diff --git "a/data.csv" "b/data.csv" deleted file mode 100644--- "a/data.csv" +++ /dev/null @@ -1,94445 +0,0 @@ -comment -"$100,000 liberal arts degree, works at Starbucks. - -Claims to be an “old soul” yet has never gone more than an hour without WiFi." -"Guaranteed that envelope contained an art school rejection letter 🤔. - -She couldn't draw the pirate." -You look like the poster child for a PSA about college debt. It's all flannel shirts and art museums until... -Whatever it is you sell on Etsy is trash -"You're trying too hard to be the ""quirky, nerdy, artsy"" high school girl. Just move on to being the lesbian cat lady you're destined to be." -"You look like you work as a barista in Portland, and go in the back and cry in the storage room when a customer is mean to you." -"If by snowflake you mean exceedingly, glaringly white, and look like you're held together in irregular sized clumps, sure." -No one even zoomed in to see if your nipples were showing -There are definitely a number of men who refer to you as “that crazy bitch I ghosted.” -You look like your gay awakening was puff the magic dragon -Square lookin head -I’d bet a large Papa John’s pizza that you’ve got hairy armpits -"You look like the ""you can come as well"" friend when the friend group is making plans" -"Snowflakes are beautiful, you’re not." -Go easy shouldn't be a problem because no guy could go hard on you -100% you write complaints on your restaurant receipt & sign it with a smiley face -It looks like it’d be easier to convince you to commit graphic pornographic acts of depravity than it would be to convince you to shower. -Your aesthetic is 12-year-old trying to buy beer with a fake ID. -your imaginary boyfriend of 2 yrs just dumped you. he musta came to his senses -"Here i was thinking puberty didnt hit, looking like a hairless teenage boy." -Probably has more bush than a forest. -"Ahh, a practice girl, every guy needs one." -So how many cats do you have? -Lesbian by default.  At least you save money on razors -Emilia Clark from wish -Both your moms are the Indigo Girls -Uses her hair brush on her pubic hair -Snowflake? Explains why you've got no curves -How many Tarot decks do you own? -"I really thought “lesbian who looks 12” was your whole personality, but I looked at your comments. You’re one of *those*. At least you’ve got options when it comes to faking a personality." -"I work at a summer camp and there was a 14 year old male camper that looked just like you... - - -huh" -Why is every non-binary doing this trend 🤷🏼‍♀️ -Got that girl next door to Chernobyl look -"Her need for approval is so strong, she sends you a Yelp! review form after sex." -When book smarts GREATLY surpasses any other smarts. -I always feel uncomfortable roasting trans people :/ -You look like you get offended on other people's behalf -You look like you wore Chuck Taylor high tops with your prom dress to prove you’re “nOt liKe oThEr gIrLs.” -The most annoying kind of person. Sheltered and zero life experience but thinks they are very ‘worldly and hip’ resulting in the most obnoxious type of person that everybody hates. -"I was going to tear you a new one but Gustav Klimt saved you. And tbh your current holes clearly are going unused, so tearing you a new one would be a waste." -If awkward was a person. -"Aerosmith sang about you, “Dude Looks Like a Lady” 😂" -You look like every guy’s best friend -"Huh, so your face does stay like that if the wind changes." -"Tom? Is that you? Damn, you look good for being a transgender. Gay Pride 🏳️‍🌈" -The biggest achievement you'll ever have in life is being a lesbian in San Francisco in the middle of a rolling blackout -“Bit of a snowflake?” Your complexion says one giant snowflake. I’m going to skip this one because I’m sure nobody on this earth could go “easy” enough. Probably gets offended by the phrase good morning. -"Your the girl in the friend group the guys are glad actually likes other girls and no, they don’t want to watch" -My pronouns are xe/xim and I am a demigirl who is omnisexual -"If 10 million women were rated on a scale of 1-10 for attractiveness and all the 5's were put in a room with you and then they were rated on a scale of 1-10 again, you would be a 5 amongst the 5's." -You look like you still stomp your feet when you cry. -The most adversity you've ever faced was when there was no vegan option on the menu.  -Your favorite drink is gender fluid. -Claims lesbian cause guys aren’t interested.. gets drugged up at raves and has trains ran on her for the fix -"I can't explain it and I'm not gonna try, but you look like you'd be afraid of ladybugs" -"Honey, I'm a bi deep within the LGBTQ+ noosphere, and I could tell that you're such a closet butch that even RuPaul would call you, ""Sir,"" on reflex." -"Somehow, despite not even being born yet, you are every girl that attended Lilith Fair in 1997." -Last pic u look like the lesbian Ace Ventura -"Though you have strong political opinions, they are uninformed incorrect and obnoxious. Your taste in Netflix shows is trash btw" -You’ll need a hazmat suit to withstand that backshot air -"Girl next door, as long as next door is library" -I'm a pothead but my eyes open wider than that -Consider getting into motorcycles to complete the dykes on bikes for the Portland parade -Your boyfriend convinced you to go tree planting and you went back alone for a second season. -You look like you sigh and say ooohhh kaayy when asked to do something minor inconveniencing -When Elliot Page re-transitions -Your hair looks like my pubic hair if I haven't trimmed in a few months. Probably smells similar as well. -What's up with your generation looking old enough to be a parent of a millennial -Your pronouns are probably can't/even -I don’t know why you feel so bad. I’d blow a load on you and leave. -You seem like the type of girl who dyes her armpit hair instead of shaving it -My gaydar says not gay but pretends to be one as a feeble attempt to gain a personality -"The roast me thread is so fascinating to me. Decided to read the comments before looking at the photos and it just proves that with concentrated effort, people really can and will find something about you to besmirch and base their own wild assumptions on. - -My roast: OP looks like that one girl at the nearby private liberal arts college who has a podcast with a dedicated 25 monthly listeners." -Staring off into space as she celebrates her birthday alone. -You look like your favorite dinosaur is the lickalotopus 🦕 -You look so boring that museum handed you an application to be a permanent exhibit. -"Some people are raised with silver spoons. - -You look like you had silver teaspoons, Tablespoons, and *salad forks*." -I bet you use a deodorant crystal. -it’s giving never moved on from alt tiktok era -Yeah you definitely look like someone who uses Greenwich Mean Time just to be difficult. -You have subpar penmanship. -You look like you think salt is spicy -You look like even your tampons are organic and gluten-free -You look like the kind of girl I’d message on Reddit then decide it’s just not worth it… -"Why 6 spoons for a birthday dinner by yourself? Nice your imaginary friends splurged on a free bowl of ice cream. You're allergic to gluten, and cake makes you sick to your stomach. When people meet you, they get the same feeling, except when they throw up on their pants, they don't sit next to trees and take selfies." -"You think because you drive a Subaru with all wheel drive and wear carhartt it makes you country. It does not. - -In fact it makes you a lesbian" -Why do you hold the phone like a lizard person -"Okay, okay, you don’t have to go *this* easy… it’s almost getting boring 🙄" -You’re so mediocre that both your step dad and step bro would leave you stuck in the clothes dryer -"I didn’t look through them photos, eye browsed." -Definitely messy room with tons of stuffed animals and worthless pillows on the bed. -"If those eyebrows was food, we'd end starvation." -I found Pauly Shore's Reddit account -"Words can not describe your beauty..but numbers can.. - - -2/10" -She’s one vagina away from Panera assistant manager -I smell Daddy's money. A lot of it. -He makes a lovely girl -Are you self conscious about your nose? You should be. -LolOllOololOoLolllOLol…..WOW -you look like you have the personality of warm milk -You have sexual relations with horses and dogs -"Your appearance says you frequently check up on new recipes for natural deodorant and because of that you always smell like vinegar, onions, and leaves." -For some reason I Feel like she’s the human female version of slowpoke from pokemon -Your skin is thinner than the paper you use to draw thirst traps of Booktok protagonists. -"You have the hairstyle of a 35 year old man who works at a comic book store and showers once a week. - -It's also your best feature." -This is what you get when you order Emilia Clark from Temu -Congratulations on your transition! You’re so close to being a girl -That's the ugliest looking snowflake I've ever seen. -could have really beautiful curls but doesn’t know how to read a curl tutorial to take care of them -You look like you scream “fuck Capitalism” while also holding a Starbucks and iPhone in ur hands -Just a flake -Damn... you got a long ass thumb -"Claims to love retro Tshirts, screams about micro-aggressions when you hold the thrift shop door for her." -If stank was a person -What happens when you order stranger things from wish.com -Your nose can model for the Airbnb logo -You kinda look like me -You were far and away the worst character in White Lotus Season 2 -"You seem like the kind of person to say, ""I won't get mad; just tell me."" Then proceed to throw a tantrum." -you look like you were adopted by goldi locks and the 3 bears but the bears where whiter than snow -"""Go easy, I'm a bit of a snowflake"" - girl who says she was born in the wrong generation every time one winged dove starts playing" -I just know your full bushing -Your supporting a full bush daddy's girl third wheel for sure -noah levenstein is jealous of your eyebrows. -Swiftie? -You’re so quirky and unique! Not like the other girls at all!!🙄🙄 -"Idk but you got some big ass hands, and a flat chest.. you are female right?" -You look like an autistic Emilia Clarke -Didn't know my penis could become inverted. -Where did your top lip go? -You look like a cute boy. -Look like ash from Pokémon. Better hurry that pickachu might run -Go melt. -"I'd say do something about those eyebrows, but it'll just make your forehead look bigger" -"Snowflake isn’t an adjective for “you’re granola for REI, but even it out with cocaine”" -You look like a gayer Lexi from Euphoria -You look like you to smell books to climax -You look like you think penis’s are “icky”. -Drop your Etsy link and go feed your cats -Not even a roast about how you look but this pose is giving “erm actually 🤓☝️” so hard -You look like you just discovered Pearl Jam -"You're pale enough to be a snowflake as well. You're burned or in the process of getting burned in most of these photos. - -We don't need to roast you, you can just go outside." -It's not hard to tell you're a snowflake when you dress like a lesbian feminist -I bet even your queefs smell like patchouli. -Male to female or the opposite? -"""I'm not like the other girls""" -You obviously love attention. That is all. -You look like if Wish did mail order brides. -"The whole time you were in high school, your parents told you that you would fit in better/make more friends in college. - -Then you got there, and people found you just as annoying as before." -You have a degree in Gender Studies with a minor in Interpretative Lesbian Folk Dancing don't you. -How broke are you that the only paper you had was a used envelope? -Sings worse then Ingrid Andress -Ok snowflake. Tell everyone to not turn up the heater or you might get offended. -Pic number five proves this is your month to vacation away from your mannequin friends. -Save some forehead for Peyton manning -Didn't realize you were a woman until the third picture and was only 100% sure by the fourth on the fifth I figured out you were a stoner and on the 6th i became concerned about your personal hygiene. -Didn’t I see you on To Catch a Predator with Chris Hansen? -You look like you have sourdough starter. You probably smell like kombucha. Maybe try a lint roller for the cat hair you have on everything. -I can’t toast -"Constructive feedback- Clean up your eyebrows, then you’ll be much more attractive. Easy peasy" -You look like what vinegar tastes like. -20 bucks her pubic hair is braided. -"Roast me? Go easy? Likely single because inconsistent and gives mixed messages. Clearly not looking for criticism, simply seeking affirmation and attention." -this is autism if i’ve ever seen it -It's like I asked AI to come up with some pictures of the average redditor -"You had me at ""I dont use a letter opener""." -"No, I’m not roasting you until you tell us why you have 6 spoons for one scoop of ice cream." -"You look like you start crying profusely anytime someone asks how you're doing. - -Good thing no one asks." -Nah you cute af -"You couldn't possibly be a snowflake, snowflakes are pretty and unique..." -"Emilia Clarke from temu, but instead of being the mother of dragons, you're the mother of liberal virgins." -Dracarys. 🔥 -Two years of liberal arts at community college and she’s already munching carpets. -“We have Emilia Clarke at home” -You look like Dustin from Stranger Things. -"You look like you have at least one item that says “live,laugh,love” on it" -We all know you keep it fuzzy -Definitely no OnlyFans with that face -Definitely majored in liberal arts and definitely uses their degree to work at Starbucks -Your eyes are too far apart but they are closer than your mom and dad will ever be -"No you're not, snowflakes are unique" -It’s what makes a Subaru a Subaru -"Why ask for a roast then say go ""easy"".... On reddit..." -I'm sure your gender studies degree is really working out for you. -Looks like she uses Cherokee hair tampons -Type of girl to let her armpit hair grow out to embrace “natural beauty” -It’s like a Picasso painting come to life. -Da fk is wrong with your nostrils? -You look like the Jewish girl in every Holocaust movie -Wanted to congratulate you on your transition! -You look like the person to get friend zoned by a prostitute you already paid for -"You see Meg, you’re what we call a practice girl. " -"wait how can ppl be roasting you, you are literally so adorable and your smile is beautiful! but kudos to you for being down for the roast. can just tell you have a very kind, gentle soul 🦋" -Bi-girlie who doesn’t know she’s autistic yet -"I'd tell you to go outside and touch grass since you're so white, but like you said, You're a snowflake and you'd likely melt." -You look genuinely happy. Maybe a lil qwerky too. -100% chance she works at a renaissance fair -You look like the type of girl to dap up someone you have a crush on and wonder why your in the friendzone -what college would take some snowflake who can’t even open an envelope properly?? -Why do you look like you would falsely accuse a man of raping you? -"Homie ima be real, when they tell you to go high when people go low... that doesn't mean you get high." -You look like Weird Al had a love child with a pile of donated clothes from Goodwill. -"Nah, you look happy. Why ruin it." -He looks like she ran out of money midway through transitioning... -“Funny” girl that still quotes memes and vines from 2016 -Was the third photo shot at Harvard? -You look like you posted a black square -Buy a letter opener you freakin savage -You look like a liberal -"Roast you? Worst I can say is maybe a cool haircut and an outfit with some pizzazz and character. Other than that your pretty cute, no homo. You got the look that the right hair and outfit can cause a glow up. - -Other thing, don't tell reddit to roast you. I'm giving you an honest but not mean answer. Are you attractive? Yeah, I'd say so. Is there stuff you could easily do to improve your level? Yeah, sure. Should you take any such action because of what me or 20k other ppl think? I hope that you would not except for fun sometimes maybe." -Eat the damn ice cream before the candle melts it! -"you look like the type of person who has always been extremely privileged, hasn’t ever really faced adversity in their life in any way, and then claims to be trans or nonbinary just because you have self worth issues and sometimes you like the 90’s grunge aesthetic. (but mostly because it’s easy to put together and most days you don’t have the confidence to do much else.) - -honorable mention: you look like somebody who likes hozier because you think he’s this deep, poetic savant without realizing that he’s just jerking it and pandering to you in a blatantly obvious (and disingenuous) way." -You look like you are vegan… are you vegan? -Undiagnosed autism in 6 pictures. -"If by “snowflake” you mean “white as hell”, you’re not wrong." -Ia that your picture on the milk box -"All i can say is, autism." -You definitely use lemons as deodorant. -Id hit -Dumb lookin ah. U got the genes of someone who definitely churned butter in the past. -"Your face sais..eco..lesbian..vegan.global warming..conspiracy -Clothes say you got no style." -I'd have fallen in love with you 20 years ago but kept it to myself -You look like you're too scared to ask for extra ketchup -comment -You need to get on incestry.com and trace your family shrub -If Millhouse was a girl. -You look like you're about to sell me 32 sticks for an emerald -Looks like you’re wearing those comical fake glasses with the big ass nose to disguise yourself in that last pic 💀💀 -I’m sorry you lost your fight with that electrical pole in “Hereditary.” -Look like a microwaved muppet -When did your eyes have an argument? -The nose maybe in Nebraska but the eyes surely are closer to the coast. -You look like the girl that bit ppl in high school -Now that’s a sloth -You look like your dad fucked a blobfish and you were the unfortunate result. -" -The only reason I find you cute is because I am blind and into black girls!" -You look like you'd put out for microwave dino nuggets and 3 year old pack of chick fil a sauce. -Looks like your Dad hit you between the eyes with his best shot while you were still in the womb. -You look like sid the sloth from ice age -Oh my God Barbra Streisand has a great great grandaughter -Why roast you further when you already look pretty fried? -"I’d say to start working on your onlyfans content, but honestly I don’t think you’ll get the views" -Hopefully you live on some remote farm just east of North Platte Nebraska because no one should have to look at that face in public. -This is why you don’t drink while pregnant people! -How do you look 14 and 82 at the same time with glasses on? -"Now this is not to be mean, but honest. You seriously look like you have a goiter (swollen thyroid). Next time you go to the doctor, have him check it out. If you're having any issues. Look up symptoms to Hashimotos, Graves disease or hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism." -"I was once in an airplane, and the pilot announced that everyone should look out both the left and right windows. - -He told the people in the middle that they were missing nothing, and that was because we were over Nebraska. - -You've suffered enough. I'll leave you alone." -You look like a thirty year old mom with progeria -If seasonal depression was a person -Looks like you just woke up from laying in the middle of a freeway during some progressive protest -I did a charity fundraiser recently that I think may have paid for the bus that collects you from home. Glad to see that didn’t go to waste -Shouldn’t you be digging a tunnel in my backyard under the lawn? -You look like if steamed unseasoned vegetables were a person -This girl doesn't even look old enough to be in this sub. -It's the Cannabis Fairy! -Your nose is 18 a week before you -"No roast, but truly: How is your brain strong enough to send a signal to both your East and West eye at the same time?" -👁️👄👁️ -You look like Layne Staley -Your green hair is a sign of mental stability and not a red flag. Lol. -"By the looks of the second pic, looks like someone’s already gave you their best shot " -Gypsy Rose is that you? -This is what I imagine a female garden gnome looks like -If i could put a picture to the word depression -"Good god, looking at you is depressing and exhausting. Armies could airdrop photos of you on their enemies and remove their energy and morale overnight." -You look like the blob fish. It's kind of uncanny. -Bob's Burgers character. -Sid the sooths home with all of the extra chromie -" 👁 👁 - - 👃 - 👄" -Looking like a character from Doug wtf!! -Finally a woman who actually posted a pic of herself without makeup. Your hair matches your sweater. And that's not a good thing. -Nanny McPhee lookin ass -Probs a liberal -You look like my son -"It looks like you came out roasted, what more do you want?" -You look like a jew -"Poster child for ""missing child"" and ""autism""" -Your hairline goes back to 1990 teenage mutant ninja turtles -would you like an emerald? -Would rather hit you with a wooden stick! -"No need to roast you, life owned you already enough" -That the chick from hereditary?.. atleast she gives good head -"If you were a pastry you wouldn't even make it as a plain brown donut, in fact, you're just a plain bagel." -You’ll be taking shots in humiliation porn soon enough -Behold! The rare female incel! -You are a walking green haired fetus -you be looking like a garden gnome and Gollem had a child and threw it down the stairs -Jesus you could land a 747 on that 8 head -"You look like an elf, and we know they age well could be 100+" -You look like you would be convicted of murder if you ever played peek-a-boo with babies. -"You look like if Stanley Kubrik took another stab at a movie with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman called, ""Eyes Wide... Apart.""" -The grinch if he went by they/them -Somebody already hit you with the two piece combo according to that nose -She definitely JUST uses the first 2 pix on Plenty Of Fish in 10 years -How does the fat relocate itself to a new position in each photograph -Meg Sheeran -You'd save makeup artists so much money on the hobbit -mclovin twin sister -Nah honestly she needs to get plastic surgery -Go dawgs....cornhuskers suck....hope I didn't make you cry -The long-lost Gallagher child finally found! Too bad Frank didn't live long enough.... -I thought you were a dude -better keep sharp objects away from you (best roast i can do think you’re cute tbh) -How many families have been sucked into your nostrils???? -big ass nose -"Oh your lost more lost then a chick as a first time prostitute -More lost then your mom playing fortnite oh wait she's dead -Bros eye to eye ratio is bigger then Pandora's box -Don't you have a world record for biggest nose" -Is it true? Nothin says lovin like marryin your cousin? -"No, why would you ask that." -voting for joe biden -Nose so big she doesn't do lines she does Boulder's -You look like you are Trans and put woman cromozones into your body -I can smell the sex toys from here. -Dang bro you must be a goldfish for how far you you eyes are to each other -You look like the type of person who would buy a Harry Potter licensed dildo -Your new name is Gertrude and nothing will change that -Looking like a goblin from clash royale. -Bro dyed her hair with takis dust -U got a tism? -You look like the fucken goblin from clash -That nose is screaming right now -You’ll never get where you want to be because you hide behind that stupid green hair. It would be easy for you to find love and happiness but you don’t know how and won’t ask -You look like you’re about to choke to death on a ham sandwich. Voice of an angel but uglier than sin itself. Spawn of Janis Joplin. -I'd wondered what happened to DJ Qualls -"You look like when you put makeup on. you would be the fucking female gremlin from gremlins 2. - -Also you could land a fucking helicopter on that shnozz" -I think I fucked your mom once.............. -Would smash -Well you lost the face lottery in a big way. -are you part of the Whittaker’s family? -"You look like the mental image I get when I try to envision a person being run over and flattened into a round pancake …but in a comical way, so they’re still alive and they’re kinda like a smosh of parts…just…eyeballs floating around , staring two completely different directions" -"Mr. Snuffleupagus called, and he wants his nose back!" -"""You have done that yourself"" - obi wan kenobi" -The biggest plain and a mountain in 1 face -Plastic surgery won’t help bro💀🙏 -Great figure -I'd hit you with my best shot but It'd bounce off your forehead -Are you a sloth? -The Pikmin want there leader back -Why tf she look like a blob fish? Someone put this lady back under pressure -who wants to play tic tac toe on her forehead -Elotrix seine Tochter???? -"For the first time, i cant think of 1 negative thing on a roast board." -Died your hair green for attention and you're still invisible -You seem too happy to be a mechanic -You look like if billy eilish and a Minecraft villager had a child -Booty cheeks pp nose and a butt chin -"Blowfish looking homosexual looking wanna be emo get out of -My face u look like a blobfish" -Pull out Ina heart beat -You look like a poor Billy Eilish. -Those eggs look like a solid lump of plastic and judging by that goofy grin on your face you look like you are all for it. 10/10 the doggy at the end is the mvp of this photo session. The one saving grace.  -Land an airplane on that fivehead -if “butterface” had a Mascot -Awe I didn’t think Sesame Street got a new Muppet -All this shit talking knowing 90% of you would smash that in a heartbeat. No need to call back though.... -"After you're done being roasted, hit that nail in your coffin with that nose of yours, hammerhead" -I do not roast people who are actually 12M and not 18 -Your face appears to have a little bit of continental drift going on somewhere but I can’t pinpoint what’s the worst attribute. -the length of where your eyes are apart is crazy -"Best shot is right between the eyes, since there is so much space" -May the forehead be with you. -did you mean to put a 1 in front of the 8? common mistake -Looks like someone already did. -Obvious you just lacking confidence pick it up a little bit you got a really good luck going you just haven't really tapped into it yet -You look like a sloth with your eye so far apart and stinky green moldy hair. -No -you look 12 -50 dollar cab ride from eye to eye -"party on, Garth." -"Do you have to turn sideways, so that your nose can fit in Wal-Mart's entranceway?" -It looks like life already hit you with its best shot. -do you try to look stupid and awkward on purpose -You look like a blobfish grew a teenage boy's body. -"Keep the look you have, a lot of guys would wear you out" -Cute!!!!! -Awwwww. A real life troll doll! -"Your eyes are so far apart, I’ll bet you’ve never said “you’re blocking my view”" -It would be assault to hit a 12 year old. -Second pic looks like the football team is done. -"I get why you need our best shots, the mediocre ones already landed on your jeans" -"I’ll stick my dick in a lot of things, but this is where I draw the line." -I wouldn’t hit you with my best money shot. -Is yo daddy Sid? 👁️ 👁️ -Sloth eyes 👁️ 👁️ -You are uglier then a pig -Why do this to yourself? -Someone hit you so hard on the top of your head everything else shifted downwards. -You look really easy to draw -Looks like Ganondorf -You look like a deformed velociraptor if it forgot what having a small nose is. -It’s a little early in the year for a hog roast. -You look like gypsy rose’s long lost cousin -How do you look different in each photo -Which Dr. Seuss book do you get your wardrobe inspiration from? -I see lots of best shots hitting you. About the face and throat regions. On a couch. And there will be a camera man. -Your so stupid that u tell people to roast u but u roast ur self cause ur stupid -"You look like a lesbian English teacher, actually that might be more of a competent and less of a burn in your case." -Got better sense of smell than ur dog -It’s a family root -Damn you’ve been cursed with a helicopter pad lookin ass forehead and an ogre nose with green hair and how you look skinny but I can still see your other chin tryna show it’s self -You have a great personality. -You look like your missionary and dog feel the same 😂 -horizontally stretched jpeg -"Sid - the sloth ass eyes." -If insomnia was a person -"Come back to Reddit to ask that question again when you turn 12 years old... -.." -Eyes in different zip codes -Your eyes are drifting apart apparently. -On the 3rd pic you’re to ugly to be eating that dish -Looks like you could smell colors -U look like a beluga whale as a person.i don’t even mean weight or anything i just mean the shape of ur face.it genuinely looks like what i think a beluga whale would look like -ugot jiz on ur clothes -What is that on ur pants -"What’s that on your pants … grandads ashes? -Hey … I get it sometimes u need a late night snack." -It took about 10 seconds to scroll past that enormous forehead -You could probably write everyone of these comments on your forehead -You look like the little girl from hereditary -"Reverse cowgirl is illegal in Alabama, for this reason. You turn your back on family then this happens." -Isn't it past your bedtime? -That would be a waste of time -When did you transition? -I thought glasses were supposed to make your nose look smaller not the other way around. -What area code do you have to dial to reach your nose? -Meg? - A downvote -I feel like they will just ask for the manager of Reddit if I said anything. I give props on saving that kid in ice age. -The hills have eyes -You look like Tom hanks big toe -"Family totem pole, one member on top of the other" -You’re a very handsome young man. -Goblin ahh nose -"Chernobyl had one survivor... imparately. - -You look like a Blob fish and an ugly human had a baby." -Cute kid -"Buttered toast, Eddie!" -Loved you in the last of us -What hair 😍 -Your dad is definitely your brother -I would but I don't want to get on the Goblin Kings bad side. -Bro is gonna need a 24 and me for how fucked yo that family circle is -The second image really looks like the 🧍‍♀️ -Your cheeks (on your face) are too round. -You look beautiful -You would make a good reindeer -Lose the green hair. Get some smaller glasses. Keep the nose. It will be sexy and You'll be fine. -You’re cute don’t listen to the incels :) -LOL You look stoned the photo with the paper. -Why would you post that last picture? Take that off the internet -"It’s like you’re 3 cats in a trench coat, except you’re like 5 of those fish blobs with human faces" -Did someone use photoshop spot healing on your eyebrows? -you look like you're from nebraska -Smash. -The ground is warming up so I made it back to the surface meep meep -Your hair is so green… that’s it -You look like you crochet the coziest sweaters. Crocheting is for dorks. (I also crochet). -When you hate your white privilege and think your brother can get pregnant. -You look 10 -Did you file a police report about the stolen eyebrows and mustache off your novelty glasses? -"Gimme your gd sock already, Dobbie" -even Britan doesn't want to invade you -"Hopefully some is old enough to get this... Are you Kira from ""The Dark Crystal""?" -you stink at fortnite 😎 (sorry if I hurt your feelings) -"None needed, you're pretty, only thing I say is let go of the dye" -Nice wig dude -Are you Jewish? -Looks like you're trying to show us a journey to become a goblin. -I’d hit you with my truck if I could -Left eye begging your right eye not to leave yet -You look like if shreck and the avart have a child and it would be you -Avatar: The last airbender -Judging by that nose I would say you’ve already been hit by some shots -"Your go-to line is, - -""Do the thug shake""" -You look like you already got a good right hook shot to the face with he ugly gloves -I feel like you nose a lot -My best shot? How about a 50 cal? -Either your mom drank during pregnancy or your parents are siblings. -"You need surgery -On your hair!!! -Please just go back to the normal color -Otherwise u actually have potential" -"""If you do cocaine I bet all your friends be mad as hell at you""" -Sid the sloth? Is that you? Where's Manny?? -How many versions of Hereditary are we doing here. -Fuck me it's Jimmy savilles love child. Menacing eyes too like Ted Bundy 😂 -"That’s not a forehead, that’s a five head." -You look like Greta Thunberg's unwanted sister. -You look like a trans inbred liberal. -Look like the guy from up 😂 -"Id say Elmer Fudd is your doppleganger, but I wouldn’t want to offend him" -You look like an acconplished person 👍 -"This is r/roast me, not auditions for love on the spectrum" -Why tf are your eyes running away from your nose -You’re the kind of girl that looks better in a glory hole booth -( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) just add green hair -I feel like you already nose what’s roast is coming you could’ve smelled this from a mile away I feel -Looks like you’ve told a lie in every other picture. -"You look like the kind of mechanic to ask a cover “would you like full service today, and I don’t mean on your car”! XD ;p" -It's really hard to roast a twelve-year-old. -Live action Sid the sloth lookin ass -You guys are really going for the low hanging fruit here...with that said jesus Christ i have never seen eyes like that the printer must have broken mid printing -Must be weird knowing your parents are siblings -Wasn't she in Ice Age? -U look like a poison ivy plant -God already set your life's difficulty to expert with that vegeta hairline -Looks like your dad already did -You look like if that one smart kid from polar express was trans -Why the fuck are your eyes so far apart? -The second photo😂 looks like a lot to unpack there -You look like you want to steal my emeralds -ADORABLE! You are too young to be 18. -You look like a turnip -You look like something Jim Henson would create -"Looks like they already hit you with their best shots all over your jeans in the second pic -8===D 💦💦💦" -the nose is further right than donald trump.  -u look like sid from ice age ...... -comment -"""19m"" - -... You sure?" -"I'm sorry for you loss. Things will get better over time. On the upside, at least you now have a legit excuse for when people ask you ""why the long face?""." -I’m genuinely sorry for your loss. I have a bag of carrots in my fridge that I’d be willing to hand feed you. Prolly some apples too. -Okay we need a picture of you and not your dead mom though -At least she left you her wardrobe -"Lookin like the phrase ""ladies and gentlemen""." -"What did she die from, disappointment?" -"Good thing the roomba is plugged in, 2 ash piles is gonna be rough." -M? -"'A better place' is a term thrown around a lot. - -I just think it refers to anywhere you aren't." -Is she in the roomba? -"Why would you post a picture of her corpse leaning against the wall, you sicko??" -At least she died knowing she had a son. Or daughter. Or whatever the fuck you are. At least she died? -"You look like Steven Tyler, just more masculine" -"I’m so sorry for your loss. If you look on the bright side though, she doesn’t have to deal with your bullshit any longer" -Did your hairbrush die too? -Alanis Moreset your ass down. -"No matter what, don’t do something foolish. Like you did when you purchased those jeans." -At least now you don't have to worry about returning the clothes you stole from her. -"I'm reading all of the comments--to everyone offering themselves up for a chat, if I need it, thank you. It's much appreciated. And I'm doing the best I can, but it helps to have people in my corner. Even Redditors." -You were great in Aquaman -You’re just a kid. Try to find happiness. -"Normally, I love ripping into people here... but I'm not completely heartless, I'm really sorry for your loss, it'll take time but eventually it becomes somewhat easier... I just have one question, for someone to be going through something like this, why would you *want* people to tear you apart?" -"My sincere condolences, ugly" -She died from shame. Straighten up. Fly right. Get a haircut...and some pussy -The most interesting thing about you is the Wall Drug sign in your profile.... -Your mother loved you and will always be with you. You are loved. So sorry for your loss. -I’m sending you a big hug. Put one foot in front of the other. It was get easier. -Wana blow that inheritance on blow with me? -"I lost my mom, too. If there's any consolation we unfortunate two share it's that we're not alone going through this terrible ordeal. And, always remember that, although times are hard right now, they'll never be as hard as the outline of your penis in those jeans." -You look like a dude...sorry for your loss. -Not gonna roast you.. I just want to say I’m so very sorry. -Too bad because you have a face only a mother could love. -"I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can grieve in whatever way works best for you. I'm sorry for what follows, but I think I get why you're doing this at this time. -Why do your jeans have a labia? There are innies and there are outies, but you've taken it way too far. -Peace and love to your family." -A boy named Sue. -"Sorry, can’t do it. I lost mine recently, so roasting you is a hard no." -How is this a request to get roasted after knowing you lost your mother? I lost my dad in December I am still not the same. This isn’t cool. -"... can't do it. What ever else happened, I bet your mom was at least half as beautiful as you. Sorry for your loss. - -If you want to blow some shit up or burn something down... I recommend DOING IT, without going to jail or fucking your life up." -It’s funny because you look like you died two weeks ago. -Atleast now you can wear her clothes without asking. -There goes the free basement. -Did Aerosmith write a song about op? -"Sorry for your loss, it's never easy, the anger with sadness. You just get numb to it after a while." -"Yeah, sorry for your loss. Much like mine, she'll watch you get shittier with time though, chin up. it's what she would want" -This trans community things got me fucked up sis -We should be talking about how you should have bought some clothes instead of dropping $300 on a roomba -"Well, you already look dead on the inside." -“This too shall pass.” (But of course never forgotten). We are all on our way—sorry for your loss. -"This isn't the place to be in a difficult time of your life. Surround yourself with friends and family, and open up when things are difficult. You can do this." -Losing moms is tough. She’s proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. Keep making her proud and may God rest her soul. -Sorry for your loss kid. -"No roast, sorry for your loss." -This looks like a mugshot from that one singer who went to jail. I can’t remember exactly. On top of that you seem like you have a strong case of gender dysphoria -You always have her pallor -19m? I thought it was a chick -I feel like you want me to comment on the awkward romance you have going on with your speaker but I won’t. -"Pros and Cons: - -Cons: Your mom passed away. You look like Cher. - -Pros: That Roomba looks new." -"At least she only had 19 years of disappointment to deal with. Regardless, she’s in a much better place." -Did they cremate the right one? -Both of my parents died a week apart last month... stop being a pussy 😅 (both of mine did pass last month. Sorry for your loss. I feel ya.) -Was it the loss of her daughter? -"Chin up, young lady. I'm sure that your mom is looking up at you now, mildly disappointed." -Sorry for your loss. It’s hard especially at a young age. Take some time off to cool down. -Sorry for your loss -You G af. Go lay down -"Fake post, Chyna died in 2016." -Were you her undertaker? Did you chokeslam her into the casket -19m? Is that a typo? -She's in a better place now... clearly... -"“You wanna fuck me? I’d fuck me.” - -MANGINA" -I recently lost my mother. It’s painful. My condolences to you. -Where’s Silent Bob? -"Hon, you are perfect the way you are. Much love and hugs for you at this most difficult time of your life. You deserve love, above all. Never ask for less." -I refuse to do so based on the circumstances. I’ve been in your shoes and you have my deepest sympathy 💐 -Transvestite HAIM -At least you got her Roomba -The only time I’ll get flowers on Valentine’s Day is if I die on valentines day -Sorry about your Mom. I miss mine dearly and think about her all the time. -I’m sorry. No roast. Prayers for you and your family. -"Hey, so sorry for your loss, but self hurt doesn’t warranted a better outcome for you, things will get better overtime." -"Roasting you is pointless because angels don't burn. - - -(Sorry for your loss my best wishes)" -"Definitely can't roast you, I lost My Dad years ago. It sucks, just remember to find reasons to smile." -"I'm not that fucked up, I am sorry about your mother. It does get easier. I promise." -First time I actually would appreciate seeing someone’s pronouns -Mouth down you look like a cool dude. -What kinda grief does one go through to the point they need to be roasted? Hope ur doing ok buddy -If I was your mom I would rather be dead than have a horse face daughter too -"Horse walks into a bar, bartender says why the long face, then says its mom died two weeks ago" -"Gorgeous, man, woman, it, whatever. Condolences on your mom." -I thought you posted the picture of your mom's corpse. -So sorry for your loss prayers to you -"As someone who also lost his mom (a little over a year ago), I cannot roast you here today. I’m very sorry for your loss." -Well at least she had a son.. -U look abit dusty don't u sweetheart -"Perfect mugshot, you can not blame your mother now... so who you blaming the shooting on???" -No obstacles in the way of playing pool on that shirt. -You didn't ask for the 2 for 1 special? -Allanis Bore-issette -Good thing you look like your dad. -"Cremate your walmart clothes, too." -So you’re who Michael Jackson was talking about when he said “hehe” -You like Slash’s bastard son -Ladies & Gentlemen Body Ahhh -Why the long face? -"First of all, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I can’t “roast you”. I can only urge you to comb your hair put some real clothes on and get a hold of a psychiatrist STAT! Love always, Mom." -If she left that means she doesn’t want you to join her. -So sorry -At least she's not around to be disappointed in you anymore. -Sorry to hear about your mom! You’re not ugly -I will not. -Your legs are so skinny it can even last a millisecond in a cowgirl position -The only person that's going to find you attractive is matthew broderick. He loves horses and is just gay enough. -Norman bates situation wearing your dead mom’s clothes -Apparently Steven Tyler is making a comeback -If Glenn Danzig transitioned as a teenager. -"You look like a human version of Bojack Horseman, have you gotten a free churro yet?" -Did you inherit that roomba? That would be looking on the brightside -Somebody ate your previous legs and just left the bone. And now there your legs right now -No. -Too soon -Oh hey Richard Ramirez -"I can't tell if this thing is transitioning into a girl or guy, I'm as confused as it's sexuality is" -You look like you’ve been stuffed and propped by a bad taxidermist -I'll penis you to death so you can join her -Aw you’re wearing her clothes because you miss her? -((Hugs)). I’m sorry. -"Sorry for your loss, but to be fair, any place away from you is a better place" -"So sorry about your loss, but it looks like you accidentally posted a photo of your dead mother." -If Arnold Schwarzenegger was trans and scared of lifting weights -"bet that roomba came in handy, to sweep up your mom and your remaining self esteem… breakdown, rebuild stronger brotha" -Peter Steele .. my favorite lead singer. -"Y'all need to stop doing this, now I feel guilty asking you how Camp Arawak was." -"Write a song, join a band, bring back 80s rock ballads" -You’d look great with a mullet -Oh shit I didn't know they were remaking Sleepaway Camp! -You look like you auditioned for the Brady bunch and got declined -The brake drugs seem to be working -Dude you got the horse face lol -You look like you been dead for 10 years already -I can't tell which way your transition is going. -Good luck in the big game tonight. -Sorry for your loss. May you find peace. -"Hmmm. -Looks like the only way she could get you to move out was to die.." -I’m sure she’s in a much better place now…away from you -Sorry about your mom. Hopefully she left you some money to buy some clothes. -there’s no way you’re a boy -You look like you where to get the best bootleg estrogen -"Thank God you put M next to 19, F might have worked too. As a matter of fact, NB suits you." -You look like the middle picture of a horse animorph. -She's in a better place now. That better place is away form you. -Why aren’t you marked as 19f? -How do loose jeans have camel toe? -So she is survived by her 19 year old daughter? -They put the wrong one in the casket. -Do you enjoy being the lead singer for Type O Negative? -You look like Chuck Shouldiner from Death if he was transgender. But he died too. -Your a male how many people are trans 💀💀 -Were you in The Ring? -At least you got the Sleepaway Camp money to keep you afloat. -You’re a very pretty man -like-Mother Like-Daughter -You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh oops wait I forgot.... -Do you identify as your sister? -Why the long face? -No roast. Sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is horrible. -I’ve seen more curves on the lumber at Home Depot. But at least the transition is going ok. -Take care brother ✌🏼🤓 -Why would you do this ? -Loved you as Derek Smalls in Spinal Tap -"Well, it can't get any worse. Your mom can only die once. (From experience)." -No way Young Lady ! Stop the madness !! -I'll cremate u -*Hugs* ❤️ Long haired men deserve compassion too. -I'll creamate u -"Sorry for your loss OP. - -And if you do get cremated, at least your robot vacuum will be able to pick up your ashes" -I’m so sorry for your loss. -No. Sorry for your loss. -Sorry for your lost. My sincerest condolences. -So sorry for your loss. -I can't do it. Hang in there. -You've got your mother's dead eyes. -You've got a face only a mother could love. -I am sorry to hear about your mom. -Are you a chick or the kid from dazed and confused? -I almost jerked off to this -Ngl you look cute -My condolences 😞🙏 -"No need to use your mom's clothes, just get your own" -There are time when we relish roasting folks...other time we want you to know that we love you and will be praying for you. -Sorry 😢 -How’s the transition going ? Maybe up the dosage ? -For a chick your pretty flat chested -Ill be your new mommy -Get help -Sorry for your loss! At least she left knowing that the one at the door welcoming her looks just like you. Is that you Jesus? -I’m so sorry for your loss of your mom!!💔 -“19m” you’re trolling right? -ur def hiding a dick -"No, no i won’t" -I thought you were a woman at first untill I saw 19m. -"Look on the bright side, you never have to worry about coming out as whatever gender you are to her." -She lives on in you. You look just like her. -They call you Casper the Ghost’s whiter sister -smash -"I'm sorry for your loss. - -I'm also sorry that your mom is no longer around to buy you unwornout clothes that fit properly. 😬" -"Knock knock -“Who’s there?” -Not ur Mom !!!😏🤷🏽‍♂️🧑🏻‍🦳💀⚰️🧟‍♀️" -"Bro is this a pick of you or your mom? - -Sorry btw." -Hopefully she left you her makeup and clothes. So you can finally commit to the femboy lifestyle. -You look deader than your dead mom ☠️😵 -Don’t ever go to prison -I’m sure she was proud of your feminine form. -You should try getting sleep. I’ve been told it’s important. Sorry for your loss -ur face is making me lag -ur face is making me lag -"sorry for the loss, but at least ur ugly" -I can see why she did… -You look like if a mermaid grew up on land -Roast you? It’s hard to roast someone with superpowers. Suuuuuuper simple… -Welcome to the orphan gang 🤙🏼 also you look like a chick -I was going to ask why the long face…. -She probably dye because of your ugly face -No bra -You must drink dark roasted coffee -That's so rough my man your only 19 advice don't go to drugs or sex wait some time join a gym get the sads out again owes You got sibs lean on them go Make mum proud she'll see you -Sorry for your loss. Was it of embarrassment? -You wear baggy clothes to hide the shame of loss -Now we know what Resting Dead Mom Face is -Is your dad Mr Ed? -cremate me to is fucking INSANE -I’m guessing she always wanted a boy instead? -You're not supposed to use the ashes as a conditioner dude -Your mom died to get away from you -"The 80's thrasher haircut only works for some people. Fortunately for you, it doesn't." -Too early to raid her closet don't you think? -I am sorry for your loss. Please don't give up on your life. I know it's a difficult thing to process. If you need someone to talk to we will be happy to help you through this healing process -You sure you’re not the dead body ? -That's really sad if true. -"I would kms if you were my daughter also. - -(No hate, much love to you and your family, I feel very sorry for your loss)" -Nah dude. I can’t do it. Hang in there bro. -Did your mom die of disappointment? -"Old physician here. I can’t roast you. I’m very sad for you and you’re obviously devastated as expected. I can’t say it gets easier with time but you adjust. Just stay safe, ok?" -That’s a face only a mother could love….oh shit well looks like your out of luck -"I can only imagine the pain your going through - -But dw with a face like that, you can turn mourning into a lucrative side job. -I’m sure the offers are through the roof since the funeral. - -. - -RIP to mommy tho, time heals all wounds." -Clearly died of disappointment... -Which way are you transitioning? -Are you a girl or a guy -sorry for your loss dawg -"I don’t need to roast you, five seconds in the sun, and you’d be done. No need for official cremation." -GENDER BENDER 🤔🤯 -"Better fire up that Roomba. Somebody's got to sweep up what's left of your shattered heart, and it won't be your mother. - -Seriously, my condolences to you. Your mother certainly raised a strong woman. You got this." -You are more pale than your mothers ghost at this point. -Oh I get it your Norman Bates!! -The most interesting thing about you 1 year from now will be that your mom died 54 weeks ago. -Woahh I literally thought that was a dude -She probably faking after seeing how much of a failiure you are -Lookin’ like a trans Peter Steele. -"I thought the 80s died too, but here you are" -Yeah I think the reaper missed them took the mum instead -"You poor thing, what was your murder weapon? I can tell by the deviant eyes. I’m just fooling lmao idk if I went to far but I really didn’t intend for anything but to crack a smile sorry 🤣💪🏼" -"Damn, it’s like rain on your wedding day." -"The only favor she ever did for you? - -Lost some family last couple years. Hey hello of you need it" -You look like a woman. -I feel your pain I lost mine at the age of 5 -"Sorry for your loss, i will save this fire for another time" -Who's thinking outside the box now🗿🍷 -She died to get away from you. -"Your mom would want you to love yourself, and your a very pretty young woman with a stupid green sweater. That's all the roast you'll get from me right now." -Did testosterone also ooze out of your eyes with tears of grief? -"Nope. Sorry about your loss, kid. Really." -Why the long face -Girl that's fucked up. You are too young to experience that loss. I hope you get therapy -"Just because she died doesn't mean you had to steal her cloths.. - -in all seriousness though are you really a guy, and just enjoy dressing like a middle aged soccer mom... - -Or are you really a girl that was born so ugly you decided to pretend to be a guy." -Well first of all man or woman? -"I can't roast anyone that recently lost their mom. I know you're lookin for some laughs to cheer you up.... so do what I do... roast everyone else lol - -Hope you feel better soon." -Looking at you I understand why she gave up -I feel like you got the f confused with m. Like how some people can't tell their L from their R. -"Not roasting you. - -I've lost my mum in 2020 due to Covid. It was the biggest punch in my face. I was 25 when mum died and I was asking everyone when this pain, grief will end. - -The answer is - it took me 3 years to fully, emotionally recover. You'll too. Just give yourself time and be absolutely selfish. Nobody will love you the way your mother loved you, so its your time to love yourself and put yourself first everywhere. - -Best wishes for you. DM is open for any emotional support. ❤️" -You already look dead anyway -Looks like you’re the man of the house now -Pronouns: pen/is -"Camel toe, camel face, bet you are easily hydrated!👍" -I’m sorry 😢 -You need a new account called BoJack_Horsewoman -Are you admitting to it or.... -I'm sure you were the best son and daughter that your mom could ever ask for! -"I'm sorry for your loss. I legit read the caption as ""Cream me too"" and ended up confused af" -Damn at first I was sure you were a chick. -She obviously didn't leave you any money in the will. -"Sorry about your mom. Even in jest, I wouldn't want to say anything hurtful. Hang in there, you will make it through." -You look like a man with a female Snapchat filter -Did she die when you told her you identified as a female? -If you spill her ashes that roomba will come in handy -I would rather read 19m on Omegle chat than see your face next to it. -You’re leaning over due to lack of Jean material at your knee. -Next time tag a NSFW please dude! -Im sorry. -I’m sorry about your mom. Hope you’re healing and managing your grief. -I kinda wanna roast the people that are trying to get you to pitty Fvck them even though you're the one who deserves a pitty Fvck. -You look like an old late 70’s photo -"No roast. As someone who has also lost their mom at a young age, it fucking sucks. Gets easier as the days go by but never the same. Take care of yourself" -Sorry for your loss I know the feeling of losing your mother at that age is traumatic. I was the same age when mine passed away. I wish you well and if you ever need to talk I'll listen. -"And yet she's still cuter than you. (I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.... honestly I've never apologized on this sub before.)" -Built like a 12 year olds Roblox avatar. -The roomba isn’t the only thing on this picture that sucks -You look like a pickle -"Nope, ain’t gonna happen! Please accept my sincere condolences on the occasion of your loss. - -TF motivated you to seek solace here of all places?" -Your penis is actually just the world's longest clit and you just are lacking in the chesticles -My condolences fam -There is no way this is a dude. That is one feminine dude. -"I am so sorry about your loss, Robert" -Is this a mugshot? -So great of u trying to move on. Best luck my little pony -Look at how she’s holding that sign. Looks like she’s done this before. Prostitution is a crime. Get a real job! -comment -"You buy yourself a lot of birthday cards, don't you? 😒" -"Strawberry, short, with no cake" -"Chill with the devil stare, adderall eyes" -"Be nice people, this is somebody’s grandmother." -Literally the same the dude you lost your virginity to said! -"You are the personification of the juice that comes during the first squeeze of mustard, if the bottle is not shaken." -The Ron Weasley of J.K. Rowling’s nightmares. -You come up a lot in conversations about psycho exes dont you? -"Lets do this again in 20 years when you are still single, live with 8 cats, dont shave anything, and complain about the patriarchy every day." -The weird kid from polar express grew his hair out -You make Johnny Winter look tan. -"Dead-ass eye, even for a soulless ginger." -"When dudes OD on Viagra, doctors prescribe you to counteract it." -I like that picture around the firepit with all of your friends. -A lot of drunk men have uttered similar words -My cat hacked up a hairball that looked just like you. -"I feel like ""fuck it, why not?"" Is gonna be the only reason you get human affection." -Looks like you’re challenging Kristen Stewart to an acting contest. No emotion for every situation. -That expressionless face is simply chilling. Any man you get with should expect to be pegged regularly. -Cottagecore Greta Thunburg -"come on greta, you have more important shit to do" -Pippy Longstockain’t -Greta Thuntberg's slow sister. -Can you pls ease stop making the zoolander face it’s scaring me 😂 -Somebody told you those glasses looked good. That's the toughest part. -This girl cums easy. Go at it boys -Girl please no. I get it the holidays are tough and you’re #notlikeothergirls. But please don’t subjugate yourself to a roast just so that you can for once in your life feel noticed. -"So many of these comments are genuine shit. Not even good roasts, just the same “you are a young woman therefore sex object. And ginger haha.”" -What a drunk old man says when he takes you home from the bar -Look at little ho’ on the prairie over here. -You look like the minute you consensually touch a penis you begin crying. -Waiting for a callback that will never come from the practice girl auditions. -Chappell roangun -Were you cloned off of Conan O'Brien? -This is why Ariana Grande should not have kids with that troll redhead she is currently dating -Bucolic scenes and recessive genes. -You look like you can’t get off unless the guy you’re fucking is crying. -"If they ever made an American remake of Harry Potter, you’d be the perfect Hermione. But not the clever, charming Hermione, more like the one who enforces the dress code and reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homework. That light fixture behind you? It’s not just a lamp, it’s your personality trying to escape the room. - -The Breaking Bad shirt is solid though. Nothing says “I’m edgy” like wearing a show about drugs while sitting in a bedroom that looks like Pinterest threw up in it. And that expression? Pure “my parents wouldn’t let me watch TV-14 until I was 18” vibes. Keep it up, Hermione. Gryffindor might need their hall monitor back." -"""Fuck it, why not"" - - -Same thing your parents said when you were conceived" -"Where did your eyebrows go? And where did your smile go? Jesus shit, you look like you watched your entire family get massacred…" -Your smile makes me want to be gay. -You take the ass out of Asperger's -damn who ordered mikaila murphy on shein? 😭 -"Breaking bad shirt, I would've said child of walt and jesse but that's boring" -"I hear her nagging me for some reason, def a nagger" -I refuse to roast 12 year olds. Your parents should take your phone away. -This one time at band camp... -Is is too late to stop the transition? -Those 2 neurons between you ears must only connect a couple of times a day. That’s the most vacant look I’ve seen in some he who hadn’t been lobotomized. -"Guys, really do like you for your personality..." -Your glasses do not suit your face whatsoever. Otherwise no notes. -"I was having a good day before this post , sun was shining in my red beard admiring my nice physique in the mirror, happy and confident and then I saw you . Now I just want to go bottle of brown hair dye and and cut my beard off ." -you know the rules! no water and no food after midnight! -Her glasses shrink her eyes and give her an animated look. Like a Weasley animated for cloudy with a chance of meat balls of something. -I bet you have the best parents and grew up in a great environment. So wear tee shirts about drugs you think are cool. Next thing you're fighting over duffy cigarettes in a dollar general parking lot with a baby on hip that you just dropped. Howboutdat? -Only thing I can find wrong is the fingernails being down to the nail bed. Otherwise a gorgeous girl. -"O guardian of the silent flame, your face is a mirror for those who can see what lies beyond the visible. The lamp above you may dispel the shadows, but true enlightenment comes not from without, but from the glow within. - -Hear the words of Attar: “The path to truth is like a candle - it consumes itself to give light.” May your striving not remain in the world of appearances, but fathom the depths of your heart. For the soul does not shine through external light, but through the wisdom of being, which unfolds when the ego disintegrates. - -Go, daughter of silence, with gentleness and courage into the darkness of the unknown - for there the flame of your true being will burn brightest." -Woman Sheldon -Gingers don't have souls by the looks of it. -"I have a question,I'm.. but why are you staring at the phone like that? 😭 It's creeping me.." -You look like the little mermaid if it took place off of the Jersey Shore. -"Merida if she was a tumblr, insta, and Pinterest girlie" -"Shes got that ""smells like cat piss"" vibe" -Poster child for when having too many vaccines goes wrong. -Is that your natural hair color or did somebody light a fart off of your upper lip? -🎵 stop looking at me with those eyes 👀🎵 sauce Slide 4 pic -A pampered princess who is mad at her mom for saying no to belly button piercing. -"The future doesnt seem as bright does it? Dont worry, you will fit in just fine as a porn fluffer or a monday morning stripper. Either way, go earn your pimp their money." -Why not? So you don't get roped into kiddy pron. That's why not. -"bro if u dont get ur i still see ur shadows in my room headed ass out of here - -GETT OUTTT" -Sadie Stink -You definitely give off a “but daddy I love him!” vibe. -Your face screams stage 6 clinger -"I'm expected to believe you're actually 18? - -Yeah, and Chris Hanson sings MMMbob. - -That's 2 references your parents might understand." -"Better get the Kirkland sunscreen out, or else the sun'll roast ya ass too, pippy longstockings." -I'm calling your parents. Go to bed. -Your aesthetic is adorable. You look like a sweet indie girl -https://youtu.be/KE0fLNOK4OU?feature=shared -She’s the temu version of a pumpkin spice latte…looks ok but taste like shit…🤣 -You think a lot about murdering people don't you -"Prolly what your dad said, when he left..." -"Q: Fuck it, why not? -A: With those photos, we can never tell if Chris Hansen is going to come strolling out with some questions and some LEO'S hanging in the carpark." -Is..is that I dude? -Lady virgin -"If celery was a person, it would still be more interesting than you." -"Many reasons not to fuck it. - -And just how many restraining orders do you have on you? You have the vibe of “I KNOW I can make them love me if I get a chance!!!”" -My friend said you look like you were made using the paint bucket tool -"You look like you’re trying to do the intense eye thing but you just look crazy… But hey- because you’re so young, your face will probably catch up with that nose soon… -You would definitely benefit from learning how to do makeup too. It would probably help with your crazy eyes and you could learn to make it look like there is actually an upper lip on your face. - -Lastly, and this one is not roast but honest- those particular glasses look bad on you. Please find a pair that looks cute bc those are hideous." -You look like you're made out of ketchup and mayonaise. -The title is exactly what your one night stands tell themselves when they settle for a desperate ginger. -You know all your getting from her is a bone dry hand job. Without finishing.  -You can tell a ginger virgin by the lack of freckles. Hasn’t managed to suck the soul from anyone yet. -Look like a character from Harry Potter -I just can't.... I gotta go get high now so I can't remember being here.... It just too much grats on your transitioning tho bro. -You look like you collect toenail clippings in jars -"""fuck it, why not"" exactly what she said when trying to register for only fans with the fake ID showing she's 18" -Those tiny Deadpool legs hahahahaha oh god -Time for leg day. -I think your a pretty woman!! -"get rid of the glasses. LASIK . not an insult,. but you'll be happier. - -i can tell by the refraction they aren't that strong" -"""Its not just a phase"" is a regular thing you say..." -You look like you would carve your crush’s name into your skin before ever talking to him. -Hair color is stunning. Face looks like you're permanently stunned. -Very pretty hair.wow -"She gives me Sansa Stark vibes from GOT, don't piss her off." -Beautiful 😳 -Hogwarts drop out. -Temu Sadie Sink -"No matter how terrible you think you look, there's always some guy out there who will bone you." -doesn't spit or swallow. saves. -18 going on 16. -I thought you needed to have a soul in order to be roasted... -You look like ReviewBrah's sister -"Just saw you're 18. Girl, yet yourself off this site. You are still a kid. There is nothing here that will benefit you. Let your self esteem grow before you get a bunch of L's to try n take it down. - -My roast for you is are you stupid? Putting yourself on here was fking dumb." -You look like if Lindsey Lohan and the sleep paralysis monster had a baby -"I bet you have like fifty boyfriends (or girlfriends? 🤷‍♂️- non of my business) but the point is .. you’re naturally a pretty girl so you got lucky there! - -Consider your skin tone when choosing clothes. You’re a fair skinned redhead who’s skinny so pick things like form fitting pants that taper to your waist - (that’ll really piss off the other girls) - buttoned sweater with cropped blouses. I dunno. You’re lucky kid. - -Don’t do drugs. Go easy on the store bought beverages. Don’t over caffeinate. And don’t wear RBF on purpose." -"No, I won't roast you... too young - -I'm not a meanie" -Who shrunk Greta Thunberg’s lips? -"Don’t, please don’t. You are a lovely young woman and will absolutely have no trouble finding people to share this life with. Some of these people here will absolutely try and hurt your feelings." -Your vacant stare is not helping banish the soulless ginger stereotype one bit. -"Asexual is more about other peoples’ views of you, not the other way around." -You look like luna lovegood and ginny weasly had a fuck child and it came out in the worst way possible. -Does review brah know he has a little sister? -Girl next door with a hot body. Your innocent looking face screams you are shy. Over all a very attractive girl whom we all would like to meet. -Your a hand job away from being cute -"Your definition of friendship is being free use for the bros, you get your abortions done on Saturdays because you're not allowed to carry anything. - -Your phrase when someone tell you a fact always begins with: Actually," -Mask 1985 without makeup. Idk how to post pictures -I wanna know how many of you ended up in her DM's. Lol. Ain't nothing wrong with her. -Cute ginger…. Just mess up your hair to look meaner -"The library called, -You should clock in at 8am." -You look like your one mental breakdown away from making porn -yo ass look like a albino tarantula off of 50 percocets -Eres preciosa pero nacer pelirroja te espera una vida de desgracias. -Yep you look so good baby x -You’re an Amish 2/10. -You are 100% the ugly friend that doesn't get invited to shit. -You look like you should be on a sex offender's list for women -"""Fuck it, why not"" is something you'll be hearing a lot as you grow up" -Title of your sex tape -I'd fuck the shit out of you... with the lights off. I bet you have some perky nipples too 🤷 -"You look like you’d lose your shit on anyone, over any trivial comment" -Day 3 of switching bodies with my sister.....they still havnt noticed. -Why not because you look like Conan O'Brien after his first days in altar boy for father mcfeely -Looking like bob the builder after he went trans. -Crawl back into that lake you emerged from. -Involuntary 4B member -If we roast you you're gonna look like a lobster with that pasty ass. -Your dad is Conan -It's odd how soulless is feel... -Bizarro Cousin Oliver -"Hey be nice, she does a great Trump on SNL." -"i think being ginger is bad enough, ill put you on a sunbed then you'll be so well roasted it could be considered well done" -Mudblood -If you post on amiugly more then once you already know the answer. -"She has the bitten off fingernails -Of a lesbian carpenter" -You look like the Hills have Eyes is a home video -"You know what guys feel like, because you get rejected as much as them." -"These are likely the photos the news article will use, while listing how long you kept those guys locked up after catch fishing them into the basement." -You are incrementally less attractive than a bowl of cold mashed potatoes. -Sansa Stank -Thanks for taking your helmet off for the pics -Blink. -ReportOfTheWeek food reviewer sister?? -There is no way you are 18…. -Are you Greta Thunburg? -Your first wank was to harry potter -It's Ginger and looks like Greta Thunberg....I'd go play in the road now and get it over and done with 👍 -"By the color of your hair, you already look roasted enough…" -You look like a haunting -She bears a striking resemblance to my sleep paralysis demon. -I bet you smell like a turtle aquarium. -"Every facial feature is disproportionate proportionate to the size of your head, it makes you look like a real life example of a caricature drawing…" -Barbara Streisand and Ron Howard’s love child that fell from ugly tree hitting every branch on way down. -"I am sure she has a high body count, by the I mean bodies buried in her backyard" -You look like you would make your partner wear a jesus themed chastity cage until you were married. -"‘Fuck it,why not’ is your only hope of ever losing your virginity" -Meg from Family Guy is your inspiration. -Ew ginger. -“You’ll get paid the same if you do as good a job” -"To whoever took the photos.: if ylu qre being held hostage, nod the camera vertically. If she has a gun, nod it sidewise." -Autistic? -You look at me like a aye-aye looks into the night -"Ginny weasley, available on wish" -"You look like you order from Starbucks a lot more than the average human being," -12 year olds shouldn’t be on reddit -Too bad you didnt post this BEFORE the election. Otherwise everyone would be Pro Abortion. -I bet your favorite Breaking Bad character is Skyler. -You look like some jailbait elementary schooler from Malcolm in the Middle -Snap into a slim ging! -The least favorite Weasley looking for attention again I see. -fukin daywalker -I feel pressured to insult you when youre looking at me like that😭🙏 -If transparent was a person. -"No one will ever know, or care, if the carpet matches the drapes." -Chin so weak it tries to hide -Please stop lying about your age before some poor dude goes to prison for child molestation -That's what the dad of the kid you babysit said to himself too. -Your ginger. -Ginger? If you had a soul we could meet in heaven sadly that isn't going to happen. -You have 5 missed calls from Walgreens. Your Abilify and Trazadone are both ready. -you look like you pay people to hangout with you -"Learn to smile more like in the lake pic, your resting bitch face is scary. In the final pic you have your foot turned in like you are embarrassed, surely not because of the flat stomach… must be the RBF, work on that and you will get as far in life as any ginger can." -Dumbledore granddaughter looking ass 🤣 -Temu version of Greta Thunberg... -You remind me of yogurt water -You wrote I love you to your invisible friend of 5 years. -"Hey, big fan. You were amazing as Ethel in monsters inc." -Your eyes scare me!!! -You look like you have the superpower of invisibility... but only at parties 😂😂 -You know its bad when your lawn is fake grass cuz your fire-crotch burnt the real stuff when you sit on it around a fire pit. -"“Fuck it…why not?!?” - -I bet a lot of drunk sailors say that before hooking up with you." -Is your name Neverly? -"“Fuck it, why not” get ready to hear that thrown in your direction a lot at 2am when I lights come on at the bar" -"Ironic because ‘Fuck it, why not’ were your parents most regretful last words as they decided to dismiss the abortion clinic option." -yet another possessed ginger -Life ambition is to be a Stepford Wife -You look like Greta Thunberg and Ron Weasley had a child and neither of them wanted visitation. -"Its Debbie Gallagher pre pregnancy, post pics in 6 months with the baby bump and missing baby daddy" -Glad you decided to cover your elf ears -You need SPF 3000 just to walk outside. -You look like an English teacher trying to be relevant -Let's not -"Single child, but still their least favorite. All your Christmas presents went straight to the orphanage." -"The title to your post is what 9/10 men will say to sleeping with you, but only 1 in 1000 will consider you for any relationship beyond f-buddy." -There’s someone out there ready to be your only fan. -"“Fuck it, why not” - -This is what your real dad said when your real mum asked if they should put you up for adoption." -That's what your daddy said when he met your momma -"What’s the difference between a calendar and you? -The calendar has dates" -The face of a psychopath. -Wiccan Wendy. -Haha girl! You’ve got the craziest look in your eyes -If sleep paralysis were a human. -You look like you sit alone at lunch -If I were a fish in a Pixar movie I would fear you. -If Eowyn and Gollum had a baby -Damn a basic ass white girl and have no soul -"Her future smells of desperation , loneliness , and cat piss . Forever Virgin" -Don't worry you may become more beautiful as you age. Don't count on it though. -Looks like Greta -You look like you got a twin sister you show up randomly with and ask people to play with yall -No need to roast you. God did that for us. -If your here who is your step father going to punch? -"You’re doing things people do in photos because they like them, but you have the cold, dead eyes of a lizard. I’d think you’re AI, but AI tries." -Remember… kick a ginger day is nov 20th -Based on her fourth picture I now truly believe gingers have no souls and will steal yours. -Hemorrhoid Granger -Same said the dude you lost your virginity to -Drugs are bad mmmmkkkk -Ginny Weasley? -Greta Gingerberg -"When you get married, that's what your husband will say instead of 'I do'" -Stop staring at me -You're what I like to call a 'challenging wank'. -Chris Hanson voice “take a seat” -Lay off the meth those bug eyes and forehead might implode  -"Thanks for the offer but I'm good, I'll pass" -"As a redhead, I’m offended that you made us all look at this." -"Careful Red, you’re so goddamn pale that you may end up in the burn unit with that camera flash." -Goes to a Kia dealership. Can’t buy a soul -You look like a st Jude patient who had the misfortune of getting a redhead wig -"You have no soul, I'm so sorry" -Does anyone else see a Skinwalker trying to blend in as a ginger Greta Thunberg? -How many people are you currently stalking? -You look like you turned down the opportunity to be molested -Are you wearing the underwear with the dick holes in em'? -You should stay away from churches especially the one in Salem -you look like you have no personality and believe in astrology -But how can someone with no soul stare into our souls? -BBC taker -Ginger -Those eyes are as dead as your sex life. -Ron Weasley had a sister that harry didn’t want huh -"Judging on your face, you just had a typo. 8 > 0" -Ginny measly -Looks like god already beat us to it. -Were you one of the meth babies from Breaking Bad? -"When people say some white people smell like wet dog, I think this is what they are talking about" -Your house looks nicer than you do -She needs more than just spf 50.. -When you get fired from only fans for not being of age. What the fuck is wrong with children? -"Quite the stunner, but I am a sucker for redheads/ strawberry blondes." -You look like you smell like milk. -I'd recommend chemotherapy -Roast you? That's the Sun's job. -What episode of Love on the Spectrum is this from? -18 in 6 years -Your favorite dessert is a coconut cream pie because it’s the only cream pie in your life. -Ik a red headed step child when I see one -"Sometimes women shit when they give birth, I bet your mother wishes she had taken home the shit instead" -Everyone watch out—autistic Merida wants a roasting. -"Not nearly as gross as some people on here, but that isn't saying much." -"Which is what your hoping the guy you were dancing with when the lights came on is thinking. He's not drunk enough, trust me." -Ginger Greta Thunberg -If crazy eyes was a person with a flat ass. Adding ginger to it is just terrifying honestly. -"with a big ahh forehead like that, I'm surprised you got through the doorway." -Your title is the same thing every guy you've been with said -"We should manipulate the Google algorithm so that these pictures come up whenever someone Googles ""Unfuckable,"" or ""Virgin.""" -Good to see you escaped the Villages of the Dammed. -"Eyes filled with the anger of 10,000 men, because every man she meets suddenly turns gay" -Ih8u -Sadonna -"Bad dragon called, they're still making a mold big enough for your next toy." -Max from. Stranger things do a kick flip;not going to lie your kinda hot tho lol 😭 -Asexuality is a good cover when nobody wants to fuck you in the first place. -Not going to roast you on account of your telekinetic abilities. Have a nice day miss. -"Etsy Ginny Weasley, your glasses were probably a 5 minute craft video" -comment -Beer goggles slowly wearing off through the photos -How to lose a guy in 6 pictures. -"""body by depression""" -It's supposed to be the freshman 15 not the freshman 50 -What the hell happened to the girl in the first 2 photos? Did the girl in the last few fucking eat her? -Started off half decent. What the hell happened? -What’s that first job? Taste testing lard? -Those fishnets makes your legs look like two pieces of ham -Benjamin Button meets Stephen Kings Thinner -What happened? You went from elegant to elephant -Hopefully your job is at the gym -You could’ve been the body double for Oswald Cobblepot. -"When cosmologists say everything in the universe is expanding, they apparently meant EVERYTHING." -I’m assuming you ate the girl in the first pic? -"You know, a lot of people mocking you for gaining weight, I'm assuming you lost it all, and I ***want*** to congratulate you because what you did is impressive and it ***should*** be recognized. - -You're just...still so fucking bland. A flavorless snow cone. But hey, you're a healthy flavorless snow cone that will be alone for a long, long life! So congrats!" -And by year 4 couldn't afford the meal plan! -All that extra weight and still no tits? -"The real roast is on me, because I can never un-see you in fishnet tights 😭🤮" -Would you like to supersize your order? -Good job losing the weight. Have you considered losing the face? -This is what happens when women like pizza more than they like dick -"Congrats on your $25,000 a year job that you paid $$324,000 to get." -Did you attempted to cosplay Patrick the star in the fifth picture ? -Loudest mouth in the friendship group -You have the fashion sense of SpongeBob and the body of Patrick. -You probably smile at funerals -Pet food taster? You look like you have a lot of experience. -I don’t think competitive eating competitions count as a job. -Did the new job require 75 pounds of experience? -"What’s the opposite of Ozempic? Whatever it is, that’s what you’re on." -"Somehow, you've made mom jeans look even worse." -"For God’s sake, give people a warning before pic 5." -"First job? Let me guess, fluffer?" -Depression is real! -r/femalefittofat -You should get rid of all your friends. You don’t look good with that extra 150 pounds. -"They’re called fishnets, not whalenets." -It's a doll inside a doll inside a doll inside a doll inside a doll -I'm sure you will fly up the ranks as whore to bottom bitch. -Freshman 500…..🤢 -You're what is called a moped girl. It's fun to ride until your friends see. -"Damn, you took that freshman 15 and just kept adding to it." -"Freshman 15, sophomore 30, etc." -"You’ve got a lot of gut, posting these pictures" -Only 4 year degree? Which corner you working? -"You put on the freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior 15." -I thought this was finally a good submission to r/amiuglybrutallyhonest -"The Ad below your picture on Reddit was for Hims... Designed to help with erectile dysfunction. - -Enough said." -Has the curves of a potato -So the girl from photos 3-6 ate the girl from photos 1 & 2? -Obviously food wasn’t compromised in your budget during school. Now maybe time for a gym membership. -I wish you all the luck with your new career as a dairy cow. -There will be another pic at the end but she's waiting for a NASA satellite to come into geo synchronous orbit to capture her entirety. -Did you get knocked up? -I’m sorry. If I had known swiping right would add 10pounds I would’ve stopped on the 1st pic -Are you gonna wear those FUPA jeans to your first day? -Let this be a warning to any guy thinking about marriage: In just a few years your girlfriend could go full beluga. -You look like yo chin stank🤔 -"didn't know ""the camera adds 10 pounds"" would stack" -"Picture 5: All that jelly, no toast" -This here is exactly why we go through all photos on Tinder before swiping right. -She’s like a reverse advertisement for Ozempic -Fatgirl slim -Freshman 50. Winnie the Pooh looks better. Friend in grey shirt looks better. -There are like 7 different people in these photos. -Was getting fat a requisite? -Cant hate.Glow up goes hard ngl -The pics are like a set of russian dolls. -"went from academic girl living the american dream to rotund leftist. how tf are you 22 and have a beer belly??? you ain't got SHIT on santa claus. additionally, yo eyelids so puffy they look like pussy lips. i bet you would need to take the circumference of 22 of your arms to even come close to the circumference of your stomach. you look like you write homosexual sonic the hedgehog fanfiction." -how do you get bigger each picture -"I was going to advise you to try sleeping your way to the top, but then I scrolled through the rest of your photos and I can't see it working for you" -The Freshman 50 is real -"Rapid weight gain is a usual side effect from taking the morning after pill like tic tacs. - - -Maybe try taking the load to the face next time." -So this is how Pooh met a Heffalump. -"You’re a Chinese spy, your photo of you with Xi Xinping is proof." -"Your body is proof that God doesn't exist. If he did, he wouldn't have cursed you with that thing. " -"Nah guys. I believe that the photo slide is in reverse. Let’s hope! You definitely went from smash to pass.! -She’s been exiled from her family’s Thanksgiving!" -Roasted pork for the whole village -I’d hate to see her in for more years. She already developing in to an ok strawberry. -You took your Cetology degree a little to seriosly -reminds of wide putin but wider -Scrolling through the pictures like ‘whoa what happened’  -"Wow you really started swelling up.... -So much for the freshman 15... Looks like you went with the graduating 95...." -In picture number five if those fishnet stretch anymore they're going to cut somebody's head off if they pop -And picture number four I see what happens you turned into a furry and you wanted to dress up like Winnie the Pooh.... Now that extra 170 lb makes sense -"I was going to make a joke about your first job being on the pole, but then I scrolled through the pics and said, ""DAYUM! I don't think they make poles that sturdy.""" -At least you learned that it wasn’t the weight that made you unappealing. -"Hey siri, draw me a picture of shapes." -You look ugly and pregnant through all four seasons. -"Finishing undergrad = gets fat -Cant wait to see gorlock when u start working" -"At first I was like wow she's kinda hot. -Now I will Be skipping breakfast." -Weeks until she’s on the news for kissing a student. $20 on that! -22 to 32 awfully quick… -"Not sure a fluffier at the local gloryhole counts as a job, but congrats I guess." -Photo 6 is a fucking crime scene -New tank for Ukraine -I'll have an iced caramel macchiato -The freshman 115 got her! -Damn girl. Just because you got a job in a restaurant doesn't mean you have to eat all the food -First pics on dating profile. Show up to date and tubby flapjack in the last pic is there -Congratulations on your McDonalds French fry station position... try not to eat all the profits. -"Went from slammin body and butter face, to face slammin butter." -Looks like you’re already married to your job since you’ve completely let yourself go -Did they open a Krispy Kreme by your house or something? -You look as though you will swallow more than your pride in relationships. -It’s the freshman 15 not the 4 year 50 -You make Winnie the Poo look skinny. -I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. BOOM! roasted! -"From undergrad to under your boss for a promotion. - -We know you can't be over, because you'd cripple him." -Look at that. All shiny and new. So much excitement! Now go get the boss his coffee -After the freshman 15 I guess you gain the senior 750. -Is this penultimate picture you making a Patrick cosplay? -You better wear a reflective vest at all times. Wouldn’t want a hunter thinking there’s a moose on the loose in the Krystal’s parking lot. -"It's supposed to be the freshman 15, not 150." -How's the maturnity leave -Was your first job to be the Taco Bell mouth disposable. Holy crab from cute to 380 in the blink of eye -Future ozempic user -Undergrad is that under pressure gradually eating her before the rot set in -College was not nice to you. Did you eat your way through every class? -"It's like a glow up, but it's pronounced 'blow up'" -You are not 22 years old..more like 36 -Ozempic -"No sugar in my coffee, thanks" -Damn i see like 6 different girl. Are you some clone or what is wrong with you. You look like npc from videogame. -Your photos are like a kids helium balloon over the course of a week -This photo sequence is like a before/after photo had 3 sequels that got increasingly worse. Like hellraiser. -You’re father loves you -When’s your first shift at the strip club? -Congratulations on the weight loss. You're still ugly as refried sin. -Honey I blew up the girl. -Those are not fishnet stockings in pic 5. More like manatee net stockings -Undergrad in competitive eating huh? -Tinder profile pic vs. actual pics. -Little chunky for a 4th year now aren’t we. -Is your first job as one of the exhibits at the zoo? -Your nick beam is Gummi bear -I love this new winnie the poo trailer. The new CGI is crazy realistic. -"Damn, girl, you got FAT!!! - -I assume that first job is gonna be as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade float." -Smile less Mr Ed -Swiping right is like watching a Pretty Duckling cartoon. -what the fuck happened lmao -This is definitely not Patrick -Did you have a twin and happen to eat her? -How were you that fat and still had no titties? That's a crime to society -Undergrad from fat u? -Live action Patrick! Where’s SpongeBob? -You look 32 -Each proceeding pic ate the girl before -"What happened between the 1st and the last pic? McDonald's 5 XXL meals a day, 7 days per week?" -"Next time we see, you will be on the news after sending nudes to kids in your class." -I am sorry you are that fat and don't have the redeeming factor of nice big breast. It is a cruel twist of fate to look like a boiled peeled potato no matter what you wear and a bland personality to match. -"You have never bought a weight scale in your life, only a body positivity meter, and you're trying to hit the high score." -You must have a great personality -5/6 yikes! -Everytime i swiped the images took longer to load -"You look like you would probably benefit from a stronger deodorant, regardless of what you use now….👃🏽👀?" -Winnie the Pooh lookalike -Each picture you gain 50lbs. -Like a tinder profile. First pic makes you look alright but as you swipe you just get fatter and fatter. -How unique another college girl with an ED. -You must have a good personality. -"Dang, thank the Lord you are graduating no more dorm food. Domino's is gonna miss the cash influx" -"Dang, thank the Lord you are graduating no more dorm food. Domino's is gonna miss the cash influx" -"How is it you put on at least 100 pounds in those pics, and your tits seem to deflate? Good job." -If Patrick Star was a girl.. -What’s the job? Taking up the family business running the Hutt clan? -Well at least no one will ever be able to say you slept your way to the top. -"Took that ""freshman 15"" and ran with it. Well obviously not ran with it but took it too far" -"Get on a treadmill, Pudge." -"Just because you've decided to start an only fans doesn't mean you actually have a job. You need to be successful first, not Patrick star." -"First two photos are what you get on a dating profile, last 4 are what actually show up." -A desperate handjob at a Magic the Gathering convention does not make it a career -Dammm you got huge!!!!! -"Depending on the order of those photos, you didn't major in nutrition or physical education OR you transferred to Ozempic State for your last year." -"Just because stressed spelled backward is desserts, doesn't mean you need to eat them every day." -Last pictures has more chins than chinatown -"Fat AF with no tits, 100% worthless." -I just came here to read the comments about your… umm… progress. -Jesus what is that 5th picture. -Where did you buy the red waist coat -" pregnant in college, oh wait no…." -You’re twice the amount of the same girl than I saw the first two phtotos -Jesus. Your new work colleagues will be hiding all the biscuits. -"Guys, don't roast her, she's already got enough on her plate." -Damn. Homegirl got on that OLDzempic. -This isn't tinder no need to try to trick us with the first two photos. -I had such high hopes while scrolling past first two photos. -Hope you like skinny black guys -"Blood tests show that she's *not* pregnant, but her blood type is Ragù" -Is that the grad in pic 4 that you graduated under? -"Tinder profile reads “last picture is most recent” but because you didn’t read the profile and swiped on the first pic, you now have to ghost her." -Was your undergrad school a Naval academy specializing in Gravy boats? -Congratulations! Are you having a boy or a girl? You pick out any names yet? -So sleeping your way to the top might not be an option. Plan B? -You are literally what's all wrong with you. -Jabba the Slut -Permanently pregnant -What was your major? Calories? -"It keeps getting worse the more you swipe to the next photo, would have never guessed she was 22 I thought she was in her 40s" -College must've been roooouuuuugggghhhhh -That’s the smile of a person who would think that crop was good idea while she tucked her stomach skin into highwaisted jeans. -"What was you studying, stuffing your face with food?" -You became more American as the pictures continued. -Aww. When is the baby due? -Did you eat the person who had the job before you? -"Damn girl, The freshman 15 means gaining 15 pounds, not eating 15 freshmen." -You at least look 30. -She looks like the before picture in a weight loss commercial. -Ah. Another fatty on tinder using fakes -...omg freshman 150 -"Don’t mind me, I’m just here for the roast." -you're fat as fuck -Damn she big. -Retrogressionpics should be a sub -Move more -"Marshmallow man, more like marshmallow woman" -You’re so far that you look like you just lay there and take it. -Your weight loss is amazing. How did your teeth get so much bigger though? You look like you could bite through a pineapple -"My wife thanks you for posting the fishnet pic, I won't be bothering her for sex for quite a while now." -Someone was offered the Freshman 15 but said “Double it and give it to the next person.” That next person was you. -4th year and still looks like jail bait -You look like you’re way too passionate about a topic no one asked about -I assume your Bachelor's Degree isn't in Nutrition... -Is the job at big n large? -Wow you cloned urself for the 4th pic 🤯🤯🤯🤯 -"For anyone wondering what happened to this girl.. - -Feminist brainrot happened. - -The single most destructive things to a young woman are the woke mind virus and feminism. - -It literally makes them insane, weird, and unattractive" -Did your camera switch to wide lens? -As a Corndog quality control officer. -Exactly the reason why the “No fat chicks” sticker is still necessary -Freshman 15? More like freshman 150 -More like catch 22 -"I refuse to believe those are all of the same girl, scrolling through is like watching a weight loss commercial in reverse" -Reddit put the ozempic add right below your post…. -"“Hey does this shirt make me look fat?” -No your fat makes you look fat." -"She graduated ""Magna""" -"Winnie the Foopah. - -The one picture of the whale still stuck in the fishnet seems counterproductive but colorful." -Jesus you let yourself go must be a good degree bc you definitely aren’t going to be dependent on a man….there won’t be one -Did you go to hogwarts or is this your senior year? -I thought Sea World stopped keeping whales in captivity? -"I know Winnie the Pooh, but who’s on the right?" -congrats about that -Yay another Starbucks barista! -"Madam, this is Roast Me, not Fit to Fat." -Congratulations landing the role of penguin in the new Batman movie -Congrats being in debt for the rest of your life to work at Wendy's. -Fifth pic wasn't warranted.. -Don’t marry your job. It’s already looking for someone better. -You should start “dieting and exercising” before you start your job. You didn’t gain the freshmen 50 you gained the freshmen 500. -Ah yes. The freshman 150 -The female Patrick (from SpongeBob) -That’s the look of a fourth grade reading level if I’ve ever seen one -your twin brother is so cute in pic 4! -Even Winnie the Pooh feeling slim standing next to you. -No worries about you being sexually harrassed at your job. -Biblically accurate Patrick star -Congratulation in graduating frm Fatass University. -You can till you went from normal to straight liberal in those pictures. How many protests have you been to or organized? -22F 9 months pregnant -What have you been studying… the menu?! -OnlyFan isn't a real job but kudos on the weight loss... unless the fat photos are the new photos then I'm hoping the new job isn't at the Cheesecake Factory. -Success doesn't come easy. Sometimes you gotta give a lil' head to get ahead in this world. Just pretend your new boss is your step dad and do what you do best ✌️ -Winnie the Pooh and... Winnie the Pooh -Was the Ozempic digging into your clothing budget? -Is this what happens when you get off of Ozempic?! -The timeline of Oprah. -The more I swiped the more my mouth filled with vomit 🤢 -What the fuck happened -Girl went from smash to pass by picture 3 -"You gained 20lbs every time I swiped right - -This is not an attempt at a roast, just a plain observation" -"This is like a reverse of ""brand new me""" -Body not by ozempic -My advice to you is to go on a diet so you can level back up to being a 3/10 -The Patrick costume is fitting -"Are you going to be one of these ""fit"" people I see working at Planet Fitness?" -Ya know the old saying about being a “ten at two but a two at ten?” This does not apply when you’re just a zero all around. -"For most people, the camera adds 5 lbs. For you it's clearly per photograph. That looked like a flick book of a dough rising." -"Fuck, did we go downhill, 1/6th at a time." -"Congrats on the new job, Graduation,and the weight loss😊" -Oh come on man. There’s nothing to roast… Just sayin… -"Obesity is the new norm. I don’t think it’s overeating but rather the horrible ingredients they put in our foods combined with all the prescriptions they make everyone take. Men and women alike look nothing like they did in the 50’s. Tattoos, piercings and dyed hair are commonplace yet people say they get them to be unique. Nothing unique about it. What’s unique is finding anyone without piercings, tattoos, weird hair or morbidly obese bmi" -You look like the girl at parties that has to make sure she's the noisiest and 'most fun' one to compensate in the looks department -First job as a fluffer. -It looks like first year took a bat to you and then you ate said bat. -You are proof that bullying works! -I see in the time since your graduation all you’ve done is eat. I admire your dedication -"By any chance, is your first job groundskeeping at Hogwarts?" -Did you ate your classroom? -Did you study the caloric density of food for four years? -Gorda with a Fupa . -Gross -I see we’re using the “F” liberally. -A the rate the pictures are degrading the next one will probably look like Mama June. -Welcome to the never ending pain train -Her next job is pregnancy -"Blowjob does not count as job, right ?" -Hot girl confidence but… well.. -Looks like the type of girl that gets drunk as fuck at the bar till someone finally takes her home and she let's them fuck her in the ass with her jergens lotion as lube -Are you pregnant in the last three photos? -Nozempic -I see we’ve discovered ozempic… -Would it be inappropriate to ask if she had boy or girl? -"I can’t tell if you’re 25, 35, or 45" -22 going on 42. -Boyfriend broke up with you around slide 4 -It looks like the girl in the last four pictures are the girl in the first two. -Got a job so you can afford all the donuts you've ever wanted -Can’t afford a gym pass with those student loans I see -I really like that Real life AI filter of the striper Patrick Star pic. -Largest shareholder of ozempic -You clearly know mayonnaise isn’t an instrument -This fat at 22? Damn. You are at the easiest age to be healthy. -"You look like a Russian doll, each piece contained by the next picture." -Don’t go for the MRS degree… -Who are you? The pretty dumb face girl of the two first pics or the fat lazy morbid obese from the other pics? -Freshman 15 is real folks -Jesus Christ you got fat as fuck -Once her girl friends started eating her pussy she stopped caring about looking good for the boys -Dating Profile pics vs reality. -Have you been pregnant your entire life? -Good for you! I heard Starbucks has great benefits! -Looks like about ten Freshman 15s ran a train on you at a frat party -She looks like a pansexual Patrick Star in the 5th one. Spongebob wouldn’t even smash that. -Who is the chick in the hat beside you on the 4th photo -what happened? -Human egg. -Freshman 50² -Freshman 15 gone wild! -Crop tops are a privilege not a right -You go to school in Indianapolis? You seem to have done the Indy 500 instead of the Freshman 15 -Before/after or after/before pics? -"Tell me, what does plankton taste like?" -22 and getting your first job? Talk about spoiled… I wonder how much daddy is paying for your undergrad. Must be nice. -comment -The first of its kind….a fusion of an OSHA safety video and gay porn movie. -The kids from South Park are all grown up. -The Three Spooges -Didn't the Village People use to all wear different costumes? -"Pull the air hose out of Simon Pegg’s ass, he’s about to explode!" -Post a pic of some real men and I'll let you know -Brave words coming from a bunch of skidmarks that haven't pleased a woman since they moved out of their mom's house. -Ironic that it's literally a photo of 2 incels and one kneckbeard. The cup must be out of frame. -Are the real men off camera? -We'll tell you when we see some. -"Bet you dudes split the cost of a hooker, don’t you?" -No roast needed.... Back to work boys! -I'd be surprised if there are 32 teeth between the three of you -Are the real men in the room with us right now? -While you’re taking selfies your wives are home getting banged by their brothers -"Going left to right. - -Chap 1 hasn't seen his penis in 5 years. Cops keep insisting they can't just stick a photo of it on a milk carton. - -Chap 2 pees with his trousers all the way down around his ankles. - -Chap 3 likes to watch Chap 2 sleep with his wife. Sometimes he sits in the corner, and sometimes he webcams it and does a crywank in the drivers seat of his Toyota Camry" -Oil patch chip’N’ dales -The Feastie Boys -"3 tradesmen that idolize and worship the Gay Steelmill simpsons episode……..because it was a documentary to them. - -I see an apprentice with a beard who thinks it makes him look like a journeyman. A journeyman who works 80hrs a week to support his 2 ex wives. Then there’s the welder who only comes out of his welding area when a vendor brings in doughnuts…..then takes all the doughnuts back to his welder cave and hibernates until its time to go home." -Nothing says sexual dysfunction like the two dildos on the right and impending heart attack on the left. -Y'all look like you date in the family and vote against your own best interests lol -Weirdest threesome ever -Your parents all change the subject when their friends ask about you. -Is it fun to stay at the YMCA? -"I see 3.5 men, rofl" -Y’all look like magnified sperm cells after being pooped out of some poor gal’s butthole. -Imagine doing a job that only the ugliest and dumbest of all people would ever do because they’re too ugly and dumb to get hired doing literally anything else and then calling yourself real men because of it 😂 -"The funniest thing about this, you all look like grown ass special ed kids with the incel dial turned up to 11 💀 - -And you're all about as ""masculine"" as a yeasty queef." -The Foul Monty -"Real men, who don't wipe themselves after they shit." -Didn’t realize there were so many calories in 7018 smoke. -I wonder how long it takes you guys to finish a project if it takes all 3 of you just to hold a sign -I don’t know about the two on the right but that’s Fat Bastard on the left returning to the real world after having spent his royalties from the Austin Powers films. -"We work hard, we play hard. - -*cue the music*" -Real men? All I see is two virgins and a guy going through a messy divorce -What happens in the mines stays in the mines eh? -"Hard hats, limp bizkits" -"The butcher, the baker, the in-the-butt-taker." -"""Lets see what you incels and neck beards think about some incels and neck beards""" -"Old neck folds to the left has definitely tipped his welding mask and said milady, the middle boy looks like a sexual harassing disappointment to his father that didn't want this apprenticeship but was forced to do it. And the guy on the right I have 100% seen on a night out begging people for a fag. What I'm trying to say is you all look like the type of people that make women uncomfortable." -"Oh I’d love to comment on some real men! I’ll be patiently waiting for THAT picture. - -Please mark this one NSFW, I was eating when I opened Reddit." -Low IQ employees doing what robots can do except with more bitching and moaning and will probably suffer from disability in 5 years want to call themselves “real men”……. You may or may not be an incel but your wives definitely dont get wet when they see you -What men? -I think the one guy ate the fourth guy. You know the one I'm talking about. -real men? only one of you dosnt have tits... -Craftsman butt plugs and invisible soap are the winning stocking stuffers for these boys. -I can smell the semen and stale cigarette smoke just by looking at this picture -I'm guessing there's about seven divorces between you three.  -"Looks like the local amateur drama squad playing dressup as workers. Orange looks like he spends his 8 hour shift on a lunch break. Middle is IT nerd amateur actor and sometime furry, Blue jacket seems like he watched too many Clint eastwood movies with his pulled face." -The piglet on the far left is a neckbeard.......irony. -Which offshore rig y’all plowing each other on? -"The Butcher, the Baker and the Gay Porn Creator" -"Damn, I didn’t know the gay orgy pile from South Park was a real thing, but you guys have proved me wrong!" -I'm not judging what you real men do in the showers with each other after work. Is it called a triangle jerk if it's just three dudes? -"The hills have eyes ,run !" -"Mouth breathers, all three of em" -Guy on the right has a lip full of cum probably given to him by the middle guy while the left guy watched -There are 7 domestic abuse charges in this one picture alone -"I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you guys don’t know what “incel” means, because you three look to be the very definition of the word" -Are the real men in the room with us? Hiding behind the neckbeards in the pics maybe? -"real men, where?" -"Guys, the Village People were all perverts. Try again." -I guarantee dude on the left is the one stealing everybody's lunches... -Post a picture when you fellas have finished welding them together. -and they’re all 19 -How much for the little girl? I want to buy the little girl. -Walmart version of the three stooges -"From left to right : guy 1 : visible neck beard, guy 2: needs to borrow a chin from his buddy on the left, guy 3 could be possibly be married but has never made his wife have an orgasm - -All three of you will complain about your boss and your wages for the rest of your lives but won’t actually do anything about it" -Bet you guys drink Busch beer -You all look like you smell like piss. -Yeah- you guys are studs. I'm sure you crush the pussy. Especially the Irish Pillsbury dough boy on the left. -I think the incels and neck beards have found their ancestral line. You can’t even wear PPE correctly. -Man these janitors are getting brave these days. -The three stooges reboot -"Literally a neck beard to the left in this photo of “real men”. Maybe pick a better insult. -Define a “real man”? Is it self proclaimed? Sounds more like a statement to me than a fact. Does it mean you have a dick and balls? Ok. Prove it. For all we know. You all have giant pussies. Neck beard there has a couple juicy tits. So again. Kindly define “real men”. -And don’t default to some lame political stance. What are you getting at? Hold the door open for ladies? Drive a truck? Drink Mountain Dew? Work a job you hate because “suck it up”. All emotion set to anger? Testosterone at 11? What. Exactly. Does. This. Stupid. Fucking. Statement. Mean? All men, are real men. There isn’t tiers or variations." -"Curly got fatter, Moe grew facial hair, and Larry… well, Larry’s still squirrelly lookin!" -The 3 Stooges -Holy shit it’s the three stooges! -"Real men? Because you get home dirty and smelling like ass every night? From the looks of you three I would bet money not ONE of you could get an erection on-demand. And if you do get regular sex either you're married to a woman you haven't been attracted to in 10 years, you pay for the sex OR some young girl is playing you for money. - - -I sit in an office in a financial district and likely make 30k or 40k more than you dumbasses. And I can make women cum. But......go ahead......call me incel as a cope." -All I see is the three Stooges -One on the left looks like he may eat the others eventually. -Ghostbusters?? -The Village People are back?????? -I think I know which one is stealing all the lunches -You look like incels and neck beard people -These are the kids who would shit on your highschool bathroom floor because they didn't know what a toilet was. -". . . Dude, they're one shift away from unpaid leave & cardiac arrest. Especially buddy on the left. - -I bet you guys dont even get worker's comp. Lol" -Are the real men standing behind the dirty smelly fat guys? -"Alright, where are these ""real men?""" -"I work in a factory too. One of you lives in your moms basement, one makes racist jokes and think he’s funny as fuck and one carries burgers in his pockets. I’ll never tell which one" -Child trade predators -Trio of sex offenders -Yall look like your taints stink even after you shower -"Guy on the left secretly cries at home from all the fat bullying at work, because he's not allowed to show emotion around the other ""real men"" at work" -They look like that shitty band from your hometown high school that are still looking for their first big break living in their parents basements. -The biggest insult I can dole out is that: you just know they are trump supporters that have BOTH an American flag AND a confederate flag on their 1992 pickup and don’t realize the hypocrisy and instead think they are double patriotic -"I can already tell where these guys were on January 6, 2021." -Not being an incel while simultaneously being the most unfuckable three men on the planet must be a mighty hard task -3 divorced (fat ex-wives)- Alcoholic - 'real men' -"Hardhat: check - - -Eye protection: check - - -Gloves: check - - -High viz: one out of three will survive, the other two will die from a bad case of dirty laundry - - -Hearing protection: WHAT DID YOU SAY" -"Why are you real men? Because you're fat, disgusting looking and grimy? Shut up, no one cares about your shitty paying jobs and back problems." -"It takes three guys to hold that wood. Oh shit, that’s the name of this porn isn’t it?" -"These real men know ""The best minds don't go to college. Because if you can figure out how to repair a broken machine, you can pretty much figure out anything else in life. That's why we support Donald Trump 2024. Take that, Internet neckbeards.""" -You all look like you would argue that the female orgasm is a myth -"Let’s play “See if I can guess the trade”. From left to right we have; marshmallow eaters union, apprentice for ten years union, and a fucking sparky— the worst of them all… how’d I’d do?" -It looks like a time lapse from left to right showing the effects of using meth to go to work everyday -"Porkins, stay on target!" -Dirty Mike and the boys -"Man, the Ghostbusters got old." -"Sure, where are they?" -"“Hi! I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl.”" -"Calling yourself a real man is a surefire way to let everyone know that you leave your girl drier than the Sahara desert, and less satisfied than a castrated Nun." -I see a minimum of 5 DUI's and 4 Domestic assaults in this picture. -The guy on the left looks like a Brittany or Melissa.  -"It’s literally Ed, Edd and Eddy" -"Larry, Mo and Curly!" -All three of you look like your OSHA registered and Meghans Law registered. Jesus Christ. -"They're banging, no doubt." -"Cartman, Stan, and Kyle had to grow up and get real jobs huh?" -"There were 5 guys in this photo shoot at first, but the guy on the left ate two of them." -Why is there only 1 oompa loompa in orange? -"Your wives are fat, ugly pigs." -"Sure, that sounds like fun. Do you know any?" -You can almost smell the gas station hotdogs for lunch. -Apparently real men don’t have jawlines. -Being chubby and dirty doesn't make you a real man -"According to this picture, 2 out of 3 redditors are neckbeards" -" -Dude on the left needs to lay off the Mickey D’s and Taco Bell - -Dude in the middle needs to lay off the porn and video games - -Dude on the right is behind on child support" -"If you guys were a boy band, your biggest hit would be ""Syncing Heartbeats to Power Tools.""" -What a cute thrupple. -First three on the layoff list -Porkins? -"I'll take closet cases for $500, Alex." -The cast of Hostel -Who's the incel that wrote the caption? -TIL it takes three “real men” to hold a sign. -Real men would be holding an uncut length of plate steel. -"Let me guess, all three of you are wearing panties and bras under those ""Real Men"" clothes, right? - -The only real fabricator in this picture is the one who stole that welder's soapstone to write on that steel - fabricated this whole scene. Right after this picture, you all picked up your clipboards and started whinging about lockout-tagout compliance, eh?" -Real men don't need any safety gear -"Barely, No, and Burly" -Since when did Kenny start construction? -Average non-unionized Elon Musk defenders who call themselves capitalists… -Are you here because the canary in the closet died? -Which one of you is fucking the fat guy? -Bob the builder & co 🔞 -"Let's see...sneezey, dopey and grumpy. Where are the other 4?" -Lolol thanks for the laugh. -MERICA -Safety gear is to avoid paper cuts in the office isn't it? -You may wear TIG gloves but use are no TIG welders dressed like that. State of them Carhartt’s you scruffy twat -Looks like a scene of Cuckboys 24. -"I too, did community theater at your age." -I see two neckbeards in-process in the picture. -Ace Venchurros on the left there -"Oh... i seen this video before, three dudes one shop! Gross!" -Dude in orange is literally an orange. -"It's almost hard to tell who the bottom is. -(But that little smirk gives it away.)" -Larry curly and moe -Says the neck bearded incels -Hey there! -You'll need to show us some real men so we can comment. -It’s the crackhead oompa loompahs -Real men ought to have a woman in their lives that isn't their mother. Projecting a bit with Incel... -Are the real men standing behind those barely human slouches? Where are they? -A solid combined IQ of 47 -We would but the guy on the left ate them all. -Where are the real men? -"Shemp, Moe and Larry….3 stooges" -"They'll be pig roasting their buddy after ""a hard day's work""." -Speaking of neck beards... -You spend so long on that rig that the real roasting done on 'squeal piggy' boy on the left there. Didnt know they had rednecks in the oil industry but if you good ole boys arent reenacting Deliverance every Sunday ill eat my banjo. -It's not nice to post a picture of three of your co-workers and call them incels and neck beards. -"""real men"" who put down the burgers in the lunch room just before this picture. - -Good that you dirtied yourself up so your boss doesn't suspect that it's you guys who ate all the cake while the others were working. - -If you can stay this fat your job probably ain't that physical." -Men? Why does it take 3 of you to hold the sign? -Dude on the left literally has a neck beard. Lmao -"If these are real men, I'm proud to be neckbeard" -"And they’re all wearing ostrich skin boots. - -GTFOH." -3 Dudes 1 roast! -We’re going to find out they drink Bud Light? -Who's turn is it to be in the wooden barrel with the knothole in it? -"Ok, when are the real fellas showing up? I just see three gays in cosplay" -"You all look like you're in a shitty folk-rock cover band called ""Plumpford and Sons."" Which one of you plays the washboard?" -"Dude on left seems like he got roasted enough as a kid. - -The guy in the middle acts like tough shit but is really just an asshole. - -Dude on right has similar personality to middle guy but add in a disappointment of a son/daughter" -Depending on if you read from the left or the right….. you are either evolving or devolving and the guy in the middle is doomed to always being the average one -A cheap copy of Village People for ugly blokes. -Says the incel and neckbeards -I can smell you guys from here… gross 🤮 -Run-D.M.C. if Donald Trump were the president. -a hidden threesome at its… worst -"From left to right. - -Fat Ed Sheeran - -Derek from veritasium but without college degree, talent and dumb as a box of hair - -Has a massive crush on Derek on the left and fights himself over him getting older and not being able to be who he really is currently living a horrid lie with a fat woman and kids." -Broke back mountain welding school -"Alright, show me some and I'll roast them." -Real men would never choose to be a Welder -"Put the pumpkin and hobo costumes away, too early for Halloween." -Sorry it appears there was a mirror in front of you -From left to right. Lethally high cholesterol means he won’t be with us for much longer. Dude in the middle has a meetup with Chris Hansen in his future for sure. Guy on the right absolutely has warrants and has used the “it was an open hand” defense in a domestic dispute case at least once. Every one of them lives in a house that has wheels and has at least car that doesn’t in the yard. -Real men? Looks like three boilerfakers to me hahaha -They just shovel each-others coal. -YMCA -"$700 bucks a day, free room and board and still broke AF." -Guy on the left is 100% hiding some pots of gold -Autistic Mike Rowe and his brothers. -Were you guys spelunking in each other’s assholes? -Do you guys all have We the People stickers on your lofted rusted out trucks or do you mix it up with Ttump 2024 and Blue Lives Matter -Real men don't wear that much PPE. -🎶 *IT’S RAINING MEN HALLELUJAH IT’S RAINING MEN AMEN* 🎵  -"The guy in the orange wife cheats on him with the guy in the middle. The guy in the middle is hatching a plan with the wife of the guy in the orange to have an “accident” happen. The guy on the right spends all his money on lottery tickets, online porn sites and begs his EX wife to stop dating black and spanish guys because it makes him insecure. They all drive pickup trucks, eat bologna sandwiches with mustard and go fishing but never catch anything." -New season of trailer park boys dropping soon? -"And this kids, is the perfect example of what we call ""projection""" -James Corden dressed up like famous x-wing pilot Porkins -"Alright, have your wives' send you pictures of the guys they're with while you're at work and we'll let you know. Or links to the amateur stuff they upload to Pornhub, either way." -A race to see who goes on “worker’s” comp first due to some boneheaded move by the other two. -"I have seen an exact copy of each of you at every steel shop I have ever worked at. - -Big guy looks like he drives forklift all day and embraces the ""forklift certified"" memes to a cringe degree. Probably has ""fish fear me, women want me"" posted on the back of his dodge - -The dude in the middle looks like a default character. I have seen 7 or more of you just driving around today to different construction sites. - -Guy on the right needs to quit smoking and drinking monsters for lunch. If he looks like this at 25, I can't imagine how ugly that MF is gonna be by retirement." -"I see three guys that got wet spots from tugging their balls all day. -Haven't changed their clothes in three months, and all wearing white bitch mittens." -Let us all know when they show up. -"The one on the right looks like the guy who definitely has a black belt in every martial art, took on 23 bouncers and fucked 6 pornstars. - -The one on the left looks dumb enough to believe him. - -Middle is 100% health and safety officer material." -Neck beard? He's the one in orange! -"The dirtbags of Christmas past, present, and future" -"Iron workers, eh? Low IQ/High cocaine. Looks like dude on the left administers the piss test by mouth!" -The 3 Spluges -"Men who have to say ""real men"" aren't real men" -Which Teletubbie did the fat orange guy play? -Hm not much I guess -I'll let you know what I think about real men when you show me some. -You look like you live in the septic tanks your boss cleans out -Family picture of all my moms together. Bet you had a different idea of threesome. - Look it’s little Peters big brother https://youtu.be/ycg9ea3Cdtg?si=ooz1pqUqGosh5eET -"Does it really take the three of you to lift a what, couple of pounds steel plate?" -"None of y’all look like you can weld, try again boys." -Real men? I just see 3 fat old slobs pretending to work. Now get to work! -Then why post picture of neck beard and incels? -"Aren't you supposed to earn your nickname? ""Real men"". Probably should've lead with something accurate like ""domestic abuser"", ""secretly gay"", ""meth head"". Something like that." -I’m getting a Ned Beatty in Deliverance vibe from the guy on the left. -A live action smurf movie coming up? -Nice caption. Man threw bloody meat in shark infested waters and then jumped in. -Would pity hump -"This picture has ""Chili's for happy hour after work"" written all over it" -Right after that pic you all jerked each other off -"You can be an Iron-Worker and still take a shower. - -I bet you have a ""don't step on me daddy"" sticker on your hard hat or locker. - -I bet you think Redwing Boots are the only ones that exist. - -You real men could use some real exercise." -Lol not one of these dudes looks even remotely manly. Just roll a neckbeard around in the mud and you apparently have a manly man? TIL -"You three c*nts just look like Neckbeards NGL lol - -*Edit" -Which one is Moe? -All I see is neckbeards -Can’t believe you guys took the 12min you get off a week to make a Reddit post instead of seeing your families. -Real men? The guy on the left looks like he ate them The middle guy looks blind as a bat so he hasn't seen a real man and the one on the right looks like he gets fucked by them -"Pretty cool it took three real men to figure out how to spell ""roast me"" correctly." -Real men can be pathetic and insecure but they’re not as pitiful as you lot (who appear to have shaved your neck beards for the photo) -Were the Klan uniforms dirty and you had to put on your other dirty clothes for family picture day? -Haha every dudes wife here. Every wife. The milk man. Especially that red boy. Ohh his wife's cheating 100 percent -Real men would defo hit on you kinda ladies -Real men? It looks like your wife’s are unsatisfied in bed. -Did Letterkenny and Trailer Park Boys have a crossover episode? -Considering two out of the three of you have neck beards why don’t you just ask each other? -Labourers -"Find us some real men and we’ll tell them what we think. Since we just have you in the picture, you look like you’re trying to start a Village People tribute band" -"Incel, neckbeard, real man. Projection is a bitch, eh ?" -I can't imagine there are enough brain cells to warrant wearing hard hats. -Which one of you is the Lucky Pierre tonight? -"I can smell the guy in the orange from here, and it's not just after a hard day's work." -"It takes a neck beard to know a neck beard. I’m looking at both of your chins there, orange jumpsuit." -New season of “ Practical Boomers”? -"Calls us neck beards, but that dude on the left literally can’t grow facial hair above his jawline." -Show us some first and we'll let you know -This is what happens when you start working out of highschool and dont visualize any ladder to climb in life. Imagine getting paid to do labor besides thinking. -"Tell tubby on the left everyone knows he cut holes in his jumpsuit pockets so he could play with himself all day, and tell the two pencil necks on the right to stop smiling at him while he does it." -Deep throat galactic -The 2 on the left look like redditors and the guy on the right looks like he still has a flip phone -Real men would be smoking and not wearing safety glasses -The guy on the left looks like he tried to be part of something and the other two allowed him on the picture out of pity and knowing he would be the most roasted out of the 3 -Dirty mike and the boys are moving up in the world. Its orgys in the electrical room now! -comment -"In spite of your haircut, acne, and bulbous nose, you're a Walmart seven." -The cardboard boyfriend pretty much sums it up -"You will find the perfect man someday, and make him miserable." -You currently have 5 bruises from randomly running in to shit -"I’d tell you a joke that would knock your tits off, but I guess you already heard it" -The Diary of Anne Skank -The human version of someone squeezing a toothpaste tube in the middle. -"Honestly, I would totally smash.... - - - - - - - - - - - -.....my penis with a sledgehammer before I'd put it anywhere near you." -"The ""I'm too crazy you can't handle me"" but too afraid to asked for more ketchup at a restaurant girl" -You look like a cross between Gollum and Timothée Chalamet -"You built like a broke pirate… - -Got a sunken chest and lost all your booty…" -Honestly you’re one needle away from your true potential… -"How about roast your closet , maybe reorganize that thing. Thanks for showing us your hydrogen peroxide and dirty towel collection though" -Temu version of Fiona Apple -Built like an earth worm -STOP LYING! YOU DON'T HAVE TEETH TO BRUSH YOU ANOREXIC CHESS MASTER... -being stoned all the time isn't a personality -"Guessing here but art major, living in a recently gentrified, historically minority neighborhood with a boyfriend your parents don’t like, but you still need them to support your lifestyle? Also, they could never understand you" -Safe to say you won't be hiding your drugs in your bra. -You look like you currently have at least 3 abortion charges on your credit card. -Monday Addams -What did the coroner say your cause of death was? -You seem like the kind of girl I was able to pick up at a bar in college only realizing once it was too late that your quirkiness extended to the bedroom where you laid there and stared at the ceiling and crying. -If Dazed and Confused was a person.. -If string cheese was a person. -Looks like you’re on a semen-only diet -You look like you needed to be told twice how to make a sandwich. -you look like you hook up with anyone who can restrain themselfs for 5 minutes before calling you flat -"You and your bf in the background there, have a flat as cardboard personality" -"Not here to roast. - -Pic. 5: You have very unequal pupils. - -Go get it checked out if you haven't already. It can be normal. But it could be due to a neurological condition ..." -If step sister porn used real actors -you remind me of marion in *Requiem for Dream* -You're exactly like all of the other girls -You look like your identity and personality revolve around Rupi Kaur poetry. -You already look like you’ve been torn to shreds! Jesus! -You look like on first dates you spend most of the conversation comparing anti depressant prescriptions. -Stalker -"I don't think it's normal for your pupils to be dilated to different sizes... or to be facing different directions. All kidding aside, you'd be really attractive if you changed literally everything about yourself" -"If you crave sustenance, maybe stop it with the bulimia." -I legitimately thought you were dude in the first pic wearing a skirt while popping a boner. -You are really pretty in the first picture. The one that your face is covered by the shadows. -Which character in Men in Black were you again? -Lorde × crushed Adderall = dis bish -Your nose could reach the bottom of a Pringles can -"How many times a day do you say ""I'm not like other girls.""?" -You look like you take naps during sex -You look like you forage for mushrooms that grow on your bathmat -"Ol Blue Eyes, one blue this way one blew that way" -Cartoons on Tuesdays in rehab huh?? Cool! Look at you! -You look like your family only takes you to the bbq to keep the flies off the food. -"You look like you even call the checkout person at Trader Joe’s, Daddy." -A corpse bride if I have ever seen one. -"She does get some action... according to the picture, she j@ck$ off Grimmace..." -Not even joking miosis can be a big indicator of some big problems and you should probably see a dr. -"With tits that saggy you'd think you've had 10 kids, but there ain't no one stupid to get baby trapped by you" -I like your left eye better -You look like what you would smoke crack out of -"Despite what they say, your parents can’t wait for you to get the fuck out." -"That depressive phase is really going to suck, since you’re going to have to pick up the pieces of this manic phase…" -Blink twice if you’re being trafficked— never mind we don’t care. -How did you get your eye to do that? 🤔 -I really hope you get the help you need. -There’s nothing to shred. You’re nothing but a bag of bones -"You ain't got no tits, Lt. Dan." -I think your Weird -It would be helpful if your eyes could face the same direction. -"Have faith, daddy will come home from that cigarette run someday." -U look like the type of chick that ate enough looking at food from across the room -I can’t tell if your 46 or 15 -"Whoever told you to be yourself, gave you a bad advice." -"I was going to try a roast, but then I empathized so hard with the face in photo 4. - -Feel you fam, feel you. ✊🏻" -Zoe Deschasmell. -You look like your favorite dessert is your index finger. -You’re not even half as interesting as you think you are. You’re the word “dry” in human form. -Can’t roast her more than the blow dryer did to her hair -Reminds me of somebody's little sister who is always getting in the way and has to be the center of attention. -Since you wish to looksmax so much a paperbag over your head would perform wonders -I bet those two mosquitoes that bit your chest starved to death. -"Her Tapeworm is busy, it's not Meth." -"You look like the girl every villain catches, you know the one that already got caught." -Other than a bath I'm guessing compliments are something else you don't get on a regular basis -The cardboard cutout looks better than you. -Good thinking on taking the photos after evicting the rats and birds from your hair. -Anorexia nervosa is a serious psyhological illness. -'Active in these communities' always tells a story -"You are super ugly - -For the record I'm super ugly and -my standards are low yet I would rather chop my cock off." -you got that nice heroin model look from the early 90s -You look like Annabelle would be scared at night from you -Hmm…Crackhead with purple hands. They’re doing wonderful things at rehab these days -"If your tits were the same size as your nose, that would be an improvement." -A woman with an Onision standie and built like Christian Bale in _The Machinist_ ? Stick a fork in her folks; she's already done. -Do you have a concussion in this picture -Is it a poor quality picture or are your legs really hairy? -I know autism when I see it -"You look like you have bleach, ammonia and one gas mask on standby whenever someone even slightly disrespects you" -Stray cat energy -I didn’t know step children got older. What the heck. -You look like a suicidal 14 year old boy -You know this isn't the place to cope after murdering Grimace. -Sorry but a good roast requires more meat on the bones. -"I bet people underestimate how valuable you would be in a zombie apocalypse . You need Jesus. This is where you tell me you're jewish. This will probably be the most hurtful thing to hear out of all of this,,, ur pretty cute and I like your personality." -Why is that guy in back of you levitating? -You look like the star of an Eastern European kink porno where the guy keeps his black crew socks on the entire time. -You have that look that screams 50 bull dykes have already ran through ypu -You look like that one nerdy ket addict that had a shot at a normal life with her sweet school bf but did drugs once and then turned into a drug addled prostitute instantly without much convincing -what the fuck is this first photo -You’d be the stick at any roast -You are one of those types of people who really shouldn't get stoned. Like at all -You fart during sex and you think it’s cute. -First of all quit looking at me like that -Move to LA if you’re not already here. Take a shot at acting. Sell that soul -Sorry I don't have any drugs -Nice to meet you Methany! -The human version of a grasshopper -IS THAT PAUL DANO OR AM I TRIPPING… -Stephen King is going to write your biography. -"Silly goose! Needles go in your arms, not in your cheeks!" -I love the way you look through my skull -even that cardboard cutout won't fuck you. -There's nothing we can do to her that her father hasn't already done. -"What could we focus on though? Nobody nose! - -But seriously, girl, eat a cheeseburger. You look like the Pixar lamp with a wig" -Your bf in the background looks like he buys his shoes at the clown store. -You look like every weird body skinny chick reading Jane Austen at Starbucks. -"Going to your profile, it makes sense now why you look so dirty, you're just a hippie that's had the hair laser removed" -"You look like Fiona and Flip Gallagher had a love child and let their dad, Frank, raise it." -You let your dog lick peanut butter off you -It's like Billie Eilish on smack. -I have five fingers the middle one is for you -You look like a cancer survivor that never had cancer. -You look like an adult who uses _weapons on minors_ and claims it’s self defense. -"Not gonna roast, look at the pupils in the 5th picture, that’s a sign of a neurological condition or something more serious. Wish you well OP." -I was full convinced that your balls were poking out under your skirt in the first pic until I realized those are just shorts and the lighting was weird -When you got you laser hair removal on your legs you should have gotten them to attack those caterpillars over your eyes too -I thought a sack was hanging out of the shorts in the first picture. Just the shaded part of the inside of shorts lol -"Careful, Your testicals are gonna fall out!" -I’ve seen aphids that eat more than you. -Li zan Al Gaib! -idk.. tough roast.. you're kinda cute -"I’ve never seen my sleep paralysis demon on Reddit before, usually you’re just at the foot of my head." -If you were have to get curves you’ll get corners instead （＾∇＾） -"Nah, it might be psychologically harmful to roast a pubescent boy." -I know this sub is for roasting but you have such beautiful eyes -"It’s giving trailer trash mixed with toxic relationship - -Also I’m assuming you drive an Altima" -"If I lool anything like you once I start HRT, I'm returning the fucking estrogen" -So beautiful your ugly 😭😭😭😭 I’m lying your beautiful 🥹🥹🥹 -Queen of the Lot Lizards. -The relationships you hold the closest are actually as attached as that one retina -"In spite of being a good photographer, you are not quite the girl we want. We’re looking for “cool ex” and not “psycho bihh”" -You look like you buy things before they expire -"Ugh, you're either in your rebel years of HS, or an adult who can outdrink my level of depression. Not sure which." -Get some sleep you don't have undereye bags you have undereye luggage -It's hard for me to roast women I want to see naked. You also seem to have a fun personality... and so rarely do you see a jockey+horse offspring survive. -"You seem like you passionately protest against wars, wealth inequality, climate change and gender rights for a career… - -While enjoying your nights throwing hash parties off your dad’s credit cards, slutting around and flying off to sudden holidays on your rich friend’s jets" -Foods runs away from you with that posture -"I did the math, and your hair has the same amount of grease as a large bucket of KFC. I realize that comparing you to KFC isn't really fair, because some people actually want to eat KFC." -If you added one simple thing to your diet it could help you a lot…… food -You murdered your purple dinosaur -Quit eyeballing me -Nice robe. I've seen it at every hotel I've ever stayed at. Where'd you steal it from? -"You look like you tried to do drugs, but they did you first. Like, how TF can your tits be that small and still sag that much? Why did you bother putting on makeup if you weren't going to rub some foundation into those pock marks? So much doesn't make sense here..." -You look like you’re on onlyfans -"I’ve heard of cankles, but thankles?" -Only way you’ll have a successful onlyfans is if your AC breaks. -You look like you endorse bulimia to your friends like an herbalife sales person -You have the phrenology of those medieval monastery drawings art schools use as a “not-to-do”. -"Why did you steal the belladonna drops from the eye doctor, the last guy I knew that did that OD'ed on heroin, and I'm not convinced you're not far behind." -You look like your idea of a good time would be drinking coffee in the break room of the Men in Black headquarters. -Nothing sexier than a woman shaped like the number 1. -I think you mistakenly uploaded a femboy pic (1st pic). -Whats the show in the background of the 5th pic -Stop showing us your acne please -Drugs are bad -Why do I assume you are a russian mail order bride? -"So, anorexia, right?" -Are you unhappy because the kidnappers returned you? -"Apparently, the abortion procedure wasn’t successful." -I like Tom and Jerry too ngl -Generally confused and walks around in a dazed state -If “high maintenance” and “paranoid schizophrenia” had a love (hate fuck) child… -Definitely has a snake collection. Never has a plunger though -Your face looks like one side is from one jigsaw puzzle and the other side is from another jigsaw puzzle and nature just jammed the misfitting pieces together because she was drunk at the time. -"If we're roasting you and tearing you to shreds, I just want to put than honkin' schnozz on a spit and carve off some gyros." -"You look like that ""last in the bar"" type of person and the dude that takes you home has to sit there and think about if it's worth it to let a desperate junkie into his house or just jack off. Then when he gets you home you just pass out, piss all over the bed and leave a weird, light brown stain on the pillows." -U look Jewish -Dead ringer for Tweety Bird — 75 lb head on a 20 lb body -I honestly visited your page thinking this was an OF bait -now we know what an anorexic regina spektor looks like if she was balding but still need laser hair removal. -What’s up with your one dilated pupil? -Heroin chic went out in the 80's. Eat something you bony bag of antlers. -I feel like we all just witnessed a hate crime. -Guess you never visit Oklahoma during the storms -"Your father got tired of you and started rejecting your advances, didn’t he?" -You definitely the girl people say asks for a small fry and McDouble for sum action in the mcds parking lot -You have the build of a 12 year old boy…. -🙄*unzips pants* -I've seen better tits on an IHOP menu. -Why does it look like your butt is in the front in the first photo? -You’re so flat you could be torn to shreds by a paper shredder or a pair of scissors -"I would say to remind yourself at dinner that life isn't a Sundance film, but it looks like you'll skip it. And the next one. At least stop dating guys that look like a detention desk, you can't fix them and you'll just keep getting clap" -"You look like a group project between Temu and SHEIN - -Btw D-" -"You look great from the side, just keep facing away." -"Fift photo, left iris is biger, nose bent to the right which means left side teeth are damaged or just atherosclerosis." -Very attractive recovering heroine addict. -comment -There is a whole other skull trying to push through your forehead. -This picture could be used to scare kids away from drugs. -You're holding onto that hair with the same conviction women hold onto their drinks when they see you coming. -Its the spooky omegle dookie guy -How long have you been 23? -Yeah the ladies would find that dual income from clown/crypt keeper pretty irresistible. -"Lmao, this motherfucker" -You look like the guy that trick or treaters are not allowed to go to -"Oh, no thanks, no thanks, pass, next please." -The animatronics at spirit Halloween are getting really realistic aren’t they? -You could steal any girl... with chloroform. -Maybe if you snuck up behind her and knocked her unconscious then tied her up and threw her in the back of your vw bus. But let’s be honest here…. No way anyone wouldn’t smell you coming from a thousand yards away. -Too bad you are already a YT legend that looks like the LMFAO hype man after the edibles have work off -The Rizz king uses reddit?  -You look like the kind of guy that makes a YouTube about being bald yet having rizz -That new Beetlejuice movie looks like a dud. -Brown Krusty the Clown -When were you released from Guantanamo Bay? -GooseWayne is unroastable to be honest. -The only thing you should be trying to steal is rogaine -Even you got scared when you saw yourself in the camera. -Yes you could. Chloroform and duct tape. -You literally look like my dad when he used to sneak into my room at night. -f.R.I.Z.Z -Are you Pennywise without the makeup? -Love your videos man! And that’s all I love about you -Real life Klingon -"Holy shit, seen a lot of this dude's YouTube shorts. - -Oh, ugh... You... Need to cut your hair! Take that roast" -If dude from scrubs had a baby with Gallagher -Damn bozo let himself go -The only “steal” situation you are getting is kidnapping. Gosh that hair looking like a crazy priest. -I seen this guy do his omegle rizz. Funny shit. But clearly he's already fully embraced all of that which could be used to roast him and therefore has become unroastable. Tony Hinchcliffe himself would find him to be impervious. -Rizz me up bro -"When ""stealing a girl"" involves duct tape and a van, it's called kidnapping." -you look like you troll omegle to rizz -"You look like the ""take my strong hand"" guy from Scary Movie." -You remind me of that shitty band LFMAO… but more like LWMHFO. Laughing while my hair falls off. -"Bro you make some of my favorite content on the internet. That being said, I can see the future in your crystal balld fivehead" -I'll pass. Life already roasted you enough. -23 what?!? Years in prison?!? -"You put the F in LMFAO. They're third member. - - -Is your name Redf*g - - -Or was it Sky Boof?" -Howard Stern's fired sidekick. -"Nah, my girl isn’t in to sea-creatures." -White panel van steal your girl… -oh its william shakespear -"Dude I love your shorts, the spin and riz look 🔥! I know this is Roast but your content is awesome, keep it up king!" -"You were 23, 23 years ago lol" -"Oh hey when I was browsing Youtube shorts I saw you randomly pop up in my algorithm - -And then I scooped my eyes out of my skull just to make sure that could never happen again" -They may as well declare your forehead a country  -I love this man -Your videos make me laugh. I always enjoy when they come across my feed. -The only way you could steal a girl is with candy and a white windowless van. -"Instead of stealing my girl, steal some rogaine." -"You look like your father is black and he's a dentist, and your mom looks like Taylor Swift." -Look like the type of dude to creep on girls on omegle but then with a wink and a smile steal their hearts -"If you’re looking for your father, his name is Ernie McCracken." -He looks like he is a burnt out coke addict that just left a gay club in Miami in the 80’s -"Wow, that circular bump on your head, you definitely were dropped intentionally as a baby." -Pennywise after Neutrogena Makeup Wipes -guy looks like he used to dress up as batman call himself goosewayne and would fight a crack head joker 👀 😁 -God is that you? Ima call Dr. Phil -Goose with a forehead like that you can have my girl 😂😂 love the videos 👍 -Does your forehead know the gender of the baby yet? -You look like that guy who as on doctor Phil pretending to be Batman. -You are famous for having bad hair -Dude walking around with handkerchief full of chloroform because the only way he could steal any girls -You look like the love child of an English Springer Spaniel and Gallagher. -You look like the Bollywood version of both the butler and Dwight in Scary Movie 2. -The most 43 looking 23 year old I've seen in my life. -You look like you wear thongs around new borns -I'm sure he's a registered predator in 48 states. -"Goose! Much love man. Looks like the hair eating bacteria is making it's way to your good looks bro. Need to put the mask back on. ❤️ - -Been following you for a long time, congrats on the 1 million bro!" -You look like Gallagher on meth -"Taking other dudes' fleshlights is not what ""steal your girl"" means." -By steal you mean kidnap right? -He kinda looks like Drake’s brother doesn’t he? -One sec I have seen u on Insta😭 -Nice skullet -You'd steal my girl if she was 12 and you were driving your Ford Transit. -"I can’t with this dude, he hella funny in the multiverse" -Buddy looks like he was kidnapped by the lgbt+ after being a member of isis lmao -My man the only thing you should be worrying about stealing is some rogaine -I doubt you'd be stealing any girls unless you mean by abducting them- you look like that type! -Nice skullit -You look like Andrew Tate did meth -GOOSEWAYNE!! I love your videos bro -You deff a sex offender 👀 -Is it truly the legend or an imposter? -DUDE i watch you on youtube but didn’t know you’re 23??? Im 23! yikes bro! -"That's not a fivehead, it's a fourteenhead." -23? The closest you'll get to twenty three year olds is your criminal record. -I appreciate you goose! -You look like a mix of Bruce Wayne and drake -You look like Goosewayne -"I’m guessing that by “steal you girl,” you mean physically throw her in the back of an old white van?" -Looked better with wicks -Bro the years were not kind after doctor Phil and the fiancé left you lmfao -Let me take a picture of you and see if I can find you a girl. 😂😉 That shit had me cracking up for ever. His damn face was priceless bro -Oh you surely could steal my girl and I know you have the windowless white van to do it with. -"When other dudes brag about getting ""head,"" I don't think you comprehend what they are talking about." -You put the mess in messiah -My girl isn’t a catalytic converter bro. -What’s up omegle guy -You look 40. -Why is Goose Wayne here? -Hahaaa fuck homie you probably could. Aye don’t sleep on this dude -Your hairline looks like Moses parting the Red Sea -You look like you scare little girls on Omegle. -You'll never be the real batman -You look like you would do shorts on YouTube -Your vids are funny. -Don’t walk in sunlight. You gonna blind the airplane pilots with the glare. -"I showed your photo to my 3 year-old, and he legit started crying." -Put the candy down and step away from the playground. -You look how depression feels -Get a wig and glue it on your head or just shave it all off. -You look like an unsuccessful Batman cosplayer with troubles at home so he spends all his time on Omegle. -"23?? If you told me you're 46 I would have believed you with no doubt, and thats not a roast thats a goddamn fact" -Should’ve auditioned for beetlejuice -Steal someone's girl? You look like you get bullied by the people that bullies pick on. -Real life Krosty.!! -"You could definitely steal her. And her kidneys, her corneas, liver, stomach, skin, heart etc." -You forgot to type from. Steal from. -"See guys, you no longer have to go to the doctor if you have an erection lasting 4 hours. Just look at this guys face." -You look more likely to steal meth. -Predator if he was a predator. -Maybe if you hit her with your club and dragged her back to your cave. -You look like someone I barebacked while in locked up in county. -How can you look like both the victim and the perpetrator of sexual assault? -Dropped it on the floor and now we'll never know how many licks it takes to get to the center. -When this guy gets to hell Satan will drop to his knees and pray to Jesus for salvation. -The only face on Omegle that will make a guy stop jacking off -Ay I know you. What’s up dude! -You look like a sucker 🍭 when it falls on the floor. -23 and 52 at the same time mustve been some fantastic drug abuse -It’s that bald Ahole from YouTube -"You just made my self confidence go up, thank you" -Cyraxx?? -Saw you on the yt bro no chance -23 did you mean to write 32 -You look like you belong on the black pearl -Stay the fuck away from my watermelons .. -"the only way you steal anyone's girl is if you kidnap them, dude." -"hey, kidnapping is not stealing. - How many times do I have to tell you Jimmy, kidnapping - bad." -You look like a doll that was pulled out of a fire. -"Dude, the only thing you could steal would be food off a middle school lunch tray, except you can't be within 500 feet of a school due to history with children" -andrew tate if he invented the flux capacitor -Wtf is that!!! Gallagher’s unknown sister? -Gallagher's illegitimate son? -23?! OH MY GOD -you look like Sikowitz**.** -You're 23??? Brother you look 40 -"We can't roast the great GooseWayne! - - -God already did that..." -Yo head look like a clitoris -Steal her purse? Phone? Identity? -This is a confession for his 23 kidnapping charges. -I think the girl stole your wig -Far more likely to steal catalytic converters -"If by ""steal"" your girl, you mean ""kidnapping,"" then yeah, sure." -Didn't I see you on star trek ? -"Kidnap your girl, you mean - -It's different to 'steal' - -I can believe you'll kidnap someone" -You look like a mediocre content creator that works with short form media. -Bro couldn’t even steal his hair back LMAO -You mean kidnap? -The only way you’d steal any girl is with a roofie and a burlap sack -"Hentai, not even once…" -My guy looks like excited ass hair -"That is the ugliest roughest looking 23 year old. I’m 40 and I look younger, better, and healthier shit" -Id look as traumatized as you if I had a hairline like that -23??!?!? you at least 45 😂 -"when he takes ""steal a girl"" literally" -"If someone had shown me this picture of a 23 year old man when I was 18, I would have never snorted coke." -Drugging with chloroform is not stealing.... -This man is legally required to stay 500ft away from people who are legally required to stay 500ft away from schools. -You’re what Andrew Tate is supposed to look like -"I see you, Gallagher, trolling Reddit for jokes to use at open mic night again." -The shirt says Rizz but the hairline says you’re not allowed within 100 feet of a playground. -So Ron Jeremy has a son? -Gallagher And Andrew Tate’s love child -Stealing a girl doesn't mean a tranquilizer and the back of a van. -I like that fake bald head cap with the stringy hair. You can be the bouncer at my next jerk off party. -If covid had a face.. -You single handedly ended Omegle because you are so creepy -Hmm. Gallagher screwed something other than all those watermelons. -OMG IT’S DRAKE -You look like Dr. pimple popper extracted you. -Dude I watch your videos all the time with my kids I love you 😭 -"How can someone look so masculine, yet so feminine -So hot, yet so ugly - -I think i need therapy after seeing this" -Calm down guys i dont think he saw his picture -fellas get yourself a girl that will stick with you as fiercely as this guy sticks by his hair -"When we say “steal your girl” we don’t mean ruffie and kidnap her. - -Where would you steal her off to? The crack head burning man in the alley behind Best Buy? - -You look like the stunt man of the third henchmen in a B action movie. You know the one they set on fire. - -You are 23? That is the story you are going with? You age like you made a bad decision at the end of an Indiana Jones movie." -Ok beatlejuice -Steal some hair -I'm more scared about you stealing my hairline than my girl -"If you stealing any girl they are probably unemployed and just want some of that influencer money. You busted as all get out, very funny, but outrageously busted." -"He could swoop her right up, with his strong hand." -Why’re you everywhere?!! 😭😭😭 -"He is a famous YouTuber with over 1,000,000 subscribers" -You look like Beetlejuice -You’d be lucky to steal a bar of soap -Chloroform and a van is not what ���stealing” someone’s girl means! -Did your Dad have a job smashing watermelons with a mallet? -comment -"can i have a photo to put on my mantelpiece,, just to keep the kids away from the fire" -When all your genetics are recessive. -"Lower case ear, capital eye, lower case eye, capital ear" -Do you have a portrait of yourself in the attic becoming more attractive? -"I bet you are known around your trailer park as ""the weasel""" -It’d disturbing how a guy can look like both the perpetrator and victim of a child sex ring. -Your eyes give off “come on man I’ll suck yo dick” vibes… -How could your ego possibly be big? -Whose pubes are on your face? -No one give this guy a sock and set him free. -Pete Davidsons cracked out gay for pay brother. -Meth has really taken the piss out or Frankie Muniz -Is this like a Make-a-Wish thing? -You look like Gollum if he pawned the one ring for heroin money. -Hows retirement? Do you still keep in touch with Stimpy? -"Yes, I bet you have heard it all. - -""Sir please put your hands behind your back."" -""Please rise."" -""Sentenced for possession"" -""You sure got a purdy mouth, boy."" -Etc." -Malcolm In The Middle Of The Homeless Shelter. -You will not find the extra chromosomes in the semen you swallow. -Was your mother _ever_ sober during the pregnancy? -“My precious!” -"“I am proud of you, son” - -I bet you never heard that one." -That's a bold T-shirt to wear for your government mandated sex offender registry picture. -Holy shit is that jesse Pinkman with a malnourishment issue -Jeffrey Dahmer would have hard passed. -gollum after rehabs -I bet you're lazier than your left eye -If I saw you in my house I would call Orkin. -Your mom must have drank like a fish. -You look like an ugly Steve Buscemi. -"Second line of t-shirt behind the paper  - -“All Night For $12”" -You look 16 and 56 at the same time -You look like you collect other people's farts. -Got dayum Patches! My 19yr brother has a full beard n we’re Asian! -"We made a baby, Frodo. A Baby!" -I can’t believe you would break into someone’s home just to take this picture -"Pete davidson's tumor, he had scraped off 28 years ago." -He lives in the wall behind him -Malcolm on the bottom -You look like a disabled Pete Davidson. - Vitamin D- -What 29 years of being on meth does to 28 year olds… -"What’s the difference between this dude and a catfish? - -One has whiskers and stinks… the other is a fish." -Ego makes up for penis -Can’t tell if you have pink eye or stink eye -I want to bully you -This is what too much inter dimensional travel with your grandpa does to you -Too bad the hanger didn’t do the job but it fucked you up real good. God damn. -Guys I didn't know Carl Ghallagar made a baby with Gollum!! -I know your ego is big but could you take a second to point me towards the yellow brick road -Malcom in the meth house -"Why are you standing around , get back in the tree and make some fucking cookies" -RICKITY CRICKET -One eye looks a little .... unemployed -_- -"You've done it all, too." -Pete Davidson? -"You look like you’ve escaped the gas chamber, only to have contracted aids." -Looks like young wilem Defoe but if his face was dragged across concrete -Looks like you got punched in the face. Also looks like your face is punchable af. -White trash Pete Davidson -Beat Davidson -You look like Pete Davidson if he never got famous or sober -he looks like the kinda guy to have 2 kids to 3 baby mums -"""My ego is big"" - -... Why tho" -Not as big as ur forehead -Ops face is proof that coathangers are not a contraceptive -You make Pete Davidson look handsome -"With ears that big, I’d bet there’s very little you don’t hear" -"No, fuck you." -You look like the kind of guy that would scrape the hash from underneath his fingernails and put it in a joint to smoke -I bet your mother bought you that t-shirt. -When crohns meets meth. It’s never pretty. -I'm impressed with how each side of your face looks like a separate pics taken 15 years apart. -Fucking cricket! -Bro looks like Great Value brand Pete Davidson. -I heard dueling banjos when I saw your face -"""You've heard it all"" yeah no shit, how could you not." -Crickeeeeet! -"You're not wearing your bathrobe, McPoyle." -You look roasted already -"Bro's face passes for a solid password, special characters and all" -"He looks like Pete Davidson playing Rami Malik while playing Freddy Mercury, but on Freddy Mercury's last day when he died from AIDS." -Holy shit..Steve buscemi and Pete Davidson had a kid -"the dude from breaking bad - - -when he uses ALL the drugs" -"If pasty had a brand spokesperson, it would be this guy 👆👆!" -"you look like your favourite food, hobby, and relaxation method is meth" -Stop winking me u one big eared cutie -"You share used condoms with your neighbors. Who also happen to live in a tent in your back yard. Or vice versa. Either way, get some help." -You look like a shady GTA character -Homeless I'mAlex -I don't know if you're searching for a ring or a sock! -I am sure his left ear can pick up radio signals -You've got quite an ego for a boy with a body made of hangers. -Don’t think we should provoke this is guy. Who knows what he’s capable of doing -Are you one of those people under the stairs? -I feel like if I leave you out of my sights long enough my catalytic converter will disappear. -28?!? Got dayum “son” -You missed a spot when you were cleaning around your chun and upper lip from that time you got tarred and feathered. -The shirt is the least offensive part of your look. -Steve Buscemi + Don Knotts you in 30 years -Pete Davidson + Steve buscemi + meth = you -You look like a virgin by force -Steve Buscemi and Pete Davidson split their genes and had a love child from Stifler’s mom… -You look like milo oblong -You look like regular sized Rudy turned to life of crime..and meth. -"I've seen so many useless fucks around St. Louis that look exactly like you. They hang out in black neighborhoods hoping somebody will teach them how to rap or steal a ""Cadillac converter."" In any case, how close are you and Frodo to Mordor?" -You look like an apprentice peodo pirate looking through a telescope with one eye open one shut. -Pete Davidson after nine months with Kim Kardashian 😬 -Fuck cancer -You look like the unlucky child of Pete Davidson and Carl from shameless. -"Jesse, we need to cook pcp instead of meth" -You look like a jackass stunt gone wrong. -You look like Steve Buscemi slash Macaulay Culkin. -28? More like 48 -You weird -You're the brother Gollum keeps in his basement. -When Hobbits get AIDS. -Alternate Anakin today when Qui-Gon didn't save him in Ep I. -"Cross between gollum and a leprechaun, sitting at the bus stop outside a needle-use safe place clinic." -Ceo of crackheads -Merry Brandybuck has fallen on hard times. -VH1 Presents Where Are They Now: Quiznos meth Hamsters -It’s nice for Pete Davidson to see what meth could do to him without actually doing it -Ever find your ring Gollum? -Nice job keeping sober gollum! -Shouldn't you be out traveling with hobbits? -Mr. Robot with extra chromosomes. -It’s like if Charlie Hunnam was a meth tweaker -“My precious” 💀 -Looks like “rehab” is going well for Pete Davidson… - if Ellijah Wood got Smeagle pregnant you’d be their baby -“Master has given Dobby a crack pipe…” -Pete Davidson’s aborted fetus -Were you scared when Hanson told you to have a seat or were you too star struck to realize what was happening? -The face you make when your parents are siblings -Dude is what it would look like if Pete Davidson played Gollum -"""I've heard it all"" - -We can tell. - -Now are you Frankie Munez ordered off of Wish or Temu?" -I didn't know temu sold Pete Davidson. -Crystal Methew is 28 looking like he's 58 with 2 ex wives 5 child supports and drinks Natty Daddys out of paper bag after work -When did Gollum and Pete Davidson have a kid??? -If Gollum grew some hair. -It’s like if Pete Davidson took up smoking at age 6 to stunt his growth -Looks like Gollum enrolled in a positivity seminar. -"I don't use the term Crack Weasel lightly, but..." -"“Now, you’re telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?”" -"You look like Plank from ""Ed, Edd and Eddy""" -When you reach the point of using meth when you still got time to quit and turn it around but the physical effects is starting to show but not overtake just yet. -Methed out Frankie Muniz. -You look like the kinda guy who goes to prison because he enjoys the sex. -Life's already roasted you enough -You look like one of Pete Davidson’s cum rags that somehow grew to become a humane. -Pete Davison had a kid with Steve-O -I've seen better facial symmetry from stroke victims -This boy lost the stripes on his pajamas -You built like a lowercase letter -When people say Pete Davis is hot yet this is all I can see. -your actually....kinda cute -You look like Pete Davis with a missing chromosome. -Joe Dirt scrappy ass beard 🤣 -HEY LOOK THATS CARL GALLAGH- oh no its just Frank’s long lost kid -28 and you still can't shave properly -Not as big as his addiction to his precious... Meth. -Do the parents of this 12 year old boy know he’s posting pictures of himself on the internet ? -Damn looking like an inbred version of Pete Davidson -You look like you’d call a crack rock your precious -What you get when you order Pete Davidson from Wish -Pete Davison and Froto had a baby? -Human incel version of Gollum. 😂😂😂 -You look like a failed abortion of the YouTuber imAlex -"That’s methed up guys, be nice…" -"It's so sad to see, when the rabies has progressed to the second stage. Best to just put it out of its misery." -I think Chris Hansen already roasted you enough. -Smigel if he had good nutrition growing up. - what real life jesse from breaking bad would look like -If your face isn’t even symmetrical I don’t know why you aren’t humble to begin with -His family tree is a circle. -"Boy looking like that nigga from the lord of the rings that's says ""my precious"" ." -Still looking for the nasty Hobbitses? -He's the baby you'd get if Schmeigel butt-fucked Steve Buscemi -A mix out of Golum and Pete Davidson -Didn't know Smeagol had a brother -You look like the Culkins used their powers combined to form Captain Heroin. -I can smell this photo and it makes me want to puke -Dude looks like Willem DeBroke. -You remind me of Cricket from IASIP -Shave brother -Why do you look familiar? Are you a wintonite or a mecedian? Have you ever drank at the water? -You went into the gene pool when the lifeguard was off duty -This chick looks like she just got out on bond from the storming the capitol incident.. -"Imma be the odd one out, i actually find you kinda handsome lol 🤷🏾‍♀️" -You look like the crackhead version of Eminem -you kind of look like rickety cricket -Thank you for the comprehensive list of big things about you. -I’ll bet That shirt is what you tell the irs every year. -"Maybe you're just trying to compensate for something with your ""BIG EGO""." -If Ren from Ren and Stimpy was a person -Ah if syphilis had a face -Big ego?? Shut ur little 4 foot 11 ass up .. -At least you’re not a trans -comment -So the STI you got last year came back? -Goes to Starbucks twice a day but has never had a cup of coffee in her entire life -Even sororities have to recruit grenades. -The closest you have been to having a boyfriend is hiding in the closet while your roommates get railed -You look like one of those kids books where they can mix and match different torsos and legs -Nice way to announce you have a tape worm 🪱 -I didn’t know elven men could grow a mustache -You’ve definitely put on your freshman 50 lbs. -If you were a character in Little Red Riding Hood you'd be the brick house. -You masturbate with your roommates Sonicare... yet your snatch is far from minty clean. -Are you in hospital because someone called you sir and you burnt out your trigger powers or did the crystals fail? -"19? - -I’ve dated older women that looked younger than you." -What the fuck does that even mean. You know people have no fucking clue what you are talking about right. -You’re not making anyone lose No Nut November -"Ah yes, another big beefy girl who thinks she's petite." -Idk what the fuck you do with your life. These pictures are all over.. are you a dude? Did you make a sandwich wrong? -You know when you look at a girl and you can just tell she’s a squirter… -You look like you’ve bought at least two dildo at a Renaissance festival -Any STD’s you can’t spell? -"You kind of look like Elizabeth Shue. - - -Sorry autocorrect fucked me up. Elizabeth's shoe, the last time she stepped in dog shit." -""" I.. I.. changed my address and phone number.. how the hell did you find me""" -Pics 2&5 got crazy eyes -Too bad such nice tits are attached to an ugly woman -Are these pics of you in a psych ward? -"Perhaps you’re not crying because you haven’t really looked at your ass from behind. - -Do you know how your last couple of partners, plus your brother, have all asked you to stand behind the kitchen island? It is that they still want to look at you with some sort of attraction. - -Wait until they start handing you large paper bags." -John Transvolta -Keep going girl! I know your spirit is as strong as your jawline.  -"After scrolling through your pictures ,I'm gonna be honest I thought you were a hooker that got beat up, then went right on back hooking." -Still not crying? Still stacking on the pounds though . -She broke the hot/crazy matrix. She’s a 4 but an 8 on the crazy scale. -You look like you're the hire in a movie as a background lesbian couple that serves no absoloute reason except to give the studio some extra few brownie points. -Your transition is going well. A few more dozen rounds of estrogen treatments and you will practically pass for a real female. -"You look like the kind of girl that says""What's shakin' turkey bacon""" -Were they draining the fat out of your legs? You put the stocky in stockings y do you try? -"For the love of mercy, why didn't you quit with pics 2,3 and 5? You really think the elfin ears help your case?" -still trying to figure out which way the transition surgery is going. Is it M2F or F2M? -First known case of self given staph infection. -"It doesn’t matter how many people you bring in to have us deflect, we’re still going to make fun of your man brows" -Says she's not alone... she's got at least 4 cats and a dozen different personalities to keep her company -"Who are you kidding or trying to fool here?? You absolutely cry every single time you hear the opening piano keys of MCR - Welcome To The Black Parade""" -You look mid-thirties. -What happened to your face in the last picture? Did your mirror retaliate? -lol oh damn those last two photos took a turn -"Sometimes I can drink enough for someone to be hot, but in your case, I’ll end up blacking out." -Fuck I feel sorry for whoever you trick into marrying you. You’re a goddamn walking problem -Another top tier practice girl -"You’re an anime convention 10, and a hard closing time 5 at the local bar in any town with under 20,000 residents that is also in the throes of a severe opioid crisis" -"Good for you, just looking at you I can tell you can take it on that chin. That chin can withstand anything." -Those freshman 15 look like they weren't alone -The good news is with a body like that you'll be the one handing out regrets not taking them. -There’s no tears coming out because they don’t want to have to see your face -Your eyebrows make you look like you speak for the trees -Clean ur dirty ass room -Congrats you have **Keratoconjunctivitis** -"So, you didn't get into sorority then?" -"Fellas, this is what we call a depreciating asset." -"Bro bust a nut on her face so hard, it left a bullet wound." -A year since your transition and haven't cried yet? You must be in some good drugs still then cause once you sober up from them you'll be bawlin after ya see what they did to ya. -Tatanka -So you made friends with your other personalities. I’d say I’m proud of you but I’m not. -You bust your head but tell people you got a hicky on your face -fraternity guys target people like you. -"Ah yes, I see you brought a good sized gunt this time." -I'm guessing that 40 is the new 19? -What happened dear? -"You’re a cute girl, what’s the dealio?" -"Where's Scooby, Shaggy?" -You’d be hotter knocked up -"Oh, look at you, the ultimate multitasker. One AirPod in, just in case the universe dares to call while you’re clearly too busy perfecting your “I woke up like this” selfie game. That maroon hoodie really screams “I’ve given up, but in a trendy way.” - -And that phone case? The sparkly burst design paired with a mystery piece of tape. Are you a minimalist or just holding onto a tiny piece of duct tape in case of emergencies? The cluttered backdrop is an artistic choice, I assume. Nothing screams aesthetic goals quite like snack remnants and half-empty cans sharing the limelight with your orange-handled hairbrush. - -The string lights in the background really add a touch of whimsy. It’s giving “Pinterest, but make it procrastination.” And that pink wristband? Bold move. Nothing complements a semi-clean food container like a pop of bubblegum fashion. - -But hey, you’re living your best “functional chaos” life, and we’re all just here taking notes. Absolute icon." -Fake tits ah -"Enough, David! The breast operation may have been a success but you still look like a dude with long hair." -"You look 9 and 90 at the same fucking time -You look like you have at least 5 dui's -You look like Chris from Mr beast. -Your shit looks like if I took someone straight out of an anime -You look like Chris Hanson's best friend" -Jerk off with glue again? -How many live inside of you? -Butch -The only way for you to get the attention you crave is to land up in hospital.  -Only you could turn slutty Halloween costumes meh. -We don't need 8 fucking pictures of you to know that your self centered -"There’s no need to roast you, judging by that nose most of your ancestors were roasted in WW2" -Give your mirror a deserved break from having to deal with your reflection -I would love you to come over and enjoy my cock and enjoy my girlfriend and enjoy the rest of the day and night with us -Lonely fans -I like the little red riding hood picture. -#5🔥 -Congratulations on your transition!!! -I literally saw the girl from photo 7 one post above -You look like a person who doesn’t own a pet because you think leaving them for work is neglect  -If Amber Heard and John Travolta had an angsty cringe daughter -You look like you've slept with at least 48 men. -"You look like you’d be a half decent fuck, if you actually put forth effort and didn’t just lay there like a dead fish." -Her toes are the most fukable part of her and they’re still pretty fucked up. -Those eyebrows are thiccc -"Those poke marks on your face say ""Why so serious?"" - - -Those fat hips and thighs don't say anything. It would be impossible to hear over the shaking of the earth when you start jogging" -Guys stay away from your roommates so they don’t have to deal with you -How in fuck's sake did you get a rugburn on your face? Scissoring accident Im guessing -The girl the hot ones bring around to make themselves feel better… -Your surgeon did a pretty good job with the sex change operation 🤌 -Classic scumbag cum dumpster -"Your boyfirend's friends console him by saying, ""I bet she cleans up real good.""" -Looks like little red riding hood are the wolf -My what big tits you have... i mean eyes... well shit. Everything about you is big. -"What the hell is that on your head?? Gross!! Oh, looks like you got a pretty bad gash, too, ouch" -Take a selfie of your face. That'll make you cry. -You look like the girl who does her math homework during lunch period -We need to start limiting photos. This isn’t instagram. -It has been a while since I seen such self restraint. You waited a whole year and still haven't started an OF account yet. I give it another year before crushing debt forces you to. -Lord of the Clings -You're friends with the sorority fridge? -That mark on her face is where the ugly stick hit her. -Poster child for noloxone. -Looks like you transitioned to female after transitioning to a male after transitioning from a female after transitioning from a male… -When did you transition? -These pics are like a standard deviation curve. Starts of low then high then back to low -You could smoke a cigar in the rain with that schnoz. -Were you born male??? -Ok bro we see the Adam's apple -19M ? -Trump won -Turning your head strategically to the side in every photo isn't hiding that double chin. -The Little Fat Riding Hood picture creeps me out. -"Going to an ER, having one lame ass friend and stupid costumes, you are a textbook definition of a dumb girl." -Damn. Those thighs are like tree trunks. Lose weight now or get used to Newports and no child support. -“I don’t normally waste time online but when I do eyebrows” -Gross -The Vulcan ears represent being overly optimistic. Vulcans mate once every seven years.  -"I can fix her - - -. - - -Oh, wait -- even the hospital couldn't " -You look like you went to Howard University during election night and left disappointed. -You can definitely identify as 19. What you can't do is convince us you're not a 42 year old crack whore who admits itself into a hospital to gain attention. -You look like you love to get drunk and beat your boyfriend at social events. -handsome woman. if your face had anymore dimples you could be a golf ball for halloween 🤷🏻‍♀️ -You’re my most favorite lesbian slut. 👍 -Please do not respond to this post. 🚫⏸️😁 -Definitely has more guys friends than girl friends -"With that face you shouldn't be crying -You should be dieing 😂😂😂" -"You are like the temperature,day by day you are expanding.." -If you were a hooker I'd ask you if you had change for a five. -You look like if putting crystals in your vagina was a person. -You look like a dude -I respect intersex people but I hate it when you they introduce as female. Don't do it again. -I mean you wouldn't be crying because your eyes look so dead inside already -"""Peter Griffin upgrades to lois after dumping her bigger nosed little sister 1 year ago""" -You partially aborted at 79 months old -One night stand material then bail. -"You look like you smell like saddle polish and hay, but don’t ride horses. You look like you go to a pizza place and somehow end up with spinach stuck in your teeth. You look like you wash your toys in the communal dishwasher." -Am I the only one who thinks this is a dude? -did you get your dick cut off? -You’re miasing an earpod -You're the default female character. -"You are a little overweight now.. it's only gonna get worse for you. Get married now because in five years, nobody will want that fat of an ass." -Out or rehab again? Hope to see you soon -"I feel like you have lost people that you wish were still in your life. Not just a significant other, but people who have crossed over. I'm not a roaster, I'm a reader." -Looks like you've been told once to talk less.. -Were you in the hospital cause someone had to ask you twice? -Holy eastern bloc eyebrows! Do you not own a weed wacker? -"Excuse me, your balls are showing" -Is pic #4 your boyfriend? Yikes -You’re going to die young so make the most out of your life. Nothing I can say can top how short your life is -"From now on, your pairing will be officially known as Roast Beef and Hollandaise Sauce" -Cute dress in 5! Where did you get it? -"The one ""hot"" photo you have is so countered by the other terrible ones it now makes me question my own sexuality." -I bet your farts smell like molded soup -"The hospital pic Threw me off, are you having male to female surgery or female to male?" -......like on a spitfire? -Where’s the link? -"If you actually are a female, you definitely leave your used tampons on the floor at a public restroom. Don't even argue." -"I looked at your pics first and thought based on your weight that you were at least 29, but then I saw you are only 19. My god woman, you are destined to be on my 600 lb life." -"A year since what? Way to not explain things properly, moron." -You look like you’ve done night shift duty at the hotel reception for the last thirty years or so. -You look like a troll hooker -Hold on Princess... what were you in the hospital for? I see an IV and EKG wires? -What's on your chest in the elf photo? -All the last pic tells me is that you don't listen very well -Just shows your tits now we all know you’re headed for the pole anyways. -"My lord and Savior Jesus Christ, bless this woman who is currently hospitalized, struggling between life and death over a medical condition that I cannot name. But I remember that through you, nothing is impossible, and I ask if you to get her up and walking, fully healed, in the mighty name of your son Jesus Christ who you sent to pay for our sins. God, glory be to you forever, and that our praise to you reaches longer than time itself. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray for your well-being, Amen. - -I now command, your illness to leave you, never to return. That you may be fully healed of any disease or medical conditions. Let this command be carried out in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen." -Well at least your father sleeps well at night knowing you're not getting d!cked -Just here to see how big her nipples are. -She is actually not bad beside the nose. 😂😂 Imagine the back shot...... -"1st pic is decent, but somehow every picturte after that got worse and worse." -"I can totally tell you're not alone! - -How many weeks are you and when's the due date?" -The big nose 👃 and the Adams apple gives it a way BRO -You deserve to be alone. -I roasted your friend before can you please tell her to not be such a pain in the arse -"You pretend to be drunk at frat parties in the hopes that someone takes advantage of you but still go home alone. I’m just kidding, your only friend is the foreign exchange student, you don’t party." -"Wow, that picture from your vaginoplasty is bold. That looks like a sketch place to have it done. Hopefully they saved enough foreskin so you can help bring back Nip/Tuck." -"Thanks to your picture #4, we can all confirm that the only bed you’ll ever be invited for is a hospital one. 😊" -Do you want a role for a sequel of Cats? Would save us a lot of CGI. -You could deep fry an elephant with the amount of grease in your hair -It's been a year since what? -So let me get this straight… mommy and daddy didn’t give you enough attention so you went to your uncle who gave you a lot of attention but got arrested for things you can’t talk about. Now you go to Reddit to get attention from strangers on the internet in the hopes to get unsolicited dick pics? Yeah very classy. Good luck with the next abusive relationship -You were hotter a year ago. The STI and 100 dicks did not help year cause - Ugly stepsister from Shrek? -I’ve seen what I’d look like as a woman and I’d still pick me over you. -I don’t feel like putting you in a stretcher again 🥊 -No Nut November has never been easier. -Are u OK now ? -You have enough foundation on your face to help save the world trade centre -19?! You look like you drive a minivan and do paint -n- sips. -You’re hot af and I want to marry you. Fuck you -Mike Leach... the coach from Tech... He was definitely talking about you. -I am sorry that you went to the hospital for lameitits. I see they were not able to cure you. Thoughts and prayers. -This practice girl doesn't yet know she's a practice girl. -All pics look like generated by the first artificial intelligence in 2019. -Your legs look like two huge rolls of bread dough..your whole shape does with a face of mashed potatoes -Did you take a foam sword to the face at the LARP practice? -Hey there Mrs. Potato Head -Onlyjayus -"Maybe you’re not crying because you’re not smart enough to process all that happened this year, and how many great opportunities you missed out on…" -You and your friend did a pact to post on here (I just saw ur friends post) thinking it’s gonna be funny put now ur both defintly sobbing -I hope the weather finds you in good health 🙏 -"Why are you talking like we should remember you? You’re the amalgamation of every white practice girl. - -Big enough to pull with minimal effort, but close enough to proportionate that one could imagine a hot girl over you while ass you’re up." -That towel rack is a disgrace and it’s all your fault. -Dobra si maco -"You’ve got nothing to cry about. The great thing about no one wanting you, is no one will miss you. I am sure your parents can relate ." -I guess you can get a trans elf? -Nice tits but it’s quite obvious that you’re going to be fat. Enjoy looking decent while it lasts. -You look like you pay people to check out your OF account - You look best when you’re sick -After about 9 beers I might not see a problem -Its sad that they attached a great rack on a body with that face. Kinda like putting a bumper sticker on a Mercedes Benz -You have male eyes. -Tries to look slutty for Halloween.. still unwanted. -Will never be loved -damn you gained a lot of weight since last time. -You look like barbie after a gutter grenade blew her world apart! -You look like the kinda girl that lets the absolute bottom of the barrel men treat her like shit -you lowk look like the guy that apparently everyone has seen in their nightmares -Manly Henderson -"Post Op, used to be named Troy" -"This is what you get when you don't get told ""I love you"" enough as a child, future ebaum's world amateur porn actor" -Sandwich artist in training. -You look like my future ex wife. ΟΔΗ -"In that pic you posted of you on the hospital gurney earing the black and green check pants, you look very much like Billie Eilish. - -Does your income compare favourably with that of Billie Eilish, or are you just a failed Billie Eilish look-alike with no real prospects for success or happiness?" -What a lovely piglet ! Almost make me think about zoophilie -Your face legit looks like a man. Are you trans? -"Aah I see! -Last time you did not meet your Oger yet Fiona - -Bad choice! - -Just as bad as the stuff you've been gulping and churning down your throat. -You already where not a princess. - -But hey maybe that was your goal..." -The mushroom print on the side of your face says it all… -You fat...don't sugar coat it cause you will eat that too! -Men don’t cry. -This time you're pregnant? When is it due? Tomorrow? -You still play Words With Friends even though you haven’t won a game since the pandemic -"Even the hospital won't take you out, that's how single you look." -"If you were a Super hero, your name would be Plain Jane." -YOU WENT TO MY SCHOOL -Goerga? -BRODYS SISTER -Why would you wanna cry tho -You look like Snow White after eating the seven dwarfs. -"Thanks for mentioning 19F, I thought it was 32M" -Worthless piece of fuckmeat aren’t you? -All jokes aside she's hot -❤️👌 -"You’re hot but in a 45 yo divorced mom of 3 kinda way. Like if I were in my 50s and overweight and divorced and then I saw you, I’d totally think I could get that." -I bet loads of people have taken one for the team for you. -"Lol, since you both posted on this, I will say, you're the better of the two, even with the rug burn on your face. Next time you do doggie anal, don't use your face to support yourself." -"God: How big do you want your nose? -Me: YES" -Cute face but in need of a labiaplasty -How much foundation did you use to cover your 5 o'clock shadow? -Aren’t you two in the same sorority? -I feel sorry for your wings -"U have a joker face, loving but with time a whole world of psycho in you" -Wow i've of women so ugly they look like they got hit with a hot bag of nickles but i've never seen one with the mark to prove it till now -Still haven’t figured out you’re a bottom yet huh. Like you denial is a strange thing. -"I'm sorry but no matter what I try, I can't Photoshop away those genital warts. I'll issue your refund in 2-3 business days." -Ah! The micro penis fellatio pose never fails. -"It's good you're acknowledging the voices in your head, you're on the path to getting better. First one you need to ignore though is the one that gives you fashion advice." -Even god rejected her and was like nah stay away bit..h. -"You're so ugly, Piccolo's special beam cannon changed directions because it didn't want to touch your gross stupid face. It left that graze on your dumb head" -"So, you need to have a mustache to join that sorority?" -Would. -MMMBop -3rd pic : Giving tough competition to a crossdresser sissy -Your eye brows look like repurposed pubic hair -29F* -They should have finished the job. -"You found an overweight Indian girl you can have bi-curious experiences with, congratulations" -"Carpet burn on your face . You took the phrase ""face down ass ""up to litteral ." -sue who did your reassignment surgery -Basic female looking for validation on the internet. I’m surprised you aren’t promoting your only fans. -I’ve fucked your mom. It wasn’t great then. Clearly someone didn’t pull out and we are graced by her strongest swimmer. Clearly your the one that didn’t leak back out. -Looks like you have a jizz stain on your fishnet stockings. Must have been a good day for your brother. -Has anyone ever told you that you look like only has (a stoner masculine lesbian) in drag -Lean into the elf thing. It takes focus away from that face. 😬 -"Just chill, Dude" -Your sorority sucks. -"It’s great that you added extra pictures to give us more material to work with, but who’s the guy on the gurney?" -I see you have a friend. You can let her go now. -"The worst thing about you is that you’re desperately seeking attention to the point that even fun criticism counts as validation to you because you inwardly don’t feel good enough or interesting enough as a person. You are acting as though you’re secure and fine with getting roasted but actually it reveals how insecure and anxious you are. - -There’s your roast." -She will let you cum in her! -I saw the other girls. -Look it’s lil’ red riding every dick in your hood -You’re pregnant? I doubt it. -"This is a Wild way to announce your bottom surgery. Side note, please tell your friend to keep her tongue in her mouth. She’s got it bad enough" -MTF -the duff of the friend group of 2 -Did you go to ren faire? -You must have been the first time a *doctors* put the DNR note on your chart. -You never alone if you eat your twin. -This your friend?: https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/4PUkhMGnIx -"Hustler Magazine < Playboy Magazine -Larry Flint < Hugh Hefner -Beaver hunt < centerfold -Etc" -The bra game ain't foolin anyone -You could strike a match off those eyebrows. -You're happy they added that Indian chick to your sorority so you so you're not alone in the realm of the unfuckables -"You need a go fund me page since pic 3 show you cannot afford pantie hose to replace the ones with runs in them. -Hopefully one day you get off the drugs and won’t need to repeat pic 3, 4 and 6-8. Just Say No to Drugs!" -"Not alone? Ah, I see you still have that ren fest dildo from last year with the hand crank. You look like you��ve been working those forearms" -I just rubbed one out over this. Thank you. -"Well, according to Robert Smith yiu shouldn't cry." -You look like you excel at IM sports and hook up with someone from the bar every night of the week there’s a half off deal and cannot remember the last time you valued anything about yourself or your existence. -The tits don’t make up for the mustache. -🪦🦄🦞🥹🫀😭 -I bet you’re mad there isn’t a urinal for you in the women’s bathroom. -Why is it always terrible looking people that want to be roasted? -What makeup can do. -Aww. That’s cool that you gals made a sorority for girls not pretty enough to be in the real sorority. -"19F? - -Are you sure" -You’re trying to be Arwen so hard but we all know the reason the haven’t won the Darwin awards. -"When they said ""be there or be square!"" I guess your face didn't get the message..." -Looks like you hit menopause half way through -"Wow, you are unpleasant to look at." -Your phone case looks like your future. Butthole pics as far as the eye can see. -"I know a certain Keebler Elf who ate way more than her cookie quota, now she can’t fit inside that hollow ass tree!!!" -"Oooof - -Really messed up" -Nah 19? Looking for a bf?!!??!!?! -These pics sound like the bar I used to work at and look like the guys that didn't tip. -You look like the fun one.. Meaning you get porked once and dropped. -Who’s the dude in the hospital bed? -Hear me out... -When did little red riding hood get fat ? The big bad wolf plumping up his dinner ? -Your tits are going to make you a single mum soon enough. -So gorgeous I would date you -Looks like the oopsie you try not wake up while leaving in the morning... -She couldn’t make friends so she paid for them and if she misses a payment they leave her. On a positive note her STI won’t leave her -Ugg … just no … -"You are one of those girls that was so close to be pretty, but it just didn't happen for you. O well, hope you are smart." -Cute for a sex worker. -Don't tell me you made emotional relationship with your brush? -Looks like someone told you to make them a sandwich and you said no. -"That hairbrush is the closest you'll ever get to a long-term relationship, and even as an inanimate object, it's looking for a way out." -John Travolta lookin head-ass -I can’t tell what you identify as -You need access to emotions to cry. -Won the eyebrow AND nose lottery. -You go to Starbucks and just order a Pup Cup for your nonexistent dog and go to your car and eat it in shame -"So your girlfriend already gave you a shiner, eh??" -In picture 3 you look like a trans Sofia Vergara. -Oh shit it is just an ugly girl sorority? -Life sucks. Roasted. -Ur chin is bold and big enough to defend u -Are you a man? -If you're 19 I'm still mid delivery 😭😭 -Showing off some your personalities -The store clerk wouldn't add a divider to our items on the belt r/selfburn -You look like you do only fans for free…. -"It’s not that you’re not crying, is that your eyebrows are soaking up the tears before they fall" -Your friend is so terrible looking she has to go to bars with you so she gets hit on. -"OMG—Did Foto#4 turn you into Foto#6? - -Thoughts and prayers your way—" -"Is this some kind of female version of revenge of the nerds? Lemme guess, you're booger." -"U look like u get offended on other people's behalfs, but then turn around and say slurs with ur friends" -The tide wouldn't even take that out. -You look like you'd smell like cavities -Someday you will refer to yourself as BBW. -"Wait, is that girl with you the jawn who asked to be roasted in another thread? Is this what your sorority considers fun?" -Is it bad that I love the elf ears? 😭 -You should make your eye brows even bushier because I still can see your nose... -Matt Geatz would pass -Classic duff in your sorority. -"*19M. -Ftfy" -"I thought elves were supposed to be graceful and elegant, not chunky and stomach-churning." -You look like you have granny panty lines in any pants you wear -Your parents still don't love you -You look like 2 woolly worms had a suicide pact to die on your forehead -"Not crying? You should get your tearducts unclogged, you are trying to hide your fat so hard it must've been building up there." -#3 little hoe peep -John Travolta in drag … -Next time bite a pillow. Facial rug burns are not a good thing. -"Op is one of those beautifully done art cakes. Very pretty on the outside. The moment you cut into it, she's dry as fuck and has less flavor than a piece of cardboard." -So you’re roommates with the soon to be deported… -I call bull shit. -Those voices sure do come in handy. -comment -You look like an air mattress when you start inflating it and only one section blows up. -That shirt has more structural integrity than a Boeing 787 -Thanks for keeping me employed! I work in a cardiac ICU. -Are those friends orbiting you right now ? -"How would I Roast you? - -I'd say **325°F** on one side and then **325°F** the other until golden brown" -Well needless to say your shirt can't find your dick either -Id say enjoy your 60s but you won't see them -"Not sure what’s more likely to burst, those buttons or your aorta?" -Stay away from the beach. People might try to roll you back into the water -Who the fuck makes that shirt? NASA? 😟 -Never go to the Faroe Islands bro -Is that your belly button or a blow hole? -Its a beanbag with teeth 👀 -When the baby due? -I finally found a fetish grosser than feet -We can all hear your arteries hardening. -Vince McMayonnaise -this is fetish content surely -"When you walk past the TV, I miss three episodes." -"Your ""friends"" are your moobs, right?" -So that's how Diabetes smiles. -Bro we can see your other posts 💀 -I’m sure they’re referring to your big smile and not that gigantic tumor -Imagine not being able to see your Weiner -Are those friends “Ben” and “Jerry”? -If bro went on a diet I think 4 undeveloped nations would have enough food to thrive for decades -Any woman who lets you fuck her doesn't have enough self respect -Guys I think this guy as a kink where you humiliate and/or degrade them.. -"God damn, he’s growing his own apron. " -I'm really impressed with the quality of that shirt! Not having all the buttons fly off like they were fired out of a rifle takes some serous quality! -To paraphrase Greg Giraldo; how can you be that out of shape given how often the townspeople chase you around with pitchforks? -"Part of me wants to roast you, but another part of me wants to take you to Golden Corral to observe you in your natural habitat while Sir David Attenborough narrates." -You have enough skin for two humans -The last time anyone had an oven to roast something of your size was Auschwitz -Only a house fire could properly roast this pig. -Let me guess…your name is “Buford”. -You look like you know the whereabouts of several missing children. -Fat guy in a little shirt. -That shirt is fighting for its life -"You include other people in your fetish without their consent, so while you're getting off on what you think is the worst thing about you, just realize that's pretty far down the list. The worst thing about you is what a shit person you are." -"They are not your friends, they just can't break orbit..." -Taking bets on correctly guessing when's the last time op could see his dick and balls. I say 1995. -Can't even roast this that's just disgusting as fuck -Perfect example of why you shouldn’t just have friends that tell you what you want to hear -That’s fucking disgusting -This is some humiliation fetish shit. Not into it -You look like someone who has a shaming kink so I’m sure you’ll get off on all this tonight -This is someone's fetish and I'm tired of pointing it out. -This gotta be some feederism/fetish shit 🤢 -American ? -The only salad you’ve ever eaten is potato salad -This dude has a weight-gain/hunilation fetish you all are actively participating in lol -can't explain it but I just know this is sexual for you -"I'm not interested in participating in your shame kink, dude." -Didn't know gainer was a sub. -"Roast you? Okay, let me grab the apple first." -You’re a spit and apple short of a roast buddy -"Not sure I'd have the time to roast you, would take f*cking weeks." -"Regardless of what your friends said, you had no right eating them. 😳" -Didn’t you work in an ice cream truck in the Spawn comics? -When you hear the doorbell you walk to the microwave. -This is the dudes kink. I wouldn’t comment. -"Is this another fetish post? - - - -Edit: don't look through the profile, it's a fetish post" -He hasn’t seen his penis in years -Bruh look at this guys history 💀 he needs mental help -You’re jerking off to this comment section rn aren’t you? -Guys got more chins than the Chinese phone book -Kevin by definition. -you have grown massive alright -"Bro you cant grow anymore, surely" -No space left to roast. -You add huge mass to earth -Roy Orbits Sun -This guy can only order prostitutes with a truck drivers license. -What er ya lookin at ma gut fer! Big cheeseburger walrus -Total eclipse of the dick -Where do they make blue tent wings ls in this size ? Looking to cover my roof -New measurement system unlocked: Jupiter -You buy your blood pressure medication from a horse veterinarian. -Bro ate those friends -Do you have a wife named lois perchance? -Tuck that it in. There are children around. Where's your self respect -You don't look like you need a roast. Looks like you've already eaten all the roasts! You've had your share and then some. -Do you have the matching diabetes roll on the back of your neck? -Last time you went out with your friends the science community called it the solar eclipse of april 8th 2024 -"Just for this post, he had to ask nasa for satellite pictures" -Dude needs GPS on his penis so he can find it when has to pee. -I’m attracted to you…gravitationally -congratulations! when are you due? -"XL -XXL -XXXL -Semi Inflated Life Raft <-- You Are Here" -Something tells me you have a monthly gravy budget -Looking like you bout to undergo metamorphosis -You are weighed in Richter scale -Are you seriously carrying around an extra 200 pounds just to distract from your snaggletooth smile? -The only thing working harder than those shirt buttons is your arteries -What the actual fuck? -You're at the point where you need to do a powerlift just to see your dick in the mirror -So at what point when you were hanging out with those friends did you decide to eat them?? -Maybe stay away from roasts for a little while… -"You’re expecting people fat shame you, but the world is just shocked to see the 5th button’s strength." -"I thought this was such a eerie post, then I saw that it's a kink and it all made sense. not even a roast, open op's profile." -you must have some kind of humiliation fetish -Wow imagine being so unhealthy and sad that you turn it into a fetish just to feel better and then get addicted to that. This isn't a roast just a sad observation on how low people get. -Fetish content doesn't belong here... -Son is 23 months pregnant -He looks like he ate Peter griffin -I feel so much better about myself now for some reason. -"Roasts here mean insults, not food. I know, it’s very confusing" -This is 100% some type of kink for you. -Honestly this just makes me sad. Hopefully you figure out whatever is going on with you and get your lifestyle under control -Southwest should hire him in case another door flies off. Bro would seal it perfect. -"Ahh...you played the main star in Nikes ""Belly is gonna get you"" advert!" -Baron Fartcomin. -Oh buoy -You have massively grown. -You make cows feel better about themselves -Are you still alive to read this comment? -Which friends? Häagen or Dazs? -You are the worst product that has come from America. Thanks China -It's a shame to see that Forrest Gump stopped running. -Your stretch marks are actually just a map to the local taco bells. -Words...fail me. -There isn't a big enough oven on earth to roast you. -Bro you look so hot with your huge tits which appear to be bigger than my mums bet they milk themselves and pairing the fact your 18 months pregnant and overdue. Don’t get me started on your teeth…. -is it a boy or a girl? -"Are those friends of yours, your moons?" -Bro hasn't seen his penis for so long that the police have pronounced it dead. -"I noticed you don’t have a wedding ring on, and I’m truly, truly shocked." -"Why are your teeth social distancing still... I know your friends are too, I hear it's safer to stear clear of beached sea animals" -Looks like you ate them instead -I’m so thoroughly disgusted that I don’t know whether to go with a fat joke or mention that you’re probably not allowed within 500ft of any school or playground. -Is nobody talking about that haircut -"Nothing bad to say, this guy seems like a modern day gentleman." -Your beer belly loves hanging out with your friends too -"Peter Griffin in the live action Family Guy movie, no makeup necessary" -An industrial oven is the way to roast you. -"On the plus side, at least your gut gives people their own personal solar eclipse when you pass by." -"GET IN MAH BELLY. I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. I want my baby back baby back baby back, ribs." -Hog roast -Decent solution to world hunger. -"Ah, I see the bus has arrived and it’s already packed and ready to roll" -"Cheeseburger Walrus, Mayor McCheese, Onion Ring Sasquatch…any JRoc insult to Randy works here." -You have somehow managed to make the pillsbury dough boy look skinny -Wow… what a mess -I am actually serious it won't load its too large -Obesity incarnate would be an understatement -This looks like a job for Kendrick lamar ngl -Diabetes/heart risk is doing the roasting for us -You don’t need anymore roasts ! -Congratulations boy or girl -Them buttons are screaming for help -"How are Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire doing these days?" -Dude! Save yourself while you still can because I promise you obesity related diseases are NOT FUN -"Guys, let's stop making jokes at his expanse" -"His friends can’t escape him, they’re currently orbiting him 🤣" -It looks like you've had enough roast -Your confidence isn't the only thing that's growing -"You don’t have a a belly, your belly has you." -When you jump into bed each night the equator moves -Gut Cassidy and the Cheeseburg Kid. -Brother you are the roast -I bet the back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs -There’s enough lint in that button to make two shirts for an average sized man. -Take care of yourself bro. You only get one life / one body. -this kinda feels like a kink thing -Shirt is under more pressure than your arteries. -Damn Randy lay off the cheeseburgers -Randy? -"This man needs to be lifted up as impossible as that seems. This is the type of comfortable in your own skin we should celebrate. Id like him to be happy and healthy, both can be done while big. -So Mr titty McGee aint gettin roasted by me -Tho he does get cock blocked by his own gut - -Imagine being a pen pal of your own dick" -Go wake up Lahey out of the pool and ask what happened to the roof of your cær. -"This shirt for president 2024, it can clearly keep it together" -It’s amazing you could get so fat with only 3 working teeth -I always wondered what happened to jarred from subway -you sure your confidence is the only thing that's grown? -Those buttons have more tension than The Gaza Strip -I bet confidence is a code word... -A testament to the factory where those buttons were sewn on. Unless this was seconds before they became trajectories that took out the eyes of the poor soul who snapped the picture -"Yeah, your confidence has grown, but it is quite obvious that something else has grown too" -"""Massively grown"" is crazy 💀💀💀" - Tf is wrong with people. Kudos to your confidence. But keep this sh¡t to yourself. Like why would ever think that people want to see your fatness? -Are you cosplaying Nikocado Avocado? -I wish my relationship had been as strong as the buttons of that shirt. -Are the friends inside... You.. Right now? -Roast? I don't have a BBQ or oven even close to.big enough. Have to go to the local steel mill for a furnace big enough. -Those buttons would have held the levee’s during Katrina. Gotdamn -“GET IN MY BELLY” said in Fat Bastard voice lol -You're the lead singer for the eatles -You look like Peter Griffin if he was born in Missouri -"No, but you’ve massively grown in belly" -"Watch out, If you add a big H on your t-shirt, helicopters might land on you." -I bet your cooking is on point! Never trust a skinny cook -Poor guy won’t be able to see his dick in this lifetime -Kids under 10 eat for free but bro thought they were free to eat. -That was after you ate them lol -I don't a spit that big. -SHEIN Bert Kreischer -Preston lacy put on a few pounds -"Honestly man, I like you, I got nothing ✌️" -what friends you talking? ben and jerry?? -Looks like Lard Ass from the pie eating contest in Stand By Me. Rat guts and blueberry sauce. Marveling at the barforama he created. -Yeah it’s hanging out alright. -"Roast you? I’d have to baste you every couple hours for a week straight, and I’m not willing to do that." -I will not participate in your self deprecation fetish sir -"Between your teeth and lower shirt buttons, you should open a new boutique called GAPs" -comment -You look like you buy mayonnaise by the gallon -The irony of you writing roast me on a paper plate does not escape me -How many water bottles have you cut with your sword in the backyard? -Your parents are the real winners here -No Girlfriend line is unnecessary. We can tell -You look like Randy from My Name is Earl if he just went on a bender -Did they die or did you eat them -You look like you use the mirror to practice kissing -"You seem like a nice guy who’s had bad luck, I can’t roast you dude. - -Wouldn’t be fair." -"I have no roast right now, just sorry for your losses. I may hit you later though. I'm coming out of a time period with some pretty hard losses myself, dad was homicide.. I still have mom.. I can't imagine your situation so young.. stay strong bro - -I'm 43" -You're equal parts Samwell Tarly and Hodor. -My eyes got diabetes from watching your pics -Not gonna roast you. Going to say you're 6 months of try hard away from being a Savage. You have a nice face and a big smile. If you tightened up the body and gave yourself some confidence from lifting heavy things you'd be unstoppable. Save some bitches for the rest of us -Private Pile living the dream. -"This guy is just like batman because he doesnt have a mother or a father, but he has a beard, no girl, alone, uglier, and most definetly Fatter" -"You’re funny and self deprecating, I’m sorry for your loss, you seem like a strong dude. Take care of yourself, get in shape if you want to and chicks will be all over you because you’re a naturally handsome guy. I’d like to add no homo because I’m a millennial but I won’t because I don’t think it’s appropriate in this day and age so I’ll just say, hey! Stop staring at my dick! That’s the new thing right?" -damn. what happened to your parents man. can't imagine that at age 23. -"Reading your replies, you have a great sense of humor and seem like a genuinely cool person. You deserve to feel confident and happy, man. - -I think a lot of people here would be stoked beyond stoked to see you in the Glowups sub in a year or so, looking and feeling like the best version of the already likable dude we see here. - -Cheers buddy. - -And here is an obligatory mayonnaise comment because roast." -Actually not gonna roast you. Hit the gym and improve your physique. Lose the neck beard. Though this won’t bring your parents back it will attract a female. Pair that with what I’m assuming is a comedic personality … you’ll pull a good woman and you won’t be lonely anymore. Get a dog too. A good dog. Not an asshole dog and name him something cool like f-16 or some shit. -You got a great smile homie! Keep ya head up. -Stop ur actually cute 😅 -"I dont want to roast you. -Infact I want you to be happy and have a great life." -"Take care of yourself, my man." -"Can't do it, you're doing better than I ever would have in that situation keep up the good work butteryums" -Looks like a sweet kid. -Pfff this dude look like he'd be a good friend -i think you have had enough... id just give you pat on the shoulder -"… I can’t. Silly as you seem, you look like an absolute sweetheart to me. You’re gonna go far, even if you do buy Mayo by the gallon." -sending my love. may they rest in peace ❤️ -Wait no you have a nice smile 🥹 -"Dude, listen you will find someone eventually and i'm sorry for your loss, but all i can say is that you'll find someone eventually, I know how you feel, it sucks and you are gorgeous, no diddy." -"I’m just going to say, I’m sorry for your loss." -You’re built like a deep breath. -you have a really nice smile -I think you're attractive. I'm a guy though lol -Why you ruining the good crockery? -"Crying uncontrollably and Hostess Snack Cakes are two things you combine regularly, don’t you?" -23 and you live alone in this economy? Your parents must be so proud. -"I want to reach out and give you a hug.. - -...but can't get my arms around them big ass titties. - -So a pat on the back and a there there gonna have to do" -You look like you be out in amish smoking big doinks -"I don't know man, can't do it. Much love from London" -"You don’t need anyone to roast you, you’ve been thru enough. Hope you get fun and good things come your way soon" -Congratulations on living by yourself. Must be making the social workers proud! -Have the authorities found where you hid their bodies? -Did you come to this sub because you’re a literal human marshmallow -That belt is on suicide watch -"I'm so sorry you're alone. I know what it's like to not have anyone, loneliness is difficult at times to handle. I wish I could trade places with either one of your parents for you. Not because I want your loneliness to end, but because I wouldn't have to see this post." -Bruh -Pretty sure I gave you an Uber ride the other day and you smelled like ass. -HOLD THE DOOR!!!!!!! HOLDA DORR!!!! HODARR!! Hodar? -You strike me as the sort to hold a cigar in between your teeth while struggling to strike the match on your scraggly facial hair. -"Knock knock, who’s there calorie intake" -What sucks is those are the *least* depressing things about you 🤷‍♂️ -Type a guy to write r/roastme on the paper plate hes going to use for his later meal. -Show you what I’ve got? A wife and two sets of living parents. #winning -"I can't even imagine the stain your arteries, heart and other internal organs are under on a daily basis." -you know who else’s parents are dead? batman😈 -I hope you can see the sailboat some day -"Love you bro, and I wish you the best on life!" -I love you bud <3 -I just feel for you if I’m honest. Sorry to hear about all of that -Not bad aftermath of such tragedy. I expected joker 🃏 transition but I believe this will do -I loved you in Mean Girls! -I love you man -i’m sorry your parents died -"God bless you.. -." -What 90% of redditors look like -Walmart version of Chris Pratt from the office. -You are enough -"You seem like a nice guy, ya jerk" -I can't roast you. I hope everything works out for you. -10/10 would smash! Only thing is I'm a dude 😂 -Okay the best way to come up with a Reddit user name is do this. Use exactly what you say out loud every day when you sit down to the same exact meal and start to eat it from the plastic tub. -I’m sure you didn’t live by yourself when your parents were alive. -Would you like to go Casa Bonita? -If you’re wondering why you are having difficulty finding a GF look at picture number 2 again. It’s pretty much an example of everything not to do/be as far as obtaining a (willing)GF. -Nah you need a supporting hand. Get out there man you got this -"Butteryums is such a fitting username considering. Do you eat the butter by the stick, or the tub?" -He took this picture after he slipped into something a little more comfortable. Then goes out to the living room just to find Chris Hansen there waiting to interview him on the 12 year old he was supposed to be meeting. -Private Lawrence is that a Gawd Damn Jelly Doughnut ! -"Saying you live on your own, when really you're still living in your mum and dad's basement... Oh, so yeah you live on your own then I guess." -"Yes...yes... two dead parents a would full of healthy food, all the workings for the crepe crusader!" -That first picture you just look like one more Jedi with no chance of ever becoming a Jedi Master. Anakan't Skywalker. -"You look like all your ""friends"" demand you do the truffle shuffle" -Love you bro keep up the good work -Look like you eat corn on the cob the long way two at a time -Obese Jon Snow -Yeah I don't think we're getting a batman here -OP what is happening in the second picture? Can I get some context? -"I come here to say that I'm sorry to hear it and I hope you are alright, have a good day." -its fat jon snow ... the night is cold and full of terrors -You look like the type of guy who’s run out of dishes and rather than running a cycle on the dish washer chooses to go and buy paper ones -"Dude, if you're living by yourself, you've got your life together. Kudos for that." -Is there a window you haven’t licked? -You’ve got a good sense of humor! Nicely done on the minecraft pig cosplay but I don’t think anyone will be riding you anytime soon. -"Eh, move aside Kirby. We got a bigger and better suck machine right here" -"The man's looking like lifes punching bag, idk. Take it easy keep it cheezy out there brotha" -Most average 190 pound guy ever -You’ve got neckbearditis -"You could've left out the ""no girlfriend"" part, we already knew by the pictures." -"You look like if John Snow and Samwell Tarly fucked, but they mistakenly didn’t leave you to the white walkers. You obviously take after Sam." -"“There isn’t an oven big enough to roast you” -P.s sorry" -HODOR!! -I loved you in full metal jacket -You are like Bruce Wayne but the poor version of it. -Low budget Sam Tarly -You look like you'd be on the SO list. -"23, fat, wearing a Minecraft shirt. You could have skipped the “no girlfriend” part. We know." -"No matter how your parents died, everyone thinks you did it" -"Come on, bring the fedora out. We know you have one." -The army needs this one -"Didn’t even have to mention no girlfriend, that’s apparent." -This dude a fkn legend -"23 and both parents are gone? I’m so sorry homie, you’re still young and deserve all the happiness" -"I’d love to, but honestly I think you might need some Therepy or maybe some exercise and get your head straight my man." -"Lots of comments by trolls. - - Dude, you are fine. You'll meet a nice person randomly, whatever your preference... put less emphasis on looks and more on the mentality, it's far more important - -Met my wife at work 15+ years ago, two kiddos, here we are." -You look like you laugh really hard and you have nice teeth and a handsome face -Seem like a fun dude tbh. -You look chill as hell and seem pretty cool -you look like bolbi from jimmy neutron -No. You look like a nice guy that’s been through some hard shit. It gets better. -"His game catalog: -Ham theft auto -NBA 2manykilos -Forknite -Dinecraft -Donkey dingdong -Super smash burgers -Csgo to the gym - -And I curtsy🩰" -You have a lot of great features! Keep working out and pursuing a healthy lifestyle! 👍🏽 you’re smile is amazing! I am sorry for the loss of your loved ones ❤️‍🩹 keep your head up and keep smiling ✌🏾 -I also choose this guys' parents -"Bro you're too sweet for this shit. Hope you got the roast you wanted, but looks to me like you deserve a hug 🫂 you're very handsome, you're gonna be a stunner as you age, and you have a great attitude. You won't be single long" -"I think life already roasted you enough, we don't need to add to it." -Is it ButteryUms or ButterYums? -You have a really nice smile bro I know I’m meant to roast you but you’d probably appreciate this more -No roast from me. Just words of encouragement. You’re surviving. You’re doing great. Keep pushing. -"Life Ain't easy little man Take care - -you seem like a nice guy !" -"Here’s a nice roast, you are handsome and look friendly. Take that. Punk." -"Mfucker looks like he enjoys long walks on the beach, and warm hugs." -So many people have said private gomer pile jokes that I'm not even going to do that I'm just going to say that you look ugly as hell -"Healthy skin and decent face/height. There is potential. Just get a personal trainer, lift heavy, lose weight and get money. You’ll be fine." -"I hope you find a little bit of happy, man" -"Nah man. You getting it done. My family has never wavered in their support of me, and I promise I wouldn’t be where I’m at without them. I would be a complete disaster without my parents, especially when I was 23. If you’re able to keep going in spite of being young, without the love and support of your parents, there is nothing to roast." -"Well, you’re fat 😂" -You look like a genuinely nice chap. I’m placing my sword back in the scabbard this one time. Unless you really want the roast. -Bro you’re actually funny as hell I fuck wit u😄 -bro theres a woman magnet under all the lbs. -"Poor chap! Dude you look like a good hang man, duck this roasting😂 Just picture the up and up dude, it ain’t all bad on earth 🤷‍♂️" -Ngl. You look easy to draw 💀 -You looked like leaked images of dream -Damn its kinda hard to hit u when u already down like that bro my heart goes out to u -"I'd roast you, but you would break my Bar-B-Q, after eating all of my side dishes. And also, you might want to stop weighing yourself on that scale at work, I am sure they are tired of having to replace it every week." -"You look like you own several gaming consoles. But judging by your sense of humour on here, I’d be down to play vids with you." -Haha the picture of you with them at belt things was seriously so funny. You look like you’re the life of the party haha. Or at least someone whose funny. -"How tall are you, Private?" -You live by yourself and decorate your home like a 60 yr old woman? #doubt -Will you now become Batman? -"I’m so sorry for your losses. I really don’t think you are too roastable- you are good looking, have nice teeth, good hair and clear skin. Maybe workout a bit to feel better about yourself and care for yourself, but you are so young, that girlfriend will come. ❤️" -You shouldn't have posted this photo.. I doubt the Amish will take you back 😔 -No I refuse to roast you 😔 -Go to the gym. Not roasting you. Genuinely wishing you the best. -You don't need to say you use reddit -Your parents had the right idea… >!oh god that was hard to write. I’m not cut out for this sub. I’m sorry for your loss!!< -honestly cant roast u i wanna get drunk for dad lore with u -Is your user a Goose reference to their song? (Butter rum) It’s a great band and it would be awesome if it was a reference. I know Butter rum is an actual thing so most likely not but hey— I have to ask. -You look like you just retired from being a cop and decided to celebrate that by having a jelly donut eating contest -I think you're a cool person to hang out with -the paper plate has me fucking rolling right now i love you even though that is probably against the rules here -"Keep ya head up , It gets better n im saying that because im in your shoes" -You dress well and have an excellent haircut... Today is opposite day -Little late to the orphan party but… nope I can’t. I’m sorry my guy… -i am not roasting you i would like to be your friend :( -You should dye you hair read and audition as a leprahaun! -"Is it bad that I want to tell every submitter ""Hey it's gonna be okay, you're a lot stronger than you may think""? - -Although OP looks like he could kick down a load-bearing beam without breaking a sweat, so he may be aware of his stength" -"Honestly dude I'm just sorry you lost them so young. - -You do whatever makes you happy and take care of yourself. Sending an internet hug" -“WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION PRIVATE” -I think you’re very handsome! -Can’t tell if after your parents passed you tried turning the house into the playboy mansion or if your dressed to go play jiu-jitsu with the neighborhood children? -God bless you! ❤️❤️ -Can’t roast you but I can empathize strongly with you. There is so much strength needed to stand on your own without any support. You deserve nothing but the best buddy. I am sure things will turn out better for you and I hope you work more towards better future. Take care bud :) -He’s going to have dinner on that plate later and breakfast tomorrow as well -Hey bro! Just wanted to come back one more time and let you know that smile looks great on you! (Last pic) -"Please, stop.this. why subject yourself to mean and hateful comments from strangers? God loves you." -Did your mom sit naked on one of JD Vance’s couches? -Clearly fake AI. No one could be that pathetic irl. -I'm pretty sure he ate his parents. Wonder if he used barbecue sauce -"You live by yourself at age 23?! Wow! Can you dress yourself on your own or does your mom pick your clo..... oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm not sorry." -This the bully from boy meets world -"“Show me what you got” - -Is that what you say to everyone coming out of McDonald’s?" -Was it shame that did them in? -Why would I give you what I got when you don't even have anything to give me? -Orphan Fat -Bro thinks he's Batman or summertime -You need to leave roastme and join entiresideofbeefinme -Well I guess we know y they died -Your parents lucked out. -"You ever wonder what whales look like out of water for too long... yep, you are it." -You didn’t have to add that last picture. The first 4 were more than enough material for us to work with. -F man sucks to have them taken away too soon -You look like you are ready to practice lightsabers in the park -Replace towel with a t-shirt -Did you ever make it up to your brother Earl for missing that baseball game all these years ago? -"Dude, there was no need to specify that you live by yourself. It’s obvious and self-explanatory." -Did you eat them? -Lowkey you look like that one big white dude from remember the titans. -"Can I assume you ate your parents, and their dying wish was for you to promise to never exercise?" -"You're not by yourself. Your demons are always with you. - -Sleep tight buddy." -Soon to be seen on “My 600 Pound Life.” -"Sorry that your application as a cashier at McDonalds didn't work out, Josh" -You look like you shag mcflurry machines. -"… - -My job is done here…" -I can see that Private Pyle look in those eyes. The look he had just before the bathroom scene. -Do some washing up -"Are you sure u live by ""myself""? Cos that pregnant tummy and mammary glands hidden behind those god-awful shirt says otherwise." -"Bro, you could've been batman, but ur caseoh looking ahh Reddit mod now." -Lighten up buttercup. -Samwell Tarley you’ll never be the main character In anyone’s life -This is what you get when you order Samwell Tarley from Wish. -Kinda look like the “I’m a snnnnnake”guy all grown up. -"So, if your parents are dead, does that mean you are now officially Lord Samwell of the house Tarly?" -When did Samwell Tarly's watch on the wall end? -Hodor -He looks like a guy who wears his underwear on both sides before washing -"Apparently your parents starved to death. - -Was there a funeral, or did you eat them, too?" -"You don’t need to tell us you don’t have a girlfriend, we know" -"You kinda look like the ""Bad Ideas"" guy if he made badder ideas" -What we got? A family -Show us the shelf of framed pictures that you asked strangers to take of you with big breasted women at conventions! -you look like your username is literal -"Well, I don't have pics of my mom right now, to show you what I still got." -Live alone??? Do the little boys in the cages not count anymore??? -Food is your only friend …… -"Dude, go to the gym. You don't want to meet your parents early as a virgin." -In this situation your parents are the lucky ones. -Didn't know disappointment was that lethal... -"What was Earls brothers name in ""My Name Is Earl""?" -"I got my parents, my gf and the home we own, and we have 3 dogs and a bunny." -"""live by myself"" is not correct, you still got that twin brother in you, that you recently ate" -Can’t even afford ceramic plates you tramp -The calloused knuckles on your hand suggests that you’re Obi Wan’s distant cousin Obi Ben Dover. Your lack of force is evident by the lack of blisters on the other side of your hand. -You look like a guy who follows through after every fart. -In the 5th picture you see the only person ever that smiled to you! -The paper plate has more detail then your face brother -Hodor -Live on your own huh? Now you'll have somewhere to be when the girls don't call -Live on your own huh? Now you'll have somewhere to be when the girls don't call -I bet you’re keeping your therapist in business then huh -Postm Alone -Good work man now post the after pics -Seen at the gas station in a self made sleeveless t shirt in his Ford fucking Ranger. -Damn. You are as alone as you look. -You know. -Your Parents are really Resting in Peace. -Tell us something that your pic doesn’t. -I am sorry about your parents. Please don't tell us how they tasted. -comment -“Thank you for your service.” - the guy you just blew for $20 -You look like you give your patients unnececassry prostate exams -"Oh, you've been pegged, alright." -You look like every single letter in LGBTQ -"New policy - -Don’t have to ask -We can tell" -Man I miss Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. -How to say I’m gay without saying I’m gay -"You look like you transitioned, then changed your mind, then changed it a third time, then finally just settled on being gay asf" -"\*Hasn't arrived to PDS yet - -boot level = maximum" -You couldn't pay a hooker enough to peg you. -You look like the kind of guy that would collect severed dicks and make a necklace if war broke out. -"Girl please, you will not be taken seriously in the army with that feminine-ass look" -"The estrogen you've been taking is paying off. Any chance at looking remotely masculine is long gone. - -Mission accomplished! You look like a butch lesbian." -"Hey, no insult here but did you realize that you opened Reddit instead of Grinder?" -"Just because you wear a pretend medical fetish outfit at gay orgies, it does not mean you're an actual medic. - -Real medics stop diseases, you spread them." -Twink -You misspelt weak belly. -"Not a dig, but you look like you suck a lot of dick." -"""Private, this man's been shot. Quit playing with his butthole & help me stop the bleeding""" -Bunch of parents are gonna get folded flags because of your shit work -Justin Dweeber -I don't know if you trigger my homophobia or transphobia. -"You look like a typical German techno junkie from Berlin with your clothes on. Your face is so feminine you could get the lead role in a mass gang bang gay video. -""or doing bro stuff with the homies."" Your Instagram Bio says all... -As a soldier, you will go to war with dildos instead of being able to hold a weapon." -I know an Ether Bunny when I see one. -“We have nate from euphoria at home” -"If I get shot on the battlefield, and it's a choice between dying and getting rescued by this boot, just go ahead and make the necessary next of kin notifications." -"I see the Army is now admitting trans pillow princesses. Your favorite part of MEPS was getting your butthole checked, wasnt it. - -Or did you prefer seeing all the other guys duck walk in their underwear? Which one got your little clit a fluttering" -"you look like the poster child of a chad incel hybrid, first of its kind" -Dudes got kardashian level lip filler -You genuinely look extremely feminine. -Phrasing says it all. Definitely asking someone to take him down and peg -You sure your a 68W you look more like a fucken bologna pony riding fucken cav queer! POG! -You look like you get pegged on the daily anyways. -Since when did the military allow you to wear piercings such as those? Something tells me you haven't even been to BC yet...maybe not even to MEPS. -As a current infantryman I'd rather bleed out then let you throw a tourniquet on me -Pegging on your mind all the time? -You look like you take a peg or two -"""HI sisters"" looking mf" -They’re just letting anyone in these days huh ? -Congrats on your transition. The surgeons did a superb job hiding where your tits used to be. -Dressing like a cavalry trooper in a village people tribute act is not like joining the military for real. -You look like a no means yes type of guy -"Let me sum up the comments for you, you’re gay." -you look exactly the same as you did when you where 14 -"You need to assert your masculinity more, kiddo!" -You only give male victims mouth to mouth ol lookin ass…… -Operation human shield -"I'm so disappointed in all these comments. Like, don't y'all have anything better than gay jokes? Seems like this sub doesn't have any standards anymore. - -Also seems like the Army doesn't have any standards anymore..." -You look like you cover yourself in vasoline and pretend to be a snail in your spare time -19 but you take selfies like a 75 year old on Facebook -Earrings are against uniform standards and regulations. Shitbird. -By the look of it; you jerk off to the mirror. -Looks like someone gave up after designing your face -The lips of a brown-noser 💋 -I bet barbie was your favourite movie growing up -stop dropping the soap -He performs oral suction of the penis on the soldiers to make them feel better during deployment. -"Army medic. 🙃 -Worst cut you've had to deal with is that hatchet job someone did on your eyebrow." -Your parents change the subject when your name comes up don’t they? -"If I woke up in a Medevac and saw you working on me, I might just die right there." -"Army guy 1- medic I’m suffering -This guy- with what -Army guy 1- snake bite -This guy- no problem I’ll help you -Army guy 1- why you trying to get my dick out -This guy- to suck the poison out of -Army guy 1- but the bites on my arm" -"When you inhale, it must sound like a drain unclogging." -"You look like an even worse version of vanilla ice... Like if he prefers the company of men at the gym before taking them home. - -Rainbow Ice" -"Hard to take you down a peg, when getting pegged gets you up." -No way am I going to take you down a peg. I’m a Viet Nam vet and you are my hero. Bless you. -Yo pog you know damn well gauges are not authorized… -Are these real people ? Why would anyone post themselves on here to get made fun of ? Got recommended this sub randomly by the algorithm -Working the glory hole on base doesn't make you a medic. -People would rather respawn than have you revive them -I hope you get smoked for this boot ass post. -I did not know the Army allowed gays. -You like that Russian dude who injected glue in his biceps -How many other fingers had rings on them before they got stuck in your ass -Doesn’t seem to matter how much masculine clothing you wear. Still looking like somebodies lesbian aunt. -"When you claim to be in the army, but your uniform is standard issue Salvation Army." -"I think you win, bro. I just wonder why you gotta look like lil’ Schwarzenegger when it’s the other guys doing the real fighting" -You need bigger muscles to cover this baby face -Someone order a code red  -Johnny bravo cartoons looking ass -FtM transgender looking ass -White boy Carl? -Your family is really religious right? -He goes from butch lesbian to butch lesbian in drag. -Douchebag. -"Are you pre-op or post-op , I cant tell....." -You can't fit a piece of food more than 3 inches wide in your mouth. -You look like a sailor to me! -"The scar on your eyebrow came from your cat who you absolutely insist is friendly. Hate to break it to you, it's not, you pushover." -"You look like you learned a veinous cutdown procedure on a goat, but couldn't stop staring at its goat vagina during the whole procedure and hoped nobody would notice. - -You look like you joined up for weird reasons." -"You look like you're in N.A., neckbeards anonymous" -You’re the reason hazing should still be allowed -What army let you wear that sissy ring in your ear or ears -Why do people even join the military? -You look constipated -I want to insult you but I’m not sure where to begin because I can’t tell what sex you are. -Having retired a 20 year iraq afghanistan combat sniper. Won't roast a brother . -can't take you down a peg since you loved to be PEGGED -I'm just happy there's not much issue with lesbians in the military these days -"Okay, Elliot Paige" -i bet you made all the privates feel much better after a visit -"Fisting random people you accuse of ""hiding drugs"" doesnt make you a medic. (Thx for your service)" -"Roast request from a non ugly, decent job guy. - - -Ppl with no idea what else to say…: “um he’s gay. Ya!” 🙄🥱" -You look like you masturbate with your legs in the air -Love how the comments just went: gay -"You look like everything is going well for you. You won the genetic lottery and you take good care of yourself. Your life is like Heaven and mine is like hell, although better than many others. I’m sure you’re intelligent enough and you seem cocky which is what girls like now. Cocky is now confidence, heh. But good for you seriously, you’re winning. My highlight today was smoking some crack and shooting a bundle of fentanyl and it wasn’t that special. So yeah enjoy it. I know you will." -You're no drill sergeant but you will drill sergeant. -Thank you for your service. -Thank you for your service. Stay frosty. -You and I both have serious mental issues. I’m an army medic as well. -Don't lie r/roastme was your only possible way to get attention -I don’t disrespect veterans. -Thank you for your service no disrespect needed 🫡 -You have the sadness in your eyes that is only seen in Eastern European gay porn -I would make fun of you looking gay but being gay isnt really an insult… and im also gay -I’m getting 🏳️‍🌈vibes 😭but he’s cute tho -Not doing it cuz ur army and respect this country. Actually… go navy beat army! -god damn the jokes are just homophobia. Well you look like you got deployed to suburban indiana -You suck dick through your butthole. -"In the army my ass. They would mevrr let you wear those piercings, and you look like a butch woman" -You have a purdy mouth boy. Your severed head will be ISIS' favourite new fleshlight. -That don’t ask don’t tell policy really helped you out -Shim -"No, that’s not another way to resuscitate a man." -"'Don't ask, don't tell' is a lifelong motto." -"You put the “P” in Prolapse, Doc…" -"Nah, you look like you’ve been pegged plenty." -Its only because you're the medic that the soldiers aren't hazing you -You look like you’ve already been pegged many times who am I? -"Keep on moving it solider, nothing to roast here." -Bet you get hard everytime the silver bullet comes out. -At least now they let ‘anyone’ in after the don’t ask don’t tell stuff. -Pegged himself -You look like you went to MEPS multiple times just so the doctor would look at your butthole -First pic lookin like Handsome Squidward. -"Fuck me, poundland Justin beiber with an even more punch able face." -The army went downhill ever since they let chicks into combat roles -"Broski is the intersex apex, men women looking ass" -You’re giving butch looking bruh 😂 -You low life son of a pecker checker! -"He plays Army alright! He blows the fuck outta dudes! Don’t ask, don’t tell but you scream gay. Take it down to a subtle whisper." -Shouldn't this be in the lgbt sub? Peg indeed. -Does the army have a don't ask/don't tell policy? -Broski got so much botox done on his face that now can't decide if he's a man or women -Just an excuse to handle privates… just be honest! -Scar story? Only redeeming quality you have. -You took a couple of months worth of pegging with the boys already. -Match ring and ear ring is a hell of things -He looks like them Army medics that will help guys in other ways out in the field -That 3rd photo is ARMie Hammer. -You got a reeeeeal purdy mouth. -Private snowflake! -No way you’re a man. -"It's funny that you used the word peg, because it looks like you enjoy being pegged..." -come out the closet -Being the barracks blow job queen doesn’t necessarily make you a medic. -"Lol, life's going to hit you hard, lucky you're getting lots of practice being fucked, and happy to hear you're enjoying it..." -FAAAAAAAA* -You look like the type to give a reach around while doing an “examination” -Is that an EARRING? What the hell kind of Army you in? -I’m still trying to figure out if you’re a guy or a lady -My pronoun for you is I don’t know what the fuck you are! -They let you have a fucking haircut like that in the military? That don’t ask don’t tell policy has made the military a bunch of fruitcakes -You love your job because you get to shower with other men. -"Medic. Is a pretty libral term to describe a 92 sierra mos, but i guess you guys are kinda medics for clothes." -Butch lesbian vibes a bit..... -"Don’t ask, don’t tell ammiright?" -If Scarlet Johansen were a man. -Salvation Army medic… -Looks like you enjoy a peg or two. -Looks like he likes to get pegged. -Closed mouth smile? I'm guessing your teeth are just as straight as you are. -You have a dirty barracks room and failed your last ACFT. Command wants to see you in their office after first formation. -"Looks like you're doing great for yourself, keep it up! - -Oh and uh, you smell bad or smth" -"Your doing good in life ,you look good and I don't see a reason to tone it down any you should be proud of yourself for succeeding in 2024 it really is tough out there and this is just my opinion" -Out of the closet Nate Jacobs -I have boots with more time downrange than the length of time you've been identifying as a male. -"As a hairstylist…you’re gonna be bald by 35. So if we can’t humble you, life eventually will." -You are hot and I would love to date you 😍 Wrong sub! -Lookin like Ellen DaGenderless -Bet your parents want a folded flag for Christmas. -You look like you keep the silver bullet warm. -"If ""don't ask, don't tell"" was a person." -Your necklace tells me everything I need to know about you. This is not a compliment. -"What the hell happened to your arm in the third pic, it looks really weird. With that tiny hand it looks like a fuckin water balloon that hasn’t filled up all the way yet, or something." -I ain't seen the back of a head I don't like yet.lol -Not gonna do it. Thanks for your service young man -thanks for your service -The garrison gropper. -I genuinely thought you were a lesbian. -I see they are making a part 2 to G.I. Jane -Ofc you’re an Army Medic. You look like you’ve seen multiple people die knowing you could’ve changed the outcome but didnt because they took your favorite strap-on. -Sucking the life out of dicks doesn’t make you a medic -You look like you suck dick for gas money and drive a tesla -Vegan Matt Rife with cancer -You're stuck with the face of trying to force out a fart -"100% chance your entire outfit was purchased at the PX, you’re wearing combat boots with your jeans, and you suck dick" -This looks like a post an Army Reservist would make. -I know you transitioned but I can’t figure out which way. -"You’re the primary reason why real men don’t join the Army any more lol … now, even the closet homosexuals are brainwashed into serving a dead evil war machine!" -Didn’t see the sub and assumed this was a lesbian looks maxing advice post. -I bet your girl pegs you -You must be the new practice girl we use before we go to the strip clubs and pick up prettier ones. Thanks homie. See your cute ass at the motor pool tomorrow. -Prettiest lesbian I've ever seen. -Nah your hot 😭 -"Nice jewelry soldier. Congrats, you look like a discount gypsy." -On this weeks episode of queer eye for the wounded guy …. -"Good on you, keep it up!" -Thank you for your cervix! -"Don’t ask, don’t tell -Applies here 💯" -"""here, take this 800mg ibuprofen and some water"" is just short of ""Hey! Would you like fries with that?""" -The only thing smaller than your dick is your scope of practice -"being an army medic sounds intense! Mad respect for what you do, seriously. Saving lives and all that, it's some real superhero stuff. And being high on life? That's the vibe we all need, man. Keep rocking that positive energy, it's infectious! Don't let anyone take you down a peg, you're doing awesome work out there." -I catch you at work with those stupid ass earrings and you’ll be pushing till lunch. Look like an idiot -Negative soldier. You like you already got pegged. -Twink Gallagher? -Elliot Page has reached her/his final form. -You look like a slightly more homosexual dream -I'd hit -Looks like Sean Penn fucked Quagmire -Did the military pay for your gender reassignment surgery? -"90% of the roasts on this sub: ""you look gay hahahah"" - -It was funny the first times, now it's just meh" -"i figured the drill seargent would've already slapped the pretty-boy out of you, yet here we are" -"Quit lyin' to us, ""doc"", you work in a clinic on post at a training facility popping blisters on privates' heels" -ur kinda beautiful so this is hard ur arm looks funny tho -Omg Din Winchester -"You say army but actually mean national guard. - -P.S. thanks for serving and I dont get the low effort gay jokes." -I can’t explain it but You somehow look like a male lesbian -Are you FtM? -Did the Army pay for your transition surgery? -Why would anyone want to take you down a peg. You risk your life for all of us and you save lives. Thanks for all that you do. I am not good at roasting people who are contributing to our society. -No roast you're gorgeous lmao -damn -I have so much respect for you!!! Keep saving lives and making a difference 🔥🔥🔥 -"I bet a 5 minute conversation where you don’t talk about your body, your job, your country, or anything tangential to those topics is agony for you. And yet you probably don’t understand why the people you flirt with end up ghosting you." -Which part of 670-1 authorizes you to wear earrings Soldier? -Why does it look like YOU were the barracks bunny? -You're a bottom bitch. -Can definitely tell this guy is ALWAYS voluntold for 1SG's late night last minute details on deployment. -That smile says “I just sucked a dick”. Got the lips for it too -"You got into an accident when you were younger and now you have an eyebrow slit for the rest of yr life. Not sure if you actually realized you were gay after the fact or if you just figured you already looked enough like a twink to warrant the cheap yet permanent jewelry, but let’s just say the shitty leather jacket isn’t doing you any favors." -Thank you for your service! -Fingerings dudes in the barracks shower doesn't make you a medic -"Yea not going to roast yah, was a medic for a security service and what I can say for a fact though, don’t forget to treat yourself. My knees and hips are gone from sprinting around with a hip kit, back pack, and lugging around kit and people. My shoulder took 3 years to be back to decent too. Keep it up and take care" -The oil war your buddy lost his leg too was worth the $.05 discount on gas I got. Thank you for your service. -You look like you became a doctor just to finish your own DYI FTM transition -Take you down with a Peg is what you clearly meant. -Ngl i respect the job too much to really roast you. But your arm looks like someone is pumping air into it -Millitwink -What box do you check when the forms ask M or F? -You look like a retired dyke. -Funny you used the word “peg”. -You’re gonna be a great lesbian P.E. teacher -You look like you have had to wipe your ass with a sock on more than one occasion -"We won't. - -But the PTSD sure will" -You look like you'd give me a good time for 10 $ -youre the physical imbodiment of somebody running down a hill -"Wars over, pal." -What shade is that lipstick?? 💄💄 -can’t tell if your a guy or girl -Speaking of peg… -"The Army hasn't fought a war in over 4 years and probably won't fight one within the next 20. This guy is going to spend his whole Army career on glorified welfare. Hey man, be sure to thank the taxpayer for your handout." -"Idk if I want to roast you man you look like you are already about to cry with that forced smile. \*cracks knuckles\* but here I go anyway. Looks like that scar on your eyebrow is from you accidental smashing you head on the side of a coffee table but you always give the story like ""I hit it on something stupid"" or ""you should see the other guy. You look like you have a lifetime membership and Pac Sun and you intend to get any children you have a lifetime membership as well if you ever procreate. You look like you hit the gym every day do 3 reps on high weight grunt really loud and high five yourself since you don't have friends. You look like you got rejected by the love of your life over some dude named Chad or Blake or Brian or some shit then you tried to copy their style but she still didn't like you. You look like you got to a party and drink Mikes Hard Lemonade and whenever someone talks to you all you say is ""hahaha yeah"" and nothing else. Your expression gives me ""my parents got divorced and neither one wanted me"" energy. You look like someone got you an anime body pillow as a joke, but you ended up actually really liking it and named it Hatsune-san and that is the closest thing you have ever gotten to a real relationship. You look like you failed community college and where denied access to the military because of ADHD. To make up for that you still live with your parents and are trying to get a manager position at Dicks Sporting Goods. I could go on." -"ALWAYS PROTECT DOC!!!! Anyways, hey man, I got this bump on my dick, can you take a look at it real quick?" -Nah enjoy your high! Thanks for saving lives. Be humble and let this fact surprise people when they ask what you do. I’m NOT GONNA SAY women love a hero but women love a hero -I got nothing bro thank u for ur service -"I just want to take a moment to appreciate that after years of evolution the best comeback the internet as a whole can come up with is still - -"" you're gay lol"" - -😂 - -But to be fair you did ask for a ""comeback"" they might be right 👀" -"You look like you're either the most kindhearted guy around or a massive insufferable douche  -It's also giving closeted bisexual " -"Nice try, seeing if you could bait some doc/medic slander outta me - -Even if you do look like a somehow gayer Ellen Degeneres on Test, I’ll always love you bro" -Something happens to most soldiers during basic training. They completely lose the ability to wear civilian clothing. I mean they look downright fucking stupid when not in uniform. Glad to see that it has happened to you too. -Dude looks like he’s on female HRT -EMT Basic -comment -The plain version of plain -"Boring , not bored." -You look like your favorite sex position is writing a manifesto -Dang girl you look like you return library books on time. -"You’re bored, and now r/RoastMe has to suffer…" -Lots of different looks but they’re all horrible -Wow… you clean up mediocre -All this metal piercings and still you don‘t attract anyone -The face of a woman who's cats keep running away -I respect that you had the courage to show up to that wedding as a Maid of Horror. -Your own dildo probably goes limp on you.. -"By the looks of things, you think Olive Garden is classy restaurant to get engaged at" -"More grease than home made chips," -Your beak looks sharp. -They use your forehead to grease down bowling lanes -"You look like you have more personalities, than IQ points." -The metal detector isn’t even attracted to you -Shut up Meg. -No way you are 21. You look more like 28-32. -Beige. All I see is fucking beige. -"""I'm bored"" - -- Every Guy you had Sex with, after just laying on your back like a dead fish. - -At least you keep it real Honey." -Principal Trunchbull’s origin story -"Hmmm…I’m going to take a good guess and say your nose, nipples and penis are all the same length" -You look like you give very unenthusiastic hand jobs whilst looking at your phone. -if you were drowning I'd give you a high 5 -I can smell the cat piss through my screen. -No seasoning -Does your forehead make up half your bodyweight? -I didn't know lord voldemort had hair -"You look like..... never mind I lost the interest, like every guy you've been on a date with." -If a used suppository was a real person -I kept scrolling to the left with unsuccessful hopes. It was like witnessing radiation exposure before and after. -Roast you? I mean yeah....what else would we do with a pig? -"11 tattoos, 16 piercings, and no personality." -The ring in your nose only indicates that you will never have one on your finger -Probably time to start a Feet Finder with those gargantuan hooves you have. -Have you considered renting your forehead as billboard space? Or will nothing stick to that grease slick? -Is that ring in your nose so we can pull you away from the buffet when you’ve had your fill -https://farmingfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Why-Do-Cows-Have-Nose-Rings.jpg -You'll grow into that forehead one day -"These all look like ""Before"" pictures in a nose job brochure" -Ew -You should try to calm down your right eye and hairline so they'll stop running away from each other. -More like 31 F -Pre or post transition? We may never know. -Maid of dishonor -pregnant after first time -You misspelled stupid. -"This is not a roast, your eyebrow piercing bump looks concerning and you should make sure it's not an infection." -It's as Anne as the nose on Plain's face. -"In 5 hours you’ll delete this after one of your friends comments they saw it and tells you, “You’re not as fat as they’re saying.”" -Molly Cyrus the Virus! -Tell me your liar 🤥 without telling me your a liar -That's not a forehead that's a 54head -"Since you don't get any wiener, it only makes sense you own one." -Her whole personality consists of her piercings -"Did you accidentally ask for the ""Tom Cruise"" when you got your smiley piercing?" -"Having looked at your pics, now we're all bored. - -You are, without a doubt, the most ""beige"" person I've ever seen." -I bet your Spotify is just Taylor Swift and podcasts about self love. -Seeing Marilyn Manson without his makeup is so surreal. -dear fucking god please tell me you took that eyebrow piercing out that thing looks like it’s gonna explode??? -Dollar General Mona Lisa. -"Just shy of being mid...missed it by a mile. - -Got some bad news for ya...uncle daddy's is not coming home. I'm sure he's got his Bud light but it's been 15 years. - -You look like type of gal who has emotional issues you'd probably throw paint stripper on your ex's car. - -Are you bored because your cousin said that you should just stay cousins for a while?" -For once I was happy to click on a profile and NOT see the NSFW warning -Like a manilla folder on a beige wall. -Katpiss neverclean -Girl you have a circulation problem common sign is club finger nails -The world would 100% be a better place without septum piercings 🙄 -somehow manage to look like you’ve got a bad dye job as both a blonde and a brunette -Congratulations on your new cat -I know a McPoyle when I see one - HIIII U LOOK PRETTYY -Death by snu-snu -I think I saw this girl on a billboard about basic white bitch or something like that. -"After seeing your photos, I now think I'm attractive.." -I’m guessing daddy wasn’t around much. -Damn forehead looking like a highway. Hairdresser has to drive to get to your hair line -Damn those high testosterone levels -"If the strip club and only fans doesn't work out, I'm sure Wendy's will hire ya." -When did Brent Spiner transition? -She looks like family guy ( maybe herr father) -Female gru vibes. Especially 2nd pic. -It’s Gail the Snail! -You look like you steal men's pubes to use in rituals. -You look like vanilla ice cream tastes. -You can fold clothes on her forehead. -Would not bang -"You look like a woman who wants 40 cats, but those cats want nothing to do with you." -How was rumspringa? -"I hate the snotcatcher. -That's all." -I bet you could palm a watermelon -Always a Wiccan bridesmaid; never a Wiccan bride. -You look like a popsicle that doesn’t have a joke written on the stick. -"That type of nose piercing looks pretty fuckin stupid. Looks very unattractive on women. Thus, ew." -sis tried every genre of girl and none of them worked -My rope won't fit in your nose ring. -"How can I say this?… - -You’re kind of a butterface except you also don’t have a good body." -"I genuinely think you are absolutely gorgeous, but I tend to be attracted to unattractive people so there’s that…" -"Damn! Call the nearby farmer another one of his cows escaped his pasture. This one must have lost her ear tag. - -P.S-Seriously the bull ring is not attractive!" -The Day the Music Died. -Plain flour has more personality than you. -The perfect face for radio! -"Always a bridesmaid, never the bride." -And definitely lonely -I've never wanted to fuck something less than I do looking at you. That includes running blenders and pencil sharpeners. -Not even a toaster would fry your boring ass in the bath tub it would at the very least remove your genital warts. -"that’s cool, did you know that the human anus can fit 2 full grown raccoons. Did you also know that my dog died of a heat stroke a few years ago. Womp womp not cool on my dogs part." -"You look like the opposite of the movie Taken, the kidnappers drop you off at home." -"You're gonna make someone very happy to be your partner one day, you look like someone it would be cool to hang out with, I bet you have great taste in music, I love your boots!" -This witch can summon disillusionment charm spell. (For context: look at the third picture and try to find her sunglasses) -Enjoys plain bagel with cream cheese -"damn girl, are you Iowa? because you're really plain and mid af" -"""Even stink would say that stinks"" - Fat Bastard, in Austin Powers." -"Are you out yet? You do know, though, yes? - -It’s OK." -Your pretty :) -"Honestly, You Look Fabulous. Love the curly look on you!" -"That's not a forehead, it's a fivehead" -Could be cute but those nose rings are weird makes me think what if I tied it to a string and hit a stake in the ground watch you on all 4s like a cow -I’m not even roasting you. The post above you in my feed is Roxanne Green who burned down the first abortion clinic in Wyoming. It’s you. With glasses. -"Holy shit! If it wasn’t for the piercings and awkward fat deposits, you’d be a PERFECT 5!" -Why do they ALL have nose rings -Idk what’s more sad that she’s too regular looking to roast or that 90% of the people roasting would still smash -just a few rings from gollum -You look like someone you would see walk down the hall to class like 3 times throughout the school year and thats it. Just a nameless background character. -Your clothing choices offend me. -Find a hobby you look fine. Also put ur self out there u would be surprised at how many ppl are interested in you. Believe in your self you got it. Forget any Debbie downers. -Pic #2 looks like she’d kick #1’s ass with 3-5 laughing about it -Ngl going back to brown hair def saved you the blonde made you look like ur balding -Gurl you look like someone who would address someone respectfully -I would love to knock you up -You look very nice in the last few photos very stylish i must say. But also the type of woman who would be excited about going to your buddies pet funeral. -Was photo 2 when you experimented with strap-ons? -You look like the girl that all the guys think they can fix. -You look like you do marketing for an up and coming MLM -"Face is plain and shrapneled. Tits like acorns but wide, child bearing hips. I give you two camels, is good deal my friend." -Your piercings are stupid and annoying -ngl you're so basic I cant think of anything -"''Im boring 21F'' there, fixed it for ya" -she is so boring that boring can't even began to explain how boring she is. She is as boring as boring can possibly be boring -"You’re bored, so is everyone else looking at that ponytail for the last 21 years" -"Her Pronouns are ""Wtf is that thing?""" -Went to a frat house a virgin..... left still a virgin and being pitied by an apple pie. -So are we. -Why do you need us to roast you when I'm sure your platoon sergeant does five times a day. -Damm Gollum from lord of the rings is a girl -I think most guys get bored having sex with you -Is it possible to be the most plain person in existence? -You still look like you could get coerced into banging a 15 year old. -You look like a second grade teacher -Is it true what they say about women with big feet? -You forgot to update your profile biography to 21 -You’re more bland than communion crackers. You’re so dull it negates your tattoos and piercings. -I wasn’t going to respond but you know the old saying! Take the bull by the horns so I did. -"Congrats on the wedding... - -Bet you were surprised to even be invited." -The rare instance where a girl looks better when they dont try -You meant borING -*boring. There. Fixed it for you. -Let’s get it -Your hair looks like it smells of grease and cigarettes. -Concealed carry or insulin pump..? -How hasn’t any person commented on how you’re in the armed forces… -"Advice: before posting a picture of yourself online, lower the resolution" -"I see you brought your dinner in picture 5, what pasture is your favorite" -The most seamen (semen) she’ll ever get near is in that ocean pic! -That's what everyone says after meeting you for 5min. -You look like you moved to Hawaii and consider yourself a local -When did you transition? -Could cook a batch of French fries from the grease in that hair. -You remind me of 2 girls one cup -That nose should be reserved for Mount Rushmore -Bored=Boring Not even worth a roast. -"The booger hook says "" I'm bored"" that's for sure." -You can take the girl out the street but never the street out the girl -You look like 3 different persons. -You forgot to wash the corn oil out of your hair. -Yes sir -"“S’up Dra'nakyuek, Destroyer of Worlds. Congrats on stomping that village yesterday”" -You look like the type of girl to say “I just want someone nice for a change” and then reject them hard when they finally come around -"(Wo)Man, if some one put a magnet near your face you'd be stuck like that one spongebob episode," -" - -even with your intense electromagnetic attraction(inspired from top comment) and astronomical gravitational pull, you still seem to pull none." -"What happened to you, girl? You were so full of hope and innocence, and now look at you." -"Next time you wann feel something, take a 9V block battery and touch it with your piercings." -*boring -You look like the human version of an unenthusiastic handjob -You look like you use a different pronoun in each picture -Is your sexual orientation 'permanently single' or are you just scaring off potential dates with that piercing glare? -Your mom emphasizes that you have a great personality and can cook even to total strangers doesn’t she OP? -"Very rarely do I see a girl where one can say goofy as hell, but here we are" -You look like a Madeline Zima clone if they dropped the Petri dish. -You look like the spokesperson for a product that doesn’t work. -Discount “Im in me mums car” girl -Even if I carry 200kAmp electric magnet I can’t be attracted to ya those metal piercings make ya look like those native Americans from Aztec empire period -You look like you’re auditioning for the role of “most likely to get lost in a Hot Topic.” Nailed the look! -"You look like you tried to wash off yesterday's bad decisions, but they’re still hanging on like your wet hair. Quite the signature look!" -If white cotton panties were a person -You look like a cautionary tale your parents tell your younger siblings about what happens when you give up on yourself. -You look like your therapist charges you extra. They deserve a medal for patience. -You're bored? So is every partner you've ever had. -"They all stink somewhat , but I can tell that yours is a bit more sour than most." -"If depression, boredom, and bisexuality could be distilled into a person, it'd be you." -When “The Fat Part of the Bell Curve” describes every single aspect of your true self. 🚀 -You look like an Adam’s family reject -Did you dip your hair in the deep fat fryer? -Keffals really let herself go -Wait do you have a tooth piercing? -Ur the human equivalent of a wet dog -That 3rd pic looks like you were trying to hide a boner -Why are you bored? Shouldn’t you be filming the next season of Loki? -I masturbated to you twice already and I’m still not satisfied -"I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse." -The middle stages of marylin mansion having a sex change. -Walking proof that traction alopecia can occur as early as age 21!!! -"How can you tell she's a virgin -Got no brothers" -You have a weinerdog because that is the only weiner you get to see. -You look like a hospital patient in every photo -Cute. Would taste. -"Thats a backwards slide show from an meth addict. -Youre not bored, you are soon divorced" -The picture of you in the grey T-shirt shows the outline of your dick tucked up in your waistband. -Your arms are so flabby you could get lift off if you flapped hard enough. -"""Bored"" and ""Lazy"" aren't the same thing. Ex. It's not ""I'm too bored to shower."". It's ""I'm too lazy to shower.""." -I get bored too looking at you -You look homeless but like you just got out of rehab and are staying at a half way house -Your forehead looks like it can still see last week -Caitlin Clark if she was any unsexier. If that even possible? -You Spelled boring wrong. -ur future husband will be saying the same thing whenever u guys r having sex -"you should keep your hair blonde! it’s really giving off that jojo siwa look, which is the best look you’ve achieved so far" -When did you transition? -"If someone tells you that you look pretty with all those bull rings, they're lying." -But you're so cute though! Coming from a 918 Lezzy haha -"Boredom can be cured with locking pliers, 100ft of rope, and something fast. Tie pliers to fast vehicle and locking pliers. Attach locking pliers to random piercing. Have friend drive away. If you’re a masochist, forego the fast vehicle and use a toddler’s electric car instead." -Let’s smash -Now this time I really thought this was a picture of a dude. I'm dead serious -Hi Bored. It is very nice to meet you. -"Wow, you really clean up poorly!" -I bet you've been bored many times.... -You don’t look 21. You look like you got a 21 year old daughter though. -You look like you stopped showering ages ago to not rust all that fake jewelry hanging off your face. -Your hair somehow looks wet like you washed it but also dirty at the same time. -"You misspelled ""boring""." -You look like a pinup girl for whiteclaw -You look like you need to remain 500 feet from any school building -average disney fan's gums. -You look like a Brook. -You look like female Jared Leto -You look like a school teacher who has trouble keeping the class quiet. -"Not exactly a roast, but what was it like leaving the vault only to land in the enrichment center?" -Face tattoos would suit you -"If you only had fans, but you can't." -U look much older -You look like my sister! -You look like it takes a lot for you not to smell like cat piss. -"We get it, they/them" -You mean flat as a board -"She’s quiet, where can I find her?" -What you trying to attract with all that metal in your face? More iron? Or do you have an attraction to magnets? -Seems like you have a picture for each personality -Bjs only go so far -You're beautiful -Is your real name Mona B. Lisa? -You look like a metal spoon falling apart 😔😔 -Could wring out your hair and have enough oil to fry a batch of French fries. -"Always the bridesmaid and never the bride, that’s because brides want ugly bridesmaids to make them look better. " -Does anyone else smell moth balls? -At first i thought your nose was big. Then i saw your shoulders. -I’m bored. (Just looking at ya) -Looks like you're a different person each day. -You misspelled boring -Can you do the HAWK TUEH -You look like you hang out outside 7-Elevens all day -Zooey Deschanel's meh double ganger. -If you’re bored then you’re boring -comment -I would ask you to wear two pairs of gloves if I saw you making my sandwich. -"Yes, I would like a side of HPV with my sandwich." -Employees that look like you is the reason McDonald’s is moving to kiosks -I bet you know your way around a roast beef sandwich. -Your hair looks like you saw someone pee in the pool but you went in anyways -I thought this was one of those shitty Reddit ads for jimmy johns disguised as a regular post. -It's the run of the mill etsy girl art school package. There's even a bass note tattoo to let you know this is the basic edition. Premium comes with a bag of fertilizer so you can grow your own at home. -"""I'm 23, a Leo and have the fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's"" - -A lot of words just to say, ""I've failed.""" -"I love your 1st photo. I bet you had the same facial expression when you saw your first penis. - -I get it. Dads can be real assholes." -You better use those fast hands to brush them yellow ass teeth... -Wipe the snot off your bull ring before work next time. -You put the “myd” in Chlamydia. -I can smell the cat piss infused into your clothes just from looking at this. -You look like the trans version of Kyle Rittenhouse. -This is the food inspector. We are shutting Jimmy Johns with immediate effect. We found a Green hairy slimy goopy substance with Ink stains on Hand like structure. -Whats your Onlyflab handle??? -Go work at a massage parlour. Use those fast hands to give fat guys happy endings instead of sandwiches. -I see you got the dyed hair/nose ring/stupid tattoo package...that's a great substitute for a personality. -You look like the pigeon lady from home alone 2 -Astrology and food service. We’ve roasted this combination enough for one lifetime  -"you should shower more than once a year. - -even if the customers like the extra flavouring from all the grease that drips off that nasty hair." -"Bragging about your handywork around Jimmys, and Johns. Congratulations girl - you got a future in prostitution! And you look the part too 😉" -You’ve used your fast hands for Jimmy and John. -"You’d probably cry during sex, but I’m betting nobody has been that drunk and desperate" -Ok tell the truth...you're not into men -You didn't pay for those doodles on your arm did you? -You like look Curt Cobain looks right now. -Your mom must be making bank selling lap dances to be able to afford your PhD in Rimming. -You look like disgust from inside out if she spent all her money on black tar heroin. -"Your arms are as big as a dudes, have you thought about training for MMA career?" -You can't hide your low self esteem with dye and ink. You're literally just a worse Oscar the Grouch. -You definitely used to pick cigs up from the sidewalk and smoke them -Damn all I gotta do hop on this page when I think I’m having a bad day sheeesh -How’s the liberal arts degree working in your adult life -Get back to work SpongeBob -She gives hand jobs to the homeless men in the back alley. Just to be validated -Having my sandwich made by a person who looks like they themselves are past shelf-date and are growing mold is a fantastic customer approach. -You look like Popeye's emo niece -You look like you don’t matter. Even taking the 30 seconds I did to comment this feels like a waste of my time. -If I saw you making my sandwich I’d have the fastest ass out the door -At least we know why they keep you in back...yeesh! -"The fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's? - -How does it feel knowing that you have peaked?" -I'd rather go to Subway with Jared making my sandwich. -"If i saw you behind the counter, id walk out. If you dont wash your hair, no fucking way you wash your hands" -"“I prefer hanging out with guys, girls are too much drama”" -Wow l am confused what is more Roasted ? You or the coffee beans at Jimmy John. -"you look like jimmy gave birth to john and his star sign is "" i hate my dad""" -I can smell you through the pictures -"So when your boyfriend says, ""Make me a sandwich!"" you should have no problems?" -"You look like an accidental collection of cells that could have been something more useful and significant , like maybe barnacles or a moth." -Can't even commit to a hair colour let alone a gender. -Look at her practicing to support the patriarchy she hates so much -"Gotta have the fastest hands with a face like that - -You look like a moldy pear - -You look like the girl that guys lie about not having sex with - -Alt is nice but you arent supposed to be the alt for attractiveness" -…and of course you have a bass clef tattoo. -Did you pull your hair out of the lettuce bin? -ok so Are you jokers side chick or boy toy or something whats with the green hair the i cant tell what gender you are the terrible tats and piercings ? are you like in line to be the next Harly Quinn or something? -Guess your little crypto troupe didn't work out so great if you're still working at JJ 🤷‍♂️ -I just saw a longhorn steer in Texas that wore the nose ring better. Go clean the masturbation out from under your fingernails and get the fuck back to work. -"You’re so unique! The dyed hair, cow ring, and basic shitty tattoos are a great personality. The only thing missing is wearing a crystal necklace so you can pretend the universe loves you more than your dad did." -you look like you're the one giving unenthusiastic blowjobs on lunch time in exchange for cigarretes -When did Kyle rittwnhouse go into weakling protection program? -Looks like someone made “my chemical romance” in your hair -"Ew, gross" -Nose rings are gross. Stop embarrassing yourself.  -I don’t want to roast u; but I also don’t want you anywhere near food. -Your hair looks like diarrhea. That’s all I got.. -You look like one of those festival hippies that stink and don’t believe deodorant. -"Welfare, if it was a person" -You look like a Jimmy John. -Just just look like you stink -The trick to life is to start at the bottom not start as a bottom. -Temu version of the chick fil a girl -Jimmy John’s will never let you go given that your hair can also double as a mop. Very economic of you 👏 -she only uses her hands to make sandwiches because no man wants her to touch them -Your hair looks like it reeks of Kool cigarettes and old Chef Boyardee raviolis -The weed is leaking out of your hair. -You’re hair looks like spinach with mold growing on it -Wish.com version of the Chik fil a girl. -"You were supposed to feel compassion for Oscar the Grouch, not want to be him when you grow up." -Fastest sandwich making hands also are “fastest handjob for the assistant manager in the office on my dinner break” hands. Maybe you’ll get that 35 cent raise. Maybe you won’t. Can Chad really give raises or is he just talking big? -Bull ring? Who owns you? -You are definitely woke -You look like your own highest quality is being the quickest sandwich maker at a Jimmy John’s. -Fastest hands with buns im sure -It shows. -Oh you are pinned down! -The first photo with your green hair if Keemit the Frog magically became human it would be you -"Straight outta the sewer! -Please dont touch my order. - -I can smell shit through the picture" -What kind of gender is making my sandwich -Like a used truck stop condom personified. -How are you so greasy if they don’t have fryers? -"Yeah well I'm sure that's the only meat you touch on a daily basis, with ya ""my dad left when I was 10,"" looking ass." -Pls share with the world how on earth did you grow grass on your head -...way to prove your parents wrong. They thought you'd never learn anything skipping class to give handies behind the bleachers in high school. -Ain't no Jimmy on them Johns. -You blow your weed dealer dont you -You certainly look like you know how to Jimmy a John. -"For fucks sake put on a hairnet, no one wants to taste pubes in their sub" -Bros hair is like the grinches pubes -Not Employee Of The Week yet? Such a loser. -Leo-me-alone -oscar the grouch lookin ass bitch -Obviously you’ve peaked. Congrats. This is as good as it gets for you . -A career at Jimmy John’s. This just seems so fitting. -If Oscar the grouch was white  -"That’s a roundabout way of saying, “I give mediocre handjobs.”" -I'll bet my life savings that you'll never win employee of the month. -"Leo? You look more like a Capricorn. - -/no idea if that's an insult, but it seems like you might think it is" -How can you look stinky? -"Working with potatoes so long made your body actually turn into one 🥔… p.s, your posture is awesome!, reminds me of a Quaver (a different type of potato)" -I'm a Leo and I have the fastest Jimmy John's sandwich eating mouth in my family and you're ugly. -"That's one way to say ""I'm a complete loser""." -you would be cuter bent over a fryer -"You look friendlier than this girl I know that also has green hair. She didn't want to do her job at this mechanic shop near my house, and she got fired cause she didn't show up to work." -Looks like a troll sneezed in your hair -looks about like I expected -"You can make all the sandwiches you want, but you still can’t make your parents proud of you" -Shit girl. Even I wouldn’t suck your farts. 💨 -I'll take the patchouli and armpit hair combo with a large side of bed bugs please. -I didn't even say your name 3 times and you're still gonna pop up on my feed? -You work at the literal worst sandwich shop franchise. Even worse than Blimpie. -"I hate to break it to you, but when people send you SMH, they don't mean sandwich making hands" -Sandwich making hands? With those sausage fingers? Cross contamination is a lot more serious than your fast food job -"A Subway operative with the mission of repulsing Jimmy John’s customers, ultimately leading to the franchise closing." -"Please keep getting tats and piercings and talking about pronouns, I’m sure your life will end up happy" -Saving 3 minutes on brushing your teeth to get started early doesn't really make you the fastest. -All the time spent homeless in the streets giving handys to get by finally paid off. Can make a sandwich in 3.2 seconds -You look like you smell of gherkins -Can smell your vagina from across the Atlantic -"“Those idiot republicans and their stupid religion. By the way, I’m a Leo.”" -Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich -first pick looks like ugly squidward -START LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB! -You joined the Antifa facebook group and think you’re a true warrior standing up for something good. -What does being a Leo have to do with it other than thinking astrology is real and being insufferable? -Your sandwich making hands would make you a fine wife for some dude. Too bad you’re a total carpet muncher. -Your shitty tattoos look like the underside of my desk in 4th grade. -You forgot to write lesbian -Got those quick hands from giving hand jobs to your coworkers in the back room -Someone gets 20$ Friday the 13th tattoos exclusively… -You will never truly be happy -You look like you would be featured on a blackpayback video -looks like you dipped your head into battery acid and sewage. -"Congrats on your transition! - - -But please remind me which way was it?" -"Fastest hand jobs, too." -You look manky…. Must be in the back of the kitchen and not front of house -"At least you don’t have to worry about your coworkers hitting on you. - -Or your sober customers." -That septum piercing is the opposite of unique. -Sanji tattooo -I don’t like Jimmy John’s anymore. - Not even a Loyal Fans could save you -Ew -They keep you in the back so you don't scare people away -Fastest hands and still no girlfriend. -Hair nets do be optional when ur freaky and fast -"You look like the spokesperson for every liberal that nobody wants to talk to because you've nothing interesting to add to the conversation, aside from the completely unhinged rants. Those are pretty entertaining, not gonna lie." -"Zodiac usage, boom roasted" -"We could be here all day... - - -23 and still work in fast food - -Hair color - grow up - -That tattoo...red flag for bad life choices. Not to be outdone by the nose ring. Are you trying to piss off your parents? - -And posting this means you crave attention." -The tattoos and hair tell me you blame other people a lot. -It looks like your estrogen supplements ran out last month -You're Jimmying those Johns all right -"Well, fastest sandwich maker sounds just about right, pretty sure that's the only thing you're good for." -Welp I'm never eating Jimmy johns again -hey at least your hair matches the discharge in your pants -You look like what happens when a vegan and a meth head do a fusion dance with a bag of dicks. -She has that non binary stare -Shut up and make me a god damn sandwich. -Take a shower -"Color in your hair, piercings in your nose, tattoos on your arms. You’re like a younger girl version of me. I cannot roast someone that I see so much of myself in." -She's one of those astrology girls the news is warning you about in LA. Don't date this one during an eclipse. -Those floor tiles have more personality. -"God damn I wanna talk shit but, I’d rather hire you.lol" -That’s definitely a real flower growing out of your dusty ass head. -Take a fucking shower -Wash your hair Jesus fucking Christ -They hired her for the free smells -You give free smells -The handjob for $10 joke in real life. Wash your hands and make me a sandwich -What is it about shit back alley tattoos and badly dyed hair that gets awkward self hating emos so intrigued? -Leo? you looks like a Virgo -Better than the fastest handjobs i guess -"Um, sir? Can you please wear a mask when making my sandwich? No…it’s not about Covid." -Damn you transitioned from the Jimmy Johns’s guy on here yesterday to a trans FAST. -I am not sure if your a man or woman. -"Fastest hands, huh? I bet your brother told you that." -"Damn, you made onions cry!" -"""fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's"" ... that's like saying I have the best pancake tits in the trailer park, which you obviously don't. The septuagenarian in the double-wide still has better." -You simply look like you are allergic to showering. -We know you don't wash your hands and handle STDs real quick too. That's Jimmy John's off the list of places I want to eat now. -You're into astrology -I know for a fact that you smell and I've never met you -Midlife Crisis at 23 -"Your parents would be disappointed, if only you had any" -You mistyped “jerking off hands.” -I wouldn’t eat the sandwich if I saw you on the grill -"You work at Jimmy’s. - -Need i say more?" -You’re cute and have a have a meatball marinara? -Smile girl xoxo -I'm not gonna roast you. Life is roasting you with that wagie job. -Do those sandwiches come with pronouns? Do I need to ask it for consent before I eat it? -"The floor mop goes back into the bucket when you're done, you'll just get hair all over it wearing it on your head." -Oscar the grouch with anemia -"Every time a new gender comes out, you adopt it." -"You don’t put bumper stickers on a Ferrari, guess you’re a used Honda civic." -POV you took a PHD in art history. -You give off very scurvy vibes and I feel uncomfortable assuming your gender. -Getting them/they vibes -I don’t know if you’re a boy or girl -Did you get lost on the way to Starbucks? -If only you could sort your life out as quick as you can a sandwich -Weird way to say you’ve failed life -"You look like marla hooch, buy not as pretty" -Using sandwich meat grease as hair moisturizer eh 😮 -It's like Oscar The Grouch and Dora had a disappointing daughter (?) -"pic 1- who shit on your sub sandwich ? pic 2- ok, nice. happy happy joy joy ;)" -Leo here too!!! -When did you transition? -"Good for you - already tattooed ""minimum wage"" beforehand." -"Take the bull ring out, you'll still be ugly but trrruuuuussstt me." -Putting that you’re a Leo in your bio tells me everything I need to know about you. “I have zero accountability and everything I do wrong or all of my flaws can be blamed on my astrological sign.” -Easy freaks are freaky fast -“Sandwich making” hands. That’s what they call them now? -Look like ur headed to a days n daze show after work -You have reached your peak life abilities nothing ahead of you now except endlessly making sandwich after sandwich and talking about your nonexistent glory days. -You look like even the LGBTQ community didn’t want you -Pure gormless. -"Can I get a beach club, but please hold the yeast infection? Thanks." -They call her lightning lefty Leo in the streets -"You need to use those hands to wash that nappy hair girl, damn. Mayos not a hair product" -"Honestly, I cant tell if your a dude or a chick.." -Is that what they call the kitchen in women's prison? -Is that white girl dreads? 😂 that 😻 probably hairy af all natural like in the 60s -I prefer my sandwich makers to not be so frumpy. -"Smells tuna, tastes like chicken sandwich." -Typical bass player. -I don’t think you want to tell any guys about how much meat you’ve touched -Participation Trophy ~~Wife~~ Side Piece. -If I seen you working anywhere I'd walk straight back out -Izz ok. Iz only smells. -You better not touch my sandwich before you wash those hands bitch! -"How about you do your job instead of seeking attention, while on the clock." -"You got bad posture, and you can tell that you have saggy tits." -"Sir, that isn't hair, that's the extra grass clippings outside my house..." -I hope you know that you work for a company that was founded by a poacher. 😖 -Jimmy wouldn’t let you touch his John -Keep em coming Old Gregg -Not good enough for Jersey Mikes I guess -Fastest hands in Jimmy's parking lot... -The perfect cross between a Hillbilly and a Hippie -And that’s the only hand job anyone wants from you. -OP uses this line to customers to make some extra cash behind Jimmy Johns -At least tell us the pussy isn't in keeping with one of your sandwiches. -You look like you could forearm curl a shitton. -"Please acknowledge me. I will laugh but there is a flaw in my programming that has been exploited by all of social media. While we're at it, underneath all of what's on the face of this application, have my data. It's for sale." -The septum just got to goooo -"I asked for NO patchouli and dog shit on my sandwich. OH, that's just you." -Green hair -You look like you would excel at Jimmy John's. -You look like Popeye's daughter -"You look like a modern-day Disney version of Typhoid Mary. - -I can also smell you from here and I want decide if it's the onions or the body odor." -"Green hair -Tattoos -Astrology sign believer" -The kief flakes falling from your hair alone should get that place shut down. -"Youre already roasting yourself with these pics and caption, no need" -"All the green hair dye, horoscopes, the septum ring, the tattoos and your rejection of the patriarchy and you still ended up making sandwiches. Destiny is a bitch, ain’t it?" -"I see you bought the ""I wanna look like a liberal"" starter kit from eBay. - -Comes with: - --nose ring - --expired hair color - --stained clothes with holes in them - --nickname creator - --3 STD tests - --welfare application - --3 dudes phone numbers that'll still hit it despite looking like the tread worn off 5 years ago" -Get back to the dish pit -She’s the queen of farts. -Billie Ew-lish -Puts a whole new meaning to their sign “free smells” -You don’t look like a law enforcement officer -Congratulations for rising to your pinnacle of achievement. -Looks like you got some spoiled lettuce on your head -"Ah, ol motor-hands herself" -So you know how to work jimmy john meat fast. So can anyone -"You’re a leo, the last thing you need is more attention" -"Cool story, now go make me a sandwich" -"could he have your number, actually, I guess" -"A Leo, or a lion like the one in the wizard of Oz. - -Whats confusing me though is you look more like the scarecrow on a bad day and missing a brain with it." -Do you make LGTBQIA+ sandwiches? 🤣 -Her face says it all -"You look like an ugly version of Billie Eilish, without the enormous knockers. They should call you Belly Eyelash" -If vomit was a person -Jimmy John’s bitch. -comment -Your loved ones have multiple group chats about whether or not to invite you to family events -Mother of many custody of none -Still having a rebellious phase nearly 15 years strong. -"Still calls herself ""one of the guys"", even as a grown-ass woman " -"Let’s play “Put these events in order in your life” - -- First restraining order -- First positive pregnancy test -- First shoplifting arrest -- First time trading sex for drugs" -Everyone you know is sooooo fucking tired of your shit. -CPS knows you on a first name basis -She fucks every dude that’s “like a brother” to her -Your entire wardrobe is probably Fox Racing and Monster Energy brand. -"She's definitely a fan of older men with Harleys who listen to Kid Rock. MVP of the local bar, located in a run down Ramada" -Reese Heroinspoon -"You are trying to be edgy, but your 30th birthday hit you harder than your drunk boyfriend." -"When Starlight goes full crack head. - -Edit: Yoooo wtf! This blew up while I was asleep!! Why though? 😭😭😭 Thanks Crackhead Starlight!!!" -"At some point in your life, many years ago, you were likely the coolest and prettiest woman in your small town group of friends." -Everything that comes out of your mouth is about your recovery and you needed to grow through that part of your life to grow -It’s all good my mom has custody of my kids -"Will go on a date to eat for free, and smoke all your cigarettes in the process" -"Has a suspended license, a restraining order and a failure to appear since May." -30? With or without the summers? -"New from Mattel it's - - - ""Moshpit Barbie"" - -Take her to get a new tattoo, buy drugs, and drunk drive in her POS car!... - -**alcohol, batteries, or bad decisions not included... *" -"Help, the trailer is missing it's trash" -Truck stop gift shop is a style now? -U are the personification of an DUI -That 4th picture really hits. A true white trash masterpiece -"What are you so happy about, Methanie?" -You look like your living off the remaining cash from an insurance scam -Got that Wicked Witch of the West chin on the body of an emaciated scarecrow. -How many guys have you blown in an IHOP bathroom for a pack of cigarettes or a quarter? 🤔 -Trailer Grift -Whats it feel like knowing the person you loved the most is happily married now? -"If being white trash were a video game, you’re definitely unlocking an achievement with that 4th picture." -"When people call her out on her bullshit: ""If you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!'" -"Kids, don't do drugs. Or else, you'll look like this when you turn 30." -"Yeah, you were the girl that always fought other girls in the high school smoking area." -30 rough years. Ooooof -You look like you sell sex toys door-to-door to frustrated women in the Midwest. -"I know for sure that you use pills, don't know which ones" -Chinderella. You could probably do with a wash -I feel like I booked you into jail a few weeks back for meth possession -She likes her bacon crispy. Now her kids at her mom's place can practice making crispy bacon to get her to spend one weekend with them. -You look like the fourth Hansen brother -All the Kings Horses and All the Kings Men couldn't put that wall she hit back together again. -You look like a meth head celebrating their first sober birthday. Well done to you and keep up the good work! -"Drug and multiple rehab vibe is strong here. Also a vibe of Kentucky-Appalachia pillpopping. At least she wears safety glasses, so there's that. Definitely not a cyclist." -"30 years old, still running the teenage rebellion phase. - -At least your child custody matches your 401k: 0" -Send the OF. -You like your face crispy too. Throw on some fucking sunscreen before you look like Robert Redford -What did you do after you were voted off of Rock of Love? -"So this is what Americans mean when they call someone ""trailer park trash""" -Good you told us 30F. Otherwise you I probably told you how good you looked for 50. -I bet your parents are proud of all 2 of your OF subscribers. -You are the other woman. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. -Now on the main stage.... -Going back to Sturgis for your only incum. -Is that your IQ and best grade from high school? -Why do I feel like you have 4 children who are all with CPS -If „Only god can judge me“- tramp stamp was a person -We’re out of bacon but those pepperoni nips will do -This is awesome. The first picture that you can smell. I just wish they hadn’t chose “Marlboro”. -Anal is your first base. -Your tattoo artist already roasted you plenty. What bet did you lose? -That’s a 4 cock mouth right there. -"Loves Jesus so much, she's going to smoke meth and pop oxy and vote for Trump on election day." -Just your average milf redneck Crack user -Her baby’s father is in jail for storming the capital -You need to stop shaving to cover that chin -Your eyebrows don't match your coloring. -William dafoe after transition. -She’s the one flipping off the group of guys after she just finished a 3 hour circle jerk with those guys. The same guys she always says are all like her best friends. She manages to get some of them together at least once a week for said circle jerk. Makes her feel closer to them and gives her a sense of being and a little more self confidence. -"1st pic, you look like a cheer mom. The rest of the pics you look like “Pattie the Day Time Hooker” or maybe Wendy from BB." -How did you get your tits to be so droopy at such a young age? Did the tattoos come from the trailer park tattoo shop or prison? -Just drop your OF already -You look like crackhead Starlight -This one is obviously the “man” in her relationships. She met her girlfriend at an NA meeting 😐. -"Who dis, the new Hawk Poo-ah girl?" -"Knock it off with the spam. This is the 2nd post you have posted. - -https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/Dfmq66VtNy" -And you like your men Methey -And you like your crack burned  -Apparently you like your hair and your skin crispy also -Chin -If the cigarette butt on the steps of the family courthouse became sentient -"6 cats, 2 restraining orders, 3 kids -each from different fathers, and several failed attempts in drug rehab." -The kind of homeless junkie you want to get in your car cause she will do anything you want for 5$ -"Still smoking real cigarettes and hanging in strip mall bars is rough. - -Lives in a small town in Ohio, Baby daddy is a nice guy that works at the local truck lift shop but there are at least 2 guys in basic training right now sweating it out bc she told them she was late." -Tell me you went to community college without telling me you went to community college -I can smell the STDs through the pics -Before reading the card I thought you looked good for 45 -Imagine being 30 and still taking pictures with your middle finger up -The more freckly version of Jessica Simpson -Its hard to roast you because I think you look like a nice person but I am gay and have low standards so take that however you want. Do you need me to use less syllables or did you get all that? -Keep up the sunbed treatments and you’ll have your wish in no time. -Ill fix your title. “ I like my bacon crispy and bbc hard and from behind” -All 5 of your kids have different dads don’t they? I’m willing to bet you also don’t know the identity of at least two of their dads -Proof that tattoos can't substitute for a personality -It looks like you've got a staph infection starting there on your wrist. Right beside that self portrait tattoo. -"Bacon crispy? Yes, you do look like you like your pork blackened" -Man hands. -"Not good enough to be a soccer mum, not cool enough to be the cool aunt." -The crack and meth has made you look at least 40. -"And your meth regular. - -I'd date you. I have very low standards" -What’s jaw problem? -You look like you liked to party when you were young...now everythings just sagging -"You might like your bacon crispy, but you’re running out of eggs." -Somehow I just know you smell like a urinal. -"***So young, so saggy.***" -Your name is Ryan right -"You look like if I touched you, you'd be sticky." -Avril Lavigne from Temu. Avril Methvine. -"I wasn’t gonna say anything at first, but then after reviewing your pictures, I realize something. Your tits……. For such small tits they are about 5 - 6 inches too low, pretty much drooping down to your belly button. - -Can only imagine when you are in your 60’s. Those fuckers are going to need to be taped around your neck." -Can we stop with this charade and get to a point where they just start posting the OF link without first asking to be roasted? -"What’s 30 years of living in a bowling alley, drinking only Monster energy drinks, and smoking Newports looks like" -Should probably start wearing gloves while playing in the dirt and rocks. OP has the hands of a 50 year old crack addicted bricklayer -That chin structure says 30 M -Hard to tell yall dudes from the women these days. -You should really start wearing a bra 💀 lots of sag -You look like you think you are interesting cool and edgy to the point of complete self absorption . -You look like you make amateur beastiality porn -One short haircut away from being a fuckboy -"A cross pendant while flipping a bird. Yeah, you should really reevaluate your decisions. You’re gonna end up being crispy like your choice in bacon if you don’t repent." -It's Ke$has sister Metha -Taylor Grift. I tested positive for an STD just by looking at her photos. -Proud owner of a can opener chin -"These all look like ""before"" meth photos." -"You’re a grown woman posting “cute” pictures for a “Roast Me,” that’s enough of a roast, even before seeing how cringe they are. You’re actually pretty, but you really should figure out why you need this kind of attention." -I am so disappointed no one has called her a budget Ke$ha yet. -"Your parents defiantly say “she was such a beautiful, smart young lady… she had so much potential” and then your mom looks away as she tries not to cry, your dad coughs and goes out to the garage." -comment -I bet you sit on the toilet backwards so you can use the tank as a lunch table -"Oh boy, you sure you wanna do this?" -Your belly flap has seen your penis more than you have -Bro really got chocolate on his lip in the second photo. Jesus christ dude -"I’d sugar coat my comment, but you’d probably eat that too." -"""I tried to think of the most harmless thing. -Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!""" -"Atleast you are Smart enough to not to add ""Virgin"" to the title,since we already know it." -You look like rick and chumlee from pawnstars made an ass baby. -4th picture will look exactly the same when you're 65. -"20 years old but with your diabetes and probable heart issue, you have reached your mid life crisis." -"""His name is Robert Paulson.""" -Whatever you’re doing ain’t working. -Shouldn’t you be orbiting Jupiter? -Don't sit on something you can't afford. -"Jokes aside, can we get a follow-up on some of these ppl asking for roasts to see if they haven’t deleted themselves shortly after?" -Is your FUPA resting on the counter? -Bold choice for a mobility scooter but yeah you’re probably gonna need that extra horse power -Looks like Bobby Hill grew up to have bigger titties than Luanne -"When you masturbate, do you need a mirror to find it?" -Just start hanging out at playgrounds *now*. Don't wait til your 35 🤷‍♂️ -"On a positive note, you seem like a real Family Man." -Massive \*and\* Nerd -You look like a bully and the person who gets bullied -Nah he does look like a nice guy tho. Probably fun to hang out with -Hold the door -How many Subs do you moderate ? -I think you’ve exceeded the weight limit on that cycle by about 3 tons -"As someone who has been called Chris Griffin and hated it... man, I gotta pass the torch to you." -If the sex offender registry had a mascot -Emphasis on massive -"Too easy dude, too easy. Life has already dealt you a pretty bad hand, I'm not gonna pile on." -Need a comma after massive. -You look like a 30 yo fat lesbian.....or Patton Oswalt. -Brendan Fraser thanks you for inspiring him! -You look like what a Magic the Gathering tournament smells like. -You look like Jeffery Dahmer if he only deep fried his victims -"I mean fat roasts are overrated and overused. - -Liking Star Wars doesn’t make you a nerd anymore. It’s mainstream. It technically makes you a Disney adult now. 😂" -Nothing can roast you as hard as heart disease and diabetes. -You ain’t no damn 20 year old -"You look like the kinda guy to drop everything and do anything for your friends. - -You fuck." -Bro I think you've already had enough roast today 💀 -"No need for the hate brother, it looks like you're having a good time with life, ride on homie." -Bro you have a nice smile and I bet you are polite. What am I supposed to roast? -"Disgustingly fat. Mate this isn’t a roast, please turn your life around before it’s too late…" -You were great in Bad Santa! -"Hey man, you seem okay. Life is long and there's lots for a decent person to do and explore. Don't let these jerks get you down." -bro looks adorable -I think you look like you have a very kind heart and should learn to love yourself if it’s something you struggle with. Have a great day!! -Id be friends with you -"Hey Bro, don’t let people shame you. You’re worth more than that. These cynical fucks will jump at the chance to roast someone without any thought as to how it will affect the receiver. People will say some hateful shit to get Internet points. You don’t need ask people roast you. There’s enough negativity in the world. How about trying a different tact. Show people some vulnerability and share some of your struggle. You will get the exact opposite response. People will show you their better nature and lift you up. Other people dealing with issues will find they’re not alone. Let’s raise the level of positive energy. We can be better. And to everyone dropping shitty “jokes” here, yes, I know he asked to be roasted. But it still doesn’t make it good. We need to look out for each other. So check yourself and be a fucking decent person. Not one who finds easy targets and rips them to shreds because you’re not standing directly in front of them. You’re better than that, too. Much love big man. Stay positive." -With the gender affirming hormones I figured her beard would be fuller. -You actually look very kind and i love your hair -First human marble. -You look like a middle aged lunch lady. -I honestly think u look like a nice guy. Keep on nerdin my man. Do you! -It’s a good thing you put male in the title because I honestly couldn’t tell. -Massive is an understatement. -How are you NOT a reddit mod?!?!? -For fuck sakes man go to the gym! -How do you look 40 and 12 at the same time? -Your belt buckle drags on the floor when you go to put it through the first loop -Impossible to roast bc you ate it. -Roasting you could feed a village. -Fuck bud I just KNOW you're walking around with a bad wipe. -How many months are you? -If you had smaller titties you'd look like a man. -Bobby from King of the Hill grown up. -"You should really consider making different life choices. Being in the high 200's low 300's is absolutely not normal for someone your age. I know that you probably think you have a cute smile and good hair, and are just ""waiting for the right one to come along"" but that's gonna be a long wait while your body deteriorates under your weight. If you maintain that lifestyle, you're going to find your joints start breaking down quicker. You're not gonna be able to enjoy time outside with friends and family because you will get winded quicker and have less stamina. It's really only a matter of time before your heart starts to have problems. - -I used to look a lot like you and then lost over 100 lbs with some dietary and lifestyle changes and my enjoyment of life has increased exponentially. It's not an easy thing to do, but it's the right thing to do if you want to experience more of what life has to offer, and it has a lot more to offer than what you see from behind your computer screen. Your parents love you but will talk about you behind closed doors about the way you're living your life. Stop being the person that it's easy to be and be the person you want to be." -"Humiliation and embarrassment are not the way to go. Success comes one step at a time, literally. Start walking every day for 20-30 minutes. In a few weeks start drinking more water (keep walking). In a few more weeks start adjusting your diet. Eat protein with every meal. Keep walking and drinking water. It isn’t a quick fix but little changes can make a difference." -"At 15 minutes a pound, we can roast you by Christmas." -"“..massive, nerd,..” ftfy" -Pretty sure if you walked for atleast 30 minutes a day youd just be a nerd in 2 years -I literally thought you were a bull dyke lesbian -You want some neck with them chins? -"20 year old male, or 40 year old lesbian? It’s anyone’s guess." -Fucking hell you've got some balls. -shittest bathroom -You look like a “Make a Wish” kid that didn’t die -Even the trans community is scratching their heads at this one. -"Look boys, 300 lbs of Nerd." -discord final boss -"Damn guy. You're so young, and God (or nature or whatever you believe created you) didn't make a mistake. The difficult road ahead of becoming who you would like yourself to be will build an amazing young man with compassion for others, who knows the value of hard work, and who has the tools to do amazing things in a world of entitled, pampered assholes who can't manage a grocery store job for more than two weeks. You'll be in a position to help others like you know their value in this world, too! That's what you're here for, and the world needs the precious few people like you." -"I’m not gonna lie, I know I’m supposed to be roasting you, but you seem like a chill dude." -Brother you seem like a good dude. I know I’m supposed to roast you but I hope you’re doing this as motivation and not to punch down on yourself. I’m over a decade older than you but nerds are beloved these days. Sending positivity your way! -Diabeetus. -"Future NBA allstar. And by NBA, i mean Neck Beard Association" -How the Hell did you manage to look like a Lesbian Dyke and an average Trump simp AT THE SAME TIME? -Shredded cheese and a gallon of milk isn't breakfast food -"I could roast you, but i’m afraid I would only be reinforcing what you say to yourself through crocodile tears every time you eat another half-gallon of Rocky Road in one sitting. - -Be true to yourself." -Hhwhat the hell Bobby?? -You spelled weight wrong -"Got that Bobby Hill build, I tell ya what" -Bro looks old and young at the same time 😂😂 -"hehe...""massive""..." -Don't let anyone tell you self confidence is all you need. -You look like you get paid for texting only fans subscribers instead of the girls. -you take up all the 1080 pixels in 1080p -"Nerd, maybe. Massive, definitely." -Bro had the audacity to post this with all his hamburger meat hanging out. In THIS economy. -You look at least 15 -There is nothing that can be said in any human tongue that will be worse than what nature has wrought in the monolithic massiveness that is you. -"""Massive"" is the right description." -I bet you’re single -You look like Peter Griffin and Chris Griffin had a son -You are alright buddy I’ve seen worse❤️ -Don't you have a subreddit to moderate? -I think a gym membership would be cheaper than the amount of sauce I'd need to roast you. -"20, male, massive, nerd. You did it to yourself." -"Bobby Hill, age 32 ,assistant to the manager. Dollar general location county road F." -I can hear you breathing through my phone -Bobby hill but fater -Bobby Hill waiting in his glow up -Do the truffle shuffle -Rockin it with the batman cum stain. -You look like a transgender Russell from Up -Hey it's Bobby from King of the Hill! -Male? -PayNothingWubby -comment -I bet your physics professor uses you as an example of an unmovable object. -"If you are here, who is taking care of the pigeons in home alone 2" -"I try to be body positive. Regarding your body, I’m positive I can’t." -That chest is writing cheques your face can't cash -Its phyllis -You look like a marshmallow left in water! -18 going on 40. Where to even start? -"Tits like baywatch, face like crimewatch." -You are the M in E=MC2 -"> 109% on my physics exam - -A pretty convenient way to say you broke a scale 🐳" -"Your scale is reading 109%, too." -"Shut up, goth meg." -"You look like someone took the tattletale from Little House and forced her to work at a brothel for coal miners. - -You look like someone colorized a porn image of a fur trapper from the 1800’s - -After servicing the glory-hole you put your mouth up to the hole and yell “ Tell em Large Marge sucked ya!” - -It’s the newest image of Diabetic Matrix" -"Sorry, you misheard me, I said I like girls with ""ASS"" not ""MASS""" -By the looks of it you probably got some mayonnaise on that test too. -I know our immigration policy is lax but did you eat all the other Russian mail order brides on the boat over? -"Borderline and a barcode skin by any chance? - -Or just Depression and being boring." -Your tits look super confident too. Super confident that in 12 months they’ll be bouncing off your knees. -"Feeling super confident. -(walks past mirror) -Oh." -It's was a 125% but you slept with your teacher and he adjusted the score appropriately.  -"Good thing you good at physics, because you will need special formulas to measure your own celestial body in a few years." -109% Obese with Acne scars. -"you should date guys who are super short, so they can only see your breasts, and not your face" -"By 109% on her Physics results, she means even her exams exceed the average BMI" -"Based on your circumference, I would estimate that you are at least 35 years old and filled with maple syrup" -Your onlyfans is free because you can’t count …… -"No wonder you're so good at physics, someone smacked you in the face with the ugly Planck's constant." -"this bitch is the lion, the witch and the wardrobe" -Spokesperson for *goth milk?* -"Your face says ""I'm ugly"" in Braille." -"As you are so good in physics, you should calculate your own gravity pull. Maybe that will lead to some much needed life changes..." -"This post is ponsored by scale manufacturer, promo code: 109MASSJUSTINMYASS" -Oh wow! It’s Phylis from “The Office” before she got hired. -You have 2 things going for you: obesity and diabetes -Is 18F the bra size? -"Similar to a magnet, some parts attract, and some parts don’t." -Home schooling results don't really count. -You look like an inflated Chapelle Roan! -Shut up Meg. -More like you got 109% of the menu in a Chilli's -Let me guess? Gay? Self diagnosed mental health disorders? Only reason you didn't go to art school was because it didn't piss daddy off as much as you thought it would? -10 pounds of cheese in a 5 pound bag. -# Your understanding of quantum field theory is as flawed as a Feynman diagram with a non-renormalizable vertex. -The only other thing you get more than 100% on is the number of calories you’re supposed to eat in a day to avoid getting fat as fuck. -Cute as a manatee....! -"She actually isn't wearing black, light can't escape." -"The number before ""F"" in your title is supposed to be your age, not tonnage." -"""Feeling super confident"". - - -You shouldn't." -You look like what trump supporters think all libs look like. -Oh god it stinks. -Has to factor in her own mass when calculating gravitational force answers… -It cracks me up when fat slobs focus on styling when the number one thing that will make you look better is not stuffing your fucking face -You look like Rosie the Riveter if rivets were pegging soy boys. -That pair looks like it blows out both your ACLs when you take off your bra -You definitely look like an expert in gravity. -I’m a psychic. Let me tell you your future. (Stares into crystal ball) You’re going to marry Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. -Piggi Lockstocking -The body of a bloated corpse -Your bra gets a 109% for effort. Never seen anything work so hard. -Ughh -Well of course you got such a high score on your physics exam you’re a prime example of mass moves mass -I love fat goth bitches -Anyone with their own gravitational pull is sure to be good at physics. -Did the Physics exam require eating? -You look like you pay for people to subscribe to your onlyfans -Mona Lisa really let herself go. -You’re a lonely Jamaican’s wet dream. -10/10 would bang once. 100/10 regret it later. -So much pizza it's growing on her face -"I hate to sound old, but how do 18 year olds get fat? Shes going to be 400lbs before long" -The most 40 year old looking 18 year old -Bull shit!! You at least 30 -The title says 18 but you look 45 -18 looking like your 30 wtf -I’d say your physics professor is trying to fuck you but I’m 109% sure he isn’t. -"Don't pay attention to negative comments, you are bigger than that." -Body positive but face negative -109%? It clearly wasn't a math exam -"Ah ugly with fat tits, just my type." -I don't really take prisoners but she kinda cute. We just need a proper size cell -18? It's that the new way of saying 35? -This isn’t even a roast. You’re 18. Get healthy before it’s too late. -"We all know Wednesday Adams, well, let me present to you her cousin: fat Tuesday" -You shouldn’t feel so confident being that fat. -I can smell the piss flaps from here -Good thing you know about physics because gravity hates you -I'm sure you didn't study for that exam -Sounds like you somehow defied physics? -You only have cleavage because you're overweight. Your dick is probably smaller though. -How did you “physically” get in that outfit -You also score 109% on your body fat test. -More like your hair died. -"Takes physics. Doesn't realize something can't actually be more than 99.999…% -Takes remedial physics." -Did you finally increase your orbital mass that much that your schwarzchild radius has been violated -"So we’re entirely clear, you look NOTHING like Maxine. Not even a little bit. You really need to understand that." -Show us those fat titties -How much are clothes in the Matrix? -"Your cardiologist called, you also got a 100% on your blocked artery exam." -"Feeling confident? Why even bother posting here, just look at your selfie should do all the humbling needed" -Hows your nose bigger than your mouth -18? You Look 35 hol shit -"For your brain to start working, need to connect battery to your nose piercing" -All the cleavage in the world can’t hide that face. -Holy fuck. You're the 40iest looking 18yr old ever. Wow. -109% on an exam. Oh when daddy gets back from getting the milk I’m sure he will be proud -You're 18 years old but look like you're 28. -Gonna need that physics degree just to calculate your gravitational pull. -"A bra, and overalls. Nice. Real nice. Bet you have an uncle-daddy" -"18? - -You look closer to 81." -of your fat -109 was your physics test score? You sure it wasnt a BMI test? -I feel super confident you are going to ruin someone’s life. -Let me guess you wrote a paper about your own gravational pull -I would rather let a Pitbull rip my dick off than have to make love to you -Black is figuratively slimming not physically. -Nice rack. -Which chapter in your physics book do you learn to stop eating? -Isn’t a physic some sorta enema ? Glad to know you passed with flying colors and them some. -"Awww you’re feeling super confident! - -You shouldn’t be." -Don’t -"Men, this is why you shouldn’t abandon your kids." -"FWB that you can call at 2 am and they will show up at your door at 2:30, let you hit it raw and nut up in em. nothings off limits and will indulge whatever you are into." -"Not gonna lie if i was drunk enough, put a paper bag over it and pretend it’s someone else i would definitely clap your cheeks" -"that wasn't a physics test, it was a BMI measurement" -I don’t have anything mean to say. Id be friends with you and I think it’s cool you did so well on your exam. 💃🏼 -I thought you were 40 -"Shut up, Meg" -Shaped like a condom full of marbles. -Was your physics exam on your gravitational pull? -I would have guessed 47 before I guessed 18 but at least you can buy beer with that look -You have a face on your fat -"Invent a time machine, go back 10 years and slap that fork out of your hand." -18? You look 18³ -All these fat jokes are so pedestrian when they could really be addressing the claim that you're only 18. A claim that I have to put about 3 tons of doubt on. -"I diagnosed you with polycystic ovary syndrome, acne, irregularities in your cycles, insulin resistance and hirsutism." -Feeling confident. Please show me more of your beautiful body -F these people you are pretty -109 KG -The perk to looking like this all you have to do is walk by the voting polls and they are gonna automatically mark you down as democrat  -Jesus fuck. If you’re really only 18 buckle the fuck up. Life is only gonna get worse looking like that -18?? my mother looks younger than you and she died in 2019 -I think you’re pretty but you look like you take too many meds to drive safely 🫶 -Your face looks like you were a goalie for a college dart team. -109% no dick for your birthday -Better be good at blowjobs -"You are a fatass and you look older than my mother who is 52. Words don’t even describe how ugly you are. Looking at you reminds me that I could’ve had it worse. How thankful I should be I wasn’t born as an 18 year old fat ugly bastard that looks older than 52. After everything I said, nothing compares to the fact that you have to go through your entire life looking like that." -I'd be confident too if I was able to titfuck my way to good grades. -Your teacher gave you 109% so you would not try to bribe him -"Read this really quick and thought you said Physical Exam... \*\*phew\*\* yeah, Physics... might want to brush up on the law of attraction because I find you repulsive..." -Didn’t you have enough dye to do something with that face? -A black hole that understands physics. Adds up to me. -If Debbie Gallagher and Svetlana had a baby -"What colour was your hair before to dyed it, grey?" -Looks like something out of a dog food commercial -How many satellites in your orbit? -109% force of gravity -"That's a nice human costume, sir! Can't even see the zjpper" -You look like the girl from hunger games if she ate all her opponents. -You wish you were 18. -Brunhilda the agrarian peasant in 2024. The arms of an agrarian peasant have become the arms of a career OTR truck driver. Welcome to the 21st century. -The unfuckables. -Post easy to get 109 with that body. The teacher must've been distracted and gave you extra points. -"You have your own gravitational pull, stop eating the satellites in your orbit. - -Hawking radiation can’t escape your black hole" -Your space/time/gravity equations aren't working out according to your mirror. -Physics... you would know... since you have the entire universe revolving around your gravitational pull... -109% of what? Is the 9% extra because you didn't fit their mold? -18 ? Sorry for you -Yikes -A cannibal village could survive off ur meat for a whole month. -I see the mystery of Tabbi's Star has been solved. The celestial body blocking it's wasn't a Dyson's Sphere. It was YOU. -Not even those tits can save the wreck that is your face -You only got %109 because you have your own gravitational pull -Now I'm no mathematician but I do know the 109% isn't a thing. -"Clock froze at 18, just like her maternal instincts. Dumping 18 foetuses like yesterday’s leftovers—impressive level of detachment. Almost inspiring." -"My phone won't load the images, says i need more RAM" -"Only 109%? You definitely have more ""physic"" than that." -You're probably so good at physics... because you have to defy it every time you put on a pair of jeans. -Nah no way is she 18 legit looks about 34 to me -Are you and Kermit the Frog still an item? -keep studying youre gonna need to support yourself -"You’re in a bit of a tricky situation. If you lost weight, you’d lose your only asset." -18??? You mean dog years? -Shame it wasn't a 109% workout at a physical exam. -Your understanding of physics must help you decide which outfits will contain all of you -She can calculate the 3 body problem all by herself.. -Your chest is doing all the work for you honey 🤷‍♀️ -You look like you already had your midlife crisis divorce and are prowling around for young college guys. -There’s someone for everyone. Except you. 😬 -Mix in a salad -My god girl i bet your splash attack does damage -You got a 109% on physics but a negative 1000% on your physical education and nutrition exam -The edgiest customer at Cici’s pizza -You already at highest baked level from everywhere. -I bet your hair died willingly. You’re also confusing 109% with your weight in kilograms. -"In your case, weight equals mass times gravy." -"You actually paid money to have your hair dyed a flat, dull, uninspiring mouse brown? -You also need to go on a diet." -Stevie Micks-a d’s -Your BMI score is not a Physics exam score -Something about you. screams std's -18? Only if you’re counting in base 37. -"I just woke up, and my day is already ruined." -You don't look a day over 40 -109% body fat you meant? -"If we roasted you, the village could feast for a month" -Can’t be a v serious class if u got a 109 -"From first glance, 109% bipolar more like." -"Probably bad at relationships, you can find the position but not get the momentum." -I’m sure you’re feeling super confident that you can find another all-you-can-eat buffet in an hour. -How much confidence did you have to eat this morning? -I have fucked women over 40 who look younger than you. -Just start your cat collection now! -So then you know your tits are accelerating downwards at a rate of 9.8 m/s/s -You sure that was your score on the physics test and not your BMI? -"You might of passed physics, but failed your physical" -"At first I thought those are some big tiddys, then I realized it’s because everything else was big too." -You look like one of the girls from shameless ate the other girl from shameless -She definitely farts into jars and sells them online. -Where is your belly? -Proud of you. -Your body has its own gravitational pull (orbit). -"Intelligence is very sexy and can make up for a lot of other deficiencies. - -That’s not the case here." -"You defied the laws of physics by wearing black and not looking slimmer. - -Does that explain the exam result?" -I’m confident you’ll finish that entire cake by yourself. -I thought that said physical exam! Physics makes more sense. -You look like a 10 when you're walking. As in 10.0 on the Richter scale. -These aren't the worst transition photos I've seen on here. But I still wouldn't say you're passable. Maybe if I were drunk and you dim the lights. Try posting darker pics. -Feeling super confident for the all you can eat buffet later or what? Cause I know it’s not your apperance that you feel confident about. -18 years old or 18 years since you ate a salad? -You’d go from a 3 to a 5 if you put a bag over your head. -18? Gurl bye -You know that you don't have to pick an ugly style just because you're ugly -The symbol of the unit is Kg not % -You’re testing the laws of physics just by existing. -Eating your way through life… I’m sure you’re full of personality too. -Oh look another sow.. -Posting here was a huge mistake -Yes you're 18 and turning 40 next week. I know 6overweight people and you're 4 of them. By the time u turn 19 you'll be all 6 of them. Congratulations In your new weight. -"Jesus Christ that's a rough 18. Just like whoever marked your physics exam doesn't understand the concept of percentages, I am 109% sure I would never like to look at you ever again." -I see you like physics so much that you chose to become a physical blob yourself -"If you’re so confident, why did you post your mom’s photo instead of your own." -Yeah forget the hair and the physics. Walks and eat correct. -"I remember how my cousin would tell me, ""she's really pretty in the face"" when she would try to hook me up with her fatass friend. She couldn't say that in your case." -Your physics professor probably uses you as an example to calculate buoyancy . -Well at least you have some intelligence. -At least you got intelligence going for you. -"Looking back at your photos from 11 months ago, I can really appreciate the commitment you've made for your *Fat Bitch* halloween costume this year." -Mc Donald’s side affect in one person :( -You are way more than 109% of a standard human -109% on physics. but yet you get zero physical love IRL -I didn’t know hot topics carried size 20+ -"Usually when someone brags about a test score, its to their parents. The fact you're posting here must mean mom left, too. Damn, the 2-for-1 special. That's rare." -You sure you didn't score 109% on a body fat test? -"After all the prostitution and hard drugs, I still seem to have some sympathy for Ms. Piggy." -Why did you eat Chappell Roan?! -You look like that fat old chick from the office -tits and cleavage won't do the job of a healthy diet and exercise. -You look like you ate Chappel Roan to become her -"Your sir loves you and your twos, doesn't he?" -With your weight and mass I would assume physics is a constant battle for you. -"3 most important things u need for a successful relationship: honesty, communication, and darkness" -comment -A real life Picasso. -I think your posture is just bad from carrying around the giant balls it took to post here all day. -What we have here is a fruit transitioning to a vegetable. -Did a child draw you? -I’ve never seen someone who can do the twist standing still -You looking Special Olympics Popeye -Your arm looks like a sine wave -MS? It looks like you were drawn with MS Paint. -Try jerking off with the other arm you animal. -You look petty normal from the forehead up. -You should be hanging upside down in a Chinese restaurant window. -"Before I roast, I want to say first that I admire you and this post. - -That being said, you look like a typical 52 year old checking into a halfway house." -If Ted Kazinsky mailed packages to himself. -You look like a Tetris block -Stephen Hawkain’t -found my golf ball in the unlikeliest of places -I think you might be doing bicep curls wrong. -"You’re skinny where you’re supposed to be thick and thick where you’re supposed to be skinny. - -Not dad bod, more grinch bod" -Thank you for your multiple services -You're perpetually stuck in The House of Mirrors. -"Not my proudest boner, but there you go." -You look like that men in black alien is wearing your skin -"I refuse… and it sounds as your friends love you for the man you are, not what MS has done to your body." -Thats a nice cashmere sweater you’re wearing. -It looks like you voluntarily get sucked into lathes -Bro’s bicep looking like a skateboard ramp -"I can’t roast a disabled vet. Besides, I don’t need him coming after me. I mean look at those crazy eyes." -You look like somebody paused a Popeye cartoon in the middle of his spinach transformation -"You look like a 52 year old disabled veteran with multiple sclerosis, who also happens to be an author and a father." -"\> voice in the fight against multiple sclerosis - -My man. You already lost." -Spent a little too long near the burn pits -I think your body is roasting you better than I ever could. -What’s it like knowing you peaked at the last Cake concert? -I think your shorts also have MS. Crooked as F -You look like a 6 year old drew you -You look like a Picasso painting of Dr. House. -"It's only fair to treat you the same as everyone else my friend. - -You look like fusilli Jerry" -"Damn, Stephen hawkin can even get laid, not you though!" -Jeremy needs ironed -"Ugh, I can’t…. I just can’t. Life is roasting him daily, why does he need human bullshit on top? Not sure why he is here?? 😳🥴🫢🫥" -Okay Dr. House we get it. -You look amazing dude… your friends are being honest! Good luck moving forward.. -THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE -Still looks better than me and I’m 51. -"Thank you for your service sir, doing great in my pov" -"Dude, I can't roast a disabled veteran TBH. I can say thank you for your service tho." -"Nope. As a fellow disa led vet youre not getting roasted from me. Your body is beautiful and you are still with us which is a blessing. Best of luck, friend." -"Inspiring! - -You CAN get the body you've always dreamed of! - -Providing you take like.... 10 to 12 Benadryl before you go to bed." -I hereby decline -"Jesus Christ I hope whatever’s going on in your trunks is just some weird MS related shit and not some god almighty, world-ending schlong.." -Can't do it. Thanks for your service and keep fighting amigo! -I refuse to roast you. You're a legend going through all that. Have a nice day -Young Jerry Stiller -"This is what generates when you type ""angry dadbod"" into Midjourney" -Ricky Berwicks Dad? -"Torso of Elon Musk, arms of Steve Jobs" -you look like you were drawn in MS Paint -I have MS. I know that shit already roasted you more than Reddit ever could. -"Your upper torso is a topographical map of Fucked Up Valley Nevada. - -Circus mirrors reflect you “normal”. - -Dude……I’m trying but I just can’t……said your immune system this morning! - -Thank you for your service. For fighting the good fight and hopefully never losing your sense of humor!" -MDA is a bitch and good on you for keeping a good sense of humor about it. If it is any consolation I bet you looked like a dipshit long before the disease. -"You know what I see? I see a man in battle. I see a man that’s obviously in a fight for his livelihood and has taken a few blows. And you come on here and show those blows. Pardon me if this isn’t cool to say anymore, but that shows you’re a full grown ass man. - -MS is a bitch. It’s a daily fight. And you’re fighting it. You’re not to be roasted; you’re to be admired. - -Keep fighting. Good luck my friend." -"Nah dude... You Sir, are a fucking champion." -"First of all thank you for your service. - -Second of all I'm not gonna roast a veteran." -son's torso looking like bowser's head -For 25 years of MS...you look amazing... -I can’t even do it. God bless you -Bro built like a hiccup -Terabytes -you have a hairy chest with a butt under it -"Christ, did you try out for the Guinness book of world records for the world record hardest wank and tear your bicep?" -You look like the scary neighbor from home alone who turns out to be nice -"That bicep's looking really cute, Mr. Vegetable 😜" -In your friend’s defence you did meet them at a meeting for Foundation for the blind -…I..can’t. -We have If Chicken little fucked his life up with alcoholism -"I almost don’t want to roast you, it’s a veteran respect thing. But then I saw it. - -Why you got those crazy Ted Kaczynski eyes? What is thine Manifesto, dear author? “How to become both Popeye and Bluto in the ultimate search for Olive Oil”? - -Truthfully, you look good despite all that you’ve been dealt. MS ain’t a fucking joke, but you seem to still take it in stride. That’s where that Vet comes in, Honor, Courage, Bravery. Thank you for your service and for being a voice for the voiceless." -"My grandma died from MS, will not roast" -Glad to see the families of the Chernobyl incident suffered no serious side effects! -Looks like God already roasted you. -A melted white chocolate KitKat = you -What we have here is an organism the copies other organisms and it copies them perfectly...we just got to it before it could finish. -Swalloed a Christmas turkey whole dat fella 😂😂🦃 -You look like a child's drawing brought to life. -This is the before picture for everything. -You look like if Stretch Armstrong and Mrs Potato Head had a baby -Discount Dr House ! -Are you the Special Olympics Parsnips Supreme aka special ops? -"Holy fuck dude… roast you hell… - -Fucking Toast you for even being able to stand up." -"It's like someone crumpled you up, threw you away, then remembered that they had to turn you in for homework assignment." -"Honestly, you still look tough as fuck man." -"No, Sir. I will not indulge in roasting towards someone who is all the above. No, you are a hero and deserve peace of mind. Keep fighting the good fight, fellow veteran." -"Bros got that cartoon bicep - -Edit: thank you for your service. I know a lot of vets and y’all never cease to amaze me. Thank you." -"No roast, my friend. You're a survivor, rock that shit!" -"Bro you look like a Gumby toy, but you're still a badass." -"Veteran, I refuse to roast. Thank you for your service sir." -"Each of us has our own battles in life. No matter how difficult it could be, keep moving forward. Thank you for your service." -You'd be better off with just one sclerosis. -"Your looks are irrelevant, you have a life to be proud of. Sign off Reddit and go live it," -"You’ve got a popeye bicep ❤️ - -Edit: Oops I forgot what sub this was. Pretend that is a roast." -Who is looking at your muscles when you have that delicious hairy chest? 😘 -Can’t do it. Thank you for your service Sir! -A one man human centipede -I’m liking this new Mr.Fantastic -"I'm sorry bro, but, you look like 3 2x3 Lego bricks stacked on top of eachother for a torso." -Lumpier than a hotel pillow -My taxes got stuck in the onecep. -james bent- 007 -"His bicep and stomach are the same shape, all the muscle moved down his right leg. Congratulations sir!! 👏🏼👏🏼" -Amazing for having MS -"I have also an form of MS, i have PPMS. -How you're coping this fucking disease?" -You look like the Temu version of Hugh Laurie -I would be crazy and roast you but I know how bad Ms is cause I have it to that's painful enough -you look like one of those magician boxes where they stick the swords in and move the boxes around.... -"Kevin, as a child of a father similar to your story, I would never be able to roast you. You fight for your kids daily, and you fought for our freedom for many years and came home with injuries that made you different than when you went in. I am sure it not only affected you physically, but the world was cruel to our vets, and that is worse than any roast. Now, you fight against a silent disease of MS. It slowly takes your body, your mind, and soon your life. No, sir, a roast is not what you need. You need a hand shake, a salute, a thank you, and mostly a hug to say, no matter what life has given you, you continue to take it. Your body and mental health show it. I commend you. Now, stop playing squidward and take that costume off. Before, SpongeBob finds you up out of the water. 😆 ❤️" -Stewen Hawkings 2.0 -"On the bright side, you could play Elon musks body double." -You look like a badly shaven nutsack filled with marbles. -Go go gadget testicle bicep! -"By any chance, were you walking around a mall in Miami a couple of days ago?" -Christian Bales body double for The Machinist -Man I can’t bring myself to roast you. I’d rather BBQ those little chicken wings instead. -"Sending you prayers, I was diagnosed in 2010 and seemed to go down hill quickly. In six years I could no longer work and had real problems with balance and joint pain. Brain fog was really bad sometimes. I took rebif and had a lot of problems and had to quit. I have been on techfadera (not spelled right) for a few years and have several side effects. I felt lost and decided to quit my meds due to side effects. Our care provider introduced me to Ayurvedic treatment. I had a total decline of all symptoms including vision problems, numbness and others. Sometimes, i totally forget i ever had MS. Visit Natural Herbs Centre web-site naturalherbscentre. com. I am very pleased with this treatment. I eat well, sleep well and exercise regularly. God bless all MS Warriors" -Thank you for your service. -Get new friends. Don't hang out with people that lie to your face. -Wolverine on crack -The Mummy Returns -"Mums hold kids hand tighter when they pass you, don't they?" -"You look like they said your MS has nothing to do with that agent Orange you worked with, or those Gulf War burn pits, and you just said “Ok sir”" -He's shaped like a accordion -Why is there a Golf Ball in your arm? -God was high on meth for 5 days straight when He made you -The taliban should have finished you off.! -"I have MS, so I know the difference between MS and anorexia... you're not fooling us." -Steamboat Willie is going to play your ribs like a xylophone -Elephant man early stage photo. -ok boomer -Got the face of a ceo got the body of a flood exploder -Change your story to “survived a shark attack”. -ark survival evolved character -Is that Wagner? -Looks like an alien is about to burst out of you at any second -Bro got that cartoony ass muscle hump on his right arm -"Strange choices were made in this version. Elon musks' torso... Bob dole's bad arm... Manson's crazy eyes... Popeyes bicep. Would keep workshopping in. - -Thank you for your service." -When you stop taking steroids after 20 years of being on the gear -Your arm looks like Popeye before his spinach -"If they ever need a stunt double for bugs bunny, you'll be perfect" -Popeye before the spinach. -Apparently MS also causes RBF. -Hughe Laurie from Wish. -At least you can straighten out your shorts! Dudes not even trying -You have a Monkey Scrotum? -your torso reminds me of bread rolls -This guy got his torso from Wish.com. -This is how your average West Ham supporter looks like. -You look like you were made during the movie ghost by demi moore and patrick swayze -those stick figures we use to draw in art class -You look like a piece of gum that’s been chewed up and spat out on a barbershop floor where you rolled about for a while collecting hair… -Those breast implants are way too low -Dude looked in a fun house mirror and just stayed that way -You have an extraordinarily long trouser parcel sir -You look like you scavenge your body parts like some sort of sci fi movie plot .. ( honestly you look good g keep up the fight ! ) -"You look like if you gave me 10 minutes I could make you on Ark: Survival Evolved - -https://www.reddit.com/r/GamePhysics/s/LXAC6YX6EZ" -Built like a deep breath -Dr Apartment -Your torso looks like Lord Voldemort. -"We found some of your deceased relatives in a few tombs in Nazca, Peru." -bro is built like an abnormal titan -I can’t roast you -Author you say? Did you write The Hunchback of Notre-Dame? -Timmy from South Park as a grown up. -Thank you for your service. -"Judging from your body, I'll bet your dick looks like a boomerang." -You look like you light fireworks just to feel something again -Straight out of a toddler's drawing -You look like a freeze frame from a slo-mo ballistic vid -"All I see is 150lbs of total baddass! -I gots new hero goals!" -Thank you for your service. -That arms looks like Popeye’s before he eats his spinach. -"When it sucks the hell out of you, literally" -(I’m shit at this game)Your face says worrier but your body says warrior. Much love my dude x -Is this the pose that you'd do whenever your kids friends came over? -Its mr. bisected bicep -Dude that's the best bicep definition I've ever seen. 💪 -You look like you swallowed a mini fridge. -"Your torso looks like the face of a creature from old monster movies. - -Ps. Keep going in the fight 💪🏻" -It’s like a Picasso painting grew legs -"That's not a bicep, that's a unicep" -Try carnivore diet - the lion diet. -When you take apart your action figures and put them back together using different parts. -This is really testing my moral compass -Flex Pram-Wheeler -The guys a legend!! Can’t be done! -Those distortion mirrors are insane these days or is that a new Snapchat filter? -We cant he will peg -Your face -you look constapated. But seriously what books gave you written -You look like the stick figure on warning signs for moving machine parts -Well. Um. I see where Picasso got his inspiration from. -Man looks like he's doing the stanky leg trying to put on his shoes. -"Looks like your torso is permanently in the middle of a pop n lock. - -On a serious note, thank you for your service, sir. I can't even imagine the constant pain this disease causes." -Q... Quaid... -"I have no roast for this, but kudos to you for having a great sense of humor." -dude looks like Dr Strange if they were talking about his body and not his powers - Chronnoisseur -Eat more spinach. -this was after he got all those TPS reports - Tinker Terrible -"If you had been in John Carpenters The Thing, the movie wouldn't have been so suspenseful." -Looks like Popeye only took a small bite of spinach -I bet you write self help books. -Your bicep looks like an Adam’s apple -"They're right, you do look great... if you were made entirely out of pipe cleaners." -"Have you been to the ER recently? If not, consider it." -Got that dope bicep peak though. Lotta body builders strive for that. -I feel like im going to hell for this -You read about Agent Orange and signed up to be a Specialist. Thank you for your service. -You must be an intolerable asshole because even your body is growing away from you lol -"thank you for your service, your an eternal spiritual being on a temporary journey in a temporary shell, everyone ages." -"He got that little egg muscle like in the cartoons 😂 -💪🥚" -Bro needs more spinach. -A well a you have a really nice bracelet. -As someone who also has MS your photo makes me want to end it early. Not because of MS and my potential future but because of your face. -Uncontacted tribes look at cameras with a more welcoming face. -You look like John Glover with an alien chestburster about to pop -"It looks like you swallowed a whole Playstation, and it got stuck in your stomach" -You need to get some sunshine on that flesh. You aren't rocking the trucker tan! -"Um, sir, your chest is giving birth to a baby–" -"Roasting aside, what filter is this? The effect is pretty cool haha" -It bothers me one of your nipples is hairy and one isn’t -Can’t do it. You’re stronger than I’ll ever be. Nothing but love -You got them Popeye muscles -Bet you were featured on Ancient Aliens. -You look like you just lost Wilson -You need Spinach -Got that majestic bead of hair from my chest pubes down to my ball fro…. -"Author? I guess what they say about monkeys and typewritters is true, after all." - Bradly cooper on crack -Ted kaczynski head ass -You look like a bag of potatoes that has been forgotten about for 3 months. -Your chest looks like a car dashboard after the airbag inflates -"My dude, have you just eaten some spinach?" -"You've met the hunchback of notre dame, now meet the hunchfront." -Thank you for your service. -Corporal Crazy-eyes Collins -"I also have MS (37 F) and got some jokes about it, but they're a little shaky. But you normies making fun of a neurological disease? You people have some nerve!" -pls donate sperm an blood -I can't roast you. In your case that's too mean. I'm surprised you're asking this. -You look like a cartoon character taking a deep breath -His body looks so miss proportioned to the point that he looks like an AI generated picture. -smash -"MS? Does that stand for Man Swirl? If so, you nailed it! Thank you for your service." -Flexing like a weak cartoon character -My uncle recently died and had MS. I won't entertain this. -Disney Animators did a better job hiding phallic shapes than you’ve done hiding the dick in place of your bicep. -He's built like a bad break dancing accident -The real life veggietale. -Nice to see you've got a wankers forearm though. -You look great man! -You look like someone drew Gumby as a human -I'm sure it was easy not to ask but how did you resist telling for all those years ? -You look like a clear condom stuffed full of broken walnuts. -"Private Derpy - -Thank you for your service!" -That can of spinach did your bicep dirty -My boy here looks like Luffy from One Piece tried to go second gear and the pumping blood got halted under the man titties -I think you can now qualify in the 'Special Forces' if you so wished. 🫡 -You look like someone took all the stuffing out of a stretch Armstrong -"Stonewall- nah, wheelchair jackson." -Dude’s built like a Picasso draft. -"Your are is like Popeye before spinach with that little bump! For real though, you look pretty good for having ms." -"Not gonna roast you, Brother. Vet here too. -Thank you for serving, even if it was the Space Force ... - -Ok I lied..." -When is the release of unabomber manifesto vol.2? -If you didn’t disclose your ms I would swear you swallowed a tire -He’s got those pop eye before the can of spinach muscles. -You look like Bradley Cooper’s Psychological trauma if it manifested a physical form -Did you take that picture with your strong hand? -"You look like Legal Eagle combatting a savage crack addiction. Stay strong, brother! ✊️" -"It would be twisted of me to roast you, a Veteran with MS. Thank you for your service." -Your body looks like a melting candle -"All I’m going to say is Popeye…. - -But thank you for your service… - -I take it your balls haven’t been blown off… - -Because that takes some… - -Respect to you 😊" -"Thank you for your service. - -Not the military, I mean making us all feel better about the way we look. - -But seriously, you're a brave dude. Much respect." -That bicep needs its own zip code. -You look like a resident evil zombie -Keep fighting soldier🫡 -Keep fighting soldier🫡 -MS? I thought it was from multiple surgeries due to war -"Lieutenant Dan nahhh this the Walmart version. This Lieutenant Dave or some shit -I'm actually really sorry that's fucked up" -"MS pain, more like drawn on MS paint." -Uh. Your right arm bicep. Have you been in space and perhaps know anyone named Ripley? -Semper Gumby in physical form. -You built like a chewed up piece of gum -"Sir, there is a golf ball in your arm." -comment -Dude she was cheating on her husband with you! How do you think that makes him feel? -Make sure the next woman you stalk is single beforehand -You mean some girl you chased online until she said she has a husband to make your sorry ass leave her alone? -Her husband is a better warhammer painter than you -You look like someone who names their cat “Garfield” -"Don't worry, women love overweight sad sacks who collect Warhammer 40K shit. - -You're basically waddling panty remover now. - -Edit: forgot to add /s" -She described your dick and he decided it didn't count as cheating. -Did she know she was your girlfriend? -Wall Street bets is leaking. -"It is weird. You actually look like a man whose wife has a boyfriend, not the other way around" -"It's odd you have an imaginary girlfriend and even in imagination land, she has a boyfriend or husband..." -I think you want the Virgin fan fiction page. This is r/roastme. -"On the bright side, you found out your dad is still alive. " -I thought women cheat up? -"Hey how do you think he feels, his wife committed beastiality with an orangutan" -Did you find out before or after the restraining order? -Have you ever wondered how much of her husband's DNA is now in your beard? -"Don’t lie, you haven’t assembled her yet, she’s still on the bench behind you." -"Yeah, his name is Brutus. The only male goat at the petting zoo. You’ve been banned from the petting zoo indefinitely for good reason. Sheila the female goat doesn’t want to see you anymore. -Owner of the Petting Zoo" -That's quite the pile of shame. And I'm not talking about the unpainted warhammer. -Liam Obeseon -"Look on the bright side, now you and the husband can split her food bill. Teamwork makes the dream work" -Your hand has a husband? -You have three hairlines -Her husband must be Gollum for her to want to cheat on him with you. -"I can't believe your girlfriend has a pulse, let alone a husband.. - - - -Hope that made you smile bro... ....fuck that bitch" -At least you still have your toys -"That’s her dad, dummy. She’s 9." -Nice taste in calenders pussy. Maybe that's how you finally got some. You are what you eat leftovers. -"You could get a real relationship if you based your fucking minis. Tell me you don’t follow through, without telling me you don’t follow through." -Oh man I can only imagine what sort of barn animal that woman is 😂😅 -Subscriptions aren’t relationships big guy -Her husband is your father. -Aren't side-pieces supposed to be....you know....worth it? -Looks like your hair left for another head too -I’d rather be you than the husband -"To:Lardass - -just because she’s chatting with you on Onlyfans doesn’t mean she’s your girlfriend. Get a treadmill you sack of lard." -You were her cleanup dude. -"All roasts aside, make sure her husband knows since he doesn't deserve that." -"One day you'll go full circle, and your future wife will tell her bf that she has a husband. - -Either that, or you'll go full circle from sitting in that gaming chair." -You better read the terms and conditions before stealing her husband. -You look like the anal-birthed love child of John Leguizamo and Ricky Gervais that aged like Brendan Frazier. -Ask yourself how she'd feel about it. She had a terrible plan B which was doomed to fail but she couldn't find a better one... -... I feel sorry for the husband more -I see this is a valid time to move onto MEN 😌 -"Well, take what you can get and don't be picky." -Who would have thought a blow-up doll would have a husband? -"Sir, if your “relationship” with this so-called married “girlfriend” of yours was as “convincing” as the comb over you’ve got going on, I’m sure you could see through the “indiscretions.”" -Wait till she finds out you have a boyfriend. -"Lol, he just found out Barbie has Ken." -Your blood offends Khorne -"Don’t worry, your cholesterol levels will still fuck you." -"Geez, her husband must have a face like bucket of arse holes if she thought you were an upgrade." -Makes you wonder if he creampied her before you ate her doesn’t it?! -Your charisma is a 6. -But you look like a balding husband yourself -Your ugly fat and in a gaming chair. We all know how this went down. You were scammed out of money by married women way out of your league. You were a dumbass for falling for it. No need to roast you cause reality already did! -"I don't care to kick a man while he's down. But hey, at least you'll have more money to buy cool Mini/Models, and more time to paint them. - -Are those Warhammer 40k?" -Liar... you don't have a girlfriend. -"""do you have a husband? "" sounds like a first date kind of question." -"Damn, a whatsapp scam got you good." -I’m sure your right hand will forgive you as long as you don’t make it wear the wig again -"So you're telling me you found out your roommate had been fucking your blow up doll? Don't worry bro, you'll meet a nice plastic girl again some day." -sounds like your girlfriends problem not yours -Did you eat her? -You must have more hair. How can it worse than the pegging -Are you going to tell her husband? You need to diet 🏋🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♂️🚴🏻‍♂️ -Hey you could look like George Zimmerman -"You were her trophy boyfriend. Participation trophy, that is." -No woman can resist 2002 Tooth and Nail pop punk as a soundtrack to 3 minutes of sweaty love making -"So she was sick of her husband, went to you and ran back to her shitty husband?" -"My friend, she is not your anything. Mentally separate her from you. Go for a long walk. Call your parents. Just chill. Sorry this sucks and it’s not fair but it’s not you. Do you have a video game you’ve been thinking about getting into? Drink less sugar, you’re kind of unhealthy." -Left hand finally figured out what you’re doing with right hand huh? -Is that a necron army behind you? -Now you can say you banged a married woman -"I know, dude; she goes to another school." -Nah she just wanted out after she saw your 40k collection. In all seriousness sorry man that’s rough. -Girlfriend. Riiiiiggght -At least you finally lost your virginity… or was she just looking to boost her ego with a guy who busts before penetrating? -Holy shit if you’re the affair just imagine what the husband looks like -Just found out someone's wife is my girlfriend* -Who puts unpainted minis in a display cabinet? -*You* have a girlfriend? -"lol “girlfriend”. - -So cute of you to name your pillow." -This doesn't seem to be a problem unless you gave her your real name. dummy -Your imaginary girlfriend is married? -So your girlfriend had a husband and she was with you? Does this mean she's hmmm bisexual? -Hairiest side chick ever. -Did she tell you that you've been paying their mortgage also? -"Imagine the amount of dried cum on the front of that gaming chair. Seriously. It’s gotta be measured in ounces, not grams." -Better than finding out she has a dick… tho you look like you may be into that kind of thing?! -The husband knew and had a shame kink. Later they would sit together making fun of all your geeky shit and then watch the secret videos she took critiquing your form and stamina. -Let's be honest the chances that you have a girlfriend are about as good as the chances that your hairline holds up -Damn. First your hair leaves you and now your girlfriend. -Being the side piece was the highlight of your life. -"She doesn’t have a husband, she just said that so you would leave her alone" -Ask if they offer returns for the Philipinas that you ordered online -"Your anime sex pillow doesn't count as a ""girlfriend""" -She seems happy. You are the guy that convinces women to not get divorced. -"Fuck you, that guys the one I feel sorry for, did he at least find out" -Brother nim no my bad let my correct ex side piece working out isn't too hard ya know I mean you recognize the brand pepper than start chasing random women on the street(or be gay) that should help. -Did she know she was your girlfriend? -This is how you turn gay -"Dude, are you stupid? Just keep railing her!" -Look at the bright side im sure his dick is bigger and I’m certain he’s better looking. -And he’s gay… -Even your imaginary girlfriend lied to you! -Bro took “anything after 12 is dinner” way too seriously -Was she hoping you'd eat him and take his place? -Nice chair… what are you? 12 years old? -Bro’s so destined to be a home wrecker he’s shaped like a wrecking ball -Seeing a pattern with these reddit mods -"I swear I’ve seen an apology video from you before? One about some alleged private messages in a Roblox or Minecraft discord server? If not then I’m sure yours will be coming out soon -/s" -Everyone has a pet project! -Dude is so dumb that he might be the husband. -you're now the second wife -Did you tell them to move out of your house yet? -How ugly is her husband that she saw it fit to cheat on him with an uggo like you!? -I cant disrespect anyone possessing a doom scythe. Shes expendable bio-matter. Find another meathole. -This wouldn't have happened if you played BattleTech -"Is that an imperial knight in the background? Holy shit, people actually buy those?" -……did she know she was your girlfriend? Or was she your real girlfriend in the way that Dr. Phil is a real Doctor? -"It happened to me, you're not alone brother. Don't expect that bitch to ever be content or experience real happiness... she is stuck in the hell she created for herself" -Your girlfriend was the husband -At least she hasn’t found out about your wife! -"Y'all aint the side piece, y'alls the side whole..." -"You spending 10k on an OnlyFans girl doesnt make her your ""girlfriend""" -"He’s called your Dad, and your mom isn’t your girlfriend." -Goddamn. Imagine what the husband looks like if you’re the upgrade. -"You play necrons, I'm surprised you even get any at all" -I mean does it hurt as much as when the planet broke before the guard did? -Imagine your wife cheating on you and it’s with just this guy -That’s a huge pile of shame and I don’t mean the Necrons -Imagine being her husband -"Wanking over women’s instagram stories doesn’t make them your girlfriend, just so you know for next time." -Imagine how hurt her husband feels that his wife cheated on him with a simp like you. -"Sorry she did that, you look like a great person. I can’t roast you, people get busy and or bored, too many reasons to give but you look like you deserve more better than that" -"Don't worry, you'll be safe. But a comedian who cracks a tame joke about her is going to get the shit slapped out of him!" -"I refuse to roast you, especially after that. Her I would roast." -I'm not going to roast you. Do a good deed and tell him how much of an asshole she is. -"The good news is, that 400lbs woman was your cousin. Her ""husband"" is actually another one of your kinfolk." -"Sorry to hear that. Hey, at least you’re immortal given that you have no life. So you can spend the rest of eternity in solitude and anger." -You aren't single like you aren't going bald. -That' s OK. You are not doing anything with her anyway. -"To be fair I don't think OnlyFans require disclosure -Best payback would be to delete your account.." -It’s cause you play Necrons bro 🧐 -"$5000 worth of plastic on the shelf behind him, and this guy's complaining about his life..." -You need to lose weight big time -Hey sorry the same thing happened to me -Holy shit it’s cartman at 40. Probably still lives at home. I mean that half assed attempt at a combover says mommy helped me. That and just look at the display case in the background it’s screaming mom’s house. -That's what happens when you remove the gag from your victim. -This is what happens to Zelensky if Ukraine loses the war. -It must hurt even more when you realized that meant your sister never invited you to the wedding. -She cheated on her husband with a lesser man? That’s backwards. -She was cheating with YOU? She must have been desperate -Just because she smiled at your doesn’t mean she was your girlfriend dude -like your shirt says forever. its not forever with a cheating woman. at least you have more time to settle into singleness and more hobbys -You have the dad bod. -Damn man... you good though? Jokes aside that sucks -Keep her -"Well, it could be worse. She could have left her husband for you." -"I'm confused, you look like the sad, nerdy husband that's supposed to get cheated on?" -Don’t worry pal - you aren’t alone. Women are the most vindictive and dishonest creatures on the planet -You're not the first trans to get dropped -You honestly thought you had a chance? You must still get the feels from Disney movies and rom-coms. -Still better than finding out she has a penis! -"It could be worse; at least, you still have a home with your mom." -"You still have a ""girlfriend"" and not an ""Ex-girlfriend"". Don't be a greedy dickhead." -"Just like with your little toys, I think you're just making up stories. SMH" -Any chance he would let you get him from a sneak from behind position “with consent”. To even the score. -Damn. Let me get to a pokecenter and get you a burn heal. -Now this a whole new level of friendzoning. -Congratulations -Yeeaaahhhhh…. No she doesn’t. -tight. less work for you -She just told you that to get out. -Bro falls into Buy one get one free scheme -It’s best that y’all just stay siblings. -She only used you for IT support bro... just move on -"Well, if they decide they want a threesome and invite you over, then she and him want to both peg you..." -"Go ahead and blow him, be his bitch also" -"Look on the bright side. If she’s cheating on him with you, odds are you’ve got the bigger dick." -Ye I wonder why -"Your poor brother in law, has your sister told him?" -Your hair is leaving you too. -"Bruh why are you wasting your time with 40k? You know fantasy is back right? Shit if I was a girl I’d probably lie to you too, you’re obviously a sucker for punishment." -You should have known your mom had a husband. He's your dad after all... -I'm sorry your waifu did not remain single and a virgin for the entirety of the anime's runtime. -Stop banging your brothers cousin bro!! -"Guys stop this. He deserves better dont roast him to make it worse. I dont care is this is all for content, bro his girlfriend literally had a husband let's make him feel better!" -The candy and naps theme don't go well -You look like pre-caseo -You’re my wife’s boyfriend from all the memes! -Just because you watch her on stream and you paid her to stand on you in costume at Comicon doesn't mean she was your girlfriend -"I know you want to be roasted, but I just can't. I'm sorry for the pain you must be feeling. But hey, look at the up side of things. By the looks of it it'll take at least a couple of years before you hairline fully recedes. You got to look at the positives my man!" -You look like Jixaw... but that is a very high complement in the Dutch-\*metal\_pipe.mp3\* -Unlikely you’ll ever feel happy again -"No - -Sorry for what you're going through" -Ok let’s go for the throat. Not even your power armor in the background can save you from your zero luck stat. -No. You will power through this bro. I know you will. -Accidental NTR for a vanilla lover. -Was she Borg or Klingon? -"You could be, i don’t know, her husband? Compare the two from an outside perspective of which one would sting worse." -Hubby might make it worse for you for sure -You were literally second fiddle. -like my dad always says “STOP IM NOT YOR DAD KID IM TRYING TO KIDNAP YOU“ -"After seeing what’s in the background either there was no girlfriend, or she made up a husband when she saw it." -That’s not all she has… or had. -Did your girlfriend tell you the news before or after she saw your glass case of sci-fi memorabilia -"This is awesome, I’ve always wanted to roast my wife’s boyfriend!" -Dont worry you can press start bew conversation on girlfriend ai -"Look on the bright side, you will save a ton of money not paying for her services anymore." -"What's sad is that most people are like ""you're fat"", ""you're ugly"", ""small dick"", ""incest"". - -No one is bashing you for the right thing. - -Maybe you could get a good loyal woman if you hadn't picked the only hobby more expensive and less worthwhile than Magic: the Gathering. - -I hope the one time you use each of those Warhammer minis is worth the fucking price of a Tesla." -Ahahahahaha. -How ugly is her husband? -You have a nicer toy collection than him -Your Amish family is at the front door and they don't want u back.....lol luv brother luv -"Roasting aside, marriage is just a piece of paper. At what point in dating is a good time to tell the person you're still technically married. You're having fun with someone new, time flies. Then all of a sudden they're proposing to you and you have to have that awkward conversation." -Sancho -"believe it or not, when the onlyfans girl messages you back, that does not warrant a relationship" -He married his sex doll 😂 -I'm questioning your intelligence for opening yourself up to the negativity of the Internet -"Again... E-Girlfriend is not the same as real girlfriend. Don't know how many times we need to go over this. - - -Aside of that... Damn dude... Sorry." -She just told you that to let you down softly. She really just found someone that could stretch that itch inside her. -Spending thousands on her OnlyFans does not a girlfriend make. -You were the side piece 💀 -He’s better let looking too -How you lose an imaginary girlfriend lmao -FYI your on the winning side -You should date her husband as revenge. -Sounds like she prioritized you more than your hairline prioritized your hair. -"""make it hurt worse than that please"" - -She was getting off knowing you were eating her husband's cum while you were going down on her." -You are alredy cooked -Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! - Wing a simp to an OF whore does not make her your girlfriend -How didn't you know your mother was still with your father? -roasting you is kinda like beating a dead horse. with you actually being the horse. -"Well, looking at your table and case behind you. I would say you made up the girlfriend and husband." -Is this better or worse than looking like Ted Cruz? -"Tell him you are her boyfriend, be a man" -You didn’t know you had a brother-in-law? -You're going to be even more pissed when you see her husband wearing your stormtrooper helmet and throwing your lightsaber in his bum waiting for her to catch a load in your millennium falcon -"The chick on onlyfans you throw stupid amounts of money at to have the ""girlfriend experience"" text messages and occasional facetime with doesn't count as a girlfriend bro." -You mean your husband has a girlfriend -"Looking at you, her husband must be a fucking hobgoblin." -You finally met your dad? -Thats a weird way to find out about your step-dad -Is your girlfriend you dressed up as a girl? -You look like someone who wouldn’t realize this… -Her Husband talks about you a lot in r/wallstreetbets -Having her bathwater doesn't mean Belle is your girlfriend. -Look! All of your friends are in the picture too! -"I’m struggling to believe how a woman… a *human* woman slept with you, and that same woman also is married to, again, *human* man that presumably wanted to be married to her. - -Something doesn’t add up!" -Wonder if she’s going to war on his hammer right now -How did you find out? Was it a DVD of a home video on a boat? -Just because only you can see her doesn't mean she's real my friend -"Just let her husband know everything. He should know the truth, because the lady should suffer" -"You're one of those people who just spray their Necrons in Lead Belcher, aren't ya" -"Just because you regularly pay her tokens on chaturbate, doesn’t make her your girlfriend" -"She wasn't your girlfriend, you weren't her boyfriend, you were just some ""other guy"" she cheated on her husband with. (that's one million percent what she's telling him too btw) - -Ouch." -"You didn't tell us who's the husband, is it your father?" -Did she tell you that she was married before or after she saw all your Star Wars models??? -should've bought a decent table before buying a married woman dinner -"You are so stupid, your existence gives the evidence enough for a man to become a simp. You have made everyone in this group stupider just by you posting this. You have contributed nothing in this society. May God save your soul." -Of course she does. You didn’t think you could satisfy a woman all by yourself did you? She probably has a couple more side kicks just like you only better looking and more successful.. And you thought you were her one and only?? Hell no!!! Your the fries of a steak dinner -Ha ha ha! She really hates her husband 🤣 -OF girlfriend is not a real girlfriend. -"As a fellow 40k player, the odds are way better that you'll finally end up painting all those minis you own than the odds of you finding love in this lifetime" -"Nah sorry, it's harsh enought" -Those catfish stories keep getting more complex. -"She was unhappy with her husband enough to step out for something new. She dated you and thought she’d go back to him. Wow. -At least you’re not into like Warhammer or anything…" -"I mean, if she was dating you, you couldn't have lost much." -Sucks to be you lol -She's not your girlfriend just because you stalk her -f**king sh*t -I don’t know what’s the hardest to believe. You have a girlfriend or « she » is married. -Guess you need some time to clean all the husband man-fat off your bellend now right? -The husband must be a vegetable if you're the forbidden fruit. -At least she didn't turn out to be a husband. Take the W -Did your suggar mummy give you money to buy that Warlord Titan?/s -comment -"You may live in Spain, but your tits live in France and Portugal." -"Geez they spell ""35f from Spain"" really weird in Spanish 😒" -"Okay, but how big is your dick?" -Saggiest tits in Ibiza -How the fuck are you 19 with tits like a spaniels ears? -"If the police took a DNA swab of your mouth, it would test positive for penis" -19? Those tit's say over 40 -Her link to only fans will appear soon. -You’re sucking in your gut like your life depends on it in the second picture -You look like you just spent two weeks in Dubai. -Your hips do lie. -Shocked the account isn’t NSFW -Are you a plumber? Because you look like you’ve laid a lot of pipe. -Not even the most dishonest of politicians could make the leap between your tits. -What are the chances that some lucky guy is going to lift up that skirt and have a dick punch him in the face? -"This is the wrong sub to go phishing for new ""daddies"" so you can afford 5head and chin reduction surgeries." -I whole heartedly believe you’re a lady boy. -SHOW ME THE DICK -After all that make up and clothes I still feel that I can smell you from here …😨 -"You remind me of a sock I kept under my bed when I was 12, except more used and crusty." -Bros cleavage looks like a peace sign -You look like you use a hello kitty dildo to do your makeup -That hair color job is older than 19. -"Hey, Halloween is coming. I love your chlamydia costume!" -"You all know damn well her body count at "" 19"" is more than Jason, Micheal Myers , and Freddy's body count" -This is the most insecure person I’ve seen on here. Holy shit -"Alexa, como se dice ""cum dumpster"" en Español?" -I’m calling bull on this -No I don't want to subscribe for free -"TIL that in Spain, only every other birthday is counted towards their age. Makes a lot more sense realizing you’re actually 38. - -Also, I was gonna make a joke about your saggy ass tits, but that’s just low hanging fruit." -"You: “ I want Shakira Mom!!!” -Mom: “ We have Shakira at home”" -Great Value Shakira -150 full hour 85 half hour 65 15 minutes … 25 surcharge no condom -Definitely top 98% on OnlyTrans! -Finally figured out what all those bulls are running from -Nice natural tits for a 50 year old trans -I didn't know Spain also had Thai boys. -I use to fuck sluts like you then I started respecting myself -Her blood type is precum -You look like your father never came home!! -Seems like you’re about to expand your collection of baby daddies and child support contributors. -Nice gut -Only a matter of time until you will be turning tricks for a paella special. -How are you 19 with the tits of a 50 year old that breast fed entire village? -Your morning routing includes plucking your mustache. -I ran out of tea bags can i borrow yours? -"If I went to Spain, I would see 5 or 6 of you standing outside a massage parlor" -19? You’re at least 42… -19 is a lie. Female is also a lie. But hey it’s 2024 so I guess you can identify as whatever age and gender you want. -19 has to be a lie. Either way you’re so ugly even your eye is trying to look away -"Those tits are just like Bill and Hilary Clinton's marriage, part of the same entity, but miles apart." -Temu Shakira -Spain? Must live in Barf-Alone-a. -The rain in Spain falls mainly on this “lady’s” testicles. -"U look like a lazy fuck, I think a corpse would be more exhilarating. U look like u live an apartment that permanently smells like cat shit and is drowning in bras because you clearly don’t wear one, like ever. How u gonna be 19 and have titties like a 40 year old mom of 8?? The theme here, you exude and drip laziness" -Tonight on when transitions go wrong… -The Plain in Spain -Are those pics before or after your parents disowned you? -You look like you masturbate to Franco posters. -"You said you were 19f from Spain, and the lie detector determined that was a lie." -The men in Spain are different -I don't even want to know how hairy you are everywhere. Did you shave your mustache before the pics? -"A paella is more fishy than you. - -Those shoulders say NFL quarterback. Those hips say Sumo" -Somebody clicked “randomize” when adjusting the makeup settings. -I can tell that you break stuffs when you argue. -"You look like a transgender hooker pretending to be classy, who ended up being a lady boi." -"Those hips do lie. 19f? - -Does the F stand for five-head?" -100% 19m from thailand so nah -"Shit, I thought you were a lady boy (not a pretty one) from Thailand." -You’re transitioning quite well. Almost fooled me. -Those breasts are haggard to death the same as your face. Not in 10 lifetimes when I settle for this. -Who’s lazier? Ur eye or ur tits? -"You nailed all the ""my dad left years ago and is still somehow disappointed"" poses. " -You’ve had more meat in you than a retired butcher in his hands throughout his career. -You look exactly like those sad pictures that pop up on porn sites that say they're single and want to meet me. -Damn what happened to Shakira? Is she on coke? -You really pulled off the GTA hooker cosplay! -You look like an autistic Jessica Alba -19MtF* from Spain -"Guys , guys !! Chill she a little down …lol" -Identifies as a SPAM -Your transition is going well. It's almost believable -You've stubbed your toe on your nipple before haven't ya -Girl... Do something about those eyebrows -She got a evil plans in mind -What happened to ur upper lip? -I just saw some videos of you trying to steal phones in Italy -FLAPJACK -"Nice try, bro" -The Joker ? -You're a drag..... in every definition. -"She never ran with the bulls, but she's had many balls run across her face." -"i can smell the burnt paella - -not sure what that means" -"19F  -19f Stripper. Looking for work!" -i can kiss you and i will taste 95% of the men from Europe -"What's Spanish for ""leave the money on the nightstand""?" -The way you take these pictures seems like you’re trying real hard to hide an Adam’s Apple -Great Value Shakira -Mariah Scary -Some ol' flapjack titties -"The “roast me, but really check out my OF page!” Posts are getting old" -"19 year old body, 40 year old titties" -When one eye is on spanish time and the other is on Polish time -Woman went through three race changes in those pictures. -"How do you day ""flapjacks"" in Spanish?" -You use more filters than a hospital's HVAC system... -Jessica rabid -You look like you have as much personality as that piece of paper… -Look like a Low dollar Shikera -"Most people go to Spain to get some colour, if that colour is food poisoned white you may actually get laid." -Only Forgetful -"If you turn the paper, does it say €5 blowies in the disabled toilet" -Not Even the Tate brothers would sell her -It’s 19 miles from the left eye to the right eye. -Didn’t know they made the Spanish edition without brains too -In a few more years it's going to hurt waking around all thoes cobblestone streets with your tits dragging on the ground. -Gas went up when your water broke. -Living proof that the world renowned fame of how beautiful Spanish people are is heavily influenced by the amount of alcohol consumed -From Spain? Which corner? -Just get me another bottle of champagne and stop asking for a tip every 5 minutes -It’s the world’s oldest profession. You should be proud. -"Sir, this is a Wendy’s." -Yo face is longer than psalms -these photos look like ones used by scammers on tinder -are you buying makeup by the pound or pallet? -J no -The Bronx isn’t Spain dear. -I didn’t know Thailand was spelled S-P-A-I-N. -Generic Mexican hooker who preys upon drunk Americans in Tijuana. -I did my study abroad in Spain in 2005 and you told me you were 19 back then. -There is no tread left on those tires. -Only Fansth -You look like Howard the ducks side bitch -Spain ? you look like a Thai lady boy -i think u stole my lil sisters barbie dolls skirt. -"Conquistadora? Of what, exactly?" -Girl got them national geographic tettehs -you look like you get texted a lot late at night but never during the day -Authentic taco— smells like onion and cilantro -It looks like it drew on that face with an etchy sketch -I only have $100 is that okay -You look like my aunt….and that’s….not…good.. -"I bet your ""Arby's"" looks like it survived the inquisition" -You might be Spanish but you look like a great value burrito at best -I bet you make good Moroccan tea -You have two sets of eyes examining me from four different angles. Or whatever's behind me. -"Football eyes. One is at home, the others away." -"Fine, I'll sub to your Only fans for $2 A month. -If you want me to watch any videos I'll need a lot more though." -19 what? years of service? -You could be fluent in every language yet still not be able to say a single thing. -Nothing sexy here she's Splain jane -"Your lazy eye might have missed 8 cm of roots showing, but thst's no excuse to let your stylist not fix it." -I think these pictures gave me the clap. -No one care's if your from spain...only if you know how to cook n clean n stuff. -Ready for the casting sofa -Euphoria extra -You can literally see the 5 o clock shadow coming through in the last pic -Temu has a dating section? -They call it makeup for a reason. -When you asked for Shakira but your mom says you have Shakira at home -Being spanish doesn’t justify you being ugly -Must be pretty ugly. My screen is still loading…. -What strip club do you work at? -19 and theyre already teabags -whens the last time you wore pants? your knees need it -"Your like a hurricane, it is hot and moist but when you leave you take half my house too" -I was going to ask you what your father thinks about the way you dress but he clearly isn’t in the picture -"She gives off ""anal prolapse at 16"" vibes" -"19m->f from Spain, let’s see - -*fixed the title for you" -I think I saw you on puta locura -Defo a Depressed Romania hooker with a fake Spanish passport. -Worst fake eyebrows this side of a ladyboi corner in Thailand. -Lookin good dude! -r/traps is what you wanted -Pronouns? I genuinely can't tell. -I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you yet… -You look like cha-ka from land of the lost! -Just share the link already 🙄 -Puta -You could play hacky-sack with those tits. -There's enough sagging there to legitimately call those teats... -Looks like Shakira's kid brother got into her drawers again... -Goes by “They” -Teemu Shakira 🤣 -You look like a Thai ladyboy lookalike of Shakira. -Wish version of Shakira -two clicks away from being an OF puta. -What time will you start your shift in Paradise ? -Girl gets her fashion sense straight from PornHub. -"Even though your only 19, you’ve had more trains run through you than the “North-South Connection”" -I bet her body count is still higher than the upvotes smh -I'm not subscribing to your OF. -"You look like you went to diddy’s parties, and are proud of it" -Is your dick bigger then mine -I am lady boy -You’ve been split roasted so much I don’t know if I could roast you anymore than you already have -You look like a hastily assembled mannequin. -You look like a cum dumpster for Football players when they lose. -"Hi guys, his name is raul btw" -Its like if you bought an escort off TEMU -Good to see a Bojack horseman spin off is still an option in 2024 -"Destiny called, she said it’s your time to dance on the pole." -I see a lot of ex husbands in your future -"When you're dream girl is Shakira, but you have a severe astigmatism." -Did you mean 33 year old “escort” -Lets just get this over with and give up your OF!! -I think you meant to post this on the cheap escort sub? -If I was the bull and saw those dead eyes I’d forfeit. Win to the saggy tittied matador. -She either goes to the local nursery school to get her make up done or she's a graduate of Clown College and attended Cum Lambda Ho sorority. -Hoochimama!! -How many dicks a day lady? -Joder! Almodovar will love her...! -"19 years since you graduated high-school you mean, right?" -Your minimum credit card monthly payments must be in the 6 figure range faking it that hard. -"Te cagas en la puta, o que?" -Dollar store Barbie.... -Highest paid model on only flapjacks. -What’s the OF? -Spanish Mail-Ordered Bride by Wish -Split roast? -You are the antonym of : Wifey material . -"What's spanish for ""peep show splooge target""?" -El bunny boiler -How much per hour? -"When you order Paella, you expect quality. When they order a 19 y/o mail bride from Spain, they send you back." -Have you applied to the circus yet or are you trying to get a promotion at work directly from the source -You look like the way you know your sister was on her period is because your dads willy tastes funny -"As a person who would probably catch your attention, I would avoid you like the plague." -"Long time since Batman, but nice to see you Mr Nicholson." -"Pretty convincing, but you can’t fool me" -"19f. You sure you're not a dude dressed in drag.""" -"Oh, I saw you in that ladyboy video recently!" -Smack and prostitution really goes hand in hand -Glad to see Spain isn't as great as they claim to be -Whoreganic diet for sure. -Did I see you on r/noses too? -"It looks that you have an old soul - -Not in the good way though…" -"When Macklemore said ""The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing women that they look better in the makeup"" he personally meant you. And then even without makeup, you don't look half as good, as you yourself think you do." -You look like my uncle -The makeup they use on trans women really is getting more and more convincing... -Almost as preety as Samantha Hudson on a bad day -How goes it on Only One Fan? -Gonna need a belt for those titties in a couple of years. -Dollar Store Shakira -"by far, the ugliest girl from Spain I have ever seen!" -"In 10 years you’re gonna have 3 baby daddies, be in an abusive relationship with your boyfriend (but he just gets mad sometimes so you’re on with it). You’ll have at least one *Live, Laugh, Love* pillow." -comment -"not sure if im looking at Owen Wilson, or Caitlyn Jenner." -Third attempted mass blinding of users -Cinder block jaw having ass -You look like you buy raw meat from the supermarket and set it free in nearby fields -"no amount of hair comb over can cover that vast, enormous, barren wasteland you call a forehead" -Ffs why is everyone trasitioning now ? They even got woody harrelson -Why the square face? -You look like you have screaming relationship arguments in public places and you stalk your ex’s. -So how does one become a prostitute? -You look like you carry around a spoon and a lighter. -If Taylor swift was a broke crackhead -DON'T BE SO NEEDY. -Maybe don’t lead off with a picture from the methadone clinic. -"“A.I., show me five images of quintessential Eurotrash.”" -Your surgeon did a great job of shaving down your Adam's apple! -Luna lovegood midlife crisis -"They said ""Be there or be square"" and you never came" -Third attempt of what? Swapping genders from the looks of it -When you thought Florence and the machine meant her and her vibrator. -You look like the discount rack version of Helen Hunt -What’s up Aileen Wuornos?? -Even your midlife crisis is already 50yo. -"Bunny boiler in the making. Watch out, guys." -mom of 2 but feels like a mom of 6. needs valium and a lobotomy. will probably do heroin instead -You look like you “discovered” enjoying going out on dates by yourself -Hopefully this one gets rejected as well. -Jenny slate clone -You've got the jawline of a prize fighter -You look Amish af like a mortician did your make up as well -Woody Harrelson as the German prostitute in Anger Management. -This is your third attempt to look remotely feminine -Mousy blonde mop with Burt and Ernie face vibes. Not sure if this is the look you intended but congratulations -"Never mind a punch, that jaw could take a nuke." -When a man becomes a woman … -"With that semblance, would having sex with you be considered necrophilia?" -"Suprised, you can keep your mouth closed with that jaw you got." -"Oh jeez…3 times? Sorry the transitions didn’t work out for you, bro." -With that jawline you must be the female version of Lord Farquad -Who is this guy? -Elsa and Anna’s other sister in rehab for meth… -" -Why is Quagmire's dad showing up for a roast?" -You look like Helen Hunt if someone ordered Helen Hunt off Temu or Wish. -Holy fucck!? Your ears are so low that they’re level with your mouth! Do your body lice get lost in those brows? -"I see a future Glenn Close in fatal attraction, but with more twerking." -Gender bent Ryan McPoyle lookin ass -LOOK ITS GIGA CHIN -She’s very skinny. Tweety bird skinny. I’d bang her but I’m scared of getting a paper cut. -Third attempt at what? Brushing your hair? -"Twilight really fucked the actors up. I knew Kristen Stewart is slowly looking more and more manly, but Robert Pattinson turning woman is news indeed." -Temu sent Beth Dutton. -🗿 -Helen Hunt's transgender little brother. -"Your third attempt lead to someone's first attempt 💀 - -JK, -You're actually pretty - -...pretty annoying. Even the mods banned you twice." -"Third attempt at becoming a woman? On to the fourth you go, then." -I'm very proud of your recent opiate recovery. Stay strong twig. -Third attempt of looking female? -Exposure therapy doesn’t work to make you stop crying while looking in the mirror -You’re on the MAGA watch list if you ever hit a “real” XX woman -You look like someone who needs three tries in order to get a reddit post working -Is your charity case giving hormone injections to children? -Take the hint. -Plain yogurt has more flavor. “This is my third attempt” is what your mom said while holding the coat hanger for a final attempt. -"I've always wondered what meth tastes like , is your mom still lactating?" -You lie obviously about how you look with the first 2 pictures by fixing you're ugly with camera angel. The last 3 show you like you are.. Ugly -Ever seen the show strangers with candy? -Definitely look like a product of incest. -Hellboy wants his chin back. -"Standards are so low you would give me a chance - -(see what I did there)" -Boy I bet she thought she was T.I the way how she got her head up in that photo -ozempic? gonna say ozempic. -Duck i checked if u had NSFW roast me -kids .. look .. thats why you never ever do drugs -those long nights in the strip club hitting hard -Is this a fetish? -You look like you like the attention of being a survivor -If little boys didnt do the trench coat thing and instead threw on dresses -"When Forrest Gump buried you, I just assumed you were dead. This plot twist is throwing my roast game off, Jennay." -"The Goodwill super shopper look, nailed it." -What fucking disgusting thing happened in your life that made you choose earmuffs like that? -You look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose -"I have no idea where you live, but I can tell California liberalism has fried your brain" -"3rd Pic, you have a white chinchilla clinging to the side of your head" -Anastasia. After finding out the baker has a small dick. -Hola -Elizameth Shue -You look like Helen Hunt after doing massive powder twisters for a week. -33 yr old single quirky aunt vibes. -Goodwill Caitlyn Jenner -"Dw I gotcha, I'll finish the sentence for you: ""this is my third attempt to murder my best friend who I envy""" -Noel fielding -That’s the same pair of fry boots I wore to high school in the late 70s -if Helen hunt and Elizabeth shue made a trans son. -"Waiting for the unmarked van to screech to a stop, three masked kidnappers jump out and interrupt your selfie moment. As soon as they recognize you, they scramble back into the van and speed away. Without you." -3rd attempt at transitioning? -"You are the lost Bellido-Durán sibling from the Spanish ultra-catholic band “Flos mariae” - -https://youtu.be/viQOBLF3AcY?si=feqR4-XvU7Q6jAkU" -Meth is a hell of a drug -You look like last years winther… long white and boring -"3rd picture, random question, but Florence?" -"If the swat team forgets their battering ram, they can just use your chin!" -Third attempt at what? Transitioning? It shows. -Built like a Minecraft village. HRMMMM -I’m still on the fisrt phots putting yo shi on a grill -"You look like any generic small town girl from the 60s who went to the city to “make it big” and just ended up as a cumdump groupie for a jazz band who keep telling you they’ll “put you on the next track”, but never do." -"Wow, the surgeon did a great job on the Adam’s Apple shaving surgery, but when is the rest of the facial feminization surgery scheduled? That jaw and those eyebrows scream “DUDE”, just saying." -Your third attempt at what? Sobriety from methamphetamine? -I won't roast you . You are pretty -"First impression, looks autistic. -Checked your profile and wasn't disappointed." -You missed the message of the first 2 -You look just enough like a man to enter the women’s boxing olympics -Too pretty to roast. -Pipi long stockings with tiny breasts or non in sight -This girl looks like she eats granola and yogurt while wearing underwear standing in the kitchen. -"You look like one of those little Victorian dolls, but with anorexia." -I was just at that same bridge in Italy the 4th pic is at. And MY GOD was it full of basic women taking this exact photo. Just wanted to walk from the bnb to get gelato and it was a maze getting through there. -serious crazy cat lady vibes here -Tell me you shop on Etsy without telling me you shop on Etsy -Paper or plastic -"Dude, please stop doing these" -"What does that mean, my third attempt? Did nobody roast you on attempts 1 and 2? If they didn't, your probably good..." -"""I'm not like other girls"" (doesn't warn you before skinning your dog and wearing its skin)" -"The girl from The Lovely Bones, sorry not a roast, you just kinda look like her and I love that movie ❤️‍🩹" -Got more chin than a chinese phone book. -You look like Mac Tonight's long lost daughter -Albino Frankenstein looking Mf 😭 -my teachers boyfriend -I see a sickly Victorian child -I've seen sex dolls with more life in their eyes. -If Dana Plato lived too long -I guarantee you she smiles without teeth because her mouth looks like it’s full of jagged corn -"You look like the Morton salt girl trying to start an onlyfans 🤪. Jk, very cute" -I loved you in Twister 🌪️ -Thats a guy? -Lord far quad had a daughter -"When you smile, it looks like you’re pooping." -Your face looks like a sad handjob. -Methdonna lookin ass!😂😂😂 -ew -‘This is my third attempt’ is what your mum said about trying for a boy. In the end she just decided fuck it we will dress him in drag -You look like Jenny from Forrest Gump but only after she died of AIDS. -Remember when you fought Hulk Hogan at wrestlemania 7.... that was cool. -For some reason I get the vibe that you have a stash of stuffed animals displayed in your room but you have a SECRET stash that you store in a bin and you chew on them when you’re feeling a bit feral -I loved you in Inventing Anna -Got that Mr. Incredible ass jawline there m8 -You look like a young Helen Hunt on crack -Your one ear showing makes you look like a 50s angular tea cup. -It's like Owen Wilson doing drag as Helen Hunt -I think you listen to Christmas music all year. -"When no guy wants to give you attention, so you come back here for the third time" -Her hair looks like it all comes out one big hole on top of her head. -The geography says Europe but the meth says Ohio -You have a dude face -"Where are you on the spectrum? - -“Yes”" -I can't tell if you're a vegan or a heroin addict -Is your name Methany?? -Methanie! -🍆 -She’s pretty in the way she looks like she does drugs -Didn’t I watch you on “love after lockup”? -"Hermoine Granger isn’t quite the theme you need to go for to turn tricks, Reddit nerds only pay for OnlyFans and updoots." -Vampire? Ever herd of vitamin D? -June is over -"You’ve accepted the fact that you’re a total failure in every way possible and that’s your ONLY redeeming quality. After every interaction, the best case scenario is if they forget you immediately." -you look like you just escaped a meth lab. -"You be saying that to your ""boyfriend""...he's not gonna turn straight with you...." -THIS IS MY THIRD ATTEMPT is what your boyfriend told you hoping that someday it will be worth the effort -I bet you would have no problem taking a punch from Imane Khelif -I can’t decide which Snood character you look like the most -Is this a taxidermy spunk target? -"I was gonna ask if you’ve ever considered trying, but yep that’s you trying." -My God! i can smell your desperation for daddy's approval through my phone. It smells like unwashed pussy and calvin Klein cologne. -Good thing you’re not a olympic athlete that jaw and forehead would spark a lot of controversy -out here looking like a minecraft character with your giant block head -"A lot of the commenters are focusing on your eyebrows, and ignoring the rat’s nest you hastily glued to your scalp" -You look like the real Anna Delvey -When did you transition? -Your gene pool looks about as deep as my dogs water dish -Your third attempt at trying to convince people you’re a woman right? -"Your heard, large. Your hair, thin. Your skin, dry. Your lips, where?" -"Most interesting part of these, there is bridge with Apartments on top. Where is this place?" -Dana Scummy in The Ex-Files -You look like Peeta from the hunger games -At what? Getting laid or a glow up? -Three attempts is what it takes for guys to get hard for you -"Third Attempt in looking like a women? Dude, just except who you are." -Your name is Kyle right -Third attempt at fucking a tree branch and even that went limp -The alternate universe photos where Helen Hunt was born male and is mid transition. -Galaxia from Anger Management. -You could star in a movie called “Flour”. -How long before your nose meets your chin? -Temu Helen Hunt. -You look like an ad from brokensluts.com -You got that Shutter Island chic -Third attempt at a fentanyl overdose -"Very cool to see this ""where is she now"" for Wendy from Breaking Bad" -Listen if you wanna get fucked there's better ways -Escaped psychiatric patient vibes… -"Her friends have set her up on so many blind dates.... -FFS they need to set her up with a decent taste in outfits" -You use this sub when the heroin wears off and there's nothing else to do until the benefits are paid in. -Definition of thirsty. Try feeding your passions and maybe someone will find you interesting instead of desperate.  -Pastewka?? -Florence and no vagin -Minecraft Stefanie. -Knock off Jodie Foster -You look easy -"Third attempt? At what, getting sober?" -Crack head -Third attempt at having the whole Internet telling you that you look like the crackiest crack head of all crack heads! Or your tired attempt at actually making a post that's legible???? Meth/Crack is a hell of a drug!! -They rejected u in the audition for one of the extra crackheads in Breaking Bad just bcoz u looked so authentic drug addict that the show might have to face litigation. -You went to the saloon and asked for the “3 year old wet mop” cut -You look like a discount version of Jennifer Garner -"Chin-zilla mutated her forhead into a fivehead. Enough with the radiation already, move out of Tjernobyl. Now." -"Nobody wants to roast too hard, because you look like you’re on the edge." -Aaaaannnnddd ypu still fail! -Third attempt? Wtf do you want from us? -Abhorrence and the Machine -Why Are you trying so hard to get roasted? Your eyes say ‘I’m dead inside’ so I’m guessing it’s because it’s the only way you can feel something? -Not by the hair on my chinnie chin chin -You look like Britney Spears Instagram account -26 going on 43. -Calm down Methany -"She looks like she doesn't eat anything that grows,lol" -You look like the creepy Aunt from Per Semetary -You look like you still try and land a part time babysitting job just so you can fill their heads up with your anarchist ideas about how pretty people get all the advantages in life and we need to start over -Are you the love child of Desperate Dan ? -Really messed up how you took advantage of Forrest Gump. -Trailer swift! -Third attempt at what? Forming an image that will make you even remotely interesting to other people? -"Watch out, Forrest Gump is coming for you and that didn't end well." -Wish.com Taylor swift -Methanie Griffith -3rd attempt at rehab ? -"""Be there or be square"" they said and you still didn't show up" -You look like the trans version of Rocky Dennis -What’s jaw problem? -You look like Kevin Bacons ugly wife -You look like the Temu version of Kaitlyn Jenner. -You have a strong punch taking chin. -When you buy a hooker off of temu -Future pole vaulter -You look like a hand puppet used by someone with very long fingers -"You have the jawline of an army ranger , crimson chin looking ass" -"You look like if you had a piercing, they would stink and remain unwashed. You look like you love your dad and mom, but your mom’s personality is why people reject you. -You look like someone who needs to keep trying for a boy. That chin will make him leader of the free world. Good job looking like a b character who dies, mid season, from a two sentence, out of the blue, random death….. pulled out of the writers asses… but in reality you (the actress playing said character) went to rehab after doing to much blow, when the guy they all warned you about had you pay for the plan- b for his other girlfriend." -"If this is her third attempt, she must really dig that burning sensation" -14 year old autistic boy trying on wigs -"Favourite food - cow pie. -Desperate Dan would be jealous of that chin" -Transitioned Logan paul -"Youre not fooling anyone with that comb over, crimson chin." -How much for the night? -"I know, getting over tuberculosis is tough, but third time's the charm 😁" -"James Van Der Beek, drag is perfectly acceptable. You can be open and free about it!" -She started AIDS. -No one cares about you. Not even Reddit after a third attempt -Charity Case? No one is giving you shit with eye brows like that! -You look like a Seth McFarland cartoon with that jawline -3rd attempt at transitioning? -She looks like Quagmires dad -It’s a NAH from me dog. You look like Robert Pattinson auditioned for Interview with a Vampire. -I see why -The third attempt at cutting your own hair? -Your third attempt at what? Passing for female on ladies night? -Do your clients still pay you in cash or has it moved onto just drugs? - Congratulations on your 3rd transition. -Heroin chique -Your Erasmus will be the peak of your life and the only interesting story you'll have to tell to your children; but you will totally omit the amount of dicks you took while abroad. -Pretty fly for biguy. -"Hiw can you be this desperate to be roasted? Your family ignoring you so you're coming to us? - -If you mean third attempt on your life that would require you to have a life to begin with." -The only thing you’re starved for more than calories is attention. -"THERE WAS ROOM FOR TWO ON THAT GOT DAMNED DOOR, ROSE!!" -Cute? More like a FUCKING SKELETON EW -At getting Peter Griffin to have sex with you? -Nothing more attractive than being able to see the precise shape of someone's skull. -Shelly?!? Northern exposure ended 30 years ago. -You look like you smoke cloves -ARE YOU THE LEAD SINGER FOR GARBAGE? -WE AREN'T BUYING THE ONLYFANS -Stan Smith transitioned -You live in a Stevie Nicks world. Fluffy is your favorite shape -If your jaw was any squarer it could cut stone -Oh Congratulations! Losing 2 babies must be difficult but you look well into your 3rd pregnancy and looking happy! -Wipe off the casting couch when you’re done -"We belive in you. - -This time you will succeed in getting off the meth!" -Your Disney fairytale is the movie Pretty Woman -Female version of Johnny bravo’s chin -Temu Barbie -"That wall in front of you is moving at 299,792,457 meters per second." -When does your Olympic boxing final start? -comment -"Even with the other two girls' faces blacked out, you're still the third best looking girl in that last picture" -"*Posts a RoastMe to get attention... since her husband gives all his attention to his mistress.* - -Don't worry, I see what you're doing here." -"How many times have you yelled ""I'm at \*least\* a seven with filters!"" ? 😒" -you look like you pass up a lot of great men with stable lives for a burnt out dude with neck tattoos and calls his part time job at walmart a side hustle because he sometimes DJs for his friends house parties he also cheats on you and the more your mom tells you to leave him the harder you fall for him -Last photo- top half from onlyfans. Bottom half from onlyhams -You're just looking for a free abortion because you're tired of paying for them. -What do you mean while you’re down? You were born with it. -"Damn, you're hot!! Not like hot hot, but best bitch at an Alabama strip club hot.." -Those thighs could be protected under National Parks legislation -Why are you down? Is it because of your hair? -Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! -Your hairline looks like it's running away from your face. You also look like you begrudgingly give blowjobs. -The depression is irradiating through the screen and it's ruining my dog's mood -"Don't know what your problem is, you look like a beautiful, charming, and intelligent guy." -I would but it’s not good to get shit on my shoes -"Your forehead size makes those ""brows"" look like the end of a greek column." -"Nope, can’t do it! . Call me weak. She is just to perfect. Great height, great teeth, nice strong legs, looks fukin great on camera. I am kind of stunned she is on here. I mean , I want to take her horseback riding, totally. I want to feed her carrots, I want to brush her mane. I want to brush her teeth and breed her off to pop me out some damn winners! Thanks for finding me first." -Your home decor is astonishingly more bland than your face -"""Kick me while I'm down"" that defines your every relationship with a man" -Bet you could eat an apple through a tennis racket -"You remind me of a pear that has been left on the countertop too long, it's past its prime, starting to smell, going soft, and nobody wants to eat or touch it. You've got the same shape too." -Must've gotten a nice discount on those tattoos. -Your cosmetology license was a waste of money. -You look like you need to google every other word to make sure you're spelling it correctly and the ones you don't google are just wrong. -Im gonna guess the guy in the green shirt has been trying for years but has been told he’s just a great friend. -"You sure look like you're ""down"" a lot. - -On your knees...on you back...underneath total strangers..." -You look like you’d eat a dick but ask to see the manager about the temperature it was served at. -100% chance you have a DUI -You look like Jessica Alba…..with a few extra chromosomes -Your eyebrows are okay -Did that skirt come with the slit in it or did you thighs do that when you put them on? -Whores face or horse face or both? -"If you are having problems getting a guy, just tell them for you fisting is “first base”" -Why you holding game of thrones like its a trophy?😭💀 -Your face is going to make a man’s fist very happy one day -You look just like a Targaryen....inbred for generations -You look like you believe he is going to call you back -You look like I would need to be introduced to you 7 times to remember your name. -"You're what they call a ""practice girl""" -"I would say that you won’t be down forever, but at your age you may be." -Looks like someone already kicked your face -"When furniture, clothes, shoe shopping at Ross and TJMax makes u feel prettier." -Youve put the entire make up pallet on and still the grease cuts through -"Like just pretty enough to have sober sex with, and just regrettable enough to get the fuck out and delete my number from your phone while you’re sleeping. -Youre the post-coital Mason-Dixon Line, the post nut clarity rubicon. -Real life Maureen Ponderosa from Its Always Sunny." -"Even compared to that piece of paper, you're not the pretty one." -“Kick me while I’m DTF” -"You look like a pharmaceutical trial for a weight loss medication; the top half got the actual drug, and your bottom half got the placebo and a gift card to KFC." -You look really easy to break up with -When you buy Jennifer Lopez on Temu -"You look sturdy, like you’ve been picking up extra shifts bartending and are always the one who has to bring cases of Natty Ice up from the basement. You keep telling people it’s only temporary and you’ll be going back to finish your degree, but it’s been 6 years and you struggled with just a single semester at community college. So you work as much as possible and then tell people you just don’t have the time for school while the light in your eyes slowly fades and you can’t even remember what it was like to have dreams." -Your eyes are more spread out than your legs -"""Alright, let's dive in deep here. That skirt is so short, it looks like it’s having an identity crisis—are you sure it's not just misplaced underwear? And the top, is it supposed to be a shirt or a bandage? It’s doing a fantastic job of looking like neither. The boots? They’re giving serious ‘wannabe warrior’ vibes, but the rest of your outfit says ‘confused clubber.’ And the tattoo? It’s as unique as a barcode at Walmart. I see you're holding a 'Game of Thrones' book. Good choice! But if you're hoping to look like a character from the series, you might want to aim for someone other than Samwell Tarly. At least you’re holding a book, which is a good prop to make you seem smarter than your fashion choices suggest!""" -I suggest you never stand near the hot chick in the white dress again -"You have the most genuine smile, but it's complemented with a self sabotaging personality" -I can see why he cheated -You look like you can’t name 10 books -"It's crazy that you are actually good looking, clearly very physically fit but literally nobody noticed because your teeth and skin are the exact same color." -I had sex with this chick when I was in Florida. I believe she is married. -"You look like a great drunk mistake, but a sober walk of shame." -One of the single moms that try to hit on male staff at parent/teacher conferences 😌 -Are your parents related? -Your Eyes telling you to sleep and not talking about with sleeping with others. -"Another “if-only-i-had-fans” girl. - -You could try working as a human billboard though. -Make good use of that forehead." -You had to black out the other faces to make you look less horrible by comparison  -"I'm old, fat with a small package and I wouldn't....." -Great smile! -The only pictures she can post are pictures with ex-boyfriends and ex-friends because she's too psychotic to have a current boyfriend or any current friends. -"Kick me while I'm down, KICK ME WHILE IM DOWN!!!!! -Is that what you tell all your johns." -I would but I wouldn't commit. But let's be real. That doesn't matter to you. -"Oh wait, my bad. The lightning starts once you start walking and those 2 hammocks start rubbing together, right?" -You'd be pretty cute if you didn't look like that at all -"Before walking behind you, do you have to warn people to approach slowly, be respectful, and always keep their hand on you, so you don't get startled and kick the shit out of them with your horse legs?" -The only thing worse than your forehead are your tattoos -Definitely not girlfriend material -"Hey, baby, at least your self esteem can only go up :P" -The 2AM Club Closing Queen -"If I had to pick between you and the guy with the blacked out face, I'd rather smash out the guy and I'm not even gay" -You’ve clearly been gang banged one too many times. -"Nothing to add, but can you add context to that picture with the paperback game of thrones book?" -I’d rather give you a hand -should have posted to MUA for contour fails. Unless You’re forehead was so slippery you missed and landed under your eyes. -Did you just post screenshots? -"England is calling, they want to coloniser your forehead" -"Look like this girl in my dorms freshman year that did not go to the university, I kept asking her why she was there and how she was allowed to stay in the dorms, she would always just say screw you. When my roommate and I moved off campus I brought h r up, turns out she could not speak English well and was a prostitute, she would say screw you as an invitation for sex In exchange to sleeping in your dorm. Seeing you reminds me of her and how glad I am that I never said screw you back." -Down? You should have no trouble getting up with those massive legs! -"She's cute, but let’s be real, her forehead enters the room five minutes before she does. That thing's got more real estate than a New York penthouse. You could screen a drive-in movie on that forehead! - -And those thighs! Girl, you don’t have a thigh gap—you've got a thigh Grand Canyon. I’ve seen less meat on a Thanksgiving turkey. You could crush watermelons with those things. Forget leg day, every day is leg day for you! - -But let's not forget the chest situation—more like a no-show. It’s like your body couldn't decide where to allocate resources and put it all into your forehead and thighs instead. - -But hey, at least you’re balanced—massive forehead, massive thighs. It’s like nature’s way of making sure you don’t tip over. You might want to insure those thighs, though. They’re doing more heavy lifting than a fat guy at a strongman competition." -Trying to be 36 again is not an attractive trait. -I dont know if you're old or getting old. -You're like the participation medal of women -"I bet you never have experienced any guy prematurely ejaculating, but for some reason they all have ED" -No I don’t have only fans. Come up with a more creative roast y’all -Look on the bright side. You have a beautiful eye. -The type of girl you try and convince yourself to stay with but just can’t do it -Definitely a masochist -You look like you exclusively buy your clothes and makeup from the clearance rack. -"Obvious you put out, and probably had a couple of abortions" -Can you conjure storms with those thunder thighs? -Your onlyfans only fan... Is your dad -youre good looking but you could lay out a sharkcoochie board on that forehead -"Fucks on second dates, because she’s classy." -Down on ur knees most likely -Subscribe to her OnlyBanned. -This is exactly how I like them. Thick and almost pretty -Looks like that one painting of Jesus that had to be repainted -I didn’t know they had trophy wives for last place. -Your eyes are about to leave town based on the packed bags… -Your knees have triple chins -You have a low self-esteem and you're craving attention and recognition from others. -"When they say, ""Don't stick your dick in crazy,"" they're talking about you." -You’re the embodiment of “Live Laugh Love” and a trailer park having a baby. -If doggystyle was a person. -You look like you're about to try to sell me essential oils or some other MLM dreck. -You guys failed here. Do better. -whats with the chunk of loose hair tattoo on your forearm? -You just look generic  -“Kick me while I’m down” assuming you were ever up -If “I have to do anal to get a guy” had a face. -You are absolutely the ugly friend -You look like the duck from chicken little -Idk why but you built like a spinning top -There is a special place in hell for people that post screenshots of photos rather than the actual fucking photos. -I'm sure these people wanted to be blacked out bc they don't wanna be seen with you -"Aged rapidly by internal strife, -this girl read one book in her life. - -Long hair, lice care. -She’s a walking chlamydia, please beware." -Your body looks like a stepped on tube of toothpaste in that dress. Please wear a sleeping bag in future. -"You look like your dating profiles say things like ""must be 6'6"""" and ""if you don't make enough to buy me a car for the first date, move on.""" -"The military is calling, I think they want to use your forehead as a landing strip" -When is the military going to start to practice landing helicopters on your forehead? -The only thing higher than your hairline is your unpaid credit card balance -Never thought I’d see someone I know on here lmao -"Can't -Won't" -nope ur hot -"That outfit in the 4th photo is a no, for everyone, as in you should not be wearing that outfit. I don't care if you were at a dragon dork convention. Shame has been brought upon you and your family. Run away.....and never come back." -"If that last picture was a real estate ad, it would say: ‘fixer-upper with big back yard’.." -First two pictures I thought you need to smile more... Then I changed my mind -You look like you post your only fans at the bottom of all your social media accounts -Glad to see you overcame Jaundice by the end of the picture roll -I might lose my shoe -Who ordered Ariana Grande from Temu? -I would but I don't want to get my feet dirty. -You're friends and you are holding up the only book you all masturbate too ....together. -"hey, my dog is gay >:O" -This trend needs to stop. Humans are boring af. How shit is your life to call this entertainment? Another bimbo needs attention. -For only $9.99/month I’ll show you my feet. -Lemme see the ass -No doubt you can headbutt a door down -My local library has a Washed-Up Skank Reading Hour too! -That's cute you took a picture to commemorate the first time you held a book -Can’t tell if you’re 15 or 50 -You’re down… on your knees… it’s how you earn a living of course -Nothing to be embarrassed by here - very provocative! -I'm a straight female and I think you're super hot. -Typical cat fish series of photos until you see those legs 🤮 -This hat hides my egghead. -"I can't believe this shit...I think ur that ugly cutie I liked in highschool, but didn't talk too..." -You look like you go down way too much for that -One of your fake nails definitely ended up in someone's food by mistake -Puts best tinder highlights on reddit. no dms -You were doing good til I saw the GOT book. -Your face is so skinny. What happened below it? Tragic. -Why are you down? -Have you considered a whiskey drink? -"Would not bang, even when I'm desperate." -When people say they're looking for long term relationships they don't mean with you. You're an exercise bike they use to get ready for their real so -Looks like you put out only anal on the first date then he sneaks out before you wake up -"You look like you spend 25 minutes on the squat rack at the gym filming yourself doing calf exercises. Come on lady hurry up, people need to do quads!" -You probably legit cry when pumpkin spice latte's leave the menu -"You can smile, sweetie. We already know you have too much gum to tooth ratio." -Who's more disappointed? Me because ASoIF still isn't finished or every man whose eyes started on those legs and worked their way up to the mosquito bite tits and ended up at that five-head? -"Hey, where the lightning, cuz dem sum THUNDER THIGHS!!!!! GOOD LORD!!!!" -Aren’t you worried that your pimp will find you on here? -When did OnlyFans add pizza delivery to their services? -My guess is you are usually down on your knees. -1+1 = 2 -why'd you have to black out all the good faces? -Just wanted to point out I see you're with Jeff Fischer in the third pic. -You already kicked yourself down by posting on the Internet . lol -"Hey, whose your pimp? I'll give you twice the amount of meth he gives you a week. -I'm sorry, this OP just has Sooooo many roads to go down." -Great teeth. You’re a flosser! -"Kick you?! Nah, you wouldn't feel a thing with all that flab." -I didn’t think so -I can’t believe any man has been excited with you going down -this looks like one of those faces of meth add where the person just gets uglier and more run down in each picture. -"No one would subscribe to your OF because anyone who wants your pictures already has them, and nobody else wants them." -You have your mom’s hips. She’s a rhino -">Kick me while I’m down folks! - -Yeah, your face does look like you have an extra chromosome or two..." -You want us to spit on you too? -Man those matching hats were cute smh -"Wait, were you on the last season of desperate mid-wives?" -"If, “I’m single and a crazy cat lady” was a profile picture" -Your receding hairline is almost as shitty as your tattoo. -Your step father needs to get off of you first -The girl in blackface is still hotter -She looks like she aged 20 years between the last pic and the 2nd to last. -The kind of girl you keep face down regardless 🤢 -You're the girl that only looks hot because her friend group is uglier -To be honest... I don't think you're worth it. -Your cheeks look 30 years older than you -Looks like someone already has. -"Nothing bad to say. I think you are pretty. We could be depressed together, eat popcorn and swap back rubs lol." -Can I be your revenge cheat? -Kick you? I wouldn’t touch your ass with a 10 ft pole -Can't believe you'd disrespect GOT by using a paperback -"Damn, your not down your pinned down by your 45 year old step dad at a stripclub and even worse you have no one dollar bills because step dad used them as a condom " -Can I have contact info on the girl on your right in picture 4? -"Lemme -Get all 3 of yall shawties instagrams 😭" -"Not pretty enough for OF, is it Avon?" -How many pics do you need to post? We already know you’re desperate for attention just by looking at you. -Id smash but that's not saying much. 😂 -How do you know you’re down when that’s how you’ve always been? -I think you actually look quite handsome! -I didn’t know they had nerdy whores -Her underwear definitely has skids marks -Crack many walnuts? -"Warehouse with a sketchy looking dude, check -Selfie in a rental car, check -Holding a fantasy book in the atlas section of the library to make your OF look relatable, Priceless" -"You are not down, you have been just downloaded (trafficked) from black market." -When was you ever up? -Your forehead is bigger than your chest. God has kicked you enough already. -My tongue is hard -And people say Centaurs are not real -Only a GoT fan because of the incest -Name 10 books!? -The only thing that'll kick you when you're down is the baby once the baby daddy decides to leave -Five head and more cushion for the pushin…. I’d still hit it. Just sayin -Not having everything you want isn’t being “down”. -Why is there a pool table in your living room? -You look like gal gadots imbred twin sister -I can see why you take pictures from above now. -You look like you wipe your arse three times with the same unfolded piece of toilet paper -Looked good until i kept swiping. You should learn to smile without teeth showing. -You have the arms and legs of the stay puft man. -comment -Belle of the Palsy -"Go buy some face cream, an eyebrow pencil, and some Proactiv. - -Get home. Take the items out of the bag, set them aside, and put the bag over your face. - -Problem solved." -"You might be cross-eyed but at least your titties are pointing in the same direction, south." -"Eyebrows gone to heaven, tiddies gone to hell" -You are my nomination for two SAG awards -You look like Skylar if she’d hit Walt’s stash hard. -If Sarah Jessica Parker was cast as an orc in lord of the rings -If morning breath was a person……. -Your face makes my dick stop working -I wish my brain made my eyes stop working before I stumbled across your pics -"Why are you asking for a roast? You’re already halfway to being a ghost, with those invisible eyebrows and hair fading like a forgotten Instagram filter." -This is what happens when you mix in potato DNA -"I cant mock you, that would be going for low hanging fruit." -Looks like your tits and eyes argue over who’s more lazy -Well now I know which porn category i WON'T be looking at tonight -You'd make pro life people change their minds.  -You could have two guys titty fucking you and theyd never meet. -Something tells me you believe in the power of crystals and astrology. -You look like a draft that Picasso threw out. -"You don’t need us to tear you up, you have a mirror for that" -You look like the type of lady that would date me. -Your nose is so big it pulled your eyes in from the gravity -You look like what would happen if Barbara Streisand and Lois Griffin got put through a meat grinder. -"I feel I've been visually assaulted - PLEASE, buy a bra." -You look like you have end stage fibromyalgia -If an axolotl wished to become human -Plane spotting and train spotting at the same time. -You look like skyler white in a midlife crisis -There's no way that face was ever working. -"This is why I always specify ""west of the Urals only"" on mail order bride sites." -You're so lucky that you don't have to put up with men hitting on you all the time. -Is it just just me noticing her eyes always seem to be focusing onto the tip of your nose -Hope your morals are lower than ya tits! -"One eyes going in the store, the others coming out with the groceries" -I wasn't able to swipe past the 3rd pic. -You look like some cottoncandy in a humid environment -You look like you met your husband on discord and he still left you. -Well congrats on your transition I guess. -Gypsy Nose Blanchard -Boyfriend left her because she was seeing someone else. -The good news is that guys aint gonna be looking at the face -"You look like your pronouns are “Fee, Fi, Fo, and Fum”" -Please tell us you’re spayed or neutered -If only a bra would fix your saggy face. -"Oh a serious note, a dermatologist’s laser thing will remove the rosacea in one session. You don’t have to live with it anymore." -"I’d say you remind me of a Basset Hound, but that’d be offensive to all canines." -You look like the Skyrim npc that no player has ever tried marrying -Keep your glasses on next time you pluck your eyebrows. -You look like a Walmart in Ohio made a wish and came to life. -How you treated Cinderella was not cool. -You look like you let many people milk you -A face that makes meth do meth. -Why are you having a stroke in all 8 pictures -"Thou dost resemble a 14th-century painting of a peasant stricken with the Black Plague, for medical purposes." -Conservative dads in red states DEFINITELY block the women's restroom door when you walk up. -You look like a step mom who forces the kids to watch the View -The Joker 3 coming soon -"''63M'' thar, fixed it for ya" -36 what? Decades? -"Don't lie about your age, you look more like mod 40's" -That color looks terrible on you. What is is called? Oh yeah- SKIN -"If you let your tits drop more, in a few years they might become your balls." -You have natgeo tiddies -"This is the shit you run into at ""Swingers"" hotel takeovers." -How do you look like a giant toddler *and* a grandma at the same time? -Invest in suspenders. Those tits look like a trip hazard -"You look like the Play-Doh people my two year old makes. Every one comes out different and each one worse than the one before, all focusing on different areas of the body but you still have to ask, “what’s that supposed to be?”…. “Oh I see it! Great job, it looks .. so good.”" -"You look like what a Genie would grant if someone wished for a Blue Eyed Readhead with big tits, if there was a catch." -"It looks like your head was smashed in a vise. Your head is so narrow, your shadow looks like a stick figure" -"Mother nature really said ""Lets hit this one with every bad physical feature we can""." -"Quit writing the password for your phone on the bridge of your nose…you’re giving it away. - -Gross tits. Cheers!" -You look like a Jacko-Lantern that some put in the microwave. -Is 36F supposed to be a code for something? Because thats clearly not your Age or Gender -"There's this new thing called breast reduction, your back and we will thank you." -A stray splash of mayo could give you 2nd degree burns 😆 -It looks like all your features don’t get along -"You don't fool me, Barbara Streisand! What are you selling this time?" -36? Ain't no way. -I usually love to say I fucked that girl at the bar but i think id keep you secret so nobody roast me. Which makes me think your a lot of guys secret fuck. -"One eyes going to the shops, the others coming back with the change." -It's Mrs Tishell from Doc Martin. -Has your skin ever seen the light of day? I’ve seen cave lizards with more pigment. -Your face makes my brain stop working - in a not good way -You look like Barbara Streisand in the timeline where instead of singing she's cross eyed. -Last pick has the jokers smile…. -You look out of this world literally 👽👽🛸 -Your face and your chest are competing to see which can sag the most. -👁️👃👁️ -Your face makes me wish my brain stopped working. -how is it possible your face has cellulite? -36F? Or you mean 36M? must be a typo I guess.. -"Lol I like how your bio says you don’t do OF. Yeah, no shit." -If Squidward had accidentally fertilized one of Arielle’s eggs. -When that bra comes off that's when shit gets real. Real disgusting. -You have the only pair of big tits in the entire world that I don’t want to see -"Darling don’t dye your hair anymore. Let the dark ash blonde to grow out. It’ll complement your stunning blue eyes much better than that garbage you’re putting on your head to try to camouflage the acne and the the overplucked eyebrows. - -Then make an appointment for a dermatologist to clear up your skin. - -Finally, go to Sephora about a dozen times and have a different person show you how to apply eyebrow products each time. Don’t buy anything. Come back here and post the various eyebrow looks and let well-meaning internet strangers point out your best look. Then go and have the person who recommended them help you practice with those products and buy them. - -This will take you from a 2 to a 5. - -To get to a 7 come back here and get more help. That’s probably the best you’ll do. Most of us can’t get past that without plastic surgery, a personal stylist, and church on Sundays." -You look like Bette Miller's illegitimate daughter from Temu -"You have a face that only a blind person can l….. - - -Nope." -Your face made my brain stop working -"Are you taking a shit in the second pic? If so, I bet that shit looks better than you!" -Im outta touch...i didnt even know Bette Midler dated Carrottop! -"Mortgage eyes. One's fixed, whilst the other is variable." -You would be perfect at a swingers party most guys would BLEEP 🤬almost any girl you’d fit right in -Pippy Longtitties -Titties longer than the wait times at the DMV... -Sorry I can't roast redheads your lives are already bad enough. -You're cute AF..THE way you are.. -Why the long tiddys? -Bra size 38 extra long. -"Just because you have a yeast infection doesnt mean that if you stick sour mentos up your cooter in the shower, that it'll make a good sourdough starter. Know damn well you're trying though." -Holy water can’t save that face. -Your face is so ugly your eyes look like they hate each other . -"We are not going to roast you today, sir." -You have a face that would make onions cry -Looks like your right eye is trying to invade your left eye. -"Wow, some of you guys really came out swinging , just like her low hanging tits do when she walks across the room." -Big ol tiddays 🤤🤤🤤 -She needs a plastic bag. -"Honestly, I would feel bad for roasting you. You’ve already been dealt a prettt bad hand. Good luck." -"Last time I saw saddlebags like that, was on a horse" -You look like a dollar store version of Barbra Streisand. -Some lucky guy gets to eat her pussy and suck on her tits at the same time. -Username checks out -There's more oil on your face than in p diddys bathroom. -"35. Damn, you got some crazy ass city miles on you. You look more like 49." -"Really nailed the ""I'm white but my kids aren't."" look." -You look like Skyler White after consuming Walt's product. -"At least you have breasts, a guy who looked like that couldn't even wait at the bar long enough to hook up.." -Damn your face made my brain stop working. You look like a practice version of a garage sale Bette Midler. -“But her personality is great” -"Your face is always working, as a global boner destroyer." -Resting Itch Face -Sabrina the middle-aged bitch -Skyler Offwhite -Even the chicken on your phone's cover is thinner than those bags you got hanging lol -Did your brain also erase your eyebrows? -"Do your tits hang low, do they wobble to the flo." -Even your tits are trying to get away from your face... -"And this my friends is the result of generational inbreeding. Think twice the next time your second cousin comes around, I'm looking at you Tennessee." -What in the methlab happened to pic 3? -Why do people put them self thru this or is it some random person stealing there images and have people on Reddit roast them ? -Eyebrows taking a vacation with paid holidays -"What happened? Get your nipple pierced, catch your toe in it, trip and break your nose?" -"You got beforehead, forehead, and afterhead -( I didn’t come up with this I just wanted to use this insult)" -At least you got nice cans. -You look like that fish that looks like a person -"36T. Sometimes my brain makes my face stop working. tear me up! - -I fixed it for you" -"Trust me, we only needed 1 photo." -That face makes my everything stop working -"Your tits aren't even the lowest hanging fruit to roast here, and they are practically dragging on the floor." -That face makes my everything stop working -Do you want to know how I got these scars? -Why the long tits? I mean face… -Which eye do I look at? -Even your eyes are trying to look away from those long tits -Is this what the Joker looks like without the makeup. -How many paper bags do you own? -"Buy a bra with a wire and more support -(my mom mentioned that you need to buy different bras as you age, because you start to sag?)" -This is what I picture when someone mentions a two dollar hooker. -One photo was more than enough. -Your face just says what I'm thinking at all times in public. No roasting from me lol. -damn them titties gave up on you already (as the nipples reach for the clothes line belt you have on) -The teen pregnancy really shows. -When jewish siblings bang -You have a beautifull ass crack ! But you should not show it! -The pictures your doctor gives you when your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. -Schrodinger's eyebrows -If that eye were any lazier it’d be collecting welfare checks. -Please stop I don’t wanna see your face anymore. I’m leaving this subreddit because of you. -I bet your brain does a hard reset when I push the button on your forehead -"It’s like your brain called in sick, and your face decided to take a day off too - -I see your brain stopped working at 36 and your hairstyle stopped in middle school - -I haven’t seen this much regret since I saw your haircut - -You’re the reason they say mirrors have nightmares too - -Your face looks like it’s buffering… please hold for the rest of your expression - -I’m trying to figure out what’s more lost, your eyebrows or your self-esteem - -That hair color is what happens when your midlife crisis and a bottle of Kool-Aid collide" -Atleast some part of the brain realises the reality -Your face never started working. And it already looks like nature has torn you up. -That's another way of saying I don't have a brain -"Are you sure it's not the other way around and your face isn't making your brain stop? I mean, your face certainly stopping my brain from working. Hard to think clearly when you are nauseated." -Finally glad to see what squidwards mother looks like -Didn’t know hocus pocus 3 was coming out. -That’s called a stroke -"Does your brain sometimes make your eyebrows disappear? - -Asking for a friend" -I utterly have no real words for this.. -Thanks for raising my self-esteem -It looks like Bart Simpson and Krusty the Clown had a baby together -Your nose enters a room before you do -63F. -It’s a reason for why plastic surgery is so popular. You fit all the criteria for the procedure -Do you have to get yourself drunk to masturbate? -I can't stop staring at your nose either -"Hey, I think you meant 63F..." -If the Joker transitioned and left his life of crime behind… -Example of why not to do meth METH -i really feel for your kids when you ask them to look them in your eyes when you're talking -Uff. Your face makes my brain stop working. -Gypsy rose skin cancer -"I know this is a roast sub, but damn you guys are a little harsh. - -I would jerk off on your face if my friends weren't gonna find out." -"Sorry for your troubles, love." -Your face made my brain stop working -"Your face is already pretty tore up, not even all of reddit could do any worse" -I bet sometimes your face stops clocks from working -Elastagirl is that you? I think the elastic on your tits wore out -Can I have some milk please? -"I always wondered what the girls in Picasso's paintings looked like. - -Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even if that eye is on the wrong side. - -I have a sudden craving for halibut." -Hey you’re doing fine ! I’m a stroke survivor totally get the brain thing! -Pronouns be 🤢/🤮 -"When a guy nuts on your face do you not wash it after? Or do you let the ""protein"" do its work?" -comment -"The fact you managed to get married, divorced and get brain cancer before you hit puberty is actually impressive." -You’ve got this chemosabe -"Look at the bright side, everybody else is going to die as well" -My condolences to your cancer. It’s pretty lonely in there -"""...Wife left me ..."" So you've had some blessings in this. She clearly was a cancer too. You and life will expel the other cancer too. - - -Oh, and you look like a duck" -Thank you. I opened this up expecting to see everyone tearing me apart and you've all actually shown more compassion than most of my so called family. It means a lot. -At least you’ve not got a lot of body hair to lose! -Wow you’re pretty unlucky. Only one brain cell and it managed to get cancer. -"On the bright side, that brain tumor can't get very big." -Roast in peace -Ex wife was the cancer -I had leukemia. My wife left me because of it. I ain't gonna roast you. You've had enough. Just focus on yourself. Hope you win this fight. -"Send your wife here,we’ll roast her" -"Well, depending on which chunk of brain they have to remove you might not even remember you had a wife or job, so there’s that." -You had 99 problems but now you've got tumor -"Jesus bro, you've had enough this week by the sound of it 😞" -I think you’ve been pounded enough by life’s massive dick. Cancer sucks. -"I don’t care if this is breaking the rules… - -Dude, you’re going through hell…. But keep going. Jobs and partners can be replaced. You are what’s important right now. - -If you ever need to chat, message me and I’ll give you my contact details - -Stay strong brother" -I hope the cancer realises how shit you are and leaves you as well -"So I'm not here for any reason other than to collect the group that's going out to jump buddies ex-wife. - -My mom said she can drive if someone else's mom can pick us up." -"Cancer at your age is very rare, but if it makes you feel better, lesbian relationships have the highest rate of divorce... So you're not as unlucky as you think." -"Nope. I'm just gonna wish you well, you unlucky son of a bitch." -"Damn not just that but you lost all your clothes in the divorce too, that's crazy bro" -"Fuck bro. Yeh I can't roast you knowing all that. - -I seriously hope you recover, build yourself back up, get a far better wife and tell your current one what sort of person she really is. - -Fight hard man." -At least you'll get to meet John Cena -I have a feeling the chemo will improve your looks. -"She’s so stupid, she must have thought it’s contagious like covid." -"I am not going to roast you buddy, just not gonna happen - -Stay strongs, big hugs, keep fighting and do not give up! - -Wishing you the very best and I hope for another roastme from you in a year or two" -"I can't roast you! - - -You're incredibly brave for doing this in the middle of such a shit storm. - - -And you know what it tells me? You're going to freaking beat it! You got this!!" -"soon you’ll remember this as the week when your job, wife and cancer all left you. good luck with the surgery OP." -Can’t roast you dude would rather give you a fucking hug -"One more message before I hop off for the night, to all of you who have sent kind words and comfort- thank you, it truly means a lot. To those who kept up with the roast, ive seen some pretty good ones in there so thank you for the laughs. - -Ive got no clue if its allowed in this sub but im gonna shout out R/Assistance and all the nice people who have helped me and others in less fortunate situations this holiday season, it means the world to me that there is still people out there that care enough to help others like me. Id suggest you go check them out too, no need to donate but a few kind words or some advice can make a person's day. Anyway, thank you all for the laughs and the support. You've made my day." -"Can't do it sorry, all the best to you bro. Hope your luck turns around soon!" -"Bro looks like one of Peter pan's lost boys! - -Seriously tho bro I wish you well ❤️" -"Don't worry about your wife leaving you, she was clearly into little boys. As far as getting fired, who wants to work a 9 - 5 when you're about to die anyway? The only thing actually bad is the brain cancer, but soon enough you won't remember any of it." -Sickness and in health? -I refuse to roast you. I praise you. Fuck cancer fuck that job. And most of fuck that asshole you married. She sounds like she did you a favor. Stay strong young man. -"Is your wife single now? Warning to All single men out there watch out of this woman, she is harmful to your health and may cause cancer. May cause side effects of depression and constipation." -"Man, talk about an overachiever! What do you have planned for next week? FUCK cancer." -"Plot twist: The brain cancer was causing hallucinations of having a wife. - -She was never real OP and eventually you'll get better and forget all about her and the cancer. I know this has to be true because the chances of anyone ever wanting to fuck you are far slimmer than your odds of beating it." -"Sorry I can't,your wife needs roasting -I hope you recover soon" -Life already roasted you OP. Time for a toast instead 🥂 -"Jesus. I hope, for your sake, you’re not also an American." -Im here to roast not to pay a toll to the highway to hell. -"Look at the bright side... if your wife left you, she won't get all of your stuff when the cancer inevitably takes you. - -Seriously though, best of luck in the fight. Come back when you're healthy and we'll roast you properly." -"Enjoy Life, play some Nintendo games, get inspired by Mario's brother." -I bet your doctors have a hard time figuring out which is the tumor and which is your brain -at least you’ll save on shampoo bud -"Chin up! You got this! Beat cancer and then, like your wife, it’ll go fuck someone else. Once you are well enough you’ll be able to get back on your bike and find a better paper route than the one you were fired from!" -"Do not shed a tear for the ex!!! Obviously, she is not mature enough to handle life's struggles!!!! Better to know now!!! The rest, take it one day at a time!! You deserve the best!! - -I apologize for not roasting you, but you deserve many hugs and much love right now and in the future!!!! The best of luck to you!!!!" -"Let's get your wife back for dumping you when you need her the most. Give me her phone number. I will seduce her, make her fall in love with me. I will stretch out her uterus so that it's just a floppy pile of roast beef. I will sleep with her best friend, and steal from her purse. And finally, when she's a crushed and broken woman, I will tell her I did it for the brain cancer dude" -"Damn, I think this man has suffered enough" -"Post your ex-boss’ info, I’d like to “visit” him and “talk” about your dismissal, hang in there" -"No thanks. - -Stay strong, brother" -That's what you get for jerking off too much. -your wife gave you cancer with her diseased vagina then bounced -"I hope this brings you some laughs but I don't feel like roasting right now. - -I'm just wishing you the best, and hope your treatment goes well. - -I've worked for various cancer research institutes and there have been a lot of miracle treatments developed in recent years. Keep your head up." -"I didn’t come here to roast, I just think it’s downright fucking terrible to leave someone who has cancer. And I’m so sorry she did." -"I'm not gonna roast you. - -Beat the crap out of cancer and THEN come back here so we can roast you. - -My DMs are open if you need someone to talk to. -You've got this man! 🤟" -"I'm sorry bro, I can't roast you. I just hope you pull through man. - -Now which motherfucker is cutting onions?" -"You're awesome for posting this of yourself, and I hope you make it through everything." -Are you for real? I’m sorry man -At least you got a nice head of hair….wait…sorry -"Buy a lottery ticket. The odds of all of this happening to someone by age 24 are very low, much less in the same week. - -Don’t let yourself go! Keep parting your *hair* like Sean from Boy Meets World." -I'm sitting in the NIH awaiting procedure for my wife's cancer. Please let me say FUCK cancer. And maybe your wife's timing. Be strong sir. -"Holy fuck. - -When it rains it fucking pours. - -My heart out to you dude." -Surprised the cancer didn’t leave you. -"Look on the bright side, at least you got nothing to live for anyway. - - - - - - - - -Ps: Get well soon" -"you're clearly 14, look like you voicecrack everyday (hang n there)" -You are basically Jesse but with the backstory of Walter white -Have you thought about an autobiographical career in country music? -"You deserve a toast, not a roast. - -If you are still standing after all that, -you are one hell of a strong man." -"It took me until my thirties to get married and get cancer, you're ahead of the curve! Good luck dude, your only job now is to take care of yourself." -Save some bad luck for the rest of us! -"God damn the took you out the bubble and gave you braincancer, what happened bubbleboy?" -You’ll read my best roast only if you manage to survive. So keep going and look forward for my roast. 🍻 -Not doing it. You deserve better than that skank anyways. Hope you pull through big dawg. You got this. -"You will recover and win in the end, best of luck brother!" -"How did you change your username on Reddit? Your account was created “LeCancerDude” 60 days ago, but you only got diagnosed this week, meaning to say you went back to change your username after your diagnosis?" -"Seems to me like your wife was looking for something more long term. - -Stay strong tho 💪🏼" -I ain't doin it bud -til death do us part... -I’m so sorry bud. -Man had a job and a wife at 24.. he's doing better than most . Respect that . Sorry about the brain cancer tho. Hope you get well ❤️ -Oh I'm on r/RoastMe. I was wondering why everyone was being so mean to OP -She wasn't smart enough for you. If she was: she woulda kept a sancho and got the most expensive life insurance she could possibly get. -Married before puberty.. musta been a pitty marriage.. fitting -"God bless you son 🙏 I pray for miraculous healing in the name of God Almighty, ... In Jesus name I pray you end his suffering,, heal him and make him whole again .. take away his mental and physical pain ... Heart break happens ,, I pray that you find the strength to love yourself and know it's not your fault. You are worthy of love... Love yourself and know that if all else fails God loves you too!" -"Shit. I’m sorry to hear it. It too have an unpleasant life (torture) due to health issues. I hope that it’s treatable. I’m sorry, but I can’t roast you. I respect you and I don’t pity you. Best wishes." -Why all the patches all over you? They keep cutting you open to try and find your brain? -"I'm sorry all of that happened to you, but don't fret, you won't have to worry about Anything else much longer............" -"Everyone left you , hope your cancer leaves you too" -u should fall in love with the cancer. Maybe it will leave too. -"Whoa man, that’s a lot in one week. As a fellow brain tumor haver, I bid you all the best in your journey." -"Did your wife leave you cause you lost your job, because you got diagnosed or because you look like the ghost of a malnourished Victorian child?" -Crazy your ex-wife got that unlucky all before you hit 25. -I really hope you recover. You haven’t been roasted to a crisp enough yet. -I bet the brain cancer is the reason you made this post -"Honestly, I’d just shave the hair off and blame it on the chemo at this point. (You’re a warrior bro stay strong 💪)" -"Eh nah, hope it works out for you man." -Don’t worry it will be all over soon. -man thats a bad week as far as things go was it all due to ur cancer ? -I can't. Life already roasted you too much already -Yet your hairline is the worst thing that happened to you -No! I rather give you a hug. -I think life has roasted you enough my friend! -naw I hope you make it through this and find a beautiful wife -"I won't roast you. Brain cancer took my brother and the last thing you need is negativity, you need support not insults." -I’m sorry man! I hope everything changes for the better for you -Brain cancer and still manage to injure your hand jerking off... beat them both! -"It'll be okay, for the rest of us" -Fuck cancer....... especially since no one wants to fuck you. -It'll all be over soon -Wishing you all the very best mate. -"When you’re going through hell, keep going. - -No roast, you got this." -"Be strong, wish u the best ….i think life roasted u enough" -You look like you call for the nurses alot -Cancer is running through you like a train of guys are running through your wife. -"On the bright side, you’ll be dead soon." -Stay strong brother! -"Huh, sound like it’s time to drink and screw your way into the next life" -"Nah man, keep fighting... Let her be for the streets you deserve better than that. Keep that head up high. - -Wish you all the best" -If you got fired for missing time due to brain cancer lawyer up and make them pay! -"Look on the bright side, the brain cancer will help you forget that your wife left you for being being a failure at living.. - -Seriously hope for a recovery, you are a trooper for getting on here and doing this, you got this brother don’t stop fighting!" -End your suffering? Dude you’ll beat me to it -Get well soon and kick cancer and her ass. Reason to live -That's chemotional -at least you got something in your head -At least there will be no loose ends to tie up. -"Fuck talk about a draw. You lost on the cancer diagnosis and won on the ole bitch leaving. no need to roast, we will do that after your healthy. Now get on tinder and find a meat sling for the recovery" -Not gonna roast you. -"keep on going bro, i hope you recover soon. stay strong. just focus on yourself. if your wife left you because of your cancer, she wasnt the one. -get well soon my guy, drop a dm whenever u want to talk" -"At least you got your, never mind…." -"Shame you weren’t a few years younger, might’ve gotten a free trip to Disneyland" -"Don't worry, it may hurt now, but be sure it won't last for very long." - I thought this was r/Roastme not b/Beat cancer?Also prayers but you ugly ASF. -"Hey, if nothing else, the adhesive from those electrode stickers will always be with you" -"You look like you haven’t taken a solid shit in weeks. - -Fuck work, one less thing to worry about. - -Fuck your ex. One less thing to worry you. - -You will find out who your real friends and family are when you come out of this happy and healthy at the end. Hang in there." -I thought you had to have brains to get brain cancer -"Don't worry, I'm sure the cancer will leave you too." -I hope the cancer leaves you as fast as your wife did. -Things can only get better! -Not going to roast you... fuck that bitch! -"I can’t get past how bad his hair styles are. It’s like he’s got brain cancer or something. - -(Good luck dude, I have a good feeling in my gut about you)" -"Your wife left you before you left her, smart." -"I can’t really find the guts to roast you, man. Hang in there and hope you beat this." -"Nah bro, I can't do you like that. I'll toast you instead. Your fucked, but I love you ❤️" -I'm pretty sure God will be the one ending your suffering. -Keep your chin up... Atleast it didn't happen all on the same day -":( I ain't roasting you dude, you look very sad. I hit a pretty bad rock bottom last year, it only goes up from here" -We don't need to roast you. The chemo will do it for us. -"You look like a miserable C\*nt, all the best, good luck!" -">""end my suffering."" - -Bud the cancers gonna beat us to it" -Can’t roast this. I’m sorry you’re going thru all this. Why did your wife leave? -"You look like a cancer survivor! - -Keep your chin up, keep your thoughts positive and when you get better I'll roast the shit out of you motherfucker!!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥" -"You had a wife?!?! Did she live in Canada? - - -Oh - and you're going to kick the shit out of this cancer." -What does his cancer and his wife have in common? They are both all in his head…. -"As someone who has picked ""this is the day"" a few times a week for the last 3 months. - -Fight. You've got this. Life is worth living. ❤️" -"You look like my english teacher -He was gay" -Stop feeling sorry for yourself! -"Look at it this way, If you make it through this. There's absolutely nothing life can throw at you afterwards that you won't be able to handle." -No. You’ve been through enough. -"Listen my guy, you've been roasted three times by life. I don't know if I can offer up anything on your triple roasted shit. But hey - at least you have your hair ... for now." -"Unfortunately, life already roasted you, I got nothing." -Such a noob neither an alcoholic or gambler -But when you make a comeback .. it's over for them . Godbless you . -OK BUT ARE YOU OK -"Damn homie….i cant do it. - -Really hope things start looking up. Like sincerely I do" -Got fired and the wife left? Sounds to me like a chance to finally do some living -Alternate Reality Tom Brady. -"Bruh, that’s 3x on ya already. You’re just a young fella, too. Can’t do it. Much fuckin love, bud." -"Hahaha, you’re not old enough to get this joke, but I’m doing in in the voice of Steve Case: - -“Welcome! You’ve got brain cancer!”" -I couldn’t imagine leaving someone while they’re deathly ill. 🤧 -"Don't go to any casinos, you are very unlucky and your money will leave you, just like your wife" -Username being LeCancerDude is fucking insane bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭 -"Instead of roasting you imma roast your cancer and shit job and wife, this was an awakening, you're getting rid of shit from your life, if your work and wife didn't stand by you when you're sick then they're shit and good riddence to both and the cancer they all in the same bucket. so here's the plan: - -1- get better. -2- get a better partner and a job. -3- get back here to us so we roast you for real after you get better. - -I can tell you got this and you're gonna ace it." -Damn. She even got the shirt off your back. -You beat cancer once (your wife) and you’ll beat it again! -Bad shit comes in 4s just wait till next week also no need to roast u the chemo will. Jokes aside ur young u got a better chance than most to beat it -I’m praying for you. Focus on healing. -Damn. Respect bro - I’ve never seen anyone ruin the rest of their life in a week. -"That's God saying she's not the one, You probably didn't see the signs at first so he gave you brain cancer. You need to move on from her. You'll find better things." -How can I roast you when you’re already cooked. -I guess you could say that’s a big brain move -"Fuck that job for not letting you enjoy your early retirement and in the nicest possible way, I hope your ex wife dies before you do." -Damn son. First a video of Diddy raping you circulating through Hollywood now this 😔 -"Can't do it, man. Just can't do it. Good luck." -God bless you brother in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth ✨✝️❤️ -"Pretend the cancer is your dick and beat it. Just not so hard, or every hour" -I hope yourr a lefty -The only thing worse than a masochist is a masochist who’s never satisfied. -All before you’re out of middle school?. -"cancer will end up leaving you too, from the sounds of it. - -on a serious note, you’re a hell of a good sport and clearly have a fighting spirit. i cant make any comments on your wife, other than im sorry. fuck cancer tho." -"My guy, if you make it through all of this you will be one of the most resilient and strong people on the planet. You're a weakling now, but the potential is great!" -"Fuck your wife. The comeback you’re going to go on, will be the greatest of all time" -We’ll let the chemo do the roasting. Get well soon brotha -Minecraft weddings aren’t real weddings - No I don’t think i will -"Look on the bright side: … - -… - -see more…" -You’ll be roasted well enough in the crematorium soon. No need to add to that -🫂 -"Don't worry, you're so dislikable even the cancer will leave you soon too. - -Seriously though, good luck, and don't give up." -At least you look young enough to star in a Disney series as a teen in highschool. -"Well, joke is on her. You’re about to not have that stupid fairy haircut and ridiculous eyebrows anymore. -Also, you’re an American, so this will clearly bankrupt you. -Dont let the divorce go through until it does. Like….. MASSIVE (shared) debt. In fact, you should probably take a credit card out right about now." -Oh so u got cancer? are u gonna make it ur whole personality now? u/LeCancerDude -I'm sorry that the brain chemotherapy byproduct got rid of your imaginary wife. -"Did your wife know she was married to a child from the make a wish foundation, or was that your wish before you died, to marry a hot older lady?" -You look like the inventor of stage six cancer. -Someone roast this man before he roasts his victims -Write a country song and become a millionaire 🤷‍♂️ -Is it legal to be married when you’re 12? -take out a few CEOs before please! you can win free health care -"That’s a busy week for a 12 year old. - -I hope you’re ok though." -Your country album is gonna be fire -Sounds like nature is taking care of this before my comment will. -By “wife” do you mean your wounded hand? -"As a healthcare worker please listen to this, check out cancer centers if America for treatment. Every hospital claims to have ""the most advanced cancer treatment"" it's bullshit. - -I took care of a patient about 6 years ago that seen a commercial from cancer centers if America ""before many other healthcare systems sued them as they were talking to much of their business"" he called them they flew him there gave him and experimental treatment and he was completely cured. This was for thyroid cancer not brain cancer. But you get the idea. - -What I'm saying is do your research and don't believe any hospital at face value because they just want your money......" -"I know this won't be popular because of the reddit but as someone who had surgery to save my life after an IED fucked my liver and kidney I hope you are ok. - - Fuck cancer and good luck." -Was your wife the tumor? -#Your wife left you? Now you are cancer free buddy. Cheer up -"I’m not going to roast you, chemo will do that instead" -"Villains aren’t born, they have one bad day/week" -Bro is addicted to chemo -Life has roasted you enough as is -"Give the brain cancer a chance. It might grow on you. - -Good luck, homes." -"Divorced with cancer is something you do at 50, not 15" -Looks like this guy found the sticker drawer -"Stay strong, fuck your wife and job, you will recover and find better wife and job so you would make your ex wife and boss jealous." -"Idk but if it makes you feel better , you're handsome🤷🏻‍♀️ you could be going through all this AND be ugly on top of it😬🤣" -I’d end your suffering but your cancer is kinda beating me to the punch. -"Not everyone gets their cancer to divorce them. -Sucks about the diagnosis. -She sounds worse than the cancer, so you are halfway better." -I just can’t. I’m sorry -Good luck brother hope u believe in some kind of Higher Power -"Not here to roast, just want to tell you to stay strong, God bless you bro!" -"You my friend will absolutely beat this cancer, then we (all) can beat your ex wife" -You're a soldier bro 💪 -"The first photo looks like startled Michael Pitt, the second like anaemic Joseph Gordon Levitt; take comfort that your fate could change as easily as the celebrities you resemble under different lighting. - -Hope things improve for you, and fast. 🙏" -I hope you live a long healthy life and fall down the stairs with 80 -"There is no way to roast you. You've gained more life experience and endured more pain in a week than most will endure in a lifetime, yet you're still standing and fighting. You deserve respect and recognition. I wish you all the best dude." -"I went thru this at 23. They told me I had a 20% chance of living, and I survived. I was in thst hospital almost 2 years. I got home and she said, ""they told me u were gonna die...."" i left that night, gave her everything, and when I got my breath back from the shock, started building a life. That was 40 years ago. Today I have the most amazing wife, great job, awesome friends and the two best dogs ever. Youh ang tough. My buddy I met at the hospital when I got there said, ""whatever my future is, I'm kicking ass on the way"". I'm telling you that. I'm here Brother." -That's gotta be a world record -"cant even roast you, your life js went to shit" -I didn’t know guys got married before being old enough to grow facial hair. -I hope you’re left handed! -I don’t wanna be on this sub anymore damn -Hang in there buddy. You’ve gone through more than most and you’ve made it this far. -"Don't focus on the ones which hurt most.. -. -Ohh wait.. You there? Or Am I late to give condolences to you?" -"Hold your horses cowboy, the week is merely halfway done - - -PS: Cheers for keeping your head up through this." -Why is each of your facial features a different age? -That's a lot for a 12yo to go through. Thoughts and prayers 🙏 -I hope it gets better mate -I hope your cancer leaves you too. -"No i can't roast you buddy because I wanna be your friend ( not be creepy) -You need friendship, I know things are horrible but I wanna be your friend too... I know this is a roast me page but come on dude, i mean look at yourself.. You're hurt.. You need a friend and Ima be your friend.. Idc what other people say.." -"Look on the bright side, with chemo you will be able to get rid of that terrible haircut for free!" -"r/13or30 - -r/Swordorsheath" -"Oh man, but you've been ugly for as long as you've been alive so at least that blow should be a little softer." -U got this homie ! Praying for u -comment -27 going on 47. Future HOA president. -You look like you have to get yourself drunk before you masturbate. -Your pronouns are DEEP/DISH -Nice personality -Pizza lover... No shit. We can tell -"You're a very attractive woman... it's a gravitational attraction, but who's really paying attention any ways." -Why does your cleavage line reach all the way up to your throat? -You must be expert now in using the panorama mode on your phone’s camera. -Is that what you say when your holding your plate up to the line cook at golden coral -We're all pretending to be shocked that all your pics are of you...alone. -What grade do you teach? -"100% chance of post deletion within 24 hours, 75% chance of account deletion." -"I've got a message from kermit. He says come home, he misses you." -When you roast a bowling ball it’s always raw in the center -Getting hard carried by tits. Don't even think about gravity -"Does the word ""bovine"" mean anything to you?" -You look like you're 12 months pregnant. -Roast pork is our top seller! -You look like you know your way around a pie eating contest -Damn your feet are doughnut shaped -You look like you get excited about a date night at Applebee’s. -"I bet all of her friends use the statement ""I have the funniest person you have to meet. You guys would get along so well,"" as a way to introduce you to guys." -Username checks out -How many years have you been 27? -No thanks. It looks like you've had enough roast. -You could be that friend I would 100% avoid because of your annoying toxic positivity when I just want to talk about my problems. -"You’re supposed to put your age, not your dress size" -I bet they are filled with ranch dressing -When was the last time you got your gums checked? Looks like you have gingivitis or some other gum disease -27? You let yourself go waaay early. -Showing off big tits when you’re fat is like bragging about having Mondays off when you’re unemployed. -"We could rent out that chest for advertising space - -Maybe those super white teeth too" -Why is it that looking at your pics put the butter on a poptart song from family guy in my head? -If someone ordered Honey boo boo's mom on wish they would get you in 3 weeks -I'd still smash but you gotta promise you won't tell nobody. -My eyes are up here -Tells everyone she’s ‘curvy’ -"Loved you in Shrek 4, Fiona" -You look like you have a protocol for eating snacks in bed to avoid ants. -Odd way to write 47 year old diabetic. -Do you use cholesterol as a seasoning ? -Your tits are your whole personality -When cleavage is your whole personality. -"Vote carefully, you’re going to be aborting a black baby in the near future." -I’m somehow visualizing landing a jumbo jet in the Grand Canyon -The lost tele tubby... them big titties with antennas really scarred the other ones -"Need to see the rest of the postage tattoo, need to make sure it's bulk rate shipping." -Why did u eat her ? -Weird coincidence. It was only yesterday I wondered what ever happened to Honey Boo Boo. -"Drives a car without airbags, not worried about safety." -Did you make that rug with your own fur? -I heard we were about to have a second moon. Guess the rumors were true. -You look like the type that would get really into polyamory but then turn angry and bitter when your bisexual husband gets way more attention than you. -35 hit her early -Those fuckn slobs hanging off of you are going to get burned. Be careful. -You look like the homewrecker who lives next door to every married man -"If we did roast you there would be a fuck ton of tallow to make candles, could light a medieval village for a year." -27 in dog years? -I didn't know my dick could become inverted until now. -"You seem like a very honest woman, judging by your username." -"You don’t need a roast, you need a salad" -"Jesus, I got to the 4th pic and my phone all of a sudden got HEAVY" -Dam. Your 27? -I opened the comments and a weight loss ad came up 💀 -Is your name Emerson? Cause Emerson big titties! -"You're giving off 'loves pizza but cries about not fitting into her jeans' energy. I bet you tell people you're 'curvy' when we all know 'pizza lover' isn't just a username—it's a lifestyle choice. Also, why does your smile look like you’re waiting for someone to compliment your hair but no one ever does? Maybe it’s time to stop looking for validation in the pizza aisle and start looking for a real hobby." -This isn't a roast but it's funny how you maintained the same pose in every pic (the full body ones) -she likes to wear open top blouses to distract you from her crazy ex eyes -God skipped neck day when he made you -Only a few of us can roast you. Too many may cause a grease fire. -If this was a real roast the village would be fed for the winter. -I didn’t know they made yellow chiclets -Username checks out -"*sees stamp tattoo* - -Every man says “Return to Sender”" -"You’re totally my type. - - -Is what I would say during last call after doing a 21 shot salute." -"When Aerosmith wrote Dude (Looks Like A Lady), they wrote it for you" -I see the potential. I call shotgun once she loses weight -Gym Rat -"I came here for the roast, but it looks like you ate all of it!" -One time this bitch was wearing a Malcom X t-shirt and a helicopter landed on her back. -"Put an apple in your mouth, roast you rotisserie" -"If we roasted you for real, we could end world hunger." -I bet your tits do all the heavy lifting for your lack of a personality. -"I would roast you, but I'm out of apples..." -I heard they’re doing a live action muppets movie. Guess who they want you to play? -You’re the final boss when someone is tryna rizz up your good looking friends. They always look like this -Big Bertha. I likes a woman with some meat on her bones. A buxom lass indeed! -Size 27? -I would only titty fuck you with a sword -Excactly how mayonnaise sandwiches did it take? -Bruh she's been in the taco bell sub complaining the food looks smaller. Someone told her she got bigger. -You look like you’re part of the activist movement that claims attractive people aren’t real and healthy bodies are unrealistic -Kim Carbdashian -city miles -"Better pull as many trains as you can, in a couple years only white dudes will fuck you" -Tell me you peaked in high school without telling me you peaked in high school. -No the chip bag didn't get smaller you got bigger -Giant tits front and back… -First time I've ever heard a pig asked to get roasted.... -I’d hit and bust on those títs -Dental expenses can get really expensive… Good thing you're spending all that on food and getting your hair done -Id roast you at 437 degrees for about 2 hours maybe add some pineapple for tenderness -"You look like a mum that would regularly complain to your kids teachers about every little thing, because you got nothing else better to do." -Nice dentures -You look like you have a “special recipe” for Mac ‘n’ cheese. . -"Bitch, the last thing you need is another roast. Try going for a run" -"""Roast me all you'd like"" no shit, especially for your size I'm going to have to use all of the world's lumber" -Roast you? The only thing missing from these pictures is an apple. -You need to smile less. -Smile looks like the 7 year old chiclets in my old jean pocket. -No. You should not start an Onlyfans. -"You know it’s over, right?" -"You know that when your feet (or hands) are fat, the fat has won." -"The good news: G cup bust -The bad news: DD cup stomach" -Face like 50 bedroom like 5. -"You posted yourself in r/Glowups, but had to blur the first picture to make it seem reasonable" -From the way you take picture the most interesting thing about you is your chest -Should have put an apple in your mouth. -Would -Gorgeous -I can smell the pepperoni grease on your breath. -Congratulations 🍼 when are you due ? -Not sure if I should roast you. You look more like you prefer things braised. -"Open a dairy farm with those. - -Babies include grown ass man that call you ""ma ma"", love you don't they. - -BBC ready, type of white women." -I’ll bet that you’ve said that to every minor league hockey team in the region. -I bet the employees of target get the sweats when you walk up to the return counter without a receipt -Your smile is just as contagious as your stds -27 what? Ton? -Why in the 4th picture it look like you got your hair yah mama's hair and yah grandma's hair all on one head -Somewhere a black guy is salivating -"Hey! Tits! And nothing else worth mentioning! - -I know, i know, low-hanging fruit (no pun intended). But, when you give absolutely nothing else to go on, i work with what i have. When you base your entire personality on your tits you can’t be pissy when that’s what you’re judged on. - -Don’t worry - in five years when those sag (even more), you’ll have all the time in the world to find something else to sling your entire identity around. You certainly won’t be bothered with a social life!" -"Drunk me would totally fuck you, but I wouldn't tell my friends. Just my doctor" -"Damn, belly….stop swallowing all the cum, and use some of it to whiten your teeth." -"pizza lover, but also cake, loads of pork, candies, chips, edible in general" -You look like you claim disability for being fat -"If you loose weight, you will still be ugly" -"Omg, these pictures would be so cute if you just weren't in them." -You ever see how iron filings will follow a bar magnet when it’s dragged through a pile of them? I bet that’s what it’s like if you walk through a black neighborhood. -"Tubby Princess looks like she calls short guys ""Short Kings""" -"I’d let you suck me off, but that’s it" -Username checks out -"At first I was gonna grill you for throwing cleavage into all your pictures like every fat girl does to try to bury the lede, then I realized you were just overall shaped like a busted can of biscuits and can't come in any other shape so it can't be helped. Carry on then, Bessie" -I was wondering what happened to my high school practice girl. -27? And the rest! -Will do. You clearly don’t know when to stop. -You keep a slice of pizza in your purse at all times just in case -The face of herpahepasyphilghonoraids -I just know the room smell like dead tuna after you let the whole hood hit it -Your tits say In-N-Out double double but your face says McDonalds dollar menu -"Little less pizza loving , more love for fresh veggies and long walks up and down the east coast" -Her tinder bio “6 months clean now turned Cristian” -Gotta body like a marshmallow. -"27 going on 72 , you look old mam ! Did we offer you senior discount yet ?" -I would but I don’t have an oven big enough -"Her comments to guys always end in …”all you’d like” Like fill my holes….”” Punch me, choke me…”” Use my EBT card…””" -The Girl Scouts and Krispy Kreme fund raiser kids have your phone number. -"The one ‘party gal’ that comes over, smashes tequila and tries to sleep with every ‘youthful’ man with a MILF fetish." -I think you’ve had enough pizza….and clearly lying about your age. -Chichis christ -That’s a lot to roast. -Stubby legs stubby arms stubby teeth at least you’re consistent -You’re actually pretty cute for a morbidly obese chick -"Is your most common phrase ""dosen't that come with gravy?""" -You look like you get a lot of texts from guys at 3am that ask “wyd” -"Nickname might as well be “Lighthouse” -only want to see you at 2am" -27 my ass lmfao -Moo? -You’re the epitome of the last call cum dumpster -How many guys have told you that they really like your eyes? -I think you spelled 47 incorrectly -"You seem like a really nice person, but I can tell why, you have to be, cause your looks are doing no one favors." -OP username checks out -Roast you? Thats one helluva sacrifice to feed your village for a year! -Nothing a 12-pack can’t fix! -When your girdle does more to propagate your lies than you telling us you’re 27… -"Alright, confess. Which one of ya deepfaked Jon Favreaus face onto Rebel Wilson's old body?" -You look like you believe in yourself just as much as you believe in your shirt buttons! -You look like the secret to both your skincare routine and diet is butter. -In the German armed forces we have a game called „Eulenschießen“ (shooting owls) … let me just say there is a private waiting for you somewhere to secure his initiation. -The human equivalent of the response “living the dream”. -"Where’d you come up with that title, is it a refernace to “all you can eat.”" -"I mean, I’d totally smash and not tell my friends about you." -Username checks out. -You go around telling people you have PCOS and take no accountability for your lifestyle -"You do know you don't have to swallow every load you catch at church camp, right? You don't need the protein!" -She won the silver medal at the 2024 Paris ozempic games. -Have you heard of Ozempic? It won’t help your face and the rest of you will still suck. But at least you’ll be able to feel your feet. Even if you can’t see them. -It's tough to say mean things about tits. -The local KFC has a special menu named after you -Your smile lights up a room with a warm yellow glow. -It's a good thing you have those bewbs to distract from that face. -27 but built like two 50 year olds. -How often do you find leftovers that fell into the cleavage canyon? -You’ve eaten too many roasts -Pizza lover cause you know she got them pepperoni nipples. -Just run -Even you find that perfect angle and perfect push up bra to make your personality look good. -Pushing those tiny tits together doesn't distract from the fact that you are fat the way you think it does. -All these fat roasts and all I’m thinking about is why did you paint your toenails alternating colours when you’ll never get to see them. -Torta Blanca you for a good time but a shameful time after the fact -"Can’t roast you any more than those 3-time deep fried pizza’s you love so much, Pizzalover." -True definition of a moped. -social media brain rot and pizza loving is aging you like milk.. definitely going to end life as a lonely smelly fat cat lady that hates men -burger king hands -Black eyes. Like a dolls eyes -Is the fourth photo the one that the local buffet has on their banned wall? -47 looks good on you -I would roast you but I hate the smell of bacon -Username checks out. -Your friends instantly feel better about themselves when around you -"Let me guess, you've been 27 for the past twenty years, right ?" -That’s a rough 27 -You look like the type of girl on dating apps to only include pics of the neck and upwards or have your main photo with attractive friends so you get a better chance of matching with someone -you sure 27? I see 40+ -"Nothing says more than: Oklahoma single mom of 3 overweight kids, two dads, substitute teacher, putting yourself out there, not settling, losing weight plan on Jan 1st, wants to travel more but right now mudding and drinks with the girls (2 other divorcee coworkers in their 40s) will have to do." -I hope i look like you when i turn 58 -What happened to your elbow? Why is it stuck in place like that. -I bet you Facebook message people from highschool to buy into your MLM -Sorry but pig roasts are for summer cookouts -"When you think you have a one night stand with a Megan Fox lookalike, but when the booze wears off you wake up to this girl." -The amount of selfies you take is disturbing -Your air bags have deployed. -NASA said an asteriod with the size of a football stadium would skim the earth... They were right about the size cuz you look like the one who wiped the dinosaurs -"We get it. Cleavage is all you think you have. If tits that sag to your waist mattered, we might agree." -why -My balls are scared of your compression -It's clear that you were once attractive in HS. You just didn't know when to stop eating. -Are those mirrors regulation size? Or did you have to inpork them? -Least shocking profile name of all times -Are you perhaps a teacher (specifically English or history. More history) who happens to work for grade school or middle schoolers... You seem like one of those unbearable teachers that constantly everyone talks about and makes rumors about. -I would but I dont think theres a bonfire in the world big enough to roast you on -How much gravy is on your roast -Hobbit with hair extensions -"You've nailed the two poses, now you just need to nail the body. Because no self respecting man would nail you." -Plenty of “Before” pictures to choose from -When you look like this... Getting roasted must be nostalgic. -Short teeth don’t care -We roast you the US military ain’t going hungry. -Same pose same size -Can you open this bottle of Coke for me? -How's Kermit? -Tig ol' bitties -Why did you post your dating profile pics on here? -Good to see someone's still rocking the 2k chunky highlights like all those porn stars did back then. -"Well I've learned to roast approximately 20 mins per pound, so if you've got a week or two lemme know" -You're built like an oompa loompa -"27? Wow, please don't post again when you're 37, it's already too sad" -You look like you squish your fat into a human-like shape. -You probably order the most annoying over-complicated drink on the menu at Starbucks to make up for your boring plain as white on rice personality. You provably boil chicken for dinner and eat it unseasoned. -You really like to eat roast… a lot. -"I think I recognize you, can you shove an apple in your mouth so I can be sure?" -You look like the single mother of a mixed child -I can’t see you in that one picture over the sink. How tiny are you? And those veneers must have cost big money. -"You look like someone who gets ""so brave"" commented on her bikini pics" -I'm sure you think your titties are big. but you're just fat -comment -"Go on, I think you can add at least a few more red flag adjectives to your bio." - I'm betting all of the demons inside you have been pulled out with coat hangers. -You look like you can only orgasm if The Nightmare Before Christmas is playing in the background. -Schizotypal is the bs excuse you use to justify you being a complete bitch to everyone. -You look like area51 merch! -You dissected a pug for your school science project. -Are you the main character in some found footage movie about a couple that adopts a murderous child? -You look like a 12-year-old boy with a shitty wig that sleeps like two hours a week 😟 -I don't know whether you are an illegal alien or an outerspace alien. -I have no actual personality so I define myself with mental illnesses to excuse my shitty behavior and you have to like me or it’s a hate crime -Rihanna's forehead is your competition -"If ""Bad Handjob"" had a face" -Resting Glare Face. -"Okay we get it, you’re brooding and full of angst. Very original." -Ex goth? You forgot to get your soul back -You look like you save used tampons and other people's hair balls. -The world doesn't need another pregnant Latina-Goth that can't read and does nothing but eat chips. -You look like you are just an absolute bitch to everyone at all times. -If you pull out a glowing cube and tell me not to stay as a bird for more than 2 hours I will be entirely unsurprised -Alien canthal tilt. -Sorry the transition isnt going well. Thots and prayers. -Wtf is a ex goth ?? -Definitely an illegal alien.  The only question is country or planet? -"Are you classified as human? I'm getting real ""meat popsicle"" vibes here." -Area 51 humanoid alien hybrid society plant 👽 -"Exhibit A for ""Don't stick your dick in crazy""" -You look like a grey man alien cosplaying as an illegal alien. -You must use all the pronouns. -You look like you work in a wind tunnel -"I’m not saying you look like an alien, but if you phoned home, no one would come to collect you." -If “crazy” had a face. -You look like my last hemorrhoid -This is what happens when you make a self-diagnosed mental illness your entire personality... -You're the dude who would be watching Ghostbusters and be rubbing one out to Slimer. -Do you just spray yourself with mace instead of makeup? -Why the long face? -"You look like you’re trying to be a groan person. Like when people try to be funny around you, you groan. - -And yet, you’re here. Asking for roasts to entertain yourself when you could’ve laughed or at least chucked from the jump. - -Good luck with your Nefertari ass face. Find a smile and maybe someone will engage in any sort of interaction with you outside of posting on a Reddit thread." -You’re quite possibly one of the weirdest looking humans I have ever seen. -Who diagnosed you as 'ex-goth'? Looks like your gotharrhea is still flaring up kid. -Looks like Lou Diamond Phillips post transition -Mulan's inbred cousin Mush  -Do you eat people? You look like you eat people. -Ex goth at 24? Quitter. -Hello racially ambiguous future person -"Dishonor on your whole family. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow." -Mexican Or Thailand Ladyboy? -Anal probe flashback activated… -"Your face screams ""unenthusiastic handjob""" -We have disappointment at home -"You should listen to the voices, they would give you better style advice then you think you already have" -ex goth? i think you mean a poser. -"This is the phase right before you cut your hair off, color it bright pink and get your septum pierced." -Jackie Chan and Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s love child. -"We men have a rule we are whispered at birth, ""don't stick your dick in crazy""." -"We get it, you're ""not like other girls"" 🥱" -The one and only spoon face everyone! -John Wick 5... they have run out of foreign extras... -Pic 3 is where you tell the guy you have a straight razor against his balls -"I'd say aim for prostitution, but yeah..." -You know she lost it bad when she wears a rug as a garment. -That nose gah damn that shit looks like I could use it as a slip and slide -"Ex-goth, but still a grey alien.​" -RIP pet bunny 🐰 -3 descriptors when ‘RBF Alien’ would do. -Bitch you look like Mantis with those bug ass eyes. -You look like a scary painting came to life -You look like a low effort alien from star trek. -Where is your 1 year M to F post? Asking for a friend. -"You're scaring me.. please stop ✋️ - -PRETZELS!! (My safe wurd)" -When aliens abduct a navajo woman and breed with her -You look like the skinny Asian d and d guy -I don’t want to fix you -Your face is taller than most people. -Why such the long face? -"Welcome to Earth, 👽" -We’re just making up disorders now? Ok. -You look like a joy to be around. -"If it wasn't for Multiple Personality Disorder, she'd have no personality at all." -"Not sure what these folks are going on about… I think you could be hot if you just looked different, and had a different personality." -"You are magic, one look and all joy is magically sucked out of the room. At least you'll always be able to find employment as a Dementor" -You look like that lady I scroll past on Facebook. The one that dresses like Wonder Woman and starts the video with her mouth closed. She then opens it and pulls objects you would never think could fit out of her throat hole. -I’d be pissed too if I looked like that -Your title screams “I’m desperate to sound interesting”. -4th pic is cute💕 -Ex goth? No such thing. Poser. -Go to sleep for fucks sake -Sleep paralysis demon looking ass -"So, basically you're a broke poser, with resting psycho face and a receding hairline, who stalks any guy who even speaks to you, and keeps texting them creepy ass shit a thousand times a day until they have to block you or obtain a restraining order." -Uh.. go back to goth. -"Man, I’ve always thought that resting bitchface was an exaggerated expression. How wrong I was…" -Yoko oh no -I’m starting to understand the hype of fucking an alien from Area 51 -Why the long face? -You're ugly -"just put the fries in the bag, minimum wage thing." -"In the second picture, we have Lucy Liu and Leonard Nimoy's lovechild" -Straight thought you were the guy from the walking dead -If the girl from The Ring got to grow up. -I'm Schizophrenic. We should hang out and tell each other about the craziest things we saw or heard. -What was crashing in Roswell like? -Why the long face.. -"Calling yourself an ex goth is embarrassing, it's much worse than just saying you're a goth" -You're like the living embodiment of a drug addiction. -I want to comment but I’m afraid you’ll crawl out of my TV. -Smile. -There’s more life in a cemetery than your face -Ok Ezra Miller -I refuse. Femme Fatale vibes and i love it. All you need now is goofy ahh animal sidekick -Got nothing bad to say. You’re absolutely stunning girl! -I feel like your tinder profile will have something like INFJ on it and expect some dumbass to know what that even means -You look like the majority of your friends are goats -Why the long face? -You look like a dark elf from oblivion -"Well at least you know your trajectory, and it’s not trending up!!! God luck. Hey you have close relatives that people should contact if you make it out that fucking train wreck. Hey at least your pretty that vacuous space on your shoulder, yeah at that empty cavern realized it’s absolutely aimless. You were to aimless instead of useless. I’d say think about that because about that. The origin of the word vacuous, combined Latin English word meaning lacking matter. I’d explain grey matter is but I’ve wasted enough time on you and other lost children. Be well or don’t, you’ll choose the later I’m sure." -You were really great in The Crying Game. -You’re beautiful once you get past the dead behind the eyes thing -You look like that evil option character preset in every RPG videogame. -Crazy’s are the best in bed -"You can just see the painfully stupid conversation about stars and magical crystals. -The cost of this pussy it steep" -You look like a liberal -Walking dead must look like you  -Biter. -"You look like someone who would stab all four tires on your ex's car, but then watch him through his bedroom window as he slept while you smoked two packs of camel filterless cigarettes." -👽 Greetings Visitor 👋🏾 👋🏾 -I can fix her. -You forgot the other black eyed peas. -"Next time I'm feeling down, I'll think back to this post. Knowing that you exist makes me feel REALLY good about myself" -You look like a few of my created characters in Skyrim -Seeing a legit “**resting I’ll ruin your life face**” is a new one on me. -You should be actor with that expressive range of emotion. -Her two personalities are named Sweet and Sour -Ffs go back to goth -You look like when someone asks your body count you tell them how many people you have murdered. So far. -"Go to a depression support group. You'll feel better. - - Why? - - All the other attendees will cheer up when they see they aren't as bad as you." -"It takes more muscles to frown than to stay neutral or even smile. - -You look like you go out of your way to be a bitch." -Drinking too much improperly mixed absinthe just to fit in with the creepy kids pretty much fried any remaining brain cells you had. -The Last Smile Bender lookin' ass. -Blue or red pill ? -"You look like Damien Priest, and not in a good way" -Unenthusiastic blowjob personified -Your smile lights up a room. 😑 -You look like an early ai robot prototype. -I guess we now know what a human arrowhead looks like. -You look like you sacrifice babies -You look like an alien sent on a mission to infiltrate earth disguised as a trashy asian prostitute -You look like you’re just pissed that the mummy couldn’t keep you alive after reviving you. -Side profile of Mr Ed -AYYY LMAO -Big Chief from One Flew Over looks angry these days. -look up resting bitch face in the dictionary and it shows her picture. -"How did you escape Skyrim, being a wood elf and all" -"I didn't know there was a ""got bit by a zombie 30 mins ago"" filter but here we are." -profile pics from jihad date -tell us you can be a see you next tuesday in picture form -With those rings around your eyes you definitely look like you were rude hard and hung up wet -Forget about the ugly tree you look like you were hit by the ugly train.... -Too bad the goths kicked you out. Lots of dark makeup was your only hope. -if you weren't so miserable looking you'd probably be presentable -You wouldn’t look a lot prettier if you smiled. -"Just a big ball of nothing, aren't ya?" -this new live action deadlock movie is gonna be nuts. they nailed the casting for Yamato. -Didn’t I see your picture on a wanted poster? -You look like you need a hug. -"You should go back to being goth, only heavy makeup is able to save that" -Your body count is higher than your body count. -"""If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best"" - -""Whatever, I felt sorry for you anyway, you've got a small dick and all your friends want to fuck me"" - -""What, your broke arse can't take me out? I got guys in my DMs who will"" - - -Sound familiar ?" -You look like your parents were as absent as your personality is. -I can't fix her. -It's a rule of mine to not date a girl that has a higher body count than Chris Kyle. -"Attempt : Trying to look cool. -Outcome: Tight as a drum with Resting Bitch Face" -Why the (extra) long face? -"""If you cant handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best"" ~~bitch~~ girl please, you narcissistic fox faced im holding a fart in faced psycho. -Get help, the Roast won't do it. -You need work. -At Walmart counter to humble you. Kendrick style." -Looks like you’ll be getting deported soon -You look like youre trying to hide the fact that you enjoy long walks on the beach and picnics in the park -wtf is a ex goth -"Well, The Blair Witch Project has finally been solved." -I guess you can go into porn with a bag on your head if your willing enough to take it in the ass -You look like you give really sad head. -You look like you own a lot of knives but don’t use them for cooking… -"Why do I want you to stand over me naked and treat me schizotypal as hell? Oh yeah, because I am a degenerate…." -You look like a Praying Mantis -You look like you should be crawling out of a tv screen -The grudge at home -Zeta Reticuli head having ahh bish -When you’re learning to draw and can’t quite put the eyes in the right place. -"I bet your dad wishes he'd been aimless, too." -"You look like the model for a yet to be developed impotence drug. No, not to cure it…to give it to someone." -"Your pointless existence has been fulfilled by posting here. Next, please." -I’ve never heard someone call themselves ex-goth. Guess it was just a phase for you. -"I would like a single plum, floating in perfume served in a man’s hat" -There's nothing wrong with being average. Join the club! -Someone's got a cooler of kitten corpses buried in the woods.... -Tomie came to life and your eyes show just how soulless you are. -"For some, resting bitch face is an aesthetic. For you, apparently it's just bitch face." -"""Life is a waterfall -We're one in the river -And one again after the fall""" -why the long face -Your eyes are as dead as I want to be after having looked at you. -Something about you reminds me of a sphynx cat -"sooo, - - -knock knock, -anybody home, -or is it disturbingly empty in the schizo dome?" -You're still goth just in brighter clothes. -Nice wigs bro -She can chop a tree down with that face. -Marilyn Manson and Keanu Reeves’s bizarro child. -"You look like the girl from the ring crossed with an android. I also am 100% sure others perceive you as cringy and not angsty, which is what you're going for" -First pic is from the collection of the faceless men in GOT. -You look like a Bruce Lee/Alien hybrid from Temu -Your forehead is so big it even could be a landing strip for airplane's -"No doubt have yelled at a man being like “Who is SHE, dont lie to me” and then after an hour of abuse you admit it was just some test." -Took me a second to realize I’m looking at a female and not pics of Los Angeles International airport. -The reason why you were born was the reason.. Oh I suck at this -You look like how hard bread tastes. -Gumby as a tranie -"You look like a dude pretending to be a girl, mischievous racoon looking ahh, you look like you command a army of flying rats... Dehydrated plum head ahh, loose basketball shoe nose ahh" -Aylmaoo 👽 -Even Jesus is not delusional enough to think he could fix you -Wish.com Rosa from Brooklyn 99 -"Like… I still would, I just wouldn’t tell my friends about it." -With a face like that I'd go goth as well -Rosa from Wish -"Bro, your next step is literally to just open an OF and get money off of idiots who are into goth hoes and degradation. Thats your only way up, you look fucking insufferable. My Grandpa's advice was always ''Dont stick your dick in crazy'' glad i stayed true to his words" -You look like Mulan and Pocahontas had a baby -"Your parents still haven’t forgiven you for that B, have they?" -Joyless -She knows so much about herself yet are so unsure of who she is. -Daddy called and you have issues -you would have a man go to war for you and then gaslight him after he's won. -I can smell you through my screen. It’s horrible. -Looks like Voldemort with a nose -Kicked out of the mothership and now stuck wandering cemeteries. -Yoko *Ohnoooo* -You look like the dark elves vanilla character model in Skyrim -would -I never dislike roastme but you made me do it today -Why the long face? -"That's the face of someone who's purchased plastic sheeting, shovels, and quicklime." -You remember that alien autopsy video that everybody saw a couple of decades ago? After they stopped filming somebody put his wiener inside of its dead corpse and out came you like the Xenomorph in Alien 3 -She looks like a pissed off cat -Why the long face? -Look like you’d slit my throat the minute I fell asleep. -You can already tell you dress weird and think everyone else just conforms to society. -"you look like you'd enjoy using piano wire to remove someone's legs - -(Audition (1999))" -You forgot to link to your SlenderFans page. -Supernatural is over. Get a new job. -Self diagnosis queen -comment -Sooo this is Meg Griffin all grown up.... -The tide wouldn't take you out. -You look like you need a back up generator for your vibrators. -“You’re everything I’ve always wanted in a woman” - no one. -"You misspelt ""childless by the choice of every man I ever met""." -I've seen more sex appeal on a second coat of paint -**By choice** 😂😂😂 -"Just come out as a lesbian, you don't have to be one, but it has to be easier than explaining all that." -Thank you for taking yourself out of the gene pool -Have you ever resisted asking to see the manager? -"You wanted to be a teacher, but then you realized you hated kids. You wanted to date, but then you realized you hated men. You wanted to be a lesbian, but you hated commitment. You wanted to be happy, but you went to the internet." -"Come on, even your mom tricked a guy once... you go girl" -Where's the picture of the 26 stray cats you are feeding? -Fuck I'd hate to see you without makeup on. -"""by choice""... ah yes, says every average looking and single middle-aged woman who's been dumped after any partner gets a good look at her soul. You aren't any of those things by choice sweetheart." -"Please move out. Sincerely, mum" -"Broke, 39 and lives with mom. - -Time to start a fentanyl addiction and just make it a grand slam." -Why 4 pictures? You’re clearly in the same bathroom spinning around it for some reason. If you were gonna give us that many you could have at least included one of the toilet so our eyes would have something better than your face to look at for one of them. -Mom keeps dropping hints about you moving out but you’re oblivious to the fact that the poor woman wants to get her swerve on -"\*childless by choice\* -what you forgot to mention is the choice was made by the men, not by you." -We can tell youve never seen a stiff penis -"Lives with mom, never married, no friends, living at home.. - -""childless by choice"", what choice? - -Your eyes tell me you are already done with life" -"Has anyone ever told you that you have a resting bitch face? If so, don’t believe them. It’s just a bitch face, no resting Involved." -"Never married, childless by choice, yupe as soon as I saw that line, it confirmed you are a wise woman. You probably just didn’t want to bring anyone down to your level of a sad life." -Guess I’ll be the one to tell you the truth. When your male coworker said you looked nice the one time he was just being polite. -Is there actually anything to feel good about? I doubt it -Childless by choice AKA no dude was stupid enough to raw dog her. -"You know it’s bad when you slap a bent key ring on your ring finger to fool yourself you’re even partially wanted by someone, anyone…" -Mom must be so proud /s -Your mom's not mad just extra disappointed -"“Childless by choice”? - -Don’t you mean those eggs are expired?" -You sounds like my sister. she tends to also piss everyone off that she comes across -"Translation: I was never with a man long enough to get to the kids stage and overtime I have learned to be a selfish a hole so now I don't wan them and say I am ""childless by choice"" - - -When no one comes to visit you in the state run nursing home where they leave you parked in a wheelchair facing the wall for 8 hours a day, you may come to regret that decision. (Your pets can't visit you there either)." -"If you fly, your face would be the most static thing in the sky." -You have become your mom. You took 5 pictures of the same pose -How can you be childless and still be boring?!?! -No point in starting an OnlyFans to attempt to solve your money problems. -Your vagina dried up and left. That's not really a choice. -I’d hit it… but I wouldn’t tell my friends. -Im sorry I can't roast you. I see the sadness in your eyes. Hope life gets better -You look like you socialize about your monthly flow as a conversation starter. -"That’s funny that you think you’re childless by choice. My dear, not even the IVF tech want to put needles in you!" -Childless by choice is a strange way of saying no man wants you -"You’re 39, no kids, and yet you’re still broke living with mom." -Bet your retired mom wishes her house was childless right now. -"When you have to say by choice to make yourself feel better then we all know the real reason, plus you adding pics seals the deal" -Your skin is the same color as that envelope. Is this intentional? Or do you never leave the house? -She definitely enjoys her farts -"I've seen more lively mannequins. Start an OF for small town librarian necrophiles, maybe you can change the broke part." -You look like you’ve won cashier of the month at Walmart 34 years in a row -"You look like the Walgreens brand version of JK Rowling, except less interesting." -When the library worker discovers Internet n Reddit -i’d shoot ropes all over those glasses NGL -Take the ring off. You’re not fooling anyone -"Doesn't want kids in case they're still living with her at 39. - -Only fans didn't work out as no one wanted to buy her ""watch me fuck myself while mom is in the other room solo vids"" - -Probably broke as she has to pay guys to interact with her on OF as hers failed." -"You look like you write 1 star reviews for video games set in ancient fantasy China for ""lack of diversity"" in a Buddhist temple." -Your “forehead to face ratio” is really concerning. -"Childless by choice? - -Oh lawd..." -Definitely a democrat -The Picture of Dorian's Gay Aunt -bet you were great at giving relationship advice “theoretically” -Is your mom single? -It’s like Ms Rachael couldn’t cut it online and fell back to being a supervisor at a McDonald’s -"I assume you're uncle gave you a deep seeded fear of men and that's why you put ""by choice""" -You need to have gotten laid in the past ten years to still consider it a choice. -"You look like the star of ""When White Bread met Mayonnaise""" -Has your skin ever seen the sun? -"She's the girl before the makeover in your favorite early 2000s movie. - - -Probably played by Anne Hathaway" -aint got her cherry but still got the box it came in -You have already been roasted enough for 39 years good that your skin hasn't turned crispy -Harris voter -Childless but definitely not Cat less !! -I actually can't roast you. Message me -You look like my English teacher that I used to want to fuck. -"""Childless by choice"" = customer of the year at Planned Parenthood.." -"Oh wait no way you’re too pretty for 39- oh wait sorry, didn’t expand the post photo, never mind." -"Starting your about you with how many felines you adopt, impressive." -Your paper clip ring shows your standards are lower than whale shit. -You have the dead eyes and an SSRI smile that screams broken goods from a mile away. -Your bio already did enough roasting. -After 20 years at the gloryhole she realized there’s no pension plan. -Wait. Female incels are a thing now? -"""by choice"" 😂" -I swear your midlife crisis is going to be whether to have a pizza pocket or macaroni. -"Your hair looks wet, yet somehow fried to death. Try another identical selfie in the world's weirdest bathroom so I can see better." -I’d bang -You look like the kind of girl that would sleep with me. -"Let me guess. - -Hates men (really just sexist), pro feminism (it's really psuedofeminism used as an excuse to be sexist) and is fake confident (but really just an emotional and anxietal wreck)" -You're extraordinary.. less extra more ordinary.... -"Instead of only fans, she has only bland" -Ive seen more accomplishments in life from a second coat of paint. -Glad the circle of hideousness stops with you. Brave . -"Oh that was your mom, I thought it was you" -"You look bitchy. That’s why no one wants to be around you. It’s actually your one good quality that you’ve decided not to be a parasite on some poor lonely man, and ruin his life to try and save yours." -So is your dad a giraffe or a horse? I mean with a neck like that. -Leader of the mouse click movement. I called it first on reddit. -"Can't even be an old cat lady because based on everything there, even the cats would run from you." -Where arr you in the picture? Maybe you just blend in with the wall. -"Least you know she’s not hiding anything, she’s got the imagination of a tuna can" -Where are all the 73 Cats you have? Already thrown at the neighbour who is parking in your spot? -The Naughty Librarian for the illiterate  -When are you starting your lesbian phase? -You do kinda look like you like to scratch your butt and sniff your fingers a lot -"I don’t think I’ve seen a more boring post on this sub. The same blank look on your face in the same room, taken 4 different times. If “one sided conversation” was a sports team, you’d be the fucking mascot." -You look like you don't want any friends also. -You look like math camp 7/10. -Hey Matilda ?? 😆😆 -BTW people with very little social contacts always look much younger than their age -Nice bio. Maybe you should post some of your negatives. -Are you Frost Lich Jaina ? -You put the sensual in non-consensual sex. -"That's ok, the Greenland Shark doesn't reach sexual maturity until 150 yrs old, and has even worse eyesight from the parasites that live in it's eyes, so you aren't doing too bad for an old fish" -Jesus if this is feeling good about yourself how fucking bad were you two years ago?! -"Ahh the perfect teacher material, the ones that are strict mostly" -Your every social interaction into a discussion snort abortions and pegging - two things you’ll never have to worry anoit -host mom of a boring student exchange vibes -your husband must be a porn addict -"Did you forget to mention ""been to rehab multiple times""" -"Look Iike a female Fred Armisen but somehow with a worse hairline. - -Whoever told you that you should only wear black was doing us all a favor. Can't see you if you turn around." -"Some of these are just no fun, I’m tired of punching down…in this case the bottom of the barrel." -"Poor, lonely, childless, lives at home… how are you starting to feel good about yourself 😂" -I bet her underwear has dick holes. -"No way, you’re sexy af" -Childless by choice or because no one would fuck you? -"Dont get near me, i will put a baby in you toots sweet" -That's sad. You would have made some octogenarian a great wife. -Wow - you look and sound like an incubator kid. Unused and never left the house…. -Battery sales are unusually high in her part of the world 😂😂😂 -So you're squatting in your mom's house huh? -"I'm definitely getting Norma(n) Bates vibes here... - - -""Remember Norma(n), only your mother loves you"" - - -😂😂😂" -Starting to feel good? You sure? -asmongold? -Excellent -You forgot virgin -Lady. What else can we roast u about. U need a toast. -"Come on now, we know you live in a homeless shelter" -"Most forgettable face ever, in fact by the time I scrolled for the comments I forgot what you looked like and didn’t bother" -Your highest attained degree is an IUD -You look like a dentist assistant at like a real shitty dentist office in a cheap strip mall. -">39F - ->broke - -You could always make and post your ""cat"" videos online. Excellent way to score some steady income." -Do you own a cat?? -You hit the wall at 20 -You look like every English school teacher I have ever met -Brokieee😂 -I was in love with Lisa Loeb back in 93. Now I know what she’ll look like at 93 -If borderline personality was a person. -The spectacles are wearing your head -"What do you have to feel good about? Childless by everyone else's choice, avoided by sane people so you have no friends and burden your mother with your presence." -Your nose looks like it’s side profile is more respectable than you. -You look like you reek of cat dander -You sure it shouldn't read 39M? -Have you tried dating blind guys? -Has your mom figured out that you're not stirring macaroni and cheese in your room by yourself at midnight yet? -You look like exactly like how I imagined a child free person would look like. Maybe dye your hair blue for the added touch and add a cat -"""Childless by choice"" is a weird way of saying ""every dude I've met finds out I'm over 30 and still live with my parents, so they ghost me after our first encounter and now I've missed my biological childbearing clock, so I'll just tell people it was by personal choice""" -I’d hit it from the back -Poster child for the Kamala Harris campaign -"You're practically 40, LIVE WITH YOUR ***MOTHER***...and claim you're childless by choice? - -I've met some pretty delusional people, but you're right up there with the best of them. It ain't by choice when you're not getting laid at all because no one wants to deal with the hot mess that's your life." -"Nice choices you’ve made, shame if someone were to die alone" -How much you fucked up that you have 0 friends. -Can't you mom take you to the Democratic convention to that mobile abortion van where they can perform a post-birth abortion? Why waste oxygen and resources that could be used on worthy brown people? -39 is the new 18 -"Childless by choice, not yours it seems" -If constipation had a face -“By choice” -How can I roast you harder than God who gave you that life you have. -Your 39 and live with your mom. You roasted yourself lol -This is the closest you can get to the female version of forty year old virgin.... Childless by choice (the choice being of all the men saying no!) -These pics are def you at your best. You at your best is a yikes to begin with. Hope the women empowerment makes you feel strong 💪 ✊🏿 -"Your colour is not black, it's beige." -So what exactly are you feeling good about? -How's it feel knowing that this post is pretty much your only legacy? -"That bathroom is hideous you should be ashamed. - -Get some more stylish frames while you're at it. - - - -I'm sorry I'm not good at this." -"When I was in high school, I was a virgin by choice. Same as you, it wasn't MY choice." -"“Lives with mom, never married, childless by choice, no friends, AND BROKE!” - -Yo, How tf are you broke?" -Broke and childless huh? That means only tips for you -Feel good about what? -LonelyFans -You posted basically the same picture 4 times -I'll marry you. That's even worse than a roast. -"When are you going to start a family? All of your friends are already with kids who are going to college next year.What about that nice young man Graig from the bank? He seemed interesting enough, at least he tried to talk to you.Are you looking for a job or you are just spending your time on that internet? It will not put money on the table, you know?" -“Childless by choice” is not synonymous with nobody wants to fuck you. -Childless by other people’s choice. -"Oh man, this is going to be a sad OnlyFans..." -you should stop lending your boyfriend money who lives with his wife -"By choice, means nobody choose you?" -Childless???? I can solve that problem out. -Stray cats cross the street when they see you coming. They know a collector when they see one. -Childless by choice? …….. Yeah I guess SOMEONE out there would hit it… maybe -Wasn’t she the psycho in the Walmart video who had a melt down bc a man challenged her for cutting in line? -Can you explain to us why exactly you're feeling good about yourself? -"""childless by choice"" you live with your mom. Sounds like she made the decision for you. - -Alt: thought I misread 19F, cus it seems like you never grew up." -If Daria was a person. -Shawty you didn’t have to caption this…we can read your mind through your forehead -Your face is so static -"You look like Bud Bundy from Married...with children, and live a little like him, at parents house. You as basement dwellers can only go up now your down, Even in that basement you can say 'Every day above ground is a good day'." -Plain Jane -Dammit Peggy get of the intraweb and go fix Bobby’s dinner -When even the hood rejects you… -You look like the kind of person who would eat an entire bucket of popcorn and perform a symphony of farts in a crowded movie theater -"so in other words, you're more used than that door, which was probably installed around the same time you were born" -You look how under seasoned chicken tastes. -How many cats do you have? I'd guess between 5 and 10. -How the hell are you single??? -By choice…. LOL -Maybe you should try meth now? Seems like it might save some time and help ya mom out. -Smash -Jesus...you have THE most average look ever. Damn... -Nothing we can say to you is more a roast than the mere testament of your own existence. -Genuinely quite curious here... Why on Earth were you starting to feel good about yourself? -You just roasted yourself.I don’t think it can get that much worse. -Between those legs it probably sounds like the 13 ghosts of scooby doo -You cant roast something that has been cremated. -Why -"Oh honey, it's not by choice. Trust me." -"""Childless by choice"" = can't get any dick for love not money" -How is that basement D&D game going? -Tell me I drive an Impreza without telling me I drive an Impreza. -Why would you possibly be feeling good about yourself? You’re a 40 year old child with literally nothing positive going for you. -If failure had a face... -"Thankyou OP, i’m a 23 yr old male who has trouble getting out and meeting people but youve just inspired me to break these shackles for fear I end up old and alone like you. Bless you !!!" -God is pretty fair. You must have a great personality. -Shoot you look you could be an art teacher -Living with your mom and still being broke is a new low. -"Childless by choice means nobody is interested. But on a positive note, lucky kids!" -Unenthusiastic handjob personified -Keep telling yourself that all of those things are by choice. 🙄 -You’re life will be even more miserable because you chose no kids -Are you always sitting on toilett taking pictures? -I’m guessing your poor mom didn’t have a choice. -"At least your mom can still claim you on her taxes, so you still have some purpose." -"You look nice. That's how this sub works, right?" -Oh boy do you have a bright future ahead of you. Look forward to spending the next 15 years of your life taking care of your aging parent. Only to have nobody around to take care of you as you grow old and die! -Whose choice? -39F is really too complimentary for you. -"If you had told us nothing we would have assumed all of your life facts except the ""starting to feel good about myself"" part " -What’s the point of saving your virginity only to end up at your mom’s house at 39 -at least you’re not pretty as well…. may was well go all-in -You look like the character in a movie who wants to do evil shit but no one will take you seriously so you just become a librarian and misplace the books. -"You're like that fun wine aunt, but minus the fun. Thanks for not reproducing though!" -"Childless by choice. - -Ya ok." -"How TF can you live with your mom, have no kids or friends to spend money with, and STILL be broke." -"Childless by choice, cap." -“Childless by choice” that’s a funny way to put it Casey Anthony -You look like you started out as Pam from the office but are about 75% of the way to Phyllis. -"All right, you asked for this. Girl, get yo no friends, no money having ass into my car. So I may take yo ("" I just starting to feel good about myself""), to dinner. Then I'll take yo never been married, with no kids having ass to my place and have your ankles behind your head and make babies. - -ROAST!! (drop mic 🎤)" -She wants to speak to the manager -Everyone of these pics are post dump? Plan b mornings mabey? Childless cuz they drowning in your toilet. -You might have some value... do you at least do butt stuff? -Your post says by choice but your eyes say help me. -I believe you were childless by choice. Not sure it was your choice. -You’re like the base model of a paper doll where adding clothes and accessories make the doll fantastic -If “fucked and never called again” needed a profile picture your phone would be ringing -I’ve got nothing. You’re way too beautiful. I’ve got nothing. -Childless by your choice or the child’s? -Halloween has come early. And in your case nobody comes early. -It by choice guys. -Anyone wanna bet how many cats she has? -Still waiting for the part you are currently feeling good about. -Facial expression range of Kristin Stewart. -Never married is sad when you notice the cosplay wedding ring you wear. Smh -Please move that piece of paper down about 10 inches. Thank you. -You have the sex appeal of soggy bread -Bloody messes from your abortions aren’t a replacement for your dwindling periods. -Is your name Cathy? Emphasis on the cat part -Tell me you're a lesbian and don't know it without telling me you're a lesbian and don't know it -You look like cats won’t come near you -You're the Temu version of Laura Prepon from Orange is the New Black -"It's not them, it's you" -I am human. I swear -Not by your choice -You have this look of being a failed low budget pornstar that now teaches school because Ron Jeremy said you were a terrible lay. -"You look like a ""before"" photo" -childless by choice. but not your own choice. -Your mom looks pretty good actually! Can you show us a pic of yourself now? -Nice key… ring. -Stay safe with your family! -"Childless ""by choice""." -"I am disappointed, I can't see cats and huge bad dragon. - -DM me if you need daily roast" -Where in the UK do you live -"Childless by choice. ""Choice""🤣🤣🤣 - -Sus" -"Sounds like you’re already down a bunch of pegs, no need to say anything else." -Your rent is cheap! Still the right side of 40. You don't have to deal with a significant other's bullshit! No screaming kids draining your soul and bank account. Ultimate freedom and actually quite pretty! Best get up the ER for this burn! -I don’t get this at all. You’re beautiful! -Man you don't often see a placental connection between a mother and a daughter last so long. Could she be the prophecy? -Shut up Meg -The reason that your cats don't run away? You smell like fish. -U look like a 2nd grade maths tutor -"Soo genuinely confused.. why would you start to feel good about yourself for the first time in two years with everything else you state leading up to that? - -Then, why would you want to be taken down a peg unless it was like a weird manifestation of your conscience crying out because deep down you know everything you describe prior IS a mistake and you have nothing to feel good about? - -Also just curious, why is “childless” the only thing you feel the need to specify with “by choice”?" -"Childless ""by choice"" and still broke.. dang." -Being utterly repulsive to any man alive is not childless by choice -You look like a librarian that is trying to sneak into a wicken to retrieve an overdue book -I can smell the cat piss from here -Not sure why you feel good about yourself -I wouldn't ride you into battle. -Lmao your cats are going to eat you -"If you wanna be taken down just look in the mirror. - -I feel bad for the mirror for having to reflect you." -"So basically, 39F, spinster. - -You could have just saved us from the long dissertation." -You need to go to a bar tonight and seriously get laid……… -Are you waiting for a similarly aged and unremarkable stepsister so that you can start an entertainment company with a pitch involving your stepdad's yacht? -Are you waiting for a similarly aged and unremarkable stepsister so that you can start an entertainment company with a pitch involving your stepdad's yacht? -Why do I feel like JD Vance had left your town 5 minutes before he came up with the childless cat ladies phrase -I’m new to this Reddit Why would you ask a bunch of strangers to roast you -"I’m really glad you’re finally feeling good about yourself but, it’s got me wondering …….. HOW?" -comment -You look like the average homeless guy who thinks he's a wizard. -"I survived cancer too, stop giving us a bad name." -Did you beat cancer or did it just give up on you like life did? -Cancer is getting lazy -"Bro, I don't think you survived" -If Albert Einstein was dumb and the only formula he knew was for cooking meth -"beating cancer but not baldness has gotta be up there in the top 10 for the epitome of the idiom ""you win some you lose some""" -"I misread that as ""make me senile""." -Rumpel steals skin -Looks like your surviving ugly too so congrats on both -"Can't roast you, brother. You defeated cancer. We are nobody to roast a warrior. Live long, stay healthy!" -He beat cancer to die from a stroke after reading all the posts. -Knock it off. cirrhosis of the liver is not cancer. -Not ripping on a cancer survivor…bravo sir. -Roast you or make you smile? Either you are a brave soul and congrats or you know where “the good” dumpsters are. -"You may have beat cancer, but it got a few good licks in." -"""Where are my glasses? Somebody hid my glasses! Oh, those darn kids!""" -Oh wow…. why bother. Dude looks like got roasted 50yrs ago. -Next time pick a Sagittarius as your wife -Did you actually survive because you look like you've been drawn into the picture. -Survivor? *sigh* -"Did you go to school with George Washington? - -For real tho congrats on beating cancer!" -Surviving cancer just to end up on Reddit…… I know a masochist when I see one. -If I was cancer I’d let you survive just to get away from you -So i guess chemotherapy was your drug of choice -"I’m less than half your age and beat cancer twice already. Next. - -(Proud of you and happy for you though 🫶)" -Looks like you beat the cancer on second try. -"WHAAAAAAT DID YOU SAY, HUH? You put the "" G"" in Geezer!" -"Life has already done that, sir. Thank you for your service" -you look startled and upset did someone nick your crack stash? -Was it tooth cancer? No wonder they had to take them all out. -The cancer was the only thing keepin the wife happy -Live that you beat Cancer! Be well my friend -"So which of those damn grandkids hid ur teeth, put ur glasses on top of ur head, handed you the roast me sign which u culdnt read, and said dont worry no one else will see this pic?" -Looks like cancer dodged a bullet. -Now that he beat cancer he can spend the rest of his life trying to open a jar -"Your glasses are dirtier than your ""old man mind""" -"You survived cancer. There, that should make you smile." -"Dude, honor your life. Do good. Don’t do this." -"Actually, I don't have the heart to roast him. He just looks like a wonderful grandpa who spends time with his grandchildren fishing in the lake. He just looks like a nice old man who would call you a young man or a young lady. And the fact that he wants to smile by us roasting him is so pure oml😭😭. Ain't no way I'm roasting him. BE MY GRANPDA PLS😭🙏" -You might have won the war but cancer won A LOT of battles -"Your a f*ckin hero, survivor and damn good sense of humor! Bet having a beer with you would be fun as shit lmao" -I thought you said you survived -I can't even roast a cancer survivor that's just amazing to hear man congratulations -That's fucked up I'm all for roasting people but not an old guy that survived cancer -Got those Charles Manson eyes -I’m not gonna roast you. I’m Gen X. I have respect for my elders -its like you died and the cancer survived and is using you like a skin suit. like the bug in MIB -He didn’t have cancer.. cancer had him -Beat cancer but couldn't beat that criminal hairline -"You’ve been looking for your glasses for a solid week, haven’t you?" -The “time to make the donuts” guy didn’t age well -It was check out time and you didn't leave? Rotten you. -You look like Bill Nye from the Future. Who built a time machine to come back to a time where he's allowed within 200 yards of a school. -You look like you made Pinocchio just so you can sit on his nose - Did you survive meth too? -Your age should be enough to make you smile :) -"You're 69 but you look like you lived those years twice. -So do you forget your real age like ... how you forget to wear glasses? Putting them on your head doesn't make you see better." -Are you sure you beat cancer? Looks like your colon cancer just migrated to your face! -You're my boy Blue! -"Hey gramps! My uncle passed away with cancer too. -Props to you gramps!" -"So this is what happened to Paul Chuckle lost his brother, turned to the crack pipe. Oh and your photo looks like a DUI mugshot, you look like you may have done that before..." -Twice baked cockatoo -"Congrats on finally having a 69 in your life, but i really don't care for astrology." -You should have let cancer win. -"Dammit,the ibe time we're on cancers side" -I don't want to make you smile.... I don't want to see what's left of your teeth -Fuck me if that’s surviving death would have been the kind choice. -Charles Manson without tattoos -"Not only tumors, you also hoard kitchen appliances!" -"Methamphetamine survived cancer, amazing" -*Looks at cadaver cleverly posed for photo* Are you sure you survived? -"Even your cancer is a loser. - -Glad you made it." -"Cancer of the tortoise shell is no joke, glad to see you surviving without yours" -They call you hyman roth -"Cancer decided to leave you alone because you are so fricking old and gonna die anyway. - -Cancer thought that would be piling on." -"Cancer didn't survive you, that's how disappointing your cancer was." -"Beat cancer, but couldn’t beat that trailer park life." -"You look ready for your next battle , against AIDS now champ" -You didn’t get cancer. Cancer got you -I don't think I can roast you any better than the 70s already did. -Thank you for not smiling in your pic. I'm sure we'd just see a large gummy void. -You know it’s sad when cancer doesn’t even want you… -tick tock -Survived cancer? Yer to tough for hell to contain ya. -Smiling requires teeth. -Why’d you bother surviving? -Cancer dint survive you !!! -Sling Blade sequel is looking rough. -Even cancer thought you weren't worth it -"Bad News, you’ve been dead for the past nine years." -"I don't see the point of roasting him, he's got two breaths to go" -"Bet it feels good having dodged the roast, for now. 😂" -And here I though chemo was the perfect solution to a bad hair day. -"You want a second dose of chimio? This one could be fatal, little toast" -"You survived? Holy shit, I thought this was /r RoastMyCarcass." -Bootleg walter white -Looks like cancer survived you. -"Dude, cancer survived YOU." -Cancer gave up on you like your family and society ……. -Yer my boy blue -The cancer did not survive you -Why would you make me root for Cancer? -Tooth cancer? -"You might be technically alive, but survivor is laying it on a bit thick" -Where are we gonna get plutonium from in 1955??? -"You faked cancer so you could stay in bed and be lazy, only to hop out full of life when Charlie came home with the Golden Ticket" -“Survivor” -You look recently deceased -"For the moment. - regards, Cancer" -You sure you survived? -This is how I imagine cancer would look if it was a human. -"""survivor"" is being used pretty loosely here, you snaggle-toothed hermit." -He survived. But his Family wishes otherwise. -Cancer should have won this time. -Are you sure you survived? Is that a Sandworm at the front door? -Are you sure you survived the cancer? Has anyone taken your pulse lately? -"You're grandkids ain't shit for this! 😂 - -""Hey, gramps, wanna take a pic for the socials?""" -"For the first time ever, the hospital allowed the cancer to ring the bell when it was finally free of YOU." -It looks like the grim reaper is trying to fool us with a proof of life. -Not many women named cancer nowadays -"You took the fun out with your pitty throw. -That’s the equivalent of saying I’m a cancer survivor, make fun of me." -Doc Brown finally found a hair dresser and ...meth. -Bummer. This was the one time everyone was actually rooting for cancer to win. -It means that hell don't even accept you. -Damn. That radiation really cleaned you up. -Not even death wants anything to do with you -"Your teeth, cancer, I assume your children, seems like nothing wants to be around you for long." -Looks like the cancer already roasted you. -Bro you look like the crackhead version of Steven Speilberg -"For photos, please put your teeth back in." -"Cancer took one look at you and said ""Nah.""" -"Even the cancer thought, fuck that I'm not sticking around this guy for any longer!" -This was posted nearly 24 hours ago. Is he still around? The guy probably doesn't even buy green bananas. -"Having someone save your the ""cancer on the ass of society"" does not make you a cancer survivor." -"Cancer, is that what they all call meth these days?" -"Gosh for a second I thought Doc Brown returned back from the past to tell us that his relationship with cancer had a future... - -So the term Chemical Brother gets a new meaning I guess." -Cancer? Is that what we are calling meth now? -Nice -Sorry I ain't roasting no cancer survivor. The smell would be horrible. -"Judging by the picture, you’re living in the attic of this house without the owners’ knowledge and you come down at night to shoot selfies in the kitchen." -"Cancer survived cancer? - -Seriously, congrats though" -You look like you steal catalytic converters -Roast? dude you’ve been fried to a crisp already -"Sir, you deserve to be honored!@! You made me smile." -"Good for you, you don't look a day over 67!" -"First: Congrats on beating Cancer. - -Second: I guess the treament made you look like a saggy ballsac...oh well." -Impressive ventriloquism. I can almost see it shaking through the still frame -You look like every homeless guy that asks you for a cigarette. -I don't need to put anything in the comments I could just say it out loud and you could hear me from anywhere in the world with those large ears. (Hope this makes you smile😸) -Has a doctor conformed that you survived? It doesn't look it from here. -You wrote 89 wrong. -Sometimes cancer gets it wrong -You may have survived cancer but don’t look like it. -You are never going to find your glasses -Why does this fool look like the old man that fixes Woody in toy story 2?? -"I think it’s a little early to claim survived, looks like it may go into OT…" -Even cancer doesn’t want to be with you -Doc from Back to the future but without any science or time machine. Just meth. Lots of meth. -You look like a skinny Pedro Pascal. -Even cancer didn't want to stay with you. -Even cancer hates you !! -You look like the chicken they didn’t slaughter cuz there’s not enough meat -You’re sure you survived cancer? -Hey hate to burst your bubble.But I think cancer won -No doubt he’s been looking for his glasses for the last 2 weeks -"Cancer was like, it sucks living in this dude; I’m out of here." -"Ladies and Gentlemen we have special treat for you this evening, straight out of Family Guy it’s John Herbert!" -Must've had tooth cancer... -"In case you forgot, you’re glasses are on your head" -You misspelled “holocaust survivor “ -He's been looking for his glasses all day -Which bit survived? -You're handsome and look like you'd be fun to play Crabs with -Make you smile or send you back to chemo your call??? -Head looks as if it wore out two bodies before this one -Man you look like a guy that buys a car with the check engine light already on. -Are you sure you survived? -"Oh, looking here... It's The Wizard of Weird!" -You look like you spend your free time chasing after Chris Griffin and his friends. -"If Courage the Cowardly Dog got a live action adaptation, you would be a shoe it to play Eustace." -That’s cool that cancer survived after being in your body and all but what we really wanna know is how many feet you have to stay away from schools and daycares? -Those glasses aren’t gonna make up for your lost lips and jawline -Just because she put some coins in your paper cup that one fine day doesn’t mean you were married. Time to put the ring back on the graveyard corpse you stole it from? -is cancer what we’re calling a thirty year meth binge these days? -You could have said you survived world war (or maybe 2) I think you'll survive reddit too :D -Charles Manson mad dogging you - cancer edition -You have been roasted enough to get rid of your cancer Sir!! Good job and bless you!! -Only 69? -"Holy shit, you survived? Couldn't tell." -Are you certain you survived? -"Cancer survivor, now wrinkle collector." -Hey nice job on hand carving Pinocchio -After your death your wife will say atleast I will be able to see you get hard atleast once in a lifetime -"Survivor, that's more than can be said for his victims." -Why roast you when cancer couldn’t even deal with you? You will probably bore it to death. -Cancer usually makes people bald but it took a break cus you were half way there -You are so ugly concer survived you -Smokie and the bum bandit -This guy watches little girls get off the bus for sure -Are... are you sure you survived? -Tales from the crypt -Tried new experimental electric shock treatment. Cancer gone. But forever destined to look like the guy from The Great Outdoors who gets fried by lightning repeatedly. -Glad to see chemo didn’t take all of your hair -"Hey Dale, I hated it when that Walker tore your guts out in Walking Dead.." -Stop stealing my catalytic converters -Survived cancer but a cold winter is going to finish you -Hahah 69... nice -You look like Barry chuckle crossed with the opioid epidemic -You look like you have a van filled with sweets that you try & lure them in with. -"Statistically speaking, it’ll all be over for you soon, so you can smile about that" -Even cancer didn't want to be in you... -I lost my damn teeth again 🦷 -You look like a shaved Owl. -You survived but none of the women you’ve ever met did. -"You didn't beat cancer, let's call it a draw..." -"you smell like raw garlic, through the phone i caught that one" -survived cancer and the trailer park -I’ll bite! They exhumed you huh? -If you’ve got radiation then you’ve already roasted yourself -"You look like you should be shouting at passerbys outside a convenience store. Congrats on beating cancer, though." -I'm glad you survived cancer -You're just trying to show off your tooth aren't you -Are you SURE you survived? -"oh, survivor word gonna be gone soon" -Not sure this guy knows what roast me means. Probably wondering why everyone is being mean 😂😂 -"Judging by your face, I'm afraid to see you smile. I don't think that picture could ever be erased" -Wilson has aged terribly -"You went to the doctor thinking you had arthritis. Doctor told you, you had early onset rigor mortis" -Woah I think I saw you asking for change at the stop light -You want me to hold the phone farther away for you? -Angel Of Death: 🤮 Can’t take that smell. -You look like one of the chuckle brothers… the deceased one. -Cancer take your top lip ? -Uncle Si? It's been so long! -Are you sure? -You look like you got cancer from making meth in your basement -"Dumbo! Cmon, fly!! Open them ears! The magic feather was just a gag! , you can fly! Hey, open’em up! Hurryyyyyyy!" -Great Scott! Is that Doc brown? -You look like the guy who made Pinocchio. -Reanimator sequel -Looks like he sleeps in a slow cooker. -"You’re so skinny, I’m afraid any roasting will turn you to ash." -mf looks like intoxicated Einstein -"It annoys me that your lights behind you are not aligned , other than that your a hero so idk treat yourself to some Lego" -"Nothing to roast my guy, congrats on surviving cancer ❤️❤️ roast some potatoes instead 👍👍👍" -The only patient to insist on taking chemo rectally. -You already look like you got roasted -"Not worth a roast. You done good sir, appreciate your win." -Did the cancer leave you looking like you did too much meth? -I refuse to roast you -You look like the guy who tells all his friends how he was a Vietnam war veteran when in reality you are actually a homeless dude who lies through his ass -Y’know how many your age are over the hill? Well you’re over the mountain. -You look like the cancer won two months ago. -You’re an inspiration to the world. You fought and beat cancer….That should be all the smiling you need sir. Have a great day brother. -"You look like every guy I’ve seen holding a sign either about how the earth is flat, aliens live among us or something about saving Jesus." -I don't think we wanna see that. -Great job whipping cancer! Now you can go back and focus on losing your virginity. -Mad Miles Jr (Pit Fighter) -Dude is so ugly even cancer doesn't want to stay with him. -You’re my boy Blue! -Charmin finally let Mr. Whipple retire. -You look like you survived petrification -Get back demon! -Nah man life roasted you ! -This guy totally sneaks into backyards and sticks his pecker in their jacuzzi jet holes. -Looks like Hitler’s cousin. -you dont look a day over 187. -"Thank god you survived cancer, you should pay it forward by releasing those women you have locked in the shipping container buried on your property" -You look like a trucker who kidnaps women on the highway. -Go back to six flags -"Let's just call it a draw, instead of you beating cancer" -looks mike you’re roasted enough from the chemo -Was it eyebrow cancer because those caterpillars are atrocious. -Too much fentanyl. -"I keep hearing, ""hey, hey man, I really need some money for food, I haven't eaten in days man...well, can you at least spare a smoke,"" outside of my local liquor store." -"You look like the abused malted bird down at the shelter. - -Congratulations on surviving though." -Looks like the main character of the new pixar movie DOWN. -Trevor from temu -Giving Mister Peepers vibes. -You look like turtle taken out of its shell -You probably deserve cancer for what you did to those people in Nam. -You don't look like you survived... 🤔 -So you survived tooth cancer? Guess they had to remove them all. -Don't you own the Colts? -"You have a Delorean in the garage, am I right? Next to the cadavers." -You look like you live in the wild chasing squirrels for food -"Thank God your stopped proliferating, this is more than enough you." -You're gaze is so uncomfortable even your pizza rolls want to get a restraining order when you're staring at them in the microwave like that -"I think you gave the cancer the good, old-fashioned willies and scared it off! Congratulations stay strong !" -Hmm.. I think it’s at least a draw on the cancer thing. -The old man from toy story 2 who restores woody -im not gonna roast u lol but i hope u have an awesome day bro -"Looks like a tie to me. - - -(Seriously, congrats on beating cancer)" -You look like an unwanted testicle. -Where in the farm fresh fuck have I seen your face before -"Congratulations on beating that monster. I have no roast, I'm just glad you'll be seeing another Thanksgiving with all of us. My mother is currently fighting cancer, so I love seeing survivors and victors/champions over this monster. - -I hope you enjoy your weekend." -Jeffery epstien just escaped from his grave -Cancer must of had a bad day to let you escape... -"If they don’t find you handsome, at least they’ll find you handy." -Why are we here? The radiation already roasted you. -"Not going to make you smile. The way you look, there's no telling what's behind those lips." -"Sir, this is the afterlife version of reddit. You didn't survive." -Looks like he survived meth too -"Mate, I don't think reconstructive surgery could make that face smile." -"Holy shit you’re only 69! - -And no roast here will come close to the cremation you are due for in the next 6 months. You look like death itself" -Can you send us some pictures with your face in them? These pictures are disgusting! -Did you have gizzard cancer? -"The chemo already roasted you hard enough, babe." -You look like you squeeze a lot of Charmin -"Bill Macy, Bea Arthur is dead." -You might be a cancer survivor but you still have to respond for that Sharon Tate thing… -"That's sad what cancer do to people, you looked so much better in 'tales from the crypt' ..." -Looks like cancer got the best of you. -Didn't know they treat cancer with electroshock therapy. -Literally disproving survival of the fittest -Cancer didn't survive you -"It was a canker, not cancer you simple prick! Learn to read. - - - - - ->!(seriously though, I am happy for you)!<" -Your glasses are so red I would confuse them for little loops of red licorice -They took our jerbs! -Why do I feel like 2 feet to the left there's a hoard in that house.... -I'd roast you but seeing what they did to you at Auschwitz it seems you've survived enough already. -"Looking young, Grandpa! You must have a portrait aging somewhere in the attic, because it sure isn’t you!" -Did your brother make a time machine out of a DeLorean? -"I don't think you roast dehydrated items, Mr. Raisin." -I don't want to he looks too innocent and been through a lot have a good day 😔 -I don't tink you survived cancer as much as cancer didn't survive you -His online dating is carbon dating. -"3rd guy in line at soup kitchen had someone write him a song..,,good for them" -I would say you like a very sweet old janitor if you weren't clearly a child sex offender -borrow some teeth u never no u might smile -Promise if I make you smile your teeth won't fall off? -You look like a freshly hatched bird. -Grandpa Munster after a bender -"""Someone needs to feed you some wet lettuce and put you in a box for the winter."" Congratulations on beating the beast, I wish you good health and the longevity of the galapagus turtle I compared you to. All the best my friend." -Cancer sucks!!!! Do you? How about a gum job? -You look like a deceased turtle that has been lying in the sun on the side of the road for a while -I won’t make a cancer smile -"Sorry to be the guy to tell you this, but you actually didn’t survive. Welcome to hell!" -Your very beautiful -How do you define “survive”? Maybe you should have given up? - Half of your jaw is inside your neck -This guy puts the emo in chemo. -The third chuckle brother. 😂 Atleast you didn't end up like Barry though. Oh dear oh dear. -Is the hairline from chemotherapy?  -Whatever we do won’t be near as good as what the chemo did -"Yes I Can, Sir!" -“Survivor” is a stretch. -Robert Englund??? -"after dividing a few times in that reanimated corpse of a body, it looks like your cancer got cancer." -I bet you got arrested for assault after you beat cancer -Is that old man Jenkins? -was it face cancer? -"Surviver feels like a stretch. - -I bet you pushed a little kid out of the way to get that chemo, you monster. - -Spending your kids inheritance on living longer, stingy ass!" -"Honestly bro, great job. Fuck cancer. And your hairline, but mostly cancer." -You're my boy Blue!! -"""Cancer?"" Is that what you were faking all these years while mooching off Charlie and his poor mother, until your miraculous recovery at the sight of a Golden Ticket?" -I feel sorry for the cancer that had to deal with you -By the looks of it cancer left you for the mail man -"Well good thing is you are ready for Halloween, being nothing but skin and bones" -Too make you smile I would have to sew your moustache to the top of your ears. -you survived cancer cuz neither heaven nor hell wants to look at that ugly mug -You look like you saw a leprechaun once and stopped talking about it after it ruined more than one Thanksgiving. -"I would roast you, but the chemo already did a pretty good job." -Make you smile? I’ll make you laugh. Look at your dick. -Hitler beat us to it. -you look like you'd be a fun dad/grandpa. not even gonna roast. hope you're having a great day!!! congrats on beating cancer. -Real life Old Man Herbert from Family Guy. Lots of popsicles in the cellar. -"Cancer survivor, huh? Looking at you, I'd call it a Pyrrhic victory." -You look like the Cancer won -you look easy to draw -"You look like you ask me for illegal substances -(Congrats on beating cancer!!)" -You seem very alert -After all these years - we finally see Vern!!! -How do you look old and like a baby bird at the same time ... -Nice! another way to use drugs for the rest of your remaining days! You are cool guy. -You might’ve survived cancer but looks like the meth is winning -I thought grampa from the Munsters died years ago -"I’m not gonna roast you. I’m sending you love. Like the rest of the sadistic people in this group, I don’t get off and tearing people down." -"I hope you live a long, fun life. - -We're all scared of cancer, and hopefully, we can beat it like you did." -You look like a midwestern tweaked out Popeye -Hey man glad you survived my grandma died from it. Wish I knew her better -Dude says 69 face says 70. -You’re all scumbags. -You sure you survived? -If your turn your camera upside down he’s actually smiling 🙂 -You look like meth’s best friend. “Mom can we keep him? We’re gonna call him air-biscuits” -I don’t think you survived the cancer. Looks like you died 4 months ago -"Surviving Cancer is 69...Cancer eating you, you ate cancer" -"You're so similar in appearance to my father that you could be his brother, if he had lived to be your age. Congrats on winning your fight." -Looks like chemo already did roast you -"Holy shit this man beat cancer and then decided to post something here? That's kind a funny tho not gonna lie😂 the age is funny too but I'm sure he won't be able to do ""this"" ever again" -"Budwieser, Marlboro Reds, cane pole fishing, and solitare Saturdays can put a toll on ya for sure." -"Now we know what would win, between Cancer and Meth" -Looking at the camera like he’s 7 again at the Turkish baths with his Grandpa!! -Cooking meth in the basement -Lost the cancer but kept the aesthetic. -Bill nye the cancer guy -"With your looks, I bet you scared the shit out of cancer! Congrats!" -Challenge to make you smile considering you look like a guy who can’t remember where he put his teeth -"Seriously, I think you need a second opinion...." -"Everybody says 69 is great, but after seeing this I'm not so sure." -"Bro, you mistyped 96." -Cancer couldn't tolerate your body any more than women can  -You look like you’ve survived a nuclear war -Survivor? Are you sure? -The only thing that makes you smile is the reason you're on a register list which means you can't go near schools or parks. -Even cancer doesn’t want you? -"Bro, got any teeth?" -"Man so old he owes Jesus 5 bucks - -Lost his virginity during the prohibition, it was quite dry - -You look like you call the cops the fuzz & flatfoot" -The cancer went to the doctor and found out it had stage 4 you -I hear you just paid off your student loan. Your diagnoses of arthritis was wrong. Your doctor called and said it's early onset rigor mortis. -Why didn't you tell Marty he's gonna have parkinson's?! What an asshole -"I'm asking the American Cancer Society for my money back. -You look practiced at holding a name placard in front of you for mug shots. -So this is what Harry Potter looked like after giving Ginny Hogwarts." -"You’re like 85 years old, how do you know what Reddit even is?" -Your eyes look like you just saw the light for the first time 😅 -Freddy Kruger tar tar! -Did you really survive? That body appears dead -"At least cancer helped you lose a little weight, you were looking kind of chunky when you filmed UP." -comment -"""She's mature for her age"" is not a solid defense, just FYI" -You look like you can’t read without keeping your finger under the words either. -Foo put “roast me” on the back of his court papers. -Twink 182. -You look like a Waffle House “line cook” -You also ride with a closed grip butthole on a seatless bicycle -When your dealer keeps a low profile by also working as a clown. -You look like you wait outside a highschool for your girlfriend -You look like your retirement fund is in Marlboro Miles. -I wonder what he did to the little boy he stole that bike from ? -If “Flunked Drug Test” had a face. 🚀 -"How ironic.. your nickname in the shower room in prison was also ""closed grip fist""" -“Ma said if I sell enough meth she’ll get me the big boy bike” -"All that ink, and yet can't afford any child support." -You look like you have multiple felonies for aggravated bicycle seat sniffing. -Beastiality Boys -“The foster system told me I could became anything so I became white trash” -"Spends all his money on tattoos, cant afford a lawn mower. But that's okay, lots of children grow up in South Carolina playing in the weeds." -He's riding his only means of transportation. He beat up some junior high kid for it. -You look like a power bottom -"You look like you'd crash a kid's birthday party, crush his Capri Sun and steal his BMX and ride home to your mom's basement to smoke weed and play X-box." -Guess your Ed Hardy collection is at the dry cleaners? -"Jesus dude, you look like the stereotypical tweaker that lives in the high desert trailer parks. All those awful tattoos map a life of smoking glass pipes and wearing handcuffs." -"You look like someone who could be hired to speak to teenagers about the dangers of being a Juggalo. - -You have definitely had gross sex with a fat chick in a porta-john at a Kid Rock concert." -"Got my Little Tykes picnic table, my Kool Aid Jammers juicy pack, a carton of Marlboro reds, and my emotionally abusive foster mom is picking me up at three so I can make it to the probation office on time. Don’t hate the Playuh, Dawg. 🚀" -"Next stop, a meeting with Chris Hansen" -There’s no seat in that bike….and you like bumpy roads -"I am not American but watched many horror movies of yours. You look like the middle aged hillbilly dude in the opening of one those movies who spits tobacco and points to the gas station to a collage group in a minivan, sending them to your inbred relatives to be butchered." -Like someone vajazzled a rat. -That puzzled look tells me someone just explained to you that you can’t just be ”gay in while you’re in prison.” -Opie Trailer Trash. -Avoiding people like you is the reason people buy in an HOA. -see the importance of one missing chromosome? -I bet if you stood up that bike would too. -You better never let Joe Exotic see you or you’re getting married. -That thing on your leg is probably the only pus you get -How’s all those child support payments going? -Calling us pussies while drinknig koolaid at a kids table -You made yourself look like Bieber so you can get some love off Diddy. -Second DUI. Third stolen bike. -You ever noticed kids don't ride bikes anymore? It's just tweekers and crackheads. -"How tf do you look old and overweight at 28years old, 5’8”, and 170lbs?" -This is the exact reason abortions needs to be allowed -Nothing says ‘Productive Member of Society’ like a grown adult on a BMX bike -Mow your fucking lawn -You look like the “bad kid” in a 90’s Nickelodeon show that grew up and put on his outfit from the show to take pictures with fans. -The 5th member of Hoobastank. -I bet you jerk off your teenage tattoo artist with a closed grip fist too -If crack was wintergreen flavored you'd smoke it. -You look like someone who has never heard of the metric system -"If a trailer park and a lung cancer had a premature baby, it would still look better than you" -Has little man insecurities but appreciates being the same height as his partner’s waist to give premium blowjobs. -You look like a dangerous barista -"You look like you have a stash of old hustler magazines in an abandoned tree house that you go and jerk off to after you chase away the wild life and you get off knowing theres a perverted squirrel watching you - - -And youre short." -This is a background character from the king of staten island -"Hey Buddy, I don't know what's more annoying - your constant need to wear those tacky gay shorts or your desperate attempt to hide your true sexuality." -Brave of you to show up in a playground… I’m sure that’s an immediate VOP -The gringo in a Spanish community -"Let me guess. - -Your license is suspended over missed child support payments, so now you have to ride your kid’s bike." -Great value Mexican foo -You look like the kinda guy that would spend $10k on Zyn’s to get a couple hundred dollar Traeger for “free”. -blud is so high he cant even open his eyes 😭 -There's a dildo installed in place of the seat -"“Of course I don’t wear pants or sleeves. It’s so I can so off how original I am. I am mommy’s special boy, after all!”" -Starring in the new upcoming Discovery Channel reality TV show: In My Mother's Basement -Your knees look like you suck dick for bus fare -Crust punk cum dump -How much copper have you ripped out of walls in a single day? -If Dollar Store was a person. -Nothing says success like a tatted up adult on a kids bike. -"If your mom, sister, cousin and your wife were to die in a car crash, you would still need only one coffin..." -Domestic Violence Ken -I can tell just by looking at you that you’re hung like a doorknob -I see you put r/Roastme on the back of your recent court documents. Hope that goes well for you. -Dude can't decide if he is against immigrants or if he is an immigrant -"If life was tennis, you’d suck at tennis." -You look like if Mike Miller never played basketball and sold cigarettes and lame weed to teenagers -You look like Hunter Biden an hour before he met his first crack dealer back in the day. -Anders Holmo-wick -"Looks like jelly rolls shittier brother, tp roll. Selling loose cigarettes and demo tapes for trumps go fund me so you can stay in the trailer park" -Heeeyyyy kids!!! I’ve got kool-aid jammers!!!! -28 going on 45. -"You look like you say “So you 17 17, or 17 about to be 18?” a lot" -"If you were a cologne, it would be called ""Chmo""" -Did you just get back from stealing a car stereo on that bike? -Looks like jigsaw molested Billy the Puppet -"I never knew what -Bawitdaba, da-bang, da-bang, diggy-diggy-diggy -Said the boogie, said up drop the boogie -Bawitdaba, da-bang, da-bang, diggy-diggy-diggy -Said the boogie, said up jump the boogie, -Meant until today." -“My baby mama keeps my kid from me” -If straight pride month was a person -Ur neighbors can’t wait for the meth explosion 💥 -no ragrets -Nice bike. How many DUIs? -"This your 11th time in 12th grade? Run out of desk space for your doodles so you got tattoos instead - -Time to quit playing Edward 40 hands and graduate, bud" -"When you die, you’re gonna turn into that demon that terrorizes people just cause you think it’s funny" -I bet you look at breaking bad like it’s the educational channel -Jesse Pinkman if he actually got high on the merch. -"Prison Break, trailertrash paedophile edition. -When all you can afford is a kids toy as getaway wheels" -574 comments. But you still didn’t break 100 upvotes. For shame. Nobody likes you😕 -"Was paid to mow these folks grass, but slept with their 17 year old daughter instead." -Fuck I hate carnies... -Your friends have a group chat without you. -Straight outta Trailer Park Boys -There is no seat on that bike -Duval or Polk County? You’re definitely resembling a r/floridaman -"Look like you recently lost your job at Wendy’s where you act like dropping a fry basket is equivalent to launching an exploratory satellite, since you were once again 15 minutes late for your shift because you lost track of time hanging out on a drum set at Guitar Center telling a 16 year old girl about the time your Say Anything cover band came in 3rd at your 10th grade Battle of the Bands" -These transgenders are getting ballsy… -"He's used to having a closed fist, as that's what he puts up his ass every night." -"Gummo part 2, in theaters near you…" -"👆If Elon Musk was bike stealing, broke redneck with a porn 'stache. - -Looks like the saddle is hitting your prostate. Holistically, it's like a modern art installation in tribute to gay porn." -the ambassador of disappointment -What in the Meth -"Judging by the amount of money you throw away on tatts and smokes, you must have a pretty successful paper route. I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!" -"Kool-Aid Jammers … for when you’re too poor to afford Capri Sun, but those kids ain’t gonna groom themselves." -“Do your worst pussies.” Someone did. Here you are. -You guys remember Cookie Monster pants hot Cheeto girl from high school? This is her babydaddy. -"You peaked at 16 and will take it out on your children. Also, nice mustache did you find it on Grindr?" -"Your face screams “I don’t mind chicks with kids, I know they put out”" -"Spent so much money on tattoos he wasn’t able to afford a car, new shoes or even a real Portland Trail Blazers jersey…" -"Dude looks like he’s about to get a DUI riding a bike. But what does he know, he cant read nor understand the laws" -Still gets detained by the cops so they can contact the local high school for skipping class. -“Can’t get a DUI on a bike!” *gets DUI on a bike* -I'll bet your feet don't even touch the ground when you sit at that little picnic table. -Hispanic k-fed -Did you lose your license from a dui or a oui -Ah the classic 3+ DUIs bike. -Walmart version of “Uncle Rico”. -You'd call a 170lb woman too fat for you -Damn! Even Chuck Liddell on hard times now -Tell me you're from Florida without telling me you're from Florida -Why can’t I make Reddit stop showing me this stupid fucking subreddit -"Your mustache looks like it's about to arrest the rest of you. - -Worst undercover cop ever. - -Reno 911 lookin' ass." -"Still gotcher bike, huh?" -Your lawn speaks enough about you -You only date girls that are tops -Sweet bike. The chick's must love it -"Forrest Gump made the phrase ""Momma says Stupid is as Stupid does"" famous. Your Momma was the first to ever say it." -"Answer: In prison,supposed to be wearing bifocals,crayons and someone else who's parents are related. Question: Where and who the fuck did those kindergarten ass dumb fuck tatoos on your gross meth soaked pile of shit you call a body." -Got Meth -"Next time, before you do squats..." -I’d smoke cigarettes too if I was 5’8 -You look like a diablo sammich with a doctor pepper. -GET A JOB U LOSER -You look like you’re from Cincinnati. -"Instead of sitting on that bike, why don't you sit on my dick and pedal my balls?" -This is stewie when he focuses on fitness instead of drugs -You're the bastard son Uncle Rico didn't know he had -I’ll bet that bike has no seat -You should start paying for your tattoos -"PSA; tattoos are forever, but self immolation is more forever." -Small hat -Your tinder profile is trash homie. Unfiltered cigarettes are not a hobby. -Yeah yeah whatever man just make sure my burger doesn’t have cheese on it. -Was that English? -I think you should be proud! Did your parents buy you that nice bike for graduating to grade 5? 👍🎓 -"You know you buy bigger bikes as you get taller, not as your D changes right? :-P - -Sorry I couldn't resist. Have a great day :)" -I feel like you can ruin my life in new ways -You look like a guy who brings ghb to festivals and starts fights in moshpits. -“Bro im good for it. Its just a g.” -At least he can dodge the draft with no issue -"""do our worst""??? Your parents far exceeded any worst reddit could do when they blasted dads sperm on a rotten egg." -You look like you were born in upper middle class but talk about being poor because mommy and daddy cut you off. -"What do me and your lawn have in common? - -We both wish we could cut ourselves after seeing this" -"Jeez, this guy again. Have you bought a seat for that bike yet or still riding it rough trying to get rid of that taint tatoo?" -If coors light monster energy and Newports was a person with a sprinkle of crystal -No matter how long you pretend to be eight years old your dad still isn’t coming back from getting smokes. And he definitely left because of you. -Perpetually a high schooler.  -You look like you work security for a petting zoo -I think even cops would tell you to pick a better undercover outfit. -"Forgot leg day, And arm, and chest, and personality" -28 going for 40 -"If you could find it in your heart to just put down the meth pipe and pick up a lawnmower instead, your neighbors would appreciate it. Also your shins wouldn't be getting slapped when you bomb through your yard on a stolen BMX bike. Maybe use your meth money to invest in a vehicle.(after you get your drivers license)" -I’m guessing your mommy makes your lunch. -Uncle Rico if he was stuck in 2002 instead of 1982... -You the type of guy to name your sons after you to make it easier to steal their identities -You look like the type of guy who sells shitty weed and is responsible for repeated outbreaks of chlamydia. -Do you ever go to parties with people who are not in high school? -"You’re like a software update—no one really wants you, everyone tries to avoid you, and when you finally show up, you somehow manage to mess up everything that was working just fine. If we were to personify a buffering YouTube video, it would look just like you—annoying, unreliable, and always stopping at the worst possible moments. Not only that but You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy—always present but never actually contributing anything worthwhile. If your life were a movie, it would go straight to DVD and only be sold in the bargain bin. Your IQ is so low, even a brick wall has more engaging conversations. It’s impressive how you manage to be both completely forgettable and incredibly annoying at the same time—like a mosquito bite that just won’t stop itching." -"It’s so awkward for me to roast people, and I really don’t think I can beat any of these but until I get used to it, here is my best: you look silly." -“I’ll take the entire flash sheet please” -"Cletus, you missed out 'spit' on your sign" -"Bad enough you stole the kid's bike, did you have to steal his clothes too?" -Only 12 more catalytic converters and I can upgrade to a moped -How the fuck does this guy look 19 and 43 at the same time -The stache should pair well with the panel van -Minor attracted or minor possession can’t tell which? -You look like you were fed warm beer instead of breastmilk -You got out of jail just in time for your 20 year elementary school reunion. -Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles -When it’s your 20th time repeating 5th grade -You look like the kinda guy that would steal my lighter then spend half the day helping me look for it. -Your drug screen results come in an alphabetized binder. -You look low on that bike because you prefer it without the seat on. -comment -You look ai generated -Would’ve never guessed the Asian part thanks captain obvious -You stole your brothers haircut -Confucious say: Girl who cut her own hair has idiot for stylist. -Instead of roasting how about we use a wok? -I bet it sounds like a dogs chew toy when you orgasm -She plays video games in a hello kitty costume while eating noodles -I've seen realdolls with more life and joy in their faces than yours. -I swear these Asians and their fetish robots. What does this one do? -You look like a Japanese sex doll with a few miles on it -That's a handsome 13 year old boy -Michael Jackson wants his nose back -She dresses up as anime characters and eats raw fish -Do you do those makeup tutorial tiktoks where you change from a Lovecraftian space beetle to expensive sex doll using a gallon of skin whitener and scotch tape? -"Your face is so stereotyped that I can guess your nationality,job,food and mental disorders just looking at your eyes" -You look like a white person that had cosmetic surgery to look more asian -"Would roast, but I only roast real people. You posted a doll" -"You look like you texted me ""by mistake"" and want to involve me in crypto trading" -Why bother when they make perfectly good atomic bombs to do it? -I think I understand the devastatingly low birth rates in Asia now. -Her o/f name is AsianSweets -One of those new Japanese sex robots? You almost look human. -Your white man is in another reddit thread -"It's hard to tell you from the 450,000 others who went to the same South Korean plastic surgeon." -"I heard Asians are crazy rich. I hope that’s true, because it’s gonna be about two hundred dollars to Uber from one eye to the other." -Look like you crawled out of my tv -"Wait a minute, you’re Asian? I’m glad you told us." -You only date the White guys that White women rejected. -"She'll do literally anything for attention, including the laundry." -Your skin and eye surgery says North Asian but your lips say South Asian. Sooner or later you will have to pick a side or it’s straight to jail. -You look like a frog with a human nose -Blink twice if you can show human emotions -I’d say your looks are general tso tso -"Hell nah this ain’t Ada Wong, that’s Ada Wrong💀" -Asian? Are you sure? -Temu Waifu -No thanks our forefathers roasted enough of yall in 1945 -I remember when the ladyboy industry was more convincing. -You look like one of those realistic sex dolls from the reject pile. -Anyone want to split this roast? -i cant tell of your asian or if your face is just swolen -the age of dumb asian is upon us... brace for impact! -You look like herpes has you -"You look like you sleep in your bed like a inverted fraction with yo feet on the pillow , u prop your pillow up against the wall so you don’t wake up with a crook neck" -Sex with you would sound like cracking Wooden chopsticks -you look like an actress from those extravagant porn videos -"Thank god you wrote F, pretty hard to tell without the information." -I’d do it boys. I’d do it. -Where’s your 60 year old American husband? -"Thank God you wrote ASIAN on the title, OP. We would never have come to this conclusion. - -Ffs, talk about stating the obvious." -Could be AI. Could be lady boy. Could be both -I would roast you but I have a dog in the oven -If stevie wonder drew hentai.... -"Get some more plastic surgery done, you condom head. Michael Jackson ass nose looking, wide eyed surgery, greasy haired noodle bar waitress." -Me never love you any time -"Another failed onlywhores ""model"" comes here after no one signs up." -That's the face of a woman who's been passed around a military barracks on a Tuesday night. Not good enough for Friday night though. -What’s your handle on your onlychins account? “YellowBugEye” -Is that the national haircut? -"Nothing screams ""Empty vessel"" more than this." -Your nose bridge is so big people use it to commute. -Photoshop -Somebody used a jungle machete to cut this poor little Filipino boy's bangs -Yes ur Asian but what kind. . . Cool asian or school asian -"I’m sorry to everyone if this is too much but here goes! - -I’m not sure if I should feel sorry for your parents or not, but they probably drowned three girls to finally get a boy that wants to be a girl." -I think you meant to type 8=D Asian -Girl look like she bout to do those anime cringe words and act like a maid while in front of some kids while in the most female moan 💀💀 -F20? You could put M20 and no one would even question you. You bring new meaning to the word ambiguous. -You look like you couldn’t decide which Asian country you hail from … so just … Asian -Is that a herp on your upper lip or your tooth playing peekaboo -Looks more fake than stuff made in China -Somehow has bulging asian eyes. -Even the Asian fetishists don't want you. -You all really do look alike. I just saw your brother Chen at the corner store. -"Met you in Thailand about six years ago,, you were 20 then and the only English you knew, “all three hole, jus thirty dollah”." -"You look like a 12 year old uwu anime boy  - -Also the photoshop looks like it  was done by a blind rat" -"Better let those who are thirsting in.... bruh, it's a 👨" -Costco hinata -"You: ""Me love you long time"" - -Everyone: ""No thanks""" -I've reported at least 20 of your profiles on facebook for AI generated spam. -How does it feel to be the face on a thousand weebs pillowcases? -Did you use your noodle bowl for those bangs? -Wow you’re unroastable. -YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF -Korean boys can be very androgenous !! -That's a Lady boy 🤣 -Did you cut your hair with a weedeater? -What kind of bowl do you own -Someone remember to link this post next week when shes here again because she started selling feet pics -"This isn't 1945 anymore, so we don't roast Asians." -"Girl so insecure won’t upload a picture without makeup, photoshop and all that." -バカにする -"If I googled ""generic Asian AI generated face"" it would still have more defining features then you do..." -So generic the best possible roast is a downvote -U MAKE EGG ROLL -Your body is as boyish as your hair. -Lucy Eww -Downie -Get out of the left lane you stupid Asian bitch 🎶🎵I don’t even know why are there🎶🎵🎵 -You are the definition of “plain”. -Did your dad cut your fringe whilst he was railing you? -The lovechild of Lucy Liu and earthworm Jim.. -20 I feel dirty just looking at your post. -You look like you're a background character in your own story -You look like you give people chlamydia when you peepee in their coke. -Looks like you chose the default Asian skin in Fallout 4 -Abe chutiye tujhe aski chakka bane ko nahi bola tha -Your hair looks like when a 3 year old finds the scissors and cuts their own hair -Femboy with face filters -I used to have yellow fever. I'm absolutely sure I'm cured. -"Me no luv you long time, your face is no fine" -You look like the daughter your dad didn’t want -Putting the “oh no” in yoko ono -You’re banned from every DMV in the country. -You look like the girl that dies in squid game playing marbles. -"I'm a shanghai girl in a dystopian wooorld -Made of plastic, it's so fantastic" -"Waifu uses the spare semen for skincare, adds a nice shine after you’re done being used" -"I don't think you understand the format of this sub. You're supposed to post pictures of you, not billions of other people." -I hope they tossed that bowl into the bin after that haircut -Your nipples weren’t installed correctly. L -> R. R -> L. -Mom i want Asian girl. We got Asian girl in Home. asian girl in home: -You look like the Pinterest jelly art style. -You should be good at math but you are not. -20 and got sandbags under those eyes like you're 40. -More issues than Time magazine -I opened a fortune cookie and it’s a note from your mother saying stop seeking attention here -Ladyboy says what -"You have exophthalmos, or bulging eyes. It's most likely due to the thyroid condition you got from all radiation after Fukushima" -Herro there! -"How much did the surgery cost you? -- no no not your tits -- No No not your lips -- NO NO not your nose - -YES, yes your eyes that one how much did it cost you?" -You look like your parents were okay with you getting B's in school. -u/bot-sleuth-bot -When you order your sex doll from Wish! -JAV actress. -"Mongols are asian, you're a mongoloid, it doesn't make you asian." -this one does not spark joy -Your bio is “Asian”? phew! Now that we have some material to work with… -You’ve got that typical Asian plastic surgery look -Did your hairdresser use a chainsaw to cut your bangs? -I am now convinced that all Salmon are Asian. -There's a reason why there only is 1 picture -"Bro, that's a dude." -You like the mr. Burns alien from that the simpsons -Big eyed in wrong made -You should cosplay not a whore sometime. -What does a happy ending massage go for? -You're the free trial at the massage house -Asian and F2P fixed that for you 😌 -"To echo many of your previous comment boards, wow, such empty." -You’ve got BBDE: Big Blowup Doll Energy -"Asian **and** female? - -These used to be *challenging*." -When you look like this and feel you have to point out you're Asian.... no further roasting needed. -Stfu sushi machine -Temu sex doll. -"For fuck sake I don't care if you did ""accidently"" text me I'm not going to ""do the needful and kindly buy some bitcoin""" -before you steal your man’s hoodie you leave the torso inside -"oh, her eyes are opened! 😳" -That shirt does the roasting for us. -you remind me of my first girlfriend. Asian Fuck Doll -I can tell that you already disappointed your father -When the latex sex doll goes on clearance. -"Fuck you,you are pretty" -I bet you have a sideways vagina that says made in Taiwan. -You’re bangs looks like a barcode for egg rolls -You look Oriental af -Reports coming in that North Korean Soldiers who were on the Russian front line have now gone back to censored Internet in Pyongyang after discovering 'disgusting and very disturbing porn'. Turns out it was just OP naked -"“Asian” = Mom is Japanese, dad is a huge question mark…" -"If you hadn't said F20 and maybe the haircut, you'd be a twink." -Dating game must be harsh when your twenty but look twelve -"She’s not a hooker, she’s a “massage therapist”" -This is actually Olive Oyl using an Asian filter  -Grow your hair longer. You look too Anime. -You look like can can’t stop crying and being emotional about mild misunderstandings. Also because no one will ever take you seriously. -"Oh look, another 'cosplayer' looking to market on this sub." -It looks like it was created by AI. Damn these Asians look really incredible -Sex dolls are posting on reddit now? So lifelike... -"You look like the kind of person who apologises to furniture when you bump into it. No, sweetie, *they* feel bad for *you*." -I won’t but could I f u -No amount of precise lipstick work is gonna make you look less like your lips aren't fucking gargantuan. -You're pretty great on that Expedia line dancing commercial -You were going for Blackpink but your mouth is going for blackdick. -You look like you call anyone who disagrees with you a lacist -"Well, I don't think anyone would have guessed you are asian." -What go go bar did you crawl out of -You’re a genetically modified horrific driver. Take Uber -This isn't a 90 day fiancé audition subreddit. -She looks like the Barbie theblittle white girl didn't like so she gave her a shit haircut -"Nice try, that's not how an F20 fighter jet look like, even if it's Asian." -If fake was a person: -first result when you search ladyboy on orange youtube -"You look like you got gum stuck in your hair and cut it out then attempted to try to ""fix"" it with toddler scissors." -she is looking like a baby girl and she said Mom is ready not her Mom -Is this sex doll the one sold on Temu ? -"I bet you have a tail in there, woof woof" -Beautiful -Stop letting your mom use a bowl and get a real haircut -Nice Lego helmet -You are the reason Asia should have a zero child policy -👁️👄👁️ -Your lips look like undercooked sausages -"Are your children going to work in a sweat shop too - -So yellow I scrolled down and thought the sun was rising" -I didn’t think Kim jong un had the helmet on his list of haircuts that are allowed. -You look like a preset in a custom character menu. -I've seen this guy before -D-sian -Glad you put Asian in the bio to clear up any confusion -It's funny because this is one of those posts where we needed the gender confirmation. -Nose and kneecaps stick out further than the titties. -"Wow, I didn’t know asian sex dolls had advanced enough to post on reddit" -You look like a Weeb's ideal sexbot. -"Haven’t I seen you some where? Oh Asian porn, that’s it" -"Let me guess, you sound like a guinea pig when... Y'all know." -sailor moon live -Why do yall look the same like this is the typical scamming profile picture that friend requests white men about crypto -"In an ironic twist of events, she actually has a sweaty middle aged man fetish" -Little boy get off Reddit and go do your homework -"Well, there is goes my Asian girl kink... Thanks. - -Supposing you are actually Female of course. Or an actual human, with those dead eyes l cant really tell if you are a badly manufactured rejected sex doll." -All the other lady boys must be jealous -I swear I’ve seen 20 different women that look like you -Moe from the Three Stooges remains a Chinese hair icon almost a century later -Can you still get a refund? -Rough night at the poultry factory! -"You’re like the anime character who says, “I’m different” while hoarding enough plushies to rival a toy store and wearing a Blue Archive shirt that’s seen more ramen stains than human interaction. If collecting merch were a superpower, you’d be saving the world—one limited-edition keychain at a time." -it’s like copy paste -You have Lego hair -"Possibly illegal due to your age, or you could be 50" -Definitely a menhera... -Temu Chaewon -Roast duck or pork? -Which way are you transitioning?? -Was M19 -Anyone smell rotten sushi? -"You mean ""loasht me""" -Hi robot -I hate commenting on these but the account is 8days old and an obvious AI generated image. Look at the paper they’re holding. The folds and tears are a giveaway. Remind me in one week if this post hasn’t been banned by then. -Standing next to a single lit candle would be enough to roast them. -I don’t need to roast u god already roasted u -You must be virgin I pay extra -I’d be more surprised if you had a vagina  -Nope not falling for it again there femboy -Future Happy Ending Massage Therapist 😂 -"Oh I’ve seen this one, isn’t it where you remove the makeup and theres a balding little asian man with no teeth and a history of suspicious activity around children?" -Ahh if it isn't the girl from IPPA-001544 -"Suddenly, NAMBLA pukes everywhere, so certain of their convictions, aren’t so sure anymore." -Asian? Couldn’t tell -How small are your eyes without makeup? -RealDull -If kung pao chicken was human... -Why would anyone want to roast a discounted sex doll? -Lucky for u u're not bald otherwise that big ass forehead would have blinded us. -Sum ting Wong -"You look like you work at a donkey show, fluffing the donkey before finishing him off." -You can put a whole watermelon between your eyes -She's eating the dogs. She's eating the cats. She's eating.....the PETS! -Cute. -"You look like a silicone sex doll, just with even less personality tho" -Asian Shadowheart. -"You look like someone copied and pasted your face over itself, but didn't line it up quite right." -Lets call you gacha addict 2000320 -Is this Odd lot clearance for the untrafficked? -I hope you don't have a penis. -You have the look of a sex doll which has been “lovingly” passed down to it’s 4th owner… -This doll doesn't even look realistic you need a refund -Lookin like a *Finding Nemo* character. -Inside -You love me long time 🥹 -https://youtu.be/SjYtKijcYkI?si=P7QBQhKFSy1agbrV -‘Female’ -Give it for up for ju-yon -Aren't you on my son's 5th grade basketball team? -"Put the scissors down. You’ve done enough damage. - -I’m guessing your pubes look about the same." -When you order a real Doll off Temu at a steep discount. -Is ur pussy really sideways? -You look like the first Asian ever thats having a anaphylactic shock from a seafood allergy 🐡 -Elon could at least make the robots a little more attractive -Uhm. If I'm to roast you i need more roastable material. You're too pretty like this -"Beautiful compassionate eyes, burn" -"You are wide-eyed, but not in the good way" -You look easy to draw. -"You're too young to post on this sub. - -Or maybe too old, I can't tell." -Didn’t you just message me on telegram asking how I was and if I remember you and if I want to go on vacation with you? -Me roast you long time -"ID…..then smash, oh roast….um…..smash then bukaki? I’m not good at this" -Alright Felipe we know it’s you -no. you're adorable -Your face looks like you are wearing a mask of a little Japanese girl. -Where do the Redditors sign up for the pig-butchering scam? -The weeb dinner bell has gone off. -It's rare to find something fairly human that's allergic to body weight. -"I’d pay you $5 to not sucky sucky. Hell, I’d give you anything you want to not sucky sucky." -You have a weird ass nose! -I think you're adorable 😊 -"Why do you want people to roast in purpose?Girl,internet is a dangerous place for this you know... don't try this risky moves 😳" -Who we kidding? We all know you are gonna be starting an OF after an unsuccessful streaming career. -Post your before plastic surgery photos here if you dare -"# You look like a Dude, Playing A Dude, Disguised As Another Dude" -Is that what you say to all your clients? -Nothing we say can be more damaging than the fact you’re a blue archive fan -I’ve got the same doll.. -What's your Genshin Impact UID so I can join your world and delete your roast from Irminsul? -Authentic Geisha -Might be looking for roast but your inbox probably screams baked. -Let’s fuck. -Is there anything you don’t do? -comment -My grandma would have said “she is a handsome woman” -When you do so much Thighmaster your vulva is two biceps -Now I know what Putin would look like cross dressing. -"Idk how, but your face is 50% nose and 60% forehead. - -On the bright side, when you give head, you're always giving 110%." -If only gym could fix your face -Nice package bro. -Your dog saw you naked now its blind in one eye. -"Take a child’s body, slap a man head on it, give it some tits and a cock, and this is what you get." -You look like an alien drew a woman after only hearing a description of one. -"Don’t pay any attention to the unkind comments these people are posting. - -Be proud of the fact that Aerosmith wrote a song about you." -"You look like you would yell, “IT’S SIR!” at the kid who works at GameStop." -Oh I love transition success stories -Love the cod piece. -You look like a human Sphinx cat -Went beyond camel toe right to camel foot. -Forget Camel Toe you have Camel Dick. -Disappointed no one called her Shelon Musk. -Is that a penis in your tights or are you just happy to see me? -Butch Crotchety and the skin tight pants. -You became the men you hated. -"No tits, short, and a butter face?" -Can’t hide that bulge -Why the long face ? -Your vagina is bigger than your tits -Kegels cross fit instructor -You are definitely going to murder the girl who leaves you for a normal life get to get married. - Nice job making a camel toe out of foreskin. 26 going on 56. You rough! -Veiny bro. -If I put a quarter in the slot will this old gypsy woman tell me my fortune? -So Handsome -Could do better on the tuck job -You look like Putin. -I’m a little wiener short and stout. Here is my tail here is my snout -"Camel Toe, Camel Face?" -Why is the dog hotter the you -Nice dick print -Brutal is the word I’m looking for. -You look like the ugly female version of GSP with smaller tits. -I can’t roast you because your dick is bigger than mine. The best I can do is tell you that my dick is pretty small anyway though -Ronda Lousey -Bro is packing 👀 -So you're the one they modelled the Easter Island heads on. -You're the type that confidently drops the N-word while you wait in line for your 4th plan B of the week. -Terrible tuck job -"You should consider hitting people with your ears instead of your fist, they’re stronger and bigger." -You have the longest head to body length ratio I've ever seen -First time I've seen a camel penis. -Just looks like a jacked Dobby to me -What the fuck -You look like an Oompaloompa -"So aside from cocks in your mouth, there’s one between your legs AND between your eyes??" -You look like a 45 year old single mother with 2 kids trying to go back out into the wild -Are cameltoes back in? Asking for a friend -A gymbro Greta Thunberg. -Camel toe or sausage lump? -How do you feel about the battle over whether you should play men’s or women’s sports? -Took so much gear she grew a dick -If always a bridesmaid never a bride had a face -Since when did Elon Musk transition? -"The Clitasaurus, thought to be extinct. Rare and unpredictable. A carnivore with an appetite for meat unparalleled to other species of similar size." -"You look kinda like that actor from the Bear. Since nothing else comes to mound…I mean mind, I’ll be going now" -The Bulgarian Curling team is calling you. -those shoes used to look like something i would wear in runescape -The female version of Putin still got bigger balls than I have. -Someone report this -Anyone noticed the girl in the background on the second image? She is looking a little bit angry to op 😁 -You've been banged more than a second hand drum. -Death by snu snu -This is a rough 26 -You sure you're 26. -"You switched the digits of your age, didn't you?" -"How much do you bench? No, not you, I was talking to your dick." -Grip gotta be like a python -Camel foot -Your dick has Abs -"Damn, 26 and already on your 2nd divorce, that's rough." -Damnnnn shawty nice cock how much it lift? -Damn this guy almost looks like a chick -This subreddit is a display of how limited insults upon looking at someone actually are. A true roast would require knowing about the person's character. The chosen insult is just adjacent to transphobia for a woman who really doesn't actually look that bad. -"I’m sorry little boy, I think you’re lost" -How's the Ukraine war going? -If “tuck-it”s ever needed an ad…. -Bitch has a pushed back hair line and a lumpy vagina -Horse knuckle of death right there -If not for the camel toe I would say you’re a dude. -"You look like a Russian henchman, in a bond film, but like not the hot one" -You going hard on showing that moose knuckle to draw attention from your face? -I’m jealous of your giant hog -"Every handjob you give begins with the phrase, “I must break you.”" -"""i took her to my house, cuz she was fine, but she wooped out a dick that was bigger than mine""" -I would say a thing or two but im afriad your father will nuke my home -Congratulations on your transition but you need some lessons in tucking -"Ask other transwomen how to tuck your cock away. - -Are you saving up for bottom surgery?" -"The body of a fit hung 26 year old, the face of a weathered Russian 86 year old." -I came here for the comments -Idk if I can roast you. You're a very handsome young man. -How can you be a man and a lesbian at the same time? -Somebody keeps skipping face day. -Steroids are bad for women -"Leaving aside ""26"" (yeah, and the rest) and the suspicious bulge, you are 100% a Vikki." -Too bad your cock isn't as hard as your body -Sex with you is probably like an episode of American Gladiator -You can hide it better if you tuck it in the back -You have 2% body fat and it’s all in your labia -Better secure that cameltoe before it strolls away -She either snatches 300lbs or her snatch can lift 300lbs -Your hair color doesn’t match your skin tone -Was Putin angry when you transitioned? -Dude put your boner away! -macklemore -We don’t need 9 pics to tell you you’re ugly and have no sense of style. -I’m afraid to cause he might manhandle me -Cat is hella phaattt -You leave a landing strip in the front and your right labia is bigger than your left. I read lips. -Nice camel-foot! -Built like a spark plug -It’s bigger than mine and I’m a guy -I see you tape your candy. -It’s looking at me.. -it appears that you've consumed an Alanis Morrisette CD and never recovered. -"Mighty moose knuckle, my bro!" -"At least I know if I ever need to make an emergency landing, I’ve got your forehead as an option" -Quite the fupa -How much did they pay you to use your likeness for Doby in the Harry Potter series? -It’s funny how in the last picture you are doing the light skin face/smile 😂😂 -Must be a Canadian with that huge Mooseknuckle. I’m still staring at it. 🤷🏿💯 -"FYI, your weiner is showing in the first pic..." -Your camel toe is the size of an actual camel's toe -Your body looks like it's covered in skinny penis everywhere except for your face which reminds me of Vladimir Putin. -"nice jawline, Quagmire" -Your head looks like a a goddamn thumb/ Squidward’s Tiki House wearing drag. -Instead of a cameltoe you have camel face. -Even your Widow's Peak doesn't want to be on your face anymore. -Really enthusiastic but somehow terrible head -comment -For a second I thought a boiled egg had sprouted arms and legs -Jeff Gazos -All the sex appeal of a ferret with mange -This guy definitely drinks his own piss and not because he looks like a bald Bear Grylls. -There goes Finlands ranking as happiest country. -You look like a Christian youth pastor who got fired for….reasons -First pic looks like a half blown up action figure man with big biceps but little t rex arms. -It's nice to see that Dobby lived a fulfilling life as a free elf. -You had to specify ‘male’ in case those tits in photo 1 convinced us otherwise eh -You say you moved to Finland but did your hair stay in Holland? -I feel for Finland. They deserve better. -"Surprised you aren’t an Olympic swimmer or biker, your head looks naturally aerodynamic." -Why are you so pointy? -They are taking the Hobbits to Isengard head ass -"""ChatGPT, make a picture of a bald, gay, smiling, Dutch backpacker on a hiking trail, with out of proportion biceps, who also skips leg day.""" -Weren't you in Right Said Fred? -Cant serve him the sexual assault charges if hes as hard to find as his hairline. -I prefer oxiclean personally -Broke Back Finland -I bet nobody has ever offered to sell you weed  -When Jonny Sins stops doing porn and turns to drugs -Fellow Dutchie here. We’re glad you left. -He is finish…ed -"Interpol will catch you eventually dude,hand yourself in" -Channing Tatum if he had the HIV -left his minions behind. -You look like you moved to Finland so random guys can Finnish on your face. -You look like cancer patient Bear Grylls -Bro allergic to leg day -Bro out here looking like Dobby from Harry potter. -Johnny Sins if he never took up all those jobs -You look like roll on deodorant -What’s the name of the cult you started? I’ll keep an eye out for the documentary -"So...by ""moved to Finland"" you mean you actually invaded a sovereign nation to try and bring the word of Christ to the heathens? No one wants to hear your bullshit." -"You’re the type of guy to have the “social media bad, nature good” mentality yet not know how to spell the word ‘carrot’ or count to 20" -"You should be in the Olympics right now, you could've been the only swimmer that didn't need a swimming cap. The speed you'd of picked up in that pool, woulda been Unbelievable!" -Never wish for “a little head”. Genies are extremely literal -How many times have you played an extra in Nazi movies? -Will not shut up about your world travels the second you are in proximity of a woman -Which way did you transition? Either way congrats. -Did you get kicked out of every other country in northern Europe for being hairless? 😒 -Is this a make a wish post? -"When people say I look good for 33, I guess they were comparing me to people like you." -Good to see Gollum is taking better care of himself. -I don’t got any roasts but when I saw the 3rd pic I had a genuine giggle and it made me feel good -"""Nature lover"" is your motto to get laid" -Guy got barcode in the back of his head -I feel like you're the bi-product of Andrew Tate and Gollum just man/beast sexing until something popped out. -He's an enforcer for a cult that lives in the woods and sacrifices people. -Never skip head day -Uses roids to build a house on stilts and still looks like shit -Looks like you enjoy a good Dutch oven -"whatcha compensating for, humpty dumpty head ass" -Your 1st pic looks like an unflattering characiture of yourself. The rest are downhill from there. You're cursed with a punchable face -Lock up your pre teen boys!!! -Respect this man. He loves nature despite what it did to him. -"Let me guess, you are recently divorced and these pictures are from your Bumble account" -At least the Russians are not interested in invading anymore. -How did you get all of the Blue off? I thought all smurfs were blue? -You look like a big toe with googly eyes glued onto it -Baldmember. Isn't Dat soooo vierd? -You look like an elf trying to reinsert himself in society! -"You know what they say happens to guys who use steroids right? I'll bet that was already you to begin with, so you figured you didn't have anything to lose. Except your hair, obviously." -You look like an unqualified Johnny sins -Looks like Dobby had a glow up and moved to Finland -Johnny Sins -"Rub on his bald head and you get 3 wishes! -Lex Luther has nothing on you btw." -I can see your forehead from a satellite. -What the hell did Finland do to deserve this. -"I genuinely wish you Good Luck finding whomever fits your criteria to be ritually sacrificed on that altar! - -Please be sure to live stream" -You look very American -Hows the hypogonadism going -White Virgil van Dijk.... Min hair min charisma min human -Male Pattern baldness = ultimate roast. -"“From Finland I am, yes.”" -"Let me guess……… you like zip lining, New Zealand, hostels, blonde chicks, you’re spiritual but not religious, you eat 25 eggs a day and you collect “interesting” rocks you find washed up on remote beaches." -You look like you are 404 podcasts away from outsmarting someone -Became a free elf and moved to Finland -"If Donald Trump had your ears, he'd be missing an ear right now." -Nothing says adventurous like going *all the way* from the Netherlands to Finland -"Idk I think you have a beautiful face. Not the roast you wanted, but you’re hot lol" -"Because the Finnish now have to observe your early male pattern baldness, you have singlehandedly caused Finland to drop from the #1 ranking on the Global Happiness Index." -"Oh look, Caillou grew up and became a cult leader" -Mr. Clean got buffer :O -r/roastme is becoming an Instagram for masochists. *Case in point - this dude.* -Your pastor's cum must be really high in protein. -"There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch." -Mr Clean is that you??? -"You look like a happy Golum that got his shit together in the third picture, good for you." -33? -"There used to be no fairytales about gargoyles in Finland. Then one day, a Dutchman entered and none of the children were prepared for the horror that would be bestowed upon them." -"When this guy dies, he'll still have a smile on his face ""because of the adventure that lies ahead."" - -Anyway, I bet you're highly sensitive to bug bites." -Bet that scalp lights up the dark days over there. -You look like someone who likes to say „whabam“ -Ik ken jou ouwe boef 😀 -"At least Mr. Clean's son isn't spending his father's fortune on drugs like most other rich offspring. Quite the opposite. - -*When will you take up the mop?*" -Bare cheeks Grills -In photo 3 you look like an Orc that was thrown out of Sauron's army for masturbating too much. -"You look like you would be a knockoff He-Man villain from the 80s. - - -Pack-Man" -What’s up butt head?! -"Zoals de meeste Nederlanders heb je meer ego dan haren op je hoofd - -""Like most dutch people you have more ego than hair on your head""" -You look like a guy that would definitely try and pound my wife. -Jonny Sins cousin Jerry Blessings -Just a bit further up north and you can help Santa out as a Christmas elf who really doesnt like to make presents for darker-skinned folks  -"I thought you were a doctor, or an astronaut, or my mom’s personal trainer, or a pilot…." -Help never Hill play me this never taylor play mi this never David play me this never San José play abu me wtf me hongle lonnnnnnn Time not huse not wor not it's solo amenazas insulto racismo descriminacion no ay derechos parai 😭 -Two thumbs up to a vibrating kegel ball inserted into the anus during a hike. -Go shit in your pussy. -Dutchie Sins -scouting eventual dead hooker burial spots -The son of Bear Grylls and Johnny Sins -Looks like they found the tokkie that got away. -One punch man made it to Finland! -Johnny Fins -Didn’t think Keebler elves were allowed to leave the tree. -Do you ever wonder if life enjoys having you? -Are those ears or satellite dishes? WOW! -"Are you also an astronaut, teacher, construction worker, and police officer to name a few of the other professions you've done?" -No way! Yoda in human form?! -Did you hike there? You forgot your wig. -They are searching for you in the Netherlands! Why you are escaped? -congrats -"You look like a 9 year old stroopwaffle, minus the stroop." -"How was copper wire invented? -2 Dutch fighting over a penny 😃" -You were looking for love but you found child support and months of training but you realized you were in a cancer coma -Dollar store Vin Diesel -Spreading the word of Christ because no one wants you to spread your 💦 -You look like a demon from the midnight mass TV series -"33?! - -Buddy you look like my Neighbors 47 yr old Dad" -"“Roast me, I’m all ears.”" -Mr clean on a adventure for his new sponge -Hell Sinky -You didn't need to include the photo where you had a crew cut and pretended like you still had hair. -Body proportions so weird its like you were generated by AI -Wish.com version of Joseph Gordon-Levitt -What you get when you order Voldermort from Wish. -This guy could walk straight on the set of LOTR and be handed a bow -You moved to Finland to find Jesus? You know he's everywhere right? -"Muscle bound, elven, AND ordained?! Im'ma call you Triple Threat." -You look like Bear Grylls’ aborted son -U look like the white version of Jada Smith -A mad scientist tried to cross-breed Shrek and Popeye. It all went terribly wrong. The monster is now on the loose somewhere in the woods of Finland... -Dutch goblin changes career to Hiisi -Mr. Clean on holiday -You look like the byproduct of Pim Fortuyn and Urho Kekkonen being able to procreate with each other. -You look like you go by The Horde and have a woman personality named Patricia who wears long skirts and loves making sandwiches -You say you moved to Finland but did your hair stay in Holland? -Blijf daar maar -"There's no way we can roast you nearly as bad as every Finnish person you meet who hates that you live there. -I've been to 35 countries and no one is as mean to travelers as Finland is" -You look like a mix of Zuckerberg and Bezos. -It must be so exciting finally being reunited with other elves! -Keep the head -Dutch oven dooshebag. -Gelukkig nog een idioot het land uit -Who was the nice lady you buried in the woods? -Mr clean looking ass -The personification of a chode's love child with an evangelical Stretch Armstrong -Those straps were doing a *lot* of work to make it look like you have biceps. -"""HEY YOU GUYS"" is all I think about when I see that head of yours" -"Why do you come for insults, Christopher Reeve-just-after-the accident ?" -You look like a buff turtle -Did your hair not come with you?? -Vin BioDiesel -"I can’t roast you, you’re a hero. Now bring other 5 millions people with you that the house market sucks big times here." -Great! Humpty Dumpty got down from his wall. -Jhonny sins if he was a virgin -Let enough dudes throw their seed on your head you might grow a lovely bush -You look like a dollar store James Bond villain wearing George Michael’s muscle suit -So you’re just finnished with Holland? -I didn't know Mr Clean was Dutch ... -“33yo Dutch male”… yes obviously MALE. -Master gave Dobby a sock -Very odd shaped pencil head. -Preachin the good word no doubt amen -You got a job as a Lutheran minister too? -Nair Grylls -You know you’re doing alright if the only thing anyone can come up with is some clever way of saying “you’re bald”. -Go back to America where you belong -How was joining the Hitler jugend? -Somebody gave Dobby a turtleneck!! -I bet if someone touched you they would lose all their hair too due to all the gear you had to take to go bald this fast. -33 my ass. You least 45 -You look like an outdoors cooking content creator that inappropriately seasons meat -He goes hiking to Finland so he doesn't spend a cent! Typical Dutch!!! -I don't roast eggs I boil them -"WHERE YOU LIVE IS SO MUCH PRETTIER THAN WHERE I LIVE! - -HAHAHAHA TAKE THAT YOU FUCKER!!!" -I don't get the whole roast me thing I don't know why it keeps showing up in my feed because I keep seeing good people living life here and i dont throw stones regardless -FINNISH HIM -"Onze dagen van koloniseren zijn lang voorbij Columbus, keer weder naar ons kikkerland" -Je bent wel pittig kaal daar in de bergen -How does a 50yo man stay 30… -"Dutch male moved to Finland, hair decided to stay in Netherlands" -Dumbo with a penis tuck. -"As an American, I hear 33yo Blah Blah male moved to Blah Blah." -"Dutchland to Finland, real original, Varys" -Couldn’t get a steroid plug in Finland? -Pic 2/6 is giving Midsommar -You look like AI generated version of Saitama -Dude looking like an albino baby orc -Ah!!!! Een paspoort bro!!!!! -I’m sorry I just couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the pictures😂😂😂 -Fin Diesel -"You inspired the Austin Powers line: - -There are only two things I can’t stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch. - -Said your own kinsmen" -That photo of you in the turtleneck makes you look like a broken condom -"you went to find yourself, and it seems you couldn't find your hairline either" -I thought skrulls were shapeshifters? -What kinda tree is that? Looks enormous. -Finland is now occupied with shit show -Looking like an anabolic naked role mat -Where did you dump the body after she finished taking the last candid? -"You should audition for the father of ""Dobby the Elf"" in the new Harry Potter film" -Good keep walking away. -“Then who was flickering the lights? “ -If kroket had a face. -You look like a Belgian pretending to be from Noord Brabant. -"You’re nowhere near tall enough to be Dutch, and even Finnish Jesus couldn’t fix your hairline." -The smug look and npc posture already told me you were Dutch -You look like Vin Weasel -How long have you been a free elf? -He really looks like someone who hugs trees more than his mother -You look like a chihuahua on steroids -No -Come join my church come join my tribe. All I need is three so I can take all your money. -Those pics are the definition of how to not set up your tinder profile -you look like a condom. -"Please stop suggesting protien supplements to people, they already find you annoying enough." -You look like the poster child of Eugenics. -"I need some clarification, are you gay or are you a preacher?" -Looks like dobbie got the sock from the master. -"Anders Breivik's long lost brother. Watch out Finland, him saying he's Dutch might just be a cover to start a farm and buy huge quantities of fertiliser." -We missen je niet. -He'll Sink-i your labido-i. -You look like a sperm that enjoying life. Nothing but respect. -You look like the Mr Clean of Temu -Bezos? -Had to go all the way to Finland to start your cult! -You look like you fart glitter.. -Face like a (shaved)reindeers ball bag -"Did you always know your head was so very penis shaped, or was that a surprise when you went bald?" -You typed 43 wrong. -Gollum got jacked!! 😄 -"Well now when he doesn't just blow he, Finnishes." -First picture is budget Vin Diesel but in your case Van Diesel -Dutch police finally caught you stalking minors so you had to go elsewhere? -I was going to report this as NSFW but that second to last pic isn't an uncut dick but it's you! -So we are colonizing again? Leave those pagans alone. -"Jesus called, he said ""NO. Just no.""" -First time I've seen Mr. Clean not cleaning shit. -Is a Dutch person moving to Finland the US equivalent of a person from Vermont moving to Maine? -"Ah yes, Johnny good deeds" -Picture #3 looks like a leprechaun lost in the woods. -What's it like being a sociopath? -The fourth pic is the look you give the Finnish scouts kids just before violating them in the forest hm? This why you left the Netherlands? -Dobby is a free elf! -Looks like the end of another bloodline -Those are the ears of a man who let someone ride his face for way too long. -Which one of you has the light today? Seems like hedwig to me. -First pic looks like Mr clean’s shitty vegan cousin -You look like a broke Bezos. -"You look like you moved to Finland to avoid your two kids, not just because of the restraining order your ex in Denmark has against you." -Not a roast but we know you’re agent 47 undercover -Three thumbs up -Bro looks like Mr clean -Why are your calf’s so afraid of gaining muscle? -do your ears receive all satellite channels ? -Now I understand where the term dickhead came from -elves have smaller ears then he does -Damn Shreks been dosing on that Ozempic -Je ziet er uit als een rechts nationalistische prepper die naar het noorden is verhuisd om weg te komen van de immigranten -"You look like you’re a really nice guy. - - - -Jerk" -My brother is Joe rogan -Did you have a question or... -your ears are more impressive than your biceps -Skipped leg day. I have seen better legs on fucking coffee table. -Vin Butane -"i assumed weirdly strong, small headed elves lived in Finland & you've proven this to be true sir." -You look like the definition of a walking midlife crisis -"Dutch, Swedish... same thing: https://youtu.be/lHlOXOb3vwQ?si=3fFbxJ5rbDJngQkT" -"People have to explain to others just why they can't stand you. ""But he's so nice, how could you not like him?""" -Why are your shoes not made of wood?? -Jeff Bosos -Missionary is also the only position you know -comment -Yall know her wig is attached to the hat right? -Cloud 9 can’t support the weight of that makeup. -Back to McDonald's for your evening shift. -All that icing on your face lookin like a chocolate cupcake. -"You look like you just got a degree in ""Speaking to the Manager""" -"“Congratulations Class of Friday afternoon, make sure to have your degree stamped on the way out.”" -Masters in Mascara Overapplication. We're proud of you.  -Don’t include a picture in your resume -Does this college give degrees to everyone? -Congrats! You can now work the X-ray machine at your TSA job. -"now provide us with one picture without filters and no makeup, just accept that you aren‘t in your 20s anymore" -"You're 41? At this age, your back goes out more than you do!" -41 years to get a “degree” from a college that advertises during day time talk tv? Wow….impressive. -"University of Maryland 'global campus' ... ah yes the online ""Criminal Justice"" or ""Cyber Security"" degree. Hang it in the bathroom... just in case." -Bitch got more filters than a Brita. -A master’s degree in applying makeup with a trowel -I can't decide what is more fake. Your ridiculous eyelashes or the filters on your photo. -Good job dude -I’ll tip you extra at Starbucks tomorrow. -You remind me of that ad where that lady talks about SHNU and what great future lies ahead of her.... Well we all know how that story really ends  -Turn the filters off 😂 have a reality roast 😂🤣😂 -"41 with masters in cybersecurity with no expirience and no cert? -No one needs to bring you down, life will do a great job of putting you down soon." -I hope you realise that everyone can tell your face is filtered as fuck. -Nice cosplay -Good luck getting a job -Weren’t you at Duke with the lacrosse team in 2006? -Congrats! No roast needed! -Coincidentally that is the same number of filters you need to look presentable  -"DEI is dead, just like your dreams" -Your drag makeup doesn’t hide your age grandma. -Wanna know a fast way to lose ten pounds? Wash all that paint off your face. -"I didn't know they offered a Masters in ""have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?""" -"Ah, UMGC…a masters degree for the mentally challenged crowd." -"Your face looks fake. Like, I'm not sure if you're AI generated, or not." -Is your master’s degree in trying to catfish dudes who are the same age as your young adult son? -Shouldn’t you be in your rusted Nissan Maxima driving to Red Lobster to celebrate? -Must’ve been your Halloween costume -"That fucking filter deserved to earn the degree as well since it's been putting in so much work, you don't even have a nose anymore." -I once saw a Pokémon more real than you. -"Is your diploma as fake as your wig. Looks like everything about u is fake. Fake hair, nails, lashes. I will 100% say u make some man very unhappy" -"Lighten up on the filters and makeup, go put money in the B community" -Your eyelashes look like dollar store spiderweb decorations. -She must have looked so silly when she threw her hat in the air and the hair went with it -Still can't swim though -What took you so long dummy... -"Holy shit they were right, orange is the new black." -"Fake eyelashes, hair, too much make-up, drawn on eyebrows…which of you two graduated?" -"Wow, a Master’s degree at 41? Impressive! Too bad the job market’s like, “Oh, but do you have 15 years of experience for this junior role?”" -More tits than brains -"don't worry, your makeup will break the fall" -Now go pay bills for your “King” who has no job and 4 baby momma’s and is probably using your car to have sex with one of them while you work. -We can hang it up right next to your brother's prison issued barber license. -"Graduated on Friday, and began putting on makeup on Wednesday..." -"Let me guess, you have a bedazzled license plate frame on your shit box car." -Now you can work the help desk for Spirit Airlines. -What future is there in Bronze Age Sumerian Badminton Theory? -Ru Paul scholarship candidate -Some people may say you did it too late and those people are right -Is cloud 9 the name of the filter? -You probably got a son who's 30 whos managing a McDonald's and yet he still makes more money than you. -"Degree = +1 life opportunity points.. -Women & Black = -5 life opportunity points" -"You are hired --Local McDonald's manager" -Surely there was more time invested in the filter than the degree. -May the Lord take two years off of my life and add it to yours. 🙏🏻 -Salon owners out there spending their doe. Better than an Altima -Your dad would be proud… if you actually knew him. -Not a roast but a question which stems from my curiosity for all things related to academic dress. Why are you wearing an octagonal (8-sided) velvet tam (which is usually worn by PhD recipients in the US) instead of a square cap? Is the tassel on the tam golden? T.IA. -I just wanted to make sure that it Reddit was still full of racist -"First congrats. Second, being 41 and having those poor decisions for nose rings made me realize why it took you so long to graduate" -Imagine trying to look professional with cumbrellas 😂 -I had no idea a masters in cosmetology was a thing. -Were all the comments on makeup filtered out? -Well the Master’s wasn’t in photo editing -Let me guess… Masters in Fried Chicken Management? -You do not need fake lashes -"How did you get the ""Maryland"" patch over the 'Phoenix' one?" -Hope you like working more than retirement. That debt’ll follow you to the fucking grave. -What was your masters? Shoplifting? -"You did it! It only took 18 years and $948,900 in student loans." -ooooo congrats mary j broke -"I got mine by 28. I should have just got shark VD and nailed my ballsack to a wooden Indian statue outside a cigar shop before sticking a cattle prod up my arse while stepping on a caltrop, and I’d have been better off." -Camera has more filters than a coffee pot!!! -Clown makeup school? -First generation…… first evolution -I knew the comments would not disappoint -Congratulations! This is going to do wonders for your onlyfans content for this month -41 damn old ass got a masters in operating switchboards. -Wauw that's a lot of fucking fuzz for a friggin' Bachelor's degree -That’s not your real hair -Those hands could make an F150 driver side shock look small. -Does this mean no more food stamps? -"So, you are still Black…" -Well at least the IT degree will help you with your OF page -You don’t need a degree to work in fast food! -Is this an advertisement for Black Lives Matter campaign? Make sure to give the props and the certificate back to the university -"Yeah well… your eyes a…… are as pretty as the rest of your face. - -G/d I’m no good at this." -"Since when did you get a master’s degree in wearing too much makeup? - -Congrats... you can now do a nursing job washing and cleaning the elder’s asshole for minimum wage while giving them head and being in a never-ending debt, you will regret your life choices... you should have done OnlyFans!" -It took you that long? -"Congratulations! Only 23 years of college to get it, too!" -All that money spent just to make less money than men -Doing something in your 40s... that 20 year olds do on the regular.. that's cute. -The only thing high as cloud 9 is your one eyebrow -I got my masters at 25 what the hell took you so long? -"You call that face your own, we call that silicone " -Couldn't get into a real school? -Congratulation on your Masters Degree in Wonka bar making -"Let me guess, was it a Masters in Systemic Systems of Structural Institutions?" -Oompa lompa Dupity Dee jaundice is real now listen to me -Fuck no I’m not making fun of you. You just got a masters in cyber security if I say some shit you don’t like you’ll be able to find me 🤣🤣🤣 -Absolutely not! Congratulations!!!!! -They do a Masters for Nail Techs? -That degree is as fake as those eyelashes! -Cardi Z -Is 41 the age or dress size? -"Stored 41 years worth of information in that forehead, damn 😩" -"Blink a lot in an area with windmills, helps increase the wind speed and power output." -i think it might take you longer to remove your make up than apply it: but well done anyway! -Going to cosmetology school for 6 months involing hair plugs and weaves doesn't mean you have a Masters Degree -Now you’re 4 kids from 3 dads have a better role model. Good for them. -Ok now back to the stripclub you for some real paper -"Masters Degree at 41, you only have 20 years tops to pay off that 8 year student loan before you die!" -But you still can't keep a man... -The eyelashes make me think you graduated from Diddy University. Majoring in Rachet with a minor in Hair Weaves. -I didn’t know they offered masters  degrees in cosmetology.  -How much did you pay for that costume? -So generic with that makeup on you bouta go back to franklin's dog ass -Congratulations on your massive debt and overcrowded job market -Devry will take anyone nowadays -So did you really graduate from the school of cyber security and I T or did you hack into their system ? -Lizzo done got her degree -Gravity will do that for you soon enough -Not today... congratulations! -Congrats -Congratulations QUEEN! -I have no idea how you graduated with a masters in cybersecurity with those long ass fingernails that look like they've never touched a keyboard. -Black trans grandmas for Trump…even using the Trump makeup I see 👏🏼 🤡 -Her Major is in Drive Thru Cashiering -I believe she majored in Primatology. -"Don’t waste our time, we all know basket ball or rap music is the only way out" -"Congrats, another notch in your belt when you apply for food stamps." -Who doesn’t have a masters degree nowadays? -That 3rd photo is about all you'll be good for anyhow. Service slave. -"I bet it’s a master of communication, or a master of science in (insert bollocks). I also bet it was a coursework masters." -That degree is faker them those lashes -"Your worthless! -Please continue to be worthless by trying to help people!" -Them tits are hanging past your waist -Oh hell no darling. Continue to reach for the stars -"Landfill called, it wants its makeup back!" -It took you 41 years to do that? I thought people enjoy in that period. -Only took 18 extra years -"Imagine taking on huge debt at 41 for a piece of paper. I'm sure all those companies are looking for middle aged people with no experience. - -Enjoy your entry level position" -Great pace. You will be a candidate for the labor card at the age of 80. -41? You look much older than that -"- Gets a Master degree -- Only recommendation for enhancing company's cyber security is to make phishing tests more realistic -- Leads phishing test by putting on a cake's worth of makeup and trying to seduce male employees - -It's a genius plan, really" -"Its ALWAYS some cornball,insecure jealous racist trolls online ALWAYS 😂😂PATHETIC" -Nah just congrats -I’ve got nothing congrats sis✊🏽 -"R/roast me just gives sad bored people an opportunity to be racist. 90% of the comments were about her skin color, working at McDonald or being a single mother? From 3 pictures you sad miserable people must be projecting because a masters degree is a great accomplishment. Ion like her boots tho looking like SpongeBob in them." -Comment section full of racism is sad. Roast me got dark real quick. -Your six kids with 5 baby daddies should be proud! -I refuse to bring you down. FUCK YEAH. FUCK YEAH. FUCK YEAH. Also your forehead is perfect with nary a wrinkle. God I am terrible at roasting. -I can't because you're magnificent....congratulations -Ol college degree having ahh -"A strong black woman, that overcame obstacles and achieved her goals?? Nope this white dude can’t talk any shit. Good for you 👍" -Nah fuck that congratulations -Sorry! Can't do it! U rock! Get you some CELEBRATION and hit us on another day to roast ya! Go go go! -Your gorgeous -"congratulations, may God bless you!" -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -Is your ex the mayor of Whoville? -I see you got to keep the needles in the break-up. -Your ex must have recently gotten glasses -You look like someone susceptible to joining a cult. -Just buy new batteries -Shave or at least trim your bush. Can’t even see it but I know its out of control -Even your toys tell you to keep the lights off. -"Gurl, you are rocking that all natural Manson Family cult look." -You look like worm from a half eaten apple. -How the fuck you look 45 and 20 at the same time -Natural deodorant isn't doing you any favors. -You look like Bret the Hitman Hart. -You look like you would sell your siblings to an ice witch for some Turkish delight. -Alanis Whoresette -You look like you have hairy feet -You look like you used to be fun. -"Don't worry, you won't have to experience many more breakups. " -a **Githyanki** wtf -Were you adopted from Whoville? -what's UP with your nose? -"I thought those antlers were a red flag but then I saw your first tattoo. First impression is Deep South, joined a scary-ass cult at 12yo and rescued by Woody Harrelson in True Detective season 1." -He probably left you for something less toxic like heroin or something -Maybe you should go with more Forever 21 and less Area 51. -"I feel as if Austin Powers is gonna jump out, rip your wig off, and yell out ""That's a man, baby""." -I need a throw up -What you really need is a paper bag. -Glow up? I need to throw up. -You look like Andy Serkis did your motion capture… -You look like a 60 year old that’s wearing her granddaughters clothes to feel young again -So which one of yall got sober? -Look like your on track to be that old witch in the woods you hear about in horror films -"Searching for the Methly Hallows, eh?" -I hope it wasn't a workplace romance. Gringotts has strong policies against those. -You can dress gonorrhea in a dress and put some makeup on it but at the end of the day it's still gonorrhea with tattoos and a big forehead. -You look like you can’t swim. Your future definitely involves being homeless in Portland -"Y'all, go easy on her. She's clearly still upset about that bitch Dorothy dropping a house on her twin sister and stealing her shoes 85 years ago." -"If ""all my kids were taken by the state and sent to different foster homes"" had a face." -He dodged a bullet! -I can smell you through the phone -"Is there anOnlyFans link? - - -<>> thank goodness" -What you need is a laser session to get rid of those shitty tats. -24 or 44 -Never seen a goblin in real life. -"Can you pass the crystal, please." -"Not a roast but genuine glow up tips: 1) go to the gym. You will feel healthier and better about yourself while looking more naturally toned. 2) probably take a hair cut or trim. 3) better skin care routine inclusive of under eye masks 4) your tats are cool, if you are into make up, doing a ""clean girl"" or ""natural"" make up look would look cool combined with the tatted look (laminated/gelled eyebrows, little to no base make up try to focus on good skin care, black mascara and eyeliner, clear lip gloss)- hope this helps" -Your boyfriend needs a memory eraser. -The Grinchess -"You don't have to tell us why. - - - -We all know why." -You can put an ad for a new bf on that forehead. -Alanis Morissette looks like shit -If you were lying facedown and I was standing over you I still think I’d be able to see up your nose -Lucky guy 🍀 -You look like a Halloween decoration somebody forgot to put away. -"Even with a glow up, you’d still be a 4." -"Breakups are tough. No worries, meth dealers are dime a dozen." -"Now that your captors have set you free, I would start with a haircut and a hearty meal" -You look like Punky Brewster with all them freckles -"A glow up? You need clearasol, dim lighting and alcohol." -Anne Throwaway -"you look both 30, and 65 at the same time, u can use some better clothes, u look like a homeless guy asking for money. and need to get a better taste in men seeing how stressed you look, probably from that break up." -You need a glow up cause ya nose up -Pass the shrooms and nitrous oxide please (note the 2 tanks on her desk in pic 2) -Oink Oink -Whoville resident. I would’ve left too. -If it’s any consolation I’d throw a batch At ya… F your ex all the hate here assumes he’s Brad Pitt ?? He may be Brad Shit?!! -You remind me of my son. He’s out of touch with reality too! -You look like a teenager and a grandma at the exact same time. -stop smoking -You look like the first alien to grow eyebrows -Whoville called and they miss you -If the scream mask was humanized into a face…you be it…damn -It’s alright. You’ll find another “partner” your next stint in inpatient. -You could always start documenting your story on your forehead. -"Did he take your precious ring with him, gollum?" -Yall know she's cute A.F. for a Fallout ghoul. -"Some more details about me -I’ve never worn makeup -I’ve been in 2 long term relationships that’s it -I LOVE to smile and do smoke weed so the lines are that lol -Never done any other drugs -I’m skinny cause my metabolism is fast I do eat alot I promise - -Your comments are funny I’m slightly humble but not fully yet keep em coming" -"Girl take care of yourself please, you literally have aged so much from crying. Do Gua sha before the sagging is permanent. Best wishes" -"Yeah, my dad got divorced in his 50's and it was rough on him too." -"You have a crystal collection, some of which you imbue with your hopes and dreams. Sorry, those hopes and dreams are gone just like your ex." -Oh shit my grandma done rose from the dead. -Grinch meets crackwhore -Your OF is free -You like the bee from the kids movie antz -You have a big forehead you should get bangs that’s what I do -You look like your dad -I can smell your room through the phone -Sorry about your breakup sir. But.you look like you smell like body odor and 305 cigarettes -We’re not in the 70s anymore. -I’d ask why the breakup but that’s as obvious as a fart in an elevator -"Glow up as in your index finger? You don’t need to be roasted, you need to phone home." -You look like you just crawled out of the mines of Moria after shaving your beard -Too much adderall. It’s making yours eyes bulge out too much -Are those bleach stains or something else? -You look like your standard glow up consists of a meth bender chased by a 6 pack of oxy for the comedown. -Body for Onlyfans and a face for a rotary fan. Yikes! -A 1 night drunken booty call that doesn't call back isn't the same thing as a break up. -"No worries hun, you will be doing porn with your Stepdad in know time" -The pussy stink is blinding me through the Internet -16 or 60? -"Damn, you could use some cosmetic surgery and I’m anti plastic surgery 99% of the time." -"Listen non-binary Alanis Morisette, you oughta knew he was gonna bolt when he found out you were sitting on a secret." -Why do you look like David Spade in the last pic -No need for a glowup just switch your ex's contacts for fakes and maybe you can get back with him -Breaking up w/u shouldn’t take that long.. -Giving young demi Moore vibes -Girl I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup. I think you’re gorgeous as you are! My only advice would be that a little makeup wouldn’t hurt to enhance your best features. Keep on keeping on! Feel free to send a PM if you wanna vent about it. I’ve been through plenty of nasty breakups myself. You got this! 🙌🏼🌟 -your face is dryer than the Sahara desert -Off brand Alanis Morissette. I’d honestly take that as a compliment. -"Your hair is gorgeous but doesn't frame your face well. High forehead and long face doesn't work well with long hair with a straight down the middle split. Don't think you need bangs, but from just above the nose to chin angle cut might work. You could even keep (maybe clean up) the overall length. - -If you want an actual roast - you look like you escaped LDS but never got out of the habits." -"I hate this sub, your eyes are so beautiful!" -Weeeell I’m thinking you’re pretty damn cute. So we’ll just have to roast marshmallows. -You’re either English or from Tennessee! -The Only GLOW up that’ll work for you is if Oppenheimer becomes your stylist. -"You have decent facial symmetry and you're very cute :) - -Sorry about the breakup. Those suck. But you'll be just fine" -Fake pictures -Holy hell those Tattoos 😍 -If you really wanted to be roasted you wouldn’t hide your teeth -Lookin like the result of a monkey and a Who from Whoville getting together to have a baby. -Where’d you get your shirt? I love it. Sorry not roast me material. -you look great for no makeup -Nooo u don’t need a glow up your beautiful!! -i would wife you so hard -You’re the reason I’m pro abortion -Is your ex Donald Trump? Because it looks like they dodged a bullet. -Ngl I'm not gonna roast you on my opinion just start eating more you looks scrawny -You’re beautiful -Trust me it will pass. Life ends when you are dead. Until then theres more breakups and makeups to happen. -Methed out Marisa Tomei -Didn't know the Grinches sister came in peach. Spit of that thang!!! -You remind me of everything I hate about good charlotte -You collect pretty rocks AND smoke them don’t you? -My my I didn't know the grinch has a sister -You should never say children are ugly but this little boy sure is -I didn’t know Whoville had burnouts. -You already look like your grandma -"Voldemort with hairs. -I will not say anything else" -Not a roast you need makeup -Who’s the idiot who dumped Dave grohl? -Yo macka ass was login like tha grinch -You look like a mean one. -Lae'zel? -You should stop taking drugs girl -These photos reek of cigarettes -PeeWee Hairman -Which part of whoville are you from -But-but-but-but-but-but-but-but-Butterface -How do you look 60 and 12 at the same time? -Looks like Rory Gallagher. -Mr bean and the Grinch's love child -I’m glad lord Baelish pushed you out the moon door -I know I’m supposed to roast you but you literally look like an elven princess out of LOTR and whoever let you go is an idiot. 😇🩷🥰 -Sleep for a couple days u look very tired -Weed in human form -Whose drill is that? Because you don’t look like you can screw🤷‍♂️ -You look like a Githyanki -"Bruh nothing I can say here is gonna be any worse than the shit sandwich genetics you unfortunately inherited. I mean, damn.." -Looks like Alanis Morissette but with John Mulaney's face and drug addictions. -Resting grinch face. Got me 😂 -Not gonna lie she looks like a vegan version of a junky -You look 45 and 15 at the same time wtf -Did it hurt when you fell.......from your broom? -You look like Sid from toy stories sister -You look like the fucked up avatars I used to make on Wii. -When you get bored of stealing Christmas so you become a Redditor -You look like E.T. -Your skin probably has the same texture as crusty foreskin -Alanis Percocet -What are your pronouns so I can address it correctly? -You look like if smigel had a sister! -All I have to say is you look pretty -You look like your feet stank -Nasa- because no one here on earth can figure out what the fuck is up with that face. -How your face look 15 and 40 at the same time? Old ass youngster -God and eye thought that EYE had baggage… -Bet your hair smells like smoke -"""I need a glow up""; Wow, I'm sorry." -This guy needs to get off heroine -Hard to roast.. I think ur kinda hot -Babe DID YOU POST IN THE RIGHT SUBREDDIT??? Are you sure you weren’t trying to post this on r/theglowup ?? -"Aw I literally don’t want to roast you you’re cute 🥹 sincerely, just a girl that doesn’t like mean shit lol" -An OF -"Not so much a roast, but - that patch over your right eye, is it growing? My gf had a basal cell carcinoma that looked a lot like that." -"Wow, the internet can be ruthless. I expected to enter the comments and see people uplifting this woman. They really are bringing all of the smoke." -Anal bead ah build 😭 -aspiring crack addict -You're beautiful!! You have gorgeous big brown eyes and the cutest freckles! the best glow-ups are internal - please be kind to yourself ❤️ and please don’t let these negative comments get to you!! I hope you fill your tank up with a lot of love and compassion- you deserve it! Take care ❤️ -You ever get sick of hunting Smurfs?? -Did Cher and Sonny have a daughter they put up for adoption? -When u order alanis morrisette off of wish -I didn't notice ur other pics love the belly button & you shape. Stay encouraged people will always have something to say about everything but ignore the a××holes & love vourself. ❤️ -Did your parents carry you by the nostrils as a child? -Holy shit it’s Rory McIIroy -You look like you smoke American Spirits and talk about which planet is making you sad today -Because nobody says it: You are really pretty:) no roast but fr -I can cook u a roast while we cuddle in my hammock!! 😉 -comment -Got the smile of a British bulldog -At least your kids are safe from anyone teasing them about fucking their mom -I assume you write more than 10 Facebook posts per day slamming your “POS sperm donor” ex and wonder why nobody calls to ask you how you’re doing anymore -You look like you carry a collapsible wet floor sign in your purse because you pee when you laugh. -How old were you when you found out you were the love child of Jay Leno and Rossanne Barr -"Pic 2 & 3: - -There are many firsts in life. - -This, for instance, marks the first time I've ever seen someone smile the Batman symbol." -STOP HAVING SEX -We can all see why you’re single. I just can’t see how you got laid three times -Kids have A.D.D. (All different dads) -Loved you in Hocus Pocus when you flew on the vacuum. -At least you weigh as much as an average couple! -“I will probably delete this and cry for weeks” is the name of your sex tape -Why you look like Chris Farley playing a woman in the first pic?! -"36, 3 kids, overweight, lowercase teeth, balding.. you're single? Craaaazyyy" -You look like you drink gravy with a straw. -"Let me guess, the babies daddies recently came out as gay" -Whole lotta deodorant on them inner thighs -Your cats are children Becky! -You’re a Pittsburgh 3 -This is just an excuse to eat. -When someone goes down on you if they make a sound they can hear their own echo. -Do you permanently look like you’re trying to shit a steel pineapple or is this an attempt at a smile? -Did you learn how to smile by looking at pictures of Heath Ledger as The Joker? -You definitely got a face for radio and a body for Rugby -You thought the nose ring would distract from everything else going on with you... it doesn't. There's not a ring big or gaudy enough; you've go that covered. -life has already roasted you enough -"Stop smoking, at least in front of kids" -36 single is understandable but 3 kids with the way you look is a mystery -even Shrek said no -"Edit: caption should read ""single mom of 3 **chins**"" - -Just a heads up, the top down view doesn't hide it anymore. People figured that out from the show Catfish..." -"Why is your mouth shaped like a ""W"" ?!?" -"this is what tinder really looks like, and they never right swipe me :(" -"Based on how you look I don't believe your a mom cause I can't believe anyone could get hard enough to fuck you let alone twice, 3 tines is just a straight up fairytale." -think of all the calories you'll burn from crying! -Your queefs have a lisp -No I don't want to buy any Scentsy -Are you sure you only have 3 kids? -Did the kids’ fathers all go to the store to get milk and cigarettes? -Nope. Not making fun of a woman who’s pregnant with 3 right now. -I'm fairly sure that if you lay down wearing a bikini helicopters will land on you -"Are all the kids named Dontavious, but you just call them by their last names?" -"The ""single"" wasn't necessary" -"I don’t think I could roast you, being a single mom of 3 is hard as hell and I give you a lot of respect for coming here with a face for radio and asking to be told that you look like a bulldog chewing on a hornet. I couldn’t in good conscience roast someone who tries to sit on a barstool and next thing she knows her ass is on the floor. I could never. Life is hard enough when your kids wonder out loud where all the groceries went the day after food shopping, so I don’t think I could live with myself roasting someone whose ass bends light. - -GL, HF. ILY." -"I can’t roast you - you look like a sweetheart. Don’t read all these and don’t cry for weeks, sister." -Bruh the caption is enough of a roast why you need more -There’s at least two dads. -I assume you had triplets? Surely no one fucked you more than once. -I bet you also cry for weeks when Costco runs out of ice cream sandwiches. -"Let me guess, sperm donors?" -😂 you look like you put ketchup and hot sauce on the dick before you suck it -"Wow, you managed to get three? What did they do? Shoot from around the corner?" -Poor kids -"You mentioned number of kids, but failed to mention number of dads. My money is on >4." -Three baby daddies. But everyone else is the issue. Got it. -Didn’t know they put rings on heffers I thought it was only bulls -have any of the kids popped out yet -I see you love creampies almost as much as you love oatmeal cream pies. -How is your mouth both happy and frightened at the same time -You guys need to be nice.. she's got a lot on her plate. 😅 -You got that super mario THWOMP block smile -You look like the only girls who like me on dating apps. -Nah ur adorable I can’t -"How are you sing-? (Puts on glasses) Oh, damn. That's why." -You look like you burp after a BJ. -You're cute. No need to cry. I bet you're a great mom. -No terrible towel could wipe that away. -"You mean single Mom of four, right?" -You have a stop sign on the bottom half of your face. -You could have deleted it before we all saw it… -Looks like you ate the 3 -You'll still be single when you're 60 & it's your own fault. -"When Lieutenant Gordon needs to signal batman, he just projects a big picture of your mouth." -"You’re so basic, I got a chemical burn from your post." -"Ten cats is not the equivalent of three children. You’re not fooling me, I can smell the cat piss from here!" -I just love how your skin complexion and your teeth are the same color. -Did you eat all your baby daddies? -Edit* and eat for weeks -"I’m pretty sure you just shat your pants, because you saw something that had to do with cartoons." -Stuck between it can't possibly be the same guy and it's gotta be different dads -I didn't know cum stained teeth!? -My therapist showed me this post to remind me how good I've got it -More bland than a sheet of cardboard -"3 kids, 12 baby daddies. Like russian roulette." -I take it all 3 were conceived doggy style? -so that's what a transgender jay leno would look like... -"So, what's the first thing you're excited to sell on TikTok?" -You look like you wheeze when you laugh -Your top lip looks like a minimalist version of the bat symbol -Exactly what I picture in my head when I hear 36y/o single mom of 3. -"The Kids are tripplets I suppose? Because no way you found sb who actually not only managed to fuck you, but did so several times" -"Stop. - -Ew." -Is that nose ring from the stock yard -Somewhere out there are 3 guys crying every paycheck because she drugged them. -"""Yang chas Solo chone Wookiee! -""Tung ko ro yay ha yaba hahs gee.""" -"Nah guys, she’s got a lot going for her. I would say 250, maybe even 300 pounds of it." -I feel like this is clubbing a baby seal. -First time I ever seen a bottom lip say “fuck this face” -You pee when you laugh jk -Jay Leno become a drag queen? Caz dang that chin... -Coulda at least had the audacity to show something other than your fat ass head -Are your 3 kids all from different men? Cos I can’t believe someone would be willing to fuck you more than once. -The tattoo you posted about is literally the least of your problems -somones still single 😂 -"Spend less time with your hand in a Doritos bag, and more time maintaining your brows." -You ve been single for 36 years ? -You look like a fat Italian version of the Joker! -When you ate them you made sure one wasn’t a rock right? -The kids' collective name is turkey-baster triplets. -Telling by the smile I’m guessing you have 3 baby daddies -I’m guessing your kids are triplets? As no one would do you twice! -"Wait, you’ve been laid three times??" -If u were green u would look like the grinch with that smile. -Kids are triplets right? Because I can’t believe someone would fuck you three times. -Be grateful you got laid 3 times. Now don’t expect any more lady because it ain’t happening. Hope your kids got papas looks. -Mom of three ? Someone did that more than once ? -"So lemme get this straight , somebody had sex with you 3 x? - -Isnt beastiality illegal?" -"Hallmark movie target demographic. - -Curl up alone in front of your TV with a bottle of barefoot wine and whatever lonely women eat to get that big." -You get way too excited to watch “Hocus Pocus” for the 50th time. -"I bet your kids have ADD... - -You've been passed around more times that a needle in a crack den." -Lmao why the fuck do you stick your tongue against the back of your teeth when you smile? Are you really so fat that your tongue can’t find enough room to fit in your mouth because of your enormous cheeks? -You should've stopped at one and might not be a single mom still. Or lost the pregnancy weight. Or did no one realize you were pregnant those 3 times? -"single mom of 3? working hard and alone to feed kids and make them happy and preprare them for life? no roast needed, you need a bust or a statue. stay strong" -Let me guess your dating profile says “I know my worth” you look like a whore obviously you let three different guys raw dog you -Really let yourself go huh? -"This girl tells you that she is a squirter, but in reality she just pisses on the floor and bed and isn't even potty trained." -"Single mom - -Life has already barbequed you - -There's nothing I can do" -"Single part not surprising, someone having fucked you 3 times is shocking." -Bayley ate her wwe title I see -"Mkay, take your classified dating ad back to Craigslist, where it was successful the last 3 times." -enjoy your single life 4ever -"Smart of you to delete your NSFW posts. - -You wouldn’t wanna be roasted on both fronts 😂" -Single Mothers: Not even *once* -if your an angel ill call you buffalo wings. -I bet you're the prettiest Steelers fan in your trailer park -Get your 4:3 stretched face outta here -"Single mom no doubt, minimum 2 dads" -"You get larger as I swipe thru the pics. - -3 is enough." -"They’re mixed, aren’t they?" -Nothing like having a body that screams professional mom. -"And here we see the Tricareitops like its cousin, the Dependapotomus, it is known to inhabit regions that are heavily populated by American military personnel. It is commonly attracted to them due to their access to subsidized housing, tax-free shopping, and the abundance of other young virile males with which it can hunt. - -The Tricareitops, preys upon young, impressionable military personnel, often bearing offspring to multiple victims, thus forming a negative symbiotic relationship. This creature will then stay in its lair ‘raising the offspring’ while its unfortunate mate is forced to work to support not only its own biological offspring, but also the offspring of the Tricareitops’ previous victims. - -As the Tricareitops has no will to work, it will claim its mate’s earnings to lavish itself with food and material goods under the guise of ‘taking care of its offspring.’ It rapidly gains weight while demeaning its mate for losing sexual interest in it. It then matures into its final form: a sinister, soul-crushing entity, dedicated to making the unfortunate mate’s existence into a state of abject misery." -"Hog tuah "" put some butter on that thang you get me """ -Honestly. WHY do people do this? Do you need attention or do you like to just feel bad? I’m not being a bitch. I just really want to understand this stupid ass trend. -Get your tubes tied and go spend time with your kids instead of looking for validation on here you waste of gov. Assistance - Stop DMing Mike Tomlin he’s never sending you a dick pic -"There's a blind man out there for you, somewhere." -At least the makeup matches her teeth color -I love how divorced moms call themselves single. -"No roasting, us single moms have to stick together :)" -You gravitate towards top down selfies because there is no lens with a wide enough angle. -Ngl no weird shi she’s actually pretty she ain’t gotta be dissed -What’s your number on that Steelers O-line ? -Why do people do this to themselfs! -No question about you’re single when you got that creepy smile going on. -100$ says all her ex's are skinny black dudes -"Bae… why you doing this? Roast me? Is this like when teenage cutters get old, and there’s no other way to act out? Help me understand. .Oh, one more thing.. stop stealing your kid’s snacks. For real. You buyin’ a six pack of Pop Tarts.. and then informing the kids they get ONE each. What? We not going to tell them what happened to the other 3?? Just stop" -Idk why everyone keeps getting pregnant like girls don’t have buttholes -You could definitely be a model.. for sleep apnea machines -You were a 3-4 without kids. Each kid deducts a point. Now you’re basically a 0. This isn’t a joke. I wish you the best of luck. -"must be triplets - -who would hit that 3 times?" -"McDonald's arch eybrows lol... def 3 baby daddys, because, well, you know why" -"They say if you want to see what a girl looks like when shes old, look at her mom. I really hope she has 3 boys ..." -You smile like you’re crapping yourself -It is harder to eat while you are crying. -Are they adopted? I’m surprised anyone would fuck you three times. -I see Kevin from The Office still hasn’t found a passable wig. -"Delete it all you want, we'll see it again at 43 single mom of 4 anyways" -I can already hear you yelling at some poor high schooler working at burger king cuz he won't let you use a paper coupon that expired last week. -"Being a single mother is no joke. They get twice the amount of ""yo momma"" jokes comparing to a married mom" -You have nice eyes for a dumb bitch -I always feel so sad when I read these comments and how cruel people can be. Lol. When I saw your pics I thought she seems so kind -Damn Jane Leno -You look exactly like your description -"You have lived your best years, only downfall from that age." -"standard dating app contestant; ""not looking for FWB or one night stands, ive got 3 kids and they ALWAYS come first!""" -"But, she has a 3 great personalities. The fourth has an STD." -Hes in a better place -"Get a job as a tug boat, be the boat." -"If you’re getting child support, you’re not a “single mom.” - -You’re a single woman. - -Wash your hair nasty thing." -Your smile looks like the Bat Signal :) -"These comments are disgraceful. Why would you do this to yourself? - -Stay happy" -"Take off that nose ring, you’re trying too hard to be a rebel." -At least the children can say later that they could have done better -Jay Leno got a sex change? -Roast you? 8-10 minutes per pound at 325 degrees at least. -"I'm sorry, I don't have a commercial sized oven." -"What are you doing here? - -Go take care of your kids!" -You look like you get degraded in bed and take a load to the face and apologize you aren’t enough still -Single mom of three chins. -Your kids tell 'my momma' jokes -Your smile is the Bat symbol -"Two guys can fuck her at the same time and still never meet. -- -Gives BJ’s like a bull dog eating custard.." -mother of three litters of puppies -3 dad's? -Lose about 60 LBS and you’d be pretty. -You must be so proud Miss Piggy was based off of you -"Listen, I know its hard being a single mom of 3, but you didn't have to eat your kids." -Single mom of 3 chins -"You gave birth to three? That's funny, judging by your bmi, I would have thought they were still inside you." -You’re more like a double or triple mom. Fatass. -"Black man's Dream girl. ""She a 3 but white so that's a Projects 6"" Are all 3 kids mulatto half breeds? Edit: What's in your hair? Fishing lures?" -"Nobody would put a ring on your finger, so you put one on your nose." -"The last time someone was honest with you, you thought they were just being mean and stopped talking to them" -When are the triplets due? -How did you get to 3??? -When do you give birth to all 3? -"Felt cute, might Roast Me later. - -/edit spelling/" -Looks like the typical Shitsburg fan. -"Well, you’re a Steelers fan, so it’s a hard pass. Go Bengals!" -You look like you smell like freezer burnt meat -You’re going to cry for years Rosanne. -Looks like the 4th kid is on the way. -"With that face, I'd need to put a paper bag on you while you blow me just to keep my erection" -What are the names of the three dads? -Your kids are gonna be devastated when they find out you’re the one beating Santa to the milk and cookies every Christmas. -comment -I get “smells like cat pee” vibes. -The cover of next month’s issue of Playboy featuring the Women of Narcotics Anonymous -"I mean...I could go for the obvious panhandler opioid addict couple vibes you exude...but I'm more shocked that dude has...only *one* key. That is honestly the most uncanny fucked up thing I've ever seen here and I've seen a lot of freak shows pass through. - -What fucking lunatic only has *one* key? Unless...are you guys actually just living in a storage unit near the corner you both give blow jobs for smack??" -If he shaves or you grow a beard you two are the same person -On the next episode of… Sister Cousins -You look like youve forced many people to listen to shit music. -Poor man’s Russel Brand pulls Poor man’s Russel Brand level pussy. -Senior year in High School has got to suck at 30. -"""Do your worst"" - -After what God has already done to you, it just seems mean spirited at this point." -Behold the new sitcom duo Skunk and Skank.  -Brother and sister got kicked out of the neo hippie loser commune for fucking each other -"If you’re looking for a band name, I’d suggest: The Unfuckables." -"Let me guess, you can fix him right?" -My dead grandmas tits are perkier than hers -You guys look like you spit out of time from a Fishbone concert from 92 -Did you meet in rehab or jail? -You ' re competing for the worst Mullet? -"""We're meth friends."" - -""Don't you mean best friends?"" - -""I know what I said!""" -how can both of you look like you can do better? He looks like someone that would buy stock in a bankrupt towel store and she looks like someone who would give an angry dry hand-job to someone that bought stock in a failing towel store. -Dude def has “only talks to 16 year old scene girls” vibes. -Don't know who is flatter him or her -Tatts and Flats -Smelliest couple at the halfway house -Crack and Tommy -"The toe shoes is enough, fuck everything else" -I know both of you put things up your butt -What a handsome gay couple. -"It's some sort of combination of meth, early 2000s goth/grunge and isolated apartment dweller" -Before and After comparison? -Creed sucks and Amelie likes to cook her heroin with a little creme brulee in the spoon. -Man màneskin has really gone downhill -Y’all look like gas station toilet turds that just won’t flush -You're both dating up and down at the same time. -13% raised on a 2 year old gofundme for a camper van -"Oh look, it’s wish.com Russell Brand and Zooey Daschanel" -Do you swap each others underwear as well as swapping clothes? -"Dude: put a shirt on -Chick: put a bra on - -Both of you: get haircuts and stop inbreeding please" -Looks like shift change at the douchebag factory. -Is this where the lead singer of Creed wound up? -"The chick on the left hasn't washed her feet for years. No those aren't shoes, just muck and dead skin. The chick on the right loves to lay down on her stomach, sling her tits behind her back, and go down on those toes." -Walmart brand Dave Navarro and Carrie Brownstein -It’s like rubbing two sticks together. -it looks like her tits and his looks are in a race to see which can hit the floor first. She's leading. -Siblings? Lovers? Both! -I bet the dude's credit rating is even lower than the girl's tits. -Tell that dude to put a bra on. -Pepe Le Pew and Penelope -Mac and Gail the Snail -Bonnie and Chlamydia -Bonnie and Clyde at the Methadone clinic -When the movie produces hire middle aged adults to play as teenagers -Y’all look like you work on the same assembly line together -"Snakemouth and That 70's Chick - -\- The new series on CW" -Are you sure you're not from some movie about a time traveling 90s alt metal drummer married to a groupie from the 70s? -The chick in yellow bangs the chick in black w her huuuge clit -Where is your “Will swing for change” sign? -I've never felt more pressured to ask someone's pronouns in my life -You look like NPCs in GTA San Andreas -It’s rip off Johnny silverhand and a registered sex offender -I can’t roast you guys as much as you roast your meth pipes 🤷🏻‍♀️ -Cosplaying the background characters from Daria? -Two pretty handsome fellas. Not much material to work with here. -"Yall smoked just a little too much meth one day, forgot you were siblings and fucked each other. After you woke up naked next to each other, you just decided to keep goin with the incestuous flow." -Having to post a couple roast…. Screams dependence. But makes sense since you two look like a brother and sister that are dating. -Wearing each other clothes is OK I guess -I cant tell if your 15 and he is 30 or if he is selling your body for crack -The White Trash Stripes -"When Dollar Store Russel Brand met Truck Stop Angelina Jolie. - -They look like lead tambourine and woodblock players for a band called ""Fart Supplies"". - -They look like they make their own vape juice in the bathtub." -Y'all both look like you spread HPV -You guys look like the reason incest is illegal in most places -"Wow. Looks like the picture you would use for bad decisions. - -He is the tattoo up wanna be bad boy who cries every time he gets new ink and she is the girl who left her middle class home to live with him in a trailer park. I am guessing both of their parents have disowned them and now they collect rain water to drink and shower with." -"These days, a person might get in trouble for roasting a couple of trans women." -I have to admit. Getting tattooed just for a Reddit roast is pretty hard core. -"SYD & NANCY 2024. -show me the hidden track marks and missing teeth." -If heroin was a couple. -Id say I’d trust you as far as I could throw you but I could probably launch both of you across a field -"This photo smells like a 2006 Toyota Corolla with 190,000 miles and 85 bumper stickers on it" -Happiest heroine addicts I've ever seen -I just wanna know...did you guys find out you were siblings before or after fucking? I could easily see either possibility. -Okay. So which one of you used to be a woman? -You look like a couple I’d see at an AA meeting -I caught VD just looking at this picture -I would definitely clutch my purse walking past you two -"If you averaged your footwear, you’d both be in Crocs." -Y’all look like youre in high school but shouldnt be allowed within 500yds of a high school -"No I don’t have a cig, leave me alone" -You two could switch heads and it would make no difference. -Before and after gender reassignment surgery -Those are not belts but bracelets holding their pants -You 2 have the same lockers behind you that the lesbian farmers who posted here earlier used in their post. Same hangers too. I guess by displaying that 1 key let's us know who's in charge. -Did microwave and sadurn do a collab? -Translucent skin stretched over alien frames. -I can smell the government housing from here -"The 1980's called, they want their haircuts back" -Intervention class of '97 -After and before transitioning -Discount Jesse and Jane from Wish -Nothing to roast just a nice photo of two sisters -Woah die antwoord looking good nowadays -I could replace your faces and no one could tell the difference -Russel Bland and Fiona Crabapple. -Wish version Mickey and Mallory Knox -Dave Grohl on Meth and Lesbian Arm Pit Hair Brett Cooper -I bet your apartment smells like all natural EVERYTHING. -"Siblings by blood, lovers by choice" -Those tiny banana titties are the worst -Nothing to roast... just two cool dudes enjoying the day -You look like you came fresh out of millenal stranger things. -Looking like Joe dirt and his inbred sister are off to and get there GEDs….. -You look like the couple in an amateur threesome where the guy quits halfway through and she just keeps going. -The dude on the right looks ridiculous without his mustache -"You have a single key and a USB thumb drive hanging from your belt? No car keys, how's the riding the bus like? You are as lame as that snake tattoo" -"hipster douche bags. be careful with those new stick on tattoos you pasty twats. they’ll come off when you take a shower. Sun light is a thing, you might know that if you ever left your moms basement. i’m glad you’re smiling with your mouths closed, but you don’t need to hide your amphetamine addiction- literally it’s written on fake loser faces." -She has Hair like Billy Ray Cyrus and tits like Billy Joel. -You look like you were Jane's Addiction's first roadie and the girl is the side piece who the band is named after. -Lonely Fans -Are they siblings? lol they look like twins -the left looks like the uncle you don’t leave around kids. Got a van full of puppies and candy. -You’re not who you think you are. -How has no one pointed out the barefoot shoes? -"You look like you share a wardrobe, and an uncle" -Lesbens -No need to roast either of you. Both have done a great job of doing that to themselves already. -Your poor parents. -I didn't even have to look to know you were wearing those stupid ass toe shoes. -"I'm not sure where to go with this roast; honestly, you're a good looking young man, and your girlfriend on the left has strong birthing hips & the soft features of a church girl." -Is that underwear elastic he's using for a belt? -"Whyd the guy on the left shave, cross dress and then photoshop themselves back into the photo?" -"There’s pegging going on, but I’m not sure who is the bottom." -That flash drive on your keys probably has some truly terrifying files on it. -"Look like a crack addict couple, one dosage away from overdosing in your trailer home." -Heroin and meth officially becoming a couple. -"Clearly, they got drunk and were supposed to cut each other's hair, but after he cut her hair they passed out." -Four hairy pits and musk strong enough to drop a buffalo. -This picture smells like cigarettes -You both look transgender -One-key-having narcotic sister-fucker -Which ones the dude? Cousins or siblings? -The toe shoes…barf -Is this the beginning of a narcan commercial? -Lesbian couples are cute -Krack head Ken and Barbiturate Barbie -"I would, but whoever let you outside like that already did" -You guys look like you wanna look like drug addicts so badly. Just commit already. -I can tell you guys have sour damp bath towels that you use for weeks. -Yall both look like the reverse gender of each other -Caption: That face you make when the director decides to swap roles and holes on the day of filming. -Why are you wearing each other’s hair? -He looks like he screams “I’m Your Brother-I’m Your Brother-I’m Your Brother” when she PEGS him…. -Dude has a beautiful smile and i can tell he doesn’t smile enough. The shoes tho -Y’all look like you came out of a time capsule…that was Buried 30 Years Ago. -"I can't. You need fat to roast something, but you guys look emaciated..." -hey it's those two people from that gtaV cut scene with trevor dropping off the two people from the hotel -Temu micky and Mallory -She looks like her pubes have dandruff j -You two look a bunch of freeloading hippies. -Looks like you got left back and your repeating the 14th grade -Look like the main characters of a book written by Meth. -"I get older, they stay the same age." -"They may be only be 50% as cool as they want to be, but they're 100% unemployable" -"I don’t have to roast you, Satan will do that when you pass." -The guy looks like the hunter from open season -Bill and Teds inbred adventure. -You look like you have the face swap filter on all the time. -"When they say the porn industry chews you up and spits you out, they were dead on." -Thought this was a “where are they now” for Die Antwoord -She’s got the illustrious she mullet n he has wwe video game tattoos -Two homeless people cosplaying Die Antwoord -you look like you’d be casted in stranger things or heart stopper -You look like you try to tell your kids about Hoobastank while they sit on their iPads and ignore you. -Really? A grey background? Ick -She’s got a bigger bulge than you. -This you? https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/NugNTTXtR9 -Buddy likes when she farts in his mouth and oh boy does she look gassy -When you fuck does it sound like two skeletons clanking into each other? -bill and Teds horrible adventure -This is why you don't fuck your dealer. -Just 2 30 year year olds trying to get through senior year. -Tell us which is the male first -"You hate your parents and your entire lifestyle is funded by them. - -Bunch of dorks." -Y’all look like you came straight out of a dreamworks movie. The guy looks like the hunter from open season just in different clothing and I can see this woman looking like Boog’s human mother. Y’all look like y’all both just came from a rock and roll session with the band. Looking like you’re about ready for a world tour with that sign that says “roast me” like that’s the name of your next song….well anyway I hope you enjoyed the roast. You said to give my worst and I did. Hope you didn’t take it too personally. Honestly you look like great people and happily love each other -"Guy looks like if Lalo from Better Call Saul and Earthling Ed on YouTube had a kid and forced said kid to listen to nothing but Nickelback their whole life leading into adulthood, and the girl just honestly looks like every other bra-less, colorful t-shirt + jeans style girl in the background of every 80's music video ever. - -Hope y'all are having a good day. Lol" -You look like you smell like Post Malone's nut sack -You look like hipsters that discovered meth -I love that there’s a Junior College for Carnival work. Good for y’all. -Jack n Jill went up the hill each with a buck n a quarter -Cast for Brown Bunny II. -Fent is the new black -"Sorry ca, yall are a cute couple, I'd like to have a three way with yall" -"That dude has those shoes on that have individual sections for his toes, I can’t roast what’s already charred." -I can’t tell which one of yous is the girlfriend in your relationship -The drugs hit Jesus hard. -No need for a girlfriend when your sister can’t wait to crawl onto your face watching porn… -Would ask siblings or dating but I already knew the answer is both -You could switch clothes and hair styles and I think it would be an improvement for both of you. -Looks like Nickleback had sex with itself and made something worse than (insert any Nickleback album you can name). -Emo brother takes emo sister to sex club. -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -"Is this what you wanted to be when you grew up, a video game character selection menu?" -You catching a manslaughter charge if you sneeze in that weak ass polo shirt -I kept scrolling through pics to change the outfit and out of habit I was hoping to get to the part where I could change your facial expression. This game only gives the option to change the shirt though apparently -You stand like a toddler waiting to be picked up. -Enthusiastically showcasing your entire wardrobe -"When your body says BEAST, but your eyes say PRINCESS." -brotha uses a whole tube of chapstick in one swipe -50 Scents -Bros mouth was installed upside-down -CJ maxed out on strength but nothing else -"You have the perfect ""my brother is a successful athlete"" build" -If he steps on a thumbtack he will deflate. -You look like you’ve been holding in a fart all day long. -Create-a-Character looking motherfucker. -"Ok, you took the pictures, you can exhale now" -"“How did you know?! I LOVE this song!” - -🎶 making my way downtown 🎵🎶" -you look like a npc whos animations aint loaded yet -Why are all your selfies at the airport? -Bro your lats aren’t big enough to justify that stance in 3 photos -I can almost guarantee all those shirts are available in a larger size. -You look like you sell family plans at Verizon -"You’re already black, no need to suck in the gut." -Wearing shirts for teens just to look bigger. Smh. -It's nice that the prison you're in let you model some clothes for the cell block fashion show -"""Maybe people will like me more if I can lift more weights""" -okay you can have my corn bread -"Legit thought it was a police lineup, but after about 20 minutes I think it’s the same guy? Could be wrong though." -"""Even me know crypto not real money""" -You are like the kid from a Christmas story - I can’t put my arms down! -"You look like you prefer to date big white women. And surprise! Judging by your previous posts, I am correct." -Bros the body guard outside the strip club in gta5 -"""i already know im ugly 🥺🥺🥺"" pick me! choose me! love me!" -Gymbro Slice -You are what the sketch artist draws whenever a boomer describes a 'suspicious guy' in their neighbourhood -Kanye East -"Your character when you try on clothes in GTA, San Andreas:" -I can only imagine that your teeth are absolutely janky -I’m going to need to see a birth certificate there’s no you’re a day under 37 -His favorite piece of gym equipment is his sports bra. -Are you interested in a career as a store mannequin? -"If he stops holding his breath, his muscles will deflate." -First 3 pics he's carrying suitcases -"When god doesn’t bless you with a BBC, so you take steroids to make up for having a tiny pecker." -Create a character with the face stuck on duck face.  -"“I ain’t saying shit to you. You’re scary as hell looking.” - -*walks down the block, gets in car, locks down, starts engine, puts it in drive, and barelyyyy cracks the window before yelling back* - -“…which is exactly what your daddy said before putting a brown bag over your mama’s ugly ass face 24 years, and 9 months ago.” - -Vrrrrrrrrroooom!" -Kevin hart and Kanye’s butt baby -You roast this guy and he shows up at your house in all camo to knock you tf out -Your nipples look just as aggressive as your record -NPC stance -"Can you give us a picture without the beard? - -You grew it because you got tired of people thinking your bottom lip was your chin right?" -Bartender: You’d be so much prettier if you smiled -"Bro T poses like a Bethesda NPC. - -Honestly bro, you gotta have better self esteem you’re not ugly at all.. n’ built like a brick-shithouse." -I can feel your fist on my face through the internet. I will not be roasting you. -The top button of that polo shirt is begging you to size up -Bruh you need fix ur beard. It looks a pubič hair. I dont know how tall u r. But that build doesnt fits u. You like a walking thick pitbull -Your face looks racist. -When you pretend you can’t put your arms down -Idris Ewwba -Why are you standing like an avatar for a video game? -"If you spent as much time in class as you did in the gym, you wouldn't have to work the door at Hooters After Dark!" -He can lift a ton but can’t spell it. -***Locks the door*** -How the hell do you look like a generic NPC from GTA? Bro over here looking like background gang member #5. -"When your relatives buy you clothes that don’t fit for christmas, but your mom makes you put them on for the thank you photo." -Has there ever been a more obvious anonymous profile r/smalldickproblems poster? 6’3 and jacked with a cool 4 inches. It’s ok bro -"Mom, can we have Kanye West? - -We have Kanye West at home. - -\*Kanye West at home\*" -"Bro, you are not ugly. You just do not know how to choose clothes that fit." -"Are you intentionally mimicking an under armour mannequin? If so, well done, if not, put your arms down my person" -"Bro we get it, you have a snatched waist." -Steroids are fun because your clothes shrink at the same rate as your balls. -First time ive ever been annoyed by how someone stands -"IMO not that ugly, but why TF you stand like you're getting 3D scanned in every picture. I'm rolling picturing family photos and your ass just out there like a video game character model." -24 ? Mofucka you look 34 damn . -"I know it’s supposed to be a roast but bro you are a good looking dude in great shape, I could think of girls I know right now that would go for you keep ya head up" -Apollo Dweeb -Beautiful smile - same size as the shirts you wear. -Kanye East -You hold yourself like you have big lats. But you don't have big lats. -Oh sorry it’s roast me my bad. I mean you too beefy and big lipped. Looking like Debo wanna big kiss -At least you’re only 3/5 ugly. -Bro out here with his “Does not compute” lookin ass -" -Ah, the gentleman prefers a size “SMedium “”." -Bro looks like he’s ready to take the highest bid at todays auction -"Wow, how’d you get the camera into the jail?" -"Bro put your arms down, your not as big as you think you are." -This is not grinder. -Yooo handsome squidward looking ass -Do they id you at Baby Gap when you buy shirts? -"Looks like the cop from cloudy with a chance of meatballs, dude be yelling ""FLInt LOCKwUD"" randomly" -"Ffs, put your damn arms down, you look ridiculous" -You’re doing great! -You’re a good sport -Did op confuse this sub with r/Roidme -"Bro is fucking BUILT but got the energy of Matt from Wii Sports - -I swear I've seen you in the red from state farm - -Jojo bizzare adventure type of vibes to the club deadass" -"Nah dude, you are a chad" -"This is what would happen if a hybrid of 50 Cent, Kanye West, Jon Jones, KSI and The Great Khali was a ""Create the character"" lookin ahh mf irl." -Theres nothing really to roast bro. You're a Greek god. All I can even say negative about the pics is your never smiled. Show them pearls king -"You look like you eat 2 dozen raw eggs and a whole buffalo every morning and run 5 miles to work just to be the most JACKED barista at Starbucks. - ->! (Srsly tho, post your workout routine. I'm tryna lose 20 pounds, not my girl.) !<" -Jake from State farm -"I ain't roasting shit. You look like you could remove my bone density, the turn me into a marble" -Your day job is standing in a mall display window -Gott work on your aura bro -Your depression is much worse than your looks. -You have a condition called Lloyd Banks Mouth. -This man has no legs. -I bet that your on so many roids that you can't get it up -Bro stands like he just got spawned into the server -I bet you’d do well on the field -"“Choose your character” ahh pose -“You haven’t unlocked this character”" -Your shirt selections don’t change the fact that you indeed are still ugly -Whatcanta -You look like you're holding your breath in each photo. Not ugly though -Ok but dude your not ugly -GTA NPC -...Did your mom tell you that you have to pose like a pretty princess for each outfit?? Or is that your own original idea -"All that weight lifting and you still ain’t got no -Hoes" -Dude is built like the 🧍‍♂️emoji -"“Boss, I’s scared of the dark”" -Lmao all this bih pictures look like you creating a video game character -bro looks like he ate frank martin and acquired his facial characteristics -Look like the guy Vitaly and YG caught trying to meet a 15 year old boy. -That first pic says Wakanda forever!!!!! -How is your emoji use in the comments more expressive than your face in these photos? -Why you trying to curtsy or fly in every photo… -When you create Lloyd Banks in NBA Live 06. -Brother looks like a box of milk duds that someone forgot in the trunk of their car. -Kanya meh. -Why do you look like an overinflated blow up doll? -Why’s bro built like a GTA NPC -Why does he look like he has an air hose up his ass? -Handsome as hell 😍😍😍😍 -You look like you speak in grime. -Legitimate question for this and all the other knuckle-dragging roided up freaks out there- how do you scratch you back when your arms barely even fit on your stupid bodies any more like that? It's ridiculous. -You’re the king of hide and seek in the dark. -If Jake from Statefarm and Dwayne Johnson had a son -UFC X NBA -Me! Me! Give me attention I am desperate for it. -Bro looks like a fit version of the cop from cloudy with a Chance of meatballs -"I have no idea how to explain this, but your own pictures seem racist 😂" -You have Such fine deportable features -"Sloth in human form. T arms for life, SON!!!" -Are you always cold or something -"surprisingly smooth knuckles, haven't been doing much walking recently?" -You're compliment fishing. That is my roast of you -I bet you can’t look angry lol -Finishing for compliments is unbecoming. -"sorry man but sincerely you are not ugly at all! A lot of attractiveness is confidence, and you definitely have the facial bone structure to rock it. Just might want to keep your shoulders down or there's something else about your posture that feels off. - - -i know that's not what you were looking for but i didn't like to see you criticize yourself like that" -Bro is black -"Don't you just hate it when someone starts out their post with, ""I know I'm ugly, "" but they're built like a damn brick shit house!" -Just the 4 seasons of his mugshotss. -Resources/Models/Civilian/civilian_003 looking ahhh -When you grow up in the hood and can't afford a real mr.potatohead. and you gotta settle for this character -"Why do these pictures make it look like its your first day on earth, and you're trying SO HARD to blend in? -The design is very human." -You look like a background NPC for Spider-Man 2 -Touch your hands behind your back. I dare you! -"Hey look, The Rock and Kevin Hart had a baby" -"2nd pic looks like your nips is picking the cotton from your shirt 👕 😄 - -Love and respect 🙏 🫡" -"Guy got caught with his hands on his hips and said ""never again""." -Ur little brother runnin around with no shirts on cause you took them all -Kanye if he focused on weights and not jews -Bro wore in different colours so that we know that's not his body part😶 -Your lips look like I accidentally adjusted them too much while making you to suffer in the sims -Why is everyone on this subreddit attractive and then just fishing for compliments? Lol  -Bro tried to pull that 8 Mile move where you say it before your enemy can. News flash buddy you’re not eminem youre that roided out dude he smoked -"You’re not ugly - -You’re my favorite default character from NCAA 14" -"You look like a kid in elementary school that pushed his hands against a door frame for 30 seconds so they would ""float up"" on their own." -"I'm honestly kinda scared to roast you man, I'm scared you would either fight me or smooch me with those lips puckered up like that." -Personality of a pig who workout but sole soul of an angry bird. -"You are like a math problem, every negative people say is adding to a positive to me. But I am a bi dude so take that as you will." -"24?! I guess the saying black don’t crack, does not apply to you" -If you are happy and you know it clap your hands. -You look like you kiss with your eyes closed real tight. -Perfect lips silky smooth lookin ass .. -I think it's sweet that you still wear the shirts your mother bought you in high school. -Look at the definition! …on the top of your pointy-ass head -You look like P Diddy's angry nigerian cousin -"Damn, I guess those prison gyms are getting pretty good now..." -My man used his color as a shirt on that 1st pic. -You look like an npc in gta who looks tough but is super weak and gets shot to the ground all the time -"He looks like he's stuck in a customizing game for boys, and not the high quality resolution ones, the ones with a bucha ads and with little to no clothing options." -You look like you’re trying to be oppressed. “Please bully me I’m gay! How dare you offer me this job I’m not qualified!! -It looks like your neck is reaching out to try to keep your giant dome from floating away. -"That second photo gives strong ""manager at the Target deep in the hood"" vibes." -Why you look like a default? -What you training for ? The uglympics ? -"Based on your caption, sounds like you hit the gym hard so that people would only refer to you as ugly, and not fat and ugly." -Franklin Clinton? -Every single one of your pictures looks like your mom just told you to “put this shirt on so I can see if it fits you”. -Office Linebacker: Terry Taint -"I don't know about ugly, but based on these poses, you might be a early video game model for a background character." -"""Super Predator"" if it was a comic book character and not just a racist dog whistle." -Franklin Clinton if he didnt get rid of that old yeeyee ass haircut he had going on -WAHHH I’m ugly give me compliments Wahhhb -Is your fsce paralyzed -They not like us -You ain't gonna look like that forever muscle man. -405 bench & 405 FICO -You look like the Nigerian mastermind behind the Jussie Smollett hoax. -Bro looks like the bouncer for a sperm bank -"I bet your legs are skinny AF bwoy. Leg day skipping ahh. Big and tall for show, all for me to punk you with my Sig Sauer. We not even gon’ address your DSLs too much either bruh" -Musclehed -Putting the roast aside. Bro is JACKEDDDDDDD -"Black, on unemployment and disability. Doesn’t bring a quarter when he visits Aldi." -"In the 2nd photo, you look like Jake from State Farm’s personal bodyguard. It’s definitely the top button." -You got the create a character pose 💀all joke aside I would not mess with you -Default black character in video games -kanye and lebrons baby -"Bro is "" choose your outfit""" -"Calm down, you asked us to roast you. You can relax your body." -"Tank top screaming, “LOTTO I DONT FIT YOU” lol" -Turn to the right! -Looks like you fell out the womb lips first. -Have they taken out that support rod from your arse yet? -Let’s try a smile OP. I’m sure it can light up someone’s day 👍 -"Never seen a woman with a beard before, but considering that, I have seen uglier women." -comment -You’re on track to be the worst mother in law the world has ever seen. -You look like you eat spaghetti with your hands. -Indian AND Italian? It must suck having to shave your entire face/body three times a day. -Indian and Italian? I bet you can fan an entire room with all the hand gesturing! -"You look like that RomCom character whose entire purpose is to make her friend, the main character, look attractive." -Italian and Indian yet you look like you make your espresso too weak and your chai too bland -"Imagine how hairy this broad is, winter coat all year round." -You are the face that started the tradition of dowry in India. -What are you microwaving at work? -You have the smug look of someone who scares syphilis. -Does your manager from the call center know you're wasting time posting romance scams here? -Ah yes the nose ring of low self-esteem -31 is also the number of months you have not paid your rent. -"Half Italian, half Indian, full obnoxious trash." -"31 and still playing the “when I grow up, I want to be a ___” card? Nice. Milk it. - -Also, good job making me slightly afraid of 2 of my 3 favorite cuisines. At least I can take solace in the fact that I won’t have nightmares of street tacos asking me how they taste in a deep, baritone voice." -Wannabe nurse? Sounds like someone aged out of being a bottle service girl... -You are like a white girl that states she is half black -You’re the human version of two buffets with low health department ratings -"Putting ketchup on naan to make a pizza, doesn't count as being Italian." -You look like the stunt double for Jamie Fox's Wanda on In Living Color -I hope your patients can handle the penetrating stench of garlic and turmeric -She’s a nurse at an Italian Strip club. -You look like your transgender operation didn't work well -that is one respectable moustache. -Is the Italian in the room with us? -Are you sure about this sir? -You have the face shape of a cruiser bike seat -You look like your only fans is free…. -baguette shape naan -My wife looked over my shoulder and said you have a specimen quality Homo erectus skull and mandible set. True story. -Never been roasted cause already burnt  -Literally got the worse Indian and Italian genes 😂 -why is she mewing 😭 -Chewbaka would have an inferiority complex  -Men in Bangkok are more appealing -Aziz Ansari and Chris Rock had a love child that transitioned? -The shade aint right! I can still see your face -Indian and Italian? You should run for prime minister of Italy. -So Your queefs smell like old Pizza and Curried goat -You look like if you were wiped with a sheet of paper it would go transparent. -You look like you have indian chai running in your veins. Italian? Still 3 generations away -I can't decide if you'd be better to play Lord Farquaad or Shrek in the Bollywood version of Shrek. -Guess what them muscular fingers do -This is not the transgender sub. -"You look like Mindy Kalings bitch sister, who uses her name to make you appear to have personality." -"If you’re here, who’s at the Kwik-E-Mart?" -"Things you never experienced: -- being roasted -- being told that you look beautiful -- being told by your parents that they are proud of you -- being talked to after someone finished in you" -Uses Veet for men on her top lip -You look like you smell like unwashed hair and parental disappointment. -"before posting your pic for the public to see, you may want to re-apply your lipstick after giving head" -31 and wannabe? girl you’re halfway done with life -Hottest chick at the call center -Forgets to respond to her text. She boils your cat. -The god already sent you ROASTED on this planet mate -"Your lips are overfilled, I can see the filler mustache… unless that’s a real mustache" -Sofia Low-rent! -Rajuuuuuuuuuu -"Wannabe nurse at 31? Looks like you’ve been taking “slow and steady wins the race” way too seriously. At this rate, you’ll be checking bedpans when you should be cashing in your pension." -you look one of those indian scam call center agents -You eat bacon with your vagina. -With looks like that you should only be playing with cadavers -This looks like the box art of a really bad euro porno I would have rented in college. -She looks like she can outsource a mean Chicken Tikka Pizza. -Are you looking at the camera or at the wall next to you? -more like Willem Dafoe wannabe -You would win the year’s supply of wax if you entered the hipster mustache prize. -So Snooki hooked up with one of the call center guys? -"Not sayin she has a lazy eye, but that thing is sitting on the couch eating Cheetos and playing Xbox all day." -I fully support your MtF transition -You look like you could use some humiliation to de-tan those charred lips -She looks like she’s about to ask you if you wanna take the blue pill or the red pill. -She going to make Italian food with an Indian twist by not washing her hands. -I have never been so aroused by a man in a wig my whole life. -That one nurse in movies who always gets fucked by the doc -When did you transition? -You were roasted at birth my guy. -You 100% look like Mike Tyson with a wig! -"Excuse me, sir. I think you’re on the wrong thread." -Looks like you eat Italian and shit Indian 😂 -"Finally, our very first Dotted Daigo" - 🗿 -"You don't have a face for nursing , have you thought about classroom support at a school for the blind" -You look like you should be on the hood of a Mack Truck. -Post op or pre op? -Not a roast but why the smug look on your face? -I can see who the man of the relationship is -"""HOW CAN SHE ROAST?"" ""HOW CAN SHE ROAST?""" -"If Dominic saw you, he would say you're not family." -Keke Pee-eww -I hope you become a nurse because you’ll have to nurse yourself back to health after this roast -"If you wear lip liner, you probably look like you have a mustache" -"You look like Athena, pornstar shame" -"If you’re going to be a nurse, may I suggest working at an old folks home? You may hear a racist thing or two, but at least none of the old men will fondle you." -She’s got that Gabagool and can thank you come again -"So you’re a cna? Guys, flirt for 6 minutes and you can easily smash." -You look like you wine and whine. -"The most popular nurse at the sperm bank... - -Thank you, cum again." -Indian + Italian = Honduran -Liar your skin looks like you been roasted one to many times  -Interesting genetics but the looks department didn’t pan out as expected. Can’t figure out why you don’t look right… -You look like the child of an Indian escort that mistakenly got pregnant by the crimson chin -Loves to meditate over a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs while floating down the Ganges. -You will serve patients’ meals with your feet. -Lips look like two fat snails trying to fuck -You look like you won't be considered for Arranged Marriage in India. -You look at-least part roasted -"Let me take a guess at your life. Your mom was a maid and had an affair with the man of the house. Little guidojeet was the product of this affair. Grew up to be a confused young man so he successfully transitioned into a woman. Unfortunately, that 5 o'clock shadow is very telling and should do something about it. Good day!" -Smells like a combo of garlic and body odor. -"Being Indian and Italian sounds good on paper, but you got 100% of the greasiness and 0% of the exoticness of both cultures." -shamima begum with a filter! -You’ve definitely been roasted. You just don’t know it. -How far along into transition are you? -Did you have a stroke this morning? -Transgendered Great Kahli -Looks like you pay homeless men to suck their dick. -Indian+IT? ouch lawnmowing the face must be expensive -I call bs on the never been roasted -No he looks like he spaghetti with his feet and cuts the pasta with his toe nails. -"You just roasted yourself, no need for more." -This picture has a visible stench -Didn’t win the gene pool lottery eh? -Commas are your friend -You might be the manliest woman I've ever seen -Are you Indian or black? Half the country couldn’t tell the difference a few weeks ago. -"Sweetheart, we all know you have way more DNA in you than just two nationalities, Reddit knows." -Dude chill -You look like someone who doesn’t push their chair in after they leave -You look like someone sprinkled cheddar cheese on a naan and called it a Pizza. -youre already roasted -Alert the authorities! We have another escape from the call center! -Mindy Failing -You look like the mom and dad of Bruno Mars at the same time. -You look like you came out of the great kahli. -"As a half Italian half Indian, the only job you can get that won’t disappoint either parent is a doctor that mafia bosses take their henchmen to when they need medical treatment but can’t go to the ER because they were injured doing a crime" -Michelle Hodrigues -I can't. U already did -you look like you're post op -"If God exists, God drew you with the left hand." -Idk I’d smash but I feel that once naked id feel embarrassed being less hairy than u -Can’t roast you. Your too fucking fat and won’t fit on the grill also don’t wana get All that grease in ya hair on my corn and veggies. 🥦. Go jog like your being chased by a serial stalker for a few weeks daily then come back and check in with me again. -Sure youre not black? -Mindy Failing -"When the Indian head gestures and Italian hand gestures match perfectly, you will turn into a Perpetual Motion machine." -"A few years back, I had food poisoning. Man, after days of non-stop fire hose shitting and wiping, my poor little butthole was beat to hell. - -If someone snapped a pic of it and photoshopped it over your lips, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference if my life depended on it." -And toasted -Honestly pretty damn good looking for a dude -"Just saw your face, the first thing in the morning.. My day is ruined" -You probably smell like an old apartment hallway while everyone is cooking. -Lentil Spaghetti Al Vindaloo -Find her content on OnlyScams -Suddenly pineapple pizza seems like the second worst Italian fusion thing. -"You look like you've got a zip tie between your nose piercings, cinching them together..." -"New poster child for the ""Resting Bi#@ face""." -You look like you overdosed on tika masala and a truck ran you over so you decided to get a skin graph -You look like you would be unburdened by what has been. -You've never been roasted because the circus is overcharging. -You look manly af -are you pressing your face against glass? -Stop playing bro. -"I dunno, you look extra cooked" -Not just wannabe nurse. Wannabe female too. Thas a dude. -Your mother-in-law stare is on point. I genuinely fear you. -Life has roasted you enough already. Just imagine if your surname is 'gandhi' -There's nothing like the smell of onions mixed with garlic. I can smell your breath and pores through my ethernet cable. -"Wow, you’re ugly in both Italian and Indian." -"Oh come on, this is one of the Wayne’s brothers isn’t it!!" -You can't just want to be italian you are or your not lol -Why would you get those awful lip fillers at such a young age? -You look like Cassie... if Diddy kept beating her -You look like the after photo of Zendaya when she starts getting plastic surgery and injections. -When tmobile sent a text and asked how your customer service was... I gave you a 1. -Wannabe? They literally walk you through it how are you struggling -Aren’t you supposed to working at a call center selling scam extended warranties for pasta makers? -You look like you’re more toxic than the Ganges River. -You look like a Mexican donkeyshow contestant. -I bet your dates are surprised when they see your pants bulge. -"She seems to have that aura. You know the one… -“That’s okay baby… I forgive you. Just go to sleep now…”" -You look like Tyler Perry but this time as a young Madea -Your OF is free. -I didn’t know Charles Barkley had a daughter -This the result of the scraps of whatever cells made M.I.A. -Doesn’t your family run the 7/11 that sells Gabagool? -Made it out of the scam call center to work in a scam clinic selling poorly done plastic surgery -You look like a Bond Villain… not one of the good ones… one of the bad stereotype ones from the 60s and 70s… -Please don’t shit in the street -"Two cultures known for creating beautiful women, and you look like that??" -Somehow your asshole is darker than your eyes. -Curry and Garlic.... -I see a spate of unexpected deaths at the old age home you finally work at. -There's a Lawrence Fishburne contest at the local drag club tonight. -Hey tell ur people how to fucking shower and how to not mass produce -"Don’t worry, if you want to be a nurse but can’t be one? No worries, the porn industry has a thing for women who want to roleplay being a naughty nurse while they get fucked! XD ;p" -I can smell you hrough this image -You installing a urine catheter will take the most time among all your colleagues -I just want to know why every single mid girl on here recently wants to crochet her own tops? Is this a new mental illness/insecurity thing? -Your face is the consequences of all your ancestors having shit taste -Can you tell your husband to stop calling my number I don’t owe 10k in taxes -Bruna Mars -Didn't know meloni and modi already had a child ? -"If you were running for President of the United States, I wouldn't vote for you." -"So wannabe nurse....more like wannabe italian. - -When you Look 0% italian why would you mention this?" -"I think she called me a few days ago. - -Caller: “Sir. I’m calling from the Federal Financial Management Office. We have you owe money for the year 2022. We can settle this over the phone if you buy a green dot card. You owe $159.12. Can you get a green dot card right now?”" -I see no Italian at all. Italian cause her dad was named Luigi Patel probably. -"You call yourself an Indian Italian wannabe nurse? With that level of confidence, it sounds like you’re on track to becoming a full time WebMD diagnostician. Also, balancing those two heritages, your life must be a battle between naan and gnocchi, though judging by that facial expression, you’re clearly losing the war to a breadstick. - -As for the picture, you’ve got the lighting working overtime trying to make you look angelic, but it just screams “Please like my post or I’ll start posting motivational quotes in cursive fonts.” That nose ring combo is bold, like you’re one moon phase away from opening a crystal shop. And holding that pink sticky note looks like you were about to write down the number for a therapist but decided self inflicted humiliation was cheaper." -Nice try with 'F'. No one is buying it. -Sorry about the election -You're Indian. You have most definitely experienced being roasted lololol -Female *now*..... -"Even with the wig on, we know you have a penis" -That’s a strong jawline you have there. -you look like a trans mutated zendaya -"Bro, you need a haircut." -Got the whole Michelle Obama man look goin on. -I can smell your armpits from here. Also do you wipe with your hands? -comment -you look like a lollipop dropped on a carpet -Was your soulmate your hair? -Bro just shave your head and let the hair go -"But if you’re on here, who is attacking 1992’s Gotham city with aquatic birds?" -How do you look masculine and feminine 40 and 20 and young and old in the same time ? -Even Chris Hansen would leave you alone. -"This has to be ai, no way anyone really looks like this." -OMFG. Is that a glory hole behind you? You can be fired for using social media on the job… -Jesus Christ. -"Bruh just shave, you look like skin soup" -"If you aren't currently on chemo, you should be." -Why is your species so fascinated with anal probing? -Apparently your hair decided to leave you as well. -Was your soulmate 50% of your atoms? You looking like Smeagol mid transition. -"Look, I get that this is a roast. And while I could waste time saying that you look like John Lovitz' aborted twin, instead I'll say this. - -Shave that fucking head. You're adding a dozen years and several levels of hopelessness trying to hang on to what's left. It won't be perfect. It still won't look good (you being you and all), but it will look 100x better than this monstrosity." -"Let’s be honest, you’re giving hope to so many INCELs. If you can get a partner then literally anyone can!" -Was your soulmate testosterone? -You're so hideous even the glory hole behind you closed up shop and sealed itself off -"Your picture is an amazing reminder about how powerful the human mind can be. As I look at you, I see optimism in your eyes; a glimpse of hopefulness about your distant future. It is truly remarkable when you consider the mental gymnastics it must take to have your face and, despite the odds, still have that very-faint spark of life. Remarkable!" -You did something extremely unforgivable in a past life. -JFC what am I looking at here?! Please don’t breed. -I can’t tell which way you’re transitioning. Just that it’s halfway done -"Hey, so Im confused. No hate, I dont mean to make fun of you, but are you a man or a woman?" -Ditch the ring in the ocean or something..you can do it. -Fuck. How far do you have to stay away from schools? -"Nice hair, keep it this way 😄" -"Whatever that hole in the wall is, you absolutely have used it as a fleshlight" -I wouldn’t trust you around children. -You look like 72 genders isn’t enough -Being genderless is overrated -"When Mozes wanted to split the red sea he used your face as visual cue.. - - -He also used it to supress all sexual desires to remain celibate." -Bro do you need a hug? -"""soulmate left for someone else"" - -So the girl you had locked in your basement passed away." -Jfc what a sad sight to see -You know shit's really bad when you ask for a roast and instead you get tips on how to improve your looks... -Like someone’s put glue on his head and rubbed him around a pub carpet. -You’re the first person ever dumped because you gave your partner too much head. Impressive. -If Jon Lovitz and Gollum had a child and that child was 8 rounds of chemo. -Looks like life has roasted you enough -"Just saw the shaved pic. - - -Well done Lars." -Frodo has the one ring now. That what he means by soulmate left. -You look like both a young jon lovitz and an old Jon lovitz -"By soulmate leaving you for someone else, you mean Bilbo took the ring from your cave?" -"You know when you see a burn victim and it scares the children and everyone has to look away? Well, that’s who his soul mate left him for" -It’s so brave to take a selfie at the glory hole. -32M Transitioning to Gollum. -"I can understand why your soulmate left, with him being the only other alien on the planet and the founder of Facebook it makes sense." -"For the last time, Smeagol, it's just a ring, not your soulmate, and it's that Baggins bitch's problem now." -How do you have the face of a baby and an old man at the same time? -"I can't even roast you, life beat me to it." -Why they look like a 20 yo with a bright future got fused with a 50+ yo drunk divorced dad -If detransitioning had a mascot -Kids with cancer look at you and thank God they don't have whatever it is you have. -"I'm not certain you'll survive this experience; *extremely* risky behavior, my friend. You might want to talk to someone... professional, so to speak. Have faith, it *might* get better... (however unlikely)" -‘Get off my train!’ -Well can you blame… uh….them? -"You mean Hobbits? They stole your soulmate, right?" -You’re the most unfortunate looking person I’ve ever seen. -I’m sure you’ve heard it all the way up to your hairline -"This isn't the first time this has happened, is it?" -If this new “Monster Verse” family of films takes off you could have a long and illustrious career playing Igor. -God really broke the mold when He made you... probably so no one could make that mistake twice. -You look like the typical redditor -Was your soulmate an evil ring? -I now know who Lester in GTA5 was modeled on. -This is like if Rachel Dratch played the “Pam” character on SNL -I almost say Jon Lovitz but he actually has a hairline. -clown without makeup -Damn. Humpty Dumpty really grew up! -You look like sids baby head toy from toy story -"Dude, go hit gym, shave that head of yours, grow some .. well posted here so do have some balls. But the point is, be better than yesterday. You already look defeated, and face screaming no more... -Hope you follow some advice and all the best!" -Bro...just buy a new body pillow 🤷 -"“I’ve heard it all” - -Yeah, except “nice haircut”." -Tricksy hobbitses -I appears your hairline is also running away. -whats that worms name from corpse bride -Dude of course your soulmate left. No one wants to f*ck Gollum. -yea clearly no need to roast becasue the top of ur head already got roasted -"Soulmate left for someone else, and he sealed up the glory hole behind him when he left." -Disgusting..no not you. I mean the shit hole to your left. You look like a kind and polite soul. -I don’t even know what you are -"""Why go to see Metallica live? We have Lars Ulrich at home!"" - - -This is the Lars Ulrich we have at home" -Your hair did the right thing and left with em -"I can't tell if you're trying to be a woman or a man 🤷. Either way, no" -"Technically not a roast but if they left for someone else, they ain’t your soulmate" -Just shave it off dude. -"I literally can't even tell what gender you are, and what the actual fuck is that hair just shave your head at that point." -"Have you thought about getting an image specialist / stylist? You don't deserve to be made fun of for not doing anything wrong. - -I hope you find peace within yourself to be your very best. ♡" -Can I hug you instead? -"I’m sorry your mother took your cum sock, I’m sure you’ll find another one!" -Bro I am so sorry you were left by those filthy hobbitses -Brother ew -If you stuffed Lars Ulrich with playdough and squeezed.... -Your soul mate stole your hairline -You ever heard of the company Dignitas? -This is why abortion should be legal. -Everyone is terrified that it’s your face on the other side of a glory hole. -"Let the hair go, dude." -Teenage Fester? -So what you're saying is that the Precious is lost? -Your head is like an uncircumcised d**k 😹 -Low quality fox version of chop top from the texas chainsaw 2 -It gets better -This is less of a roast and more of a hair intervention -YAY u ready to mingly imagine all the por basterd in a table relationship with all the head tied to their waysts atleast yours can feel the wind bloesem truh your scallep🍰 Babycakes -https://makeagif.com/gif/scary-movie-2-dwight-hartman-7dMrTA -"Not really a burn, but fam. Shave your head and grow a beard. - -There’s nothing you can do about the lifeless eyes, though." -I can see why😀😀😀 -"Smeagol in real life, looking for his ring again!" -"You say soulmate left, I hear soulmate escaped" -One case where shaving your head will do nothing for your looks. -"When she left, did she also take half your hair?" -You could ram a door open with that brontosaurus head -Looking like conehead with that peak -You look like the before picture of the shrunken head from Beetlejuice -"Shit you look 32 and 12, male and female at the same time" -Bald man or bald woman? Looks like you just started chemotherapy. -You look like that... Sad last egg in a carton. Or a whopper missing the chocolate part -Looks like your ex took everything too including your hair line ………… and your gender ………. -Soul mate = precious. -I guess you could say someone stole your precious -"TRT would do wonders for you, not even roasting here" -"You look like Melody from Hunter x Hunter, and they is a badass character" -"It's hell out there now man it's a women's world, hope you find happiness. Making people drag you down more when you feel like you hit rock bottom won't help. - -There's still people with empathy in the world. Stay strong brother." -4th stage Eggopecia! -You look like beetlejuice without the make up. -You looks like your soul left you. -"This is the first r/RoastMe Post I've EVER seen, where people stopped roasting and actually gave you some advice. If that's not an indication of how fucked you are, then I don't know what is... - -Also... Is that a Glory Holde behind you?" -"Of course, you do you, but I would make hats my entire personality in order to continue living a semi-normal, secluded life." -Hydrated Gollum -"""Welcome to the gym"" is what you need to hear. It helps" -"Get a hat. No get a balaclava, no get a paper bag…no get a plastic bag. No get a head transplant. Bare minimum get a personality transplant" -"Just get rid of the rest of your hair, it'll do you a favour." -Open your miiiiiindd!!!! -“Soulmate left for someone else” -that’s a weird way of saying your dog ran away -The guy from SOAD really let himself go... -Joan Lovitz -You were great in The Oblongs. -Not roasting you but shave/buzz your hair and grow a beard. You’ll look fine. Currently? Yikes. -"Genuine question, why not just shave completely bald? It’s clear that even your hair thinks you’re disgusting." -It's wild that you're transitioning into a man with male pattern baldness. -Your hairline went with them -You look like you stopped mid-transition. - You look like a hard-boiled egg rolled in hair clippings -The fuckin Crypt Keeper. -The Jessica doll from rugrats all grown up -"Beetle juice, beetle juice, beetle juice" -Let's do the Time Warp Agaaaiiiin -"Buzz your head, stop wearing lipstick and get some sleep dude" -You look like a sad armpit -You look like you have Progeria -"You look like you started to transition then halfway through said ""fuck it""" -"Chin up, at least you still have your hairs...all 3 of them." -Wish version of Elon musk. The hair will come after designing a pointy rocket. -"Even the glory hole behind you said no and closed up - -Shave your head for the love of baby Jesus" -Just because your hair gave up doesn't mean you have to. Shave that grape and invest in some hats. -"I swear I've just seen this guy on r/bald. -Just checked the username, same guy. - -You look like you're cosplaying as WoW guy's son." -Red alert- you have a major testosterone leak somewhere. Levels are critically low. -SHAVE YOUR HEAD! For god sakes bro your hair looks like the Hawaiian islands you got so much space in between. -"Not here to roast, just wanted to say shave your head man." -I think it’s time to shave your dome brother -" I know I'm not the first to say this, and it's not a roast. Hopefully if enough people say it you'll take action. Trying to make that hair work is absolutely mental. Rock the shaved head and don't look back." -you look like a transitioning Gollum -Looks like soulmate took your soul too -Soulmate. Don't you mean Your Precious? -Your “Soulmate”? I thought you called it your precious. -Shave your head and keep it that way. I'm not here to roast -Transforming into Gollum I see -Trans Gollum -"""Wanna see my pegina?""" -"Don't worry...you'll find your precious again, but not for a while. 2 hobbits will be taking it to a volcano. You do get it back, but that doesn't end well..." -"Ah yes I see looking like a homeless man is apparently ""femboy:3""" -You look like someone who started transitioning got half way thru and said fuck it this is good enough -🎶 let it go 🎶 let it go 🎶 your soulmate and your hairline ain't coming back -wasn't rlly a soulmate if they left you for someone else egghead -"You might have lost a Soulmate, but at least you found one ring to rule them. Your true precious." -Too easy. NEXT -not going to roast. but shave the head. grow a nicely maintained beard it looks like you can. you'd look so much better bud. -Your soulmate left you for a man? That has to sting. -This the guy reporting you on overwatch for being toxic in chat -I can't even roast you this just made me feel bad. -"Just shave that head and grow some beard, it should do the job to help you to be a little less miserable... -Right noW i just want to take you out of the shelter even you aren't in it" -If Franklin the turtle chose methamphetamine & self-pleasuring instead of his family & friends. -By any chance was your soulmates nickname “the precious” -Looks like the friendly version of beetlejuice -Are we ignoring the glory hole in the background? -Is this a new Halloween snap filter? -Dropped a prayer for you -"Guys, stop roasting him. He’s got a lot on his mind." -Shave ur head and grow a goatie. Then you will look like a man. -Just to clarify… when you say “soulmate left for someone else” do you mean she escaped and ran towards a cop? -"On a real note. You are not unattractive. Shave your dome. Get some sun. Try hitting the gym twice a week and you will be golden! - -Good luck!" -"Not even a roast. But, shave your head. Grow out your beard. Go on your villan ark and look better while doing. - -Seriously head shaved, grow beard. Will suite you." -"Was gonna recommend you check out r/bald, but it looks like you already beat me to it" -Your mom throwing out your old Yuuki Azuna body pillow is not your “soulmate leaving” -"I definitely made the right decision shaving my head, thanks for confirming it for me 👍" -This .. this is what I imagine every reddit lib moderator looks like 😅 -"They got tired explaining taters to you, Precious?" -"Shave head, grow beard then might not look like Gollum." -Did she leave you because she found out you were registered sex offender? -Nobody has a bigger forehead than Peyton Manning.... You...hold my beer -If not being able to accept male pattern baldness was a picture -*sighs and opens comments.* -Nah. I’m good. The Picture is enough. -"We need a new term lower than hopeless. - -**jabs elbow**" -"Who TF was your soul-mate..the fucking Undertaker?!? -Must suck to survive a nuclear Holocaust only to get dumped! -You look like the Kiergen, From Highlander, if hewas losing the fight against cancer!" -Brotha ughhhhh what is that brotha -You have even the most trumpy of the conservatives wondering what your pronouns are. -Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll find the one ring again. -"You may want to get your hormones/testosterone levels checked, and I’m not saying that to be funny. You genuinely may have an imbalance… best of luck to you and congrats on the improvement from shaving your head !" -She take your hair in the divorce? -You have kind eyes. -"Damn, your hair went with her too huh?" -Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns! -"I know two things you haven’t heard. I love you, and I’m proud of you." -Was she your precious? -"I can’t even roast you because every day when you wake up and look in the mirror, that feeling is enough to make me not want to add to your misery. Hang in there Gollum." -Bro's still looking for his precious -You look like your mom and dad are siblings -Damn think it’s best I just leave like your hair. -Give up on the hair smeagol -40 years after finding the one ring -When was the last time you met Chris Hanson? -Holy fuck leukemia skywalker -Even your hair is trying to leave you... -Looks like your credit card declined mid sex change. -"Wrong subreddit, baldy x" -"I can't....😂😂😂😩 - -But if you insust: -You look like a lollipop from under the seat of my car." -"BALD. - -BALD. - -BALD. - -BALD." -I heard two hobbits threw your soulmate in a volcano -You look like Salad Fingers -At least you don’t need a costume or makeup for your job at the haunted castle -"Bro..why do you keep muttering about The Precious and the Filthy Hobitses""" -comment -you’re every waitress i’ve ever had at outback steakhouse -"You're a paradox. You've got both ""poke holes in your condoms"" and ""poison the kids so I can have him all to myself"" vibes." -You look like one of those murder nurses they don't catch until your 20th victim gets you busted -Round 1 of guess which “look at me” subs this insecure person posts on. **looks at profile** . The usual suspects. Nothing special here. -You spent 100 hours maintaining those eyebrows and yet all your clothes are from the reject pile at the local Goodwill -You look like the suspect mom for an Amber Alert. -"She lives, she laughs, she loves." -You dress like a 43 year old lesbian realtor -"If you die early, I guarantee your husband brings a date to your funeral." -Mitch hedberg called. He wants his hair back -The veins in your tits are straighter than your eyebrows -That wallpaper matches your fashion sense -"We can tell you tried really hard to look this average, and that’s what counts, really." -You definitely work at either dollar general or Walmart -When I type in your name why does it come up with ' 318 people have eaten here and 1 star reviews. -You’re the substitute teacher that ends up on the news… -"You look like a last minute replacement for family dinners during the holidays. - -I'm sure whoever your family got in place of you will be a significant upgrade." -Remind me. What bladder protection product advert were you in? -"Plain Jane without a brain, dances for old men to make it rain." -You look like a clingy person that cheats on their significant other for showing too much affection. -You must love it when people sit on your face if you go through the trouble of shaping your eyebrows into handlebars. -"You look like your hands smell like cheese - -You look like you can't name your neighboring states - -You look like you got cheated on by the same person more than once" -You look like Anne Hathaway’s chunkier sister cousin. -"If your pussy is as clean as that mirror, it's a hard pass." -If only you were as plucky as your eyebrows -You look like one of those teachers on the news that get’s caught for fucking a student -Psycho ex girlfriend vibes -"She’s the girl next door - -The ugly one, but she lives next door." -You’re 37 desperately trying to look 10 years younger than your younger sister. -I bet that pussy smells like a warm turtle tank -"""I have a boyfriend"" energy" -I know a succubus when I see one. You ain't fooling us or stealing our souls. -You look like you blow 3 different drug dealers to get a dimebag of pot... when you can just as easily go to the shop on the otherside of town. -You look like Marisa Tomei if Marisa Tomei was a scarecrow. -You look like you could be a porn star. Not a good one though -"Just another chick looking to be validated and then a pity fuck. - -You're probably 5 seconds away from starting an OnlyFans acct." -I bet you’re the girl who does handstands on the beach when there are lots of people around! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!! -Your blouse is as faded as that dirty wallpaper. -Finally somebody gives a face to bacterial vaginosis. -"Your brows remind me of an 80s band a flock of seagulls, -You have a face made for radio" -"You've probably said ""How spicy would you like your Chang Sauce?"" so many times, the words have lost all meaning" -Mary Elizabeth Losestead -"""I'm not like other step sisters.""" -"You mean fuck and go, like your dates." -Meh -Let’s fucking nooooooo -You’re going to beat your kids with a wire hanger and then switch to a belt after they’re born. -Dad? -"Youre the human definition of the word average, if you were a meal you would be bread and water." -"Your left eyebrow is off center by a couple of inches, unfortunately I'm unsure you'll be able to fix it." -I'd get that mole on your chest checked out if I were you. -"40, single and childless...that sums you up." -I didn't know Anne Hathaway was actually a man! -"> Let's fucking go - -nah... $5 is overpaying." -Would cancel my subscription to her OnlyFans on the last day of a Free Trial. -"What's up with that eyebrow? One half looks healthy, the other half looks like the jealous cousin. Looks like one of few ideas Tim Burton decided to pass on . Did you agree to be your half-sisters' first semester cosmetology project?" -"I feel like you got multiple personalities, calm down mystique" -You look great! The transition is rly coming along. Still getting your balls waxed? -Poster child for Wellbutrin. -"I feel like your face is too big for your body size - -Weird asf ngl - -Uncanny" -You look like your coochie smells horrendous.  -Where ya wanna go? You look like ya been around so I’m pretty sure it won’t be somewhere new. But hey I’m down you’re pretty cute either way! -I went through your profile and your only fans content is boring! -Why did you not post your OF-link? -The one pic looks like one eye is fishing and the other one is looking for worms. -"Let's fucking go... - -...is what the 2 frat guys said as they high five after you've agreed to do them both." -"When you look up the definition of ""mid"", it's just your picture on the page" -"Some dude spent a night flirting with you, buying you drinks and succeeding in taking you home only to get the worst sexual experience of his life." -She looks like her p smells like a penny -Let’s fuck -Whoa easily a top 3 in any room -I’d smash -"Y’all are being so mean to her! I’m sure she’s a wonderful person with a big heart!! - -Boom. Roasted bitch." -"Can’t roast my wife, sorry" -I love you -I think you’re hot and would like to do things with you -"You're hot enough, you don't need to be roasted 😅 (respectfully of course)" -100% would -when your hot as hell so all the insults gotta be personality speculations😂 -"Can't think of anything, you're gorgeous" -Hot but approachable -"Damn, it's hard roasting beautiful people." -"You look like the type of girl that has to disclose by law, all 32 of your STDs before getting laid." -This roast is as difficult as you covering up your tits. Nice eyes. -You look like you bitch at everything and it causes men to leave after a few dates -"If by ""Let's fucking go"" means you are far away from me, then by all means fucking go." -Does only fans have a disappointment fetish section? -That hideous bathroom decor isn’t helping anyone -Your face is the perfect instrument for blowjobs for the rest of my life -She mosdef enjoys dark meat. -What kind of horror film/1950’s bathroom did you take that last picture in? That aqua color tile has seen less dumps than your chest. -"You look like, when you go out to eat you abuse the waiters" -"I can’t roast you. I feel so bad that your dad left when you were 8, your mom overdosed and you have been living with your grandparents since you were 16. - -I can see your pain in your eyebrows" -Using filtered photos for your Roast Me post is Nasty Work 😂 -The only time she orgasms is when masturbates looking into a full body mirror -"All 3 of these pics look like a ""blacked"" photoshoot 😂" -You look like you read books -"They tried their best but the fact is, you are pretty and look loveable" -You look nice there. Nuff said. -"You look like the new sidekick for Wednesday Addams. -Thursday. Thursday Afternoon." -Oh look. Another attractive female that gets 10 times more comments compared to others from pathetic incels in the hope she'll respond to them directly. -You look like your pussy farts -"It's the lady who always tries to be the ""cool mom"" and will compete with her daughters for their boyfriends." -You’re sexy af…..thats the roast -"u look nice - -and that's a compliment, not a roast" -You are very pretty. Sorry can’t roast you -You look like an off-brand Maggie from The Walking Dead -"Yes , fucking Please!" -Digestive Issues & Equate Tissues -You’re actually pretty -Get a life -"To unemployment, the local dispensary, to planned parenthood, to see your PO, to court, to the supervised visit with your kid, to your psychiatrist that's REALLY hands on but you don't mind, then most definitely back to your mom's house." -Aim for my tits -Honestly you’re vary pretty -Ever think about doing something with the thin hair in the corners of your (tiny) forehead? -I was too busy figuring out what constellations I could make out of your titty veins to come up with a clever roast -"""Let's fucking go"" is how she forces the guys into her basement." -Even in your OF you prob try too hard. Get a 9-5 -It's said the hotter they are the crazier they are. So she's probably pretty normal -Couldn’t make it in onlyfans so you’re here -You have strong Step dad fucker energy -"You put your cigarettes out on his disabled brother, don't you?" -Side piece energy -Your Nanna called- she wants her elastic pants back -Leaves the kids in the car while she scores her blow -If 'I'm very insecure and I need validation from random strangers on internet' had a face. -I've seen you somewhere before and it's now going to bother me. -Why do people so generically conventionally good looking come on r/RoastMe? -No response back from the poster? -Countdown to OnlyFans in 5….4….3…. -You look like a middle aged police detective in Law and Order. -"She looks like McLovin had a baby with Kelly McDonald. - -I call her Kelly McLovin." -You look like you’ll be asking to speak to the manager and then letting him spit in your mouth behind the dumpster of the restaurant -"Nice tits, bro" -You look like a home wrecker. -You black mail your coworkers in to doing your work after sucking them off. -I think I've seen you like 80 different times before. Mostly in Starbucks -You could easily be someone's aunt. -I once found a dead body behind a T.G. I. Friday’s. It was more attractive. -The electrolysis to remove her mustache went well -If you start a of people will pay you to close it before you even post anything -"Basic bitch 2.0, now with bigger tits and a worse attitude. Yoga pants and kayak sold separately. Also, you look like you have “Live, Laugh Love” as a tramp stamp tattoo." -50 Shades of Sasha Grey. -Entire personality in that phone case. -Congrats on being the only person to have a negative multiple digit balance on onlyfans. -Way too hot to roast -Where’s the bedroom -Look like you’ve had more cream pies than Boston. -You’d start a fight over the middle aged waitress at Applebees calling me “hun” and leave her a sassy note instead of a tip. -Lord Farquhar daughter lookin ahh -Onlyfans starter kit. -Just start posting pics in the porn section of Reddit already! -You look like you get stuck randomly throughout the house hoping your stepbro finds you -Four fingers three knuckles -Casting couch reject -i can’t unsee the steakhouse waitress -"I mean, why? Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only 10 I see…" -"You’re the #1 at Chick-fil-A, plain sandwich, no sauce, no seasoning." -Contemplating Onlyfans. -No doubt banging one of her 5th grade students. -Starter kit for onlyfans -"You look like you were told that you were pretty your whole life, and you believed it." -You look like you stab men in their sleep because you had a dream they cheated. -Every guy that’s been into you just wanted you for your tits -"2+2 not knowing what it is ass -Big chest no nipples" -"Getting serious ""of course you can pee on me"" vibes" -"Prozac bandit. Spends more time seeking validation from others but has this self inflated importance schtick going too possibly sociopathic behaviors. - -Loves Starbucks, hearing great things only about herself, and controlling other people for her own gain. Anxious only when put on blast, uses it as a deflection tactic. - -Ego centered, self important, sociopathic sad girl." -If Pam from “The Office” came from the dollar store. -It's impressive that even in photos it's obvious that you are somehow extremely vain and insecure at the same time. -"You have the kind of face that says: ""I don't get gonorrhea, I give gonorrhea"". Giggidy." -Why is my porn hub feed on here now -It's the blowjob bun for me. -I can fap to this -Typical 25 year old teacher who fucks her 6th grade student. -"Awww, Dad never gave you attention, so now you get it in whatever form you can on reddit. How long until you're on the gone wild subs?" -You gotta big nose and we all know your sucking in that gut in the last pic #letitgosis -youve got the body of a middleschooler and the face of a middle-aged mother. old in all the wrong places and young in all the wrong places. -Literally all these roasts are bad 💀💀💀 she won. -Every college junior in town trying to find a new father figure wants their smirk back 👀😂 -"Your face is AI generated and you're using reddit to test whether people will fall for it. - -This is not a roast. That is a fake face." -I bet you have tried making a make-up and unsolved mystery youtube channel but the only sub you got was from your mom -You'd be hot if you looked different. -Say I got the job by blowing my boss without saying I got the job by blowing my boss -You look like a bunny boiler -"You look like a woman who regularly refers to your own tits as ""cum-catchers.""" -You look about as interesting as someone who thinks drinking coffee is a personality would -comment -"I'd like to ask who ever is doing this, to stop reanimating corpses" -Didn't heroin chic go out of style a few years back? -I'm not saying you're doing drugs but you'd make a great face for teaching kids why to not do drugs -"When you travel, do they charge extra for the bags under your eyes?" -You look like an old Victorian ghost with a balding spot -How many years have you been 21? -"I won’t roast you - -Your sleep schedule is already fucking you over" -You look like a European pick pocket with hyperthyroidism. -Shouldn’t you be standing in the middle of a corn field? -You look like you just came back from the trenches of WW1. -You should just wander around cemeteries late at night and see how long it takes for the Discovery Channel to show up. -"“Don’t show the teeth, don’t show the teeth, don’t show the teeth…”" -First pic you’re higher than a kite. Second pic you’re all of a sudden 40 years old. Sixth pick you are now a 1700s wife who was traded for the largest pig in all the land. What a ride -"If I saw you on Tinder, I'd break my phone." -You should be an actress. You'd be perfect for roles like Dead Hooker #4 or a background actress in a rehab movie. -A roast is not what you need right now... you obviously have a debilitating eating disorder. Get some help. -You look like a skeleton with skin tightly wrapped around its bones. Like a skin suit who doesn’t sleep. -Something no one has ever said to you -Day walkers are real. -"Hello, Methany!" -Were you the dead lady in drag me to hell? -"Too bad your bulimia doesn't let you vomit away your manly shoulders, brother." -21 what? 21 centuries? -If cigarettes were human -Real housewives of Chernobyl. -She looks like she has a half a tic tac a sip of water then does 3 hours of cardio. -Fiona Scrapple -I'm going to show your photo to my kids next time they refuse to eat their vegetables. -It's okay to leave your earthly bonds now. Go towards the light. Loved ones await you... -You have never felt the warmth of the sun. -You are one of the ugliest good looking person Ive ever seen. -Hottest zombie I’ve ever seen -"Do you have any ""before"" pictures?" -"You look like you’d entrap a mentally disabled man into raising a kid that may or may not be his because you manipulated his affection for you and ducked him once when you were homeless and then ghosted him to return to your lifestyle, then end up marrying him because it turns out he invested wisely and became a millionaire, and you die of an unspecified disease." -"I got three words for you - -Cheap crack whore" -It's interesting to see the progression of an eating disorder through your photos. -"Jesus, get some sleep. - -You look like Louis Rossmann had failed transition surgery." -"You look like the other boys on the high school track team were so mean that you abandoned your personality, and gender, just to escape their harsh words." -"I had heard that Jared Leto was an eccentric. But taking up a meth habit, wearing a variety of shit clothes and announcing to the world that you’re non binary on r/RoastMe is just next level." -Steve Buscemi's long lost daughter here -"I didn't know we were submitting corpses for roasting, but here we are" -You like Lurch from the Addams Family. -You look like you let men practice domestic violence on you. -Recovering drug addicted prostitute! -OMG! Wendy! You were awesome in Breaking Bad! -You look like an early 1800s Arkansas homesteader -Don't they bury dead people in your family? -You look like your at your own wake -"Are you Amish or do you know the street value of blowjobs per amount of drugs? - -I’m kinda struggling here." -Stop dating Chris Brown. -How long have you been dead? -In all seriousness you're probably anemic. I would get your blood checked. -"she looks like the type thats had ""some fun"" with her entire county." -Your fun is all used up. Back to the coffin for you. -"This bitch got ""resting cancer face""" -Oh damn brb gotta make some popcorn for this one .. -I don't think it's a good idea to roast bare bones -This is what a person looks like after six months in the adult film industry. Stay in school kids. -Saved By The Bell called; they want their caffeine pill Jessie Spano back. -One of the few extras for Walking Dead that didn't need any makeup!!! -I got a boner -"You look malnourished, and I mean this genuinely. Get some help." -anorexia is really not giving you the looks your mind was hoping to get -This is what you look like when you’re fucking whatever’s on the table at the morgue -"If you need help getting off the Crack, there's some great charities and sponsors that help these days" -"I’m afraid to tell you this, but you need to lie down. Why? Because you are dead." -Mail order bride from Temu -Man even these old Victorian ghosts are having an identity crisis -I could have more fun with an empty crisp packet -"I didn't know ""left AMA from the oncology ward"" was an aesthetic." -It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again! -You look like you beat obesity with anorexia. -"Probably lost in the ether but... - -Most people post content, you post mortem" -"You look alot like my cousin, Methany." -"""I see dead people""" -"Your burial dress looks, um... nice. Back into the coffin you go." -“And this brings me to my next point kids. Don’t do crack” -"What are you, like a trans, meth addict or something?" -Aww hell no. That’s meth’d up! -1992 Robert Downey Jr wants the bags under his eyes back. -Damn! And here I thought Pete Davidson had the worst case of butthole eyes that I'd ever seen... -"I never knew an emo could multitask. - -Look empty, drunk, miserable, lost and pretend their happy simultaneously." -On today's adventure: Methany overdoes the eyeliner again -Are you Polish? Cus you certainly smiles in polish. -"I didn't think ""washed up low rider magazine model"" was a thing but here we are, they do get trashier after all." -The only 21 year old getting senior discounts -Fun? You look about as much fun as a tax audit -"With all the pimples on your forehead, blind people can also feel how ugly you are." -You escaped from the morgue! -The sub needs to be renamed to masochistic mid girls -Awwww you have your dad's bald pattern you guys look such alike. -"It's Anorexia Ner-VOH-sa, not Anorexia Nervo-SAH" -What's your idea of fun? Stealing copper to feed your merh addiction? Having Hepatitis? -I’m going to assume that your teeth are so crooked and ugly that they’re in different countries. -Isn’t this the 5th time you’ve done something this? You must have a humiliation kink -"Let's have some lunch girl, damn" -"You look like you had fun and meth, lots of meth" -Got them boulder shoulders -Fiona crApple -"Hey folks, we found Jared Leto on Reddit." -Fiona Crabapple -Degenerate < Degenerating -I know a genestealer from 40k when I see one madam. I say good day to you. -"Stick with NOT smiling, you look even worse when you smile…" -21 years since what? Since you turned 20? -How long have you been on meth? -World War 3 will be fought in the trenches of your chin -"You look like you’ve seen and gone through the witch trials, the holocaust, and ww2." -Damn girl looks like even heroin has dumped u . -I bet I know why none of the pics show teeth -Dude you got a vitamin deficiency of some kind. Seriously take a multivitamin -Could we not have some fun and you can just pretend we did. -Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs of crack -You look like a prostitute for guys who are into necrophilia. -They have these things called doughnuts. Maybe you should consider eating some. -Methadone olive oil is here folks -Really amazing RCP. Resting Corpse Face. -Honest question: Do you wish Tales From the Crypt had gotten more seasons or were you running out of stories to tell? -You'd be a supermodel in a concentration camp. -are you ok? -You look like Gabe Lewis in drag. -F21 DAYS LATER -I thought Halloween was still a few weeks away? -We have Tim Burton character at home -Whatever you are doing to your eyes needs to stop. You don't need to worry about men or bears -So Fiona Apple isn’t dead? -You have got to stop putting pharmaceuticals in your body and on your face. You’re 21 years old? In human years? Dude you are the oldest fucking person on this website. -I like that you are bringing back the heroine chic look. -Did you die from the bubonic plague? -Why you displaying bulk like you have money -How long have you been dead? -The circles under your eyes are so dark when I squint it looks like you're wearing aviators. -Don't do meth kids -21? You look like you 41 and been smoking every day for the last 50 years… I’d hit -Tell me you’re in Heroin Detox without telling me you’re in Heroin Detox -Something feels very uncanny valley here -Looks like you've been riding the H train a looooong ways. -You look like the poster child for fentanyl abuse. -"Just called my mom to pick me up, I hope you’re happy." -"You look like you came in 8th in a ""Fiona Gallagher at her worst"" lookalike contest." -"I bet you were hot in 1692, when all the village men filled you full of glue. -But sadly for you, and I know this might hurt, you belong back in the dirt." -Have you always looks anorexic or have you maintained that form through hard work and dedication? -Your eyes have more baggage than an Airbus 380 -The walking dead -"She needs to he roasted so she can rest, guys." -The model for anti smoking: -You ugly as fuck. -21...minutes away from turning 35? -the junkie girl in breaking bad -Wendy -You look like what a demontor looks like without its robes. -Meth barbie strikes again. -If you stopped sucking dick for meth you might be passably attractive. -You look like you escaped Auschwitz’s -Joaquin Phoenix playing his sister -Meth does her when it wants to get high. -You look like the after picture of doing drugs -I‘m not sure weather ypu look like a zombie from the walking dead or just a junkie -Her picture is under Sleep Deprivation in the dictionary. -"You look like you give extremely unenthusiastic hand jobs. With no lube of any kind, just dry tugging with that uncomfortable eye contact..." -Tony stark may not have enough iron to fiv the iron deficiency here -How long have you been clean from meth use? -Holy mother of God... -"So i see what some people are saying... Congrats on losing 77lbs that's awesome! I would suggest moving forward to try and put 15 back in muscle. Especially leg and core. Idk what number on the scale you see but a standard number is not always applicable. You have great bone structure with long limbs i would assume around 5'8. It might be a higher number than you may have in your head for ""healthy"" but it is likely a little above it. I've been in sports my whole life and your structure reminds me of a discus player (like Valerie Allman) obviously she is in crazy physique but just seeing her structure, she will be a different healthy weight than Simone Biles" -get some sleep -"Kristin Stewart stars in the “Black Swan” sequel, “Pale White Swan Of Mid”" -"One word, wowwwwww your so beautiful " -Great Value Fiona Gallagher -I think that people being reptiles theory is true . -Heroin chic makes a blazing comeback! Abercrombie and Fitch on line one! -"Get some rest, we'll try again tomorrow." -"She looks so tired and sad. I feel horrible that ppl are like this, js making fun of her. Ik she asked for it, but I genuinely feel gross of how humans can be to other ppl." -Fiona Apple's third understudy. -"No roast, you’re beautiful and sending you a massive warm hug" -"Sleeping beauty...if she wasn't beautiful, was addicted to heroin, and was the most basic person alive." -You look like Fiona Apple if one of her parents was an orc. -"They say hips don't lie, but yours ain't even talking." -Damn you are super Lithuanian aren't you? Look at those dark eye circles. -"You look like one of those before and after drugs memes, except it’s all after." -You look like you've been a middle aged lesbian since birth. -"What is this, some remake of The Grudge?" -Dead inside and out! -You look like opposite of fun. -"You look like Gollum… - -After he fell into the volcano" -"You look like you’re in the mourning process of your husband of 45 years, but since your marriage was arranged you mourn by pretending to be a teen again." -"Kinda hard to have fun with the living dead, ghoul baby!" -I've never seen someone post two before pictures when putting up a post about fentanyl addiction -"Damn, I thought you got a new body when reincarnated." -1800s “night lady” -Are you even alive??? -Double Agent Code Name: Renaissance Fair -Is this a Windy Wendy from Breaking Bad prequel story? -Laura Ingalls Wildgak -I hear Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is a good movie. -"Looks like a horrible combination of anorexia and meth , all because her daddy never loved her ." -Roasting aside. Go easy on meth. -"Are you on crack, because it can help you!" -The band Everclear wrote a song about you called Heroin Girl. -"I've never seen someone before, who looks better without makeup. Maybelline should charge you for negligence." -Let's meet the cast of real housewives of Victorian era ghosts that possessed modern bodies -You should model for Victorian era corpse photos. -"I hope not. - -Edit: I thought this was another r/Doppleganger post asking if anyone looks like me" -"I don't want to know what brand of ""fun"" you champion...." -Just because you look half that doesn’t mean Darrell Dixon is going to be interested in you -What’s there to roast ? You literally look like you came out of an oven toaster ? -You look absolutely methmerizing. -If walking dead were a person -Is “Let’s have some fun” what your regulars say when they come pick you up from the street corner ? -I’m surprised you still have a couple good veins in those skinny crackhead feet of yours -You look like the real life Wendy from breaking bad -I've seen soldiers with shell shock with happier eyes -Never saw a cryptid before -Your face looks it was hit by a bag of nickels! -You look like you've been dead before and my Rufus used you like there's no tomorrow. -Honey please do not use red lipstick again. It looks atrocious. -Grandma started mewing -Ema Watson on meth -My OLED doesn't even show that much dark eyes. -"You're about as interesting as an old tree. Smile, laugh, do some jumping jacks or whatever cause you boring af. And don't get me started on that damn underbite" -I'd be afraid of finding you in a dark corner while walking alone at night -You look like the “before” photo for a nap business -Honestly you’re very pretty. You should start sleeping more to give your eyes a rest and to stop others from getting arrested by them. -You look like the love child of a orc and a Walker. -Dio de los muertos is not until November 1st. How did you escape the under world? -"I don’t do drugs, sorry." -Were you in Tales of the Crypt? -Could definitely star in a Nun 3 prequel. -You look like windy from breaking bad -U need some rest -Imagine your face is always like you just received bad news. -Which eye should I be looking at? -You are the rarest of exceptional beauty who looks uglier with makeup -How stunningly brave of you to venture outside and online without make up or filters. -comment -You have resting NPR face. -I'm almost certain the personality matches the appearance.. -You look like you wait for porn movies to come out as audio books before you indulge. -Enjoy the last few weeks of summer before you’re back to your job teaching gym at a private girls school. -Why the self-loathing? It’s not a crime to scissor in the backseat of a Subaru Outback. -So gender fluid you’re practically a puddle -When’s your gender reveal party? -You look like you'd complain on Twitter if I made any joke. -Not saying anything. You look like you’re already offended by enough things. -You look like you can cancel everything. -You look like you’d get offended & respond to EVERY SINGLE negative comment after asking to be ROASTED. 🤦‍♂️ -You look like you throw paint at museum pieces -“I want to feel justified” is so something you’d say. -You look like you talk like Sheldon Cooper -"Do your vegan, queer-friendly, tarot card reading roommates know that you shave your moustache?" -If a sanctimonious and poorly written gender studies essay was a person. -Harry Potter quickly regretted messing with the trans spells -If a degree in gender studies was a person -"You got that malnourished Oliver Twist look down to a tee, young man 👍" -"You definitely complain about not having a job after going $125,000 in debt for a queer studies degree" -"Sits for the barber and asks ""front back and pride""." -I'm guessing the train derailed on approach? -You remain ambiguous so you can rage at people who peg you as any gender. You hate the patriarchy and refer to your father as a sperm donor. You hate capitalism and authority but want to be successfully comfortable and in control. You march in protests but forget them as soon as they are no longer the issue du jour. -She wears underwear with the dick holes in 'em -I’m scared to roast you cause you’ll probably get me in legal trouble -If Adolf Hitler was nonbinary -"if you want to pass, do something for your mustache" -Your head and body proportions are that of a low shelf Funko Pop -You look like a feminist lesbian BLM member. -The type of person who wants people to misgender them... -Definitely wouldn’t make it in Gaza right now -"you look like you label everyone as racist, transphobes whenever someone doesn’t agree with you" -You’d be an attractive female if you quit trying so hard to be a dude -"I never really understood the whole they/them thing, but now I do." -Imagine carrying a child for 9 months (maybe less) and they come out to be like this -"What’s your secret, Rick Moranis?" -"Good luck on your transition, not sure what way you're going though" -If Adam Scott came out as trans. -My ten year old says you look like a real life FunkoPop… -If Ned flanders was a women. -Clicked on this because I know the comments are going to be good about this one 😂 -You identify as non-binary and get angry at the drop of a hat. -Offended by everything other than your own foul smell -Can’t tell which way your transitioning -"You look like the only sound that comes out of your mouth is, ""REEEEEEEE!!!""" -Gary Potter -You’re the kinda human to say that nine plus ten is 21 -"You will never be justified in loathing yourself, and the worst thing you've ever done is not seeking help, or, if you have tried, the worst thing was giving up." -You suck at being Bajoran. -"What's your name, boy?" -Yer a hipster Harry! -You look like the person that makes it other people’s problem when you get your feelings hurt -the typical non binary person in 2020: -That haircut is all the self loathing you need. -"“Emily, they/them, BLM, ACAB”" -Sorry for your bleeding nose after birth. You didn’t make a sound and the doctor didn’t know which end he should give a clap. -You look like you say sorry to your friend group for being white. -Man Adam Scott looks horrible -Idiot Page -You look exactly how Michael Jackson strived to look for all those years. You’re one lucky they/them -Ugh... You probably feel overly justified about your mere existence. -Dude looks like a lady. -"You decided to date women because you desperately needed to find *some* interesting or unique or quirky thing about yourself. So you invented your lesbian persona. - -Little did you know, that's not unique, and that haircut would've done the job on its own." -Only you can make Harry Potter look masculine. -You’ve got the mustache of a 9th grade Hispanic boy. -I don’t even know what I’m even roasting here. I’m scared to know what you’d do if I assumed your pronouns -I've taken more interesting shits. -You look like you get angry when people don't take your pronouns plant/pot seriously -let your mustache grow a tiny bit more or you might get mistaken for a girl in the wrong light -Every gender they identity as will be offended. -Stop with the transformation. Men don't want you as much as girls don't -When’s the surgery? -Nice haircut Alfalfa -Looks like Hitler after transitioning to a woman -"Why, Are you seeking self/emotional harm?" -Unfuckable to all genders -"You have the jawline of a Frankenstein’s monster. But not *the* monster. - -You’re not that important" -Are you female -He/she/they/them/the/those/croissant mf 💀 -you are what’s wrong with america -You look Like you have no idea what gender you wanna be -If gay was made into a bobble head -They are a young Matthew Broderick trans? -"You look like Harry Potters brother, the one they kept in the basement.!😁😁😁😁😁😁" -Being ugly isn't an excuse to try switching genders -Your transition isn't going well dude -"You should press charges against whoever gave you that haircut. Maybe you fell asleep in the chair, I don't know." -"Do you have to wax/shave your moustache, or does it fall off on its own trying to get away from your breath? Flossing your teeth will really help your chances of attracting all of those genders you’re interested in." -"I'd be willing to bet you don't like to wear deodorant, ever" -I'm pretty sure I've seen you in every public library I've ever walked into. -"I hope you do not actually suffer from self loathing. Life is complicated and we don’t all fit it the same mold. - -I assume this is just a lark, but some of your previous posts make me worried you may be struggling. - -Hang in there. The other posts are probably funny, and I appreciate funny things, but laugh at the comments and have a good day." -Pathetic -Damn Corey Feldman has gone downhill -You look like the human version of the squirrel getting stuck between which side of the street to run to but you're between both genders. -"You're in that weird in between phase, when no one can really tell which way you're transitioning." -"You're a wizard, Harry!!!" -Identifies as That/Thing -Sponge Becka square jaw looking ass -I'll keep it simple you look like a dude -"On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, you identify as a male, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you identify as a female. -On weekends, you are confused." -Poster child for transgenderism -Are you a man or a woman? I literally can't tell -"Can't do it, you will say worse about yourself, to yourself, than I ever could." -~~Eugene Levy's long lost... offspring~~ Looking through OP's comments and she is just very depressed and I don't feel comfortable kicking someone when they're down. -"You seem to be wonderful. Is your ""self loathing"" a symptom of mental illness?" -Don't hate yourself. Leave that for others to do. Someone wishes they could be in your shoes right now... remember that. -What a boring life you must have -What are we transitioning from? And where are we transitioning to? -Non-binary bobblehead -Looking at OPs previous posts it seems they are not doing well mentally. Please OP if you’re depressed this is the WRONG sub. You should be doing the exact opposite of posting here. Look at other posts here this is all about creative roasts that will hurt the poster the most. I really hope you get the help you need and please take care of yourself -So.....penis? Or no -Fred Kahlo? -Gender queer kyle maclachlan lookin ahh -How is geppetto -I see Matthew Broderick transitioned into a lesbian. And not the hot kind... -"Your eyes say, ""I'm kind"" but your jaw says ""I'm batman!""" -"After years of searching, I have done it. I have found Waldo." -Pronoun info is necessary -You looked very cute and beautiful. -"So back in high school when you were the manager for the tennis team, did you ever talk to the girl you liked? And if so, how did it feel when she rejected you?" -So are you a boy or a girl I cant tell -Your parents voted for Trump so this is how you get back at them -I bet you love Taylor swift music -"I think you’re having a tough time mentally right now, and that sucks, please find a friend or a professional you can lean on, struggles suck." -"Absolutely not. Self-loathing is not something to mess around with. - -Look at your awesomeness and know you are here for a good reason." -I know what sub this is but you’re beautiful. I hope your mental state reflects that -I know your politics by these pictures -I bet you're a nice person who has been treated badly and I hope you can learn to heal and love yourself! -Definitely got your own pronouns nobody uses lol -If Drake Bell was the nerd instead of Josh -"I’d say you remind me of a funko pop but I think even they have more self confidence, personality, and sense of self" -"You look like the young call center manager that plays it off and pretends not to notice when black agents fail their metrics, but when any other race fails their metrics, you CC the dept manager with coaching notes you send them." -"You're just waiting for that one romantic moment where an attractive man bumps into you, knocks off your glasses, picks them up for you, and is shocked by how beautiful you are without them. Too bad he'll never be able to get past the fact that you look like a 12 year old boy when naked." -Can you confirm your pronouns? You look like the kind of person to drag someone into HR with an allegation of gender violence for getting it wrong. -I bet your grandmother thinks you’re very handsome. -"You start screeching when you’re losing an argument, don’t you?" -I seriously cannot tell your gender -The caption is peak though. Gold star. ⭐️ -"Dues Exes has the Most Interesting Man in the world. You are his nemisis, as the most boring." -I support your right to compete in women’s sports! -Your eyes look like they are running away from each other. -Your unibrow is quite prominent in the 2nd picture -Sup bro -Awww you don't need to be roasted. You're a fine looking two-spirited non-binary grey-gendered theythemximxer. -Are you trans... Just asking... -"I don’t roast guys, sorry" -You look like Karl Pilkington with hair -I'm glad the HRT is working? -I see the scar's cleared up nicely Harry -Nice mustache in the 2 middle pics -Roast what you already roasted yourself -"Got a thicker moustache than I do, and that’s saying something" -You look like a nice young man. -ok… mr ma’am -What’s your gender? I legitimately don’t know -Mustache -The best disguise so nobody knows your Superthem -"You are every non-binary ""woman"" you see at college campuses screaming for rights for men to be women." -Definitely a Reddit mod - Your pronouns are dil / do -what gender did you choose to be today? -"Guessing your gender is like flipping a coin. Oh look it's a male, oh wait it's a female. Good job" -"No thanks, I don't want to get cancelled" -Can't tell if you're a man or woman but would -If Janine Garoppolo had a boy... -"Which pronoun do you use? My guess is ""it.""" -Are you man or a woman? -You look like the type that hands out a manual on how to talk to you and which pronouns to use -You have that “someone please push me down a flight of stairs” look about you. -You're incompetant at setting up a ladder. -That mustache is coming in nicely. -You look like you complain a lot. But exclusively online. -404 Error: Gender not found. -I've never seen a better genderbend Steve Smith cosplay in my life. -I'm so confused... are those sideburns or?... -"You look like your Pronouns change on an hourly basis, but you still write angry posts on X and play the victim card if someone uses the wrong one for that hour." -You look like you flip a coin to decide your gender for the day -"When you took the test in school that suggested a profession to pursue, your results just said vegan and annoying." -You look like the kind of person that goes ballistic at restaurants for not having a Womyn’s restroom. And gets triggered by anything remotely phallic looking. -Shouldn’t you be teaching gender studies at your local community college -Marty McDyke: You have to go back to the 50s to make sure your moms scissor each other outside a beatnik poetry reading. -You're the son your father never wanted. -"If you’re looking for dykes, pics 1,2,4. If you’re looking for either or, pic 3." -The hair above your upper lip is troublesome -How long have you been vegan -You look like you flip through mein kampf as casual reading -"You're very handsome, hang in there dude." -"On a serious note, the fact half the insults are just the same sjw/leftist/queer stereotypes over and over is just sad, these people have no material of their own. - -Then again you look like every queer and leftist stereotype was stuck into a blender and you were the result so I can't blame em." -You have more hair on your eyebrows then you do on your head! -"Nothing to roast you about, dude. You’re actually quite handsome." -Sorry to disappoint you. I think you're very attractive and I hope you realize that attractiveness isn't all it's about. It's about peace in your mind and if you ever figure that out let me know -"Everyone will look like you just before we stop breeding and the human race gives up and dissolves totally, just like in the Mouse Utopia experiments." -Honestly can't tell but there's either a tiny dick or massive clit in those pants -"whatever art youre creating now fueled by an occasional toot on some maijuana smoke, and all the hormones youre creating with no effort will be the best art you create of your life. - -you will not have ability to recreate that energy in ten years." -"You're beautiful, How does that feel?" -Natural beauty -you’re so beautiful -You're cute. -You look like one half of the ambiguously gay duo -When was the last time your father spoke to you? -"I could never roast you, you’re beautiful. Be you!!" -Such beautiful skin! -You look like a nice person -Hugs you -Ah young Steve Buschemi before his lifelong acting career. What a… handsome… young fellow. -Your gorgeous though. Love your hair. -You’re cute and I like your glasses ♥️ -No self loathing you are beautiful -I hope you get rid of your depression eventually and get to live a full and happy life. I'm not making fun of someone that feels bad already. -"You’re gorgeous, great hair and I can’t find any roasting material here at all. If your personality is half as good as your looks then you are unroastable." -comment -Minecraft grass. -I've never seen a receding tennis ball -You look like you are trying to stop Batman by luring him into your low income housing. -Lord have mercy. You look like the offspring if Dennis Rodman fucked a keylime pie. -Ugliest tennis ball I've seen in a while. -How scary would this be if she came up out of the ground head first at a mini golf course. You wouldnt be laughing then -Your hair looks like you upgraded from Brillo pads to Scotch Brite -I'd never make fun of Dennis Rodman. He was a beast on the court. -"That’s good that you dyed your hair a bright color, now it will be easier for us to avoid you." -You look like a Riddler henchman -I always wondered how they made astroturf. -You look like you roll around with 10 inch strap on in your bag ready to dick women down and use it to beat up random men who cat call you. -“I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MINECRAFT DIRT BLOCK” -I'll be damned. I always wondered what the result of the Hulk fucking the Grinch would be. Thanks for posting! -Tennis Rodman - Ch ch ch chia -"RuPaul's gayer, less famous, more drug addicted cousin." -Francesca Ocean -Wesley Snipes is trying to evade taxes again -Penis Rodmam. -The Worm! -Teenage mutant Eastside Turtle. -You’re too old to be having an identity crisis -"Looks like Shrek jizzed in your hair, and clearly you look proud of that" -No amount of dying your hair is going to give you a personality . -Like a female Joker but you’re only LOUD at the movie theater… -You probably want to draw attention away from your face... -"All I can see is booger, and I ain't just talking about that hair." -zoro if he was useless -You're awesome Mr Rodman! -Anyone up for tennis? -If She- Hulk was on Public Assistance -"That doesn’t make you the hulk, it makes you a brocoli turning bad." -You look like She Hulk if she smoked Crack. -There is alot of face on your face . -Afroturf -"Oh, you dyed it green? Thanks for telling us, wouldn’t have guessed. Green is also the color of the reparations you won’t get." -Green hair and piercings? Please choose one disability. -YOU ARE NOT FRANK OCEAN !!! -Green hair: check. Facial piercings: check. Dad missing from early age: obviously. -Out here looking like a proud black gay man. -Dyed your hair green…. Liar swamp monster!! -"Man, DC comics is going the Black route with the new Joker." -Got a booger above your lip -Is that mint chocolate chip flavored whoopie goldeburg?! -You got a booger on your lip -You look like a Minecraft grass block -Minecraft Dirt Block -Bet you anything she puts on a wig by tomorrow -Jesus Christ. I bet you can hide an entire body in those eye bags. -Look like keenan thompson if he lost 5 pounds. -Does the carpet match the drapes?! It would be easier for your girlfriend to find! -Did you see a hair stylist or a landscaper? -You look like you own no fewer than seven cats. -Frank Ocean is anywhere but in the studio -Out here like a green M+M with half of the candy shell missing. -Congrats on the transition. -“I look like a minecraft dirt block. I LOOK LIKE A MINECRAFT DIRT BLOCK. I DYED MY HAIR GREEN TO PROVE TO YOU GUYS THAT I DON’T LOOK LIKE A DIRT BLOCK. LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT. I DON’T LOOK LIKE A DIRT BLOCK.” -Frank Ocean on welfare -grass block -"Well its nice to see with the oympics around the corner, that Carl Lewis is back on the circuit" -Cosplay of Jared's Leto joker? -Looks like a Minecraft grass block -I mean....age and mold kind of go hand in hand -You have snot on your lip. -If Dennis Rodman had a love child with Sysco -Jesus Dennis Rodman looks like shit -So you pierced your philtrum because your nose wasn’t already drawing enough attention? -Can't tell if you're an older woman staying hip or a young woman who looks old -Dennis rodman couldn't look worse. Well I was wrong -You got a bug under your nose above your lip. -r/zoroislost -I ate a lot of Broccoli then shat a big green mess which looks and smells better than the vile mess adoring your head. -"She falls for two things: broke lesbians, and pyramid schemes." -Beetleginandjuice -You look like both Roronoa Zoro and his typical opponents -It’s giving Dennis Rodman -the cashier lady from the piercing store that wouldn’t mind in piercing a minor -Dennis RotWoman -Now I got that 'smoke that broccoli ' song in my head -Her head looks like a hill liminal space -"Thank you for sharing, sir" -She got that DK Metcalf cut and die -With hair like that you better be good at basketball Mrs. Rodman -You look like the Disney version of the joker. -Shrek live action during the woke times. -I wouldn’t touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole! -"Donald Trump called, he wants his ear back" -Roronoa Zoro I know you get lost easily but this is ridiculous. -Frank Oceans new album cover. -No roast. I dig it. -Looks really good can’t roast somebody who’s perfect -I got nothing OP. You're gorgeous. -"I got nothing, you look good." -Looks like will smith should have slapped you -The grinch’s subscription fan. -You look like you beef with a horny chef on the regular -You look like you date white guys and feel guilty about it -"In the wise words of some dude on the internet a few years ago - ��girl, you bout the cutest tennis ball i ever seen”" -"Can I tee off on your head?? -(Golf joke)" -"I was going to say you look like a Lima bean, but you look more like a lesbean." -I was going to say something about the green hair but it was so far back it was hard to see 👀 -"Not a roast, but it’s kind of giving Mother Earth." -That’s where my missing highlighter went! -"This has been epic! I’m going to sleep now tho. Love yall, and I love the humor and also all the genuine compliments sprinkled in. Peace and love" -You're a Democrat and are on some kind of medication. -"Idiot - -That’s all I’ve got" -You gotta fucking chill Dennis Rodman -Damn now I know why people get mad when their culture gets appropriated! Willow Smith got yall a little too comfortable. -If tennis was a person -"damn we get it you, you love to smoke weed" -From the looks of it you get no dick 🤣 -You look like I just ate a bunch of leafy vegetables -Dyed the hair to use it as an excuse why u get no attention -Human chia pet -She got that DK Mercalf cut and dye -Green Velvet's mum -I just saw you on MTV2’s Ghosted. -"The lawn is looking good, nice mow!" -Jada’s hair looked like this and she chose to own the bald look. Now we know why. -"It's highlighted, neon green if u need to understand" -"First photo: eyes closed before you see how your hair colour turned out. -Second photo: dissociating." -“I DONT LOOK LIKE A MINECRAFT DIRT BLOCK” -"Looks like you fell asleep at a party, someone found that same highlighter. Trying to own an unfortunate circumstance… 😂 I’d cut half off too." -You ever sneeze into a Kleenex and then look at it..? ☝️ -You look like the worm that’s peeking out of a tall shrub -You can mini golf on your head -Why you got no ears face on? Look like a character from Cars... -You look like and knock off Chia pet. -Are you cosplaying minecraft grass block? -Look like a burnt piece of broccoli -Who ordered ru Paul off wish? -"Genderbent universe of that one guy. Don't have a pic, but yall know who I'm talkin' about." -You like Disney would cast you for the remake of Kermit the frog -Dennis Rodman? You back? -Dennis Rodwoman -I guess black does crack -It actually suits you. You should use this look for St. Patrick’s Day. -People drive off the road when you are driving. -"Another washed up celebrity, the minecraft dirt block :(" -You *really* need to be the center of attention. You look like you’d start a fight in a grocery store over a frozen pizza. -"call luffy, zoro got lost again" -You look like you're a short order cook at Bellefleur's bar and grill and you sell vampire blood on the side. -Player 4 -This Minecraft update is wild -It's your most interesting feature by far. -moss head no sense of direction lookin ass -"I didn't know you could dye a bald spot. Huh, ya learn something new every day." -Bro really went to the barber and asked for minecraft grass block -Hair??? What hair? -minecraft grass block -Minecraft grass block -Minecraft grass block -Let me guess…dying your hair allows the dudes to see your head against the neon lights of a rave as it pops up and down suckin’ them “lightsticks” -Grass doesn't grow on a race track. Good thing you didn't do your mustache! -This Halloween you can go as the Minecraft grass block -Minecraft Grassblock looking headass -I see you Dennis rodman. -That gecko has really made itself right at home. -The grinch called he wants his pubes back. -Does the carpet match the bad life decisions? -Still a better joker than Jared Leto -The black zoro. -Dennis Rodman -The green hair was the last step. Congratulations! You now look like a clown!… -Venus and Serena would have a field day with you -did someone order doja cat from aliexpress? -Did you always want to be plant moss when you grew up? -Who knew Marcus Smart was so butt hurt from missing out on the Celtics championship he had to make posts on Reddit. -"she rescued me from my matrix pod, and got me involved in an MLM scheme." -Jada Pinkett Smith saw this and thanked god for alopecia. -"I didn’t know the grinch had a dlc pack for the blm movement, that’s cool." -I’m fine with everything really I was saying to myself at least she doesn’t have that septum thing and then I got to the next picture. -Got that fkn wimbledome -Neon hair dye. It's not just for teenage white kids anymore. -Low key not surprised they cast a trans black lesbian as the new Joker -*Walk around like you're bigger than Prince* -I thought this said “My mom dyed her hair green” 🤣 -Mom: No we have Green Velvet at home -You bout the cutest tennis ball I ever seen -What the dill with all the green -"Not really a roast, but I do like how your fashion matches the hair." -I bet from the top view you look like a giant green Skittle -"Patiently awaiting the next album, Mr Ocean" -You look like the love child between the grinch and a tennis ball -human manifestation of a minecraft grass block -Ribbit -minecraft grass block -You should put a tiny flag on ur head and you’ll look like a mini golf course on ur head - Which gas station do you work at -What hair 💀 -Denise Rodman? -Looks like your head molded. -The grass is greener on the upper side... -Just when we thought you couldn't be any less attractive...... -"You look like you ear: ""GET OUT OF MY LAWN"" a lot... Followed by shotgun fire. - -I bet I could use your ass as a sieve." -"hello beauty, my name is Jack, gardener" -Minecraft grass block -Ole Tennis ball head havin' ass 😂 -"""You're a mean one Mr Grinch"" looking ass." -What hair? -You look like a female version of the “I do NOT look like a minecraft dirt block” guy 😭 -Minecraft grass block -Damn Minecraft dirt block irl -You look like a BLM chia pet -"We get it, you're a divorced mom and you haven't paid rent since COVID started." -lovely hair -Looks amazing on you!! -Looks like when you were customizing a character you turned up each feature to the largest size -Frank Pond -it looks cool but i bet you don't know how to do long division -When you agree with EVERYTHING you’re reading and wear out the highlighter tip… -I ain’t roasting you you look 🔥🔥 nice hair -Hair like an old tennis ball being dug up by forensics -Your head ngl built like a Minecraft grass block (respectfully) -"Reminds me of a woman I accidentally spit amazing game to because her eyes were that color. I was just so honestly enamored by the color of her eyes (this color of green) that I know she was wondering why all the good ones were taken. - -I suck at roasting" -Smile 2 main character. -The Straw Hats lost zoro again -u look like a minecraft grass block.  -A very pretty asparagus 😍 -Skank Ocean -"I know this is r/roastme, but honestly, I think it looks fun. - -(Now your nose on the other hand. 😬)" -zoro will not be happy -Will Smith's wife if she was a tennis ball -What hair? Baldy -I will now call you mountain dew -looks nice! -I can't in all good conscience roast Dennis Rodman -If Disney did a Sesame Street movie you'd be Oscar. -You look like if Jada smith had gotten pregnant by shrek and did meth while pregnant -you look like you died your hair neon green -I CANT because you’re soooo pretty -Out here looking like a cross section of someone’s lawn -"Nothing on the hair. - -But doesn't that piercing between nose & lip get annoying when it rubs against your top gum?" -"You know, Dennis Rodman is looking pretty good these days considering it all." -"I know I'm supposed to roast you and all, but um... I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! My bad." -Omg I love your humor. You rock! -Avocado cosplay -"You take care of yourself, your hands are clean and manicured. You're clothes are fashionable. I'll probably be banned for this but I think you're beautiful. I dig the hair style & color too Happy trails." -Mountain Dew needs some of the green dye. -Frank ocean without the motion -"I actually like it! -(Yes, I know this is the RoastMe sub, but it looks good!)" -Trying to join the ninja turtles? -The joker from temu -I like it. -Joyless Reid -I've had a day of micro aggressions and feeling othered. I got nothing . You BE YOUR NEON SELF -"I know everyone is roasting you with references to Batman villains, lizards, Minecraft grass, tennis balls, etc. And they're not wrong. - -But how you have EARS THAT FLAT? ! Seriously bro." -"Inspired by Wesley Snipes in ""Demolition Man""?" -"You look happy, you do you boo boo!" -I don't know if I should smile at you or tee off -Frank get off Reddit and release a new album stop playing w me -Ok diet Mountain Dew I see you -Jada Pinkett Smith finally had some hair matching with her dress. -"Amazing, gorgeous, please don’t turn R." -Whoever is doing your fade is messing it up on purpose -You look like you haven't dropped an album since 2015 -"Colorful hair, check. Piercings, check. Midlife crisis, averted." -An eighteen year old skater boi called... He wants his hairstyle back -Oh my gosh Amara no way what's up it's Josh B -Ears so flat you can’t tell where sound is coming from -"You really went to the salon and said, ""Give me the fresh cut grass...""" -"Green hair? Matching dress? Jolly Green Giant, is that you?" -"Better hair, sense and cents than you" -Why didn’t you dye the mustache too? -Oscar get back in your trashcan!!! -"On you, fabulous!" -"Round the city, round the clock - everybody needs you." -If you make smoochy lips can your lip ring get caught in your nose ring -That ain’t neon -Congratulations on your haircut. Where can I contact the landscaper who did it. -Who let the bottom half of the sponge get dirty? -You are the cutest tennis ball I’ve ever seen! -⬜️🟩⛏️🕺 -Looks great!😊 -You were in the Wakanda Forever as an Atlantian. I knew I recognized you. -You just dyed your hair neon green. -">SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. - -A back button that is not fucking working fast enough." -I can't tell if you want to get a tattoo of a smile on your hand or if I gotta say your name three times just to call you. -"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch lookin ahh" -Should feature your hair in Japanese po*n. Looks so pixelated -Looks awesome!! -"You look like a movie star - -Kermit the frog" -You look like Frank Oceans ugly twin sister Frankie Lake -I’m glad you showed more pics cause I just knew you had no ears from that second pic 😂 -"Not a roast, but pleaseeeeee place tiny flowers in your hair, it's so cute!! 🥹" -I think youre beautiful but I heard someone say you look like a minecraft dirt block -You look like you enjoy entanglements and tennis. -Minecraft Grass Block Face Reveal -"I just wanted to compliment her replies. By far the best responses to a roast ever. Well done, queen!!! 🏆👏" -Um why is there an asparagus on my screen? 😭 -"Watch out, I think you have a mold infection on your head" -You’re the cutest chia pet on the shelf! -"someone said you look like the riddler, I say you look like Poison Ivy budget cosplay." -I got nothing…. 🤷🏻‍♀️I think it’s cute -i don’t like limes! -Who me? -Wish dot com Jada smith. -I was wondering what Mos Def was up to these days! Love your music! Cheers 🍻 -comment -You look like you’ve never gone on a third date -If pole dancing ever becomes an Olympic sport you'll be Australia's first choice. -"Well, strip clubs gotta get their Wednesday afternoon crew from somewhere." -You poledance?! Expect a bill from my therapist -Been going through the comments...this chick is funny! It's never the pretty ones huh 😞 -'I just want to feel something' is what you tell yourself when you are on your third order of mozzarella sticks.. -"That’s why you pole dance, so you can finally feel what a pole between your legs feels like." -That unique odor of pole dancing sweat and cat piss alone has the gentleman callers lined up. -That cat is terrified you're going to poll dance or wear those leopard print pants again 😢 -It makes sense that you like cats considering that you smell like fish. -Note: Pole dancing will not help you increase your matches. -"Goes places wearing a “take it up the bum, you won’t be a mum” t-shirt" -I'm guessing you don't work many weekend night shifts. More JV team if you will -I can only imagine the craters in your floor from falling off the pole. -Spending the night with your vibrator does not count as pole dancing. -I'd throw singles to get you to stop pole dancing -That cat gonna escape moment that door opens -"I just watched your pole dancing video, and I’m here to tell you that you can get it any time you want it, girl! - -A chiropractor, that is…" -I had no idea they even made floor to ceiling bollards. -I hope that pole is well-anchored -Do you lubricate the pole with the grease from that landing strip of a forehead? -People probably pay you to keep your clothes on. -You also appear to like Little Debbie snacks too. -Each photo I scrolled right on you lost 50lbs. I was waiting for one more photo to get to your final beauty form. Maybe for your next roast… -You didn’t have to tell us you like cats. We can tell -"I’m gonna level with you, no dude is interested in a pole dancer who looks like they’d stab him over the last piece of cake." -What? A telephone pole? -I'm pretty sure the only pole that can support you is the north pole!! -I'm pretty sure there is no pole that can support your weight. I'm pretty sure your arms can't support your weight either. -Surely pole dancing is a metaphor for something? I don't think we have the technology yet to hold up that thing. -"If you were pole dancing in a strip club, you’d have to pay me to watch" -Clearly a dancer on nickle night -"Picture 3 just screams ""that bitch, Carol Baskin""" -JD Vance is going to use you as the poster for childless cat ladies. -so this pole that you use for dancing - does it hold up bridges? -The only pole dancer that has to offer refunds -What's the point in pole dancing if nobody is willing to watch you? -"The guys who watch you pole dance ""make it rain"" with food stamps." -If I saw you in the strip club working I’d definitely ask you to break a 5 for me -"I'd rather watch your cats dry heave for 3 straight hours, than 1 minute of you on a pole" -Guess it wasn't enough to just tell one man at a time that you just want to feel something. -Champagne and a black dress for a date with the cat? Jesus. -"You like cats and pole dancing? Looks like you love cakes, pies, and mashed potato sandwiches too" -So thats why the earth's axis has shifted slightly -Ready to settle down bod. -When you order Katy Perry off Temu -The ONE ugly one they mentioned on the strip club sign -I don’t think the meth is working for you -Proper 7 pinter -You must practice on some sturdy poles! -Breaking News: you look like you'll never accomplish feeling something -Youd be a Tuesday afternoon stripper -Only pole you belong on is a spit -We're talking telephone poles for this girl. -an aggressively mediocre woman using hypersexuality as cope. tale as old as time -You've probably put catnip in your butt -Ew -There's an opening for Monday morning strippers down at the shake joint since you like pole dancing I'm sure you'd get the position bc your pics say you're over qualified -I hope that pole isn't attached to a load bearing wall. -Hearie!!!! hearie!!!! Fat and queerie.... it is the cheeseburger that separates you from womenhood -There aren’t enough poles in da club to hold you up -You ain’t fooling anyone madam you are 35 lmao -Your ass is bigger than your future -Your knees are in much better shape than I anticipated -Loos like the oldest young person I have ever met or maybe also the youngest old person -"Me: Mom can we get a pole dancer? -Mom: We have a pole dancer at home. - -The pole dancer at home:" -She got a sixhead -"I like cats, pole dancing, and documenting myself pulling over to poop" -KITTYYY -Your forehead has its own zip code. -"So you like pussys and poles, sometimes you feel like some nut some times you dont! At least youve doubled your chances at getting laid." -"Audition for Blacked.com -Let’s see how you can really work a pole." -I got a pole you can dance with -"Pole Dancing Huh? Well The Only Thing I See, Is You Twerking Next To A /Your Car. I Thought Women Only Squat Down Next To A Car Like That If They're Tipsy And Had To Take A Piss!" -"I don’t know what to say here, but you’re the cats meow for taking all this heat from guys who are going to use your leopard pants photo for “inspiration” with their flesh-lights later on." -Where’s the pole dancing photos ? -That’s one fat pussy you got there -"Wov,that third photo in front of the car looks like a ""Peg Bundy - before"" picture." -I bet you use a telephone pole… -You keep doing pole dancing while all the men keep pole vaulting over you. -“I just want to feel something.” I’m sure your gaping vagina feels the same way -Too pad the poke has to be a telephone pole -She meant pillar dancing. Ain’t no way she dancing around a pole. -"You must pole dance recreationally then, because there is not a single man I know who'd willingly hand over singles to them honey glazed hams for ass cheeks you got there." -They're making poles out of titanium now? -Idk but your cat looks exactly like my cat and I got scared for a second wondering where my Chloe was. -"I assume you’d like actually stripping, but no one will hire you. So you pole dance in your living room for your cats." -"You might like pole dancing, but the ceiling doesn't like you." -You look like the type of women men are after when they just want to feel something. -You look like one of the witch sisters from Hocus Pocus -You look like you would get offended by the geek vs nerd song from Rhett and Link -That’s one strong pole to hold that ass up . -You look like you do anal on the first date and say you've never done this before -I’m not sure how you have managed to look like 5 different people in the 5 pictures that you provided -Cat lover? That’s a start!!👍 -First time I ever felt bad for a pole -leave your cats out of this…. -pronouns would be mentally/ill -You do look like you pay to pole dance instead of get paid to pole dance. -25????? Oh sweetie 😐 -I feel sorry for the cats. The shit they probably witness smeared during your pole nights is probably unbearable. -Of course you like cats...offfff course you like cats -Pole dancing ? What fuckin pole are you dancing on that don’t fold up under your weight -You look goofy when you're serious -You look like my friend from Nashville. She’s a lesbian and has 8 cats. -I hope you mean watching pole dancing for all our sakes -Irl Meg Griffin -"You like pole dancing, but the pole does not like you dancing on it." -1000's of beautiful girls and 3 ugly ones .. here's one of the ugly ones. -Looks like an OF ad to me -You look like a pornstar lol -I no longer wonder what the poledance equivalence of the kangaroo breakdancer is. Turns out anyone can go famous for zero points. -Did they not sell cow print leggins? -Pole bending* -"In the third picture, why are you squatting like that next to your car?" -When you are on the pole it looks like a lolipop candy -I feel bad for the pole -"Masturbating with a cane pole isn't actually ""pole dancing""" -What about pole dancing cats? -You need to get therapy for your cat! -That’s asking a lot of the pole. -Why the long forehead? -I'd love to see you pole dancing. Naked. At the south pole. -Must be one sturdy pole..... -Try kegels you might start to feel something. -Like a telephone pole? -Probably an OF market for ugly woman dancing on a cat tower pretending to be a stripper. At least ur dad and brother would subscribe -Eew -"They say a fathers goal is to keep their daughter off the pole, but they never said why 😂😂😂 dont quit your day job i promise you'll need it" -You look like you pole dance on your cats scratching post. -Must be on thick pole... -"Get back on the pole and back on the spit, you're a half cooked roast chicken that your cat stole from the garbage." -Looks like that pole is the only pole you get -"That had better be a really well-made, heavy-duty pole." -We’re gonna need a bigger pole… -Nothing more i want then a pole dancing crazy cat lady -"Does it bother you that your guy ""friends"" only ask you to go with them to the strip club because they get lap dances at half price?" -"If plain yogurt started a sexy hobby to meet people, but instead just got another cat" -"The pole probably wants to implode like the titan, from all that pressure." -That’s just a really rough 25. -you look like emily blunt if she spent the last 15 years eating mud cakes at 3 am -It hard to dance with that Forest Whitaker eye goin on? -the second photo reminds me of someone… -It takes someone really special to be a pole dancer and still end up a cat lady. -Residency at the the local petting zoo now available. Former Howler Monkey cage open. -Maybe if I start pole dancing people will think I'm interesting -"I feel bad for the psychiatrist who has to evaluate you. - -Also your kitty is super cute ❤️" -You have my body type and I hate myself. boom tandem roast -You're definitely one of those teachers who sucks off her students because he gets you -And by pole you mean a 14 inch support pole right? Cuz ain't nobstrupper pole holding your fat ass up -"I cant imagine a pole being able to support you, nor a men that would be willing." -I didn't know they made poles strong enough for that -"You want to feel something? Run your fingers lightly across your face and feel the braille. Your skin probably says, “wash me”." -ewww women (discaugsting) -Gonna have to be a Telephone pole. -If you pole danced for me I would ask for my time back -Cats and pole dancing? The terminally single -Even the cat is looking to bolt from you. -"Bunch of cat ladies, I say... with no stake in the future of our country" -That must be a pretty sturdy pole. -You look like Katy Perry but with an extra chromosome. -You look like you need to feel what the gym and exercise feel like -Can I assume the Poles agreed to that? -You will never feel the love of a man. -That poor pole... -You'll feel something one you hit that wall. -Im assuming several guys have said they loved you and you believed every one of them -Looking the way cat piss smells -You have a lot of 1 month relationships. -I really like the picture of you breaking into the car -"If I told AI to build the most average woman possible, I think it would create you... but with extra fingers." -"I suggest doing Kegels if you want to feel anything, canyon girl...." -"Once you're done taking a shit on the grass, don't forget to pick it up. You don't want to get fined for dog mess" -I'm not good at roasting first time trying but you look like you would be the d squad in a strip club. Any good -Paleface -Even the pole cringes at your touch. -watching you pole dance would be like watching a rotisserie chicken cooking on a pole -The pole needs a tetanus shot after coming in contact with you. -"You: “I just want to feel something.” - -Pole: “I feel everything.”😩" -No strip club would hire you and so now you pole dance in the alley for tomcats. When your friends ask how much it pays you tell them “It sprays a lot!” -"Pole dancing as a sport, lol. Stripping becoming an Olympic sport gives everyone a reason to go to strip club for sporting event. Corporate outing at the strip club" -"I can tell you like cats bold of you to put a picture of you in leopard, print, crouching and looking back. -Literally LOL" -"No club owner would let you on their poles. - -Except maybe Beef. They do crazy shit there." -If I walked into a club and you were pile dancing there I'd walk right out. -Your cats get more action during your Netflix and chill dates than you do -"You’re gay -Leave straight ppl alone" -Well your Cat already touched the pole so that’s a feeling! 😂😂 -"By ""pole,"" you mean a hydro pole, right?" -"So crouching by the car like you’re going to pop a squat, with leopard print leggings or tights? That just exudes “WT at its finest.”" -Had to start stripping to pay her way through living alone with 9 cats -You like cats so much you've adopted your sense of fashion from their litter box. -Her car has a better looking pussy -"You’re that kind of mid fat that is going to get you in a soul cycle cult. - -It won’t work by the way. You make bad eating choices. - -Upswing is that some idiot that graduated from “the school of hard knocks” will probably wife you up and won’t care how fat you get." -Were you squatting to “touch grass” in those leopard-eseque tights? Your Influencer would be proud of you. -Why do you like pole dancing?? you are not even hot -If you were better at pole dancing you probably wouldn’t need so many cats -These roasts are pretty lame and unimaginative. Perhaps if you were unattractive or made duckfaces you’d get what you apparently need. -Must be one strong ass pole -May I pet your cat? -"I've seen these pictures before when I asked midjourney ""what does desperation look like?""" -She can’t feel anything down there because she pole dances. -Christ if you need to resort to Reddit to “feel something” I think you have deep insecurities that need exploration with a therapist. -Must be a sturdy pole -He he he She said cats and poles… he he he -Yes because the cat is dependent and the pole physically cannot back away from your advancing thighs. -Your neighbors called the humane society cause they got a stiff whiff of polecat coming from yer place. -"Man, what kind of pole can hold you??" -you want to FEEL something? I bet you feel ALL the wind blowing across your five head -You mean you cant feel the pole between your legs? -Holy cow and I mean that quite literally. I'd feel sorry for that pole -Poles got to sign a waiver form before being used by you. -I have a feeling that second sentence is used regularly in your day to day life. -"You look like my future ex wife, and I am already a trainwreck" -"Just how hard are you finding pole dancing exactly because my god, you don’t look a day under 35." -So....do you slide up and down the pole or just slide down on a pole? -"Its good that you like cats, I see a lot of them in your future" -"I own seven cats and would watch you pole dance all night. Sorry, no roasting. I probably deserve it more 😊" -That 3rd pic is such a good self roast that we really don’t have to do anything here… -"You like pussy - -And cats" -Yeah we can tell you like pussy -Smells like low tide at the wharf -"You must be renting that massive space on your forehead to pay for the ""pole"" dancing." -"25 😂. Nah, you like you’ve already been through your first divorce. Hence the cats. I’m callin at least 38." -Pole dancing? More like I beam dancing in your case -The only pole you’re dancing on is a dildo. -"Fiancé gums, Hocus Pocus cat, pole dancing, and bruxism. You're the human embodiment of Tumblr." -"""I just want to feel something, give me what you got"" is exactly the same pickup line she uses to try and get any man to actually have sex with her" -You could hold onto the pole with your chin -Do you pole dance with your cats? -When pole dancing people pay you tips to stop. -"My god, pic 3 you look like a deranged semen demon" -"It’s as if “my apartment smells like weed, pussy, and bottom notes of cat piss” were a person." -Billy Relish -Why are you taking a shit on your lawn? -So there's two reasons your place smells like tuna... -"You're the one JD Vance warned us about. - -Edit for typo" -You feel like a good person trying to have a bad girl image just to impress ur crush and miserably failing at it. -Surprised the pole can stay hard enough for your dancing -I feel like we could be good friends but I also feel like you’d be my “cautionary tale” friend that I’d refer to a lot when you weren’t there. -"Telephone pole dancer, yep I can see it." -Id be wearing of you dancing on anything but a stone column -"The only reason you stay till closing on swingers night, isn’t because you hope someone is desperate enough to take you home. But so you can steal the left over shrimp for your cats to buy their affection." -"I could help you feel something, but it would just be disappointment and dispair and lots of depression and self loathing after. You seem like you've felt enough of that though. Sorry I couldn't help." -A pole dancing cat lady? -Cats AND pole dancing? Who hurt you? -Happy to hear that a stripper pole is made for your weight class. Your OF page must be a great success. -I’ll pay you to put your clothes back on. -third pic looks like you want to BE a cat -Got them Birch trees for legs. -You stopped pole dancing because the pole bends sideways -Little goth but I’d hit -"Damn, how many poles you break or bend in a week? Lookin like 2 Hippos tryin to wrestle in a black sleepin bag. P.s. fatty’s are gross!" -comment -"My dude you have stupid tattooed on your forehead, what do you need us for" -My high school desk looks all grown up -I think you can farm karma/upvotes everyday for a year on r/shittytattoos with original content only -"sorry, were not hiring" -So you're the guy all those t-shirts are pointing to. -You got some shit on your face hommie... -Have you ever made a good decision? -"I can’t roast you. All I see is a broken man. I don’t even know you, but I can see right through you. Stay sober and stop self-destructing, bro. Take care of yourself…you’re worth it. I promise." -"Bro, I've seen public toilets with less scribble on their doors and walls, than on your face and upper body." -This is an honest question. What made you get the face tats? Like why would you do that? -Nobody can sue you for false advertising because of your tattooing Stupid on your forehead -"Is this RoastMe request sponsored by Sharpie? - -You look like a front runner for Mr April on the Cartels 2025 calendar" -How you look like the suspect AND the victim of a hate crime? -“The chair does not recognize Mr. Low Self Esteem and will continue to ignore him. Thank you.” -"Holy fuck my dude. I can't even roast you. Like, the forehead tattoo....I just can't even." -I've been looking for someone to do low quality welds or sell me the worst concrete slab ever poured. It looks like I've found him. -“Do I look like an idiot to you!? It’s like I have STUPID tattooed on my forehead!” … oh wait -"So what's it like never having to answer, ""So where do you work?""" -If a middle school desk magically became a person -"Reminds me of that joke where im in a room with a gun, two bullets, you, hitler, and manson but I still decide you should get both rounds." -I don't think the stupid tattoo is big enough -You were ‘told’ wrong OP! Imma suggest r/mugshots. -Holy shit. I can't believe someone would actually choose to do this to themself -Insane Clown Pussy -You look like the gang member that gets beaten up by the boss -"Alright, I need to hear the story. How did you get those tattoos? - -Meth ? Mental health ? Had a sleep over at a tattoo parlour and was the first one asleep ?" -I had a desk in middle school that looked just like you. Including the chewing gum for ears. -"I swear the first thing I thought when I saw the first pick was ""if stupid had a face"". Then I saw the second pic and low and behold" -"Holy shit bro, you wrote stupid on yourself? Way worse than anything we could say. That was your choice? I guess it's probably true" -I see prison changed TheBudday -"You’ve got ‘STUPID’ written on your forehead, but somehow that’s still not the dumbest decision you’ve made." -His favorite candy is Everlasting Jobstoppers -They say an inmate gets a tattoo every time he takes it up the ass. Guess you are the first one hoping for a life sentence. -"Face tats are your personality... Well, face tats and felonies." -"It looks like your fellow inmates said they would not fuck you in the ass if you get the ""Stupid"" tattoo; then they proceeded to fuck your ass." -For how many years were you Bubba’s cell mate? -"I read your CV/Resume and your profile checks out. We need someone to frighten Grannies down at the Old Folks Meetings to make sure there’s no violence. Every Tuesday and Thursday from 2-5pm. You get a stab-vest and a pair of Brass Knuckles. They’ll need disinfecting after any use, don’t want old dears dying do we?" -"This dude was probably awesome back when he smoked meth, now he's just a united supermarket team lead. Not a bad life, but it's not as good as crushing a 24 pack in the driveway, spun out of your mind on a 7 day bender, laying in the bed of ur pickup truck waiting for ""people"" to try to rob you. While the demons tell you to pour bleach on your dick, after the questionable hookup you had the night before." -I would’ve kept the hat on homie 😂 -When keeping it real goes wrong -Dude looks like a desk in detention -You look like the table in the back of a classroom -"Out of all the people that molested you, which was your favorite?" -"Nah, You’re tattoo guy already permanently roasted you." -First time I see someone tattooing their name on the forehead. -"It's a face, not a public bathroom stall." -You literally don't belong anywhere. -Stupid is as stupid does. And you’ve does a lot of stupid. -What’s the point? You disgrace yourself. -... did you pay money for those tattoos? -That is pretty awesome that you let your neighborhood kids to do your ink! -"When’s the last time someone agreed to fuck you for free? - -For research purposes. I’m conducting a study…" -Impossible to roast something this embarrassing -"Guy can fall asleep anywhere, safe in the knowledge that no one can draw anything worse on his head." -You look like a middle school kids notebook -"*""It's a thin line between trying to be tough/intimidating & just outright ridiculous""*" -sir you are on the wrong reddit. r/shittytattoos is where you meant to post. -"Wtf is the big deal?? -My man just needs to add the -"" I -ain't"" -above the forehead tatt and BADDABOOM! You legit again" -One more tat and its blackface -"So what you’re saying in the 2nd photo is that United Supermarkets will basically hire anyone ? - --edit: I was high so used “higher” instead of “hire”" -Prison Mike -Well it looks like you started the roast early -"What the fuck is on your face, moron" -Halloween just ended ....but (just a suggestion)... have you considered wearing a mask for the other 364 days of the year? -With the hat.. you look kind ganged up.. without the hat you look like a gym teacher that lost a bet! -Forehead tattoo is accurate -"Tattoo Artist : so what kinda ink you’re looking to get? -Just gimme the MS 13 special" -I think they meant r/shittytattoos -Power bottom Mexican prisoner. -Fuck me! Roast you!? You already did it to yourself -Did you get drunk and pass out at a prison tattoo convention? -"You look like you live a life filled with regrets, if you dont, you should." -IQ 51 Checks out -"My mom always used to ask me when I tried to lie, “do I look like I’ve got stupid written on my face??” Today I get to show her someone who actually does…" -The poster boy for unemployment -What the ACTUAL FUCK am I looking at???? -"There is absolutely no way you did not get that ""STUPID"" tattooed on your forehead anywhere other than prison. - -So I gotta know- what did you do to make them give that to you? Initiation or punishment?" -"This is photoshopped, right?" -"The forehead tat is unnecessary, the other ones already tell us all we need to know." -I’ve never actually seen anyone label themselves correctly. -"I have genuinely never seen someone utterly fuck up their life photo by photo outside of a Meth PSA. - - -You should given yourself the name.""Nadir"" as you are beyond the point of return." -And no ink on his little skinny arms -Well at least you have self awareness. -Damn you must’ve really fucked up to get STUPID on your forehead. Pissed off the wrong people is what it looks like -Pretty sure you roast yourself every day leaving the house looking like that. -If regret was a living organism. -I don’t think you belong anywhere…… -Nope. Belongs over at r/shittytattoos -Bad Life Choices: the person -Hard to beat that forehead roast. -You are surprisingly self aware with that forehead tattoo. -Forehead tattoo fits. -Youre right -"After seeing a picture of you, I'm beginning to buy what Trump was selling. - -I don't care if you're an immigrant of not - I just want you on a mass deportation bus back to somewhere far away." -Can you say “unemployable”? -As master Obiwan once said “You have done that yourself” -"Are you a scrap or a peckerwood -Genuine question" -Dude what the fuck -"Alexa, define poor judgement" -Looking like Post Postpone 🙏 -"Someone actually hired you? -United must really desperate and scrapping the bottom of the barrel if slipped through the cracks." -"Nah damn the roast, why the hell do you have “stupid” tatted on your forehead? In the biggest font imaginable?!" -"The sign on his right cheek says: ""Aim here.""" -"No regrets I see, not even a forehead" -Nothing to roast here guys... His forehead beat us to it -This is the first time I’ve seen the OP do a better job of roasting themselves than the comments -Was this post a condition of your parole release? -A man who makes great life decisions. 🙄 -You don’t belong anywhere -"Do you see Stupid tattooed across my forehead? Oh wait, shit…" -Dudes got a 10 on his chin. His prison throat rating. -At least you are honest… -What’s the biggest STUPID decision you’ve ever made? 😂 -Stupid is as stupid does. -Don't leave your half-empty modelos around this foo -When he looks in the mirror he wonders “Why does it say DIPUTS on my forehead?” -"Dang, I’d have that hat tattooed on." -I'm just going to assume that you lost a bet and your choices were to get a tattoo of stupid on your forehead or suck a dick.... -"Sorry for your face dude. Are you still proud of it or have you matured enough to realize it was -Fucking stupid." -"They don’t call them AB tattoos anymore, they call them mildly obese nerdy white dude tattoos" -I can't roast you OP but hope you're ok! Maybe look at getting that shit removed -You look like you’ve lived a life without any ragerts -You have a double chin -Words of wisdom to consider my friend…”Don’t drop the soap”. -I’ll take “people who should be sterilized” for 500$ please -How's unemployment for you? -"His mother is wondering if it's too late for an abortion while his father tells people his son is a convicted paedophile who died in an auto-erotic asphyxiation accident, neither of them are willing to confess that this walking disappointment is the product their having an incestuous tryst." -"You're making very good life choices, sir." -“Why is he wearing that ugly thing on his hea—-ohhhhhhhh….” -Nice to see gangs participate in Make-A-Wish -I'd have loved to be a fly on the wall during the United interview as this guy sits here with Stupid on his forehead. -So how many decades did you spend in prison? -I didn't know jails had timeshares. -At least they didn't tattoo penises on you when you were passed out -Well at least you are self aware. -Ohhhh shit someone fell asleep at the party first 😆 -Price check on a douche isle 9. (See his shirt emblem). -I'm sure you've *never* been arrested. -Is this why dudes wear backward hats all the way down over their eyebrows? -"Man….George Castanza really hit a low point after Seinfeld ended, huh?" -White Boy A.K.A “Cholo Gringo” with stupid tattooed on forehead…pretty much sums it up. -A walking Billboard of Idiocy! -We get it. You had a good time in prison. -Your forehead says it all. -Since when do the let people paint their cells? America is too soft on crime -How'd you get a job? -Jesus H... you are the type that sits across people on the bus. They are scared of you... and you are terrified of them.... -"""This is your brain on drugs, any questions?""" -"Nothing anyone can say here will trump tattooing ""stupid"" on your own forehead." -When you order Post Malone from wish -"He always looses the ""do i look like i have stupid written across my forehead?"" argument every time" -This is what my dad meant when he asked me if he had stupid written across his forehead.. i see it now. -You can slap as much paint on a turd as you want it's still gonna look like shit -And he's not gay if he just let's it sit in his mouth till the swelling goes down? -"He and his girlfriend thought it was hilarious that she had “I’m With” tattooed on her forehead. - -Even though she “mysteriously” passed away right after she cheated on him, he keeps the gag going by storing her decapitated head in his deep freeze." -Schizo Rick Moranis -He’s in the middle stages of transitioning into the side of an inner city train car. -After Big Bubba treated him like a toilet he tagged him up like one as well -"Dude you come with a branding label, at what point did it all go to shit? Which drug or drugs was it?" -I see your name is on your forehead -So tempted to comment but don't want to get murdered. -If regret had a face.. -What a tough guy. I’m shaking in my boots. -"“Thankz 4 da F-shack, luv Dirty Mike n Da Boyz.”" -You look like you've done 15 years in prison for possession of child p¤rn 💀 -"middle aged man who enjoys music, tattoos, prison time and working dead end jobs ." -Dude moonlights as a railcar. -did you fall asleep first at the sleepover? -A gloryhole’s circumference has less graffiti than your face and that tells a fucking lot -And here I was thinking everyone looks stupid wearing a hat inside -well at least you are self aware -What is the over/ under on this dude winding up .. BACK in prison by the end of 2025? -Did you lose a bet? -Post ... Alone. -I never comment… but what is wrong with you? -When people get Stupid tattooed on their forehead... believe them. -Guy wears headphones because he can hear his face. -The My dad left to get cigarettes starter pack -How do I roast a person who already tattooed STUPID on his forehead? You already spoke for yourself dawg -"I have a theory that all people with face tattoos are morons, still yet to be disproved." -"Tattoo artist here. -There's a reason I refuse to do face tattoos." -You're stupid and brave. This is the first roastme that made me go wtf -"This guy does vandalism to himself and to society. - - Every choice he's ever made has ruined somebody's life. - -Babies question their own existence when they see him. - -Dogs cowar to his scent." -The tattoos say everything -"Guess your friends can wear the ""I'm with stupid ➡️"" shirt and it would make sense" -"Hey everyone...look at ME!! -Over here! LOOK!! -Look at MEEEE 🙄 - -Please - go get some consealer and some integrity." -That forehead tattoo couldn't be more right! -if mental illness had a mascot -When the other prisoners grow bored of your prolapsed anus. -"Literally no need, you did that yourself." -"You look like they had to correct the way you spelt the word ""stupid"" before they tattooed it" -Damn bro. You might be the biggest loser I’ve ever seen. The epitome of a loser. That’s huge. -"Holycow the ""stupid"" Tattoo across your face says it all." -Repost Malone. -"well your job prospects are slim. then again, you probably have a good chance at becoming a US President" -You have already roasted yourself with the big “STUPID” across your forehead. I mean are you stupid? -If that's what the other inmates did your your face i can only imagine what they did to your asshole -Only a chomo would have stupid permanently on their forehead. -"Hey look, the chomo from the PC rock just got released…" -"If open to it, should do an AMA, here or some tattoo sub. Your story has to be interesting, I’m sure it’s filled with things you’re proud of, things you’re not and a ton of “you had to be there but here it is”. Best of luck on your journey, without making any assumptions, stay focused, people around you love you and keep moving forward." -Who is going to Hire you? Do you even work? -Bro comes with his own captions -No need to roast you your tattoo artist did all the work for me -"Why hello, Lom McBonald" -I could limbo under your self-esteem -The prettiest set of eyes and lips on his cell block -"No need for me to roast you, you have the word Stupid tattooed on your forehead. You are fucked enough." -Your face looks like a tagged train box car geezus krist broke Malone -So how many Trump flags do you fly from your F-250? -"Brother, you have deep deep abandonment issues, please seek therapy and stop the self destructive behavior, I know you have probably never felt like you fit in, but trying to reject society before it can reject you will never give you the peace you want." -He looks like he was the first to fall asleep at an all boys sleepover -I don’t have anything to add  -"DUDE, this isnt a roast yet. You need to send your pics to YMH studios. You will 100% be on as they make fun of you. I'm genuinely telling you to email or send ymh a message. They'll find you and you'll be famous!" -Are you still eating the neighborhood cats? -Thank you for posting. You are a unique individual and some of these roasts had me rolling on the floor. Especially the person who compared you to an elementary school desk that was fn hilarious. You brightened up my day and I hope you are having fun reading these too. Don't take any of it personal! -Dudes gonna jack off to ur comments -4 head tat is the only one that makes sense -Does tattoos for all the 16yr old girls in the trailer park -Can't argue with his forehead -Does stupid work? -"Wheres the belly tattoo that says ""I'm fat because after every time I fuck your mom,she makes me a sandwich""" -"What do u take me for, does it say stupid in my forehe… - -Nvm…" -I can’t….your daughter did enough damage with her markers already.. -Fuck the roast man. If you've done this to yourself I can tell you're hurting inside. Stay away from the self-destruction and stay sober. You are loved -Hello -"Ok, shot in the dark, have you experienced some traumatic shit as a child? Because it shows.." -"I would roast you for your face tattoos, but in this case, I think they've helped." -"Dude, there is tattoo removal that is affordable. You're not dumb, just lost. Get those removed and start over. I'm gonna assume you lost your shit on Hallucinogenics. Come on buddy get it together." -If riverside was a person -"You do have fat ankles though. they make those nice shoes look horrible. is someone insecure about there weight?? is that why you got so butt hurt ?? and destroy me out can't be any worse than your childhood so I suppose you can ""destroy"" me now... And who is everyone else ?? Do you also have multiple personalities?? Well I'll be waiting for your destroying comment back. You can come up with someone better than Utah mother fucker rite .?? And everyone is talking about punctuation rite. Your messing it up for me here, I thought for sure you had it rite. And then your last message. Horrible just horrible talk about someone's grammar and punctuation than not do it in your message. Highly disappointed 😞☹️ make the next one better so I can be there attention here. 🥱🥱😭😭😀😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣" -"Knowing there is laser tattoo removal available, this then becomes a personal decision to keep something that probably makes life ,at times, difficult. You can even find the laser available for purchase if you know where to look. Having said that, no where other than prison, is this going to honestly be an acceptable expression of self that will be accepted by society as a whole. I also understand that is the exact reason people do it. So what am I saying here? Be you, do you. If life gets too tough, there IS an out." -I need a back story. -i like them lol -"No hate at all. Remove the face tats, start loving yourself & have a happy life my friend. - -Everyone you see is struggling, so be kind to yourself, understand that you deserve all life has to offer just like everyone else & realize that where ever you are in life you can start from there & make your life what you want it to be. - -I’m cheering for you brother." -Honestly genius. Your forehead is a literal 4th wall break. This guy is on cutting edge of discovering other dimensions. -"Too easy, pass" -"I think people should stick to using their minds as a canvas, not their body’s" -Thank you for making me feel better about my tattoo. -You look like the school desk at the back of the room -comment -Salim Shady -They got a Mr. Bean for every ethnicity. -You are obviously one of the 72 virgins that are so often talked about. -"Your face says 1983 Saddam Hussein with fewer friends, but your body says mental patient with no friends. Also, your fingers say chronic masturbator." -Your eyes are so close together they are almost in the same socket. -"Yeah, I can see why you guys blow yourselves up." -"So hot, i rate you 9/11" -Are you an eye man or an ankle man? -"Now I get the blockade on Qatar – it wasn’t politics, it was a regional intervention to keep you from crossing the border. - -You look like a rejected intern from the Ministry of Overconfidence and Underachievement, whose entire personality revolves around a scratched-up Land Cruiser, double parking outside the mall while making creepy eye contact at every non-niqabi you see, and withholding your maid’s passport like it’s a family heirloom." -Arab Doofy from Scary Movie -You look like you disappointed your parents by wasting your college degree and working in a convenience store to prove your love to your to your Caucasian girlfriend named Richard -Those skinny fingers couldn’t create a bomb if they tried -You are looking assad as possible. -"""Burn me to crisps 🔥"" - -\*Just take your hat off and walk outside during the day." -If you crossed your eyes your pupils would touch. -Incelshallah -You look like Freddy Mercury if he was AI generated as a muslim -I bet you can hear us roasting you across the globe. -Sadman Pussay -Rich Arabs have six wives and ten sex slaves cleaning their homes. You have one 68 year old Bangladeshi woman who charges you $1 per month and you're behind on payments. -Prince of No Labia -You let your camel ride you... mother bitch. -I bet flying is fun for you. -Osama never-Bin Laiden -Why are you posting on Reddit? Didn’t you just flee to Moscow seeking asylum? -They call you the greatest oil sheik but thats because you smell like gas stations -"You look like a devout, religious, family man that flies women in on the weekend to pee on him in hotels." -Even 72 virgins will ignore you. -This is why they have arranged marriages. -"Close your ears, you're blocking my Wi-Fi signal." -can you use that rope on your hat to tie your clown ears back? -Your face is smaller than your phone -Don’t need cable when you already have integrated satellite dishes -I bet you can hear other people's thoughts. -Where's my damn shawarma?! -"When I see that face I think: Good God, where does that plane go to?" -At least you can clearly hear the cries of the people you oppress -You're never going to find a husband with that facial hair Miss. -Uhm …age hasn’t been good to Aladdin… -You look like you’re going to self explode any minute now -You trafficking children in those ears? -You look like a Mexican who is roleplaying as a middle eastern man. -"He’s not actually from the UAE, he’s called Brian and he’s from Huddersfield. He’s just a bit of a prick that’s all…" -How often do they *randomly* check you at the airport? -"Judging from the look on your face, the goat was in a mood today." -May the jet fuel ease your journey into the after life brother! -Closest this guys gets to any action is at the TSA check point. -"Don’t worry buddy, you’ll burn to crisps when the bomb goes off." -Just keep waiving those ears to oxygenate the roast. -The face of a man who's failed his bombing class -You look like you’ve had a conversation with Chris Hansen. -I wonder if this post will blow up? -This is ironic… because “burn to a crisp” is what you keep posting online that you’re going to do to all the “infidels”. -I can smell you through this picture. -Look like hot dog with eyes and mustache -"Not gonna bash you, you look pretty good for having survived repeated stonings for being a homosexual" -i bet your name is Muhammad -Bro your fingers are gross -A face not even 72 virgins could love. -This ain't the twin tower reddit page bruddah -"When you flap your ears, how far do you glide?Please provide short gif. Thank you." -I’d look grumpy af too if I had to dress like a tampon every day. -You look like you almost have an extra chromosome. -I’m just here to say this is one of the best roasts I’ve seen in a while. Thank you for your sacrifice 🫡 -You look like you ejaculate pure hummus. -I bet this guy's birthday is 9/11 -When your wife wants a bomb time but all you have to show is a small kebab -You look pretty tall! What are you like 9’11”? -Your mustache is………….the bomb -"When you were born, Allah was on Vacation!" -"Damn, you are so roastable" -"I just want to thank you for posting this. The comments are hilarious, the comedy is real, this brightened my day🤣👌" -Arabic Mr. Potato Head -He looks like he hunts foreign laborers by drone for sport. -Haven’t you burned enough people already? -Lookin like a old school Cadillac with the doors open -Introduction to 'Inbreeding 101'. -"Can’t get women to look at you. So, you married your 12 year old cousin through an arranged (read: forced) marriage because “Sharia says it’s cool.” Now that she’s 18 she’s moved out of the country and fucking your best friend who got out of your cult, . And your buddy obviously got the better end of the gene pool. Why would you even post here? There’s so much material." -You look like the bastard son of Colonel Sanders after he had too much whiskey one night and fucked his cab driver. -"I can’t, you own all the oil." -Im sure if u press the button connected to ya vest ...you will roast yaself -"Only way bro gets a woman is by taking away all their rights, and marrying them before they've had a chance to develop any taste." -Fingers to play the piano well. Ears to hear me play the piano badly from across the globe. -Aren’t you supposed to burn yourself to a crisp? -I bet you know how to fly planes into the ground -Why don't you have to cover your face when you go out in public? -You look like a duck. 🦆 -I think genetics were effective enough. -You look like one of the guys from super troopers got lost in the UAE and decided to make the best of it. -I don't even have to type my roast. I just say it out loud and undoubtedly you can hear me. -How much have you spent to fly out American college chicks to shit on? -"You look like an Arab temu Tom Selleck. - -Wtf is with those alien fingers - -You definitely get your butthole fingered by TSA every plane trip you take. And probably go through security just to spice up a Saturday night. - -You look like every cartoon terrorist ever drawn. - - -Ok that's all I got have a good one hope it made someone smile a little. - -Edit to add... i see those tissues on your desk. And bet the lotion is behind you. Is it beastiality or gay furry porn on the other tab?" -I bet you hear em drones comin -Did you steal your ears from a Mr PotatoHead? -You should go steal something asap so they can chop that awful right hand off -Give Slenderman his hands back ! -Alien Face-Huggers for hands. -God was not most great with you my sir -I’d roast you but I don’t feel like getting beheaded today -I hope when you meet your 72 virgins they're all redpilled incels -Just get on a plane and let it land buddy -"When skydiving, you dont need a parachute. Your ears will handle this." -I hope your parents arranged your marriage when you were young. -I feel like if I roast you I’ll be murdered by someone. -U look like you are going to board a plane -You look like you can't even get one wife. -Youll do it yourself in the name of Allah you don't need us -I can’t cause I’m to busy getting scam calls all day -Quit flying those fucking drones over new jersey -"If you eat pork, you’d definitely will burn to a crisp" - A face only an arranged cousin could love. -"You look like your parents are cousins, wait they're lol" -Your parents will do that for you when they meet your boyfriend. -You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals -"If you were gay, your people would do it for you 🔥" -At least you've got your failed arranged marriage to look forward to. -The ears help dissipate heat. -"أذانيك كبر الباب و هالاتك تنفع اكياس و مشهب -مافهم الفكره الي تعجبك في الحركات ذي أتوقع انه kink من نوع ما -Anw overall eww/10" -When you order a terrorist on Temu -Brother eeeuuuuuuuwww -If ur here? Whos hijacking the plane? -Rowan Atkinsonanaj -"The vest under your clothes might do it first..... - -(I'm sorry)" -Now I understand what they mean when they say %20-%50 of Arabs are inbred. -With those ears you can he what others think. -i dont need to burn you and you know why -Probably a Cristiano Ronaldo fan that get aroused when someone call him 'goat' -"The bomb should roast you when it goes off, sir." -I think youd do it to yourself anyways -nice tissue box next to the computer monitor -Can you hear all this? -Are you a “pilot”? -Roasting? for you stoning. -"With those ears idk why al queda even bothered hijacking planes, they coulda just rode u" -The Arab version of Dumbo -I’d cover 90% of my body if I was shaped like that too -Hassan bin Sober -"Authorities, I saw this man eating pork in a casino and drinking a beer. Pretty sure he called his god a bitch. - - - -Done." -"One would have thought the sun would do that to you in desert by now but nah, you just charred " -The backpack and Allah will do it for us -Looks like dude works at the Allah snack bar. -You must pee oil -72 virgins and they’re all first cousins. -You look like if you were fired from a canon the shock wave alone would knock down towers. -فشخوك -"Nah, I'll just wait for your vest to detonate" -This guy loves tea boys -You could fly away with those ears -Why? You a woman? -“Burn me to crisps”... im sure you’ll do that yourself some day -"If Osama Bin Laden had a brother as ugly as you, he would have directed the jets to your house instead." -Good morning pineapple -"With em ears you don’t need to hijack a plane, you can just fly yourself and crash against any important American building" -dumbo called wants his ears back -"They tried to send a msg to your pager, but your ears must have picked up the signal instead." -"Too easy. - -You look like your fetish is smelling the gunt between your toes. - -It's like you ask you mom for help finding a date." -The west loved mr potato head.. now introducing Mr kofte head -How do you have internet? -Bet you could hear me think from there -This is the result of interfering with Darwinism -"Don’t need to, a cruise missile will do it for me" -No way this dude is getting his 72 virgins... Even they're not that desparate. -Dude just blow yourself cuz ain't no girl blowing you -ISIS? More like ISisn’t -If generational disappointment was a person. -You could fly yourself into the twin towers with your ears alone -Whoever did your Ferengi makeup really nailed it. -"Good morning pineapple, you can't leave the hotel." -We can’t do any worse than life has already done to you. -Even instagram prostitutes reject you -You look like a comedian. What do you do for work? -"Quickly, before he roasts us!! 🤣" -"Dude, just put yourself out of your misery." -I'm definitely not getting on a plane with you -"Jasmine doesn't hide the smell of goat pussy, bro." -You look like a sheik who drives for Uber. -Bro got sonar detection hooked up to his vest. -You're fine. You just look like you're stuck in a middle level job and take shit from both sides. -"Nice try, Didi" -LMAO -They didn’t burn they melted. -"Your 72 virgins want to remain that way, Achmed" -you look like your all ears -I’d rather stone you -No wonder you guys sleep with kids. -"You would know all about how to burn crisps, since you know the melting point of steel beams" -You made me forget that 9/11 was an inside job -"Burn you? - -Isn't that the vest's job?" -"Do you belive in Allah, or do you have to belive in Allah? Look what he gave you." -"If I wanted to be responsible for burning you to crisps, I’d just pay for your next flight" -"I bet your head would explode if you saw a cartoon of the ""Prophet""." -You'll probably do that to your self aswell as a plane 💀 -Kkk really down bad huh... -"Bro you look like if a pig touched you, he would have to do the gusl." -Sorry for your regime falling -Roast him before he roasts us -When your 80 year old father kick you out for his 4th wife. You were probably from the 1st. -Careful y’all them big ears got radar no doubt -When you inherit a few millions less then your brother from 7th wife of your father. -"What... I mean seriously. - - - -This is either a troll or a terrorist who gets off on the idea of people burning to a crisp. - - -Either way...the dude in the picture has certainly fucked a goat before." -You have the fingers of a bomb maker. -WHAT ARE THOSE FINGERS FUCKING HELL -Please don’t burn us to a crisp -You look like a really good listener. -Tissue right by PC? 👀 -Do they get satellite tv or just cable.? -This is a superb way to improve international relations. Seriously. Humor heals divides. -"“The Uber is here, Mohammed!”" -No fly list -"Are you bringing the gold, frankincense or myrrh? Happy holidays." -Osama Been Lonely -"“Burn me to crisps 🔥” - -I’m sure you already made your wife and child do that to themselves in the name of Allah." -So this is what camel turds look like -Didn't the Syrian people just try to? -The flying school suddenly shuts shop and everybody hides when they see you coming. -"*Wears ideological attire* -Has no firm ideologies or sense of self" -I'm sure you heard my roast. -With your ears you don't need a airplain to fly into a tower. -You can hear the future. -"Anybody remember Quark, the Ferengi on Star Trek: Next Gen? So, yeah…" -"There's 72 virgins waiting for you. -Bad news is, they're all male goats." -If you want to be burned to crisps just drive through your hometown. I’m sure you’ll hit an IED -Ear-sama bin crap-tash -"My man goes swimming with that shemagh on, I saw it.... NERD!" -Didn’t your cousin do that on 9/11 -I think the bomb will do that for me -You'll do it yourself once the bomb goes off. -All of your 72 virgins are male -Get your ears trimmed or start wearing sunglasses on top of your forehead -You know those 72 virgins they promise? You are definitely one of them. -Last face Jamal Khasoggi… saw -Oh boy -The local goats look forward to Eid-al-Adha each year to finally escape you... -"Dude, what bet did you lose?" -Looking like the Saudi prince who got cut out of the oil business ! -"This isn’t supposed to be a burn… real talk. - -Do you or any of your friend network own some wild exotic pets like a lion or a spider monkey? - -Like, is that shit for real?" -wheres your 6 year old wife -Inbreeding since the Epic of Gilgamesh. -Is this a joke 😂 -Ali-dumbo -"Come on brother, daddy's money couldn't fix those ears?" -"I would say something mean , but afraid you'd bomb my ass." -This guys dad fucked a goat. And here he is. -Ears like open car doors. -"Fucking hell, despite being rich your life is shit isn't it?" -"Im afraid if i try to burn you, you will burn towers in my country" -temu saudi prince -It's way too easy. 🤷‍♂️ -"Why can I smell this picture? Also, did you take this pic after plucking your unibrow?" -"Somebody mentioned 72 virgins, I didn’t know they were all dudes like this!" -"Your traditional headwear provides the perfect opportunity to hide your ears, but those things are unstoppable!" -Looking serious but we know how dumb are you -"Why the fancy hat? You can cool yourself with those ears, just start waving them." -"""Burn me to crisps"" - -just press the button for your vest" -I’ll just say it out loud cuz you look like you could hear me from the Middle East -Bros ears can hear Sign Language -"This is the least halal looking picture I've seen , mr. Porky." -"This mf so ugly that even when he goes boom, those virgins still ain't fuckin him." -"Okay I agree, there's things that money can't buy" -How does it feel to be one of those rare poor Arabs? -Bro has that Dubai $$$ that'll make any beautiful woman hard to resist him -Looks like you can hear what I am thinking with those ears! -Are your eyes blue? Cause one blew left one blew right  -Being called Dubai isn’t a compliment -Sure you wouldn't prefer getting blown up? -When are your ears going to catch up to that big ass head? -Dude can hear if a woman is driving within 100 miles. -"wtf dude! Come on we can all see that dot. - -clearly this is a Indian in a Muslim costume" -"With ears that big, at least you can hear all of the insults." -You can hear light -Pretty sure your backpack will do that for us -You are both the poster child of why arranged marriages are needed and dreaded for your people. -Most Roast mes have a few hundred responses. You’ve got a couple thousand! You’re a winner! -Stop…just stop…he’s already dead…. -I can only think of racist stuff. Is it still allowed? -No problem. Just need your satellite coordinates. -I'd think you were about to bomb me if you didn't have the depth perception of a fucking cyclopes. -"He's ""Da Bomb,"" literally" -Aren’t you guys the best at roasting yourselves? -Yeah I have a feeling you’re gonna do that yourself…. -I thought the IDF already did -"""Burn me to a crisp"" I thought that was your plan all along." -No lie I been making these post my discord pics and letting them roast it and come back and say what they said -Elon will use those ears as a baseline design for his new rocket to the next galaxy -"Conjoined eyebrows and a porn-stash was a *choice*! It also seems like you choose the hair style to most exentuate your larger than average ear size, which was another interesting *choice*. - -Lastly, it’s okay for men to wear concealer. Just a fun fact that you may be interested in…" -Burn me to A crisp...ok now I would rather not given all the flammable materials you are are wearing upon your person 👍but I could pick you up by those ears on put you on the mantle piece an Asian vase -You look like you can hear the 72 Virgins and they're all talking about how big your ears are -You look like a meme. -Sort of looks like an Arabic “Buster Bluth”… -"""I'm too sexy for my phone, i'm too sexy for my shirt, i'm too sexy for my hat..""" -"I'd try, but the updraft from the heat would probably make you take off with those massive ears. I don't need a roast turning into a flight risk." -"Bro, you’re out here looking like the CEO of a hummus empire—ready to seal deals and steal hearts, one falafel at a time!" -I think youll do that to yourself with a few pounds of c4 next week -Your ears look like they’re trying to say hi to me -Not even daddies oil money can fix those ears -Your favorite battleship play is C-4. -I didn’t know any of the highjackers survived 9/11 but clearly you did and it makes sense considering how heinous your face looks. -All the youngest camels love you. -Is there a clause in your contract where you can get your 72 virgins before carrying out your jihad? Asking for a friend -"How do you guys tell each other apart? - - -Is there a law that you have to have a horrible 1970s gay porn star mustach like the one you have?" -Is Roast Me the 2024 version of Phone Home -Burn? Really? -You’ll eventually do it on your own -Dirka dirka jihad.  -Damn your eyes are really close together -"Yalla habibi, those ears jetting out so much your face looks like a panorama picture" -Ears like pee wee turban -"Your lips better use your ears to fly away, because that mustache has got them surrounded." -You look like you can only afford 2 lambos. 😔 -"Dude, you look extremely unhappy. I don't think I could come up with anything worse than your life has already given you. - -Hope you start feeling happier somehow" -comment -If you are 23 then I ain't even born yet. -You look like you need a backup generator for your vibrator -You look like you change vape cartridges more often than you change clothes -Every guy that dates you literally has to pretend \*those\* arent the only reason. -23? Fucking hell -23? Is this post from 2004? -Them titties look like they need deodorant. So just toss one over your shoulder and make sure you get in between your flaps. -You look like if the PE teacher and the English teacher had a kid -"“Please look at me tits and not my face please look at my tits and not my face” - -Take care of those tits, I suspect they do a lot of the heavy lifting in your life." -"You're cute but you scream ""Weed is my personality."" and ""I will poke holes in the condom if you try to leave.""" -You typed 43 wrong -How many selfies did you have to take to land on… those? -You look like you suffer from the female equivalent of premature ejaculation… -Sandra Bullock with a crippling heroin addiction -On the bright side you have two good reasons not to look at your face. -What happened to your teeth? Did you get them pulled after they tore off your upper lip? -You smell like an old couch. -If hit it once and never call back was a person -You look like you should be avoided at public gatherings -I can tell that your belly button is between your nipples if leave out the bra. -"All I see is a waste of a perfectly good set of tits. The tits of a model, the face of the runway they walk on." -The red skin might be from that herpes on you lip -Your skin is always red. Your bathrooms mirrors are always disgusting. You gotta be single af 😂 or got 4 kids 😎 -Dime store Jessica Rabbit -"Every one of these 'roast me' threads is just some slag who's completed Tinder, waving their tits around and demanding any sort of attention from strangers. It's just cringe." -You're younger than me and still look like you could be my mom -5 bucks says her step dad subscribes to her of -Your shoulders have shoulders. -Scientists are trying to figure out how long human can live without a brain. You can tell them your age. -Looks like you sleep with all of your friends and share the same straw -"So, what's your OF?" -You look like you’ve pissed in more baths than you’ve washed in -You look like you call your vagina “cat”. -"All this low effort attention-seeking for no economic benefit, that's a whole new level of dysfunction" -You look like you got discounts for rent -If the Mariana Trench was a person. -I bet you’ve spent many nights by your phone wondering if that guy you let smash last night is going to call. He isn’t. -This is why siblings shouldn't fuck. -You look like you give free blowies for a starbucks tea -You look like a 35 year old in recovery that is fighting your eviction from section 8 housing. -Daddy’s little disappointed! -"Your rack will never make up for your boy face. I can tell that’s what you’re trying to do and that’s also part of the problem. Definitely lost your virginity behind some sports bleachers, or in the back of an accord. Editing because I just saw that hitler stach worth of hair in your armpit in the last photo." -You would make thousands if you made a faceless OF. -This is at least your 7th year as a 23-year-old. -If Chlamydia had a face -Clean your fucking mirror instead of getting people to roast you you filthy whore. -You look like you have bad breath and yellow stained teeth. -"Drawing a sunflower with crayons doesn't make you seem younger.  Pretty sure there's a pot roast waiting to be taken out, you still need to finish sorting the laundry, and your teenage kids will need picking from baseball in half an hour so you'd better hurry up!" -A perfect blend of the best parts of PornHub Velma and the worst parts of Sheila Broflovski -You look like you bring the local property market down. -Your linebacker shoulders/ top heaviness and that big ass nose are the only things that I can pay attention to in these pics -When the farmer’s daughter goes rogue -You're probably the reason aliens don't make contact. -You look like you run the Ted Bundy fan fic website during your lunch break at Wendy's. -r/dontputyourdickinthat -You seem like you love telling people you have a boyfriend when you don't. -Stop apologizing and get naked I don't have all day! -Worry about the really off-putting stuff. Like that cold sore. -In a flood you could save a property by laying sideways and using your assets as a barrier. Just a side business idea. -"I can smell the bad PH, ginger through the screen...👃" -You look like you pick up undergrads at Costco by pretending you're a MILF. -Imagine being this obsessed with yourself and your looks only to have this be the end result -"At 23, you’re still a decade away from making terrible decisions in your life, and you’re already this low… Someone should realtime this disaster…" -Fuckable at 4am and the bar is closing … -You are my age and you look in your 40s. -23 ? 23 years to 60 year old you mean ? -23? Dayum you look 40. -Your blowjob game must be great. For you to suck that gut in and not look like the daughter of the Michelin man. -"Welcome to Daphnes only fans, Just 19.99 and Scooby might appear" -Just go to the NSFW subs if you want to promote your OF where you charge $60 for a picture of your tits -"Your nose is so big, it would be worth the entire planet suffering through Hitlers resurrection, just to watch you have to walk into the gas chamber." -Laura Prepoff -I don't know how to explain this properly... but when cleavage starts out separated at the very top? Well... it ain't good. -Those massive jewbs wouldn't have saved you from being sent to a camp. -Wow. No OF link. That makes me happy -Body like Baywatch but a face like Crimewatch. -I mean yes i'm horny but not that horny -Do you even lift bro? -How the hell did you get your face and ass in the same picture.. -You look like you watch space movies alone -You look like you only take it in the ass and are saving the rest for your “husband”. But no one will commit to a batshit crazy cat lady -She rolls her own tampons and kick starts her vibrator. -"You look like Felicia Day's fatter sister, Talladega Night." -You’ve got the tits of a cheerleader and the shoulders of a linebacker. They got you doing double duty on game night no doubt. -Your bra gonna need bungee cords when gravity hits -Your 23? They aren't kidding when they say gen z is aging like milk -"Girl, you're gonna pass out in pic 2 tryna suck that stomach in so much." -Congrats on the transition -Look like you never heard of closing the god damn door. -You can smell the cheap weed and old cum stains on her mattress -Drop them tiddies out. They’re your only redeeming quality. -"Fiiiiiine, plug your onlyfans, I know that's what this is." -"Shouldn't you be on a black couch somewhere, getting ""interviewed"" by a weird dude with a video camera?" -What’s disappointing for men is in this picture you are actually sucking on your tummy. This is Roast Me. Be honest and post a new picture. We can take it. -That shii on your lip got some shii on its lip -"you really splurged at the drug store this month with all your coupons, considering the box hair dye alone" -Don't you hate it when you don't wear a bra you keep tripping over your tits? -Pretty sure what you do to your body is considered a war crime -"I dont know who needs more help, you or your bra" -You look like a ginger Ms. Trunchbull with glasses. -Hey look! Another red headed stepchild trying to gain acceptance. Bus stops and gas station bathrooms not cutting it anymore? -You look like you've had more semen than the U.S. Navy... -You look like what you smell like -You have lip herpes 😭😭😭 -You are literally the dictionary definition of a butter face. Atleast you have something going for you I guess 🤷‍♂️ -Poopy Longstocking -When did Felicia Day hit rock bottom? -After 1 use your dildo would be considered pickled. -"With that shirt, Dudes call you Area 50-50 because they’re not sure if they would hit it." -Emotionally Attached: Happily ignores restraining orders -Hellboy: nope. -"23 going on 40, ready to run to Walmart to get some new vape cartridges" -You're lucky redheads are my weakness -Inverse centaur. Body of a human and head of a horse. 🐴 -When you order Lisa Loeb from TEMU. -23? Where you born on a leap year? -When your tits are your only redeeming quality. -Im roasting you so hard -"""Theres no such thing as chix with dix, just dudes wit titts""" -Not a roast. But the pattern of redness on your face that you said is always there could be an early sign of lupus erythematosus. Please have this checked. -You're every man's rock bottom before they finally get into therapy -You look like someone who had gender identity issues in their teens -"Oh, look. Those tits have a life-support system attached." -"Even Trump said, ""no, thanks""" -You’re the absolute definition of butter face. -"Didn’t find anything to roast, until I saw Aids on your lips (last picture 🤢)" -Who’s arm is that? -My BBC would probably enjoy -Why do dudes always want to get roasted?  -Big autistic tits you have there. 🤙🏻 -You'll be in DMs shilling an OF within moments of this post going viral. -Can’t tell if transiton or detransition -Actually shocked the profile is not full of discount links to OF. -Flash me -"Goes to profile for some background info, seeing NSFW warning, hits back button. Nah, I'm good" -23 going on 43 -You look like the person getting yelled at on a daily basis for lack of details. -Fake tits to distract from your face….doesnt help. -"Looks like you have a furniture problem, your chest is in your drawers" -Why did you take a selfie with a shirt full of cum stains? -"Lol, I was ready to roast you into the 19th dimension, then I saw that photo of you when you were 8. There is no way I'd roast someone who used to be that sweet." -But your pretty (I don't belong here) -That 'red skin' looks like a malar rash. You should probably visit a rheumatologist. It's a symptomatic of lupus and/or a couple of other auto-immune diseases. -"You post of Roastme so often, because that's the only attention you can get that doesn't leave you crying in bed" -You aint no damn 23 -You forgot to put your link in bio -Nice tits -You’re udderly beautiful! -23? Did you have a rough childhood? -What do you call it when the old soul is on the outside? -Having big tits isn't a substitute for a personality. -Can tell by your cleavage you have saggy tits -"Now my phone is all sticky, REPORT YOURSELF !!!" -You’re lucky you have two big distractions from your nose -"Yo, not even roasting I thought you were 48." -I think I’ve seen you in a certain website -Ugly ass red he’d built like the mom from inside out looking like you came out your moms butthole big nose having ahh four eyes having ahh flat chest having ahh -"You look nice and pretty. Anyone should be happy to be with you. Wait, did I break the rules?...." -23. Is that how many miles of dick you've taken? -You say 23 but the butt crack cleavage and face say 45 -"23 looking 39 , bet that pussy stank" -23 and NOT me -Your alien bases are decending. The war is over. -"Clicked your profile cause I was like “this girl definitely has a picture of her butthole in the first few posts”. Clicked it, the “NSFW” warning came up, and I was like, “there’s definitely gonna be a butthole pic”. Nope, just seeking CONSTANT validation about your looks from others, with nary a butthole pic to be found!" -"Bro, your entire account is just trying to get people to acknowledge you instead of the twins" -Why does every American white girl feel the urge to get terrible looking tattoos? -This is what 23 looks like in meth years. -I would tongue punch your ginger fart box and suck your soul out through those huge melons. If you had a soul. Almost forgot this was a roast. -I want to pour barbecue sauce all over her and work her like a rib. -"Yea your not much to look at but I love the big Ole sloppy mom tits!!. -Can you add a few more pics ...show them puppies off!!" -She looks like she fucks for brick weed. -You're aging like milk. 23!? -"I'm actually impressed. Most drag queen don't look this feminine. Good job, man!" -Can people come up with actual creative roasts instead of unfunny sex jokes? Please? -You look like you have to roofie your dildo -Butterface -comment -"The spirit of a 7 year old girl in the body of a 43 year old lesbian, and possibly a penis." -Your mom tells people you’re “just a late bloomer.” -Everything about you is annoying and I’ve never even met you -Why do we have a solo picture of your fuck toys? -"Don't worry bro, at 18, my brother was also a fat virgin with poorly dyed hair and no prospects. Now, at 32, he's a fat, natural-haired virgin and a security guard at our uncle's self-storage facility. You got this" -Looks like 18 years on this planet has already done that for you. -Band kids don't bully their friends nearly enough -You get photoshopped out of pictures at Comic Con 😳 -Your walls are as bare as your personality -“Do your worst” is your approach to sex. -"You look like the type of person to think they're ""oppressed"" for minor inconveniences in daily life." -"Unfortunately for your parents, you're never leaving the house." -"Discord called, they said they want their moderator build back." -Another gender-neutral wanabe tech nerd. That stuffed penguin was probably sticky around the mouth area before you had yourself castrated. -The autism is strong with this one -It can’t get any worse -You look like your neck would smell like old cheese. -Soon as the selfies are done he’s gonna fuck those plushies. -"# Turned 18 Today... - -and the testicles haven't dropped yet. - -a few in the mouth but that is another story" -"Pronouns are ew, no." -You look like a lesbian that’s mid transition. -Turned 18 stone you mean? -Let me guess: you didn't like playing outside -They/it/clothesdontfit -Average r/politics poster -We need to bring back bullying. -This is why I'm glad my father beat me. So I didn't turn out like this fuckin shit show. -You look fucking exhausting to be around -Are you acoustic? -"Thick black frames, ugly green hair, and flamboyant gestures. This is the triggered gay liberal starter kit" -"18 is the age of consent. - - -You however, don’t need to worry about that at all." -"Sorry, can't top your parents" -Your NAMBLA membership has been pre-approved -18 more and you might lose your virginity. -So avoid movie theaters in your area? -Got that Mini-Ladd-I-Did-Nothing-Wrong face -Piplup is the worst starter. I know that one hurt… -finally turned 18 and turned into an old pervy man -Check his hard drive. -Sir this is roast me. If you have tell your neighbor your a sex offender you have to go door to door -Genetics did their worst already champ -Pronouns are: Forever/Virgin -Is this a new kind of autism -Fam is one pronoun away from massacring his local walmart.. and we know he doing it in that duck outfit -There are multiple parents in your town who have to ask their daughters “did he bother you at school again today?” -"If a billionaire politician told you to stick your foot in a lawn mower to protest inequality, you’d start crying trying to figure out how to start the lawnmower." -Happy 18th anniversary of the last time you touched a vagina. -Only chicks you’ll ever get into bed with are in these pics. -Generational decline in testosterone: Confirmed. -I’m proud of you… something your father never said to you -I’m not religious but “My god…” is all I can think. -"Sloths have algae living in their fur, giving it a green tinge, just saying." -You don’t have to try so hard to stay a virgin. It was happening anyways -You've wore Crocs every day since you were 7 -"On a scale of 1-1,000,000 , how disappointed is your father?" -The only thing bigger than the closet he emerged from ..is his anus. -You definitely have more pronouns than friends -Stop taking blockers -"I can tell you show zero taxable income, and that looks like that’ll be your future trend." -Don’t disparage this abuse- you have a solid future career as a school bus driver! -You have green hair … we don’t need to roast you . You roast yourself lol -"You're 18, that means you can make an only fats account" -Happy involuntary emancipation cake day. -If the Batman shooter stayed home and drank Mountain Dew instead -"Honestly, man... you're in for a rough go. As you get older and become an adult, you're going to struggle. You're a child, and you're about to realize that the world is not a fair and/or kind place." -"You look like a minecraft youtuber, But the kind that you discover did some shady kid stuff." -Can guarantee you’ve never done anything difficult in your life. Living life on spring breeze mode -How is it that you both look like you should be in school and shouldn’t be allowed near one? -"Somehow you look like you just molested a child, but look like a child that was just molested." -You look like the Internet shat you out. -You look like you blame your poor mental health on everybody but yourself. And you change your pronouns weekly because that's how you feel at the moment. -"You look like facts hurt your feelings, and you’re confused about which bathroom to use. I can almost guarantee your pronouns are Dis/appointment." -Your parents are so happy that you turned 18 as they are no longer responsible for you and they don't have to listen to your stupid rants. We should congratulate your parents instead of you -Wow now u can legally marry an electric eel -"Turned 18, but your balls haven't dropped yet." -How many of those stuffed animals have crusty holes in the bottom? -How are you already a 42 yo woman? -I’d cross the street if I saw you walking toward me -You look like you'd sexually harass your future self -"Listen son. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life." -This is the birthday where your dad finally sends a letter? -Can't roast what's already been deep fried from second-hand embarrassment. -Is the 4th picture your dad? -Peter puffer for sure 😁 -You didn’t get bullied hard enough. -Some of the posters on this sub genuinely just evoke this sad feeling of pity. -100% gay -"Shouldn’t have let this one get to 18, at most 6 weeks." -It looks like life has done enough to you already. -You'll see that incel adult life isn't really much different from the incel teen life that ur used to. -OP has the female repellent suit 😂 -This guy Naruto runs to the fridge -"Nature already seemed to do its worst but - -Have you ever thought about staring at the sun until you go blind?…. So you won’t have to look at your own reflection ever again" -"What even are you? - -Not a roast, I’m just genuinely fucking baffled" -How far away do you have to stay away from schools? -You're 18 now. Time to let go of the Swamp Thing hair. -What the hell even is that? -If James Holmes shot up the movie theater and then ate all the victims then chased it with all the popcorn butter at the concession stand -"I liked the duck fit, but ya just look a little too gay in the 3rd pic" -My wife went through a midlife crisis and got a haircut like yours once while she was pregnant! -"I was wondering why you would do this, then I saw the duck suit." -You have a ketchup and bread sandwich kinda vibe -I can smell the cheese from here -Becoming a man just in time for your man tits to come in. -The look on the penguin on the right says we should call the cops -You already ate the dam roast -You definitely got a future as a mod on reddit deleting comments. -Happy birthday. statically you won't have another one. -Idk bro i feel like your classmates lives depend on us not roasting you….. -Don't Reproduce.. -We gon' need more letters in the alphabet to identify this one. -"Pronouns are ew, no." -You look like you can fuck up a wet dream -If Beaker was a real person -Reaches legal age of consent only to realize nobody wants to bang ya -Your mommy still dresses you and wipes you down like a baby -Damn modeled after the pisbury dough boy flavored after skittles -"You think your full length anime body pillow is a real girlfriend, don't you?" -looks like the worst has already been done… time to enlist in the Marines -You look like my toilet brush after I let the scrubbing bubbles sit for 10 minutes -"Based on that hair, you already did your worst" -"Damn I need a way to stand out and look good, should I take care of myself and lose some weight, naaa I’ll just dye my hair blue and let it fade into green while not even doing a good job at covering up all the bleached blonde so it just looks like the Easter bunny threw up on my head. -this guy" -It’s probably not too late to take puberty blockers and try you luck as another gender. -"Finally legal, guess it’s safe to go back to church" -You look like a professional My Hero Academia fan  -"Aw, trans-adjacent wannabe just discovered Reddit" -If Peter Griffin fucked an egirl -What protest you going to this week? These pics scream Gay white guys for Harris. -Just have to say that the duck hat makes ur head look small -"I know a Democrat when I smell one, and these photos stink like shit, father issues and low self-esteem with a lack of personal identity... with a hint of Mom's basement and Goon porn." -Looks there’s a whistling sound when you walk fast -This the kinda guy that listens to rap music & thinks he’s down with all the black brothas. -get off the internet you clown -"I feel like I'm being scolded by my chubby third grade teacher in your first pic. Also, she was insane." -I loved you in Bad Santa. -You look like refurbished item from Temu. -Raggedy Ann grew up with some trauma -Thinks he’s ironically annoying but is actually just really fucking annoying -oh good. another giant toddler. -You got weird hair. You’re weird. -Single mom energy there... -Your they/them is showing -This chick really likes ducks -Personality never resides in the colour of your hair you know. -Your mom still lays your cloths out -"Happy birthday, beetle juice without the makeup" -Ngl my grandma probably has a higher amount of testosterone then you -Reddit sucks at roasting. 95/100 roasts is just “youre ugly and everyone hates you” but that isnt a roast. A roast is what your dad’s buddies do to your dad when they see you -i weep for our future -you’re one step closer into transitioning to Peter Griffin -"Well, it can only get better from here I guess…." -He looks like a white knight -BETAAAA!! -"Nah, God, Fate, and the Universe seem to have the worst covered. I'd offer to give you some kind of consolation prize but I don't think they have a Raspy for just existing." -Dollar tree Deku -The face only a mother could love 😬😬😬 -Your genuinely annoying to look at. -I never thought Oompa Loompas would age so poorly. -You look like a jeep dashboard -You look like you shower in deep frying oil -It's not fun if there's no challenge..🫤 -Incelgbtq+++. -I bet your house has a burning red dot. -Why u let yourself walk around looking like that? -You look like a man that transitioned to a woman that transitioned back to a man. -You're doing a pretty good job on your own there buddy. -This. This is what happens when you cross-breed a neckbeard with a pick-me girl. -You look like you have PTSD from being told “no” once when you were a kid and wanted something from the store -"Your bedroom always smells like old hotdog water, but more today than ever." -You’re the manifestation of every fathers worst nightmare when they have a boy. -"The green hair tells everyone, everything they need to know. & is roasting enough in itself." -If Gender Dysphoria had a face -"If you are symbolizing what everything is wrong with your generation? -If yes- full marks." -Why the fuck do you look Like a chiahead? -You look like premie Seth Rogen -What are you? -Like Steven Universe but even less fuckable. -"Idk, maybe this generation IS actually using litter boxes" -do you spit when you talk? -You just look gay -"Somewhere in your life there's a 40 something guy with a baseball hat on and tools in his garage, wondering if it's too late to have another kid" -Cut your hair. Loose weight. Wear contacts. -In 5 years you’re going to look back and cringe at yourself -You’re doing your worst for us. -Fix your shirt private pyle! - I can’t tell the difference between any of you in the last photo -Why does he look like the IRL gay version of Rowley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid? -You look like you’re always a little sticky -If you're gonna dye your hair at least commit ffs you look like a half baked tato -I can smell you through the pictures... -You're 18. Lose the baby fat and get a grown-up haircut. -Beardless neck beard -You look like a lesbian Billie Eilish -You can hear the sassy lisp from these photos -You look like a live action Oscar the grouch if he were on the spectrum -Those titties look 40 -Go to the gym and change your future. Or it will roast you for everyone else. -You either are or were the most annoying kid in school -you look like you sniff bicycle seats -You look like you tell people you're gay because you're afraid to talk to girls -Bro looks like he tells people his pronouns -This is one of those where you don’t need to say anything -Do you aspire to become one of the spherical birds? -You didn't get all the vomit out of your hair. Wash it again. -"""White guys for Harris""" -You look like you sniff your mums farts and enjoy it -Pronouns are Tinky/Winky. Too much estrogen to even be a good incel! -“It’s giving he/she/we/they/them/non-binary/vegan/vegetarian” -Go back to kindergarten and redo EVERYTHING. -Get a haircut hippy. -You look like you talk about climate change a lot. Nerd. -Looks like you’ve transitioned/detransitioned 3 separate times. -A tremendous makeover will do -Tell me you're voting for Kamala without telling me you're voting for Kamala -Autism has you -"When I see something that looks like your hair in my fridge, I throw it out." -Your glasses aren’t crooked it’s you. -You look good for being a mom of three -Are you on quack? -You look vaccinated -🧼 -18 really. Maybe about 10 years ago. -You look like MiniLadds incest baby. -It’ll take another 18 for you to get laid. -i would not like to be in a room alone with you -Go hit the gym tubby -Hope for your bday someone bought you a closet to crawl back into -You look like a divorced cat lady that works in HR and steals other people’s lunches while whisper yelling about why her kids don’t talk to her anymore. -"if someone asked me, is that a man, woman or fart. i would choose the fart" -"Looking at your photos, I don't think I can do you worse than your camera" -You look like the Penguin if Batman was trans -It's completely unnecessary. These pictures are worth a thousand roasts. -Autism be damned. -You look 37 and the head to toe duck outfit screams autism but honestly it's pretty cool. Judging by your eyes in picture #1 you are most definitely in the midst of a manic episode. -I know a plushie f*cker when I see one. -that’s wat i call a man hubba hubba 🥰🥰 -You look like a middle age lesbian -Congratulations- you are now officially a Teletubby!! -"You look like Beaker from the Muppets, if he stopped shooting meth and started shooting up sad instead" -Daddy's queen -you have 4 pairs of hardened socks under your bed -"No matter how many rubber ducks and penguins you have, you're still depressed deep down." -If someone told me you were one of the guys that got caught participating in the sex trafficking bust at this year's Comic-Con I wouldn't doubt it for even a second. -get a job. -"Damn, you must miss your father after he shot up that cinema in 2012" -When’s the transition? Or did it already happen? Its hard to tell. -I already know who you're voting for. -"Don't need to do my worst, your parents already did theirs." -This is what a daily diet of pronouns looks like. -Mom where are my gender re-assignment and estrogen pills!!? -Pronouns: trans/fat -comment -I’ve never been more sure that someone sensually moans while taking a shit -Your 3rd pic makes you look like a non-binary dora the explorer -Pedro’s policy for 2025 presidency- “handjobs for all” -"Of course you're lil sensitive, I have identity crisis just by scrolling those images." -You don't have to put that in the title cause we already know. -Im gay but even i want to call you a slur -You are transitioning from what to what? -You look like you’re wearing your victim’s hair -Were you castrated at any point by chance? -That third picture where you're sitting with your hand placed so femininly on your leg lowered my testosterone from just seeing it. You're gayer than a football bat. -"You're the kind of guy who takes a massive shit, then looks in the bowl and thinks to himself, ""That's how much dick I can take.""" -"You look like a gay, extroverted emo that i would find on the side of the road trying to sell me meth" -What the hell is even that? -Late Michael Jackson with a dark spray tan. -Him kardrashian -I need to know what the fuck I'm even looking at before I can make a roast. -"Ur mum wanted a girl, -Ur Dad wanted a boy, -God didn't want to disappoint either one." -"don't let the roasters get you down, you're a very handsome woman" -Your third picture looks like a 19 year old pregnant Salma Hayek. -Looks like you left the Rez and found the gays/theys in the city. -Vote for trans Pedro -He's that one cannibal from the rainforest who always asks for the genitals for dinner -I bet your parents change the subject when ask them about you. -Can't tell which direction the transition is going -If Joe Jonas was trans. -Welp.. I caught the *gay* -Never been more surprised to see a urinal -"You have very strong facehair, for a girl." -You look like of Freddie Mercury and Michael Jackson had a love child. -You look like you misunderstood what being nonbinary is and became a quantum superposition of masculinity and femininity. -Chromosomes gave up -Just a small town girl living in a lonely world. -If “Unfuckable” was a person. -You weren't bullied enough -"You’re a little sensitive, so only the tip?" -Bolivian Charles Manson -If the night stalker had a trans kid -"Whatever you say Sadako, how's the well treating you?" -Ladies and Gentleman; Hermaphrodite Lou Diamond Phillips in “La Famba” -As sensitive as your clit? -It’s like they got Ariana Grande to play Jesus in a movie and half assed the gender change effects -You look like the reason that your family doesn’t spend holidays together anymore -These images should be on a condoms advertisement. -You look like you were groomed by Michael Jackson as a child. -Johnny Deport -Emotional sensitivity is a side effect of hormonal replacement therapy. It won't be so bad once your tits finish growing in. -"You look like Mike from Stranger Things, but you are the stranger thing." -What the fuck .... this is why bullying worked ... -"You look like the phrase ""ladies and gentleman""" -Looks like you’re about to salt a mid tier steak. -"If you rearrange the photo order, you can see the pre operation and pills step by step transition to ROBERTO." -You look like Michael Jacks-his-son -"Girl, you need to wax that mustache." -I want to slap your dad for not slapping you. -"~~Mister~~ - -~~Missus~~ - -Itster" -Whoa I was just wondering what Michael Jackson’s kids were up to! -If I were gay you would be the reason to turn straight again. -I'm honestly shocked that you posted a picture from a public restroom that had urinals in it. -Looks like he wipes back to front -Please delete pic 6 from the universe. 🤢 -You look like you are currently in the middle of transitioning both ways at the same time -I can’t work out if you’re a goy or a birl. -It got much worse as I scrolled. Fuck bud -Slide 5. I think ur in the wrong bathroom -What the fuck is this creature? -"I don’t know what gender you’re attempting to be, but you’ve failed horribly. I haven’t seen anything this grotesquely androgynous since Marilyn Manson first hit the scene." -You look like Enrique Iglasias if he was a transgender woman that was also a gay dude and a lesbian -Do you still get your period since you started the transition? -You’re the reason that I don’t like talking about my last trip to Thailand. -Heeee Sheeee 🧤 -You would look better in the pics with a paper bag over your head -Pretty ballsy of you too display that you cum from listening to your favorite songs -Estosterone -“Daddy chill”… “what is even that!?” Thats what you remind me of but Latino version -"I'm a lil sensitive, yeah we can see that...." -Elliot Roger the ultimate gentleman -The night gawker -"I don't care which bathroom that is, you're in the wrong one." -Bro that 3rd pic looks like an audition photo for a gay porno -In the fourth pic does your sign say help are you calling for help... I knew it nobody's takes this bad of pics phew -All the roasts I wanted to say are taken. So now I just sit here and wonder how many estrogen injections he takes per day. -You look more like a woman than miss universe -"It's took me half an hour to figure out your sexuality, Moustache Woman" -It's got that big they/them energy. -What the fuck are you? -It rubs the guacamole on its skin or else it gets the Hose again -"You've got some sort of budget Michael Jackson thing going on. - -Miguel Jacksyung?" -What are you -Dezra Miller -Boi Wtf. -The only straight thing in you is the hair thats going through your face. -You make gay people shutter. Or more flabbergasted. -You're really sensitive sister -You look like you get bullied by the kids in your basement -what the h*** is even that? -This mf barks -That's the most disturbing girl I've ever seen online -Could look masculine AF but he chose this instead. -You look like you'd be sassy when playing board games -"If you go to San Francisco, makes sure you take one of those clowns handkerchiefs with you." -Back door beauty? -Are you a Girl or a Boy??? -I wonder if he is friends with the very masculine guy we saw the other day. -Why are you moaning in a kids play area…..? -🤢🤮🤯 -"Even swiper does not swipe right, Dora the gender explorer." -Grim Kardashian -You go girl! -You’re obviously a bottom. -Loves the smell of his own shit and rubs it all over his body! -Not sure what to call you. -Too sensitive I'd say -I can’t believe nobody has mentioned Anthony Kiedis yet. -Third pic makes you look like a young girl early in the pregnancy -What uh..what are you? -"Damn girl, flat chested AND pcos. I'm sorry!" -You spelled lil bitch really wrong. -Thats ignorant you guys are being ignorant.... Blanket come play with me! -Salma Gayek -Whoever did your transition surgery needs to have their medical licence revoked -Why did you stop mid transition? -The secret 4th musketeer the other three don't talk about -I don't get it.. did you take a picture in the men's room before or after you sat down to pee? -So this is the it I've heard so much about -Is this a guy or a girl -"There's androgynous then there's, And-What-The-Fuck-Is-This." -Naan-binary -What… are you? -"If the phrase “every man, woman, and child” were a person." -"I honestly, have no fucking idea what I'm looking at." -Latin Pat. -Is she a guy? -Wtf -I'd be nice to you at work in hopes that you'd spare my life when it happens. -You posted your cock on reddit. There is nothing else to say -Did the doctor say “Let’s Play Nice” during Transition Surgery? -It’s like a MySpace page came to life -Bro moans when he wipes his ass -Gay Michael jackson -You look like your pronouns are disappointed/father. -Sensitive ? From the hormone therapy? -"Ever had a guy and his wife both try to hit on you? Then the guy says ""sorry I thought you were a chick"" and the chick says ""sorry, I thought you were a guy."" Everyone leaves confused." -You look like what would come up if I asked AI to generate a picture of a WNBA player. -"I'm having a little trouble with this one. Man? Woman? Child? Twink? You regularly have a facial attempting a beard, the frame of a child, and pose like a delicate flower that wants to be ""drawn like one of your French girls"" serious question: what are you going for here?" -Pokimané but trans -Ewwwww -Seriously what the fuck? -You look like you always give otphj as a reward of being a friend -"When you come out as trans and pick a new name, pick something cool. Just using the feminine form of your current name or an alliteration of it is lazy." -You want me to play nice when you look like that woman filter on Snapchat -I didn’t know Kirstin Maldonado was transitioning. -why does pic 3 look so mucu like a girl -"Yeah, you look sensitive." -"Oh look, the guaranteed honky-tonk style blowjob I ordered from room service showed up." -Just inserted a butt plug kinda moan. -I'll just call you them -What's the indoamerican equivalent for Gaylord? -Holy shit! Ezra Miller really did fuck up his career!. Resorting to being the star attraction of Phillipino lady-boy tourism?! Time's is hard for all of us! -How many genders do use in a week -"The type to say ""I'm sorry"" when accidentally hurting his pinky toe against a table leg..." -"Oh, hi Mark" -If “your words hurt me” was a person. -I have a feeling you have said the exact same thing before a room full of dudes handcuffed you to a bed. -Make up your mind -Please burn that 3rd picture -This is a first. Now it's hard on the bottom and floppy on top. -Ha! Gay. Or confused. One of those works. -"this must be the final boss of ""Let's Make Dad Disappointed""" -"Sensitive on the rims, I presume." -"""he is a little sensitive"" is probably how your parents describe you to your homophobic grandparents" -Why the mustache girl? -Well on the positive side if you transition you won't need to take any estrogen -how can she slap -I'm really confused -Did we need six pictures? -“Let’s play nice I’m sensitive” so what’re you doing here? -When Trans go wrong -You'll look really good in your crossdressing era. -Looks like it ran out of money halfway through a sex change. -"Damn girl, let me introduce you to Gillette." -When bisexual was taken to serious -You look like you enjoy golden showers -You resemble Michael Jackson after all the plastic surgery before he passed. -Autism mixed with a hint of bad relationship with father and possibly a hint of child trauma. -"You're not sensitive, you're a Trans" -You could be a woman 😁 -"Just have to say I love this s/reddit. It never fails to make me laugh, your comments are hilarious, absolutely brutal but also very clever and witty." -Looks like a bearded lesbian. -"look Esmerelda, I realize you are uber comfortable with yourself, but could you resist plucking those brows for 2 weeks??, you look like a suprised hemaphrodite" -“A lil sensitive”? Buddy looks like the type to tell everyone he was once assaulted by the wind because the breeze was too strong -I’ve never seen someone get shorter in each consecutive picture until now. -Mowgli but instead of being raised by wolves and a bear it was the YMCA -Even the fucking rainbow is confused about which fucking color you belong to 💀 -Shouldn’t you be wearing a dress or something? -Without facial hair you look like a woman named Linda who works in the telemarketing department -He couldn't choose between X and Y so he took both -He belongs to the premium version of gay.... -The only time your voice reaches higher than 8db is when you're taking a shit -"""Lets play nice im sensitive"" - ->posts this on a roast me subreddit. - -I hope thats sarcasm" -Roasting is *precisely* about not playing nice though. You freak out if a bug lands on you. -"now I know why they call it homo ""phobia""" -Gayer as you scroll -"Thank you for your restraint in the title, because you look like you want to tell me _exactly where_ you're sensitive." -Hot damn that mustache looks like you just used sharpie on your upper lip. -Trans of the Mohicans -"My fucking god. There are so many places to start, my head is spinning, I just can’t." -You look like you're in a perpetual identity crisis. -"If I walked in a public bathroom and seen you, I'd apologize and double back to check the door." -"Those clothes aren’t working, they/them" -Honestly though you should try Drag Racing. -comment -I’ve seen future you take a sidewalk shit on 6th street in Austin. -Manic pixie dream girl minus the pixie and the dream -"Folks, we are looking at the mid evolution of a small town single alcoholic cat lady who is desperately clinging onto their youth. " -You look like a dry-aged Hayley Williams. -Slept with all high school teachers. But was home schooled. -"The ""daddy"" shirt is the closest you got to having a father, huh" -You’re so annoying and I’ve never met you. -How do you have both the thighs of a 63 year old and the fashion sense of a special ed 5th grader? -"Mom can we get paramore? - -No we have paramore at home" -You look like you've made yourself unattractive as humanly possible so that you don't have to accept personal responsibility for the failures of your relationships. -How do you have so much fat above your knees? I'm kinda impressed -You'd be cute if you dropped 5-10 mental illnesses... -10 fucking pictures? Get over yourself. -The only thing worse than your haircut is the rest of you. -Hippi Longstocking -"The plethora of things I could say but...... sad knees is the most standout, I don't know why but they just look fed up with supporting your bullshit." -Buttinski barista who offers unsolicited advice when you just want to enjoy your cappuccino. -"Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?" -This is why we don't major in women studies. -You look like this is the leanest you’ll ever be in your life -You’re so quirky and original. Yikes 😬 -Shorty gotta tattoo for every one night stand she ever had out the bar -She's in witness protection because she witnessed the murder of her fashion sense. -Which part of Portland are you homeless in? -"I would but I'm too busy filling out my ""not like the other girls"" bingo card" -Some how I know your room smells like cat piss and tree oil just from your pictures -"This girl 100% offered her tattoo artist oral for some free work, and he was like, ""Naw, cash will do.""" -I need a sit down with your father to ask if he would’ve preferred a gay son just to end this stupid debate.  -At least you have all your teeth -You’re either a graphic designer or a server at a dive bar dreaming of becoming one -You'll never have to worry about anyone spiking your drink... -Cookie cutter version of “edgy white girl” -Ok but who's the baby daddy for those pregnant knees? -If a fart had glasses. -One bag of chips balanced on your head away from being So Crazy! -You look like Ed Sheeran had a baby with Joe dirt. -If bad decisions took human form -If father issues was a person. -You look like a born again alcoholic -"Lemme guess - it's not a phase, you ""like older guys"", and somewhere on your socials is a 'if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' post or two." -For the last time r/roastme is no dating app you sad communal fleshlight -I bet you have a collection of exotic dildos -"WHY for the love of god do you have a fucking mullet? It wasn’t cute on Joe and it’s not cute on you. -Shave your head and start over" -I avoid any girl that looks like. They always stink and smell like cigarettes -"Not sure what freak accident happened to your knees, but you shouldn’t have sewn them back on yourself." -Your haircut looks dumb AF -"Whoever sold you in that haircut should give you gender identity back, then be put in a sack and beaten until nickels fall out." -aren’t you a little too old for this……? -"You are out of asylum now, can remove the coconut skin head" -All those tattoos compliment perfectly your blank canvas personality -Your hair looks like shit. Not even roasting you. Just change that shit. -You look loose -You're herpes sores spell out coexist in Braille. -"I bet you exclusively date black men and women, eventually inviting them to meet your parents, only to turn around and take them hostage, posesing their bodies with the souls of dying white people" -"Wow, I'm no expert, but I think I found the problem with all these pictures- your face is in them" -"Did Shaggy, Daphne, Fred and Scooby kick you out of the mystery machine?" -I bet she lives in the friend zone. -You look so insufferable that people would sooner guide their dad into their mom with their own mouth than listen to you talk for 5 seconds. -Tattoos and a nose ring: 2024’s basic white girl. -You look like a shoe - Hate when people have tattoos instead of a personality. -Your knees look weird -"Dresses likes shes 110, weighs in at 145." -"You can pretend you're cool and get all the tattoos you want, but the fact is you still live in Utah and work for an embroidery shop." -"You post here just to feel something that you haven’t felt since you lost all that weight. You still think you deserve to be treated like trash even though you got rid of your biggest insecurity, and now you’re coping through some kind of public do-your-worst stunt from virgins on the internet. - -Nothing on the physical front, I’d fall in love with you immediately" -Spends thousands on tattoos but $5 on a haircut. -"Its like you are trying really hard to be cool..but everything you decided to latch on to...shrek, the tats etc wasnt cool" -"If every girl who said ""I'm not like other girls"" was rolled into one." -I hate you -You literally have no unique qualities. You are every Instagram fake goth girl. -If a pointless arts degree was a person. -Everyone you know is exhausted. -You look like you spit in your own mouth. -I was gonna roast but then I saw the shrek fit so I get a pass you Halloween looking mf 😭 -You think you’re more interesting than you actually are. -This young boy does not have a job I know that much -"Getting more tattoos doesn't make you more interesting, it just raises more flags for people familiar with personality disorders" -You look like you will realise you are a lesbian after getting married and having 2 kids -You are perfect example how kids turn out like when they are not loved by their parents. -You’re not unique -Never seen muffin tops over someone's knees before. -If Utah was a person -I can hear your cheese grating voice from my phone. -You look like a dirty street cone that become a human -If “disappointing my parents” was a picture -"Nothing to roast, so let’s grab a glass and toast this beautiful woman!" -One more tattoo will fix her -"You look like the number 1 biggest cause of erectile dysfunction. You look like ed sheerans butt ugly sister. A junkie wouldnt even fuck you for a lifetime supply of free heroin. Do you mind if i save a copy of your picture, as a cure for anytime i get an awkward boner." -"A 42 year old cosplaying a teenager, how original" -" How about I honey roast you? You are so pretty, I love your glasses, I can tell you are an artist, you give off dependable energy, and a really good friend!" -"Trying way, way, WAY too hard and still manages to make every redhead, even Kathy Griffin the sewer gargoyle, look hotter than her. - -My redhead kink is dead." -Shorty got a tattoo for every cat she owns -"Mid journey results if you ask for ""women to stay away from""." -You look like your like to be choked but cry when you get yelled at -4B member by default. -And that's why the democrats lost -You are EXACTLY like other girls -Your face says “fuck it” and your hair says “I did”. -Your skin looks like the men's room wall at a bad gas station -"No need for the Daddy-shirt, we can tell by your looks that you are the girl with daddy-issues." -A 40 yr old should not dress like a 14 yr old anime cartoon -World ugliest knees award goes to you ☝️ -"The only thing you need held back is your mullet whilst you spew up bottom shelf fortified wine lamenting failed careers in Art, Dance and Onlyfans. - -Rest assured, you won’t get vomit on your fringe" -"You obviously cut your own hair, but do you need to do it drunk?" -The granola and body odor is strong with this one. -Which way are you transitioning? -Are you a bull -If you didn't have a nose ring I would send you a creepy PM. Your loss. -Sorry I don’t roast people without a soul -Titties so small you get tattooed cleavage. -Take a guess: what does she have more of? Tattoos or anti depressants? -You looked like an Alzheimer’s drawing of the lead singer of paramore -Just pay for the damn haircut. All of your friends are being polite about your hair styling ‘talent’. -Yo Joe dirt called he wants his mullet back -You look like if Velma was just f**king Scooby Doo in the back of the Mystery Mobile the whole time. -You look like flash art at a tattoo shop… or Marshalls. -Chappell Gnome -Like you’re attractive but you look like Fiona from shrek but at night -"Got the hairdo of a mannequin, And the skin color of a dead person. Nice cosplay." -Roasting myself with this one. You look exactly like the type of strumpet I would have let ruin my life 10 years ago. -That is a guy with gross looking knees -Your hands chest tattoo looks like they're spreading their cheeks open. I'm guessing that's a heart shaped butt plug tattooed on your chest? -How did you get time off from being JD Vance’s sleep paralysis demon? -Several bass players’ least favorite ex -"You look like you cry in sex, but get angry when people stop" -When you order Paramore's Hayley Williams on Temu ... -You look like someone made a lot of doodles on a pad while talking on the phone but forgot to throw it out and now it came to life to roam the world as insignificance personified -Wannabe Haley Williams -This one’s a day walker. -"So, just want to ask the burning question for everyone...what IS at the end of a rainbow?" -You look like a Hippie Wednesday Adams. -"I can’t tell what you have more of, tattoos or mental health problems." -"You look like you watched scott pilgrim as a kid and decided ramona flowers was gonna be your personality from now on. - -You look like you flirt with all your male friends, yet you only let 40+ year olds, chicks and black dudes hit. - -You look like you gave someone a blowie in the parking lot and/or toilet of a wendys more than once. - -I could go on, but I won't. Instead, let me conclude with this: your dad would be ashamed of you, were he still in the picture." -Paranope -"We get it, you really think you’d find your people if you just moved to Portland" -Shrek runs away from your eyebrowns -"In the first picture, you kinda look like Vector, the villain from Despicable Me" -You look like the Sims character they all hate but you do nice things for them. #Roasted -Frodo ? -Never saw a bowl she didn't think would make a good haircut -You could probably fix me -Employee of the month 25 years running at Hot Topic. -You're totally not cute and cool as hell. Pfft. -"Cause tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again don’t make me change my mind 😩" -Dig the Shrek shirt. -You look like Joe Dirts daughter -You look like you single handedly could gentrify an entire neighborhood -Florence lacks a washing machine -Going through life while identifying as an abused school desk has never been so fun before. -Never grew out of cutting your own hair with safety scissors -You look like if I told you I was bi you’d say “Omg me too!” because one time in middle school where you kissed a girl on a dare. -Not a roast but do you not believe in ironed clothes ? -"If you want to be roasted, just spend some time in the sun." -I thought love was only true in FAAAIRY TALES… -I’ve never seen bangs make someone look like they have a big forehead. They’re supposed to do the opposite -Trashy. No sense of fashion. -Ewww. -I never thought I would be able to smell cat piss thru a photo. -Your knees look like two blob fish having a conversation. -That’s a bowl cut mullet! wtf -Your knees. They are gross. That is all -How did you know my favourite movie was Scott Pilrgrim vs the World? -You dress like you got bullied and enjoyed it. -I think you're gorgeous 🥰 -Adorable hand full. A little wild. Love.the look and tats -You a baddie -Winnie the Poo's autistic Mother -"You look like you have Christmas lights around your bed, all year round" -"You asked so I responded - - -Why you are bad person - - -1. Your fashion taste is so out of season and out of year - - - -2. Your daddy's girl and you're happy about that you're literally dependent on other people who are your father and you're probably a spoiled brat if your daddy's girl I mean you're a complete adult and your daddy's girl come on. - - - -3. Are you trying to be at the girl from Wendy's I mean come on the hair says it - - - - -4.if the common saying about redheads was true your are not to be apart of it. You are just a Ape to society. - - - -5.... You got the point I could go on it a lot longer, but I'm getting the time of typing." -sail hatan -Rockstar keep doing you! -The sun will do it for me. -"I want to roast but when the op is like, cooler than me its real hard 😩" -"I’d marry you in a split second, that’s the roast." -I'm going to need a minute to decipher all of the tattoos. -You wanted to be a scene kid but your parents didn’t let you so you went into debt for an art degree and got a job as a barista. -I think you’re cute. -Don’t bully me I’ll cum -You're not supposed to post gnomes on here -Can’t you’re my type 😭 -"I’m not a fan of “roasting” a complete stranger. - -It feels mean and silly. - -You look pretty cool, I’ll leave it at that." -you look like squirrel -"With your complexion, I could roast you with a flashlight." -"Actually, you're my type" -You are pretty and look like a fun person! Happy Holidays! -Sorry...girls with tattoos are hot! -You’ve been scene for far too long -But uh…she looks really pretty though? Don’t think I could say anything bad about her -You look better than most. Nice eyes and an artistic appearance. You are fine and there is no need to change. -"I think you are pretty cute(2 cool points for the SOAD shirt) hit m u," -"I am going to go against the crowd - I really do like the last photo. It feels like the only one where you do not pretend to be someone else (someone of different age or popularity) - and I like it, even though you look tired there. - -In overall the photos combined, it feeld like you hide your true yourself behind a mascarra of ""cool girl"" - but my ""degree-of-judging-people-I-never-met-by-few-photos"" of Reddit university is of poor quality - so take it as it is... - -I wish you a nice Christmass, wherever you live! - -EDIT: I just realised you got so many comments you are never going to read this, but... I really like the last picture, and the roast thread is roasting you harshly" -Not a roast but that zebra blazer is next level! -"You furiously masterbate and make it awkward for your cat, who just wanted to take a nice nap." -Hard to roast someone as sexy as you 🔥 -"Here it goes: you’re cute! - -Sorry, I can’t do this…" -I cant roast you only beacuse of the shrek shirt -You look like one of those girls that conservative parents are fearful that their daughter will make friends with. -I like your hair and tattoos. I am heavily tattooed Myself. -"Sadly, there is only the neck and face left to cover in tattoos. Fortunately, there is only the neck and face left to cover in tattoos." -I refuse to pick on a ginger with a llyod christmas mullet haircut -Grandma!! -"Look at you all blue skies and sunny mornings, enjoying your life. I think that’s cute. - -I’m sure your cats will continue to enjoy your vibe until they eat your eyes out one day." -"Somehow, you look more like Fiona. In ogre form." -Your knees have that “weak chin” look -Has to pay her OF subscribers to stick around -Tell me you are a depressed wokie without telling me you are a depressed wokie. -You've got a haircut like you lost a bet. -"Not enough attention from parents, must be a Weasley" -Just a large black coffee please -6 days out of rehab and detox. Sponsored by hot topic and your local thrift store. Smells of patchouli oil and bad tattoos -Millennial asf bro what the fuck:(((( -"I don't know which number is more: the number of medications you're on, or how many ex-girlfriends have restraining orders against you." -"Have you considered chemotherapy? -Y'know... To cure being a ginger." -"Oh look, an ashtray gained sentience and created a Reddit account." -"You like if wendy did drugs instead of selling value meals - -Do you take that suffering mental health ring out your nose before doing lines? - -Whatever it is...it's your daddy's fault right? - -This pucture smells of enlightened pussy sweat." -100% what I've taught my boys to stay away from -You buy out plan b at your local cvs everytime it’s in stock -It’s like looking at the worst conversation you’ll ever have -Garth from Waynes World turned trans? -You're what a yeast infection would look like if it had a human avatar. I bet she smells like ear cheese and sweaty feet. -There's nothing I can say that your homecut fringe doesn't already scream about you! -"More red flags than a Chinese embassy. Steer well clear, fellas. - -This one screams, ""I'm offended by absolutely everything""" -"Your half smile makes you look like youre battling a turtle head, and youre not winning" -Got slut written all over you -When mediocre becomes good enough. -Your therapist must love you. $$$$$$$. -I like how the first image correctly rates you -Ah yes the former fat chick who lost weight and gets a tattoo every time she plays hide the penis with a black man. -"No amount of ink or shit in your face will convince anyone, including yourself, that you aren't just another dull af, middle class, suburbanite white person." -You look like Lena Dunham had sex with Where’s Waldo you freak. -"It's my duty to inform you that your ""before"" photos are less cringe" -"You look like Portland, I’m sure you smell worse." -"I can smell the toasted marshmallow vape from here. Also you've got a yeast infection, the dough has gone sour" -You look you'd be turned on my the comments on this post. -"You don't need roasting, you roasted yourself already." -The scene phase ended 10 years ago -You’re so unattractive that you ruin your own tattoos -Ruined the music scene in your hometown because you started false accusations about all the bands cause you wanted to be cool -"If ""annoying voice"" were a person" -"How do you have two of the worst hairstyles off all time at once? Bowl cut and a mullet - -Edit: also youre built like a pez dispenser" -I bet u always have a reason why u didn't shower or use deodorant. -You are ugly and I hate you -Too distracted by glorious Shrek shirt -You look like you would come from the Weasely family -You remind me of the drawer where I put my cum filled Kleenex every night -You are looking like a cringe toy nobody would like to play with -O... -Meh. -Nail polish clashes with the sticker. -Fake ginger except for the bo -"You look like the only entry on your resumé is for ""mattress actress""." -You look like you're probably the woman currently ranting about Chivalry in /askmen. -You look like a transitioning cum sock that smells of desperation and cat piss. -It’s cool how your eyebrows are painted on… wait -Those eyebrows look so manicured. But at the hands of a psychopath. -Goes to public areas to scream about stuff that doesn’t affect you but it’s mostly because you get zero attention. -If a 40 year-old soviet minefield on the outskirts of an Afghani village had a personality. -You get the sniffles on a stuffy day -"I used to love it when you'd come over and bug the shit out of Jamie and Vicki, until one of them would insult you. The Mr. Lawson would send you home." -I different picture for each of your personalities. -You look like a mentally unstable wreck that needs help. -"She should be an actress for Prozac, Haldol, & Lithium commercials. It's definitely will be apart her life her tattoos and hpv." -Did you post on here because you got tired of being offended for other people and wanted to try it out for yourself? -You look like things are never your fault. -Eŵww burn it with fire -You are the Howard Wolowitz of women. -L -"The standard tramp stamp chest tattoo, that screams "" i have no fucking individuality""" -You look like your dick stank -Taking a shower should be your new year resolution. -All i see is 2 Knee babies with water on the brain -Poor -Her 6 children have 9 different fathers. -comment -"Enjoy your youth, as you’ve got about 20 minutes of it left before you go full babushka. Russian women age like a tub of cottage cheese left behind a radiator." -"If it were legal in Russia, I feel like you'd identify as an alter boy." -"You’re so Russian, red flags are everywhere." -"In Soviet Russia, gender bends you" -Didn’t know having a bad hair day was actually a style -you can get one like this in the mail -"Russian authorities started Putin your picture on army recruiting posters…. “If you don’t go die for mother Russia, you can date this woman.” - -Recruits went up 1,000%." -Ukrainians are better at roasting Russians -at least looking like that helps you to avoid being trafficked. -When you order a mail order bride off Temu. -"Your city was just called ""Mos"" until you arrived" -"Have the 500k dead and wounded improved your dating chances?  - - -Or do potential suitors still run to the nearest recruitment office?" -The fake glasses are your most interesting feature -The harry potter glasses suit you because you look like a 12 year old boy who's lived in a cupboard under the stairs their whole life -Ain't nobody trying to Putin their potato in your borscht -"So when your country implodes, will you become a mail order husband?" -You have the haircut of every fuckboy here in America -No wonder so many Russians have chosen to remain “permanently” in Ukraine if this is what they have to go back to. 🤢 -You have done to fashion what Voldemort did to Cedric Diggory. -"If the boys are reminded what they’re fighting for, no wonder Ukraines kicking ass." -No wonder why Ukraine is fighting so hard to keep you out. -From Russia with Ugh. -You probably have the personality of the cold war. -"Good idea! - -Looking like and dressing like Harry Potter might actually help get you an American husband quicker 🤔." -"Feeling cute, might invade Alaska IDK" -"how many dissidents have you ""witnessed"" falling off balconies?" -Isn't being from Russia punishment enough? -"Russia Doesn't let they/them use pronouns, but I/me wants you/it to know we/us see you/it for who you/it are young man/boy/pig" - It looks like you asked AI to combine pictures of Harry Potter and Hermione. -I thought you were a boy -I can’t tell if you’re male or female…or both. -Wouldn’t your time on Reddit be more productively spent claiming you’re a housewife from Illinois who “voted for the Democrats my whole life but just recently realized Trump is the best candidate”? -"We don't need to roast you... - - -...the Ukrainians will do that perfectly fine on their own." -You’d be much more attractive as a Ukrainian -Roast you? Nah leave that to Ukraine. -That forehead could handle a couple MiGs -15 year olds have to wear grandma’s glasses to avoid conscription?! -"I heard the Chicks in Moscow are hot, let's ask this dude. Excuse me sir? Stop angling your chin to cover that massive adams apple." -Save some forehead for the rest of us -_- -russian (cross)dressing -You put the cow in Moscow -Where is your stolen Ukrainian child? -"No need to roast you, Ukrain will soon" -Novichok with a cock -"Hair like moss, shirt like cow." -Your jokes in Ghostbusters were all shitty. -You look like your pronouns are it/that -Your femboi boyfriend is rotting in a field in Ukraine. -"Putin been puttin sputin at dat mouth, now go make baby." -Your country would execute you if they knew you had a penis -What was your name before the sex change operation? -Did you leave because they don't allow Trans people? -"Like a chicken Kiev, you look promising, but when opened up you’re just dry and disappointing with an off putting garlic odour." -"Russia isn't actually invading Ukraine, they are just trying to escape you." -Just say something positive about Ukraine and you can roast yourself!! -You look heavily lesbian -You look like you changed sex to avoid getting drafted -"Whichever way you’re transitioning, it’s going great." -u look like if 80s nerd girl from a movie was a person. -Get ready to be drafted into Ukraine (I assume you are a gay guy) -Username checks out in correlation with country. -You look like Pinocchio from Lies of P. -I don’t have to roast you. The Ukrainians are doing that well enough on their own. -How can we? You already did such a great job roasting yourself with your title. -Are you turning your chin down to hide your Adam’s apple? -Im from Iran and your situation with your country is as bad as mine -Quit hiding your Adam’s Apple. We all know. -Does your dad miss having any sons? -Sing Berzerker. Boys think sexy. -"If you took off your glasses, how many smaller pairs of glasses would be behind them...?" -Ain't nobody Putin their dick in that! -Did you dress as a woman to avoid the draft? -Privet Babushka -"Better watch out, Ukraine might mistake your forehead for aircraft carrier and sink it" -"Young man, shouldn’t you be at the front??!" -Roast you with a nuke -"OP, if you haven't figured out why everyone says you look like a boy, it's because your Adam's apple area is obstructed in every shot. We're on to you, Tyler." -"If you go home with someone and they have the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall, that's a big red flag." -Some guy is going to be really pissed when you show up in the mail -"Nice try Ivan, you can't dodge the draft by putting on some lipstick. We can tell you're a conscript age male." -Isn’t the stereotype for Russian women to be attractive blondes with big tits? Yet you possess none of these features. -This is what Russian women look like? No wonder Russian men tried to go fuck Ukraine instead. -"If you're a girl, 7, and if your a guy, 6.5 😭" -Just trying to promote her OnlyComrades -Don't worry Ukraine will roast you soon -"I don't have to, in few years you will be roasting from HIMARS" -You look like Harry Potter if he drank vodka all the time -"Гёрл, ты супер!" -Looks like the headteacher from school of rock. -"Why have us roast you, when your government literally does it already?" -She looks like the younger sister in every early 2000s and 90s film -Remember the Bolshevik revolution -You left Russia just to be able to post these pictures? Someone call the gulag! -We can now put the myth that *Russian women are gorgeous* to bed forever. -How did you feel when you found out you also were stolen from your home country of France? -Looks like you're ready to do some ghost busting. -"Not sure what the deal is with Russians and black and white horizontal lines, but if you want to get roasted, go to Ukraine." -Lesbian Harry Potter? -A bit nerdy but I'd still be Putin it into you. -"All your eligible men are either dead, severely maimed or disabled. " -This girl is SUPER CUTE…pardon me fellas get out of my way please -Look like a trans harry potter. -Nice try Lady Boy. Everyone knows you transitioned only becouse of conscription. -Welcome to the clearance section of mail order brides -I’d roast her but I’m sure her brother was roasted by the Ukrainians plenty. -"I don't need to roast you. -If your government keeps f*cking around, NATO nukes will do that for me" -You were a guy two months ago but not wanting to die in Ukraine makes people do crazy shit. -Sup dude -Robin + 11 from stranger things = 😳🤩 -I don't see any difference between the size of Russia and ur forehead -What do you charge as a mail order bride -"You look like the ""girls"" you find at russian bars in bangkok" -Did the sanctions against Russia impact the mail order bride industry? -"It'd be a shame to waste energy roasting you now, when the civilized world is already queuing up to do the job for me..." -You should be Russian to get prettier because you look like a lady boy -Get out of Georgia. -I bet you’re too busy teaching your kids to play piano “with finger chop knife” -"Nyet! Not to roasting, just to you in general." -Exposed bra straps are back in fashion? I'm sure the rest of the girls in the trailer park are equally excited! -Dialing in the HIMARS. -"I guess it’s true Russia doesn’t have functioning toilets, look at this pile of shit on the street." -I honestly didn't know you were allowed to look like this as a woman in Russia :( -"Try to get a good blast of radiation when we inevitably nuke your city, it’ll improve your appearance" -Why should we bother with the effort? Whatever VPN you used to access Reddit has been shut down by the government before you could see any comments. -I thought trans were banned in Russia -"Aren’t you afraid of „heroes” released from prison come back to your hometown? -The ones that won’t get to the meatgrinder? -Because you are for sure less though than Ukrainian girls" -Why do you guys keep supporting Putin? -You look like the type to immigrate then immediately call every thing shit for not being like where you came from -We have our own communists. -Niet suka -Ukraine -"Ты постареешь, как любая другая русская женщина." -Your face is shaped like a spade shovel. -You Russian bride wanna be. -"I guess you’re looking for a date, I understand there’s a shortage of men where you are." -Nope. Not getting shot. -You look like you seduce men for their kidneys -you look like chicken little no one is going to want to putin it you -Dude you were great in Goldeneye! -Typical Russian spies are much better looking! -Couldn’t make it as a mail order bride? Pitty… -You probably say eww to the word “penis” -Do you make sexy time I’m hot tub with face tattooed dudes in track suits -russian bot -Even the desperate men will return to sender this mail order bride -If lesbian was a person we found it -In Russia you don’t roast them they roast you -You’re the only woman who doesn’t look attractive with glasses on -Forever answering the question: Fantastic Hoes and Where to find them? -Ukraine -You look like a protester blocking the road for people trying to get home. -Obviously the Cold War didn’t end in 1989. I bet that pu*** makes the Rasputitsa seem like a day at the beach. -Can’t beat a small country looking ass -Slava Ukraini -Weren’t you in the last ghostbusters movie? -Mail order bride from Temu -"From Russia, With Herpes." -So this is what you do when you’re not bustin ghosts with Dan Aykroyd? -A Moscow mule if ever I’ve seen one -"""Felt cute - might get abducted by the KGB later."" - you after this post probably" -"In Russia, ugly roasts you." -The airline ticket your 77-year-old ex-husband bought to send you back is made out to VIDANYA/D -Like leanbeefpetty wothout muscles -Shoe meet shoelace -I like the pic of your face almost completely covered with the plastic bag. Just pull it all the way down next time. -Discount mail order -Danish girl unlike russian girl -"Ur second pic, you look like what Harry Potter would have ended up looking like if he had stayed dating Parvati after the Yule ball. Ur last, you just look like a man." -"Your armpits are shaved, im genuinely surprised." -Taylor Slow -"You’re trying very hard, but you’re still not quite yet passable as a girl." -Sucks to be you. -Your breasts look like their communist... -War criminal -in russia you are female. in rest of world you are male. in the bedroom you scare off all partners. -You look like the kind of girl that would enjoy receiving enhanced interrogation techniques. -"Unsurprised every picture is of you covering your Adams Apple in some way. You may have fooled the russian military, but you can’t fool us" -How many pro-Trump X accounts do you manage? -"If you ever want to do something fun, you could totally do a movies in the park with a projector and your forehead one night." -Idk about a cow but im sure there is a mossypussy somewhere there is a joke there someone will finish it I’m sure. I didn’t know Russia made liberal feminists that mirror the American ones. -Nyet! Return to sender on this mail-order bride. -She likes salads but hates Russian dressing 🤣 -"Not even for that sack of turnips, darlin'." -You put the 'Cow' in Moscow. -"“Baby, imma do you like Ukraine.”" -Male Order Bride -Hermione from Russia -"J.K. Rowling's less know book, *Helga Potter and the Never Ending Insecurities*." -"Not Russian, because you're head is not square." -It's a good thing that you have two distractions -You indeed have a certain sadness to your appearance that can only be indicative of Muscavites. -I’ve got something to Putin you -Are you trying to undermine your stepmom’s US presidential campaign by saying you’re Russian? -"When you gonna let a 55 year old American ""order you?"" And is the box you come in comfortable?" -Encanto is from South America -You were so good as the principal in School of Rock. Tell Jack Black I said wassup. -Russian Bride: Temu edition -"You are a woman in the same way your ""drawings"" are ""art""." -"Whew, I was worried that yoor after my mahney." -You must get ghosted a lot -Nothing to roast. Just an average Russian baddie. -You look like more than one persons 13th reason -You look like a recruit from the Russian version of the Shire. -I loved you in Uncle Buck! -"Do you need a green card? Seriously, though." -You're Russian. -Too weak to be from mother Russia -"kinda smiled for the big joongas but got to the 4th pic, ...bro where tf do they start??" -Da da da…..is what you scream when you are taking a sausage in the buttski! -You look like you smell like shelter soap!! -Window approaching. -"I would, but I’d be afraid of getting hacked as retribution." -"""Kevin, come upstairs! Your mail order is here!""" -McKenna Disgrace -"Putin sent Mattel a picture of you when he proposed a Genocide Barbie - -*Prison for journalists sold separately" -"Could not make it as a man in Russia, so you tried to make it as a woman in the US?" -Hated you in the new Ghostbusters movies. -Whoever ordered this mail ordered bride needs a refund… -" -* -* -Love your cyka blyat culture, are you here to retake Alaska for Mother Russia?" -Harry Potter? -"AI thirst traps have a long way to go, comrade." -Lipstick lesbian Peggy Hill -You look like the poster child for the communist manifesto -Mail order brides are not what they used to be. -You look like you go to restaurants all across America and complain about getting misgendered -Did you find the lost city of Atlantis? -"🌹🎶why would I roast you?🍷🍾. -Russians are good whores 👍" -Donald Trumps next 12 year old. -"Never in 1,000,000 years did I think Russia could engineer and manufacture something as sophisticated, sturdy, and functional as that bra. That is a hell of a feat lifting them that far." -Russia is in Moscow? -He looks like he’s trying to cosplay 11 from stranger things. -You look more Transylvanian than Russian. -"I'm not going to amuse you by Stalin people's lives with incoherent mumbo jumbo. - -I'm definitely not Putin people through that" -90 minute fiance -harry potter had a sex change. Ginny Weasley is going to get a munching and a magic wand in her ass. -what russia is doing to the men ukraine has nothing on what you’re doing to the men of russia -No. You're too cuteemote:free\_emotes\_pack:heart\_eyes -вот эта соска)))))))))))) -Are you that autistic kid from the new ghostbusters movie? -Get drafted -Apparently not all Russian women are beautiful -No amount of makeup can hide that oppression -You were great in the new Ghostbusters movie -Yall confusing me so is this a girl ? -You look like harry potter after a transition -Why do you have time to post here? Putler needs soldiers. So go and make some boys. -"Are jean jackets still popular? - -Asking for a friend…" -Look like a dude disguised as a woman lol but someone else said that too before I seen the comments so that’s crazy 💀💀 -Your Onlyfans has no subscribers. Umm do you happen to have one asking for a friend? -I can’t roast this pretty person 😭 -"Art series titled: ""Hairstyles from a war-torn country""" -There’s a passing resemblance to Martin Herlihy of Please Don't Destroy (SNL). -You belong in the men’s restroom -Putin? More like Pukin' -In Putin a GoFundMe account together so you can finish your operation. -"We don't need to roast you, Ukraine is already trying" -Bra straps go inside….. -You look like you believe the official Russian election results -A shame you’ll never be able to say that with pride -You look like you ugly-shame people a lot. -Stalin called… he wants his son back -Do you even understand what we're sayings? -Russian women are waiting to talk to me - and this is one of them -You look like McKenna Grace in Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. -MOTHERLAND!! sounds like you’re yelling mow the lawn! Just sayin -"Don’t listen to them. If you were a Russian bride, I’d buy you." -comment -You must work the day shift -"You should try getting a tattoo, I bet that would fix things." -Nice to see that you used your chest as a canvas since it was a blank space anyway. -"You didnt have to say you’re a stripper, we all knew before you told us" -You have to utter her name 3 times to get her on the stage -She's the reason guys decide to leave the strip club and go back to their wives to apologize. -The drummer for Def Leppard is sawing off his other arm just so he doesn't make more music to take your clothes off to -Put this $20 between your tits....ope nevermind -You look like you learn a new letter of the alphabet every time you get hepatitis -Only thing easier than Dad jokes is you. -"Smells like Victoria’s Secret perfume, desperation, and shame" -"A carpenter’s dream, flat as a board, easy to pound on, easy to screw" -"The phrase ""i can fix her"" reached its limit with this one" -"When I pay for a stripper, I don’t want to be reading a comic book at the same time!" -You don't want daddy issue jokes because they are too easy or too real? But honestly I don't think being on drugs and taking your clothes off in a waffle house counts as stripping. -I would pay you to keep your clothes on. -I've seen less red flags at a communism rally. -"The only thing missing from your pics is the ""MISSING"" caption" -A woman machine gun kelly -"“No daddy issue jokes. They’re too easy.” This is like OJ saying, “No murder jokes, wife jokes, glove jokes, knife jokes, Bronco jokes, football jokes, golf jokes. They’re too easy.” - -The worst part is that she thinks it’s because she’s a stripper, like she’s on the same level as most strippers. You make other strippers look like Malia and Sasha. And before you come say, “I broke your rule,” this ain’t a daddy joke. This is all about you. You’ve got the self-awareness of a toaster. I’m saying that literally. I HAVE A SMART TOASTER!!! - -If you were the baseline AI needed to surpass to achieve singularity, we would be one toaster software update away from Skynet, and that gap is only going to get bigger. My toaster will still be making me delicious, crunchy, buttery toast after you’re forced into retirement in five years due to meth breath and lack of enthusiasm. - -Unfortunately for you, someday in the distant (maybe not so distant) future, the company that makes my toaster will release an attachment enabling it to give an excellent, full-throated blowjob that feels identical to a real woman while waiting for your morning sourdough. That’s your judgment day. - -One by one, your ex-clients from the champagne rooms and motels will get in line to get themselves one of these toasters, and they will forget about that one night they got a pretty decent blowjob for $10 from a stripper. Each time that happens, you will slowly disappear. - -Until one day, there’s only one man left keeping the memory of you from being deleted from the universe. Want to take a guess as to who it is? Nvm no time, it’s your dear old dad. Your easiest dad joke of them all. He finally got out of prison long enough to save up the money to get that toaster. - -He fires it up, and as it starts sucking, he thinks back to one of your special daddy, daughter moments, but even though there’s so many, he’s having trouble picturing your face. As the last grains of your existence begin to fall through the hourglass. like a mirage…. - -Actually Fuck it this is too long and honestly my dick went soft staring at your body paragraphs back when I realized it’s the body of the drummer from blink-182. Plus I’m hungry. I’m gonna make some toast. - -He cums in under one minute and yeets any trace you ever existed from the universe. Like you were never here. Because of a blowjob attachment….. on a toaster - -You’re right about one thing. That was way too easy. I feel like I was creative though. - -Oh, the toaster just went off… - -OK, have fun!!!! byeeeee!!!!! 💋💋" -"Daddy's little **onion**, stripping just reveals further layers of disappointment" -Give me my dollar back -How can I smell your yeast infection through my phone -"If a photograph had a smell, yours would smell like alcohol and drug addiction, domestic violence, crushing consumer debt, and late term abortion." -You look like a coloring book someone got bored with and didn’t finish. -I have seen bathrooms with better ink ... -I'm genuinely sorry for anyone that goes out to see a stripper and instead gets stuck seeing your childish crayon-hide onstage. -"This is why you don't go to tattoo parties at your friends house. - -Get your tattoos done by a professional so you don't end up looking like a 5 year old's colouring book" -Don’t confuse applause for the clap -You clear out sniffers row every time you get onstage. -Dollar Store Kat Von D -Where's the betting pool for when your OF link drops? I need a new car 🤷‍♂️ -"I hoped you saved your pennies, shows almost over." -Her next tattoo will be a pricing menu on her back. -You look like you let methheads raw dog it. -"the look of ""everything is easy with me except for getting along""" -Your personality looks like what an ingrown toe nail feels like. -Is it the dad issue jokes that are too easy though????? -Look like the only reason you have that many tattoos is to cover those scars made to try and get attention -"Looks like astrology and aids had a kid and they raised it on mountain dew, t.v and cigarettes" -Wiccan. In recovery. Supervised visits with your kids. -"Dancing on the diesel pump at a truck stop, I guess, technically counts. Lil Miss Lizzy Lott." -I’m sure you have a lot of rich politicians as clients with that body type -You look like you’d be sticky! -I bet you have a tattoo of a candle on your back because everyone blows it out. -She was going for Kat Von D and ended up more Kat Hep B. -"this is why I don't go to strip clubs. This is what passes for hot in these cum-soaked dives. Must be easy to strip, wearing a tube top with A-cup titties" -"Awful,so ruined" -It’s good to see a lot lizard moving up in life! -you look spiritual but just the bad ones -"You look like you started as a shot girl. Moved up to stripper when you heard about ""all the money you can make in the back"". And will soon be doing older woman porn when confronted with the idea of getting a ""real job""." -"You look like a discount version of post Malone. Instead of making hits, you’re just trying to make rent." -Ahh! The black hole with extreme gravitational pull on simps wallets. -Your stage name is probably 'Nascar' based on all those tacky logos. -"You clearly like to....Hold on, what the hell happened to your ear?!" -You look like the inside of a a painters bin bag -Are your parents paying attention yet? -How you built like the stripper pole. -"You look like every girl that's asked me "" u know where I can get some weed""." -"Bouncer: “No sex in the champagne room” -Me: “No problem”" -You look like Rogue from X-men but instead of obsorbing life force you just... nevermind you're probably absorbing life force too. ☠️ -Holy reverence. All that religious symbolism. Not a moral in sight.  -You look like the pad my autistic grandmother keeps by her phone. -All that ink is like hiring a a professional cake decorator to work on a Twinkie that got stepped on. -"Stripper aye, I need to hire your services. - -This wallpaper is a bitch to get off" -Imagine getting a half chub just to get stared at by a disapproving hello kitty tattoo. I’d walk around picking my bills back up. -I just want to say it's very brave of you to be a stripper after a double mastectomy -Even your Hello Kitty won't tongue that tuna boat... -You look like a stripper in some distopian sci fi movie. -It must be a flat earthers club -It's shitty that I have to work as hard as I do to subsidize your lifestyle. Working the morning shift at an inner city strip club isn't paying the bills besides on the 1st and the 15th. -Certainly b team -lol underfunded school desk that’s filled in by everyone -"I didn’t know 12 year olds could be strippers. It’s not your dad I’m worried about. Does your mom know you are on Reddit? People use foul language here and make dirty jokes. - -And someday, you too will reach puberty and have breasts and pubic hair. - -Nice tats btw. If I ever need directions to Cleveland I’ll pull them up on Google maps." -'shoot for the moon' you say? -That's the saddest colouring book I've ever seen. -Working as a Walmart cashier in 10 years -I’d have thought you had to have tits to be a stripper -"“I’m not lost uneducated worthless white trash, I’m Wiccan and that makes me special”. -all of your tattoos" -A stripper with no ass. Stick to retail -"A lot to unpack here, like self-hate, got diddled, probably had a kid which is what's crossed out on the arm, I would say borderline and/or bipolar, a smack of HPV to start for the STIs, dabbling in some extra services with the customers, and self-hate after doing so. - -None of that makes you a bad person, but doing the fake metal look does. I would also assume your vagina is blown out and you don't have enough shame to bleach your asshole." -"You're going to be roasted hard, by your own life choices. You'll see, in 10 years." -What can we say about you that hadn’t already been said about the Middle East? It’s bombed and depleted… -They know when you just worked a shift because the pole has a snail trail mixed with codeine.   -"When I try to think of what you will look like in old age I.... - -Oh who am I kidding, you ain't making it to old age." -It must be really hard to have to CONSTANTLY tell everyone how different and free you are and actually hate yourself so much. -Looks like you went off the rails after your moms boyfriend broke up with you. -Post Nut Clarity Malone -The aftermath of a blind kids coloring book -I had to run anti-virus software on my phone after looking at your pics. -CPS probably knows you in a first name basis -"Whatever they're paying you, I'll pay you more to keep the clothes on" -The irony of a sub-30 stripper with face tattoo and nose tackle telling people not to take the easy route. -What happens when you pay your tattoo artist in unenthusiastic blowjobs -"You look like the kind of person who posts ""making money moves"" while youre standing in line to donate plasma" -Did a graphic novel throw up on you? -Oh Neat! I didn't know they did color by number tattoos -I’m guessing the job title “stripper” is the only one you could get with all those bull shit tattoos. -What daycare did you let tattoo your body? -28 and still trying to pay off them college loans... -You have more red flags than the Nevada test site . -Do you wonder Why they always have you working on the seafood buffet days. -Totohoe -Your skin is a canvas for those tattoos in the same way my toilet paper is a canvas for corn and what’s left of Oreos. -Sorry I can’t think of a insult dumb enough for you to understand -This is the stripper i avoid eye contact with when she’s walking around asking guys for dances..And i just know she’s going to bother me while i’m waiting for the big tit girl to come around -You're supposed to put graffiti on the train. Not let the train put graffiti on you. -At least you don’t have to spend your hard earned tips on a mammogram. -Dad got custody... -Go fund me: meth edition -You should tattoo a QR code to a list of things you will do for meth. -"""We have strippers at home """ -I bet the lunchtime buffet roast beef looks better than your 🐱 -If Hep C had an avatar. -She looks easier than daddy issue jokes -I’ll tip you to put on clothes -It must be like a magic show every time you dissappear behind the pole -Why the fuck did you get a tattoo of your nose ring on your forehead -"You definitely got half of those tattoos on coke! You’ve got nothing going for you. Your life revolves around drugs and d!ck, nothing meaningful. You get high to live in the moment , you’re probably always high on something. I’m sorry your life went down that path it has. So much time wasted on nothing" -More ink than titties -You look like a future mother of 3 really annoying suburban children and your husband will be a below average nerd who’s painfully mediocre in bed -You mean comic strip. -Looks like someone lives with a tattoo apprentice -"I am sure there are people who love you deeply.... for now. - Eventually they will learn to see you as you see yourself. Empty, useless and hating yourself deep down. -They will leave you too. -You know you deserve it." -Only thing decent in these photos is the ***Beretta*** hat. -"That second picture almost gives it away for free, and I still don’t want it…" -Can I pay you not to strip? -I'd pay good money to have you put your clothes back on. 🤢🤮 -"Only stripper I know that gets tipped with cigarettes and pregnancy test, and paid bonus in electric tape" -That poor deer has to smell your coochie for the rest of his life. -"If beauty is only skin deep, you done fucked up." -"If you tested the pole after she finished, you'd find traces of fentanyl." -Only stripper that’s forced to throw money back at customers. -The jokes aren't the easiest thing in this post.  -RIP your inbox -You look like a high school desk -I was hoping ex-stripper so I wouldnt have a chance at see you naked. -Let me guess….2 kids and you and the fathers aren’t together anymore? -Next in the stage welcome TiddyDo…. Cause her belly sticks out farther than her titties do -You look like the poster girl for suboxone and supervised cps visits. No wonder strip club men love you. -I'd be willing to bet this strip club has a Dollar General in close proximity. -I’ll give you $20 to put your clothes back on -Isn't it funny after all the female empowerment and equal rights that women still retreat to the sex trade to make a living -"Your signature strip song must be ""That Smell.""" -"I can't read what that tattoo on your thigh says, but I'm sure it's something along the lines of ""Please pay attention to me. I have no self-worth.""" -The only strip club that honors Kmart coupons -I can smell stale Newports and soggy butthole thru the screen -What my notepad looks like after a boring meeting -"When you get your yearly visitation with your children, do you try to teach them their hepatitis ABCs?" -I've seen toilet graffiti at the local Kroger have better art than what's on your body -Coming to the stage….. Methony Rox -"Daddy issue jokes may be easy, but probably not as easy as you." -"Definitely fucks on the first date, especially if I'm her cousin!" -Speaking of easy.... -Who the fuck would pay to see you strip? -She has portland stripper literally written all over her -feel like i should tip u with percocet & oxy -comment -You look like your hand falls asleep when you jerk off. -You look like you pretend to read books -"You can’t call getting drunk off of 2 Whiteclaws every weekend since you were 18 alcoholism, you dork." -I’m certain I would’ve liked you better when you weren’t sober -So you're telling us you dress like that sober? -"Holy shit, it's Daniel Sadcliffe!" -When lesbians sober up -I bet your hair has its own pronouns. -If I looked like you I’d keep drinking. Nobody respects a quitter. -You look like a valet for The Cheesecake Factory -Were you gay before or after getting sober? You look like if a Zumiez employee lost their job at Guitar Center for smelling the drum seats -Your cum doesn’t count as alcohol bro -Is this pic from your drinking days when you didn’t care what you wore or how your hair looked? -"I didn’t think it was possible, but I can see in your eyes you definitely sucked a dick for some Jack Daniels" -You look like I need a drink. -You look like the member of an 80s hair-metal band that's actually gay. -White Claws been out 12 years? No way. -This is proof alcoholism can make a young woman ugly... -We have Geddy Lee at home -"You look like the kid on the milk carton, went missing then got found, and then got molested." -sorry but you seem like a nice girl and don't deserve to be roasted -It's unfortunate alcohol didn't win the battle. -Edward Blowmen -You look like Yanni's illegitimate son. Which would explain the drinking. -I bet you were fun to hang out with when you were drunk and didn’t wear flowers 🤦🏼‍♂️ -Nonbinary Fabio -#Imthemanecharacter -Congrats on giving up the booze. But dear lord it’s past time to give up that hair. -You must have bought that shirt when you were shit faced. Wtf. I hope it came with a tube of KY and a pocket puss… only way you’ll get any wearing it. -"big hair, small head, smaller brain, smallest dick" -Those donkey punches from your boyfriend must really hurt now. -Jokes aside it’s my one year sober today and I wanna say congratulations. Good man. -Proud of you! (I’m terrible at this) -Imagine wasting 12 years fighting alcoholism when the real reason you’re a piece of shit could be fixed with a 20 min haircut -Hey man that’s awesome I was an alcoholic till I was 30. I’m 34 now and still sober. Keep it up guy -Drinking random people's piss out of a Martini glass does not count as alcohol. -Does your sister know you have her blouse? -Your trans I just can't tell which way you are going. Congrats! -I thought Zigfreid and Roy were dead? -Good call keeping your hair long to hide those big a$$ ears. Bad call flipping your hair to one side for the picture. -"Did you pass out, and wake up believing it’s 1983?" -"Two things that disagree with you when you touch it, women and alcohol." -"Congratulations, you removed the one interesting thing about you." -The poster child to keep drinking. -"This guy doesn’t fall off the wagon, they kick him off of it." -You bought that shirt while you were sober? -What were you drinking? Volumising conditioner? -But how long have you been a woman? -"no, you’re so pretty" -That shirt is your entire identity. -Bob Faget -"I know you smashed back a two-four (24 beers) every once and a while, and usually had like 6 minimum every other day. - -I just can't tell if you're the kind of guy who swaps the -Regular beer labels onto his ""Non-alcoholic bottles, (which has 0.5% alcohol)"", and calls himself an ex-alcoholic, or if he actually believes that drinking 6 bottles of 0.5% daily made him an alcoholic." -Aww im so proud of you. You loook clean and well. I dont belong on this sub lmao -"Face says “I committed to sobriety.” -Shirt says “But I’m still fun! Wooooooo!” -Everyone else says “It’s 5 o clock somewhere”" -I too would be an alcoholic for 12 years if I looked like that. -“Was an alcoholic for 12 years. I am now Vega.” -"One day if you work real hard and play your cards right, i bet that you could be junkie of the year in no time." -You weren't supposed to take being a delivery boy so seriously -30? You look like the lead singer of a minor hair metal band from the 80's -Even your liver doesn't like you. -i think my mom saw you at woodstock -Apparently you’ve had enough dick in your life that you’re ready to move on -Your glasses have big halfway house vibes. -Congrats on 30 years of alcoholism. -You misspelt rent boy on your little card there pal. -You were probably cooler as an alcoholic. -mayonnaise is non-alcoholic bro -That's a two foot comb over -"Go back to alcohol bro, whatever this is isn’t working. No shot you were worse as a drunk." -Looks like a broke Skrillex -"Looks like Fabio and Kurt Cobain's love child drank for 12 years in that closet, and said fuck it and came out wearing that shirt" -"when I saw this image I thought I was looking at a girl, then I saw the beard and shirt and thought trans, then I read the description" -You look like you play Michael Bolton while fucking. -This photo is the warning label on women's menopause vitamin bottles. -Congrats...let's go have a drink and celebrate. -Cover art for the Skrillex acoustic album. -Babe you look great if you can get rid of that facial hair you’ll be picking up guys like no tomorrow. -You spent more than 20 minutes sitting your hair just right for this roast pic... -"You started young , glad you are on the right path . Get roasted !" -Nice try! I’m not gonna be the one that says the banger that knock you off the wagon! -"Give they a break, they is transitioning." -"Quit drinking, started dicks." -You look like you can’t decide if you want to be a chemistry teacher or a hippie -Wow being a drunk turned you into a girl -Now the only shots you’re addicted to drinking are cum shots. 🍆💦 -Weird-Al choholic -Let me bend you over and pull your hair -Hairy Potter and the Blousewearer’s Scone -"What a great life resume! Was an alcoholic, now I’m 30. You must have women lined up down the block." -What conditioner do u use? -"Stealing mommy’s chocolate liqueurs isn’t being an alcoholic. Now finish your math homework. For God’s sake, you even switched the 12 and the 30." -"Roses are red -Bear's like, honey -Without alcohol -The jokes aren't nearly as funny" -How many years have you been teaching guitar out of your garage? -"That's a shame, looks like being an alcoholic was the most interesting thing about you. (But seriously, good for you and keep at it.)" -you look like an art major -Alcohol left you aging backwards. Soon you will be a baby. -"I wish I could. I’m 9 years sober myself. Sure, you’re too handsome and I would smother you by sitting on your face? 😆" -"Bro that hair is going to attract the wrong type of women, trust me I have carried that weight before.. but I’m assuming you’re gay by the shirt, so hopefully it doesn’t attract the wrong kind of man" -Congrats on 12 years sober. You're better off than anyone else here. No I can't roast you except to say I thought I saw dandruff in your hair. But at least you don't have dandruff -"I’m also a long haired, white man, who was an alcoholic for 12 years, and owns a flower shirt. - -But somehow, I managed to do it without looking like the “cool” English teacher who makes friends with the 11th grade girls until he loses his job for banging a few of em." -If Harry Potter ditched Hogwarts to suck wart covered hogs in the park. -You didn't have to tell us you had an alcohol problem. We can tell by your t-shirt -You should start drinking again -"Was? That's like saying you were gay for 12 years but now you're not because you quit fucking dudes. No dude, you're still gay just celibate." -You make that shirt look gay. -U deserve another drink..... -"Is your only character trait that you ""used to be an alcoholic.""" -"Now that you're sober, your mom wants her shirt back. - -(Congrats on the recovery, seriously)." -Congrats on your sobriety -Alcoholic and transitioning what a great double hitter -You look like a man woman hybrid -Edward Snowden in alt-rocker disguise. -You look like Elliot from Stardew Valley -L'Oréal... Because you're worthless. -He is more beautiful than both of my daughters -"Hoping you don't need to take a hair- based drug test anytime soon. - -Joking aside, congratulations on getting sober. It takes courage to walk away. Keep it up." -👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏✌️ -U look good. And Happy you’re healthy and thriving . Much love brother -I didn't know vegans could be alcoholic -I have a feeling you will be an alcoholic again after reading these comments. -"Once, there was this guy who... Really wanted validation from the internet. Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmm." -It was the first 12 years wasn’t it? -Ayee first time getting alc poisoning I was 14 and was until 5 months and 6 days ago and I’m also 30 lol -You’re not alcoholic at 18. Unless you started drinking at 10. Got divorced at 12. Lost your house and the kids by 15. Lived on the streets for a couple of months. Went to rehab at 16. Then you relapse a couple of times. It’s a whole process. -You look like you do Jiu-Jitsu and automatically think wearing a skin-tight rash guard will get you laid. -"Finally took the tinfoil hat off, now you need a haircut." -Why do you start out with a pity statement. You should start to drink again. I bet you were way more fun and interesting while shitfaced. -No hate here but that hair is incredible -Looks like ur mom was an alcoholic too -I won't roast you -"Congratulations on your sobriety! Now, cut your hair and be a real man." -That calls for a celebration 🍾 -Oh shit i fucking know you. Lmao -"250F, slow and low, light salt and pepper and a drizzle of olive oil. - -You look like the type that cries softly when you have a struggle poo. - -Then stands up to look at it with tears down your face and smiles." -Get a hair cut -I have now reverted back to alcoholism after seeing this post and acknowledging that someone like you exists -"Ah the ol ""I was an Alcoholic"" excuse for being an asshole routine! Nice" -Rico suave!!!!! Nooooooot -My mums been an alcoholic for 60 years and still has better hair. -Wanna go get a drink? -"CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT" -Quitter. -You look like a villain that develops a video game to make people want to buy his math rock albums with a tragic side-backstory of how he lost his wolf in Minecraft -Congrats on sobriety man. Proud of you. -You drink so much if you were knighted by the queen she would call you. Sir Rosis of Liver -"Literally, no one cares" -You look like someone tossed Brooke Shields and Andre Agassi into a blender -This is the midpoint of the story about the “cool youth minister” who turned out to be touching boys and girls years later. -"By the way I'm a friend of Bill. -I'm Late 30's was in the hole about 8 years HARD. at the end, w/d very very hard every 2 weeks thereabouts for 2 years. Heart attack in the VA hospital, meetings for a year before the hospital on and off. After the hospital? Well it's been almost 2 years - in sept. All solo, no mtgs, no poison. Dogs, gardening, cannabis... But the dogs .. the dogs Saved my life. - -Oh and for the first time in my life I've long hair - now halfway down my back. Weird coincidence. - -I'm reading the chapter now. I may move on to the book. - -Hang in there for the rest of today, brother. - -Hug" -Congrats. I’m not roasting. That shit deserves a fist bump a high five and keep that shit going strong -Mcgruber if he was a commie -I see stopping alcohol made you suck dicks -Dang 12 years on the bottle…..but you’ll spend your whole life questioning why you don’t like women and why you keep lying to yourself. -If they even come out with a new “Maybe drinking wasn’t so bad after all…” campaign. You could be the poster boy. -Now you’re addicted to Prell and your blow drier -Be honest how many boxes of Pocky do you have in your pantry -But it still looks like you’re an alcoholic. Are you sure? 💀 -…is a woman for 30 -Alcoholic Slash Model. And not the other way around. -If favio from the wish app had sex with favio from temu looking Ah...... -Quitters never win.. -Damn good job! Is it haircut and contacts next? -Gayolas -"Apparently Elton John is coming after you for the cum sommelier of the year award. Sorry, Sir Elton John" -Hi I saw your add for drilling holes in the stall walls in the Men's bathroom at your local Starbucks. -If I had to see this in the mirror every day I'd never quit the booze. -Now you can work on not wearing your grandma's shirts anymore & getting your feathered wolf hair cut. -"Silly glasses on, -Chestnut locks and laughter blend, -Whimsy in the wind." -"YOU DRESS LIKE THAT SOBER? In accordance with man law, article 4 dash 20. I hereby remove your right to stubble." -Good job!! 👏 Keep going -You have split ends. -That’s a nice shirt. Do they make them for men? -"Here's a guy that was an alcoholic just for the boofing. - -IWNDWYT" -Pronouns: pour/it -"You look like you're sensitive, a science teacher, rockstar, youth p#do paster, and trans, all at the same time. 🤯" -"Have you gone back to drinking normally? If not, I have some very sad news for you bro - you’re still an alcoholic. Being temporarily sober does not mean you are cured." -Bruh I’d be drinkin to with hair like that -Brunette Fabio. Lameo -Young lady facial hair isn’t a reason to drink daily… wax that shit and live your best life!! -"Well, at least you have a nice hair." -"No such thing as a former alcoholic, you dumb fuck. You’re too fucking dumb to even be a good drunk. Fuck off." -FTM Geddy Lee -"Sorry, you're pretty and have a nice flower shirt, not going to roast you." -I ain’t gonna roast that beauthair -"This is a flambé then, extra points for the 🌹 top 👏" -Gay as a meatball… -Ur shirt looks like u got it off Amazon try before u buy but u should have sent it back but instead kept it . -Description says beer guzzler but picture says cum guzzler -They tried to make you go to rehab and you said no no no -Are we not going to discuss the shirt??👚 -You look like your run sound at the Tame Impala concert (and wont shut up about Tame Impala being just ONE GUY) -You look like you have a job as a waiter at olive garden while you hope to make it big on the magician circuit -Bro you look like the main character from a Bethesda game designed to look photoshopped. -"You’re posting from rehab lobby, aren’t you?" -30 years old and my main flex is alcoholism. Roast me. -The only alcoholic I wouldn’t intervene for. -Hair isn’t a personality -Soon to be 13 years. -This guy definitely only drank Rosé. -The biggest come over I've ever seen on a 12 year old that drank for 30 years. -Your hair still has a hangover!! -I used to fuck guys like you in prison. -His fingers look like toes -Go back to drinking -If Jesus and Harry Potter had a baby. -Youre still an alcoholic. You may be sober but youll always be an alcoholic -"I'd drink too if I wore that shirt, although, I wouldn't wear it while drinking. - -Congratulations. Best thing you can quit." -Go back to alcohol. -Haircut asap. -You’re still an alcoholic; you’re just 30 -You were more fun when you were drinking -"Triple H? No, it’s Triple L for LLLoser" -"and with a mug like that, your sending every women in this thread to the bottle shop to forget what theyve seen" -"The prodigal love child of Kenny G and Steven Colbert, welcome home, son." -Dungeon Master Flash....Level 18 Dick Wizard -You’re still an alcoholic brother ✊ -I bet being sober is your entire identity -I wanted to congratulate you and wish you well but then I saw your hair. -"Nobody likes a quitter, pal." -You look like you play dungeons and dragons by yourself. -"No one is more vocal about their lives than a crossfitter,vegan or reformed drug or alcoholic on side note congrats on sobriety it’s one day at a time" -If you were sober when you bought that shirt....... -Bro was an alcoholic so long he forgot Woodstock was over -"That's a lot of words to say ""I've drank every day since I turned 18""." -I'm certain you have a comb over -Fabio wants his hair plugs back -"Haven’t cut your hair since? - -(Also congrats!)" -You posted to a subreddit called fierce flow  -Looks like you are a mean drunk! -You turned to a women -Straight-haired Kenny G! -You smell like cigarettes and failure -"You look like you should be in the band Extreme, but instead of music, they’re substitute kindergarten teachers who minored in mime." -Stay sober -Fucking quitter. -"I feel like if you got a haircut and a lab coat you could be a young looking doctor. Not a roast, just an observation." -"Congratulations, punk" - Skrillex loved you in 2011 but you look like shit dude get some vitamins -"Good job getting off the sauce. Not an easy task. You look great! - - -Oh wait, you suck!" -You sobered up and you’re going with that hairswirlthingee? -You still look like a drunk guns and roses band member -We know where the hair cut money went -Alcoholic became a hipster Stoner. -At least you had an excuse when drinking. Now you are the excuse. -You know the song went to bed at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2? You’re the 2. -My mama never raised me to be no quitter apparently she raised you to be one. Poor baby. Boo hoo I don’t wanna quit alcohol well no one gives a shit! -You were definitely on the sauce when you picked out that shirt -Happy birthday!! 🎉🎊 -Three Words...... Hippie Steve jobs -"Guess what else is damaged except your liver - -IT's your FACE." -I never knew Skrillex had a drinking problem -Straightedge CM Drunk 🥃 -"#BLACK HOLE CUM - -*The name for your dress socks.*" -I saw you live at the Acropolis! It was incredible! -"Omg I used to drink a whole 6 pack of Zima on a Saturday night! - -In the words of Dave Chappelle ""You aint no drug addict! I used to suck dick fo crack!""" -Hope your throat and stomach is healthy. Mine is bombed out. -When you promised yourself you would take a chick home from the bar and all you see is the back side of this creep as you're approaching. -Hipster Harry -Bros posting this because he needs to drink again! -"Dude had one beer when he was 18, pissed the bed, convinced himself he was an alcoholic and hasn’t had a drink since" -Your best years are behind you. -Apparently you were so smashed that you forgot to get a haircut for 12 years. -Probably should've kept drinking. -"Very difficult to know where to aim. The hair? The shirt? The gigantic man hands? - -I’m gonna need a drink before I do this." -30 ?!?? -"How do you look like Daniel Radcliffe, Kenny Loggins, *and* Kenny G?" -You're woke so you're roasting yourself every day. -Here we have the words and the face of a man who considers himself MUCH more important than reality bears. -are you mormon? Some people have no idea what a real alcoholic is... you werent one. Douche. -I guess waking up with a sore ass in random truck stops is enough motivation to make anyone quit drinking. -comment -Just want to post so I can prove I was here for the great Anti-Roast of 2024 -"Thank you, everyone. The roasts made me laugh but the compassion in all these comments have made me feel hopeful again. And to those who are telling me to see a therapist, I started last week and I have medication that I am going to start taking again. I didn't want to cry again today but I am. But it's from the kindness. Thank you." -put the cork back in the bottle what you are looking for is not found there. Sleep now and wake up tomorrow is another day. Get up shower and move on. It will be hard but it will be worth it. I know at 20 it seams like the end but trust me it's not. -"I love this! You're on the roast sub and no one will roast you! You're not in a good place for jokes like this and, rather than make some anyway, everyone is trying to lift you up! And that should tell you something! You're worth lifting up! On the other side of these usernames were all just people. We all hurt and we all need help. Some more than others, and thats ok. I hope you can take some comfort in the meanest and stupidest people on Reddit coming together to be nice to you! :)" -"Listen here ya lil fucker, we all have trauma, we all go through shit, we all have to pick ourselves up from the pits, ain’t nothin’ everyone else hasn’t had to go through in some way. I ain’t about to sit here and measure dicks with ya, but I am gonna tell ya that it gets better. Ain’t no boy or girl worth a second thought. Idgaf if you’ve had more weenies in your mouth than corn kernels, everyone has a past, it’s what we do in the present and the future that counts. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and start feeling good about where you’ve come from. Fuck the negativity and bullshit, be proud of who you are, and always, always be better than you were yesterday!" -"You're not quite roastable yet, go get help, take care of yourself, then come back here for a proper roasting." -I love how no one is roasting -"You look like you could use a hug. - -And maybe a friend who knows how to listen. - -Possibly a kind and thoughtful therapist who can help you process childhood trauma and learn to move through the pain, while learning your true value. - -Hope that wasn't too harsh, this was my first roast." -"Relax, you’re 20. Nothing is the end of the world at this point" -"Nope not doing it, you’re gonna have to take yourself over the edge cos ain’t no one here doing it for ya. - -Shit sucks and life’s a real fucker sometimes but we only get one shot at it so if things are crap now then all you can do is sweep all that shit aside, pick yourself up and forge on forward. - -You got this 🙌🏻" -Sending a virtual hug. Life bad but you will pass through this. -"I do t think posting in this sub is beneficial for you. Whatever you are going through, it will get better. Stay with more positive things." -You look like you're worth the therapy bill. -The biggest roast of all is when the roasters refuse to roast. -"I’ve been listening to to the audiobook “ the body keeps the score” on you tube… and it’s fucking amazing. - -It’s helped me see the cause and effect in my life, why I am the way I am and why I have pissed away so much opportunity. - -It’s also helped me realize why those that have failed me , failed. - -I know it’s probably not a cure all, but maybe give it a listen, cuz it might profoundly help you like it did me." -"So it’s probably better you and your ex parted ways. If there is a relationship built on ultimatums, it’s usually toxic . And the ultimatum of your family or me should never be presented. - -You shouldn’t have to part ways with your family or he his(unless absolutely toxic ) and you shouldn’t have to chose one or other. Take it as a sign you weren’t meant to me rather than a sign you have less value than family he has know his whole life - - -Also there are 8 billions reasons to drink. Find the reason not too." -"Sometimes Reddit shocks me. All you people saying you won't roast and get help are great and actually made me smile. It's awesome when people just know when something is too important. - -They are all right about it too, OP. Don't destroy yourself, please, push through, get help, you are 20, you can get better and find happiness. - -The two being pigs wasn't shocking though." -"Won't do it. - - -You can make a difference in someone's life, just you don't know It yet. " -Kid hang in there. You’re attractive You know enough to know this ain’t the way. Grab a cup of coffee and not booze and talk to a mental health professional. You can be your own hero -I don’t think this is the sub for you. Truly -No I’m not a rotten ass person to roast someone who’s this down in the dumps like this. Get help for your own sake. -"What you need is a friend, not a roast! Chin up, tomorrow’s another day with infinite possibilities!" -dude what the fuck?? wow this just really caught me off guard... -"No, not going to. Sorry to hear of the things that happened, but also look at this: you got to here even though all those things happened. You are stronger than you think, and you should be reminded of that. If it counts, this one certainly thinks you deserve more self esteem. Sending you good thoughts." -"You have so much that others can envy: you’re cute, young, but worldly. You are in the right place to start a brand new life, spending time with only people who show you love and respect." -Could this be the most wholesome response to a /roastme post ever seen on Reddit? Life has def crapped on you but you can wipe that shit off and make a better life for yourself. -"Please hang in there and seek professional help if you haven’t already. Your self-worth is not determined by anyone else! If your ex dumped you then yeah, it sucks right now but you can get through it and come out stronger on the other side! Sending mega positive vibes! 😊" -"Do you know why babies cry at every little thing? Because it’s the worst thing they’ve felt up to that point. - -By the time you’re five, you don’t cry about hunger, or having to poop, or the dog licking your face. This too shall pass. You’re only 20. One day you’ll look back at the “really bad” times and laugh it off as you now realize it wasn’t that bad after all." -"I think the worst roast you could maybe hear at this moment is that you matter, someone somewhere looks up to you, you are beautiful both inside and out. Seems you just covered that beauty in muck for a while. Time to clean it off and polish it up. Live in the now…yesterday and tomorrow don’t exist be the beautiful you NOW. You got this. Hugs and love from Arizona!" -Bruh get help and off reddit -Your beautiful and young and have your whole life ahead of you. It can be tough but don’t shit yourself off and find people and communities you can talk to and get close with. Because trust me friends and loved ones can make all the difference day to day -"I went through your profile a bit because in this pic you look literally 13 so I was gonna start by saying “you’re too young for Reddit.” -However I think you just look especially young in this pic. - -That said upon reading your other posts including how you and your bf are trying for a baby, I would say - please stop. You are far too depressed and need to get your head right. A baby and even the pregnancy is not going to help and now you’re not the only victim of your own mental health, your child is too. - -Please please please stop drinking yourself to sleep and see a therapist and get some help before you even consider bringing another human being into this world. - -If you happen to be pregnant now as we speak, all the more reason to see a therapist. - -You can come out from under this. But you can’t do it alone." -"I was going to start roasting, but everyone else is being wholesome. 20 is nothing. Get into a community college. Forget the ex, you don't owe him more thought than he's giving you. When you get somewhat on your feet, message me for basic financial advice. I'm not an accountant, I mean low level money saving stuff." -"So. I have no soul, and am more than happy to do a double tap on someone, then peel out on the remains. This has nothing to do with your story sister l, well maybe. - -I trust my gut on things. My gut says you deserve kindness and respect as all beings do. Be well fellow traveler, know that life is not all hardship and ruin. Sometimes we get into a rhythm that creates more of the same terrible things. Know that it is not you. I hope your rhythm changes for the better and that good things happen to you. Do your best and give yourself grace to grow. Fair thee well, wherever you choose to fair." -"Is this the same ex whom you mentioned in a post just 19 days ago about how you're utterly in love with him and how he protects you and how you're trying for a baby? Not even a roast, I would really like to know for certain" -Not the purpose of this sub. Not going to do it. Get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day -Honestly I would always choose my family over some girl who used to be an escort. 💀 -No. -"You need love, I’m sorry. Positive vibes in your direction." -"Nah, take care of yourself THEN come back for roasting" -"Dump the Vodka in a Sink, Grab a shower and drink some water. It sucks now and you're not in a place to get roasted kiddo, it gets better, keep your chin up and Godspeed." -Damn this sub is wholesome af -AlL ThE PAIn iN My HeaRT -Sort your shit out then we will roast you -The biggest roast of all is the sub not roasting because her life is that shit -Don't down the vodka. Get some sleep and start a fresh tomorrow. -Please seek help with a therapist or support group for survivors. You aren’t alone and there is help out there. -"You're only 20. Take care of yourself, don't worry about other people. You can't love someone else until you can love yourself first!" -"With a name like piñata colada bark bag, it’s easy to find yourself at the end of a long day in a dark place. It does get better people do heal and you can choose to be one of them." -You probably need to watch some cat videos -"Yeah she's from Portland alright. Also, ""used to be""? 🤔" -Can I just give you a hug instead? -"Make one good decision a day, and by the time you’re 30, you’ll be loving life." -you will make it -"Its hard to know the full story of all this.  Childhood trauma, yeah that sucks a lot and I can believe it.  But being an escort?  You chose that.  I hope you can move past it all but to a certain extent youve gotta accept that your choice to be an escort has damaged you.  And now youre talking about downing vodka.  Youre messing up your life, body and mind.  Youve got physical beauty mixed with wear and tear and a little premature aging.  You can make better lifestyle choices and improve your health but its gonna take you admitting that you partly did this to yourself.  Promiscuity and alcohol comes at a heavy cost, physically mentally and emotionally.  But you can be different.  Good luck. - - -There are healthier ways to cope.  I can give you valuable information and coping strategies.  Let me know if you want them." -"Nope, you’ve endured enough abuse. I hope you can find a way out of your current situation and turn things around. You matter." -"Why do this ? - -Just seen your other pictures. You look great. - -Hope you sort yourself out. Coming on here won’t help at all." -I wish you all the love in the world. -"Nope. You need to lift yourself up, not to look for people to put you down. You're worth it and you should keep moving forward and up. Don't look back and measure yourself on life's cheap moments. If you need to talk, I recommend seeking a therapist. If you just need an ear, find someone you trust or I don't mind being a neutral stranger if that's what you need. The bottom of a bottle is only where you find more problems." -"Put down the bottle, get off Reddit, and seek help. For real." -Please get help. -Seek a therapist -Nope -"You are VERY young and have possibilities upon possibilities ahead of you in life. - -I am very sorry that you had to go through shit, but it doesn't have to define you. - -I guess you do already but stick to getting professional help. You'll get out of this mess. - -I wish you all the best in life." -"You have only lived a fraction of your life. Talk to a therapist, it will help" -"I tried to roast u but had to delete when someone told me roast was over and I read the comments. Yeah u don't need to be toasted. U need to talk to someone, stay away from toxic guys, vodka will only make things fucking worse. Try to smile at least once a day. Fuck the past, make you're future awesome" -I…I don’t want too do this to her -First escort to actually escort -Vince McMahon Mahon has a job for you -You do not need to be roasted god has allready done that. May I suggest sobriety celibacy and therapy -Just curious what do you mean you used to be an escort? -You’re obviously not fine please find someone who can treat you well and find professional help -"Came in here worried that roasters would take the opportunity to kick someone when they were down. Glad the community has some heart. - -Keep your head up, OP." -"Damn, I feel that so deeply. Having no positive reinforcement at all really hurts ones development, id know. I Hope you have a support group, one that cares about you and would save, help and build you up. Being on the Precipice of the abyss is pure pain. It's a scary place to be Peering in but it feels like an escape from this cruel world. I don't have anyone to save me anymore, so eventually I'm gonna leave this world. So I hope to God that things work out for you." -"You don't need a roast, you need compassion, a hug and some help getting yourself back up on your feet! - -Dust yourself off, get back out there and show the world how strong, beautiful and powerful you are as a person!! - -I hope you can rebuild yourself, find your inner peace and I hope that life gives you every good thing it has to offer from this point on!!" -A lotta upside in that pic. Smile -"I want to roast but I know it ain’t right, seek therapy or seek friendships…best of luck OP." -"Escort? A Ford Escort? - -Get well soon." -"You are a worthy, beautiful, valuable princess whose past doesn’t have to define her👑. Chin up sweet girl! 🙌🏼💃🏻🫶🏼❤️🥰" -"You don't need a roast. You need a hug. Here's a virtual one. - -I hope things pick up for you soon. You're never as alone as you think you are!" -aw wait this is actually so sad. your so beautiful -You need a reason to down vodka? -"Fellas, we can fix her" -"I don’t need to give you a reason dummy, vodka just tastes good. Once you’re done downing it, maybe as like a funny drunk joke you can look up a reasonably priced therapist and go talk to them about your problems. Nothing you’ve gone through is something you can’t come back from. Hang in there, dude" -Was the escort service you worked at called wish.com or alibaba? Cause there’s no way I’d pay money to have my escort come out of my television and say I got seven days to live. -Are people seriously downvoting roasts in a roast sub… -"OP, please be kind to yourself. Seek your best friends or family members and just hang out with them for as long as you can - you really need to get back to yourself and start enjoying life. Things have been rough for you, I get that, but you'll be OK. Just breathe and let go..." -"Hell no. You should not be in this sub. - -Put the Vodka away and start tomorrow clear headed and ready to start the journey of recovery. You have had a shitty hand so far and you can get better, get all your mental health, self esteem and general health in order. Then maybe come back and have at it. - -This sub is to knock down smug arseholes and asshats, not true victims of real shit." -I can’t. I have and did the same things as you. Mental health issues. Escort. It sucks. I’m sorry. -Bro looks like Wednesday’s useless autistic step cousin -"No, I won't do that. Get some rest, take some time to gather yourself, and go on strong." -You are not ready for this. Please find some help and build back your life queen 👑 -"Damn, that look in your eyes. I don't normally do this but I can't say anything mean to you. Hope things get better soon. Also, maybe watch it with the booze. It'll only make you feel worse." -"You've got enough reasons to drink, you don't need reddit to mentally whip you. -Go be a nun or something. You've got a face for it" -shit u look 12 -I honestly don't understand why people this fragile want to be roasted when they know they can't handle it. -Looks like you were so devoid of any real personality you turned to being goth so someone might find you interesting. -Get therapy if you want to live a happy and healthy life with healthy relationships -"Nah mate, you’re good. Take some time and look after yourself please. Peace and blessings" -"Comes to roast sub for pity. That’s enough of a roast itself, everyone lost their balls here" -"I hope everything gets better for you, im really sorry that you're in this situation. ❤️" -I can fix her -"I hope things will get better for you and never lose hope. More power to you, girl!" -"bro u are way too young to ve dealt with that much bs, just go to bed and sleep" -I love u -"Put down that bottle. It only contains more misery. I drank for years and years and never once it did it take the pain away. It just dulled the pain until I stopped. Then it came back stronger. You cannot change your past, only your future. I highly suggest getting help for your mental health. Your self image and self worth are things you can only give yourself and therapy is a great place to learn how to give them to yourself. If you ever need help/advice about mental health issues, addiction, and overcoming your own past, message me. I'm almost 32 and have only recently come to like myself and set the addictions down. I have a few severe mental health issues and can def give advice on that or a listening ear. Best of luck!" -You're the girl crawling out the TV in the Latvian remake of The Ring -Stop being an emo and go take care of urself and do something useful -"There's a woman and people are saying they won't roast and infact helping her heal. - -Had it been a guy posting with the same story, all you f*ckers would have made his life upside down." -Lemme tell you something. I used alcohol in situations such as these and it’s never been the answer. Not makes it worse. After all it is a depresssnt. Just smoke a blunt with outside play with your pets and in about a month you’ll see how everything is ok -Don’t do it there’s someone out there who will help you ease your pain don’t give up it’s not worth it -"Vodka is not the answer unfortunately.  - -Focus on yourself if possible dear. Try to live in the now & how only you want to. I think therapy would be great for you to process the past if you can. " -"Believe you are worth more than your past and more than what your ex might have told you - -Believe in yourself and accept love when a nice guy comes around and chooses to be by your side. Allow him to love you and love him back, don’t sabotage it. - -Life can be good for you as well. What matters is the future and how you decide to tackle it, not the past. - -I have a story for you, if you are interested… you deserve happiness and love, but they come with conditions. Drop alcohol and take active care of your mental health. No one else can take you out of the spiral if you don’t want to" -"Wow... The positivity.. on the internet.. I am not used to it. It's amazing! - -OP, everyone is right. 20 feels old but there is sooooo much time left for things to get better. Manifest whatever destiny you believe would make you the happiest. Think about what makes you happy. Animals? Math? Art? Space? - -Pick something you love and focus on it from the ground level. Life is about bite sized pieces of spectacular and huge puzzles. If you start doing the puzzle and realize you don't necessarily love it, then you just course correct. -Go to a different table. -Start a new puzzle. -You will find the one that feels perfect, even if it takes until you're 40." -I'd wanna be friends with you. Feel free to msg if you need a person to chat with -Is like movie 8 mile when eminem rips on himself! -Everyone white nighting instead of roasting...... -lol downvoting the roasts. This subs fucking gone man. -People paying you to leave the room doesn’t make you an escort -"Everything is ok. Even when it’s not. - -As -Mac Miller sings: Don’t you put anymore stress on yourself, it’s one day at a time." -"The only roast you’ll get from me is a good dinner and a cup of tea. Wipe your tears darling, tomorrow is a new day." -white knights all up in this bitch. -So the exorcist was real! -Nothing screams professional victim more than that bullshit runny makeup photo. -Seek therapy 🙏🏼🙏🏼 -"You got this! You are young and learning how to take care of yourself is hard! - -I got out of rehab in 2022 and since then I found a great job that I love and I just bought my own house! Dreams do come true if you focus on them! You can achieve the same and I know you will! -hang in there my friend! We love you - -EAT FOOD, DRINK WATER and LEVEL UP! - -Edit: add lil inspiration" -Best “roast” ever. -You are loved.  -"You matter. Take care of yourself, and maybe some time later, we can roast you. - -But for now, take care of yourself." -"Trauma early on in life stinks but the good things is you are still very young and teeming with potential. I almost wrecked my marriage and my health in my 20s because I didn’t seek help early on when problems manifested. Learn from me and remember not to use your sorrows as a crutch. Life is full of tragedies and it’s best not to let them own you. That’s not to say having feelings is wrong or invalid, just learn how to (or how not to) react to those feeling <3" -"I think you just gave yourself all the reasons you need to drink.. hopefully you won't be 30 somthing before you pull your head out of your ass, but judging by your greasy hair that day has yet to come .. still there is hope .. pretty enough to bang skanky enough to hide .. but seriously,20 is too young to think things won't change .I will say you are pretty and too young to have low self esteem .. sounds like u might have dodged a bullet as far as your x is concerned .. your op was as emo as it gets tho .. I was unsure on whether to roast you or recommend Zoloft or Lexapro .." -Nah. Have an internet hug instead. Take care of yourself. -Girl you hang in. You’re gonna make it. -How much did you charge? -"This isn't exactly what you asked for, but I've found it helpful, so I'm sharing. Hope you find it helpful too! https://www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy" -You are loved -Natalia Grace? -"You deserve to be loved. I’m sorry that you have been though hell. Don’t give up. Keep going. People love you. You are loved. Wether you believe in Jesus or you don’t, He loves you." -Escort for blind men? Uffa you asked for it. -"You have a very ‘blow a load on my face’ thing going. - -That being said I hope you’re able to sort out and cope with your traumas, that sounds rough. - -Good luck, kick butt!" -"hey wanna know something funny? i'm 20 and currently going through the process of what happens when you survive ""downing the vodka."" - - -just don't do it there's a lot that happens in your head after you do. i took 9mg clonidine and however much liquor i could stomach. some time later i realize i don't want it to happen and i got my ass to the hospital the rest is a blur but i got shocked then stabbed with all kinds of needles. reality check from a security guard because i started being a dick after the fact" -It’s okay we’ve all been there you’re just dumb -What is up with the emotional baggage under your eyes? -"So, at what point did you decide to become a whore? - -Edit: posted this question twice by mistake. My bad. I'm not creepin. It was an accident." -"I can not in good conscience, roast someone who has so much pain and trauma at such a young age. - -You are a victim. You are a human. You are loved. - -I appreciate that you are now finally seeking help, but please remember... you can not skip to the end. Be patient with yourself. You got this!!" -PDX Loves You! 🫶🏼 -You look 12 and that's all I can say -"""used to be"" that was written so loud" -And you thought to your self I haven’t suffered enough let’s make my mental health worse by asking strangers on social media to lambaste me. -"Forget your past, pick yourself up off the floor, and get on with life. You look gorgeous, now act gorgeous. Forget the shitty people in your life. You don't need them. Be what you want to be starting today." -"Hey, I have a seventeen year old niece with problems. Can I just say she means so much to my family. I hope you realise that a lot of problems when you're young are short term. Stay positive and you'll get through these hardships. There is nothing wrong with you and you are just finding yourself. Late 20's and early 30's will create different problems but can be overcome by determination. Best of luck" -To be honest a man choosing his family over a woman is principles I can admire. Respect -Used to be? When did you retire? 15 mins before this pic when you deep-throated that mascara down? -wait if i’m being honest i can’t really roast you you’re like super pretty. also your eyes are really pretty shape and colour -"Ex Boyfriends weak af who would give up a hypersexualized girl who went through all the trauma you have, girls like that are freaks in the sheets. - -The sympathy farming on this sub is pathetic and you people in the comments disgust me just as much as" -"you dont need a roast, you need therapie" -"Shouldn't have to choose between family and gf, so screw those people anyway, and your ex. Escort thing - don't let it define you, but equally why be ashamed (assuming you are)? Self esteem is low among the intelligent, and high amongst the dumb. Get some proper medical care for your MH and be proud to be yourself." -"I don't want to roast you, I want to cook you a meal and give you a big hug you poor thing" -"Sorry but you've used up all your quota of negative shit, therefore you are not allowed to get roasted. It's all uphill from here" -Women will do everything under the sun except better themselves lmao -"You got paid in curly fries. - - - - -Keep your head up. Take things one day at a time. Prioritise you and your health, happiness will follow. Very cliché but it's true. And I believe you can do it." -"I really don't think that you should be here rn. I wouldn't feel well with assuming you now so please come back if you get better. And keep you're head up ""In the darkest black of a day, there will always appear a gradually brightening light at the end of a tunnel."" I translated the last sentence with chatgpt I hope he did it right" -"Listen, my dear friend, I am a therapist and a licensed education psychologist. I can tell you right now, the look in your eyes, the tone in your voice and reaches deep into our hearts here. Look at all these people who would normally carry the pieces just for fun see your pain and hear your sorrow, it just shows the depth of who they are.listen to what they have to say they are sharing with you their struggles they hope. And I can tell you from my own hopes and struggles there is a brighter path ahead. -I use a coaching model which is very beneficial and we would just look at the blocks in your way to be coming all that you want to be. If you’re interested at all, just respond to this comment and I will give you contact information. Hang in there there’s beautiful brown eyes waiting to see beauty again - - -By the way, I’ve seen these guys turn some pretty nasty coats sun guys, but they feel you which says a lot about them too. Thanks guys I think I just loved this Reddit but I’ll never let you roast me that would be too easy ha ha." -"I read this lovely girl's heartbreaking caption and recoiled at the fact she was posting on this sub. Dreaded the potential comments that could be here...clicked on the comment section with huge hesitancy and wanting to jump in and give her some well needed love, however I'm utterly blown away at the pouring of love and sensibility and compassion yall showing her. To know how many are sensible and sensitive enough of knowing there's a time and place for roasts or jokes etc etc...and when someone needs some humanity and some warmth instead. - -OP, I wish you nothing but love and kindness toward yourself going forward n your young life that's only just beginning. If ever you need a reminder to be compassionate to yourself, just see how many strangers have bypassed the usual nature of this sub for you. You're important and life will heal over" -The day the roast died -Y’all suck at roasting. -"tf were you escorting, vodka down the throat?" -"You look exactly like an old friends boomer mom at twenty. She tried to tough it out as a single mom, had too many uncles over, my friend suffered just as you did, and as a result of of a deadbeat drunk baby daddy and omg, old stories wash over you sometimes. - -Go ahead and get to a crisis center before you touch that bottle. Rehab can't come soon enough, if only as a pre-emptive measure. The resources alone are priceless. It ain't no crime to enter temporary assisted living while straightening things out. - -Do it for that baby in your past, before the baby in your future." -"I would usually post a scathing dig about blow up dolls or something here, but I have to say...you've got a whole hell of a lot more time left before deciding to bury yourself in a liquor bottle...you're literally a kid...enjoy everything you can, while you can...because it goes so fast you'll even miss some of the bad shit you eventually realize wasn't all that bad after all...plenty of time to fuck life in the face and win if you're only 20 years old...keep your head up...meaning like your actual head, not meaning like keep consistently blowing people" -Wait.. people actually paid to have sex with you? -"You're so young. Get a good therapist and work through what you cant Legally medicate what you need help with. And realize you aren't damaged goods, you deserve love, and have plenty of time for a great life. It will be hard work though! Good luck and try to hang with people who can improve your life." -Ummm yeah. Not today. Not roasting. You’re very young. You have a full life ahead of you. I hope things get better in your life. -"Hang in there! You're gonna look back at these times at 30 and think, shit, I made it!" -"I couldn't possibly roast you. Chin up, things will get better" -"You are pretty, and have alot of potential. Don't let the past control your life." -I want to see the reaction of this sub to a man posting this... -"Doesn’t the description day “a little bit” about yourself? Gee wiz. Did your child trauma get in the way of your reading log? It definitely got in the way of your punctuation homework. - -Anyways, buck up chum, tomorrow is a new day and a new you. You’re young and you got time to work through anything you need to so long as you try! You got this!" -Sorry kiddo. Go get help. -No roast thats terrible I hope your doing ok and wish you the best -man these comments made me tear up😭🫶🏽 u guys are being so sweet -Who the fuck let Courtney Love back on reddit?! -You look like Juno and the girl from the ring mixed together 😂 -What happened to your chin? Did it run away from you like he did? -"Nah, don't do that. Sounds like you've had a truly fucked up go of it. I'm sorry for that. Best revenge is success. Go get yourself in some classes. You're super young still. Let your mind grow and grab some power for yourself. As far as your self-esteem, and I say this with all due respect, you're beautiful. It's not the most important thing, of course, but don't deny that part of your power either. You have a lot going for you, just in the fact that you're young and beautiful. You have a lot of crazy experiences, too, so you can use that as a source of power for yourself. Lots of reasons to stay in the fight, my G. Don't give up." -"You are still very young and on time to change the direction of your life. I know it won't be easy, but, if want to be better, you can be better. Please remember, sometime it's not about huge steps to see positive change, starting small is also good in can work on slowly changing our perspective. - -I hope you don't down the vodka road and I hope you can find strength and know this isn't the end of the road. - -Big hug to you and have a good day." -This one ain’t it chief. -"The bottle is not the solution, trust me. Take a shower, get some food then sleep, being roasted isn't exactly something you need at the moment, come back when you feel better." -who the fuck went through all these and downvoted the lower rated support comments  -Comment section definitely did wat iwas hoping before checkin the comments…get up & stay positive chick 🐥 Happy Easter -This is not the sub you’re looking for. -"Get off Reddit, go see a therapist. Real talk." -"I can’t even imagine what you have been through, but hang in there. Tomorrow brings new beginnings, find a therapist that you can talk to. - -Don’t wash your life away with alcohol, it will only cause you more pain and misery. - -I know this isn’t much coming from a stranger on the internet, but know that there is always someone who cares about you, love yourself. - -Don’t throw your life away, as you still got a lot of time left to make things right with your life, hell, in 10 years you will probably look back on this and laugh about this. - -Wishing you the best, hopefully you can find peace and happiness in your life." -"You know, you are a beautiful soul, if you need a roasting, all you'll get is to sunbathe a lil, the sun will make you warmer and maybe even a slight happier. - -Escort is a job, nothing more, if it made you survive, then it's just a thing to do to eat and have clothes on their back, good of you to earn your own money. - -Now your ex lost out, forget hex, move forward, become the best you, you're 20, you have a lot of life left, get an income you can be prouder off. If you need to escort to get there, then do so, it is not a life description, but an income. - -Get yourself into a school, a working-place you are happy with, if you need to make subways sandwiches, do it, being happy with who you are, and where you are going is the most important thing in life. - -If you get yourself to a college, they will have therapy to help with the trauma, and the thing is, surviving trauma, will make you have huge wounds yes, but you survived trauma, so it made you stronger. And knowing you can do it one time, will help you in future to survive other trauma, other surprises, so don't give up. You are hella awesome - - -You are beautiful, you are strong, you are smart, you are sparkling, you are a miracle, you are worth it, you are valuable, you have value. - - -Really, no one can take away from who you already are, a really awesome young lady - -And vodka is more of a small shots here and there, in a drink, as a way to relax good, but as a way to stay standing, it's not good. Maybe a plushie is more your speed. - - -You need more soft, fluffy and warm in life - - -*hands plushie* - - -hang in there, life can try to be mean, but we can always get back up to show life middle-finger and become much much better - - -<3 You are lovely - -Causey <3" -"You got this! Being an alcoholic is hell on earth. You’ll be worse off than all of the childhood trauma you’ve ever had. You are young, and things will turn around I promise." -"You’re very pretty. You just need to find the strength within yourself. The universe is a hologram, and every small piece of the hologram contains the entirety. This means that you have everything within you that you need to find your strength. - -You’re capable of being much more than you think you are. You are worthy of love, compassion, and abundance. You just need to find it within yourself." -"Your post is heartbreaking and I'm so sorry that you're going through Hell, buddy. - -I'm really happy to see that there are so many people opting to not roast you but share sympathy, love, advice & kindness with you, people really need it. I hope you all keep being decent human beings." -Kinda look like the girl getting possessed in the video in talk to me -You went to your doctor and he said you’re fat! You said I want a second opinion. He said you’re ugly too! -Just crawl back into the tv screen where you belong. -I’m just going to say this: no one likes an escort who cries on the job. That’s my job. -You could always resort to only fans. People pay big money for ugly chicks. -"Goddamn with a story like that skip the vodka and go straight to the good shit, at least everyone’s expectations of you are so low there not a chance you could disappoint anyone" -Y’all some pussies -"He chose his FAMILY over you? Someone who used to be a stranger? -… -Shocker… -…" -"“My ex chose his family over me…” - -Was he not supposed to?" -Wife material! -"Escorts are high class, you’re a former hooker or prostitute. Don’t get it twisted." -"Ah look kid, you'll get better and life will get better. The journey will suck. But if you try it'll be worth it in the end." -how are you so far past your prime at 20 -"Best. Motherfucking. Thread. In. The. History. Of. Reddit. Fuck….im a full grown man with tears in my eyes. This is incredible. You dumb assholes amaze me every once in a while. This is fucking impressive. - -Wow. - -Darlin, Find a friend. Talk to somebody. You’re loved. And what you’re reading here I hope speaks to you. Some hit rock bottom. Some people’s bottom can be deeper than others. But once you hit it there is nowhere to go but up. You are worthy. And you’re special. Chin up and one foot in front of the other. 🤗" -You mean he chose his family over a 20 yo retired tree fiddy hooker? What the hell is wrong with that guy? -So u asked your bf to choose between you and his family..u are dumb af what did u expect -"I mean, choosing family over an SO is a pretty big ultimatum. I’d probably choose family, too." -"You are a lovely person who is deserving of happiness and peace. I don’t say that because of looks but because everyone deserves peace and happiness. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still here. So, that shows there isn’t anything life can throw at you that you can’t survive. You’re strong and brave! You have a courageous heart! - -Put down the booze, and seek out to counseling and therapy. Answers and contentment won’t be found at the bottom of a bottle. - -Sincerely, - -This Canadian Internet Stranger" -The Bride of Chucky -Stay positive! (Not hiv positive) -"Lemme fix a few things -20 F rich parents, loving family, only here to feed metal issues of wanting people to feel bad for you." -Not sure sucking guys off for a bag of meth quite warrants being called an escort -Used to be an escort that couldn’t get any business. Even your pimp dumped you. Literally the only escort in the world that would have a higher likelihood of catching a STD off of a toilet seat instead of a dick. At least a toilet seat could stay hard near your ass -"Guys, you can stop shmoozing up to her. She said she *used* to be an escort. Put your dollars away." -An escort? I'd ask for security to escort you away from me. -onwards and upwards. you got this. -"User name checks out. If you’re serious, sounds like you don’t need a reason. But maybe don’t down it, put it down. Get help." -I know the purpose of this sub but nah I won't -"Your life's not over. If you try, you can make it all the way to the bottom. Don't give up." -"Nope, not gonna do it. Have a coke and a smile…" -No way. Absolutely not. You are better than you think! Throw away the vodka and take positive steps. Good luck! -You’re better than you think you are! -You’re 20 lol take a breath. Whatever is going on will seem like small rough patch in a few years. -"You are gorgeous, have your whole life in front of you, and you are more than worthy of the best things in life ❤️don't ever give up!" -"Not to minimize your trauma, but most of us have some or a lot. Pick yourself up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’re young and beautiful. You can do it!!! Good luck OP. 💪💪" -"Nah, even I have lines I won't cross and this is it." -"Not happening, you need a hug, a friend or someone to listen. Whatever is making you hurt will go away, things always get better. Dm any time for positivity. Get help and get life back on track, you can do this! Support is always here." -"All I have to say is your enough ," -I don’t even want to roast you. You need to get help. -You are always loved by someone ✨ -"The internet can be a brutal place, especially this sub. -Look at all the nice comments everyone has left. Your beautiful, inside and out. All you need is a little love and care. -We can see that a hug and some kind words are whats needed. Someone will love you for who you are. We have all been through things and heartbreak, you are worth love, and you will find it" -"You've been through some things that most people will never go through. But you're still here. And that's what matters. Put the vodka down. If you've been down, it means there's only one direction to go from here, and that's up. - -Whatever your goals are, I believe you can find a way to achieve them. And I believe that even though right now you're not able to see it, someday you'll have that self esteem, and you'll look back and be glad that you put down the bottle." -You’re beautiful everything is gonna be okay. Romans 8:18 -Please get help. I’ve been there. I’ve been down in the dirt once when I thought my life was over. It gets better. I promise. It may involve you going somewhere else in the world to do it to start over. It’s what I had to do and my life got better. Make a new name for yourself. Please find a way out of that situation. -"You’re loved! Keep your head up, brighter days ahead love!" -Send it again when you fell great and from a good place .. and believe me we have alot to roast but not like this… get up girl and kick this shit. -"You won't find what you're looking for, whether it be a bottle, a canister, or a glass. You need to look inwards. Love you friend :)" -We're all fucked up from childhood trauma. You might be more mature than a lot of us who pretend like we're not and refuse to talk about it. You're at least through the hardest part which is accepting and acknowledging you e got a problem. It took me a long time that self worth comes from within not from other people's validation (I still struggle accepting it though). -"Bravo redditors, humanity 🤌🏼" -"There’s no way I can roast you. This is just sad and extremely depressing. Sorry for what you’ve been through, but please attempt to pick yourself back up. You’re only 20!! Your life hasn’t even begun just yet. I mean, you’re still just a kid for fuck sakes!!! Bless your heart babygirl.. ❤️🙏🏼" -We can roast you in a few years once you’ve turned things around. -"You’re beautiful and young! Stop being sorry about yourself live and enjoy life! Hope you get out from the spiral and that you actually make a nice life for yourself! And do not feel sorry about the past, also being an escort or not doesn’t mean a thing. I know and met many people that make a living out of this and they enjoy it and it is their choice (no one forced them) one must do what must be done no turning back. You can look at your future and make it even better! Oh and fu*k your ex there’s millions out there! Now drink your vodka and cheers to a better future ♥️" -Imagine how your life would be if you actually had some self-respect. -HOW DARE YOUR EX CHOOSE HIS FAMILY OVER YOU ITS NOT LIKE HE KNEW THEM AND LOVED THEM FOR LONGER THAN YOU ha cry womp womp -"""escort"" How many actual ""dates"" have you been taken on? - -Just say ""Sex worker""" -If you broke up with your ex then you are a dick bro -why would your ex NOT his family over you? that doesn't make any sense. No sensible child would ditch their family. -Escort as in someone paid you not to have sex with you once you got there? -damn 20f AND used to be an escort? bruh you fucked up already at such a young age lmao -"I definitely have something to say. Going into “roast me” and telling everyone that you’re going to drink vodka if their roasts are strong enough, that’s some little bitch shit right there. You’re 20, you can handle it. Stop using vodka as a crutch. And some gum get that jawline going - -People should always choose family over a significant other. It is FAMILY. you serious? - -You gotta get it together" -Only Fanza -"Listen to ""Loser, Baby"" from Hazbin hotel and that's my message to you" -how much would you pay me to be with you? -"Sorry, but some poorly removed eyliner and messy hair isn't gonna get you roasted here." -"Awe honey, you’re beautiful. Besides, I don’t think anyone would pay for an ugly escort 😉" -I thought you was going to hand me a red balloon -Can’t roast a dumpster fire -Hard to roast someone who isn’t going to make it to the end of the day. -"Just by looking at you, I can tell you get told to shut the fuck up a lot." -Fuckin put your big girl boots on and start sucking Dick for money. -"If you want to talk about CPTSD and resultant comorbid issues such as BPD, dm me. I understand and think I can help." -You’re soiled so you’ll never be first choice for any man that have self respect -"Eh boy, this is getting pathetic" -"Girl, you don't need to be roasted. You need a damn hug. Try to find yourself in these dark times and don't let people be the reason you live. Make your world be for you not for others." -"Go back to be an escort. - -Escort your shitty ex, your self loathing and the vodka the fuck out of your life." -"You weren't an ""escort"" they're called prostitutes. Don't give yourself value you don't deserve." -"Failed escort, bullshit trauma like your mom yelling at you, mental issues self diagnosed, and a family man that did not choose a whore over his family. Probably the other side to your sob story." -Clown escort at your service. -Consider making better decisions -Date within your bracket next time -if this was a guy the majority of this sub would be lynching at him. -Please use birth control. -If you order an escort from Temu -wensday fell out a train same time gomez left -Your ex is obviously trash and is missing out on someone absolutely gorgeous. You're stunning. Don't let the hate bring you down. Things can get better. Past life choices and experiences don't have to dictate your future. You can get thru your battles and come out shining -"Supposedly 20, has eyebrows (or possibly doesn't) from 1996. Probably also has a bush from the 90s which certainly is a key to success as an escort. - -Don't worry because the next herpes and/or genital warts outbreak is right around the stress-related corner." -You should have been swallowed -comment -"What’s that color called, Daddy’s Red Flag?" -It’s probably impolite to mention you at family gatherings. -Didn't I beat up like 50 carbon copies of you in the Streets of Rage games for Sega Genesis? -"I guess you were right, it wasn’t a phase" -you look like you smoke alcohol -"Oh look, Pink got addicted to snorting Ajax" -"""Just turned 31. Show me what you got"" - -I've got a job. - -We're done here." -if P!nk smoked jaguar piss -You look like you flick your bean watching Schindler’s List. -Weren't you in Mad Max -Pretends to be gay. Actually likes dick -You look like a cyberpunk npc -You get your own planned parenthood protests following you around because you make others not want to have kids. -"I have never seen someone who tries harder to act like they don't care what people think of them. You have essentially made yourself into a walking billboard that says I crave attention, but I don't know how to get it in a healthy way. I'm sorry your dad was not around enough, but let's tone it down just a little" -"I hate to use the word poser in 2024, but Jesus Christ, buddy." -"You look like you either live in a tent city in Portland or greatly aspire to live in one. - -Peaked…." -You look like you're in your 40s trying to cling to youth -31 in dog years -I’m so proud that your form of birth control is body odor -You look like you chew foil. And your car has rust and manual windows. And your bathroom smells like cigarettes. Wizard sleeves. -"You look like your diet consists of meth, cigarettes, and your Johns' jizz." -You look like a used tampon -What's with the fucking nose ring chain bro? What are you trying to look like? A fucking gate? -I think I need a hepatitis vaccine just from looking at this -"You look like your first words after losing your virginity was ""get off of me, dad, you're crushing my smokes""" -You look like the type that bottle your queefs for future enjoyment. -"“Just turned 31” and already shit canned from a dozen jobs due to being “offended” by men, flags, religious affiliations and “lack of LGBQT diversity” and company policy of showering at least once a week." -It’s like someone put makeup on an empty can of beer with a half smoked cigarette in it and left it out in the sun for a few days. -"If ""non-binary poly vegan"" was a person" -First transitioning punk rooster I’ve ever seen. Now we have to add WTF to the LGBTQ+ acronym. -"If there were any more potholes on your skin, you would have to carry a detour sign" -Pinks sister Stink -31 years or 31 mental illnesses? -"You look like Marge Simpson when Homer had the makeup gun set on “Whore”… Jesus fuck, do you put your foundation on with a spatula?!?!" -Wow. This dude needs a lot of attention -You look like you make NyQuil cocktails -I can smell the mental illness from these pics. -You look like a raider from fallout decided to start an onlyfans to support her bath salts habit -Seems that Costco hotdogs aren’t the only thing made out of lips and assholes that only costs $1.50. -"At least time keeps fucking you, right?" -"I picture you wearing lose mom jeans that show your crack by a half an inch, with a stained wife beater on. A cigarette tucked in your ear and a lit one your mouth while you're carrying two giant bags of dog food over each shoulder and load them into your rusted pickup truck dragging a trailer that isn't properly hitched and is carrying an old dented washer and dryer set with a ""free"" sign still attached that also aren't properly strapped down." -You look like the aftermath of an orgy at the Gathering of the Juggalos -Now I know what you get when you combine multiple hardcore drugs with inbreeding. -You remind me of the Siren from Borderlands in the sense that I want to strand you in the middle of a wasteland with no hope of return. -"When you smile, it looks like your teeth are in a race" -How many mosh pits have you hosted in your vagina? -"This smells like cigarettes, body odor and bad breath.... with a hint of tuna." -The sight of you both makes my Dick itch and makes me thankful for my wife. -What an angry looking rooster -You look like you give your opinion at family gatherings when no one wants it. -Well arnt you just unique like all the other black makeup wearing chick's that look like they slam their face into a tacklebox with all the shit hanging off them. -31 ? ...grow the fuck up -Even goodwill won't take you -Nip or tuck? -I think my penis just crawled up into my stomach. -Emo Ronald McDonald vibes -You look like you sacrifice small animals as well as your self respect. -Gnarly Quinn -Good thing you’ve got that nose chain holding your shit together after all that coke you’ve probably snorted -"Kinda hot in a smelly and stinky, flea bitten way. I can smell the hard boiled egg and cigarette ash on your breath; and the, “I don’t care if I half wiped my butt, it’s anarchy down there anyway.”" -You know what I have? A job. -"If you aren't the captain of a roller derby team, I would be flabbergasted." -You look like the type of girl who rolls her own tampons and kick starts her vibrator. -You don’t look a day under 45 -If Hep C was a person. -"Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock called, they do NOT want you back." -When you just lack the elegance & fashion sense required to be a Juggalette -companies add you to their games on pride month -Do you brush your hair with a dildo? -You don’t look a day over gender reassignment -Your red hair is a little redundant: you’re already a bright red flag -I'm assuming you broke out of jail and no one even tried to stop you. -"Penis chopping lesbian, I’m not sure if that’s a roast." -"Your best pic was when you weren't trying, unfortunately, you're giving off vibes as if trying is all you do. Life was rough" -You could be the face of a pro-abortion campaign. -Nice! Goatwhore. Saw them in Chicago. Amazing band -Don’t show us the extra “leg” you got -Custom character creator set to random generate -Cool you finished your transition -Just use the bathroom labeled WTF. And would you mind leaving via the window? -"Skin of a tortoise, body of an 11 year old boy." -"Once, a friend used their beer can as an ashtray during a party and I took a sip of it by mistake. Looking at you brought back that memory from the very back of my head, I can taste the exact same thing just by looking at your pictures…" -Just turned 31 lesbians straight -"I have nothing, but you have meth." -You’re a woman?? Wow. Were you always one? -IT’s MAM!!!!! -"Christ almighty, take all that shit out of your face and grow up already." -Finally the product of a human and a goat. That’s wonderful that you followed your mom’s footsteps by becoming the goat whore and wearing it proud -They/them? -"Can't tell if you used to be a man.... - -Or if you used to be a woman - - -Not that it matters at all because you look crazy and I stick my dick in crazy. Just not -... - - -Gestures at you - - - - - -.. - - -That crazy" -"There is a thing in D&D, where people suck ass at making a character that is in any way narratively interesting, so they rely on visuals as a crutch. Being a half tiefling half angel with neon purple skin and crimson eyes and the horns are park angel wings and the personality of a baked potato. - -Anyway, you certainly are visually interesting." -No-one that lets their pet caterpillar sleep on their nose can be all bad. -Your cover-up tattoo looks like it completely missed the part you were trying to cover up. But this should line up with your history of making consecutive bad decisions. -Hellraiser called. Pinhead wants his daughter back. -Gross -"With a face like that, a blowjob would be considered anal" -"You look like Wendy’s Restaurant's distant cousin, Wanda’s Slaughterhouse" -Has the best shares in the AA meetings. -"This is such a bad look on someone in their 30s. Grow up, you just look pathetic." -I want to smell you but I don't want to smell you -31 in corpse years -"Pink’s cousin, Brown" -DUDE chill. -I didn’t think the guy from Danzig was still alive? 🦹🏻‍♂️ -"So hardcore goth, she (?) took an ice pick to her own face!" -You watched Arcane once and made Vi your whole entire personality. -"Your asshole is a mosh pit, what's the most dicks you've ever had in the pit?" -What am I looking at here? -"When they chopped off your hog, did they see any disease starting? Like wow 30 and all that damage on so many levels" -You put the cock in cock-a-doodle-doo. -When you dress like that. People will think you are a girl. -Thought it was a dog pecker at first glance -"You look like an Angry Bird - -Instead of saying “NYAA-HINGA-AH!” When getting launched, you say “GANG-GREENA!”" -I know a full on mid-life I’m-going-to-whore-myself-out crisis when I see one. -"Pink if she did meth, cocaine, fentanyl, LSD, and ecstasy." -Shouldn’t you be high out of your mind attacking a caravan somewhere in the wasteland? -You look like you enjoy sharing your UTI with the world -"Calm down, sir! You are scaring the children!" -50 going on 12. -"Fucking hell you’re genuinely un-roastable. -It’s impossible to sink any lower." -You look like if a worn out gamer chair was turned into a person. -"Wow, it’s like you’re trying to combine three different styles and missed the mark on all of them. Your wardrobe looks like it was designed by a committee that gave up halfway through. Are you going for punk, goth, or 'I forgot my shirt but at least I still have this string'? The only thing sharper than your fashion choices is the regret I feel for looking at this!" -Shouldn’t you be doing a video where you’re crying while complaining about not being able to find a job and you can’t figure out why? -I bet you poop standing up -You look like you open bottles of beer with your crotch. -Biggest clit in the roller derby -I love how people like this think they’re different or going against norms but yet they then go into the group of people who all think the same and dress and act the same so is it really a win? Your basically a norm after trying not to be norm to other norms -"Yo dude, what’s that shit on your face?" -Mid-Emo Crisis -Makeup be saving lives bro -Grow up? Maybe -So how long have you been pretending to be a woman? -You look like the type of person to call the domestic violence hotline only to find out the number is for victims only -You're the perfect person to help us convince Republicans to keep Planned Parenthood. -Still rockin the roller derby look. Love it -When you pick up chicks at NA meetings. -I was going to jerk off today. Looking like that just got postponed until tomorrow. -You look like the type of female to find fruit flies in your underwear with alarming regularity. -I don't know what to say I mean you seem like a pretty good guy to me. -Who is this man? -You look like the love child of Ruby Rose and Ozzy Osborne 🤘 -Someone at work told me he thinks everyone in america presents themselves as an anime character. Heres the proof. -How many times have you turned 31? -How long ago did you transition -"In the 5th picture you blacked out the guys face, you should have blacked out yours as well!" -Thanks for the age. Gender would be nice to know too. -If P!nk and Danny Trejo had a baby -The equivalent of masturbating with a hand full of razor blades and broken glass. -You look like you curb-stomped your face with your own Doc Marten’s -"Get more facial piercings, maybe more of the toxic bi-polar personality will leak out." -You look like an ugly hot cheetoh -I don’t have anything bad to say just wanted to let you know you accidentally typed 31 as your age. -"you look both like a 45 yo lesbian fan of the joker, and the 30 yo girl she's abusing" -Mom says it's my turn to be crungy -"We get it, you are craving for attention." -But moooooooom! It’s 2024 everybody’s doing m2f transitioning -"If ""look at me"" was a smell." -"Holy shit, for the love of god- pick one! Crazy inside or crazy outside, because the Manson lamps with the “I want attention” aesthetic is just tying you up nicely as insufferable." -Diarrhea Ripley -"31 going on 48, did your mother feed you asbestos as a child ?" -"Oops, some one forgot to take their birth control pill 31 years ago + 9 months ago on the day of that one Poison concert." -"Your teeth are like the spice girls. - -They’re all different colors and all kind of doing there own thing" -Something tells me you really enjoy sharing your opinions. -You look like you masturbate with a pine cone -Wish.com jinx -You definitely do anal. -I bet you smell like testosterone shots and silicone -You look like the kind of angry bisexual woman who talks constantly about how you hate men and they're trash only to go home and call your male partner Daddy. -"Daddy is still out for milk, huh? Good luck finding another daddy in the meantime. I'm sure you're hunting hard." -You look like a rooster. Prepare for the single life. -How did it feel working on Fallout 3 as a raider? -How long are you gonna keep cosplaying as someone from mad max? -You're right not to show your teeth when you smile 😁. -Basic Cyberpunk NPC -I was going to go to special site to help me sleep then I came across this. I guess I’m going to bed unsatisfied and unfinished. This might give me nightmares. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 -Those teeth could chew through tungsten. -You look like the only one that fucks you is time. You should be required to walk around with a trigger warning person 10 feet in front of you -You look like you could wrestle. -"If you take all those piercings out, I bet you sound like a party favor when you sneeze" -Your dad definitely didn’t call to wish you happy birthday again for the 18th year in a row since he left. -"I’ve never been ravaged by a woman, but you make my butthole pucker in fright like I’m about to be." -Someone hasn’t been missing calf day -You give off cockroache energy -"I'd hit it, from behind, with a pillow over its head, and that secret would die with me" -Overwatch Junker Queen vibes -You look like a spray painted wall -The directors for the borderlands movie thought you were a worse pick for Lilith than the old hag that played her -Death by Snu Snu cosplay. Chef's kiss x0x0x -Lorena Bobbitt eat your heart out -Pink from mad max crossover with forest gump. -"You’re the oposite of a horse without legs, you look like a snake with legs and are built like a horse." -Art the clown had better fashion -You look like you smoked many 8 balls of crack and sucked dick in the staircase before -You look like a Cyberpunk 2077 NPC -discounted JOJO character -Actually i am scared to roast you -"Despite looking like V. In Cyberpunk 2077, you would have stayed in the junkyard as it is the place you feel the most comfortable and that you belongs to." -I bet you were so excited to get your first 8yo boys haircut -You look like ***THE*** lesbian -This is what happens when you don’t buy your little princess the pony she asked for when she was 12 -You look pretty good for someone who was probably denied a pass to the 27 club. -You're like an angry woodpecker love child. -Just came to say goat whore is bad ass -Great choice of Sepultura and Goatwhore shirts! 👍 -this picture smells. -There’s a rock on TikTok named Gunter that has better skin texture than you do. -you look like a fucking nightmare -Cyberjunk 1993 -Since when 41 is 31...? -"Bad skin, Bad hair, Bad piercings. " -131 -That's a rough 31 -Proof cum facials aren’t good for your skin. -Yellow page ad: Guaranteed goth style blowjobs -The cringy hot topic girl grew up and got old: a cautionary tale -I’d rather shave my balls with a rusty razor and dip them in alcohol then go through that photo slide again -Remember to come back from hell. Don’t stay too long -You look like you’d play Vi in a porn parody of LoL called League of Losers. -"I'm not religious, but I think imma start seeking Jesus after seeing this." -Just turned 31... 20 years ago today -Looks like life already did a number with you. You need a break. -"Your dad didn’t give you attention as a kid either, huh?" -You look like your biggest goal in life is to eventually become the assistant manager of a Spencer’s Gifts but the mall is going out of business -Manager at Hot Topic? -"Los Angeles has been hard on you. You’re 31, you should have gone through this phase in middle school." -"You look like Trash from Return of the Living Dead. - -Actually, you just look like trash." -You don’t look a day under 45 -If the lead singer from Rammstein was a lesbian -Art The Clown teeth -I'm sorry about your accident. I hope the tackle box is ok. -This is the result of a failed plan B. -You don't look a day older than 47 years. -ROUGH! -What’s your roller derby name? -"It’s cool, don’t worry. Your dad still loves you" -So that's where my fishing tackle box went -31 and still wearing your name on your shirt? -Top 100% on only fans -What happens when a Spice Girl passes the expiration date. -just 31? -Yes indeed you are gonna be an extra in Mad Max 4 -I bet you think your haircut makes you look cool -The nose plug is a must to block the stench of your upper lip -31 or 42? -Unrelated but sick goatwhore shirt -comment -Where did you get those teeth? They look heavy -Your face is so filtered you look like a Scooby Doo villain that was just captured 😒 -"You definitely hit on your kids friends, just so that someone, anyone, gives you attention." -You’re definitely the woman who harasses friends and family to buy your shitty pyramid scheme products to make ends meet since your husband left -How much of your paycheck is designated to making you look 43? -What bottom 0.1% on onlyfans looks like. -"Gentlemen, -This is the old cougar your parents warned you about. -Approach with caution and do not accept any gifts. -And that thing at her house she wants you to look at.... not broken." -Damn Seabiscut looking ruff after the races -“Try me guys” is what you say to potential Johns when you’re on the street corner -If someone touched you with a piece of litmus paper it would turn dark blue -If “Live Laugh Love” was a person -"You are a Barbie. That face looks completely plastic, or is it Botox? Probably have the emotional depth of a Petri dish as well" -"You say, 'try me guys', but I get the feeling a lot guys tried you and you never saw them again" -Neeeeeiiiiiggghhhhh! -"""Try me guys"" was your nickname in High School, huh?" -"Too many filters. For all anyone knows you could be ET's ugly friend. If anything happens to you and the police ask for a recent photo there's no chance anyone is going to recognise you in real life. - -And take the bright plastic teeth back to the joke shop. The astronauts in the ISS are being blinded by them." -You look like you eat corn on the cob longways -"You look like a toxic HR employee whose only purpose is to fire people via video call while telling them you “understand.” Then you go out to a Mexican restaurant and get sloppy drunk off of overpriced margaritas and embarrass your family until your depressed husband has to escort you out to his overpriced and debt-ridden truck, which you proceed to throw up in on your way home and make him clean up because you fell asleep." -You piss pumpkin spice -You are giving off vibes that scream…. “I don’t do that”. Or “that’s nasty”. -Real Housewives of Egypt -"Tired looking eyes, probably from those late nights flossing those horse teeth." -"You've posted selfies to like 5 other subreddits since this post. Fucking yikes, superficial need for validation much?" -You have teeth like grave stones -Are you that insecure you can’t even post a pic without a filter on? Pathetic. -When OnlyFans inevitably fails for you you’ll always have work clearing forests with beavers. 🦫 -"Guys, I tried and don't recommend" -How do manage to stand upright with such a high center of gravity? -You have a face like a Sim -More filters than a box of Marlboro's -I guess there is no filter that can filter out desperation. -Your nudes got no engagement that you had to create this account to comment on your other account where you post them. -You autotuned your face -no NFL kicker can kick a field goal as long as your face -"Hey, why the loooooong face?" -How'd you get the personality of a hallmark card? -I didn’t know Instagram had an Uncanny Valley filter. -How are we supposed to roast you when we don’t even know what you actually look like -AI is worse than I thought -Should I filter my response like you filter your face? -Definitely has 6 cats and wonders why guys stop talking to her after she gives them the most mediocre starfish of their lives -Hope you finish paying off your teeth soon -Face like a shoe horn -Looks like you got those teeth off a Spirit Halloween discount rack -I don't know what works harder: those filters or your dental hygienist -"No amount of Industrial Lights and Magic powered filters you try to use is going to make you look like you're 21. Just stop. Embrace your age and be true to yourself. I bet if you have a teenage daughter, you're trying to live vicariously through her, and she hates you for it." -One more filter and you could use your face to purify sewage water. -"It would be helpful if you could post a picture with your original nose, for the sake of comparison." -"Face it you are over 40, the teenage party years are over." -You use more filters than Mr. Coffee and still look like a meth addicted beaver. -"Underneath the filters, there are only more filters." -Too bad those filters can’t fix your lazy eye -When you order veneers from tractor supply. -"You look like you cry when you don’t get your own way. - -And you look like you are in the top 5% percentile of women who can’t control their queefs. Big queefer." -Wasnt sure where she looking tho… bet she looks both ways before crossing the street… at the same time -More filters than the Coney Island Aquarium and probably smells as bad. -Wait… so is u/Sunny_dreamerr your account? That you made comments on your own NSFW posts? Or did you steal the images from the account? -Is that 43 horse years or human years? -C'mon guys. Do be so neeeigghhgative. -"Basic bitch looks - -Have the depth of a thimble - -Dead inside eyes - -Hitlers wet dream of ideals - -Dressed like a pumpkin spice consultant - -Grill looking so fake it makes Milli Vanilli look genuine" -"The good news for your children is when they are of high school age, they will never had to worry about their friends having a crush on you." -"Sir, you’ve gone too heavy on the lipstick." -"You are a 10, on the scale of 10 to 1 million." -How many times have you said that in front of the local highschool football team? -Aww the horse girl grew up finally -Putting that much make-up on a horse should be considered cruelty to animals. -You look like a actress that would be in a low budget lifetime film about a crazy woman that tries to steal your baby and husband😭 -Good lord the filters -I bet even your mom can not recognise you with these filters -MOOOM!! The horse got out again and is taking selfies! -Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a bridle -Makeup does more lifting than a pallet jack -You look single and not by choice. -They make dentures in different sizes. You're welcome. -You must have an oil changing business with all the filters you use. -Your polident bill must be outrageous 😬 -Recently divorced narcissist who blames her ex for the failed marriage but she’s the one that had multiple affairs. Close enough? -You too old for reddit -these roasts are gonna be the motivation for your next cosmetic surgery -You look like an elderly British horse that only eats cigarettes -Are these all nose job lawsuit photos? -Guessing a lot of guys have tried you -Most the guys in here said “again”? -Take the filter off. Youre ugly either way. -You look like you can give a guy hypothermia of the dick. -Why the filter?? -How much did you pay for those dentures? -That filter is working overtime. -Your face reminds me of a ghoul from the Fallout series -Holy filtering filters batman! -Show us your true colours -You’re honestly too boring to roast. But it seems like your ex-husband obliterated any confidence you may have had. -When did this place become the spot for transgender folks to see if they can pass in public before trying to pass in public 😂 -More filters than a hospital HVAC system. -Nice promo pictures for the reboot of Mr. Ed -Filters and Ozembic makes you look like a ghoul. -Sad times when people face filter a horse -"Damn, look so old you'll be asking us to subscribe to your OnlyWindcatchers." -Whose teeth did you steal? Go get your own dentures because some old senile man is wondering around looking for his -Stop using AI and filters -Looks like Gary Busey dressed up as a woman for Halloween. -You look like a horse -Supposed to not use filters -"Talk about dead eyes, you say you want to be roasted and yet you hide behind your filters. I bet you look like the crypt keeper" -If I used as many filters on my coffee pot as you do on your face my coffee would come out as clear water -Teeth like Busey -Stop the presses! The cave trolls have discovered filters! -"If Flint Michigan use that many filters on their water, it would be safe to drink." -You look like you would agree to go on a date with me. If you knew me you would find this insulting -"So... your husband dumped you a week ago and now you're posting filtered pictures to up your ego? - -I don't think I can trump that roast." -"The f next to 43 is supposed to mean female, not filter." -I’d try. But it looks like everybody else has already. -cant tell if youre a divorced single mom or about to be one -No you can not speak to the manager -"Heavy make up, dry hair, always get called everyone best teacher 👩‍🏫 😉😉, alien 1- resurrection main character looking gal. You definitely fighting something , maybe your dentist for fixing up your teeth to look like a horse 🐴eating radish gal." -All that filtering can't hide that lazy eye -Even the AI powers of whatever filter you used aren't strong enough to hide your wrinkles. Would have looked WAY better unfiltered. -What happened to your real teeth? The meth? -"When feeding her an apple, keep your hand flat so she doesn’t accidentally take off a finger or two. Then give her a good brush down and some nice fresh oats." -"Honestly I think there's no hope, off to the glue factory sorry." -See people! This is what we would look like if we evolved from horses. -If Multi Level Marketing was a person -That face has seen more loads than the city dump. -"Don't try to look pretty of you're asking for a roast, the filters won't change the fact that we know you have wrinkles " -You used a free filter app right? At least be confident and show you look your age rather than an alien from a horror movie. -You eat oats with those teeth😂 -I would try you but something tells me it's going to be like fucking my leather wallet.  -I wish I had as much support in life as your tits do. -Really putting the teeth in forty-three. -More filtered then a Gangese drain -There's a fine line between make-up and spackle -You should try harder and post photos without filters -"All those not in favor, say neigh" -You definitely have pictures of your kids and an Onlyfans link on the same Instagram -asking people to roast you with a filter on….. -"You and a horse walk into a bar, and the bartender say, ""Why the long face?"" - -The horse says, ""Fuck off with that tired shit man, that joke's not funny."" - -Bartender says, ""I wasn't talking to you.""" -Horse teeth having -You are one filter away from becoming a cartoon. -I think your 4 ex Husband's have tried you enough. -No amount of makeup is gonna mask that horse face. -Your face most likely looks like a catchers mitt without filter upon filter. The first time I ever seen double or even triple filters used. -U don’t look real😦 -This is a little awkward but your insecurities are showing -If only you could buy a personality as easily as you could buy teeth -I didn't know skeletor was living her best life in an alternate universe as a trans woman. -I've never seen anyone hold Chiclets in their mouth like that. -"Are you a man, woman, or a horse? 🐎 🐴" -How bad were your teeth before you got work done? Maybe should've spent more money on your floppy tits -Are you even real? Mannequins look more lively than you do. -"You pay that Snapchat filter overtime? - -Seriously though, how bad is your self esteem that you have to post (heavily) edited pictures to r/roastme? Damn maybe go find value in yourself first" -Why do you look like you died but still moving? -👁️———👃🏻———-👁️ -What ever you did they BOTCHED IT BAD. -Russian sleep experiment -Was there no filter for that sad ass you got? -Congrats on the Kentucky Derby win. -You lack the confidence to take a photo without a filter on it. -Hey you probably didn't notice but you got some filter on your face. -I had no idea Norm Macdonald dressed in drag -You look like a stripper that works a Tuesday morning.  -"Dang, that’s as good as gets with all those filters?" -lol holy shit. Plastic or Ai I can’t tell. Either way your body is going to pollute the earth for years. -Industrial grade teeth -More filters than an HVAC warehouse. -More filters than a coffee shop -more filters than a pack of cigarettes. -I cant tell whats more fake. Your tits or the very obvious face filter that cant even hide the bags under you eyes from all the sleepless nights caused from the bad decisions you made 30 years ago. -Who told their mom about AI filters? -"Horse teeth, eyes that don't care for eachother and a nose so big even the filters can't hide it" -"40yo, tryna look 20" -What’s left when the sugar daddies went to get some milk at the convenience store. Twice. -Jennifer Bury Me In the Gardner -"“Try me guys”, says the person on her fourth marriage…" -"The eyes of Xanax abuse, nothing there" -You're used to saying that aren't you? -"The hardest decision a man will ever have to make while on a date with you is which one of your eyes to look at when he tells you, ""It's was nice to meet you. You're a lot of fun. I know just the guy you should meet.""" -You have already been tried way too many times already young lady -How did you recover after you broke your neck with that awkward fall boxing. I thought Clint Eastwood pulled the plug. I was against them letting you in that fight from the start. A horse has no business being in a boxing ring. -AI makes more realistic pictures than you. -"When people say don't stick your dick in crazy, it is specifically you they are talking about. You got them slash your tires and show up at your house drunk screaming at 3am vibes going on" -I’m sure sandpaper comes way closer to your actual skin texture than whatever *that* is. -Try before I buy?; when Onlyfans loses its plural -Why the long face? -You look like Gary Bucci with a filter. -Better bad attention than no attention aye! -Definitely ready for thanksgiving with those Turkey Teeth -You pretend you have a horse and just hope the money from your multi level marketing business starts coming in so you can buy one before anyone finds out. -Filters so thick they retain water. -doesn't want roasted but wants the atta girl and attention -Looking at you saved me a trip to Easter Island -*M2F43 -Says every man she ever dated was toxic and takes her ex back to court every 6 months to see if he makes more money. -"Guessing on the amount of filters, only being 43 is also a lie." -"Guaranteed you have at least one ""live, laugh, love"" sign in your house" -So when you got veneers did you specifically ask for horse? -I thought Michael Jackson was dead? -Looks like you bought veneers from a horse. -She could pass for a rough 45 or a young 50 -I guess your tits are always out to hide that horse face. How many of your son’s friends have you tried to fuck? -Those veneers aren’t fooling anyone -More filters than Sea World. -You need to find a new denture clinic -Whoaaaaaa there Seabiscuit. Why the long face? -This is AI -Definitely a dude -"You look like every early 40s single woman alone at the bar, just waiting until someone drinks enough to finally find you ‘good enough’" -You absolutely can’t tell you spend more time “editing” your photos for Tinder than anything else in your life…and wonder all the time. “Why? I am 43 yrs old and can’t find love or anyone that’s real.” -"I’m NOT filtered at all! I live mostly UNDERWATER!! Haven’t you ever met an amphibious woman? What’s your problem, people?!!" -"I wonder what you actually look like - -All those pics and we still can’t tell" -She used photoshop so she don't look ugly but she did himself worse. -How many divorces does it take for someone to face filter on this subreddit? At least 2 right? -Are you using a filter or a light? -got filter? -All that filtering and you still look like an alien from Mars Attacks. -This filter goes to 11 -Who keeps posting ai generated women -I knew this was going to be brutal. -Those filters are about as effective as the ones of cigarettes. -Filters getting a workout huh? -Female Pennywise -"Ironic, ""try me guys"" is the tramp stamp she got at 18. But it's written in Japanese." -"It's not your cake day, take it off your face." -For free? -Why the long face? -You broke all photo editing AI in an attempt to fix your face -Filters. Burned!!! -You got that atchaforya disease. One eyes lookin atcha and the other eye’s lookin for ya. -"Your like the crust slice in a bag of bread, everyone touches it but no-one wants it" -Fire Marshall Bill really cleans up nicely! -"Nice try, A.I." -It should say Hefty under your eyes -More filters than fish store -She's got lifeless eyes black eyes like a doll's eye. When she comes at ya she doesn't seem be living -"Why the long face? -Literally why the long face?" -You look good on someone over fiddy -Probably cute 20 years ago. Now it’s just sad . 😒 -Giving “passed around by the PTA dads” vibe -How many of your son’s high school teammates have you sucked off so far? -Citizen of Whoville -Pre-OP General Grievous -"At first I thought, she's breaking those teeth in for a horse. Then I thought, she's breaking that face in for a horse. Are you a horse? When people ask your age, do you stamp your front hoof 43 times?" -No matter how much filtering you do or fake teeth you put in you cannot hide your cock bulge when you sit like that. -Thanks for watching my series on ‘how I eat apples through my lettrbox’ -A parrot fish would like their teeth back please -"I would roast you, but you aren't supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth" -You could seduce a herd of wild horses with those teeth. -"Why can't you close your mouth all the way in the last pic? Oh, horse teeth" -When was the last time you kept a meal down? -OnlyFans ain't for you. -You look ai generated -Horse Benatar -4 and 5 especially 5 is less filtered and you look pretty good. Less filtering would do you good. Filtered is not doing you justice at all. -"""Try me guys, F43"" - neigh." -"if you didn't use so many filters, you wouldn't look like some long forgotten Mii character and a Sheepshead were your parents." -"Nice titties, I mean teeth, I mean tits, teeth....dammit" -"Guys I don’t wanna do this one, she seems nice." -Long face with the mr potato teeth -You look like a mom that still tries to be young by using the Snapchat filters -Amway must have had a deal on chiclets with those chompers! You put babba booey to shame! -I mean… take the filters off at least Jesus -Imma pass. Im sure alotta guys have tried you already -"You're the type of mom that would walk out in just a towel when her teenaged sons friends were over. And while I appreciated it then, now I see how sad and weird it was when they'd do that." -JFC you're vain -So many filters that I thought it was AI as I was scrolling. -Try you? Like that's something many haven't done. -Filters working overtime. -"I’d rather not roast you, plastic fires are incredibly toxic…" -You seem like that girl that expects free drinks at a bar but only gets boxed wine from the booty call. -In the spirit of Halloween your children call you mummy all year round. -It must take you a long time to floss the cum between your teeth. -"Holy filters and fake tits, I'm surprised you don't have the super-plumped fake-ass Russian prostitute lips to complete the package." -I genuinely don’t know which direction you’re looking -Why the long face? -"You look like you should have one lazy eye, and it's disturbing that you don't" -Your eyes look like they are trying to escape your face. -If a potato peeler had a face -"You are the mum all the other mums don't leave alone with their husbands and teenage sons, the reason your own daughter won't bring home a boyfriend, the neighbour everyone knows keeps the delivery guy to long and invites workmen to stay for longer than needed, it's not much of a life but it's your life, go be the best desperate ex house wife you can be." -If you buy Jennifer Garner on Temu… -You look like the offspring of Michael Jackson and Mr. ED. -Do you use filters here because you can’t on your OnlyFans? -"Hobbies include- Pilates, hiking, dancing, and building dams with my friends." -"You and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender turns to you and asks, ""Why the long face?""" -Is it true you can eat an apple through a picket fence? -The filters can’t hide the mid life crisis -Why the long face? -You look like you live in Waco -"You’re good looking and look like a good person, ROASTED!!!" -Where's your carrot? You look like a horse -Without the filters your a 4 -"You look ai -generated" -Trying you looks like it involves missionary and benzos. -You smack of Amway products. -"Last week, a cop came to your door. You husband answered. A cop was standing there. He showed you husband a picture and asked: “Do you recognize this woman”. Your husband said: “yes, that’s my wife”. The cops said: “sorry to tell you this sir, looks like she was hit by a bus”. Your husband replied “I know, but she’s a great mother and faithful wife”." -"It appears teeth weren't the only thing lost to meth. Husband, kids, career, hope, aspirations......" -"If it wasn’t for onlyfans, you wouldn’t have any friends" -Your face looks like a skeleton key. -I didn't realize Fakedoll was a brand. -You look tired and your dentures are too big -You look stuck up -Looking like the average villan with a goddamm master plan up your sleeves -Temu Frankenfurter. -"43 and you're on the reddit holding a roast me sign, you're already cooked 😭" -Too many guys have already tried you -I think there isn't any filter that can block out desperation. -How does one roast a filter? -filter queen -"Yeah, that's cool. We just want to see tits." -"You’re that aunt or cousin that people talk about at family gatherings where they mention how you’re pretty but also desperately alone, and everyone feels more comfortable not talking about you because your existence makes people feel about as sad and empty as you are." -"Why the long face? - -Not saying I wouldn't though" -Two words: Luis Suarez -The ol' teeth & queef -comment -You look like Waldo’s sister that no one wants to find -You look like you masturbate to re-runs of Dr. Phil. -What art school are you failing out of? -You look like a school library manager combined with the student they slept with. -Ah... the practice girl. -I see you borrowed your mom's shirt. -you look like you give teethy head -You look like you dream in IMAX with that forehead. -"Please tell me the back of that sweater reads ""With a bag on my head""" -Can't wait to hear about how leaves are really good for you. Oh God the armpit no -I believe your t-shirt. But only because if you bent over we wouldnt be able to see you. -You look like you manage to turn owning stuffed animals into something sexual. -"hope to god you do look better bent over, you got nothing else goin on for you" -"Party on, Garth!" -I had no idea Big Bird was anorexic -The second picture is a view no man has endured twice -Where does your hairline end? -"You actually have a spermicide look in your eyes, I can feel them dying just seeing your photo" -">I look better bent over - -Literally any view that shows less of your face would be better." -"Geek on the streets, freak in the sheets…" -"Excuse me, teacher was that shirt made by one of the students you slept with?" -"I'm not saying anything remotely sexual to roast this person, because I'm pretty confident they're about 13. - -I don't want to suffer their mom's wrath when she confiscates their phone and reads all this." -ITS MEGAMIND!! -Hey you were great in 'mask' -The type of girl who spreads easier than mayo on a bologna and cheese sandwich. But like that sandwich no one wants to eat it -E-boy jeffrey dahmer. -"You look like a germ magnified 20,000X" -You look like the nematodes from SpongeBob 😂😂😂 -A cat has def pleasured you before -You’re what I imagine when I hear the term “vax injury.” -You look like you are majoring in an area of study that will undoubtedly make you unemployed after graduation -"yeah, I'm sure you look better bent over....that way, no one has to see your face" -You look best with a bag over your head. -You look both pre-op and post-op at the same time. -A nose ring. Shocker -It's the CEO of pronouns -"The only thing eating your pussy is Sirus.  - - -Takes it like a champ. " -Nice to see Daria had a kid -Holy shit we found Waldo! -"So your arse is better than your face, that I highly doubt. Better bent over with your head in a hole. Stick your specs on your arse and find out." -I would highly recommend using Keeps for that receding hairline -A future wifey who gets upset when your partner doesn't find the same character in a book as interesting as you do. -"If you still have your weiner, don't cut it off. This girl thing just isn't working for you. 🤮🤮🤮" -Your forehead is big enough for you to write your gender studies final essay on it -Why do all the women who post here have rings in their nose?? Boogers ain't enough??? -If asparagus was a person -We get it you’re gay. -You look like the dumb bitch type to have no idea how the interweb works and post 78 days ago that you’re 19 and now magically are 18. 🤔 -Even your face is bored of your personality. -"You’ve heard it so many times, might as well have it printed on a shirt." -you look like you smell like cheap tobacco and depression. -Looks like type that even bent over the head still can turn all the way around to fuck it all up. -How much you wanna bet you don’t look better bent over? -You'd be very pretty...if you looked like literally anyone else. -you look like that vegan teacher but younger -You look like a Waffle House waitress that does crack behind the dumpster outback -"With a face like that, anybody would look better bent over." -You look like if the goblin from the Lord of the rings just more deformed -The girl that every guy loses their virginity to for “practice” before moving in to someone else. -"Holy shit, where's Waldo had a kid?" -Daughter with an absent father or a disappointed one. -I feel like there should be a picture of you bent over -"* You look like you could peg me(I kinda like that) -* your glasses don’t do you any favors -* greasy hair -* shitty nose ring -* awkward lips -*weird eyebrows -* pale asf -* missing nails -* bulga whale forehead" -The literal state of Gen-Z white girls: cosplaying in the 90’s without the color or class -You look like you tell the barista your name is “señorita awesome” irl -Rip your inbox -"You give off lesbian who lives in a rural area scarred by a bad relationship with your father (who probably diddled you) leaving you with a mental illness that you low-key brag about, that also leads you to have a dog whom you might or might not be fucking, and you probably work at McDonalds because that degree in advanced music theory didn't work out vibes. Oh and you own a lot of plants and listen to an obscene amount of shogaze. On the bright side good political opinions though." -If you were bent over I'd think you were a paper clip. -Does your forehead have glowing capabilities ?? -First person I’ve seen that has a bigger forehead then me and I can watch an imax movie in my forehead -You're one blonde wig away from saying 'I don't know shit about fuck!' -Go to bed. -Looks better bent over so we can’t see your face -"The next time you buy eyeglasses this big from Zenni, ask them to install windshield wipers for a couple bucks extra." -your poor generation and their taste in eyewear. Mine wasn’t any better but equally as terrible. -You are almost pretty -Pretty sure I just got chlamydia looking at this picture -You look like you're still growing into your forehead. -"It looks like your lips and hairline have been in contention with one another for the last decade. In a game of ""who is the thinnest""." -You kinda look like it's your dream to get tied up by a guy for kinky sex then get forgotten about -I'll trust what the shirt says and assume your ass looks better than your face... -Trying to get past your insecurities and past issues with sex will not work when you don't maintain your body hair and smell like the restroom in a high school football team's locker room. -You look like a 40-year-old creative writing professor’s greatest regret. -You look better bent over because your asshole is better looking than your face -Kmart Jodie Foster -You look like your schools dealer sells you 100% pure weed stem -"Bangs would go a long way to covering that forehead. Also, if you’re going to wear a shirt like that… maybe post pics to back it up 🤷🏻‍♂️" -When do you start filming the next season of stranger things? -"You look like a dachshund trying to pass as a human, but not knowing anything about what actual humans wear." -You look like you’d be overjoyed to just at least be a tease. -I know like 15 people who look exactly like you -Wouldn't ride you into battle -"Looks like the before of the ugly duckling before they become hot. - -Only there’s no after. - -Ever." -You look like you believe in astrology -Can’t tell if pre or post-meth -Well lets start with not knowing how to fucking flip an image -"That's not a forehead, it's atleast a fivehead" -Forehead as wide as the whole United States -The photos got progressively worse -Daria’s big sister Diarrhea -Bless your heart -Your dream is to be sniffed by Joe Biden. -"If ""My pussy smells"" was a person." -You look like you care about women’s rights but secretly want a man to tell you what to do and pay for your lifestyle. -"Usually I find a persons face more appealing than their asshole, but in this case I’m not sure." -Ain't no way an 18 year old is wearing that shirt 💀 -How is this not an OnlyFans ad? -I can't help but think you have a very bony ass. So your shirt is lying. -You look like the boy version of my daughter -You look like you have more sperm in your intestine than gut flora ! -Do you come from France? -GTFO Daria -I can’t tell which way you are transitioning from/to. -Never seen someone get uglier just by swiping -You look like the least popular slut in high school -"“I look better bent over” - -Who would wanna get to that point though?" -"I’m sorry, but bending over, you��d still look just like this. - -Orientation isn’t your issue." -"When proposed with a choice of your face and a poop stained butthole with a reeth of thick pubes and dingle berries, even you agree your stink hole is the correct one." -I read your shirt. Do you? -"The look on her face says autism, the hair mentally unstable." -"You look like the dumb version of Ezra McCandless, but stupider." -What the fuck is up with this chicks 5 head? -"Your tinder profile says “you like a man in uniform” which makes me wonder where you and your boyfriend were on January 6th - -The sugar daddy site you registered at called and wants it oversized t-shirt back - -You probably wear those Harry Potter glasses unironically - -Your last relationship probably started with the line: “You’re an old soul and act so mature for your age.”" -I give it 6 months until you’re non binary -Daria from Beavis and Butthead had a daughter? Well I’ll be damned… -I feel for you but all I feel is bones. -"This is the girl that let's you hit surprisingly easy and soon, then you realize why and never call her again. Her nickname is training wheels because she is what everyone starts out with." -Are the glasses large to make up for your pencil like face. If your butt is like your head sex would only work in a two deminsional world. I guess the reason you right backwards is so when we see you in rear view mirror everyone knows speed up. With those lips the head you give is more teeth than pleasure. In the second pic with you laying down you look like a one time porn actress taking in the ass so you can buy ramen for supper since that is all it is worth. I'm not sure if I'm looking at a female or a femboy. With the crochet in the background I can tell you like to hang out the grandmothers. Its probably just as dry as desert. The plainess I see with you is nothing buy brown and white maybe a little color would help you out. -"You look like the type of girl, who has to go to the ER, because she got a hot dog, stuck in her vagina." -"How does anyone keep coming up with these awesome roasts? I can never make a good one in time, let alone a good one at all." -"Your shirt probably isn't lying, but to play it safe, let me ask your dad permission should he ever return home with the milk." -Gives great blowjobs but will light your cat on fire if you dump her -"I won't lie, I'd hit it. Fuck, I'd even call you the day after. Hell, I'd text to make sure you got home safely. - -Let's see the proof from the shirt" -"18???? You were 18 when you were in “Roseanne” in the 1980’s, Darlene Conner" -you have to film the camera around. I bet you were a Harry Potter kid who had a lesbian crush on Hermione. but you turned out to be a Hufflepuff. This brought you to tears and your whole world came crumbling down. -This woman loves to please her man. And your man and her man and the man at the gas station and the cab driver.. -You look better bent over. lmfao -You look like if Anne with an e and wally breeded together but turned liberal -Go out with my brother he’ll spoil you and love you forever and y’all can help eachother work on eachother and you can do what you want and he’ll gas you up and be rich someday and yall can get a Lexus and a birdhouse in the back and one of those 3 wheel strollers. And one day you’ll wonder what you even know and everything will be okay -I'd have to order an Uber to get from your eyebrows to your hairline. -She’s cute!! Wtf -You’re the type to listen to Billie Eilish to feel badass but are too scared to tell fast food workers they fucked your order -"It’s like god moulded your fivehead specifically for Reddit tributes. - -I hope you get those subs, dawg." -You look like the girl I’d spot and try and work up a ton of confidence to talk to but then psychologically I remember if her attractiveness already intimidates me a bit there’s no way I wouldn’t be a reacher at best and then I might hit the dab pen with you and we’d share a laugh but then I’d start getting sweaty palms and you’d giggle but also be grossed out I let you hit this sweaty dab pen and then leave with giving me a fake number -"I can’t say shit, I subscribe to ur Onlyfans" -Are you the dog that poops and eats it's own shit. -Pidge from Voltron looking ass -"Okay, whoever picked up that flat rock in the woods y’all need to put it back because stuff like this crawls out." -Honestly you look pretty af (not trying to sound weird) but you look absolutely gorgeous! -ew yuck! -Do you identify as a 14 year old trans boy? -"""I Look Better Bent Over"" - -Desperation isn't going to fix the way you look or help you fill the void your father left." -When you take the picture you should inverse it so the text on your shirt is readable. You are old enough to get it. -Definitely posted from grandmas living room cuz mom is still working at ups and can only afford a 1br while dad hasn’t been seen in decades. -Oh you're satanic? You'll be getting roasted for eternity that way. -Mclovin’s sister -I mean it would be hard to look worst. -"I blame Hollywood! -The 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' female reboot failed miserably" -"My name is Noah, how ya doin? - -Don't fuckin' touch me or I'm suin'." -Hi 👋 Aunt Mildred 😂 -is your dad Waldo? -If Waldo had a twin sister. -Even blind people disagree with the text in the first picture -Scoliosis couldn't make you look better bent over. -I’d offer to play Noughts and Crosses on your forehead if images were allowed here -I see why you look better bent over. Ooff -Your tinder profile says you’re 19. Which is it? -Looks like you’re going for the Nickelodeon every annoying female character blend you could have thought of. Say hi to the thornberrys for me -"Looks like your glasses are wearing you, and not the other way a round.." -"Second Picture gives ""I used to work for a satanist cult"" vibes" -"Guessing you can see into your lonely, miserable future with those coke bottle frames." -You look like mr. Poopy butthole -Still fronting i see -Can a stick figure look better bent over? Doesn’t seem to add a lot to the equation. -"Yeah right, twigs don't bend, they snap." -"You look better bent over? - -Your face looks like an ass, does your ass look like a face?" -You're so unimpressive your owner didn't even decide to include you in the second picture. I've seen smaller lense flare off the sun. -You look like Waldo is your dad and the reason he went into hiding. -Your shirt speaks wonders. How many STDS have you had -You're the girl that smells weird and no one can ever remember your name -Bet your dad doesn’t know about that shirt. -You look like you’ve made a collage of St Bernard buttholes on your wall -As bad as you look I guarantee you don't look better bent over. But honestly not bad as far as MtF transitions go. -I'm not calling you ugly. It's just I have seen better looking circus freaks than you. -comment -Was your face drawn by a racist 6 year old in the 1940's? -I am now cured of my Asian fetish 👌 -You look like a ghost that haunts Panda Express. -You look easy to draw.. -You're one cup size away from being considered a breast cancer survivor -To be fair all your photos look dumb -That last photo confirmed you are flat from face to toe. -Your genetic pool is smaller than your field of vision -You look like Mark Zuckerbergs wet dream -You look like you masturbate to documentaries. -The only woman to leave a bukakke party cum-free -You look like the kid that Angelina Jolie would adopt. -"You have a case of resting ""Squid Games contestant"" face." -You were born with your facial features on mute -You look like the gender swap of glen from the walking dead -Shouldn’t you be studying instead of being on Reddit ? -I turn now good luck everybody else -Fourth pic you're looking like you wish you were lady not ladyboy -It looks like you're watching yourself urinate. -Gay - Sha -"Good of you to check ""shrinkage"" after that dip in the water " -Last picture looks like an album cover from a rapper who's been convicted and prosecuted for pissing in parks -Mantis from guardians of the galaxy -I like the last picture particularly because you can’t see your face -You can keep looking but you ain't gonna find any tittie's down there. -I'm 40 bald and kinda overweight... And I would still say no. -I think sum ting wong with her face -The most Asian to ever asian -"Hey, look, a meh-rmaid." -You look like a mannequin from the boys section came to life. -Two wongs don’t make a white -"Hey look! An Asian that ended up at UGA. Her parents must be so disappointed. ""Your bradda going to be dacta. You be librarian""" -You look like you successfully escaped from the SHEIN factory -That face flatter than a McDonald's hamburger -Yucko Ono -That’s cute that the sloth from zootopia learned how to use Reddit. -You can’t love long time -Gurl if u dont already know sorry but my gaydar is going off! -U look like you’re allergic to life -"Last picture confirms. If we were stranded on an island, I could make a raft out of you" -They must've used you to model the grudge -Loastme -To be one with the water one must first pee in the water -You look like the guy from SOAD videoclip Aerials -"I prefer the last picture to be honest, the shadow makes me see less of you." -You look like the Asian version of the inbred banjo kid from The Deliverance -When did you transition? -"Your friends are full of it. They all look dumb. In fact, you look dumb. =)" -"If someone ever asked if you were attractive, the only honest response would be “She doesn’t have enough of a face, or facial features, to answer that”." -Bone structure of Gumby deep space 9 Odo looking! -Woody Allen has entered the chat... -You could legit be a character from „Thomas the tank engine” with that round-ass face -Your left eye is Japanese and your right eye is Korean -Are you a ladyboy? -"I have a thing for Asian girls.... well I did, thanks for curing me!" -please dont climb through my tv -Bobby Lee? -I find it so wierd when guys wear bikinis -She's the villian from the abyss -18F to M! -Roast Me: Which roast-a Hiroshima or Nagasaki? -Ummm thats a dude -I didn’t know Hobbits came in Asian as well -I would roast you but I don’t think you could read the comment -"Chasing parked cars. -Ouch." -You have smart friends. -AI generated image of what it would look like if Agent Orange fucked a Hiroshima survivor -"Your friends aren't wong, - -You might be." -You've been spending way too much time on leg day. And not nearly enough on chest day. -You could fit another face between your eyes -"Well, there goes my Asian fetish." -You look like a transitioning Arthur Aardvark -You’re the reason “OneChild” was implemented -Lady Boy vibes. -You look 8 years old 🥲 -"It does look dumb, but don’t worry, it fits in the set." -"The last picture doesn't look dumb, but it looks masculine as fuck. Like you're waiting for pee to shoot out your penis!" -Your friends are right. -Well ur ripped so just beat them up 😂 -Someone thought it would be funny to put a bra on Drift wood. -Looks like a character off of the movie “Bug’s Life” -You look like the model they based Baby Yoda on. -You look like you work at Panda Express on a Native American reservation. -Last photo looks like a scene from a video game. GRAND THEFT OCEAN? -"Last photo makes you look like a really awesome dude, the v-taper is incredible" -"You’re a carpenters dream, flat and never been nailed." -What in the alien elf fuck?! -You're so bland even MSG can't help  -You look consistently dumb in all of them. -"Stop looking down, we don't know where your titties went either." -"What’s up lidless! Except I’ll refer to you as Lids. Given the fact that people are nicknamed the total opposite of how they appear. Like how fat guys are nicknamed Tiny? Yeah, so Wsup Lids! You look like the type of south Asian the whites wouldn’t even adopt. You have a very lackluster face.. just unamused and unbothered. I mean damn your shitty smirk of a smile even seems forced. But at the same time you’ve got this crippling “Rambo” style PTSD through the eyes of the Vietcong that’s triggered everytime you hear the word…. “Hi”. All you see/hear is raiden hats, explosions, and ""YEEEEIEIEIEIHHH’s"" ! I thought eyebrows were there to HELP with facial expressions…? Yours serve no purpose at all. No wonder why they look like they’ve been regularly shaved. It’s like your face is saying … “Meh”. You literally look like the doll the village girl looses in Mulan. “A girl worth fighting”….. Headass!" -Nice to see the kid from 'System of a Down - Ariels' all grown up -If your eyes were any farther apart they would be closer together -Nice abs -You look like a blossoming gymrat in the last photo (that was supposed to be a compliment) -Kim Jong Ew -Hi. Im bobby mom!! 😑 -You look extremely easy to draw. -I cant belive I finally saw how the typicall japanese ghosts looked as a human -"these comments are brutal, hope the girl realised she's in the Roast Me subreddit and not in a Selfie one." -"Roast you? In the words of DJ Khaled, “God did!”" -You are already cooked -I have really bad taste in women and I think you’re hot. -She built like a salamander -I will not roast when a stir fry is clearly called for. -"Woman and Asian. You're really not meant to drive -( Just kidding, no offense, I myself am asian )" -Did your parents pick your name by throwing pots and pans down the stairs? -Board? You certainly have the proportions. -Yall are merciless. So the one in the pic who posted this… what your pic/post tells me is that you’re super confident in yourself and you can take the heat of the folks on here being “mean”. Hats off to you. I couldn’t do it. I’d be over analyzing all my faults with every post someone wrote about me if I did this. #StrongWoman! -"Why you no have eyebrows? - --everyone - -And why you no doctor yet? - --your parents" -You don’t have friends bitch stop lying. -"Is ur pussy REALLY sideways??? -Just asking bc I really don't know..." -"I’d look you in the eye when I roast you, but I can’t figure out which one to look at" -Don't wear hats you look late 30’s -The Kraken rises from the depths of Royal China Kitchen! -Your face is so smooth like a burn victim. -I didn't like your performance in the grudge 2004 -Your eyes have more volume than your chest… -Why do you have a bikini on young man? -My opinion of the last photo is the same as the first three….they all look dumb. -Last photo looks like you’re contemplating drowning yourself and putting your friends out of their misery. -I choose to believe AI put a grey space alien in a bikini… because the alternative is too scary. -"You're the equivalent of chorizo sausage from Walmart when it comes to white guys dating Asian women. - -Exotic looking, mildly spicy, but overall disappointing when you take the wrapper off (see last picture)." -Me duck you long time -Asa Akira without makeup -"2 things. - -It's good to have friends that are honest and secondly, at least 3 families could move in and live comfortably on that five-head." -ET -You have as much flavor as a soy bean. I’d be bored with myself too -I haven't gotten such creepy vibes since I saw the movie The Ring -You will never distribute anything to the world and you will fall behind everyone pathetic -What’s that movie? With that monster thing in the barn?? Is it Splice? Yeah… you’re Splice -Less than an hour and she got wrecked!! -What was it like working with Harrison Ford? -"The second picture has you keeping one eye on your wonton soup, the other on your fat brother" -18F closseyed -“The summer I turned pretty” never happened for you did it? -Your friends probably just jealous of your tiny tits -The last photo should not be singled out for looking dumb ... because it looks dumb*er ...* -I thought sex dolls were supposed to be more lifelike these days... -Your face looks like it was run over -They are right -"you have the body of a teenage boy. - -If you were Mulan, no one would've ever figured out you were female" -Asian Bella Ramsay is that you? -More photos like the last one -Is that last picture a picture of your boyfriend? -You are hot af! -Your eyebrows give chemotherapy -You only see half bodies of people -You look like you lack discipline. -Wear the bikini more often…. -You’re OF account has no subscribers -"Based on pic#4 we know that you’re a mermaid disowned by the sea people, and now we have to be burdened by you living amongst us." -"You look like an extra from the movie, the dark Crystal" -Don't listen to your friends. All of your photos look dumb -First pic looks like you have some sort of mental disability. -"Don't believe your friends, the last photo is the only one of the bunch that makes you look even mildly interesting." -I swear God is just getting fucking lazy with the humans he’s making now. -"I'm glad your friends can act as seeing eye dogs for you, you clearly can't see shit!" -"Someone put ""Thai ladyboy"" into the AI prompt." -You look like you’ve been in a fight -"Had you been born in the ww2 era , your father would have happily kamikazed himself in the guise of patriotism" -"First pic ok -Second pic ok -Third pic cute -Fourth pic damn those abs youre not a girl you a MAN!" -"You look like the guy from the ""Aerials"" music video by System of a Down." -"Absolutely disrespectful behavior, you all should be ashamed. Leave Young Hoe the heck alone!!!" -The last ones dumb? There all dumb -Out here looking like Mona Risa -me rike beach bery much -Those abs are amazing 😻 -You look like those ai shopping bots in japan -Pretty bad when you run into a wall and break your pubic bone before your nose or chest ever touches the wall. -You look like Olive Oyl came to life. -Her name is Ug Lee Ho -Looks like you are checking down and realizing the cold effects of shrinkage are true -"If you were the last woman on earth, every single man would turn gay and you’d die a virgin!" -I respect all people even if they are ladyboys -I bet her credit score is just as high as her car insurance bill -You look like that blue avatar that’s gone through chemo and lost his colours. -You look like short round gained 50 pounds during the filming of Indiana Jones -Damn if I make a racist Asian joke then I’ll roast myself too since I’m Korean -I think you misspelled board. Perfectly describes you. -Doing everything to maintain the stereotypes that Asians women have tea bag tits. -You look like a 3rd grader tried to copy a Leng Jun painting. -No more Yankee my wankey the donger needs food -Remember when that dude said “You look easy to draw!” -I’m surprised they let you off work at the sweatshop early -Use the last photo to be rosted on p0rn subreddits too. -The last photo looks like your disappointed with your penis -No it's the 3rd one BBBRRUUUHHH your MUM and dad related????? -I thought the comments were a bit too truthful until I realised it was Roast me -You look easy to draw -You grease those abs up with the butter from your face? -Very artsy kudo on the abs I’m jealous lol fyi I know it’s not a roast but it’s my honest opinion -Hard body though -These are great burns. She never seen them coming -"🎶""WE GOTTA CELEBRATE OUR DIFFERENCEEESSS! -Ching Chong ching chong, ching. Ching chong ching chong ching!"" 🎶" -You look like you work in the same lab you were made in. -"I can't tell if you smoke weed, need some sleep, or some catholic priest got semen in your eyes again" -"Came here for the forehead roasts... - -Stayed for the rest of 'em!" -At least you know they def love you for your personality -Looks like negan used an ugly stick instead of a bat on this one -"Last photo is very nice but, now where's my dog at?" -You’re bathing suit top is pulled too close together in the last pic -Nice abs 👌 -WHY YOU NOT DOCTOR YET!? -"The funny part was where you claimed to have friends. - -That last picture looks like you don't quite understand how water works yet." -Bro I think mulan is having an allergic reaction -Are you stoned or are those just your eyes -It looks like you are trying to flex your abs -"""The Least of Us""" -She’s ab-chested… -Last photo: Cute and nice tone! -Sure you’re not Brock Lesnar’s half Asian daughter? Because your shoulders look like they belong to a quarterback -Yeah it's kinda shallow. You're tying to be edgy but it comes across as awkward to someone that's logical. I like your confidence that shows when you look at the cam or when your face is fully viewable. Keep practicing and try doing a complete black out silhouette vs lowlight with colors form your clothes showing in edgy photography. -Returning the fish smell to the sea! Great example of sustainability! ☮️ ✌️ -"Lying there holding the sign, you look like you’re auditioning for a Netflix series called Chronically Underwhelming. That pose says, “I’ve given up, but I want you to notice.”" -"That sweatshirt is doing all the heavy lifting, and it’s still failing. You look like you walked into a store, asked for the “unwashed college student starter pack,” and walked out with that outfit and a free pack of ramen. The smirk? It’s not mysterious—it’s “I just farted and I think I got away with it.”" -Um why are ALL the “roasts” racially motivated? We don’t see this type of behavior towards other posters of different ethnicities. It’s almost like the only thing you guys can say about her is that she’s Asian with Asian features. Another example of how racism against Asians are wayyyy too normalized. -The photo doesn’t look dumb. You do. -"Does your neck only work in ""askew mode.""" -"Your face looks like you just stepped off a UFO, went to the nearest dollar store, and purchased a black Asian woman wig. -How’s blending in with humanity been going for -You?" -"NGL, I thought she was one of those CPR dummies." -When did you start transitioning?? -Wow.... each of your eyes are in different zip codes -I've got nothing. -"girl you gorg. - - - - - - - -jk you not gorg you look like chicken" -"i don't think this letter ""F"" has to do with anything on the picture" -blud looks like my left butt cheek -This is extremely disrespectful. Take pictures with your eyes open next time. -Dude you look like this emoji 🌝 -You have a nice body 😜 -Do you still show up when someone plays that tape on a VCR? -Nice abs -The last photo looks depressed more than anything else. No wonder really since you are looking down and still seeing nothing there. -ET bat from Wuhan -"Minus fifty thousand social credits and three generations of hard labor for the family of whoever had the lack of self respect to smash you… Also, how in the fortune cookie FUCK did you manage to find your phone, access this app, find the subreddit, and post this with those coin slots you call peepers?! If you joined China’s special alympics, they might actually stop being fourth, third, or fuck even second hand losers to MURICA! It’s not your fault though, your parents probably loonie toon frying panned your face when you got a 99% on your multiplication tables test at two months old. By the way, would that consider being wacked or woked in your situation?" -I call BS on you having a friend. -OMG...its Julian Lennon! -Man get yo big hero six looking ass out of here...Bro you look like a blobfish 💀 flat face ahh hobbit you look like severus Snape you slurpee drinkin ahh clown ahh ugly ass chigga....I know u ain't wearing that goofy ass Atlabta Braves hat you don't even support them you go for the overpriced stadium food...you're the type of person to climb over a glass wall to see what's on the other side bro why are you at the beach when you can go to the aquarium isn't that where blobfish get held in captivity you clownfish cartoon ass character of a person. -Now the fish really smell like fish -Where's your eyebrows -Kim jong ugly -Do you need glasses your squinting -Ladyboy. -Get back to work on my Nikes -You look like a used cum rag that wasn’t washed well but still wants to be a mail order bride from temu… -"Your eyes say that your Dad may also be your Grandpa, and your last photo is your best because your face is not visible." -"Ik the point is to roast, but dang those breakfast rolls you call abs have been roasted well enough" -The last photo looks dumb. -My Temu order isn't gonna pack itself. Get back to work! -You absolutely adorable. So beautiful! God bless the parents who made you! -You look dumb -You're too gorgeous to be a man. -"With yo, ""Take me to your leader"", lookin' ass...when they let you out of area 51? - -You look like if someone grabbed a cat by the ears and pulled its face back. - -You look like you're from the original beetle juice - -I hope no one feeds you after midnight, no late night showers either you lil gremlin. - -Every body just stop being mean to her, she obviously just survived a fire and it clearly ruined her face! - -You look like if G'force was a person. - -Edit: that last picture tho..🎶 Umpa Lumpa doopity dash..you might be ugly..but I would still SMASH!🎶" -You look like one of the terrible choices I’m forced to play in a Star Wars game when the character creator lacks any good options or sliders -"the answer for when you ask your instructor why she calls you grasshopper and her response is ""because you ugly and look like insect.""" -Your face is so perfectly round that scientists can calibrate their instruments on it. -"For 49 years old, not horrible" -Who left that pancake on that couch -Tits of a ten year old chubby boy -You look like Auqaman as a young boy. -"Why yall coming for her race, tho. 🙄 girl you too cute, and I can tell you, young, how old are you pushing 16 or 17? Where your momma" -It doesn’t look any dumber than the 1st 3 -Last picture giving main character vibes -I’d hit it … with a brick…. It seems nature already smashed it. -Grandpa already roasted your family tree in the 40s. -comment -You look like you'd start a fight in the car immediately after any social event ever. -You look like a dog who gets bought its own plane ticket. -"23 my ass! I bet you have many Live, Laugh, Love embroidered pictures up and 20 year old kids called Mason and Tanner." -I bet your husband is using all his accounts to roast you right now -I don’t want any essential oils. Thanks. -Did you turn 23 20 years ago? You look like an MLM hun in her 40s. -You're the most 38 year old looking 23 year old I've ever seen. -"That's because he wants us to tell you all the things he wants to say but can't be honest about. Clearly a man of desperation, he's on the right track here. - -If your husband sees this... blink three times if you're in need of help." -"Bet your kids' names are Jaxon, Brinlee, and Eighmeigh-Leigh or some stupid shit." -Melissa Joan Heartworm -Mean girl in highschool who peaked as a cheerleader who was at the bottom of the pyramid at games. -"So, this husband, is he in the room with us right now?" -"Hey, say hi to Kermit for me!" -You look like you sigh during sex -You look like you spend 45 minutes putting on makeup to use the McDonalds Drive Thru. -Is that a decorative wooden plank? -"That is a Hard 23 jfc. -you look like a 35 year old lunch lady." -Being the best looking barmaid in Wolverhampton does not make you hot. -You look like your husband is in his 60s -Your husband is currently in the process of divorce while reading these comments 😄 🤣 -Your husband is an unlucky man. -I had a dog that had that same haircut... -You look like you got one crazy eye and one lazy eye but they got together and and worked out some kinda deal to get through it -Walmart Nicole Kidman -"Grey interior, yoga pant wearing, Stanley cup drinking long face MF" -This is the most surprised I’ve ever been to not find an OF link in the bio -"You look like you call the cops on black people who ""act suspicious"" when you ask them why they're in your neighborhood." -She's definitely stopped reading by now... but her husband has this page saved on his home screen for sure lol -"23 and married? Don't worry, the 2nd marriage is usually the one that lasts the longest." -Oh he for sure watches porn behind your back. -"Tell your husband thanks for fucking up this sub," -I can tell by your nose that youre overweight -You would or have shanked a bitch over a Stanley cup. -"This is the face of a woman who calls her kids ""littles""" -Trailer park Barbie. -You look 40 - Christina Rotten-Applegate. -23? Those are all city miles. -"He's only gauging interest to see if you have potential for OnlyFans, you do not." -If “unenthusiastic handjob” was a picture -"23? Life has literally pulled no punches, judging by your nose" -"Nighttime routine: - -Burn skin off in scalding hot bath - -Find a Netflix show to turn on to drown out feeling that your husband is no longer attracted to you - -Creep through a variety of pretty girls’ instagrams wishing she could look like them - -Pick acne for 20 minutes in the mirror after going pee" -"Look, you're still attractive for your 40s, you don't have to lie about your age" -"""Husband""? We all know there ain't one. Get that fake ass Temu ring off." -Unenthusiastic handjob instructor -She says the n word -Even your husband knows you are a starter wife that's why he got you that throw away ring. -Melissa Joan Fart -You look like a girl that gets cheated on a lot. -Does your husband live in your hair.. -Smart of you to not include your husbands age. We all know you were to young to marry him legally. -You are already boring and annoying and you haven't even spoken yet -"Tacky ring, off grey mono colored decor, caked on makeup. There's hardly anything worth roasting, you're the most basic type of boring cookie cutter person there is." -From the looks of you I bet your husband is curious too -Is your husband doing one of them long game fuck a pig challenges? -You and your dog have the same haircut -"Can’t do worse than your husband already did, rip." -That rings nearly as loose as your taint. -Religious sex must be so boring. At least he's got a good target above your eyebrows. -"Wow, he knows reddit at 86 yo ?" -You look like you would yell at the Starbucks chick for not spelling your name right -Great just what we need on our sub... another TROPHY WIFE! Too bad your husband got LAST PLACE in life. -Looks like your husbands already done his worst! -Its the Grinch that stole Prada -Are you the well-groomed shih tzu that took first place at the American Kennel Club Championship? -Oh Jesus Christ. I know this lady. She’s from Oregon. 😂 -I’m not good at these nor understand why people even do them. You remind me of a girl I used to work with at a houlihans who was an absolute sweetheart and one of my favorite people there. I hope these rude fuxks don’t hurt you too bad. -"Husband = 80+ year old, wealthy, excited to buy you gifts. You can’t wait for him to die. Amirite?" -Your husband has no standards and you have bad taste. The only thing positive thing you've done is save two other people from misfortune. -"You look like you sold out women so you could continue being an oppressed live, laugh, love decorator." -"It looks like the rest of your face is running away from your forehead. - -If your husband won the bet, would you have to sign the divorce papers?" -Ahhh. We finally see the best Wish has for mail order brides. -You look like you buy an enormous amount of fall decor that your husband despises -"OP looks like her crowning achievement is having 7 children, all of which have a name ending in -eigh…" -"Yall are brutal 😂 for context yes, I’m a 23 yo mom to a 1 year old, married to my husband (24m) for 3 years together for 9, and I’m a real estate agent. Thankful for this humbling experience 🤗 always remember to live, laugh, love and a starbies a day keeps the haters away 😇" -Fingers so fat she fat fingered a 2 instead of a 4 -Is this your payback getting roasted for burning him with the STI? -Is mayo too spicy for you? -A bad case of “Shitzu hair” -You look like you want to start a fight over why a pillow was on the wrong side of the bed -Your husband baited you to have us tell you all the things that he feels about you -Now we know why theres such a long waiting list for cancer patient hair donations... -That is definitely a fat-girl hand. Your husband should bet you to find a treadmill -Your husband is a real one! Tell him thanks for taking one for the boys and marrying the fugly chick!!!! -I bet that piece of wood above your hand has more personality AND youth than you -Zip up sweatshirt......definitely a big girl -Relationship advice: He's fishing for more reasons to divorce you. Start shopping now. You won't look 35 for much longer. -Complains that it’s hot complains that it’s cold when when really it’s her temper we’re talking about -"Your hairstyle screams ‘I get my hair done at the PetCo grooming station’. They tell you good girl, pat you on the head and send you away with a milk one between your teeth." -"You look like you were 23, 23 years ago." -I can tell you’ve made many men very unhappy in your lifetime -"That's a rough 43, use some filters and makeup next time, save our eyes some pain" -23? Dyslexia sucks. -You look like a golden retriever 🐕 -"Seems like your husband already did his worst, should we really?" -You wrote 32 wrong. Still not 100% on the F yet. -Looks like she would blow her friends dad just to get even. -You wear your hair like that to look young. But you're not. Stop it. -he got the internet to tell you everything that's been weighing on him for so long... Smart guy -Somehow your forehead is still taller than your hair -Look: it’s the cockatiel from the tv show Baretta -You look like one of those show dogs that can jump over barrels and hold one paw up. -"you look like you thought you’d be the exception to the rule and everyone would fawn over you. rly you’re just a basic bitch, who thinks she’s quirky." -You overcompensate with that ring the same way guys overcompensate with their lifted trucks -You look 43. -your dog is a Lhasa Apso -You're 23???? -More hair than brains. -None of the extensions match. -We have Ariana grande at home -Jojo Siwa if she ever stopped dressing like a fancy pool noodle and started dressing like a fancy new poodle -You look like the worst kind of Disney adult -your haircut is stupid. Thats the best i got. -Look like desperate. Put the smile away. Maybe you look better -You practice deep throat with your hair. -It looks like you were too lazy to do a good job scraping the popcorn off the ceilings. -23? These are City Miles in Bangladesh. -What does your rae dunn budget look like? -Garth Brooks just wants you to take the heat off him for a while -"Married and 23? Tell your future ex-husband, ""Thanks for your service."" Now, get back to those ""Hand-crafted"" Live. Laugh. Love. signs that you have to put up." -You look like you would pay us to subscribe to your OnlyFans -"Why do I feel like you adopted your personality straight from Alicia Silverstone in Clueless? Every conversation must be like nails on a chalkboard to anybody unfortunate enough to hear the drawn out inflections of every word you end your sentences with. - -“Like oh my gaawwwd.” You reading the comments" -Your forehead looks 23 but rest of your face looks 43. -"Your husband has a gambling addiction, and terrible luck. A bad combination. The moissanite on your burly ring finger was the giveaway." -your husband wants us to say what he’s afraid to -You will have jowls in 7 years -Did your husband marry you for a bet? Hope he got a huge payout! -"We’ll tell you what he won’t … Yes, you look fat in that outfit. 🚀" -"You made this post here to promote your onlyfans, but we all know you like cakes better then money" -I smell the cheap perfume through the phone. -What kind of rats do you have living in that nest? -"You spelled ""32"" backwards. Typical blonde." -Kermit the Frog bet you that? -You look 23 goin on to 37 -I thought you were a wannabe 20 year old 40 year old mom.. -Kinda weird for a 23 year old to go for the MILF look -You look like a 38 year old mother of 4 homesteader PTO secretary who is about to verbally harass a 6 year old playing soccer -"She made this post in this sub alright, but probably denied her husband sex all week." -You look like you like to shove multiple thumbs up your asss -Pregnancy clearly sucked the life out of you. -23 going on a very used 35? I see you got the halo setting engagement ring deal…. That’s a piss poor way of saying look at this small ass rock on my finger surrounded by little rocks to give the illusion of a being bigger than it really is. You’re not fooling anyone. -You look like you cause problems everywhere you go with your husband. -Your husband just wants to see us say to you all the shit he wants to say to you. I'm not doing the work for that lazy prick. Tell him to man up and do it himself. -you're 23??? damn your not gonna age well -Meghan Trainwreck -I'm 23 and you look like you could be my mom... -DAMN...baby spice fell off hard from the Spice Girls -Cindy Ew Ew Ewsville -When you're 23 but also a 68 year old washed up country music singer -"23 going on 43. You already look like you are dropping off 10 kids to soccer practice after your half box of morning wine. And yes, before you ask, you can talk to my manager." -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->I’m a lover of life. Give gratitude for life everyday. I’m a peaceful warrior and suffer from chronic pain but life continues to show it’s well worth it! Hobbies include flow arts mainly contact staff and I play rocket league, I use foot pedals and a wolverine controller. I do pour paintings as well and love to hike mountains. I got injured on the job snowboarding, a skier collided with me, I broke my neck, paralyzed my right arm (TBPI), suffered a spinal cord injury (SCI) called brown sequard syndrome, traumatic brain injury (TBI). I had many surgeries but the one that brings the most attention is my amputation. I chose to amputate my own hand for a taska prosthetic because my hand was completely useless and I got the chance to be part cyborg so I couldn’t pass that up! I got injured at the start of 2021 and spent 3 months in a wheelchair rehabbing and getting strength back to walk again and now I’m running it’s truly a miracle. ->Check out my Instagram and TikTok @chiefonepaw I single handedly deserve a follow 🤚 -> ->https://www.instagram.com/chiefonepaw?igsh=eWd5cnZpb3g1cTJu&utm_source=qr -> ->https://www.tiktok.com/@chiefonepaw?_t=8kuOdjTNZpD&_r=1 - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -You said no girlfriend but what I think you meant was you and your girlfriend are permanently separated. -I was thinking of something to clever to write but I guess we are both stumped. -I’ve seen bigger wings at kfc -Bro out here stealing all the good parking spaces -You look like something I’ve drawn with my left hand. -Face 8/10. Body 7/10. Hands 1/2. -Lost it in a high speed masturbation accident. -It's the six dollar man. -"Hold on a fucking minute. I have questions that need answering. - -1. That's your actual hand there in a glass box? They let you keep it!? - -2. Is that a chain with a little hammer on the end on the glass box? Is this a ""break glass in case of emergency"" situation?" -How the fuck does your hair grow on your shoulders instead of your armpits? -If you're happy and you know it...... -You have Michael Jackson nipples but missing the hand to Beat It -"I can’t even roast you, dude. You have your own hand in a display case?! That’s badass." -You look like you got jammed coming out of the printer -Take my strong hand -"You keep your own hand in a plastic bag? - -What, did you think you didn’t scare girls enough already?" -"Really committed to that Jaime Lannister role at community college. - -Edit: spelling" -Joe jonas is looking rough these days -“The suspect has been disarmed.” -I think god has roasted you enough -Lets give him a round of applause -Now you will never conduct The New York Philharmonic… but you could still play drums for Def Leppard. -"I ain’t gonna roast you bro. The internet is fucked. - -Mind I ask, what caused your disability? It looks like a motorcycle accident if I had to guess." -Doesn't have a job because he's NSFW. -You’re half the man you used to be -You must have taken quite a wrist to post here. -When they said “if you keep playing with it it’ll fall off” I didn’t know they meant the hand. -Respect. Your commitment level to creating an authentic haunted house is next level. -Looks like they also removed your jaw line? -You must be the neighborhood’s favorite at Halloween -No girlfriend and no right hand must be tough -"Your ""the stranger"" jerk off must be next level! - -Real talk hommie, I've been reading through the comments and you seem awesome." -Dude wtf happened!? -"Some girl out there somewhere wants to get stumped. You good, bruh." -No roast for you. Great luck to you -"""live at my dad's, no job, no girlfriend"". Yeah no shit. Didn't believe in God earlier today, but as of now I think he's real and he hates you." -"At least you get half off of all glove purchases. So, you got that going for you." -"......................................... Too Easy..................................... - -Takes alot of courage to post here give him a Hand 👏 👏" -The Jonas brother kicked from the band -"Life already roasted you man, stop asking for more." -"You look like cannibals started eating you, but you were so bad they didn't want to finish." -This is the one time I think God would actually karma my ass. So best of luck 😁 -Looking rough but still more likely to get laid than the average Redditor. -"Hey little bro, screw all these clowns here that’s messed up. Honestly! If you ever need help with anything I’ll be here to lend you a hand. 🤝" -"You’re standing next to your own “articulated hand” and that’s not the most fucked up thing about that photo. I’m at a loss here, chief" -"Man that sucks. On the other hand, you have a positive attitude and that's all that matters" -Some assembly maybe required -Had to learn to jerk off with the left hand huh? -Gotta hand it to ya man there ain't no way if I looked like you that I would have the guts to get roasted by reddit. -“‘Tis but a scratch.” -Moe Jonas -Nah man. Nothing I can say can rattle your cage after what you have been through. Although keeping your own hand for a memento is gonna be a real turn off for girls. maybe some goth chickwould think it’s cool -White walkers getting ready for winter be like -You let Stephen Hawking get more cooter than you? -You know he's done it at least once... -"Alright all that fucked up shit, but what’s that fucking shoulder bush?" -"This my strong hand - -*" -"I mean, no, I refuse but I like your bear print trousers." -Bro looks like Keanu Reeves if he was cast as one of the coffee drinking aliens in Men In Black -When you want to give long distance hand jobs. -"No roast. Instead a toast. - -OP. Your a true survivor. You've survived so many complications and still your breath. So many surgeries. So many issues. And here you are. Still alive. Still kicking stones on the road. I'm proud of you. You've done good. - -Keep living." -"Look at the right side, erm, I mean the bright side, you can always dress up as a slot machine for Halloween." -Anakin after fighting Dooku. -Jesus dude. I roast people here but that’s fucking gnarly bro. I surf and snowboard too. Can only imagine. I hope you’re doing alright buddy. No joke. Cheers to you man. Bad motherfucker. -Don't feed the animals! -Keeping the body of your girlfriend on a box is quite creepy. -How far has that stump been up ur ass? -I gotta hand it to you. Putting yourself here takes guts. -No roast wishing you the best -"Ok, but have you ever been elbow deep in someone? 🤣" -I can’t bro. I grew up with alopecia and It sucked. I can’t imagine. Keep trucking and don’t lose this sense of humor ✊ -Most people aren't going to know what those abbreviations stand for bro. -"Skiddy-mer-rink-a-dink-a-boomp, skiddy-mer-rink-a-doo" -"I’m not going to roast you but I will say that you’re a kicka$$ dude for surviving all the things you’ve been through. - -🤛🏻" -Joe boneless (jonas) -If Kevin Jonas looked like the music he made -Taking no nut November to a new level. - if they ampute anymore off of ya there won't be enough to roast -No one is talking about how he lives at home with his dad. What a loser move taking a hand out for his parent. -"Holy shit, this post fucking took off… -Like your hand." -I’ll show some respect and say this man is brave for posting to this page -"Good news and bad news OP. - -Good news, there are some extremely hot chicks out there with amputee fetishes. - -Bad news, there’s a lot less hot chicks with fetishes for guys who look like “Speedy Gonzales got hit by a car”." -Oh leave him alone he’s ‘armless -You like the drawing of an artist who doesn’t know how to draw hands so he/she just makes them amputee. -I can’t. See no benefit for you doing this mate -I would tell you to pray but it takes two hands. 🙏  -If your happy and you know it clap your hands -Trigger warning pls. Some of us are eating. -"Face 10/10 -Body 9/10 -Personality 10/10 -Hands 1/2" -"You guys are wrong, the comments should be disabled" -No “stranger” for you… -I think your description is enough roasting. -A few too many arm surgeries. -"Nah. I don't wanna roast you, bro. I'm nub gonna sink that low." -"you bring a new meaning to the phrase ""i have a bone to pick with you""" -Dennis Nilsen has respawned. -Who ordered the drumstick -"Guys committed to the longest throw, self catch world record." -"Not gonna roast you, just wanted to comment that having your own articulated hand is bad ass!!" -Even your bellybutton trying to escape this body -The result of beating it 4 times a day since 7th grade -let's arm wrestle bro -Whoever decided we had the right to bare arms sure as hell wasn’t thinking of you -Get a hook hand my dude -I'd shake your hand but ...no roasting sorry you don't deserve it. -I bet you still wipe with the stub don’t you -"This is a tough roast, can you give me a hand ?" -"You're making shit up at this point, all you have is mental disability" -You look like that flat guy from beatlejuice with that chest 🤣 -Comes equipped with his own turkey wing for Thanksgiving then can easily transition to Halloween. -And they said that circle jerk “would be fun”… -Why are you keeping your ex-girlfriend in the box? She looks handy. -"I just wanna know your story, not roast you. Tell me, what happened? Let me stare at your beautiful face while you talk let it all out ❤️ (I'm just saying You're eyecandy ;) )" -It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there like that. Let’s give him a hand. -Trailer park boys missed out casting this gent -I can’t roast you but the fact you have your own hand is dope as shxt -You still got a good spirit. High 3! -"Well at least they'll have a hard time cuffing you - -*Thanks for the...shiny bracelet*" -r/Nofap -"Bro, you look part centaur" -You seem like a handful -"I know this is supposed to be a roast. But You’ve got some nice hair my dude. -Like a joe Jonas, But ya know, missing a hand." -Dude looks like the simultaneous Before and After photos of a Shark attack -"Gotta hand it to you, this was pretty brave of you to post. Bet your nickname in college was stumpy just gotta ask where’s Ren" -Where do I buy those pj pants with pre tied draw strings ? -Not a roast but you really should give some girl a nice nubbin -Don't worry man. I'll give you a hand -Leave him alone. He’s ‘armless. -baaaaaby arm doodoodoodoodooodoodoo baby arm doodoodoodooodoodoodoo baby arm doodoodoodoodoodoodoo baby arm -Bro can’t even die right -Even your arm stump isn't as thick as an average cock. -"Get a grip bud! I mean, I got to hand it to you! I mean, ahh I'll stop I don't want to take it to the extremity" -"dude, wtf happened?" -"I am usually good at this, but ima need a hand..." -No fucking chance they let you keep your hand. -"OK you have some health issues to tackle and you’re an amputee, but you definitely ain’t ugly." -Bro sucks at two-hand touch -You really got dealt a bad hand 🤚 in life -Bros cooked -"Well alright man! Good for you! High fi- -Oh. Right." -I can't trust a man who won't fist bump with his right hand. Lefties are bastards. -And I thought I was fucked up with NF and a missing leg...God bless and I'll see about getting a telethon going for some biceps. -Your right shoulder looks like a hippie chick’s armpits because she’s so proud to be “natural” -"Oh, hi Forest Stump!" -Bro is trying to go for all the achievements. -Egoraptor really getting into the dark side of art lately.. -You may have no forearm but the balls of a bull kid. All My respect to you. -"Everyone's going for the low hanging fruit, but I'm gonna keep it like everyone else and stick to your appearance..... - -Benicio DelTurdo" -You’re certainly HANDling getting roasted well. -You could always start a handyman business or would that be a hand man business -"Why are you guys being a jerk to this guy? He is the nicest guy ever. He gave me a hand once, didn’t even ask for it back." -Everyone put your hands up -"Guys let's don't be mean to him he obviously needs a helping hand - And we can do it if we put our backs and spines Into it" -Body type of a slot machine -"Wants to be roasted, but he’s already falling off the bone." -Get sword arm -There is such a thing as going too far for a Klondike Bar! -"Nah, brah...no roast from me (other than the outie...)" -What’s your next disease? -"Idk if it's really a roast, but your arm looks like a fooking boomerang bro thats actually dope as shit" -I'm not roasting you dude it's sad cause u probably don't have a girl or job because of that hand or arm and that's bs. Hopefully you find someone that likes you for YOU -God must be so fucking mad you’re still alive -"We asked for handsome, not handless" -YAR ITS ME FOXY THE PIRATE FOX -"Takes balls to ask to get roasted, I got to hand it to ya." -i think you’ve had enough trouble -I bet you suck at guitar -Hahaha this guy doesn’t have a hand -Lost his arm in a fisting incident -nvm bro kinda looks like his momma fucked a pelican he look weird asl man -I can't do it. Life has roasted you hard enough. -"I love it, you are cool as shit you handless fuck" -"Please don’t, he seems like a nice dude" -I JUST FUCKING OPENED REDDIT MAN! FUCK! -How can we roast you when clearly god been roasting you for years -Knock off Luke Skywalker -"I guess you can't really work your fingers to the bone, hmm" -Articulated hand or amputated? -Did your moustache fall off and reattach itself onto your right shoulder? -This guys left arm must be REALLY tired -If that’s what happened to his hand feel bad for his.. -Wait hold up... that belly button looks familiar... -I’d give you a hand - but you don’t need it. You’re better than most out there. Get the hell off Reddit subs like this. -Just reminds me of the key and peele sketch where he's encouraged to roast a burn victim -How do you not have a girlfriend with that amazing articulated cock arm? -Cool pocket bro -"Dude, I wish I had your hair." -Wow Joe jonas's divorce cost him an arm and a leg. -Did you give yourself “the stranger” one too many times? Do you regret not just paying for sex instead? -How do you watch porn? -"If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands" -"Your right tiddy be like ""y so serious?""" -Let's have a hand for this week's SSI poster child! -Bro skipped arm day -I'd say he would be all right but that just isn't the case -Everyone give this man a hand he’s out here jerkin it with no hand to hold the phone -Fuck up your other arm then move in with your mom. -Give us a standing ovation. -Bro be looking like a twig with a broken branch -Why is there a bite mark above your collarbone -"Anyone who says anything bad about this man, is an asshole, plain and simple. Considering his conditions, he is exempt from any insult. You have to have respect for people in this predicament/situation. Look elsewhere to insult someone else. Insult and pick on me instead." -You look like you'd made a good wingman -Idk can't think of anything I might need a hand from someone to help me -At least you’re great with acronyms… -At least you look happy. -Vaginarm -"Nah, fuck all the nasty comments, don't even trip bro, 1 hand down? Least you got one left you can count on." -"You did all this so you didn’t have to work? - -Let’s give this guy a hand 👏" -"Bet when you get gloves, you get 50% off" -Right tightly…lefty ooooo. -"Notice how he didn’t say, “Lost my hand disabling a land mine,” or something like that? I think with have a Baby Ruth in garbage disposal situation…on our hands." -"Despite your limb lack, you’ve a slender figure and a handsome face. Wouldn’t be hard on yourself : )" -You’d be able to give the ultimate Rusty Hook. -You're the Wish version of Keanu Reeves -I think you singlehandedly covered it -Looks like some cannibal already did that to your hand bro I think you should get it checked out -"That's some impressive stuff -Let me give you a hand" -Jerked it too many times that his hand fell off -You should ask Joe Jonas to give you a hand -"No girlfriend, huh?! Don't worry, with that attitude they're gonna be lining up!" -Go go gadget dildo! -Post Obi-Wan fight wish.com Anakin -Not having a hand is a poor excuse for laziness on the gym. Own it -"You’re not a bad looking dude, put a ribbed condom over that thing and let the ladies see your potential." -"A crippling porn addiction is not solved by making yourself an actual cripple. - -What happened really?" -It would be better if you turned the ‘roast me’ sign clockwise a quarter turn. -"At least you can do a really good Anakin Skywalker cosplay. No girlfriend, missing a hand, floppy long hair. Now all you need is some third degree burns and two kids taken away at birth." -Bro has hair on his shoulders -At least nobody can ask you for a hand it would be kind of bad if ever happens. -"When you don’t study for a test at school do you just go in the next day and wing it? If you get to a question you don’t know, are you stumped? Are you good at pinball? Especially with the flippers?" -Do women often ask you to give them stump jobs? -You’re already cooked fam -"Nah i can’t roast this dude, this roasting shit is out of hand." -Thank you for your service 🫡🫡 -"You look like the little known 4th Jonas brother, Stumpy Jonas." -"Bro doesn't fist he stubs -He can't stub tho bc he doesn't have any b!tches" -Normally I appreciate a good hand job but... -"Dude, tie the drawstring on your shorts, oh wait." -Well....you've got those Betty Davis eyes. -I’ve seen chicken wings with more meat. -"Okay the fact you have the skeleton is pretty cool but I guess I have to roast you now.... - - - -Your nose is weird" -Every time he jerks off it feels like Skeletor is doing it -I can’t roast you. I find you very disarming -You could be the stunt double for extreme fisting porn. -"Why no girlfriend? She would love your ability to put your whole arm in and everythi- oh...OH- IS THAT HOW YOU LOST YOUR HAND??!?! - -IS THAT HER 🐈 ON YOUR SHOULDER?!" -Stop asking for a hand-out 🙄 -Wishing you the best for real -Not touching this one. -"Rex from Invincible in real life. - -Not even sure if that's a roast, it's just accurate." -I would but looks like life roasted you enough homie -You look like the failed fusion attempt of Drake Bell and Josh Peck. -Don’t skip leg day. -If you're dicks too small you could use ol' stumpy there -You ever do the stranger with that hand? Lotion that bad boy up and go to town. -comment -I see you allow your kids to draw on you -"wow, that's a lot going on. it must feel good to get a load off your chest rather than on it." -You're the prequel AND sequel to 16 and pregnant -Your 100% free onlyfans has the largest number of refund requests. -When will your kids divorce you? -"Your sports bra says ""my rules"", but you eyes say that ""any guy is in charge""" -Condolences to your kids. -You look like you have enough yeast infections to start your own Panera Bread franchise. -Every choice in life shes made had dick as a priority -"""30 years old, divorced before I was 25, overweight, unemployed, 2 kids and I've only found out I have ADHD and I'm autistic this year."" - -Sounds like a tinder bio, might as well add that your potential man must earn 6 figures, be at least 6"" and ""My kids are my world and they come first""" -That top isn't doing the muffin top any favors -"You should have them test you for OBCD this year, too." -Pikachu wouldn't choose you. -How is your face even more bent out of shape than your mind? -"I’m sure I can’t make you feel* worse, but your poor excuse for a pokemon tattoo certainly made me feel worse. - -Edit: left out the word feel lol" -"Listen shovel face… stop wasting what little money you have on blunt wraps and abstract rodent art. Astrologists do not count as dr’s therefore cannot make medical diagnosis so you should probably see a real one. A cardiologist, psychologist, and dietician wouldn’t hurt either. Gl out there 👍" -"If this is your resume for the Tuesday 2pm shift at the strip club, you’re hired." -"# ""30 years old, divorced before I was 25, will be divorced three more times, unemployed deadbeat loser, 2 kids from different fathers, and I've only found out I have made up my mental illnesses as an excuse to become an unemployed degenerate this year."" - - --corrected" -Well that's a relief to know that your thousand yard stare has a medical explanation. -internet diagnosed autism -Who else was expecting a onlyfans link in her bio? -Damn 2 baby daddies and ur still unemployed. What will it take for u to get up and take care for ur kids? Another baby daddy? -"More like ‘MY ROLLS, MY BODY’." -"Nobody: - -You: Hey everybody, I'm autistic!" -How tf do you find out you’re autistic at 30 -"If you dye your hair blue, you’d make a wonderful nonbinary fat activist 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️⚧️🫃🏻" -"Shut up, Meg" -All this and the bad tattoo screams cum dumpster with no father -"If you squint you actually look pretty have you considered looking for an Asian, drunk or visually impaired person for your next baby daddy?" -Is boxing a sport in the Special Olympics? Seeing you makes me wish it was. -"You look like you work at a farm cleaning up horse shit, and when you bent down to scoop it up, the horse kicked you in the face." -Someone had sex with a fat autistic adhd girl...twice -It’ll be easier for me to personally invade Iran than it’ll be for you to find a decent step dad -"Jesus, is everyone autistic now??" -"So basically, you’re irresponsible, a poor decision-maker, and hate taking accountability for your actions…got it." -Welcome to the self diagnosing autistic community of TikTok -Did your parents get to have any kids they love? -And you look like you’re a week away from stripping or setting up an only fans… good luck sl*t -"You got more red flags than a Chinese military parade. - -Feel worse! Nobody here really cares how you feel. What a drag on society you'll be." -"So many excuses, so little time." -Stick to anal so you don’t pollute the gene pool further. -Pokéballs aren’t the only balls you like to catch -What if this was as good as it’ll ever get for you. -stop 🫷 -Damn your prime was probably 15 years ago -Temu Gypsy Rose -"You should give your ex-husband a female dog. -At least he will have one bitch loyal in his life." -I knew you had the tism’ the second I saw pikachu on your arm -Chest like Spam out of the can. -You look just about desperate enough to give me a chance... -You are what they call a leftover woman in china -Who let Gypsy Rose wear a sports bra -"Being overweight and wearing crop tops is such a public display of lacking self awareness. - -Also don't worry maybe next year you wont be autistic with adhd." -Self diagnosis because you watched a TikTok video doesn’t count -"Just noticing you went through the trouble of nit picking and arguing with every single roast response. - -My guess is your ex now knows a kind of peace he never thought possible." -The Onlyfans ads are evolving 🥴. I guess the biggest roast is that it failed the first time and this time it's not working again because you're not pretty enough for people to take the bait. -Does every single person on Earth have ADHD all of a sudden or is it just me??? -Who in the fuck is telling all of these youger people that they’re autistic….what in the absolute fuck is really going on here 👀 -"Aww poor soul. You don't need to come to us for roasting. Just look at the mirror, it will do the job plenty." -Lana Del Wench -"You’re not missing their social cues, they’re just really ignoring you." -You make me question being pro life. -This girl is responsible for putting the “mid” in “mid-life crisis.” -Look at this ADHD having hoe looking for our undivided attention. You can only get what you give honey bun 😘 😂 -"Everyone on the planet has some form of ADHD and Autism, please stop wearing that like a badge of honor to garner attention" -There is nothing to roast...you roasted yourself... -"I'm not surprised you're divorced, I'm surprised someone married you in the first place." -You expired -You look like a pig from Minecraft. -"Like most ugly overweight girls, you did your best work when boys were going through puberty and had no standards other than ""girl""." -You should start an Only Fan account. There has to be at least one person that would pay to see you naked. -You were clearly a forceps delivery. -"Fake Autism and ADHD - now she has something else to blame for her shitty life, besides her weight." -"“Roast me” -*5 seconds into roast* -“NO NOT LIKE THAT”" -i tried to swipe left on my desktop computer screen -"Im assuming that “divorced, single mom, ADHD, and autistic” has become your biggest talking points in the past few months because otherwise you have no personality." -"Well, with that face of yours at least you're safe from STDs." -I don't know about ADHD but you've definitely got early onset OBCD -"All those words to just say - -30 years old, White Trash" -Calm down spazz -"""My body, my rules"" - -Okay....but that doesn't really mean much when your only rule is ""There are no rules!""" -"If you were on the Titanic instead of Rose, Jack would have been the one to survive." -Your sports bra says “My Rules” what’s the rule? Cum in me not on me? -You could have just said you want attention instead of all those words. -I bet you just self-diagnosed yourself after watching a couple of tiktok videos. -"Oh you're one of those, ""I have autism. It's my personality trait"" people." -MILL: Mother I'd Like to Leave -"Autism is not a discoverable thing that you just can find in any course of your life. Autism is found at birth. That’s your roast! Autism is not made to be an excuse for personal responsibility. you made your bed with your behaviors and actions and decisions. Now you have to live with them. The unfortunate thing is that you brought in an innocent human being into existence, without thinking through the implications of what your future life could be." -You forgot to mention the moustache of a 13 year old boy going through puberty. -Lmao do people do this because they have some sort of public shame fetish ? -"I bet you just have a short psychiatrist and you are not autistic. You may be adhd but at 30 it does not matter. - -You are just another “victim” who is being treated infairly by life…" -"Maybe find someone who cares, and not just online." -"30 yrs old, divorced, 2 kids bla bla bla (say no more, we get it.. everything is men’s fault too) just like it’s a man’s fault you decided to put a tramp stamp on your forearm for the world to see how much you’re obsessed with penis" -Overloading the dishwasher. -"You look like the poster child for Post nut clarity. - - Im also curious how many times you have explained ""what a great deal"" you got on that tattoo." -Keep making bad decisions. You are good at it. -I know that kids colours... -"How can I make myself interesting? - -Oh I know, I’ve got ADHD and I’m on the spectrum" -"Everyone stop scrolling, we found the cover girl for the DSM 6." -Hmmm…. I’m failing at life. I MUST be autistic and adhd. What a cop out. -This came across my feed. I wish I didn't Pikachu. -Body of a mother and the face of a father -I don’t think anyone can roast you when you made an OF and then a roast me post just to get subscribers as if we wouldn’t figure out your business plan. -The saddest part is that you could have been pretty if you'd have just taken better care of yourself and also replaced all of your face with a different face. -"Everyone is diagnosed with adhd, if you cant stare at a wall contently for a hour they think something is wrong with you." -Between that snow plow of a chin and that icebreaker bow of a nose you could have gotten some cool jobs before global warming. Too bad those jobs are going away faster than your dating prospects. -Ur next tattoo should say “our time is up…see you next week“ -Pokemon tattoo. Autism confirmed. I bet you like trains too. -You don't really look like you give a shit -I figured most of that just looking at the first picture. -Who actually asks to be roasted when that happens to them -When your kids got to take notes for you cause clearly you make enough mistakes -It's fitting that your username has potato in it -I don't think drugs could even make you feel good about yourself lol -RILF -"Don't worry - you and Zeke might no longer be a wife and husband, but you'll always be a sister and brother." -Its giving “girl that gave me a bj behind the Wendy’s dumpster” vibes -Living off of Alimony? -Proof that not all fat chicks have tits -You look like you've already been roasted...on a spit. -All the cliches without actually being a nurse? -"So miss, what's it like to be daddies failure and fuck buddy at the same time?" -Those June/cousin marriages never work out. -I would’ve thought you were at least 38-40. I hope that helps! -You look like the girl dudes cheat on their partners with and everyone sits and wonders what caused him to make such a stupid decision -Don't forget to add beautiful to the list too. And gullible. -"Awwww…..,.self diagnosed mental disorders. Eat way way to not put the blame on yourself" -"Well, I can see by the reflection of the ring light and the blank expression on your face that the OF career isn't taking off like you planned, either." -Don’t reproduce again -"You can't just blame fucking up your life on autism and adhd. - -You gonna make the rest of us look bad." -ADHD and Autistic... sure.. lol.... people really getting over categorized now n days. -"I’ve never been good at roasting anyone unless his name is Donald but I’m going to try to say something that’s just really rude and outrageously funny… OK? Ready? - -I really only think tattoo should be done in black ink. OK there I did it… I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry." -"Hey! That’s not ok to self deprecate! We should hang sometime, maybe off the second story?" -I don’t even think an OF can save you. -"“i’M aUtIsTiC” - -Clearly everybody is these days. 🤦‍♂️" -You've got a face for porn..... -The face of feminism. -You look like you're bad at onlyfans -"- 30 years old -- divorced before 25 -- overweight -- unemployed -- 2 kids - -If you don't find a job soon, you can add ""homeless"" to that list." -"Yet, you want 6’4 and 6 figures." -Don't worry I'm sure you'll be divorced several more times -tell us he was in the military without telling us he was in the military -You left out the part about the pikachu tattoo. -I don't think that I can fix you -How can you fat and skinny at the same time? -Conon O'Brien why is he on this app -You’re right. You’re doing pretty damn bad yourself lol no need to get roasted. -imagine being so down on life you get an pikachu tatoo to light you up -At least you're artistic. -Your face looks badly photoshopped -Who needs a personality when you’ve got a diagnosis? -One half of the face has its own lower elevation point -My god you have had more whole human hands in you than Elmo -You sure you aren’t leaving something out? Like the fact that you were born a man. That mustache outline and that face says it all…. -"It's all gonna be okay, just have faith in the higher power. God loves you. - -Now can I smash you🤣" -Love on the Spectrum candidate -You eat yellow snow -Penelope from Bridgerton gets more game than you -Did you post this before or after you went live on onlyfans? -"I bet you regret not dating that ugly nerd that asked you out in middle school, he would've prevented this." -"Chin up, love. Being 30 you still look like a snobby 20yo cam-girl" -"You just need to find you a man who's into fat, re+arded, financially draining chicks..." -Want to become a Single mom of 3? -Avg American women. -Lol overweight? Man some of the stupif shit you people post aren't even worth roasting -So...what you're saying is that you're single? -"ADHD is only a surprise if you’re autistic, usually it is obvious 😂" -Did you eat the DSM? -I mean ur not ugly. I'd smash -Did me of your kids do your tattoo for you or did you purposely find the worst ‘artist’ in your area? -Nothing worse than a pity roast for attention -xdosh.com -Overweight she says… the kardashian influence -So you didn’t have a mirror? -If it makes you feel better I only found out you were autistic this year too but I wasn't surprised. -She's a slow hoe... -Average dollar general employee -You didn’t need to explain anything. That Japanese cartoon tat on a grown adult says it all. -I don’t know whats worse your picture or that dreadful headliner paragraph no one gives a fuck about 👀 -HMU if you want to get the addys off! -"Your eyes say that you are willing to endure much pain rather than any loneliness. Not a roast per se, just an observation." -And this is why you shouldn't get married before you're 30 😂 -Looking like Mason Verger from hannibal -"You can also find her on the thread - r/shittytattoos no need to explain" -Ah yes. A self diagnoser. Not something I’m fond of. -I feel much better about my life now thanks -ADHD and autistic lol. Like becoming a preacher on the internet every girl in her twenties has got to have three diagnoses and a major trauma in their youth despite growing up in the suburban fantasy land. -Would (coming from me that's a grave insult) -Do your kids a favor and abandon them -You are desperate for attention. That is sad -"My body my rules: - -Rule #1 - You can do anything to my body if you give me the slightest amount of attention. - -Rule #2: View Rule #1." -"This is a facetious sub reddit,why are they recommending me here" -I could’ve told you about the autism -You make me question being pro life. -It’s funny you have a Yogi tattoo because you couldn’t attract a bear on your period. -Damn you only just found out you have autism? -comment -You look exactly like everyone expects an unemployed arts graduate to look like. -ellen degenderless -You look like you have to roofie your dildo -"What has the most holes, your face or your resume?" -Jobless is double redundant after we see your picture and know you have an art degree. Good luck at Starbucks or Onlyfans if you’re a chick. I honestly can’t tell  -But can you spell people's names right on their cups? -Don't art degrees come with Starbucks applications on the back though? -Ur probably really good at making protest signs for things you will contribute absolutely nothing to. -"25, F, art degree, jobless, predictable outcome" -"Haha, you said fart degree!" -Buttcheek chin lookin mf -Having a Deviantart Portfolio of furries doesn't qualify you as an artist tho -Transitioning went horribly wrong for the Milky bar kid -You're motto is 'still finding myself' which means always masturbating. -Both genders reject you -Does the 'F' stand for Femboy? -You answer the question: what if a robot nutted all over the face of a woman who doesn't contribute anything to society? -Jobless with an art degree?? Shocking. -"""Bisexual Harry Potter, master of dark farts""" -Your the reason why orcs and elf's don't fuck eachother -Your pronouns are fuck/off -"Art degree=long term jobless. Possibly even totally unemployable. Bit old to start training to mop floors at McDonald's. - -Better start looking for a sugar daddy that has exceedingly low standards and expectations." -Lonely fans. -"Are you a lady F or an “I have a cock” F? - -I need to know how bored I should be. " -"You told us you have an art degree, telling us you are jobless is just meaningless and pointless. You know, like your existence." -Come on no one making fun of thay chin! It's the butt of the joke! -Gender studies degree is considered art these days huh -I bet that chin can fart -The 'F' is for 'Formally male' huh? -Metal detector is very pleased when you make an apperance. -"So you paid to study to be more creative, -and still chose to look like that." -Leave some roasts for us -F?... -Yeah - just yuck. -"I've seen plenty of butt chins, but never one with a hole before!" -"Smart move destroying your appearance to match your ""neurodivergence,"" or whatever excuse you have for being a fuckin weirdo. Simplifies things" -"By looking at you, Even if you didn't take your tongue out, there was a 100 percent chance it was pierced." -You look like everything currently wrong with todays society -"No need to add the jobless part, we know" -You can blow your nose and wipe your ass at the same time! -"What’s the difference between an art degree and a pizza? - - - -A pizza can feed a family of 3." -"Hey, someone’s got to take up the shitty courses , otherwise who’ll pack my groceries and make my coffee?" -Since when has an art degree ever meany anything other than jobless. -Someone deflated your chin -Now I know a boy can be a lesbian. -I can see more red flags here than in a Chinese embassy -Washed up oxygen thief -Trainspotting's Sickboy on estrogen -Why do these failures at life always be the same? Strange pronouns overly attached to genders weird haircuts even though they are not longer 15 and buy still wanting to be rebellious. Is this just a white woman in her only 20s standard -You look like someone who did the character design on concord and I assume that's why you are jobless -"Where does the woman start and the man end? No one knows, that's the fun." -Went to college but don’t know the difference between male and female -"Let me guess, pronouns😑😑😑" -Looks more like an Altar boy -"After reviewing your photo, “art degree, and jobless” don’t seem very relevant to the topic title anymore - -“F” however, that was a key piece of information I could not get from the photos at all." -Definitely didn’t need to say art degree and jobless. Definitely needed to say female though. -What kind of thing are you? -So that Liberal Arts Degree shit the bed? -"25, F, art degree, jobless - -Does the ""F"" stand for failure, fugly or the other word that obviously applies to you?" -"Hi, sorry. Late to the roast... anyway.. what the fuck are we looking at here..." -What in the crimson chin -What do you expect? You can't get hired with a fart degree -"You could have just said art degree, the jobless part is implied." -Couldn’t find a job with an Art degree? Huh. -"Didnt need to add the “jobless” bit, you have an art degree so its assumed." -Fart degree nice! -You’re the reason people are against student loan forgiveness -We can smell you through this picture. -"Your pronouns are thee-thine tooth fairy. And your dildos pronouns are he, she, butch!" -Goonies never say die. -How do you turn on notifications for someone’s obituary? -"You could have just said art degree, the jobless comment was kinda redundant" -More like Fart degree with that butt chin! -"25, Fart degree, Jobless (no shit)." -Booty chin having ass 😂💀💀 -You didn’t have to mention jobless we could tell -Looking in the mirror is probably a roast enough for yourself -"F,art degree. It's French for fart" -You would be jobless even if you chose the most valuable degree for the job market when you're in a wheelchair -Typical -Ah yes the nose piercings of insecurities -You could be a stand in for Peter Griffin's chin. -"Art degree. I don't think you need any roasting from us, the life is going to roast you without our help." -Your entire personality is a combination of trends. You think you’re unique when you actually follow a crowd and every ounce of your being has been crafted by someone else -Besides 25 and F I inferred all of those things in your title -Bro get a job -Jobless….Genderless……Hopeless -How's climate change activism going ? -They crimson chin -You are 86.8% Nose -American Dad head shape -Definitely trans. So not F…M -What even is that? -"If you sent me the description of the piercings and the haircut , i could write all the rest myself without errors." -"Nothing says mommy and daddy paid for it like ART DEGREE. You know they were hoping you’d find a mate while they were wasting their hard earned money, right?" -i've read Fart degree. With this i would haven't a job too -Fart degree? -Art degree and jobless? Who would’ve guessed that? 🤔 -"No need to repeat jobless, art degree was a dead giveaway. - -Nose ring is probably the only ring she'll ever get." -Of course art degree -lol F/art degree 😅 -Fart degree. -All the extra holes and still only getting fucked by hiring managers. -Jobless. Not chinless -"It's kinda redundant to put jobless after ""art degree""...." -"25, Fart degree? You definitely earned it." -You’ve got a Fart degree? -Did you mean to add comma and a space between F and art???? -Jobless linda seems redundant in your description. -Didn't know there were college courses for farting.. -Be more careful around the tackle box next time -Art degree and jobless go together better than you and mental illness -Read it as Fart degree. -I want your superman chin -"Thanks, this picture helped induce vomit for my dog." -lol fart degree -“Jobless” and “art degree” are redundant. You’re parent (single for sure) must be proud. -You didn’t have to include jobless. We already knew after you said art degree. -I read Fartdegree -You look like the baseball player on a package of big league chew with that chin -"You look like the leftist poster child. - -What?! - -She does." -Just a heads up you don't need to tell people you have an art degree and jobless. We already can see that -Showing your holes will be the only way you will use your art degree -That butt chin looks like it takes big shits -"I mistakenly read this as ""25, Fart degree"", and after looking a your pictures, it might not have been misread." -Fart degree??? -You didn’t need to give us a description…. We can tell -At least you can blow your nose and wipe your ass at the same time with a chin like that. -i think u need uplifting not roasting in ur life -Im not so sure about the female part in your bio... -You didn’t have to say jobless. You can just say art mager -I could literally tell all those things just by looking at you. -"You don’t have to tell us you were jobless, we can smell." -"Hark gasp. A pointless degree equates to no employment opportunities. - -I don’t know what’s less shocking: that, or the fact you loon like every art stereotype ever thought of." -"You look like you have a major, oh sorry CoNsEnTrAtIoN, in gender studies and you are still confused on what gender you are." -"Spokesperson of ""you need to go this protest and raise hell! SILENCE IS VIOLENCE! Of course I can't go because of my neurodivergence and asthma.""" -your credit score is just as pathic as your degree -"With that face you're not Jobless, you're unemployable." -You forgot to add that you are in fact a vegan trans lesbian. -"You HAD to write F, or no one would have been sure." -"""Art degree"" followed by ""jobless"" is redundant." -"After reading ""art degree"",I was more certain that you're jobless than female." -hehe fart degree -I read this as 25 Fart -"So you wasted 50 grand to look like that and be jobless? -Good luck delivering pizzas" -25 Fart degree ? -Fart degree -My wife graduated fine art in 2008 after the financial collapse and then worked in toys r us for a bit she said it was the biggest come down ever. Sorry no roast there but hey enjoy your future career prospects -"It says 25 f art degree , gotta love it." -25 Fart more like -"Good thing you let us know you were female, otherwise there would no way to be sure by your pic." -"Let me guess, Kamala Harris for president?" -It's gotta suck seeing all these dark roasts. Must feel like you're at work. -You definitely have a fart degree -"Art Degree, Jobless - - -Pick a disability" -“Art degree” you kinda roasted yourself on that one. -Your chin dimple could house the meteor that extinct the dinosaurs -The pandemic’s over. You don’t have to cut your hair at home anymore -Saying art degree and jobless is redundant -Your cats can't wait to start eating you . . . -fart degree -Well you still have 2 more years to join the 27 club -"F,art degree" -"The DEI was invented for people like you, and you still can’t get a job…" -Only person I've heard of that bought a vibrator and broke out their two front teeth. -"When people ask your parents how your doing in life , they say “ she’s finding herself “ 🫵🏾😭" -"You already said Art Degree, the jobless part is implied" -This little piggy went to the unemployment office... -Read that as ‘fart degree’ -Save some pussy for the rest of us dude -Transition back -"It’s alright we all know you have rich, disappointed parents." -just here to see if anyone made a quagmire joke -Heh Fart degree -After meals do you wipe your chin from back to front? -Fart degree. Haha. Hahahahah. -Nothing to roast you about that your description didn't already say -Definitely was called Lewis before their transition -Why did you have to say jobless? The art degree was enough of a tell -We got that you was jobless from the moment you put art degree. You could always make money giving chin jobs to truckers. -Roast you? Your entire life is a roast… -Congratulations you have the most useless degree going 👏 -You look like you would comment “queers for palestine” under any video made by a Jewish person. No that is not a flex -"Surely you must’ve seen that description of your life coming?! A f*cking art degree, cus that’s gonna help you get a job in the real world. Then again, you definitely look a few strokes short of the full picture" -"Screams Biden voter and you don’t even know why you hate trump. Take that dumbass ring out of your nose, while your at it take out the lip one too." -Art degree! Lol 😂 your gonna be jobless for quite some time -Cool another girl jobless girl with a pointless degree -gee...can't figure out why your jobless? Maybe a mirror might hold the answer -"Honest to God, I thought your description was Fart Degree. -Then I saw your picture" -Where is trans waldo? Found it! -It looks like you bought the lies that stole your beauty your mind and your future. -The perfect Kamala Harris voter. -What do people really intend to do with an art degree besides work the register at Starbucks? -Lesbian fullstop... -Is that a little boy or another woke fairy that thinks there gender is a million different things -If Eminem and Peter griffin had a baby -I wish you wouldn't have given a description so I could've guessed -She's definitely the type of person who thinks she would have gotten more compliments than insults even tho she posted on roastme -Wow the Crimson Chin had a daughter huh -"The poster child for a liberal college education that leads to no job. The ubiquitous nose ring because ""I'm unique"". I bet your bedroom in you parents house has Kamala 2024 posters. Secretly mad Bernie got put on the backburner again." -Yea we know -You really didn’t need to put jobless after art degree. The degree said enough. -Normally when I talk to an art student I tell them I’d like a long black with no sugar. -Easy. Get woke go broke! -I first read that as Fart degree …and it still didn’t shock me -Getting an Art degree in this economy is diabolical 💀 -"You didn't need to put jobless after art degree, it's redundant." -Did you just assume your gender? -"25, Fart degree, jobless" -Welp. Time to make an OF I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️ -"We didn't need the info, we know." -You look like you ended up in the trunk of a car humming a Dido song -Thank god you put “F” because I don’t have been able to tell the difference -Jobless was an unnecessary addition.. art degree said it all -They /them - unemployed/unemployable -Art degree and jobless is redundant -Looks like you fell into a tackle box. -Honestly I didn’t even need the title to figure this out -"You didn't have to tell us about the art degree or unemployment. - -We can already tell" -"You didn’t have to mention jobless, we understood that from art degree" -You look exactly what you describe yourself to be but you’re very cute. I’m not here to roast. I don’t get really the roast thing. -"Read this a ""fart degree"" didn't even give it a second thought" -"You didn’t have to give details, the photos were enough." -Jobless is redundant😂 -"Yes, I’d like a coffee with two creams and one sugar please." -First time OnlyFans wasn’t a viable option. -"Well you met everyone's expectations of what looking an acting like this becomes, that's a win for validating it." -comment -The opening scenes of a BBC special on the most disturbing child trafficking ring in the UKs history. -"Huh, I never knew Shaggy had a lesbian aunt. Nice family pic." -Those double decker gums 💀 -gum and gummer -"You look like you yell ""no homo"" everytime you make love to each other." -You guys look like you take turns eating corn the long way. -"One of you can't go outside because of the sun, the other can't go outside because of Megan's Law" -Left looks like he just learned how to masterbate for the first time. Right looks like he taught him and is ready to celebrate with pizza rolls. -Penis and Butthead -Just fuck already and keep us out of it. -"The guy on the left looks like a 6 year old with the body of a middle aged janitor - -The guy on the right looks like shaggy craving dick instead of food." -The grime at the bottom of the gene pool -bro in the front look like hes trying on a child's dentures -Temu Frodo & Sam -“We have Shaggy and Velma at home.” -The last thing a sock sees before it gets used and thrown under the bed -Before and after meth addiction. -"Guy on the right looks like he’s never owned a razor, guy on the left looks like he wishes he could." -Y’all got dolphin teeth -Mark Zuckerberg’s aborted brothers -Your tiny teeth scare me -"Is that a Beard, or did you just fall asleep in others' dudes crotch after he finished💦 and his pubes got stuck to your chin" -Bill and Ted's homosexual Adventure -"Discount Shaggy and transgender, half-transitioned Elon Musk" -everyone here knows which one is the bottom -"You've dated for years, punched each other's V-card, hope to marry, and are obviously related." -I didn’t know Dream and Elon Musk were brodies -"You both look like you secretly love each other but are too afraid of each other. - -Remember, two bottoms do not make a top." -"Y’all look like y’all were twins at one point, except one started meth at 13(on the right) and the other one stayed on the straight and narrow until he went to prison for sexually assaulting a penguin at the San Diego Zoo" -"For the one on the left, a lesbian from 1992 called they would like their hair cut back, for the one on the right fuck you." -"Dude in red: embodiment of the phrase ""You rapscallion!"" -Dude with goatee: About to go eat a 14 story sandwich and run away from an animatronic skeleton -The two of you: Look like you are about to go to a community college and are majoring in animation and minoring... well nothing, your not allowed near minors. Not after the last time." -"Y'all star in a web series called ""Red Dwarf Rejects.""" -Dude in the right if peanut butter gamer was not a YouTuber -"I have never seen child molesters look so excited - and I went to a Catholic school!! - -Have fun boys... or fun with boys... Whatever, you do you hey..." -The one on the right eats the ass of the Edward Furlong-looking they/them woman on the left. -That mufucka got dolphin teeth -You two remind me of the oatmeal I threw away this morning.. Thick and Gummy -Canadian Magic the Gathering tournament semi finalists 3 years running. -PB and Jeff fell in some unfortunate times. -"One can't grow a beard, so the other in sympathy shaved his pubes and helped glue them on the others face." -One of you is a Disney adult. The other one needs to put the scissors down. -Try flossing once in a while. Your gums are quite swollen -Aren’t you both on Little People Big World? -The picture roasts itself -This relationship is doomed… two bottoms. -You two look like you swap your sisters’ underwear -The result when you cross an orc with a Hobbit. -the twins meth and crack -"3 years, I've lurked on Reddit, and you both are so god damn ugly it warranted me posting for the first time." -Itchy and Scratchy -Kmart Mario and Luigi with aids -"Dude on the left: Just because you have a ""fitted"" hoodie t shirt doesn't mean it fits. Let those chubby guns breathe brother. -Dude on the right: Snort some more adderall and I know you'd be more than willing to help him slide out of that ugly tight shirt and into something ""a little more comfortable""" -Identifies as He/Him and Dirty/Filth -Beavis and butthead real life! -"You want a roast? Fine here’s one. -Bunch of goofy looking silly gooses. Total knuckleheads. You look like pros at tomfoolery." -"Who can't be within 500 ft of a school? Ginger and Vitus, that's who." -This is what a girl who'd just been roofied at a college party would wake up to -Add them up and you’re still short from a full set of chromosomes -Jesus chisrt i didnt know that shaggy and scott primgim had kids -Lord of the Rings called. They want their hobbits back ! -When you guys fuck it smells like cheetos -My guy is rocking a JoJo shirt. Roasting him is not possible with that kinda drip on. -"Imagine being a Native American hundreds of years ago, never seen a white person, and then one day this shit just rock ups." -Jesus. The one on the left looks like the gay love child of Frodo and Elon Musk. -You guys 69 eachother for apple juice -You both peaked when you dodged your mom's coat hanger. -Nice to see Shaggy and Dexter from Dexter’s Lab all grown up! -This isn’t the homeless shelter -Happy pride month guys! -average hillbillies -You both look like you fought for who gets to be bottom -Frodo Shaggins -"I already swiped left on grinder, I didn't want to see that face twice" -Dude on left looks like crackhead Edward Furlong -"Hobbits belong in the shire, not on reddit" -You look like you play with each others’ pre-cum. -The basements have eyes -Gumbelievable -LIKE ZOINKS SCOOB GOT ANY OF THAT FENTANAL THERE!? -Michael Caines autistic nephew and Matthew Lillard's gingivitis are growing up together. Adorable. -I’ve never been more certain two people have buried a hooker together in my life. -"Red shirt looks like a discount Jack Black. -White shirt looks like he dresses up as Shaggy on halloween" -Merry and pippin took too much meth after the lord of the rings royalties went dry. -Crack Harlow -Tobey maguire and shaggy -You two look like separate people 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’m a shitty roaster -"It's time to get a new wardrobe. You're not in high-school anymore. - -Ngl yall remind me of some of the people i already hang with haha." -Look like a younger distorted version bam margera and Johnny knoxvile -"I’d tell the guy on the right to ditch the Jojo shirt and dress like an actual adult, but his friend’s trying to do that exact thing and failing miserably." -This roast won't burn as much as the gonorrhea you get from scissoring each other. -I think that red shirt or whatever that garment is needs to be roasted. Like burn that thing bro. What even is that? A short sleeve hoodie thingy. Looks like it came out of the wardrobe for Revenge of the Sith -The hills have eyes and big gums apparently -The guy on the left looks like Emmet from the Lego movie -dude on the left looks like the person that lures the child into the van and the guy on the right is driving -"Look like Fred and Shaggy, but the only mystery you’re trying to solve is how to lose your virginity" -"In all seriousness, dude on the right has gingivitis. Your gums are taller AND thicker than your teeth. And so red." -Weird losers -Your new bunk mates in the asylum waking you up for ‘pancakes day’. -You guys overslept the day God was handing out chromosomes -How often do you need to air out your room? -You look like you escaped The Hills Have Eyes then cousin fucked. -What type of orphanage is this -Looks like a shitty drug dealer trying to trick a 14 year old into buying oregano. -jack harlow lookin ass -It’s giving the before and after photos for trying meth -Why? -One of you If not Both Will Definitely jack r*pe your Fat cousin 🤣 -I have never seen a photo further away from deodorant -"Dude on the right looks like shaggy on meth, and the guy on the left must be the dog he fucks named scooby" -I don't need to. Genetics and the passage of time got that roast cooking. -You jerk it ill drink it budd -Yall look like the type to be arrested for illegally distributing cheat codes for video games -"nah, cant disrespect the gold experience drip" -“Let’s put in butt plugs and post on r/RoastMe” -I don’t even want to roast the middle aged lesbian on the left. I’m concerned she has a thyroid or circulatory problem. She has the proportions of a cartoon bully. -Scum and scummer -Lead Sheeran and Crack Harlow -Shaggy and his lesbian bf -Mouth open is the most effeminate way to pose for a pic. Dude on the right should grow some teeth for those guns and I can tell dude on the left needs to get that heart rate up if you are working out because the fat burn zone is 130-160. -"The first thing she sees when the burlap bag is removed from her head! - -Edit: and last" -You look like best friends and funny guys. -You are like the default image of what a pizza delivery driver looks like -The new Jay & Silent Bob remakes looks like shit… -Something tells me the one on the left has a skinsuit and the one on the right isn't allowed within 500ft of parks and elementary schools -"You fucked the squirrels morty! Aw jeez rick, was it your turn?" -Modern day wojacks -"Y'all def experimented with each other in college while on mushrooms (y'all weren't enrolled, just were diddling each other in the bushes behind the campus)" -I feel like this is what Julian and Ricky looked like before the trailer. -Y’all are the TEMU dum and dummer -"Can't be bothered to come up with a decent roast, but why do you both look like cardboard cutouts? Particularly red shirt guy?" -"""Bro, it'd be hilarious if we jerked off in each other's mouths."" - -""Stop! How are you reading my mind bro?! But we gotta stare deep in each other's eyes when we do it."" - -""Haha! Yes! Thus is gonna be so funny!"" - -""The funniest thing people have ever seen! Going Viral for this!""" -virgin jews -he's my fwend -“Top lips have left the chat” -what did my guy on the left do to his barber for them to mess him up that badly? -Dipshit on the right looks like the Aurora movie theater shooter if he became homosexual -One on the right looks like my brother. -On the right he has the tiny teeth and big gums that’s all balls no cock -The dude on the left looks like he got 23 personalities -Tweak and Tweaker -Piss -"Are we supposed to ignore that disgusting looking floor? - -How can you stand laying prone bone on that with your buddy?" -Jesus -"Left looks like their transitioning into less of a bitch. Dude on the right looks like if he bit you, you'd gain the ability to sense all the children in a 3 mile radius." -Peado and Peadoer -Your teeth and that dudes face both have massive foreheads -Alien called. She wants her inner teeth back immediately. -You and your brother had sex after this picture didn’t you? -"I mean listen, you're giving us too much to work with - -The dude on the left looks like a lego character when you give them different hair, he also looks like he used to have a plushie youtube channel called ""James Sonic Studios"" - - -and the guy on the right is, well, a weeb (Giorno shirt) which explains the inflated gums (like yo gums so inflated your teeth look like they've shrunk) and the plaque spreads like peanut butter. - Plus he looks like the Dream equivalent of the mr Breast ripoff, fever dream ahh mf - - -Also those bed sheets must be crunchy (jizzing incident) which is why you don't make your bed" -"Two white knights, ready to simp over any female that talks to them" -Y’all look like you just both drank a five gallons of Mountain Dew and I love it -When your chosen career path is both child entertainer AND child molester. -You look like 2 guys who hang out in the middle of a swamp somewhere then capture college kids who were unlucky enough to cross through your territory -God already did enough of that when he made you 2 -Crackhead with his youth pastor drug dealer -Bend over so we can talk face to face -Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dipshit -Shaggy and Frodo -Ya’ll look like the before and after for a product that made things worse -Why would I roast shaggy and scooby you already look roasted -Is your nickname ‘gummy’ by chance? -I can’t tell who the pitcher and who the catcher is -Dumb and Gummer -Monster energy should have you at the forefront of their next media campaign -You look like the robbers from home alone -Lord farqaud and shrek -Is that a short sleeve sweater? Why? -"We pop pimples on each other's asses with our tiny teeth for foreplay. ""It's like a million tiny ejaculates on our giant gums, yum pimple spouge!"" ""Honey. when you fart, it makes me horny AND hungry!""" -Gingivitis -Just two unremarkable easily forgettable dudes -Dudes still waiting for his big boy teeth to come in. -You look like you try and lure children into your white panel van with “candy.” -You look like velma and shaggy from scooby doo if they did fent 💀 -Brush your teeth! Godamn! -Dude on the left looks like a paedofile and the victim at the same time. Dude on the right wants to be the victim -All I can see is a budget Canadian version of Bill and Ted. -"The guy on the left looks like Tobey Maguire after starting alcohol widthdrawls - -Guy on the right definitely forces rats to pay rent." -U two suck each others cocks while watching anime -"Guy on the right looks like Shaggy's autistic cousin, Shuggy." -Yep that’s a trailer -Dude In red looks like Morty when he had the big arm 😂 -Guy in the right looks like he crawled out of tommy pickles diaper -Well well well. If it isn’t the Blowjob Brothers -Dolphinteef -u both look adorable btw the guy with the beard kinda looks like dream -Brojobs -I feel pretty confident that you’re siblings. Yeah? -You got a licence to carry those gums? -"Can’t, im scared." -You're both the DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) but one gives cop vibes and the other is giving smackhead -Literally looks like he got dropped as a kid🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 -Motherfucker on the left got some arms -"That room must stink of bong water, failure and masturbation" -Dang I misspelled you -tell me you're ready to bite a baby without saying it -I wanted to see the news not animal planet -The guy in the white shirt has such a unique beard. I want to dip it in my favorite color and use it to paint my basement. -The Crack Street Boys -"You dudes both transitioned reasonably well, left used to be a woman and right used to be a horse." -"The chick in the red shirt looks crazy, like she enjoys asking for the manager." -"Nice shirt, Giorno Giavirgin." -"You guys look like you are young, having fun, and don’t give an shit. I’m actually jealous and I’m glad you found each other. There is no other feeling quite like brotherhood. Enjoy your time together before your bad choices catch up with you and turn your lives into nightmares" -"My girl said she would let me shit in her pussy and she would eat it out herself before she would sleep with either one of you for $1,000 a piece that's fucked up I think I'm fixing to break up with my girl" -"The guy on the left went to the tailor and said ""make me a shirt that has a collar and a hoodie, but they should both make the shirt look like it's being worn frontside back and inside out at the same time"" -The guy on the right walked into a barber shop and kept walking out the back door." -If homo could be people? -Red shirt is confused about their gender and I know the guy on the right smells like shit 100% of the time. -Jacking off together for 30 years -The dude wotht he stubble looks like grover underwood as a human -"I can't believe that your punchable zoomer faces are still coming up on my feed. People must really, really hate you guys. (Which, granted, is probably no surprise to either one of you.)" -Looks like they have a top ten list of favorite house hold items to fuck -"I sometimes click on this sub to post something witty then look at the first comment and say, nah, my job has already been taken care of." -It looks like they’re rebooting jack ass but it’s fap ass. -I don't even know wtf I'm looking at. -Sad the things Shaggy will do for a Scooby snack… -Mom...Dad... Jermey and I are together -“You better believe we’re firing up the Eras Tour tonight!” -They definitely live in a trailer park -The lesbian on the left and her gay twink son -Autistic Horses 🐴 🧩 Can I get a *NEIGHHHHH* man -They are two dungeons and dragons fanatics -How the Whitakers started. -These are in fact the whitest kids anyone knows. -It's Harry Potter and that kid who plays shaggy - only from wish.com -"Guys this is the TV show, ""How I met your father!!"" I love this show!" -POV from victims of Larry and Gary Hall ... -Where’s Harry at though?! I see Mo and Curly but the trifecta ain’t complete! -Put down the crack and walk away from the phone. -I’m gonna wake up tied to a chair and you to are gonna be standing there with some devious idea to force me into a man sized cannon and shoot me at some public official along with some pudding or something -Guy on the left looks like AntVenom in his old videos -You could replace your vertically challenged teeth and slenderman gums with the bacon stripes with the fat-rolls on them and not notice a visual difference -"I will delete this photo from my memory, I allready have a bacterial infection and I dont want a virus in my brain." -Council estate Ant & Dec if they were brothers and fucked their father. -Bitch Cassidy and the post-trans kid -Elijah Wouldn’t and MatthEw LilLard -"I'm so glad you finally got your cut rate sketch comedy duo off the ground. - -Sadly, That Mitchell Webb Look already exists." -You two kidnappers ain't promising -Velma and shaggy really let themselves go... -Scratch and Sniff -Ya'll didn't have to murder the starks at the wedding just cuz they were prettier than you. -2000s stoner comedy ahh selfie -Their shaggy and Velma -Mork Zuckaturd and Shogqy. The team up we never knew we didn't need. -You are both the guys who say “I will do anything for a $1” -You look like a Comedy Duo that was doing great interstate but went broke when they toured into the big city. One looks like a 12 year old white kid in an adult's body. The other has a gum line greater than my future. -Lego hair and Letgo hair -Scooby Dooby EW -Ones drives a Subaru and one’s gum line is worse than their hairline. -You are awful. That is all. -I can't decide which one of you is wearing the weirdest outfit. -Maybe if you titans eat some more people you finally be able to return to you human form -"Gotta be honest, new Scooby and shaggy look like shit" -Why? What would be the point. -Holy hell! Dude on the right looking like a Jackass character with 30 years of rehab fighting under his belt -Who lost the adderall arguers or robotripping distant cousins that both bought the wrong bottles and aren’t “feeling it” yet. -"Oh look, it's methed up Shaggy and the kid he picked up with a free candy sign on the Mystery Machine." -Mal Cop goes on Vacation with Krusty the Klown -"Guy on the left looks like he was created by an AI, dude on the right looks like Dream if he was a stoner." -Guy on the left looks like if Shaggy never tried weed. The other guy just looks like regular Shaggy. -"Ellen takes a selfie with the lead of the self funded scooby do spin off docuseries ""the scooby snacks were meth""" -Laverne and Surely that's supposed to be a guy right? -What a cute couple. How many times have y'all docked today? -"If gums were teeth, you’d have better teeth." -Megan's law is prolly posted to your door every morning... or at least it SHOULD be... -Wreck it Ralph and scooby doo mashup -Looks like two Garbage Pail kids with gingivitis. -dream and mark zuckenberg collab? -"It looks like you guys might be into this, but you could practice mutual flossing" -Bathroom enema bros for life. -"Between the two of you, in miles, feet and inches… how much cock have you sucked?" -Bonnie and Formaldehyde -I bet these two are jerking each other off while reading the comments.. -Is this pre or post reacharound pic?? -Which one is Chaz and which one is Dave? -your gums are so swollen please floss for 3 days in a row -"You, on the right, should really consider better dental care. You look like your average meth addict from Lousiana" -Shaggy got another chromosome and some dude he probably met when he was high. -"One looks like Bam Magera on even more meth, and the other looks like a lesbian cosplaying as Elon Musk" -Nothing funny about incest -Jesus fucking Christ -I ain't doing God's work. He's done enough. -Dream and Nolan but deformed -Fug Fugly and Snortz Anyfing. -Bam Margern't -Your picture should be listed under colon polyps in a medical book. -The guys you hire when you have to do a re-enactment of a child abduction for your YouTube channel but aren't allowed within 500 feet of a school. -Virgins -You guys look like PSA video content for what happens if you don’t clean your foreskin. -You look like you own and operate white minivans around playgrounds. -"Guy on the right, did you know your mum on the left is a lesbian? Not that there’s anything wrong with that." -The aftermath of the drugs from 21 jump street. -The fucking cavity on the front tooth is atrocious. Give it 2 years and you’ll look like someone off of ‘the hills have eyes’. -When you find out that the Jackass guys really had underpaid stunt doubles. -Trans to tans 😆 -If you two were anymore inbred you'd be a sandwich. -"Are your names Neil and Bob, or is that just what you do?" -You teo look like you develop undertale knockoffs -The laundry in the background and your obvious lack of facial cleansing hygiene leads me to believe you both have had competing amounts of staph infections -Looks like a lesbian in remission from cancer with her brother who has gum disease and chronic virginity. -Fucking Shaggy and Ron Weasley better not be having a four-way with Scooby-Doo and Dobby -they definitely share a van with a dingy mattress in the back -Somehow i can actually smell this picture. -Y’all are inversed these 2 https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/986HuOEms2 -Bone Jett (Joan Jett mid-transition) and Matthew Billiard (because you just boofed an 8 ball)... Zoinks! -I won't be surprised to see you two on dateline with Chris Hansen. -You're more autistic that me and I I thought that 1+1 is 3 -Shaggy’s teeth are holding on almost as tight as Humpty’s belief that their lives mean something -"Well for starters red shirt looks like he can’t step 10 feet near a kids school, and for curly haired guy welcoming to the stage for the first time the first ever autistic death metal band ever ladies & gentleman I present to you the one man band known as ERRRRR" -comment -"You look like you strategically engineer ""breaks"" with your boyfriend for when your older brothers friends are home." -This chick gives head with gum in her mouth -How many fast food restaurants fired you for incompetence? -Trying to be an influencer while you're being trafficked might not be the best idea 😐 -"If Jenna Ortega is Wednesday, this chick is a musty Thursday morning" -You need to be 18+ to get roasted. -"Face of a 40 year old divorced mom, body of a 12 year old" -onlyfans link in 3...2...1... -Blink twice if you’re being trafficked -You're the female lead in every indie film that makes terrible decisions while everyone else pays for them -"Covid-19 is no longer considered a public health emergency, so there's no need for your eyebrows to still be social distancing" -Pic 5 your biceps look like a bird shit on a washing line -Oil McPoyle -First date anal vibes… -You look like that bro's lil sister we all secretly had around with without him knowing. -The practice girl vibe is strong in this one. -"Wow, teacher arms already" -"I like you, but why did you shaved the middle of your eyebrow?" -"No, A. You want free attention. -B. You need free attention." -How many generations of incest were required to get that level of eye spacing? -"You can be a great “girlfriend” experience girl !!! -Try that for a summer" -"I hope you marry a plastic surgeon, fixing this shits gonna be expensive" -One of your tits is bigger than the other -How did you fit 100% of your face on 50% of your head? -Has one facial expression. Dead and headtilt -Am I supposed to be responding to these or what -Cookie cutter basic brunette al carte. You totally cook chicken without any seasoning. -OK sausage fingers. -You have the head to body ratio of a Bratz doll -pick me -In the third photo you look like the offspring of Tyrion Lanaster. -"Trying to level up from pouty toddler to a ’90s model, huh?" -The distance between your eyebrows is equivalent to the diameter of Garfield's stomach -Your nose looks like a Ferengi. -The darker the light - the better for you… -She already stole your hoodie and keyed your car for anal izing her… -Yeah I thought there was age restrictions. -She's one puff of the pipe away from selling her ass for 3 fitty -how many times you've been tossed around your guy friends when y'all plan to go on a wilderness camp. -"Damn girl did you swallow my door bell? - -Because your breath smells like my ding dong." -You have more biceps 💪 than teats ! -Ah yes the last one reveals the donor that you are then -You asked in a previous post if you have fat hands or short fingers. The answer is both. -"You can see it in her eyes, she would cut your dick off while you're sleeping." -Your duck lips are bigger than your biceps. -I don’t think there is supposed to be 3 inches between your eyebrows -megamind on crack -Rosie the Rimmer -You look like Angelina Jolie with more chromosomes -I liked you in The Ring -"I know a poor, desperate, Slavic woman when I see one. Sorry no mail order bride for you." -You look like you’re about two seconds away from either zoning out or asking where your juice box is. -How expensive were the lip fillers? -Always the booty call never the wife -WHY THE LLLLOONNGG FACE? -"MILF!!!!!!!!!!!! - -Maintenance is Likely Fatal" -What do ya still watch Garfield or something? Boom roasted! -The only thing thinner than you is your wallet. -Smella Purnell -Still in kindergarten? -Isn’t it past your bed time -Roasting you might be considered child abuse. -You look like a high grade chzech escort -You did a great job as a decoy in To Catch a Predator. I give you credit for holding it together when your dad was busted. -You got the edge of a butter knife. -Has anyone ever told you that you have fat hands? It’s the first thing I noticed. -You know damn well that bra is false advertising. -Looks like the girl in High school with way too many horse posters in her bedroom -"So you do your own hair, good for you!" -Your parents are pissed they didn’t use birth control -Itty bitty titty committee is callin! -I like how either your hair or your phone covered part of your face in each picture so we didn’t have to see the whole thing. -"You will make a cult leader happy one day... your addictive personality makes you a pleaser. But don't let that deter you from believing your OF page will be a success. Remember, teasers dont bring in the money." -You're the friend the other girls invite out to make themselves look better. -Somehow bighead returned…. -It’s like if the phrase “I’m *not* crazy! He shouldn’t have cheated on me!” had a face 🤣 -Those tits are smaller than the chance of me getting laid -If those eyebrows were any thicker you'd have a winter coat -No nut November didn't go very well for that forehead -face of a middle aged woman and the body of a 10 year old girl -Did anyone else see her right leg straight up in the air in the first pic? -Why is your nose so crooked -"You definitely give off those “fighting with you because you cheated on me in my dream” vibes, bet you’re proud of it too" -"Most low-effort, poorly-planned soft launch of upcoming OnlyFans in history. The earlier misdirection “not an OF girl” only other post about your hand is sad. ☹️" -Temu B-List version of Sasha Grey -She is a Russian mail-order bride that was returned -"This is the image that pops up on porn sites saying ""Russian Girls Want To Fuck!""." -Too bad your hands are fatter than your chest -Children shouldn’t be on this app. *Reported* -Does your dad let you screw other people besides him? -You just know she has a mouldy retainer -Jenna Whoretega -"You look like the generic default that the Create A Character screen starts on. - -Like genuinely you are the most generic ass looking thing I've seen that didn't have Great Value printed on it." -Forehead so big she knows what tomorrow nights dream is -Looks too young to be the subject of a roasting. Even for reddit -You have zero self confidence. Get off social media. -Not sure if you’re going for mysterious or just forgot to finish getting ready this morning. -i hope she’s at least 18 with all these comments yall are throwing at her… bc she looks like she’s in middle school fr -This Easy A needs Ds -You’d do better selling feet pics than face pics on OnlyFans. -You look like you're well known to the front desk clerk at the nearest hotel to your local military base. -You look like someone whose “uncle” touched one too many times -One day you’ll be out of your training bra -I can see you boiling my kids pet rabbit on the stove -Do your eyebrows catch and eat birds when you're outside? -You definitely gave hand jobs in the back row at youth group -On the 5th pic did you really think you got them gains? You need to fill them biceps up. Meh… but you could fill that chest up a little as well. -With those bags under your eyes looks like TJ Max left his nuts on your face -your eyebrows are divorcing faster than your parents -"Beautiful girl, cool shirt. Garfield loves lasagna, make some, feel better;)" -"You look like you apologize when you fart, even when you're alone and on the toilet" -"why are all replies to ""roast me"" just a rewording of ""you're a whore"", like, she's a normal girl i don't even get where that comes from and why it even is the most popular reply, isn't this supposed to be creative?" -Looks like guys will often stop having sex with her midway through because they’re bored. -That third video looks like demonic possession -Don't need to roast you. You did it yourself with pics 2 and 5 -Even your personality extends to your meth pipe -A face only an uncle could love -"So, is the ‘fake it till you make it’ look working, or are we still pretending you’re sophisticated?" -How many guys do you call daddy? -Olivia Rodrigu-no -Sulk Hogan -"You're definitely into some weird shit, you just have that look about you. I bet when you stay over your boyfriends place you probably go through the bin in his room trying to find some cum filled tissues to take home and froth over. - - -Just huffing dried cum while foaming at the mouth and flicking your bean, eyes glassed over looking like you have rabies..........disgusting." -Beauty school slop out -Saturday night special. done with and home by 10 before her mom gets upset. -I hope you reported whomever punched you in the face and gave you that unsightly fat lip -Are the niece of a the actress in a Hallmark Christmas movie? -You look like you've mastered the art of giving wanks with your bum cheeks. -Tell your 36 year old boyfriend it's illegal for you to send those kind of pictures. -Do you have 18 y ? -3rd pic looks like jenna ortega from shien -You fall in love with every guy who pays you for sex -Arms weaker than cooked spaghetti noodles the flex is insulting you enough -Looks like she just stopped breast feeding yesterday tf go to bed -"I Feel bad For The Garfield Shirt, i Would Be Lookin Shit, hazy, And Tired if I Was On Your Shoulders, yo Flex Built Like A Broken Half Of A Cheez-It" -Why do you have a vagina on your armpit? -Craigslist men offer to pay you not to speak. -Looking like a casting couch model tbh -İ would not offer you a drink if we met in a bar -Attention seeking like some shit. Begone jezebel. -Sorry we already filled the part for Wednesday. Better luck next time. -"Sweetie, that pose says 'I'm too cool for this,' but we all know you spent 20 minutes finding the right angle just to flex on everyone with your Target tank top." -I hate these only fans soon accounts especially when it’s a girl who we do not want to see naked. -Billy Not So Stylish -giving carbon copy of *I'm not like the other girls* -Isn’t it past your bed time ? Parents need to adjust the child mode ? -Who else thought the poll was her arm when scrolling down -String bean depressive wannabe -Thank abortion for keeping this bitch simi attractive -"She doesn’t post for likes, she posts for life support" -I usually see humans get roasted but there's a first time for everything -edna mode -If couldnt boil water wore a tank top. -great DSL’s -Diddy’s gottaway -Your boyfriends put a bag on your head to fuck you -Rosie the Riveter just got more masculine. -We found the secret identity of the super hero Spaghetti Arm Girl. Taking selfies next to the corpse that she was unable to save since 2020. -"You look like a caricature artist, made a picture of Margot Robbie from memory" -You speaka spani? -Idk why everyone here says she is being trafficked. No one would want her -Fat handed bitch -E -You look like dan schneider saw your feet but didn’t find you cast worthy for a shot as an extra on I Carly -"Looks like you have been busy with your head than your Hand, it's like someone kept a well-cooked Turkey with a Baby Fork to eat." -"You wrote your slash wrong, dumbass." -You’ve definitely driven a guy to an ATM so he could pay you for some ATM. -"Goofy little slore comes on this page for some attention you can't even hold a dick with those small hands. -You look like you are fucking trees." -"Pretty enough to be a teen mom, not pretty enough to make money on onlyfans though unfortunately." -Parents cant wait for her to move out and turn her dirty room into a entertainment room -you’ve got short hands and fat fingers but don’t worry about I am sure you’ll grow into them -Nose has strong Michael Jackson vibes -You look like you get fired on your day off. -The title says it all...how you please someone must be shortened for everyone's sake -Get your 14 yr old lookin ass on -Lol dem tits as flat as them arms and ass -"Does it ever bother you that if you make an OF, you're an OF Thot, and if you don't make an OF, you're a pick me good girl. Go ahead, keep flexing for the camera and finding ways to prove you're strong. You'll never know if it's true. Also, gaslighting isn't real, you made it up because you're crazy...." -Looks like Garfield found something he hates more than Mondays. -You look like you live with your parents and your bedroom smells like a seafood market. -When you try out for Teen Mom and get rejected -"I generally don't insult 10 year old girls who wear Garfield shirts, that's a form of child abuse" -You look like youre gonna fall in love with a grounder -I see three divorces in your future because you just can’t stop chasing the Chads of the world. -You think you are a rebel because your mom told you to clean your room and you covered your mattress with the blanket but didn't straighten the sheets. -Mfer I thought that was your leg going up behind your head !! Hahaha -Красивая :) -"You look like you grew up around horses, but your family had to keep selling them to the glue factory because they couldn't afford to feed them." -You look like you make false grape allegations. -Are those Glory Hole lips? -That selfie’s got the energy of someone who thinks running out of lip gloss is a crisis and calls herself 'unapologetically me' right before starting drama in a group chat. -"Is it just me, or is the right one smaller than the left?" -Big gross sloppy fat pussy .... Garfield -Why do you look so miserable? Did you get fucked in the ass? -Too pretty to roast. -"You’re one duck face away from pretending you didn’t take 50 shots to get it right, just to distract from the fact that push-up bras are your best friend." -I'm afraid of her. She looks like she is fantasizing about hurting puppies. -"Nah, you look like one of the millions of other Romanian girls. Nothing unique or special to roast." -You look like you stick pins into dolls of people -She got that football shaped head. -Oooooooh I'm telling your dad -Someone said you are being trafficked. I can guarantee there's no traffic. -I am absolutely shocked there’s no OnlyFans link associated to this account. -Only if her tits were as big as her face -"Like Garfield would say, nobody likes a Monday" -Como le haría un buen brrrr a la muchachita -No -Is that what you call a bicep? -The classic situation of a 3 1/2 who thinks that she’s at least a Midwest 8. -With brows like that you must be Eugene Levy's illegitimate daughter -Call the police right now!!! And file a missing person's report on your titties!! -She looks like an ironing board. 😂 -"Andrew Tate must of let you out your content ""producing"" room for few mins to stretch" -Kendall Jenner if she went bankrupt... -How long before they can fix the underbite? -Чё не так! -Why the looong face? Nay. Naaay! -Girl- why you trying to flex? The only thing you flexing is that tummy -Yikes. -Sharkira? -If you were any more inbred you'd be a sandwich! -How far through the transition process are you? -She actually isn’t too bad looking -Your brows are so bushy you would have mats in them -No age. Mods should delete. -Did not know until now i could smell someone’s body odor through the internet -Mediocrity crying out for attention in the hopes that all publicity is good publicity without understanding the importance of overall media outreach. Meh. -Okay 10head -Wash your face..your last 5$ job is still smeared on it -"So are you one of those '$5, me love long time' or more like $0.05?" -You look like you would vote for Trump -Uncles favtoire niece -I dont wana roast you. Can I date you instead?🥺 -Hope your deportation goes well -You definitely don’t swallow or take facials… -You look like the sad pepe frog meme used a human filter -tiny tits + devil horns hand sign + garfield t-shirt = lamest wet dream ever. -AI ah pictures -I'd hit it -What’s that mutton smell??? -I'll bet your stage name is A$$hole Lavigne. -Come back when you're 18. -You make me rethink the guidlines for jailbait -They way she got her back leg up behind her is crazy 🤪 -You have a midget head -You look like you were you had an exorcism before -Hey guys r/roast me (but really tell me how pretty I am) 🙄 -Hurry up and jump in bed cause mommy's at work and daddy just pulled into the driveway! -You look like the Russian lady from Ukraine that’s in the hot singles ads -America could have used that forehead on 9/11 to knock the planes out of the sky. -If only women came with a warning sign like these photos. -got a pig snout i see -Fucking smoke show. No roast needed -You're trying too hard -Why do you look like jenny Ortega if she was on crack for 15 years -You definitely require your boyfriend to have a six figure job while you have a zero figure job. -Your hair is so greasy if I lit it on fire I'd get arson charges. You think you're the main character.  You literally look like you bend over to get attention. It's really giving a pick me girl post smh -Is it just me or did Square Enix pull a BioWare Dragon Age Veilguard with Tifa? -"Bush, lots of bush." -"It’s seems the vowels are missing from that headline, just like your dad has been missing since you were 7." -Can’t think of anything -"Another ,OF wanna be,advert." -Trying to find a new daddy when yours ignored you the moment you were born :| -The woman in the girl power poster you redo here thinks you are crinch. -Eyes of a dead porn star -"It would be hard to miss that forehead, but I'm willing to try." -Nothing much there to roast. -Let’s be honest there’s only one roasting anyone wants to do and that’s spit -You got some meaty paws on ya… some would say strong hands. Seinfeld might say man hands. -"Really giving off Plainest of the Janes vibes with the middle-part, the non-descript face, and the wardrobe where the most interesting part of your entire personality is freaking Garfield." -"Never thought I would see the phrase ""don't stick your dick in crazy"" come alive, but here we go..." -"In response to your other post, fat hands." -Unsubscribe. -"Too hot to roast but if i have to, what’s up with those fat hands?" -Well i would but we are not in Salem and it's not the 17th century -Snapchat streaks have the same value as social credit to you -Some where some place is a boy who does not know his life is all ready ruined. -is your life that empty that you have to lower yourself this way to get some attention ??? -the eyebrow to hairline ratio wider than usa to china -Noooo did he break up with you*coughs*about time -You just look annoying. -You look like this chick I met in Philippines that turned out to be a lady boy.. -Air traffic control center this is bowing 747 flight 4 coming into a landing on you’re forehead -Eyebrows so wide they want to leave your face. -It’s a dude right? -Forehead so large she remembers what happens tomorrow -"Your the opposite of a manic pixie dream girl... -Depressive leprechaun insomniac boy." -"Which pic was your, ""oh, nevermind"" moment? For me it was pic 2." -And that's why they need a wall building -Definitely the type to say this post isn’t for attention despite it being true -What do yoiynoubr rhebreen -Stop asking for attention. Especially when under aged. -You have fat hands AND short fingers -Is roasting minors even allowed? -Is it politically incorrect to say she looks like Elliot Page with tits? -And on your left.. future single mother... -How to tell me you're from Russia/Eastern Europe without telling me -You look like you have a son named AAron -we must stay focused. -This is the girl from Arby’s? She’s had the meats! -You're a symptom of humanity's decline... Just another hottie fishing for complements -Haven’t I seen you on 90 day fiancé? -She gives head *before* the first date. -How tall are you without the forehead? -You flexing is like FOUSEY showing respect to others :) -You look like a young Barbara Hershey -"When your lips are bigger than your tits, you know somethings wrong" -You look like you play connect the dots with your arm moles -Your the type that your boyfriend made y’all buy a bunk bed so he don’t have to sleep with your annoying talkative ass hence the bunk bed in the picture -You look like a prototype feminist but somehow voted for Trump -Did pole dancing hook you up with that clothes rack in the background? -Greetings from Jamaica -You look like you put tomato ketchup on bread and call it a sandwich -"I would roast you, but I hear filters are highly flammable." -Your tinder profile says throat goat. But we all know that's a lie just looking at you -Id roast you to Christmas dinner to meet my parents hot enough for me -"When mom says ""We have McKayla Maroney at home""" -You look like a tuna sandwich -Smiles while she slits your cats throat because you missed a text message. -You’re built like a dildo with arms -"Every person thats approached by you all say ""sorry but i dont date men""" -"Daaaamn, you got some fat ass hands" -"If you were in Taken, Liam Neeson would shrug and go on with his life." -OP is going to be cast for generic THOT in the next high school school drama. -Cute -pouting like a million-dollar singer when she's an ordinary woman from Kansas -So when are you going to start writing that teen novel? -"You are going to be roasted so hard, your phoenix constellation on your arm is going to burst in flames and giving rise to a new era for your life. You will terrorize the world with your mischievous riches and wonders. You will now be know on social media as The roasted Phoenix. I will be your first follower. Please link it below after you are done creating it." -Your 4th picture I could use 😛 -Your phone must blow up about 30 minutes after the bars close -comment -That reminds me I still havent finished the walking dead -You look like you treat bipolar with weed and it isn't working. -"That's a very smart haircut. If my eyebrows looked like that, I'd want to hide them, too." -You look more like a line snorter -It's like Kelly Osborn and Billie Joe Armstrong had a baby that somehow survived the Plan B. -Fucking a cucumber doesn’t make you “vegan” -When you spend 30 mins creating a character for a game and get bored and quit halfway through -In this case NB stands for Non Bonkable. -Spencers Gifts in the mall thanks you for your 20 years of being a loyal customer -Look back on this in 20 years and cringe at yourself. Seriously. -Your therapist has to be loaded at this point. -If MySpace was a person -Making meth doesn’t make you a linecook -You can't call yourself NB just because your hands look like they belong on a 50 year old plumber named Fred -Facial accessoires are not a substitute for a personality -Even this photo has BO -Identifying as nb because literally every other line cook in existence actually gets laid -There's enough material in those eyes for a 3-day psychiatric conference. -You're not reaching your potential as a cook. You could make a lot more money scaring the fuck out of little kids at the carnival. -Rocking the turquoise crayola eyebrows…nice -You look like you're one weekend coke binge away from your nose being as wrecked as your asshole. -Tell me more about ur parents not being there for u -Every descriptor you used was completely unnecessary yet somehow left out that you're a cokehead. -"New generation of emo. However, to be politically correct, “s/hemo”. You’re welcome." -"You think you are special and unique, that there is nobody else like you in the world, which is of course against you. But here’s the thing: you are nothing, and you know it. There are so many just like you, but you are too arrogant and narcissistic to see the truth that all the problems you blame on everyone else, is in fact all your own making." -What could we ever say that would be more humiliating then what you did to yourself? -You look like your dad ficked a parrot -A lot of boogers in that fingernail -You look like the kinda girl who lives with Raccoons -Non binary vegan with blue hair... Shocking! -You probably make up stories about trauma to make yourself seem more interesting. -"Here’s a word of advice. If you actually become an interesting person on the inside, you won’t have to try so desperately to be different on the outside. -Good luck!" -"No need for the blue hair and eyebrows. Everything else about you screams ""I'm blue""" -"Funny, your knuckles don't look like they ever lost in a drunken brawl" -For someone who spends so much time on how they look; you sure do look like shit. -You're the perfect candidate for an amazing career at McDonald's - just enough piercings to qualify for drive-thru and they don't have to worry about you sneaking food in the kitchen. -It's always funny to see ppl try so hard to be different just to end up looking like everyone else who thinks their dad didn't love them. -Middle earth looking mfer -You forgot to add trans to your description -Wild. You look exactly how I pictured a nonbinary vegan line cook in my head. -"Any other trends you gonna follow? Vegan, loser, non binary?" -Still amazes me that people put in this much effort to look this bad -The only thing you know how to cook is black tar heroin -I bet most people regret starting conversations with you -"Whatever daddy did to you, sticking it in yourself is not helping." -"just a fuckin edge~~lord~~they by different names. anti-anything, amirite?" -You look like you serve drinks on an oil rig -You don't have to tell us your preferred pronouns... we get it. -"Title reads loser, loser, loser. And that’s before getting to the picture ☠️" -"Do you think your blue hair, trendy nose piercing, stating you are vegan and posting on this thread makes you any different than anyone else? Sadly you are a sheep, pathetically being hearded to another meaningless life of mediocrity and disappointment. Oh wait it is still early, disappointment will hit when you wake up with that hangover after you drank to escape it all." -Opposite of a rebel. Alt trendy as fuck. -"Just because you’re unattractive, doesn’t make you a different gender" -Your Uzumaki shirt is as interesting of a person you’ll ever aspire to be -Did you fell face first in a tackle box? -"Hotdog - -Down - -A - -Hallway" -You look like you have spirals in places you shouldn't have spirals... -"You are a description of Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times." -“I don’t have a healthy relationship with my parents” in one picture. -Congratulations on conforming to a group and being all stereotypes in one photo -My fellow line cook loser druggie vegan -It’s Bulimic Punk Rock Barbie! -Holy fuckin shit!!!!! -Feel like you are a character from the Flintstones -I wanted to participate but it Looks like life been hard enough on u already -Do you use Microsoft Paint to put your makeup on? -How many ribs have you removed? -"You look like your father left you at 3 years old. -Your earlobe is bigger than mt. Everest. And like a third graders keychains. -You’re covering your massive forehead pushed back to 1912 with your goofy ahh pick me blue hair. -You have more holes in your body than SpongeBob. -Your eyes look like you have been awake for 27 days on the Fortnite grind. -And what the hell happened to your knuckles?" -"Of course, vegans always fucking announce that they’re vegan. Like anyone gives a shit." -"Why did you have to notify us that you are a vegan? No wait, nevermind." -Non binary ehh…i know you hear this daily but can we keep this non sexual please -"you look like a character creator preset for a game that conservative chuds would accuse of ""being woke""" -It's not a phase mom! -It’s obvious who you voted for. -"If that's your life and you look like that, you've done all the roasting already. Hit the exit door and write your own eulogy. Nobody will be there to read it but maybe that'll be a comforting last thought for you" -"Oh well, you didn’t need to add “loser” in the title. It’s obvious." -Punched through a car window like John Kreese when the mini mart was all out of Baja Blast. -I can’t tell which way you transitioned. -Wtf is NB lmao 🤣 -(24 nb). aka 24 NoBody -U don’t have to say vegan and loser both it’s redundant -You make me relate to boomers. -"All that effort into looking unique and having a unique lifestyle. - -And you're just a generic vegan stereotype" -McDonald’s ≠ line cook -"Everything you've done to yourself has been a bad decision. You would do yourself (and everyone else) a favor if you literally did the opposite things in life. Eat meat, be a woman, take out all the horrid jewelry and get some sun. This is not a roast, it's a life advice. I really mean it." -Vegan idiot activist who sold his soul to make himself look different -You should have regretted the piercings and that fucking haircut -Girl or boy? -Pablo Picasso blue period -If rippin cigs inside was a person -"Just because your parents said they don't have a son or daughter doesn't make you NB. - -Oh and Eugene Levy wants his eyebrows back." -"At the speed Muslims are popping out babies, I can see this guy being thrown from a building before his 50th birthday." -"24 nb? Like, a 24 y/o nobody?" -You can still be vegan without having patches of grass planted across your forehead. -"NB means Not Breeding, right?" -You look like Ramona Flowers if she started smoking fentanyl. -Vegan but will absolutely go to town on a meat schlong. Being a line cook doesn't exactly pay well but sucking absolutely does. -You look like humanised orc -You look classic blue hair girl mixed with Chad face meme but something went wrong -Go back to your home planet -Being vegan is morally worse than eating meat. -"It's like your chin said ""nope, fuck that"" when you decided to go goth." -Your look is unoriginal and played out. I doubt that you’ve ever had an original thought behind those lifeless makeup cakes eyes. -You look like Xerxes with all that shit on your face. Do you have 300 line up for the train too? -Your jewellery looks dumb. -no bitches? -What a fucking disaster -"You don’t need a description, we could’ve guessed that" -"Everything about your outward appearance screams loudly. ""I HAVE A TOXIC PERSONALITY "" ." -Mental health issues are no joke -Your 24 and working as a line cook. You don't have to say your a loser -Did you use a paintbrush for those eyebrows? -NB… god you truly have set yourself up for failure. -"Okay, get a fake arrow trough the head gag. Paint it silver. Put it on so you can look even more ridiculous." -"I hit the character limit just listing all the stereotypes you fit. -I’ve always been fascinated that the part of the brain that’s damaged enough to be convinced that simply stating you are “non binary” makes you transcend human biology, is also the part of the brain that warns you that blue hair looks ridiculous." -Oh man. You… just fuck you. -Biggest roast here! Your a woman... -This one's too easy lads.... Move on -No need to say your a loser when you state your vegan -Daria -Look like Mo’s little sister -Feeling down try magnetek new patent pending industrial grade magnets to help with breathing problems -Don't want to light a flare without an incident. -Earring so wide an entire fleet of Star destroyers could fly right through it -"What do you prefer - *""to boldly go where no one has gone before""* or *""to boldly go where no man has gone before""*?" -You're more junji ito than your your shirt. -you have so many peircings bc no one will pierce your ass -What I like to know is where do you park your broom ? -"Genuine surprise at the lack of an only fans page or face tattoo, look like a bad dragon ruined every relationship you've ever had, I'm vegan and even I think you look like you could use some red meat, eat a steak and get some iron in your body" -You look like Sid Vicious and Carmela Soprano had a child and abandoned it. -Have you got vitiligo or are you just shit at doing your makeup? -24 nb. No boyfriend. Yea. I could’ve guessed that. -"Non-binary, huh? Congratulations on not just being a loser, but also being a loser across a spectrum." -ur username really suits u -Just gross -Claims she’s vegan but had more meat than a butchers shop -Why do you make it look like so much effort? -BALLS & CHEESE -Pass -You have a humiliation kink. -"Line cook because not even Ronald McDonald would let you anywhere near a customer. Speaking of clowns, it looks like you applied your eyebrows with a paint roller." -gay -NB stands for nerdy boy for those wondering -Why the fuck do you do that shit to your goddamn ears? -"Any legitimate roast of this dude would probably break the ""don't be evil"" rule." -Junji Ito would have never thought his art could one day be the least horrifying part of a picture -" 😳 -👉👈" -Blue jolly rancher -Would you like a wet wipe? -"Wow, you're doing everything you can to distract people from your face." -You remind me of frankenstein -Bugs are ground up in your vegan food. You eat meat...very tiny meat. -"Wow, you’re edgy. Great.." -You look like a orc -OMG!!!!....look how unique you are....it's not like you're wearing a uniform or anything.... -Everything in the title except your age is obvious -What gave you more trauma? Your stepdad or your job? -This is dude looks like an Orc from Lord of the Rings! -"There was really no need to tell us you were vegan, or a loser, and by line cook you mean crack yeah?" -"Always... Why the weirdos ALWAYS got these bare-finger butt crack itcher fingernails? Let me guess, they only have male and female nail clippers and ""universal"" ones just don't make you feel recognized for your ""unique"" persona, so ftw, let's walk around w grimy dingleberry diddling fingernails. Edgy" -Smart of you to put a saddle on that nose -Thanks for reminding me to hug my kid. -This is why you don’t get a Gender studies degree. -Junji Ito rolling over in his grave with those stupid man hands of yours -"You're a loser vegan line cook. BOOM, ROASTED!!" -NB? Ok -"Get this thing out of my sight, please!" -You didn't had to mention that you are a loser in 4 different ways -What the fuck are them eyebrows? -Why would a vegan frankenfack their face? -They finally made a remake of Hellraiser? -"Nonbinary, vegan, blue hair, and facial piercings? Save some attention for the rest of us!" -Is NB for near boy? -Following every modern progressive trend doesn’t give you a personality -bro looks like a goblin with those ears -"You don't regret that claymore shrapnel you voluntarily put in your face, so I don't think anything we say is gonna get through that thick skull of yours" -"Yea, your brain is messed up, worse than what u did to your face." -Do you work a 2nd job as a manager of the red flag store? -24 and still in that edgy teenager phase? Damn. -"You could have left it at ""make be regret this"" the rest is implied by your ""I dye my hair and punch holes in my face to help hide my crippling insecurity"" attitude. " -"Wow, you are a dark rebel. And so unique... just like all the others." -You left off “junkie” -"All of those descriptors were redundant, we could tell just by looking at the pic. Though you did forget to add failure and dying alone." -"You didn't have to write ""loser"". We know, trust me." -My daughter went for this look and then kinda outgrew it at 15. -"If you're not happy.. there's only one person that can change that -...YOU..." -There’s this new invention you need to try. It’s called a mirror. Go look at one. -You roasted yourself with life it seems. Nothing left for us to do or say. I just see family trauma in this photo. -"Dang, all of you ""daddy.issue"" girls look so much alike, didn't you get enough the last time? -Coming back for seconds like your drunk Uncle on summer break." -You look like a Skyrim NPC that would report someone to the imperials for misgendering them. -You look like what gas station pussy would smell like -How do you dye your hair blue and still looks completely void of any colour in your life -You look like Spock's illegitimate child with some Klingon ho that turned out to be super clingy -I’m sorry your dad wasn’t around -You look like you peaked in kindergarten -"You know those mornings you look in the mirror and decide today’s the day you stop being a blue haired d bag with a spike in ur eyes and a desperation chain in ur nose… then the cold dark truth hits you that every chance you ever had of accepting urself died the day u were clueless enough to look a cashier in the face and say “yes, I want to buy that lava lamp”… that’s today… asshat" -Ewww. -"You must be mentally broken to pierce yourself like that, I can't think about different reason" -"You have a vibe of a nerdy boring basic girl who decided that she's tired of not being seen anymore and tried to put on an alt look to seem more interesting, but it's not working" -"I’m curious how many sex acts it will take to pay for your eyebrow laser removal? - -NGL that nose bridge tat is smoking." -are those holes in your ears representative of the gaps left on your soul from your dad leaving? -You didn't have to put NB in the title. Your hair already told us you are nonbinary. -A walking buffet line of trauma and disorders -Sigh -"How can you be a line cook and a vegan? - -Chefs shouldn't have diet restrictions. How can you send good food out when all you eat is rabbit food? As a chef a vegan is my most hated customer. - -Arrogant think their something special and you have to basically deep clean your entire kitchen just to cook for that 1 person" -"No idea is a bad idea the home of the brave good consultation mindset is key exploring is inevitable says the P -H. D M. D" -U like the prop I make at 3 am -"You could be hot, if you gave up the metal, the vegan, the loser, got some nice clothes, did your hair, got a job........." -Looks like you fell face first into my tackle box. -"i would roast you, but metal isn't good for my oven" -"Vegan line cook? No wonder you look terminally ill. -Yeesh." -Vegan... Yet you pierce yourself like livestock. -NB = a girl who can't attract guys and wants to feel special for it. -I'm sure your personality goes WAY DEEPER than your piercings and neat hair color -I bet your dad regrets you -Yeah you didn’t need to include “loser” in the title. We all have eyes. -"Groucho Marx called and wants his eyebrows back. -I like the gauge earring, makes a good handle to keep you in place while you rim me. But that nose thing might poke my taint. Linecook? Guess your lesbo sugga mamma ain't all dat.ohhh geezzz I am so sorry... NB... didn't see that. So, neither side wants you ? There's always the fleshlight." -I thought I was the only one who hadn’t slept for an entire month -you look like a vegan -"Op thinks self to be special because non binary. Op doesn't realize that if you are binary or non binary, that just becomes another binary to be a part of. Op is still binary. Tldr: op's mom should have swallowed." -"Wasn't getting enough attention from the blue hair so you had to add/subtract a few pronouns to try to stand out from the rest of the upper midde class kids with no real problems that tailgate others real issues to try and give their worthless existence some form of substance while fishing for pity. In case you're wondering, no, it's not working-- now people just hate you more than they would have before the shitty haircut, and your parents likely do too." -You look like everything wrong with Gen Z -This looks like the least of your poor decisions -Which of your stepfathers *HASNT* touched you? -Someone tell pains little sister that Naruto is looking for her -What is the point of nonbinary it’s so fucking stupid -"The Patriarchy called, they'd like fries with that" -I'm sorry your dad didn't love you. -You are fine you need a couple men to Split Roast you! -Non-binary? LOL! There is NOTHING masculine about you! -you’re a girl -I wouldn't pull out just to make your life worse -I just roasted a line cook that had gauges. She has 2 baby daddies! So you have that to look forward to👍 -"It’s a vegan, but still gobble up cock meat!" -"OP had the chain on her nose installed bc the bull ring she had before accidentally got torn out after being hand- led on a string by the neo leftist woke crowd too many times. - -On a real level though, Op would probably actually be very pretty if she stopped drilling holes in her face, shaving off and repainting back on clown eyebrows, and generally dressing like a homeless man." -grunge emo? -You look like a she/her -your earlobes can be used as key ring lmao -You look like a cyberpunk elf with an eating disorder -Even Cyberpunk Edgerunners doesn’t have this character -"24....? -Twenty Four!? - -With the attention to self image of a 16yr old.." -How did you get out of your pokeball on your own -I would roast you but honestly your life seems to suck enough as it is with you just being a vegan 😂 -comment -"You won't get validation online, even if you post the same damn angle another 20 times" -You were hideous in the first pic. I didn’t need 3 more exactly like it. -You were 31 in 2004 maybe -"Jesus, is that your good side?" -Tuesday Adams trying to whistle. -Your face looks about as smooth as a Louisiana highway. -"17 individual posts that are just a closeup of your tongue. - -Whatever fetish you're catering to is weird." -I didn’t know Edward James Olmos was doing drag now. -You better have a good ass. -Guys don’t be so mean to someone who obviously survived a meth lab explosion. -Guys where's the alarm we sound when someone lies about being 31? 🤷‍♂️ -It looks like your face caught on fire and someone stomped it out it a football cleat. -I see your eyebrows have already fallen off before anyone got to the roasting -You look like you are an undefeated bobbing for fried chicken champion. -I thought dragonscale was eradicated in Westeros years ago? -Looks like you got hit with a bag of hot nickels. -Face backne -You are a textbook butterface -Lips like a dogs arsehole -You look like a decorative autumn squash. -Your face looks like a place to hang a picture. -I’d hate to see the “bad” side. -You cropped the forehead in every pic. There’s got to be more to this story. What are you hiding up there? -Duck face and crater face together? Life has already roasted you enough. -Black & Decker can help with your complexion -A face for radio -Do you not know how to put your lips into other positions? -"Quick, someone shine the bat signal, two face is on the loose." -No amount of makeup can cover up whatever that is on your cheek…also makes me wonder how awful the other side of your face is since you refuse to show it. -You look Fifty-Twelve -Pay more attention to the actual videos and not just the text on those make-up tutorials. Maybe then you'd know not to use a kitchen sponge for your foundation.  -Ray Liotta with tits -“Kiss from a rose” face ass -31 years old?! 😬😬 I legit would have guessed a minimum of 45...sorry. -Your own ass is trying to run away from you. -What's to roast? Someone's already tried holding your face down on a barbecue grill -You might want to stay away from fires you look like a marshmallow over a flame -My god. The acne craters. It looks like you went to wish upon a star and then it landed on your face -"“Take me to the moon” - -No need. Now that I’ve seen your face, I’ve been there" -"If a blind person puts their hands on your cheek, they will read a sentence." -"Face stuck like that from sucking tiny peens - -Too much makeup trying to cover the craters, still not enough makeup to cover the 5 o'clock shadow" -Can you still get a boner? -Your tears must need a wrangler to slide down your face -The holes in your face trigger my Trypophobia -Looks like those first few pics sums up your personality -Fuckin’ Edward James “Allmost” in they/them presentation mode. -What the fuck bro -I wonder what your face says in braille? -This a dude. -"What if I used the same picture for roast me *and* for my lawsuit against my dermatologist. - -Yeah that's going to save me time and effort. Just make sure I get enough pictures of that side of my face." -I didn’t think we had photos of the Dark Side of the Moon -Pics 1-4 are like phases of the moon. -Acne + duck face = meth addict that doesn’t suck dick good enough for proactive. -The KANKLES -I cropped this picture and posted it on /r/moon -Pics should be rated NSFW -"You probably can't take a normal picture, without making duck face! " -Looks like those pit marks on your face are already roasting you pretty good. -what am I suppose to do with the same 3 pics? Play hop scotch on ur dimples? -How bad is the other side of your corduroy face? -How are you going to ask us to roast you when you posted the same shitty picture 6 times? -Did you get bitch slapped with a cheese grater? -"Imagine making the same face IN EACH PHOTO. - -At least you beat your cheek with a tenderizing mallet to make the roasting even easier" -That face you make when your card declines at the abortion clinic. -Wouldn't touch you with my granpa's dick -Your make up makes you look like you have jaundice…are you ok? -Topographical map of your cheek would look like a rainbow -Fuck. Is your face just stuck like a fish? That would explain the scales... -Lewis and Clark would have never made to California if they had to go through the terrain on your face -It's scary AF when you crawl out of the TV set in those movies... -Your skins like bubble wrap after you popped all the bubbles -"I bet you have an only fans with pictures of your tongue, based off the 50 pictures of your tongue in your post history" -"Always one side AND always duck lips? I’m kinda scared ngl, not even trying to roast" -Female? With those man hands that will manhandle??? -The opposite of Viagra. -"After looking at your face, I can confirm that the moon landing was indeed fake." -You look like the aliens that drink coffee from men in black -Meet Elephant Woman. -Looks like a Xenomorph visited your face -"Stop rimming as a hobby, both your tongue and cheeks are paying for it!!" -Why am I getting slender woman vibes? -"You haven't been roasted, you've been deep-fried." -Oh God is your face stuck like that -"Ah, the ol' three bagger. One for her, one for you - in case hers falls off, and one for the door - in case anyone walks in on you." -If you zoom in you can actually see a little lunar rover on her cheek -"If you wouldn't look like a duck with constipation people might look at you without being ""Ew""" -Thank god your tongue pictures didn’t show the rest of your face. -Roast a picture of the moon? I don't get it. -I'd rather fuck Freddie Krueger -"I swear it was ok to upload only one picture, maybe the last one where you are far away....or even better none at all." -Begging you to find another pose -What in the smallpox scarring is going on with your face? -you make the same face in every picture.... -Trans Gollum. Also bad skin -"Show us your ""we do recover"" tattoo" -please label this NSFW for crying out loud. -Your cracked tongue somehow looks better than your face -"Why are you making the same face in all of the pics? Is that your ""hot"" face, because it's absolutely not hot. - -But at least you got the body of a crackhead who's had three kids with different men who disappeared once they sobered up." -"You only seem to make one-face. Like, it's okay to not have a preset face!" -You have a satellite image of Gaza for a face. -I thought I ordered pepperoni on that pizza face -The moon is jealous of all the craters you got on your face vs what it has... -Looking like a mannequin left out in the Florida sun. Did a girl from Kansas throw water on your face? -Hey she can start a wonderful modeling job being the after pic on the meth poster -"Makeup isn’t working for you, maybe see a plastic surgeon" -Six cameras broke taking these pictures. -"Fell off the repugnant tree, hit all the branches, went through the ground and started eating the roots of said tree. Ew… why? Just why would you do this?" -Your face is already roasted and overcooked. -Is that chlamydia on your cheek? -One arm looks bigger than the other its Like in that King of Queens Episode where they received a painting as a präsent. -Let's just say you have no career in political cover-up -We can't top what the fire did to you -I don’t need to roast you the mirror does that -31 going on old lady at the dry cleaners -Your face looks like someone tried to put out a camp fire with a screwdriver. -Is that a picture of your cheek or close-up of the surface of the moon? Neil Armstrong. He’s gonna leave a footprint right on your cheekbone. -Doesn't date anymore. Her last one oredred a Grilled Face. -"Based on your cheek, you've already been burnt. No need for a roast." -I've seen dirt roads that look smoother than your face -Midgets could mountain climb in the pot marks on your face -Dr Finkelstein looking ass -Needs about 2 more pounds of make up on that one side and I’m sure you will be beautiful to somebody -Looks like someone set your face on fire and put it out with a fork. -More craters on that face than the moon -you look like the knock of version of gypsy rose and that’s sayin somethin -Elf with a genetic defect -Planet of the Apes -Your skin looks worse than the battlefield of Verdun. -Beautiful looking lady -I promise you that caked on make up isn't making your acne scars any less awful -Show them your tongue! -"Is this what you wanted, OP? Have you had enough? How does this make you feel? Just curious" -"freddy krueger called, he wants his skin back" -Just embrace the pimple scars. That much makeup cannot be good for your skin. -Man has landed on the moon! -Even China couldn't land a moon lander on that face. Too many craters. -"You look like your face caught on fire at a baseball game, and the players stomped it out" -Face like a water logged golf ball -You have the same complexion as the moon. -Hansel and Gretel are eating your house -How do you get the “stamped concrete” look? -Edward James Oh No! -Edward James Almost -When did Edward James Olmos transition? -"They filmed the moon landing on your face, didnt they ?" -She has infinite dimples glitch -What da fuck is bdd -A little spackling will help fill in those pits... or maybe a lot of spackling... -Looks like you bob for French fries in the deep fryer -What craters have NASA landed on? -Your face reminds me of the average road in Wisconsin. -Hey good side looks like the worst of Verdun -Is your name Moon? Because those are some serious craters on your face. -Bag lady vibes engaged. -Thought this was a rover image of the mars surface at first glance -The moon has less craters -Looks like a dehydrated spongebob squarepants fucked edna mode on a crack binge -Neil Armstrong says hello. -"Do you only have one expression, or is your face paralyzed?" -https://tenor.com/bVxeN.gif -It looks like your grater is covered in makeup. -"The make up isn’t working for you.  - -You’d need wood filler to hide those craters god damn! " -"Are you melting? You look like you are standing too close to an open fire and your face is starting to give way, like the wax museum movies." -Cheek looks like asphalt. I thought road head was something different. -I think you face is permanently frozen like that -Gross… -"Ma’am to roast you like you’ve never been roasted before, we would have to physically cook the rest of your face." -"Your cheeks look like cheese melted to a hot griddle. - -The good thing is that they say ""I'm ugly"" in Braille, so blind people are made aware." -"Gillette, DSC, Harry's makes great razors. Stop shaving with a clam shell." -We know where they faked the moon landing now -Terrify -A face and a cheese grater together! I’ve seen everything now -The moon landing was filmed on you acne scars and it shows -That shattering sound you hear is your mirror committing suicide -Nice cock -Holy shit! It’s Edward James Olmos! -"If that’s your best angles and your “good side”, then what kind of horrors are you trying to hide from the camera? For the love of God, your are a double bagger as it is. A “double bagger” is one bag over your head and one over my head in case yours falls off 🤢 🤮" -Face like a cabbage that's been kicked against a pebble dashed wall. -Looks like your friends feed you rock candy with a sling shot. One of them has bad aim. -"Whenever some horny redditor flirts with a girl on here, they picture some hot single chick...this girl is what she actually looks like" -WTF is that -F? -Are your lips broken? -"You know how your parents said ""Don't make that face or it will stay like that""" -Morticia Addams if she was ordered off Temu. -Joni Mitchell and Rita Pearlman got *down* with a monkey in the 60s and 40 years later you popped out -I feel sorry for those lips... -It's called foundation... Not crater fill. -Is that her face or just a close up of a moon landing? -"I'd roast you, but by the looks of that skin I'd say I'm too late." -Are you a burn victim? -This is the one time I'm envious of Ray Charles. -Truth of fact: The USA never landed on the moon- it was actually just the side of this chick's face. -Makeup cant hide the nuke crater -What's your nickname? Crater Face? -You’ve got more craters than mars. -"Honestly, you aren't that bad." -You look 40. -"I really can't roast you harder than life already has, sorry." -Shouldn’t take long to Roast. Your face is already mallet-tenderized. -I highly doubt you’ve never been roasted before -I bet you apply your makeup with a putty knife. -Go to Old Town and have Samwell Tarley to pick that grayscale off your face. -"I guess I don’t understand why people seek this. Even seeking bad comments is a kind of vanity, imho. You look perfectly fine. Instead of seeking negative comments about your appearance why not just touch grass and meet people." -Wow! First time on this page - very brutal. Why would you want to set yourself up for so much abuse? Damn! Life is hard enough… -The table from Scarface had less bumps than your face -Zoom into your face and it would look like a scene from the Martian. -"Duck face: X -Howler monkey face: 👍" -I’ve seen better skin on a ballsack -Don't want to roast you -Did they fake the moon landing on your face? -Is your face stuck like that -Did Neil Armstrong land on your face? Cause that shit has more craters than the moon -Your face looks like a topographical map of the Andes Mountains -"Omg ok so I officially can’t do this to people… i know it’s a roast and that it’s the whole point but fuck.. some people just be straight up meannnnnn!!!! How do you take this OP?! lol I can’t wrap my head around this… like, the shit that gets said in this sub, I could never EVER do it! So hats off to you OP for having the confidence to do this cuz I sure af don’t and won’t dish it out either. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I guess I’m just too much of a softie .. suppose I stumbled into a sub I can’t hang with lol" -Yoko Nono -Did your paint chip -One side looks like you were a goalie in a dart league -“If you keep making that face it’ll get stuck like that.” Guess you didn’t take the warning…. -I've never wanted to play connect the dots so badly. -"Roast you? By the looks of your potted cheeks, I’d say someone already tried to tenderize you." -Could prolly fake a moon landing with that cheek. -Left side looks like a topographical map of the Rocky Mountains. I can only guess that the right side looks like Two Face on a bad day. -" -Looks like you got hit in the face with a bag of marbles." -"If that's your better angle, I don't even wanna see the other" -"7 pics of the same thing, and a implied baby bump? What am I missing here? 😂" -I see you tried to warm up for this roast by putting your cheek on a grill beforehand. -"Maybe lay off the drugs, your skin looks ruined." -Why. That. Face. please post a reg pic with smile/teeth so we can really roast you like you’ve never been before… -Stop using a cheese grater as a facial treatment -"I would, but from the looks of your skin, that already happened." -The moon has never looked better. -Cannot take duck lips seriously. Get the fuck out of my feed with that shit. -"I know this is supposed to be a roast, but I feel like I need to seriously help you, girl to girl. Please quit posting the exact same picture over and over and over again." -An average teenager has less pits on his face than you. -I smell tuna fish -Acne + duckface 💀 Ohh hell naaa -I’m guessing the teeth have holes like your face does -I’ve seen better heads on boils. -"I'm mid-30, but you look like my mom. - - -And wtf is up with all the tongue pics in your history??" -You look like a background character in an underfunded anime. -"If that's your good side, I can't imagine the bad" -Duck face? All it does is bring out the terrible acne you tried to hide under those geological-sized layers of makeup. -Post op Dobbie the house elf. -Bowl of dried oatmeal. -Bet she can't take a joke. -"If I wore 3D glasses, I could imagine landing on the moon just by staring at your face." -I can sense a huge forehead by the way all pics are cropped -Is that acne or scars from dodging the coat hanger for 9 months? -Did your face freeze? Wtf. -Thought I was on r/moon for a sec -Nigga escaped area 51 -"at least you cover yourself up, thanks god, noone want to see your cleavage" -"I know she's got craters and I know she's doing duck face in every picture, but is anyone going to talk about how she looks like a man in drag?" -That nose. My god. -Is deep fried face only thing that defines you ? -Guys sleep with you to save shaving expenses as they can rub your cheeks all over their body to get full body hair removal. -Id hate to see the other side of that face -Why are you whistling on every photo? -"*>like I’ve never been before* - -I believe it." -Your cheeks look like they’ve already been heavily roasted -The resting duck face is enough in itself.. -this must be how they faked the moon landing -Stop making that face -Do your eyebrows not exist or are they hidden under your foundation? -Is your face stuck like that -That dress is so tight that it squished cellulite up to your face. -Two failed relationships away from transgender -It looks like someone set your face on fire and put it out with an ice pick. -Do you use foundation or wall plaster for those dents? -Your body is ok. It’s your face that is completely fucked. -Roast you? Looks like the acne already did! -Face topography says cake the face so we can hide the craters -I don't think it's appropriate to roast house fire survivors. -Did you wash your face with sandpaper? -comment -Wii Fit and masturbation doesn't count as working out 😒 -Are you that weird guy from the NFL Memes Facebook page that has pepperoni nipples and kept getting banned? Honest question -Sugar Gay -Who’s gonna tell this guy he’s not 23 anymore -Jesus Christ aren’t you the Facebook group guy? -"God damnit Felipe, how are you everywhere??" -"all those Pokémon tattoos, and you’re still waiting for someone to say “i choose you”" -Male prostitution at motel 6 doesn't count as gym time. -"Based on the Sling Blade expression, you also like varnishing in unventilated areas." -"Don't sell yourself short by just saying that you love video games and working out, don't forget your obvious love of sketchy tattoos and bad haircuts." -Sham wow guy is only 31????? -Lead singer of crazy town came back to life -How the fuck do you always find where I am!?! I'm convinced this dude is literally everywhere at once -I bet you get excited when you find a hair in your food. -Non-Binary Slingblade -31 going on 55…keep hitting the pipe dude! -Poster-child of skipping leg day. -I’m pretty sure this is the old Dolphin fan guy… am I right?! -I seen you on r/shittytattoos btw -I don’t think I’ve ever hated a haircut more than this one -I bet you have a shitty tribal tattoo -You have more battery charges than a Tesla dealership. -YOU RANG??!! -That combover isn't fooling anyone. -You are why we teach kids about stranger danger. -Bro looks like everything wrong with men from the last 3 decades -What in the 90s oh look it's Green Day meth is going on. Your shorts look wrinkled and so does your face 🌝 -"Kinda look like a GTA character, rendered for PS1" -He loves everything but minoxidil -You look like what the Offspring sound like -And meth. You forgot to mention meth. -"Aaron carter but jerking off and weed instead of duster and Xanax, equally disappointing to their parents" -I didn't know the Sham Wow/Slap Chop guy had tattoos. -I can tell you never skip forehead day at the gym. -"From the look on your face, i’m going to guess your family tree is light on forks. - -Be honest: what relationship exists between your mother and father? Be specific." -"You’re the type of guy to post on every single Facebook group, then every Twitter thread, then every subreddit. - -Go away Felipe. You’re the Ryan Tannehill of people. Phins down" -"Loves video games, working out and spending hours trying to get what little hair he has left on top to cover the whole front half of his head." -"You may live in West Palm Beach, but honey that hairline is in Reseda." -You look like Trevor’s bastard son from GTA V -"This dipshit used to post way too much in pcmaster on fb back in the day, to the point they either started a new one or blocked him. Can't believe I have to see his stupid face one more time" -Sorry dog no amount of working out is fixing that face -U also love meth and beastiality -100% you buy feet pics -Seeing your extra chromosomed self in my Facebook groups is nightmare fuel -Not a roast but is there anyway to get rid of this internet cockroach? -Are those your legs or are you riding a chicken?? Don't skip leg day broseph. -Man you have already lost your hair please stop fighting -"Vanilla Ice, incel edition" -Handsome squidward but from temu -It’s the sham wow guy that sucks at sales -You most really love your hair too. You’re holding on to that shit for dear life’s -Nothing I could say would roast you more than life roasted you already -"I cannot even think of something funny. - -Literally those tattoos and hairstyle would make any adult not take you seriously." -How long you been 31? -Working out how you're gonna afford the next rock? -The loser that shows up to college parties uninvited -Only thing that looks like it works out is your jaw. I bet I can guess your favorite exercise based on the bleached part of what’s left of your hair -You misspelled douchebag -Can you stop playing pocket pool for like 5 seconds to get your picture taken? -And this is what happened to sick boy after the end of Trainspotting -1000 yard stare and not allowed within 1000 yards of a school zone.. -It's nice of your parents to let you live on the patio. -You're desperately grasping back at your 20s harder than that bleached blond combover is grasping at your forehead. -You work out? You sprained your wrist trying to staple 3 pieces of paper together with a stapler. -Uses kirby and boo tattoos for starting conversations with/luring children. Uses GTA tattoos for starting conversations with/luring teens. -Never did a lateral raise in his life except to drop jizz napkins in the trash bin of grandma's garage -Dolphins fan here -If the YouTuber Dream did meth -Never skip face day -Sugar Gay -Being worked out and working out are different. -Loves working out his boyfriends spunk😮 -Do nada o Felipe Gringo kkkkkkk -You forget to mention jerking off -"I hope you love who ever gave you that haircut. Because Damn that shit is ugly. Oh, and you work out bro? Hard to tell." -Bro's hair is struggling for dear life -Is the white combover there to distract people from the cumstained clothes? -Great value mark McGrath -Ice ice maybe. -I remember this guy on Facebook! NFL memes -You look like a gayer version of Trevor from GTA v -"2000s KFC just popped out the time machine, they want their grilled chicken legs back." -"From your tattoos, your ear piercing, your dye job, your “all the girls wanna blow me” stance with your silly little hand in your pocket, I know what you are! Absolutely fucking insufferable!" -"When you’re subscribed to 4 dating apps, pray to feminism twice a day and still get no pussy whatsoever" -You should work out going to a better hairdresser. 💪. -He's two years younger than me but looks 7 years older -The 90’s called and want their frosted ends back right NOW ! -I bet your favourite game is Red neck redemption 2 -That San Andreas tattoo says it all bum -Nice tattoos but who invited fiver Trevor Philips -You look like you go near high schools a lot -" Love filming gay porn on the porch too… (not judging, it’s, umm, the light that gave it away)." -Sick shoulder tat. I take it Grand Theft Auto is the only place women will talk to you? -Bro aaa look like Trevor off of GTA -The Hattiesburg jaw -Gen Z Tiger King Trailer Trash -Bro skips everything but arm day -This guy looks how The Offspring sounds. -You look like a Canadian bank robber who saw the news one night confirming your long dead best friend is alive which led you to discover your other long time best friend who you thought was in jail was actually buried in your first friend's place -"At first, I was getting a real Trevor vibe, but it may be more Floyd, tbh... good luck with Debra.. oh nvm." -This fucking guy. I have you blocked on Facebook because I was sick of seeing selfies of you in a Dolphin hat. -You look like Billy bob thorton in sling blade if he somehow got ahold of a tattoo gun and started watching hentai -I loved you In The hills have eyes -"First Facebook now reddit, I can't escape Felipe" -We totally can't tell you're balding. That combover is fooling everyone. -It looks like you're working one out right now... -And bad haircuts -"I reckon you’ll have some mustard with yer biscuits, mmmhmmmm." -It looks like someone pulled really hard on your scalp and now your hair looks like a doormat or something a quirky goth kid would wear -First pick to be taken against a broccoli tree -You pee in the shower -Bro looks like when I hit randomise on my GTA 3 character -Frankenberry lives! -Your hair is definitely working out of your scalp -We gotta stop these damn Hobbits from leaving the shire. -I love video games and working out and receding my hairline. -"Video games and working out are the classic "" I use to get high as fuck hobbies """ -"When you go back to prison, don't forget to hold on to somebody's pants pocket so you can be protected." -You look like the love child of Walton Goggins and Karl Childers. Mmmhmmm -You may be the most basic bitch on Reddit. -"Go back to your ""father"" Dr. Frankenstein and tell him the bleached toupee is *not* disguising that square cranium ! He managed to fix your old neck bolt attachments to a sleeker design, surely he can come up with better ""hair""." -I’d have a receding hairline too if I exclusively used forehead grease as pomade -"Just like the last dude, how do you manage to be three years younger than me, but look about ten years older?" -"I think he likes the idea of working out, not seeing workout results" -You look like the reason why Steven Ogg hates Trevor the character. -Ain’t no hiding that bald spot. Not even a good attempt either. -"Are you a son of Vanilla Ice? - -Probably not daddy's best sperm, so he called you Vanilla Water." -I thought the dude from Crazy Town was dead? -"Me, if my inner child was still my outer child..." -Jerking off isn’t a work out buddy -Not this Facebook Group guy again... -Hiding that hairline with half a jar of hair gel a day must be expensive -You don’t like working out. You like a glass pipe and a telescope for watching everything around you when you’re paranoid. -"You gotta be a lefty, cuz left arm kinda jacked, right arm on crack" -"Loves working out and gaming, but that look is still stuck in beginner mode." -And meth. -Don’t forget not having a hairline -You also fondle your scrot the way that I do. Except my hand is in my pants. -How is it living as a githyanki on Earth? -Why do I see you and expect Chris Hansen is hiding somewhere nearby? -Weren’t u a loser dolfins fan making a joke of yourself previously? On sports pages lol -"Equal parts Matt Dillon, Vanilla Ice, and HGH" -"You look like the queer dollar store version of Seth Binzer. - -“CUM MY DADDY, CUM MY DADDY! SUGGA DADDAYYY!”" -Clearly your hairline is the next boss battle you have ahead of you. You'll lose -The only game he's playing is pocket pool. -I also do shrooms on the side -Temu Gollem -That shit haircut doesn’t hide that your balding from anyone 😂 -Which of those tats do you jerk off to the most? -And touching yourself obviously🙄 -AFS all grown up ♥️ -You also look like somebody who steals catalytic converters -This guy loves this shit. We should all say something nice about him instead! -"just shave yr head already, it’s over." -"Jesus christ, you took chin-ups to a whole new level." -"Mate, let it go. It doesn't matter how aggressively you brush your hair forward, that hairline is fucked." -31? When? -"Your tattoos are Pokémon and Grand Theft Auto based. - -Video games and cartoons… - -Dude, you have roasted yourself." -Alex Honnold’s next free climb is on that flat face of yours. -You’re balding. Just shave it -It is time to let that hair go... It is over -The dolphins suck -The tattoos on your left arm/shoulder say enough about your poor life choices. -If tony Ferguson was bi curious and let his amateur tattoo artist friend tarnish him. -You’re the guy from r/shittytattoos with the GTA girls! Now it makes sense 😂 -Somebody call the cops before Shifty Shellshock figures out how to break in that house. -There’s no way you don’t love drugs -We have gigachad at home -You’re like if Lord Farquaad was into boy bands -Maybe you should workout -You took up working out because gaming makes you feel lazy -"Still haven’t been able to get rid of the cold sores, I see." -Look like a big ass midget -Virtual reality porn counts as gaming now? -Trevor? -"""Working out"" of his grandma's basement." -The walking embodiment of a UTI - Been years since I last saw Maxx Headrom!! -"You look like you love ""them French fried potaters""" -"Give off strong ""that relative that you don't let your teenaged girls around alone"" vibes." -"Dude I swear to go this is that weird dude that was always posting on Facebook YEARS ago on the cowboys football page? Or Miami dolphins, fucking weird ass dude. That's hilarious he's on here" -Eats bananas for the shape -Pocket pool bro? Where is the tattoo for that game? -Looks like he fucks dolphins and calls himself a football fan -"31, I love video games, working out (with my shake weight and Fleshlight), bad tattoos and bleaching my hair so I look like any one of those twinks from a band in the 90s." -And I thought Trump had a bad combover. -This is what I would look like if my personality stopped developing when I turned 12 -The Dolphins pay you not to be a fan -When your heroin dealer is your tattoo artist and your Barber -If Eminem and Vanilla Ice had a baby -Hell yeah Felipe is my dawg -Come on man. Why did you come here. Don’t you get enough of this on the street -He cant even pose with out touching himself. It must be a young boy taking that picture. -Pete Davidson looking ahh -you try to hide your **MASSIVE** forhead with your hair and its failing -You look like you worship at the Church of Kid Rock. -And watching kids at the park -"🎶 I don't wanna grow up, -I got a big fuckin' chin 🎶" -What does your hair look like combed back? -those are mutually exclusive. must be a bot -And shitty tattoos -"Hates a good haircut and sleeves. -(also, when it comes to working out, “love” is a stretch)" -"Apparently, you also do your own tattoos." -Serious hairline denial going on here -If Beavis and Butthead had a baby... -comment -Tinker Smell -You absolutely treat people like shit then blame it on Mercury being in retrograde. -Your litter box smells better then your actual box. -This qualifies as a scratch and snift picture -"You exclusively date ecstasy dealers who don’t wear shirts to music festivals. You sleep in a different tent every night. You think you’re a hippy, but hippies don’t do ketamine. Your parents have kept your room exactly like it was, Beatles posters and all." -You can smell the cat piss and BO from these photos -Bet your hair smells worse than your kombucha farts -"you look like you run an Etsy shop that sells dreamcatchers but you tell everyone you telework. -and i’ll be honest, you kinda look like you’d say, “i don’t need shoes, the earth is my sole.” -i can also tell that you never shut tf up about the moon. -you also like to tell people you were born in the wrong century but couldn’t go an hour without Wi-Fi" -"Please, just go shower already." -"I had a fetish for ginger with long hair. - -You cured me" -"How the hell does a medical lab get ADHD? I mean, who could even diagnose a building like that?" -Doing drugs at E-forest is not “working in a medical lab” -"A fairy sprinkling ""fairy dust"" of lice, fleas, and mites." -"Wait wait I can do an impression of you. ""Dad, can I borrow some money?""" -You mean high on every illegal substance -The kinda lady that would let you rip ketamine off her ass -You look like you get passed around at the campfire -You probably smell like a Patchouli oil stand at a fish market -I think you mean a meth lab -I can smell the cat piss in that hair from here. -You just know if you tossed her a package of Dove soap she'd hiss at you. -"Oh look, an STD with feet." -Police overdose when they touch the fairy dust in your cigarette pack -I would bet anything that you smell like low tide. -Meth fairy -Your therapist dreads seeing you -"Wild prediction: Start saving money, you gonna need lots and lots of cat food throughout your life." -"White woman with dreads, I know they light incense in every room you walk in but you’re so self centered that you think it’s flattering. You look like you gentrify black neighborhoods just to replace them with “Black Lives Matter” signs" -Do you take shower’s or bath’s? It’s where you use soap to clean yourself. -I think the worst part of this post is that she thinks she’s unique -Fuck I can smell the patchouli and pussy from here -Having hair that belongs in a lab doesn’t make you a lab tech. -"I feel like everytime you speak, the people around you have to fight the brutal urge to just yell ""I don't fucking care.""" -"People tolerate you, but they all think you're supremely bland for someone who tries this hard to be unique. - -34... Grow up." -Where ADHD stands for Anus Destroyed by Huge Dicks. -"I can smell you through the phone - -—Soulja boii" -Do mushrooms grow in a circle around your ass? -This is the epitome of I can smell you through the screen -Moldilocks -I think ADD is the least of your problems -You should rub some fresh dog shit in your hair so it smells better -Do they have cages and a hamster wheel large enough for you in the lab? -"What hurts more, your birth parents always introducing you as their “adopted” daughter, or the fact that the angel dust you do doesn’t actually turn you into a fairy?" -"Your ex-boyfriend's ""job"" was busking with a didjeridu and you dumped him for a 50 year old guy who used to follow the Dead." -"If you don’t live in your moms basement, love to go to festivals when possible, and make less than 50k I’ll eat the entire contents of that litter box u keep in the same room u sleep in." -You look like you steal teeth. -Dreads is not a fashion choice when you haven’t showered or washed your hair in 10 years. I can smell the patchouli and the failed crystal deodorant through the phone -"You look like you go out of your way TO GET offended. - -Fucking hippy." -"Do all the test subjects consider themselves as ""working in a medical lab""? - -And you aren't a fairy, they just gave you syphilis." -"Patchouli oil and cat piss, what a combo" -Counting Crows groupie checking in. -Do your scabies have separate Reddit accounts? -"I believe you're an idiot. - -I'm right." -Kirsten Dunce -I didn’t know being tested on counted as work. The lab techs being unable to concentrate because your stench eats through masks doesn’t mean they have ADHD. -"You might think the crystal deodorant works, but it really doesn’t" -Just a lot of … crust on ye -That's why my lab results are wonky -She's a test subject -You’re even too weird for Downtown Denver -Homeless fairy that takes my cans in the night! -"The only girl NOT to get offered free drugs at a Phish concert lookin-ass. - -Shawty you look like Tumor Thurman in that first pic." -You're just like a church bench ....PEW !!! -Ayahuasca before or after the van? -Can we see your crystal and rock collection and all your dream catchers? -You forgot to brush the moss off your teeth -"Cocaine, mushrooms, Molly, dmt are a hell of a drug!" -Patchouli and piss. That’s the smell. -"Nice aesthetic, love how your teeth matches your dreads in the third picture. And you’re looking like two kind of predators in the second pic lol" -A can of tuna packed in oil left in a car trunk mid summer in Death Valley smells better than you! -"You’ve been chasing fairytales for so long, it’s no wonder your life looks like it was written by the Brothers Grimm—dark, tragic, and definitely not for kids." -"Drives a VW bus covered in stickers and lives in it, too." -Carnival ride operator and sniff and smell enthusiast -Okay twinklebell. I think the MDMA experiments you're participating in are working wonders. Quit snorting your magic pixie dust and get back to reality. -"This level of craziness must = amazing sex. Alright, which one of the boys is taking one for the team and dealing with her shrine of you afterwards?" -A messenger pigeon you mean? -This is why you don’t let your friends go to a Phish show. Hallucinogenics and meth aren’t a good combo -That’s not the only hair that’s dreadlocked. -Making essence oil drops isn't the same as working in a medical lab. -She always shits outdoors in the woods just ‘cause -"That's not fairy dust all over you, that's dirt and grime. " -"If ""You Mother was a hamster and your Father smelled of elderberries!"" was a real person." -"You personality and lifestyle says BO, but that face reads that it is the lack of wiping that causes the stench" -you look like you're proud of raising mushrooms in your nether regions. -are your nails rotting? -You look like you leave bottled water in the moonlight to absorb its healing energy. -You look exhausting and your parents are wondering there they went wrong. -You hog the joint every time talking about some world peace bullshit -Oh man it smells. It smells bad. -"You’re a white woman with dreads, the roast writes itself" -"These pictures made me smell my dreads out of curiosity. Apparently, when you don’t culturally appropriate they don’t just look like you can smell them from a picture." -I don’t know who’s more disappointed your father or my penis who won’t be able to get hard ever again because I had to look at this post. -Bet it’s like shagging a mushroom… -Fairy-ly stinky with 10 year old dreads… -"This reminds me, I gotta empty the bag in my vacuum." -Why does every woman on roastme have a nose ring -So cute! I don't care if you smell like cat piss -She is the definition of free use. How many crystals do you carry around with you? -"What in the Portland, OR is this shit? You manage to collect all them crystals and mushrooms too?" -Looking like Kirstin dump -People would never ask if you do drugs because you obviously do. -I kinda like 😆 not roasting today 🤷🏻‍♂️ sorry chick -"You know cigarettes aren’t a health food, right?" -You look like you live at a shitty renaissance fair -Taylor Trash -Getting experimented on does not mean you work in a lab -Definitely have tried to use herbal teas as a cure for things that herbal tea 100% cannot cure. -I can smell you through my phone screen… I’m sure you have an “allergy” to deodorants but do the world a favor and use them. -Buddy smells like my grandfather’s old camo slippers for sure -Aren’t medical labs supposed to be clean? -4 outta 4 of these pictures have a smell -by medical lab she means that’s where she takes her piss tests. The actual job is stealing shit like fairies do and selling the stuff to get back to the lab in time 😂 -DreadFUL -I bet you have a visually wet pillowcase -You look like the girl in my natural resources class in college who cried when I presented a report on Recycling. I explained how most of the stuff people recycle actually ends up on a landfill. And most of what actually gets recycled uses a bunch of resources to get to that point. Now you will have to find something else to give your life meaning besides not using shampoo and spending all your money making fancy dinners for your cats. -You make lab workers look bad....thanks for nothing -I can smell you through my phone. -You 100% give blow jobs to 50 year old men in exchange for shrooms at burning man. -You don’t mention your greatest achievement: Working your entire adult life to be completely unfuckable. -"If you're really a fairy, make yourself disappear." -Your description sounds like an old Republican over exaggerating what they think a liberal is. -She is gonna sprinkle her Fairy Crust on you… -You look like you live in your van and have an OnlyFans to pay for campground fees. -Her most prized possession is a backstage pass from the first Phish tour. It has a REVOKED stamp on it. -You look like last time you washed your pussy was the last time you washed your hair -"You look like Patchouli, and a dumpster had a baby." -"You look like someone who claims to be into witchcraft just to say some stuff about angels and be like ""I'm a christian witch.""" -Moldylocks -"I see 4 different bad hair styles, what’s next for your career?" -If curing my chlamydia with canola oil was a person. -You resemble Kirsten Dunst a bit. -You’re supposed to let OTHER people roast you but your title did all the heavy lifting -You look like a Bassnectar groupie. -A pot farm isn’t a medical lab. -Patchouli and palo santo -Hun hate to break it to you don't work in a medical lab they locked you in a med lab. Especially since I'm fairy certain that you have alot more goin on than whatever rainbow you dance on. 👽💨🍃 -Tell me you have a whole lot of pubic hair without actually saying it. -Not sure which smells worse. Your vagina or your dreads. -Trailer swift -Why does it matter that you have had dreads for 10 years? Do they have more identity than you? -"""Dreads for 10 years , working in a meth lab"" - -There fixed it for you" -Nothing we say can even come close to the despair your father must feeling see this. -Cat piss is not body wash. -You re-use you bath water -"Pretty girls post to RoastMe trying to be ironic because they know they are pretty. - -You posted this because you think you are one of them. - -And you don't think too good." -Living life smelling like Trader Joe’s garbage. -Lady you misspelt meth lab -I bet you have a bad dragon dildo made outta fucking crystals. -"you look cool, sorry" -"I can't help but notice how many of these comments are essentially stating that you actually look like you smell bad. -Do you ?" -Pre or post operative? Can we see the cats instead? -"You can still bang a fairy, right?" -not a roast. you seem so cool 😭🩵 -The white trash girl I've been looking for... -"You look like what a blunt smokes. Boom, roasted. - -But for real, thank you for your service in the medical field!!" -You look like you'd whimsically give me the clap at Woodstock -I kinda believe your a fairy too -Idk if this is against the rules but you are a fairy :D -Everybody is mean these days -"Okay but aside, keep living your fairy life 🧚‍♀️" -Oh cool a white person with dreads. -These pictures smell like an uncleaned Trader Joes bathroom -You look like you hold the record for the most abortions -Kirsten Dundst does meth? Damn I thought it would end better for her. -You already roasted yourself dawg -"I smell patchouli, blood and tuna" -"When you work in a research lab, you're not supposed to taste test the drugs." -Poster girl for the new patchouli deodorant -Cmon... Where's the van? -There isn't any way the bottom of her feet aren't black -Fairies aren't fuck ugly -You have the meth addict look down! -Guaranteed she doesn’t shave 🪒 any part of her body and believes in natural deodorant -You look like a proponent of vaginal composting. -Gorgeous -"No roast, I think you’re beautiful." -Yo it's Jack Sparrow when he met Taylor Swift yall -i am in love -Are you sure you’re “working” in the lab? You look like the Petri dish. -I can smell you through the phone.... I don't consent to this -changing blowjobs for molly -"To cute, I can't roast you" -I know this is a roast but idc I think you’re really pretty 🥹cute style too -Prime example of no child left behind policy. -"I'd be in a relationship with her, sounds like a good time." -When actually the crazy cat is lady is smart and Hot! -I can smell you through my phone. -With one look everyone can tell you are a fairy -"Sorry for unrelated but if you don't mind me asking, what kind of work do you do? How did you find the work opportunity? What qualifications did you need? Sounds like an interesting role" -"Dig the dreads! I had them in my early 20s. -Oh and you suck! Boom roasted " -"You eat organic/vegan, but don't hesitate doing drugs that's been smuggled in someones asshole." -I can't. You're definitely a fairy & a beautiful one at that. Sorry. 🧚‍♀️ -"You look like you volunteer to do all the stool cultures in the microbiology lab with the hood turned off— because you enjoy the smell 🤢 - -You love the smell of Shigella in the morning 🤮" -"Can’t roast because you’re my type, which means I’m roasting myself 😫" -She's got 13 crystals in her ass to feel better -Those dreads are probably the longest relationship you will ever have. -I have the same tapestry. -"I thought this was the dread sub, not r/roastme, going through the comments I was just like. Holy shit they are being so mean with this one 🤣" -Only fairy dust you got is the line you sniff before you get out of bed -"Uh…. Sorry, I got nothing. I like it 👍" -Taylor Swift if she made the wrong decisions in high school -"I would love to roast you, but I’m loving how you look closer to 19 than 34. Sunscreen?" -Up your meds!!!!!now!! -The only thing worth roasting is the loan officer who approved your student loans. -I can smell your BO through the phone. -Smell you later -comment -"Dollar General is both your stage name, and your next job." -The one Waffle House waitress that doesn't get hit on by the drunk after club crowd. -Hotness Level: starter girlfriend for white trash guys. -You look like if you take the glasses off your nose comes off with it. -Being the person behind the gloryhole doesn't mean you 'work at waffle house'. -You look like your father never returned -"Everything about this says -“My personality is my music taste is great and I think I’m deep and introspective because genocide is bad and people have feelings mannn”" -You look you're just about the only fuckin reason a waffle house would close -You’d be cute if it wasn’t for your everything. -“I work at Waffle House” na you stand outside begging for change -"The one night stand chick that you fuck the morning after because she's there and what the hell...and then run into her at Walmart multiple times for the next year, always with a different dude." -"Nothing says good service like chipped nail polish and aquarium shaped eyeglasses. -The glasses help hide what’s behind them though, so there’s that." -Lookin at a minimum $6 Uber from eyebrow to eyebrow -How many local punk band members does she have in her stomach? -"If black lives mattered so much to you, why do you keep swallowing them?" -"So that's where you got the nickname ""Over Easy""...." -"Good lord, Do your eyebrows have restraining orders against each other?" -"So I know this is a roast page, and the point of it is to insult you. But you mentioned that you have no will to live, and if any part of that is not a joke, I hope you'll reconsider and reach out to someone for help. Life is worth living. - -Also, while we are being serious, there's really nothing wrong with how you look and you don't need to be embarrassed. I'm not saying that just to make you feel good; I'm serious." -"Your chest is as flat as the cast of ""Enterprise."" - -(Actually mine is too.)" -"Fitting - I heard your nickname in high school was ""Scattered, Smothered, and Covered""." -Ain’t no way you got all your teeth -"Hate to break it to you, but this probably the highlight of your life. It's only going to be downhill from here." -Something tells me your special is a “ blue waffle” -I hope whatever you’re going through… you get through it -You spelled whorehouse wrong -Stop thinking of yourself. Make the trailer payment and put some tater tots in the microwave for the kids. -"You are the epitome of ""You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds -I want you smothered, want you covered, like my Waffle House hash browns""" -It looks like you fuck every man that comes into Waffle House and orders waffles. -Your eyebrows are ruined by them being slightly asymmetrical. -"Things will not last longer, the way you're feeling right now will pass eventually. Sometimes I also have suicidal thoughts but it's just an permanent reaction toward temporary things. Going with this flow of feeling will lead to destruction. Hold tight, fasten your seat belt your life will take a quick turn. If you have something to share well, I'll listen. - -🤟Peace" -Fiona Gallagher -"Did you wake up one day, look in the mirror and say “How can I make myself look worse? A Septum nose ring!”" -You seem way too nice it makes me uncomfortable to roast you. -Just drop your OF at this point -"Sucking dick in the bathroom doesn’t make you a Waffle House employee, Tammy. I’ve told you that many times." -You're beautiful. -Your cute -"Honestly cute, I’ve got nothing" -"I’d date you, which isn’t a compliment." -You look like you smell like aged cheddar. -"Quit the Waffle House… and shoot for the stars ✨Think Golden Corral or Chick Fillet, maybe even Starbucks." -You look like you leave your gum under the tables you bus -Nah bro pls. All the reason to live ! Cheers ! -Serviceable. Yes. -just leave him sis. its time -You put the awful ho in Waffle House -You will always smells like hashbrowns and not in a good way. -You work in a waffle house - what else needs to be said! -That moment when you’re shaped like an hour glass and a 2x4 at the same time. -Bruh you day shift ain’t no way you scrap -You would need breasts before you could “keep one”. -ofc this cringe boring bitch would be rocking a rick and morty shirt in 2024 -Future stripper. -You should fit in OF's ugly category. -"""Hmmnn, I don't know.... Take your shirt off first before I make up my mind."" - - - the officiant at your wedding" -This is the wrong missy -"Good choice wearing a loose top, so people would think that maybe you’re a size A" -At least you'll be struggling single mom soon. -The mom from inside out is working at the waffle house now? -"You look like the ""cash me ouside"" girl but they caught you outside and dragged you back in." -You misspelled no trump. -When I said “smothered and covered” I wasn’t talking about the hash browns. -"What do you and prostitutes have in common? - -The faster you work, the more tips you get." -It’s a waffle home -I call dibs on the body… -You look like people want to fuck you but no one wants to meet you. -just looks like a avg white girl with a jock boyfriend -I guess that explains why you washed your hair with maple syrup.. -"Don't stress.. -Everything will be OK.... -I know because your not using an Apple Product.." -You look like you drive a Pontiac grand prix. -You're one transition away from a homeless twink -Don't give up. You could end up at an IHOP one day.... -">18F, i work at waffle house, and i have no will to live so make it good - -Shut up and make me a waffle. You'll be fine." -Waffle House? You are attractive enough that you could probably work at any strip club that you wanted to -"Since you have a pixel, can you please remove the object with orange-black cover from the photo? Thanks." -I dont think i can fix you. -As long as you don’t mess up my order could care less about your will to live -Only you can make this Waffle House a Waffle Home. -You look like you're obsessed with a cute regular but never have the courage to speak to them. -I’m sorry I can’t. You look like Manvir Nahal and she’s my favorite 🤗 -You are beautiful. You have the look of someone who will blossom into a wonderful looking woman. Take care of yourself and eat the best you can. Life will make you into a gorgeous female. -"That’s a good start, I’m sure you make many of your customers happy with your wit, smile, looks. Your young, start putting away a little money away and invest it. Go to school if you want, even a class here and there and you will do great." -"Username checks out, turnips be missing -Now remove the letter t" -You look like a tadpole -Blue Waffle House*** -"Out of Alvin and the Chipmunks gfs, Jeanette with the glasses is my favorite." -Dont give girl! Soon you’ll be somebodys baby mama -"You know, if you get your life together now, and work really hard, who knows. In a few years, you could become a Buc-ee’s gas station cashier." -Still got the hook in her nose from being caught and released. They know better than to keep you. -"You look like the sorta waitress that bangs the chefs for free food - -A fry-sexual" -"and lets talk about that hair line, was this picture takin in covid because it looks like your eyebrows are social distancing, you can never be a pirate because their is no treasure on that chest." -"The 1920’s called, they want their washboard back." -Keep your hopes up. Maybe one day you can work your way up to head server at IHOP. -“Breakfast Sausage” is the nickname you gave to all of your male coworkers ! -You look like bad breath -So this is whose camel crush ash keeps ending up in my omelet -“I have no will to live” doesn’t mean to be said twice. You already mentioned it by saying you chose to work at Waffle House. -"I don't even want to roast you. You're cute and Waffle House workers are heroes. And that won't be your gig forever, so don't sweat it too much. The trick is not to fuck up your life in the meantime so when opportunity does knock you're smart enough to see it and prepared to go for it." -These Roast Me posts are so masochistic. -"Flatter chest than the griddle. - -You also look like you'd get your ass beat in a waffle house fight." -"In my experience you check so many boxes. Im sorry for your future. - -Clear phone case: Check -Piercing somewhere on face: Check -Either make up to create a whole new identity or natural-ish with acne: Check -Small-ish frame: Check -At least one form of baggy clothes: Check -Jewelry everywhere: Check. - -What is next? Dont tell me. Do you have a mental health issue or perhaps smoke week/vape? -Do you have a tiny pet?" -I am guessing your parents are really waffling if they should have had an abortion. -"When the employee handbook suggested 15 pieces of flair, that didn't mean to put them all on your face." -"Being the prettiest waitress at Waffle House is a lot like winning gold at the Special Olympics. Yeah you won, but still.." -How many step fathers have you had? One for each piece of jewelry? -You’re cute tho -"You’re actually really pretty. Your glasses may look great on you. - -To fulfill the roast quota, my partner said that you look like a humanoid mouse in a fever dream." -"Scattered, smothered, and covered in trucker jizz." -Nope... not doing it. No way. Not messing with mfs that handle my food 🤣🤣🤣 -I would not suggest applying at Hooters - at this point. -I'm pretty sure you're scrawny ass cant scrap so I'm calling bs on working at the awful house. The ladies that usually work there ..smoking over the grille while they make your food... those dudes throw tf down. I see you more of a looking for cigarette butts on the ground to smoke out back of the waffle house.. -Itty bitty titty committee -No will to live? Fuck…. I don’t wanna roast someone on the edge. That make me pathetic? So you’re a kid so just keep going forward. The world exists to the youth. You’ve got it all. Your glasses are cool. -"Although Waffle House is a necessary evil, your Rick and Morty shirt redeems you. But you're still a dork." -Dye your hair jet black and you will look like ultimate warlock satan worshiper. -Getting passed around by the cooks doesn't mean you work at the waffle house -"you are beautiful, loved, and worthy of appreciation" -Not sure what's bigger my dick or her nose -"Awwww I'm usually the first person to clown on sacrificial roast victims but I have no stone to throw at a young lady who is just starting out in life, has a job, is too cute, and has unlimited possibilities ahead of her. I'm just a little over twice your age and have made a ton of mistakes in my life and am basically starting over, and I know how it feels to not want to live, but for now if for nothing else I hope you keep on living so you can brighten the days of those around you with that pretty smile :-)" -You look like your step brother helped you get that shirt out of the dryer earlier when you got stuck -You look like someone who eats potato skins and spinach as your primary diet -You don't look like you could deflect any metal chairs or dicks being thrown at your face. -Even your wrists have cankles -Working at Waffle House because Uncle Daddy won't pay for your meth? -I bet you say the same thing on your OnlyFans account. -Is that a nose stud or a booger?! -Def fucking a BoH bro for coke and burnt waffles 😂 -The giant point on your elbows seems to be more pronounced than your chest -Obviously you are not getting any good tips with that body so you must be offering blowjobs as they wait for their food. -The only pretty looking thing is the back case of that phone. -You look like you've stopped many Waffle House flying chairs with your face -"Your sex life is like your work environment at 3am. Dark, loud, and everyone is disgusted with their meal. Someone always has to take an emergency shit and the shift usually ends when there’s a violent shooting." -It would be more appropriate if you worked at Pancake House with that flat-as-a-pancake chest of yours. -"Aww! I'll bet you're the fourth prettiest employee in the Waffle House! Right after Lou, who's been on HRT for under a month." -and somehow you rock an expensive pixel. btw on the same boat as you. -"My life may be a joke, but it's not as funny as your outfit" -You look like you work at waffle house -There are plenty of blind men looking for an allegedly hot GF. -I wouldn’t eat you even if you came with extra bacon. -"I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Waffle House before, but from what I hear it’s an even trashier Denny’s. Better than Only Fans I guess." -I can see why -Your complexion suits the cuisine you serve -Anyone ever google.blue waffle? It's her! -You look like you give dry handjobs to guys tip you more than $1 -"Your arm band thingie says keep a breast, yet you appear to have given both yours away" -"Yup, you do look like you would work at a wafflehouse." -Engaging in prostitution outside a Waffle House doesn't mean you actually work at Waffle House. -You’re such a disaster The Waffle House Index doesn’t even have a color for you. -Hiding Hit me baby one more and a blunt tattoo under this ugly oversized shirt -You could have fooled me thought you were 38 -"Daddy was right, you ain’t put together right for the pole, so Waffle House it is." -You look like you’ve lost so many fights in the Waffle House parking lot you ended up with two cauliflower ears and a cauliflower face… -If you had tits you could work at McDonald's -Your title is a lie. She for the streets. -You look like the woman an extremely shy man would practise asking girls out on -Come over here...I need a good ironing board -"You work at ***a*** waffle house. Maybe if you knew grammar, you wouldn't be working at waffle house." -she looks like she has a vocal fry -I’ve seen more character in a bowl of plain grits. -"So you know you're 4 foot tall but, then you went and said let's cover a third of that with 1980s glasses? - -Unenthusiastic HJ's at the Waffle House are back, tonight only! 🥱" -You look like you're a pick me girl who gets fucked by her group of guy friends then goes home feeling better about yourself somehow -Waffle House Lean Beef Patty -so you are saying there's a chance of you dying earlier than that pixel phone? -"Got promoted from a professional sandwich assembler at home, to a professional waffle maker on duty" -"Do you work AT the waffle house or is the waffle house where you conduct your ""business transactions""? 🤔" -That eyebrow piercing has about 12-18 months left before it grows out completely ... Not even inanimate body jewellery can stand to be around you. -"i hear you can make better tips at hooters, maybe you can…. uhhh nevermind" -I'm thinking of cashing it in too. Want to meet up and do a double? -Sucking a dude’s dick by the Waffle House dumpster is not “working at Waffle House” -"I tried to scroll, then I thought, why?" -I bet you're the prettiest girl on third shift. -She lives off the waffle house left overs. -Blue waffle house -Some poor dude forgot to pull out and jizz on your mother's tramp stamp....behind the dumpster at Wafffle House. -"Are you using the money to pay for your transition, sir? Ops, ma’am" -The Waffle House is beneath you. You could work at dennys -I bet you get lots of tips. And then they change their mind and leave. -Caseohs personal swrvant -So nobody has heard of a Boise State Puss Hog? -"Chair bender? Nah. - -You’re the gender bender." -Equal opportunity hands and lips. -Get a nail job and just use your mouth next time. -you ever go into work and wonder if some crazy bitch is gonna throw a chair at ur head -Nah suicidal intent is where I draw the line unless you’re just seeking attention lol -Are the buns on your head compensating for the lack of buns elsewhere? -You should write a book about your experiences at Waffle House. Or a photo book I’d customers doing weird shit. Or an insta and charge for watching. People will pay for dumb shit. -Just when I thought the food there couldn’t get any greasier -Look! Another desperate Gen Z loser who can't just work quietly and shut up about themselves. -Good to know you had a back up for when you got rejected by the strip club -Looks like she was born for waffle house. When you finna get into hard drugs? -they only let the most white trash people work at Waffle House. Congrats on fitting the criteria -Come around to my studio for a casting. I won’t pay you anything but l’ll circulate your video to multiple producers who pay upwards of $5000 a day. Interested? -You look like you come pre-lubricated with bad life choices. -Get rid of your nose ring before a attach a 9 volt battery -Stop banging your manager in the supply closet -I don't really think you're going to need a will if you work at Waffle House. You also need to know who your family is if you want someone to inherit. -Should have been waffle stomped in the shower -You look like a gagger i used use to empty my mid day high jerk off session in the back. -She's the only one there not getting flipped over and buttered. -"Much like the Waffle House, avoid the eggs with this one" -"You should be happy to be alive, the world needs its uninteresting background actors." -Cue fake depressed Teenager lol. -The Waffle House has found a new host -Waffle House? She’s clearly housing a blue waffle in her undies.. -I’d never learn your name. You’d always be “kinda cute waffle girl” -Brown shirt and brown pants. I have no words….. -I’d rather eat a waffle -Do something different with your life because your current path is going to create more of you -"“Covered and Smothered” - -That’s how your boyfriend wants you." -"The waffles house, where strippers and crack whores who can can’t work go to work" -Good to know where on the highschool drop out to daytime stripper pipeline you are. -….Do you use the waffle grease as foundation? -Well at least we don't have to be depressed about someone beautiful wasting their life. You look like you were meant to. -"The baby is not going to change that. - -And hopefully the manager is the dad, not the cook." -"im guessing that you didn't do well in school, you smoke a lot of pot, play a lot of video games, and want more piercings in your face. you probably are questioning your sexuality. you're doing great at life kitten, keep up the hard work. i know those 5 hr shifts are a tough." -"You look like you're dating the married manager, sorry, did I say dating? I meant blowing him under his desk once a week while you hope and pray he leaves his wife for you." -"Are you excited about buying your first bra, soon?" -"I can’t tell if you are wearing pants in that picture, or if your legs and hips are just pasty white and gnarly." -"By “work at Waffle House” does that mean you bang homeless dudes in an alley for $11.60 mmm grand slam. - -You’ve got the look of someone who’s downstairs is definitely scattered…and smothered." -"She came there for the money, but stayed for the black men." -"You wont work at waffle house long but, you have a long career as a practice girl at least" -Thank God my state isn't popular for having waffle houses -"I mean after you get that liberal arts degree, you at least will still have a job lined up." -How many times have you been in trouble for soliciting at work? Your manager can’t keep covering for you even if he likes the blowwies -Hate from NC -You don't need a will if you die with $37 bucks in cash -you look like you faked a pregnancy to get attention. -you look like you trat the pe teacher like the father that you never had -Sad if true -"You look like you say, ""Wubba lubba dub dub!"" as your catch phrase" -Can we talk about why you dont have no will to live instead? Real talk here. -"Saying you have ""no will to live"" shouldn't be this trendy, cool, silly little thing that your dumb ass generation has made it. YOU AREN'T IN JAIL, YOU ARE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO WORK.. SO STFU" -A picture and story we can definitely smell -It’s good to know Waffle House is hiring people with special needs. -Not even Eldrick would tap this one. -"Isn’t “work at a Waffle House” and “no will to live” redundant? Stop sticking sharp things through your face, it doesn’t distract anyone from the fact that you use bacon grease from work as skin cream. Those nails are the proof that you lack the basic capacity for basic hygiene." -You look like you do meth occasionally -"Nobody, with any sense, is attacking a Waffle House chick." -You look like you give sloppy head to the kitchen staff by the dumpsters after a long shift. -"If you were in one of those 90s teen movies, you could take off your glasses, do a full makeover, and look exactly as average as you do here. - -When shit hits the fan at the Waffle House, you’re the one ducking behind the counter because you can’t fight, and aren’t strong enough to throw a chair. - -You should’ve listened to your bracelet." -"For the next couple years you’ll be also known for the best of the worst things that waffle house has to offer, along side the horrible throat fucks you “promised are the best in town” cause that’s what your 60 year old boss and daddy say (since those are the only tips you ever get)just felt like I was fucking left over dried up waffle dough cause it “looked like a good idea at the time” <- probably not your first time hearing that) but really was just a huge waste of my time, energy and nut. It also took away my will too live…" -Do you ever bathe? You look filthy like a slop hog. -Using depression and suicidal ideation as character traits. You are about as unique as a waffle house. -You look more burnt out than your restaurant’s food -Apparently your bracelet didn't do anything of value because it looks like you've already lost both -You look like you grew up in house that smells like pets but you didn't have pets -I think this is proof that cum doesn't actually clear up skin -Boring.. -You don’t have a breast to keep. -Your chains give you the respect of a low level drug dealer -Syrup is your excuse on why you are sticky all the time -Do you get a discount on waffles? Yum! -Blue waffle? -“Working behind a waffle house” -You look like you could make a couple bucks on onlyfans -Blue waffle house more like -She looks like she doesn’t shave and keeps it “fresh “ 🙄 -Waffle House. Butter face. -I see a black leather couch in your future. -You look scattered smothered covered chunked snd topped. -"You look chopped, chunked and smothered" -"Bitch, how? You work at FUCKING WAFFLE HOUSE!! If anything, your survival instinct is OVER DEVELOPED!! ""I WuNna DY Sooo BaD"" BULL. -SHIT. You work at the one place that's legally closest to FIGHT CLUB by Chuck Palanuik. Bitch doesn't wanna die, she's just trying to lure in people she and her psycho co-workers can jump. I'm on to you... - -GTFOH...." -comment -I think fate roasted you enough as it is -You look like the night clerk at a Super 8 motel who spends his shift watching the spy cams he put in the rooms. -How long did you scrub that desk to get all the jizz off to take this picture? -I was having a bad day then saw you. Thanks. -"You didn't have to say you were a virgin, that was redundant looking at the picture" -Well at least you can post on r/ cleavage from the neck down. -"Buy low sell high, so I guess I'm buying" -Sounds like you would be the perfect Mod -Even god makes mistakes -"Move the paper, let’s see them titties!" -I bet those hands aren’t virgins. -Bro looks like they got 7 hentai pictures and 6 waifus lmfao -You’re pathetic enough without our help -"Tyrannosaurus Rex called, he wants his arms back." -Youve got a bright future working at the local sharwama restaurant -"There’s no shame in being a virgin… - -Unless you’re 37" -Do you pull your limbs into your body at night to keep warm? -Blubber doesn’t turn into ash. It melts. -You didn’t need to put virgin in the bio… we could already tell -This fat slob of a loser couldn't get laid inside a women's prison. -At least you got a nice pair of tits -"bro got rejected in every way possible(jobs, family, and his bitches" -"Life has been hard enough on you, no roast for you." -You look like gas station food -Resting constipation face -"Add ""failed t-shirt model"" to your list as well." -You look like the guy sending the white texts on r/ScammerPayback -Have you considered turning to hard drugs? -Your introduction speaks for itself -37 year old virgin is literally the joke -Interesting build -There you are! You hung up on me! Do I redeem the card or not?!?! -37 y/o virgin... this tells me even prostitutes refuse to sleep with you no matter the price -U kno u positioned that piece of paper so your abnormal pepperoni rings wouldn’t be seen. -Why do people do this to themselves? -"I know you’re probably gonna say something, but bro these are the choices that you made that put you in this position. If you want change, you have to change." -You look like you'd stare at a mirror while you wank just so you can see some jiggly tits in real life before you cum and ask your mom to stay out of your room. -When love handles are your best feature -"On the plus side, you’ve got great tits!" -You need to stop using the Buffett coupons for jizz towels -"just when you get bored with the dictionary definition of failure, this creature shows up !" -I can't believe you managed to make John Oliver look *even less* sexually experienced. -I’ve been on hold for over 5 minutes -Life has already roasted you enough mate. -Stop calling me for Microsoft support and go sell chai on streets. -We don’t need to roast you. One of the live wires in your country will take care of that. -I can smell this image -"Damn dude. I think you roasted yourself harder than I could. - -How did we get here? How did you make it to 37 and still a virgin? - -I feel like there has to be some story or reasoning behind it. - -I don't even want to roast. This is legit interesting." -"YOU are lying about the virgin part, you've definitely been fucked by a male hooker." -I'm glad you finally realized that your belly button doesn't count -You couldn't lose your virginity even if you fell into a large barrel of vaginas. -Poor guy can't even jerk his meat with those little T-Rex arms -"Of course you are a virgin, you fat nerdy fuck. Look at you. Check your diet, hit the gym and perhaps also learn to socialize properly." -"On the plus side, you can use the computer to start a successful career in credit card scamming" -You’re living the Japanese dream! -This is the picture of a dude that has absolutely nothing going on. -"“…no career and no degree…” - -Don’t forget no prospects. You also have no prospects." -I feel like your idea of no career is making under $150000 -Bet this guy's setup is in his mom's basement -At least 15tb worth -Waste of space. Don’t need a degree but at least get your ass a job. -At this point just get a prostitute -"Man I bet everyday your mom sees you living in her basement, she regrets she didn't swallow." -"*sees title* - -Yeah, checks out." -Seriously dude -You look like the Indian uncle that works at my 7/11 -T Rex was extinct we thought but we were wrong -"Bro, you are 37 without any career, degree or a partner. There isn’t anything we can do which life hasn’t done to you already" -Looks like arranged marriage wouldn't work for u -This is extremely sad. I genuinely feel bad for you and don't want to roast you. Holy shit man. Please take care of yourself. -Strangely enough I've met several other men named Ash Patel ... -Looks like I don't really need to do anything here. -Did you just stop your scamming business in india? -Have you tried respawning? -"You have done such a good job fucking your own life up, do you even need us." -Do you have to set an alarm with those ears or do you just hear the sun rise? -You are what every teen boy fears becoming. -Nice tits -Can you really be a virgin when life has fucked you this hard? -He look as if his mom got violated by a T-Rex and what dripped out of her fertilized a nearby frog pond and he spawned out fully grown. -Rakesh Sanchez Perez Delgado Patel. You look like you own a Dunkin’ Donuts on 178 st in the south Bronx. Why does your nose look like it comes off with your glasses? Ngl vikram you look like a mantis shrimp that accidentally swallowed his claw. Why is your arms so friggn short? They had to give you 21” by 8“ paper to hold up that damn sign. If you sneeze you’ll rip that shit in half. -I’m using your photo to prevent early ejaculation. -I'd kick it with you.. fuck the haters -At least you have your health… -This keyboard have some unidentified new type of virus 🦠 turn me to ash at least that was funny 😁 -Get a prostitution or escort job and make yourself the john..now go fuck yourself. Both boxes checked. -Speaking of ash -Heey I also rocked an esl wallpaper when I was 14 -I've seen better looking men floating down the Ganga. -Get out of the way so I can better admire the Seahawks team color wall -"You just roasted yourself, bud..." -Should have used a poster board as your sign -I don't want to roast you... I balue by behicle extended warranty too much -You look like you'll be in prison soon enough for innaporpiate pictures of minors. You can get a degree there -"Send a message to the Nelk Boys, they might be able to help ya out" -"i'm guessing that the ""calling about your car insurance"" call center career didn't work out???" -Not even the Aghori would touch you -T rex arms -Thank you come again -You need a hooker. -"You want Ash? Look no further than your ashy skin bruh, Osama bin not moisturising" -"Ash is your crush, isn't he?" -Turn you to ash? theres enough of that on your computer desk. -Are you hoping to be a slime or an 8th son? -Just get a hooker bro. As long as she’s free. -"No roast needed,... ROASTED YOUR SELF ALREADY" -"If you want to be turned to ash, can't you find an Ashram?" -Lil fat neck ahh lil wide back ahh -And by shower too? -"At least you are expecting twins, that is a good thing" -You like you get off to masochism like this post title -Why turn you to ash when you could just scratch your elbow with a dry crusted sock? -what happened? -Thanks for covering your tits -Incredible how you manage to look like someone who tries to lure kids into your van and they end up beating your ass and robbing the vehicle. -I like how you posted yourself with your pc jn the background to really fold it in -It appears your skin care routine is already doing that. Get some goddamn lotion and use it for something other than jacking off to ladyboy porn -"And to think your parents wanted you to become a doctor or lawyer… - -(Also 100% plays league of legends)" -I see you’re back to bittorrenting auntie porn. -"You already are ash with the inept life you’ve allegedly created for yourself, my friend" -Passport was stamped with Scam Likely. -Stop Scam People online! -You look like you stare at people through the bookshelves in a library. -You'd probably make it as a decent Indian chef if it weren't for the multiple restraining orders filed against you. -You look like you smell like shit 🤢 -Ash is versatile and can serve a purpose though. -"Seriously dude, hire a hooker." -Sure you don’t mean Ashe? -Your names probably already Ash. -"We are all going to end up the same way at the end of the day, so do what makes you happy, dont let society make you think you have to act a certain way, or be a certain way, trust me, your not missing much not having been with a women" -Seriously dude. Get a hooker. -What’s the point -You know it smell crazy in there -"Ash is a world champion, you could never." -"Get your ass in a gym dude. Start eating whole foods, cut the sugar out of your diet and stop jacking off so much. You jack off TOO much man, everyone can see it." -I think genetics already did a good job -Pretty sure Ash is the short form of your actual name. -OFC you have a gift card for a free buffet! -"Sounds like life has already done that, so why try to re-invent the wheel." -You look like you run a scam center -You have a fucking weird torso. It’s like someone stuck your head on a bar of soap and added pipe cleaner arms that aren’t proportionate to anything. -Just pay for it. -Anything anyone could say here would be a step up from your description of yourself. -Jonah Hill of he was hindi and gayer. Nice -the glasses and your weight are roasting u already😭 -"You could have bought a badass home gym with what you spent on monitors, a college degree with what you spent on ""entertainment"" subscriptions, a good-looking wardrobe for what you spent on memorabilia. Let me tell you a joke. What's attached to a leash that it made itself? The way that you've been fucking yourself." -You seem like a nice person with a good personality -Ash? That's your sperm. -The paper ain't covering those bitch tits bob -At least you can still find a career -Is that a family pack of tickets to an all you can eat buffet on your desk? -Nah you got two screens. You’ll be alright -Just go make bank. Then go pay for it -I believe in you brother turn it around! -How do people even get like this -His hands are drier than his dick -You didn't have to say you didn't have a career. I could tell by that Corsair Mousepad. -Even hookers turn him down. . I'm sorry bro -"Life is a roast for you, sorry" -Full screen BitTorrent is a lil wild bro… -Bro is built like a T-rex -"You can hold the paper in front of them, but we can still infer you need a bra" -Don’t give up on your dreams! I believe in you! -picture says more than the title -"You look like you know Chris from Microsoft support, I'm glad he let me pay I'm Amazon gift cards, he was really nice and asked me all about my life, my mum's family, my pets names and everything. - -Can you ask him to give me a call back as I'm having some problems with my computer again, when I log into online banking it says I took out several loans, but I don't remember doing that, so maybe it's just a glitch? - -I dunno, but I'm sure that you could help out as well, thanks sweetie." -Why do you have toddler keys -A virgin with no career? You roast yourself daily 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ -Jonah over the Hill -Good try covering up your oversized man breast with the roastme sign. -"We can see your desktops, they’re roasting you far harder than anything we could say." -37 my ass. You're pushing 50. And not pushing it yourself obviously cuz you look like a lazy piece of shit so you would probably pay someone else to push it. -"No degree doesn’t really mean shit (unless you want to be a lawyer, engineer or doctor), but holy fuck dude do something about a career - -(Not a roast I know, just a general comment)" -Easiest cosplay ever. Tyrannosaurus Rex. Just got to figure out how to make your arms look longer... -How many bodies do you have in your freezer? -"You look like Mr.Potato Head, if you removed his shoes and replaced them garbage." -You’re no virgin. You’ve definitely fucked yourself. -I can see why you're a Virgin. -"Well, there’s always blowup dolls. So you got that going for ya." -"I won’t take your virginity but I bet I could milk -those udders" -I’d have thought the self description would have done you in -Got an A+ in lunch and still no degree smh. -You fuckin suck dude -You should have been a doctor starting a family at least ten years ago. Your race has cancelled your membership! -That's going to be me in 20 years. -"surely I can‘t say anything worse than you must’ve said to yourself a thousand times before, staring at the mirror with your beady eyes, those little t-rex arms, incongruously hanging on to your plump torso barely contained by an uninspiring and sweat-stained t-shirt through which the slight outline of a bra is visible; reminding you that you were meant to be a man but failed." -Doesn't matter how many times you turn to ash you'll just be reborn as useles as you are now -Bro you look like you would be a walmart greeter during the thanksgiving sale. -Your shirt is wrinkled -Did u take this photo in a basement -Well at least you look healthy adjacent. -Your dick is likely ash from all the tugging -Too tight to dish a little money out on a sex worker -Fucking dole bludger… -Dude plz get some puss -Porn n grub hubbin through life -You have two comments and they are both in the pubg mobile subreddit. -I think the “37 y/o virgin with no career and no degree.” Is really all you need. -Pretty sure you have some Pokémon cards in that back pocket….Ash. -Yeah we should turn you to ash because no one will be there to cremate you -You go to the local pet store and touch various types of fish just so you can smell your fingers later and fire off some knuckle children. -You couldn’t even get laid in a Mumbai whorehouse. -"You live with your parents but tell people it's because you take care of them even though they own the house you're living in and pay all the bills. Oops I forgot, you buy random groceries and call it even." -1+ monitor than me but you're still unhappy -You look like you have to introduce yourself to the neighbors. -Dude trying to hide his titties with a piece of paper -You look 57. -I think the existential dread of wasting the best years of your life on whatever you were doing and never really experiencing life will do more to you than I ever could roasting you. -"You know how when you go to the fridge and open the door and there's nothing that you want? You close the door and stand there for a few seconds, lower your expectations and open the door again. Do that with your life." -What is going on with that back wall? Did you sneak into the back room of a tech conference so that you could pretend to own a computer? -Learn how to code. While that's still a job not done by AI. The people with the most terrible personalities do that work; we can do it too. -"Hey, you're that guy that keeps calling my nan about the 7000 bitcoin she has in her virtual wallet!" -"I've got a feeling you're gonna turn yourself into ash, when u realize your life's worth is to strap up that bomb vest and walk barefoot into a market" -Wow everything I wish I was at 37 instead I fuck up big time -You’ve already managed that on your own. -Life is the only thing that has fucked you. -"Hey, Look on the bright side! In three more years you can star in “40-Year-Old Virgin Too.”" -Just your aura through a phone made me depressed -This is why the IT service desk ticket #543782 is still open. -I hope you have a good day -Thank you for not contaminating the gene pool any further. -37? Are you sure? -Look like a guy who wears the same tshirt till it grows legs -"Hey, you have kind eyes and your sex life is none of my business. I wish you the best as you work your way through this human experience that we’re all a part of" -No roast necessary just look in the mirror -Your culture permits arranged marriages and you're *still* a virgin? -Bro probably practices his kissing on his sister -Your semen is ash -That's nice. They let you get your picture taken at work at the call center in India. -"ESL one wallpaper lol, I can't beat that man" -You ever hear about prostitutes? Cheaper than a wife -"Mooj : Hey u/IMP3R1AL87 don't let these Redditor roasters bother you. It's okay not to have sex, not eveybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25? - -u/IMP3R1AL87 : I’m 37. - -Mooj : Holy shit man, you *got* to get on that!" -You did it to yourself with that caption bud -Not even the blue and green screens behind you can render a girlfriend for you. -I forgot that fucking goats doesn’t count as sex in some cultures -"Don't beat yourself up, calling me from a random 1-800 number to tell me I'm late on my taxes, and I can repay the government in gift cards is nobel" -Seems like God has already done the hard work here. -"I don't want to honestly , hope ya find some direction chief. Best wishes." -Dude if they had a contest with the most ugly guy alive you'd win CONSISTENTLY -"I've fucked goats better looking than you. -Everyone on Reddit has done the same." -"Stop answering customer service calls with “Hello, my name is Michael, how can I help you?”." -You have a buffet entry…which is nice -Bro is already ash you asking people to turn your ass into oblivion -Get a better keyboard -I’m sorry id feel bad roasting an almost homeless person -Those ligature marks on your neck tell me that someone unfortunately didn't finish the job. -"Trump wants his very large, very normal hands back." -You won once - you were the fastest sperm. -"Shit dude, most people at least accidentally stumble and fall into pussy by then. Broadcast that shit and get cougared ya dumb fuck!" -50 terabytes. iykyk -Blue screen AND green screen?! That’s insanity -What's taking you so long? -No career ? I talk to you at least 3 times a week on the phone and you're threatening to call the cops on me if I don't get you an Amazon Gift Card. -Slumdog…that’s it. -"37 y/o virgin WITH NO career AND NO degree, you turned yourself into ash buddy. Sorry for the pity." -"to admit you're a 37 y/o virgin must be easy on reddit but in person probably hard asf, anyways lose that shit before your 40 because then there's a movie dedicated to 40 y/o virgins XD" -"If that's true, I honestly feel bad for you. Maybe I can call tech support and we could talk about this." -"Mom says not to burn trash, sorry" -Here for the comments. -Hey I also have that mouse pad -"He gets a new 5 pack of that same shirt every two months from amazon prime, extra roomy for every occasion" -Virgin by choice ..? I feel like everyone can actually get laid I need some intel -The embodiment of depression -Be well -"I don't know what's more pathetic, the fielding in the European Super League or your dress sense." -The next star of 40 years old virgin. -You will never get laid with a dusty ass desk like that you dirty virgin. -"You have done that on your own but Jesus saves, forgives and will make you a new person reborn into light rather than darkness. Forgiveness rather than judgement if you are willing to believe and ask!! God bless you!" -You're fully aware of all these things and instead of taking action you make a post on reddit? Do you think this will fill the void some how? Video games not doing it for you lately? It's over for you dude. -Bro just go to your local Back Pages and lose it already… -"He’s looking right but his nose, left." -Op did all the roasting himself -Currently on set filming my first starring role in Human Centipede 8: The Nerdipede -"Yooooo, help me with game mods" -How the hell did this happen? -You look ashy enough already. Instead of using all that lotion on masturbating to whatever weird shit you’re into you should rub some on your arms and neck. -Tinder for the love of god -Dude. Just buy a hooker. -I bet that room smells -I’ll make you not a virgin -He the guy who goes in the rooms with a black light and licks all the glowing spots -That piece of paper is not hiding those mushy titties. -"Honestly, I can’t. Your life isn’t so bad. I was a virgin until 30, and now I have kids and a wife and no time or money to play games. The sex is nice, though. You should figure out a way to have some of that." -"Hey, are you supposed to be working at the mall cellphone case kiosk?" -37 going on 55. -I’m surprised you’re a virgin. You’ve got great tits. -"You look like an elephant shit in a tube sock after eating Chipotle. - -Mic drop." -"How are you affording rent, utilities, food, healthcare?" -7-11 store owner in the making -I think he inadvertently admitted that not even a hooker will bang him -gas station? -Are you the guy always calling me pretending to be the electric company -Omg these comments lolololol -God has his purpose for everyone. Expect for you. -Bro you can wash mouse pads in the washing machine -You look like you were grazing in a field when the aliens kidnapped you. -I bet you play DOTA so much you have a shit bucket under your desk. -"So desperate, even Hangelina doesn't want him" -3 more years and you can boast that the movie that came out years ago is based on your life story. -"I can come up with no better roast than the one you used to describe yourself in the post's title. Well done, sir! You win at r/RoastMe!!" -He spend his entire life braiding his little sisters hair and was to dumb to make it a career. 😂 -Do you have titties? -You look like you already turned yourself to ash with that dusty skin -Sounds like a repetitive wrist injury cummin in -For the love of God man; hire a hooker or something. -OP is downplaying it. That tubby Hindu has been a virgin for 37 lifetimes at least. -"This picture has a smell, like BO and jizz." -I could see this guy squishing bags of sand in 3 years -are u Rly a virgin ? why wpuldnt u pay for it ? i find that hard to believe/. imagine -"I know it's not the point of these but it's never to late to make a change brother - -You look fully able and I bet you have enough sense to figure something out for yourself. 37 isn't even close to retirement age but if your ever going to do anything now is the time" -Why? You kinda already did that to yourself. -You look like you took a severe beating for eating the village cow. -"You’re not just a member of masturbators anonymous, you’re the president" -"Voted “most likely to get caught by his mom playing Minecraft while masturbating.” And that was yesterday. The worst part is, the only one who voted in the poll was his mom." -You kinda already roasted yourself bro -...you just said your own roast. -You mentioned being a virgin and failure but you tried to gloss over being fat and having less hair than a porcelain vase as if we wouldn't notice? -Definitely fucka that computer while his anime wife is pulled up -Stop playing Counter Strike -"Fascinating specimen, honestly. I guess I assumed that there were SOME virgins around and I know there are lots of people without degrees, but even if you happen to be both, the odds of you not having compensated in some way to find a half-ass “career” seem almost astronomical. I applaud you sir, in your uniqueness. No roast. Good luck." -I hereby convert you into an Islamic Demon -Love your confidence stated in the caption 🤣 -"You’re ashy enough, my guy." -"Can't do that, life has already been too harsh on you" -You look like you’ve never even masturbated -good luck dude <3 -You look like a discord moderator -You look like you giggle when you hear the word “vagina” -Man if you laid off the available buffets you might not need to get clothes that would pass off for twin size bedsheets. -No I don't want to -You look like the Indian customer service scam people I get calls from everyday. -I don't think it's gonna happen for you bro. Can't wait to see the comments when you make that 60 y/o virgin post -"A man so desperate for sex, he will not rule out going to a gay bear orgy." -Did you setup your homeless shelter at a preschool? Why is you walls painted two tone?! -Couldnt pay me enough to look at his browser history. -you look like a cool dude man. -You look like a potato. 🥔🥔🥔 -*You deserve this.* -You look like you tell Andy to go fuck goats -Damn the movies/shows got the stereotype correct -Behen chod -I thinks he’s gonna get off to these insults -How the hell are you a virgin at 37??!🤣🤣😂 I thought everyone got laid eventually lmfao I guess not lol -"its nice of your mom to let you live in the corner of her basement. - - I'm sure when she refers to you as the ""troll"" its done of of ""love"" ?" -"You have more chins than a Chinese phone book, you look like you moderate this subreddit, your lips have a restraining order on your beard, you probably smell horrendous, you look like you have 2tb of hentai on your computer, and jesus christ someone get you some handwriting classes." -You look like you’d get rejected for arranged marriages -"no need for the title, we can already tell" -"show us your elbows, bet those are ashy enough" -Go to your country and get prostitute -You just turned yourself to ash -Roasts are supposed to punch up not down. I hope you get the help you need buddy. -Bro we can’t burn you it’ll start a grease fire in your parents basement -Bro pay for a prostitution at that point😭 -you look like a kind person -The lowest kdr but the highest scam rate -Damn that’s just sad -I’ll call the producer from Super Troopers first thing in the morning and see if he would be willing to donate Farva’s used Ursela doll to the man. He needs some love too. 🤙 -You look like you waddle when you walk. Like a penguin. -Your haircut explains you are virgin. Your desk dust explains you have no career. But your glasses fakes you have a degree. -Hang in there bud -I will not contribute to this sadistic behaviour -You beat us to it . -Chicken Tikka Quagmire -Take a shower and shave! -Turned out to be the loser thar mom always said you would be. -You’re just a bum? -" -Cal cutta fart" -I think you’ve done that job well enough on your own. -Can you give me back my money you scammed? -Bro is a general of all league of legends players -"I don't usually suggest drugs to people, but cocaine MIGHT MAYBE, highly doubtful in your case tho, be able to help you lose those manbies" -"Bro probably cries himself to sleep, and to wake up." -How you already roasted yourself. -You could have just said 37 y/o and we would have known the context just by looking at the photo. -How you gonna be dumb and look like Steve Urkel all at the same time? -I think the FBI should just preemptively put you on a predator list. -Ok but how does this happen and how tf are u surviving -Bro if you worked out and went on a healthy diet. You could be a ripped virgin. -"Man, fuck women! In your case, metaphorically, not literally." -"You look like you attend Pokémon tournaments carrying a sandwich your mom made you, a go gurt and a king size snickers all packed in a limited edition teenage mutant ninja turtles lunch box that you take pride in and show off to teenagers st said tournament ...that your mom begrudgingly drives you to breathing and seathing with quiet rage between clenched teeth wondering how much more of this she can endure." -You just turned yourself to ash man - Goblin Coomer -You actually have to use sandpaper to clean all the dried cum from your mousepad and desktop. -"No career AND no degree? What's next, no parents?" -Bro I hope you’re at least good at games -This is what a natural birth control looks like -He called me and said I owed the IRS 2 grand. That sneaky bastard -Just go to Amsterdam at this point. Get it over with. -You look like a doctor who had his license revoked... but I guess you would need a career for that first 🤷‍♂️ -Your skin is so ashy it teamed up with Pikachu. -"Based on your appearance, you'll probably never get laid...not by a woman at least. 😬" -Aloo Sofa -"I’m reminded of a battle rap bar - - -“He could use some more vagina - - -Cuz a girl wouldn’t look his way of there was a unicorn behind him”" -Bro go outside -"> 37 y/o - -You look like a 50 year old child." -"Good news is that the buffet is available, am i right?" -Thats my motivation to exercise/uni/eat right for the rest of the year sorted. -"Really dude, I can't say anything worse than what you have done to yourself." -I think you did it yourself man damn -Well you have man tits and no one can take that away from you. -hello? this is indian tech supportor how may i help you -Honestly your dick is probably ashy enough because it's never been wet. -You are fine? -The bomb you’ll stick up your ass to blow up your victims house you been stalking for months will turn you to ash -Are u having a laugh. This is too easy read the rest of the comments -Herald -Honestly if I saw you in public I’d probably think this of you. -Ahhh so this is what M Night Shayamalan's failed son would look like 🤔 -"Damn, you have balls posting this on reddit man. I have no roast for someone with courage of that caliber. Kudos sir, purvey that courage with girls and you’ll get your dick wet in no time." -Thanks for inspiring me (a 21 year old) -Bro's a virgin but the world fucks him up everytime -"Just buy some sex, Jesus christ" -comment -Looking like a dollar store NavaHoe -">make me cry... - -Me: <*padlocks the fridge*>" -"If I had a face like that, I’d want to punch a bunch of holes and spikes in it too." -"Remember kids, looking different just for the sake of looking different is not always a good ideia" -Your hair is beautiful. It’s a shame it’s all on your arms -"You're the insufferable hippie everyone hates. - -Make sure you charge your rocks in the moon light otherwise you'll have bad luck and gonorrhea for the next 15 years or some shit." -On behalf of everyone: we don't want to see your other piercings. -"If you add just a bit more metal, I bet that'll fix it!" -You ever look at a girl and just *know* she does anal? -If you were my only option- I’d stay home and purchase a Brazzers account -"That face you make when you try to look like Cleopatra, but end up looking like Genghis Khan after a shave." -"You look dirty, like hep-c kinda dirty" -">26F // make me cryy :P - -your self-esteem is as low as your nipples." -Teeth social distancing like it's still 2020! 😝 -"""Love"" tattoo with a sad face as the O, -Broken heart tattoo with a sword through it, -Sounds like crying is your pass time, this is a place for jokes, Sir." -"I don’t need to say anything to make you cry, looking into the mirror should be enough" -"This bitch wants to get roasted, - -so burn her good till she’s toasted. - -Her body is dumpy, her style is frumpy. - -That’s why she keeps getting creampied, - -Then ghosted." -Leave the nose metal for farm animals -You look like a member of the Shine-a-cock tribe and your tribal name is She Does Stepdad -You look like you burn incense and cry yourself to sleep while cuddling a salt rock. -You don’t need us to make you cry. Try a mirror. Full length if possible. -Has your dad come back with the milk yet? -Parents putting hog rings in to keep her from rooting around the buffet table at the family functions -All I need is a magnet. A really strong magnet. -"“Tattoos enhance your personality” well -Not here" -How to scare away every decent man in a 5 mile radius -Every seat you sit in smells like poo after you get up. -"The ""my only source of self worth comes from letting guys nut on me"" classic edition" -I can’t roast someone who already survived a crossbow bolt to the face. -Somehow I bet that hand tattoo is the least of your worst decisions recently -"Nose ring completes your “cow girl” look quite literally except for your grossly out-of-proportion, inadequate tits compared to your body fat percentage" -We get it. You were aborted but managed to survive. -I’ve always wondered what ice cream would taste like with a mouth full of chiclets. -"I bet allergy season has you leaking snot out of your head, like a faulty sprinkler." -It almost looks like you thought you weren’t naturally ugly enough and so you decided to accessorize -"You ever seen my big fat Gypsy wedding? - -This is a big fat Gypsy without any chance of a wedding." -This is the genie you get when you rub a crack pipe three times. -"Selfie in the public bathroom: - - -Aka I am self-absorbed and/or I'm lazy and should be working rn - - -Also the bridge piercing just accentuates where your unibrow used to be - - -Look up accentuates if you're not sure what that means" -When cleavage is saggy you know there’s trouble below. -"If you just want to cry, look in the mirror" -when was the last time you used the bathroom to shower instead of just taking selfies? -Involved in hair pulling brawls in dive bar parking lots every weekend. -"If I pulled all those terrible piercings out, you’d cry." -Your horoscope is Selfiecorn. -Lookin like Jason Momoa's big toe -You have thicker sideburns than Elvis. -One of the few people that needs to back to being locked in someone's basement -"Great, a girl with fat arms but wait…. Flat & Saggy tits?!" -Yeah man I like treating my face like a bulletin board too -First time I've seen a bellies dancer -Do the snakes on your arms help keep the flies away? -Now I know who stole my tackle box -"*has new boyfriend every 6 months* -*drives a Subaru * -*mild ketamine addiction*" -You look like a kid made a wish on a shooting star and someone found you unconscious on the floor of a smoke shop the next morning. -Tell us your dad left when you were little without telling us -I can smell the disappointment and yearn for dad’s love. -It’s like you’re intentionally trying to be unattractive… -Can't. You made me cry first. -I can hear you asking me what time I was born already -Queen of the Neverwash tribe -You're definitely on the used dildo mailing list -This is Reddit NOT the submission form to be on What Not To Wear. That show ended in 2013. -These pictures look like a progression of a meth addict. Starts out normal and by the ends it’s BJ’s for $20 bucks. -I loved your rendition of somewhere over the rainbow -I'm sure it's the NEXT piercing that will bring daddy back home... -"No, we have young America Ferrera at home!! The America Ferrera at home." -Shitty tattoos. Shitty clothing. Shitty piercings. What are the chances she doesn’t have a shitty personality? -Just say it. You want attention -Nobody here is going to be able to damage you as much as your Dad has. -r/picturesyoucansmell -i bet your nipples are cockeyed -Doesn’t the mirror already make you cry? -"I’m sure you cry enough, no need for anyone to say anything" -"damn, you don't have enough tattoos and piercings yet, I can still see the ugliness!" -"Yikes, silver dollar flapjacks." -I got Herpes just scrolling by this post. -"Aladdin 2: It’s 15 years later, and Jasmine has syphilis and a bad attitude." -At least you can turn on a metal detector. -When did you transition? -Looks like a wrecked car about to be towed by a truck! -She looks like she smells. -You definately went above and beyond on making yourself as unattractive as possible with that nose bridge piercing ✊️✊️✊️ -The thirty lbs you put on between the last photo and the first already did -Your transitioning looks almost believable! -Wow… I’ve never seen an ice cream cone go soft before. -Animal crossing white fence ah teeth -You look like you got face fucked by a hardware store. -"If you can’t afford to finish the tattoos, at least buy a bra to some definition on you!" -"The word alt comes to mind, as in, I wish I could alt delete these photos from my memory." -"You look like you use dressing/acting boho as an excuse to not shower. - - -Also the fact that you’re 26 and have that wall decor is….. something." -"What would I say that you haven't already done to your body, probably for money?" -Your face could unlock the secrets of Magneto's worst fear -If you were playing in my back garden I wouldn't even open my curtains -"Were the toothy blowjobs not painful enough for your dad, that you thought adding sharp metal in your face would make it stop?" -The only metal that should be on your face is some braces to fix those gaps. -"Honey, you’re supposed to spit OR swallow." -I wouldn’t fvck you with your d1ck. -Are you going for that sexy chubby look? You’re halfway there… -We're the same age and you look twice my age -You look like a generic pack of cigarettes -you look like a giant incense cone -Would it be low hanging fruit if I mention your saggy breasts ? -"I bet your favorite phrase is ""you can't judge me you don't know what I've been through"", but I know. Dicks lots of dicks from old fat white dudes" -That's ezzy look in the mirror 🪞🪞 lol lmao if that face doesn't make u wanna cry I don't no what will a homeless crake head would not kiss that for 100 bucks -So what’s the narcan count on your nostriles? -"No need. You look like you cry on your own, without any good reasons" -You look like you smell your fingers. -Unattractive people do not become attractive by piercing their skin with metal and dying their hair crazy colours. -Blue ribbon tramp stamp -Your teeth are social distancing like it’s 2020 -I guess fasting isn't a part of your culture. -"Wait, this is you at your best?" -Each tooth has its own personality -Those titties need more support than someone coming out of the Betty Ford Clinic. -Your tits are the only skinny part of your body. -"If you ever sneeze, you'd get pierced by your own face and die by bleeding. (That is not a roast that's a emergency call!)" -Look in the mirror a bit longer -Calls herself Sage Brush -"Good lord, just stop" -Kourtney Kardashian without the money. -Do you need those crazy clothes to make up for a bland personality? -"Nah hell no bot -Just no -Next" -Imagine this chick in 10yrs.. Fuckin yikes. -You look like an under-baked Frieda Kahlo. -"ER Doctor: “How on earth did you get this spinal fracture? Run over by a truck?” - -You: “Nah, just tried arching my back to show off my best asset in the mirror. Want to see the pic?” - -ER Doctor: “That’s not an asset, that’s a left parenthesis.”" -Every pic I look at I hear a different Santana song... -You are beautiful -You'll always be a virgin 😂 -Definitely a “rebel” that was a result of trauma from an uncle. -Moana: expired -What is that stupid metal shit in your face? -I peep a peep tattoo. -You look like the type of chick that cries if her nuggets are cold but also laughs about breaking hearts -i hate your piercing on the bridge of ur nose. it does not suit you at all. i’m sorry -"You look like a happy person and I hope that you are. - -Sorry, I’m not good at following rules." -Pretty ash 😮‍💨🔥 -No Thank you. -Looks like you fell face first into my fishing tackle box... -"“Is she pregnant, I can’t tell” type build" -I find you to beautiful to wanna make you cry sorry about that -Your face has more towing eyes than a 1.4 Honda Civic ricer -Brosario Dawson -Rikishi Faatu makes an appearance -If poking a few holes and and painting on a blown chance was person -You must be really bored to think piercings make you interesting. -I’m sure you think you have a nice personality -we all know you don’t need us to cry -I don’t need to make you cry. Your father (or lack of one) does that every day. -You already do. -"You are one of those girls where a bad guy thinks ""It's not worth with the roofie, to spike your drink""" -"OMG, I'm crying." -"You parents were hoping you’d go for a career as a Doctor, Physician, Lawyer, or Corporate Executive, but you chose to be a Trustifarian Activist, and they struggle everyday to hide their disappointment." -"She was selling burritos for two years, then got fired because one customer choked up with one of her piercing." -Your face already did. -"Fat ass, next" -"Fupa Dancer - -Probably jingles like a bodega front door, and smells like a back alley hobo orgy - -You look like you’re cosplaying a gypsy toilet seat" -"Didn't you once audition for Larry David? - -https://youtu.be/e9APpikkkcM?feature=shared" -look like you have to cut your tampon because the crabs kept bunjee jumping -"No mms Ponte a hacer ejercicio, chichi caída , lonjas y pues las nalgas también con celulitis, pero todo eso tiene remedio 😅" -You look like you fell face first into a tackle box. -You got some nice wolverine sideburns -You want to cry? Look in the mirror -A mirror causes more pain to you than our words ever could -Make you cry? Uh...a mirror? -No amount of silver is going to make anyone want you -The 7th picture is correct... Oink Oink! -You must be from the Hoeawatha tribe. -"That ""LOVE"" tattoo is the only love you will ever gonna have." -I am sure the last 5 partners youbhave been with have already made you cry enough. -It's always fun when you can look at someone and know exactly how their relationship is with their parents -You’re not a torta. You’re an orca. -You look like a girl who was popular purely because you were the first one sucking dick -How is her hair always wet even when it isn’t wet. Bleh. Vile. -If you lost weight you’d be very pretty -You were cute 45 pounds ago. -"false happiness. -you take smiling photos but in reality you die inside. -you probably cry under your pillow every night thinking about your empty future, and your look certainly doesn't help." -Your dad leaving for a pack of smokes didn’t make you cry enough? -I wish I could just put tapestries over all my problems… -Let me post on here on false pretenses trying to get roasted while at the same time I've never seen many red flags on a individual in one photo go manifest a healthy relationship.... If you can -That is such a nice mustache! Do you condition it? -Looks like a Gypsy stole someone’s phone again -Cam I make you moan and scream while I fill you with my cream -"Your torso screams 47M, it’s all we have in common, but I’ll take it." -I would rather die virgin. -Just need a battery and some cables and you will cry -"For someone who spends that much time in the bathroom, I thought you'd be thinner" -You look like what would happen if someone made the wall of shitty tattoo designs at a tattoo shop into a hot air balloon. -Why? Do you need a nap and can't fall asleep seeing how you normally cry yourself to sleep? -You mean like your parents did when they saw what you did to yourself? -Always remember for ever and ever you will never be called the pretty girl -"Just be yourself everything will fall out of place, again." -Look in the mirror and watch the tears avoid that mug by rolling down your back. -"You put so much effort into looking like you don’t care, but deep down, you’re terrified no one will notice." -The only time someone ever filled your holes is the piercings. -I can tell you have those weird triangle titties -"Personally, I think you're very attractive... to industrial-strength magnets." -Youd make a blind man jump -"Do you also have an extra chromosome like you have an extra ""Y"" in the word ""cry"" in your title?" -The confidence boost you feel from your piercings is unwarranted. -You didn't have to make me cry. -You look homeless -Your parents cry enough for all of us -Definition of half n half -looks like a hoe -Lose weight wrap a braska around it -I can smell your scent from 10000 miles away -Example A-G why you should wear a brah even if you don’t have tits. The sag is real. -So who else tried to scratch that gunk off their phone screen only to realize it is on her nose. -How many drugs do you do? -"I'd like to smash you, literally" -I can only imagine what you subjected your actual hole to given you pierced in so many places without holes!! -One sec; let me just get a very strong magnet… -you look like someone who'd catch feelings for a guy who used you as a rebound when initially you weren't interested in him at all -Those face piercings will help the cops with the metal detectors find your body. Pass. -"You look like you read palms for a living. And by ""read palms"" I mean look at them slaps coming at you every time you buy a new crystal because your gang leader pimp doesn't appreciate you trying to better yo self." -"Those hips not only don’t lie, they also create their own orbit." -Your face has more shrapnel than a Russian conscript. -Gravity hit your tits like Mike Tyson hit Pinklin Thomas. -I bet your pubes look like Gimlis beard -"""Just your typical stoner, join me on of!""" -You had a white friend you called amigo. Ditched hime and felt sorry ever since -Get really good at making cappuccino -You probably make yourself cry every day -I think your father has made you cry enough -Your exes deserved better. -Congratulations on your boxing gold medal. All of Algeria seems so proud -I could not bear to make you cry. -You would look cuter with more piercings. -But why?😍 -Lets be for real -Man I wanna see those titties -Nah bro what if someone places a strong fking manet in fronta her💀 -You don't need us to make you cry just from a quick glance. -"Where to start?, better call up a tattoo parlor soon to fix some shit up so looking at ""it"" wouldnt be so horrid" -What's your favorite face bag for sex? -I've never before seen an ice cream cone recoil. -0 followers on her free OF -If seeing the pictures before you posted them didn't make you cry I don't know what you want us to do about it. You're obviously a rock. -You're clothes cry out more than you do. -"Keep on with the ice cream and those love handles will turn into wings. Unless you are trying to identify as a pig, you got the nose ring and teets already so you are well on your way." -"‘’ monster-in-a-box’’ -*FF6 boss music begin playing *" -"""Any last words?"" - some autobot in transformers" -Shocker you don’t cry when you look in a mirror -comment -When you're so fat that it transcends ethnicity. -One ton soup -Lord of the onion rings. -And they say wearing black makes you look thinner. -Jackie Double Chan -Jobless the Hutt -redditmod -You look like my balls after I shave them. -When bro walks past my TV I miss 2 episodes of my favourite show -Your chin looks like a swollen pussy going through chemo -Food Manchew -I bet the last time you saw your penis without a mirror was when Obama was president. -"When you go camping, bears hide their food." -Your so fat you need hula hoops to hold up your socks. -In the last pic it looks like an old man started to shave his groin but then gave up and left some bald intermixed with long stragglers -Shave. Just shave. -Willing to bet you haven't seen your penis since you were 13. -"I can’t roast you in good conscience, it looks like you have a lot on your plate already. - -Literally." -Most disgusting facial hair of all time. I thought maybe those were veins so I checked. Almost threw up. -Your body is squashing your eyes shut -The Last Hamurai -Your chin looks like a sparsely haired ballsack -You’re built to survive car crashes -You're built like a dirty diaper -lord fatquaad -A lil piece of advice...gravy is not a beverage. -"Holy molly, this is an attack on titan model discord moderator. -If someone asked an AI to draw what a discord predator looks like, you would be the first image rendered." -Marty Mcgravy -Asian Peter Griffin -Sum chin wong -How many Nickelodeon shows did you produce -"if he lie on a bed, he would fall on both sides" -"I only roast the hot people that come here seeking validation. - -I know you probably have obesity-related depression, but that can be fixed. It’s probably hard as shit on a physical level just to even get out of bed. - -All I have to say is this: Don’t give up. It’s easy to get upset at what people think or say about you, or when you look in the mirror. 140 pounds and 15 years ago, I was you. But like me, you can do it. It only requires little changes gradually." -"How you gonna look like goth humpty dumpty. - -You look like the scale you been on is the Richter scale. - -Bruh you have your own gravitational pull..at the buffet. - -When they say it's all you can eat, it's not a challenge. - -AC/DC should sue for copy right infringement. - -With all these jokes I will let you decide which chin to take it on. - -You look like you special order your clothing." -I guess salads is out of the question with you ? -"He sells his own fart jars to himself on ebay, and gets hard smelling them" -Attila the Hun’gry -The final boss of Reddit mods -Stop eating other people's feelings. -Shave your chins. It looks like you rolled your face around a toilet seat at a gathering of the Juggalos event. -Pass -Bro got cardio points pulling up that grin -If I roasted you it would feed America. -"Not a roast, just want to say: shave this awful beard bro.. That looks absolutely disgusting.." -Anus Khan-the ruler who crushed his enemies with his ass then ate them. -If Reddit was a person -So how's your sex life? -You look like a truffle growing upside down. -"Please, shave for fucks sake. (Honestly)" -I just laughed ar your face -"The camera adds 10 pounds, how many cameras are on him?" -So this is the reddit mod that keeps banning me -Bro your chin is fucking disgusting -"If you shaved Kung Fu Pandas body but left some hair... -You'd have half this things body weight." -How come it’s always the ugly incels who want to be roasted. It’s like they hate themselves -Before I get to roast you please remove the cum stains from your body pillow -I would roast you but I can’t eat pig. -Your chin vagina needs a wax -Roast you? It's gonna be more like a luau and you're gonna have an apple jammed in your mouth. Come to think of it. It's the first time you've ever had something healthy in your gob -"I would, but I'll need to find a big enough oven." -Do you mind if I use photo 4 in a presentation for my Niece’s school? It’s titled ‘stranger danger’. -"R E Reddit, It’s in the chins" -Wan Sum Snak -No roasting. Some things are just too easy. You've had it hard enough I imagine. You know what you need to do for a start - lose weight! Join a gym. Start bodybuilding. Start eating healthier. No excuses. -"Looks like you had enough roast, bud" -"I would roast you, but I can't burn calories." -Even your beard doesnt want to stay with you -Styled his facial hair on his mums vagina…. -"I'm not going to roast you. - -I'm just going to say that I'm grateful I was doing something with my life at that age. - -I hope you can get your life on track and get away from whoever is enabling you to be this way. -Sincerely." -You look like Eric Cartman when he glued pubes to his face. -Chinese peter Griffin -Roasting you would feed the village you came from for a year -That's gonna need an industrial oven! -"How are you 15 years younger than me, but look both five years older than me and like a teenager begging me to buy them booze at the same time?" -Peter Griphong -If we roasted you we could probably develop a new biological WMD from the fumes -You'd fuckin' have to. -They should have dropped you over Hiroshima it would taken less materials -We’re gonna need some more charcoal here! -You wanna be roasted so you could try and eat yourself later -"Greenpeace keeps trying to drag you back into the water, don't they? Oh well, keep your chins up." -"I'd need a bigger oven to roast you, Piggie Smalls" -I'm sure your anime discord server members makes fun of you anyway -You chin looks like a hairy ball sack -Ultimate Virgin -Did Benny Hill do a tour in’Nam? -"…ozempic was made for you . also if your going to smile with two mouths , show some teeth 😀 (pic 4)" -Impressive chin collection -"You pose like a prisoner, but if somehow you end up in prison everyone else is gonna die by hunger" -This guy's tons of fun -Why? -Have you ever considered not eating? -You look like you fell out of the dildo tree and sucked every branch on the way down... -You look like an actor on a show that combines “Star Wars” and “My 600 Pound Life”. -Chunk -Jabba the Hu -"When someone calls the poison control center because they ingested something toxic, they show them your pictures to induce vomiting" -I would subscribe to your Only Chins -"I would, but I don’t want to start a grease fire" -https://i.pinimg.com/736x/92/05/e9/9205e95bd0abdcac19b53c78e488ff76.jpg -I bet you can’t see your mini eggroll anymore -Boy got a nutsac under his chin -"Open your eyes, man, Nandor is refusing to make you a vampire because he loves you and being a vampire is actually terrible" -Asian Peter Griffen -Kim Jong Ton -"If we roast you hard enough it's not going to be ""hell"" coming out of you, it'll be enough burned fat to sustain an eternal fire." -its literally over -I smell your dampness from my phone. -"I don't want to, you'd probably ban me" -It's really fucked up what you did to all those kids at Nickelodeon. -Kung Fu Action Movie Star Fattie Chan. -You are the perfect definition of a cornstar. -Future 80 year old virgin -That neckbeard is so sexy…. Said no one ever -The Goblin King from the Hobbit -You’re just missing the apple in your mouth for the roast to be ready. -The Goblin King from the Hobbit -Dude hasn't seen his dick in so long he probably doesn't know he's for one anymore. -Your penis is so small it’s a pinis -You look like the reason yu gi oh judges implemented the hygiene rule. -" You’ll be *actually* roasted pretty soon, so there’s no need if yk yk" -More chins than a Chinese phone book. -You are larger than average. Only those of average size are acceptable. Therefore I now mock you. Experience discomfort! -Asian Peter griffin -I smelled this post 4 scrolls before I got here. -"No need for us to roast you, my friend. Nature already did it." -How many masks did you have to wear on your double chin during Covid? -if Russell from Up grew up and just stayed unemployed in his moms basement -"Shut your discord mod, Come my kitten come to daddy, looking goofy ahh ( no offense i hope you can overcome stage 30 diabetes ☺️)" -How you find your penis ? -You look sad but kind -I would…but diabeetus beat me to it. -If One Piece was Ten Pieces. -Honestly I don’t wanna roast you. You look like you have a very kind heart. It’s probably enflamed but I’m sure you’re a nice guy. -bro looks like a busted can of biscuts -"You're built not like a pear, but a bag of pears" -I got nothing. You look like you love Mountain Dew and video games. I see no shame in that. -Are you the mod of this subreddit? -Native Peter Griffin. -"At 15min a pound, should take about 300 years" -"Damn bro. People post on this sub for a lot of different reasons. But clean up the hair on your neck. Get a haircut that compliments you better. Congrats on losing 80lbs, that takes a ton of work! Keep it up, would love to see some progress pictures by this summer. Take care of yourself and you'll feel better mentally and physically." -Holy crap your neck beard has a neck beard -Why do nonces always have half rimmed glassed and a scraggly bit of bumfluff on their neck and lip? -He got picked on so much in school he doesn't know how to go through life without it. -If I roast you. Promise me you won't ban me from every subreddits. -Ten bucks says you posted here because you thought “roast me” meant we’d give you an actual roast to eat. -Sum Ting Wong -Thanos had to snap three times for that ass 😭 -Literally average discord mod -"You poor thing man… I wish you the best in life, being a former fat kid I know how hard that life is" -Big back -I smell diabetes........... -We could yell your weight without the third or second pic also with the amount of blob you have the 1 and 4 look the same also is a miracle you haven't stained the walls yet -You look Skinnier than Tomorrow -"I think you still live with your mom, she gives you the big portions to compare her own body with yours and think I'm not that fat." -Kung Fu Pinto -"Kung fu panda, live action" -bro is enough to feed to 6XL family -it looks like you ate the verification post it -Fu Man Chuckwagon -Stop roasting marshmallows and Roast some calories -"It seems to me, that all you see…" -Why do look like hare o hare and caseohs son -"Your pics look like the before of getting plastic surgery, except these are just your normal pics." -Gender reassignment fail -You could make a gallon of tallo if we roast you hard enough -You have no beard but you manage to have an under- beard? Shit getting strange... -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -You look like the first child naturally-conceived by lesbians. -"You look like Haley Joel Osment, if Haley Joel Osment were a lesbian." -You can’t convince me this isn’t three different lesbian women. -Shouldn’t that read 10F instead of 18M? -This chick has hair under his arms. -You look like nobody wanted to molest you at Nickelodeon -"18??? -Bro looks like he still wears Huggies" -You look like you've spent half your life being 9 years old -You are what we call a “late bloomer” -Now we have to add another letter to the long list of LGBTQ....just for you. -Im confused -This lil MFer looks like Marcy Darcy. 😂 -Over here looking like a Make-A-Wish kid on their special day. -15 FtM feels more accurate. -No way we’re allowed to roast 12 year old lesbians on this site -By 18 you mean you just discovered your first 18 pubes -"If you’re 14, I’d be surprised. Not roasting. Youre just not fooling anybody here" -You look like you swap genders every week -I’m so confused. What are you? -You make me believe being both genders is possible -I doubt your 18 OR a man -Chick Van Dyke -Drives a Suburu Outback… -Your face says seven your teeth say seventy -There’s no fucking way you’re 18 or M -"You say ""18"" like anyone at all has been waiting." -Youngest McDonald’s manager ever -18M? More like 12F -You look like that bad brake dancer from Australia. -You look like you still kiss your parents on the lips. -You look like every day you throw a dart at board to choose your gender. -Looks more lesbian than actual lesbians -"At first glance, you look a lesbo who -plays ball at predominantly black high school." -You just look like a lesbian who doesn't shave their pits. -"You are transitioning to female, right?" -OP doesn't realize he needs to be able to fuck to be fuckboi. -Cant believe you haven’t gotten a septum piercing yet what kinda queer are you -"The first thing that came to mind when I saw you was that Disney movie Motocrossed, where the chick pretends to be her twin brother." -You look like you came out of a Kinder Surprise. -I support your right to box other women. -This is still a fetus. It should have to provide id. -“Male” -Whoever kidnaps you is in for a rude awakening when they find out you’re not a 10 year old girl. -You’re the Frat Boy version of Meagan Hall -You ain't no man -FTM* -18M mean 18 months? -You may identify as an m but no m would wear their hat like that in pic 1. -"1st photo looks like your unsure of yourself -3rd photo you look like a kid , I can not participate in this roast." -I’m not sure I believe either of your descriptions. -"Bro, how are you a kid woman and man all the same time???" -18F -Saw this guys pic and immediately thought I was in the r/hobbit sub. -You're the most female male I've ever seen -"Just how long have you been ""male""?" -Boyed and ready to laugh -"The face of an 8-year- old, armpits of a 30- year-old" -"Does that jersey say ""mini bottom” in pic 1. I'm so confused." -Just cuz you grow out your armpit hair doesn’t mean you can call yourself a male -"Yes, I laughed. Thanks" -You are one of those pronoun people -You look like an 11 year old lesbian -How’s that subaru of yours? -Just because you have armpit hair doesn’t mean you’re a male. -Very demure for a guy. -Did you get addicted to hormones and meth at the same time? -Didn’t know Debbie from Shameless was trans. Fun fact -That frog just met you and he's already tired of your shit. -"Just so you know, I’m an ally for FTM trans. I’m on your side. ✊ - -… and if you’re not trans, you should grow a beard ASAP." -"I don’t care what it says. Sword or sheath, fellas? Could go either way." -It has to be either in the vaccines or the bottled water cause this kinda shit that's everywhere now didn't even exist in the 1980's when I grew up.... -What was it like transitioning from a 17 year old boy to a 34 year old lesbian -Did you transition or were you just born this way -Naw Girl. -"Did you used to be a girl? - -Dear lord stay off the puberty blockers" -Nah something suspect here….im calling vag -"Wow my little sister needs to shave those armpits, sheesh." -Your pronouns are WTF/Geez -Circus freak -Don't worry you'll find love after you transition -When did you transition? -Age and gender are both lies -"Hey at least you get to keep the giant frog for yourself, huh? 🤷‍♂️" -You’ve been nonced. -Before I read the tittle I was in lesbians with you. -Ohhh you’re a boy… I get it now… that’s on me. -r/femboy -"in case you haven’t figured it out yet, your transition is halfway already." -Bro is a lesbian -No way in hell you're 18. It looks like you glued some shower drain hair to your pits and called it a day. -Now I understand why animals eat their offspring -You look gender fluid. -What is this thing?? -"I was gonna roast you, but I don’t feel like roasting a 12-year-old lesbian" -Dude wears a sports bra to his t-ball games. -"You can't 'pre-post' your Roast Me pic. Ain't nobody buying you any more than 16. You look like a pubescent girl who doesn't shave her pits. - -Edited: realized 'excessive hair growth' was a stretch." -You look like you’re about to drop the hardest Christian-rap album of all time. -even the TESTOSTERONE ran away from this LESBIAN looking dude -Looks like your balls haven't dropped yet. -Just transition already stop delaying it -Real boy or skittle haired thinks it’s a boy? -Your post title describes anyone who ever chooses to look at you naked -"Don't lie about your age kid, head back to Chuck E. Cheese." -If Benjamin Button was a lesbian -You have a mangina -You look like what lesbians aspire to be -You look like a human boy scout cookie. -I think someone replaced your flintstone vitamins with estrogen… -Are your parents lesbians AND cousins? -Who stole your lips or are they between your legs? -You're 100% born a female. -Shave those armpits girlfriend -I smell pronouns -Not shaving your pits isn’t going to make you a man. -Bro you sure you’re a dude ? -… They make toupees? … for arm pits? … and sell them to prepubescent girls??? -"At first I thought you were a girl than I saw your square shaped head then I was like, “is that Steve form Minecraft???" -She wears underwear with dick holes in em -Okay andy malinokis -WTF? -You look like a chipmonck -Gonna need to see that Adams Apple you hiding -"That's not a spongebob shirt, it really says mini bottom. His sexual preference" -Bryan hord on a basketball court at church camp. -I thought you were a girl -Do you own a Subaru by any chance? -You sure male? -Did not know the Zathura kid became lesbin -18M?!?!?! I thought OP female and is a lesbian. -You’re about as male as a light pole. -Are the first two pics your sis? Glow on -You are a woman -Just because you were assigned male at birth doesn’t mean they got it right. -Pit hair doesn’t make you a dude. Go back to Children’s theatre Li’l Orphan Annie. -You look like the introduction “Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and girls!” -"""M"".. lol, sure" -I was guessing 16F. -"I genuinely have no idea if you're a man, woman, or Crab person." -"Genuinely curious on the sex, gender, whatever the “identifier” is" -23 year old lesbian. Where’s your Subaru Outback? -"The frog in the second picture is actually the miniature one, it just looks big with him holding it." -Looks like Nickelodeon is creating people now -So androgynous that your parent’s regret not aborting you. Pick a gender so we can prep the right slur. -Listen lady… -"An 18 year old,”Male”" -“Male” -"No matter how hard you wish to be a boy, you’ll always be a disappoint to your family" -It’s Pat. -18m? More like 12yo lesbian... -These lizard people dont even try to blend in anymore. 😑 -The second picture looks like a girl but still not sure the 2 pictures -18 and already wearing dentures -The Intersex Frat Boy who's too confused about whether or not they should be in a sorority -"Not sure if you are a child, lesbian woman or middle aged man" -That last picture is giving off “18 going on 8” vibes -You look like you're trying too hard on the seeing eye posters. -Fucking hobbit on the loose! -You look like a 32 year old leabian that only has guy friends. -The mods probably needed proof of your age -Alvin the chipmunk crossed with a parade balloon. -Roast me?? I thought this was Bois! -I thought this was a girl 😕  -You look like that one girl that has transitioned to male but no matter how much you work out or how much T you take you'll always just look like the same girl but now in a basketball jersey -Hej! It’s real life Ash Ketchum… being 10 yo for 20 years! -" u look like an 8yr old girl who hit puberty too early, but only in the armpits." -You're on reddit -Does the “18M” mean 18 months? -M? -"Scott P, you know what I'm saying? No Ragrets." -"Just because there’s a „boy“ in tomboy, doesn’t make you male." -Does his shirt say power bottom...or am I just assuming -Face says 13 year-old boy. Armpit hair says 40 year old butch lesbian. -You are a human Subaru Forester. -I had to check if I already arrived at r/trans and i came here to tell you to shave your armpits if you want to look like an authentic ladyboy. -You look so young I think you had to Photoshop that hair on your armpits. -Couldn’t get a job as a mascot on the WNBL -Why does his jersey say power bottom -Someone should have slapped your parents. -M? -Hard to believe you're 18 or a man. -You look more like a 12F tbh -I’m not use to girls with armpit hair. -You look ready to be born -What transition really looks like -this set of photos could also serve as a before and after gender transition -If the Boxer Canelo and Musician Justin Bieber had a child -"I'm sorry, but you've broken Rule 3 of this subreddit. There is no way in hell you are 18." -12F or 18M -Why…. Just why… lmfao. ❤️ -How do you simultaneously look 18 AND 4? Did your mother and momma make you in a test tube? -Bro has more hair under his armpits than he ever had on his face -M? Really? -You look like one of the first boys put on puberty blockers -"Everyone, be kind. This ugly 16F posted as an 18M to bring on extra hate. Don't fall for it." -"I can hear you right now, ""C'mon guwys, take me sewiously! I'm studying for my Dwivers license and i can tie my own shwoos! I deserve a woast!""" -What the fuck -Seen more lips on a skeleton. -"You look like a ""Hey Mama, where's my hug"" kinda gal." -That’s a woman. -Still waiting on those T shots I see! -dollar store Justine Bieber -This sub-reddit is 18+ i thought. Who is this gerble? -You look like jojo siwas left nut -"Why’s this chick got hairy armpits, is she French?" -You are the first picture in project 2025 playbook -How tf your forearms bigger than your upper arms in the frog pic? -"Who hit ""pause"" on this little girl's puberty finishing?" -When did you decide you were male? -Do your mom's know what you are posting? -You uh sure it’s not 8? -Were your parents supportive of your transition? -Estrogen could be your friend -Where's the ? After 18M -You misspelled ‘31 year old lesbian’ -you look like a lesbian 10 year old in 2012 -18? Or 8? -"I'm too nice to roast, I might be boring for that but I'm proud of being this way, have a nice day :)" -I can't tell if you're trans or 13. -You look like you peaked at 12 -Next Subaru ceo -"u dress like it’s 2012, which is baffling bc u were 6 in 2012" -18FtoM. -"Girl, you don't pass" -"Oh look everybody, theres a new gender around town" -Male? Yeah right -Got the '10 year old' tomboy vibe. That's tough. You'll probably grow into the look as you get older -Are you a boy or girl? -Transgender? More like trans-vendor!!! LOL – you selling this shit like magic beans -18 or 8? -Why is this 12 year old girl saying she's an 18 year old boy? -"You look like a chick, playin a dude, disguised as another dude. - -If you spun the hat backwards you'd look like Fred Durst if he was mid-way through trans therapy." -"18? In 5 years, maybe." -comment -You are offensive to all five senses. -You look like you come home after a long day at work and snack on gravel. -"Let’s see if this works.. - -Needlejuice, Needlejuice, Needlejuice!" -I’ve seen nicer teeth on a chainsaw. -So it’s a work-from-home situation? -"Judging by your teeth and hair, I’d say your shopping cart probably has about 75k-100k miles on it. Congrats dude, that’s an achievement. You should celebrate with a shower and a fresh set of newspaper to lie down on tonight when you go to sleep." -When you say you are a “garbage man” does that mean you live in the garbage? -You’re supposed to show a picture of after you got over your addiction. -Christian Bale on meth -"Jesus, there’s a line where you just get your teeth pulled out get dentures. - -That line was three teeth ago." -"Metthew, please take care of your dental hygiene. I can smell your breath from here." -Sorry I don't have any cash -You look like you could tell the difference between double A and triple A batteries in a blind taste test -Meth is a hell of a drug. -That’s methed up -You look like you were drawn with my left hand. (I'm right handed) -"Your grill so fucked up , looks like a drive by shooting took place in that mouth ." -I can smell these pictures. -9 Before pictures but no After pics??? -This man has lived a life full of pain. -Willem Dafuq -You look like you chew on rocks because you like the taste -You think if we roast him hard enough he will gingifightus? -I appreciate the person who punched your face in 5th slide -Fleetwood Crack(head) -Is THIS what you did with the money I gave you? You were supposed to buy *drugs.* -"Dude, no. -Get help." -"""All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth""" -I feel like if I stand in front of a mirror and say trashman three times this is what will show up to eat my toenails -"""The system cannot find the teeth specified""" -You look like Macauley Culkins cousin who never made it -Christian Stale: American Metho. -A walking example of fluoride conspiracy theory -"UK’s Otis Toole (don’t know him, look it up)." -"From all 9 of your photos I think ""garbage man"" - but not as a result of your profession." -"Cricket….we know you are just going to use it for pcp - - - -Lemons" -You are supposed to throw yourself in the garbage compactor. Thats where trash goes -Your pictures have more shock value in reverse. -You look like you torture animals.... by smiling at them. -You look like your breath enters a room 30 mins before you body makes it 😂 -Must be an easy commute to work. Just hop out of the bin -I bet people move as soon as you sit next to them on public transport -"your photos are so unsettling, I feel like I need a hazmat suit just to scroll through them" -"Medicaid might be able to help with the teeth. The rest of you, not so much." -Holy shit man! Just because your a garbage man doesn't mean you have to eat it too!!! Now go home and brush your tooth. -Jack-o-lanterns carve your face into pumpkins.🎃 -This is why I support retroactive abortions. -"Hey its ok i know the truth, you didn’t smoke your teeth away with meth you sold them for crack" -Guaranteed that whatever is in your closet and/or basement would solve 3 open missing person cases -"Your face says meth man, but your teeth says British man" -Your 5 remaining teeth are like your job—missing in action and always surrounded by trash. -You look like Frodo if he didn’t destroy the ring -"Your teeth are like a jigsaw puzzle, but unfortunately, they don't seem to fit together." -Your meant to pick up the glass bottles not eat them 🤦 -You look like my brother's old math teacher... I think that's a compliment... I'm not very good at roasting. -I didn't know Willem Dafoe played a crackhead. -Your toothbrush gets frequent flyer miles. -I bet you got the cleanest house on the street. -You look like you ate a live grenade -You are every version of Florida man rolled into one!!!!! -You are the personification of ‘I’ve become my work’ -3/9 you look like CM punk on meth! -"Damn, you must do above average blowies behind the supermarket for all that meth" -This guy methed around and found out -"Man, I bet you’ve done A LOT for 20$" -If I had a pound for every tooth in your mouth I’d have 6 pounds. -"I’d make some teeth jokes, but they’re few and far between." -How can we get you some new teeth brother. You’re a handsome guy. -"I thought you were just supposed to get rid of the garbage, not eat it." -I could have swore I saw you on r/meth -At least your not gay. Male raccoons don't count -You look like a broke crack addicted Seth Rollins -So that’s what Oscar the grouch looks like all shaved. -I can smell the gum disease -I saw the thumbnail and got too scared to click. But I had to just to roast you. -Error 404 in person. -"Im not here to shit on you man, try to get it together brother and fix your teeth while you still can" -"You are literally the before picture of a ""meth is bad"" advert" -You look like one of those people that I would love to have a beer with and get some new content for my next slasher horror novel. -"Good job on getting rid of those pesky teeth, I’m sure it gives you an edge in the sucking dick for meth hustle." -You look wonderful. -You look like a retiree bum fight contestant. -At first I thought... Never open your mouth and you *might* be ok... Then about halfway through I realized you have never been ok lol -This is some weekend at Bernie’s shit. someone set up a corpse and took a bunch of pictures of it. -"I don't want to upset you, but hey, sometimes the tooth hurts." -Thanks for adding “bin man” for all the people confused by what a garbage man is. -Get off Reddit and go brush that tooth! -"You're the only r/roastme that's not shilling their only fans or fishing for compliments. - -You should be the poster boy for this sub. - -That's it. That's my roast." -Apples hate this guy -"I won't roast you, man. At this point, I can only pity what's left." -British Rasputin -You look like you can eat corn on the cob through a picket fence -"Wow, 9 pictures! You could have kept us in suspense by revealing a different tooth in each one." -Your mouth looks like a broken piano dude -"You'd be quite handsome if you changed every single thing about your looks, personality and fashion choices" -Tip for those reading: Avoid low-hanging fruit. Usually full of pests (and sometimes needles) -That's Christian Bale's uncle. -I bet your dentist is getting paid well. -If your teeth had a a phone number (8) -You mean you live in a garbage bin? I would have assumed even they had standards. -Bro looks like Skinny Pete -"you’re an anti-dentite, aren’t you!?" -Someone has had a rough life -So.....u EAT the garbage orrrrrr...... -Blows my mind that Chunk from Goonies got laid and impregnated someone. -"You're like, if Oscar the Grouch became human." -You look like you Methed around and found out. -Edward Furlong from Wish -"You're supposed to dispose the garbage, not consume it." -Whose kid did you touch to get beat that bad -Christine Bale has really gone down a rabbit hole this time. -You are a garbage man or you can from thw garbage I can't tell -"Uncle John? I thought you were dead. - -They told me you were found dead in a tent down by the river as you were living off the land in -40 weather. - -Crap, you’ve come to me in dreams and now here you are on Reddit." -Definitely going to get electrocuted stealing copper. -Jake Crackenhall -"Even without the first photo, I knew you didn't have all your teeth" -You look like you've slowly turned into your product -Bro....the sprocket on my bike has better dental hygiene than you -The Wish.com version of Christian Bale -Squirting water out of your mouth gotta look crazy. -This dude ain’t methin’ around -Think of all freebies you take home! -Pic 3 kinda looks like Danny Trejo -Crafted out of garbage -"""LESTER THE MOLESTER BRO, WE GOT OURSELVES A MILITARY HARDWARE""" -Catalytic converters fear him for this one simple trick! -"So now that you told us where you live, what is it you do for work?" -Was it the can or the bin that knocked your tooth out and broke the others? -You look like your teeth suffered through Pangea. -You aren’t a bad person you look like you help people make the right choices in life -I bet worms and cockroaches live in that mouth -"Underneath the bridge, tarp has sprung a leak - -And the animals I’ve trapped have all become my pets - -And I’m living off of grass, and the drippings from my ceiling - -It’s okay to eat fish ‘cause they don’t have any feelings" -jesus christ are you even alive. -I can smell the trash from here I take it you need more than air freshener for people to be around you. -Is garbage man how you describe yourself as well as what your job is? -Glad they brought back the faces of meth campaign... -Definition of summer teeth right there. Summer yellow summer brown summer missing -If garbage was a human being. -"Well, you are what you eat..." -It's really strange that you look a lot like humans. -Dr. homeless -CM Punk the under bridge version. -You’re supposed to pick the trash up not eat it -"I get that you're a garbage man, but what do you do for a living?" -"When Robocop wants a blowjob, you’re allowed to say no." -Those teeth can cut a 3 feet wide tree -"This should be a crime, roasting you. Its too easy. Theres nothing anyone here can say or do to compete with what life has done to you." -You have disappointed your parents -Jim Scarey -Not sure if that's a job or a species classification - I feel like going to brush my teeth now. -And this is why Healthcare insurance is important -I got to picture 6 and thought CM Punk became a heroin junky. -"Shit, man. I bet even a common house fly would feel molested just by the sight of you." -You look like if you try to whistle you would spit on everyone -Garbage man is your profession or a nickname? -Not to mention meth addict. -Where’d you find a phone at? -What can we roast that the universe has not already given you each tune you see your reflection? -"This advice might be a bit late, but you should take good care of your tooth." -Stop eating the garbage you're supposed to collect. -That’s a winning smile…. For a meth head -"You didn’t have to tell me you’re a garbage man, I could have guessed " -"Officer: “so needle or pipe?” -You: “why not both? 🤷‍♂️”" -This is CM Punk if he was very NOT straight edge -It's like a human racoon -"Dude has summer teeth. Summer green, summer brown and summer missing" -How much do you spend on meth per day? -You look like you've been feeding on the lies that Trump feeds your demographic -Ho Lee fuck… -You roasted yourself. -Your teeth are like the bins.. one every few yards! -I dont even want to roast you I think you look like a cool dude whos probably chill and funny and nice -In the 3rd pic you look like Murphy the DEA agent that took down Escobar -"Why did you post of picture of you crying?? Were you coming down or trying to get free drugs from your dealer. - -Pretty sure you’re crying in the 6th picture…" -When you think you’re a garbage man but you’re really just white trash -So some people are born to come to the office for entertainment and others are born to work from home remotely forever and you're one of them. -I just can't. This is too easy. -"Wish.com asmongold - -""We have asmongold at home""" -You've become the very thing you swore to collect. -Looks like shaggy upgraded from the ganj -The craziest part is your front tooth is smack dab in the middle. So even if you had all your teeth they'd still be off center and fucked up. They modeled Sloths mouth from the Goonies after you. -"Your Post history suggests you're concerned about paranormal activity. I wouldn't worry, that strange rattling noise you're hearing is just your last 3 teeth threatening to fall out." -"You look EXACTLY how I imagine a flat-earther looks. - -Oh wait.." -Sid Philips from Toy Story on Reddit? Blow up any kids toys lately? -"If I were to scan the gap in your mouth, which song would come up on Spotify?" -"You have kind eyes. - -Just giving you a little self esteem back so the comments you read after mine can rip it away again." -They call him Ditch Mitch -"Best example to ""you are what you eat""" -You look like skinny Pete’s father -Leave some meth for the rest of us -Meth is a terrible drug -I happen to think you’re cute. when you’re not showing those teeth I mean. -"Hey man, go get some dental implants before the bone around your mouth atrophies and it's too late. - -/constructive criticism." -"Nah bro, you meth man" -You look like the methhead my nephew drew (He’s 2) -"Roast him all you want but dude is wealthier than most billionaires. Dude found and knows the secret to being a happy man. - -I buried my partner and was forced to cease all contact with her daughter almost 2 years ago man. Nurture and cherish your family it’s the only thing that matters." -"Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's methamphetamine..." -"Idk why seeing these makes me so sad (I know it’s asked for) but I don’t have a roast, I think you look like a genuine nice man and I hope you have a great day." -"the love child of Prince Charles and Wayne Rooney, after getting beat down by football hooligans" -Real question is how does someone’s teeth get like this? -"Brother i can’t roast you - -as fucked as your life might be you probs make more money than i do takin trash - -no matter what ya’ve done ya did somethin right" -You look like my last 5 tinder dates -I’d say it’s the inside that counts but nobody’s that nice. -I’m actually impressed you know how to operate Reddit.. -"You literally look just like the homeless meth head that raides the dumpsters at the hotel I work at every morning. Like, it's uncanny" -"I came here to laugh bro, this shit just made me sad 😞" -"Nice try Hunter, not falling for these undercover govt tricks" -Too easy -I'm not going to bad mouth you....God already did. -Makes 150k a year but smokes 200k in crack to keep up with his “job” -You look like Christian Fail. -I can’t inflict any more damage than that you’ve done yourself. -"""Mr. President, they've hit the other tooth. His mouth is under attack.""" -Lookin like Mondays don’t matter! -Looks like Manson had a kid with Mama June -Rick James will probably say that cocaine is no hell of a drug compared to meth after he sees you. -Best thing I’ve read all day. -Bro couldn’t afford a piece of paper he had to rip open the Band-Aid box. Be careful don’t lose them. You need them to cover your track marks up. -The second-to-last picture shows your best facial features. -"I'll actually pass on you, life's roasted you enough." -You were great in MIB. -You look like a cult leader. -Teeth look like a picket fence at a haunted house... -Look at the bright side: after you die from an overdose you'll finally be sober! -Did you write roast me both ways bc you don’t know how mirrors work? -You’d think if you were down to your last 3 teeth you’d baby them a little bit. Not this fucker! -bro looks like eminem if he never made it outta 8mile -Bro looks like the average Mac Donald worker -You know how I can tell you're English? -Man my teeth look fucking great I gotta stop complaining -Mate put the damn needle down. You look like Gollum. -"Not a roast, but just a (not so) fun fact, people with non-brown eyes are far more likely to be addicts. Something like 70-80% of people in the US have brown eyes; something like 80-90% of addicts do not have brown eyes." -Garbage bin man??? I think you were supposed to say what you did for work not where you live. Tho judging by your teeth I wouldn't be surprised if instead of living in a trash can you ate them. -"If homelessness was a video game, you would be the last person to fight to get a tent" -Your teeth look like a cartoon character when they get hit by a hammer -You have a fence on your mounth man! -"If this is a cry for help, can you please keep it down." -Teeth that looks like a bag of smashed crabs. -You've lost so many teeth your tongue looks like it's in jail. -What drugs haven't you taken? -"Honestly, I know you look rough on the eyes etc, and I don't know, but I get the vibe you are a good honest dude" -The meth bigs are evident and is that jam from a jelly donut you found in the dumpster under your nose or did you pulp fiction it -"If Shane Macgowan hadn’t already looked like the dollar store Shane Macgowan, then you would look like the dollar store Shane Macgowan." -You look like why Christianity failed to take over the world -Is your dad the president of the United States? -I think I knew where the chew marks on my bin came from now.... -Whose phone did you use? -The positive thing is the rate your teeth are falling out you’ll be able to floss with rope -He’s just bi-curious if you have any more drugs. -how are you attractive yet extremely ugly at the same time? -Everything about you is a war crime -How many fingers do you have? -My guy I can’t roast you. Imagine the smell. -"On a serious note, I’d like to encourage you to get your teeth fixed. It will literally change your life for the better. People underestimate how their oral health affects their overall health and well being. Not to mention mental health and self esteem. I can’t imagine that they don’t hurt. You owe it to yourself. - -*worked in dentistry for 30 years so I’ve seen a lot." -"Oh man, did you really need to upload all those photos? One was enough Buddy" -I think God has already roasted you -You look like you’d vote for Biden and Camelltoe Harris -8-6-7-5-YOU-0-9 -Nothing to roast. I see your gentle soul.....through your teeth -Fuck... thanks for the self esteem boost. I ain't even gonna jab at ya. I don't wanna catch my knuckles on your snaggle tooth. -Harris supporter -I honestly wouldn’t mind if YOU were playing wonderwall on some randomer’s guitar at 5am at some mental gaff whilst I reassess my bad life choices….you look fun….love the rizla improvisation bud 👌 -You seem like a very energetic and fun person -"You look EXACTLY like a guy who randomly hears his kitchen drawers closing, voices talking through the walls, thinks aliens or ghosts are ""tripping up"" your daughter, and is an active member of flat earth subreddits." -Crack says no to you. -First class hobo✨ -"It’s off topic but you can get free dental care at any dental school. They’d be thrilled you let them work on you with a set of teeth like that. Just be super nice, bring the secretaries some cookies, and tell them you’d appreciate their help. You’ll get a $100k dental work up for free. People have no idea…" -"Shane McGowen without the songwriting chops, just his physical chops." -Why you gotta be so crazy Karl -I have a teeny tiny inkling that you might believe the earth is more 'plate' than 'sphere.' -"What would you say is the most exciting part of the day, the early morning line at the methadone clinic or the late morning lineup at the police station" -"Better to have remained mouth close and appear normal, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." -"“Yes Andrea, I think I’ve found the Cover Model for the 2025 edition of ‘The BIG book of British Smiles’ “" -"Guy introduced himself this way, people still ask what he does for a living" -James Franco I use to enjoy your work -"I'm sorry I can't make roast, your life has treated you badly enough." -Set up a gofundme and myself and sure other Reddit folk will help you get some teeth . Gotta be a way to keep ya from spending that $ on hard drugs though… -You look British. -That uneven mustache looks like a child's disguise. -You don’t need a ancestory test to know he’s British all the way back -Stop bro . Take the Roast down. I could’ve lived my whole life without seeing you -"Hey man, life is tough but I believe in you and I know you will find the peace and joy that has been missing. -Good luck homie and take it easy on yourself 👍🏾" -"""Mom can we have James Franco?"" - -""We have James Franco at home"" - -*JAMES FRANCO AT HOME*" -You can use your teeth to remember which months have 30 days and which have 31. -It's awesome when you don't smile but you know that. Yer probably a cool dude to hang out with though. -You look like Myles Kennedy but if the guitar player from Creed Bashed his teeth in with his Gibson! FYI Myles Kennedy is a good looking dude you got good things going for you! -Your mouth looks like a cemetery after an earthquake. -"Damn. A.I. even gave it a try by throwing an ad under the picture: ""Jesus loved the unnoticed, the undervalued, the unwelcomed."" - -Anyway, I see Meth Green fell on hard times after he blew through his money from The Italian Job." -It was chromas eve babe in the drunk tank and old man said to me won’t see another one -Wow! I bet that you are a real chick magnet. -What's left to roast? -Woah the gameshark kid grew up -Meth went to rehab after this -"This dude is a great sport. He's even participating. 😂😂 -I bet he's a cool ass dude in person. 💯" -"with yr mouth closed and ur hair messy you kinda look like if Trent Reznor decided the mistaken for coke heroin lines were actually the way to go 😔 - -I'd say be careful on 'The Downward Spiral' but ik the trash can you came out of doesn't have the room for a spiral staircase !! 😭 Nor do you have the balance... - -Ain't nobody getting 'CLOSER' to that !!!" -I don’t even got kids but I wouldn’t trust you around them -At least you have your collar buttoned like a gentleman -Skinny Petes doing well since Heisenberg died -comment -Keep this up and your parents will also leave you for your brother. -All of what you typed was obvious from the photo. -That poor girl. That's a gene pool you don't want to take a dip in. She's done it twice. -Looks like she forgot her wig when she dumped you. -Johnny NO Cash -Is this an AI generated image of Failure? -You look like you're one shave and a cry away from an OF account and sleeping with your brother to get back at your ex. -You look like someone pressed randomize in a character select screen. -Damn even Jesus has it rough -You’re the Flea Market Dave Mustaine -None of that excuses the hair. You look like a white trash Jesus. -Under a black light I bet that room look like a Jackson Pollock painting -The bedroom in your trailer looks like a crime scene. -Sorry your sister left you for your brother. 🤔 -I imagine living with the overwhelming disappointment that you are is doing more damage to your parents health than cigarettes never could. -"OP’s Bio: - -I can’t play guitar but I love wearing guitar shirts. Me and my girlfriend live in my brothers trailer, I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid from the weed but I’m pretty sure the cops were here yesterday because we couldn’t afford to renew the registration on our trailer for the last few years. Since I lost my drivers license I couldn’t afford to pay my brother rent for the past 6 months. He told us to get out, then amazingly my girlfriend said she was able to work things out with him and we are all caught up in the rent. My World of Warcraft subscription expired Tuesday of last week, so I’ve been just sitting here listening to my old Lenard Skinnard CD that I put in my old Jeep radio. Sometimes when I’m high I hear my girlfriend and brother screaming at each other, they get really loud and passionate discussing the rent. They even bang on the walls and stuff. I wish they could get along better. She’s such a good girlfriend. I heard her say the other day that’s she’s afraid of me finding out…..she loves me so much she doesn’t want me to know she’s been paying the rent for us. Once my dad dies we will have a trailer of our own and can collect rent from one of our friends and be able to live large and eat at Applebees once a week, maybe even twice if we keep the bill down. It’s great being white, free, and American. -P.S.: - -Can any of y’all spot me like $20 for a vape refill I’m out and getting jittery, my brother said not to ask him again, - -Thanks in advance" -"Oh wow, what a brooding, tortured soul. Nobody gets him. Life is pain, and he welcomes it. - -And then there’s those gay ass Christmas lights." -White privilege didn’t even want him -can't imagine the smell in this trailer -How did the piss get all the way through to the 2nd mattress? -"You look like you've asked a DJ at a club more than once to play some ""Fuckin' Foghat""" -Get a off the weed and apply for a job -You got barbie doll hair and beard. Did you any chance pluck it out of dolls and stitched to your head? I just made it to a question for being bit polite. -Hillbilly hippy with bed bugs -"Unemployed, sex less, one giant fucking loser, and looks like Jesus what a combination." -You just listed loads of things wrong with you and instead of going out and bettering yourself you've come on here to be roasted by strangers. There's no point trying to make fun of you - your entire life is a joke. -She was never your girl. She just used your dumbass as a steppingstone to get to your brother. -"Bro, stop doing weed (it's sapping you of all ambition), get a job, get a girlfriend... - -You can do better if you want to. - -I mean, you probably don't, because of all the weed... but still." -"You look like shit, keep up the shit work." -Discount Rob Zombie. -"You look like God from Monty Python, except significantly less accomplished" -nah i think ur bed has been through worse -"Well, thank you for taking a break from huffing that familiar scent from your brothers underwear to post here." -“Heavy marijuana user”… thank you very much mr obvious. -You look like one of those women with beards from the circus -Poor dude roasted himself the best. -The sixth member of Nickelback. -What's with the witness protection program look -Head up your full of 1970s folk rock band promise. Learn the bass and go on a drug fueled sabbatical to San Francisco and keep writing lyrics. Peace man. -And like Jesus he hung out with whores -"What’s the weather like down in Alabama? Annnd, there’s a “crunchy battle sock” in those sheets, isn’t there?" -You've definitely 5 star every song on guitar hero -"Why does every ginger have a better brother? and lives in their moms basement? This isn’t a roast I genuinely want to know? Christ you even have the same beard and hair style. Bedroom, the posters and the single bed….maybe it’s a genetic thing. The coincidences are too much. Hope your name isn’t Colin too." -Jesus reincarnated. You like to dress up like him in robes when no one's looking. You drag a cross everyday just to get the letters from your mailbox. -Kurt Cobwait -"I can tell you live in the Midwest, that covers everything." -Jethro Tull has been trying to serve you some official documents. Please call their lawyer. -I like the Eminem poster. -"You roasted yourself, nothing I say beats your everyday reality" -I can smell that photo. Smells like disappointment and stale jizz. -"""...raised on the third day in accordance with his bladder, the step-sibling tags of PornHub and the promise of a bong rip. Amen.""" -Devil’s rejected reject -"#WhiteTrashJohnnyCash has a good ring to it, actually." -"Hey. With Jesus all things are possible for you. He loves ya and wants you to have a great life. Call out to Him to help you...ask Him to prove Himself to you. ""All who call on the name of the Lord shall be saved."" You're young. You have a whole life ahead of you that can be worthwhile and positive." -"Damn, just move to the cities, eat some acid and then go roofy your brother to get even. And stop combing your hair. Pat dry that shit then just air dry it so you have some curls, use less shampoo and a cherry tomatoes worth of conditioner. Advice-Roast" -"fuck you Eric,leaving you was the best decision I ever made!" -Average movie uncle right there -Yo nervana called and they want their lead singer back -I know this is a roast page but I’m jealous of how impeccable your hair is -Be honest...how many times have you listened to Photograph by Nickelback? -Being honest your Viking pretty. Find yourself a non ho hippy chick with dirty feet and be happy. -U kinda look like Jesus turned water into meth -This is what Jesus would look like if he came back in the 90's during the grunge era -I can't roast what's already been burnt. -I’m guessing you’ve spent some time on the incel forums? -"A roast is supposed to be good natured fun. This would be punching down in a way I don’t like. Get a job, get an education, stop with the pot, take responsibility for yourself, grab the bull by the horns. Life is gonna go fast and if you’re even vaguely intelligent you’ll be filled with regret if you keep this up. First thing: stop smoking weed. It zapping your motivation and making you comfortable with being shit and you don’t even notice it." -I think you roasted yourself well enough for now pal -Lookin’ like a white trash jesus on meth -I hope this serves as a good before photo. -You roasted yourself. Nothing left for us to say. -Even Eminem looks disappointed in you -Your brother is your parents' and girlfriend's favorite -You look like you run a yoga cult in India or Thailand for deluded new agers -You look like a gay diversity hire for the new season of Vikings. -"The band’s gonna make it, meeeaaaaannn" -Every white girls jealous of your hair -Who knew the return of the messiah would start like this -"Hate to break this to you, but your brother gets everything in your parents' will, and you get nothing because you are such a disappointment to them." -You're good. -If you don't get it together you're gonna have more of the same... more nothing. What a fucking loser. -"Man, I bet you fuckin loved listening to some uncle kracker" -Bro you slow cooked yourself a long time ago -Texas Wept. -You look like if Rhett from Gmm and Jared Leto had a baby -"Upgrade to shrooms, you already look the part" -At this point I'd say it's Cobain time bro! You got this! -Jesus from wish! -I wish you took care of anything the same way you take care of your hair -"You're like a depressed modern day blonde Jesus, with unwashed jeans." -"The whole picture just screams - -26m, unemployed, still live with my parents, only ever been with one girl and she left me for my brother, heavy Marijuana user - -There was no need for that description at all. - -Just to let you know. You have peaked, this is it. It is all downhill from here. - -Then on day you find, ten years have got behind you . . ." -Bro is the face of Reddit -Extra chromosome Jesus -I didn't know the lead singer from nickelback had it that rough -And I thought my life sucked... -"26 going on 1973. - -Cut your hair, get a job, - - quit the,""pot""" -"The 90's are calling, they want their mattress back" -Z.Z. Bottom -You look like you use mane and tail horse shampoo. -Unemployed and looking inbred with several deformities. God damn you really got the short straw in life. -"Can't roast you, you got a johnny cash tee shirt on so I know you alright. -But I will laugh at you wearing your sisters socks." -It looks like you snuggle with that Eminem poster. -Damn bud what are you still doing here? 😂 -Wearing socks from a trampoline park out and about is the worst thing here. -You’re going to have one hell of a comeback story someday -Finally found my neighbours lost golden retriever....thank u so much reddit🤓🤓 -You look like you wear a bra and panties under your clothes. Did she leave you cause she caught you wearing her clothes? -"All of the above was enough, get out of your fucki.n.g bed and do something about your life. I am sincerely saying this, you need to find a job, and brake the contact with your brother cause wtf. Marijuana is fine but not when you do it like a hippie but actually being just an idiot with no money or future. Get out of your bed and make a life for yourself. You might think that it's fine to do nothing and live at your parents expense but no girl will want you that way. Maybe you don't want one that's not on me to judge but you seriously need to get a grip on your life. Do something. Also it was not a roast, just trying to get you out of sad life" -"That room looks like it smells of cat piss, mould and BO. Also why tf are your jeans so dirty. Have you been trying to fuck a mudhole? - -(Not roasting here I like your hair)" -Your hair is awesome -"Calm down Nickelback it's not 2001 take that fucking chain off and probably best you remove the posters that were ""cool"" when you were 8 and please stop playing Papa Roach on repeat full volume when you drive through town. Ever heard of a washing machine or a shower? I can smell this picture and I'm not surprised you got the boot." -In training to be a burden of the state. -“MOM!!! Can you Johnny cash app me like 20 bucks for weed?” -Get a life due! Get rid of the weed and you might stop looking like one! -Nickelbottom -Even Emnem looks depressed to be seen with you -I like your hair ngl -"Ok ya grungy fuck you aren’t even trying in life! For starters, put on some clean pants and make your bed. How does it feel to be wiener cousins with your brother? On the plus side, you do have great hair. I bet you get hit on by dudes that see you from behind." -I think Rhett from Good Mythical Morning had some fun a while ago and told no one. -"What are you still doing home Sven? Grab your axe and helmet, we're setting sail for England soon!" -What do you mean unemployed? Don't you host Good Mythical Morning? -That's a boy named Sue if ever I saw one. -Scruffy little drug addict -Your hair looks like lavender but smells like strawberries. -Even Eminem is looking at you in disappointment -We have good mythical morning at home -You look like Rhett from good mythical morning if he was homeless -Is your mom Cher? -Rock and roll Jesus! -Nirva...nah -Get some matching bedding budget Waylon Jennings -I will not surprised if you end like curt Cobain -"Gorgeous hair, bro" -Good Methical Morning! -"After seeing this, I decided I needed to quit weed" -At least you have rock n roll bro -Goldie locks getting ready to take 3 bears. -I seen you hanging around my grandmas church -Brush Jesus from Wish.com -"Between the wig and wallet chain, 1999 is regretting everything right now." -Anxiety sucks I feel ya bro -I could have guessed all those facts about you. -You have locks of gold -Tell us something we dont know -Hasn’t life roasted you enough? -Brother that hair is absolutely amazing! I ain't roasting you. -It’s time bro. It’s time. I don’t even have to say it. You already know. It’s time. -"Didn't you form a band with Gary Rossington, Al Collins and Ronnie VanZandt??? It was called Lynyrd Skynyrd right?? I got tickets for your next flight." -Life has already roare roasted you. I don't want to pile on -Bro is a viking😂😂 -Your hair is honestly amazing. -Red dead rejected -I hope you find the courage to do better in life 🙂 -We do not need to roast you...you are already baked -This lady has a nicer beard than me -At least she left you her hair 👍🏽 -Kurt kobaint -Political ad for anti-weed law. -"If you look, you’ll see the homeless version of Thor" -Man! Your entire situation is completely methed up! -"I like your shirt. - -Get a haircut. Get a job. You're a disappointment to your parents. You're a burden to your mother. She's the one who bears the brunt of your laziness." -"Thor's other brother Thaddeus Odinsson. - -Has none of the powers, terrible with a hammer, and gets drunk off non alcoholic beer due to a gene defect. - -Also, hair looks mysteriously like a wig. So it's either a shitty wig, or shittier hair. - -Boom roasted." -"Your job interview: ""So tell me Mr Joshzilla, why did you feel you could apply for this job and come in here looking like Jesus Christ?"" - -You: ""Hey, I'm Jesus! When do I start?""" -Dave Cumstaine -You didn't have to tell us you are unemployed..... or any of the rest. We can tell. I can smell you from here. -"Edge Jesus, you got this... You did it for our sins" -I can smell your room through the picture -JESUS CAME BACK -Are you a real life Joe Dirt? -"""And this bed is just right.""" -You can’t say she left you if she is still chained up just out of view. You scary motherfucker. What the fuck is up with that wig? Jesus Christ. -"Somehow (I know how), I could tell all the information you shared just by looking at your picture." -Sorry to hear your sister left you man -WWJD? -"Nothing to say , gods given you a total beatdown already . I’ll pray for you Brother ❤️" -Why are you wearing a wig -"You can read and listen all these other comments… Or you can listen to somebody that has clarity,  and will tell you the truth. I’m in a good place. I’m older,  I don’t have everything. I don’t have a lot of money but I do have family. And that’s where it’s at so you need to work on your relationship with your family. I see a lot of pain in your eyes, I think this is a cry for help. So you need to ask yourself one question ? Am I happy with where I’m at? If you are then, no worries. Ignore everything I’m telling you. If you’re not happy, then you need to make changes to your life and that includes being responsible. Getting a job, paying your bills deciding if you  should move out. Looking for a girlfriend? Well maybe you should look other  places than  where you already do. Partying is not gonna find you a decent girlfriend. Roasting you does no good because you’re 26 years old. This is not where you’re ultimately going to be in your life. This is just where you happen to be at the moment. You need to decide what you think you should do with your life.. only you can determine that,  no one else whether they roast you, or give you advice can actually tell you what it is you need to do. as my father told me 1000 years ago…. it’s your bed, you made it… Now lie in it. Or change things." -Someone died hating you -"Look at this photograph -Every time I do, it makes me laugh -How did our eyes get so red? -And what the hell is on Joey's head? -And this is where I grew up -I think the present owner fixed it up -I never knew we'd ever went without -The second floor is hard for sneaking out -And this is where I went to school -Most of the time had better things to do -Criminal record says I broke in twice -I must have done it half a dozen times -I wonder if it's too late -Should I go back and try to graduate? -Life's better now than it was back then -If I was them, I wouldn't let me in" -It sounds like you've roasted yourself enough for all of us -I think I'd rather just smoke with you on zoom -Is it really leaving you if all she did was go down the hall? -You could have just said you were 26 with a Mt Dew addiction. It would have been quicker. -"You can do better, with some help. You’re worth it. I judge your ex and your brother, that’s horrible trauma they caused you. I’m sorry." -bro get a job... and a new brother -My man looks like low budget Rob Zombie and Jesus at the same time. -"So, a late bloomer are we? - -Plus you look like the dude from Rhett and Link." -Bro looks like he gonna raid English coastline. -You look like the alternate version of rhett from GMM who never made it big -Discount Rob Zombie. -Stop being a redneck and your problems will disappear -God that fucking hair and color. Cut it or color it….look like a goddamn barbie doll hair from the 80s. Uffa and I bet the hair and beard reeks of nasty homegrown bong water and rotten eggs. Now go out in the world and beg in front of target. -Go Skynyrd ! -How well is the insulation in those shipping containers? -Jesus after the Johnny Cash concert -Johnny Hash -You look like you’re in a Kansas cover band -Slob Zombies -Can I roast your brother instead. Now there are lines you just don’t cross. He’s a real dirtbag. -that wig doesnt fit you too well sir -Bro got kicked out from music band got no band to Tie his Hair -Kurt Cobain if he never made it -Why are you wearing a wig? -Johnny no cash. -Temu Jesus over here looking for sinners. -GF dodged a bullet -Dave Mustaine and James Hatfield’s secret love child! -bros majestic -Go kick your brother in the head -Stay Away From Children!!! -"Jesus Christ man… - -Is that you?" -"Okay you want me tocroast you well hear it is. If you don't get your of brand Logan Paul tail up out of hear. Oh you thought I was was done, it look like you do drug's,weed,cocaine,and it look like if somebody hit you you'll snap like a twig. Bad hand righting I'm still in school 🎒📚and I still got better hand righting. Looking like NOT Logan Paul. Tried to be Logan Paul but you turned into Logan if he did crack. I hope you like my roast 🔥🔥, BY" -Your brother and your ex sit around and talk shit about you while they bang. They actually turned making fun of you into a drinking game where every time they mention something “loser” about you they take a shot. Only thing is they usually get hammered with in the first 5 mins. Your parents don’t blame your ex or your brother for their actions. You’re a “piece of poopoo” and deserved it. -Are you sure your choice in sox hasn't got anything to do with your girl leaving you? -What I'd like to see workin in a wig shop -So you're basically the epitome of wasting space. Jesus. -Did she quack like a duck when ya fucked? -You look like the girl from allstar -Johnny no cash version the best rock bank no rolls ever there -Fresh back from wig shopping with Joe Dirt. -"Bro I knew all that as soon as I saw this picture. You look like Beyoncé and her new country hit pisses you off so badly you go commit a hate crime on any ethnicity while jamming ""Skynard""." -Mushrooms on the ceiling disgusting -Floor; the god of basement dwellers -"Goldilocks, goldichops." -Margot Robbie hair -Ew -"Cool wig. Keep it on, and you can easily find work out there." -The worst part of your outfit are those socks yuck -Dave Mustystain -METHIAH -You started jacking off your brother. Gross. -Need that chain to make sure your balls are still there? -I think your parents might become fucking Roman soon. -I bet you don’t wash your hands after taking a shit -You look like the painting of Jesus that hangs on the wall of all white supremacist club houses. -Nah I think you've about covered it -"You can’t even stick to a genre of music let alone a routine, you look like the love child of Courtney love and Chad Kroeger, you literally take the skyn out of Skynard, you are every lyric in the song Stan. I bet those fuckin fairy lights beat to gentle strum in your fuckin foreskin as you choke wank yourself like Michael Hutchence chasing the high from last nights show all over again. - - -EDIT: Sorry that was way too harsh. Michael Hutchence was a fucking legend." -You look like a bad nightmare... -Trailer park Jesus -The Second NOT “coming” -The messiah in Methlehem. -The front cover of the 2024 trans edition of Goldilocks and the 3 bears. -Is your name Linnered Focking Skinnered ? -You might have only been with one girl but I think that grungy mattress has seen a hundred -I don’t understand why you would wear a wig to look *more* like Chad Kroger of Nickelback. -"I actually think the title sounds like the best made up roast achievable, you win" -If you’re gonna rock a spirit Halloween wig why pick ginger? -"You probably smell like feet,cigarettes,and unwashed grundle" -this seems too easy -No money..no license...WTF do you need a chain wallet for? -"Having long hair and fucking your hand doesnt count as having ""been with 1 girl""" -"just get a costume and pretend youre jesus on the street, also helps if youre in a bigger city. might help you meet some new people and make a couple of bucks." -"Jesus but blond. -Otherwise, I advise you to find a hobby like game dev or drawing pixel art that you can probably turn into a career if you're dedicated. It will also keep you busy from consuming drugs. -If you wanna start game development, there are 3 easy choices: GDevelop, GB Studio (make gameboy games without coding), or Godot (requires coding, but it's easy enough). -And for pixel art, there is a book ""Pixel Logic - A Guide to Pixel Art"". -Have a great day :)" -"Dude, stop dying your hair and smoking weed. In that order." -"You roasted yourself, we are all just in agreeance." -Do you sell Hackidu cards? -"Why don’t you go multiply some fish and bread, or turn some water into wine or something before Mary and Joseph kick you out?" -"Jesuuuuuus, don’t want me for a sunbeam" -"U have nice hair , your girlfriend thought she was in a lesbian relationship with you ...that's why she went off with any guy she saw nearby" -You knew she had low standards but you've now fallen below what even she could tolerate. -"What are you, one of the Hansens brothers?" -When you say your girlfriend left you...you mean you switched hands! -Are chain wallets coming back? Mom! Get the boxes -The pothead messiah -Johnny Cash wore black for the working man as stated in the song. Take that off and quit disrespecting him with your lazy ass -Was that girl called Mary Magdalene? -Sorry to hear about your sister leaving you for your brother - smell in that room is coming through my phone 🤢 -If the Victim card was a picture. -Layne Stale -Dude your brother? Wtf -You look how my crusty cum sock smells -Let's give the Muslims another reason to hate Jesus why don't we!? Let's make him ginger.... -You look like an ear wax covered toothpick -Bro looks like chad kruger gave the nickle back -"JFC, I'm sure you'll rise back up in 3 days. All good." -"Jesus bro, you left nothing for us, are you alright?" -"Congrats, this is literally the moment you peaked in life. It’s all downhill from here" -You give white privilege a bad name -"your title is so pathetic i can't even roast you, sorry man" -Meet Johnny Hash. The man in beige. -You know why you've only been with one woman right? -Wanna join my band? Perfect CV. -You failed to say your parents trailer house is getting repossessed -Also got a boxspring -"Ginger Jesus has all of the hallmarks of the reason abortion should be legal, nay - encouraged." -How did you fit a bed that size in a trailer? -Fuckin loser -I bet you cum Monster -"u look like theres vomit on your sweater,already, moma sphaghetti." -"Limp dick shit. -Johny no cash -Linkin Barf -NickelScat -Hep Leopard" -"You're a heavy marijuana user? No way, really? you hide it so well! Anyway, Mr Christ, go back to the cave you were resurrected in, the decor would be nicer than that shit hole you live in" -I just feel bad for you bro -Are you the brother or sister -refused to move on from high school ✅️ -When you look up reddit user in the dictionary. -"You just roasted yourself,probably the biggest achievement in life you'll have. - -👏" -What bet did u loose? -Turn water into wine and make a side hustle with that… you will get out of Joseph and Mary’s crib soon dawg -"Just looking at your photo makes me feel dirty, I gotta take a shower now" -I’ll hold back. You look like this roast might just push you over the edge. -This picture smells like an old ash tray -You look like gay Jesus in 2024 coming out with pronouns he / gay -comment -Banned from all local fast food places with ball pits  -I just turned 32 and you look about the same age as my dad -Those eyes tell me you've switched from booze to meth 😟 -It’s never too late to relapse. -Congratulations on your journey to becoming alcohol and hair free. -Congrats on being sober!! Hopefully any women you hit on arent..... -Hell yeah dude. Maybe one day you will get to touch a woman! 🤙 -Bro is fighting over a beanie baby collection in a divorce. -"I'd drink too if I looked like the ""inconceivable"" guy from Princess Bride with a bad case of beetus" -You look like a 55 year old cable guy -At least the back of your head is safe from sunburn. Should just shave the rest off and fully embrace having a penis head and skin cancer -"I’m not roasting you. Well done on 9 months. Just gone 500 days here. One day at a time 🩵 - -And happy cake day" -"If I looked like you, I'd probably be a drunk, too." -36?! Are you sure you didn’t forget two decades whilst you were pissed? -George Costanza's 'special' little brother -"Time to get back on the liquor bud, there’s nothing about you worth being sober for." -So now I know what Wallace Shawn would look like if he grew a goatee…inconceivable! -Mans stare could pierce the ozone layer -I'm older than you and you somehow look both younger and older than me at the same time. -"In one week, you’ll be 37, try not to suck any dick on the way out to the parking lot." -"Sober for 9 months, -Loser for 443 ¾ months" -"Sobriety is great, too bad no one who would ever touch you will be." -Does AA also help you recover your hair? -Bradley Cooper if he was an alcoholic who let himself go (and also had five women trapped in his basement) -Reddit is not the right hobby to pick up to fill the alcohol void man 😂 -You don’t look a day over 45 -Ironically you're the guy girls use to measure how drunk they are -No I will not roast you happy birthday bro -na man congrats but your hairline is up your ass -"I suspect it was alcohol that quit you, but give it hell, brother. Well done." -Congrats you bald bastard -"Congratulations on your sobriety. Well done. - -Commiserations on your appearance. Just stay indoors." -Define sober. -"If you're 36, I'm 16!" -Quitter. -you look like someone who change gender to get in save places for woman lol -" -I feel like you’re an AA sponsor who has so much hope in your sponsees that you can’t even see that they’re drunk when you go for a coffee with them on a Sunday at 9 AM and they reek of booze. You’re likely to be the guy who knows everyone in AA and everyone knows you and love you back, and you’r such a good guy NOW that everyone almost forgot you punched your boss in the face at the Christmas party and puked on his 900$ suit." -You're not even the Wish Jason Alexander...more like the rejected TEMU version that they keep in a back closet -So glad I don’t have to listen to your dumbass drunk stories anymore. #brutal #wereallpullingforyoutrustme -"If I had to see that face in the mirror every day I'd become a fucking drunk, too." -Were you disappointed when you joined the Boy Scouts that there were no awards for pornography or grooming? -You have the healthy glow of a Salaried Korean with Asian Flush. -Why stop drinking if you’re just gonna substitute it with crack? -All I see is a big lens reflection glare near the center of a cabinet. -"Well, don’t look in the mirror You’ll start drinking again." -A fish has more going in his life -Did you used to balance all the six packs on your head for ease of access -If I looked like you there’s no way in hell I could stay sober. Congrats. -You look like the alcoholic uncle that everyone avoids at the family reunion -"For your birthday, I hope you get that new liver you’ve been needing. 🙏🏻" -"I’d love to know your rock bottom moment from 9 months ago. Involved either a restraining order, or you running away from a camera saying “she said she was 18”" -Treat yourself to a drink on your… hmm 🤔 -"Half a head of hair, half a beard…betting after all the alcohol, it’s also half a brain…" -So you stopped bringing one six pack of India pale ale to the BBQ? -"sorry, was it the alcohol or your hair you gave up??" -He doesn't drink anymore......but he doesn't drink any less either -Your head is shining like a star dude -"If I looked like you, I would still be drinking. (Congrats on being sober!)" -Congratulations on the 9 months. Sorry about your ...well ....everything. -"Congratulations on the sobriety, hopefully it will eventually uncross your eyes" -You look like Bradley Cooper after nuclear fallout. -"First of all congrats on being sober. - - -2nd just give the hair up my guy." -"Aww you are 36, congratulations. Is your hairline turning 66?" -Is Your hair is trying to follow everyone’s lead and leave? Sometimes you got to let it go. -I hope you don't fall of the wagon like you fell from the stroller when you were a baby. -"It’s always heartwarming to see a picture of a former alcoholic go through a huge glow up during their journey through recovery. - -This is not one of those photos." -You look like Danny Devito beat one off on Phil Collins drums… -Didn’t I see you in Dragon Age? -the bottle hated you more -Congrats on your clean time friend it a great accomplishment. Keep up the good work -All the hair of Jason Alexander and none of the money. -Crosseyed and Painful to look at -Jesus. I see why you drank. -9 months total? -“I am 36 going on 66…I need a bottle telling me what to do” -Congratulations and happy birthday! -Id roast you but it looks like you took care of that yourself :D -Aw man I got nothing. Have a great birthday and congrats on your sobriety. -Atta boy!!! Keep going. it's worth it! -I understand why you drank. But I’m not sure why you stopped. -No roast - congratulations on your sobriety. Keep up the good work. -"You say 9 months sober, but your eyes say something different" -"Drunk or sober, you still look like a guy who would lick a urinal cake on a $20 bet." -Baby you are perfection there is nothing to roast about and everything to boast about 🥵😍 -36 year old Mr Burns -You probably look better drunk. -36?? Alcohol is a helluva drug!! -If I had that face I’d go back to drinking. -Congrats my dude!!! I’m barely on day 17 but I hadn’t gone this long without alcohol in probably 10 years or more so it’s alllllll good so far. Wish u the best as well -"What ran from you faster, your hairline or hot chicks at the bars?" -"Someone else had their ""9 months"" starting a family while you're only getting sober within that time frame" -Happy birthday well done 👍🏻 -You know it doesn't count if you're still sniffing glue right? -Stone Cold (Creamery) Steve Austin -"For every hair you lost, if there was a tree planted in israel, we’d have the Amazon jungle in the middle of a desert" -Looks like the kind of guy to be diabetes ad -Sober and bald hey? What do you miss more? The beers or your hair? -It is true alcoholics lose their hair I’ll be dammed -Your hair line is waiting for your goatee to play tetris -Louis Not.Okay -How long you been bald? 36 years? -We would have known you were an alcoholic even if you didn't tell us -"Fellow alcoholic. Hope you have a good birthday! - -Wtf is with that hair… or rather lack of? Bruh either commit to baldness or shave that shit" -36 going on 56 -1 week until his birthday. I bet he cant wait to see what his pre-ordered homemade birthday cake looks like. -I love the skullet! -Congrats.. One day at a time bro -36? -Armin Shimmerman of Star trek Deep space 9 as a human Quark who sells cars and has a cousin who is a high-ranking military officer at Roswell on 1940's earth. -Your hairline is at the 13th step. -Jesus fuckin Christ Batman I need to stop drinking. -Nobody gonna mention his eyes are crooked? Dudes looking at both sides of the periodic table at the same time -Congrats on 9 months… and I think you typed a 3 instead of 5 -You look like you need a meeting -I have nothing else to say but congrats man! -Great job buddy… how about a nice shave and a buzz on top … otherwise keep up the good work -Should celebrate with a drink -I know it's still a week out but I'm already not sorry we missed it! -The alcohol was helping -"*""Listen, you bald ass sober jones mother fu....""* - -I can't do it. lol - - Congratulations on 9 months, brother!!! Stay strong 💪" -I ain’t gonna even roast you. I’m proud of you for putting the bottle down. Enjoy the brighter side of life brother and don’t give up on yourself you’ll never regret it. -Nice work -36 with that fucking dome! You poor bastard. Fuckin costanza’d!!! -Sober from what?! A comb? -All these years of doing mushrooms finally caught up to Mario -No roast from me. But congrats on sobriety. It's hard af. -"You look like a tertiary character's side kick on Hercules. The one with Kevin Sorbo. That's not even a roast, man, it's a fact." -"What a shame the rest of you won’t recover. At least we know why you drank. -It’s a shame you will now have to live with yourself sober." -You would honestly look good full bald/ smooth. Try subreddit r/bald -I totally understand why you were an alcoholic. -Bro I can see the light reflect off your head -"Roast you? No way, congrats man. Keep up the good work. You look great!" -We all know it’s court ordered for you to be sober -The last time he was 9 months sober was birth -I don't know what you are clinging on to more... your sobriety or those last scraps of hair on the sides of your head. -"I'm not only the president of Hair Club for Men, I'm also its first failure." -Drunk looks better on you -Drinking should have stopped you a long time ago. -"When you finally accept that no matter how drunk you get, you'll always be blinded by the reflection of your scalp in the bathroom mirror." -"Path to sobriety was easy, just avoid reflective surfaces" -as a 37 year old male this was the best confidence boost I could have imagined today. -"I am not gonna roast...congrats on overcoming addiction, my sons father passed away from addiction on our sons bday this past April.. - - -Keep up the great work and congrats and happy early birthday" -"Congrats! - -9months can be a tough month. Stay safe" -Congrats on your sobriety! That’s more important than the roast. Take it from someone approaching a year sober! -Hair looks like it's getting out of the picture so we don't bring it up -"Congrats on the 9 months of being sober, but you should have shaved your head 9 months ago too. That horseshoe doesn’t work for anyone besides Hulk Hogan." -"You'll be hitting the bottle again, soon enough after all the resentments that will trigger you in this roast. Better call your sponsor now. And BT Dubs's, this roast will not balance out all of your step 9 work. You still gotta make amends." -Great job on the sobriety. I’m 8 months in and I couldn’t be happier. I’m looking at life with a different set of goggles. Keep it up!! -Quitter -Congrats best choice to make!!! -Just wanted to say congratulations. -What is with all these men on here lately with a humongous forehead? -Congrats on your sobriety. Keep it up. -I hope the next thing on the list is recovering some hair -Happy almost 37th birthday. Your parents are almost happy they didn’t abort you. -Looks like Archie Bunkers son in law -"You look like you stand in the doorway outside people's offices and say, ""To get by me, you must answer me riddles three.""" -Gonna start calling you diamond the way you’re the hardest 36 years I have ever seen -Sobriety doesn't cure extensive hair loss -Funny that you’re sober because your face makes me want to drink. -I bet your mum regrets staying sober for nine months too. -So happy for you! You look happy -You look like the weekend manager of a video store with a glory hole in the back . -Maybe you should start again -You look like my family ... like you came from a L O N G line of alcoholics. You look like you work as a failing sex toy salesman. But for real ... ya look like Lewis Blacks kid if he Eppstein'd Happy from inside out. -SHIT YEAH! -“But my personality is impeccable” -Looks like a guy who's too ugly not to relapse. -That's a typo right you mean 63m? -Louis C.uc.K. -I can see why alcohol left you -Good job on staying sober. You look like every TOOL loving dog dad I’ve ever seen. -Pic does not represent. We can’t see your pony tail and there is no white van in sight. -Looks like your left eye has a grudge against the right and is plotting revenge -"Congratulations on your clean time!! - -(Not here to roast, just congratulate 😊)" -Congratulations on your sobriety. -That cupboard where you keep your wigs? -You look so happy and content. The lie really is selling. -You shouldn't have stopped. You have already sped run your life and look 56 just keep drinking and finish yourself off. -36? Maybe with dyslexia -Stop making grilled cheese at 2am -You can finally afford hookers and can stop creeping the bowling alley with all that money you saved from spending on Night Train and MD 20/20. -"No roast, just a congrats on making the 9 month mark!!!" -That's the best haircut I've ever seen. Please never change it. -"Keep it up 9 months is not bad, your kidneys will then be your best friend" -I can see the High School bully rubbed your hairline back -Is that a dick on your shirt? -You look like you could use the top of your head to buff out wax on a car. -9 mins sober after this -36 I thought you were in your 40s hope you at least had some fun on your run 🏃 -You look like you were more fun nine months ago! -this picture was taken one day before Joel Hansen busted you. -Bro I’m 36 and you look 20 years older than me -"Jesus Christ, how hard did you drink? Even your facial structure looks drunk!" -Congrats on your sobriety. Sorry it has made you even less interesting and attractive. -"Can roast a guy trying to get sober, good on ya!" -first of all congrats on the recovery. Also can you look into my eyes lookie wookie? -Thank you!! Seeing this picture of how godawful someone can look at 36 is enough to make me stop drinking for good. Appreciate you. -I didn’t know alcoholism causes googly eyes -You better go back to the bottle. -You look like an abusive uncle -You look like a Skyrim character… and not one that anyone picks -"9 months off the drink, four seconds from sucking dick for hair plugs. Nice. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Congratulations brother." -"Gypsy Rose eyes. Also, congratulations on your sobriety 👊🏻" -Hell I’m 54 and you look like my older uncle ! No bullshit ! What were you drinking Bro ? petrol ⛽️? -No way I can roast a young and bald Stephen Root. -9 months sober is something to be immensely proud of ! Not roasting this one. Keep up the good work friend. -"you're glowing like a pregnant lady , sober man-baby!" -"Which left you first- your hair, your self esteem, or that mail order bride?" -"Damn if that’s how you look sober, hate to see you drunk!" -Fuck I feel so much better about myself as a 36 year old male now that I’ve seen you. -No roast here. Recently lost someone to alcoholism in their 30s. Good job man. Keep it up. -"Squintssy, I feel sorry for your optometrist and life coach. Your smile is catchy and nice though." -Bros going need the booze for the ladies not himself. Going take some drrrrrrrrunk chicks to touch this dude. -Banned from highway rest stops. -Good for you!! -Bald -"Congrats on being sober - -Congrats you have your feelings back and I am sorry your feelings came back" -You still have a long way to go -First of all congratulations on laying off the boze and second please stop the lies about your age. You know dam well you are pushing 50 -Your eyes still haven’t recovered from the alcoholism -Imagine if alcohol is sentient and the last thing it was seeing was this bloke!! What a way to go!! -"9 months sober, you say? I can't believe you've avoided mirrors for that long." -No one gives a fuck that you can’t drink responsibly -I’m glad you now have clarity. -“Stoned cold sober” can I get a hell yea! -"The pregnancy chip, because nine months ago you were fucked!" -Man that de-aging surgery was not kind to poor old Dr Phil -You make me want to start drinking again -I turn 50 in 1 week and my wife reckons you look older than me. -Looks like you’re not happy with that 9 months. -If stone cold Steve Austin was a registered sex offender: -"This isn’t a roast, just solid advice. Shave your head." -"Came in here to congratulate you on your recovery but then I noticed what group it is so, you are bald. Shave it all off man. It’s time to let it go." -Still in denial about the hair. -Seeing that pic makes me wants a drink -"Glad your processing! Hope all goes well! Happy Birthday when the time comes!! - -Now that reminds me; What happened at the Kids play park with that bearded man?? 😃" -"Dont go ""out"" with the boys on your bday, they may talk you into celebrating it." -"Pretty bright eyes, switching to big pharma meth is not sober." -Luis C.Gay. -Let’s hope your hairline recovers too 😩😭💀 -You make me wanna drink -Did your family abandon you the same time your hair follicles did? -Please don't show us what's in the cabinet. -You look like the TEMU version of my dad 🤣 -Shave your head and goatee and you’ll look 10 years younger. Cut it down to 46. -"Nothing to insult here, congratulations man." -"Damm dude, Starring so hard into the camera you’re going crosseyed." -Is this a BALD EAGLE? 🦅 lol -You look like if Dr. Phil had a cocaine addiction -Isn’t this the guy who forges trumps medical records -you cope with alcohol withdrawal by huffing the turtle wax you put on your head -go back to drinkin -"Why couldn't you handle your booze like a real man? - - -Sorry, I just can't think of anything. Have a great birthday.. My birthday is very soon and I suck at alcohol as well and won't be drinking." -"You kinda look like that guy from sienfield, the bald one , small one" -"I'm sorry dawg, she's not coming back." -"Hey! No roast man. Fuck that. - -Congrats on 9 months sober!!!!! God willing 8/17 I’ll have 2 years. Keep it up - you look great" -"Dead wife in the armoire, amirite? - -Not yours, of course." -You look like an Elder Scrolls Oblivion NPC -"You look like George costanza and Danny bonaduce had a...well not a fucking kid...some type of rock ape? - -P.s congratulations on the sobriety mate, keep up the good work." -"I don't know how you manage to stay sober while looking like the bad guy from Toy Story 2, but good on you for it!" -"9 months is a great effort. keep it up, baldy." -"Fellow recovering alcoholic here, congrats on your 9 months. Hardest thing ive ever fought for is my sobriety." -No... I don't have time to read the highlights of your homebrew D&D setting. -"I am glad you beat the monkey off your back but now you that you are dry, instead of stories about going through Trump's old hookers you will be trying to enthrall your buddies with tales of your new button collection." -"Firstly, happy cake day! - -Secondly, congrats on the sobriety. Keep it up!" -Dude has definitely gotten into an argument over the rules to a tabletop miniatures game -Loser C. K. -"I applaud and support your sobriety. But also, are you sure? Really? With…all *THAT* goin’ on? - -But in the classic roast tradition, good on you my man. I’ve struggled myself. Stay the course." -Look like Louis CK about to jizz in to a plant while watching women in a hotel hobby. -Congratulations on 9 months big guy! -"Congrats on the sober time. I know this is a roast me, but for real, congrats. Its not an easy thing. - -Looking at your fingernails, it looks like there is so much white in them that you have atomic poisoning." -"He may be sober, but he drives everyone else to drink." -You’ve been through enough. Good luck brother. -Jason Alexanduh. -Looking like a dungeons and dragons expert 😂 -You look like a mustaceless whitewashed Steve Harvey -why? you roasted yourself by posting your picture -Did you finally ever get Shake and Meatwad to stay out of your pool? -Congrats on 9 months sober... But I need a few drinks just to look at you. -"you look like dr phil before he got old, this is a shit roast, congrats on being 9 months sober" -"Age say 36, forehead says 56" -How the fuck is this 49 y/o 36? -"If you had hair, good looks, no drinking problem, didn’t look like a peadophile, generally weren’t a loser and your eyes were somehow near the same height on your face, you’d be a catch. " -You look like a thumb -No roast here. Congrats on the sobriety. I’m 53 and have 2.5 years sober too. One day at a time brother! -"It's a catch-22: - -When you're drunk, you don't recognize your ugliness. - -But, now that you're sober, you have to look at yourself in the mirror." -Bruh just shave your head…. Its over you lost. -"I've never seen someone who more accurately resembled a toadstool than you. But seriously, good for you staying dry- keep up the good work." -"i proud of you, you bald-headed, derpy-faced bastard" -Ok so that’s 52 in Whisky years? -You know doing blow off someone's schlong in a rest stop bathroom isn't technically sober! -No roast. Congrats on 9 months sober. -36?? Were you born on Feb. 29th and only count every 4 years? -That last little bit of hair is competing with your liver for which can hang on the longest -You look like you were a lot more fun when you were a drinker -"So did your wife or your hair leave first? - -(For real congrats on the sobriety)" -Man has more hair on his back than his head for sure -Go back to drinking . Nobody likes a quitter -Looks like Darth sidious -Where's his hairline???? -Your hairline is literally running away from your face. -You ride a tricycle and want to play a game. -"Congrats on the anniversary. Your abstinence is something to be proud of. Remember to keep taking it one day at a time. So like, instead of telling yourself “I’m never getting laid again,” tell yourself, “I’m just not getting laid today.”" -"Seriously, congratulations on getting sober?" -You look like the muppet that none of the other muppets want to talk to -The people on the comments dont kno how to roast fr -Congrats on 9 months! I’m working on 5 myself. -Ain't even gonna hate congrats on the 9 months brother -Wow... Silent Bob has let himself go... -Well you better go back on the drink or have the pubs banned you for lack of on ur head -Not much happening after Seinfeld huh -"This isn't something I've ever said to a man but, You have ""crazy eyes""." -More like thirty-sixteen. -Louis F- -"Your left eye said “sliiiiide to the left, ~~crisscro~~ .. nvm”" -Homer Simpson is that you? -Jeez!...do I have to say it about some online rando...ok...👍. Don't expect a Christmas card. -You look like the dude who tried to kidnap me in the mall when I was 6. -Cant fool me F murray abraham -Pussy -How far away must you live from school zones? -Anyone your trying to fuck is going to need all the alcohol they can get -congratulations on staying sober 9 years! How about getting shitfaced tonight to forget that ever happened? -Super Mario definitely already jumped on him on his way to capture the flag -Creepy bobblehead doll comes to life. -"Damn, after seeing that mug, I feel like I need a drink..." -You look like a penis…literally. -You look like you sniff bicycle seats. -Cheers! -"""It's-a-me, sober Mario! At least for now.""" -I don’t like the way you’re leering at me. -¿Tienes 36 años? Pareces estar cerca de los 50. -You look like you designed that penis in a turtleneck graphic on your shirt. -Discount Louis CK. -The rosy cheeks say that is a lie -Should’ve kept drinking -You look like a door-to-door Jesus salesman. -You have the face that no one remembers. -"Here’s a brew to you 🍺 -Also you look like shit 👍" -Stop making it harder on the rest of us addicts. Be responsible when you do drugs quiter. -You should get a hair system. -After seeing your pic I got sh*t faced drunk and I don’t even drink. -If Louis C.K. looked like somehow more of a pervert. -You look like a dildo with ears -I used to know a kid that grew up in your basement. Say hi to Peter for me! -Rehab is for quiters -One beer wont hurt -I'll snort this line for you ❄️ we go away back -Dude! 36 and looks like a bag of cement! -"So… - -How many children are trapped in the cupboard behind you?" -Your hairline goes back more than Naruto’s backstory. You look like you enjoy tentacle hentia with xray so you can see where it’s going -Congratulations on being sober I'll be sure to take a shot for you -What the hell are you looking at? I'm so confused! Are you cross eyed? -No woman will ever love you the way the booze does -Youve been caught masturbating next to a school. -Let’s drink to your accomplishment! -I can't believe we are the same age. You look 59. -"You look like someone that's only celebrating 8 months of sobriety. - -/congrats!" -If drinking keeps you at home.... -Let's say don't pull a mirror next to a bottle. -Restroom janitor in the local pool hall -No one is ever going to hold hands with you in the mall. -"Hold up, gotta slap you real quick to get them eyes back straight" -"Louis CK that never made it, from another universe." -If Tim McGraw started drinking again -Randy -You should celebrate with a drink -"He’ll yeah Jack! - -What is ur AST AND ALT?" -You look like AL off Home Improvement -Stopped drinking to know for certain which drink to roofie -"That's some bad looking 36, hombre." -Your eye is melting down -Alcohol wasn’t the problem -Cheers! 🍻 -Pussy -Quitter. -Stop lying to your sponsor and more importantly lying to yourself. You look like you drank last night. -4 years 3months and today….stay the course! -Glad to see John Travolta finally remove the hair piece. -"When you drink, do you straighter ?" -If I looked like a sunburned jar of mayo I’d want to turn to a bottle too. -36 my ass. -He isn’t allowed within 200 feet of a school. -Mr. Lundy from Young Sheldon -… with a hit of nitrous -Don’t drop the chili on the carpet! -Was your mother 9 months sober when she was pregnant with you? -Cheers! -Used to pick up the fat pussy getting drunk but now gets nothing. -"You say alcoholic, but your picture screams “7 year olds”. They say in AA “keep coming back”, you should stay away from the schools." -Your birthday is a great excuse to hang out at a Chuck E Cheese -comment -You look like you both spectate and compete at the Kentucky Derby -"You knew he was the one when he got you flowers for no reason, planned a trip to the Hamptons, and got you the jumbo salt lick for your B-day." -He fell for the buck teeth but stayed for that homey smell of used cat litter. -You must give really toothy blowjobs. -31 but still shops at Forerver 21 -Slowly introduces the mole in pics 3 and 4and then re-fades it LOL has the cat ever tried to eat it off your face thinking it’s food u left over -I'd roast you but it's illegal to cook horse meat -I like how your headphones have more cleavage than you. -Try using your hands instead of your teeth for woodcarving. -I can see that you’re a failed artist you don’t even notice that you have some paint left on the side of your face. -That face makes your mole look hideous. -"Every time your fiancé tries to be romantic and whispers sweet words in your ear, is he... - -The horse whisperer?" -You look like Essential Oils & Zodiac Signs are your entire personality. -Your tongue got it's own white picket fence -Avril Latrine -"I think it's cool you kept your grandma's dentures, and honor her memory by wearing them everyday. " -"When I was a kid during Halloween, I loved those fake wax teeth. I never thought about wearing them year round but good for you!" -More teeth than a Ferrari gearbox -Does the boss’ wife know about your engagement to their husband yet? -Beaver lady* -You look like a chore to hangout with -She cuts her own hair but there’s no way she’s her own dentist. There has to be at least 10 of those motherfuckers to take on this grille. -Y’all ever watched Wallace and Gromit? -"Hopefully, you can move past the failed artistry and achieve successful dentistry." -Being engaged to your cat doesn’t count you know? -"Not sure why, but I’m suddenly wondering whether a beaver can eat her own beaver." -How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood like what your max? -You look like if Kyle from South Park grew up to be a transitioned lesbian. -"When you're response to anything about an outfit is ""thanks I thrifted it"" don't worry, we already know." -Like a Jodi Arias from TEMU. -Toothier than a Ted Buddy attack! -The cat has more joy in its eyes than you do and it looks like it ready to give up its 9th and final life just to get away from you. -Got her teeth from the quarter machine at the dollar store -I hear your teeth have their own members of parliament. -If you had a party drug of choice it would be ketamine -How does any sound make it past that wall? -Pic 5: Daddy-daughter roleplay where you promise to be a good girl if he gets you oral surgery to shave off 1/3 of those chiclets? Everyone has their kink. -No engagement ring? Does he know you two are engaged? -"You're engaged, so is your official name gonna be MRS ED?" -Are you sure you didn't mean horse lady? -Hopefully you're engaged to an orthodontist -You whicker when you laugh -Those choppers are so big each one looks like individual tombstones. -She’s also an actor. I loved her as Donkey in the Shrek movies. -'Successful corporate worker' - works as a receptionist -"Girl could eat an apple through a letterbox and -Chew a pear through a tennis racket." -"If you wore that hat to the derby, they’d probably just throw a saddle on you…" -Umm this is your Team lead and We need to talk about the definition of Success honey. -It's always unfortunate and highly unlikely to find a gal whose teeth are bigger than her tits....nibble on that for a little bit. -Take your teeth back for a refund get a couple sizes smaller -Hmmm. Neigh -Is your fiancée going to make you file those teeth down before the wedding? -“Here’s a quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.” -Tooth fairy handed out hundreds when she was a kid -Did Tom Petty give you his teeth before he died? -"Since the arts failed, you could try building log dams." -Does your cat chase that mole around on your face like it's a laser pointer? -If you did a hand stand you could pass as a rake. -Man them teeth! Looks like you could chew a house in half in less than a day. -Can eat the corn off a cob through a chicken wire fence -At least the cats cute -"Go to your profile, get an NSFW warning, get all excited, only to see more pictures of your chiclet-sized teeth. 😞" -Teeth. -The only time she gets banged is when she does her hair. -You look like someone who modeled for Picasso 🤓 -One of Mr. Ed’s sperm -Cat lady? I would have thought you like horses -What is hairier? The mole or your cat? -"With that face, you don’t show anywhere near enough cleavage to call yourself successful at anything." -First time I’ve seen a female hatfisher. Keep the hat on. -I can hear you bitching from here . -Being engaged to your cat doesn’t count as being in a relationship -"“Hmmm, what would distract from my Secretariat-like teeth? I know, a giant hat!”" -Cor look at them chompers. She's practically part Beaver 🦫 -Dear God you look like Collene Ballinger with goddamn ukelele in your ass! -Was it roasting in Istanbul when you bought your Turkey Teeth? -Don’t let the teeth distract you from her cock nose -Good everyone notice the teeth -Hopefully your fiance is an orthodontist -Are the comically sized teeth supposed to distract us from the comically sized mole or is it the other way around? -"You could always try becoming an actor, seeing as you are already a corporate sellout! XD ;p" -More caps than a Pepsi bottling plant -Keep your fiancé away from the optometrist -Was it cool watching your dad perform on tv with the electric mayhem as a kid?  -She could eat an apple through a chain link fence -Thanks for saving Michael Jordan & all of our lives from the Aliens -How are your front teeth 2 different sizes? -Hell of a set of teeth -Random admin worker -No more room for hotel art? -You been 31 15 times -Ya' ain't got enough meat on your bones to be roasted. -"Do you play a ukulele, wear red lipstick, & have an alter personality called Miranda?" -What’s up doc? -Wow those teeth you could give a beaver a run for his money -alex from minecraft -"I am very upset with all of these roasts. I am from Canada and this is our national animal, the proud beaver." -"HI, my name is Hiedi ... Hiding Horse face . I like carrots and long walks . I like it when someone brushes my mane of thick hair. I am high maintenance I have to get my hooves done once a month . Saddle up and let's go for a ride" -Are you breaking those teeth in for a race horse? -That upper lip failed you too -Just cause you have a job doesn’t make you a successful corporate worker. -You look like Nicholas cage in long legs -She looks like she says what's up Doc and slowly nibbles a long carrot -"""failed artist"", Adolf Hitler 2.0??" -Failed artist yet not one post of art. By art do you mean Pussy painting on OnlyFans? -Just bc you have a guy locked in your basement and chained to the radiator doesn’t mean you’re engaged…. -Pretty sure you can eat both sides of the corn on the cob at the same time. -"Firty one, female, emgaged, failed artift (mbut fucfefful cormporate worker), cat lady. Roaft me." -at least the cat is cute -You look like you open pickle jars with your teeth -Nobody subscribing to your OnlyFans does not make you a “failed artist.” -You're the one at the bachelorette party screaming for the stripper to dangle his balls in peoples faces. -You look like you’re about to start singing about a toxic gossip train. -He must love toothy blow jobs. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood with those teeth. -Stonehenge ass lookin teeth -Why do your teeth look like they came out of a Christmas cracker? -Blowjob eyes with Chainsaw Teeth -"What constitutes a failed artist? If you say your art hasn’t sold, I invite you to review Van Gogh’s history. - -(Sadly, his legacy is almost *too* commercial now. One out of every 10 shower curtains sold today features his “Starry Night,” it seems.)" -You've got more teeth than a fine-tooth comb. -You look like you are about to build a dam. -"Not a burn, but get that moles/splotchs removed, could become cancerous in the future, and removing it will make you prettier now." -You look like you're going to knock on my door and sell me some Mormon Apocalypse book -You are a failed what???? 卐卐‍ -Gives off pepper from nikkke -She look like the cover of the animorph books the in between animal and human phase -You have the looks as Velma and hair as Daphne of Scooby doo -I can’t. You’re like the brunette version of ME❤️🤷‍♀️ -"You look like a mid-boring person thats worth a try to talk too, because you just send out ""despite my engagement im lonely as fuck""-signals, but they walk away at the sight of your enormous teeth." -You didn’t fail. You are a work of art. -"You look like someone that cries out about wanting to go to a pumpkin patch your husband didn't want to go to. Then, write a bad review no matter how good the experience was." -You look like your favorite pass time is biting strangers -I see your job didn’t come with dental insurance. -You look like Jodie Arias’s broke cousin with no dental plan -God Failed that underbite so you could fail at art. -Man I do miss Elliot page before the transition -"Come on, don't fuck with us. You're not actually engaged 😂" -You look like you're enthusiastic about kamala Harris being on the ballot -Your boyfriend is 100% gay. -You kind of have a cartoon smile…. Like with the teeth after you get an anvil dropped on your head -Successful corporate worker sounds like an oxymoron phrase -"Hope you were smart enough not to marry a guy named Ed, or everyone is going to start calling you Mrs. Ed." -Stalking a guy doesn't make you engaged to him -I said no teeth -"Adam Sandler as a 31F, engaged, failed artist" -pretty girls get bangs to show their face. bangs are not for you. -when you die they will send your body to the glue factory. this will be your highest achievement. -She has to go through a car wash to get those teeth cleaned 😬 -You're everyone's least favorite person at the farmers market. -Even your request to be roasted wreaks of cat food and desperation. -"Wow a failed artist but not genocide, how’s it feel to fail twice?" -I bet you couldn’t wait to take a bite out of the corporate life -You look like you know how to fold a fitted sheet. -I wouldn't be scared if you got into politics -When we buried my lesbian cousin in the 80s we threw away her clothes. I didn't know a horse would have dug them out of the trash and still be wearing them in 2024. Also congrats on the engagement ... and sorry about him cheating on you. -"Go back to being an artist, you’d be a lot cooler again….it’s not a brag in 2024 for a woman to be successful in a corporate setting brodie….they are handed the positions….Men are hated and woman go to HR to get them fired in hopes to fill the position and climb the corporate ladder….Every female manager I ever had flirted with me,, one tried to fire me after I refused to hit…..congrats kid you made it in life….." -"Don't think this is a good idea, last time a failed Artist got Roasted by the world we ended up with camps with chemical showers." -If I make you squirt will you promise not to smile? -Nah but like I fr love your oufits -"According to J.D. Vance, you're running America! Congratulations 🎉" -I just know you have skeletons in your tumblr ask box. -Why do you feel the need to tell people you're engaged... are you trying to make people think your actually wanted? -Call me crazy but she look like the girl duck from chicken little -Get some new dentures... -Buccees spokeswoman -Woman with zero haters -"Your poor future husband... Wait, failed artist? Your poor polycule ☹️." -you are gorgeous and your teeth are cute fuck what everyone else is saying ik it’s roast me but fr everyone is over exaggerating and i think that’s super fucked up you honestly are so gorgeous your smile is so beautiful i wouldn’t change anything about you if i were you. God made you perfect . <3 -and your teeth are barelyyyyy imperfect literally who gaf everyone on this subreddit i’m sure looks far less than how you look 🤣🤣🤣 like any of them are engaged either -"you are not a failed artist, you just don’t have the time and money to be a full time artist" -"So lovely and a kind heart. You didn't fail- you are still an artist- art is personal and the more you pursue it, the more pure, purposeful, and meaningful it becomes. The best art comes from hardship, challenges, lulls in life. All that becomes a part of your art, and eventually others see that sincerity coming through. Get back at it if you haven't done so. The corporate job can also be an influence and facilitator to your creativity- don't look at it as a doorstop. Stay healthy, give of yourself, and keep at what you love. Your kitty needs you to work to keep it fed, but the kitty also picks up on the good vibe of you doing your art- there is an existential energy shared with creativity. Get back at it." -Dang everyone on here making remarks about your smile and teeth. Don't show them any other body parts. Please! -"Holy shit! It wasn't just art that failed her. Her dentist, orthodontist, and braces did too!!!" -"the face of a lady who will push for a big mortgage, then divorce her husband in 30 years and take everything" -she failed art school? shit i hope she isnt austrian -The many expressions of a Saint Bernard. -Engaged to what??? Eating Sugar cubes ?? -Wants to one up Taylor Swift by getting engaged first. Bet your cat is named Mr. Wigglesworth. -You look like Pokimane’s stunt double -Sucking dick all the way up that corporate ladder. -"Your pubic hair is designed in an unordinary manner, because you are original….but it still smells like shit" -Isn’t the first thing that American dorks get for their mail order brides is braces? At least make sure the “fiancé“ has began the finance process prior to coming to the US. It would be a good idea to get a biopsy on the mole as well. -Gets passed around at a music festival more than a joint. -Successful corporate worker? More like the Server From Dennys who Decided to Take the $13.25 left from my Visa Gift card in Exchange for some Hawk Tuah -"Failed artist is code word for ""I tried porn once."" In your case, you couldn't even keep your job as a fluffer for obvious reasons..." -You look like you walk into grocery stores and restaurants barefoot and think that's bohemian or cottagecore. -"I can't tell if you're in a car or bathroom with the cat and the hat. So, I'm going with dumpster." -They should write a book about you called 50 shades of ugly -Where’s your feed bag? -You look like a Model for (Bat Shit Crazy Magazine) -"Summer is that you, your teeth look..." -And your Boyfriends name is Mr Whiskers -She's a huge fan of Sarah Jessica Parker -I’m pretty sure Dennis Reynolds may or may not have murdered you. -I feel like you should be hiding behind a door while Jack Nicholson smashes through it with an axe. -Cat lady yet your cat looks like he needs a vacay far away from you. -Peel oranges through a tennis raquet -"Well, conquer the whole Europe! 🇩🇪" -Just what the world needs... another failed artist who sold their soul to a corporation.. -A corporation that makes oversized dentures? -"That ridge you call a nose is so pronounced, I bet if you crossed your eyes, you'd get a panoramic view of the Grand Canyon" -More teeth than a chainsaw -Old mcdonald had a farm... heeeyaaa heeeeyaaaa hoooo -"You have absolutely no idea why every guy you've dated has told you how much he loves roadhead, but then has asked you to stop after 30 seconds." -I didn’t know Jodi Arias got out of prison -You mean 41 right? -"Ok, Pam Halpert" -You look exactly like your description -Failed artist.. we all remember the last failed artist -Could eat an apple through a tennis racket with those teeth -"Those bangs aren't hiding that billboard ahh forehead of yours, can I use ur nose real quik... I gotta mark out a poster down the middle." -Yeah you do look like a girl who would call herself a lady. -That smile just JUMPS OUT AT YA don't it? -You could eat lettuce through a tennis racket! -Take this quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. -"Looking at you, I am sure there is no need for a lawnmower for you. You will probably finish the job with your teeth by the time others start their mowers." -He would have married you by now if you didn’t keep teething his blowjobs. -Lol I have to sit this one out guys. I’m used to these gremlins we’ve been getting. She ain’t bad at all -You have a nice pussy! -you could eat an apple through a chain-linked fence -You had your prime during COVID -That dental insurance better not fail like your art career -C’mon let’s see the forehead -I think those teeth speak for themselves -Someone shit on her face and claimed it was a beauty mark. Cindy Toothford -Your teeth could make a great dam barrier here in the Philippines. -"Only Fans doesn't count as art, and McDonalds Manager doesn't count as corporate." -"Horrific proportions: Face. writing to paper sheet. Using a tablet as a phone. -Your flat looks like a 20 year old gamer male lives in it. - -No wonder you failed." -Ever meet someone that thinks they hot but they trash? If not take a look at op -"Allow me to roast you in your native language, ""neeiiiiggghhh, pbbbbb, neighhh neeeiiiggghhh""" -I went through your post history. Some of your art is just mediocre. The rest is spectacularly awful. -You look like a stouffers lasagna that expired in the bottom of your freezer 20 years ago. Even if you managed to heat it up you wouldn’t want to eat it much less fuck it. -You look like you have male pattern baldness. -Thanks for being so open and telling the tooth -Jodi Arias -Those teeth could eat apples through a letterbox -"Immediately for some reason I know you work in HR, watch anime and annoy your whole household including your cat." -You know you can get that fixed in turkey right? -Your dentist could give you a check up while they were stuck on the International space station -It must take an hour to brush that half-acre of teeth you have in the front -Your teeth are doing the Mexican wave -Tax isn’t the only one with a lot of fringe benefits -They had dropped the standard of art since the last time we had a failed artist. -Tuck in your teeth -You look like the kind of girl I’d date out of pity but then you’d also be dumb enough to cheat anyway for some reason. -Did you throw shit in a fan? -You'd be a successful artist if you made wood sculptures but congrats on the engagement i hope they enjoy getting their wood gnawed on -">successful corporate worker - -Secretary, or Secretariat?" -"Nanny mcfee, why u using my phone !" -Gillette shaving cream in the background for that mole. -Marble mouth -"Don't you mean ""roaft me""." -You look like a failed impressionist🤮 -I’m sorry for your fiancés failing eye sight -You look bland AF. Can't even think of anything insulting to say about you. -No life = Successful corporate worker -comment -"Sorry that he left your ass, but to be fair, it looks like your ass had already left." -If you’re broke you could consider renting yourself out as a surfboard on the weekends. Easy cash -I think your ass might actually be concave -"You look like what Amy Winehouse looks like, right now." -"Your thigh gap is your best feature. That’s because the less of you there is, the better. " -"His version: ""We went on a few dates and she started stalking me thinking that we were together. She even joined my gym, and kept bringing me roses and goats to my workplace.""" -I would cheat too -It kinda looks like your face melts in the rain -"You could have just wrote, 21-f, worthless. Would've been less wordy and more to the point." -"One bad decision from an overdose away and several years of rehab and relapse, followed by a dead end job then a life in porn, its not everyone's ideal situation but it's something to look forward to for you." -So this is what a Walmart brand sex doll will look like... -“Do you worst but be creative” seems like what someone told your ex before he started dating you. -Which one of the goats cheated on you? I will make it into a soup. -There's enough space in that thigh gap to fit the entire gypsy family + their horses. -"When your weird ass, ball bag skinned cat is looking at you and questioning your life decisions you know it’s bad…" -"if sis was a company - -.... that company would be filing for bankruptcy due to lack of assets. - -also a gap in public engagement." -I bet you can’t find sunglasses to fit over those hideous fake lashes. -You are like if Lady Gaga had no talent and was actually trans -When lying down builders could use you as a spirit level. -Do you need food? You look like one of those kids in 3rd world countries where you donate 35¢ a day to feed starving kids -You look like Wednesday was made on a Friday. -Girl why are you walking in a restricted area in the rain -"Ass so flat, if she turned sideways, she’d disappear from the group photo!" -Even the cat is trying to figure out what the fuck it’s looking at -Did ur ass cheat too and left you? -"Let’s see I could 1) Do nothing and be pretty and healthy. Or I can 2) Go for an Eating Disordered-Plasticky-Pale-Sickly-Gen Z Goth look. I could fuck around with my nails, eyelashes, complexion, lips, starve myself, tat myself up and ruin Option 1 potential. - -Yeah, it’s definitely Option 2!!" -There's something very strange going on with your face. -El-vile-ra -Could use you as an ironing board. -Pancakes anybody? -I’ve seen rulers with more curves. -I just got syphilis in my eyes from watching your pics -"I'd recommend making OF to remedy your financial issues but that ass so flat, the walls are jealous." -"Damn… I’m historically terrible at roasts, but for the love of god, eat a fuckin sandwich." -I guess being broke is why your couldn't finish paying for your transition therapy. -Got cheated on because having sex was like fucking a straight board -Only thing flatter than your bum is your personality -"As someone with an eating disorder, I am glad you are in recovery. With that being said. - -Do some squats, friend." -"Life has already done its job, there’s nothing to roast" -You look easy to cheat on -"It literally looks like the door has been hitting your ass on the way out, your whole damn life" -He made the right choice -Temu Shannon Doherty Throat goat….. even the cat is saying WTF -"Your full body pic looks like photoshop, its mega sad that its not" -you’ll never be asian give it up -Is it plywood flooring? You'll blend right in. -You literally laughed your ass off -You're not too far off from onlyfans goth egirl... -I actually cant fix her -"13 photos, yeah we get it..." -So you’re sharing the floor with goats? At least someone will cuddle with you. -Thank you for serving another term as president of the ittie bittie titty committee. -Why does all that sound like it was your fault. -"You mean to tell me that somebody saw all of that, and still felt like they needed more? I just don’t see how after getting a pinch full of that ass how anybody would possibly look for anything more. And your whole vibe of Amy Winehouse meets Wednesday Adams, meets a freshly staked vampire is really bringing in all the guys." -"7th pic looks like a wax statue, what is wrong with your face!!!" -"I best sex with you is painful, mostly because your hip bones would dig into everything." -Its was fine until slide 9 -Address so I can have food delivered? -Could you show us on the doll where your daddy touched you? -"If Netflix did an adaptation of The Goonies, you’d be Sloth." -It's enough to make you LMAO. But I see it's gone already. -What scary movie did you star in -Built like a door. Guessing he took the ass with him when he left. -You look like you smell like cat shit & litter -You look like if Zooey Deschanel had a stroke. -You look as if you said „Noooo Noooo Nooooo“ when they tried to make you go to rehab. -"Pic #1 cat is like ""huh??? What a fucking liar...you live in a penthouse in NYC eat like a queen and have NEVER had a bf!! Wtf?""" -You’ve been used more than a lint roller at an animal sanctuary. -"The camera adds ten lbs - You should revert that all to your ass" -And 0% ass! Damn 😂 -"You paid for that nose? - -Fuck." -Michael Jackson rose from the dead -r/13or30 -Costco Brand Amy Winehouse -"Those goats are your best friends, huh? - -It's their floor you're sitting on?" -You look crazy as sht -Micheal jackson nose but none of the money. You're fucked -Looks like you’ve fully recovered you little porker 🐷 -Even the cats like why would I waste my time on this biatch. -The cat is looking at you like you’re the biggest turd it ever pooped. -He’s a good guy -"You’ve heard of the 6 million dollar man, here’s the 6 dollar woman. - -Popsicle sticks and huffing glue." -Kind of hard to roast when the prime rib is already perfectly done. 🔥 -"When you enter the house, is it through the mail slot or keyhole?" -"You're the human equivalent of drywall. Pale, easily broken, and completely flat" -Does it cost extra for a salon to put fake lashes on a toothpick? -Maybe prioritize buying food than getting lashes and nails? -Bro looks like a thigh-gapped Amy Weinhouse with a chubby face -Patent: noacitol -Someone mistook you for the new towel rack at the gym……until you blinked. -Carpenters love her flat as plywood easy to screw. -You look like what happens when you order Wednesday Addams from Temu… -Damn and she got a hairless cat? Probably why he cheated. -Lazy Blowjob Energy -Might as well just go back to eating. Those Oreos are the only thing that wants to be inside of you -Hopefully you filled out a police report for whoever stole it from you. 🫤Your ass is what I’m meaning. -"There’s a career for you in cleaning sewer pipes, crap needs to be disposed of and you’ll fit right in." -You look like a trans Temu version of Sssniperwolf -" michael jackson genderswap, the later years" -"First pic: He's thinking: It's like looking in to a mirror! Also, quite clearly those goats want out." -You look like Monday Addams cuz the thought of you is sickening -At least you and the floor have something in common -Remember when goth chicks were hot? -LMFO -Yeah I would left too -You have the least symmetrical face I've ever seen. It's like God just half-assed it with you. -Prospects look bleak. -If being a loser girl doesn't work out you could always be a popular boy -You sound like the ideal mail order bride for a weird old guy. Want a green card? -You look like a first addition ai synthetic human lifeless not quite female more robot like - the version that will be on sale in a year 85% off. -I have a broomstick that is thicker than you -Being broke will help with your eating disorder… -Hot crazy scale is now proven -Red flag personified -"We can see who the goat is ☝🏻 - -Guys is a fool though 🤷🏻‍♂️ I like I woman with a crazy look in here eye life’s usually way more interesting 😂😂" -Sicky Minaj -porn career starts in 3 2 1... go. -How is your ass flatter than your personality? -If apathy made makeup commercial -Wow. A goth 2x4. -Your description just sounds like a common story -"You call it cheating, he calls it survival" -Built like a 2x4 front and back. -Dogs often sleep on floors. -"I am more curvy then you , as a man" -Fentanyl has entered the Chat... -You could open up your own Waffle House with that pancake ass -"With a resume like that, I’m sure you’ll be getting your septum pierced at your local Piercing Pagoda before the end of the week." -He sure dodged a nuclear blast -"Your eating disorder involved eating roses? I get why your friends let you sleep on their floor, they think you will eat all the bugs and dust." -All that leggings for nothin 😞 -"I would cheat too, even the cat wants out of whatever shit you have him in, Pancake ass looking like a frisbee." -"That reminds me, I need to do the ironing." -The most interesting thing about you is your eating disorder. -U forgot to put vegan and borderline in your Bio.. -"You look like you will ruin some ones marriage in the future. Not by cheating, just by the way you look." -Great Value Whitney Cummings -Be thankful you had a boyfriend don't expect to get another -Even the cat knows this is a bad idea -Why are you cosplaying as a teenage lead singer boy of an early 2000s emo band? -Your cat already does -Your ex made the right choice. I’d want to be with anyone other than you too. -RIP inbox. Redditors are creeps. -Of course you bought the ugliest cat to make yourself feel better -"Looks, you are a goatasexual just like me, j k, about me not you....otherwise I like your face!" -If hit it and quit it had a face -Ive never seen a woman in yoga pants that I wouldn’t like to ….well you know…. Until now -I didn't know chocking on cock was considered a eating disorder -These have been posted already -"Even the cat looking at you like you like you aint -Shit" -This is called low self esteem and lives off attention -So the Corpse Bride finally came back. I wish her well. -Even the goats couldn't stand the smell and were trying to get away from that snatch. -You look like a model from the House of Wax that was stolen and used by one of those dark web sexaholics -Just one step closer to discovering black penises and eye shadow. -You look like they named a vitamin deficiency after you. -Ok mate we don’t need 13 of your most unflattering pictures of you -" - -Pic #4. - -Id adopt the grey one on the right." -"Even though you have the same dimensions as my surf board, my surf board has more things going for it than you." -You look like you smell like car piss. -She do be looking like a whole ass Minecraft skeleton though... someone. Get this girl a bow.. 😊 -You’re about as interesting as an empty KFC container. All bone and no breast -She got that metro man smirk -"Damn, how such a beautiful face have body of a ruler?" -You need to contact the police to report a robbery. Someone stole your ass and only left you with a tailbone. -You look like my pelvis will hurt after F\*\*king you doggy for 10 seconds -You look like your main personality trait is draining and exhausting people around you and then being upset when they need a break. -You are Guillermo Del Toro’s muse. -"Didn’t you post on r/amiugly or -r/amiuglybrutallyhonest recently? - -I remember you" -The cat looking at you like girl for real? 😂😂😂 why -You look like every holiday is dramatic but never your fault. -Insecurity meets vanity -How you gone stand in a stable with 3 goats and still have the least amount of sex appeal -Cheated on ... with goats? -Are you ok Annie? -Not gonna roast you but I encourage you to get therapy. -You or your twin behind you? -You look like billie eilish if she transitioned into a dude -"It’s hard to roast something with no body mass, no meat on those bones." -Pic 4 is cute with you and your siblings. -Was your ex a dendrophile? -Trauma dumping donkey witch -You look like every other teenage meth addict in a rehab. -Can I just get your number? ;) -Maybe you just stay on your friend’s floor. Your physique looks more suited as a mat than a person anyways. -Your cat looks like my shaved ballsack -Is that rose the only thing you’ve eaten this week? -I’d fuck you but have self respect. -"When you're out on a date, ""So where did you guys meet?"" AUSCHWITZ" -The cat know we finna flame yo ass up -“Do your worse” looks like you got that bit covered -I really could not care at all waste of my time reading that -Seems like he made the better choice -Why do these always have like 10 pictures now -Ive seen ironing boards with more shape. -Your cat is 2 seconds away from fucking you up. 🤣🤣🤣 let's see that instead. -You wasn’t throwing shit back 😜 -Even the cat thinks you're crazy. -Jesus Christ even the cat can’t stand u -"Damn girl, you’re like if Morticia Addams was gross and uninteresting as fuck." -13 pictures and not one of them worth a crafty wank -21 my ass. -"It’s neat that your whole body is shaped like a big red flag, Hotel Transylvania girl" -Does it hurt sitting on your lower back all the time? -Pretty embarrassed that I want stick stickly to call me daddy. Guess that’s more of a roast of me tho. You look like you you should be getting stuck in a front load washer somewhere -Why did you post a picture of 4 goats? -There's easy ways to make money. But you already knew that -Would -You look like you’re living in a Wes Anderson movie all by yourself. -Needed a new ironing board -"Reading the caption, I started feeling sorry for you.. looking at the pictures I understood why those things happened to you" -What in the michael jackson looking hell -Even the cat is like “how the fuck you manage to be uglier then me” -You’ve heard of “Heroin Chic”. Now meet “Fentanyl Reek” -Taylor swift ass -"No ass. -Looks like even if you gained 40 lbs you’d just be fat and still have no ass." -A girl and her goats - a love story. -Ur so skinny I can literally see through you -Classic BPD right here -Yk… the eating disorder is probably what left you with that boyish figure -Husbando now we are homeress -Looking like a boring fuck that wants the world to know you’re wild in bed. -Just give up 🤷🏻‍♂️ -"Just goes to show, doesn't matter how beautiful you are, men will still cheat on you. I hope you heal soon and your next chapter is much much happier. (Sorry I didn't have a roast for you. Ummmm...and your momma dresses you funny! There hahahaha. Hugs)" -Oh you look extra crazy psycho -Even the cat is like “you sure you want this?” -You could be so cute if you lost some weight. -What happens when a stick insect goes through her Wednesday Addams phase -"You didn’t actually need to tell us all that. - -We can tell just by looking." -look on the bright side. you definitely have a future in scat-play. -omg that hairless cat is so cute chilling with you 😻 -You looking at me??? Hey hey hey I'm over here. Pick an eye and focus -Lady Blah Blah -The way you look... I can't top that! -It's not cheating. The goats aren't supposed to be fucking you in the first place. It's better that they are with their own kind now. -"Even if you post it 5 more times, your huge ego will never get hurt enough to make you stop." -"Your Cat's Bold Like Your Man's Choice. - - - -And You're Beautiful, Sorry For Everything❤️, Those Are the Words The Grinch Has been told to but Not You. - - -:)" -Seems like you had a long ass day huh? -So many camera angles... so many pics. You look the best when you are the furthest away. -You need a snack -Scared the fur clean off of that poor cat and it's still a nicer lookin pussy than yours i bet. -you never fully recover from eating disorders. You're fucked -You look like an 8th grade self portrait had come to life -so THIS is what Sssniperwolf has been doing after all that drama -"Even though your broke, you still wouldn’t create an OF or do sexual favors for money, because you think you’re too “classy” for that. Even though when you get drunk or high, you’ll gladly become a cum dumpster for the next tatted up alcoholic wannabe at the bar." -You flat as hell on both sides -"eating dick isnt a disorder, just ask your dad uncle or what ever family pet your mom fucked to make you look like that." -You didn’t have to use the green face pack to look scary -Eat a sandwich girl -More forehead than ass -I can’t tell where your ass starts and your back begins -I bet you fart a lot -You just seem like every other 21f out there today -Even the cat is disappointed -I didn’t know calf muscles could stretch all the way up the legs and connect directly to your back -You’re such a disappointment. I can see why your man and your father both left you for better options. -I kept having to scroll up and look at your pictures because I immediately forgot what you looked like -She on that new drug… Noassatall -you're gorgeous ✨ -Little in the middle but she ain’t got back. When I have a job meets I have a gender studies degree -"She has Micheal Jackson’s gender identity issue, she identifies as a HEE HEE" -just went thru the slideshow i can see why he cheated -Even your cat is judging you -I guess your lips were not big enough…. -You had me at goat herder -Poster child for “I can fix her” -Looks like I have no need to say shit your life already did it for me 💀 -This kids is why you don't pick Amy Winehouse as a role model -Built like plywood -That cat is really looking at you like “do you know what your getting yourself into?” -Bold of someone to actually commit to dating this 😂 -You look like if billie eilish had a dumbass twin: billie eyelash -I've seen poorly drawn stick figures with nicer bodies. -Hunny you need a fucking hug -"""Sleeping on my friends floor currently"" - -Oh good, you know your place." -"You look like the skeleton girl from the nightmare before Christmas with skin. - -Also praying your life improves youngster! You still have a glow to you despite your life’s brutal situations!" -"Well, I’ve got nothing to say, but the goats think you’re overweight and a disappointment in bed. - -…just like your parents and your ex." -"You look like ur onlyfans is free... ( i actually feel bad lol, you do you gurl!)" -It’s a shame bc your work was really great in The Exorcism of Emily Rose -Dogs like ‘ bitch did u say roast beef ? ‘ -You look like johnnys plank from Ed Edd and eddy -"Fuck roasting, I've just split up from my wife and am trying to get a flat, you can come and live with me if you want... - -I'll probably even marry you straight away, we'll, as soon as my 2nd divorce comes through." -Best Pic was the Martian facial you took! -"Monica. don't be delusional. It's not ""cheating"" if he is married to the other woman and he has a restraining against you." -With those thighs you should get back on the eating disorder -That gummy bear is as empty as you are -Cross between an e-girl and my dead ex -"This isn’t a roast just the best advice anyone could ever give you in particular, start doing Pilates asap" -Will you marry me -girl i'll date u mwah -My typa girl -Marisa No-wei. -Built like an iron board but half the personality. -"So skinny, she sticks her tongue out and she looks like a zipper." -"How cool, the new season of 13 Reasons Why is coming out!" -Saw corpse bride once -Looks like you said LMAO one too many times and your ass took it personally! -Have fun getting your ass beat by some fat-fuck butch in two months. -You look like the mutant offspring of a fentanyl and cocaine fueled one night stand between Aubrey Plaza and Cristin Milioti -I can save her🫡 -7th photo looks like you could be a Michael Jackson from wish. You look like it I was to blow you would fly off in the wind. When eating that rose it was the first protein you had in 2 years. -Honestly nothing to roast you on your really pretty -Got a Michael Jackson nose and I'm pretty sure I can smell you through the phone -"Cats looking like ""how the fuck did my shit get out of the litter box""" -Only Travis Kelce could appreciate an ass that flat. -Oh my god I wanna roast your cat actually -If you were placed horizontally in that power rack you could be mistaken for a barbell. -The pic with the goats melt my heart. Goats are very cute creatures and I love them so much. I had a goat when I was a kid and he always ate my outdoor toys but I didn't care. If my hoa would allow it I would have like 3 goats in my back yard and never pay to get my lawn mowed 😭 -You look like you serve roast beef sandwiches hands free. -"You like a line of cocaine. Thin white, and I don’t want to do you. Guess me and your ex have something in common." -I looked for heroine puncture points on your arm and found them on your chin instead -comment -The only reason people date you is because they want to meet Chris Hansen -"You look like you're cosplaying as a high school student rather than actually working at a ""new job"". Does said job pay per client or by the hour?" -You look like you squeak with each thrust. -"Stop playing around doing roasts, the restaurant isn’t going to run itself" -Your job definitely isn’t valet or parking cars. -“You’re hot”. Or “I’m proud of you.” -You stole those glasses from a special needs kid. -I bet your new job blows. -Nice Japanese schoolgirl outfit for your online “Jackoff “ business. -Do you tuck your cock to the left or the right? -i don’t roast 12 yr olds -"""I'm gonna cum""" -You are bad at math. -Showing your butthole to strangers isn’t a real job -"26 and dress like a Japanese schoolgirl? I have a feeling your list of waifus is longer than your resume. Even if you got transported to an anime world, you’d still be a background character" -Is that a purity ring? -You look like you’re not allowed around peanut butter anymore -Temu Britney Spears -Is your new job haunting the toilet at Hogwarts -"I didn't realize it was your first day when I saw you at ""Lucky massage"" earlier. Should've said something." -"“Hey everyone, that’s my daughter!”" -These sex dolls have become more and more lifelike ..almost looks real .. -You look like a flight attendant in a shitty porno. -...that you haven't heard before? You're 13. -"My man, what’s your skin conditioner?" -That’s a dude. -"Say something you haven't heard before 🤔 -""Can I get your phone number?""" -"Hey, great job, today! Thanks for being a valued employee!" -You did a great job today come back tomorrow -"Hey, you're taller than me!!!" -talk to me when doctor! -Harry Potter gender bend New job at a Boba Cafe looking ass -"You look like my Japanese sex doll, after it's been left outside during a hurricane." -Let's go out again -A blow job doesn't count as a job. -I hate you because my boyfriend would masterbate to you -Who knew Harry Potter went trans? -"Posting on Reddit from the Casting Couch, I see." -I can't roast you because you are barley 13. -"I approve of your life accomplishments - -- Dad" -"""Krieger-dan, my cherry blossoms are waiting!""" -"So, you’re the newest member of Babymetal?" -What's your new job? Bait girl on To Catch a Predator? -"Do guys pay you to ""lip off"" your panty hose?" -New job? Ohhh you mean your playing pretend ok good for you -"Something your parents have never said to you. ""I love you""" -"Very proud of you, Sweetheart. You're doing great." -Middle school isn't a job -You look so unique in those glasses and that hairstyle. -Look like a trans Harry Potter. -"say something you havent heard before...hmm...ah okay i got it. - -""Im proud of you, daughter.""" -"Even those glasses can hide the great divide, which are your eyes." -So many jealous peeps in here nothing positive! Congrats on new job -Why are you dressed like a 6 year old? Is that a thing? -"“Ohhhh, me so ho-nay! Me love you long time! Me sucky sucky!”" -"If we lift up your anime skirt, this will be shota, I'm sure." -“Your grades are good enough” -Tagger name of SubparEnding69 -"I'd say you probably haven't heard ""nama nakadashi"" before in your job, but who am I kidding?" -The smartest thing in this picture is the tie -When I look at you I don’t think uwu just eww. -I got put on a watch list just for clicking this -POV:How the average isekai side character looks -"No, this isn’t Lisa and I’m not interested in a work from -Home job paying 3500 a week" -"alright, we all going on some type of FBI watchlist for viewing this" -I bet you prey on guys with an Asian girl fetish. -you're 26 but can't stop wearing the school dress in hopes that someday you'll look sexy in it -That’s great you got a new job! You haven’t let that extra chromosome hold you back. Way to go! -"I'm in Pattaya now, I think I saw you at a Soi 6 bar." -What's the job? Secretary to a tentacle monster? -"Dressing like you’re auditioning for a reboot of a high school drama at 26? Bold choice. It’s like your career advice came from “Clueless” and you took it as a personal style guide. I’m not sure if your new job is in fashion or babysitting, but you’re definitely keeping people guessing. Also, those glasses? Giving major “professor by day, e-girl by night” vibes, but hey, who says you can’t multitask?" -"When you message people for the first time, they automatically assume you are really a Nigerian scammer just using your photos." -Are you ready for your 2nd single and alone Christmas? -"When I was growing up, my sister had a pair of frilly socks that give off the same vibes as you. This is a very unfortunate thing. From now on, I shall refer to you exclusively as ""frilly sock girl""." -Damm what JAV tag are you going to be? -Congratulations on your new job at Hogwarts! -Her new job consists of fucking her dad to pay rent then crying herself to sleep on her hello kitty pillow -You're beautiful -"Not a roast, but that’s a legit tie." -When you order Hermione off wish -Sits in weather ballons to spy on South Korea -Are you going to a K-pop concert or did you just come back from one? -You’d look great on the side of a Civic. -You mostly hang out with nerds because they worship you. Normal people find you annoying. -You'll be on top in no time -"New job, new thirst, on Reddit she dives, -Fishing for likes just to feel alive. -Dressed like a character no one quite gets, -A real-life anime queen of regrets." -How can I acquire you -You look like I could buy you out of a Tokyo vending machine -Quit taking photos on Reddit and get back to the library so I can check out my books. -She cosplays as someone interesting -This looks like a picture that the FBI found on the computer of someome who's going to prison for a loooong time. -Looks like you stole a pair of John Lennon's glasses -All the electricity powering the internet weighs the same as an apricot.😜 There you go -You look like the spawn of Cthulhu and Haruka Ayase. I’m sure you’ve never heard that before -"You look like you'd be on a Disney show, but not the main character, you'd be a backup there to make the MC look better by comparison" -Get back to class. Your kindergarten class supposed be making Christmas trees with dried pasta. A gift for Mommy and Poppy. -"Those round glasses? Sure, they scream “quirky librarian vibes,” but paired with that schoolgirl-inspired outfit, it’s more “trying to relive high school anime dreams” than actual grown-up chic. And that soft purple lighting? We get it—you’re going for a dreamy, ethereal look, but it’s honestly just giving “budget K-pop MV filmed in a bedroom.” - -And the expression? It’s like you’re halfway between a wink and a “this is my cute face,” but darling, cuteness doesn’t have to be forced. Keep trying to serve that kawaii energy, though; maybe one day you’ll convince someone besides yourself that you’re the real deal." -Don’t forget to put my ketchup heart on my Omurice. -The tie goes inside the vest. And congratulations on the new job! -"You look like an anime girl whose boss at her first job is so nice to her until that night when she's working late and discovers her boss is actually a demon. - -A tentacle demon." -"“Good job, you’ve made me a proud father”" -U go gurl! -What’s your job softening fabric? Bc you look kind of downy. -"I'm sorry, but OP is so stinking cute, I just want to dip her in my coffee! -Sorrynotsorry--good java is the only kind of roast I can give her right now." -Your average bronze overwatch player that needs to be boosted to silver. -You used to hiss at people in the school hallway didn't you -"Is ""ah ichy ni san ah arigato"" your fav sound on tik tok?" -"Oh, so you're an e-girl? The kind that treats *every* selfie like it’s auditioning for a Hot Topic ad, with just enough filters to turn a Renaissance painting into a Snapchat masterpiece. You’re rocking that ""I'm mysterious but definitely not"" vibe, with anime cat ears, pastel hair, and an attitude that says, “I'm edgy... as long as my Wi-Fi holds up.” - -Your wardrobe is like a virtual collage of fishnets, oversized hoodies, and neon chokers—all carefully curated to look like it took zero effort. In reality, you spent 45 minutes trying to make sure your eyeliner was perfectly asymmetrical, only to caption the pic, “Oops, just rolled out of bed.” Right. Because I’m sure you sleep in those five pounds of glittery blush and lip gloss. - -Let’s be real, you’re on Twitch whispering, “Thanks for the dono, UwU” to dudes whose idea of romance is watching you play *Valorant* while they send “simp” as a compliment. The only thing thirstier than your follower count is the amount of time you spend giving the camera that ""I'm not like other girls"" look. But here’s the twist—you *are* like other girls. Just with a different color scheme and more heart emojis. - -So keep collecting those Twitch subs and posting those “accidentally perfect” selfies. You’re the Mona Lisa of e-girls: cryptic, captivating, and probably judging me just as hard as I’m judging you." -"Hands must be really soft yet callused all at the same time from the massage oil and handjobs being done at the new job. -Just watch out for carpal tunnel .... -Guys would have love the uniform" -*jerking it* -Me love you long time -you don’t look generic at all so unique -You’d be an ugly white man -I want to motor boat those giant titties -You look like Turk from Tarzan -"Yes we get it you like anime and hate the sun, get a real hobby." -You look like a maid cafe host but with benefits. -So I got a tutor and an anime girl -"""I love you"" but serious" -"You mean like, how you look like Moaning Myrtle... and your shag-worthy?" -Is your new job the actor for the rip off Japanese version of never been kissed? -This is clearly not an adult. Fucking christ kids. -"It seems like the new job is all about publishing paywalled content and chatting with subscribers. So basically, I'm a digital bouncer at the VIP club of ""information"". ""Sorry, no entry unless you can cough up the cash!"" And I guess my side gig is being a professional chatterbox—because who knew small talk could cost so much? 🤣😂" -"Another one straight off the line at the OW/VAL playing e-girl DDLG factory. Shift’s over, we can go home lads." -26?!?......shit. -Does your job involve eating bats? And selling DVD's? -"""I love you.""" -Your 26?? Damn I must be 18 -"So the John wanted a “school girl” experience, huh?" -New job the new guy she gave a blowjob too -Wanna go another round? -26? Are you old enough to even drive? -"You have such delicate, small hands" -you look like a female that I’ll never meet not because you’re not in my area or in my league because they won’t let you out of that sweatshop you work -Did it hurt when daddy spanked you? -No -New job is a funny way to say comfort girl -Cute glasses. -Good job -What is the address of the new job? I could use a table shower. -We'll truly know when we see what's underneath. -Something you haven’t heard before? “I love you “ -You are cute for a dwarf? -Hello Pity Kitty -Was it a blow job? -You aren't that ugly. -You forgot to write below before job. -"""I'm proud of you.""" -"You look like something that would come slopping out of my ass after binging on Taco Bell, beer and Mountain Dew for 2 weeks straight" -“You’re pretty”. -"Hey, beautiful, I'm glad you're home." -As your dad I'm proud to call you mine -Your parents saying: I love you. -Does your new job have a casting couch? -26 months old is to young for you to work in our country -I'm proud of you. Bet you haven't heard that before. -"Here’s something you’ll never hear from your new boss: - -“This is the last time I’ll ever make you do this, I promise.”" -I want to Moon a Sailor -"Something you haven’t heard before? - -How about, “Can’t wait to see you again”?" -Was it your job to work a Harry Potter convention? -Did you love them long time with happy ending? -You get carded a lot for alcohol I bet. -Not 26. -You look the reject from a porn movie -She's not even trying the sexy school girl thing. She just hasn't graduated yet. -You stink you fucker -"""I love you.""" -Are you paid to be a npc at an anime convention? -nice rack -You look like the porn I beat my dick to. -"Something you haven't heard before...""You're attractive!""" -What grade are you in -The cosplay Cafe you work at is really classy. -"Father: ""I just want you to know, I'm proud of you."" - -That's probably a new one for you." -Hand or blow? -You have a personality. -"""One day , I'll take you away from this Wendy's dumpster""" -Mommy and Daddy are proud of you…. -"When's your next job? Just so you know young woman, sucking dick in a telephone booth does not make you a call girl!!" -"Does the new ""job"" require that you give happy endings?" -U look pretty -stop tickling -someone got bored posting regular OF content... -Your tie is crooked -"Oh honey, ""new job"" but same filter, I see. Giving us all cute but professional, like you're interviewing to be the CEO of a stationery store. The aesthetic is ""soft girl,"" but I'm getting the vibes of someone who’s just one iced matcha away from a minor existential crisis. Those glasses? Iconic. They scream “I read manga and call it literature.” And the whole ""say something I haven't heard before""? Babe, it’s like challenging the internet to be more original than your collection of pastel scrunchies. Keep slaying, though—just know we're all here waiting for the transformation from kawaii to chaotic." -The first temu asian i have seen. This post Covid world is awful. -"“Honey, you are so sophisticated that any company would be happy to have you.” -—-mom" -Good girl -Your eyes always make you look surprised. -Getting a late start as a kink escort. -Im proud of you -Selling your panties isn't a job. -Very useable -"Gross. Seriously, everything about you is just… ew." -Looking for a green card at each dong -"Extremely sexual but you dress like a grade schooler. - -It's like you get a kick out of being the bait for predator YouTube channels" -"Something you never heard before? ""Can I get your number?""" -Something you haven’t heard before?…. You’re beautiful -"""That's a really good tuck job""" -I think I saw that pixelated movie. -"OF isn't really a ""job""." -put a sea cucumber into your sleeping father’s mouth -"You clearly never heard ""i'mProud of you son"" prolly one of the reasons why you become femboy" -What do you want to feel worse than you did a few hours ago with your boss? -Pretty sure that a 10yr old buy -“Something I haven’t heard before.” -"You are so adorable that most guys who like you will be too intimidated to ask you out. - -Boom! Roasted." -"Is your new job, Hand?" -There’s better ways to get dick pics. -"""Could you actually give me a sad ending?""" -I’m your father and you make me proud. -Something you haven't heard before? Ok... I love you from your parents. -You’re a rejected amine character that got scrapped and picked up by the janitor. -Something you haven’t heard before: a guy genuinely saying he’d like to go on a date with you! -"First day of job orientation and your tie is out. So, what bathroom stall did your lesson begin? You look like a backup dancer for the Chinese tiktok video about a Role playing Game - Soramafuurasaka (song name)." -"You dress like an anime character, but in real life, you’re just the sidekick in everyone else’s story. That ‘new job’ is probably trying to pay off all those manga fantasies you’re never going to live out." -"""Something you haven't heard before" -You look amazing. -You're beautiful -"You're a lot more fun when you're not dressed as a girl, Tommy." -Your dad saying “ I love you “ -She does of I can tell. By job she means selling bath water. I almost forgot her crush. She likes kpop boy bands. -I respect you -You have a look only incels would like. -Have you seen my cat? -Her “new job” was the trick she just pulled. -Your beutiful (you said something you never heard before) -"You look 13. - -Just don’t put up any personal videos, you’ll put men in prison for 3 minutes of shame." -Is this your first grade picture -marry me? -I am 100% certain you identify as a cartoon character. -Nice fake stupid non-prescription glasses -Was the job impersonating someone on the Hogwarts Express? -Proud o‘ ya -Say something you have never heard before? “I think you’re cute and I’d love to date you” -Is your new job porn? -"since you have the glasses for it, how does pluto look?" -I love you -"""yes, you do satisfy me"" - every past, present, future employer and lover." -You are welcome at this home. -We're glad you're our daughter. -Hentai porn only fans -If you got time to lean you got time to clean. Get back to work. You're not being paid $2/hr to be lazy -Avada Kedavra! -"Is your new job at happy ending message parlor? How much for the sucky sucky? -Where can I find your “a la carte” -Menu?" -Where's your sister Fook Mi? -I call top -New job as the stripper that only creepy middle-aged men order? -Me wub you wong tiime -"""Blowjob"" ain't a job." -"You say you just got back from a new job, but it looks like your real calling was posing as the ‘Before’ picture for a tutorial on how not to take selfies." -Just know that the men who date you will eventually end up in a registry... -I’m proud of you. -Doink! -"Tell me, was it a hand job?" -I see hogwarts let you out early…ala ka beezille ala ka zamm im going to stretch out your butthole…i had something for this…fuck it anal!! -"FBI, open up!!!!! Okay, now that's out of my system...." -I love you. -You look like if I'm too mean you'd call me a baka -You look like you’re on the cover of an Anime everyone skips -"A Baloo is a bear, to wuzzle is to mix." -Something I haven't heard before. -"Long-distance boyfriend number 13 isn't going to be the one, either." -Some people prefer a cucumber better pickled -Thanks for coming back taoday -Doesn’t that violate child labor laws? -I refuse to roast you because I don't want to be put on some FBI watchlist. -Hermione Hoang Duk Granger -my dildo is so spiky and it is 12 in long -You belong in an anime series of some kind -“I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends.” -Huh. Could have fooled me. You look like you lurk r/teenagers for fashion advice. -You could be a lady boy.. hmm -"I respect you, I’d like to hear what you have to say" -Are you missing a chromosome or two? -"Something you never hear.....""dad's home""" -“I love you.” - Dad -"You know those Japanese anime stories where they have a woodland spirit that’s half human and half pig, well that’s you except you’re half pre pubescent teen and half pig. Like an awkward teenage pig spirit that spends its time nosing through books while sniffing out truffles on the forest floor" -It looks like you travelled all of Japan to listen to insults but they ran out. -"You didn’t get enough validation from mommy or daddy so you had to go to TikTok with cosplay thirst traps, but clearly you aren’t getting any validation there either that you have to beg to be roasted for just a smidgeon of attention." -"You’re generic, but being Asian isn’t even the full reason." -"What is worse: the roasts in this thread, or your parents' disappointment with you?" -"You’re prettier than you think you are, and not as pretty as others tell you." -Can I buy your panties? -nice work -You are old enough to get drafted in to the military and you won’t have that smile on your face…. If things were equal. That’s just a guess though. -I want that special special with my massage -I know u put 26f on ur application but aren't there child labor laws that make an employer verify your age? -We encourage people sleeping their way to the top ! -You look like the wank sock of a fat middle aged sex tourist -That’s actually 36. -You mean 16? -"""I'm proud of you.""" -You look like you have no idea that there's more to sex than sticking out your tongue and drooling. -Do you have plans to haunt a toilet at Hogwarts? The sound of you crying has got to drive people insane. -Does your dad acknowledge you as his daughter or pretend you're not there because he wanted a son? -You're beautiful and loved. Your parents are proud of you and so are your friends. -"""Let's go out on a date"" I'm sure you've never heard that" -"“You make your father proud” - -“We value your input” - -“I can’t wait to introduce you to my family” - -“You’re here for your brains” - -“You’re not the reason your father and I split” - -lol so many ways to go 🤣" -These trans women are getting better and better looking every day. -im proud of you -"You look like you got beaten nearly to death with a stack of manga. Did that ""new job"" require you to ""look up at me and swallow?""" -The only thing that’s more tired than your aesthetic is that smile trying to convince yourself that’s everything is ok -You look like you say “Like and Subscribe” instead of saying “thank you”. -I'm proud of you. -When you get roasted which delicious regional cuisine does it smell like? -Daughter..I'm so proud of you -Dressing like you’re 12 when you’re well into your twenties would explain why you’re still single. Major red flag. -You look like the teen titans theme song -Shih Tzu - Art of Yap -Fugly AmiYumi -The word Rice said correctly by any member of your family -Divorce Bait... I suppose that's a compliment -"""Say something I haven't heard before"". - -I love you..." -You wouldnt survive ukraine -If I phuck u long time was a person. -Omg. You’re beautiful! 🤩 -"Police investigators, please. You've gotta do better than Reddit for baiting surely?" -"When drowning the human body well actually fight against drowning for a good minute before it actually just gives up and let the water flow into your lungs, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN 💀💀💀" -You just look absolutely unreasonable... 😡 -Is your coochie also slanted? -You look like you sell your bottled farts to lonely guys on the internet -You look like a product of cultural appropriation -"You look cute, how big is your dick?" -comment -You look like a carrot that never got watered. -"This is like a bad bucket of KFC. Lots of bones, no breasts & a large beak." -You haven't needed to buy a new bra since middle school either. -Let me guess: life coach that hasn't accomplished anything? Or your entire lifestyle selling jewelry at a farmers market is subsidized by your husband? -It looks like your body hasn't changed since you were 12 either. -"You’re every chick from high school who messages the girls she used to bully about taking part in your MLM… - -“Hey there, mama! Ready to be a boss babe?”" -Those laugh lines could swallow cities whole. -"Mirror, mirror on the wall, tell me which teacher touched me in the hall" -You look lie you are 14 and 40 at the same time. -Your chest peaked in 2nd grade. -You are less than half as good looking as you think you are. -Those hair extensions are older than you are. -"You look like you got those highlights and nose ring to be edgy, but your vanilla milk toast ass just can’t pull it off for the life of you" -"“Hey Siri, show me images of an absolutely generic young white woman who rates a strict 5.0”" -I feel like you're the customer that makes the baristas fight about whose turn it is to serve you. -Sorry a cups. I got nothing. -Your style and tits haven't changed since then either I can see. -OMG!!! It's Sid the sloth. I loved you in Ice Age. -"Well, the good news is, you'll never have to tell a guy, ""My eyes are up here.""" -Looks like a casual meth user -You look good for 43. -You look like your gonna settle -All the curves of a cybertruck and somehow less style -You say those roasted peanuts been in your bra since middle school! -Half breed ginger doing her best to hide those freckles. -I bet you’re really good at keeping secrets with those tight lips. -You look like your OnlyFane is a GoFundme page -"Full on trailer leaning off its blocks, naty lite cans everywhere, and a rusted out ‘76 Camaro on blocks in the driveway, vibes. I bet you’re the Queen of the trailer park aren’t ya. Bless your heart." -I think OF accounts and XXX sub posters should not be allowed on /r/roastme -You look like a hick auditioning for jersey shore. -I reckon you’re one of those horse girls? They all kinda look the same. -What time does your top lip arrive? -You know roasted doesn't mean touched right? Cuz I can believe you haven't been touched since middle school -Funny enough your tits were the same size back then -"Pretty sure you got split roasted recently, just not the type of roasting you were looking for" -You look like you brag about only dating black guys. -Not to your face at least. Id bet that you were roasted at all those parties you didn’t get invited to. -Your whole Fall diet consists entirely of pumpkin spice. -"Wait wait, I'm sorry but ""roasted"" doesn't mean molested by a gym teacher" -Haven't changed since middle school either. Still got a little boy body. -You’re alone in all of your pictures because no one wants to be seen with you huh? -Unrealistically happy -Looks like your tits didn’t graduate middle school either -Reece Wither-poon -29 and still prolly get asked about a senior discount at grocery stores -When was middle school yesterday? -"The embodiment of ""basic plain white girl""." -That’s because you’re friggin gorgeous! As long as I squint…and look at something else. -Butter her face without the butter -Publicly and socially inept related to exaggerated self worth as evidenced by endless Hallmark television viewing. -You could have supported your breasts with just positive feedback -if eyebrow blindness was a person -I wouldn’t fuck you with a stolen dick and someone else pushing. -At least those insanely thin eyebrows match your frame. -It’s like if a sleeve of saltines became sentient. -This is the only SFW post you have -Mrs. Pilgrim -When you order Christina Applegate from Temu -You look like Angelica‘s doll from Rugrats turned lesbian -Looks like a dollar store step-ford wife in training. -I hope your personality has grown since middle school because by the looks of that rack you're gonna need it. -User name checks out -Yes you have -I don't think there's a big enough paper bag for you -Hawk Boo-a -Chintzy barista who never gives you a full cup of coffee. -"A little makeup, green hair dye with a purple jacket and you’re there." -I guess there is a correlation between low estrogen and low self-esteem. -Her parent bought her those teeth after she kicked the ice. Let's see those choppers in 2 years.. -Rogue lite -"The 90s called, they want their eyebrows back" -It took me like a minute to figure out if I know you or not. There's like a dozen girls that look like you per square mile. -I think you you forgot the word spit in this post. -Probably need to get your hearing checked then -Definitely lives for situationships and making grown men cry -"I don’t know what’s thinner, your lips or your eyebrows." -This is not 29F. Looks more like 1A -I think it's TOTALLY fine that you haven't moved out of your hometown. I hope you and your high-school boyfriend husband are doing well -So it’s been 6 months -Your chest hasn’t grown since then too -"You have the figure of a pine wood 2x4 from Home Depot- flat, pale, sprinkled with a touch of scoliosis." -you're the CSI:SVU extra nobody wanted -My type. Trust me.. thats no bueno -A few months ago I saw a girl with an Ouija board tattooed on her back. Today I saw a girl born with one on her front. -Tits haven't done anything since middle school either. -Haven't been roasted since middle school because you still haven't graduated from middle school? -No one ☝️ has cared enough about your pathetic existence to give you any thought 💭 let alone to roast you… -"There's a lot on your body that hasn't happened since middle school, either." -Haven’t been roasted since middle school…more like your tits haven’t grown since middle school. Gawd damn surf board has more curves than you -Is your torso ambidextrous? You can’t tell your chest from your back -Back ground is ratchet she should be holding a sign thst reads: will do anything for a $20 lol -Nice try sir. -I bet you always smell like you just came from outside. With that being said I would gladly stare at every contour of your tailbone until you were done crying. -Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. -Your bra is for moral support. -I know where my next pair of boots are coming from. That fake sun turning you into leather -You look like you can’t take a 5 minute shower without getting lightheaded -"You havent been roasted. - -Your onlyfans says otherwise." -"Is this a sex game you play with you husband, he lets a bunch of randos have thier way with you? Eat a sandwich" -When you smile there is a vague inkling that you are about to to yark up a goldfish that you swallowed live earlier on in the show. -You look like the girl who in high school let the entire football team gåиgßāñg her in the locker room after the homecoming game… -I doubt that -Cool to see that Trevor Wallace went through with the sex change.. -Haven been touched by a guy since middle school either -and it shows you look too comfy being yourself -"You look like every ""girl next door,"" on heroin! Keep a narcan close love." -"You try to hide your nose with the camera position, but you could smell that its of no use" -Yooo- that giphy of the towel and Dolph- I almost dropped my phone!!!! -"You are very pretty but you look exactly like my former GF, so you're probably super into showtunes" -Is this sub anything other than girls trying to gain insta or onlyfans followers? -Look like the type of person to turn moist critical to dry stable. -The phrase “Plan B” has left your lips more than an American commander in Vietnam -If nothing else your transition is going great. -"You have ""twice a year on our anniversary and your birthday, if you're lucky"" energy." -I see you have the same tits from middle school too! -Seems like the body hasn’t changed since middle school either.  -You look like the sister Blake Lively doesn’t like talking about -Your eyebrows look as if a cartoonist drew them on then he was like fuck it let's do the lips too -That's the distinct lips-tight-together smile of a girl who will let you give her a facial but doesn't like cum in her mouth. -"Well, at least you dont have to buy bras. So thats nice at least" -"Has every chance to date a dude who treats her right, but dates the bad boy" -You look like my dog dick🤣🤣 -Spelling errors on top of a backwards paper… they forgot to give you brain cells when they were handing them out huh?😭😭😂 -I wouldn’t fuck that with a vaccinated crowbar -I think your hot! No need to roast! -You look like the type of girl that wasn’t attractive in high school and carried that weight until you were 25 and finally got into shape however now you realize that you were never in shape when you were young and now at the burbled age of 29 you desperately want people to validate that you’re good look but you know that you’re old so you don’t want to be super obvious about it so you go to a roast me section expecting people to not have anything bad to say but trust me we have nothing good to say either. -I feel like I'd actually have a chance at dating this one -Hawk Tuah five years and three stints in rehab later -Your chest is still in middle school -Definitely got a bush -Is middle school when your chest stopped growing? -Why your lips thinner than your eyebrows 👀 -A wooden plank has more curves than you. -"Your future kid: ""how can you breast feed me mom, you got no tits!!""" -"OK, you win. No way to roast the most fabulous creature to ever exist. 👏" -Looks like a good cum dump for me. -You should be on the new smile movie -Got to love the fishing for compliments people do on here -Thousand percent she still calls her dad daddy -10 out of 10 would split roast you! -Bet you were pretty back then -Sunken Chesticles -Probably because no one's noticed you since middle school -I can almost smell the divorce and child support lawsuits -The only thing flatter than your chest is your personality -Roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back? -Maybe not roasted but definitely basted by several dudes every weekend since. -did you drop out on 9th grade? -No matter the angle you still win by a nose -The fact you are still keeping track of things from middle school is a roast in itself. -I'd tell you a joke that'd knock your tits off but it looks like you already heard that one. -Totally a dike! -This roast was sooo fun thank you for playing! also couldnt reply after getting banned so i got behind and now there are too many comments to respond to -"Damn you must never go out then, to look like that and not being roasted since middle school" -"I wasn’t going to, but then I saw picture five and remembered I’d seen you before, auditioning to replace Hugh Jackman in the next wolverine film. I bet you never need to wear long sleeves in the winter." -comment -Roast you? Step in to daylight and the sun will roast you. -Spider Man would've happily dropped you. -Tori Aimless -You look like someone set every character creation option to default -Your face is so flat you could bite a wall -"If you look deep in the eyes, you can see the empty space where the soul is supposed to be" -I doubt you even get invited to your own birthday party -"Oh my God I can’t believe you’re alone on your…. - -…ah, just kidding I totally believe you’re alone on your birthday" -You look like ham -"# ""26F. It's my birthday and I'm alone. Make it hurt."" - -No, thanks. Your cherry shall remain un-popped this evening." -It's no wonder you are alone with those eye implants -Nice fingernails Chewy. -Your fingers look like toes that have been repeatedly stubbed against a curb barefoot. -"Pale redhead not showing teeth, sounds like you might have two kinds of gingervitis" -Mrs. Potato Head got her shit all jumbled up. -you’re alone because you’re a ghost in human skin -You look like Ted Bundy had his way with your skull. -You have the face of a blowup doll for some reasons! -Are we allowed to post photos of murderers wearing their victim's skin as a mask? -You're such a big loser that on your birthday you need us losers to roast you just to feel like you exist -#Pippi Long-Clitoris -You look like an alien that wants to blend into humanity and failed miserably at his attemps. -"Folks think you are Dave Mustaine when younger, if female and still an addict. Basically totally crazy." -"Is ""make it hurt"" what you told the plastic surgeon?" -Kim Not-Possible. -"Whos soul are you taking on your ""BIRTHDAY""?" -What does a redhead miss at a party? An invitation. -"Damn you had a jump scare on number 2. Happy birthday, stop using a cup to make your lips bigger." -"Take care of that cold sore, it's quite off-putting." -No need to mention that you're alone.We know it. -"Woman! Roast you? The hottest thing in here is your fine looking ginger self. Happy birthday! - -Q: What do you call a woman who can slam a revolving door? - -A: A redhead. - -Q: What's the difference between a redhead and a terrorist? - -A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. - -Q: What do time and redheads have in common? - -A: They wait for no man. - -Q: What's the difference between redheads and whiskey? - -A: With prayer and effort, you can give up whiskey." -"Thank god for that gorgeous hair hiding the fact you look like genderswapped Baron Harkonnen under there. Also your face looks so plastic and emotionless I’m surprised they didn’t call you for the M3GAN sequel. - -Happy birthday 🎂" -"Single mom alone on her bday? - -Ginger? - -Resting bitch face? - -How much more hurt do you want! Get on a dating app, sure you can find a train of guys to hurt you more and make you cry by the end. - -And you will still be alone at the end as well." -Happy birthday! Forgot to filter out the herpe on your lip 👄 in pic 1️⃣ -"I tried to think of a roast, but it sucks celebrating your birthday alone, I just hope you have a good day :/" -Does alphagingie have a dingy? -You're much cuter with the lights out -"I'm pretty sure you'd need a soul for it to hurt. Nice try, I'm onto your ginger tricks." -"Get used to it... - -Being alone." -A ginger with a face like that. Get used to being alone. -You have dead doll eyes -"When folks say, “don’t stick it in crazy” it’s you they’re talking about" -You're eyes really make the red sores on your lip pop. -"Ah, celebrating the day humanity rejected you" -I have seen mannequins with more life and emotions. -Do you only bite your fingernails or toenails too? -In some fucked up way you remind me of Michael Jackson. -Happy Birthday -Nah too pretty -you are the girl i fuck before i find true love -Happy birthday sweetie -I'm going to pretend to be shocked that you're alone on your birthday but between being that level of ginger and having that look of constipation its going to come across a little disingenuous...😱 -Gemma Farterton -You have a weird face.  -Not just alone.. but not a soul in sight. -I can smell the wee from here… -Bend over -"I can't... It is sad when anybody is alone on a special day or ocassion. Why do you ask to be hurt? - -Have some self love and do something special!" -You look like you’d smile in court hearings when they try you for murdering your kids. -"For the last time the manager isn’t here, take your soul steeling ass somewhere else." -🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 -"An emo redhead, well there's a psychotic break waiting to happen." -Ginger -Is that what you said to daddy? -"Carrie, if the only power she had was to make all dicks go limp" -Discount Amy Pond -"she doesn't have STDs, STDs have HER" -Your beautiful lol🙏 -"You’re ginger, being alone is something you need to get used to ………." -Your Rusting -"Dave Cumstain, lead singer of Megableah" -“Make it hurt”: name of your sex tape of you had a love life. -"You should be used to birthdays alone, and holidays, and weekends, and days that end in ""Day""" -I bet your perants wish they could replace you with a DEI hire just like Disney did with the Little Mermaid. -Tori Almost -They have male escorts -"You didn’t have to say you were alone. That’s a given, honey." -"Don’t go outside at night , that moon can burn in minutes" -You look like all your ex boyfriends are in little jars in your fridge. -Happy Birthday beautiful!! -id love to when and where? -"I'd definitely hit it. - -Not sex but like with a stick or something" -"I think i've seen you on cumtribute, without any comments." -A single mother with a failed marriage. Life has already roasted you enough. -Happy birthday from a fellow ginger. We’re the unicorns of the universe and we have to stick together. :-) -Paranormal sighting caught on camera. c.2024 -Love your freckles! -I remember you from the late 80's and early 90's Axel Rose. You put on some weight though -Your hot! -I can't roast you your too damn pretty -Why are you alone? 😭😭😭 -"The one thing you’re asking for, is the one thing everyone is happy to do to you. Make you hurt." -Make it hurt bend over -"""So, what makes you want to try porn today?""" -When someone uses a flash on their phone do you hiss at it? -You’re loved by more people than you know. -Sadie sinkhole -u look 15 -"You’re alone? I’m suprised you’re really attractive, but then that confirm’s that you’re probably a nightmare to be with…" -"I’ll go pic-by-pic. Pic #1: your model beautiful in this pic, but stop biting your nails. They’re not flattering. Pic #2: Your face looks like it went through a Star Trek teleporter, but they omitted “facial character“ when you re-energized in the new location. Pic #3: the filter and/or make up you used shows an inability to apply it. Pic #4: Your bangs are the length of my living room curtains. This is one case where I hope the curtains don’t match the drapes." -Want to spend it sitting on my face? -i literally can’t i feel too bad -Been tricking guys for 8+ years with filters -Resting Dumb Face -"Christians: ""There is a God!"" - -Atheists: ""Redheads."" - -Christians: *joins Atheists*" -"Some things in life will change over time. You will get wrinkles, go gray, etc. but the loniliness will never change." -Why were you crying if you have no soul? -You’re not alone. There has to be several personalities in there! -Was catering not good enough for you on Event Horizon that you ate your fingernails? -You’re the reason we have vampire hunters? -Heard gingers have no souls. Didn't know they don't have friends either. -You don’t look a day over 22. Extra points for being a ginger lady. But I guarantee you have several chairs or surfaces in your house with clothing slung over them so go pick that sh*t up -"Now i understand why everyone ""missed"" your birthday -Because of how ugly you are!" -Meat grinder man hands -"You hurt my feelings with your unexpressive face on your birthday. Geez, thanks." -You have a face that would make me spill a gallon of milk just so I could go out to the store and not come back. -You always look like you just got done crying. Or like you could cry at any moment. -"This bitch look crazy no wonder u alone, you look like u stab people in their nightmares 😭😂" -Your forehead deserves a “Your name here” advertisement and your eyebrows would like to segregate from each other. -With how much you need attention I can see why you would be alone. -"Aww, sweetheart.. you didn’t have to tell us you were alone in your birthday. We knew already.." -What's with the pictures of a baboons ass? This feels like borderline animal porn -Took a peak at your profile… I think life is doing a darn good job at roasting you day in and day out. -Discount Amelia Pond -why you look like Michael Jackson in the third picture lmao -"You're alone, a woman, and a ginger on top of that. Nature has made it hurt enough, i dont need to do anything else" -High cheek bone is an attractive trait. Not on your face tho -Can anyone here help me with a thumbs up. I need 10 Karma from a sub to be able to post a photoshop request for my son’s Halloween costume. I don’t want to post him on my main account so I created a new one but need a bit of history for them to let me post. Was hoping this sub could help get me there since I spend so much of my time here on my other account. How the hell did you comment from a new account these days when all the subs have minimum requirements?! -Just look forward to the future... when you'll be alone on your 27th birthday. -Well I can see you're from England. You guy's write your dates azz backwards -Looking ready to set the prom on fire -AHH….pick a direction!! -I'm too drunk for this. Is she kinda hot? Or am I just that drunk? -"The reason you are alone, is because red heads have smelly boxes, and no one is strong enough to wade through the smelly vagina stench to get to your party." -It’s cause you’re a ginger -Happy Birthday -Your face looks like a gummy fruit snack. -Get used to being alone -I see why you're alone -You’ll be alone after your birthday also -Happy birthday -Gingers smell like piss and don’t have souls -It's probably because of your mid looks and personality. -Every time she wakes up she's like 'someone once told me the grass is much greener/on the other side' 🎶 -Not even a pityfuck? Sad -Those two pictures without makeup are frightening -"OK be honest, did you spend more time selecting your lipstick than the entire rest of your outfit?" -You look like one of those insufferable dog moms that try to take their shit ankle biter everywhere but everyone has cut you off. -"PIC#3 how do you breath through that, nose? I've seen snakes with a better nasal system" -You hit the wall early. -nice try souleater. -"I can't make it hurt for i have no feelings, AND, i know you have no soul." -"... Judging by your looks, it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway" -"Nothing we say is going to hurt as much as -“##F. It’s my birthday and I’m still alone” will. -See you same time next year and the ones thereafter." -You know when they said gingers were soulless I didn't actually believe them until your first picture. -That wont be your last ride honey -"Well you are a ginger, do i need to say more?" -Someone shifted your avatar's mouth too low -Your favorite position is sitting at your desk and inventing a r*pe story.  -Not sure what’s the ugliest….your face or your puffy ass man hands? -It's the least favorite redheaded stepchild..... -"Huh? Roast? Oh right, yeah, I'm sorry I forgot you were there." -Your ginger not strawberry blonde -In the first pic it looks like you just finished a lip stretching exercise of some type… 🍆 -If Donna from 70s show was ugly and had the eyes of a soulless rodent -Alone? Whos that demon peeping through those eyes? -Show us your soul ginger. -Genuine question - do you read much? -Hey it’s nothing you did… it’s just no one wants to spend time with you. -This fire crotch temper is shorter than asians dick. -Can’t make it hurt anymore than the pain of your parents leaving you in a shopping mall toilet once they realised you were a ginger -El ser tan bonita y estar tan sola es el mayor insulto a tal belleza. -" -If I knew you I would have said to myself, she has a mind to spend her birthday alone... but wait, that's already the case" -Alone because the coven kicked you out and you haven't got any other freinds -You look like you cry with almost 0 provocation and that’s why no one likes spending time with you. -"Your Makeup Looks Like it was applied by a mortician. What i am saying is, the World already knows that you will have a closed casket funerals, and you haven't even aged yet." -You are 10/10 fuck you -"With make-up on you look like a cheap Russian prostitute and without make-up you look like a Sesame Street character.  - - -Happy Birthday Ginger Minger" -"Try taking a pic of a person, jot an object. Cant say much about something that looks dead" -No lube ���️ -"""It just knicked her"" - Shane Gillis" -"Awwww, poor soulless, why the long face?" -"Keep the makeup on, Nebula." -"You’re probably alone because you’re a bitch to everyone, I don’t blame you though. If I woke up like that everyday I’d be a bitch to" -How do you even get stretch marks around your mout…ohhhhhhhh. -I bet you like socks .  -How long have you been among the undead? -Are the teeth all fucked up too? You need to go back to the ginger store and re-roll. -Does it get tiring telling people you look like Tori Amos and not having a single person know who that is? -"Slidin your photos is like -quite ok, smashable, what the fuck is this, ah ok" -I never thought I could find a girl with freckles attractive after seeing you I definitely know I can’t -Your birthday is 31th of October. -Only Blands -"""make it hurt."" Lol. That's what she told her boyfriend, oops, no boyfriend." -You look like a Lucy Letby admirer. I would not feel safe around you. Sadist vibes. -I'm in love -"There's something about you that reminds of a baby seal, I'm just wondering how much clubbing it's gonna take to make you pretty." -"""Feminism"", made you alone, but don't fret, cats and whine boxes are right around the corner." -THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU! THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU! -Looking at you makes it obvious why your alone... -You look like you’re trying in vain to pancake make-up over the evidence of dating Chris Brown. -Being a girl and still being lonely tell how how much pathetic u are! -Discount Amy Pond who actually allucinated every time travel and adventure with The Doctor because he was just a shroom dealer who gave her some good shit -"your friends make it hurt, by not coming or not existing, pick your poison - -we just make lame jokes about girls looking like guys" -"If little ginger boys were my thing, you would be a stunner. - -Ps the sun's outside stand under it 💀" -If you read the comments while looking into the mirror it will hurt even more. -Did you fuck an ostrich? -You look like one of those blow up sex dolls that got thrown in the reject bin because the machine malfunctioned and made an abomination -These are four different people right? Right? -"My wife asked me to get my ginger daughter ready for her first day at school. - -So I punched her in the face and stole her dinner money! - -This definitely happened to this chick 😂" -And just another 50 to go! -You look exactly like the orange cat outside. -"Hey look, it's Cassie White." -Forest green outfits are wasted on you. -Well you are beautiful so if you are alone there is some sort of problem. -Your nose looks like its been wedged between two crashed cars. -Even your fingernails are cringing at your face and retracting back into your fingers -"No one is gunna text you are you sure there your friends , get ready for the oh sorry I didn’t get too yah on your birthday I was busy" -You look like the kind of chick that would get knocked up by her ex fiancees best friend 3 weeks after calling off the engagement -Being vegetarian isn't the reason you can't get any meat. -Chappell Ruin -You look like your a AI render -God looking at photos of you is actually the most boring thing I’ve done this year. -"Those cold dead eyes don't feel pain, nice try." -Most of these pictures are more than 5 years old aren’t they? -"Oh, what have you done that you are alone?" -You got a realy looooooong and round face xD -You look like odo from deep space 9 with a red hair wig. -"I don’t know. I hope you have a nice arse, at least that would be something positive and redeeming for you ❤️" -If axl rose and Dave mustaine had a child........it wouldn't be you. It would be talented -Ginger -Your a poor mans Anne of Green Gable -Cute! -"I tried to think of something, but you’re just too pretty. Happy Birthday. 🎈" -At least you have your horse to fuck around. I never see no horse spare a good carrot for a fuck. -"I feel really uncomfortable saying something mean. Just looking at you, id have to make something up that wasn't true, and then what if you believed it? I'd feel awful.. I don't want that. I'd rather be a part of something that made you feel better or at least ok." -Dollar store Aloy -let unc slide through -I’ve seen this video…she said the same thing to her stepbro while she was stuck in the dryer. -"Red on the head , like the d#&*k of a dog ! HA! Bet it’s the first time you heard that !" -Looking at pic 2 I think I nose why. -"nah. happy birthday, dude" -I thought this was the Emily Rose fan Page -Why should we waste our time roasting someone who has no soul? -"I can already tell you have no emotions, like Dexter Morgan. I’m going to have to put your fingers in a vise grip and squeeze. Then you’ll hurt. At least you won’t be alone as we livestream." -You are great Just continue -"Happy Birthday, beautiful." -I bet there's no thoughts behind those eyes . -"I would save your soul. But you know... - -you are a... - -gi... - -Gigantic nerd." -"Nearly 30, ginger and unmarried. Better dust off that fire crouch before you die alone." -It looks like you took skin from a girl and stretched it over a robot face. -"Your fingers look like Golums out of Lord of the rings, except you don't have a ring because no one wants a ginger." -You look like someone heated up your face and pushed down on your cheeks really hard. -Bot account -"Looking at those fingernails, I can see you haven’t been to the nail salon in like… Forever" -"Even your eyebrows look sad they can't escape your face. - -You look like the token ginger stepkid oh wait up" -Temu Nicole Kidman -"Dw people are still celebrating on your bday - celebrating their peace and quiet, that is" -You are jane doe of ginger people -You are more 30 than 20 -"Let's just say if you had a clitoris, would it have a lot of freckles also?" -Only thing your face is good for is target practice for facials -unrapeable -Thanks for curing my love of redheads. -"The redhead step-child no one wanted, of course you’re alone this day your parents forgot to pay the people to pretend to be your friends" -You overcooked the noodles on your pan. Use oil next time since you aren't even a butter face -You’re not alone I’m still single at the age of 26 -Dollar store Sissy Spacek -No soul and no friends -Are you Rocky Dennis' daughter? -Proof that’s it’s not cause you told all your « friends » about your birthday that anyone will show up. -You look like that Druid girl from Vox Machina -You aren’t worth making it hurt -Your ex said thanks for finally understanding it’s over. -what a ginger does when they want to high five a friend? They clap. -It won’t hurt as much next year. You should be used to being alone. -You look like Amy pond if she never met the doctor. :D -I mean with enough lube it wouldn’t hurt -You look like that creepy bitch Laura Loomer before she hacked her face up to look like a goblin. -It wont get any better as you get older -Pic number two - you look like a plucked chicken -"The eyes say soulless, but the hands say fishmonger." -What was it like writing Hangar 18? -Even insufferable males who refer to women as m'lady do not strike up a conversation with you. -Happy birthday! -"Just lile Nirvana sang, ""all my freinds are in my head""" -I bet you were even alone on the day you were born -"You look like chatGPT described a human female and that description was then given to an image generating Ai. -I’m still not convinced you’re real." -Tori Lame-os -You look 40 years old with makeup that's actually impressive -You look like you were supposed to look lively -Bullied in high school and ignored by all potential mates as an adult. Maybe the bullies were right. -"If only you were a day walker, you would still be alone on your birthday!" -"There's nothing wrong with you, but that's not saying much. - -Seriously don't take any of this too personally, it's not like you chose to be this way." -Get used to it -What’s your email I need a new spot to park my helicopter -"Happy birthday, cute face! Sorry no roast to hurt, u r too cute for that" -One of the cases where with little changes you could look so great but you choose this -Be kind to yourself. -Well do you see any reason to celebrate the day you were brought to this world? -Happy Birthday to you… said no one you care about -Whore-y Amos -Dollar store Amy Pond -I think you look hot in the last picture -"Well according to picture 4, even your hair is trying to dip out on your birthday" -The only thing that can Save you now is chemotherapy -"Happy birthday. -I'm surprised no-ones' put out your candle yet." -how many times have you broken your nose? -Cheer up! You only have to endure 5 or 6 more of these before the crushing loneliness finally becomes too much to bear. -"Just imagine your birthdays, if you would be an ordinary guy" -First of all take off that mask and face me like a man! -I bet your name is Windy... -Are you a witch? -"All pics are something, but the second one is special it looks like your nose is starting to melt down to your mouth 🫠" -I don’t know that Asians can be gingers too. -"When I look at you, I realize it’s not just evil that’s banal. I hope I don’t have to explain that to you, but probably will." -Don't want to spoil it - but you'll be alone forever -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->Absolutely insecure about my bald head, so please dont mention it. -> ->Went from 6 figure income to barely surviving. -> ->Burned bridges with most of my family members. -> ->Partner of 8 years hates my guts. -> ->Found out from my doctor my health is deteriorating quite rapidly. -> ->Losing all my savings at an alarming rate. -> ->It's a slow bleed, but I will eventually lose everything and I don't even care. -> ->Make me feel some emotions again, fam. - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Dwayne the wok Johnson -Man’s Built Like A Korean Turtle Without A Shell -When “Strip Club Bouncer” is your ceiling. -That’s what your wife said “I don’t feel anything” -Loved you in Austin Powers -"When you think no one cares, try missing a few payments" -Did you just notice what the roids are doing to your testicles? -No feelings ✅ that's just your survival instincts kicking in and preparing you to hit rock bottom. -I assume you throw a dress shoe at all of your problems -"Poor Oddjob, It was all downhill after Mr Goldfinger died" -"Yo man, as someone who is hitting his mid 30s, is in far worse shape than you, and also feels nothing anymore... you're better than that, and I think you know it. Shit gets real rough sometimes, and it's a fucking bitch. And we tell ourselves that the spiral is everything. We romanticize it and ride it to the bottom without giving a second thought, when in reality, we can and often do get off the ride down. Even if it's for just a second in our day for a positive thought/feeling, or for a whole day for some unexpected pleasure that shows us some light before we hop back onto the defeatist mentality. - -For what it's worth, you look like a super genuine person at (literal) face value, and I feel like your replies throughout this thread show that that is you. I've been through shit exes, shit family, shit friends, shit living situations. I've struggled with addiction, money, creating a life--social, professional, or otherwise.. you name it. I've become so fucking numb to it all til just this late night drunk moment. Even a post like this, you are still putting yourself out there and you know it and you will be fine, but you need to know that. Not necessarily all the time; just some of the time when you need to. I sincerely hope you remember that, and that you remember that your actions matter. This post and your comments made me reflect on my life and own emotions. Simply by doing something this small and from a low place, you can still make a difference. You made me feel something, man. - -And that something is disgust. Wear a fucking hat, baldie." -"Ain’t going to roast you my man. - -I’m going to say; chin up. You don’t look like a stranger to hard work. You look like someone who knows how to bust your chops to get what you want in life. You need to find that energy again my man. We all stumble in life; the winners keep getting up. - -Peace out ✌️" -"Shit man, youre the modern day Ghengis Khan! Get the fuck up and go take over the world!" -"Not fat, still round 🟠" -"Do your clients know you're in their bed, rather than working on their garden?" -There is a fear developed in your childhood which makes you try to please and impress to the point where you’ve poisoned yourself with steroids and a toxic personality that is focused on impressing people and craving attention. Get off the juice and go see a therapist and find out who you really are. Be well. -Your head looks like Wilson from Cast Away -Kung fu panda without costume -Kim’s inconvenience. -What gas station sushi and monster energy does to a mf -Have you considered being a Sumo wrestler? I hear Japanese women dig those guys. -Asian Humpty dumpty -At last you’re not one of the thousands of young girls on here thinking you desperately need a nose job 🤷‍♀️ -You’re buff as fuck bro. That takes a lot of hard work. I can never. I dream of having that gym work ethic of yours. Also haha bald -Sum Ting Wong -Avatar the Last tear bender -Dude that’s odd job. Never really heard what happened to him after bond beat his boss. -A baby on steroids -Mr Sulu if he took Roids -Dave Autista -Dude looks like he’s been assembled from three different people -Just let that fart out bro you look like you’re going to explode -Joe Son got out of jail? -You look like Abobo from Double Dragon on NES. -"You look like you stare at men with a full set of hair, then go home and slap your dick on a dresser out of envy. - -Jokes aside, you have a good shaped head for a bald guy. Own it. - -Also, get some help for your mental health issues." -"I know you said roast, but I can't help but compliment you, for you look like Shrek" -"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hairline" -"Nup, I'm not kicking a fellow human when he's down, all the best mate! 😉" -Get off the roids.. -"Keep moving forward dude. Sometimes we have to lose everything, to find out what's real again. 💪🏻🧠" -I have a feeling that you give the best hugs 🥰🥰. If I were there with you then definitely a hug from me -Man this makes me sad. Hang in there and make the best out of each day. We all feel these emotions eventually. -"Don’t be insecure about the bald head. It looks good on you. You don’t need roasting, you need a hug. Sending now. It’s gonna get better" -You look like the henchman in a Jason Statham movie -"I'm not here to roast (I know, I'm in the wrong sub). Hang in there, my man. Battle through these tough times and things will most certainly improve. We've all been there, it gets better." -You put the Asian in home invasion -"If your life is in a downward spiral, this is the last place you should be." -"Exercise more, spend more time outside, express gratitude for any positive thing, don’t subject yourself to negative thoughts. Minimize your screen time. You will feel better." -"Seeing that this is flipped / mirrored : - -You'll do great, man. Baldness comes for most of us and while you may no longer be able to comb or make stylish hairstyles, know that you now sport one of the most badass styles." -Those are some sad eyes man. Not even a roast. Get some emotional help dude. Blessings. -"Brotha what it sounds like is that you need a hug, not a roast" -I hope you find peace & wealth and also your hair -"-Sell all the guns and the unopened whiskey. - --Get into counseling with your partner, even if it means you can split more amicably. - --Downsize and look into bankruptcy. - --What is the health problem? - -The bald look is good on you. Quit worrying about that." -"""Ninja Vanish"" - -You got fatter since playing Tatsu in that movie, and you look drug addicted and jobless now." -What math problem do you look at for gym motivations? Algebra 2? Trig? Cant be pre-calc... You wouldn't even know what you're looking at in Pre-Calc -"I mean, at least you can grow your beard into you shoulders for a truly epic look" -Jason Mamada -Push Up for life. Lift yourself up and not just weights. -Jason mamada -Moana says thank you -Enter the Kumite and fight Jean Claude Van Damme. I have a feeling you would do well. -"You got the same expressive look on your face that my friend used to get sometimes. He ended up getting completely shitfaced one morning, passed out while taking a shit and choked on his own vomit. - - -At least you have that going for you?" -Looking like a broke ass Dave Bautista -The declining cat and dog population behind your family's restaurant is not the end of the world. -"Need some maintenance done, do you perform Random Tasks or Odd Jobs?" -You look like a protein powder box who has reached its shelf life. -You look like the dude in James Bond that throws shoes. -Too bad you missed Austin powers with that shoe homie -Damn that terrible hosting of the Oscars did more damage to Jo Koy than I thought -When a Gummy Bear Grows up!!! -Me too man -"Things could be worse….you are good looking, strong, looks like you have a bed and a roof over your head, you have been able to be successful and you can build your way back to that. You’re also young and it isn’t too late for change. Learn from your mistakes, make amends, work hard….YOU GOT THIS!!!! Seriously." -You photoshopped your face onto a musculear body -As long as you're still breathing; life is good. -"Damn. Times have fallen hard for Aang, the Avatar: On His Last Bender" -Nah bro you too swole got nothing to lose I ain’t roasting you. I ain’t being on your bucket list -You always order the Cream of sum Yung gai -At least you're done disappointing people! There's nobody left! So there's that! -Looks like your boss told you to go home. And now you're on subreddits looking for friends. -"Looks like David Chan, but ain’t got nothing good cooking." -You have a head Pete Weber would salivate over -is it bc you got no bitches then went to the gym and still got no bitches -I swear I still remember you from The Golden Child all those many years ago -"We already know your parents are disappointed in you since you didn’t amount to anything worth bragging about to their friends and coworkers (ie doctor or engineer). If it’s any consolation, all of Reddit also thinks you suck." -"If high blood pressure had a face. - - -Btw you got awesome ink dude, props." -You probably look better now than you did when you had hair. -"""30M - My life is currently in such a downward spiral I don't even feel anything anymore, except for when I inject roids into my butt."" - -\-fixed" -Someone's wife's getting a beating tonight! -Omi hasn't been the same since 06 -Benedict Wrong -"You look relatively young, fit, and healthy. Those are three of the biggest wins you can have." -David Chang got fit. -"he’s such a blob, I wanna crush him and call him cute" -The treneese Mr. Clean -The Mishelwin Man -are you borrowing that bed for now lol -Chef David Chang after 5 yrs in prison for tax evasion -All I gotta say is Can you see me -Bro look like two gummy bears that melted in a gay panda's pocket. -"Bro made six figures and he can't even figure things out. - -Still have his health, young enough, but have no motivation to start over financially because he has no hair..." -Hang in there buddy! You got nice tattoos you look really strong 💪 so pick yourself up and dust it off and have a do over. You got this please don’t give up. 🥹 -His name.....is Random Task -Your head looks like it could roll downhill ad infinitum -He couldn’t out how to write “roast me” the correct way for a picture I thought Asians were supposed to be smart -At least turn the sign around -"Well, you still have your beard, which is...nice?" -"Not a roast, but your face looks like as if my 6 months old nephew got a beard. - -Even the eyebrow expressions are same as him, when he wants to cry." -Looks like it's time for Odd Job to start looking for odd jobs. -That is okay bud she doesn’t feel it either. -Downward spirals are tough as shit. Where do you see yourself in 12 months? -"Sure do got a lot of guns and booze for being barely surviving. Guess they were wrong, not all Asians are good at math, or those roids burned that part of the brain out." -U are the bad guy in all marital arts movies -"No, instead of roasting your testicles off, I will wish you well" -"Yeah, that sounds like life to me. Welcome." -Odd (no) Job. -How many yakuza with a snake print jacket have you tried shaking down -"Hey man if you’re down to talk hit my pm, just one bro to another" -If Oddjob had a Mini Me -"You look good bro, fit and well put together. You seem like the kinda person thats easy to crack a few beers with and bs a while. I hope things get better soon. - -Was gonna roast you but honestly, there's nothing that's gonna top Dwayne ""The Wok"" Johnson 🤣🤣🤣" -You look good. IMO -Say no to drugs kids! -almost a fully shaven kiwi man -almost a fully shaven kiwi man -Looks like your hair took the brunt of all your life's troubles and had enough quite some time ago -eM tsaoR -You're beautiful... -Dave Bao-tista -Only love amigo. -Maybe you could look for an Oddjob or two to help. -"Shit happens, that's the fun of it. You know you can earn, try doing things for others for a while without expecting anything in return and see what life looks like then." -Sad to see Wong succumbing to cancer like this. Big Dr. Strange fan. -I can't believe Liu Kang decided to not only do the One Punch Man workout but wanted to be built like John Cena. -"This is the point in life where you start to understand what's really important to you and work on it. I was a fuking wreck at 30, it got better. Work on stopping destructive behaviors, work on better communication and love yourself. Be good brother" -Dude you look like a Doom power up -You look squeezable  -The TREN called and it said to quit fucking ladyboys and you will be fine... -Master Shifu -Sorry about your misfortune man. I hope you bounce back. Also your bald as fuuuck. -I really can't say anything I'm sorry. You look sad 😭 -This guy legit looks like my dad if he was good at calculus -Odd-job having an existential crisis -I think more steroids might cheer you up. -GOZILLA!!!!!!! -Well at least your downward spiral will be more like a gentle twirl with all that shoulder hair to slow you down. -"I’ll mention the bald head. You’re totally rocking the bald with beard look! No way you look as good with hair. - -But I need a roast, uh, tattoos all on the right arm, but not the left? Get some balance dude." -“Who throws a shoe? honestly?!” -More test ought to do it -"You look like Oddjob from Goldfinger but instead of throwing a bowler hat with a blade in the brim, you throw used steroid syringes at people who are taller than you while yelling “Come at me Bro.”" -"When Oddjob isn't busy throwing his hat at double O seven, he likes to put on a blousy tank top and get in touch with his feminine side on a spa weekend." -Geez... .even dwanye johsons cock want attention on reddit. -"You're not alone..let it all blowover.. -Take it as easy as possible" -U look like Reddit logo. -At least when you hit rock bottom your head will feel at home with the other rocks down there -You got the sign wrong. 😑 -"I can tell by the headboard, you are too rich for my roast" -"You seem legitimately really cool and nice. I hope everything turns around for you man. You deserve more. With that being said, I can only see Russel from up if he got arrested for assault and battery and then became a tattoo artist" -"I honestly can't tell if the hair on your shoulders is glued on from when you shaved your pubes or if it's just fallen there, sadly and disgustingly stuck from the headboard of the hotel bed you're sleeping on tonight. - -Your bio and profile all point to a problem with alcohol. Every aspect of your life doesn't start deteriorating and go to shit for no reason. Believe me bruh I've been there and you're a classic case. We could be brothers except I have more hair on my head than my shoulders. - -On the bright side you are young enough to fix or at least mitigate the damage of a lot of this if you would start feeling some fucking emotions again fam. Won't always be the case." -Blood Boots from The Brothers Sun? -What kind of a man throws his shoe ??? Honestly Random Task from Austin Powers lookin dude -dude i just feel bad after reading ur bio 😭 sounds similar to my life -You look like a really nice dude and I think you can turn this around. -"Aw, Oddjob is sad because he lost his hat." -You look like one of them Kia Soul hamsters -"Ya no thanks. Your profile is full of booze and guns, and you judging by those prison tats, I’m gonna guess you aren’t afraid of going back to jail. - -Ima pass on this one fam, someone else can take the bullet for the sub." -Bro really skipped Head Day -"For some reason I liked how this post turned out. However, Damn, buddy! I’m holding back on roasting this guy because, well, been there, done that. Minus the steroids, of course. -But listen up: if you’re in America, you’ve got the superpower to rise again and conquer. Connect with your ancestors—the ones who’ve got your back and can light up even the darkest moments. Remember, you can’t have Yin without the Yan. Chaos? Yeah, that’s our raw material for rebuilding. So buckle up—I’m hitting the reset button next month myself. 🤘🔥 -May Odin’s wisdom guide your steps, and may the spirits of your ancestors watch over you in the darkest moments. Skål" -Why is your head on upside-down? -You look like Dave Bautista's extremly less successful younger brother who constantly asks him for money -"You look like an infant that came out shredded, like your Ma had a full gymn up in there." -Wong is that you? -I actually feel for dude. Hope shit gets better man I know how ya feel -Your face looks like upside down. -Sorry i cant help you and your do spiraling backwards you turned your sign backwards. You are too far gone down so sad . -Threw your fancy sharp hat and never found it again? -"You look like a guy who could have wasted years at that gym to get strong -Bot realizing that even with the fear and despair in your eyes -That you're actually mentally stronger than you realized -Total burn -Roasted!! - -Here if you want to chat you south park looking steroid user you." -You were great in that Bond movie as Odd Job -Genghis khanT -Good luck with your challenges. -"Legitimate advice, steroid abuse can dramatically effect your mental health - -Sober up and you’ll probably see improvement in QOL" -"Hey man, things and people in life come and go, it's the unfortunate truth, nothing here is eternal. The more you try to keep things perfectly as they were, the more you'll stress yourself as you fight an uphill battle. The important part - keep your health in check, that shit is way harder to fix than money or relationships when it goes down. You have archived a lot of good things in life it seems, more than the average guy, you'll ve able to get some or even more than what you had if you don't give up. Can't roast your bald ass, as I'm also bald and even poorer than you lol. Keep it up and good luck to you from a random stranger!" -"If you’re 30, I’m 19 😂" -We got The Wok before GTA 6 -Asian Batista -Conclusive evidence steroids make one's neck disappear. -You'll be okay brother. Things always seem darkest before the light. -You look like a thumb 👍🏼 -MF over here looking like a tatted up Oddjob -Saddest cabbage patch doll I’ve ever seen. -"If 😳and🤔 got together, fucked and gave that baby steroids, I’d imagine it would still have a bigger dick than you. And would be your doppelgänger. Respectfully." -"Don't give up. Focus on what you have whether it's family, health, friendship, the roof over your head or just to be able to feel the sunshine. Focus on what you have not what you don't have." -Looks like Odd-job has never gotten a blow job -You wear your weakness on your face and we can all see that. -I can't wait to see your final battle against the Avatar -well we can tell from the pic that at least its not anorexia. -"Hairless Asian with hairy shoulders and probably a hairy back. You might be broke, but you hit the genetic lottery." -You look like an ex Kpop idol who found Jesus in prison -"He looks exactly like my father-in-law , I hate him so much !!!! Glad my wife doesn’t look like him" -"Honestly, I'm not sure this is the sub for you." -You definitely don't have frontal lobes -"Try this -https://www.buzzsprout.com/2276975/14016860" -"The Yakuza wants you back. -They’ll continue orchestrating all these setbacks if you don’t." -You got a moose knuckle between the eyes sir -Weren’t you in Austin Powers?!? -You have a nice headboard on the bed. You got that going for ya? -Nice sleeve. Who’s your artist? -Ghengis Khan's older much less successful brother. -"You may have been top of your game before, but now you you’re on your own. -Now the hard mode begins; moving forward when you have complete Apathy. That’s the real challenge. -Fight on!!! Prove them wrong!!!" -"Id hit it. - - -I know that sounds like a compliment but you don't know my dating history" -"30years old??? - - Yulaiiiii" -"Chinese face, with an american gymrat body. -Build your own race! With hundreds of stereotypes to choose from!" -Random Task. -Clearly a first round Squid Game loser. -You managed to mis Orient your own sign to be roasted -"You look jacked enough to be your own Superman. - -But seriously, nobody is coming to save you, dude. Take responsibility for whatever is going wrong in your life, at least whatever you can control. Give yourself permission to suck at all sorts of endevours. And then improve." -Bro go genuinely apologize to someone that you hurt. You’ll feel something after that I guarantee you. -"I'm gay and I'm in love with you! -Did you feel that?!?🤪" -"This isn't a roast, so don't beat yourself up, man. we all get low sometimes. Just remember that's ok. The important thing is that we get back up. When you're down like this, find things that make you happy, like looking at them huge muscles in the mirror. Just keep fighting and find people to talk to that don't roast you and appreciate you." -"On a positive note... -My little sister has the same sports-bra but it looks better on you! 😁" -"i'm sorry you're going through that, sun baby from teletubbies" -I heard the local nightclub needs a bouncer -"You need to hit the gym, your looking pretty small" -The face Oddjob makes when nobody picks him. -You look like a Chinese ninja turtle -joe rogan meets jon gossling -Dude get some help somehow. -It’s not life bro it’s the roids -Cant feel anything can’t see anything poor guy… -"Okay, I’ll try. - -The CCP owns you, and your family." -"Seeing your face, I don't think you need a roast, you need a hug. I would totally give you one. - -You look like someone that has drive within them and I think you can make it. Sorry you are going through this and hope you can find your way to a good place soon. - -Ok, quick roast to hopefully make you smile. - -""Your head is jealous of your back hair."" - -Keep going bro. You got this!" -You look like you're permanently forcing out a shit ... -Credited as 'Unnamed Thug #3' in multiple fast and furious movies -"Stop the roids. - -That's why everything went to shit, and your family fell out with you. - -Get plenty of sleep to fix your brain chemistry. - -Take ashwagandha." -Look on the bright side: you can return all the ink in your right arm for a full refund! -It all went down hill after James bond for odd job -You look like HD OddJob from the 007 Golden Eye Nintendo 64 game. -Picture eliminates the need for your caption lol -U look like a football -Cute blouse -Life’s been hard since the bond movies didn’t want him anymore -"You’re about to hit wok bottom. - -Don’t feel anything ? Nah that’s what your partner says when you slide your flaccid member into him. - -Get off the steroids and sort yourself out." -Do you feel anything when you cut your fingers on that razor sharp hat that you wear? -Ain’t nothing to roast you about. You’re jacked and look like a genuinely good dude -You look like you shouldn't be asian -"Dude you're only 30. Sooooo dramatic. But seriously, I hope you're doing better, hang in there." -Head up brother! One day at a time. -How can I roast him. When he already roasted himself😭🙏 I hope this guy is okay. -Upshaw? -Don't sit on a wall. You'll have a great fall -The Rock bottom. -You look like Odd Job's millennial grandson. -"Didn't really like the Green Hornet, sorry" -Partner of 8 yrs? ...your cat don't count......and even that hates you.....time to lube up that wok with your tears.... -Better keep that beard to hide that baby face -Don’t give up brother. -How can we? You can’t even hold that sign up properly. -I don’t like to kick a guy when he’s down but I can’t tell if your really down or just really short. Either way you are giving off a food service vibe and probably have a really hairy back -Hoe Rogan -what’s your stack -The Wok -When you think gym is a personality. -You look like you threw your hat at James Bond and he won’t give it back -"Brother ! Chin up ! It’s not the end , and I’m sure you will find solution and figure out your situation. I’m living worst days of my life since I lost my business and around 50k in cash . I feel you brother . You look like a guy who can solve any problem so stay strong my man !" -Aren’t you supposed to be guarding some magical items in a keep in the Marvel Universe instead of wasting time on Reddit? -At least you have a nice headboard bro -It all started downhill when you threw your hat at James Bond. -Joe Wogan -Hang in there man -Why do the really short guys try to get buff? You look like you're about 4'9. Definitely over compensating. -"Omg loool what the af , this must be an AI created photo" -What does EM TSAOR mean? -Bro looks like he about to frisbee a hat to decapitate james bond -Jaki chans disabled brother/friend -Now did you steal JohnnyFD's look or is it the other way around? -Least rigged mongolian -You actually have one of the best bald heads I've seen. And I hate bald heads. Beautiful baldy 👑 -It's not your life causing the downward spiral it would be your steroid cycle. Stop injecting. -"I love you big dawg. - -Its a shit show out here now but focus on your spiritual strength as much as you physical strength and things will get better" -" Honestly, you got no reason to be insecure about being bald because that and the muscles you have just adds to a good look. I have a friend who talks about shaving his head and getting buff dude cause honestly it’s a good look! Especially with the tattoos!" -"With traps like that, you’re gonna end up being one of the rocks, at rock bottom" -"I just wanted to say you slightly look like that guy from the glass onion movie ,like the dude who dies" -"Man looks like a yakuza side character, Think of any fighting film ... ever . he looks like a henchman . maybe a second in command . maybe even the special unit . - - - -Me thinks man posted this so he could find baba yaga . - - - -Eh gl with your future my guy, we all have shitbtimes and down times, but it shows true strength if u can fight on move on and improve from any mistakes you made, Legit tho you could probably get a role as a film gangsta, if i was making a film id probably grab u)" -What's wrong? Can't scratch your ass cause the muscles too big? -You look like Genghis Can't  -"All I can see is, OVER 9000! Oh and switch your dating profile to the Pokémon Dugtrio." -"Bro, you don’t need this sub to feed your self-hatred. Been there, done that. This sub is all about finding anything remotely close to reality to overexaggerate it. While the usual poster here knows it and laughs about it, you seem to be using it to approve of your own insecurities, and thus a false reality. This comment doesn’t fit this subreddit at all, but I just want to say you look like an awesome human being. You look friendly, chill, like a bro. You seem to have put a lot of work into your body, which a lot of people don’t have the strength to do. You came a long way, and I just want to say that I am proud of you. When shit gets tough, you have to get tougher. But this includes mental health and overcoming your fears to maybe even seek professional help. I wish you all the best man, you can do it and I believe in you!" -"The name is Wong. - -Sum Ting Wong." -Great Value Maui -"You look like someone really cool and interesting with great tattoos and probably a million stories to tell. But you totally also look like someone who dribbles pee on the seat when they wee-wee, so that's all I can focus on. That's all ANYONE ever sees when they talk to you: toilet seat drips." -Judging by your eyes and muscles you seem to be compensating for something -At least you don’t have to worry about going bald -"Dude you’ve got a roof over your head, you look like you eat regularly, stop being a drama bitch." -Sum Ting Wi Li Wong. -the rock if he was asian and also look like a baby -Git fired as an extra on a Jackie Chan movie -Wait until you realize it’s all your fault too. -Dam you look old as shit for 30 -You could at least do Odd Jobs to keep your spirit up! Try to smile at least 007 times a day and daydream about having lots of Gold in your Fingers. -Count Food Panda -"You actually look cool, and you suit the bald head." -not gonna roast you. You look good ☺️ -Going to the gym won’t make you taller -"I can't roast you dude. Clearly you're going thru stuff and if you need someone to talk or vent to I'm here! Stay strong King and keep kickin ass and taken names. It may be hard rn (whatever is going on) but you've came this far. -Love the tattoos btw ! 🔥" -Woks the matter with you? Why downward spiral -Hey of your unhappy do something about it I went from homeless to going back to school and got a good job. If you have a strained relationship with family try to mend it. If it’s not worth mending walk away. If your partner isn’t compatible break up. Nothing in life is easy no stop sulking put on your big boy pants and do something about it. -Joe Logan -You probably can't see the spiral either -*Bro thought he could post a picture of a number 15 billiard ball and nobody would notice...* -"Don't give up, brother. God loves you, and in order to be made into who you're meant to be, you first must be broken. The next step is to truly seek Him." -Dwayne the Wok Johnson. -You look like someone dressed up a toddler to guest star on Joe Rogan -How is life now? -Genghis Khan would be so fucking proud of what remains of his descendants. suck my asshole man. -On the bright side for your wife everything after two inches is still brand new looking at ya. All jokes aside you’ll be fine brother. Bounce back and keep the fight going. -There’s been wars fought for the real estate on your forehead💀 -Jo Ro Gan -Daddy 🥵🥵🥵 -You can't even write backwards properly. -"Tattoos are statistically significant indicators, a billboard, for mental heath issues stemming from childhood trauma. #branded - -Roasted. - -Go to therapy." -"You listen to to much Rogan," -I legit thought you were Bloodboots from Brothers Sun -Genghis Khan’t -you’re going to be okay -"Odd Job's younger brother, No Job." -Was Dr Strange mean to widdle ole Wongers? -Dawyne the pebble Johnson -"Instead of using 1k a month on roids, you could use it for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. -Like a bald cap. Or housing. - -Or just not do roids and see how that works out for you" -How did you go from 6 fig to broke? -"何とかなるだろう -がんばって!" -"Hey Uncle Iroh, what’s up?" -"Steroids,kids. Dont do em." -"You look like oddjob, the henchman in Dr No with the flying hat." -You don't have any emotions because you're a random NPC from Street Fighter. Go back in the crowd and get to cheering. -Your head looks like a tumour on your body -Best AI-gen real Ninja Turtle ever -Humty dumpty sat on the wall. -"No way you are 30, look pretty close to mid 40s" -Looks like Humpty Dumpty fell and landed on a protein shake -Come off steroids and you won't be so hostile  -You look like descendants of Genghis Khan but without the army or many wifes to fuck every day so you got only the worst this face and territories to rule limited to your bed size not even single horse to ride -It only gets worse… :/ -Looks like your head is on upside down. That would put anyone in a downward spiral! -"Bruhhh, every time I used to choose you as my Golden Eye character back in the day, all my buddies said I was cheating. . ." -"If you're lysdexic and you know it... wait, nevermind. just turn the sign around." -"U look like half of ur life got banned by supercell. Ayo bro thinks he s the chicken nugget from the lays bag. U look like ur head stayed 24/7 for 3 days in a washing mashine, then u brushed ur teeth. Im not very good at roasting bro... :(" -Human butt plug. -Dude looks like a sumo wrestler and a family disappointment all in one -comment -Insomniac? So you’re saying that not even you want to sleep with you. -Emily Bland -"Holy shit beauty sleep does matter, you look like my grandfather's sack" -How are you an NPC in your own life?! -"Have you tried melatonin? - -That should be sufficient enough to piss you off more than these other comments." -You dress like you make hip hop dancing videos for moms in the 80s. -"That smile screams, ""I like to crop dust""" -"Must be hard going to sleep, knowing that you’ll be waking up as that" -"You are so plain and boring that if one of the 9 pictures of you was you naked and fingering yourself, I don't think anyone would have slowed down while flipping through them." -The lack of sleep is sure taking its toll. You look like a 40-year old that works at pottery barn -"You didn’t make my dick soft, you made it retreat" -Everything’s NOT going to work out -Have you tried feeling sleepy? You're welcome. -how was the your 10th 27th birthday party? Do anything different than your last nine? -Willem-ina Dafoe -The queen of wiping back to front -"whoever made that comment about me looking like a Swiftie that was literally the most offensive one, you were right to delete it gtfo" -I bet cashiers feel bad when they ask you if you want bags today. -"""I need to feel something"" - - Too bad it won't be good dick" -Your smile has the facial posture of a baseball glove squeezing a ball -The teacher that has sex with her high school students -Dam girl you look rough -You could use some beauty-sleep. Maybe a 5-year coma? -I would hide you under my floor boards even if you weren't Jewish. -You need to get a grip on reality. It should be no problem with your man hands. -"You say you're an insomniac, but I'm betting it's everyone around you that's exhausted." -You sure know how to flatten out a sweater -I can see right through that smile at how truly empty you are inside. -"Also probably a half-dozen diagnoses, several vague and evolving dietary restrictions all rooted in a crippling lack of self confidence that is probably unjustified, but you use as a reason to drive others out of your life." -I wouldn’t be able to sleep either if I had to see that in the mirror every day. -I can smell that you are high maintenance -You could certainly put me to sleep. -You look like you would own a knick knack store but it’s just your house that you leave the door open for customers and have prices on all your household decorations. -I started to nod off after pic 2. -Even Freddy Krueger praying this bitch stays awake... -Well yeah- you probably haven't felt anything since some bartender named Dennis was raw dogging you out back by the dumpster. Did you have to pay him for the meth or was it complimentary? -On your 4th pic you can see your vibrator you left on your bed. -Bet she puts margarine on undercooked toast -"Honestly I’m sure you’re very nice, but those turtle necks are awful bro" -kinda early to dress like a spinstress -??? You must get plenty of sleep after you polish off that box of wine every night. -Really?  Because it looks like you're getting a full 8-hours sleeping face down on a gravel driveway. -Do you feel bad when you make a onion cry? -Your smile and clothes are so lifeless people confuse you for one of the mannequins when you go shopping at JC Penney. There's more color in the antique photographs in the store you took a selfie in than in your clothes or house. -"i have less hair on my arms and I'm the missing link, jesus f christ" -A belt sander with low grit sandpaper would do. Up to the hairline. Perfect. -Most people's chins are much smaller than their forehead. Good on you. -"Your face is giving me trouble sleeping, too." -I was gonna write a good roast but fell asleep while scrolling through your photos. -Claw-like hands and hairy arms. You're like a very boring cryptid -I bet your shit looks just as tired below the belt lol -"Damn, she roasted herself better than everyone else… Bravo" -"When a prolapse anus counts as a ""disstability ""." -Can I borrow your chin to level out my workbench later? -You look like a real life female version of quagmire. -"Everyone you know groans and eye rolls whenever you call, text, speak or even breathe. - -They’re all sick of your shitty failures." -You look 10 years older than me and im 34. I also used to smoke crystal meth regularly and do heroin -Every photo looks the same -Is pushing your bed into a corner an admission that there's never going to be anything other than your dozen cats sharing the bed with you? -Your thumb looks weird -"God said, lets raise those lips on the Y axis a little more on the Nintendo Mii creator." -Definitely the before model on an anti-aging commercial -"Your kitchen is covered in ""live, laugh, love"" signage" -You look like the trans version of Split -"im 33 year old man but fuck me, you look 40+ for me on those photos. i have 60yo aunts looking younger xd - -and from your eyes i can definitly see you are nothing cool to hang around, chaos - -your face expression reminds me of a psychopath - -ty but no ty i remind solo XD" -"Why do you look older then me? -I'm 38, smoker since 19, and homeless for years until recently." -Whomever told you those glasses looked good on you secretly hates you -do you wear glasses to have a personality? -"I don't know how you're an insomniac.  - - -I only looked at 3 of your pictures and fell asleep. " -you WERE 27 in 2004. -You look like beige wallpaper. -Give up the meth. That shit is starting to ruin you. -"Good Lord! You look like you put a paper bag on your head before you masturbate, just so you don't catch a glimpse of your face in your phone!" -I normally come here to jerk off to depressed women… but that thing is not doing it for me. -I feel like you have a weird collection of cat turds -27....u mean 37 right... -Why don't you just pick up some ZzzQuil when you refill your Prozac? -A pointed hat and a broom would do the trick. -I tried to look at all your photos but I fell asleep…. -"Oh another joyless sex insomniac, a day of multiple orgasms will make you sleep like a baby" -Chronic idiot too from the looks of ya. -Are you sure you're not 37? -All the spice of plain cold spaghetti plus the arm hair to rival any Turkish man. -"You look like you sleep with puertoricans, and when they’re not comfortable agreeing to race play, you claim SA." -How many years have you been 27? -"If you put ""35f"" I would've believed it. Get some rest holy shit" -It's dress to impress not dress to depress -Why does each photo look like a different personality? They weren’t joking when they said they were letting everyone out of the asylum. -If Erkel was a basic bitch -You look like you shop at a thrift shop that only sells old walmart clothes -Unresting bitch face -I’d swipe right -I can why we don’t back have any back shots dude in second pic is not impressed -They call it beauty sleep for a reason -Have u tried Lithium? 💊 no really have ur Lithium levels checked.. that fixed my insomnia zzzzZzzzz -The most basic of basic white girls… -"It’s like children of the corn, except children of the thrift store" -I believe the insomnia part. I wouldn't sleep with you either. -37 -the selfie at buffalo bill's boutique is the single worst decision any woman has ever made with a cell phone -Its been years since you've been on an actual date -You look like the trust fund ran out about 10 years ago. -Your face gives off the I need to speak to the manager vibes -"Every picture resembles when people ask me how im doing? Great, but my anxiety got me fucked up." -Them knuckles... dead giveaway. -Someone has been skipping their beauty sleep. -You won’t even sleep with you -I'd let you not sleep next to me. -You’re trying so hard to look and stay 20 but it’s so clear that you’re practically 30 -Bells Palsy? -You dress like an insecure meerkat -Do you stay up all night thinking about the marriage you’ll never have? -27? You look like a solid 39 -"Please, no one ask her about astrology." -You look like the first version of Lady Elaine Fairchild. The one that Mr. Rogers thought looked too unpleasant. -You're so boring we're having a hard time giving you what you what ......Attention. -Insomniac huh? Somebody get the mallet! -"You might sleep better if you stopped using amphetamines, Methany." -To be honest you look like a very sweet school teacher that appears in the news for having sex with one of her boy students. -Go buy another piece of decor or thrift another upscaled sweater. I'm sure it will fill the void -Never seen anyone look so sad and happy at the same time. -“I need to feel something” is probably the line you give every guy at closing time until one agrees -That's a five head -"You meant 47, right? RIGHT?" -Your guy keeps wishing to feel somehting when he sees you…..alas…..😶. -You misspelled 37 -You need to get a doctor to fix that insomnia. You've got the eyes and face of someone in their late 40s / early 50s. -It takes a lawnmower to keep that arm hair at bay. -"It's no wonder sleep is avoiding you. I would, too." -Sweater vests and duck face are embarrassed to be associated with you. -Insomnia checks out. Clearly not getting any beauty sleep. In a deficit really. -Walgreens sells face masks. -Im a chronic insomniac too. I go days without sleep. Shits ass -"If you can’t sleep, just flip through the nine pictures you made us look at. You’re so boring I was dead asleep before pic 5" -You look much closer to 47 than 27 -Your chin proves women are infact worthy of combat -"Dude, I only needed ONE picture…." -You won't even sleep with yourself. -Listing bad sleep habits as the number 1 most interesting thing about yourself is very sad -I guess you aren’t kidding about your insomnia - you look 37 -By age you are too young for me. By looks you are too old for me. -Hey Ciri how can I get rid of my boner -Vanilla. Everything is vanilla. -Pretty accurate to me for a 47yr old. -She is a hot mom next door who's into cats only -Insomniac but your face makes me want to sleep forever -You seem nice -27?? Lots of city miles... -"Damn, you’ve lived a hard 27. What are you a pioneer woman?" -How long ago was your 27th birthday? or is it the 27th anniversary of your 27th birthday? -This is how Quagmire would look if he had a sex change…or just grew his hair long…giggiditty -"You claim to be 27 but you give off that Boomer feel with your looks. Like, you're between 50-60." -27 or 57? -"No need to be insomniac, the monster under your bed is more afraid of you than you're afraid of him" -You sure do have a lot of confidence to take that many pictures of yourself. Know If i looked like you I dont think id even have any mirrors -your jawline is like if regan was a marionette -You're lucky that you can stuff all of your baggage into those giant bags under your eyes. -You look like someone who would call up their boyfriend from 4 years ago and say they are the father of your 3-month-old baby -Are you 13 or 50??? -"Don't worry, beauty sleep probably wouldn't help you anyway." -"Just because nobody wants to sleep with you, that does not make you an insomniac" -"Nice thumb. - -Not. Your thumbs are shit." -Teacup chihhuaha head -You sure you’re 27? Because you look like a 37 who hasn’t slept -She looks like an Indian woman in two pics. -Your hairstyle belongs on Lord Farqaurd. -You were 27 in the 90s… -Stay off the meth chump 🙃 -With all this jaw you could've starred at Jaws -"With that stupid smirk pose, you look like a clown" -Are your teeth like a funny colour? -"You look pretty, ugly" -Your an old soul isn’t a compliment it’s truth 27 my butt -Hairy ass arms -Are you related to Pinocchio? Cause damn that nose is long -Your smile lines are deeper than your dreams -27 going on 45 -Molie molie molie molie molie -Meth addiction is different than insomnia. -Have you tried sleeping? It looks like you need it -In the fifth picture you look like chad squidward. -"Those cheekbone implants are pretty obvious, just sayin'." -You’ve got some city miles on you -I can only assume you must feel embarrassed all the time -Is your face stuck like that? -You look like a grandma -"So, does not sleeping make you age twice as fast?" -you're getting old -Not to mention multiple personalities. Every picture is a different person. -Bro you’re def pushing 43 easily.  -27? Oof -"The only sleepy thing about you, is your left eye." -That’s a rough 27 -"Ofcourse don't sleep. People appreciate a sleeping beauty, not a sleeping ugly toad! 😂" -Don't even have to buy coasters anymore with that forehead -You look like from age 20-40 at once -"Just cause no one wants to sleep with you, doesn't make you an insomniac" -"It's doing you no favors, you look older than me at 46." -"Cute, but there must be a type o. Gotta be 37 not 27." -Holy shit the teeth reveal was a shock after all the hard line smiles -Insomnia: so that’s why you look 54 -Ugly -even you don't wanna sleep with you -"You should try to sleep more, you look tired" -27 going on 70. -27 + ? -* it puts its pinky in it's mouth* -27 for the last 7 years right ? -"I can hear your vocal fry through the picture. - - I'd be willing to bet money that you sound like ""The Grudge"" when you talk." -27 going on 37 -"9 fucking images, how insecure can a person be?" -You look tired have you tried sleeping? mahhahaha. -Fiona Apple if she got attacked with a post hole digger -I’m going to think about you when I’m not trying to cum. -Methamphetamine usually causes insomnia.. -"OP Just ask yourself if you want to have sex with yourself. - -You'll automatically respond with ""no sorry I'm much too tired"" and fall asleep immediately." -You don't seem happy thats all i gotta say -You actually look like Debbie Downer -you're gonna be an incredible mom to some sad beige children -I hope you fall off the chair -Please get some beauty rest -are you an insomniac or just on adderall? -I’ll have you text me. I’m ugly enough to make you feel suicidal. -White women age like cabbage in the sun -Emily Subtle -Live. Laugh. Lonely. -"Idk maybe I'm too nice for this, but I think you're lovely. Is it a roast that I feel too badly to roast you?" -Cute af with a forehead designed for dick measuring -Whose auntie is this? - You’re really cute and seem like a nice person -"I'm never roasting, only toasting. - -You are beautiful, queen!" -To beautiful for a roast...sorry. -youre beautiful -I can fix her  -Hairiest arms on a female. EVER. The cut scars must be on the abdomen. -Definitely a lib -"I know this is a roast you sub, but you are very cute. There is nothing here to roast…" -You’re beautiful -Wished you made noises so the Alien creatures can eat you -"Loves hiking, reading, and tchotchkes." -Redpillers whole “wall” theory is starting to make sense. -"Your Tesco meal deal is a ham sandwich, bottled water and ready salted crisps" -You look like Tina Fey if she had that weird scar on both sides of her face instead of just one. -"Although she couldn’t get any sleep, - -None of us here can hardly keep, - -Our eyelids from drooping. - -Don’t think of her pooping, - -It’ll remind you of that anally prolapsed sheep" -Defining insomniac by going to bed at 1130. You’re so badass -"You are either 13, or 90... pick one" -bangs draw attention away from your fangs -You would be decent if you didn't smile... why do you look like that when smiling you look like the anonymous logo -"I see you walking down the isle, I'm standing between you and my kids." -Sometimes you look 12... Sometimes you look 50 -Waw@× -I'd be scared to death of falling asleep if I looked like you too -You look like if wine drinking in the bath was a sport. -You look like the type of girl who makes a tik tok account to post your best queefs. -You have the look of somebody who is burdened with an ‘impossible fetish’ that cannot be satiated in reality. It keeps you up at night. -second pic is giving me a headache -I can only imagine what that face looks like from the inside! -Losing sleep because in just 10 years you’ll be a washed up old maid. -I would be insomniac too if I looked like this -I wouldn’t be able to sleep after seeing that in the mirror either. -27 looks different when your 41 -Wearim them overalls we know you ain’t “felt something” for a very very long time… -If I looked like you I would want to be asleep and miss as much of real life as possible too. -You look like you live off a steady IV drip of Starbucks -You run the only OnlyFans page that pays dudes to subscribe. -That second picture looks like you are McGrubers younger more special sister. -You are the best ad for beauty rest. -"Holy shit. I finally understand the importance of beauty sleep. - -On a related note, you look like all four of your kids have gone through college and ditched you, and now the only excitement in your life is the fact that you'll be shipped off to the nursing home in a few years." -Them Bayangz look defeated -I wouldn't be able to sleep if I looked like you. -one of the sleepiest looking people ive ever seen but an insomniac. looks can be decieving i guess. -"Your insomnia seems to be catchy, 'cause JESUS CHRIST this post is going to keep me awake all night." -comment -Bald and dreads? Bro you’ve roasted yourself already. -You look like if Korn added a tambourine player to their lineup -You look like you would go to a bowling alley just to smell the shoes -Manson without the family -wow its crack sparrow -Bro has been an extra in every Netlix cult documentary ever made. -You just KNOW this guys smells like piss -"Couldn't afford Burning Man this year, huh?" -You put the sad in whatever a sadhu is -I’m sure you’re “choosing” to be celibate with this approach too lol have fun señor hairy palms -Renouncing your worldly life from your iPhone 6. Namaste away from this dude -What the actual fuck are you -Mf looks like he has lengthy opinions on why not to use handsoap. -"This dude looks like what Jesus would have if he had given up. - -Also, keeps wearing that hat, bro. Lots bald men look great, you’re just not one of them. " -"You're the guy who passed out that poorly-xerox'd socialist newsletter on the street this morning, right?" -6 years since becoming a Florida Man -You look like you tell people deodorant is a myth -"You look like you try to pick up chicks out outside the battered women’s shelter, and then scream at them about what a nice guy you are when you get rejected" -"You’re like 40, time to grow up and stop trying to piss off your white collar dad. Also Phish sucks. You look like the kind of guy to buy Doc Bronners but never use it." -"Young, bald, white dreadhead 33 year old thinks he’s some variation of a monk, turn the fucking record over. There’s like, 8 million more of you and the working/non gold bricking people in California/oregon/Washington are getting tired of stepping in your shit on the sidewalks" -Captain Jack spar-some change? -"PSA: Rubbing that patchouli oil on your scalp is not, in fact, going to help you grow your hair back." -"You preach love and kindness, and then steal your friends pack of cigarettes and lighter, and ask for rides everywhere but never offer to pitch in on gas or you disappear when your friends are in need." -ZZ rock bottom -Man did everything he could to avoid a job. -I bet they can smell you from Valhalla. -Davy Crockett of shit -"Great, another white monk." -Your hair is upside down -Is sadhu new age speak for “homeless”? -When you rub a bottle of piss and the genie pops out. -"We get it, you like drugs, no, I don't have any. No, you may not borrow my phone. No, you may not come to my house to crash for a day and take a shower." -No one is fooled when dudes with bad hair join religions that require head coverings. -"Your best virtue is that you were smart enough to reject the world before the world rejected you. - -You also get bonus points for getting thousands of people to Google what the hell a ""sadhu"" is." -I cannot wait for your Netflix cult documentary to come out. -My phone smells bad just from scrolling through these pics. -So deep and spiritual. So much wisdom you've gained by living off of your parents trust fund on salon-styld dreadlocks. There is no foreseeable future here where you pick up a sexual assault charge for preying on women with mental illness with promises of enlightenment and bipolar curing blueberry juice. -They have programs for the homeless you know? -Couldn’t just be a normal white man could you -Jack sparrow has fallen on hard times -Captain Crack Sparrow -"“Im telling you man people have been using urine therapy for centuries. It’s a long lost secret western medicine doesn’t want you to know about right up there with taint sunning and ball tapping rituals” - --probably this fucking guy" -The homeless are getting creative these days. -Mirror Mirror on the wall who is more spiritual of them all. No journey can pull out narcissistic love you have of for yourself. -Even your dog passed out from your B.O. -Are Sadhu allowed to have cell phones?  I thought they renounce all worldly possessions.  Pretty obvious you've renounced soap -First pic is from a Vietcong prison circa 1974 -Once you go Sadhu we don’t want you backhu -Bro must be enlightened: went to India and found Reddit -"Anyone who takes this religion even remotely seriously would not be posting on the ""roast me"" subreddit. Like I don't even want to make fun of you - this is weird behavior. Please skip to the part where you get bored of larping and find a really, really good therapist. - -Also bitch you got predator dreads and I'm not talking about the movie." -Looking like that you could never be a HAPPY-hu -You look like one of Chevy Chase's disguises in the movie Fletch. -"A sadhu seeking validation on social media using technology. Riiiiight…. - -What a poser. You are in love with your own image. - -PS, hippies smell." -You pronouns are SAD/YOU -"There ain't any pegs left, bro. Get some hair implants and reintroduced back into society, hippie." -Your beard looks like you stole it from Party City -You look like an Amish man who ate a bunch of mushrooms during his rumspringa and tried to go back to his village to spread the gospel of psychedelics but ended up just being ostracized from the community. -Appropriation says what? -Even Indian people think this dude reeks . -Are Sadhus basically shut-ins that were forced to give up the privacy of mom's basement for being publicly religious and changing little else? That's what I'm seeing here. -Sadhu? Is that like an incel but short for SAD HUman instead? -"If sadhu means burden on society, then you achieved your goal." -"You were great in Fletch! - -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JL8Ai9f-L8k" -"The personification of everything terrible about white people. Even though this guy thinks the opposite as an -“enlightened” individual." -The final boss of cultural appropriation. -Seems like you have got a lot of attachments in this world for a Sadhu. -YOU SHALL NOT PASS a piss test -He smells like regrets and bad decisions -Wouldn’t be the first time you had something done to you involving a pegging! -If cultural appropriation was a person -I don't even mind the shameless appropriation of other cultures but your dreads look like shit and we all know it. -TRUSTAFARIAN -A homeless guy lugging his worldly possessions around isn't a Sadhu. Sadhu's are only supposed to give up trying to achieve the first 3 Hindu goals of life. Looks like you've given up on all of them. -You’re absolutely insane… -I’ve never seen a guy have both a skullet AND dreadlocks. I’m sure you pass out copies of the Bhagavad Gita at festivals. -You have a smart phone yet claim you are part of ascetic order. How did you manage to fuck up being poor? -6 years ago is also the last time he showered -You’ve already kicked yourself down the job is done -"The dreads, beard, beads and headbands are all props to your shallow self centered need to be unique. But all of those things put you into a box. You’re a stereotype with the material attachments that you use to project an image of what you want others to think you are. This is why you are on Reddit of all places asking strangers to be cruel and read you, opening yourself to cruelty and attacks. Which makes me question if you’re actually happy. Because why would you open the door to emotional masochism?" -r/whatisthisbug -Look like you should be carrying an Ak-47 and suppressing women's rights -"Sadhu, the final stage of incel-ism." -"It better provide some sort of virgins in the afterlife deal, chief" -You are the third in charge at the local homeless camp -Being that visually unappealing sure comes natural to you. -You smell like patchouli and the underside of my balls if I hadn’t showered in three months. -Since when was Rasputin a Rastafarian? -You look like Asmongold from India. -"Gandalf, you really let yourself go." -"Hair transplant is about 700usd + the flight to turkey 500usd equals your chance to be normal again. Also, go shower" -Kick you down? You already look like you are buried up to your nose in something. -Looks like the only peg he has left is the one he uses for a leg. -You need to become anonymous -You look like a character that would offer the most ridiculous sidequests in a GTA game. -Sadhu? Is that a grown up dumpster baby? -"Man, people are going to have a field day with you here" -"You are making it too easy, it takes the fun out of the roast." -What did you buy with the quarter you picked up off the green in Happy Gilmore? -Qanon sadman -"""Sadhu: A Hindu holy person that has given up the worldly life""........proceeds to use cell phone to post to Reddit. You're doing a great job bro....." -"I don't know what a sadhu is, but now I know that not only do I not want to be one, but I don't want to see, know, or be near one. Congrats, you've just turned me racist or something." -Please spend another 6 years on top of that mountain. The world is not ready for your new masturbation technique. -"Dear BALD JESUS CHRIST! - -God, why have you forsaken him????" -"If you're gonna culturally appropriate to make up for the fact you couldn't forge your own path for yourself, you may as well go ALL IN BABY." -"Temu Jesus, is that you?" -this is the reason i’m in this sub. -This is Jack Sparrow if Amber Heard had won the lawsuit. -"Remember seeing you outside that closed k-mart with your 2 cart garage asking people a dollar for a sandwich, but you would never show the sandwich." -The love child of Bin laden and jack sparrow wearing princess Jasmin’s dress .. wtf -Damn you took that last breakup really hard -If meth and Pauly shore had a baby -You’re still a universal joke that you’re not in on. But enjoy wiping your ass with leaves. Very special. -Renounced the world and vanity but check me out on Reddit -It looks like everything you do you do it because you know someone is going to take pictures of you -Mate no fucking way you are same age as me with a head of hair like that -You look like your parents change the subject if someone asks about you. -The kind of guy to start a cult but still struggle to get pussy. -Turn it upside down and he's being born again....🤣 -"Sadhu - You misspelled ""lock up your stuff because this guy is lingering about""" -Is sadhu like a new level of unemployment? -Your hairline is the only thing that desires absolute freedom. -"Does becoming a sadhu mean “realizing I’m unable to hold a job, taking care of my personal hygiene and relating to other people, but pretending it’s a spiritual thing”?" -Poor guy… His only friends are the starving lice that live in his dreads and dine on the excrement that he rubs into his “hair” to help the dreads become thicker. -Your rich parents are so very proud. -"The idiom is, “knock you down a peg” you chrome dome genetic reject." -"black people have Afrikan Locs, yeah, white people have dreads... that shit look dreadful" -“…so I ran up behind ‘em with a hatchet.” -"No roast here. Good on you mate, my cousin is bald and has dreadlocks and looks awesome when hes wearing a hat. Do what makes you happy, looks like a awesome part of the world" -"Be honest, you did all that bc you were angry that you were balding" -R u Radagast the Brown or something -First Sadhu on the internet. The others gave up their worldly belongings and activities. -"These trustafarians are getting out of hand, they’re spreading to India" -"Not a roast, and my comment may be blasphemous not being one lol, but is having a Reddit or phone even within the realms of this lifestyle?" -Bet the sadhus didn’t have to tell you about the celibacy vow before you applied. -No more pegs to kick you down -You look like Trevor from GTA 5. -My mom always taught me to never kick a man when he's clearly at his lowest. -"Bro, could make some real $$$ in India. DM me, I've the management team.😂" -Avatar: The Last Hair Surrender -Lives in nature because you don't have neighbors. Whom you are legally to inform that you touch kids -"Captain jack sparrow is more like it, I know it’s supposed to be a roast, but let’s be real. How many baddies do you pull a day?" -I guess that's the new way of saying homeless 😂 -Always wondered how to draw giving up. This guy is the Norman Rockwell of giving up. -"I really understand the hair that you loss, I wouldn't want to be near you either." -You look like you host the Robert pickton fan club -The weight of your locks is pulling off the hair at the top of your head… -Even Shiva doesn't want to hang out with your bald ass. -No chance this guy is the same age as me -You look like there’s a hierarchy to your imaginary friends -"Dude has renounced the worldly life, except for when he wants to post on reddit with a cell phone. He sure as shit doesn't make exceptions for hygiene." -Sad fool -Knock you down a peg from where? Rock bottom? -You’re like what a leader of a sex cult looks like… but without any followers to have sex with. -Does Sadhu stand for sex offender where you’re from? -Time for a game of 'Homeless or Hipster'. -Congrats on figuring out a way to fuck trust fund kids out of their money. -I can smell your photos -So it's been 6 years since you walked down my street checking car doors? You can't hide Zack I will find you -I need to take a shower just by looking at these photos. -One could fail a drug test just by looking at you -"A white dude who is claiming to be this, doesn’t need to be knocked down a peg. He’s already in the negative. Tool." -Hatfish -"That’s a funny way of saying ‘gave up, stopped working, and stopped showering’." -clearly you are I love wit the idea of yourself as a sadhu... nothing but ego and spiritual materialism -I appreciate that you showed us all of your personal belongings in these pictures. It gives us more source material. At least it would if you owned more than 3 bead necklaces and two shirts. -That dog looks old and dying and it’s not even close to being the worst smelling thing in that pic -"Let me guess, you're part of some sort of folk punk band" -Looks like he been jumping out of trees yelling huzzah at ren fair patrons for 6 years. -Even your fleas are ashamed to be seen with you. -Hey. I’m not roasting you. Come to Thailand and become a Theravada monk. It’s better. -Must be nice living off mommy and or daddy’s money. -You look like Chris Mckandles right before he died on that bus in Alaska -You got scammed bro. -I can smell the patchouli thru my phone. -6 years since your last shower -"Every Hindu, Sikh, and Buddhist’s worst white nightmare." -"You're part Mongolian, part falcon, and part owl" -You look like Baba Ram Dass's Brillo-Pad -This dude wipes his ass with pine cones and you think y’all can roast him -"A side of dreadlocks, please." -Ok where’s swamiji -Jesus christ keep the hat on -Osho from temu -Just accept that you can’t grow a beard. No reason to go to the lengths of gluing your pubes on your face. -Last one low key looks like jack sparrow -Hey look! Rob Zombie posted 7 pics of his taint! -You have dreads *and* you’re bald? Bro pick a struggle -So what does your dad tell people you do for work because he's ashamed of who you are? -A sadhu is a person who has chosen to live life apart from or on the edges of society to focus on your own spiritual practices…. Guess that hasn’t worked well and figured you would jump back into regular life on Reddit?! -Bald with dreads is certainly a decision of all time -I bet the back of the ROAST ME sign says “The end of the world is Nigh!” -Sure... Get your spiritual discipline through reddit comments -Your hats work harder than you do -"Please in all ways - spiritually, mentally, sexually, etc — please never, ever interact with anyone I care about. - -Thanks." -"33? In what, fucking dog years?" -You no sadhu. That beard is way too clean for someone who has given up all maaya -"Was definitely in the capitol on Jan 6th. - -Once people started getting busted, he went to the party store and got this dreadlock cowboy hat disguise - -co-opting culture further, he now calls himself the White Sherpa." -Tell me you’re Israeli and wanted to escape military service without telling me you’re Israeli and wanted to escape military service 😂 -Who knew the Dalai Lama fucked a sheep and produced this piece of work... -Balding Charles Manson wasn’t on my radar for today -Good god man -Insert windowless van joke.. -Thinks he's original. Nothing original like smelling like BO and unbrushed teeth. -Halloween costumes on sale now -"Sadhu Sikhing attention. Sad indeed, you." -I feel SO much better about my life choices now. Thanks! -Why tf is some who gave up the worldly life engaging on social media Aka “the worldly life”? You’re a contradiction and I hope the dreads on your pp get tangled. -"Dude really. Get job and cut your hair and keep the weed smoking to night and weekends like it should be man??? Cmon really. Wake the @%#! up its NOT healthy to be fake and all hippy like and shit. Oh my God, damn" -"TIL ""sadhu"" means disgusting person who smells like syphilis" -Get a job -"Tibetan Pirat Monk, now I saw everything." -You didn’t have to convert just because they gave you a hot meal. -"If I were you, I wouldn't want to be reincarnated either" -You look like Jack Sparrow if he got sober and lost all his money. -Bro looks like a medusa relative -"Buddy, there are no pegs left, just people who make you feel cool about bad choices." -How's Nazareth this time of year? -"Just because your scalp's clear, doesn't mean your head is" -About the same time you lost your hair? I think that is not a coincidence…. -"That’s not a forehead, dude has a sixhead." -Murry from Stranger Things if he was in the Russian prison instead of Hopper. -"I didn’t zoom in on the paper he’s holding, but I’m assuming it says “Anything Helps”" -A “ sadhu “ that’s post on Reddit? 😂 -Fucking where’s baldo looking ass -A face only a Maha Kali could love. -I had no idea Rick Rubin could look more like a homeless guy but then you appeared -"How are you gonna claim to be Saddhu? -Your ignorance will forever prevent your enlightenment. -You have clearly skipped the teachings of the enlightened. -You cannot simply adopt the term Saddhu and then claim to be part of that. -12 years service in the ash pits of the crematorium. -Denouncing all possessions is also expected of you. Yet here you are taking and posting selfies while wearing sunglasses. -Surely the Hindu and Buddha gods must see you as a mockery and bless you with the bad karma." -"Whatever you are, you look like you do it so people will see pictures of you doing it." -My guy looks like a regular show character -This can’t be real. -you look like a homeless man and your dog is cute -Q-anon Sadhu -You look like the Hare Krishna and Scientology both rejected you. -6 years since he began looking for his hairline. The search continues -SADHU……Soap And Deodorant Have Use…..take note. I’d bet money you play the tambourine ina ska band. On your best day you smell like Fritos. -Sad -"Let me guess, you are anti kapatalista, barely take showers and you did a yoga course for 2 weeks and now are an expert." -If captain jack sparrow had a white brother who wanted to be Indian. -All that hair but none up there. -I don’t kick on those who are already down bad -You look like a NPC we meet in a game that sells oils -"Grant me my 3 wishes, wtf" -"Ok, you had your fun on reddit, now take the time machine and go back to the 60s." -This guy is a Monty Python Life of Brian extra. -"LOL, this idiot thinks he's a sadhu and thinks other people think he's a sadhu. You know this idiot was protesting against Corona control measures and vaccines and using those demos for his grift to get more people to buy his fake services." -Fletch? -Missing “man” in sadhu. -"You are more like SAD-Hu -( I am sad for those who dont get hindi)" -sad u -You look like you have allegations but then decided to leave the country to become a “sadhu” -"Sup cult leader wannabe? - -Is this the Walmart version?" -Holy shit it's dirtier version of jesus! -I bet his scrotum is just a hackey sack -Tell me you are white without telling me your white -I’d call you Peruvian Jesus but even he didn’t look like a hobo that much and he literally wore rags at some point. -Sad who? -Sadhu? More like sad ho -Which crystals gave off the energy to make you wear a prom dress casually? -*Takes LSD once* -Just looking at your photos is giving me a B12 deficiency. -Thought this was a post from r/bald -"Idiots of the Non-Indian: ""The Curse of the White Wannabe"" - - Set sail with Jimmy Derp as Swami Jack Sorrow as he tries to navigate the hilarious waters of needless white guilt by posing as an ascetic Indian guru. A truley good romp through an entire faith that spans the globe from Los Angeles and Seattle all the way to India and back again. - - - You'll laugh your way through this pathetic attempt of one man's journey to discover his true self... an idiot." -"Ok, I looked up sadhu. Pretty sure you shouldn’t be on fucking reddit." -Fuck a cat-fish my man's a hat-fish -Pics you can smell -"Midjourney, please create me the remake of Midsommar, but smellier" -"All hail the living embodiment of the holy spaghetti monster! - -May you all touch his noodley appendage. -Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R’amen”" -"I’ve been to India dude. If you were a sadhu you’d be naked, hungry, and smeared with ashes. You definitely wouldn’t be taking selfies, eating out of your trust fund, and getting roasted on Reddit. Lol I try to be nice to people on the internet but this is pathetic. Also buy some fucking Rogaine." -"Ah yes, the American sadhu. When you think you're better than everyone but are too lazy to wash your balls." -"You became ""sadhu"" just to be a first class beggar in third world country didn't you?" -The dreads are supposed to go on top of your head. -"I’m 37 and you look ten years older than me. Whatever you’re doing ain’t working, homie." -You on Reddit? Say bye bye to your 6 year kãma streak. -2024 Guiness Book of World Records for the largest pubic bush. It’s consumed much of his body except for the tip. -Dude looks like shaggy after Scooby dies of old age and he can't find another dog that speaks -Dan Bilzerian in the gutters lately -Good to see trustafarians are still a thing. -The example used when teachers say weed is a gateway drug. -"All that hair, and you still had to hide your most prominent feature. At least it keeps your dome from blinding people during the day." -Wouldn't be the first time you were down for a peg. -This person was born in the 90s. You're roasting us. -You look like you cut the soles of your sneakers out so you can still walk barefoot around Walmart. -"the dreads aren't doing you any favors, you look culturally insensitive at BEST. if Rob Zombie couldn't make it work, you probably can't either" -Basically you're going to be doing the same thing you used to do in your trailer and smoke weed and scratch your nuts but now you have a title to it. -"Your asceticism must be to abstain from good manners if you're running around with a bluetooth speaker in public. Seriously, could you look any more touristic?" -Keep that hat on at all times -How many times have you been bummed in those 6 years? -Shows up to the Furry Party looking like a Tortise shell -Let’s start calling hobos sadhus to solve the housing crisis in the US. -You’re hair tried to escape reality and you just followed. -First picture looks like a micro penis peaking out of pubes. -Looks like a bunch of dinglings on a hemorrhoid -Bro. Effort to comb that shit over -There’s other ways to go about being bald. -"""Sadhu"" must be the non-binary term for ""Sad Human.""" -"You forgot the “m”, “a”, and “n” after “sadhu”." -Fulfilling moksha for this dude means finally washing his ass -Unemployment final boss -Literally flipping us off in the fifth picture. We’re supposed to do the roasting here! -SadHuManBeing? -Man is probably a really nice person. All just jokes 😂 -Nice sidelocks -"6 years a sadhu, 33 years a virgin." -Homie looks like he's all knowing and owns a petting zoo not a roast nice beard -I thought your face was upside down… -You could dip your beard in hot water and make a savory broth for ramen. -You look like a video game NPC who when approached triggers a cutscene and a mission. -Its dangerous to go alone.. TAKE THIS -As so much white guilt he became a indian man! -did you ever find wilson? -I'm more interested in what drove you to become a Sadhu. -"Good day to you, Rasputin. Please give my regards to the Tsar." -a sadhu more like a sad O -You look like you barely won the title fight with dysintery -You look like you unclogged your shower drain with your mouth -You look like the name bear grylls -The unvaccinated child of Jack Sparrow an the Una Bomber -Maybe stop walking on water and once in a while get in it? -"Ol' ""I died for your sins"" face ass." -You look like an escaped convict or mental patient that’s trying to get caught on Reddit but they’re actually glad you escaped and don’t want you back -Some people shouldn’t start smoking weed -"Congrats, not only do you look like someone that makes pesticide salesmen seem upstanding, but you've failed st being a sadhu by bring on reddit (can't exactly say you've renounced the worldly life but be utilizing the internet/technology)." -Wackadooo -You look like a red dead Random encounter. -"So nowadays, if you’re a total failure and you end up on the streets, you just call yourself a SaDhU and try to convince people that you want to lead this life instead of just saying “I’m too fucking lazy to work, that’s why I’m homeless and smell bad”." -Is your dog's name Wilson? Do you live on an island? -comment -"I hate to break it to you, you're still getting pulled over." -Choose a team buddy - He sits in the middle of the bus -Your pigment is abandoning you like it was your dad. -You look like my two year old started drawing you and gave up half way through -“It don’t matter if you’re black or white” - Michael Jackson -"Oh, congrates on your credit score rising!" -I can’t believe you’d post a pic of yourself wearing terribly done blackface -Bro has an n pass but is racist when he says the n word -Wasn't the exposed skin on the robbers mask supposed to tan and not the other way around? -When you haven't committed a crime in a while. -I refuse the low hanging fruit. You have a Donald Glover hairline. -That white privilege is coming in nicely. Few more years and you'll have to turn in that n-word pass. -You’re already roasted -Half of you knows your dad and the other half has a 400 credit score -Did your father go out for melanin and never came back ? -An oreo if it was a person. -Been sucking off Xenomorphs again? -I ordered well done but it's still pink inside. Send it back -Bros 13% innocent -My uncle has a cow with the same features -Looks like someone has already tried -That’s a really sick way of cultural appropriation -Bro give that dude his skin back -Racists have trouble with you -Did any other homeless guys survive the fire? -Looks like your mom's vagina was low on ink. -You gotta be either a miner or a chimney sweeper -“Tropic Thunder 2” looks awful -You got something where your vittles and eyes go -Never knew cum can stain the skin -"If you had red hair, you’d be Neapolitan." -What too much Little River Band does to a motherfucker. -This is what voting for trump does to a brotha. -Looks like you already were roasted and now peeling. -When did you start going straight and stop committing crime? -Kinda weird that god had you wear a mask and goggles when he was adding the color -I see your credit rating is improving... -When you haven't stolen anything in 6 months -"Wait a few more years, and you shouldn't have any trouble finding a job." -When you return the stolen goods….. -How many letters of the N word are you allowed to say -Law abiding semi-citizen -Officer there’s the white man wearing a ski mask! -I ain't roasting Batman -Do I shoot you or invite you over for a barbecue? -Bro out here lookin like a raccoon -Mammmmmyyyyyyyy -Did your parents run out of paint? -Your beard is dumb. -Wiggaboo -Chocolate Milk Dud -"Put the money in the bags, no small bills." -Looking like an inverse panda -MJ from wish -Its 2024….you cannot be trying to pull off blackface -Reverse panda -Neapolitan looking ass -You look like a good kisser -Are you allowed to say the N word or just like half of it maybe? -Looks like your last roast is starting to wear off. -"I’ll wait until you wipe that shit off your face to roast you, have some respect" -There’s a 50% chance this man’s a criminal… -Bro hasn’t shoplifted in a week -"Voted republican again, I see." -When you apply Nutella to your sandwich but don't even it out with your knife. -Tried to erase all 5 of his human senses with bleach -"Dude, let's talk about those fingernails." -It’s crazy how anybody can think of roasting you when even god gave up -"You're parents literally dug your ass out the mud. - -It would make a good rap bar, if nothing else." -Ma fucka could run a whole plantation himself -You need to cut them long ass shit infested fingernails. Now I gotta go shower after seeing the amount of dirt and literal shit you have caked under them bitches 🤢🤮 -Take off the ski mask 1st. -Bro looking like a twist cone on a hot day -You racist or oppressed? -bros textures stopped loading at 85% -You already been charred -consider it done. -"For fucks sake, cut your damn fingernails." -Bro is reversible Michael Jackson -Day 52 of not stealing: I'm noticing slight changes with my body and my credit score is gradually increasing. My father called. -When you’re eating ass and she sneezes -Slowly getting his credit score up I see… -Not roasting you brother. You're all good. -Looks like someone beat us to it -Dude's slowly turning into a Republican -I can’t roast you. Looks like god already did and took you out too early. -You look like a page in Michael J. Fox’s coloring book. -See everyone has good in them -"You are already roasted. By the way, there’s a casting call for aliens and you would be perfect for it" -I can tell you're working on improving your credit score. A couple more months and you'll be whiter than me. -Maybe if you took off that ski mask so we could see your face we could roast you effectively -You can only say half the n word lmao -You look like you didn't vote for joe biden. -"Based on your current trajectory, in two years you're going to be an Osmond." -Dude looks like he stopped stealing for a week -Credit score is going up. -God primed him and forgot to finish painting -When you don’t vote for Biden -It’s like you had white out on the end of some binoculars -"reverse michael jackson skin - -straight outta the trailer park - -He can't dance like MJ, but he can touch kids like MJ" -N word pass is about to run out on u -Call that shit black and mild -"""Wherever you go, I vitiligo"" is my favorite hymn." -Someone didn't learn the lesson of loving themself -My man's race is Camouflage -"I would roast you, but it looks as though you already have been roasted enough…" -When you haven't stolen anything in a while -Reverse panda 🐼 -"Bruh, he about ready to pull a Michael Jackson." -"Dudes got revitiligo, Uncle Ruckus wasn't the only one! - -Looks like it's late stage too, my condolences for your whiteness going away." -Roast you? You’re already charred. -Looks like you already roasted yourself. -HE'S A WHIGGA -Looks like you have been roasted by amateur cook who can\`t cook evenly. -Uncle Ruckus would like to swap conditions with you -Your credit score is slowly going up -"We’re supposed to roast you, not Robert Downey Jr on the set of Tropic Thunder…" -You missed a spot -In 15 years dudes gonna get cancelled for wearing black face -Patches -yo stop looking at barely sfw subreddits and find a girl of your own -Why is this dude in black face? -Could this count as black face? -If the bottom of a Bloomin' Onion was a person -"Cant roast you. Clearly, someone else already did that." -A human Rorschach test. -Okay Trudeau -Are you becoming a Jedi? (Because you’re leaving the dark side) 🤣🤣 -Put him back in for 5 more minutes. He's not done yet. -Are you trying to switch teams -He's like vanilla with the chocolate shell melted -Get black face the action figure (IT REALLY TURNS BROWN!) child support not included -Michael Jackson in process -Uncle Rukus had a kid? Damn bruh why you gotta reverse mask on -"Black face ain’t cool dude watch the news. -You’re the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude." -Legit can't tell if bro is losing the power to say the N-Word or gaining the ability to say it. -#OH NO MICHAEL JACKSON IS CHANGING BACK TO HIS ORIGINAL FORM 🙀🙀🙀🙀 -If you were my friend I'd call you ski mask -Bro could only say gga -"Bro you look great man even what I would call legendary. Rear even, ppl that roast you don’t understand how unique you are. Head up homie you gotta do something in this life try and change the world." -"I hate this reddit and don't know why it keeps being suggested to me. - -You look very handsome, - -I'd love to see a picture of you smiling. - -My mom has vitiligo, I get how hard the social stigma can feel. - -You're doing great, keep it up!" -Boy you were born roasted -I both do and don't want you as a neighbor. -Sorry about the vitiligo. -You look like a photo negative of Kung Foo Panda -It looks like you already were roasted... -neapolitan ice cream looking ass -Look at this racist wearing blackface -I think your parents left you soon after they started noticing you had vitiligo... -Does BLM accept you? -Is this a robbery? -You are still an igga -You look like a pandabear from the phantom zone -Cut your nails for crying out loud. -I hope you are recovering after acid attack -This is what happens when you’re not in jail and don’t abandon your kids. You turn white -Why the long brown and white face? -What do your homies call you? Gringger? -Is this what they mean by biracial? -Bet you loved 101 Dalmatians when you were a kid -Another replika -You a cow. -I thought it wasn’t appropriate to be in Blackface -Looks like you’re trying to do blackface. -Winnie Harlow Evil Twin -A tanning salon bed is not a good place to fall asleep -Here’s mud in your eye (to match the tones of your grill) -Fried chicken -"Sun burn just around the eyes, nose, and mouth must suck." -Michael Jackson Man newest member of the avengers -Bro using mask for N pass -Your parents told you what would happen if you didn’t take that Bat Man mask off. -Blackface is mot cool bro -Bro's DNA can't decide if it wants to be black or white. -Acid wash skin is so 2000 and late -Did you draw on that beard in MS Paint? -CatboyKami in parrarel universe. -Your shirt looks like a tote bag -You look like you’re about to rob someone -We’re you part of a MK Ultra experiment where they tried to create hybrids of Pandas and people with chocolate milk coloured skin 🤣😍 -Look like someone beat us to the roasting. -Looks like you've been half roasted -"Looks like you were roasted too long. Luckily we can tell the parts covered in tin foil - - -P.S. I also have vitiligo, most of the right side of my face and facial hair is white. I look like a bootleg batman villain when I wear a suit" -"Dude,don’t." -Look on the bright side. Your future is so bright you gotta wear shades -"It looks like you tried, but the oven shut off." -You've sucked so much dick that you have worn the black off your face. You have to be popular! -Looks like you're half done already -Roast you? It's well over time to take you out mate. -"You, sir, have already been roasted" -Fuck you reverse panda -I'm glad I'm not too late. Looks like you're still only partially roasted. -You already cooked -"I wish I also had white privileges, but getting an autoimmune disease is just not they way to go about it, bro" -"You are the textbook definition of black, white and read all over." -I can tell from this picture you got a bad credit score. - Half baked -When you see your kids 20% of the time -Let’s be nice can’t you see his god awful black face bros be looking like he got hit by a truck and the police shot him -Chess themed -Looks like the police did not care about the black face and still shot -Side effect of always going down on a white girl. -"When her dad says she can't date a black dude. - - - -Jokes aside you have some dope lines from vitiligo." -Bro has only 2 more swipes left of the pass -No need. Look roasted enough already. -"Mr Big to Mr Kananga - -*quite revealing!*" -"Congratulations on not stealing anything for 2 weeks, keep it up buddy!" -When bro didn’t steal anything for 2 weeks. -You look like Cleveland from family guy mid race swap -"When you want to experience just a little white privilege, but stay loyal to your homies." -You already a burnt marshmallow -"I hate to say it, but I hope vit-ili-go’s badly for you. 😎" -You know how when you use the color drop tool in MS paint it does splotches because some pixels are a shade off? Thats what happened when God was filling you in. -"You look already roasted, I don't anyone out us has to actually roast you more" -"on the plus side, if you wear a ski mask while doing crime, theyll be looking for a white guy" -"Bruh…you’re the equivalent of a shiny Pokémon. Rare af. Congrats on winning the lottery, my dude." -Strategically white for the balaclava -Only reason girls have sex with you is because they're afraid. -"""HEY! You can't wear a ski mask in a bank you... oh... sorry.""" -Damn uncle Rukus (no relation) finally gettin his wish -My guy came standard with a black ski mask… -Neither race wants you -Looks like it’s already been done 😬 -your white face is coming through -Ahhh the ole blackface routine is back -This a negative picture of a raccoon? -3/4 nigga -The winner of the worlds peek-a-boo contest. -"Turns out Michael Jackson was right, bleaching your skin is better than looking like that" -You gotta dip yourself one more time -Bro has discharge on his face -Least he don’t have to wear a balaclava -"It looks like, despite your best efforts, your credit score is starting to rise." -"In a ski mask, you’d actually look non-threatening." -Think someone already tried to do that but only got about 80% of the way through before giving up. -I cant tell if you started stealing or stopped. -When your credit score starts creeping up. -Bro look like a stale swisher 😂 -Your ceiling looks like shit. -Cows get BBQd sorry -"""We got a code black"" - Uncle Ruckus" -I bet you're fun when the cops pull you over -Got milk? -The next prime Minister of Canada ? -I think you missed a few spots -"Which member of Insane Clown Posse are you? Kind of Black, Steve?" -Your face is already half roasted. -"If you start stealing or make kid and abandon him you will heal up, rapping and eating watermelon chicken may also works." -Put on a balaclava. I just want to see something real quick. -Looks like you’ve already been roasted -He looks like reverse robin. Nibor. -Ahhhhhh I see you’re transitioning. -"what in the reverse raccoon, living in mamas basement is going on here.... I think this is the thirstiest 11 day account I've ever seen in the roast me section, you should know we see it all." -Fattie Harlow -Dude can’t decide if he want to be black or white -Were u wearing glasses and a face mask when the bomb went off? -Roast you? Looks like someone already tried. -his pigmentation is taking the underground railroad up to Canada -Bluds a zebra -"Well, look at the bright side, you never have to buy a ski mask the next time you rob a bank" -Uncle ruckus in his ideal universe. -Bro you’ve been roasted already -My man just got in from Hell week... proud of you. Now take a shower and get that shit off you. -You already look like you've been roasted slightly. -"Unfortunately, I can only roast the skin around your eyes, nose, and mouth." -Are you chocolate or vanilla? -You came preroasted -"If I roasted you any more, you'd be ash" -Already look a bit roasted to me dude -Ngl I feel like bro is sad reading these replies yall should be nice to him like yall did that little white girl who was talking about some she needs a reason to drink -Bro stopped stealing and is turning white now - congrats! -Neopolitan Nilla -You’re half way there! -Bro you can't do black face in 2024... -Bro is a fucking reverse raccoon -"Looks like someone already did, unevenly too" -This is what happens when Thanos snaps his fingers and the simulation crashes -You produce nappy milk -Already roasted -"https://avoidpuzzle.blogspot.com/?m=1 - -I made a game its pretty fun bet you cant get 200k points" -look like a well done bologna slice -"God already roasted you, bro." -Reversed racoon? -Refreshing to see there’s a little good in everyone -🤣🤣🤣🤣😩😩😩 -lookin like someone did blackface🤣 fr though vitiligo makes you look cool af -Roast ya? You’re already extra crispy. -All I see is a roast me sign -"So when you get locked up who's side you on, white or black?" -"Really bro, black face? Not cool." -"Bro, white liberals must hate you." -Blackface is just so 1993. -🙉 -Inside every black man is a white man trying to get out. -Reverse panda -Can't tell if the OP is being racist or reverse racist. -Nah you’re already half roasted. Momma tried to abort your ass early -Someone already has -"Dude the oven left you mid rare, mid overcooked." -Why do you hold your camera that low? So we can’t see ur small pp? -They already did…Roast me ! -I would but it looks like someone already tried to -i’m not roasting a burn victim -14% rights -Reverse Racoon -U look like a need to commit one more crime to unlock the full skin -"He tells the young kids, he is where chocolate milk comes from." -That must have been one hell of a sunburn. -VitigliNo -Tell me you haven’t stolen anything in a while without telling me you haven’t stolen anything in a while -comment -"You look like a virgin that's never been in a real life relationship, works at a gas station, & lives in Florida." -How is a 26 year old virgin Grandmother even possible?!?!?! -You know your phone is greasy as hell when yo pics start coming out like Bill Cosby gave me a drink 🤣 -I don't remember Hermes from Futurama getting a sex change... -binkini bottom ass fit bruh -"Well, you're dressed to attract moths" -You're single because no one knows your gender. -That dress is accurately predicting the progression of your already uninspiring breasts over the coming years -"It appears that you also \*live\* in the gas station bathroom... - -What makes it bad is when it's a gas station bathroom \*in Florida\* 😒" -Lauryn no Hill -If I ever had to imagine a Femincel it would have looked exactly like you. -You forgot to mention that you also have terrible taste in clothing. -your face/hair/glasses style makes you look 50! -You live in Florida. You’ve already been roasted enough. -"Aww, you'd be kinda hot if you didn't look like you." -"No one watches your only fans  - -They block it " -"You either gotta replace or adjust the glasses, right now they just make your eyes buggy ah" -You look like a grandma whose grandkids call meemaw -You look like if CJ from GTA was female -You’re never gonna be in a relationship. Buy your cats now!! -You look like one of the many characters in Nutty Professor played by Eddie Murphy. -There really isn't anything to add -I can fix only one of those problems 💀 -Florida Man. -Even the pearl necklace won't go near your face -"When I see virgin older than about 18, typically that means they haven’t come to terms with what kind of person is actually in their league. It’s past time to settle." -1930s meets 2024 -"Usually when a virgin says ""destroy me"" I comply. Not this time, pass." -"You look like one of those poophole loophole ""virgins""" -I see you have been fishing through Grandma's closet again. Make sure to put them back away with the moth balls when you're done playing dress-up. -"“I’d destroy you.” --The soap" -"26 year old virgin that says a lot about your personality. Any woman can slip and fall and land on a dick, but you can't seem to find one... 🤔" -"Ashy lip having ass. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Don't lick your lips now. I see you." -Martin Luther Queen -"After seeing you, for the first time ever I'm starting to think that there are more than two genders." -The new cast for the little mermaid is on! -"U didn't have to say the virgin part, we knew." -"this sub is scratching its head with this one because whenever it’s an old or ugly or fat woman the roasts are about her being old or ugly or fat, and whenever it’s an attractive woman the roasts are about her being a slut. - -But this is a young, thin, attractive woman, and we can’t call her a slut because she’s a virgin! oh no, what do we do?! - -Anyway, maybe you’re still a virgin because whenever potential suitors come over they immediately think of their grandma when they walk into your bathroom. - -if they don’t pass out from the smell of potpourri & cat litter first ." -It makes sense! -No shit you are from Florida. -Destroyed already with that bio -"Meant to be trailer trash, is actually swamp trash." -"Of everything you listed, I’m most sad that you live in Florida" -I read it wrong at first and thought they said they live in a gas station. -looks like you work at a gas station and the hotdogs are always missing -"On the bright side, you could change literally anything about yourself and it would be an improvement" -"You're in Florida and can't even get a Cuban man to date you? - -You must cook as terrible as you dress." -GTA IV hooker -Your hair looks like burnt noodles. -Wtf is that top… hooker Ariel? -I completely believe you are a 26-year-old virgin who works at a gas station in Florida and has never been in a real life relationship. -Two words: Diversity Hire -Ive never seen a black scrub brush before. -You look like you auditioned for the new little mermaid movie and didn't make the cut -Get your nerdy looking ass up out of here lol.. with them goofy as glasses you ain't gonna get no dik Noor puss lol. Get some contacts -"The self roast is strong here, so I guess just keep at it." -You look like every not-fun aunty -"No shit, you look like Steve Urkel. " -Black roast matters..lets roast her -Lesbian means you'll always be a virgin right? -"For sale: pink house, black shutters… needs a new roof … perfect starter home" -"Ok so, I don't care about the roast. What I want to know is how many DMs you got from people telling you that they'll show you a real relationship lol" -That's the only Pearl necklace you'll ever wear. No guys going to nut on your chest. -Are we not going to talk about the tits full of pearl necklace? -I can tell by how far apart your eyes are that your mother drank heavily while pregnant. -"Change your glasses, they don't fit you" -"Anti roast: you're doing just fine. Fuxk relationships, they're overrated and based on lies most of the time. Sex is bullshit and you can achieve more in that realm on your own, trust me..." -Wanna bang in the bathroom of your Wawa? -This is the wildest onlyfans advertisement I've seen all week. -You're me 10 years ago except hot. I can't roast you. Sorry dude. -You will start your sexual journey and proceed to get ran through by undeserving jerks. Then after a couple years you will say all men are evil bc of the poor decisions you made exploring your sexuality. -"Looking at these pics, I'm thinking hoarder. You've got more coats in your bathroom than most people have in their closets. - -BTW, dude you are totally not passable." -You are the plot for a really bad Kevin Hart movie. -What’s left to destroy? -bible thumper -I would rather fuck Whoopi Goldberg -Stop sniffing the 93 octane! -You look like Ursula trying to cosplay Ariel -Yeah right...the only thing that's a virgin is your nostrils and ear holes. -"Holy shit, with that blog, it sounds like you already destroyed yourself." -You look like you run an OnlyFans where people pay you to keep your clothes on. -"So, how are your grandnephews and grandnieces doing?" -Quit wearing a chandelier as a top -You look like Lauryn Hill watching white people buy her music. -"Your queefs smell like Popeyes Chicken, stupidity and ignorance with a hint of cheap perfume." -The only thing you’re getting up is this comment section.. -"If you dress like Velma, maybe you'll find a dick in a costume." -Your hair gives MJ immediately after his lit up vibes. Shave that nest off try again -"A virgin, you say? Nah, at the very least, you've had your cock sucked" -I would roast you except you already did that yourself -Come to minnesota and ill destory you with a night of sexual disapointment. -"No need to, life did already" -Imagine working at a gas station and never been filled up before! You must have a weird laugh and stinky feet to scare people away. -She already lives in Florida. I don’t think I could say anything to make her life any worse. 🤔 -You're 26 and still a virgin you roasted yourself -You look like you use your head to mop the floors at your job -The Miseducation of Poor-n-Chill. -Spike Lee daughter looking ass loool -Please wash the gas pump after you use it to pleasure yourself -"Unda da sea, unda da sea" -Don't listen to all this hate. Your pancake syrup is delicious -Good lord I haven’t seen a gas station employee in go isn’t from the Middle East since the 80s. Your life decisions have been the opposite of good. -Pixar’s Soul producers called they want their inspiration for the main character back for a sequel -You sure as hell dress like virgin -Do we really need to roast her? She already did all the work -Gas station... corner? -You look like a Nigerian princess scammer -Why she look like Tyler the creator got bitten by a hive of bees w that swollen ahh face -Goodwill called..they want that dress back -You meant to say you're an anal virgin working the corner at the gas station. Wrong sub hun. -There is absolutely nothing we can do that life has not already done to you. -"What are you a virgin? I mean, you shouldn't have a problem getting it.., I've seen people who hang out at gas stations & they will bang anything." -There is nothing wrong with the way you live your own life! Revel in your time... -Florida virginity means she’s only done anal -"You get an employee discount at that gas station? If so, we can knock two things off this list real quick." -Oh ima destroy you alright😩 -The amount of people who fantasize about fucking hermes from Futurama in a clamshell dress while being asked how much gas they want on pump 8 isn't very many? -I don’t need to destroy you; you did the work for me. -Nature already destroyed you. There’s no need for us to add more. -Are you Egyptian? Because you have built a soap pyramid behind your shoulder. -please for the love of god wipe your front camera. -Do you like fish dicks? -Definition of a Texas hooker that's been ordered from temu. com -You roasted yourself 🤡 -You look like you tell everyone youre a virgin by choice -"Your a 26 year old virgin female? Congratulations. You’re the last virgin on earth. Don’t rush into anything. Marry for love, have children. Be happy. Your beautiful. Young. I wish you the best. Be safe out there." -The only way I can destroy you is in bed. -Congrats on being the one black chick that didn’t get knocked up in high school -"If you work at a Florida gas station, a customer will destroy you more than we ever can. Have fun dying a virgin at a Florida gas station holdup." -You look like a single mother of 5 kids -Are you waiting for the third coming? or in this case the first. -"Judging from the outfit you're wearing, while you may be a virgin, you've worn many a pearl necklace" -yeah that title checks out -Life already destroyed you.. no need for more agony -"Do you know what ""virgin"" means?" -So you are unleaded? -That dress lost you every job outside of a gas station. Worked wonders for your fake relationships though. -Omg you live in Florida? You monster!! -I think life’s already destroyed you tbh -" -You must be a 26 old virgin for a reason..you probably have more red flags than a referee 🤔" -"That's what 26 looks like in Florida? - -What kind of disgusting chemicals are they putting in the water down there?" -The chest on your dress seems like your compensating for something -You cute 😍!! -"Fuck a roast, that dress with the pearls is gorgeous and you look very nice in it." -Will not roast you. You are sweet. -Was the picture taken in the gas station bathroom? -Your not that fast -"The only memorable thing about you is being from florida, and that's thank to the meme" -"> I live in Florida - -You saved the most depressing part for last." -"If you live in the Northern part of Florida, I can solve that virginity problem for you. 😈" -Living in Florida is punishment enough. Get out into real life... move to Seattle or something. -I have a suggestion about your situation .. Did aliens transition you without your knowledge? -No comment. -I'd love to destroy you -Greasy ass phone -There’s no need to roast you. I mean you have to look at yourself everyday in the mirror and see a 26 year old virgin that works in a gas station in lives in Florida -Tell me you hate yourself without telling me you hate yourself. -I'd destroy you -You live in Florida. Haven't you been punished enough? -Nah man life roasted you more than I can. -You for real bought that dress just for this post didn't you??? And then wrote roast me on the facking tag 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 -26?! -The last sentence is what you want to say to any customer at the gas station who accidentally grazes your hand. -Move! -"Well Ariel, working at a gas station is what happens when you fail your algae-bra." -Id say your life is destroyed enough without our help. Maybe you can can start to improve it by going to a retirement home and asking for more stylish grandma clothes later. -"> I’m 26, a virgin, never been in a real life relationship, work at a gas station, & I live in Florida" -"You get on a train in NYC like this, for two hours, 50 guys will be trying to get your number. " -Why baby your great looking -Let's get married lol -No need for me to say anything…you’ve already done your worst -She looks like the MC to every crappy horror movie that takes place in more southern regions of the US. -You kinda took the fun outta this one not gonna lie. -"Rest assured, any pics you may have posted online have not been masturbated to so they also to will remain virgins." -At least its still tight if you aint reamed it out with a dil -wtf are you wearing like wtf -Nah -If Gus Fring had a daughter -There is not much we can that Florida has not -U look like a man -How? -"No need, u did it urself" -I can see why -U pay people to join ur onlyfans -"I dont have to, you already live in florida" -I can never roast someone thats life is so drastically already roasted i would say you hit rock bottom in life but you already know that harshly i bet you and your mother are roomates and your dad only meet you two times and both times he was disappointed… the only thing you have to look foward to is your virginity but after loosing that then youll loose the one bargaining chip you have -"Your vocabulary sucks because you're not allowed to say ""climate change.""" -Roast you not a chance you look beautiful and I bet you are sweet. -Let me know you more than dis -"""THIRTYDOLLARPUSSAAAAAAY!""" -"Ugly Florida mf can't even find a real peice of paper - -(Too much?)" -Totally would though -Worst part of all that is “I live in Florida” lol -I like ur glasses :) -you’re very pretty -"On the bright side…. If you lead with the fact that you live in FL, then the rest of it just makes sense" -"How do you expect us to roast you when you already did with your post title, Ursula?" -Love that top! -Obviously -"Virgin, but not the first time OP has been covered in pearl necklaces..." -I thought people be saying these clam shells have pearls in them… these one just holding self pitty and depression -Florida. -"Way to go against the mold. I would have picked you for the boring old lady librarian who goes home to her house that's empty of everything except more books and too many cats. - -Instead you shot for the stars and now you're a gas station worker. In Florida too!" -I'll pay you tree fiddy -You're Alabama vampire. 300 years old. You steal hearts. Then eat them -No need to roast you. You live in FL. -"Being a virgin, I'm sure anyone with more than 2 inches would be able to destroy you." -You live in Florida? Thoughts and prayers. That's already pretty bad on top of your crappy life. -At least you were smart enough to keeo the receipt for that dress -"Can’t, the heat’s already done it" -That dress only looks good in flordia -And I'm 16... Nice try 40 yr old -Bless your heart -I can’t do it. You’re pretty and I like your top. -"""Destroy me."" -No, it's miracle enough you've managed to convince anyone to put that much effort into acknowledging your existence." -Didn’t need the caption to tell me all this -Raspusha on Wegovey ! -You probably talk like an expert about relationships on Twitter. -Anyone notice the ghost with white weavey dreadlocks in the mirror 🪞 -You didn’t have to tell us you’re a virgin. -So all day long you put a nozzle that shoots liquid into a hole and in your time off you’ve never once thought to reverse roles???? -"Well, that dress alone is the reason your life is the way it is…." -"Looks like you fucked this up big time. -I mean just look, broken everywhere. -Looks like a forklift smashed into it, but enough about your life." -"No need, you seem to have destroyed yourself. The dress helped." -You roasted yourself! -"I can fix the virgin part, but the rest will be on you, man. (Assuming that you are actually a man.)" -"Girl did you write ""Roast Me"" on a hair tie package? Can you not afford like...paper? Oh yeah, Florida who works at a gas station. Nvm disregard my question." -The addition of “and I live in Florida” has me dying. -"At this rate, this will be the only place you'll be able to use that phrase." -Show me them meth teeth girl -How bad do you act to be a woman is isn’t a virgin on purpose at 26 years old -"None of our efforts will come close to life and how it has roasted you. Also, why no relationship? Genuine question." -Man or woman? -you look like someone who thinks they are the main character -I’d smash. No cuddling though -"you live in Florida, I dont think I can come up with a meaner thing to say lol" -"Qué decís? Esta chica es guapa, tiene buen cuerpo😍, además de NO parecer un tío ni de lejos. Ya la quisierais mas de la mitad de los que la rosteáis" -You have the most unpleasant straight face Ive seen in a while 😐 -And you will stay that way. -At least ur cute -That hand writing says it all.. -"Why are you a virgin, I'd tap" -"By the looks of her closet in the second pic, I’m guessing that dress smells like a herring boat on a hot summers day. Good luck with the clam bake!" -"I would have never guessed, that there was a 26 year old virgin alive." -Is that a zombie broccoli phone case? -Not going to lie I would do the honors 😂 -Wth -You should probably be a lesbian because no man would ever want to touch someone that looks like you. -I think I know why you're a virgin. -Seems like you already did -When the drapes match the drapes. -Spent last week’s entire check on that outfit -"if someone says they've never been in a real life relationship, does that mean she canoodles with the corpse of her recent prey? with those soulless eyes I would 100% believe it" -Swamp Urkel. -If 'the vagina cleans itself' cosplayed as a loofah -Damn an incel woman in Florida? That is quite an accomplishment. -Well let me Introduce you to a seriously BBC -You look like that you will smell like you have cats. -A girl you can't get laid? You did all the work for us! No need for more roasts -Ain’t nothing left to destroy here. Clearly your whole life already taken care of that. -God bless Reddit. -You look like what chat gpt would spit out if I typed in your own self description -No thnx. -"I mean, you didn't have to mention you're a virgin. The photo screams that already!" -"You pretty,live and break out." -First you gotta love yourself before getting roasted -“Destroy me” is words you will new be able to speak to a man -She'll be the crazy cat lady in 6 months -"I'm a virgin, I've never been in a real life relationship, and work at a gas station. Here - tell these people something they don't know about me" -I think your beautiful -"A Fish Called LeWanda, the sequel." -You put the F in frigid -Your style says your 60 and an avid collector of vintage vibrators -That's not how this works -Nothing to roast. Save yourself for the one and go for your dreams. You’re extremely attractive. -Claudette from DBD! -What part of Florida -Stop stealing outfits from 1920’s era corpses! Gatsby won’t be calling. -I would have said your post Verbatim from the pictures alone. -"Looks like …. A 26, a virgin, that’s never been in a real life relationship, work at a gas station, lives in Florida and also moved there for the free abortions" -We know!!! No bio required -You hold your phone like a fucking maniac. -"Please, just get the fuck out of Florida." -Where did you get that hair? Walmart leftover bin? Your a virgin as much as Stormy Daniels only she doesn't have a herpes face to deal with. 😁 -We know!!! -You just need to find the right dirty blonde mullet Florida man. -"Was not necessary to say that you are a virgin, the dress and your hair speak this for you." -Are you a guy or girl? -I feel like I already did. -"Before I get on that ass, I’m curious about your outfit" -I think life has already done that -Sock or bra money is not allowed in my conscience store. -Dm me -You're dressed like you steal mermaid voices. -I knew there was something wrong. Florida is going to do way more damage than anyone here could do to you. -the most embarrassing part is that you live in the same state as enzo (I’m enzo) -You live in Florida... you've been punished enough -"And I am 50 never been in real relationship ( was all fake 😅) work in chicken factory and still virgin too, lets roast together baby 🤪" -Camel wides please -I think you're really pretty! (: -Maybe smile and you’ll get laid!?! -You already roasted yourself -Life has already destroyed you... What could we mere mortals possibly do to make it worse? -She's still waiting for the right pump to fill that tank.😉 -"City bus driver ,they don't get laid either" -"I live in Florida. Relationships are overrated anyway. Don’t feel bad. That shows you respect yourself and don’t give it away to just anyone. HMU if you wanna chat sometime. 420/710 friendly. - -Roast. You look like you’re about to get mad at me for saying something stupid -." -"All kidding aside, you look really sweet. If it makes you feel any better, I'm 24, a virgin, work in a factory, and live in Oklahoma. I dunno if you have discord or play videogames or anything, but, I'd be glad to be your friend." -I was going to rip you a new one until it said Florida at the end. Then I thought that there’s nothing I can say. If I say something it might make your situation better. -Gorgeous. Great lips and unsure eyebrows. Still very attractive but the penne noodle hair has to be cooked and fried off. I'd wine you. -"You are going to have a great career, for now I’ll take $20 on #4." -You destroyed yourself girl -Oh it’s Transgender. All this makes sense now. -"How can you possibly still be a virgin, when life has fucked you over so thoroughly?" -That light looking brighter then your future -"Judging by the sheer volume of mouthwash you have, I think I know why you've never been in a relationship..." -You spend to much time in ur head don't ya i mean just look at the old post u have on some of other the subs -You make Brittany Griner seem feminine and pretty. -I think Florida beat us to it. -Seems like you're destroying yourself just fine without us. -I'd hit dat -You look like you ask me about my late books from the library in elementary -I’m sure that even a young man like you will find love -This shit roasts itself -"Bullshit. Everyone knows Florida females come factory with ankle bracelet, dui car monitor and probation." -I guess even the Florida man decided it was better to stay away -"that head looks like it is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. it has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. it is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs , emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. god has no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. the fact that this ham monolith exists proves that god is either impotent to alter his universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom." -I think all of these things could’ve been determined without the caption. -"Damn, the little mermaid reboot is depressing" -Why you gotta bring up Florida like it's a problem😞 -I don't understand why people do this to themselves -Genuinely don’t have anything bad to say about u -You have an iphone and still take the SHITTIEST picture known to man. -Just wait you become a wizard -lil tecca -Come on bro don’t be so hard on yourself I’m sure you’ll find a chick -Whattttt no way -Definitely not Naples. -Bro back up from the camera we not playing fnaf💀 also when did they add a black animatronic? -You said it all -"You do know that ‘virgin’ means someone who has never engaged in intercourse and not someone who dresses like an extra in a nightclub scene in an Abbot and Costello movie, right?" -You might want plastic surgery or get more to try it make the mistakes look better -Aren't you roasted already lol -Your cute -"The heck! 26 and virgin?! Does that still exist! Yo I hope you get a great husband that deserves your value! Very impressive! But you've gotta look for the menopause🥲 Babies aren't made after that lol. I'm 21, boy, single, and virgin too by the way🧑‍🦯" -"Even going online has kept you a virgin, as making this post, you’ve still only fucked yourself" -I would but your face already is -26 ? you like 40 -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -"You’re a 3am eight, and an 8am three " -"Single mom, hometown bar fly, would go down on you for a basket of onion rings." -How come you didn’t go with Brit-Neigh as a user name? -"Nice beaver - - - - - - -Teeth" -Draw on some better eye brows and put your teeth back in your fucking mouth -Teethal Weapon -"Should I just go get my manager, now?" -You could eat an apple through a picket fence -Who ordered the Marjorie Taylor Greene kit from Wish? -Ms. Ed 🤣 -How many trees have you chewed down -You must give blow jobs with a warning label! -Bold of Marjorie Taylor Greene to do a roast me -New fear unlocked: country Pixar mom... 😬 -you look like you do anal to keep them interested a little longer -"Come here, Girl. Got a carrot for ya. Gooood horse." -I bet you become even more annoying after your second bottle of Chardonnay -Your dentist charges by the acre -You look like a bargain bin Marjorie Taylor Greene. -Teeth look like a row of urinals. -Sorry you didn’t win the Kentucky Derby. -"Whoever makes your camera filter, you need to send them $10 for the amount of heavy lifting they've done for you" -How many hours a day do you spend brushing your teeth?  -"Fun fact - Beaver dams can act as a natural filter for water travelling downstream... your phone on the other hand, has many unnatural filters that you're far too old to be using, get off the internet Mom" -You look like you make the worst potato salad -Never seen teeth extensions before -you would look better if you smiled with ur mouth closed… sorry 😭 -It's funny how you seem to have exactly one facial expression. It starts getting creepy though when you have to attend a funeral. Or fart in public. -"When your momma is 1/8 xenomorph and your dad's bugs bunny. - -Teeth so large they get a separate vote. - -If you get old and "" long in the tooth "" we are all fucked." -"I don't wanna even imagine what it looks like when you're trying to bite something. - -I bet people don't tell ""horse walks into a bar"" jokes around you." -Majorie Taylor Greene's stunt double -"You look like you say ""Whoopsies!"" a lot during sex" -you were probably hot AF in the early 60s -You look like a teacher that’s fucks her students -The only constant thought she has is “Is it made of wood?” -That first one looks like an analog horror jumpscare -You should really gnaw on some tree trunks to file those teeth down. -You look like you peaked in High School and still talk about it like you did something. -Your neck looks like taking off a condom -More filters than AutoZone -"I can feel the judgment ooozing from your pics … the other PTA moms probably have some funny nicknames for you. - -Cruella Mouthgrille comes to mind." -You should smile less. -You look like you could play both roles at the Tijuana donkey show. -"Let's place Horseface Bingo: - -At least one Live, Laugh, Love chachki that she keeps 'ironically' -Losing the battle with her own weight against the test of time -Trying really hard to pretend that the novelty of being in a relationship with an asshole hasn't worn off and now she just lives with an asshole, but is scared of being alone -Really really really hates the way she looks with her natural hair color, but trying to ignore how much she looks like marjorie taylor greene with it as it is, cause she can't afford to look any dumber" -"Your smile never touches your eyes, you’re dead inside." -How was it filming Goofy Movie? -"If I got drunk and slept with you, and woke up sober? -I would rather chew my arm off than wake you. - -Ironically though I would need your teeth" -Looks like you ask to speak to the manager at the gynaecologist -Her best sexual relationship was with a corn cob. -Nobody wants to hear about your fucking crystals. -Would you like a carrot and a bag of oats? -Posed naked on a car once. Claims she used to be a model. -Shouldn't you be knawing a tree by a river somewhere? -"Most men get dish washers, but it's clear you're a lawn mower" -Got those filters working so hard they’re about to unionize. -You really seem to like your teeth. -How many sugar cubes do you eat a day ? -You what is called a practice girl -"Goddamn, you could eat an apple through a chain link fence" -Making her weekly Costco run for alcohol to ply neighborhood pre-teens with -You could eat an ear of corn through a picket fence. -From giving up the cheeks behind the bleachers in high school to filming explicit videos with her son's friends. -Should have stayed a guy -You can’t handle the tooth -If Shark Week was a woman. -Whose horse is this? -I bet the only thing more bleached than that hair is your asshole. -Voted for Trump and now she’s mad that her pastor tells her “your body my choice” and proceeds to sexually assault her. -Sneezed once during a passionate moment and turned a boy into a girl.. -"Goddamn I can see and smell the incest from here. Your family lineage must look like a tree trunk that just got struck by lightning, burned to its base and then peed on by at least 3 of the last 4 dive bar men that you invited back to yur trailer. - -You’re aging like a fine supermarket Barefoot brand Moscato. I’d ask for you to take a second photo that didn’t come from an iPhone 4 camera but I don’t want to make fun of your financial situation, that’s too far in this economy. And my condolences on not even being able to sell your feet pics at the bar. I MYSELF thought it was quite rude of Greg to say that he wasn’t looking to buy the Walmart Dolly Parton’s Sasquatch feet. - -Look on the bright side tho. It looks like your veneers or the military grade whitener will shine no matter how dark. That’s very considerate of you to do as a warning for the phallic members of males that you try to pleasure but just turn to parmesan. -Note to self: do not get my teeth work done down in Mexico with the other 45 year old women trying to look 35" -You look like someone that would say bless her heart. -You look like you could eat a watermelon through a chain link fence. -Good god. One can only imagine how toothy of a blowjob you give. Giant teeth with thin little bird lips. RIP to any dick that comes near you. -I’m not saying you’ve got big teeth but your medical reports come back as 98% calcium. -Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Jewish space lasers really fucked up your face -If potato salad was a person -"Jeez, I hope I never come across her ginger bread house in the woods! - -Donkey from Shrek wants his teeth back" -id tap -As long as Marjorie Taylor Greene is in office you'll always have a Halloween costume. -I would only do oral because of the risk of your genes being past on. -"The post had no bio... - -Are your parents Big Bird and a beaver and were you schooled at clown college?" -“Its not a pyramid scheme its called multi level marketing.” is something you say on the reg. -I loved all your videos on wifeysworld back in the days. You aged well! -Is this Marjorie Taylor greens sister mom? -NEEEEIIGHHHHH -"I mean, the upside of having you around would be we could use you mouth as a bottle opener." -You look like you leave notes on your neighbor's doors about HOA infractions. -"I don’t know which is bigger, your chins or your teeth" -You look like the Tiger King fucked an actual beaver. -You look decent for a 65 y/o -You know how sometimes guys say you look better without makeup? Don't believe them. -I seen better teeth on a saw -Braces called…..you didn’t answer. -Dam any rivers lately? -"When the guy you’re with has a good look at you and loses his hard-on, you demand to speak to the manager." -You look like Vicki from RHOBH. That's not a compliment. -You have nice chins -Your face is posted in your kids’ schools after the way you harassed their teachers over masks. -I see MTG and the dick goes hiding -The horses called they want their teeth back. -Where's the selfie with the cum on it? -When you accidentally find your teacher on Tinder. -"The embodiment of a ""teethy blowjob""" -Looks like you could eat corn on the cob through a chain-link fence -You play dobbin in panto every year either those teeth -You look like you could chew through a concrete wall. You look like beavers spawned from you. -Two beavers one person -When your divorced high school teacher shows up to cougars night at the casino bar. -Miss Chernobyl 2024 -Did instagram introduce a cum filter -Hard to roast something that's been filtered to oblivion -Filter much? -You must need a whole team of dentists.. -Idk how you managed to age 20 years between the first and second photo -"I know i'm supposed to roast you, but I find you very pretty. I hope your day goes well" -"That grill catching bugs while you wait under the streetlight for surrrre. Guys flash their high beams to call you over and the sheer reflection is your go to distraction, before they can see they overpaid for some toothy bj" -Wifey’s World has had better photo shoots. -You about to do a Cooking Tik Tok and it’s gonna look like a bomb hit it -Normally I look forward to a blow job but .... -"No Becky, I don't want to buy a house from you." -You look like you like getting your coworkers fired -You could eat an apple through a tennis racket. -"I know we're supposed to shitting on you, but you have very pretty eyes. And I love the last, most casual, picture of you. You look very happy" -Turn the bugs bunny filter off -How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood??? -Dammed up the Missouri River with just two logs -Remember when you feed it to keep your hand flat. -Every military guy’s wife with the gummy smile -It’s a neeeeigh from me 🐴 -That is what the orthodontist said when he calculated the price for your braces. -You look like it would be enjoyable to feed you whole carrots. -"Wow super cute!!! Can’t see anything wrong with this picture!! Beautiful eyes, hair and a gorgeous smile!! Pics that totally brighten up anyone’s day!!! Wish we had a chance to talk one day!!! Sure you have a great personality" -"Remember, the tooth hurts." -Needs a filter for sure. -Teeth...it's the brightest thing about her -MTG? -I never knew the hawk tueh girl could get uglier -"A horse is a horse, of course of course" -With teeth so big and a mouth that small her neck muscles must be strong you can tell she has to bite and rip off to eat -Marjorie Taylor Green -"Eh, what's up doc? -You can grate carrots with them teeth." -These are the veneers I imagine a 🦫 would pick at the dentist.  -Save some carrots for the rest of us. Beavers would be jealous of you. -I’d rather drive through a sun down town at night than Get head from her🥹🚙 -Why the long face? -"With chompers like that, you could give a man a free vasectomy" -A horse is a horse of course of course -Your initials ruined my favorite card game -She looks like a meth head vicky gumbleson -"Does the sound of running water make you want to build dams? - -I am sorry, I don’t like to pick on people." -Do you filter the comments the way you filter your photos? -All aboard the TRUMP TRAIN -I’ve heard of hair extensions.. but didn’t know tooth extensions were a thing. -Marjorie Taylor Red -You should be the bucees logo -Fantasy material for human pony fetishists.. -Dear God it looks like you grew up chewing on rocks -This is what dentists dream about -"I was just scrolling, and thought this was a picture of Marjorie Taylor Green" -"You have more than one “Live, laugh, love” plaque in your apartment." -I really don't want to bad mouth you...since God already did -"Close enough. Welcome back, Amy from Amy's Baking Company." -Yours wearing so much make up i could chisel it off -Teeeeeeeeth -Wifeysworld.com -Howdy there tow mater -Looks like a mule eating corn through a picket fence... -This is wifey from. Wifeys world.com -"So far past your prime, not even Amazon can replace it." -"The only thing more annoying than your teeth, is that raspy high pitch voice I bet you have." -You could eat an apple through a letterbox -(sigh) Is your daughter getting more attention than you again? -Marjorie Taylor Beige -Stupidity at its best !!! Vain people -Looks like Marjorie Taylor Greene from Wish. -Marjory Taylor Grimm -"This has ""Me and my husband saw you from across the bar and really dig your vibe"" written all over it" -Tell me youre a christian nationalist trumper without telling me youre a christian nationalist trumper. -Blow job= vasectomy -You look like a teacher that grooms her students. -When you order Wifey’s World subscription from Temu. -Wow…. Why are there this many responses? Lol. I don’t see this many on anyone else’s. -"53yo female, met last boyfriend at the horse track." -Rabbit teeth -You think you’re edgy bc you gleefully voted for a felon. -You look like someone the president elect would hire on the spot without background check -I’d bet money you voted for Trump and have the IQ to go along with it. -There’s blonde bombshells but you’re a blonde blast crater. -Does your dentist use a rasp on you? -You’ve got a mile-long trail of ex-boyfriends sporting scraped up and scarred dicks don’t ya? -"Oh my God, Jon Benet Ramsey is still alive" -You look like the type to speak badly about Mexican people as you pull into the nearest cantina for poorly pronounced “faye gee tas”. -You know how they say: “wisdom comes with age”? In your case age came alone. -Now I bet you can chuck wood down like a legend. -You look like you sell 2000s 480x240 videos on clips4sale -When ppl who got kicked in the face by a horse ask if you ever got kicked in the face by a horse ask -The famous Mrs Ed -"When guys talk about beaver, they're usually discussing something else. When they're talking about you, it's all about the teeth." -"Stomach in, chest out, chin up... And the other one" -It looks like one of your teeth hate you so much it's trying to escape you. -I’m certain that’s what guys thought beforehand and were sadly disappointed afterwards -"Like the top slice of bread, everyone has touched you, nobody wants you. -Except your stepdad who is your no.1 OF contributor" -Holy buck teeth those are beaver worthy -You personify the dangers of photo filters. -She is proof that semen is a great substitute for toothpaste. -This photo stinks of sloppy oral and Elizabeth Taylor perfume.  -"Glad there were filters used, even though the filtered version was scary enough" -God dam! -You look like the type of person that lives by the HOA rules. -My kid carved a pumpkin this year that looked just like you -Another mid trying to get her inbox flooded with suitors. Enjoy all the messages from Indian men who you wouldn't give a second thought to in real life -"""This should be good"" - a thought never occurring to the guy stuck with you as you undress." -Definition of horse face. -You must be what’s left after all the good ones are taken. -Jeezus! I can't get past those horse chompers you have! -I bet the tooth fairy would bring a Hilo when you were a kid -Mom? -Your nickname in college was Blumpkin -Lola Bunny in her final form -Can I have a piece of gum? -I can roast people but roasting horses is against my culture -"Don’t bother , she will get her feelings hurt and then call the police" -You look like a sentient MTG wax work -"I have never seen the color of hair match the color of teeth so well until today. There exists things to make your teeth lighter too, not just the hair." -"Can't believe I am about to say this, but Marjorie Taylor Greene is hotter than you." -MOM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!??!? -You just look like the year 1925 I can't explain it -You look like someone told you that you had good teeth in middle school and you’ve clutched on to that your whole life. -"I'm guessing ""This should be good"" is not something you're accustomed to being told." -You could land a plane on those chompers -"As much as guys love fellatio, they're saying no to your overbite." -Why the long face? -i have never seen a woman with a combover before -yuck -Ready to be put in the truck headed for the glue factory. -Chiclets have me looking for sunglasses -Your eyes are empty leading me to believe your head is too -Couldn't you have got them to file those front nashers down when you were getting your teeth done? -You’re the equivalent of 40 year old virgin but with horse sounds. -"The rest looks ok, just throw a bag over her head…. Preferably plastic" -Bring a brown paper bag on day dates without alcohol. -What a beautiful horse -MTG? -the girl from talk tuah but even fucking worse (somehow) -"Come back aunt Sarah, your meds are waning off" -The first blonde ever to finish a math equation. Like hikes in the rice paddy's and algebra. -A mirror would be more damaging than anything I could come up with. -You look like your about to give head to a corn on the cob -Bet your partner opens beers with those teeth -Put your teeth back inside -You look like Bojack Horseman and Sarah Jessica Parker had a kid -Known as a “double bagger.” You wear a bag over your head in case the bag over hers falls off during s3x. -Mister Ed called. He wants his teeth back. -Keep your nose out this sub -I'm legally blind now because of the brightness of your teeth. -Even a horse looks at your teeth and goes DAYUM! -How many times have you been mistaken for a horse when walking into a bar? -Wheee snaw! Who wants Carrot? Who wants a carrot? -"It’s not so bad, keep your chins up!" -"When people ask you for some gum, they aren't asking for a smile..." -"With teeth like that, you should never walk into a bathroom whilst it's being tiled!" -"She's trying to look happy, but I can see that long face." -Marjorie Taylor Greene -"""This should be good"" - -No guy has ever said that before talking to you" -Ohhhhh so you’re Stormy “Horse Face” Daniels! -I would roast you but I couldn’t see anything past your teeth tbh. -"There are so many filters on those pictures, even the original pixels are asking, ‘Who are we?’" -I bet you can chew though a tree in no time at all -Marjorie Taylor Greene from temu -You could eat corn through barbed wire. -Wendy from Whoville grew up and became a middle school teacher in Detroit. -How old is too old for RoastMe? -Mrs. Ed -Looks like you’ve smeared a whole tub of Vaseline over the camera lens. -What's up doc -"Lowercase lips, uppercase teeth." -That use to be a man! 👨 -"Your breath always smells like 3 things, alcohol, grèen olives, and cock" -You look like a bad idea from the start that turns to a terrible idea once you blackout in the car after mixing 2 glasses of wine with your 2mg TID Xanax -I'd smash! -I would...but I have no standards. -You look like you go down on guys to save nuts for the winter. -"You look like you flip houses in an inner city neighborhood you are terrified of with your abusive husband that you would divorce tomorrow, but you're just holding out hope HGTV gives you both a TV show first." -Marjorie Taylor Greene. -You look like you give toothy head. -"With nashers like that, you can eat an apple through a tennis racquet !" -You look to be in your mid fifties -Do you ever just get sudden urges to stop rivers from flowing? -Marjorie Taylor Greene but somehow worse.. -Baby got teeth! My anaconda don’t want none unless you got gums hun! -She probably has that framed in the horse stables -"‘I’m not like the other moms, I’m a cool mom.’" -Marjorie Taylor 🤢 -You look like you could be one of them playboy rabbits. -Would smash. Then immediately hate all my life's choices and drink myself into oblivion and wake up dreaming that a beaver bit my dick off.  -comment -"During Rumspringa, Eli got shit faced on virgin daiquiris, fingered a goat, and posted on Reddit." -So when are we getting an amish paradise 2? -You’re so Amish you’re gonna get the comments in the mail -"Oh jebediah, I bet you plowing all the hoes" -If the guy from Weezer grew up in rural Pennsylvania. -How tf did you manage to post? -Wtf is Ishmael doing with a fucking cell and net?? What's the world coming to. Lol 😆 -"Nope, I’m not going to live in your village and marry your daughter." -"Wait a sec, you're using technology! Shame!" -Does Father Jebediah know of this blasphemy? -The Village sequel looks pretty low rent. -"As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, -I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain, - -But that’s just perfect for an Amish like me, -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity. - -At 4:30 in the morning, I’m milkin’ cows, -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool…" -No Reddit roasting will compare to the roasting that you get when you are shunned for using worldly technology -We've all seen your wife's ankles -"Your daughter called, she wants her virginity back " -This guy is getting absolutely churned in the comments. -"You are a week and a half early for Halloween, dude. But gluing all that pubic hair on your chin is a nice touch!" -How the hell are you on reddit?!?!?! -Your profile has pictures of your dick on it -"As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain -But that's just perfect for an Amish like me -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity -At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool -And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone -I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline -Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin -But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine -Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699 -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -I churned butter once or twice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -It's hard work and sacrifice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We sell quilts at discount price -Livin' in an Amish paradise -A local boy kicked me in the butt last week -I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek -I really don't care, in fact I wish him well -'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell -But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it -An Amish with a 'tude? -You know that's unheard of -I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat -And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool -If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears -We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years -But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare -We're just technologically impaired -There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar -Not a single luxury -Like Robinson Crusoe -It's as primitive as can be -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're just plain and simple guys -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no time for sin and vice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We don't fight, we all play nice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter -Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another -Think you're really righteous? -Think you're pure in heart? -Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art -I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like -On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife -So don't be vain and don't be whiny -Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're all crazy Mennonites -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no cops or traffic lights -Livin' in an Amish paradise -But you'd probably think it bites -Livin' in an Amish paradise" -He's from schrute farms -This guy isn’t even Amish he just likes to cosplay as one -Do you guys think showering is evil or something? 😒 -How fast does your horse and buggy go? -"Fuck thee too, Jebediah! Cometh to the Barn Raising, and thy will suffer great pain in thy ass." -Making sheep nervous since 86 -"You look like you have 10 wives, and not one of them is over six." -"So Noah Dyck, still trying to court Anita Dyck? Then you can have some Dycks of your own? - -But fuck, can they run." -"You can build a boat, a house, or barn in 30 mins. - -You can make your own butter, make your own clothing, make your own soap. - -But you're so hairy you look like the Muppet Animal -And you stink like pignuts and dogshit and all you do is work till you die - -Stupid bastard" -Damn they let yall have phones now? Catchin up with the times eh -Hey Mose. How’s it going on the beet farm? -🎶I’ve churned butter once or twice living in an Amish paradise 🎶 -Did you milk the bull today Roy? -Nice Halloween costume. Go back to posting dick pics -Say you've been shunned without saying you've been shunned. -Does the beard get in the way when you blow your goats? -When you get your amish on Wish -"Oh, I see: You're on the Internet for the first time ever...and are looking for new ways to cook?!! - I'm guessing you are in the ""ROASTme"" section for that reason. -- We all know ""MICROWAVEme,"" and ""AIRfryerMe"" aren't options for you, due to electricity." -How quickly can you build a barn? -I can smell your B.O. through the Internet. -Just blink twice if you want to get out of there. -Wait since when did Amish get internet? -Your wife will never know the difference between a romantic candlelit dinner and a regular dinner. -"Zachariah, stop playing of that devil box and come raise this barn.  Otherwise you won't have any privacy from the neighbors while you fuck our sheep!" -Finally found someone on r/Amish -Mark Ruffalo was recast in the Kingpin remake?! -/u/bot-sleuth-bot -How the hell did you get hold of a mobile phone or access to the Internet?? -Fuck you doing with a phone?? -It’s Jews like you that have ruined the Middle East for honest upstanding Muslims -How the fuck dose he have internet or a smart phone or pc -"The roast is you look like you'd sing these lyrics: - -As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain -But that's just perfect for an Amish like me -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity -At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool -And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone -I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline -Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin -But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine -Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699 -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -I churned butter once or twice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -It's hard work and sacrifice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We sell quilts at discount price -Livin' in an Amish paradise -A local boy kicked me in the butt last week -I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek -I really don't care, in fact I wish him well -'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell -But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it -An Amish with a 'tude? -You know that's unheard of -I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat -And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool -If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears -We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years -But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare -We're just technologically impaired -There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar -Not a single luxury -Like Robinson Crusoe -It's as primitive as can be -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're just plain and simple guys -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no time for sin and vice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We don't fight, we all play nice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter -Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another -Think you're really righteous? -Think you're pure in heart? -Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art -I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like -On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife -So don't be vain and don't be whiny -Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're all crazy Mennonites -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no cops or traffic lights -Livin' in an Amish paradise -But you'd probably think it bites -Livin' in an Amish paradise" -"His parents, who are also sister and brother, with roast him for being on the wicked computer box." -Do you daily drive a horse buggy? -"Scientologist, eh?" -What a Dyck. -Any butter churning need doin? -"You aren't supposed to be on an electronic device, Jebediah." -"Bro, your buggy was slowing traffic down." -Favorite hobby is plowing. Either plowing the fields or plowing his wife. -Amish people are weird. GO AWAY. -Can you bowl? -The Amish are calling they want their hair back -What in the Amish bread is this sorcery? Get off the interwebs you godless heathen -Just wait til the parson catches ya -Shouldn’t you be raising a barn somewhere? Also using this app my get you shunned. -Where the fuck are you getting internet from? -Schwing and Amish -What the fuck you doing with a phone?! ITS GOT ELECTRICITY INSIDE IT!!! -Why is the hair on your face shaped like a parabola -S'gonna require some serious chorin' to pay penance for this'un Hesekiah. -Yo get back to work I want my butter done by tomorrow morning -Thought Amish couldn’t use technology? Fake ass Amish. -That better be written with charcoal or I’m telling elder Simmons you’re using the devil’s pen! 🍆 -"Oh Jedediah, you Abe Lincoln looking motherfucker!" -You have a boogie in your right nostril. -You have nothing better to do than pretend to be Amish...you've roasted yourself -Brother Eli loves milking the bull! -Why would I want to force you to move from a place? Rousting is considered kidnapping sir... -Are you even allowed to read the responses? -Best Halloween costume yet -You look like you’ve never seen a iPhone ever in your life -How are you on Reddit? 😂 -"Abraham, get away from that dang devil’s phone. That’s a demon device." -Something is a little Amish -"ur beard is too big, and u have crappy glasses, and u smell bad" -"Put that dick away lmao, ain’t no one suckin that." -"Did a local boy kick you in the butt last week? Did you smile at him and turn the other cheek, because you will be laughing your ass off when he's burning in hell?" -Where the fuck you get the phone Ezekiel? -I now realize that God making it a sin for Amish to take a picture was really just a blessing for everyone else. -How does this work? Does someone write down the comments so you can read them by candlelight later. -"Next, I’m gonna see a goddamn Amish airline pilot." -wait... arent you the guy that got shot by john wilkes booth??? -You look like an Amish Seth Rogan -You remind me of an SCTV character Rick Moranis was lampooning. Look it up if you are curious. -How did you get your chin and dick to have the same haircut? -You better not let your sister/wife see you have posted d pics on the internet. You're going to be in trouble -You look like a Lesbian Mary Poppins. -"You two faced motherfucker, you're not supposed to be using technology!" -Matthew Broderick went Amish? Say it ain’t so! -So y'all reject all technology but somehow phones are okay to have? Go turn it into your local police station sir -Bob's burgers on steroids -"Thou art a mediocre farmer, thine eyeglasses look modern, thou wilt not likely be fruitful and multiply, and thy knowledge of scripture is questionable. - -Gott segen eich." -Dude got a whole ass Rumspringa and used it to go on Reddit. Go to a titty bar already! -Dammit who let Ezekiel have a phone!? -How are you here? On the *internet?* -Guys I think we found modern day Abraham Lincoln. How's your head feelin? -"What’s your name? (I’m guessing it’s Ezekiel.) Fuck you, Ezekiel!" -God damn it Jebediah! I told you to stay off the Internet! -Are you allowed to be on the internet? -He Mennonite. More hip than Amish. -Dwight K. Shrute -"As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain -But that’s just perfect for an Amish like me -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity -At 4:30 in the morning I’m milkin’ cows -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool -And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone -I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline -Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin -But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine -Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699 - -We been spending most our lives -Living in an Amish paradise -I’ve churned butter once or twice -Living in an Amish paradise -It’s hard work and sacrifice -Living in an Amish paradise -We sell quilts at discount price -Living in an Amish paradise" -We are going to party on the farm like it's 1699!!! -How are you using a phone -This dude was thrown out of his community because he had several mennonite. -Where the fuck did you get a cellphone? -"Ah, the old Amish Hipster. Might look like he’s really about the life but in reality he’s merely gentrifying the Amish community 😬. Lol" -Weird Al is redoing Amish Paradise -Dudes got no shame. Can you truly roast someone willing post soo many 🍆🍆🍆pics? To Reddit of all places. -God already did it for us -"Bro, this is what you decided to do for your breaking amish?" -I thought the Amish couldn’t use anything electric -"What does every Amish woman want? -3 Mennonite." -"Do a lot of Amish have $500 Tom Ford frames with modern coatings on the bi-focal lenses? Asking for a friend. Hoping your finger nails were done for affect. Otherwise, you need to work on that after the prank is done. They nasty." -"Hey that’s little Steve, really wish I could unsee the little fella" -You look like you are related to Dwight Schrute -WTF Amish aren’t supposed to have cell phones. 😫 -"""Down in the vally where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain -But that's just perfect for an amish like me""" -"We been spending most our lives -Livin’ in an Amish paradise -I churned butter once or twice -Livin’ in an Amish paradise" -How many horses have you abused today? -"You’re a little late for the Weird Al, Amish Paradise video casting call…" -Logic? -Did amish something? -Amish Logic? -I call shenanigans. The Amish don't use cell phones or the internet. -Bro looks goofy as hell -"""Four score and seven years ago""" -"🎶as I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my……….hey wait a minute🧐🤔 Don’t ye Amish shun things like smart phones and electricity!? Go back to plowing there Zeb!" -"Nice try, this is just ur Halloween costume" -Someone must have a shunning kink -What are you doing on a computer you primitive living nutcase? This isn't considered technology? When did rules change in your backwards ass goat and cousin fuckin community? Didn't you do a movie with Han Solo when you were a kid? You do know what movies are right? I have so many questions. How many cousins have you knocked up? She at least hot? -"I live in Amish town , yeah they all have phones, most have old Nokias with antenna signal booster and power pack battery bag, but alot of them have brand new iPhones and the best androids, they can have them but they can’t take em in the house . They all have a building at edge of their property where they keep the devils tools . Like their phone and sometimes freezer , but anyways the Amish young ones are always referencing old vines and asking me if I seen that one ? Their favorite video is that old old old video of the drunk guy on the scissor fork lift that gets pulled over by the cop. And btw ur horse is blocking the driveway again ," -That’s a nice beard -As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I thought you guys refused modernity and shit... -"Ezekiel, are you even allowed to have an electronic device?" -Don't the the armish police know this guy has a phone. -I’d love to bang an Amish woman -"Out here in Amish. -Smoking big doinks in Amish. -Big ol' doinks… Gang." -When did the Amish start getting phones and cameras? -The Amish still haven’t fixed the DeLorean yet Marty? -Straight to hell -Are you even allowed to have a reddit account ? -He thinks a silly hat and suspenders will get him into heaven. -You look like your butter is sour and your barns are crooked. -are you allowed to post on reddit? -🎵 Been spended most my life living in the Amish paradise 🎵 -"The insults are easy. You wash once a week in a tub with after your whole family washing, marinating in your grandpa’s, father’s, and 6 older brothers’ ass and ball sweat. Everyone outside the community will move 20 feet upwind when you go into “town” which maybe has one stoplight, shuttered storefronts, and a whole lotta meth. You are the result of several generations’ cousins marrying and if you don’t die from a tooth abscess, you will from a congenital disease. You act pious but you hide in the woods with a secret phone and jack off to photos of particularly plump udders instead of fucking your cousinwife once a week to pump out more fucked up kids in a fucked up abusive society. Sorry. I actually like the Amish and think they’re an interesting, insular, hardworking community but you said to roast you." -"As you walk through the feild where you harvest your grain, you look at your wife and realise she's pretty plain." -Can't roast you. My oven is electric -Who let the Amish guy have a phone? -Your going to hell for this -It's a sin to post without you favorite sheep -"Rocking the ""Abe Lincoln "" in the year of our Lord, Two Thousand Twenty Four." -"Holy shit, one of them finally figured out what a phone was" -First Amish Halloween costume this year!! -Raise any barns today? -"""As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain..""" -Imagine growing a beard and it still looks like it glued on -"Jebediah, you Abe Lincoln motherfucker!" -I thought yall weren't allowed stuff like phones -Are you even allowed to be here? -What pastor did you have to blow to get internet? -First off Emmanuel Abner Yoder no phones on the farm!!!! Brother Abraham will not be happy and will smite thee. -This post is going to get you banished from your religion and you’re gonna have to convert to being a Jehovah’s Witness -Tell your brothers not to vote for Trump -"Bro, what are you doing with the phone? I thought Amish people couldn’t have electronics." -Well... we now know what happened to Mark Ruffalo after The Avengers. -...if Roy Munson and Mrs. Dumars had a kid together. Maybe a Kingpin 2 coming soon? -Jebediah!! Get back to plowing and put that worldly heathen thing down! -How did he get a phone -Are you even allowed to be on the internet ? -Did he mail this image in? -you got it captain crunch -All I could think of is weird Al Yankovic -"If you're actually Amish or something, I've got nothing. It's fine. If not, you're a total fucking dork" -"You’re a good looking guy, but please get rid of the hat and the beard. But you’re very handsome, but we can’t really see you!" -"Yo, straight outta the barn, with that churnin' flow, -You rockin' them suspenders, but where'd the drip go? -Got that beard so thick, man, it’s lookin' like hay, -You butter churnin’, but I'm here churnin' wordplay! - -Those glasses got you seein' the future, it's bright, -But you still thinkin' horsepower means ""buggy at night!"" -You rockin’ Rumspringa, but where’s the rebellion? -I’m spittin' fire, and you're still playin' the accordion. - -Electricity-free but I’m shocked by your style, -Took one look and thought I time-traveled a mile! -Got that hat on, yeah, it’s flat like your phone bill, -But your rap game's slower than a mule on Benadryl. - -So what’s next? You tryna flip some pancakes? -Still searchin' for Wi-Fi like you diggin’ for milkshakes! -But hey, respect—you're keepin' it humble and slow, -While I’m burnin’ this roast like it’s fresh from the stove! - -Mic dropped like your buggy in a ditch, man!" -I love the Amish! -If you are on Reddit you are not really into being Quacker. (Sp) so Wtf are you wanting ? I make jest of your religion. Or I assume that you just wanna way out of a repressive community? -"“as i walk through the valley where i harvest my grain, i take a look at my wife and realize shes very plain. but thats just perfect for and amish like me, who know i shun fancy things like “electricity.”" -You look like Weird Al from his Amish Paradise music video -You’re Amish. Roast over. -"""Churning this butter sure reminds me of her!"" *stares at his sister*" -It really sucks that he doesn't have access to all these great comments -Fuck off weird al! -Your glasses do not have corrective lenses. The ultimate Amish poser. -"What’s the point, you can’t use the phone or computer to see what is said anyway" -Your left eye is winning the race to your chin. -I thought amish arent allowed to have phones -The hell you doing with a smart phone anyway Jedediah? -"Livro favorito: ""Mein Kampf""" -Amish or Jewish? -"Guys he has a phone, on Reddit… you know what he’s been doing…. Poor man is going to get shunned… brother welcome to the new world!" -Hide the goats -"Noah, how the hell you posting this? Arn’t Amish folks prohibited from electronics, cell phones, computers and such? YOU ARE NOW SHUNNED! - -And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone. - -- Amish Paradise….Weird Al” Yankovic" -I thought amish people didn’t have phones -Amish Woody Allen. -Bruh where my heater at 🤔… it’s been 3 years since I ordered it come on guys -Are you on Rumspringa? -Looks like a Amish logic -"Don’t let em catch you on that phone, Jebediah!" -"For God's sake, grow a mustache." -Amishbinladen -A cult by Abraham Lincoln -You look like a nice guy 👍 -Mf how'd you get a cell phone? -Once a year Halloween Spirit visits you to harvest its costume beards -Let me guess....StarLink?? Who's cranking the generator? -You look like Bubbles if he had an Amish cousin. -Rabbi Lincoln -nah what are yiu wering nahhh cowboy -Something is A mish here -I'm a thousand times more humble than thou art -"Pretty sure if you auditioned for the role of Mose in the office, you would have won the part." -Howdy parter ass look -"""Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter -Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another -Think you're really righteous? -Think you're pure in heart? -Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art -I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like -On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife -So don't be vain and don't be whiny -Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie""" -"Once upon a time, there was a gnome who decided to give up the dating game, the world lived happily ever after. The end" -Glad to see the Amish are finally embracing technology -How's your first week on the internet going? -"An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an open buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, ""My hands are freezing cold."" The mother replied, ""Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up."" So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, ""My hands are freezing cold."" The daughter said, ""Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."" - - - -The next day, the boyfriend is driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, ""My nose is freezing cold."" The daughter said, ""Put it between my legs. It will warm up."" He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend is driving again with the daughter and he said, ""My penis is frozen solid."" The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, ""Have you ever heard of a penis?"" The slightly concerned mother says, ""Sure, why do you ask?"" The daughter says, ""Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out." -comment -I’m gonna need a bigger oven to roast you -It looks like you have a boner that’s poking out your meat flap. -Nah man. Sometimes it’s just too sad. -Type 3 diabetes -*sigh* Just another person trying to promote their OF. When does this madness end? -You look like the type of guy who hears the word ‘morbidly’ a lot -I feel attracted to you... Because of the gravity -Even the heart disease has diabetes. -you probably should give a heads-up to authorities for your funeral a few years from now so they can get enough TNT for blowing up that whale-carcass -"This ain’t the place for you, get some help" -Last time he seen his dick was in a dream -I tried to roast you earlier but it took hours to scroll down past your gut to type a comment -Get the lump checked out … seriously -Man you're fucked -Your baby is kicking -You look like you could fart a whole plum. -"“Let ‘em rip” - -You mean like every piece of clothing you’ve tried on?" -You may have to lose weight to get your umbilical hernia repaired. -"Legit question, how do you piss and shit" -Careful on how much roasting we do people. Don't wanna burn the fucking block down with this fat ass. -You are putting alot of faith In the couch -Please do not let 'em rip. -I bet you sound like darth vader when you breath -Even your belly button has a belly -Vore artists use this picture for anatomically correct references -"I'm curious, what sub do you moderate?" -"Fucking Christ, there had to be days when you didn't wake up hungry" -We’d end world hunger if we roasted you. -Bro honestly no roast just get your life together and have some self respect. You need to hear that. You can do it. Focus. Goals. Execute. Stay the course. -That's no moon... -Whoa...you got planets in your orbit -Don’t use your self deprivation as humor to disguise the depression I see in you -"Finally I’ve seen a discord mod…. My life is complete but I beleive yours would be even sooner. - -Wouldn’t be surprised if you’d be reading this from while some devils take a piece out of your belly to feed everyone in hell….." -Don’t stop til you tuck your tit in your sock -Luke would sacrifice you to stay warm. -Sir your heart might stop any second now -"I know this isn’t why you are here. But dude. You could be living your best, having sex, partying, or just relaxing with a loved one at home. I hope you have one, if you do, show it you love it by not doing whatever it is that you currently are." -"I always say you really know it’s bad when half of the comments aren’t even roasts, they’re just genuinely concerned 💀" -Was you bottle fed mash potato as a baby? -Is that a hernia above your belly button or are you just happy to see me? -The last motherfucker he ate is trying to escape -"Honestly start binging people who radically change their weight… huge before and after losses and start chopping at the block… it’ll feel good man you’ll be glad to have done it, and record so you can make money from your weight loss journey" -"If we truly roasted you, we could end world hunger and have left overs." -"I feel for you brother, I don’t want to make fun of you because I’d imagine you are in wuite a lot of pain. If you are able to get your umbilical hernia fixed it might help you begin to feel more confident and start to excercise and eat healthier." -I heard fat people get cremated at lower temperature to prevent fat burn... l -This is just sad. I pray you find the courage to lose the weight roasting you will not cut it. (this applies to me as well) -Your death is imminent unless you do something. How’s that? -What is the point? You will probably die before you get a chance to read this. -How many decades has it been since you've seen your dick? -"Brother, I'm genuinely concerned for you. Not gonna roast you, but give you some advice. Get on a diet and exercise plan before it's too late.. I was obese since my teens all the way thru to my late 20s until I had no choice but to make lifestyle changes. It's NEVER too late while you're still on this earth. Message me if you want some advice on how to get started. Wishing you the best of luck my friend." -"I'm sorry, this is just sad. Hope OP can get on track to get healthy." -"If Wales got the same treatment as Palistine, you'd be their new homeland" -"You've had enough roast...c'mon now, man." -"Your favourite exercise? -Running... out of patience when waiting for pizza delivery!" -"My greatest hope for you is that this is your Ozempic “before” picture and you live long enough for the “after” pic. Jesus Christ, dude, get help." -I want to squeeze your belly for nonsexual entertainment purposes. -No roast. Hope you get better. You're worth it. -The picture you posted makes me angry. -The blob that ate everyone -"Nah man, you don't need this. You don't need the name calling and jokes and whatnot to push you to change. You gotta find that power, that want to, within yourself. I know it's hard, but it's super simple. It's all about calories in versus out. Start small. Cut out candy/dessert items. Once you get the sugar under control, you can start to watch your calories. Eat things that are easy for your body to burn off. Proteins, lots of beef, chicken, and fish. Try to stay away from any kind of weight loss surgery or anything like that cause if you don't have the lifestyle change to back it up, you'll just end up right back in the same spot. But the diet first, easiest." -I’m gonna need a bigger oven -It looks like you coughed up your balls and got them stuck in your belly button -Clean it up dude. -The inevitable grease fire at the crematorium. -"Come on man, you've been posting these roast me posts a lot.. you don't need this. You need genuine motivation to change and some actual help. You're not healthy, you have to make a change man. You can do it, I believe in you. - -You have to lose weight, if you don't, then expect nothing to get better." -"Be kind to yourself. I'm looking at a good-looking dude who deserves to be in good health. Even if it's just waking across the house a couple of extra times a day, moving in the right direction is worth it." -Not roasting but how does one actually let themselves get this fucking big? Isn’t there an in between moment where u look at yourself and say…..shit this is getting out of hand…..like you don’t just wake up one day and weigh 500 pounds this took years of neglect and gluttony. I’ll never u derstand how some humans can get this ridiculously fat and pathetic. Please dude lay off the soda and the sofa start walking everyday drink water only. Lose some fucking weight ur an embarrassment to everyone you know. -Leviathan white version -The last thing the toilet sees before it dies -"Man I bet every time you turn around, it's your birthday..." -"Dude, you are melting." -Is that a hernia or are you just happy to see me -Shaquille O'Meal -"Bro honestly no roast just loose some weight this is really unhealthy, your gonna die young if you live like that. Get help. There are doctors that can set you in a weight loss plan, and if it’s due to stress get a therapist as well. It’s not worth during young just eat something that tastes good." -Nah bro get some help man you're just slowly poisoning yourself and this is coming from a guys who is also finding trouble with high fat high salt processed food. Wishing you best of health. Get fit then post on this sub and we'll then have some good banter. -You look young . Get therapy . This is no way to live or die . -Of course you want roast -This dude’s so massive he once fell in love and broke it -How does this even happen? You look like the last scene of Akira -"Cmon, man. Have some fucking self respect. Jesus Christ. Eat a vegetable. Move. Stop playing Minecraft, get out of the basement, and get some fresh fucking air. Get a gym membership. Join Weight Watchers. Do SOMETHING. You are handicapping yourself for life." -You’re addicted to food I’m pretty sure -"According to Gabriel Iglesias, there are six levels of fatness: healthy, heavy, husky, fluffy, damn!, and OH HELL NAH!! I think he’s gonna create another level for you: Oh FUCK THAT!" -Guy needs a panoramic to get his whole body in the picture -I don't think I have a big enough spit. -The only thing ripping will be you. When the find your ole decomposed ass sweating in a room supposed by Big Macs and that guy splits down your side and all your fluid leaks out. And poor people like me end up with PTSD from it -Jabba the hernia. -"Aside from being fat, your beard is trimmed, your hair is cut, your house appears clean and you have proper handwriting. - -What the hell are you doing on Reddit?" -Yo ass so fat that when u walked in front of my tv I missed 3 seasons -Wiping your ass must be the most exercise you get a day -Umbilical hernia incoming you fat fuck -DaHam! -You look like the fat version of a fat person. -Start walking 2 or 3 miles a day. And drink 1 16 oz bottle of water every 2 hours. Youll amaze yourself in a month. Ive been where you are brother. Thats my roast. -That’s a fully grown man kicking in your stomach! What did he do to you to make you eat him? -You look like white edp445 -Eminem if he was in *that* life -That’s what you told your ass when it hit the toilet. -who made you? herman melville?? -I’d rather grill you -Guess we know what ate Gilbert Grape -King Leonidas! It is ”this is Spartaaaa” and not ”this is pastaaa with sauce and cheese” -"You think Brendan Fraser is The Whale, but then you crack open reddit and see this guy." -Dude so massive he had to write the roastme note on A3 size paper. -Must've been a fair while since your dong came outta hibernation -I'm sure that your stomach and thighs go way back -You have so much mass I’m surprised there isn’t a moon orbiting around you. -Your dick is like a black hole. It's theoretically there but no one can actually see it. -You let one rip & I felt it all the way over here in Australia. -"Bros so fat he had to make 4 posts so our roasts can burn his calories away (as u can tell, he's too big, we need to burn him harder)" -"When he runs, the ground questions its life choices" -So this is what the average redditor looks like. Here I thought it was all jokes. -I think someone’s lost softball is suck under your lower rolls 😕They probably have been looking for it. -Must be exhausting waddling around carrying a 100 lb barbell. I mean no disrespect. What do you weigh. 375? -732 weeks pregnant with a poop baby -I gained weight looking at you -Discord moderator caught in 4k -Miss Ohio 2023 Runner Up -bro hasn't wiped his ass since he was 13 -Your kids must play hide and seek around your waist -These pokemons gotta stay in their world. A snorlax ffs -Snorlax cosplay coming along nicely I see. -"You'll be dead soon. Get your shit together man, time to make a change fr" -This post actually just made me curious as to whether or not they sell doublewide coffins -Nickokado is more fitter than you -I imagine your legs look like two sausage casings filled with beet juice. -You are the reason why kids in Africa are hungry -"You should become a father if you’re not already. - -I bet you’d be great. - -They say it takes a village to raise a kid these days and you sir clearly qualify." -Hey you can decide if you wanna die because of cardiomyoliposis or the huge hernia you are carriing around. -"Poster child for diabetes, right here. How much have you paid explorers to help find your penis?" -You need to lose 400 pound in six munt. -Looks like one of the 6 fetuses you have is moving today. -Nah dude wtf. Get help. -Enough Roastbeef for you -"U look like the crocodile fighter AI meme, but a lot less capable of fighting the crocodile" -you looks like ur mom -"Roast you? Buddy it would cost me too much to find a grill that would accommodate you. At least it would be the first time in your life you could feed your family without foodstamps, though." -I thought they slayed Jabba the gut -You don't need table when you can put a plate on your stomach. -Average Reddit mod. -50 types of diabetes -"Username doesn't check out, at least partially" -Apparently you are about to -I'm not even gonna roast you because this is straight up sad. Just get help man -How many years ago was the last time you saw your dick ? -"Sort yourself out dude, or you're going to die very young." -"In all seriousness, get that lump above your belly button checked out." -I thought i was fat -Discord moderator -Have you ever seen a mortician have to charge freight shipping? -It’s not too late to change! -"Just can’t imagine why anyone would allow themselves to get to this point , new year around the corner. Help yourself, your will thankful in a year from now" -"No need to roast you, you’ll be getting cremated soon… - -(But seriously man you need to start looking after yourself, start small go for a 15 minute walk each day)" -"I am sure you do and are capable of clearing out a movie theater when you do," -your hands look like how kids draw fingers on a teddy bear -Ain’t never seen no curved bellybutton before -Do you not care that you're dying soon? -"Stands on the scale and it says....""I one at a time please""" -"At your funeral will the priest say “He was very good at what he loved, gaining 40 pounds a week”" -Man lost biggest loser before it even started because he couldn't walk across the parking to enter the set -didn’t you die in return of the jedi? -"Looks like your quintuplets are ready to be born, I mean one of them is sticking its head out." -"Be proud of your self. -Walk with your both the chins up" -he ate the pen immediately after writing the sign -"If we roasted you, it would end world hunger" -You know what - you can lose the weight….get some help and communicate with friends….get a coach…..I believe as easily as it came on it can come off faster. Good luck but I know you won’t need it. -Roasting you could end world hunger -"""let'em rip,"" is that the motto for your pants?" -Jabba the Gut -Boogie2988? -"That bulge looks bad, someone should take him to see doctor Phil." -Yo don't let the people on insta see this. -"You’re gonna die soon, probably." -You have an umbilical hernia - bro. -Get help because you'll die before you're 50 -If you die at this size they’re going to tear a hole in your wall and haul your morbidly obese ass out with a crane. -Should see Dr. About hernia -I can’t believe y’all are commenting I just KNOW this man is fapping (or at least trying to) to all of these comments. -Wish you the best brother. -I’m going to do something more people in your life should do… NO! -"🙏 for a happy and healthy life for you, 1 step at a time. A journey of a million miles starts with the first step!!!" -Oh no.. -"All joking aside, you've literally accepted a death sentence by allowing yourself to go this far. I hope you can find yourself some real help and I hope you can find that help sooner rather than later or you'll never be finding your penis again." -"Let’s start with the obvious, those frames don’t match the shape of your face." -This is the exact same photo u used last year I’m guessing you’ve added a few pounds since then -"Damn dude, I don't even want to roast you, this is just sad. You need to change your lifestyle if you don't want to pass away within 20 years. Your organs can only handle that body for so long. Please see a dietician or make an attempt to be healthier, as I'm sure the world is a better place with you in it." -"How can you ask people to make jokes, when you ARE A LIVING JOKE" -No excuse for letting yourself get that obese. Think of your poor mother who has to look after you. How can she manage getting you from the bed to the toilet? Nappies are not something any mother should have to deal with after her children mature apart from her father. -"The outie belly button is impressive, 1 ton of pers beef cake...so ripply you could use the blubber to fuel the earth for a month or power a wave pool with perpetual motion, bravo sir." -Bro go get some exercise… start with a nice walk -First male pregnancy -"Bruh, just get some help, ok? Move around as much as spherically possible throughout the day, eat less food, talk to a doctor. I'm serious. You need to save your own life. You'll thank us that are trying to help you when you realise how bad you got, IF you decide to make a change before it's too late" -This post will last longer than your heart -"I don't know why this is popping up in my feed, but I'll do what needs done. - - Your protruding navel is most likely a hernia. You should have that looked at by a doctor." -Seeing this... I bought stocks in all fast food places in your town. -"You've had enough roasts, you fat fuck." -ur fat -Roast you? How big do you think my fucking oven is? -Don't think there is an oven big enough for you -Do you cook your food with your own fat or? -"Everyone here attacking this man, but the only attack he should be worried about is from his heart." -"Let ‘em rip, he said as he put his pants on." -Your hernia has a hernia -Dude you need help. Not roasts. Time is ticking. Reset the clock. -Is he going to die? 😫 -"Dude, you need some help. Please get some. 😞" -He looks like he’s already letting it rip -Discord mod -"On a more serious note, how do you get this big? Do you live in a refrigerator?" -What ever is poking out of your stomach needs to be looked at. Like please go to a Doctor... -"Yall roasting him so good, that he'd feed a whole village for weeks." -Can't roast you if you can't fit in the oven. -I bet you have pantry in those rolls. -Where do you end? -Is that a belly button or a tumor? -"Hey man, start today with making small positive changes. It'll add up. And don't loose weight too fast. Keep it very gradual, let a dr help you with how to make slow improvements in a safe way. Come back a year from now after you've lost a few pounds and we'll roast you." -Bros so fat he wakes up on both sides of the bed -comment -Do you know if it's a boy or a gurl yet? -We shouldn't roast you. You've got enough on your plate. -"Holy shit! That guy in the first pic ate the guy in the second pic. - -Fatt Damon." -"High school Eminem - -Real life M&M" -The Freshman 150 -Its not a glow down! Its a blown up -You should start an onlyfans with those tiddies! -you look like kyle rittenhouse needs to shoot insulin. -"I’m sure your heart is in the right place, it’s just clogged with bacon fat." -A bit of a “glow down”… whatever lets you sleep at night 😂 -Still got the same piss stained trousers -"Hey at least now that you're fat, your big ears stick out a lot less " -You look like you're having an allergic reaction to life. -Nice tits. Just share your onlyfans link and move on. -It looks like someone edited your head onto a fertility doll. -I bet you deep fry your antidepressants in butter. -"You're advanced for your age. I have the same gut, but I'm 56." -Breasts are beautiful. Wish my wife's looked like that. -"Eating twinkies while jerking to trsnny porn isn't actually a weight-loss plan, bro." -Nominem -"Don't worry about it, bro. - -A lot of people pack on the freshman 1500." -Look like 300 pounds of chewed gum -"You didn't glow down, you blew up" -After highschool he graduated to a larger cup size -Neh Jabba no botha -FAT... BITCH TITS... FUCK -Not so much a glow up as a chow down -Have you ever suckled your own teets -"Ok we will, but first you need to give yourself an insulin shot." -I can’t believe it’s not butter -"Unroast for a moment. That's incredibly bizarre for a young adult male to put on that kind of weight within a few years. You seriously need to get your metabolism checked. It looks like an issue you need to address with a doctor. - -Dont be afraid to ask for help. My dms are open if you need to vent. I am saying this as someone who struggled in my late teens and early 20s. And who is still struggling, but doing much better now." -I'm gonna need a big fire and an apple to roast this pig -Glow down? More like a Chow Down! -I support your full transition to the michelin man. -"If it makes you feel better, you started from rock bottom already. It's like failing a test. There are no scores below 0 in life." -You mean after high school you had a blow up!! Jacking off is not considered cardio. -Reverse Glow Up is a Throw Up. -The fat hides your outy ears. -You got calico cut pants on there in high school. -Yeah sucks to be you for sure -When is your due date? -How tf did your neck not get fatter? -You look like Nickocado Avocado and Michael Cera's love child -Left school and got pregnant. 🤰🏻 you fat fuck get that gut on a diet 🐷 -"Kid, tighten the fuck up and stop getting roasted and get in the gym. Get some self confidence and pay less attention to the Internet. Here is your roast/guidance. Go do something with your life." -You look like the poster child for the wonders of cocaine. -"Bro, younger you is literally wearing Calico Cut Pants. - -https://getcalicocutpants.com/" -Can we get a neck reveal at 1k upvotes? -"Another life ruined by teenage pregnancy, so you still know who the dad is?" -You need to make some changes. I won’t sugarcoat it because you’d just eat that too. -That’s sad cuz you’re very cute / You just look very unhappy in both pics - it shows -At least you grew a pair. -What a waist -Were you drinking Oreos my dude? -Hey dude! You look really sad in your pic. If this is the case I hope you know that anything is possible as long as there is breath in your lungs. You can find the strength to get healthier again and you CAN do this. -There cant be really be a glowdown if u never looked good -No such thing as a glow down tubby 🤣🤣 you just BLEW UP -You peaked in high-school... -"Lost the fat, but not the virginity" -Mid evolution to basement dweller. -"He said ""a bit"" of a glow down 💀 if that's a bit I don't even wanna see what it was before" -You look like one of the nicest 2 people I’ve never met -"Many consider post-pregnancy to be a glow up - cheer up, only bright days ahead for you!" -Just cut soda bro -"You should be ashamed bro bro. Ngl this made me feel better ab myself. But can you do me a favor and grab me a Cinnabon, hot and dripping like the sun peaking out of a Bayan tree after monsoon, from the grocery store?" -"""Glow down?"" More like ""gave up!""" -"Tbh, your face is still very handsome. Just gotta get active." -You look like a fat sad Matt Damon. -"Sucks that you can't just hit the gym and lose that permanent ""just got grounded for saying the N word"" face" -I see you had a run in with one of those Peruvian fertility idols -The before pic is actually the after pic unless you decided to eat your twin.  -Cal Kestis if he was from Earth. -"You haven't had only a bit of anything, except adult on-set type-2 diabeetus...." -Look at the fucking wired umpa lumpa ass. -r/tendies -Lose weight -"This is you - -This is you on video game addiction" -You look like a woman who’s eating chicken nuggets to use the hormones to become a man. -You simply grew into your ears -"You look like the type that will only ever tell stories starting with ""years ago in school"" because literally nothing of interest has happened to you since apart from crippling debt from insulin pump prescriptions" -Don't think of it as a glow down... Think of it as a blow up -Turned into Not so slim shady -"In all seriousness, you really need to seek treatment for hormone imbalance, your estrogen and testosterone is all out of whack! It’s quite obvious by the Gynecomastia you’ve got going on and it also contributes to weight gain as well! No need to suffer unnecessarily and it’ll start causing other issues as well that can’t be seen, but you’ll definitely be aware of it, if you don’t get treated!" -"Damn bro, she really hurt you" -Young Sheldon got fat. BAchickenTINGA -You're cute. Dress better. -You ate too much after high school. -Only way youre getting roasted is with an apple in your mouth -You look like a fat version of the NHL player Taylor Hall -Boy loves the sodies -Glow down?! More like a chow down. -Thank you for helping me not drink again today -You have the face of a guy that lost a bet and had to tit implants…you also have the body of a guy that lost a bet and got tit implants. -You were behind the eclipse on the 8th weren't you -"I like how youve managed to grow a vagina. You got fat, soft - estrogen increased. You lost your facial hair, receding hair line -- you're literally becoming a form." -Your a stud homie. I'm a comic and I roast people but you still are a very handsome young man -Did you ball just give up? No more testosterone for you. -Nothing wrong. I see a young man with his whole life ahead of him. Pick a couple of small goals. Getting up early. Brushing our teeth an extra tine a day. Go for a walk or two. Read what you don't know about. Don't worry bro. You're gonna take the world. Hold ypur gead high. Youre the king. Peace -From jackass to jacks-to-his-own-fatass -A bit? Dude you got preggers -Jogging is free. -"Yall remember that girl recently that was actually in a horrible place and not one person roasted her? I get the same feeling when I got back from the second pic to the first pic. Keep it up bud, you've got many many years ahead of you." -Join the Marines..... -This is what lazy looks like -Went from Matt Damon to Michael moore -"Seriously buddy, you have striking good looks. Don't waste your youth. A little bit of effort and you would be in your prime." -Get your shit together you fat fuck. -So you didn’t get your jugs til after high school eh? If you were a woman that could be a pleasant surprise for people who hadn’t seen you since graduation. In your case…..not so much. -You could fix this in a matter of 3 months -Get it together know the hoes missing you -i’d cuddle you -Time to glow back up -I mean. You got body bro chest is sitting and that stomach is hot -Nice tits bro -"You are cute, handsome young man. 😍 Self-deprecating is toxic and you don't need it. Love your self." -I would have called it a blow up -"More than ""a bit"" there big fella - -Lock tf in" -You went from looking like chad to looking like you ate chad -You're still here on Planet Earth. That's a blessing. Think about your classmates who aren't here. So you don't look the same way you did when you were a kid...there are more important things in life. Keep pressing. Be happy.🤗 -"You look like Arnie’s son. No, the other one." -At least you’re still cute -Bulking szn -You probably hate Andrew Tate but believe me listening to him would improve your life -You fat boy -Hide the honeybuns -Nah bro. Looks like you're dealing with some serious shit. I wish the best for you mate. -"So much potential bro your not even too far gone. A simple 6-8 months on a diet, lifting weights, training,or something like that you’d be everything you are not now. Too bad your too lazy to put in the work…" -"Big glow down here, give you a kick in the butt, you can do better" -"I’m not gonna roast you. It happens, brother. Be kind to yourself. You can still turn it around, if you want to." -Boy can fuckin eat 💀 -God damn you got fat man. I’ve heard of fragmen 15 but damn dude you put on a freshmen 50 -Fat tub of shit. -"Jesus christ you really let yourself go - -I mean you couldnt hold on any longer with that physique" -I’m not even trying to roast you what the fuck happened -"You look unhappy, I Hope that your future gets brighter. Keep Strong and know that things will get better." -"“I’m lgbt I identify as a frying pan, my dad kicked me out of my house and I live in my grandpas toyota and eat raw meat.”" -Tits be looking like an upside down destiny logo. -wtf happened dude -From f boy to fed boy -You’ve got blimpy -Why didn't you post the picture of the glow-up? Is it that bad? -Bro just go gym it ain’t no glow down you just being lazy.. you not too far gone. -Damn homie back in high school you was the man homie -"I mean that’s not a glow down, just picked up weight. Solution is to pick up weights. You could look better if you wanted" - Hit some weights do better. Get back into whatever it was you once loved that kept you from being a fatty. -All you gotta do is lose the weight. You’re a good looking fella. Nobody can see it because you’re overweight. -I think your adorable. -Did you meet your dad yet? -"What the f*ck is a glow down? Sounds awful. - -Your handsome so you’re lucky there. You need to start following David Goggins. Lift brother lift! - -You’ve packed on the mass.. that’s good. Now start molding that mass into muscle! You’re gonna be a giant! Girls are gonna drool when you walk by. Basic body resistance stuff at home. Find Pat Mac on Instagram if you run out of ideas. - -No soda. No beer. Water? Ok! Coffee? Black only. Tea? Black only. - -Cheers!" -Lose a few pounds a week and in about a year you’ll see your dick again. -Fat fuck -I... feel too sad for you to roast you :( -"no roast - -idk if ur bulking but u should body build ur person - -come up be real, no diddy\* but u could pull biddies unless ur just a odd fellow in general - -glow back up mane, ive never been that wieght (no diss) so i cant really say much - -but know, a better daily life, shit a long full life is possible - -not that weight is what makes you U! - -deff has a play tho - -ur young, thank god ur not a older set person, after a certain point gaining weight like that is hard to bypass - -YOU ARE YOUNG , TAKE ADVANTAGE BROSKI" -Na fam you ate that kid in high school this is a blow up. -First pic came to 2nd pics school: “He doesn’t even go here!” -Scp-3199 -Did you eat the others in your graduating class? -"That’s OK, Covid was rough on all of us. You can turn it around!" -Looks like he's smuggling a big piece of ham and some pork belly -If you ever need money sell some breast milk from them udders -R u on a year long bulk or just fat -"Glow down?, more like a blown up" -Titties! -"Glow down, blow up, potato potato" -Hit the gym before its too late! -Dont be so hard yourself bitch tits -Wow first pic thought it was an ugly chick great transformation -At least your tits and chin share the same bra size -Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure your World of Warcraft account gained as much weight as you did. -Don’t feel bad about those budding bosoms. you’re at that age where ur becoming a woman now. that’s all. Bet your mums are so proud 🥹 -Best shot for you is probably Ozempic -Bro was so focused on eating he couldn’t put the Roast Me postage up the correct way -Damn bro did you travel back in time and eat yourself -Which photo did you think was the good one? Both photos are of some ugly guy. -Dude… you look like you lost brain cells somehow -Damn I’ll bet if you passed somebody from ur high school in public they wouldn’t even know it was you 💀 -I'll pass...if I roast you then I gotta invite the whole neighborhood over. No way I could eat that much long pork by myself. -"There are people who play basketball, there are people who don't play basketball, and then there are people who are basketballs" -Nice tits -Figures you'd put the before pic second. -"Speaking of chubby, those titties are giving me a chubby." -Dang Bobby from King of the Hill is all grown up now -Give me my wok back. -I see you’re still wearing the same shirts from high school too. -If you thought you were glowing in high school you've got a dark future -Bro went from Matty B to Nikocado Avocado in 12 months -Looking like you went from basketball star to cosplaying the basketball -thought it was a before and after picture before I read the title -"You may have had a glow down, but your tits definitely had a glow up!" -Don't know what you ate to get like that but it sure wasn't pussy -"Did you eat the valedictorian? - -We know that you ain’t it" -This is just the embodiment of sadness. -Belly like a bin bag full of custard -Did you just put your recent victim in the second picture or what -"no roast, just pity." -Roast you? Oh buddy I think you've had enough roast. -"You always had the potential, but it's just now you're reaching for the stars. Deep fried, filled to the brim with lard Stars." -You look like you slap a mean bass -Oh shit -"Skinny and face like a dropped pie -fat and a face like two dropped pies" -Glow down? I think you mean blow up. -Dude just stop eating ffs. It's not that hard. -So many folds they should call you Origami. -When are you expecting? -peaked in hs -Why does your high school pants have a piss spot? 🤔 -"your features didn’t actually changed much, it’s just that you ate your 4 year old and their lunch." -"Your clothes have reached capacity , at this point it’s a fire hazard" -You look like Japanese fishermen should be hunting you into extinction. -More like a glow out -How many places have you eaten out of business? -I bet even looking at that indoor hoop behind you wears you out now. -By glow do you mean gain lots of weight cause sir you are the Emperor of BitchTitsVille! -Alex Jones warned us that the chemicals in the water would make these. -A bit... -The living embodiment of “peaked in high school.” -I think you lost this *hands you a jawline* -looks like you graduated to a couple of D's -At least you're less likely to be kidnapped -Ugly -glowed down blowed up -"Just because you can eat something, doesn’t mean you should eat it." -You look like you hang out with Kyle Rittenhouse. -Ace Venchurro -Looks like someone corrected the fact you used to think broccoli was donut holes. Could've happened to anybody. -When is the baby due? Good thing is you’ll never have to buy formula. -"You look like that kind of guy that goes to the gas station kiosk to buy a Mars, gets pissed off because they run out and so revenge buy 3 Twix" -"You looked like shit then, you look like bigger, half-melted shit now." -You look like the whitewashed version of nikocado avocado -Ted from 60 seconds!!!! -No roasting here would top your own disappointment on how things turned out. -Congratulations! Third trimester? -Wish Kyle Rittenhouse -Looks like in high school you wanted to be slim shady but after graduating ended up doing the opposite. -You took personal growth way too literally. -He has bigger titties than the average America’s next top model. -Roasting this pig would be like 60% crackling. -Blubba sparks -Bruh… Looks more like a blow up vs a glow down. -You look like a life size rotisserie chicken on 2 feet 😂 -A bit? -Tell me youre a gamer without telling me youre a gamer -Looks like you took steroids cuz you thought it would level your video game characters faster -You were fat.. 80 lbs ago. -“… a bit…” is the understatement of the year… -Where's the glow down? You just went from skinny ugly to fat ugly. -A bit? That’s a whole different person -Damn son. You went from Tom Hardy to Tom Arnold. -"You don't need to roast my guy, you need a life coach, id suggest talking to someone and maybe get into therapy, you look depressed." -After high school? Looks like you ATE the high school -I doubt your looks are the only thing that have gone downhill since high school. -Can't be a glow down if you didn't glow to begin with -I see you’ve switched to wearing the backpack on the front -Post estrogen treatment -That’s more of a blow up than a glow down. -Basket belly -"Well the good news is it wasn’t a freshman 15, more of a freshman 50." -Glow down? You started/continued Eating like a garbage can you mean -At least you got the tits you look like you dreamed about in high school -Going for that Josh Duggar ima touch your kids look I see. -We're you baptized at Sea World? -Only 6 more off the 7 deadly sins to go. -No way that’s the same dude. You got so fat your eyebrows changed shape and color?? What the time lapse in this? 2 years? 5 years? 10? -If you glow any downer you’ll be a high school -You look like you after you ate your high school self -"Glow down nah -You had a whole light down" -A bit? -When you leave the candle burning too long. -Went from “Can I have your number?” to “Can I have your leftovers?” -Think the only thing glowing is your microwave light -Looks like you done roasted and ate high school you -More like a bit of a blow up -I’ve heard of people absorbing their twin but this is ridiculous -"You better get back on the Adderall fast go back to school take some extra credit add-on optional phys-ed classes before someone titty fucks you. - -8====○ ~~ ~ ( ° )( ° ) - - -Fat Damon's tittes getting smashed." -"""A bit""😭" -Them tiddies are on the glow down now -Why are your tits nicer than mine? 🥲 Men never appreciate what they have. -I’d say you ain’t gonna chase any bitches but the only thing you chasing is a Big Mac that fell off the table -His metabolism gave up on life harder than he did -I can now confirm that black men are attracted to fat white women -It's not earth that pulls you you pull on the earth -"You should wear a bra, then tiddies are already saggy." -Fuckin Chuck Norris -"your tits were spot on! -now just meh." -"Not too late to turn it around. Diet first, then exercise 👍" -Make sure to rotate the insulin shots because you’ll end up with painful bruises if you don’t. -I was hoping this was a before and after. Not a now and then. -Glow down being the result due to not being able to put the burger down -comment -“Recovering” -"If I had a time machine and a picture of you, I could probably end the fentanyl epidemic." -If Hepatitis C were a Pokémon. -Using public bathrooms for one subscriber at onlyfans -I wouldn't even ride you into battle -"I'm genuinely proud of your journey, but where are the after pics?" -"how you manage to look bald with hair, your face reminds me of the bald doll from toy story" -You look like you use sex as an icebreaker on the first date -Quitter -Why does it look like you pull hair out of the shower drain to wear on your head? -"Fucking hell, why did they cast Shawn Wallace as the lead in this Amy Winehouse biopic?!" -You have more red flags than a Chinese military parade. -"Without makeup, you look like Don Rickles" -"Gotta be really sad that you can’t even get people to roast you. Add that to the list, guys won’t hit on you, puppies won’t play with you, hell sounds like drugs won’t even do you anymore." -How many times have you tried to smoke that brown rock on your face? -Bet you put dealers out of business when you sobered up -Aperenttly anyone who fucks her gets to scribble some shit on her -"You were on meth, right? Cuz you and your surroundings are hella methssy." -I’m assuming you popped or snorted the drugs cause I can’t see you keeping a needle hard enough to penetrate your skin -Daddy didn’t make you cry enough? -"Your OnlyFans is predictably, completely unused, unlike the needles you still crave." -You look like you strip in a renovated double-wide on the side of the highway during weekday lunch. -"Sorry to tell you this, but you OD'd and died about 5 months ago!" -"You look like a shitty Wednesday Adams. Maybe Saturday night Adams. This girls like a birthday cake, everybody’s going to get a piece" -Having to take Plan B five days a week doesn't mean you're a drug addict... It means you love the D. -Wne you order your Goths from Temu -"Glad you got out of the drug scene, shit is dangerous and lord knows there would be nobody reporting you missing if something happened" -"Bill Cosby wouldn't even make you a drink. - -*serious note: congrats on getting clean" -"In the years to come a shop floor supervisor is going say ""get back to work"" and it's gonna give you habit feeding flashbacks" -Recovering? -If we could somehow attach solar panels to your forehead and point you at the sun we could potentially power the electricity of the world for at least 3 to 4 thousand years. -She’ll take 7 selfies for an hour but can’t text her grandma how her kids are doing between crushing up oxies. -you are my favorite type of girl. Drug Skank -No I don’t want to click the link in bio. But I do want you to clean up that pipe off your bed. And for fuck sake eat out of a bowl and not a mug left on your bed. Your room looks like a 15 year olds from 2009. Jesus Christ -At least you have nice tits. I’m sure your decent body is the result of genetics and nothing you put hard work into. -You look like discharge smells -Idk maybe give drugs another shot -"Cum is not a drug, how can you be in recovery if you collect from any dealer?" -The recovery hasn’t been going long I’m assuming -What drugs were you taking? Testosterone and horse tranquilizers? -That girl will steal your heart. Literally. -My chemical romance? More like my chemical dependency. Amirite? Ba dum tss -"When they say ""dont stick your dick in crazy"" - you could be the diagram they use to show the example of ""crazy""" -Congratulations on your recovery and remember when you get the urges to get high just think of all the times you sucked off your creepy uncle/step dad/strangers in the Speedway bathroom or just think of how much porn there is of you online. -Rick Moranis doppelgänger -"They tried to make me go to rehab, and Im a hoe, hoe, hoe" -Recovering from last night and starting again today. You can do it girl! -"One of those tattoos says, ""I fear soap""" -"Oki, Amanda Bynes." -The most surprising thing about this is no onlyfans link in your profile -You’ve had a lot of sex in a public restroom… -Are your knees still bruised from all the pipe you smoked? -"I would have liked you to tell me something that I hadn't already gathered from your expressionless, tired eyes." -I think the drugs are the ones that need to recover -Congrats on the recovery. Not here to roast you but to let you know you’re not alone. 9 years. #wedorecover -Girl looks like the only time she meets guys is in their nightmares -Roastme has been showing me lots of titties recently... -"Well, we might have taken the crack out of the crack whore, but… pretty sure you were voted most likely in your class to use sex as a strategy to steal copper and catalytic converters." -I never knew it was possible to have a reverse erection until I saw your photos. -Your body has done more drugs than a pharmaceutical lab. -"Congrats, now let's see the after results" -"Pic number 2 legit scared me - - -The optical illusion shirt didn't help btw. We could still tell you're ugly" -It’s more like the drugs gave up on you -"Never seen any1 go from a ten to a one so quick. - -Bet you did horrible shit for a fix." -"After viewing this, I'm back to drugs" -"For your part-time job, do you work as a Hot Topic mannequin?" -"Congratulations on your recovery. - -I don't know what's the bigger disaster your life or your room." -Want to cry? I just spilled an entire 8-ball onto the carpet -You should first re-cover your whole body including the face. -"It’s not even a roast, just a general question, -Is that spider man’s whole ballsack on your hand or just one ball bag?" -"Your eyes are in the middle of your face, never seen that" -Rawr!! It's the walking UTI at warped tour!! -You might be the first person that looks like they got fat using cocaine -Holy shit 10/10 for being a drug addict at 24. Glad you got that shit squared away -You look like the type who would teach their dog to lick their pussy. -Even those needles caught an STD -You look like you wipe back to front -You should take that amy winehouse thing all the way -You look beautiful in hell -"You desperately need a nose job, but can’t sell yourself to afford it because you need a nose job…" -If only your self esteem was as high as your drug tolerance -It’s really helpful showing pictures like this so people can see the ravages of narcotics. Can we see some of the photos of you in recovery now? -Low rent Bride of Chucky impersonator. -"You look like a 16 year old who got into mom's art supplies -and decided to give yourself""tattoos""" -We are all crying and need therapy after seeing your picture -Only a drug addict will take selfies in a mould ridden grotty public toilet -We already knew you had a drug problem lol -Is that a rest stop bathroom ? -I feel sorry for those drugs that had to go through your system -"24 with makeup on 44 without it. Don’t be fooled fellas. This one is damaged goods. -Make sure you get a penicillin shot before and after your ride on this jar mayonnaise" -She wants us to roast her just so she has an excuse to relapse….. do your worst fellas. -How much do you charge to haunt houses? -"Clean your room! Nice body, bet that pussy is wrecked though." -Was that giant mole addicted too? Holy Moley -Odds outta Vegas for relapse are + 500 -Just post your nudes already no one cares about your story -Shoulda stuck to the drugs -Why do 14 year old keep posing as 20+ on this site? -A face even a needle would go limp to. -I bet it's so hot to see you try to buy 300 Sudafed at 2am 🥵 -"""I used to do drugs, I still do drugs, but I used to too...""" -You make me wanna give up alcohol and take up fentanyl. My eyes shouldn’t have been subjected to this. -I don't want to make you cry. I just want to tell you you're beautiful just the way you are. Good job sweetie -"You look exactly like Amy Winehouse. - - - -Like literally now.." -Even the dog is shocked by the smell -this is where you're glad that reddit doesn't have smells.... -Are there any tears left? -"Don't bother posting your OF link, not even the very tasty heroin would hit that" -Really like the picture with your boyfriend in the end -Has only like 5 showers to go before she washes off all the cumshots that paid for her dope. -You’re the stripper they put onstage just before they close at dawn -"Congrats on getting clean, are the prices still the same?" -"Straight to porn, it's the only option" -I bet she sucked lots of pee pee for drugs -Nothing says tramp like and half naked photo in the bathroom mirror -Looks like you've seen more dick ends than weekends -You just look like a bunch of stupid narcissistic problems. -Queen of the trailer park -"Great job on staying away from your particular addiction, but tattoos and pasty white makeup look are no replacement for a personality." -Recovering huh? The first day is always the hardest…. -Wow the makeup really adds to that shitty look 🤦‍♂️ -Lot Lizard -How are you going to explain your face now that you're clean? -That makeup doing wonders huh? See ya Monday at the methadone clinic. -No one cares. -Recovered? Hardly -Why quit now? I don’t think OF cares if you do drugs. -You look like your voice would sound like how gonorrhea feels. You look like you've had the clap so many times it's more of an applause. -Did you just start recovering today? -She OD'd so much she got addicted to Narcan -Thought I was in the Am I Ugly sub. -There are paper bag girls and then there are plastic bag girls. -Plot twist: the drugs are recovering from her. -"Please don't lower yourself by posting here. -Your too beautiful and the trolls will take you down. -I know I going to get massively down voted but delete this and then don't give a phuck what people think of you. - -It doesn't matter one bit,you be your strongest self" -Let me guess. You have borderline personality disorder? -there is no recovery from this -Not much to roast here… -She looks like her pussy stinks all the time. -"Whenever they tell you, you don’t need all that makeup, don’t listen to them. You definitely do need makeup." -"Sweetheart, let Fentanyl take its course." -"Drugs are baddddd, but you certainly ain't" -"You ever seen that movie Penelope, about the girl with the pig nose? Yea you look like her" -How can you face yourself without face filters?? -You’re going to make such a nice smoker voice lady that works at the Taco Bell someday. -At least you could've blamed the drugs as the reason for not cleaning your room. -My vibe honestly would tear ya limb by limb -Can I see more pictures of your dog? -Go back to drugs -You put the “crack” in Cracker Barrel -I‘d say I can fix her but actually the chances are slim -"The psycho type of girls, daddy must’ve hurt u so bad" -Incoming OF in 3...2...1... -I can smell these photos 🤢 -You were cooler when you were on drugs. -You look like a Disney princess who missed a turn and ended up in skid row. -"Please for the love of all things sacred, get back on drugs!" -*Yoda voice* Recovering? Still using you are! -The one time I wish drugs won. -Going a couple hours without a bump does not mean recovering. -Was not prepared to see a skin coloured goblin today. -"I do have $5 for getting my dick sucked. I'd like the change afterwards though. Can you at least do that or is everything disappointing about you? - -edit: typo" -Even your dog looks strung out. -I'd wear 4 condoms just to shake your hand -You look like those people's from Tales from the street -Yall make sure you get your antibiotics because I got syphilis just from reading this post -"Awww, so cute! No, not you, the dog." -You should always wear makeup -Five bucks says you drives a Pontiac. -You look like discount Temu Mila kunis. -"You see a recovering addict, I see a $5 blowjob and an emotional punching bag." -Nice tits. Wait…did I do this right? -Antibiotics are drugs too -"Maybe if I double wrap it? - -Nah, there aren't enough condoms in the world." -Make you cry? Daddy just got back with milk and cigs. -If Alice Cooper and Greta Thunberg had a baby. -"I just tried to crank one out to your photos, nothing happened." -"Ah the difference between a father's love and we'll this... good on you though, many would have accepted defeat by now, and for good reason, but you're a really trooper. Now go run off and find the next person to disapoint." -"Anyone seen gremlins 2? You know the lady gremlin, it’s uncanny" -Recovering drug addict? Is the 2$ blowjob deal still available? -The only thing guaranteed in your future is copious dicks and relapse -"Did you quit by choice, or because you're so fucking ugly even the needles don't want to be inside you?" -Look like you get cock for your drugs little whore -"Daddy only loved you for your body, and so will everyone else. DM me" -Recovering drug addict yeah stopping drug use for half hour is not recovering and it shows now go get my money on that corner no one feels sorry for you you brought it to yourself crack head -Probably get back on the drugs. Its the best future you have any hope of -You have no value now that you're not fun and no one really likes you anymore. You should relapse -You definitely turned tricks for a bump... -How does it feel knowing you look twice your age and everyone who fucks you does so because they know you’re easy? -So that’s where Rick Moranis has been. -If backpage and a relapse had a mascot... -"“Mommy, where’s daddy?” were your first words." -"Hey, Troll dolls aren't supposed to be IRL!" -"Well, you're happy and that's all that matters I guess" -"They call you Marathon, because you've been ran through" -Being addicted to sperm just makes you a whore -A trash bin in person -Is that anything like being split roasted -You look like my sleep demons. -If walk of shame was a person -You look like you light your nipples on fire just to feel something -"You’re going to live a sad life looking for validation on the internet, and from men (obviously). Spoiler alert, you’ll never get it" -"Why? Someone please explain why ppl do this? Why would you want someone to roast you? Congratulations on you’re recovery, ik it wasn’t easy." -You knew better -Even your dog is scared of your looks -Didn’t need to tell me i can clearly see -Can’t do it. You’re too cute -You definitely been sex trafficked -"It's gonna be hard when you've all ready hit rock bottom. And by rock bottom I mean getting your ass used for cheap while your face is in a line of cocain. Kind of remind me of my ass, claimed to be a drug addict but in all reality was just a dumb slut" -Hell you’re doing just fine keep up the good work -Abilify Incarnate. -I bet you can guzzle a pound of coke in 2 minutes. -"Oh look it’s a “mean girl” - - -(Congratulations on your sobriety 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿)" -"Whoa, Suicide Girls is still a thing?" -"Ok, now show us the pics of you sober... - -On a serious note, congrats on the recovery. Wishing you the very best!" -You really made jesse pinkman upset when you died on him like that -I hope your dad isn't an air traffic controller. -Newb question why do so many ppl like getting brutally roasted on Reddit? -You're too pretty to roast 😍 Sorry -I can't roast you. I'm too proud of you for overcoming your addictions. Great job -I'm only here to support recovering from addiction. I'm sure I could roast you but I simply don't want to. Congratulations Sheldon Cooper -"Not really a roast, but sort of a roast. More so a genuine question. - -Why do girls that have a similar face to yours always have issues?" -Which gave you HIV first? The needles? or unprotected sex? -"I seriously can’t tell if these pics were taking before or after active addiction. Hopefully they’re before, cause if not, that bowl on your bed says you’re not in recovery anymore." -More pricks than a second hand dart board -How much do you charge to haunt a house? -"The biggest burn would be that you will likely ""relapse"". The cult you are in is forming cognitive dissonance that you will only be able to overcome by yourself. Based on your very stupid choice of wardrobe you will fail at this." -Oh you're recovering not using? -Is it possible to get herpes from roasting somebody? -You look like your onlyfans is $25 a month but you only have 4 subs -This is a skank -You really didn’t need to specify the drug addict part. It’s very apparent. -"You're beautiful, but you've been through a lot and it shows. You need to move out to the country with your dog and spend less time around people for a couple years. I wish you all the luck in the world. - -That was a shitty roast ... sorry." -"I was instantly transported to middle school when I saw this pic. - -I predict your future to be full of children you didn't want, with a man you never loved." -"'Recovering drug addict', yeah ok, just wait till you meet a guy named Jesse see how you end up." -You definitely sucked a few dicks for your fix -I’m not even going to check but I’m assuming there is an OF link in bio -Was the drug Ozempic? Because maybe you should start using again. -Weird that they made Sid from Toy Story trans but there you are. -Your body says 24 but your face without makeup says 35. -Why not post pictures of you off the drugs? -"No… it’s ok, keep doing them." -The reason tattoo artists wear gloves. -Your life isn't actually any different now that you've given up drugs. Sorry. 🤷🏼‍♂️ -"Can't do it. I volunteer with people in recovery, so I can only say congratulations!" -"I bet you’ve had so many dudes inside you that Uber sent you a congratulatory 20,000 trip email." -"Better without the makeup, less is more ! Keep up the good work. Stay drug free , stay in control and God Bless you." -Really shows your lack of commitment it's a shame -That poor dog’s fur looks so uncomfortable. -I can see your meth pipe in the background -Everyone bow! The Trailer Park Princess is here! -Poor dog. -"I'm not going to roast you. -I'm going to wish you well on your journey of recovery. -You can do this" -"How come I have a feeling you have an Only Fans for only $3.99 per month with only one subscriber, your dad." -I can smell you from here -Ngl usually a hater but u are really pretty -$10 says she starts an OF if she already doesn’t have one -All I know for sure is that I definitely have a type. -Looks like you got AIDS without even getting laid -I can smell the cum and crack in her room -comment -You look like the final boss at a Subaru dealership -Is the gorgeous figure in the room with us now? -"On a side note, It’s refreshing to see a real ‘roast me’ post for once, instead of another cute girl fishing for compliments." -Objects in camera are bigger than they appear -I feel bad for your spot on the couch -You're the girl that always gets in the way and prevents us from hitting on your hot friends. -"Fast forward 10 years… bad back, chub rub has gotten worse, driving for uber to support your 3 kids from four potential daddies and your mom wants you to move out." -6’1” across? -Whoever asked for these pics should be slapped. -We’re gonna need a bigger spit for this roast. -Glizzo -Goth John Candy -If I shaved my beard off we could be twins! -Guess your first pic is on tinder and the rest are not. -Roller derby team captain -You look like if Meg Griffin grew up at Chernobyl -Literally the epitome of we have Goth tiddies at home -Parachute panties are the first thing I think about when I glance at your body. Your panties can literally save lives. -I didn’t know they made goth bowling pins. -"Big gut small tits, the worst of both worlds…" -"With that much vertical real estate, you still managed to max them out horizontally. Impressive" -Ok Phyllis -The amount of material used to make your clothing left an entire block of Indian people naked across the ocean. -Just 18? Damn -Very bovine of you. -who the fuck was the perv that asked more (and full body) of this? I bet even **he** regrets it now -"So you're eligible for the draft in 4 years. -(The NFL draft not the WNBA)" -"I cant decide, If you ate for 2 or You ate the two." -"6'1 by 6'1 by 6,1 ....cool just like a giant rubix cube" -"Wow, the third picture is a really good picture of the partial eclipse everyone was talking about a few weeks back." -Fupa enters a room 1 minute before your face -its gonna be like stealing snacks from a vending machine down there -You are a black man’s wet dream. -Getting serious ‘cock blocker at the club’ vibes with you!! -You're gonna spend your 20s correcting people on your pronouns. -No need to show them off. Having big tiddies because you're fat is like having a fast car because it's falling off a cliff. -Goth Gorlok -You look like every single person that has ever screamed at a man for eating a cheeseburger next to a Peta rally -"18 looking like a 40 yr old soccer mom trying to reconnect with who she was in '08. - -Btw weight loss is easy - eat in a caloric deficit." -This is exactly why she posted face pics to begin with. She even tried catfishing on Roastme. -You look like you escaped a snuff film set -"Wow, you're so beautiful and slim, plus your fashion sense is so on-point. Said nobody ever!" -You forgot to upload the after picture. -The elusive subgenre Golden Corral Goth -What sort of cheese does your belly button smell like? -"“Was asked to post full body pics” - -No thanks." -your belly button gets home 5 minutes before you -"6'1 270. - -Girl Call Aaron Donald and get to WORK. - -Not enough good pass rushing DTs in the league." -I’m still waiting to see the woman who is 6’1 with a gorgeous figure. Can someone contact a mod and report this atrocity? -"Where is the 18F? I only see the middle aged concessions worker at a Rocky Horror Picture Show, who consistently eats all the profits." -“That’s a huge bitch!” -Fuck you doin on Reddit. Chicago Bears need you at Left Guard -"It's hard to make 6'1"" look short, but here we are." -If you throw a snack at her it starts orbitting around her -I guess I'd eat until my face wasn't my worst feature too. -"This is the only time I'll actively *suggest* an eating disorder... - -To both get your weight under control... - -And your delusions of grandeur 😐" -"If Thanos snapped, half of you would just melt away like you're in a Slimfast commercial." -What you said is debatable. -10 out of 10 would (not) smash. -Built like Donald Trump... But with bigger hands -Trust me know one asked for full body pics -How many times will you post threads here? -61 stone figure -"Asked by who, the WNBA?" -Gorged* spelled gorgeous wrong. -Who told you that was gorgeous? -Damnit. Did they change the definition of gorgeous when they were trying to change the definition of woman? I can’t keep up anymore.  -Define gorgeous! -"6'1"" wide?" -Snow White and the 7 doughnuts a day -*The Big Shows intro starts* -It's as bad as I knew it would be. -Nice plumbers crack -Harry Potter isn't real. you'll never marry him. -"Morbidly-obese, that is the way MANY GenZers roll." -You're the type whose dating app profile is all pictures of you with the same 3 friends so you can trick a dude into a date. -Well I don’t know about gorgeous but you’ll definitely make a fine cum dumpster. -6'1 wide? -How can one be horizontally tall? -Oh your body is full alright....full of chicken. -"I’m not even gonna look but I’m guessing this is an onlyfans ad. Will update. - -Edit: holy shit i was wrong." -5 beers in and I’m throwing your legs back. -You look like if a Hyundai Veloster was a person -"REFRIGERATOR, USE COCKBLOCK 💥" -Can you please NOT post full body pics... Reddit made a mistake. -She has her own orbit by now -I think you’ve had enough roast -I thought this was a post on r/tall and I was like why is everyone being so rude lol -Got the gorge part right. -How many black guys a day ask you if someone is taking care of you or not? -They say black is slimming. I guess not always -"6'1"" but horizontally" -built like a fridge -"Finally, back to the gross fat girls without a chance in hell of an OnlyFans. - -Thank you, this is refreshing." -"6'1"", 280 Lbs. Built like Dick Butkus." -You need panorama mode to make full body picture -Marilyn Mayonaise. -Size* 18f -Leave some food for the rest of us! You are personally responsible for the declining birth rate. -Welcome to Disney World. The scooters are over here mam. -You and the rest of the world have differing definitions of gorgeous.. -im so in love with you (in a gay way) -you look like youre gonna start cutting if the right comment hits home -Bouncer at the local hot topic -Do you drink 2% because you think your fat? -You could solve world hunger...as the main course. -You don't have to listen to the voices in your head when they ask you something -"Holy shit, you're the girl in the plapjak meme." -"In the year of our Lord, 2024, we don’t yet have hoverboards or flying cars but, alas, we’ve mastered the art of belt-making. We can and shall hang our collective hats on the structural integrity of such a marvelous contraption capable of containing…that." -What do you even call a Goth pudding? -So everyone was correct last time -🎶there's a wonderful world of wobbly weebles🎶 -Whoever asked for those pics needs to be given an atomic wedgie. -6'1 tall with that shape? GOOO'GIRA -Little Miss Cock Block. -Same weight class as Tyson and Paul. -Wish version of Mortisha FATams. -I’m surprised a camera could capture your full body -lol inb4 this gets deleted out of shame. -"Wanted to roast but stopped thinking after 2nd pic.. -Dk what is more disappointing" -610 pounds too -"I said one at a time, not 5" -Always wondered what the goth girl from South Park would grow up to be. -Who said your 6'1 figure was gorgeous and why did you eat them? Was it out of spite? -You are not worth roasting! -"6 foot 1, and tons of fun!" -Cut down on the pies darling -"Someone's been taking strong doses of ""lizzo""." -Your very pretty girl but you need to lose a few pounds -Please hear me out guys😳 -"Death by snu snu, I am ready" -Rhea RipFarts -6’1 tall or wide? -"Odd looking face but id still hit that, and fyi that is not a full body pic, unless your legless and have no vagina" -"That first pic is well misleading to the rest unless one is already made aware that your skull is just too small in proportion to your torso. Or it could just be because your head looks like an egg sprouting some weird AF mold (aka, what passes for your hair). - -Non-roast note, tho: From someone goth to her fingertips since she was about 12, love your style." -No fans -Fans Hungry -Girl couldn’t even find a full piece of paper to write the r/roast me on -"5 inches taller, and you'd be a circle." -I’m guessing the 6’1 is actually her width. -Built like the friend that gets taken to a bar and says “She’s not interested”. -6’1” laying down?? -"You're the first woman to post on here I didn't see an OnlyFans comment for. Maybe if you ate more roasted food than fried, you'd get more people asking for your link." -Big Mac. Is that enough? -Diabetes and heart disease is so attractive -Jinkies Velma! I didn't realize you ate more Scooby Snacks than Shaggy and Scooby!!! -18 going on 30 with the body of a sack of potatoes -Why do fat girls now try and wear crop tops? It's so disgusting. Stop it now -Ok still waiting for the gorgeous part to happen -When’s this body positivity bullshit gonna end ? -I couldn't possibly roast you. I don't have access to an industrial oven. -Blair Weightwatchers Project -Shame on whoever asked for full body pics -"You know, just because someone asks you to do something, doesn't mean you have to do it." -more like just gorge. that’s it . Gross. -Isn't that Meg -Nice tits -Albino hulk -"Let's Play ""How do I know you're NOT a vegan?"" - -I can't tell what's heavier, your last 3 meals or all the Goth makeup you're wearing. - -Also...Step on me. Don't question it. 😌" -Calorie connoisseur -Yessss! Glamazon 101! -Pics are in Pano mode -Omg are you from the same batch of pop star test tube clones as massively successful lesbian singer Chappell Roan??? …. *But like from the reject pile?* 🫢 -Had me in the first half -I think she’s just asking for an actual roast -hannahowo's cast away sister emilyuwu -Are we talking roast like the full barbecue roast pig you ate in one sitting? -You look like a goth vampire that only feeds on Midwestern Walmart people. -Man how are you 6’1 and still fat -6.1 ? Is that the distance around? -"A 6.1? That’s generous, maybe a 1.6 on a good day" -She traded phytoplankton for cigarettes and coffee...Was giving up phytoplankton hard? is the ocean not edgy enough for you? -"""Gothapotamus""" -everyone just roasting her weight instead of something actually funny and unique smh 🤦 -"Pale as hell wearing the all black. Never seen a person in real life living out their own movie in black and white. You’re like that photo from Back to the Future- you get just a little bit more see through every time you ask the DJ to play more Bauhaus.  - -I swear to God this girl was wearing the same outfit from the 4th pic when she was an extra in the crowd every time I played Paint It Black in Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock. " -DiaRhea Ripley -You're maybe 6'1 horizontally -Whoever asked should be sentenced to life 💀 -Whenever asked is down bad 😭🤣 -How are you 18 but built like a middle aged dad who used to play football in college? -You look like you get mad when your “best friend” has a another best friend -Why do you dress like that? Is it because you think you will get laid when you won’t? -I didn’t know comps-loompa grew so big. You think they couldn’t that big. -What would your parents think seeing you in those clothes -"If I did roast you, you’d surely feed a village" -Asking yourself for full body pictures doesn’t count -your built like a red blood cell -You look like you get jealous of your phone when it dies. -"Not here to roast, ngl you are really pretty and seeing you confidently post yourself makes me appreciate my body type more (I have a similar body type to you). Feel free to downvote my comment if you didn’t want any compliments, I just thought w all the roasts maybe a compliment would be nice." -not a roast but i really love your take on alt fashion. it’s giving borderline whimsygoth (imo). -"You have a really awesome sense of style. Also, you're fat." -Someones gotta tell her that “roast me” is an invitation for insults and not a demand for food -"Okay. When are you gonna post the gorgeous 6'1"" figure? I'm still waiting." -"Those antidepressants aren’t working very well. They’re meant to elevate your mood, not your weight." -are any of you capable of a joke that doesnt involve weight -Reminds me of the Anime… My Hero Cafeteria or 7 Deadly Chins -comment -You didn't need specify being a 21 yr old virgin brother we know this -Good try alien.. I’ve seen MIB. You’re not fooling anyone -"Omar, Son of Borat! Back in your cage!" -Bro looks like Sid from Toy Story if he was a fentanyl addict -You should go somewhere that you can experience the total eclipse. The world deserves an extra 5 minutes where no one can see your face. -Don’t they have vitamins or sunlight where you live? -You look like you've never had a sip of water in your life -I was going thru depression til I saw you and realized people got it wayyyyyy worse than me -"I was expecting something funny, but in the end I read the same type of jokes from Borat. I really want to sleep after this" -Have you ever actually been outside your house ? -1944 concentration camp pov -How long has your father been a virgin? -Geez this is one of the heaviest roasts I've seen 😂 bro just needs some sunlight and exercise -Start working out and go to school. Better yourself. You really can do it! -"Yek shimesh! I live with my father, my brother and my uncle. It’s great, just the two of us…" -You look like a poster boy for the Kazakh famine -That interesting to see that Kazakhstan have internet 🛜 -I’ve seen dead plants with more life -His head is shaped like a fucking nut. -"You got this buddy. Don’t be too sad, you’ll have the chance to enjoy your life soon." -"Fucking hell you've given me third party depression. - -This is just sad." -I think you have suffered enough. -You look like kazahstans sixth most popular rent boy -Sorry mate I only have my card on me -I don't want to. This makes me sad. -You look like you are unhappy with your transition from female to male. -"This is the saddest and most pathetic bio yet. By the sounds of it, God's roasted you enough already. Fuuuuuck." -Your handwriting matches your hairline perfectly -You look like Stewie Griffin -How do you have poor health with that hospital ass shirt? -Nothing much to roast really. Go out and get some loving young king -You look like the kid who tried too hard in gym class -You should clean those leftovers off your top lip if you’re ever planning to get laid. No one wants to see week old gravy smeared above your top lip. -"You look like the guy from that never give up YouTube channel. - -But if he gave up." -Bros built like a busted can of biscuits -You look like you have heart and thyroid problems -Bro roasted himself in the title -Complete your college or get a job instead of posting your exhausted photos on this subreddit. -You look like the reason people use condoms -I think you accidentally swapped the 1 with a 2 when disclosing your age. -"That background wallpaper yells ""former soviet country""..." -Didn't need to specify the virgin part. -Shaggy pre Scooby Doo -There is always someone worse off than you.  Live your life best as you can.  -"You look like the failed coat hanger abortion performed by your mom's brother, who you refer to as daddy." -tell your father that wallpaper is 70 years out of date -"I'm not gonnw roast you. I used to be you man. Start small, get up in the morning and do something for the first 4 hours of the day so you can trick your brain into falling asleep for the night. Don't use your phone an hour before bed. Eat high carbs at the end of the day, eat some protein the rest or whatever for the rest of the day and work out in SOME way, whatever suits you. Lift some weights and do pushups. Hammer curls for the biceps, wide arm pushups for the pecs. Sumo squats for the legs. Weighted if you want to. Have some compassion for yourself and meet a nice girl. Notice how our brains by default value the negative things over the positives. - -This is nature's doing not man's choice. Our rejection of reality is just our mind trying to protect us. And we never give it the time to stop and have compassion for the work that it does for us. You skinny little bastard..." -You'll be fine. -"bro, like back" -Nice shirt. Did you get it free when you got that haircut? -"O, ebatb, moia babushka iz Temirtau. Kak tesen mir" -Poster child for communist society -Looks like Dwight left The Office to pursue a heroin addiction... -You should be on the frontlines of the war. Any war. -I wouldn’t worry too much about being a 21 year old virgin. It’ll be far worse when you’re a 50 year old virgin -I’ve actually been to Temirtau! That’s more of a roast for me than for you. -you look just normal 🤫 -Can’t even spell your own country right -No way you made it to 21 without fucking a goat -Your football in the background looks shit -I think even your nostrils and lips are conspiring to suffocate you in your sleep by slowly increasing in size. -Stuart little on drugs -"Very nice, how much?!" -You look like a real mouth-breather. -Byproduct of coming from the same gene pool -"I won’t roast you, you are pre roasted" -But think on the positive side. You have the world’s greatest potassium ! -you look like a pigmi -"Its fitting that your hand looks enormous in pic 2, as you are obviously a massive wanker!" -Don't get why you'd need to say that you're a virgin when you've already put a pict of your face lol -"You didn't have to state the virgin part, the photo was enough." -Which nuclear reactor site did you say your dad worked at again? -What stage of HIV do you have? -"You must be the result of a broken lamb skin rubber, when a brother and sister were playing “Just The Tip Sis”." -You look like a schizophrenic at a Kazakhstani mental hospital that's so badly funded it's run out of antipsychotic medications. -I never Thought I'd see the where I would see what a stomach bug would look as a human. -"I hope that you health get better soon, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Stay away from smoke and from people smoking around you, also alcohol." -Nah bro. Life is roasting you already! Never kick someone who's already down! -"I was going to make fun of the city of Temirtau, but after looking at its Wikipedia page, that would be meaner than going after your looks." -the state of that wallpaper. Awful. -I can honestly say that you did not have to mention the fact that you're a virgin. We can all look at the picture and clearly see that would be the case. -How do you look 60 while also looking like an infant -Chernobyl reached you guys too huh -You’re the type of dude to look up and down before you cross the street -I’ve seen hostage videos with more joy in them. -There should be a lockdown just for your face -This thread is a great way for you to practice English and get to know the warped minds of the locals before your move to Canada. Bravo. -"I'm genuinely curious what you mean by poor health? (this is not a roast, just a question)" -You look exactly like someone I would imagine after reading the description that you gave -"You're gonna get roasted by all the radioactive waste in your country, so I'll pass." -Creepy now we know what a porcelain doll would look like if it grew up and did meth -Don't worry someday a woman with a better mustache than yours will make you a man -"I was going to roast you, but then I saw that wallpaper! Nothing screams ""former Soviet,"" than that heinous shit" -Look on the bright side. At least you have poor health. -I thought the boy in the striped pajamas died -Do they not have barbers in Kazakhstan -I feel too bad for you to break yer balls….living in Kazakhstan is bad enough -Caillou in his 20s -rads going crazy ! -I bet your mother has vagine like sleeve of wizard and yet you were the winning sperm. -You look like a cross between Eminem and Mr Bean -You look exactly like a virgin -Ma waiiiffee -You look like a cancer patient with severe Autism that haven’t seen sunlight in years and gets touched by the uncle we don’t talk about -"We don't need to roast you, God's done all the work." -If cocaine was a guy -"Yerk Skamersh, you must be Billo" -Kazakhstan sun will do it for us -Show us your wiener -somehow i can tell someone is from eastern europe simply by looking at their wallpaper lol -Fuckin blues clues lookin shit -The wife bag never really made sense until now... -Your parents tell everyone you are AI — Artificially Inseminated -You look like the reincarnation of Klaus Kinski. Don't have daughters. -"You look like brand ambassador of word ""emo""" -That wallpapers is sooo 70s and early 80s -“21 yo virgin” bro roasts himself then asks for more😂🤣 -I think my poop looks better than your personality. -I made that face once when I was fucking around with a character creation on a game -"Well at least you’re rough on the eyes , so you don’t have to worry about women burdening you." -"You didn't need to tell us you're from Kazakhstan, we can tell." -Ok I love all of you equally but this man don't got no one to love his handwriting is so poor makes his parents look like the kid next door that green shirt ain't probably greener than your teeth even on st Patrick's day they put your call on hold and that peoce of paper had better days r.i.p peice of paper -Thats buzzcut i keep me a lightyear away from this -You'll look great wearing a brown bag -Aggressive eastern european phrenology -Very nice.. -Health is not the only poor thing you have I suppose -"I dont know why, but he kinda reminds me of a GTA online charater" -You look like the actor that should have played Gollum -you look like a girl that looks like a boy who looks like a girl (…n) -You look like you fucked a monkey and got aids -Great Success!! -"Damn, Lorne Malvo's distant cousin got a new haircut" -"Nope, don’t feel like it - -Have a nice day :)" -Dance #pissy -will the real slim shady please stand up -"You know, taking a look at you. If you worked out... yeah, you'd be set man. If anything you'd be up on looking good and having a girlfriend maybe. Start small. Then focus on school. You actually dont have real bad facial features. If you had a little bit of muscle on you you'd look pretty decent." -"Nah, I’m good" -The last pic looks like a trans that gives up. -"I would never roast ANYONE with poor health, people have no idea what that is like until it happens to YOU. Wish you all the best lad!" -Nah nah nah nah nah. You’ll never get this. Lalalala () -do you live near a radiation facility? -"Blyat ibanku, Neighbor Vadim has partied to hard. His face is stuck in last month hangover" -"Who pre-stretches your shirt collars for you? Is that a style in the shithole you call home? Or did you try to tear it off yourself in the midst of a hormonal thyroid fit, using all your mediocre life probs/angst as strength but fell short at just stretching the collar? Also your virgin status is due to your lackluster whiney personality btw; not your looks unless its your style." -Two t-shirts! King in the castle. -"The only poor health that you had is.... -YOU TALKING LIKE MOTOR EXHAUST " -Nah. Life roasted you enough. -why is you still virgin and life is fvcking you everyday -You soft ass bitch -Bro looks like Matches from scooby-doo -It's nice. -"I don't want to roast someone with poor health , get stronger friend" -You will never get this you will never get this -"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can roast you any more than life already has. But hey, at least you're still alive, right?" -Your collar looks like sleave of wizard -"Looking pretty blurry, for a human" -Did your mum drink radioactive alcohol when she was pregnant with you -what dried paint looks at to feel bored -You look like you’ve seen 3 people die while you were a toddler. -"Get well from America, my friend. - -The Kazakh people are resilient ;)" -How many books were strapped to your head as a child to flatten it like that? -Man that fuckin wallpaper 😂 and is that a basketball made out of an actual cows bladder? -You have a guitar pick head with a last pick face -Time for new wallpaper. -your life is already roasting you bro -I am sorry that you are not feeling well and I hope you will feel better soon 🙏 -People really are kuckholded by the title virgin. It ain't that big of a deal you kuck. Now don't denigrate yourself. KuckKingKnight big ups bigman -I bet if you ask nicely your dad can help with your virginity problem. -I also like a good tiramisu -In 10 years you will be a 31 year old virgin living with your father -It looks like your wallpaper has more personality than you. -"Honestly bro, I don’t even wanna roast you 😔" -You look like the average Jew in 1944 -"Друг, это не усы. У тебя нет усов. Перестань себя обманывать." -"make an OF account, you'll make some cash then. Might not be alot with that face." -Precious Precious…yes master - hey Schmeagel -If each of us donate $1 we might be able to get this child a prostitute -Cute -Your still a virgin? ME TOO😭 -What’s wrong with your heart? -Your hand tells you it has a headache. -Is your sister number one prostitute in Kazakhstan? -bro are yall good? didnt you guys just have crazy floods over there -Выглядишь как черт -"If you were American, you'd be on a watch list and not allowed with 500 feet of a school. You still have a right to purchase the guns you inevitably will buy AND use." -" -I’m from Kazakhstan, Karaganda (the region where Temirtau is based) -Ask questions" -I knew M Night Shyamalan fucked up Avatar The Last Airbender. But I didn't think you'd stop getting roles. -Blue's Clues Special Ed edition -Can’t roast. You are too hard on yourself. You are a cute young man -Get back to me on this. -"Once again, stating you're a virgin is not necessary. It's about as subtle as a nuclear blast." -"Oh Michael, you poor sweet thing🥲 you don't have a thought behind those eyes do you😮‍💨 sweet boy 😔" -I got sick after looking at your picture. -Ive never seen a person look like every age from 0-38 -"Don’t worry, your family will roast you after you succumb to your health issue? It’s called cremation." -Looked at Termitau on google maps.. the only thing more lifeless than your eyes is where you live -God roasted you by choosing Kazahstan as your spawn point -Don’t worry little buddy you have already outlived your life expectancy. You don’t have much longer now -How do you look like you're 10 and 50 at the same time? -"At least you won’t die a virgin. - -Sure seems like God fucked you." -this is borat and his sisters son. -"Brother, life has roasted you enough" -You look sad man I’m sorry I hope shit looks up from here. Don’t worry about being a virgin most people your age have ran through a shit ton of people and are unhappy with themselves at least you didn’t give yourself away to some sluts. -Sid is that you?! -Shut up ratatouille. Stop eating tiramisu to gain health and gains with your Willy wonka golden ticket head ass -"Sick, 21, a virgin then you throw in you live in fucking Kazakhstan. Good luck man. Although I’m betting you would set of a Geiger counter." -"Try something called smiling, that might cure your virginity." -Who much dose your sister cost and is burat your dad -"Fucking shit bro, I used to live in Kazakhstan. Bless you and your family." -You look like you'd commit a genocide and not feel sorry about it -He has not had gonhorea many times ladies very much not like him high 5. Lalalalala -Привет как ваши дела face ass -Bros life can NOT get any worse -Kazakhstan\* -Your look fit your description perfectly -I think that this roasting thing is unhealthy. I will pray for your health. Being a virgin just means you haven't been totally screwed yet. Celebrate that fact. -Another month or 2 and that railroad eyebrow network should be done -You seem kind guy honestly -How are you still a virgin when your sister Natalya is number 4 prostitute in all Kazakhstan?! 🇰🇿 -Қотақбас бля -He looks like he goes to the bar to order milk. -Sid from toy story. -Wow so it's true in Kazahstan they are so poor they can't afford a chin. -Bro don’t even blame you for being a virgin who the fuck gets bitches in Kazahstan -Born raised and dead virgin -"Don’t be so glum, you’ll get the ring back before they take it to mount doom" -"Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say ""You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la."" He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs. She goes ""You never get this."" But one time he break cage and he ""get this"" and then we all laugh. High five!" -May you find peace young soul -Is your sister the #1 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan? -Your head is shaped like an iron -I see that Chernobyl fallout is probably still a thing. -Why do you look so sad? -The wallpaper is more fuckable you loopy looking Chesire cat -You look like a white version of Niko Belic from GTA 4 -Central Asian decor is like half a century behind the modern world. Lol kinda cool in a way -"Imagine being from an Islamic country and not being married, lol (no offense, I just did what you asked me to do)" -"I thought he was demonstrating his dick size until I saw the paper with r/roastme - -Seriously tho, get outside more and smile, you aren't ugly naturally, it's just how u carry yourself. Get ourself some pussy" -I feel bad for u. I’ll just pray your health gets better when I go to Church tomoro -The potassium production in your region is non-existent and compensated for by neighbouring regions. -is your cousin number one or number two prostitute in the whole of Kazakhstan? -Nice blouse -This picture looks like a bootleg episode of Blue’s Clues -"I thought my life was fucked. I just feel bad for you, bro. May you ascend to heaven!" -"i'm not gonna roast ya', if anything, i wanna give you a hug, you need it man. hope life gets better. have a nice day" -"Roasting someone with health problems isn't cool at all. This sub is brutal. - -I wish you all the best." -"You didn't have to specify you are virgin, it's obvious to anyone" -comment -Talks marriage during the first date -"You seem very nice. That said, I'm afraid I'm not interested in buying (or selling) any essential oils at the moment." -"How far apart were these photos taken?? You look 30, then 22, then 18, then mid 40s at the end..." -"More than likely has an ankle tattoo of a butterfly, a bird or some other stereotypical white girl shit." -You know when you eat really bland turkey and you need to smother it in gravy to make it appetizing? That's your face on makeup. -You look like an innocent Mormon girl that is absolutely addicted to anal sex. -You’re the fattest skinny girl I’ve ever seen. -"You look like a movie star. Amateur porn, but still a movie." -I can tell there isn’t any seasoning in your pantry. -You are “reading the back of the shampoo bottle while I take a dump because I forgot my phone” boring -if tramadol was a person -On behalf of your family and colleagues: The natural deodorant isn't working  -You look like the kind of girl who will tongue the frenulum and tickle the taint and still claim to have never gone down on anyone before. -You look like a Midwest 3 and an LA -2 -"Most feet guys would be happy, but with those orangutan fucking toes, I think they’re all hiding" -It looks like your make-up is periodically applied by an old lady who’s only other clients are 6 year old dance recital participants. -It looks like you use union plaster and stucco workers to apply your makeup. They do half decent work. -"Like Jäegermeister… looks OK, smells nice, you kind of want to try it, but you know if you do, you’ll regret it." -"I’m sure you’ve always wished for a Hallmark Christmas movie type of love story, but instead they’ve always been the domestic abuse hallmark type." -You look like you just starfish. AND give bjs with teeth -"You're probably one of those annoying girls that say ""awkward"" in the background when silence fills the room after something uncomfortable/weird happens." -You look like cinnamon is too spicy for you -Lana Del Reyvolting -your hairline looks like a ball of yarn. -If B.O. had a face -You look annoying. Like you tell the worst stories -"Damn bih, you got the figure of an iPhone." -The Jewish girl with a Christmas tree... She's widening her dating circle -You look like you downloaded TikTok to make friends. -She's definitely saving it until after marriage. Like way after marriage. -What was your name before you transitioned? -"Wot, no OF!?" -I thought mail-order Russian brides were just a 90s phenomenon -If you were a spice you’d be flour. -"This is the kind of white girl you see at Starbucks with her dog in the car playing Chris Brown real low so sharkisha in the line next to her doesn’t hear l, then parks to drink her coffee and toxic text her side nigga Jamal on why he didn’t text good night last night even tho she just swallowed her husband Braden’s kids to get that coffee type shit" -you spend more time looking at make up tutorials than you'd care to admit -It's wonder bread in human form -"If average were a sound, your name would be ""meh""." -You look like you headbutt people -"You look like the girl that blows all the lads, one by one, at the party for drugs" -If sad handjob was a person. -"Your a 10 in my book, 10 beers before I'd fuck you ;)" -You have similar proportions to the Goodyear blimp..... -It's not every day you see someone with the same size nose as chest size. -You’d turn up at a porn audition and be ecstatic you landed a fluffer girl job. -Your profile is labeled NSFW just because of your face -"Your face would be perfect for the Netflix series ""Is It Cake?""" -You look like you boil chicken without seasoning or broth. -Zoey Deschanel is too dumb to change lightbulbs -You look like a 12 year old who's experimented with make up for the first time. It went very wrong. -I wonder what her tramp stamp looks like... -A hag in drag. -Just go ahead and post your link and be done with it -“You’ll never find another girl like me…” -"You look like my wife’s sister, someone who gets cheated on and is oblivious to it." -Where is your crystal collection? We all know you got one. Lol. -"Quit the chewing tobacco, it's gives you a wide jaw... Just sayin'." -Onlyfans reject your application you come to Reddit. -You look what we in southern Kazakhstan like to call a happy goats vagine -"People show there game face, why are you showing us your poop face." -You’re only “pretty” in pictures 1 and 4 -Cute af -"I got a double pump, half whip, decaf, salted caramel pumpkin spice latte for Stephanie!" -Your standard greeting is probably “it’s not MLM or a pyramid scheme.” -You think ketchup is spicy don’t you? -You look like you give a toothy bj -You are the embodiment of the term ‘basic bitch’. You reek of pumpkin spice. -"You’re kind of cute, but so fucking boring at the same time. You look like you’d wait until marriage just to shake hands." -You look like you could benefit from streaking. -Sly stallone wants his face back -You look like Rose from Two and a Half Men but twice as crazy -"If I pry off the mask, is there another mask under it?" -"At first glance you think, “She’s hot!” But then you realise you just caught your own reflection in that mahoosive and weirdly flat bit where her nose and brow meet." -The space between your eyebrows shouldn't be a DMZ -Your phone case is more interesting than your face. -Constantly plucking to hide her unibrow -Whoa look at those legs. Isn't it hard to walk like that? And how come you have a square torso? you look like a child drew you actually. -Trust fund baby -Your gender reassignment surgery took well! Congratulations 🎊 -You look like you pretend to be sane more than Jeffery Dahmer did -"You look like the type who adds pumpkin spice to a breakup text—seasonal, basic, and universally regrettable." -You should get a nose ring! It makes all the bland girls unique! -"You look like every cartoon best friend side kick everyone ignores who says things like ""Joikies!!!"" ""Roger dodger"" and ""Not again""." -You’re waiting for the troubadour that will park outside yer window and sing you the madrigal he wrote with a quill dipped in his own blood singing superlatives of this damsel -You keep saying ‘what are you thinking?’ with nervous codependency on the first date who took you to Applebees. -Employs a full time shuttering carpenter for the makeup pours. -At least you got the fat girl big tits going for you. -"This is the type of girl that claims her last boyfriend made her swear off men and go gay, but we all know she was gay from the start." -You're definitely the chick they hook up with at the frat party as a challenge 💀 -I saw u in that brazzers blow bang vid. With all the sons friends.  -"Could you not wear that face, it's very...erm ugly" -"Very curious indeed. Bi-curious, tri-curious, multi-curious: you’d fuck a toaster if Tumblr had a toaster fucker clique." -By curious do you mean that you slept with 60 different men in the space of 6 months as you were curious to find out what herpes felt like? -"This is reddit, not instagram - -Get that makeup off your stupid ass face" -Glad to see the transition is going well :) -What zip code is your chest living in? Because it isn’t the same one you are in. -The church girl that hasn't saved herself for marriage. -Yes-No-No-Yes -I’d like to roast you alright 🍆💦 -"If u wash your face, kamala harris would look better than you." -The dripping from your vagina doesn’t mean daddy or his friends love you… -Looks so trashy that can make u leave the town -you are the very lumpy mashed potatoes of the meal. Sure you're part of it but you're the worst part. -Looking like Lunette from the Big Comfy Couch -if **Pinocchio** was a girl and grew up -didn’t lie- but his **’father’** taught him how to put makeup on -I'm curious who's cum shot permanently parted your hair like that. -I can tell you’re nervous because you chewed all the nail polish off your third digit left hand. You also look like you dig body hair.? -"When you walk into the room i can hear ""making my way downtown 🎶...""" -You look like you're getting ready to lose a fight to the Scarlet Witch. -Is the 4 bulb chandelier is an allegory to your life or it’s just choice? -Gotta love that vacant look in her eyes... can definitely tell the wheel is spinning but the hamster died a long time ago -Bland as white bread -CHOO CHOO ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO MEDIOCRE TOWN -Why your face look like a bean -"Kinda girl who would name their crotch goblins Skylar, Hunter & Ryder." -You look like you cry after sex then tell the victim you’re pregnant and keeping it. -"You look absolutely insane, it's not Christmas yet." -You put the only in onlyfans -You look like you make people do a customer survey after sex... -Someone needs a gym pass and a makeup tutorial. -She is curious to find a simp in the group to subscribe to her OnlyFans -Wow! That’s the first time I’ve been surprised to not see armpit hair! -Missionary position with the lights off is the only sex you know. -They have treatments for early on-set balding. -You wanna fill the g bong or should I? -You look like you watch a lot of Hallmark movies. -Your Christmas tree looks like shite! -"Roast me is full of bots, need to do something about it, maybe add a rule where user must post date and name?" -Girl if BPD had a profile picture -"I feel like somewhere there are two frat guys having a conversation that goes like this. - -Frat boy 1: Remember that one girl you dated for like a month sophomore year? -Frat boy 2: No." -"You are so incredibly transparent that you can see where your soul would be, if you weren't just another nameless background character in someone else's life." -You look like the cousin we all had who gave hand jobs under the bleachers during lunch to all the boys. So you could experience love for 10 minutes in your life. -Your name must be Carleigh -"Looking like a snack - -That didn’t get finished cause they passed out" -Sorry about your club foot. -There’s a bit of that Ramses gene in there with how close your eyes are to one another. I bet you see double before happy hour is over. -NFL teams looking to draft linebackers must be knocking down your door -"I’ve never seen such a perfect hour glass nose, before." -"No need for us, just stand in direct sunlight for about 30 seconds. That should do it" -What do you do for a living? I'm guessing you work in the Lancaster PA fashion industry? -"If Arwen looked like this, Aragorn would have thrown himself into mt doom." -What kind of boats do you buy to use as shoes? -"Goblin toes. - -I hate feet. But for all my long term partners, I've accepted them and touched them and let them touch me with them. - -If we got married, I would make you wear socks all the time" -So asylums give you a suite and a red band now? Sick -"Photo one speaks for itself, notice the strategic planning of nails painted." -You look like Chappell Roan before she became famous. -Out of batteries -Look like a cabbage patch doll that got its wish to be a real girl 🧒 -"That's a man, baby, yeah. *Attempts to pull off hair/wig*" -That clubfoot almost looks detachable. -Veiny feet 😟 -"Wow you look just like Katy Perry, except poor" -No -You look like unseasoned white chicken breast. You also look like every other white girl on this subreddit -Her pronouns are bland/boring -you looks like a Dwarf female -You need an emergency nose job -Nah -"If bland wore a dress. Is your last name ""Milquetoast?""" -you kinda look like the girl at the start of terrifier. -Gives either the worst head or best head ever no in between -You are beautiful to roast 😅 -I don't really need to not going to lie just look in the mirror and look at your 82 head oh wait that's probably all you can see -"You must be super strong. With all those kgs on your face, I would've been faceplanted by now." -The only thing that appears curious about this post is your sexuality. -That's definitely 4 different people... -She's a 2 @ 10 and a 10 @ 2 -You look like the nerd from high school that tried to rebrand herself as the free spirited hippie chick in college. -How’s your boxing career going? -You look like White Chicks. -If I was mormon you’d be 4th favorite wife -Fat and ugly. -"Dodgers fan, 10/10" -Fat Casey Anthony -This photo needs a warning label: Too much confidence can be hazardous to others -Virgin -"You're so fat, you get off to chicken wings on your night stand, and you use bbq sauce to masturbate to a cook book" -She's so pretty that typical reddit 2's have a chance to talk sht. Knowing they haven't showered and waiting for mom to say the pizza rolls are ready. -"You think vanilla latte is exotic. You only date 6ft 5 guys who play sports , and they don't like the who's *insert any basic white girl * - -You look like you knit and your tinder profile says gym is life, you got a cat to seem edgy with the occasional Instagram post of it because ""dogs are so mainstream. """ -Not a roast but you look like you’re on the verge of tears -"Hi Dean. Still dressing up as mummy, i see.." -"You just know her name is Star Child and she makes soap, but doesn’t use it." -You look like that gypsy no one wants or is never invited to pretty much anything. -You don’t need make up! Cz you need plastic surgery -Curious or suffering from body dysmorphia? -You look like you belong in a Disney film. I'm sure it's missing an ugly sister somewhere. -Your eyes are like a dengue causing mosquito -You look to have the personality of a granola cereal box. -Looks like the type of girl that does scat porn wasn't good enough for the regular porn lol -"Jesus Christ, woman. They say showgirls paint for the back row. You paint to be seen from space. - - -Ease up on the blush. With this makeup, you have the complexion of an 80-year-old alcoholic man. WC Fields is not a good look for anyone (especially himself, but doubly so for you)." -By the time we got the 4th picture you finally figured out how to make yourself decent looking. At least we know you will not be catfishing anyone anytime soon.  -You're what the French call 'le mid as fuck' -transsexual andy from toy story ah -You look like every third military wife. Neither Jody nor your husband truly love you. -"I'll take soaking for 300, Trebek" -"Hey, I found auntie! Why she look like Sylvia's sister of of the ""Hogwarts, but different"" shorts off of youtube?" -"My only criticism is Christmas is for December. -Other than that you're cute!" -What a stupid smile you have on all 4 pics. Just stick your tonque out. Only than you can expect a load in your face -You look like a psychopath that is practicing how to smile. -"Hit you from the back. (Sex) - Your face is enough too stop a time it's self lol." -she looks like she wreaks of patchouli oil in that 2nd picture....although she's still rather cute. -I need to take a shit -"You got a nose like a ski ramp and you have a boys face - -Your best talent is probably your handwriting" -Most likely you have a tendency to involve some Republican senator's sex scandal -That white dress in pic 2 is gonna be the closest thing to getting married so hope you enjoyed it while you did -Curious about what? Seeing how many times you get called mediocre? -You'll disappoint many men in your life and satisfy few -I just want to pick you up by your knee and your ankle and use your shovel-face to dig a hole to bury any good expectations you might have hoped came from your requested roast. -Looks like you are constantly queefing -Looking at you I can smell the strong mix of patchouli and B.O. -"Your face expressions are different moods after fart. -1. I farted and it didn’t smell -2. I am really proud of myself that this fart wasn’t a shart and I didn’t shit my white skirt - 3. Everybody things that you farted but in fact it was me -4. Yep, it was a shart" -How many dead bodies are you hiding in your basement? -Why’re y’all feeding into her ? The best thing to do was leave the comments at 0 gentleman. -Where's your animal friends that help you with your work? -Not even onlyfans material -You’re pretty. You look like a Disney princess -"Wears make up: ""you got your mom's looks"" -Doesn't wear make-up: ""you have his face""" -What have you applied on your eyes in the first picture? -"You’re the type of woman we don’t let know we’re going to finish, nor that we’re planning on covering your face, and while your blind for a few seconds, take our phone out, snap a quick pic for memories and/or blackmail." -"I would love to roast you, but in today's climate, it's in extremely poor taste to insult the transgendered." -You defo went to band camp -The Christmas tree in the background isn’t the only thing fake here—your filter game could probably smooth out Mount Everest. -You look like your OnlyFans is free. -No roast needed. You’re cooked just fine! -So have you got one or is this just testing the waters -Bi-curious George -"It's not that you are basic or difficult to look at, it's that fake smile. It's patronizing and infuriating. Artificial." -Great she’s here to sell finger nail stickers and bitch about why no one buys them -"Has atleast 10 dildos, 15 vibrators and a jar of peanut butter in her bed side table." -Good rack wasted by that face. Kinda like putting a bumper sticker on a Bentley -If I had to guess your name it would be Twinkletoes -Oh shit here comes the tin fish unboxing video on YouTube -Nah. You seem like the deep-frying type to me. -I see that you're too scared to shove your thumb or middle finger up your anus and have opted for the ring finger. You'll get there one day. -Most beautiful trans 💞😌 -You have something neurological going on inside looking at how you're standing in the 2nd pic. -potatoes -You would make a decent practice girl -"No, tarot cards are not real indicators of your future." -You have a look of Alanis Morisette -"Yeah, you’re the type where a guy says “Screw it, she can probably crank out a kid or 2 out of this one, might not be terrible but who cares, no one would blame me for cheating on her.”" -You’ve got the thousand dick stare. Spot it a mile away -Idk if that’s a hospital bracelet in the second pic so you’re spared from the roasting. -"Where to start, - -How about your hair that is being parted like what Moses did to the Red Sea. You got a like a Grand Canyon 2 lane split going on up there. It looks like the left side of your lip was drawn in pencil and there’s not enough make up in the world to cover those wrinkles on your cheek or them sag bags under your eyes. Who told you it was a good idea to put white dots around your eyes. Not only does it look like you got into a fight with a white marker and lost but you were trying way to hard to do something different and failed. You ask yourself why you can’t get a bf because you’re always wanting someone’s opinion to perfect something that is terribly flawed. Try not to find a new hair color every month and find yourself instead. Your a 6/10 and don’t let no one lie to you and say your any higher because there’s just trying to hit it and quit it and I don’t blame them." -Here is the attention you orderd 🖕 -"You are hired! I need you to plaster the walls in the kitchen and all downfloor ceilings. But try to spill less on your face as you did with your previous job. -b.t.w., do you clean bathrooms as well?" -"Yummm, with carrots, potatoes and onions…you bet!" -That’s the face of a Stage 5 Clinger right there. -"Your hair is limp and lifeless, I'm pretty sure you smell like patchouli oil too." -Basic Christian beach slut -Non-special snowflake. -Maybe you should stop biting on your upper lip when you take selfies. -You look like you talk shit of everyone you know -If only you had a personality. -Blossom's cousin Opossum. -You look like every property manager I've ever met. -You look like you would steal my soul if I stepped on your shoe -How people who eat & drink soy smile… -"Pic#2: correct me off I'm wrong, aren't the mani and petti colors supposed to match? Oh okay, Californian...never mind." -Damn girl not much to roast unless that is a club foot in the second picture 😂😉 -I'm 95% certain you sell your bathwater on Etsy. And offer free refills to all your customers. -Where can I find your onlyfans dislike button -Too beautiful to roast your the apple of my eyes Happy Thanksgiving 🦃❤️ -"Ai attempt at ""white Christian girl""" -cute smile ugly face -Looks almost like a younger version of Stephanie McMahon if there's any wrestling fans out there lol -"You were cute when you were whatever age the third picture is. Other three have chipped nail polish, not that I care but you said to be mean" -You look like your OnlyFans is free -"Cute af ❤️ show some teeth pls and the hair could be better with highlights or a tone brighter and finally loving those dimples ❤️ -edit: make up is not your thing." -This has to be the most forgettable face ever. -You look not fun in any way at all. -Hot -You look as if you have a fake British accent but with worse teeth -i think you look more pretty without makeup i like your freckles! -You could breathe in a house fire with all of those filters on your face -If liquid paper took human form it would look like you. -"She's cute, too bad she might be too much into astrology." -Insists you add her on Find My Friends on the first date -"r/roastme today, r/onlyfans tomorrow" -you look like you voted for Trump -"I would say, you are a very radiant looking person." -"Thin hair so lifeless it makes a wilted flower look perky, floral dress straight from last year’s clearance bin, and a face that only upgrades with a full makeup crew you are not basic, you are the blueprint for it." -"You are the type of girl that starts off saying you have some high paying career, and then you try to rope someone in saying you like to make extra money on the side with your onlyfans. I’m not falling for it, not today Satan. Happy Thanksgiving, hope you don’t do OF today." -You look like a Ukrainian hooker -You 20 but you look 50 🤣 -lol. You have very neat writing. -"Go on, tell us your favorite horses name" -"Filters, more of them. BMI filter?" -"Has never had a boyfriend but probably has 47 house plants, 5 cats, and a personality disorder" -You probably diss your friends to go on your cardio boxing class. The substitute teacher that all the students hate -"If pumpkin spice was a person - -Native American Indian? and Italian Damn near the same thing as me, I got green eyes too lol" -"Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." -"Which Thing were you for Halloween with your ""bestie"", 1 or 2?" -"eh, I'd tap it, but you'd have to leave shortly thereafter. I don't want to know you" -Can’t do it -"The kind of woman you’d bring home to mum, while actually really hoping her hotter sister puts out" -"Your hat says “LA”, but your face says “ Hell NO!”" -"As an eyebrow artist, your brow shape is really messing me up" -Dead eye stare -"With that nose, I wouldn't offer up a side profile pic either" -You look like you put silencers on your sweater puppies -If “me and my gay guy bestie have a marriage pact at 40” was a person. -Your vanity does that for you. -You got fucked up teeth I bet -"No I don't wanna hear about the different teas you make with your own herb garden, yes I'm sure your cats do love the smell" -"a hole is a hole, i accept you" -You look like your OF is free -Chunky body and a face that looks like that of a boy transforming into a transgender. The fairy dust on the eyes won't fool us mister! -Times must have been getting tough when you had to turn a lampshade into a top and curtains into a bottom -"I’d hit it… but I just know you’d catch feelings too quick then cry to your friends in a public space after I tell you “I’m just not feeling it.” - -This is also a self roast. I should talk to someone." -Pro tip- post a picture on Roast Me to crowd source the search for any detail that might separate you from literally every other white lady. -You look like Lord Farquaads lost daughter. -"You’re a 4, but with the right lighting and a good Bible quote on eharmony, you could pass as a 6." -Makeup makes you look like the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz -Your nose looks like squidwards house -you look like an english teacher -But are your fingers good? -The top in picture two looks like you knocked one of those 90s paper and wire ceiling light globes. -im in sports -10/10 would hold your hand on a 1st date. -Dream wife until one week after the honeymoon -if below mid was a picture -You look like the kind of person to be asked to get cheese from Walmart and come back with 23k worth of makeup and designer clothes -Mary Poppers -At least the Cowboy Junkies named a song after you; Plain Jane. -"Such a sad, tragic little urchin: taking four photos of herself because she has no friends to take photos of her." -Did you say roast or marry? Bc I’m skipping both -Is your name Jane? Because you are incredibly plain. -26 going on 60. -"Your face is the hero image on the ""Target Demographic"" powerpoint slide White Claw executives use in their marketing presentations." -not the same nose in final photo -"Pretty enough to get laid, but either too religious or too stuck-up to make it take forever. -Also bet in a lineup of you and your friends your the sub-alternate DUFF." -9th copy of Lindsay lohan -Very curious...hmm bi curious 🤔 -Go wash some dishes -"You look like Katy Perry before she was having a meltdown. Your ring finger is missing a nail, so I rest my case. Your 2nd picture looks like you can't decide to be a 304 or a modest woman. Ol' Bridgerton crossover with the Amish lookin' ass. Your last picture looks like an SOS. Are you sure you weren't kidnapped and forced to hold that sign? - -Your skin doesn't get enough sunlight. The slightest blemish or papercut = pounds of makeup just to cover it up. Don't ever do a combat sport because the compubox can tell how many hits landed just by looking on your face. - -Your dimples look like they hold coins. When Billie Eillish made Ocean Eyes, she wasn't talking to you, so stop smiling." -You prob have no nipples -"Was expecting some armpit hair on that 3rd photo , you give me that vibe" -You look like you’re well prepared for your new career at T mobile. -"moves lips at concerts, doesnt know the lyrics" -"3 on the street, 4 in an orgy." -I’m so lonely -If you work in an office.... Pam -That top in pic 2 makes you look like you have a uni-tit. -50 year old looking feet on a 20 year old -I know Mary Jane when I see one -"Cant, i just wanna marry you" -I feel like you need to connect those dots. -Ur feet so veiny even painting ur toes couldn't make them look good. hide them next time. -Dodgers fan….thats enough of a roast right there -If unsalted butter was a person… -I don’t see any cats. Yet. -“whats your zodiac sign” type of girl -You are almost attractive enough to not bother roasting….almost -Your teenage self just called. She said don’t start running trains until after football season. Those boys need a quick practice girl. -Maybe. Maybe I would you throw you a pitty fuck if you kept your mouth shit and promised to not maintain eye contact. -How can I? You are gorgeous lol -Why…you’re too boring -You look easy to draw -Username is clearly misleading as there's a lot of batshit crazy in them eyes -On third divorce I see. -Ohhh -"Nope. You’re adorable, have incredible eyes, and moxie. Do what you want to do for yourself, fuck everyone else because life’s to short, and get rid of any toxic people on your life that make you feel like you need to post here." -Moved out Brooklyn hipster from the 2000’s -Mafiosa delegate champagne bullshit. -"Sorry cant do it, you look fragile" -comment -Usually dayshift strippers hate being photographed. -Waistband permanently stretched from all the dollar bills being stuffed into it. -22 and already looks like she’s 45. Bet she already reeks of captain Morgan. -Her belly button is on its way to visit the other abused orifices. -Looks like a corpse found in Studio54 that someone hid in 1978. -How’s the heroin treatment going? Any side effects? -Those hips were made for granny panties. -Your pants come off so often the drawstring is worn out -"Roast?? - -At best there's only enough meat on those bones to make a weak stock." -"Eat something, cum and drugs are not proper diet." -"Loved you in ""Mask"". This pants make it look like your vagina is trying to escape." -"Looks like the ""after"" in one of those before and after drugs collages." -You look like you would suck someone off for some cigarette buds -I think a belt would be a better gift -Tell your Madonna Wannabe friend that this 'look' is overused and out of shape; like other parts of her body. -"Happy birthday, I'll raise a glass of codein to your health." -Fake news. Madonna is not 22 -Jenny? -22? In leap years? And what the feck is wrong with her naval? -Wouldn't be a very good roast with just bones -Have a sandwich without eating your fingers for dessert. -Happy birthday! Skeletor turns 22 today! -The real Crimson Chin. -Meth is no joke. -That’s a rough 22 years… you sure it wasn’t 22 guys at once? -Are we allowed to roast trans people now? -That belly button is wrong. It almost looks like a poorly sutured vagina. -You need a larger sign to cover the rest of you. -"The circus called, the clowns want their trousers and makeup back." -I'll never know what Forrest Gump saw in you -She's had a nightmare squeezing the e of Roast Me onto that sign. And a nightmare squeezing a face on top of that jaw. -Your skull looks bigger than your pelvic bone. You need a kick stand for your head. -No way in hell are you 22 unless you’re aging backwards. -Hiding your heroine needle marks behind that paper -You can eat more things beside dic* -"Your friend is the Crypt Keeper, from Tales from the Crypt? Holy shit can I get an autograph? " -Looks like she just got finished peeing in a urinal -Loved u in Crackwh*re confessions! Stunning and brave! -22? Has had more work done that a 44 year old. Sheesh slow down save some for the rest of the hags. -Eat a cheeseburger. -I didn’t know meth had a spokeswoman. -Remember that time we wrapped the biology room skeleton in clingfilm? -So happy you survived the holocaust -He has nice hair. -Great Value Scarlet Johansen -22 what? years in the industry? -This guy sold me fentanyl. -"She has potential. Not sure for what exactly, anybody have any ideas?" -Well by look in her eyes the methadone is working. But stop using a sharpie to highlight those crazy crackhead eyes. Anyone else notice the meth head figure on her? -I assume this is a thinly veiled only fans ad and ehhhhh no thanks -Trailer Swift -Her? -"22 year old with 30 years of drug addiction experience, how is that possible?" -Why doesn’t her head match her body? -What is there to roast? There ain't no meat on those bones. -Are you trans because you don't look Like a girl -That caboose already looks loose from over use... -I think she meant she wants to get split-roasted -Put down the pipe and eat a sammich. -"It's a suprise to see you stood up straight usually tranq addicts are stopped over in a zombie like state, hope you get your next fix soon." -She is wearing a diaper or he has a boner. -You are completely average. -I love you ShovelFace -Claire Danes on a weekend bender -Please lay off the crack… you look like a Walmart version of an aging Kate Moss. -Is this Amber Heard’s Sister??? -That piece of paper is the second flattest object in the house. -Kate Winslet if Kate Winslet smoked Meth. Daily. -"What's had more stuffed in it, the gapping vag or that worn out waistband. -I can almost smell rhe truck stop parking lot through this picture." -"""Her"". Yeah, ok." -You sure that isn't M42? -She’s probably dying to show you her spiritual rock collection -"Those pants are made for someone who has a body, ma am" -How gullible do you think we are? You can’t lie in the title of the post like that. No way that’s a female. -"Your 'friend F22' is a cat F5, staring at you in search of food." -God damn that's some fucking chin on you. You've got the skull structure of that tall guy from men in black -Looks like your pussy is slowly sucking up your pants -Ladies and gentlemen it’s Hoe-donna. Here to sing her hit song “Smoked meth for the very first time” -Can’t work out if that’s bad editing or just trousers that don’t fit… -She blows more than that fan behind her! -Isn't what she did to Forrest enough of a roasting? I mean that bitch has to be in hell -Meth. Not even once. -Bro is so ugly the fan can't even look at her -Are you a Kangaroo? -That jawline is the envy of engineers and architects the world over. -That’s a 50yr old stripper if I ever seen one -"Geez, 22yo? You look 42. Thats the effect of crack and getting railed every weekend at the ghetto" -She needs to eat a roast not participate in one -More like “My friend M44 wants to get roasted for his birthday” -Wow she took time from sticking her finger down her throat to pose for a picture. -You look like the less fuckable meth using hooker from Breaking Bad. -"you look like Black Widow if she didn't die in avengers and did crack instead, Crack Window" -Tell her the transition works bests if she remembers to take the pills every day. -If a cadaver could smile -All I see is clothes on a coat hanger -That’s a pretty ironing board. -U look like u work n get paid in fetanyl -"Seriously though, why don’t your pants fit?" -"Wait, is this Christian Bale's machinist cosplay ?" -Say hello to anorexic Annie. Those hips are bone on bone. -"You look like the type of girl to ask your husband are we in danger? - - -.....and also have a son called Walt junior" -"Body of a 22f, face of a 30yr trans stripper…" -The pack a day and meth make that a hard 22. -there's no challenge here -I dont remember skyler white being a meth head -22 going on 62 that is achieved with a daily diet of meth for breakfast coke for lunch and taco bell for supper. she also looks like she makes her money in a back ally LOL -When did he transition? -22 my ass…she’s looks like she’s 42. -22! Good god..thats a lot of being put away wet for 22 short years alive. -Never seen a saggy coochie on a young woman before congratulations happy birthday 😂 -Congrats and happy birthday! You look great for 42. -You look like you suffer from uncontrollable weight loss due to snorting coke every other day. -Why does she look 40? -"She look 35, but stripping is stressful. She’s probably only 21." -She obviously bought those pants before her opioid addiction started. -Dafuq is wrong with those pants she is wearing????????????????????????????? -"How about someone *feeds* her a roast for her birthday. Eat a sandwich or something, lady." -Nosferatoo...much crack -This guy definitely has preferred pronouns. -Looks like your ass is on the wrong side -"Is this ""friend"" here with us in this room now? -And, by birthday, you did mean 42 not 22, yes?" -Were you the daytime hooker on My Name is Earl? -If you turn the pic upside down her legs gives maleficent -"""She is number 3 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan!""." -Why does this birch stick have a roast me sign taped to it -The Sarah Jessica Parker's before pic to whatever turned her into what she is today -Eat something -A nice roast may help those pants fit... -"If she's 22, I'm Bill Gates." -"Babe, it looks like it’s time to change your diaper. Your drawers are lookin’ hella droopy and full for someone with no body mass" -Look old asf -Is her name methany? -I'd rather roast some food to feed your tiny a$$. Your pants are falling. Please eat -"I think you look fine - but what’s up with those -pants? They got to go." -anorexia isn’t something to show off -"You look like a double bagger, one bag for your head, one for mine in case yours falls off." -Prostitute -She looks like she mewing -You look like someone I would hire for *my* friends 22nd birthday. Too bad I dont have more money. -I know those weights on the floor aren’t hers -Your pants gave up -Kind of hot -I can't explain it but....your friend looks like a penis -Throat Goat -Benjamin Slutton -"Has anybody seen brooklyn 99? She is that pissed off bitch, but blonde." -Id rather cover her face in man fluids -I see nothing to roast -"Transition is going well, would fool me in a dark club" -You were terrible in Showgirls -I got an STD looking at this picture… -Budget Julia styles -"Oof, that handwriting though. Most strippers start their careers after high school. This one start at 2nd grade?" -Britney Spears on Ozempic -"Buys smallest pants, still loose." -I want to know how much the OP paid a complete stranger to hold a Roast me sign. -Your eyes would look so much better if they weren't under that mongoloid forehead. Does a carpet match the drapes? Cuz the drapes look moldy. You look more like 42 not 22. You need to stop smoking meth. -"""Their"" birthday" -Is that a feed me sign she is holding? -"Whatever you’re doing, it isn’t working." -Less dope more milk. -"Damn, breaks my heart to see what meth has done to Dakota Fanning." -"With a cock like that, I’ll wager you drive a Trans Am. Looking like you’re trying to see above and below me at the same time. I bet you’re nickname is SID" -22 my ass -Time to get some pants that fit or stop meth -Very trans looking. Actually you might actually be trans. Congrats on the transition 👍 -"I can’t even roast her, she’s gorgeous 😩" -Those baggy pants can’t hide it’s dick. -You look like you're 2 days meth free! -That’s not a female. That’s a man. -She looks like the rejected cum dump for the poison 2024 reunion tour -"First of all, wearing an outfit that makes you look like a crackhead prolly is not the best choice, but if you ain't smoking crack or shootin heroin then please, for the love of God, eat a sandwich." -"NGL, pretty hot but that outfit is awful" -Your make up is done really well and your hair is pretty. -That’s Kirsten who- dunst eat a burger -This is why you shouldn't vape in high school. -Looks nothing like a Lockheed Martin F-22A Raptor -Scarlett Jo-handjob -I actually think she's pretty hot.. -You look like this emo kid I used to beef with… didn’t know their life spiraled down that bad -Make like your waistband and just give up. -"When you purchase an escort, but have a budget" -Thrift store Scarlett Johansson -I like the heroin chic look. -When did Julia styles start using meth? -I haven’t seen this Tim Burton film yet. Does anyone know the title? -He looks like a nice guy -Is the 22 year old behind the dinosaur? -Very doable -Looking like a Costco version of Scarlett Johansson who went on a crack bender for the past 3 months looking ass -I can’t think of anything except that you are beautiful and sexy. ❤️ -Bro paid a prostitute for a picture cause that’s all he could afford plus he looks like he has a friend. -"By the size of her waist, this birthday may be her last" -Proof that waist to hip ratio dont signify sexual attractiveness/femininity -"Now at least I finally understand the term, “Jumping her bones” a little better" -Scarlett Nohansen -I’d fuck her -When you love heroin so much you decide to become the needle -I like her -How about emo Sarah Jessica Parker? -Kangaroo belly -Your hand writing looks like a dead worm -What is wrong with your waistline? Are you pants way to big for your waist or what is going on there? -You are beautiful stop -22 going on 40 -"You have a man face. Your eyes, beautiful, your hair, long and blonde. Amazing. Your body *chef’s kiss, but you take all that away you have the face of an aging Millennial dad who throws overhand pitch at his kid’s baseball game. Happy birthday btw." -Those two dumbbells by the door look like they weigh more and are used less than her -"Maybe there is something fuckin wrong with me(?), but I would smash the fuck outta this slim beauty. She’d probably never walk the same way again, but I would toss her all around the bedroom and relentlessly pound her into her 23rd birthday" -Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. -"Actually, the hottest woman with a chin that long that I've ever seen." -Never thought about fucking skeletor before but here I am -Tweaker Swift -Bargain Cheryl crow with an eating disorder. But great eyes -If Celine Dion were anorexic. -You look like Scarlett Johansson developed a crippling crack addiction -She looks like a extra small g sting will be baggy on her -I actually find you oddly attractive. After I roast you can I slide into your bhole? -You are Beautiful -didn’t know victoria’s secret sold their mannequins -Do pants just not come in your size 🤯 -Alternate reality Madonna who became a desperate housewife. -Kathy griffin stars in thinner -Either you gave birth or went along with a weight loss system. Either way the loose fitting pants are a compliment but you and your friend knew what was gonna happen and with a vacuum in the background I only assume said vacuum was the “surgical tool” -comment -"Daddy, why does dumpster Jesus smell funny??" -Nope only one roast per incarnation. -You again?! You really must hate yourself -Mr. Steal Your Culture? I suppose it's only fair Shiva stole your hairline. -When you can smell pictures. -Congratulations on your ascension to becoming one with everything that smells like mildew. Namaste your ass underneath some soapy water -Guru Shitbreath. -"You don’t look enlightened or wise, you look like you sleep on the sidewalk downtown. Need spare change?" -At least I don’t have to worry about you stealing my hygiene products. -Is regularly drinking your own urine from another culture? -The only roast you need is the scalding hot water of a shower -Sick Rubin -You will be reborn as an owl pellet -12 Fucking pictures...this is r/Roastme not a photo shoot for Homeless gays magazine -WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD TAKE THE HAT OFF?? -You look like you’ve been banned from public restrooms for stealing other people’s urine. -No one wants to keep roasting the same ppl. You had your 5 minutes -Looks like a walking bag of aids . -Dredlocking the rest of your Mr Burns hair to be used as a Hair turban to cover up the Homer Simpsons hair tuft is an insult to two cultures and two cartoon characters. -You're like a mix of a hipster barista and a history professor who’s just given up. -Dude so nasty I had to go wash my phone after three pictures. -I’d rather put small cuts on my ball sack and dip it in vinegar than be in the vicinity of you ………… -You can already tell he won't give you the spliff back -"How do you hide your money from a hippie?? - -Leave it under the soap." -Mr steal my weed -Rasputin -"If, “you give me the heeby jeebys” was an actual human" -"So the drugs didn't work to mask the pain of your traumatic life, so now you have to rely on pseudospiritual bullshit invented during the bronze age?" -"You a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude" -"The Wisdom of Radagast: ""It isn't a comb-over if you've never used a comb""" -There’s always one of these guys in every hostel in Asia. -Get a job -I'm pretty sure these photos gave me fleas and lice -You’re what my MAGA uncle says Vegans look like -What culture are you stealing? The talibans? -"Most worthless people get there from lack of work, but this asshole works incredibly hard to be so meaningless." -In about 5 years there’s probably going to be a really interesting Netflix documentary about the doomsday sex cult you’ve spent your whole life trying to form. -Why are there photos of ballsacks? -Osama Bin Loafin -This guy puts fear in the hearts of Febreze shareholders -These pictures have so many diverse and distinct levels of porta potty smells to them -Those dreads hanging on for dear life -"Jesus, didn’t the British brutalize those people enough?!?" -You look like an extra from the set of monty pythons life of Brian. Not even sure that beard is real.you probably have a bag with a couple of rocks and a packet of gravel -You also look like you culturally appropriate shitting in the street -You know you’ve fucked life when your head is brighter than your future. -If the dirt under an oil worker's fingernails were a person..... -"May the farce be with you, Blow-me Wan Frijole." -The first white man Indian’s don’t immediately welcome into their home. -This is the guy who should have been stuck on an island with a volley ball friend. -It's cool that the corporate board of the Fortune 500 company you founded always let's you take so much vacation time. -"I worked at a Marina years ago, this customer went to France and bought a sailboat. He hired two guys to sail this 30 ft sailboat back to the states. Once they got here the smell in the boat was so bad the guys wife threw up. We tried everything to get rid of the BO smell. I just wouldn’t die. You look like one of those guys." -Homelessness isn't a 'culture' -Bro. Social media ain't for you. Live your life. Stay away from here. -Hopefully your next entry visa gets cancelled -isn’t this the guy that posted the roast me and spent days defending himself in the comments? -Stealing some culture would be your best bet. -"Honest question, why do people come back and repost to get roasted….again? I genuinely don’t understand the fascination. Especially when there’s barely any time in between posts?" -"- Cheech and Chong’s sequel to Cast Away is coming to fruition. -- This is what happens when you walk into a barber shop and ask for a reverse mohawk with dreads. -- Buffalo Bill after discovering cannabis. “It puts the weed in the pipe or else it gets the hose again.” -- ZZ No-Top" -"“Om Shanti! Om Shanti! Om Shanti!” - -“If you are gonna wear a Dhoti you should learn the tuck.” - -“The saffron suits you, really brings out the color of your eyes.” - -“Watch out for those Shiva Lingas/Lingums.” - -“You should be able to find plenty of white women at those Ashrams who want to learn and practice Trantra (tantric sex) while chanting/muttering Mantras (spells/prayers) with you.” - -“Alternatively those white women at those Ashrams will appreciate learning Yoni Yoga with you and then getting you to do the Yoni Puja to them.” - -etc etc lmfao. - -Boy, are you in for a wild ride. lmao. lmfao. - -Those white women at those Ashrams are desperate for cock every single day, all that spicy food makes them shit fire every day and keeps them frisky all the time, and the Indian Gurus just ain’t big enough to satisfy their needs/desires, so you’ll just have to step up and fill in. lmfao. lmfao." -Looks like you’re ready to be on the front cover of Rage Against the Machine’s self titled album -Were you in the movie Fletch -Try stealing some soap. And there are bodies a week dead that look younger than you. And smell better. -Duck Dynasty meets Haight Ashbury. -you gotta job as a low budget Rasputin impersonator. -My 33rd birthday is in 10 days and this made me feel great. Thanks man. -"Imagine being 33 and looking like this. I mean, my looks have gone downhill in the last 10 years, but I'm about to be 43. This fella here looks like he's 53. Hasn't seen a razor since he was 33. Hasn't seen deodorant since he was 23. And hasn't seen his dad since he was 13." -Photos you can smell -And they say the American Taliban isn't real -"You look 12, 35, and 70 all at the same time" -Didn’t know homeless people had phones. -"I love your style and how natural you are. It's obvious that you're a complete fucking moron, but I love it nonetheless." -"Dude made his hair into a turban to hide his hairline, that's a new one lol." -Nobody asked for proof of life bro -"Again, Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen, was murdered over 100 years ago." -This is PEAK fru fru hipster. You could never top this with your Birkenstocks -He needs to have his own picture book called Where’s Weirdo -Bro did too many drugs and thinks he's a guru or some shit -That's a cute two-headed dog you have there -The fake Ram Dass. We shall call you Ham Ass -Mr Steal My Acid -A cult leader with no followers :'( -You look how wet dog smells. -Not the dread combover lmaooooo -His photos just prove that every country has bums and homeless people -"""Thar's gold in them there elephant pants!""" -Yoffy lifts a finger…and a mouse appears. -if roch theriault was indian instead of french canadian. -Damn bro you really have no talents or hobbies -if cultural appropriation had an avatar -"Let me guess, you took drugs and thought you reach nirvana just because you have never been introspective in your sober life. - -Many such cases" -"""no! I swear it's cool! I'm 1/34th indian!!""" -"It seems to me that all this you've been through, your life, your beliefs, all for one thing, to hide the shape of your head.." -No again Hare Krishna Hare Rama -"You didn't ""steal"" anyone's culture. Your dad bought it for you." -You look like the poster boy for an early 90’s D.A.R.E. Commercial. -Holi shit -The Dali Lame-uh -I guarantee your mother doesn't want to look at 12 pictures of you ...we sure as fuck don't -Hare Methamphetamine Crack Na Hare -Why do your hands look like you’ve been in a pool all day -"Bro. Please let that hair go. You’re bald, stop hanging on to the last bit of it." -Have a pretty large social media presence for a dead guy.... -"""an here you can see the body of Rasputin after having been stabbed, poisoned and thrown into the Moscova""" -u/Raspubic -Hairline Krishna -Dude straight up you look like you are 54 years old. Holy shit . -Ascended master looking ass 🤣 -You look like you live a rad existence -"Ah yes, the 'I gave up shampoo and dreams at the same time' look. You’re giving off ‘I meditate daily,’ but somehow still managed to manifest a receding hairline. Those dogs look like they’re hoping you’ll find a shower or at least some basic life direction. Namaste, but also, no thanks." -"Imagine the yellowish dick cheese, caked up under the ridge, of the head , of a penis , of a 70 year old hobo . Imagine him wiping it and you smelling it . - - -That’s what you smell like right now." -I've lived long enough to see someone actually use dreads as a combover ffs -"""Steal your culture"" addressing the dairy aisle there mate. Yogurt has more culture than you." -Joe Earth the hillbilly bohemian -The hair in my drain finding an identity of its own -"You have that face, lord Krishna would love to slap it with all of his 8 hands." -Whose culture you stealing homeless people? -For someone seemingly spiritual you sure do seek a lot of attention online -The one dude that even Indians can't stand sitting next to on a train -What the actual fuck is wrong with you -"You seem like you're the guy from high maintenance on HBO. Not a roast more compliment, but you should watch if you haven't already" -How do you hide money from a hippy? Put it under the soap! -"Woodstock 69 in the front, Woodstock 99 in the back." -Do the dreadlocks all fall out in sections as the hair recedes further or bit by bit ? -“hey can I borrow some of your culture??…….. and some money?” -Your pictures are asking me if they can bum a cigarette -"The walking epitome of cultural appropriation, also stop making the videos of walking around with the fancy bong and trying to get people to hit it." -What's rotating on your turntable? -Mr steal your culture -I’m sorry but I’m going to have to report you for animal cruelty. Those 2 dogs have clearly passed out from your stench. -I didn’t know that homeless people could afford international travel. -Ghandi would choose violence to not be near you -He has a dread over instead of a comb over. -"The top of the head, billionaire, the rest down, homeless" - Alan Ginsburg - in the larva stage. -I thought someone was trolling by posting a pic of the leader of that children of the ants cult lol… -Homeless activities -" Are you related to Mike Love from The Beach Boys? I can’t tell if you’re an ass hole or not. -best !" -Got the dangle berries out of your beard yet? -I lost it at the dreadlock combover -What in the Charles Manson is this shit -I hate you and your choices -"I can smell the patchouli, BO, weed, and feet through the internet. 🤢" -"Don't fall for it, folks. Rasputin survived several attempts on his life. A roasting isn't going to finish the job." -Why do you look photoshopped? -"Dude, I can’t roast you, you look like a Hindu chad god with that magnificent beard." -Straight up looking like you fill the bong up with ass juice instead of water. Gaht dayum -Bathes in the Ganges. -Hin-doo-doo. -I bet birds live in your beard -I have to wash my phone screen now. Thanks Mr steal your girls worn underwear -Why is your face upside down? -"I dont even smoke, and this dude makes me want to hide my weed." -Bald with dreads is wild -The sad old man dreads wrapped atop the head to hide the horrors is the most white thing ever -I didn't know you could make a hat from you're own hair!. That makes a comb over look like a booger -"Instead of winding those dreadlocks around your pate, why don’t you just let those two dogs shit on your head. Not only would it look better, it’d probably SMELL better." -Where's the sword an the hat wizard. I know I can smoke weed with you. So bust out. It's gotta 4:20 somewhere -Your series on Netflix gonna be #1 -"In high school (2004 ) i met a homeless traveling man just like you, did you ever lived in tecate mexico around that time?" -Your head is so bald that even Rogaine is promoting this post. -Wizard dont need an orb. They can ponder your shiny head. -You look like a baby crowning during birth from an extremely hairy pussy. -The dreadlock comb-over is new lol -How can I roast a man living a lifestyle I inspire to live. 🫡 -I've seen combovers but I've never seen a dread turban -"No wonder you can't find a girl, you blend in everywhere you go!" -"Oh look, old Greg got a passport and started traveling. Good for you old Greg, good for you." -Didn't you die off that bridge in Russia? Can't believe that crazy wizard guy is back! -Looks like my crazy ex gringo bf who wanted so bad to be an “inca” (i’m from Peru) “jungle shaman” “curandero” but hindu version. -What in the deliverance hillbilly elegy is this mf? -I lived in India for 3.5 years as a teenager and never met bigger stinky losers than these wannebe yoga gurus -Guys I think this is Matthew Silver https://youtu.be/LIVjYzUI9XI?si=I8ONd5BpT_HkRPTc -My dog just farted and I thought I gained the ability to smell pictures. -Charles Manson and Buffalo Bill's illegitimate trans son. -"Namaste, cracker." -Do you live in India without speaking the language? Just curious. Namasgay 🙏 -There's something special about a long haired bald man. Especially when is some trust fund kid that took way too much acid. Culture? Like the bacteria cultures you're growing on your body? You look like you'd sleep on the couch by choice. -Does your shower drain ever offer to make you schwarma? -The Hinduest Geezer -Bet you don't even smoke weed -"Do you really roll your hair up like rope on a boat and wear it like a wig? - -I’m not even roasting, I’m completely baffled" -I'm a bit jealous I don't live this way -Tsa must be fun -He fingers his own ass and then brushes his teeth with the same finger to freshen up. -"You really shouldn't let those puppies sit on you, they'll get mange." -Steal your culture? More like Mr steal your kids -Dude woke up one day and decided to become Chester the Molester. -Goes to India to smell normal… -"You only get one roast, ya dirty hippy. Go on. Git." -"Not only do you look like a drug addicted charles Manson, but you also try to be like him mr fake yogi." -“Mr steal your culture “ 💀🤣 love it -"Destined to die in a bear enclosure, dressed in a hippy version of a tuxedo, screaming ""but.. I love your soul Baloo!!""" -Sometimes I wish our Roastees would just post a single picture. This is one of those times -"All that inner peace is shining through. - -You look - -So - -Happy" -That mofo 53 stop lying sir -You make the homeless guys in Detroit look clean. -Did you make a hat out of your hair??? -Not really a roast but you look more like the main guy from High Maintenance than he even does -Thirft store rob zombie -What happen to your jatta in the front? -Shittmapants Gandhi -Never have I been more fearful for a couple of dogs. -✋️ -bro is most definitely homeless -Fucking legend. I wanna bring you to a party. -"Post history says after his 7th psychonautic adventure on LSD, he thought he became one with God and wanted to spread love. But he also does heroin and is homeless." -Dreadlock comb over? -You’re different! You did it!! Congratulations on being sooooo different from everyone else! You’re definitely *not* just a generic white dude… I wonder what you have in your music library! It’s probably so far above and beyond what anyone else has the capacity to appreciate and enjoy. -You have no friends -There’s no way people like you exist unironically -"Why did all of your hair migrate? You look like you can’t be within 500 feet of a church or elementary school. I’d guess you’re in a biker gang but you look like the one member that got diagnosed so they still let you ride. As a religious man, I shouldn’t make fun of you.. but you look like a reincarnation of the Buddha with more facial hair." -If you were a super hero you'd be The Repurposed Redneck and your power would be pretending you're not racist -These photos wouldn’t exist if your lifestyle was actually genuine. -Men will really steal your culture instead of just admitting they want to wear a skirt -Jai mahakaal -How are you this hairy and bald -Most of these are just mean. They aren't even funny. -"A shower is his greatest punishment, hygiene is his greatest enemy" -You look you need a bath and a hair cut. -"Be Gone Now - -the Yoganahbrah" -I’m not good at roasts so I apologize but those dogs are cute -Is there a special word for people who put themselves up to be roasted again? This is not the first time he’s asked to be roasted! -Why can I smell you through my phone? -I have never seen a dreadlocks combover -Dude you just made me lol. Thank you -ShitDhartha -I can smell you through my phone. -"Everyone is going to say you are stealing Hundi, Arabic, or at least some Middle Eastern/ Indian cultures. I'm going to narrow it down even further and say Egyptian. I say Egyptian, for it looks like you died several years ago. You were mummified, and now you walk amongst the living once again." -Wrapping the dreads to hide the bald had me laughing -"you look like a homeless man cosplaying as bob ross just withot the art, future, or good smell." -"Listen Jesus, I don’t like what I see…" -I thought comb overs were bad.. dude made a hair beanie! -"Should you ever try to get a job and they ask about your years in India, say that you volunteered for whatever really. Saying you were in a cult where everyone smoked 2 ounces of pod a day „to find themselfs“ usually doesn‘t work well" -You look absolutely ridiculous. -Moldilocks -"""DONT TELL ME MANNN!!! I WAS THERRE!""" -You look like Strapping Young Lad-era Devin Townsend if he dropped his metal side and embraced his New Age side exclusively -"If anyone asks me what a cult leader looks like, I'd show them this guy" -You look like male prostitute Gandalf. “You shall not smash!” -The dreaded dreads combover -I hope the dog is ok. Please take care of it -Namaste upwind of this guy 🤢 -Wook at yourself. -"Aw how sweet, pictures of you and your lover ✋ Palmala Handerson." -Just looking at your pictures made me double check if my wallet is still there. -"When Charles Manson saw your picture he said, ""at least I'm not that""." -You can smell those pictures -Imagine meeting a woman with your dread nest hairdo and then later revealing your cueball. -"You look like you smell like crap. Literally. -33? Are you sure not 53? -Picture 4 - That’s one way to hide a bald spot. At least you can say you don’t have a combover, I guess. -Now go back to the airport and beg for money for Hare Krishna." -I can smell you from here -Do you have to defend your head from sherpas leading businessmen to the top -"You don’t get high from Mary Jane, Mary Jane gets high from you." -I got absolutely nothing. You look fun as hell to hang out with. Also super down to earth for a spiritual person. Rock on dude -Eat pray meth head ah -Bro is a Picasso -"Gotta hand it to him, bros been around.. he be touching grass.. and im it wished he hadnt" -Crack Sparrow is here for the sequel. -Now I know what a hairy thumb looks like. -Using your own hair as a wrap around coil toupee is pretty genius. -"I know you didn't steal my culture, which isn't ""look like a homeless asshole you would cross the street with your children to avoid."" - -But hey, you do you. Hopefully, with fewer drugs." -No lie tho he look like the best person to be at a rave party -Yeah this guy works -"Kids this is why we don’t eat mushrooms, even on pizza, it always starts with just one.., but do you want to end LIKE THIS? - -(wild exaggerated gestures in OP’s direction)" -"You really looked at modern society and thought ""fuck it"". - -You know what I respect that. Strange and odd, maybe, but a mind of your own you do have at least." -I’ve never actually roasted anyone but I had to comment to say you’re absolutely appalling. -"Damn dude, save some pussy for the rest of us" -Always got one 🤚 up like swearing oath in court -You censored every face except the one I wish I could unsee. -When you take your job at the CIA way too seriously. -"I thought Charles Manson died, guess he was backpacking in Thailand and doing whip it's this whole time." -Mfs will steal anything except a shower coupon at Flying J -"I’m sure the lice, pubic crabs, and scabies are living their best life" -Aren’t they looking for you on I 75 -You know them locks smell wild lol -The only thing you've ever stolen is a woman's sense of safety -Temu Yakov Smirnoff -Try stealing a breath mint next time. -What made you this way? -33 white male going on 60 Afghan rebel -Need nose plugs to look at these pictures -I can smell the patchouli and hear widespread panic through my phone. -56 never looked better -Mr steal your culture ran into Mr steal yo hair -I hope your dog isn't vegan. -Turd Burgleson -Who needs a hat when you got dreads that can be weaved together this ain’t really a roast -"Dreads from what remains of your hairline is a bold move. No roast, respect." -I’ve seen people comb their hair to cover up bald patches but the hair turban is a first. -That blurred photo looked exactly like the handiwork of a man who registers his address. -"A Hare Krishna fucked up lumberjack. - -fr there are so many things to say about these pics I don't know where to start" -Headline: Beardmeatsfood falls on hard times after completing every eating challenge on earth -"Is he a great Wizard, or is he more like you?" -Why would you enter yourself in such an event as this? You’re from the shire -"Ah Maurice you're so nonpareil, but I liked the first batch of pictures better" -You look bat shit crazy lady -"“ I want Jesus in my life” -Mom: “we have Jesus at home” - -Jesus at home: You." -Back by unpopular demand. Bigger balder and dirtier than ever! -I can't bring myself to roast you. Your dreads bro. Absolutely beautiful! What a long journey!!! -you're good enough. smart enough. and gosh darn it people like you. -I can't roast this... bro ur already so toasted that you're like ashes in a firepit -"Nice beard, Guru." -My wife told me to close the app because this dude was stinking up the room. -"I figured out a roast! - -You have the most hair I've ever seen on a bald man!" -What in the Holy Manson Krishna are you?! -Tying the hair up to wear like a hat is crazy -Johnny Sins method acting is insane! -"I’m pretty sure this is the probable demigod I refer to as the wanderer. I met him while climbing a mountain. He was blaring music, smoking a foot long blunt, and walking directly up the steep slope as if he was floating. Dogs and all." -"Bro, I ain't even lie at first I thought you were a Siberic Shaman" -This is perfection. No insulting needed. -Honestly seems like a chill dude. -"Ah it’s he here for the second coming… of David Koresh 😅🤣 - -Honestly tho man, I think you’re probably living the way 99% of Americans wish they could, free." -How does homie have a face of a 20-year-old and the hairline of a 50-year-old? -Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your beard -I feel like I haven’t accomplished much in my 32 years on this earth. OP is a year older than me. I’m doing just fine. -"Lmao he said roast, not fucking incinerate 😂😂😂 cremate 😭😭😭" -"Well, I have heard of a combover. - -I've never heard someone actually using their beard in order to do so. And to make it into a turban." -How can one roast..one that’s already roasted.. stay true to it my friend god bless -"That guy that smells like tandoori chicken, sweat and garlic from a mile, always posts about his trips in subcultures and being friendly with them, and one day gets mugged and found dead in some backyard alley of some third world country, makes some quick news and then everyone forgets him" -How’s the trust fund? -You were in a country which is not for beginners. -I like dis guy -You’re just using us to try to lose your ego! Which is an ego based desire so u will just increase your ego! Ha! There! Five more lives for you! -love a day in haridwar. -Maneeee wtf are you doing in India??? -Final passport bro boss. -"Those dreads / bald ass combo is something else.... you have the whole spectrum of hair hating it's host. - -The ones that have left you, and the ones to dead and matted to get away." -I know we are supposed to roast you but I think you’d be awesome to hangout with -"when Cthulu is wished to be human by the dragon balls, and is sent to live in a third world country" -"Bro is a Rastafarian, an orthodox monk, and a buddhist all at the same time..." -Howz about a burger 🍔 🐮 🙏👳‍♂️ -"Picture number 2 you don't wear a saree as a man! You wear a Dhoti! There's a difference! - -And I thought you were educated!" -I see myself in you and i don’t like it. -Hindu equivalent of weeaboo -"You’ve heard of comb-over. - -Get ready for dreads-over." -If the song 🎵 Here I go again 🎵 has a picture. -"""I'm a homeless stranded tourist in India"" 🫷😑 - -""This is just what Indian culture is about"" 👈😏" -I am leaving this sub because of you. -The fact that you used your dreads to make a turban. -I like the shit-swirl dreadlock combover -Did your guru tell you to seek us out to extinguish your ego once and for all? -How lost can you be ? This person : Yes ! -I’ve got to say hiding baldness by wrapping your lock around your head is brilliant. I wonder how many girls woke up the day after and were crushed when the ketamine wore off -Im sorry but the comments were just repetitive and racist nothing like roast element in them -"Ram Ram again bhai ji, respect for you brotha 🫵" -"you look wise and homeless, may the gods bless us both this day" -Hara Mahadeva! I take it you're pretty serious in your religious convictions and don't use it as an excuse to smoke weed or so. -"The teeth in that one pic was a jumpscare, did NOT expect that" -"Namaste is short for “nah man stay away” - -Also wrapping your dreads up to hide your baldness is a hilarious strategy" -The Aryan back to his homeland. -Charlatan baba -"You smoked weed once and now think of yourself as spiritually enlightened when really you just got psychosis. You only do this all to impress people but don't realize you're making a massive ass of yourself. - -You never slept with a woman and you never will. Take a bath." -I like how he wraps his dreadlock around his pointy bald head like a poop. It’s like a poop shaped comb over. -"John Travolta in ‘From Paris with love’ in the front, John Travolta in ‘Battlefield Earth’ in the back." -Go on a 5 mile run in the morning. Eat taco bell. Work outside all day and when you wipe only use one sheet. at the end of the night put your finger on your asshole. Smell it. That's what he smells like! -"Dude read a copy of Be Here Now and now he thinks he’s a holy man, just another hippie wearing a costume and going through yet another phase, only this time he’s old and it’s cringe, probably used to be a punk rocker, just can’t be himself." -No roasting from me I'm afraid. I'd pay to just sit down and have a chat with you about what the fuck happened. -"All of that and I bet you still can't even speak a sentence in the local language. - -*This is just a joke/roast. I hope it's not true.*" -Rasputin hasn't aged a day... True sign of dark wizardry. -I haven’t seen a cave woman in forever! -"Religious Version: We don't need to roast you because you'll already be roasting for eternity in hell for repping the wrong spiritual set, cuz." -"This ""character"" that you are playing isn't all about forsaking the world and not caring what others say? Why do you seem so desperate for validation on the internet, then?" -Looks like Mr. Steal Your Parents Retirement -You may remember me as the hitchhiker you sped past to not get murdered. -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -People tend to automatically speak loud and slowly when they meet you don’t they? -He pets bunnies too hard. -I think your lips got installed upside down. -It looks like someone painted a face on a big toe. -Hide your crayons when he comes over -Me on the Reddit. Me hold a sign. Me a good boy. -"I'll sit this one out, cuz I don't like punching ""down""." -Your upper lip has caps lock on. -You look like a 90’s stereotypical bully who picks on kids because of his closeted homosexuality. -You’re built and dressed like an uglier Michael Myers -I bet nothing below your top lip gets wet in the shower -He lookin all smug because he has an extra chromosome -Yarp. -I respect this business for hiring mentally handicapped special needs employees. -"Sorry man, we can’t roast the mentally challenged anymore. It’s 2024 not 1935 " -Looks like he’d be a main character on Idiocracy. -Your face has a lisp. -Dude looks like he microwaves socks -This dude looks like the offspring of a chicken and big mouth bass. -How in the hell are you sad and happy at the same time? -Your dad's pull out game is the only thing that's weak as hell; this guy looks like he'd freak out if different foods on his plate touched each other. -"A real life Lennie from Of Mice and Men. That’s a book, by the way, have your probation officer explain it to you." -Is that a bad underbite? Or did he lose all his teeth smoking meth? Or did he pull em to make it easier to suck dick? -Winner of the 2024 r/RoastMe ‘Person most likely to have a bag of nipples in the fridge’. -"You look like you were drawn by Mike Judge, with that top lip overhanging your bottom one like Grandpa Simpson" -"""Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade."" Mmmmm hmmmmmm." -You look like you smell like piss -I feel like he mistook a tube of superglue for toothpaste and is just too shy to admit it. -With that mouth he could suck the marrow from the bone -Our jokes are weak as hell? Has he looked at his hairline or chin? -"Some Walgreens employee saw you buy a comb and said nothing. They knew it was wrong, but they let it happen" -"Tell me you have punched holes in walls, without telling me" -"I mean, it's a waste of time roasting this fuckstain... It's not like he'd understand what we were saying. His birth certificate is a letter of apology from the Trojan corp." -Dude looks like he’s a few fries short of a happy meal… -I wonder if his chromosome count and IQ will high five on their way by each other. -This guy peaked in 7th grade -I respect your employer. Allowing a safe workplace for the mentally disabled is very admirable. -Only thing weak as Hell is your lower jaw. -" Is this an AI generated image of what cro-magnon man would look like in 1987 if a blind, special needs child cut his hair?" -I think I saw you in men in black -Tom Hardly -Why would your bottom and top lip switch places like that? -Forever destined to have a job with his name on his shirt. -Wheelchair Lex Luger looking ass... -His lip is somehow more concerning than the interest rate on his Dodge Charger.  -This creature's biggest threat is a plastic straw floating in the ocean. -Did he (over)bite off more than he can chew? -Beetledouche beetledouche beetledouche -Extra chromy homie. -Sloth from the goonies has aged well -Actually looks like a sperm -You look like the judge doom without teeth on who framed Roger rabbit. -O’Doyle Rules!!! -Patrick Star as a real boy -"This dude taught the Hawk Tuah girl how to hawk tuah! Trouble is, he taught her when she was 9." -"Jason Voorhees, put your mask back on!" -"You're fucking with us, right?" -We all send thoughts and prayers to your missing lower lip. Hope it’s found safe soon. -Lower lip on backorder? Parts shortages these days are wild. -"Pro Tip: Next time you get a drink of water, tape the toilet lid up so it won't keep hitting you in the back of your head." -Homie is always making a face like he just farted and is waiting for you to smell it. -Homie looks like a Barbarian walking into a town hoping to get his dick touched by someone else. -"I'd punch you in the face, but I don't wanna get my hand ugly." -I know you hiding some teeth that could eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence. Cmon man. Smile for the camera 😁 -The jokes are as weak as your lower lip . Or is there buck teeth pushing out the upper lip ? -You look like Cory Taylor had a lobotomy and also can’t be within 500 feet of a school. -Answer to the question: what would the son look like if Rob Gronkowski had sex with a rock -"He really said, ""Good luck."" - -Homie hasn't had any good luck in years." -You have the look that you were beaten with a coat hanger as a child. Then your mom switched to a belt after you were born. -Goonies 2: Son of Sloth -How can he say our jokes are weak when his lower lip looks like it didn’t have the strength to finish developing? -Jawline has left the chat -"Bruh invented the term “don’t give me no lip” - -Dude’s lips are cosplaying as hotdog buns. - -Imagine the overbite? I bet when he sneezes, he bites a chunk off of his chest." -Our jokes are as weak as his chin -Duck billed fuckinpuss -The only reason he said this sub was weak is because he is unable to read the actual comments -You look like you eat baby corn with a fork -The only weak is your homie bottom lip! -Never seen a person look like a featherless parrot -We have Mads Mikkelsen at home. -Buddy built like a rubber ducky -Jeffery Dahmer -Are you NAVY? -"Quack, quack" -Why tf do you only have one lip? You look like Sloth from The Goonie's *slightly* less deformed brother. -You look like a thumb with lips inside of a fuckin jumpsuit. -Weaker than his bottom lip? -I was just wondering what happened to that Canadian dude who gave the internet weather updates. -Do you eat biscuits and mustard and sharpen lawn mower blades? -If ass kisser was a person -"Discount bin Andy Dufresne, his parents are definitely related." -"Fedwhore ""The Last Downy"" Emelianenko" -He reminds me of the goombas in the original super Mario bros movie -"I've heard of resting bitch face, but this guy's got resting shit face." -"3 pictures of you shitting yourself. Guessing the ""homie"" stretched out your sphincter?" -"Be a good boy, and I'll tell you about the rabbits again." -Sting’s special son they don’t talk about. -"Are you sure he didn't scream ""Heeeyyyyy you guuuuyyys!""" -We found him the toon who framed Roger rabbit -bro looks like he has a craving for sugar water -Trailer park Henry Rollins -why you have lips like you on the simpsons -Looks like a rejected make a wish kid -“Yarp” lookin motherfucker. -Futurama mouth -Dude looks like the live action Perry platypus from Phineas and Ferb. -You’re not allowed to live less than a 1000ft from a school. -"If they ever remake Of Mice and Men or The Goonies, this guy is going to get some acting work." -"Why the long face, fella?" -Did he find a bee nest by accident? Or does he just have those dick lips? -If Donald Duck was a human. -Simpson’s character working at Duff -Dude look like a push pop. -Your upper lip is in a race with your nose. -Hey you guys -Lucky you op. I’ve never met a thumb thumb in person before -Hairline farther than the possibility of getting Chaseoh on a treadmill. -"LOVE UR UGLY FACE, LIKE NATURAL MUCH?" -"""See, I punch my chin like this... It keeps my lip plump and kissable.""" -"""Bro's got beforehead, forehead and afterhead."" - --Chat Music" -Early seasons Simpsons character -Cosplaying as a used Q-tip I see. -"Oh he definitely spits everywhere when he talks. -You’re standing in the splash zone for someone with a mouth like that." -Bro looks like his top lip tastes food minutes before his bottom one. -We need to find and report this care worker that is setting up his clients for roasts -trying too hard to hang on to the patch of bleached grass on his head bru 🙏 -I’m surprised no one has said Mr. meaty yet -His mother is his sister. -Why is your bottom lip running away from your face? -you look like a limp carrot that's been in the back of the refrigerator for 6 weeks -Whats with the Simpson lip on that guy? -Those dick suckin' lips tho -I bet that forehead got satellite connectivity. -Is there a dildo up your ass or do you naturally look like that? -He’s not gay but has definitely held a dick in his mouth until it went off -The Jokes aren’t as weak as his lame ass mustache. -Quack quack -Young Hide The Pain Harold ass -Baaaby Ruuuth??? -Tell your boy I said he looks like a nice guy! -This is the only guy who needs to buy 3XL scarfs. I can’t decide if you look more like Sid The Sloth or one of the dumb Nazi guards from Duke Nukem. From the shoulders up you look like an uncircumcised penis. -That’s an upper lip even Alex Honnold couldn’t climb -Howard the Duck fucked Dewey Duck and out came this simpering twat -This man takes his dentures out for roast me pics and sucking boners. -You look like Bruce Willis’ nemesis in his care center. -Better tuck in that lip you'll get it caught on a trip wire.. oh wait -What is that face? Did someone fart in your mouth? -Still can’t exactly tell which on is your chin… or where your top lip ends and your bottom one begins -Baby heads on adult bodies are so fucking disturbing. -Factory worker & insurrectionist. Nice. -Jeffrey Dahmers left overs -Of course he thinks they’re weak. Having to sound out more than one sentence takes too much time to reverberate through his chins. -"Bro I actually deployed with this guy in 2018 💀 - -Todd FOD, the FOD God says hello" -"""You're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a stranger offers you a ride, I say take it!"" -Grandpa Simpson" -It's hard to roast creatures that secreat there own protective layer of slime I guess he chooses to look that way by choice to keep the children out of his yard -"Homie doesn't look 3-d, is the ""failed cardboard cutout"" intentional?" -How stoned is this guy? -...it's like someone taught Lurch to salute the Fatherland. -"The last time I saw a head like yours, I shook it and tucked it back in my pants" -your head reminds me of a half shaven ball sack. -"Definitely tries to hang with the big dogs by bringing his own Oregano, but bring ACTUAL Oregano. Malibu's most wanted IRL without the happy ending" -Looks like someone took a dusty cum rag from Iain Dowie and 35 years later you are looking at it’s insipid offspring -You look like Frankenstein fucked a duck billed platypus. -"Change your face.... - - - -https://youtu.be/_tOakzcUx_A?feature=shared" -What in the sweet home Alabama are you? You look like your daddy took his sister back behind the dumpster on prom night and forgot to pull out. -You look awfully excited about tendin to those rabbits. -" Donald duck fucked.... - -This thing here survived... - -Oof!!!" -Looks like a character from the hills have eyes -You look like you have to think about breathing or you pass out. -What are you crying about? Did your cousin turn down your advances? -You the type to protect a fish from the sea by putting it up a tree -You look like you were simultaneously the molester and the molested -"If u stopped shaving, u’d have more hair! ……..(wait for it)…..on ur ballsack!" -you travel much? might wanan visit turkey real quick -This dudes mouth is always extra moist. When he talks spittle flies everywhere like he’s marking his territory. -I am so sorry your mom drank heavily during her pregnancy with you. -You work your local truck stop restroom glory hole -Mike Myers but if the mask was his actual face. -You look like Howard the Duck. -"Nice comb over. You going for that wispy, not hanging on to reality look?" -If daffy duck and anyone with autism had a baby. -Your lips are shut and I can still tell your grill is busted -look like a fucking duck -You look like the short bus refuses to stop at your place -When a clown forgets to wear make up.... -"You have a very very low IQ, I see." -Best rack I have seen on one of these in ages. -Jason Vorhees all grown up -Jokes about as weak as that chin. -"What's your favorite drink? - -SUGAR WATER" -You’re gunna live with me now….because you ugly… mahhhhhhh -Real life Homer Simpson. -"Bro has a punchable face, but looks like he's already been repeatedly punched lol" -That face looks weak as hell -The real life Beaker -"Don't ask him about his body count. He'll give you an honest answer in the double digits, but it won't be the type of body count you're expecting." -Damn upper lip needed a building permit. -Looks like you’ve been chained in a basement by your mother and two brothers. -You look like the wish version of Jason Russo -You look like a drug addled version of Santa's little helper. -I bet you like french fried pertaters mmmmhhmmm -His mom taught him he needed to shit himself to have a great smile. His mom was wrong. -Tell your custodian duck lipped friend his pathetic mug reminds me of a picture I saw once of an engorged bleeding humongous hemorrhoid -"Mads Mikkelsen's cousin, Fags Dikkelsen." -T-T-Timmy -PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ! -As weak as that chin trying to hold up those fucked up duck lips. -Extra chromosome Corey Taylor -"Drinks Keystone Ice, hits on women he has no chance with and sees no problem with being uncircumcised. Definitely from Michigan." -You look like you suck on your bottom lip any time you need a snack -You're the guy Rob Gronkowski is trying to channel every time he films a commercial. -Looking like Seaman Semen -Not as weak as his chin though. That’s some proper incest going on there! -Good luck in plastic surgery -Brother looks like Launchpad McQuack. -You look like a duck who finally landed a steady job after years of smoking crack and sucking dick. -That overbite though lol. Even your upper lip naturally folds over the lower lip. -I'll bet he was giving you head as you posted this. -Upside down pouty lip -I know which town you grew up in: Habsburg. -Your hair is leaving you like your bottom lip -Your family tree is a tumble weed. -I can't tell if that's a smug look on your face or if you have REALLY bad gas. -Looks like young Homer Simpson. Doh! -"For a minute, I thought I was looking at newborn pictures edited onto a man's body." -Why does his top lip look like a birds beak? -Who’s going to read these comments to him? -The son of Dolph Lundgren...I'm sure of it🤣 -"I know your pronoun is ""It"". - -It's like Sloth, Michael Armstrong, and Buffalo Bill fucked a thumb." -The Forrest Gump is strong with this one -Dudes upper lip so big he looks like he’s turning into Donald Duck -"Get Dick Tracy on the horn, Lips Manless is on the loose!" -You look like a foot with a single toe growing out of it. -Where u buy that head who sewed it on -"Is he sticking his upper lip way out and sucking in his jawline, or does he always look like his parents named him Doofy? He looks like he carries a gold plastic police badge in his velcro wallet." -"I can hear your lisp through the picture. - -I’d bet my life you say “ I have no problem with gay people as long as they don’t hit on me “ …" -"Ever see the movie "" Basket Case""? - - -This guy was the guy in the basket." -You look like what crawls out of the drain after the freshman have been jerking off in the shower all semester -"Lots of spittle flecks when you get excited, huh?" -"Putin called, he wants his lips back" -This is your brain. This is your brain after sucking exhaust fumes from your short bus -You look like your parents were siblings and while they made you your grandpa watched from the closet -Pecker with ears -Have you guys seen his baseball? -"Well no shit, a male chicken head!" -If it was hot outside I'd sit under his upper lip for shade -Tf going on with that top lip? First thing I noticed -I’d tell him thank you for your service on memorial day -You look like you have a favorite flavor of windex. Are you siblings with your parents by chance? -"He's rebuilding a transmission in his living room, while his old lady is busting some hot rails in the garage with his pals on a nice summer night in Bakersfield." -Waiting for your denture reline? -His biggest accomplishment is that he dresses himself. -Trying to hide that double chin by tilting the head upwards isn’t fooling anyone -comment -Roasted so hard the account got deleted. -We didn’t need 16 pictures to know you’re seeking attention -Be gentle. Here's 16 photos of me posing for you. -We don’t need 16 photos to prove you’re insecure. -"No attention at r/rateme -Ended up posting at r/roastme - -This is how thirsty you are." -16 pictures? It’s a roast not a fucking photoshoot. -The fact that you posted 16 pics of yourself on a roast says everything about why you're single. -This is why gen z isn’t having sex -Bottom .5% of Only Fans -they dont text back on purpose dear.. sorry. -She’s got a wolf pussy 💯 -You are like a living pair of ass-less chaps. -The room must groan when you're about to read your poetry at an open mic -Looks like you trying to hide a monkey in your arm pit -"I wish you'd post a few more pics, can't tell how insecure and desperate for attention you are just from the 20 you posted" -You look like you’d pick up gum off the sidewalk and eat it if someone told you it would make you artsy and different. -"How can you tell a girl doesn't shave her armpits? - -Don't worry, she'll show you in every. single. fucking. picture🤢" -You look like you smell like gym socks and cow hooves. -r/photoshoprequest can help you have an ass. -I can smell the onions and patchouli through the screen -Notice that the only heavily worn part of her floor is the area in front of the mirror  -She got destroyed so badly the profile was deleted lol. -I think you roasted yourself posting so many stupid pics -Your armpit hair could have dreads. I can literally smell you through my phone. I bet your vag looks like a baby wooly mammoth but smells like a shrimp boat. -"*perfectly waxed eyebrows, caked in makeup, wears scandalous clothing* “I keep my armpits hairy to fight for women’s body standards”" -Pic #14 your belly button looks like a cats butthole… just a simple observation -Are you a groupie for the Greenpeace and/or PETA board of directors? -Your head is shaped like an Otterbox for an ottoman. You’re flat enough to use a church sock as a maxi dress. -Looks like you got buckwheat in a headlock. -Looking at you turned my brother gay. -"You must be old school, nowadays people with body dismorphy transition, not starve." -Was that armpit hair transplant from your beard? -"I bet you’re a barista at a quirky cafe that serves their coffee in those mason jars and has shitty art work for sale on the wall, and you think it makes you super unique and not like other girls." -26 and female. A lie on all accounts. -"Nah, i'mma sit this one out and enjoy a beer by the bushes." -After scrolling it appears you have the personality of a bland parking lot handjob. -You look like someone who wants ruff sex but cries when someone raises their voice at you. -She’s the cock fluffer for her friends dates lol -Might be difficult to roast you when you're offended by literally every fucking thing ever. -You seem like the type who shampoos their armpit hair and wonders why nobody else does. -I've never seen a tattooed stick insect. -"Thank god you grew out the microbangs. - -When are you going to grow out the microtits?" -"If you painted your nose red, You could make a decent clown cosplay." -"Wooden, boys legs,You a female pinoccio" -"You have no fashion sense! A sports button-up, with green running shorts, and then boots? Wtf did you get dressed in the dark while stoned??" -I didn't know they made training corsets. -Spend some more time eating more of those Oreos and less in front of the mirror. Gain a pound. You’d slip through a crack in the sidewalk. -Enough photos for the Tim Burton stop motion we didn’t ask for. -Don’t shave your pits to be edgy and confident but seeking Reddit approval due to low self esteem. I bet you are a doozy -Eye..................................brows -That fairy on your arm looks absolutely disgusted with your armpit hair! -You're the kind of girl that would do amazing on only fans. Great for the moment but forgettable when everyone is done with you. -Alakazam! Alakazoo! No one wants to fuck you -"You just look like you smell bad. Not really a roast, just an observation" -"I can hear your cunty, useless opinions already" -Sixteen of those photos and none of them look attractive. -I've never seen such a solid 6 in my life. She is literally the bare minimum. -"You offend all five of my senses, please go away" -When trying to look ugly goes right. -# Be gentle on your lil soul? I thought hoes aint got no soul. -"You're a 9 on Reddit but a 6 on TikTok, and unfortunately you're only monetizing one of those bad boys. Also gain a little weight so your hands don't look like claws, Raggedy Anorexic." -"With armpits like that, wiping your asshole must be like cleaning peanut butter out of shag carpet." -Gtfo be gentle…this isn’t your first trip to pound town -I like the way you taped your dick out of site. -At least your soul matches your chest. -We’re not buying your OF -Literally the only time she's ever said 'be gentle with me'. -"Small soul, large b hole....get it? Because you are a flat chested gay man" -"When you say ""I'm board"" it's an introduction" -"With that big ass head and little hips, you look like a lollipop." -You look like you’re about to tank some Bud Light stock -"u/ deleted - -Lmaooo" -"Oh, look, a hairy surfboard." -"One does not post on r/roastme and ask to be slowcooked - -This isn't r/crockpotme" -"if it wasn’t the greasy hair in every photo, shiny forehead, or hairy armpits, we get it you’re unapproachable and smell bad dude." -You got the body of a ventriloquist dummy. -Thought corsets are supposed to make your chest look bigger. Not as flat as a 13 year old boy -Puts a selfie on r/roastme and asks us to be gentle. wtf do you think this is? You’re basic asf. Literally just like every other girl out there who thinks she’s the main character when she’s just a carbon copy of all the lame basic girls with no personality -Not another I'm a woman. I want to be natural. That why your single. She has 5 cats and she ate cat food befote -Your tits won’t grow until you shave those pits. -"It took so long to cut through that jungle between her legs, that she took one look at those arm pubes and said ""Fuck it!""" -You could weave a cosy sweater out of your arm pit bush. -"you’ve never needed an ironing board in your life huh, flat surface, anti wrinkle ass body and shave those armpits for the love of ironing boards" -This is what happens when Dora spends too much time with boots -"Should wear a burka only showing your eyes, we don’t need to see the rest 😱🧕" -I got your nose game would take both of my hands -You let guys who make minimum wage hit it raw -"16 pics, and you didn't think to post one single flattering one?" -Gentle with a roast? Does that even make sense? -"Why do they try so hard to get you to look at their itty bitties bruh? Like we get it, if you didn’t do that, we’d have to check your Adam’s Apple to make sure there wasn’t one there. - -At least she posted on here and not r/amIUglybrutallyhonest" -"So I’ll be gentle with your little soul, but i can be savage with your giant nose right? Cause you have a shnozz so big and bulbous it looks like god quit half ways through making a bullfrog, said fuck it and stuck that thing on a human head." -Your armpits are blacker than the Oreo you're holding. -These 16 photos scream “I’m a feminist” but the one that just shows you are a lazy female is the one with Chewbacca armpit hair. We can’t be gentle with your “lil soul” because you don’t have one. -"Your ‘lil soul’ looks as crumpled and worn out as that piece of paper, and I’m guessing it’s seen just as many hands." -Why you got twin orangutans hugging you in all these pics? -"From the producers and director of Sharknado, now in theaters, Tarantulavag." -Your soap bar must be filled with hair. Assuming you even use soap. -Let’s start with why you decided a 12 year old boys pubes belong under you arms -"Profile deleted, sounds like she got roasted" -I think i’ve seen taller toothpicks -Built like a 10 year old boy with mad armpit hair. -Eh whats the point…she deleted -Why are you Gae -Manbrows. -What’s the point of hiding squirrels in your armpits ? -I feel so sorry for that dog. Can you imagine how many self empowerment talks that dog has had to overhear all while smelling your wretched armpits. -"Judging by your eyebrows and pits, I bet your bush looks like a forest." -What a loser . -Target practice. -Jesus Christ I don’t think a Lebanese Yeti could grow that much fur on their pits 🤮 -"Nice armpit hair. Do you even lift bro? But seriously, why so many pictures? This isn’t OnlyFans. Your face just screams high-maintenance, narcissism and entitlement. You’ll be single forever with that armpit hair. No self-respecting guy wants to date a woman with more armpit hair than he he’ll ever grow." -"Oh my god.. your armpit hair are longer than mine, and i am a dude lol" -The pre-op transition seems to be going well. -Can i iron my shirts on your chest? -"Gentle? Fuck you. I don’t need to see your 16pics of OF subscription material. If I wanted to JO to clown pics, I’ll google Ringling Bros." -"You look like the kinda girl that plays ""eanie-meanie-minie-mo"" at the gas pump with the 4 different types of gas." -Did the mirror crack in the second to last pic when it saw how flat your ass was? -Real shit at first i was going to say drop that OF but by the time i had finished scrolling i hated myself for ever thinking that -"You look like you're a captive mistress for a Colombian drug lord, but get back at him by using his credit card to shop at Target 😒" -You were semi ok until I saw your armpit 😭😩 now you look stank -You’re pretty hairy for a Femboy. -My girl 26 going on 40 😂 -Tinker smell -Angela Anaconda’s all growed up -She looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock. -What deodorant/pomade do you use? -you look like your canon event was a broken fingernail -How was your run across the border? Good berry season? -The moustache under your armpit is the reason you get friendzoned by the guys you try and bang. -Lil soul....so that's what they're calling Anal now...... -It’s the Willy Wonka Umpa Lumpa Changa -You look like a typical tik toker -"I can see you've decided not to shave your armpits as a sexual assault deterrent. Trust me, it's not needed." -You're a stupid f*** -Diarrheana Grande -She already deleted her acct -Barf. -Double stuffed - and I’m not talking about the Oreo. -Only 16 pics? -Looks like you have Gary Coleman in a headlock. -16 fucking pics - Why is the uterus on your arm so long? -OP deleted the post 😭 -"Built like plank from Ed, Ed, and Eddy" -You are just some thing no dude could never truly get hard to without imagining that it’s somebody else -Alright we get it. You used to be a man -She gotta be a lesbian…ain’t no fucking way a nigga gon fuck a bitch with hairy armpits -*profile deleted* lmfao -Your gentle soul is tired of being ran through. -Pictures you can smell -Your transition is going okay. -armpit hair has more style than the mop on her head. -The bony physique of Sarah Connor. The armpit hair of Dan Connor. -Your armpits scare me... -Ever heard of a razor / waxing? For the love of all humanity use some!😵‍💫 -"Dang that’s impressive arm pit hair, or is a Guinea pig coming out of your shirt?" -I can smell your armpits from here. -I can smell your pits from here. 🤮 -"This is the kind of girl you’d expect to get vd from who you met in philosophy 101. - -Be wary of the racially ambiguous 20 yo with hairy pits." -"Things that aren't working for you. -Eyebrows -Fringe -Fashion sense -Razor -This post" -"If you get any skinnier, you'll become a cautionary tale for anorexia." -Tell me you don’t have a dad without telling me….. -You look like the beginning of a bad porn movie -"""Be gentle with Lil soul"" the. Post 16 pics and none are her dick pic" -I'd rather eat the oreo. -What’s sad is that she’s at her zenith. Three hours ago. -"You look like you accidentally walked out of a 90s sitcom wardrobe department and just rolled with it. That outfit is giving me strong „I quit halfway through getting dressed” vibes, but hey, at least you’re ready for either a basketball game or a spontaneous hike!" -"Suddenly a voice in my head appears... ""Poor soul..has even more personalities then your Disorder.""" -Posts like this are annoying. -i couldn’t get past how absolutely disgusting those armpits look to be able to even think of a roast for gods sake. -"Seem like the type to jerk off your boyfriend, but demand he cum in a towel and give you ample warning." -If herpes were a human. -I'm no expert on women's fashion but those outfits are dogshit -deleted 😉😐 -Why so many pictures? What the fuck is this? Facebook? -Wheres her OF link? -I’m fucking sad for our future -How’s your transition from boy to a girl? -if you were a sentence it would be ”Im..Im sensitive 👉👈” -"Honestly, really pretty. Short as well which is nice. -But the armpit hair cancels all out that out. -You’re a 4" -Bet she showers once a week like it’s cool to be all natural. Girl I can smell you through my phone -comment -You have the face of unflavored yogurt.  -I’ve forgotten what you look like and I’m looking at you. -It's nice to know you at least got laid twice despite everything. -Do your kids look like you or are they cute? -Why do you have the receding hairline of a 55 year-old accountant? -Both of your kids came from doing it doggy style so the dads wouldn’t have to look at your face -You look like an Asian woman that used “the white filter”. -Thousand yard stare and granny underwear -It's like someone cut a face into uncooked bread dough. -You have the soul of a blow up doll -"Mom of: 2 -Loved by: 0" -A velvet Jesus painting would lose a staring competition with you. -These pics are either from a female alopecia awareness ad or the after pics of a botched male to female transition. -The face of utter resignation  -"I’m always surprised when I check the profiles of women who post here, and there’s not porn posted. - -I mean, in this case, I’m *thankful,* but still." -That’s not a forehead that’s an 8 head at least. -Jeeze these realistic latex masks are somehow getting worse. This barely even looks like a real person -What’s it like to have never peaked -"Lemme guess, you poked holes in both condoms to have the two kids" -Are you sure we should be roasting this hostage demand? -No doubt in my mind. Dodge Grand Caravan -Can you blink at all with your ponytail being THAT tight? -I imagine the two kids share a dad because for the life of me I can’t imagine more than one guy breed you -MINLF -You look like a fucking Skyrim character. -"If you were a spice, you'd be flour" -Could rent your forehead out to a drive in theater to project the movie on -If Michelangelo made his sculptures from cream cheese -Resting Putin Face -Human equivalent of a plain bagel -These NPCs are getting freakishly realistic. -She looks like she would have more fun taking a solid shit than having married sex lol -The Republicans are gonna flip shit when they see JD Vance in drag. -your hairline is thinner then your list of options this late in the game -A Mormon android -"No, you cannot speak with the manager. We don't do returns on used diapers!" -The hate child of cris cyborg and burst can of biscuits -All she needs is a cig and a double wide and she’s a South Park character -If unenthusiastic handjob had a face -Holy fuck you kept someone hard long enough to blow? Hmmm...rohypnol and viagra. Watch your drinks boys there is a swamp donkey on the prowl. -The moon landing was done on your forehead -"I'd roast you, but then you'd be a mom of 3" -how much is the rent for that forehead -"You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you're definitely a tool." -if white paint were a person -"Damn, that's a $20.00 Uber ride from your eyebrows to your hairline." -One day those two kids of differing races will understand the reason why they never got a stepfather -Some how I feel the paper bag on head will give up too -"34 going on 51 - -2 kids? Looking at your face and body, I would've guessed at least 5." -Definitely kidnapped children. No shot someone would pole you. -Your eyes look both soulless and attempting to extract the soul of whomever meets your gaze -With Each swipe it gets worse -It’s impressive how few wrinkles you have on your fivehead. -I support your transition. I hope wife support you as well -Why is there a chopping board on your forehead -are we sure you aren't a man? -You have a great face for radio. -The only thing thinner than your hair is the number of people willing to have sex with you. -"I dont know how many subreddits there are, but pretty sure we could list them all on that forehead." -I didn't know it was possible to wear a negative amount of makeup. -You look like someone who would drown their kids at the request of her World of Warcraft boyfriend. -You look like you got a face mask on. -Goodnight Moon! 🌝 -"My man, chill out" -Can’t tell if that first image is a cry for help or you’re just enjoying a private poop and a moment with us on the webs… -"Why are you posting here? If you have time to lean, you have time to clean. The laundry isn't going to do itself." -"You mean dad of 2, right????" -You have that 1000 yard stare that war veterans have. Must be rough kids. -"You look like you headbutt coconuts to open them, & look confused when people look at you for it" -You have such a beautiful smile!! -"Well, you are what you eat, right? This looks like eating a boiled potato with mayonnaise in a dark cave. Why mayonnaise, btw?" -"Finally, a woman posting who definitely doesn't have an OF!" -British cuisine if it had a face -"You're pretty cute for someone with a shrimp allergy. (*Wince* you're gorgeous, mama)" -"Well you only look slightly inbred, so that's something" -Have you seen this woman in your dreams? -Mom of two lil mustache hairs pokin’ out!!! :D -"You are absolutely beautiful young woman and problem more beautiful when you SMILE, ❤️ GOD BLESS" -I love the ones that are so insecure that they have to respond to every roast post. -Looks like someone started a new character in a video game and left the appearance on default. -"Mom of 2, head of five" -"I get it. We’re supposed to roast people in this sub, but I look at her photo and think “yeah, she’s pretty cool.”" -"Please, please, please, go to a comedy club, sit in the first row, and hold that expression through each comedian's act." -I can’t ever roast a mom. You’re doing great. Give bangs a shot! -What's your WWE stange name? Big Jimmy Corndog. -I'm just here for the comments. I love a well-roasted potato. -I’d bang him! -"Well, now I know where all my testosterone went." -"I want to roast you but I think you could kick my ass. - - -I can't help but wish you the best." -Krillin from DBZ -I think you’re quite beautiful. -Human bag of milk -You didn’t need to add that you’re a mother. I can see the pain in your eyes. -Does she look like vladimir putin or is it just me -Lil make up and your a 4 -"34 years old mom of two she said she needs a good laugh? - -Asked to be roasted. - -Can I just please return those kids? Their family is very worried about them. - -I mean I get the realism factor for your Reddit post but this is ridiculous." -*Dinner or there is nothing* -The actual momma of all them momma jokes. 😑 -Where’s your soul -Sketch artist said no thanks. -Someone fucked you twice? That’s a lot of whiskey -I can't read backwards lady take a regular picture not a reversed one. -Is their father still chained up in the basement? -U look like if mannequin & robot had a baby the poker resting bi**h face is crazy -You kinda look like Putin -When your foreheads in portrait mode -"Don't pay attention to the haters, you are a beautiful man." -Stop chewing on your lips -Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it! 😁😁😁 -"you know how sometimes the billboard has a number and the words ""your ad here""? - -might be a good income stream for you" -There’s no shame in being artificially inseminated out of necessity. -You look like a campaign poster for neglected wildebeest -That shit is unsettling. Don’t even need a mask for Halloween. -Third pic you look like the dad of two -"You look like someone drew a face from memory, but they didn’t quite know what a human face looked like and they kind of winged it" -"Not just a mom of two, but a dad of 2 as well." -Well the good news is you don't look as bad as your artwork. -Looks like a fart in milk. -"Mom of two. This is the look of ""I almost murdered my kids today..... again.""" -I know every 34 year old has but you actually like you’ve taken 14 thousand shits -"""Do your thing, Reddit!"" - -We're sorry, but Reddit is down for the foreseeable future and as such your post will be ignored. Please do not try posting again in the future as Reddit will still be down in spite of obviously not being down with whatever you're throwing. Thank you. - -(Also, hope the kids are doing great in spite of having to scam other high schoolers out of that seran wrapped pizza at lunch because you were too busy asking for a hate fuck from Reddit instead of getting up ten minutes early to make a lazy sandwich 😅) - -(Also also, if the OP asks me to I will absolutely delete this isht as I was okay with the first part of my post but I'm wondering if the rest went too far 👇🙃 ME!)" -And Here comes our favourite villain that turns into good..... M M M MEGAMIND!!!! -What is that like an 18 head? Is your hair running away from your face? -"Time to shave your 5 o clock shadow sir. If you’re gonna be transgender, please be transgender fully." -You look like you haven’t smiled since you had babies. Got that I could be pretty good with makeup but I chose to look plain and yell for the next 18 years -"My child and I were scrolling through reddit and your photo popped up on my feed and they said, ""Damn! She got a big head!"" - -And then i saw what subreddit this was and had to post 😆" -You look like you aged like milk. -Very thoughtful to have your mug shots taken in advance -A symetical face never looked so wrong. -That hairline running away faster than her baby daddies -You look like Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II -Fucking hell mate some bloke is wild for putting it in you twice 😎 -everything on your face seems to be slowly drifting apart in disappointment -Vladimira Putin -When you leave the potato out for too long and it starts growing hairs -That thinning hair is a tell tell sign of a mother who is also doing the father's role too... bravo -You are probably by far the most basic and bland-looking person I’ve ever seen -If unflavoured chicken had a face -You look like the reason 20yrolds think 30 is old. -you look ai generated -You look how sparkling water tastes -You look the type to turn smiles upside down -Her eyes are both making eye contact and no eye contact at the same time -She looks like if a balloon was a person. -You look like you get a lot of lights off sex -Mother I'd like to feed -If a mayo ham sandwich was a person... -Did you have the kids before or after the sex change? -Face like liminal space -You sure you ain't a dad of 2? -You look like you always have the good popsicles. -"I can only assume you've been laid twice (kids as proof) because no one would want to do that for fun surely? - -I just hope that whomever it was used paper bags instead of plastic in a bid to be environmentally friendly." -I'll let the pics do the roasting -"You look like you keep long lists and add infractions to them daily. - -You haven’t served fruit cup to anyone for years." -Looks like you could keep your crotch goblins entertained by projecting a Minions movie on that drive-in theater screen you call a forehead. -So are we just ignoring the 1000 blackhead and herpes lips? -You need more than a good laugh... -"I legitimately thought your post was to the ""help me with makeup"" or ""skincare advice"" I truly did, lol. Not roasting you at all." -“On todays episode of crazy possessive girlfriend murders boyfriend we have” -Fair play you look like me once i get out of bed lol. -if you want a good laugh go look at your hairline -You're one of those women who look completely ordinary without makeup but probably look like a different person with makeup. -Pics say you've been a mom of 2 toddlers for 34 years. -How much was the sperm? -"*any roast* - -how DARE you" -Ignore the haters you have clearly seen some shit -You look like a cat cosplaying a human. -You are the daughter of the lead singer of cannibal corpse -Bring back paper bag masks -Someone had sex with you twice…..wonder what that thing looks like -You identify as a woman? -No one will accuse you of trying too hard.  -The atrocious bathroom tiles behind you are easier on the eyes. -I can't believe someone had sex with you. TWICE. -"First things first, darling – motherhood is a full-time job, but that doesn't mean you have to look like you've been through the spin cycle one too many times. You deserve to feel fabulous, even if you're juggling kids and chaos. - -Now, let's address the elephant in the room – or should I say the laundry hamper? That outfit looks like it’s been through a war and lost. I get it, comfort is key, but there’s a difference between comfy chic and a fashion disaster. Let’s find you something that’s both practical and polished. A cute pair of jeans, a stylish top, and a bit of accessorizing can go a long way. - -And honey, about that forehead – or should I say fivehead? Embrace it, don't hide it! A well-chosen hairstyle can work wonders. Maybe some soft bangs or a side part to frame your face beautifully. And remember, confidence is the best accessory – wear it like a crown. - -You’ve got the beauty and the brains, now let’s get that style in check. You’re a supermom, so let’s show the world that you can be fabulous while doing it all. Now go out there and rock that runway of life, darling!" -Giving Kristen Stewart a run for her money. -I think she is cute -Thats the look of I have given up. -5 head and receding hair line -"So bland, I wonder why anyone here is wasting their time to comment?" - Who impregnated this dude twice? -Is your kid named Honey Boo Boo by chance? -An amalgamation of the girls who were cute in high school -You look like the unseasoned chicken black people make fun of us white people for cooking. -"Affordable housing crisis solved, there’s enough room on your forehead to develop a new neighborhood." -Do you drive a Subaru? -"Your face perfectly describes the expression “moon calf”. Also, it looks like you have a mustache, though I can’t find any hairs when I zoom in. Unfortunate complexion?" -Tell us you have 46 chromosomes without telling us you have 46 chromosomes -You look more like a man with your hair down. Not sure how that works but there it is. -You‘ve got an even worse hairline than me -34 or 44? -none of these jokes will go over your forehead. i mean head  -Prime advertising space on the forehead. -"I’ve got a new projector…, if I could only use your forehead" -"If jack nicholsons character in the shining was female id be -scared if you moved in next door" -seems like your 2 done sucked the life outta you with them lifeless eyes -Ms Winnie the pooh -You deadass built like a sim and have the kids to match  -Mom you need to take some time for yourself. You’re a beautiful woman. So go to it!💙 -I bet you can see into the future with a forehead like that. -A forehead I can play chess on -That bathroom is hideous -I could eat my dinner off your forehead. -I think your cute actually -What sperm bank did you buy your donation from? Because there's no way anyone had sex with you. - Vladimir Putin and Mickey Rourke had a baby... -You look like you’re about to beat the shit out of an old man with a golf club. -“Mom of two” = no personality -she birthed them in the mothership -"Post says mom, hairline says dad" -You look like the default female template in character creation. -"If ""bland"" was a human." -You look like an NPC from Oblivion -That face gives prenut clarity -She pays men to have sex with her. -The emptiness in your eyes makes me hope child protective services has been notified. -Easy to draw -Somehow your face looks like a poorly drawn portrait. -"Are you 34? You look like a solid 45 who went through several botox injections so she doesn't have any expression anymore. - -Was your husband always into old women?" -Bitch dreams in imax -"Theirs a new drug called ozempic ,you need it , also need to make sure you give your 2 kids food and not just keep it to yourself" -"Sorry, I need to advertise something... - -Her: use my small forehead - -Me: sure..." -If unseasoned food had a face... -It took 10 up swipes to get past the forehead so I could see the face. -"The gender transitions getting better by the year, you are very handsome💪" -Why do this. You know you’re gonna cry. -If 2% milk was a facial expression -The face only a mother could love -If cottage cheese had a face -Only here for OP's responses 😂😂 -Did you swallow a bee!? -Dear god… how many paper bags does it take to make you attractive? -Why are ppl referring to dairy products so much ? -No smile means bad teeth -Not a roast... cause I'm having a good day. But esthetician here.. have you thought about getting your brows done? Would open up your face. You have a great smile. And I think you're lovely and I hope you're having a great day. -You look like you’ve just seen your reflection and realized you’re 34 and still taking selfies in the bathroom. -Male npc with female hair -A lot of guys say women should smile more but I don't think it will help in your case. -Who the hell did that twice -First person rejected by Only Fans and Walmart on the same day -You like like the trump shooter -"Did your milk expire too, or just your sleep schedule?" -Audition for next hunger games series. -34 year old mom of 2 with the 1000-yard stare of a hospice patient who prays for a dirt nap. -I’ve seen mannequins with more life in their eyes -You look like the finished product of watching paint dry -"You have the face of an emoji when my only response is ""meh""" -Looks like a single mom. -Getting some albino uruk-hai vibes  -Can't roaster her any more than God and piss poor genetics already did. -You look like a a person version of a stale potato chip -You really need that fucking laugh -"“Hey ChatGPT, create 5 pictures of a woman that doesn’t GAF!”" -You look like the shitty love child of Patrick Swayze and Gypsy Rose Blanchard -The second picture looks like a brick on drugs -When you order Katniss Everdeen from Wish. -"What type of self righteous man would climb ontop of this skin walker looking , 200 yard stare having, big foreheaded ass?" -A face like a frying pan. -Favorite meal is Mac and cheese with tuna mixed in. -You remind me of the girl who would hiss at other kids in the hallway -"Like ai tried to draw ""bland white woman""" -"I love your sense of humor, OP!! 🤣 your comments are hilarious 😂" -we know you are nordic -"Id tap that. - -I do not have standards." -You look like you don't blink -You look like you purposefully sting yourself in the face with bees everyday to gain attention from your coworkers -"The last two photos were proof of life from your kidnappers. - -No one wanted to pay the 5 dollars." -"You look like that one character from Game of Thrones. You know, Castle Brick." -You look like you changed your mind mid transition. -That forehead is longer then the amount of time it took for my dad to come back with the milk (it's been 7 years dad come home please) -"No disrespect meant, but I bet the process of your husband popping seeds into you was work, not pleasure." -You look like one of your kid just woke up 😅 -your face like 'You pooped on your bed'! -Actually kinda cute 😍 -If white noise had a face -"You dont look THAT damaged for 34, id still prolly hit it I have a thing for green eyes." -You look great zoomed out -You're the default created character in a video game -You look like the girl people marry when they realize they’ll never get the person they dreamed of. -Robocop with his helmet off. -Blander than a white woman’s chicken breast -"I know this is a roast but holy cow you got pretty eyes!!!! - -But you look like that science little girl who rages over climate change" -That right eye looks half a second short of crossing -"“What do you need, stranger?” In the flesh…" -You look like you speak Simlish -Your face reminds me of whipped cream if it was neither whipped nor creamy. -If room temperature was a person -It looks like you just finished eating glue. -I now know what to picture if I ever want an erection to go away. -Basic bitch energy. The face of erectile disfunction. -Hello. Fellow. Humans. Ignore. The. Lizard. Greetings. -Your nose is huge -"When I cover the right side of your face you're a solid 2 but when I cover the left side of your face you're lucky to be a 1. - -One of life's mysteries" -"What, Facebook minion memes not good enough, so you come to Reddit?" -It’s the shark-like thousand yard stare for me -"Forehead, more forehead, forehead….. eyebrows!!!! Thanks Google Maps!" -You make that sheet of paper look like it’s got it going on!!!! -There’s nothing wrong with you that some Botox and a lie about a thyroid problem can’t cover up. -You look like the kind of wife that makes her man a sandwich out of just 2 pieces of white bread. -You have the face of a woman who dares her man to cum first. -"#🚨Breaking News🚨 -#Woman somehow manages to sneak full sized watermelon through TSA!" -You look lovely In a cave women sort of way -"$100,000 liberal arts degree, works at Starbucks. - -Claims to be an “old soul” yet has never gone more than an hour without WiFi." -"Guaranteed that envelope contained an art school rejection letter 🤔. - -She couldn't draw the pirate." -You look like the poster child for a PSA about college debt. It's all flannel shirts and art museums until... -Whatever it is you sell on Etsy is trash -"You're trying too hard to be the ""quirky, nerdy, artsy"" high school girl. Just move on to being the lesbian cat lady you're destined to be." -"You look like you work as a barista in Portland, and go in the back and cry in the storage room when a customer is mean to you." -"If by snowflake you mean exceedingly, glaringly white, and look like you're held together in irregular sized clumps, sure." -No one even zoomed in to see if your nipples were showing -There are definitely a number of men who refer to you as “that crazy bitch I ghosted.” -You look like your gay awakening was puff the magic dragon -Square lookin head -I’d bet a large Papa John’s pizza that you’ve got hairy armpits -"You look like the ""you can come as well"" friend when the friend group is making plans" -"Snowflakes are beautiful, you’re not." -Go easy shouldn't be a problem because no guy could go hard on you -100% you write complaints on your restaurant receipt & sign it with a smiley face -It looks like it’d be easier to convince you to commit graphic pornographic acts of depravity than it would be to convince you to shower. -Your aesthetic is 12-year-old trying to buy beer with a fake ID. -your imaginary boyfriend of 2 yrs just dumped you. he musta came to his senses -"Here i was thinking puberty didnt hit, looking like a hairless teenage boy." -Probably has more bush than a forest. -"Ahh, a practice girl, every guy needs one." -So how many cats do you have? -Lesbian by default.  At least you save money on razors -Emilia Clark from wish -Both your moms are the Indigo Girls -Uses her hair brush on her pubic hair -Snowflake? Explains why you've got no curves -How many Tarot decks do you own? -"I really thought “lesbian who looks 12” was your whole personality, but I looked at your comments. You’re one of *those*. At least you’ve got options when it comes to faking a personality." -"I work at a summer camp and there was a 14 year old male camper that looked just like you... - - -huh" -Why is every non-binary doing this trend 🤷🏼‍♀️ -Got that girl next door to Chernobyl look -"Her need for approval is so strong, she sends you a Yelp! review form after sex." -When book smarts GREATLY surpasses any other smarts. -I always feel uncomfortable roasting trans people :/ -You look like you get offended on other people's behalf -You look like you wore Chuck Taylor high tops with your prom dress to prove you’re “nOt liKe oThEr gIrLs.” -The most annoying kind of person. Sheltered and zero life experience but thinks they are very ‘worldly and hip’ resulting in the most obnoxious type of person that everybody hates. -"I was going to tear you a new one but Gustav Klimt saved you. And tbh your current holes clearly are going unused, so tearing you a new one would be a waste." -If awkward was a person. -"Aerosmith sang about you, “Dude Looks Like a Lady” 😂" -You look like every guy’s best friend -"Huh, so your face does stay like that if the wind changes." -"Tom? Is that you? Damn, you look good for being a transgender. Gay Pride 🏳️‍🌈" -The biggest achievement you'll ever have in life is being a lesbian in San Francisco in the middle of a rolling blackout -“Bit of a snowflake?” Your complexion says one giant snowflake. I’m going to skip this one because I’m sure nobody on this earth could go “easy” enough. Probably gets offended by the phrase good morning. -"Your the girl in the friend group the guys are glad actually likes other girls and no, they don’t want to watch" -My pronouns are xe/xim and I am a demigirl who is omnisexual -"If 10 million women were rated on a scale of 1-10 for attractiveness and all the 5's were put in a room with you and then they were rated on a scale of 1-10 again, you would be a 5 amongst the 5's." -You look like you still stomp your feet when you cry. -The most adversity you've ever faced was when there was no vegan option on the menu.  -Your favorite drink is gender fluid. -Claims lesbian cause guys aren’t interested.. gets drugged up at raves and has trains ran on her for the fix -"I can't explain it and I'm not gonna try, but you look like you'd be afraid of ladybugs" -"Honey, I'm a bi deep within the LGBTQ+ noosphere, and I could tell that you're such a closet butch that even RuPaul would call you, ""Sir,"" on reflex." -"Somehow, despite not even being born yet, you are every girl that attended Lilith Fair in 1997." -Last pic u look like the lesbian Ace Ventura -"Though you have strong political opinions, they are uninformed incorrect and obnoxious. Your taste in Netflix shows is trash btw" -You’ll need a hazmat suit to withstand that backshot air -"Girl next door, as long as next door is library" -I'm a pothead but my eyes open wider than that -Consider getting into motorcycles to complete the dykes on bikes for the Portland parade -Your boyfriend convinced you to go tree planting and you went back alone for a second season. -You look like you sigh and say ooohhh kaayy when asked to do something minor inconveniencing -When Elliot Page re-transitions -Your hair looks like my pubic hair if I haven't trimmed in a few months. Probably smells similar as well. -What's up with your generation looking old enough to be a parent of a millennial -Your pronouns are probably can't/even -I don’t know why you feel so bad. I’d blow a load on you and leave. -You seem like the type of girl who dyes her armpit hair instead of shaving it -My gaydar says not gay but pretends to be one as a feeble attempt to gain a personality -"The roast me thread is so fascinating to me. Decided to read the comments before looking at the photos and it just proves that with concentrated effort, people really can and will find something about you to besmirch and base their own wild assumptions on. - -My roast: OP looks like that one girl at the nearby private liberal arts college who has a podcast with a dedicated 25 monthly listeners." -Staring off into space as she celebrates her birthday alone. -You look like your favorite dinosaur is the lickalotopus 🦕 -You look so boring that museum handed you an application to be a permanent exhibit. -"Some people are raised with silver spoons. - -You look like you had silver teaspoons, Tablespoons, and *salad forks*." -I bet you use a deodorant crystal. -it’s giving never moved on from alt tiktok era -Yeah you definitely look like someone who uses Greenwich Mean Time just to be difficult. -You have subpar penmanship. -You look like you think salt is spicy -You look like even your tampons are organic and gluten-free -You look like the kind of girl I’d message on Reddit then decide it’s just not worth it… -"Why 6 spoons for a birthday dinner by yourself? Nice your imaginary friends splurged on a free bowl of ice cream. You're allergic to gluten, and cake makes you sick to your stomach. When people meet you, they get the same feeling, except when they throw up on their pants, they don't sit next to trees and take selfies." -"You think because you drive a Subaru with all wheel drive and wear carhartt it makes you country. It does not. - -In fact it makes you a lesbian" -Why do you hold the phone like a lizard person -"Okay, okay, you don’t have to go *this* easy… it’s almost getting boring 🙄" -You’re so mediocre that both your step dad and step bro would leave you stuck in the clothes dryer -"I didn’t look through them photos, eye browsed." -Definitely messy room with tons of stuffed animals and worthless pillows on the bed. -"If those eyebrows was food, we'd end starvation." -I found Pauly Shore's Reddit account -"Words can not describe your beauty..but numbers can.. - - -2/10" -She’s one vagina away from Panera assistant manager -I smell Daddy's money. A lot of it. -He makes a lovely girl -Are you self conscious about your nose? You should be. -LolOllOololOoLolllOLol…..WOW -you look like you have the personality of warm milk -You have sexual relations with horses and dogs -"Your appearance says you frequently check up on new recipes for natural deodorant and because of that you always smell like vinegar, onions, and leaves." -For some reason I Feel like she’s the human female version of slowpoke from pokemon -Your skin is thinner than the paper you use to draw thirst traps of Booktok protagonists. -"You have the hairstyle of a 35 year old man who works at a comic book store and showers once a week. - -It's also your best feature." -This is what you get when you order Emilia Clark from Temu -Congratulations on your transition! You’re so close to being a girl -That's the ugliest looking snowflake I've ever seen. -could have really beautiful curls but doesn’t know how to read a curl tutorial to take care of them -You look like you scream “fuck Capitalism” while also holding a Starbucks and iPhone in ur hands -Just a flake -Damn... you got a long ass thumb -"Claims to love retro Tshirts, screams about micro-aggressions when you hold the thrift shop door for her." -If stank was a person -What happens when you order stranger things from wish.com -Your nose can model for the Airbnb logo -You kinda look like me -You were far and away the worst character in White Lotus Season 2 -"You seem like the kind of person to say, ""I won't get mad; just tell me."" Then proceed to throw a tantrum." -you look like you were adopted by goldi locks and the 3 bears but the bears where whiter than snow -"""Go easy, I'm a bit of a snowflake"" - girl who says she was born in the wrong generation every time one winged dove starts playing" -I just know your full bushing -Your supporting a full bush daddy's girl third wheel for sure -noah levenstein is jealous of your eyebrows. -Swiftie? -You’re so quirky and unique! Not like the other girls at all!!🙄🙄 -"Idk but you got some big ass hands, and a flat chest.. you are female right?" -You look like an autistic Emilia Clarke -Didn't know my penis could become inverted. -Where did your top lip go? -You look like a cute boy. -Look like ash from Pokémon. Better hurry that pickachu might run -Go melt. -"I'd say do something about those eyebrows, but it'll just make your forehead look bigger" -"Snowflake isn’t an adjective for “you’re granola for REI, but even it out with cocaine”" -You look like a gayer Lexi from Euphoria -You look like you to smell books to climax -You look like you think penis’s are “icky”. -Drop your Etsy link and go feed your cats -Not even a roast about how you look but this pose is giving “erm actually 🤓☝️” so hard -You look like you just discovered Pearl Jam -"You're pale enough to be a snowflake as well. You're burned or in the process of getting burned in most of these photos. - -We don't need to roast you, you can just go outside." -It's not hard to tell you're a snowflake when you dress like a lesbian feminist -I bet even your queefs smell like patchouli. -Male to female or the opposite? -"""I'm not like the other girls""" -You obviously love attention. That is all. -You look like if Wish did mail order brides. -"The whole time you were in high school, your parents told you that you would fit in better/make more friends in college. - -Then you got there, and people found you just as annoying as before." -You have a degree in Gender Studies with a minor in Interpretative Lesbian Folk Dancing don't you. -How broke are you that the only paper you had was a used envelope? -Sings worse then Ingrid Andress -Ok snowflake. Tell everyone to not turn up the heater or you might get offended. -Pic number five proves this is your month to vacation away from your mannequin friends. -Save some forehead for Peyton manning -Didn't realize you were a woman until the third picture and was only 100% sure by the fourth on the fifth I figured out you were a stoner and on the 6th i became concerned about your personal hygiene. -Didn’t I see you on To Catch a Predator with Chris Hansen? -You look like you have sourdough starter. You probably smell like kombucha. Maybe try a lint roller for the cat hair you have on everything. -I can’t toast -"Constructive feedback- Clean up your eyebrows, then you’ll be much more attractive. Easy peasy" -You look like what vinegar tastes like. -20 bucks her pubic hair is braided. -"Roast me? Go easy? Likely single because inconsistent and gives mixed messages. Clearly not looking for criticism, simply seeking affirmation and attention." -this is autism if i’ve ever seen it -It's like I asked AI to come up with some pictures of the average redditor -"You had me at ""I dont use a letter opener""." -"No, I’m not roasting you until you tell us why you have 6 spoons for one scoop of ice cream." -"You look like you start crying profusely anytime someone asks how you're doing. - -Good thing no one asks." -Nah you cute af -"You couldn't possibly be a snowflake, snowflakes are pretty and unique..." -"Emilia Clarke from temu, but instead of being the mother of dragons, you're the mother of liberal virgins." -Dracarys. 🔥 -Two years of liberal arts at community college and she’s already munching carpets. -“We have Emilia Clarke at home” -You look like Dustin from Stranger Things. -"You look like you have at least one item that says “live,laugh,love” on it" -We all know you keep it fuzzy -Definitely no OnlyFans with that face -Definitely majored in liberal arts and definitely uses their degree to work at Starbucks -Your eyes are too far apart but they are closer than your mom and dad will ever be -"No you're not, snowflakes are unique" -It’s what makes a Subaru a Subaru -"Why ask for a roast then say go ""easy"".... On reddit..." -I'm sure your gender studies degree is really working out for you. -Looks like she uses Cherokee hair tampons -Type of girl to let her armpit hair grow out to embrace “natural beauty” -It’s like a Picasso painting come to life. -Da fk is wrong with your nostrils? -You look like the Jewish girl in every Holocaust movie -Wanted to congratulate you on your transition! -You look like the person to get friend zoned by a prostitute you already paid for -"You see Meg, you’re what we call a practice girl. " -"wait how can ppl be roasting you, you are literally so adorable and your smile is beautiful! but kudos to you for being down for the roast. can just tell you have a very kind, gentle soul 🦋" -Bi-girlie who doesn’t know she’s autistic yet -"I'd tell you to go outside and touch grass since you're so white, but like you said, You're a snowflake and you'd likely melt." -You look genuinely happy. Maybe a lil qwerky too. -100% chance she works at a renaissance fair -You look like the type of girl to dap up someone you have a crush on and wonder why your in the friendzone -what college would take some snowflake who can’t even open an envelope properly?? -Why do you look like you would falsely accuse a man of raping you? -"Homie ima be real, when they tell you to go high when people go low... that doesn't mean you get high." -You look like Weird Al had a love child with a pile of donated clothes from Goodwill. -"Nah, you look happy. Why ruin it." -He looks like she ran out of money midway through transitioning... -“Funny” girl that still quotes memes and vines from 2016 -Was the third photo shot at Harvard? -You look like you posted a black square -Buy a letter opener you freakin savage -You look like a liberal -"Roast you? Worst I can say is maybe a cool haircut and an outfit with some pizzazz and character. Other than that your pretty cute, no homo. You got the look that the right hair and outfit can cause a glow up. - -Other thing, don't tell reddit to roast you. I'm giving you an honest but not mean answer. Are you attractive? Yeah, I'd say so. Is there stuff you could easily do to improve your level? Yeah, sure. Should you take any such action because of what me or 20k other ppl think? I hope that you would not except for fun sometimes maybe." -Eat the damn ice cream before the candle melts it! -"you look like the type of person who has always been extremely privileged, hasn’t ever really faced adversity in their life in any way, and then claims to be trans or nonbinary just because you have self worth issues and sometimes you like the 90’s grunge aesthetic. (but mostly because it’s easy to put together and most days you don’t have the confidence to do much else.) - -honorable mention: you look like somebody who likes hozier because you think he’s this deep, poetic savant without realizing that he’s just jerking it and pandering to you in a blatantly obvious (and disingenuous) way." -You look like you are vegan… are you vegan? -Undiagnosed autism in 6 pictures. -"If by “snowflake” you mean “white as hell”, you’re not wrong." -Ia that your picture on the milk box -"All i can say is, autism." -You definitely use lemons as deodorant. -Id hit -Dumb lookin ah. U got the genes of someone who definitely churned butter in the past. -"Your face sais..eco..lesbian..vegan.global warming..conspiracy -Clothes say you got no style." -I'd have fallen in love with you 20 years ago but kept it to myself -You look like you're too scared to ask for extra ketchup -comment -Do you sleep with a vacuum cleaner attached to your lips? -Those lips gonna get you caught in tripwire. -Did you blow a beehive? -You put the mid in chlamydia -Aspiring model duck -You look like you pull push doors -"When your parents said to vacuum the house, your lips weren’t included" -"You look so dumb, you stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said 'concentrate'" -Your dad subscribes to your OF. -Those lips show why cosmetic surgery should be banned for anyone under 21 -you look like a clown with no make up -you look like a model - that does 'before' pictures -"You look so dumb, you tried to climb Mountain Dew because you wanted to 'reach the highest level of refreshment’" -Next time don't use a photo of a baboons ass as a reference image when getting lip filler. In the meantime try to stay away from the local zoo so you don't arouse any of the baboons on exhibit. I know it's likely the only positive attention you get but blue ballin a baboon while have PETA after you. -You look like you lost weight by only eating attention and cigarettes. -"Looking at you, I can tell you *definitely* have OF" -I bet they can use your face to move large panes of glass around. -Basic. -"If you fall, your lip will touch the ground first." -you're the girl who is 5'0-5'3 and requires the boyfriend be at least 6'0 -You look like you just cried for hours over people not liking you and then came on Reddit to be roasted to make yourself feel better about it ❤️ -No roasting until you learn how to spell “roast”. -"Lopsided forehead ass, talk about not being level headed" -You make unsalted crackers look interesting. -Are you a model for food allergies? You look like Hitch after eating shellfish. -"Yeah, the anal prolapse bottox isnt doing you any favors..." -You look like a failed Kylie Jenner lip challenge and that nose is longer than most people’s relationships these days -This feels like a bot. 3 year old account and didn’t actually activate until 8 hours ago. -"DSLs and a lazy eye, you’re definitely gonna be working at a shitty strip club" -"Tres Equis - -The least interesting Only Fans model in the world." -Are those Ball Park franks on your face? They plump when you cook 'em! -Getting our daily dose of attention I see. Get some medical attention on your lips as well unless your mother got fucked by a duck -"You look like someone who hates mondays, would name their plant Spike, and be trying to become a model, so they got some lip injections and can’t figure out why no one shows immense interest in you considering you’re in *New Yooorrrk*, yet have failed to realize there is very little soul in your eyes, and people can see that… and well, between the lips, and Dolce & Gabbana— you’re an NPC. - -But dats okee" -Your filler stache is showing -19 years of lip filler sessions -"Thy Empty stare of a 1000 🐓's that only daddy's I love could have prevented - -Edit : as a result a horoscope expert in the making to cope with the damage" -"If you saved the money from the lip filler, you could have bought Kylie Jenners mansion by now" -Are you allergic to bees? -"I'm glad to see the cross-eyed community aiming to be a model. The sausage lips don't help much, but you can always go with genetic disformity." -Use the god dam spices when you cook. -Lips got stuck to a vacuum. -"I remember the good old days when teenagers went into crippling debt with student loans, not lip fillers." -"Do you have cancer, because I think you probably have cancer." -"To quote Elmer Fud: Duck season, rabbit season, duck season BOOM!" -You look like you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. -"All you'd be good for is a Sloppy Gag & Jam Skull Fuq BJ w/ that HumonGous Clammy 5 Head of yours to shoot pearl ropes at for🎯 practice. Cuz I wouldn't Dare Disrespect/USE my Beautiful, Precious Baby's Mom, who I Love and Adore like a Lil POS💩 Neighborhood Cum Dumpster like YOUSELF.🥴🍌💦🤡🗑☠️" -You paint those lips with a roller brush or something else? -You turn a jolly person suicidal -This is what three brain cells all fighting for third place looks like -"Shes giving me them ukranian silicone sexdoll mom vibes. - - -You know. Those mail order brides that end up republican and *all done* from head to toe married to a fat bastard." -I bet your greatest fear is colliding with a pane of glass. -"Go, a head." -You look like a knockoff Bratz doll -"You have the broken, dead eyes of someone twice your age." -You look like Marilyn Manson without make up and with lip injections -You should become a flight attendant because in a crash passengers can use your lips as a floatation device -On this episode of Botched…. -Go ahead? You look like you give a lot of it with those bigass lips. -I see Susan finally got kicked the fuck out of narnia for being a boring ass bitch. -Going for the baboon anus lips I see. -Your lips are bigger than my future -Everyone knows lips like that are only good for one thing -U look like u trade bj's for uber rides -You look like you do acupuncture on your lips -"It looks like you didn't even need lip injections, you were born with puffy DSL's. Guess you won't need to work on them to complete your Bimbofication. - -You now just have the rest of the body worked on to improve." -Ive had ice cubes warmer than you -"Damn that nose 2 minutes early wherever you go, and tell the doctor you need a refund on them bamboo ass lips" -Off brand Bratz doll lookin ass -Just saw you on r/howtolooksmax. Did they not roast you bad enough lol? -You look like if spiderus from miss spiders sunny patch friends -Your face looks uneven -40 -She sucks -"You try to hard to look good, maybe spend less time planning your makeup and outfits and try to live more stress free - -Fool" -"Most boring face I have ever seen, such a lifeless piece of art" -Jessica Fiel -Using the pronouns of he / him? -Your lips must be that big because of the football team -Please dissolve your lip filler. Lookin like Fungus after the scream extractor in monsters inc -U look like the kind that ruined all my meme pages -No -You look like you have 0 personality and are an extremely boring person -Ur dum. -"Holy crap, why does every girl think they need lip filler, or just do stupid crap with them. It looks DUMBAF! Stop! I can’t even roast her the way I usually would cuz I can’t get past this horrid meat flaps!" -She can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Cheers to the chrome off a bumper redditor!! -Lip filler is not a replacement for a personality. -"For some people, Reddit's easier than setting up an Only Fans, but I believe in you. You got this." -"Look at the nose on this broad. -All other posts are selfies too. Need attention much?" -I bet her body count is insane. -"I have a nose like that, where you have to stare at the camera in a weird way to look normal" -With all the vacuum references it not a stretch to assume she’s vacuous.. lol… and vapid.. ala Kim Kartrashian…that dead look in her eyes -Girl you don’t need to be roasted you need seasoning bland basic looking ass -Ur lip filler migrated. -How many hitch balls have you sucked the chrome off of? -"Bro whys ur face long gated, look like someone stretched out ur face likes it Mario 64" -Go ahead is your business slogan. -Motorboat DSLs -Have your lips permanently took the shape of a cock or is that hereditary? -You look like my dead grandpa -well someone got stung lol -My favourite dwarf is Sleepy -You look like Delco Liv Tyler -Pretty sure you've been on the hub with those lips getting roast beefed. -You look easy to cheat on -"You already kinda look half baked, so maybe see if you can melt the other side of your face to attain symmetry?" -Why do I feel like that's the same face you have during sex? -I've got some chrome I need removed from my trailer hitch. -"You mean, go fore-head" -You look like someone who took too many money shots on her left eye. -You look like you paid for those lip fillers with your soul because there’s absolutely no life behind your eyes -I recognize you!! You used to be stuck to the inside of my fish tank! -No -Well at least your massive nose evens out your huge lips so you have that going for you. -"“Please, Uncle Roy, not again!”" -Most people just have a forehead.... that's a five head... possibly close to a six.... not good at math -“I fill my lips to distract from my bland ass face” -19? -Sucking on a doorknob before you take a selfie: not recommended. -Your lips look like they lost a fight. -"I thought she was one of those ""massage therapist""" -Strong anogenital tumescence game. -The fact that everyone here is only talking about ur lips u go babe -"You are a dumb person. You don’t even have to speak. I can tell this by the picture. Just a sad, stupid person." -You’re pretty attractive -On what ? Your gorgeous. -I'd fuk u -Looks like a mail order bride. -Good looking washing machine -You look like you would enjoy vaccum porn more then regular porn 😂 -Your face looks like a bouncy ball if it was depressed your forehead so big I could fit your mom in it there’s your roast🙃 -Looks like Handsome Squidward but with an accident with a vacuum cleaner instead of a door. -19 going on 40. Stop with the lip fillers already. -So what aquatic animal do you classify as? I don't want to presume your species. -You look like you only consume Starbucks -Post nut clarity lookin ass -"Look at me straight, my eyes are right here" -Let me guess you have an OnlyFans? -29* -Huxxxte! -"Awe, love, don't listen to these assholes; come here baby. Wipe off your face honey; mommy needs a place to sit. ;-🫵👇🤲🫳🫴🤟🤏👅🙏🫦" -"Did anyone else read ""19F, I give head!!"", or is it just me?" -"If printer paper has a face, it'll be your face" -Look like a fish out of water -Another tragic case of an allergy to one's own teeth. -Go ahead? More like grow a head around this nose to balance it. -Looks like your hair stylist is Moses the way it’s parted in the middle. -Most people are going to talk about your looks but I’m more concerned with your lack there of. -Your lips are built like the twin towers -i can ski down your nose and i dont know how to ski -"I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted to get the same procedures you got, seeing you is making me not regret that decision." -Bet that’s what you tell all the boys: Go ahead! -Lip fillers look terrible -"Dayum girl, lips all blown out. - Lookin like you suck started a school bus & it backfired. -Oh, & if you keep droppin downers you gonna make yourself narcoleptic... Yes even the Tylenol PMs" -The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell -You look like you go out to get more lip fillers when your post doesn't get enough likes. -one eye is focused and the other eye is focused on something off screen -"Fuck off, show us more of your plants." -Fungus from monsters inc.? -Everyone I attempted to roast you my heart breaks -"I got some benadryl if your throat starts to close up, too." -You look like every trafficked foreign white girl that if you look at any one feature at a time you’d think she’s hot but all together looks like a shitty Picasso -"You look so dumb that you went for your Brazzers audition, and ended up sucking off the janitor in the broom closet.." -You look like most of your annual budget goes to crystals and books -Got a face like ur always almost done healing from a DD incident -Sis looks like an OF model -You obviously got lip filler so daddy would let your asshole heal. -"Kiss me, I’m 58" -Loved you in the Push th' Little Daisies MV! -"I have seen more expressions in a flesh light. Damn, they don’t make the mail order brides like they use to." -In a crock pot on high -Those lips look like a infected baboon ass -Whoever said that the dead stare was attractive was high on crack. You look boring af -Your eyes are more dead than my soul -Are you talking to us or the person to the right of you? -Lips look dumber than Kim Ks inplants -Boring eilish -She look like a Bratz doll that was left in a cars back window on a hot summer day. -I see one eye looking at the camera. What was the other one looking at? -The dangers of looksmaxing -"Mom, I want Angelina Jolie. - -We have Angelina Jolie at home. - -Angelina Jolie at home:" -I show speed -"So, I’m new here and probably don’t know how this works. I think you’re beautiful, like model beautiful…" -Cutey -Why’s the top of your head tilted so far forward? -Your lips are so fucking bad. -Geesh! Why all these girls look the same? They all look like Russians allergic to peanuts. -Your lips look like a prolapsed anus. -Damn -Why the long face -Y’all this is just karma building for the OF posts in the near future lol -"…Too easy don’t want to hurt you. But, collagen called they want their last years supply back or was it Botox?" -"Lippsey Lohan, the lipness monster, Paulip Dean, Lip with it rock with it, I put my hand up on my hip when I lip you lip we lip. -Lifetime straw enthusiast -The sippy cup slayer" -Angelina Junkee -Cheap lana but still smash -"One eye looks more tired than the other, try sleeping on your other side tonight." -Just tell us your OF page and bugger off ! -Stay away from the lipfillers.... u look like a damn fish - Beekeeper by chance? -They/them have outstanding DSL -With those lips 👄🥵🥵 -Sad you have an abusive partner that loves to punch you in the lips -19 is a bit early to get your lips blown out no? -Another loser who hangs up string lights in her room. Do you even have a personality? -Told you not to eat the spicy food. -Prolapsed at both ends. -Smile your beautiful Dont listen to that part of yourself that says otherwise Its a choice what to believe -Those ultra rich Hollywood people spend millions on botox to have full lips like yours These clowns on here don't know anything -Jajjdjejfjkqkc -I want you bad -"Are you afraid to fly because your lips will explode at 30,000 Ft? Or does you moustache clamp down and hold it all together?" -You look like you’re waiting for an average guy to look at you so you can cuss him out for “being a creep”. -I can perfectly tell where your real lips end and your fake ones begin -She could suck a basketball through a plastic straw with a fractured jaw. -You look like you take two hours to watch 60 minutes -a well hung jury indeed. -You look like one of those new car high mileage posts -Thank God those big ass lips make your horribly large shcnaus look smaller! -I can just tell you have poor vaginal hygiene -bitch -"Romesh ranganathan called, he wants his eyes back" -Your dad trying to erase you existing more than WWE trying to erase Chris Benoit -Dick suckin lips -World politics huh. Interesting. -There's nothing to roast here. It's way past the use by date. Safer to just bin it. -"Looks like she either got that lip filler done at some back-alley “clinic,” or she went overboard with the vacuum cleaner attachment hose, or she stuck her face in a beehive and got stung multiple times in the lips. No matter how it was done, they look like shit. They do no favors for her wannabe emo/goth face, and are grossly out of proportion with the rest of her features. Also not helping are the masculine forehead, cheekbones, or prominent Adam’s apple. Just a bad package overall." -Aubrey Motel6 -Your hot -How does that upper lip smell? -BJ giving face for sure -Did you say roast beef or roast me? -Forget how to spell or are you too dumb to know better? -Fuggin fat shotgun barrel nose looking ahh why you staring at us like that Marilyn Manson vibes looking ahh -Why you got those Stefan Hawkin lips -Can you shower first. -Roast what? -"God, even your resting bitch face is a twat waffle." -You own vape hot cheetos and you're so roasted I feel cooked by the flames on you and vacuum cleaner in Disguise -If vanilla ice cream was a person -Did you really need to post here after your r/howtolooksmax post? -I'm literally certain you had a kid at 17 -Did you ever think of porn career? -"You look like my mother -(Shes a conspiracy theorist who thinks bill gates controls the government)" -Your lips look like my prolapsed asshole -You going to that funeral? -"not really a roast, but you look like your soul left your body SEVERAL years ago... i can tell cause i'm in the same situation lol" -Close the curtain please -“She got them big lips that’s made for sucking dick” -J -flat as a sheet of paper. -Slutty -When you go to clean your teeth the toothpaste backs up the tube -You look like you make your own soap but never use it. -I’m just trying to figure out what injector would do this to someone so young?? -Were you making out with a vacuum? Your lips look like a toilet plunger. -You will be dating bad boys until you hit 30 and then settle down with an oofy doofy safe guy who for sure has a reddit account. -You look like you give boring handies and annoying blowies. -YoI'm look like the side effects to antidepressants. -Diet Asian* 🤌🏼 -Ur so sexy -You look like a corpse -Wish.com Botox lips. Gives a handjob and keeps asking are you done yet. -Those are definitely some HGL's right there. -Haven’t seen DSL’s like that since 2002 -Your forehead is bigger than your future -"Can't roast ya, sorry, you're too pretty" -Bro you like one of those kids at Sephora bros trying to hide all the acne with free samples but it still doesn't help also the only reason why you're using free samples because you're too broke to afford actual makeup -"After you ""roasted"" that girl in HS with your friends on the Internets?" -Smile more. -"I'd like to roast you in your native language so nothing is lost in translation, so...... Quack quack quack quack!! Quack *quack* quack quack? Quack quackwhore." -"Your face looks like an allergic reaction gone haywire. Your hair is thinning like you’re gonna bald in the next five years. One of your eyes is looking real wonky, you should see a doctor. And your nose looks like a pig snout, you need a nose job bad" -Did you know that you have a allergy before he actually busted a nut on your lips? -"Janice from friends, is that you...?" -"Somehow you tick all the boxes but you are still not hot, I don’t get it." -"Janice, you changed your hair! How are things going with the Electric Mayhem?" -Resting vapid face. -The only action you get is when you smother peanut butter on your body and let the dog in the room -Omg a swifty -What can I say about your lips that Ballpark Frank's hasn't already said about their hotdogs when you cook them -"Omg you look just like my sister 😧🫠👀 - -https://bankozy.com/r/Babydee07" -Now I understand why facial symmetry is a thing. -"you are the sun in my life - -​ - -​ - -NOW GET 63 MILLION MILES AWAY FROM ME" -You suck -Your lips look like they sucked all the excitement out the rest of your face -That’s too bad that when things don’t work out for you you can’t fall back on doing an onlyfans -You don’t deserve to be here -You got that thousand cock stare -OP is just trying to get attention on here. -Bro needs to learn mewing -Holy shit- check out that pole polisher.. -You're as hot as my crackhead sister -You look like a dude who bought a Reddit account with karma to draw in horny lonely redditors into going to your instagram page and eventually leading them onto some sort of monetary gain aka onlyfans and this is a completely fake profile. -When onlyfans is your middle name -"So what if you can suck a watermelon through a garden hose, you are beautiful and would make any man proud😘" -"You look already roasted, no further need to roast" -I bet you can eat a bratwurst with no bites -Who keeps putting the stick-on googley eyes on the Dollar General toilet plungers? -They could build a highway on your nose. -i got a modelling job if you want to hear what it is and see if your interested lmk -What are your THC levels? -You look like your not sure if your Asian or not -You look like Billie Eyelash & Megan Fox had a few too many surgeries and ended up looking like the wrong clash of their worst features. -"When you fail at life, onlyfans, a lip surgery, and now roasting...." -You already roasted yourself -i see you ms kylie jenner lip challenge -You look like your lips got stung by bees -filler doesn’t make you look good now and it still won’t when you’re 40 -If the curtains match the rug do you wear a jock strap to support those labia? -Suck the chrome off a tailpipe -Lip filler gross -I can smell the sex toys from here. -Look like a carp -Look like every daughter of a dad who drives a German car -You look like Mr meeseekes which makes sense because you always want attention needy bitch. -Those index finger nails caressed it’s fair share of male ass hair. -You look like you used the machine from monsters inc -You look like a Dutch Oven smelling a Dutch Oven. -You look like every typical Bit(h who wants to suck my BBC! -Yellow jacket blowbang -you look like kendall jenner but trans -if there was a movie made on you the name will be shrek but trans -I thought we’ve come to a day and age where making fun of trans people isn’t funny -Limited Edition Trailer Park DSLs! Free beer koozie with every purchase!!! -Should have been marked NSFW since you have pussy lips on your face. Blowup doll. -Those alien looking eyes are freaking me out. They’re looking in different directions -You look 39. -You will never be happy. -Is that the new Dyson? -You look like you could suck a golf ball through a straw -You look like the before and after for a product that doesn’t work -I’m cold AND sore just looking at those clown lips -Putin called…that’s all. -"One day, your youth will catch up with the rest of your looks" -Why did it take me a minute to figure out which finger is holding the paper. -Roast you? Stand under a Florescent light for a few seconds -Nice Adam's 🍏 dude. -Bad-eye Sally -"Your lips are so big, chapstick companies had to invent a spray." -You look like a sad ruzzian prostitute. -You look like the typa girl i would find on the first page of blowjob category search -I'd smash but i wouldn't brag about it afterwards. -Not only do you suck at life but with them lips you suck a lot too -comment -People calling you on your bullshit is not bullying -worst* -Look like a Jaden Smith Bratz doll. -Dollar Tree Kelly Rowland with Temu extensions. -You look like you think bullying is when someone disagrees with your opinion. -At least you spell it like you say it. -You look too forgettable to have been bullied -You have the hands/fingernails of a lesbian carpenter. -The only foundation you have in your life is all on your face -You look like you'd star in Kwanzaa-themed pornography. -Your chin has been bullied so much it was too afraid to even show up in these pictures -How are you so unnatural looking that you look like a bad Photoshop attempt in every picture? -Posting these photos is the worst form of bullying. I may never recover. -"What does a GED, a bright future and your dad all have in common? - - -You’ll never see any of them." -Your hair looks like something H.P. Lovecraft used to write about. -Proper spelling apparently bullies you too. -You have the hairstyle of three different ethnicities. -Your head looks like a rotten mango seed. -Were you bullied because of your grammar? -You look like a ghetto bratz doll but sadly you’ll never fetch 19.99$ -Do your worse? You have managed the difference between you’re and your but couldn’t get worst? Looks like English classes bullied your ass. -Nice to see your head above the steering wheel for a change. -"If all your life decisions are made as poorly as the one to get that horrible bull nose piercing, you’re fucked." -wtf is that thing in your nose -Pharell williams in drag lookin ahh -"Worst* - -“Do your worse I axed you a question”" -'You look like u eat sand' -"Im not going to say you’re ugly… - - -But, my guess is no one wants to clap them cheeks for fear of prosecution for animal abuse." -"That's the worst sticking the tongue in the history of faces. It doesn't look sexy or playful, it looks like you had a stroke." -It’s “do your worst” -You have a face for employment at the DMV -"Apparently weren't bullied enough, you're still speaking without being spoken to." -In a couple of years you’ll identify as a cat -You look like the diversity race-swap of Medusa -More useless extensions than google chrome. -"“Hey Mom, can I get an Antifa Barbie?” - -“We’ve got Antifa Barbie at home…”" -You only stand to prove that Bullies belong in the schooling system -A blind person could read your forehead. -Pharrel to female williams -Clearly it didn’t do any good -"No you werent, i’m not buying the OF btw" -Your head is shaped like an acorn -You're not supposed to ask the meth addict that sold you the extensions to put them in too. -"You're rockin the ""I only date white guys"" look tremendously" -Pharell with fake long hair. -Your months salary can buy u only 1 bowl of rice. Your move. -Your ears look like they are on the back of your head -"I mean when you make it so that even a nerd can bully you, it's inevitable - -\*worst" -Comments are wayyyyy more civil than they would have been on instagram -First time I've ever seen a spoiled eggplant. -"I only date white dudes, will be in her wedding vows..." -"By the looks of it we can’t, God did it for us" -I refuse to believe that people care enough about you to bully you... -"With that hair, it's hardly surprising. - -If I was you I'd take whomever did that to you on Judge Judy. Try to get your money back." -Fully transitioned Pharrell -Worst* -So is the bullying the reason for the transition? -Next candidate for facialabuse.com -"As a fellow bullied person, I almost didn't wanna do this. Also, I feel like the entire DnD group that invented you as a playable character will come for me. - -But your grammar, duck face and pixie hair coloring are bringing down the brand. We already have it bad out here. Don't make it... ""WORSE"". 😬" -Alicia Keys your car -">I’ve been bullied my whole life... - -Terrible. Was it because your head looks like someone drew a big face on an acorn?" -God already did -Just “Phone Home” with them fingers ET -I'd roast you...but your skin looks like it's been blistered and roasted already -"If I shit a turd after eating a box of crayons, you would be the result. Don’t get me started on the bull nose ring and the tongue sticking out." -Are you fully transitioned? -"Ok, the saying is ""worst,"" not ""worse."" Dipshit." -That one black anime character they gotta throw in. -"Let’s be honest here. - -How much do you wish a motherfucker would?" -"take out the cattle ring, it will help" -I'll do my worse when you get deported back to where you come from and learn English. -"""you scroll, your buddy"" looking ahh 😭🙏" -"I wouldn't be able to see you, let alone bully you." -Ray Jay shaved! -Worst* -Honestly I can’t imagine anyone thinks about you let alone bullies you -"By the looks of the way you've turned out to be, you weren't bullied enough." -You really wanna get bullied post this pic on insta and be prepared for them to do way worse than here on reddit -Nice fake hair. They suit your potato nose. -I’m not like other girls I like K-pop and anime uwu -It looks like your parents already did the worst they could do -Keep trying to hide that giant monster neck ya got there man. -You couldn’t pay me to jack off to you. -"Between the warthog nose piercing and your fucked up skin looking like a topographical map of the Andes, you can't figure why people make fun of you? Do you actually own a mirror, or do you just trust your only friend to make your ""hair"" look as stupid as possible at all times?" -Doesn’t surprise me you’re on your knees by the fourth picture you send -Worst* -You look like your the type who would be involved in some pointless tictok drama. -It's quite sad the only attention you can get is from being bullied -Hairline receding worse than Jada's -Discount female Pharrell -No need to tell us your pronouns… I think it’s pretty obvious. -Man trolls 4 looking bad -Michael B. Fishin' for compliments -Where the fuck are your ears -Mean girl playing the victim. -Looks like your depression is your personality -"You are lying -You are the bully" -"If you were an Inside Out 2 emotion, you'd be affirmative action." -"Man, that nose ring is rubbish" -"Stop braiding your hair. - -You have a weird shaped head, letting it hang im curls will hide that shit... - -like seriously, how tf does a head get that shape?" -"I can see why you were bullied, to bad you didn’t save us all the eye damage and listen to them" -You didn’t get bullied enough. -Wipe your nose. -"When someone tells her they'd hit that, they mean with a baseball bat or a golf club." -Looks like you have the personality of a solo cup and the hairline of a 86 year old man. -Did they bully you for spelling mistakes? -Bullied your whole life? That's cap......but you look like soulja boy -Her dreads look like a pack of burnt Cheetos…. -You don’t like being black -You have the shape of an egg head. -Penis Williams -Honestly I get why they bullied you -There’s bayou Barbie in the wnba and there’s dollar tree Darlisha on Reddit. -Yeah I get it -🌚 -We can see why -"do your worst must have been the exact phrase you told your hairdresser, your parents and even god decided to go against the grain for you." -Your pictures look like a mid-tier pokemon evolving backwards. -Your grammar sucks. -Did you forget the color of your skin or you just like looking white? -I wish your English teachers bullied you a bit more after reading that title. -"In all frankness, the septum does make you look like a bull." -First pic reminds me of that snake hair girl from Monsters Inc -Without the makeup this would've been a jumpscare. -"Lisa ""Left Nut"" Lopez" -"you look like an amoeba, hair looking like them 🦠 strands" -"""TrapQueen"" without the Queen..." -It looks like you use caterpillars for eye brows -Worst -With two black eyes you'd look like an ashy grey alien 👽  -You didn’t have to tell us you’re a victim. We can tell from the purple hair ands nose ring. -Tupac lives! -"Is ""bullied"" just a play on words because of that thing hanging from your nose?" -I can see why you’re single. You only need one pic btw. This isn’t Tinder. -👽 -Worst -You look like Rupaul out of drag -I didn’t know puffer fish could have braids -Judging from the second picture you need a car seat -Nose ring makes you look like a cow. -Head looking like Mr. Peanut's kid -Four pictures and not one of them showing any expression in your face whatsoever. -"With a 5 head like yours, you look like a Klingon from Star Trek without the weird ridges" -"pic 1 - I don't see why you'd be bullied - -pic 2 and 3 - oh - - - - -stop making those faces" -"""Do your worse"" - -Instead of spending money on a septum piercing, may I suggest a grammar tutor?" -Drop the OF link already so we can see that balloon knot -I wish you luck but I kinda worry that “gay-guy-in-drag-eye-make-up” might lead to more bullying. -the second picture makes you look a bit too bald -You will make a white guy happy one day. -"It's ""do your worst"" and your sign is backwards..." -That hairline? Alopecia Keys -R. Kelly would've passed on you. -You are rather cute. I'd prefer to take you on a date and slowly gaslight you. -Wipe those boogers away and the bullying will stop -Last pic is north west aka Kanye after jaw surgery swelling -You’re beautiful. (Shallowly commenting on your appearance is the worst I can do) -Worst* but you’re hot so I can’t -"The bumps on her face spell ""ugly"" in braille" -God I hope you get bullied more into learning basic English. -"If a brats doll came to life, cried about social justice but has never even been pulled over." -You look like Tupac if he grew up privileged. -Rainbow fish headass -If bisexual and bpd were rolled into one person: -Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice -Look like the kid usher tried to forgot about in confessions -Free Skincare Tip: Rub a cheese grater across your forehead. -Nice mustaches -"Dunno why; U are beautiful. - -I was bullied the worst growing up by those damn rich kids. - -Hope ur experience is way less fck'd up." -Doubt -i’d smash -"Your nose called, it hates your piercing too." -"You're not kidding anyone here, Pharrel Williams." -"Nice low iq nose ring and plastic hair, mixed with Chinese child slave hair. -Like a darker version of the basic bitch crackers" -Got bullied so much you forgot to post attention in English class -"You aren't bullied, just because people don't give u the amount of attention u want to have." -Yea I can see why -Boo hoo. Poor me. I was bullied my whole life. Call the Waaahmbulance. -Your dad is not coming for you -3rd picture: where’s the ice cream -You have the eyes of a every crazy ex girlfriend. -You look like you always just got done crying -You look like the porcupine from sing -I can see why you were bullied. -Black snake fireworks ❌️ her hair ✅️ -because you're so bully-ble -Your forehead is so golden brown that if your hairline was anymore further back than it is. The United States government would be drilling you for oil. -Worse what? -It looks like your tongue is trying to escape you -You have the appeal of soggy bread -Just pick a”thing” and believe in it already. Hot topic called and said you can’t return your personality -"Considering your post history, why post on here?" -You look like you dyed your hair during a mental break down because your father denied you the ability to go to the mall. -You look like a discontinued Barbie friend that can't be brought within 50ft of an open flame. -"I've said it before and I'll say it again, home schooling should be prohibited." -Might want to wipe that mascara off before you read these comments. You look like the type that cried for hours after being bullied and victimized herself to cry more -Considering you're 'kink positive' you probably asked them to do it -It's like you have a selection of interchangeable Bratz Doll wigs. -"Suddenly, the Geeky kid not switching seats because she told them to is ""bullying.""" -Every girl goes down points with each fake addition. -Her eyelids look like roast beef wonder what else does -"No need. Life has done its worst, allowing you residency on it. 😂🤲🏿" -*worst -I only insult cow with **tags** through their nose rings. -You look like a Bratz doll that melted in the car seat on a hot summer day -Your eyes are 30% smaller than the rest of your face -Can't tell if Soul Sister or Seoul Sister -Your acne is more attractive than your codependence. -Did your teachers use your forehead as a markerboard in class? -You are the color of my pubic hair! -She looks that imaginary friend DeeDee had from Dexter’s laboratory -You look like you haven't been bullied enough -"The person in the mirror is your friend, not your bully......" -Did you ever rob Apple store? -Meeh just sorta average -If an avatar and George ffloyd had butt sex -Hair inspired by Avatar -Mid -"If anyone is down for eating a man's but, it's you." -I would do my worst but it looks like your hairdresser beat me to it -When you put your hair up like that it makes your head look like a football 🏈 -Wokeanda forever! -Dam Amandla Stenberg trying to get roasted again even after that music video. -Looks like an Eastern European knockoff avatar reboot -I almost felt bad when i saw the caption. But after seeing your face I can say bullying was well deserved. -Need to bring the Chinese “One Child Policy” across the Pacific for situations like this. -"Do your “worst”! - -Can’t fuckin’ stand that shit!" -You look more like the person doing the bullying than the person being bullied -Worst* -What was it like to work with Daniel Radcliffe? Did he let you keep the sock? -"the set of My Little Pony called, they want their purple extensions back." -"No, your parents not buying you another ""Skittles Frappuccino"" is not ""being bullied""..." -The title suggests you've never read a book. -Worst* -You must like getting told what to you and how to do it sense you have a guild ring in your nose haha -Worst* -Can’t even use the correct spelling of *worst -"Yeah, get that tongue ready, that’s all you’re good for chicken head." -You look like an overworked toilet brush. -This chick gonna be a single mom.. -You probably just think you've been bullied by all the microaggressions. -"Don’t worry, getting bullied won’t be forever. With those looks and that level of self-esteem, you’ll be a single mother in no time!" -worst* -"Your like times new roman Font. - -You're as generic as it gets" -I can’t imagine you made enough of an impression to be worth bullying.  -I know the reason. It is pretty much justified. -It’s the typo for me. ‘worst’ not ‘worse’ -comment -You need to get on incestry.com and trace your family shrub -If Millhouse was a girl. -You look like you're about to sell me 32 sticks for an emerald -Looks like you’re wearing those comical fake glasses with the big ass nose to disguise yourself in that last pic 💀💀 -I’m sorry you lost your fight with that electrical pole in “Hereditary.” -Look like a microwaved muppet -When did your eyes have an argument? -The nose maybe in Nebraska but the eyes surely are closer to the coast. -You look like the girl that bit ppl in high school -Now that’s a sloth -You look like your dad fucked a blobfish and you were the unfortunate result. -" -The only reason I find you cute is because I am blind and into black girls!" -You look like you'd put out for microwave dino nuggets and 3 year old pack of chick fil a sauce. -Looks like your Dad hit you between the eyes with his best shot while you were still in the womb. -You look like sid the sloth from ice age -Oh my God Barbra Streisand has a great great grandaughter -Why roast you further when you already look pretty fried? -"I’d say to start working on your onlyfans content, but honestly I don’t think you’ll get the views" -Hopefully you live on some remote farm just east of North Platte Nebraska because no one should have to look at that face in public. -This is why you don’t drink while pregnant people! -How do you look 14 and 82 at the same time with glasses on? -"Now this is not to be mean, but honest. You seriously look like you have a goiter (swollen thyroid). Next time you go to the doctor, have him check it out. If you're having any issues. Look up symptoms to Hashimotos, Graves disease or hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism." -"I was once in an airplane, and the pilot announced that everyone should look out both the left and right windows. - -He told the people in the middle that they were missing nothing, and that was because we were over Nebraska. - -You've suffered enough. I'll leave you alone." -You look like a thirty year old mom with progeria -If seasonal depression was a person -Looks like you just woke up from laying in the middle of a freeway during some progressive protest -I did a charity fundraiser recently that I think may have paid for the bus that collects you from home. Glad to see that didn’t go to waste -Shouldn’t you be digging a tunnel in my backyard under the lawn? -You look like if steamed unseasoned vegetables were a person -This girl doesn't even look old enough to be in this sub. -It's the Cannabis Fairy! -Your nose is 18 a week before you -"No roast, but truly: How is your brain strong enough to send a signal to both your East and West eye at the same time?" -👁️👄👁️ -You look like Layne Staley -Your green hair is a sign of mental stability and not a red flag. Lol. -"By the looks of the second pic, looks like someone’s already gave you their best shot " -Gypsy Rose is that you? -This is what I imagine a female garden gnome looks like -If i could put a picture to the word depression -"Good god, looking at you is depressing and exhausting. Armies could airdrop photos of you on their enemies and remove their energy and morale overnight." -You look like the blob fish. It's kind of uncanny. -Bob's Burgers character. -Sid the sooths home with all of the extra chromie -" 👁 👁 - - 👃 - 👄" -Looking like a character from Doug wtf!! -Finally a woman who actually posted a pic of herself without makeup. Your hair matches your sweater. And that's not a good thing. -Nanny McPhee lookin ass -Probs a liberal -You look like my son -"It looks like you came out roasted, what more do you want?" -You look like a jew -"Poster child for ""missing child"" and ""autism""" -Your hairline goes back to 1990 teenage mutant ninja turtles -would you like an emerald? -Would rather hit you with a wooden stick! -"No need to roast you, life owned you already enough" -That the chick from hereditary?.. atleast she gives good head -"If you were a pastry you wouldn't even make it as a plain brown donut, in fact, you're just a plain bagel." -You’ll be taking shots in humiliation porn soon enough -Behold! The rare female incel! -You are a walking green haired fetus -you be looking like a garden gnome and Gollem had a child and threw it down the stairs -Jesus you could land a 747 on that 8 head -"You look like an elf, and we know they age well could be 100+" -You look like you would be convicted of murder if you ever played peek-a-boo with babies. -"You look like if Stanley Kubrik took another stab at a movie with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman called, ""Eyes Wide... Apart.""" -The grinch if he went by they/them -Somebody already hit you with the two piece combo according to that nose -She definitely JUST uses the first 2 pix on Plenty Of Fish in 10 years -How does the fat relocate itself to a new position in each photograph -Meg Sheeran -You'd save makeup artists so much money on the hobbit -mclovin twin sister -Nah honestly she needs to get plastic surgery -Go dawgs....cornhuskers suck....hope I didn't make you cry -The long-lost Gallagher child finally found! Too bad Frank didn't live long enough.... -I thought you were a dude -better keep sharp objects away from you (best roast i can do think you’re cute tbh) -How many families have been sucked into your nostrils???? -big ass nose -"Oh your lost more lost then a chick as a first time prostitute -More lost then your mom playing fortnite oh wait she's dead -Bros eye to eye ratio is bigger then Pandora's box -Don't you have a world record for biggest nose" -Is it true? Nothin says lovin like marryin your cousin? -"No, why would you ask that." -voting for joe biden -Nose so big she doesn't do lines she does Boulder's -You look like you are Trans and put woman cromozones into your body -I can smell the sex toys from here. -Dang bro you must be a goldfish for how far you you eyes are to each other -You look like the type of person who would buy a Harry Potter licensed dildo -Your new name is Gertrude and nothing will change that -Looking like a goblin from clash royale. -Bro dyed her hair with takis dust -U got a tism? -You look like the fucken goblin from clash -That nose is screaming right now -You’ll never get where you want to be because you hide behind that stupid green hair. It would be easy for you to find love and happiness but you don’t know how and won’t ask -You look like you’re about to choke to death on a ham sandwich. Voice of an angel but uglier than sin itself. Spawn of Janis Joplin. -I'd wondered what happened to DJ Qualls -"You look like when you put makeup on. you would be the fucking female gremlin from gremlins 2. - -Also you could land a fucking helicopter on that shnozz" -I think I fucked your mom once.............. -Would smash -Well you lost the face lottery in a big way. -are you part of the Whittaker’s family? -"You look like the mental image I get when I try to envision a person being run over and flattened into a round pancake …but in a comical way, so they’re still alive and they’re kinda like a smosh of parts…just…eyeballs floating around , staring two completely different directions" -"Mr. Snuffleupagus called, and he wants his nose back!" -"""You have done that yourself"" - obi wan kenobi" -The biggest plain and a mountain in 1 face -Plastic surgery won’t help bro💀🙏 -Great figure -I'd hit you with my best shot but It'd bounce off your forehead -Are you a sloth? -The Pikmin want there leader back -Why tf she look like a blob fish? Someone put this lady back under pressure -who wants to play tic tac toe on her forehead -Elotrix seine Tochter???? -"For the first time, i cant think of 1 negative thing on a roast board." -Died your hair green for attention and you're still invisible -You seem too happy to be a mechanic -You look like if billy eilish and a Minecraft villager had a child -Booty cheeks pp nose and a butt chin -"Blowfish looking homosexual looking wanna be emo get out of -My face u look like a blobfish" -Pull out Ina heart beat -You look like a poor Billy Eilish. -Those eggs look like a solid lump of plastic and judging by that goofy grin on your face you look like you are all for it. 10/10 the doggy at the end is the mvp of this photo session. The one saving grace.  -Land an airplane on that fivehead -if “butterface” had a Mascot -Awe I didn’t think Sesame Street got a new Muppet -All this shit talking knowing 90% of you would smash that in a heartbeat. No need to call back though.... -"After you're done being roasted, hit that nail in your coffin with that nose of yours, hammerhead" -I do not roast people who are actually 12M and not 18 -Your face appears to have a little bit of continental drift going on somewhere but I can’t pinpoint what’s the worst attribute. -the length of where your eyes are apart is crazy -"Best shot is right between the eyes, since there is so much space" -May the forehead be with you. -did you mean to put a 1 in front of the 8? common mistake -Looks like someone already did. -Obvious you just lacking confidence pick it up a little bit you got a really good luck going you just haven't really tapped into it yet -You look like a sloth with your eye so far apart and stinky green moldy hair. -No -you look 12 -50 dollar cab ride from eye to eye -"party on, Garth." -"Do you have to turn sideways, so that your nose can fit in Wal-Mart's entranceway?" -It looks like life already hit you with its best shot. -do you try to look stupid and awkward on purpose -You look like a blobfish grew a teenage boy's body. -"Keep the look you have, a lot of guys would wear you out" -Cute!!!!! -Awwwww. A real life troll doll! -"Your eyes are so far apart, I’ll bet you’ve never said “you’re blocking my view”" -It would be assault to hit a 12 year old. -Second pic looks like the football team is done. -"I get why you need our best shots, the mediocre ones already landed on your jeans" -"I’ll stick my dick in a lot of things, but this is where I draw the line." -I wouldn’t hit you with my best money shot. -Is yo daddy Sid? 👁️ 👁️ -Sloth eyes 👁️ 👁️ -You are uglier then a pig -Why do this to yourself? -Someone hit you so hard on the top of your head everything else shifted downwards. -You look really easy to draw -Looks like Ganondorf -You look like a deformed velociraptor if it forgot what having a small nose is. -It’s a little early in the year for a hog roast. -You look like gypsy rose’s long lost cousin -How do you look different in each photo -Which Dr. Seuss book do you get your wardrobe inspiration from? -I see lots of best shots hitting you. About the face and throat regions. On a couch. And there will be a camera man. -Your so stupid that u tell people to roast u but u roast ur self cause ur stupid -"You look like a lesbian English teacher, actually that might be more of a competent and less of a burn in your case." -Got better sense of smell than ur dog -It’s a family root -Damn you’ve been cursed with a helicopter pad lookin ass forehead and an ogre nose with green hair and how you look skinny but I can still see your other chin tryna show it’s self -You have a great personality. -You look like your missionary and dog feel the same 😂 -horizontally stretched jpeg -"Sid - the sloth ass eyes." -If insomnia was a person -"Come back to Reddit to ask that question again when you turn 12 years old... -.." -Eyes in different zip codes -Your eyes are drifting apart apparently. -On the 3rd pic you’re to ugly to be eating that dish -Looks like you could smell colors -U look like a beluga whale as a person.i don’t even mean weight or anything i just mean the shape of ur face.it genuinely looks like what i think a beluga whale would look like -ugot jiz on ur clothes -What is that on ur pants -"What’s that on your pants … grandads ashes? -Hey … I get it sometimes u need a late night snack." -It took about 10 seconds to scroll past that enormous forehead -You could probably write everyone of these comments on your forehead -You look like the little girl from hereditary -"Reverse cowgirl is illegal in Alabama, for this reason. You turn your back on family then this happens." -Isn't it past your bedtime? -That would be a waste of time -When did you transition? -I thought glasses were supposed to make your nose look smaller not the other way around. -What area code do you have to dial to reach your nose? -Meg? - A downvote -I feel like they will just ask for the manager of Reddit if I said anything. I give props on saving that kid in ice age. -The hills have eyes -You look like Tom hanks big toe -"Family totem pole, one member on top of the other" -You’re a very handsome young man. -Goblin ahh nose -"Chernobyl had one survivor... imparately. - -You look like a Blob fish and an ugly human had a baby." -Cute kid -"Buttered toast, Eddie!" -Loved you in the last of us -What hair 😍 -Your dad is definitely your brother -I would but I don't want to get on the Goblin Kings bad side. -Bro is gonna need a 24 and me for how fucked yo that family circle is -The second image really looks like the 🧍‍♀️ -Your cheeks (on your face) are too round. -You look beautiful -You would make a good reindeer -Lose the green hair. Get some smaller glasses. Keep the nose. It will be sexy and You'll be fine. -You’re cute don’t listen to the incels :) -LOL You look stoned the photo with the paper. -Why would you post that last picture? Take that off the internet -"It’s like you’re 3 cats in a trench coat, except you’re like 5 of those fish blobs with human faces" -Did someone use photoshop spot healing on your eyebrows? -you look like you're from nebraska -Smash. -The ground is warming up so I made it back to the surface meep meep -Your hair is so green… that’s it -You look like you crochet the coziest sweaters. Crocheting is for dorks. (I also crochet). -When you hate your white privilege and think your brother can get pregnant. -You look 10 -Did you file a police report about the stolen eyebrows and mustache off your novelty glasses? -"Gimme your gd sock already, Dobbie" -even Britan doesn't want to invade you -"Hopefully some is old enough to get this... Are you Kira from ""The Dark Crystal""?" -you stink at fortnite 😎 (sorry if I hurt your feelings) -"None needed, you're pretty, only thing I say is let go of the dye" -Nice wig dude -Are you Jewish? -Looks like you're trying to show us a journey to become a goblin. -I’d hit you with my truck if I could -Left eye begging your right eye not to leave yet -You look like if shreck and the avart have a child and it would be you -Avatar: The last airbender -Judging by that nose I would say you’ve already been hit by some shots -"Your go-to line is, - -""Do the thug shake""" -You look like you already got a good right hook shot to the face with he ugly gloves -I feel like you nose a lot -My best shot? How about a 50 cal? -Either your mom drank during pregnancy or your parents are siblings. -"You need surgery -On your hair!!! -Please just go back to the normal color -Otherwise u actually have potential" -"""If you do cocaine I bet all your friends be mad as hell at you""" -Sid the sloth? Is that you? Where's Manny?? -How many versions of Hereditary are we doing here. -Fuck me it's Jimmy savilles love child. Menacing eyes too like Ted Bundy 😂 -"That’s not a forehead, that’s a five head." -You look like Greta Thunberg's unwanted sister. -You look like a trans inbred liberal. -Look like the guy from up 😂 -"Id say Elmer Fudd is your doppleganger, but I wouldn’t want to offend him" -You look like an acconplished person 👍 -"This is r/roast me, not auditions for love on the spectrum" -Why tf are your eyes running away from your nose -You’re the kind of girl that looks better in a glory hole booth -( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) just add green hair -I feel like you already nose what’s roast is coming you could’ve smelled this from a mile away I feel -Looks like you’ve told a lie in every other picture. -"You look like the kind of mechanic to ask a cover “would you like full service today, and I don’t mean on your car”! XD ;p" -It's really hard to roast a twelve-year-old. -Live action Sid the sloth lookin ass -You guys are really going for the low hanging fruit here...with that said jesus Christ i have never seen eyes like that the printer must have broken mid printing -Must be weird knowing your parents are siblings -Wasn't she in Ice Age? -U look like a poison ivy plant -God already set your life's difficulty to expert with that vegeta hairline -Looks like your dad already did -You look like if that one smart kid from polar express was trans -Why the fuck are your eyes so far apart? -The second photo😂 looks like a lot to unpack there -You look like you want to steal my emeralds -ADORABLE! You are too young to be 18. -You look like a turnip -You look like something Jim Henson would create -"Looks like they already hit you with their best shots all over your jeans in the second pic -8===D 💦💦💦" -the nose is further right than donald trump.  -u look like sid from ice age ...... -comment -"""19m"" - -... You sure?" -"I'm sorry for you loss. Things will get better over time. On the upside, at least you now have a legit excuse for when people ask you ""why the long face?""." -I’m genuinely sorry for your loss. I have a bag of carrots in my fridge that I’d be willing to hand feed you. Prolly some apples too. -Okay we need a picture of you and not your dead mom though -At least she left you her wardrobe -"Lookin like the phrase ""ladies and gentlemen""." -"What did she die from, disappointment?" -"Good thing the roomba is plugged in, 2 ash piles is gonna be rough." -M? -"'A better place' is a term thrown around a lot. - -I just think it refers to anywhere you aren't." -Is she in the roomba? -"Why would you post a picture of her corpse leaning against the wall, you sicko??" -At least she died knowing she had a son. Or daughter. Or whatever the fuck you are. At least she died? -"You look like Steven Tyler, just more masculine" -"I’m so sorry for your loss. If you look on the bright side though, she doesn’t have to deal with your bullshit any longer" -Did your hairbrush die too? -Alanis Moreset your ass down. -"No matter what, don’t do something foolish. Like you did when you purchased those jeans." -At least now you don't have to worry about returning the clothes you stole from her. -"I'm reading all of the comments--to everyone offering themselves up for a chat, if I need it, thank you. It's much appreciated. And I'm doing the best I can, but it helps to have people in my corner. Even Redditors." -You were great in Aquaman -You’re just a kid. Try to find happiness. -"Normally, I love ripping into people here... but I'm not completely heartless, I'm really sorry for your loss, it'll take time but eventually it becomes somewhat easier... I just have one question, for someone to be going through something like this, why would you *want* people to tear you apart?" -"My sincere condolences, ugly" -She died from shame. Straighten up. Fly right. Get a haircut...and some pussy -The most interesting thing about you is the Wall Drug sign in your profile.... -Your mother loved you and will always be with you. You are loved. So sorry for your loss. -I’m sending you a big hug. Put one foot in front of the other. It was get easier. -Wana blow that inheritance on blow with me? -"I lost my mom, too. If there's any consolation we unfortunate two share it's that we're not alone going through this terrible ordeal. And, always remember that, although times are hard right now, they'll never be as hard as the outline of your penis in those jeans." -You look like a dude...sorry for your loss. -Not gonna roast you.. I just want to say I’m so very sorry. -Too bad because you have a face only a mother could love. -"I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can grieve in whatever way works best for you. I'm sorry for what follows, but I think I get why you're doing this at this time. -Why do your jeans have a labia? There are innies and there are outies, but you've taken it way too far. -Peace and love to your family." -A boy named Sue. -"Sorry, can’t do it. I lost mine recently, so roasting you is a hard no." -How is this a request to get roasted after knowing you lost your mother? I lost my dad in December I am still not the same. This isn’t cool. -"... can't do it. What ever else happened, I bet your mom was at least half as beautiful as you. Sorry for your loss. - -If you want to blow some shit up or burn something down... I recommend DOING IT, without going to jail or fucking your life up." -It’s funny because you look like you died two weeks ago. -Atleast now you can wear her clothes without asking. -There goes the free basement. -Did Aerosmith write a song about op? -"Sorry for your loss, it's never easy, the anger with sadness. You just get numb to it after a while." -"Yeah, sorry for your loss. Much like mine, she'll watch you get shittier with time though, chin up. it's what she would want" -This trans community things got me fucked up sis -We should be talking about how you should have bought some clothes instead of dropping $300 on a roomba -"Well, you already look dead on the inside." -“This too shall pass.” (But of course never forgotten). We are all on our way—sorry for your loss. -"This isn't the place to be in a difficult time of your life. Surround yourself with friends and family, and open up when things are difficult. You can do this." -Losing moms is tough. She’s proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. Keep making her proud and may God rest her soul. -Sorry for your loss kid. -"No roast, sorry for your loss." -This looks like a mugshot from that one singer who went to jail. I can’t remember exactly. On top of that you seem like you have a strong case of gender dysphoria -You always have her pallor -19m? I thought it was a chick -I feel like you want me to comment on the awkward romance you have going on with your speaker but I won’t. -"Pros and Cons: - -Cons: Your mom passed away. You look like Cher. - -Pros: That Roomba looks new." -"At least she only had 19 years of disappointment to deal with. Regardless, she’s in a much better place." -Did they cremate the right one? -Both of my parents died a week apart last month... stop being a pussy 😅 (both of mine did pass last month. Sorry for your loss. I feel ya.) -Was it the loss of her daughter? -"Chin up, young lady. I'm sure that your mom is looking up at you now, mildly disappointed." -Sorry for your loss. It’s hard especially at a young age. Take some time off to cool down. -Sorry for your loss -You G af. Go lay down -"Fake post, Chyna died in 2016." -Were you her undertaker? Did you chokeslam her into the casket -19m? Is that a typo? -She's in a better place now... clearly... -"“You wanna fuck me? I’d fuck me.” - -MANGINA" -I recently lost my mother. It’s painful. My condolences to you. -Where’s Silent Bob? -"Hon, you are perfect the way you are. Much love and hugs for you at this most difficult time of your life. You deserve love, above all. Never ask for less." -I refuse to do so based on the circumstances. I’ve been in your shoes and you have my deepest sympathy 💐 -Transvestite HAIM -At least you got her Roomba -The only time I’ll get flowers on Valentine’s Day is if I die on valentines day -Sorry about your Mom. I miss mine dearly and think about her all the time. -I’m sorry. No roast. Prayers for you and your family. -"Hey, so sorry for your loss, but self hurt doesn’t warranted a better outcome for you, things will get better overtime." -"Roasting you is pointless because angels don't burn. - - -(Sorry for your loss my best wishes)" -"Definitely can't roast you, I lost My Dad years ago. It sucks, just remember to find reasons to smile." -"I'm not that fucked up, I am sorry about your mother. It does get easier. I promise." -First time I actually would appreciate seeing someone’s pronouns -Mouth down you look like a cool dude. -What kinda grief does one go through to the point they need to be roasted? Hope ur doing ok buddy -If I was your mom I would rather be dead than have a horse face daughter too -"Horse walks into a bar, bartender says why the long face, then says its mom died two weeks ago" -"Gorgeous, man, woman, it, whatever. Condolences on your mom." -I thought you posted the picture of your mom's corpse. -So sorry for your loss prayers to you -"As someone who also lost his mom (a little over a year ago), I cannot roast you here today. I’m very sorry for your loss." -Well at least she had a son.. -U look abit dusty don't u sweetheart -"Perfect mugshot, you can not blame your mother now... so who you blaming the shooting on???" -No obstacles in the way of playing pool on that shirt. -You didn't ask for the 2 for 1 special? -Allanis Bore-issette -Good thing you look like your dad. -"Cremate your walmart clothes, too." -So you’re who Michael Jackson was talking about when he said “hehe” -You like Slash’s bastard son -Ladies & Gentlemen Body Ahhh -Why the long face? -"First of all, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I can’t “roast you”. I can only urge you to comb your hair put some real clothes on and get a hold of a psychiatrist STAT! Love always, Mom." -If she left that means she doesn’t want you to join her. -So sorry -At least she's not around to be disappointed in you anymore. -Sorry to hear about your mom! You’re not ugly -I will not. -Your legs are so skinny it can even last a millisecond in a cowgirl position -The only person that's going to find you attractive is matthew broderick. He loves horses and is just gay enough. -Norman bates situation wearing your dead mom’s clothes -Apparently Steven Tyler is making a comeback -If Glenn Danzig transitioned as a teenager. -"You look like a human version of Bojack Horseman, have you gotten a free churro yet?" -Did you inherit that roomba? That would be looking on the brightside -Somebody ate your previous legs and just left the bone. And now there your legs right now -No. -Too soon -Oh hey Richard Ramirez -"I can't tell if this thing is transitioning into a girl or guy, I'm as confused as it's sexuality is" -You look like you’ve been stuffed and propped by a bad taxidermist -I'll penis you to death so you can join her -Aw you’re wearing her clothes because you miss her? -((Hugs)). I’m sorry. -"Sorry for your loss, but to be fair, any place away from you is a better place" -"So sorry about your loss, but it looks like you accidentally posted a photo of your dead mother." -If Arnold Schwarzenegger was trans and scared of lifting weights -"bet that roomba came in handy, to sweep up your mom and your remaining self esteem… breakdown, rebuild stronger brotha" -Peter Steele .. my favorite lead singer. -"Y'all need to stop doing this, now I feel guilty asking you how Camp Arawak was." -"Write a song, join a band, bring back 80s rock ballads" -You’d look great with a mullet -Oh shit I didn't know they were remaking Sleepaway Camp! -You look like you auditioned for the Brady bunch and got declined -The brake drugs seem to be working -Dude you got the horse face lol -You look like you been dead for 10 years already -I can't tell which way your transition is going. -Good luck in the big game tonight. -Sorry for your loss. May you find peace. -"Hmmm. -Looks like the only way she could get you to move out was to die.." -I’m sure she’s in a much better place now…away from you -Sorry about your mom. Hopefully she left you some money to buy some clothes. -there’s no way you’re a boy -You look like you where to get the best bootleg estrogen -"Thank God you put M next to 19, F might have worked too. As a matter of fact, NB suits you." -You look like the middle picture of a horse animorph. -She's in a better place now. That better place is away form you. -Why aren’t you marked as 19f? -How do loose jeans have camel toe? -So she is survived by her 19 year old daughter? -They put the wrong one in the casket. -Do you enjoy being the lead singer for Type O Negative? -You look like Chuck Shouldiner from Death if he was transgender. But he died too. -Your a male how many people are trans 💀💀 -Were you in The Ring? -At least you got the Sleepaway Camp money to keep you afloat. -You’re a very pretty man -like-Mother Like-Daughter -You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh oops wait I forgot.... -Do you identify as your sister? -Why the long face? -No roast. Sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is horrible. -I’ve seen more curves on the lumber at Home Depot. But at least the transition is going ok. -Take care brother ✌🏼🤓 -Why would you do this ? -Loved you as Derek Smalls in Spinal Tap -"Well, it can't get any worse. Your mom can only die once. (From experience)." -No way Young Lady ! Stop the madness !! -I'll cremate u -*Hugs* ❤️ Long haired men deserve compassion too. -I'll creamate u -"Sorry for your loss OP. - -And if you do get cremated, at least your robot vacuum will be able to pick up your ashes" -I’m so sorry for your loss. -No. Sorry for your loss. -Sorry for your lost. My sincerest condolences. -So sorry for your loss. -I can't do it. Hang in there. -You've got your mother's dead eyes. -You've got a face only a mother could love. -I am sorry to hear about your mom. -Are you a chick or the kid from dazed and confused? -I almost jerked off to this -Ngl you look cute -My condolences 😞🙏 -"No need to use your mom's clothes, just get your own" -There are time when we relish roasting folks...other time we want you to know that we love you and will be praying for you. -Sorry 😢 -How’s the transition going ? Maybe up the dosage ? -For a chick your pretty flat chested -Ill be your new mommy -Get help -Sorry for your loss! At least she left knowing that the one at the door welcoming her looks just like you. Is that you Jesus? -I’m so sorry for your loss of your mom!!💔 -“19m” you’re trolling right? -ur def hiding a dick -"No, no i won’t" -I thought you were a woman at first untill I saw 19m. -"Look on the bright side, you never have to worry about coming out as whatever gender you are to her." -She lives on in you. You look just like her. -They call you Casper the Ghost’s whiter sister -smash -"I'm sorry for your loss. - -I'm also sorry that your mom is no longer around to buy you unwornout clothes that fit properly. 😬" -"Knock knock -“Who’s there?” -Not ur Mom !!!😏🤷🏽‍♂️🧑🏻‍🦳💀⚰️🧟‍♀️" -"Bro is this a pick of you or your mom? - -Sorry btw." -Hopefully she left you her makeup and clothes. So you can finally commit to the femboy lifestyle. -You look deader than your dead mom ☠️😵 -Don’t ever go to prison -I’m sure she was proud of your feminine form. -You should try getting sleep. I’ve been told it’s important. Sorry for your loss -ur face is making me lag -ur face is making me lag -"sorry for the loss, but at least ur ugly" -I can see why she did… -You look like if a mermaid grew up on land -Roast you? It’s hard to roast someone with superpowers. Suuuuuuper simple… -Welcome to the orphan gang 🤙🏼 also you look like a chick -I was going to ask why the long face…. -She probably dye because of your ugly face -No bra -You must drink dark roasted coffee -That's so rough my man your only 19 advice don't go to drugs or sex wait some time join a gym get the sads out again owes You got sibs lean on them go Make mum proud she'll see you -Sorry for your loss. Was it of embarrassment? -You wear baggy clothes to hide the shame of loss -Now we know what Resting Dead Mom Face is -Is your dad Mr Ed? -cremate me to is fucking INSANE -I’m guessing she always wanted a boy instead? -You're not supposed to use the ashes as a conditioner dude -Your mom died to get away from you -"The 80's thrasher haircut only works for some people. Fortunately for you, it doesn't." -Too early to raid her closet don't you think? -I am sorry for your loss. Please don't give up on your life. I know it's a difficult thing to process. If you need someone to talk to we will be happy to help you through this healing process -You sure you’re not the dead body ? -That's really sad if true. -"I would kms if you were my daughter also. - -(No hate, much love to you and your family, I feel very sorry for your loss)" -Nah dude. I can’t do it. Hang in there bro. -Did your mom die of disappointment? -"Old physician here. I can’t roast you. I’m very sad for you and you’re obviously devastated as expected. I can’t say it gets easier with time but you adjust. Just stay safe, ok?" -That’s a face only a mother could love….oh shit well looks like your out of luck -"I can only imagine the pain your going through - -But dw with a face like that, you can turn mourning into a lucrative side job. -I’m sure the offers are through the roof since the funeral. - -. - -RIP to mommy tho, time heals all wounds." -Clearly died of disappointment... -Which way are you transitioning? -Are you a girl or a guy -sorry for your loss dawg -"I don’t need to roast you, five seconds in the sun, and you’d be done. No need for official cremation." -GENDER BENDER 🤔🤯 -"Better fire up that Roomba. Somebody's got to sweep up what's left of your shattered heart, and it won't be your mother. - -Seriously, my condolences to you. Your mother certainly raised a strong woman. You got this." -You are more pale than your mothers ghost at this point. -Oh I get it your Norman Bates!! -The most interesting thing about you 1 year from now will be that your mom died 54 weeks ago. -Woahh I literally thought that was a dude -She probably faking after seeing how much of a failiure you are -Lookin’ like a trans Peter Steele. -"I thought the 80s died too, but here you are" -Yeah I think the reaper missed them took the mum instead -"You poor thing, what was your murder weapon? I can tell by the deviant eyes. I’m just fooling lmao idk if I went to far but I really didn’t intend for anything but to crack a smile sorry 🤣💪🏼" -"Damn, it’s like rain on your wedding day." -"The only favor she ever did for you? - -Lost some family last couple years. Hey hello of you need it" -You look like a woman. -I feel your pain I lost mine at the age of 5 -"Sorry for your loss, i will save this fire for another time" -Who's thinking outside the box now🗿🍷 -She died to get away from you. -"Your mom would want you to love yourself, and your a very pretty young woman with a stupid green sweater. That's all the roast you'll get from me right now." -Did testosterone also ooze out of your eyes with tears of grief? -"Nope. Sorry about your loss, kid. Really." -Why the long face -Girl that's fucked up. You are too young to experience that loss. I hope you get therapy -"Just because she died doesn't mean you had to steal her cloths.. - -in all seriousness though are you really a guy, and just enjoy dressing like a middle aged soccer mom... - -Or are you really a girl that was born so ugly you decided to pretend to be a guy." -Well first of all man or woman? -"I can't roast anyone that recently lost their mom. I know you're lookin for some laughs to cheer you up.... so do what I do... roast everyone else lol - -Hope you feel better soon." -Looking at you I understand why she gave up -I feel like you got the f confused with m. Like how some people can't tell their L from their R. -"Not roasting you. - -I've lost my mum in 2020 due to Covid. It was the biggest punch in my face. I was 25 when mum died and I was asking everyone when this pain, grief will end. - -The answer is - it took me 3 years to fully, emotionally recover. You'll too. Just give yourself time and be absolutely selfish. Nobody will love you the way your mother loved you, so its your time to love yourself and put yourself first everywhere. - -Best wishes for you. DM is open for any emotional support. ❤️" -You already look dead anyway -Looks like you’re the man of the house now -Pronouns: pen/is -"Camel toe, camel face, bet you are easily hydrated!👍" -I’m sorry 😢 -You need a new account called BoJack_Horsewoman -Are you admitting to it or.... -I'm sure you were the best son and daughter that your mom could ever ask for! -"I'm sorry for your loss. I legit read the caption as ""Cream me too"" and ended up confused af" -Damn at first I was sure you were a chick. -She obviously didn't leave you any money in the will. -"Sorry about your mom. Even in jest, I wouldn't want to say anything hurtful. Hang in there, you will make it through." -You look like a man with a female Snapchat filter -Did she die when you told her you identified as a female? -If you spill her ashes that roomba will come in handy -I would rather read 19m on Omegle chat than see your face next to it. -You’re leaning over due to lack of Jean material at your knee. -Next time tag a NSFW please dude! -Im sorry. -I’m sorry about your mom. Hope you’re healing and managing your grief. -I kinda wanna roast the people that are trying to get you to pitty Fvck them even though you're the one who deserves a pitty Fvck. -You look like an old late 70’s photo -"No roast. As someone who has also lost their mom at a young age, it fucking sucks. Gets easier as the days go by but never the same. Take care of yourself" -Sorry for your loss I know the feeling of losing your mother at that age is traumatic. I was the same age when mine passed away. I wish you well and if you ever need to talk I'll listen. -"And yet she's still cuter than you. (I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.... honestly I've never apologized on this sub before.)" -Built like a 12 year olds Roblox avatar. -The roomba isn’t the only thing on this picture that sucks -You look like a pickle -"Nope, ain’t gonna happen! Please accept my sincere condolences on the occasion of your loss. - -TF motivated you to seek solace here of all places?" -Your penis is actually just the world's longest clit and you just are lacking in the chesticles -My condolences fam -There is no way this is a dude. That is one feminine dude. -"I am so sorry about your loss, Robert" -Is this a mugshot? -So great of u trying to move on. Best luck my little pony -Look at how she’s holding that sign. Looks like she’s done this before. Prostitution is a crime. Get a real job! -comment -"You buy yourself a lot of birthday cards, don't you? 😒" -"Strawberry, short, with no cake" -"Chill with the devil stare, adderall eyes" -"Be nice people, this is somebody’s grandmother." -Literally the same the dude you lost your virginity to said! -"You are the personification of the juice that comes during the first squeeze of mustard, if the bottle is not shaken." -The Ron Weasley of J.K. Rowling’s nightmares. -You come up a lot in conversations about psycho exes dont you? -"Lets do this again in 20 years when you are still single, live with 8 cats, dont shave anything, and complain about the patriarchy every day." -The weird kid from polar express grew his hair out -You make Johnny Winter look tan. -"Dead-ass eye, even for a soulless ginger." -"When dudes OD on Viagra, doctors prescribe you to counteract it." -I like that picture around the firepit with all of your friends. -A lot of drunk men have uttered similar words -My cat hacked up a hairball that looked just like you. -"I feel like ""fuck it, why not?"" Is gonna be the only reason you get human affection." -Looks like you’re challenging Kristen Stewart to an acting contest. No emotion for every situation. -That expressionless face is simply chilling. Any man you get with should expect to be pegged regularly. -Cottagecore Greta Thunburg -"come on greta, you have more important shit to do" -Pippy Longstockain’t -Greta Thuntberg's slow sister. -Can you pls ease stop making the zoolander face it’s scaring me 😂 -Somebody told you those glasses looked good. That's the toughest part. -This girl cums easy. Go at it boys -Girl please no. I get it the holidays are tough and you’re #notlikeothergirls. But please don’t subjugate yourself to a roast just so that you can for once in your life feel noticed. -"So many of these comments are genuine shit. Not even good roasts, just the same “you are a young woman therefore sex object. And ginger haha.”" -What a drunk old man says when he takes you home from the bar -Look at little ho’ on the prairie over here. -You look like the minute you consensually touch a penis you begin crying. -Waiting for a callback that will never come from the practice girl auditions. -Chappell roangun -Were you cloned off of Conan O'Brien? -This is why Ariana Grande should not have kids with that troll redhead she is currently dating -Bucolic scenes and recessive genes. -You look like you can’t get off unless the guy you’re fucking is crying. -"If they ever made an American remake of Harry Potter, you’d be the perfect Hermione. But not the clever, charming Hermione, more like the one who enforces the dress code and reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homework. That light fixture behind you? It’s not just a lamp, it’s your personality trying to escape the room. - -The Breaking Bad shirt is solid though. Nothing says “I’m edgy” like wearing a show about drugs while sitting in a bedroom that looks like Pinterest threw up in it. And that expression? Pure “my parents wouldn’t let me watch TV-14 until I was 18” vibes. Keep it up, Hermione. Gryffindor might need their hall monitor back." -"""Fuck it, why not"" - - -Same thing your parents said when you were conceived" -"Where did your eyebrows go? And where did your smile go? Jesus shit, you look like you watched your entire family get massacred…" -Your smile makes me want to be gay. -You take the ass out of Asperger's -damn who ordered mikaila murphy on shein? 😭 -"Breaking bad shirt, I would've said child of walt and jesse but that's boring" -"I hear her nagging me for some reason, def a nagger" -I refuse to roast 12 year olds. Your parents should take your phone away. -This one time at band camp... -Is is too late to stop the transition? -Those 2 neurons between you ears must only connect a couple of times a day. That’s the most vacant look I’ve seen in some he who hadn’t been lobotomized. -"Guys, really do like you for your personality..." -Your glasses do not suit your face whatsoever. Otherwise no notes. -"I was having a good day before this post , sun was shining in my red beard admiring my nice physique in the mirror, happy and confident and then I saw you . Now I just want to go bottle of brown hair dye and and cut my beard off ." -you know the rules! no water and no food after midnight! -Her glasses shrink her eyes and give her an animated look. Like a Weasley animated for cloudy with a chance of meat balls of something. -I bet you have the best parents and grew up in a great environment. So wear tee shirts about drugs you think are cool. Next thing you're fighting over duffy cigarettes in a dollar general parking lot with a baby on hip that you just dropped. Howboutdat? -Only thing I can find wrong is the fingernails being down to the nail bed. Otherwise a gorgeous girl. -"O guardian of the silent flame, your face is a mirror for those who can see what lies beyond the visible. The lamp above you may dispel the shadows, but true enlightenment comes not from without, but from the glow within. - -Hear the words of Attar: “The path to truth is like a candle - it consumes itself to give light.” May your striving not remain in the world of appearances, but fathom the depths of your heart. For the soul does not shine through external light, but through the wisdom of being, which unfolds when the ego disintegrates. - -Go, daughter of silence, with gentleness and courage into the darkness of the unknown - for there the flame of your true being will burn brightest." -Woman Sheldon -Gingers don't have souls by the looks of it. -"I have a question,I'm.. but why are you staring at the phone like that? 😭 It's creeping me.." -You look like the little mermaid if it took place off of the Jersey Shore. -"Merida if she was a tumblr, insta, and Pinterest girlie" -"Shes got that ""smells like cat piss"" vibe" -Poster child for when having too many vaccines goes wrong. -Is that your natural hair color or did somebody light a fart off of your upper lip? -🎵 stop looking at me with those eyes 👀🎵 sauce Slide 4 pic -A pampered princess who is mad at her mom for saying no to belly button piercing. -"The future doesnt seem as bright does it? Dont worry, you will fit in just fine as a porn fluffer or a monday morning stripper. Either way, go earn your pimp their money." -Why not? So you don't get roped into kiddy pron. That's why not. -"bro if u dont get ur i still see ur shadows in my room headed ass out of here - -GETT OUTTT" -Sadie Stink -You definitely give off a “but daddy I love him!” vibe. -Your face screams stage 6 clinger -"I'm expected to believe you're actually 18? - -Yeah, and Chris Hanson sings MMMbob. - -That's 2 references your parents might understand." -"Better get the Kirkland sunscreen out, or else the sun'll roast ya ass too, pippy longstockings." -I'm calling your parents. Go to bed. -Your aesthetic is adorable. You look like a sweet indie girl -https://youtu.be/KE0fLNOK4OU?feature=shared -She’s the temu version of a pumpkin spice latte…looks ok but taste like shit…🤣 -You think a lot about murdering people don't you -"Prolly what your dad said, when he left..." -"Q: Fuck it, why not? -A: With those photos, we can never tell if Chris Hansen is going to come strolling out with some questions and some LEO'S hanging in the carpark." -Is..is that I dude? -Lady virgin -"If celery was a person, it would still be more interesting than you." -"Many reasons not to fuck it. - -And just how many restraining orders do you have on you? You have the vibe of “I KNOW I can make them love me if I get a chance!!!”" -My friend said you look like you were made using the paint bucket tool -"You look like you’re trying to do the intense eye thing but you just look crazy… But hey- because you’re so young, your face will probably catch up with that nose soon… -You would definitely benefit from learning how to do makeup too. It would probably help with your crazy eyes and you could learn to make it look like there is actually an upper lip on your face. - -Lastly, and this one is not roast but honest- those particular glasses look bad on you. Please find a pair that looks cute bc those are hideous." -You look like you're made out of ketchup and mayonaise. -The title is exactly what your one night stands tell themselves when they settle for a desperate ginger. -You know all your getting from her is a bone dry hand job. Without finishing.  -You can tell a ginger virgin by the lack of freckles. Hasn’t managed to suck the soul from anyone yet. -Look like a character from Harry Potter -I just can't.... I gotta go get high now so I can't remember being here.... It just too much grats on your transitioning tho bro. -You look like you collect toenail clippings in jars -"""fuck it, why not"" exactly what she said when trying to register for only fans with the fake ID showing she's 18" -Those tiny Deadpool legs hahahahaha oh god -Time for leg day. -I think your a pretty woman!! -"get rid of the glasses. LASIK . not an insult,. but you'll be happier. - -i can tell by the refraction they aren't that strong" -"""Its not just a phase"" is a regular thing you say..." -You look like you would carve your crush’s name into your skin before ever talking to him. -Hair color is stunning. Face looks like you're permanently stunned. -Very pretty hair.wow -"She gives me Sansa Stark vibes from GOT, don't piss her off." -Beautiful 😳 -Hogwarts drop out. -Temu Sadie Sink -"No matter how terrible you think you look, there's always some guy out there who will bone you." -doesn't spit or swallow. saves. -18 going on 16. -I thought you needed to have a soul in order to be roasted... -You look like ReviewBrah's sister -"Just saw you're 18. Girl, yet yourself off this site. You are still a kid. There is nothing here that will benefit you. Let your self esteem grow before you get a bunch of L's to try n take it down. - -My roast for you is are you stupid? Putting yourself on here was fking dumb." -You look like if Lindsey Lohan and the sleep paralysis monster had a baby -"I bet you have like fifty boyfriends (or girlfriends? 🤷‍♂️- non of my business) but the point is .. you’re naturally a pretty girl so you got lucky there! - -Consider your skin tone when choosing clothes. You’re a fair skinned redhead who’s skinny so pick things like form fitting pants that taper to your waist - (that’ll really piss off the other girls) - buttoned sweater with cropped blouses. I dunno. You’re lucky kid. - -Don’t do drugs. Go easy on the store bought beverages. Don’t over caffeinate. And don’t wear RBF on purpose." -"No, I won't roast you... too young - -I'm not a meanie" -Who shrunk Greta Thunberg’s lips? -"Don’t, please don’t. You are a lovely young woman and will absolutely have no trouble finding people to share this life with. Some of these people here will absolutely try and hurt your feelings." -Your vacant stare is not helping banish the soulless ginger stereotype one bit. -"Asexual is more about other peoples’ views of you, not the other way around." -You look like luna lovegood and ginny weasly had a fuck child and it came out in the worst way possible. -Does review brah know he has a little sister? -Girl next door with a hot body. Your innocent looking face screams you are shy. Over all a very attractive girl whom we all would like to meet. -Your a hand job away from being cute -"Your definition of friendship is being free use for the bros, you get your abortions done on Saturdays because you're not allowed to carry anything. - -Your phrase when someone tell you a fact always begins with: Actually," -Mask 1985 without makeup. Idk how to post pictures -I wanna know how many of you ended up in her DM's. Lol. Ain't nothing wrong with her. -Cute ginger…. Just mess up your hair to look meaner -"The library called, -You should clock in at 8am." -You look like your one mental breakdown away from making porn -yo ass look like a albino tarantula off of 50 percocets -Eres preciosa pero nacer pelirroja te espera una vida de desgracias. -Yep you look so good baby x -You’re an Amish 2/10. -You are 100% the ugly friend that doesn't get invited to shit. -You look like you should be on a sex offender's list for women -"""Fuck it, why not"" is something you'll be hearing a lot as you grow up" -Title of your sex tape -I'd fuck the shit out of you... with the lights off. I bet you have some perky nipples too 🤷 -"You look like you’d lose your shit on anyone, over any trivial comment" -Day 3 of switching bodies with my sister.....they still havnt noticed. -Why not because you look like Conan O'Brien after his first days in altar boy for father mcfeely -Looking like bob the builder after he went trans. -Crawl back into that lake you emerged from. -Involuntary 4B member -If we roast you you're gonna look like a lobster with that pasty ass. -Your dad is Conan -It's odd how soulless is feel... -Bizarro Cousin Oliver -"Hey be nice, she does a great Trump on SNL." -"i think being ginger is bad enough, ill put you on a sunbed then you'll be so well roasted it could be considered well done" -Mudblood -If you post on amiugly more then once you already know the answer. -"She has the bitten off fingernails -Of a lesbian carpenter" -You look like the Hills have Eyes is a home video -"You know what guys feel like, because you get rejected as much as them." -"These are likely the photos the news article will use, while listing how long you kept those guys locked up after catch fishing them into the basement." -You are incrementally less attractive than a bowl of cold mashed potatoes. -Sansa Stank -Thanks for taking your helmet off for the pics -Blink. -ReportOfTheWeek food reviewer sister?? -There is no way you are 18…. -Are you Greta Thunburg? -Your first wank was to harry potter -It's Ginger and looks like Greta Thunberg....I'd go play in the road now and get it over and done with 👍 -"By the color of your hair, you already look roasted enough…" -You look like a haunting -She bears a striking resemblance to my sleep paralysis demon. -I bet you smell like a turtle aquarium. -"Every facial feature is disproportionate proportionate to the size of your head, it makes you look like a real life example of a caricature drawing…" -Barbara Streisand and Ron Howard’s love child that fell from ugly tree hitting every branch on way down. -"I am sure she has a high body count, by the I mean bodies buried in her backyard" -You look like you would make your partner wear a jesus themed chastity cage until you were married. -"‘Fuck it,why not’ is your only hope of ever losing your virginity" -Meg from Family Guy is your inspiration. -Ew ginger. -“You’ll get paid the same if you do as good a job” -"To whoever took the photos.: if ylu qre being held hostage, nod the camera vertically. If she has a gun, nod it sidewise." -Autistic? -You look at me like a aye-aye looks into the night -"Ginny weasley, available on wish" -"You look like you order from Starbucks a lot more than the average human being," -12 year olds shouldn’t be on reddit -Too bad you didnt post this BEFORE the election. Otherwise everyone would be Pro Abortion. -I bet your favorite Breaking Bad character is Skyler. -You look like some jailbait elementary schooler from Malcolm in the Middle -Snap into a slim ging! -The least favorite Weasley looking for attention again I see. -fukin daywalker -I feel pressured to insult you when youre looking at me like that😭🙏 -If transparent was a person. -"No one will ever know, or care, if the carpet matches the drapes." -Chin so weak it tries to hide -Please stop lying about your age before some poor dude goes to prison for child molestation -That's what the dad of the kid you babysit said to himself too. -Your ginger. -Ginger? If you had a soul we could meet in heaven sadly that isn't going to happen. -You have 5 missed calls from Walgreens. Your Abilify and Trazadone are both ready. -you look like you pay people to hangout with you -"Learn to smile more like in the lake pic, your resting bitch face is scary. In the final pic you have your foot turned in like you are embarrassed, surely not because of the flat stomach… must be the RBF, work on that and you will get as far in life as any ginger can." -Dumbledore granddaughter looking ass 🤣 -Temu version of Greta Thunberg... -You remind me of yogurt water -You wrote I love you to your invisible friend of 5 years. -"Hey, big fan. You were amazing as Ethel in monsters inc." -Your eyes scare me!!! -You look like you have the superpower of invisibility... but only at parties 😂😂 -You know its bad when your lawn is fake grass cuz your fire-crotch burnt the real stuff when you sit on it around a fire pit. -"“Fuck it…why not?!?” - -I bet a lot of drunk sailors say that before hooking up with you." -Is your name Neverly? -"“Fuck it, why not” get ready to hear that thrown in your direction a lot at 2am when I lights come on at the bar" -"Ironic because ‘Fuck it, why not’ were your parents most regretful last words as they decided to dismiss the abortion clinic option." -yet another possessed ginger -Life ambition is to be a Stepford Wife -You look like Greta Thunberg and Ron Weasley had a child and neither of them wanted visitation. -"Its Debbie Gallagher pre pregnancy, post pics in 6 months with the baby bump and missing baby daddy" -Glad you decided to cover your elf ears -You need SPF 3000 just to walk outside. -You look like an English teacher trying to be relevant -Let's not -"Single child, but still their least favorite. All your Christmas presents went straight to the orphanage." -"The title to your post is what 9/10 men will say to sleeping with you, but only 1 in 1000 will consider you for any relationship beyond f-buddy." -There’s someone out there ready to be your only fan. -"“Fuck it, why not” - -This is what your real dad said when your real mum asked if they should put you up for adoption." -That's what your daddy said when he met your momma -"What’s the difference between a calendar and you? -The calendar has dates" -The face of a psychopath. -Wiccan Wendy. -Haha girl! You’ve got the craziest look in your eyes -If sleep paralysis were a human. -You look like you sit alone at lunch -If I were a fish in a Pixar movie I would fear you. -If Eowyn and Gollum had a baby -Damn a basic ass white girl and have no soul -"Her future smells of desperation , loneliness , and cat piss . Forever Virgin" -Don't worry you may become more beautiful as you age. Don't count on it though. -Looks like Greta -You look like you got a twin sister you show up randomly with and ask people to play with yall -No need to roast you. God did that for us. -If your here who is your step father going to punch? -"You’re doing things people do in photos because they like them, but you have the cold, dead eyes of a lizard. I’d think you’re AI, but AI tries." -Remember… kick a ginger day is nov 20th -Based on her fourth picture I now truly believe gingers have no souls and will steal yours. -Hemorrhoid Granger -Same said the dude you lost your virginity to -Drugs are bad mmmmkkkk -Ginny Weasley? -Greta Gingerberg -"When you get married, that's what your husband will say instead of 'I do'" -Stop staring at me -You're what I like to call a 'challenging wank'. -Chris Hanson voice “take a seat” -Lay off the meth those bug eyes and forehead might implode  -"Thanks for the offer but I'm good, I'll pass" -"As a redhead, I’m offended that you made us all look at this." -"Careful Red, you’re so goddamn pale that you may end up in the burn unit with that camera flash." -Goes to a Kia dealership. Can’t buy a soul -You look like a st Jude patient who had the misfortune of getting a redhead wig -"You have no soul, I'm so sorry" -Does anyone else see a Skinwalker trying to blend in as a ginger Greta Thunberg? -How many people are you currently stalking? -You look like you turned down the opportunity to be molested -Are you wearing the underwear with the dick holes in em'? -You should stay away from churches especially the one in Salem -you look like you have no personality and believe in astrology -But how can someone with no soul stare into our souls? -BBC taker -Ginger -Those eyes are as dead as your sex life. -Ron Weasley had a sister that harry didn’t want huh -"Judging on your face, you just had a typo. 8 > 0" -Ginny measly -Looks like god already beat us to it. -Were you one of the meth babies from Breaking Bad? -"When people say some white people smell like wet dog, I think this is what they are talking about" -Your house looks nicer than you do -She needs more than just spf 50.. -When you get fired from only fans for not being of age. What the fuck is wrong with children? -"Quite the stunner, but I am a sucker for redheads/ strawberry blondes." -You look like you smell like milk. -I'd recommend chemotherapy -Roast you? That's the Sun's job. -What episode of Love on the Spectrum is this from? -18 in 6 years -Your favorite dessert is a coconut cream pie because it’s the only cream pie in your life. -Ik a red headed step child when I see one -"Sometimes women shit when they give birth, I bet your mother wishes she had taken home the shit instead" -Everyone watch out—autistic Merida wants a roasting. -"Not nearly as gross as some people on here, but that isn't saying much." -"Which is what your hoping the guy you were dancing with when the lights came on is thinking. He's not drunk enough, trust me." -Ginger Greta Thunberg -If crazy eyes was a person with a flat ass. Adding ginger to it is just terrifying honestly. -"with a big ahh forehead like that, I'm surprised you got through the doorway." -Your title is the same thing every guy you've been with said -"We should manipulate the Google algorithm so that these pictures come up whenever someone Googles ""Unfuckable,"" or ""Virgin.""" -Good to see you escaped the Villages of the Dammed. -"Eyes filled with the anger of 10,000 men, because every man she meets suddenly turns gay" -Ih8u -Sadonna -"Bad dragon called, they're still making a mold big enough for your next toy." -Max from. Stranger things do a kick flip;not going to lie your kinda hot tho lol 😭 -Asexuality is a good cover when nobody wants to fuck you in the first place. -Not going to roast you on account of your telekinetic abilities. Have a nice day miss. -"Etsy Ginny Weasley, your glasses were probably a 5 minute craft video" -comment -Beer goggles slowly wearing off through the photos -How to lose a guy in 6 pictures. -"""body by depression""" -It's supposed to be the freshman 15 not the freshman 50 -What the hell happened to the girl in the first 2 photos? Did the girl in the last few fucking eat her? -Started off half decent. What the hell happened? -What’s that first job? Taste testing lard? -Those fishnets makes your legs look like two pieces of ham -Benjamin Button meets Stephen Kings Thinner -What happened? You went from elegant to elephant -Hopefully your job is at the gym -You could’ve been the body double for Oswald Cobblepot. -"When cosmologists say everything in the universe is expanding, they apparently meant EVERYTHING." -I’m assuming you ate the girl in the first pic? -"You know, a lot of people mocking you for gaining weight, I'm assuming you lost it all, and I ***want*** to congratulate you because what you did is impressive and it ***should*** be recognized. - -You're just...still so fucking bland. A flavorless snow cone. But hey, you're a healthy flavorless snow cone that will be alone for a long, long life! So congrats!" -And by year 4 couldn't afford the meal plan! -All that extra weight and still no tits? -"The real roast is on me, because I can never un-see you in fishnet tights 😭🤮" -Would you like to supersize your order? -Good job losing the weight. Have you considered losing the face? -This is what happens when women like pizza more than they like dick -"Congrats on your $25,000 a year job that you paid $$324,000 to get." -Did you attempted to cosplay Patrick the star in the fifth picture ? -Loudest mouth in the friendship group -You have the fashion sense of SpongeBob and the body of Patrick. -You probably smile at funerals -Pet food taster? You look like you have a lot of experience. -I don’t think competitive eating competitions count as a job. -Did the new job require 75 pounds of experience? -"What’s the opposite of Ozempic? Whatever it is, that’s what you’re on." -"Somehow, you've made mom jeans look even worse." -"For God’s sake, give people a warning before pic 5." -"First job? Let me guess, fluffer?" -Depression is real! -r/femalefittofat -You should get rid of all your friends. You don’t look good with that extra 150 pounds. -"They’re called fishnets, not whalenets." -It's a doll inside a doll inside a doll inside a doll inside a doll -I'm sure you will fly up the ranks as whore to bottom bitch. -Freshman 500…..🤢 -You're what is called a moped girl. It's fun to ride until your friends see. -"Damn, you took that freshman 15 and just kept adding to it." -"Freshman 15, sophomore 30, etc." -"You’ve got a lot of gut, posting these pictures" -Only 4 year degree? Which corner you working? -"You put on the freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior 15." -I thought this was finally a good submission to r/amiuglybrutallyhonest -"The Ad below your picture on Reddit was for Hims... Designed to help with erectile dysfunction. - -Enough said." -Has the curves of a potato -So the girl from photos 3-6 ate the girl from photos 1 & 2? -Obviously food wasn’t compromised in your budget during school. Now maybe time for a gym membership. -I wish you all the luck with your new career as a dairy cow. -There will be another pic at the end but she's waiting for a NASA satellite to come into geo synchronous orbit to capture her entirety. -Did you get knocked up? -I’m sorry. If I had known swiping right would add 10pounds I would’ve stopped on the 1st pic -Are you gonna wear those FUPA jeans to your first day? -Let this be a warning to any guy thinking about marriage: In just a few years your girlfriend could go full beluga. -You look like yo chin stank🤔 -"didn't know ""the camera adds 10 pounds"" would stack" -"Picture 5: All that jelly, no toast" -This here is exactly why we go through all photos on Tinder before swiping right. -She’s like a reverse advertisement for Ozempic -Fatgirl slim -Freshman 50. Winnie the Pooh looks better. Friend in grey shirt looks better. -There are like 7 different people in these photos. -Was getting fat a requisite? -Cant hate.Glow up goes hard ngl -The pics are like a set of russian dolls. -"went from academic girl living the american dream to rotund leftist. how tf are you 22 and have a beer belly??? you ain't got SHIT on santa claus. additionally, yo eyelids so puffy they look like pussy lips. i bet you would need to take the circumference of 22 of your arms to even come close to the circumference of your stomach. you look like you write homosexual sonic the hedgehog fanfiction." -how do you get bigger each picture -"I was going to advise you to try sleeping your way to the top, but then I scrolled through the rest of your photos and I can't see it working for you" -The Freshman 50 is real -"Rapid weight gain is a usual side effect from taking the morning after pill like tic tacs. - - -Maybe try taking the load to the face next time." -So this is how Pooh met a Heffalump. -"You’re a Chinese spy, your photo of you with Xi Xinping is proof." -"Your body is proof that God doesn't exist. If he did, he wouldn't have cursed you with that thing. " -"Nah guys. I believe that the photo slide is in reverse. Let’s hope! You definitely went from smash to pass.! -She’s been exiled from her family’s Thanksgiving!" -Roasted pork for the whole village -I’d hate to see her in for more years. She already developing in to an ok strawberry. -You took your Cetology degree a little to seriosly -reminds of wide putin but wider -Scrolling through the pictures like ‘whoa what happened’  -"Wow you really started swelling up.... -So much for the freshman 15... Looks like you went with the graduating 95...." -In picture number five if those fishnet stretch anymore they're going to cut somebody's head off if they pop -And picture number four I see what happens you turned into a furry and you wanted to dress up like Winnie the Pooh.... Now that extra 170 lb makes sense -"I was going to make a joke about your first job being on the pole, but then I scrolled through the pics and said, ""DAYUM! I don't think they make poles that sturdy.""" -At least you learned that it wasn’t the weight that made you unappealing. -"Hey siri, draw me a picture of shapes." -You look ugly and pregnant through all four seasons. -"Finishing undergrad = gets fat -Cant wait to see gorlock when u start working" -"At first I was like wow she's kinda hot. -Now I will Be skipping breakfast." -Weeks until she’s on the news for kissing a student. $20 on that! -22 to 32 awfully quick… -"Not sure a fluffier at the local gloryhole counts as a job, but congrats I guess." -Photo 6 is a fucking crime scene -New tank for Ukraine -I'll have an iced caramel macchiato -The freshman 115 got her! -Damn girl. Just because you got a job in a restaurant doesn't mean you have to eat all the food -First pics on dating profile. Show up to date and tubby flapjack in the last pic is there -Congratulations on your McDonalds French fry station position... try not to eat all the profits. -"Went from slammin body and butter face, to face slammin butter." -Looks like you’re already married to your job since you’ve completely let yourself go -Did they open a Krispy Kreme by your house or something? -You look as though you will swallow more than your pride in relationships. -It’s the freshman 15 not the 4 year 50 -You make Winnie the Poo look skinny. -I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. BOOM! roasted! -"From undergrad to under your boss for a promotion. - -We know you can't be over, because you'd cripple him." -Look at that. All shiny and new. So much excitement! Now go get the boss his coffee -After the freshman 15 I guess you gain the senior 750. -Is this penultimate picture you making a Patrick cosplay? -You better wear a reflective vest at all times. Wouldn’t want a hunter thinking there’s a moose on the loose in the Krystal’s parking lot. -"It's supposed to be the freshman 15, not 150." -How's the maturnity leave -Was your first job to be the Taco Bell mouth disposable. Holy crab from cute to 380 in the blink of eye -Future ozempic user -Undergrad is that under pressure gradually eating her before the rot set in -College was not nice to you. Did you eat your way through every class? -"It's like a glow up, but it's pronounced 'blow up'" -You are not 22 years old..more like 36 -Ozempic -"No sugar in my coffee, thanks" -Damn i see like 6 different girl. Are you some clone or what is wrong with you. You look like npc from videogame. -Your photos are like a kids helium balloon over the course of a week -This photo sequence is like a before/after photo had 3 sequels that got increasingly worse. Like hellraiser. -You’re father loves you -When’s your first shift at the strip club? -Congratulations on the weight loss. You're still ugly as refried sin. -Honey I blew up the girl. -Those are not fishnet stockings in pic 5. More like manatee net stockings -Undergrad in competitive eating huh? -Tinder profile pic vs. actual pics. -Little chunky for a 4th year now aren’t we. -Is your first job as one of the exhibits at the zoo? -Your nick beam is Gummi bear -I love this new winnie the poo trailer. The new CGI is crazy realistic. -"Damn, girl, you got FAT!!! - -I assume that first job is gonna be as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade float." -Smile less Mr Ed -Swiping right is like watching a Pretty Duckling cartoon. -what the fuck happened lmao -This is definitely not Patrick -Did you have a twin and happen to eat her? -How were you that fat and still had no titties? That's a crime to society -Undergrad from fat u? -Live action Patrick! Where’s SpongeBob? -You look 32 -Each proceeding pic ate the girl before -"What happened between the 1st and the last pic? McDonald's 5 XXL meals a day, 7 days per week?" -"Next time we see, you will be on the news after sending nudes to kids in your class." -I am sorry you are that fat and don't have the redeeming factor of nice big breast. It is a cruel twist of fate to look like a boiled peeled potato no matter what you wear and a bland personality to match. -"You have never bought a weight scale in your life, only a body positivity meter, and you're trying to hit the high score." -You must have a great personality -5/6 yikes! -Everytime i swiped the images took longer to load -"You look like you would probably benefit from a stronger deodorant, regardless of what you use now….👃🏽👀?" -Winnie the Pooh lookalike -Each picture you gain 50lbs. -Like a tinder profile. First pic makes you look alright but as you swipe you just get fatter and fatter. -How unique another college girl with an ED. -You must have a good personality. -"Dang, thank the Lord you are graduating no more dorm food. Domino's is gonna miss the cash influx" -"Dang, thank the Lord you are graduating no more dorm food. Domino's is gonna miss the cash influx" -"How is it you put on at least 100 pounds in those pics, and your tits seem to deflate? Good job." -If Patrick Star was a girl.. -What’s the job? Taking up the family business running the Hutt clan? -Well at least no one will ever be able to say you slept your way to the top. -"Took that ""freshman 15"" and ran with it. Well obviously not ran with it but took it too far" -"Get on a treadmill, Pudge." -"Just because you've decided to start an only fans doesn't mean you actually have a job. You need to be successful first, not Patrick star." -"First two photos are what you get on a dating profile, last 4 are what actually show up." -A desperate handjob at a Magic the Gathering convention does not make it a career -Dammm you got huge!!!!! -"Depending on the order of those photos, you didn't major in nutrition or physical education OR you transferred to Ozempic State for your last year." -"Just because stressed spelled backward is desserts, doesn't mean you need to eat them every day." -Last pictures has more chins than chinatown -"Fat AF with no tits, 100% worthless." -I just came here to read the comments about your… umm… progress. -Jesus what is that 5th picture. -Where did you buy the red waist coat -" pregnant in college, oh wait no…." -You’re twice the amount of the same girl than I saw the first two phtotos -Jesus. Your new work colleagues will be hiding all the biscuits. -"Guys, don't roast her, she's already got enough on her plate." -Damn. Homegirl got on that OLDzempic. -This isn't tinder no need to try to trick us with the first two photos. -I had such high hopes while scrolling past first two photos. -Hope you like skinny black guys -"Blood tests show that she's *not* pregnant, but her blood type is Ragù" -Is that the grad in pic 4 that you graduated under? -"Tinder profile reads “last picture is most recent” but because you didn’t read the profile and swiped on the first pic, you now have to ghost her." -Was your undergrad school a Naval academy specializing in Gravy boats? -Congratulations! Are you having a boy or a girl? You pick out any names yet? -So sleeping your way to the top might not be an option. Plan B? -You are literally what's all wrong with you. -Jabba the Slut -Permanently pregnant -What was your major? Calories? -"It keeps getting worse the more you swipe to the next photo, would have never guessed she was 22 I thought she was in her 40s" -College must've been roooouuuuugggghhhhh -That’s the smile of a person who would think that crop was good idea while she tucked her stomach skin into highwaisted jeans. -"What was you studying, stuffing your face with food?" -You became more American as the pictures continued. -Aww. When is the baby due? -Did you eat the person who had the job before you? -"Damn girl, The freshman 15 means gaining 15 pounds, not eating 15 freshmen." -You at least look 30. -She looks like the before picture in a weight loss commercial. -Ah. Another fatty on tinder using fakes -...omg freshman 150 -"Don’t mind me, I’m just here for the roast." -you're fat as fuck -Damn she big. -Retrogressionpics should be a sub -Move more -"Marshmallow man, more like marshmallow woman" -You’re so far that you look like you just lay there and take it. -Your weight loss is amazing. How did your teeth get so much bigger though? You look like you could bite through a pineapple -"My wife thanks you for posting the fishnet pic, I won't be bothering her for sex for quite a while now." -Someone was offered the Freshman 15 but said “Double it and give it to the next person.” That next person was you. -4th year and still looks like jail bait -You look like you’re way too passionate about a topic no one asked about -I assume your Bachelor's Degree isn't in Nutrition... -Is the job at big n large? -Wow you cloned urself for the 4th pic 🤯🤯🤯🤯 -"For anyone wondering what happened to this girl.. - -Feminist brainrot happened. - -The single most destructive things to a young woman are the woke mind virus and feminism. - -It literally makes them insane, weird, and unattractive" -Did your camera switch to wide lens? -As a Corndog quality control officer. -Exactly the reason why the “No fat chicks” sticker is still necessary -Freshman 15? More like freshman 150 -More like catch 22 -"I refuse to believe those are all of the same girl, scrolling through is like watching a weight loss commercial in reverse" -Reddit put the ozempic add right below your post…. -"“Hey does this shirt make me look fat?” -No your fat makes you look fat." -"She graduated ""Magna""" -"Winnie the Foopah. - -The one picture of the whale still stuck in the fishnet seems counterproductive but colorful." -Jesus you let yourself go must be a good degree bc you definitely aren’t going to be dependent on a man….there won’t be one -Did you go to hogwarts or is this your senior year? -I thought Sea World stopped keeping whales in captivity? -"I know Winnie the Pooh, but who’s on the right?" -congrats about that -Yay another Starbucks barista! -"Madam, this is Roast Me, not Fit to Fat." -Congratulations landing the role of penguin in the new Batman movie -Congrats being in debt for the rest of your life to work at Wendy's. -Fifth pic wasn't warranted.. -Don’t marry your job. It’s already looking for someone better. -You should start “dieting and exercising” before you start your job. You didn’t gain the freshmen 50 you gained the freshmen 500. -Ah yes. The freshman 150 -The female Patrick (from SpongeBob) -That’s the look of a fourth grade reading level if I’ve ever seen one -your twin brother is so cute in pic 4! -Even Winnie the Pooh feeling slim standing next to you. -No worries about you being sexually harrassed at your job. -Biblically accurate Patrick star -Congratulation in graduating frm Fatass University. -You can till you went from normal to straight liberal in those pictures. How many protests have you been to or organized? -22F 9 months pregnant -What have you been studying… the menu?! -OnlyFan isn't a real job but kudos on the weight loss... unless the fat photos are the new photos then I'm hoping the new job isn't at the Cheesecake Factory. -Success doesn't come easy. Sometimes you gotta give a lil' head to get ahead in this world. Just pretend your new boss is your step dad and do what you do best ✌️ -Winnie the Pooh and... Winnie the Pooh -Was the Ozempic digging into your clothing budget? -Is this what happens when you get off of Ozempic?! -The timeline of Oprah. -The more I swiped the more my mouth filled with vomit 🤢 -What the fuck happened -Girl went from smash to pass by picture 3 -"You gained 20lbs every time I swiped right - -This is not an attempt at a roast, just a plain observation" -"This is like a reverse of ""brand new me""" -Body not by ozempic -My advice to you is to go on a diet so you can level back up to being a 3/10 -The Patrick costume is fitting -"Are you going to be one of these ""fit"" people I see working at Planet Fitness?" -Ya know the old saying about being a “ten at two but a two at ten?” This does not apply when you’re just a zero all around. -"For most people, the camera adds 5 lbs. For you it's clearly per photograph. That looked like a flick book of a dough rising." -"Fuck, did we go downhill, 1/6th at a time." -"Congrats on the new job, Graduation,and the weight loss😊" -Oh come on man. There’s nothing to roast… Just sayin… -"Obesity is the new norm. I don’t think it’s overeating but rather the horrible ingredients they put in our foods combined with all the prescriptions they make everyone take. Men and women alike look nothing like they did in the 50’s. Tattoos, piercings and dyed hair are commonplace yet people say they get them to be unique. Nothing unique about it. What’s unique is finding anyone without piercings, tattoos, weird hair or morbidly obese bmi" -You look like the girl at parties that has to make sure she's the noisiest and 'most fun' one to compensate in the looks department -First job as a fluffer. -It looks like first year took a bat to you and then you ate said bat. -You are proof that bullying works! -I see in the time since your graduation all you’ve done is eat. I admire your dedication -"By any chance, is your first job groundskeeping at Hogwarts?" -Did you ate your classroom? -Did you study the caloric density of food for four years? -Gorda with a Fupa . -Gross -I see we’re using the “F” liberally. -A the rate the pictures are degrading the next one will probably look like Mama June. -Welcome to the never ending pain train -Her next job is pregnancy -"Blowjob does not count as job, right ?" -Hot girl confidence but… well.. -Looks like the type of girl that gets drunk as fuck at the bar till someone finally takes her home and she let's them fuck her in the ass with her jergens lotion as lube -Are you pregnant in the last three photos? -Nozempic -I see we’ve discovered ozempic… -Would it be inappropriate to ask if she had boy or girl? -"I can’t tell if you’re 25, 35, or 45" -22 going on 42. -Boyfriend broke up with you around slide 4 -It looks like the girl in the last four pictures are the girl in the first two. -Got a job so you can afford all the donuts you've ever wanted -Can’t afford a gym pass with those student loans I see -I really like that Real life AI filter of the striper Patrick Star pic. -Largest shareholder of ozempic -You clearly know mayonnaise isn’t an instrument -This fat at 22? Damn. You are at the easiest age to be healthy. -"You look like a Russian doll, each piece contained by the next picture." -Don’t go for the MRS degree… -Who are you? The pretty dumb face girl of the two first pics or the fat lazy morbid obese from the other pics? -Freshman 15 is real folks -Jesus Christ you got fat as fuck -Once her girl friends started eating her pussy she stopped caring about looking good for the boys -Dating Profile pics vs reality. -Have you been pregnant your entire life? -Good for you! I heard Starbucks has great benefits! -Looks like about ten Freshman 15s ran a train on you at a frat party -She looks like a pansexual Patrick Star in the 5th one. Spongebob wouldn’t even smash that. -Who is the chick in the hat beside you on the 4th photo -what happened? -Human egg. -Freshman 50² -Freshman 15 gone wild! -Crop tops are a privilege not a right -You go to school in Indianapolis? You seem to have done the Indy 500 instead of the Freshman 15 -Before/after or after/before pics? -"Tell me, what does plankton taste like?" -22 and getting your first job? Talk about spoiled… I wonder how much daddy is paying for your undergrad. Must be nice. -comment -The first of its kind….a fusion of an OSHA safety video and gay porn movie. -The kids from South Park are all grown up. -The Three Spooges -Didn't the Village People use to all wear different costumes? -"Pull the air hose out of Simon Pegg’s ass, he’s about to explode!" -Post a pic of some real men and I'll let you know -Brave words coming from a bunch of skidmarks that haven't pleased a woman since they moved out of their mom's house. -Ironic that it's literally a photo of 2 incels and one kneckbeard. The cup must be out of frame. -Are the real men off camera? -We'll tell you when we see some. -"Bet you dudes split the cost of a hooker, don’t you?" -No roast needed.... Back to work boys! -I'd be surprised if there are 32 teeth between the three of you -Are the real men in the room with us right now? -While you’re taking selfies your wives are home getting banged by their brothers -"Going left to right. - -Chap 1 hasn't seen his penis in 5 years. Cops keep insisting they can't just stick a photo of it on a milk carton. - -Chap 2 pees with his trousers all the way down around his ankles. - -Chap 3 likes to watch Chap 2 sleep with his wife. Sometimes he sits in the corner, and sometimes he webcams it and does a crywank in the drivers seat of his Toyota Camry" -Oil patch chip’N’ dales -The Feastie Boys -"3 tradesmen that idolize and worship the Gay Steelmill simpsons episode……..because it was a documentary to them. - -I see an apprentice with a beard who thinks it makes him look like a journeyman. A journeyman who works 80hrs a week to support his 2 ex wives. Then there’s the welder who only comes out of his welding area when a vendor brings in doughnuts…..then takes all the doughnuts back to his welder cave and hibernates until its time to go home." -Nothing says sexual dysfunction like the two dildos on the right and impending heart attack on the left. -Y'all look like you date in the family and vote against your own best interests lol -Weirdest threesome ever -Your parents all change the subject when their friends ask about you. -Is it fun to stay at the YMCA? -"I see 3.5 men, rofl" -Y’all look like magnified sperm cells after being pooped out of some poor gal’s butthole. -Imagine doing a job that only the ugliest and dumbest of all people would ever do because they’re too ugly and dumb to get hired doing literally anything else and then calling yourself real men because of it 😂 -"The funniest thing about this, you all look like grown ass special ed kids with the incel dial turned up to 11 💀 - -And you're all about as ""masculine"" as a yeasty queef." -The Foul Monty -"Real men, who don't wipe themselves after they shit." -Didn’t realize there were so many calories in 7018 smoke. -I wonder how long it takes you guys to finish a project if it takes all 3 of you just to hold a sign -I don’t know about the two on the right but that’s Fat Bastard on the left returning to the real world after having spent his royalties from the Austin Powers films. -"We work hard, we play hard. - -*cue the music*" -Real men? All I see is two virgins and a guy going through a messy divorce -What happens in the mines stays in the mines eh? -"Hard hats, limp bizkits" -"The butcher, the baker, the in-the-butt-taker." -"""Lets see what you incels and neck beards think about some incels and neck beards""" -"Old neck folds to the left has definitely tipped his welding mask and said milady, the middle boy looks like a sexual harassing disappointment to his father that didn't want this apprenticeship but was forced to do it. And the guy on the right I have 100% seen on a night out begging people for a fag. What I'm trying to say is you all look like the type of people that make women uncomfortable." -"Oh I’d love to comment on some real men! I’ll be patiently waiting for THAT picture. - -Please mark this one NSFW, I was eating when I opened Reddit." -Low IQ employees doing what robots can do except with more bitching and moaning and will probably suffer from disability in 5 years want to call themselves “real men”……. You may or may not be an incel but your wives definitely dont get wet when they see you -What men? -I think the one guy ate the fourth guy. You know the one I'm talking about. -real men? only one of you dosnt have tits... -Craftsman butt plugs and invisible soap are the winning stocking stuffers for these boys. -I can smell the semen and stale cigarette smoke just by looking at this picture -I'm guessing there's about seven divorces between you three.  -"Looks like the local amateur drama squad playing dressup as workers. Orange looks like he spends his 8 hour shift on a lunch break. Middle is IT nerd amateur actor and sometime furry, Blue jacket seems like he watched too many Clint eastwood movies with his pulled face." -The piglet on the far left is a neckbeard.......irony. -Which offshore rig y’all plowing each other on? -"The Butcher, the Baker and the Gay Porn Creator" -"Damn, I didn’t know the gay orgy pile from South Park was a real thing, but you guys have proved me wrong!" -I'm not judging what you real men do in the showers with each other after work. Is it called a triangle jerk if it's just three dudes? -"The hills have eyes ,run !" -"Mouth breathers, all three of em" -Guy on the right has a lip full of cum probably given to him by the middle guy while the left guy watched -There are 7 domestic abuse charges in this one picture alone -"I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you guys don’t know what “incel” means, because you three look to be the very definition of the word" -Are the real men in the room with us? Hiding behind the neckbeards in the pics maybe? -"real men, where?" -"Guys, the Village People were all perverts. Try again." -I guarantee dude on the left is the one stealing everybody's lunches... -Post a picture when you fellas have finished welding them together. -and they’re all 19 -How much for the little girl? I want to buy the little girl. -Walmart version of the three stooges -"From left to right : guy 1 : visible neck beard, guy 2: needs to borrow a chin from his buddy on the left, guy 3 could be possibly be married but has never made his wife have an orgasm - -All three of you will complain about your boss and your wages for the rest of your lives but won’t actually do anything about it" -Bet you guys drink Busch beer -You all look like you smell like piss. -Yeah- you guys are studs. I'm sure you crush the pussy. Especially the Irish Pillsbury dough boy on the left. -I think the incels and neck beards have found their ancestral line. You can’t even wear PPE correctly. -Man these janitors are getting brave these days. -The three stooges reboot -"Literally a neck beard to the left in this photo of “real men”. Maybe pick a better insult. -Define a “real man”? Is it self proclaimed? Sounds more like a statement to me than a fact. Does it mean you have a dick and balls? Ok. Prove it. For all we know. You all have giant pussies. Neck beard there has a couple juicy tits. So again. Kindly define “real men”. -And don’t default to some lame political stance. What are you getting at? Hold the door open for ladies? Drive a truck? Drink Mountain Dew? Work a job you hate because “suck it up”. All emotion set to anger? Testosterone at 11? What. Exactly. Does. This. Stupid. Fucking. Statement. Mean? All men, are real men. There isn’t tiers or variations." -"Curly got fatter, Moe grew facial hair, and Larry… well, Larry’s still squirrelly lookin!" -The 3 Stooges -Holy shit it’s the three stooges! -"Real men? Because you get home dirty and smelling like ass every night? From the looks of you three I would bet money not ONE of you could get an erection on-demand. And if you do get regular sex either you're married to a woman you haven't been attracted to in 10 years, you pay for the sex OR some young girl is playing you for money. - - -I sit in an office in a financial district and likely make 30k or 40k more than you dumbasses. And I can make women cum. But......go ahead......call me incel as a cope." -All I see is the three Stooges -One on the left looks like he may eat the others eventually. -Ghostbusters?? -The Village People are back?????? -I think I know which one is stealing all the lunches -You look like incels and neck beard people -These are the kids who would shit on your highschool bathroom floor because they didn't know what a toilet was. -". . . Dude, they're one shift away from unpaid leave & cardiac arrest. Especially buddy on the left. - -I bet you guys dont even get worker's comp. Lol" -Are the real men standing behind the dirty smelly fat guys? -"Alright, where are these ""real men?""" -"I work in a factory too. One of you lives in your moms basement, one makes racist jokes and think he’s funny as fuck and one carries burgers in his pockets. I’ll never tell which one" -Child trade predators -Trio of sex offenders -Yall look like your taints stink even after you shower -"Guy on the left secretly cries at home from all the fat bullying at work, because he's not allowed to show emotion around the other ""real men"" at work" -They look like that shitty band from your hometown high school that are still looking for their first big break living in their parents basements. -The biggest insult I can dole out is that: you just know they are trump supporters that have BOTH an American flag AND a confederate flag on their 1992 pickup and don’t realize the hypocrisy and instead think they are double patriotic -"I can already tell where these guys were on January 6, 2021." -Not being an incel while simultaneously being the most unfuckable three men on the planet must be a mighty hard task -3 divorced (fat ex-wives)- Alcoholic - 'real men' -"Hardhat: check - - -Eye protection: check - - -Gloves: check - - -High viz: one out of three will survive, the other two will die from a bad case of dirty laundry - - -Hearing protection: WHAT DID YOU SAY" -"Why are you real men? Because you're fat, disgusting looking and grimy? Shut up, no one cares about your shitty paying jobs and back problems." -"It takes three guys to hold that wood. Oh shit, that’s the name of this porn isn’t it?" -"These real men know ""The best minds don't go to college. Because if you can figure out how to repair a broken machine, you can pretty much figure out anything else in life. That's why we support Donald Trump 2024. Take that, Internet neckbeards.""" -You all look like you would argue that the female orgasm is a myth -"Let’s play “See if I can guess the trade”. From left to right we have; marshmallow eaters union, apprentice for ten years union, and a fucking sparky— the worst of them all… how’d I’d do?" -It looks like a time lapse from left to right showing the effects of using meth to go to work everyday -"Porkins, stay on target!" -Dirty Mike and the boys -"Man, the Ghostbusters got old." -"Sure, where are they?" -"“Hi! I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl.”" -"Calling yourself a real man is a surefire way to let everyone know that you leave your girl drier than the Sahara desert, and less satisfied than a castrated Nun." -I see a minimum of 5 DUI's and 4 Domestic assaults in this picture. -The guy on the left looks like a Brittany or Melissa.  -"It’s literally Ed, Edd and Eddy" -"Larry, Mo and Curly!" -All three of you look like your OSHA registered and Meghans Law registered. Jesus Christ. -"They're banging, no doubt." -"Cartman, Stan, and Kyle had to grow up and get real jobs huh?" -"There were 5 guys in this photo shoot at first, but the guy on the left ate two of them." -Why is there only 1 oompa loompa in orange? -"Your wives are fat, ugly pigs." -"Sure, that sounds like fun. Do you know any?" -You can almost smell the gas station hotdogs for lunch. -Apparently real men don’t have jawlines. -Being chubby and dirty doesn't make you a real man -"According to this picture, 2 out of 3 redditors are neckbeards" -" -Dude on the left needs to lay off the Mickey D’s and Taco Bell - -Dude in the middle needs to lay off the porn and video games - -Dude on the right is behind on child support" -"If you guys were a boy band, your biggest hit would be ""Syncing Heartbeats to Power Tools.""" -What a cute thrupple. -First three on the layoff list -Porkins? -"I'll take closet cases for $500, Alex." -The cast of Hostel -Who's the incel that wrote the caption? -TIL it takes three “real men” to hold a sign. -Real men would be holding an uncut length of plate steel. -"Let me guess, all three of you are wearing panties and bras under those ""Real Men"" clothes, right? - -The only real fabricator in this picture is the one who stole that welder's soapstone to write on that steel - fabricated this whole scene. Right after this picture, you all picked up your clipboards and started whinging about lockout-tagout compliance, eh?" -Real men don't need any safety gear -"Barely, No, and Burly" -Since when did Kenny start construction? -Average non-unionized Elon Musk defenders who call themselves capitalists… -Are you here because the canary in the closet died? -Which one of you is fucking the fat guy? -Bob the builder & co 🔞 -"Let's see...sneezey, dopey and grumpy. Where are the other 4?" -Lolol thanks for the laugh. -MERICA -Safety gear is to avoid paper cuts in the office isn't it? -You may wear TIG gloves but use are no TIG welders dressed like that. State of them Carhartt’s you scruffy twat -Looks like a scene of Cuckboys 24. -"I too, did community theater at your age." -I see two neckbeards in-process in the picture. -Ace Venchurros on the left there -"Oh... i seen this video before, three dudes one shop! Gross!" -Dude in orange is literally an orange. -"It's almost hard to tell who the bottom is. -(But that little smirk gives it away.)" -Larry curly and moe -Says the neck bearded incels -Hey there! -You'll need to show us some real men so we can comment. -It’s the crackhead oompa loompahs -Real men ought to have a woman in their lives that isn't their mother. Projecting a bit with Incel... -Are the real men standing behind those barely human slouches? Where are they? -A solid combined IQ of 47 -We would but the guy on the left ate them all. -Where are the real men? -"Shemp, Moe and Larry….3 stooges" -"They'll be pig roasting their buddy after ""a hard day's work""." -Speaking of neck beards... -You spend so long on that rig that the real roasting done on 'squeal piggy' boy on the left there. Didnt know they had rednecks in the oil industry but if you good ole boys arent reenacting Deliverance every Sunday ill eat my banjo. -It's not nice to post a picture of three of your co-workers and call them incels and neck beards. -"""real men"" who put down the burgers in the lunch room just before this picture. - -Good that you dirtied yourself up so your boss doesn't suspect that it's you guys who ate all the cake while the others were working. - -If you can stay this fat your job probably ain't that physical." -Men? Why does it take 3 of you to hold the sign? -Dude on the left literally has a neck beard. Lmao -"If these are real men, I'm proud to be neckbeard" -"And they’re all wearing ostrich skin boots. - -GTFOH." -3 Dudes 1 roast! -We’re going to find out they drink Bud Light? -Who's turn is it to be in the wooden barrel with the knothole in it? -"Ok, when are the real fellas showing up? I just see three gays in cosplay" -"You all look like you're in a shitty folk-rock cover band called ""Plumpford and Sons."" Which one of you plays the washboard?" -"Dude on left seems like he got roasted enough as a kid. - -The guy in the middle acts like tough shit but is really just an asshole. - -Dude on right has similar personality to middle guy but add in a disappointment of a son/daughter" -Depending on if you read from the left or the right….. you are either evolving or devolving and the guy in the middle is doomed to always being the average one -A cheap copy of Village People for ugly blokes. -Says the incel and neckbeards -I can smell you guys from here… gross 🤮 -Run-D.M.C. if Donald Trump were the president. -a hidden threesome at its… worst -"From left to right. - -Fat Ed Sheeran - -Derek from veritasium but without college degree, talent and dumb as a box of hair - -Has a massive crush on Derek on the left and fights himself over him getting older and not being able to be who he really is currently living a horrid lie with a fat woman and kids." -Broke back mountain welding school -"Alright, show me some and I'll roast them." -Real men would never choose to be a Welder -"Put the pumpkin and hobo costumes away, too early for Halloween." -Sorry it appears there was a mirror in front of you -From left to right. Lethally high cholesterol means he won’t be with us for much longer. Dude in the middle has a meetup with Chris Hansen in his future for sure. Guy on the right absolutely has warrants and has used the “it was an open hand” defense in a domestic dispute case at least once. Every one of them lives in a house that has wheels and has at least car that doesn’t in the yard. -Real men? Looks like three boilerfakers to me hahaha -They just shovel each-others coal. -YMCA -"$700 bucks a day, free room and board and still broke AF." -Guy on the left is 100% hiding some pots of gold -Autistic Mike Rowe and his brothers. -Were you guys spelunking in each other’s assholes? -Do you guys all have We the People stickers on your lofted rusted out trucks or do you mix it up with Ttump 2024 and Blue Lives Matter -Real men don't wear that much PPE. -🎶 *IT’S RAINING MEN HALLELUJAH IT’S RAINING MEN AMEN* 🎵  -"The guy in the orange wife cheats on him with the guy in the middle. The guy in the middle is hatching a plan with the wife of the guy in the orange to have an “accident” happen. The guy on the right spends all his money on lottery tickets, online porn sites and begs his EX wife to stop dating black and spanish guys because it makes him insecure. They all drive pickup trucks, eat bologna sandwiches with mustard and go fishing but never catch anything." -New season of trailer park boys dropping soon? -"And this kids, is the perfect example of what we call ""projection""" -James Corden dressed up like famous x-wing pilot Porkins -"Alright, have your wives' send you pictures of the guys they're with while you're at work and we'll let you know. Or links to the amateur stuff they upload to Pornhub, either way." -A race to see who goes on “worker’s” comp first due to some boneheaded move by the other two. -"I have seen an exact copy of each of you at every steel shop I have ever worked at. - -Big guy looks like he drives forklift all day and embraces the ""forklift certified"" memes to a cringe degree. Probably has ""fish fear me, women want me"" posted on the back of his dodge - -The dude in the middle looks like a default character. I have seen 7 or more of you just driving around today to different construction sites. - -Guy on the right needs to quit smoking and drinking monsters for lunch. If he looks like this at 25, I can't imagine how ugly that MF is gonna be by retirement." -"I see three guys that got wet spots from tugging their balls all day. -Haven't changed their clothes in three months, and all wearing white bitch mittens." -Let us all know when they show up. -"The one on the right looks like the guy who definitely has a black belt in every martial art, took on 23 bouncers and fucked 6 pornstars. - -The one on the left looks dumb enough to believe him. - -Middle is 100% health and safety officer material." -Neck beard? He's the one in orange! -"The dirtbags of Christmas past, present, and future" -"Iron workers, eh? Low IQ/High cocaine. Looks like dude on the left administers the piss test by mouth!" -The 3 Spluges -"Men who have to say ""real men"" aren't real men" -Which Teletubbie did the fat orange guy play? -Hm not much I guess -I'll let you know what I think about real men when you show me some. -You look like you live in the septic tanks your boss cleans out -Family picture of all my moms together. Bet you had a different idea of threesome. - Look it’s little Peters big brother https://youtu.be/ycg9ea3Cdtg?si=ooz1pqUqGosh5eET -"Does it really take the three of you to lift a what, couple of pounds steel plate?" -"None of y’all look like you can weld, try again boys." -Real men? I just see 3 fat old slobs pretending to work. Now get to work! -Then why post picture of neck beard and incels? -"Aren't you supposed to earn your nickname? ""Real men"". Probably should've lead with something accurate like ""domestic abuser"", ""secretly gay"", ""meth head"". Something like that." -I’m getting a Ned Beatty in Deliverance vibe from the guy on the left. -A live action smurf movie coming up? -Nice caption. Man threw bloody meat in shark infested waters and then jumped in. -Would pity hump -"This picture has ""Chili's for happy hour after work"" written all over it" -Right after that pic you all jerked each other off -"You can be an Iron-Worker and still take a shower. - -I bet you have a ""don't step on me daddy"" sticker on your hard hat or locker. - -I bet you think Redwing Boots are the only ones that exist. - -You real men could use some real exercise." -Lol not one of these dudes looks even remotely manly. Just roll a neckbeard around in the mud and you apparently have a manly man? TIL -"You three c*nts just look like Neckbeards NGL lol - -*Edit" -Which one is Moe? -All I see is neckbeards -Can’t believe you guys took the 12min you get off a week to make a Reddit post instead of seeing your families. -Real men? The guy on the left looks like he ate them The middle guy looks blind as a bat so he hasn't seen a real man and the one on the right looks like he gets fucked by them -"Pretty cool it took three real men to figure out how to spell ""roast me"" correctly." -Real men can be pathetic and insecure but they’re not as pitiful as you lot (who appear to have shaved your neck beards for the photo) -Were the Klan uniforms dirty and you had to put on your other dirty clothes for family picture day? -Haha every dudes wife here. Every wife. The milk man. Especially that red boy. Ohh his wife's cheating 100 percent -Real men would defo hit on you kinda ladies -Real men? It looks like your wife’s are unsatisfied in bed. -Did Letterkenny and Trailer Park Boys have a crossover episode? -Considering two out of the three of you have neck beards why don’t you just ask each other? -Labourers -"Find us some real men and we’ll tell them what we think. Since we just have you in the picture, you look like you’re trying to start a Village People tribute band" -"Incel, neckbeard, real man. Projection is a bitch, eh ?" -I can't imagine there are enough brain cells to warrant wearing hard hats. -Which one of you is the Lucky Pierre tonight? -"I can smell the guy in the orange from here, and it's not just after a hard day's work." -"It takes a neck beard to know a neck beard. I’m looking at both of your chins there, orange jumpsuit." -New season of “ Practical Boomers”? -"Calls us neck beards, but that dude on the left literally can’t grow facial hair above his jawline." -Show us some first and we'll let you know -This is what happens when you start working out of highschool and dont visualize any ladder to climb in life. Imagine getting paid to do labor besides thinking. -"Tell tubby on the left everyone knows he cut holes in his jumpsuit pockets so he could play with himself all day, and tell the two pencil necks on the right to stop smiling at him while he does it." -Deep throat galactic -The 2 on the left look like redditors and the guy on the right looks like he still has a flip phone -Real men would be smoking and not wearing safety glasses -The guy on the left looks like he tried to be part of something and the other two allowed him on the picture out of pity and knowing he would be the most roasted out of the 3 -Dirty mike and the boys are moving up in the world. Its orgys in the electrical room now! -comment -"In spite of your haircut, acne, and bulbous nose, you're a Walmart seven." -The cardboard boyfriend pretty much sums it up -"You will find the perfect man someday, and make him miserable." -You currently have 5 bruises from randomly running in to shit -"I’d tell you a joke that would knock your tits off, but I guess you already heard it" -The Diary of Anne Skank -The human version of someone squeezing a toothpaste tube in the middle. -"Honestly, I would totally smash.... - - - - - - - - - - - -.....my penis with a sledgehammer before I'd put it anywhere near you." -"The ""I'm too crazy you can't handle me"" but too afraid to asked for more ketchup at a restaurant girl" -You look like a cross between Gollum and Timothée Chalamet -"You built like a broke pirate… - -Got a sunken chest and lost all your booty…" -Honestly you’re one needle away from your true potential… -"How about roast your closet , maybe reorganize that thing. Thanks for showing us your hydrogen peroxide and dirty towel collection though" -Temu version of Fiona Apple -Built like an earth worm -STOP LYING! YOU DON'T HAVE TEETH TO BRUSH YOU ANOREXIC CHESS MASTER... -being stoned all the time isn't a personality -"Guessing here but art major, living in a recently gentrified, historically minority neighborhood with a boyfriend your parents don’t like, but you still need them to support your lifestyle? Also, they could never understand you" -Safe to say you won't be hiding your drugs in your bra. -You look like you currently have at least 3 abortion charges on your credit card. -Monday Addams -What did the coroner say your cause of death was? -You seem like the kind of girl I was able to pick up at a bar in college only realizing once it was too late that your quirkiness extended to the bedroom where you laid there and stared at the ceiling and crying. -If Dazed and Confused was a person.. -If string cheese was a person. -Looks like you’re on a semen-only diet -You look like you needed to be told twice how to make a sandwich. -you look like you hook up with anyone who can restrain themselfs for 5 minutes before calling you flat -"You and your bf in the background there, have a flat as cardboard personality" -"Not here to roast. - -Pic. 5: You have very unequal pupils. - -Go get it checked out if you haven't already. It can be normal. But it could be due to a neurological condition ..." -If step sister porn used real actors -you remind me of marion in *Requiem for Dream* -You're exactly like all of the other girls -You look like your identity and personality revolve around Rupi Kaur poetry. -You already look like you’ve been torn to shreds! Jesus! -You look like on first dates you spend most of the conversation comparing anti depressant prescriptions. -Stalker -"I don't think it's normal for your pupils to be dilated to different sizes... or to be facing different directions. All kidding aside, you'd be really attractive if you changed literally everything about yourself" -"If you crave sustenance, maybe stop it with the bulimia." -I legitimately thought you were dude in the first pic wearing a skirt while popping a boner. -You are really pretty in the first picture. The one that your face is covered by the shadows. -Which character in Men in Black were you again? -Lorde × crushed Adderall = dis bish -Your nose could reach the bottom of a Pringles can -"How many times a day do you say ""I'm not like other girls.""?" -You look like you take naps during sex -You look like you forage for mushrooms that grow on your bathmat -"Ol Blue Eyes, one blue this way one blew that way" -Cartoons on Tuesdays in rehab huh?? Cool! Look at you! -You look like your family only takes you to the bbq to keep the flies off the food. -"You look like you even call the checkout person at Trader Joe’s, Daddy." -A corpse bride if I have ever seen one. -"She does get some action... according to the picture, she j@ck$ off Grimmace..." -Not even joking miosis can be a big indicator of some big problems and you should probably see a dr. -"With tits that saggy you'd think you've had 10 kids, but there ain't no one stupid to get baby trapped by you" -I like your left eye better -You look like what you would smoke crack out of -"Despite what they say, your parents can’t wait for you to get the fuck out." -"That depressive phase is really going to suck, since you’re going to have to pick up the pieces of this manic phase…" -Blink twice if you’re being trafficked— never mind we don’t care. -How did you get your eye to do that? 🤔 -I really hope you get the help you need. -There’s nothing to shred. You’re nothing but a bag of bones -"You ain't got no tits, Lt. Dan." -I think your Weird -It would be helpful if your eyes could face the same direction. -"Have faith, daddy will come home from that cigarette run someday." -U look like the type of chick that ate enough looking at food from across the room -I can’t tell if your 46 or 15 -"Whoever told you to be yourself, gave you a bad advice." -"I was going to try a roast, but then I empathized so hard with the face in photo 4. - -Feel you fam, feel you. ✊🏻" -Zoe Deschasmell. -You look like your favorite dessert is your index finger. -You’re not even half as interesting as you think you are. You’re the word “dry” in human form. -Can’t roast her more than the blow dryer did to her hair -Reminds me of somebody's little sister who is always getting in the way and has to be the center of attention. -Since you wish to looksmax so much a paperbag over your head would perform wonders -I bet those two mosquitoes that bit your chest starved to death. -"Her Tapeworm is busy, it's not Meth." -"You look like the girl every villain catches, you know the one that already got caught." -Other than a bath I'm guessing compliments are something else you don't get on a regular basis -The cardboard cutout looks better than you. -Good thinking on taking the photos after evicting the rats and birds from your hair. -Anorexia nervosa is a serious psyhological illness. -'Active in these communities' always tells a story -"You are super ugly - -For the record I'm super ugly and -my standards are low yet I would rather chop my cock off." -you got that nice heroin model look from the early 90s -You look like Annabelle would be scared at night from you -Hmm…Crackhead with purple hands. They’re doing wonderful things at rehab these days -"If your tits were the same size as your nose, that would be an improvement." -A woman with an Onision standie and built like Christian Bale in _The Machinist_ ? Stick a fork in her folks; she's already done. -Do you have a concussion in this picture -Is it a poor quality picture or are your legs really hairy? -I know autism when I see it -"You look like you have bleach, ammonia and one gas mask on standby whenever someone even slightly disrespects you" -Stray cat energy -I didn’t know step children got older. What the heck. -You look like a suicidal 14 year old boy -You know this isn't the place to cope after murdering Grimace. -Sorry but a good roast requires more meat on the bones. -"I bet people underestimate how valuable you would be in a zombie apocalypse . You need Jesus. This is where you tell me you're jewish. This will probably be the most hurtful thing to hear out of all of this,,, ur pretty cute and I like your personality." -Why is that guy in back of you levitating? -You look like the star of an Eastern European kink porno where the guy keeps his black crew socks on the entire time. -You have that look that screams 50 bull dykes have already ran through ypu -You look like that one nerdy ket addict that had a shot at a normal life with her sweet school bf but did drugs once and then turned into a drug addled prostitute instantly without much convincing -what the fuck is this first photo -You’d be the stick at any roast -You are one of those types of people who really shouldn't get stoned. Like at all -You fart during sex and you think it’s cute. -First of all quit looking at me like that -Move to LA if you’re not already here. Take a shot at acting. Sell that soul -Sorry I don't have any drugs -Nice to meet you Methany! -The human version of a grasshopper -IS THAT PAUL DANO OR AM I TRIPPING… -Stephen King is going to write your biography. -"Silly goose! Needles go in your arms, not in your cheeks!" -I love the way you look through my skull -even that cardboard cutout won't fuck you. -There's nothing we can do to her that her father hasn't already done. -"What could we focus on though? Nobody nose! - -But seriously, girl, eat a cheeseburger. You look like the Pixar lamp with a wig" -Your bf in the background looks like he buys his shoes at the clown store. -You look like every weird body skinny chick reading Jane Austen at Starbucks. -"Going to your profile, it makes sense now why you look so dirty, you're just a hippie that's had the hair laser removed" -"You look like Fiona and Flip Gallagher had a love child and let their dad, Frank, raise it." -You let your dog lick peanut butter off you -It's like Billie Eilish on smack. -I have five fingers the middle one is for you -You look like a cancer survivor that never had cancer. -You look like an adult who uses _weapons on minors_ and claims it’s self defense. -"Not gonna roast, look at the pupils in the 5th picture, that’s a sign of a neurological condition or something more serious. Wish you well OP." -I was full convinced that your balls were poking out under your skirt in the first pic until I realized those are just shorts and the lighting was weird -When you got you laser hair removal on your legs you should have gotten them to attack those caterpillars over your eyes too -I thought a sack was hanging out of the shorts in the first picture. Just the shaded part of the inside of shorts lol -"Careful, Your testicals are gonna fall out!" -I’ve seen aphids that eat more than you. -Li zan Al Gaib! -idk.. tough roast.. you're kinda cute -"I’ve never seen my sleep paralysis demon on Reddit before, usually you’re just at the foot of my head." -If you were have to get curves you’ll get corners instead （＾∇＾） -"Nah, it might be psychologically harmful to roast a pubescent boy." -I know this sub is for roasting but you have such beautiful eyes -"It’s giving trailer trash mixed with toxic relationship - -Also I’m assuming you drive an Altima" -"If I lool anything like you once I start HRT, I'm returning the fucking estrogen" -So beautiful your ugly 😭😭😭😭 I’m lying your beautiful 🥹🥹🥹 -Queen of the Lot Lizards. -The relationships you hold the closest are actually as attached as that one retina -"In spite of being a good photographer, you are not quite the girl we want. We’re looking for “cool ex” and not “psycho bihh”" -You look like you buy things before they expire -"Ugh, you're either in your rebel years of HS, or an adult who can outdrink my level of depression. Not sure which." -Get some sleep you don't have undereye bags you have undereye luggage -It's hard for me to roast women I want to see naked. You also seem to have a fun personality... and so rarely do you see a jockey+horse offspring survive. -"You seem like you passionately protest against wars, wealth inequality, climate change and gender rights for a career… - -While enjoying your nights throwing hash parties off your dad’s credit cards, slutting around and flying off to sudden holidays on your rich friend’s jets" -Foods runs away from you with that posture -"I did the math, and your hair has the same amount of grease as a large bucket of KFC. I realize that comparing you to KFC isn't really fair, because some people actually want to eat KFC." -If you added one simple thing to your diet it could help you a lot…… food -You murdered your purple dinosaur -Quit eyeballing me -Nice robe. I've seen it at every hotel I've ever stayed at. Where'd you steal it from? -"You look like you tried to do drugs, but they did you first. Like, how TF can your tits be that small and still sag that much? Why did you bother putting on makeup if you weren't going to rub some foundation into those pock marks? So much doesn't make sense here..." -You look like you’re on onlyfans -"I’ve heard of cankles, but thankles?" -Only way you’ll have a successful onlyfans is if your AC breaks. -You look like you endorse bulimia to your friends like an herbalife sales person -You have the phrenology of those medieval monastery drawings art schools use as a “not-to-do”. -"Why did you steal the belladonna drops from the eye doctor, the last guy I knew that did that OD'ed on heroin, and I'm not convinced you're not far behind." -You look like your idea of a good time would be drinking coffee in the break room of the Men in Black headquarters. -Nothing sexier than a woman shaped like the number 1. -I think you mistakenly uploaded a femboy pic (1st pic). -Whats the show in the background of the 5th pic -Stop showing us your acne please -Drugs are bad -Why do I assume you are a russian mail order bride? -"So, anorexia, right?" -Are you unhappy because the kidnappers returned you? -"Apparently, the abortion procedure wasn’t successful." -I like Tom and Jerry too ngl -Generally confused and walks around in a dazed state -If “high maintenance” and “paranoid schizophrenia” had a love (hate fuck) child… -Definitely has a snake collection. Never has a plunger though -Your face looks like one side is from one jigsaw puzzle and the other side is from another jigsaw puzzle and nature just jammed the misfitting pieces together because she was drunk at the time. -"If we're roasting you and tearing you to shreds, I just want to put than honkin' schnozz on a spit and carve off some gyros." -"You look like that ""last in the bar"" type of person and the dude that takes you home has to sit there and think about if it's worth it to let a desperate junkie into his house or just jack off. Then when he gets you home you just pass out, piss all over the bed and leave a weird, light brown stain on the pillows." -U look Jewish -Dead ringer for Tweety Bird — 75 lb head on a 20 lb body -I honestly visited your page thinking this was an OF bait -now we know what an anorexic regina spektor looks like if she was balding but still need laser hair removal. -What’s up with your one dilated pupil? -Heroin chic went out in the 80's. Eat something you bony bag of antlers. -I feel like we all just witnessed a hate crime. -Guess you never visit Oklahoma during the storms -"Your father got tired of you and started rejecting your advances, didn’t he?" -You definitely the girl people say asks for a small fry and McDouble for sum action in the mcds parking lot -You have the build of a 12 year old boy…. -🙄*unzips pants* -I've seen better tits on an IHOP menu. -Why does it look like your butt is in the front in the first photo? -You’re so flat you could be torn to shreds by a paper shredder or a pair of scissors -"I would say to remind yourself at dinner that life isn't a Sundance film, but it looks like you'll skip it. And the next one. At least stop dating guys that look like a detention desk, you can't fix them and you'll just keep getting clap" -"You look like a group project between Temu and SHEIN - -Btw D-" -"You look great from the side, just keep facing away." -"Fift photo, left iris is biger, nose bent to the right which means left side teeth are damaged or just atherosclerosis." -Very attractive recovering heroine addict. -comment -That's the most 38 looking 26 I've seen -I’m so tired of hot girls posting on here just trying to get karma. Thank you for not being one of those. -You have more foundation than the Eiffel Tower. -Don't be hard on yourself. Guys are never hard on you either. -Try Only Grans -Loved you in Hereditary -26 in maybe benjamin button years. -You're remarkable at being 26 and 76 simultaneously -Gee.....i wonder why you failed... -You look like Jeremy Renner in a wig -You should try a fetish page for sabertooth tigers. -What’s your onlyfans? I need something to visualize when I’m trying not to nut too quick during sex. -You would be pretty cute if you changed your hair and had different face with a better body. -My 86 year old grandfather's ballsack looks waay younger than you and more energetic too -Try turning off the old age filter. -Quit smoking before you add another decade to how old you look -I bet you’d do a hand stand and piss on yourself for a fake £5 note. -Please explain how it failed „before it started“? -I bet it’s a different type of nut you’re storing in those cheeks -"I can see why you failed at OF. - - -You're 35 and 63 at the same time." -Ofc you failed onlyfans. No one wants to pay to see a crackhead naked. -"> f26 - -I believe you but you simultaneously look 47f who spends all of her time on Facebook at her shitty job." -OnlyFails -I hope you have a good personality. -Oh you mean no one wanted to pay for your nudes? Go figure 🤷🏻‍♂️ -Pierce the lump on your face too -You look like my friends mom...she's 60 -26 going on 53 -A prerequisite to be successful as an OF model is to be an attractive whore. Unfortunately you're just a whore -Failed OnlyFans… should’ve tried WhoreDash -"Onlyfans Step 1: Have pictures of someone men would want to have sex with. - -I see where you went wrong..." -"If you're not a Brit, you're the most British non-Brit to ever Brit." -"Yeah, I see your problem right there. It's your face" -"Probably just poor marketing. I feel like there’s a market for trailer park, husky smoker voice girls, with unimpressive bodies and big moles on face. Try some better keywords" -They say 62 is the new 26 -"I'm sure your uncles have already seen you naked, anyway." -"Getting roasted on an employment center notepad... - -Literally from only fan onto the factory - -I'd usually advise against fucking the first machine operator that chases you around, but honestly that might be your ceiling - -Get a ring or get a promotion" -"The fact that you are so insecure to try only fans, that's the roast" -Huh? This is just Philomena Cunk with extra steps. -"Jesus Christ, I’ve no idea if those bags under your eyes are from a week long bender of coke or if you’ve been into some of the roughest sex ever and like getting beat to climax. Fuck it might be combination of both." -Her Only fan is her Dad. -Young Roseanne Barr lookin -Cocaine is a helluva drug -"the comments are kinda about the same. - -OP it's all fun in games but it may be a call for you to improve your skin care routine and get some fucking sleep" -Trailer park Luna Lovegood -They should make a documentary on all the small town sloozies who thought they could make a million off only fans only to find their dad's friends are the ones checking out their free subscription -Why did your father tell you he’s not subbing to your OF? I’ve seen 50 year olds who look younger than you. -"Oops, thought I was on my Grindr app 🤣" -Brazzers may be hiring 🤔 -Is that ur curtain of chose or was it inherited coz God dam -You look like you’ve been 26 for 10 years now -Wait u even tried applying I think even the algorithm tried to stop u -I just wanna know why it failed lmao -imagine failing on OF that must really crush ur self esteem -How can someone look 5 and 35 at the same time? -You failed before you were conceived. -yeah i could see why you failed you look like a heroine addict -"Judging by the wall decor, you're still living with your mom." -You are beautiful -I'm guessing you failed OnlyFans because you didn't market yourself correctly. There's plenty of people out there willing to pay top dollar for GILF porn. -Can I get my 3 dollars back? The close up pick of your tits wasn’t worth it -I’d smash her therapist -"I think you mean you were 26, 26 years ago" -I'd fab to you after an 18 pack of scotch. If it was free -"I can’t even roast this. With the extra info in the title alone, I’ll just feel bad if I roast you even further." -Yeah sorry I didn’t know you need roasting you look tore up -"Damn, I get why that onlyfans failed, it's not even that you are ugly, you just have no appeal. You basically look like a default Sim™️ from The Sims 4. No je ne sais quoi to be found here." -Look at those gigantic fucking hands - Cheeks look like they’re ready to store nuts for the winter. - Cute -"You need more sleep and to lose the nose ring, nose rings are the ugliest additions to people’s faces, I’ll bet you slurp the dick well though" -Yesh I'd still bang u.. I mean I'd also bang a dead fish... actually just gimme the fish. Probably has more life in it than u do -Maybe because you’re not attractive and look like my scrotum -Budget Fonda -How the hell did you not make millions with a body like that and a face that sank a thousand ships people would give thousands to put you clothes back on -Lonely fans -How do you fail at only fans -"Pop that huge pimple or whatever that hideous growth is? A wart? Have it removed. Maybe no one will pay for your nudes, but maybe someone has fetishes for pimples and warts." -You can’t be a whore if you tried -"Her only fans had only one fan, and it was her dad." -"Eh, I'd smash. Wouldn't tell anyone but still...." -Target audience for Appleby’s After Dark and also why it failed. -"Don't worry, all the OF material is readily available on YouTube. You just have to search ""Blind date exclusively eats expired food""" -Dates like she works. Temp agency only. -"I wanna see your only fans but at a discounted price, im thinking like 99% off." -6/8 beers and it would be a different proposition completely 👍 -"I'm fairly certain OnlyFans has a ""White Trash C-section Scars"" section. Try again." -Georgia is that you??? -Her top 3 favorite sexual positions are all missionary -"My team is making a textbook on thyroid diseases, may we have your permission to use your photo?" -Suppose your dad being your only fan doesn't get you the money you want -The title may say 26 but those lines on your forehead and bags under your eyes say 46 year old who has as many 1 week sober coins as she does abortions. -Looking over your profile it seems like you're falling into your true following.. crazy cat lady.. -You look like you grew up in Minnesota with a meth lab in your basement -if you could get a VD from a pic -"You should have started in November, you would have been perfect for no nut November." -"Yeah, not a lot of people are into turtle porn." -You would make even a happy meal frown -You kinda look like trailer trash -She's cute it's just bad lighting. -"Heres 50 cents, go downtown and have a rat gnaw that growth off your face" -What is your bodycount? -Some things even faith cannot make possible. -She realised faith could not even make her only fans possible. -"Try lonelyfans -you might get some success there" -You gotta be actually a woma....wait. I mean HUMAN on OF -Dang! That huge ass mole/pimple/zit is turning me on! DM me baby you're gonna be rich -Try Only Fats -The post nut clarity that guys have after fking you must be dreaful. -"You failed only fans before you had a chance to put out? -Damn! That must stink" -Homelyfans -I bet you get your gentle warts pierced. -Thank you for reminding me that some people actually live entire lifes of loneliness.. -Sweet Homely Alabama -Not a big market for ugly 52 year old dwarves on OF I guess. -"you give new meaning to the term ""dirty blonde hair""" -Looks like I’m your only fan -How bad do you look naked if you fail at OF??? Guys will pay for anything basically breathing! -I'd Smash... That big ass nose down a bit if I could. -Try melanoma fans -Woof. You’re the most 45+ looking 26 year old ever. -How does someone fail at Onlyfans? -Potatoes are best roasted! -That's a rough 26. Thought it was an old pic of my mother in law -You look like you pronounce the L in salmon -E.T was my favourite childhood film. You're a 5/10 at best. -I can see why you failed -Turned out it was lonelyfans. -"lol no shit the OF failed, you got a face for radio." -Ewww… I wouldn’t fuck her with your dick. -OF failed only because your step dad lost his credit card -You should adjust your age to at least 46 to match those jowls. -"When taking pictures, you always hear people saying, ""Get my good side."" I guess you need at least one good side to succeed on Only Fans." -When they were making your face they forgot to use a level on your eyes -You look like Piper Perri after a post nut clarity -Wonder why you failed only fans -Did you try not showing your face on onlyfans? You might do better if you did. -Only Fails -You look like a Ukrainian babushka Gypsy trying to trick me into having my fortune told in your crystal ball so you can steal my soul so you can stay young -26 dog years. Your only fan is your mom’s boyfriend. -Is this a joke? -You could probably feed a family with the amount of foundation you’re using -"Ya look like one of those podlings from The Dark Crystal. But instead of the Emperor getting your essence, it would be a UTI" -You can take that saying down off the wall. It’s obviously not worked for you. -"Your nails match your personality, dull and grey" -So many bumps and craters on that face. Thought this was a moon landing subreddit at first glance. -Really? I hear grannies are doing quite well nowadays -I made the mistake of zooming in -I wonder who her only fan was? -"Ah yes, the beauty only a meth addict could truly appreciate." -26 going on 46 -You look like you’ve been smacked across the right side of your face with the backside of a shovel -Not even foundation can make your face smooth -Why did they cut Trailer Park Barbie out of the movie anyways? -"Ye no shit, people go to OF for hot girls not to be addressed with what looks like someones condescending mom" -This image is where erections go to die. -You look 45 -"Not sure how you failed, but dm if you have some decent pussy lips and wanna make some money!" -Not the only fans reject trying to boost her outreach. -The most natural Halloween witch I’ve ever seen. -I’d pay you to stay away from me and to keep your clothes on -There's a typo. I think you meant 62* -You look like if Trudy and Clementine had a baby -46f and about 100 cats. -"I'd imagine with a face like that, you couldn't pay for fans." -A face that not even a stepdad could love. -The only thing worse than your failed only fans is your singing voice -Amazing that there are girls that guys don’t wanna see naked for free but think they can sell nudes -26 looking like that creepy Grandma -Tell me you suck at life without telling me you suck at life . -And I thought the mailman in Elf was a rough looking 26. You look like you smoke Senecas and wear your slippers to the Dollar General. -Under your eyes says 48yo -What’s it feel like to be 8 (months) and 80 (years) simultaneously? -You could try the opposite of only fans. People would pay you to not post your face online. -Dont you have a coven to attend? Don’t want to keep your sisters waiting! -I'd throw you a $20 to watch you cut that mole off. -Didn’t need to read your history to know you have multiple cats -"If they threw a drug addicted Hilary Duff in a blender, that would be you. A scruffy bummy beat up version selling nail polish on the side of the curb." -Your mom goes to college! -Moley moley moley molllllllleeeeeeeewe -AI was asked to blend every substitute teacher into one -Your face makes freight trains take dirt roads -That rose ring really accentuates the mole and your chubby cheeks -"You look like the little troll dude from Total Recall. - -“What's bullshit, Mr. Quaid? Afraid to admit that you're having a schizo paranoid episode, or that you really are an invincible secret agent from Mars, who is in the middle of an interplanetary conspiracy to make him think that he's a lowly construction worker?”" -I would..... -Your failed abortions are not saved by likes honey -"It sounds like you already figured it out, but just in case: no one wants to see you naked." -"Is that fucked 26 or female, 26? Difficult to tell. I'm going with the first one." -Your skin suit doesn't hide the fact that you're a Slitheen. -How can you fail Only Fans? Simps will buy anything lol -The nose ring doesn't draw attention away from that wart on your chin -"I’m glad that you were self-aware enough to realize that your chances of succeeding on OnlyFans were about as good as your chances of passing for 26. You saved a lot of people from a lot of horror and therapy. - -Also, I’m interested in the math that gets you to 26 years old. I kinda think that you must be using something similar to the Celsius to Fahrenheit conversion. 26C equals 78F, so yeah that makes sense." -"You failed the genetic testing before you were even born, don't forget that" -How the fuck do you fail onlyfans? Are you a guy? -She definitely an acholic with that puffy face -Your face looks like it got hit by seventeen trucks -Winter must be coming as you look like you’ve been storing food in your cheeks. -The only way you will succeed in sex work is if clients pay you to keep your clothes on. -It was the sausage fingers amirite? -Head counts as anal with this one. -Wart is going on here? -"Hey girl I’m fourty, financially secure, No one would even guess that there’s an age gap. HMU." -You look like you’re going to plead for me to continue growing crops so you don’t starve -Your eyes are in different time zones. -Anyone know if gollum is still looking for a date? -"You look like you’ve been eating only flans, fatty" -"Failing only fans?'pretty much every guy in here is jacking off right now, to your image. Imagine all that missed money...." -Even Stevie Wonder would need a paper bag to hit that -Try Homely Fans -I love that you can see how thick the make up job is with those two poor moles being buried alive -Wart the fuck is that. -Your last post is you asking people what your own eye colour is at 26. You'll go far. -I’d rather pay to watch OF fails than OF normal. -Your singing is absolutely shit and you have no defining features. Enjoy your cats. They'll be the only things that love you. -How many times have you suggested ass-to-mouth with your partners only for them to mistakenly shove it in your mouth first? -Nose ring no Dad -You look like your face is still numb from a jaw surgery. Maybe it's the cheek jowls. -I can see why. -You should probably pay us to watch based off what’s on display here -"Stop reading the ""When Kegel Fails"" book and start reading ""How to tie a knot""." -www.NoFans.com -How is nobody talking about how she looks 40? -You're the only one who can visit Israel without fear of Hamas kidnapping you. -That’s just quitter talk. Get back in that ring and show off that B hole for 5 bucks a pop. -It’s the LIVE LAUGH LOVE Chuegy home furnishings that piss me off….How do you look like a little old lady already?…. -Nobody wanted to see your hairy feet. -Try Zerofans -Moley moley moley moley covered by makeup -"> failed only fans before I started - -Oh thank god. I’d hate to stumble across it." -r/13or30 -That's because you need to be moderately attractive for only fans dummy dumb dumb -"You know the saying, ""When life hands you lemons try breast implants.""" -comment -"Aww! That homemade dress really brings out the ""cult leader's 3rd wife"" in your eyes." -Your definitely the girl from 4th grade that would pick her nose and eat it -"You didn’t just let yourself go, you placed a brick on the accelerator and fell asleep behind the wheel." -You look like you sew your own clothes and mod r/canning -If “my best years are behind me “ were a face -"Don’t worry, it doesn’t count as letting yourself go when there’s not much there in the first place" -I can smell the astrology and armpit hair from here 😒 -I know you Amish women are supposed to look plain but you are really taking it up a notch -You look like you hit your kids with a wooden spoon. -Chasing your kids around Chuck-e-cheese does not count as a spartan sprint -I never knew you could describe how Bleu cheese smells with a picture. -I'm getting josef fritzl daughter vibes from you. -After 5 kids I'm going to assume the next Spartan race will be held in your vagina. -I can’t tell what I’m looking at.. The face of the anti-vaxxer Anne of Green Gabels or the ex-Mormon teenage mum who’s just discovered electricity and hot showers -You look like you can headbutt through a bank vault door. -You look like you have a stand at the farmers market and spend all day Sunday explaining why your process for jalapeño cheddar rolls is better than that bitch Sally three stalls down while shoppers listen with a glazed over look. -"Sail away sail away sail away ... from all of us, please, just go" -"Did you roofie the same guy 5 times, or 5 different guys?" -…when pregnancy becomes a lifestyle. -5??? It’s okay to tell the guy to pull out and finish on your fivehead. We’ve got more than enough of your brood. -I bet that nose smells a Sunday roast on a Wednesday -Was it really the Spartan Sprint or were you just escaping from your polygamist Mormon compound? -None of those kids are vaccinated. I guarantee it. -Eating all of your kids’ blue crayons and calling it blue cheese again? -The only spices you own in your house are salt and pepper (only if u want a little kick) -You didn’t have to mention the home birth penchant…we could tell. You have that look. That ‘you’re different’ look. -"Betcha she thinks she has natural beauty. It's what all the ugly bitches think. - -If granny panties was a picture" -"Your husband is 52 and teaches Middle School and you are home-schooling your kids, right?" -"31 with 5 kids all home births. Hmmm... How do you say ""I'm in a cult"" without saying I'm in a cult." -You like moldy cheese and your husband likes moldy pussy. Perfect couple. -Orinoco Blow… -Creative way of saying I used to be a Vegan but I’m not now. Well done. -I loved that shirt when my grandmother was wearing it in 1952. -Dude your eye brows look like they still loading -Did you also break your mating partner’s ankles and force him to write a book? -Your face says Great Depression -I can imagine it would be like trying to fuck a bucket of lukewarm water at this point. -I’ve seen semi trucks take less loads that she has -"Your face makes me conflicted: Do I bring you to a geometry convention, or turn you on your side and start cutting meat for Italian street subs?" -you look like you've poisoned more than one adversary. -"If a potato grew eyes, this is what it would look like" -You look like a fairytale princess that only diseased animals flock to. -Does your grandma know you took her tablecloth to make your shirt? -How many of your sister wives are actually your sisters? -31 but you dress like you 61. I didn't think the Amish used electricity. Is your brother proud of his 5 kids? -You don’t look roasted as much as boiled in milk & bleach -You look like you got the 5 kids by luring them into the woods with a house made of candy… 🍭 🧙 -You're like a skinnier version of the stalker Martha from the netflix show 'Baby Reindeer' -"Poster child for Generation ""Meh""" -Did you eat the placentas though? -"31 years old and now you can’t help pissing yourself a bit every time you walk down some stairs. Trampolines are definitely a thing of the past as well. I also imagine you’ve had at least one conversation with your partner about wanting to get some goats. If you do, don’t vlog about it. The world isn’t interested." -I see you're a cream pie afficionado in multiple ways. -You that dustbowl chick with the kids from Grapes of Wrath? -"Moved to Oregon from Salt Lake City because you were too much of a free spirit. Your husband wears short, socks, & Birkenstock sandals. He looks kinda like Jesus with his beard even though he is an atheist. You really enjoy composting and canning your own fruit. You still breast feed 4 of the 5 kids and hand wash their diapers." -Somewhere an MLM promoter is salivating. -"Let's see ""my favorite music artist is Enya, I sometimes eat blue cheese by itself"" - -I think you did enough roasting yourself." -Chubby ugly chick with pictures of herself eating sweets....never seen that before -"Five kids, five different daddies. Looks about your speed." -Who the fuck hit that 5 times?! -You look like someone out of a Stephen King novel. -"I feel nauseated just looking at that face, I don’t know what I’d do if I saw those teeth" -Female Shrek who uses Michael Jackson's skin bleaching products. -Maybe you should lay off the blue cheese… -That nose is from troll folklore in Norway  -<—- the 1800s is that way -"You swear that deodorant crystals work just as well as real deodorant, but your BO quickly clears any room you enter. - -You rail against the Medical Industrial Complex because essential oils and organic food can cure any illness. - -Your childrens' clothes and faces are dirty not because you're lazy, but because kids should just be allowed to be kids." -Tell me you’re antivaxxer without telling me you’re an antivaxxer -"You look like ""Olive Garden"" is the most interesting place you've ever been. - -You look like you invented having sex with a hole in the sheet. - -You have 5 kids and you've probably only had sex 5 times." - You look the stripper guys get during their rumspringa -If cream cheese in a crockpot was a person. -31 is the new 45 in the trailer park -What is your place in the pecking order of your mormon husbands stable of wives? -A Mormon if I ever saw one -Which sister wife number are you? -"You look like you have the worst case scenario yeast Infection that has been left untreated for 3 years and coincidentally you and your mother in law have won the best bread baking competition that is held in town every other Sunday! Yummy!!! Deliciousness 🍽️ -🏆🥇🍞🥐🫓🥖🥯🎖️🏆🧑‍🍳" -Tell me you’re from Utah without telling me you’re from Utah -"You're great, well done to you, ignore anything that upsets you on here, you're a trooper, you really are!" -No roast - I think you look lovely! -Mom of 5 at 31? You're suffering enough -How many of those kids were with your brother? -You’re cool as fuck -I know this isn’t the point of this sub but I just wanna say the title is actually really impressive. -You misspelled fat -"Ah, the aroma of incense, blue cheese, and body odor from your hairy armpits. Enticing. Does your vagina echo when someone goes down on you?" -Tell us you didn't complete high school without telling us you didn't complete high school. -Her vagina must be like shaking hands with an old man. -It's just like throwing a vegan hotdog down a hallway at this point. -"I'd give you one - - - - - - - - - - - - -Out of 10" -Why -Must roast...feeling sleepy...must roast...photos so boring...must roazzzzz -"You made my penis retract into my body, and I cringed at the thought of your bland cooking." -I imagine at this point they’re just falling out. -How many grandkids do you have? -With 5 kids I don’t know what’s longer you leg hair or your nipples -He must have saved up for 3 whole hours to buy that ring -"You know when you gain weight your tits are supposed to get bigger too, right?" -Jack white has 5 kids? -I just want to know what you named your sourdough starter. And it better not be a cuter/more acceptable name than your five children! -Looks like she posts in the r/Roastmyplacenta to exchange recipe tips -"I was going to say you look like one of those farm girl breeder types, then I read the caption.. Now I have to come up with something else." -How was the homeschool convention this year? -"I smell patchouli, cat piss and see armpit hair and leg hair." -"Other moms avoid you because they don't want to hear you drone on about the magic of unmedicated home births, eating your placenta, making organic baby food..." -I wouldnt fuck you with a stolen cock -and here ladies and gentlemen is why being a tradwife is not all shimmer and shine. her husband and kids don't give her much credit so she hops on r/roast me in hopes of getting attention. congratulations -Your eyes have a pretty color -I thought the Amish didn’t have Internet? How are you on Reddit? -I’m not gonna roast you. Congrats on the home births. -You look like you make your own soap -How is using essential oils instead of regular medicine going? -Roasted yourself by just posting these -How does one home birth five cats? -"MILF - -Mother I'd Like to Forget" -All home births because she would not release the pregnant moms. -"You still looks attractive girl,5 kids is a blessing, good on you and you look and that beautiful smile shows the beauty of your heart my dear ❤️" -"5 home births! What a LEGEND…ary catchers mitt she must have down there, amazing!" -"Ok, we get what’s wrong with you, you explained it at great lengths. What’s up with you sister wives?" -Wasn't she eating tomatoes in one of the Lord of the Rings movies? -"Of course they're home births, they dont have hospitals by shreks swamp" -You didn’t let yourself go. You couldn’t stop being pregnant long enough to work out. -Just wanted to say I totally respect that you did all home births which is natural and safe. Giving birth against gravity while laying down on a hospital bead is disingenuous. Also Enya is amazing I lover her music. -1800’s Ireland called. They want you and your potato face back. -Can we get an AMA from your father-brother-husband as soon as he is done fucking the pigs in the barn? -5 home births? You don’t need to be roasted. As tough and worn out as it is you should really be braised. -"Oh man I can picture it, you hunched over in a corner with some blue cheese all over your face and on the ground muttering to your self ""my precious"" all crazy eyed and sweaty one of your kids coming over and asking if you're ok you snapping back ""its Mommy's special time go away""" -"Ngl, I just flew Delta here to read the comments and was NOT disappointed! Lol You sound cool as hell tho fr" -Like we really need 8 photos to roast you -You actually seem really cool! -There’s no roasting a mom of 5!! Other than to say … WTF!!!😳 -31 going on 48. Get your shit together before you get ditched with those kids. -Nothing spartan about you! -"Excuse me, a sprint through the beet farm doesn’t count as a Spartan sprint" -"Thanks, my phone smells like patchouli now…" -your fabulous -'Spartan sprint' to the front of the buffet! -Nah.. you’re tough as nails. No roasting today. -You’d win a look alike contest with the witch from the wizard of oz -Can't believe somebody cummed in you this many times -You look like you work at: Women and Women First. -"I fuckin love a good blue vein cheese all by itself. - -I imagine you ate your home birth placenta with crumbles of gorgonzola. 🤢🤮" -You skipped all the obstacles in the spartan sprint didn’t you? And still claim to have completed -"And we call this look ""late 19th century US baking chic"" - It tries its best to be as bland as men's clothes because men are really who they were catering to in this uhhh subculture. Yes- that empire on that planet was destroyed by uhhh an idea called profit? Sorry, we try not to allow those planets on our tour- kind of not real good for business here- but we're carrying on! What else is going on in this system- a moon called Titan? Anyone wanna see that? You, sir? We have a few parsecs to go here!" -You’re fricken adorable! -you look like someone with something to prove -"The kind of person who will eat placenta but won't use pasturized milk. - -When you leave your family to be in a polycule they'll all be relieved to not have to eat carob any more or use vinegar and tea tree oil for toothpaste. - -You think you sound like Mary Oliver, but you really sound like Dr. Bronner." -Does your husband know you’re on his phone again? -Love those ocean eyes if I was a shark I’d swim in them -"You know, I once ran into someone with eyes like yours in real life. I was mesmorized. I still think about it. Wow, you have lovely eyes. Sorry, this comment probably doesn't belong here, so sorry." -no one needs to roast you tbh -"Hell, I can’t roast ya like you want because I just wanna be best friends based on that caption." -I'll bet it grips like a special needs kid holding the class pet -Why would I roast you? I'm in love. -I'm sorry for your loss. It's always hard when you lose your husband to dissentary on the Oregon trail. -"This donut is so delicious 😋, -I'll diet next year_" -Beautiful blue eyes. You look down to earth with little or no makeup. -"I'd roast you but you have 5 kids, most respect for people who still want to have kids instead of pets." -"go drown yourself ❤ - -. - -. - -. - -. - -.. - -... - - -. - -. - -.. - -. - -. - - - -. - - -.. - -. - -. - -. - -. - -.. - -.. - -. - -. - - -. - -. - - - -. - -.. - -. - -. - -. - - -.. - - -.. - -. - -IM SORRY DO NOT ACTUALLY" -Love the summer dress -Nothing wrong with eating blue cheese by itself fellow cheese eating weirdo~ -….I don’t wanna…! -I…. Can’t. -You have very beautiful eyes 🙂 -You are perfect I love blue cheese and the orinoco flow. -"I have always said, if you don’t like blue cheese, we can’t be friends. Can you bake me a loaf of bread, Amish mama." -Were all 5 lost to being antivax? -My favorite music artist is also all up Enya😂 -"I’m sorry, miss. I just can’t do it today." -Why would I roast you? You look like a nice lady…sending Positive Vibes your way✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️ -Sorry I can roast you. I respect you too much for being a mom of 5. -"You didn’t “let yourself go” you had 5 kids and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that lol - -Edit: i didn’t realize what subreddit this was. Youre fat." -5 kids with 6 baby daddy's -You look alluring to me. -How's life in the northern Idaho compound? -"Strong, independent woman." -Seems like all you would wear are long jean skirts -"Something tells me you only wear, granny panties…." -"Don’t worry, once you start homeschooling the kids you won’t be so bored." -"You legit should have your thyroid checked. Your eyebrows are thinning on the outer edges, which can be a sign of hypothyroidism. 💜" -"Can't even, GOAT mom. Love me some blue cheese." -Don’t do it. Your life has meaning. -Spartan sprint? F those wannabes. Your life is a testament to the original Spartans. How many home births? -"I like eating blue cheese by itself too! :) - -Oh uh roast ... uh were both gross because of that I think" -Home births by choice or home birth because no one besides your husband was willing to get anywhere near your spread legs? -"5 kids? -You *really* like it Enya." -You convinced someone to fuck you a minimum of 5 times? That's seriously impressive -"I feel like you would end up on ""sort your life out"" and Stacey Solomon would just give up at the amount of cat piss in the house" -"So when is your due date for the quintuplets, must be soon?!" -Did all of your kids run away the moment they came out of the womb? -Amy Bologna Carrot? -Gotta be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. -Does your grandmother know you pinched her tops? -"Enya? - -You’re that boring?" -You look like you enjoy walking past your kids and dropping ass while they eat their snacks. 💨 -You look like you really would wash your kids mouths out with soap. -Sad beige mom vibes -Sarah Plain and Tall -Popping out 5 crotch goblins while listening to Enya and eating blue cheese is apex demonic activity. -"5 kids from 5 different dads!?! -I can’t believe 5 men would stick their dick in you. Your picture smells like blue cheese." -You look like you think moisturiser is a hoax by big pharma made to take in the dollars -I thought you looked good for your age until I saw you’re 31 not 51😐 -How’s your failed English major? -My wife is 41 and you look 10 years older than her. -comment -There is a whole other skull trying to push through your forehead. -This picture could be used to scare kids away from drugs. -You're holding onto that hair with the same conviction women hold onto their drinks when they see you coming. -Its the spooky omegle dookie guy -How long have you been 23? -Yeah the ladies would find that dual income from clown/crypt keeper pretty irresistible. -"Lmao, this motherfucker" -You look like the guy that trick or treaters are not allowed to go to -"Oh, no thanks, no thanks, pass, next please." -The animatronics at spirit Halloween are getting really realistic aren’t they? -You could steal any girl... with chloroform. -Maybe if you snuck up behind her and knocked her unconscious then tied her up and threw her in the back of your vw bus. But let’s be honest here…. No way anyone wouldn’t smell you coming from a thousand yards away. -Too bad you are already a YT legend that looks like the LMFAO hype man after the edibles have work off -The Rizz king uses reddit?  -You look like the kind of guy that makes a YouTube about being bald yet having rizz -That new Beetlejuice movie looks like a dud. -Brown Krusty the Clown -When were you released from Guantanamo Bay? -GooseWayne is unroastable to be honest. -The only thing you should be trying to steal is rogaine -Even you got scared when you saw yourself in the camera. -Yes you could. Chloroform and duct tape. -You literally look like my dad when he used to sneak into my room at night. -f.R.I.Z.Z -Are you Pennywise without the makeup? -Love your videos man! And that’s all I love about you -Real life Klingon -"Holy shit, seen a lot of this dude's YouTube shorts. - -Oh, ugh... You... Need to cut your hair! Take that roast" -If dude from scrubs had a baby with Gallagher -Damn bozo let himself go -The only “steal” situation you are getting is kidnapping. Gosh that hair looking like a crazy priest. -I seen this guy do his omegle rizz. Funny shit. But clearly he's already fully embraced all of that which could be used to roast him and therefore has become unroastable. Tony Hinchcliffe himself would find him to be impervious. -Rizz me up bro -"When ""stealing a girl"" involves duct tape and a van, it's called kidnapping." -you look like you troll omegle to rizz -"You look like the ""take my strong hand"" guy from Scary Movie." -You remind me of that shitty band LFMAO… but more like LWMHFO. Laughing while my hair falls off. -"Bro you make some of my favorite content on the internet. That being said, I can see the future in your crystal balld fivehead" -I'll pass. Life already roasted you enough. -23 what?!? Years in prison?!? -"You put the F in LMFAO. They're third member. - - -Is your name Redf*g - - -Or was it Sky Boof?" -Howard Stern's fired sidekick. -"Nah, my girl isn’t in to sea-creatures." -White panel van steal your girl… -oh its william shakespear -"Dude I love your shorts, the spin and riz look 🔥! I know this is Roast but your content is awesome, keep it up king!" -"You were 23, 23 years ago lol" -"Oh hey when I was browsing Youtube shorts I saw you randomly pop up in my algorithm - -And then I scooped my eyes out of my skull just to make sure that could never happen again" -They may as well declare your forehead a country  -I love this man -Your videos make me laugh. I always enjoy when they come across my feed. -The only way you could steal a girl is with candy and a white windowless van. -"Instead of stealing my girl, steal some rogaine." -"You look like your father is black and he's a dentist, and your mom looks like Taylor Swift." -Look like the type of dude to creep on girls on omegle but then with a wink and a smile steal their hearts -"If you’re looking for your father, his name is Ernie McCracken." -He looks like he is a burnt out coke addict that just left a gay club in Miami in the 80’s -"Wow, that circular bump on your head, you definitely were dropped intentionally as a baby." -Pennywise after Neutrogena Makeup Wipes -guy looks like he used to dress up as batman call himself goosewayne and would fight a crack head joker 👀 😁 -God is that you? Ima call Dr. Phil -Goose with a forehead like that you can have my girl 😂😂 love the videos 👍 -Does your forehead know the gender of the baby yet? -You look like that guy who as on doctor Phil pretending to be Batman. -You are famous for having bad hair -Dude walking around with handkerchief full of chloroform because the only way he could steal any girls -You look like the love child of an English Springer Spaniel and Gallagher. -You look like the Bollywood version of both the butler and Dwight in Scary Movie 2. -The most 43 looking 23 year old I've seen in my life. -You look like you wear thongs around new borns -I'm sure he's a registered predator in 48 states. -"Goose! Much love man. Looks like the hair eating bacteria is making it's way to your good looks bro. Need to put the mask back on. ❤️ - -Been following you for a long time, congrats on the 1 million bro!" -You look like Gallagher on meth -"Taking other dudes' fleshlights is not what ""steal your girl"" means." -By steal you mean kidnap right? -He kinda looks like Drake’s brother doesn’t he? -One sec I have seen u on Insta😭 -Nice skullet -You'd steal my girl if she was 12 and you were driving your Ford Transit. -"I can’t with this dude, he hella funny in the multiverse" -Buddy looks like he was kidnapped by the lgbt+ after being a member of isis lmao -My man the only thing you should be worrying about stealing is some rogaine -I doubt you'd be stealing any girls unless you mean by abducting them- you look like that type! -Nice skullit -You look like Andrew Tate did meth -GOOSEWAYNE!! I love your videos bro -You deff a sex offender 👀 -Is it truly the legend or an imposter? -DUDE i watch you on youtube but didn’t know you’re 23??? Im 23! yikes bro! -"That's not a fivehead, it's a fourteenhead." -23? The closest you'll get to twenty three year olds is your criminal record. -I appreciate you goose! -You look like a mix of Bruce Wayne and drake -You look like Goosewayne -"I’m guessing that by “steal you girl,” you mean physically throw her in the back of an old white van?" -Looked better with wicks -Bro the years were not kind after doctor Phil and the fiancé left you lmfao -Let me take a picture of you and see if I can find you a girl. 😂😉 That shit had me cracking up for ever. His damn face was priceless bro -Oh you surely could steal my girl and I know you have the windowless white van to do it with. -"When other dudes brag about getting ""head,"" I don't think you comprehend what they are talking about." -You put the mess in messiah -My girl isn’t a catalytic converter bro. -What’s up omegle guy -You look 40. -Why is Goose Wayne here? -Hahaaa fuck homie you probably could. Aye don’t sleep on this dude -Your hairline looks like Moses parting the Red Sea -You look like you scare little girls on Omegle. -You'll never be the real batman -You look like you would do shorts on YouTube -Your vids are funny. -Don’t walk in sunlight. You gonna blind the airplane pilots with the glare. -"I showed your photo to my 3 year-old, and he legit started crying." -Put the candy down and step away from the playground. -You look how depression feels -Get a wig and glue it on your head or just shave it all off. -You look like an unsuccessful Batman cosplayer with troubles at home so he spends all his time on Omegle. -"23?? If you told me you're 46 I would have believed you with no doubt, and thats not a roast thats a goddamn fact" -Should’ve auditioned for beetlejuice -Steal someone's girl? You look like you get bullied by the people that bullies pick on. -Real life Krosty.!! -"You could definitely steal her. And her kidneys, her corneas, liver, stomach, skin, heart etc." -You forgot to type from. Steal from. -"See guys, you no longer have to go to the doctor if you have an erection lasting 4 hours. Just look at this guys face." -You look more likely to steal meth. -Predator if he was a predator. -Maybe if you hit her with your club and dragged her back to your cave. -You look like someone I barebacked while in locked up in county. -How can you look like both the victim and the perpetrator of sexual assault? -Dropped it on the floor and now we'll never know how many licks it takes to get to the center. -When this guy gets to hell Satan will drop to his knees and pray to Jesus for salvation. -The only face on Omegle that will make a guy stop jacking off -Ay I know you. What’s up dude! -You look like a sucker 🍭 when it falls on the floor. -23 and 52 at the same time mustve been some fantastic drug abuse -It’s that bald Ahole from YouTube -"You just made my self confidence go up, thank you" -Cyraxx?? -Saw you on the yt bro no chance -23 did you mean to write 32 -You look like you belong on the black pearl -Stay the fuck away from my watermelons .. -"the only way you steal anyone's girl is if you kidnap them, dude." -"hey, kidnapping is not stealing. - How many times do I have to tell you Jimmy, kidnapping - bad." -You look like a doll that was pulled out of a fire. -"Dude, the only thing you could steal would be food off a middle school lunch tray, except you can't be within 500 feet of a school due to history with children" -andrew tate if he invented the flux capacitor -Wtf is that!!! Gallagher’s unknown sister? -Gallagher's illegitimate son? -23?! OH MY GOD -you look like Sikowitz**.** -You're 23??? Brother you look 40 -"We can't roast the great GooseWayne! - - -God already did that..." -Yo head look like a clitoris -Steal her purse? Phone? Identity? -This is a confession for his 23 kidnapping charges. -I think the girl stole your wig -Far more likely to steal catalytic converters -"If by ""steal"" your girl, you mean ""kidnapping,"" then yeah, sure." -Didn't I see you on star trek ? -"Kidnap your girl, you mean - -It's different to 'steal' - -I can believe you'll kidnap someone" -You look like a mediocre content creator that works with short form media. -Bro couldn’t even steal his hair back LMAO -You mean kidnap? -The only way you’d steal any girl is with a roofie and a burlap sack -"Hentai, not even once…" -My guy looks like excited ass hair -"That is the ugliest roughest looking 23 year old. I’m 40 and I look younger, better, and healthier shit" -Id look as traumatized as you if I had a hairline like that -23??!?!? you at least 45 😂 -"when he takes ""steal a girl"" literally" -"If someone had shown me this picture of a 23 year old man when I was 18, I would have never snorted coke." -Drugging with chloroform is not stealing.... -This man is legally required to stay 500ft away from people who are legally required to stay 500ft away from schools. -You’re what Andrew Tate is supposed to look like -"I see you, Gallagher, trolling Reddit for jokes to use at open mic night again." -The shirt says Rizz but the hairline says you’re not allowed within 100 feet of a playground. -So Ron Jeremy has a son? -Gallagher And Andrew Tate’s love child -Stealing a girl doesn't mean a tranquilizer and the back of a van. -I like that fake bald head cap with the stringy hair. You can be the bouncer at my next jerk off party. -If covid had a face.. -You single handedly ended Omegle because you are so creepy -Hmm. Gallagher screwed something other than all those watermelons. -OMG IT’S DRAKE -You look like Dr. pimple popper extracted you. -Dude I watch your videos all the time with my kids I love you 😭 -"How can someone look so masculine, yet so feminine -So hot, yet so ugly - -I think i need therapy after seeing this" -Calm down guys i dont think he saw his picture -fellas get yourself a girl that will stick with you as fiercely as this guy sticks by his hair -"When we say “steal your girl” we don’t mean ruffie and kidnap her. - -Where would you steal her off to? The crack head burning man in the alley behind Best Buy? - -You look like the stunt man of the third henchmen in a B action movie. You know the one they set on fire. - -You are 23? That is the story you are going with? You age like you made a bad decision at the end of an Indiana Jones movie." -Ok beatlejuice -Steal some hair -I'm more scared about you stealing my hairline than my girl -"If you stealing any girl they are probably unemployed and just want some of that influencer money. You busted as all get out, very funny, but outrageously busted." -"He could swoop her right up, with his strong hand." -Why’re you everywhere?!! 😭😭😭 -"He is a famous YouTuber with over 1,000,000 subscribers" -You look like Beetlejuice -You’d be lucky to steal a bar of soap -Chloroform and a van is not what “stealing” someone’s girl means! -Did your Dad have a job smashing watermelons with a mallet? -comment -"can i have a photo to put on my mantelpiece,, just to keep the kids away from the fire" -When all your genetics are recessive. -"Lower case ear, capital eye, lower case eye, capital ear" -Do you have a portrait of yourself in the attic becoming more attractive? -"I bet you are known around your trailer park as ""the weasel""" -It’d disturbing how a guy can look like both the perpetrator and victim of a child sex ring. -Your eyes give off “come on man I’ll suck yo dick” vibes… -How could your ego possibly be big? -Whose pubes are on your face? -No one give this guy a sock and set him free. -Pete Davidsons cracked out gay for pay brother. -Meth has really taken the piss out or Frankie Muniz -Is this like a Make-a-Wish thing? -You look like Gollum if he pawned the one ring for heroin money. -Hows retirement? Do you still keep in touch with Stimpy? -"Yes, I bet you have heard it all. - -""Sir please put your hands behind your back."" -""Please rise."" -""Sentenced for possession"" -""You sure got a purdy mouth, boy."" -Etc." -Malcolm In The Middle Of The Homeless Shelter. -You will not find the extra chromosomes in the semen you swallow. -Was your mother _ever_ sober during the pregnancy? -“My precious!” -"“I am proud of you, son” - -I bet you never heard that one." -That's a bold T-shirt to wear for your government mandated sex offender registry picture. -Holy shit is that jesse Pinkman with a malnourishment issue -Jeffrey Dahmer would have hard passed. -gollum after rehabs -I bet you're lazier than your left eye -If I saw you in my house I would call Orkin. -Your mom must have drank like a fish. -You look like an ugly Steve Buscemi. -"Second line of t-shirt behind the paper  - -“All Night For $12”" -You look 16 and 56 at the same time -You look like you collect other people's farts. -Got dayum Patches! My 19yr brother has a full beard n we’re Asian! -"We made a baby, Frodo. A Baby!" -I can’t believe you would break into someone’s home just to take this picture -"Pete davidson's tumor, he had scraped off 28 years ago." -He lives in the wall behind him -Malcolm on the bottom -You look like a disabled Pete Davidson. - Vitamin D- -What 29 years of being on meth does to 28 year olds… -"What’s the difference between this dude and a catfish? - -One has whiskers and stinks… the other is a fish." -Ego makes up for penis -Can’t tell if you have pink eye or stink eye -I want to bully you -This is what too much inter dimensional travel with your grandpa does to you -Too bad the hanger didn’t do the job but it fucked you up real good. God damn. -Guys I didn't know Carl Ghallagar made a baby with Gollum!! -I know your ego is big but could you take a second to point me towards the yellow brick road -Malcom in the meth house -"Why are you standing around , get back in the tree and make some fucking cookies" -RICKITY CRICKET -One eye looks a little .... unemployed -_- -"You've done it all, too." -Pete Davidson? -"You look like you’ve escaped the gas chamber, only to have contracted aids." -Looks like young wilem Defoe but if his face was dragged across concrete -Looks like you got punched in the face. Also looks like your face is punchable af. -White trash Pete Davidson -Beat Davidson -You look like Pete Davidson if he never got famous or sober -he looks like the kinda guy to have 2 kids to 3 baby mums -"""My ego is big"" - -... Why tho" -Not as big as ur forehead -Ops face is proof that coathangers are not a contraceptive -You make Pete Davidson look handsome -"With ears that big, I’d bet there’s very little you don’t hear" -"No, fuck you." -You look like the kind of guy that would scrape the hash from underneath his fingernails and put it in a joint to smoke -I bet your mother bought you that t-shirt. -When crohns meets meth. It’s never pretty. -I'm impressed with how each side of your face looks like a separate pics taken 15 years apart. -Fucking cricket! -Bro looks like Great Value brand Pete Davidson. -I heard dueling banjos when I saw your face -"""You've heard it all"" yeah no shit, how could you not." -Crickeeeeet! -"You're not wearing your bathrobe, McPoyle." -You look roasted already -"Bro's face passes for a solid password, special characters and all" -"He looks like Pete Davidson playing Rami Malik while playing Freddy Mercury, but on Freddy Mercury's last day when he died from AIDS." -Holy shit..Steve buscemi and Pete Davidson had a kid -"the dude from breaking bad - - -when he uses ALL the drugs" -"If pasty had a brand spokesperson, it would be this guy 👆👆!" -"you look like your favourite food, hobby, and relaxation method is meth" -Stop winking me u one big eared cutie -"You share used condoms with your neighbors. Who also happen to live in a tent in your back yard. Or vice versa. Either way, get some help." -You look like a shady GTA character -Homeless I'mAlex -I don't know if you're searching for a ring or a sock! -I am sure his left ear can pick up radio signals -You've got quite an ego for a boy with a body made of hangers. -Don’t think we should provoke this is guy. Who knows what he’s capable of doing -Are you one of those people under the stairs? -I feel like if I leave you out of my sights long enough my catalytic converter will disappear. -28?!? Got dayum “son” -You missed a spot when you were cleaning around your chun and upper lip from that time you got tarred and feathered. -The shirt is the least offensive part of your look. -Steve Buscemi + Don Knotts you in 30 years -Pete Davidson + Steve buscemi + meth = you -You look like a virgin by force -Steve Buscemi and Pete Davidson split their genes and had a love child from Stifler’s mom… -You look like milo oblong -You look like regular sized Rudy turned to life of crime..and meth. -"I've seen so many useless fucks around St. Louis that look exactly like you. They hang out in black neighborhoods hoping somebody will teach them how to rap or steal a ""Cadillac converter."" In any case, how close are you and Frodo to Mordor?" -You look like an apprentice peodo pirate looking through a telescope with one eye open one shut. -Pete Davidson after nine months with Kim Kardashian 😬 -Fuck cancer -You look like the unlucky child of Pete Davidson and Carl from shameless. -"Jesse, we need to cook pcp instead of meth" -You look like a jackass stunt gone wrong. -You look like Steve Buscemi slash Macaulay Culkin. -28? More like 48 -You weird -You're the brother Gollum keeps in his basement. -When Hobbits get AIDS. -Alternate Anakin today when Qui-Gon didn't save him in Ep I. -"Cross between gollum and a leprechaun, sitting at the bus stop outside a needle-use safe place clinic." -Ceo of crackheads -Merry Brandybuck has fallen on hard times. -VH1 Presents Where Are They Now: Quiznos meth Hamsters -It’s nice for Pete Davidson to see what meth could do to him without actually doing it -Ever find your ring Gollum? -Nice job keeping sober gollum! -Shouldn't you be out traveling with hobbits? -Mr. Robot with extra chromosomes. -It’s like if Charlie Hunnam was a meth tweaker -“My precious” 💀 -Looks like “rehab” is going well for Pete Davidson… - if Ellijah Wood got Smeagle pregnant you’d be their baby -“Master has given Dobby a crack pipe…” -Pete Davidson’s aborted fetus -Were you scared when Hanson told you to have a seat or were you too star struck to realize what was happening? -The face you make when your parents are siblings -Dude is what it would look like if Pete Davidson played Gollum -"""I've heard it all"" - -We can tell. - -Now are you Frankie Munez ordered off of Wish or Temu?" -I didn't know temu sold Pete Davidson. -Crystal Methew is 28 looking like he's 58 with 2 ex wives 5 child supports and drinks Natty Daddys out of paper bag after work -When did Gollum and Pete Davidson have a kid??? -If Gollum grew some hair. -It’s like if Pete Davidson took up smoking at age 6 to stunt his growth -Looks like Gollum enrolled in a positivity seminar. -"I don't use the term Crack Weasel lightly, but..." -"“Now, you’re telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?”" -"You look like Plank from ""Ed, Edd and Eddy""" -When you reach the point of using meth when you still got time to quit and turn it around but the physical effects is starting to show but not overtake just yet. -Methed out Frankie Muniz. -You look like the kinda guy who goes to prison because he enjoys the sex. -Life's already roasted you enough -You look like one of Pete Davidson’s cum rags that somehow grew to become a humane. -Pete Davison had a kid with Steve-O -I've seen better facial symmetry from stroke victims -This boy lost the stripes on his pajamas -You built like a lowercase letter -When people say Pete Davis is hot yet this is all I can see. -your actually....kinda cute -You look like Pete Davis with a missing chromosome. -Joe Dirt scrappy ass beard 🤣 -HEY LOOK THATS CARL GALLAGH- oh no its just Frank’s long lost kid -28 and you still can't shave properly -Not as big as his addiction to his precious... Meth. -Do the parents of this 12 year old boy know he’s posting pictures of himself on the internet ? -Damn looking like an inbred version of Pete Davidson -You look like you’d call a crack rock your precious -What you get when you order Pete Davidson from Wish -Pete Davison and Froto had a baby? -Human incel version of Gollum. 😂😂😂 -You look like a failed abortion of the YouTuber imAlex -"That’s methed up guys, be nice…" -"It's so sad to see, when the rabies has progressed to the second stage. Best to just put it out of its misery." -I think Chris Hansen already roasted you enough. -Smigel if he had good nutrition growing up. - what real life jesse from breaking bad would look like -If your face isn’t even symmetrical I don’t know why you aren’t humble to begin with -His family tree is a circle. -"Boy looking like that nigga from the lord of the rings that's says ""my precious"" ." -Still looking for the nasty Hobbitses? -He's the baby you'd get if Schmeigel butt-fucked Steve Buscemi -A mix out of Golum and Pete Davidson -Didn't know Smeagol had a brother -You look like the Culkins used their powers combined to form Captain Heroin. -I can smell this photo and it makes me want to puke -Dude looks like Willem DeBroke. -You remind me of Cricket from IASIP -Shave brother -Why do you look familiar? Are you a wintonite or a mecedian? Have you ever drank at the water? -You went into the gene pool when the lifeguard was off duty -This chick looks like she just got out on bond from the storming the capitol incident.. -"Imma be the odd one out, i actually find you kinda handsome lol 🤷🏾‍♀️" -You look like the crackhead version of Eminem -you kind of look like rickety cricket -Thank you for the comprehensive list of big things about you. -I’ll bet That shirt is what you tell the irs every year. -"Maybe you're just trying to compensate for something with your ""BIG EGO""." -If Ren from Ren and Stimpy was a person -Ah if syphilis had a face -Big ego?? Shut ur little 4 foot 11 ass up .. -At least you’re not a trans -comment -That immune system is running on thoughts and prayers -"Hilariously I saw your first picture and immediately thought “she’d make a good elf”. Then I saw the 3rd picture. - ->!I was wrong!<" -I guess even Middle Earth has rehab centers. -"To most of us, ""binge fruits"" means eating a lot of strawberries in one sitting. - -To this girl, it means ""every guy she goes out with suddenly decides he's gay.""" -I'm not an expert on regrets - maybe talk to your parents. -You’re built like a shirt on a hanger -I’m exhausted looking at your pictures. Even through photo I wish you would shut the fuck up. -Temu called. they want their costumes back -You look like that one anime girl no one faps to. -"Babe, I know we all miss Tumblr but you need to move on" -If frailty was personified… -"You were going for Manic Pixie Dreamgirl, but somehow instead we’ve got Barren Depressive Wood Sprite. Who can I contact at Temu?" -You look like an onlyfans “model” that dresses in only cosplay. Must be hurtful the only time you hear “I love you” from your parents is when they’re talking to the dog. -You seem like the kind of girl who will marry the first guy who says he thinks you actually look like Galadriel (just to get in your pants) then will live with him unhappily for thirty years while posting hateful things about men on the social media to your cosplay friends. -everything about you is flat -"Alright, you vegan pronoun virtue signaling weirdo. Where's the OF link you're trying to discretely advertise?" -Why you look like a grandma and a kid at the same time ? -“I asked AI to draw an anorexic Pixie with herpes.” -You look delicate like you fart and break a rib! -You *think* you have style -You’ve definitely googled “does cum have calories?” -You look like that weird kid in elementary school who ate glue. -I didn’t realize Ukrainian mail order brides are so malnourished -"“And for just the cost of a cup of coffee each day someone like this, who desperately needs help, can lie about eating a meal and spend your kind donation on heroine instead.”" -Proof that even below average women have massively overinflated egos. -"Piper Perri, is that you?" -"Any man you date must have child porn on his computer. Your body looks 12 and I felt uncomfortable seeing your ""sexy"" outfits." -Binge before you barf. -When you’re 15…and nobody tells you they love you -You look like borderline personality disorder. -Oh shit it's Christian Bale from the Machinist! -You’re one of the worse looking femboys I’ve seen -The FBI should hire you. Everyone who dates you is clearly into child porn -You don't regret overdose on vyanase? -You look like a cheap knockoff of the 70’s -Do you model as wall paper on the weekends -"I'm not sure how, but you look adopted." -My tinnitus hurts and I’ve never heard you utter a syllable -The only nature Elf that gets no Wood -"SSRIs, breaking up with your significant other and LGBTQ is not a replacement for having a personality." -"Yes, 24 is super late to not yet have gotten your period. The bucket of pig’s blood that got dumped on your head at prom does not count." -Everybody who posts here will be put on a watchlist. -13 or 30? -"So, are you being trafficked from east to west? Or west to east? - -What are your tips for staying comfortable in a shipping container?" -"You definitely walk plastic dolls in vintage strollers around town, claiming they're Edward Cullens." -"""Don't stick your dick in crazy"" -a photographic example." -You're skinny and still manage not to be attractive -I'm sure you'll have something to regret on any given morning after a typical night of whoring -"You have what is known as “Wednesday Limbs”….. - -Wednesday gonna snap?" -"You're the answer to the question ""If a photo could sound annoying.""" -You look like a flatter chested version of Elliot Page in drag. -Edgar Allen Poe looking ass -Those thighs are straight off a truck stop methhead hooker. -"I’d hit it - - - - - - -with my truck" -You look like the princess of whoville. -You look like you have plenty to regret already -Ohh look another boy dressed as an elf -"Looks like the lumber yard couldn't get the knots and branches out of the lumber. Maybe we can hang it in the doorway to the kitchen, but IDK if it'd make a good door... Might be thick enough to make a bat, or maybe a gun stock. If it's not too thin that is." -Her dog shipped itself to a taxidermist so it wouldn’t have to see her change again. -Probably shouldn’t take stimulants if they do that. -"Sure, i can give you something you'll regret" -Why are you allergic to eating food? -her nickname is 2x4 -You look like you e been waiting on puberty to come your whole life -"Aren't roasts supposed to be 18+. - -Let us know when you look like a lady instead of someone's annoying little sister." -You look like your favorite fruit is roasted on a spoon with a 7eleven lighter -The only thing more yellow than her teeth is her panties. -"If it wasn’t obvious enough, this person has an ED and is probably just making this post to get skinny “insults” when to them it’s a compliment." -"I’m seriously tired of all the super hot girls asking to be roasted, luckily this isn’t what is happening here." -That picture where you are outside in the snow it looks like you are wearing those braces for carpal tunnel. -You look like an elf prostitute -"this is one of those fake people on tiktok and ig that looks for paypigs - - -That's the roast. She's on the search for paypigs and will show her asshole to them." -She so flat she makes my ass look big and I'm a guy -I see your pictures and can only think it’s just another pick me girl trying to grow a following out of loser virgin redditors (onlyfans of course) -"Every picture with each outfit, I was like oh that’s what that outfit looks like being worn by a dead person/ghost." -The cost and availability of vyvanse is what you’ll regret later. Switch to adderall. Significantly cheaper. Source: it’s what I lived and did. -"Street: 5 - -Trailer Park: 2" -"Besides being everything I’ve never wanted, I will take one for the team. What is your number?" -You look like you smell like pee ...... -I’m pretty sure skeletons have more meat on the bone than you do -If the afterbirth formed into a human. -"How the fuck do you look 12 and 40 at the same time? Is your birthday just ""yes""?" -My roast is giving you advice instead because you look like you need it: stop taking Vyvanse. -"You know, if you cut your hair short, you could be mistaken for a 10 year old boy or a 30 year old lesbian." -"Nice try, Chris Hansen" -You look like a prostitute who gets no business -On the bright side if you were a cop you could go undercover at a Junior High. -How many shipping containers have you lived in? -"Never have I seen a photo that shouts ""unenthusiastic blowjobs""." -Every time she eats meat they realize that they are gay -My roast was stolen when you actually did have a pic with the stupid elf ears -Make a wish couldn’t even help you -Top 99% of only fans -You look like something that would come slopping out of my ass after binging on nachos grande and beer for 2 months straight -You definitely banged your step brother . -Looks like your pronouns are loo/ser -You've thrown up more fruit than a bath house glory hole. -"I would be afraid to shake your hand, I'll probably break every bone in your arm" -You ate a can of Pringles width ways and couldn't swallow -24 in elf years? -You look like midget Yentyl -You look like a hot muppet. Like Jim Henson made you for his personal use but you came to life and escaped. -Is that Cat German? -Like fucking a bag of Coathangers.. -I’d say you look like a powdered donut but we all know your hole is a LOT bigger. -Her mouth is so wide and so straight.. I can’t tell if she photoshopped her face or if it’s real -Going to be crazy cat woman in half a year -Poster child for the benefits of purging after you eat -Congratulations you have been discovered as the new flatness standard for scientific dimensioning and tolerancing. Truly impressive. -"Tell you what nobody is going to give you that you regret later, pregnancy…" -Five dollar Footlongs aren't five dollars at Subway anymore. Looks like inflation has hit you the hardest. -Why the square face? -"Hey, congrats on your new gig as the themed contraceptive Planned Parenthood is handing out this month! - -Guess they nixed the Casper the Friendly Ghost themed Condoms (licensing fees womp womp), so they just started handing out your pasty headshots with handfuls of last year’s candy corn. - -At least one thing was hard that night…" -Great Value brand 'Zelda.' -Why give you something to regret if you will forget it in a minute? -(I have a) Dick-ole Kidman -These pictures belong in the picture dictionary definition of 'entitled and combative princess.' -Prescription meth-whore -Her life is entirely Elf on the Shelf cosplay. -Yo Vyvanse is the tits. Not like you would have any frame of reference. The joke came later. This was a verbal high five. -I took a dump while checking you out... -"I can't tell if you belong to the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Game of Thrones universes." -Hi little girl are you lost? Does your mammy and daddy know you're a bony little slag? -In that last pic you look like one of those gangster bug aliens from Men in Black -I bet you have an Etsy page and sell dr who unauthorized merchandise -You cosplay as a skeleton everytime you’re naked. -you’re about as unique as a paper towel -"Has an only fans claiming she's 18. -Dates a minor and buys him alcohol. -Said minor drinks the alcohol to numb the pain of fucking a skeleton." -You look really nice for a flat plank of wood. -"The first images you see when you Google ""mail order""" -"You think you have style, and your ed is your entire personality." -You were made by Jim Hensen. -"I bought a small plastic skeleton for Halloween yesterday, which still looked healthier." -Russian slave of model expression -How can you look 13 and 83 years old at the same time? -Jenna Boretega -You look like a mix between spoiled child and broke adult -I'm not going to roast you but you should check out Azstarys -"""We have Mary Jane at home""" -Hobbit on psych meds. -You look like the last brain cell before making a bad decision. -Ironing board build -"Send me some nudes and I’ll give you something to regret later. - - - - -🤣🤣" -Shouldn’t you be in court losing custody of your kids right about now? -Looking fat in the last photo -Your nickname is star ⭐ .... Because you have absolutely zero curves and never appear in sunlight. -I bet she has hairy nips -I feel like you're the type of person who would absolutely love rearranging your tupperware and be annoyed if the toilet paper isn't sitting right -You can be the MJ in Spiderman. Or can be the goblin as well. Hard to choose. -You look like a mouse. Except do mice live to 24? -"She used to do drugs. She still does, but she used to" -Lisa Foiled again -You the typa girl who says her cat loves eating vegan food -Since when is snow white transitioning? Everything is being ruined... -Hard to roast -"The Sun saw you and was like ""nah, not everybody deserves vitamin D""" -President of the ibtc -Definitely one of the girls every man's girlfriend is ok with them hanging out. 10/10 not worried she'll steal a man. -How is it you look 12 while simultaneously looking like a frail old lady? -What's with your forearms? Every picture has sleeves. Are you coveringnup some scars we shouldn't be asking about? -"First picture screams member of some weird religious cult. - -The rest scream another 0 subscriber only fans page except guys that like girls that look like 12 year old boys" -A is for apple -I regret looking at you. -"Damn... Hermione and Dobby fucked. - - -And had you" -"Little boys shouldn't be up this late, go back to your bed." -"Ewww, your knees are gross" -You look like you were really obsessed with mimicking Ariana Grande at some point of your life. something about the facial expressions -"You look like you played in ""Lord of the Cock Rings""" -I hate you -You look like a failed attempt at a retry for the make a wish foundation -i bet you give anorexic girls body confidence -"She only deserves the good old ‘every carpenters dream flat as aboard and easy to nail’, no need to put efforts in roasting her." -"Oh, look, another quirky redhead who thinks she's silly and cute. Binge Eat some protein for once in your life." -I bet you have lots of cats -Will never have as much regret as your parents do since the coat hanger failed. -"You definitely have a future, but it's on only fans, it's not for everyone but I'm sure you have a few family members that can support you, definitely a few 1st cousins and an uncle." -Junkie of winter-land -You saw Luna Lovegood and decided that was gonna be your entire identity -esceleto from nacho libre -"Nice try, but 24 year olds have gone through puberty and don't look like a 10 year old in makeup." -"Buy dresses when your 13 that you will ""grow into"" but you never do" -Do your parents know you're on the internet? -"Somewhere, there is an epidemiologist frowning at a map with a sea of red lines converging on the alley behind your local bar." -Do your parents know you're here? -So when a guy rejects you what's your go to fuel for when you eventually try ti burn his house down -"If you were to swap places with Galadriel you'd be described as ""The weakest and ugliest of all the Elves that remained in Middle-earth""." -"Your deceptively large vagina ruined my couch, and we still haven't found the center cushion. Could you check?" -Even your (severely inverted) nipples don't want to put up with your shit. -Mental illness is OPs only personality trait -All of these outfits are something to regret later -You look like you avoid the spaces between floorboards. -Vyvanse? Couldn't even get real speed? -I Love Your Beauty! -"You didn’t need to tell us you take stimulants, you look like the rake with long hair" -"I think if you were to change your clothes, it would help... - -Maybe cling film/seran wrap - but the black stuff you can't see through. - -See, I'm helping!" -"I see your “going insane on Vyvanse” and raise you “Vyvanse is my medication to function properly” - -A Vyvanse bender? Come on… “whoa, guys, I’m tripping out on ADHD meds and study aids!” - -Oh please … meth or nothing, pussy." -Vyvanse is not a good look for you. -"I'm typing this with braille build in keyboard on my phone - -You're pretty" -You look so fragile that a breath of wind would snap you in half. -Rap sheet of mental illness longer than Diddys. -Every photo has her arms covered so we know how else she tries to get attention. -Never seen someone that looks so young yet tired and haggard at the same time -Snow White and the seven abusive exes -You look like an unattractive Pam from the office -Elf ho3 -"I scrolled through your photos for inspiration, not even worth a crafty work toilet wank" -You look like Galadriel -"You look sad when you smile, and that's the only expression that betrays even a single thought in your head throughout all 6 pictures. You should eat more meat so you can fill out those cosplays better, not that you've got anyone at home to show it off to anyways." -">pls give me something to regret later - - -You want *more* STDs?" -What are you? -"You take the meds to make you grow to normal human size? - -You look like you're a live doll" -Pippi Longstocking meets Elsa meets Legolas…not the look I was expecting. Once again you have disappointed a man. -13 year old trying to be “adult” -"I gues if you like roasted bones, otherwise i would suggest broth" -Food must a be memory in your world -"Great, just great... another unloved kid, who has ADHD, can't decide their pronouns, and is just one micro-agression away from becoming a statistic... why do they always flock to this page?" -When a lockpick decides to be a person. -You look like Kirsten Dunst if she had AIDS. -"If I get arrested for looking at kiddie pictures because of this there will be one saving grace, won't be allowed to look at this post ever again... Thank god!" - Balls deep -You're so boring that you've jumped on every Instagram trend to try look like you've got a personality. -You look like you have a very successful career pretending to be a 14 year old on To Catch a Predator. -You look like you were kicked out of a wiccan group for being too much -How does it feel knowing all the men that hit on you are only doing it because you look prepubescent? -How do you manage to look 42 in the first pic -I’m sure there’s more than enough regrets rolling around in that head of yours -You look like the Brits exhumed you in Egypt and reconstituted you in London…. To stand in Ripleys believe it or not. -You just look boring -"You look like the ditsy, innocent girl who doesn't realize just how rough your first day of work is gonna be on the black casting couch." -24 going on 11 -Who the fuck posts images of a 10 yo on Reddit asking to roast her >:( -Do you still hang with the vampire that turned you? -"It's impossible, you're too cute" -I’m guessing that you’re the kind of woman that has your boyfriend take thousands of photos and having to see each one right after it’s taken only to keep the first one that was taken. Also I feel like a ball gag would be necessary just to keep you from info dumping on the most random topics. -" -She seems with someone who’s heart wont fail because there isnt much stuff where it has to provide blood. Thats why she makes sure to crush others people’s heartfelt faith in her" -I've seen more meat on a butchers knife -"Does people ask you ""why the wide face""? instead of ""why the long face""?" -Why does your face go from square to oval and then triangular? What geohexism are you practicing little nornir? -онлик качаешь да? -Looking at your depressing slideshow made me feel the same as if I spent 3 hours talking someone down from the ledge. -I see 15 cats in your future. -"not a roast but if vyvanse is sending you into mania you need to see your doctor and have your dosage lowered. too much of any stimulant medication can be really dangerous for your body and mental health. also I think ur really pretty. - -I'm already anticipating the downvotes so go nuts yall" -"Ginger and autistic, the gods have already been cruel enough :( - -Don't worry, life won't always be so lonely but get a dog instead of cats." -"You're trying hard to be Mary Jane from Sam Raimi's Spiderman films, but even Peter Parker wants nothing to do with your annoying ass." -You look like a 5 year old that dressed herself for the day -You’re giving anorexia a bad name. -"For those confused, she means 24 dog years." -idk why but you look like British food -"I mean, you don’t have enough to regret already?" -That one ring Frodo easily passed up -I think your voice is really high pitched and nasally and annoying -You look like you were born and raised in a basement. -You look like you can only attracted creepy older uncles -Maybe stop tweaking your dick off on Vyvanse and eat some food. It couldnt hurt. -Curves like a toothpick -"Like a hobbit that had too much pipe-weed and is now going through some serious withdrawal. - -I knew you were a cat lady before seeing the last picture, because there’s cat ladies and… cat ladies… if you know what I mean." -You should try cosplaying as a well adjusted person with friends who respect her. -"If you are going to be a meth head you need to start eating more. - -$5 blowjob by something resembling a skeleton with skin is not a good long-term business strategy." -Why bother? Your regret will never match that of your parents. -You look like you’d marry a leprechaun -Sabrina the teenage witch lookin ass -"Lookin like an Epstein ""model""." -"With eyes as crazy as yours, you’ll forever be a practice girl." -You look like an elf from the skid row of middle earth -a predetor's wet dream -"Marry me, that's enough punishment" -"Not even a roast on you specifically tbh, but good example of why millennials are considered the last truly hot generation. Too much artificial beauty and it feels like your brainwashed by cringe modern influencer culture. Also you look like a girl who has like 40 meds, one for each feeling that she want to have at any given moment." -14 looking ass -How can you look 14 and 50 at the same time -I knew some elf shit was going down seeing the first picture. F. -ur really cute -I thought they cured polio 🤔 -F24 is that as in how tall u are ? 24 inch’s get yaself a fishing rod and sit at the end of your pond -Why is one of the pictures just a white forrest? -"But, what about that more than ample chest?" -As beige as beige comes -I can tell you don’t smell good -You look like a 12 year old -You keep your arms covered cause you sliced them up like a dumb bitch -"You have that look of ""Some stalker sent me a bomb as a gift""" -High maintenance only child that was always told she was a winner. -"Picture 3 was bad. Picture 5 made me gag. - -Attention-seeking and fatherless behavior." -You the kind of girl when you call I won’t even pick up cus I know you’re going to say shit -I was checking your photo and the FBI knocked on my door. Wish me luck guys! I took a bullet for the team. -Do your parents know where you are? I'm calling the school. -Hiding your track marks? -Is it even a chicken? I mean where us (her) chest she looks like a he -You aren't a fairy or an elf -You could play the antagonist for the next orphan film -what do you have to regret you a p and t all boys and men want that. -Every one of those photos is something you can regret right fucking now. -"You look like you would be high maintenance, but your breast size does not warrant such treatment" -"24 my ass, you look like a minor.." -I bet you think you're a model. -"I met this sweet girl once, nicest girl, I thought she was just drunk but turns out she's just manic psychotic and you remind me of her." -"I'm afraid to roast cause I don't wanna catch a child abuse case. There's no fucking way you're 24, I'm sorry lol" -Eat something other than fruit. You'll stink like Steve Jobs and you look anorexic. Showering helps too. -There is nothing to roast. This is an attractive woman. No material here. -You look like you're in a tinkerbell porn parody -Man. This post just makes me really really sad. -Looks like you put a couple vyvanse on your chest as well. -"I can’t roast a 10 year old with an eating disorder. Now get back to business with your froggy phone, the world needs you." -Pic 6 was taken the moment you learned that Kermit wasn't leaving Miss Piggy for you after all. -"When your fuckboy tinder dates ask what you do for a living I'm guessing you say that you're ""fun-employed""." -Who let their pet wife out of the basement? -Who let their pet wife out of the basement? -Who let their pet wife out of the basement? -Maybe it would be good to not only binge fruit but also eat something with a bit more calories -Nice Elliot Page cosplay -"What's your bra size, tea-cups?" -Tattoo your birth year to your head before you send someone to jail. -Is it possible to get to know each other?😄✨ -I bet you live and amazing life and can hardly refrain yourself from telling everyone all about it. -You look like a pick me girl who no one picks. -"Save some of that vyvanse for your next boyfriend, he’s gonna need it to be able to not look away from your face during sex" -Ooh look at me I’m an elf ain’t I hot in my cosplay gear…Noooooo -never knew a wall can walk -"You look like a future meth addict, the type of person to blame their lack of personality due to being a fiend for Vyvanse." -You look like a sick Victorian child -You look like you nut off squid porn -Would but I'm incredibly desperate -OnlyBangs -"It looks like you will later regret everything you do, so no need to add more." -You look like one of the later signs of autism in women. -Vyvanse fucking sucked -The last picture reminds me of Smokey taking a shit -Ur flatter then the wall behind you in literally any pic -You look like your vampire dads are Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. -Who let their pet wife out of the basement? -She DEFINITELY seen Daddy doing the deed. And she's still wet. -Just drop the OF link already 🙄 -Where bewbs? -Pale white and her seven cheap knock offs. -Eating disorder barbie -24 going on 12 -You’ve done plenty in these photos to regret already -You look like the type to use your mental disability as an excuse to stay home and collect ss. -If syphilis wore clothing -"You seem like the type that thinks their quirkiness is cute but it’s actually annoying AF. - -And girl we know you love to binge fruit eat a sandwich damn." -"“But I finally have 3 followers on only fans” - -Her dad -Her brother -And her uncle" -You might wanna binge some meat with that fruit because I’m 99% certain a strong breeze would carry you 3 states over 💨 -"That second picture looks like she started in one of the frozen movies. I think it was titled ""Let it hoe, let it hoe!""" -You look like I’d drive off without you after our date at the ren fair. -"Playing invisibility with the snow, eh... I bet your friends and relatives prefer fall season to take you out." -Usually implants solves most of the shit you’re reading here in the comments OP -comment -"Real life, grown-up Butters from South Park." -You look like you have weeks to live. -You look like the type of guy who buys his underwear from goodwill -I bet you whine when you speak. -I was having a pretty shit day until I saw your picture and now I feel so much better about myself. -Whelp! There’s a reason that apartment in Chernobyl was cheap… -Freddie Mercury Poisoning. -"You seem to be in a Halloween costume contest where you went as a sex offender... - -You'll probably win 🤔" -"Nice try, Scranton Strangler" -Here’s a future contestant on the hit game show *To Catch A Predator* -You the type to eat your chapstick -"Actually, I think a third grader could hurt you." -I’ve seen 40 year olds in leper colonies with more hope and game than this guy. -"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice...🤞" -How many cancer treatments have you had so far? -You look like you’re required to tell your neighbors that you moved into the neighborhood -"Holy crap, you’re right, I can’t do anything to you that hasn’t already been done. - -I might not even be able to sleep tonight." -Dollar store Simon Pegg -Wearing a tank so we all get 2 free entry to the BB-gun show -"Did you get a rebate on your tattoos, since they are covering such a small surface?" -Bill Cosby’s Roofie dealer. -"I would say I feel your pain but I'm 5'8, 37 and balding since I was 16 and I still have more hair than you." -Gollum meets a state trooper with a Napoleon complex -"""You can't hurt me"" is what you tell all your victims who try to fight back." -Just admit defeat and shave your head already. The random stray hairs make you look like a smooth scrotum. -"Taggert, shouldn't you be keeping Axel Foley out of trouble?" -"Bro shave it off already, what are you clinging to?" -His dream is to play in a jug band. Since no one will let him play with their titties. -Just shave your head dude. /not a roast -Something in your eyes screams that you really love the pain. -You're the type of person that people keep their Animals away from. -I bet you have a favorite Crayola flavor. Green. I bet it's green. -"I can't hurt you? - -BROTHER I DON'T NEED TO" -I hope you’re funny and have a good personality -What also wouldn’t hurt is just shaving it all off. It would make your face look less punchable. -"You look like the ""after"" pic in a cancer promotion." -OP got the No Pussy Blues -"No need for roasting, life has done enough." -I could forgive all that if not for the horrible Gyarados tattoo. -"I can't even roast you, i just wanna help you brother. - -First you shave off that shit on your head you call hair - -then you either grow a proper beard, or shave off that thing on your lip - -And then you hit the gym, leave the gooncave and get some sun on your face" -You stand accused of attempted mustache. How do you plead? -No but the dads at the playground will if you show up again -Dr Phil over here showing his teenage dirtbag photos -lol we don’t have to hurt you bud… at this rate your gonna start doing it yourself pretty soon… be sure to update us -"We know we can’t hurt you, you’re clearly on heroin" -He hasn’t been laid in so long he’s crying out his backed up semen. -Damn man. That's the longest run of chemo I've ever heard of -Just shave it. You look like you should be a monk in the shire. -"Bet you watch goose Wayne reels and it makes ya good and reassured ya soft wiener not hairline having ah - -…ugh balding is a bitch lol I’m in the same boat" -"Do you wish you could be taller or 11 year old’s could be older? - -You look like Eric Stoltz’s dick. - -You look like you just got done being jerked off by Nick Swardson before he gets arrested on Reno 911. - -You tell people they can only LOOK at your bicycle. - -Nobody would sell you drugs so I guess you just look that way. Sorry man." -"I'm sorry chap. I saw your age and height and I feel to bad for you to say anything mean to you.... - - I'm literally actively suicidal right now, and I feel bad for your face..." -Perfect heads don't need hair! -David spade if he was shorter and wrote backwards -"Damn, he's dyslexic, too?" -Evan Peters if his parents were siblings -"Your hairline has receded so much I think it's technically a ""great depression"" hairline at this point." -"True, no one can hurt you as much as the daily look in the mirror." -"Gollum, 2 years deep into the goblin cave and meth." -Ill be waiting for the True Crime documentary to come out about you on youtube -Genetics. That's what happens when a brother and sister have a child together. -"**Here's a guy who is procrastinating, day after day after day on taking the razor to his melon for rebirth into becoming a badass, smooth noggin, respectable bitch.** - -**Take your time nerd. I love a good laugh.**" -get a vitamin deficiency check... may help with balding -I always felt bad for guys who went bald young. -You look like an extra from The Dallas Buyers Club -"I can't hurt you,but your genes can" -"This is Charlie Brown. -This is Charlie Brown on meth. -Any questions?" -The scientific proof that pre cum can still result in pregnancy -I read your height as you age and believed it -His breath is so bad when he gives a blowjob it counts as anal. -We don’t have to hurt you. God already did by making you 5’1 -If Simon was Pegged -Just shave the chin to complete the look. Then you need a dingy van and a bag of candy. -"5'1""? That means ANY joke on you is a low blow." -Next episode of to catch a predator??? -"So the roasts are amazing, but legit shave your head and grow out a beard. Will make u look waaayyy better (coming from.someone who has been balding since 18)" -"“Woahhh, hey ya fellas. Shut up Butters”" -Home Alone: Forever Alone. -We’re off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of Oz.   Falalalalalaaaaaaaa -"No problem, I am sure that one day you'll find a nice lady Anglerfish to latch onto and feed directly from her bloodstream." -"Many men develop bald spots on the top of their head. You developed them on your forehead, cheeks, arms, and fingers. Seriously dude, you look like a squirrel died on a freshly resurfaced hockey rink." -lol -"No need for it, you will be roasted by the cops in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…" -Damn obviously you never got your pen license 😂 -Omg...what did you do in a past life to deserve this shit. -That’s good stats in the Appellations. Not sure if your female cousins will consider marrying such a short fella. The Dirte’ name may end with you. -You're right. I can't shoot that low. -Either a small midget or a big fucking dwarf? Either way I’m sure you’ll make a great kickstand for Shaq’s dick! -And you regularly engage in anal sex with other men -"Oh man, where do I even start? You look like you’re halfway through a “before” picture for a hair restoration commercial. That mustache is so wispy it probably flies off if someone sneezes too hard. And that “tattoo” on your arm? It looks like something a 12-year-old would scribble in a math notebook when they’re trying to be edgy." -Jeffrey Dahmer with undiagnosed cancer -"You could be walking towards me in a tuxedo and I'd still look around for your cardboard ""anything helps, god bless"" sign." -You somehow look like bacteria -"Hey brother, why would you do this is my first question. Second, go Bruce Willis on the hair and lost the 'stache." -“you can’t hurt me.” i’m wheezing -You could be in breaking bad but one of the characters that never leave the basement. -Look on the bright side... You'll never have to worry about STD's. -"-I’d make a joke about your hair, but looks like life beat me to it --24? Pshhh…. My guy You at least 43 --It looks like Ellen DeGeneres and Mr. clean made you. --You and your Dad Mr. Clean. Talking bout “bald is in.” --You holding the last nine hairs on your head hostage. --Got more hair on your balls than you do your head. - - LOL jkjkjk all cap" -Gen Z really is aging like milk -This is a weird way to use your Make A Wish. -Joe dirt? You’ve aged! -Sorry I just don’t have the heart … -Dude looks like a long lost Habsburg. -Why do all the trans people come to roastme? To see if they pass? Like….. you don’t pass dude. -"I'm sorry dude, I don't even wanna roast you, life done that already." -"I can smell you through the photo. - -No woman will ever want a 5'1 baldy locks ever but if you do get the opportunity please use protection to avoid passing your genes on to someone. No one deserves that." -This is legitimately the first one I’ve ever seen where it’s just not even worth saying something funny I just honestly feel bad for you bro. I wish you nothing but the best man. Your existence can’t be an easy one. -But just think you've got it made if they ever do a remake of the wizard of oz -Nice dik broom. -At least you have those sweet ass tattoos. -I’ve never seen an albino albino before -Luckily you got a really cool arm tatoo -The human Newport short -Tihs pid gnikcuf -You are loved❤️ -You have very kind eyes and I would trust you with a bag full of money -You look like the substitute gym teacher who had to change schools because the boys felt awkward about you showering with them then crying in the fetal position in the corner. -And then you bought an iPhone 🤣 you could have bought rogaine and a better phone. -Dork -I don’t need to hurt you - with that hairline life’s been doing a pretty good job of it. -When you drop your lollipop on carpet. -Life hasn't been easy for young Draco since Potter defeated the Dark Lord. At 5'1 most men thought of and treated him like the Fem Boy he was deep inside. -"Wait, is that Fernando Bloom?" -dale gribble no hat -I know him....TrailerPark McTrash Fade. -Ok baldy -"Well, all you have to do is paint yourself blue and you’ll be a Oompa Loompa… with an indecent exposure charge…." -"I may not be able to hurt you, but the herpe sores under that mustache will." -Remember it only costs $22k to fix the hair -You look like the inbred son of Pete Davidson and Simon Pegg -"the top half of your head is 80 and the bottom half is 30, pick an age bro" -He’s the guy that blows up a building because the hero of the movie inadvertently put him in a wheelchair -The transformation from smeagol to gollum is almost complete -You look like you’d makeout with Joshua Block World of Tshirts -You look like you have a sensei that runs a dojo from his basement. -You could use keeps to help with the hair loss if you want -At some you you have to realized you lost the battle. -You are right. -You look as if you smell the dildos at the sex shop hoping to find a second hand one -You look like you drop loot more common than actual common loot -"It’s all good, I hear Mr. Clean started off the same way!" -Bro look like an animorph turning into an egg 😂😂😂😂 -"Ryan GaySling Blade - -You're a combo of Ryan Gosling in A Place Beyond the Pines except Gay and Slingblide" -Jizz-mopper at The Gathering Of The Juggalos (the only way you could afford to attend) -LOL 🤣🤣🤣🤣 -You’re as back woods at that “roast me” note is backwards. I bet you took your sister to prom. -I swear I seen this guy on an episode of “ To catch a predator!” -If ‘laughably nondescript ginger’ was a person. -You look like a kind soul -Grow a beard and shave the head and you’ll look more like everyone else with this issue as you’re not fucking special with the genetic hand you were dealt. -So dumb you couldn’t even hold the post it note right -Is this your actual look? Or are you cosplaying as adult butters from the South Park Post Covid specials? -"Does everyone write their signs backwards on these roasts? Just go ahead and shave your head dude, own it!" -You look like the Dollar Tree version of Joe Dirt. -You look like Simon Pegg's slow-learning fraternal twin... -Simon Pegged -Hide yo kids hide yo wife -You look like you use your own pee as skin conditioner -You are aging like sour milk on a hot summer day. -Simon Pegged -Future candy giver from a white van -He’s trying to fool us; it’s Kip Dynamite! He just took the glasses off. -You look like a trailer trash version of Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter franchise. -You aren’t from this world. Being Fae is nothing to be ashamed of. Embrace your power -How long did it take for you to alert all of your neighbors that you’re on the “I like to do gross and illegal shit to kids” registration? -You definitely steal from people and help them look for things you took. -"Tyrion Lannister let himself go, I see!" -I showed your picture to my dog and it died. Thanks a lot. -The moustache is an 80s fighter pilot but the hair is John that works at RadioShack -"Damn bro, why would you do this to yourself unless you'll looking for self doubt. Take some pride and be you without the judgement of others." -Don’t jinx yourself -Oh. Walmart version of Scott Grimes...or Scott Crimes. -Wait they let James Holmes out? -"I'm sorry chap. I saw your age and height and I feel to bad for you to say anything mean to you.... - - I'm literally actively suicidal right now, and I feel bad for your face... no" -"If Radio Shack was still around, he would be the greeter." -The malnourished personification of living in an Appalachian food desert. -Homie’s hitting his quarter life crisis! -I’m going to my room and paint HOMO things -Hey! You're that DoorDash guy who ate my fries! -"You’d think God would have given you the ability to grow facial hair that connects after short-changing you everywhere else, but he really was like *fuck this guy in particular*." -Phil Collins never made it to the Maury Show to find out he..WAS...the father -Someone was telling me about a “reverse tan”. Now I get it. -I’ve seen pimples with more to live for -I know you got a well in your basement -“Oh no not Chris hansen” -19 going on 60 -Grow a beard -The hair line could not wait to run away. -You look 14 and 41 all at once. -you look like a thumb -You look like the weirdo Johnny Depp picks up hitchhiking in fear and loathing in Las Vegas -"AND YOU'RE A GINGER!? Jesus Christ man, just end the madness" -"Up until now, physicists only theorized your existence." -You look like you’re in the middle of doing your mandatory sex offenders neighbourhood notification door knock. -"Unfortunately, your victims can't say the same." -"I loved your work in ""Get Out.""" -"Damn, David Spade lost his hair? Oh, well." -Basement ceiling... Shocking -I never believed in God until I saw you. That is some divine hate. -Are you almost done with the chemo? -24? You seem like 42. I think 24 is just what you tell the younger folk so there doesn’t seem to be such an age difference. -Back to the garden! -Looks like some one is struggling to keep their hair from calling away -You can literally pull off as the main character from the Nickelodeon show Doug who just lost it all in a divorce settlement with Patty Mayonnaise -"If we cant hurt you, the carnival will when youre not allowed on any rides" -OK we know how long you have been balding but how long have you been using Meth while watching Nascar -You could get added to biology text books as an example of a “genetic dead end” -"Bald is one thing , having your hair look like that is just fucked up ." -You are looking at just over a mile if you stack all the charges together. -Thousand yard stare. There’s nothing behind those eyes. Except for a receding hairline. -I could roast you but I don’t like punching down that low -Holy trailer park!! You look like joe dirt’s bastard love child. -Don’t worry when you end up as a trans women your hair grow back -"Tintin's American cousin, Methmeth." -You look like a 30 year old guy acting as a 17 y/o for an Adam Sandler movie -You look like me (yes that's a roast). -"5'1, but your hair is 5ft nothing. ;)" -"Looks like you have plenty to hurt though since you keep that sparse hair on there and not just shave it off to fully accept it. - -You’re likely gonna keep what little hair you have long into your 50’s, never recognizing it’s more detrimental to your looks to be extremely balding instead of just bald. -You’ll likely end up with a collection of caps to choose from, and you’ll likely never work out enough to get a decent buff bald guy look going. - -Basically what I’m saying is, you are gonna be a balding ugly Frodo until your 50s when you look like the short guy from Its Always Sunny" -When you are 65 you will look normal -Balding before you lose your virginity is a new one for me -If Drako Malfoy was a southern muggle -This is what Dewey from Malcom in the Middle grew up to become. -On next weeks episode of “to catch a predator”. -not the bore worms -I'm surprised you're still allowed to use the internet... -"You look like a Hobbit, but in “Sons of Anarchy”." -"I like how you didn't feel the need to write ""virgin"" in the description because with the picture of your face coupled with ""5'1 and balding"" was more than enough evidence" -"*scrolls down, reads comments* 'aw man his face can't be that bad' *scrolls up*. 'god damn dude fuck I'm so sorry '" -"Roasting aside.......let ALL that go then. The mustache being being the last to go. But shave that nugget clean, shortstop." -Loser. I was balder than you when I was 17 -"I get the point of this sub and everything but I'd rather you be around for longer. Therefore, I say this, you do you." -Your forehead has its own zip code. -Simon Pegged -Has to suck knowing even if you grew an entire foot you couldn't get laid.  -You look like we have 3:00 minutes to diffuse a bomb you planted in a bank. -This is what happened to Luigi after trying meth he went right down that drain pipe! -Can't hurt you. Shit your hair line did that for you. I swear I can land 747 on that bald spot of your's. Shit looking like high school drop out. -"Dude, you’re 5’1. Not only could I hurt you, but I could carry you around on my chest in one of those baby holsters" -Why would you not shave it off? -Wtf ???? Toxic avenger. -"If god exists, he really said ""Hey lets have this dude be born with no chance of reproducing ever""." -I don't know what I would have done if you didn't clarify you were balding. Acknowledging that doesn't hide your insecurities 👍 -You look like a boiled egg that cracked and had the goo come out and cook -"I'm 6'1"", 265lbs, and specifically trained to hurt people in the worst ways. - -Close or Far there's nothing you could hide behind, or in, that would save you. - -And if I ever see that Chester mustache near my kids, playground, or school, I'll specifically and relentlessly show you what my training is good for." -Only a few more years to be Doby the house elf. -"Hey there, Simon Pegged" -Can’t spell either -"And you hand writing is atrocious ( which means bad, since you look to have the reading level of a 3rd grader )" -Rattle snake tattoo you think you’re tough? You look like the practice bottom for the local gay bar -I asked ChatGPT to draw “Alien vs Predator” but it must have assumed ‘child predator’ because it came back with your photo -The amount of fentanyl in your bloodstream I doubt you ever feel anything at all -Hurt you? That would imply that I can even look at you… -For 5’1 you are kind of scary. Mostly in a “last thing she remembers seeing before everything went dark” kind of way. -Nah. I’ll wait for your post-HRT roast! -You probably felt REAL cool when you got that tattoo on your arm 🤣🤣🤣 -Your forehead is taller than you are -The one good thing about you being short is that there’s less of you. -I know your therapist is making fucking bank rn -You are like Benjamin Button but backwards. -Mom? -"We can’t hurt you, but I bet the court order to stay 500 feet away from schools and playgrounds hurt a lot." -Is 24 in the room with us u lk older than great ancient grandpa and u lk like a love child of 2 gays -"Your eyes say ""Love me"" - -but the rest of you says ""If you can stomach it""" -It’s good you’ve built up a resilience to emotional pain. You’re going to need it. -God is perfect and he’s already done the job. Nobody could make you worse than you are now -How do you look like both an egg and a baby chicken at the same damn time? -"I can't hurt you, but the used needles on the ground can." -"So you’re 5’1, must not hurt much to perform head." -"You're right, I can't hurt you. - -But a partly cloudy day would end you." -Someone I'm taller than finally lol -Mans not allowed by law within 10 miles of a school zone or 2 miles of public parks. -You look like you've been living in a game of Whack-a-Mole -Did they make you diluted sperm? -🥹 -How many people have you chained to a radiator? -Looks like Simon Pegg who became a meth head instead of an actor. -Absolutely the first person I've seen immitate Napoleon Dynamite's dad. How LaFonda? -Stage 4? -When did you find out you had the full blown aids? -The second sentence of your description is what the 9 year olds who successfully fight you off all say. -"No no, no roasting from me today, more like never though, lol. Have a good day sir :D" -You look like the kind of guy who sees a whole row of urinals and picks the one right next to me and tries to start up a conversation. -A fuck ugly version of Simon pegg. -"Why are we so obsessed with being able to take high-ish quality photos from our *cell phones*? I mean, I was about ready to go to sleep. Now, I’m gonna be up for another 30-40 minutes" -You made me feel better about myself. Thanks man -Life has already hurt you enough my man. -I hope you buy your sister a nice gift every Mother’s Day -"Honest advice, just shave it my guy. Seriously. It will not be worse than this. I don't get why some people hang on when it gets this bad, this is legit worse than just being bald." -Pray you never go to prison! You’d be the first one that the other inmates would pick on. -You definitely licked a few school bus windows. -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->I like to read, garden, bake and hike with my dog. I'm also a barn hand. - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Just because your father only looks at you in disappointment doesn’t mean that you can’t have other facial expressions -I swear I was gonna say you look like a horse girl before I saw you on the horse. -you look like avril lavigne's horse girl cousin -Central Casting catalog:  Angry Rural Lesbian -"Horse Girls are the OG basic bitches and you look like an OG Horse Girl. You’re like an onion but when you peel back a layer, there’s just more basic." -You look so painfully average that you came to r/roastme in hopes of someone pointing out something -anything- that’s unique. Spoiler alert: the search continues. -"18, five years ago. " -The female “I’ve seen and shoveled some shit” face -"You look like an only child who was raised by a single father who taught you only guy and farming stuff like fixing the tractor, drinking beer from the can, and haggling with the people you buy your cattle from." -How can you be 18 and 43 at the same time lol -"You’d be really pretty if you smiled….. - - -…..And didn’t look anything like you currently do." -The skull mask is a massive improvement over your chronic RBF. -You look like the Walmart brand emma watson -Did you fall from heaven … because your face is all fucked up -18 going 38… -Tonya “Doesn’t make me” Harding -You look like those 26 year olds in the 90s playing a teenager in Saved By the Bell or 90120 -Hey anal Lavigne Why you gotta go and be so constipated? -She looks at your cock like she’s about to punch the shit out of it. -If you ordered Melissa Joan Hart from Temu… -I bet you love that horse more than your own family -Head is so flat you could rest a pint on it -"You ""look"" like you could use some humor in your life" -Your transition is still in very early phase I see? -"She's got that vaulted ceiling bedroom, the skull mask, she thinks she's some edgy cool kid, when she's really a girl that looks kinda like an effeminate boy, but she gets to ride horses so someone she knows has money, so she'll never change and everyone around her will be too into the upscale life she has to tell her how lame and unappealing she is." -Barn hand is a funny description for jerking off horses. -You do unspeakable crimes to that horse with your mask on -"You look so cold and unfriendly...you spooked my testicles so badly that they both shot back INTO my body so fast...that they knocked the glasses off of my face, and the gum out of my mouth. - -Side note: Time isn't supposed to be a nail polish remover." -"she was the ""practice girl"" for the hockey team" -18 going on divorced mum with 3 kids -You have to be the OLDEST looking teenager I have ever seen!! -You look like Ellen Page's transition but in reverse -You strike me as someone who has a dating site just to find guys to peg. -You have resting and non-resting bitch face. Impressive. -Well at least you keep your room organized unlike your life -18? You look like the single mother of a junior high school student who just started dating a creepy ex-con named Wade. -Why do you look like a depressed librarian -Thought you were 37 in the first pic -18 huh. So you painted your nails when you were 16 I guess. Man you fell off kid. -"You look like a tired soccer mom sending selfies to her husband who’s off at a college football game with his buddies. Like “how does it look like it’s going,Carl?”" -You look like you blow anyone who buys you fries -"The funny thing about a girl who spends all her time in a stable. She's really not. - -On another note, how is the anorexia and childhood sexual trauma goin' for ya?" -"In Oklahoma, seeing a rider on a western saddle wearing a helmet is like seeing a person driving a car alone wearing a mask." -"You look like your dad really wanted a son, and you tried everything to deal with that disappointment." -"Y’all calling this girl a horse is unjustly cruel and totally uncalled even for this sub. Horses are beautiful majestic creatures that deserve our love and respect. With that said, pic #5 is the best of the bunch. Just needs a little more mask for my taste" -18 and already looking like a disappointed mom -You come out to your folks yet? -You look like a bus driver -"I'd call you ugly, but I think nature's already done enough damage. You're like a character from a horror movie where the plot is your furry existence scaring everyone away. Honestly, saying 'no one likes you' is an understatement; even ghosts would prefer to haunt elsewhere. And please, don't take 'go die' literally; we don't want you becoming a more terrifying ghost." -You would transition to a man very well. -"Everyone here is calling you a horse girl, I disagree... _aspiring_ horse girl is more accurate" -"Ummm judging from the pics and especially the equestrian snap…. Your real name is Benjamin or Fred, or some other oddly masculine name.🤷‍♂️" -What a handsome young man… -Look like your mid transition -I thought you were forty for a second. You remind me of a forty year old child or young old person. -"Good enough for a drunken Tuesday lay, for Ellen, I suppose…" -You look like a front office lady at a public school. -You look like I’d call you bro -Is this your 15th time turning 18? -"Apparently, ""18"" means ""45, divorced twice, and I spit out meth teeth every morning"" in OP's native language." -Evan Rachel Won’t -That fourth picture is make-a-wish-level sad. -"It's a good thing you're no longer a teen, that jaw-line would have every right wing parent calling for a nut-check no matter what sport you'd compete in." -Was riding horses easier after having your cock and balls removed? -Are you 18 in mars years? -More like 18y after jail -"The mask looks like a skin from a 7+ videogame, with you being a family-friendly NPC gang member that has 5 frames on screen and all of them involve having your backside kicked by the player." -18 going on 45 year old disappointed mom energy. -"You're in for a long life of dudes telling you to ""smile more""" -You definitely look like you have a can of Copenhagen long cut on you at all times. And a spitter 1/2 full in the cup holder of your 10 year old dodge 2500. -"Who's that random dude riding a horse? OH THATS YOU, my bad!" -Sarah Michelle Welder -In the horse pic you look like Shawn from Boy Meets World -If you told me that you were Kristen Bells unfamous twin sister that can't act. I'd believe you -you somehow look like a budget Amy Schumer -18? you're more weathered than that saddle. -God damn my mom looks younger than you. She's 53 -Wow you look manlier than I do and I was born a man -"I’m convinced you’re a robot, you have the same expression in every photo. Wit yo Sarah Connor terminator lookin ass" -The face of get help poster on a park bench -18 going on 30 with twins who youve had enough of and a hysband who is never home -Bro. you're 30. -You look like the girl who would go on a double blind date and steal the other girl’s date.😂 -">18 - -Lol yeah okay, for what the 12th time?" -If Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne had a baby -"That look just screams ""I fuck dead people"". Seek help." -You look like a 32 year old lesbian PE teacher -It’s insane that you’re only 18 because you look like your eyes look like you are going through your third divorce -I know this isn't a roast but you're really pretty !! Have a wonderful day and I hope people roast you : ) -MILF -You’re so pretty. Take THAT! -You look like a recovering Mormon that discovered butt-stuff. -You look like the embodiment of a gay English muffin -"I bet the horse cringes every time you straddle him, poor guy" -"You are the exact opposite if viagra, you make people's boners go away for good." -18? When 18 years ago? -"Your mouth is a mustache! I can’t stop giggling! - -🤭" -You look like you never let house plants die -Autism level 9000 -If you had anymore forehead you could rent it out for shuffle board games -18? You look like a divorced 40 yo who's been chasing kids around all day. -Facial expression look like you just farted -Why do gen z leave school looking 42? -Your resting bitch face never rests I see -Has never met a man who didn’t tell her she’d be so much prettier if she smiled. -You use a fake ID just so the age matches your 32 year old face. -They could press your face in dough and make bitch cookies. -Autistic lesbian. You know I’m right op -" -Lookin kinda german" -You look like you were a victim of Nickelodeon as a kid -You already have the realization of how much of a disappointment you’re going to be 20 years from now. -Pic 1 is what you expect on the first date and pic 2 is what you end up getting -Sprinting bitch face. -Looks like you need a dick in your life but settled for lesbian -You and your horse both rocking the same hairstyle.  -You look older than 18 but you’ll probably look like that till you’re 30 so it’s a win in the end. -"Are you allergic to smiling or does RBF just run on the family. You might have more humor if you removed the stick from 6 inches up your butt, now the facial expression makes more sense…." -Riding a horse is the only time that you are going to ride something -"This isn't a roast but I just find it weird how the horse, your face, and the ground are like exactly the same color." -I bet u ask ur partner to sit on your forehead. -"You look like you tell people "" ...and no, I'm not Rachel from Friends"" when introducing yourself to people and wonder why they don't laugh" -"Seriously question: why when some girls wear makeup, hand jewelry and they still look butch? - -Is it the less feminine clothing she's wearing? The way she smirks like a guy or her masculine body language? - -I can relate. How can we look more girl!? 😭" -I bet you'd like to Sexually dominate Timotee Chalamet -You look so common when defeated you definitely drop vendor trash. -Looks like you need a mortician -Even if you find some that bitch face isn’t gonna let you laugh -You look as bland as white rice and as intelligent as a dead clam -Your nail beds suck. Boom! Roasted! -Well if you ever want to disguise yourself as a male just know it would be easy -You’re an elderly citizen for 18 years old -Have you ever heard of a smile? -You're 18? Thought you was at least 30!! -18 going on 88 -buffy the noonewouldslayher -You and I probably need a good time with each other if you want another truth will look at you and I'm convinced it's just a matter of getting your permission -Huge forehead -How the hell you look like you're too young for me and too old for me at the same time? -The skull balaclava is your prettiest smile. -That forehead has it's own zip code..... -"""I hate being 35. I think I'm gonna post on reddit and say I'm 18 today!""" -Has your top lip been sucked into the void that is the space between your eyebrows and hairline? -18? You look like you're 35. -Desperately looking for a man. Will clean your home and do cowgirl shit too -If Resting Bitch Face had a poster child -Don't want to humor you too much because you look like a smile might crack your face. -Who’s the handsome boy in pic 4? -You look like three different white girls in one -You take selfies like a teenage boy trying to look cool for his crush. -I was gonna mention your transition but I am not quite sure on which direction it is going -"I’ve only seen a few hundred thousand faces like yours in my lifetime, your face is incredibly face, immaculately average in every way." -"Must of had a rough childhood, you look 30." -You're the maniliest guy in your friend group. -"that nail polish is keeping on about as well as you are, eh?" -You look like you can open beer bottles with beer bottles. -Closer to 58 than 18 -Too emo to smile yet too apathetic to touch up the black nail polish. If you cared any less you wouldn't even put on that half eye full of mascara -The chipped nail polish says a lot. You wish you were a man most days. -Smiles like she’s got a saddle horn stuck in her ass -You somehow have invented active bitch face -"U good fam. My bad I'm supposed to insult you, uhm I can't 😭" -Sabrina traded her cat for a horse. -"You are very attractive - -And that’s saying something because I only find guys attractive" -"I dont know what's pointier, your chin, your nose or your forehead. I'll bet your ex misses you everytime he looks at a quarter moon." -"Hay coach, what time is our softball practice tomorrow?" -You look cool. I got nothing. -"You don’t have a RBF, just a resting face…that’s frozen." -You're handsome. -What was it like being the lead singer of nirvana? -Pulled your hair back and turned trans -Dude do you need help loading your flannels and axe in your Subaru -I think you will look great in full beard. You can be that guy who seen and done enough shit. -"Nice mask it looks better than your face lil ms ""I was born on April 1st on a highway"" but the mask is pretty nice" -Even when you smile you still have R.B.F. -I've never seen an 18 yo look so much like a 56 yo in my life -"F(18) ? -More like M(27)" -You look like you'd ask to peg me on the first date. -"Like if I ordered Emma Watson on Wish, and they dragged the box behind the truck for a couple miles." -Your resting bitch face fits you to a T -It’s like Avril Lavigne glowed up after a trip to HomeGoods. -that handwriting isnt even remotely intelligible 💀(not trying to roast btw) -Look like you've seen about 18 18th birthdays. -"Get a manicure you barbarian. In pics 2 and 3 you look like a female cynical neck beard without the neck beard. - -Non roast. You’re cute." -The last outfit gives Fortnite skin vibes -You look like you are going to make a special someone terribly unhappy one day. -"You have the face and eyes of an exhausted 32 year old mother of 2. ""This is Draylen, he's our youngest. He's just at that age (this said as Draylen pitches onto his back for another of his famous tantrums)""." -You're so generic I can buy six packs of you at Walmart for $5. -"You need some soup in your diet. - -It helps with the chronical constipated long face you put in most of your photos." -You look like your buddies asshole older sister. -Nothing to say to roast. You are exactly my type. You look like a lieutenant commander about to whoop some privates ass for shooting at the water tower. -"Wtf am i supposed to roast, theres nothing to roast, maybe stop being so normal 😅" -That last picture makes your smile look the best! -Your glare is so scary that Death quit. Congratulations on your new job. -Look unhappy for the Joker's daughter -Couldn’t tell u were a girl till I read the title -I can’t tell if you’re REALLY gay or REALLY straight -you look like a single mother of two teen boys in her early 40’s. -Some sort of combination of a 50 year old librarian and an autistic teenage boy who plays minecraft all day -Very handsome -You look like the dominant lesbian partner -🗿 -That first pic looks like Gerard Way with long hair. -"Nope honey, you need a partner" -Last one just looks like if Ghost was a girl. -You look at least three centuries older than 18. Must be one of the escapes of Salum witch hunt -"Ah, yes. RBFs cousin: active bitch face" -You look like your major was in zodiac signs -$20 -It's all about angles and u sucked at ALL OF THEM -Is your dick bigger than mine? -"Come on, everyone. I'm sure she's got a ""great personality""..." -"If Kristen Bell and Kristen Stewart had a love child. -I bet you finish your sentences with -XOXO Psycho Girl." -Eeeeeeeeh eeeeeeeeeh duuuuuude looks like a ladaaaaay -U look 35 -The chin of a dude. -You look like the kind of girl who would prefer the horse to ride you -Reese Withoutaspoon -yo right nostril on a diet🙏🙏🙏 -You look like a barista who confidently makes a drink wrong and argues with the customer that you are not. -What's up Jay? Where's Silent Bob? -I think you're swedish -I thought Jonathan Brandis died 20 years ago. -Not sure if I should hug or dap you up -you look like a man -For a horse girl with RBF you sure have half this sub lining up for unenthusiastic handjobs. -"Horse girl tryna be edgy and different, but at the end of the day she's just a basic pick-me. Also, your doppelganger is Jonathon Taylor Thomas in the 90s! I honestly can't tell you guys apart. But hey, at least you're handsome, right? And why are you lying about your age? I truthfully thought you were 30 just looking at your photos alone." -You have that joker smile who hunt the children at family parties -"You remind me of jerryrigeverything, especially in the 4th photo. Not really a roast tho. He's a handsome man." -You look like every butch lesbian movie extra -you look like a gay white teenager -You look like you're 34. -You look about as much fun as a dead horse. I’m sure you constantly struggle to hold back all the horse facts swirling in your head in general conversation. -"Got it, 40 year old trying to look 18." -You look like future alimony payments. -Autistic Emma Watson -I would have thought you were a horse girl even without the horse pic -"Me: Can I have Avril Lavigne? - -Mom: No, we have Avril Lavigne at home - -Avril Lavigne at home: You" -"""if you keep making that face it'll be stuck like that""" -You look like you have a dick -I know 30 and 40 year olds that look younger than you. See a plastic surgeon. -Im oddly very attracted to u in a way -You a 6 out of 10 passable for a woman. Just get a new razor and shave closer. -Oh hey Justin! -"As a fellow 18 year old, looking at you makes me question time as a concept, I thought you were a thirty something year old lesbian who recently moved into a barn with their German shepherd and has been working at a firing range the last 8 years" -The resemblance between you and your brother in the 4th picture is uncanny!! -18 going on 30 -These look like proof of life ransom pictures -"Usually I look at the picture then the caption, but when I looked at your handwriting I had to look back at the title cuz I was so confused about what you wrote" -That RBF....dang. I know Marines who's stare could take notes from yours. -(M18) -Rudy Giuliani in drag !! -I wanna smash I’m black sup -She gives me cop vibes -I just polished off a 6 pack and you're still not easy to look at. -Is that sand on your bed? Trying to make your crabs feel at home? - Val Kilmer’s son. -Gayyyyyy ❤️ -"Once a tomboy, always a tomboy." -"If you weren’t a weird, horse-chick that looks oddly like my best buddy in Iraq, I’d be willing to put my dick inside you." -comment -So the STI you got last year came back? -Goes to Starbucks twice a day but has never had a cup of coffee in her entire life -Even sororities have to recruit grenades. -The closest you have been to having a boyfriend is hiding in the closet while your roommates get railed -You look like one of those kids books where they can mix and match different torsos and legs -Nice way to announce you have a tape worm 🪱 -I didn’t know elven men could grow a mustache -You’ve definitely put on your freshman 50 lbs. -If you were a character in Little Red Riding Hood you'd be the brick house. -You masturbate with your roommates Sonicare... yet your snatch is far from minty clean. -Are you in hospital because someone called you sir and you burnt out your trigger powers or did the crystals fail? -"19? - -I’ve dated older women that looked younger than you." -What the fuck does that even mean. You know people have no fucking clue what you are talking about right. -You’re not making anyone lose No Nut November -"Ah yes, another big beefy girl who thinks she's petite." -Idk what the fuck you do with your life. These pictures are all over.. are you a dude? Did you make a sandwich wrong? -You know when you look at a girl and you can just tell she’s a squirter… -You look like you’ve bought at least two dildo at a Renaissance festival -Any STD’s you can’t spell? -"You kind of look like Elizabeth Shue. - - -Sorry autocorrect fucked me up. Elizabeth's shoe, the last time she stepped in dog shit." -""" I.. I.. changed my address and phone number.. how the hell did you find me""" -Pics 2&5 got crazy eyes -Too bad such nice tits are attached to an ugly woman -Are these pics of you in a psych ward? -"Perhaps you’re not crying because you haven’t really looked at your ass from behind. - -Do you know how your last couple of partners, plus your brother, have all asked you to stand behind the kitchen island? It is that they still want to look at you with some sort of attraction. - -Wait until they start handing you large paper bags." -John Transvolta -Keep going girl! I know your spirit is as strong as your jawline.  -"After scrolling through your pictures ,I'm gonna be honest I thought you were a hooker that got beat up, then went right on back hooking." -Still not crying? Still stacking on the pounds though . -She broke the hot/crazy matrix. She’s a 4 but an 8 on the crazy scale. -You look like you're the hire in a movie as a background lesbian couple that serves no absoloute reason except to give the studio some extra few brownie points. -Your transition is going well. A few more dozen rounds of estrogen treatments and you will practically pass for a real female. -"You look like the kind of girl that says""What's shakin' turkey bacon""" -Were they draining the fat out of your legs? You put the stocky in stockings y do you try? -"For the love of mercy, why didn't you quit with pics 2,3 and 5? You really think the elfin ears help your case?" -still trying to figure out which way the transition surgery is going. Is it M2F or F2M? -First known case of self given staph infection. -"It doesn’t matter how many people you bring in to have us deflect, we’re still going to make fun of your man brows" -Says she's not alone... she's got at least 4 cats and a dozen different personalities to keep her company -"Who are you kidding or trying to fool here?? You absolutely cry every single time you hear the opening piano keys of MCR - Welcome To The Black Parade""" -You look mid-thirties. -What happened to your face in the last picture? Did your mirror retaliate? -lol oh damn those last two photos took a turn -"Sometimes I can drink enough for someone to be hot, but in your case, I’ll end up blacking out." -Fuck I feel sorry for whoever you trick into marrying you. You’re a goddamn walking problem -Another top tier practice girl -"You’re an anime convention 10, and a hard closing time 5 at the local bar in any town with under 20,000 residents that is also in the throes of a severe opioid crisis" -"Good for you, just looking at you I can tell you can take it on that chin. That chin can withstand anything." -Those freshman 15 look like they weren't alone -The good news is with a body like that you'll be the one handing out regrets not taking them. -There’s no tears coming out because they don’t want to have to see your face -Your eyebrows make you look like you speak for the trees -Clean ur dirty ass room -Congrats you have **Keratoconjunctivitis** -"So, you didn't get into sorority then?" -"Fellas, this is what we call a depreciating asset." -"Bro bust a nut on her face so hard, it left a bullet wound." -A year since your transition and haven't cried yet? You must be in some good drugs still then cause once you sober up from them you'll be bawlin after ya see what they did to ya. -Tatanka -So you made friends with your other personalities. I’d say I’m proud of you but I’m not. -You bust your head but tell people you got a hicky on your face -fraternity guys target people like you. -"Ah yes, I see you brought a good sized gunt this time." -I'm guessing that 40 is the new 19? -What happened dear? -"You’re a cute girl, what’s the dealio?" -"Where's Scooby, Shaggy?" -You’d be hotter knocked up -"Oh, look at you, the ultimate multitasker. One AirPod in, just in case the universe dares to call while you’re clearly too busy perfecting your “I woke up like this” selfie game. That maroon hoodie really screams “I’ve given up, but in a trendy way.” - -And that phone case? The sparkly burst design paired with a mystery piece of tape. Are you a minimalist or just holding onto a tiny piece of duct tape in case of emergencies? The cluttered backdrop is an artistic choice, I assume. Nothing screams aesthetic goals quite like snack remnants and half-empty cans sharing the limelight with your orange-handled hairbrush. - -The string lights in the background really add a touch of whimsy. It’s giving “Pinterest, but make it procrastination.” And that pink wristband? Bold move. Nothing complements a semi-clean food container like a pop of bubblegum fashion. - -But hey, you’re living your best “functional chaos” life, and we’re all just here taking notes. Absolute icon." -Fake tits ah -"Enough, David! The breast operation may have been a success but you still look like a dude with long hair." -"You look 9 and 90 at the same fucking time -You look like you have at least 5 dui's -You look like Chris from Mr beast. -Your shit looks like if I took someone straight out of an anime -You look like Chris Hanson's best friend" -Jerk off with glue again? -How many live inside of you? -Butch -The only way for you to get the attention you crave is to land up in hospital.  -Only you could turn slutty Halloween costumes meh. -We don't need 8 fucking pictures of you to know that your self centered -"There’s no need to roast you, judging by that nose most of your ancestors were roasted in WW2" -Give your mirror a deserved break from having to deal with your reflection -I would love you to come over and enjoy my cock and enjoy my girlfriend and enjoy the rest of the day and night with us -Lonely fans -I like the little red riding hood picture. -#5🔥 -Congratulations on your transition!!! -I literally saw the girl from photo 7 one post above -You look like a person who doesn’t own a pet because you think leaving them for work is neglect  -If Amber Heard and John Travolta had an angsty cringe daughter -You look like you've slept with at least 48 men. -"You look like you’d be a half decent fuck, if you actually put forth effort and didn’t just lay there like a dead fish." -Her toes are the most fukable part of her and they’re still pretty fucked up. -Those eyebrows are thiccc -"Those poke marks on your face say ""Why so serious?"" - - -Those fat hips and thighs don't say anything. It would be impossible to hear over the shaking of the earth when you start jogging" -Guys stay away from your roommates so they don’t have to deal with you -How in fuck's sake did you get a rugburn on your face? Scissoring accident Im guessing -The girl the hot ones bring around to make themselves feel better… -Your surgeon did a pretty good job with the sex change operation 🤌 -Classic scumbag cum dumpster -"Your boyfirend's friends console him by saying, ""I bet she cleans up real good.""" -Looks like little red riding hood are the wolf -My what big tits you have... i mean eyes... well shit. Everything about you is big. -"What the hell is that on your head?? Gross!! Oh, looks like you got a pretty bad gash, too, ouch" -Take a selfie of your face. That'll make you cry. -You look like the girl who does her math homework during lunch period -We need to start limiting photos. This isn’t instagram. -It has been a while since I seen such self restraint. You waited a whole year and still haven't started an OF account yet. I give it another year before crushing debt forces you to. -Lord of the Clings -You're friends with the sorority fridge? -That mark on her face is where the ugly stick hit her. -Poster child for noloxone. -Looks like you transitioned to female after transitioning to a male after transitioning from a female after transitioning from a male… -When did you transition? -These pics are like a standard deviation curve. Starts of low then high then back to low -You could smoke a cigar in the rain with that schnoz. -Were you born male??? -Ok bro we see the Adam's apple -19M ? -Trump won -Turning your head strategically to the side in every photo isn't hiding that double chin. -The Little Fat Riding Hood picture creeps me out. -"Going to an ER, having one lame ass friend and stupid costumes, you are a textbook definition of a dumb girl." -Damn. Those thighs are like tree trunks. Lose weight now or get used to Newports and no child support. -“I don’t normally waste time online but when I do eyebrows” -Gross -The Vulcan ears represent being overly optimistic. Vulcans mate once every seven years.  -"I can fix her - - -. - - -Oh, wait -- even the hospital couldn't " -You look like you went to Howard University during election night and left disappointed. -You can definitely identify as 19. What you can't do is convince us you're not a 42 year old crack whore who admits itself into a hospital to gain attention. -You look like you love to get drunk and beat your boyfriend at social events. -handsome woman. if your face had anymore dimples you could be a golf ball for halloween 🤷🏻‍♀️ -You’re my most favorite lesbian slut. 👍 -Please do not respond to this post. 🚫⏸️😁 -Definitely has more guys friends than girl friends -"With that face you shouldn't be crying -You should be dieing 😂😂😂" -"You are like the temperature,day by day you are expanding.." -If you were a hooker I'd ask you if you had change for a five. -You look like if putting crystals in your vagina was a person. -You look like a dude -I respect intersex people but I hate it when you they introduce as female. Don't do it again. -I mean you wouldn't be crying because your eyes look so dead inside already -"""Peter Griffin upgrades to lois after dumping her bigger nosed little sister 1 year ago""" -You partially aborted at 79 months old -One night stand material then bail. -"You look like you smell like saddle polish and hay, but don’t ride horses. You look like you go to a pizza place and somehow end up with spinach stuck in your teeth. You look like you wash your toys in the communal dishwasher." -Am I the only one who thinks this is a dude? -did you get your dick cut off? -You’re miasing an earpod -You're the default female character. -"You are a little overweight now.. it's only gonna get worse for you. Get married now because in five years, nobody will want that fat of an ass." -Out or rehab again? Hope to see you soon -"I feel like you have lost people that you wish were still in your life. Not just a significant other, but people who have crossed over. I'm not a roaster, I'm a reader." -Looks like you've been told once to talk less.. -Were you in the hospital cause someone had to ask you twice? -Holy eastern bloc eyebrows! Do you not own a weed wacker? -"Excuse me, your balls are showing" -Is pic #4 your boyfriend? Yikes -You’re going to die young so make the most out of your life. Nothing I can say can top how short your life is -"From now on, your pairing will be officially known as Roast Beef and Hollandaise Sauce" -Cute dress in 5! Where did you get it? -"The one ""hot"" photo you have is so countered by the other terrible ones it now makes me question my own sexuality." -I bet your farts smell like molded soup -"The hospital pic Threw me off, are you having male to female surgery or female to male?" -......like on a spitfire? -Where’s the link? -"If you actually are a female, you definitely leave your used tampons on the floor at a public restroom. Don't even argue." -"I looked at your pics first and thought based on your weight that you were at least 29, but then I saw you are only 19. My god woman, you are destined to be on my 600 lb life." -"A year since what? Way to not explain things properly, moron." -You look like you’ve done night shift duty at the hotel reception for the last thirty years or so. -You look like a troll hooker -Hold on Princess... what were you in the hospital for? I see an IV and EKG wires? -What's on your chest in the elf photo? -All the last pic tells me is that you don't listen very well -Just shows your tits now we all know you’re headed for the pole anyways. -"My lord and Savior Jesus Christ, bless this woman who is currently hospitalized, struggling between life and death over a medical condition that I cannot name. But I remember that through you, nothing is impossible, and I ask if you to get her up and walking, fully healed, in the mighty name of your son Jesus Christ who you sent to pay for our sins. God, glory be to you forever, and that our praise to you reaches longer than time itself. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray for your well-being, Amen. - -I now command, your illness to leave you, never to return. That you may be fully healed of any disease or medical conditions. Let this command be carried out in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen." -Well at least your father sleeps well at night knowing you're not getting d!cked -Just here to see how big her nipples are. -She is actually not bad beside the nose. 😂😂 Imagine the back shot...... -"1st pic is decent, but somehow every picturte after that got worse and worse." -"I can totally tell you're not alone! - -How many weeks are you and when's the due date?" -The big nose 👃 and the Adams apple gives it a way BRO -You deserve to be alone. -I roasted your friend before can you please tell her to not be such a pain in the arse -"You pretend to be drunk at frat parties in the hopes that someone takes advantage of you but still go home alone. I’m just kidding, your only friend is the foreign exchange student, you don’t party." -"Wow, that picture from your vaginoplasty is bold. That looks like a sketch place to have it done. Hopefully they saved enough foreskin so you can help bring back Nip/Tuck." -"Thanks to your picture #4, we can all confirm that the only bed you’ll ever be invited for is a hospital one. 😊" -Do you want a role for a sequel of Cats? Would save us a lot of CGI. -You could deep fry an elephant with the amount of grease in your hair -It's been a year since what? -So let me get this straight… mommy and daddy didn’t give you enough attention so you went to your uncle who gave you a lot of attention but got arrested for things you can’t talk about. Now you go to Reddit to get attention from strangers on the internet in the hopes to get unsolicited dick pics? Yeah very classy. Good luck with the next abusive relationship -You were hotter a year ago. The STI and 100 dicks did not help year cause - Ugly stepsister from Shrek? -I’ve seen what I’d look like as a woman and I’d still pick me over you. -I don’t feel like putting you in a stretcher again 🥊 -No Nut November has never been easier. -Are u OK now ? -You have enough foundation on your face to help save the world trade centre -19?! You look like you drive a minivan and do paint -n- sips. -You’re hot af and I want to marry you. Fuck you -Mike Leach... the coach from Tech... He was definitely talking about you. -I am sorry that you went to the hospital for lameitits. I see they were not able to cure you. Thoughts and prayers. -This practice girl doesn't yet know she's a practice girl. -All pics look like generated by the first artificial intelligence in 2019. -Your legs look like two huge rolls of bread dough..your whole shape does with a face of mashed potatoes -Did you take a foam sword to the face at the LARP practice? -Hey there Mrs. Potato Head -Onlyjayus -"Maybe you’re not crying because you’re not smart enough to process all that happened this year, and how many great opportunities you missed out on…" -You and your friend did a pact to post on here (I just saw ur friends post) thinking it’s gonna be funny put now ur both defintly sobbing -I hope the weather finds you in good health 🙏 -"Why are you talking like we should remember you? You’re the amalgamation of every white practice girl. - -Big enough to pull with minimal effort, but close enough to proportionate that one could imagine a hot girl over you while ass you’re up." -That towel rack is a disgrace and it’s all your fault. -Dobra si maco -"You’ve got nothing to cry about. The great thing about no one wanting you, is no one will miss you. I am sure your parents can relate ." -I guess you can get a trans elf? -Nice tits but it’s quite obvious that you’re going to be fat. Enjoy looking decent while it lasts. -You look like you pay people to check out your OF account - You look best when you’re sick -After about 9 beers I might not see a problem -Its sad that they attached a great rack on a body with that face. Kinda like putting a bumper sticker on a Mercedes Benz -You have male eyes. -Tries to look slutty for Halloween.. still unwanted. -Will never be loved -damn you gained a lot of weight since last time. -You look like barbie after a gutter grenade blew her world apart! -You look like the kinda girl that lets the absolute bottom of the barrel men treat her like shit -you lowk look like the guy that apparently everyone has seen in their nightmares -Manly Henderson -"Post Op, used to be named Troy" -"This is what you get when you don't get told ""I love you"" enough as a child, future ebaum's world amateur porn actor" -Sandwich artist in training. -You look like my future ex wife. ΟΔΗ -"In that pic you posted of you on the hospital gurney earing the black and green check pants, you look very much like Billie Eilish. - -Does your income compare favourably with that of Billie Eilish, or are you just a failed Billie Eilish look-alike with no real prospects for success or happiness?" -What a lovely piglet ! Almost make me think about zoophilie -Your face legit looks like a man. Are you trans? -"Aah I see! -Last time you did not meet your Oger yet Fiona - -Bad choice! - -Just as bad as the stuff you've been gulping and churning down your throat. -You already where not a princess. - -But hey maybe that was your goal..." -The mushroom print on the side of your face says it all… -You fat...don't sugar coat it cause you will eat that too! -Men don’t cry. -This time you're pregnant? When is it due? Tomorrow? -You still play Words With Friends even though you haven’t won a game since the pandemic -"Even the hospital won't take you out, that's how single you look." -"If you were a Super hero, your name would be Plain Jane." -YOU WENT TO MY SCHOOL -Goerga? -BRODYS SISTER -Why would you wanna cry tho -You look like Snow White after eating the seven dwarfs. -"Thanks for mentioning 19F, I thought it was 32M" -Worthless piece of fuckmeat aren’t you? -All jokes aside she's hot -❤️👌 -"You’re hot but in a 45 yo divorced mom of 3 kinda way. Like if I were in my 50s and overweight and divorced and then I saw you, I’d totally think I could get that." -I bet loads of people have taken one for the team for you. -"Lol, since you both posted on this, I will say, you're the better of the two, even with the rug burn on your face. Next time you do doggie anal, don't use your face to support yourself." -"God: How big do you want your nose? -Me: YES" -Cute face but in need of a labiaplasty -How much foundation did you use to cover your 5 o'clock shadow? -Aren’t you two in the same sorority? -I feel sorry for your wings -"U have a joker face, loving but with time a whole world of psycho in you" -Wow i've of women so ugly they look like they got hit with a hot bag of nickles but i've never seen one with the mark to prove it till now -Still haven’t figured out you’re a bottom yet huh. Like you denial is a strange thing. -"I'm sorry but no matter what I try, I can't Photoshop away those genital warts. I'll issue your refund in 2-3 business days." -Ah! The micro penis fellatio pose never fails. -"It's good you're acknowledging the voices in your head, you're on the path to getting better. First one you need to ignore though is the one that gives you fashion advice." -Even god rejected her and was like nah stay away bit..h. -"You're so ugly, Piccolo's special beam cannon changed directions because it didn't want to touch your gross stupid face. It left that graze on your dumb head" -"So, you need to have a mustache to join that sorority?" -Would. -MMMBop -3rd pic : Giving tough competition to a crossdresser sissy -Your eye brows look like repurposed pubic hair -29F* -They should have finished the job. -"You found an overweight Indian girl you can have bi-curious experiences with, congratulations" -"Carpet burn on your face . You took the phrase ""face down ass ""up to litteral ." -sue who did your reassignment surgery -Basic female looking for validation on the internet. I’m surprised you aren’t promoting your only fans. -I’ve fucked your mom. It wasn’t great then. Clearly someone didn’t pull out and we are graced by her strongest swimmer. Clearly your the one that didn’t leak back out. -Looks like you have a jizz stain on your fishnet stockings. Must have been a good day for your brother. -Has anyone ever told you that you look like only has (a stoner masculine lesbian) in drag -Lean into the elf thing. It takes focus away from that face. 😬 -"Just chill, Dude" -Your sorority sucks. -"It’s great that you added extra pictures to give us more material to work with, but who’s the guy on the gurney?" -I see you have a friend. You can let her go now. -"The worst thing about you is that you’re desperately seeking attention to the point that even fun criticism counts as validation to you because you inwardly don’t feel good enough or interesting enough as a person. You are acting as though you’re secure and fine with getting roasted but actually it reveals how insecure and anxious you are. - -There’s your roast." -She will let you cum in her! -I saw the other girls. -Look it’s lil’ red riding every dick in your hood -You’re pregnant? I doubt it. -"This is a Wild way to announce your bottom surgery. Side note, please tell your friend to keep her tongue in her mouth. She’s got it bad enough" -MTF -the duff of the friend group of 2 -Did you go to ren faire? -You must have been the first time a *doctors* put the DNR note on your chart. -You never alone if you eat your twin. -This your friend?: https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/4PUkhMGnIx -"Hustler Magazine < Playboy Magazine -Larry Flint < Hugh Hefner -Beaver hunt < centerfold -Etc" -The bra game ain't foolin anyone -You could strike a match off those eyebrows. -You're happy they added that Indian chick to your sorority so you so you're not alone in the realm of the unfuckables -"You need a go fund me page since pic 3 show you cannot afford pantie hose to replace the ones with runs in them. -Hopefully one day you get off the drugs and won’t need to repeat pic 3, 4 and 6-8. Just Say No to Drugs!" -"Not alone? Ah, I see you still have that ren fest dildo from last year with the hand crank. You look like you’ve been working those forearms" -I just rubbed one out over this. Thank you. -"Well, according to Robert Smith yiu shouldn't cry." -You look like you excel at IM sports and hook up with someone from the bar every night of the week there’s a half off deal and cannot remember the last time you valued anything about yourself or your existence. -The tits don’t make up for the mustache. -🪦🦄🦞🥹🫀😭 -I bet you’re mad there isn’t a urinal for you in the women’s bathroom. -Why is it always terrible looking people that want to be roasted? -What makeup can do. -Aww. That’s cool that you gals made a sorority for girls not pretty enough to be in the real sorority. -"19F? - -Are you sure" -You’re trying to be Arwen so hard but we all know the reason the haven’t won the Darwin awards. -"When they said ""be there or be square!"" I guess your face didn't get the message..." -Looks like you hit menopause half way through -"Wow, you are unpleasant to look at." -Your phone case looks like your future. Butthole pics as far as the eye can see. -"I know a certain Keebler Elf who ate way more than her cookie quota, now she can’t fit inside that hollow ass tree!!!" -"Oooof - -Really messed up" -Nah 19? Looking for a bf?!!??!!?! -These pics sound like the bar I used to work at and look like the guys that didn't tip. -You look like the fun one.. Meaning you get porked once and dropped. -Who’s the dude in the hospital bed? -Hear me out... -When did little red riding hood get fat ? The big bad wolf plumping up his dinner ? -Your tits are going to make you a single mum soon enough. -So gorgeous I would date you -Looks like the oopsie you try not wake up while leaving in the morning... -She couldn’t make friends so she paid for them and if she misses a payment they leave her. On a positive note her STI won’t leave her -Ugg … just no … -"You are one of those girls that was so close to be pretty, but it just didn't happen for you. O well, hope you are smart." -Cute for a sex worker. -Don't tell me you made emotional relationship with your brush? -Looks like someone told you to make them a sandwich and you said no. -"That hairbrush is the closest you'll ever get to a long-term relationship, and even as an inanimate object, it's looking for a way out." -John Travolta lookin head-ass -I can’t tell what you identify as -You need access to emotions to cry. -Won the eyebrow AND nose lottery. -You go to Starbucks and just order a Pup Cup for your nonexistent dog and go to your car and eat it in shame -"So your girlfriend already gave you a shiner, eh??" -In picture 3 you look like a trans Sofia Vergara. -Oh shit it is just an ugly girl sorority? -Life sucks. Roasted. -Ur chin is bold and big enough to defend u -Are you a man? -If you're 19 I'm still mid delivery 😭😭 -Showing off some your personalities -The store clerk wouldn't add a divider to our items on the belt r/selfburn -You look like you do only fans for free…. -"It’s not that you’re not crying, is that your eyebrows are soaking up the tears before they fall" -Your friend is so terrible looking she has to go to bars with you so she gets hit on. -"OMG—Did Foto#4 turn you into Foto#6? - -Thoughts and prayers your way—" -"Is this some kind of female version of revenge of the nerds? Lemme guess, you're booger." -"U look like u get offended on other people's behalfs, but then turn around and say slurs with ur friends" -The tide wouldn't even take that out. -You look like you'd smell like cavities -Someday you will refer to yourself as BBW. -"Wait, is that girl with you the jawn who asked to be roasted in another thread? Is this what your sorority considers fun?" -Is it bad that I love the elf ears? 😭 -You should make your eye brows even bushier because I still can see your nose... -Matt Geatz would pass -Classic duff in your sorority. -"*19M. -Ftfy" -"I thought elves were supposed to be graceful and elegant, not chunky and stomach-churning." -You look like you have granny panty lines in any pants you wear -Your parents still don't love you -You look like 2 woolly worms had a suicide pact to die on your forehead -"Not crying? You should get your tearducts unclogged, you are trying to hide your fat so hard it must've been building up there." -#3 little hoe peep -John Travolta in drag … -Next time bite a pillow. Facial rug burns are not a good thing. -"Op is one of those beautifully done art cakes. Very pretty on the outside. The moment you cut into it, she's dry as fuck and has less flavor than a piece of cardboard." -So you’re roommates with the soon to be deported… -I call bull shit. -Those voices sure do come in handy. -comment -You look like an air mattress when you start inflating it and only one section blows up. -That shirt has more structural integrity than a Boeing 787 -Thanks for keeping me employed! I work in a cardiac ICU. -Are those friends orbiting you right now ? -"How would I Roast you? - -I'd say **325°F** on one side and then **325°F** the other until golden brown" -Well needless to say your shirt can't find your dick either -Id say enjoy your 60s but you won't see them -"Not sure what’s more likely to burst, those buttons or your aorta?" -Stay away from the beach. People might try to roll you back into the water -Who the fuck makes that shirt? NASA? 😟 -Never go to the Faroe Islands bro -Is that your belly button or a blow hole? -Its a beanbag with teeth 👀 -When the baby due? -I finally found a fetish grosser than feet -We can all hear your arteries hardening. -Vince McMayonnaise -this is fetish content surely -"When you walk past the TV, I miss three episodes." -"Your ""friends"" are your moobs, right?" -So that's how Diabetes smiles. -Bro we can see your other posts 💀 -I’m sure they’re referring to your big smile and not that gigantic tumor -Imagine not being able to see your Weiner -Are those friends “Ben” and “Jerry”? -If bro went on a diet I think 4 undeveloped nations would have enough food to thrive for decades -Any woman who lets you fuck her doesn't have enough self respect -Guys I think this guy as a kink where you humiliate and/or degrade them.. -"God damn, he’s growing his own apron. " -I'm really impressed with the quality of that shirt! Not having all the buttons fly off like they were fired out of a rifle takes some serous quality! -To paraphrase Greg Giraldo; how can you be that out of shape given how often the townspeople chase you around with pitchforks? -"Part of me wants to roast you, but another part of me wants to take you to Golden Corral to observe you in your natural habitat while Sir David Attenborough narrates." -You have enough skin for two humans -The last time anyone had an oven to roast something of your size was Auschwitz -Only a house fire could properly roast this pig. -Let me guess…your name is “Buford”. -You look like you know the whereabouts of several missing children. -Fat guy in a little shirt. -That shirt is fighting for its life -"You include other people in your fetish without their consent, so while you're getting off on what you think is the worst thing about you, just realize that's pretty far down the list. The worst thing about you is what a shit person you are." -"They are not your friends, they just can't break orbit..." -Taking bets on correctly guessing when's the last time op could see his dick and balls. I say 1995. -Can't even roast this that's just disgusting as fuck -Perfect example of why you shouldn’t just have friends that tell you what you want to hear -That’s fucking disgusting -This is some humiliation fetish shit. Not into it -You look like someone who has a shaming kink so I’m sure you’ll get off on all this tonight -This is someone's fetish and I'm tired of pointing it out. -This gotta be some feederism/fetish shit 🤢 -American ? -The only salad you’ve ever eaten is potato salad -This dude has a weight-gain/hunilation fetish you all are actively participating in lol -can't explain it but I just know this is sexual for you -"I'm not interested in participating in your shame kink, dude." -Didn't know gainer was a sub. -"Roast you? Okay, let me grab the apple first." -You’re a spit and apple short of a roast buddy -"Not sure I'd have the time to roast you, would take f*cking weeks." -"Regardless of what your friends said, you had no right eating them. 😳" -Didn’t you work in an ice cream truck in the Spawn comics? -When you hear the doorbell you walk to the microwave. -This is the dudes kink. I wouldn’t comment. -"Is this another fetish post? - - - -Edit: don't look through the profile, it's a fetish post" -He hasn’t seen his penis in years -Bruh look at this guys history 💀 he needs mental help -You’re jerking off to this comment section rn aren’t you? -Guys got more chins than the Chinese phone book -Kevin by definition. -you have grown massive alright -"Bro you cant grow anymore, surely" -No space left to roast. -You add huge mass to earth -Roy Orbits Sun -This guy can only order prostitutes with a truck drivers license. -What er ya lookin at ma gut fer! Big cheeseburger walrus -Total eclipse of the dick -Where do they make blue tent wings ls in this size ? Looking to cover my roof -New measurement system unlocked: Jupiter -You buy your blood pressure medication from a horse veterinarian. -Bro ate those friends -Do you have a wife named lois perchance? -Tuck that it in. There are children around. Where's your self respect -You don't look like you need a roast. Looks like you've already eaten all the roasts! You've had your share and then some. -Do you have the matching diabetes roll on the back of your neck? -Last time you went out with your friends the science community called it the solar eclipse of april 8th 2024 -"Just for this post, he had to ask nasa for satellite pictures" -Dude needs GPS on his penis so he can find it when has to pee. -I’m attracted to you…gravitationally -congratulations! when are you due? -"XL -XXL -XXXL -Semi Inflated Life Raft <-- You Are Here" -Something tells me you have a monthly gravy budget -Looking like you bout to undergo metamorphosis -You are weighed in Richter scale -Are you seriously carrying around an extra 200 pounds just to distract from your snaggletooth smile? -The only thing working harder than those shirt buttons is your arteries -What the actual fuck? -You're at the point where you need to do a powerlift just to see your dick in the mirror -So at what point when you were hanging out with those friends did you decide to eat them?? -Maybe stay away from roasts for a little while… -"You’re expecting people fat shame you, but the world is just shocked to see the 5th button’s strength." -"I thought this was such a eerie post, then I saw that it's a kink and it all made sense. not even a roast, open op's profile." -you must have some kind of humiliation fetish -Wow imagine being so unhealthy and sad that you turn it into a fetish just to feel better and then get addicted to that. This isn't a roast just a sad observation on how low people get. -Fetish content doesn't belong here... -Son is 23 months pregnant -He looks like he ate Peter griffin -I feel so much better about myself now for some reason. -"Roasts here mean insults, not food. I know, it’s very confusing" -This is 100% some type of kink for you. -Honestly this just makes me sad. Hopefully you figure out whatever is going on with you and get your lifestyle under control -Southwest should hire him in case another door flies off. Bro would seal it perfect. -"Ahh...you played the main star in Nikes ""Belly is gonna get you"" advert!" -Baron Fartcomin. -Oh buoy -You have massively grown. -You make cows feel better about themselves -Are you still alive to read this comment? -Which friends? Häagen or Dazs? -You are the worst product that has come from America. Thanks China -It's a shame to see that Forrest Gump stopped running. -Your stretch marks are actually just a map to the local taco bells. -Words...fail me. -There isn't a big enough oven on earth to roast you. -Bro you look so hot with your huge tits which appear to be bigger than my mums bet they milk themselves and pairing the fact your 18 months pregnant and overdue. Don’t get me started on your teeth…. -is it a boy or a girl? -"Are those friends of yours, your moons?" -Bro hasn't seen his penis for so long that the police have pronounced it dead. -"I noticed you don’t have a wedding ring on, and I’m truly, truly shocked." -"Why are your teeth social distancing still... I know your friends are too, I hear it's safer to stear clear of beached sea animals" -Looks like you ate them instead -I’m so thoroughly disgusted that I don’t know whether to go with a fat joke or mention that you’re probably not allowed within 500ft of any school or playground. -Is nobody talking about that haircut -"Nothing bad to say, this guy seems like a modern day gentleman." -Your beer belly loves hanging out with your friends too -"Peter Griffin in the live action Family Guy movie, no makeup necessary" -An industrial oven is the way to roast you. -"On the plus side, at least your gut gives people their own personal solar eclipse when you pass by." -"GET IN MAH BELLY. I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. I want my baby back baby back baby back, ribs." -Hog roast -Decent solution to world hunger. -"Ah, I see the bus has arrived and it’s already packed and ready to roll" -"Cheeseburger Walrus, Mayor McCheese, Onion Ring Sasquatch…any JRoc insult to Randy works here." -You have somehow managed to make the pillsbury dough boy look skinny -Wow… what a mess -I am actually serious it won't load its too large -Obesity incarnate would be an understatement -This looks like a job for Kendrick lamar ngl -Diabetes/heart risk is doing the roasting for us -You don’t need anymore roasts ! -Congratulations boy or girl -Them buttons are screaming for help -"How are Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire doing these days?" -Dude! Save yourself while you still can because I promise you obesity related diseases are NOT FUN -"Guys, let's stop making jokes at his expanse" -"His friends can’t escape him, they’re currently orbiting him 🤣" -It looks like you've had enough roast -Your confidence isn't the only thing that's growing -"You don’t have a a belly, your belly has you." -When you jump into bed each night the equator moves -Gut Cassidy and the Cheeseburg Kid. -Brother you are the roast -I bet the back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs -There’s enough lint in that button to make two shirts for an average sized man. -Take care of yourself bro. You only get one life / one body. -this kinda feels like a kink thing -Shirt is under more pressure than your arteries. -Damn Randy lay off the cheeseburgers -Randy? -"This man needs to be lifted up as impossible as that seems. This is the type of comfortable in your own skin we should celebrate. Id like him to be happy and healthy, both can be done while big. -So Mr titty McGee aint gettin roasted by me -Tho he does get cock blocked by his own gut - -Imagine being a pen pal of your own dick" -Go wake up Lahey out of the pool and ask what happened to the roof of your cær. -"This shirt for president 2024, it can clearly keep it together" -It’s amazing you could get so fat with only 3 working teeth -I always wondered what happened to jarred from subway -you sure your confidence is the only thing that's grown? -Those buttons have more tension than The Gaza Strip -I bet confidence is a code word... -A testament to the factory where those buttons were sewn on. Unless this was seconds before they became trajectories that took out the eyes of the poor soul who snapped the picture -"Yeah, your confidence has grown, but it is quite obvious that something else has grown too" -"""Massively grown"" is crazy 💀💀💀" - Tf is wrong with people. Kudos to your confidence. But keep this sh¡t to yourself. Like why would ever think that people want to see your fatness? -Are you cosplaying Nikocado Avocado? -I wish my relationship had been as strong as the buttons of that shirt. -Are the friends inside... You.. Right now? -Roast? I don't have a BBQ or oven even close to.big enough. Have to go to the local steel mill for a furnace big enough. -Those buttons would have held the levee’s during Katrina. Gotdamn -“GET IN MY BELLY” said in Fat Bastard voice lol -You're the lead singer for the eatles -You look like Peter Griffin if he was born in Missouri -"No, but you’ve massively grown in belly" -"Watch out, If you add a big H on your t-shirt, helicopters might land on you." -I bet your cooking is on point! Never trust a skinny cook -Poor guy won’t be able to see his dick in this lifetime -Kids under 10 eat for free but bro thought they were free to eat. -That was after you ate them lol -I don't a spit that big. -SHEIN Bert Kreischer -Preston lacy put on a few pounds -"Honestly man, I like you, I got nothing ✌️" -what friends you talking? ben and jerry?? -Looks like Lard Ass from the pie eating contest in Stand By Me. Rat guts and blueberry sauce. Marveling at the barforama he created. -Yeah it’s hanging out alright. -"Roast you? I’d have to baste you every couple hours for a week straight, and I’m not willing to do that." -I will not participate in your self deprecation fetish sir -"Between your teeth and lower shirt buttons, you should open a new boutique called GAPs" -comment -You look like you buy mayonnaise by the gallon -The irony of you writing roast me on a paper plate does not escape me -How many water bottles have you cut with your sword in the backyard? -Your parents are the real winners here -No Girlfriend line is unnecessary. We can tell -You look like Randy from My Name is Earl if he just went on a bender -Did they die or did you eat them -You look like you use the mirror to practice kissing -"You seem like a nice guy who’s had bad luck, I can’t roast you dude. - -Wouldn’t be fair." -"I have no roast right now, just sorry for your losses. I may hit you later though. I'm coming out of a time period with some pretty hard losses myself, dad was homicide.. I still have mom.. I can't imagine your situation so young.. stay strong bro - -I'm 43" -You're equal parts Samwell Tarly and Hodor. -My eyes got diabetes from watching your pics -Not gonna roast you. Going to say you're 6 months of try hard away from being a Savage. You have a nice face and a big smile. If you tightened up the body and gave yourself some confidence from lifting heavy things you'd be unstoppable. Save some bitches for the rest of us -Private Pile living the dream. -"This guy is just like batman because he doesnt have a mother or a father, but he has a beard, no girl, alone, uglier, and most definetly Fatter" -"You’re funny and self deprecating, I’m sorry for your loss, you seem like a strong dude. Take care of yourself, get in shape if you want to and chicks will be all over you because you’re a naturally handsome guy. I’d like to add no homo because I’m a millennial but I won’t because I don’t think it’s appropriate in this day and age so I’ll just say, hey! Stop staring at my dick! That’s the new thing right?" -damn. what happened to your parents man. can't imagine that at age 23. -"Reading your replies, you have a great sense of humor and seem like a genuinely cool person. You deserve to feel confident and happy, man. - -I think a lot of people here would be stoked beyond stoked to see you in the Glowups sub in a year or so, looking and feeling like the best version of the already likable dude we see here. - -Cheers buddy. - -And here is an obligatory mayonnaise comment because roast." -Actually not gonna roast you. Hit the gym and improve your physique. Lose the neck beard. Though this won’t bring your parents back it will attract a female. Pair that with what I’m assuming is a comedic personality … you’ll pull a good woman and you won’t be lonely anymore. Get a dog too. A good dog. Not an asshole dog and name him something cool like f-16 or some shit. -You got a great smile homie! Keep ya head up. -Stop ur actually cute 😅 -"I dont want to roast you. -Infact I want you to be happy and have a great life." -"Take care of yourself, my man." -"Can't do it, you're doing better than I ever would have in that situation keep up the good work butteryums" -Looks like a sweet kid. -Pfff this dude look like he'd be a good friend -i think you have had enough... id just give you pat on the shoulder -"… I can’t. Silly as you seem, you look like an absolute sweetheart to me. You’re gonna go far, even if you do buy Mayo by the gallon." -sending my love. may they rest in peace ❤️ -Wait no you have a nice smile 🥹 -"Dude, listen you will find someone eventually and i'm sorry for your loss, but all i can say is that you'll find someone eventually, I know how you feel, it sucks and you are gorgeous, no diddy." -"I’m just going to say, I’m sorry for your loss." -You’re built like a deep breath. -you have a really nice smile -I think you're attractive. I'm a guy though lol -Why you ruining the good crockery? -"Crying uncontrollably and Hostess Snack Cakes are two things you combine regularly, don’t you?" -23 and you live alone in this economy? Your parents must be so proud. -"I want to reach out and give you a hug.. - -...but can't get my arms around them big ass titties. - -So a pat on the back and a there there gonna have to do" -You look like you be out in amish smoking big doinks -"I don't know man, can't do it. Much love from London" -"You don’t need anyone to roast you, you’ve been thru enough. Hope you get fun and good things come your way soon" -Congratulations on living by yourself. Must be making the social workers proud! -Have the authorities found where you hid their bodies? -Did you come to this sub because you’re a literal human marshmallow -That belt is on suicide watch -"I'm so sorry you're alone. I know what it's like to not have anyone, loneliness is difficult at times to handle. I wish I could trade places with either one of your parents for you. Not because I want your loneliness to end, but because I wouldn't have to see this post." -Bruh -Pretty sure I gave you an Uber ride the other day and you smelled like ass. -HOLD THE DOOR!!!!!!! HOLDA DORR!!!! HODARR!! Hodar? -You strike me as the sort to hold a cigar in between your teeth while struggling to strike the match on your scraggly facial hair. -"Knock knock, who’s there calorie intake" -What sucks is those are the *least* depressing things about you 🤷‍♂️ -Type a guy to write r/roastme on the paper plate hes going to use for his later meal. -Show you what I’ve got? A wife and two sets of living parents. #winning -"I can't even imagine the stain your arteries, heart and other internal organs are under on a daily basis." -you know who else’s parents are dead? batman😈 -I hope you can see the sailboat some day -"Love you bro, and I wish you the best on life!" -I love you bud <3 -I just feel for you if I’m honest. Sorry to hear about all of that -Not bad aftermath of such tragedy. I expected joker 🃏 transition but I believe this will do -I loved you in Mean Girls! -I love you man -i’m sorry your parents died -"God bless you.. -." -What 90% of redditors look like -Walmart version of Chris Pratt from the office. -You are enough -"You seem like a nice guy, ya jerk" -I can't roast you. I hope everything works out for you. -10/10 would smash! Only thing is I'm a dude 😂 -Okay the best way to come up with a Reddit user name is do this. Use exactly what you say out loud every day when you sit down to the same exact meal and start to eat it from the plastic tub. -I’m sure you didn’t live by yourself when your parents were alive. -Would you like to go Casa Bonita? -If you’re wondering why you are having difficulty finding a GF look at picture number 2 again. It’s pretty much an example of everything not to do/be as far as obtaining a (willing)GF. -Nah you need a supporting hand. Get out there man you got this -"Butteryums is such a fitting username considering. Do you eat the butter by the stick, or the tub?" -He took this picture after he slipped into something a little more comfortable. Then goes out to the living room just to find Chris Hansen there waiting to interview him on the 12 year old he was supposed to be meeting. -Private Lawrence is that a Gawd Damn Jelly Doughnut ! -"Saying you live on your own, when really you're still living in your mum and dad's basement... Oh, so yeah you live on your own then I guess." -"Yes...yes... two dead parents a would full of healthy food, all the workings for the crepe crusader!" -That first picture you just look like one more Jedi with no chance of ever becoming a Jedi Master. Anakan't Skywalker. -"You look like all your ""friends"" demand you do the truffle shuffle" -Love you bro keep up the good work -Look like you eat corn on the cob the long way two at a time -Obese Jon Snow -Yeah I don't think we're getting a batman here -OP what is happening in the second picture? Can I get some context? -"I come here to say that I'm sorry to hear it and I hope you are alright, have a good day." -its fat jon snow ... the night is cold and full of terrors -You look like the type of guy who’s run out of dishes and rather than running a cycle on the dish washer chooses to go and buy paper ones -"Dude, if you're living by yourself, you've got your life together. Kudos for that." -Is there a window you haven’t licked? -You’ve got a good sense of humor! Nicely done on the minecraft pig cosplay but I don’t think anyone will be riding you anytime soon. -"Eh, move aside Kirby. We got a bigger and better suck machine right here" -"The man's looking like lifes punching bag, idk. Take it easy keep it cheezy out there brotha" -Most average 190 pound guy ever -You’ve got neckbearditis -"You could've left out the ""no girlfriend"" part, we already knew by the pictures." -"You look like if John Snow and Samwell Tarly fucked, but they mistakenly didn’t leave you to the white walkers. You obviously take after Sam." -"“There isn’t an oven big enough to roast you” -P.s sorry" -HODOR!! -I loved you in full metal jacket -You are like Bruce Wayne but the poor version of it. -Low budget Sam Tarly -You look like you'd be on the SO list. -"23, fat, wearing a Minecraft shirt. You could have skipped the “no girlfriend” part. We know." -"No matter how your parents died, everyone thinks you did it" -"Come on, bring the fedora out. We know you have one." -The army needs this one -"Didn’t even have to mention no girlfriend, that’s apparent." -This dude a fkn legend -"23 and both parents are gone? I’m so sorry homie, you’re still young and deserve all the happiness" -"I’d love to, but honestly I think you might need some Therepy or maybe some exercise and get your head straight my man." -"Lots of comments by trolls. - - Dude, you are fine. You'll meet a nice person randomly, whatever your preference... put less emphasis on looks and more on the mentality, it's far more important - -Met my wife at work 15+ years ago, two kiddos, here we are." -You look like you laugh really hard and you have nice teeth and a handsome face -Seem like a fun dude tbh. -You look chill as hell and seem pretty cool -you look like bolbi from jimmy neutron -No. You look like a nice guy that’s been through some hard shit. It gets better. -"His game catalog: -Ham theft auto -NBA 2manykilos -Forknite -Dinecraft -Donkey dingdong -Super smash burgers -Csgo to the gym - -And I curtsy🩰" -You have a lot of great features! Keep working out and pursuing a healthy lifestyle! 👍🏽 you’re smile is amazing! I am sorry for the loss of your loved ones ❤️‍🩹 keep your head up and keep smiling ✌🏾 -I also choose this guys' parents -"Bro you're too sweet for this shit. Hope you got the roast you wanted, but looks to me like you deserve a hug 🫂 you're very handsome, you're gonna be a stunner as you age, and you have a great attitude. You won't be single long" -"I think life already roasted you enough, we don't need to add to it." -Is it ButteryUms or ButterYums? -You have a really nice smile bro I know I’m meant to roast you but you’d probably appreciate this more -No roast from me. Just words of encouragement. You’re surviving. You’re doing great. Keep pushing. -"Life Ain't easy little man Take care - -you seem like a nice guy !" -"Here’s a nice roast, you are handsome and look friendly. Take that. Punk." -"Mfucker looks like he enjoys long walks on the beach, and warm hugs." -So many people have said private gomer pile jokes that I'm not even going to do that I'm just going to say that you look ugly as hell -"Healthy skin and decent face/height. There is potential. Just get a personal trainer, lift heavy, lose weight and get money. You’ll be fine." -"I hope you find a little bit of happy, man" -"Nah man. You getting it done. My family has never wavered in their support of me, and I promise I wouldn’t be where I’m at without them. I would be a complete disaster without my parents, especially when I was 23. If you’re able to keep going in spite of being young, without the love and support of your parents, there is nothing to roast." -"Well, you’re fat 😂" -You look like a genuinely nice chap. I’m placing my sword back in the scabbard this one time. Unless you really want the roast. -Bro you’re actually funny as hell I fuck wit u😄 -bro theres a woman magnet under all the lbs. -"Poor chap! Dude you look like a good hang man, duck this roasting😂 Just picture the up and up dude, it ain’t all bad on earth 🤷‍♂️" -Ngl. You look easy to draw 💀 -You looked like leaked images of dream -Damn its kinda hard to hit u when u already down like that bro my heart goes out to u -"I'd roast you, but you would break my Bar-B-Q, after eating all of my side dishes. And also, you might want to stop weighing yourself on that scale at work, I am sure they are tired of having to replace it every week." -"You look like you own several gaming consoles. But judging by your sense of humour on here, I’d be down to play vids with you." -Haha the picture of you with them at belt things was seriously so funny. You look like you’re the life of the party haha. Or at least someone whose funny. -"How tall are you, Private?" -You live by yourself and decorate your home like a 60 yr old woman? #doubt -Will you now become Batman? -"I’m so sorry for your losses. I really don’t think you are too roastable- you are good looking, have nice teeth, good hair and clear skin. Maybe workout a bit to feel better about yourself and care for yourself, but you are so young, that girlfriend will come. ❤️" -You shouldn't have posted this photo.. I doubt the Amish will take you back 😔 -No I refuse to roast you 😔 -Go to the gym. Not roasting you. Genuinely wishing you the best. -You don't need to say you use reddit -Your parents had the right idea… >!oh god that was hard to write. I’m not cut out for this sub. I’m sorry for your loss!!< -honestly cant roast u i wanna get drunk for dad lore with u -Is your user a Goose reference to their song? (Butter rum) It’s a great band and it would be awesome if it was a reference. I know Butter rum is an actual thing so most likely not but hey— I have to ask. -You look like you just retired from being a cop and decided to celebrate that by having a jelly donut eating contest -I think you're a cool person to hang out with -the paper plate has me fucking rolling right now i love you even though that is probably against the rules here -"Keep ya head up , It gets better n im saying that because im in your shoes" -You dress well and have an excellent haircut... Today is opposite day -Little late to the orphan party but… nope I can’t. I’m sorry my guy… -i am not roasting you i would like to be your friend :( -You should dye you hair read and audition as a leprahaun! -"Is it bad that I want to tell every submitter ""Hey it's gonna be okay, you're a lot stronger than you may think""? - -Although OP looks like he could kick down a load-bearing beam without breaking a sweat, so he may be aware of his stength" -"Honestly dude I'm just sorry you lost them so young. - -You do whatever makes you happy and take care of yourself. Sending an internet hug" -“WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION PRIVATE” -I think you’re very handsome! -Can’t tell if after your parents passed you tried turning the house into the playboy mansion or if your dressed to go play jiu-jitsu with the neighborhood children? -God bless you! ❤️❤️ -Can’t roast you but I can empathize strongly with you. There is so much strength needed to stand on your own without any support. You deserve nothing but the best buddy. I am sure things will turn out better for you and I hope you work more towards better future. Take care bud :) -He’s going to have dinner on that plate later and breakfast tomorrow as well -Hey bro! Just wanted to come back one more time and let you know that smile looks great on you! (Last pic) -"Please, stop.this. why subject yourself to mean and hateful comments from strangers? God loves you." -Did your mom sit naked on one of JD Vance’s couches? -Clearly fake AI. No one could be that pathetic irl. -I'm pretty sure he ate his parents. Wonder if he used barbecue sauce -"You live by yourself at age 23?! Wow! Can you dress yourself on your own or does your mom pick your clo..... oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm not sorry." -This the bully from boy meets world -"“Show me what you got” - -Is that what you say to everyone coming out of McDonald’s?" -Was it shame that did them in? -Why would I give you what I got when you don't even have anything to give me? -Orphan Fat -Bro thinks he's Batman or summertime -You need to leave roastme and join entiresideofbeefinme -Well I guess we know y they died -Your parents lucked out. -"You ever wonder what whales look like out of water for too long... yep, you are it." -You didn’t have to add that last picture. The first 4 were more than enough material for us to work with. -F man sucks to have them taken away too soon -You look like you are ready to practice lightsabers in the park -Replace towel with a t-shirt -Did you ever make it up to your brother Earl for missing that baseball game all these years ago? -"Dude, there was no need to specify that you live by yourself. It’s obvious and self-explanatory." -Did you eat them? -Lowkey you look like that one big white dude from remember the titans. -"Can I assume you ate your parents, and their dying wish was for you to promise to never exercise?" -"You're not by yourself. Your demons are always with you. - -Sleep tight buddy." -Soon to be seen on “My 600 Pound Life.” -"Sorry that your application as a cashier at McDonalds didn't work out, Josh" -You look like you shag mcflurry machines. -"… - -My job is done here…" -I can see that Private Pyle look in those eyes. The look he had just before the bathroom scene. -Do some washing up -"Are you sure u live by ""myself""? Cos that pregnant tummy and mammary glands hidden behind those god-awful shirt says otherwise." -"Bro, you could've been batman, but ur caseoh looking ahh Reddit mod now." -Lighten up buttercup. -Samwell Tarley you’ll never be the main character In anyone’s life -This is what you get when you order Samwell Tarley from Wish. -Kinda look like the “I’m a snnnnnake”guy all grown up. -"So, if your parents are dead, does that mean you are now officially Lord Samwell of the house Tarly?" -When did Samwell Tarly's watch on the wall end? -Hodor -He looks like a guy who wears his underwear on both sides before washing -"Apparently your parents starved to death. - -Was there a funeral, or did you eat them, too?" -"You don’t need to tell us you don’t have a girlfriend, we know" -"You kinda look like the ""Bad Ideas"" guy if he made badder ideas" -What we got? A family -Show us the shelf of framed pictures that you asked strangers to take of you with big breasted women at conventions! -you look like your username is literal -"Well, I don't have pics of my mom right now, to show you what I still got." -Live alone??? Do the little boys in the cages not count anymore??? -Food is your only friend …… -"Dude, go to the gym. You don't want to meet your parents early as a virgin." -In this situation your parents are the lucky ones. -Didn't know disappointment was that lethal... -"What was Earls brothers name in ""My Name Is Earl""?" -"I got my parents, my gf and the home we own, and we have 3 dogs and a bunny." -"""live by myself"" is not correct, you still got that twin brother in you, that you recently ate" -Can’t even afford ceramic plates you tramp -The calloused knuckles on your hand suggests that you’re Obi Wan’s distant cousin Obi Ben Dover. Your lack of force is evident by the lack of blisters on the other side of your hand. -You look like a guy who follows through after every fart. -In the 5th picture you see the only person ever that smiled to you! -The paper plate has more detail then your face brother -Hodor -Live on your own huh? Now you'll have somewhere to be when the girls don't call -Live on your own huh? Now you'll have somewhere to be when the girls don't call -I bet you’re keeping your therapist in business then huh -Postm Alone -Good work man now post the after pics -Seen at the gas station in a self made sleeveless t shirt in his Ford fucking Ranger. -Damn. You are as alone as you look. -You know. -Your Parents are really Resting in Peace. -Tell us something that your pic doesn’t. -I am sorry about your parents. Please don't tell us how they tasted. -comment -“Thank you for your service.” - the guy you just blew for $20 -You look like you give your patients unnececassry prostate exams -"Oh, you've been pegged, alright." -You look like every single letter in LGBTQ -"New policy - -Don’t have to ask -We can tell" -Man I miss Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. -How to say I’m gay without saying I’m gay -"You look like you transitioned, then changed your mind, then changed it a third time, then finally just settled on being gay asf" -"\*Hasn't arrived to PDS yet - -boot level = maximum" -You couldn't pay a hooker enough to peg you. -You look like the kind of guy that would collect severed dicks and make a necklace if war broke out. -"Girl please, you will not be taken seriously in the army with that feminine-ass look" -"The estrogen you've been taking is paying off. Any chance at looking remotely masculine is long gone. - -Mission accomplished! You look like a butch lesbian." -"Hey, no insult here but did you realize that you opened Reddit instead of Grinder?" -"Just because you wear a pretend medical fetish outfit at gay orgies, it does not mean you're an actual medic. - -Real medics stop diseases, you spread them." -Twink -You misspelt weak belly. -"Not a dig, but you look like you suck a lot of dick." -"""Private, this man's been shot. Quit playing with his butthole & help me stop the bleeding""" -Bunch of parents are gonna get folded flags because of your shit work -Justin Dweeber -I don't know if you trigger my homophobia or transphobia. -"You look like a typical German techno junkie from Berlin with your clothes on. Your face is so feminine you could get the lead role in a mass gang bang gay video. -""or doing bro stuff with the homies."" Your Instagram Bio says all... -As a soldier, you will go to war with dildos instead of being able to hold a weapon." -I know an Ether Bunny when I see one. -“We have nate from euphoria at home” -"If I get shot on the battlefield, and it's a choice between dying and getting rescued by this boot, just go ahead and make the necessary next of kin notifications." -"I see the Army is now admitting trans pillow princesses. Your favorite part of MEPS was getting your butthole checked, wasnt it. - -Or did you prefer seeing all the other guys duck walk in their underwear? Which one got your little clit a fluttering" -"you look like the poster child of a chad incel hybrid, first of its kind" -Dudes got kardashian level lip filler -You genuinely look extremely feminine. -Phrasing says it all. Definitely asking someone to take him down and peg -You sure your a 68W you look more like a fucken bologna pony riding fucken cav queer! POG! -You look like you get pegged on the daily anyways. -Since when did the military allow you to wear piercings such as those? Something tells me you haven't even been to BC yet...maybe not even to MEPS. -As a current infantryman I'd rather bleed out then let you throw a tourniquet on me -Pegging on your mind all the time? -You look like you take a peg or two -"""HI sisters"" looking mf" -They’re just letting anyone in these days huh ? -Congrats on your transition. The surgeons did a superb job hiding where your tits used to be. -Dressing like a cavalry trooper in a village people tribute act is not like joining the military for real. -You look like a no means yes type of guy -"Let me sum up the comments for you, you’re gay." -you look exactly the same as you did when you where 14 -"You need to assert your masculinity more, kiddo!" -You only give male victims mouth to mouth ol lookin ass…… -Operation human shield -"I'm so disappointed in all these comments. Like, don't y'all have anything better than gay jokes? Seems like this sub doesn't have any standards anymore. - -Also seems like the Army doesn't have any standards anymore..." -You look like you cover yourself in vasoline and pretend to be a snail in your spare time -19 but you take selfies like a 75 year old on Facebook -Earrings are against uniform standards and regulations. Shitbird. -By the look of it; you jerk off to the mirror. -Looks like someone gave up after designing your face -The lips of a brown-noser 💋 -I bet barbie was your favourite movie growing up -stop dropping the soap -He performs oral suction of the penis on the soldiers to make them feel better during deployment. -"Army medic. 🙃 -Worst cut you've had to deal with is that hatchet job someone did on your eyebrow." -Your parents change the subject when your name comes up don’t they? -"If I woke up in a Medevac and saw you working on me, I might just die right there." -"Army guy 1- medic I’m suffering -This guy- with what -Army guy 1- snake bite -This guy- no problem I’ll help you -Army guy 1- why you trying to get my dick out -This guy- to suck the poison out of -Army guy 1- but the bites on my arm" -"When you inhale, it must sound like a drain unclogging." -"You look like an even worse version of vanilla ice... Like if he prefers the company of men at the gym before taking them home. - -Rainbow Ice" -"Hard to take you down a peg, when getting pegged gets you up." -No way am I going to take you down a peg. I’m a Viet Nam vet and you are my hero. Bless you. -Yo pog you know damn well gauges are not authorized… -Are these real people ? Why would anyone post themselves on here to get made fun of ? Got recommended this sub randomly by the algorithm -Working the glory hole on base doesn't make you a medic. -People would rather respawn than have you revive them -I hope you get smoked for this boot ass post. -I did not know the Army allowed gays. -You like that Russian dude who injected glue in his biceps -How many other fingers had rings on them before they got stuck in your ass -Doesn’t seem to matter how much masculine clothing you wear. Still looking like somebodies lesbian aunt. -"When you claim to be in the army, but your uniform is standard issue Salvation Army." -"I think you win, bro. I just wonder why you gotta look like lil’ Schwarzenegger when it’s the other guys doing the real fighting" -You need bigger muscles to cover this baby face -Someone order a code red  -Johnny bravo cartoons looking ass -FtM transgender looking ass -White boy Carl? -Your family is really religious right? -He goes from butch lesbian to butch lesbian in drag. -Douchebag. -"Are you pre-op or post-op , I cant tell....." -You can't fit a piece of food more than 3 inches wide in your mouth. -You look like a sailor to me! -"The scar on your eyebrow came from your cat who you absolutely insist is friendly. Hate to break it to you, it's not, you pushover." -"You look like you learned a veinous cutdown procedure on a goat, but couldn't stop staring at its goat vagina during the whole procedure and hoped nobody would notice. - -You look like you joined up for weird reasons." -"You look like you're in N.A., neckbeards anonymous" -You’re the reason hazing should still be allowed -What army let you wear that sissy ring in your ear or ears -Why do people even join the military? -You look constipated -I want to insult you but I’m not sure where to begin because I can’t tell what sex you are. -Having retired a 20 year iraq afghanistan combat sniper. Won't roast a brother . -can't take you down a peg since you loved to be PEGGED -I'm just happy there's not much issue with lesbians in the military these days -"Okay, Elliot Paige" -i bet you made all the privates feel much better after a visit -"Fisting random people you accuse of ""hiding drugs"" doesnt make you a medic. (Thx for your service)" -"Roast request from a non ugly, decent job guy. - - -Ppl with no idea what else to say…: “um he’s gay. Ya!” 🙄🥱" -You look like you masturbate with your legs in the air -Love how the comments just went: gay -"You look like everything is going well for you. You won the genetic lottery and you take good care of yourself. Your life is like Heaven and mine is like hell, although better than many others. I’m sure you’re intelligent enough and you seem cocky which is what girls like now. Cocky is now confidence, heh. But good for you seriously, you’re winning. My highlight today was smoking some crack and shooting a bundle of fentanyl and it wasn’t that special. So yeah enjoy it. I know you will." -You're no drill sergeant but you will drill sergeant. -Thank you for your service. -Thank you for your service. Stay frosty. -You and I both have serious mental issues. I’m an army medic as well. -Don't lie r/roastme was your only possible way to get attention -I don’t disrespect veterans. -Thank you for your service no disrespect needed 🫡 -You have the sadness in your eyes that is only seen in Eastern European gay porn -I would make fun of you looking gay but being gay isnt really an insult… and im also gay -I’m getting 🏳️‍🌈vibes 😭but he’s cute tho -Not doing it cuz ur army and respect this country. Actually… go navy beat army! -god damn the jokes are just homophobia. Well you look like you got deployed to suburban indiana -You suck dick through your butthole. -"In the army my ass. They would mevrr let you wear those piercings, and you look like a butch woman" -You have a purdy mouth boy. Your severed head will be ISIS' favourite new fleshlight. -That don’t ask don’t tell policy really helped you out -Shim -"No, that’s not another way to resuscitate a man." -"'Don't ask, don't tell' is a lifelong motto." -"You put the “P” in Prolapse, Doc…" -"Nah, you look like you’ve been pegged plenty." -Its only because you're the medic that the soldiers aren't hazing you -You look like you’ve already been pegged many times who am I? -"Keep on moving it solider, nothing to roast here." -Bet you get hard everytime the silver bullet comes out. -At least now they let ‘anyone’ in after the don’t ask don’t tell stuff. -Pegged himself -You look like you went to MEPS multiple times just so the doctor would look at your butthole -First pic lookin like Handsome Squidward. -"Fuck me, poundland Justin beiber with an even more punch able face." -The army went downhill ever since they let chicks into combat roles -"Broski is the intersex apex, men women looking ass" -You’re giving butch looking bruh 😂 -You low life son of a pecker checker! -"He plays Army alright! He blows the fuck outta dudes! Don’t ask, don’t tell but you scream gay. Take it down to a subtle whisper." -Shouldn't this be in the lgbt sub? Peg indeed. -Does the army have a don't ask/don't tell policy? -Broski got so much botox done on his face that now can't decide if he's a man or women -Just an excuse to handle privates… just be honest! -Scar story? Only redeeming quality you have. -You took a couple of months worth of pegging with the boys already. -Match ring and ear ring is a hell of things -He looks like them Army medics that will help guys in other ways out in the field -That 3rd photo is ARMie Hammer. -You got a reeeeeal purdy mouth. -Private snowflake! -No way you’re a man. -"It's funny that you used the word peg, because it looks like you enjoy being pegged..." -come out the closet -Being the barracks blow job queen doesn’t necessarily make you a medic. -"Lol, life's going to hit you hard, lucky you're getting lots of practice being fucked, and happy to hear you're enjoying it..." -FAAAAAAAA* -You look like the type to give a reach around while doing an “examination” -Is that an EARRING? What the hell kind of Army you in? -I’m still trying to figure out if you’re a guy or a lady -My pronoun for you is I don’t know what the fuck you are! -They let you have a fucking haircut like that in the military? That don’t ask don’t tell policy has made the military a bunch of fruitcakes -You love your job because you get to shower with other men. -"Medic. Is a pretty libral term to describe a 92 sierra mos, but i guess you guys are kinda medics for clothes." -Butch lesbian vibes a bit..... -"Don’t ask, don’t tell ammiright?" -If Scarlet Johansen were a man. -Salvation Army medic… -Looks like you enjoy a peg or two. -Looks like he likes to get pegged. -Closed mouth smile? I'm guessing your teeth are just as straight as you are. -You have a dirty barracks room and failed your last ACFT. Command wants to see you in their office after first formation. -"Looks like you're doing great for yourself, keep it up! - -Oh and uh, you smell bad or smth" -"Your doing good in life ,you look good and I don't see a reason to tone it down any you should be proud of yourself for succeeding in 2024 it really is tough out there and this is just my opinion" -Out of the closet Nate Jacobs -I have boots with more time downrange than the length of time you've been identifying as a male. -"As a hairstylist…you’re gonna be bald by 35. So if we can’t humble you, life eventually will." -You are hot and I would love to date you 😍 Wrong sub! -Lookin like Ellen DaGenderless -Bet your parents want a folded flag for Christmas. -You look like you keep the silver bullet warm. -"If ""don't ask, don't tell"" was a person." -Your necklace tells me everything I need to know about you. This is not a compliment. -"What the hell happened to your arm in the third pic, it looks really weird. With that tiny hand it looks like a fuckin water balloon that hasn’t filled up all the way yet, or something." -I ain't seen the back of a head I don't like yet.lol -Not gonna do it. Thanks for your service young man -thanks for your service -The garrison gropper. -I genuinely thought you were a lesbian. -I see they are making a part 2 to G.I. Jane -Ofc you’re an Army Medic. You look like you’ve seen multiple people die knowing you could’ve changed the outcome but didnt because they took your favorite strap-on. -Sucking the life out of dicks doesn’t make you a medic -You look like you suck dick for gas money and drive a tesla -Vegan Matt Rife with cancer -You're stuck with the face of trying to force out a fart -"100% chance your entire outfit was purchased at the PX, you’re wearing combat boots with your jeans, and you suck dick" -This looks like a post an Army Reservist would make. -I know you transitioned but I can’t figure out which way. -"You’re the primary reason why real men don’t join the Army any more lol … now, even the closet homosexuals are brainwashed into serving a dead evil war machine!" -Didn’t see the sub and assumed this was a lesbian looks maxing advice post. -I bet your girl pegs you -You must be the new practice girl we use before we go to the strip clubs and pick up prettier ones. Thanks homie. See your cute ass at the motor pool tomorrow. -Prettiest lesbian I've ever seen. -Nah your hot 😭 -"Nice jewelry soldier. Congrats, you look like a discount gypsy." -On this weeks episode of queer eye for the wounded guy …. -"Good on you, keep it up!" -Thank you for your cervix! -"Don’t ask, don’t tell -Applies here 💯" -"""here, take this 800mg ibuprofen and some water"" is just short of ""Hey! Would you like fries with that?""" -The only thing smaller than your dick is your scope of practice -"being an army medic sounds intense! Mad respect for what you do, seriously. Saving lives and all that, it's some real superhero stuff. And being high on life? That's the vibe we all need, man. Keep rocking that positive energy, it's infectious! Don't let anyone take you down a peg, you're doing awesome work out there." -I catch you at work with those stupid ass earrings and you’ll be pushing till lunch. Look like an idiot -Negative soldier. You like you already got pegged. -Twink Gallagher? -Elliot Page has reached her/his final form. -You look like a slightly more homosexual dream -I'd hit -Looks like Sean Penn fucked Quagmire -Did the military pay for your gender reassignment surgery? -"90% of the roasts on this sub: ""you look gay hahahah"" - -It was funny the first times, now it's just meh" -"i figured the drill seargent would've already slapped the pretty-boy out of you, yet here we are" -"Quit lyin' to us, ""doc"", you work in a clinic on post at a training facility popping blisters on privates' heels" -ur kinda beautiful so this is hard ur arm looks funny tho -Omg Din Winchester -"You say army but actually mean national guard. - -P.S. thanks for serving and I dont get the low effort gay jokes." -I can’t explain it but You somehow look like a male lesbian -Are you FtM? -Did the Army pay for your transition surgery? -Why would anyone want to take you down a peg. You risk your life for all of us and you save lives. Thanks for all that you do. I am not good at roasting people who are contributing to our society. -No roast you're gorgeous lmao -damn -I have so much respect for you!!! Keep saving lives and making a difference 🔥🔥🔥 -"I bet a 5 minute conversation where you don’t talk about your body, your job, your country, or anything tangential to those topics is agony for you. And yet you probably don’t understand why the people you flirt with end up ghosting you." -Which part of 670-1 authorizes you to wear earrings Soldier? -Why does it look like YOU were the barracks bunny? -You're a bottom bitch. -Can definitely tell this guy is ALWAYS voluntold for 1SG's late night last minute details on deployment. -That smile says “I just sucked a dick”. Got the lips for it too -"You got into an accident when you were younger and now you have an eyebrow slit for the rest of yr life. Not sure if you actually realized you were gay after the fact or if you just figured you already looked enough like a twink to warrant the cheap yet permanent jewelry, but let’s just say the shitty leather jacket isn’t doing you any favors." -Thank you for your service! -Fingerings dudes in the barracks shower doesn't make you a medic -"Yea not going to roast yah, was a medic for a security service and what I can say for a fact though, don’t forget to treat yourself. My knees and hips are gone from sprinting around with a hip kit, back pack, and lugging around kit and people. My shoulder took 3 years to be back to decent too. Keep it up and take care" -The oil war your buddy lost his leg too was worth the $.05 discount on gas I got. Thank you for your service. -You look like you became a doctor just to finish your own DYI FTM transition -Take you down with a Peg is what you clearly meant. -Ngl i respect the job too much to really roast you. But your arm looks like someone is pumping air into it -Millitwink -What box do you check when the forms ask M or F? -You look like a retired dyke. -Funny you used the word “peg”. -You’re gonna be a great lesbian P.E. teacher -You look like you have had to wipe your ass with a sock on more than one occasion -"We won't. - -But the PTSD sure will" -You look like you'd give me a good time for 10 $ -youre the physical imbodiment of somebody running down a hill -"Wars over, pal." -What shade is that lipstick?? 💄💄 -can’t tell if your a guy or girl -Speaking of peg… -"The Army hasn't fought a war in over 4 years and probably won't fight one within the next 20. This guy is going to spend his whole Army career on glorified welfare. Hey man, be sure to thank the taxpayer for your handout." -"Idk if I want to roast you man you look like you are already about to cry with that forced smile. \*cracks knuckles\* but here I go anyway. Looks like that scar on your eyebrow is from you accidental smashing you head on the side of a coffee table but you always give the story like ""I hit it on something stupid"" or ""you should see the other guy. You look like you have a lifetime membership and Pac Sun and you intend to get any children you have a lifetime membership as well if you ever procreate. You look like you hit the gym every day do 3 reps on high weight grunt really loud and high five yourself since you don't have friends. You look like you got rejected by the love of your life over some dude named Chad or Blake or Brian or some shit then you tried to copy their style but she still didn't like you. You look like you got to a party and drink Mikes Hard Lemonade and whenever someone talks to you all you say is ""hahaha yeah"" and nothing else. Your expression gives me ""my parents got divorced and neither one wanted me"" energy. You look like someone got you an anime body pillow as a joke, but you ended up actually really liking it and named it Hatsune-san and that is the closest thing you have ever gotten to a real relationship. You look like you failed community college and where denied access to the military because of ADHD. To make up for that you still live with your parents and are trying to get a manager position at Dicks Sporting Goods. I could go on." -"ALWAYS PROTECT DOC!!!! Anyways, hey man, I got this bump on my dick, can you take a look at it real quick?" -Nah enjoy your high! Thanks for saving lives. Be humble and let this fact surprise people when they ask what you do. I’m NOT GONNA SAY women love a hero but women love a hero -I got nothing bro thank u for ur service -"I just want to take a moment to appreciate that after years of evolution the best comeback the internet as a whole can come up with is still - -"" you're gay lol"" - -😂 - -But to be fair you did ask for a ""comeback"" they might be right 👀" -"You look like you're either the most kindhearted guy around or a massive insufferable douche  -It's also giving closeted bisexual " -"Nice try, seeing if you could bait some doc/medic slander outta me - -Even if you do look like a somehow gayer Ellen Degeneres on Test, I’ll always love you bro" -Something happens to most soldiers during basic training. They completely lose the ability to wear civilian clothing. I mean they look downright fucking stupid when not in uniform. Glad to see that it has happened to you too. -Dude looks like he’s on female HRT -EMT Basic -comment -The plain version of plain -"Boring , not bored." -You look like your favorite sex position is writing a manifesto -Dang girl you look like you return library books on time. -"You’re bored, and now r/RoastMe has to suffer…" -Lots of different looks but they’re all horrible -Wow… you clean up mediocre -All this metal piercings and still you don‘t attract anyone -The face of a woman who's cats keep running away -I respect that you had the courage to show up to that wedding as a Maid of Horror. -Your own dildo probably goes limp on you.. -"By the looks of things, you think Olive Garden is classy restaurant to get engaged at" -"More grease than home made chips," -Your beak looks sharp. -They use your forehead to grease down bowling lanes -"You look like you have more personalities, than IQ points." -The metal detector isn’t even attracted to you -Shut up Meg. -No way you are 21. You look more like 28-32. -Beige. All I see is fucking beige. -"""I'm bored"" - -- Every Guy you had Sex with, after just laying on your back like a dead fish. - -At least you keep it real Honey." -Principal Trunchbull’s origin story -"Hmmm…I’m going to take a good guess and say your nose, nipples and penis are all the same length" -You look like you give very unenthusiastic hand jobs whilst looking at your phone. -if you were drowning I'd give you a high 5 -I can smell the cat piss through my screen. -No seasoning -Does your forehead make up half your bodyweight? -I didn't know lord voldemort had hair -"You look like..... never mind I lost the interest, like every guy you've been on a date with." -If a used suppository was a real person -I kept scrolling to the left with unsuccessful hopes. It was like witnessing radiation exposure before and after. -Roast you? I mean yeah....what else would we do with a pig? -"11 tattoos, 16 piercings, and no personality." -The ring in your nose only indicates that you will never have one on your finger -Probably time to start a Feet Finder with those gargantuan hooves you have. -Have you considered renting your forehead as billboard space? Or will nothing stick to that grease slick? -Is that ring in your nose so we can pull you away from the buffet when you’ve had your fill -https://farmingfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Why-Do-Cows-Have-Nose-Rings.jpg -You'll grow into that forehead one day -"These all look like ""Before"" pictures in a nose job brochure" -Ew -You should try to calm down your right eye and hairline so they'll stop running away from each other. -More like 31 F -Pre or post transition? We may never know. -Maid of dishonor -pregnant after first time -You misspelled stupid. -"This is not a roast, your eyebrow piercing bump looks concerning and you should make sure it's not an infection." -It's as Anne as the nose on Plain's face. -"In 5 hours you’ll delete this after one of your friends comments they saw it and tells you, “You’re not as fat as they’re saying.”" -Molly Cyrus the Virus! -Tell me your liar 🤥 without telling me your a liar -That's not a forehead that's a 54head -"Since you don't get any wiener, it only makes sense you own one." -Her whole personality consists of her piercings -"Did you accidentally ask for the ""Tom Cruise"" when you got your smiley piercing?" -"Having looked at your pics, now we're all bored. - -You are, without a doubt, the most ""beige"" person I've ever seen." -I bet your Spotify is just Taylor Swift and podcasts about self love. -Seeing Marilyn Manson without his makeup is so surreal. -dear fucking god please tell me you took that eyebrow piercing out that thing looks like it’s gonna explode??? -Dollar General Mona Lisa. -"Just shy of being mid...missed it by a mile. - -Got some bad news for ya...uncle daddy's is not coming home. I'm sure he's got his Bud light but it's been 15 years. - -You look like type of gal who has emotional issues you'd probably throw paint stripper on your ex's car. - -Are you bored because your cousin said that you should just stay cousins for a while?" -For once I was happy to click on a profile and NOT see the NSFW warning -Like a manilla folder on a beige wall. -Katpiss neverclean -Girl you have a circulation problem common sign is club finger nails -The world would 100% be a better place without septum piercings 🙄 -somehow manage to look like you’ve got a bad dye job as both a blonde and a brunette -Congratulations on your new cat -I know a McPoyle when I see one - HIIII U LOOK PRETTYY -Death by snu-snu -I think I saw this girl on a billboard about basic white bitch or something like that. -"After seeing your photos, I now think I'm attractive.." -I’m guessing daddy wasn’t around much. -Damn forehead looking like a highway. Hairdresser has to drive to get to your hair line -Damn those high testosterone levels -"If the strip club and only fans doesn't work out, I'm sure Wendy's will hire ya." -When did Brent Spiner transition? -She looks like family guy ( maybe herr father) -Female gru vibes. Especially 2nd pic. -It’s Gail the Snail! -You look like you steal men's pubes to use in rituals. -You look like vanilla ice cream tastes. -You can fold clothes on her forehead. -Would not bang -"You look like a woman who wants 40 cats, but those cats want nothing to do with you." -How was rumspringa? -"I hate the snotcatcher. -That's all." -I bet you could palm a watermelon -Always a Wiccan bridesmaid; never a Wiccan bride. -You look like a popsicle that doesn’t have a joke written on the stick. -"That type of nose piercing looks pretty fuckin stupid. Looks very unattractive on women. Thus, ew." -sis tried every genre of girl and none of them worked -My rope won't fit in your nose ring. -"How can I say this?… - -You’re kind of a butterface except you also don’t have a good body." -"I genuinely think you are absolutely gorgeous, but I tend to be attracted to unattractive people so there’s that…" -"Damn! Call the nearby farmer another one of his cows escaped his pasture. This one must have lost her ear tag. - -P.S-Seriously the bull ring is not attractive!" -The Day the Music Died. -Plain flour has more personality than you. -The perfect face for radio! -"Always a bridesmaid, never the bride." -And definitely lonely -I've never wanted to fuck something less than I do looking at you. That includes running blenders and pencil sharpeners. -Not even a toaster would fry your boring ass in the bath tub it would at the very least remove your genital warts. -"that’s cool, did you know that the human anus can fit 2 full grown raccoons. Did you also know that my dog died of a heat stroke a few years ago. Womp womp not cool on my dogs part." -"You look like the opposite of the movie Taken, the kidnappers drop you off at home." -"You're gonna make someone very happy to be your partner one day, you look like someone it would be cool to hang out with, I bet you have great taste in music, I love your boots!" -This witch can summon disillusionment charm spell. (For context: look at the third picture and try to find her sunglasses) -Enjoys plain bagel with cream cheese -"damn girl, are you Iowa? because you're really plain and mid af" -"""Even stink would say that stinks"" - Fat Bastard, in Austin Powers." -"Are you out yet? You do know, though, yes? - -It’s OK." -Your pretty :) -"Honestly, You Look Fabulous. Love the curly look on you!" -"That's not a forehead, it's a fivehead" -Could be cute but those nose rings are weird makes me think what if I tied it to a string and hit a stake in the ground watch you on all 4s like a cow -I’m not even roasting you. The post above you in my feed is Roxanne Green who burned down the first abortion clinic in Wyoming. It’s you. With glasses. -"Holy shit! If it wasn’t for the piercings and awkward fat deposits, you’d be a PERFECT 5!" -Why do they ALL have nose rings -Idk what’s more sad that she’s too regular looking to roast or that 90% of the people roasting would still smash -just a few rings from gollum -You look like someone you would see walk down the hall to class like 3 times throughout the school year and thats it. Just a nameless background character. -Your clothing choices offend me. -Find a hobby you look fine. Also put ur self out there u would be surprised at how many ppl are interested in you. Believe in your self you got it. Forget any Debbie downers. -Pic #2 looks like she’d kick #1’s ass with 3-5 laughing about it -Ngl going back to brown hair def saved you the blonde made you look like ur balding -Gurl you look like someone who would address someone respectfully -I would love to knock you up -You look very nice in the last few photos very stylish i must say. But also the type of woman who would be excited about going to your buddies pet funeral. -Was photo 2 when you experimented with strap-ons? -You look like the girl that all the guys think they can fix. -You look like you do marketing for an up and coming MLM -"Face is plain and shrapneled. Tits like acorns but wide, child bearing hips. I give you two camels, is good deal my friend." -Your piercings are stupid and annoying -ngl you're so basic I cant think of anything -"''Im boring 21F'' there, fixed it for ya" -she is so boring that boring can't even began to explain how boring she is. She is as boring as boring can possibly be boring -"You’re bored, so is everyone else looking at that ponytail for the last 21 years" -"Her Pronouns are ""Wtf is that thing?""" -Went to a frat house a virgin..... left still a virgin and being pitied by an apple pie. -So are we. -Why do you need us to roast you when I'm sure your platoon sergeant does five times a day. -Damm Gollum from lord of the rings is a girl -I think most guys get bored having sex with you -Is it possible to be the most plain person in existence? -You still look like you could get coerced into banging a 15 year old. -You look like a second grade teacher -Is it true what they say about women with big feet? -You forgot to update your profile biography to 21 -You’re more bland than communion crackers. You’re so dull it negates your tattoos and piercings. -I wasn’t going to respond but you know the old saying! Take the bull by the horns so I did. -"Congrats on the wedding... - -Bet you were surprised to even be invited." -The rare instance where a girl looks better when they dont try -You meant borING -*boring. There. Fixed it for you. -Let’s get it -Your hair looks like it smells of grease and cigarettes. -Concealed carry or insulin pump..? -How hasn’t any person commented on how you’re in the armed forces… -"Advice: before posting a picture of yourself online, lower the resolution" -"I see you brought your dinner in picture 5, what pasture is your favorite" -The most seamen (semen) she’ll ever get near is in that ocean pic! -That's what everyone says after meeting you for 5min. -You look like you moved to Hawaii and consider yourself a local -When did you transition? -Could cook a batch of French fries from the grease in that hair. -You remind me of 2 girls one cup -That nose should be reserved for Mount Rushmore -Bored=Boring Not even worth a roast. -"The booger hook says "" I'm bored"" that's for sure." -You can take the girl out the street but never the street out the girl -You look like 3 different persons. -You forgot to wash the corn oil out of your hair. -Yes sir -"“S’up Dra'nakyuek, Destroyer of Worlds. Congrats on stomping that village yesterday”" -You look like the type of girl to say “I just want someone nice for a change” and then reject them hard when they finally come around -"(Wo)Man, if some one put a magnet near your face you'd be stuck like that one spongebob episode," -" - -even with your intense electromagnetic attraction(inspired from top comment) and astronomical gravitational pull, you still seem to pull none." -"What happened to you, girl? You were so full of hope and innocence, and now look at you." -"Next time you wann feel something, take a 9V block battery and touch it with your piercings." -*boring -You look like the human version of an unenthusiastic handjob -You look like you use a different pronoun in each picture -Is your sexual orientation 'permanently single' or are you just scaring off potential dates with that piercing glare? -Your mom emphasizes that you have a great personality and can cook even to total strangers doesn’t she OP? -"Very rarely do I see a girl where one can say goofy as hell, but here we are" -You look like a Madeline Zima clone if they dropped the Petri dish. -You look like the spokesperson for a product that doesn’t work. -Discount “Im in me mums car” girl -Even if I carry 200kAmp electric magnet I can’t be attracted to ya those metal piercings make ya look like those native Americans from Aztec empire period -You look like you’re auditioning for the role of “most likely to get lost in a Hot Topic.” Nailed the look! -"You look like you tried to wash off yesterday's bad decisions, but they’re still hanging on like your wet hair. Quite the signature look!" -If white cotton panties were a person -You look like a cautionary tale your parents tell your younger siblings about what happens when you give up on yourself. -You look like your therapist charges you extra. They deserve a medal for patience. -You're bored? So is every partner you've ever had. -"They all stink somewhat , but I can tell that yours is a bit more sour than most." -"If depression, boredom, and bisexuality could be distilled into a person, it'd be you." -When “The Fat Part of the Bell Curve” describes every single aspect of your true self. 🚀 -You look like an Adam’s family reject -Did you dip your hair in the deep fat fryer? -Keffals really let herself go -Wait do you have a tooth piercing? -Ur the human equivalent of a wet dog -That 3rd pic looks like you were trying to hide a boner -Why are you bored? Shouldn’t you be filming the next season of Loki? -I masturbated to you twice already and I’m still not satisfied -"I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse." -The middle stages of marylin mansion having a sex change. -Walking proof that traction alopecia can occur as early as age 21!!! -"How can you tell she's a virgin -Got no brothers" -You have a weinerdog because that is the only weiner you get to see. -You look like a hospital patient in every photo -Cute. Would taste. -"Thats a backwards slide show from an meth addict. -Youre not bored, you are soon divorced" -The picture of you in the grey T-shirt shows the outline of your dick tucked up in your waistband. -Your arms are so flabby you could get lift off if you flapped hard enough. -"""Bored"" and ""Lazy"" aren't the same thing. Ex. It's not ""I'm too bored to shower."". It's ""I'm too lazy to shower.""." -I get bored too looking at you -You look homeless but like you just got out of rehab and are staying at a half way house -Your forehead looks like it can still see last week -Caitlin Clark if she was any unsexier. If that even possible? -You Spelled boring wrong. -ur future husband will be saying the same thing whenever u guys r having sex -"you should keep your hair blonde! it’s really giving off that jojo siwa look, which is the best look you’ve achieved so far" -When did you transition? -"If someone tells you that you look pretty with all those bull rings, they're lying." -But you're so cute though! Coming from a 918 Lezzy haha -"Boredom can be cured with locking pliers, 100ft of rope, and something fast. Tie pliers to fast vehicle and locking pliers. Attach locking pliers to random piercing. Have friend drive away. If you’re a masochist, forego the fast vehicle and use a toddler’s electric car instead." -Let’s smash -Now this time I really thought this was a picture of a dude. I'm dead serious -Hi Bored. It is very nice to meet you. -"Wow, you really clean up poorly!" -I bet you've been bored many times.... -You don’t look 21. You look like you got a 21 year old daughter though. -You look like you stopped showering ages ago to not rust all that fake jewelry hanging off your face. -Your hair somehow looks wet like you washed it but also dirty at the same time. -"You misspelled ""boring""." -You look like a pinup girl for whiteclaw -You look like you need to remain 500 feet from any school building -average disney fan's gums. -You look like a Brook. -You look like female Jared Leto -You look like a school teacher who has trouble keeping the class quiet. -"Not exactly a roast, but what was it like leaving the vault only to land in the enrichment center?" -Face tattoos would suit you -"If you only had fans, but you can't." -U look much older -You look like my sister! -You look like it takes a lot for you not to smell like cat piss. -"We get it, they/them" -You mean flat as a board -"She’s quiet, where can I find her?" -What you trying to attract with all that metal in your face? More iron? Or do you have an attraction to magnets? -Seems like you have a picture for each personality -Bjs only go so far -You're beautiful -Is your real name Mona B. Lisa? -You look like a metal spoon falling apart 😔😔 -Could wring out your hair and have enough oil to fry a batch of French fries. -"Always the bridesmaid and never the bride, that’s because brides want ugly bridesmaids to make them look better. " -Does anyone else smell moth balls? -At first i thought your nose was big. Then i saw your shoulders. -I’m bored. (Just looking at ya) -Looks like you're a different person each day. -You misspelled boring -Can you do the HAWK TUEH -You look like you hang out outside 7-Elevens all day -Zooey Deschanel's meh double ganger. -If you’re bored then you’re boring -comment -I would ask you to wear two pairs of gloves if I saw you making my sandwich. -"Yes, I would like a side of HPV with my sandwich." -Employees that look like you is the reason McDonald’s is moving to kiosks -I bet you know your way around a roast beef sandwich. -Your hair looks like you saw someone pee in the pool but you went in anyways -I thought this was one of those shitty Reddit ads for jimmy johns disguised as a regular post. -It's the run of the mill etsy girl art school package. There's even a bass note tattoo to let you know this is the basic edition. Premium comes with a bag of fertilizer so you can grow your own at home. -"""I'm 23, a Leo and have the fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's"" - -A lot of words just to say, ""I've failed.""" -"I love your 1st photo. I bet you had the same facial expression when you saw your first penis. - -I get it. Dads can be real assholes." -You better use those fast hands to brush them yellow ass teeth... -Wipe the snot off your bull ring before work next time. -You put the “myd” in Chlamydia. -I can smell the cat piss infused into your clothes just from looking at this. -You look like the trans version of Kyle Rittenhouse. -This is the food inspector. We are shutting Jimmy Johns with immediate effect. We found a Green hairy slimy goopy substance with Ink stains on Hand like structure. -Whats your Onlyflab handle??? -Go work at a massage parlour. Use those fast hands to give fat guys happy endings instead of sandwiches. -I see you got the dyed hair/nose ring/stupid tattoo package...that's a great substitute for a personality. -You look like the pigeon lady from home alone 2 -Astrology and food service. We’ve roasted this combination enough for one lifetime  -"you should shower more than once a year. - -even if the customers like the extra flavouring from all the grease that drips off that nasty hair." -"Bragging about your handywork around Jimmys, and Johns. Congratulations girl - you got a future in prostitution! And you look the part too 😉" -You’ve used your fast hands for Jimmy and John. -"You’d probably cry during sex, but I’m betting nobody has been that drunk and desperate" -Ok tell the truth...you're not into men -You didn't pay for those doodles on your arm did you? -You like look Curt Cobain looks right now. -Your mom must be making bank selling lap dances to be able to afford your PhD in Rimming. -You look like disgust from inside out if she spent all her money on black tar heroin. -"Your arms are as big as a dudes, have you thought about training for MMA career?" -You can't hide your low self esteem with dye and ink. You're literally just a worse Oscar the Grouch. -You definitely used to pick cigs up from the sidewalk and smoke them -Damn all I gotta do hop on this page when I think I’m having a bad day sheeesh -How’s the liberal arts degree working in your adult life -Get back to work SpongeBob -She gives hand jobs to the homeless men in the back alley. Just to be validated -Having my sandwich made by a person who looks like they themselves are past shelf-date and are growing mold is a fantastic customer approach. -You look like Popeye's emo niece -You look like you don’t matter. Even taking the 30 seconds I did to comment this feels like a waste of my time. -If I saw you making my sandwich I’d have the fastest ass out the door -At least we know why they keep you in back...yeesh! -"The fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's? - -How does it feel knowing that you have peaked?" -I'd rather go to Subway with Jared making my sandwich. -"If i saw you behind the counter, id walk out. If you dont wash your hair, no fucking way you wash your hands" -"“I prefer hanging out with guys, girls are too much drama”" -Wow l am confused what is more Roasted ? You or the coffee beans at Jimmy John. -"you look like jimmy gave birth to john and his star sign is "" i hate my dad""" -I can smell you through the pictures -"So when your boyfriend says, ""Make me a sandwich!"" you should have no problems?" -"You look like an accidental collection of cells that could have been something more useful and significant , like maybe barnacles or a moth." -Can't even commit to a hair colour let alone a gender. -Look at her practicing to support the patriarchy she hates so much -"Gotta have the fastest hands with a face like that - -You look like a moldy pear - -You look like the girl that guys lie about not having sex with - -Alt is nice but you arent supposed to be the alt for attractiveness" -…and of course you have a bass clef tattoo. -Did you pull your hair out of the lettuce bin? -ok so Are you jokers side chick or boy toy or something whats with the green hair the i cant tell what gender you are the terrible tats and piercings ? are you like in line to be the next Harly Quinn or something? -Guess your little crypto troupe didn't work out so great if you're still working at JJ 🤷‍♂️ -I just saw a longhorn steer in Texas that wore the nose ring better. Go clean the masturbation out from under your fingernails and get the fuck back to work. -"You’re so unique! The dyed hair, cow ring, and basic shitty tattoos are a great personality. The only thing missing is wearing a crystal necklace so you can pretend the universe loves you more than your dad did." -you look like you're the one giving unenthusiastic blowjobs on lunch time in exchange for cigarretes -When did Kyle rittwnhouse go into weakling protection program? -Looks like someone made “my chemical romance” in your hair -"Ew, gross" -Nose rings are gross. Stop embarrassing yourself.  -I don’t want to roast u; but I also don’t want you anywhere near food. -Your hair looks like diarrhea. That’s all I got.. -You look like one of those festival hippies that stink and don’t believe deodorant. -"Welfare, if it was a person" -You look like a Jimmy John. -Just just look like you stink -The trick to life is to start at the bottom not start as a bottom. -Temu version of the chick fil a girl -Jimmy John’s will never let you go given that your hair can also double as a mop. Very economic of you 👏 -she only uses her hands to make sandwiches because no man wants her to touch them -Your hair looks like it reeks of Kool cigarettes and old Chef Boyardee raviolis -The weed is leaking out of your hair. -You’re hair looks like spinach with mold growing on it -Wish.com version of the Chik fil a girl. -"You were supposed to feel compassion for Oscar the Grouch, not want to be him when you grow up." -Fastest sandwich making hands also are “fastest handjob for the assistant manager in the office on my dinner break” hands. Maybe you’ll get that 35 cent raise. Maybe you won’t. Can Chad really give raises or is he just talking big? -Bull ring? Who owns you? -You are definitely woke -You look like your own highest quality is being the quickest sandwich maker at a Jimmy John’s. -Fastest hands with buns im sure -It shows. -Oh you are pinned down! -The first photo with your green hair if Keemit the Frog magically became human it would be you -"Straight outta the sewer! -Please dont touch my order. - -I can smell shit through the picture" -What kind of gender is making my sandwich -Like a used truck stop condom personified. -How are you so greasy if they don’t have fryers? -"Yeah well I'm sure that's the only meat you touch on a daily basis, with ya ""my dad left when I was 10,"" looking ass." -Pls share with the world how on earth did you grow grass on your head -...way to prove your parents wrong. They thought you'd never learn anything skipping class to give handies behind the bleachers in high school. -Ain't no Jimmy on them Johns. -You blow your weed dealer dont you -You certainly look like you know how to Jimmy a John. -"For fucks sake put on a hairnet, no one wants to taste pubes in their sub" -Bros hair is like the grinches pubes -Not Employee Of The Week yet? Such a loser. -Leo-me-alone -oscar the grouch lookin ass bitch -Obviously you’ve peaked. Congrats. This is as good as it gets for you . -A career at Jimmy John’s. This just seems so fitting. -If Oscar the grouch was white  -"That’s a roundabout way of saying, “I give mediocre handjobs.”" -I'll bet my life savings that you'll never win employee of the month. -"Leo? You look more like a Capricorn. - -/no idea if that's an insult, but it seems like you might think it is" -How can you look stinky? -"Working with potatoes so long made your body actually turn into one 🥔… p.s, your posture is awesome!, reminds me of a Quaver (a different type of potato)" -I'm a Leo and I have the fastest Jimmy John's sandwich eating mouth in my family and you're ugly. -"That's one way to say ""I'm a complete loser""." -you would be cuter bent over a fryer -"You look friendlier than this girl I know that also has green hair. She didn't want to do her job at this mechanic shop near my house, and she got fired cause she didn't show up to work." -Looks like a troll sneezed in your hair -looks about like I expected -"You can make all the sandwiches you want, but you still can’t make your parents proud of you" -Shit girl. Even I wouldn’t suck your farts. 💨 -I'll take the patchouli and armpit hair combo with a large side of bed bugs please. -I didn't even say your name 3 times and you're still gonna pop up on my feed? -You work at the literal worst sandwich shop franchise. Even worse than Blimpie. -"I hate to break it to you, but when people send you SMH, they don't mean sandwich making hands" -Sandwich making hands? With those sausage fingers? Cross contamination is a lot more serious than your fast food job -"A Subway operative with the mission of repulsing Jimmy John’s customers, ultimately leading to the franchise closing." -"Please keep getting tats and piercings and talking about pronouns, I’m sure your life will end up happy" -Saving 3 minutes on brushing your teeth to get started early doesn't really make you the fastest. -All the time spent homeless in the streets giving handys to get by finally paid off. Can make a sandwich in 3.2 seconds -You look like you smell of gherkins -Can smell your vagina from across the Atlantic -"“Those idiot republicans and their stupid religion. By the way, I’m a Leo.”" -Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich -first pick looks like ugly squidward -START LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB! -You joined the Antifa facebook group and think you’re a true warrior standing up for something good. -What does being a Leo have to do with it other than thinking astrology is real and being insufferable? -Your sandwich making hands would make you a fine wife for some dude. Too bad you’re a total carpet muncher. -Your shitty tattoos look like the underside of my desk in 4th grade. -You forgot to write lesbian -Got those quick hands from giving hand jobs to your coworkers in the back room -Someone gets 20$ Friday the 13th tattoos exclusively… -You will never truly be happy -You look like you would be featured on a blackpayback video -looks like you dipped your head into battery acid and sewage. -"Congrats on your transition! - - -But please remind me which way was it?" -"Fastest hand jobs, too." -You look manky…. Must be in the back of the kitchen and not front of house -"At least you don’t have to worry about your coworkers hitting on you. - -Or your sober customers." -That septum piercing is the opposite of unique. -Sanji tattooo -I don’t like Jimmy John’s anymore. - Not even a Loyal Fans could save you -Ew -They keep you in the back so you don't scare people away -Fastest hands and still no girlfriend. -Hair nets do be optional when ur freaky and fast -"You look like the spokesperson for every liberal that nobody wants to talk to because you've nothing interesting to add to the conversation, aside from the completely unhinged rants. Those are pretty entertaining, not gonna lie." -"Zodiac usage, boom roasted" -"We could be here all day... - - -23 and still work in fast food - -Hair color - grow up - -That tattoo...red flag for bad life choices. Not to be outdone by the nose ring. Are you trying to piss off your parents? - -And posting this means you crave attention." -The tattoos and hair tell me you blame other people a lot. -It looks like your estrogen supplements ran out last month -You're Jimmying those Johns all right -"Well, fastest sandwich maker sounds just about right, pretty sure that's the only thing you're good for." -Welp I'm never eating Jimmy johns again -hey at least your hair matches the discharge in your pants -You look like what happens when a vegan and a meth head do a fusion dance with a bag of dicks. -She has that non binary stare -Shut up and make me a god damn sandwich. -Take a shower -"Color in your hair, piercings in your nose, tattoos on your arms. You’re like a younger girl version of me. I cannot roast someone that I see so much of myself in." -She's one of those astrology girls the news is warning you about in LA. Don't date this one during an eclipse. -Those floor tiles have more personality. -"God damn I wanna talk shit but, I’d rather hire you.lol" -That’s definitely a real flower growing out of your dusty ass head. -Take a fucking shower -Wash your hair Jesus fucking Christ -They hired her for the free smells -You give free smells -The handjob for $10 joke in real life. Wash your hands and make me a sandwich -What is it about shit back alley tattoos and badly dyed hair that gets awkward self hating emos so intrigued? -Leo? you looks like a Virgo -Better than the fastest handjobs i guess -"Um, sir? Can you please wear a mask when making my sandwich? No…it’s not about Covid." -Damn you transitioned from the Jimmy Johns’s guy on here yesterday to a trans FAST. -I am not sure if your a man or woman. -"Fastest hands, huh? I bet your brother told you that." -"Damn, you made onions cry!" -"""fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's"" ... that's like saying I have the best pancake tits in the trailer park, which you obviously don't. The septuagenarian in the double-wide still has better." -You simply look like you are allergic to showering. -We know you don't wash your hands and handle STDs real quick too. That's Jimmy John's off the list of places I want to eat now. -You're into astrology -I know for a fact that you smell and I've never met you -Midlife Crisis at 23 -"Your parents would be disappointed, if only you had any" -You mistyped “jerking off hands.” -I wouldn’t eat the sandwich if I saw you on the grill -"You work at Jimmy’s. - -Need i say more?" -You’re cute and have a have a meatball marinara? -Smile girl xoxo -I'm not gonna roast you. Life is roasting you with that wagie job. -Do those sandwiches come with pronouns? Do I need to ask it for consent before I eat it? -"The floor mop goes back into the bucket when you're done, you'll just get hair all over it wearing it on your head." -Oscar the grouch with anemia -"Every time a new gender comes out, you adopt it." -"You don’t put bumper stickers on a Ferrari, guess you’re a used Honda civic." -POV you took a PHD in art history. -You give off very scurvy vibes and I feel uncomfortable assuming your gender. -Getting them/they vibes -I don’t know if you’re a boy or girl -Did you get lost on the way to Starbucks? -If only you could sort your life out as quick as you can a sandwich -Weird way to say you’ve failed life -"You look like marla hooch, buy not as pretty" -Using sandwich meat grease as hair moisturizer eh 😮 -It's like Oscar The Grouch and Dora had a disappointing daughter (?) -"pic 1- who shit on your sub sandwich ? pic 2- ok, nice. happy happy joy joy ;)" -Leo here too!!! -When did you transition? -"Good for you - already tattooed ""minimum wage"" beforehand." -"Take the bull ring out, you'll still be ugly but trrruuuuussstt me." -Putting that you’re a Leo in your bio tells me everything I need to know about you. “I have zero accountability and everything I do wrong or all of my flaws can be blamed on my astrological sign.” -Easy freaks are freaky fast -“Sandwich making” hands. That’s what they call them now? -Look like ur headed to a days n daze show after work -You have reached your peak life abilities nothing ahead of you now except endlessly making sandwich after sandwich and talking about your nonexistent glory days. -You look like even the LGBTQ community didn’t want you -Pure gormless. -"Can I get a beach club, but please hold the yeast infection? Thanks." -They call her lightning lefty Leo in the streets -"You need to use those hands to wash that nappy hair girl, damn. Mayos not a hair product" -"Honestly, I cant tell if your a dude or a chick.." -Is that what they call the kitchen in women's prison? -Is that white girl dreads? 😂 that 😻 probably hairy af all natural like in the 60s -I prefer my sandwich makers to not be so frumpy. -"Smells tuna, tastes like chicken sandwich." -Typical bass player. -I don’t think you want to tell any guys about how much meat you’ve touched -Participation Trophy ~~Wife~~ Side Piece. -If I seen you working anywhere I'd walk straight back out -Izz ok. Iz only smells. -You better not touch my sandwich before you wash those hands bitch! -"How about you do your job instead of seeking attention, while on the clock." -"You got bad posture, and you can tell that you have saggy tits." -"Sir, that isn't hair, that's the extra grass clippings outside my house..." -I hope you know that you work for a company that was founded by a poacher. 😖 -Jimmy wouldn’t let you touch his John -Keep em coming Old Gregg -Not good enough for Jersey Mikes I guess -Fastest hands in Jimmy's parking lot... -The perfect cross between a Hillbilly and a Hippie -And that’s the only hand job anyone wants from you. -OP uses this line to customers to make some extra cash behind Jimmy Johns -At least tell us the pussy isn't in keeping with one of your sandwiches. -You look like you could forearm curl a shitton. -"Please acknowledge me. I will laugh but there is a flaw in my programming that has been exploited by all of social media. While we're at it, underneath all of what's on the face of this application, have my data. It's for sale." -The septum just got to goooo -"I asked for NO patchouli and dog shit on my sandwich. OH, that's just you." -Green hair -You look like you would excel at Jimmy John's. -You look like Popeye's daughter -"You look like a modern-day Disney version of Typhoid Mary. - -I can also smell you from here and I want decide if it's the onions or the body odor." -"Green hair -Tattoos -Astrology sign believer" -The kief flakes falling from your hair alone should get that place shut down. -"Youre already roasting yourself with these pics and caption, no need" -"All the green hair dye, horoscopes, the septum ring, the tattoos and your rejection of the patriarchy and you still ended up making sandwiches. Destiny is a bitch, ain’t it?" -"I see you bought the ""I wanna look like a liberal"" starter kit from eBay. - -Comes with: - --nose ring - --expired hair color - --stained clothes with holes in them - --nickname creator - --3 STD tests - --welfare application - --3 dudes phone numbers that'll still hit it despite looking like the tread worn off 5 years ago" -Get back to the dish pit -She’s the queen of farts. -Billie Ew-lish -Puts a whole new meaning to their sign “free smells” -You don’t look like a law enforcement officer -Congratulations for rising to your pinnacle of achievement. -Looks like you got some spoiled lettuce on your head -"Ah, ol motor-hands herself" -So you know how to work jimmy john meat fast. So can anyone -"You’re a leo, the last thing you need is more attention" -"Cool story, now go make me a sandwich" -"could he have your number, actually, I guess" -"A Leo, or a lion like the one in the wizard of Oz. - -Whats confusing me though is you look more like the scarecrow on a bad day and missing a brain with it." -Do you make LGTBQIA+ sandwiches? 🤣 -Her face says it all -"You look like an ugly version of Billie Eilish, without the enormous knockers. They should call you Belly Eyelash" -If vomit was a person -Jimmy John’s bitch. -comment -"You gotta look at the positive side of the breakup if you cared about her. At least, her life is going to be a lot better going forward." -you look like a clinically depressed boiled egg -"Damn Bro , Drop The hair care routine" -A GF isn’t really a GF if they didn’t know or agree to it. -She must not be a Moby fan. -"GF left you, hair left you, and now, with this post, self-respect is leaving too..." -bald at 24? nothing i could say to you can compare to that -She was jealous you were only going to get on one knee for her but you get on two knees for guys at the gym. -There’s plenty of fish in the sea…for everyone else. You’ll be alone forever. -Atleast you wont lose any hair from it. -"You messed up the 2 and the 4 ," -Twenty fucking FOUR? -"Are you sure your online gamer girlfriend was ""female""?" -"Hey you're not doing bad for 42.   - - -Also it's only October.  You still have a month to break up with her before she breaks up with you!" -“Hi vsauce Michael Here!” -You make mayonnaise seem exotic -"In her defense, you look boring as hell." -Could be worse. You could be bald. -On the plus side you have your forehead -"Awww, you're single? We could tell by your everything" -You look old enough to go pick up some 42 year old divorcees -"You know what they say about women.. ""hair today, gone tomorrow."" close shave on that one." -"Bro, listen. I’m 37 and there is NO WAY you’re younger than me." -You look like the IT guy at work that the fat HR chicks want to vent to. And you listen. -Honest question - are you too stupid to know October is the 10th month of the year? -That sucks man but at least you still have your hai… -I’m sure the next one won’t be able to make it out of the basement -"Truth be told she didn’t leave you. She was walking back to you when the glare from your fucking head caused her to go sun blind, and she accidentally walked into traffic." -She’s definitely banging a dude with a head full of hair -How is life after singing Lighting Crashes? -Tyson McFlurry -"And Moby? You could get stomped by Obie. -You thirty six year old bald headed *** blow me. -You don't know me, you're too old, let go -It's over, nobody listens to techno." -It’s never yours… just your turn. Her new guy’s cock can probably touch both sides at the same time. You were just rubbin’ that left lip -"She dodged a smooth, waxed, bullet." -I’m banging her. She’s *tight* when you get past the first two inches. -Bro's wearing Christmas shorts before Halloween and wondering what might be off putting about himself. -"Be honest….shes in pieces and in your basement, isn’t she?" -By “left” you mean you can’t afford her OF. -Even Robben had more hair at 24. -She left with that hairline… -"Hey, you wanted her to be happy, now she has a chance." -"I’m guessing you’re bad at dates and always missed things like your anniversary. Either that, or you meant to post this in a month." -You spelled 42 backwards -24 is the new 50 -I got nothing. Nothing can be worse than what we are looking at right here -I thought bald guys were supposed to have high testosterone. -did she know she was your gf -You look like you suck all the positive energy from the room -"Lot of typos here , pretty sure he ment to say “42M” and “BF”" -She ran off with the Amazon driver -She didn’t leave you you’re just old enough now to know she was never real in the first place. -I mean it’s not like she was gonna say yes anyway right? -She will come back when your hair does. -Lol “24” ohohhkay buddy -The other guy isn't bald. -24 going on 57. -You typed 44 wrong -Moby has fallen on hard times. -You dodged a bullet at least you not going bald. -"I’m sure she is regretting walking out in a balding 2 pump chump that probably plays video games all day. Yeah she was looking forward to squeezing out another pathetic geek like you. -At least you know you’re a sad sack of shit." -"Quit looking to feel sorry for yourself. Fugg that bitch. Get back up on your feet and keep walking. You are 24, plenty of life ahead of you. This is just a bump in the road. Get out there and tear it up." -Wish.com VSauce Michael here. Do you know the fastest possible speed one can lose their girlfriend? -Boy that head look like a KNEECAP -Let me guess she found you CP files on your computer🤮 -"Big dog, shave the head, go full bald trust. Just keep the beard" -You look like a depressed couch fart -"You're welcome to get roasted, but not to lie. Swap those faked age numbers from 24 to the correct 42 so we can roast your middle-aged, abandoned, hopeless ass properly." -You look like Heisenberg on estrogen. -Why's the date wrong? -"At least you’ve got your hai…, visi…, well you look youn…, you look thru your glasses! Cheers, have a good weekend!" -Were you planning to propose to your hairline too? -he looks like a sad version of steve from blues clues. like if college and being a detective didn't work out. -Waaah. Waaah. Put your big boy pants back on. Bitch would’ve taken you to the cleaners. -Probably left you for a guy with a full head of hair -She was only with you because she lost a bet. -"Much like the fart, you’re easy to leave behind" -You traveled from the future (11/25/24) to come back in time and get roasted? -I am sorry to hear that you are getting your hand amputated -"It gets way worse when you find out who she’s fucking now. Just keep your head up and remember, she was fucking him the whole time." -"By ""left me"" you mean ""blocked me"". You should not be proposing to Only Fans models, and just because they take your money, it doesn't make them your gfs." -"Okay, listen. Hair transplant, contacts, get rid of that dad beard, the gym, 5 hours a week lifting fuck cardio, need to be about 200lbs muscle, then go get a masters. Pick up an undergrad and post that shit. - -Don't skip leg day but you skipped every day, get in there, pay for a trainer. - -Chad will dump exgf, she'll see the post and fucking cry like never - -Trust me, when you're yoke, they don't care you're dumb and ugly." -"""hey guys vsauce michael here, my marriage will be great!! or will it??""" -Probably already banging several other dudes -Smartest move she did was splitting. -She’s got excellent taste in men -She made the right call -The dude she was seeing behind your back was 100% railing her better -No shot you’re younger than me my guy -8 ball side pocket -Like your hair? -Stanley Douchey. -"Who left first, your GF or your hair?" -At least you've still got your gig as a Guess Who board game character -She probably started desiring bigger dicks having to stare at your bald head all day -I can see why. -Your hair left you too! -Left and took your hair that’s fucked -"It’s not that you’re bald, it’s that you’re bald and you have somehow managed to have a round head and a pointed head at the same time. Not to mention the fact you look like the most boring guy working at a shoe store" -"You look more like 42 than 24 -Go get a hair transplant like a good little doggy" -Nah. Fuck her. -It doesn't count if she undid the chains and escaped your basement -"Moby, no body listens to techno." -"How did you make a Tesla robot leave you already?! - -Never mind…I can see it now." -She's going to come back. -You would make a great guess who character -"If it makes you feel better, she was probably never going to say yes." -She found the CP or the basement or the basement full of CP. -"Well you got the 40 year old divorced dad look going for ya atleast, just skipped the marriage part" -I’d leave as well -"It could be worse, you could be bald...nevermind" -Maybe she decided she didn't want a lifetime of explaining to other people that you're not her father. -What is it with Gen-Z and them look old as fuck in their early to mid-twenties? Serious question because I know 40 year olds who look younger than shaved potato head in the picture. -Can’t even hang a curtain straight. No wonder she left you -Did she finally graduate high school and go off to college? -"You look like the floor of a night club, after it closes and the lights come on." -Atleast you know how to read a calender. -The game isn't over if a pawn takes the queen. Stay strong King. -Isn't this the dude from Men in Black who's head got blown off and then grew back? -Lmao 🤣 this dude totally messed up 💯 look at how he is standing there guilty AF -11/25/2024? -"""Hey VSauce, Michael here.""" -"She’s here. Wanna talk to her? Hang on, said she’s coming. Never mind, she’s tied up at the moment." -"Dude, you’re wearing Christmas jammies in October. She’s with a guy wearing Halloween jammies" -"You look so sad in the second picture, I understand your pain but you have to move on. Stay focused on things that made you happy before you met her or whatever you like doing." -"Admittedly, her move isn’t -that- bold" -Did your mom throw away your anime pillow again. Maybe you should move out soon 🤷 -"He or She probably couldn't stand the glare from your chrome dome, you could have sandpapered it to dull it! Or use some type of flat paint! 😜🤪" -You must have lost all your hair from the stress. -Vsauce probably called her up and it was an easy choice. -Gen Z aged like milk. -"I’m sure seeing her ex posting on a roasting subreddit will make her want to take you back, and definitely not send it into a group chat with all of her friends (possibly becoming a chat name or icon for the foreseeable future)" -She left?? She musta took your hair with her! -"Make it worse?? She is coming back!!!! See, that's worse.." -"Anyway, you look kind of like a sock" -"Dude. How did you get the date wrong. Is your reflective head actually a crystal ball, and you're out here predicting your own future?" -Be the guy from third photo. -"Fuck the roast. I’m sorry dog. Breakups are fucking tough. - -I’d tel you that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but that doesn’t matter when you only want one fish. - -You got a nice jawline, a head that pulls off being balled, and stellar beard grooming. Kee your chin up." -"She left because she asked you to fix the crooked curtain rod a billion times, but you kept saying she could do it herself." -Upside down head -Sorry... You're just not the one.. To roast. -Cheaper than a divorce or a wedding. -Damn VSauce... that sucks. -"count yourself lucky, you dodged a bullet...also you will have more money now that you don't have to spend it on the ex :)" -At least you shouldn’t have to worry about any more breakups in the future -Now you can hit the gym and find another one that’s better -You were born on a highway bc that’s where most accidents happen -"Man, I can’t roast you rn. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that some day you find another. Luckily, times are changing and there is still hope for hair growing technology." -"Honey, you have the wrong date. -Also, this is horrible and I’m sorry it happened to you." -"You are a LEGEND! FUCK HER! Don't look back. 180 Rule! Look it up.Gym. This is your dark backstory. Shave the head, don't speak. Be angry. Be a mystery. Just a goatee Be the villain." -"I don't understand why you took use on a tour of your sad empty house in your Christmas pajama pants, taking unflattering selfies of yours- ooooohhh okay I know why she left you..." -You were ever born bald or are lying about your age. -Second pic looks like you need a womp womp sound track to complete the pic. Also dog u look sad asf I could see why she left u 😭 -"For starters, it's the 10th month not the 11th..." -Can't be cruel. Sorry Dude. -You remind me of a myspace predator -"Dude, I don't know what to go for here. The lack of hair.. the coke bottle glasses? The incorrect date on the card? The crappy handwriting. The poor dress sense? The shitty phone? You got 99 problems bro, and a &itch aint one." -Bro holy shit even juice wrld couldn’t write a song for this shit jeeez -"Damn, my guy. Can’t roast you here with that type of intro. You’re not an ugly dude, but maybe she’s got a lot to work on herself. It’s possible you both do. Sheesh. Maybe she’s finding herself? Maybe she feels like your values don’t align? - -Good god. That’s rough. I mean, your rug is ugly? The curtains can use some work too. Lmfao I really can’t say anything about you. The curtains really are terrible. lol. Good luck, you’re a good looking guy, try not to take these comments to heart. They’re really mean for no reason. I’m sure that’s what you wanted but lol shit." -"Oh fuck, sorry to hear that man. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Hopefully things will get better. I’m sending a virtual hug. And if you need, reach out to someone. And if you got no one, I’m here to help. Just come and talk to somebody, alright? You’re not alone." -44M -"You have the face of a really buff guy. That’s it, though" -"I’m not a virgin, or am I? - Nintendo EShop Vsauce." -Hey it's V-Sauce -24 or 44 man? Genetics fucked you up -"Hey, V-sauce! Micheal here!" -Worst 24 ever -24 in dog years god damn 😂 -"Your gf is at my place, said she's never had an orgasm until 10 minutes ago. -She refers to you as senior citizen Blippi" -I fucked her -You look like eastern European Kevin Spacey. -He's already blinded me with his trim that never ends shit his eyebrows already have social distancing on his forehead -I can see why..... -I would’ve guessed 44 -Bro gave us ammunition w the explanation -You look like V Sauce if he had no intelligence -"Nah i aint roasting you’re a good looking guy, f that girl" -At least you know what month it is.... -"You look like Wooly Willy (the magnetic iron filing face toy), so I'm guessing your exgf was allergic to magnets." -Does your body not know hair belongs on your head? Do you comb your back? -"It's okay Vsauce, we still love your videos! Keep it up!" -You look like the human version of Squidward who works as an insurance adjuster. -Look on the bright side. Now you won't have to drop a lot of money on christmas presents. -Christmas jammies before thanksgiving probably didn’t help your case -"Im 11 years older than you and the same thing happened to me. Been thinking about eating a 9mm… if I had your hairline at your age, I wouldn’t just be thinking about it" -"Oh, I could saw my reflection in that bald head." -Lmao less successful Moby wannabe -Ol' dude here from the future -"Lmao.. cry me a fucking river, will ya??" -Sup micheal from vsause -Can’t be to bad seeing your hair also have left you. -"Left to college, he’s a school counselor who’s had a creepy itch for a sophomore for 2 years now." -"Yes, we can confirm that your self-respect can’t be found in any of these rooms. The good news is that the same bag of slit wrists DOES appear in all of them." -Cam models banning your account for inappropriate requests isn’t a breakup. -24 with the hairline of a 40 year old -Stop basing your happiness on someone else and start freebasing. -Guess who game…. is it a man? is he bald? does he wear glasses? does he have beard? Is he crying? Is if fit gummy bear? -Damn you should’ve done a better job tying her up. -Ur gf left u because u ugly asf -"24, times two plus seven you mean!" -"Well, you don't need to worry about losing your hair overthinking about it; that's for sure!" -24? You sure you didn't switch the numbers? -24 going on 45 -Welcome back from the future -"At least when you fuck your alsatian now, you'll not feel like you're cheating on her!" -24? Are you sure -Take a nice holiday to Turkey and show her she’s missing out -Did she leave you because she was sick of aircraft flying low over your house using your forehead as a way marker? -Did she leave because you’re a never-nude? -"Are you 24 or 42? Admit it, you could only lie to her for so long until she found out your real age" -"Well, if you shaved and took the glasses off.. You would look almost identical to one of my toes." -Idk can you really blame her for leaving? I mean if you were her wouldn't you leave as well? -I appreciate you making me look and feel younger at 36 -Why is the date on the card for november? -"Did she take the hair when she left? Oh well, at least she left you those pants." -"*My girlfriend, to whom I was planning to propose, left me. Make it worse. - -Are you sure she left you or did she just go on vacation and your reading comprehension was too low to understand the note?" -So you ripped your hair out in a fit of rage? -Don’t worry she would be back to finish what she started. -Depression wrapped in Christmas looking pajama pants. She did the right thing. -"Look at the bright side - she was pregnant, and you're not the daddy. This time..." -How can she not see a future with you and your crystal ball 😢 -She asked you to join the hair club and you said hello no -Did she take your hair with her? -"20:20 vision, hair in all the right places and a keeper. - -I'm sure you'll bounce back champ. - -Can even put up curtain rails and dress yourself competently." -someday soon a handsome prince is going to sweep you off your feet and teach you how to suck dick with your asshole -Bro got that stupid build (must stay atleast 200 feet away from school property) -"Don’t worry, in only 20 years most men your age will be bald as well and maybe then you will find a woman." -fuck i need sunglasses just to look at your head -You could always go do the reboot of Blues Clues. -24? LOL -Pic 2 captures how you’ll look the rest of your life -GF didn’t leave you. Just add 30lbs of air -At least you have all of that room for activities. -Why would you even think about proposing to a girl that obviously has terrible taste? -24 going on 34 -If Andre Agassi and Moby had a baby. -You always have your cartoon dog Blue to cry to . -She probably left because you’re a dumbass. You had one job and got the date wrong on your lil index card 🤦🏽‍♂️ -She thought you were someone else the whole time. -She will be back as soon as the new BF sees this. -"Hey, at least she left before having to listen to an endless podcast about your beard grooming routine! Keep your chin up.... oh wait, that won’t take much effort with all that forehead space you’ve got. - -Hope that light-hearted roast brings a smile!" -You should start a YouTube channel -"GF left, now let's talk about this post's sponsor: keeps" -"Unlike your forehead, she could not see herself in that relationship" -You look like a sad golden retriever. Bet she threw the ball and when you came back she was gone. -Did she take your hair with her? -You just know what colour pool ball she's moving to after this cue ball lol -Isn't your girlfriend holding the /roastme sign? -You definitely pee sitting down -Girlfriend? Liar. Moby wants Dick. -bro you moldy lunchly cheese not subscribed to angry peach ahh human -She left because she realized she didn’t want to marry someone whose entire wardrobe screams permanently single. -"She changed teams, too" -"You look like a condom that's tried to draw a beard on itself with marker pen: physically unable to experience puberty but so, so desperate to pretend." -"Hey Vsauce, Micheal here!" -I'm guessing she didn't wanna pop up on a list with you when someone bought a house in your neighborhood. -V Sauce! Michael here. -She's probably fucking another dude rn tbh... -was it because of the point on your head? -"Just FYI, when you take the schizophrenic medication your hallucinations are SUPPOSED to go away." -"So the old basement dungeon is a bit empty now and you can’t find a new victim, it’s ok bud you’ll find a new one to put the lotion on it’s skin so it doesn’t get the hose again" -You look like a soyboy version of VSauce -"She left you for a bald, bearded, ugly guy who has bad eyesight. - -But at least that guy knows it isn't November." -Looks like vSauce but at around 13IQ. -"Im 38 and look way younger, you got some good genes buddy." -You look like an egg with side burns -Maybe she left you because you don’t know what month we are in. -You look like a right wing pod cast host who’s mad there isn’t any trad wives in your area. -You forgot to say Hey Vsauce Michael here -Vsauce? 😂😂 -"We would all love you.. I mean if you were ‘better.’ Realistically you have an entire life ahead of you, and now is your time to truly find who you are as a person. And figure out what you want. Take this time, focus on yourself and how to get to where it is that you want to be. You will be fine." -Lol “GF” ohohhkay buddy -You look like a hobo clown minus the wig -She took your hairdryer when she left -Did she leave on a quest to find your hairline? Could be the new search for the grail -"That's so sad, I bet you bald all night. " -"Nice try Murr, I know this is an Impractical Jokers bit." -"You look like How To Basic, no wonder your GF left you, she was tired of the amount of eggs you waste while making a how to video thats pointless" -Michael really let go of himself after he left VSauce -Nice triangle-shaped scalp 👍👍 -Look like if V Sauce and Murray had a baby -You look like a bald fake ass broke 50 year old eminem from Chinatown -It's the Patron Saint of Gay Porn -Why so serious? You know what you want to do… -"She wasn't your gf if she didn't know she was, until she caught you breaking into her home and sniffing her underwear." -Go to the gym and fix your posture Moby looking MF -She wanted to be free to date the new boys might meet in 1st grade. -Dumbass can’t even write the correct date. -"You don’t propose to your beard, bro." -You didn't see this coming?? You do live 1 month in the future! (Check the pic.) -She did a favor. Never marry -From a man who's wife cheated on him after 8 then 12 years of marriage thinking it was my fault. Look up brother... for the stars shine on you this day! Today is a day of revelry! You can find your ONE! The one who ensures your priority is equal to hers! The ONE who makes your needs equal to hers! The ONE who knows men are equal to women in our emotional frailty and knows that we are as equally important as they are. FIND YOUR ONE BROTHER!!!!!!🖤🖤🖤 -At least there’s no one around to hate on your stupid pants anymore -brother 👨 -Bro looks like stupid non jacked v-sauce -"Your girlfriend may have left, but at least you still have your boyfriend. " -VSauce! Depressed guy here -"You need to sit down in your thinking chair and think, think, think about how you’re going to move on." -Roast this bald time bandit from a month in the future! -"""Hey Vsauce Micheal here. You are single.. - -Or are you?""" -11/25/2024. So if you’re from the future then how did the election turn out? -"My brother. Let it go. Being bald (I’m bald, started shaving my head at 23. I’m 30 now) is perfectly fine. Having a head of hair is perfectly fine. The in between you have going on, is not." -"It's not your fault, she didn't want to have bald kids" -No man needs a woman. Just rent them by the hour. -Bro looks like Vsauce -She probably found out what a Soyjak was -"You look like the saddest happy person ever - -I bet you got disappointed the day you were born" -What happened? Her sight came back or senses? -"It’s okay, not everyone wants to date Steve from blues clues. Sometimes it’s just time to grow up" -V Sauce? -We don’t roast egg we boil them. -Oh shit it’s not moby -You look like Mr. Garrison from South Park in human form. -11/25/24? Time traveler? -i heard the big lebowski sequel was casting for bowling balls -She left because she couldn’t see a future with you due to the blinding light coming off your head -Looks like she did herself a favor. -I think you are very handsome 🖤 -"And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie -You thirty six year old bald headed -You don't know me, you're too old, let go, it's over -Nobody listens to techno" -TIL that I’m 33 and can still pass as a 24 year old. College here I come. -At least she stuck around longer than your hair and eyesight. -"24M? 42M, there fixed it for you" -You look like a person who doesn't know the difference between November and October. -"“Hey, I have a secure relationship. -Or do I?” -V-sauce theme" -Don't worry; she left you for a woman with a bigger dick. -"I heard once that there are 10,000 compatible women for every man. I then learned, over time, that all of mine were living in another country. Finally found someone when I was your age. (Though it did take an epic ice storm for us to meet.) Married, 2 kids, divorced after 32 years. Free advice: Just take your time in finding someone. You’ll be fine. Nice beard, by the way." -"Hi vsauce, Michel here I'm leaving you." -"We are in October, not November...." -Dean Pelton -VSauce at home -"God damn boy, 24? Fuuuck the only person that hates you more than your ex is clearly God." -"Look on the bright side, she’s now probably getting railed by someone interesting with a full head of hair who doesn’t live in his mother’s basement. - -Breaking up with you has given her all she ever wanted. You just wanted her to be happy." -"Hey Vsauce, ugly ass bitch here. - -Now my life is going well, Or is it?" -"Not a roast -But shave bold please" -What if Moby was a dirty cue-tip. -24 💀 -She told me to say hi. -"I know that feeling, eventually found my wife" -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->I just turned 39 years old, recently discovered that I’m ADD, I obsess over the smallest things, I’m emotional, and I’m starting over with a new career in digital marketing/content creation. - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -"If ""Live, Laugh, Love"" was a brand of bronzer" -You gave your kids weird names with unconventional spellings and tell them to “use your words.” While telling strangers about their allergies. -I bet your husband makes frequent trips to Home Depot to avoid you. -"""Husband not home, I need attention""" -Your tv is too high. -"You look like one of those women who thinks having kids transforms you into some kind of special nurturing goddess. I bet you have multiple ""Mama Bear"" shirts you keep in constant rotation." -I feel like the mailman has already hit you with his best shot. -Someone please let her know that having an OnlyFans does not count as Digital Marketing/ Content Creation! -You look like you want to speak to the manager of roasts after ordering 1 roasts please. -Get off Reddit and clean the fucking house. -Your nose looks like it’s been palming basketballs -"Anyone who says, “I’m ADD,” instead of “I have ADHD (ADD isn’t a recognized diagnosis anymore) is taking their kids Adderall to clean their house and go to PTO meetings." -You look like you start up a lil song and dance when a kid drowns in a river of chocolate… -Clinging to 2004 for dear life. Let it go. And tone down the “bowling alley whore” setting on your makeup shotgun. -I bet the ceiling fan blades are sagging less than your tits. -Digital marketing/content creation: Tell us you're on OF without telling us you're on OF. -5’6” with forehead 4’11” without -"Damn i got reddit just today, shits fkn ruthless" -Drop a pic of the hubby. He's the one we need to roast for taking one off the streets. -Show us all your live laugh love signs -You just look like boring sex and mind numbing conversation. The human version of Cheerios. Your husband is either secretly gay or banging the only hot friend you have. -You look like you married a mommy’s boy who knocked you up so you wouldn’t leave and now hate your children and you cheat on the weekends with people who DM you on Reddit and charge 6 bottles of prosessco to the hotel room to drink in the car outside your house before you go back to your mundane life before next weekend. -i bet at least one of those kids isnt your husbands. -"Hint, pretending to be a lonely suburban house mom won't get you laid." -You have been annoying for 39 years. Too late to hop in the ADD bandwagon -You’re at the right age to start regretting that “Exit Only” tramp stamp. -"You don't have to tell us you're 39, we know." -You hit the wall harder than Paul Walker -"You look like you're only 29........ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -........dicks away from hitting 1000." -"Noooooo, you don’t say?! A 39 year old wife and mother with piercings in just about every visible orifice (and I’m sure all non-visible as well) and peacock feathers for eye lashes is going into “digital marketing/content creation!” 😱 This is, by far, the most original thing I’ve seen on the internet today. Just post your link and quit wasting our time. 💅🏻" -She's definitely tried selling mary Kay or scentsy -I feel like your husbands white but your kids are both half black. -/r/TVTooHigh -You look exactly as dull as you described yourself. -"Smart, first kid locks him down second one makes sure he can’t leave. Clever girl!" -"American credit dream, swallowed in debt beyond imagination." -Does your husband know about your onlyfans account? -You look like the mom who post everything your kids do on the neighborhood Facebook page. -I can’t think of a good roast. So I’m gonna go check out the nudes the 22 year old your husband is fucking just posted. -Housewife pretending her desperation for attention is a career opportunity -“Content creation” .. Clearing throat.. -"Lay off the tan bed sweetie, you're looking like Trump" -Do you and Trump use the same tanning lotion? -"So, peaked in high school and fired from Waffle House....got it!" -"Mediocre looks, mediocre house. mediocre life. shell end up cheating on her husband with a 20 year old from her “new career”,then blame him like it’s his fault." -"3 inches of bronzer, fake lashes, flapjack tits, and a nose that can cast a 6 foot shadow. - -Hmm. Are you a basic soccer mom that drinks wine from her McDonald's cup during her kids practice while constantly talking about how hard life is and that everyone is against you? - -Or are you a Muppet? Cause you look like a mixture of a fraggle and a bird." -You have the smile of JK Simmons and the eyes of someone who has seen a metric ton of dicks. -Two words besides this sentence. Gold digger. -You look like a sturgeon with makeup -she’s a diamond tier at doTERRA and can cure cancer with her tea tree almond breast milk blend -Looks like the branches on the ugly tree hit you harder than we ever could. -"Congratulations on being a a semen receptacle twice. -And managing to find someone who put up with your orange qualities." -“Ashleighlynn come get your cbd hot dog” -"Looking at you, I’d assume that your kids are all grown up by now." -"When your Contrast on your television is to high, this is what it looks like." -You could open a tin with that chin -I can tell you are the cool mom because of the nose ring./s -I bet your kids are named braylen and dylan. -new career in digital marketing/content creation = flicks the bean on OF -Birthed 2 kids but your nostrils are still the biggest hole in your body. -I don’t have anything mean to say other than I personally believe that if you mount your TV over your fireplace like this you should be shot. That’s all folks -Your balding beautifully for 39 . Nice edges.. -Put your wedding ring back on and stop being a whore on the internet… -Just wait till your kids find out what a digital content creator is. They will never be able to look at mommy the same! 🥺 -Do you obsess over those weird little white fuzzy nose hairs?? Do you own tweezers? -I'm not rltalking shit to someone that can smell an ip address -Good luck with the “content creation” *coughs* ONLYFANS -You look like you could snort coke with a shovel. -if Live Laugh Love was a person -"I can read that sign on the wall. It says: - -“Family Rules: -- Leave Shit All Over the Floor -- Make Sure You Show Just Enough Shoulder -- You’re Never Too Old for a Nose Ring -- Tan More -- Leave the High Chair Where It’s Easily Reachable by Kidnappers -- And… Love One Another!”" -You look like you tell people that Rae Dunn is an artistic hero of yours. -Hide your coke from THAT nose. -NEWS FLASH:That nose piercing doesn’t at all detract from your biblically-proportioned schnoz - it actually accentuates it like planting a flag at the base of a mountain! -2006 wants its makeup back. -I’m impressed your wife stayed with you as you transitioned -"Well, at least you're honest about content creation. Just drop the link and let's all move on with our day" -Your eyelashes are more spread out than your vagina. -"The most embarrassing thing about you is that you posted in this sub for some validation. Shows how sad your ""married with 2 kids"" life really is." -"""I obsess over the smallest thing""... but not over making sure the house is clean before posting a selfie." -"You are one basic bitch. You are unremarkable and dull. You’re so ugly that guys rate you by how many beers it would take to fuck you. Fuck you, your Stanley cup, your Wagoneer, your French Bulldog, fake tan and your fake eye lashes." -Do you have a medical diagnosis of jaundice? Your skin resembles the color of a number 2 pencil. So brave of you to post here. -"You look like one of those entitled moms who makes her kids her entire personality and puts her kids above everything, including yourself and your husband. I bet you only have sex on your husbands birthday." -It’s over. -I’m sure your husband can only get it up for you with the lights off and handful of viagra -Ask your husband to give you more compliments -"39? hahaha, 39 in dog years maybe." -I was wondering where I left my Cadillac. I think it's in your nose. -"Jesus , you could show a movie on that forehead" -Clean your ducking house and take a shower - seriously -You say hit me with your best shot like you’re looking for a third kid -You wear those leggings with juicy written across the arse although you really shouldn't. -"I may as well hit you with my best shot, every other dude in the tristate area has." -Waiting for the OnlyFans link to be posted. -This is not a dating site put your ring back on. -"You don’t clean, your hair is turning gray, and your husband has to tie a board to his ass when you have sex so he doesn’t fall in." -Holy shit I just zoomed on your “eyelashes.” WTF -Almost 40 and still have a nose ring? Shouldn’t you have grown out of the angsty teen phase by now? -Look at that beak. She regurgitates her food for her kids. -You look like you don’t get along with your mother in law -"You walked into a barn, a horse looks at you and asks, ""Why the long face?""" -“I’m a whiskey drinkin’ confederate flag wavin’ big truck drivin’ “separated” mom (because we both cheated on each other) and I ain’t raising my babies to be no sissy liberals” vibes. -Your eyelashes look like lethal weapons! -"I don’t know how to explain it, but I just know you’re a “boy mom”." -"Milf - -Mom - -I'd - -Like to - -Forget" -The best thing any of your shitty kids could do is to rip that stupid shit out of your nose. -I just know your sooo freaking bored with your life lol -I bet that house smells like dirty diapers and tater tots. -You’re posting online to get attention that you cannot get from your husband -you look like someone who would say you too after an employee at a movie theater said enjoy your movie -You look like you think your still hot and fuck dudes off tinder in parking lots -I don’t think she will feel any insults through that foundation she’s wearing -"I'm not saying you look slutty or anything, but I heard that when gave birth to your second child you pushed it in and out a couple times." -You look like you have massive liver failure -"I'd wager her stomach looks like she had a stomach tickling contest with Freddy Krueger and lost. She SURVIVED, but definitely lost." -"If you obsess over the “smallest” things, how much of your day is spent thinking about your tits?" -"Your only MOM, on the weekend." -Since when does appearing on Facial Abuse count as your own content creation? -Only Fans ? Yeah that’s not really content creation. -Used up porn star -Another trans dude trying to drum up karma for an OF. This is getting old... -"I bet she has about 3000 different healing crystals that she likes to drag out and bother any company with for many hours. Then out of nowhere she'll pull out the special handbag crystal, mercilessly smashing it then loudly snorting it. Then she goes ""WOOOO!!!!"" and continues going on about the crystals again, but insanely fast." -"You look like a lot of guys have hit you with their ""best shot""" -"39 year old mother\anteater. Do you suck up -Their crumbs with just the one or both nostrils?" -When did your top lip vacate your face? -I didn’t think you could make kids just doing it in the butt. -Gross -You’re not 39. 49-59 probably -With that bio you’re 10/10 a MILD. -"I bet your husband, father of your first kid and father of your second kid - all three of them regret their desisions." -You seem to be almost at the bottom of the hill. -Nice fivehead. -What disability does your husband have that allowed you to nab a man? -I don't know what concerns me more the height of your TV or your hairline -You look like that guy from that trans porn I nutted to three times by accident. -"Your husband already hit you with his best shot. And no amount of caked-on orange clown makeup can hide the bruises - -Edit: also your head shaped like a lemon" -You might want to get your jaundice checked out. Or go to a different fake and bake tanning salon -"You’re giving r/iamthemaincharacter because you have “recently discovered” you have ADD, which has only taken you 39 years - -Oh wait you’re r/notliketheothergirls" -Nose is big enough you could use a hula hoop for a nose ring. -You look like you scream at your kids in the car. -You look like a professional wrestler -Everything about you has been provided by your husband. Enjoy waffling about working -Clicking your profile and not seeing NSFW was a big suprise. -Your youth is fleeting like your hairline. -You look like you drink wine with 6 ice cubes in it. -Did you give birth through your nostrils? -"Age of Empires XLII The Bronze Age. -Preorder now and get the special ability to scream at your kids all day, then blame your depression on your husband." -I’m going to have to say the shot would be on your face! -Girl got the face of 50 but the fit of 16 -"You definitely think your kids are unnaturally smart but also, have absolutely no fear, when they go down a slide." -Your nose and eyes are in different postcodes -"Look, it's every mean girl who peaked in high school" -She didn't need to mention the kids. The background screams breeding and cheap wine. -You look like cucumber melon was a person -So desperate for attention you need people telling how shitty you are. -Looks like someone already hit you with their best shot having a face like that. -“I obsess over the smallest thing” - so no worries about that shnoz? -You look like your husband is in the military -And the countdown for you being dumped for the babysitter just started -It looks like the 8th anniversary of you turning 39. -No shade. The fact that you didn’t become morbidly obese is a massive win. -Imagine being 40 and having a kid in a highchair LMFAO -"""Eat, Pray, Tan""" -"“I obsess over the smallest things”, at least your nose shouldn’t bother you then!" -"If you don't get that floor clean by the time your husband gets home from work, he's gonna give you his best shot." -Are you funding the makeup industry? -If your bangs and eyebrows had a stupid baby it would be your nose ring. -"You are beautiful, you matter in this world and your are enough, I just ask god to make you a blessing🙏😊" -Stop taking pictures of the houses you clean like you live there -"Scary, Sporty, Baby, Ginger, Posh, and…Pumpkin Spice" -We all know what the euphemism with your new career in “digital marketing/content creating” means. It consists of you taking shots to the face by strangers hung like Kentucky Derby winners while hubby sits in the corner trying to hold the camera steady with one hand. Buy your kids noise cancelling headphones or otherwise all that OF money will be spent on therapy. -Milf minus the ilf -You probably shower naked. You whore. -"Husband, check. Baby, check. Choking hazard, laying in the middle of the floor, check. And this year‘s mother of the year award goes to…" -Hide the coke -Cut my live into pieces -Your writing is ƨbɿɒwʞɔɒd -She looks like she only did anal in college so she could be a virgin bride. -You look like you chain smoke Virginia slims and beat your children with a paddle. -. -You have the same skin color as Donald Trump -"Someone's trying too hard to look 18 again. Nose ring, off shoulder jacket, overly made up, fake lashes. Be a little more natural, it's far lovelier than a lb. of makeup and hair products." -"Someone's trying too hard to look 18 again. Nose ring, off shoulder jacket, overly made up, fake lashes. Be a little more natural, it's far lovelier than a lb. of makeup and hair products." -You have two kids? Sounds like you've been through enough. -Like the two kids are her hole personality. I bet you’re known in town as… easy lol -I sold my butthole for one of them Zale’s pendants too -She knows where the kids are at all times with her expert sense of smell -You look like that one old photo of Miley Cyrus where her eyes are piercing through the camera -How’re you handling pumpkin spice is no longer in season? -Brayleighlynnmcstuffins -Lucky husband and children. I hope they know how lucky you make them -I would shag -"Honestly my only concern is why there are two candles on the GROUND, with her having TWO KIDS obviously very young based on the small toys / whatever there called, in the background" -"It's like bourbon chicken that's already been chewed then spit out, but is still trying to be like all the other new fresh bourbon chicken." -Your face looks unnatural without cum on it -"When your kids act up, you take their privileges away (taking their phone/room door)" -Yeh OK. Let’s wash all that off and see what it do. -"Is this why the youth are so wild nowadays? Because their mom's are posting crap like this instead of raising them properly? The thought of my mom posting something like this is so cringe, please stop." -If spray tan had a “basic bitch” option -It looks like you make green bean casserole for a living -"Hey if you can accept your hubby cheating on u and that herpe on your lip for the house and mom life then kudos to you and we'll just call that thing on your lip a fever blister, right?? My bad." -"you def. named your kids BRAYLYNNE or KYLEIGHH or something awful and own a whole cupboard of STANLEYs for your constant day drinking, but you a milf for sure" -remove the makeup -Face of a 50 year old all day drinker with the body of an 18 year old boy. -Nice very beautiful -Rather give you the third kid. -Now that's a cry for attention. -I don't know why you go through the hassle of expanding your hamster cage...your husband doesn't care how it gets in his ass as long as it gets in there. -"You probably say shit like ""my sons 128 weeks old!""" -Lol -Make me a sandwich -100% certain her Stanley mugs have a consistent flow of vodka. In between her pumpkin spiced lattes of course. -She’s smiling cause she just sold her kids for ten grand each. -"Your husband is banging a coworker. You bust his balls way too much and are in a dead bedroom. - -Congrats" -How little attention is husband giving you these days? That’s if you have any left. -How is this even a thing? Weirdo -"""digital marketing/content creation"" = MILF porn." -"I can't roast you, I wouldn't want you to turn a darker shade of orange." -I know we’re supposed to roast you here but I’m ngl you’re fucking sexy as hell 🥵 -That’s….a LOT of Botox. -Is that a sub collar?… -You look like steve martin -Damn people actually want to be roasted ?? I’d cry lol -You look like mother….. -You're probably the type of person who tells people your kids are 72 months old instead of just saying they're 6 years old -This looks like somebody that would refer to her kids as “mommy’s little tax write offs.” -You’re the mom that gets plastered and walks through Cracker Barrel. -"I cannot roast, whatever shot I take will get caught in the gravitational pull of her nostrils" -Where is your upper lip??? -Milf is all I can say -No -I can smell the Starbucks and babypowder -Ur definitely the president of your neighborhoods HOA -Cave woman face -"I could ski down that nose bro, I’d go fast" -"I can guarantee you have a folder on your Facebook titled ""Fall Y'all""" -You look like you try and pass store bought cookies for homemade. -"40 years old with two toddlers, I guess old dogs can learn new tricks 😂😂 ✌🏼" -I can hear her lisp… -What's bigger than a breadboard and tougher than shoe leather...your downstairs -"Your really hot and I would love to ""hit"" that!!!!" -The nose ring attracts attention to the fact you don't have a top lip. -"Well first of all I don’t believe you’re 39 maybe 25 and you’re figure doesn’t say Mom bod at all and makeup and hair are impeccable not a hair outta place and make-up…way too natural. So, my impression is you’re an aspiring model looking for click bait. That’s ok… you’re simply fabulous." -You are fucking orange it ends there. -You look like you could be Donald trumps trophy wife with that tan. -My condolences -"Everyone stop what you're doing! - -We've got a women, - -...that's emotional, - -...and obsesses over the small things. - -That's right. - -For the first time ever in recorded history." -Why don't you mention the grandkids? Did they lose the gold shine? A little too much white or black in the pool? -"♪♫ It's like raiaiain...on your wedding day, it's like Hepatitis C...from your nose piercing ways ♪ ♫" -Is your poon still pink or has that been touched by Midas too? -"Nothing, you winning, but you age is gonna get ya" -Grow up and lose the nose ring that ship sailed 20 years ago for you and for god sakes do something with those fuckin nasty nails -You probably only have sex while listening to blink-182 songs because it makes you feel hip. -She looks like a proud owner of a stanley cup -I mean come on. How weird is it you wrote roast me backwards on the paper. Golly me -AI hand model. -"The live version Snooty Fox. Gaaahhllyy look at that lil chili pepper of a nose u got. Look like you put mayo on your hotdogs. Let me guess, the high point of your day is popping a Valium and chugging a boxed wine down after tucking the kiddos in huh? You probably have fantasy’s about the Sparklette’s delivery driver that delivers 5 gal bottles of distilled water to you every other Tuesday?" -Ask your husband after you get him his beer -Bet your husband has better eye lashes than you -"I don’t know why people ask to be roasted. Maybe you have great sense of humor. Anyways, you are beautiful. Your home looks like it is a loving one. Hope these comments didn’t hurt too bad. I wouldn’t ask to be roasted again." -I’m 20 just relaxing I have ADHD and OCD so I’m like to do stuff in even numbers and I get distracted easily and I didn’t know that until now. -Only 39? Yikes. -Kids stfu I’m on Reddit ! -How many guys in their 20s have you banged? -I refuse to roast a woman who has the vacuum cleaner out -The size of those nostrils she pics her nose with her fist -You're yellow eyes away from being the star of The Last Dance. -You sure it wasn’t 49? -One in the pink two in the stink -I want to roast you but forgot what I was even doing here -You look like Donald Trump on a good day -The high gloss allows the tears to run off faster and easier -Hmm I detect someone who might know what a trogladite is -A gold nose ring… as if that proboscis weren’t heavy enough already. -"Lost a bet to her husband, had to post this on r/roast me and get her nose pierced" -Time to buy some tits. -For someone who’s married you sure would think you’d have a rock on that hand of yours 🤔 -Couldn’t even spell “ROAST ME!” Correctly! 😮😲🫣😂 -You look like if Poppy from The Trolls had a child with bigfoot -I would hit you with my best shot so hard i would make you pregnant 3rd time then i would look after the kids while you explore and dedicate your career also turned 39 this year your a Milf your WELCOME -Accidentally shot a load into a Cheetos bag and this is how it came out 39 years later. -If “I bang black guys” was a person. -I love how your spouse and kids are out of frame. Great foreshadowing. -Orange you glad you came here? -You look like the love of my life -She definitely trapped her husband -Real Housewives of Whothefuckcares -Flash bang out -comment -25 years old but also somehow served in the Vietnam War. -"Something tells me at the rate you are aging, you won't be making this post again in 5 more years." -"Bro, where is life so hard that you look like you're from that 70's show at 25?" -You misspelled 52. -How much was the fine for doing 60 in a 25? -"Just admit defeat and go completely bald, grow a beard, and then maybe you’ll actually look you were born this century. - -Also, stop dressing like fucking Steve Irwin." -Wallace and Gromit lookin ass -Nice try grandpa -I'm certain that you wear the skin of your human victims -Sweet mother of God! Share your anti aging secrets so I never do any of them. -The love child of Red Foreman from That 70’s show and Karl Childers from Sling Blade. -That wallpaper has aged better than you -"Indiana Joke. - -If adventure has a name, it sure the hell ain't you." -Ron Howard but malding - I’m sure qualifying for radio repair at vocational school really moistened some panties. -Red before that 70s show and losing his virginity -You look like you’re about to put on a pith helmet and go and colonize Africa. -Oldest 25 year old 👆 -I didn’t know that Frazier had a brother -This looks like a picture of Eustace from 'Courage the Cowardly Dog' in his youth. -Nothing we could say would ever be as cruel to you as genetics have been. -"The only cooters this “young” fella has seen sleep on a log at the local pond. - -If “grandpa touched my butthole” had a face. - -Nice wallpaper, trailer dweller. - -Who stacks their books like that? Have some damned dignity. - -Looks like your hair wiped off on them forearms. - -You have the body type of “humongous nipples.” - -How is it to have an arch nemesis that’s a rabbit? - -I’m done, unlike your premature aging." -He looks like a Vietnam veteran just got home from his blue collar job. Circa 1973. -You still ride the short bus don't you? -25 is the number of hair on your head but your age is 52. -mr garrison is that you -They only gave you 5 years for touching little boys? That’s fucked up. -Red foreskin -25 in standard years? Spent-time-in-prison-now-your-on-registry-years? -Ok Boomer -Why does your mum dress you like a UPS driver?! -When was this originally posted? The 1950s? -Poor Red Foreman. -"Red Foremans younger siblings, Red Foreskin" -You're not 25 returning after 5 you're like 63 returning from 1963.... Yo ... I mean how do you even do that without Photoshop?? -Why is your face so much different then it was then? It's like your face needs to hit the gym. Like you're mid shape shift or something -"""Some folks call it a Sling Blade, I call it a Kaiser Blade...""" -Sling blade: the prequel -It’s the bastard love child of Karl Childers and Opie Taylor! -You look like the slow witted custodian the state pays half your minimum wage salary to incentivize hiring the feeble -You mean you have 25 hairs left. -Dude.. it's Jim Lahey and Burger walrus' baby. -Red Foreman in the 50’s -Many thanks to the Forensic Anthropology Center at the University of Tennessee for this picture. Most people can’t stomach looking at a corpse that has been decomposing for this long. -Red Forhead -Look like silly putty! -Looks like you just returned from WWI too -Jim Lahey at 25 -"Wow, five years later and you still look like you crawled out of a 1950s time capsule that nobody wanted to open. That shirt is so beige, it’s practically camouflaged against your personality. I see you went with the 'future substitute teacher who gets no respect' look—bold choice. The wallpaper in your house looks like it’s aged better than you have, which isn’t saying much. You have the expression of someone who just realized they peaked in high school and it’s all been downhill since. Holding that sign like it’s your greatest achievement is just sad, but given the rest of your life, it probably is. Here’s to another five years of mediocrity—maybe by then you’ll have moved out of your parents’ house." -Dollar store Jim lahey -Mr Lahey!!! -Wayne Rooney from Wish: -No. Fucking. Way. Bro I just feel bad for you by seeing you.  -You got the 2 and 5 in the wrong order for your age. -You spelled 48m wrong. -Unhappy Days -You meant 52 I think -Aging speedrun -Looks like the liquor Is calling the shots now Randy -"#HOLY YEEPERS, ROBIN!!! - -Man has GOT 2-b puttin bodies in his walls…basement… UNDER the FLOORS..??!!!" -Red Foreman; the prequel -25 going on 50 -He likes mustard on his biscuits and French fried potaters. Mmmhmm! -You look like Red Forman -25 in dog years? -25 going on 52 -"Don't roast this guy too hard, or he'll put a foot up your ass" -Hey is that Red from That 70s show -"Red Forman, I expect you to immediately start calling people dumbass." -"How’s Kitty and Eric? And please Red, don’t put a boot in my ass" -How far is the foot up Eric’s ass? -Red Foreman🤣🤣🤣 -"""Ain't got no gas in it""" -Ordering Red Foreman from Wish. -You are the oldest 25yo I have ever seen. -"Autism or not, you are part of the special forces." -Red prequel show: A Boot In His Ass -you look like one of those metal detector hobbyists -You definitely try to pick up chicks at family reunions. -Wearing that Norman Bates cosplay -Looks like you gave shampoo up for face wash -You look like red formans affair baby -25? For each leg? -Bro is dyslexic. He meant 52. -You’re insulting Red Foreman -You look like the young version of the old man from Monster house. And your house. -"Red Foreman, pansy ass version" -Weren’t you then guy who just gave his GF a kitten bro? -"Obviously been ‘Farming’ since the age of 2.5! Which is obviously hard graft. -All I will say is please update us with a photo when your 35 as that I want to see." -25????? Alright Benjamin Button?! -If hopeless was a person -"Hobbies include collecting die-cast WWII era bombers, Sunday morning church service and sexual harassment." -They don’t even ask to see your ID before giving you the seniors discount. -25 my absolute arse x -No meed to roast you. Seems like your hair is already doing a pretty good job at it. -Bald -You look like Red Forman's younger brother Pink. -"Holy shit, you look like every boy scout leader that's given out the ""Loving"" badge. Are you the reason they just renamed... or are you not allowed to discuss ongoing lawsuits? Please do yourself a favor, and let your wife do the kids off at school... dropping them off 500' is just cruel in the winter." -"Ah, here we have a gentleman who appears to be auditioning for the role of ""generic background character #3"" in a low-budget period drama. Clad in a safari ensemble that wouldn't look out of place in a discount Halloween bin, one must commend your dedication to blending into both your wallpaper and any social situation with equal invisibility. Truly, sir, a master of the mundane!" -Larry David has more hair than you. -Good night Jon boy -Bro looks like Jefferey Bezos' and Steven Hawquins' autistic offspring with a receding hairline currently social distancing from his eyebrows -One thing that won’t be returning is your hair and dignity. -it appears that not all of you returned -"25 year old with the dress sense and hair style of an 85 year old. Although to be fair, I've seen 85 year olds with better dresses sense and more hair! - -PS, When you posted 5 years ago, did you have more hair?" -Jim Lahey before the Booze. -Jesus Christ the DNA lottery fucked you over really bad -Holy cow that's the whole airstrip! -Ron Howard trolling the sub -Benjamin Butthole -Where is Gromit though? You’re normally together -"Are you dyslexic? - -You wrote 25. - -You mean 52." -You’ve got the sex appeal of a 92 year old nutsack. -You grow facial hair about as well as hair on your head. -I support you in your transition! 🏳️‍🌈 -"Remind me again, when is wabbit season?" -I'll give you a hundred bucks to fuck off Lahey. -The title of your biography would be “50 Shades of Beige”. -I know you hate the way you look. And I’m truly sorry. -I'm the same age as you and you look old enough to be my dad -Bro look like he works at zoos since he was 25 -You're as brave as your forehead is long. -It’s Red from that 70’s show -"why did you come back? , you're still a forgettable character" -"Troll - dressing like that, with that background, and shaving your head. Making 25 look like 50, well done." -"He ist going full Jim Lahey style, trailerPark supervisor." -"Some folks call it a sling blade, you call it a kaiser blade." -It’s “On the Spectrum Steve Irwin” after getting a haircut from a boat prop. -25 going 50 -"Shave it off, much better" -"life is like your hair, desperate to get away from you which is why you look 60, but those clothes choices are on you." -How many paper rounds did you have? -"I'd go for your hair, but that's low hanging fruit, although with that haircut, I get why you'd dress like your 78.." -"You look like Dennis Reynold on the episode where Dee made him pickup women without his makeup, face tape, hair filler, and everything" -You look like an NPC they put in a boring office with a computer from '95 -Kurtwood Smith dad from that 70’s show mixed with Shane Gillis doing his down’s smile. -Looks like you’re about to lead a safari into the deep web -Your hairline goes back to the Jurassic period -How's randy keeping? -Mr Lahey!!!! Omg Rwandy!!!! Hes back -This guy looks like all 4 king of the hill characters. 5 if you count the kid. -"If you had some aviators, you'd be the liquor." -"Unlike your hair, you’re the only one returning" -You look like you enjoy doing crossword puzzles at 7am with your morning coffee and prunes -Your Daddy beat you so much that you’re still afraid to wear belts. -"""breakfast will be served between 0700 to 0703, no exceptions""." -"You look like the old guy from “that 70s show.” - -Edit: everyone already beat me to it." -What in the 'happy days'! -"Looks like one of those scrawny cops from any 90's tv serie like ""Murder she wrote""" -"Some advice.. Find a woman who works in Ufology👽. Due to that huge crop circle you got going on, on the top of your head. You may be able to get her interest just long enough to lay her down in a bed & proceed to heavily disappoint her." -Cross burnings are illegal sir! -"You're 25, but look like the father from Leave It To Beaver in To Catch a Predator" -I thought this was a ww2 photo of someone’s grandpa -You had a hard paper round didn’t you! -25 x 2 -"If I had a condom for everytime you fucked a minor, I’d be able to put magnum and lifestyles out of business" -"""I am a college student, and the quarantine has not lightened my workload. I spent all of today either working or thinking about work, and now I feel a little bit sick. An encouraging word would help.""" -Is it hard to plot your errands for the day around avoiding school zones? -Chernobyl has seen better days -"You look like Dale from King of the Hill, minus the cigarette, the cool shades and iconic hat." -You look like a forest service agent that’s about to retire in 15 years. -You returned 25 years later. Not 5 years. -You did a great job in the priest of peril quest line in OSRS -AI Elmer Fudd lookin boy -The wallpaper choice matches the age of your head. -"Surely you dressed up to look like a grandpa, the sad thing is that it wasn't even needed." -You've DEFINITELY been naked in bed with a boa constrictor -This guy is totally into it. He also looks like he wants to be kicked in the micropenis. This guy looks like he wears latex and gets used as a table or chair a lot. -You probably have a PhD -"So, this is why you don’t have hair?" -Shame your hair decided not to return with you. -Red Fordman using filters -Boo Radley looking ass -25 years since he stuffed mom and dad in the basement freezer. Cheap mofuh won’t even paint the walls. Definitely hasn’t offered Halloween candy ever -You’re supposed to put your age…not how many kids you’ve diddled -25? are you sure? -you look like you chewed through my wires and are waiting for me to find out -"OK, boomer, correct that typo. You meant 65M, right? Is like Herbert from family guy origins episode in real life" -"Ohio Farmer, last picture taken before heading off to war (colorized) 1942" -25 going on 40 -Did you post this in 1996? -Why're you dressed like an extra from the Shawshank redemption -25? What a creative way to tell us you're birthday is on a leap year. -Dude lol what happened? -RemindMe! 10 years -Can only imagine what you are keeping in the basement -I have a better hairline than you and I'm bald -How TF can you look 51 and 15 at the same time?! -"""I'm rather drab, except my patent shoes - -I make 'em shine, well, most the time"" - -- Col. Les Claypool" -Fuck me.you look older than my dad.amd he's 66 -"Life has done you enough damage, I honestly don't think that I could improve upon nature." -What’s up Uncle Fester -I’m 49 and you look like my dad. -"Here's the link to the 5 yr old post for anyone who is interested: - -https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/EpIaqY9YYl" -I always wondered what happened to Richie Cunningham’s brother Chuck! -You look like Ron Coward from Crappy Days -Benjamin Button stunt double?? -You look like you're in the office too often -Get off the internet grandpa -We can't hurt you more than your prison husband did -How does one become a janitor? -I can physically hear the neighbourhood kids tense up everytime they're close to your yard. -Where’s Gromit? -Look at this sweet young commie -Grampa is that you? -Biscuits and mustard mhmmmmm -"Gum has gotten mintier latley, have you noticed?" -"You look like you are collecting your dead mothers social insurance cheques. -Edit. Sp." -I'm guessing you're banned from living near any schools? -You look like you would sweep the lawn clippings from your driveway while the gardener plows your wife inside. And still tip him. -"Omfg, that is a HARD 25! 😂 - -Im a 42yo and have been doing drugs my whole adult life….and i STILL look younger than OP!😂" -Mf was 25 when the first moon landing happened. -If you're going to put books on display have the bindings facing out nitwit. And don't get me started on that wallpaper. -Nah. This one’s too easy. -25 more like 45 -55m* -I genuinely thought this was a screenshot from Slingblade. -Charlie Brown grew up and sells used vehicles -Red Foreman’s illegitimate son by a bowling alley cocktail waitress -Shops at the Soviet Salvation Army -Going on 40 -You look like Ron Howard's unfit alcoholic stand-in. -Time for a drinky pooh and stumble/mumble across the entire trailer park. -"People normally write their age in the title, not the number of hairs on their head." -Even this background looks sexier than you -"Fuck off, Lahey!" -Someone get Sling blade here some French fried pa-taters! -Your bland ass wallpaper is more lively than you. -"I'm not going to roast you but please take down your grandma's wallpaper off those walls, yikes" -"Wow, you’re 11 years younger than me yet you look like you could be my dad." -Go find Randy and get back to the trailer park -Wabbit hunting? -They massacred my boy! -You look like a certified... -"And catch a foot in my ass? No sir, Mr Foreman." -Red from That 70s show -You look like one of those priests who spread the gospel to poor folks in Africa.  -"You look like ""dumb ass"" is your favorite phrase." -Bro has more runway than some airports -25? On Mars? -"That 70's Porn actor, Red Foreskin" -You came back after 5 years and your hair didn’t even fuckin come with you that’s how uncomfortable this entire image is I wouldn’t want to be seen with you either you look like you belong on a list somewhere waaaay the fuck away from a park or school -How in the fuck do you look like your own dad? -Sorry to hear WWDITS in ending. You were great as Colin Robinson’s stunt double. -Gen z aging speedrun is real -"The post says 25, the picture says “born in 1952”. Bro’s face is so ugly even his hairline is running from it" -"Hey moron! Try to decide to write in cursive before you start! Look at that, “R” not even in cursive!!! So fickle! Make a decision and stick to it bro!" -"Hey moron! Try to decide to write in cursive before you start! Look at that, “R” not even in cursive!!! So fickle! Make a decision and stick to it bro!" -"Hey moron! Try to decide to write in cursive before you start! Look at that, “R” not even in cursive!!! So fickle! Make a decision and stick to it bro!" -"Hey moron! Try to decide to write in cursive before you start! Look at that, “R” not even in cursive!!! So fickle! Make a decision and stick to it bro!" -Where are Muriel and Courage? -Where are Muriel and Courage? -"Well atleast your unique enough you'd get captured by aliens and put into a human farm display, but also you look like that's something you would be saying to kids at the local playground" -Your aging already holy shit -"A tucked in shirt, god bless you and your mother you heavenly saint." -You are the liquor -You better hope you die before 50 - holy shit son.... -You must be a British sheep farmer -"Ok, boomer." -"Ok, boomer." -"You look like you are 40, still living at home and still a virgin of course" -"Loved your work on ""That 70s Show""." -"Ok, grandpa likes Reddit now?" -How’s Eric and Kitty ? -Your hair sure isn't returning -You look like red foreman from that 70s show -You look like you’re from Borat’s village -"The ""We have Red Foreman at home"" package" -You look like Benjamin Button getting ready to lead a scout troop. -Extra in a melodramatic Apple TV+ movie set in 1930's London. -The liquors callin the shots now Randy! -Red Foreman: the early years -The dementia must be hitting hard if you still think you're 25. -"Red Forman cosplay, 70’s lookin wallpaper, lookin ass." -Shave your head and it’ll shave at least 10 years off how old ya look. -You look like a young Jim Lahey before the Police Force and the Liquor. -You look like a Red Foreman cosplay -That fuckin Dood from happy days. -Looks like you are about to audition for “50 Shades of Beige” -You look like Red Formans brother Pink Forskin -Mf lookin like Fritz Robinson -"1. 25 my foot, you look like Red from the 70's show. -2. You also dress like him." -Holy shit it's Jim Lahey -Jim Lahey trailer park supervisor lookin ass -"Omg Red, ‘That 70’s Show’ was on 25+ yrs ago! No one is falling for this!" -"You look like Slingblade but your about to go inform all the neighbors that you’ve moved it because, well, the law says you have to" -"Can you tell us, what is was like growing up in the 1940s?" -"Shave it Op, let the facial grow my man. You look like a soldier from the 50’s back from tour" -Dude even dresses old -Discount Ron Howard looking ass -"You look like you would beat your wife, if you could ever get one…" -25 is the new 55 -comment -Your loved ones have multiple group chats about whether or not to invite you to family events -Mother of many custody of none -Still having a rebellious phase nearly 15 years strong. -"Still calls herself ""one of the guys"", even as a grown-ass woman " -"Let’s play “Put these events in order in your life” - -- First restraining order -- First positive pregnancy test -- First shoplifting arrest -- First time trading sex for drugs" -Everyone you know is sooooo fucking tired of your shit. -CPS knows you on a first name basis -She fucks every dude that’s “like a brother” to her -Your entire wardrobe is probably Fox Racing and Monster Energy brand. -"She's definitely a fan of older men with Harleys who listen to Kid Rock. MVP of the local bar, located in a run down Ramada" -Reese Heroinspoon -"You are trying to be edgy, but your 30th birthday hit you harder than your drunk boyfriend." -"When Starlight goes full crack head. - -Edit: Yoooo wtf! This blew up while I was asleep!! Why though? 😭😭😭 Thanks Crackhead Starlight!!!" -"At some point in your life, many years ago, you were likely the coolest and prettiest woman in your small town group of friends." -Everything that comes out of your mouth is about your recovery and you needed to grow through that part of your life to grow -It’s all good my mom has custody of my kids -"Will go on a date to eat for free, and smoke all your cigarettes in the process" -"Has a suspended license, a restraining order and a failure to appear since May." -30? With or without the summers? -"New from Mattel it's - - - ""Moshpit Barbie"" - -Take her to get a new tattoo, buy drugs, and drunk drive in her POS car!... - -**alcohol, batteries, or bad decisions not included... *" -"Help, the trailer is missing it's trash" -Truck stop gift shop is a style now? -U are the personification of an DUI -That 4th picture really hits. A true white trash masterpiece -"What are you so happy about, Methanie?" -You look like your living off the remaining cash from an insurance scam -Got that Wicked Witch of the West chin on the body of an emaciated scarecrow. -How many guys have you blown in an IHOP bathroom for a pack of cigarettes or a quarter? 🤔 -Trailer Grift -Whats it feel like knowing the person you loved the most is happily married now? -"If being white trash were a video game, you’re definitely unlocking an achievement with that 4th picture." -"When people call her out on her bullshit: ""If you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!'" -"Kids, don't do drugs. Or else, you'll look like this when you turn 30." -"Yeah, you were the girl that always fought other girls in the high school smoking area." -30 rough years. Ooooof -You look like you sell sex toys door-to-door to frustrated women in the Midwest. -"I know for sure that you use pills, don't know which ones" -Chinderella. You could probably do with a wash -I feel like I booked you into jail a few weeks back for meth possession -She likes her bacon crispy. Now her kids at her mom's place can practice making crispy bacon to get her to spend one weekend with them. -You look like the fourth Hansen brother -All the Kings Horses and All the Kings Men couldn't put that wall she hit back together again. -You look like a meth head celebrating their first sober birthday. Well done to you and keep up the good work! -"Drug and multiple rehab vibe is strong here. Also a vibe of Kentucky-Appalachia pillpopping. At least she wears safety glasses, so there's that. Definitely not a cyclist." -"30 years old, still running the teenage rebellion phase. - -At least your child custody matches your 401k: 0" -Send the OF. -You like your face crispy too. Throw on some fucking sunscreen before you look like Robert Redford -What did you do after you were voted off of Rock of Love? -"So this is what Americans mean when they call someone ""trailer park trash""" -Good you told us 30F. Otherwise you I probably told you how good you looked for 50. -I bet your parents are proud of all 2 of your OF subscribers. -You are the other woman. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. -Now on the main stage.... -Going back to Sturgis for your only incum. -Is that your IQ and best grade from high school? -Why do I feel like you have 4 children who are all with CPS -If „Only god can judge me“- tramp stamp was a person -We’re out of bacon but those pepperoni nips will do -This is awesome. The first picture that you can smell. I just wish they hadn’t chose “Marlboro”. -Anal is your first base. -Your tattoo artist already roasted you plenty. What bet did you lose? -That’s a 4 cock mouth right there. -"Loves Jesus so much, she's going to smoke meth and pop oxy and vote for Trump on election day." -Just your average milf redneck Crack user -Her baby’s father is in jail for storming the capital -You need to stop shaving to cover that chin -Your eyebrows don't match your coloring. -William dafoe after transition. -She’s the one flipping off the group of guys after she just finished a 3 hour circle jerk with those guys. The same guys she always says are all like her best friends. She manages to get some of them together at least once a week for said circle jerk. Makes her feel closer to them and gives her a sense of being and a little more self confidence. -"1st pic, you look like a cheer mom. The rest of the pics you look like “Pattie the Day Time Hooker” or maybe Wendy from BB." -How did you get your tits to be so droopy at such a young age? Did the tattoos come from the trailer park tattoo shop or prison? -Just drop your OF already -You look like crackhead Starlight -This one is obviously the “man” in her relationships. She met her girlfriend at an NA meeting 😐. -"Who dis, the new Hawk Poo-ah girl?" -"Knock it off with the spam. This is the 2nd post you have posted. - -https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/Dfmq66VtNy" -And you like your men Methey -And you like your crack burned  -Apparently you like your hair and your skin crispy also -Chin -If the cigarette butt on the steps of the family courthouse became sentient -"6 cats, 2 restraining orders, 3 kids -each from different fathers, and several failed attempts in drug rehab." -The kind of homeless junkie you want to get in your car cause she will do anything you want for 5$ -"Still smoking real cigarettes and hanging in strip mall bars is rough. - -Lives in a small town in Ohio, Baby daddy is a nice guy that works at the local truck lift shop but there are at least 2 guys in basic training right now sweating it out bc she told them she was late." -Tell me you went to community college without telling me you went to community college -I can smell the STDs through the pics -Before reading the card I thought you looked good for 45 -Imagine being 30 and still taking pictures with your middle finger up -The more freckly version of Jessica Simpson -Its hard to roast you because I think you look like a nice person but I am gay and have low standards so take that however you want. Do you need me to use less syllables or did you get all that? -Keep up the sunbed treatments and you’ll have your wish in no time. -Ill fix your title. “ I like my bacon crispy and bbc hard and from behind” -All 5 of your kids have different dads don’t they? I’m willing to bet you also don’t know the identity of at least two of their dads -Proof that tattoos can't substitute for a personality -It looks like you've got a staph infection starting there on your wrist. Right beside that self portrait tattoo. -"Bacon crispy? Yes, you do look like you like your pork blackened" -Man hands. -"Not good enough to be a soccer mum, not cool enough to be the cool aunt." -The crack and meth has made you look at least 40. -"And your meth regular. - -I'd date you. I have very low standards" -What’s jaw problem? -You look like you liked to party when you were young...now everythings just sagging -"You might like your bacon crispy, but you’re running out of eggs." -Somehow I just know you smell like a urinal. -"***So young, so saggy.***" -Your name is Ryan right -"You look like if I touched you, you'd be sticky." -Avril Lavigne from Temu. Avril Methvine. -"I wasn’t gonna say anything at first, but then after reviewing your pictures, I realize something. Your tits……. For such small tits they are about 5 - 6 inches too low, pretty much drooping down to your belly button. - -Can only imagine when you are in your 60’s. Those fuckers are going to need to be taped around your neck." -Can we stop with this charade and get to a point where they just start posting the OF link without first asking to be roasted? -"What’s 30 years of living in a bowling alley, drinking only Monster energy drinks, and smoking Newports looks like" -Should probably start wearing gloves while playing in the dirt and rocks. OP has the hands of a 50 year old crack addicted bricklayer -That chin structure says 30 M -Hard to tell yall dudes from the women these days. -You should really start wearing a bra 💀 lots of sag -You look like you think you are interesting cool and edgy to the point of complete self absorption . -You look like you make amateur beastiality porn -One short haircut away from being a fuckboy -"A cross pendant while flipping a bird. Yeah, you should really reevaluate your decisions. You’re gonna end up being crispy like your choice in bacon if you don’t repent." -It's Ke$has sister Metha -Taylor Grift. I tested positive for an STD just by looking at her photos. -Proud owner of a can opener chin -"These all look like ""before"" meth photos." -"You’re a grown woman posting “cute” pictures for a “Roast Me,” that’s enough of a roast, even before seeing how cringe they are. You’re actually pretty, but you really should figure out why you need this kind of attention." -I am so disappointed no one has called her a budget Ke$ha yet. -"Your parents defiantly say “she was such a beautiful, smart young lady… she had so much potential” and then your mom looks away as she tries not to cry, your dad coughs and goes out to the garage." -comment -I bet you sit on the toilet backwards so you can use the tank as a lunch table -"Oh boy, you sure you wanna do this?" -Your belly flap has seen your penis more than you have -Bro really got chocolate on his lip in the second photo. Jesus christ dude -"I’d sugar coat my comment, but you’d probably eat that too." -"""I tried to think of the most harmless thing. -Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!""" -"Atleast you are Smart enough to not to add ""Virgin"" to the title,since we already know it." -You look like rick and chumlee from pawnstars made an ass baby. -4th picture will look exactly the same when you're 65. -"20 years old but with your diabetes and probable heart issue, you have reached your mid life crisis." -"""His name is Robert Paulson.""" -Whatever you’re doing ain’t working. -Shouldn’t you be orbiting Jupiter? -Don't sit on something you can't afford. -"Jokes aside, can we get a follow-up on some of these ppl asking for roasts to see if they haven’t deleted themselves shortly after?" -Is your FUPA resting on the counter? -Bold choice for a mobility scooter but yeah you’re probably gonna need that extra horse power -Looks like Bobby Hill grew up to have bigger titties than Luanne -"When you masturbate, do you need a mirror to find it?" -Just start hanging out at playgrounds *now*. Don't wait til your 35 🤷‍♂️ -"On a positive note, you seem like a real Family Man." -Massive \*and\* Nerd -You look like a bully and the person who gets bullied -Nah he does look like a nice guy tho. Probably fun to hang out with -Hold the door -How many Subs do you moderate ? -I think you’ve exceeded the weight limit on that cycle by about 3 tons -"As someone who has been called Chris Griffin and hated it... man, I gotta pass the torch to you." -If the sex offender registry had a mascot -Emphasis on massive -"Too easy dude, too easy. Life has already dealt you a pretty bad hand, I'm not gonna pile on." -Need a comma after massive. -You look like a 30 yo fat lesbian.....or Patton Oswalt. -Brendan Fraser thanks you for inspiring him! -You look like what a Magic the Gathering tournament smells like. -You look like Jeffery Dahmer if he only deep fried his victims -"I mean fat roasts are overrated and overused. - -Liking Star Wars doesn’t make you a nerd anymore. It’s mainstream. It technically makes you a Disney adult now. 😂" -Nothing can roast you as hard as heart disease and diabetes. -You ain’t no damn 20 year old -"You look like the kinda guy to drop everything and do anything for your friends. - -You fuck." -Bro I think you've already had enough roast today 💀 -"No need for the hate brother, it looks like you're having a good time with life, ride on homie." -Bro you have a nice smile and I bet you are polite. What am I supposed to roast? -"Disgustingly fat. Mate this isn’t a roast, please turn your life around before it’s too late…" -You were great in Bad Santa! -"Hey man, you seem okay. Life is long and there's lots for a decent person to do and explore. Don't let these jerks get you down." -bro looks adorable -I think you look like you have a very kind heart and should learn to love yourself if it’s something you struggle with. Have a great day!! -Id be friends with you -"Hey Bro, don’t let people shame you. You’re worth more than that. These cynical fucks will jump at the chance to roast someone without any thought as to how it will affect the receiver. People will say some hateful shit to get Internet points. You don’t need ask people roast you. There’s enough negativity in the world. How about trying a different tact. Show people some vulnerability and share some of your struggle. You will get the exact opposite response. People will show you their better nature and lift you up. Other people dealing with issues will find they’re not alone. Let’s raise the level of positive energy. We can be better. And to everyone dropping shitty “jokes” here, yes, I know he asked to be roasted. But it still doesn’t make it good. We need to look out for each other. So check yourself and be a fucking decent person. Not one who finds easy targets and rips them to shreds because you’re not standing directly in front of them. You’re better than that, too. Much love big man. Stay positive." -With the gender affirming hormones I figured her beard would be fuller. -You actually look very kind and i love your hair -First human marble. -You look like a middle aged lunch lady. -I honestly think u look like a nice guy. Keep on nerdin my man. Do you! -It’s a good thing you put male in the title because I honestly couldn’t tell. -Massive is an understatement. -How are you NOT a reddit mod?!?!? -For fuck sakes man go to the gym! -How do you look 40 and 12 at the same time? -Your belt buckle drags on the floor when you go to put it through the first loop -Impossible to roast bc you ate it. -Roasting you could feed a village. -Fuck bud I just KNOW you're walking around with a bad wipe. -How many months are you? -If you had smaller titties you'd look like a man. -Bobby from King of the Hill grown up. -"You should really consider making different life choices. Being in the high 200's low 300's is absolutely not normal for someone your age. I know that you probably think you have a cute smile and good hair, and are just ""waiting for the right one to come along"" but that's gonna be a long wait while your body deteriorates under your weight. If you maintain that lifestyle, you're going to find your joints start breaking down quicker. You're not gonna be able to enjoy time outside with friends and family because you will get winded quicker and have less stamina. It's really only a matter of time before your heart starts to have problems. - -I used to look a lot like you and then lost over 100 lbs with some dietary and lifestyle changes and my enjoyment of life has increased exponentially. It's not an easy thing to do, but it's the right thing to do if you want to experience more of what life has to offer, and it has a lot more to offer than what you see from behind your computer screen. Your parents love you but will talk about you behind closed doors about the way you're living your life. Stop being the person that it's easy to be and be the person you want to be." -"Humiliation and embarrassment are not the way to go. Success comes one step at a time, literally. Start walking every day for 20-30 minutes. In a few weeks start drinking more water (keep walking). In a few more weeks start adjusting your diet. Eat protein with every meal. Keep walking and drinking water. It isn’t a quick fix but little changes can make a difference." -"At 15 minutes a pound, we can roast you by Christmas." -"“..massive, nerd,..” ftfy" -Pretty sure if you walked for atleast 30 minutes a day youd just be a nerd in 2 years -I literally thought you were a bull dyke lesbian -You want some neck with them chins? -"20 year old male, or 40 year old lesbian? It’s anyone’s guess." -Fucking hell you've got some balls. -shittest bathroom -You look like a “Make a Wish” kid that didn’t die -Even the trans community is scratching their heads at this one. -"Look boys, 300 lbs of Nerd." -discord final boss -"Damn guy. You're so young, and God (or nature or whatever you believe created you) didn't make a mistake. The difficult road ahead of becoming who you would like yourself to be will build an amazing young man with compassion for others, who knows the value of hard work, and who has the tools to do amazing things in a world of entitled, pampered assholes who can't manage a grocery store job for more than two weeks. You'll be in a position to help others like you know their value in this world, too! That's what you're here for, and the world needs the precious few people like you." -"I’m not gonna lie, I know I’m supposed to be roasting you, but you seem like a chill dude." -Brother you seem like a good dude. I know I’m supposed to roast you but I hope you’re doing this as motivation and not to punch down on yourself. I’m over a decade older than you but nerds are beloved these days. Sending positivity your way! -Diabeetus. -"Future NBA allstar. And by NBA, i mean Neck Beard Association" -How the Hell did you manage to look like a Lesbian Dyke and an average Trump simp AT THE SAME TIME? -Shredded cheese and a gallon of milk isn't breakfast food -"I could roast you, but i’m afraid I would only be reinforcing what you say to yourself through crocodile tears every time you eat another half-gallon of Rocky Road in one sitting. - -Be true to yourself." -Hhwhat the hell Bobby?? -You spelled weight wrong -"Got that Bobby Hill build, I tell ya what" -Bro looks old and young at the same time 😂😂 -"hehe...""massive""..." -Don't let anyone tell you self confidence is all you need. -You look like you get paid for texting only fans subscribers instead of the girls. -you take up all the 1080 pixels in 1080p -"Nerd, maybe. Massive, definitely." -Bro had the audacity to post this with all his hamburger meat hanging out. In THIS economy. -You look at least 15 -There is nothing that can be said in any human tongue that will be worse than what nature has wrought in the monolithic massiveness that is you. -"""Massive"" is the right description." -I bet you’re single -You look like Peter Griffin and Chris Griffin had a son -You are alright buddy I’ve seen worse❤️ -Don't you have a subreddit to moderate? -I think a gym membership would be cheaper than the amount of sauce I'd need to roast you. -"20, male, massive, nerd. You did it to yourself." -"Bobby Hill, age 32 ,assistant to the manager. Dollar general location county road F." -I can hear you breathing through my phone -Bobby hill but fater -Bobby Hill waiting in his glow up -Do the truffle shuffle -Rockin it with the batman cum stain. -You look like a transgender Russell from Up -Hey it's Bobby from King of the Hill! -Male? -PayNothingWubby -comment -"I've heard of dog owners looking like their pets, but I never seen someone take the shape of their hobby" -I guess at this point your parents realize they're never getting their basement back -Is Squishmallow a euphemism for big saggy hangers? -"United States Navy, now I see why the boys on the ship start swinging for the other team." -Drop the link so we can watch you breastfeed them. -"What did your left titty say to your right titty ? - - - - -""If we don't get some support around here, people are going to think we're nuts.""" -"Obese lesbian with bangs that collects stuffed animals? I hope you're on the spectrum, otherwise you should probably google *HOW TO DISABLE AIRBAGS*" -Roast me…. What every frozen vegetable at the back of your freezer said when you bought them 6 years ago -This picture smells like cat piss -Depression: The musical -You're gonna make some black dude real happy before he leaves you with 2 kids never to be seen again -My mom always told me you become like the people you spend the most time with… I guess she was right. -"Refuses to give up on her @SquishmallowMammaries OnlyFans, despite it never attracting a subscriber. Even though she constantly runs “military specials” where she offers to pay soldiers if they subscribe." -You smuggling a couple of squishmallows in your hoodie? -Same shape as those stupid dolls. -Spending your money on all that garbage and displaying it is you roasting yourself. -This is what happens when Animal Control confiscates all of a Crazy Cat Lady's cats -"Be honest, you spend every Saturday night like this." -I never heard someone refer to their obesity as a “squishmellow collection.” -You ever just know someone owns a foxtailed buttplug? -"Overweight gay autistic woman who is way too into plushies and cartoons, and is spending her weekend inside? Yep. That checks out." -I can’t see the person to roast just a bunch of fat ugly stuffed animals. -"In nature, poisonous creatures will often develop bright colors to warn others of their toxicity." -"When you say “Squishmellow collection”, are you referring to the stuffed animals or your sweatshirt?" -Nice nipples -"You seem like a nice, kind hearted girl who just enjoys having fun, until you decide to get off your meds again and suddenly you're standing at the bedroom door with a knife, crying, asking how he could cheat on you in your dream." -"Your parents still have to send you money, but you have a plan." -Awwtism -I would need so much Xanax just to tolerate being in your orbit -Bet they all smell like crotch -she probably makes some mean ass bad dragon videos amongst all those squishmallows -Two squishmallows are spending their Saturday night inside her hoodie gasping for air. -You seem like you’ll make a great single mom. -I remember you from the end of the first ghostbusters movie -All I can see is the finish line at a blimp race. -You are looking like a squishmellow yourself -Calls the squishmallows her children. Tells coworkers about funny things they've done. Shows pictures with them on vacations. -Even your squishmallows don't love you. -"DAMN! This looks like a crossover episode of Hoarders buried alive, & MTVs where are they now. I can just hear you rn in this photo; ""So this the room where all the magic doesn't happen....""" -"Your shirt. You were in the navy?? - -Were you the sub??" -Anyone else get a middle school teacher that’s sleeps with her students vibe? -"Everytime someone walks by you at comiconn with your free hug sign you buy one Squishmallow, I believe there's more!" -"For God's sake, do not put this on your tinder. Lead with the hard nipples, at least you'll get some desperation sex." -"At least you recognize you are incapable of taking care of a cat, or other living animals." -I can smell the sadness and grinding stains through the screen. -The United States Navy? More like The United States Gravy. -I see two squishmallows I wanna collect -You look like the less attractive half of a poly couple seeking their bi girl unicorn. -Screen name checks out -“Light weapons” is a bit misleading when you have the shape of a tank -I'm sorry no one loves you. -Arms and hands scream Diabetes Type 3 -Is this what a femcel looks like? -They teach squishmallow at top gun? Damn military is really going down hill -How many of them did you eat this week? -your taste in squishmallows is mid -How many ships have you sunk by setting foot on them? -At this point you might as well dress in brighter colors so you can blend into the pile of stuffed animals. With the hopes that someone accidently sits on your face. -Did you cross your legs like that so we couldn't see the other 20 squishmallows hiding in your pants? -Please stop this from coming up in my feed. -Were cats and plants too hard to keep alive so you had to switch to an inanimate object to hoard? -If a boiled egg was a person -This is neckbeard for girls -Wilma ate Fred Flintstone looking ass -I’m gunna send your pic right here to other girls I know with squish mellows and tell them this is what you look like. -You parallel park in the shower -you look like you squirt hot dog water -Your picture smells like catfood and sadness -Future cat ladies with allergies take notes. -"overweight, “hobby” of a 13 year old girl, and colored hair….the jokes just write themselves man" -Clever… without legs they can’t get up and leave -I don’t think there is a stick big enough that would hold you over a fire. -You are least attractive thing in this Pic. Poor Squishmallows would run away if they could. -My children would LOVE your room. ...as long as you weren't in it. -Nice weapon system you got there. -"Please, stop. Please! Your entire body is dissolving into bad." -I’ll bet all of them have your stank ass snail trails on em now there worthless -Bet they all smell like crotch -Your squishmallows are also poking out through your shirt. But then again it's to be expected from a human sized squishmallow that you are. -"Dude, why are your nipples near the floor??" -You just know she does things with them..... sexually -The stuffed animals are the only thing perky in here -"No matter how often you shower, you still smell like your cats." -How many of them have you dry humped today?! -The collection of squish mallows have penises attached to them for penetrating they also come in many sizes and vibration modes -Something tells me you spend all of your Saturday nights alone. -"How do you, at 34, look older than my mom, and I'm 38?" -Oh wow a barracks bunny who didn't grow up. -Which one is your favorite to hump? And which one do you strap a dog dildo onto? -You look like a soccer mom had a fight with a oxfam bin -"you look like you were attractive before advanced feminist theory talking points became prominent on twitter in 2016, now you’re… this." -You are what you… collect? -And yet she still manages to be the squishiest thing in the room. -your tits have reached a new low -Your 34 but your tits are 64 -...even your hair regrets being banged by you. -Your truck lights are flashing -Where are you all I see are squishmallows -Are you squishing them under them clothes or what?? -"If ""her loss"" was a person." -6 more years and they'll be cats -What the fuck -I am also 34 and you look 15 years older than me. -Nipples through the sweater. I’ve seen it all. -How big is your credit card debt? -Is there a bra between all those dog pets? -You’re 6 years younger than me but you still look old enough to be my mum. -Fat. Low set nipples. -You could definitely squash a mallow -That’s a nice tampon collection. Don’t forget to take the tags off first -Obviously don't have children and likes cats a bit too much -Add a 0 to your age and we got your weight -She needs cuddles from her animals because men won't cuddle her -Hasn’t life roasted you enough? -For sure voting Kamala -I can't If your really 34 I can't do worse for you. -At this point just get a sperm donor and stop trying to convince yourself and others that you don't want kids. -"Well atleast the squishies are looking outwards and up, unlike the other two depressed squishies 🐝" -Looks like you ate 30 4 year olds and stole their squishmallows. -"Nice tits, are those 44 longs?" -Even ur tits are looking for a way out -"You misspelled your *entire* title. I think you meant to say, - -“34(F), single. Never been kissed by another human being. Still living in my childhood bedroom at my parents. Work part time at Target to get a 50% employee discount on my Squishmallow collection. I have no savings because all my money goes to my collection because they’re the only friends I will ever have. Every pay day is like bringing home a new friend. Saturday nights are my favorite nights of the week because all my squishmallow friends and I stay up late drinking tea and talking about the new shipment of squishmallows that will come in that following Monday! My manager put me on a 2 squishmallow limit each pay week because I would use my entire paycheck to buy the entire stock of squishmallows, leaving none for the kids, and making all the parents angry who came in looking for squishmallows. I’ve also been known to physically fight children in the aisles who try to take my friends from me, so my manager moved me to the home good department to keep me away from the toy aisles.” - -Fixed it for you." -"Grow the fuck up you’re not a kid, -You’re 30 Debra. I can smell ur musty ass through my screen stinky take a shower. How the fuck are you 34 and still collecting squishmallows? You 100% peaked in 3rd grade and now you’re trying to go back. Let it go dude" -Everyone here always goes for the low hanging fruit (weight) when there's so many other low-hanging things. -"I'm trying to look at the picture, turn your head lights off 😂" -You love squishmallows so much you are trying to become one -"Admins, please delete! User only posted their squishmallow collection without a selfie" -Show me your friends under a blue light🧐 -"Cries herself to sleep every night, knowing the plushies are the only thing in the room that get stuffed." -I wonder how long it takes for a woman's squishmallow collection to turn into a moth habitat collection -Miss Frizzle if the magic school bus only visits the Chinese buffet -"When the moon crashes into the earth because of the gravity well between those titties and we all die, squishmallows will eat your face." -"Can't keep the cats alive, eh?" -Queen squishmallow and her loyal servants/food sacrifices. -Why did I pull this up and instantly smell bologna and failure? -How did you get that squishmellow to hold that sign? -I think I've seen you sitting on a black leather couch before -"""Ms. Frizzle never recovered after losing her teaching license""" -"Brain age 4, tit age 64." -You in 20 years: an entire house hoarded entirely full of squishmallows. You bathe in milk and rainbow marshmallows. You dress entirely in rainbow tie dye. You terrify locals with your rancid scent and outlandish clothing. -I'm trying to figure out which one's are the Squishmallows? -Is it hard to masturbate with all those dolls staring at you? -"If you make it far enough into the layer to see the squish mole collection, you’re not going home" -Just another neurodivergent. No one cares. Let us know if you start eating drywall or something. -"Pfft, at least 44!" -Stupid lookin ahh -You’re a squishmallow lady! All hail Lady Squishmallow!! -The only thing squishier than your wastes of money is your stomach but I’d rather have the squishmallows because they don’t disappoint me like you would -Must be cold in that room. -"I bet you have ""no Fb or ""FWB"" don't ask"" on your Facebook dating bio,no wonder you can't match with anyone." -Is this worse than being a hoarding cat lady? -The only thing you’ve done in the military is give the rest of the world more ammo to laugh at us. -Nipples are making your sweater look like an unhappy robot face which I’m assuming is the vibe hence the lonely nights. If you don’t see the nipples they’re right below where her elbows hang just slightly above the belly button region. It’s hard to tell since she is in fact the leader of the squishmallows and everything kind of clumps together under that sweater. -"If it keeps you inside and away from small children and the elderly, thumbs up!" -The fact that your nipples are showing through a hoodie is crazy -This ogre has more bangs than Band of Brothers -You have a face even a mother couldn’t love -Can’t roast you harder than life is -The only weapon I see here are the two squishmallows your hiding under that hoodie. -I feel bad for the squish mellow who took the pic 10 times before she was ok to post it -I just see a bunch of stuffed animals.... -She is part of her own collection -What in the flying fuck… any guy that bangs you has to be blind or have a stuffed animal fetish -You're... Gonna fuck those things? -Disney adult but for squishmallows -I guess cats were out of the question -"/consoom plushies, get excited for the next plushie" -"I've never said this before, but I wish you weren't nipping out." -Instead of Squishmallow you should buy a razor to shave your arms and a bra to avoid dragging them on the floor. -"I'm sorry, but I think you posted the wrong picture. I only see squishmallows in this one." -"When you die alone in your apartment and nobody cares/notices, at least you have fake animals that wont eat you. Smart move." -Some people just have that odor of post deletion within 6 hours. -"Admit it, you hid the bodies under the squishmallow mountain." -You forgot eating pizzas and crying too. -Are you trying to be part of the collection? -Your squishmallow collection has the same problem as ur waistband weak get good or start pretending to like dnd or Warhammer it's your only hope -Really leaning into the forever single life I see -I know you’re single and if you’re not god bless that man -L-O-S-E-R!!! -When nobody squishes your mellons. -I bet you've creepy out every employee at Disney world you've ever encountered -Life has already not more we can say than life already hasn’t—- a mirror says I’m right ! -You look like someone's demented lesbian aunt. -Are you sure you don't identify as they/them? -"There used to be twice as many, op got hungry and ate half of them." -Why would I need to roast you if you've already been roasted -Why is the holy hell does a room full of Squishmallows and the derision of Redditors make your nipples hard? Nevermind. Don’t tell me. -Still living in your childhood bedroom I see. Is it OK with your mum that you have posted this? -I bet all you eat are colorful gummies -The Plushies stay on the bed during sex. -When was the last time you felt the touch of another person? -Love the big nips. Looks squishy -Her nipples must be like fire hydrant caps to be seen through a sweatshirt. -"""Oh No, I do not like this fellow - -For his squish smells like fish - -And his teeth are too yellow"" - -\-Dr Seuss" -I would say go look for a man but idk if they make a ring that fits over bratwurst fingers -Direct me to where I can view those squishmallows -No need life already has -I mean it's not the worst transition I've ever seen -NIPS-O-RAMA! -I would roast you but my mom said not to burn trash -Your vibrators are also Squishmallows. -Imagine being the one rogue teddy in there that didn’t make the cut for the shelf display. -If you say it like this it never ever ends -Those are huge ! -"you look like one of the lesbians Hollywood tries to portray as generic, but in all reality its nowhere near how they realy are" -"Giving vibes of a person who would enjoy singing parodies of songs with squish mellow awkwardly inserted. - -“All the single ladies! All the single ladies! If you liked it then you shoulda put a squish mellow on it! If you liked then you shoulda put a squish mellow on it!”" -Body Type: Squishmellow -All of the squishes have the vibrating function. -The amount of money spent on these stuffed toys could probably feed a person in a third world country for a year. -How was the training at Top Gunt? -I mean being fat and ugly pretty much sums it up -No dude could ever take you seriously. You actually tried to make yourself look like one of those toys! FFS what’s wrong with you? -You look like you are single and deserve to be. -I bet you ate half of your collection to gain that body fat. -" -If urea was a person" -No chance of an onlyfans link with this one. -"No, they don’t count as you ever having someone in your bedroom." -You forgot to say Single -Reba Mcin-tired at looking at you -Any junk in the trunk? -"Ugh, I can just hear that beefy gash in your pants queefing like a tub of homemade slime when you squash your Squishmellows \*\*fwlorp\*\* \*\*glewrp\*\* \*\*schlunk\*\*" -4 ktytmiuuu -"Go back to the Navy, and please PT this enlistment." -Love it!!! Awesomeness collection -"Wait, which one isn't a Squishmallow?" -You’ve got more chins than a Chinese phone book -HS blow job queen been downhill since -You squishmallows hard nipples are showing -Ugh.. -No guy that ever visits that room of horrors leaves alive -I see some Squishmallows. You look like you ate the rest of them -Did you go to school to become a tank? -"Aww, you look just as squishy as your collection" -"Ok, you’ve posted a pic of your squishmellows. Where’s your picture now?" -"Next time I'm about to cum, I'm going to close my eyes and envision this picture... at best, I'll get an extra 3-5 pumps in... at worst, I'll lose my erection, become autistic and go blind for 2-3 business days" -"I don't know if there's a word for someone worse than a disappointment, but if there is, it was made just for you." -Dependa. -"Squishmallows, Scud Missles and Skid Marks" -Roseanne CARR -How’s that credit card debit? Your mortgage doing okay? -"Will you please, please, please… go put a bra on?!" -"I’m not gonna for a roast on your appearance, just want to let you know how sad and pathetic it is to be a squish mallow enthusiast in your 30’s. - -I bet you also complain about barely being able to make ends meet, while also purchasing every new squish mallow that comes out" -The next room is filled with cats ..... -You're a bit too big for DDLG. -"You have stumpy arms, look older than 34, hair like a granny and probably get turned on by Disney films." -"With that many stuffies, there's not a shot in hell you are sane. The more they have the crazier they are. Like loves to fuck, does all the things you like and then some but also keys your car and stalks your life while also sending 2000 text messages kind of crazy. - -And this where she would correct me and say, ""They are squishmellows, not stuffies"" thus proving my point." -Probably has more boyfriends than I do albeit you are probably the one with the strap on and not them. -What no i love this and you -Honestly you’d still probably be a great fuck. -You're beautiful -Living evidence that men will fuck anything -"Ah. Local mcsalads are 2 miles away, care to run?" -What -Holy fucking shit if terminally online was a person. Make a real human for fuck's sake. -You look like a yeast infection -you look like you eat lunchly everyday and you got insane then starts collecting squishmallows -In the other room is her collection of large insertions -For a woman with the build of a plowtruck you sure think you're something to look at. -"What’s up, four-eyes! - -(Just kidding)" -Even your “special friends” stopped talking to you. -Which one are you? I see lots of squishmallows everywhere…. -Ok ok it puts the lotion on the skin -"Hey you dumb fat bitch, your ugly ass pepperonis are showing through that hoodie" -I can smell the BO and cat piss in this picture. -"At your weight and age there's a very good chance your life is already half over, and the 2nd half goes by much faster.. You're past your peak, it's all down hill now. No more dreams. No more lying to yourself.. Just an overweight, immature woman with nothing really going on in her life. - - -Crippling regret is already in the mail. It'll be delivered soon. Prepare yourself for it." -Hard nips in a sweatshirt suggest arousal not cold. Those squishmallows have all encountered some harrowing ordeal. -"Women with stuffed animals are the next generation of lonely old spinster cat ladies. You thought maybe someday you'd be able to pass along your stuffed animals to your child, but nobody wanted to have kids with you, and now you're 34 trying to act like your creepy stuffed animal room is your ""collection"", and not an evident sign that your hopes and dreams for a family will never come to fruition." -Definition of heavy flow and wide set vagina -You should not be proud of this. You should be embarrassed. lol -Are you selling? -Move i cant see them -Where are you in the picture? -What’s a squidmallow? -"This is sad, like you chose this life for you." -Big yikes -When you’re not quite good enough to be an old cat lady. -Could either be an Australian hottie or an American lesbian idk -The red flags are coming from all directions Captain. Abort Mission! Abort! -How to say I’m a female virgin without saying I’m a female virgin -"""What flavour of autism did you get"" - -""Squishmallow virgin""" -I’d like to squish those mallows around my meat -I haven’t met a single person that has a squishmallow collection that DOESNT have BPD 😭 -I have seen what you look like lately -"Why did you post some pic of a random squishmallow collection? You have to post a pic of yourself if you want us to roast you, dummy." -Tell me your mentally unstable without actually saying it. -"Okay... - - -You are 34 years old, this is your Squishmallow collection, and this is how you're spending your Saturday night." -"I hope you have good insurance, insulin costs are no joke in the USA" -It’s great to see that toy manufacturers are giving people like yourself their physical representation on the shelf. -"So when you say you’re going to see your (non-existent) boyfriend, it’s actually one of these plushies… probably the ugliest one… the Burger. But you’ve convinced people his name is Berg. - -“I can’t go out tonight; I’m seeing Berg tonight!”" -At least she's surrounded by her only friends -And this is how she has a Slumber Party with ‘all of her friends’… -"So, which one are you?" -no i dont need any help with this product -"Admit it, you collect them because they're the only things that you'll ever hold through the night. You belong on the pillow humping subreddit, don't you?" -"You’re so cute, I don’t know what to say." -Nope -Why are you hiding two of them? -You have a problem if you have a collection of hump pillows -So you turn them around before you use your vibrator or do you let them watch? -You're like a 4... with the graces of a 7 -"I’m guessing you’re single, but with no bra on? I’ll roast you and put those fucking things in the closet." -I can't see the other two squishmallows under that hoodie. You gotta retake the photo now🤷‍♂️ -"Say your trying to stay sober, without saying your staying sober lol" -Your nipples must be as hard as a nail tip to be visible in a sweatshirt 😉 😜 -Female incels really are something huh? -Fire crotch. -I voted for kamala harris. See look at my post of my I voted sticker. -Thanks for your service -comment -"If employment is a concern, you could always start asking people riddles as they try to cross a bridge." -Why you still got your baby teeth -You look like you're 35... for the 15th year in a row. But at least your kids don't have to worry about you drinking while pregnant because you'd need to have sex first -You could almost smell the cat piss coming off of this photo -Not touching this one. Punching down that much would be lame. And cock-eyed. -No luck catching them nasty hobbitses then? -Therapists look at you and see dollar signs -The important thing is that you are carrying on your family tradition. -Gat damn. Bill Cosby took you on a date and gave you a redbull. -You look like you've been 35 since the Clinton administration. -Upset Wazowski didn’t turn his paperwork yet? -35 never looked so fucking rough -35 city years....bitch you need to moisturize -"drank what while pregnant with you, battery acid??" -Hey you girls -"You've got great blew eyes - -One blew this way and one blew that way" -35... What? Decades..? -You are the same age as me and yet I feel you could be my grandma. -I always wondered about Sloths parents in the Goonies… -"I ain't worried about roasting you, but God damn please clean 😭😭" -"First time I’ve ever seen an advert for dentistry, abortion and teetotalism in one picture" -"you put the No in Pinot Noir - -you put the Nah in Sauvignon Blanc" -Halloween is coming up. go apply for a job at a haunted house. -"35? You accidentaly uploaded photo of your mom, right? Right?" -Your Mom should have known to use a metal coat hangar. The plastic ones lead to partial birth. -"Looks like ""unemployed, likes wine and mother drank during pregnancy"" is a comprehensive description of your entire personality." -"Unfortunately, I can’t roast you. The smell will offend the Muslims next door." -"Some say you are what you eat, but in your case, it's more like you are what your mom drank" -Are your parents siblings or cousins? -35 going on 65 -I'm sorry. -We shall call you Mrs mortgage because one eyes fixed and the other is variable -"I would give you ""all of it"", but it looks like life already has." -35? You look like one of my residents at the assisted living I run. Eeeesh -What’s your left eye looking at?😳 -You look like the twin sister Kathy Bates reabsorbed in the womb. -You look like what little kids think 35 looks like. -Looks like something you’d see in the movie “the hills have eyes” -That eye is so lazy it should be on welfare. -Looks like epilepsy is still keeping things shaken up -35? Really? You look like somebody's grandma on meth. .... ain't no frickin' way your 35. You even dress like you're 70. -Damn! 35? I would have guessed at least 55 -"Now look here, no here. No here. Here. Look here." -The seizures are just the epilepsy trying to desperately escape from you -That’s a fucking rough 35 -Crustier than a chicken pot pie -"When you say “Give me all of it,” you obviously mean the wine. And that’s a good thing. Alcoholism is probably your best hope for a career." -The ugly stick cried UNCLE!!!! -"Unlike wine, you did not age well" -Anyone remember when The Tick found a mangy capybara and thought it was a dog??? -35? Is that the square root of your age? -Your photo told us all of that before you even typed it. -So you like your wine shaken and not stirred? -You guys are inhumane. I’m leaving this one alone -"My bro looks like granny if it was cancelled half way through the production, was the person taking the photo trying to do a try not to laugh Challange?" -Not ageing like fine wine -"God, i saw week old corpses looking more lively than you." -You should be a security agent. You have the capacity to watch two people at once -35F? no way. -Your mom also drank while the hunchback of notre dame was hitting it -Will you please look at me when you're looking at me??? -"Plug in your refrigerator, it works better that way. Wash the wine glass, the dirty bra, the floor, and your teeth. - -Can't help with the rest of it much." -Hey babe - what's shaking? -Jesus Christ I was diagnosed at 24; is this what I have to look forward to??? -I just don't have the heart. -Raise a glass! Seize the moment! You truly are the grandest of them mal! -Jabba the slut -Democrats are about to start using this post in a case for why abortion after birth should be legal -You didn't have to tell us what we already knew -how many of the men you’ve slept with are suddenly missing an arm? -What mutagenic substance did your mom drink during pregnancy? -Am’I going to hell for laughing at you? -At least she lives in the basement of a library -I almost didn’t recognize Janeane Garofalo. -Your mom didn't drink enough.  -She drank that much because she was trying to get rid of the Xenomorph. -Box of Merhellno! -"Nah, Girl. You already have been roasted by life. Gonna leave you alone." -At least the mess that is your room caught up with the mess that is your life. -That wonky left eye is staring into the future -Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you. -That’s what happens when they forget you in the womb for more than 9 months. -Eh life already roasted you. Next! -"They made a movie about you, something about a New Batch..." -"Life roasted you enough, I have nothing to say." -Drinking while on epilepsy meds is asking to be an elephant vibratior -Nope not going to hell today -nono u missunderstood something. Epilepsy is diagnosed with you -This inbred work right here -"We can clearly see your mom drank while she was pregnant, and had a lot more reason to drink when she saw what popped outta her cooch" -I don't want to roast someone who looks like our school lunch lady. There are some lines that shouldn't be crossed. -"Well look on the brightside, even though you like alcohol just like your mom, you will never pass along any malfunction because you will never get pregnant" -Your only talent is being able to eat an apple through a tennis racket. -Isn't this a poster from the Gollum game? -I think that you've had enough. Good day. -You can watch duel gaming monitors at the same time. -"You didn’t have to mention your mom drank when pregnant with you. - -One look at you and we already knew." -You give men a reverse erection…like a frightened turtle. -You look like the female version of that hillbilly from wrong turn -Your face reminds me of rumpelstiltskin's goose -Your smile gives me inspiration for my next jack o lantern -I'd hit that. *steps on gas pedal* -You look like you sweat frying oil instead of sweat -Like mother like daughter -You were dealt a bad hand in life but then for some reason decided to go all in with that hand. -"As a fellow epileptic, don't worry, you'll shake it off." -I'm good. Life already roasted you enough -You look like an ad for the next episode of Hoarders -"You could be the leading prop for every low budget horror film, at least West Virginia Cannibals 123" -Them teeth are still social distancing. -You’re hot jk -Theres a library missing an employee -Is that 1 front tooth or 3 front teeth? -I feel like im about to be read awful poetry on a planet demolition spaceship. -Ogre-librarian -That’s a dirty wine glass. -The apple doesn’t seem to fall far from the tree! -" -She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know..." -God already did -Your glass look cleaner than your hair -Susan Boil -Don’t look a day over 55. -Breathtaking. -Not roasting you but just came here to say I have epilepsy too and damn I’m sorry. Epilepsy sucks so much -Its kind of a self own but she looks like one of the few matches on Tinder I used to get living in BFE Ohio. -"Gollum’s “hotter” younger sister, Allgums." -You belong under the stairs -I'm out. God already got you. -35 or 55? -"""I'm watching you Wazowski""" -Get a mirror and you've roasted yourself. -No. Life already gave you too much to handle already. -35 or 53 with dyslexia? -she flosses with clothesline -says she is 35 but looks 55. -Mrs Ed -you look like you are the creator of the omegaverse - Does anyone wanna tell her about CBD or should we instead place bets on how fast she can down a box of Franzia? -No no no… God roasted you enough -Epilepsy was diagnosed with you. -"It's not epilepsy, just inherited alcoholic tremors." -Only through cell division are you allowed to procreate. -You have more cats than friends. -At least you will be safe traveling alone in India. -Even Michael Jackson wouldn't touch your kids😂😂 -Is there a type of mind bleach just for Reddit posts? -This is Frankie MacDonald my own TV station live in Sydney Nova Scotia. -Lookin like Cathy masterbates… -So is this a roast me post or a viagra challenge? 🤔 Cause I just took my 5th pill and still can't get hard to that picture. -"I wonder how many suicides this single subreddit causes. -Hey, atleast there's no active murders being committed." -Time has not been kind to courage the cowardly dog’s mother -you look like your ready to carry on the family traditon! -You look like the Mayor of lake town from the hobbit -"You won't have to worry about epilepsy so much, no light will ever shine on you." -I can't go harder than baby teeth gone wrong. Sorry -"Look at those blew eyes. One blew this way, one blew that way." -One eye is looking at me the other eye is looking for me -Looks like about half your teeth called in sick -With gappy teeth like that you could eat an apple through a tennis racket! -"Even if you got a job, driving your mums car for Uber, epilepsy and sobriety tests would render your usefulness obsolete." -"This is another one of those videos where it's like *mom why am I named feather? Cus when you were a baby in the hospital a feather fell on your head* - -Your the kid they called brick" -Think you got those numbers mixed up when typing your age. -I think the only roasting worth your time would be with a gallon of gas and a match -You already roasted yourself so well I actually feel sorry for you -Wino from conception. -Clearly your dad drank too -That old saying history repeating itself ........ -You should get pregnant so scientists can see what double-FAS looks like. -Holy fuck yikes. Chewing bricks your whole life to. And which eye is good for contact -Susan Boyle is your hero. -Looks like your mom didn't drink enough -"Don’t worry, those baby teeth will come out by themselves." -Have you ever cosplayed as Tina Belcher? -Ah the circle of life. Your mom drank while pregnant with you and now it's your turn! -I'm getting strong toxic avenger vibes -The only way you'll ever get dates is if they down a lethal amount of wine. -Drinking was the least of your mom's transgressions while pregnant with you! -Cobra JFS sister that he’s never told us about. -Is this a silver alert? -"Your mom was trying to prevent all of “this” by drinking as much as she could. - -But alas, you are here. So she clearly failed." -I always wondered what happened to the scientist from Bicentennial man. -you'd be perfect for live action troll movie -Temu Tina Belcher -Lisa Loeb after she stayed -I think your mom would’ve drank more if she knew how you’d turn out. -I can’t do it -All of it? Has any man ever given you any of it? Homeless guys wouldn’t let you blow them for a hunski. -"35 going on 70…I’d roast you, but it seems that life has already done a good job of it." -Another shovel fight loser. -Life already roasted you too much -Looks like we just found out who's playing the Cave Troll in the next season of Rings of Power. -Was your mom also your older sister and was your dad her brother? -35 going on 73 -You had a seizure at the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. -"Are they remaking Throw Momma From the Train, or something?" -Someone put that paper in her hand and just snapped a picture. -The only question here is how many cats are at her feet -This is a literal Internet Troll -Pass. No one here can roast you better than life already has. Good luck. -And u can tell she is a leader of hoarder community -You could pass as Susan Boyles mom. -You use one eye to navigate around your environment and the other eye to navigate using the stars -Looks like a substitute teacher that got into it for the dicks -Jesus H Christ -Fucking hell… -Quasi moto gf -"Yeah, we know your mom drank when she was pregnant with you, both saying it and putting your picture up is redundant" -Did your mom drink an entire winery while pregnant? -Damn I thought I looked bad I'm going to buy myself a lottery ticket my luck is changing -"One eye is trying to look for me, whilst the other eye is trying to find me. - -Chameleon confirmed." -"Huh, didn't know ogres were real." -Looks like you clean your house as well as you clean yourself. Wash your hair and pick up that trash. -What the fuck kind of ointment is all over that wine glass -comment -This motherfucker acting like he's excited for the weekend like he isn't going to just continue playing minecraft the whole time -I think you’ve missed the point of athletic clothing -That Puma is the only pussy you’ll ever get -Puma stock fell down 50% -A level 20 basement dweller out in the wild.  The end times are near. -Lord of the onion rings -"When the waiter asks how much parmesan you want on your spaghetti, you ask how much he brought." -Look how proud he is of himself by touching grass -"Dude you look like 12, are kids allowed on Reddit?" -You break a sweat pooping -Do you still put bologna in your left pocket? -Definitely a Reddit mod for my little pony sub -"If your mother would sit on that gaming chair, you get a sibling in 9 months" -You sued the church because you were the only one that didn't get molested -Gotta love a good hog roast -13 year old Peter Griffin -You like someone’s never married 56 year old aunt. -Which sub-reddit do you mod? -I engaged with this post now I'm getting an ad for Weight watchers. -Upskirt photography final boss -So cute! He named is inflatable doll The Weekend. -thought this was a cartman cosplay -Why does it look like you got a squeaky laugh? -Time to go into a diabetes clinic -Woah…. Slow your roll there chief …..and save some pussy for the rest of us. -i got bees on my head but dont call me a bee head -You look like the UK version of andy milonakis -Moo Deng looking mfer -If Costco had a realist lifestyle model… -You make Andy Milonakis look good -You look like you could be either gender in the middle of transitioning -"Total fucking pea, bee, lee head." -Harry has been using his wand to order -"Man, that outfit looks like OCD, body in it is OBCD." -jackin off and eatin doritos aint much of a weekend -The most pointless placement of sporting goods -You look both 12 and 45 at the same time. -Not much can be saved to be honest. At least tell your mother to stop cutting your hair. -"Don't forget to call your parents and apologize for your life thus far 🤔. - -And to borrow money..." -Typical out of shape aspiring NFL coach lookin ass. -The only thing you're going into is a box of Twinkies -poster child for raising his hand to remind the teacher homework needed to be collected -"Not going to lie, I thought I was looking at a glowup post where a 14 year old toad turn into a middle aged prince, but nope just failure." -You look like a mix between needing your mom’s permission and the police’s permission to go hang out with other kids. -I want to add you to my collection of garbage pail kids! -If Benjamin Button didn’t have kids… -And Milenakis' gay twin brother -Deffoo fucks a sex doll. -Young gaben -That Puma tracksuit was born to be draped on an athlete but unfortunately you bought it and ruined its life! -"Nice try, Russia" -It's Pat!! -bro you look 12 -Ready for the retirement villa in the fucking Puma track suit. -"I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one." -Your body says time to go into hibernation. -Your parents have a wonderful garden. -Are you still friends with the old man who tied all those balloons to his house? -"1/3 of the way to dying a virgin, keep up the strong work." -You look like a 12 year old who's ready for their dad to pick them up for the weekend. (He's not coming. He prefers his new family) -This has to be the lightsaber duel guy -It’s like Hasbulla ate the mushroom from Mario Bros and grew to full size -looks like you never left the weekends and you wearing track suit as a pajama… fat nerd! -You in workout clothes is about as believable as Tom Cruises as the last Samurai -Are you sure it’s the weekend? You better check your Melaclockus! -25 tons you mean? -Only household appliance you know how to use is a microwave. -Your grandma is going to be the only woman in your life calling you beautiful -"25m, M for Months??" -you look 4'9 -Athletic clothes…never mind -"Please, not another nerdy Twitchstreaming fathead, who rages on Valorant about his teammates he misses the shot." -"The only place this mf is ""going"" is to the fridge" -You look like the old dude in the movie Up! -Time to go all right.. time to go potty! -U look like my best friend when he was 13. -You look like a weaker version of the Kool-Aid man who can't get through any walls. -*Kilo*-Chad -Ironic use of athletic wear I see! -You have the face of the Priest and the body of an altar boy -"No notes, total baller" -Jabroni Milonakis -I loved you as the sandlot in The Sandlot. -Fatter Oswalt -The kid from Bad Santa lost his curls... cute look bud! -I’m not roasting a 12 year old with Diabetes -I find nothing but pure sex appeal here -You prolly out of breath just post this. -/r/13or30 -Time to go into *the gym* this weekend -You’re the ugliest lesbian I’ve ever seen. Lose the track suit and find a boyfriend. -I think the weekend went into you. -Weird to see one pre-fedora. He looks so normal. -Can’t tell if you’re actually 25 ? 15 ? Or 45 but regardless I have the urge to give you a wedgie from hell -you wearing fitness clothes is like a fish wearing a scuba mask -This dude…. is gonna fuck one day -He's Mama's favorite biscuit. -Puma pants more like poo my pants -"Despite the sporty clothes, your body tells you haven't even walked past a gym. Ever." -What in the Universal Credit PIP is going on here? -This guys been 10 years old for 15 years -Looks like the weekend went into you -Time to go into the weekend……. And molest children? -Harry!! Tell me about your dinosaurs 🦖 -Dude looks like he's 12 -Always wore a tshirt when swimming in his best friends pool. -"Mom and dad got divorced when he was in second grade. Dad works at Puma and sent him an entire outfit for his birthday and he wears it everyday. Some day he’ll come visit, when he has the time." -The only thing he's going into is a golden corral and deeper into his virginity! -Bro you look like a 10 year old with diabetes -"Relax guys it's photoshopped, he is not really outside." -If “fuck it” was a person -The Handmaid’s Tale is your favorite romantic comedy. -Nice that your parents still let you live upstairs…they must not have a basement. -Science really came through giving Bob the Tomato the full-body transplant he’s been begging for. ✨ -You misspelt 15. -Can you help me on a journey to destroy an evil Ring? -Puma called and asked please don’t wear are clothes for obvious reasons -I was wondering what happened to Andy Milonakis. -“Puma” is what you shout to your mother because you couldn’t get out of your chair. -At least you don't ever have to worry about performing sexually. -You look like obese hermaphrodite lesbian with worst genetics possible. Your DNA system is based on U G L Y molecules -"The weekend said please stay home, for everyone sake." -Attack on the clothed titan -"I'm not sure which number is larger, your weight or your cholesterol" -"I hope you’re smart, because you’re gonna need a lot of money to make a life happen." -*”Hey! Look! It’s the Fat Kid from Hey Dad! All grown up!”* -How do you look 12 and 35 at the same time? -Shortlisted without interview for the diversity representative. -"As a competitive donut eater, do you like your donuts that are so fat, the holes are closed, or do you like them skinny, with big holes?" -Damn Cartman grew up -You look like you're in stuck in your teens. You dress like a bench warmer in a tennis team. They kept you cause you're big enough to warm the whole bench. -Andy milonakis reloading .. -As if everyday isn’t the weekend for this non working society draining basement dweller -"If we roasted you, the whole town would turn up because there would be too much food." -I didn't know they made Puma gear in XXXXXXXXX...*see more* -Sandy Milonakis -Dripping in Puma Swag. We salute you King 🫡 -"I can t roast you, life already did it" -"Making incels proud, one track suit at a time" -Peter Griffin in his youth 👌🏼 -If Alan Titchmarsh was a 17 year old nonce -"25? In dog years, maybe." -Closest that tracksuit has ever come to a track is trackmania -I honestly can’t tell if you’re 18 or 48. -Andy Milonakis -Andy milanokis looking mug -How does he simultaneously look so young and like the old man from Up at the same time!?! -Don't bother to come back out of the weekend -You look like a de-frocked priest that still hangs around the youth club. -"How do you manage to look like a child, and a child molester at the same time?" -God already roasted you. What do you need us for? -12 going on 25 -Gotta slay those 12 year olds in Halo after insulting their mothers for 2 hrs in the lobby.  -You're like a vape pen. Those that go for you would prefer the illegal ones. -If Eric Cartman was a real asshole -"‘Time to go into the weekend….’ *enters the gaming chair, which he doesn’t leave…period*" -Can I see your ID please -I’m shocked you even know what day it is when every day is the same for you. Is that first picture your first time in the sunlight since 2000? -Raising Peter griffin -Motherfucker definitely still in puberty -I’m stuck on these roast me page when I am supposed to be picking a new credit card -You look 13 and 57 simultaneously -That's a giant baby boy -He seems like a good person and not the typical weirdo that displays themselves here.  -That’s the oldest 12 year old I’ve ever seen. -I stay puma down to the socks -Time to put the snacks down and time for some exercise my dude. Time to say no to fast food and yes to walking. Shall I continue? -"Mate, how old are? You look like you should be selling balloons from the balloon stand at the zoo." -"You are 12 and 45 at the same time. Also, mimicking the Russian track suit style doesn't make you look cooler. Which is difficult to say because ANYTHING should make you look cooler." -"Have we figured out if he is, in fact, sponsored by Puma?" -You sure you didn’t mean weekday at the elementary school? -Look at that…a track suit that’s never seen a track. You’ll never loose weight by calories lost from chewing alone. -Do your parents know that you are outside? -How can you look like the molester and molested. -"Head to toe athletic gear, never worked out a day in your life." -The puma out of breath -Yep. A lot of buffets to put out of business. -"The fabled ""Mom's Basement""" -Oh shit i thought u were a 15 yo boy -“Ditch the raid group to use the bathroom? I’d rather just Puma pants.” -Diet consists of capri suns and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. -Has anyone seen the Weekend? I’m worried you ate him. -Someone Jim Saville considered too far gone to sexually abuse -Ain’t nothin Puma about you -Satoshi I know you have 1 million bitcoin somewhere -It would be more fitting if the clothes brand read Pumbaa! -You look 12 -It’s nice for your mom to post your headed off to 6th grade photos. -"Cmon man you don't need to be roasted you need to hit the gym, the fits cool just looks ridiculous on peter griffin , you got this lose a bit of weight bro it's worth it" -I’ve never seen someone so you look like such an old Russian grandfather before. Christ the stories that chair could tell. -Sup Peter Griffin in Puma. -Never seen such tiny little hands -"When I think of roasting you i think of an apple in your mouth, wonder why" -I’m stream sniping your stupid ass boy -"You look like the Kool-Aid Man ""OH YEAH!""" -"Bros got the fortnite shoes -WHUTTT DA HEEEEEEELLLL" -One of the Jared from Subway victims. All grown up. -Why is Lewis Capaldi asking to be roasted? -You look like you're cosplaying both as a child molester and the child that's going to be molested. -*roll -You masturbate with your tears of loneliness as lube. -you should restrain yourself from going near any minors you recessive chromosome -Looking like Merkules illegitimate child -Time to go back into your mom’s basement -Looking forward to day release? -Nice -Bruh you need to go into a diet -"You leave puma on during sex? Jk, I know that piece don’t see any play" -I can't tell if you're an adult or a kid with the body of a PE teacher -What changes on the weekend? You don't work. -"I can’t roast you, you look like a really cool guy to hang out with." -"Bro, you're too fat to go into anything. You'll have to walk beside the weekend." -It's time to get gastric bypass surgery. -Man looks 10 on the verge of hitting 40 -Which episode of To Catch a Predator is this? -Cutest baby grandpa i've Seen on Reddit -"More like time to go into an In & Out Burger, 2 McDonald's & a AYCE buffet. - -... and that's just for lunch ...." -Mans is excited to jackoff to hentai for most of the weekend. -Coming this fall to CBS: Young Patton Oswald -You look like a hamster cosplaying a human -panda in puma clothes. -I don't even know what to say about this chick -Athletic garden gnome -His mother not so excited for the weekend. She has to wash the 25 crispy crew socks collecting between his bed and the wall. -So sad he isn't good enough for E-sports he ate a pro thinking he would gain his powers. -I’m sure there’s a few things you’re going to cum into this weekend as well. Living people not being either of them -"respectfully bro, you look like you're ten" -Wish version of Rose-O-Donald lmao -You've definitely fucked multiple pieces of your parents furniture on the rare occasions they let you out the basement -Time to hit the Gym -25? You look like an overgrown toddler playing dress up with his dads clothes -I bet you got hungry reading the word „roast“ -Dressed for the track but it's never seen one minute of exercise in it's life -Bro looks like he's 15 going on 37 -"His mom leaves the house on weekends..so, he can really watch porn more freely." -Your average twitch streamer in a nutshell. -You’d be better off going into a weight loss program. -I can smell this picture. -I thought this was in r/glowups because that clearly is a picture of a 15-year-old. Very surprised when the second picture was of the same child. -You should take care of those clothes and shoes cause that puma is as close to pussy as you’re going to get in your life time. -Damn you brought out your nice clothes eh chief -You know he sits on his hands long enough for them to go numb so it feels like somebody else’s Cheetos covered fingers are playing with his balls. -Did your support worker take those pictures for you? -This might be some of the lowest levels of T I’ve ever seen. Might want to consult with a doctor. -Track suit? The only track he's been on is the track to getting diabetes. -Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son. -Mom said clean up ! -It's like if Captain Planet needed someone with the power of diabetes you'd be pretty high on the list of phone calls he'd make -You're related to Shane Gillis aren't you? -His mom brought that outfit and took the photo -You look like your head bobbles -Fresh jump suit my dude! -That's really the real life Charlie brown. He's excited because Halloween is getting closer and is gunna meet the great pumpkin -"25...minutes until you need to report for homeroom at your middle school, ya fuckin infant?" -One more cranny and you’re gonna need that insulin shot. -You look 15 -Mf thinks he knows the difference between weekdays and weekends -error 404 neck not found -Looking 14 and 48 at the same time is wild work -You look like every kid I did support worker shifts for and had to listen to the constant drone about obscure Japanese only versions of megaman games for systems that were out 2 decades before you were born. If I saw you crossing the road I’d accelerate. -"Got a big weekend filled with crushing hot pockets, primes, and getting your ass whipped by 12yr olds in COD do ya?" -I don't think my oven is large enough. -"You mean ""Time to roll into the weekend!""" -Harry Potter and the Tax Audit in Birmingham. -"PUMA: Poor, Unhealthy, Massive Arsehole." -You look like my middle-aged german teacher back in trade school -"You're 25?? More like 25 to Life, for the crimes you've obviously committed." -You look like Gerry Mooney. -I’d be willing to bet you haven’t been within a hundred yards of a school in quite some time. -I’ve seen squirrels with better fashion taste than you -It's been 10 years till this mf should've hit puberty. -Was ur dad In jurassic park? The one dinosaur spit in his face when he tried to steal the fancy something tech DNA or something ? 🦕🦖🤗 -"""The Weekend"" must be the name of the all you can eat buffet near you" -Time to roll into the weekend. -Are you andy milinakis? If not are you related to him? -25? Man you look 15 -no -mf looks like he has the power of god and anime on his side -Smear cream cheese in my gold locket it's my show I'm Andy milonakis -Joe wexler from 600lb life -"He wanted to wear Addidas, but he was too fat to squat and had to settle for Puma." -You look good write to dm heart -Useless fat fuck..... quit eating fastfood -You're 25? I was hoping with a little more of puberty's help so that you'd be able to grow a beard out and hide that giant ass Peter Griffin neck. Sorry dude ... Bad genes -"If you would curl up in a fetal position on an incline, you would roll all the way to another dimension RolyPoly." -You will age backwards this weekend -Probably spent half of your life in minecraft -WTF 😂 -Do yourself a favor and go into the weekend on a hunger strike -You look like you’re still going through puberty -"No, I do not have any games on my phone." -You’re somehow 25 and 12 at the same time. -Asked asked Bing AI to give me an image of Cartman if he were part of the Russian mafia and come up with this exact image. -He’s here for the beer & the bitches. -The kid from Bad Santa grew up! -Even the three day weekend isnt big enough for you to get into -Who let you out of your mother's basement? -"I luv yur pumas. I havone to - --Henrik -(Mrs Klein’s Pre-K Class)" -🎵That’s Pat! 🎶 -Even the weekend spurned your advances. -Only thing you’ll ever go into. -Weekend is the name of his basement. -You look like you'd get a dual Citizenship just to have two Thanksgivings a year -Had to post proof that he touched grass so I guess that’s off the table. -That gaming chair has paid for itself tenfold -That's an alarming amount of athletic apparel.. -The sporty Hamburgler -Bro wearing Puma just to pounce on a pile of cupcakes -You’ll never fit into the weekend -"I use to have that same chair, also you are one fat little fucker." -Damn kid! Save some pussy for the rest of us -Teenage Peter Griffin -"Damn, AJ Sporano is out here doin big tings I see" -Turbo shit state -whats the over under on how many workouts hes done in those gym clothes -Love the workout clothes -Wackson_22 untalented brother -12 going on 25? Goddamn -Shouldn't you be under a bridge somewhere? -25? You look 14. You’re a fat white Webster. -"25 years ago, a high school age JD Vance blew his load in between two couch cushions after school. This is your origin story" -So that's what happened to Andy milonakis I always wondered where he ended up -"""Hail fellow men, time to go into the weekend!"" *gets beat up*" -You look like TheGBLN -Stop the cap you're a 10 year old ipad kid -Well it's not a woman you're going into. That's for sure. -You look like the type of person who would green screen standing in grass. -We know the first picture is a green screen to pretend like you actually touch grass -"Bro should try transition, face is perfect, tits are already there and he hasn't seen his own dick in years." -Andy Milonakis!! That you?? -dXRacer? The only thing you’re racing to is the fridge -You look a classic Reddit person -"25 looks 15. -Testosterone has permanently left the group chat." -Ed Sheeran if he played old school runescape instead of the guitar -The tracksuit is giving Russian underachiever -"“Time to go into the weekend!” -*Grabs PS5 controller *" -If sausage roll was a person -Can't tell if he's 14 or a middle-aged lesbian. -Nice try Andy Milonakis -You look like you just stepped out of a time machine from Poland in 1987… and somehow brought the entire decade’s wardrobe with you. -He ate the weekend. ... -"I like how the first photo is outside, then the second one is in a computer chair, like he was outside already and now he’s heading into an intense 20 hour world of Warcraft session" -"Weren’t you on Animal House? “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life”." -25 going on 12 -"Nice tracksuit, them women ain't gonna chase themselves" -Heaven used to be a place on earth until you set foot in it. -100% Euro -Lesbian or incel??? -This cosplay of a British nonce is 🔥 -I thought i scrolled past another nonce getting caught in a random park -"Yo, I ain’t seen Andy Milonakis in forever" -How far into your transition are you? -comment -I bet your physics professor uses you as an example of an unmovable object. -"If you are here, who is taking care of the pigeons in home alone 2" -"I try to be body positive. Regarding your body, I’m positive I can’t." -That chest is writing cheques your face can't cash -Its phyllis -You look like a marshmallow left in water! -18 going on 40. Where to even start? -"Tits like baywatch, face like crimewatch." -You are the M in E=MC2 -"> 109% on my physics exam - -A pretty convenient way to say you broke a scale 🐳" -"Your scale is reading 109%, too." -"Shut up, goth meg." -"You look like someone took the tattletale from Little House and forced her to work at a brothel for coal miners. - -You look like someone colorized a porn image of a fur trapper from the 1800’s - -After servicing the glory-hole you put your mouth up to the hole and yell “ Tell em Large Marge sucked ya!” - -It’s the newest image of Diabetic Matrix" -"Sorry, you misheard me, I said I like girls with ""ASS"" not ""MASS""" -By the looks of it you probably got some mayonnaise on that test too. -I know our immigration policy is lax but did you eat all the other Russian mail order brides on the boat over? -"Borderline and a barcode skin by any chance? - -Or just Depression and being boring." -Your tits look super confident too. Super confident that in 12 months they’ll be bouncing off your knees. -"Feeling super confident. -(walks past mirror) -Oh." -It's was a 125% but you slept with your teacher and he adjusted the score appropriately.  -"Good thing you good at physics, because you will need special formulas to measure your own celestial body in a few years." -109% Obese with Acne scars. -"you should date guys who are super short, so they can only see your breasts, and not your face" -"By 109% on her Physics results, she means even her exams exceed the average BMI" -"Based on your circumference, I would estimate that you are at least 35 years old and filled with maple syrup" -Your onlyfans is free because you can’t count …… -"No wonder you're so good at physics, someone smacked you in the face with the ugly Planck's constant." -"this bitch is the lion, the witch and the wardrobe" -Spokesperson for *goth milk?* -"Your face says ""I'm ugly"" in Braille." -"As you are so good in physics, you should calculate your own gravity pull. Maybe that will lead to some much needed life changes..." -"This post is ponsored by scale manufacturer, promo code: 109MASSJUSTINMYASS" -Oh wow! It’s Phylis from “The Office” before she got hired. -You have 2 things going for you: obesity and diabetes -Is 18F the bra size? -"Similar to a magnet, some parts attract, and some parts don’t." -Home schooling results don't really count. -You look like an inflated Chapelle Roan! -Shut up Meg. -More like you got 109% of the menu in a Chilli's -Let me guess? Gay? Self diagnosed mental health disorders? Only reason you didn't go to art school was because it didn't piss daddy off as much as you thought it would? -10 pounds of cheese in a 5 pound bag. -# Your understanding of quantum field theory is as flawed as a Feynman diagram with a non-renormalizable vertex. -The only other thing you get more than 100% on is the number of calories you’re supposed to eat in a day to avoid getting fat as fuck. -Cute as a manatee....! -"She actually isn't wearing black, light can't escape." -"The number before ""F"" in your title is supposed to be your age, not tonnage." -"""Feeling super confident"". - - -You shouldn't." -You look like what trump supporters think all libs look like. -Oh god it stinks. -Has to factor in her own mass when calculating gravitational force answers… -It cracks me up when fat slobs focus on styling when the number one thing that will make you look better is not stuffing your fucking face -You look like Rosie the Riveter if rivets were pegging soy boys. -That pair looks like it blows out both your ACLs when you take off your bra -You definitely look like an expert in gravity. -I’m a psychic. Let me tell you your future. (Stares into crystal ball) You’re going to marry Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. -Piggi Lockstocking -The body of a bloated corpse -Your bra gets a 109% for effort. Never seen anything work so hard. -Ughh -Well of course you got such a high score on your physics exam you’re a prime example of mass moves mass -I love fat goth bitches -Anyone with their own gravitational pull is sure to be good at physics. -Did the Physics exam require eating? -You look like you pay for people to subscribe to your onlyfans -Mona Lisa really let herself go. -You’re a lonely Jamaican’s wet dream. -10/10 would bang once. 100/10 regret it later. -So much pizza it's growing on her face -"I hate to sound old, but how do 18 year olds get fat? Shes going to be 400lbs before long" -The most 40 year old looking 18 year old -Bull shit!! You at least 30 -The title says 18 but you look 45 -18 looking like your 30 wtf -I’d say your physics professor is trying to fuck you but I’m 109% sure he isn’t. -"Don't pay attention to negative comments, you are bigger than that." -Body positive but face negative -109%? It clearly wasn't a math exam -"Ah ugly with fat tits, just my type." -I don't really take prisoners but she kinda cute. We just need a proper size cell -18? It's that the new way of saying 35? -This isn’t even a roast. You’re 18. Get healthy before it’s too late. -"We all know Wednesday Adams, well, let me present to you her cousin: fat Tuesday" -You shouldn’t feel so confident being that fat. -I can smell the piss flaps from here -Good thing you know about physics because gravity hates you -I'm sure you didn't study for that exam -Sounds like you somehow defied physics? -You only have cleavage because you're overweight. Your dick is probably smaller though. -How did you “physically” get in that outfit -You also score 109% on your body fat test. -More like your hair died. -"Takes physics. Doesn't realize something can't actually be more than 99.999…% -Takes remedial physics." -Did you finally increase your orbital mass that much that your schwarzchild radius has been violated -"So we’re entirely clear, you look NOTHING like Maxine. Not even a little bit. You really need to understand that." -Show us those fat titties -How much are clothes in the Matrix? -"Your cardiologist called, you also got a 100% on your blocked artery exam." -"Feeling confident? Why even bother posting here, just look at your selfie should do all the humbling needed" -Hows your nose bigger than your mouth -18? You Look 35 hol shit -"For your brain to start working, need to connect battery to your nose piercing" -All the cleavage in the world can’t hide that face. -Holy fuck. You're the 40iest looking 18yr old ever. Wow. -109% on an exam. Oh when daddy gets back from getting the milk I’m sure he will be proud -You're 18 years old but look like you're 28. -Gonna need that physics degree just to calculate your gravitational pull. -"A bra, and overalls. Nice. Real nice. Bet you have an uncle-daddy" -"18? - -You look closer to 81." -of your fat -109 was your physics test score? You sure it wasnt a BMI test? -I feel super confident you are going to ruin someone’s life. -Let me guess you wrote a paper about your own gravational pull -I would rather let a Pitbull rip my dick off than have to make love to you -Black is figuratively slimming not physically. -Nice rack. -Which chapter in your physics book do you learn to stop eating? -Isn’t a physic some sorta enema ? Glad to know you passed with flying colors and them some. -"Awww you’re feeling super confident! - -You shouldn’t be." -Don’t -"Men, this is why you shouldn’t abandon your kids." -"FWB that you can call at 2 am and they will show up at your door at 2:30, let you hit it raw and nut up in em. nothings off limits and will indulge whatever you are into." -"Not gonna lie if i was drunk enough, put a paper bag over it and pretend it’s someone else i would definitely clap your cheeks" -"that wasn't a physics test, it was a BMI measurement" -I don’t have anything mean to say. Id be friends with you and I think it’s cool you did so well on your exam. 💃🏼 -I thought you were 40 -"Shut up, Meg" -Shaped like a condom full of marbles. -Was your physics exam on your gravitational pull? -I would have guessed 47 before I guessed 18 but at least you can buy beer with that look -You have a face on your fat -"Invent a time machine, go back 10 years and slap that fork out of your hand." -18? You look 18³ -All these fat jokes are so pedestrian when they could really be addressing the claim that you're only 18. A claim that I have to put about 3 tons of doubt on. -"I diagnosed you with polycystic ovary syndrome, acne, irregularities in your cycles, insulin resistance and hirsutism." -Feeling confident. Please show me more of your beautiful body -F these people you are pretty -109 KG -The perk to looking like this all you have to do is walk by the voting polls and they are gonna automatically mark you down as democrat  -Jesus fuck. If you’re really only 18 buckle the fuck up. Life is only gonna get worse looking like that -18?? my mother looks younger than you and she died in 2019 -I think you’re pretty but you look like you take too many meds to drive safely 🫶 -Your face looks like you were a goalie for a college dart team. -109% no dick for your birthday -Better be good at blowjobs -"You are a fatass and you look older than my mother who is 52. Words don’t even describe how ugly you are. Looking at you reminds me that I could’ve had it worse. How thankful I should be I wasn’t born as an 18 year old fat ugly bastard that looks older than 52. After everything I said, nothing compares to the fact that you have to go through your entire life looking like that." -I'd be confident too if I was able to titfuck my way to good grades. -Your teacher gave you 109% so you would not try to bribe him -"Read this really quick and thought you said Physical Exam... \*\*phew\*\* yeah, Physics... might want to brush up on the law of attraction because I find you repulsive..." -Didn’t you have enough dye to do something with that face? -A black hole that understands physics. Adds up to me. -If Debbie Gallagher and Svetlana had a baby -"What colour was your hair before to dyed it, grey?" -Looks like something out of a dog food commercial -How many satellites in your orbit? -109% force of gravity -"That's a nice human costume, sir! Can't even see the zjpper" -You look like the girl from hunger games if she ate all her opponents. -You wish you were 18. -Brunhilda the agrarian peasant in 2024. The arms of an agrarian peasant have become the arms of a career OTR truck driver. Welcome to the 21st century. -The unfuckables. -Post easy to get 109 with that body. The teacher must've been distracted and gave you extra points. -"You have your own gravitational pull, stop eating the satellites in your orbit. - -Hawking radiation can’t escape your black hole" -Your space/time/gravity equations aren't working out according to your mirror. -Physics... you would know... since you have the entire universe revolving around your gravitational pull... -109% of what? Is the 9% extra because you didn't fit their mold? -18 ? Sorry for you -Yikes -A cannibal village could survive off ur meat for a whole month. -I see the mystery of Tabbi's Star has been solved. The celestial body blocking it's wasn't a Dyson's Sphere. It was YOU. -Not even those tits can save the wreck that is your face -You only got %109 because you have your own gravitational pull -Now I'm no mathematician but I do know the 109% isn't a thing. -"Clock froze at 18, just like her maternal instincts. Dumping 18 foetuses like yesterday’s leftovers—impressive level of detachment. Almost inspiring." -"My phone won't load the images, says i need more RAM" -"Only 109%? You definitely have more ""physic"" than that." -You're probably so good at physics... because you have to defy it every time you put on a pair of jeans. -Nah no way is she 18 legit looks about 34 to me -Are you and Kermit the Frog still an item? -keep studying youre gonna need to support yourself -"You’re in a bit of a tricky situation. If you lost weight, you’d lose your only asset." -18??? You mean dog years? -Shame it wasn't a 109% workout at a physical exam. -Your understanding of physics must help you decide which outfits will contain all of you -She can calculate the 3 body problem all by herself.. -Your chest is doing all the work for you honey 🤷‍♀️ -You look like you already had your midlife crisis divorce and are prowling around for young college guys. -There’s someone for everyone. Except you. 😬 -Mix in a salad -My god girl i bet your splash attack does damage -You got a 109% on physics but a negative 1000% on your physical education and nutrition exam -The edgiest customer at Cici’s pizza -You already at highest baked level from everywhere. -I bet your hair died willingly. You’re also confusing 109% with your weight in kilograms. -"In your case, weight equals mass times gravy." -"You actually paid money to have your hair dyed a flat, dull, uninspiring mouse brown? -You also need to go on a diet." -Stevie Micks-a d’s -Your BMI score is not a Physics exam score -Something about you. screams std's -18? Only if you’re counting in base 37. -"I just woke up, and my day is already ruined." -You don't look a day over 40 -109% body fat you meant? -"If we roasted you, the village could feast for a month" -Can’t be a v serious class if u got a 109 -"From first glance, 109% bipolar more like." -"Probably bad at relationships, you can find the position but not get the momentum." -I’m sure you’re feeling super confident that you can find another all-you-can-eat buffet in an hour. -How much confidence did you have to eat this morning? -I have fucked women over 40 who look younger than you. -Just start your cat collection now! -So then you know your tits are accelerating downwards at a rate of 9.8 m/s/s -You sure that was your score on the physics test and not your BMI? -"You might of passed physics, but failed your physical" -"At first I thought those are some big tiddys, then I realized it’s because everything else was big too." -You look like one of the girls from shameless ate the other girl from shameless -She definitely farts into jars and sells them online. -Where is your belly? -Proud of you. -Your body has its own gravitational pull (orbit). -"Intelligence is very sexy and can make up for a lot of other deficiencies. - -That’s not the case here." -"You defied the laws of physics by wearing black and not looking slimmer. - -Does that explain the exam result?" -I’m confident you’ll finish that entire cake by yourself. -I thought that said physical exam! Physics makes more sense. -You look like a 10 when you're walking. As in 10.0 on the Richter scale. -These aren't the worst transition photos I've seen on here. But I still wouldn't say you're passable. Maybe if I were drunk and you dim the lights. Try posting darker pics. -Feeling super confident for the all you can eat buffet later or what? Cause I know it’s not your apperance that you feel confident about. -18 years old or 18 years since you ate a salad? -You’d go from a 3 to a 5 if you put a bag over your head. -18? Gurl bye -You know that you don't have to pick an ugly style just because you're ugly -The symbol of the unit is Kg not % -You’re testing the laws of physics just by existing. -Eating your way through life… I’m sure you’re full of personality too. -Oh look another sow.. -Posting here was a huge mistake -Yes you're 18 and turning 40 next week. I know 6overweight people and you're 4 of them. By the time u turn 19 you'll be all 6 of them. Congratulations In your new weight. -"Jesus Christ that's a rough 18. Just like whoever marked your physics exam doesn't understand the concept of percentages, I am 109% sure I would never like to look at you ever again." -I see you like physics so much that you chose to become a physical blob yourself -"If you’re so confident, why did you post your mom’s photo instead of your own." -Yeah forget the hair and the physics. Walks and eat correct. -"I remember how my cousin would tell me, ""she's really pretty in the face"" when she would try to hook me up with her fatass friend. She couldn't say that in your case." -Your physics professor probably uses you as an example to calculate buoyancy . -Well at least you have some intelligence. -At least you got intelligence going for you. -"Looking back at your photos from 11 months ago, I can really appreciate the commitment you've made for your *Fat Bitch* halloween costume this year." -Mc Donald’s side affect in one person :( -You are way more than 109% of a standard human -109% on physics. but yet you get zero physical love IRL -I didn’t know hot topics carried size 20+ -"Usually when someone brags about a test score, its to their parents. The fact you're posting here must mean mom left, too. Damn, the 2-for-1 special. That's rare." -You sure you didn't score 109% on a body fat test? -"After all the prostitution and hard drugs, I still seem to have some sympathy for Ms. Piggy." -Why did you eat Chappell Roan?! -You look like that fat old chick from the office -tits and cleavage won't do the job of a healthy diet and exercise. -You look like you ate Chappel Roan to become her -"Your sir loves you and your twos, doesn't he?" -With your weight and mass I would assume physics is a constant battle for you. -"3 most important things u need for a successful relationship: honesty, communication, and darkness" -comment -A real life Picasso. -I think your posture is just bad from carrying around the giant balls it took to post here all day. -What we have here is a fruit transitioning to a vegetable. -Did a child draw you? -I’ve never seen someone who can do the twist standing still -You looking Special Olympics Popeye -Your arm looks like a sine wave -MS? It looks like you were drawn with MS Paint. -Try jerking off with the other arm you animal. -You look petty normal from the forehead up. -You should be hanging upside down in a Chinese restaurant window. -"Before I roast, I want to say first that I admire you and this post. - -That being said, you look like a typical 52 year old checking into a halfway house." -If Ted Kazinsky mailed packages to himself. -You look like a Tetris block -Stephen Hawkain’t -found my golf ball in the unlikeliest of places -I think you might be doing bicep curls wrong. -"You’re skinny where you’re supposed to be thick and thick where you’re supposed to be skinny. - -Not dad bod, more grinch bod" -Thank you for your multiple services -You're perpetually stuck in The House of Mirrors. -"Not my proudest boner, but there you go." -You look like that men in black alien is wearing your skin -"I refuse… and it sounds as your friends love you for the man you are, not what MS has done to your body." -Thats a nice cashmere sweater you’re wearing. -It looks like you voluntarily get sucked into lathes -Bro’s bicep looking like a skateboard ramp -"I can’t roast a disabled vet. Besides, I don’t need him coming after me. I mean look at those crazy eyes." -You look like somebody paused a Popeye cartoon in the middle of his spinach transformation -"You look like a 52 year old disabled veteran with multiple sclerosis, who also happens to be an author and a father." -"\> voice in the fight against multiple sclerosis - -My man. You already lost." -Spent a little too long near the burn pits -I think your body is roasting you better than I ever could. -What’s it like knowing you peaked at the last Cake concert? -I think your shorts also have MS. Crooked as F -You look like a 6 year old drew you -You look like a Picasso painting of Dr. House. -"It's only fair to treat you the same as everyone else my friend. - -You look like fusilli Jerry" -"Damn, Stephen hawkin can even get laid, not you though!" -Jeremy needs ironed -"Ugh, I can’t…. I just can’t. Life is roasting him daily, why does he need human bullshit on top? Not sure why he is here?? 😳🥴🫢🫥" -Okay Dr. House we get it. -You look amazing dude… your friends are being honest! Good luck moving forward.. -THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE -Still looks better than me and I’m 51. -"Thank you for your service sir, doing great in my pov" -"Dude, I can't roast a disabled veteran TBH. I can say thank you for your service tho." -"Nope. As a fellow disa led vet youre not getting roasted from me. Your body is beautiful and you are still with us which is a blessing. Best of luck, friend." -"Inspiring! - -You CAN get the body you've always dreamed of! - -Providing you take like.... 10 to 12 Benadryl before you go to bed." -I hereby decline -"Jesus Christ I hope whatever’s going on in your trunks is just some weird MS related shit and not some god almighty, world-ending schlong.." -Can't do it. Thanks for your service and keep fighting amigo! -I refuse to roast you. You're a legend going through all that. Have a nice day -Young Jerry Stiller -"This is what generates when you type ""angry dadbod"" into Midjourney" -Ricky Berwicks Dad? -"Torso of Elon Musk, arms of Steve Jobs" -you look like you were drawn in MS Paint -I have MS. I know that shit already roasted you more than Reddit ever could. -"Your upper torso is a topographical map of Fucked Up Valley Nevada. - -Circus mirrors reflect you “normal”. - -Dude……I’m trying but I just can’t……said your immune system this morning! - -Thank you for your service. For fighting the good fight and hopefully never losing your sense of humor!" -MDA is a bitch and good on you for keeping a good sense of humor about it. If it is any consolation I bet you looked like a dipshit long before the disease. -"You know what I see? I see a man in battle. I see a man that’s obviously in a fight for his livelihood and has taken a few blows. And you come on here and show those blows. Pardon me if this isn’t cool to say anymore, but that shows you’re a full grown ass man. - -MS is a bitch. It’s a daily fight. And you’re fighting it. You’re not to be roasted; you’re to be admired. - -Keep fighting. Good luck my friend." -"Nah dude... You Sir, are a fucking champion." -"First of all thank you for your service. - -Second of all I'm not gonna roast a veteran." -son's torso looking like bowser's head -For 25 years of MS...you look amazing... -I can’t even do it. God bless you -Bro built like a hiccup -Terabytes -you have a hairy chest with a butt under it -"Christ, did you try out for the Guinness book of world records for the world record hardest wank and tear your bicep?" -You look like the scary neighbor from home alone who turns out to be nice -"That bicep's looking really cute, Mr. Vegetable 😜" -In your friend’s defence you did meet them at a meeting for Foundation for the blind -…I..can’t. -We have If Chicken little fucked his life up with alcoholism -"I almost don’t want to roast you, it’s a veteran respect thing. But then I saw it. - -Why you got those crazy Ted Kaczynski eyes? What is thine Manifesto, dear author? “How to become both Popeye and Bluto in the ultimate search for Olive Oil”? - -Truthfully, you look good despite all that you’ve been dealt. MS ain’t a fucking joke, but you seem to still take it in stride. That’s where that Vet comes in, Honor, Courage, Bravery. Thank you for your service and for being a voice for the voiceless." -"My grandma died from MS, will not roast" -Glad to see the families of the Chernobyl incident suffered no serious side effects! -Looks like God already roasted you. -A melted white chocolate KitKat = you -What we have here is an organism the copies other organisms and it copies them perfectly...we just got to it before it could finish. -Swalloed a Christmas turkey whole dat fella 😂😂🦃 -You look like a child's drawing brought to life. -This is the before picture for everything. -You look like if Stretch Armstrong and Mrs Potato Head had a baby -Discount Dr House ! -Are you the Special Olympics Parsnips Supreme aka special ops? -"Holy fuck dude… roast you hell… - -Fucking Toast you for even being able to stand up." -"It's like someone crumpled you up, threw you away, then remembered that they had to turn you in for homework assignment." -"Honestly, you still look tough as fuck man." -"No, Sir. I will not indulge in roasting towards someone who is all the above. No, you are a hero and deserve peace of mind. Keep fighting the good fight, fellow veteran." -"Bros got that cartoon bicep - -Edit: thank you for your service. I know a lot of vets and y’all never cease to amaze me. Thank you." -"No roast, my friend. You're a survivor, rock that shit!" -"Bro you look like a Gumby toy, but you're still a badass." -"Veteran, I refuse to roast. Thank you for your service sir." -"Each of us has our own battles in life. No matter how difficult it could be, keep moving forward. Thank you for your service." -You'd be better off with just one sclerosis. -"Your looks are irrelevant, you have a life to be proud of. Sign off Reddit and go live it," -"You’ve got a popeye bicep ❤️ - -Edit: Oops I forgot what sub this was. Pretend that is a roast." -Who is looking at your muscles when you have that delicious hairy chest? 😘 -Can’t do it. Thank you for your service Sir! -A one man human centipede -I’m liking this new Mr.Fantastic -"I'm sorry bro, but, you look like 3 2x3 Lego bricks stacked on top of eachother for a torso." -Lumpier than a hotel pillow -My taxes got stuck in the onecep. -james bent- 007 -"His bicep and stomach are the same shape, all the muscle moved down his right leg. Congratulations sir!! 👏🏼👏🏼" -Amazing for having MS -"I have also an form of MS, i have PPMS. -How you're coping this fucking disease?" -You look like the Temu version of Hugh Laurie -I would be crazy and roast you but I know how bad Ms is cause I have it to that's painful enough -you look like one of those magician boxes where they stick the swords in and move the boxes around.... -"Kevin, as a child of a father similar to your story, I would never be able to roast you. You fight for your kids daily, and you fought for our freedom for many years and came home with injuries that made you different than when you went in. I am sure it not only affected you physically, but the world was cruel to our vets, and that is worse than any roast. Now, you fight against a silent disease of MS. It slowly takes your body, your mind, and soon your life. No, sir, a roast is not what you need. You need a hand shake, a salute, a thank you, and mostly a hug to say, no matter what life has given you, you continue to take it. Your body and mental health show it. I commend you. Now, stop playing squidward and take that costume off. Before, SpongeBob finds you up out of the water. 😆 ❤️" -Stewen Hawkings 2.0 -"On the bright side, you could play Elon musks body double." -You look like a badly shaven nutsack filled with marbles. -Go go gadget testicle bicep! -"By any chance, were you walking around a mall in Miami a couple of days ago?" -Christian Bales body double for The Machinist -Man I can’t bring myself to roast you. I’d rather BBQ those little chicken wings instead. -"Sending you prayers, I was diagnosed in 2010 and seemed to go down hill quickly. In six years I could no longer work and had real problems with balance and joint pain. Brain fog was really bad sometimes. I took rebif and had a lot of problems and had to quit. I have been on techfadera (not spelled right) for a few years and have several side effects. I felt lost and decided to quit my meds due to side effects. Our care provider introduced me to Ayurvedic treatment. I had a total decline of all symptoms including vision problems, numbness and others. Sometimes, i totally forget i ever had MS. Visit Natural Herbs Centre web-site naturalherbscentre. com. I am very pleased with this treatment. I eat well, sleep well and exercise regularly. God bless all MS Warriors" -Thank you for your service. -Get new friends. Don't hang out with people that lie to your face. -Wolverine on crack -The Mummy Returns -"Mums hold kids hand tighter when they pass you, don't they?" -"You look like they said your MS has nothing to do with that agent Orange you worked with, or those Gulf War burn pits, and you just said “Ok sir”" -He's shaped like a accordion -Why is there a Golf Ball in your arm? -God was high on meth for 5 days straight when He made you -The taliban should have finished you off.! -"I have MS, so I know the difference between MS and anorexia... you're not fooling us." -Steamboat Willie is going to play your ribs like a xylophone -Elephant man early stage photo. -ok boomer -Got the face of a ceo got the body of a flood exploder -Change your story to “survived a shark attack”. -ark survival evolved character -Is that Wagner? -Looks like an alien is about to burst out of you at any second -Bro got that cartoony ass muscle hump on his right arm -"Strange choices were made in this version. Elon musks' torso... Bob dole's bad arm... Manson's crazy eyes... Popeyes bicep. Would keep workshopping in. - -Thank you for your service." -When you stop taking steroids after 20 years of being on the gear -Your arm looks like Popeye before his spinach -"If they ever need a stunt double for bugs bunny, you'll be perfect" -Popeye before the spinach. -Apparently MS also causes RBF. -Hughe Laurie from Wish. -At least you can straighten out your shorts! Dudes not even trying -You have a Monkey Scrotum? -your torso reminds me of bread rolls -This guy got his torso from Wish.com. -This is how your average West Ham supporter looks like. -You look like you were made during the movie ghost by demi moore and patrick swayze -those stick figures we use to draw in art class -You look like a piece of gum that’s been chewed up and spat out on a barbershop floor where you rolled about for a while collecting hair… -Those breast implants are way too low -Dude looked in a fun house mirror and just stayed that way -You have an extraordinarily long trouser parcel sir -You look like you scavenge your body parts like some sort of sci fi movie plot .. ( honestly you look good g keep up the fight ! ) -"You look like if you gave me 10 minutes I could make you on Ark: Survival Evolved - -https://www.reddit.com/r/GamePhysics/s/LXAC6YX6EZ" -Built like a deep breath -Dr Apartment -Your torso looks like Lord Voldemort. -"We found some of your deceased relatives in a few tombs in Nazca, Peru." -bro is built like an abnormal titan -I can’t roast you -Author you say? Did you write The Hunchback of Notre-Dame? -Timmy from South Park as a grown up. -Thank you for your service. -"Judging from your body, I'll bet your dick looks like a boomerang." -You look like you light fireworks just to feel something again -Straight out of a toddler's drawing -You look like a freeze frame from a slo-mo ballistic vid -"All I see is 150lbs of total baddass! -I gots new hero goals!" -Thank you for your service. -That arms looks like Popeye’s before he eats his spinach. -"When it sucks the hell out of you, literally" -(I’m shit at this game)Your face says worrier but your body says warrior. Much love my dude x -Is this the pose that you'd do whenever your kids friends came over? -Its mr. bisected bicep -Dude that's the best bicep definition I've ever seen. 💪 -You look like you swallowed a mini fridge. -"Your torso looks like the face of a creature from old monster movies. - -Ps. Keep going in the fight 💪🏻" -It’s like a Picasso painting grew legs -"That's not a bicep, that's a unicep" -Try carnivore diet - the lion diet. -When you take apart your action figures and put them back together using different parts. -This is really testing my moral compass -Flex Pram-Wheeler -The guys a legend!! Can’t be done! -Those distortion mirrors are insane these days or is that a new Snapchat filter? -We cant he will peg -Your face -you look constapated. But seriously what books gave you written -You look like the stick figure on warning signs for moving machine parts -Well. Um. I see where Picasso got his inspiration from. -Man looks like he's doing the stanky leg trying to put on his shoes. -"Looks like your torso is permanently in the middle of a pop n lock. - -On a serious note, thank you for your service, sir. I can't even imagine the constant pain this disease causes." -Q... Quaid... -"I have no roast for this, but kudos to you for having a great sense of humor." -dude looks like Dr Strange if they were talking about his body and not his powers - Chronnoisseur -Eat more spinach. -this was after he got all those TPS reports - Tinker Terrible -"If you had been in John Carpenters The Thing, the movie wouldn't have been so suspenseful." -Looks like Popeye only took a small bite of spinach -I bet you write self help books. -Your bicep looks like an Adam’s apple -"They're right, you do look great... if you were made entirely out of pipe cleaners." -"Have you been to the ER recently? If not, consider it." -Got that dope bicep peak though. Lotta body builders strive for that. -I feel like im going to hell for this -You read about Agent Orange and signed up to be a Specialist. Thank you for your service. -You must be an intolerable asshole because even your body is growing away from you lol -"thank you for your service, your an eternal spiritual being on a temporary journey in a temporary shell, everyone ages." -"He got that little egg muscle like in the cartoons 😂 -💪🥚" -Bro needs more spinach. -A well a you have a really nice bracelet. -As someone who also has MS your photo makes me want to end it early. Not because of MS and my potential future but because of your face. -Uncontacted tribes look at cameras with a more welcoming face. -You look like John Glover with an alien chestburster about to pop -"It looks like you swallowed a whole Playstation, and it got stuck in your stomach" -You need to get some sunshine on that flesh. You aren't rocking the trucker tan! -"Um, sir, your chest is giving birth to a baby–" -"Roasting aside, what filter is this? The effect is pretty cool haha" -It bothers me one of your nipples is hairy and one isn’t -Can’t do it. You’re stronger than I’ll ever be. Nothing but love -You got them Popeye muscles -Bet you were featured on Ancient Aliens. -You look like you just lost Wilson -You need Spinach -Got that majestic bead of hair from my chest pubes down to my ball fro…. -"Author? I guess what they say about monkeys and typewritters is true, after all." - Bradly cooper on crack -Ted kaczynski head ass -You look like a bag of potatoes that has been forgotten about for 3 months. -Your chest looks like a car dashboard after the airbag inflates -"My dude, have you just eaten some spinach?" -"You've met the hunchback of notre dame, now meet the hunchfront." -Thank you for your service. -Corporal Crazy-eyes Collins -"I also have MS (37 F) and got some jokes about it, but they're a little shaky. But you normies making fun of a neurological disease? You people have some nerve!" -pls donate sperm an blood -I can't roast you. In your case that's too mean. I'm surprised you're asking this. -You look like a cartoon character taking a deep breath -His body looks so miss proportioned to the point that he looks like an AI generated picture. -smash -"MS? Does that stand for Man Swirl? If so, you nailed it! Thank you for your service." -Flexing like a weak cartoon character -My uncle recently died and had MS. I won't entertain this. -Disney Animators did a better job hiding phallic shapes than you’ve done hiding the dick in place of your bicep. -He's built like a bad break dancing accident -The real life veggietale. -Nice to see you've got a wankers forearm though. -You look great man! -You look like someone drew Gumby as a human -I'm sure it was easy not to ask but how did you resist telling for all those years ? -You look like a clear condom stuffed full of broken walnuts. -"Private Derpy - -Thank you for your service!" -That can of spinach did your bicep dirty -My boy here looks like Luffy from One Piece tried to go second gear and the pumping blood got halted under the man titties -I think you can now qualify in the 'Special Forces' if you so wished. 🫡 -You look like someone took all the stuffing out of a stretch Armstrong -"Stonewall- nah, wheelchair jackson." -Dude’s built like a Picasso draft. -"Your are is like Popeye before spinach with that little bump! For real though, you look pretty good for having ms." -"Not gonna roast you, Brother. Vet here too. -Thank you for serving, even if it was the Space Force ... - -Ok I lied..." -When is the release of unabomber manifesto vol.2? -If you didn’t disclose your ms I would swear you swallowed a tire -He’s got those pop eye before the can of spinach muscles. -You look like Bradley Cooper’s Psychological trauma if it manifested a physical form -Did you take that picture with your strong hand? -"You look like Legal Eagle combatting a savage crack addiction. Stay strong, brother! ✊️" -"It would be twisted of me to roast you, a Veteran with MS. Thank you for your service." -Your body looks like a melting candle -"All I’m going to say is Popeye…. - -But thank you for your service… - -I take it your balls haven’t been blown off… - -Because that takes some… - -Respect to you 😊" -"Thank you for your service. - -Not the military, I mean making us all feel better about the way we look. - -But seriously, you're a brave dude. Much respect." -That bicep needs its own zip code. -You look like a resident evil zombie -Keep fighting soldier🫡 -Keep fighting soldier🫡 -MS? I thought it was from multiple surgeries due to war -"Lieutenant Dan nahhh this the Walmart version. This Lieutenant Dave or some shit -I'm actually really sorry that's fucked up" -"MS pain, more like drawn on MS paint." -Uh. Your right arm bicep. Have you been in space and perhaps know anyone named Ripley? -Semper Gumby in physical form. -You built like a chewed up piece of gum -"Sir, there is a golf ball in your arm." -comment -Dude she was cheating on her husband with you! How do you think that makes him feel? -Make sure the next woman you stalk is single beforehand -You mean some girl you chased online until she said she has a husband to make your sorry ass leave her alone? -Her husband is a better warhammer painter than you -You look like someone who names their cat “Garfield” -"Don't worry, women love overweight sad sacks who collect Warhammer 40K shit. - -You're basically waddling panty remover now. - -Edit: forgot to add /s" -She described your dick and he decided it didn't count as cheating. -Did she know she was your girlfriend? -Wall Street bets is leaking. -"It is weird. You actually look like a man whose wife has a boyfriend, not the other way around" -"It's odd you have an imaginary girlfriend and even in imagination land, she has a boyfriend or husband..." -I think you want the Virgin fan fiction page. This is r/roastme. -"On the bright side, you found out your dad is still alive. " -I thought women cheat up? -"Hey how do you think he feels, his wife committed beastiality with an orangutan" -Did you find out before or after the restraining order? -Have you ever wondered how much of her husband's DNA is now in your beard? -"Don’t lie, you haven’t assembled her yet, she’s still on the bench behind you." -"Yeah, his name is Brutus. The only male goat at the petting zoo. You’ve been banned from the petting zoo indefinitely for good reason. Sheila the female goat doesn’t want to see you anymore. -Owner of the Petting Zoo" -That's quite the pile of shame. And I'm not talking about the unpainted warhammer. -Liam Obeseon -"Look on the bright side, now you and the husband can split her food bill. Teamwork makes the dream work" -Your hand has a husband? -You have three hairlines -Her husband must be Gollum for her to want to cheat on him with you. -"I can't believe your girlfriend has a pulse, let alone a husband.. - - - -Hope that made you smile bro... ....fuck that bitch" -At least you still have your toys -"That’s her dad, dummy. She’s 9." -Nice taste in calenders pussy. Maybe that's how you finally got some. You are what you eat leftovers. -"You could get a real relationship if you based your fucking minis. Tell me you don’t follow through, without telling me you don’t follow through." -Oh man I can only imagine what sort of barn animal that woman is 😂😅 -Subscriptions aren’t relationships big guy -Her husband is your father. -Aren't side-pieces supposed to be....you know....worth it? -Looks like your hair left for another head too -I’d rather be you than the husband -"To:Lardass - -just because she’s chatting with you on Onlyfans doesn’t mean she’s your girlfriend. Get a treadmill you sack of lard." -You were her cleanup dude. -"All roasts aside, make sure her husband knows since he doesn't deserve that." -"One day you'll go full circle, and your future wife will tell her bf that she has a husband. - -Either that, or you'll go full circle from sitting in that gaming chair." -You better read the terms and conditions before stealing her husband. -You look like the anal-birthed love child of John Leguizamo and Ricky Gervais that aged like Brendan Frazier. -Ask yourself how she'd feel about it. She had a terrible plan B which was doomed to fail but she couldn't find a better one... -... I feel sorry for the husband more -I see this is a valid time to move onto MEN 😌 -"Well, take what you can get and don't be picky." -Who would have thought a blow-up doll would have a husband? -"Sir, if your “relationship” with this so-called married “girlfriend” of yours was as “convincing” as the comb over you’ve got going on, I’m sure you could see through the “indiscretions.”" -Wait till she finds out you have a boyfriend. -"Lol, he just found out Barbie has Ken." -Your blood offends Khorne -"Don’t worry, your cholesterol levels will still fuck you." -"Geez, her husband must have a face like bucket of arse holes if she thought you were an upgrade." -Makes you wonder if he creampied her before you ate her doesn’t it?! -Your charisma is a 6. -But you look like a balding husband yourself -Your ugly fat and in a gaming chair. We all know how this went down. You were scammed out of money by married women way out of your league. You were a dumbass for falling for it. No need to roast you cause reality already did! -"I don't care to kick a man while he's down. But hey, at least you'll have more money to buy cool Mini/Models, and more time to paint them. - -Are those Warhammer 40k?" -Liar... you don't have a girlfriend. -"""do you have a husband? "" sounds like a first date kind of question." -"Damn, a whatsapp scam got you good." -I’m sure your right hand will forgive you as long as you don’t make it wear the wig again -"So you're telling me you found out your roommate had been fucking your blow up doll? Don't worry bro, you'll meet a nice plastic girl again some day." -sounds like your girlfriends problem not yours -Did you eat her? -You must have more hair. How can it worse than the pegging -Are you going to tell her husband? You need to diet 🏋🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♂️🚴🏻‍♂️ -Hey you could look like George Zimmerman -"You were her trophy boyfriend. Participation trophy, that is." -No woman can resist 2002 Tooth and Nail pop punk as a soundtrack to 3 minutes of sweaty love making -"So she was sick of her husband, went to you and ran back to her shitty husband?" -"My friend, she is not your anything. Mentally separate her from you. Go for a long walk. Call your parents. Just chill. Sorry this sucks and it’s not fair but it’s not you. Do you have a video game you’ve been thinking about getting into? Drink less sugar, you’re kind of unhealthy." -Left hand finally figured out what you’re doing with right hand huh? -Is that a necron army behind you? -Now you can say you banged a married woman -"I know, dude; she goes to another school." -Nah she just wanted out after she saw your 40k collection. In all seriousness sorry man that’s rough. -Girlfriend. Riiiiiggght -At least you finally lost your virginity… or was she just looking to boost her ego with a guy who busts before penetrating? -Holy shit if you’re the affair just imagine what the husband looks like -Just found out someone's wife is my girlfriend* -Who puts unpainted minis in a display cabinet? -*You* have a girlfriend? -"lol “girlfriend”. - -So cute of you to name your pillow." -This doesn't seem to be a problem unless you gave her your real name. dummy -Your imaginary girlfriend is married? -So your girlfriend had a husband and she was with you? Does this mean she's hmmm bisexual? -Hairiest side chick ever. -Did she tell you that you've been paying their mortgage also? -"Imagine the amount of dried cum on the front of that gaming chair. Seriously. It’s gotta be measured in ounces, not grams." -Better than finding out she has a dick… tho you look like you may be into that kind of thing?! -The husband knew and had a shame kink. Later they would sit together making fun of all your geeky shit and then watch the secret videos she took critiquing your form and stamina. -Let's be honest the chances that you have a girlfriend are about as good as the chances that your hairline holds up -Damn. First your hair leaves you and now your girlfriend. -Being the side piece was the highlight of your life. -"She doesn’t have a husband, she just said that so you would leave her alone" -Ask if they offer returns for the Philipinas that you ordered online -"Your anime sex pillow doesn't count as a ""girlfriend""" -She seems happy. You are the guy that convinces women to not get divorced. -"Fuck you, that guys the one I feel sorry for, did he at least find out" -Brother nim no my bad let my correct ex side piece working out isn't too hard ya know I mean you recognize the brand pepper than start chasing random women on the street(or be gay) that should help. -Did she know she was your girlfriend? -This is how you turn gay -"Dude, are you stupid? Just keep railing her!" -Look at the bright side im sure his dick is bigger and I’m certain he’s better looking. -And he’s gay… -Even your imaginary girlfriend lied to you! -Bro took “anything after 12 is dinner” way too seriously -Was she hoping you'd eat him and take his place? -Nice chair… what are you? 12 years old? -Bro’s so destined to be a home wrecker he’s shaped like a wrecking ball -Seeing a pattern with these reddit mods -"I swear I’ve seen an apology video from you before? One about some alleged private messages in a Roblox or Minecraft discord server? If not then I’m sure yours will be coming out soon -/s" -Everyone has a pet project! -Dude is so dumb that he might be the husband. -you're now the second wife -Did you tell them to move out of your house yet? -How ugly is her husband that she saw it fit to cheat on him with an uggo like you!? -I cant disrespect anyone possessing a doom scythe. Shes expendable bio-matter. Find another meathole. -This wouldn't have happened if you played BattleTech -"Is that an imperial knight in the background? Holy shit, people actually buy those?" -……did she know she was your girlfriend? Or was she your real girlfriend in the way that Dr. Phil is a real Doctor? -"It happened to me, you're not alone brother. Don't expect that bitch to ever be content or experience real happiness... she is stuck in the hell she created for herself" -Your girlfriend was the husband -At least she hasn’t found out about your wife! -"Y'all aint the side piece, y'alls the side whole..." -"You spending 10k on an OnlyFans girl doesnt make her your ""girlfriend""" -"He’s called your Dad, and your mom isn’t your girlfriend." -Goddamn. Imagine what the husband looks like if you’re the upgrade. -"You play necrons, I'm surprised you even get any at all" -I mean does it hurt as much as when the planet broke before the guard did? -Imagine your wife cheating on you and it’s with just this guy -That’s a huge pile of shame and I don’t mean the Necrons -Imagine being her husband -"Wanking over women’s instagram stories doesn’t make them your girlfriend, just so you know for next time." -Imagine how hurt her husband feels that his wife cheated on him with a simp like you. -"Sorry she did that, you look like a great person. I can’t roast you, people get busy and or bored, too many reasons to give but you look like you deserve more better than that" -"Don't worry, you'll be safe. But a comedian who cracks a tame joke about her is going to get the shit slapped out of him!" -"I refuse to roast you, especially after that. Her I would roast." -I'm not going to roast you. Do a good deed and tell him how much of an asshole she is. -"The good news is, that 400lbs woman was your cousin. Her ""husband"" is actually another one of your kinfolk." -"Sorry to hear that. Hey, at least you’re immortal given that you have no life. So you can spend the rest of eternity in solitude and anger." -You aren't single like you aren't going bald. -That' s OK. You are not doing anything with her anyway. -"To be fair I don't think OnlyFans require disclosure -Best payback would be to delete your account.." -It’s cause you play Necrons bro 🧐 -"$5000 worth of plastic on the shelf behind him, and this guy's complaining about his life..." -You need to lose weight big time -Hey sorry the same thing happened to me -Holy shit it’s cartman at 40. Probably still lives at home. I mean that half assed attempt at a combover says mommy helped me. That and just look at the display case in the background it’s screaming mom’s house. -That's what happens when you remove the gag from your victim. -This is what happens to Zelensky if Ukraine loses the war. -It must hurt even more when you realized that meant your sister never invited you to the wedding. -She cheated on her husband with a lesser man? That’s backwards. -She was cheating with YOU? She must have been desperate -Just because she smiled at your doesn’t mean she was your girlfriend dude -like your shirt says forever. its not forever with a cheating woman. at least you have more time to settle into singleness and more hobbys -You have the dad bod. -Damn man... you good though? Jokes aside that sucks -Keep her -"Well, it could be worse. She could have left her husband for you." -"I'm confused, you look like the sad, nerdy husband that's supposed to get cheated on?" -Don’t worry pal - you aren’t alone. Women are the most vindictive and dishonest creatures on the planet -You're not the first trans to get dropped -You honestly thought you had a chance? You must still get the feels from Disney movies and rom-coms. -Still better than finding out she has a penis! -"It could be worse; at least, you still have a home with your mom." -"You still have a ""girlfriend"" and not an ""Ex-girlfriend"". Don't be a greedy dickhead." -"Just like with your little toys, I think you're just making up stories. SMH" -Any chance he would let you get him from a sneak from behind position “with consent”. To even the score. -Damn. Let me get to a pokecenter and get you a burn heal. -Now this a whole new level of friendzoning. -Congratulations -Yeeaaahhhhh…. No she doesn’t. -tight. less work for you -She just told you that to get out. -Bro falls into Buy one get one free scheme -It’s best that y’all just stay siblings. -She only used you for IT support bro... just move on -"Well, if they decide they want a threesome and invite you over, then she and him want to both peg you..." -"Go ahead and blow him, be his bitch also" -"Look on the bright side. If she’s cheating on him with you, odds are you’ve got the bigger dick." -Ye I wonder why -"Your poor brother in law, has your sister told him?" -Your hair is leaving you too. -"Bruh why are you wasting your time with 40k? You know fantasy is back right? Shit if I was a girl I’d probably lie to you too, you’re obviously a sucker for punishment." -You should have known your mom had a husband. He's your dad after all... -I'm sorry your waifu did not remain single and a virgin for the entirety of the anime's runtime. -Stop banging your brothers cousin bro!! -"Guys stop this. He deserves better dont roast him to make it worse. I dont care is this is all for content, bro his girlfriend literally had a husband let's make him feel better!" -The candy and naps theme don't go well -You look like pre-caseo -You’re my wife’s boyfriend from all the memes! -Just because you watch her on stream and you paid her to stand on you in costume at Comicon doesn't mean she was your girlfriend -"I know you want to be roasted, but I just can't. I'm sorry for the pain you must be feeling. But hey, look at the up side of things. By the looks of it it'll take at least a couple of years before you hairline fully recedes. You got to look at the positives my man!" -You look like Jixaw... but that is a very high complement in the Dutch-\*metal\_pipe.mp3\* -Unlikely you’ll ever feel happy again -"No - -Sorry for what you're going through" -Ok let’s go for the throat. Not even your power armor in the background can save you from your zero luck stat. -No. You will power through this bro. I know you will. -Accidental NTR for a vanilla lover. -Was she Borg or Klingon? -"You could be, i don’t know, her husband? Compare the two from an outside perspective of which one would sting worse." -Hubby might make it worse for you for sure -You were literally second fiddle. -like my dad always says “STOP IM NOT YOR DAD KID IM TRYING TO KIDNAP YOU“ -"After seeing what’s in the background either there was no girlfriend, or she made up a husband when she saw it." -That’s not all she has… or had. -Did your girlfriend tell you the news before or after she saw your glass case of sci-fi memorabilia -"This is awesome, I’ve always wanted to roast my wife’s boyfriend!" -Dont worry you can press start bew conversation on girlfriend ai -"Look on the bright side, you will save a ton of money not paying for her services anymore." -"What's sad is that most people are like ""you're fat"", ""you're ugly"", ""small dick"", ""incest"". - -No one is bashing you for the right thing. - -Maybe you could get a good loyal woman if you hadn't picked the only hobby more expensive and less worthwhile than Magic: the Gathering. - -I hope the one time you use each of those Warhammer minis is worth the fucking price of a Tesla." -Ahahahahaha. -How ugly is her husband? -You have a nicer toy collection than him -Your Amish family is at the front door and they don't want u back.....lol luv brother luv -"Roasting aside, marriage is just a piece of paper. At what point in dating is a good time to tell the person you're still technically married. You're having fun with someone new, time flies. Then all of a sudden they're proposing to you and you have to have that awkward conversation." -Sancho -"believe it or not, when the onlyfans girl messages you back, that does not warrant a relationship" -He married his sex doll 😂 -I'm questioning your intelligence for opening yourself up to the negativity of the Internet -"Again... E-Girlfriend is not the same as real girlfriend. Don't know how many times we need to go over this. - - -Aside of that... Damn dude... Sorry." -She just told you that to let you down softly. She really just found someone that could stretch that itch inside her. -Spending thousands on her OnlyFans does not a girlfriend make. -You were the side piece 💀 -He’s better let looking too -How you lose an imaginary girlfriend lmao -FYI your on the winning side -You should date her husband as revenge. -Sounds like she prioritized you more than your hairline prioritized your hair. -"""make it hurt worse than that please"" - -She was getting off knowing you were eating her husband's cum while you were going down on her." -You are alredy cooked -Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! - Wing a simp to an OF whore does not make her your girlfriend -How didn't you know your mother was still with your father? -roasting you is kinda like beating a dead horse. with you actually being the horse. -"Well, looking at your table and case behind you. I would say you made up the girlfriend and husband." -Is this better or worse than looking like Ted Cruz? -"Tell him you are her boyfriend, be a man" -You didn’t know you had a brother-in-law? -You're going to be even more pissed when you see her husband wearing your stormtrooper helmet and throwing your lightsaber in his bum waiting for her to catch a load in your millennium falcon -"The chick on onlyfans you throw stupid amounts of money at to have the ""girlfriend experience"" text messages and occasional facetime with doesn't count as a girlfriend bro." -You mean your husband has a girlfriend -"Looking at you, her husband must be a fucking hobgoblin." -You finally met your dad? -Thats a weird way to find out about your step-dad -Is your girlfriend you dressed up as a girl? -You look like someone who wouldn’t realize this… -Her Husband talks about you a lot in r/wallstreetbets -Having her bathwater doesn't mean Belle is your girlfriend. -Look! All of your friends are in the picture too! -"I’m struggling to believe how a woman… a *human* woman slept with you, and that same woman also is married to, again, *human* man that presumably wanted to be married to her. - -Something doesn’t add up!" -Wonder if she’s going to war on his hammer right now -How did you find out? Was it a DVD of a home video on a boat? -Just because only you can see her doesn't mean she's real my friend -"Just let her husband know everything. He should know the truth, because the lady should suffer" -"You're one of those people who just spray their Necrons in Lead Belcher, aren't ya" -"Just because you regularly pay her tokens on chaturbate, doesn’t make her your girlfriend" -"She wasn't your girlfriend, you weren't her boyfriend, you were just some ""other guy"" she cheated on her husband with. (that's one million percent what she's telling him too btw) - -Ouch." -"You didn't tell us who's the husband, is it your father?" -Did she tell you that she was married before or after she saw all your Star Wars models??? -should've bought a decent table before buying a married woman dinner -"You are so stupid, your existence gives the evidence enough for a man to become a simp. You have made everyone in this group stupider just by you posting this. You have contributed nothing in this society. May God save your soul." -Of course she does. You didn’t think you could satisfy a woman all by yourself did you? She probably has a couple more side kicks just like you only better looking and more successful.. And you thought you were her one and only?? Hell no!!! Your the fries of a steak dinner -Ha ha ha! She really hates her husband 🤣 -OF girlfriend is not a real girlfriend. -"As a fellow 40k player, the odds are way better that you'll finally end up painting all those minis you own than the odds of you finding love in this lifetime" -"Nah sorry, it's harsh enought" -Those catfish stories keep getting more complex. -"She was unhappy with her husband enough to step out for something new. She dated you and thought she’d go back to him. Wow. -At least you’re not into like Warhammer or anything…" -"I mean, if she was dating you, you couldn't have lost much." -Sucks to be you lol -She's not your girlfriend just because you stalk her -f**king sh*t -I don’t know what’s the hardest to believe. You have a girlfriend or « she » is married. -Guess you need some time to clean all the husband man-fat off your bellend now right? -The husband must be a vegetable if you're the forbidden fruit. -At least she didn't turn out to be a husband. Take the W -Did your suggar mummy give you money to buy that Warlord Titan?/s -comment -"You may live in Spain, but your tits live in France and Portugal." -"Geez they spell ""35f from Spain"" really weird in Spanish 😒" -"Okay, but how big is your dick?" -Saggiest tits in Ibiza -How the fuck are you 19 with tits like a spaniels ears? -"If the police took a DNA swab of your mouth, it would test positive for penis" -19? Those tit's say over 40 -Her link to only fans will appear soon. -You’re sucking in your gut like your life depends on it in the second picture -You look like you just spent two weeks in Dubai. -Your hips do lie. -Shocked the account isn’t NSFW -Are you a plumber? Because you look like you’ve laid a lot of pipe. -Not even the most dishonest of politicians could make the leap between your tits. -What are the chances that some lucky guy is going to lift up that skirt and have a dick punch him in the face? -"This is the wrong sub to go phishing for new ""daddies"" so you can afford 5head and chin reduction surgeries." -I whole heartedly believe you’re a lady boy. -SHOW ME THE DICK -After all that make up and clothes I still feel that I can smell you from here …😨 -"You remind me of a sock I kept under my bed when I was 12, except more used and crusty." -Bros cleavage looks like a peace sign -You look like you use a hello kitty dildo to do your makeup -That hair color job is older than 19. -"Hey, Halloween is coming. I love your chlamydia costume!" -"You all know damn well her body count at "" 19"" is more than Jason, Micheal Myers , and Freddy's body count" -This is the most insecure person I’ve seen on here. Holy shit -"Alexa, como se dice ""cum dumpster"" en Español?" -I’m calling bull on this -No I don't want to subscribe for free -"TIL that in Spain, only every other birthday is counted towards their age. Makes a lot more sense realizing you’re actually 38. - -Also, I was gonna make a joke about your saggy ass tits, but that’s just low hanging fruit." -"You: “ I want Shakira Mom!!!” -Mom: “ We have Shakira at home”" -Great Value Shakira -150 full hour 85 half hour 65 15 minutes … 25 surcharge no condom -Definitely top 98% on OnlyTrans! -Finally figured out what all those bulls are running from -Nice natural tits for a 50 year old trans -I didn't know Spain also had Thai boys. -I use to fuck sluts like you then I started respecting myself -Her blood type is precum -You look like your father never came home!! -Seems like you’re about to expand your collection of baby daddies and child support contributors. -Nice gut -Only a matter of time until you will be turning tricks for a paella special. -How are you 19 with the tits of a 50 year old that breast fed entire village? -Your morning routing includes plucking your mustache. -I ran out of tea bags can i borrow yours? -"If I went to Spain, I would see 5 or 6 of you standing outside a massage parlor" -19? You’re at least 42… -19 is a lie. Female is also a lie. But hey it’s 2024 so I guess you can identify as whatever age and gender you want. -19 has to be a lie. Either way you’re so ugly even your eye is trying to look away -"Those tits are just like Bill and Hilary Clinton's marriage, part of the same entity, but miles apart." -Temu Shakira -Spain? Must live in Barf-Alone-a. -The rain in Spain falls mainly on this “lady’s” testicles. -"U look like a lazy fuck, I think a corpse would be more exhilarating. U look like u live an apartment that permanently smells like cat shit and is drowning in bras because you clearly don’t wear one, like ever. How u gonna be 19 and have titties like a 40 year old mom of 8?? The theme here, you exude and drip laziness" -Tonight on when transitions go wrong… -The Plain in Spain -Are those pics before or after your parents disowned you? -You look like you masturbate to Franco posters. -"You said you were 19f from Spain, and the lie detector determined that was a lie." -The men in Spain are different -I don't even want to know how hairy you are everywhere. Did you shave your mustache before the pics? -"A paella is more fishy than you. - -Those shoulders say NFL quarterback. Those hips say Sumo" -Somebody clicked “randomize” when adjusting the makeup settings. -I can tell that you break stuffs when you argue. -"You look like a transgender hooker pretending to be classy, who ended up being a lady boi." -"Those hips do lie. 19f? - -Does the F stand for five-head?" -100% 19m from thailand so nah -"Shit, I thought you were a lady boy (not a pretty one) from Thailand." -You’re transitioning quite well. Almost fooled me. -Those breasts are haggard to death the same as your face. Not in 10 lifetimes when I settle for this. -Who’s lazier? Ur eye or ur tits? -"You nailed all the ""my dad left years ago and is still somehow disappointed"" poses. " -You’ve had more meat in you than a retired butcher in his hands throughout his career. -You look exactly like those sad pictures that pop up on porn sites that say they're single and want to meet me. -Damn what happened to Shakira? Is she on coke? -You really pulled off the GTA hooker cosplay! -You look like an autistic Jessica Alba -19MtF* from Spain -"Guys , guys !! Chill she a little down …lol" -Identifies as a SPAM -Your transition is going well. It's almost believable -You've stubbed your toe on your nipple before haven't ya -Girl... Do something about those eyebrows -She got a evil plans in mind -What happened to ur upper lip? -I just saw some videos of you trying to steal phones in Italy -FLAPJACK -"Nice try, bro" -The Joker ? -You're a drag..... in every definition. -"She never ran with the bulls, but she's had many balls run across her face." -"i can smell the burnt paella - -not sure what that means" -"19F  -19f Stripper. Looking for work!" -i can kiss you and i will taste 95% of the men from Europe -"What's Spanish for ""leave the money on the nightstand""?" -The way you take these pictures seems like you’re trying real hard to hide an Adam’s Apple -Great Value Shakira -Mariah Scary -Some ol' flapjack titties -"The “roast me, but really check out my OF page!” Posts are getting old" -"19 year old body, 40 year old titties" -When one eye is on spanish time and the other is on Polish time -Woman went through three race changes in those pictures. -"How do you day ""flapjacks"" in Spanish?" -You use more filters than a hospital's HVAC system... -Jessica rabid -You look like you have as much personality as that piece of paper… -Look like a Low dollar Shikera -"Most people go to Spain to get some colour, if that colour is food poisoned white you may actually get laid." -Only Forgetful -"If you turn the paper, does it say €5 blowies in the disabled toilet" -Not Even the Tate brothers would sell her -It’s 19 miles from the left eye to the right eye. -Didn’t know they made the Spanish edition without brains too -In a few more years it's going to hurt waking around all thoes cobblestone streets with your tits dragging on the ground. -Gas went up when your water broke. -Living proof that the world renowned fame of how beautiful Spanish people are is heavily influenced by the amount of alcohol consumed -From Spain? Which corner? -Just get me another bottle of champagne and stop asking for a tip every 5 minutes -It’s the world’s oldest profession. You should be proud. -"Sir, this is a Wendy’s." -Yo face is longer than psalms -these photos look like ones used by scammers on tinder -are you buying makeup by the pound or pallet? -J no -The Bronx isn’t Spain dear. -I didn’t know Thailand was spelled S-P-A-I-N. -Generic Mexican hooker who preys upon drunk Americans in Tijuana. -I did my study abroad in Spain in 2005 and you told me you were 19 back then. -There is no tread left on those tires. -Only Fansth -You look like Howard the ducks side bitch -Spain ? you look like a Thai lady boy -i think u stole my lil sisters barbie dolls skirt. -"Conquistadora? Of what, exactly?" -Girl got them national geographic tettehs -you look like you get texted a lot late at night but never during the day -Authentic taco— smells like onion and cilantro -It looks like it drew on that face with an etchy sketch -I only have $100 is that okay -You look like my aunt….and that’s….not…good.. -"I bet your ""Arby's"" looks like it survived the inquisition" -You might be Spanish but you look like a great value burrito at best -I bet you make good Moroccan tea -You have two sets of eyes examining me from four different angles. Or whatever's behind me. -"Football eyes. One is at home, the others away." -"Fine, I'll sub to your Only fans for $2 A month. -If you want me to watch any videos I'll need a lot more though." -19 what? years of service? -You could be fluent in every language yet still not be able to say a single thing. -Nothing sexy here she's Splain jane -"Your lazy eye might have missed 8 cm of roots showing, but thst's no excuse to let your stylist not fix it." -I think these pictures gave me the clap. -No one care's if your from spain...only if you know how to cook n clean n stuff. -Ready for the casting sofa -Euphoria extra -You can literally see the 5 o clock shadow coming through in the last pic -Temu has a dating section? -They call it makeup for a reason. -When you asked for Shakira but your mom says you have Shakira at home -Being spanish doesn’t justify you being ugly -Must be pretty ugly. My screen is still loading…. -What strip club do you work at? -19 and theyre already teabags -whens the last time you wore pants? your knees need it -"Your like a hurricane, it is hot and moist but when you leave you take half my house too" -I was going to ask you what your father thinks about the way you dress but he clearly isn’t in the picture -"She gives off ""anal prolapse at 16"" vibes" -"19m->f from Spain, let’s see - -*fixed the title for you" -I think I saw you on puta locura -Defo a Depressed Romania hooker with a fake Spanish passport. -Worst fake eyebrows this side of a ladyboi corner in Thailand. -Lookin good dude! -r/traps is what you wanted -Pronouns? I genuinely can't tell. -I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you yet… -You look like cha-ka from land of the lost! -Just share the link already 🙄 -Puta -You could play hacky-sack with those tits. -There's enough sagging there to legitimately call those teats... -Looks like Shakira's kid brother got into her drawers again... -Goes by “They” -Teemu Shakira 🤣 -You look like a Thai ladyboy lookalike of Shakira. -Wish version of Shakira -two clicks away from being an OF puta. -What time will you start your shift in Paradise ? -Girl gets her fashion sense straight from PornHub. -"Even though your only 19, you’ve had more trains run through you than the “North-South Connection”" -I bet her body count is still higher than the upvotes smh -I'm not subscribing to your OF. -"You look like you went to diddy’s parties, and are proud of it" -Is your dick bigger then mine -I am lady boy -You’ve been split roasted so much I don’t know if I could roast you anymore than you already have -You look like a hastily assembled mannequin. -You look like a cum dumpster for Football players when they lose. -"Hi guys, his name is raul btw" -Its like if you bought an escort off TEMU -Good to see a Bojack horseman spin off is still an option in 2024 -"Destiny called, she said it’s your time to dance on the pole." -I see a lot of ex husbands in your future -"When you're dream girl is Shakira, but you have a severe astigmatism." -Did you mean 33 year old “escort” -Lets just get this over with and give up your OF!! -I think you meant to post this on the cheap escort sub? -If I was the bull and saw those dead eyes I’d forfeit. Win to the saggy tittied matador. -She either goes to the local nursery school to get her make up done or she's a graduate of Clown College and attended Cum Lambda Ho sorority. -Hoochimama!! -How many dicks a day lady? -Joder! Almodovar will love her...! -"19 years since you graduated high-school you mean, right?" -Your minimum credit card monthly payments must be in the 6 figure range faking it that hard. -"Te cagas en la puta, o que?" -Dollar store Barbie.... -Highest paid model on only flapjacks. -What’s the OF? -Spanish Mail-Ordered Bride by Wish -Split roast? -You are the antonym of : Wifey material . -"What's spanish for ""peep show splooge target""?" -El bunny boiler -How much per hour? -"When you order Paella, you expect quality. When they order a 19 y/o mail bride from Spain, they send you back." -Have you applied to the circus yet or are you trying to get a promotion at work directly from the source -You look like the way you know your sister was on her period is because your dads willy tastes funny -"As a person who would probably catch your attention, I would avoid you like the plague." -"Long time since Batman, but nice to see you Mr Nicholson." -"Pretty convincing, but you can’t fool me" -"19f. You sure you're not a dude dressed in drag.""" -"Oh, I saw you in that ladyboy video recently!" -Smack and prostitution really goes hand in hand -Glad to see Spain isn't as great as they claim to be -Whoreganic diet for sure. -Did I see you on r/noses too? -"It looks that you have an old soul - -Not in the good way though…" -"When Macklemore said ""The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing women that they look better in the makeup"" he personally meant you. And then even without makeup, you don't look half as good, as you yourself think you do." -You look like my uncle -The makeup they use on trans women really is getting more and more convincing... -Almost as preety as Samantha Hudson on a bad day -How goes it on Only One Fan? -Gonna need a belt for those titties in a couple of years. -Dollar Store Shakira -"by far, the ugliest girl from Spain I have ever seen!" -"In 10 years you’re gonna have 3 baby daddies, be in an abusive relationship with your boyfriend (but he just gets mad sometimes so you’re on with it). You’ll have at least one *Live, Laugh, Love* pillow." -comment -"not sure if im looking at Owen Wilson, or Caitlyn Jenner." -Third attempted mass blinding of users -Cinder block jaw having ass -You look like you buy raw meat from the supermarket and set it free in nearby fields -"no amount of hair comb over can cover that vast, enormous, barren wasteland you call a forehead" -Ffs why is everyone trasitioning now ? They even got woody harrelson -Why the square face? -You look like you have screaming relationship arguments in public places and you stalk your ex’s. -So how does one become a prostitute? -You look like you carry around a spoon and a lighter. -If Taylor swift was a broke crackhead -DON'T BE SO NEEDY. -Maybe don’t lead off with a picture from the methadone clinic. -"“A.I., show me five images of quintessential Eurotrash.”" -Your surgeon did a great job of shaving down your Adam's apple! -Luna lovegood midlife crisis -"They said ""Be there or be square"" and you never came" -Third attempt of what? Swapping genders from the looks of it -When you thought Florence and the machine meant her and her vibrator. -You look like the discount rack version of Helen Hunt -What’s up Aileen Wuornos?? -Even your midlife crisis is already 50yo. -"Bunny boiler in the making. Watch out, guys." -mom of 2 but feels like a mom of 6. needs valium and a lobotomy. will probably do heroin instead -You look like you “discovered” enjoying going out on dates by yourself -Hopefully this one gets rejected as well. -Jenny slate clone -You've got the jawline of a prize fighter -You look Amish af like a mortician did your make up as well -Woody Harrelson as the German prostitute in Anger Management. -This is your third attempt to look remotely feminine -Mousy blonde mop with Burt and Ernie face vibes. Not sure if this is the look you intended but congratulations -"Never mind a punch, that jaw could take a nuke." -When a man becomes a woman … -"With that semblance, would having sex with you be considered necrophilia?" -"Suprised, you can keep your mouth closed with that jaw you got." -"Oh jeez…3 times? Sorry the transitions didn’t work out for you, bro." -With that jawline you must be the female version of Lord Farquad -Who is this guy? -Elsa and Anna’s other sister in rehab for meth… -" -Why is Quagmire's dad showing up for a roast?" -You look like Helen Hunt if someone ordered Helen Hunt off Temu or Wish. -Holy fucck!? Your ears are so low that they’re level with your mouth! Do your body lice get lost in those brows? -"I see a future Glenn Close in fatal attraction, but with more twerking." -Gender bent Ryan McPoyle lookin ass -LOOK ITS GIGA CHIN -She’s very skinny. Tweety bird skinny. I’d bang her but I’m scared of getting a paper cut. -Third attempt at what? Brushing your hair? -"Twilight really fucked the actors up. I knew Kristen Stewart is slowly looking more and more manly, but Robert Pattinson turning woman is news indeed." -Temu sent Beth Dutton. -🗿 -Helen Hunt's transgender little brother. -"Your third attempt lead to someone's first attempt 💀 - -JK, -You're actually pretty - -...pretty annoying. Even the mods banned you twice." -"Third attempt at becoming a woman? On to the fourth you go, then." -I'm very proud of your recent opiate recovery. Stay strong twig. -Third attempt of looking female? -Exposure therapy doesn’t work to make you stop crying while looking in the mirror -You’re on the MAGA watch list if you ever hit a “real” XX woman -You look like someone who needs three tries in order to get a reddit post working -Is your charity case giving hormone injections to children? -Take the hint. -Plain yogurt has more flavor. “This is my third attempt” is what your mom said while holding the coat hanger for a final attempt. -"I've always wondered what meth tastes like , is your mom still lactating?" -You lie obviously about how you look with the first 2 pictures by fixing you're ugly with camera angel. The last 3 show you like you are.. Ugly -Ever seen the show strangers with candy? -Definitely look like a product of incest. -Hellboy wants his chin back. -"Standards are so low you would give me a chance - -(see what I did there)" -Boy I bet she thought she was T.I the way how she got her head up in that photo -ozempic? gonna say ozempic. -Duck i checked if u had NSFW roast me -kids .. look .. thats why you never ever do drugs -those long nights in the strip club hitting hard -Is this a fetish? -You look like you like the attention of being a survivor -If little boys didnt do the trench coat thing and instead threw on dresses -"When Forrest Gump buried you, I just assumed you were dead. This plot twist is throwing my roast game off, Jennay." -"The Goodwill super shopper look, nailed it." -What fucking disgusting thing happened in your life that made you choose earmuffs like that? -You look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose -"I have no idea where you live, but I can tell California liberalism has fried your brain" -"3rd Pic, you have a white chinchilla clinging to the side of your head" -Anastasia. After finding out the baker has a small dick. -Hola -Elizameth Shue -You look like Helen Hunt after doing massive powder twisters for a week. -33 yr old single quirky aunt vibes. -Goodwill Caitlyn Jenner -"Dw I gotcha, I'll finish the sentence for you: ""this is my third attempt to murder my best friend who I envy""" -Noel fielding -That’s the same pair of fry boots I wore to high school in the late 70s -if Helen hunt and Elizabeth shue made a trans son. -"Waiting for the unmarked van to screech to a stop, three masked kidnappers jump out and interrupt your selfie moment. As soon as they recognize you, they scramble back into the van and speed away. Without you." -3rd attempt at transitioning? -"You are the lost Bellido-Durán sibling from the Spanish ultra-catholic band “Flos mariae” - -https://youtu.be/viQOBLF3AcY?si=feqR4-XvU7Q6jAkU" -Meth is a hell of a drug -You look like last years winther… long white and boring -"3rd picture, random question, but Florence?" -"If the swat team forgets their battering ram, they can just use your chin!" -Third attempt at what? Transitioning? It shows. -Built like a Minecraft village. HRMMMM -I’m still on the fisrt phots putting yo shi on a grill -"You look like any generic small town girl from the 60s who went to the city to “make it big” and just ended up as a cumdump groupie for a jazz band who keep telling you they’ll “put you on the next track”, but never do." -"Wow, the surgeon did a great job on the Adam’s Apple shaving surgery, but when is the rest of the facial feminization surgery scheduled? That jaw and those eyebrows scream “DUDE”, just saying." -Your third attempt at what? Sobriety from methamphetamine? -I won't roast you . You are pretty -"First impression, looks autistic. -Checked your profile and wasn't disappointed." -You missed the message of the first 2 -You look just enough like a man to enter the women’s boxing olympics -Too pretty to roast. -Pipi long stockings with tiny breasts or non in sight -This girl looks like she eats granola and yogurt while wearing underwear standing in the kitchen. -"You look like one of those little Victorian dolls, but with anorexia." -I was just at that same bridge in Italy the 4th pic is at. And MY GOD was it full of basic women taking this exact photo. Just wanted to walk from the bnb to get gelato and it was a maze getting through there. -serious crazy cat lady vibes here -Tell me you shop on Etsy without telling me you shop on Etsy -Paper or plastic -"Dude, please stop doing these" -"What does that mean, my third attempt? Did nobody roast you on attempts 1 and 2? If they didn't, your probably good..." -"""I'm not like other girls"" (doesn't warn you before skinning your dog and wearing its skin)" -"The girl from The Lovely Bones, sorry not a roast, you just kinda look like her and I love that movie ❤️‍🩹" -Got more chin than a chinese phone book. -You look like Mac Tonight's long lost daughter -Albino Frankenstein looking Mf 😭 -my teachers boyfriend -I see a sickly Victorian child -I've seen sex dolls with more life in their eyes. -If Dana Plato lived too long -I guarantee you she smiles without teeth because her mouth looks like it’s full of jagged corn -"You look like the Morton salt girl trying to start an onlyfans 🤪. Jk, very cute" -I loved you in Twister 🌪️ -Thats a guy? -Lord far quad had a daughter -"When you smile, it looks like you’re pooping." -Your face looks like a sad handjob. -Methdonna lookin ass!😂😂😂 -ew -‘This is my third attempt’ is what your mum said about trying for a boy. In the end she just decided fuck it we will dress him in drag -You look like Jenny from Forrest Gump but only after she died of AIDS. -Remember when you fought Hulk Hogan at wrestlemania 7.... that was cool. -For some reason I get the vibe that you have a stash of stuffed animals displayed in your room but you have a SECRET stash that you store in a bin and you chew on them when you’re feeling a bit feral -I loved you in Inventing Anna -Got that Mr. Incredible ass jawline there m8 -You look like a young Helen Hunt on crack -Your one ear showing makes you look like a 50s angular tea cup. -It's like Owen Wilson doing drag as Helen Hunt -I think you listen to Christmas music all year. -"When no guy wants to give you attention, so you come back here for the third time" -Her hair looks like it all comes out one big hole on top of her head. -The geography says Europe but the meth says Ohio -You have a dude face -"Where are you on the spectrum? - -“Yes”" -I can't tell if you're a vegan or a heroin addict -Is your name Methany?? -Methanie! -🍆 -She’s pretty in the way she looks like she does drugs -Didn’t I watch you on “love after lockup”? -"Hermoine Granger isn’t quite the theme you need to go for to turn tricks, Reddit nerds only pay for OnlyFans and updoots." -Vampire? Ever herd of vitamin D? -June is over -"You’ve accepted the fact that you’re a total failure in every way possible and that’s your ONLY redeeming quality. After every interaction, the best case scenario is if they forget you immediately." -you look like you just escaped a meth lab. -"You be saying that to your ""boyfriend""...he's not gonna turn straight with you...." -THIS IS MY THIRD ATTEMPT is what your boyfriend told you hoping that someday it will be worth the effort -I bet you would have no problem taking a punch from Imane Khelif -I can’t decide which Snood character you look like the most -Is this a taxidermy spunk target? -"I was gonna ask if you’ve ever considered trying, but yep that’s you trying." -My God! i can smell your desperation for daddy's approval through my phone. It smells like unwashed pussy and calvin Klein cologne. -Good thing you’re not a olympic athlete that jaw and forehead would spark a lot of controversy -out here looking like a minecraft character with your giant block head -"A lot of the commenters are focusing on your eyebrows, and ignoring the rat’s nest you hastily glued to your scalp" -You look like the real Anna Delvey -When did you transition? -Your gene pool looks about as deep as my dogs water dish -Your third attempt at trying to convince people you’re a woman right? -"Your heard, large. Your hair, thin. Your skin, dry. Your lips, where?" -"Most interesting part of these, there is bridge with Apartments on top. Where is this place?" -Dana Scummy in The Ex-Files -You look like Peeta from the hunger games -At what? Getting laid or a glow up? -Three attempts is what it takes for guys to get hard for you -"Third Attempt in looking like a women? Dude, just except who you are." -Your name is Kyle right -Third attempt at fucking a tree branch and even that went limp -The alternate universe photos where Helen Hunt was born male and is mid transition. -Galaxia from Anger Management. -You could star in a movie called “Flour”. -How long before your nose meets your chin? -Temu Helen Hunt. -You look like an ad from brokensluts.com -You got that Shutter Island chic -Third attempt at a fentanyl overdose -"Very cool to see this ""where is she now"" for Wendy from Breaking Bad" -Listen if you wanna get fucked there's better ways -Escaped psychiatric patient vibes… -"Her friends have set her up on so many blind dates.... -FFS they need to set her up with a decent taste in outfits" -You use this sub when the heroin wears off and there's nothing else to do until the benefits are paid in. -Definition of thirsty. Try feeding your passions and maybe someone will find you interesting instead of desperate.  -Pastewka?? -Florence and no vagin -Minecraft Stefanie. -Knock off Jodie Foster -You look easy -"Third attempt? At what, getting sober?" -Crack head -Third attempt at having the whole Internet telling you that you look like the crackiest crack head of all crack heads! Or your tired attempt at actually making a post that's legible???? Meth/Crack is a hell of a drug!! -They rejected u in the audition for one of the extra crackheads in Breaking Bad just bcoz u looked so authentic drug addict that the show might have to face litigation. -You went to the saloon and asked for the “3 year old wet mop” cut -You look like a discount version of Jennifer Garner -"Chin-zilla mutated her forhead into a fivehead. Enough with the radiation already, move out of Tjernobyl. Now." -"Nobody wants to roast too hard, because you look like you’re on the edge." -Aaaaannnnddd ypu still fail! -Third attempt? Wtf do you want from us? -Abhorrence and the Machine -Why Are you trying so hard to get roasted? Your eyes say ‘I’m dead inside’ so I’m guessing it’s because it’s the only way you can feel something? -Not by the hair on my chinnie chin chin -You look like Britney Spears Instagram account -26 going on 43. -Calm down Methany -"She looks like she doesn't eat anything that grows,lol" -You look like the creepy Aunt from Per Semetary -You look like you still try and land a part time babysitting job just so you can fill their heads up with your anarchist ideas about how pretty people get all the advantages in life and we need to start over -Are you the love child of Desperate Dan ? -Really messed up how you took advantage of Forrest Gump. -Trailer swift! -Third attempt at what? Forming an image that will make you even remotely interesting to other people? -"Watch out, Forrest Gump is coming for you and that didn't end well." -Wish.com Taylor swift -Methanie Griffith -3rd attempt at rehab ? -"""Be there or be square"" they said and you still didn't show up" -You look like the trans version of Rocky Dennis -What’s jaw problem? -You look like Kevin Bacons ugly wife -You look like the Temu version of Kaitlyn Jenner. -You have a strong punch taking chin. -When you buy a hooker off of temu -Future pole vaulter -You look like a hand puppet used by someone with very long fingers -"You have the jawline of an army ranger , crimson chin looking ass" -"You look like if you had a piercing, they would stink and remain unwashed. You look like you love your dad and mom, but your mom’s personality is why people reject you. -You look like someone who needs to keep trying for a boy. That chin will make him leader of the free world. Good job looking like a b character who dies, mid season, from a two sentence, out of the blue, random death….. pulled out of the writers asses… but in reality you (the actress playing said character) went to rehab after doing to much blow, when the guy they all warned you about had you pay for the plan- b for his other girlfriend." -"If this is her third attempt, she must really dig that burning sensation" -14 year old autistic boy trying on wigs -"Favourite food - cow pie. -Desperate Dan would be jealous of that chin" -Transitioned Logan paul -"Youre not fooling anyone with that comb over, crimson chin." -How much for the night? -"I know, getting over tuberculosis is tough, but third time's the charm 😁" -"James Van Der Beek, drag is perfectly acceptable. You can be open and free about it!" -She started AIDS. -No one cares about you. Not even Reddit after a third attempt -Charity Case? No one is giving you shit with eye brows like that! -You look like a Seth McFarland cartoon with that jawline -3rd attempt at transitioning? -She looks like Quagmires dad -It’s a NAH from me dog. You look like Robert Pattinson auditioned for Interview with a Vampire. -I see why -The third attempt at cutting your own hair? -Your third attempt at what? Passing for female on ladies night? -Do your clients still pay you in cash or has it moved onto just drugs? - Congratulations on your 3rd transition. -Heroin chique -Your Erasmus will be the peak of your life and the only interesting story you'll have to tell to your children; but you will totally omit the amount of dicks you took while abroad. -Pretty fly for biguy. -"Hiw can you be this desperate to be roasted? Your family ignoring you so you're coming to us? - -If you mean third attempt on your life that would require you to have a life to begin with." -The only thing you’re starved for more than calories is attention. -"THERE WAS ROOM FOR TWO ON THAT GOT DAMNED DOOR, ROSE!!" -Cute? More like a FUCKING SKELETON EW -At getting Peter Griffin to have sex with you? -Nothing more attractive than being able to see the precise shape of someone's skull. -Shelly?!? Northern exposure ended 30 years ago. -You look like you smoke cloves -ARE YOU THE LEAD SINGER FOR GARBAGE? -WE AREN'T BUYING THE ONLYFANS -Stan Smith transitioned -You live in a Stevie Nicks world. Fluffy is your favorite shape -If your jaw was any squarer it could cut stone -Oh Congratulations! Losing 2 babies must be difficult but you look well into your 3rd pregnancy and looking happy! -Wipe off the casting couch when you’re done -"We belive in you. - -This time you will succeed in getting off the meth!" -Your Disney fairytale is the movie Pretty Woman -Female version of Johnny bravo’s chin -Temu Barbie -"That wall in front of you is moving at 299,792,457 meters per second." -When does your Olympic boxing final start? -comment -"Even with the other two girls' faces blacked out, you're still the third best looking girl in that last picture" -"*Posts a RoastMe to get attention... since her husband gives all his attention to his mistress.* - -Don't worry, I see what you're doing here." -"How many times have you yelled ""I'm at \*least\* a seven with filters!"" ? 😒" -you look like you pass up a lot of great men with stable lives for a burnt out dude with neck tattoos and calls his part time job at walmart a side hustle because he sometimes DJs for his friends house parties he also cheats on you and the more your mom tells you to leave him the harder you fall for him -Last photo- top half from onlyfans. Bottom half from onlyhams -You're just looking for a free abortion because you're tired of paying for them. -What do you mean while you’re down? You were born with it. -"Damn, you're hot!! Not like hot hot, but best bitch at an Alabama strip club hot.." -Those thighs could be protected under National Parks legislation -Why are you down? Is it because of your hair? -Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! -Your hairline looks like it's running away from your face. You also look like you begrudgingly give blowjobs. -The depression is irradiating through the screen and it's ruining my dog's mood -"Don't know what your problem is, you look like a beautiful, charming, and intelligent guy." -I would but it’s not good to get shit on my shoes -"Your forehead size makes those ""brows"" look like the end of a greek column." -"Nope, can’t do it! . Call me weak. She is just to perfect. Great height, great teeth, nice strong legs, looks fukin great on camera. I am kind of stunned she is on here. I mean , I want to take her horseback riding, totally. I want to feed her carrots, I want to brush her mane. I want to brush her teeth and breed her off to pop me out some damn winners! Thanks for finding me first." -Your home decor is astonishingly more bland than your face -"""Kick me while I'm down"" that defines your every relationship with a man" -Bet you could eat an apple through a tennis racket -"You remind me of a pear that has been left on the countertop too long, it's past its prime, starting to smell, going soft, and nobody wants to eat or touch it. You've got the same shape too." -Must've gotten a nice discount on those tattoos. -Your cosmetology license was a waste of money. -You look like you need to google every other word to make sure you're spelling it correctly and the ones you don't google are just wrong. -Im gonna guess the guy in the green shirt has been trying for years but has been told he’s just a great friend. -"You sure look like you're ""down"" a lot. - -On your knees...on you back...underneath total strangers..." -You look like you’d eat a dick but ask to see the manager about the temperature it was served at. -100% chance you have a DUI -You look like Jessica Alba…..with a few extra chromosomes -Your eyebrows are okay -Did that skirt come with the slit in it or did you thighs do that when you put them on? -Whores face or horse face or both? -"If you are having problems getting a guy, just tell them for you fisting is “first base”" -Why you holding game of thrones like its a trophy?😭💀 -Your face is going to make a man’s fist very happy one day -You look just like a Targaryen....inbred for generations -You look like you believe he is going to call you back -You look like I would need to be introduced to you 7 times to remember your name. -"You're what they call a ""practice girl""" -"I would say that you won’t be down forever, but at your age you may be." -Looks like someone already kicked your face -"When furniture, clothes, shoe shopping at Ross and TJMax makes u feel prettier." -Youve put the entire make up pallet on and still the grease cuts through -"Like just pretty enough to have sober sex with, and just regrettable enough to get the fuck out and delete my number from your phone while you’re sleeping. -Youre the post-coital Mason-Dixon Line, the post nut clarity rubicon. -Real life Maureen Ponderosa from Its Always Sunny." -"Even compared to that piece of paper, you're not the pretty one." -“Kick me while I’m DTF” -"You look like a pharmaceutical trial for a weight loss medication; the top half got the actual drug, and your bottom half got the placebo and a gift card to KFC." -You look really easy to break up with -When you buy Jennifer Lopez on Temu -"You look sturdy, like you’ve been picking up extra shifts bartending and are always the one who has to bring cases of Natty Ice up from the basement. You keep telling people it’s only temporary and you’ll be going back to finish your degree, but it’s been 6 years and you struggled with just a single semester at community college. So you work as much as possible and then tell people you just don’t have the time for school while the light in your eyes slowly fades and you can’t even remember what it was like to have dreams." -Your eyes are more spread out than your legs -"""Alright, let's dive in deep here. That skirt is so short, it looks like it’s having an identity crisis—are you sure it's not just misplaced underwear? And the top, is it supposed to be a shirt or a bandage? It’s doing a fantastic job of looking like neither. The boots? They’re giving serious ‘wannabe warrior’ vibes, but the rest of your outfit says ‘confused clubber.’ And the tattoo? It’s as unique as a barcode at Walmart. I see you're holding a 'Game of Thrones' book. Good choice! But if you're hoping to look like a character from the series, you might want to aim for someone other than Samwell Tarly. At least you’re holding a book, which is a good prop to make you seem smarter than your fashion choices suggest!""" -I suggest you never stand near the hot chick in the white dress again -"You have the most genuine smile, but it's complemented with a self sabotaging personality" -I can see why he cheated -You look like you can’t name 10 books -"It's crazy that you are actually good looking, clearly very physically fit but literally nobody noticed because your teeth and skin are the exact same color." -I had sex with this chick when I was in Florida. I believe she is married. -"You look like a great drunk mistake, but a sober walk of shame." -One of the single moms that try to hit on male staff at parent/teacher conferences 😌 -Are your parents related? -Your Eyes telling you to sleep and not talking about with sleeping with others. -"Another “if-only-i-had-fans” girl. - -You could try working as a human billboard though. -Make good use of that forehead." -You had to black out the other faces to make you look less horrible by comparison  -"I'm old, fat with a small package and I wouldn't....." -Great smile! -The only pictures she can post are pictures with ex-boyfriends and ex-friends because she's too psychotic to have a current boyfriend or any current friends. -"Kick me while I'm down, KICK ME WHILE IM DOWN!!!!! -Is that what you tell all your johns." -I would but I wouldn't commit. But let's be real. That doesn't matter to you. -"Oh wait, my bad. The lightning starts once you start walking and those 2 hammocks start rubbing together, right?" -You'd be pretty cute if you didn't look like that at all -"Before walking behind you, do you have to warn people to approach slowly, be respectful, and always keep their hand on you, so you don't get startled and kick the shit out of them with your horse legs?" -The only thing worse than your forehead are your tattoos -Definitely not girlfriend material -"Hey, baby, at least your self esteem can only go up :P" -The 2AM Club Closing Queen -"If I had to pick between you and the guy with the blacked out face, I'd rather smash out the guy and I'm not even gay" -You’ve clearly been gang banged one too many times. -"Nothing to add, but can you add context to that picture with the paperback game of thrones book?" -I’d rather give you a hand -should have posted to MUA for contour fails. Unless You’re forehead was so slippery you missed and landed under your eyes. -Did you just post screenshots? -"England is calling, they want to coloniser your forehead" -"Look like this girl in my dorms freshman year that did not go to the university, I kept asking her why she was there and how she was allowed to stay in the dorms, she would always just say screw you. When my roommate and I moved off campus I brought h r up, turns out she could not speak English well and was a prostitute, she would say screw you as an invitation for sex In exchange to sleeping in your dorm. Seeing you reminds me of her and how glad I am that I never said screw you back." -Down? You should have no trouble getting up with those massive legs! -"She's cute, but let’s be real, her forehead enters the room five minutes before she does. That thing's got more real estate than a New York penthouse. You could screen a drive-in movie on that forehead! - -And those thighs! Girl, you don’t have a thigh gap��you've got a thigh Grand Canyon. I’ve seen less meat on a Thanksgiving turkey. You could crush watermelons with those things. Forget leg day, every day is leg day for you! - -But let's not forget the chest situation—more like a no-show. It’s like your body couldn't decide where to allocate resources and put it all into your forehead and thighs instead. - -But hey, at least you’re balanced—massive forehead, massive thighs. It’s like nature’s way of making sure you don’t tip over. You might want to insure those thighs, though. They’re doing more heavy lifting than a fat guy at a strongman competition." -Trying to be 36 again is not an attractive trait. -I dont know if you're old or getting old. -You're like the participation medal of women -"I bet you never have experienced any guy prematurely ejaculating, but for some reason they all have ED" -No I don’t have only fans. Come up with a more creative roast y’all -Look on the bright side. You have a beautiful eye. -The type of girl you try and convince yourself to stay with but just can’t do it -Definitely a masochist -You look like you exclusively buy your clothes and makeup from the clearance rack. -"Obvious you put out, and probably had a couple of abortions" -Can you conjure storms with those thunder thighs? -Your onlyfans only fan... Is your dad -youre good looking but you could lay out a sharkcoochie board on that forehead -"Fucks on second dates, because she’s classy." -Down on ur knees most likely -Subscribe to her OnlyBanned. -This is exactly how I like them. Thick and almost pretty -Looks like that one painting of Jesus that had to be repainted -I didn’t know they had trophy wives for last place. -Your eyes are about to leave town based on the packed bags… -Your knees have triple chins -You have a low self-esteem and you're craving attention and recognition from others. -"When they say, ""Don't stick your dick in crazy,"" they're talking about you." -You’re the embodiment of “Live Laugh Love” and a trailer park having a baby. -If doggystyle was a person. -You look like you're about to try to sell me essential oils or some other MLM dreck. -You guys failed here. Do better. -whats with the chunk of loose hair tattoo on your forearm? -You just look generic  -“Kick me while I’m down” assuming you were ever up -If “I have to do anal to get a guy” had a face. -You are absolutely the ugly friend -You look like the duck from chicken little -Idk why but you built like a spinning top -There is a special place in hell for people that post screenshots of photos rather than the actual fucking photos. -I'm sure these people wanted to be blacked out bc they don't wanna be seen with you -"Aged rapidly by internal strife, -this girl read one book in her life. - -Long hair, lice care. -She’s a walking chlamydia, please beware." -Your body looks like a stepped on tube of toothpaste in that dress. Please wear a sleeping bag in future. -"You look like your dating profiles say things like ""must be 6'6"""" and ""if you don't make enough to buy me a car for the first date, move on.""" -"The military is calling, I think they want to use your forehead as a landing strip" -When is the military going to start to practice landing helicopters on your forehead? -The only thing higher than your hairline is your unpaid credit card balance -Never thought I’d see someone I know on here lmao -"Can't -Won't" -nope ur hot -"That outfit in the 4th photo is a no, for everyone, as in you should not be wearing that outfit. I don't care if you were at a dragon dork convention. Shame has been brought upon you and your family. Run away.....and never come back." -"If that last picture was a real estate ad, it would say: ‘fixer-upper with big back yard’.." -First two pictures I thought you need to smile more... Then I changed my mind -You look like you post your only fans at the bottom of all your social media accounts -Glad to see you overcame Jaundice by the end of the picture roll -I might lose my shoe -Who ordered Ariana Grande from Temu? -I would but I don't want to get my feet dirty. -You're friends and you are holding up the only book you all masturbate too ....together. -"hey, my dog is gay >:O" -This trend needs to stop. Humans are boring af. How shit is your life to call this entertainment? Another bimbo needs attention. -For only $9.99/month I’ll show you my feet. -Lemme see the ass -No doubt you can headbutt a door down -My local library has a Washed-Up Skank Reading Hour too! -That's cute you took a picture to commemorate the first time you held a book -Can’t tell if you’re 15 or 50 -You’re down… on your knees… it’s how you earn a living of course -Nothing to be embarrassed by here - very provocative! -I'm a straight female and I think you're super hot. -Typical cat fish series of photos until you see those legs 🤮 -This hat hides my egghead. -"I can't believe this shit...I think ur that ugly cutie I liked in highschool, but didn't talk too..." -You look like you go down way too much for that -One of your fake nails definitely ended up in someone's food by mistake -Puts best tinder highlights on reddit. no dms -You were doing good til I saw the GOT book. -Your face is so skinny. What happened below it? Tragic. -Why are you down? -Have you considered a whiskey drink? -"Would not bang, even when I'm desperate." -When people say they're looking for long term relationships they don't mean with you. You're an exercise bike they use to get ready for their real so -Looks like you put out only anal on the first date then he sneaks out before you wake up -"You look like you spend 25 minutes on the squat rack at the gym filming yourself doing calf exercises. Come on lady hurry up, people need to do quads!" -You probably legit cry when pumpkin spice latte's leave the menu -"You can smile, sweetie. We already know you have too much gum to tooth ratio." -Who's more disappointed? Me because ASoIF still isn't finished or every man whose eyes started on those legs and worked their way up to the mosquito bite tits and ended up at that five-head? -"Hey, where the lightning, cuz dem sum THUNDER THIGHS!!!!! GOOD LORD!!!!" -Aren’t you worried that your pimp will find you on here? -When did OnlyFans add pizza delivery to their services? -My guess is you are usually down on your knees. -1+1 = 2 -why'd you have to black out all the good faces? -Just wanted to point out I see you're with Jeff Fischer in the third pic. -You already kicked yourself down by posting on the Internet . lol -"Hey, whose your pimp? I'll give you twice the amount of meth he gives you a week. -I'm sorry, this OP just has Sooooo many roads to go down." -Great teeth. You’re a flosser! -"Kick you?! Nah, you wouldn't feel a thing with all that flab." -I didn’t think so -I can’t believe any man has been excited with you going down -this looks like one of those faces of meth add where the person just gets uglier and more run down in each picture. -"No one would subscribe to your OF because anyone who wants your pictures already has them, and nobody else wants them." -You have your mom’s hips. She’s a rhino -">Kick me while I’m down folks! - -Yeah, your face does look like you have an extra chromosome or two..." -You want us to spit on you too? -Man those matching hats were cute smh -"Wait, were you on the last season of desperate mid-wives?" -"If, “I’m single and a crazy cat lady” was a profile picture" -Your receding hairline is almost as shitty as your tattoo. -Your step father needs to get off of you first -The girl in blackface is still hotter -She looks like she aged 20 years between the last pic and the 2nd to last. -The kind of girl you keep face down regardless 🤢 -You're the girl that only looks hot because her friend group is uglier -To be honest... I don't think you're worth it. -Your cheeks look 30 years older than you -Looks like someone already has. -"Nothing bad to say. I think you are pretty. We could be depressed together, eat popcorn and swap back rubs lol." -Can I be your revenge cheat? -Kick you? I wouldn’t touch your ass with a 10 ft pole -Can't believe you'd disrespect GOT by using a paperback -"Damn, your not down your pinned down by your 45 year old step dad at a stripclub and even worse you have no one dollar bills because step dad used them as a condom " -Can I have contact info on the girl on your right in picture 4? -"Lemme -Get all 3 of yall shawties instagrams 😭" -"Not pretty enough for OF, is it Avon?" -How many pics do you need to post? We already know you’re desperate for attention just by looking at you. -Id smash but that's not saying much. 😂 -How do you know you’re down when that’s how you’ve always been? -I think you actually look quite handsome! -I didn’t know they had nerdy whores -Her underwear definitely has skids marks -Crack many walnuts? -"Warehouse with a sketchy looking dude, check -Selfie in a rental car, check -Holding a fantasy book in the atlas section of the library to make your OF look relatable, Priceless" -"You are not down, you have been just downloaded (trafficked) from black market." -When was you ever up? -Your forehead is bigger than your chest. God has kicked you enough already. -My tongue is hard -And people say Centaurs are not real -Only a GoT fan because of the incest -Name 10 books!? -The only thing that'll kick you when you're down is the baby once the baby daddy decides to leave -Five head and more cushion for the pushin…. I’d still hit it. Just sayin -Not having everything you want isn’t being “down”. -Why is there a pool table in your living room? -You look like gal gadots imbred twin sister -I can see why you take pictures from above now. -You look like you wipe your arse three times with the same unfolded piece of toilet paper -Looked good until i kept swiping. You should learn to smile without teeth showing. -You have the arms and legs of the stay puft man. -comment -That 4XL shirt is putting in a lot of work -You're built like a bag of rice. -You haven’t been roasted yet because no one can find a pan big enough. -If Reddit was a person -When does your episode of *I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant* air? -"If you were any slower, you would need watering once a week" -"Last time I saw a pair of jugs that big, two hillbillies were blowing on them." -Looks you're getting ready to fight the Ghostbusters -"Shape like a snow man, smell like a no man" -The only thing rolling is you down a hill. -"Your blood is half chocolate, half Mountain Dew." -God damn son I can smell you through my phone -That is the most disgusting beanbag chair I’ve ever seen in my life. -You look like a bag of wet clothes and doorknobs -Bro you had enough roast... -I bet your fupa is HUGE -"You're so poor that when you go to the park, the ducks throw bread at you" -"Dude, you’re asking a lot of that shirt. Maybe you should make a shirt out of an infield tarp. May fit better." -"Bro, honestly this just makes me sad. You seem like a totally creative and nice guy. At 21, I had a ripped stomach. At 51 that tone has gone but I am still showing muscle definition. I have never been sick enough to go to a hospital and have had no serious health risks. A guy like you is in for an early death. You have too much to offer humanity. Discipline is self-love. Get healthy bro." -Why his titties not only bigger than mine but also perkier? 😮‍💨 -Luckily you can’t catch the children but I’m sure you still try. -Pronouns are lb/kgs -Are you smiling or is that rictus caused by a stroke? -"Doubt it. I think you tried rolling with it, but ended up crushing ""it""." -Grimace? That you? -People calling Texas huge been real quiet since you were born -"You fall off both sides of the bed at the same time. Your belt size is equator. When you go camping the bears hide their food. You got that front desk lady physique. Whenever you go anywhere you gotta call in advance so they can start reinforcing the floors. I bet your friends with all the McDonald’s staff. Your best friend is your fork, cause you’ve been through so much together (usually a five course meal that could feed a family of six). The last time you saw your toes was in 36BC. Rumour has it you’re still trying to find your penis. You have to go everywhere barefoot cause you can’t bend down to put your shoes. You’re the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs. You need a crane to lift you out of bed. Whenever there’s a survey on preferred method of travel… you put rolling." -"You ain't the strongest zombie in the horde, you are the horde" -"Pregnant with twins, I see" -Cheeseburger walrus -If you stop eating world hunger will be solved -I don’t see a problem here. Enjoy your last 6 months of life -You look like a before picture. -"Actor, eh? Didn't know they cast the rolling ball in the indiana jones remake." -Dan Schneider has really let himself go since Quiet on Set hit. -"OH SHIT, IT'S MR. CREOSOTE!! I'm sure you are rolling, because that's literally the only way you can get around." -"FBI, his hard drive, now." -You're built like a snowman -"> chocolate milk drinker - -You'd never know that looking at you." -"If you ever want to know what it’s like to be with a woman, you can always put your hands up your own shirt." -You're only rolling with it because your legs arnt strong enough to be running with it. -When I envision a subreddit moderator this is exactly what I see. -"No matter what these sick fucks say about you, keep your chins up. You’ll make it someday. Just as soon as you put down the butter." -"Look guys he may be fat but he is a human like everyone else, if you cut him he still bleeds.....gravy." -Your blood type is chicken gravy. -Is there such a thing as type 3 diabetes? -You could probably book an Ozempic commercial. -Blud’s belly button gets home 15 mins before he does -"Thank you for making me feel better about my life. - -I may be in financial ruin and fighting a twenty year battle of addictions, but at least I’m still pretty at almost double your age." -"dude, just fucking look at yourself" -He hasn't seen his penis since the 1st grade.😂 -L4D boomer -"Fuckin A dude I know this seems cool right now, but PLEASE 🙏  lose this weight. Doctors are seeing cardiac patients in their early 30s now." -Lord of the (onion) rings -"Fat bastard called, he wants his job back" -"I'd love to roast you, but my oven isn't big enough" -"I think I remember you acting in Indiana Jones, as the boulder" -Hi Kyle -Chocolate milk eh? Ya don’t say! -Never mind the roast. How the fuck did you get this big by age 21? Did you purposely eat fatty foods to excess like a marathon runner trains for distance? -I need to stop drinking chocolate milk. -I'm sick of gross people. -"Mom, is that you?" -"Okay: you don't need a roast, you need Jenny Craig" -"Looking at you made me experience something you’ve never experienced, losing an appetite" -I’m not even trying to roast you and this is probably my first time commenting on roastme but damn man you’ve gotta lock in and lose weight. You are not healthy at all. -His tits are bigger than mine! -When is the baby due? -Nah I mean tbf you do look like a really nice guy like you got a great smile you look like you're pulling hella personality and creativity w u you just need some encouragement and a lil gym and you'll be good to go man the ladies will be all over you trust. Just make the first step💪💪💪 -Supersize me has already been made. -You would be safe in the Amazon Basin. The cannibals there would take one look at you and realize the roasting you would take 7 days to render that shit down. -They poured you into that shirt and you forgot to say “when” -You are a good person and people love you -I understand it’s a picture but your chin doesn’t need to be smiling. -It's easier to dunk on shaq than to surround you -You rollin’ alright. Never drinking chocolate milk again. You look like that thing that Luke milked. -Surprised you could put down your food to write that sign. -If McDonald’s was a person it would be you!!! -"Yep, definitely a Redditor" -Youll be dead by 30. -Why do you actually still exist? -How do you reach to wank? -I shouldn’t have clicked the photo 😐 -You're an 8 literally. -I slap you every time I see you in home depot -Body like someone puked in a plastic bag -"Damn, these could write themselves" -Animal vegetable or mineral? -You look like Jared Fogle. -Your roast is going to come after you aspirate on chocolate milk and your family can’t roll you on your side -"I get being too big for a shirt, but how are you too big for your skin?" -Logic if he wrote 44 more chocolate bars -"You're ""Rollin with it"" because there's no way your legs could possibly support your body weight." -"Gaslit his fart and realized he couldn't be the only one roasting his ass...I think I hear it sizzling, I think I smell it" -"If I’d roast all reddit user would have food for years to come, maybe centuries" -Shirt even has stretch marks -"I don’t whose heart is straining more! - -Yours trying to pump blood round that grotesque carcass or your Mothers for having a son she can’t love!" -"I loved your last movie, Interstellar, when you played the black hole. - -Perfect casting." -What the fuck is this -You literally look like you’re made of marshmallows -"Lmao you unironically drink milk  - -🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮" -You definitely rolling in something -Looks like he wiggles his fingers before he eats -What did that poor shirt ever do to you ? -I can’t figure out which tit is the biggest -I would like to roast you but I do not have a spit that could hold your weight. -Damn shawty obises -Bro looks like a butch lesbian -I don't roast pork until I render it first. -"You look like Jared, but never found subway. still suuuper into kids though." -Discord mod -What does your hat say? -Bro build like a forbidden meatball -Caseoh doppelgänger 💀 -Michelin tire man looking rough -Someone hide the chocolate cows from this man -the only thing booming here is the toilet -"When your diet is nothing but Ms. Buttersworth, you start to become shaped like the bottle." -Are you even able to see your dick anymore without using a mirror? Not that it matters because you'll never actually use it. I'd off myself if I looked like that -"You mean “boom there goes the food, I’m rolling in it”" -caseoh but larger -\*wii obese sound effect\* -Dan schnider -"Brother all it would take is an apple, a spit and a fire and you are the roast." -Where can i buy this beanbag? -Where discipline goes to die. -you look like the kinda person to sit next to the only other person on the bus -"You look like Blizzo, the boy lizzo" -Strongest zombie? I'd stick with you for sure. If we get chased I'll sacrifice you just like Shade did with that fat guy in The Walking Dead. -Bro took the dietary info on chocolate milk as a personal challenge -Jeffry Dahmer glasses havin ass -I hope you accidentally step on a nail -nice rack -You look like you starred as a bean bag in any teenage show about the 70s ever. -Do you squeeze chocolate milk from your tits? -We would be weightless without you -I think life has already taken care of it. -"Mans got a larger gut than octomom - -Edit: and tiddys too" -How'd you find a ring light that big? -Don't trip because you won't be able to stop rolling. -A more unappealing Nikacado Avacado. -"You’re turning violet , Violet ." -"Damn, clearly you need to stop shopping in the little boys section. How in the hell did even get that thing on" -After you give birth to the sextuplets? -"Er - what'd you eat for dinner last night, buddy...?" -The second coming of Dan Schneider -The blob -"Your the strongest zombie? Yea I can tell, its because you ate the other zombies" -Poor guy. I hope you’re having a good day -looks like you ate a horde of zombies -Are you aspiring to star as a marshmello? -How is a 4XL that tight -"Your stomach is so massive, when you sit down, Google Maps marks you as a new continent. Did you swallow a couch, or are you just storing snacks for the next decade?" -"You look like youd order 2 triple cheeseburgers 3 large fries and 20 nuggets from Wendy's, and get a diet coke cause y'know, tryin to be healthier." -Wtf is it? -Pregnant trans man -Got better tits than most the OF sluts posting here. -"You're like a giant misshaped peanut, with bigger tiddies than your average OF female." -Your upper body looks like a backside view of a PAWG. -Oh my gord -Damn Age of Origin giant bots are now advertising inline.. real gameplay… -The see-food diet embodiment -The captain from Wall-e without the cool part -Nice rack -Roasting you would cause a grease fire large enough to end the human race. -you cant hug yourself -Triplets? -Only thing rolling is what's under that shirt. -Like a sad melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day -I bet he envisions himself as the protagonist that saves the world and gets the girls in his films ideas. In reality he eats the girl and the world….cause he’s a piece of shit. -Really didn’t need to mention the milk chocolate thing. -Look like the magic water container in sekiro.... -Are you aspiring to be Michale Moore? -That's a Costco muffin top -"How do you have sex?? oh, I forgot, you never had sex, and never will :)" -Who’s got a good recipe mop sauce -"This is his pose every time he has an orgasm, then he eats a box of twinkies." -Did you swallow a tire? -Someone left the popcorn out in the sun? -"I was going to leave a comment, but I fixated on your beautiful tits and I just didn't have the heart to do it. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Any day now?" -NOBODY STEPS ON A CHURCH IN MY TOWN! -"Click on the picture, it gets worse." -Eat less -"I mean I love my chocolate milk, but it ain't that. Don't be blaming it on the milk." -Shut up fatty I’m trying to enjoy my Saturday evening -You wont fit into the oven. -They measure your 40 time with a calendar. -pat from saturday night live hasn't changed much -Dan Schneider is licking his chops somewhere rn -Reminds me of a nip tuck episode I watched where a lady was literally fused to her chair -It's Pat. -Stay Puft Diabetic Man -It looks like your glasses have a reflection of Cinnabons -Only thing booming is your cholesterol -It looks like he's enjoyed way too much milk chocolate -Jesus. I can't work out where you start or finish. -Built like a bag of dirty laundry. -Guessing there isn’t a full body shot as he has already lost his feet to diabetes -Business of what? Competitive jelly doughnut sucking? -"Forget making a joke about not seeing your dick in years…bro, I don’t think you can see your nipples" -You look like you use a back scratcher to scratch your balls. -”Rollin with it”🤣 -Still smiling after having to leave his toes at his endocrinologist office. -You gonna be in Super duper size me -congratulations on the quadrouplets -You’re not an actor -You straight up look like you ate Jared from Subway. -How you gonna be an actor when you cant even get out of bed by yourself. -"I heard fluffers were back in high demand, and one that can work a cam and a pole. Damn near priceless." -Thought that sign said rib roast -"Don’t postpone things too much, you’ll be lucky to still be alive in a few years" -">aspiring film maker/actor, business issss booming and rollin with it - -My guess is that you make artisanal lard, and are also rollin in it, not just with it" -"if number eight was a person," -Illegitimate offspring of Gorlovka the Destroyer and Blob Fish -"Poster boy for “Trans Men Get Pregnant Too” campaigns. Happy Pride, my friend, and congrats on the triplets! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈" -"Thanks, you just made me decide to exercise" -Donate your organs now. Don't wait for a car accident. -"How old were you the last time you saw your penis just looking down, no mirror? I am genuinely curious." -Don’t have an oven big enough to roast ya buddy. -You look like someone squeezed a raw sausage. -What type of zombie? A bloater? -McFatty -"1,000 Lbs of lard in a 5 Lb bag." -"Thunderthigs are on the loose, thunderthighs are on the run" -A SMALL 1. -bro sweats going down the stairs -"100% has not seen his dick in years, and has to bend over to reach around his gut to find it." -Stop drinking chocolate milk you're gonna die in your 30s -eating makes you hungry -Rollin with it indeed -No shit you can't roll with it -Did Spongebob recently make you upset during a driving test? -Your chins have a bigger smile than you do. -You're simply going to die of obesity. This isn't a roast; it's a wake up call. -Is the name of your business Grubhub? -You got the build of a plate of mashed potatoes. This guy is so stupid he doesn’t even know how to eat food. -"Dude, I can smell the virginity through this photo. :(" -Who is yo baby DAddy? -"Back for your fourteenth post to this subreddit before you inevitably delete it to continue the process, eh?" -I bet your breathing sounds like an EF5 tornado hitting a daycare center. -How fat are you really without the filters? -Dude if we roast you we could have a kitchen fire. -If I roast you it will be over a fire with an apple in your mouth -Dr Now has entered the chat -Twins are triplets? -comment -Belle of the Palsy -"Go buy some face cream, an eyebrow pencil, and some Proactiv. - -Get home. Take the items out of the bag, set them aside, and put the bag over your face. - -Problem solved." -"You might be cross-eyed but at least your titties are pointing in the same direction, south." -"Eyebrows gone to heaven, tiddies gone to hell" -You are my nomination for two SAG awards -You look like Skylar if she’d hit Walt’s stash hard. -If Sarah Jessica Parker was cast as an orc in lord of the rings -If morning breath was a person……. -Your face makes my dick stop working -I wish my brain made my eyes stop working before I stumbled across your pics -"Why are you asking for a roast? You’re already halfway to being a ghost, with those invisible eyebrows and hair fading like a forgotten Instagram filter." -This is what happens when you mix in potato DNA -"I cant mock you, that would be going for low hanging fruit." -Looks like your tits and eyes argue over who’s more lazy -Well now I know which porn category i WON'T be looking at tonight -You'd make pro life people change their minds.  -You could have two guys titty fucking you and theyd never meet. -Something tells me you believe in the power of crystals and astrology. -You look like a draft that Picasso threw out. -"You don’t need us to tear you up, you have a mirror for that" -You look like the type of lady that would date me. -Your nose is so big it pulled your eyes in from the gravity -You look like what would happen if Barbara Streisand and Lois Griffin got put through a meat grinder. -"I feel I've been visually assaulted - PLEASE, buy a bra." -You look like you have end stage fibromyalgia -If an axolotl wished to become human -Plane spotting and train spotting at the same time. -You look like skyler white in a midlife crisis -There's no way that face was ever working. -"This is why I always specify ""west of the Urals only"" on mail order bride sites." -You're so lucky that you don't have to put up with men hitting on you all the time. -Is it just just me noticing her eyes always seem to be focusing onto the tip of your nose -Hope your morals are lower than ya tits! -"One eyes going in the store, the others coming out with the groceries" -I wasn't able to swipe past the 3rd pic. -You look like some cottoncandy in a humid environment -You look like you met your husband on discord and he still left you. -Well congrats on your transition I guess. -Gypsy Nose Blanchard -Boyfriend left her because she was seeing someone else. -The good news is that guys aint gonna be looking at the face -"You look like your pronouns are “Fee, Fi, Fo, and Fum”" -Please tell us you’re spayed or neutered -If only a bra would fix your saggy face. -"Oh a serious note, a dermatologist’s laser thing will remove the rosacea in one session. You don’t have to live with it anymore." -"I’d say you remind me of a Basset Hound, but that’d be offensive to all canines." -You look like the Skyrim npc that no player has ever tried marrying -Keep your glasses on next time you pluck your eyebrows. -You look like a Walmart in Ohio made a wish and came to life. -How you treated Cinderella was not cool. -You look like you let many people milk you -A face that makes meth do meth. -Why are you having a stroke in all 8 pictures -"Thou dost resemble a 14th-century painting of a peasant stricken with the Black Plague, for medical purposes." -Conservative dads in red states DEFINITELY block the women's restroom door when you walk up. -You look like a step mom who forces the kids to watch the View -The Joker 3 coming soon -"''63M'' thar, fixed it for ya" -36 what? Decades? -"Don't lie about your age, you look more like mod 40's" -That color looks terrible on you. What is is called? Oh yeah- SKIN -"If you let your tits drop more, in a few years they might become your balls." -You have natgeo tiddies -"This is the shit you run into at ""Swingers"" hotel takeovers." -How do you look like a giant toddler *and* a grandma at the same time? -Invest in suspenders. Those tits look like a trip hazard -"You look like the Play-Doh people my two year old makes. Every one comes out different and each one worse than the one before, all focusing on different areas of the body but you still have to ask, “what’s that supposed to be?”…. “Oh I see it! Great job, it looks .. so good.”" -"You look like what a Genie would grant if someone wished for a Blue Eyed Readhead with big tits, if there was a catch." -"It looks like your head was smashed in a vise. Your head is so narrow, your shadow looks like a stick figure" -"Mother nature really said ""Lets hit this one with every bad physical feature we can""." -"Quit writing the password for your phone on the bridge of your nose…you’re giving it away. - -Gross tits. Cheers!" -You look like a Jacko-Lantern that some put in the microwave. -Is 36F supposed to be a code for something? Because thats clearly not your Age or Gender -"There's this new thing called breast reduction, your back and we will thank you." -A stray splash of mayo could give you 2nd degree burns 😆 -It looks like all your features don’t get along -"You don't fool me, Barbara Streisand! What are you selling this time?" -36? Ain't no way. -I usually love to say I fucked that girl at the bar but i think id keep you secret so nobody roast me. Which makes me think your a lot of guys secret fuck. -"One eyes going to the shops, the others coming back with the change." -It's Mrs Tishell from Doc Martin. -Has your skin ever seen the light of day? I’ve seen cave lizards with more pigment. -Your face makes my brain stop working - in a not good way -You look like Barbara Streisand in the timeline where instead of singing she's cross eyed. -Last pick has the jokers smile…. -You look out of this world literally 👽👽🛸 -Your face and your chest are competing to see which can sag the most. -👁️👃👁️ -Your face makes me wish my brain stopped working. -how is it possible your face has cellulite? -36F? Or you mean 36M? must be a typo I guess.. -"Lol I like how your bio says you don’t do OF. Yeah, no shit." -If Squidward had accidentally fertilized one of Arielle’s eggs. -When that bra comes off that's when shit gets real. Real disgusting. -You have the only pair of big tits in the entire world that I don’t want to see -"Darling don’t dye your hair anymore. Let the dark ash blonde to grow out. It’ll complement your stunning blue eyes much better than that garbage you’re putting on your head to try to camouflage the acne and the the overplucked eyebrows. - -Then make an appointment for a dermatologist to clear up your skin. - -Finally, go to Sephora about a dozen times and have a different person show you how to apply eyebrow products each time. Don’t buy anything. Come back here and post the various eyebrow looks and let well-meaning internet strangers point out your best look. Then go and have the person who recommended them help you practice with those products and buy them. - -This will take you from a 2 to a 5. - -To get to a 7 come back here and get more help. That’s probably the best you’ll do. Most of us can’t get past that without plastic surgery, a personal stylist, and church on Sundays." -You look like Bette Miller's illegitimate daughter from Temu -"You have a face that only a blind person can l….. - - -Nope." -Your face made my brain stop working -"Are you taking a shit in the second pic? If so, I bet that shit looks better than you!" -Im outta touch...i didnt even know Bette Midler dated Carrottop! -"Mortgage eyes. One's fixed, whilst the other is variable." -You would be perfect at a swingers party most guys would BLEEP 🤬almost any girl you’d fit right in -Pippy Longtitties -Titties longer than the wait times at the DMV... -Sorry I can't roast redheads your lives are already bad enough. -You're cute AF..THE way you are.. -Why the long tiddys? -Bra size 38 extra long. -"Just because you have a yeast infection doesnt mean that if you stick sour mentos up your cooter in the shower, that it'll make a good sourdough starter. Know damn well you're trying though." -Holy water can’t save that face. -Your face is so ugly your eyes look like they hate each other . -"We are not going to roast you today, sir." -You have a face that would make onions cry -Looks like your right eye is trying to invade your left eye. -"Wow, some of you guys really came out swinging , just like her low hanging tits do when she walks across the room." -Big ol tiddays 🤤🤤🤤 -She needs a plastic bag. -"Honestly, I would feel bad for roasting you. You’ve already been dealt a prettt bad hand. Good luck." -"Last time I saw saddlebags like that, was on a horse" -You look like a dollar store version of Barbra Streisand. -Some lucky guy gets to eat her pussy and suck on her tits at the same time. -Username checks out -There's more oil on your face than in p diddys bathroom. -"35. Damn, you got some crazy ass city miles on you. You look more like 49." -"Really nailed the ""I'm white but my kids aren't."" look." -You look like Skyler White after consuming Walt's product. -"At least you have breasts, a guy who looked like that couldn't even wait at the bar long enough to hook up.." -Damn your face made my brain stop working. You look like a practice version of a garage sale Bette Midler. -“But her personality is great” -"Your face is always working, as a global boner destroyer." -Resting Itch Face -Sabrina the middle-aged bitch -Skyler Offwhite -Even the chicken on your phone's cover is thinner than those bags you got hanging lol -Did your brain also erase your eyebrows? -"Do your tits hang low, do they wobble to the flo." -Even your tits are trying to get away from your face... -"And this my friends is the result of generational inbreeding. Think twice the next time your second cousin comes around, I'm looking at you Tennessee." -What in the methlab happened to pic 3? -Why do people put them self thru this or is it some random person stealing there images and have people on Reddit roast them ? -Eyebrows taking a vacation with paid holidays -"What happened? Get your nipple pierced, catch your toe in it, trip and break your nose?" -"You got beforehead, forehead, and afterhead -( I didn’t come up with this I just wanted to use this insult)" -At least you got nice cans. -You look like that fish that looks like a person -"36T. Sometimes my brain makes my face stop working. tear me up! - -I fixed it for you" -"Trust me, we only needed 1 photo." -That face makes my everything stop working -"Your tits aren't even the lowest hanging fruit to roast here, and they are practically dragging on the floor." -That face makes my everything stop working -Do you want to know how I got these scars? -Why the long tits? I mean face… -Which eye do I look at? -Even your eyes are trying to look away from those long tits -Is this what the Joker looks like without the makeup. -How many paper bags do you own? -"Buy a bra with a wire and more support -(my mom mentioned that you need to buy different bras as you age, because you start to sag?)" -This is what I picture when someone mentions a two dollar hooker. -One photo was more than enough. -Your face just says what I'm thinking at all times in public. No roasting from me lol. -damn them titties gave up on you already (as the nipples reach for the clothes line belt you have on) -The teen pregnancy really shows. -When jewish siblings bang -You have a beautifull ass crack ! But you should not show it! -The pictures your doctor gives you when your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. -Schrodinger's eyebrows -If that eye were any lazier it’d be collecting welfare checks. -Please stop I don’t wanna see your face anymore. I’m leaving this subreddit because of you. -I bet your brain does a hard reset when I push the button on your forehead -"It’s like your brain called in sick, and your face decided to take a day off too - -I see your brain stopped working at 36 and your hairstyle stopped in middle school - -I haven’t seen this much regret since I saw your haircut - -You’re the reason they say mirrors have nightmares too - -Your face looks like it’s buffering… please hold for the rest of your expression - -I’m trying to figure out what’s more lost, your eyebrows or your self-esteem - -That hair color is what happens when your midlife crisis and a bottle of Kool-Aid collide" -Atleast some part of the brain realises the reality -Your face never started working. And it already looks like nature has torn you up. -That's another way of saying I don't have a brain -"Are you sure it's not the other way around and your face isn't making your brain stop? I mean, your face certainly stopping my brain from working. Hard to think clearly when you are nauseated." -Finally glad to see what squidwards mother looks like -Didn’t know hocus pocus 3 was coming out. -That’s called a stroke -"Does your brain sometimes make your eyebrows disappear? - -Asking for a friend" -I utterly have no real words for this.. -Thanks for raising my self-esteem -It looks like Bart Simpson and Krusty the Clown had a baby together -Your nose enters a room before you do -63F. -It’s a reason for why plastic surgery is so popular. You fit all the criteria for the procedure -Do you have to get yourself drunk to masturbate? -I can't stop staring at your nose either -"Hey, I think you meant 63F..." -If the Joker transitioned and left his life of crime behind… -Example of why not to do meth METH -i really feel for your kids when you ask them to look them in your eyes when you're talking -Uff. Your face makes my brain stop working. -Gypsy rose skin cancer -"I know this is a roast sub, but damn you guys are a little harsh. - -I would jerk off on your face if my friends weren't gonna find out." -"Sorry for your troubles, love." -Your face made my brain stop working -"Your face is already pretty tore up, not even all of reddit could do any worse" -I bet sometimes your face stops clocks from working -Elastagirl is that you? I think the elastic on your tits wore out -Can I have some milk please? -"I always wondered what the girls in Picasso's paintings looked like. - -Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even if that eye is on the wrong side. - -I have a sudden craving for halibut." -Hey you’re doing fine ! I’m a stroke survivor totally get the brain thing! -Pronouns be 🤢/🤮 -"When a guy nuts on your face do you not wash it after? Or do you let the ""protein"" do its work?" -comment -Was it one blind guy or three different ones? -"You look like someone with a Tinder profile like: - -‘34 with a crazy spirit 🤪 blessed mama of 3 🤰 cute enough to stop your heart, but smart enough to start it 👩‍⚕️❤️ in the Lord we trust ✝️’" -34 going on 58. Is that Italian leather on your chest? -you look like a big part of your year was picking out your perfect stanley cup -34?! Fuck. That's rough. -Lying about her age in an attempt to dodge the warrant… -Nothing that a good paper bag can’t fix. -"From the chest up, you look like a sun dried prune." -"58 yo, mom of 34*" -"Shit you not, you look like Kitty from that 70s show." -Your cleavage looks like the butt of a 60 year old man -64 is the new 34? -"I really like your choice of giant, ridiculous glasses.  They really distract from the wrinkles" -"I used to have this fantasy about having sex with a lady doctor... - -You ruined it." -"You look like in about 5 years you will be behind a desk yelling ""Wazowski! I'm watching you!""" -"Thanks for this! Lately I’ve been hating looking in the mirror because i can see that I’m getting older, but now I have this age comparison and I feel much much better about myself. I’m sorry for your children that they got these genes." -Looks like those teeth have been roasted and smothered in butter! -"No way you are 34, I am 33 and could be mistaken for your child" -"Sorry, could you pull up your pants? That plumber's crack on your chest is weirding me out." -Your teeth look like clear chiclets filled with dirty dishwater. -"If I was laying on a gurney and you were my nurse, your nipples would be in my face" -I can smell your breath -"""HI guys! I'm 34, and dyslexic. Please roast me!""" -The Father of your kids thinks he’s the luckiest man alive. You never told him they weren’t his kids. -34F? That must be reference to bra size -I'm 34 too and thank you. I don't think I look bad anymore. -"You like a Barbara. ""Babs"" for short." -How many grandkids you got? -Those teeth look laminated in father of pearl. -Yall have definitely delivered and I am by far enjoying this 🤣 -With that face it’s a wonder anyone came back to give you kids #2 and #3. -Middle aged Meg Griffin came to life. -You don’t look a day over 60 -"Hi, do you work in meth lab? if so, I'd like to know the status of my order." -Mother of three. With a pussy like a wizards sleeve. -Onlyhams -So it is true that kids age you summat crazy. -Your neckline/upper tits look like a 65 year old's ball sack. There is no way you're 34 lmao. -They must be triplets. I don’t believe someone fucked you three separate times -"All 3 of your kids could fit on that nose. - -If you did cocaine, you would snort verses, not lines." -You wanna be barbara streissand so bad rn -You wish those tits were brains.  -You’re like the only 34 year old the government let’s collect social security. -"You should stick to wearing a mask all the time, your teeth look like kernels of corn." -You look like the nice mum at school events that includes the orphan child and make him feel loved and welcomed . -Stop checking out that new resident and get back to your charts. You’re starting to creep him out. -"I’d say those puppies need to be put down, but gravity beat me to it." -The crease of your tits look like an elephants ass crack -Man I WAS gonna roast you but to be honest I find you EXTREMELY attractive. So no roast here. Keep up the sexiness! -Apparently scientists discovered that each pregnancy advances your biological age by 2 months. Assuming this is true you look like you have around 60 children. -"In the last picture, you look like Kitty from That 70s Show" -"A cleavage up to your Adam's apple, that's an epic push-up bra!" -That fault line is so long it encompasses 3 major tectonic plates -Your titties will be bouncing on your knees next year. -Them bags with sand would stop a flood 😉 -"You’re supposed to feed the kids with those bags, you hoarder." -"Pretty surprised not to find a link to ""spicy content"" on your profile TBH" -Nice wooden dentures! Haven’t seen those since the Civil War. -If your cleavage went up any higher you’d have a cleft lip -Your teeth look like corn flavored chiclets. -I wanna take your teeth to the movies. 🍿 -You have slices of butter for teeth. -Your smile looks like the kid that puts candy corn over his teeth on Halloween. -"You look like the ""fun"" mom who buys your kids beer to get their friends drunk and try to bang them." -If only you spent as much time brushing your teeth as you do on your eye makeup -"Wait, Cabbage Patch Kids grow up?" -Two guys could tit fuck you at the same time and never meet -Nah that's 38G -Life’s been tough huh? -"Thanks for the confidence boost, thank god I’m aging better than you" -"Your bra is the wrong size, probably too large a band and too small a cup (for example, wearing a 38B when you really need a 34D). That's why your bust sags so much in it. - - -Maybe that's not a roast, but it's really obvious in that green shirt. Your bra ain't doing its job. And I say that as a mother who's breastfed multiple offspring for over a decade. Like, my tits are even more tired than yours, and even I can get them to sit up with the right bra." -There's a lot of talk about how millennials don't look their age. You look like what a 34 year old mom of 3 used to look like.  -"Ngl, you'd probably make more money on onlyfans swinging them watermelons around." -You look great mama -I bet you can cook a mean lasagna. -Your look like your bio says “Christian but will suck dick on the first date” -"You're a hot mom and deserve the best life has to offer. - -BOOM!! ROASTED!!." -"With a face like that, all 3 kids had to be conceived doggy style" -Missing an apple in your mouth -And they said that men can’t birth children. -You look like you have a Pixar mom ass -"You look like you'd be hunched over a cauldron, cackling and singing ""double, double, toil n' trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!!""" -Do you have an allergy to non-pretentious eye glasses? If I went out with a girl wearing those I'd be exiting the bathroom window. Wouldn't even care what floor it's on. -Why do people want others to roast them so badly? Honest question. -its a personal policy of mine to not roast single white trash mothers that men do not want to rest their meat in -"Gonna be honest, I can’t roast you your a healthcare worker" -Mom of 3 what ? -"Not that bad tbh, would say that try taking pictures from a different angle" -When did velma from scooby doo become a mom -Honestly you look like the type to be nice to your patients the cuss your kids tf out bc they forget to take the chicken out the freezer -I used to be in an alt-rock band named ‘High Cleavage’ -3 Poor Unfortunate Souls … -U look like a hard headed know it all who has to be the loudest voice in the room because you didn’t get enough attention growing up. -"3 kids, that beef is roasted." -* 44 fixed it for ya -There is no fucking way you are 34 years old. What happened?? -I see one quality that makes you redeemable. 3 kids might have taken that too. -When you're done here go to the mommymilkers/r sub for some more abuse -Your teeth are 50 Shades of Yellow -Looking 20 and 48 at the same time doesn't mean you average out to 34 -Looks like a Non-Binary Vegan protestor for Texas Roadhouse -Has the bumper sticker “This girl runs on coffee and Jesus!” Also your skin is really loose and it made my dog stop eating his dinner when I showed him. -"The secret is she works in the OR. There isn't anything anyone here can say. It's the most brutal, because the assholes are also the smartest kids from college.  - - -Which means she's harder than a coffin nail." -"How am I 4 years older than you but look 10 years younger than you? Just some advice, sunscreen is your friend." -If you’re 34 then I’m still in high school. -Are you related to SongByrd ASMR? -Your nose is shaped like an arrow -"There's just crinkled skin between your saggy tits in that top, but I bet when you take it off there's a belly button between them." -"After seeing picture number two, I no longer want to roast you. Would rather do something else…. Can I get your number?" -You have the skin of a 54 year old -"You have a horrible taste in glasses, and also presumably men. You look like you bring up your pronouns multiple times a day, to anyone who will listen and also to anyone who won't. Your tits appear to have begun forming at your collar bone? Which I am very confused by. Also, at least one of your kids is probably going to grow up to be a complete failure in most aspects of life. That last one is not so much a ""roast"" as much as it is just perceived statistical analysis on my part. In all honesty though, you seem like a good person, and probably a good mom. Might be willing to throw a 4th kid your way, but you'd have to lose those goddamn glasses, otherwise deal's off." -When the coma patients wake up they hear Maury tell them “you ARE the father”. -So you work in healthcare and you still opt to tan 7 days a week so your skin looks like a cheap gun holster. -Those neck folds say 54 -"Look like 34, but in the 70's" -Fucking kitty from that 70s show 🤣 -Definitely an extra on greys anatomy -3 kids makes sense after seeing the second pic 🤷🏻‍♂️ -You look like you’re a substitute teacher -neck high cleavage trend was started by you -Hopefully you teach your kids how to brush their teeth more than you brush yours -ain’t no way you’re 34.. you look twenty years older -Are they your kids or did you just happen to find them on the park? -You're not 34 -I’d suck you tits so softly 🥵 -"As soon as I saw your face, I immediately thought of Yeardley Smith! Not to roast you, but who you remind me of." -"What can you say bad about a woman with huge knockers and lungs in a box. - -They're saggy but damn!" -"You know,if your cleavage skin didn’t have that beef jerky look and you shaved your mustache also if you did something about those dry lips and dirty teeth,you might be kinda pretty." -just trying to see those yams -"I don't think we need to roast you, you make yourself look bad enough already with your choice in glasses." -Your tits are heavier than a god dam truck -"Your personality is ""stupid glasses and cleavage'" -You’re beautiful!! 🥰 -We’re the same age after seeing your photo I had to double check to make sure I didn’t look that fucking old. -Nah. -"Type of woman to hit on male surgeons so they can fix that face. Because that shit doesn’t come without a cost, goddamn." -"Here’s a quarter, go downtown and have a rat, gnaw that thing, off your face." -"Just show them 65 year old saggy tits, that will take them off guard 🤦‍♂️" -Pretty sure you're using one of those vibrating butt-plugs and your facial expressions represent the different speeds. -You look like a nice lady that I don’t want to roast -"You might be a mom of 3, but those titties say otherwise." -Just because you blew your drill Sergeant to get out of KP doesn't mean you're a veteran -Have your kids even met their dads? Do the dads even know they have kids? -Those tiddies are so leathery I thought they were a giant scrotum -Looks like 2 of em came out of that cleavage. -"Mom of 3 single kids? also honey, no cheating, don't lie about your age, there is no way you're 34 looking like that" -"Jesus Christ- leather necks are supposed to be Marines. Also, make better choices when selecting eyewear" -I don’t want to roast you. I just want to pass on my condolences to your kids. -"Pretty face, loose the glasses, get contacts, teeth whitening for sure, great rack" -So much better without the ugly girl glasses -You look like your glasses are probably 90% of your personality. -Those titties can’t distract from those crazy eyes -34f=34 fed -"You'd get more matches on bumble, if all your photos were from the neck down." -You look too kind to be roasted -Them teef got enough butter to bake 2 dozen croissants -I just don’t understand how you are 34 -Did your toddler pick out your glasses? -Bro kinda look like Dobby from Harry Potter 🤣🤣🤣 -You look like you offer to breastfeed children that aren't yours -How many stupid fucking glasses down you have in your collection? You look like some sort or rodent with bowling balls in trash bags attached to your chest. -Not sure if you worked in the pandemic units but your tits have longgggg Covid -No way you're 4 years older than me -"If Utah was a woman, this would be it" -Ever hear of lotion? -Maybe you're dislexic. I think you meant 43f. Or 34F is the cup size? I don't know anymore. -"I’d like to congratulate you on your work with the blind and getting them to bang you, *checks notes* 3 times." -I hope your cute dimples have strong backs because they have a whole face to carry. -"Who tf bred you not once, but thrice." -34? You are cooked -You look like you’re one sneeze away from your eyes conjoining and you becoming a literal cyclops. -You should get glasses that will let you see how bad those glasses look. -Cleavage isn’t supposed to start at your neck -You’re the oldest 34 year old I’ve ever seen. Your teeth smell like caramel popcorn and I failed a drug test just by looking at you. -"I've never seen a woman whose breasts start at the neck. - -But here we are." -You make your kids be trans. -You look awful for 34. Motherhood has been rough on you. You look like a leather suitcase left in the rain and dried out. -Them’s some flapjacks. -"You got laid 3 times? - -Edit- hang on, 34? You look older than my mum, and I'm 38." -"Is this AI generated? The overlapping tooth, the leathery looking chest skin, that creepy uncanny valley smile, the 1000 yard stare...this has to be A.I" -Her display name matches the chest pic. -For $20 she will be your Dr. Feelgood. -The most interesting thing about you is your choice in eyewear -You looked like Joe Pesci transitioned. -That cacti is apt because I'm sure it's dry as a desert. -When you're a 3 kidder looking like 5 kidder. -The poor man's jenna fischer -"You look like you've cheated on your husband with every cop, firefighter, EMT, and male nurse that shows you any amount of attention." -Thank you for your cervix -"I didn't know you could buy ""used"" teeth" -"Pic 1: Damn, someone hit that three times? - -Pic 2: Oh, I get it now." -You look like cartmans mom if she had glasses. -You got the numbers backward. -Pam Beesly's ugly ugly sister -Do your tits dispense buttermilk ? -"The baby daddy pumped and dumped, didn’t he?" -34? Holy shit that's rough. I thought you were in your late 40s. -Websters dictionary picture for “mediocre” -The shaved 3-toed Yeti. -What did you do to get teeth like al bundy? -If I look like that in 2 years I'm going to blow my brains out -That’s a typo…I know you meant 64 grandmom of 3 -"Your teeth… I can only imagine your breath… ozone layers suffer every time you breathe. How in the world are you a mother of 3, there’s a subreddit called dontputyourdickinit.. you belong there" -"30 year olds asking to be roasted have issues. Priorities, I guess..." -You’re too young for your titties to be that wrinkly -Yellow teeth -Heathcare and Army Vet? Finding something unique about you is like a needle in a hay stack -Looks like mid 50s to me. 🧓🏻 -Your neanderthaal brow is literally shielding your eyes from the sun in that first picture. Peggy Flintstone -34fi fum -Didn't think you could post on here without an Onlyfans account -💥 -You look like you have to pay your husband for sex. -Wild you got someone to fuck you 3 times... -Is it 1934? -"It’s not every day I see people who’s teeth and hair are the same color, so props on that" -Had to go into nursing because you were losing money stripping huh? -Something in your eyes bothers me -You could play the mother of Gillian Anderson -"Lady, you look like you ain't seen 34 in over a decade with that wattle. - -Also, I get the feeling gravity has already won the battle between it and those floppers you got on your chest." -34...30 yrs ago maybe -Those nasty ass fun bags aren’t getting you any favors. -"Its a good thing god gave you a great personality, two of them." -34 going on 48. -You look like someone who knows how to properly fold a fitted mattress sheet -You look like you strapped your breasts to your neck -"nice rack, really need to lose the eye bottles" -I think I know you... you from Texas? -That's what 34 looked 70 years ago. -"Wow I'm 34, and you look at least 20 years older than me." -Lamela Beesley -"34 + what? -U got some long ass titties, I bet when u take ur bra off, ur nipples point downward. How are ur teeth white and yellow at the same time? There’s no way ur 34, the wrinkles on ur chest, fingers and around ur eyes screams 50 something" -Cartoon face. -34 going on 44 -Looks like your ex military by your posts. No roast just thanks for your service. -"1st image: ""You got someone to dick you down 3 TIMES?"" - -2nd image: ""Nevermind maybe with a blindfold""" -Rough 34 -Buy dental floss urgently -"if that's what having 3 kids does to you, then I'm glad I have none" -I’m sorry is this the photo of your mom? You’re supposed to post your photo. -Had your braces removed recently? -She's taking care of reddit except for her children lmao -Your teeth are roasting you by themselves -You misspelled 54f. -"You've got to be the oldest 44 year old I've ever seen! - -... Wait you said 34?! LMAOOOOO no wonder you're a single mother" -comment -"The fact you managed to get married, divorced and get brain cancer before you hit puberty is actually impressive." -You’ve got this chemosabe -"Look at the bright side, everybody else is going to die as well" -My condolences to your cancer. It’s pretty lonely in there -"""...Wife left me ..."" So you've had some blessings in this. She clearly was a cancer too. You and life will expel the other cancer too. - - -Oh, and you look like a duck" -Thank you. I opened this up expecting to see everyone tearing me apart and you've all actually shown more compassion than most of my so called family. It means a lot. -At least you’ve not got a lot of body hair to lose! -Wow you’re pretty unlucky. Only one brain cell and it managed to get cancer. -"On the bright side, that brain tumor can't get very big." -Roast in peace -Ex wife was the cancer -I had leukemia. My wife left me because of it. I ain't gonna roast you. You've had enough. Just focus on yourself. Hope you win this fight. -"Send your wife here,we’ll roast her" -"Well, depending on which chunk of brain they have to remove you might not even remember you had a wife or job, so there’s that." -You had 99 problems but now you've got tumor -"Jesus bro, you've had enough this week by the sound of it 😞" -I think you’ve been pounded enough by life’s massive dick. Cancer sucks. -"I don’t care if this is breaking the rules… - -Dude, you’re going through hell…. But keep going. Jobs and partners can be replaced. You are what’s important right now. - -If you ever need to chat, message me and I’ll give you my contact details - -Stay strong brother" -I hope the cancer realises how shit you are and leaves you as well -"So I'm not here for any reason other than to collect the group that's going out to jump buddies ex-wife. - -My mom said she can drive if someone else's mom can pick us up." -"Cancer at your age is very rare, but if it makes you feel better, lesbian relationships have the highest rate of divorce... So you're not as unlucky as you think." -"Nope. I'm just gonna wish you well, you unlucky son of a bitch." -"Damn not just that but you lost all your clothes in the divorce too, that's crazy bro" -"Fuck bro. Yeh I can't roast you knowing all that. - -I seriously hope you recover, build yourself back up, get a far better wife and tell your current one what sort of person she really is. - -Fight hard man." -At least you'll get to meet John Cena -I have a feeling the chemo will improve your looks. -"She’s so stupid, she must have thought it’s contagious like covid." -"I am not going to roast you buddy, just not gonna happen - -Stay strongs, big hugs, keep fighting and do not give up! - -Wishing you the very best and I hope for another roastme from you in a year or two" -"I can't roast you! - - -You're incredibly brave for doing this in the middle of such a shit storm. - - -And you know what it tells me? You're going to freaking beat it! You got this!!" -"soon you’ll remember this as the week when your job, wife and cancer all left you. good luck with the surgery OP." -Can’t roast you dude would rather give you a fucking hug -"One more message before I hop off for the night, to all of you who have sent kind words and comfort- thank you, it truly means a lot. To those who kept up with the roast, ive seen some pretty good ones in there so thank you for the laughs. - -Ive got no clue if its allowed in this sub but im gonna shout out R/Assistance and all the nice people who have helped me and others in less fortunate situations this holiday season, it means the world to me that there is still people out there that care enough to help others like me. Id suggest you go check them out too, no need to donate but a few kind words or some advice can make a person's day. Anyway, thank you all for the laughs and the support. You've made my day." -"Can't do it sorry, all the best to you bro. Hope your luck turns around soon!" -"Bro looks like one of Peter pan's lost boys! - -Seriously tho bro I wish you well ❤️" -"Don't worry about your wife leaving you, she was clearly into little boys. As far as getting fired, who wants to work a 9 - 5 when you're about to die anyway? The only thing actually bad is the brain cancer, but soon enough you won't remember any of it." -Sickness and in health? -I refuse to roast you. I praise you. Fuck cancer fuck that job. And most of fuck that asshole you married. She sounds like she did you a favor. Stay strong young man. -"Is your wife single now? Warning to All single men out there watch out of this woman, she is harmful to your health and may cause cancer. May cause side effects of depression and constipation." -"Man, talk about an overachiever! What do you have planned for next week? FUCK cancer." -"Plot twist: The brain cancer was causing hallucinations of having a wife. - -She was never real OP and eventually you'll get better and forget all about her and the cancer. I know this has to be true because the chances of anyone ever wanting to fuck you are far slimmer than your odds of beating it." -"Sorry I can't,your wife needs roasting -I hope you recover soon" -Life already roasted you OP. Time for a toast instead 🥂 -"Jesus. I hope, for your sake, you’re not also an American." -Im here to roast not to pay a toll to the highway to hell. -"Look at the bright side... if your wife left you, she won't get all of your stuff when the cancer inevitably takes you. - -Seriously though, best of luck in the fight. Come back when you're healthy and we'll roast you properly." -"Enjoy Life, play some Nintendo games, get inspired by Mario's brother." -I bet your doctors have a hard time figuring out which is the tumor and which is your brain -at least you’ll save on shampoo bud -"Chin up! You got this! Beat cancer and then, like your wife, it’ll go fuck someone else. Once you are well enough you’ll be able to get back on your bike and find a better paper route than the one you were fired from!" -"Do not shed a tear for the ex!!! Obviously, she is not mature enough to handle life's struggles!!!! Better to know now!!! The rest, take it one day at a time!! You deserve the best!! - -I apologize for not roasting you, but you deserve many hugs and much love right now and in the future!!!! The best of luck to you!!!!" -"Let's get your wife back for dumping you when you need her the most. Give me her phone number. I will seduce her, make her fall in love with me. I will stretch out her uterus so that it's just a floppy pile of roast beef. I will sleep with her best friend, and steal from her purse. And finally, when she's a crushed and broken woman, I will tell her I did it for the brain cancer dude" -"Damn, I think this man has suffered enough" -"Post your ex-boss’ info, I’d like to “visit” him and “talk” about your dismissal, hang in there" -"No thanks. - -Stay strong, brother" -That's what you get for jerking off too much. -your wife gave you cancer with her diseased vagina then bounced -"I hope this brings you some laughs but I don't feel like roasting right now. - -I'm just wishing you the best, and hope your treatment goes well. - -I've worked for various cancer research institutes and there have been a lot of miracle treatments developed in recent years. Keep your head up." -"I didn’t come here to roast, I just think it’s downright fucking terrible to leave someone who has cancer. And I’m so sorry she did." -"I'm not gonna roast you. - -Beat the crap out of cancer and THEN come back here so we can roast you. - -My DMs are open if you need someone to talk to. -You've got this man! 🤟" -"I'm sorry bro, I can't roast you. I just hope you pull through man. - -Now which motherfucker is cutting onions?" -"You're awesome for posting this of yourself, and I hope you make it through everything." -Are you for real? I’m sorry man -At least you got a nice head of hair….wait…sorry -"Buy a lottery ticket. The odds of all of this happening to someone by age 24 are very low, much less in the same week. - -Don’t let yourself go! Keep parting your *hair* like Sean from Boy Meets World." -I'm sitting in the NIH awaiting procedure for my wife's cancer. Please let me say FUCK cancer. And maybe your wife's timing. Be strong sir. -"Holy fuck. - -When it rains it fucking pours. - -My heart out to you dude." -Surprised the cancer didn’t leave you. -"Look on the bright side, at least you got nothing to live for anyway. - - - - - - - - -Ps: Get well soon" -"you're clearly 14, look like you voicecrack everyday (hang n there)" -You are basically Jesse but with the backstory of Walter white -Have you thought about an autobiographical career in country music? -"You deserve a toast, not a roast. - -If you are still standing after all that, -you are one hell of a strong man." -"It took me until my thirties to get married and get cancer, you're ahead of the curve! Good luck dude, your only job now is to take care of yourself." -Save some bad luck for the rest of us! -"God damn the took you out the bubble and gave you braincancer, what happened bubbleboy?" -You’ll read my best roast only if you manage to survive. So keep going and look forward for my roast. 🍻 -Not doing it. You deserve better than that skank anyways. Hope you pull through big dawg. You got this. -"You will recover and win in the end, best of luck brother!" -"How did you change your username on Reddit? Your account was created “LeCancerDude” 60 days ago, but you only got diagnosed this week, meaning to say you went back to change your username after your diagnosis?" -"Seems to me like your wife was looking for something more long term. - -Stay strong tho 💪🏼" -I ain't doin it bud -til death do us part... -I’m so sorry bud. -Man had a job and a wife at 24.. he's doing better than most . Respect that . Sorry about the brain cancer tho. Hope you get well ❤️ -Oh I'm on r/RoastMe. I was wondering why everyone was being so mean to OP -She wasn't smart enough for you. If she was: she woulda kept a sancho and got the most expensive life insurance she could possibly get. -Married before puberty.. musta been a pitty marriage.. fitting -"God bless you son 🙏 I pray for miraculous healing in the name of God Almighty, ... In Jesus name I pray you end his suffering,, heal him and make him whole again .. take away his mental and physical pain ... Heart break happens ,, I pray that you find the strength to love yourself and know it's not your fault. You are worthy of love... Love yourself and know that if all else fails God loves you too!" -"Shit. I’m sorry to hear it. It too have an unpleasant life (torture) due to health issues. I hope that it’s treatable. I’m sorry, but I can’t roast you. I respect you and I don’t pity you. Best wishes." -Why all the patches all over you? They keep cutting you open to try and find your brain? -"I'm sorry all of that happened to you, but don't fret, you won't have to worry about Anything else much longer............" -"Everyone left you , hope your cancer leaves you too" -u should fall in love with the cancer. Maybe it will leave too. -"Whoa man, that’s a lot in one week. As a fellow brain tumor haver, I bid you all the best in your journey." -"Did your wife leave you cause you lost your job, because you got diagnosed or because you look like the ghost of a malnourished Victorian child?" -Crazy your ex-wife got that unlucky all before you hit 25. -I really hope you recover. You haven’t been roasted to a crisp enough yet. -I bet the brain cancer is the reason you made this post -"Honestly, I’d just shave the hair off and blame it on the chemo at this point. (You’re a warrior bro stay strong 💪)" -"Eh nah, hope it works out for you man." -Don’t worry it will be all over soon. -man thats a bad week as far as things go was it all due to ur cancer ? -I can't. Life already roasted you too much already -Yet your hairline is the worst thing that happened to you -No! I rather give you a hug. -I think life has roasted you enough my friend! -naw I hope you make it through this and find a beautiful wife -"I won't roast you. Brain cancer took my brother and the last thing you need is negativity, you need support not insults." -I’m sorry man! I hope everything changes for the better for you -Brain cancer and still manage to injure your hand jerking off... beat them both! -"It'll be okay, for the rest of us" -Fuck cancer....... especially since no one wants to fuck you. -It'll all be over soon -Wishing you all the very best mate. -"When you’re going through hell, keep going. - -No roast, you got this." -"Be strong, wish u the best ….i think life roasted u enough" -You look like you call for the nurses alot -Cancer is running through you like a train of guys are running through your wife. -"On the bright side, you’ll be dead soon." -Stay strong brother! -"Huh, sound like it’s time to drink and screw your way into the next life" -"Nah man, keep fighting... Let her be for the streets you deserve better than that. Keep that head up high. - -Wish you all the best" -If you got fired for missing time due to brain cancer lawyer up and make them pay! -"Look on the bright side, the brain cancer will help you forget that your wife left you for being being a failure at living.. - -Seriously hope for a recovery, you are a trooper for getting on here and doing this, you got this brother don’t stop fighting!" -End your suffering? Dude you’ll beat me to it -Get well soon and kick cancer and her ass. Reason to live -That's chemotional -at least you got something in your head -At least there will be no loose ends to tie up. -"Fuck talk about a draw. You lost on the cancer diagnosis and won on the ole bitch leaving. no need to roast, we will do that after your healthy. Now get on tinder and find a meat sling for the recovery" -Not gonna roast you. -"keep on going bro, i hope you recover soon. stay strong. just focus on yourself. if your wife left you because of your cancer, she wasnt the one. -get well soon my guy, drop a dm whenever u want to talk" -"At least you got your, never mind…." -"Shame you weren’t a few years younger, might’ve gotten a free trip to Disneyland" -"Don't worry, it may hurt now, but be sure it won't last for very long." - I thought this was r/Roastme not b/Beat cancer?Also prayers but you ugly ASF. -"Hey, if nothing else, the adhesive from those electrode stickers will always be with you" -"You look like you haven’t taken a solid shit in weeks. - -Fuck work, one less thing to worry about. - -Fuck your ex. One less thing to worry you. - -You will find out who your real friends and family are when you come out of this happy and healthy at the end. Hang in there." -I thought you had to have brains to get brain cancer -"Don't worry, I'm sure the cancer will leave you too." -I hope the cancer leaves you as fast as your wife did. -Things can only get better! -Not going to roast you... fuck that bitch! -"I can’t get past how bad his hair styles are. It’s like he’s got brain cancer or something. - -(Good luck dude, I have a good feeling in my gut about you)" -"Your wife left you before you left her, smart." -"I can’t really find the guts to roast you, man. Hang in there and hope you beat this." -"Nah bro, I can't do you like that. I'll toast you instead. Your fucked, but I love you ❤️" -I'm pretty sure God will be the one ending your suffering. -Keep your chin up... Atleast it didn't happen all on the same day -":( I ain't roasting you dude, you look very sad. I hit a pretty bad rock bottom last year, it only goes up from here" -We don't need to roast you. The chemo will do it for us. -"You look like a miserable C\*nt, all the best, good luck!" -">""end my suffering."" - -Bud the cancers gonna beat us to it" -Can’t roast this. I’m sorry you’re going thru all this. Why did your wife leave? -"You look like a cancer survivor! - -Keep your chin up, keep your thoughts positive and when you get better I'll roast the shit out of you motherfucker!!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥" -"You had a wife?!?! Did she live in Canada? - - -Oh - and you're going to kick the shit out of this cancer." -What does his cancer and his wife have in common? They are both all in his head…. -"As someone who has picked ""this is the day"" a few times a week for the last 3 months. - -Fight. You've got this. Life is worth living. ❤️" -"You look like my english teacher -He was gay" -Stop feeling sorry for yourself! -"Look at it this way, If you make it through this. There's absolutely nothing life can throw at you afterwards that you won't be able to handle." -No. You’ve been through enough. -"Listen my guy, you've been roasted three times by life. I don't know if I can offer up anything on your triple roasted shit. But hey - at least you have your hair ... for now." -"Unfortunately, life already roasted you, I got nothing." -Such a noob neither an alcoholic or gambler -But when you make a comeback .. it's over for them . Godbless you . -OK BUT ARE YOU OK -"Damn homie….i cant do it. - -Really hope things start looking up. Like sincerely I do" -Got fired and the wife left? Sounds to me like a chance to finally do some living -Alternate Reality Tom Brady. -"Bruh, that’s 3x on ya already. You’re just a young fella, too. Can’t do it. Much fuckin love, bud." -"Hahaha, you’re not old enough to get this joke, but I’m doing in in the voice of Steve Case: - -“Welcome! You’ve got brain cancer!”" -I couldn’t imagine leaving someone while they’re deathly ill. 🤧 -"Don't go to any casinos, you are very unlucky and your money will leave you, just like your wife" -Username being LeCancerDude is fucking insane bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭 -"Instead of roasting you imma roast your cancer and shit job and wife, this was an awakening, you're getting rid of shit from your life, if your work and wife didn't stand by you when you're sick then they're shit and good riddence to both and the cancer they all in the same bucket. so here's the plan: - -1- get better. -2- get a better partner and a job. -3- get back here to us so we roast you for real after you get better. - -I can tell you got this and you're gonna ace it." -Damn. She even got the shirt off your back. -You beat cancer once (your wife) and you’ll beat it again! -Bad shit comes in 4s just wait till next week also no need to roast u the chemo will. Jokes aside ur young u got a better chance than most to beat it -I’m praying for you. Focus on healing. -Damn. Respect bro - I’ve never seen anyone ruin the rest of their life in a week. -"That's God saying she's not the one, You probably didn't see the signs at first so he gave you brain cancer. You need to move on from her. You'll find better things." -How can I roast you when you’re already cooked. -I guess you could say that’s a big brain move -"Fuck that job for not letting you enjoy your early retirement and in the nicest possible way, I hope your ex wife dies before you do." -Damn son. First a video of Diddy raping you circulating through Hollywood now this 😔 -"Can't do it, man. Just can't do it. Good luck." -God bless you brother in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth ✨✝️❤️ -"Pretend the cancer is your dick and beat it. Just not so hard, or every hour" -I hope yourr a lefty -The only thing worse than a masochist is a masochist who’s never satisfied. -All before you’re out of middle school?. -"cancer will end up leaving you too, from the sounds of it. - -on a serious note, you’re a hell of a good sport and clearly have a fighting spirit. i cant make any comments on your wife, other than im sorry. fuck cancer tho." -"My guy, if you make it through all of this you will be one of the most resilient and strong people on the planet. You're a weakling now, but the potential is great!" -"Fuck your wife. The comeback you’re going to go on, will be the greatest of all time" -We’ll let the chemo do the roasting. Get well soon brotha -Minecraft weddings aren’t real weddings - No I don’t think i will -"Look on the bright side: … - -… - -see more…" -You’ll be roasted well enough in the crematorium soon. No need to add to that -🫂 -"Don't worry, you're so dislikable even the cancer will leave you soon too. - -Seriously though, good luck, and don't give up." -At least you look young enough to star in a Disney series as a teen in highschool. -"Well, joke is on her. You’re about to not have that stupid fairy haircut and ridiculous eyebrows anymore. -Also, you’re an American, so this will clearly bankrupt you. -Dont let the divorce go through until it does. Like….. MASSIVE (shared) debt. In fact, you should probably take a credit card out right about now." -Oh so u got cancer? are u gonna make it ur whole personality now? u/LeCancerDude -I'm sorry that the brain chemotherapy byproduct got rid of your imaginary wife. -"Did your wife know she was married to a child from the make a wish foundation, or was that your wish before you died, to marry a hot older lady?" -You look like the inventor of stage six cancer. -Someone roast this man before he roasts his victims -Write a country song and become a millionaire 🤷‍♂️ -Is it legal to be married when you’re 12? -take out a few CEOs before please! you can win free health care -"That’s a busy week for a 12 year old. - -I hope you’re ok though." -Your country album is gonna be fire -Sounds like nature is taking care of this before my comment will. -By “wife” do you mean your wounded hand? -"As a healthcare worker please listen to this, check out cancer centers if America for treatment. Every hospital claims to have ""the most advanced cancer treatment"" it's bullshit. - -I took care of a patient about 6 years ago that seen a commercial from cancer centers if America ""before many other healthcare systems sued them as they were talking to much of their business"" he called them they flew him there gave him and experimental treatment and he was completely cured. This was for thyroid cancer not brain cancer. But you get the idea. - -What I'm saying is do your research and don't believe any hospital at face value because they just want your money......" -"I know this won't be popular because of the reddit but as someone who had surgery to save my life after an IED fucked my liver and kidney I hope you are ok. - - Fuck cancer and good luck." -Was your wife the tumor? -#Your wife left you? Now you are cancer free buddy. Cheer up -"I’m not going to roast you, chemo will do that instead" -"Villains aren’t born, they have one bad day/week" -Bro is addicted to chemo -Life has roasted you enough as is -"Give the brain cancer a chance. It might grow on you. - -Good luck, homes." -"Divorced with cancer is something you do at 50, not 15" -Looks like this guy found the sticker drawer -"Stay strong, fuck your wife and job, you will recover and find better wife and job so you would make your ex wife and boss jealous." -"Idk but if it makes you feel better , you're handsome🤷🏻‍♀️ you could be going through all this AND be ugly on top of it😬🤣" -I’d end your suffering but your cancer is kinda beating me to the punch. -"Not everyone gets their cancer to divorce them. -Sucks about the diagnosis. -She sounds worse than the cancer, so you are halfway better." -I just can’t. I’m sorry -Good luck brother hope u believe in some kind of Higher Power -"Not here to roast, just want to tell you to stay strong, God bless you bro!" -"You my friend will absolutely beat this cancer, then we (all) can beat your ex wife" -You're a soldier bro 💪 -"The first photo looks like startled Michael Pitt, the second like anaemic Joseph Gordon Levitt; take comfort that your fate could change as easily as the celebrities you resemble under different lighting. - -Hope things improve for you, and fast. 🙏" -I hope you live a long healthy life and fall down the stairs with 80 -"There is no way to roast you. You've gained more life experience and endured more pain in a week than most will endure in a lifetime, yet you're still standing and fighting. You deserve respect and recognition. I wish you all the best dude." -"I went thru this at 23. They told me I had a 20% chance of living, and I survived. I was in thst hospital almost 2 years. I got home and she said, ""they told me u were gonna die...."" i left that night, gave her everything, and when I got my breath back from the shock, started building a life. That was 40 years ago. Today I have the most amazing wife, great job, awesome friends and the two best dogs ever. Youh ang tough. My buddy I met at the hospital when I got there said, ""whatever my future is, I'm kicking ass on the way"". I'm telling you that. I'm here Brother." -That's gotta be a world record -"cant even roast you, your life js went to shit" -I didn’t know guys got married before being old enough to grow facial hair. -I hope you’re left handed! -I don’t wanna be on this sub anymore damn -Hang in there buddy. You’ve gone through more than most and you’ve made it this far. -"Don't focus on the ones which hurt most.. -. -Ohh wait.. You there? Or Am I late to give condolences to you?" -"Hold your horses cowboy, the week is merely halfway done - - -PS: Cheers for keeping your head up through this." -Why is each of your facial features a different age? -That's a lot for a 12yo to go through. Thoughts and prayers 🙏 -I hope it gets better mate -I hope your cancer leaves you too. -"No i can't roast you buddy because I wanna be your friend ( not be creepy) -You need friendship, I know things are horrible but I wanna be your friend too... I know this is a roast me page but come on dude, i mean look at yourself.. You're hurt.. You need a friend and Ima be your friend.. Idc what other people say.." -"Look on the bright side, with chemo you will be able to get rid of that terrible haircut for free!" -"r/13or30 - -r/Swordorsheath" -"Oh man, but you've been ugly for as long as you've been alive so at least that blow should be a little softer." -U got this homie ! Praying for u -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->My top three movies are Goodfellas, The Big Lebowski and Alien. -> ->My hobbies include collaging, screenwriting and making playlists. -> ->I have two cats. One’s a dumbass, one is scared of everything. - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -This is a first person view of what getting chloroformed looks like -Nice of you to take a break from strangling prostitutes to be roasted on Reddit. -Unemployed plumber on multiple sex offender lists -I'm not worried about you as much as I'm worried about the children who are most definitely in that basement with you -You look like you lose your shit when mom forgets the bagel bites. -Dollar store Stephen King. -I bet you’d ride your bicycle two hours to hook up with a minor. -No feelings but lots of bodies chillin in his deep freeze -How's that manifesto coming bro? -If Dwight Schrute had even less charisma. -You're telling me this isn't the cockaroach alien from men in black!? -POV final moments of the local girl scout troup. -You look like you preform DIY lobotomies with a power drill -It puts the Lotion on the skin. -Looking like the Dunder Mifflin Assistant to the regional manager. -"You and your brother David Harbour from Stranger Things both had run-ins with the law. David's was due to being a cop for Hawkins, and yours was from kidnapping kids from Hawkins. - -Kids from Hawkins are more terrified of your ""upside down""." -"You look like the kind of person that isn’t allowed with 2,000ft with schools or parks" -"Oh good, that means someone winding up under you floorboards wasnt personal. What a relief." -"Dude, do you take guys home, drug them, and then eat them?" -Somehow I hear a lisp when I look at this picture. -Your statement is correct because you do look like a psychopath that just hid a body and this is some attempt at an alibi. -Release the captives and come out with your hands up man -"If a white, windowless van was a human being." -Definitely at the strip club on a Tuesday morning -Please shut that locker door so we don't see the dead body parts -Identity theft is not a joke Jim! -Having no feelings must help with your hobby of mass murder. -You look like the only feelings you WOULD have would be directed at someone that would have to show investigators where you touched them on a teddy bear. -"Oh, we can tell." -Your freezer never runs empty does it -I’m certain that basement you are in is the brightest star on Megan’s Law….. -walmart version jeffrey dahmer -"Hide your gay minorities, Dahmer has a brother apparently." -You look like if Matt Gaetz was somehow more of a sex offender -You look like you try to lure children with funny stories and candy -I’ll bet you’re a menace at your local daycare -You definitely masterbate to Dahmer documentaries. -Dahmer wants his glasses back -Jeffrey Dahmer in his middle age -Please forward that statement to the parole board. -"I dare you post pics of your basement - -Edit: I'll bet you'll start having feelings after it" -"You have the face of Stephen King, the hair of Chris Isaak, and the mouth of a stroke patient" -I thought you were Matt Gaetz for a second or three. -You look like the guy who would eat Jeffery Dahmer - you better be good with computers bruh thats the only reason to look like the IT guy for the main villain in a movie -The face only a sex offender registry could love -"O. M. G. - -!!! - -It’s one of the stars of Love on the Spectrum!!!" -Fatt Gaetz -This is definitely the dude that takes the “where is my hug” approach to any women he encounters -I’m guessing that your job is 3rd shift dildo quality control tester. -You got no bitches either. -"Dollar store Jeffrey Dahmer, Jeffrey Dumber" -You'd have to have no feelings brushing your hair back with a smelly old shoebrush -"Are the Stranger Things kids in the basement with you, Sheriff?" -Phillip Seymour Hoffmannish -Lookin like Geoffrey Duhmber -Depression Dwight -yeah i dont feel like it today mr fivehead -I guess roasting is the opposite of what you do to your victims. -"You have no feelings? Yes, and you're also ugly!" -This is definitely kiefer sutherlands brother or cousin -When you shop at the same gap as Jeffrey Dahmer. -Inmate Matt Gaetz. -Neither did your victims. -You look like the older brother of bubbles from trailer park boys -Dwight is that you? -Neither do your houseguests after you roofie their drinks do as you please to them -Think I saw this guy on the show Forensic Files. The bodies are under the sub floor -Hopper really let himself go after stranger things -Is Jeffrey dahmer your father? -You look like you drive a windowless van -That explains the heads in the freezer then. -You look like the reincarnation of Dahmer -Dollar Store Dahmer -Highschool janitor. On the back of that card. is a creepy letter he wrote to a cheerleader hes about to drop into her locker he opened up. -Identity theft isn't a joke jim -This is what you would get if you ordered David Harbour from Temu -"You: *walks inside house* - -Chris Hansen: Have a seat." -"Here we go, I'm not surprised you ain't got no feelings probably because too many people have dissed that hairline that goes further back than British History Ever Could. Also let's turn that frown upside down then we'll be MAYBE able to remove the 18+ symbol. We could ramp it down to a 17 and 11 months+ symbol. :D (By the way, I don't mean this)" -Fat Jeffrey Dahmer been eating a lot more of his victims -The uncle we all wanted to go see when we were kids but our moms were weird abt it -You look like Jeffrey Dahmer's less successful older brother -If Dwight Schrute were a sex offender -Can't.... still scrolling thru your forehead -Ali express LA Beast -You look like the dude from king of the hill -If Michael C Hall and David Harbour had a love child this would be it -David Harbour(ing a dark secret) -No feelings you say? Never would’ve guessed that from the love child of Ed Kemper and Jeffery Dahmer 😂😂 “Don’t get my Zapples going mother or I’ll poor boiling water in your skull!” -You look like an off brand bubbles from trailer park boys -Third understudy for Dwight Schrute. -"You've got to have a pulse to have feelings, you ghoul" -I would roast you but that’s jim halperts job -He knows what freezer size to buy for a whole family -Who let Canadian Jeffrey Dahmer use reddit -Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. -great value dwight schrute -GTA 5 Lester planning out the next heist 😎 -You spelled friends wrong -Dollar store Jack Black -You’re looking at the camera like you want me to roast you like one of my French girls. -"You may have no feelings. - -But the two women you have chained up in your basement dungeon do. Let them go." -"It’s Stephen king, without the talent." -You look like you're gonna put me in a hole in the ground and demand that I moisturize my skin....before you wear it. -Hey Matt gaetz looking rough there -"No feelings, but multiple children in the basement" -"Like a low rent Jack Black. - -Jick Blick." -Dwight Schrute from The Office and Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys had a love child. -Jack Black for poor people. -Bro looks like his name is Kevin💀 -You look like that crazy ice cream guy out of the filmthe burbs -"A rare glimpse of typical Reddit moderator, that still trades Logan Paul cryptozoo to this day, while dead grandma sleeps in her cozy bathroom tub upstairs, with discarded febreeze aerosol cans on the bathroom floor." -"We know that's you, Matt Gaetz." -Did you ever strangled prostitutes ? And how many did you strangled ? -"Is that Hannibal Poindexter? You look like John Wayne Gacey and Jeffery Dahlmer fucked, had a baby, pissed on it, and ate the corpse." -"When are you planning on murdering me, abusing the corpse, and then eating me? Asking for a friend." -You're not allowed near schools anymore aren't you -Carful the last person that roasted him ended up in his basement. -you look like a child predator -Your life must consist of Raisin Bran and Vaseline -Jeffrey Dahmer -You look like a botched abortion! -Chester Dahmer -I've never seen anyone who looks more like an electrician in my life. -You are beautiful. I have no insults to give. -If Jack black was a discord mod -you look like the guy from dirk gently who kidnaps lidia -3 is your count so far. I can tell by your fingers. I’m going to report you to the police. -Dwight k schrute -"You got no feelings and no bitches. - -Tuff" -Bro If I roasted you the house would smell for a week -Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs should not be your hero. -Discount Dwight Schrute -Your forehead is reeeeally big. -Cool basement. How are the bodies doing? -"Even if you had feelings, I wouldn’t care. -Is that your moms basement by the way? -Or does your wife make you stay there when her boyfriend comes over?" -Ooooff.... Your picture is roast enough. -You look like Trevor from Grand Theft Auto if he was in a Mike Judge cartoon about involuntary celibacy -This post reeks of boiled eggs and dirty laundry. -You have no feelings because your face scared them away. -Deep-fried Dahmer -Microwave rodent POV -I can't tell if you're giving off mad scientist or crazed psychopath vibes with that hair -"i can smell the BO coming off of you. - -also ""I DoNt HaVe FeEliNgS"" you are not a 13 year old emo girl. shut yo ass up" -"I’d roast you. But I’m afraid you’ll track me, hack me and up and wear my face. You’ve got those vibes yknow…" -If Dwight Schrute was assistant to the regional manager for Walter White -You look like kirkland brand Steven King -Looks like this pic was taken in the basement where you keep your victims. -Your mum has no feelings otherwise she wouldn’t have kept you -"""No feelings"" and those frames are both sociopath symptoms." -"Go back to your discord kitten, discord mod" -Jeffrey Dahmer if he was a chubby World of Warcraft player. -Bad Boy Bubby. -David Hasselhoff at home -You look like you would smell like pickles that went bad. -jeffery dammer lookin mf 😨 -I just wanna take some pictures -I guess Napoleon Dynamite has fallen on hard times. -You look like if every sexual offender ever did a fusion dance -Ur not well.. nut well.. butt well… -You look like a bus driver and a guy with no drivers license -"I’m not sure if you’re Trevor or Lester from gta, but both aren’t exactly flattering" -p3dophile. need i say more. -You're momma dresses you funny. -How have you evaded the authorities all these years? -I’m getting John Wayne Gacy love child vibes -You need your own personal Real Estate Professional for that Forehead... I can send some references Bro -"Look everybody, it’s dollar store Hank Green" -Your ideal first date is dinner and a taxidermy. -"makes sense, looks like you sold them for children" -Eyes as dead as the ones he keeps in jars in his basement. -"You look like a failed clone of Andy Warhol, with bill hader's DNA filling the gaps" -This man has at least one head in his freezer -Then why are you attention seeking here -Local sex offender -David Harbours mentally challenged brother who enjoys long walks on the beach and touching young boys. -Knock off stranger things -This face is the last you gonna see bevore you're light goes out -Creepier looking Jeffrey Dahmer. -For women your age. -What is your last meal on death row going to be? -Last thing you see before you’re his 7th victim -Fuck off Bubbles -What Matt Gaetz would look like if daddy wasn't monied -If Lester from gta could walk -The look of one of those whose soul died years ago of boredom -Hey leonard hofsteder sorry i took penny from you but the pussy was too good -You look like the church version of king cobrajfs! -Stephen King with less looks. -I can’t. I’m just not comfortable insulting women. -U look like that guy from the office. I forgot his name. You look very forgettable as well tbh -Look like the fat Cohh Carnage -It puts the lotion on its skin -you remind me of the present from monster's vs aliens. -moderator of multiple places -Bro looking like Lester from GTA 5 -Stephen King. You look great. Haven't seen you in a while. Apparently you're still writing books in your creepy looking stone mansion with your typewriter. -Did you take this picture before or after you lowered a basket of lotion to a woman in a pit? -Jeffery dhamer vibes but way uglier -We found our actor for the live-action Earth Worm Jim. - Getting Fired from a Huey Lewis cover band hits a guy hard don’t it? -No feelings and bodies in the basement -Everything on your computer is evidence in a future legal case. -What's your favorite Q Lazzarus song? -How do people taste? -You look like the character design mock-up for Doofy from Scary Movie. -"It’s like God blended Jeffrey Dahmer and Jim Bruer together and poured him into the same mold he used to creat Steven King, and then forced him to be raised by a catholic orphanage. Which begs me to ask, how many barrels of bodies do you sit on while writing horrific jokes that you plan on adding to your morbid movie script about something weirdly entertaining and kinda funny at times?" -jack black from wish -Dwight Schrute has fallen on hard times. -How many bodies? -I could roast you but my grill cant fit fat chunks of meat like you. -So what kind of van and imaginary puppy do you have? -Yeah you look like you have no feelings -Dexter Season: its just sad at this point. -Okay Dwight. -Gawd dahmer… -"It's difficult to have feelings when your photo looks like somebody who just escaped an asylum, I suppose." -Why do sex offenders always wanna be roasted? -" -He looks like lebard from the big bang theory" -"You don’t have a double chin, more like a bakers dozen chin." -"The ""at home"" version of Lester from GTA" -I know you stick your fingers in the peanut butter jar. -What you get when you order Matt Gaetz from Temu. -It's Egon from Ghostbusters! You ugly fuck -"If you have no feelings, then no roast will do you more dirty than life already has. Your eyes look tired, hell, your entire face looks tired. That part’s not even a roast, it’s just a fact, and I honestly feel bad for you. It’s a shame that you don’t feel bad for yourself, because if you did, you might be driven to fix some of the things that are going wrong in your life. I hope you recover well." -hairline retired -You like Matt Gaetz after he gets out of politics and has to go in the witness protection program. -you look like you’ve met chris hansen -"Who would dare roast the creator of the classic, shower with your dad, simulator? This guy's a legend! - -(It's on steam)" -You look like the Matt Gaetz we have at home -"Awwwww my dude, your ""I have no..."" list is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than just ""feelings"". - -Way longer !" -You look like a Shrute -Is that you Matt Gaetz? -David Harbour if he liked diddling kids -How many children have you dated exactly? -You look like a cutaway scene stunt double for that guy from The Office. -You look like the Walmart version of Jack Black left unattended with a razor and an ozempic abuse issue -You look like Hopper from stranger things if his daughter survived and he became the average dad. -You look like the love child of Bill Hader and Jeffery Dahmer. -Last image you see before your vision fades into black. -"Huh, so Jeffrey Dahmer had a Son" -You're grandpa's been calling. He wants his glasses back. -"“I have no feelings, don’t worry”. Yes but the girls locked in your basement do OP. Please release them.." -"We’ve got a new Dennis Radar on our hands! - - 🤐🪢🔪🩸" -Where’s 11 -"Well, if you ever want to affirm no contact, just say that you have no feelings." -Looking at your face i fucking believe you -"Are you playing jeffery dahmer in a lifetime movie or getting ready to take your sex registry mugshot? Either way, you are nailing it." -You look like that gross orderly from Terminator 2. -Bro has a 5head instead of a forehead -Drew DontCarey -Single moms avoid you -You live in your grandparents basement? -I bet Chris Hanson has asked why you have wine coolers and a package of rubbers -Your hairline -"""It put the lotion in the fucking basket""- this guy, with no feelings" -Getting some strong Dollar store Dahmer vibes here. -He's definitely got bodies in his mom's basement.. -Are you a Linux System Administrator ? -What are the chances that this guy has people locked in his basement right now? -Keep the children away from this man... That's not even a roast... Stay away from kids dude 🤨🙏 -Yet you still sadly have a face! -Sex offenders are offended by him -Whos feeding the people in your basement whilst your posting? -So you have the same amount of feelings as the freezer of dead homeless people in your basement. -David Harbouringachildintheirbasement -"You still have your virginity -So there’s that" -Hey look Jeffrey Dahmer had a kid. -It’s a $65 Uber ride from your eyebrows to the top of your hairline -You look like a dumb version of Steven hawking had a bastard kid with Jeffery dahmer -You look like you can't cum unless you're choking someone. -It puts the lotion on its skin -Dwight how's the beet farm? -You work on Shrute Beet Farm dont u -Do you own a beet farm? -u look like a nice guy -Please don’t eat me and make a lamp out of my skin -Shrute farm employee. -"The good news is, if they do an office remake, you could audition for Dwight." -Jeffrey Dumber -Rainn Wilson on meth. -You are the immoral genius sidekick of the evil robot designer who’s plotting to take over the world. -No feelings and no sphincter tone. -Buffalo Bill is back. -Dwight?? -Maybe dust off your lunch crumbs before taking a picture… -Child molester who records it in your basement. -Holy shit ! Wish’s version of Jeffrey Dahmer. -If Bubbles from trailer park boys was the bad guy in 14 Cameras -You look like Matt Gaetz if he were in his 50s and didn’t have rich parents -Dan Akroyd has fallen off hard. -Train collection doesn’t have a spec of dust -comment -Enjoy your math. It’s the only multiplying you’ll ever do. -"Well, if this is after the surgery that went bad, I can't imagine what you looked before that." -Your butt looks like an obtuse triangle. -"Ah, the classic roast me followed by an 'I'm starting an OnlyFans' post. - -Save yourself the trouble. If a guy ten years older than you wont stay with you, no one is going to pay to see you naked." -I bet Cream Pi is your favorite number. -pythagonorrhea theorem -You're best photo is where you cover your face... Stick with it . -Your boyfriend is like the square root of a negative number. -">surgery didn't go as planned - - -No amount of surgery can fix that face" -Is this still r/roastme? -"Face down, ass up, and still yet, no one wants to fuck." -">Surgery didn't go as planned - -Gender reassignment surgery? I'd say it went well. I could barely tell you're a guy." -You’re a math major so it should be easy for you to subtract yourself from our lives. -If the surgery was a nose job you better sue -"TITTIES - -​ - -Oh nice light green 2 o'clock mustache shadow" -"You are ""open to selling content""..... Why? To get some validation from strangers so you...feel better? The fuck. This is sad and pathetic. Stop the victim mentality and bullshit. You're 21. Life is hard. You are weak. Stop being weak. - -If a zombie apocalypse happens you are not a part of my clan." -Classic butterface. -Please continue covering that face with your phone. -Still fat. -"I know you’re asking to be roasted but “find out hard to continue” is troubling. You should seek help and realize “f this the rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.” You are loved and (even if it doesn’t feel like it) would be missed by those loved ones. It will get better. -BOOM! Roasted!" -"How much maintenance time do you think you spend on your unibrow? - -Edit: Off topic but its fucking scary how many average/basic women are selling their nudes online. I see it so often on here that I feel like I probably need a checklist filled out before dating a girl. - -Seems like the only ambition she has in mathematics is how much her photos are selling for. Imagine if she actually gets a degree and teaches, and her students aka your kids are buying her nudes after being taught division. - -Imagine also selling your dignity for a yearly total of $40. Obviously shes in another country so its probably hella money for her, but damn." -Seeking attention not gonna solve any of your problems -"Like logarithmics, nobody wants to see it, try to understand it or use it more than once or twice before they forget it forever." -"When I saw there was a second image to swipe to, I told myself, ""bet money it's another image of her cleavage to distract from her nose.""" -"""surgery didn't go as planned""? Nah, you'll pass for a dude. No worries." -How did your Surgery not go as planned? Dick still attached? -You can probably sue the doctors for messing your face up like that. -"I’m sure if you got back to getting drilled harder than a Midwestern oil field by older guys, you wouldn’t feel so bad." -With that forehead? The worse is already ahead -"Shill your ""content"" elsewhere, slob" -I gotta ask. What the f@ck is up with that painting on the wall in the second pic? It jumped out quicker than your oversized ass -If a potato were a person. -"I like the pill necklace, lets people know they need to be sedated to be able to deal with you" -"Sex equation for you: -➕bag over head, ➖ clothes, ➗legs, and holy shit, there’s a dick….no way I’m ✖️ing" -"Let's do the Math, back after only 6 months ago, now includes an ass shot...." -"Another basic bitch selling her nudes -No one wants to see ur meat faps -What surgery did she I'm guessing she's a lady boy -Maths major counting how much cock u have sucked dosent make u gd at maths" -Your nose looks bigger than your tits -Your clotshots could kick in and you'll take an sudden heart attack or stroke. -"Looks like a math major, smells like a math major, frumpy like a math major. Definitely a math major." -Yes you could die -If the surgery was turning a sloth into a human they almost nailed it -This one again Jesus Christ you’re ugly get over it…half of us are too but these girls won’t stop. -Looks like you shart your thong and split your shit in two. -"If you think you even remotely comprehend now what a hard and lonely life is, you're not gonna make it, yo. Grow up, and leave the child daycare you enrolled in and start welding. - -Be an actual human being, you ditz" -What surgery -You 100% fucked your professor to get a better grade -Came to roast stayed to ask you to marry me.. -YOU ARE SO PRETTY -You peaked 4 years ago. -Prayers for you to get your surgery and get better. -You look to good to be lonely -I can keep u company -You have a great ass -Your looking great -Please don't multiply.....yourself -"Poor Unfortunate Face, Body definitely deserved better." -Very Beautiful Just Saying 😊 -"Girl, look at you! You're super pretty!" -You definitely pose like a lonely person. -What kinda surgery?? -You need them cheeks spread -You seem attractive so I’m guessing if your alone something stinks. How’s your melon smellin? -At first glance I thought I wanted In-n-out but then I realized it would taste like Five Guys. -Marry me ? -There's tons of 50+ yr old dudes who would love to donate some formula to you. -would -Package deal. Big tits and big ass. -I wouldn’t call the surgery a failure. You are a very passable woman now. -I can’t find anything to roast you on. -Woman you are Devine!!!! 🤤 -You know it can't get worse when you have a face like that -Trans? -Your surgery didn’t go as planned…. So you still have your dick? -Your surgery didn’t go as planned??….. So you still have your dick? -Scrolled through OP’s page she’s so unremarkable nobody even wants to buy her poorly made porn or nudes -Youre very beautiful but your eyeliner doesn't match and makes your almond shaped eyes look squished. -"I don't want to sound rude, but unless you have a terrible, painful, or life-ending disease...I think everything is going to be just fine. You're not just pretty, you're stupid hot. And you're obviously smart. It's going to be just fine." -Nice ass -"Normally, I'm an asshole. I got nothing... pretty cute. I'd smash then get annoyed at how clingy you are. You look like the cute roommate who comes off as one of ""the bros"" but is secretly a closeted nymphs who uses your roommates electric toothbrush to masterbate." -I'm not sure what surgery you got or would need -HMU would love to chat -You have a friendly face. -"You must have an awful personality, if you study Math, look hot af, and are still lonely." -You got a nice ass for a woman with no tits -Trans ? -I know this is roast me but genuinely feel for you. My gf was a promising 21 year old early childhood development major and she had a severe throat infection and ended up with constant pain and aphonia. She is also struggling but now at 27 she has found herself trying to return to real life and feeling defeated. Don't give up it can get better. I'm sorry you feel so lonely that's the worst. Life is beautiful and worth continuing. -Is wanting to piss on ur face a good roast? -Are you a bitch under surgery to become a woman? -"You are beautiful and perfect, just the way you are." -Too cute. Good luck. -Trivial zero -"There's a difference between being a math major and being a meth major. -You look the latter." -"Wow! I checked and there was no OF link or Instagram link with OF there. Lol that was earlier but now there’s just a straight post do you want to buy pics of me 😭😭 -So sad" -Pretty sure that 69 in your life only happens in equations. -I’m assuming the surgeon couldn’t complete your transition then? -Oh sweetheart. NO surgery can ever fix that face of yours. -know how ugly women get dates? They major in math -I beat she has calculated the gravity impact in the past 10 years on her ass and breasts. -You look like someone who'd keep a collection of cum socks under their pillow -So the doctors couldn't remove the stick out of your a$$? Too bad. -Yeah surgery def didnt go as planned bc your face isn’t fixed -"I'll bet you will be Reiman in your shorts after you hear this great math joke. Just don't get all crazy and sprain your Angle! - -But for real, what is the air velocity of an unladen swallow? Asking for a friend." -"The solution to all that is def selling your nudes on the internet, good life choice there" -Id say luke warm hot dog but whatever -Your looks are like dividing by 0. -Too bad about the surgery I guess they didnt carry the 1 on your face -Yeah you look like rock bottom and a lot of people have hit you -Why do I feel like I should send you money and thank you for making me cheat😂 -Her only fans only has one subscriber and it’s her dad. -These are the types of illegals we need more of -"I can tell surgery didn't go as planned, I don't know which way you were transitioning..." -I wouldn’t fuck you with someone else’s dick -"Math major?? Looks more like meth major. Nothing about you has positive integer. You failed at every class from having class to being a woman. - -I can't imagine anyone more depressed than your lack of tits, ass and personality" -Wow Gen Z really is aging faster. -"Good, now lets keep it that way forever, this is your best version right now." -Pythagorus and his theorem couldnt look past that nose -Sex change surgery didn’t go as planned? -Pic 2. That picture on the wall looks more interesting than you. -You have a typo. It's Meth Major. -"The second photo is the best one. Not because of your butt, but because the phone hides the nausea causing bits." -Already sagging titts. -The only hatchet wound of yours any man wants to see is one across your neck. -Congrats on taking a Selfie without wearing a load. -Did the surgeon let you keep the penis and bring it home in a jar? -"Young but ugly. - -Take away the hair, and it's Albert Einsteins face." -wow that's after the surgery . you should sue -"My butt. Oh sorry, I thought this was the r / doppelgänger sub." -"Stick to math major, you would never make it on onlyfans" -"DM’s open for selling content lol, ffs, now the OF sloots don’t wanna have to pay OF as the hosting platform. -Just sell your pics for $2.99 a month and make Daddy proud (r/S)" -"This is either 21 going on 40, or the age is a lie. Either way, she's the back-up to the practice girl at best." -What is it about stem that makes women look so old -You're a clear 10. In binary. -d^2(ass)/d^2x = 0 -Bet you’ve never been a sin or cos ever. -The cursive won’t make up for your cardboard personality. -You picked the wrong major ai is replacing you before you even graduate -Only took 6 hours to get worse lol -You've been here like 6 times. I don't even want to roast you anymore. Just go away -I'll send you a picture of money and you send me a nude. Hurry before somebody destroys your body making you a single mother -Is the surgery mtf or ftm? -While you're absorbing the roasts any chance of a soapy tit wank? -Surgery didn't go as planned? So you still have your cock? -Eyeliner is booty -They didn’t remove the entire dick? -"Instead of trying to get a dick, have them fix your face. Start with that nose. Your 31YO left you because you look like you’re going on 60." -Probably a stats major. -With a body like that .. you can definitely fit in my trunk. -Damn! How fucking big was your nose before the surgery? -"Usually math majors are weird, ugly nerds with a super high part in the hair resulting in an odd shaped forehead. But hey you seem cool." -What surgery? The addadicktome? -"Wow! If I had you as a teacher, I would have definitely noticed more girls in my class" -Meth Major. Checks out. -Jesus just give us the OF link and move along already 🙄 -"You are open to selling content, I am closed to getting it from you." -21 or 41 I can't tell -No amount of surgery can fix all those rectangles you've shown us. -Wannabe Latina 👻 -You look like a Star-Nosed Mole. -Mouth major is probably more accurate. -"Surgery? What, a BBL? Stop watching the Kardashians. They're lives are not real." -We can tell you’re lonely as fuck… being a math teacher isn’t the right profession for a whore -Your body could is in negative double digits -That’s not a nose. That’s a handle to crack mouth open -"Yeah, you still look Manish." -"In a weird, ""I won't be able to live with myself afterwards"" way, I want to..... Ok forget it, you look like Elmer's Glue, go get some sun." -"Gender reassignment can be tricky, but hang in there buddy, you’ll be a wooman soon." -I can just tell you got the saggy roast beef flaps -"Math major but can't even figure out the card is supposed to be read by the camera, not you. Was the failed surgery a lobotomy?" -How can your nose still be that big after surgery -"I'm a whore* - -There, I fixed your bio" -Next Time put the paper in front of your face -Sue the surgeon and go back because your nose is still big AF. Your surgery did not go well....... -Low budget morticia Addams -TnA baby. -Don’t worry mister. They’ll get the surgery right next time and you’ll be done with your transition. -Here’s my Lonley Fans -The surgery left her with an angry inch -They didn't take enough of that nose -You look as though you smell like corn chips. -No wonder you are trying to fill the void of where your father should be with the negative remarks of any other male. -Girl is trying so hard to find a man she’s desperate -"Oh I misread, thought you put “meth major,” then I thought “that fits.”" -Whats up with the second pic. You definetly did NOT have to add that LMAO -Value every single moment in your life and life becomes better -You mean meth major? -How many cats do you own? -Maybe you should switch majors since things aren’t adding up? -Posting ass pictures like you’re auditioning to be a future street whore. Cringe. -So are you a trans? I honestly can't tell. -Why does your elbow look like a butthole? -"It can always get worse. But as a fellow lonely af math nerd, I am unable to roast you." -she got the ps1 lara croft bottom -Begone thot!! -I hear that Onlyfans didn't work for ya either. So you try to find the validation you seek but could never get here. -Look at the slope on that forehead. -That nose is awful. Those coke holes are wider than your mouth. Ask the surgeon for a refund and fix that butt ugly face -Somehow with you 2+1=0 -"It doesn’t matter how many times you integrate, somehow you’re never the total package." -All your friends are imaginary -sex change surgery i assume? -We havin’ pancakes for dinner tonight! -Ilt h I think ur sex change is going over nicely you can barely tell .But...you can Def. still tell -"Was that surgery a Nose Job, because if not I'd put it on the to do List." -"So when you say the surgery went wrong, you mean you didn't have a successful addadicktome?" -I am a Math major ( but I can't solve my problems). LOL -"Neither smash nor pass, just another forgettable OF fodder account" -"Sorry the hair plug surgery didn’t work out, atleast your hairline is still starting at the crown. I guess you would need to be a math major to calculate the grafts you need🙂" -Lobotomy is one hell of a surgical procedure. -You’re a gateway drug to being dependent on Viagra. -What surgery is she referring to? -"3 depressing sentences and an ass pic, i dont have to roast you" -Maybe I’m tripping but I see nothing wrong with you… -You have 14 cats and you definitely keyed your ex boyfriend's car at one point but you spend most of your time writing angsty poetry about your terrible life decisions -An Olympic long jumper couldn’t clear the gap between your eyebrows -Big nose = fat ass. Don’t need to be a math major to figure that out. -Can't wait for the blaming of men when you fail your math courses. -"You are a math major, but still you need to show off your breasts and ass for attention. That’s low af." -Style of a 48 year old with the body of a 21 year old math tutor -So lazy the first image doesn’t have the text the right way -You have an ass for OnlyFans and a face for Math -Hit my insta @shoskullkid -You have PlayStation 1 ass -Was it a nose surgery? Cuz yea it definitely didn’t go as planned -My God you reek of desperation. This isn't the place to advertise your shitty nudes. Maybe if you didn't act like this your father would've actually came back from getting the milk. Now you gotta make it everyone else's problems. Get tf out of here -If the surgery was done to make your right eye lower than the left one then it was a success. -Was the surgery to remove the gigantic tumors attached to your rear end? Since that certainly failed. -Don't participate. Its just another only fans hoe looking for attention. She's already asked people to buy her content. Don't do it!!! -looking at you its seems the only way u r gonna use your math major is to teach your kids after your arrange marriage -Doing this again because it's the most attention you've ever been given? -I like your nose -You look very delightful don't be sad you're lonely. You'll find a good partner and it will be worth it😁 -I think your right eye needs to come up about a 1/4 of an inch or .25” if you got in to school on a diversity scholarship. -"Are your hookups a sqrt -100? - -A perfect 10 and completely imaginary." -" -She had a pi gut but now shes got a 2n-1 billion face" -Bitch I've already seen hot dogs with more sex appeal -Since she is a math major she can sniff the amount of packs of gum the guy bought in the math problem with that nose -"Yet another in the endless line of people pitching content here. Nobody's interested, so go back to haunting your DM's waiting desperately for the next 60 yo man to message you about that ""content""." -Alpha Phi = Hurts to Pee -You (don’t) have an amazing tan the lack of sunlight is not helping you. -just drop the of link And gtfo -"What do you mean surgery didn't go as planned, your tits look great!" -A functioning brain is needed for a lobotomy to work -The calculator had a syntax error trying to calculate the size of your nose -"I’d love to Pythagoras your theorem, if you know what I mean" -the facelift is little to tight it makes you look like you're squinting -"Brother, I support your sex change, but you're still hard to look at." -She literally laughed her ass off -Knowing where to put a dangling participle doesn’t make you a math major 80085 -What kind of surgery bro -They have surgery for personalities now? -"Was the surgery to get rid of your cok? Get used to virgins, any man with experience wil know a real pussy from a fake one." -"idk but you bad asffffff … face eats down and body just a baddie period , delete this and get more social media to put yourself out there and meet new people … start going to events that have to do with interests that you are into so you can find people with similar interests" -"She had sex with the professor in hopes of getting an A, and all she got was “the D”." -That doctor should be in prison for what they did to your face! -Nobody nose -Your nose looks like a frustum -"Surgery went exactly as planned, congrats on the transition" -"It probably can get worse for you, but I doubt you could possibly get worse than you already are" -What surgery? Clearly the book job took as it's the only thing that makes her interesting. -"I don't mind roasting people, but it honestly sounds like you need a hug. Keep your chin up, and know that you are valued. - -👊❤️" -"I think the surgery went pretty well, I can barely see your Adam's apple." -"I swear I'm not looking at your tits, I'm looking at the space in-between" -There’s onlyfans -Id bang -Was the surgery for your forehead or nose? -Worst tinder profile yet. No wonder they are alone. -If Jimmy Neutron had a trans sister -A math major should know that a dude becoming a lady just doesn’t add up 🤦‍♂️ -"Well of course the surgery didn’t go as planned, they can’t implant personality into you like the other stuff" -Her eigenvalues are all zero. -I agree 👍 the surgeon gave you a minus BBL 🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦‍♂️ -You getting married is like 1 divided by 0. Error. -Welcome back for the 1000x time -I'd smash -The bright side is you might get a really good job with a math degree and learn to pay for sex like the other men -You do know that personality transplants aren't actually a thing? -You can do integrals on my cock -"Good at math, huh? Well, maybe you should work on your body ratio." -Where is she from....I d like to date her -"Second pic, there’s nothing back there to show off 🙄" -Well I mean you're pretty so atleast you know you have prostitution in the back pocket -"Dude, i think the surgery went really well" -I know a guy who will take the butt checks off the sides of your nose and put em where needed. Surgery will go as planned next time. -Your a math major. That’s all I need to say. -You can always go OF for easy bucks by lowering your value for many many customers. 💀 -Thanks for the jerk off material! -"Ok, seriously, what surgery? The answer determines my next question" -How many cats do you have ? -Your surgery looks absolutely fine. Welcome to the gender sir. -Math major lol -Your nails are disgusting -There definitely something I wanna do to you. 😈 -"Out of curiosity, what surgery was it? of course, there is no need to answer if you feel uncomfortable doing so" -Damn -Those curves got the Laura Croft in the 90s look -You’re stunning -Hey hey I know air is free but damn you gotta stop breathing with that nose. No wonder we are running low on oxygen -Your face looks like a rhombus! -Why the long face? -"Just delete this and your account, you do yourself no favours being here so disturbed" -"I guess I'm in the minority here, but you look gorgeous to me. I can keep you from feeling lonely." -It's a good thing you realised earlier that you are going to be bad at your career by showing us your cleavage to garner sympathy/attention points for you to consider becoming a full time hooker but your face says otherwise though. -Say your surgery failed without saying your surgery failed. -"""Can it get worse?"" -Sounds like you're on a downward spiral of self-pity. While looking for more fuel to drown yourself in sorrow. -Do yourself a favor. Keep your chin up. - - - -That way, you'll catch the whole load. Too bad no one will sub to your OF though.. you got the face of a horse." -Surgery didn't go as planned? So you still have a penis? -"I'd let you sit on my face, but that's only so i dont have to see yours." -I’m impressed that you can wipe your ass with your elbows. -You look like you promote your only fans during class. -This is like the 3rd time you're posting on this sub. Just post your shitty nudes or fuck off. -"What kind of surgery was that, OP? Life-saving or time-buying?" -Built like Lois Griffin -What surgery? -Got into math because it’s the only way she’ll get someone’s number -I need your instagram for more material to proper roast. 👀 -Looks like you went from Pythagoras to Pi. Was that your surgery? -"Oh it could absolutely be worse, you could be one of those ppl who don’t know how to flip their selfies! No, wait… nvm." -You are lovely! 😘❤️🔥 -"Dunno, the BBL looks OK from where I'm standing." -It loves to play with a brown hat. -He is a crime against humanity who sells his own dignity just by showing off his body lines and thinks we will look at him. -You are so beautiful it is disgusting.... -r/roastme should be renamed r/OFadsonline -"Must be a math major, you makin me hard like Algebra" -You look like you work at a strip club -You gyatt 40 percent body fat lose some kilograms or you look like letter q and b merged sideways. -Isn't math supposed to be what you're good at? Why can't you derive your own issues? Pfft using reddit as a cheat sheet. Grow up and figure yourself out. -"Can it get worse? Well, just wait until gravity takes hold, although it seems it's already be doing a fine job." -Are those Infinity ♾️ Pants you have on?? -Eww. Send noods -1+1= the two titties that are the only interesting thing about you. -"Damn, I wanna put my penis in that! -Shit, I'm not good at this....🙇‍♂️ -You suck!" -If the surgery failed is it still 21F or 21M -I would roast if there was something to roast on … not even tryna be creepy or nothing but I mean you got it tho minimal amount of make up naturally pretty otherwise… only I’d thing say is if you jumped up to a random set of bricks with that head a coin might come out of it lol -Not sure if it can't get any worse than asking the internet to fill the empty void in your heart with funny comments? -You remind me of my sister. Totally would bang. -Show us that gross pussy so we can make fun of it! 😆 -"Well atleast you look like a female, I've seen trans that still look very masculine after surgery" -"Everybody is finding it hard to continue, everyone is lonely, every woman with a hint of ann ass shows it and nobody, i mean nobody, except a few basement dwellers on reddit cares about you, your problems, your ass or your surgery. I would say, give it time, but Time wont fucking change sosial facts." -your nose looks like someone put the biggest nose available on a mister potatohead. -You look like a burned out 30 year old who thought being a stay at home mom with 4 kids under 5 was a GREAT idea. -Butt looks like first tomb raider game -You must have a terrible personality. -I'd fuck her in a heart beat. She is so hot. -"Can't, several black guys already did that." -"With tits and ass like that, your life will be just fine" -"I'm a physics masters, life is pretty worse if I look at it by keeping physics enthusiasm aside." -If you would go diving you would come up the whater you would get a fine for whater polution -"Just looking at your face, I can see the surgery wasn’t the only thing that didn’t go as planned." -"Sorry to hear about the surgery. Dont lose heart, its ok, brain transplants have 0% success rate" -Ok so everything you sucks. But why do we need to be punished? -You have a of link somewhere don't you -"The surgery didn't go that bed, although your Adams apple is noticable" -"You can get surgery, but sometimes the results just don’t add up. I could tell you to just be yourself, but that would be derivative." -comment -27 going on 47. Future HOA president. -You look like you have to get yourself drunk before you masturbate. -Your pronouns are DEEP/DISH -Nice personality -Pizza lover... No shit. We can tell -"You're a very attractive woman... it's a gravitational attraction, but who's really paying attention any ways." -Why does your cleavage line reach all the way up to your throat? -You must be expert now in using the panorama mode on your phone’s camera. -Is that what you say when your holding your plate up to the line cook at golden coral -We're all pretending to be shocked that all your pics are of you...alone. -What grade do you teach? -"100% chance of post deletion within 24 hours, 75% chance of account deletion." -"I've got a message from kermit. He says come home, he misses you." -When you roast a bowling ball it’s always raw in the center -Getting hard carried by tits. Don't even think about gravity -"Does the word ""bovine"" mean anything to you?" -You look like you're 12 months pregnant. -Roast pork is our top seller! -You look like you know your way around a pie eating contest -Damn your feet are doughnut shaped -You look like you get excited about a date night at Applebee’s. -"I bet all of her friends use the statement ""I have the funniest person you have to meet. You guys would get along so well,"" as a way to introduce you to guys." -Username checks out -How many years have you been 27? -No thanks. It looks like you've had enough roast. -You could be that friend I would 100% avoid because of your annoying toxic positivity when I just want to talk about my problems. -"You’re supposed to put your age, not your dress size" -I bet they are filled with ranch dressing -When was the last time you got your gums checked? Looks like you have gingivitis or some other gum disease -27? You let yourself go waaay early. -Showing off big tits when you’re fat is like bragging about having Mondays off when you’re unemployed. -"We could rent out that chest for advertising space - -Maybe those super white teeth too" -Why is it that looking at your pics put the butter on a poptart song from family guy in my head? -If someone ordered Honey boo boo's mom on wish they would get you in 3 weeks -I'd still smash but you gotta promise you won't tell nobody. -My eyes are up here -Tells everyone she’s ‘curvy’ -"Loved you in Shrek 4, Fiona" -You look like you have a protocol for eating snacks in bed to avoid ants. -Odd way to write 47 year old diabetic. -Do you use cholesterol as a seasoning ? -Your tits are your whole personality -When cleavage is your whole personality. -"Vote carefully, you’re going to be aborting a black baby in the near future." -I’m somehow visualizing landing a jumbo jet in the Grand Canyon -The lost tele tubby... them big titties with antennas really scarred the other ones -"Need to see the rest of the postage tattoo, need to make sure it's bulk rate shipping." -Why did u eat her ? -Weird coincidence. It was only yesterday I wondered what ever happened to Honey Boo Boo. -"Drives a car without airbags, not worried about safety." -Did you make that rug with your own fur? -I heard we were about to have a second moon. Guess the rumors were true. -You look like the type that would get really into polyamory but then turn angry and bitter when your bisexual husband gets way more attention than you. -35 hit her early -Those fuckn slobs hanging off of you are going to get burned. Be careful. -You look like the homewrecker who lives next door to every married man -"If we did roast you there would be a fuck ton of tallow to make candles, could light a medieval village for a year." -27 in dog years? -I didn't know my dick could become inverted until now. -"You seem like a very honest woman, judging by your username." -"You don’t need a roast, you need a salad" -"Jesus, I got to the 4th pic and my phone all of a sudden got HEAVY" -Dam. Your 27? -I opened the comments and a weight loss ad came up 💀 -Is your name Emerson? Cause Emerson big titties! -"You're giving off 'loves pizza but cries about not fitting into her jeans' energy. I bet you tell people you're 'curvy' when we all know 'pizza lover' isn't just a username—it's a lifestyle choice. Also, why does your smile look like you’re waiting for someone to compliment your hair but no one ever does? Maybe it’s time to stop looking for validation in the pizza aisle and start looking for a real hobby." -This isn't a roast but it's funny how you maintained the same pose in every pic (the full body ones) -she likes to wear open top blouses to distract you from her crazy ex eyes -God skipped neck day when he made you -Only a few of us can roast you. Too many may cause a grease fire. -If this was a real roast the village would be fed for the winter. -I didn’t know they made yellow chiclets -Username checks out -"*sees stamp tattoo* - -Every man says “Return to Sender”" -"You’re totally my type. - - -Is what I would say during last call after doing a 21 shot salute." -"When Aerosmith wrote Dude (Looks Like A Lady), they wrote it for you" -I see the potential. I call shotgun once she loses weight -Gym Rat -"I came here for the roast, but it looks like you ate all of it!" -One time this bitch was wearing a Malcom X t-shirt and a helicopter landed on her back. -"Put an apple in your mouth, roast you rotisserie" -"If we roasted you for real, we could end world hunger." -I bet your tits do all the heavy lifting for your lack of a personality. -"I would roast you, but I'm out of apples..." -I heard they’re doing a live action muppets movie. Guess who they want you to play? -You’re the final boss when someone is tryna rizz up your good looking friends. They always look like this -Big Bertha. I likes a woman with some meat on her bones. A buxom lass indeed! -Size 27? -I would only titty fuck you with a sword -Excactly how mayonnaise sandwiches did it take? -Bruh she's been in the taco bell sub complaining the food looks smaller. Someone told her she got bigger. -You look like you’re part of the activist movement that claims attractive people aren’t real and healthy bodies are unrealistic -Kim Carbdashian -city miles -"Better pull as many trains as you can, in a couple years only white dudes will fuck you" -Tell me you peaked in high school without telling me you peaked in high school. -No the chip bag didn't get smaller you got bigger -Giant tits front and back… -First time I've ever heard a pig asked to get roasted.... -I’d hit and bust on those títs -Dental expenses can get really expensive… Good thing you're spending all that on food and getting your hair done -Id roast you at 437 degrees for about 2 hours maybe add some pineapple for tenderness -"You look like a mum that would regularly complain to your kids teachers about every little thing, because you got nothing else better to do." -Nice dentures -You look like you have a “special recipe” for Mac ‘n’ cheese. . -"Bitch, the last thing you need is another roast. Try going for a run" -"""Roast me all you'd like"" no shit, especially for your size I'm going to have to use all of the world's lumber" -Roast you? The only thing missing from these pictures is an apple. -You need to smile less. -Smile looks like the 7 year old chiclets in my old jean pocket. -No. You should not start an Onlyfans. -"You know it’s over, right?" -"You know that when your feet (or hands) are fat, the fat has won." -"The good news: G cup bust -The bad news: DD cup stomach" -Face like 50 bedroom like 5. -"You posted yourself in r/Glowups, but had to blur the first picture to make it seem reasonable" -From the way you take picture the most interesting thing about you is your chest -Should have put an apple in your mouth. -Would -Gorgeous -I can smell the pepperoni grease on your breath. -Congratulations 🍼 when are you due ? -Not sure if I should roast you. You look more like you prefer things braised. -"Open a dairy farm with those. - -Babies include grown ass man that call you ""ma ma"", love you don't they. - -BBC ready, type of white women." -I’ll bet that you’ve said that to every minor league hockey team in the region. -I bet the employees of target get the sweats when you walk up to the return counter without a receipt -Your smile is just as contagious as your stds -27 what? Ton? -Why in the 4th picture it look like you got your hair yah mama's hair and yah grandma's hair all on one head -Somewhere a black guy is salivating -"Hey! Tits! And nothing else worth mentioning! - -I know, i know, low-hanging fruit (no pun intended). But, when you give absolutely nothing else to go on, i work with what i have. When you base your entire personality on your tits you can’t be pissy when that’s what you’re judged on. - -Don’t worry - in five years when those sag (even more), you’ll have all the time in the world to find something else to sling your entire identity around. You certainly won’t be bothered with a social life!" -"Drunk me would totally fuck you, but I wouldn't tell my friends. Just my doctor" -"Damn, belly….stop swallowing all the cum, and use some of it to whiten your teeth." -"pizza lover, but also cake, loads of pork, candies, chips, edible in general" -You look like you claim disability for being fat -"If you loose weight, you will still be ugly" -"Omg, these pictures would be so cute if you just weren't in them." -You ever see how iron filings will follow a bar magnet when it’s dragged through a pile of them? I bet that’s what it’s like if you walk through a black neighborhood. -"Tubby Princess looks like she calls short guys ""Short Kings""" -"I’d let you suck me off, but that’s it" -Username checks out -"At first I was gonna grill you for throwing cleavage into all your pictures like every fat girl does to try to bury the lede, then I realized you were just overall shaped like a busted can of biscuits and can't come in any other shape so it can't be helped. Carry on then, Bessie" -I was wondering what happened to my high school practice girl. -27? And the rest! -Will do. You clearly don’t know when to stop. -You keep a slice of pizza in your purse at all times just in case -The face of herpahepasyphilghonoraids -I just know the room smell like dead tuna after you let the whole hood hit it -Your tits say In-N-Out double double but your face says McDonalds dollar menu -"Little less pizza loving , more love for fresh veggies and long walks up and down the east coast" -Her tinder bio “6 months clean now turned Cristian” -Gotta body like a marshmallow. -"27 going on 72 , you look old mam ! Did we offer you senior discount yet ?" -I would but I don’t have an oven big enough -"Her comments to guys always end in …”all you’d like” Like fill my holes….”” Punch me, choke me…”” Use my EBT card…””" -The Girl Scouts and Krispy Kreme fund raiser kids have your phone number. -"The one ‘party gal’ that comes over, smashes tequila and tries to sleep with every ‘youthful’ man with a MILF fetish." -I think you’ve had enough pizza….and clearly lying about your age. -Chichis christ -That’s a lot to roast. -Stubby legs stubby arms stubby teeth at least you’re consistent -You’re actually pretty cute for a morbidly obese chick -"Is your most common phrase ""dosen't that come with gravy?""" -You look like you get a lot of texts from guys at 3am that ask “wyd” -"Nickname might as well be “Lighthouse” -only want to see you at 2am" -27 my ass lmfao -Moo? -You’re the epitome of the last call cum dumpster -How many guys have told you that they really like your eyes? -I think you spelled 47 incorrectly -"You seem like a really nice person, but I can tell why, you have to be, cause your looks are doing no one favors." -OP username checks out -Roast you? Thats one helluva sacrifice to feed your village for a year! -Nothing a 12-pack can’t fix! -When your girdle does more to propagate your lies than you telling us you’re 27… -"Alright, confess. Which one of ya deepfaked Jon Favreaus face onto Rebel Wilson's old body?" -You look like you believe in yourself just as much as you believe in your shirt buttons! -You look like the secret to both your skincare routine and diet is butter. -In the German armed forces we have a game called „Eulenschießen“ (shooting owls) … let me just say there is a private waiting for you somewhere to secure his initiation. -The human equivalent of the response “living the dream”. -"Where’d you come up with that title, is it a refernace to “all you can eat.”" -"I mean, I’d totally smash and not tell my friends about you." -Username checks out. -You go around telling people you have PCOS and take no accountability for your lifestyle -"You do know you don't have to swallow every load you catch at church camp, right? You don't need the protein!" -She won the silver medal at the 2024 Paris ozempic games. -Have you heard of Ozempic? It won’t help your face and the rest of you will still suck. But at least you’ll be able to feel your feet. Even if you can’t see them. -It's tough to say mean things about tits. -The local KFC has a special menu named after you -Your smile lights up a room with a warm yellow glow. -It's a good thing you have those bewbs to distract from that face. -27 but built like two 50 year olds. -How often do you find leftovers that fell into the cleavage canyon? -You’ve eaten too many roasts -Pizza lover cause you know she got them pepperoni nipples. -Just run -Even you find that perfect angle and perfect push up bra to make your personality look good. -Pushing those tiny tits together doesn't distract from the fact that you are fat the way you think it does. -All these fat roasts and all I’m thinking about is why did you paint your toenails alternating colours when you’ll never get to see them. -Torta Blanca you for a good time but a shameful time after the fact -"Can’t roast you any more than those 3-time deep fried pizza’s you love so much, Pizzalover." -True definition of a moped. -social media brain rot and pizza loving is aging you like milk.. definitely going to end life as a lonely smelly fat cat lady that hates men -burger king hands -Black eyes. Like a dolls eyes -Is the fourth photo the one that the local buffet has on their banned wall? -47 looks good on you -I would roast you but I hate the smell of bacon -Username checks out. -Your friends instantly feel better about themselves when around you -"Let me guess, you've been 27 for the past twenty years, right ?" -That’s a rough 27 -You look like the type of girl on dating apps to only include pics of the neck and upwards or have your main photo with attractive friends so you get a better chance of matching with someone -you sure 27? I see 40+ -"Nothing says more than: Oklahoma single mom of 3 overweight kids, two dads, substitute teacher, putting yourself out there, not settling, losing weight plan on Jan 1st, wants to travel more but right now mudding and drinks with the girls (2 other divorcee coworkers in their 40s) will have to do." -I hope i look like you when i turn 58 -What happened to your elbow? Why is it stuck in place like that. -I bet you Facebook message people from highschool to buy into your MLM -Sorry but pig roasts are for summer cookouts -"When you think you have a one night stand with a Megan Fox lookalike, but when the booze wears off you wake up to this girl." -The amount of selfies you take is disturbing -Your air bags have deployed. -NASA said an asteriod with the size of a football stadium would skim the earth... They were right about the size cuz you look like the one who wiped the dinosaurs -"We get it. Cleavage is all you think you have. If tits that sag to your waist mattered, we might agree." -why -My balls are scared of your compression -It's clear that you were once attractive in HS. You just didn't know when to stop eating. -Are those mirrors regulation size? Or did you have to inpork them? -Least shocking profile name of all times -Are you perhaps a teacher (specifically English or history. More history) who happens to work for grade school or middle schoolers... You seem like one of those unbearable teachers that constantly everyone talks about and makes rumors about. -I would but I dont think theres a bonfire in the world big enough to roast you on -How much gravy is on your roast -Hobbit with hair extensions -"You've nailed the two poses, now you just need to nail the body. Because no self respecting man would nail you." -Plenty of “Before” pictures to choose from -When you look like this... Getting roasted must be nostalgic. -Short teeth don’t care -We roast you the US military ain’t going hungry. -Same pose same size -Can you open this bottle of Coke for me? -How's Kermit? -Tig ol' bitties -Why did you post your dating profile pics on here? -Good to see someone's still rocking the 2k chunky highlights like all those porn stars did back then. -"Well I've learned to roast approximately 20 mins per pound, so if you've got a week or two lemme know" -You're built like an oompa loompa -"27? Wow, please don't post again when you're 37, it's already too sad" -You look like you squish your fat into a human-like shape. -You probably order the most annoying over-complicated drink on the menu at Starbucks to make up for your boring plain as white on rice personality. You provably boil chicken for dinner and eat it unseasoned. -You really like to eat roast… a lot. -"I think I recognize you, can you shove an apple in your mouth so I can be sure?" -You look like the single mother of a mixed child -I can’t see you in that one picture over the sink. How tiny are you? And those veneers must have cost big money. -"You look like someone who gets ""so brave"" commented on her bikini pics" -I'm sure you think your titties are big. but you're just fat -comment -"Go on, I think you can add at least a few more red flag adjectives to your bio." - I'm betting all of the demons inside you have been pulled out with coat hangers. -You look like you can only orgasm if The Nightmare Before Christmas is playing in the background. -Schizotypal is the bs excuse you use to justify you being a complete bitch to everyone. -You look like area51 merch! -You dissected a pug for your school science project. -Are you the main character in some found footage movie about a couple that adopts a murderous child? -You look like a 12-year-old boy with a shitty wig that sleeps like two hours a week 😟 -I don't know whether you are an illegal alien or an outerspace alien. -I have no actual personality so I define myself with mental illnesses to excuse my shitty behavior and you have to like me or it’s a hate crime -Rihanna's forehead is your competition -"If ""Bad Handjob"" had a face" -Resting Glare Face. -"Okay we get it, you’re brooding and full of angst. Very original." -Ex goth? You forgot to get your soul back -You look like you save used tampons and other people's hair balls. -The world doesn't need another pregnant Latina-Goth that can't read and does nothing but eat chips. -You look like you are just an absolute bitch to everyone at all times. -If you pull out a glowing cube and tell me not to stay as a bird for more than 2 hours I will be entirely unsurprised -Alien canthal tilt. -Sorry the transition isnt going well. Thots and prayers. -Wtf is a ex goth ?? -Definitely an illegal alien.  The only question is country or planet? -"Are you classified as human? I'm getting real ""meat popsicle"" vibes here." -Area 51 humanoid alien hybrid society plant 👽 -"Exhibit A for ""Don't stick your dick in crazy""" -You look like a grey man alien cosplaying as an illegal alien. -You must use all the pronouns. -You look like you work in a wind tunnel -"I’m not saying you look like an alien, but if you phoned home, no one would come to collect you." -If “crazy” had a face. -You look like my last hemorrhoid -This is what happens when you make a self-diagnosed mental illness your entire personality... -You're the dude who would be watching Ghostbusters and be rubbing one out to Slimer. -Do you just spray yourself with mace instead of makeup? -Why the long face? -"You look like you’re trying to be a groan person. Like when people try to be funny around you, you groan. - -And yet, you’re here. Asking for roasts to entertain yourself when you could’ve laughed or at least chucked from the jump. - -Good luck with your Nefertari ass face. Find a smile and maybe someone will engage in any sort of interaction with you outside of posting on a Reddit thread." -You’re quite possibly one of the weirdest looking humans I have ever seen. -Who diagnosed you as 'ex-goth'? Looks like your gotharrhea is still flaring up kid. -Looks like Lou Diamond Phillips post transition -Mulan's inbred cousin Mush  -Do you eat people? You look like you eat people. -Ex goth at 24? Quitter. -Hello racially ambiguous future person -"Dishonor on your whole family. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow." -Mexican Or Thailand Ladyboy? -Anal probe flashback activated… -"Your face screams ""unenthusiastic handjob""" -We have disappointment at home -"You should listen to the voices, they would give you better style advice then you think you already have" -ex goth? i think you mean a poser. -"This is the phase right before you cut your hair off, color it bright pink and get your septum pierced." -Jackie Chan and Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s love child. -"We men have a rule we are whispered at birth, ""don't stick your dick in crazy""." -"We get it, you're ""not like other girls"" 🥱" -The one and only spoon face everyone! -John Wick 5... they have run out of foreign extras... -Pic 3 is where you tell the guy you have a straight razor against his balls -"I'd say aim for prostitution, but yeah..." -You know she lost it bad when she wears a rug as a garment. -That nose gah damn that shit looks like I could use it as a slip and slide -"Ex-goth, but still a grey alien.​" -RIP pet bunny 🐰 -3 descriptors when ‘RBF Alien’ would do. -Bitch you look like Mantis with those bug ass eyes. -You look like a scary painting came to life -You look like a low effort alien from star trek. -Where is your 1 year M to F post? Asking for a friend. -"You're scaring me.. please stop ✋️ - -PRETZELS!! (My safe wurd)" -When aliens abduct a navajo woman and breed with her -You look like the skinny Asian d and d guy -I don’t want to fix you -Your face is taller than most people. -Why such the long face? -"Welcome to Earth, 👽" -We’re just making up disorders now? Ok. -You look like a joy to be around. -"If it wasn't for Multiple Personality Disorder, she'd have no personality at all." -"Not sure what these folks are going on about… I think you could be hot if you just looked different, and had a different personality." -"You are magic, one look and all joy is magically sucked out of the room. At least you'll always be able to find employment as a Dementor" -You look like that lady I scroll past on Facebook. The one that dresses like Wonder Woman and starts the video with her mouth closed. She then opens it and pulls objects you would never think could fit out of her throat hole. -I’d be pissed too if I looked like that -Your title screams “I’m desperate to sound interesting”. -4th pic is cute💕 -Ex goth? No such thing. Poser. -Go to sleep for fucks sake -Sleep paralysis demon looking ass -"So, basically you're a broke poser, with resting psycho face and a receding hairline, who stalks any guy who even speaks to you, and keeps texting them creepy ass shit a thousand times a day until they have to block you or obtain a restraining order." -Uh.. go back to goth. -"Man, I’ve always thought that resting bitchface was an exaggerated expression. How wrong I was…" -Yoko oh no -I’m starting to understand the hype of fucking an alien from Area 51 -Why the long face? -You're ugly -"just put the fries in the bag, minimum wage thing." -"In the second picture, we have Lucy Liu and Leonard Nimoy's lovechild" -Straight thought you were the guy from the walking dead -If the girl from The Ring got to grow up. -I'm Schizophrenic. We should hang out and tell each other about the craziest things we saw or heard. -What was crashing in Roswell like? -Why the long face.. -"Calling yourself an ex goth is embarrassing, it's much worse than just saying you're a goth" -You're like the living embodiment of a drug addiction. -I want to comment but I’m afraid you’ll crawl out of my TV. -Smile. -There’s more life in a cemetery than your face -Ok Ezra Miller -I refuse. Femme Fatale vibes and i love it. All you need now is goofy ahh animal sidekick -Got nothing bad to say. You’re absolutely stunning girl! -I feel like your tinder profile will have something like INFJ on it and expect some dumbass to know what that even means -You look like the majority of your friends are goats -Why the long face? -You look like a dark elf from oblivion -"Well at least you know your trajectory, and it’s not trending up!!! God luck. Hey you have close relatives that people should contact if you make it out that fucking train wreck. Hey at least your pretty that vacuous space on your shoulder, yeah at that empty cavern realized it’s absolutely aimless. You were to aimless instead of useless. I’d say think about that because about that. The origin of the word vacuous, combined Latin English word meaning lacking matter. I’d explain grey matter is but I’ve wasted enough time on you and other lost children. Be well or don’t, you’ll choose the later I’m sure." -You were really great in The Crying Game. -You’re beautiful once you get past the dead behind the eyes thing -You look like that evil option character preset in every RPG videogame. -Crazy’s are the best in bed -"You can just see the painfully stupid conversation about stars and magical crystals. -The cost of this pussy it steep" -You look like a liberal -Walking dead must look like you  -Biter. -"You look like someone who would stab all four tires on your ex's car, but then watch him through his bedroom window as he slept while you smoked two packs of camel filterless cigarettes." -👽 Greetings Visitor 👋🏾 👋🏾 -I can fix her. -You forgot the other black eyed peas. -"Next time I'm feeling down, I'll think back to this post. Knowing that you exist makes me feel REALLY good about myself" -You look like a few of my created characters in Skyrim -Seeing a legit “**resting I’ll ruin your life face**” is a new one on me. -You should be actor with that expressive range of emotion. -Her two personalities are named Sweet and Sour -Ffs go back to goth -You look like when someone asks your body count you tell them how many people you have murdered. So far. -"Go to a depression support group. You'll feel better. - - Why? - - All the other attendees will cheer up when they see they aren't as bad as you." -"It takes more muscles to frown than to stay neutral or even smile. - -You look like you go out of your way to be a bitch." -Drinking too much improperly mixed absinthe just to fit in with the creepy kids pretty much fried any remaining brain cells you had. -The Last Smile Bender lookin' ass. -Blue or red pill ? -"You look like Damien Priest, and not in a good way" -Unenthusiastic blowjob personified -Your smile lights up a room. 😑 -You look like an early ai robot prototype. -I guess we now know what a human arrowhead looks like. -You look like you sacrifice babies -You look like an alien sent on a mission to infiltrate earth disguised as a trashy asian prostitute -You look like you’re just pissed that the mummy couldn’t keep you alive after reviving you. -Side profile of Mr Ed -AYYY LMAO -Big Chief from One Flew Over looks angry these days. -look up resting bitch face in the dictionary and it shows her picture. -"How did you escape Skyrim, being a wood elf and all" -"I didn't know there was a ""got bit by a zombie 30 mins ago"" filter but here we are." -profile pics from jihad date -tell us you can be a see you next tuesday in picture form -With those rings around your eyes you definitely look like you were rude hard and hung up wet -Forget about the ugly tree you look like you were hit by the ugly train.... -Too bad the goths kicked you out. Lots of dark makeup was your only hope. -if you weren't so miserable looking you'd probably be presentable -You wouldn’t look a lot prettier if you smiled. -"Just a big ball of nothing, aren't ya?" -this new live action deadlock movie is gonna be nuts. they nailed the casting for Yamato. -Didn’t I see your picture on a wanted poster? -You look like you need a hug. -"You should go back to being goth, only heavy makeup is able to save that" -Your body count is higher than your body count. -"""If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best"" - -""Whatever, I felt sorry for you anyway, you've got a small dick and all your friends want to fuck me"" - -""What, your broke arse can't take me out? I got guys in my DMs who will"" - - -Sound familiar ?" -You look like your parents were as absent as your personality is. -I can't fix her. -It's a rule of mine to not date a girl that has a higher body count than Chris Kyle. -"Attempt : Trying to look cool. -Outcome: Tight as a drum with Resting Bitch Face" -Why the (extra) long face? -"""If you cant handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best"" ~~bitch~~ girl please, you narcissistic fox faced im holding a fart in faced psycho. -Get help, the Roast won't do it. -You need work. -At Walmart counter to humble you. Kendrick style." -Looks like you’ll be getting deported soon -You look like youre trying to hide the fact that you enjoy long walks on the beach and picnics in the park -wtf is a ex goth -"Well, The Blair Witch Project has finally been solved." -I guess you can go into porn with a bag on your head if your willing enough to take it in the ass -You look like you give really sad head. -You look like you own a lot of knives but don’t use them for cooking… -"Why do I want you to stand over me naked and treat me schizotypal as hell? Oh yeah, because I am a degenerate…." -You look like a Praying Mantis -You look like you should be crawling out of a tv screen -The grudge at home -Zeta Reticuli head having ahh bish -When you’re learning to draw and can’t quite put the eyes in the right place. -"I bet your dad wishes he'd been aimless, too." -"You look like the model for a yet to be developed impotence drug. No, not to cure it…to give it to someone." -"Your pointless existence has been fulfilled by posting here. Next, please." -I’ve never heard someone call themselves ex-goth. Guess it was just a phase for you. -"I would like a single plum, floating in perfume served in a man’s hat" -There's nothing wrong with being average. Join the club! -Someone's got a cooler of kitten corpses buried in the woods.... -Tomie came to life and your eyes show just how soulless you are. -"For some, resting bitch face is an aesthetic. For you, apparently it's just bitch face." -"""Life is a waterfall -We're one in the river -And one again after the fall""" -why the long face -Your eyes are as dead as I want to be after having looked at you. -Something about you reminds me of a sphynx cat -"sooo, - - -knock knock, -anybody home, -or is it disturbingly empty in the schizo dome?" -You're still goth just in brighter clothes. -Nice wigs bro -She can chop a tree down with that face. -Marilyn Manson and Keanu Reeves’s bizarro child. -"You look like the girl from the ring crossed with an android. I also am 100% sure others perceive you as cringy and not angsty, which is what you're going for" -First pic is from the collection of the faceless men in GOT. -You look like a Bruce Lee/Alien hybrid from Temu -Your forehead is so big it even could be a landing strip for airplane's -"No doubt have yelled at a man being like “Who is SHE, dont lie to me” and then after an hour of abuse you admit it was just some test." -Took me a second to realize I’m looking at a female and not pics of Los Angeles International airport. -The reason why you were born was the reason.. Oh I suck at this -You look like how hard bread tastes. -Gumby as a tranie -"You look like a dude pretending to be a girl, mischievous racoon looking ahh, you look like you command a army of flying rats... Dehydrated plum head ahh, loose basketball shoe nose ahh" -Aylmaoo 👽 -Even Jesus is not delusional enough to think he could fix you -Wish.com Rosa from Brooklyn 99 -"Like… I still would, I just wouldn’t tell my friends about it." -With a face like that I'd go goth as well -Rosa from Wish -"Bro, your next step is literally to just open an OF and get money off of idiots who are into goth hoes and degradation. Thats your only way up, you look fucking insufferable. My Grandpa's advice was always ''Dont stick your dick in crazy'' glad i stayed true to his words" -You look like Mulan and Pocahontas had a baby -"Your parents still haven’t forgiven you for that B, have they?" -Joyless -She knows so much about herself yet are so unsure of who she is. -Daddy called and you have issues -you would have a man go to war for you and then gaslight him after he's won. -I can smell you through my screen. It’s horrible. -Looks like Voldemort with a nose -Kicked out of the mothership and now stuck wandering cemeteries. -Yoko *Ohnoooo* -You look like the dark elves vanilla character model in Skyrim -would -I never dislike roastme but you made me do it today -Why the long face? -"That's the face of someone who's purchased plastic sheeting, shovels, and quicklime." -You remember that alien autopsy video that everybody saw a couple of decades ago? After they stopped filming somebody put his wiener inside of its dead corpse and out came you like the Xenomorph in Alien 3 -She looks like a pissed off cat -Why the long face? -Look like you’d slit my throat the minute I fell asleep. -You can already tell you dress weird and think everyone else just conforms to society. -"you look like you'd enjoy using piano wire to remove someone's legs - -(Audition (1999))" -You forgot to link to your SlenderFans page. -Supernatural is over. Get a new job. -Self diagnosis queen -comment -Sooo this is Meg Griffin all grown up.... -The tide wouldn't take you out. -You look like you need a back up generator for your vibrators. -“You’re everything I’ve always wanted in a woman” - no one. -"You misspelt ""childless by the choice of every man I ever met""." -I've seen more sex appeal on a second coat of paint -**By choice** 😂😂😂 -"Just come out as a lesbian, you don't have to be one, but it has to be easier than explaining all that." -Thank you for taking yourself out of the gene pool -Have you ever resisted asking to see the manager? -"You wanted to be a teacher, but then you realized you hated kids. You wanted to date, but then you realized you hated men. You wanted to be a lesbian, but you hated commitment. You wanted to be happy, but you went to the internet." -"Come on, even your mom tricked a guy once... you go girl" -Where's the picture of the 26 stray cats you are feeding? -Fuck I'd hate to see you without makeup on. -"""by choice""... ah yes, says every average looking and single middle-aged woman who's been dumped after any partner gets a good look at her soul. You aren't any of those things by choice sweetheart." -"Please move out. Sincerely, mum" -"Broke, 39 and lives with mom. - -Time to start a fentanyl addiction and just make it a grand slam." -Why 4 pictures? You’re clearly in the same bathroom spinning around it for some reason. If you were gonna give us that many you could have at least included one of the toilet so our eyes would have something better than your face to look at for one of them. -Mom keeps dropping hints about you moving out but you’re oblivious to the fact that the poor woman wants to get her swerve on -"\*childless by choice\* -what you forgot to mention is the choice was made by the men, not by you." -We can tell youve never seen a stiff penis -"Lives with mom, never married, no friends, living at home.. - -""childless by choice"", what choice? - -Your eyes tell me you are already done with life" -"Has anyone ever told you that you have a resting bitch face? If so, don’t believe them. It’s just a bitch face, no resting Involved." -"Never married, childless by choice, yupe as soon as I saw that line, it confirmed you are a wise woman. You probably just didn’t want to bring anyone down to your level of a sad life." -Guess I’ll be the one to tell you the truth. When your male coworker said you looked nice the one time he was just being polite. -Is there actually anything to feel good about? I doubt it -Childless by choice AKA no dude was stupid enough to raw dog her. -"You know it’s bad when you slap a bent key ring on your ring finger to fool yourself you’re even partially wanted by someone, anyone…" -Mom must be so proud /s -Your mom's not mad just extra disappointed -"“Childless by choice”? - -Don’t you mean those eggs are expired?" -You sounds like my sister. she tends to also piss everyone off that she comes across -"Translation: I was never with a man long enough to get to the kids stage and overtime I have learned to be a selfish a hole so now I don't wan them and say I am ""childless by choice"" - - -When no one comes to visit you in the state run nursing home where they leave you parked in a wheelchair facing the wall for 8 hours a day, you may come to regret that decision. (Your pets can't visit you there either)." -"If you fly, your face would be the most static thing in the sky." -You have become your mom. You took 5 pictures of the same pose -How can you be childless and still be boring?!?! -No point in starting an OnlyFans to attempt to solve your money problems. -Your vagina dried up and left. That's not really a choice. -I’d hit it… but I wouldn’t tell my friends. -Im sorry I can't roast you. I see the sadness in your eyes. Hope life gets better -You look like you socialize about your monthly flow as a conversation starter. -"That’s funny that you think you’re childless by choice. My dear, not even the IVF tech want to put needles in you!" -Childless by choice is a strange way of saying no man wants you -"You’re 39, no kids, and yet you’re still broke living with mom." -Bet your retired mom wishes her house was childless right now. -"When you have to say by choice to make yourself feel better then we all know the real reason, plus you adding pics seals the deal" -Your skin is the same color as that envelope. Is this intentional? Or do you never leave the house? -She definitely enjoys her farts -"I've seen more lively mannequins. Start an OF for small town librarian necrophiles, maybe you can change the broke part." -You look like you’ve won cashier of the month at Walmart 34 years in a row -"You look like the Walgreens brand version of JK Rowling, except less interesting." -When the library worker discovers Internet n Reddit -i’d shoot ropes all over those glasses NGL -Take the ring off. You’re not fooling anyone -"Doesn't want kids in case they're still living with her at 39. - -Only fans didn't work out as no one wanted to buy her ""watch me fuck myself while mom is in the other room solo vids"" - -Probably broke as she has to pay guys to interact with her on OF as hers failed." -"You look like you write 1 star reviews for video games set in ancient fantasy China for ""lack of diversity"" in a Buddhist temple." -Your “forehead to face ratio” is really concerning. -"Childless by choice? - -Oh lawd..." -Definitely a democrat -The Picture of Dorian's Gay Aunt -bet you were great at giving relationship advice “theoretically” -Is your mom single? -It’s like Ms Rachael couldn’t cut it online and fell back to being a supervisor at a McDonald’s -"I assume you're uncle gave you a deep seeded fear of men and that's why you put ""by choice""" -You need to have gotten laid in the past ten years to still consider it a choice. -"You look like the star of ""When White Bread met Mayonnaise""" -Has your skin ever seen the sun? -"She's the girl before the makeover in your favorite early 2000s movie. - - -Probably played by Anne Hathaway" -aint got her cherry but still got the box it came in -You have already been roasted enough for 39 years good that your skin hasn't turned crispy -Harris voter -Childless but definitely not Cat less !! -I actually can't roast you. Message me -You look like my English teacher that I used to want to fuck. -"""Childless by choice"" = customer of the year at Planned Parenthood.." -"Oh wait no way you’re too pretty for 39- oh wait sorry, didn’t expand the post photo, never mind." -"Starting your about you with how many felines you adopt, impressive." -Your paper clip ring shows your standards are lower than whale shit. -You have the dead eyes and an SSRI smile that screams broken goods from a mile away. -Your bio already did enough roasting. -After 20 years at the gloryhole she realized there’s no pension plan. -Wait. Female incels are a thing now? -"""by choice"" 😂" -I swear your midlife crisis is going to be whether to have a pizza pocket or macaroni. -"Your hair looks wet, yet somehow fried to death. Try another identical selfie in the world's weirdest bathroom so I can see better." -I’d bang -You look like the kind of girl that would sleep with me. -"Let me guess. - -Hates men (really just sexist), pro feminism (it's really psuedofeminism used as an excuse to be sexist) and is fake confident (but really just an emotional and anxietal wreck)" -You're extraordinary.. less extra more ordinary.... -"Instead of only fans, she has only bland" -Ive seen more accomplishments in life from a second coat of paint. -Glad the circle of hideousness stops with you. Brave . -"Oh that was your mom, I thought it was you" -"You look bitchy. That’s why no one wants to be around you. It’s actually your one good quality that you’ve decided not to be a parasite on some poor lonely man, and ruin his life to try and save yours." -So is your dad a giraffe or a horse? I mean with a neck like that. -Leader of the mouse click movement. I called it first on reddit. -"Can't even be an old cat lady because based on everything there, even the cats would run from you." -Where arr you in the picture? Maybe you just blend in with the wall. -"Least you know she’s not hiding anything, she’s got the imagination of a tuna can" -Where are all the 73 Cats you have? Already thrown at the neighbour who is parking in your spot? -The Naughty Librarian for the illiterate  -When are you starting your lesbian phase? -You do kinda look like you like to scratch your butt and sniff your fingers a lot -"I don’t think I’ve seen a more boring post on this sub. The same blank look on your face in the same room, taken 4 different times. If “one sided conversation” was a sports team, you’d be the fucking mascot." -You look like you don't want any friends also. -You look like math camp 7/10. -Hey Matilda ?? 😆😆 -BTW people with very little social contacts always look much younger than their age -Nice bio. Maybe you should post some of your negatives. -Are you Frost Lich Jaina ? -You put the sensual in non-consensual sex. -"That's ok, the Greenland Shark doesn't reach sexual maturity until 150 yrs old, and has even worse eyesight from the parasites that live in it's eyes, so you aren't doing too bad for an old fish" -Jesus if this is feeling good about yourself how fucking bad were you two years ago?! -"Ahh the perfect teacher material, the ones that are strict mostly" -Your every social interaction into a discussion snort abortions and pegging - two things you’ll never have to worry anoit -host mom of a boring student exchange vibes -your husband must be a porn addict -"Did you forget to mention ""been to rehab multiple times""" -"Look Iike a female Fred Armisen but somehow with a worse hairline. - -Whoever told you that you should only wear black was doing us all a favor. Can't see you if you turn around." -"Some of these are just no fun, I’m tired of punching down…in this case the bottom of the barrel." -"Poor, lonely, childless, lives at home… how are you starting to feel good about yourself 😂" -I bet her underwear has dick holes. -"No way, you’re sexy af" -Childless by choice or because no one would fuck you? -"Dont get near me, i will put a baby in you toots sweet" -That's sad. You would have made some octogenarian a great wife. -Wow - you look and sound like an incubator kid. Unused and never left the house…. -Battery sales are unusually high in her part of the world 😂😂😂 -So you're squatting in your mom's house huh? -"I'm definitely getting Norma(n) Bates vibes here... - - -""Remember Norma(n), only your mother loves you"" - - -😂😂😂" -Starting to feel good? You sure? -asmongold? -Excellent -You forgot virgin -Lady. What else can we roast u about. U need a toast. -"Come on now, we know you live in a homeless shelter" -"Most forgettable face ever, in fact by the time I scrolled for the comments I forgot what you looked like and didn’t bother" -Your highest attained degree is an IUD -You look like a dentist assistant at like a real shitty dentist office in a cheap strip mall. -">39F - ->broke - -You could always make and post your ""cat"" videos online. Excellent way to score some steady income." -Do you own a cat?? -You hit the wall at 20 -You look like every English school teacher I have ever met -Brokieee😂 -I was in love with Lisa Loeb back in 93. Now I know what she’ll look like at 93 -If borderline personality was a person. -The spectacles are wearing your head -"What do you have to feel good about? Childless by everyone else's choice, avoided by sane people so you have no friends and burden your mother with your presence." -Your nose looks like it’s side profile is more respectable than you. -You look like you reek of cat dander -You sure it shouldn't read 39M? -Have you tried dating blind guys? -Has your mom figured out that you're not stirring macaroni and cheese in your room by yourself at midnight yet? -You look like exactly like how I imagined a child free person would look like. Maybe dye your hair blue for the added touch and add a cat -"""Childless by choice"" is a weird way of saying ""every dude I've met finds out I'm over 30 and still live with my parents, so they ghost me after our first encounter and now I've missed my biological childbearing clock, so I'll just tell people it was by personal choice""" -I’d hit it from the back -Poster child for the Kamala Harris campaign -"You're practically 40, LIVE WITH YOUR ***MOTHER***...and claim you're childless by choice? - -I've met some pretty delusional people, but you're right up there with the best of them. It ain't by choice when you're not getting laid at all because no one wants to deal with the hot mess that's your life." -"Nice choices you’ve made, shame if someone were to die alone" -How much you fucked up that you have 0 friends. -Can't you mom take you to the Democratic convention to that mobile abortion van where they can perform a post-birth abortion? Why waste oxygen and resources that could be used on worthy brown people? -39 is the new 18 -"Childless by choice, not yours it seems" -If constipation had a face -“By choice” -How can I roast you harder than God who gave you that life you have. -Your 39 and live with your mom. You roasted yourself lol -This is the closest you can get to the female version of forty year old virgin.... Childless by choice (the choice being of all the men saying no!) -These pics are def you at your best. You at your best is a yikes to begin with. Hope the women empowerment makes you feel strong 💪 ✊🏿 -"Your colour is not black, it's beige." -So what exactly are you feeling good about? -How's it feel knowing that this post is pretty much your only legacy? -"That bathroom is hideous you should be ashamed. - -Get some more stylish frames while you're at it. - - - -I'm sorry I'm not good at this." -"When I was in high school, I was a virgin by choice. Same as you, it wasn't MY choice." -"“Lives with mom, never married, childless by choice, no friends, AND BROKE!” - -Yo, How tf are you broke?" -Broke and childless huh? That means only tips for you -Feel good about what? -LonelyFans -You posted basically the same picture 4 times -I'll marry you. That's even worse than a roast. -"When are you going to start a family? All of your friends are already with kids who are going to college next year.What about that nice young man Graig from the bank? He seemed interesting enough, at least he tried to talk to you.Are you looking for a job or you are just spending your time on that internet? It will not put money on the table, you know?" -“Childless by choice” is not synonymous with nobody wants to fuck you. -Childless by other people’s choice. -"Oh man, this is going to be a sad OnlyFans..." -you should stop lending your boyfriend money who lives with his wife -"By choice, means nobody choose you?" -Childless???? I can solve that problem out. -Stray cats cross the street when they see you coming. They know a collector when they see one. -Childless by choice? …….. Yeah I guess SOMEONE out there would hit it… maybe -Wasn’t she the psycho in the Walmart video who had a melt down bc a man challenged her for cutting in line? -Can you explain to us why exactly you're feeling good about yourself? -"""childless by choice"" you live with your mom. Sounds like she made the decision for you. - -Alt: thought I misread 19F, cus it seems like you never grew up." -If Daria was a person. -Shawty you didn’t have to caption this…we can read your mind through your forehead -Your face is so static -"You look like Bud Bundy from Married...with children, and live a little like him, at parents house. You as basement dwellers can only go up now your down, Even in that basement you can say 'Every day above ground is a good day'." -Plain Jane -Dammit Peggy get of the intraweb and go fix Bobby’s dinner -When even the hood rejects you… -You look like the kind of person who would eat an entire bucket of popcorn and perform a symphony of farts in a crowded movie theater -"so in other words, you're more used than that door, which was probably installed around the same time you were born" -You look how under seasoned chicken tastes. -How many cats do you have? I'd guess between 5 and 10. -How the hell are you single??? -By choice…. LOL -Maybe you should try meth now? Seems like it might save some time and help ya mom out. -Smash -Jesus...you have THE most average look ever. Damn... -Nothing we can say to you is more a roast than the mere testament of your own existence. -Genuinely quite curious here... Why on Earth were you starting to feel good about yourself? -You just roasted yourself.I don’t think it can get that much worse. -Between those legs it probably sounds like the 13 ghosts of scooby doo -You cant roast something that has been cremated. -Why -"Oh honey, it's not by choice. Trust me." -"""Childless by choice"" = can't get any dick for love not money" -How is that basement D&D game going? -Tell me I drive an Impreza without telling me I drive an Impreza. -Why would you possibly be feeling good about yourself? You’re a 40 year old child with literally nothing positive going for you. -If failure had a face... -"Thankyou OP, i’m a 23 yr old male who has trouble getting out and meeting people but youve just inspired me to break these shackles for fear I end up old and alone like you. Bless you !!!" -God is pretty fair. You must have a great personality. -Shoot you look you could be an art teacher -Living with your mom and still being broke is a new low. -"Childless by choice means nobody is interested. But on a positive note, lucky kids!" -Unenthusiastic handjob personified -Keep telling yourself that all of those things are by choice. 🙄 -You’re life will be even more miserable because you chose no kids -Are you always sitting on toilett taking pictures? -I’m guessing your poor mom didn’t have a choice. -"At least your mom can still claim you on her taxes, so you still have some purpose." -"You look nice. That's how this sub works, right?" -Oh boy do you have a bright future ahead of you. Look forward to spending the next 15 years of your life taking care of your aging parent. Only to have nobody around to take care of you as you grow old and die! -Whose choice? -39F is really too complimentary for you. -"If you had told us nothing we would have assumed all of your life facts except the ""starting to feel good about myself"" part " -What’s the point of saving your virginity only to end up at your mom’s house at 39 -at least you’re not pretty as well…. may was well go all-in -You look like the character in a movie who wants to do evil shit but no one will take you seriously so you just become a librarian and misplace the books. -"You're like that fun wine aunt, but minus the fun. Thanks for not reproducing though!" -"Childless by choice. - -Ya ok." -"How TF can you live with your mom, have no kids or friends to spend money with, and STILL be broke." -"Childless by choice, cap." -“Childless by choice” that’s a funny way to put it Casey Anthony -You look like you started out as Pam from the office but are about 75% of the way to Phyllis. -"All right, you asked for this. Girl, get yo no friends, no money having ass into my car. So I may take yo ("" I just starting to feel good about myself""), to dinner. Then I'll take yo never been married, with no kids having ass to my place and have your ankles behind your head and make babies. - -ROAST!! (drop mic 🎤)" -She wants to speak to the manager -Everyone of these pics are post dump? Plan b mornings mabey? Childless cuz they drowning in your toilet. -You might have some value... do you at least do butt stuff? -Your post says by choice but your eyes say help me. -I believe you were childless by choice. Not sure it was your choice. -You’re like the base model of a paper doll where adding clothes and accessories make the doll fantastic -If “fucked and never called again” needed a profile picture your phone would be ringing -I’ve got nothing. You’re way too beautiful. I’ve got nothing. -Childless by your choice or the child’s? -Halloween has come early. And in your case nobody comes early. -It by choice guys. -Anyone wanna bet how many cats she has? -Still waiting for the part you are currently feeling good about. -Facial expression range of Kristin Stewart. -Never married is sad when you notice the cosplay wedding ring you wear. Smh -Please move that piece of paper down about 10 inches. Thank you. -You have the sex appeal of soggy bread -Bloody messes from your abortions aren’t a replacement for your dwindling periods. -Is your name Cathy? Emphasis on the cat part -Tell me you're a lesbian and don't know it without telling me you're a lesbian and don't know it -You look like cats won’t come near you -You're the Temu version of Laura Prepon from Orange is the New Black -"It's not them, it's you" -I am human. I swear -Not by your choice -You have this look of being a failed low budget pornstar that now teaches school because Ron Jeremy said you were a terrible lay. -"You look like a ""before"" photo" -childless by choice. but not your own choice. -Your mom looks pretty good actually! Can you show us a pic of yourself now? -Nice key… ring. -Stay safe with your family! -"Childless ""by choice""." -"I am disappointed, I can't see cats and huge bad dragon. - -DM me if you need daily roast" -Where in the UK do you live -"Childless by choice. ""Choice""🤣🤣🤣 - -Sus" -"Sounds like you’re already down a bunch of pegs, no need to say anything else." -Your rent is cheap! Still the right side of 40. You don't have to deal with a significant other's bullshit! No screaming kids draining your soul and bank account. Ultimate freedom and actually quite pretty! Best get up the ER for this burn! -I don’t get this at all. You’re beautiful! -Man you don't often see a placental connection between a mother and a daughter last so long. Could she be the prophecy? -Shut up Meg -The reason that your cats don't run away? You smell like fish. -U look like a 2nd grade maths tutor -"Soo genuinely confused.. why would you start to feel good about yourself for the first time in two years with everything else you state leading up to that? - -Then, why would you want to be taken down a peg unless it was like a weird manifestation of your conscience crying out because deep down you know everything you describe prior IS a mistake and you have nothing to feel good about? - -Also just curious, why is “childless” the only thing you feel the need to specify with “by choice”?" -"Childless ""by choice"" and still broke.. dang." -Being utterly repulsive to any man alive is not childless by choice -You look like a librarian that is trying to sneak into a wicken to retrieve an overdue book -I can smell the cat piss from here -Not sure why you feel good about yourself -I wouldn't ride you into battle. -Lmao your cats are going to eat you -"If you wanna be taken down just look in the mirror. - -I feel bad for the mirror for having to reflect you." -"So basically, 39F, spinster. - -You could have just saved us from the long dissertation." -You need to go to a bar tonight and seriously get laid……… -Are you waiting for a similarly aged and unremarkable stepsister so that you can start an entertainment company with a pitch involving your stepdad's yacht? -Are you waiting for a similarly aged and unremarkable stepsister so that you can start an entertainment company with a pitch involving your stepdad's yacht? -Why do I feel like JD Vance had left your town 5 minutes before he came up with the childless cat ladies phrase -I’m new to this Reddit Why would you ask a bunch of strangers to roast you -"I’m really glad you’re finally feeling good about yourself but, it’s got me wondering …….. HOW?" -comment -You look like the average homeless guy who thinks he's a wizard. -"I survived cancer too, stop giving us a bad name." -Did you beat cancer or did it just give up on you like life did? -Cancer is getting lazy -"Bro, I don't think you survived" -If Albert Einstein was dumb and the only formula he knew was for cooking meth -"beating cancer but not baldness has gotta be up there in the top 10 for the epitome of the idiom ""you win some you lose some""" -"I misread that as ""make me senile""." -Rumpel steals skin -Looks like your surviving ugly too so congrats on both -"Can't roast you, brother. You defeated cancer. We are nobody to roast a warrior. Live long, stay healthy!" -He beat cancer to die from a stroke after reading all the posts. -Knock it off. cirrhosis of the liver is not cancer. -Not ripping on a cancer survivor…bravo sir. -Roast you or make you smile? Either you are a brave soul and congrats or you know where “the good” dumpsters are. -"You may have beat cancer, but it got a few good licks in." -"""Where are my glasses? Somebody hid my glasses! Oh, those darn kids!""" -Oh wow…. why bother. Dude looks like got roasted 50yrs ago. -Next time pick a Sagittarius as your wife -Did you actually survive because you look like you've been drawn into the picture. -Survivor? *sigh* -"Did you go to school with George Washington? - -For real tho congrats on beating cancer!" -Surviving cancer just to end up on Reddit…… I know a masochist when I see one. -If I was cancer I’d let you survive just to get away from you -So i guess chemotherapy was your drug of choice -"I’m less than half your age and beat cancer twice already. Next. - -(Proud of you and happy for you though 🫶)" -Looks like you beat the cancer on second try. -"WHAAAAAAT DID YOU SAY, HUH? You put the "" G"" in Geezer!" -"Life has already done that, sir. Thank you for your service" -you look startled and upset did someone nick your crack stash? -Was it tooth cancer? No wonder they had to take them all out. -The cancer was the only thing keepin the wife happy -Live that you beat Cancer! Be well my friend -"So which of those damn grandkids hid ur teeth, put ur glasses on top of ur head, handed you the roast me sign which u culdnt read, and said dont worry no one else will see this pic?" -Looks like cancer dodged a bullet. -Now that he beat cancer he can spend the rest of his life trying to open a jar -"Your glasses are dirtier than your ""old man mind""" -"You survived cancer. There, that should make you smile." -"Dude, honor your life. Do good. Don’t do this." -"Actually, I don't have the heart to roast him. He just looks like a wonderful grandpa who spends time with his grandchildren fishing in the lake. He just looks like a nice old man who would call you a young man or a young lady. And the fact that he wants to smile by us roasting him is so pure oml😭😭. Ain't no way I'm roasting him. BE MY GRANPDA PLS😭🙏" -You might have won the war but cancer won A LOT of battles -"Your a f*ckin hero, survivor and damn good sense of humor! Bet having a beer with you would be fun as shit lmao" -I thought you said you survived -I can't even roast a cancer survivor that's just amazing to hear man congratulations -That's fucked up I'm all for roasting people but not an old guy that survived cancer -Got those Charles Manson eyes -I’m not gonna roast you. I’m Gen X. I have respect for my elders -its like you died and the cancer survived and is using you like a skin suit. like the bug in MIB -He didn’t have cancer.. cancer had him -Beat cancer but couldn't beat that criminal hairline -"You’ve been looking for your glasses for a solid week, haven’t you?" -The “time to make the donuts” guy didn’t age well -It was check out time and you didn't leave? Rotten you. -You look like Bill Nye from the Future. Who built a time machine to come back to a time where he's allowed within 200 yards of a school. -You look like you made Pinocchio just so you can sit on his nose - Did you survive meth too? -Your age should be enough to make you smile :) -"You're 69 but you look like you lived those years twice. -So do you forget your real age like ... how you forget to wear glasses? Putting them on your head doesn't make you see better." -Are you sure you beat cancer? Looks like your colon cancer just migrated to your face! -You're my boy Blue! -"Hey gramps! My uncle passed away with cancer too. -Props to you gramps!" -"So this is what happened to Paul Chuckle lost his brother, turned to the crack pipe. Oh and your photo looks like a DUI mugshot, you look like you may have done that before..." -Twice baked cockatoo -"Congrats on finally having a 69 in your life, but i really don't care for astrology." -You should have let cancer win. -"Dammit,the ibe time we're on cancers side" -I don't want to make you smile.... I don't want to see what's left of your teeth -Fuck me if that’s surviving death would have been the kind choice. -Charles Manson without tattoos -"Not only tumors, you also hoard kitchen appliances!" -"Methamphetamine survived cancer, amazing" -*Looks at cadaver cleverly posed for photo* Are you sure you survived? -"Even your cancer is a loser. - -Glad you made it." -"Cancer of the tortoise shell is no joke, glad to see you surviving without yours" -They call you hyman roth -"Cancer decided to leave you alone because you are so fricking old and gonna die anyway. - -Cancer thought that would be piling on." -"Cancer didn't survive you, that's how disappointing your cancer was." -"Beat cancer, but couldn’t beat that trailer park life." -"You look ready for your next battle , against AIDS now champ" -You didn’t get cancer. Cancer got you -I don't think I can roast you any better than the 70s already did. -Thank you for not smiling in your pic. I'm sure we'd just see a large gummy void. -You know it’s sad when cancer doesn’t even want you… -tick tock -Survived cancer? Yer to tough for hell to contain ya. -Smiling requires teeth. -Why’d you bother surviving? -Cancer dint survive you !!! -Sling Blade sequel is looking rough. -Even cancer thought you weren't worth it -"Bad News, you’ve been dead for the past nine years." -"I don't see the point of roasting him, he's got two breaths to go" -"Bet it feels good having dodged the roast, for now. 😂" -And here I though chemo was the perfect solution to a bad hair day. -"You want a second dose of chimio? This one could be fatal, little toast" -"You survived? Holy shit, I thought this was /r RoastMyCarcass." -Bootleg walter white -Looks like cancer survived you. -"Dude, cancer survived YOU." -Cancer gave up on you like your family and society ……. -Yer my boy blue -The cancer did not survive you -Why would you make me root for Cancer? -Tooth cancer? -"You might be technically alive, but survivor is laying it on a bit thick" -Where are we gonna get plutonium from in 1955??? -"You faked cancer so you could stay in bed and be lazy, only to hop out full of life when Charlie came home with the Golden Ticket" -“Survivor” -You look recently deceased -"For the moment. - regards, Cancer" -You sure you survived? -This is how I imagine cancer would look if it was a human. -"""survivor"" is being used pretty loosely here, you snaggle-toothed hermit." -He survived. But his Family wishes otherwise. -Cancer should have won this time. -Are you sure you survived? Is that a Sandworm at the front door? -Are you sure you survived the cancer? Has anyone taken your pulse lately? -"You're grandkids ain't shit for this! 😂 - -""Hey, gramps, wanna take a pic for the socials?""" -"For the first time ever, the hospital allowed the cancer to ring the bell when it was finally free of YOU." -It looks like the grim reaper is trying to fool us with a proof of life. -Not many women named cancer nowadays -"You took the fun out with your pitty throw. -That’s the equivalent of saying I’m a cancer survivor, make fun of me." -Doc Brown finally found a hair dresser and ...meth. -Bummer. This was the one time everyone was actually rooting for cancer to win. -It means that hell don't even accept you. -Damn. That radiation really cleaned you up. -Not even death wants anything to do with you -"Your teeth, cancer, I assume your children, seems like nothing wants to be around you for long." -Looks like the cancer already roasted you. -Bro you look like the crackhead version of Steven Speilberg -"For photos, please put your teeth back in." -"Cancer took one look at you and said ""Nah.""" -"Even the cancer thought, fuck that I'm not sticking around this guy for any longer!" -This was posted nearly 24 hours ago. Is he still around? The guy probably doesn't even buy green bananas. -"Having someone save your the ""cancer on the ass of society"" does not make you a cancer survivor." -"Cancer, is that what they all call meth these days?" -"Gosh for a second I thought Doc Brown returned back from the past to tell us that his relationship with cancer had a future... - -So the term Chemical Brother gets a new meaning I guess." -Cancer? Is that what we are calling meth now? -Nice -Sorry I ain't roasting no cancer survivor. The smell would be horrible. -"Judging by the picture, you’re living in the attic of this house without the owners’ knowledge and you come down at night to shoot selfies in the kitchen." -"Cancer survived cancer? - -Seriously, congrats though" -You look like you steal catalytic converters -Roast? dude you’ve been fried to a crisp already -"Sir, you deserve to be honored!@! You made me smile." -"Good for you, you don't look a day over 67!" -"First: Congrats on beating Cancer. - -Second: I guess the treament made you look like a saggy ballsac...oh well." -Impressive ventriloquism. I can almost see it shaking through the still frame -You look like every homeless guy that asks you for a cigarette. -I don't need to put anything in the comments I could just say it out loud and you could hear me from anywhere in the world with those large ears. (Hope this makes you smile😸) -Has a doctor conformed that you survived? It doesn't look it from here. -You wrote 89 wrong. -Sometimes cancer gets it wrong -You may have survived cancer but don’t look like it. -You are never going to find your glasses -Why does this fool look like the old man that fixes Woody in toy story 2?? -"I think it’s a little early to claim survived, looks like it may go into OT…" -Even cancer doesn’t want to be with you -Doc from Back to the future but without any science or time machine. Just meth. Lots of meth. -You look like a skinny Pedro Pascal. -Even cancer didn't want to stay with you. -Even cancer hates you !! -You look like the chicken they didn’t slaughter cuz there’s not enough meat -You’re sure you survived cancer? -Hey hate to burst your bubble.But I think cancer won -No doubt he’s been looking for his glasses for the last 2 weeks -"Cancer was like, it sucks living in this dude; I’m out of here." -"Ladies and Gentlemen we have special treat for you this evening, straight out of Family Guy it’s John Herbert!" -Must've had tooth cancer... -"In case you forgot, you’re glasses are on your head" -You misspelled “holocaust survivor “ -He's been looking for his glasses all day -Which bit survived? -You're handsome and look like you'd be fun to play Crabs with -Make you smile or send you back to chemo your call??? -Head looks as if it wore out two bodies before this one -Man you look like a guy that buys a car with the check engine light already on. -Are you sure you survived? -"Oh, looking here... It's The Wizard of Weird!" -You look like you spend your free time chasing after Chris Griffin and his friends. -"If Courage the Cowardly Dog got a live action adaptation, you would be a shoe it to play Eustace." -That’s cool that cancer survived after being in your body and all but what we really wanna know is how many feet you have to stay away from schools and daycares? -Those glasses aren’t gonna make up for your lost lips and jawline -Just because she put some coins in your paper cup that one fine day doesn’t mean you were married. Time to put the ring back on the graveyard corpse you stole it from? -is cancer what we’re calling a thirty year meth binge these days? -You could have said you survived world war (or maybe 2) I think you'll survive reddit too :D -Charles Manson mad dogging you - cancer edition -You have been roasted enough to get rid of your cancer Sir!! Good job and bless you!! -Only 69? -"Holy shit, you survived? Couldn't tell." -Are you certain you survived? -"Cancer survivor, now wrinkle collector." -Hey nice job on hand carving Pinocchio -After your death your wife will say atleast I will be able to see you get hard atleast once in a lifetime -"Survivor, that's more than can be said for his victims." -Why roast you when cancer couldn’t even deal with you? You will probably bore it to death. -Cancer usually makes people bald but it took a break cus you were half way there -You are so ugly concer survived you -Smokie and the bum bandit -This guy watches little girls get off the bus for sure -Are... are you sure you survived? -Tales from the crypt -Tried new experimental electric shock treatment. Cancer gone. But forever destined to look like the guy from The Great Outdoors who gets fried by lightning repeatedly. -Glad to see chemo didn’t take all of your hair -"Hey Dale, I hated it when that Walker tore your guts out in Walking Dead.." -Stop stealing my catalytic converters -Survived cancer but a cold winter is going to finish you -Hahah 69... nice -You look like Barry chuckle crossed with the opioid epidemic -You look like you have a van filled with sweets that you try & lure them in with. -"Statistically speaking, it’ll all be over for you soon, so you can smile about that" -Even cancer didn't want to be in you... -I lost my damn teeth again 🦷 -You look like a shaved Owl. -You survived but none of the women you’ve ever met did. -"You didn't beat cancer, let's call it a draw..." -"you smell like raw garlic, through the phone i caught that one" -survived cancer and the trailer park -I’ll bite! They exhumed you huh? -If you’ve got radiation then you’ve already roasted yourself -"You look like you should be shouting at passerbys outside a convenience store. Congrats on beating cancer, though." -I'm glad you survived cancer -You're just trying to show off your tooth aren't you -Are you SURE you survived? -"oh, survivor word gonna be gone soon" -Not sure this guy knows what roast me means. Probably wondering why everyone is being mean 😂😂 -"Judging by your face, I'm afraid to see you smile. I don't think that picture could ever be erased" -Wilson has aged terribly -"You went to the doctor thinking you had arthritis. Doctor told you, you had early onset rigor mortis" -Woah I think I saw you asking for change at the stop light -You want me to hold the phone farther away for you? -Angel Of Death: 🤮 Can’t take that smell. -You look like one of the chuckle brothers… the deceased one. -Cancer take your top lip ? -Uncle Si? It's been so long! -Are you sure? -You look like you got cancer from making meth in your basement -"Dumbo! Cmon, fly!! Open them ears! The magic feather was just a gag! , you can fly! Hey, open’em up! Hurryyyyyyy!" -Great Scott! Is that Doc brown? -You look like the guy who made Pinocchio. -Reanimator sequel -Looks like he sleeps in a slow cooker. -"You’re so skinny, I’m afraid any roasting will turn you to ash." -mf looks like intoxicated Einstein -"It annoys me that your lights behind you are not aligned , other than that your a hero so idk treat yourself to some Lego" -"Nothing to roast my guy, congrats on surviving cancer ❤️❤️ roast some potatoes instead 👍👍👍" -The only patient to insist on taking chemo rectally. -You already look like you got roasted -"Not worth a roast. You done good sir, appreciate your win." -Did the cancer leave you looking like you did too much meth? -I refuse to roast you -You look like the guy who tells all his friends how he was a Vietnam war veteran when in reality you are actually a homeless dude who lies through his ass -Y’know how many your age are over the hill? Well you’re over the mountain. -You look like the cancer won two months ago. -You’re an inspiration to the world. You fought and beat cancer….That should be all the smiling you need sir. Have a great day brother. -"You look like every guy I’ve seen holding a sign either about how the earth is flat, aliens live among us or something about saving Jesus." -I don't think we wanna see that. -Great job whipping cancer! Now you can go back and focus on losing your virginity. -Mad Miles Jr (Pit Fighter) -Dude is so ugly even cancer doesn't want to stay with him. -You’re my boy Blue! -Charmin finally let Mr. Whipple retire. -You look like you survived petrification -Get back demon! -Nah man life roasted you ! -This guy totally sneaks into backyards and sticks his pecker in their jacuzzi jet holes. -Looks like Hitler’s cousin. -you dont look a day over 187. -"Thank god you survived cancer, you should pay it forward by releasing those women you have locked in the shipping container buried on your property" -You look like a trucker who kidnaps women on the highway. -Go back to six flags -"Let's just call it a draw, instead of you beating cancer" -looks mike you’re roasted enough from the chemo -Was it eyebrow cancer because those caterpillars are atrocious. -Too much fentanyl. -"I keep hearing, ""hey, hey man, I really need some money for food, I haven't eaten in days man...well, can you at least spare a smoke,"" outside of my local liquor store." -"You look like the abused malted bird down at the shelter. - -Congratulations on surviving though." -Looks like the main character of the new pixar movie DOWN. -Trevor from temu -Giving Mister Peepers vibes. -You look like turtle taken out of its shell -You probably deserve cancer for what you did to those people in Nam. -You don't look like you survived... 🤔 -So you survived tooth cancer? Guess they had to remove them all. -Don't you own the Colts? -"You have a Delorean in the garage, am I right? Next to the cadavers." -You look like you live in the wild chasing squirrels for food -"Thank God your stopped proliferating, this is more than enough you." -You're gaze is so uncomfortable even your pizza rolls want to get a restraining order when you're staring at them in the microwave like that -"I think you gave the cancer the good, old-fashioned willies and scared it off! Congratulations stay strong !" -Hmm.. I think it’s at least a draw on the cancer thing. -The old man from toy story 2 who restores woody -im not gonna roast u lol but i hope u have an awesome day bro -"Looks like a tie to me. - - -(Seriously, congrats on beating cancer)" -You look like an unwanted testicle. -Where in the farm fresh fuck have I seen your face before -"Congratulations on beating that monster. I have no roast, I'm just glad you'll be seeing another Thanksgiving with all of us. My mother is currently fighting cancer, so I love seeing survivors and victors/champions over this monster. - -I hope you enjoy your weekend." -Jeffery epstien just escaped from his grave -Cancer must of had a bad day to let you escape... -"If they don’t find you handsome, at least they’ll find you handy." -Why are we here? The radiation already roasted you. -"Not going to make you smile. The way you look, there's no telling what's behind those lips." -"Sir, this is the afterlife version of reddit. You didn't survive." -Looks like he survived meth too -"Mate, I don't think reconstructive surgery could make that face smile." -"Holy shit you’re only 69! - -And no roast here will come close to the cremation you are due for in the next 6 months. You look like death itself" -Can you send us some pictures with your face in them? These pictures are disgusting! -Did you have gizzard cancer? -"The chemo already roasted you hard enough, babe." -You look like you squeeze a lot of Charmin -"Bill Macy, Bea Arthur is dead." -You might be a cancer survivor but you still have to respond for that Sharon Tate thing… -"That's sad what cancer do to people, you looked so much better in 'tales from the crypt' ..." -Looks like cancer got the best of you. -Didn't know they treat cancer with electroshock therapy. -Literally disproving survival of the fittest -Cancer didn't survive you -"It was a canker, not cancer you simple prick! Learn to read. - - - - - ->!(seriously though, I am happy for you)!<" -Your glasses are so red I would confuse them for little loops of red licorice -They took our jerbs! -Why do I feel like 2 feet to the left there's a hoard in that house.... -I'd roast you but seeing what they did to you at Auschwitz it seems you've survived enough already. -"Looking young, Grandpa! You must have a portrait aging somewhere in the attic, because it sure isn’t you!" -Did your brother make a time machine out of a DeLorean? -"I don't think you roast dehydrated items, Mr. Raisin." -I don't want to he looks too innocent and been through a lot have a good day 😔 -I don't tink you survived cancer as much as cancer didn't survive you -His online dating is carbon dating. -"3rd guy in line at soup kitchen had someone write him a song..,,good for them" -I would say you like a very sweet old janitor if you weren't clearly a child sex offender -borrow some teeth u never no u might smile -Promise if I make you smile your teeth won't fall off? -You look like a freshly hatched bird. -Grandpa Munster after a bender -"""Someone needs to feed you some wet lettuce and put you in a box for the winter."" Congratulations on beating the beast, I wish you good health and the longevity of the galapagus turtle I compared you to. All the best my friend." -Cancer sucks!!!! Do you? How about a gum job? -You look like a deceased turtle that has been lying in the sun on the side of the road for a while -I won’t make a cancer smile -"Sorry to be the guy to tell you this, but you actually didn’t survive. Welcome to hell!" -Your very beautiful -How do you define “survive”? Maybe you should have given up? - Half of your jaw is inside your neck -This guy puts the emo in chemo. -The third chuckle brother. 😂 Atleast you didn't end up like Barry though. Oh dear oh dear. -Is the hairline from chemotherapy?  -Whatever we do won’t be near as good as what the chemo did -"Yes I Can, Sir!" -“Survivor” is a stretch. -Robert Englund??? -"after dividing a few times in that reanimated corpse of a body, it looks like your cancer got cancer." -I bet you got arrested for assault after you beat cancer -Is that old man Jenkins? -was it face cancer? -"Surviver feels like a stretch. - -I bet you pushed a little kid out of the way to get that chemo, you monster. - -Spending your kids inheritance on living longer, stingy ass!" -"Honestly bro, great job. Fuck cancer. And your hairline, but mostly cancer." -You're my boy Blue!! -"""Cancer?"" Is that what you were faking all these years while mooching off Charlie and his poor mother, until your miraculous recovery at the sight of a Golden Ticket?" -I feel sorry for the cancer that had to deal with you -By the looks of it cancer left you for the mail man -"Well good thing is you are ready for Halloween, being nothing but skin and bones" -Too make you smile I would have to sew your moustache to the top of your ears. -you survived cancer cuz neither heaven nor hell wants to look at that ugly mug -You look like you saw a leprechaun once and stopped talking about it after it ruined more than one Thanksgiving. -"I would roast you, but the chemo already did a pretty good job." -Make you smile? I’ll make you laugh. Look at your dick. -Hitler beat us to it. -you look like you'd be a fun dad/grandpa. not even gonna roast. hope you're having a great day!!! congrats on beating cancer. -Real life Old Man Herbert from Family Guy. Lots of popsicles in the cellar. -"Cancer survivor, huh? Looking at you, I'd call it a Pyrrhic victory." -You look like the Cancer won -you look easy to draw -"You look like you ask me for illegal substances -(Congrats on beating cancer!!)" -You seem very alert -After all these years - we finally see Vern!!! -How do you look old and like a baby bird at the same time ... -Nice! another way to use drugs for the rest of your remaining days! You are cool guy. -You might’ve survived cancer but looks like the meth is winning -I thought grampa from the Munsters died years ago -"I’m not gonna roast you. I’m sending you love. Like the rest of the sadistic people in this group, I don’t get off and tearing people down." -"I hope you live a long, fun life. - -We're all scared of cancer, and hopefully, we can beat it like you did." -You look like a midwestern tweaked out Popeye -Hey man glad you survived my grandma died from it. Wish I knew her better -Dude says 69 face says 70. -You’re all scumbags. -You sure you survived? -If your turn your camera upside down he’s actually smiling 🙂 -You look like meth’s best friend. “Mom can we keep him? We’re gonna call him air-biscuits” -I don’t think you survived the cancer. Looks like you died 4 months ago -"Surviving Cancer is 69...Cancer eating you, you ate cancer" -"You're so similar in appearance to my father that you could be his brother, if he had lived to be your age. Congrats on winning your fight." -Looks like chemo already did roast you -"Holy shit this man beat cancer and then decided to post something here? That's kind a funny tho not gonna lie😂 the age is funny too but I'm sure he won't be able to do ""this"" ever again" -"Budwieser, Marlboro Reds, cane pole fishing, and solitare Saturdays can put a toll on ya for sure." -"Now we know what would win, between Cancer and Meth" -Looking at the camera like he’s 7 again at the Turkish baths with his Grandpa!! -Cooking meth in the basement -Lost the cancer but kept the aesthetic. -Bill nye the cancer guy -"With your looks, I bet you scared the shit out of cancer! Congrats!" -Challenge to make you smile considering you look like a guy who can’t remember where he put his teeth -"Seriously, I think you need a second opinion...." -"Everybody says 69 is great, but after seeing this I'm not so sure." -"Bro, you mistyped 96." -Cancer couldn't tolerate your body any more than women can  -You look like you’ve survived a nuclear war -Survivor? Are you sure? -The only thing that makes you smile is the reason you're on a register list which means you can't go near schools or parks. -Even cancer doesn’t want you? -"Bro, got any teeth?" -"Man so old he owes Jesus 5 bucks - -Lost his virginity during the prohibition, it was quite dry - -You look like you call the cops the fuzz & flatfoot" -The cancer went to the doctor and found out it had stage 4 you -I hear you just paid off your student loan. Your diagnoses of arthritis was wrong. Your doctor called and said it's early onset rigor mortis. -Why didn't you tell Marty he's gonna have parkinson's?! What an asshole -"I'm asking the American Cancer Society for my money back. -You look practiced at holding a name placard in front of you for mug shots. -So this is what Harry Potter looked like after giving Ginny Hogwarts." -"You’re like 85 years old, how do you know what Reddit even is?" -Your eyes look like you just saw the light for the first time 😅 -Freddy Kruger tar tar! -Did you really survive? That body appears dead -"At least cancer helped you lose a little weight, you were looking kind of chunky when you filmed UP." -comment -"""She's mature for her age"" is not a solid defense, just FYI" -You look like you can’t read without keeping your finger under the words either. -Foo put “roast me” on the back of his court papers. -Twink 182. -You look like a Waffle House “line cook” -You also ride with a closed grip butthole on a seatless bicycle -When your dealer keeps a low profile by also working as a clown. -You look like you wait outside a highschool for your girlfriend -You look like your retirement fund is in Marlboro Miles. -I wonder what he did to the little boy he stole that bike from ? -If “Flunked Drug Test” had a face. 🚀 -"How ironic.. your nickname in the shower room in prison was also ""closed grip fist""" -“Ma said if I sell enough meth she’ll get me the big boy bike” -"All that ink, and yet can't afford any child support." -You look like you have multiple felonies for aggravated bicycle seat sniffing. -Beastiality Boys -“The foster system told me I could became anything so I became white trash” -"Spends all his money on tattoos, cant afford a lawn mower. But that's okay, lots of children grow up in South Carolina playing in the weeds." -He's riding his only means of transportation. He beat up some junior high kid for it. -You look like a power bottom -"You look like you'd crash a kid's birthday party, crush his Capri Sun and steal his BMX and ride home to your mom's basement to smoke weed and play X-box." -Guess your Ed Hardy collection is at the dry cleaners? -"Jesus dude, you look like the stereotypical tweaker that lives in the high desert trailer parks. All those awful tattoos map a life of smoking glass pipes and wearing handcuffs." -"You look like someone who could be hired to speak to teenagers about the dangers of being a Juggalo. - -You have definitely had gross sex with a fat chick in a porta-john at a Kid Rock concert." -"Got my Little Tykes picnic table, my Kool Aid Jammers juicy pack, a carton of Marlboro reds, and my emotionally abusive foster mom is picking me up at three so I can make it to the probation office on time. Don’t hate the Playuh, Dawg. 🚀" -"Next stop, a meeting with Chris Hansen" -There’s no seat in that bike….and you like bumpy roads -"I am not American but watched many horror movies of yours. You look like the middle aged hillbilly dude in the opening of one those movies who spits tobacco and points to the gas station to a collage group in a minivan, sending them to your inbred relatives to be butchered." -Like someone vajazzled a rat. -That puzzled look tells me someone just explained to you that you can’t just be ”gay in while you’re in prison.” -Opie Trailer Trash. -Avoiding people like you is the reason people buy in an HOA. -see the importance of one missing chromosome? -I bet if you stood up that bike would too. -You better never let Joe Exotic see you or you’re getting married. -That thing on your leg is probably the only pus you get -How’s all those child support payments going? -Calling us pussies while drinknig koolaid at a kids table -You made yourself look like Bieber so you can get some love off Diddy. -Second DUI. Third stolen bike. -You ever noticed kids don't ride bikes anymore? It's just tweekers and crackheads. -"How tf do you look old and overweight at 28years old, 5’8”, and 170lbs?" -This is the exact reason abortions needs to be allowed -Nothing says ‘Productive Member of Society’ like a grown adult on a BMX bike -Mow your fucking lawn -You look like the “bad kid” in a 90’s Nickelodeon show that grew up and put on his outfit from the show to take pictures with fans. -The 5th member of Hoobastank. -I bet you jerk off your teenage tattoo artist with a closed grip fist too -If crack was wintergreen flavored you'd smoke it. -You look like someone who has never heard of the metric system -"If a trailer park and a lung cancer had a premature baby, it would still look better than you" -Has little man insecurities but appreciates being the same height as his partner’s waist to give premium blowjobs. -You look like a dangerous barista -"You look like you have a stash of old hustler magazines in an abandoned tree house that you go and jerk off to after you chase away the wild life and you get off knowing theres a perverted squirrel watching you - - -And youre short." -This is a background character from the king of staten island -"Hey Buddy, I don't know what's more annoying - your constant need to wear those tacky gay shorts or your desperate attempt to hide your true sexuality." -Brave of you to show up in a playground… I’m sure that’s an immediate VOP -The gringo in a Spanish community -"Let me guess. - -Your license is suspended over missed child support payments, so now you have to ride your kid’s bike." -Great value Mexican foo -You look like the kinda guy that would spend $10k on Zyn’s to get a couple hundred dollar Traeger for “free”. -blud is so high he cant even open his eyes 😭 -There's a dildo installed in place of the seat -"“Of course I don’t wear pants or sleeves. It’s so I can so off how original I am. I am mommy’s special boy, after all!”" -Starring in the new upcoming Discovery Channel reality TV show: In My Mother's Basement -Your knees look like you suck dick for bus fare -Crust punk cum dump -How much copper have you ripped out of walls in a single day? -If Dollar Store was a person. -Nothing says success like a tatted up adult on a kids bike. -"If your mom, sister, cousin and your wife were to die in a car crash, you would still need only one coffin..." -Domestic Violence Ken -I can tell just by looking at you that you’re hung like a doorknob -I see you put r/Roastme on the back of your recent court documents. Hope that goes well for you. -Dude can't decide if he is against immigrants or if he is an immigrant -"If life was tennis, you’d suck at tennis." -You look like if Mike Miller never played basketball and sold cigarettes and lame weed to teenagers -You look like Hunter Biden an hour before he met his first crack dealer back in the day. -Anders Holmo-wick -"Looks like jelly rolls shittier brother, tp roll. Selling loose cigarettes and demo tapes for trumps go fund me so you can stay in the trailer park" -Heeeyyyy kids!!! I’ve got kool-aid jammers!!!! -28 going on 45. -"You look like you say “So you 17 17, or 17 about to be 18?” a lot" -"If you were a cologne, it would be called ""Chmo""" -Did you just get back from stealing a car stereo on that bike? -Looks like jigsaw molested Billy the Puppet -"I never knew what -Bawitdaba, da-bang, da-bang, diggy-diggy-diggy -Said the boogie, said up drop the boogie -Bawitdaba, da-bang, da-bang, diggy-diggy-diggy -Said the boogie, said up jump the boogie, -Meant until today." -“My baby mama keeps my kid from me” -If straight pride month was a person -Ur neighbors can’t wait for the meth explosion 💥 -no ragrets -Nice bike. How many DUIs? -"This your 11th time in 12th grade? Run out of desk space for your doodles so you got tattoos instead - -Time to quit playing Edward 40 hands and graduate, bud" -"When you die, you’re gonna turn into that demon that terrorizes people just cause you think it’s funny" -I bet you look at breaking bad like it’s the educational channel -Jesse Pinkman if he actually got high on the merch. -"Prison Break, trailertrash paedophile edition. -When all you can afford is a kids toy as getaway wheels" -574 comments. But you still didn’t break 100 upvotes. For shame. Nobody likes you😕 -"Was paid to mow these folks grass, but slept with their 17 year old daughter instead." -Fuck I hate carnies... -Your friends have a group chat without you. -Straight outta Trailer Park Boys -There is no seat on that bike -Duval or Polk County? You’re definitely resembling a r/floridaman -"Look like you recently lost your job at Wendy’s where you act like dropping a fry basket is equivalent to launching an exploratory satellite, since you were once again 15 minutes late for your shift because you lost track of time hanging out on a drum set at Guitar Center telling a 16 year old girl about the time your Say Anything cover band came in 3rd at your 10th grade Battle of the Bands" -These transgenders are getting ballsy… -"He's used to having a closed fist, as that's what he puts up his ass every night." -"Gummo part 2, in theaters near you…" -"👆If Elon Musk was bike stealing, broke redneck with a porn 'stache. - -Looks like the saddle is hitting your prostate. Holistically, it's like a modern art installation in tribute to gay porn." -the ambassador of disappointment -What in the Meth -"Judging by the amount of money you throw away on tatts and smokes, you must have a pretty successful paper route. I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!" -"Kool-Aid Jammers … for when you’re too poor to afford Capri Sun, but those kids ain’t gonna groom themselves." -“Do your worst pussies.” Someone did. Here you are. -You guys remember Cookie Monster pants hot Cheeto girl from high school? This is her babydaddy. -"You peaked at 16 and will take it out on your children. Also, nice mustache did you find it on Grindr?" -"Your face screams “I don’t mind chicks with kids, I know they put out”" -"Spent so much money on tattoos he wasn’t able to afford a car, new shoes or even a real Portland Trail Blazers jersey…" -"Dude looks like he’s about to get a DUI riding a bike. But what does he know, he cant read nor understand the laws" -Still gets detained by the cops so they can contact the local high school for skipping class. -“Can’t get a DUI on a bike!” *gets DUI on a bike* -I'll bet your feet don't even touch the ground when you sit at that little picnic table. -Hispanic k-fed -Did you lose your license from a dui or a oui -Ah the classic 3+ DUIs bike. -Walmart version of “Uncle Rico”. -You'd call a 170lb woman too fat for you -Damn! Even Chuck Liddell on hard times now -Tell me you're from Florida without telling me you're from Florida -Why can’t I make Reddit stop showing me this stupid fucking subreddit -"Your mustache looks like it's about to arrest the rest of you. - -Worst undercover cop ever. - -Reno 911 lookin' ass." -"Still gotcher bike, huh?" -Your lawn speaks enough about you -You only date girls that are tops -Sweet bike. The chick's must love it -"Forrest Gump made the phrase ""Momma says Stupid is as Stupid does"" famous. Your Momma was the first to ever say it." -"Answer: In prison,supposed to be wearing bifocals,crayons and someone else who's parents are related. Question: Where and who the fuck did those kindergarten ass dumb fuck tatoos on your gross meth soaked pile of shit you call a body." -Got Meth -"Next time, before you do squats..." -I’d smoke cigarettes too if I was 5’8 -You look like a diablo sammich with a doctor pepper. -GET A JOB U LOSER -You look like you’re from Cincinnati. -"Instead of sitting on that bike, why don't you sit on my dick and pedal my balls?" -This is stewie when he focuses on fitness instead of drugs -You're the bastard son Uncle Rico didn't know he had -I’ll bet that bike has no seat -You should start paying for your tattoos -"PSA; tattoos are forever, but self immolation is more forever." -Small hat -Your tinder profile is trash homie. Unfiltered cigarettes are not a hobby. -Yeah yeah whatever man just make sure my burger doesn’t have cheese on it. -Was that English? -I think you should be proud! Did your parents buy you that nice bike for graduating to grade 5? 👍🎓 -"You know you buy bigger bikes as you get taller, not as your D changes right? :-P - -Sorry I couldn't resist. Have a great day :)" -I feel like you can ruin my life in new ways -You look like a guy who brings ghb to festivals and starts fights in moshpits. -“Bro im good for it. Its just a g.” -At least he can dodge the draft with no issue -"""do our worst""??? Your parents far exceeded any worst reddit could do when they blasted dads sperm on a rotten egg." -You look like you were born in upper middle class but talk about being poor because mommy and daddy cut you off. -"What do me and your lawn have in common? - -We both wish we could cut ourselves after seeing this" -"Jeez, this guy again. Have you bought a seat for that bike yet or still riding it rough trying to get rid of that taint tatoo?" -If coors light monster energy and Newports was a person with a sprinkle of crystal -No matter how long you pretend to be eight years old your dad still isn’t coming back from getting smokes. And he definitely left because of you. -Perpetually a high schooler.  -You look like you work security for a petting zoo -I think even cops would tell you to pick a better undercover outfit. -"Forgot leg day, And arm, and chest, and personality" -28 going for 40 -"If you could find it in your heart to just put down the meth pipe and pick up a lawnmower instead, your neighbors would appreciate it. Also your shins wouldn't be getting slapped when you bomb through your yard on a stolen BMX bike. Maybe use your meth money to invest in a vehicle.(after you get your drivers license)" -I’m guessing your mommy makes your lunch. -Uncle Rico if he was stuck in 2002 instead of 1982... -You the type of guy to name your sons after you to make it easier to steal their identities -You look like the type of guy who sells shitty weed and is responsible for repeated outbreaks of chlamydia. -Do you ever go to parties with people who are not in high school? -"You’re like a software update—no one really wants you, everyone tries to avoid you, and when you finally show up, you somehow manage to mess up everything that was working just fine. If we were to personify a buffering YouTube video, it would look just like you—annoying, unreliable, and always stopping at the worst possible moments. Not only that but You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy—always present but never actually contributing anything worthwhile. If your life were a movie, it would go straight to DVD and only be sold in the bargain bin. Your IQ is so low, even a brick wall has more engaging conversations. It’s impressive how you manage to be both completely forgettable and incredibly annoying at the same time—like a mosquito bite that just won’t stop itching." -"It’s so awkward for me to roast people, and I really don’t think I can beat any of these but until I get used to it, here is my best: you look silly." -“I’ll take the entire flash sheet please” -"Cletus, you missed out 'spit' on your sign" -"Bad enough you stole the kid's bike, did you have to steal his clothes too?" -Only 12 more catalytic converters and I can upgrade to a moped -How the fuck does this guy look 19 and 43 at the same time -The stache should pair well with the panel van -Minor attracted or minor possession can’t tell which? -You look like you were fed warm beer instead of breastmilk -You got out of jail just in time for your 20 year elementary school reunion. -Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles -When it’s your 20th time repeating 5th grade -You look like the kinda guy that would steal my lighter then spend half the day helping me look for it. -Your drug screen results come in an alphabetized binder. -You look low on that bike because you prefer it without the seat on. -comment -You look ai generated -Would’ve never guessed the Asian part thanks captain obvious -You stole your brothers haircut -Confucious say: Girl who cut her own hair has idiot for stylist. -Instead of roasting how about we use a wok? -I bet it sounds like a dogs chew toy when you orgasm -She plays video games in a hello kitty costume while eating noodles -I've seen realdolls with more life and joy in their faces than yours. -I swear these Asians and their fetish robots. What does this one do? -You look like a Japanese sex doll with a few miles on it -That's a handsome 13 year old boy -Michael Jackson wants his nose back -She dresses up as anime characters and eats raw fish -Do you do those makeup tutorial tiktoks where you change from a Lovecraftian space beetle to expensive sex doll using a gallon of skin whitener and scotch tape? -"Your face is so stereotyped that I can guess your nationality,job,food and mental disorders just looking at your eyes" -You look like a white person that had cosmetic surgery to look more asian -"Would roast, but I only roast real people. You posted a doll" -"You look like you texted me ""by mistake"" and want to involve me in crypto trading" -Why bother when they make perfectly good atomic bombs to do it? -I think I understand the devastatingly low birth rates in Asia now. -Her o/f name is AsianSweets -One of those new Japanese sex robots? You almost look human. -Your white man is in another reddit thread -"It's hard to tell you from the 450,000 others who went to the same South Korean plastic surgeon." -"I heard Asians are crazy rich. I hope that’s true, because it’s gonna be about two hundred dollars to Uber from one eye to the other." -Look like you crawled out of my tv -"Wait a minute, you’re Asian? I’m glad you told us." -You only date the White guys that White women rejected. -"She'll do literally anything for attention, including the laundry." -Your skin and eye surgery says North Asian but your lips say South Asian. Sooner or later you will have to pick a side or it’s straight to jail. -You look like a frog with a human nose -Blink twice if you can show human emotions -I’d say your looks are general tso tso -"Hell nah this ain’t Ada Wong, that’s Ada Wrong💀" -Asian? Are you sure? -Temu Waifu -No thanks our forefathers roasted enough of yall in 1945 -I remember when the ladyboy industry was more convincing. -You look like one of those realistic sex dolls from the reject pile. -Anyone want to split this roast? -i cant tell of your asian or if your face is just swolen -the age of dumb asian is upon us... brace for impact! -You look like herpes has you -"You look like you sleep in your bed like a inverted fraction with yo feet on the pillow , u prop your pillow up against the wall so you don’t wake up with a crook neck" -Sex with you would sound like cracking Wooden chopsticks -you look like an actress from those extravagant porn videos -"Thank god you wrote F, pretty hard to tell without the information." -I’d do it boys. I’d do it. -Where’s your 60 year old American husband? -"Thank God you wrote ASIAN on the title, OP. We would never have come to this conclusion. - -Ffs, talk about stating the obvious." -Could be AI. Could be lady boy. Could be both -I would roast you but I have a dog in the oven -If stevie wonder drew hentai.... -"Get some more plastic surgery done, you condom head. Michael Jackson ass nose looking, wide eyed surgery, greasy haired noodle bar waitress." -Me never love you any time -"Another failed onlywhores ""model"" comes here after no one signs up." -That's the face of a woman who's been passed around a military barracks on a Tuesday night. Not good enough for Friday night though. -What’s your handle on your onlychins account? “YellowBugEye” -Is that the national haircut? -"Nothing screams ""Empty vessel"" more than this." -Your nose bridge is so big people use it to commute. -Photoshop -Somebody used a jungle machete to cut this poor little Filipino boy's bangs -Yes ur Asian but what kind. . . Cool asian or school asian -"I’m sorry to everyone if this is too much but here goes! - -I’m not sure if I should feel sorry for your parents or not, but they probably drowned three girls to finally get a boy that wants to be a girl." -I think you meant to type 8=D Asian -Girl look like she bout to do those anime cringe words and act like a maid while in front of some kids while in the most female moan 💀💀 -F20? You could put M20 and no one would even question you. You bring new meaning to the word ambiguous. -You look like you couldn’t decide which Asian country you hail from … so just … Asian -Is that a herp on your upper lip or your tooth playing peekaboo -Looks more fake than stuff made in China -Somehow has bulging asian eyes. -Even the Asian fetishists don't want you. -You all really do look alike. I just saw your brother Chen at the corner store. -"Met you in Thailand about six years ago,, you were 20 then and the only English you knew, “all three hole, jus thirty dollah”." -"You look like a 12 year old uwu anime boy  - -Also the photoshop looks like it  was done by a blind rat" -"Better let those who are thirsting in.... bruh, it's a 👨" -Costco hinata -"You: ""Me love you long time"" - -Everyone: ""No thanks""" -I've reported at least 20 of your profiles on facebook for AI generated spam. -How does it feel to be the face on a thousand weebs pillowcases? -Did you use your noodle bowl for those bangs? -Wow you’re unroastable. -YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF -Korean boys can be very androgenous !! -That's a Lady boy 🤣 -Did you cut your hair with a weedeater? -What kind of bowl do you own -Someone remember to link this post next week when shes here again because she started selling feet pics -"This isn't 1945 anymore, so we don't roast Asians." -"Girl so insecure won’t upload a picture without makeup, photoshop and all that." -バカにする -"If I googled ""generic Asian AI generated face"" it would still have more defining features then you do..." -So generic the best possible roast is a downvote -U MAKE EGG ROLL -Your body is as boyish as your hair. -Lucy Eww -Downie -Get out of the left lane you stupid Asian bitch 🎶🎵I don’t even know why are there🎶🎵🎵 -You are the definition of “plain”. -Did your dad cut your fringe whilst he was railing you? -The lovechild of Lucy Liu and earthworm Jim.. -20 I feel dirty just looking at your post. -You look like you're a background character in your own story -You look like you give people chlamydia when you peepee in their coke. -Looks like you chose the default Asian skin in Fallout 4 -Abe chutiye tujhe aski chakka bane ko nahi bola tha -Your hair looks like when a 3 year old finds the scissors and cuts their own hair -Femboy with face filters -I used to have yellow fever. I'm absolutely sure I'm cured. -"Me no luv you long time, your face is no fine" -You look like the daughter your dad didn’t want -Putting the “oh no” in yoko ono -You’re banned from every DMV in the country. -You look like the girl that dies in squid game playing marbles. -"I'm a shanghai girl in a dystopian wooorld -Made of plastic, it's so fantastic" -"Waifu uses the spare semen for skincare, adds a nice shine after you’re done being used" -"I don't think you understand the format of this sub. You're supposed to post pictures of you, not billions of other people." -I hope they tossed that bowl into the bin after that haircut -Your nipples weren’t installed correctly. L -> R. R -> L. -Mom i want Asian girl. We got Asian girl in Home. asian girl in home: -You look like the Pinterest jelly art style. -You should be good at math but you are not. -20 and got sandbags under those eyes like you're 40. -More issues than Time magazine -I opened a fortune cookie and it’s a note from your mother saying stop seeking attention here -Ladyboy says what -"You have exophthalmos, or bulging eyes. It's most likely due to the thyroid condition you got from all radiation after Fukushima" -Herro there! -"How much did the surgery cost you? -- no no not your tits -- No No not your lips -- NO NO not your nose - -YES, yes your eyes that one how much did it cost you?" -You look like your parents were okay with you getting B's in school. -u/bot-sleuth-bot -When you order your sex doll from Wish! -JAV actress. -"Mongols are asian, you're a mongoloid, it doesn't make you asian." -this one does not spark joy -Your bio is “Asian”? phew! Now that we have some material to work with… -You’ve got that typical Asian plastic surgery look -Did your hairdresser use a chainsaw to cut your bangs? -I am now convinced that all Salmon are Asian. -There's a reason why there only is 1 picture -"Bro, that's a dude." -You like the mr. Burns alien from that the simpsons -Big eyed in wrong made -You should cosplay not a whore sometime. -What does a happy ending massage go for? -You're the free trial at the massage house -Asian and F2P fixed that for you 😌 -"To echo many of your previous comment boards, wow, such empty." -You’ve got BBDE: Big Blowup Doll Energy -"Asian **and** female? - -These used to be *challenging*." -When you look like this and feel you have to point out you're Asian.... no further roasting needed. -Stfu sushi machine -Temu sex doll. -"For fuck sake I don't care if you did ""accidently"" text me I'm not going to ""do the needful and kindly buy some bitcoin""" -before you steal your man’s hoodie you leave the torso inside -"oh, her eyes are opened! 😳" -That shirt does the roasting for us. -you remind me of my first girlfriend. Asian Fuck Doll -I can tell that you already disappointed your father -When the latex sex doll goes on clearance. -"Fuck you,you are pretty" -I bet you have a sideways vagina that says made in Taiwan. -You’re bangs looks like a barcode for egg rolls -You look Oriental af -Reports coming in that North Korean Soldiers who were on the Russian front line have now gone back to censored Internet in Pyongyang after discovering 'disgusting and very disturbing porn'. Turns out it was just OP naked -"“Asian” = Mom is Japanese, dad is a huge question mark…" -"If you hadn't said F20 and maybe the haircut, you'd be a twink." -Dating game must be harsh when your twenty but look twelve -"She’s not a hooker, she’s a “massage therapist”" -This is actually Olive Oyl using an Asian filter  -Grow your hair longer. You look too Anime. -You look like can can’t stop crying and being emotional about mild misunderstandings. Also because no one will ever take you seriously. -"Oh look, another 'cosplayer' looking to market on this sub." -It looks like it was created by AI. Damn these Asians look really incredible -Sex dolls are posting on reddit now? So lifelike... -"You look like the kind of person who apologises to furniture when you bump into it. No, sweetie, *they* feel bad for *you*." -I won’t but could I f u -No amount of precise lipstick work is gonna make you look less like your lips aren't fucking gargantuan. -You're pretty great on that Expedia line dancing commercial -You were going for Blackpink but your mouth is going for blackdick. -You look like you call anyone who disagrees with you a lacist -"Well, I don't think anyone would have guessed you are asian." -What go go bar did you crawl out of -You’re a genetically modified horrific driver. Take Uber -This isn't a 90 day fiancé audition subreddit. -She looks like the Barbie theblittle white girl didn't like so she gave her a shit haircut -"Nice try, that's not how an F20 fighter jet look like, even if it's Asian." -If fake was a person: -first result when you search ladyboy on orange youtube -"You look like you got gum stuck in your hair and cut it out then attempted to try to ""fix"" it with toddler scissors." -she is looking like a baby girl and she said Mom is ready not her Mom -Is this sex doll the one sold on Temu ? -"I bet you have a tail in there, woof woof" -Beautiful -Stop letting your mom use a bowl and get a real haircut -Nice Lego helmet -You are the reason Asia should have a zero child policy -👁️👄👁️ -Your lips look like undercooked sausages -"Are your children going to work in a sweat shop too - -So yellow I scrolled down and thought the sun was rising" -I didn’t think Kim jong un had the helmet on his list of haircuts that are allowed. -You look like a preset in a custom character menu. -I've seen this guy before -D-sian -Glad you put Asian in the bio to clear up any confusion -It's funny because this is one of those posts where we needed the gender confirmation. -Nose and kneecaps stick out further than the titties. -"Wow, I didn’t know asian sex dolls had advanced enough to post on reddit" -You look like a Weeb's ideal sexbot. -"Haven’t I seen you some where? Oh Asian porn, that’s it" -"Let me guess, you sound like a guinea pig when... Y'all know." -sailor moon live -Why do yall look the same like this is the typical scamming profile picture that friend requests white men about crypto -"In an ironic twist of events, she actually has a sweaty middle aged man fetish" -Little boy get off Reddit and go do your homework -"Well, there is goes my Asian girl kink... Thanks. - -Supposing you are actually Female of course. Or an actual human, with those dead eyes l cant really tell if you are a badly manufactured rejected sex doll." -All the other lady boys must be jealous -I swear I’ve seen 20 different women that look like you -Moe from the Three Stooges remains a Chinese hair icon almost a century later -Can you still get a refund? -Rough night at the poultry factory! -"You’re like the anime character who says, “I’m different” while hoarding enough plushies to rival a toy store and wearing a Blue Archive shirt that’s seen more ramen stains than human interaction. If collecting merch were a superpower, you’d be saving the world—one limited-edition keychain at a time." -it’s like copy paste -You have Lego hair -"Possibly illegal due to your age, or you could be 50" -Definitely a menhera... -Temu Chaewon -Roast duck or pork? -Which way are you transitioning?? -Was M19 -Anyone smell rotten sushi? -"You mean ""loasht me""" -Hi robot -I hate commenting on these but the account is 8days old and an obvious AI generated image. Look at the paper they’re holding. The folds and tears are a giveaway. Remind me in one week if this post hasn’t been banned by then. -Standing next to a single lit candle would be enough to roast them. -I don’t need to roast u god already roasted u -You must be virgin I pay extra -I’d be more surprised if you had a vagina  -Nope not falling for it again there femboy -Future Happy Ending Massage Therapist 😂 -"Oh I’ve seen this one, isn’t it where you remove the makeup and theres a balding little asian man with no teeth and a history of suspicious activity around children?" -Ahh if it isn't the girl from IPPA-001544 -"Suddenly, NAMBLA pukes everywhere, so certain of their convictions, aren’t so sure anymore." -Asian? Couldn’t tell -How small are your eyes without makeup? -RealDull -If kung pao chicken was human... -Why would anyone want to roast a discounted sex doll? -Lucky for u u're not bald otherwise that big ass forehead would have blinded us. -Sum ting Wong -"You look like you work at a donkey show, fluffing the donkey before finishing him off." -You can put a whole watermelon between your eyes -She's eating the dogs. She's eating the cats. She's eating.....the PETS! -Cute. -"You look like a silicone sex doll, just with even less personality tho" -Asian Shadowheart. -"You look like someone copied and pasted your face over itself, but didn't line it up quite right." -Lets call you gacha addict 2000320 -Is this Odd lot clearance for the untrafficked? -I hope you don't have a penis. -You have the look of a sex doll which has been “lovingly” passed down to it’s 4th owner… -This doll doesn't even look realistic you need a refund -Lookin like a *Finding Nemo* character. -Inside -You love me long time 🥹 -https://youtu.be/SjYtKijcYkI?si=P7QBQhKFSy1agbrV -‘Female’ -Give it for up for ju-yon -Aren't you on my son's 5th grade basketball team? -"Put the scissors down. You’ve done enough damage. - -I’m guessing your pubes look about the same." -When you order a real Doll off Temu at a steep discount. -Is ur pussy really sideways? -You look like the first Asian ever thats having a anaphylactic shock from a seafood allergy 🐡 -Elon could at least make the robots a little more attractive -Uhm. If I'm to roast you i need more roastable material. You're too pretty like this -"Beautiful compassionate eyes, burn" -"You are wide-eyed, but not in the good way" -You look easy to draw. -"You're too young to post on this sub. - -Or maybe too old, I can't tell." -Didn’t you just message me on telegram asking how I was and if I remember you and if I want to go on vacation with you? -Me roast you long time -"ID…..then smash, oh roast….um…..smash then bukaki? I’m not good at this" -Alright Felipe we know it’s you -no. you're adorable -Your face looks like you are wearing a mask of a little Japanese girl. -Where do the Redditors sign up for the pig-butchering scam? -The weeb dinner bell has gone off. -It's rare to find something fairly human that's allergic to body weight. -"I’d pay you $5 to not sucky sucky. Hell, I’d give you anything you want to not sucky sucky." -You have a weird ass nose! -I think you're adorable 😊 -"Why do you want people to roast in purpose?Girl,internet is a dangerous place for this you know... don't try this risky moves 😳" -Who we kidding? We all know you are gonna be starting an OF after an unsuccessful streaming career. -Post your before plastic surgery photos here if you dare -"# You look like a Dude, Playing A Dude, Disguised As Another Dude" -Is that what you say to all your clients? -Nothing we say can be more damaging than the fact you’re a blue archive fan -I’ve got the same doll.. -What's your Genshin Impact UID so I can join your world and delete your roast from Irminsul? -Authentic Geisha -Might be looking for roast but your inbox probably screams baked. -Let’s fuck. -Is there anything you don’t do? -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->24M, Metalhead and UK uni masters student - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Final boss at hot topic -Is it aids or cancer? -"For fucks sake Todd, stay out of your mother's make up." -Uncle Fester: The Angsty Rebellious Teen Years -You’re such a Death fan that you’re cosplaying as someone with leprosy -The Hills Have Eyeliner -What the fuck happened to Billy Corgan? -It looks like meth quit **you** but death didnt want you either. -"""I'm the cancer victim, twisted cancer victim""" -"“Do your worst” - -What the hell could u do that the universe hasn’t already done to you?" -Terminally ill Voldemort -"I’m at a loss, do I shoot you in the head or stab you through the heart? 🤔" -Can’t roast you any worse than the voices in your head do on a daily basis -"Jesus dude, you look like you and your holocaust buddy's tried to start a metal band." -Graduation day in the psych ward always brings a tear to my eye -I can’t top wtf you did to yourself….. -You simultaneously look like a victim and perpetrator of the gas chambers. -Powder on powder -You put the emo in chemo -Your mom wants you gone. For real. Go -Grim Reaper without its cloak and sickle -I’d probably step over you if you laid down on the train -Go home and tell your mom to be a parent and not a friend. -Poster child for forced sterilization. -The oldest 24 year old on the market. -Uncle Fester’s mid-life crisis. -I had a hard time seeing you next to the wall if it wasn’t for the eyeliner and black clothes. -Someone locked you in a Hot Topic closet back in ‘94 and archaeologists just disinterred your remains -"You're not an actual person. - -You've covered yourself in ink and a ridiculous costume to try to be ""part of something"" - -You're essentially a mannequin. There are millions of you, and none of you are real." -Have you made your pilgrimage to Florida yet. -You look like the cockroach that escaped Nagasaki. -Every nu metal fan in 2000 -You resemble an unwrapped mummy -"Looks like the guy who was abducted by redneck justice warriors, imprisoned in an underground bunker, tortured until his soul left his body, given a shameful nickname and lines to speak, then digged up for a laugh from surface world every now and then, to remind people that they don't know anything." -You look like a you could easily play the role as a heroin junkie in the movie “Trainspotting”. -"Christ if this is young Fester, I’d hate to see young Gomes. I mean you literally look like the type of person who would take “you look like a corpse” as a compliment. Also if I were a metal band member I’d want you to list your favorite bands so I could be sure you weren’t one of my fans." -"No! Just No! - - -Mentally challenged people should not be made fun of." -You look like a vampire that's afraid of soap not crosses - Smellferatu -"""Would you fuck me, I'd fuck me,I'd fuck me hard""" -I bet you rock out with your clam out! -Can't tell if you're a 70 year old rocker or a 20 year old junkie -Such a metal badass… does your mom know you stole her mascara? -“Mom it’s just a phase” -24 in dog years. -Brave of you to post a picture of your first time doing makeup -…you already did. -Panda Eyes 👁️👁️ -If you have to jack off at the cemetery please do it at night when no one’s around -Cosplaying iZombie 4 yrs after the series ended. -"Dude look like he's at war with AIDS, cancer and heroin and they're whooping his ass." -"When your parents fucked, they didn’t have this in mind." -Crack is a hell of a drug -Sid from Toy Story aged about as well as we thought he would. -It’s wish Chester from Linkin Park -Bro looks like he escaped the gulag -Dobby -i dont even need to say anything here... -I love that band -"Based on the necklace and hairstyle, I assume you don't like certain types of people." -If Gollum was a meth addicted UK twat. -Looks like Sid from Toy Story fucked a kewpie doll. -The soad reject lol :) -Uncle fester on meth! -Meth head uncle fester -Cut my life in to peace -White version for UNICEF. Oh $20 says he can suck his own dick. -"Do our worst? You’ve already done the worst, by existing!" -You like like an American Idiot -The shirt tells your very near future. -I would but God already did apparently -NSFW this please -"A picture is worth a 1,000 words." -bro realy fell in love with an emo girl -If Kaiu was upset about his condition. -Retired Slipknot groupie with terminal case of anal warts -"You look like an addict. I don’t know to what but first thing that came to mind is addict. Sorry if this hurts you. Also, do you listen to black metal or inspired by goths maybe ?" -"Dude, aren't you the lead singer of Prodigy? I thought you were dead!" -"You look like you have several drug/substance addictions all at once. -Mf you got the how did we get here speedrun glitchless any% WR" -"Looks like cancer already did, my regards" -Jesus Christ you’re 24!? -Those teenage years really hit Caillou hard as hell -A young uncle Fester -I wondered whatever happened to Powder -How's the chemo going? -Uncle Fester after 6 months on Ozempic and meeting a biker chick at a bar who flipped his style. #theAddamsFamily -"Sorry, god already did." -Teen version of Eli Damaskinos (Blade) -"Man, I thought leprosy died out in the 1800's" -Your aids has cancer -Holy shit 70yo teenager with cancer jumpscare! -"You misspelled ""Methhead"" in your bio" -You look like the nazi/emo version of Chester Bennington -Too easy. Can’t be bothered. -Do our worst? You've already done it. -Skeletor but ordered from Wish -Cousin fester -You look like the face of meth -You look like a young uncle fester......... -If every bad decision ever had a face. -Lurch went to weight watchers -Your gender identity can only be conveyed through slam poetry. -"At first i was like ""cancer"". Then I saw the nail polish and eyeliner. Automatically puts the ho in homo." -You look like uncle fester fucked a bag of crack -didn't I frag you in doom in the 90's? -"You are super ordinary, like everyone else." -Mediocre. -WITNESS ME!!! -Caillou FINALLY grew up. -“ITS NOT JUST A PHASE MOM!” -Are you still sad that Frodo threw away your precious? -you misspelled sub -british hitler -When did Victor Zsasz get out of Arkham? -Your parents already did their worst look at you -"U ain't emo, ur a panda" -I don’t think it can get worse than the disappointment your parents have of you -Cool Chester Benningtons corpse cosplay -Anorexic uncle fester -One of them crazy Metallica fans that get caught doing drugs at a show -Did uncle Fester and Green day have a kid? -Anorexic Uncle Fester! -"Man you didn't do meth, meth did you" -Go back to sandy shores -What the fuck. -Crack Head Uncle Fester -All I see is three dirty glory holes -Voldemort in college -Get help man -Hardest rocker in the concentration camp -"Look, you NEVER use the binoculars when someone hands them to you while giggling. Just don’t do it." -Always wonder what a white dick look like -Bro looks like me after a night of gaming and there is 5 exams tomorrow which I haven't studied for ( they are worth 50% grade) -“Do your worst” is what your mom said to your dad when they conceived you -"It really wasn't a phase, huh?" -"Unfortunately I can't,your shirt is solid. Wear a crappy band shirt next time" -The Hills have Aids -Looks like uncle fester got into the meth stash -You look like a raccoon after a decade of meth and chemo -This guy removed a rib or two to… you know … -Nice that Bam Margera is finally getting his make a wish -Uncle fagster -Hands OP a mirror. -"True what they say about child stars, it was all downhill after “powder”" -You've tried more drugs the you should of -Uncle fester finally had that diet and did p90x -Where is this war boys human blood bag? -Uncle fester on dope -You already did -"Damn, nothing to roast here guys. Move along." -I actually like the shirt. -Why you look like you put things in your foreskin just to make you cum -"I don’t know what all the emo/metal boxes are but you checked them all. Also, if can’t read the name of the band on the concert tee that suck." -Doesn’t even know how to put eyeliner on -you’re the person i have nightmares about -Looks like your dad and uncle already roasted you -You obviously used your Make A Wish to go see Godhead in concert. -Ya already burnt to a crisp nothing left of yourself to Roast -Megadeath make-a-wish -Too easy -Heckraiser. Poser ass bitch. -You're trying too hard -"It looks like you already took it as far as the grave, not sure we can do much for you Skeletor have you tried reaching out to He-man and seeing if he’ll roast you?" -Your parents couldn't have been more supportive. -I think that shirt could be changed to say “DEAD FOR 6 DAYS” at this point. Decomp is pretty advanced. -This is the only time I'd look at someone and hope they had cancer. At least then I could sleep knowing you don't look like that on purpose. -There is literally nothing I can saw that would be worse than your genetics and personal life choices. -You look like an adult version of Caillou that's addicted to meth -"Holy freakin shit, you look like uncle fester’s son" -"if they ever make a movie where Nosferstu gets cancer, you'd be a very fitting person to play the part" -Uncle fester lost some weight. Good for you buddy! -I got nothing after seeing that face -It’s like a grub worm became a human -"Aw, what a cute snuggle bunny." -The bad guy from Dune got skinny! -Some folks are just unroastable.. -Is this a trick? -I’m sorry the chemo isn’t working. How long do we have? -This guy gets as much zombie pussy or butt as he wants. This guy literally eats ass all day. Are your parents uncle fester and a bowl of yogurt? -Look like you are in a Alice cooper cover band -The war boy extras from the new mad max movie look more emo than tough -It looks like life already did it's worst. -Look like that little dude in Lord of the rings that's always bitching out not eating meat raw. -This level of giving up looks like it takes a Herculean effort. -"How could I bear to roast you, a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy." -"So, what was John Cena like?" -I honestly don't even know where to start. -no need to say anything. Picture says it all -You are what cancer cells call “high carb fast food”. -If I insult you are you gonna smack my bitch up? -It's like hellraiser and Beetlejuice put together with a touch of aids. -It's amazing you came out of your grave to make this post -When they come to you already roasted and you’re unsure how to proceed… -Poser -Clearly your parents already roasted the shit outta ya -Stop eating the paint chips. -"Fucking hell, you look like you’re about to sacrifice a goat, 2 chickens, a rat and a squirrel in the name of satan for all of us who have roasted to be condemned to go to hell in a horrible way." -Talk about dressing the part -"Please keep this to ourselves, I wouldn’t want to lose my teaching position.”" -How am I supposed to roast someone who already looks like they cried to death? -The coffin must have been pretty weak. -Looks like you’ve already beat us to it. -Was GG Allin your biggest hero? -Lmao! I don't even know where to start. Death from Bill and Ted was my first impression. -"You already wrecked yourself, theres nothing for us to do..." -Bleach already did. -I think you’ve already done the worst to yourself -You’re trying ***WAY*** too hard. -Uncle Festers illegitimate child. -This edgelord listens to Taylor Swift when no one is looking. -What are you like really into Star Trek or something? -comment -"Looking forward to the ""35, Virgin, Unemployed"" post" -Have you tried dating blind women? -5’8 around your stomach? -Bro is a middle aged teenager -You look like a taxi driver in GTA -How the hell are you a virgin when you're 5 ½ months pregnant? -"The virgin disclosure wasn't necessary, we can all tell." -Not even an arranged marriage would break your spell -Are you part of some kind of cult that forbids facial expressions? -When's the baby due? -"I don’t know where I can buy a pair of shoes for less than $2.00 US, but you seem like the person to ask." -Your face looks like the first pancake. The first pancake always looks like shit. -Virgin Mary stomach maybe. -The shirtless picture wasn’t necessary. -you didn't have to tell us all that. we know <3 -Weren’t you just here last week? -You're built like a bowling pin. -You look like your own abusive uncle -"So you're short, have no game with the ladies, have zero self control around the naan, have a job but not a good enough one to share an industry or job title and have enough confidence to post this, but not enough to smile. Showing you lack both the light in your eyes or any semblance of kindness that may exist in that cold heart. - -You're the human embodiment of waiting until the night before to submit a project. You've never given 100% to anything, hell probably not even 50%. The only redeeming quality is you have decent posture which means you probably do physical labor. Because you aren't smart enough to be paid for your wit. Perhaps that's a good thing currently. Don't have to sit at a desk you think. - -But when your 40s hit, the only thing rolling around more than the cartilage in your knees will be the thoughts bouncing around your skull: why did I post this?" -"Indian, 25, Virgin, employed, 5'8, buys his bra's from the same shop as his mum" -Nice Chocolate Biscuit Nipples -Between being a virgin and that look on your face- you just ended up on the FBI's watchlist. -My lips made the “eww” frown by the 3rd picture. -If this man is a virgin what hope is there for the rest of us. -"You sure you're not 45? - -Also, dude, go hire a hooker. It will be the best 10 seconds of your life!" -The worst fluffer in BollyPorn -You look like the kinda guy to leave comments on Porn videos. -"Hindu? - -More like Hindon't" -Damm foreigners taking all your jobs -i dont get why people do this is it for karma? -Even if you can´t see it. I know he is wearing the sandals with the one big yellow toenail. -I was sad when they wrote you out of the Simpsons. -"5 years later. Indian 30, Virgin, Unemployed, 5'8." -Pizza face and pepperoni nipples MAMA MIA! -How far are you into your pregnancy? -"The only surprising thing here is ""employed""" -And ppl say you can't smell a photo. -We could tell you’re a virgin by the way you held that phone in the bathroom pic. 🥲 -"Bro come on, make it a challenge at least" -Bro’s nipples are bigger than his eyes -Bruh! Seeing you makes me depressed. -You look like a buddhu -If I give you an iTunes gift card number will you stop posting ? Is this a new scam ? -Taj-maHole -Bro quit calling me I don’t need to renew any of my subscriptions -This roast is funner than most -You look like you're Naan Binary. -I know you’re employed. You just credited my Amazon account with a 10 dollar voucher. -Dude is too cheap to hire a hooker. Saving himself for marriage that will never be. -You could do a good job as a spare dildo for a 65 year old. But you might end up soaking all the lube -Are you employed at the nearest call center or super market? -"Mr Patel, my computer still has a virus and you already charge my bank account for the repair please return my phone call, I also went to 711 and got the gift cards you told me I needed to buy." -"Built the dad bod without having potential to be a dad, dedicated." -Arranged marriage. But that’s a lot of goats your family is going to owe your poor wife’s dad. -"Why do Indians feel the need to preface that they're Indian? We know bro, we can see you in the pictures you uploaded. Is this a joke I'm not in on?" -Please stop calling me I know you aren't from microsoft. -"Hello this Microsoft support, we need credit card details to help" -Durka durka 💀 -Ur acne scars looks like the Little Ceasar’s pizza I had tonight. -"See kids, an example case of what happens when one drinks cheap beer." -"You look like you’re 5’8”, Indian, a virgin, and unemployed" -Let's all have a moment of silence now for the poor woman that he finally loses it to eventually... -Mugshot facial expression -5'8 sideways? -how did you get pregnant ? -This is the 407th time you’ve posted this -"You can't be a virgin, you're pregnant." -Did you really need to add “virgin”… like yeah we got it -"You didn't have to mention you're a 'Virgin', We all Knew☠️" -" -Im not gonna kick a dude allready down on his knees. Dude was allready roasted by his own T-shirt!" -"The answer to the popular song: 5’8”, Indian, IT" -You didn’t have to write virgin bud. We got it. -"oh... 5'8.... I read that as 58. -I was thinking you didn't look a day of 57." -You resemble a bottle of coke -Hiring a call girl will solve one of your problems. -Pretending to work for Microsoft doesn't count as employment -"You mean 2'5, virgin, unemployed, 58 years old, right?" -Twins or triplets? -"When they faked the moon landing, they took black and white photos of your face." -You didn’t need to tell us you’re a virgin. -Nice tit's -Virgin? Then you must have been impregnated immaculately. You can be the Virgin Hairy. -It's ok to be a virgin at 25. But Indian? That's crossing the line fam. -Your face looks like the surface of mars -I’ll give you the Amazon gift card numbers if you put your shirt back on. -My boy had to specify employee -life has roasted you enough brother. -"The info ""Virgin"" is very obvious" -"No, im not interested in changing my cell service. -And you didn't need to say virgin." -No thanks! Don’t want my info hacked!! -Are you a 7/11 night shift or day? -Nice tits -You look like a plate of overcooked spaghetti that Gordon Ramsey himself spat on. -How are you both skinny and fat all at the same time? -For an employed guy in India you seem to have a lot of time for posting on this sub every week 😒 -"You look like a virgin, that’s the unfortunate part" -You didn’t need to include virgin.. -From the looks of the photos it seems he’s already read everyone’s comments -Indians would consider you Shudra even if you were to born into the Brahmin Family. -"Even though you asked for people to roast you, I still feel bad reading these comments... Pls be kind to yourself, you're not ugly" -I already roasted you when you called me this morning trying to sell me an extended warranty. -"You prayed to Lord Vishnu to preserve your youth and happiness, but instead, he preserved your awkwardness and virginity." -You only need one pic -I believe you’re a virgin who has experienced immaculate conception. -"You left out pregnant. What are you due? - -I guess that means you're had an immaculate conception." -Indian men asking for roast is a whole new level of confidence 😂 -You wrote virgins 3 times in the title -You look like the incel version of Mark ‘chopper’ Read -Everything you said in your description is redundant. -Didn't you already post like a short while ago? Do you have a humiliation fetish or something? -How many bodies does he have stored up for when he doesn’t want to be a virgin anymore -Your stomach looks like it holds several IEDs for the border war against China. -It’s easy to see why you’re a virgin! 😊 -"This post in 10 years: - -35,virgin,unemployed,5'8"" wide" -Bro's face's got more craters than the moon -Buddy looks like he is 36 months pregnant -You are the person daya slaps for confession before ending CID episode -Stop calling me about the extended warranty that I don't have! -"You? Virgin? -Nooooooo." -25? Nah that's the face of a 42 year old man who doesn't hate everything yet he just dislikes it all -Yeah that checks out. A quick glance at the crystal ball and you are gonna be a virgin foe many many more years -More craters than the dark side of the moon -"You just look like you scam people, dude. Terrible." -"Aisa lag raha hai kisi ney gand mar key chor diya ho, aur paisey bhi nahi diye ho." -You have bigger tits than most of the women in your country. -don't forget cross dresser 🫵🫵🫵🫵😁😁😁😁 -Are you a scammer -"Next step:Indian,35,Virgin,Unemployed,5’8" -So are you Kwik-E Mart Indian or Telephone Customer Service Indian -God damn India owes us all for this one. -Your arranged marriage already ended in divorce. -Bet that’s your dads baby you are carrying -"Bro you have a billion people around you and can't find just one to sleep with you?! -Also, why call centers aren't hiring?" -Too easy! -When your butch girlfriend says she will cary the Baby -I can smell you through my screen -You just roasted yourself with that title -"God - -really said 0000000000000.1%cute and 100000000000000% 40 year old truck driver" -You must have been a horrible person in a previous life. -How can you be fat in an environment that has the humidity to grow palm trees. -I'm surprised you don't work for Amazon -Took you for a 48 year old -Dilit -Employed? when did those scamming companies start taking branch arms for employees? -what in the artificial freckles world is this bullshit? -Is it your normal face ? Or you are smiling on the photos ? -"Virgin and pregnant, ready to breastfeed: you beat even the Immaculate Conception." -Your face looks like it was used as a backdrop to fake the moon landing. -"No roasting needed, because your face already is." -Bruhhhh -"I was going to say if you had more than just that one facial expression, you could find a mate and lose your virginity, but then I looked closer and realized that you couldn't lose your virginity in a strip club with 100k in singles." -"hmm, are you indian call centre scammer?" -Your face looks like you've been on the toilet for an hour trying to push out a food baby that just won't go and your belly confirms it. -My condolences -"Bro, less carbs for you." -3rd trimester? -"Take note, this is what managing several gas station convenience stores will do to a boy." -"DO NOT REDEEM, DO NOT REDEEM!!" -Is your last name Kwashiorkor? -How are you a virgin if you’re lactating ? -Every young girls dream man -You’ve posted here multiple times and people still find new things to say. Incredible. -Bro is not even trying cuz he's employed. Lol -With that kind of hole in the middle understandable. But try women. -scam calling the elderly and conning them out of their life savings does not count as employed -Imagine this creep’s browser history. -If you roast yourself before we can it takes all the fun out of it. -You could have said 45 instead of 25 and I still would have believed. -"You look like the Indian uncle who gets drunk and tries to touch you on the dance floor in parties. Everyone knows his wife and kids hate him," -"It appears that testosterone ravaged your face, then gave up on the rest of you." -My phone smells from looking at you -"Jesus man, you look like a divorced 48 year old father of 3 and a ebola survivior.Walking around and sharing your story as a inspiration about survival. -**"" It took my looks, but my heart goes on""** and shit." -"Bro, my eyes. DON'T EVER take a picture without t-shirt again please !" -Employed? Working at a call center tricking Americans out of their SS numbers doesnt count.. -Technical support for Microsoft -"i was going to say that 5'8"" was the reason youre a virgin but then i saw your gut. wtf, sucked that shit in. -at least you have comfort in knowing that you can be one of the 72 virgins that some terrorists look forward to." -"Virgin, you don’t say. Real shocker there. It should be a law that you’re not allowed to remove your shirt. That shit is nightmare fuel." -Ok -Keep your shirt on and your lights off -Employed where? -You're a good person to have in the event of a flat. We can use the spare tire you carry around. -"So, you're the guy from Microsoft who keeps calling about malware on my computer?" -"Don’t worry man, I’m sure somewhere in the world there’s an ""After"" model for whatever ""Before"" picture you represent." -Got a face only a mother could love and even then only if she’s blind -Do I even need to roast? -Immaculate conception? -"Bhai ab bhi zyada der nhi hui h, delete krde😔" -Virgin with a dad bod is perplexing. -"I'm begging you, fix my computer, it has a virus" -your acne scars are screaming for help -"I’d be mad if I looked like that too, chief" -OP looks like someone who has a only fans page for nostril fetish where 2 folks get their spears polished and release their load -Bro stop calling me I won't fall for your scam! -You look like a virgin that can’t drive -Buddha looking a lil depressed these days -Wait didn’t you reversed the digit ? You look more like 52 than 25 -That mug has more craters than the Nevada test site -Didn’t really have to specify the virgin part -That ain’t no baby bump. That’s a cum belly. -Avg 40 year old 7/11 worker -25 ? Geeeez -"Dont worry, we already knew you were a virgin just looking at you. You didnt need to elaborate." -I didn't know you could have a scrawny paunch until I saw this picture -God has already bullied you enough by making you Indian. -I can tell -2nd pic instant gagged. F**SAKE bro. I could smell that. -I bet even a scam call center in India don’t want you apu -This is not the Mr Bean I want -Didn't you call me earlier today asking about my extended warranty? -When are you due? -We know -Last time I saw a face like that it had a hook in it. -More more I swipe the worse you get -Your age was the only mystery -Your face looks like a 3rd nipple -Lift some god damn weights and grow a damn beard bro -Failure in a nutshell -I can smell you thru my phone screen -25 going on 40 -You could swap the digits of your age and I'd still believe you're both 52 and a virgin. -5’8 on Grindr maybe. -"No, I'm not interested in an extended warranty." -You look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy rolled around in mud. -You probably scam people -I think you should stay inside -Bro looks like a wax statue left under the Indian Sun for too long. -i bet the palms behind are a scam just like your nature -Can I get a half eaten chesseburger? You basketball eating walrus -the look of this person is like the look of an ice cube -"I can help you lose your virginity if you’re interested -Check inbox xx" -"You know you will never get laid, when even gay people are not interested." -"40y old Virgin, just 15 years early - - -Seriously you need to invest on your health" -Another pregnant virgin! -You look like a fresh roti bro 😎 shame no one want to take you away… -"Untouchable even for untouchable, you can try r*ping your cousin this won't work with that belly and your authistics traits." -i cant even roast you because the nature has done it itself -"ofc you are still a virgin and I don't blame you. When you walk on the street, all the women are on the other side of the road." -Ahhhh 🫨…scared the shit out of me man. Have some kind of warning next time -Your smile tells me you’ve been drinking water straight from the Ganges. -Life of PIE lookin ahh -25 🤣 -Man... i would feel bad to roast you. Life is fucking with you enough. -"Do you get nightmares about ending up answering phones, being all like: ""Hello, my name is Deepak, how can I help you or be of service to you today?""" -Just too easy…. I can’t. I wish you well. -You seem like the kind of guy who has water stains on his car cushions. -The last face the girl who takes your virginity sees -"Workin the night shift at 7-11 really puts a dent in the love life hey? -Don’t worry bud, you’ll get some drunken straggler one of these nights" -"For some reason, you look more virgin than you look Indian. - -Change the way you introduce yourself maybe?" -Some jokes write themselves -"To improve yourself, start with going to the gym and seeing a dermatologist. Next, change your haircut and find a sense of fashion style. Also please smile, you look scary !" -"Try smiling, that should fix you right up" -Bro looks like he is calling from microsoft -Bros a virgin but still somehow got pregnant -Again?? Seriously bro seek therapy? -"You don't have to mention obvious things, you know? - -Like, ""virgin""" -"It’s ironic since you tell women “tank you, come again.”" -Employed as a virgin? -I hate being me. But more I’d hate being you. -Bro… I don’t have anything to add that life hasn’t already roasted you with. -M night shameonyou -"Aah.. one coffee no sugar, and make it rapid!" -"Not sure if this is a roast, but the pic of you shirtless made me very uncomfortable" -Ever tried growing a beard to cover up the fact that someone stamped out a fire on your face while wearing golf shoes? -If Shrek and George Lopez had a baby -"I don't say this often, but some people should really use filters." -Virgin? Your haircut and your clothes says it all -You are 1 lay away from being so damn confident with the opposite sex -imperialhal from wish. (only few amount of people would understand this) -Just another 7/11 attendant created. -Ya need a lot of work there buddy!!! -Stop scamming old people - I’ve seen the videos -Indian would have sufficed -Why you putting yourself through this man? -"Either your parents couldn’t afford a bride or they disowned you because you didn’t become a doctor, engineer, or something’s good" -Well of course you're employed... I just got off the phone with you about lowering my spectrum bill! Unsurprisingly you were completely useless. -"Hey now, keep your chin up. You're clearly not a virgin if life and genetics have already fucked you this hard 🫂." -"25?! Fuck man, you’ve got a rough life ahead of you." -"Mowgly ❌️ - -Mowatrocious ✔️" -At least you have one thing going for you being employed and all. -You're built like a teddy bear. You look squishy. -You look like an anthropomorphic pear! -Didn't have to tell us you're a virgin. -You work at a call center don't you.. no way anyone would let that face be customer facing -"Those scars from the girls you tried raping who thought, “fk this I’m burning myself instead”?" -"You have that look in your eye that says ""let's get it on""." -Working in a scam callcenter isn‘t what i would call „beeing employed“ -You could be in the movies!..we can use your face as the backdrop for moon landings. -Looking like a pregnant trans man. -Im only commenting to tell you that i find you so disgusting i have to remove this post from my feed. I’ve never done that before. -"Your mom says that you’re famous, because she saw your face on a Scammer Payback video." -His face has more craters than the lunar surface -You should keep a shirt on at all times. Even in the shower. -You must have been a very bad boy in your previous life -Would the brothel not accept payment in Amazon gift cards? -"The stank face clearly says virgin, no need to state the obvious." -"You didn’t have say virgin out loud, we can tell." -If Fugly had a body and a face you'd be it -Which 7-11 do you work at? -This guy tried to clean my car windshield during traffic today -Mr.Potato Head -I bet all your Uber reviews are half a star. -You look like the hour glass from Days of our Lives. -You look like a Veggietales character...perhaps based on a grumpy butternut squash. -Your torso has more expression than your face -Just look in the mirror. It will show you the best roast than anyone possibly could. -Good thing you can only go up from here -You didn’t have to say virgin. We could have easily guessed that from your photo -Your face is more mottled and textured than a dosa -"No I don't need my ducts cleaned, stop calling me" -Pretty normal Indian guy. -"""Unemployed""... Imagine being indian and not even being able to get a job in a call centre..." -Looks like a guy that would have a standoff at an apartment complex. Knife to his own babys throat or some s*** like that -Try working out and eating your own cum it worked for me -comment -My grandma would have said “she is a handsome woman” -When you do so much Thighmaster your vulva is two biceps -Now I know what Putin would look like cross dressing. -"Idk how, but your face is 50% nose and 60% forehead. - -On the bright side, when you give head, you're always giving 110%." -If only gym could fix your face -Nice package bro. -Your dog saw you naked now its blind in one eye. -"Take a child’s body, slap a man head on it, give it some tits and a cock, and this is what you get." -You look like an alien drew a woman after only hearing a description of one. -"Don’t pay any attention to the unkind comments these people are posting. - -Be proud of the fact that Aerosmith wrote a song about you." -"You look like you would yell, “IT’S SIR!” at the kid who works at GameStop." -Oh I love transition success stories -Love the cod piece. -You look like a human Sphinx cat -Went beyond camel toe right to camel foot. -Forget Camel Toe you have Camel Dick. -Disappointed no one called her Shelon Musk. -Is that a penis in your tights or are you just happy to see me? -Butch Crotchety and the skin tight pants. -You became the men you hated. -"No tits, short, and a butter face?" -Can’t hide that bulge -Why the long face ? -Your vagina is bigger than your tits -Kegels cross fit instructor -You are definitely going to murder the girl who leaves you for a normal life get to get married. - Nice job making a camel toe out of foreskin. 26 going on 56. You rough! -Veiny bro. -If I put a quarter in the slot will this old gypsy woman tell me my fortune? -So Handsome -Could do better on the tuck job -You look like Putin. -I’m a little wiener short and stout. Here is my tail here is my snout -"Camel Toe, Camel Face?" -Why is the dog hotter the you -Nice dick print -Brutal is the word I’m looking for. -You look like the ugly female version of GSP with smaller tits. -I can’t roast you because your dick is bigger than mine. The best I can do is tell you that my dick is pretty small anyway though -Ronda Lousey -Bro is packing 👀 -So you're the one they modelled the Easter Island heads on. -You're the type that confidently drops the N-word while you wait in line for your 4th plan B of the week. -Terrible tuck job -"You should consider hitting people with your ears instead of your fist, they’re stronger and bigger." -You have the longest head to body length ratio I've ever seen -First time I've seen a camel penis. -Just looks like a jacked Dobby to me -What the fuck -You look like an Oompaloompa -"So aside from cocks in your mouth, there’s one between your legs AND between your eyes??" -You look like a 45 year old single mother with 2 kids trying to go back out into the wild -Are cameltoes back in? Asking for a friend -A gymbro Greta Thunberg. -Camel toe or sausage lump? -How do you feel about the battle over whether you should play men’s or women’s sports? -Took so much gear she grew a dick -If always a bridesmaid never a bride had a face -Since when did Elon Musk transition? -"The Clitasaurus, thought to be extinct. Rare and unpredictable. A carnivore with an appetite for meat unparalleled to other species of similar size." -"You look kinda like that actor from the Bear. Since nothing else comes to mound…I mean mind, I’ll be going now" -The Bulgarian Curling team is calling you. -those shoes used to look like something i would wear in runescape -The female version of Putin still got bigger balls than I have. -Someone report this -Anyone noticed the girl in the background on the second image? She is looking a little bit angry to op 😁 -You've been banged more than a second hand drum. -Death by snu snu -This is a rough 26 -You sure you're 26. -"You switched the digits of your age, didn't you?" -"How much do you bench? No, not you, I was talking to your dick." -Grip gotta be like a python -Camel foot -Your dick has Abs -"Damn, 26 and already on your 2nd divorce, that's rough." -Damnnnn shawty nice cock how much it lift? -Damn this guy almost looks like a chick -This subreddit is a display of how limited insults upon looking at someone actually are. A true roast would require knowing about the person's character. The chosen insult is just adjacent to transphobia for a woman who really doesn't actually look that bad. -"I’m sorry little boy, I think you’re lost" -How's the Ukraine war going? -If “tuck-it”s ever needed an ad…. -Bitch has a pushed back hair line and a lumpy vagina -Horse knuckle of death right there -If not for the camel toe I would say you’re a dude. -"You look like a Russian henchman, in a bond film, but like not the hot one" -You going hard on showing that moose knuckle to draw attention from your face? -I’m jealous of your giant hog -"Every handjob you give begins with the phrase, “I must break you.”" -"""i took her to my house, cuz she was fine, but she wooped out a dick that was bigger than mine""" -I would say a thing or two but im afriad your father will nuke my home -Congratulations on your transition but you need some lessons in tucking -"Ask other transwomen how to tuck your cock away. - -Are you saving up for bottom surgery?" -"The body of a fit hung 26 year old, the face of a weathered Russian 86 year old." -I came here for the comments -Idk if I can roast you. You're a very handsome young man. -How can you be a man and a lesbian at the same time? -Somebody keeps skipping face day. -Steroids are bad for women -"Leaving aside ""26"" (yeah, and the rest) and the suspicious bulge, you are 100% a Vikki." -Too bad your cock isn't as hard as your body -Sex with you is probably like an episode of American Gladiator -You can hide it better if you tuck it in the back -You have 2% body fat and it’s all in your labia -Better secure that cameltoe before it strolls away -She either snatches 300lbs or her snatch can lift 300lbs -Your hair color doesn’t match your skin tone -Was Putin angry when you transitioned? -Dude put your boner away! -macklemore -We don’t need 9 pics to tell you you’re ugly and have no sense of style. -I’m afraid to cause he might manhandle me -Cat is hella phaattt -You leave a landing strip in the front and your right labia is bigger than your left. I read lips. -Nice camel-foot! -Built like a spark plug -It’s bigger than mine and I’m a guy -I see you tape your candy. -It’s looking at me.. -it appears that you've consumed an Alanis Morrisette CD and never recovered. -"Mighty moose knuckle, my bro!" -"At least I know if I ever need to make an emergency landing, I’ve got your forehead as an option" -Quite the fupa -How much did they pay you to use your likeness for Doby in the Harry Potter series? -It’s funny how in the last picture you are doing the light skin face/smile 😂😂 -Must be a Canadian with that huge Mooseknuckle. I’m still staring at it. 🤷🏿💯 -"FYI, your weiner is showing in the first pic..." -Your camel toe is the size of an actual camel's toe -Your body looks like it's covered in skinny penis everywhere except for your face which reminds me of Vladimir Putin. -"nice jawline, Quagmire" -Your head looks like a a goddamn thumb/ Squidward’s Tiki House wearing drag. -Instead of a cameltoe you have camel face. -Even your Widow's Peak doesn't want to be on your face anymore. -Really enthusiastic but somehow terrible head -comment -You have the head-to-body ratio of a Wii bowler. -More head than a porn set. -"I love your song, lesbian seagull." -You look like you'd be reluctant to wade into a kiddie pool. -"This image gives me nostalgia, for all my childhood games... After unlocking ""big head mode""" -Dude looks like a larvae -You look like an upside-down bowling pin. -I like how you and the kitchen have the same energy. -You look like your mom wished she had a c section -dude has to step into his shirts -Your head looks 36. Body looks about 13 -Dude. Eat at sandwich or something -You look like you're very easy to forget about. -i can tell you and your kitchen smell like mothballs and semen just by looking at this. -You look like an olive on a toothpick that fell onto the floor of a barber shop -The man’s cranium is a virtual planetoid. -Your Native American name is Struggles with Hats -Pay $30 now to unlock lower body (DLC) -This is the genetic version of making something out of leftovers -"If they decide to make a sequel to the movie Mask, you can get tips from Eric Stoltz..." -funko needs their model back -if swing and a miss was a person -Jesus's half brother Josus...can turn water into meth -You give me depression just looking at you. -Tim Minchin if he grew up as just a plain old no talent bloke. -Looks like Napoleon Dynamites kitchen -You look like somebody messed up their mii. -You should shove a watermelon up your ass so you have some inkling of what your mother suffered through trying to give birth to that giant head of yours. -Your Mom gives great head - -Just fix the printer and leave -Got more head than he got body -You should wear v-necks just to say to people that the rest of your body is down there somewhere. -Damn bro your look is more outdated than your kitchen -Mans got done cleaning his moms kitchen then cracked a white claw. never seen anything so unemployed. -You look like a Funko Pop Lord Farquaad after a three week bender. -This is how you look when you feel okay? You look miserable -Skipped body day your entire life -I'd love to roast you but I think God already did enough to you. Id feel bad -Heid move -"I thought it was some weird perspective trick, but even accepting that to not be primarily the case, I can't tell if your head is really that big, your shoulders are really that narrow, or a combination of both." -Sharing needles is never a good idea. -So which watch list are you on? Or is it just all of them? -Are you having an allergic reaction? -You look like when someone makes a deliberately weird wii character and names it something like dick fart. -You look like a secret code on NBA Jam. -Damn Fentanyl really did a number on this kid. -Damn these bobbleheads are getting more realistic. -Lars Ulpoor -Lars NeverRich -You look like a garden gnome in a trailer park -You look like a starving fat guy -You look like a Nintendo Wii Sports NPC. -you look like someone stuck the head of a 50 year old man on a 12 year old boy. -Looking like Keith Buckley’s career right now. -"Now be honest, whose house have you sneaked in that day?" -I bet you have a huge cock. Haha you big dick looser ;) 😂 -ETID is the shit. Rest in power. -"Can’t, love the shirt too much" -"That shirt is 🔥🔥🔥 - -That is all." -46.5 Chromosomes. -"You look like you played keyboard in a very *out there* Band called “Andromeda G-String” or some shit. But since you, Taylor, Brent, and Kyle didn’t get anywhere with it, now you work in a vape shop and drink alone." -Bobble head -"Keep feeling good, bro. Your 36. You don't have much time left." -You look like a bootleg Soup. -Look like you poorly photoshopped your head onto a younger body. -you look like Trey Anastasio's dick -You look like you work at domino's -You look like your favorite ice cream is meth -You are only 36? Hard life or what! -The new bobblehead trailer park boy.... It takes every ounce of strength just to hold your head high like that I bet. -Your head is too big for your body -Your haircut and kitchen are both from 1974 -I’m so tired of seeing you on 8 out of 10 cats -"D+D master by day, elementary school janitor by night." -You look like a poor member of Duck Dynasty that everyone was embarrassed by -The Green Day singer’s Drunk again. -"You got squatters rights in a meth lab and I’m sure when it finally blows up, it’ll actually end up being the top roast" -Looks like someone lost their 'homeless' pocket Morty... -Luka gayrich -Mike Einziger is that you? -Someone fitted a size 10 head on a size 4 body. -How do those legs possibly support that large of a head? -You look old and yet so young at the same time… -You look like a bodega generic Pez dispenser. -You look like skinny Peter Griffin with a fivehead -If Gender neutral Potato head had a live action play it would be you. -"Every time I look at you, I repeat what your shirt says…" -"""Dude, those tats and long locks make you look hard-core tough , man.....""" -"On drugs, skipped rehab, fit for a king band lead singer" -Like Tim Minchins less talented brother. -The white claw in the background said enuff. Swiping left. -It’s like Greta Thunberg grew a beard. -Kings of Peon -U look like a grown toddler -"Looks like you last asked for a roast 7 years ago — Jesus Christ, alcohol really has taken its toll on you!! If you’ve thought about trying a substance that’ll make you hit rock bottom faster, try using your head" -Built like a wooden spoon -You look like the after photo of a weight loss achievement -"If God is an artist, in your case he was a cubist." -Suspected of micropenis -How do you have the head and face of a forty year old on the body of an eleven year old? -I didn’t know they allowed bobble heads in this community?!? Untie. -Why the long face? -"Big head, measly forearms, and biceps" -Do you just grab your clothes out the washer and let them air dry on your body? Or do you purposely make your clothes look as cruddy as your kitchen area? -"Dude, end the hunger strike" -Asmonmold -"So, it's been 36 years, I reckon your mother is about halfway her recovery." -"Getting brown to cover the dirty protest, but the tiles are a dead giveaway!" -"You're DEFINITELY squatting on whatever sad sack 'o shit lives there. You look like you're wearing other people's dirty laundry. Get it together, MF." -You have the most depressing kitchen ever -You don’t easily recognize a Mumford & Son when he’s not holding a mandolin. -You weigh 125 pounds and 100 pounds of it is that noggin -Learning how to walk with that big ass head must have taken you many many years -Feeling okay today? How much Fentanyl did that take? I’d need it too if I was living in a double-wide from the 80’s. -"I can tell you’re having a good day, that’s why you pulled your best shirt out from the bottom of the laundry bin." -When are you going to grow into your head? Have you hit puberty yet? Does your voice still crack when you ask questions? -holy fuck did you squeeze your head through that t-shirt hole or did someone lower you in from up top? -"Mom, can we see Dave Grohl? - -We have Dave Grohl at home. - -Dave Grohl at home:" -That kitchen screams poverty -Dude’s got a gigantic melon -"Ran out of meth, decides to post picture for hopes or more meth" -How can you be 47 and 12 at the same time? -"Cool, a Funko Pop of a loser." -What filter did you use to make your head so big? -ETID fan? You look like a Keith Buckley bobble head. -Glad you made it to your hot knifes today -Walmart Lars Ulrich -The kid from So I Married An Axe Murder all grown up. Heed! Move! -Temu Tyrion Lannister action figure. -The guy in IT that I can tell has a crippling crush on me but never makes a move because he knows I’ll say no. -"Don't need to roast you, god already did with that forehead." -Looking like Jarra from Men in Black -You look as if you smell like dirty carpet -"Head this way, said every compass" -You’re so ragged that homeless people disowned you by giving you a home -"And, just like that, big head wooden boy became a real boy.." -"Head of an old man, body of a twig." -The head of a 300lb man but the body of a 12yr boy -Wi Sports looking MF -Look at that huge head! It’s like an orange on a toothpick. It looks like Sputnik -You look like Rocky Dennis with a beard. -You look like every basic NPC in a rpg -"Looks like someone pumped your head up with an air hose, and your head is about to pop" -Maybe eat something while you’re in the kitchen? -"Man, if that is ok, I’d hate to see not ok. Fuckin hell." -Harry Maguire if you slapped a wig and beard on him -You look like you got stuck in a nirvana music video and it’s time to start painting the walls with that Remington -Grown man head on a teenagers body. Hmm -I would have said closer to 2024 years old. -Worst selling funco pop of all time -Ol wrinkly ass shirt havin ass. I know you picked them dirty clothes up off the floor -Have you considered transitioning back? -John Frusciante Bobblehead -Did chris hansen just tell you to take a seat -Maybe they should have ironed your shirt instead of your face. -Lame impala -You look like a big mouth character -Live action bobblehead -You stink of poo and you fart and poop on your own face and you eat poop for dinner and you shit yourself and you are a dick. -"I mean, this must be photoshopped" -"What about your life made your gigantism be like, nah we'll just do the head" -You probably meant mmmkay. -Whoa you hit a big head . On your friends call you big head? -Your mother must've had a hard time pushing you out -I refuse to believe this isn’t a poor edit of this head on someone else’s body. -"Your forehead could show a double feature, at once!" -"“Honey, I shrunk my body!”" -Doobie Brothers head with 12 year old body. -Head is 36 body is 13 -Funko Pop Jesus -Head body ratio🗿 -I'm no doctor but there's something wrong with your head -"Damn, can Kenny come out to play?" -Hi Lars -Bro weighs 140lbs with a 135lb head -Maplestory head to body ratio -"You don't need a makeover, but your kitchen sure does." -"You look like you live in an Ethel Cain photoshoot, inbred and all" -"You kept your original proportions from the sperm stage, I see." -Those shoes are cute do they come in mens? -Looks like you still still need to iron some things out -Hat stores must hit the panic alarm when you walk in -Shaggy: the depression years. -Is this for a Rocky Dennis Mask movie remake? -36? Maybe your head should give the rest of your body the memo. -"Feeling okay, when literally nothing is okay!" -you look like a real life caricature. -Why the hell is your body so small and your head so big? You look like pops from regular show -your body to head ratio is concerning -"The head of a man who is 6’2”, the body of a child that is 4’11”" -You look like viking abortion gone wrong -Update your kitchen for chrissake. -Mkay trailer park Mr Macky -Two and a half foreheads. -Man is built like a lollipop. No one wants to get to the center of THAT Tootsie Pop -wtf! is that a toilet seat with dirt on the lid in the bottom left corner ? -You look like a crack head- extra emphasis on the head -"For real thought this was the group ""Putting Lars Ulrich's face on things.""" -You look like a homeless guy who pretends to be rich- -When you can’t bench press the weight of your own head: -"Looking like the CAC from dark souls - -Looking like a PS1 game with the Big Head Mode Cheat turned on" -Had an amazing sense of accomplishment when added to the Sex Offended database. -The tallest dwarf -That’s not a real person -"If someone pulls your head back, does candy pop out of your mouth?" -Got more creases on your big ass face than you do on your shirt -Noah Can't--season of the stink. -"Show us your actual picture, not your funko pop" -"Haha, you have a head like a hairy potato 🥔" -Is this the new commercial for acne flavored Airheads? -You’ve stolen a ten years olds legs. -White trash Jesus with 2 baby mommas -You should never feel ok. -You guys remember those airheads commercials? -How you look 12 and 45 at the same time? -You definitely live in your moms basement -Is that your grandma’s basement or a halfway house for bestiality addicts? -His head can't be that big compared to the rest of his body. Some photographic trickery going on -Wtf you look like you have the head of the YouTuber Dallas Soup photoshopped on a bobblehead -Testosterone left your body just like my father did -So how many women are locked up in your basement? -Looks like a reasonable height midget -Ricky gervais’ special ed brother -Somebody forgot to turn off big head mode in goldeneye -"Your camera sucks. - -Your body looks like a penis. - -You're either the world's tallest Hobbit or a malformed midget." -Dollar store Jesus lamp -Your kitchen is a perfect embodiment of how I feel when I look at you. -This guy looks like he drinks rosè all day.. -You're a headband's worst nightmare -Head of a 36 y/o body of a teen. What’d you do listen to screamo then think you could pull off the arm tats? -Why does your body look like you stole it from a 12 yr old -Nice of your grandmother to let you live in their 1950’s cabin -Mr pototo head but with skinnier legs -"Built like a lollypop, drink like a teenage girl at an after-prom party. - -I shall be wary not to anger you." -Man's looks like default Skate character. -You're a weird looking dude -Get back down to the basement we have company coming over!! -When your grandmother sends you a birthday card does it include a bill for having to deal with you -Bro you look like a deodorant -Ginger bastard! -Why’s your head so big??? -I honestly think that all people on this post just have one big humiliation kink -Good thing you’re trashy enough for crocs. Because if you bent over to tie real people shoes you’d tip over -Like Lars Ulrich got stung on the head by a wasp -Doby was gifted some testosterone? -I swear OP looks exactly like this guy I once knew who lived in an old trailer park with a very obese wife and like 24 cats. -"Dunno, I mean some women out there might be attracted to guys with big heads 🤷‍♂️" -You might feel okay but looking at your atrocious kitchen it’s clear you’re not. Getting a few roasts before you go won’t make it any less painful -"Mom: no, we have asmongold at home" -You play acoustic guitar and legally have to introduce yourself to your neighbors. -if Ryan Kirby had tattoos -"Stuart Mackenzie: Look at the size of that boy's heed. -Tony Giardino: Shhh! -Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick. -Tony Giardino: Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex. -Stuart Mackenzie: Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. -Tony Giardino: Shh! -Stuart Mackenzie: Has it's own weather system. -Tony Giardino: Sh, sh, shh. -Stuart Mackenzie: HEAD! MOVE!" -definition of a discord mod -"Not relevant, but you look like youre good at telling stories" -The only blow job you get is when they inflate your head -Jesus Christ got a tapeworm -You need to swap bodies and choose the 50 year old one and take back the 16 year old body -"You look like you got mouth herpes from your morbidly obese aunt, Rita when you were six." -You look like you’re doing about as well as ETID -"My God Man….get that fixed. Total eyesore. - -The broken laminate on the corner of your counter. - -Well, and you too." -You look like a John Frusciante from Wish.com -You look like a Funko Pop. -You look like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle. -You put the 'no' in 'gnome' -"Hoddy Doddy, big head wee body." -Iron man -Are you Rocky Dennis? -You look like a lollipop that was picked up from a dirty rug. -"You look like Jake from Jake and Amir had a pretty bad accident and they... ""did their best""" -Lars Nodich -Everything here is the “before” photo -You photoshopped a 40 year old head on a 12 year old body -Lars Ulrich from Wish. -"You look like the first successful head transplant ever made. - - -But the doctor put it on a noodle." -You look like the singer of Kings of Leon if he had been dropped on his face multiple times as a child and never got famous. -I heard you can do magic tricks so turn sideways and dissapear -If you got your head cut off. Your body wouldn’t run around like a chicken it would find a chair -Frank Gallagher from shameless looking rough …. The real shameless the uk one -Where’s your body? -Stop posting on here and get back to work at the vegan record store -Didn’t you try and chase Neville Longbottom across a bridge? -Mr. Mackey before he knew drugs were bad -Donnie Van Cant -"With that head over your shoulders, you need to muscle up otherwise you’ll tip over!" -That's the biggest bobblehead I've ever seen! -"I’ll get to you in a second, after we talk about the poop smeared all over your backsplash 🫣" -Dudes like an anorexic jesus -Get off the internet and do something about the state of your house you scab -Eric stilts in Mask -Your head should be on a much fatter man -"Dude has literal shit smears on his kitchen backsplash and feels ok. - -Ok." -Impressive combover. One orange tan away from running for political office. -Fucking real life garbage pail kid -Nice cameltoe -Why is the microwave facing that fucking direction wtf -"the first stage experiment photos from the scientist in Honey I Shrunk The Kids, but the laser clearly missed his head" -"*Me rubbing my hands together, sprinting to the comments - “This is gonna be goo-ood!”*" -Your head just keeps getting inhumanly wider the more you go up. Homo heidelbergensis lookin ass. -"decades ago heavy tattooing meant either gang, prison or military .. now it apparently means whatever the fuck this guy was thinking" -You look like the bass player in an obscure black sabbath tribute band -Roadie for Metallica -Body of 14yo boy and head of a 50yo man -Thought Asmongolds kitchen would look much worse. -"You did a great job playing Rocky on the mask. - -Brooklyn Dodger Brooklyn Dodgers!" -You look like someone glued pubes on an 8 yr old’s face as a joke. And that you’re not allowed within 200 yards of your own school. -"This might be weird to comment here but i dont even wanna roast because we dont know this dude, only what we know is his looks right? Ive been the center of jokes many times and even bullied so whats the point of roasting (even tho they are jokes) without knowing the dude?" -If your head is wider than your hips you are probably doing somethg wrong. -"Your head is so big compared to your body that it looks like your body isn’t able to withstand the weight, and you’ll therefore fall down soon" -"Give up, you're basically 40" -Did you superimpose your head onto an 11 yo girls body? -"If Pinocchio was a bobblehead when he became a real boy, then he grew up wishing he would have died in that whale." -Decent haircut and put on more weight. -"Bro got that fekkin Jimmy Neutron going on. - -Edit: head was so shocking that I didn’t notice the disgusting, grimy floor. You need a mop, my man?? Poor doesn’t have to mean dirty." -You look like one of the characters from the Dire Straits video for Money for Nothing. -You need to stop eating Airheads -"I can't roast you, you look perfectly fine, I'm sorry" -U look like Jesus but if he became an alcoholic and gave up on life -Big head mode = on -Rocky Dennis but worse. -Built like a fuckin bobblehead -humpty dumpty -At this point it will be easier to ask you to get rid of your Celtic knot pinky ring than for me to have my tattoo removed. -You look like you go to the skatepark just to show off to 12 year olds -comment -You look like you tell everyone how cute and keen your English literature teacher is but leave out that you're homeschooled. -Jesus loves you as a friend. -You have waaaay too many comments in r/AskOuiji to make it into heaven -You're gonna make some guy really unhappy someday -Expected that paper to read: Helter Skelter. -"Your face is the reason why we keep hearing about priests and little boys, but never hear about priests and little girls." -The priest probably only touched you because you look like a boy. -"Anal sex is still sex, even if your dad promised you you'd still be a virgin." -You can escape your sister wives! -This post feels suspiciously like you're testing the waters for an OF -Get used to saying that you’re “of” someone. -I didn't know the Manson family had grandchildren -Rarely do I see “18F” in Reddit and end up this disappointed. -Sarah plain and male -Definitely is wearing a butt plug to service -You look like you don't season your chicken. -"Fundamentalist Mormon. Have fun being someone's third wife, and 5th choice." -Lindsay Slow-Han -A ouiji board has more curves than you. -.......... Are you Carrie from that 1976 film? -Your face is proof God doesn't really love you. -"Do you really go out in the world, wearing this dress? - -I believe you WANT people to roast you." -Gypsy Rose Blanchard looking ass -You’re very handsome -you look like you describe stuff as funky and groovy -How’s your relationship with your dad? -"You say, “you want a man with a slow hand,” because you don’t know any better." -"You look home taught and socially awkward AF, but can deliver calves better than most seasoned Iowa farm veterinarians." -"So you switched gender, just so the priest would leave you alone." -Ned Flanders bastard child -I try to look like a bitch all the time so maybe my mom will let me yell at the brunch waitress this Sunday. -No wonder people have stopped going to the church in your area! -All that hair can't hide your cone-head -#crawdad -Christian girls are a lousy lay. Too much sexual repression to give a good blowjob. -You look like you get passed around the church more than the donation plate -Shouldn't you still be in prison for the Tate murders? -So starved of attention that she dresses up as a young boy so the priests will touch her -" -Hobby’s include streaming death metal while summoning deceased pets on Ouija board." -H. P. V. Lovedaft. -Please remember that murdering for your cult leader is still murder. You're looking a lot like a Manson girl here. It's the long hair and naive face. -"Bob Ross wouldn't even call you a happy little mistake , he'd probably burn your house down with you in it." -And… it’s a dude -You should hide your face with the same vigor in which you hide from reality. God isn’t real but makeup is and will do more for your face than god ever could -Project 2025 should be the name of the makeover you desperately need. -You look like the book cover for 50 shades of blah. -You're going to make some incel a very conflicted man some day -“Anal doesn’t count.” -"You're either a closeted freak or you took a wrong turn down a dark alley of the Internet. -Be careful around these parts! You look like a sweet girl. - -But you asked to be roasted (I'm going light roast lol) Did you make that dress out of Grandma's curtains? - -Now skedaddle, listen to your Taylor Swift records and dodge the preacher's advances." -"Hear Pendulum have broke into the Christian Drum and Bass scene with a banger called - Transmanula. Recon it'll be one of the best on their new album ""That ain't no girl""." -Are you sure that you're a woman? -What a weird way to tell the people you are still a virgin but been having butt sex and throat gobbling for years now at your local church -Blowing your Pastor counts as cheating. -"At least Jesus loves you, right? Right….?" -The reason priests turn gay -You forgot to put your tits on... where are they? -That bed will be empty forever. -"Give it a little more, you'll be on onlyfans ""to make college tuition"" 😂" -If Mary looked like you then everyone would believe Jesus was born to a virgin. -When did you start your transition? -You'd be a handsome young gentleman if you got your hair cut. -You look like a girl that only does anal to save herself for marriage.  -"Gosh, your so beautiful. You're a 10. With a face like that, I don't see how anyone could... ro...ast...you.... -Oh...wait...sorry, that was the model to the target ad. Oh, yeah, no, you get a 2. Carry on!" -"If you’re not on your knees, God isn’t interested." -I don't think I could get it up for you -The reason priests turn gay -*Christian femboy  -when offered it just drink the koolaid -You got the slave girl vibes -"What did you do with all that extra time by leaving the 'o' out of ""sorry""?" -You look like the kind of woman who’d save semen to extort partners. -“Anal isn’t a sin” is definitely her motto -Jesus didn’t sacrifice himself for the likes of you -Are you looking for roasts while you’re on earth since you’ll miss out on an eternity of fire and brimstone? -Geddy Lee’s grand daughter thinks Jesus gives a single shit about her hoo haw. -"Ah hah, another *Weasley* has joined us at Hogwarts." -Jesus loves everyone except you -That dress Screams Sister Wives….Utah must be nice this time of year -100 bucks says she only does anal because she’s “saving herself.” -"If Jesus could see you, he'd convert" -This is what Hey Arnold would look like if you rotated his head 90 degrees -Oh christ.... I wouldn't mind banging a few nails into your ego -Doesn't Deuteronomy 22:5 say you're not supposed to dress up like a girl? -You’re probably used to hearing the phrase “keep this a secret from your mother” -you're going straight to hell in case nobody told you -You look more like a sister wife than a Christian -"When God meets Ugly - -Jk, you are cute, just wanted to make a religious joke 😀" -Give up on the religious psychosis you’ve been lead into before your brain really starts to rot! -I did my Christian duty by getting her moan “oh god” while I’m putting her in doggy. -Damn that must have been some gooood acid from Woodstock! -Your photos aren’t the only thing taken before church. -you get weird looks at church because people think you’re trans -This the kinda girl that loves anal. -"Look at you, dressing modestly to divert the gaze of the old men at church. Once your parents arrange a marriage with one of them, you'll be free to carry on the tradition of further narrowing the gene pool of your incest-riddled cult commune." -Sweet home Alabama -"""Father, I have not sinned. Brother-cuisin Brad used the poo hole. HAWK TUAH!""" -"Holy crap here comes Jesus, and he doesn’t look happy" -All the freaks go to church -You are used to being on your knees -"""Christian girl"" well, I can see it from your face, that all the anal has hardened your bond to god." -This is a dude. -"Remember, your poop hole isn't a loophole." -She’s saving herself for the right man. So it’s only oral or anal for now. -You’re a trans woman aren’t you. -You should listen to Slayer 🤘🏽 -"When they say ""Jesus loves you"" , those people will go to hell for lying." -It’s crazy that God could make you look like that and you still base your personality on praising him -"You look like you had five minutes get ready for church, but only needed two" -"I will not, unless you are not true to your self .... then you don't deserve to be called a Christian. One question do you have your... v card? -Yes or No. Now think." -"God never existed. This is no roast, just hope you wake up and see that you are being conned." -Get a personality and you won’t have to use your religion to define yourself. -"I've spent a few minutes trying to think of a good roast.... I just can't. I mean.... You're not a 10 out of 10 but you're not a 1/10 either. Honestly, you're one of the first girls I've seen on here in a long time that's not obviously plowed through at least 17 miles of cock. You look fine, you should be proud. Keep respecting yourself 👍" -You have the face that everyone at church whispers about behind your back and MAGA uses to show why trans are bad. -Jesus ain't gonna make your bed? -Ugliest altar boy the priest has seen. Even he won’t molest this one -She shows her sin bin -The one who turned the priest in to boys -"Stop posting your pre marriage pics, Aunt petunia." -Quit polling Reddit for your personality and get an MRS degree. That is your husbands job. -"You look like one of the child brides of Joseph Smith, but one can wish, right?" -How many 'inspirational' tiktoks did you record before church using cherry picked verses of the bible? -Hey everybody! F1nn5ter posted! -"You masturbate under the covers so God doesn't see you, don't you?" -its like... i can smell clueless depression. -‘church’ is code word for abortion clinic visit! Dad payed for his mistake !! -"You've made a personality out of lies your parents pounded into your head ... good job, just change your name to doormat" -"Let me guess, you went Morman and still can't find a husband?" -Username checks out. Your parents will have to pay a massive amount of money for someone to marry you -At least you will make someone happy with 12 kids -I bet Pastor Nate likes taking you before church too. -Pictures from inside the cult. -"Your minister really has made a serious part in your hair. -He must carry the Bible in his left hand while you pray for his babies not to choke you." -Do you have a shower curtain to cover your mirror so god can’t see your shame as you relentlessly masturbate? -She looks like she’s the only 12-year old her pastor ever turned down. -You are the sister wife they make do all the chores. -Why did you want us to roast you? You already did it yourself in the third picture. ✌️ -Unfortunately I wood 🪵! And you might need another visit to the abortion clinic ! -Looks so fuckable in the ass -"Well you may not be much to look at, but at least we know you’re also not very intelligent. If you’ve made it to 18 and haven’t realized how utterly nonsensical your (and all) religion is, then we know all we need to." -Maybe if you transition to a male and become an alter boy a priest will fuck you… -You look like a member of the Mason family -Did Moses part your eyebrows like he parted the sea? -I guess you needed to toughen up that ego. Why would you come and ask that to this Godless bunch? -Good thing Christ needs a bride. He's not picky. -Stuffs her bra hoping dad will notice her. -I feel sorry for your bedknobs. They're going to hell with the amount of times you've defiled them. -Why the long face? Oh nevermind.... -"Hate to tell you this, but your youth pastor isn’t leaving his wife for you." -It’s a war crime to murder children -Hi Reddit I'm Carrie AMA! -"Jesus died for your theft of Grandma's curtains. Repent of that dress and live forever in the arms of hairy, brown Jesus!" -"A church girl…. Well, I can certainly see you spending a lot of time on your knees with your hands clasped in front of you." -If the lord in heaven only knew what she does in her private moments she would burn in hell for all tarnation. I wonder how many subscribers she has on only fans? -"Dude, you kinda look like a girl." -We know what happened at band-camp -I'm a cult leader. Will you marry me? God said it's cool. -Make your goddamn bed. -Good Ole Reverend OnlyFans Cameraman. -What you see when you look up “plain” in the dictionary. -You look like these were snapped before the Manson Family picnic -You’re going to Hell -"You use Christianity as a shield to keep you away from what you want. I'm sure your dad explained that sodomy wasn't a sin though? -Why are all your photos before church? Have you visually turned into more of a fraud now that you are publically part of the church?" -You left out homely and weird. -Dem some fat ass eyebrows! -Has your parents excepted your transition to a girl yet or have they already thrown you out of the house? -Your entire system of faith is stolen and based on lies. -Does the church know you’re a male? -18? Now you just have to get married so your husband can tell you how to vote. -You look like ya daddy and ya uncle was the same man -You don't look like you are 18. -"If you have to make church your whole identity, you don't have your own identity. Funny how they like to call themselves ""found"" when they're so head in the sand they don't even know what's next to them. Tiny brain feel safe in adult fairy tale world. Big brain enjoys learning and asking questions about the actual world." -"You have eyes that are too far apart, it makes you look like an alien, and there is nothing your god can or will do about it" -No amount of praying can fix that face ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ -"I would totally marry that - -(That’s not good for you) - -Burnt" -Hi Carrie. -"The valedictorian of my high school class was a lot like you. Strict parents, Christian, church every Sunday, curfew at 9pm on weekends. She went to a ivy league school but dropped out after one semester because she became addicted to heroine and was hooking to pay for it. Your practically twins!!!!" -Not even your pictures are sharp. -Have you decided which cult you are going to end up in? Before you leave cut down more curtains to make your dresses from. Oh and you better learn to clean your room -Always wondered what the inventor of soaking looked like. -Your wig’s on crooked little buddy -Missionary is your most bdsm move -Girl…? 🧐 -I'm still pissed they made you King in Game of Thrones -"You look like a Trumper that screams at people going to women’s health clinic, while wearing a MAGA hat." -Hi -"You look like the kind of girl, that asks a ouija bord how big the butplug she wears at church should be and is disapointed if there are less than 4 X infront of the L." -Can we get pics after the pastor has his way with you? -Charles Manson groupie is as high as you’re making it in life. -You look like your a week away from growing a mustache -Got a stronger chin than any man -WHERES YOUR MESSIAH NOW ROASTED ONE!!!!! -Even the Priest don't want you... -"Only 18, but you've already got the ""divorced because my husband left me for a man"" expression DOWN." -You look like you let your dog lick you where you pee because it would be a sin to let a boy touch you before marriage -"It's ok. God loves you, and we're trying..." -Jesus took that wheel and drove straight into oncoming traffic -Your insurance might cover lip filler as a necessary medical procedure -"You look like in 20 years, I’ll see you in a Netflix special talking about “Escaping my life as a cult member”" -The only fragile ego you have is left after every insertion... -Whose curtains are you wearing? -You look like you need to put curtains on your mirror. -Aren’t these just photos of Millie Kentner ? -"Just some advice for you on your future husband… you only get two black eyes when you don’t listen the first time. Just remember, god wouldn’t put you in the scenario if he didn’t think you couldn’t handle it." -Your dog is cuter -Farcry5 -At least your future husband can already tell there's only one reason for you getting on your knees. -You do the same shit that everyone does but then think you’re better because you go to church -"I will just wait till your bubble suddenly bursts and you become a stripper or end up single with baby and it wouldn't be a miracle, you know the typical stuff" -You should leave your Christian family while you still can. -Sometimes even God makes mistakes -“Christian girl” = easily manipulated -I bet even your youth group leader doesn't try to fuck you. -Living proof that god makes mistakes. -Will you handle serpents and drink moonshine on the sly? -"18 is hard for most people. Just remember people are attracted to others confidence. Whether it’s confidence in how they look, in who they are, or what they know, these are tenets of attraction." -You look like you describe burning crosses as “awesome sauce”. -"You´re the reason why men won´t retreat in wars, because they don´t want to go home" -Your ego is fragile but your nose is rock solid -"Your underwear is still on the floor, my friend." -I thought they stopped making Duggars? -When was church? 2003? -I didn’t understand why trans bathrooms in high schools were such a hot topic until now. -This is a dude in a wig. I hope. -Emily Rose -Let me guess. CS Lewis and paddlings are dished out in equal measure in your household. -Ahh the old poophole loophole with uncle Steve 🤔 -You are GOD !!!! THE GOD OF THE BIBLE IS SATAN !!! -18 and you look like an old maid. -"Christian, American Flag... ok, so you're just someone who accepts the viewpoints given to you and takes no time to think for yourself." -"Congratulations on your transition. So strong, so brave." -Whis that face - I wish you were Muslim. -"I don't need to roast you. That's Satan's job. Oh wait, he's not real." -Little House on the scary -"For you, it’s seven seconds in heaven. For him, it’s seven seconds in hell." -Make me a sandwich -Genesis 2:22 you sure talk a lot for a rib -The priest anal prodigy -Only girl online that don't get the send nudes message. -At least god loves you…maybe… -If you need help blink twice. Looks like it was Taken before the virgin ritual at church -Female… yeah right!! -Imagine going to church lmao. Fuck your sky god -"I'm glad you specified that you're a Christian, because looking at you I was sure you'd be a Muslim or a Hindu." -It’s cool that you live with your grandma and the two of you share moo moos. 👍 -"As a Christian girl, you should understand it's not what you look like on the outside, but who you are on the inside. Be who God intended you to be, and He will send you the man He meant you to be with. You're perfectly average cute, and will land some perfectly average guy who adores you. Accept that, and be happy!" -Do you miss Warren Jeffs? -I bet praying isn't the only thing she does on her knees . -I bet you have 12 brothers who look exactly like you.. but without the wig. -Why apologize for photos taken before church? After church would they be more interesting because you drop the good girl act? -PASS.. double it and give it to the next. -"Mormonism???? Lol you're like a butterball turkey, self basting" -Get used to being friend-zoned. -Groomed at age 10 then dumped when puberty was unkind -"We don't go by ""Christian"" anymore; now we call ourselves ""Christafarians""." -You roasted yourself in the title by telling people you’re a Christian -Do you hop from cult to cult for fun or because they kick you out? -God isn't real and neither are your dreams. -Definitely giving me “Let’s soak for Christ” vibes -There’s a saying in french who says « pretty but messy ». You deserve 50% of this saying (watch carefully your bed and desk to get the answer) -"""Christian Girl"" Translated: You have to tell me you love me before I'll do A2M" -Claims to be a virgin but the rugby team knows better. Oh Hail Mary -You are beautiful outside and I hope inside too -Future harem wife of a cult leader. -Marry me -"The Temu version of ""Catholic schoolgirl""" -You look like a cult wife -where are your lips? -"I thought your God made us all in his image, but his image the day he made you must’ve been a Picasso" -comment -"I was going to bitch about your filters then saw the picture without them. Now I thank you, sincerely and deeply, for using them on the other pictures." -Homeschooled and still the most unpopular kid in you class. -Was pic #2 taken during a relapse? -"Mortgage rate eyes…one fixed, one variable." -Hin don't -The pimples on your face are bigger than the ones on your chest -"Do you do your own make up? I’m impressed, not many 18 year olds can work a cement mixer." -you look like princess jasmines autistic twin cousin -"After sex do you say, ""Thank you, cum again.""?" -Her : HEY MY EYES ARE DOWN HERE !!! -Shiva is face-palming with all four arms at your dishonor -Must have been an akward conversation when you got caught screwing your teacher -Don’t worry I’m sure your parents will marry you off into someone of the same cast -hope your parents can pay a dowry the size of Elon’s net worth. -"she has blue eyes. one blew this way, the other blew that way" -Are your parents related? -Today I learned Indians inbreed -"Sometimes, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid rather than open it and remove all doubt." -"I'm not saying you're a hot mess, but even a dumpster fire looks better than you." -Are you doing this so you can understand it's more than just your parents that are disappointed with you? -"I'd call you a tool, but even tools have some usefulness." -"I was in Cali last week, I think I tripped over one of your shits on the sidewalk." -looks like your eyes have been homeschooled too -"So, you can look in the eye two people at the same time?" -M. Knight Showmeyertits. -God the train that is going to be run within the first week of college after mommy and daddy are gone... lord help those stds -I would not want to challenge you to a spell off. -You would have been a great model for Picasso back in the day... -You look like you grew up in the back of the hotel -If all the STDs formed a giant STD and took human form -American Born confused Desi ? -"19 years ago, somebody told your parents to do their worst." -Homeschooled you say? Did you lose any other part of your childhood at home as well? -Don’t forget 7-11 clerk. -"Roses are red, violets are blue, and God made us beautiful, but what happened to you?" -"Even if you get the doctorate you don't need, you'll still disappoint your parents unless you marry a doctor." -I wasn't sure if you're a Butter Face or Pizza Face...but i settled on Butter Chicken Pizza Face. -"people are mostly going to comment on your eyes being wonky, but it really needs to be pointed out how dead inside they look." -"You didn't have to say homeschooled, we could tell by the cold blank stare." -Another depressing face of a bottom feeder Dalit. Looks like the acid hit your chest rather than your face...untouchably lucky!! -Priyanka pimple's. -Princess Temu -Parents are definitely disappointed -"\*\*hey creepy reddit guys, here, this is the place to harrass me\*\* ahh post" -Is your mom that lady that shot up the YouTube headquarters -"If bet you cannot count from 1 to 100 in any Indian Language. If that is true, sorry you are mexican from today chica. Hum apko disown karte hai !" -"""Indian born and raised in California""....I think you did the worst already by saying that" -If you went back to India you’d have zero trouble on the buses. -You'd be in good shape if you ran like your mouth. -"Stop wasting your time Pooja and share contact numbers of some old, naive pensioners with your cousin's call center back home." -The only time she took a boy home her dad slapped her so hard it knocked her eyes out of alignment. Now she just waits in her room for the arranged marriage. -Mia Queeflifa -What’s with all these new accounts? -If Prop 13 was a person -I think i understand why ypu hoemschooled -I’d rather my parents beat the shit out of me -You look like you have the worst of both countries in you. -U looking at me or him? -What's the OF link -Roasting will be good for you if we can singe those eyebrows a bit as a result. -I've seen bigger mosquito bites than the ones you have on your chest -Jim Browning knows your wifi password -You look homeschooled -Your parents would not be happy about this -"You have a very promising career as a model. - -I think you would do wonderful as one of those before photos for an acne ad" -are you subway indian or 7 11 indian -Your parents wanted to me ask you why you’re not a fucking anesthesiologist yet. -"I bet you keep it hairy, real hairy" -So when does your porn career start ... and fail -i can’t even roast you i lowkey want you -"I see a call center in your future: Thang yu fer Coaling, my name is Jane, How may I halp yu taday" -Kudos to you for not forgetting where you came from. You may be in California now but you’ve still got your eye on India -"Ah, congratulations. You've managed to combine the chill vibes of California with the intense study sessions your Indian parents are known for. I bet your spice tolerance is as high as your GPA, and your dance moves are smoother than the Pacific waves. Here's to you, the embodiment of tech-savvy coolness with a dash of masala." -"You look like you could walk alone in India at night. -And be totally fine." -"You look like you're one mistake away from becoming pregnant by 20, and having to work at your step indian dad's gas station." -Homeschooling? So you have no personality to go along with no hygiene? -"If arranged marriage doesn't work out for you, nothing will." -Your parents already did their worst on you. -Pussy smells like cumin probably -"Your homeschooling consisted of classes like Call Center IT 101 and Snake Charming. You’d think that last one would be about handling reptiles, but you’d be wrong." -I'm sure you dad does his worst when you have to visit the principal's office... -Kids your age must be so grateful not to have had to see you around school -"Breaks over, now get back now get back on the phones" -"This is the skinniest catfish I have ever seen, definitely a throw back.." -She comes from a long line of uni-brows. -You have the the expression of a cartoon character hit in the head with an anvil. -"If I were a doctor, I'd perform the ""follow my finger"" test on you just for my own amusement." -Yo mama is probably so fat when she went she skipped a meal the stock market went down. -I'm looking forward to seeing your clip in eFukt's Trolling Wannabe Pornstars. -Meadow Soprano if her IQ was 30 points lower -Homeschooled or a secret child? -What choo lookin' at Willis!?!? -"Homeschooled and writes ""ur"". Clearly wasn't worth it..." -Clean your bathroom sink! -You look incredibly average. -I'm surprised this roast hasn't been interrupted by yet another musical. -well done. you just made me gay. -Acneville -I know where you live see you soon -"""Homeschooled"" aka I was stupid so my parents pulled me out of school to save us all some embarrassment" -"You're always picked last for pin the tail on the donkey, aren't you?" -Cross eyed -She’s home schooled bc every time a teacher is taking to her she can’t look them in both their eyes -You look like you’ve fucked your teacher once or twice to get your grade up -Does your lazy eye have anything to do with your lazy looking lifestyle -"Even with the homeschooling, I bet the school district still required you to wear a helmet." -Sloth fucks Yasmine and this was made -Crazy how your eyes are more crossed than a city intersection -Too bad there isn't a filter everyone else xould use on you IRL. -Gift card run -You'll get less beatings on the outside world... -lil peep tapestry -"Call it a hunch, but I’m guessing you’re seeing two guys at the same time." -All your boyfriend be blowing up your phone? -"You have a hidden talent, your eyes can multitask." -bro is not Ms marvel 💀 -You’re flatter than the piece of paper your holding  -If I send you the gift cards will you fix my compromised social security number? -Homeschooled as in taken to 7/11 with mom and dad daily? -Atleast your eyes are looking at two auspicious directions to be Vaastu compliant. -Just when you thought connecting the dots couldn’t be anymore boring… -"One eye fishing, the other looking for worms" -Your eyes look like they're trying to find the dot on your forehead -Looks like your right eye trying to kiss the right eye -"Our comments will only be a disappoint to you, much like you are to your parents." -"you already did the worst, by the way you were brought up," -"With people like you around, I don’t know why they even bother making ironing boards." -Your eye is as lazy as your decor. -Nah but your amazing -I was so fucking bored by the end of the first picture -Is it weird your teachers have seen you naked before? -At first I thought you were a red dot Indian but then I saw the dreamcatcher in the background and now I need clarification. -Your face needs a wheel alignment. -Homeschooled; yet still felt up by the teacher. -First picture kinda look like Margaret McPoyle. Do you like milk? -Sniper -Butter Face -What are you looking at? I'm over here -Ah yes...Punters eyes... so you can watch two tv screens at once -Your eyes look upside down -How many apple gift cards can I get so you will disappear? -"Why are you looking at two different places, at the same time" -I'm over here -The bathroom selfie would’ve improved by at least 800% if you had the toilet lid up and a nice bit of gravy in there -Homeschooling- slightly less conformist than public school. -How to embarrass two countries at once. -18 no comment. -Homeschooled in a call center? -WTF? Did tiktok have something about having hot chicks come over here to get roasted? -"Makeup and filters really saved your life huh -*" -eyebrow slit dont give u a personality pookie -Your one eye look lost & confused. -When you roll a nat 1 on your respawn stats -Are you in your senses or whattt! -homeschooled in cali... Your parents already did the worst.. -"You are looking right - -And left…" -"Oh, okay, homeschooled; that's why you look all smug like you're the prettiest girl in the class even though you look like....... that." -Just because one side of your extended family is walking around with their ribcages exposes doesn't mean you have to as well. -I like the ⭐️ stickers -"They say that homeschooling produces dumb ass children, but she figured it out and sucked off the teacher to get A's" -Your bathroom is larger than your arranged marriage candidate interest. -Hot ass stick figure. -Too much makeup -Stop trying so hard. -She puts anorexic people to shame -"Which eye does your mom look into when she yells at you for shaming the family with a 91 final average in your classes? - -Does she try and straighten the eye out by hitting you with her chapals? - -Also you likely have no shame to shave it and bleach your asshole. No shame at all. Your stuff probably looks like something out of a John Carpenter movie." -"Your left eye is focused on India, and the other one is focus on Sri Lanka." -"Do memes hit different for you because of the language barrier? Like, do you see skibidi toilet and laugh or do you just sit there wondering what the fuck a toilet is?" -Who you lookin at? -"In a world where kids are busy discovering themselves, you're stuck at home, homeschooled, your only real accomplishment being your anorexia diet plan. Plus your brows look like morse code desperately trying to signal for help in every twitch." -I’m over here -Slumdog Millionzits -Tu aage dekh rhi h ya kahi aur 😂 -"Go away, I do not want to read your screenplay." -Of course it's clear you're homeschooled.... your sign is backward. -You wear the stone of peace but your face is at war with acne. -"“Daughter, you must study and become a doctor. Not studying your chemical romance or whatever chemical drugs the kids share in those buraee public schools.”" -Why is your channel NSFW? This is the only post you've ever made and participated in. -No wonder you had to be homeschooled. With a face like that I'd hide my child from the world too. It's unfortunate filters don't do you justice. -Kushi and Arnav signraisada. Awara huuu -RKelly follows you -Are you sure youre not having a stroke -I reverse imaged searched you and it came up with *Parental Disappointment” -Were you homeschooled by Mungo -"I mean, you MIGHT be on someone’s Tinder fuck-it list." -Clearly the edgiest girl in your class -U don't have any form -Here me out -Home-schooled to keep you chaste for your arranged marriage to your cousin. -At least look at me if you are going to ask me to do something -"Put on a shirt, fuck." -Who tf are you talking to right now? -"Don’t get ink, no drugs/weed, don’t get a BF and don’t get pregnant." -"""She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know..." -The lack of adversity in your life has brought you here. Mega oof -"In picture 4 there’s an Everlast punching bag in the background. In all the other pictures, your dad’s punching bag is in the foreground" -You need to put a jump-scare warning for the second picture -You look like the sister in an SRK movie -You’re ring doorbell is missing the cover -working in the kitchen can hardly be considered homeschooling now can it? -Only Naans -Is it true that bringing Fererro Rochet to a party as dessert is ok? -Didnt you play in the monkey man? -shes soooo beautifulllll -One eye so lazy needs a gym membership -Please cum again -If pancakes were a living person this would be it it's flat with no room to improve. -What u doing out of ur food van? -Your parents roast you more than anyone here ever could.... -"If I was your dad, I wouldn’t let you go to school either. Your face will just upset the other children." -Not sure which eye is looking at the camera. -Homeschooled me your family owns a hotel and gas station in somewhere that smells bad like McFarland or something. -You look like if nu metal was a person -Dinge Dinge Dinge Dinge Dinge -Handsome girl... -Do your parents still regret not using a condom 18 years ago? -Raised in California?...you're already burnt to a crisp. Just move to Colorado or Texas so your kinda can ruin another state with your bullshit politics and ideologies -Only one the family won't give a job at the gas station -Roost her -Them eyes cocked like a pistol -"A kilo of makeup and liberal use of filters might fix that skin for you, but not even that can help with your Mad-Eye Moody looking eyes." -"No need to wear a skeleton shirt, there are bones only under it anyway" -Slumdog loose change -Would not -You look like you learn about people’s insecurities just to use them as a weapon -"It’s that enormous British colonial island making shitty pakoras and samosas for the world,you hate your own identity so much that you do your best to larp as -“Asians”!" -you look like a maid in a pakistani household. -I just looked over my shoulder to see who it was that one eye was looking at. -Still keeping an eye on India. -The only thing more boring than your personality would be your only fans -"I know you're Indian and homeschooled and all, but that doesn't give you an excuse to have an eyeline more twisted than a gay parade. I mean, you can see from 2 different heights there with that gap" -"OK first off your eyes all fucked up but let's not focus on that because you can't, secondly I feel like dating you would be like dating a bag of spicy doritos from a 7/11 where you will probably work 18 hrs shifts until your 73" -Chhapri -When the streets don't call you but you call for the streets. -The Cali magic is working on ya. You almost look like a dude. -Vindalu Barbie -"Your so rude, I’m not gonna roast u! LOOK AT ME when I’m talking to you!" -o.0 -Does she seriously want to be roasted -Why aren't you wearing a top in picture #1? -E.t. phone home finger looking ass. -"At least guys won't be looking at her chest so it spares the awkwardness of trying to say ""my eyes are up here"" when you can't look her straight in the eyes." -You clean up well actually. Lol -At least you can still shit in the streets in California. That’ll surely make you feel at home -Waw bety full -By homeschooling you mean raised in the art of cold calling right? -I wonder if you ever take a bath or use deodorant. -I bet you suck at the Bharatanatyam dance. -there's a larger gap between your eyes than Indiana to California. -"Why do people who are homeschooled announce it? Is it like a heads up for : - -""I might be stupid, under educated or have weird beliefs, but at least I blame my parents for it, and take no responsibility for myself or my actions""? Or do they think it's some kind of gloat or unique trait which needs to be shoved in peoples faces?" -"Your eyes are playing Blackjack. One sticks, one twists." -"If you want your dad to calculate a dowry, just have them put a cost for every zit on your face" -"would smash, leave and shover myself at the same night" -the next Mia Khalifa -Thank God for filters!!!! -When you order Lolo Fuentes on wish... r/americandad -I would never want you to be in the armed forces. Your lazy eye would mean anyone even on your own side could be shot when you discharge your weapon. -You look emo -"Oh help my fuck... In the background on the wall are two pictures. A chicken or ""cock"" and Elmo with googly eyes. She already roasted herself for being cockeyed, my work is done here" -Shout out to phineas and ferb for embracing inclusion by making Baljeet trans -I want to marry you is that good -You talking to me? -Smile. You would be much prettier. -I would trade you for 6 goats. -Anyways where’s my sandwich? -Cow dung in ur classroom by any chance? -You look like you just realized that being homeschooled means your high school reunion might just be you talking to a mirror. -Where are ur tits? -You have definitely put out to pass your classes. -How did you get out of Ganges without drowning as a newborn? -You escaped child marriage by showing the husband to be your tiktoks -I’m guessing you get punched more than that heavy bag -"You: Look into my eyes... - - -Me: Which fucking one?" -Did you do meth straight after photo 1? -"I would but I can't roast hot people - -sorry" -Your face is in braille. -Why was the reason that your parents home schooled you? -What Marathon Gas station do you own? -Homeschooled and you still got bullied because of you food smell in your class - I can't roast you your hot -Slumdog in Bel-Air -Smash -Her other eye is trained to look for cheaper prices.. -You're the worst Indian takeaway a person could have. -There is more acne on her face than the population in india -One eye looking at you one eye looking for you -Are you talking to me? It’s bit rude to not look at the person you’re talking to. -I love the Elmo picture on your wall. -You look like a dare at the local hoodku bar. -Pocahontas Wannabe -"I couln't think of anything except, what the f*ck. I mean seriously you must have used filters whilst taking those pictures." -Why in pic 2 your face looks like you shower in the Ganges -"“Indian, born and raised in California” weird way to say you’re American…" -Sid's 2nd cousin from ice age. Ur not welcome to 7-11 -"indians not rasied in india are all gorgeous looking. - -seems like i found the exception." -You look Dalit -Thinner then a bread stick from dominoes . -Princess Jasmine after losing her wealth in FTX. -Even the guy you're gonna have an arranged marriage with hates you already -Your eyes are lazier than me and I'm 600lb -Roast?  How about tandoori. -"Are didi, ye kya kar Rahi ho?" -you look like me. -That eye is so lazy it's collecting unemployment. -You would have to go back to India to have any hope of being sexually harassed. And that would still be a coin toss -"I just realized also that one of your eyes is slightly off center. It appears to be the right one, but it's hard to tell with your focusing on two things. I'm sure you wear glasses and are just self conscious about it." -Cross eyed crying down yo back fat footed ahh bih! -You look like Jasmin if she was on crack -"You'd be a perfect character for the next season of *Euphoria*. - -The token Hindu who beat up his little brother, smokes meth, and sleeps with anyone who looks nothing like the guy your parents arranged your mariage to just to humiliate them even further." -I’m tryna wife it not gonna lie fellas… -They got this bitch working the call centre early on in life -Hey. M usually a jerk and idk. But dayummmm. Ur beautiful. Love your eyes btw. Others can do the roasting. Take care cutie pie.😚😚😚 -I am sure once everyday you orgasm to your OCI visa and think you are special -"When you swallow, do you say ""Thank you, cum again""" -Don’t take your accutane rage out on us. -You did not need to wear that t shirt with the skeleton on it. Redundant. -The parental pressure to become a doctor is bursting through your eyes lol -Dang not bad actually -"You got that fish face, the way you stand definitely looks like you’re not used to being on dry land" -Those eyes trying to see a 4th dimension. -With the exception of the 2nd pic (where you look like a meth head that broke into someone's house to use their bathroom) I think you are attractive -camera 1 camera 2 -You're going to be well acquainted with the look of post nut clarity in a man's eyes. -The only thing missing from your pics is the dot on your forehead. -You didn't need a description. We can tell. -बहन भगवान ने पहले ही तेरे साथ worst कर रखा है। कृपा करके अपने सारे फोटो पे मैक्सिमम फिल्टर लगा के ही पोस्ट किया कर -Bet she has a voice for extended car warranties -There is nothing I can say that is worse than what your parents think of you. -4th pic though 🔥 -I wanna take apu on your chest. -"Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing the privilege." -"You'll be the bitter old hag working in the family 7Eleven having to tell local idiots ""this dot on my forehead does not mean you are here!""" -Be honest - your parents posted these pictures because hey want to find you a 36-year-old husband who still lives with his mommy in Hyderabad. -You’ll make a ceo happy until he finds a white women. But you can still cook and clean for him -Trans -"Wow I didn't know ugly correction filters had got this powerful, this is truly mind blowing!! From picture 2, thank you for using filters for the others." -So badly educated she doesn't realize that shirt is an actual diagram of bones -You look like you had to sleep with the teacher for a passing grade -"All your parents' efforts to shelter you, and you still turn out like this." -Would. -"“Welcome to AT&T.. For English, Press One.” -Indian Rep: “Dank You Fur Coling AD&D”" -"I don't have spare change , go away" -Mia Khalifa? -"You’re already a failure in your family’s eyes, we can’t top that" -Arranged singleness -are you on deodorant? -Mommy -I've never seen someone look at the camera AND their forehead at the same time.  -You will have a promising career at 7/11 -Grant me 3 wishes… -You ever watched lemonade mouth? -It’s funny your family has a toilet since traditions are shitting in the street -I love Indian prostitutes. -Who are you looking at me or him? -She's the kind that can take on two people at once. She can keep one eye on A and one eye on B. -B actor in Bollywood -Homeschooled? More like 12 years of Dunkin Donuts franchisee orientation. -You probably slept with the teacher to get better grades -Guess we both have no idea where you are looking at?! -comment -For a second I thought a boiled egg had sprouted arms and legs -Jeff Gazos -All the sex appeal of a ferret with mange -This guy definitely drinks his own piss and not because he looks like a bald Bear Grylls. -There goes Finlands ranking as happiest country. -You look like a Christian youth pastor who got fired for….reasons -First pic looks like a half blown up action figure man with big biceps but little t rex arms. -It's nice to see that Dobby lived a fulfilling life as a free elf. -You had to specify ‘male’ in case those tits in photo 1 convinced us otherwise eh -You say you moved to Finland but did your hair stay in Holland? -I feel for Finland. They deserve better. -"Surprised you aren’t an Olympic swimmer or biker, your head looks naturally aerodynamic." -Why are you so pointy? -They are taking the Hobbits to Isengard head ass -"""ChatGPT, make a picture of a bald, gay, smiling, Dutch backpacker on a hiking trail, with out of proportion biceps, who also skips leg day.""" -Weren't you in Right Said Fred? -Cant serve him the sexual assault charges if hes as hard to find as his hairline. -I prefer oxiclean personally -Broke Back Finland -I bet nobody has ever offered to sell you weed  -When Jonny Sins stops doing porn and turns to drugs -Fellow Dutchie here. We’re glad you left. -He is finish…ed -"Interpol will catch you eventually dude,hand yourself in" -Channing Tatum if he had the HIV -left his minions behind. -You look like you moved to Finland so random guys can Finnish on your face. -You look like cancer patient Bear Grylls -Bro allergic to leg day -Bro out here looking like Dobby from Harry potter. -Johnny Sins if he never took up all those jobs -You look like roll on deodorant -What’s the name of the cult you started? I’ll keep an eye out for the documentary -"So...by ""moved to Finland"" you mean you actually invaded a sovereign nation to try and bring the word of Christ to the heathens? No one wants to hear your bullshit." -"You’re the type of guy to have the “social media bad, nature good” mentality yet not know how to spell the word ‘carrot’ or count to 20" -"You should be in the Olympics right now, you could've been the only swimmer that didn't need a swimming cap. The speed you'd of picked up in that pool, woulda been Unbelievable!" -Never wish for “a little head”. Genies are extremely literal -How many times have you played an extra in Nazi movies? -Will not shut up about your world travels the second you are in proximity of a woman -Which way did you transition? Either way congrats. -Did you get kicked out of every other country in northern Europe for being hairless? 😒 -Is this a make a wish post? -"When people say I look good for 33, I guess they were comparing me to people like you." -Good to see Gollum is taking better care of himself. -I don’t got any roasts but when I saw the 3rd pic I had a genuine giggle and it made me feel good -"""Nature lover"" is your motto to get laid" -Guy got barcode in the back of his head -I feel like you're the bi-product of Andrew Tate and Gollum just man/beast sexing until something popped out. -He's an enforcer for a cult that lives in the woods and sacrifices people. -Never skip head day -Uses roids to build a house on stilts and still looks like shit -Looks like you enjoy a good Dutch oven -"whatcha compensating for, humpty dumpty head ass" -Your 1st pic looks like an unflattering characiture of yourself. The rest are downhill from there. You're cursed with a punchable face -Lock up your pre teen boys!!! -Respect this man. He loves nature despite what it did to him. -"Let me guess, you are recently divorced and these pictures are from your Bumble account" -At least the Russians are not interested in invading anymore. -How did you get all of the Blue off? I thought all smurfs were blue? -You look like a big toe with googly eyes glued onto it -Baldmember. Isn't Dat soooo vierd? -You look like an elf trying to reinsert himself in society! -"You know what they say happens to guys who use steroids right? I'll bet that was already you to begin with, so you figured you didn't have anything to lose. Except your hair, obviously." -You look like an unqualified Johnny sins -Looks like Dobby had a glow up and moved to Finland -Johnny Sins -"Rub on his bald head and you get 3 wishes! -Lex Luther has nothing on you btw." -I can see your forehead from a satellite. -What the hell did Finland do to deserve this. -"I genuinely wish you Good Luck finding whomever fits your criteria to be ritually sacrificed on that altar! - -Please be sure to live stream" -You look very American -Hows the hypogonadism going -White Virgil van Dijk.... Min hair min charisma min human -Male Pattern baldness = ultimate roast. -"“From Finland I am, yes.”" -"Let me guess……… you like zip lining, New Zealand, hostels, blonde chicks, you’re spiritual but not religious, you eat 25 eggs a day and you collect “interesting” rocks you find washed up on remote beaches." -You look like you are 404 podcasts away from outsmarting someone -Became a free elf and moved to Finland -"If Donald Trump had your ears, he'd be missing an ear right now." -Nothing says adventurous like going *all the way* from the Netherlands to Finland -"Idk I think you have a beautiful face. Not the roast you wanted, but you’re hot lol" -"Because the Finnish now have to observe your early male pattern baldness, you have singlehandedly caused Finland to drop from the #1 ranking on the Global Happiness Index." -"Oh look, Caillou grew up and became a cult leader" -Mr. Clean got buffer :O -r/roastme is becoming an Instagram for masochists. *Case in point - this dude.* -Your pastor's cum must be really high in protein. -"There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch." -Mr Clean is that you??? -"You look like a happy Golum that got his shit together in the third picture, good for you." -33? -"There used to be no fairytales about gargoyles in Finland. Then one day, a Dutchman entered and none of the children were prepared for the horror that would be bestowed upon them." -"When this guy dies, he'll still have a smile on his face ""because of the adventure that lies ahead."" - -Anyway, I bet you're highly sensitive to bug bites." -Bet that scalp lights up the dark days over there. -You look like someone who likes to say „whabam“ -Ik ken jou ouwe boef 😀 -"At least Mr. Clean's son isn't spending his father's fortune on drugs like most other rich offspring. Quite the opposite. - -*When will you take up the mop?*" -Bare cheeks Grills -In photo 3 you look like an Orc that was thrown out of Sauron's army for masturbating too much. -"You look like you would be a knockoff He-Man villain from the 80s. - - -Pack-Man" -What’s up butt head?! -"Zoals de meeste Nederlanders heb je meer ego dan haren op je hoofd - -""Like most dutch people you have more ego than hair on your head""" -You look like a guy that would definitely try and pound my wife. -Jonny Sins cousin Jerry Blessings -Just a bit further up north and you can help Santa out as a Christmas elf who really doesnt like to make presents for darker-skinned folks  -"I thought you were a doctor, or an astronaut, or my mom’s personal trainer, or a pilot…." -Help never Hill play me this never taylor play mi this never David play me this never San José play abu me wtf me hongle lonnnnnnn Time not huse not wor not it's solo amenazas insulto racismo descriminacion no ay derechos parai 😭 -Two thumbs up to a vibrating kegel ball inserted into the anus during a hike. -Go shit in your pussy. -Dutchie Sins -scouting eventual dead hooker burial spots -The son of Bear Grylls and Johnny Sins -Looks like they found the tokkie that got away. -One punch man made it to Finland! -Johnny Fins -Didn’t think Keebler elves were allowed to leave the tree. -Do you ever wonder if life enjoys having you? -Are those ears or satellite dishes? WOW! -"Are you also an astronaut, teacher, construction worker, and police officer to name a few of the other professions you've done?" -No way! Yoda in human form?! -Did you hike there? You forgot your wig. -They are searching for you in the Netherlands! Why you are escaped? -congrats -"You look like a 9 year old stroopwaffle, minus the stroop." -"How was copper wire invented? -2 Dutch fighting over a penny 😃" -You were looking for love but you found child support and months of training but you realized you were in a cancer coma -Dollar store Vin Diesel -Spreading the word of Christ because no one wants you to spread your 💦 -You look like a demon from the midnight mass TV series -"33?! - -Buddy you look like my Neighbors 47 yr old Dad" -"“Roast me, I’m all ears.”" -Mr clean on a adventure for his new sponge -Hell Sinky -You didn't need to include the photo where you had a crew cut and pretended like you still had hair. -Body proportions so weird its like you were generated by AI -Wish.com version of Joseph Gordon-Levitt -What you get when you order Voldermort from Wish. -This guy could walk straight on the set of LOTR and be handed a bow -You moved to Finland to find Jesus? You know he's everywhere right? -"Muscle bound, elven, AND ordained?! Im'ma call you Triple Threat." -You look like Bear Grylls’ aborted son -U look like the white version of Jada Smith -A mad scientist tried to cross-breed Shrek and Popeye. It all went terribly wrong. The monster is now on the loose somewhere in the woods of Finland... -Dutch goblin changes career to Hiisi -Mr. Clean on holiday -You look like the byproduct of Pim Fortuyn and Urho Kekkonen being able to procreate with each other. -You look like you go by The Horde and have a woman personality named Patricia who wears long skirts and loves making sandwiches -You say you moved to Finland but did your hair stay in Holland? -Blijf daar maar -"There's no way we can roast you nearly as bad as every Finnish person you meet who hates that you live there. -I've been to 35 countries and no one is as mean to travelers as Finland is" -You look like a mix of Zuckerberg and Bezos. -It must be so exciting finally being reunited with other elves! -Keep the head -Dutch oven dooshebag. -Gelukkig nog een idioot het land uit -Who was the nice lady you buried in the woods? -Mr clean looking ass -The personification of a chode's love child with an evangelical Stretch Armstrong -Those straps were doing a *lot* of work to make it look like you have biceps. -"""HEY YOU GUYS"" is all I think about when I see that head of yours" -"Why do you come for insults, Christopher Reeve-just-after-the accident ?" -You look like a buff turtle -Did your hair not come with you?? -Vin BioDiesel -"I can’t roast you, you’re a hero. Now bring other 5 millions people with you that the house market sucks big times here." -Great! Humpty Dumpty got down from his wall. -Jhonny sins if he was a virgin -Let enough dudes throw their seed on your head you might grow a lovely bush -You look like a dollar store James Bond villain wearing George Michael’s muscle suit -So you’re just finnished with Holland? -I didn't know Mr Clean was Dutch ... -“33yo Dutch male”… yes obviously MALE. -Master gave Dobby a sock -Very odd shaped pencil head. -Preachin the good word no doubt amen -You got a job as a Lutheran minister too? -Nair Grylls -You know you’re doing alright if the only thing anyone can come up with is some clever way of saying “you’re bald”. -Go back to America where you belong -How was joining the Hitler jugend? -Somebody gave Dobby a turtleneck!! -I bet if someone touched you they would lose all their hair too due to all the gear you had to take to go bald this fast. -33 my ass. You least 45 -You look like an outdoors cooking content creator that inappropriately seasons meat -He goes hiking to Finland so he doesn't spend a cent! Typical Dutch!!! -I don't roast eggs I boil them -"WHERE YOU LIVE IS SO MUCH PRETTIER THAN WHERE I LIVE! - -HAHAHAHA TAKE THAT YOU FUCKER!!!" -I don't get the whole roast me thing I don't know why it keeps showing up in my feed because I keep seeing good people living life here and i dont throw stones regardless -FINNISH HIM -"Onze dagen van koloniseren zijn lang voorbij Columbus, keer weder naar ons kikkerland" -Je bent wel pittig kaal daar in de bergen -How does a 50yo man stay 30… -"Dutch male moved to Finland, hair decided to stay in Netherlands" -Dumbo with a penis tuck. -"As an American, I hear 33yo Blah Blah male moved to Blah Blah." -"Dutchland to Finland, real original, Varys" -Couldn’t get a steroid plug in Finland? -Pic 2/6 is giving Midsommar -You look like AI generated version of Saitama -Dude looking like an albino baby orc -Ah!!!! Een paspoort bro!!!!! -I’m sorry I just couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the pictures😂😂😂 -Fin Diesel -"You inspired the Austin Powers line: - -There are only two things I can’t stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch. - -Said your own kinsmen" -That photo of you in the turtleneck makes you look like a broken condom -"you went to find yourself, and it seems you couldn't find your hairline either" -I thought skrulls were shapeshifters? -What kinda tree is that? Looks enormous. -Finland is now occupied with shit show -Looking like an anabolic naked role mat -Where did you dump the body after she finished taking the last candid? -"You should audition for the father of ""Dobby the Elf"" in the new Harry Potter film" -Good keep walking away. -“Then who was flickering the lights? “ -If kroket had a face. -You look like a Belgian pretending to be from Noord Brabant. -"You’re nowhere near tall enough to be Dutch, and even Finnish Jesus couldn’t fix your hairline." -The smug look and npc posture already told me you were Dutch -You look like Vin Weasel -How long have you been a free elf? -He really looks like someone who hugs trees more than his mother -You look like a chihuahua on steroids -No -Come join my church come join my tribe. All I need is three so I can take all your money. -Those pics are the definition of how to not set up your tinder profile -you look like a condom. -"Please stop suggesting protien supplements to people, they already find you annoying enough." -You look like the poster child of Eugenics. -"I need some clarification, are you gay or are you a preacher?" -Looks like dobbie got the sock from the master. -"Anders Breivik's long lost brother. Watch out Finland, him saying he's Dutch might just be a cover to start a farm and buy huge quantities of fertiliser." -We missen je niet. -He'll Sink-i your labido-i. -You look like a sperm that enjoying life. Nothing but respect. -You look like the Mr Clean of Temu -Bezos? -Had to go all the way to Finland to start your cult! -You look like you fart glitter.. -Face like a (shaved)reindeers ball bag -"Did you always know your head was so very penis shaped, or was that a surprise when you went bald?" -You typed 43 wrong. -Gollum got jacked!! 😄 -"Well now when he doesn't just blow he, Finnishes." -First picture is budget Vin Diesel but in your case Van Diesel -Dutch police finally caught you stalking minors so you had to go elsewhere? -I was going to report this as NSFW but that second to last pic isn't an uncut dick but it's you! -So we are colonizing again? Leave those pagans alone. -"Jesus called, he said ""NO. Just no.""" -First time I've seen Mr. Clean not cleaning shit. -Is a Dutch person moving to Finland the US equivalent of a person from Vermont moving to Maine? -"Ah yes, Johnny good deeds" -Picture #3 looks like a leprechaun lost in the woods. -What's it like being a sociopath? -The fourth pic is the look you give the Finnish scouts kids just before violating them in the forest hm? This why you left the Netherlands? -Dobby is a free elf! -Looks like the end of another bloodline -Those are the ears of a man who let someone ride his face for way too long. -Which one of you has the light today? Seems like hedwig to me. -First pic looks like Mr clean’s shitty vegan cousin -You look like a broke Bezos. -"You look like you moved to Finland to avoid your two kids, not just because of the restraining order your ex in Denmark has against you." -Not a roast but we know you’re agent 47 undercover -Three thumbs up -Bro looks like Mr clean -Why are your calf’s so afraid of gaining muscle? -do your ears receive all satellite channels ? -Now I understand where the term dickhead came from -elves have smaller ears then he does -Damn Shreks been dosing on that Ozempic -Je ziet er uit als een rechts nationalistische prepper die naar het noorden is verhuisd om weg te komen van de immigranten -"You look like you’re a really nice guy. - - - -Jerk" -My brother is Joe rogan -Did you have a question or... -your ears are more impressive than your biceps -Skipped leg day. I have seen better legs on fucking coffee table. -Vin Butane -"i assumed weirdly strong, small headed elves lived in Finland & you've proven this to be true sir." -You look like the definition of a walking midlife crisis -"Dutch, Swedish... same thing: https://youtu.be/lHlOXOb3vwQ?si=3fFbxJ5rbDJngQkT" -"People have to explain to others just why they can't stand you. ""But he's so nice, how could you not like him?""" -Why are your shoes not made of wood?? -Jeff Bosos -Missionary is also the only position you know -comment -Yall know her wig is attached to the hat right? -Cloud 9 can’t support the weight of that makeup. -Back to McDonald's for your evening shift. -All that icing on your face lookin like a chocolate cupcake. -"You look like you just got a degree in ""Speaking to the Manager""" -"“Congratulations Class of Friday afternoon, make sure to have your degree stamped on the way out.”" -Masters in Mascara Overapplication. We're proud of you.  -Don’t include a picture in your resume -Does this college give degrees to everyone? -Congrats! You can now work the X-ray machine at your TSA job. -"now provide us with one picture without filters and no makeup, just accept that you aren‘t in your 20s anymore" -"You're 41? At this age, your back goes out more than you do!" -41 years to get a “degree” from a college that advertises during day time talk tv? Wow….impressive. -"University of Maryland 'global campus' ... ah yes the online ""Criminal Justice"" or ""Cyber Security"" degree. Hang it in the bathroom... just in case." -Bitch got more filters than a Brita. -A master’s degree in applying makeup with a trowel -I can't decide what is more fake. Your ridiculous eyelashes or the filters on your photo. -Good job dude -I’ll tip you extra at Starbucks tomorrow. -You remind me of that ad where that lady talks about SHNU and what great future lies ahead of her.... Well we all know how that story really ends  -Turn the filters off 😂 have a reality roast 😂🤣😂 -"41 with masters in cybersecurity with no expirience and no cert? -No one needs to bring you down, life will do a great job of putting you down soon." -I hope you realise that everyone can tell your face is filtered as fuck. -Nice cosplay -Good luck getting a job -Weren’t you at Duke with the lacrosse team in 2006? -Congrats! No roast needed! -Coincidentally that is the same number of filters you need to look presentable  -"DEI is dead, just like your dreams" -Your drag makeup doesn’t hide your age grandma. -Wanna know a fast way to lose ten pounds? Wash all that paint off your face. -"I didn't know they offered a Masters in ""have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?""" -"Ah, UMGC…a masters degree for the mentally challenged crowd." -"Your face looks fake. Like, I'm not sure if you're AI generated, or not." -Is your master’s degree in trying to catfish dudes who are the same age as your young adult son? -Shouldn’t you be in your rusted Nissan Maxima driving to Red Lobster to celebrate? -Must’ve been your Halloween costume -"That fucking filter deserved to earn the degree as well since it's been putting in so much work, you don't even have a nose anymore." -I once saw a Pokémon more real than you. -"Is your diploma as fake as your wig. Looks like everything about u is fake. Fake hair, nails, lashes. I will 100% say u make some man very unhappy" -"Lighten up on the filters and makeup, go put money in the B community" -Your eyelashes look like dollar store spiderweb decorations. -She must have looked so silly when she threw her hat in the air and the hair went with it -Still can't swim though -What took you so long dummy... -"Holy shit they were right, orange is the new black." -"Fake eyelashes, hair, too much make-up, drawn on eyebrows…which of you two graduated?" -"Wow, a Master’s degree at 41? Impressive! Too bad the job market’s like, “Oh, but do you have 15 years of experience for this junior role?”" -More tits than brains -"don't worry, your makeup will break the fall" -Now go pay bills for your “King” who has no job and 4 baby momma’s and is probably using your car to have sex with one of them while you work. -We can hang it up right next to your brother's prison issued barber license. -"Graduated on Friday, and began putting on makeup on Wednesday..." -"Let me guess, you have a bedazzled license plate frame on your shit box car." -Now you can work the help desk for Spirit Airlines. -What future is there in Bronze Age Sumerian Badminton Theory? -Ru Paul scholarship candidate -Some people may say you did it too late and those people are right -Is cloud 9 the name of the filter? -You probably got a son who's 30 whos managing a McDonald's and yet he still makes more money than you. -"Degree = +1 life opportunity points.. -Women & Black = -5 life opportunity points" -"You are hired --Local McDonald's manager" -Surely there was more time invested in the filter than the degree. -May the Lord take two years off of my life and add it to yours. 🙏🏻 -Salon owners out there spending their doe. Better than an Altima -Your dad would be proud… if you actually knew him. -Not a roast but a question which stems from my curiosity for all things related to academic dress. Why are you wearing an octagonal (8-sided) velvet tam (which is usually worn by PhD recipients in the US) instead of a square cap? Is the tassel on the tam golden? T.IA. -I just wanted to make sure that it Reddit was still full of racist -"First congrats. Second, being 41 and having those poor decisions for nose rings made me realize why it took you so long to graduate" -Imagine trying to look professional with cumbrellas 😂 -I had no idea a masters in cosmetology was a thing. -Were all the comments on makeup filtered out? -Well the Master’s wasn’t in photo editing -Let me guess… Masters in Fried Chicken Management? -You do not need fake lashes -"How did you get the ""Maryland"" patch over the 'Phoenix' one?" -Hope you like working more than retirement. That debt’ll follow you to the fucking grave. -What was your masters? Shoplifting? -"You did it! It only took 18 years and $948,900 in student loans." -ooooo congrats mary j broke -"I got mine by 28. I should have just got shark VD and nailed my ballsack to a wooden Indian statue outside a cigar shop before sticking a cattle prod up my arse while stepping on a caltrop, and I’d have been better off." -Camera has more filters than a coffee pot!!! -Clown makeup school? -First generation…… first evolution -I knew the comments would not disappoint -Congratulations! This is going to do wonders for your onlyfans content for this month -41 damn old ass got a masters in operating switchboards. -Wauw that's a lot of fucking fuzz for a friggin' Bachelor's degree -That’s not your real hair -Those hands could make an F150 driver side shock look small. -Does this mean no more food stamps? -"So, you are still Black…" -Well at least the IT degree will help you with your OF page -You don’t need a degree to work in fast food! -Is this an advertisement for Black Lives Matter campaign? Make sure to give the props and the certificate back to the university -"Yeah well… your eyes a…… are as pretty as the rest of your face. - -G/d I’m no good at this." -"Since when did you get a master’s degree in wearing too much makeup? - -Congrats... you can now do a nursing job washing and cleaning the elder’s asshole for minimum wage while giving them head and being in a never-ending debt, you will regret your life choices... you should have done OnlyFans!" -It took you that long? -"Congratulations! Only 23 years of college to get it, too!" -All that money spent just to make less money than men -Doing something in your 40s... that 20 year olds do on the regular.. that's cute. -The only thing high as cloud 9 is your one eyebrow -I got my masters at 25 what the hell took you so long? -"You call that face your own, we call that silicone " -Couldn't get into a real school? -Congratulation on your Masters Degree in Wonka bar making -"Let me guess, was it a Masters in Systemic Systems of Structural Institutions?" -Oompa lompa Dupity Dee jaundice is real now listen to me -Fuck no I’m not making fun of you. You just got a masters in cyber security if I say some shit you don’t like you’ll be able to find me 🤣🤣🤣 -Absolutely not! Congratulations!!!!! -They do a Masters for Nail Techs? -That degree is as fake as those eyelashes! -Cardi Z -Is 41 the age or dress size? -"Stored 41 years worth of information in that forehead, damn 😩" -"Blink a lot in an area with windmills, helps increase the wind speed and power output." -i think it might take you longer to remove your make up than apply it: but well done anyway! -Going to cosmetology school for 6 months involing hair plugs and weaves doesn't mean you have a Masters Degree -Now you’re 4 kids from 3 dads have a better role model. Good for them. -Ok now back to the stripclub you for some real paper -"Masters Degree at 41, you only have 20 years tops to pay off that 8 year student loan before you die!" -But you still can't keep a man... -The eyelashes make me think you graduated from Diddy University. Majoring in Rachet with a minor in Hair Weaves. -I didn’t know they offered masters  degrees in cosmetology.  -How much did you pay for that costume? -So generic with that makeup on you bouta go back to franklin's dog ass -Congratulations on your massive debt and overcrowded job market -Devry will take anyone nowadays -So did you really graduate from the school of cyber security and I T or did you hack into their system ? -Lizzo done got her degree -Gravity will do that for you soon enough -Not today... congratulations! -Congrats -Congratulations QUEEN! -I have no idea how you graduated with a masters in cybersecurity with those long ass fingernails that look like they've never touched a keyboard. -Black trans grandmas for Trump…even using the Trump makeup I see 👏🏼 🤡 -Her Major is in Drive Thru Cashiering -I believe she majored in Primatology. -"Don’t waste our time, we all know basket ball or rap music is the only way out" -"Congrats, another notch in your belt when you apply for food stamps." -Who doesn’t have a masters degree nowadays? -That 3rd photo is about all you'll be good for anyhow. Service slave. -"I bet it’s a master of communication, or a master of science in (insert bollocks). I also bet it was a coursework masters." -That degree is faker them those lashes -"Your worthless! -Please continue to be worthless by trying to help people!" -Them tits are hanging past your waist -Oh hell no darling. Continue to reach for the stars -"Landfill called, it wants its makeup back!" -It took you 41 years to do that? I thought people enjoy in that period. -Only took 18 extra years -"Imagine taking on huge debt at 41 for a piece of paper. I'm sure all those companies are looking for middle aged people with no experience. - -Enjoy your entry level position" -Great pace. You will be a candidate for the labor card at the age of 80. -41? You look much older than that -"- Gets a Master degree -- Only recommendation for enhancing company's cyber security is to make phishing tests more realistic -- Leads phishing test by putting on a cake's worth of makeup and trying to seduce male employees - -It's a genius plan, really" -"Its ALWAYS some cornball,insecure jealous racist trolls online ALWAYS 😂😂PATHETIC" -Nah just congrats -I’ve got nothing congrats sis✊🏽 -"R/roast me just gives sad bored people an opportunity to be racist. 90% of the comments were about her skin color, working at McDonald or being a single mother? From 3 pictures you sad miserable people must be projecting because a masters degree is a great accomplishment. Ion like her boots tho looking like SpongeBob in them." -Comment section full of racism is sad. Roast me got dark real quick. -Your six kids with 5 baby daddies should be proud! -I refuse to bring you down. FUCK YEAH. FUCK YEAH. FUCK YEAH. Also your forehead is perfect with nary a wrinkle. God I am terrible at roasting. -I can't because you're magnificent....congratulations -Ol college degree having ahh -"A strong black woman, that overcame obstacles and achieved her goals?? Nope this white dude can’t talk any shit. Good for you 👍" -Nah fuck that congratulations -Sorry! Can't do it! U rock! Get you some CELEBRATION and hit us on another day to roast ya! Go go go! -Your gorgeous -"congratulations, may God bless you!" -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -Is your ex the mayor of Whoville? -I see you got to keep the needles in the break-up. -Your ex must have recently gotten glasses -You look like someone susceptible to joining a cult. -Just buy new batteries -Shave or at least trim your bush. Can’t even see it but I know its out of control -Even your toys tell you to keep the lights off. -"Gurl, you are rocking that all natural Manson Family cult look." -You look like worm from a half eaten apple. -How the fuck you look 45 and 20 at the same time -Natural deodorant isn't doing you any favors. -You look like Bret the Hitman Hart. -You look like you would sell your siblings to an ice witch for some Turkish delight. -Alanis Whoresette -You look like you have hairy feet -You look like you used to be fun. -"Don't worry, you won't have to experience many more breakups. " -a **Githyanki** wtf -Were you adopted from Whoville? -what's UP with your nose? -"I thought those antlers were a red flag but then I saw your first tattoo. First impression is Deep South, joined a scary-ass cult at 12yo and rescued by Woody Harrelson in True Detective season 1." -He probably left you for something less toxic like heroin or something -Maybe you should go with more Forever 21 and less Area 51. -"I feel as if Austin Powers is gonna jump out, rip your wig off, and yell out ""That's a man, baby""." -I need a throw up -What you really need is a paper bag. -Glow up? I need to throw up. -You look like Andy Serkis did your motion capture… -You look like a 60 year old that’s wearing her granddaughters clothes to feel young again -So which one of yall got sober? -Look like your on track to be that old witch in the woods you hear about in horror films -"Searching for the Methly Hallows, eh?" -I hope it wasn't a workplace romance. Gringotts has strong policies against those. -You can dress gonorrhea in a dress and put some makeup on it but at the end of the day it's still gonorrhea with tattoos and a big forehead. -You look like you can’t swim. Your future definitely involves being homeless in Portland -"Y'all, go easy on her. She's clearly still upset about that bitch Dorothy dropping a house on her twin sister and stealing her shoes 85 years ago." -"If ""all my kids were taken by the state and sent to different foster homes"" had a face." -He dodged a bullet! -I can smell you through the phone -"Is there anOnlyFans link? - - -<>> thank goodness" -What you need is a laser session to get rid of those shitty tats. -24 or 44 -Never seen a goblin in real life. -"Can you pass the crystal, please." -"Not a roast but genuine glow up tips: 1) go to the gym. You will feel healthier and better about yourself while looking more naturally toned. 2) probably take a hair cut or trim. 3) better skin care routine inclusive of under eye masks 4) your tats are cool, if you are into make up, doing a ""clean girl"" or ""natural"" make up look would look cool combined with the tatted look (laminated/gelled eyebrows, little to no base make up try to focus on good skin care, black mascara and eyeliner, clear lip gloss)- hope this helps" -Your boyfriend needs a memory eraser. -The Grinchess -"You don't have to tell us why. - - - -We all know why." -You can put an ad for a new bf on that forehead. -Alanis Morissette looks like shit -If you were lying facedown and I was standing over you I still think I’d be able to see up your nose -Lucky guy 🍀 -You look like a Halloween decoration somebody forgot to put away. -"Even with a glow up, you’d still be a 4." -"Breakups are tough. No worries, meth dealers are dime a dozen." -"Now that your captors have set you free, I would start with a haircut and a hearty meal" -You look like Punky Brewster with all them freckles -"A glow up? You need clearasol, dim lighting and alcohol." -Anne Throwaway -"you look both 30, and 65 at the same time, u can use some better clothes, u look like a homeless guy asking for money. and need to get a better taste in men seeing how stressed you look, probably from that break up." -You need a glow up cause ya nose up -Pass the shrooms and nitrous oxide please (note the 2 tanks on her desk in pic 2) -Oink Oink -Whoville resident. I would’ve left too. -If it’s any consolation I’d throw a batch At ya… F your ex all the hate here assumes he’s Brad Pitt ?? He may be Brad Shit?!! -You remind me of my son. He’s out of touch with reality too! -You look like a teenager and a grandma at the exact same time. -stop smoking -You look like the first alien to grow eyebrows -Whoville called and they miss you -If the scream mask was humanized into a face…you be it…damn -It’s alright. You’ll find another “partner” your next stint in inpatient. -You could always start documenting your story on your forehead. -"Did he take your precious ring with him, gollum?" -Yall know she's cute A.F. for a Fallout ghoul. -"Some more details about me -I’ve never worn makeup -I’ve been in 2 long term relationships that’s it -I LOVE to smile and do smoke weed so the lines are that lol -Never done any other drugs -I’m skinny cause my metabolism is fast I do eat alot I promise - -Your comments are funny I’m slightly humble but not fully yet keep em coming" -"Girl take care of yourself please, you literally have aged so much from crying. Do Gua sha before the sagging is permanent. Best wishes" -"Yeah, my dad got divorced in his 50's and it was rough on him too." -"You have a crystal collection, some of which you imbue with your hopes and dreams. Sorry, those hopes and dreams are gone just like your ex." -Oh shit my grandma done rose from the dead. -Grinch meets crackwhore -Your OF is free -You like the bee from the kids movie antz -You have a big forehead you should get bangs that’s what I do -You look like your dad -I can smell your room through the phone -Sorry about your breakup sir. But.you look like you smell like body odor and 305 cigarettes -We’re not in the 70s anymore. -I’d ask why the breakup but that’s as obvious as a fart in an elevator -"Glow up as in your index finger? You don’t need to be roasted, you need to phone home." -You look like you just crawled out of the mines of Moria after shaving your beard -Too much adderall. It’s making yours eyes bulge out too much -Are those bleach stains or something else? -You look like your standard glow up consists of a meth bender chased by a 6 pack of oxy for the comedown. -Body for Onlyfans and a face for a rotary fan. Yikes! -A 1 night drunken booty call that doesn't call back isn't the same thing as a break up. -"No worries hun, you will be doing porn with your Stepdad in know time" -The pussy stink is blinding me through the Internet -16 or 60? -"Damn, you could use some cosmetic surgery and I’m anti plastic surgery 99% of the time." -"Listen non-binary Alanis Morisette, you oughta knew he was gonna bolt when he found out you were sitting on a secret." -Why do you look like David Spade in the last pic -No need for a glowup just switch your ex's contacts for fakes and maybe you can get back with him -Breaking up w/u shouldn’t take that long.. -Giving young demi Moore vibes -Girl I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup. I think you’re gorgeous as you are! My only advice would be that a little makeup wouldn’t hurt to enhance your best features. Keep on keeping on! Feel free to send a PM if you wanna vent about it. I’ve been through plenty of nasty breakups myself. You got this! 🙌🏼🌟 -your face is dryer than the Sahara desert -Off brand Alanis Morissette. I’d honestly take that as a compliment. -"Your hair is gorgeous but doesn't frame your face well. High forehead and long face doesn't work well with long hair with a straight down the middle split. Don't think you need bangs, but from just above the nose to chin angle cut might work. You could even keep (maybe clean up) the overall length. - -If you want an actual roast - you look like you escaped LDS but never got out of the habits." -"I hate this sub, your eyes are so beautiful!" -Weeeell I’m thinking you’re pretty damn cute. So we’ll just have to roast marshmallows. -You’re either English or from Tennessee! -The Only GLOW up that’ll work for you is if Oppenheimer becomes your stylist. -"You have decent facial symmetry and you're very cute :) - -Sorry about the breakup. Those suck. But you'll be just fine" -Fake pictures -Holy hell those Tattoos 😍 -If you really wanted to be roasted you wouldn’t hide your teeth -Lookin like the result of a monkey and a Who from Whoville getting together to have a baby. -Where’d you get your shirt? I love it. Sorry not roast me material. -you look great for no makeup -Nooo u don’t need a glow up your beautiful!! -i would wife you so hard -You’re the reason I’m pro abortion -Is your ex Donald Trump? Because it looks like they dodged a bullet. -Ngl I'm not gonna roast you on my opinion just start eating more you looks scrawny -You’re beautiful -Trust me it will pass. Life ends when you are dead. Until then theres more breakups and makeups to happen. -Methed out Marisa Tomei -Didn't know the Grinches sister came in peach. Spit of that thang!!! -You remind me of everything I hate about good charlotte -You collect pretty rocks AND smoke them don’t you? -My my I didn't know the grinch has a sister -You should never say children are ugly but this little boy sure is -I didn’t know Whoville had burnouts. -You already look like your grandma -"Voldemort with hairs. -I will not say anything else" -Not a roast you need makeup -Who’s the idiot who dumped Dave grohl? -Yo macka ass was login like tha grinch -You look like a mean one. -Lae'zel? -You should stop taking drugs girl -These photos reek of cigarettes -PeeWee Hairman -Which part of whoville are you from -But-but-but-but-but-but-but-but-Butterface -How do you look 60 and 12 at the same time? -Looks like Rory Gallagher. -Mr bean and the Grinch's love child -I’m glad lord Baelish pushed you out the moon door -I know I’m supposed to roast you but you literally look like an elven princess out of LOTR and whoever let you go is an idiot. 😇🩷🥰 -Sleep for a couple days u look very tired -Weed in human form -Whose drill is that? Because you don’t look like you can screw🤷‍♂️ -You look like a Githyanki -"Bruh nothing I can say here is gonna be any worse than the shit sandwich genetics you unfortunately inherited. I mean, damn.." -Looks like Alanis Morissette but with John Mulaney's face and drug addictions. -Resting grinch face. Got me 😂 -Not gonna lie she looks like a vegan version of a junky -You look 45 and 15 at the same time wtf -Did it hurt when you fell.......from your broom? -You look like Sid from toy stories sister -You look like the fucked up avatars I used to make on Wii. -When you get bored of stealing Christmas so you become a Redditor -You look like E.T. -Your skin probably has the same texture as crusty foreskin -Alanis Percocet -What are your pronouns so I can address it correctly? -You look like if smigel had a sister! -All I have to say is you look pretty -You look like your feet stank -Nasa- because no one here on earth can figure out what the fuck is up with that face. -How your face look 15 and 40 at the same time? Old ass youngster -God and eye thought that EYE had baggage… -Bet your hair smells like smoke -"""I need a glow up""; Wow, I'm sorry." -This guy needs to get off heroine -Hard to roast.. I think ur kinda hot -Babe DID YOU POST IN THE RIGHT SUBREDDIT??? Are you sure you weren’t trying to post this on r/theglowup ?? -"Aw I literally don’t want to roast you you’re cute 🥹 sincerely, just a girl that doesn’t like mean shit lol" -An OF -"Not so much a roast, but - that patch over your right eye, is it growing? My gf had a basal cell carcinoma that looked a lot like that." -"Wow, the internet can be ruthless. I expected to enter the comments and see people uplifting this woman. They really are bringing all of the smoke." -Anal bead ah build 😭 -aspiring crack addict -You're beautiful!! You have gorgeous big brown eyes and the cutest freckles! the best glow-ups are internal - please be kind to yourself ❤️ and please don’t let these negative comments get to you!! I hope you fill your tank up with a lot of love and compassion- you deserve it! Take care ❤️ -You ever get sick of hunting Smurfs?? -Did Cher and Sonny have a daughter they put up for adoption? -When u order alanis morrisette off of wish -I didn't notice ur other pics love the belly button & you shape. Stay encouraged people will always have something to say about everything but ignore the a××holes & love vourself. ❤️ -Did your parents carry you by the nostrils as a child? -Holy shit it’s Rory McIIroy -You look like you smoke American Spirits and talk about which planet is making you sad today -Because nobody says it: You are really pretty:) no roast but fr -I can cook u a roast while we cuddle in my hammock!! 😉 -comment -Got the smile of a British bulldog -At least your kids are safe from anyone teasing them about fucking their mom -I assume you write more than 10 Facebook posts per day slamming your “POS sperm donor” ex and wonder why nobody calls to ask you how you’re doing anymore -You look like you carry a collapsible wet floor sign in your purse because you pee when you laugh. -How old were you when you found out you were the love child of Jay Leno and Rossanne Barr -"Pic 2 & 3: - -There are many firsts in life. - -This, for instance, marks the first time I've ever seen someone smile the Batman symbol." -STOP HAVING SEX -We can all see why you’re single. I just can’t see how you got laid three times -Kids have A.D.D. (All different dads) -Loved you in Hocus Pocus when you flew on the vacuum. -At least you weigh as much as an average couple! -“I will probably delete this and cry for weeks” is the name of your sex tape -Why you look like Chris Farley playing a woman in the first pic?! -"36, 3 kids, overweight, lowercase teeth, balding.. you're single? Craaaazyyy" -You look like you drink gravy with a straw. -"Let me guess, the babies daddies recently came out as gay" -Whole lotta deodorant on them inner thighs -Your cats are children Becky! -You’re a Pittsburgh 3 -This is just an excuse to eat. -When someone goes down on you if they make a sound they can hear their own echo. -Do you permanently look like you’re trying to shit a steel pineapple or is this an attempt at a smile? -Did you learn how to smile by looking at pictures of Heath Ledger as The Joker? -You definitely got a face for radio and a body for Rugby -You thought the nose ring would distract from everything else going on with you... it doesn't. There's not a ring big or gaudy enough; you've go that covered. -life has already roasted you enough -"Stop smoking, at least in front of kids" -36 single is understandable but 3 kids with the way you look is a mystery -even Shrek said no -"Edit: caption should read ""single mom of 3 **chins**"" - -Just a heads up, the top down view doesn't hide it anymore. People figured that out from the show Catfish..." -"Why is your mouth shaped like a ""W"" ?!?" -"this is what tinder really looks like, and they never right swipe me :(" -"Based on how you look I don't believe your a mom cause I can't believe anyone could get hard enough to fuck you let alone twice, 3 tines is just a straight up fairytale." -think of all the calories you'll burn from crying! -Your queefs have a lisp -No I don't want to buy any Scentsy -Are you sure you only have 3 kids? -Did the kids’ fathers all go to the store to get milk and cigarettes? -Nope. Not making fun of a woman who’s pregnant with 3 right now. -I'm fairly sure that if you lay down wearing a bikini helicopters will land on you -"Are all the kids named Dontavious, but you just call them by their last names?" -"The ""single"" wasn't necessary" -"I don’t think I could roast you, being a single mom of 3 is hard as hell and I give you a lot of respect for coming here with a face for radio and asking to be told that you look like a bulldog chewing on a hornet. I couldn’t in good conscience roast someone who tries to sit on a barstool and next thing she knows her ass is on the floor. I could never. Life is hard enough when your kids wonder out loud where all the groceries went the day after food shopping, so I don’t think I could live with myself roasting someone whose ass bends light. - -GL, HF. ILY." -"I can’t roast you - you look like a sweetheart. Don’t read all these and don’t cry for weeks, sister." -Bruh the caption is enough of a roast why you need more -There’s at least two dads. -I assume you had triplets? Surely no one fucked you more than once. -I bet you also cry for weeks when Costco runs out of ice cream sandwiches. -"Let me guess, sperm donors?" -😂 you look like you put ketchup and hot sauce on the dick before you suck it -"Wow, you managed to get three? What did they do? Shoot from around the corner?" -Poor kids -"You mentioned number of kids, but failed to mention number of dads. My money is on >4." -Three baby daddies. But everyone else is the issue. Got it. -Didn’t know they put rings on heffers I thought it was only bulls -have any of the kids popped out yet -I see you love creampies almost as much as you love oatmeal cream pies. -How is your mouth both happy and frightened at the same time -You guys need to be nice.. she's got a lot on her plate. 😅 -You got that super mario THWOMP block smile -You look like the only girls who like me on dating apps. -Nah ur adorable I can’t -"How are you sing-? (Puts on glasses) Oh, damn. That's why." -You look like you burp after a BJ. -You're cute. No need to cry. I bet you're a great mom. -No terrible towel could wipe that away. -"You mean single Mom of four, right?" -You have a stop sign on the bottom half of your face. -You could have deleted it before we all saw it… -Looks like you ate the 3 -You'll still be single when you're 60 & it's your own fault. -"When Lieutenant Gordon needs to signal batman, he just projects a big picture of your mouth." -"You’re so basic, I got a chemical burn from your post." -"Ten cats is not the equivalent of three children. You’re not fooling me, I can smell the cat piss from here!" -I just love how your skin complexion and your teeth are the same color. -Did you eat all your baby daddies? -Edit* and eat for weeks -"I’m pretty sure you just shat your pants, because you saw something that had to do with cartoons." -Stuck between it can't possibly be the same guy and it's gotta be different dads -I didn't know cum stained teeth!? -My therapist showed me this post to remind me how good I've got it -More bland than a sheet of cardboard -"3 kids, 12 baby daddies. Like russian roulette." -I take it all 3 were conceived doggy style? -so that's what a transgender jay leno would look like... -"So, what's the first thing you're excited to sell on TikTok?" -You look like you wheeze when you laugh -Your top lip looks like a minimalist version of the bat symbol -Exactly what I picture in my head when I hear 36y/o single mom of 3. -"The Kids are tripplets I suppose? Because no way you found sb who actually not only managed to fuck you, but did so several times" -"Stop. - -Ew." -Is that nose ring from the stock yard -Somewhere out there are 3 guys crying every paycheck because she drugged them. -"""Yang chas Solo chone Wookiee! -""Tung ko ro yay ha yaba hahs gee.""" -"Nah guys, she’s got a lot going for her. I would say 250, maybe even 300 pounds of it." -I feel like this is clubbing a baby seal. -First time I ever seen a bottom lip say “fuck this face” -You pee when you laugh jk -Jay Leno become a drag queen? Caz dang that chin... -Coulda at least had the audacity to show something other than your fat ass head -Are your 3 kids all from different men? Cos I can’t believe someone would be willing to fuck you more than once. -The tattoo you posted about is literally the least of your problems -somones still single 😂 -"Spend less time with your hand in a Doritos bag, and more time maintaining your brows." -You ve been single for 36 years ? -You look like a fat Italian version of the Joker! -When you ate them you made sure one wasn’t a rock right? -The kids' collective name is turkey-baster triplets. -Telling by the smile I’m guessing you have 3 baby daddies -I’m guessing your kids are triplets? As no one would do you twice! -"Wait, you’ve been laid three times??" -If u were green u would look like the grinch with that smile. -Kids are triplets right? Because I can’t believe someone would fuck you three times. -Be grateful you got laid 3 times. Now don’t expect any more lady because it ain’t happening. Hope your kids got papas looks. -Mom of three ? Someone did that more than once ? -"So lemme get this straight , somebody had sex with you 3 x? - -Isnt beastiality illegal?" -"Hallmark movie target demographic. - -Curl up alone in front of your TV with a bottle of barefoot wine and whatever lonely women eat to get that big." -You get way too excited to watch “Hocus Pocus” for the 50th time. -"I bet your kids have ADD... - -You've been passed around more times that a needle in a crack den." -Lmao why the fuck do you stick your tongue against the back of your teeth when you smile? Are you really so fat that your tongue can’t find enough room to fit in your mouth because of your enormous cheeks? -You should've stopped at one and might not be a single mom still. Or lost the pregnancy weight. Or did no one realize you were pregnant those 3 times? -"single mom of 3? working hard and alone to feed kids and make them happy and preprare them for life? no roast needed, you need a bust or a statue. stay strong" -Let me guess your dating profile says “I know my worth” you look like a whore obviously you let three different guys raw dog you -Really let yourself go huh? -"This girl tells you that she is a squirter, but in reality she just pisses on the floor and bed and isn't even potty trained." -"Single mom - -Life has already barbequed you - -There's nothing I can do" -"Single part not surprising, someone having fucked you 3 times is shocking." -Bayley ate her wwe title I see -"Mkay, take your classified dating ad back to Craigslist, where it was successful the last 3 times." -enjoy your single life 4ever -"Smart of you to delete your NSFW posts. - -You wouldn’t wanna be roasted on both fronts 😂" -Single Mothers: Not even *once* -if your an angel ill call you buffalo wings. -I bet you're the prettiest Steelers fan in your trailer park -Get your 4:3 stretched face outta here -"Single mom no doubt, minimum 2 dads" -"You get larger as I swipe thru the pics. - -3 is enough." -"They’re mixed, aren’t they?" -Nothing like having a body that screams professional mom. -"And here we see the Tricareitops like its cousin, the Dependapotomus, it is known to inhabit regions that are heavily populated by American military personnel. It is commonly attracted to them due to their access to subsidized housing, tax-free shopping, and the abundance of other young virile males with which it can hunt. - -The Tricareitops, preys upon young, impressionable military personnel, often bearing offspring to multiple victims, thus forming a negative symbiotic relationship. This creature will then stay in its lair ‘raising the offspring’ while its unfortunate mate is forced to work to support not only its own biological offspring, but also the offspring of the Tricareitops’ previous victims. - -As the Tricareitops has no will to work, it will claim its mate’s earnings to lavish itself with food and material goods under the guise of ‘taking care of its offspring.’ It rapidly gains weight while demeaning its mate for losing sexual interest in it. It then matures into its final form: a sinister, soul-crushing entity, dedicated to making the unfortunate mate’s existence into a state of abject misery." -"Hog tuah "" put some butter on that thang you get me """ -Honestly. WHY do people do this? Do you need attention or do you like to just feel bad? I’m not being a bitch. I just really want to understand this stupid ass trend. -Get your tubes tied and go spend time with your kids instead of looking for validation on here you waste of gov. Assistance - Stop DMing Mike Tomlin he’s never sending you a dick pic -"There's a blind man out there for you, somewhere." -At least the makeup matches her teeth color -I love how divorced moms call themselves single. -"No roasting, us single moms have to stick together :)" -You gravitate towards top down selfies because there is no lens with a wide enough angle. -Ngl no weird shi she’s actually pretty she ain’t gotta be dissed -What’s your number on that Steelers O-line ? -Why do people do this to themselfs! -No question about you’re single when you got that creepy smile going on. -100$ says all her ex's are skinny black dudes -"Bae… why you doing this? Roast me? Is this like when teenage cutters get old, and there’s no other way to act out? Help me understand. .Oh, one more thing.. stop stealing your kid’s snacks. For real. You buyin’ a six pack of Pop Tarts.. and then informing the kids they get ONE each. What? We not going to tell them what happened to the other 3?? Just stop" -Idk why everyone keeps getting pregnant like girls don’t have buttholes -You could definitely be a model.. for sleep apnea machines -You were a 3-4 without kids. Each kid deducts a point. Now you’re basically a 0. This isn’t a joke. I wish you the best of luck. -"must be triplets - -who would hit that 3 times?" -"McDonald's arch eybrows lol... def 3 baby daddys, because, well, you know why" -"They say if you want to see what a girl looks like when shes old, look at her mom. I really hope she has 3 boys ..." -You smile like you’re crapping yourself -It is harder to eat while you are crying. -Are they adopted? I’m surprised anyone would fuck you three times. -I see Kevin from The Office still hasn’t found a passable wig. -"Delete it all you want, we'll see it again at 43 single mom of 4 anyways" -I can already hear you yelling at some poor high schooler working at burger king cuz he won't let you use a paper coupon that expired last week. -"Being a single mother is no joke. They get twice the amount of ""yo momma"" jokes comparing to a married mom" -You have nice eyes for a dumb bitch -I always feel so sad when I read these comments and how cruel people can be. Lol. When I saw your pics I thought she seems so kind -Damn Jane Leno -You look exactly like your description -"You have lived your best years, only downfall from that age." -"standard dating app contestant; ""not looking for FWB or one night stands, ive got 3 kids and they ALWAYS come first!""" -"But, she has a 3 great personalities. The fourth has an STD." -Hes in a better place -"Get a job as a tug boat, be the boat." -"If you’re getting child support, you’re not a “single mom.” - -You’re a single woman. - -Wash your hair nasty thing." -Your smile looks like the Bat Signal :) -"These comments are disgraceful. Why would you do this to yourself? - -Stay happy" -"Take off that nose ring, you’re trying too hard to be a rebel." -At least the children can say later that they could have done better -Jay Leno got a sex change? -Roast you? 8-10 minutes per pound at 325 degrees at least. -"I'm sorry, I don't have a commercial sized oven." -"What are you doing here? - -Go take care of your kids!" -You look like you get degraded in bed and take a load to the face and apologize you aren’t enough still -Single mom of three chins. -Your kids tell 'my momma' jokes -Your smile is the Bat symbol -"Two guys can fuck her at the same time and still never meet. -- -Gives BJ’s like a bull dog eating custard.." -mother of three litters of puppies -3 dad's? -Lose about 60 LBS and you’d be pretty. -You must be so proud Miss Piggy was based off of you -"Listen, I know its hard being a single mom of 3, but you didn't have to eat your kids." -Single mom of 3 chins -"You gave birth to three? That's funny, judging by your bmi, I would have thought they were still inside you." -You’re more like a double or triple mom. Fatass. -"Black man's Dream girl. ""She a 3 but white so that's a Projects 6"" Are all 3 kids mulatto half breeds? Edit: What's in your hair? Fishing lures?" -"Nobody would put a ring on your finger, so you put one on your nose." -"The last time someone was honest with you, you thought they were just being mean and stopped talking to them" -When are the triplets due? -How did you get to 3??? -When do you give birth to all 3? -"Felt cute, might Roast Me later. - -/edit spelling/" -Looks like the typical Shitsburg fan. -"Well, you’re a Steelers fan, so it’s a hard pass. Go Bengals!" -You look like you smell like freezer burnt meat -You’re going to cry for years Rosanne. -Looks like the 4th kid is on the way. -"With that face, I'd need to put a paper bag on you while you blow me just to keep my erection" -What are the names of the three dads? -Your kids are gonna be devastated when they find out you’re the one beating Santa to the milk and cookies every Christmas. -comment -I've seen kids with cancer who are less frail than you. -They used to throw babies like you off a cliff in ancient Greece -"You look like the bait in ""To Catch a Predator""" -Why are you cosplaying as a 1920s Parisian woman? -"What are you? You look like a Mexican kid trying to look white, but that white kid is trying to look Japanese. Pick a fucking lane bowl cut" -"No need to grow thicker skin, that’ll get acne too" -It looks like you’re actively trying to remain a virgin -"Lmao, you're a 9 year old girl with a stupid wig on stop lying." -I just can’t. Roasting this would be like beating a baby. It’s just not right. Get well soon 🙏 -You're the priest's favorite altar boy aren't you? -Not even here to roast. Get in touch with a real barber and have them cut your hair. You look like a fucking idiot with that shit cut. -You look like a trans Pinocchio. -Your mom couldn't even stop drinking for 9 months. I'm so sorry bro. -The “m” in “18m” stands for “months.” -"Starving kids around the world look at your photo and think, ""I guess things could be worse.""" -go back and finish your treatment man -"You're a male? - -Huh. Never would have caught that..." -"""MMMOOOOMMMMM! - -Billy stole my wig again and is wearing my clothes and my socks are sticky again! 😡""" -Many people work hard to maximize their appearance and it’s clear you haven’t heard that people can do that. -Honestly. Just fuck you and your haircut. -Quit taking facials from truck stop glory holes. -Simple Jack/Jill -"Are you some kind of overgrown insectoid cosplaying as human? You look like you completely misunderstood the assignment and looked up human boy in the dictionary. Dressed like a five year old, body of a twelve year old, and yet desperately trying to look like a twenty one year old at the same time." -Did your mommy lay out those jammie jams for you? -If Ann Frank had a dope head brother -"Work on your personality and sense of humor. It's your only hope. - -Not sure that high earnings is even a possible option. - -Until then I think you should take up mountain climbing or arm wrestling. I'm sure you have a hell of a grip in one of your hands." -Not funny enough to be part of the three stooges -"Vanilla Lice. - -Glad you decided to dress up in pic 3." -Hey I got to give you credit a thicker skin is exactly what you need. It’s the only thing that’s going to get you through the rest of your life. Also stop wiping your nose on your sleeve and things should get better. -You look like a Emo Lesbian -" - -Rocking that Moe Howard haircut, huh? Guess you’re just one ‘nyuk nyuk’ away from a full Three Stooges reunion! -Spider-Man pajamas at 18? I guess with great power comes great... fashion choices?" -I didn’t know it was possible to simultaneously look like both the molester and molestee… -You might be 18 but your clothes and haircut say you're 5 -I guess your hairdresser wanted you to grown a thicker skin too. -Shouldn’t you be helping Indiana jones instead of wasting our time?? -See this. This right here is why you keep getting molested -You look like a homeless Chinese child who got caught making love to a male goat -You could rent your face out as a thin crust pizza. -Non binary starter kit is missing the big round glasses -Hey look we found the juvenile Emo Phillips and I bet your voice cracks more than a meth pipe. -"You should've crawled back into your mother's womb and asked to be aborted. Cause this... all of this is bad. - -Hey look! It's Hitler's gay son! - -18yo? Why are you wearing a toddlers pajamas? Does your mommy still cut the crust of your sandwiches, too? - -I bet you get beat up by the kids that just got beat up." -Twink boi power bottom looking for macho bear -Mom still breastfeed ya? -"Will your thicker skin have acne too? - -(Side note: I had much worse acne when I was your age. Accutane changed my life)" -Are you cosplaying as bubble boy? -He looks like a wartime paperboy. EXTRA EXTRA come roast me on Reddit -Did u cut your hair with a spoon? -"I went ""so she's female, no trans, what now she's male??"" -Are we seeing someone transition from something to something else" -Your barber seems to hate you more than your father. -Non binary pizzaface -"My 10yo wears those same jammies, dork" -You look like you cry yourself to sleep because mommy didn't make you dino chickie nuggies. -Bros wearing a hat on his hat -"Nice PJs, junior. You look 12." -you look like you'd be easy to beat up -Not a roast but you low-key cute fr -Is that acne or scars from your mothers wire hanger? -You just look like you still breastfeed. -The first pic made me think you were a japanese girl who had just failed her middleschool baseball team tryouts. -I can’t. My mom told me never to make fun of those less fortunate than me. -You look like the kid from the grudge. -PJ’s in pic 2 is the worst shit I’ve ever seen. -stop the amish haircut -Scoutmaster Kevin’s favourite! -You should probably have your mommy wash that stack of cum towels on your bed. -whats with the jammies in the second pic? -"Hey, if someone cuts their own hair and lives in a derelict building they don't need any shit from me." -"Nice jammies, slugger" -Bro is the main character in a kids show -You look like Jimmy from South Park without the cerebral palsy -Workers at the skatepark never ask you to wear a helmet -Third photo makes it look like you’re wearing a shitty diaper -"Drive to your local Target or Walmart. Grab a scissors, some hair gel, and acne cream. Checkout and throw the items in a bag. Go home take the items out of the bag, and place the bag on your head until you suffocate." -Stop dressing like a 10 year old -"Ahhh shit, here we go again." -American Edgar -Worst haircut of 2024 contender right here. -"If the fruit hung any lower, it would be equal to your chances of ever losing your virginity." -You look like you’re too scared to try any food that’s not Mac and cheese or hotdogs. I’d be ashamed to know you. -Undercover school cop -You’ve never been to a party have you? -Some how your left eye is more crooked then your bowl cut -You look like a cabbage patch doll with acne instead of freckles -You look like a slightly less stable robin arryn -You're 18? Why are you wearing an 8 year olds pajamas? Does your priest make you wear those? -His school is going to be in the national news next week. -How u looking at 2 places at once -Your photos give us an incredible amount to work with. I am not eloquent enough to creatively break it all down in a reasonable comment. -You don't look a day older than 12 in your Spiderman PJ's -2011 Albino twink with a bowl cut. I’ve seen it all. Or a wanna be K-pop cut hahaha -Your handwriting looks like you tried to trace your freckles -"Cut your hair , go short , bleach/blonde it . Get some piercings . Get a new style , you dress like your 4. Feel like that'll make you look better . Not being mean just being real with you." -"Your profile says Ryan, but your pictures say Methanie." -I think you need to focus more on growing a set of balls and let go of mommas tit.. -Your hairdresser must really hate you. -Why're you wearing too beenies. -"Is it hair or a hat, is it a hat of hair?" -First thing you need to do is call the police and have someone arrested for impersonating a barber. -"Idk what’s going on here, life has already dealt you a bad enough hand looking like a 12 year old" -"You're what every person on "" To Catch a Predator"" dreamed they were meeting, but you actually are 18. Pathetic" -Are you trying to remain a Virgin?!? If you are I suppose it’s working great!! -18 but you dress like you’re 8 -That's the worst wig I've ever seen in my life! U need to return that to Temu and your $3.00 back -Dude looks like a malnourished 12 year old -I think my 6 yr old has those same pajamas in picture 2 -How long ago did you transition? -You either put the man inside of you or put the man in manifesto. -Poster kid for Xanax -Bro is 3 and 30 at the same time -I seen you and could tell you'd be a good sub -Even your eye is trying to leave you -"Oh hun, life is going to throw it at you faster than you juggle. You need to remember all the good. That's what gets you out of the dark. - -And knowing the internet is full of different people and that should never change you." -Should really get a new haircut -You are so cooked -At 18 our ancestors fought wars and conquered lands. You can't conquer getting out of bed or dressing yourself -You would get carded for pokemon cards g -For every pimple he gains a step father molests his son -A priests dream! Looks 8 but actually 18 -I bet you wear your pajamas everywhere you go. -"My dude...Your barber hates you, the signs are there" -"Nice bowl cut, Short Round" -Look it's an emo kid with the fashion sense of a doomsday cult member. 18 you say? You look like you're 12 and just starting puberty. I'd tell you to get some sun but I think you'd catch fire. And you probably shouldn't let your drunk uncle cut your hair. -Ten bucks says he’s into that diaper play baby sex thing 🤮 -"If your skin were any thicker, your zits would hit me in the eye through the phone" -"It's okay, your ugly ducking stage just started. Give it 18 more years." -"don't worry. in 10 years when you turn 18 you'll be just fine. until then, enjoy your racecar bed. No need to be all grown up just yet" -"Sorry, were you talking to me or the guy next to me? Hard to tell with your wonky ass eyes." -I could have guessed your bathroom and room were that gross just by looking at you. -What brand are you? -"My 6 year old has that same wardrobe, it looks much cooler on him - -I have seen AIDS kids that are not as skinny and fragile as you look" -Stevie Wonder could read this kids face. -"Halloween has been over for a week and you're out here trying to give kids ghost scares. C'mon dawg, where's the christmas spirit?" -"Holy fuck do I wish I didn’t check your post history. We all knew you were still in diapers, you didn’t need to prove it to us. Fucks sake." -"Dude I can't even bring myself to roast you. You're old enough to enlist in the military and you wear generic sports pajamas. I feel like you're somehow a bastion of innocence. - -edit: you have a picture of you wearing a diaper on your profile - -Oh" -Rob Schneider has children? -"100% has a car-shaped bed with a CB Radio on it, so he can talk to other car-shaped beds." -seen pride parades straighter then your eye sight -looks like Howard from Big Bang Theory. -Bro just go outside -Are you trying to look the age you were when you were molested? -Is your dad Howard Wallowitz? -School Shoter. -If you wanted validation you should've joined r/bois -You look like a child molester and somehow also the child that you'd molest. -You look like a lesbian -"this *has* to be a troll post. - -Nobody who actively dresses/looks/I assume smells like *this* is doing anything but jerking it into his/her sock then crying themselves to sleep every night." -Are you wearing adult sized child romper in your second photo? -Sorry your 28y/o scene bf dumped you for someone younger last year. -18M going on 19F -First photo looks like Luffy with HIV -The only thing more dirty than your pours is the house you're in -You look like you got bit by a radioactive spider and got cancer instead of superpowers -Spitting image of the Penguin from Gotham -Looks like a modern day Pinocchio ready to get Pokémon cards. -Great. Now let's see Paul Allen's testosterone prescription. -im 13 and i look older than you -mike from stranger things if he was a drug addict 💀 -Fucked up thing is; he’s probably packing. God has a sick sense of humor -Got that hair from a Howard Wolowitz Halloween costume -You need to accept your molester just isn’t interested in you anymore. -" Bro, why do you have that slave boy abused by the priest in 1199 AD haircut!?" -You'll find your place in the world soon.They put extra chairs in hotel rooms for people like you. -"18M? MORE LIKE 18 MONTHS OF FAILED PREGNANCY! - - -Imagine being 18 and looking like a 12 year old on cancer, you are wearing a wig nice try..." -More spots on your face then mr tumble has on his clothes -He looks like he still asks his mom if he can get breastfed to go to sleep. -Young lady quit cosplaying as a teenage boy. -Honestly I couldn't tell if you where a tomboy or just a emo lesbian at first. But I saw male an questioned it still. Transmale maybe you should take more T and go to the gym. Or eat something besides..... white bread and peanut butter. -Pronouns ug/lee -Gay male/ transgender male/ or butch dyke lesbian? The world may never know… -Life is already hard. Why ask for cruel remarks that provide entertainment to random people at the cost of your health? You're meant for important things. -Go to the fucking gym. -Caillou grew up emo. Still whiny as hell -Why do you dress like an autistic 12 year old? -This is coconut head from ned's survival guide -Wisdom and style has been chasing you ; however you have always been faster. -You look like that dying kid who asked Babe Ruth for a home run -Please keep any form of weapons away from this creature... -Definitely does meth… -I've got a feeling that acne won't be the only thing to come on your face -you look like an ugly male version of billie eilish -Is this a Make a Wish roast? -Nobody is going to make fun of the Make-A-Wish kid -He looks like the bad kid in every 80s movie. -The bowl and kitchen scissors are not enough for a good hairstyle. -"Each day that passes by, a new pimple appears on your face." -"I looked at the photos twice and read the comments. I’m still not sure if that’s your real hair or if you’re a boy or girl. The commenter that said choose a lane and stay in it, was spot on." -I don't roast minors -You've made a mistake buddy -My sperm are heavier than you wet wearing boots -Is that hair or an extradimensional being trying to steal your thoughts? -Tell your mum to swallow next time -You’re what I imagine a human mosquito would look like -"Moe Howard, the prepubescent years." -"bro give -my kid his clothes back hes only 4 and has been crying about his spiderman and monster truck shirts , And u got his star jammies damb 😂😂" -This what being emo is 2024 NON BINARY -"Well look at that, you have 2 virginities." -Kim John Ug -Guess your mom sat on the chair Pee Wee Herman used in the adult movie theater. -You look like your trapped somewhere between 7-14 years old. You hide your teeth and if my poodle has better groomed hair than you! -You look like the danish Fætter BR -"# ""12m trying to grow a thicker skin and plenty to roast about, so roast away!"" - -\-corrected" -Is that a really bad wig? -Instead of thicker skin just double up on the condoms. Ya might suffocate unless you poke some breather holes tho -"18? Maybe 13? - -You’re wearing literal children’s clothes, but like 1990s children’s clothes. My 6 year old is more mature than you are." -You look like the kid from little league who was never picked up. You just waited for years & years. Getting slightly older but always wearing the same clothes. At some point a growth spurt passed you by entirely. So now you're a creepy adult child wearing kid's clothes. -You still kiss both of your parents on the mouth -He’s the poster child for abortion after the 9th month… -tf are you flexing for you twink? you look like the type that would enjoy getting pegged. go outside bro where is your tan -This is creeping me out. 😬 -Are you wearing those clothes because you lost a bet ? -"The fuck is that haircut, my guy?" -Maybe stop dressing like a 10 year old. -Stuart from MadTv -Peter Pan? -Sure you're not 7? -You are literally stage 1 femboy right now bro you even put a small amount of mascara on and your gonna be wearing thigh highs and skirts within a week -It looks like you just went though puberty with the amount of red on your face -"Before growing a thicker skin you should wait for your balls to drop, Poke Bowl." -Who’s that pokemon…? -"You look beautiful just the way you are, but you may never realize it." -Get rid of the toddler pajamas -Poor bastard… your first act as an adult is posting your grade 2 haircut on r/Roastme.. good luck in life kid. -This photo was taken in Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement. -You look like the before part of an 80s advert promoting milk. -"You look like the virus from ""Once upon a time.. life"" after being divorced, fired and dealing with depression" -You look like you’re dating a cartoon character. -Are u 8 or 18!? U dress like a toddler -18 going on 7. Do your parents know you still have their phone and aren’t watching Peppa Pig? -"Our future leaders. - -Luckily ill be dead soon" -PLEASE clean your fucking house -18 going on 12. Have you even hit puberty yet?!? -Wtf is going on in pic 2? Those look like children’s pajamas? -I think ur a chill dude stay chill dude  -If you want to build confidence try Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes. -Do you cut your hair like that on purpose?? -Male?? -Bro looks like a curse word only lesbians say. -You look like Spider-Man’s biggest fan but got stuck in the ‘emo kid starter pack’ phase from 2007. -What’s up with that banana peel like shapeless ink black shit on your head? Do you get burnt when moonlight hits your skin? -You look like you are all skin :). -I was wondering why you're wearing a beanie under another hat then I realized it's just your stupid fucked up haircut -Holyyy. You look like a 1 month transition girl > boy. Rockin' a bowl cut and clothes for 12 year olds. I don't know where to fuckin start. -Tiny tims got nothing on you in the frail kid Olympics. -"You look like the type of guy to scream: -""OH YEAHHHHH!""" -You look like a doll a kid gave a hair cut to -"How did you beat all of the other semen? How did you win? - -You're what happens when mothers drink, and you're why fathers drink." -You look like Dwayne from little miss sunshine -You the reason condom was made for. -Want thicker skin? Start by not allowing your mom to cut your hair. -10 year olds should not have cell phones. Go outside and play. -I’m pretty sure roasting you would count as some type of hate crime. -You are cute you just look young for your age. You have great hair just maybe add a few layers -"Not a roast, I thought you were a trans girl to boy." -"You: I want that make-up brush look. - -Your barber: I got ya" -Dude its like $20 for a decent haircut.. -How many days do you have left? -You look like your cosplaying as an 8yo boy. -That non-binary little rizz. -You can’t weigh more than about 50-60 pounds … take that bowl you use to cut your hair and put some food in it -"I don’t want to offend you ma’am, I genuinely just want to let you know it’s time to stop going to Supercuts and find a barber" -You look like the Blue cheese pinkman -Do you not already get bullied enough in school? -Make his hair great again -You look like a 40 year old divorced Asian lesbian. -The best way to grow thicker skin is to learn to roast too not just take it go to YouTube and listen to yo momma jokes and tweak them and make them your own -"with that face , you dont need someone to roast you. Everything speaks for itself" -Which South Park character are you supposed to be ? -Remind me a meme with comparsion of lesbians in porn/irl -"A piece of cardboard has more style than you. You need a normal haircut, and to learn how to dress properly. Your clothes are terrible and dont match or look good together at all and your haircut makes you look like a 19th century chinese slave or something. Also... you look feminine, maybe your a girl, who knows. If you are a boy, get a gym membership and eat some steak. Good luck to you!" -I think a new haircut and some sport would be good for you. I recommend rowing or paddling. Have a nice day 😊 -"Mr. Spock while he was dying from radiation exposure, but with much worse skin." -I'm sorry I'm out I just can't do it 🤷🏼‍♂️ -With that haircut you probably get roasted enough -You look like Oliver Trees disabled little brother that he denys having -Stop shopping at Kid R Us for clothes that a 7 year old wouldnt even wear. -This is what happens if you only described the Beatles mop top to your barber. -You fit Admiral General Aladeen's type -Where do you live ?? Alabama? Are your parents related ? -Dressing like a 3 year old picking out their own outfit isn't helping the fact you look 12. Also your hair looks like a black helmet. -The Island Boys have a white brother who hates tattoos. And somehow he’s way more of a douche -i understand why youd grow your fringe to hide as much of your face as possible. Looks like a malformed clay sculpture -Are you Moe's grandson? -Please stop cutting your own hair -Looks like Caillou finally grew some hair. -I chimed in with a haven't you ppl ever heard of a hair cut befor? -LeafyIsQueer -I just can't believe some1 looks like this. -Imma be real and say you look like a goofy a$$ twig -Hi Pinocchio -You look like one of the soulless cgi kids from the power express movie. -Don’t roast too much or his mommie with get angry. -comment -Stevie Wonder's hairline -You look like you’re the whitest black girl in your book club. -"Get as buff as you want, you can't fight the ugly tree." -"Your tits are in a race to your knees, and the right one is winning." -I bet you give the best forehead -You look like you date white guys named Kevin. -Did you sneeze into a tackle box? -Her hair is Shrimp Ramen -You look like someone who would call themselves a “queen”. Too bad the only kingdom you’re ruling is your parent’s basement from your bean bag chair throne -Your hair is like a lizard’s tail. It falls off when you’re in danger. -You look like you have that loud annoying deep voice laugh. -You look like the green M&M with a wig on -I guess the best thing I can say about you... At least your dad isn't going to subscribe to your OnlyFans... 🤷‍♂️ -"A little cocaine and a drink in your hand and you would look like Rick James, bitch." -Too bad The Acolyte didn’t work out… -Even your hair is trying to get away from your face -"It’s a good thing you’re full of yourself, because not even the thirstiest guy will fill you with himself." -"You can remove your bio, no one is looking for your OF link" -"With a hairline like that, Will Smith would smack someone for saying your fucking name - -You got the same forehead as Robocop" -They did a nice job with the Adams Apple.🍎 -All that working out won't bring your dad back. -TWO nose rings so she's less likely to break away when tied up to the hitch outside the pub -You could fry an egg off your face with all that oil -is that a black woman with no ass and titties? -Glad you went inside the tree so you can see how men feel inside of you. -Full of yourself when you're not full of the local football team I'm assuming. -"You hid that bbc pretty good, tape?" -Morgan freeman age 20 -"That nose ring screams ""I do anal with white men!""" -You have the biceps of a 13 year old boy. -How much was the surgery -That forehead stretches back to slavery (I’m black pls don’t cancel me 😭) -Why your knees so chalky?? Also why you in that tree are you hiding from your task master? -Of course you're full of yourself. Nobody else wants to do it -"Can't say that I can offend you, you clearly have a huge dick with that bulge of yours between your legs" -You got hips like SpongeBob -My mom had a plant hanger just like your hair -Did Moses split that hairline? -"These pictures smell like a week-old wash and go, dirt weed, and patchouli." -Your hair starts after midnight like all other bad decisions. -Your eyebrows are in two different zip codes -STOPPPP!! PUTT YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!!! -"It takes two brain cells to mirror a photo, you’ve obviously only got one. And damn, I can’t tell what’s worse, the eyes being a football field apart or the literally football field for a forehead. Some bangs would hide both, maybe look into it." -Pdiddy wouldn’t touch this -"Likely story. Anyone who seeks more than one r/TrueRateMe session is clearly not full of themselves. Nothing wrong about being insecure and dysphoric, but this sub will not tolerate dishonesty." -You never had a dad and it shows. -I can smell the rotting fish and mildew thru this picture -Madam. You have a puncture in your lip. -"Oh jeez, another unfounded ego maniac with a hairy lip and a receding hairline and bad taste in everything. - -Did I mention her hairy Tom Seleck lip?" -You look like your dad don’t you? -If you part out your hair you can sell it as hemp bracelets at the county fair! -I saw this once in a nat geo -I bet dogs show their teeth whenever you walk by.  -The only thing you're full of is loads from guys who have never met their dad -Full of oil -We got captain Jack Forehead over here -As long as your girlfriend thinks your cute -"If you just pulled your head out of your ass, you wouldn't be full of yourself." -"Don't know why you're asking us. -A look in the mirror should do it" -You look like a Trans Jayden Smith -How does your hairline reach the TOP of your head?! Also you just look like your room’s dirty -Is this your halloween costume or something? You look like a cup of hot chocolate with little marshmallows. -You look like you were meant to be a stud but the lesbians didn't want you so you settled for men who also don't want you. -You’re full of yourself. You’re full of shit. Do the math. -you look both 23 and 48 at the same time -Your vulva bulge is bigger than my shrimp dick bulge. Hermit crab season! -You look like you're getting abortions at the drive-thru at this point. -"Should offend you, upend you -Befriend or suspend you -Whose legs are so bandy -Your beads look like candy -The rest, a bit sandy -And oily and gangly -You don’t have to thank me -I’ll tell how I rank thee -If near water I’d tank thee -But your nowhere near skanky -So I’d give you a seven -Out of ten or eleven -‘Cause your name might be Kevin -But your drag is near heaven." -You'll always be someone's number two pick to a white girl. -I think I saw those beads in your hair in someone's ass -You’re not fooling anyone. You have crazy low self esteem and this is your last desperate attempt for attention -Tiana gave up the gumbo and started cooking crack! -you look like u unironically use the word “epiphany” wrong -"Your eyes are so far apart, I bet you need a passport to blink!" -"If Eve looked like you, it woulda been Adam and Steve." -You’re in pretty good shape for a 60-year-old -you look like a hippy -"If you were a prostitute, you'd cost just ""4 easy payments of 13.33""" -Theres a reason you arent advertising an onlyfans. -"That is not ""yourself "" running down your leg." -Nice fivehead. -"Well, clear out some of that self and make some room in you for some fuckin' Rogaine. - -Your hairline has receded so far your forehead can be used as a helicopter landing pad." -You can watch a motion picture on the big ass forehead. -You're like the end piece on a loaf of bread.... everyone touches you but nobody wants you. -I'm not like the othe-huaguaguaguagukgukguk -"You look 13 and 93 at the same time, not even the 50 layers of makeup can save you gang" -"You look like you sneak ""healing crystals"" in every conversation." -Your forehead is in full retreat! Is there a Hims for hers? -I found a Groupon for your OF -When is your baby daddy getting out of prison? -Bangs are your friend. -That last picture is perfection. Trolls live in trees. -"I’d throw her a bang. - -Reminds me of a poem - - -Rock a bye baby on the tree top -Your mothers a whore -And I’m not your pop" -"I bet your snatch is a lot like that tree. All rough, dried out, full of bugs, and smells like mildew. Just by looking at it you can see something is wrong with it. And black people come into it and leave just as quickly and will never look back or think twice about it" -You shouldn't be. -Full of 💩 is better to say -You look like a Salem's witch from Temu -Even your face is bored with you -"Full of yourself? I bet you are...wrist deep, so you can get the watches your last five John's left. Great trick..loose enough to let them fist you to the elbow, but superhuman Kegels to get those Swiss watches. - -Joke is on you, they're fakes." -Your hairline starts at the cerebral cortex -This predator reboot sucks -You can't offend a narcissist. I'd be a waste of my time to try. -You hide that penis really well -....yet no one of value will ever fill you. 🤏🏾 -She wanna be white so bad 😩 -"Honestly if you’re confident, then the only thing I can see you’ve got going for you is that you’ve got one hell of an imagination." -So ugly even her white dad hasn’t come back with the milk and cigs -"Full of yourself, or full of everybody else on a night out thats had too much to drink, and has stopped being picky?" -Looks like Moses parted that hairline -"You really are full of yourself, you’ve tucked very well in the 4th pic" -That nose ring screams “I suck dick on the first date” -You look like you're way in my league -I mean... im balding and I got a better hairline than you. Not to mention the fish eyes. Plus being full of yourself... you probably talk and people just wait for you to be done so they can move on with actual conversation. Lol. You asked. -My ass is fatter than yours… I’m a guy. -Why are you full of yourself? -"Girl, even that dog has had enough of your shit." -You standing between those trees is probably the only wood you’ve touched in a while. -"We’ve all seen Moesha. I introduce to you all, Less-esha" -"My 70's beaded curtain want their braids back, you thief." -"You look like ksi and judging by your responses to comments, you have the same amount of personality as his new song." -"Of course, you're full of yourself, everytime you have a disagreement with people you just call them racist and walk away, thinking you're the real shit." -You smell like poop -You look like you stink fr. -isn't every ugly girl so full of her self? stay ignorant -How tf did 6 images document your evolution from middle school principal to rachet girl from Memphis -Whoever you're dating or going to date will leave you for a white woman at some point -"Anagram of ginger, yet still worse than a ginger.  " -"If ""pull the race card when I don't get what I want"" was a person." -Is that a macrame weave? -You look like you would come out and date girls just to piss off your parents! -"Oh look, it's Penis Williams." -looking in a mirror should be offensive enough -You look like a trans Beyonce. Boyonce. -It’s true! Using steroids when your a woman will make your clit bigger . Girl got a solid 3 inches in that bulge -I don't think the weave is helping your transition -is your dog fitting you for a coffin? -"I know you’re black and from the city so im gonna let in on country/forest norms. You’re supposed to climb the tree, not stand inside it." -Is that your dog or your boyfriend -Lookin like the large forehead black girl from big mouth -My grandma had a macrame owl... just like your hair -Look at her fivehead -"You should apologize to all of the internet for posting thoes pics. ""Honey, where's the eye bleach?""" -"Nahh..if you were full of it..you wouldn't ask for a roast:) - -Keep on winning:) all the best to you" -"You skinny as fuck, eat a sandwich or something." -Temu Chaka Khan. -Your built like a man and a curly dark skin I don’t gotta roast -Why do you and the dog have the same face? -"Slide 4 - are you trying to be modest and cover your breasts, or hold them up from your abs? Either way, I don't think you gotta bother (:" -That's not the first crack you've ever gotten stuck in. -Pancake booties don't come from Africa sweety. -One look at you and I am reminded of an KFC order of CRISPY wings and thighs. -Nice bulge… -Forehead for days! -Girl is holding onto her chest cause someone must have stolen her ass -She took the term roast seriously and burnt off the front part of her hairline -"Imagine just assuming people want to pay money to see you naked. - - -Just to clarify, you couldn't pay ME to look at you naked. I said what I said. - - -0/10" -…and that tree is full of you! -"I have a creaky door hinge, you mind stopping by and letting me wipe your face with rag so I can oil that bad boy up?" -You look like great value tawny newsome -IDK what's bigger. The gap in the tree or your forehead -You have hobbit feet. -Who said Black don't crack? -Homer Simpson doppelganger -You like an Snapchat bitmoji -"Eyebrows look like embryos, eyes bulging like thyroid bulge, forehead is like alien, and your nostrils are pig like. And your toes are weird - -Eh there u go 🤔" -You look like a rat with a big ass forehead -We'd be happy to fill you with regret. -Rafiki from lion king -Masochist -Body yes you have earned it. Get a good job and fix that face -Yikes -You have a face set that only Oblivion character creation can come up with. The forehead to jaw ratio needs to be rebalanced -Something weird must be going on with my IPad display. How can that tree have more curves than you do? -Full of cum is what you are -Jamacian raggedy ann wants her hair back -Who the fuck transformed your hair into a pipe cleaner? -Your thighs look terrible for a dark skinned woman. -You couldn't be any more average -You look like you make a career of insurance fraud by faking car crashes with celebrities -Clit-ny Houston -Lose the nose and lip piercing darling -It’s just the fact these are probably your best pictures lol. You have no ass too why the fuck are you workin out your arms? Be fr. -Somewhere a horse has no hair because of your weave -Is that a moose knuckle or u happy to see me -" where I'm from we call this style of hair ""an explosion at a pasta factory""" -You clearly are full of yourself. If we gave you an enema we could bury you in a matchbox -"You didn’t have to tell us you’re full of yourself, the photos speak for themselves." -Hairline said “started from the bottom now we here” -You look like you try to add to conversations but in reality you come off as annoying but no one can get rid of you. -I’m sure you’ve been full of many people -u full of that forehead -That foreheads a hike! -You could headbutt icebergs with that forehead and that would be the hottest you'd be. It looks like an ostrich egg left in a bramble bush -There's a bald head horse some where -There something wrong with your foot and you look like a cow with that nose jewelry -I can hear the smoke alarm beeping just from the picture. -You got a white girl NPC smile. -You're not spiritual and the zodiacs do NOT dictate how people behave!! Get over yourself! 😂 -A fringe on the top of your head is wild. -Can’t even get the dog to piss on you even when you’re disguised as a tree. -You look like you smell funny and say weird things that make people not wanna be around you -Noey Kravitz -Pre ru -You look like your dog -At least flip the notebook the correct way! For a moment I thought yous was Dyslexic -Enough forehead for 4 heads. -"Do you have a designer vagina in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" -Looks like you’re hiding a dick in there… -You got too much makeup and your whole personality is your body you’re soulless and a robot who doesn’t even think beyond your day to day life -Not here to roast; just wanna eat a burger off that belly -You're full of yourself because you can't get anyone else to fill you -"Face so ugly, hair line pulling back" -I see absolutely no reason why you would be confident in yourself. -Lisa Phonet -\+2 Flail damage while listening to heavy metal -"Blud looks like Ice Spice's stunt double - -There's been wars faught for the real estate on your forehead - -Even Stevie Wonder can't stand the sight of you - -Blud looks like an $1 Michone from TWD - -Blud has a 16 head - -You never gotta find a parking spot because ypu can just park on your big ass forehead - -Oh wait........ you can't drive wither way....... because you're a WOMAN, wait, you might actually be a man. Can't really tell tbh" -You look like a wooden puppet for some bizarre reason I can't shake the feeling that you're going to start clacking around or some shit -I can hear the smoke alarm chirping from here… -You are black -Are these pictures a timeline of you being white washed by an hoa family? -"Fuck, nature is cruel. Putting a face that ugly on a body that nice is just fucked up. I couldn’t even put a paper bag over your head because I’d still know what was lurking beneath. I bet you get asked to go face-down-ass-up all the time." -You full of yourself but I want to fill you more -I'm sure you've been full of lots of other selves too -Shine bright like ya fohead -"You're full of any willing guy, honestly." -"Oh god where do i start? First of all why are there workout pics on here, this is r/roastme not OF, also you look like you wanna be gangster but too white and shy to join one, also tf is that hair? You look like the real life little mermaid but dirty blonde, and trust me that ain’t a good look, also is it just me or are those lips bigger than usual, you can even tell in the dogs face he embarrassed to be around you, also i get you don’t have any significant others but please don’t enter trees, lastly that nose ring makes you look gay" -"Before I roast you, could you tell me if you’re a male or female? Thanks!" -"You drive a shitty car, bounce between shitty jobs, and spend your nights with someone you’ve second guessed from day one, but things are going to change and you can feel it. That’s called delusion." -"You look like Lil Wayne had a sex change operation, he had a change of heart midway and the surgery went horrible, and they just stapled someone’s nuts to his face instead." -"Would say slay queen, but that bulge in your shorts make me say yo da man bro!" -"Nose is fat and lips are too big. Also your hair is shit, undo that nappy shit." -"When you say you're full of yourself, the only thing I have to say is why and how?" -Looks like your crotch has something trying to get out… -Congrats on your transition bro -I bet you don't need testosterone supplements 🤪 -"sir, the beads and nose ring are a bit over the top for your Halloween costume." -You're pretty uppity -Looking like one of the gross sisters from the proud family -"Oily ass face - -Looks like you went swimming in the ocean during an oil spill lol" -Defines butterface -"You have a protected Twitter, yet you post it. There's a good roast there, but I've had a long day. Somebody take over for me." -I would legit have a stroke if I woke up next to this -You look like you squirt broccoli water. -You look like your eyes and forehead are all running away from each other. -"Bitch looks so basic, they trynna sell her on temu" -"You’re not light skin, you’re just ashy" -"Body says 20, face says you can collect your social security check soon." -"Please do a few things for the sake of the community (and to be honest yourself). -1) eat something. Black women need to have asses. You have a defined figure for it (no I’m not hitting on you, just helpful advice, I’m happily married) -2) why the braids? -3) why the nose piercing?" -"You say you’re full of yourself, but judging by that outfit, you’re more full of 2002 than self-confidence. It’s like you’re trying to channel ‘boho chic,’ but it’s giving more ‘I found this scarf in the clearance bin at Forever 21.’ The confidence is there, but so is the look of someone who will spend an hour crafting the perfect Instagram caption just to get three likes from her burner accounts." -You look like you have a lot of whites friends who teach you about astrology. -Whorey Berry -your feet are nasty -Only person that will ever fill you up is you -You take blurry photos! Live with that. -Kamala voter -"You’re a real butterface… Ie, I like everything about you but your face." -I was gonna write some form of roast then I remembered monkeys can’t read -Black trying really hard to be white is just as embarrassing as vice versa. -"Don’t me wrong… I generally love r/RoastMe… but god dammit I can’t get on the roast train. I think you’re really pretty and beautiful 💕 - -OK BRING ON THE DOWNVOTES" -"Claims to everyone she's a baddie. However in reality, she messes with broke dudes who don't even own a car and deff have a few felonies." -There's a  billboard on your face 👀 -"Girl, I don’t think you’ve ever been “full” before" -Damn never seen someone's forehead go so far back it's meets the middle of their head -"*""i'm full of myself...""* - -Metamucil gummies on Amazon, $25.68 for 72 servings." -You’ve got a very beautiful body for a white woman. -Yer father left you twice because after the first time he came back and you were still there. Yer mom does that thing we like… -You look like a Trout you Kirkland Signature knockoff little mermaid 🐠 -I just saw you and something happened…. -Erykah Badoodoo -If Moana had an ugly evil twin sister... -Still would rather eat the bowling ball -"In the first pic ur nose looks like a frog in its pooping position with those nose ring. - -And the last pic is u someday in ur tinder dates fridge after he picked u up with jus 'lets fuck' line." -You could stand face forward and someone could throw a baseball through that batters box without you having to move at all. -Full of forehead. -"You look like Alicia Keyes stoner cousin, Alice Halfagram." -many wars were fought to claim the land on that forehead -Holy section 9 … you have accomplished what many in the projects hope to achieve -One day 5 kids 7 dads yelling at Mac Donald’s I can do what I want. -"Good, because you're not getting full from anyone else" -I don't like your curly hair. You should straighten it. -With that face you won’t be full of anyone else. -I’m so pissed off this Dryad looks like a damn man. -Wayne Brady's atm.. -a mouse could take you down. -You look like you do fall for the banana in the tail pipe -Ps1 -Full is not adjective I would assume many people have used to describe any part of you. -That’s the tree from From!! -U look like a fkin Tiki. -You look like Lizzo if she had a different eating disorder -Doja Cat if she was mid -How many different time zones does your nose cover ? -I'm pretty sure you often find your full of a lot of people other than yourself most of the time -Them eyebrows are trying to split to even out that fat ass hairline 💀😂 -"You look like you didn’t have a father growing up… oh wait that’s right, another little girl was having him." -Butter face. -It is hard to determine if you prefer hair pie or balls across the chin. -Them piss twists reek of poverty in these pictures even -Erykah Badont -That's a lot of forehead. -Almond head ass girl -"Full of yourself? - -Nah, you don't look like truck-stop seamen." -That’s a big stapler in your nose. You have an OnlySinusScans account? -I hope you're at least 40. -Trying to find where your forehead ends and all I see is a save button so I can come back later and try again. -"This wasn’t a r/RoastMe post… if you see the ball sack in picture #4 it’s a r/comingoutparty post. Can palm a basketball with those hands, and a hairline only Steve Harvey could appreciate." -Full of yourself and filled with cum from the whole psych(e) ward crazy alien eyed freak. -Your hair reminds me of a New York cabdriver's seat cover. -What sort of trend is this #roastme..anyone would like to explain? -Yes. It is racist to teach your dog “whiteface” -You look like you have 32 foreheads and one big tooth -You’re like a solid 6 for someone who is full of yourself lmao you prob live in a small ass town and prob think you’re hot shit you prob have the same face as your daddy too with that raggedy ass hair -Jesus you must have been thinking when you were inside the womb because your hairline starts at the half of your fucking dome lmao -"Most of you “people” are, in fact, full of yourselves. - - - - - - - - - - -People=women" -I like -"Offend you or point out the positives? -I have nothing negative." -"If that's your real hair, I feel bad for you." -"What would you call the gap between your thighs? - -The Great Divide." -Pass -comment -I’ve seen bomb diffusers in Kabul under less stress than that pant suit. -We can ignore the missing nail like you ignore your diet and skincare routine 🤷‍♂️ - The vibrator shuts itself off before getting close -"Eating KFC three times a day doesn't make you a ""bird lover""" -Such wide hips. You look like you are ready to birth a Chevy. -What happens when you put 10 into charm and 0 into physical. -The only thing slim here is the pickings if you���re what’s left at the bar -You look like a version of Rogue that exclusively sucks the life force from KFC fried chicken. -You silently hope men see your camel toe before your face. -You posted 5 pics here like its tinder. -Nothing that a prolonged bout of alcoholism won't solve. 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸 -🫵 BRI’ISH -Grooming young girls on your roller derby team doesn't make you a wrestler.... -You look permanently hungover -Rogue so depressed over Gambit she got attached to birds and ate alot -Who are you training to be Andre the Giant? -Wrestling with obesity. -"I sent this photo in to Ripley’s believe it or not. -They replied back and said they don’t believe it." -“CUT MY LIFE INTO PIZZAS.. THIS IS MY PLASTIC FORK!” -Wednesday adams got a lot fatter -The nail isn't missing.. it was lucky enough to escape -Less unattractive Amy Schumer -I can tell that you don't wear panties and have an overly hairy fupa. -If your face was any more round it could be your body -"Your wrestling gimmick could have been ""Kelly Kong Bundy.""" -I used to wake up next to broads who looked like this after a rough night. So I stopped drinking. -You can't call yourself an ex-wrestler if the only thing you wrestled was self-control and lost. -Where you the one to test the wrestlers food ? -When did Amy Schumer cosplay become a thing? -Telling us you’re a bird owner was insult enough -Missing nail just like your weekends. -Wal-Marty Janetty -Whore-ticia Addams -"Seriously, how many black guys have you slept with at this point?" -Great Value Rogue lookin ass. -"If it's just past last call and you're thinking about brining her back to yours, just know there's a 7:10 chance she's blown your uber driver before, and that dude smokes meth and drives people around for a living." -OF FUCKING COURSE IT'S THE MIDDLE NAIL!!!! -Wow I like F1 also you’re not as bad as you look -"Don't care about anything else other than you are an F1 fan. You're alright. Unless you support Hamilton, in which case, you can fuck right off." -"I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down." -Next F1 race will be held in that cleavage -Moving on to you from being single would be like when Jacques Villeneuve went from Williams to BAR -"Good to know you’re a bird owner, I always like to know when a lady can really handle a cock." -"you look like your next big life decision is dyeing your hair purple, dating a biker with questionable tattoos, and filling your closet with 60% cheap, knockoff leather that squeaks every time you move" -Gross -This is what happens when rogue from the x men takes the blob's powers -You should transition to a guy -Everytime your team won you gained 10 pounds -Why does it look like you're being titty fucked by an invisible man in the pic with cleavage? -You can take the mask off. Your wrestling career is over. -i’d fuck you and regret all 15 seconds of it -not a roast but soccer mommy? you look so similar -Wrestling with your sexuality doesn't make you a wrestler! -"She’s what I call a small town 8. Meaning a 2 and a 6 pack," -"Gave up wrestling as soon as you heard the word ""train""." -You love fishing and guys with lifted trucks -"You were going for Billie Eilish, but you look more like Billie Sidedish." -Who did your makeup? Tim Burton? -"""i'll take Chubby Scottish Bimbos for 500 Alex.""" -Lady glittersparkles -I bet your parrot just mimics the sound of sobbing. -repping the same team as lance stroll should give you enough pain… why do you want more -"Let me guess, you got kicked out of the wrestling when they realised you were using it as a way to get physical contact with anything human that isn't a drunken uncle at a poorly attended family wedding." -If rogue from X-Men gave up -Buffy the Hamburger Slayer. -">trainee wrestler - -weird way of saying you work in HR but alright" -It's not just the nail that should be ignored ... -"It's always weirdest when the pick me girls who post in all the ""look at my subs"" are fat." -Billie eilish after rehab -"Glock tucked, big t-shirt, dollar store Billie Eilish!" -Rolling in the floor with your cousin and losing a nail does not make you an “ex trainee wrestler”. -"F1 fan, GP3 face. Body like a truck. Adrian Newey would look at you and be jealous of all the down force you provide. You must suck big time, and this even without a blowing diffusor." -You are known as the grenade that someone has to jump on. The ugly friend that the wingman has to hook up with so his buddy can get with your hot friend. -"You know alot of men who never gone to bed with an unattractive girl, but they all have woken up with one!" -"Your jawline is strong as hell, I know you're at least half donkey." -It unknown where your body’s parts start and where do they end -Wider hips than an f1 car -You look like Stevie Nicks fucked the Pillsbury dough boy -"F1 fan ! A rare and elusive trait in girls ! Love it ! Just for that, I can’t even think of roasting !" -Average Lavigne -Stevie Nicks’ illegitimate child she had with Andre the Giant. -"Oh cool, you dressed up as Alonso‘s car for Halloween" -"Nope. Not roasting proper gals. - -I wouldn’t dare." -How you managed to look like a more busted version of Amanda Bynes in 2013 is beyond me -Merc should put u in Russels car for SPA so he could pass FIA weight limit by ton -That depressed face tells me that ur a fan of the monagasque. Ngl even Alex Albon is better than ur guy -How do you suck the life out of all your photos ? -I bet you are British! -If Billie Eilish and Amy Schumer had a stillbirth -"Okay I see this said a lot as a joke, but I’m being 100% serious. If you didn’t have huge flappy bird ass tits, I most deff would have thought you were a dude. Like it’s shocking how manly some women can look. Yeesh" -THIS IS A WARNING TO EVERYONE. DON'T LOOK AT THE 4TH PICTURE! -Its a filled water balloon -You look like you smell like an onion patch. -"When you say ""bird owner"" you mean ""bucket of KFC owner, at all times"" right?" -"pls dont smile, youre scaring the children" -I didn't know Shrek had a sister! -"Lemme guess. The bird is chicken, and you're eating it." -The mirror photo shows everyone that your the CEO of the don’t let this happen to you club. -26? I’m gonna blush you’re making me feel like I look so young -"Please don't have an OF -Please dont have an OF -PLEASE DONT HAVE AN OF" -You look like you puke on the first date. -I remember you from wrestling: Yokozuna! -You look like you have plates with dried ketchup on them next to your bed. -Buying a pet bird doesn't make up for the lack of personality/hobbies you have. Spread your own wings and stop relying on other things to make yourself seem interesting. Ex trainee?? Irrelevant then. -It smells like cigarettes all of a sudden -"You look like you’re auditioning for ""40-Year-Old Virgin: The Prequel"". it's impressive how you’ve managed to age yourself into that role so perfectly." -Sadly couldn't even be a ring rat. -"what was harder, getting over in the indies, or getting over the top rope?" -Only thing you’ve wrestled is a king sized mixed kebab! -That nail in the verification pic is the personification of your father.. -You have the body of Bridget from trolls -"Ah, I see you dressed as an orca for Halloween in pic 4." -All that time practicing how to be amazing at blow jobs and you still can’t get a guy to stick around for more than 3 seconds. -Ex wrestler trainee? The only thing it looks like you've been wrestling is a truck load of Cheetos and fudge -I smell clove cigarettes and despair -Look exactly like what I imagine a redditor would look -Rogue from X-Men has really let herself go. -You still have a Pastor Maldonado poster in your bedroom you kiss every night. -When your romantic 🥰 interest comes home with you and texts their friend that they met this a beautiful 😍 chick it’s never you it’s always about your bird. -You look like you auditioned for Ice Road Truckers and didn't make the cut. -She finger banged herself so hard she lost a nail. -When you send people your pic and they open it on their computer 💻 they become F1 fans too because they are asking windows for help to make your face go away. -"The 'bird' is a 12"" mandingo in her bedroom drawer!" -Go to that bathroom behind you... Look in the mirror and ask yourself.. What would Richard Hammond do with me? Then do the obvious and flush yourself down the toilet. -Do you DoorDash Denny’s to the trailer park because you lost your license in a DUI? -What is a trainee wrestler exactly? Is that your excuse for not giving a fuck about your body? -Does that hair cut come with two mixed kids? -Dollar Store Billie Eyelash -I'm guessing you meant pig wrestling -Ex trainee wrestler? I bet Vince McMahon wouldn’t even shit on that face. -I'd still hit it.. with a hammer -Rough night? Every night? I look younger than you and I'm in my 40s. -You look like the daugther of marvels Rogue qnd Juggernaught -you look like off brand Meg from Family guy -"For you, Thanos had to snap twice." -Apple in mouth roasted!!! -You look like you have Jack Skellington tattoos. -Imma say you look as emotionally stable as a 200 year old wooden bridge after ww2 -26? -She looks like Sam kennison -"You know, its okay to take more than 0.7 seconds to apply that dollarstore makeup to your eyes, love ❤️" -Looks like the only thing you wrestle with is the wrapper on a double quarter pounder -Dee becomes a fart bird *da dada da da daaa daa daaa daaaa* -The definition of a slag. I’m from America but I’ll be damned if I’ve ever seen a slag more saggy than this. -Is this the baby reindeer lady? -Get back in the bird cage please -"You could be really pretty, if everything is different about you." -72 pints -We'll ignore the missing nail and missing personality. -"If you want disappointment, keep scrolling right." -No way your cleavage looks like that... NO WAY! Were you in an accident? -Your resume perfectly qualifies you for unemployment. -"The look that just says ""Awww...fuck my life""" -"What was your wrestling gimmick, earthquake the lessor?" -When Rogue starts eating her feelings because she craves physical touch. -Opposite of gender goals -You look like if Avril Lavinge that came from wish and an alcoholic/druggie had a child together. -"Dial back the dull girl, you might actually make some of these redditors go to sleep instead of roasting each other" -Fat Dee Desperately Tries to Get Attention -The only role you could get in F1 is as ballast for the cars. -You look like the wish.com version of the big show with a wig in pic 4. Except his tits were perkier. -You look like you masterbate to Charles Leclerc's sad piano music. -She's taken more shots to the face than Glass Joe. -Could other customers hear the screams of agony coming from that outfit when you squeezed it on in the dressing room? -Sumo wrestling? -"Oh good, a reason to turn down the brightness on my screen." -You built like a Bergen -This closing time beast prowls at pubs for the drunkest of blokes. -Rips bong hits while getting it from behind -Now I know why the buffet at Golden Corral has no food !! -Seems like you been wrestling with obesity and lost bad. -100% you’ve already drained the balls of the rest of the roadwork crew. -26?? I don't believe you. -If miss piggy was a person -Them tiddies look like pancakes if someone knocked the pan off the stove. -Must have been the heavyweight division. -$1 Dollar store Amy Schumer wanna be -This post reminds me I need to go buy a sack of potatoes. -Chris Farley Quinn -This that 2am “I’m going home with someone” special. -You look like a dill pickle under the seed -OY YOU GUUUUUUYYYYYYYYSS!!! -Press a spoon against the seam of that jumpsuit and it'll pop open like a can o' biscuits. Complete with the same smell. -Sumo? -You have been blessed by God to have such incredible sumo wrestlers hips! If your day job doesn’t work out! You can always be linebacker for pro football! -You got mick foleys body -Pic 4 is Princess Glitter Sparkles goth phase -You look like the type of person who goes out and buys a bunch of rubber ducks to put on the dash of your own Jeep Compass. -They play the video of you in your Elvira costume at fertility clinics to show barren women that it could always be worse -I bet your type is “breathing” -Well at least you’re not a Verstappen Shagger. Hopefully that’s Aston Martin for Alonso. But something tells me you like the window licker. -You legitimately look like you’d be really nice. -If Lindsay Lohan was addicted to whoppers instead of cocaine -You look like a bird owner because they have no way of running away from you. -"A clean, wholesome young lady. I'm happy for you. Please upvote and reverse roast her -- power to the people!!!" -That top rope can’t take much more. -"Sup, bro?" -"""You can put lipstick on a pig, but it still is a pig."" - - -The fourth picture really shows it." -You look like your 2nd vehicle is a city bus. -You look like a hot topic threw up in a hefty bag -Pic 4 wasn't necessary. I will have nightmares today. -Hog wrestling is still around? -"You seem like the type that chases 6s-10s when your reach is 1s-5s. - -""Where did all the good men go?"" Home with someone else." -F1 meaning fuck just 1. That is the goal. -Wait what happen. The evolution went to shit. -Couldn’t make it to the verification pic after that bathroom mirror selfie -Who parted those titties? Moses? -You got Thomas the train face -Why does every lesbian pretend to like F1 -26 years old and only 2.6cm of separation from your nipples to your belly button. -Has all guy friends ‘less drama’ she loves to say. Banged half of them. -I bet when you unzip that pantsuit it's like cutting into a bag of pink fiberglass insulation -The Big Bang Whorey -"Idk why but your 4th pic reminds me of Dr Eggman from Sonic. Except, like, a sad Dr Eggman that only eats slightly expired ramen and jerks off to bad anime porn" -Your face is has had more dudes sweat on it than a wrestling mat -"Occasionally missing a nail, but never missing a free meal." -You look like guys politely ask you to just stop giving them head. -I guess wrestling was the only place men would get physically sweaty and handle you without being paid. -You look like a bin bag full of potatoes in the black outfit. -I didn't know meatloaf had a kid. -The eye makeup is taking “sisters not twins” way too far -"""F1 Fan"" -How many seasons of drive to survive did it take till you started giving a shit?" -Normally I’d say why the long face today I’m asking why the long tits -"Floats like a rock, and stings like a bread loaf." -You look like a avocado had sex with a older avocado like they were hate f*cking each other -"I'd smash. - -I have a thing for drunk oinkers with saggy tits." -"What was your wrestling name, Becky Lunch?" -Chris Griffin looking -I’d fuck you if you were breathing -Them titties trying to head south for the winter but your gravitational pull won’t let them -The only thing I see you wrestling is the waistband of your jeans. -You look like the kind of person that regularly goes to bed without showering -Spit Or Swallow ? -You look like the girl I would bang while I find a girl that's wife material to come along. -When it's last call at the bar and you haven't boned in over a year. Yeah fuck it she'll do. -What would happen of Amy Schumer could was even uglier -"Hold up. Bird owner is a privilege. Makes everyone cooler, and more interesting - except you." -Kermit the Frog wouldn’t even fuck you -Ignore the missing nail? IGNORE it?? I’ll never forget it. -There is a tick in your nosepit. -You look a mess. Dye your hair a single color. -You wrestled? Wrestled what? Diabeetus? Gravity? Or acne? -"Missing nail? I thought you had a giant booger on your finger. - -You look the ""always a bridesmaid never a bride"" type - -But you dont have any friends that want you in their wedding" -Wrestling for food -Ew -Can’t get past the bird owner. Birds fucking suck. -"Just because you can fit in the spandex, doesn’t mean you SHOULD fit in the spandex." -I don't think I have ever seen a more average face. -lady glitter sparkles -I wish I had 236 lbs. of Vantablack paint right now. -"This is why I don’t take women home from bar.. one minute they’re a “meh” and as soon as you get them home they’ll make your dick look like turtle hiding in its shell, refusing to come out." -I feel bad for the bird that it's the only pecker you'll ever get. -"Surprising lack of dude jokes on here. - -I had expected more considering trainee wrestler would be so easy to turn into Tranee wrestler" -Those pics in order went down faster than crack whore at a ball sack convention -Like if Ginger Spice let herself go after the group disbanded -"Your profile says F1 fan, but those tits are definitely NASCAR." -Let's see the yur bird -"Do your tits hang low, do they wobble to and fro… I know you can tie em in a knot, and in a bow 🎀" -"By ex wrestler, I assume you mean ex sumo wrestler." -Ms. Pig at her 20’s -Hillbillie Eilish -When a 3 is convinced they’re a 9 -Really shouldn’t be a problem ignoring everything about you -When you order Rogue from X-Men from temu -Average looking for a spice/ heroin addict from Swansea. -Chav. -Drinking that wine won't quench the online thirst you're clearly looking for -"Methany is trying to get her life together. Leave her alone, guys." -comment -"If “Single mom, 34, my 3 angels come first” had a face." -Let me guess missionary position only -Ready for what... Menopause? -Russian nesting dolls of makeup. -"There once was a girl called Hillary, -Her habits got her sent to the Pillory. -She thought she was hot, -Most likely a thot. -And her breath smelled like a distillery." -"Suprised Sherman Williams hasn’t contacted you yet, they may want to duplicate whatever color you paint your face with." -"Ready for what? Another guy to cum inside you because ""you're too pretty to pull out""??" -"Somehow I think thats as excited you ever get, still no orgasm at 40." -Guess the OnlyFAN page didn't work out? -Do you donate your eyelashes to a spider sanctuary when you're done with them? -She is getting ready to release her balloon knot pics on OF -"here we go, yet another failed white OF aspirant desperately looking for third world incels to earn from" -"if the escort service sent this to my hotel room, I would refuse to answer the door, and report my card stolen" -Even your dildo needs viagra -Jesus lover who believes strongly in the poop hole loophole. -Do you apply coverup with a paint roller? Or does that take too long and you just dip your face in paint tray? -You look like you are recovering well since your stroke -Yet another Dollar Tree insta model -You know what they say about women who wear too much makeup.. they're fuckin' ugly. -Was this taken before or after your OnlyFans Interracial Gang Bang? -Your cumbrella eyelashes prove you are ready for it -“I’m ready for it. “ is that what you say to johns? -When you order your face from wish.com -I bet he forgot to leave the money on the dresser again didn't he? 😳 -"You are trying really hard to look like you are enjoying this. But don't worry, the $1000 to $5000 a day will be worth it." -Congrats on your transition from woman to hotdog. -You look like your favorite couch is the casting couch -"This girl is so plain her sweater, makeup, pillows, teeth, and walls are all the same color." -"You bought a *""This Smells Like My Vagina""* candle from Gwenyth Paltrow's website and being the two-bit entrepreneur that you are, put out your own candle and called it, *""This Smells Like My Butthole"".*" -"Fire your makeup artist old lady, your forehead has more wrinkles than your hoodie." -You look like you need to hear this. It’s an STD not a UTI. -"Empty, vaccuous eyes like you don't understand what anyone else is talking about so you smile pretty and hope they'll feed you then it's on to the next party / date tomorrow with someone different." -Did you learn makeup at a mortician school? -"Such an arrogant face, even smiling hurts you cause you're too good for that right? Smiling at the camera is for those other girls." -Kathy Lee Gifford. Did you have a little nip and tuck again? Hell your belly button must be up around your chin by now -Background porn actor -"1st pic: ""Maybe he won't beat me for this..."" - -2nd pic: ""Nah, I'm pretty sure he won't this time.""" -I reckon your orgasms are as fake as that smile -"What a coincidence, I just made the same face" -🤡🤡🤡 -"Looking at your surroundings, you're perfectly ready for it." -"Forget hawk tuah, you are eww jeez girl" -Looks like you're gonna melt when put under direct sunlight. -Do you apply your makeup with a spackle gun? -The tension from your forehead from all those injections is the only thing holding up those ridiculous eyelashes. -"Congratulations, now even more strangers have been exposed to your bedroom" -"You're already sitting on the bed with the curtains closed and your title is ""Ready for it"". How many guys have heard that line before you steal their wallet?" -You look like a Gatineau Cougar...are you 20 or 48? -"The only thing faker than them eyelashes is that smile. I'm guessing you haven't felt true happiness, since that day Daddy went for a pack of smokes, and he didn't even smoke." -"You know she has at least 2 Live, Laugh, Love signs in the house" -"I googled your company ""Trichedia"" and Google search asked me if I meant to search ""trashedia"" - -I can't even claim that joke, Google did it. - -What's more I can't even tell what product or service you're offering, because that search just brings up your reddit page as the search results. - -Best of luck with your business that doesn't seem to exist." -when you buy an Amazon refurbished white lady at a great discount but are still somewhat disappointed -Seems like a Volkswagen driver who gets mad at you for her shitty driving -You look like your skin is made out of matzoh meal. -She's ready for it. Translation. The valtrex is working and the blisters have subsided. -"Foundation on your face is thicker than my house's. ""I'm ready for it"" sounds like something you said a lot in the football locker room." -She quit after the first shoot because the male talent was disrespectful and it “wasn’t for her” -You know how you can tell your life sucks? When Reddit users don't even bother roasting you! -Tonight on “ when plastic surgery goes wrong”…… -Not with the ten pounds of makeup and sweater you aren’t… -How did you get your arms out of the straitjacket to take that selfie? -Low budget Bindi Irwin -Walmart soap opera gilf -"You never went to college -And if you did then that’s all what wrong with our education system" -You look like you are twelve and thirty at the same time -Still single? Even Hellen Keller can see that -I’m not sure what’s faker! My mother in law telling me that she has always liked me or your whole life -Where is the Live laugh love sign? -Ready to have your husband cheat on you with the babysitter? -"I’d say dial it down with the makeup but clearly—judging by your slightly off set smile, and overall uncomfortable demeanor—you’re wearing a mask for a very good reason." -You realize you need to attract dorks with money to make an onlyfans work. You arent gonna get rich in an Applebees parking lot. -There is a deep sadness in your eyes -You smile like your partner just told you he wants to ride unicycles professionally -Congrats on finding lighting that made you look slightly less ready to vomit. -You missed a spot with that Botox -A face that says “wild night means two glasses of moscato and missionary with the lights off.” -Split roast 😈 -You look like the woman from the bee movie. -You can smell the box wine when you look at the picture. -Pretty face..Nice body..Blown out Starfish!! -wannabe Asian -You look like a wax statue that was placed beside a fire for one too many seconds. -"If ""Pick Me"" was a picture" -18 or 30? -"""I'm ready for it""—that's what you write on dating apps, but no one wants to swipe right when they see that face." -You’re looking a little peaked from all that induced vomiting -You probably waxed your bush into a rhombus or parallelogram.  -"If you 50 at 24, I can’t imagine how old you are going to look at 50." -Sum Dum Phuck -Slow day of work on the street corner? -"""I'm ready for it"" is also gonna be your tagine during your eventual smut career on OnlyFans" -"Look like a TV weather forecaster....but the TV gets awful reception and you broadcast from your basement, surrounded by salt because that is all you know to season your food with." -You want to be roasted so you post one picture and no bio. Do you really want to be roasted or do you just constantly need attention because you're self-esteem is so low -You look like you enjoy eatting  carrots and sugar cubes out of people's palms. -You need to have joint social media accounts with your BF….. -If I passed you on the streets while you were standing next to a lamppost I would be admiring the lamppost. -"You look like someone is telling you a story, but you can only understand every second word but are getting ready to tell them.. they are wrong." -"Holy fuck - -How much makeup do you need?!" -You look like someone who keeps a toaster by the bathtub… for your kids. -"""I'm ready for it"" is exactly what you said after he handed you the 50 bucks" -Stay out of the fucking sun. I hate the smell of burnt plastic. -This photo of you reeks of pumpkin spice latte -Nice try hiding that thing on your mouth. Makes me wonder what’s under all that makeup -You look like you shop exclusively at Forever 21 when you should be shopping at Actually 47. -Sponsored by Box wine Xanax and vaping so original -You look like the p0rn version of that awkward girl (Lucy) that Raj wanted to date on Big Bang Theory -I’m surprised your name is not Hillareigh -You look like you buy bi-polar meds in bulk. -She pulled her son off the soccer team when the coach made him take a lap for crying for his mom. Her son is 17. -"You look like you had someone take this, spent an hour prepping, but then somehow still look surprised. That's impressive. Not as impressive as your gawdy fake lashes. Did you get those at Walmart on rollback?" -you have a make up that is 1 cm thick. might as well remove with a scraper -How many tires have you slashed? -You might want to pop that zit. And avoid the makeup for a few weeks. -Like a knock off version of a barbie doll from like Australia or some other loser country. -I'd give you the formula on how to calculate the chemical amount equal to moles....but you have a cheat sheet on your face. -"Your eyebrows much like your face don't seem to be 'wrong', but they feel 'wrong'." -"Are you now, or have you ever been a daytime talk show host?" -only does casting couch scenes if the furniture is name brand -Half of your weight is foundation. -You look like you’re gonna name your kid McKayden or something stupid like that. -A forehead *that* big and you still thought this was a good idea?!? -Resting Bitch Face incarnate -Is the wart the reason you wear so much make up? Or do you not have a personality and think make up fixes that too? -You look like the type of woman to give Bill Clinton head. -"You’ll probably filter these roasts so it doesn’t get too ugly, exactly like you heavily filtered your pics" -You can fly with those lashes -For some reason that smile just says crippling depression -You look like a young gay man’s first attempt at drag. -"If ""im not racist I have a black team man"" had a face" -Hide The Pain Harold: Female Version -"Ran through in high school, some school but no degree, is an assistant to a professional, 2 baby daddies, chooses the wrong men like its an Olympic sport, does crafts." -Ready for that hairline to keep receding. -You look like the daughter of a workaholic single father that tries to find her attention in other ways. Sorry to say but whatever you do won't make him love you. -Your lashes are struggling to lift up your personality -that smile tells me you are absolutely not ready for it. -"What's that?? -Find it yourself" -•The girl in school that was too hot for you. -Maybe the lashes wouldn’t be so bad if only she did one facial at a time. Instead of the whole dorm. -Those teeth have definitely scraped a lot of cock. -That makeup is putting in work -Kids with cancer have more enthusiasm in their smiles… -The alien chick from guardians of the Galaxy. Star-lord's sister. -yes hilary you ate -When an Asian gets too much botox. -"Ready for what, your fifth divorce" -"You look like a hard done by middle aged woman with a bad agenda due to your poor life choices, but that wine keeps flowing in your vicious cycle of what you call a life" -You had a bangs phase right? -Leatherface. -Never seen toilet throw up before -OP has two post trying to get people to follow her and instagram. You seem like the type who complains to her boyfriend about the guy “freind” who ghost you. -Does Australia have Invisalign? -I thought fake eyelashes help women to be prettier -You look like you wish you could start an OF but don't wanna disappoint your grandma. -Ready for the wax museum. What’s style of doing makeup is that “Plastic wrap”? Horrible. -Dodge Dart -Ready for what? Face dough competition? -You look like a model from Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. -"The ""Tammy Fay Baker"" starter kit looks good?" -Can’t figure out why she’s been divorced three times by 26. -"I don't know why this subreddit keeps randomly coming up on my feed, I hate it. She's super beautiful BTW." -You look like Ally lotti if she was raised in the suburbs -Do you always want to ask for the manager? -What are you hiding? Looks like you're wearing a wax mask. -Eyelids are buff from power lifting all those fake lashes. -Typical roll tide -"Ironic you sub to r/uglyduckling, considering you never left that phase." -Walmart Pokimane -Do you own a hairbrush? Bedhead-lookin’ ass. -You look like you should be helping someone find their size at Zumiez -"Ready to stay single? Oh who am I kidding, you’re used to that eh cat lady?" -Pancake level; Bisquik. -Your forehead has more wrinkles than Albert Einstein's brain! -I'll give you a dollar to go down to PetSmart and get a rat so it can gnaw that thing off your face. -No no no... Those veneers go on the BOTTOM teeth. -"I don’t think even an animal shelter would let you adopt anything, I get the feeling you snuggled to many animals to death as a child" -I can't tell if you're the world's youngest facelift recipient or you have no idea what age appropriate dress is -"By the looks of your hair, I assume your John must have just left." -"I hope you don’t live near a coast, we’re trying to keep trash OUT of the ocean. You look faker than a cardboard cutout of yourself." -Het head is bigger then her future -This is a seeking arrangements OG right here -Is your personality as vanilla as that hoodie? -Alive and embalmed -She's got more makeup caked on than Donald Trump. -Do you get your makeovers at the cheap autobody shop? -Contrary to the barbie song its not fantastic to look like plastic -You look like you just smelled a fart -Is menopause approaching? -"You have a resting ""I smell shit"" face." -From behind? -"I thought Lisa Kudrow was the ugly version of Lisa Kudrow. I'll give it to you, though, you doek proved me wrong" -Don’t catfish your Tinder matches. Make sure your profile pic is of the back of your head. -She’s ready to get beat up. Which by the looks seems normal. -You look like you go to fund raisers just to be railed in the disabled toilet. -This ‘Designing Women’ reboot is gonna suck -Post a pic without makeup then we can finish this. -Built like a 8th grade science/english teacher ugly ahh -Did you put in an entire face of makeup to be roasted? -Good effort hiding that massive zit on your forehead. -“There’s no good men.” -OP -"I’ll take, “things she’s said before to a group of complete strangers” for $500, please." -They always think they are ready for it. -Ariana mid. -Your eyebrows are so fake CNN won't report on them. -Front teeth are a good place to jump from to a pool -Go easy on her guys. The one thing she’s not ready for is tears. -That phone has lost track on the number of times you cried about your external image infront of it -You look like something you can find in the bargain bin at Gardner White -You look the stereotypical H.R. lady. -YOUR DOPPELGÄNGER IS KATHY LEE GIFFORD -The women on this sub recently 🙄 -Applied makeup with a drywall trowel -This is a ploy for OF huh... -Need to pause them oval lookin eyes -“I’m married to Jesus” -If a live laugh love sign was a person -Shall I call the manager now? Or later? -BANGBROS AUDITION …take 34….Anal gaping….and roll film -Why does the skin on your face look like it wants to detach itself and get as far away from your body as possible? Does a bad foundation do that? -Canadian🫵 -"If ""Get on your hands and knees and please Jesus, feel his warm salvation all over your face"" was a girl." -You have a shitty tattoo.  -Definitely got a hairy stinkstar -Nancy Pelosi gets Botox -"Mods, there needs to be a rule that the person being roasted be a real person and not a mannequin" -Makeup wears you. -Almost as whorish as a Fox News host. -If I ever met you I'd immediately believe I am in the Bad Place. -Still hoping to find the E-4 love of your life but won’t cheat on you? -Just start the OF page and be done with it already -I feel obligated to point out the five head as I don't see any comments mentioning it. -Botox is calling. You are a perfect client. -A.I has come along way.. she looks like a creepy robot -Need to contact the father… anyone got a ouiga board? -Title of your post was also your nickname in hs wasnt it -"Nothing to offer, looking for the perfect prince" -Please go to drugstore and buy styling products instead of spunk for styling -"Single mom, not looking for flings. 4 kiddos, none of the baby daddies are in the picture anymore." -"You're ready for the insults, but you were never ready for how bad that barber messed up" -"My immediate thought was ""no, I don't want to buy into your MLM.""" -Even the ai used to create you is disappointed with you. -such meaty fingers. I'm betting cankles already. -"Ready for....... -A man who actually makes you feel like a woman instead of the once a month if you're lucky pump dump and sleep? - -To feel alive again instead of trapped in an obligatory relationship with ""mommydom"" where all of your time and emotion is sucked up by the monotony of ""Just letting life go by""? - -To wake up and feel human again? - -What are you ready for?" -Your face is pastier than your sweatshirt. -Have two rolls of paper towels for the make Jesus fuck cake -Looking like a single mom on a sunday -Left eye raised like your taking it in the back door -"The look on your face says you didn't know what you were getting into when you told those 3 strangers ""I'm ready for it""" -I’m going to poke your mole with a fucking stick -Those are drag show- level eyelashes. The wind generated by her blinking is what finally got Odysseus home. -Yea you look like a poorly drawn peacock if it came to life -Which shitty chain restaurant do you bartend at? -I hope those teeth don't get in the way of our union. -From 2/10 when showing teeth when smiling to 3/10 when not showing teeth -Someone told you that you have a good side… you don’t. -If unenthusiastic blowjobs were a poster child…. -Man look at those chiclet teeth -A face only a cock could love -"Blah, blah, blah, yodda, yodda." -Someone ought to take a lawnmower to your eyelashes. -"I bet you say that at all of your ""casting calls.""" -You look like a fluffer on All My Children soap opera. -"She has a prosthetic ear. - -I know this chick from vocational school." -The only thing ue ready for is running another red light -Your too cute.....just don't even do it -Oatmeal … the color of my pullover and the flavor of my life. -I6 and pregnant was good tv. Too bad you kept aging and kept getting pregnant. -You're trying too hard. No wonder your hinge matches all put you on the bench. -"Shouldn't have friend zoned that guy 10 years ago, now you know what it feels like when your 4 cats do it" -She's ready for that extra 'There's Something Thing About Mary' hair gel... -Nancy Pelosi’s doppelgänger -"If “badass momma, follower of Christ. Link in bio” was a person" -"The only thing she’s ready for is the train to get ran on, she wants to play baby daddy roulette. " -You're not worth roasting ahhh 😆 -Did you use yogurt for makeup? -Resting corpse face -You single? Jk we know you’re single “the patriarchy is oppressive” -How often do people mistake you for being awkward when that's just your face? -My chirdren come first kind of face -"Somebody is constantly on her knees>!, for jesus!<" -"OP’s bio - -- Mum of 3 - -- Virgin - -- Lesbian - -- Open to meet new guys they should love my kids" -Would not bang. -Only fans with no fans! -Last time I saw a foundation that thick it was poured cement. -You look AI generated. -The first time i've ever seen an overdose on botox! -About to be on LonelyFans -"“ this is the best way to get in contact with me *onlyfans link* I’m in the 2 percentile ! -I bet she has a shitty flower somewhere tattooed on her" -You look like you’ve based an entire personality solely on liking pumpkin spice. -Are the front teeth implants or dentures? If dentures do they come out? Asking for a friend. -Doing your lashes and makeup for a Reddit post is roast enough. Look like the type of girl to run a free OF -Walmart shopping aisle influencer …. -You look like a cross between Cid the sloth and a chinchilla -"""SAHBM to Konner, Ralfee, Ghunner and Anthoknee. Divorced twice i aint need no man." -Fake Ariana Grande -"You told your boyfriend you were ready for it but when he tried to give you a facial, you freaked out." -"Jayden, Brayden, and Cayden" -She can't go out side in the rain. -"Constantly looking for validation through reddit subs is not healthy for you. - -This sub, of course, is ok - but not every other one that will give you an opinion." -Enough foundation to build a house. -You look like you've definitely keyed a few ex boyfriends cars... -80s called.....( Fill in litterally anything) -Looks like you're wearing a mask. A mask of someone who was stung by a bunch of bees and was highly allergic. -How are all your teeth your 2 front teeth? -comment -You look like the cousin no one in the family is allowed to be alone with. -If gas station dick pills had an avatar -You were definitely the kid who took those bites out of foam footballs -You look like you know the age of consent in all 50 states. -You look like the guy who brags about *all dat 16 year old pussaaaay he gettin*. -How’s your boyfriend Tiger king doing. -A ferret wished to be a real boy -"You like a like a guy who openly hates gay people, but also doesn't think it's gay to get a bj from another guy as long as there isn't eye contact." -Never smiles; meth has already taken all the teeth the inbreeding left. -Squirt Gun Kelly -You make me think of an old cum sock. -You look like you did 23andMe and turns out you're 93% Floridian. -You look like you refer to yourself as ‘the alpha’ -I bet you sell all sorts of drugs from your trailer -Florida Georgia line of meth -You look like you need to be at least 100 yards away from every school and park. -The King of the local Walmart -Shouldn't you be out giving someone the clap? -Sorry to say getting fisted by kid rock is not an appropriate make a wish. Good luck with whatevers causing that though -You look like the definition of white thrash  -Definitely a bed wetter right into his late teens. -Thats rich coming from a guy who’s neck looks like the shaft of a dick and his chin is grooved out for ball placement -"You look like you ride a bike around town and exclusively ""date"" middle schoolers." -"You look like Hugh Jackman's autistic deep-south inbred cousin, Ball Sackman" -You look like you've lost multiple friends because you've casually mentioned that you wish the age of consent was lower. -Show us your teeth you hillbilly meth head -"Looking for a cool chick that ain’t afraid to get her hands dirty. - -Likes: Rollin coal in my jacked up truck, UFC, Redbull, liberal tears and MAGA - -Dislikes: girls with an education, blacks (but I do a have black friend, he ain’t black black you know what I mean), Jews, the woke agenda, queers and bottled water." -You are the reason everyone has to show ID to buy Sudafed. -My girl is 17 but shell be 18 in october -"You look like you use the hard R. -You look like the kind of guy who bartenders have to keep an eye on. -If syphilis, gonorrhea and incest had PR guys, they'd all be You. -You look like the kind of guy who says ""I don't care if you're gay, just don't try anything on me"" but also pays to get plowed behind the tobacco shop. -You look like you vote red because blue has too many letters. -You look like you take your 17 year old girlfriend to taco bell but she pays for it." -I bet you ride around a the neighbourhood on some 9 year olds stolen bike thinking you're the shit -You look like you owe 12 people $5 -I'd really like my catalytic converter back. -Human Jar Jar Binx who trains for the Octagon. -He looks like the kind of guy whose phone is full of selfies. Six selfies for RoastMe alone… -"king of the trailer park looking ass. -You look like you're the lightweight champion of the single wide fighting championships lol" -The poster child for the “Make America Gay Again” slogan. -You look like “but what about white lives?!?” -Secretly likes it in the ass 100% -This is the guy that gets overly expressive with his masculinity around a girl when there's other guys around. then later on gossips with the girls like a bitch anyways -You definitely have deleted the grinder app multiple times - Now I finally have a picture to go with the word trailer trash -"Your greazy arm-pit hair stalactites are going to leave serious mineral deposits on your poor cars interior. - -Try wearing a real shirt you didn't find in the bar parking lot to cover your cave-pits up." -What pencil size did you use to draw that moustache? -You look like a wannabe white boi rapper. -"""Brokeback Mountain II - I still cain't quit you!""" -You look like what appears when you pack a lip and say “white lives matter” 3 times in a gas station bathroom mirror -"We’ve had Dukes of Hazzard, now meet the Hazzard of Dukes." -Whack Miller -You look like the definition of homophobia -"I've seen strawberry jello that's harder than you. - -You look like you rob sperm banks. - -""I only do meth in social settings.""" -Straight out of a Grindr profile. -The kind of guy that can’t wait to get out of his momma’s trailer to take a picture of himself. Body by crystal meth. Residence by Clayton mobile homes. -Tough intro for a guy that can only afford Russian Batman boxer knock offs. -"Bro is so insecure, he had AI flex for him" -You're behind every grindr profile with no pic -"Verification pic says “Go Hard.” You say that to all your tops, don’t you?" -If the words *total douche fuck* was a person -Oh look it’s Dallas Buyers Club Wolverine how’s that glory hole treating you? -That poor bat -You look like you hang around public bathrooms to make sure trans people aren’t using the wrong one. -"You started in gay porn for the money, but stayed for the fun" -Smile so we can see that sweet Mountain Dew meth mouth. -"No witty comment, you just look like you reek" -That is the one pair of underwear you have that doesn’t have an extra hole in it. And yet somehow you still managed to get a skid mark on the front of it. -Dude looks like his parents met at a family reunion. -"Justin Timberlake's alter ego, Dustin Jumblesale" -I think I saw you during the Jan 6 insurrection. The Batman underwear is a dead giveaway. Probably wear pants next time I guess. Your mommy chose well though. They make you look like a big boy. -Hillbilly AI Low Energy -You look like you’ve been thrown out of a monster truck rally for masturbating too loud. -Did mommy lay your Batman undies out for you -What part of Florida are you from? -"Looks like a guy whose work resume will never include anything more than ""general labor""" -You look like you know exactly what I'm talking about when I say you've stood in a circle of men who punched you while you listed breakfast cereals. -You look like you spawned fully developed in a gas station -"You used to drink Bud light proudly and don’t anymore, right?" -"26/m/Kansas. Wife beating, trailer park don Juan, 86' Firebird, lifetime registrant, and bathtub meth." -How are you both the before and after pictures of meth? -"If Trump asked you to blow him, you’d gargle a whole bottle of Listerine to prepare and then jerk off five times to make sure you didn’t cream yourself while he was in your mouth." -Thanks for posting the pics you send to 14 year olds. It’s always nice to get a preview of the person that Chris Hanson will be having a sit down with. -"First pic is the last thing your girlfriend sees before she wakes up in the hospital after ""falling down the stairs"" again" -Definitely has done gay stuff for drugs -"I bet you smell like Salvation Army fake Carhartt, chode cheese and natty light piss. - -This isn’t a roast. Just an astute observation. - -And my neck is definitely pecker sized." -"You have one of the darkest super villain backstories; the one who was conceived after one, of many partners, landed a highly accurate cumshot onto an unexpecting a line of meth that mommy happened to snort up during a lull in the trailer park gang bang" -You look like you plateaued at 19 when you were promoted to bar back from bus boy and have been doing that ever since. -You asked your sister to the prom and she said no? Also pull ur pants up I can nearly see ur cooch -I was going to say you look like a toolbag that would get tribal tattoos but I just proved myself right on pic 4. -Looks like your blood type is mountain dew -"Hide your kids, hide your wife... hide the dog... hide most livestock and farm animals..." -That wordy tattoo on his ribs is a cheat sheet for the gay hanky code. -Whiter than a white guy named hunter with a tramp stamp tattoo of Bernie Sanders snowboarding into a Coldplay concert wearing cargo shorts holding a cage free locally sourced conflict free iced matcha. -"I swear snowflake is just a code word for conservative men to meet up on Grindr.. it certainly is in your case, no way is that pic not getting circulated on there lol" -The power ranger that is white -I don't know what to say but you look like a 20 year old virgin that works at a garage -You’re not supposed to speed run to a trailer park -You know the age of consent in all 50 US states. -Drywall is not safe around this fella. -You look like you use the shirtless pic of yourself to jack off -"Pencil neck, chewed eraser head, lost in the couch cushions, coated with lint, cat hair, moldy chips, and general ick. A girl needs a full hazmat suit to get within 1,000 yard of you." -"At 27, I was getting married. You’re still wearing Batman underoos" -"You look like you cruise the middle school for dates. - -Your picture is on the wall of every pharmacy in a forty-mile radius with the caption: ""Do NOT sell Sudafed to this man!"" - -Your 23 and Me profile results include: Floridian, Taino, and Yeti. - -Your family tree has six grandparents and three great-grandparents. One person appears on both levels. - -Your rap sheet reads like a Pokedex of misdemeanors--only two more and you'll catch 'em all! - -Your collection of trucker caps and wifebeater shirts were confiscated by the Cliche Police. - -Your first probation officer was treated for chemical burns to his eyes. He tried to bleach them after reading your court records. - -You have a reserved bed in your local drunk tank. - -You have been banned from a half-dozen titty bars for tipping counterfeit singles. - -You're on a CDC watch list as a potential ""patient zero"" for STI variants. - -You have a full punch card from the Health Department--your next gonorrhea treatment is free!" -Waits til the extasy kicks in to suck the guys dick and blame it on the drugs. Hey bro that was crazy the other night. I don't remember anything! Keeps a lock of the dudes pubic hair in a dukes of hazard lunch box. -"Looks like he has ""no ragrets""!" -Are you sure about this? You can only tell people your girlfriend fell down the stairs so many times before people realize your trailer doesn't even have stairs. -"Trailer living, meth loving, sister kissing, no exhaust in your squatted pos truck, thief and all the cops know your name. Gets locked up and when he enters all the other fuck ups are like, ‘Hey, Curtis! You ol possum eatin sumbitch! How you been?!’" -Anyone getting felon vibes too? -If Natty Ice were a person. -Dollar Store Kid Rock is in the house! -Joe Dirtier -Peaked in High School. No college. Dead end jobs and family disappointment from here on out. -You look like kid rock and vanilla ice had a baby and that baby had another baby with it’s baby sister and made you. -So how many congressmen did you let bang you this past week? -You’re as sophisticated as a dirt sandwich 🥪 -Trailer park eminem -Gettin some Brokeback Mountain vibes. -You think Trump is God's messenger... -"I bet this manlett is 5'6""" -The only thing those fists have caught is drywall. -You're definitely the cause of an STD epidemic among farm animals in your area. -know for asking ‘who wants to play doctor?!?’ at family reunions. -"I've said it before and I'll say it again, home schooling should be prohibited." -"Having glasses upside down on his hat is a clue that this person has a brain smoother than the finest Egyptian silk, vocabulary of a village idiot, the batman fetishism is an indicator your idea of excitement is having a family gang bang so the government keeps shitting out money and food stamps to support some poor genetic lottery dice roll babies who won't see a fraction of that money for appropriate size clothing because its going to fuel the families growing meth habit." -You look like Pete Davidson if is parents were related -You have real ‘I punch holes in the wall when I’m mildly unconvinced’ vibes. -"I bet your parents wish you were Batman. (So they would be dead and saved the embarrassment you cause them) - -Just because you smoke meth and then hang by your toes off your trailer doesn’t mean you are really Batman. - -You look like the kind of guy who tells girls they are “mature for their age”. - -I see why you hide your ears. They make you look like you build toys at the North Pole for a living. - -You cover your chin with facial hair to hide the fact that you had to have a Barbie/Ken doll’s midsection grafted on to your face after Uncle Billy Jack’s “camping trip”." -"Good thing he chose reddit for a roast, no one on earth could speak slowly enough for him to track it in person." -"You look like you did 3 months in county for breaking car windows now you walk around like a hard ass ex-con. - -Went “gay for the stay” and it stuck, now you can’t reconcile being gay and a tough guy at the same time. Life in Florida is hard." -"he was a sk8r boi she said see ya later boi. -Not a ounce of man in him lmao" -If Eminem was born in Alabama after 2 siblings found Ma & Paw's knock-off Jack Daniels. -"This dude got made fun of a LOT in high school, so hung out with middle schoolers, now looks for validation by hanging around teenagers and telling them about how cool he is. I bet he’s said “Age is just a number” more than once. Wears Tap Out or American Fighter clothes and talks about how everyone in the UFC is a pussy. Never invited to parties or even to hang out yet is somehow still there. Hides his childlike insecurities behind trying to act like he’s tough and thinks that everyone his own age, that has a career, home, and life outside of playing video games all day is a loser." -This isn’t the first time you’ve told a bunch of strangers to “go hard” on you. -"You look like you were concieved during a NASCAR event. - -You look like your parents definitely considered ESPN and Dale as your name at birth - -You look like a Bond henchman, if Bond suddenly had to fight global evil ....in Arkansas. - -You look like you choose ""Standard"" over ""Metric"" when you fix things....because 'Merica - -You look like you call the hedge line on your parents property ""The Wall"" - -You look like you pick up workers outside of a home Depot, just to deliver them to immigration, and laugh about it. - -You look like you call shaved pussy, ""tiled floor"" - -You look like you spend at least 20 minutes, trying to make sure that horrible goatee is the perfect ""W"", because you think it helps your favorite college sports team do better." -"Sweet trailer bro. I know you drive a POS 2WD truck with the front raised, yeet yeet" -"You have the facial hair of a man who hangs around schools to ""Pickup a sibling"" you date. And the girth of a half broken toothpick that's burnt." -You hate black people but desperately want to be one. Same with gays. -When the spit cup in your center console is the smartest dip in your car. -"Your motto is ""If her age is on the clock, she's old enough for cock.""" -You put “Go hard” on the sign in your pic. Your girl wishes you would go hard. -You look like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo if he took the phrase 'gateway drug' a little too literally and decided to explore every single one of them. -My gods…we’ve done it you guys. We’ve finally found the human epitome of ‘punched a hole in the wall in my mt.dew fueled ‘gamer rage’ and decided to frame it as *art*’. This is it. -I’d rather not roast a homeless meth addict. That just seems cruel -Looks like a few uncle brothers didn’t hold back on you -Freshly broke from spending $20K on an alpha male training camp. Still has no female friends. -You kiss you cousin/sister with them at mouth? -"you yell ""i know my rights!"" to cops" -Someone at Merriam Webster is adding “pecker neck” to the dictionary with your photo attached -That look of determination after you just fisted your own ass for a bag of meth is priceless. -"You've definitely called someone the ""F"" slur. - -And you've also definitely sucked dick for meth." -Family tree is a stump... -... Pecker neck? -"I stopped at ""no soft snowflake stuff"" and had already figured out you get no action past the family reunion but the pics just solidified the assessment." -You look like the guy who's only ever invited to parties cuz you bring beer -How many DUIs have you gotten on the way to the gym? -I think what you meant to say was “I want a pecker in my neck” -"Looking at you, it's like someone took a cartoon character and slapped them into real life, complete with the upside-down eyebrow as the cherry on top. With that wild red hair and freckles, you look like you’ve been rolling around in a field of rusty nails and came out thinking it was a good idea. And that eyebrow—it's like your face got so confused it decided to go rogue. You’re the only person I know who can look surprised, confused, and downright lost all at the same time!""" -Ug. Those fingernails. I thought you were the one getting fisted. -New marvel x men character weinerine -"Nothing to roast - Basic meth head." -All his cousins think he’s the best kisser -How many of your close friends have died from opiates? You’re like the face of “nah these are legit man trust me” -Dig the muscle shirts. Muscles coming in next week? -I can smell your Axe Body Spray straight through my phone. - You do actually look like a snowflake. -If chlamydia were a person -"Behold, Florida man!" -Roast you… how about we bathe you first? -Orlando Gloom. -Do you ever look at someone and just know they suck d$ck for a living ? -You look like a Ballchinian from Men in Black. -"Not allowed to have sex doggy style because you can’t turn your back on family. -The cousin at the reunion that looks for a date for afterwards -Has every line to Joe dirt memorized and treats it like it’s the Bible -Wishes your stepsister would give you another chance -Can’t grow a full beard so just lets it grow all white trashy like that -The definition of why they call it a tooth brush and not a teeth brush" -You look like a magician that turns Natty Lite into domestic violence charges. -Dude likes him some sister pussy -"Oh shit, that’s dude from Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Yep, pretty sure dudes name is Derek." -This dudes family tree doesn't have any branches. -Is that first pic your wifes point of view every monday night? -You look like you beat your girl after a hard day of unemployment! -You look like you have more of a connection with your sister than your facial hair does with itself. -Looks like he's banned from buying Sudafed in 6 counties -"Pecker neck? - -It’s either peckerhead or pencil neck. - -I hope you don’t jack off the way you insult: backwards with no pay off." -You look every fifteen year old girls “older boyfriend.” -Looking like you exclusively date 16-18 year olds -Cheddar Bob after Eminem got famous: -Didn’t I just see you buying cigarettes at the gas station? -"look out, it’s cousin Kyle!" -Your arm pits are Harryer than you head -Women cover their drinks when you walk by. -"What in the I took my sister to prom white hell.. are you even real, or just some shitty Ai picture of what white trash is supposed to look like? You matched with your cousin on grinder and still linked up didn't ya??? -You're spare parts bud. Sit down." -Like a modern day Huck Finn -"“Pecker neck”? -Did you learn that from Boss Hogg? That’s as country as going barefoot in overalls." -"How are you going to weigh 140 lbs, can't connect your beard to your mustache and call anyone a snowflake?" -"""Alright all you pecker neck SOB's... no soft snowflake stuff either.. don't hold back"" - - - -When your Grindr profile is so fire you have to use it as your roast title. " -Kyle the cousin fucker -your name is kyle or hunter -You look like you fly a giant flag off the back of a lifted chevy. You look like you idolize elon musk. -You look like what I imagine if a chin-strap could grow its own person. -I don’t want to roast you because you look like you’ll shoot up some poor innocent family if you get slightly upset -"We don't have to hold back, but you do. Otherwise your probation officer is gonna want to have a word." -You look like your one true love is your first cousin. -You look like Dale O'Neil from GTA V -Gotta love the luxurious ceiling of his double wide. No straight man would dare wear their facial hair like that either. So how much you charging for a blowjob at the trailer park? -Are these your Grindr or farmersonly.com profile pics? I’m not sure how to direct my malice -Shit is that Dylan Mulvany?! -Inbred Justin Timberlake -You look like your boyfriend is Justin Timberlake -“Go hard!” Is that what you tell your cousin at your family gatherings? -Didn't your parole officer specify that you weren't to have any social media accounts?? -They made a SPLIT sequel!? -You downloaded Ancestry thinking it’s a dating app for cousins -This man’s so far in the closet he helped Aslan save Narnia. -"You look like you have a ""Only God Can Judge Me"" tattoo" -This guy exclusively dates high school sophomores -"Drives a 2009 Silverado with a 6"" lift, stack pipes, and bald all terrain tires. Gets tattoos from ""a guy he knows"" in some shady house. Also has a fridge full of Coors Light or Busch Lite and his version of fun as an adult is getting hammered every weekend and hitting on the youngest girls he finds." -Congrats on winning douche of the year. You deserved it. -You have paid a dude to eat a snickers bar so you can eat the peanuts out of his shit. -Dude tells people he is a salesman at a multimillion dollar company. Dollar General Cashier is the job. -"4 kids/ 4 different women, beat 3 of them, 1 you still hang around and you pay $0 in child support." -27 and still wearing your class ring because that’s when you peaked. But you probably won’t see this comment because you got tired of reading. -If the Klan had a fraternity. Kappa Kappa Kappa -You look like the guy at every party who starts drunk fights and gets knocked out immediately. -I will describe you as a gay twink redneck with addiction to first fucking -"Which gas station chain do you think you'll end up spending the majority of your ""career"" at? Either as a cashier or a professional loiterer." -Quit patrolling high schools for dates. -You 100% peaked in high school and it shows -Your meth pipe is calling for you -"You're like a thouroughbred horse, and by that I mean your parents must be related." -Hey - it's Feminem -Is that the fist you bang your dad with? -Thanks for not showing your vagina in picture 4. It would have been more NSFW than it already is. -"What is the going rate for copper these days? - -I figured you would know." -You look like you’d call me a slur if I rejected you -Conveniently he lives 201 meters from the nearest elementary school. -Has your girlfriend asked you to her junior prom yet? -You fight at house parties 100% of the time -"One of my cousin's kids dropped out of school at 14 to go work in the farming fields of Indiana so he could ""buy a truck"", got a girl pregnant not quite a year later, had surgery at 20 to remove cancer from his gum due to using dip since he was 11, has a ""TSRA"" tattoo despite never having set foot south of the Mason-Dixon Line and actually likes Kid Rock's music. - -He still isn't as white trash as you." -i would not trust you with my drink for even a second -I wouldn't say redneck I'd say white trash -Dylan Mulvaney grows better facial hair. -I bet you have to blow on the interlock breathalyzer to start your vehicle -That beard makes you look like you can’t be within 5 miles of an elementary school -You look like I need to hide my tools when you show up to the job site. -You look like you were charged with stroking with the Intent to bust and the victim was your younger sister -"K-Fed, what happened to you?" -You drive a squatted Z71 and are constantly playing hide and seek with the repo truck. -Tiger King would have def had his way with you. -How many feet do you have to stay away from elementary schools? -Double wide or single??? -"On a scale of 1-100, how many words do you know" -Definitely hang out in front of liquor stores hoping to see kids who want someone to buy them beer. Then ask where they're going and if any babes will be there. -do you usually take man loads in your armpit? -American History X is your favorite film -"""go hard"" looks like a catch phrase you would have." -You look like an onion with ears! -You look like you walk around doing a fake Russian accent to seem cooler -Somewhere there is a sack not being hackied -Klu Klux Khlamydia -Temu version of James McAvoy. Google him yourself. I know you have no culture to know the name offhand anyways -You look like a top fighter in back yard brawls. -Looks like a bottom boy for Ryan upchurch -If Batman took his next Robin from a trailer park -Bargain basement Hugh Jackman over here -"stop holding in your tears, you are allowed to cry" -Shave the nut duster -Youre in yelawolf's crew -"Do u visit your dad in prison , the tiger king ?" -You look like you’re the right country song away from being in tears. -"“Meth soup, meth stew, meth salad, meth and potatoes,”" -comment -"""I make good bread"" = yeast infection" -Can bake everything except a high school diploma -The OP has provided BO for this post. -"# ""35f, no career prospects :'( "" - --corrected" -Pouring coffee into a cup is probably where you peak and it's all downhill from here. -Bread is the only thing you can make rise -"You look like you rebel against your comfortable life conditions preventing you from being a proper rebel. - -Also you don't need to draw extra attention to your nose. It's doing a fine job on its own." -"As much of a disappointment you are to your parents, at least you’re still young enough to disappoint them further." -"By baker, you meam putting the premade Starbucks croissants in the microwave?" -Your pronouns are gluten/free and you’re writing a poem called non-binary dairy -You’re 19? Fuck man. Bless whoever picks you as their life partner. -If roast beef curtains were a person. -Will you please put a hair net over your nose ring while you prepare my avocado toast? -Very proud service worker. During the height of COVID she was considered a hero. Today another pump and dump whore trying to make a quick buck. -The baked baker -"There once was a barista named Jay, - -Whose bread was as hard as a clay. - -Her coffee was weak, - -Her pastries all bleak, - -She should quit and just call it a day." -OnlyDryheaves -Why does everyone have the bull nose ring? I don't understand the appeal. It doesn't even look good. -If I cry in my car was a person. -Your hair looks like it repels water and soap. -"You’re only 19, you have lots of roasting ahead of you. Because you’ll be a barista forever." -"Vagisil. Deodorant. Soap. If you need to lay down or something after hearing those three words, it's understandable. Hygiene is like string theory for motherfucks that smoke their breakfast and look like their muff is going to talk about happy little trees." -The psycho is strong in this one it is -I can smell the BO and cats from this picture. -That nose ring probably thinks its a cock ring. -"You don’t bake good, you are baked all the time." -Tell me more about how you like to longboard and how much your bearded boyfriend likes IPA’s. -You make good bread and give bad head -"""and vegan, feminist, climate change activist, they/them""" -Thought you were 28. Yikes. -What’s the minimum nose piercings for female roasters? And are pockmarks a requirement? Asking for a friend. -Why do all the bitches that post on this look the same? -And OF link in 3….2…..1….. “oh hey guys cus you asked for it 🤭” -"We get it, you work two part time jobs." -Barista or Baker; with a face that got whipped up by the candle sticker maker... -You look like someone who would be baking sourdough down there. -"Man, us 90s babies are aging better than you 2000s kids. That’s a rough 19." -I’m going to assume you just smell like greasy hair -Last post before the meth addiction. -"That snot encrusted thing sticking out of your nose, is that so the farmer can get you back in your pen each night?" -The only thing needing more servicing is your nose… -Did your lashes find the safe space you didn't? -You look like you tell people why rocks have healing powers. -I bet your pants smell like sourdough. -"You look like you add a ""secret"" ingredient to customers who don't tip the $5 coffee you sell them." -"The closest you came to being a baker was having a bun in the oven at 14. And that was your brothers. - -I bet you smell more yeasty than the Marmite factory. In fact, 100% of people surveyed recently said they prefer Marmite over you… literally, ALL OVER YOU…" -">19f barista - -I know, the septum ring and tats already told me." -The hardware is annoying -Bet you can smell the difference between mildly baked and fully baked cookies -Take the nose ring out and do somthing with your life.. this is your dad -I can smell these photos -"Cows belong in the abattoir, not the bakery." -Just because you have a constant yeast infection doesn’t make you a baker. -It's a good thing you're back of the house. -Maybe you’re one of those girls with a really good personality -You look like the kind of chick that screams for feminism and equal rights but then gets supper pissy when a guy doesn't hold the door open for you. -"Oh boy, what planets are making you sad today" -You look like the type of person who bakes bread with their own yeast. -You look better without the makeup. -“I make good bread” = edibles dealer -Bakes good bread and gives good head -"I bet everything you bake is gluten free, and what you own is made from vegan leather... It's not even a roast, I'm just good at reading people 😂" -"You look at least 32, with a fatherless child" -"“I make good bread, Sour dough anyone?” A.k.a yeast infection" -Girl you make that Sour Hoe Bread -Constant yeast infections don't make you a baker -When you dress for Halloween as Amy Winehouse on Xanax. -You look like you have a lot of yeast to make that bread with. 😂 -You seem like the type of gal who would falsely accuse a man of SA if he broke your heart. -"Everyone likes a good cook or chef. You strike me as a bit of a free spirit which is cool. You are really pretty, and seem like you would be a lot of fun to be around. Boom, roasted" -I'll grab a magnet when I see u -I'm only here for the bread recipe. -You look like Billie Eilish's less popular sister. -The kind of girl that let's her tinder date nut in her because she's on birth control. -Do they even make hair nets for armpits? -"Vaginal Yeast Infections doesn't count as ""baking bread"". That's just gross." -You look like you've spent more time getting baked than actually baking anything. -Is your bread as basic as you are? -"Bitch, you call those bangs?!? Your feminist support group should be ashamed!" -I’m guessing you think your inability to commit to anything is “keeping your options open”. -This b¡tch spends half her shift in the storeroom putting an unfresh glaze on them thrusty baguettes! -That’ll be the only bun you’ll ever have in the oven -Sqwannnnkeeeeee sqwaaannnnkkkeeee. -Different hairstyle at all pictures and nowone looks good. -You look like you micro-dose chemicals from underneath the kitchen sink for fun. -Just because you put stuff in the toaster at Starbucks does not mean you bake. -You look like you make bad bread...... -Yeah you've got enough yeast for the entire bakery. Sick dude. -You look and smell like a person who does Vabbing -I can tell -"no shit, you can't make good breed too" -You seem like the type of person to drug my bread then take me into an abandoned church to crucify me -Broke liberal who thinks her financial problems are because of boomers instead of life choices. -"Okay so I know u want to be accepted and all, but it’s really not okay for you to be posting that inbred face on public subs…." -I have a feeling you smell like at least 6 different guys at any given time. -You stare for tips -Try 19 years past 19 -The prerequisite hog ring. The sign of insecurities and definite SSRI and benzo addiction. -I think the bread you make has less yeast. -"I can smell these pictures, if you were bread you'd probably be sourdough." -With your own yeast? -you look like bread isnt the only yeasty treat you are serving up... -Think your bell has dropped off the end of your nose -I would like to toast you. -You mean you work in Starbucks? And neither is barista’ing or baking. You’re just extra good at pressing the buttons cause you’ve got a bakers dozen fingers… -Your bangs are terrible <3 -Red yeasty bread one week per month...no thanks. -well you definitely look like you're inbred... -Giving incels what they want to hate -You look like you've seen more pussy than the two guys below and above this post. -Just keep swimming -"Opening the cake pop box at Starbucks is not baking. Oh, and tell your little sister not to cut your bangs anymore." -"Hey barista, i bet you sleep with each of your customers to make an extra money." -You stole more acne than the British Museum -I am also a baker and I feel offended. -"Yeah, you seem like you’d have yeast issues." -Your nose ring is an improvement -You tip the customers with that mouth? -"I thought it said banker so I immediately assumed she makes a lot of money -young muuuuuula baybeeeee" -She's got that 'I'm a feminist...until I find a man then I'll be great wife material' look about her. The back story speaks to this. -I've seen hotter EZ Bake ovens -Central banking? -Sry cant even light roast a cute witchy barista that's my whole dating history 😂 -I can foresee your future….. it’s foreseeing futures and reading Tarot at the County Sunday Swap Meet and Flea Market at your “exotic gems” table where you sell fake birthstones and terrible handjobs. -"Wow, you’re soooo edgy with the fishing tackle you’ve adorned your super plain face with. And the tattoos, it’s like you read a pamphlet on how to be a super generic rebel teen." -"Your bread may be good, but that thing on the front of your head isn't. You can make any bread sourdough just by looking at it. You are the voice behind the drive thru machine, that they never let the public actually see." -Makes up for the bad head -You look like you got a piercing for every grade you passed -“Dirty coochie” does not equal “good bread” -Your like Fleabag from Fleabag but there is no cinematography or story written; just a sad lonely Barista -Makes good bread and trauma inducing decisions... -The only bread you're making is the yeast infection between your legs -Looks like the kind of girl with a 35 y/o boyfriend because she’s “mature for her age” -Why do gen z look so old? She honestly looks like a 30 something year old. -You look like you hit on your therapist. -"The Rat piss, nag champa, and bacterial vaginitis is really fuckin with my vibe." -Noserings and jobs at Panera go hand in hand. -you look like a 40 year old divorced mom -At least we know the yeast is coming out of the packet cause there’s no way you possess a vagina. -Your bread sucks -I can already hear the shite you talk -"Good bread, bad choices." -"Let me guess, vegan, communist, unironically believes in astrology, has smelly/hairy armpits and two boyfriends simultaneously, both of whom are unemployed crackheads and love to be pegged." -Some people may say you look shifty eyed. -"You look like the kind that if presented with a choice: happy relationship, or piece of shit boyfriend that abuses you, you go straight to the second one. You then break free and start dating a good guy. Then all it takes is one message from the first guy that wants you back, for you to lock yourself in your bedroom (or at the toilet of whatever bar you work at) and cry, then proceed to immediately break up with the current good guy and go back to the abusive one." -Im 28 and you look like you could be my mother -Yeast Beast -"If you can't make penises rise, maybe you can make dough rise" -Chronic *was that just gas or a shart* face -That's so cool that you prepare food for people! Please wear gloves and a mask. -viree butiful -Having 9 OF subscribers isn’t considered good bread in this economy dear -You can use a toaster? -"If I'll roast you, then who'll roast the bread. I can't afford a good chef rn." -"Nose rings are typically for aesthetics, but your nose rings are where you hook your keys so you don’t lose them" -Flicking your bean every morning doesn’t make you a barista -"Unlike bread in the oven, you never rise to the occasion" -Smoking weed after your 4 hour shift at Starbucks doesn't make you a baker -you probably peaked in high school -"That's because you look as if you were born inbred. -Kinda unfair advantage 🥴" -I had no idea a whale could get stuck in a fishing net until I saw the last picture -You look like waking up every morning is a questionable life choice -"There's a good chance you have a printed paper that says, ""Tips Mandatory""." -you look like the typical girl from my work -Bread and Wine= What? -Of course you can make bread. With a nose like that you can smell when it’s ready from your married neighbors house while you seek validation to cover up your obesity. -You definitely look yeasty -"She is Kinda Doughy, I think she’d make a great roast!" -The yeast infection you have isn't caused by the bread you make. -You’re so pretty I don’t even feel like roasting you -Did you also happen to use that bread to cut your bangs? -You look like the stripper they schedule on Wednesday afternoons. -Thank goodness none of these pictures are scratch and sniff. -"She's got the standard ""I need attention at any cost"" starter kit plugged up in her face. - -It's tragic that women can be so easily influenced to do just about anything to the point that they'll stick & pierce their face like this. - -It ruins the symmetry of your face. - -Having the proper symmetry is the one thing that EVERY SINGLE culture on Earth values as the top-most factor in calling someone beautiful. - -Congrats, in your goal is getting attention to look at you, you've made yourself scientifically uglier & people will look at you more & notice that." -"yeah sure. Not sorry to break it to you, but Breaking Bread and glass & Baking Bad isn’t a profession." -Yet you bread has less yeast than your fanny -Baker? I bet you also make good cream pies -"You look like the mother of 19f, barista and baker, who makes good bread. <3" -No. -You must be a glove model -"You're not smart enough to understand these roast- profile says ""chili beans aren't beans, they're just beans,"" says it all. - -Even your profile sucks!" -Way to bring attention to your huge nose by adding that awful ring. -Yeast is the only thing rising when you’re around -'I put my moon blood in my cupcakes...' -"I bet your bread is just like you, flat and tasteless." -Did the farmer put that ring in your nose to stop you from digging under the fence? -I’m not sure which I believe less 19 or f. -You look like you supply your own yeast and brag about it AFTER they take a bite. -I dislike your nose ring piercing!! Take that!! -You're 19? 19 centuries old? -Working on her masters in gender studies 100 💯 -"Giiirl, you don't look a day over 37, good for you!" -You look like you smoke too much weed. 19 going on 40. -You look like a yeast expert -You look like my dick would prematurely ejaculate just to avoid being inside you. -“Barista” lol you hand me coffee -"That’s a really rough 19, maybe you should try to find a home " -"More than a frigging fuck? Loose the nose hardware. They finished the rhinoplasty, and it was a failure." -All her boyfriends are the problem and she’s single because she wants to be -Glad you got something going for you. -"Serving bread, along with Chlamydia and syphilis as sides!!!" -She’s baking a loaf of bread and it’s sourdough -Repeat after me kids:  Piercings are not personality. -I thought vampires cannot be in direct sunlight? -How many buns in the oven have you taken out too soon? Probably a lot. -"So I had to look up what ""hatchet faced"" actually means the other day. It's already finding uses!" -No. You sound terrific! -Why roast what's already baked... -You look like the coolest girl at the methadone clinic. It must be tough being you! -Which one’s Trudi? The one with all the shit in her face? -You have all the ingredients to make a cardboard sandwich. -Septum piercing = toxic personality -You can't even make my sausage roll. -Yet another ruined girl with the godawful nose piercing. -You look like someone who packs in paper bags when you are moving. -That’s a rough 19 -Makes buns cause she doesn’t have any 😢 -19 going 39 -You look like you give unenthusiastic handjobs -How often do you shower? -How can you afford those shitty tattoos working at Panera? -I bet you make your own yeast too. -let's chat. -Appearance: Biden voter -"""Barista"". Sure. That hawk nose has been leaving bruises on pelvises up and down the eastern seaboard." -A baker's life is full of pain. -You could fit 2 baguettes up that honker. -"Those tattoos complement your personality perfectly. They are incredibly stupid, boring and serve no purpose." -You give off that loose pussy energy. -You look like if taylor swift randomly aged 10 years and lost all of her plastic surgery shit -i can guarantee nobody wants your buns 🤢 -Probably have 3 masters degrees in the economic impacts of trans gender pronoun history in 1950’s east Germany and ba in Sandskrit with a double side order of student loans amounting to $250000 and wondering why you can only get a job at a donut shop. -Ahhh Baked Fresh Hot Bread and Coffee The only two things that she has that are hot. -Squats on baguettes on the daily. -I don’t want to think of where she’s sourcing her yeast from for her “good bread” -The pierced down there girl with the easy bake oven. -You're the Gypsy of Panera Bread. -Dying your hair is not a personality trait -I think she means toast me -You look like you should be holding a ukulele and singing me a song about how you're not a groomer. -“Make good bread” I think you meant “give good head” ugly girls give waaaaay better top -Your eyebrows make you look perpetually surprised -You want a leash for Christmas? -How to tell the world youre full of yeast in one easy step -Did it hurt when you fell face first in that tackle box? -"Much like your bread you look - - ""HALF BAKED""!!!!" -"u def make yeast, can smell it from here" -"Well, I know where she gets her natural yeast from!! Just saying!!" -Home made yeast and flour from skin flakes yah hippie -If red flags were a person. -Image 2 is the definition of to put makeup on a pig -"You look like you fell from heaven - -And landed on every diseased dick along the way" -You look baked enough as it is...been hitting the 'ol bongaroo while listening to some Jimmy Cliff? -Bet all your coffee has a cigarette ash and patchouli oil aftertaste. -“We gave Liz Gillies at home.” -Baking a loaf of bread and I think it’s sourdough -I just want some sourdough -HOW DO I STOP SEEING THIS??? -Ban me!! This is fucking the stupidest shit I have ever witnessed!! Why the fuck do stupid people want this done?? What’s the point -Bangs shouldn't be a DIY project -Reached your peak early eh? Get used to the phrase “Shut up and go make me a sandwich” although it’ll probably just sound like MEOW. -"A barrister eh? Your parents much be so proud that you really made the most of your education. - -Oh wait..." -"If patchouli had a personality it would be you, and that’s a basic ass personality" -"The ""youre about to heard the dumbest opinion"" piercings." -Your pronouns are doesn’t/shave -Mrs midnight looking ahh nig -I can tell from this post that you think you're worth more than you actually are. Then again you found the perfect job for someone that looks so basic. -We know you don’t make no bread by your raggedy ass clothes -That's a long sentence to say you're broke. -You mean you are the bread that gets split roasted? -I don't know anything about baking but you do look baked as fuck that's for sure -U look like u have more genders than a college student body -You look like the joker and the pinguin had a son who transformed into a woman a week ago. -"Well, if you can't be the snack yourself, at least you're learning to make them." -"Jay, putting 2 week old store brought biscuits in your microwave for 15 minutes, with a Frappuccino that’s been on the counter for twice as long, doesn’t make you a barista or a baker. It just makes you more disturbing than that nose ring." -Looks like Stevie Wonder cut your bangs -Finally a girl with OF energy but who isn't on OFs. -You look like if Daisy Edgar Jones did get jumbled in a tornado -You look like you're roasted 24/7 anyway. Yep Medicinal -"With a nose like that, I wouldn't be surprised if you have an affinity to ovens." -Your dough is the only thing that's going to get pounded.. -You're hot enough to fuck but not enough to marry -The only guys you talk to put you in immediate danger or you aren't interested -Yo I'm the same way 🥹 -"Just like your coffee, your personality is kinda bland." -"""I make good bread"", translation... The stench of yeast runs my life. Thanks for telling me what to avoid." -cinnamon haired dollar store goblin -"she’s “all natural” except for her personality, that’s from ten different online quizzes" -She uses her own yeast -Wonder where the yeast comes from…. -A baker looking to be bred? -you are the burnt bread peeta gave to katniss -Definitely keeps it hairy. -Good bread? Sorry but $14.50 an hr isn’t it -You look like you're going to ruin some poor young man's life someday -Go foccacia yourself -I’m sure you make good sourdough. -"Pic 2. - -Your face looks like it was assembled from a bucket of broken and spare parts." -You look like you eat all of your roommates vegan cheese in your communal living punk house and then blame your behavior on your energy being negative because Saturn is in retrogade -That’s one mean ass dorsal fin on ur face -"You look like the type of individual that is always in an identity crisis, and seeks others attention for validation. You join groups, and take part in group think to fit in. You are semi ""gothic"" because you want to be ""different"", but in reality you look like every other college student that barely puts in effort, then complains their student loans are not forgiven for their liberal arts degree. You don't take relationships seriously, or put in effort to find a partner, yet complain that there ""isn't any good men anymore"". Screaming feminist mentality. You probably hit every curb on your way out of the Walmart parkinglot ""oopsy"". May I go on? Lol" -When customers have to pay they ask for another waiter -fent user build -You look like your house smells like a gym locker room. -"Definitely look like you’re playing for the other team, at least with that bread you’ll never have to worry about gold diggers! Just fat chicks" -"""I make good bread"", but your parents couldn't make you better?" -"SHUT UP BOY, YOU LOOK LIKE A VELOCIRAPTOR IN A CLOGGED TOILET BOWL. BRUH, YOU LIKE AN OFF BRAND BEN 10 CHARACTER NAH, YOU AIN'T BEN 10 YOU STEVEN 9! GET YO ASS BACK BOY! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT EXPELLED FOR BARKING AT YO LUNCH LADY, SHUT YO ASS UP BOY! YOU AIN'T FROM THE JURASSIC PARK, YOU CAME FROM THE PREHISTORIC PLAYGROUND! GET YO ASS OUT BOY, YOU LIKE CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG'D FOSSIL! BOY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WITH YO NASTY ASS?! BOY, YOU BETTER GET YO REDDIT WAS AN AVERAGE KID THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WOAH!!! MOM AND DAD AND GRANDPA ALWAYS GIVING HIM COMMANDS LOOKIN ASS BOY! BRUH, YOUR BALLS DROPPED AND THEN CLIMBED BACK UP BOY! STOP PLAYING WITH ME BOY YOU SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS AN UNSOLVED RUBIK'S CUBE, YOU MADE AN NFT OUT OF YOUR GRANDMA TWERKING ON A PICKLE, YOU TRIED TURNING YOUR DISHWASHER *inhale* INTO A BITCOIN MINING RIG, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A LITTLE MOUSE WHO LIVES UNDER YOUR BED IN A PRINGLES CAN, YOUR MOM USES A JUMP ROPE AS A BELT, YOUR GRANDPA GOT AN EMERGENCY HEART TRANSPLANT WITH A CAPRISUN POUCH, YOUR BARBER LINED YOU UP WITH A WEEDWACKER, YOU HAD ESEX WITH MOBY FROM BRAIN POP IN AN ENCRYPED HTML FILE, UNCLE GOT ARRESTED FOR EATING A BLUEBERRY OUT OF A ORANGUTAN'S ASSHOLE, YOUR SISTER'S CURRENTLY ENGAGED TO A ANTHROMORPHIC DUNG BEETLE NAMED ""STEFAN"", GRANDPA GOT HELD UP BY A PIGEON WTIH A MOHAWK ON THE SUBWAY, YOU POSTED A INSTAGRAM STORY OF A JAMAICAN CRICKET GIVING YOU A LAP DANCE IN THE BACK OF TOYS R US, YOUR DAD WAS TRYING TO FLIP PATRICK THE STAR'S BELLY BUTTON LINT ON THE DARK WEB TO PAY OFF YOUR HOUSE'S MORTGAGE, YOUR MOTHER BOUGHT YOU A PS5 FOR SUCCESSFULLY DRAWING A TRIANGLE, YOUR GRANDPA'S BUILT LIKE AN EXPIRED CHUG JUG AND YOUR LEGAL NAME IS FANG CLAW FUZZLE WUZZLES! GET YO ASS ON BOY IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BRUH, IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BRUH YOU BETTER GET YO HIPPOPOTAMUS SMELLING, COCOMELON, REGISTERED INTERNET FELON, NASTY AND NEED A CLEANSE, FOSTER HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS, ""EXCUSE ME, I ONLY DATE 10S"" LOOKIN ASS OUT OF MY FACE BRUH STOP PLAYIN BRUH. ANTS BE USING YOUR GRANDMA'S BUTTCRACK AS A SLIP N SLIDE! IN FACT, YOU FINNA PULL UP TO YO GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL DRESSED UP AS A RABID ORANGUTAN! YO FURRY ASS BOY YOU GONNA ""OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH! IM SORRY GRANDMA *inhale* OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH! STOP PLAYING WITH ME BRUH, YOU BOUT NASTY AS HELL BRUH, YOU BE HITTING ON THE GIRLS AT LUNCH TIME WITH YO SACRED MATING CALL, YOU BE STANDING ON THE TABLE GOING ""WAAHH! WAAHH! WAAHH!"" STOP PLAYING BOY YOU BOUT NASTY AS HELL BRUH. BOY YOU BETTER GET YO PTERODACTYL, GOOD AT SCRABBLE, SHRIVELED APPLE, ATTRACTED TO BEEF CATTLE, CONCEIVED ON A HORSE SADDLE, YOU DON'T RUN YOU SKEDADDLE, PASTOR DID QUESTIONABLE THINGS TO YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHURCH CHAPEL LOOKIN ASS BACK BOY YOU BOUTR DIRTY AS HELL! BETTER GET YO ""ALL OF YOU HOES~ ALL OF YOU HOES~ YOU DONT REMEMBER WHO YALL TALKIN TO ITS THE DISCORD CEO!"" LOOKIN ASS BACK OUT OF MY FACE, BOY YOU BOUT DIRTY AS HELL! GET YO LIL DIGGITY DIGGITY ASS ON BOYYYY!" -You think that your shitty little tattoos make you unique when in fact you bought the basic bitch starter pack. -Wtf is wrong with your face -You look like the way a health food store smells -throwing my sandwich in the oven at Starbucks does not make you a baker. -Is baker what the kids are calling stoners these days? -The best thing about her is the bread. -NPC starter kit -I work at star bucks and cook meth in the trailer. -Barista = unemployed actress that doesn’t know how to give a proper blowjob. -Devious ass eyebrow tilt 😭🙏 -Septum 🤮 -"Let's not, as they say, go get that bread." -"As a bald guy, I can say that greasy hair is the first time that I'm not jealous of someone who has hair. Patchouli isn't soap replacement." -I smell sourdough & patchouli -The feel when you try so hard to be unique but accidentally end up being like everyone else -"How do you not get disgusting nose ring particulate dripping matter all over people's coffee? Honestly, there should really be like sanitation laws against that sort of thing." -You look like my Anti that is on Speed and she is 49.... -"This isn’t a roast, you’re really really pretty." -You look like you think you’re down to earth but everyone else thinks you’re a psycho -Your nose could be the new prison pocket! Don't worry if you get caught you look like you would fit right in! -Borderlines poster child. -You look like every barista I’ve ever seen. -im guessing that you have a professional career working at 7/11 industries.. btw you mis spelled lesbian -comment -I get “smells like cat pee” vibes. -The cover of next month’s issue of Playboy featuring the Women of Narcotics Anonymous -"I mean...I could go for the obvious panhandler opioid addict couple vibes you exude...but I'm more shocked that dude has...only *one* key. That is honestly the most uncanny fucked up thing I've ever seen here and I've seen a lot of freak shows pass through. - -What fucking lunatic only has *one* key? Unless...are you guys actually just living in a storage unit near the corner you both give blow jobs for smack??" -If he shaves or you grow a beard you two are the same person -On the next episode of… Sister Cousins -You look like youve forced many people to listen to shit music. -Poor man’s Russel Brand pulls Poor man’s Russel Brand level pussy. -Senior year in High School has got to suck at 30. -"""Do your worst"" - -After what God has already done to you, it just seems mean spirited at this point." -Behold the new sitcom duo Skunk and Skank.  -Brother and sister got kicked out of the neo hippie loser commune for fucking each other -"If you’re looking for a band name, I’d suggest: The Unfuckables." -"Let me guess, you can fix him right?" -My dead grandmas tits are perkier than hers -You guys look like you spit out of time from a Fishbone concert from 92 -Did you meet in rehab or jail? -You ' re competing for the worst Mullet? -"""We're meth friends."" - -""Don't you mean best friends?"" - -""I know what I said!""" -how can both of you look like you can do better? He looks like someone that would buy stock in a bankrupt towel store and she looks like someone who would give an angry dry hand-job to someone that bought stock in a failing towel store. -Dude def has “only talks to 16 year old scene girls” vibes. -Don't know who is flatter him or her -Tatts and Flats -Smelliest couple at the halfway house -Crack and Tommy -"The toe shoes is enough, fuck everything else" -I know both of you put things up your butt -What a handsome gay couple. -"It's some sort of combination of meth, early 2000s goth/grunge and isolated apartment dweller" -Before and After comparison? -Creed sucks and Amelie likes to cook her heroin with a little creme brulee in the spoon. -Man màneskin has really gone downhill -Y’all look like gas station toilet turds that just won’t flush -You're both dating up and down at the same time. -13% raised on a 2 year old gofundme for a camper van -"Oh look, it’s wish.com Russell Brand and Zooey Daschanel" -Do you swap each others underwear as well as swapping clothes? -"Dude: put a shirt on -Chick: put a bra on - -Both of you: get haircuts and stop inbreeding please" -Looks like shift change at the douchebag factory. -Is this where the lead singer of Creed wound up? -"The chick on the left hasn't washed her feet for years. No those aren't shoes, just muck and dead skin. The chick on the right loves to lay down on her stomach, sling her tits behind her back, and go down on those toes." -Walmart brand Dave Navarro and Carrie Brownstein -It’s like rubbing two sticks together. -it looks like her tits and his looks are in a race to see which can hit the floor first. She's leading. -Siblings? Lovers? Both! -I bet the dude's credit rating is even lower than the girl's tits. -Tell that dude to put a bra on. -Pepe Le Pew and Penelope -Mac and Gail the Snail -Bonnie and Chlamydia -Bonnie and Clyde at the Methadone clinic -When the movie produces hire middle aged adults to play as teenagers -Y’all look like you work on the same assembly line together -"Snakemouth and That 70's Chick - -\- The new series on CW" -Are you sure you're not from some movie about a time traveling 90s alt metal drummer married to a groupie from the 70s? -The chick in yellow bangs the chick in black w her huuuge clit -Where is your “Will swing for change” sign? -I've never felt more pressured to ask someone's pronouns in my life -You look like NPCs in GTA San Andreas -It’s rip off Johnny silverhand and a registered sex offender -I can’t roast you guys as much as you roast your meth pipes 🤷🏻‍♀️ -Cosplaying the background characters from Daria? -Two pretty handsome fellas. Not much material to work with here. -"Yall smoked just a little too much meth one day, forgot you were siblings and fucked each other. After you woke up naked next to each other, you just decided to keep goin with the incestuous flow." -Having to post a couple roast…. Screams dependence. But makes sense since you two look like a brother and sister that are dating. -Wearing each other clothes is OK I guess -I cant tell if your 15 and he is 30 or if he is selling your body for crack -The White Trash Stripes -"When Dollar Store Russel Brand met Truck Stop Angelina Jolie. - -They look like lead tambourine and woodblock players for a band called ""Fart Supplies"". - -They look like they make their own vape juice in the bathtub." -Y'all both look like you spread HPV -You guys look like the reason incest is illegal in most places -"Wow. Looks like the picture you would use for bad decisions. - -He is the tattoo up wanna be bad boy who cries every time he gets new ink and she is the girl who left her middle class home to live with him in a trailer park. I am guessing both of their parents have disowned them and now they collect rain water to drink and shower with." -"These days, a person might get in trouble for roasting a couple of trans women." -I have to admit. Getting tattooed just for a Reddit roast is pretty hard core. -"SYD & NANCY 2024. -show me the hidden track marks and missing teeth." -If heroin was a couple. -Id say I’d trust you as far as I could throw you but I could probably launch both of you across a field -"This photo smells like a 2006 Toyota Corolla with 190,000 miles and 85 bumper stickers on it" -Happiest heroine addicts I've ever seen -I just wanna know...did you guys find out you were siblings before or after fucking? I could easily see either possibility. -Okay. So which one of you used to be a woman? -You look like a couple I’d see at an AA meeting -I caught VD just looking at this picture -I would definitely clutch my purse walking past you two -"If you averaged your footwear, you’d both be in Crocs." -Y’all look like youre in high school but shouldnt be allowed within 500yds of a high school -"No I don’t have a cig, leave me alone" -You two could switch heads and it would make no difference. -Before and after gender reassignment surgery -Those are not belts but bracelets holding their pants -You 2 have the same lockers behind you that the lesbian farmers who posted here earlier used in their post. Same hangers too. I guess by displaying that 1 key let's us know who's in charge. -Did microwave and sadurn do a collab? -Translucent skin stretched over alien frames. -I can smell the government housing from here -"The 1980's called, they want their haircuts back" -Intervention class of '97 -After and before transitioning -Discount Jesse and Jane from Wish -Nothing to roast just a nice photo of two sisters -Woah die antwoord looking good nowadays -I could replace your faces and no one could tell the difference -Russel Bland and Fiona Crabapple. -Wish version Mickey and Mallory Knox -Dave Grohl on Meth and Lesbian Arm Pit Hair Brett Cooper -I bet your apartment smells like all natural EVERYTHING. -"Siblings by blood, lovers by choice" -Those tiny banana titties are the worst -Nothing to roast... just two cool dudes enjoying the day -You look like you came fresh out of millenal stranger things. -Looking like Joe dirt and his inbred sister are off to and get there GEDs….. -You look like the couple in an amateur threesome where the guy quits halfway through and she just keeps going. -The dude on the right looks ridiculous without his mustache -"You have a single key and a USB thumb drive hanging from your belt? No car keys, how's the riding the bus like? You are as lame as that snake tattoo" -"hipster douche bags. be careful with those new stick on tattoos you pasty twats. they’ll come off when you take a shower. Sun light is a thing, you might know that if you ever left your moms basement. i’m glad you’re smiling with your mouths closed, but you don’t need to hide your amphetamine addiction- literally it’s written on fake loser faces." -She has Hair like Billy Ray Cyrus and tits like Billy Joel. -You look like you were Jane's Addiction's first roadie and the girl is the side piece who the band is named after. -Lonely Fans -Are they siblings? lol they look like twins -the left looks like the uncle you don’t leave around kids. Got a van full of puppies and candy. -You’re not who you think you are. -How has no one pointed out the barefoot shoes? -"You look like you share a wardrobe, and an uncle" -Lesbens -No need to roast either of you. Both have done a great job of doing that to themselves already. -Your poor parents. -I didn't even have to look to know you were wearing those stupid ass toe shoes. -"I'm not sure where to go with this roast; honestly, you're a good looking young man, and your girlfriend on the left has strong birthing hips & the soft features of a church girl." -Is that underwear elastic he's using for a belt? -"Whyd the guy on the left shave, cross dress and then photoshop themselves back into the photo?" -"There’s pegging going on, but I’m not sure who is the bottom." -That flash drive on your keys probably has some truly terrifying files on it. -"Look like a crack addict couple, one dosage away from overdosing in your trailer home." -Heroin and meth officially becoming a couple. -"Clearly, they got drunk and were supposed to cut each other's hair, but after he cut her hair they passed out." -Four hairy pits and musk strong enough to drop a buffalo. -This picture smells like cigarettes -You both look transgender -One-key-having narcotic sister-fucker -Which ones the dude? Cousins or siblings? -The toe shoes…barf -Is this the beginning of a narcan commercial? -Lesbian couples are cute -Krack head Ken and Barbiturate Barbie -"I would, but whoever let you outside like that already did" -You guys look like you wanna look like drug addicts so badly. Just commit already. -I can tell you guys have sour damp bath towels that you use for weeks. -Yall both look like the reverse gender of each other -Caption: That face you make when the director decides to swap roles and holes on the day of filming. -Why are you wearing each other’s hair? -He looks like he screams “I’m Your Brother-I’m Your Brother-I’m Your Brother” when she PEGS him…. -Dude has a beautiful smile and i can tell he doesn’t smile enough. The shoes tho -Y’all look like you came out of a time capsule…that was Buried 30 Years Ago. -"I can't. You need fat to roast something, but you guys look emaciated..." -hey it's those two people from that gtaV cut scene with trevor dropping off the two people from the hotel -Temu micky and Mallory -She looks like her pubes have dandruff j -You two look a bunch of freeloading hippies. -Looks like you got left back and your repeating the 14th grade -Look like the main characters of a book written by Meth. -"I get older, they stay the same age." -"They may be only be 50% as cool as they want to be, but they're 100% unemployable" -"I don’t have to roast you, Satan will do that when you pass." -The guy looks like the hunter from open season -Bill and Teds inbred adventure. -You look like you have the face swap filter on all the time. -"When they say the porn industry chews you up and spits you out, they were dead on." -Thought this was a “where are they now” for Die Antwoord -She’s got the illustrious she mullet n he has wwe video game tattoos -Two homeless people cosplaying Die Antwoord -you look like you’d be casted in stranger things or heart stopper -You look like you try to tell your kids about Hoobastank while they sit on their iPads and ignore you. -Really? A grey background? Ick -She’s got a bigger bulge than you. -This you? https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/NugNTTXtR9 -Buddy likes when she farts in his mouth and oh boy does she look gassy -When you fuck does it sound like two skeletons clanking into each other? -bill and Teds horrible adventure -This is why you don't fuck your dealer. -Just 2 30 year year olds trying to get through senior year. -Tell us which is the male first -"You hate your parents and your entire lifestyle is funded by them. - -Bunch of dorks." -Y’all look like you came straight out of a dreamworks movie. The guy looks like the hunter from open season just in different clothing and I can see this woman looking like Boog’s human mother. Y’all look like y’all both just came from a rock and roll session with the band. Looking like you’re about ready for a world tour with that sign that says “roast me” like that’s the name of your next song….well anyway I hope you enjoyed the roast. You said to give my worst and I did. Hope you didn’t take it too personally. Honestly you look like great people and happily love each other -"Guy looks like if Lalo from Better Call Saul and Earthling Ed on YouTube had a kid and forced said kid to listen to nothing but Nickelback their whole life leading into adulthood, and the girl just honestly looks like every other bra-less, colorful t-shirt + jeans style girl in the background of every 80's music video ever. - -Hope y'all are having a good day. Lol" -You look like you smell like Post Malone's nut sack -You look like hipsters that discovered meth -I love that there’s a Junior College for Carnival work. Good for y’all. -Jack n Jill went up the hill each with a buck n a quarter -Cast for Brown Bunny II. -Fent is the new black -"Sorry ca, yall are a cute couple, I'd like to have a three way with yall" -"That dude has those shoes on that have individual sections for his toes, I can’t roast what’s already charred." -I can’t tell which one of yous is the girlfriend in your relationship -The drugs hit Jesus hard. -No need for a girlfriend when your sister can’t wait to crawl onto your face watching porn… -Would ask siblings or dating but I already knew the answer is both -You could switch clothes and hair styles and I think it would be an improvement for both of you. -Looks like Nickleback had sex with itself and made something worse than (insert any Nickleback album you can name). -Emo brother takes emo sister to sex club. -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -"Is this what you wanted to be when you grew up, a video game character selection menu?" -You catching a manslaughter charge if you sneeze in that weak ass polo shirt -I kept scrolling through pics to change the outfit and out of habit I was hoping to get to the part where I could change your facial expression. This game only gives the option to change the shirt though apparently -You stand like a toddler waiting to be picked up. -Enthusiastically showcasing your entire wardrobe -"When your body says BEAST, but your eyes say PRINCESS." -brotha uses a whole tube of chapstick in one swipe -50 Scents -Bros mouth was installed upside-down -CJ maxed out on strength but nothing else -"You have the perfect ""my brother is a successful athlete"" build" -If he steps on a thumbtack he will deflate. -You look like you’ve been holding in a fart all day long. -Create-a-Character looking motherfucker. -"Ok, you took the pictures, you can exhale now" -"“How did you know?! I LOVE this song!” - -🎶 making my way downtown 🎵🎶" -you look like a npc whos animations aint loaded yet -Why are all your selfies at the airport? -Bro your lats aren’t big enough to justify that stance in 3 photos -I can almost guarantee all those shirts are available in a larger size. -You look like you sell family plans at Verizon -"You’re already black, no need to suck in the gut." -Wearing shirts for teens just to look bigger. Smh. -It's nice that the prison you're in let you model some clothes for the cell block fashion show -"""Maybe people will like me more if I can lift more weights""" -okay you can have my corn bread -"Legit thought it was a police lineup, but after about 20 minutes I think it’s the same guy? Could be wrong though." -"""Even me know crypto not real money""" -You are like the kid from a Christmas story - I can’t put my arms down! -"You look like you prefer to date big white women. And surprise! Judging by your previous posts, I am correct." -Bros the body guard outside the strip club in gta5 -"""i already know im ugly 🥺🥺🥺"" pick me! choose me! love me!" -Gymbro Slice -You are what the sketch artist draws whenever a boomer describes a 'suspicious guy' in their neighbourhood -Kanye East -"Your character when you try on clothes in GTA, San Andreas:" -I can only imagine that your teeth are absolutely janky -I’m going to need to see a birth certificate there’s no you’re a day under 37 -His favorite piece of gym equipment is his sports bra. -Are you interested in a career as a store mannequin? -"If he stops holding his breath, his muscles will deflate." -First 3 pics he's carrying suitcases -"When god doesn’t bless you with a BBC, so you take steroids to make up for having a tiny pecker." -Create a character with the face stuck on duck face.  -"“I ain’t saying shit to you. You’re scary as hell looking.” - -*walks down the block, gets in car, locks down, starts engine, puts it in drive, and barelyyyy cracks the window before yelling back* - -“…which is exactly what your daddy said before putting a brown bag over your mama’s ugly ass face 24 years, and 9 months ago.” - -Vrrrrrrrrroooom!" -Kevin hart and Kanye’s butt baby -You roast this guy and he shows up at your house in all camo to knock you tf out -Your nipples look just as aggressive as your record -NPC stance -"Can you give us a picture without the beard? - -You grew it because you got tired of people thinking your bottom lip was your chin right?" -Bartender: You’d be so much prettier if you smiled -"Bro T poses like a Bethesda NPC. - -Honestly bro, you gotta have better self esteem you’re not ugly at all.. n’ built like a brick-shithouse." -I can feel your fist on my face through the internet. I will not be roasting you. -The top button of that polo shirt is begging you to size up -Bruh you need fix ur beard. It looks a pubič hair. I dont know how tall u r. But that build doesnt fits u. You like a walking thick pitbull -Your face looks racist. -When you pretend you can’t put your arms down -Idris Ewwba -Why are you standing like an avatar for a video game? -"If you spent as much time in class as you did in the gym, you wouldn't have to work the door at Hooters After Dark!" -He can lift a ton but can’t spell it. -***Locks the door*** -How the hell do you look like a generic NPC from GTA? Bro over here looking like background gang member #5. -"When your relatives buy you clothes that don’t fit for christmas, but your mom makes you put them on for the thank you photo." -Has there ever been a more obvious anonymous profile r/smalldickproblems poster? 6’3 and jacked with a cool 4 inches. It’s ok bro -"Mom, can we have Kanye West? - -We have Kanye West at home. - -\*Kanye West at home\*" -"Bro, you are not ugly. You just do not know how to choose clothes that fit." -"Are you intentionally mimicking an under armour mannequin? If so, well done, if not, put your arms down my person" -"Bro we get it, you have a snatched waist." -Steroids are fun because your clothes shrink at the same rate as your balls. -First time ive ever been annoyed by how someone stands -"IMO not that ugly, but why TF you stand like you're getting 3D scanned in every picture. I'm rolling picturing family photos and your ass just out there like a video game character model." -24 ? Mofucka you look 34 damn . -"I know it’s supposed to be a roast but bro you are a good looking dude in great shape, I could think of girls I know right now that would go for you keep ya head up" -Apollo Dweeb -Beautiful smile - same size as the shirts you wear. -Kanye East -You hold yourself like you have big lats. But you don't have big lats. -Oh sorry it’s roast me my bad. I mean you too beefy and big lipped. Looking like Debo wanna big kiss -At least you’re only 3/5 ugly. -Bro out here with his “Does not compute” lookin ass -" -Ah, the gentleman prefers a size “SMedium “”." -Bro looks like he’s ready to take the highest bid at todays auction -"Wow, how’d you get the camera into the jail?" -"Bro put your arms down, your not as big as you think you are." -This is not grinder. -Yooo handsome squidward looking ass -Do they id you at Baby Gap when you buy shirts? -"Looks like the cop from cloudy with a chance of meatballs, dude be yelling ""FLInt LOCKwUD"" randomly" -"Ffs, put your damn arms down, you look ridiculous" -You’re doing great! -You’re a good sport -Did op confuse this sub with r/Roidme -"Bro is fucking BUILT but got the energy of Matt from Wii Sports - -I swear I've seen you in the red from state farm - -Jojo bizzare adventure type of vibes to the club deadass" -"Nah dude, you are a chad" -"This is what would happen if a hybrid of 50 Cent, Kanye West, Jon Jones, KSI and The Great Khali was a ""Create the character"" lookin ahh mf irl." -Theres nothing really to roast bro. You're a Greek god. All I can even say negative about the pics is your never smiled. Show them pearls king -"You look like you eat 2 dozen raw eggs and a whole buffalo every morning and run 5 miles to work just to be the most JACKED barista at Starbucks. - ->! (Srsly tho, post your workout routine. I'm tryna lose 20 pounds, not my girl.) !<" -Jake from State farm -"I ain't roasting shit. You look like you could remove my bone density, the turn me into a marble" -Your day job is standing in a mall display window -Gott work on your aura bro -Your depression is much worse than your looks. -You have a condition called Lloyd Banks Mouth. -This man has no legs. -I bet that your on so many roids that you can't get it up -Bro stands like he just got spawned into the server -I bet you’d do well on the field -"“Choose your character” ahh pose -“You haven’t unlocked this character”" -Your shirt selections don’t change the fact that you indeed are still ugly -Whatcanta -You look like you're holding your breath in each photo. Not ugly though -Ok but dude your not ugly -GTA NPC -...Did your mom tell you that you have to pose like a pretty princess for each outfit?? Or is that your own original idea -"All that weight lifting and you still ain’t got no -Hoes" -Dude is built like the 🧍‍♂️emoji -"“Boss, I’s scared of the dark”" -Lmao all this bih pictures look like you creating a video game character -bro looks like he ate frank martin and acquired his facial characteristics -Look like the guy Vitaly and YG caught trying to meet a 15 year old boy. -That first pic says Wakanda forever!!!!! -How is your emoji use in the comments more expressive than your face in these photos? -Why you trying to curtsy or fly in every photo… -When you create Lloyd Banks in NBA Live 06. -Brother looks like a box of milk duds that someone forgot in the trunk of their car. -Kanya meh. -Why do you look like an overinflated blow up doll? -Why’s bro built like a GTA NPC -Why does he look like he has an air hose up his ass? -Handsome as hell 😍😍😍😍 -You look like you speak in grime. -Legitimate question for this and all the other knuckle-dragging roided up freaks out there- how do you scratch you back when your arms barely even fit on your stupid bodies any more like that? It's ridiculous. -You’re the king of hide and seek in the dark. -If Jake from Statefarm and Dwayne Johnson had a son -UFC X NBA -Me! Me! Give me attention I am desperate for it. -Bro looks like a fit version of the cop from cloudy with a Chance of meatballs -"I have no idea how to explain this, but your own pictures seem racist 😂" -You have Such fine deportable features -"Sloth in human form. T arms for life, SON!!!" -Are you always cold or something -"surprisingly smooth knuckles, haven't been doing much walking recently?" -You're compliment fishing. That is my roast of you -I bet you can’t look angry lol -Finishing for compliments is unbecoming. -"sorry man but sincerely you are not ugly at all! A lot of attractiveness is confidence, and you definitely have the facial bone structure to rock it. Just might want to keep your shoulders down or there's something else about your posture that feels off. - - -i know that's not what you were looking for but i didn't like to see you criticize yourself like that" -Bro is black -"Don't you just hate it when someone starts out their post with, ""I know I'm ugly, "" but they're built like a damn brick shit house!" -Just the 4 seasons of his mugshotss. -Resources/Models/Civilian/civilian_003 looking ahhh -When you grow up in the hood and can't afford a real mr.potatohead. and you gotta settle for this character -"Why do these pictures make it look like its your first day on earth, and you're trying SO HARD to blend in? -The design is very human." -You look like a background NPC for Spider-Man 2 -Touch your hands behind your back. I dare you! -"Hey look, The Rock and Kevin Hart had a baby" -"2nd pic looks like your nips is picking the cotton from your shirt 👕 😄 - -Love and respect 🙏 🫡" -"Guy got caught with his hands on his hips and said ""never again""." -Ur little brother runnin around with no shirts on cause you took them all -Kanye if he focused on weights and not jews -Bro wore in different colours so that we know that's not his body part😶 -Your lips look like I accidentally adjusted them too much while making you to suffer in the sims -Why is everyone on this subreddit attractive and then just fishing for compliments? Lol  -Bro tried to pull that 8 Mile move where you say it before your enemy can. News flash buddy you’re not eminem youre that roided out dude he smoked -"You’re not ugly - -You’re my favorite default character from NCAA 14" -"You look like a kid in elementary school that pushed his hands against a door frame for 30 seconds so they would ""float up"" on their own." -"I'm honestly kinda scared to roast you man, I'm scared you would either fight me or smooch me with those lips puckered up like that." -Personality of a pig who workout but sole soul of an angry bird. -"You are like a math problem, every negative people say is adding to a positive to me. But I am a bi dude so take that as you will." -"24?! I guess the saying black don’t crack, does not apply to you" -If you are happy and you know it clap your hands. -You look like you kiss with your eyes closed real tight. -Perfect lips silky smooth lookin ass .. -I think it's sweet that you still wear the shirts your mother bought you in high school. -Look at the definition! …on the top of your pointy-ass head -You look like P Diddy's angry nigerian cousin -"Damn, I guess those prison gyms are getting pretty good now..." -My man used his color as a shirt on that 1st pic. -You look like an npc in gta who looks tough but is super weak and gets shot to the ground all the time -"He looks like he's stuck in a customizing game for boys, and not the high quality resolution ones, the ones with a bucha ads and with little to no clothing options." -You look like you’re trying to be oppressed. “Please bully me I’m gay! How dare you offer me this job I’m not qualified!! -It looks like your neck is reaching out to try to keep your giant dome from floating away. -"That second photo gives strong ""manager at the Target deep in the hood"" vibes." -Why you look like a default? -What you training for ? The uglympics ? -"Based on your caption, sounds like you hit the gym hard so that people would only refer to you as ugly, and not fat and ugly." -Franklin Clinton? -Every single one of your pictures looks like your mom just told you to “put this shirt on so I can see if it fits you”. -Office Linebacker: Terry Taint -"I don't know about ugly, but based on these poses, you might be a early video game model for a background character." -"""Super Predator"" if it was a comic book character and not just a racist dog whistle." -Franklin Clinton if he didnt get rid of that old yeeyee ass haircut he had going on -WAHHH I’m ugly give me compliments Wahhhb -Is your fsce paralyzed -They not like us -You ain't gonna look like that forever muscle man. -405 bench & 405 FICO -You look like the Nigerian mastermind behind the Jussie Smollett hoax. -Bro looks like the bouncer for a sperm bank -"I bet your legs are skinny AF bwoy. Leg day skipping ahh. Big and tall for show, all for me to punk you with my Sig Sauer. We not even gon’ address your DSLs too much either bruh" -Musclehed -Putting the roast aside. Bro is JACKEDDDDDDD -"Black, on unemployment and disability. Doesn’t bring a quarter when he visits Aldi." -"In the 2nd photo, you look like Jake from State Farm’s personal bodyguard. It’s definitely the top button." -You got the create a character pose 💀all joke aside I would not mess with you -Default black character in video games -kanye and lebrons baby -"Bro is "" choose your outfit""" -"Calm down, you asked us to roast you. You can relax your body." -"Tank top screaming, “LOTTO I DONT FIT YOU” lol" -Turn to the right! -Looks like you fell out the womb lips first. -Have they taken out that support rod from your arse yet? -Let’s try a smile OP. I’m sure it can light up someone’s day 👍 -"Never seen a woman with a beard before, but considering that, I have seen uglier women." -comment -I'm guessing this isn't the first time you've relied on random people for validation -You’re that chick that people can’t figure out why they’re single until they start talking to you -"Tits for onlyfans - -A face for radio - -I'm betting a voice for Morse code" -She got that Jim Carey jaw line -"“Must be 6ft, and have a REAL job”" -My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. -You look like you have nothing better to do than get roasted on Reddit -There is nothing scarier than a bipolar nurse -“She looks just like her father.” -everyone she has ever known and is related to. -Those caterpillar eyebrows should have their own website -Calling bullshit on 20 -You look like the kind of girl who gets a boyfriend and immediately develops attachment issues. -Don’t look too bad for 35 -This dude looks like Argyle from Stranger Things. Love the pizza bro. -"When fingers look like toes, you know something ain’t right." -I'd hit it...with my car. -you look like you would scrape his deodorant off his pits with your teeth -20-15 years ago. -You have your name tattooed on your lower back -"You look like my cousin, and he has one hell of a jawline." -20 my ass! This chick looks 47 -You could probably make 100 bucks in amateur porn if you didn't show your face. -Looks like Stan Smith in female disguise. -This is not how you get character references for a green card. -Best tits I've seen on a man so far. Keep on jocking in the he world. -nice try bro. that wig ain’t fooling anyone. -"Bruce Jenner get a face lift and a dye job? - - -Oh my bad, Caitlyn Jenner get a face lift and a dye job?" -"Baby, ain't nobody can roast you like God did. " -You look like you’re about to say “sufferin suckatash” while you spit everywhere -Why is she home? Street corner closed? -You don't look a day over 40. -"There are showers and there are whore showers... you However, look like you shower in essential oils" -"Your probably the person in your tinder bio that says ""find out""" -"If i had to rate you , i would say you're a 10 ,i'm not kidding i really am into trans people" -Out here with a chin like the moon guy from McDonald’s in the 90s -Some bulky add fingers damn -"Your tits are like that hotel room, disappointing" -You look like Timothee Chalamet. In a wig -You look like Jim Carrey’s stoned younger sister. -Brown bag special. -r/TVTooHigh -You look like you have people that hate your guts for valid reasons. You need to change your ways and make better choices. -I think you have a couple caterpillars above your house eyes -I hope your belly button ring don’t accidentally scratch your nipples -Mid looking dude -Sexiest prostitute in your hometown. -"You look boring, plain, and smelly..." -"If the crazy hot scale was a pie chart, maybe 25%" -"You’re a dose of syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, and genital warts all rolled up in one. Next show those meth teeth." -Who fuqued up your browse? -Naaa girl you fine asf for a man. You look like every drag queen who aired on “How to catch a predator.” -"You like you have a “Yeah I’m a bitch -Deal with it” on the back of your car" -You blame your failures on your astrological signs -What's it like being a trans woman? -You look like you say “harder” for a living -Imagined you naked and my dick fell off. -Your teenage Grandkids must be so proud… -"And I’m over here like, “idk, I think she looks pretty cute” lol" -That’s a dude -Is 20F the number of floors your mom fell down when she had you? -When you order Pocahontas from wish.com -Looking for that attention your dad never gave you? -If I give you a cup of tea will you call me a reindeer? -?gnitsop erofeb erutcip a pilf ot ti si drah woH -I thought this was an only fans post at first. Then I seen you’re over the 40 year age limit by 11 years. 20F? Did you shoot up Ozempic and Meth at the same time? Aged 31 years in a matter of 14 collapsed veins and 3 overs doses? -Showing cleavage won't distract anyone from noticing you're just Jim Carrey in a wig -Your OnlyFans has only 1 subscriber - your dad. -So plain looking she has to have unimpressive cleavage on show -20? You look like 40 -Damnnn some trans women really do look like women! -"I had sex with my wife last night, much hotter than you." -You are a handsome woman. -I see you took your hairdressers advice on how to hide that manly chin of yours. -You look like someone who speedruns dating apps -"20? Huh, I would have guessed 35 with two kids and the dad in jail." -Your face is the type of face that makes me want to sit on the toilet and have a good old session of explosive diarrhea -"Please don’t look for salvation on a platform that will only destroy what’s left of your self esteem,be confident with yourself, should work on your self esteem and be confident in yourself and your looks,there is more in life than your looks,inside in your soul is way more important than the book cover, need to focus on what you can do for society,the rest will come from your sincere actions for others,inner beauty is much more attractive than the outside cover,seek and you will find" -"You look like Whitney Wisconsin... If you know, ~~you know~~ why?" -Your face looks like it’s filed a worker’s comp claim against your parents. -You look like you'd lie there like a dead fish during sex. -You got chubby fingers -Honey!! This ain't tinder for fuck all . .. -A face Ken Block would enjoy. -Either your keyboard is broke or your parents lied to your older ass -You’re the 9th option on his booty call list -She's definitely done things for free food at the mall food court -Dead eyes... -20 with the dead eyes of a porn hub veteran. Jesus… -She's always got a chance at 2am because she lulls people to sleep with that lazy eye. -"Thats easy, just look into any mirror." -You put the Great Plains to shame with whatcha got there -Sweety you’ve been roasted by genetics already. Can’t roast charcoal. -Dimple nipples -You can smell whats for dinner tomorrow. -If the color beige gained sentience and started an OnlyFans -Mia khalifa wlc bk -You mean 20 years in the adult industry. -She did the opposite to get attention and still doesn't have a father fiqure -I couldn't get past the appetizers with you -Baggage under the eyes isn't the only Baggage you're carrying -"The Mona Lisa called, she said you can keep doing that smile because no one would mistake it for her" -#....lips like a lightning bolt -"I bet all your friends are guys, and by that i mean, you're a big whore." -Sorry I’m not 8 d batteries -You look like you are mean to puppies. -"You look like a Taylor Swift song. Bland, un-original and keep streching the same ol topic of being a basic toxic bitch, who didn't realized the main reason for all your failed relashionships was reflected by a mirror." -You look like your entire 1st date conversation is your going on about your ex and your cats. -Lemme Guess..You roast yourself about the amount of dics you sucked over the weekend.. Every Monday.. -Primary residence - Ramada Inn. -"You look like you would make a video for a “reality porn” channel. Your video would be one of the forgettable ones-the mediocre one that you watch and bust to once, then never watch again." -You look like a dude cosplaying as a chick -"This is probably one of those situations where no matter what people say, as long as most don’t see that you’re really a man you get to consider it a win." -Victoria Justice from wish.com -20f more like 30f -You look like Shamima Begum -I bet you're real insecure about your nail shape -Which motel are you living in this month? -One word: Arby's -You look uglier then the dudes from jersey shore -It looks like you haven't slept in days and your Xanax usage doesn't help -That chin is fucking massive dude lol -🥴 -"Damn dude, I'd hate to have to run with those moobs." -My dads look alike you in his 30s. -"Oh good lord. You're one of those that thinks it's funny to say ""it's my 20th birthday for the 15th year in a row lol"". - -Seriously, if you're 20, you are the oldest looking 20 year old, and that includes ones with Progeria." -You look seriously look like you’re trying to remember how to smile after taking a shovel to the face -Who wrote your sign a third grader geezus -YO I just Googled- “Kodak Black Tramp Stamp”and it sent me here -Jessica Squeal. -"You mistyped 50, but I guess some people mistake the 2 for a 5." -Hey guys another hot girl who doesn't get enough attention -Manhands. -"Cownan, the Barbarienne" -"So by ""roast myself"" you mean ""I let losers cum in me""?" -I'm surprised your account isn't NSFW. -"Ease back a bit on the opioids, add 1g psilocybin and lotsa B12. Call me on one week" -I feel like you've cursed people after they repeat your name in the mirror 3 times. -Zenmeha -"Do you put on some soft music when you roast yourself? Maybe turn the lights down. You have perfect Lesbian fingers. Thick, short nails." -It’s called makeup; you should look into it. -The joker wants his smile back -Goddammit Anthony Davis look-alike with them bushy brows -"Do you know why Canadians say sorry so often, it's because they're desperately trying to make up for your existence." -obviously a man -Even the TV tilts away from your tits. -40 year old wearing a 20 year old’s outfit but them titties look to be about 60. -Dollar Tree Sasha Grey? -She definitely cracks crab legs and walnuts with those fucking paws! -The only reason you show so much of your tits is so no one looks at your face -You look old af. Got em -"Wow. I... honestly don't have a boner right now. Seriously, I've seen sexier fetal pigs in a college lab." -"Looking at you reminds me of the Mona Lisa, nobody knows who you are and the French would lock you up in a bullet proof box." -"20F lmao - -And oj didnt murder anyone..." -"You look like you preface all new relationships by saying, ""I used to be a slut. I would sleep with guys on the first date, go down on them, etc. -""But now, I'm ready to settle down with a good man.""" -#`JFC JUST DROP THE DISCOUNT CODE FOR YOUR ONLYFANS` -Dollar Tree version of Olivia Munn -As flavoursome as vanilla ice cream without the vanilla or cream. -You look like 20y and 40y singlemom at the same time -Look like you're about to send an unsolicited dick pic -"You look like you'd constantly interrupt a guy on the first place and talk about ""how you're totally over your ex, even though we're still living together, but we haven't slept together in like 2 weeks so..."" Then ask for the most expensive item on the menu and be like ""you're paying right?""" -you prolly insufferably argue for sport -Definitely have that “casting couch” look to you -Even the tv is hanging its head in shame at this obvious attention seeking -You look like you host a podcast on why men are all pigs and why you're to good for them that all two of your single friends listen to. -What’s it like being so average your own friends forget you exist? -look at this nasty ass gril lookin like she has a fucking rat nest in her hair iwth that gay ahh neckless like wtf bro that shit stanky as hell. that tv u have going almost as down as yo fathers exceptations for yo ass. and that jaw line br. lil bro looks like that one girl from terrefier. note: these are jokes i actually dont mean it. -More cheeks than the troll face -having a small heart as a necklace that doesn’t distract from your accentuated cleavage is an apt metaphor for what attributes you prioritize -Peaked at 20 -"Settle down, thumb-fingers." -Where are the pre-transition pictures? -You look like the type of person that tells a dude you're a freak and then you lay completely still in bed -I didn’t realize Mia Khalifa has a younger more used looking sister -It's Motel 6 this month and they damn sure don't leave the light on her -You have nice tits for a dude -"The first post in your history is asking if guys in long-term relationships get bored with their SO's body. You realize you are supposed to actually be a fun and interesting person too, right?" -Jizz Master 5000 -You look like a tired 38 year old high school teacher with man hands. -"Your tits are as bland as your face, and just as droopy." -Probably leads males on with queues and then friend zones them when you find out they don’t pay attention to her for a day -Your smile is funny af hahhaha. It's the dimples. People with dimples never smile perfectly. -There's definitely something hanging between your legs -You look like you’d super glue a man’s penis to his stomach because he cheated on you…..in your dream. -"Butt cut, fake tits, caterpillar eyebrows...maybe you'll find that one special guy at the next gypsy family reunion." -"You’re pretty. Pretty lame. Boom, roasted" -"20 yr old face, 30 yr pld rack." -Her nose looks like a homing missile -“We have Mia Khalifa at home” -Her? -20 years old is already the funniest joke we’re gonna see on this thread. If thats true then your genetics have roasted you worse than anyone here can. -It’s ok to do something with those eyebrows -Congratulations on your transition. -You're pretty..........Pretty Homely -"Honestly, I wish you would post a full body pic because you look big boned and I suspect you're really fat." -Kirkland Sasha Gray -You look like you spike people's drinks at the bar -Next time you coukd mirror picture before posting so it's better orientated x -I'd always wondered what a camel looked like before it spat. Until Now. -"Swamp vagina has a face, ladies and gentlemen…" -Your uglier than the roast in my oven. -Clearly drunk as most Native Americans. Picture is backwards. -Looks like Caitlyn Jenner transitioning back to Bruce -Shitty silicone injections? That part/gap is suspect... -"Just because it's a fire crotch city between them legs of yours, don't think that we can't incinerate that big ass forehead of yours either Roger" -Pokanotis -"Clearly, the most boring prostitute in Bakersfield" -u look like u havent slept in a week. -How the hell do you get resting dreamworks face? -"Judging by your desperation and the vacancy behind your eyes I'm gonna guess you got your wires a little crossed regarding the words ""roast"" and ""fuck"". Also no thank you, mentally disabled people are off limits for me." -You look like a man who had a botched sex change. -The fact you come to Reddit of all places to get roasted by is enough roast imo -You look 47 -You certainly have the look of someone who would work out of a hotel room. -In a hotel room as a house? Looks like you've already roasted yourself. Need to find a rich simp -Beige -Why u look like u just got done eating ass -"Well, first of all you’re not 20…" -With that amount of foundation we could have kept the twin towers up -Hot tomily -Everyone keeps saying “you look like the kind of girl…”. What they mean to say is “you kind of look like a girl” -Generic TV ex-girlfriend #6 -"Forever the side chick, never the bride." -Kinda look like the mushroom guys in the first super Mario bros on Nintendo https://i.ytimg.com/vi/esg923XfHDI/maxresdefault.jpg -The light shines on everything but you -The stds inside of you will roast you harder than you can roast yourself. -If diet cola had a face. -Walmart brand Mosley from Meds Declassified -Getting pretty single lady to aging childless spinster to elderly lady wishing she had her time again vibes for your foreseeable. -Do you have to pay extra for the bags under your eyes when you fly? -Do you have to pay extra for the bags under your eyes when you fly? -Those two bags are something. No not those. The ones under your eyes. -The world’s first OnlyFails girl -Your skin actually looks like you have hepatitis -"When you roast yourself, what kind you become? Marshmallow, or very well done steak?" -I have not one word for you. Your flawless -The saddest part of this is that you're only going to go downhill from here. -Damn OP’s got balls posting here. Almost passing too. -No roast here. Would wear you like a pinkie ring. Giggity -Eh I rather take another shit. -"You definitely know what meth tastes like, thanks to brother daddy" -If store brand Vanilla ice-cream were a person… -Roasting isn't the only thing ill do hard for you -20? I suggest less sun more moisturiser. -Why tho -body of a 20s face of 40s -Those dimples seem tired of lifting the weight of your lackadaisical Face looking like a clown. -3/10 is not a compliment -You look like the person to give 1$ trucker blowjobs for crack -Sticking a dildo on either side of a narrow hallway is not the same kind of roast -More importantly what are you trying to do by exposing your chest? There's nothing to display -You have no life other than reddit -"Your hands are built like your 6'3""" -The only ones checking out your OF are 50 year old incels and your father's friends simply because they pity you -Mewing routine. More like 1$ blowjobs -Something tells me you’ve e been roasted by two men before -You seem as thick mentally as you are of body. -"""...officer, he was dressed as a woman..it was a man in a woman's dress. Your looking for a man""" -Im sure youve been roasted before by randoms... -Your titties couldn’t even Bridge the gap Between Israel and Palestine. -Damn that neckline had to come all the way down to your belly button for your cleavage to start? -"can't decide which is smaller, your will to live or your chest" -A female with Male tits and eyes. -Heroin is whooping your ass huh -"Who’s this? Sluttier, much less successful bargain bin Sasha Grey?" -At least WE know why your dad left. -Nice rack for a dude -You look like John Redcorn from King of the Hill. -You look like an Englishman -I’d hit it -More like 20F fifteen years ago. -You're only 20? -"Sorry baby, there’s nothing wrong to roast you about as far as I’m concerned!!!" -Oh fuck you look like every crazy ex girlfriend I've ever met. -It takes up to 5 to 53 facial muscles but for you your face is stuck in a state of apathy which makes it seem like you have something worse than people who have Bells Palsy. -Can't roast someone as beautiful as you😡 -Lil boy lips -"Three kids with different dads and trying your luck at only fans, but you only wear clothing that covers the stretch marks." -Your parents already roasted you to the max. -Even with a simple roast me post; your face looks like it's nagging me to take you to Paris. -Your smile lines have smile lines. -I'm pretty certain that having sex with you doggy style requires a strong resistance to the smell of shit. -"It's the ""i'm not a hooker i'm an escort"" look." -Did you get roast at the arcade bar too? -Baked Oats cooked beek Puked together- Your Ugly Face -"No, we don't wanna hear about your Tesla." -Bro you look 40 -I’ll bet you’ve done anal more times than mr slave just to save yourself for your one true love -If you guys put your thumb over the top half of her face look what happens. -Do you live in Thailand? I thought I saw you in a Ladyboy bar. -Ah i see you’re going for the dead inside look -Man face. -What’s your Only Fans? -Eyebrow trimmer on Aisle 5 -Your eyebrows look like pubes -“Free Palestine” 🇵🇸 -Proberbly have a totally ass character and completely rely on your looks -You look like dollar bin Sasha Grey. -Men aren't the only thing who swiped left on you... the way this photo was taken did too. -Marge? -You look like you’re struggling to keep in the just how how much you hate your smile. -*Edit: 28F -You didn’t say that to your Dad… -I see that Dr. Frankenstein is up to his old tricks — sewed an old man’s face onto a woman’s body. -20? If that’s true then you need to lay off the drugs cigarettes and alcohol! -How about you find a friend here in reddit? -Got them press on toenails on her hands 😅 -Jersey Poor -That has been a hard 20 years. -Every thought you’ve ever had about yourself is true -"Nice tv, seems like OF pays well. 😊👍👍" -I get really hot from that transgender look. Kiss me please. -If nail cancer is a real disease -You posted here for attention. Go touch grass. -Your transformation into the crypt keeper is really coming along. -That’s a rough 20 -I bet your step daddy does things harder to you. -"She is checking if she can be roasted by these ppl. -She thinks she's too cute for that, no you ain't!" -Is that cleavage or an elbow crease? ?!? You paid for those dimples. Foogazi... -"Smash -Or -Pass - -I smash" -She has a very big 'toy' collection 🍆🍆🍆 -You already look baked though -"Imagine her with a shaved head and a roll neck on. Her face is a dudes, i know yall can see that." -You didn't flip it properly on the photo its backwards. -You got a tattoo for your dead grandma but the rest of the family laugh about it because they know how much she hated you -Being a brunette must be tough. You've got to constantly remind people that your hair color isn't the reason you're smart and pretty — it's just a happy coincidence that you defy the blonde stereotype daily without even trying! -You look like your pussy smells. You know it. But you could care less. -Mia Khalifa from DHgate -Was Chyna from the WWE your mom? -Thank you for sparing us by only providing one picture -comment -Sir I know you miss your sister but there are better ways to cope than dressing like her -Swapped alcohol for meth I see -You look like Garth from Wayne's World put down the bottle and picked up the crack pipe. -I’ve seen buckets less pale than you -xQc when he's gambled away all his savings -Won't pick up a bottle again but how about a hair/make-up/tooth brush? -"Damn, you look like Aegon II after he was burned." -You’re a hot looking lady!!!…. Don’t let it bother you I’m into necrophilia -The face that launched a thousand “I’m gonna need something a bit stronger.” -"Congratulations on your sobriety, now you just have to quit the meth and heroin" -Have you ever thought about becoming an actress? You'd do great as a crackwhore in a Breaking Bad reboot -Your face looks as if you fell off a literal wagon. -Swapping alcohol for meth is not the win you seem to think it is. -Damn most people look better after getting sober. -What’s with these guys wearing women’s clothes? -"Methareys Targaryen: first of her name, ruler of the tent cities , hider of track marks , breaker of crack pipes , chaser of dragons" -You look pretty good for 63 -What was it like playing the twins from the Matrix reloaded? -I've been sober for 20 years and one look at you made me relapse. -Don't look in a mirror if you want to remain sober. -Sick Tom Holland with a wig. Spider-Man: Better stay at home -You look like I need another beer....or 10. -You look like you quit the bottle and started meth -Are you sure you aren’t the sister that died -"The mum said ""shit it's the wrong sibling"" - -The dad.... She still does not know his name." -"Congratulations on your sobriety! That is a huge milestone and accomplishment, of which, you should be very proud! Don’t let that addiction-demon use the tragic loss of your sister as a way to get its hooks back in you! - -Your sister is looking down on you and smiling! Your continued life brings her joy! In fact, she’s pointing at your nose right now with all the other angels and they’re all laughing at you together." -I plan to abort myself now. Hope it’s not too late. -The look of a junkie ready to snort a line off your dick. -"Are you sure you didn't die? You look like you just climbed out of a tomb. - -Losing a sibling young (you look around my age - mid 30s?) must be hard for anyone, let alone someone who has struggled with dependence. I hope you're receiving the support you need. Don't be afraid to seek professional medical help if you're struggling." -Pick up a bottle of what??? Bleach? 🤷🏿💯 -I bet a mirror can -As a recovering alcoholic I don't want to do that. Your strength is admirable to me. Especially since you look like death's grandpa himself anyway. -"Well sir, please accept my condolences on the death of your mother's only daughter." -It puts the lotion on its skin -I actually can't tell if you are a guy or not. -"I'm normally up for a good roast, but I had a quick look at your profile and you're just a pretty cool and kind person, so I'm just gonna say congrats on your sobriety and keep on being awesome 👍🏻" -But did you see your sister's spooky ghost? Is that what turned your hair white (except for your roots)? -I can smell you from Australia -" I need to get high just to get the picture of you out of my head, it’s that bad." -Are you the dead sister? -You shouldn't post pictures of your sister's corpse on reddit! That's trashy! Take this down! -"Hair says Slytherin, face says sluttering!" -Don’t jinx yourself -You need all the vitamines in the world -Targaryen incest at it finest -"You absolutely look like someone that everyone talks smack to in front of, rather than behind your back" -"maybe buy a mirror, take a good look, and your reflection will drive you straight to the nearest liquor store" -I think someone should tell god when this emaciated ghoul said “I like it rough” she was talking to the 1st trucker of the night not to HIM. But I guess everyone gets a turn. -You look like you're about to try to become a God and accost a group of heroic teenagers -Looks like Kurt Cobain woke up from death as a Zombie -You look like what I think of when people say Twink Death. -Please stop photographing her corpse and posting it here. -You look about as exciting as a packet of freeze dried egg noodle -"Looks like you’ve been dead for years. - -You’re the walking definition of “dead inside”. - -Why do you look like Johnny Depp and android 18’s offspring" -"You're trying to smile, aren't you? - -On a side note, sorry for your loss." -"You look like a vegan cat. I haven't said this to anyone before, but maybe you should start drinking again." -Ric Flair what happened to you? -Yeah and in 2 more years your sister is still going to look way hotter than you -"That coffee filter doesn't work like the Snapchat filters, still bad looking" -Id have to drink just to have a conversation with you -I thought we were roasting you? So why did you posted a picture of your dead sister? -The look that says I need to get laid . -Sober for over two years and look like you woke up from a two week bender. -WOMP WOMP -Why wouldn't you pick it back up the damage is clearly already done. -I knew Kirk Cobain was still alive -Great pic! You must be in the top 98% on OnlyTrans -“ My girlfriend is back pt.2”coming to a theater near you 🤭 -Your sister finally looks like you: pale as a ghost! -Why stop drinking now? The damage is clearly done. -Get back to making Uruk Hai. -Nah not gonna roast. Congrats on being sober and I'm so sorry for your sister. -How’s life in the house of Slytherin? -Congratulations on your sobriety Casper -You’ve been sober for two years?!…. You look like you’ve been dead for two years!! -Bottle? People are smoking crack out of bottles now?? -Is that a picture of your dead sister? -"If this is you sober over the last 2 years, would hate to think what you look like when you were on the bottle full time" -And just think… this is the “after” photo. -"Is ""death of your sister"" what you call your transition?" -I think you got 2yrs mixed up with 2 minutes. Meth will do that to you -"Are you sure you didn’t die too, but dead forgot to tell you? Could have fooled me." -Damn this title goes hard 🤣🤣 -Don’t do it. You are a champion. Don’t lose that. I’m a 61 year old alcoholic who just can’t quit. I need people like you to look up to and inspire me to try harder every day I wake up. I wish I could hug you and thank you. You are a vision of success -What could I do to you that your hair dresser hasn't already -"just popping in to say how amazing of an accomplishment that is. 2 years, WOW 🤩 I’m sorry for your loss, but am still very proud of you for staying strong 💪🏻 Props to you, nothing to roast here 😄 (…but people are gonna do it anyways hahaha 😆)" -You look 40 and 20 at the same time -You look the the before image of a face cleaning product. -Identifying as sober is not sober... is everyone dying to get away from you? -How do you eat with no lips? -You look 18 in white people years. -"Alcohol made you human, Sobriety made you a zombie. Isn't Squid Games looking for Extras?" -After seeing this pic I need to pick up a bottle -1000 yard stare ahhh -There's this thing outside called 'the sun'. You should go see it sometime. -I don't believe the sobriety part -I think you’re the dead sister’s ghost -"Grandma, get off the internet damnit!" -"Kesha, you dropped the dollar sign and every bit of youth you had at the same time" -Your therapist calls you financial security behind your back -Liquor won’t solve your problems get someone to talk to and congratulations on you being sober 💪 -Looking at you sobers me up pretty quick as well -"I believe you that you quit drinking 2 years ago, but I can tell from the picture your BAC just now got down to like a .14" -To honor your dead sister Just try to be the best brother you are -"I don't think your sister would want you to wallow, nor do I, I think you'll be able to rise above this if you can find enough people in your life to help you through this. - -On a seperate topic are you ok? Your looking a tad gaunt." -I know we’re here at her request. I see all these comments about her being ugly but ngl I honestly think she’s cute. No roast. I do however wonder if the writing the r/roastme on the coffee filter is an AA joke. If it was then that’s a very subtle and funny nod. Most people who would post themselves in this sub are probably cool af irl. -No roast. I’m sorry about your sister. -Wrong kid died! -Genetically accurate Targaryen. -"Calm down Bonnie, go change joes diaper." -"Well, after that and the death of your husband kurt cobain. Id be devastated too" -Hair of a labrabore with the face of a boxer -Someone has definitely picked up a bottle and smacked you over the head with it -"Bottle, huh? Of water, I assume?" -Don’t do this - put the phone down and focus on you. -What a handsome woman -Look like the girl that eats brain from I zombie . But more pale and dead looking -That’s your reflection. It’s not a dead sister. -Lookin like Hoemlaes Targaryen -Vermithor’s barbeque -"Somwhow, i look at you, and all i see is heroin" -Now i feel like picking up a bottle -"Damn, it looks more like you HAVENT been sober in over 2 years." -A white walker. -Congrats on the 2 years clean and sober....well maybe not the clean part -"The will to live left your eyes years before that. Dont worry, you can’t cave in when you feel nothing." -How? The bottle shatters from observing you face -Have you tried looking in the mirror? -Maybe next time don't pick up a bottle of bleach cause that hair is rooting for a change -You shall not pass -Pffft yeah right. California sober maybe. -I’m guessing your sister was the pretty one? -"Calm down there, alcoholic Longlegs." -Game of Drugs Daenerys lookin ass -"“You’ll do.” That never gets old at closing time, right?" -"No, I don’t want to." -So you picked up a hobby searching for phallic shaped objects. Nothing wreaks of desperation here. -"When you tell people you need something between coffee and cocaine, you mean crack." -Maybe pick it up and see if that helps. -Your spicy tolerance like your hair -This is by far the lamest role Jennifer Jason Leigh has played. -"You look like you forage for mushrooms on a daily basis. - -Also, congradulations on holding on to sobriety. Genuine remark there." -No. Alcohol is sober from you -sure it's ur sister that's dead? mortician makeup -You got sober cuz even drunk guys didn't wanna fuck your ugly ass -More like 2 minutes sober -I won’t try to make you pick up a bottle again but gals at r/bottlefuckgirls might be able to help -"""We have Kahleesi at home."" - - -*Kahleesi at home*" -lol you’re sober? -Didn't know the king from house of dragons was cross dressing -You definitely have your sister's eyes -You look like you give a musty hug -I can see why you drank. -You’re paler than a ghost and people would often misjudge you for a ghost -You look like you smell like 3-day-old cat shit stuffed in the crevice of the backseat of your car...and menthols. -"""Somebody save me, Me from myself, I've spent so long livin' in hell, They say my lifestyle is bad for my health, It's the only thing that seems to help.""" -I knew Kurt Cobain was still alive! Bring back tupac! -does your body know that you are sober? -"Look sober doesn't mean you quit alcohol and started hitting cocaine, you have to get rid of that power ASAP." -Girl if your gonna drink then you make that decision on your own don’t try to guilt trip use with your pale self . Soberity is a decision only YOU can make !!! Congrats on two years ma’am please get some sun 🌞 -"As the song goes “Tonight the Bottle Let Me Down”. - -If written about you it would’ve been titled “Tonight Your Face Made My Dick Go Down”" -"Finally, the Blair Witch Project “witch” revealed." -I appreciate your translucence..... I'm sorry...your transparency. -"Holy shit, one of the Targaryen Bastards" -"1 down, 2 to go." -Every time I refresh Reddit I think I fell on a wrong sub looking at this face. -"Congrats on being sober… Now spend 2 years and get some fucking sun light, Vampiress" -Someone left that troll doll in the sun too long -27 going on 57 over here is trying out for a part in the next Children of the Corn reboot. -"If your taking about a bottle of bleach, of course you can't pick it back up, you dropped it, it smashed and then you slipped over in it... - -Well I think that's maybe what happened..." -You look like if they ripped the pretty off a Barbie doll. -"Hey! Look! This is a Blonde ROast! - -(I am so sorry. I could not resist the pun. It was mandatory since she looks like she is holding a coffee filter anyway)" -Why drink when you clearly have all that meth you enjoy -"I'm sorry for your sister. The silver lining is that you have an easy answer when they ask ""Why the long face?""." -Never thought in my life I would see an Albino Queer Alan Rickman -You live in Ohio.life has already roasted you. -Looking like Helmeppo from the life action tv-show One Piece. -Quitter. -"Yay, Ozzy is alive and well!!" -You look like you are few months away from being a meth addict -Nah. You continue being sober for your sister. Roasting is only fun when people deserve it. -If skeletor lived in a trailer park. -Just stopping to say I’m proud of you 🫶🏼 -Never saw a White Walker with a nose ring before -Are you sure you aren’t already a ghost -Can’t blame your sister for opting out… -Targaryen bastard -Ai Corey Feldman -Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain if they were mashed together by A.I. -Trailer Swift concert looks like shit -You say sober but I guess we'll just overlook the meth. -Buffalo Bill glow up. -Corpse Bride cosplay. -"I don't like criticizing, even humorously, people who have gone through what you've gone through. So, good on you for persevering. However, this is a roast me sub so hang on to your hat: the left and right pictures of the mushrooms do not appear to be perfectly parallel to each other! How can you live with yourself?" -Slowly turning into the Poltergeist -Your picture is going to make us all drink. -"Not here to roast but to commend your strength, keep up the good fight." -"I know you’re blonde, but you have to realize that getting roasted won’t make you any more tan." -Is that Courtney Nolove? -Holy shit! Morlocks are real! Run Eloi! Run! -You make Edgar Winter look like George Hamilton -Coffee filters work as post its and toilet paper. -You could make bank playing an inbred Targaryen -voldemort on another verse -Your a man -Replacing alcohol for hard drugs is not a good trade off. Put down the meth. -Looking Helter Skelter over there. -Yes but switching to bleach isn’t helping you any. -"All jokes aside, I'm sorry to hear for your loss. I believe in you!" -You look like you’re the welcoming committee at a haunted house -Machine Gun Kelly from Temu -Looks like you wore your long legs today -So was “roast me” already written on the coffee filter so you remember how it works or was that just a coincidence? -"I don't know, sleep deprived Qucksilver from the X-men movies. Can I?" -"Party On, Garth!" -And in what year were you made vampire? -I feel like I’m cursed to die in 7 days. -You might not need a drink but I sure as hell do now  -"Oh, I've never seen a zombie on this sub Reddit before!" -Christian Bale is really going all out for his role as a Lot Lizard. Fuck that dude is a generational talent -Your sister or your death? It looks like post mortem photo. -Roast? Coffee filter? Please tell me you didn't brew her ashes. -Pretty fucked up that you dressed up your dead sister and put a roast me sign in her hand. -You were born to be a Targaryen bastard -"Kesha, I knew your career was fading but I didn't know it was this bad....." -"Congrats on beating alcoholism, time to get started on the meth habit." -I bet your Sister's face looks more alive than yours -Why did you post a picture of your sister’s corpse? -"You look midwest sober, where you don’t drink but you still crank meth." -Is this one of those post mortem pics? -Give up the bottle picked up the crack pipe -We're proud of you. You're doing great. -Da fuq -Transmorion Targaryen. -Do the rest of the Hansens know you've hit rock bottom? -"You're not sober, you jamoke. Look at your fucking nails, dude." -"You know, denial is not just a river in Egypt. Drinking it through a straw still counts" -"Being sober for 2 years is a lot less impressive when you’re 300 years old, just saying." -Who let you out of the Pit of Despair? -I admire your determination to never pick up a bottle of self tanning lotion again. -How long have you been a ghost? Is the after life fun? -Luna lovegood really let herself go -You sure you weren’t the one who died 2 years ago? -Dakota Fanning looks like shit -"Riff Raff is a Transylvanian who came to Earth with his sister Magenta and his master, Frank-N-Furter." -Your nose is giving me a side eye. -You look like you ate her -This is actually the ghost of the sister. This is not a human look! Honestly just look it's a fucking ghost. -You look like you could have been sober for 2 years just not the last 2 -Put down the bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide -Looks like you’d masterbate with razor blades -She looks like she wonders daily how the barrel of a pistol tastes. -Are you vulnerable to dragonglass? -God. I cant imagine who looks better. You or your dead sister -2 years sober from the sun. -"Guess you really didn't care then, huh?" -Did you make a skin suit out of your sister? -You look like you’ve been dead for 2 years. Say hi to your sister for me. -I want to pick up a blindfold -"If Garth and the weird ass butler dude from Rocky Horror had a child, you were the thing that spawned from that" -"I've been sober for four years, and a face like that makes me shake." -"OMG! I loved you in ""Orange is the new Black""!" -Queen cheryl here searching for her young black boyf frbut wrong platform -Your nails look like you tried to dig the corpse of your Sister with your own hands -Your sister died of embarrassment. -Pam Beasley’s lookin rough these days -How can I roast you any more than what God already did? -I’ve been sober for 10 years. You’d look a lot better if I picked up the bottle again. -you look like you were brought back from the dead to check out r/roastme -"Do you have a ""sober"" picture?" -Holy shit the girl from the ring grew up and died her hair -You look like you’ve been sober 2 minutes. -"Dude if you’re 2 years sober, I’d hate to see what you looked like when you were on the sauce." -The blonde grudge -"It’s probably for the best you stay sober, save the booze, anyone who might be willing to fuck you needs it more" -"No roast here. Just wanted to commend you for being an absolute beast of a human. - -Good for you, and sorry for your loss." -Ok but why would you post a picture of your dead sister body in here? you are supposed to show us your pictures -Your unroastable. I cannot do that to someone 2 years sober. You have my respect. -You and your twin were insanely talented in the Matrix 2. I see you got rid of the dreads -A young Saruman. -I won't roast you. I will encourage you to seek therapy. -"I can see why you're into self love. I mean, who else is gonna love something like that?" -I didn't know xqc transitioned. -You're looking mighty cadaverous. Are you sure you aren't your sister's risen corpse? -Do you know this cool guys and gals with a tooth pick in their mouth? Please do it with an old rusty iron nail -I'm proud of you david spade if only you could have helped chris Farley with his sobriety and now you're sister and Farley are together in hell doing speed balls -White walkers should be scared of alcohol -"If this is what you look like sober, might as well go back to drinking" -You never put the pipe down though -I bet your sister looks more alive than you do. -"Idk what they told you, but makeup and shampoo have 0.0% abv, so it's safe to use them" -Be careful what you wish for (from somebody who just got 6 months after many years of daily drinking) -Isn’t there a graveyard you should be haunting somewhere? -I got 5 bucks on your sister looking more alive than you -You look like someone tried to draw 2024 Britney Spears from memory. -"Congrats on quitting drinking, but if sobriety makes you look like you’re aging in dog years, maybe it’s time for a cheat day." -Crack-head Cobain -Did you take her wig and clothes too? -"I don’t want you to pick up a bottle again, but maybe some antidepressants would help." -christine bale -I bet your sister is better-looking than you even now. -That’s tough. I know the brother sister bond is special. ♥️ -Looks like the bastard child of Kurt Cobain and a Targaryen. -I don't judge a book by a cover but your face seems clipped -"Can't make a comment if you just post the ""before"" photo. Where is the after?" -"I come here to let my horrible, angry, vile shit out. With that opening I just can't. I'm sorry. Keep on keeping on. I truly wish you all the best in life. Also please don't come back here with your self destructive $#!t." -I can't tell if you're in your 20s or your 60s. -You look exactly what I thought a mushroom enthusiast would look like. -"You have suck pretty blond hair , why would you dye the roots brown ?" -"I think you meant to post your photo on -r/swordorsheath because if you're a woman, that alcohol really did a number on you." -That would be like dating a sun-bleached Danny Partridge. -What was the name of that Targaryen brother of Dany again? -You sure it’s not you who’s dead? -If the girl from the ring did crack and dyed her hair blonde... -You made me pick up the bottle just by looking at your picture. Geez. -"Are you sure you're not the one who died? You're looking awfully pallid Edgar Allan Hoe. - -(Congrats on being sober for 2 years! One Day At A Time)" -"Sorry that Aemond burned your junk off, but at least you escaped King's Landing with Larys." -Wow….maybe try some Meth….maybe -"You look exactly like howie, who hides in the closet all day from the sun, off of the benchwarmers" -One day at a time… -Look like a man wearing his dead sisters skin -"great on your achievement, but crack isn't a good substitute." -Substituting alcohol with meth creates more problems than it solves. -Did your mother have any children that lived? -I still say your sister's hotter than you. -"You're meant to post pictures of yourself, not the dead one" -"Are you getting ready to do the Time Warp again, Riff Raff?" -"Good morrow, Aegon Targaryen" -Got the body of a skinny women and face of a 34 yr old man who scams scammers -"You're not the one who needs the booze. Anyone willing to fuck you is going to need thick beer goggles or a paper bag, though." -Daenerys Targaryen is she was inflammable -"You can take the meth out of a woman, but not out of her face" -"Let's be real, all you really need is a mirror and that'll do the job." -"If this picture were a book, it would be ""A witch: the teenage years.""" -Elsa after years of drug abuse -Ah yes. The poster child for when recovery becomes your whole personality because otherwise you don't have one. -Where did you hide her body my man -Ashy Lauren -"Sir, did you turn into your sister?" -"No. I’m very proud of you. Cut your fingernails and wash your hands, please." -Your role in The Time Machine was good -You look like your sisters Ghost. -When you’re so broke that coffee filters pass for Paper in your household. -"Are you a man or a woman? - -Is that just-performed-an-exorcism shade of off white, pee yellow hair natural or did you actually choose that color?" -"Dude, get out of your sister’s clothes" -"The sequel to Pyscho. - -Norman Bates sister dies so he starts dressing up like her instead of his mom for awhile." -First you need to stop using sandpaper on your face. -Do you have a penis or a vagina? -"It's odd, you look like you're simultaneously in your 20's and 50's." -comment -"Look, I get that the economy is bad, but you don't need to wear your curtains and never wash your hair😒" -She got big panties -"You dress like a 70's Howard Johnsons hotel room, which I guess is probably appropriate for someone who looks like a 70's lesbian librarian." -You have a husband buried under each room of your house. -"she looks like she hands out books, and Brussel sprouts to kids on Halloween" -"Every time you lie about your weight, you get a freckle." -Doth mother know you wear-eth her drapes? -I bet your only fans account is Librarian porn that no one checks out… -"Couldn’t settle on Mormon, Mennonite, or Amish so you went for an amalgam?" -At second pics you look like agressive feminist lesbian. -"The calm, serene expression as she boils your cat because you forgot to respond to a text." -Radical feminist lesbian art teacher that forces students to make clay vaginas -"Guessing you power-shifted from ""awkward teenager"" into ""homely matron.""" -I feel bad for the herpes -Aren't you the teacher who hit my father with a ruler in 1953? -Look like a fucking vending machine -"Face of a 35yr old - -Body of an ape 🦧" -You look like you run a motel with your son Norman -Cate Blandchett. -I didn't know Amish lesbian porn was a thing -I’m a F35 alcoholic drug addict chain smoker for the past 18 years and I still look better than you lol thx -Tablecloths are not a good fashion statement -I could've sworn that Barbara died in season 1 of Stanger Things. -you look like Ryan Gosling in that last pic -I bet we could easily guess when you gave up on white men if you posted like 6 more pictures -You look like you run an autistic-only library -35 going on to 50 -meh…the sun will roast her enough -If you look at OP’s history you can see she has herpes. Imagine herpes not being the worse part about you. -Are you cosplaying as the Grandma from Little Red Riding Hood? -You look like if Megan Fox got left in a convection oven. -Are the other two toothbrushes for your cats? -It kept getting worse the more I swiped. Thank god there were only three photos. If there were any more I’d have to watch Old Yeller or Schindler’s List to get you out of my head and feel better about life. -Fashion by “Forever 63” -You look like you'd be upset that Kamala lost -"You look like the good lord decided to give you a nice face but then something more important came up, so he decided to leave the rest of you up to the angel that's responsible for all the special needs kids." -Personality traits include sun damage and anal. -You look like Warren Jeffs passed on you for being “too Mormon looking.” -Neck up = 5.5; Neck down = 240 -"Good news - Face exercises are keeping the top lean - -Bad News - Swallowing isnt helping in the overall BMI" -"those are some ""birthing hips"" and perfect for the handmaiden tale." -"Hey, its the lady(?) from the Valtrex ad!" -Your hair looks like sweet noodles and your face looks like your face cream was a scam -Star of The Tragic School Bus -Those freckles make it look like someone threw dog shit at you through a screen door. -Just woke up and hopped on Reddit. Saw your face and for some reason thought this was tinder and automatically kept trying to swipe left. -Donna from 70s show but she eats only processed foods -And the award for the Saddest Drunkest Elementary Teacher goes to……. -You look like you vagina has been closed since the original Woodstock. -Donald Frump -Vanilla finds you plain. -You only date black guys but it’s not by choice -if the Undertaker was non-binary -get a load of brienne of tarth over here -You dress like my grandma's couch -I’m glad she mentioned she was female because I had no idea. -You’re like a human mayonnaise sandwich -The typical english school teacher who for whatsoever reason becomes pregnant every school year -You look like you're one of those youtube ASMR -Who brought there fucking 70s sofa to the pub? -You look like a (24 going on 50) Mormon woman who converted to Southern Baptist for the bake sales and sins. -I see even the price of food hasn't slowed you down your catch phrase must be ill finish that! -"She look like she's trying to be an influencer, but the only thing she could influence people to do is jump off a bridge." -Amish hipster  -Does Mrs Doubtfire know you raided his wardrobe? -You shouldn’t assume your identity… -If Minnesota Milf was a category you’d be 5th most popular. -Found the person that spreads STDs at the old person's home. -Which one of your sister-wives gave you HSV? -I can smell the cat piss through my phone. -You look like my third grade teacher from the 80s. Way before teachers were attractive. And you probably smell like Fresh Step. -What's your skin to freckle ratio? -You face looks like it was grafted on you in that first image -do maw and paw know you've been acting out on the interwebz? -You look like you keep your dildos in separate Tupperware containers. -"You're what everyone imagines when they hear ""ex-wife""" -Your face says 35 but your body says 53 and 7 kids. -You look like your Only Fans is free. -Plug it up plug it up -You look like a lesbian grandmother -If generic was a person -Guarantee you’ve been with more men than you have lived on earth. -Onlyfan page not working out? -Just walkout for 30 minutes with no sunscreen mother earth herself will roast you. -Morbidly Mormon. -Looking at you makes vanilla taste spicy -Youre the oppsite of a butter face. Butter consumer -Miss Doubtfire the prequel to MRS. Doubtfire. -"I watched a documentary about Fundamentalist Mormons and their hair looked just like yours in the second picture, although — they did it better." -"Looks like Becky, dresses like Roseanne." -These three pictures are a cautionary tale for why you can't trust camera angles. -"The first picture might only take 6 beers. -The second picture would take 6 times that." -"First picture you're kinda ok, but the second one you look like Mrs. Doubtfire wearing grandma's duvet cover" -You dress like a can of air freshener. -Proudly working Glory holes at every penecostal church restroom throughout Kentucky -Little meth on the prairie. -You look like my mum.... I'm also 35 😶 -You look like you are selling farts in a jar to pay off your mortage. -Award-nominated actress Hope(less) Davis. -Wearing your Christmas tree skirt is not a fashion statement for the better -"little house on the prairie thought it had ""sex appeal""" -That second picture leads me to believe Barb escaped from the upside down -"1935, you mean?" -You dress like you are 80. Is that a curtain you are wearing? -“Female” -Aunt Bee meets Mrs. Doubtfire. -I highly doubtfire that those garments were originally purposed for wearing. -"The 70's called, they want their curtains back. " -The ultimate mid. Like a butterface but it's everything altogether. -I bet you were Donna Pinciotti for Halloween this year -You look like Kent from Real Genius -Warren Jeffs would even pass on you -Mrs DeepFatFryer on the count of the greasy hair -35 going on 60 with those clothes -You look like 1970's 35. -You look exactly like about a dozen people I know. -Imagine having a mom body and no children. -You must have a terminal case of yuck mouth. Your toothbrushes look completely unused. -You look like you tried to be an Instagram model but had to settle for a middle-aged eye surgeon and when that got tedious you moved back to North Dakota. -Your dermatologist hates your guts. -Recovering Amish discovers lesbianism -"Oh God, I just realized you have genital herpes and don't shave your armpits. You are also looking for a man. I am defeated. You won, just put me out of my misery." -Does your leader Warren Jeffs know you’re out of the stable on Reddit? -"Don't worry, there is always a guy with a giantess fetish" -When did the Amish allow cell phones? -Its weird that just by looking at you I know that you smell really bad. - Rumspringa is over. It’s time go home. -You definitely are on at least 3 different anti anxiety/anti depressants right now. -Sanding off your freckles doesn't give you any more soul -"lemme guess, no kids?" -Started off as the cute girl from. That 70's show and went straight to Jehova's witness. -"Giving a whole new meaning to ""does the carpet match the drapes""" -"Irish ass, wide as a freeway and flat as a pancake." -Got the twice divorced 3rd grade teacher look. -Tori Almost -Holy shit you are the most undesirable female I've ever seen just buy cats -"Beautiful eyes, to bad they were put in that pumpkin!" -You look like you catfish guys all the time on bumble. Face is a 4 and body is a 0. -Serious “Youth Group Leader” vibes… -"Pentecostal showing shoulders, that’s pretty edgy" -How many wives do you have with your husband? -I can already smell the cat piss on your clothes. -"It's 2024, you don't need to make your own clothes." -Didn't know grandmas couch blanket was also a dress -I saw this chic on sister wives. -You look like a lesbian art teacher in their mid 40’s in the second picture. -Thanks for pointing out that you were female; I wasn't sure. -"It really is so nice to see, indeed few things are more delightful to behold than a woman in her prime.. - -Can you post a pic from say like a decade and a half ago ?" -you’re 35 but your pussy is 87 -If a 1960s school teacher got on Reddit and Tinder…. And had to live with life in 2024 -Scarlet Broke-hanson in a wig. -Ok granny….Time to pick up the crayons and wash the play-doh out of your hair -She looks like she swallows unenthusiasticly. -So you gonna tell us what happened in picture 2? Or should we just guess. -Your face looks like an AI version of the most average looking woman on the planet. -butterframe -Halloween is over. You can take off the Mormon grandmother costume. -You went from hot to amish in one swipe -"You look like 3 different people in your pictures, i don’t know which one to roast. I guess the giant who dresses like a grandmother" -45 dressed like 85. -Mrs. Doubtfire? -You look like you are on your way to establishing an OF for the mennonites. -so thats where my grandmas pillowcase went😞🤔 -You look like an American Girl Doll that some fairy brought to life. -"your so dumb, you couldn't even spell the words in the right direction.." -What in the LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE is going on here -2nd picture gives me Brienne of Tarth ordered by wish vibes -Do you regret sleeping with Jaime Lannister? Don’t you wish you went with the wildling instead? -"You're not just a pentecostal, you're a ""penny-costal""" -You know she’s the head wife because she’s allowed a phone and internet access. -Strangely alluring and yet terrifying at the same time … like you’d be lethal with a wooden spoon. Might be fun to find out. :-p -Why are we roasting Ms. Frizzle? -you look like if shredded wheat was a person. -You're actually very lovely. Except in pic two. That is just horribly awful. -May be the hottest woman at the barn raising. -"Face like a high school gymnast, body like a highschool cafeteria." -Are you Amish? -Bro don’t get me started on that chocolate chip face -"If your hips were any wider, they belong to two people." -"Hey baby, you can organize my Church Bazaar any time! ;)" -Didn't know Bus Upholstery was still a Hipster trend... -Stuck Between… genders? -You look like a wonderful mother in law -I want to hold your big fat body -I like a sturdy looking woman. -Surprised there's no string bikini pic -We all know you did not get those lips from sucking doorknobs!! Keep up the good work. -Nobody wants the eggs of this hen. -"No ring. -/thread." -"It’s not 1925, you can wear clothes above your ankles. Wait, don’t - we don’t want to see your kankles" -When the librarian eats the kids instead of shushing them -Librarian chic is a vibe now? -All those hideous table cloth dresses and yet somehow you still completely blend into the background unnoticed. -Amish -You look like old sex...pretty face but a body like spoiled milk -Gonna have to seriously step up that hair bun if you want to become hubby’s fave sister-wife! -"36? Fuck me! Why are you dressing like an 80+ granny? -You're single aren't you!" -"Was gonna say ""I'd fuck you"" 'til I saw the other 2 pics" -Your life story bsgins and ends at chapter 11 -The VonTrap family's less successful neighbor. -That second one makes you look like the teacher no one wants to find out they have at the top of the school year. -Are u a pastors wife. Man your fashion sense is terrible. -Milf -You're fat and have herpes! -Are you Amish or Mormon? -"I'm seriously wondering if you go out of your way to find ridiculously funny looking outfits lol. Like what goes through your head in the morning, ""those tablecloths look like they would make a great dress""?" -Gingers have no soul. -Pic 2…Mormon or cult? -Looks like Pearl at 45 and single with 17 cats -you maybe 35 but the fashion sense matches 55+ yo lady -You practice clapping for the plane landing while still at home. -Hope your wearing those grandma panties -They’re giving the Amish phones now? -Wishes handmaids tale was real -You’re an dead ringer for my aunt Mary in 1980 -You look like a blind kindergarten teacher after 30 years in the business. -"The dress isnt hiding anything, you bowling pin" -I've never seen anyone mount a garage door sideways before as a bathroom door to accommodate their ass.. but if it works it works 🤷‍♂️ -"Honey, this ain't your momma's prayer meeting. You look like you had an affair with the fat and ugly assistant pastor." -too eager to be a grandma looking ahhh -Temu Amber Heard aka the real Amber Turd. -Were you cosplaying as a polygamists wife? What’s up with the hair and curtain dress? -Why are you wearing grandma’s curtains? -Could drive a truck across that forehead. -"Someone should have told you about yourself a long time ago. You have a smug I’m too pretty look, but honey you are far from it !" -English teacher -"You defended Winterfell well, Brianne of Tarth." -salt and pepper is considered spicy in your household -You look like the type who asks to speak to the manager… at a farmer’s market. -"You look like someone that uses the fact that they will make it to the age of 80, a virgin as a way to lord it over people/ power your smugness. - -Little do you know: Not only does no-one care. People would have guessed if you didn't insist on telling them." -Not sure if I like your face or your body less. But you look like you only cook with salt pepper and Misses Dash if you’re feeling spicy. -Look 40yrs old. -"I mean, does it take 3 toothbrushes to get the shame out of your mouth from going down on guys searching for “the one” that will stay. The “Hers” body soap/wash is a great idea considering all the crevices you no doubt have under your floral 3X table clothe clothes." -You're dressing older to get a cheaper bus fare -Hiding a lot of comfort eating with the “I teach 2nd grade” outfit. -When Amish Girls Go Wild -The sheik sisterwife -You're definitely a biscuit tin half empty type of gal. -Please keep your pictures to yourself. Some of us are having lunch -You look like photos from 1975 -1 to 2 was a jump scare -If you're not in a cult and still dress like that then I'm lost. -"You know what you'd look great in?, the rear view mirror." -Bait and switch. First picture looked good. second picture scared me. Then add HSV and I’m out. -librarian or Amish. -I’ve never seen a red headed Amish lesbian. -Get a fashion consultant ASAP -You got the 3 and the 5 the wrong way round -"This looks identical to a picture my grandma showed me of her mom during the depression, but she was actually affected by the depression. - -You know. - -Physically. - -Because they didn’t have much to eat." -You look like you only give your man head on his bday 😑 -Your eyebrows are disappearing just like the chances of washing your hair -2nd pic looks a lot like my Step-mother. Why am I getting hard???? -It’s nice that you made use of that extra tablecloth and turned it into a dress -How often do you get it. Cuz you look fucked -"How did you go from cute pic 1 to -WTF Ugg pic 2 -I bet your nipples drip pic 3 - -Just kidding. Honestly you’re very pretty, but goddamn pic 2 WHAT EVER THAT IS DONT!! -lol." -35 but dress like you’re 95 -You better hurry up and delete this post before your cult leader gets home or you're in trouble. You look like when you say you're 35 you mean you're wife number 35 -You look pretty smug for a girl with uneven eyebrows. -Voted teacher most likely to sleep with a 8th grader 5 years in a row -Are they starting a new season of Sister Wives or is she selling curtains in Sodom and Gomorrah? -35 going on 50 -Girl built like a bowling pin lmao -Don't you mean FEED ME! -Kindergarten teacher cosplaying isn’t something people pay attention too. -You aren't married to Warren Jeffs anymore... -Roast you? I wanna marry you - or at least cheat on my wife with you. -Take away the second pic ew not bad -Siri what is the Dutch for sad and drab -Amish hooker. -How many sister wives do you have? -is the sourdough done yet? -No way millennial Carrie! Did you all learn nothing from the prom?!?! -Looking at your pics is the only swipe right you’re going to get. Photo 2 looks like your shout pivot when moving up their stairs. -"Oh I’m afraid you’re roasting yourself by wearing that dress. - -((Otherwise I think you’re quite pretty))((not a guy hitting on op))" -35 and dresses like Mrs doubtfire 'Help is on the way dear!' -"For someone with such a nice looking pair of tits, its a shame you dress like a blind grandmother from a small shitty town." -" has entered the chat. - -JSmith\_Rizzy - Sup Shawty ?" -"If not for your eyes, I’d say start over … maybe I can cut eyeholes just the right size" -"We’re the same age, but fuck you make me feel like I’m aging pretty well" -GILF -I feel sorry for your dog -"“Excuse me… EXCUSE ME… Ummm do you have permission to be here? Tell me your name right now or I’m calling the police!” - -OP probably" -Please put the curtains back. Grandma is getting too much sun -"Is there a shorter way to describe your style than: ""former member of a polygamous cult chic""?" -"We want dem thots -Thot Thot thot -Thotty thot - -When we see you walk -Let those jiggles be jigglin -Your face don’t match yo ass -That’s ok - -Yah yah -Yah -Yah - -Purple panties -Dancing like a French maid - -She a freak -She wear nothin on Sunday -If you miss your brunch -Tell her open up dem legs -Cause you hungrrryy. - -All we need is thots -Thotty thot Thotty thot" -I can't even make a joke about how I would smash but not tell anybody because herpes. -So how much money did Motel 6 charge for those curtains your stole to make that blue dress? -Bruhhh why you wearing yo grandma's damn dining room curtains -Amber Heard’s uglier fatter more delusional cousin -"From the first picture I thought you were slim at best, but then I scrolled and found out you’re just fat" -"How is your face skinny, and your body built like a whole fridge?" -I’ll bet you’re really nice to your cats. -When did the little house on the prairie start getting iPhones? -35 going on 65 -I bet your farts smell and taste like a bloody Mary with too much pickle juice. -Male hair salon’s business must be blooming -Spinster since '78. -"Besides the fact that you’re wearing your grandmothers curtains, you’re quite a handsome female." -Mr Doubtfire -You are 35 but you dress like 60s -"I’m happy you told us female, because I wouldn’t be able to tell" -Are you standing next to ugly towels so that the tablecloth you are wearing is only half as ugly.... -Someone call Little House on the Prairie and tell 'em we found Laura Ingalls -roast you? you couldn't fit in a crematorium -You’re the hottest 48 hour postmortem floating in a river corpse I’ve seen in a while. -Five Night's At English Teacher's -"You have beautiful eyes, but since this is roast me. Fuck you" -U being that pale shouldn’t take long. -Makes sense why you had to put female otherwise we wouldn’t have known but jumping from 50 to 35 is to much -You just need to burn the curtain dress.... that is HORRIBLE! -Sorry about Tim and harris -You were good until you decided to try out for Little House on the Prairie. Burn the dress. -You look both like some teenage twins (a boy and a girl) and their grandma that rise them. -Just pearly things look alike.... -Why? Your dresses have already roasted your sex life. -You have deceptively thin facial features. -Grandma want her wardrobe back -U stupid slut -35 without summers -Butch Mary Poppins. -The sister wives audition pictures -Your prison name is Big Ging -Why didn't you post any pictures with your handmaid's uniform? -You're 35 not 60 you don't have to dress like my 5th grade English teacher -You’ve got that “Mother is not pleased” aura. Your 7 cats must be terrified. -"On a positive note, you look like a first wife." -Well no only do you have no soul but you have no sense of fashion! -"You’re wearing my grandmother’s shower curtain in the second pic, and that haircut screams “I like pussy but I’m too uptight to ask for it so I’m lonely and angry”. The other two pics are relatively normal ig" -The first picture wasn't too bad but the others convinced me you've thrown a radio into a bathtub with a toddler. Yikes! -I wish they gave a chip for 16 hours sober! -That dress screams “casting couch for wizard. Show me your wand” -whoever gave you your sense of fashion committed a terrible act of abuse. 😔 -It’s like my grandmas old ass floral print chair came to life and tried to thirst -You look like a grandma -"Mrs. Doubtfire called, She wants her dress and glasses back" -Nah I can't. I'm gonna make you cry -35? Questionable. Female?....also questionable. -Awww you look like a sweet mom -You look like you’d either shame me for eating more than all natural ingredients as a snack and not being afraid of 5G or you’d offer to take in your child’s queer/trans friend because their parents kicked them out. No in between. -"Looks like you need a drink … would prefer whiskey, rums or vodka" -Hoping a guy gives her a ring cuz she’s built like the liberty bell -Pretty eyes but damn that's like a dress my grandma would wear. 😅 I could wrap me and my 14 kids in that thing during the cold months. -comment -You don’t need Reddit to roast you when you can go and ask your parents how they feel about you -Don't look too happy there cumdog millionaire. -You know the economy is in rough shape when Dunder Mifflin is outsourcing Dwight too -The Indian jeffrey dahmer -"I said no hip ops, -No hippie, no oppie, -To the chip, chip shop and you don’t stop the fryin’, -To the Bangalore-boogie, say you let down the family. -To the rhythm of the sitar, you flee." -When you got those glasses did you specifically request the biggest dumbest looking ones they had? -"When you dream of being a Radiologist , enroll as Orthopedic Surgeon and End up as a taxi driver." -"U sob cracked neet pg and dropped it???? - -u deserve the wrath of r/indianmedschool" -I'll only destroy you if you pay me $5000 in Walmart gift cards -"Dropped out of surgery, disowned by your parents and found a new love flying the rainbow flag working at Starbucks. #girlpower" -Too bad you can't afford better glasses now. -This is the beginning of the end for you. You quit because you were protecting your ego and now your life is in a downward spiral -27M is it years or number of times you Master*cough* in a day -"i feel molested, scammed and stink bombed just by looking at this picture" -At least they still haven’t canceled Mr. Potatohead in India. -How does it feel even after become Doctor you can't make your Dad proud? -I thought all Indians were supposed to be super smart -You look like an Indian Jeffrey Dahmer. -"""Doctor"". How much was the fake qualification?" -"An Indian doctor? - -How very unique. 🙄" -"You look like someone who became doctor through SC/ST Reservation. -(Only Indian audiences will get it)" -Ortho? You didn’t go into gyno to meet white women? -Tell me you were the kid who brought a briefcase to high school without telling me you were the kid who brought a briefcase to high school. -I bet your future uber car smells like Indian food and drakar air freshener -Indian doctor huh -No. I’m not going to Target to get you some gift cards. -You have an ego? And you look like that? That doesn’t make sense. -Can you help fix my microsoft computer -Maybe for your next residency spend more time learning and less manicuring ur beard 😐 -I see a spiderman trying to close the gap between the teeth -"Orthopaedic surgery is hard bro, have you thought about what you want to try next ?" -"go back to school kid, finish what you started it will set you up for life...or be a uber driver theres loads of them." -We called you Dr Bitch -Now you can make flying coconut drinks and the best Soda as a street vendor. -The only reason you dropped out is because you realize orthopedics can’t make your dick bigger -"If you’re a doctor who quit, you can go into the black market and offer discount surgeries where you really steal a kidney from them." -"Everything’s outsourced these days, even Alvin The Chipmunk" -Here is an option: https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/RDAIxld3Zb -"Why would you go through all of the struggles getting into med school, the actually doing med school, applying for residency, just to drop out?" -"you look rly good with the short trimmed hair !  -sorry I know that's not a roast just saying 😆" -You're def the kind of doctor who calls up female patients after work and pester them to visit you because they need a thorough examination. -"I’m a straight man, and I think you’re hot bro" -"Go back medicine, we need you" -You dropped out of Ortho??!! You could even keep up with the neanderthals of the medical world and hit shit with hammers?? -Dropped out or they saw you selling feet pics and expelled you? I feel like they walked in saw you covered in foot cream with a sock in your mouth and said we’ve seen enough. -Your picture sounds like you're going to answer my customer service questions -What’s your new career path? Gas station attendant or call center? -So what's next ? Own a 7-Eleven? -"You can make money by helping people heal, or make chapati's and feed people. Your call. We start life as many men and end up as one man. Choose wisely." -Even the Aghori would say no thanks -Why would you have an ego? -"You could have done what my daughter has insisted her future will be since she was 4- becoming a doctor of orthopedics. Instead, you chose the path of least resistance- a future of abusing old people over the phone to get gift cards." -Pictures you can smell -"What a lovely man, I hope your dominatrixes treat you very well. Good boy." -I feel very sari for you. -"Your cousin is never going to marry you now, loser. - -Enjoy Uber." -Your ego is more fragile than the bones of an osteoporosis patient. -I'm sure your parents are so proud of you -sounds like a backstory of a casual microsoft scammer -" Luckily, no one will go back to your apartment. Indian Jeff Dahmer." -Even the Callcenter would reject you -most indians have a fragile ego. you mfs get offended by anything and everything LMFAO -you look like the kinda guy to drink cow piss -YOU'RE WEAK. -"Fear not, you’re more than qualified to join a scam operation, and you can tell your parents the money you make is from being an online doctor ;)" -"As a fellow doctor, I would much prefer an AMA instead of a RoastMe 🫣" -🎶🎶 Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? You doooooooo. 🎶🎶 -Bro needs a life surgery...lol -You're the Indian version of whatifalthist. -"Bro's not even a full doctor yet, he's a doctor-in-training." -"School counselor: ""Hmm...have you considered web dev?""" -When you go to the bathroom you signal your male friends to join you -"As you just destroyed your indefinite career, I can’t do any worse" -"The Sandman called, he wants his shirt back XD (this is a reference to the Spider-Man villain, called the Sandman, who wears a similar green-and-black shirt) :-)" -"Doctor sahab, patients ko chutiya banane ka idea kaise drop kar diya? 🥲" -Leaving orthopaedics? At least now you’ll have time to learn to read ECGs correctly! -"It really doesn't matter what I say, because I'm sure that even the nastiest roast here will be complementary compared to what your parents are going to say once they find out." -"If I saw you clicking the 3rd picture, I'd probably jump in that lake" -Left doctors degree to pursue a career in customer service -Don't worry. You could always become a P&A GP (paracetamol and amoxicillin). -"So you changed jobs from smelling feet to... What, Customer Support?" -Being expelled for harrasing women doesnt count as 'dropping out' -So this is the reason my Uber eats was late? Get back to work Sanji!! -That one indian cousin -🥔 -Did you drop out of the orthopedic residency because you kept sucking on the patient’s toes? You just look like the guy obsessed with a foot fetish -Dropped out ? Suppose I got to listen to you when I have a problem with my internet -Go back to school get money fuck bitchs be the best you can be and then I'll destroy your ego and pride cause right now you don't have much of either -Skip the dishes...new driver in training -"Maybe pursue a career in tech support, I hear Microsoft is hiring" -Your R's look like upsidedown cause ribbons. -7/11 is hiring -Does my computer have a virus? -" you're a doctor , that too an MD one , she is already screwing you good enough so I don't have to" -You look more of an I.T. guy anyway.  -"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but an orthopedic surgeon you'll never be. McDonald's is paying $20/hr in California!" -Being a dr was your only shot at getting a girl looking like that. You done fucked up -"Next stop is Microsoft help desk phone support operator, if they don't reject you." -I was gonna roast you but you seem like a dope guy -Middle Eastern Jeffery dahmer -"You'd look like you call me on a monthly basis trying to take my money or actually fix my computer. If i would meet Columbus i would be happy for him going to the wrong place. If your a doctor your in another nation and thats your imagination. -(Have a bad day.)" -"So are you going to take a bath in that filthy river, or what? 😒" -I bet you're really thankful for arranged marriage. -"You look cute, nothing else to say" -I can see this one transforming into an international man of mystery. -"You look like you are a very nice person - -But pull nothing hoes like the rest of us" -"The only inspiration you got to become a doctor when you were a kid was from Dr Vindaloo in Courage The Cowardly Dog and your only advice to patients has always been ""nothing to worry about, nothing at all, just keep soaking it""" -Don’t worry the call centers are always hiring. Your new name is Bill. -These posts are so fucking weird. Glad I’m not the type of person to post some stupid shit like this -Well now that being a doctor is off the table your only option is to be a gas station Indian. Welcome to 7-11 buddy -U look really good mate 👍🏼 those glasses are very nice9 -You’re a quitter -Cheer up man you got a bright future in gay porn. -"No need to roast you, the shame from your parents will do more than that…." -Your glasses look AI generated -You should've decided to fix the gap between your teeth first before you decided to fix other people's bones for a living. -Bollywood Version of Jeffrey Dahmer -"So we just strapping bus windshields to our face and calling ourselves ""doctor"" now?" -Are you already pulling night shifts now? -My computer still won't boot up. Please fix asap. -"""i am calling from Microsoft tech support, you have a virus on your computer""" -"I want my money back, The hotdog you sold me at the Gas station ⛽ came out quicker then it went in." -What’s that red dot on your forehead? -Stop caling me about my duct cleaning!!! -You look like you would ask for a discount on something that’s already on clearance -Your face will make your country into carnivores. -Apu’s shitty cousin lookin ahhh boi -"Your mouth says nice guy, your eyes say sexual predator." -You're bringing shame to your family and making your mother cry with your failures. -Why did you drop out? What's next? -DR. Bruhvesh -Don’t feel bad about wasting your money and time. At least you realized healthcare is a scam and doctors are only as good as the universities bullshit. Covid showed the world how terrible healthcare is and humans made it in a lab! lol -Just get me a pack of the Marlboro behind you -"with what? you're good looks, you'll be able to scam old people both as a Microsoft Technician and a doctor, and then merry them and get everything when they die.. you are by far the best scam artist I have ever seen." -"Seriously, this is an opportunity to pick a low-stress specialty with a better work-life balance than surgery!" -"Man's suffered enough.... - -So what are you going to do now?" -Easy! I’ll just book you a ticket to Dubai then and the Emarati government will do the rest! -What a failure.. you don't even have 5 kids that your parents can showoff. . -I dunno. You like a swell guy. I look forward to chatting with you when I have to call you the next time I need bad tech support since that will be about the only job you could get. -I don’t foresee hammering and nailing of any variety in your future there sweaty -You look like you try to scam me by phone -You have a fragile ego? Well that sucks. Because you look like fucking dog shit. -He looks like every Omegle Indian stereotype they’re is -Your cohorts are selling bags of fresh air after you dropped out. -U ni brow -Bhai reddit me ane ki zarurat nahi hai. Ma baap ke pas ja drop le chuka hai to. Better roast kardenge. -"Right choice! The ones without backbones can’t be entrusted with fixing other people’s bones. - -PS: said in the spirit of roasting, not to be taken seriously 😊." -Pull down your pants and stand in front of the mirror -This photo smells like tech support scammer -You weren't good enough -Uh… u dumb dumb -You dropped from becoming a doctor since being a scammer pays better? -Failure and public humiliation is your fetish. -Did Stevie Wonder cut your hair? -I'm 100% certain that you are from the Dalit caste. You're lucky that fellow redditors aren't aware of that.. -Maybe your parents should have invested the money into a rope and a ceiling fan instead of med school -Doctor with the face of untouchable -You’re not a real doctor -So what are u gonna do now?… -You look like you’d be a orthopedic doctor -"I bet there's plenty out there who could identify you without a mug shot after seeing what you do on Omegal , HARAM BROTHER!" -"Your father is going to trade you for 1 camel, and 3 sheep." -The only way you’d get to see a girl naked is if she’s unconscious on the surgery table -You'll make a great cab driver. -A male Indian dropout? You should’ve just been born a girl and saved your parents the trouble  -jeffery dahmer glasses -I can already tell you dont use deodorant -"Well it's a good thing you're ugly and short too, this way you'll never know what success feels like." -"If you want to hide a dollar from radiologist put it in a patient, -If you want to hide a dollar from an ortho surgeon put it in a book, -If you want to hide a bar of soap put it in this guys house." -"You fuck cows 🐄,don't you?" -I don’t want to roast you. You have a great smile and are handsome. Proud of you for following your gut about the best course and making a hard decision. It’s what you had to do in this moment and I’m sure whatever you choose to do on your path will work out great ❤️ -Even cows are uncomfortable around you -"Ngl, your handwriting is really pretty and neat." -Your savings account only has six zeros and you are over 21. You have failed and your destiny is slavery to a person of the ethnicity or religion your parents despise the most. -Your Indian parents can roast you better. So how are you doing today sir? -Really convoluted way to get feet pics -When you go in for a prostate exam and your ass smells like palak paneer for a week. -Well I guess you have to choose between being a phone scammer and the owner of a convenience store now -"Is ""dropped out"" code for ""got kicked out when I tried to indulge my foot fetish at patients' expense""?" -Thank God. One less street shitter pretending to be a doctor. -My bones cracked laughing when I see your face. -"Damn, indian reservation can lead everyone somewhere good." -"Stay away from the water, I know you can't swim. If you weren't adopted out, you probably changed your parents mind recently. Also, please don't fuck the neighbours animals anymore. Apart from that you're fine" -Hiding behind the surgeons mask would have done you wonders. -Bihari madharchod -Did you just call yourself a 🐩? -You look like you eat playdough -The 3rd pic you look exactly like the musty indian who works at the liquor store near me. -You’re a beautiful intelligent man who is going to do big and great things one day -An Indian med school dropout is like a fish that can’t swim in water. What is wrong with you -You look like what a lentil fart smells like. -Raj Kudrapali looks more attractive than you. -"Hi, - -This is the government. Congratulations on being a failure. We have decided to revoke your citizenship and send you to Pakistan. They are just us but worse, so you’ll fit right in. - -Sincerely, - -~~Corruption~~ Anonymous Politician" -"Dropped out of Ortho residency, eh? Enjoy never coming to America." -"Hi Richard, my granny says can she have her retirement money back?" -Between you and horse shit… it is an easy choice! -"I've never read a post with gradually skinning into the Indian accent. You're the stereotypical Indian, of course you dropped out, your heart wanted to be a doctor by your mind is telling you ""7/11 with a built in taxi service! GENIUS"" (Indian accent) - -Let me know where I can come to get my butter chicken flavour slush" -Scammer -Ortho? With those skinny arms? No wonder you quit. -You look like you said women inappropriate  /uncomfortable messages on Facebook  -Give me my $500 back -You spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on med school just to drop out of residency. You clearly were NEVER smart so how tf you got in is a mystery. -You look like you'd rather teach me Kreb's cycle on youtube than completing an actual residency! -"Idk what to say, bro got emotionally roasted enough, not even abt looks. Just in general, dam." -You're real dream is to own a gas station -"CHAD? You called me on behalf on Verizon, remember? I never thought I'd see your face!" -— — -What the hell were you doing in ortho! They are like the jocks of the medical world. -You remind me of those Indian scam callers -"You look like your drink from the river, buddy" -Dropped out to chase his true career goal of running a 7-11 -You can floss with paracord. -You look like you’ve already stolen my credit card information -Fix your gappy af teeth and get some new glasses you cheap fuck. -no pussy -Looks like a dentist who fondles patients -You look like an “international student” from one of the Canadian diploma mill schools that cheats the system to gain permanent residency in Canada. -Your birth certificate is an Apology letter from the condom company -jeffery dahmer after trying curry for the first time -You dropped out to get into obstetrics and gynecology because that's the only way you'll ever get any action. Virgin. -"Not a roast, but from an actual mental health perspective please be gentle on your self. Obviously, enjoy laughing at these great creative comments but also remember that you are a valuable person and you can get back into a residency if you so choose. One day at a time. - -Admins, if I’ve made a mistake I apologize. I am still learning how to really use Reddit but don’t think this was a violation" -Bro these top comments are gold -"This fella will be in charge of the children’s transition surgery clinic in Brooklyn NY before the month is out. If you had sense, you’d know who was getting roasted here…" -The good news is you could maybe pass for African American -Working with bones and having a fragile ego. Now that it's all in the past you sound like a brittle archeologist. I've heard good things about this stuff called milk give that a go. -"Look. I don’t need my appendix removed. I just want to stay in your family’s Best Western in Lodi, California for one night where I can get a good night’s sleep and be on my way to where we do the real work." -Did you put some deodorant on this morning? -You can scam me any day you handsome bastard -I feel like you randomly messaged my younger sister for vegana pics. -"You're Indian, not much else to say." -Mom's tits and dad's glasses -Now you’re poor and ugly -☝️🤓 -your life must be hard on you. -"""Today we gonna learn C++""" -NO - Neither do I nor my computer has a virus - Stay away from me -The book and the phone - two things you can hold dear to yourself without them leaving you -The amount of roast you will get from your family for dropping out will suffice until you die. -This filter is brighter than your future -"Giving off ""bodies in the basement"" vibe." -Did your parents disown you? -Call medicine. -Spends too much time in skeevy joints  -Now you have to work at the mini mart. Good job. -You look like your ready to catch a train -U look like u came one here to ask for more underwear to burn -It's the Indian Whatifalthist guy. -"Now that you are a doctor, you can finally afford to fix that face" -"Dropped out or failed out? Don’t worry, you can buy yourself into another program." -You were on the last step of your career and you chose to quit 🫠 -Indian doctor? You mean a cab driver? -Can't wait till you call me and tell me about my problem with my Microsoft computer. -You smell like burnt pubes -Which degree mill did you purchase your qualifications from. -Well you can still be a carpenter -You can see your forehead from space -"Ok, so now that dropped out of residency what’s next? - You start working at your uncles 7-11, 4p ‘til midnight." -Atleast you can always manage the econo lodge on route 9 -"""Indian tech support, how can i help you ?"" -I didn't know they had support for ortho, i suppose they found out its useless." -Do I have to spend 5$ to use my credit card? -Last time you snorted cocaine you lost a table -"Oh damn, Spam Likely? Is that you?" -"Dude, get back into that program asap. Without making bank you’re hopeless" -Shut up you Indian nigga -You did not provide helpful customer service -Can you pick up 5G with your forehead? -About to drop a 4 hours tutorial C# -I can smell every one of these pictures -"You have cursed the family name, no more butter chicken you!" -"Yes, yes i already unplugged and plug my computer back in." -comment -"Easy guys, come on. His sister just died in November." -Your Vietnamese Wife being abusive doesn't mean you qualify as a war veteran. -Damn. You even smile sad. 🥹 -Ever think she might have faked her own death and found someone with a better haircut? 🤔 -We lost some great military veterans recently. It’s about time we start losing some “average” ones. -sorry about losing your cousin like that -"If your wife is dead why did you ask a guy on r/cocks if he’d bang her with you three days ago? Necrophilia?? And that’s not even the worst of your comment history, jeez bro" -"Damn, your recent posts though, you sure seem to miss your recently deceased soulmate 💀" -"From checking OPs comment history. I think his wife is alive and well. Or OP is a super freak. And gay. Just a big, gay, super freak." -# You should date some Afghani women. -Is it true there's alot of closet homosexuals in Afghanistan? -This is so sad that the Taliban are organizing a gofundme for op. -Everyone saying they won’t roast you sound almost as pathetic as you look -"Ahhh, the ole big penis fetish loving, flat earth believing widowed marine. - -Where everything is a conspiracy theory except why your “wife” was banging a dude with a bigger dong which gave u the fetish in the first place" -Did she love you short time? -She’s the lucky one -Thank you for servicing other men -"Hey brother - can’t do it to another of us. Sorry for your loss, your brothers are here for you, and please wipe that shit off your chin." -You look like an amish newlywed -IED: the one that got away… -I also choose this guys dead wife. -First of all thank you for your service from a fellow veteran. If you would have stuck with goats in Afghanistan you wouldn’t be hurting right now. -You look like you take pictures of yourself crying -"Thank you for your service (no, not your military service). I’ll send payment via Venmo." -"Sexdoll finally deflated, huh?" -Your body is trying to show you how dumb your flat earth beliefs are by manifesting it into that haircut -"Sorry but I can't roast this. Thank you for your service bro, and I hope life gets better for you. I can see the sadness in your eyes and it hurts." -She did whatever it took to get away from you. Gotta respect the commitment -Widowed = transitioned gender -"Dude, I refuse to roast you. Thanks for your service and very sorry for your loss." -"I'm sorry for your loss, and also for your terrible tattoos." -I can tell by looking at you that you're used to being ghosted. -Why he look like a lesbian with first facial hair -Are you that guy who told the story about his dead wife? -"She loved you, and all the other soldiers in your battalion, and anyone else in a 10 mile radius." -I call bs with the previous comments about your wife. She seemed very much alive in those comments. -If I saw your comment history I’d Kms too. Don’t blame her. -I don't have this one in me bud. You seem like too good of a guy. -"Well, on the bright side that should keep your diarrhea out of the gene pool." -"Weird, usually its the soldier committing suicide." -"Yep, you definitely look like you were the ""bottom"" in the relationship." -Semper Fi..nger your own ass -was it hard being a lesbian in the army? -story checks out saddest eyes i’ve seen. -"Ain't even gonna say nothing, best of luck to you brother." -"In anticipation of the one-year anniversary of their death, you should hire a hooker to cheat on you." -Your mail order bride went back home? -"You didn’t lose your soulmate, bud. She’s fucking your battle buddy. Text them they might be done by now" -Your next girl is gonna make you pull out faster than we pulled out of Afghanistan -"As a fellow veteran bro...Issa okay yo quit life soon bro. No shame big dawg. - - -Lol 😂 you should definitely look into traveling a Little bit tho, by yourself. I'm sorry for your loss." -"You got bigger problems, when you smile it looks like you’re smelling a fart." -They always take the good ones and leave the shitty chinstrapped ones smh -Well… damn. -"Take care brother, cant roast a fellow veteran" -You lost your right hand? -Thanks for your service and my sincere condolences. -That first pic is like a young Gaybraham Lincoln. -Fought to save America but couldn’t even save your wife. -Grow a full goddamn beard so you can look like a Call of Duty NPC -You look 25 and 50 at the same time -Combat vet at what? The costco hot food line? Commander of meal team six looking ass -"Sorry, I'm sure he was wonderful." -The only place you ever served is the giving end of a gloryhole. -🍿 -I thought your soulmate was the last dude from your glory hole adventure during the week? -This guy definitely still wears his uniform to walmart to get noticed. -"Ok so your wife is dead, you're pretty ugly, kind of fat and suffer from PTSD but hey at least you....wait, where was I going with this?" -What did he die from? -Getting beer bottles thrown at you by other infantry during your USSO drag show is not combat. -At least your hair is the only thing that hasn’t left you -So this is the type of person I argue with about politics on here. -"Don't worry brother, that PTSD will catch up with you and you'll be seeing her again in no time! - -Thank you for your service." -Definition of an ick -Thank you for no longer serving -Professional VA moocher but oddly a libertarian and lack self-awareness to see the contradiction -You are absolutely cooked pal. That comment history is the biggest self roast -"Roast or not, as ur brother in combat arms I'm sorry for your lost sincerely, I couldn't imagine loosing my significant other, but hey, look on the bright side u got her insurance money to spend on all the blow up dolls u want..sounds like a when to me*" -Sorry for ur loss ma man. You have the lips of a tortoise and you give off very strong homo vibes. Hang in there tho. -"You're only 39. You still have more potential then the rest of us assholes on reddit. - -Stop caring about how people think of you and go try something you've always wanted to do, King." -"She left because you spend your days on CoD. - -That does not make you a widow nor a veteran" -"Everyone knows you mean your husband. Sorry to hear about his loss, though IRL." -I know you miss him dearly 🧔🏻‍♀️ -"Lost my fiancé 4 years ago. And then found out she cheated on me after she died lol. Check out -r/widowers. Oh. That’s right. She was so desperate to get away from you she had to die hahaha" -"Dude went to Afghanistan, hoping to get into some tickle fights." -"You should go fight in Ukraine, maybe you'll find another soulmate" -"you look like smiling is painful , i hope you find peace in this world." -"You look like you should have ginger hair, that would explain the lack of a soul, mate." -Well at least your grief only looks like seasonal depression -I hope the aids preventative meds you take save you from what took your husband. -What is worse? Your inability to move on or your crooked smile? -Learn to smile -"You look like a sad, but at least thinner, version of Jon Tron." -Growing that “beard” is an elegant way to tell women you never want to sleep with another one again. Good job! -"I think life already roasted you, just like your partner being roasted at the crematorium." -Just because she’s dead to you after she had Jody’s baby doesn’t mean you’re a widow. -Did you shave your flavor saver when he died? -Why does your whole face look like you lost it in the war and replaced it with a prosthetic that has permanent “I smell a fart” look on it? -"Full Metal Jacket taught me the own firearm is the wife of every soldier. Well, your M16A2 rifle still there and also got two holes — relive your best times!" -"You probably can’t see it now, but some other woman will come along and scream “I cum G.I!”" -i know you are pain it just translates to bowel dysfunction on your face -"First of all, sorry for your loss. Second of all, thank you for your service. Third of all, I salute the bravery of a bearded lesbian willing to get roasted, what a good sport!" -SomeBODY -Eddie are you OK? -I know a Navy vet when I see one 💅 -She and Jodi are finally together -Real shit don’t do anything crazy bro. -Smooth criminal -Bet every Christmas all your parents wished for was a flag. -As someone who’s fiancé passed away back in 2017 I absolutely cannot and will not roast this one. And even though I’ve healed emotionally and mentally (with lots of therapy) that kind of loss is something you never completely move on from. I’m sorry for your loss and thank you for your service! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ -This thread did me in. I’m not strong enough. -sorry for your loss -"Bro I don’t wanna roast you, you look too sad already :(" -No need you have it bad enough -Womp womp -How many Afghans did you widow? -Get rid of the hair piece and enjoy ur freedom -"Dude screams, “I saw combat!” Meanwhile he was in an S shop the winter deployment." -If you’ve rubbed one out you’ve already moved on. It’ll just take time to bubble up. But judging from your third picture I’d say you’re remembering she has a sister that fancied you. -I’m sorry… about your face. -Did you make isreal proud? -I can't roast you man.. I to have lost my soul mate and know how it feels. My heart goes out to you! :( -Stay with us brother -"Sorry for your loss. Time is a gift and I’m -Wishing you well." -"Jesus christ, op." -Thank you for your services -"Maybe that mustache should come next, or are you gonna piss and moan on Reddit about that too" -"It's always tough to lose a sibling. - -IGY6" -Sorry your husband passed away -Don't post you're a vet if you want us to roast you! Thank you for your service! Sorry for your loss.. -Did a grenade explode in your face on the battlefield or is your hair just ashy like that? -"Chin up, mate. You can find another blind woman." -Both the government and your wife fucked you in the ass. -"fuck the military good job taking part in that human rights atrocity moron. this isnt funny are ur a pos. - -also u have no upper lip..." -"Despite invading the wrong country. - -At least you made more widows than your own loss. - -So k/d wish you're well up." -"Despite invading the wrong country. - -At least you made more widows than your own loss. - -So k/d wise you're well up." -"You look like the guy that defends dating a minor “she’s mature for her age, bro.”" -They say 22 veterans commit suicide a day. Unfortunately it is never the ones that are preferred though. -Why are you pushing out a turd in all these pictures? -When you started the estrogen did ur tits grow before that facial hair or was it the other way around ? -"Not sure what happened to her, but buddy did it" -She's the lucky one? -"I’ve seen some cringey roast requests, but this one is the worst by far." -Do you always look like you are unsure if that fart was safe or not? -If you don't get yo Adele wit a Beard lookin ass outta here... -Haha! -You look like the type of dude who messages girls on fb who just graduated high school -"If a potato could cry, it would look like this" -Wow the sad thing is your wife didn’t get to really live the life she deserved because she was married to you. -I guess you could say you lost two wars. -Jesus loves ass to mouth -"You have the weirdest face expressions I’ve ever seen, not even roasting just being honest." -Her burden was not asking and not telling. At least she’s free of that now -"You look like you're gonna end up on ""To Catch a Predator""" -This post may be the only time in your life you've raised the bar on anything. -She's in a better place with all the Afghanis who have been brutally murdered needlessly. -"Let’s make it 23 lol - -11B vet. Stay up bruh" -39they/them -You genuinely look like a transgender. And you're also a pussy -Thanks for your service....to the Amish community? -He’s the only soldier who hears “‘til Valhalla” and gets a hardon because he remembers the reach arounds he used to get in Afghanistan. -LMaao -"""As bad as losing my soulmate"" - -No what is bad is losing the ""try to not appear constipated"" battle, which based on these photos you appear to be doing." -What did you do with her body? -Aww man that's no way to get a girl. -Thank you for your service but I’m sure you hear that a lot from the guys lined up at your gloryhole. -"Men aren’t widowed. They are widower. Although looking closer at the pics, I realize my mistake, but in my defense, the face hair makes it hard to tell at first glance." -Saddams banging ur broad bro -The face of a man who spent years and years committing atrocities whilst his dream wife was home alone. -Hopefully you cremated her so you can both roast in peace -"That's okay, you look exactly like someone who would take a lot of selfies alone." -Losing your sister and wife at the same time like that... tragic. -You look exactly like what depression sees after it takes a shit and looks into the toilet bowl -At least you’ll have something to take your mind off of your ptsd -Take dat filter off the first picture😂 -It's cool they let transmen in the military. -You look like you’ve just smelled pussy for the first time and you’re realizing you’re gonna have to suck dick for the rest of your life! -You have very sad eyes -Don’t ask don’t tell -You're supposed to die for your country bro why are you still alive..... 😕 🫡 -Just because she transitioned to the man you wish you were doesn't mean you are widowed. -Your husband was a good man. RIP. -You look like you slept on fire watch all the time. -Deleted a bunch of comments but forgot to delete the one outting him as a flat-earther. -"Well man, you’ve been dealt a rough hand. At least you’re still here to raise the kids that probably aren’t yours." -Not enough guns displayed on the wall behind you... -murderer -Eyes as dead as your wife -I know a POG when i see one …”cOMbAt vEt” nah man chair force don’t count -What was his name? -How many slices of Pizza did it take for the recruiter suckered you in to signing a contract? -Bro looks tge type to know what the end of a barrel tastes like. -"I ain’t roasting no combat veteran. Thank you for your service, sir" -"Thanks for your service bro, 🙏🏿 for your loss." -"Hell with that man…Thank you for your service, and condolences for your loss. Will wish better days to come for you" -"Afghanistan? - -Well, look at that place now - -Ya did a great job! Be proud." -"You know how they say ""they're in a better place?"" Well, she definitely is." -I don’t want to give the 88M too much shit. -You look like a 12yo cosplaying a 40yo. -She’s better off -There there. At least the VA is still fucking you. -Gaybraham Lincoln -He looks like he just took a dump in his diaper. -"Idk how you have a look of, “I just shit my pants” in every picture you take." -I bet you’re voting for Kamala Harris. -You look so sad. Sending you only love -"...well i don't wanna anymore :( - -hope you feel better soon" -Dude came to a roast and burned everything down before it started. -Did she off herself when you came out?? -Stop feeling sorry for yourself. We've got a barn to raise. -womp womp -"So... you fought ""defending your country"" thousands of miles away from it? Nice. I'm sure you've made some rich people even richer" -I can't roast you much under these circumstances. Ordinarily I would go with something about the beard and where's your Amish hat? -Naw... it's like kicking puppies -You people are awful. This is actually sad. -If Vancouver Washington was a person. -" I didn’t know Jody could fuck your wife to death,… crazy way to go - -On a sidenote, thank you for your service … you joined the real military. I was too cowardly to do so and ended up joining the Navy on a submarine." -Did you lose your mustache in the same accident you lost your wife in? -"I bet managing the ""don't ask, don't tell"" policy was hard at his funeral." -Kudos to the military on finally accepting trans people -"I see why she left you. - -In all seriousness though, sorry for your loss man. As a fellow veteran, my current wife has been my rock since my divorce.idk what I’d do if I lost her." -I bet she'll think twice the next time she lights a firecracker next to you -You look like you consider Creed heavy metal. -This is my first time commenting in this thread. You are a beautiful man. I’m very sorry you served our country only to come home to not even be able to enjoy it with your wife. -Never roast you man!! Thanks for your service!! And I’m sorry for your loss brother!! I do have a conscience -You look like someone who had to keep your soulmate in a basement. Only widowed because you forgot about them during your Afghanistan tour. -U deserve alot worse but that'll do pig -I’m sure your husband will miss you too -"Keep on keepin on my guy, sorry you lost your person." -Staff Sargent THEY -Not a roast but your eyes look like you are truly in pain 😢 sending a hug instead of a roast  -Congratulations. You made me feel like a horrible person. -I refuse to roast a combat vet and widower. -Did she suicide herself so she wouldn't have to listen to you whine about Afghanistan again? -She’ll always be present with you. Wishing you the best brother. -Sorry for you loss brother -"Man you aren't even 40, not to mention you served in Afghanistan which many will find very respectful ,you can definitely find women willing to marry and settle with you, stop wasting time on Internet and and go out there." -"I'm sorry for your wife but at least you have a good story when someone asks:""Why the long face??""" -Did getting kicked out of puddle of mudd hurt you so bad? -I don't know what that smell is either -Oh my god -🫡 -That’s one way to lose 150 pounds. -"Lets be honest, she left you because you spent more times with your Counter Strike party than with her" -"""combat veteran"" receiving the bottom ops rainbow heart is not real combat." -And you wonder why people hate POGS ? Surprised he isn’t wearing his OEF vet hat -"Moustache without a beard, what else happened in Afghanistan? Did you get circumcised too" -"What.. -Just the one war? Thanks for nothing!!" -"Bit of a curveball for this subreddit with your loss and your military service. Not much can be touched in the eyes of what's generally tolerated by reddit mods. But you do look bored as fuck my man, just book a one-way to Switzerland and look into booking one of their special nitrogen pods, get some proper rest." -comment -You got eyes of a dog who knows its about to be put down -From Ireland to Wisconsin? Your drinking problem has a drinking problem. -My ten year old says you look like a hotdog. -This isn’t Grindr bro -"I don’t know what part of this is saddest… - -Using roast me to meet friends? - -Your inability to spell? - -Being almost 40 with a faux hawk? - -The fact I can diagnose you with depression just from your photos?" -I bet you use the Irish accent to get lots of jean jacket wearing poon at last call in Wisconsin. -Man you’re looking thin! I’d offer a potato to thicken you up but afraid you might ferment it to drink later. -CM drunk -39 years old with 25 years of experience -You look like your piss is 40% proof -Dude just get 8 hours sleep and come back tomorrow -I didn't realize Ireland had southern trailer trash too. -No I don’t want you to pave my driveway gobshite -"Pop quiz, is “stout”: - -A) his breakfast, lunch, and dinner - -B) the kind of gals he pulls in Wisconsin" -If depression was a person -"From Ireland, living in Wisconsin? We get it, you’re an alcoholic, you’ll meet plenty of friends in AA meetings." -You look like you tell girls they’re “mature for their age” -I can see why you’re single and divorced… eye bags so low it looks like you’re melting… -I assume you fell into a vat of whiskey as a child and are now permanently hungover. -Did you pick up the meth addiction in ireland or USA? -Temu Hunter Biden. -"Mo chara, the Potato Famine ended 150 years ago. Eat some goddam carbs already, leán ort." -"Damn divorced? Can't imagine why, you look like such a nice junkie." -Your face belongs on a cigarette pack warning. -"Fuck sake, guess there wasn't enough beer in Ireland for the ladies to find you attractive hey bud? Welcome to Wisconsin." -What was it like the 800th time that an American told you that their ancestors were from Ireland? -"You are the impersonification of ""life sucks""" -"Not inly is your dating profile up on r/roastme, but you’ve been hitting on every woman that posts here. You know this sub isn’t really for that, right?" -Your depression looks infectious -You look like someone's great grandfather -When you flew to Wisconsin I bet the airline charged you an extra fee for those giant Eyebags. -Suicidal but can’t tie knots -Bro looks like negan from the walking dead from the 5th dimension.. -Looks like you're handling the divorce well... -That “touch of the Blarney Stone” must really come in handy when you’re trying to talk your way out of your 7th DUI arrest in Racine. -If McGregor stayed a plumber -You can tell this dude constantly talks about “recovery”..but gets high in rehab -Why keep that puff of hair on top ? It elongates your already oval head . Just shave it off 🤔😉 -39 is the number of hairs on his head with that haircut. -"An Ireland -20, a wisconsin 4" -Your eyebags are so inflated even the economy is jealous -"“They call me squirrel, cause I can fit a lot of nuts in my mouth”" -Ragnar Losth-Hope -You look like you could source me a Pitbull puppy in under 15 mins. -Wish dot com Hunter Biden -59 you mean -He is lying about his age…. He is actually 23 just had a hard life -You look like all of the bad bits of Boyzone in one face. -Of course she divorced you and your children hate you and mainly because you smell like cigarettes -Looks like the potato famine still has a bit of heavy lifting to do -Soon to be on the streets of San Francisco -You look like you snort Guinness -How much do you charge to haunt a house? -Hunter O’Biden -Grandpa bod -You look like you stay up all night crying into a bottle of Jameson -You look like a Brit -If I ever need trash bags I can grab the ones from under your eyes -The Gay Hangover -Oof that's a rough 39. I'm 46 and you look like my dad. -You don’t have to lie about your age here. This isn’t Tinder. -Opioid match.com -You look like you miss having Eastern European soccer fans to beat up. -He looks like the pizza delivery driver that tries flirting with high school girls. -Hunter O'Biden -Were these pictures from hunter bidens laptop? -You look like if Crystal meth had a little brother -Is that you Hunter Biden? -Hunter?? -How's the chemo going? -so is the hitler stache a style choice? -"You’re hairstyle looks like something they designed for fifth element, but scrapped for being too ridiculous." -Irish? Divorced? Because of all the drunken domestic abuse? -"I’m going to try to ask this in the language of your people, from what I’ve gotten from shitty films and novels: did you have to change continents because you “went grass” on the “paras”?" -"You look like you’re the reason PSA made that Bert and Gert commercial in the 90s. “Stay alert, stay safe 🎶”" -"Yeah, I could see you moving to MAGA country and writing “Finnegan’s Anti-Woke.”" -Temu James Hetfield -"Gonna be honest, just looking at you makes me want to put on an orange sash and play a big drum in front of your house this month." -"Dude followed along all the way to end of the rainbow, just to find a pot of cheese curds in nowhere Wisconsin." -Failed IRA member. -Looking at you makes me want to act on my suicidal tendencies -"Gta V Trevor in real life, despite being Irish" -Well it definitely looks like you got the Irish drinking stereotype down pat -"Picture 1: six weeks post traumatic sexual injury.  -I'd like to thank you for having the bravery to share your story with us all. -This picture was taken six weeks after a violent sexual assault (face fucking). -As you can see; the victims eyes have now finally opened up so that he can see again. In the photo we discussed previously, taken in the hospital, the patient could not see.  -If you or someone you know is suffering from any abuse or violence please reach out for help right away!" -New Trainspotting movie looks shit -Jean Claude Van *Damn what's that smell?* -Pew! Looks like your struggling! Did someone take your lucky charms?! -"You look like you love the craic. - -Sorry. - -You look like you love crack." -"Spelled 'New' incorrectly. - -Raging alcoholic. Drunk right now. - -Avoid." -"This is a roast subreddit, not CoffeeMeetsIncels" -If Trainspotting was a person -I think I seen him on how to catch a predator -Cosco hunter biden over here. Instead of crack tho he smokes cock. -Gatherer Biden -Tired bags under your eyes and your haircut is way too childish for your age -Who dug up Ray Stevenson? Let the man rot in peace. -He just looks like a washed up youtuber -crack Dad -Meth … not even once. -Man looks like a drug addict who just barely recovered from trauma 😂😂😂 -You've done every drug known to man and they regret you. -Guarantee this guy financed a Chevy Colorado at 14% interest for 72 months -"Sorry you about your divorce....on the plus side you obviously got out prison before your ex ""husband""" -You're like the poorer and less successful Hunter Biden with no bitches. -Your title says 39. Your eyes say 50 with a drug problem. -Even dudes eyes come with a ton of baggage -Hey it’s that guy from 3rd Rock From the Sun. There’s an incoming message from the Big Giant Crackhead -You look like you’ve traveled the whole world to find out who your real father is and just landed in Wisconsin because you’re constantly too drunk to leave. -Wikipedia image for “pectoral atrophy” -Have you went through everyone on Grindr already? -Catalytic converters fear this man -"Wisconsin is known for two things, Alcoholics and Child Predators, thanks for not disappointing." -You look like you washed out of a punk band in the 90s and never got over it. -"Your wife: ""It's either me and the kids or weed!“ -You: single ." -i recognize that last photo? you sent it to me on kik when i was 11… -guess the charming accent hit a wall around the same age as your hair huh? -"Sleeps with a Trump blowup doll, has a masculine jaw and Old Dutch lady chest. 17 years old at the taking of this photo" -39!? Fucking 1939? -You look like Conor McGregor’s liver -Hunter Bidens gay brother. -"Looking like Hunter Biden retiring from the negative limelight and settling in an unknown, bumfuck town lmao 😂" -Wisconsinites don’t welcome you -I can’t even roast you. This is too depressing -You look like you eat a bowl of cigarette butts for breakfast every day. -Hunter Biden moved to Wisconsin. The hookers must be excited. -goast? -Hunter is that you? -Benicio del Tor-no -You dropped this king 👑 -We all have baggage....he just carries his under his eyes. -hes hot tbu -You traded in potatoes for cheese curds? -"Hunter, we don’t have your crack here… move along." -"Now that you’ve moved safely away, the Six Counties are willing to reunite with the Republic." -Divorced? So someone found you attractive enough to marry in the first place? Dayung -If James Gunn had to do some prison. Time -You definitely look like you’ve pogue’d a mahone or two in your day. -"You're a timid, docile version of the skibidi toilet guy" -Walmart edition kraglin -Your wife left you because you’re an alcoholic. Those bags don’t lie. -Did you last sleep when you left Ireland? -"You look like your entire personality is based on Bear Grylls videos and shopping at REI. - -You also look like you have very strong opinions on minorities that you share loudly in online videos that are currently being used in the divorce proceedings." -You look like your breath smells of spreadable cheese. -Arthur shelby from wish -At least you get to keep your mid life crisis -Looks like someone who sends dick pics to his female colleagues -You will keep the marriage % low. -Potato cock -Where is she buried? -Hard drugs look eaay for you -Stop dealing oregano to school kids -He is number 1 DWI champion in all of Wisconsin. -The regret on this man's face. -I think we have a solution for housing crisis. -You look like you just got out of jail for possession of meth and crack cocaine -At least you were considerate enough to leave all the craic behind when you came. -"Irish in Wisconsin, a cheesy potato head." -"Everyone with that haircut is divorced, and from Wisconsin" -"I know your first name is Mick, but what’s your last name?" -"Ah lad, why did you leave? We have meth here now." -Man. Lay off the Guinness and taytos. -Sébastien Loeb from Temu -Are Lucky Charms really magically delicious? -Green Bay packer -"Sir this is r/roastme , NOT Grindr" - Put on some clothing.You pose a risk to the human race. -You look like how Sean Gunn would have ended up if his brother wasn’t a famous director -How many years ago did you turn 39? 😬 -"Roast you? My brother, God already did the biggest roast." -That’s a rough 39. Alcoholism? -I wasn’t for the “three days sober” in the title -Didn’t I see you on a video exposing child predators recently -We all know why u got divorced -u look like start bar fights when u get too drunk just to end up getting the shit kicked out of u. U loook like ur Irish accent comes out heavy af about 6 shots in and only till the 6th shot in no one even knows u have an accent until u get drunk off ur ass 😂 -I’d that haircut in the early 90s  -ew -The addict minor character from a dramatic easily forgettable film -You have a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle and U2 is overrated -Did you try going back to Ireland? -You look every English footballer had a stroke and was on meth -you look like tired rammstein without the talent -"""39, single, divorced. from Ireland, live in Wisconsin."" - -Great, well I think you're a size 7, so, put this Lucky the Leprechaun outfit on and practice these lines; I'm sure your voice will be fine. - -You'll be entertaining 9 year olds on isle seven; keep the gloves on at all times." -Budget Neegan. -Really leaning hard into the Hunter Biden look alike competition. -"Apparently there's home schooling in Ireland too, who knew?" -that looks like boast me -"You look like you hang out with Hunter Biden, and I mean that in the worst way possible." -I thought leprechauns 🍀 were shorter. -"Aww your divorced from your prison butt buddy and now your out all alone, god help us." -Meth Bert. -Peaky Grindrs -"Hi, my brother is CM Punk, would you like to get in on a pyramid scheme with me?" -That is a rough 39 -Dollar General Hunter Biden -"""Hunter, get of the dang internet, daddy is trying to order Prevagen.""" -There is definitely an empty bottle of Wild Irish Rose somewhere in that apartment. -You are the poster child for “Bodies By Marlboro” -Last of the mo-tweakans -Goast you? You're divorced you were already ghosted. -"Damn, those are some city miles on you my guy." -You look like weaponized incompetence was a person -You look like a Dryshite Scut Tool Wagon Midden. What’s that Eejit Fecking Piece of Manky wig hair on top of your head? -"How many groceries can you pack in those bags (under your eyes)? -If you did less meth, maybe you could get some sleep" -Wish.com Van Damme -Least appealing pint of guiness ever. -Jean Claude Van Damn has seen better days... -Those cigarettes put 20 years on you. You look like you're 60. -You look like you're still starving from the great potato famine. -"2nd pic is definitely single and divorced so props to you man, you nailed it 👍" -Alright...I got one. Why he look like a knock-off Hunter Biden? Did she find your hard drives? -Eyes came with complimentary punching bags -"Drug addict #131, from the robocop 1 movie" -Carson Daly in 105 years -Got enough eye bags to do a grocery shop for a family of 8 -I’m sorry. I can’t think of a single negative thing to say. You’re hot! -"You look 39, single, divorced, from Ireland." -"Holy shit, what’s up hunter Biden" -Dollar Store Milverene (Milwaukeans will get it). -Yoooooooooooooo lmao -You have somehow managed to be the opposite of a bald guy who combs over what's left of the sides in a pathetic attempt to cover it up while still bringing the exact same energy. -Holy fuck Prod is lookin rough these days -Seems like you already have enough neq -Looks like Wisconsin drinking culture took its toll on you and you were NOT prepared! -Are those huge bags under your eyes where you carry the weight of your failures? -There's a filter on snapchat right now that literally looks like you -Slob Van Dam -Why would you even do this? -"You know, statistically, the most unhappy person on the planet is an Irish male builder in his early 40s. Until today I thought that was just a statistic. - -Completely unrelated question; do you work in construction?" -"Bro, looks like negan from The walking Dead if he used drugs." -You look like someone tried to draw Hunter Biden from memory. -How many times did your ex accidentally walk into a door? She probably asked for Angela so many times you thought it was her favourite cocktail. -How long have you had aids? -Hunter biden’s smoke buddy -You look Irish -"Cheer up mate, you'll find another man soon by walking and driving around shirtless" -Congratulations for being the shit extra from Train Spotting -"Jesus mate, I'm from Ireland but that is a DAMAGED 39" -Green Bay Packedherbaggers -I’m about to turn 38 and you look a hard 15 years older than me -Ill only roast you if you dont like Thin Lizzy. -I thought Right Said Fred was English…. -Jeffery dead Morgan -Fucking dork -Irish Hunter Biden -Dollar general negan -I could carry my entire groceries with them bags under your eyes -If Brendan Fraser was even gayer -Wrong subreddit -Weren’t you on the opening ceremony for the 2024 Olympics?! -Callum???!!! -Where do u get your meth id like some -You look like a cross between RVD and Shawn Michaels if you only got their untalented side that loved drugs. -Lil bro looks like Hunter Biden -"Get some sleep, yo." -Where do we even start with the hair cut? -The pictures just get worse and worse. -Irish Hunter Biden -Down version of a Zoolander calendar. -Pidgeotto haircut -Cut your hair hunter -You live in Wisconsin. I’ll spare you anything else I’ve got because of that. -Never heard of neq people but judging by the way you look it’s not just a spelling error -But the cheese is great. -I had that haircut 25 yrs ago. Good for you -"When you moved from Ireland, you forgot to unpack the bags under your eyes." -Your no shirt to shirt ratio is way off bro. -"Coffee isn't enough. My boy done seen a full life at 39 and he looks like he just wants to sleep for an entire week. Although, ""divorced"". I guess his ex-wife took the part of his soul that smiles." -We already got these pictures from you laptop Hunter. -Don't forget to pick your laptop up from the repair center... -"you look like you told a police officer that pull you over, ""i am not driving, i am traveling. i dont need a license to travel""" -"Cut the hair for the love of God, what is that sad mess atop your head?!?" -"""It rubs the lotion on its skin, It does this whenever it's told. It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again. (Yes, we will, precious, we will get the hose, yes). Now, it places the lotion in the basket. It places the lotion in the basket! PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!""" -Trevor from GTA in his teen years -Hunter Biden vibes. -"Are we talking the ""I'm Irish and lived in Ireland for a month on holiday"" type Irish? Or are we talking ""I was born in a wee village near Dublin. Me mAh speaks Gaelic to her male company, me pah went ta get bainne and fags but nevur caym bak!"" Kind of Irish?" -"You literally did not have to specify that you’re divorced, we knew" -Punter Biden -Average Tinder profile of alcoholic middle aged man be like: -"No filter can fix: ""The Face of Alcoholism"". - -In the digital pages of this biting satire, uncover the raw, unfiltered reality of a life entangled in alcoholism. Witness the stark contrast between the polished facade and the inner turmoil, as the a 39 years old single man navigates the labyrinth of addiction and personality changes while drunk twerking his way out til he gets pegged by his friends." -"Matt Fradd in bizarro world, or playing Hunter Biden in an upcoming film…method actor, he’s very into the role." -"Just go ask your dad for more money, he lives in the white house after all." -You have the face of a man who opens a conversation with a woman with a dick pic. -You look like you've packed in more years than 39. -Roast me more like Ghost me. -HUNTER BIDEN -"Bear Grylls after being told ""no Animals today""." -Hunter Biden ?? -Hey Hunter Biden called! He wants his crack pipe back! -Irish Hunter Biden -Dallas Buyers Club much? -"You'd have never survived the potato famine, not due to starvation, but due the shape of your head." -Please go back. -39 going on 50 -"Have you been stressing in life. You are way younger than me, but you look way more older." -Rami Malek really let himself go. -Hunter Biden cosplay on point -kinda remind me of the dude from the black phone -Holy shit the hair in his least depraved picture. Damn bro. RIP -Carson Daly at the retirement home. -Trevor?! -Lol.. -"Dude you took 39 going on 60. - - -Holy shit.." -Londonderry -Just fuck a potato at this point man -Gareth Bale? More like Gay-reth Fail -Dudes so pale he looks like his anemia has AIDS. -The haircut is fucking rotten lol -I didn’t know Hunter Biden smoked crack with other dudes. Thought it was just hookers. -Sceams ....fix me .....please -Gatherer Biden -"You told us everything but the straight truth.. ”39, single, divorced” bro just say ”I was an alcoholic and still am, that’s why we divorced”😭😭" -comment -You look like the thumbnail for a news story about a guy who installed hidden bathroom cameras at Arby’s. -I didn't realize you guys went on top of bridges. I thought you just stayed underneath and asked questions to alow people to pass. -You look like the kind of guy who hits on girls at a family reunion by calling them m'lady -"CaseOh's lesser known twin, Queso." -His name is Robert Paulson -Frequently shitting your pants isn’t enough? -"Good lord, look at the size of those moobs. I'll bet there's nothing made that can hold them thangs back." -You look like a monster that sneaks into houses in the middle of the night to take shits in people’s underwear while they’re wearing them -Aint no oven big enough to roast you -You're built like Grimace cosplaying a human -Bro's gaming chair gets disability pay and a veteran's discount. -Pretty sure the 13th reason is hiding under your titties. -Did you eat the other 12? -You look like a Viking that only eats whale blubber -Gravy is not a beverage. -"Dude you shouldn't be on roastme, you should be in a psychiatry and get help. I'm serious. You look miserable. Stop telling yourself bullshit and get in some effort. Just a tiny little bit to begin with." -How many years has it been since you’ve seen your penis -13th Reason? I can’t think of one reason that bridge your on hasn’t collapsed. -Show me where the salad touched you -The Sasquatch of Notre Dame -Son of Hagrid lookin ass. -"Whenever you walk in someone house, they guard their fridge like a soccer goalie." -13th reason for what? A triple bypass? -And my axe! -Susquatch. -Wow roasting this dude could feed whole villages in Africa -Wonder which one of these photos are gonna be the under the headline when he snaps and shoots up a mall. -Jelly Troll. -"Autobiography title - ""Rollerdogs and Me, a Memoir""" -"I'd roast you, but by my calculations it would take until the heat death of the universe to bring your internal temperature up to medium rare." -As if your neck beard wasn't already your 31st reason... -The only reason you wont jump off that bridge is you're afraid you'll break your snufflegusstroid. -"OP struggles with PTSD, OCD, and OBCD." -Dumb DeLouise -You seem like a really nice person -"Oh Sam Sam Sam, you're the best of Tarlys." -SlackJaw Jim Dugan -You look like you masturbate to r/brisket. -You get thrown out of strip clubs for having the biggest tits. -Clodor. -Wow a fat fuck on Reddit with a beard that totally makes you look skinnier.. don’t worry society loves accommodating to you smelling like shit and taking up an unnecessary amount of space -Beardneck plumperstiltskin -"Your pictures smells like urine, tavern sweat, and axe body spray" -Caseoh is that you? -That bridge creaked when you stood on it -Caseos bigger brother -Saladphobic -Secret 'my little pony' collection -Says “I love you “ on the second zoom date. -Your A1C is all the way up to X9000Z. -Your beard has fleas and your titts have titts. -Jabba the Hutt grew a beard -thats gotta be caseoh -What are you doing out in the day light? You’re only meant to emerge from your dungeon when it’s night -Upper Decker made flesh. -Arnt you supposed to be under the bridge... asking riddles and stuff? -"All jokes aside, for 28 you aged well. Your face looks younger than 28, just lose weight, shave and get a haircut and you’re good to go" -That’s a Squatch -Please leave some earth for the rest of us -"Cheefdeef, destroyer of toilets!" -"After engulfing a few dozen Costco rotisserie chickens, the elusive moobopotomus makes its way to the local watering hole" -Hold the DOOR!!!!!!! -All these references to CaseOh are an insult to CaseOh. -"Nice jugs, lady" -Nah you look awesome.. Great beard! -"After the second picture was taken, he was ordered by law to never be within 500 yards of a bridge." -case oh from wish -Not until you’ve had that shower you keep talking about -The last thing you need is another roast brother -The scar on your forehead saddens me because it was a failed assassination that should’ve succeeded 😭 look at you -Aren’t you that guy who streams to kids. Pretty sure my kid watches you play Fortnite all day. -Dude sleeps with pizza rolls under his pillow -You look like you ate the 13th reason. -There’s enough of you to have 13 13th reasons -Even the category four hurricanes aren’t strong enough to push you over -"Dang I thought you were Hagrid then I saw your second pic where you look about 12. How are you able to grow a beard when you haven’t hit puberty yet? - -Also, get a bra." -I didn't realise they'd finally photographed bigfoot -Packing on that weight before you dig your undeground hibernation spot? Looks like you are overdoing it. -"Dude, are you related to caseoh, because your big as fuck. You look like you were given birth from a beluga whale." -Sasquatch sunset called they are looking for you for the next film. -Thanks for putting up the middle pic…couldn’t believe you actually go outside -Your 13th reason might be a small salad. I bet women are jealous of your tits. I bet when you go to a movie and you sit next to a person they think to themselves that you’re about to devour all your food and then all of their food. I’m willing to bet some people’s hell is you on a middle seat of a plane. -How do u manage to resemble a crackhead yet also being morbidly obese? That’s impressive -Roast you? STOP EATING ROAST! 🤣🤣 -Hi. This is John. John from John breaks bad news. Your friend Mark wants to you to know he’s been having sec with your girlfriend and they are moving away to Florida. I love you… -What an absolute sad sack of shit. -You literally have no life. -"If you got a job in the HipHop business, you’d be know as “DJ D-cups”" -Ooooohweeee! Look at dem titties -Ever thought of getting lost on an island for real as you look like a castaway but one that ate the tribe you found. -Master of the struggle cuddle -you guysss. slow down! he's still trying to sound out all these words. -I can smell the burger grease from here -This is either a cry for help or a cry to your parents for a raise in your allowance of buckets of fried chicken. -28 tons? Seems low to me -Nice rack mate -The beard unkempt gives hobo not manly man like u think. -Roast? Bro you need to be cooked or baked. Solution for world starvation -Omg it's caseoh -That’ll take some time -50 year old binman -"Tonight on “To Catch a Predator” - -*attempts to run away* - -*wheezes and collapses* - -“Shit, that was easy.”" -His mom had to have reconstructive surgery on her vagina after he flopped out. At least she didn’t have to push hard -Caseoh is posting on r/roastme now? -Weight -"""I Am What I Am, And I'm Not Ashamed""" -"You look like you got stung by a swarm of bees, then decided to cover your face in superglue and give Gimli the dwarf a rimjob." -Wow kudos to the engineer that built that bridge…… how the fuck you didn’t break it is a minor miracle …… -Looks like you ate 13 cakes. -"Temu Teddy Swims, aka Teddy Quims." -"Editing the picture to hide the sweat stains, I bet the under those moobs the bacteria have made their own little utopia." -That last pic 🤣 -Damn bro u look 50 -Your thirteenth reason is the thirteenth digit in your weight -You look like something you find in a petri dish -Bro is Caseohs brother -You about to break into a musical number as the Hunchback. -If Shrek and Fat Bastard had a love child…. -If Doritos on finger tips and half soiled underwear were a person… -Gynoconastia -Chewsacka -Jelly roll and caseo fusion: -Your pictures are the ones people use to warn children about stranger danger -"13th reason, 13th donut, either way you’ll take it." -You’ve had enough roasts this lifetime -I can’t believe you’ve survived a bullet to the head. Amazing -Editing out your armpit b.o stains doesn't stop us from knowing they're there -13th reason? Talk about a loser who can't commit to something. -"In the first picture, you look like you have eaten an entire viking village. The second one, you look like a molested nerd,and the last one, you look like those celebrities stalkers!!!" -Case oh no -CaseOh’s bigger brother! Not older just abundantly more mass -"28, eh? Looking like that we can say you are currently experiencing your midlife crisis" -13th reason why nobody wants to date you? -"I would roast you, but you look like you got cooked enough." -"I knew you existed, mighty bigfoot." -Would roast you but I don't like pork. -"1 word - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Caseoh" -"You are supposed to state your age dude, not your weight or rarpe record" -Wish.com version of Rag’n bone man -Hold the door. -For your families financial sake I’m not gonna give a 13th reason. Please have the decency to slim down first for cost. -Should ask your doctor to explain the 13 reasons why you need to hit the gym. -"You look like the giy who invented dwarf fortress, just without the PHD and the commercial success." -are you ready to change your life -Caseoh nah. Queso 👍 -you sure hat too many roasted before -Gimli from Wish. -Lose weight tubbo. -"The last thing you need is another roast. -Put down the fork ffs." -Pretty sure he’s the guy who invented the wheel -Caseohs homeless brother -"Fucking hell, Hagrid has let himself go!" -"You look like caseo but do you get angry like caseo - -I bet when they make your pants they be extra wide - -When people sing God has the whole world in his hands it's not the world it's you" -CaseOh? -He ate the glue from what looks like an envelope. Run for your liiiives -"My man, meat this size cannot be roasted, the internal will be raw. You need to be slow cooked or smoked..." -Boot leg jontron -In this pic two things were scratched off… we’re all a little worried -You already have 12 good reasons to cut away from humans and you are still looking for 13th? -Hodor Hodor Hodor! -Worst scratch and sniff ever -Rare pic of caseoh outside. -You took the myers briggs personality test and your results were OBCD. -Caseohno -White trash Hodor -Bro thinks there’s calories in those 13 reasons -"Allergic to salads and soaps of all kinds. Except sunshine salads, Thoes are antidote to relieve the symptoms from exposure to health salads. My mam electrolytes overweight GD man." -You Look like Caseoh -I’ve heard of Ozempic face. This is Nozempic face. -"You know what roast means in this context right? It’s insults, not a potluck." -"This is that guy who tells you “if you can think about, they make a porn for it” then tells you the best sites for it when you were talking to somebody else about a topic not related to porn" -Caseohs left testicle -“Get in ma belly “ -"I’m not sure if you’re Chris Farley or the Fat Unabomber, but I am quite confident you’ll die alone, drowned in your own vomit." -"People this is fake, op just wants brownie points" -Bob Ross wouldn’t call you a happy Little accident -Reverse wegovy. You inject beef juice directly into your body yeah? -My tax dollars hard at work -"If we roasted you, we could cure world hunger." -Texan McDonald’s manager -He needs to leave roastme and join entiresideofbeefinme -28 stone? -Hagrid you shouldn't have started using crack 😅 -Oink oink -There ain’t a bbq big enough brother…. -Caseoh… is that you? -CaseOh -"Place the pig on the grill, skin side down, and cook at 250 degrees for about 3 hours. Increase the heat to 275. Cook for another ~5 hours until the internal temp reaches at least 190 degrees. Optional – mop with a vinegar-based sauce after 6 hours" -Age 13 is not the age of consent. -Did you eat the other 12? -"Careful yall, if you insult him too much he'll pull out the ""MODS, GET THIS GUY BANNED FROM EVERY PLATFORM."" or the dreaded ""YOU'RE CANCELLED.""" -"Under your post was an ad for shavers and deodorant, looks like you would need it more than I do." -Do you really need a 13th reason tho? -He sweats motor oil -Hagrid you fat fuk -Actionless Bronson -You look like you've would do anything4views -Your grades in school are the same as your cup size bud. -You look as if caseoh never went into twitch-streaming and just continued eating your troubles away -Incel soon to be in a cell. -I’d be your friend you seem awesome with a good sense of humor! -You look very Reddit. -You are your own 13th reason -"You have a Hodor from GoT-vibe going on, but without the H..." -This is why incest is illegal -Best evidence of the existence of Sasquatch I have seen in years how did you get it to stand still for the camera? -You couldn't afford a sheet of paper to write that on? -I would but pork ain’t on my menu tonight -You fat as fuck homes. -Dont jog you'll get 2 black eyes with those MOOBs -beaver -3rd pic: I’ve never seen “child predator” screamed so nonchalantly before. -If Jack Black and Zack Galifinakis had a love child... -I was gonna roast you.. but your third pic spoke to me. Dad? Lmao -You have great tits -You look like an canadian caseoh. -28? Is that your weight in stones? Because thats not your age for sure. -Bro I mistook u for caseoh 😭 -if they do a new buttefly effect movie you could be the fat goth -At the Renaissance fair you play Henry the VIII with the Gout ! -"Just curious; if one of us turns you in, who will feed the children in -your crawlspace?" -"The lowest hanging fruit. - -You know what fruit is, right?" -"With those teeth, you look like you’re ready to chew through trees and start building your home in a dam on the river." -"Pretty sure if I roasted you, it would already be seasoned (and a little heavy on the butter)" -"he looks like caseoh, but 10 pounds fatter" -You look like Hagrid on a beach vacation -"Please for the love of god shave, shower and stop eating. Maybe get outside more. Go nuts. Brush your hair even. Jeez" -B.O stains covered to protect the vulnerable -It's not really fair for you to ask us to roast you when clearly life already has. -Nice moobs -Ypu look like PS2 Hagrid -Something is very wrong with Tim Dillon these days -Nah is this caseOh's lost twin -Caseoh twin brother??? -Fuck off back to Game of Thrones -"264 comments, no way he's reading all that before a heart attack." -"I hope you’re staying at least 300 -metres from schools at all times" -King kong first draft -"You look like a young, homeless Chris Farley." -Husky -Durin’s stain -Looking at you makes me want to call 911 ☠️ -I'm going on a diet starting today -I'd say jump off that bridge but no way your lard arse could get a leg over that bannister. Don't think a crane could do it either. -Stop trying to become a viking BeardOh when we all know it would be a lot easier for you to become a caveman instead. -CaseOh from Temu -Jelly Roll if he had a rougher past -So Giant Haystacks did fuck somebody. -Are you trying to find honey in that forest picture with your friends Piglett and Eeyore? -Hold the dor-itos! Hold the dor-itos! Hold the dor-itos! -You want roasting? At that size it’d take a good couple of days at high heat to get the crackling going -Every time I see somebody holding a sign saying roast me I have to wonder what in the hell goes through people's minds that makes them want to be criticized by the general public. Are you looking to see how others view you or is it just an attention thing? I can't help but wonder -U have a wife ?? Mc ..? Interesting name ….. is this KFC lovers group..? ……. Justin Burger is that you ????!! -The last thing you see when you feel funny after finishing your drink -Snorlax is awake! -"Clean that hair up and drop 100 pounds so you can see your dick to jerk off to internet porn so you can loose 50 more pounds and get a real girl. Don’t get in that Ford Ranger again, I’m not kicking you back out from the passenger side !!" -"How does he look more like a neckbeard, the less beard he has? 😶" -Didn't know orks could be pink -Dime store jelly roll. -Giant Haystacks love child... -Frying is better for fatty things -Abandoned by his parents when he was 4 but apparently it was at an all you can eat buffet -You are what I imagine to be what every Reddit user looks like. -Roast? You look as if you’ve already been parboiled. -You look like of those yanks who takes a DNA test and bases their entire personality on being Irish -There’s a beautiful boy in there trying to get out. Let him out sir. His parents are worried. -You’re trolling. -You look like Gloins wife -Seems more like your 13th meal. -I think writing Roast Me on your 3rd eviction notice has roasted you enough -"Already roasted, came straight from the bbq" -You look like case oh -Don't do it. Reach out for help. -He wants to become Muslim but they won't accept him -First 12 reasons: Glazed. -I can't roast you you're too hot to be quite honest -I can smell you through the pics you unwashed samsquatch. -caseoh -That bridge hella strong -Caseoh? -This nigga ate caseoh -Our favorite half brother Grawp -You’ve got 150+ reasons according to your scale. -Meth addicted Hodor -you look older then you are lol -AVG Reddit mod ? -Cosplaying Dr John? Well stop -Puberty hit you in patches. -There’s no pit large enough -"Hagrid, if his cottage had to legally be at least a certain distance from Hogwarts." -Pork roast -Do a neck reveal  -You look like you could use a hand -Budget Santa -Walmart case-oh -"Hagrid, but much more ugly." -Looks like a lot of lonely nights here -Ohioan CaseOh Rip-off -You have a mirror? That should be the 1st and only reason. -I’ve seen ugly but never this ugly. -to roast you would take ages -1×1 lego piece -Average discord moderator: -IS CASEOH -dude don’t look directly into any camera -Shout out to the bridge and your ankles for holding up 15 tons with ease -I thought Chris Farley died already -You look like you could double as the hull of a cruise ship if necessary. -He and Donkey are ready for another adventure -Get in my belly!!! -You could be the “ma lady” guy if you tried hard enough -Caseohs twin -I don't think I can do it to you caseoh 2.0 -What was it like starring in Game of Thrones? -Based on the photos it looks like you got all 13 covered -Jack black fatter edition. -Caseoh? -"Roasting would be irresponsible.  - - -Everybody knows fatty meat gets smoked low and slow first." -Dollar store caseoh -Caseoh xddd -I think you’re already on reason 20 -That's Jelly Roll's step cousin. From his momma's side twice removed. They call him Donut Hole. -comment -You’re on track to be the worst mother in law the world has ever seen. -You look like you eat spaghetti with your hands. -Indian AND Italian? It must suck having to shave your entire face/body three times a day. -Indian and Italian? I bet you can fan an entire room with all the hand gesturing! -"You look like that RomCom character whose entire purpose is to make her friend, the main character, look attractive." -Italian and Indian yet you look like you make your espresso too weak and your chai too bland -"Imagine how hairy this broad is, winter coat all year round." -You are the face that started the tradition of dowry in India. -What are you microwaving at work? -You have the smug look of someone who scares syphilis. -Does your manager from the call center know you're wasting time posting romance scams here? -Ah yes the nose ring of low self-esteem -31 is also the number of months you have not paid your rent. -"Half Italian, half Indian, full obnoxious trash." -"31 and still playing the “when I grow up, I want to be a ___” card? Nice. Milk it. - -Also, good job making me slightly afraid of 2 of my 3 favorite cuisines. At least I can take solace in the fact that I won’t have nightmares of street tacos asking me how they taste in a deep, baritone voice." -Wannabe nurse? Sounds like someone aged out of being a bottle service girl... -You are like a white girl that states she is half black -You’re the human version of two buffets with low health department ratings -"Putting ketchup on naan to make a pizza, doesn't count as being Italian." -You look like the stunt double for Jamie Fox's Wanda on In Living Color -I hope your patients can handle the penetrating stench of garlic and turmeric -She’s a nurse at an Italian Strip club. -You look like your transgender operation didn't work well -that is one respectable moustache. -Is the Italian in the room with us? -Are you sure about this sir? -You have the face shape of a cruiser bike seat -You look like your only fans is free…. -baguette shape naan -My wife looked over my shoulder and said you have a specimen quality Homo erectus skull and mandible set. True story. -Never been roasted cause already burnt  -Literally got the worse Indian and Italian genes 😂 -why is she mewing 😭 -Chewbaka would have an inferiority complex  -Men in Bangkok are more appealing -Aziz Ansari and Chris Rock had a love child that transitioned? -The shade aint right! I can still see your face -Indian and Italian? You should run for prime minister of Italy. -So Your queefs smell like old Pizza and Curried goat -You look like if you were wiped with a sheet of paper it would go transparent. -You look like you have indian chai running in your veins. Italian? Still 3 generations away -I can't decide if you'd be better to play Lord Farquaad or Shrek in the Bollywood version of Shrek. -Guess what them muscular fingers do -This is not the transgender sub. -"You look like Mindy Kalings bitch sister, who uses her name to make you appear to have personality." -"If you’re here, who’s at the Kwik-E-Mart?" -"Things you never experienced: -- being roasted -- being told that you look beautiful -- being told by your parents that they are proud of you -- being talked to after someone finished in you" -Uses Veet for men on her top lip -You look like you smell like unwashed hair and parental disappointment. -"before posting your pic for the public to see, you may want to re-apply your lipstick after giving head" -31 and wannabe? girl you’re halfway done with life -Hottest chick at the call center -Forgets to respond to her text. She boils your cat. -The god already sent you ROASTED on this planet mate -"Your lips are overfilled, I can see the filler mustache… unless that’s a real mustache" -Sofia Low-rent! -Rajuuuuuuuuuu -"Wannabe nurse at 31? Looks like you’ve been taking “slow and steady wins the race” way too seriously. At this rate, you’ll be checking bedpans when you should be cashing in your pension." -you look one of those indian scam call center agents -You eat bacon with your vagina. -With looks like that you should only be playing with cadavers -This looks like the box art of a really bad euro porno I would have rented in college. -She looks like she can outsource a mean Chicken Tikka Pizza. -Are you looking at the camera or at the wall next to you? -more like Willem Dafoe wannabe -You would win the year’s supply of wax if you entered the hipster mustache prize. -So Snooki hooked up with one of the call center guys? -"Not sayin she has a lazy eye, but that thing is sitting on the couch eating Cheetos and playing Xbox all day." -I fully support your MtF transition -You look like you could use some humiliation to de-tan those charred lips -She looks like she’s about to ask you if you wanna take the blue pill or the red pill. -She going to make Italian food with an Indian twist by not washing her hands. -I have never been so aroused by a man in a wig my whole life. -That one nurse in movies who always gets fucked by the doc -When did you transition? -You were roasted at birth my guy. -You 100% look like Mike Tyson with a wig! -"Excuse me, sir. I think you’re on the wrong thread." -Looks like you eat Italian and shit Indian 😂 -"Finally, our very first Dotted Daigo" - 🗿 -"You don't have a face for nursing , have you thought about classroom support at a school for the blind" -You look like you should be on the hood of a Mack Truck. -Post op or pre op? -Not a roast but why the smug look on your face? -I can see who the man of the relationship is -"""HOW CAN SHE ROAST?"" ""HOW CAN SHE ROAST?""" -"If Dominic saw you, he would say you're not family." -Keke Pee-eww -I hope you become a nurse because you’ll have to nurse yourself back to health after this roast -"If you wear lip liner, you probably look like you have a mustache" -"You look like Athena, pornstar shame" -"If you’re going to be a nurse, may I suggest working at an old folks home? You may hear a racist thing or two, but at least none of the old men will fondle you." -She’s got that Gabagool and can thank you come again -"So you’re a cna? Guys, flirt for 6 minutes and you can easily smash." -You look like you wine and whine. -"The most popular nurse at the sperm bank... - -Thank you, cum again." -Indian + Italian = Honduran -Liar your skin looks like you been roasted one to many times  -Interesting genetics but the looks department didn’t pan out as expected. Can’t figure out why you don’t look right… -You look like the child of an Indian escort that mistakenly got pregnant by the crimson chin -Loves to meditate over a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs while floating down the Ganges. -You will serve patients’ meals with your feet. -Lips look like two fat snails trying to fuck -You look like you won't be considered for Arranged Marriage in India. -You look at-least part roasted -"Let me take a guess at your life. Your mom was a maid and had an affair with the man of the house. Little guidojeet was the product of this affair. Grew up to be a confused young man so he successfully transitioned into a woman. Unfortunately, that 5 o'clock shadow is very telling and should do something about it. Good day!" -Smells like a combo of garlic and body odor. -"Being Indian and Italian sounds good on paper, but you got 100% of the greasiness and 0% of the exoticness of both cultures." -shamima begum with a filter! -You’ve definitely been roasted. You just don’t know it. -How far along into transition are you? -Did you have a stroke this morning? -Transgendered Great Kahli -Looks like you pay homeless men to suck their dick. -Indian+IT? ouch lawnmowing the face must be expensive -I call bs on the never been roasted -No he looks like he spaghetti with his feet and cuts the pasta with his toe nails. -"You just roasted yourself, no need for more." -This picture has a visible stench -Didn’t win the gene pool lottery eh? -Commas are your friend -You might be the manliest woman I've ever seen -Are you Indian or black? Half the country couldn’t tell the difference a few weeks ago. -"Sweetheart, we all know you have way more DNA in you than just two nationalities, Reddit knows." -Dude chill -You look like someone who doesn’t push their chair in after they leave -You look like someone sprinkled cheddar cheese on a naan and called it a Pizza. -youre already roasted -Alert the authorities! We have another escape from the call center! -Mindy Failing -You look like the mom and dad of Bruno Mars at the same time. -You look like you came out of the great kahli. -"As a half Italian half Indian, the only job you can get that won’t disappoint either parent is a doctor that mafia bosses take their henchmen to when they need medical treatment but can’t go to the ER because they were injured doing a crime" -Michelle Hodrigues -I can't. U already did -you look like you're post op -"If God exists, God drew you with the left hand." -Idk I’d smash but I feel that once naked id feel embarrassed being less hairy than u -Can’t roast you. Your too fucking fat and won’t fit on the grill also don’t wana get All that grease in ya hair on my corn and veggies. 🥦. Go jog like your being chased by a serial stalker for a few weeks daily then come back and check in with me again. -Sure youre not black? -Mindy Failing -"When the Indian head gestures and Italian hand gestures match perfectly, you will turn into a Perpetual Motion machine." -"A few years back, I had food poisoning. Man, after days of non-stop fire hose shitting and wiping, my poor little butthole was beat to hell. - -If someone snapped a pic of it and photoshopped it over your lips, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference if my life depended on it." -And toasted -Honestly pretty damn good looking for a dude -"Just saw your face, the first thing in the morning.. My day is ruined" -You probably smell like an old apartment hallway while everyone is cooking. -Lentil Spaghetti Al Vindaloo -Find her content on OnlyScams -Suddenly pineapple pizza seems like the second worst Italian fusion thing. -"You look like you've got a zip tie between your nose piercings, cinching them together..." -"New poster child for the ""Resting Bi#@ face""." -You look like you overdosed on tika masala and a truck ran you over so you decided to get a skin graph -You look like you would be unburdened by what has been. -You've never been roasted because the circus is overcharging. -You look manly af -are you pressing your face against glass? -Stop playing bro. -"I dunno, you look extra cooked" -Not just wannabe nurse. Wannabe female too. Thas a dude. -Your mother-in-law stare is on point. I genuinely fear you. -Life has roasted you enough already. Just imagine if your surname is 'gandhi' -There's nothing like the smell of onions mixed with garlic. I can smell your breath and pores through my ethernet cable. -"Wow, you’re ugly in both Italian and Indian." -"Oh come on, this is one of the Wayne’s brothers isn’t it!!" -You can't just want to be italian you are or your not lol -Why would you get those awful lip fillers at such a young age? -You look like Cassie... if Diddy kept beating her -You look like the after photo of Zendaya when she starts getting plastic surgery and injections. -When tmobile sent a text and asked how your customer service was... I gave you a 1. -Wannabe? They literally walk you through it how are you struggling -Aren’t you supposed to working at a call center selling scam extended warranties for pasta makers? -You look like you’re more toxic than the Ganges River. -You look like a Mexican donkeyshow contestant. -I bet your dates are surprised when they see your pants bulge. -"She seems to have that aura. You know the one… -“That’s okay baby… I forgive you. Just go to sleep now…”" -You look like Tyler Perry but this time as a young Madea -Your OF is free. -I didn’t know Charles Barkley had a daughter -This the result of the scraps of whatever cells made M.I.A. -Doesn’t your family run the 7/11 that sells Gabagool? -Made it out of the scam call center to work in a scam clinic selling poorly done plastic surgery -You look like a Bond Villain… not one of the good ones… one of the bad stereotype ones from the 60s and 70s… -Please don’t shit in the street -"Two cultures known for creating beautiful women, and you look like that??" -Somehow your asshole is darker than your eyes. -Curry and Garlic.... -I see a spate of unexpected deaths at the old age home you finally work at. -There's a Lawrence Fishburne contest at the local drag club tonight. -Hey tell ur people how to fucking shower and how to not mass produce -"Don’t worry, if you want to be a nurse but can’t be one? No worries, the porn industry has a thing for women who want to roleplay being a naughty nurse while they get fucked! XD ;p" -I can smell you hrough this image -You installing a urine catheter will take the most time among all your colleagues -I just want to know why every single mid girl on here recently wants to crochet her own tops? Is this a new mental illness/insecurity thing? -Your face is the consequences of all your ancestors having shit taste -Can you tell your husband to stop calling my number I don’t owe 10k in taxes -Bruna Mars -Didn't know meloni and modi already had a child ? -"If you were running for President of the United States, I wouldn't vote for you." -"So wannabe nurse....more like wannabe italian. - -When you Look 0% italian why would you mention this?" -"I think she called me a few days ago. - -Caller: “Sir. I’m calling from the Federal Financial Management Office. We have you owe money for the year 2022. We can settle this over the phone if you buy a green dot card. You owe $159.12. Can you get a green dot card right now?”" -I see no Italian at all. Italian cause her dad was named Luigi Patel probably. -"You call yourself an Indian Italian wannabe nurse? With that level of confidence, it sounds like you’re on track to becoming a full time WebMD diagnostician. Also, balancing those two heritages, your life must be a battle between naan and gnocchi, though judging by that facial expression, you’re clearly losing the war to a breadstick. - -As for the picture, you’ve got the lighting working overtime trying to make you look angelic, but it just screams “Please like my post or I’ll start posting motivational quotes in cursive fonts.” That nose ring combo is bold, like you’re one moon phase away from opening a crystal shop. And holding that pink sticky note looks like you were about to write down the number for a therapist but decided self inflicted humiliation was cheaper." -Nice try with 'F'. No one is buying it. -Sorry about the election -You're Indian. You have most definitely experienced being roasted lololol -Female *now*..... -"Even with the wig on, we know you have a penis" -That’s a strong jawline you have there. -you look like a trans mutated zendaya -"Bro, you need a haircut." -Got the whole Michelle Obama man look goin on. -I can smell your armpits from here. Also do you wipe with your hands? -comment -you look like a lollipop dropped on a carpet -Was your soulmate your hair? -Bro just shave your head and let the hair go -"But if you’re on here, who is attacking 1992’s Gotham city with aquatic birds?" -How do you look masculine and feminine 40 and 20 and young and old in the same time ? -Even Chris Hansen would leave you alone. -"This has to be ai, no way anyone really looks like this." -OMFG. Is that a glory hole behind you? You can be fired for using social media on the job… -Jesus Christ. -"Bruh just shave, you look like skin soup" -"If you aren't currently on chemo, you should be." -Why is your species so fascinated with anal probing? -Apparently your hair decided to leave you as well. -Was your soulmate 50% of your atoms? You looking like Smeagol mid transition. -"Look, I get that this is a roast. And while I could waste time saying that you look like John Lovitz' aborted twin, instead I'll say this. - -Shave that fucking head. You're adding a dozen years and several levels of hopelessness trying to hang on to what's left. It won't be perfect. It still won't look good (you being you and all), but it will look 100x better than this monstrosity." -"Let’s be honest, you’re giving hope to so many INCELs. If you can get a partner then literally anyone can!" -Was your soulmate testosterone? -You're so hideous even the glory hole behind you closed up shop and sealed itself off -"Your picture is an amazing reminder about how powerful the human mind can be. As I look at you, I see optimism in your eyes; a glimpse of hopefulness about your distant future. It is truly remarkable when you consider the mental gymnastics it must take to have your face and, despite the odds, still have that very-faint spark of life. Remarkable!" -You did something extremely unforgivable in a past life. -JFC what am I looking at here?! Please don’t breed. -I can’t tell which way you’re transitioning. Just that it’s halfway done -"Hey, so Im confused. No hate, I dont mean to make fun of you, but are you a man or a woman?" -Ditch the ring in the ocean or something..you can do it. -Fuck. How far do you have to stay away from schools? -"Nice hair, keep it this way 😄" -"Whatever that hole in the wall is, you absolutely have used it as a fleshlight" -I wouldn’t trust you around children. -You look like 72 genders isn’t enough -Being genderless is overrated -"When Mozes wanted to split the red sea he used your face as visual cue.. - - -He also used it to supress all sexual desires to remain celibate." -Bro do you need a hug? -"""soulmate left for someone else"" - -So the girl you had locked in your basement passed away." -Jfc what a sad sight to see -You know shit's really bad when you ask for a roast and instead you get tips on how to improve your looks... -Like someone’s put glue on his head and rubbed him around a pub carpet. -You’re the first person ever dumped because you gave your partner too much head. Impressive. -If Jon Lovitz and Gollum had a child and that child was 8 rounds of chemo. -Looks like life has roasted you enough -"Just saw the shaved pic. - - -Well done Lars." -Frodo has the one ring now. That what he means by soulmate left. -You look like both a young jon lovitz and an old Jon lovitz -"By soulmate leaving you for someone else, you mean Bilbo took the ring from your cave?" -"You know when you see a burn victim and it scares the children and everyone has to look away? Well, that’s who his soul mate left him for" -It’s so brave to take a selfie at the glory hole. -32M Transitioning to Gollum. -"I can understand why your soulmate left, with him being the only other alien on the planet and the founder of Facebook it makes sense." -"For the last time, Smeagol, it's just a ring, not your soulmate, and it's that Baggins bitch's problem now." -How do you have the face of a baby and an old man at the same time? -"I can't even roast you, life beat me to it." -Why they look like a 20 yo with a bright future got fused with a 50+ yo drunk divorced dad -If detransitioning had a mascot -Kids with cancer look at you and thank God they don't have whatever it is you have. -"I'm not certain you'll survive this experience; *extremely* risky behavior, my friend. You might want to talk to someone... professional, so to speak. Have faith, it *might* get better... (however unlikely)" -‘Get off my train!’ -Well can you blame… uh….them? -"You mean Hobbits? They stole your soulmate, right?" -You’re the most unfortunate looking person I’ve ever seen. -I’m sure you’ve heard it all the way up to your hairline -"This isn't the first time this has happened, is it?" -If this new “Monster Verse” family of films takes off you could have a long and illustrious career playing Igor. -God really broke the mold when He made you... probably so no one could make that mistake twice. -You look like the typical redditor -Was your soulmate an evil ring? -I now know who Lester in GTA5 was modeled on. -This is like if Rachel Dratch played the “Pam” character on SNL -I almost say Jon Lovitz but he actually has a hairline. -clown without makeup -Damn. Humpty Dumpty really grew up! -You look like sids baby head toy from toy story -"Dude, go hit gym, shave that head of yours, grow some .. well posted here so do have some balls. But the point is, be better than yesterday. You already look defeated, and face screaming no more... -Hope you follow some advice and all the best!" -Bro...just buy a new body pillow 🤷 -"“I’ve heard it all” - -Yeah, except “nice haircut”." -Tricksy hobbitses -I appears your hairline is also running away. -whats that worms name from corpse bride -Dude of course your soulmate left. No one wants to f*ck Gollum. -yea clearly no need to roast becasue the top of ur head already got roasted -"Soulmate left for someone else, and he sealed up the glory hole behind him when he left." -Disgusting..no not you. I mean the shit hole to your left. You look like a kind and polite soul. -I don’t even know what you are -"""Why go to see Metallica live? We have Lars Ulrich at home!"" - - -This is the Lars Ulrich we have at home" -Your hair did the right thing and left with em -"I can't tell if you're trying to be a woman or a man 🤷. Either way, no" -"Technically not a roast but if they left for someone else, they ain’t your soulmate" -Just shave it off dude. -"I literally can't even tell what gender you are, and what the actual fuck is that hair just shave your head at that point." -"Have you thought about getting an image specialist / stylist? You don't deserve to be made fun of for not doing anything wrong. - -I hope you find peace within yourself to be your very best. ♡" -Can I hug you instead? -"I’m sorry your mother took your cum sock, I’m sure you’ll find another one!" -Bro I am so sorry you were left by those filthy hobbitses -Brother ew -If you stuffed Lars Ulrich with playdough and squeezed.... -Your soul mate stole your hairline -You ever heard of the company Dignitas? -This is why abortion should be legal. -Everyone is terrified that it’s your face on the other side of a glory hole. -"Let the hair go, dude." -Teenage Fester? -So what you're saying is that the Precious is lost? -Your head is like an uncircumcised d**k 😹 -Low quality fox version of chop top from the texas chainsaw 2 -It gets better -This is less of a roast and more of a hair intervention -YAY u ready to mingly imagine all the por basterd in a table relationship with all the head tied to their waysts atleast yours can feel the wind bloesem truh your scallep🍰 Babycakes -https://makeagif.com/gif/scary-movie-2-dwight-hartman-7dMrTA -"Not really a burn, but fam. Shave your head and grow a beard. - -There’s nothing you can do about the lifeless eyes, though." -I can see why😀😀😀 -"Smeagol in real life, looking for his ring again!" -"You say soulmate left, I hear soulmate escaped" -One case where shaving your head will do nothing for your looks. -"When she left, did she also take half your hair?" -You could ram a door open with that brontosaurus head -Looking like conehead with that peak -You look like the before picture of the shrunken head from Beetlejuice -"Shit you look 32 and 12, male and female at the same time" -Bald man or bald woman? Looks like you just started chemotherapy. -You look like that... Sad last egg in a carton. Or a whopper missing the chocolate part -Looks like your ex took everything too including your hair line ………… and your gender ………. -Soul mate = precious. -I guess you could say someone stole your precious -"TRT would do wonders for you, not even roasting here" -"You look like Melody from Hunter x Hunter, and they is a badass character" -"It's hell out there now man it's a women's world, hope you find happiness. Making people drag you down more when you feel like you hit rock bottom won't help. - -There's still people with empathy in the world. Stay strong brother." -4th stage Eggopecia! -You look like beetlejuice without the make up. -You looks like your soul left you. -"This is the first r/RoastMe Post I've EVER seen, where people stopped roasting and actually gave you some advice. If that's not an indication of how fucked you are, then I don't know what is... - -Also... Is that a Glory Holde behind you?" -"Of course, you do you, but I would make hats my entire personality in order to continue living a semi-normal, secluded life." -Hydrated Gollum -"""Welcome to the gym"" is what you need to hear. It helps" -"Get a hat. No get a balaclava, no get a paper bag…no get a plastic bag. No get a head transplant. Bare minimum get a personality transplant" -"Just get rid of the rest of your hair, it'll do you a favour." -Open your miiiiiindd!!!! -“Soulmate left for someone else” -that’s a weird way of saying your dog ran away -The guy from SOAD really let himself go... -Joan Lovitz -You were great in The Oblongs. -Not roasting you but shave/buzz your hair and grow a beard. You’ll look fine. Currently? Yikes. -"Genuine question, why not just shave completely bald? It’s clear that even your hair thinks you’re disgusting." -It's wild that you're transitioning into a man with male pattern baldness. -Your hairline went with them -You look like you stopped mid-transition. - You look like a hard-boiled egg rolled in hair clippings -The fuckin Crypt Keeper. -The Jessica doll from rugrats all grown up -"Beetle juice, beetle juice, beetle juice" -Let's do the Time Warp Agaaaiiiin -"Buzz your head, stop wearing lipstick and get some sleep dude" -You look like a sad armpit -You look like you have Progeria -"You look like you started to transition then halfway through said ""fuck it""" -"Chin up, at least you still have your hairs...all 3 of them." -Wish version of Elon musk. The hair will come after designing a pointy rocket. -"Even the glory hole behind you said no and closed up - -Shave your head for the love of baby Jesus" -Just because your hair gave up doesn't mean you have to. Shave that grape and invest in some hats. -"I swear I've just seen this guy on r/bald. -Just checked the username, same guy. - -You look like you're cosplaying as WoW guy's son." -Red alert- you have a major testosterone leak somewhere. Levels are critically low. -SHAVE YOUR HEAD! For god sakes bro your hair looks like the Hawaiian islands you got so much space in between. -"Not here to roast, just wanted to say shave your head man." -I think it’s time to shave your dome brother -" I know I'm not the first to say this, and it's not a roast. Hopefully if enough people say it you'll take action. Trying to make that hair work is absolutely mental. Rock the shaved head and don't look back." -you look like a transitioning Gollum -Looks like soulmate took your soul too -Soulmate. Don't you mean Your Precious? -Your “Soulmate”? I thought you called it your precious. -Shave your head and keep it that way. I'm not here to roast -Transforming into Gollum I see -Trans Gollum -"""Wanna see my pegina?""" -"Don't worry...you'll find your precious again, but not for a while. 2 hobbits will be taking it to a volcano. You do get it back, but that doesn't end well..." -"Ah yes I see looking like a homeless man is apparently ""femboy:3""" -You look like someone who started transitioning got half way thru and said fuck it this is good enough -🎶 let it go 🎶 let it go 🎶 your soulmate and your hairline ain't coming back -wasn't rlly a soulmate if they left you for someone else egghead -"You might have lost a Soulmate, but at least you found one ring to rule them. Your true precious." -Too easy. NEXT -not going to roast. but shave the head. grow a nicely maintained beard it looks like you can. you'd look so much better bud. -Your soulmate left you for a man? That has to sting. -This the guy reporting you on overwatch for being toxic in chat -I can't even roast you this just made me feel bad. -"Just shave that head and grow some beard, it should do the job to help you to be a little less miserable... -Right noW i just want to take you out of the shelter even you aren't in it" -If Franklin the turtle chose methamphetamine & self-pleasuring instead of his family & friends. -By any chance was your soulmates nickname “the precious” -Looks like the friendly version of beetlejuice -Are we ignoring the glory hole in the background? -Is this a new Halloween snap filter? -Dropped a prayer for you -"Guys, stop roasting him. He’s got a lot on his mind." -Shave ur head and grow a goatie. Then you will look like a man. -Just to clarify… when you say “soulmate left for someone else” do you mean she escaped and ran towards a cop? -"On a real note. You are not unattractive. Shave your dome. Get some sun. Try hitting the gym twice a week and you will be golden! - -Good luck!" -"Not even a roast. But, shave your head. Grow out your beard. Go on your villan ark and look better while doing. - -Seriously head shaved, grow beard. Will suite you." -"Was gonna recommend you check out r/bald, but it looks like you already beat me to it" -Your mom throwing out your old Yuuki Azuna body pillow is not your “soulmate leaving” -"I definitely made the right decision shaving my head, thanks for confirming it for me 👍" -This .. this is what I imagine every reddit lib moderator looks like 😅 -"They got tired explaining taters to you, Precious?" -"Shave head, grow beard then might not look like Gollum." -Did she leave you because she found out you were registered sex offender? -Nobody has a bigger forehead than Peyton Manning.... You...hold my beer -If not being able to accept male pattern baldness was a picture -*sighs and opens comments.* -Nah. I’m good. The Picture is enough. -"We need a new term lower than hopeless. - -**jabs elbow**" -"Who TF was your soul-mate..the fucking Undertaker?!? -Must suck to survive a nuclear Holocaust only to get dumped! -You look like the Kiergen, From Highlander, if hewas losing the fight against cancer!" -Brotha ughhhhh what is that brotha -You have even the most trumpy of the conservatives wondering what your pronouns are. -Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll find the one ring again. -"You may want to get your hormones/testosterone levels checked, and I’m not saying that to be funny. You genuinely may have an imbalance… best of luck to you and congrats on the improvement from shaving your head !" -She take your hair in the divorce? -You have kind eyes. -"Damn, your hair went with her too huh?" -Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns! -"I know two things you haven’t heard. I love you, and I’m proud of you." -Was she your precious? -"I can’t even roast you because every day when you wake up and look in the mirror, that feeling is enough to make me not want to add to your misery. Hang in there Gollum." -Bro's still looking for his precious -You look like your mom and dad are siblings -Damn think it’s best I just leave like your hair. -Give up on the hair smeagol -40 years after finding the one ring -When was the last time you met Chris Hanson? -Holy fuck leukemia skywalker -Even your hair is trying to leave you... -Looks like your credit card declined mid sex change. -"Wrong subreddit, baldy x" -"I can't....😂😂😂😩 - -But if you insust: -You look like a lollipop from under the seat of my car." -"BALD. - -BALD. - -BALD. - -BALD." -I heard two hobbits threw your soulmate in a volcano -You look like Salad Fingers -At least you don’t need a costume or makeup for your job at the haunted castle -"Bro..why do you keep muttering about The Precious and the Filthy Hobitses""" -comment -Betty Krueger -At least you can coast on the burn excuse for a while as to why you’re not getting any dates. -"You are like a software update. every time I see you, I immediately think “not now”." -The flames hitting your face was the only time you’ve ever been hot -"Sounds like you ruined everyone's food. Well done. Sorry, I meant your face looks well-done*." -"Butker was wrong, not all women are made to be homemakers" -"Grill exploded, did monumental improvements" -Fire marshal Jill -Your bf keeps you around for disabled parking. -Maybe next time you should lift your face off the carpet when the guys are running a train on you -"***""I fell face first into the Weber grill, officer!""*** is the worst domestic abuse line I've ever heard." -"You’re supposed to use tongs when grilling, not your mouth, silly!" -"No worries, youve got that long labia skin they can graft on there." -I really enjoy your work in the *Fallout* TV show. -"Here’s what happened copy and pasted from a different post - -Since a lot of people have been asking about me medium rare face! Here’s the story! It was a charcoal grill and I was adding lighter fluid to the bottom vent to get some flames on the corn, cuz I love me some crispy, slightly burnt and oh so juicy corn, and I forgot/didn’t even think to open the lid, and there were no flames, I was like, dafuq….? So I added more lighter fluid and nothing, so I bent down a little to see what dafuq was going on and WHAM!!! Basically created a steaming pressure cooker with the same idea of how fire bursts when windows/doors blow up in burning buildings. Someone inside the house saw a bright light through the window and thought it was lightning and was confused because it wasn’t raining. Hahahaha! Anyway! My face turned out how I like my corn! But the good news is you can save 15% or more on your face by switching to gas grills. (Jk they can be just as dangerous, just be safe and cook a steak in my honor.)" -Just want an explanation of how the hell this happened -The ghoul of my dreams. -"Can't see it but I am doing the ""got your nose"" thumb trick" -Only you can prevent procreation 🐻🫵 -Bobbing for burgers. -Now there's the face of a woman who had to be told something twice. -Glory hole gob rash. -I've seen enough lesbian porn to recognise rug burn when I see it -This is why they sell grills to men. -its giving involuntary clown :•} -"The grill must have blown up, otherwise I don’t think this happens in normal situations (as in someone grilling something)." -Fuck that had to hurt! I hope your recovery is going well and you’re completely recovered soon -"You’re no longer mid, you’re medium rare. 🥩" -With a face like that you should learn how to cook. -If only her body was as well done as her face. -"No, no, let her cook" -That chick will blow anything. -"no roast, just sorry that happened to you." -I can’t roast you… The grill already did that. Hope you heal up soon and let a man turn on the grill the next time you feel like some cheeseburgers. -Were you in the kitchen with Hannibal Lector again? -"Did you faceplant on a flat top? - -This isn't a roast, it's a question." -JUGGALO 4 LIFE -No roast until we get details of how you self roasted? -You’re not suppose to stick your face on it -"Took ""face down, ass up"" to another level!" -You haven't been on the grill. You're just a chicken with hot sauce -You gotta stop bobbing for french fries. -"Hair so oily, the US is planning to invade soon" -It even got your teeth -At least someone will show interest in you now to hear the story. -The burns are an improvement. -"When a girl says she wishes she were hotter and the grill says ""you got it""" -Being a side chic the wifey caught up to you and face planted you on the stove -There are easier ways to check a grill’s temp than face-planting yourself on it. -Even scarier version of Freddy Krueger -"Judging by your ears, we can tell you enjoy being stretched." -You truly are a scientific marvel. Your face is the only thing I've seen get put on a grill that didn't get hotter. -If Freddy Krueger and ratatouille had a love child. -I’m going to put pictures of you in my basement to scare away the rats. -you look better after the grill burned you. -asked to be roasted…. because “literally” roasted. The dedication is real 😎 -Something Michael Scott would do -You look like Corpse #3 in The Walking Dead -I don’t like to joke about domestic abuse. -I don’t want to roast you. I just want to know what happened with the grill. -Lady Elaine -So desperate for a man she blew her George Foreman grill -Scabby Sandpaper blowjob comin atcha! -Off topic but what happened?? -You saw a hotdog on the grill and tried to suck it! 🤣🤣🤣 -Hoe that’s herps -Looks more like friction burn... are you sure you weren't giving a blowie to a guy wearing corduroy pants? -"You roasted yourself so we didn’t have to, how nice" -Earth is full. Go home. -Yikes. I hope you are ok -grill = meth. -Anyone ever told you your balding ? -"God damnit.... jokes aside, this humorous confidence is awesome to see. Cheers yo" -"On the bright side, you’ll save money on a Halloween costume 🙂" -The one time that a person gets burned and the scars make you more attractive. Now her boyfriend has an excuse to put bag over her head -"The burns are an accident, but your awful hair is a choice." -Why were you trying to give the grill a blowjob? -"No facials for you for a while, huh.." -"How a grill which explode can make this to a face ? -Please give us details" -What’s that cooking? Smells like desperation with a side of daddy didn’t give me enough attention. -That’s NOT how you’re supposed to eat BBQ. -Burger face -I’m sure it’s not the first time you played ‘bobbing for wieners’. -"How? Just, how?" -She turned on the burners for a bit too long before lighting the grill. -"Normally I would wonder 'why would someone put their face on a grill'... but then I saw your face and, well, you had to try something I guess" -Looks like you’ve been playing duck apple in the chip pan -Next time don't smoke while giving a blow-job to the gas pump ⛽️ -How did the grill roast your face? This brings more of an argument as my wife set my last grill on fire while I was mowing the lawn and told her to get it started. -How did that happen? -"Honestly I thought you had a bad set of grillz put in, then I realised that your teeth are just yellow" -"It the clown, but only called 'It' because she is private-property." -Not the first time your lips have suffered like that from putting too many hotdogs in your mouth too fast -"Ive ran into someone who had these scales all over his body once, painful. No roast needed." -I don’t even have the heart to say anything -Such evil -She-it. -Whyyy uh... what?? -"Well, you look like a burn victim. It is really unfortunate because you already looked like a burn victim." -Throw out all old photos and you can always blame grill on the ugly -Not even Vader would smash -Grilling and six White Claws don't mix. -I mean I’ve heard about a paper bag covering an unsightly face but damn putting it on a grill is savage -Your face looks like it was actually on a hamburger grill. -"Guess you should've stayed off the patio, and in the kitchen." -Why would you come back from hell to grill something? Stay away from fire -Guessing the grill won the fight. -Only time in your life when you were hot -Reenacting A song of fire and ice?! -"“I fell in to a grill, officer.” - -“Ma’am we can’t help you if you aren’t honest with us.”" -Did the grill move your hairline back too? -"I've heard of pushing the bitch's face into a pillow, *but a grill*? -I'll have to add that to the list of things chicks might enjoy when it gets rough." -The grill is supposed to feed you not the other way around -An extra for that fallout show? -I mean you already looked roasted.. -I think the grilled face look is an improvement considering what you looked like prior -"Love the buzz cut looking, burned off hair in the front of her hairline. Just adorable!" -"Sorry but, hahahahahaha - -You look fucking ridiculous tbf" -"You put your face in your grill??? - -And that's all I need to say for this roast" -"One hell of a one night stand... -Well at least now you can be an extra in horror movies." -May the good Lord kiss ya where the frying pan missed ya! -"Growing up as an ugly child, well-meaning but awful adults would say “at least you can date a burn victim”.  Now I know that I’ll never be that desperate not to die alone." -"Noticed the pink tiles behind you. -Negative associations with pink are timidity, neediness and naivety. - -Consider yourself ROASTED!" -I love spaghetti too -A face plant into the grill -Halloween inspo a little early no? -I hear your parents are overjoyed that the grill actually improved your face. -The goose is cooked -Rudolph came early this year? -You can tell she's used to stuff exploding on her face. -super high hairline jeez -Your face looks like it tried to seduce a grill and got rejected with a flaming hot slap. -"You grilled your face??? When I said you looked like a snack, this is not what I meant!!" -"You know you are supposed to lift the meat off the grill and put it in a plate before you eat it, right?" -"Let's face it. -It's an improvement." -Omg OP that scared the shit out of me. wtf. Horrifying. -"On the plus side, I bet you took 1st place in the bobbin' for hushpuppies contest." -“Do you wanna know how I got these scars?” -Nice to know your husband hates you more than we do. -Did you tell the nurse at the ER that you're clumsy and fell down the stairs? -Try rubbing butter for more flavor -You didn’t have to burn your face to prove you have terrible judgment; the seashell ear plugs say it all. -"Is ""The Grill"" your pet name for the baby daddy?" -"Oh great, another woman who doesn't know how to listen. - Dave Attell - -(I can't take credit for this; Attell might very well be on here and his burns are more painful than hers.)" -Is the grill ok? -No roast. Can you please let us know how it happened? Did someone put your face on it? -And they say leprosy is eradicated -you were my brother anakin! i loved you! -I liked you in the Hills Have Eyes -TAZERFACE!! -Looks like you have face aids. -I'm assuming you look better from taking a George Foreman to the face like you're Michael Scott. -"Boy... You really took the ""pizza face"" insult to a whole new level...." -You looked better with the burns -"Holy shernagle , its IT" -Rudolfa the red nosed pitmaster -"Roasting aside, how? How did you grill your face?" -Hamburger Heather -I can see past your Freddy Krueger face as long as your breasts remain char free. -It looks like you already got roasted -Looks like you went bobbing for hotdogs and you won.  -Ouch. Must've hurt burning a face like that. -"The only thing worse than the pain you must have felt, is the pain I feel looking at your face" -Burger Queen -Your face got caramelized. -So you must only be 1/3 jewish... -"You should've left it on longer, it's not ready to eat yet." -"I’m impressed with your dedication to skincare, but it seems like your skin might need a break" -those faces aren’t funny -"“Whadda want, smoothskin?”" -"""How lonely are you? -Lonely enough to kiss the grill""" -You need to stay off the sauce. Your face is redder than Santa Claus’ after chugging a keg of high alcohol eggnog. -"Let me guess, candle light dinner and you were soaked in alcohol." -Screwing somebody at burger kings husband again I see. -Your husband seems like a swell fella. Why'd you have to run your mouth and make him angry? -You really couldn’t wait for the food huh? Just dove right in. -You just HAD to try the grill tan after all! -Now we all know you are the one woman who should never be in the kitchen. -So they call free basing the grill now? -Shit your pretty Soo I'm kinda gonna have to choke it out.....next time ya get bent over turn the kraft dinner off...... -"Do you find the urge to call people ""Smooth skin""" -These fallout graphics are getting realistic -I love you -That pizza face should have gone in the oven not on the grill silly -That's what you get when you try to go down on a cooking hot dog. -"the pit isn't an oven and those werent cookies, you don't have to stare at them so closely.." -"Well, you could pull a sleigh with how red that nose is of yours." -Pork belongs on the grill -"Boy, I thought I was stupid when I hit myself in the forehead with a car door edge." -This still looks creepier than 2 face from Batman -10/10 zombie makeup. -The button from a goodwill jacket that's in your ear literally makes me want to vomit when mixed with the rest of your picture. Gross -Looks like KFC. -"You’re really milking this, aren’t ya?" -No roast just how in the name of god did u manage to grill your fckn face. Thats comedy movie level bad luck dude. -Face still isn't done. -So that’s what a herpes outbreak looks like -When people have plates in their ears and the grill tries to plate up -Christ almighty! Next time have dinner ready on the table when your husband gets home so he doesnt have to punish you. -"Well, at least people will now think something about you is interesting." -Why did you cheat with the Grill's husband? -HOT GRILL! APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD! -Can't get ass so you figured the grill might love you -What the fuckin fuck?????? -If you're too dumb to operate a BBQ correctly no roast will tell you more than the grill did. -"Not a Roast Post, but I have to ask, why did you cook your face?" -You look like the incestuous union of Pikachu and Ash Ketchum. -OMG! I hope you’re doing ok🥺🥺🥺 -That’s well done. I prefer rare. -I don’t think you understand the concept of a facial. -#DAYUUM! 😳 CAN YA USE A GRILL!!??? -I feel so bad for the grill it should file a case against that lump face. -Good thing you keep a backup wig.. -"Lesson learned, take the burgers off the grill before you try to eat them dumbass!" -Just some advice… I’d just go back to the grill and let it finish the job -Nice ghoul cosplay -Hard to see with that forehead so shinny -Simon didn’t say press your face to the grill -"As she would soon discover, Clown College wasn't all fun and games." -The grill to the face look suits you it's an improvement -You should move to Kazakthan . We need new clowns to scare the Gypsy -It’s barbeCUE not barbeYOU -Brings a new meaning to the compliment “well done” -"Turn around, youre done on this side." -"No, I can't. It would be too cruel... -However you may want to look into the procedure called the upper blepharoplasty." -"Careful, no one likes their cow well done" -"Great, looks like you won't need a mask for Halloween." -Someone confused “smoking hotdogs” with another activity. -Drop the roast (apt words right there) but what the fuck actually happened? -When did you Transition? Also get rid of the lump on your shoulder -You look like the Joker's concubine that didn't follow directions -Congratulations on fixing your butter face it’s amazing what the power of 3rd degree burns just take the ugly ness right off -"Her: “honey what are you grilling?” -Him: “this bitches face!”" -This is not what they meant when they said exercises to burn fat. -"You found a genie, asked him to make you hot and it's the best he can do?" -You are a brave woman -"I'm gonna guess ""Grill"" is the name of the guy that gave you genital warts on your face." -Only time you could be called hot -You will be in next fallout season -"Dumb fuck. -And get it on video next time." -You recovered really well in reverse -Some women will do anything to be considered Hot. -Gotta say.. the grill improved things. -You played the ghoul in the fallout show? -"Your face would have been better off if you had let the grill get more of it, a lot more." -How do you burn your face on a grill? -"Degrees=452, F - -IQ=52, F'ed" -That’s never gonna heal if you don’t stop picking.. -Omg I hope you're ok -Hope you're ok and those scars fade over time. Also try not to get overexcited next time there's a BBQ and faceplant the grill again -"Omg I was gonna ask if you got a chemical peel, I hope you're okay, holy shit" -"Well, at least you can easily get work for the Fallout TV series as one of the ghouls." -What is that unironically? Did she really burn on a grill? -How long did that take to heal? -"Run along, Gepetto is starting to worry" -"I can just hear Gordan now, ""It's fucking raw!""" -ouch -Good thing you weren’t very good looking to begin with -"An improvement, to be sure." -Who ordered the grilled whore? -"This set of progressive photos should be titled: - -""If ""crazy"" was put into a human form..."" - -Your look became crazier and crazier with every pic that I swiped. 😳🙃You by chance don't have an army of cats living with you and your boyfriend/husband right? Do you torture your bf/husband? 🫢🤫🫣🤕" -I’m sorry -That had to hurt -Kool aid 🍆 -Fire Marshall Jill -Did you get that lonely to kiss the grill? -This is what happens when even the grill don't want to hold you any longer. Add it to the list of any person or pet. -This is worst case of herpes Ive ever seen -You’d be prettier without all this ketchup and mustard sauce! -Wow you’re pretty……………..Burnt -Yikes poor grill -"Yeah, ""the grill"". Sure looks like you've had someone's balls all over your face that needs to see a doctor to me" -One of your eyebrows looks really great. -Now you look just like a spatula -Next time take the food off before you start eating it. -You were dope in The Burning. -It’s an improvement? -Fucking ghoul from fallout -Wow. One of the rare occasions when being a burn victim actually improves your looks -Okay but I need a story on how this happened did u try to eat the grill or something??? -Not even gonna roast u but how th did you’re face touch the grill?! -Youre supposed to take tge food off the grill to eat it -I think you’re pretty hot…. -"You look like a clown and doing clown things, make the career move" -Do not let her cook -"You're getting a lot of miles out of this accident though, so that's good. You got to post in like 5 different subreddits!!!!" -Hotty!!🔥 -Pay the pimp on time to avoid this in the future. -This is why women aren't allowed near the grill -"The earrings are not flattering at all. That's all I see. Earrings that aren't very pretty and make your ears look big. But, if you like them, fuck it, lol." -Gawd Damn!!!!! -"My friend had a similar looking burn that looked pretty bad for at least a few weeks, ended up healing up just fine. He's still an idiot though." -bring the bbq -"You have lifeless, boring shark eyeballs." -"Is it every day with you? Jesus, go get grilled again." -"Damn, Richard Pryor really let himself go" -the real Krusty the clown -"Congrats - the grill fixed your face! - -With love, - -Me" -I know the grill was hot but you didn’t have to make out with it -You should apply to be an actress in the walking dead. Application should read “No Make Up Required” -Her name is Barbara-Q -"Jesus Christ!!! - -Alright guys, i'll see you again once i'm done with the treatment for severe anxiety." -"Harvey Dent did better, but nice try 👍" -Faces are not oven mits. Congrats on the healing though. -It looks like someone lit your face on fire and put it out with a chain. Bravo to that person!! -Michelle Scott -"""Why yes, I have lit a fart before - why do you ask?""" -The only fans page I wanted to avoid. -Not burn mark’s just the herps acting up -Jeeez that's horrible. I genuinely feel bad for you. The burn is pretty bad too. -"Hottest nuclear fallout survivor! - -Get it? It’s a double entandre" -Now you can get ½off discount the crematorium. -Now we gotta put a warning label to keep grills away from women. -Are we going to ignore those crazy af eyes? -"You’re not pretty, and apparently you’re not that bright either. Though arguably you may have been hot for at least a few seconds." -"Wow, that's what Ronald McDonald like like under the make up!" -We're you melting cheese directly into your mouth? -You’re taking “meat face” to literally. -You're already roasted -I've seen zombies in movies with healthier skin. -Looks like we already roasted you -You want some Burt’s bee’s lip balm for them sand paper lips? -Pretty sure a certain Key and Peele sketch explores this very topic -"Fried yo dumbass, you got squid eyeballs and enough chin to till a garden." -If you bite someone it’s definitely getting infected. -The only grilled thing I wouldn't eat -Her girlfriend was menstruating… -"I can’t, looks like fate beat me to it." -Rachel Cray -That’s a really bad semen allergy. -"Where you playing the traditional trailer park Mother's Day game, bobbing for french fries?" -Blaming a grill on your crack pipe exploding isn’t cool. -I can see myself -I hope for a speedy recovery! -See y’all want “rights” and look what happens. Should’ve stayed in the kitchen. -Good call on the burn. It's definitely an upgrade -Don't say you cooked your face on a George Foreman grill -Gawwwhdamn Yall we got a celebrity in the house!! Give it up for Rudolf the red nose skankdeer -You’re so hot!! And very cute. -"Blames her severe herpes on ""the grill"" as if the grill jumped up and bit her" -Bitch so stupid she grilled her face -"Roasted chicken butt, none needs to roast anymore.😅" -"I actually feel sorry for -Her." -This is how NXIVM brands girls they want to go away -comment -The worst part is someone somewhere is in her DMs trying to see exactly how sour the PH is. -I love how you wear clown shoes hoping people don't realize just how huge your fucking nose is. -"With a nose like that, I bet the cocaine runs away off the table." -I can tell you flirt with your dad -Do you know who doesn't come back for more? All the guys you've slept with. -Clown fucker. -I can smell you in all these photos. It’s not good. -You got a guy face -"Everything about you is pretentious and contrived down to the trendy tattoos. Keep seeking validation from strangers online with those sad, droopy socks full of change that you call tits. - -You didn’t say it which is surprising but I bet you are also vegan." -Your nails and cat are equally neglected -Even your cat looks like she's sick and tired of you -"Not even worth it ass up. I feel like you’d turn around for eye contact and just ruin the whole thing. - -Nobody wants to look at you during sex." -Most men have fantasized about banging all their female coworkers at one time or another. Except you. -I can tell just by your pictures that you’re too weird to be around and your cat most DEFINITELY agrees. -You definitely take it up the butt on the first date. -"You look like you tell everyone your gay, but secretly hate all women because men give them more attention than you" -You look like you have to read the directions on a packet of ramen every time you make it. -You look like the entire staff at planned parenthood knows you on a first name basis -"You look like any guy that wants to break up with you follows the same rules as someone selling shit on Craigslist. Police station parking lot, broad daylight, surrounded by people." -It's so cute how cringe you are?? -Bipolar eyes. -She's just looking for her dad. -Looking like the damn grudge laying down in that bed -"Heeelp, call the police someone stole homegirl ass 😭" -How is your ass so flat? Did your parents spank you with a picnic table when you were a kid? -Borrows neighbors cat for selfie. Her own cat ran away to find someone interesting. -24 going on 44 -"Let me guess, still living off the energy of that one compliment you got three years ago, thinking the world revolves around your Instagram feed and those filtered selfies that took 75 tries. You probably spend more time curating your “authentic self” online than working on your actual personality. - -You’re 25, but somehow, you’ve convinced yourself you’re the queen of wisdom, handing out advice no one asked for while ignoring anything that might remotely resemble constructive criticism. Your friend circle? Probably dwindling as fast as your patience when someone else gets the spotlight. - -Don’t worry, though, because as long as there’s a mirror or a phone camera nearby, you’ll never be truly alone." -i wonder if it’s the face or the flatness that makes people wonder if you’re trans -You have posted to this sub more often than your father told you he was proud of you -"Was looking through your pfp for some roasting material and honestly wtf. You look like a man, who transitioned to a woman and gave up half way. Then, you decided to flip back and make things all saggy and sad. Then, you decided you hated whoever operated on you and wanted to make them miserable and went back for another try - -Jesus man, pick a road. The only reason you broke your toe while pole dancing was because someone threw a brick at you to stop their eyes from smoldering" -All the guys that pump and dump haven’t hurt you enough already? -Your right tit is really nice -Even your breasts are tired of you - they’re trying to run in opposite directions. -Love the second picture of you surrounded by self-portraits. -You're somehow the most off-putting thing in a room full of creepy clown paraphernalia. Congratulations. -"Looking at that third photo, I probably would do you from behind. But only if we could smash the glass on the wardrobe mirror so I don’t get an accidental glimpse of your face." -You’re not even worth the call back and I bet they all make you buy your own Plan B. -I bet you like to hang out in sewers and abduct children. -"No matter how much attention you scrape from the bottom of the barrel here, it isn't going to fulfil you." -you look like you unironically call cum “Jamba Juice” -You look like a wannabe Dua Lipa with Mr. Bean like eyebrows. -"You have never dated outside your immediate family, have you?" -Butter face. -I'd put a bag over your ass -"This is a prime example of ""don't stick your dick in crazy""." -Challenging people to insult you is just a cover up to get more attention. Is it lacking elsewhere? -Talk about a glow down -It's ironic that you have a clown room cuz you think you make people laugh but really they're laughing at you -Leave some oxygen for the rest of us will ya? -You’re coming back so often herpes is trying to get rid of you. -"Says ""quirky"" on tinder profile. -Translation - annoying as fuck" -Bet you can smell your feet without bending it that way (3rd slide) -I'm gay now -"Your cat looks at you in the clown room and thinks ""yeah she belongs there""" -The clown shoes show me you're self aware of your place in life -"""Other girls don't like me for some reason.""" -I can tell just by the second photo you’re definitely a narcissist. Who keeps that much imagery of themselves in one room? -"You probably have to get drunk to masturbate cause not even you would touch you willingly. - -And your nose is bigger than most dude’s ding dongs" -Ppl with mental health problems should not be allowed to post here -“Bad attention is better than no attention” if I’ve ever seen it -Ass is sinking inwards 🥲😅 -"Not sure if you're Jewish, but your nose is definitely occupying most of your face" -First pic looks like you farted and love the smell of it -I can't roast you. Maintaining your eyebrows is putting my kids through college. -"""I need to dress silly and act crazy so absolutely everyone will notice me because I lack personality, and need attention to feel like I have a purpose."" -You" -Wtf even is that 3rd picture 🫣 -You absolutely enjoy the smell of your own farts. -and her ass looks like 2 day old dumplings in a vacuum oven. -You been roasted like 6 times in a year and you are still pale as a ghost -That shit definitely stink… -Cumdump -Your cat is cuter than you. -You just try to get roasted way too much for a lady with no OF -Your nose is bigger than your brain. -Cyra-NOSE de Bergerac -Shaped like Gumbi -I see why you like clowns. -You look like you stink -Bigger the hoop. -" I’m sure it was difficult for you to transition but honestly go back, it didn’t work out, time to cut your losses, or reattach them" -You look like you'd make a great Participation Trophy Side Chick -You're what I think about when I try to define smelly rave person. -Are you John Wayne Gacy’s daughter? 🤡👶🏼 -Just Bee yourself. -You could make a whole army of clowns cry by telling them how messed up your life is -"What is it? -Pokes with stick..... -Stick Stinks." -There isn't any pain that we could cause that that abomination in the center of your face hasn't already caused.. seriously how do you even go out? -"You should check the polarity of your face, cuz it doesn't attract." -Great Value Clearance Sale Expired Damaged Packaging Sara Bareilles -I would pass -Your ass looks like it's larping as Hank Hills buttocks. -The white pussy is in better condition than the pink one -"You should stick to being always surrounded by clowns like in pic 2. You actually look like a half decent human being by comparison. So just always be in clown painting rooms, carnivals, or fun hours mirrors." -"“Keep coming back for more” - -Bet no one else feels that way about you" -How long had that cat been dead when you took the picture? -OH MY WHAT BIG FEET YOU HAVE. -+70% oxygen intake with that nose -You look capable of fucking up a grilled cheese -Have someone explain the roasts to you and stop wasting our time. If you didn't get them the first time you won't get them now. -Whats your Lonely Fans user name? -That hand holding the phone in pic 3 belongs to a lich -I got a yeast infection by proxy from this. And I’m a man. So at least she has that going for her. -I bet you can smell my coffee through the phone with that beak. -Your tattoos suck -Fuck your mom. Oou I forgot you don't have one -Portland face with a Utah booty -"I am not saying you are crosseyed, BUT - -If you were a gorgon you would keep turning your nose to stone." -"Those proportions are ridiculous, no arse and a grand canyon nose, I think you were designed a bit differently." -"I bet your dating profiles all begin "" No cops, no pimps , 100 percent real pics, no time wasters..""" -“Empath” listed in Instagram bio. -Those buns are smaller than the McDouble. Good thing they cost the same. -I see why cutting boards are modeled after you. -"You look like the type to use the single girls starter kit of dog + Peanut Butter, but you're in to alt shit so you use cats + catnip." -"> Keep coming back for more - -Maybe you smell something delicious here? That giant nose of yours probably gets you into all kinds of trouble." -It looks like every part of your body is trying to get away from you -You’re gorgeous in a creepy way -Why is your left tit 𝔸 nipple and your right tit 𝔸 c cup? -She looks like the kind of person who lets friends give birth in her living but only if she can keep the afterbirth and clean out the pool herself. “It’s good for the pores and also a great super food” -"How does your leg bend like that? -Go Bruins" -I'm not giving you any more hate porn for you to flick your bean to -Damn you've got super *long* thighs! They run right up to your lower back O.O -Female. Heh heh. -Find an online meeting at https://virtual-na.org/ 🤷‍♀️ -Those eyes are haunting. Reminds me why my old pa said “never stick your dick in crazy” chills 😳 -I assume you came back because you still don’t have an OF subscriber other than your dad -I feel like hurting your feelings would be redundant. -Maybe if you tried a bit harder in life you wouldn’t be on reddit asking to be roasted like the pickme wannabe Alt girl you are. -This is why I think its OK to bully people -"You came back for more, your upper lip didnt." -A face only a mother could love. -Stop wasting our time. We get it. Your family is wealthy and you’re a disgusting waste of humanity that think desperately grasping at quirky straws will make you feel unique or less of a shell of a person but you’re just vapid and greasy. -"I mean you roast yourself everyday by being insecure about your entire body. So my advice would be learn how to take care of your hair better. It looks terrible, put some weight on and I know guys usually tell girls “ You don’t need to wear makeup” but for you? put some make up on and watch some YouTube tutorials how to do it well. And that thing that happened do you when you were younger? Yeah let it go for Christ sake." -I feel bad for anyone who's tried to take a photograph of you. You have no good side. -OnlyTrans -At least you don’t have to budget for bras -You cat wishes you’d die so it could eat you… -This is becoming a fetish at this point. -You are as intelligent as you are attractive. I'll leave it there. -"Look, hoola hooping and sucking off your dealer for a gram of ketamine doesn't make you a ""free spirit""." -Then just call your ex…ses -"You’ll never hide your masculinity with those giant hands, feet, nose and tiny ass." -All those pictures and theirs only one of a pussy I’d want to stroke. -Now we know where incurable clap came from. -5 layers of piss flaps -Flexibility makes up for the flat ass I guess -No -You've definitely burned down many ex bfs houses -You will **never** be hot. You’ll always be known as that awkward chick who tries too hard to be edgy. -"You keep coming back to get that attention and approval your dad never gave you. And just like him, we too don't really care." -You’re not worth the effort. -I had to force myself to come back and write this. You are that sht. -Slide 3 has me cracking the fuck up -Holy crap a fully grown abortion! -"Those weren't clown shoes, she just has huge fucking feet!" -Amy Winehouse crawled out of her grave -"Damn, how tall r u? Or r your legs and arms just lengthy,, double jointed?? Legs aren't supposed to bend that way... But i understand the flexibility grind. Also all roasts aside your cute, id smash tbh, but u also look like youd hide a body and im not dying anytime soon so 🫡 good luck, why the wedding dress were u just left at the wedding? That's tough, no seriously. Anyways, have a good one sinister i mean erm, hav a good one hun" -"The only way her pussy is getting eaten is if she lives in Springfield, Ohio (pic 6)" -Your tits look like they came from two different bodies. -Greasiest bitch on Reddit bar none -People would pay you money to put your feet away. -Has the post nut clarity worn off yet? -Your cats dumb AF I know it -What in the actual fuck is that 3rd picture -You could land 737 boeing plane on that nose -If only your titties were as big as your nose -I d hurt your feeling but your ass is so loose they already fell out. -"Awww , she’s got a widdle clown fetish. McDonald’s asked her not to come back cause they’re tired of moping up the floor🤡🤡🤡" -Your ass creeps me out more than the fact you can bend your leg like that. Please put that shit away. -You handwritten sucks and your fingers are awkward -"Oh honey. - -Bless your heart." -Flat earthers are the only ones interested in that butt. -She ate her cat’s ear…goddamn Haitian Immigrant! -"Nobody has a contortionist/foot fetish combo for your gangly ass. - -Now excuse me while I go bleach rinse my eyes." -You might need to take some lessons in being less needy and boring I feel like that would help you improve your lack of style -You could have wrote roast me on a post it to cover those mosquito bites -"Your eyes are so far apart that when you cry, tears roll down your back. This is probably because the sculptor of you face left too much excess clay for a snout but let it dry too long. The distance between the outside of your nostrils is the measurement for Olympic Marathon. They modelled the Andes on your nose. Then there's your top lip, which was a failed McDonald's logo. You must've made some money being Reese Witherspoons chin double though. The ability to cut glass with that chin should set you up a bit of side cash.... Also... Hi😁" -Your couch has better cleavage than you -You look like the only “personality” you have is hurt feelings. People have to stay out of the zip code if they don’t want the trauma dump. -Her ass is an “innie” -You’re almost hot -Everyone on here is getting bored of you also. Go on scram. You mangy dog. -"I usually tell people, ""You're a clown with no shoes"".. in your case, that's a lie" -Is it possible you would benefit from seeing your family doctor and telling them how you're doing? -"Her ass is so obviously flat, there's an entire society to prove it's round." -Your the Aunt that the children can't be left with -Wtf is going on in the 3rd picture?? -You look like you eat salads mixed with keto icecream as a “ healthy dessert “ -"Would you be willing to trim 135 lbs of bud? -I’ll make sure we make fun of you the entire time." -"Pretty from afar, but far from pretty, you are the girl that a guy takes home from a club, but after seeing you in the light, he escapes through the bathroom window of his own house, never to return." -"The only reason you went vegan was due to hearing 'eggplant' 🍆 anytime your out in public. - - They wasn't suggesting a lifestyle simply guessing at the nose!" -Trying to get people to focus on your weird butt pic on the bed instead of your huge nose is admirable but unsuccessful. I bet your dealer loves you. -You're what we call a practice girl -You hurt mine when you showed these photos. -That cat has seen things we cannot even comprehend -The non ironic retro furniture is because you still live with your parents even though you've become too old to attract an alternative provider. -"Your cat can’t wait to escape to Springfield, Ohio." -"Bro. Step away from the cat, the poor animal is innocent:(" -In all the pictures you look like you constantly smell your own yeast infection. -She looks like she could photoshop anything. -"I can‘t understand why your here, there‘s no way you have a shortage of people who are mean to you." -First clown I've seen with tits that honk when you squeeze them -"This is a good source for assessing strokes -https://medium.com/@PARAgraph-/how-to-detect-a-stroke-fast-2ae52504e243" -Nice legs but shame about the face! -Nope checked and double checked the third photo still can't find an ass flatter than Holland. -"I wouldn’t share a bag with you , would last 2 bumps" -Looks like your face was on fire and someone tried to put it out with an axe. -"You look like a vegan cat lady, who constantly contradicts herself and wants an abusive relationship to feel something and the new episode of Him, where you ended him!" -"Not a roast, but in the 3rd pic, with your leg bent that way, I thought it was an arm, and your butt cheek was the shoulder lmao" -Curious why you wanna feel hurt? Does it for pleasure or overcome past issues you dont want to think about? -"Tell me you’ve got a Cluster B personality disorder, without telling me you have a Cluster B personality disorder." -"What’s with the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde beauty routine, look like two different people when you hide half your face" -So do the nurses know you’re out of the psych ward? because you’re not doing a good job of blending in -"Roast me hmmm -You're just looking for any chance to pop them xannies" -"Felt cute, might climb out of your TV later" -Those green shoes are almost as big as your nose -Type to sell pussy for cat food -Shorty don’t got no knees 😭 -You dont need to come back here. Just try to reconnect with your father -I’m a dude and I have a bigger ass than that -So there are so many women with huge tits and flat asses and so many women with big sexy booties and small tits and there is the rare big tits big ass not fat but you have no tits no ass and all went to your nose -This is why abortion should ALWAYS be legal -What’s going on with that face? Are you perpetually waiting for a cumshot? -"Anytime food trucks come around, she nose without even seeing them." -They/them -so what drug are you “clean” from now -If you're going to have a face like that at least have an ass that isn't flat as wall. -Come on people! Not hurtful enough. -I've seen women in Amsterdam windows with more dignity.. -You look like you text a guy “what are we?” After the first coffee date. -No -Such a contradiction…you have the body of a 10 year old boy and the face of a 59 year old witch -You butt look like knee caps -"Fuck Israel, Free Palestine." -What’s your cat’s OF account? -"Nobody gives a fuck about your lame humiliation fetish, or your lesbian relationship, or your tits that are too far apart. Give it a fucking rest, Jesus" -"You look like you’re from grease. No, I didn’t mispell the country. Like just stepped out of something that made you look oily and smell foul." -You aren’t a clown and still get called IT -"Blink twice if you’re an orphaned, Autistic, Ukrainian, HIV+ woman who is being sexually trafficked by the Albanian mafia." -Your cat is fed up with your shit -If the mid-life crisis had a face! -Homely fans -You keep coming back for more because you don’t look interesting enough for people to bother going to you. -This is the first time I’ve seen a camera that is person shy. -"The only hurt feelings you will ever have is when someone actually whispers, I love you... and immediately jumps off the bridge." -"Please, you need very large BBC just to have any sensation." -Did you earn this car in the porn industry? -She'll put antifreeze in your coffee. -You look like the stripper that smells like catpiss -I know you smell like vodka. -Show me on the doll where Uncle Billy hurt you. -Got the face of a pugilist. -"If i put my thumb over your face, everyone's happy." -"*Desperate clown seeking significant other for laughs fhaf I can’t seem to generate -*" -Pic 3 - how many foot? -I named your right tit The Milky Way and your left one Andromeda because they’re so far apart. -It’s Peggy Hill incarnate. The massive feet and hands and cankles make a perfect candidate if King Of The Hill does a broadway show. -Distance between your tits is only matched by the size of your forhead. -The only way to tell which side is your ass is seeing which way your legs bend. And I'm willing to bet it's still more interesting than your personality. -"you already mentally prepared yourself to get your feelings hurt so no one can do it to you besides yourself, look in the mirror and face it" -Sideshow Slob -"Your oh-so rad and funky ""I think I'm gonna be a botanist!"" tattoo isn't fooling anyone. We all know that if you had another brain, it would be lonesome." -You got them Eva Elfie tits: they look like they’re trying to run away from each other -Show your ass to hide that nose 👃 -Only thing lumpier than your titties is your nose. -You list dudes in your contacts the same as burger chains. In N Out...and Five Guys. Honorable mention to your sugar daddies Burger King and Smashburger. -Turns to r/roastme and/or the clown museum to find a boyfriend and then wonders why her life is a train wreck… -The edges of your lips curl up like the grinch beginning to look a lot like I want to die -comment -Even your dildo needs viagra. -Fast food is where you'd end up if you had finished school anyways. -Guess we know why the milkshake machine is never working at McDonalds. -"Shut up, Meg" -"I don’t know about the rest of you, but thanks to this young man I now have my wallpaper for No-Nut-November." -"I'm mystified that your one attempt at self improvement went ""nose ring"" and not ""brush""." -"On the refreshing side, I doubt we see any OnlyFans accusations here." -"Shut up, Meg." -"There’s a thousand girls like you on dating sites. Bisexual and still nobody matches. You honestly look super familiar. - -I bet you like Rick n Morty wayyyy too much." -Don't worry your parents will take care of your 5 kids from 3 different baby daddies -19 is the new 40. -So you were 19 when you dropped out of college and that was HOW many years ago? -"""Take America back"" the burger-flipping ~~college dropout~~ American Idiot exclaimed while wearing her favorite Green Day T-shirt." -"Greenday shirt + Trump flag - -Yes you are as dumb as you look" -I wouldn’t let you blow me in a dark room. -"19? Jesus Christ, I would have guessed 40 something mom of 3." -The face of depression. -I could smell the cat piss before getting to the last picture -Stop eating the fast food -Just list the seven things you’re not offended by and save us the trouble. -I think I became clinically depressed from looking at your pictures -Remember guys. Septum piercing means mental health issues -A few decades from now your cats will be the only living things to know or care that you died. -"Is that a Trump flag? - -No wonder you dropped out of college and work in fast food." -And these are the good years -Is 19 how they write 43 where you live??? -At least now you have an excuse for smelling like a double cheese burger and fries. -Solid 2/10 starter girlfriend -Judging by your pics your life is going about the way i saw it going -Hasn't your mirror done enough roasting already? -Rosanne Barf -"Just go ahead and dye your hair that windex-blue color, gain another 50 pounds and get 10 more cats. Might as well just get quickly to your fate." -How is it that you look literally 100% queer but you own a Trump flag? Make it make sense -"Fat, uneducated, trump supporting, cat lady. I bet if trump saw you he want to gauge out his own eyes 😂 you’re a real catch" -That cat is the first one of many more -"The years have been rough to Velma after leaving mystery inc, Jesus." -I’m wondering how bad your teeth are given how bad your resting dwarf face is. -You feel guilty because you're white. -You look like you have a lot of emotions -"I am not gonna roast you here but give some sound advice and that's to try and get back Into school so you won't end up being in a situation where you are going to have to struggle with money in the future. Too many people are on the streets because they are absolutely broke and can't afford,clothing, food and shelter due to the jobs that they have. Always put yourself in a position to where you won't have to struggle. Good luck. Fast food might be a quick little fix but at the end of the day, it's not enough money at all to rely on." -"I dunno, dropping out of school and flipping burgers dosent seem like a great way to make America great again." -Real life version of meg from family guy -My parents would’ve slapped me if I brought a girl like you home when I was 19… -"You look like the kind of girl who dropped out of college to save the planet, but can’t save up enough for rent." -"Whew a lot to work with her, first you need some better face cleanser, those pimples don’t look good, I suppose you don’t smile cus you don’t visit the dentist, can’t see your body which tells me you don’t like it either…." -"In 25 years, we will be watching a show about you and what it’s taking to extricate you from your house" -"Obsessed with fast food, works as a cartoon…" -You’re definitely the ugly friend who cockblocks the guys who try to talk to your by-default hotter friends -Do YOUR best. Stop touching your face after making me fries. -This is also her audition post to be in the next season of love on the spectrum -You look like you dropped outta college just to work in fast food so you can get the free complimentary meal every day -You're going to play Meg in the live action Family Guy movie someday and the casting director will not make any sexual advances. -Damn 19 you look like you survived a tornado through the trailer park. -Dropped out of school because she wanted to go to Hogwarts -"As a Taurus, I feel pretty “meh” about you, too." -"Someone come get aunt betty....she got outta the home. And apparently thinks her cheek bones are blind..... -""What do the 5 fingers say to the face?""" -"""currently"" - -Lmaooooo" -"You know everyone who sees that face and “obsessed with cartoons” assumes that you mean really messed up x rated Japanese stuff with robots and octopi, right?" -If I had to toss a coin between having sex with you or winning the lottery I'd cut my dick off. -I'm pretty sure you are a character of Inside Out -if talking over people had a face -Rose West -Anti-depressant Milonakis -You already look like a 60 year old assistant manager at mcdonalds. -Time to up the lie to 29. Nobody's going to believe 19 anymore. -Your eyebrows look like two caterpillars are in a staring contest. -More like after high school 19 years later you look close to 40yo. -MAGA. You're roasting yourself. 🤣 -Literally everything you are doing in your life is wrong. -You look like someone who gets incredibly offended if a stranger doesn’t refer you as “they/them” -"I feel bad for the cat, it has to live with your fat autistic ass." -You don't work in fast food. You work on fast food. -You sprinkle homemade cartilage on your donuts -"...if you like rock music your gonna love rock bottom, where you currently are." -"It's obvious you were into cats. Duh. - -But cat \*taxidermy\*.... That's next-level 😒" -You’re going to be working that job forever and that’s not even a roast! -"I didn't even need to see the last picture to think ""Cat Lady""" -You look like the pheromone maxxing guy. -"Jesus - besides being 19 going on 38, do you have windshield wipers for those glasses?!" -"I don't mean this as an insult, but you put the fug in ugly." -I can’t tell where your hair stops and where your eyebrows start -You look like you slept just right after your birth but forgot to wake up -"Get obsessed with exercise, hygiene, dressing better, skincare, hair care and eating healthy, because you’re clearly neglecting those." -Even the fake cat had enough -"Call me in ten years, I’d love to be disappointed by you.." -I'm surprised you're a fast food worker. Not even KFC would want to handle that much grease -"Hey Dora, why not dial back the exploring for a minute and grow the f*** up!" -"You're just like every other zoomer waiting for the collapse of America and doing nothing in the meantime, no planning for the future. You're not special." -Raging against The Man from behind a fast food counter. -Poster child for Lexapro -"Gru, from Despicable...just despicable" -Hot Topic is still around? -That gender studies degree wouldn’t have done much for you anyways -Get in shape and lose at least 50 pounds. Don’t eat that fast food you work near. Stop eating those cookies in the ~~kitchen…house~~…anywhere. Lose the door knocker. Ditch the grandma glasses. Get a haircut that doesn’t look like ass. Buy clothes that fit right. Stop watching cartoons. Watch grown up things (the bachelor doesn’t count). Don’t get cats…More cats. Buy some real art for your walls. -That actually seem like excelling for you -That is a very depressed-looking 38 year old cat food eater -Bigger glasses are a must I can still see some of your face. -More like 34 years old and still haven’t been promoted to washing lettuce yet -"You didn’t have to leave your bio, we knew that from the pic" -Most unrealistic transition ever!! -19 going on 33 -Judging a book by its cover is sometimes correct.  -19 going on 73 and look like the wish version of Velma’s great grandmother -"If ""Ewww"" was a semi-person" -Even your cat looks bored with you. -r/botchedTRANSitions -You look like you cosplay as Itaru Hashida from Steins;Gate for every local Con. -If a blobfish were human. -19........ how you gonna look like you have 4 kids and 3 divorces.... -You dropped out at 19? Did you even try😂😂 -What restaurant is allowing that stuff on your face near food? Gonna call the health department real quick 😂 -Eats all the profits at the corner McDonalds. -Jabba The Hutt with a wig -"Go back to college, you won't be able to get by on your looks." -How many licks till you get to the center of a lollypop? -Are you working at fast food just for the discount? -Why should I do my best? You clearly bloody didn't. -Strive to do better or you will regret it 15 years from now when you are watching a robot drop the fries in the fryer while you a mopping the floor.  Boom roasted! -"I would put an 9V battery to that nose-thingy. - -Why drop out?" -"""I ran out of blades and cigarettes, time for r/RoastMe!"" - -Classic" -You make sure no one is ever dumpster diving by eating every leftover by yourself? -Maybe you should try sex work or only fans. I’m sure people would pay you to keep your clothes on and stay away from them. -“It’s not my fault I’m unsuccessful” -She wants to see our best because shes not doing hers in life -I'm sure your parents are proud! -If Dud were a person -"You know, you don't always have to eat at work. Your face and bodys trying to tell you something." -Even your cat secretly hates you! -Ur cats eyes are screaming plz save me -"In a movie they’d give you contact lenses and a new hair do. There’s no punch line, you should do it." -19 going on 40. -When did the transition start? -You look like a 19 year old with 25 years of experience. -Who did your mustache to eyebrows transplant? Really quality work -I feel like your glasses make a better cum shot than your face alone -19 going on 91 -"Don't worry. I've heard if you're easy, you can work your way up to assistant manager in no time. Who needs college, brains, looks, or a personality?" -Is your job also your hobby? -Spending 8 hours of the day eating at McDonalds doesn’t count as being employed. -How are you 19 but look 40 odd? What's the opposite of makeup? Makedown? -You look like you are 40 -You look Antifa. -Tell me you are an American teenager without telling me you are an American teenager -You look like your future is full of part time jobs as your career. -"Cute, js don’t work fast food forever find a better job lol something better for the long term" -"All I can do is hope that if I met you in a bar, I would drink until I was blackout drunk so I didn’t have to remember you" -If they ever make a sequel you look like you could play both dumb and dumber -"Hey! My DM’s are open. You’re beautiful, and nerdy. My type of lady. Shoot me a message. I absofuckinglutely get off on total losers." -this is where our tax dollars go -"Soak it in, this is where you peak 📈" -"Oh a septim ring - -Let me guess - -You are a power user at tumblr" -Your hair is 13 going on 40. -19 or 90 -That cat is the only friend you have huh? -If your dildo had legs it would run away -How does it feel to have peaked? -"Might have been an auto correct... ""works in fast food"" was supposed to be ""wolfs down fast food"" right?" -If you've never once done your best idk why you expect us to. -You really are an American Idiot. -You definitely squeal “Yippee” in public places and flap your arms in the McDonalds lineup -Answers the question if Harry Potter was gender swapped and had resting bitch face while using a ghetto wand to do makeup and hair! -You look like a Shittier version of Andy milonankis -"You could reinvent yourself as the NEW lunch lady at your old stomping grounds. Oh my, who’s this new linch lady? She’s so irresistible, soooo vivacious!!" -"You're not doing your best, but somehow expect us to do our best? Talk about double standards." -Was too fat for the college chair so she switched to MCD manager seat -"I can’t. You’re actually really pretty, and i have nothing to say about your hobbies. (Um. Ha ha ha you work in fast food.)" -"Damn I thought I was on the glowups, and I was wondering when you'd get good." -Did she actually think that a nose ring would make her more interesting? -hi cat lover 🥰 -Groupies are really going down hill -These pictures smell like lunch meat. -Please tell me that the next to last one was a jump scare. I reached for my heart and lost my breath. You a hater. -I would go back to school your OF is not gonna take off. -"I was going with 38, just divorced." -You are the one going from McDonalds to McDonalds breaking those ice cream machines. -"Doeseverything that leads to a depression. - -Is depressed. - -*Pikachu face*" -Dropped out of college to work fast food lol good luck in life -Crazy cat lady in training. -You look like a Reddit chat room mod lol. -Why are you wearing grandmas glasses? -The real Meg Griffin 🤣🤣 -"The glasses say: I’m so unique - -The smile says: I’m dead inside - -The chins say: we’re living like royalty" -"I feel like it’s gonna be long enough, I’d rather not be in your note." -19 going on 39 -"With fries please, thnx" -I'd rather get shot in the face than look at another one of your pathetic selfies. -Is that you Velma? -You look like your post title. Thats good enough. -I can fix her -"How can one choose the glasses that LEAST compliment their facial structure. It's like you went to a chocolate shop and you somehow out of everything that is normal to pick, you picked beans flavored chocolate." -I would rather get head from a snapping turtle than come into contact with you or your foul stench. I assume by your looks that you have some funky odor that follows you around and lingers too long. Like stale clothes. -If depression had a Mascot -So is 19 your IQ? -You didn’t need to tell us you were into cartoons. -You do look the type -You give off fuzzy diaper vibes -Blobfish with acne -That's the face of birth control. -"Damn, you might need to double your Prozac prescription." -Your cat is trying to jump into another dimension to get away from you. -"When girls wear that nose ring it makes them look like you, Ms. Piggy" -I always ask myself for this kind of stuff...how many people hit on said person lol -"I hope you can survive towards your pension... I heard, it's going to be a challenge..." -"It's not gonna work out for you. Whatever it is, it's not gonna work out." -You look like you dont try very hard at anything. -"Is your middle name ""Drain on Society""?" -I’m guessing you get free food where you work… -Them baggy clothes hid all the self inflicted scars? -Worst sex change ever could just change name and be a man again -Mike Wazowski! You forgot to turn in your paperwork this morning! -So you dropped out after what 9 months of college?! Wow - way to give it a try…. -"You'd be cute if it weren't for the crazy eyebrows, stupid glasses, gross nose ring, constant scowling and pretty much everything else." -Shut up Meg. -You look like a female John Oliver that spent too much time over the gas stove w/o a vent. -"Well, you're going to end up getting the life that you didn't know you were asking for unless you change something. Do yourself a favor, go and get certified in something where you can make a good living. Don't get stuck being paid minimum wage in food service." -Pro to the zak -"You've definitely got a face for ""Would you like fries with that?""" -Meg from Family Guy is hotter than you ever will be. You look like an all used up 45+ year old grandma trying to prove to everyone she’s “still got it.” -Even the cat be mad at you meg -The cat looks as miserable as you do. It definitely doesn't want to be there. -The bangs aren’t hiding your eyebrows- you’re not fooling anybody -Scooby-Dont -"You look like a sad milk cow, except milk cows look better." -Dont get high on your own supply. -We didn't need to see a picture of you laying next to a pussy to know you're a lesbian. -I’ve seen healthier looking sewer rats. -You’re the type that has a crush on her dealer. -Even the cat is roasting you in pick 6 -You look like the turtle from Rocko's modern life -"More like you fell out of college and rolled into fast food. Can't beat the free food on breaks right? Or drinking the grease directly from the fryer! - -Even your own cat is more hygienic than you and the damn thing licks its own asshole. - -Loves cartoons because they're not real, like your friends. - -Rock music must be the only thing that's almost heavier than you." -you def drink bleach -You should get help with your depression. -your grandchildren might be 19 but you sure as shit are not. -You make kids in Ethiopia look well-nourished. -She is also obsessed with living under a viaduct in 2 years -Your mother gave birth to you anally -Clearly you got a bright future ahead of you. Eventually you're going to move on from Fry's and over to prep. Good luck. -You look like you date prison inmates that got no choice. -You are destined to have the same bio today as you will when you’re 56F -You look like you chew cud instead of gum. -I know cucumbers and lubricant just hate to see you coming -19 going on 32. -She's the definition of brown bagging it. -"If you told me you were in your mid to late 30's, I would believe you." -You’re the reason why most 20 piece chicken nugget boxes are always missing a few -"If you dropped out of college to make a career in OnlyFans, you should reconsider. No one is paying for that" -"19 Oo holy cow, i thought you were 37, and even then, a bad-looking 37 yo... do something for your hair, clothes, weight, glasses, eyebrows, skin and makeup Oo" -It’s like a Goomba from Mario Bros wished to be a real boy -"Are you plain looking on purpose? Nobody really likes those septum piercings, it does not make you look edgy." -You peaked in middle school -"Oh great, enormous Harry Potter pie plate glasses...again...on everyone in your wonderful generation." -Did you spend a lot of time on Omegle as a kid? -You have the jawline of a soggy marshmallow -Dropped out of college and working in fast food .... That tracks -WTF....GO BACK TO SCHOOL -At least you realized your destiny was to offer folks a combo. -I was waiting for a picture of you with your black boyfriend -Go back to college. You're going to regret dropping out. Don't be a failure. -what about slipknot?? -If only you could find a guy who wanted to fuck Skeeter from the Muppet Babies. -"Like blink-182, she has her best time behind her. - - Obviously, she works as a cartoon character, is obsessed with fast food and hopes to groupie a rock star." -43f here. How the hell did you manage to look older than me? -Just here for the cat -You could make more money with your left tit than I do in a lifetime. Why the fuck are you complaining u smelly teenager. -Buying merch doesnt make u special -She looks tike the short woman from incredibles Edna -This is the first time I've seen a female discord mod. I didn't think they existed tbh -"I wish you were obsessed with bathing, or a gimp mask" -"Dumb as a rock and likes them, wow" -"In 20 years, when you're still a college dropout working in fast food, obsessed with cartoons and music, maybe you'll finally realize this isn't the brag you think it is." -Why did you bomb the Boston Marathon? -The cat is screaming it’s safe word. -If you’re not gonna be pretty you gotta be smart -That’s the only 🐱 of hers anyone will ever see. -"Gay men are rejoicing that they don't have to have sex with you, and I am jealous of that joy...." -OnlyFans reject -Obligatory cat pic. Shocker. -"You look old enough to be going through a mid-life crisis, no way you're 19." -Dora the lonely explorer -I think she's pretty cute tbh and a chick who likes rock music is a gem in my book -19? You look like Dora's grandma -If Edna Mode from the Incredibles had a hobo little sister who sleeps with the alley cats behind Jack in the box -You look like you have to ruffie yourself just to masterbate. -The disappointment in your cats eyes says it all. -I've met femboys with better lesbian appeal than you -You look like an off brand velma -I think you mistyped 49 -Even a Liberal Arts degree wasn’t gay enough for you. -How often do you dye your hair blue and correct people about your pronouns. -"When trash woke beggar **cks , this is what happens" -Hows your steven universe tumblr doing -"emo lookin, cartoon shookin, fry cookin, college failin, rock not bandin, shooting for the top and landed with a plop looking as big as a bull and that nose ring. Sorry. I really got nothing big" -"How are you 19 and dropped out of college? - -You walked on to campus and then walked right back off?" -"Your cat is cuter than you, no need to tell you dropped out of college, the principal probably kicked you out for frightening other students" -Are you the actor for Meg griffin? -Do you cry as often as your pictures indicate? -Aint no way youre 19💀 -"""i want to play a game"" looking ass" -You look like a stoner chick that ALWAYS packs the bowl.   -You look older than 19.... Much older. -"Forever single, definitely a democrat, and a cat lady." -Have you seen Bob's Burgers? It's about your life. -I can’t roast you since this hits too close to home -"Fresh out of moms basement, -Another MAGA supporter that doesn’t know how to shower or keep a job. Keeping the stereotype alive I see." -If depression had a mascot you would be it. -If only you were obsessed with general hygiene -You look like body odour in physical form. -You just roasted yourself enough -Ok but WHICH cartoons specifically. This can make all the difference 😂 -Pro Hamas? -Blind people call you ugly -i know u got a dirty ass bong -i assume that's only one of the cats? -I would roast you but your in to rock music so your cool -You look like you smell like olive oil and garlic -You probably will vote for Kamala and your reasoning is because you don’t like trump. -I'd do my best but you're hot so 🤷‍♂️ -Do you like Tom & Jerry? -If I was Meruem and you were my Komugi then I’d rather take 100 Poor Man’s roses in the asshole. -"""Shut up, Meg.""" -I forget the character from A bug's Life. -She looks like she says she’s a punk but listens to Green Day and suicidal tendencies  -"Welcome to the best days of your life, and you already have a cat" -Your name is Barbara isn't it -Didn't know phones had a ugly af feature -comment -Aunt Jeremiah -Look like if ASAP Rocky was a lunch lady -I am so glad you pointed out that you're black. I wasn't sure if you were or not -They finally released the GTA 5 gay mod. -I bet you can tell us more about astrology than what your dad looks like -"You look like you steal purses, just for the purse." -" Idk what's more beat up, the foam part of your headphones or your booty hole." -Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife. Hide yo husband -Whats your gang? The pink panthers? -"In the joint, this guy got rejected as a prison bitch for being too gay." -Aunt Jemima cheesin hard for pride month -You look like I wouldn’t need to cross the street if you were walking in my direction. -god be makin anyone 6'2 these days -Niiiiiice gang colour! Not familiar with the affiliation but it makes you look fabulous… -When you wear a vagina as your outfit. -You look like you volunteered to be one of Michael Jackson’s victims. -A$ap Cocky -You’re why Dave Chappelle tried to join the Klan. -nigga look like he just came from under the bed -Your teeth look like a row of urinals. -Lil Nas x has let hisself go -"Okay, junior, you’re either 6’2” or you’re 155 lbs…….. but you ain’t both." -You remind me of the black cross dressing cheer leader from the longest yard. -Definitely raps about hello kitty or my little pony -You are lying. You are mammy two shoes from tom and Jerry -"What part of, “keep it on the down low did you not understand “" -What the hell is even that? -Big Taylor Swift fan -Aww did your mama pick this outfit for you? -Dressed like an NBA prospect on draft night. -You look like a prison favorite -Walmart version of RuPaul. -Ohhh hello pretty boy! I bet you're popular with the other thugs in your all male gang(bangs) -you're already roasted -What what in your butt indeed. -Ghetto pink panther 😩😭 -N.W.GAY -I bet people ask you to do the Ricardo dance everywhere you go -You look like you’re apart of Team Girls from the Longest Yard. -Have to strap 2 toothbrush together for those bad boys -Jeremiah clearly uses more water for his teeth than his face. -YOU'RE BLACK!? -Unlocked character holding a sign while wearing pink is wild. -You look like Mr. Popo from dbz -"You're a mean one, Mr Grinch lol. Boy mouth built like a Dr.Seuss character." -"If this were jeopardy, the correct response to this image would be, “What do you get when you shit into a cotton candy machine?”" -Nigga look like asap smooth -they went black and they ran right back -That's a weird way to say you're still waiting for your dad to come back from the store -"Probably get downvoted for giving a compliment instead of a roast, but your transition seems to be going well." -If it ain’t Lafayette -"When you came out to your parents they just laughed and said - -""yeah no shit""" -seen gay porn less fruity than this guy -P Diddler -"Like every Nigerian ever, just happy to be here." -"Sorry,dude u have already been flamed" -You look like you’re ready for the WNBA -Dahmer would have eaten you for a snack -Did you find the 5th element? -Young Ruby Rhod -I’m glad you told us you were black because it’s really hard to tell in your pictures you provided. -"""Jeremiah was a bullfrog."" Never realised what this song meant until now." -Jeremiah really WAS a bullfrog! -"6’ 2 and 155. Dude eat some food. - -Also the 70s funk band called. They need you on stage." -"That vapid stare, bro. It’s like eye balling the void." -Yo gums are long -No needed ur already rosted💀 -Ja Rule had kids? -Taking a break from stealing iPhones you can’t activate I see. Slacker. -If Lil Nas X was transitioning to a noisy grandmother. -The type of blackpink I don’t want in my area -A$ap cocks -Dick me down ASAP Roquan 😂 -You look like you tryna catch a charge just for the prison sex -I bet your weight is higher than your FICO -I always wonder what happened to Juwanna Mann. Glad to see you baller. -ASAP Her/She -Mansa Musa if he blew his wealth on meth -GAYSAP Rocky -You look like Gay Chappelle. -"No roasting from me. Nice to meet you. I’m M43, white, 6’1 - 185, my name is ALSO Jeremiah 😃" -A$AP Soggy -Genuinely thought you where a black women -Lil Nas Y - Try our new neapolitan tampon! 🍨 -"Oh my God who ordered ""True Blood"" Lafayette from Temu? - -My guess is you were shooting for little Nas x. But didn't make it past Deon Richmond trapped in a bath and body works overnight" -"Wearing all that pink, you ain't on the down low no more lol" -Gay Chappell -A$AP COCKMEAT SANDWICH -"Jerry, gotta tell ya. - -You looked like you were left at summer camp and never picked up." -You make Ru Paul look as male as Chuck Norris. -This is the trans aunt/uncle Kendrick Lamar was rapping about -Why are you dressed like a pair of labias and with a clitoral durag? -Looks like a Nigerian prince that wants my bank information so he can share his fortune with me. -All hail king T’swallah! Protector of Gaykanda! -Why do you want someone to roast you ! You're already roasted 😹😶 -"In a parallel universe, Dion Sanders followed his first love of fashion design." -"It's your friendly doll, Blarbie!" -Were is your father? Go pick the milk for 20 years?? -What was the cooks name from True Blood? -"6’2” in the streets, 3” in the sheets" -Jackie Oh-shit! -Dude we can see what colour your skin is. -You look like that gau gangster from the boondocks but cheaper -You already look roasted. Just a bit too much. There's nothing left -"Not really a roast attempt, but can someone explain to me, a non american, these weird headwraps african american gangmembers wear? Is it just a fashion statement or is there a function? - -Edit: Also good luck getting out of prison, these modern ones where they make you wear pink just look depressing..." -Looking like a discount KSI -Why u look like u salvage through the junk hard !!! -"6’2, I didn’t realise they stacked shit that high" -That paper has probably more rights than you -I'm waiting for my bombaclot reading. -Did you go to Cranbrook cause you look like a Clarence -Even more? -Are you sure it's not Je'rah-my'ya? -"Those 155, is that your gloryhole count?" -155 years in prison is a very short sentence. -You could wear your headphones as a mouth guard. -"You forgot to put ""super gay"" in your description. But it doesn't really matter." -"6'2"" and 155? Bro you are a skeleton dipped in chocolate fondue." -OP is the love child of Cheshire Cat and Tracy Morgan. -"You’re 6’2 and Black huh, I didn’t know they stacked shit up that high." -Dude looks like a lady -"Shoulda been a bullfrog, not Lafayette from Wish" -Jeremiah? More like Aunt Jemima -Too late! -You look roasted enough -"Welp, I was going to call it a night, but after seeing your picture, I didn't drink nearly as much as I thought." -Black culture bought off Temu -Whoopie Silverberg -Thats a man? -Gay Lamar from GTA -I didn’t know Dion sanders was trans -"Man, you look like Jimmy J.J. Walker and the gay cook from True Blood had an ass baby. And bro, Lil Nas X ain’t ever gonna hook up with you, so quit stalking him." -You like a Woman in her 30s man. Just like those woman in Cartoons -Like a milk dude dipped in pepto bismol -I can't roast coal -AGAIN?? -U would have a nasty build for middleweight ngl -iShowPenis -ishowslowness -"Lafayette from Tru Blood, you big black gay teddy bear, I missed seeing you after the show ended." -You look roasted enough for me... -The fuck happend with Travis scott 😭😭 -"Not gonna be racist but. You should change your fit, your looking like a hello kitty fan girl" -"are you familiar with the ""Drake the type of guy..."" jokes? - -all of them apply to you 😔 - -r/drakethetype" -"Bro is already roasted -(Because it seems like he has burnt) -Black joke 😂" -OG loc! I remember picking you up from county in San Andreas -You look like your great granddaddy was an assistant pimp and you be assistant pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin. -You give off cracker energy -Thank you for letting us know ow you’re black and a man. Those weren’t obvious at all…. -Damn...Lamar from Revenge of The Nerds making a comeback! -It's okay to be a little zesty Jeremiah we already knew you don't have to come out like this -"🎶Butterfly in the skyyyy, I can fuck twice the guuuuys - -Take a look, how long it took, for me to swallooooow 🎶" -Ruby Rhod IRL. -Dirty Draws X -Gay Tracy Morgan -Velveteen Dream here to train the boys. -omg these replies are so funny but i just wanna say your smile is so pretty and you look really good in pink! -"There ARE OTHER colors besides pink my dude. - -I promise they ALSO look good." -"Bro looks like he says ""tee-hee"" and skips away" -Pootie Tang Gay version… girlie-ta! … -Just graduated from Ms. Cleo’s “CallMeNow University” -Cant roast u tbh I like ur style. :D -Not going to roast you. Just want to say how inspirational you are posting this picture here. You're a hallmark example of a strong black woman. -Sally Struthers has entered chat -"ASAP Rocky before he got saved by Rhianna. “For 40 cents a day, you can help this child eat for a year” lookin ass." -"there isn't any need to roast you, you're already burnt." -Handsome fella. I’m sure you steal the ladies hearts THEN their wallets. -"bro is the ""just a friend"" in every fake reddit story" -Jeremiah was a bullfrog -Well heres aunt Jeremiah -Lincoln would've torn up the Emancipation Proclamation if he saw you. -"Handsome tall inshape man asks to be roasted on Reddit. The fat losers home.  -Dude your friends are meant to roast you. Or are you the token guy that all our mates hate. " -"It's not pink it's Salmon. Your giving true prison bottom vibes. Hope your pants are sagging to your buttcrack so everyone knows you're taken by ""big bubba""." -Roast you? You’re already burnt 🤦‍♂️ -can u hand me a kfc bucket from ur fridge -Breaking into homes to use the WiFi -🎶Jeremiah was a bull frog. He had some chicklet lookin ass teeth. He never worried bout a single word I said. His room always smelled like queef🎶 -You look like Ralphy if Disney remade A Christmas Story. -Did you use Billie Jean as the funeral song for your dad's funeral? -Fruity as hell my boy lookin like Wesley snipes in Too Wong Foo -Damnnnnnn you look like shorty off of scary movie. -Facial and Body hair girlfriend!... Just sayin.. -That’s a toothy blowjob if I’ve ever seen one -Pinky guy ? Are you straight ? 🤨 -"I’m a Libra, I wear cardigans & Birkenstocks" -"You identify as a Bunny , and if they don't call you Thumper you get pretty angry. Thats your life story" -You’re already well done. -"Not so ""pretty on pink""" -"Pleased to meet you, Jeremiah. Nice smile! - -My best wishes, - -Chus (Spain)" -Why doesn't Jeremiah say Geronimo and jump off a cliff? -You’re like an old banana…black on the outside but white on the inside -At 6’ 2” 155 lbs you probably got just one stripe in your pink pajamas bruduh man -N -Cute smile -Not how I pictured a bullfrog. -"Are transitioning from Aunt Jemima to a man - -Or from a man obey Aubt Jemima?" -"You don’t need anyone here to roast you. - -Walking round looking like that means you must get mocked every second of every day." -you could make a decent Lil Wayne impression with that height -I guarantee you always carry around one pink sock -All I see is floating teeth and headphones -One tree is giving you oxygen. I feel sad for it -You look like a wannabe SoundCloud rapper who would rhyme 'orange' with 'orange' . . . And in a REALLY uninteresting way to boot . . . -You’re so cute!!! -"You look like you say, ""thtop is thilly!"" Unironically." -Damn you really trying to look like Angel Dust if he lived in the Hood areas of Pentagram City -wow -Yep. You look just like a bullfrog. -The disappointing offspring of Ruby Rhod! -Dave Chappell gay son -I thought Jeremiah was a bullfrog -"One might think your style is well thought out, but when you see the condition of your headphones cushion, it’s evident you just stumbled on your grandmother’s laundry basket." -I wondered what Miss Cleo was doing these days. -I bet he likes chewing finger nails but only the fake ones -The Velveteen Dream at home. -"He looks like a noob making a character in 2k, but didn't want to spend any money and hasn't been playing long" -Make me some syrup -If lil yachty had a son he left in the projects -Are your elbows as crusty and cracked as those headphones are? -You don’t look fun to hang out with -You're more pink than a pussy -This looks like a boogie dressed up as an auntie -you look pretty much roasted more like burnt -I can only see r/roastme ? y’all can see the guy? -It seems like you were born already roasted for a bit too long -. -the type of interracial gay porn I skip ☠️ -You look like the definition of colonoscopy -You look like under the bed -"One a scale from 1-10 how disappointed is your dad in you? Oh plot twist, you don't have a dad!" -Definitely want to be referred to as they/them -"you mean gender, years, decimeters and kilos right?" -You float when you smell fried chicken -"""What what in my butt"" - -Search it on youtube" -The slave traders had to pay the master to take this one… -You look the person that everyone hides from and pretends they are not home when you show up because if they let you in they will they will somehow end up waking up on some random beach somewhere with a tattoo they don’t remember getting and wearing someone else’s pants. -That’s the heaviest 155 I’ve ever seen -You annoy my eyes -Roast you? Looks like you’re already well done to me! -No -Definitely not gay! -Milli Vanilli and Wham love child. -Bro living ina place with paper thin false walls. He ain’t gettin none. -Uncle jemima -IShowSlow ahh dude 😂😂😂 -One word can already obliterate a whole country. -God already did that -Blah blah blah something racist. Now upvote me -"Dude looks at what *God* did to you, haven't you been punished enough?" -This Mothafucka stole my name and made a meme of himself -"I don't normally do this but, you look like the wish version of Lafayette from True Blood" -"6’2 - 155????? - -Auntie … eat a burger, please!!!!" -I want my tv back -Serena's final form. -Impossible you look too sweet :’) -Confused -You look like the Cheshire Cat -Out here looking like somebody auntie -"""when I get to America I will wrap myself in the color of vagina""" -Nah see is black -Inside out pu**y -"What the fuck is 155? - -Felonies?" -6’2 and 155?? Are you a professional bulimic? -Happy pride month unc! -I can't you are already burnt 👨🏿 -Well well well -*ugh* -This one cracked -"Yes Jeremiah, you look like a bullfrog 🐸" -I want to axe you if deem your real teef? -What’s a frush? -Kools or Newports? -You look like youre roasted enough bro -"Is that an durag or your mom’s underwear? I don’t know what you're trying to, but if you’re trying to look gay, you're clearly successful." -You didn't need to tell us you were black -Hey Milli where’s Vanilli? -jimi walker hostess snowball the creamy white in the middle is his sugar daddy -"Loved you in ""Mannequin""" -"Happy pride month, I guess." -Never knew asap rocky would wall off this low -That photo makes you look like you have huger bajongers -Black -What would the old Eminem say……… dudes gay -Jeremiah was a bullfrog -idk man you look roasted enough already -Nigga🤣🤣🤣🤣 -"Nothing to do here, already looks roasted to me" -Wdym bro you’re already roasted any darker and it’d be burnt 😬 -"Roast you ? , but you're already roasted" -There are so many disappointed fat white girls -Ignore these haters; I think you look absolutely… *DYNOMITE!!* -I think you’re doing a fine job of that all by yourself. -Ahem... JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROOOGGGG -Princess Leia -"Bruh, your hands say Jeremiah but everything else says Leticia. You’re built like Newport 100 but dress like a Virginia Slim" -Lil’Nas X from wish -You look roasted already /j -loved you in Revenge of the Nerds -If the energizer bunny was a person -You put ketchup on your hot dogs -"Miss Tubman, tell me more about the Underground Railroad." -Lookin like ‘Pillow Cam’ from the dickset 😂 -Temu ASAP Rocky -If Miss Piggy & Bill Cosby had offspring…. -“We got ASAP Rocky at home!” -No. -Asnap Rocky. -He looks like someone Michael Jackson Preordered to touch innapropriately 🤣 -Temu ksi -"You look roasted enough..more like burned. -Also, if you never said the ""M"", I would never guess your gender. - -Finally, what's that random 155? -Women you assaulted? -Beers stolen? -People you shot?" -Bros outfit got him looking like my asshole mid shit -"Chrstmas is over, and so is Halloween." -Is your last name Goldberg? -6'2 and only 155 got damn boi how are you alive? -"You've been @ing Diddy on every post, hoping he'd pull up." -This isn't Grindr mate you don't need to give me your resume before I tear you a new one -aren’t you roasted enough already dark chocolate? -Damn he ugly -Lil Yass X -I thought you were a single mom -comment -"Vhuge -Vforehead" -"For someone who loves sunflowers, you sure don’t get a lot of sun" -Let me guess vagina eating vegan -Your forehead is bigger than mine and I'm bald -You definitely put raisins in your potato salad. -The entire population of Kenya could refuge on your forehead. -Vegan Vagina -vagisil victim? -"Vegan -Virgin" -Veird -"V- exhausting - -V- dramatic" -"Three, vile" -VVanker! There we are! Two V's -Venereal-disease and vagisil -Vast Vorehead -"First V is obviously Vegan -With you rocking that blue hair I’d say the second is Victim, bet you’re continually offended by everything…" -Vapid and vulgar  -You look like Kurtwood Smith in drag. -You look like your entire personality is based on pretending Wicca is a real thing. -"You haven't seen 22 in 20 years and I'm not sure about two words beginning with ""V"" describing you but VOMIT has to be one of them. Vile might be the 2nd." -Vacuous vagina -Well you made a mistake saying that you will wait for marriage -Vegan Velociraptor. -Visible… unfortunately 😂 -My dad told me a story. He said that once when he was on LSD he fucked parakeet. So I’m wondering if you’re my sister. -You're the blue haired feminist who gives all the other feminists a bad name -"Maybe English is your third language so I won't be too harsh but, for future reference boring and humourless don't begin with V. - -You're welcome." -"Vomit, Vegan" -Is vagrant one of them? -Vfucking Useless -Brain function of a vegetable -"A is for Apple, B is for Bear, V is for running away from the blue haired psycho with poloroids if her victims plastered on her wall." -The human equivalent of a fruit cake. -Vacancy vagina -Vaginal vinegar -"Vein, vulgar, vintagey, vulturous vamp vacillating between a versatile variety of vegetables and vicious vampiric vasectomies, vowing vehement victory for the vindication of vulvas by vivacious use of the village vibrator, venomously venting and vexingly virtue signaling for varied vague values whatever’s in vogue, vying for validation, all a veil for one’s lack of voice" -Pretentious and Ugly. Fuck your V rule. -Violent Vegan? You look like a violent vegan. -The 2 V's....hmmmm....I am going to say.......verpes and vinegary.... -OnlyVans. -"Virgin, Vagina licker" -Virgin and vegan -Vugly -"But people usually describe you with words that start with ""b"", ""h"" and ""p""." -Verdant. You look like The Grinch That Stole Candlemas -"It’s not vegan, you would have told us. Virgin and vacuous." -*VOID* … as in the one on your shoulders -Wouldn't be shocked if you braid your 😺 hair. -"1. VERY ugly -2. VERY disgusting" -Virgin and VAGaterian -Vile vulva? -Is Vaginosis one of them? -Vegan with a venereal disease -"Vapid, vacuous, vile, vagabond, venereal, vacant..." -"Virgin and Vegan? I think you meant one word since they basically mean the same. And no, I didn’t gather it by the plants in the back. I figured it out by the colour of your hair and your… face… or whatever you’d call that." -Venomous Viper!!!!! -Very vucken annoying -Vagasile -Venti Vagina -All that pictures in ya wall would fit in your forehead fr -"22F, more like 44F." -Vainglorious in your own mind. Vapid in everyone else’s. -Voring. Vesperate. -Virgin forever -Vegetable. -Vomit -"I don't care which V words describe you, just get me my latte already. You're going to be working here a long time so you better learn to be good at your job." -Vile -"I noticed you keep pictures of everyone that turned you down. - -The hair dye said blonde but you messed that up. When you took your dog to the vet he begged to be put down. - -The milkman delivers you sour milk it matches your personality." -"vegan vagina. -and thats exactly what comes to mind." -Volatile vicious -Viral Vaginitis -220 -The downstairs looks like it matches the upstairs. By that I mean you look like you have a Blue Waffle -The top hit two years ago when you posted this same fucking thing under a different user account was “vacant vagina” … -Who said you’re allowed to get out of the Aquarium behind you? Go back in there now! -Is that box dye? Ew -"Violent vomiting - - - -It doesn't describe you but it does describe what I did when I saw this picture" -Vucking Vunt -"I know two things beginning with V which should be prescribed before going near you, those are Vagisil and Viagra" -"Is venereal disease first, or second on that list?" -Failed is spelled with an F not a V -Very vulnerable -"Vegan, very-slutty?" -Vulgar Virgin -Vapid and Vindictive -Two v words. Hmm. So it’s not valuable. And because of your dad it’s not virgin so… -Vautistic? Vugly? -Papa smurf done knocked up a crack head back in the day -Very Vugly??? -Vegan Virgin -Varicose veins? -That trucker tan is vicious -Vegan Virgin (how sad) -Venereal virus -Vaginal velocoraptor -Vaginaless vegan -"Vegan, virgin, vaccidental birth?" -Based on how sickly you look I would assume vaccinated vegan? -Probably about to go geocashing after your sweet potatoe granola. -vegan vesbian -"You look like the type of person who, when asked to describe themselves, starts sounding like they're talking about a pokemon card." -Vsmurf. -Didn't know my ex was transitioning into a female. -"Virgin, violent." -Vugly Vegan -Velociraptor Vag? -Vaginosis Virgin -"I don’t know what you’re trying to be here. Some hippy girl, a grandma in her 80s (it’s the blouse) or trying to signal the aliens with your forehead." -"My Viper will Visit the Vast and Vacant, Vacuum of yours.May the Valuable Vanilla erupts in a Volcanic manner. May my soul be blessed as I take Vacation and seek refuge in it. I will be Vocal about it, as I Varnish it Vibrantly. Leaving no gaps for Ventilation. It is Vital for my wellbeing afterall. I will Vow and Vouch that it will be Valued, and hopefully I shall be a Victorious Visitor." -Vag Vomit -Vacuous Vagina -Virgin is definitely not on the list. -Nuuuu uhhhh one word virgin 👉🦐 -"Poor girl, we have a whole alphabet that makes more than two words, including the letter V that describes you. Some can even go together, like victoriously bland and ridiculous looking." -So I'm actually curious about the V's. I'm assuming vegan and vaccinated. I wanna know please -"Venturing vigorously, Valerie, a vivacious vixen, ventured via vast valleys, vividly visualizing various vibrant vistas. Veering victoriously, Valerie vaulted over volatile volcanoes, voraciously vying for victory. - -Veils of velvet violet veered over the vast, verdant valleys, veiling the vivacious vixen's ventures. Vowing to venture valiantly, Valerie ventured via valleys, valleys of velvety violets and verdant vines, valuing the vibrant visions that veered through her vigilant mind. - -Valerie's voyage veered vastly, verdantly, and vigorously, vanquishing vile villains, vanishing vicious vipers, and valiantly vindicating the virtuous and the vexed. Verily, Valerie's valor knew no bounds, her voice vibrating with victory, her vitality invigorating the very air around her. - -Vividly, Valerie's voyage veered into the vast void of the velvety velvet sky, where the vastness of the universe unveiled its vast secrets, vibrating with a voiceless, yet vibrant, vibration. Visibly, Valerie voyaged through the vast vacuum, vanishing into the velvet veil of the night, victorious in her venture, forever valiant in her quest for the very essence of life." -Virgin & vag lover -Voyeuristic Ventriloquist -"Two V’s? Your Vulva, plus every man you know’s Vasectomy." -"Are the Polaroids on the wall souvenirs of guys that “don’t understand me” -Two V’s? Or 3 -Vegan, Virgin and very very alone" -"Honey, self provoked depression is about to butt fuck you so no need for roasting. You are going to roast and toast yourself pretty soon." -"Very annoying -Very ugly -Very unlikable -Very unpleasant -Very unfuckable -I know that's more than two words beginning with V but it is what it is" -Voluminous vacuous vagrant varmint -I know that one is vegan and I know the other isn't virgin. Very lazy eye? -VVhore -Very Vaginal -"Vegan, virgin?" -Very vibrant -Give me back my crystals Sarah ! -Vercose veins -Vnapping Vurtle -Vinegar Vagina - Ahhh… vacterial vaginoses -Vapid ventriloquist-dummy -That is the longest fucking arm ive ever seen damn its like 6 ft long arm .what do you hold it up off the ground so you don't trip yourself? Looks like you already tripped over it and hit thst face on the concrete several times .you face plant you cant do like normal and catch yourself ? -"Is your hair green? Someone has been blowing their nose in your hair ,? Just curious is it green down there below too?" -Vaginaless is one of them -What do you call it when both eyes look to the right side ? Do you walk in circles you must be an excellent driver . You take s right then another right and another and one more your back to the first right turn you made . -"vaginal virgin. Cuz ain’t nobody tryna smash that. - -(Ur hair really brings out ur eyes tho. Can’t resist pointing that out.) - -Vomit vinducing." -Vtrump Voter -You look like you lost you mind method cosplaying Bjork. I'd put the odds you have something similar to the swan dress as close to 50/50 as we can get here folks. -"You look like the type of woman who would attend an orgy and then complain that ""everyone"" wanted you, but... The real truth would've been that you got passed over by literally everybody!. Even a elevator wouldn't go down on you and your fingers go limp on valentine's night! You're 22 and this is the best looking you will get! I bet I can say right now something you have never heard before! ""You're pretty"" - -Have you're parents stopped changing the locks on the front door to keep your embarrassing ass out? Still stealing pens from banks? - -But for real, you look like a cool chick that would be fun to hang out with... but I'm not sure when your carer will allow that." -Vicious vagina! Does your vagina have teeth? Like in that movie teeth the girl vagina bit off the boyfriends dick . This expains the virgin part. -"Eat something. - -Please😭" -Very-pretentious is #3 -Polaroids of your victims. -vulgar and vaginal infection? -Are you related to stretch armstrong ? -Need some help getting rid of one of them. Vs im available .. i will take you out to eat at the best steakhouse around no more vegan. -Vegan Very offended by everything -Vugly Vippie Vannabe? -Vegan vaginitis -Vulgar vagina? -Veal and Venison -"Is ""Vacant"" one of them?" -Vegan and Vucking gross? -"Ok two words that start with V. -Vegetable and Vulnerable." -"Vegan and Vagitarian. It's okay, you don't need to tell us. We already know." -You look like one of those vegans that hold funerals in the meat aisle at Tesco's and also has a burning hatred for men. -Virulent vaginosis? -"Why does it look like your on set at a 70s porn movie. Your dressed like a modern 70s porn model. All that confidence and still can't be normal. Two v words how about more -Vulger -Virgin -Virus -Violation -Vasectomy -Vague -Vexed -Violent -Volatile -Vulnerable -Vitriolic -Vicious -Vengeful -Did the Dr slap you. Your Mom dropped you but caught your hair before you hit the ground. Look like you almost got scalped but face scared him away only half done. You polish that frontal lobe area" -"You look like Vecna, either that or virgin 😆" -Vapid Ventriloquist dummy -The entire Motherboard character could already be on your hair as far as hair color goes ... but probably not in a good way - u should maybe cut your bangs a bit so u look more like motherboard from cyberchase and that way u dont look so ugly because of ur hair -Vasectomy -Vincent’s vagina -blud bout to explain how stars determine your life💀 -Vegetable? The kind tou push around on tour plate ut never actually eat! -Venereally vacuous? -22yr old who looks like a 52 yr old. -Cara Delevingne is back on the meth! -Vapid and volatile? -Blue hair and the 1000 yard stare. You've seen a restraining order up close at least once. -Definitely a vegan with pronouns -vegan virgin -What is the plastic wrap on your arm if you don’t mind answering? -Vegan Virgin -You look like you can’t spell so I’m guessing you meant vdumb and vugly -Is it Visual Vasectomy? -Vulgar and venomous. -Vague & vapid. -Vagasil -Virgo vegan that lives in a VAN down by the riVER -Vampire victim? -" you’re 22!? I thought you were like a 60yr old mom with 15 baby daddies trying to raise them all going through a mid life crisis. But with the amount of heroin it looks like you use, you are probably past you’re mid life" -Vegan and needs lots of Vagisil -I bet your therapist is driving now a Porsche -Yes she does... -Vugly Virgin -Virgin Vegan -Virgin and velociraptor? -Vacant and vacuous. -veird vulgar -Venereal visease -You look like the kinda girl that calls her ex boyfriend “my abuser”. -Vegan Virgin -G foce -"Venereal disease, vagrant" -Vapid and vagabond -"nice try, virgin and virginity only count as one!" -Vineyard Virgin -"Vapuous, vain and vague" -Very Virgin -Vaginaless? -Vbig-as-forehead. -a virgin with vaginal disease. -"One day Gargamel will catch you, stinky smurf." -Vestigial? -venereal vagina -Virgin. Vegan -Virgin vuman -22? You look 40. Go eat some veal and vitamins -Hello Sir -Vigazzled vigina? -veteran virgin -"Only two? - -Vacuity, valetudinarian, vapid, vexatious, venereal diseased, virus, vulgar" -Sad and sick do not start with 'V'. -Vegan virgin -Vegan Virgin!! 💯 Sure -VVhore -Vulcan vomit -Vboring and vbnoxious -Venereal disease and vegan? -You look like you'd blow Bernie Sanders for free healthcare -Vugly attention-seeking vidiot? -Vague Virginian? -Behold the vegan virgin in their natural habitat -virgin and vain -Crazy doesn't start with V -Very vile -Loving all the photos of you victims on the wall. -You look like you smell like old brussel sprouts -"**Vain** and **vapid**, next time make it hard. - -Good luck with making it hard." -Is vorgettable one of them? -"You look like a mixture of hippie and holocaust survivor. - -Akso, whats with all the instant photos in the wall? All the man you gave HIV ? Venereal vixen." -Venereal and vomit? -How was graduating from The Evergreen State college? -VVeird -Polaroids in background? Is that your body count? -hmmm a Vmethhead? -Vegan and Very annoying gotcha 👌 -The circus know you're missing -Neck of a 20 something face of a 60 something -Ready for a global warming protest -"Yeah, the blue hair is an immediate sign of your toxicity." -Virus Vegan -Lay off the copper. Your hair is turning green. -Social justice varrior vibe -Vnasty. -Vegan virgin vagina -Vagenosis and vile? -Very virgin -Vagabond and Vaginalis -Vacant vagina -Vegan -Vagitarian Vegan -You can head butt people round corners -">(22f) There are two words beginning with V that can describe me, roast meeeeee - -Vajinocerus Vadge" -You look like a whore in a Van Gogh painting -"Blue hair, but there is no only fan, WTF, my theory is wrong ?" -Vile vulva? -Are they Polaroids of your victims -Vegan? -Vaginal Virus -VVoke Venom -Virgin? -Validictorian Vegan is your entire persona. You can only carry on a conversation if you're competing with someone to passive aggressively demonstrate you're a better vegan than them. -Vegan virgin? -Veterinarian vegan -Very gay -Vegan virgin hasn't had any meat in her ever 🤣 -Vegan with varicose veins? -Vulture vibe -Venereal STDs and Vain -"There is no word that can describe you better, but 2v" -Vasectomy validation -Vile vampire? -Polaroids of all your victims? -Vegan virgin ! -Definitely not ‘Virgo’ or the photographs in the last row would have followed the correct order -Venerate vasectomy -Vaginosis and vapid? -So close!😁 wierd starts with an “w” -Hippie Smurf -vorgettable? vugly? vunemployed? -Very pretty -"I am guessing your 2 V’s are Vaping Varnish bc, well you need something to dull your sense of fashion and design." -Vato and vagina? -Virgin -"There’s no way you’re only 22, tbh I don’t even believe that you’re female. You can tell your girlfriend whatever you want but I don’t think she’ll believe you" -22?? Don't you mean 42? -Vaccinated Vagabond? -Vegan virgin -comment -"A ham sandwich is not a ""soul mate.""" -"So, by finished you mean dishonorable discharge right?" -What did you do in the military? Eat?! -Gravy seal reporting for duty! Meal team six hooah! -"Just think, if you painted yourself green you could be She-Hulk IRL" -"Usually the joke is forehead or fivehead, never seen someone with a threehead before." -Where the hell did u find a burgundy tye die shirt? -"I bet your catchphrase is “don’t worry, I’ll make it look like an accident”" -Looks like Sals tonight's big loser -You married your bunk mate after the two of you fell in love. Go Navy! -You look like Shrek in whiteface. -Where were you deployed? McDonald’s? -"For those who don’t know, rings like that in the military measure how far into the anus you go for optimal pleasure." -your platoon lined up to do dishonorable discharge on your face -It must suck to always look like your on the verge of tears.  -"I’ll guess 10 years in the Oklahoma Coast Guard Reserve? - -Um, thank you for your service…" -Dad bod Bam Margera -Marrying the Taylor swift blow up doll from deployment does not count as a soul mate my guy -Congratulations to you & your future husband! -I loved you in What We Do In The Shadows -I'm happy to see that you put two rings on your soul mate. -Is your soulmate fent? -Trauma reactivated. Soulmate obliterated. -I think you meant “cell mate” -You look like someone who thinks Axe body spray is the pinnacle of smelling good. -Our tax dollars hard at work just so this guy can have a hair style that looks like a hat. -“Maybe I don’t know how the internet works; Maybe  I’m just a caveman lawyer.” -"Oh good, did you bring the 12 year old back from the Middle East in your duffle bag or did you have the coyote bring her across?" -Wolfman Jack off -Your soulmate.. what's his name? -"Yep, you look like the type that could even make tie-dye boring." -Can't do it man... I found my girl... got my job... 10 years out of the military. Iraq war vet... glad to see another make it man... proud of u... no roasting from me... just love brother. -Took you this long to find MR. Frodo? you lived in the same village. -The ONLY 10 you did in the military was some monkey pox'd up fruit named Paco. -"Soul mate = Hand - -Also my guy looking like the blow up ""love doll"" version of Vincent D'Onofrio" -Aren't you one of the trailer park boys? -You mean an Asshole Mate. -Cookie jar-head -Overcame? Those eyes are still staring back to Fallujah -Go make a hallmark movie now -Whats up with the blank ass signet ring? Do you just stamp squares into your wax seals when you send missives? -I’m guessing you were Navy. -"Nah, mate. You're on a hot streak. Enjoy it." -"No roast from me today, genuinely happy for you dude" -We can't roast someone who is already on fire -Welcome home from the Chair Force.... sure that carpel tunnel injury was pretty harrowing.... better take it easy. -The real winner here is the military. -Too many rounds in the latrine glory hole i see. -You look like you would try and sell me a time share in Spain on a condo you don't own -Is that turtle from entourage?!? -Your soulmate was keeping it warm for ya -You look like Sal from that show - Impractical Jokers -You look like the circus owner from a modern Pinocchio play -You may have found your soul mate but your eyes aren’t on speaking terms -Your trauma so far -"With those rings and body hair and undoubtedly severe body odor you are about six months away from professional uber driver....""where to, boss?""" -You found your soulmate! What's his name? -Played military and found a one night hookup at the YMCA is more like it -Jonathan Fakes. -"“You know what I’d do if I won a millions bucks, man? 2 chicks at the same time”" -EYYYYYY IM WERKIN HEAR! -Now it’s the VAs turn to fuck you. Bring your own lube -"A pinky ring never belongs next a wedding ring, cmon man" -You have sad eyes -Nice Rings you find them in Tony Soprano’s grave? -"Nope, no roasting. But you're obviously still suffering trauma if you invite/need negative comments after what you've been through in the military...." -"You got a nice hairline, good looking too. There ain’t nothing to roast, you doing just fine there my man. Thank you for your service." -Good for you bro. -"One word, beautiful, thank u for sharing," -"All I’m seeing is ground beef shirt and sausage fingers, Cap’n Turducken." -I ⚘️ can't damnit! I am so happy for you!!!💙 -You’re a low key masochist for wanting to be roasted. Didn’t your drill sergeant do that enough? -It's the pinky ring for me. -When turtle grew up -Where's the basement you are locked inside? -Adam Richman tries military rations -Failed Star Trek Actor…. Still has hopes -Your barber already did -Steve from Minecraft if he was Hispanic -Looks like you main jigglypuff -"Honestly it’s hard to roast somebody when they seem happy and overcame trauma… but ok. - -You look like a Temu Commander Will Riker" -"I wouldn’t call 10 year on impractical jokers military service, Sal" -btw you kinda look like rapper called Momo from Slovakia. -"You may feel like a million bucks, but you look like deer nuts, which are under a million bucks." -Looks like Sal lost another episode of Impractical Jokers and had to post on r/RoastMe as punishment -How’s the Silver Bullet Band Doin’? -Looks like bam margera getting out of rehab about to go get his next fix -"Is that dark mass on the top of your head hair, or some fortunate grease which have managed to elude you?" -Your hairline is too good for you to get roasted -"Congratulations, Admiral Neckbeard!" -Temu Sam Gamgee -"Let me guess, you drive a Ford raptor and carry a p365....🤣" -You look like CyperPK if he was built like a semi-truck. -You left Star fleet? -Can’t wait to see the Netflix doc when you flip like Benoit -Is your soul mate in a THC vape pen? -You Don’t Need to BE ROASTED!! 10yrs. In the Military? You’re Already Cooked!!😉☘️☘️ -Proud to serve brother. 10 years is enough roasting. -Ty for your service. I'd roast you but you're not worth a 3 day ban. -There’s a peace treaty between your eyes. -How’s that 40% interest Camaro with a punisher sticker on it treating you -That pinky ring tho. -"Nah. Can’t do it. - -Thank you for your service." -Why would I roast anyone that served a dime -Your mustache is literally growing on your lip -Not going to to roast you. You did your country proud! Thank you for your service 🧡 -"Don’t ask. -Don’t tell. -Heart wants what it wants." -No roasting here. Amazing accomplishments my dude. Keep pushing! -Only losers come here to gloat -You look good! -"B-but... I want to congratulate you more than anything.... - - -Um, your hand writing SUCKS! -I dunno" -"How did bro survive without McDonalds in the military? -Bro probaply started eating the guns and bullets" -I bet you were that guy off full metal jacket who keeps fucking up and gets beat up with the soap in socks! Private Pile. 🍩 -"You look like a who’s from Dubai with his family but ran out of gas and needs my help so he can be on his way, and in return he’ll give me his “gold” rings in exchange." -U feel that way bc that's how much u spent on that face. -So where in Canada is she? -"“I feel like a million bucks” - -In Monopoly money" -Hold up -You look like 25 Dinars. It appears you spent your time in the service by pirating old mob movies. -A million bucks? I didn't realise inflation was that high. -Taking care of your cat is not military service. And just because you hang out with your 2 other trans friends on Saturday night and drink box wine doesn't mean you're in a militia either. -"Ok ill take 1 Gyro, a Bluetooth speaker, and the fake Rolex..." -Paulie called. He wants his pinky ring back. -Thank you for your service are you available to fix my washing machine? -GI Jose -"I see the Command Sergeant Major's bashing your face with his Non-commissioned officer -""BALLS"" in the barracks for the last 10 years really didn't help your self-esteem issues." -Why are the roasts on this subreddit always terrible and unfunny lol -"You shouldn't really consider a stripper to be your soul mate... How did you meet him if you aren't allowed to go to the velvet monkey? - -By trauma do you mean ""irrational fear of walking in the grass with your hands in your pockets whilst having not shaved for a week""? - -Bliss?" -Your eyes do not match you face -Assuming you’re a cook at Outback Steakhouse now -Who's going to tell him that a blowup up doll isn't the same as a soulmate -probably should have finished shaving your forehead bofore posting -Landscapers couldn’t even get that hairline corrected -"Congratulations on becoming the ""World's Most Generic Man""." -Mess hall clean up specialist -You might feel like a million bucks but you look like a dollar fifty -"“Soul Mate”. Bit of an odd name for your Fleshlight, but whatever." -Fat Pete Davidson -Back to da “Family” business???…fuhgeddaboudit -Thank you for your service. -i fucking thought you were masteroogwgay -That’s an impressive set of achievements for someone with such an obvious array of birth defects. -"Get a haircut hippy! 🤣🤣 -That's all I got. Thank you for your service, and I'm happy life is going well for you! 🇺🇸✊🏼" -Can you get VA disability for helmet hair? -He looks like the progeny of Ice Cube f**king a potato -"Can’t roast, you’re hot af 😂😍" -The Salvation Army is not “the military” -Is it as fake as your Cartier ring? (Your life now) -"Hey buddy! Fu*k these losers. They’re trying to roast someone winning at life. Congratulations, and if we ever meet, I’ll toast you instead." -Roast??? How about toast you 🍾🍾🍾 -"KISS Army is not the military, fyi" -">~~Just finished 10 years in the military~~ - -Just finished 10 years *trying and failing to make weight for* the military" -Thank you for not defending shit but bombing 15 year old Arab farmers. -Loose those rings in a much older lady’s pool filter. -I meeeeeannnn you're pretty good looking -No need to roast. A pinky ring in 2024 does that for me. -Telenovela actor here -Never trust a man wearing a pinkie ring -"Not gonna roast ya here. 10 years of service plus overcoming the trauma? That's something not many men do. Congrats, sir." -Your wedding band is so afraid of your face that it's migrating to your pinky -"A good turd can lead to mass confidence….tonight, the fan stays off." -You sure as shit don’t look like a million bucks! -You mean they booted you out after ten years -"You look like you're an aspiring country singer who just put out a song called ""Tequila Lady""" -"Actually, I can’t." -Your rings are bigger than your life span for sure. -"1) the Salvation Army isn’t the military. -2) locating your other shoe and calling it “soul mate” is misleading. -3) a million bucks is dirty and heavy." -You look like that one person from every movie who is always single and drunk -Congrats on getting out man! Hope everything improves from here on out. -My biggest roast on you and your life is the insane fact that unless you have put your faith in Jesus Christ and acknowledged that he died and bled on the cross to pay for your sins that everything you have and love /value will be taken from you (it was never your to begin with as it was freely given by god) and there for your really a future ultra poor suffering man walking .... I do not want this for you or anyone but its a grim and sad reality for countless lost souls in this world who reject his truth. If you have put your faith in JESUS CHRIST and declared him your lord king savior who rose from the dead +paid for your sins then you are truly unroastable and among the most brilliant and blessed beings in this universe.... -That means you’re on the internet -"how's ""your"" kid" -You have kind eyes that haven’t seen the dark side of the world yet. They lack understanding of human suffering at the hands of another. -"You overcame nothing - it's just the manic state you're mislabeling as ""overcoming it"". Wish you all the best :)" -Congratulations on your soul mate. What's his name and what Asian country is he from? -"Too much gold, gotta tone her down. - -Especially with the pinky ring. - -Your face/haircut/trimmed beard lets us know you’re not bad, and you’re not nationwide. - -Just making yourself a mark to those who are." -"Congrats private, now you can keep your hand off your privates 🫡" -You look like discount Ben Affleck having an allergic reaction to the load he just swallowed -Ur amazing! You never let being a hairy Sasquatch who wears cheesy gold rings get you down. You made it jersey shore! -"I cant. I cant roast you. With that story, if i roasted you, i'd probably ruin your life.   - - -Anyways, 138.107.181.54   - - - - - (This is not a real IP address!)" -Endured thru such trials and still found a soulmate. Gentlemen. “This is the Way” -Sweetie if you are going to ask to be roasted dont put on a generic sob story that will hold us back. -He feels like a million bucks. Which has nothing do with that pallet he brought home from Iraq and keeps under a tarp in his garage. But don’t look under the tarp. -You look like you work at the Port of Subs -Ten years in the military? 100% he's going to be using his qualified immunity after a video of a death of an unarmed man surfaces. -The Merchant Marines must **really** be lowering their standards. -"Spend some of that money on a decent haircut,shave and clothes" -stop pretending to be sal vulcano we can see thru that shit easily -"Hey bro, I didn’t ask for your lip" -Getting kicked out of military is not called finishing -Lemme guess from the pinky ring- Jersey? -I thought they made you do pushups in the military? -Did you marry a bag of hula hoops or your drill Sargent -"Ten years in the military....the brig, you mean." -How many holes have you punched in the wall before you went to one session with a “Christian counselor” and “overcame your trauma”? -Didn't know eating all the C-Rations in the base was possible but here we are. -I'm so proud that you were able to come out in the military. Best of luck to you and your husband -Nice fake gold rings -"First off, congratulations. Second, what did you do in the military? All it looks like you did was eat" -"When I was in basic, the drill sergeant handed me my tray of pre-packaged food and said “I’m so glad, you get to eat… FAT BOY”. - -They dropped the “I’m so glad you get to eat” part with you and that’s the trauma you just got over, fat boy." -You look like the love child of the baby reindeer freaks -What a contradicting statement -No. You don't deserve it king -"Graduated trauma school, now ready to inflict outward traumas." -Bro looks like a dude that wears socks to bed -"Glad to see your life is coming together. - -To make this a roast, I'll say that you are ugly." -"Roast you? 10 years in the army, huh? Let me guess, you now have a fetish for napalm....and need the occasional roast. Medium rare, or well done?" -Did you used to be a Persian uber driver that the military conducted experiments on to turn you into a honky mc honkington? -No Toni Braxton never sang « Eat the freeway » and you didn’t have to do so. -The I hit every “free meal” on Veterans Day and “ be kind veteran lives here sign in yard” on the 4th… tacticool submarine door gunner that always wears the “ Dfac” combat hat everywhere… and ask if baskin Robbin’s has a military discount…. Thank you for my service 🇺🇸 -Thanks for absolutely nothing -I bet your trauma stems from running out of rations -Did you have an anti face lift procedure on your eyes? -His soulmate is a line up of dudes at the local glory hole. -John Roblox’s clone -"Your toupee is on crooked private ""made man""." -"soul mate? -What's his name? -Did he give you that dumbass haircut?" -Walmart Warror Poet -"Those VA benefits will make sure you feel like $2k a month if you're lucky. - -Thanks for your military service. Now please pull up to the next window. - -This is a McDonald's.... not group therapy, sir. - -Remember butt sex is wild, and don't cause no child." -" -* -Nah Boi give yo sister robux" -A body pillow of an anime character is not a soul mate. -NO ROASTIN GOOD FOR YOU -"I won't do it. All the best to you both soldier. As you know, life can change in an instant and never be the same." -What's his name? -He’s a lucky guy -A million bucks sure doesn't go as far as it used to.... -"It’s spelled “sole”, but all power to you if you’ve finally found your one true pair of socks." -Minecraft character with a square head doesn’t realize that looking in the mirror and being content with such squareness is the definition of hell for 99% of the rest of the human population. -That’s a lot of words just to say you’re gay. -You may have overcome your trauma but looking at your photos dumped it on me -".....there is no way to convince me that you are not in your half-bathroom taking a pic of that goofy smile while sitting on the porcelain throne....of all the places, lol" -You look like you intentionally forget safe words -Preheating the oven to 425F -Thank you for your service -Did your parents have any children that lived? -When you order a “Will Riker” from wish.com -A grown man using the word “soulmate” needs no additional roasting. He’s already cooked. -Lemme guess: catering corps? -"You’re going to regret not doing the easier half of military service, but I bet you’re already looking forward to all of the restaurants that give discounts on Veterans Day, as you wear all of the swag saying you served." -Does a Dog count as a soul mate? -How’s the bodega business going? -"I've been in for 5 years, Sergeant. how many times do I have to remind you? The stripper at the local stripper club does not count as a soul mate." -Gi turtle from entourage -How long are you and your soulmate going to wait to have your first ~~kid~~ *PTSD-induced domestic violence incident*? -She was hoping to get a free flag but instead got 10 years of disappointment -You look like you eating nachos with ketchup instead of cheese -"10 years in the military, rose to the rank of private." -You look like Ric flair fell into a bucket of hair remnants from a barber shop -You’re dressed like wagyu beef. -She’ll cheat on you. Trust me. And your trauma is just beginning. Thank you for your service. -I’m sure you’ll feel worse during your arrest for murdering your soulmate during a PTSD-induced night terror episode. -I have a receding hairline and if I could pick I’d still choose mine over yours. -"Yeah and after the military you started painting houses for Jimmy Hoffa, and the mob. Take off those mafia looking rings." -I don’t think I can since most of your partners already got roasted -Is your soulmate liberace? -You look like white Kendrick Lamar is gonna tear you up in a diss track. -Why? What's wrong with people? You want folks to talk shit about you?? -What military prison were you in? -"‘Splain your pinky, broken during self prostrate massage?" -You’ve got those hot military blow job lips -That caption is the perfect recipe for a future wife beater. -You look like you drive a 2015 M3 with a salvage title -"You look like Turtle from Entourage on steroids. - -Was your personal trauma getting gang banged by your troupe every night? Looks like you’re still eating the pain away." -"That’s great- I always say, a hole in the ground is worth two with a bush" -The only thing he gained is weight from all those ham sandwiches -how did you find a soulmate? you don't deserve one. not even CLOSE to deserving one. -10 years in Guantanamo Bay -Sup Sal when you guys releasing your next prank video? -Uncle Jesse from Halfway House. -Why do you kind of look like Price if he was Hella depressed -You look like someone in witness protection. -Trauma= butthole resewn -"Does ""Chad"" have an Italian equivalent?? That pinky ring and greasy-ass hair leaves me with questions ..." -You were half way done with a guaranteed pension. With over 30% disability you'd have been double dipping. This is the sign of poor planning. -Being here is giving trauma vibes. -Definitely look like one of those guys that says wild shit at the end of a briefing and couldn't survive another 10 years so you partial out. -If this ain’t the most fruity sub guy I’ve ever seen -You look like Vince Russo (bro) -If Chris Benoit turned to Jesus and forgave his abuser. -Is this a million after taxes? -Suck rings bro. -"Roast you about what, exactly? Sounds like you’re doing better than most of us. Do you mean attractive ness? I’m a guy, but I can’t see how chicks wouldn’t be falling all over you…" -You got Tony Soprano arms -"By soulmate and being a veteran, you live in the legal state with a dispensary." -You look like a mafia henchman who has to assassinate someone at a Phish show. -He's not even fat😂 for a roast to be good it just has to be true. You lot are ass at roasting... just like me. -Tony stark and Elvis called.They are filing a DCMA takedown on this thread -You look like that Uncle who would buy every teenage girl alcohol but would make her and her friends sit there for an uncomfortable amount of time. Before you gave it to them so they could leave. -Your new trauma is navigating the va system now. -Typical 80’s pornstar with a toupee -"Found your soulmate, nice.. How'd you dudes meet?" -Need to find a shaver as a soulmate. -Trying to give American Idol another shot. -Mr. Square head your hole mate he is just the beginning of your new trauma! -"Looking like a douchey Samwise Gamgee with that excessive jewelry my dude. - -Your face looks like how stupid people think. - -Your soulmate 💯 going to cheat on you within 18 months." -"You look like the cheap rebrand of the ""15 minutes of useless information"" guy." -"I'm going to do the opposite, thanks for you're service and excellent recovery !" -"Nah bro rock on, good for you" -"I know Sal when I see him, no amount of facial hair will hide those jowls." -"Nope, can't do it" -You look like a combo of Josh peck and the midget from game of thrones -I envy you sir. I still carry my demons from my time in AFSOC with me. 26 years later and I do what I can day by day. HUA 🫡 -Plz take your helmet off for picture day -You look like a henchmen from a day time tv Miami crime drama. -"I can’t tell if your trying to grow a broom on your upper lip or not. How Greek exactly are you? Are those fraternity rings? Or just cheep bling? Either way, cringe. And what is that room? Is it just an empty space with maybe some generic carpet? Too broke to decorate a little? Everything screams poverty or lack of taste. I bet you sleep on a bed roll. Your eyes are so far apart that someone had to have given you the nickname of -“goldfish”." -Just gotta say one thing. Thank you for your service to this nation. 🇺🇸 -Was your soulmate on the top or bottom bunk in the barracks? -"No way , glad to hear the good news , I hope it just keeps getting better,get roasted !!" -What kind of trauma does a typist stationed in Georgia get? -Could only afford half bass knuckles? -How do you get trauma from the Air Force? There’s no way you did 10 years in another branch looking like this. -Did the military pay for your transition? -If Rudy and Radio had a lovechild with Lego hair. -You look like the type of person to have 10 subscribers on YouTube and call it a job -At least you shaved around your eyes so you can see. -I can’t roast you because apparently according to Reddit I’m to harsh with the roast and got banned for 3 days -Found your soulmate? What’s his name? -Which branch of the military if we can know? -Did you get those rings out of a quarter machine? Over there trying to look like Marlon Brando after makeup. -Letting your asian wife peg you isn't overcoming your trauma -How the fuck did the enemy miss that football pitch between your eyes?? -pinky rings are gay af -You just became MY trauma -Damn! Bam Margera really has gone downhill!! -comment -you’re every waitress i’ve ever had at outback steakhouse -"You're a paradox. You've got both ""poke holes in your condoms"" and ""poison the kids so I can have him all to myself"" vibes." -You look like one of those murder nurses they don't catch until your 20th victim gets you busted -Round 1 of guess which “look at me” subs this insecure person posts on. **looks at profile** . The usual suspects. Nothing special here. -You spent 100 hours maintaining those eyebrows and yet all your clothes are from the reject pile at the local Goodwill -You look like the suspect mom for an Amber Alert. -"She lives, she laughs, she loves." -You dress like a 43 year old lesbian realtor -"If you die early, I guarantee your husband brings a date to your funeral." -Mitch hedberg called. He wants his hair back -The veins in your tits are straighter than your eyebrows -That wallpaper matches your fashion sense -"We can tell you tried really hard to look this average, and that’s what counts, really." -You definitely work at either dollar general or Walmart -When I type in your name why does it come up with ' 318 people have eaten here and 1 star reviews. -You’re the substitute teacher that ends up on the news… -"You look like a last minute replacement for family dinners during the holidays. - -I'm sure whoever your family got in place of you will be a significant upgrade." -Remind me. What bladder protection product advert were you in? -"Plain Jane without a brain, dances for old men to make it rain." -You look like a clingy person that cheats on their significant other for showing too much affection. -You must love it when people sit on your face if you go through the trouble of shaping your eyebrows into handlebars. -"You look like your hands smell like cheese - -You look like you can't name your neighboring states - -You look like you got cheated on by the same person more than once" -You look like Anne Hathaway’s chunkier sister cousin. -"If your pussy is as clean as that mirror, it's a hard pass." -If only you were as plucky as your eyebrows -You look like one of those teachers on the news that get’s caught for fucking a student -Psycho ex girlfriend vibes -"She’s the girl next door - -The ugly one, but she lives next door." -You’re 37 desperately trying to look 10 years younger than your younger sister. -I bet that pussy smells like a warm turtle tank -"""I have a boyfriend"" energy" -I know a succubus when I see one. You ain't fooling us or stealing our souls. -You look like you blow 3 different drug dealers to get a dimebag of pot... when you can just as easily go to the shop on the otherside of town. -You look like Marisa Tomei if Marisa Tomei was a scarecrow. -You look like you could be a porn star. Not a good one though -"Just another chick looking to be validated and then a pity fuck. - -You're probably 5 seconds away from starting an OnlyFans acct." -I bet you’re the girl who does handstands on the beach when there are lots of people around! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!! -Your blouse is as faded as that dirty wallpaper. -Finally somebody gives a face to bacterial vaginosis. -"Your brows remind me of an 80s band a flock of seagulls, -You have a face made for radio" -"You've probably said ""How spicy would you like your Chang Sauce?"" so many times, the words have lost all meaning" -Mary Elizabeth Losestead -"""I'm not like other step sisters.""" -"You mean fuck and go, like your dates." -Meh -Let’s fucking nooooooo -You’re going to beat your kids with a wire hanger and then switch to a belt after they’re born. -Dad? -"Youre the human definition of the word average, if you were a meal you would be bread and water." -"Your left eyebrow is off center by a couple of inches, unfortunately I'm unsure you'll be able to fix it." -I'd get that mole on your chest checked out if I were you. -"40, single and childless...that sums you up." -I didn't know Anne Hathaway was actually a man! -"> Let's fucking go - -nah... $5 is overpaying." -Would cancel my subscription to her OnlyFans on the last day of a Free Trial. -"What's up with that eyebrow? One half looks healthy, the other half looks like the jealous cousin. Looks like one of few ideas Tim Burton decided to pass on . Did you agree to be your half-sisters' first semester cosmetology project?" -"I feel like you got multiple personalities, calm down mystique" -You look great! The transition is rly coming along. Still getting your balls waxed? -Poster child for Wellbutrin. -"I feel like your face is too big for your body size - -Weird asf ngl - -Uncanny" -You look like your coochie smells horrendous.  -Where ya wanna go? You look like ya been around so I’m pretty sure it won’t be somewhere new. But hey I’m down you’re pretty cute either way! -I went through your profile and your only fans content is boring! -Why did you not post your OF-link? -The one pic looks like one eye is fishing and the other one is looking for worms. -"Let's fucking go... - -...is what the 2 frat guys said as they high five after you've agreed to do them both." -"When you look up the definition of ""mid"", it's just your picture on the page" -"Some dude spent a night flirting with you, buying you drinks and succeeding in taking you home only to get the worst sexual experience of his life." -She looks like her p smells like a penny -Let’s fuck -Whoa easily a top 3 in any room -I’d smash -"Y’all are being so mean to her! I’m sure she’s a wonderful person with a big heart!! - -Boom. Roasted bitch." -"Can’t roast my wife, sorry" -I love you -I think you’re hot and would like to do things with you -"You're hot enough, you don't need to be roasted 😅 (respectfully of course)" -100% would -when your hot as hell so all the insults gotta be personality speculations😂 -"Can't think of anything, you're gorgeous" -Hot but approachable -"Damn, it's hard roasting beautiful people." -"You look like the type of girl that has to disclose by law, all 32 of your STDs before getting laid." -This roast is as difficult as you covering up your tits. Nice eyes. -You look like you bitch at everything and it causes men to leave after a few dates -"If by ""Let's fucking go"" means you are far away from me, then by all means fucking go." -Does only fans have a disappointment fetish section? -That hideous bathroom decor isn’t helping anyone -Your face is the perfect instrument for blowjobs for the rest of my life -She mosdef enjoys dark meat. -What kind of horror film/1950’s bathroom did you take that last picture in? That aqua color tile has seen less dumps than your chest. -"You look like, when you go out to eat you abuse the waiters" -"I can’t roast you. I feel so bad that your dad left when you were 8, your mom overdosed and you have been living with your grandparents since you were 16. - -I can see your pain in your eyebrows" -Using filtered photos for your Roast Me post is Nasty Work 😂 -The only time she orgasms is when masturbates looking into a full body mirror -"All 3 of these pics look like a ""blacked"" photoshoot 😂" -You look like you read books -"They tried their best but the fact is, you are pretty and look loveable" -You look nice there. Nuff said. -"You look like the new sidekick for Wednesday Addams. -Thursday. Thursday Afternoon." -Oh look. Another attractive female that gets 10 times more comments compared to others from pathetic incels in the hope she'll respond to them directly. -You look like your pussy farts -"It's the lady who always tries to be the ""cool mom"" and will compete with her daughters for their boyfriends." -You’re sexy af…..thats the roast -"u look nice - -and that's a compliment, not a roast" -You are very pretty. Sorry can’t roast you -You look like an off-brand Maggie from The Walking Dead -"Yes , fucking Please!" -Digestive Issues & Equate Tissues -You’re actually pretty -Get a life -"To unemployment, the local dispensary, to planned parenthood, to see your PO, to court, to the supervised visit with your kid, to your psychiatrist that's REALLY hands on but you don't mind, then most definitely back to your mom's house." -Aim for my tits -Honestly you’re vary pretty -Ever think about doing something with the thin hair in the corners of your (tiny) forehead? -I was too busy figuring out what constellations I could make out of your titty veins to come up with a clever roast -"""Let's fucking go"" is how she forces the guys into her basement." -Even in your OF you prob try too hard. Get a 9-5 -It's said the hotter they are the crazier they are. So she's probably pretty normal -Couldn’t make it in onlyfans so you’re here -You have strong Step dad fucker energy -"You put your cigarettes out on his disabled brother, don't you?" -Side piece energy -Your Nanna called- she wants her elastic pants back -Leaves the kids in the car while she scores her blow -If 'I'm very insecure and I need validation from random strangers on internet' had a face. -I've seen you somewhere before and it's now going to bother me. -Why do people so generically conventionally good looking come on r/RoastMe? -No response back from the poster? -Countdown to OnlyFans in 5….4….3…. -You look like a middle aged police detective in Law and Order. -"She looks like McLovin had a baby with Kelly McDonald. - -I call her Kelly McLovin." -You look like you’ll be asking to speak to the manager and then letting him spit in your mouth behind the dumpster of the restaurant -"Nice tits, bro" -You look like a home wrecker. -You black mail your coworkers in to doing your work after sucking them off. -I think I've seen you like 80 different times before. Mostly in Starbucks -You could easily be someone's aunt. -I once found a dead body behind a T.G. I. Friday’s. It was more attractive. -The electrolysis to remove her mustache went well -If you start a of people will pay you to close it before you even post anything -"Basic bitch 2.0, now with bigger tits and a worse attitude. Yoga pants and kayak sold separately. Also, you look like you have “Live, Laugh Love” as a tramp stamp tattoo." -50 Shades of Sasha Grey. -Entire personality in that phone case. -Congrats on being the only person to have a negative multiple digit balance on onlyfans. -Way too hot to roast -Where’s the bedroom -Look like you’ve had more cream pies than Boston. -You’d start a fight over the middle aged waitress at Applebees calling me “hun” and leave her a sassy note instead of a tip. -Lord Farquhar daughter lookin ahh -Onlyfans starter kit. -Just start posting pics in the porn section of Reddit already! -You look like you get stuck randomly throughout the house hoping your stepbro finds you -Four fingers three knuckles -Casting couch reject -i can’t unsee the steakhouse waitress -"I mean, why? Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only 10 I see…" -"You’re the #1 at Chick-fil-A, plain sandwich, no sauce, no seasoning." -Contemplating Onlyfans. -No doubt banging one of her 5th grade students. -Starter kit for onlyfans -"You look like you were told that you were pretty your whole life, and you believed it." -You look like you stab men in their sleep because you had a dream they cheated. -Every guy that’s been into you just wanted you for your tits -"2+2 not knowing what it is ass -Big chest no nipples" -"Getting serious ""of course you can pee on me"" vibes" -"Prozac bandit. Spends more time seeking validation from others but has this self inflated importance schtick going too possibly sociopathic behaviors. - -Loves Starbucks, hearing great things only about herself, and controlling other people for her own gain. Anxious only when put on blast, uses it as a deflection tactic. - -Ego centered, self important, sociopathic sad girl." -If Pam from “The Office” came from the dollar store. -It's impressive that even in photos it's obvious that you are somehow extremely vain and insecure at the same time. -"You have the kind of face that says: ""I don't get gonorrhea, I give gonorrhea"". Giggidy." -Why is my porn hub feed on here now -It's the blowjob bun for me. -I can fap to this -Typical 25 year old teacher who fucks her 6th grade student. -"Awww, Dad never gave you attention, so now you get it in whatever form you can on reddit. How long until you're on the gone wild subs?" -You gotta big nose and we all know your sucking in that gut in the last pic #letitgosis -youve got the body of a middleschooler and the face of a middle-aged mother. old in all the wrong places and young in all the wrong places. -Literally all these roasts are bad 💀💀💀 she won. -Every college junior in town trying to find a new father figure wants their smirk back 👀😂 -"Your face is AI generated and you're using reddit to test whether people will fall for it. - -This is not a roast. That is a fake face." -I bet you have tried making a make-up and unsolved mystery youtube channel but the only sub you got was from your mom -You'd be hot if you looked different. -Say I got the job by blowing my boss without saying I got the job by blowing my boss -You look like a bunny boiler -"You look like a woman who regularly refers to your own tits as ""cum-catchers.""" -You look about as interesting as someone who thinks drinking coffee is a personality would -comment -"I'd like to ask who ever is doing this, to stop reanimating corpses" -Didn't heroin chic go out of style a few years back? -I'm not saying you're doing drugs but you'd make a great face for teaching kids why to not do drugs -"When you travel, do they charge extra for the bags under your eyes?" -You look like an old Victorian ghost with a balding spot -How many years have you been 21? -"I won’t roast you - -Your sleep schedule is already fucking you over" -You look like a European pick pocket with hyperthyroidism. -Shouldn’t you be standing in the middle of a corn field? -You look like you just came back from the trenches of WW1. -You should just wander around cemeteries late at night and see how long it takes for the Discovery Channel to show up. -"“Don’t show the teeth, don’t show the teeth, don’t show the teeth…”" -First pic you’re higher than a kite. Second pic you’re all of a sudden 40 years old. Sixth pick you are now a 1700s wife who was traded for the largest pig in all the land. What a ride -"If I saw you on Tinder, I'd break my phone." -You should be an actress. You'd be perfect for roles like Dead Hooker #4 or a background actress in a rehab movie. -A roast is not what you need right now... you obviously have a debilitating eating disorder. Get some help. -You look like a skeleton with skin tightly wrapped around its bones. Like a skin suit who doesn’t sleep. -Something no one has ever said to you -Day walkers are real. -"Hello, Methany!" -Were you the dead lady in drag me to hell? -"Too bad your bulimia doesn't let you vomit away your manly shoulders, brother." -21 what? 21 centuries? -If cigarettes were human -Real housewives of Chernobyl. -She looks like she has a half a tic tac a sip of water then does 3 hours of cardio. -Fiona Scrapple -I'm going to show your photo to my kids next time they refuse to eat their vegetables. -It's okay to leave your earthly bonds now. Go towards the light. Loved ones await you... -You have never felt the warmth of the sun. -You are one of the ugliest good looking person Ive ever seen. -Hottest zombie I’ve ever seen -"Do you have any ""before"" pictures?" -"You look like you’d entrap a mentally disabled man into raising a kid that may or may not be his because you manipulated his affection for you and ducked him once when you were homeless and then ghosted him to return to your lifestyle, then end up marrying him because it turns out he invested wisely and became a millionaire, and you die of an unspecified disease." -"I got three words for you - -Cheap crack whore" -It's interesting to see the progression of an eating disorder through your photos. -"Jesus, get some sleep. - -You look like Louis Rossmann had failed transition surgery." -"You look like the other boys on the high school track team were so mean that you abandoned your personality, and gender, just to escape their harsh words." -"I had heard that Jared Leto was an eccentric. But taking up a meth habit, wearing a variety of shit clothes and announcing to the world that you’re non binary on r/RoastMe is just next level." -Steve Buscemi's long lost daughter here -"I didn't know we were submitting corpses for roasting, but here we are" -You like Lurch from the Addams Family. -You look like you let men practice domestic violence on you. -Recovering drug addicted prostitute! -OMG! Wendy! You were awesome in Breaking Bad! -You look like an early 1800s Arkansas homesteader -Don't they bury dead people in your family? -You look like your at your own wake -"Are you Amish or do you know the street value of blowjobs per amount of drugs? - -I’m kinda struggling here." -Stop dating Chris Brown. -How long have you been dead? -In all seriousness you're probably anemic. I would get your blood checked. -"she looks like the type thats had ""some fun"" with her entire county." -Your fun is all used up. Back to the coffin for you. -"This bitch got ""resting cancer face""" -Oh damn brb gotta make some popcorn for this one .. -I don't think it's a good idea to roast bare bones -This is what a person looks like after six months in the adult film industry. Stay in school kids. -Saved By The Bell called; they want their caffeine pill Jessie Spano back. -One of the few extras for Walking Dead that didn't need any makeup!!! -I got a boner -"You look malnourished, and I mean this genuinely. Get some help." -anorexia is really not giving you the looks your mind was hoping to get -This is what you look like when you’re fucking whatever’s on the table at the morgue -"If you need help getting off the Crack, there's some great charities and sponsors that help these days" -"I’m afraid to tell you this, but you need to lie down. Why? Because you are dead." -Mail order bride from Temu -Man even these old Victorian ghosts are having an identity crisis -I could have more fun with an empty crisp packet -"I didn't know ""left AMA from the oncology ward"" was an aesthetic." -It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again! -You look like you beat obesity with anorexia. -"Probably lost in the ether but... - -Most people post content, you post mortem" -"You look alot like my cousin, Methany." -"""I see dead people""" -"Your burial dress looks, um... nice. Back into the coffin you go." -“And this brings me to my next point kids. Don’t do crack” -"What are you, like a trans, meth addict or something?" -Aww hell no. That’s meth’d up! -1992 Robert Downey Jr wants the bags under his eyes back. -Damn! And here I thought Pete Davidson had the worst case of butthole eyes that I'd ever seen... -"I never knew an emo could multitask. - -Look empty, drunk, miserable, lost and pretend their happy simultaneously." -On today's adventure: Methany overdoes the eyeliner again -Are you Polish? Cus you certainly smiles in polish. -"I didn't think ""washed up low rider magazine model"" was a thing but here we are, they do get trashier after all." -The only 21 year old getting senior discounts -Fun? You look about as much fun as a tax audit -"With all the pimples on your forehead, blind people can also feel how ugly you are." -You escaped from the morgue! -The sub needs to be renamed to masochistic mid girls -Awwww you have your dad's bald pattern you guys look such alike. -"It's Anorexia Ner-VOH-sa, not Anorexia Nervo-SAH" -What's your idea of fun? Stealing copper to feed your merh addiction? Having Hepatitis? -I’m going to assume that your teeth are so crooked and ugly that they’re in different countries. -Isn’t this the 5th time you’ve done something this? You must have a humiliation kink -"Let's have some lunch girl, damn" -"You look like you had fun and meth, lots of meth" -Got them boulder shoulders -Fiona crApple -"Hey folks, we found Jared Leto on Reddit." -Fiona Crabapple -Degenerate < Degenerating -I know a genestealer from 40k when I see one madam. I say good day to you. -"Stick with NOT smiling, you look even worse when you smile…" -21 years since what? Since you turned 20? -How long have you been on meth? -World War 3 will be fought in the trenches of your chin -"You look like you’ve seen and gone through the witch trials, the holocaust, and ww2." -Damn girl looks like even heroin has dumped u . -I bet I know why none of the pics show teeth -Dude you got a vitamin deficiency of some kind. Seriously take a multivitamin -Could we not have some fun and you can just pretend we did. -Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs of crack -You look like a prostitute for guys who are into necrophilia. -They have these things called doughnuts. Maybe you should consider eating some. -Methadone olive oil is here folks -Really amazing RCP. Resting Corpse Face. -Honest question: Do you wish Tales From the Crypt had gotten more seasons or were you running out of stories to tell? -You'd be a supermodel in a concentration camp. -are you ok? -You look like Gabe Lewis in drag. -F21 DAYS LATER -I thought Halloween was still a few weeks away? -We have Tim Burton character at home -Whatever you are doing to your eyes needs to stop. You don't need to worry about men or bears -So Fiona Apple isn’t dead? -You have got to stop putting pharmaceuticals in your body and on your face. You’re 21 years old? In human years? Dude you are the oldest fucking person on this website. -I like that you are bringing back the heroine chic look. -Did you die from the bubonic plague? -Why you displaying bulk like you have money -How long have you been dead? -The circles under your eyes are so dark when I squint it looks like you're wearing aviators. -Don't do meth kids -21? You look like you 41 and been smoking every day for the last 50 years… I’d hit -Tell me you’re in Heroin Detox without telling me you’re in Heroin Detox -Something feels very uncanny valley here -Looks like you've been riding the H train a looooong ways. -You look like the poster child for fentanyl abuse. -"Just called my mom to pick me up, I hope you’re happy." -"You look like you came in 8th in a ""Fiona Gallagher at her worst"" lookalike contest." -"I bet you were hot in 1692, when all the village men filled you full of glue. -But sadly for you, and I know this might hurt, you belong back in the dirt." -Have you always looks anorexic or have you maintained that form through hard work and dedication? -Your eyes have more baggage than an Airbus 380 -The walking dead -"She needs to he roasted so she can rest, guys." -The model for anti smoking: -You ugly as fuck. -21...minutes away from turning 35? -the junkie girl in breaking bad -Wendy -You look like what a demontor looks like without its robes. -Meth barbie strikes again. -If you stopped sucking dick for meth you might be passably attractive. -You look like you escaped Auschwitz’s -Joaquin Phoenix playing his sister -Meth does her when it wants to get high. -You look like the after picture of doing drugs -I‘m not sure weather ypu look like a zombie from the walking dead or just a junkie -Her picture is under Sleep Deprivation in the dictionary. -"You look like you give extremely unenthusiastic hand jobs. With no lube of any kind, just dry tugging with that uncomfortable eye contact..." -Tony stark may not have enough iron to fiv the iron deficiency here -How long have you been clean from meth use? -Holy mother of God... -"So i see what some people are saying... Congrats on losing 77lbs that's awesome! I would suggest moving forward to try and put 15 back in muscle. Especially leg and core. Idk what number on the scale you see but a standard number is not always applicable. You have great bone structure with long limbs i would assume around 5'8. It might be a higher number than you may have in your head for ""healthy"" but it is likely a little above it. I've been in sports my whole life and your structure reminds me of a discus player (like Valerie Allman) obviously she is in crazy physique but just seeing her structure, she will be a different healthy weight than Simone Biles" -get some sleep -"Kristin Stewart stars in the “Black Swan” sequel, “Pale White Swan Of Mid”" -"One word, wowwwwww your so beautiful " -Great Value Fiona Gallagher -I think that people being reptiles theory is true . -Heroin chic makes a blazing comeback! Abercrombie and Fitch on line one! -"Get some rest, we'll try again tomorrow." -"She looks so tired and sad. I feel horrible that ppl are like this, js making fun of her. Ik she asked for it, but I genuinely feel gross of how humans can be to other ppl." -Fiona Apple's third understudy. -"No roast, you’re beautiful and sending you a massive warm hug" -"Sleeping beauty...if she wasn't beautiful, was addicted to heroin, and was the most basic person alive." -You look like Fiona Apple if one of her parents was an orc. -"They say hips don't lie, but yours ain't even talking." -Damn you are super Lithuanian aren't you? Look at those dark eye circles. -"You look like one of those before and after drugs memes, except it’s all after." -You look like you've been a middle aged lesbian since birth. -"What is this, some remake of The Grudge?" -Dead inside and out! -You look like opposite of fun. -"You look like Gollum… - -After he fell into the volcano" -"You look like you’re in the mourning process of your husband of 45 years, but since your marriage was arranged you mourn by pretending to be a teen again." -"Kinda hard to have fun with the living dead, ghoul baby!" -I've never seen someone post two before pictures when putting up a post about fentanyl addiction -"Damn, I thought you got a new body when reincarnated." -1800s “night lady” -Are you even alive??? -Double Agent Code Name: Renaissance Fair -Is this a Windy Wendy from Breaking Bad prequel story? -Laura Ingalls Wildgak -I hear Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is a good movie. -"Looks like a horrible combination of anorexia and meth , all because her daddy never loved her ." -Roasting aside. Go easy on meth. -"Are you on crack, because it can help you!" -The band Everclear wrote a song about you called Heroin Girl. -"I've never seen someone before, who looks better without makeup. Maybelline should charge you for negligence." -Let's meet the cast of real housewives of Victorian era ghosts that possessed modern bodies -You should model for Victorian era corpse photos. -"I hope not. - -Edit: I thought this was another r/Doppleganger post asking if anyone looks like me" -"I don't want to know what brand of ""fun"" you champion...." -Just because you look half that doesn’t mean Darrell Dixon is going to be interested in you -What’s there to roast ? You literally look like you came out of an oven toaster ? -You look absolutely methmerizing. -If walking dead were a person -Is “Let’s have some fun” what your regulars say when they come pick you up from the street corner ? -I’m surprised you still have a couple good veins in those skinny crackhead feet of yours -You look like the real life Wendy from breaking bad -I've seen soldiers with shell shock with happier eyes -Never saw a cryptid before -Your face looks it was hit by a bag of nickels! -You look like you've been dead before and my Rufus used you like there's no tomorrow. -Honey please do not use red lipstick again. It looks atrocious. -Grandma started mewing -Ema Watson on meth -My OLED doesn't even show that much dark eyes. -"You're about as interesting as an old tree. Smile, laugh, do some jumping jacks or whatever cause you boring af. And don't get me started on that damn underbite" -I'd be afraid of finding you in a dark corner while walking alone at night -You look like the “before” photo for a nap business -Honestly you’re very pretty. You should start sleeping more to give your eyes a rest and to stop others from getting arrested by them. -You look like the love child of a orc and a Walker. -Dio de los muertos is not until November 1st. How did you escape the under world? -"I don’t do drugs, sorry." -Were you in Tales of the Crypt? -Could definitely star in a Nun 3 prequel. -You look like windy from breaking bad -U need some rest -Imagine your face is always like you just received bad news. -Which eye should I be looking at? -You are the rarest of exceptional beauty who looks uglier with makeup -How stunningly brave of you to venture outside and online without make up or filters. -comment -You have resting NPR face. -I'm almost certain the personality matches the appearance.. -You look like you wait for porn movies to come out as audio books before you indulge. -Enjoy the last few weeks of summer before you’re back to your job teaching gym at a private girls school. -Why the self-loathing? It’s not a crime to scissor in the backseat of a Subaru Outback. -So gender fluid you’re practically a puddle -When’s your gender reveal party? -You look like you'd complain on Twitter if I made any joke. -Not saying anything. You look like you’re already offended by enough things. -You look like you can cancel everything. -You look like you’d get offended & respond to EVERY SINGLE negative comment after asking to be ROASTED. 🤦‍♂️ -You look like you throw paint at museum pieces -“I want to feel justified” is so something you’d say. -You look like you talk like Sheldon Cooper -"Do your vegan, queer-friendly, tarot card reading roommates know that you shave your moustache?" -If a sanctimonious and poorly written gender studies essay was a person. -Harry Potter quickly regretted messing with the trans spells -If a degree in gender studies was a person -"You got that malnourished Oliver Twist look down to a tee, young man 👍" -"You definitely complain about not having a job after going $125,000 in debt for a queer studies degree" -"Sits for the barber and asks ""front back and pride""." -I'm guessing the train derailed on approach? -You remain ambiguous so you can rage at people who peg you as any gender. You hate the patriarchy and refer to your father as a sperm donor. You hate capitalism and authority but want to be successfully comfortable and in control. You march in protests but forget them as soon as they are no longer the issue du jour. -She wears underwear with the dick holes in 'em -I’m scared to roast you cause you’ll probably get me in legal trouble -If Adolf Hitler was nonbinary -"if you want to pass, do something for your mustache" -Your head and body proportions are that of a low shelf Funko Pop -You look like a feminist lesbian BLM member. -The type of person who wants people to misgender them... -Definitely wouldn’t make it in Gaza right now -"you look like you label everyone as racist, transphobes whenever someone doesn’t agree with you" -You’d be an attractive female if you quit trying so hard to be a dude -"I never really understood the whole they/them thing, but now I do." -Imagine carrying a child for 9 months (maybe less) and they come out to be like this -"What’s your secret, Rick Moranis?" -"Good luck on your transition, not sure what way you're going though" -If Adam Scott came out as trans. -My ten year old says you look like a real life FunkoPop… -If Ned flanders was a women. -Clicked on this because I know the comments are going to be good about this one 😂 -You identify as non-binary and get angry at the drop of a hat. -Offended by everything other than your own foul smell -Can’t tell which way your transitioning -"You look like the only sound that comes out of your mouth is, ""REEEEEEEE!!!""" -Gary Potter -You’re the kinda human to say that nine plus ten is 21 -"You will never be justified in loathing yourself, and the worst thing you've ever done is not seeking help, or, if you have tried, the worst thing was giving up." -You suck at being Bajoran. -"What's your name, boy?" -Yer a hipster Harry! -You look like the person that makes it other people’s problem when you get your feelings hurt -the typical non binary person in 2020: -That haircut is all the self loathing you need. -"“Emily, they/them, BLM, ACAB”" -Sorry for your bleeding nose after birth. You didn’t make a sound and the doctor didn’t know which end he should give a clap. -You look like you say sorry to your friend group for being white. -Man Adam Scott looks horrible -Idiot Page -You look exactly how Michael Jackson strived to look for all those years. You’re one lucky they/them -Ugh... You probably feel overly justified about your mere existence. -Dude looks like a lady. -"You decided to date women because you desperately needed to find *some* interesting or unique or quirky thing about yourself. So you invented your lesbian persona. - -Little did you know, that's not unique, and that haircut would've done the job on its own." -Only you can make Harry Potter look masculine. -You’ve got the mustache of a 9th grade Hispanic boy. -I don’t even know what I’m even roasting here. I’m scared to know what you’d do if I assumed your pronouns -I've taken more interesting shits. -You look like you get angry when people don't take your pronouns plant/pot seriously -let your mustache grow a tiny bit more or you might get mistaken for a girl in the wrong light -Every gender they identity as will be offended. -Stop with the transformation. Men don't want you as much as girls don't -When’s the surgery? -Nice haircut Alfalfa -Looks like Hitler after transitioning to a woman -"Why, Are you seeking self/emotional harm?" -Unfuckable to all genders -"You have the jawline of a Frankenstein’s monster. But not *the* monster. - -You’re not that important" -Are you female -He/she/they/them/the/those/croissant mf 💀 -you are what’s wrong with america -You look Like you have no idea what gender you wanna be -If gay was made into a bobble head -They are a young Matthew Broderick trans? -"You look like Harry Potters brother, the one they kept in the basement.!😁😁😁😁😁😁" -Being ugly isn't an excuse to try switching genders -Your transition isn't going well dude -"You should press charges against whoever gave you that haircut. Maybe you fell asleep in the chair, I don't know." -"Do you have to wax/shave your moustache, or does it fall off on its own trying to get away from your breath? Flossing your teeth will really help your chances of attracting all of those genders you’re interested in." -"I'd be willing to bet you don't like to wear deodorant, ever" -I'm pretty sure I've seen you in every public library I've ever walked into. -"I hope you do not actually suffer from self loathing. Life is complicated and we don’t all fit it the same mold. - -I assume this is just a lark, but some of your previous posts make me worried you may be struggling. - -Hang in there. The other posts are probably funny, and I appreciate funny things, but laugh at the comments and have a good day." -Pathetic -Damn Corey Feldman has gone downhill -You look like the human version of the squirrel getting stuck between which side of the street to run to but you're between both genders. -"You're in that weird in between phase, when no one can really tell which way you're transitioning." -"You're a wizard, Harry!!!" -Identifies as That/Thing -Sponge Becka square jaw looking ass -I'll keep it simple you look like a dude -"On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, you identify as a male, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you identify as a female. -On weekends, you are confused." -Poster child for transgenderism -Are you a man or a woman? I literally can't tell -"Can't do it, you will say worse about yourself, to yourself, than I ever could." -~~Eugene Levy's long lost... offspring~~ Looking through OP's comments and she is just very depressed and I don't feel comfortable kicking someone when they're down. -"You seem to be wonderful. Is your ""self loathing"" a symptom of mental illness?" -Don't hate yourself. Leave that for others to do. Someone wishes they could be in your shoes right now... remember that. -What a boring life you must have -What are we transitioning from? And where are we transitioning to? -Non-binary bobblehead -Looking at OPs previous posts it seems they are not doing well mentally. Please OP if you’re depressed this is the WRONG sub. You should be doing the exact opposite of posting here. Look at other posts here this is all about creative roasts that will hurt the poster the most. I really hope you get the help you need and please take care of yourself -So.....penis? Or no -Fred Kahlo? -Gender queer kyle maclachlan lookin ahh -How is geppetto -I see Matthew Broderick transitioned into a lesbian. And not the hot kind... -"Your eyes say, ""I'm kind"" but your jaw says ""I'm batman!""" -"After years of searching, I have done it. I have found Waldo." -Pronoun info is necessary -You looked very cute and beautiful. -"So back in high school when you were the manager for the tennis team, did you ever talk to the girl you liked? And if so, how did it feel when she rejected you?" -So are you a boy or a girl I cant tell -Your parents voted for Trump so this is how you get back at them -I bet you love Taylor swift music -"I think you’re having a tough time mentally right now, and that sucks, please find a friend or a professional you can lean on, struggles suck." -"Absolutely not. Self-loathing is not something to mess around with. - -Look at your awesomeness and know you are here for a good reason." -I know what sub this is but you’re beautiful. I hope your mental state reflects that -I know your politics by these pictures -I bet you're a nice person who has been treated badly and I hope you can learn to heal and love yourself! -Definitely got your own pronouns nobody uses lol -If Drake Bell was the nerd instead of Josh -"I’d say you remind me of a funko pop but I think even they have more self confidence, personality, and sense of self" -"You look like the young call center manager that plays it off and pretends not to notice when black agents fail their metrics, but when any other race fails their metrics, you CC the dept manager with coaching notes you send them." -"You're just waiting for that one romantic moment where an attractive man bumps into you, knocks off your glasses, picks them up for you, and is shocked by how beautiful you are without them. Too bad he'll never be able to get past the fact that you look like a 12 year old boy when naked." -Can you confirm your pronouns? You look like the kind of person to drag someone into HR with an allegation of gender violence for getting it wrong. -I bet your grandmother thinks you’re very handsome. -"You start screeching when you’re losing an argument, don’t you?" -I seriously cannot tell your gender -The caption is peak though. Gold star. ⭐️ -"Dues Exes has the Most Interesting Man in the world. You are his nemisis, as the most boring." -I support your right to compete in women’s sports! -Your eyes look like they are running away from each other. -Your unibrow is quite prominent in the 2nd picture -Sup bro -Awww you don't need to be roasted. You're a fine looking two-spirited non-binary grey-gendered theythemximxer. -Are you trans... Just asking... -"I don’t roast guys, sorry" -You look like Karl Pilkington with hair -I'm glad the HRT is working? -I see the scar's cleared up nicely Harry -Nice mustache in the 2 middle pics -Roast what you already roasted yourself -"Got a thicker moustache than I do, and that’s saying something" -You look like a nice young man. -ok… mr ma’am -What’s your gender? I legitimately don’t know -Mustache -The best disguise so nobody knows your Superthem -"You are every non-binary ""woman"" you see at college campuses screaming for rights for men to be women." -Definitely a Reddit mod - Your pronouns are dil / do -what gender did you choose to be today? -"Guessing your gender is like flipping a coin. Oh look it's a male, oh wait it's a female. Good job" -"No thanks, I don't want to get cancelled" -Can't tell if you're a man or woman but would -If Janine Garoppolo had a boy... -"Which pronoun do you use? My guess is ""it.""" -Are you man or a woman? -You look like the type that hands out a manual on how to talk to you and which pronouns to use -You have that “someone please push me down a flight of stairs” look about you. -You're incompetant at setting up a ladder. -That mustache is coming in nicely. -You look like you complain a lot. But exclusively online. -404 Error: Gender not found. -I've never seen a better genderbend Steve Smith cosplay in my life. -I'm so confused... are those sideburns or?... -"You look like your Pronouns change on an hourly basis, but you still write angry posts on X and play the victim card if someone uses the wrong one for that hour." -You look like you flip a coin to decide your gender for the day -"When you took the test in school that suggested a profession to pursue, your results just said vegan and annoying." -You look like the kind of person that goes ballistic at restaurants for not having a Womyn’s restroom. And gets triggered by anything remotely phallic looking. -Shouldn’t you be teaching gender studies at your local community college -Marty McDyke: You have to go back to the 50s to make sure your moms scissor each other outside a beatnik poetry reading. -You're the son your father never wanted. -"If you’re looking for dykes, pics 1,2,4. If you’re looking for either or, pic 3." -The hair above your upper lip is troublesome -How long have you been vegan -You look like you flip through mein kampf as casual reading -"You're very handsome, hang in there dude." -"On a serious note, the fact half the insults are just the same sjw/leftist/queer stereotypes over and over is just sad, these people have no material of their own. - -Then again you look like every queer and leftist stereotype was stuck into a blender and you were the result so I can't blame em." -You have more hair on your eyebrows then you do on your head! -"Nothing to roast you about, dude. You’re actually quite handsome." -Sorry to disappoint you. I think you're very attractive and I hope you realize that attractiveness isn't all it's about. It's about peace in your mind and if you ever figure that out let me know -"Everyone will look like you just before we stop breeding and the human race gives up and dissolves totally, just like in the Mouse Utopia experiments." -Honestly can't tell but there's either a tiny dick or massive clit in those pants -"whatever art youre creating now fueled by an occasional toot on some maijuana smoke, and all the hormones youre creating with no effort will be the best art you create of your life. - -you will not have ability to recreate that energy in ten years." -"You're beautiful, How does that feel?" -Natural beauty -you’re so beautiful -You're cute. -You look like one half of the ambiguously gay duo -When was the last time your father spoke to you? -"I could never roast you, you’re beautiful. Be you!!" -Such beautiful skin! -You look like a nice person -Hugs you -Ah young Steve Buschemi before his lifelong acting career. What a… handsome… young fellow. -Your gorgeous though. Love your hair. -You’re cute and I like your glasses ♥️ -No self loathing you are beautiful -I hope you get rid of your depression eventually and get to live a full and happy life. I'm not making fun of someone that feels bad already. -"You’re gorgeous, great hair and I can’t find any roasting material here at all. If your personality is half as good as your looks then you are unroastable." -comment -Minecraft grass. -I've never seen a receding tennis ball -You look like you are trying to stop Batman by luring him into your low income housing. -Lord have mercy. You look like the offspring if Dennis Rodman fucked a keylime pie. -Ugliest tennis ball I've seen in a while. -How scary would this be if she came up out of the ground head first at a mini golf course. You wouldnt be laughing then -Your hair looks like you upgraded from Brillo pads to Scotch Brite -I'd never make fun of Dennis Rodman. He was a beast on the court. -"That’s good that you dyed your hair a bright color, now it will be easier for us to avoid you." -You look like a Riddler henchman -I always wondered how they made astroturf. -You look like you roll around with 10 inch strap on in your bag ready to dick women down and use it to beat up random men who cat call you. -“I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MINECRAFT DIRT BLOCK” -I'll be damned. I always wondered what the result of the Hulk fucking the Grinch would be. Thanks for posting! -Tennis Rodman - Ch ch ch chia -"RuPaul's gayer, less famous, more drug addicted cousin." -Francesca Ocean -Wesley Snipes is trying to evade taxes again -Penis Rodmam. -The Worm! -Teenage mutant Eastside Turtle. -You’re too old to be having an identity crisis -"Looks like Shrek jizzed in your hair, and clearly you look proud of that" -No amount of dying your hair is going to give you a personality . -Like a female Joker but you’re only LOUD at the movie theater… -You probably want to draw attention away from your face... -"All I can see is booger, and I ain't just talking about that hair." -zoro if he was useless -You're awesome Mr Rodman! -Anyone up for tennis? -If She- Hulk was on Public Assistance -"That doesn’t make you the hulk, it makes you a brocoli turning bad." -You look like She Hulk if she smoked Crack. -There is alot of face on your face . -Afroturf -"Oh, you dyed it green? Thanks for telling us, wouldn’t have guessed. Green is also the color of the reparations you won’t get." -Green hair and piercings? Please choose one disability. -YOU ARE NOT FRANK OCEAN !!! -Green hair: check. Facial piercings: check. Dad missing from early age: obviously. -Out here looking like a proud black gay man. -Dyed your hair green…. Liar swamp monster!! -"Man, DC comics is going the Black route with the new Joker." -Got a booger above your lip -Is that mint chocolate chip flavored whoopie goldeburg?! -You got a booger on your lip -You look like a Minecraft grass block -Minecraft Dirt Block -Bet you anything she puts on a wig by tomorrow -Jesus Christ. I bet you can hide an entire body in those eye bags. -Look like keenan thompson if he lost 5 pounds. -Does the carpet match the drapes?! It would be easier for your girlfriend to find! -Did you see a hair stylist or a landscaper? -You look like you own no fewer than seven cats. -Frank Ocean is anywhere but in the studio -Out here like a green M+M with half of the candy shell missing. -Congrats on the transition. -“I look like a minecraft dirt block. I LOOK LIKE A MINECRAFT DIRT BLOCK. I DYED MY HAIR GREEN TO PROVE TO YOU GUYS THAT I DON’T LOOK LIKE A DIRT BLOCK. LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT. I DON’T LOOK LIKE A DIRT BLOCK.” -Frank Ocean on welfare -grass block -"Well its nice to see with the oympics around the corner, that Carl Lewis is back on the circuit" -Cosplay of Jared's Leto joker? -Looks like a Minecraft grass block -I mean....age and mold kind of go hand in hand -You have snot on your lip. -If Dennis Rodman had a love child with Sysco -Jesus Dennis Rodman looks like shit -So you pierced your philtrum because your nose wasn’t already drawing enough attention? -Can't tell if you're an older woman staying hip or a young woman who looks old -Dennis rodman couldn't look worse. Well I was wrong -You got a bug under your nose above your lip. -r/zoroislost -I ate a lot of Broccoli then shat a big green mess which looks and smells better than the vile mess adoring your head. -"She falls for two things: broke lesbians, and pyramid schemes." -Beetleginandjuice -You look like both Roronoa Zoro and his typical opponents -It’s giving Dennis Rodman -the cashier lady from the piercing store that wouldn’t mind in piercing a minor -Dennis RotWoman -Now I got that 'smoke that broccoli ' song in my head -Her head looks like a hill liminal space -"Thank you for sharing, sir" -She got that DK Metcalf cut and die -With hair like that you better be good at basketball Mrs. Rodman -You look like the Disney version of the joker. -Shrek live action during the woke times. -I wouldn’t touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole! -"Donald Trump called, he wants his ear back" -Roronoa Zoro I know you get lost easily but this is ridiculous. -Frank Oceans new album cover. -No roast. I dig it. -Looks really good can’t roast somebody who’s perfect -I got nothing OP. You're gorgeous. -"I got nothing, you look good." -Looks like will smith should have slapped you -The grinch’s subscription fan. -You look like you beef with a horny chef on the regular -You look like you date white guys and feel guilty about it -"In the wise words of some dude on the internet a few years ago - “girl, you bout the cutest tennis ball i ever seen”" -"Can I tee off on your head?? -(Golf joke)" -"I was going to say you look like a Lima bean, but you look more like a lesbean." -I was going to say something about the green hair but it was so far back it was hard to see 👀 -"Not a roast, but it’s kind of giving Mother Earth." -That’s where my missing highlighter went! -"This has been epic! I’m going to sleep now tho. Love yall, and I love the humor and also all the genuine compliments sprinkled in. Peace and love" -You're a Democrat and are on some kind of medication. -"Idiot - -That’s all I’ve got" -You gotta fucking chill Dennis Rodman -Damn now I know why people get mad when their culture gets appropriated! Willow Smith got yall a little too comfortable. -If tennis was a person -"damn we get it you, you love to smoke weed" -From the looks of it you get no dick 🤣 -You look like I just ate a bunch of leafy vegetables -Dyed the hair to use it as an excuse why u get no attention -Human chia pet -She got that DK Mercalf cut and dye -Green Velvet's mum -I just saw you on MTV2’s Ghosted. -"The lawn is looking good, nice mow!" -Jada’s hair looked like this and she chose to own the bald look. Now we know why. -"It's highlighted, neon green if u need to understand" -"First photo: eyes closed before you see how your hair colour turned out. -Second photo: dissociating." -“I DONT LOOK LIKE A MINECRAFT DIRT BLOCK” -"Looks like you fell asleep at a party, someone found that same highlighter. Trying to own an unfortunate circumstance… 😂 I’d cut half off too." -You ever sneeze into a Kleenex and then look at it..? ☝️ -You look like the worm that’s peeking out of a tall shrub -You can mini golf on your head -Why you got no ears face on? Look like a character from Cars... -You look like and knock off Chia pet. -Are you cosplaying minecraft grass block? -Look like a burnt piece of broccoli -Who ordered ru Paul off wish? -"Genderbent universe of that one guy. Don't have a pic, but yall know who I'm talkin' about." -You like Disney would cast you for the remake of Kermit the frog -Dennis Rodman? You back? -Dennis Rodwoman -I guess black does crack -It actually suits you. You should use this look for St. Patrick’s Day. -People drive off the road when you are driving. -"Another washed up celebrity, the minecraft dirt block :(" -You *really* need to be the center of attention. You look like you’d start a fight in a grocery store over a frozen pizza. -"call luffy, zoro got lost again" -You look like you're a short order cook at Bellefleur's bar and grill and you sell vampire blood on the side. -Player 4 -This Minecraft update is wild -It's your most interesting feature by far. -moss head no sense of direction lookin ass -"I didn't know you could dye a bald spot. Huh, ya learn something new every day." -Bro really went to the barber and asked for minecraft grass block -Hair??? What hair? -minecraft grass block -Minecraft grass block -Minecraft grass block -Let me guess…dying your hair allows the dudes to see your head against the neon lights of a rave as it pops up and down suckin’ them “lightsticks” -Grass doesn't grow on a race track. Good thing you didn't do your mustache! -This Halloween you can go as the Minecraft grass block -Minecraft Grassblock looking headass -I see you Dennis rodman. -That gecko has really made itself right at home. -The grinch called he wants his pubes back. -Does the carpet match the bad life decisions? -Still a better joker than Jared Leto -The black zoro. -Dennis Rodman -The green hair was the last step. Congratulations! You now look like a clown!… -Venus and Serena would have a field day with you -did someone order doja cat from aliexpress? -Did you always want to be plant moss when you grew up? -Who knew Marcus Smart was so butt hurt from missing out on the Celtics championship he had to make posts on Reddit. -"she rescued me from my matrix pod, and got me involved in an MLM scheme." -Jada Pinkett Smith saw this and thanked god for alopecia. -"I didn’t know the grinch had a dlc pack for the blm movement, that’s cool." -I’m fine with everything really I was saying to myself at least she doesn’t have that septum thing and then I got to the next picture. -Got that fkn wimbledome -Neon hair dye. It's not just for teenage white kids anymore. -Low key not surprised they cast a trans black lesbian as the new Joker -*Walk around like you're bigger than Prince* -I thought this said “My mom dyed her hair green” 🤣 -Mom: No we have Green Velvet at home -You bout the cutest tennis ball I ever seen -What the dill with all the green -"Not really a roast, but I do like how your fashion matches the hair." -I bet from the top view you look like a giant green Skittle -"Patiently awaiting the next album, Mr Ocean" -You look like the love child between the grinch and a tennis ball -human manifestation of a minecraft grass block -Ribbit -minecraft grass block -You should put a tiny flag on ur head and you’ll look like a mini golf course on ur head - Which gas station do you work at -What hair 💀 -Denise Rodman? -Looks like your head molded. -The grass is greener on the upper side... -Just when we thought you couldn't be any less attractive...... -"You look like you ear: ""GET OUT OF MY LAWN"" a lot... Followed by shotgun fire. - -I bet I could use your ass as a sieve." -"hello beauty, my name is Jack, gardener" -Minecraft grass block -Ole Tennis ball head havin' ass 😂 -"""You're a mean one Mr Grinch"" looking ass." -What hair? -You look like a female version of the “I do NOT look like a minecraft dirt block” guy 😭 -Minecraft grass block -Damn Minecraft dirt block irl -You look like a BLM chia pet -"We get it, you're a divorced mom and you haven't paid rent since COVID started." -lovely hair -Looks amazing on you!! -Looks like when you were customizing a character you turned up each feature to the largest size -Frank Pond -it looks cool but i bet you don't know how to do long division -When you agree with EVERYTHING you’re reading and wear out the highlighter tip… -I ain’t roasting you you look 🔥🔥 nice hair -Hair like an old tennis ball being dug up by forensics -Your head ngl built like a Minecraft grass block (respectfully) -"Reminds me of a woman I accidentally spit amazing game to because her eyes were that color. I was just so honestly enamored by the color of her eyes (this color of green) that I know she was wondering why all the good ones were taken. - -I suck at roasting" -Smile 2 main character. -The Straw Hats lost zoro again -u look like a minecraft grass block.  -A very pretty asparagus 😍 -Skank Ocean -"I know this is r/roastme, but honestly, I think it looks fun. - -(Now your nose on the other hand. 😬)" -zoro will not be happy -Will Smith's wife if she was a tennis ball -What hair? Baldy -I will now call you mountain dew -looks nice! -I can't in all good conscience roast Dennis Rodman -If Disney did a Sesame Street movie you'd be Oscar. -You look like if Jada smith had gotten pregnant by shrek and did meth while pregnant -you look like you died your hair neon green -I CANT because you’re soooo pretty -Out here looking like a cross section of someone’s lawn -"Nothing on the hair. - -But doesn't that piercing between nose & lip get annoying when it rubs against your top gum?" -"You know, Dennis Rodman is looking pretty good these days considering it all." -"I know I'm supposed to roast you and all, but um... I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! My bad." -Omg I love your humor. You rock! -Avocado cosplay -"You take care of yourself, your hands are clean and manicured. You're clothes are fashionable. I'll probably be banned for this but I think you're beautiful. I dig the hair style & color too Happy trails." -Mountain Dew needs some of the green dye. -Frank ocean without the motion -"I actually like it! -(Yes, I know this is the RoastMe sub, but it looks good!)" -Trying to join the ninja turtles? -The joker from temu -I like it. -Joyless Reid -I've had a day of micro aggressions and feeling othered. I got nothing . You BE YOUR NEON SELF -"I know everyone is roasting you with references to Batman villains, lizards, Minecraft grass, tennis balls, etc. And they're not wrong. - -But how you have EARS THAT FLAT? ! Seriously bro." -"Inspired by Wesley Snipes in ""Demolition Man""?" -"You look happy, you do you boo boo!" -I don't know if I should smile at you or tee off -Frank get off Reddit and release a new album stop playing w me -Ok diet Mountain Dew I see you -Jada Pinkett Smith finally had some hair matching with her dress. -"Amazing, gorgeous, please don’t turn R." -Whoever is doing your fade is messing it up on purpose -You look like you haven't dropped an album since 2015 -"Colorful hair, check. Piercings, check. Midlife crisis, averted." -An eighteen year old skater boi called... He wants his hairstyle back -Oh my gosh Amara no way what's up it's Josh B -Ears so flat you can’t tell where sound is coming from -"You really went to the salon and said, ""Give me the fresh cut grass...""" -"Green hair? Matching dress? Jolly Green Giant, is that you?" -"Better hair, sense and cents than you" -Why didn’t you dye the mustache too? -Oscar get back in your trashcan!!! -"On you, fabulous!" -"Round the city, round the clock - everybody needs you." -If you make smoochy lips can your lip ring get caught in your nose ring -That ain’t neon -Congratulations on your haircut. Where can I contact the landscaper who did it. -Who let the bottom half of the sponge get dirty? -You are the cutest tennis ball I’ve ever seen! -⬜️🟩⛏️🕺 -Looks great!😊 -You were in the Wakanda Forever as an Atlantian. I knew I recognized you. -You just dyed your hair neon green. -">SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. - -A back button that is not fucking working fast enough." -I can't tell if you want to get a tattoo of a smile on your hand or if I gotta say your name three times just to call you. -"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch lookin ahh" -Should feature your hair in Japanese po*n. Looks so pixelated -Looks awesome!! -"You look like a movie star - -Kermit the frog" -You look like Frank Oceans ugly twin sister Frankie Lake -I’m glad you showed more pics cause I just knew you had no ears from that second pic 😂 -"Not a roast, but pleaseeeeee place tiny flowers in your hair, it's so cute!! 🥹" -I think youre beautiful but I heard someone say you look like a minecraft dirt block -You look like you enjoy entanglements and tennis. -Minecraft Grass Block Face Reveal -"I just wanted to compliment her replies. By far the best responses to a roast ever. Well done, queen!!! 🏆👏" -Um why is there an asparagus on my screen? 😭 -"Watch out, I think you have a mold infection on your head" -You’re the cutest chia pet on the shelf! -"someone said you look like the riddler, I say you look like Poison Ivy budget cosplay." -I got nothing…. 🤷🏻‍♀️I think it’s cute -i don’t like limes! -Who me? -Wish dot com Jada smith. -I was wondering what Mos Def was up to these days! Love your music! Cheers 🍻 -comment -"How often do you say ""My eyes are up here""?" -When friend zone is one donut away from critical mass -Is it really your birthday or is this your another idea to dig into a cake? -Roast you? We’re gonna need 100 kg of seasoning -"I'd wish you many more, but the diabetes and heart disease will make that virtually impossible." -You look like the guy in Toy Story 2 who owns the toy shop. -"Happy birthday, Bitch Tits" -"Roses are red, all over the cities. You should get a bra for them floppy ass titties." -I can smell u thru this phone -When did Rosie O’Donnell grow a beard??? -Yeah!! Titties and beer. -Your torso and face have the same shape -Daniel Fatcliffe -"Aren't you supposed to be drawing up a dungeon or some shit? And I meant D&D, not where you keep the kids." -Walgreens Will Wheaton -"Is that toilet paper behind you? Wash those hands and trim that mess. - -Also deal with those orangutan titties. - -Happy b day. Enjoy your 4 cakes." -Your 1 cheeseburger away from having to get forklifted into the back of a truck -"Those eyes in the last picture scream, ""Help I am a lonely virgin, anyone and anything will do!""" -Pointy Madonna tits. -In the insect kingdom he's referred to as the preying man-tits -How many fedoras do you own? -You’re the reason Red Lobster is going bankrupt -Another year around the earth without touching a vagina. Congrats bud -Guillermot Del Titties -Romulus & Remus would love you. -I see you wore your nice dirty clothes. -Nice cans -You say it's your birthday everyday as an excuse to eat cake. -I didn’t know that Rosie O’Donnell and Jack Black had a son. -Figures you would wear shoes that you don't have to tie. -Every year on your birthday your parents berate each other for buying cheap condoms. -Sick toilet selfie. -Working overtime at the factory to pay for all those femboy onlyfans subscriptions -If archaeologists find your skeleton in a thousand years they will think you are some kind of medical anomaly newborn baby the size of a grown man -Your rap name is tits mahoney -Time for a new bra -Pronouns are she/them as in let’s she them titties. -It looks like you say it’s your birthday every day at any dining establishment you go to so that you can get a free dessert. -If you had 3 penises you wouldn’t be able to see any of them when you pee -Your tits are dragging you down -25 never been kissed -You look like if Will Wheaton ate Will Wheaton -"First there was Jelly-Roll, now there's Doughnut-Hole. What's next?" -Do you buy clothes in a maternity shop? -You sure you wanna do this -His name was Robert Paulson!  -Where do you work? At a factory that makes breast implants? -"You look like you actually make the gulp sound when you gulp, like Everytime." -Got bigger titties than some of the women I’ve dated. -"Bra, where is your bra?" -How old are your MOOBS or have you had them since birth? -I’d offer you a birthday Toast but I’m afraid y’all just eat it -This dude got chocolate milk in his emergency kit. -Finally out of the training bra brah? -Bro can feed his newborn too(someone tag National geographic)🍼 -"""the Manssiere" -Imagine waking up every day having titties and a beard.... -No matter how many times you wash your hands they still smell like Cheetos -"So many cruel things to say, but like my mom said, “Fuck, what a mess!”" -"stfu man, I can sit here and tell you the same thing all day. ""we don't care""" -So you’re saying it’s too late for your mom to abort you? -You've had enough roasts. -"Hey at least you got a job, your doing 85% better then the unemployed." -"Seriously, what security guard did you blow to allow you into a manufacturing plant? Aren't you more like the keyboard warrior in the basement of your mom's house?" -Hooters! -How many World of Warcraft figurines do you own? -This man has definitely subjected his friends to the “truffle shuffle.” -I'm afraid if you get roasted too much you'd be perpetually on fire like the mountain of tires on the Simpsons. -I don't think there's any roast left. You ate it all -Daniel Fatcliffe -Go back to the wall with Jon Snow -Discount Guillermo del Toro! Happy Birthday dude. -Hairy Potter! -The only person to be refused entry into an all you can eat buffet -"Ya got titties for days, little lady." -You’re somehow a more gay Samwell Tarly -Nice tits! -The fan behind you is as close to any Fanny you’ll get. -"Would you prefer the name for a man's bra to be ""The Bro"" or ""The Mansiere""?" -You have to wear a bikini when you go to the beach to cover up those millers -Do your coworkers call you Strip Club??? Cause you've got titties for DAYS!!! -"Are you on the toilet in your last pic? -Why do people do this" -People are gonna have a hard time roasting you unless they own a large industrial oven. -Bet you got the whole warehouse smelling like taco blend cheese and armpit -You should have said ‘milk me’ instead of roast me -No need u got enough roast in you by the looks of it -"Overweight with man tits, receding hairline. Good grief man I don’t have to roast you god already did that!" -Perfect for a green card marriage ❤️ -So I heard that they didn't have a birthday suit in your size -Roast you? Fucking impossible. The center will never get cooked. -"When you fell nobody was laughing, but the ground was cracking up" -"Tell me you took Ritalin as a kid and it failed to do much without telling me - -Also you look like a friend of mine's child. She's 43 and a woman" -"Bet your birthday prostitue (because let's face it, no woman is touching you for her own pleasure) is confused and asks ""wait, me or you?"" when you ask for a titty-fuck." -Look at the tits on this lesbian -"Wow Harry, is that the cupboard under the stairs or Dudley's second bedroom?" -"I need to introduce you to my friend hunger. He is good in moderation. He can disappear with a handful of granola or an entire pizza. If you can to use him as a friend, I would recommend the granola." -Was your Birthday present to Manufacture those titties? -"I thought the 1st Pic was the ""before"" ....." -Tellytubby!! -"We can roast you, but we don't need to add any butter or fat into the frying pan" -"Tekst vertalen met je camera -It's your birthday doesn't mean you get to eat the whole fucking birthday cake... you pig." -"If you got roasted, there would be enough food to feed all of africa" -You look like you'd say women makes no effort and then go ahead and look like this -He looks like shitting makes him hard -You look like you really read age into age of consent laws too often and too enthusiastically -"I don’t know, I think you’d break the spit." -You’re the freak accident child of Haley Joel Osment and Daniel Radcliffe. Happy birthday big boy! -Playboy June 2024 centerfold girl is wild. -You look like a bad neckbeard cosplay of KD Lang. -"Mooby Dick, the white fail." -Nice tits bro -Harvey Porker and the Warehouse of Doughnuts -Nice tits bruhh -You look like Al from Toy Story if the creator of Invader Zim tried to draw him from memory but ended up drawing a decomposed whale carcass -Bros hiding them roast hams under his shirt -Discord mod of the year in the hentai Channel -Bonjour Sir roast beef de la Fattance -Your moobs cast shadows. -Kirby ate the comic book guy -"If you were able to jog, there'd be a lot of F-150 accidents in your town. - -Happy Birthday, 'melons. - -Serious note- is that a Donaldson Plant?" -"If you have contact with any women, it’s definitely, “my boyfriend is such a jerk” kind of contact" -Looks like you eat a couple of roasts for lunch -Al's toy barn: origins -Nice tits -better wear a bra next time -It's about time for that training bra DAddy. -Nice tits bro -"Happy birthday, bro. I expected a fitness transformation but your milkies and that pregnant belly is still there. Hope that kid doesnt come out as gay as you look." -36c -u look like u like to be peed on -He's the friend who gets into trouble driving back to the states from Mexico -Miss Ohio 2024 -Happy birthday. Bday twin -His name is Robert Paulson.... -Don’t you eat cake everyday? -"""Be kind rewind""...second thoughts... Don't bother..." -After your sex change shouldn't you have shaved your beard? -Roast you? Only over my grill with a fire truck on standby. Huge tub of lard. -you look like a human cyber truck. fuck you you piece of shit! -Perhaps you'd look better in black? Happy birthday to you and many more! -Dude you can be in women sports without causing any drama -You look like Chaz Bono -Nice tits -The diabeetus will roast you more than any of us ever could. -you look like infamous swoosh but from wish -We could feed your whole disappointed family if we roasted you. -What are you doing for your birthday tonight? Going out to a bra? -"Saw the thumbnail and your head was cut off and thought ""nice tits"" clicked on it and saw the whole picture and thought ""nice tits""" -"The size of your head is what I like to call, a mother's nightmare." -The bearded lady is still on tour! -It would have been worth celebrating if you took a shower and cut your hair. -"Don't even need to roast you , your lack of a bra says enough" -You look like you lactate nutella -"You probably give great bear hugs, and you look really friendly 😡. - -(Yeah, I'm no good at this)" -You won't be able to take what we gonna season out for you -This image should come with a 'titty ahead'warning -Lists 'Taking a dump' as a hobby on Grindr with the third photo as profile picture. -You are not rocking that beard -Nice tits -Oh look at that big soft nose. I just want to curl up and take a nap on that nose. Your glasses are so lucky! -STAR WARS: The Rise of Blood Sugar -"Whatever you do, don’t start wearing a trenchcoat and hang around a quick stop or people will think Kevin Smith fell off the wagon" -Nice tits -"You can smell the disappointment oozing from this guy. - -The cage around that ladder is how they keep him from going up there to end it all." -55DDD -Hopefully you get a new bra for those man titties. -You already ate all the roasts -High estrogen Harry Potter -You have to buy special order bras for those lopsided knockers -Happy birthday lard arse. Now fuck off to Weight Watchers and stop blocking out the sun. -"We found him guys, this is Mr. Reddit." -Ok fatty take that shirt off let's see those sweet tits.  I got beads😁 -"I love the progression from happiness, to you on the shitter. Perfect similarities with your life trajectory." -Roast you? But you already look half-baked... -"The dude's so fat. He even comes with cooking instructions. ""Roast Me 6/25"" (gas Mark 6, 25 mins) Jeez!" -For your birthday someone should get you a breast reduction. -"Is thos because you have no other birthday plans? Nobody likes being around you, so It's just reddit and self loathing today?" -Chicken cutlet Carl -Took a selfie on the shitter and posted it on reddit..... -Hot Pie lookin’ motherfucker. -Nice selfie on the shitter. Gross -“Mooby dick” -"If Doofhenschmitz had son, he would have the same face cut." -You look like the type of guy to take a selfie on the crapper 🚽 -I swear I saw you at Friday night magic. -I’m not even gonna roast you buddy…on purpose. I’m just gonna give you a little advice. If you ever want to procreate (probly never happen but still) don’t fucking post selfies of YOU TAKING A SHIT and post it to the internet. -Congratulations on your transition! -I didnt know you could stand up casoh -Guillermo del Sorrow -32J -Some people are considered doe-eyed but are dough-eyed. -"Fired as a gay porn fluffer..he kept crying when the job was done. ""Don't leave me!!!! No!!! Please don't leave me!!!!!""" -great cans -You look at the camera like it's the only thing that's gonna kiss you back! -Avatar the last chair bender 💀💀💀 -Bro I think we might work at the same plant. -"Ur hot. - -Sincerely not not a homophobe" -Happy anniversary of the day your mom realized she just should've blown your dad -Are you smuggling stacks of pancakes underneath your shirt or something? -You are an order of fried cheese with ranch dressing away from a D cup. -Some people should be tuned into butterflies so they bring beauty to the world you are one of those your life is going to going to be filled with pain your Jabba the Hutt disgusting 🤮 you decide what goes into your pie hole control yourself fattie! -Roast you? Hell no fuel is to expensive to afford 6 days of burning. -Congrats on your birthday this year you gained another ring of circumference -Roast you with what? Some parsley and oregano? -You have solved the 3 body problem. -No way man. I need to go get a fire extinguisher before the grease fire. -Your last pic looks like Charlie Cox let himself go. -Working in that hot factory should have done wonders for you.... -Your nose is flat and wide like that because that’s where god put his foot to pop your tail off -Quality Control inspector at the Dildo factory. -"Come on man, a toilet selfie? Get a haircut" -Those 100 tacos should provide you adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon. -#3 pretty eyes -HBD BRO -I bet your fat ass was out of breath driving to your work place. -Ur fat -"What’s going on with your brows!? Ones normal, and the other is having and existential crisis “what am I!?”" -Nice bitch tits. -OSHA mandates that you tuck yo titties in. -You know you can get bra fittings now? -You’re fat af. Lose weight and stop burdening society and the health care system. Weak ass excuse of a man. Your father is ashamed of you. You have tits.. wtf. Go workout bitch. Your testosterone is -500. Pathetic af. -Happy 64th birthday! -His name is Robert Paulson. -Are you getting your top surgery for your birthday? -"You might be my doppelgänger - -That’s the roast" -Most people mistake you as an castrated female avocado with tits bigger than 40% of women -"You could be a hero in a drought, providing your titty sweat to millions" -"1st pic is ""Bob"" (robert paulson) from fightclub" -You have the tits of a 60 year old woman -That one step son the jerks off to his step mom riding his black friends -You have a grin on your face like you just told your co-workers they can fuck your tits on lunch break. -Looks like Will Wheaton with an extra 200 lbs -Vanilla Shrek -I’d hate to see the others in your family if you were the fucking fastest sperm from your dad’s sack. Holy shit. -Happy birthday! -What size bra do you wear? -Got milk? -🧁🌮🌭🍔🍕🍟🥨🍝🥫🥡. Happy birthday! -Captain Edward Tits! -You've already had too many roasts -"Neck • Beard /nek/ /bird/ - -Noun - -Definition: See image" -The transition is not going well -When you buy your bras do you act like they’re for the girlfriend you will never have? -"Happy Birthday. - -Your man tit's are bigger than most girls tit's. I understand the depression face as no girl wants to date a man with bigger tit's than she has" -I'm just gonna call you bitch tits -You look like you stopped mid transistion so you could suck your own titties. -Nature took care of that -"I almost had my say, but the last picture you look like a lost little puppy" -You look like the kind of guy who just regularly shits his pants and waits until he needs to pee before he cleans up. -Caseoh? -Why did you include the 3rd photo - The one of the furby? -I always wanted to know what happened to Augustus Gloop when he grew up. -Happy birthday! Gope you have a good one -There's nothing I can say that you probably haven't said to yourself. -"*shakes head and looks up* -I'm sorry what did you say?" -"The bearded lady from the circus works at Amazon now, apparently." -"Happy birthday! The good news is, you get to go home and play with some massive titties!" -The first human to have type 3 diabetes. -"Looks like life already roasted the fuck out of you, pass." -"You look like that one kid from my seventh grade class who wore their hat backwards. (Plus, they were held back a few grades and hit puberty hard. They were the type of guy to not pull a single bitch.) - -Also, happy birthday James!" -Nice tits. -Happy birthday human Eeyore 🎂🥳 -Some body ran him over in a truck last week when the police asked did you see him in the road the driver said yes but I hadn't got enough fuel to go round ! -You’ve had enough roast sir -Bro looks like he stalks little girls and when he’s caught he uses the “we’re just friends” excuse 😂😂 -No need to roast you. I will let your doctor roast you on your unhealthy lifestyle. -Poster child for the effects of bovine hormones in milk -Nice tits. -Do you want me to cut my hair off for you? -Do you donate breast milk? -Mommy milkers -How many hams do you have hidden on your body? -I wonder what happened to AL’s Toy Barn. -You look like if I get hurt you'll cry for me. -Shat our a few greasy calories and felt cute. Let me take a picture -"Here’s a thought. When you can’t see your genitalia when you look down, stop eating you fat fuck." -Get a bra -"This is probably a terrible roast because of how true it is but . . . - -You look like you'll get way more play in drag or as a trans than you ever would presenting as just a regular man." -Aren’t you the dude who jumps through tables? -You look like an oversized midget -How often do you get compliments from people telling you that you should join the biggest loser challenge? -This isn't gna end well for large tit's here -Clearly you already ate the cake. -Did you ask for a set of grandma tits for your birthday? -Was your tittys touching your knees in that pic of u sh!tting -Bro… No one should roast you. You’re wearing Walmart And 1 shorts from 2006. The depth of hardship you’ve fallen on is unfathomable. -You're that fat man from fight club 😂 -Happy 50th! -"*talking to chest* ma’am… - -*talking to face* sir? Ma’am? Behemoth?" -Daddy want some milk? -That shop is a mess. Your the shop helper. Get to work! And are those steel toed runners? -What can we do to you that McDonald's hasn't already done 😂 -Happy Girthday. -"This is Bob, Bob has bitchtits" -Hiding some Oreos under that shirt -Your name was Robert Paulson -who's after your lucky charms? -Do you swim with a one piece or a two piece? What am I even saying? You don't get exercise. -Taco Bell wants their food back -Are you literally taking a dump in your 3rd pic? It looks like the kind of thing you would do. -You have bigger tits than me and I’m female. -"Need a new bra, your saggin" -bruce!!! get out off the chocolate cake! -Roast pork -You need to lay off the roast dinners -edmund mcmillen looking ass -Can I buy you a bra for your birthday? -"I dunno, Reddit. - -Samwise, Samwell, or S(h)ammoo?" -"Seriously your a good looking man, loose some weight, stop dressing like a 5yr yes even to go to work. Begin eating correctly, develop a regular workout routine." -You look like you need hearing aids -I know you wheeze when you walk -You weld with just your safety glasses on don't you? -Pronouns are eat/ate -"i don’t think we need to add anything else, life ruined you good already" -Could you recommend your breast surgeon? -Lil mf thought he was being cute on the last one go put on a bra g -Bob. Bob had bitch tits. -Why did you take a picture on the toilet -"Nah, I'll pass. You look like a good human to me." -No point. You roasted yourself -Your shirt is a bedsheet. -You have bigger tits than my girlfriend and she’s got some big ole tittys -"You look like the bearded woman who escaped from the circus. If you need a bra that fits, I believe Victoria’s secret does free sizing to help you out" -"Bruh you like a discord mos or a Reddit mod - -you like you say “I love you my kitten”" -comment -"If you take of the face tune, makeup, and stop painting your eyebrows on youd look exactly like the ghost of Michael Jackson." -You should have put the hedgehog emoji over your face. -How do you look both adopted and homeless -You look so plain and unseasoned that even Gordon Ramsay couldn't make a good roast out of you -Loosey Liu -you look like a reusable component that people come back to when they've exhausted all options -"My first guess was that you go to a school somewhere in Southern California and maybe you like boba and Korean bbq. - -Then I saw your post history and you go to UT Dallas and you're trying to quit vaping. - -So I was correct lol" -Am I wrong to say Id do this ugly little homeless boy? -Lucy Liu-ser -You look like a Christian praying mantis -The message on that post-it-note might be the only thing longer than your thumbs.  -Looks like a lot of fun at Uyghurs camp! -You got the body of a used toilet paper roll -You look like the couple from Beetlejuice when they morph their faces to scare the guests. -"If your personality is as interesting as your body, then that is why you’re single." -Going to bed at the Wong time -"Christ on a bike, why are young people so fucking vanilla these days?! I wouldn’t mind but they whinge ten times as much as well. Oooooh “I’ve got insomnia”. Do some proper fucking graft like we used to do and then you’ll sleep. Fuck me…" -On a sliding scale of looks to bullshit you don’t seem worth the pain of listening to you drone on about nothing just to get a 3/10 handjob. -You have disproved the theory that you can't diagnose autism from a picture. -"Don't worry, nepobaby. Just buy two Prada belts and pretend you're a black belt in something other than cum fu." -This is never going to help you get over being rejected by your parents. Stop now. -The progress of your jawline from your daily blows look good! -"A post-it note Happy Birthday sign? - -Wow, your foster family really went all out this year." -You look like a guy in your first pic ngl -"Weaning off antidepressants is giving you the insomnia, restart them" -Look here young man you go to bed when you're told to..... -You look like you’d give me a chance -"Nothing says ""insecure"" and ""Socal Issues"" like inward facing foot posture." -"Things that are already at absolute zero can't be ""declining""." -Hello Neytiri -Eyebrows? -Olivia Rodrigo after being in a car accident -"You lack insight into makeup ingredients that don’t go along with your lack of skin care regimen, especially around your nose crease." -"What is that 3d photo, are you mewing? I hate to break it to you but looksmaxxing will not fix your face." -if you cant sleep then go to sleep -"Some cultures believe that a woman becomes pregnant when she accumulates enough semen in her womb. - -If that's the case, you look like your mum was a groupie at the UN council after parties." -You look like youre addicted to clash of clans -You should ask one of the other ladyboys to teach you how to do your makeup better. -I wouldn't be able to sleep either if I looked like an Asian praying mantis.... -Yer eyes so far apart u look like a hammerhead shark -You look like you’re wearing someone else’s face in the first pic -"Looks so plain, not even your white adoptive parents ever told you they are proud of you." -Proof aliens exist on earth -"You guessed correctly in two pictures: on a scale of 1 to 10, you are indeed a solid 2" -"Curious. When the 3rd professor gets you pregnant, do you get some sort of award or certificate? 🤔" -"Maybe you just smell really bad, and no one wants to be around you. And a massive downer telling people about your insomnia and anxiety. No wonder people aren't spending time with you. Bet they hate it when they accidently run into you in public and have to make awkward small talk while holding their noses. I bet they were glad when covid masks got introduced. God finally answered a prayer 🙏" -Ten dolla! I love you long time! -You look like the type to buy food and eat it behind everyone’s backs -Your face cured me of my insomnia. -You look like you get abandoned by groups a lot. -This AI stuff is starting to look so lifelike… just gotta work on the spacing of the eyes -I have your exact same shirt and it is literally the best photo I have of myself. Mine was from about 5 years ago though so uhh I guess your shirt is out of style or something. Boom roasted -Step 1: get off the internet -Are you standing next to Saiki cos he's treating you like Teruhashi? -OMG WAIT R U A FELLOW WOOSH TEMOC PERSON WTF -How come all the big nose people wanna be roasted. Like they can't smell what the rock is cooking...l -"""You are so brave!"" When did you decide to start your transition?" -how do you look like that and still fail at life? -"ur chin got internet service at all times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -It's fr worldwide" -You could cut glass with that chin. -Id call you a “half & half” but idk which side Id offend more just saying that. -"Lets go with the standard.... - -I will make..... .......this easier for you" -You look like the asian version of Marlo Snellman but on crack -"Lemme guess, no cake?" -sorry that you have to wear a cross around your neck to get accepted -"Life has roasted you so much it forgot to fuck you, childhood trauma has never looked so good. 😉" -Your shorter than Messi. -your personality must be really bland if you have to be friends with a pink-haired hedgehog -Real Life ultra wide screen -Thanks for curing me of my Asian fetish. -Nice try on getting us to click on your OF link.  -you need to go to beauty school -u vape far more than ur average vaper -drop ya number or add me on ig giftedkartel -"are you ""pre"" or ""post"" Op?" -Do they make extra wide glasses to fit your extra far apart eyes? -All I ask of you is that you love me long time...not short time! -"A hairband on each wrist, you’re either hiding scars or the football team is cumming over……your face" -That nose is like a trumpet. It tells others you've arrived at least a minute before you actually show up. -Remember when the other boys would pick on you in the locker room.....WELL LOOK AT YOU NOW!!!! INTERNET FAMOUS! -Honda civic SE if it were a chick. -You look like that one person who would sit in the corner and say nothing while a group of people are chatting. -"You look more plain/boring then the wall in my room, that I look whenever I question the purpose of my life." -Uncle Roger say you are “Hiiii-yaaaa” and should go back to Auntie Hellen -At least the bowling ball was picked up and fingered before being thrown in the gutter. -"They say ""Everything is bigger in Texas"" that's not true and true all at once because your tits aren't big but your body count is huge." -"You got that stressed out smoker look, with a hit of alcoholic." -He’s a cute little fella -"Look for the last time, just do the pedicure and stop asking “why I have no girlfriend,” ok?" -OP's picture is the perfect mental image for getting rid of unwanted erections. -Your face looks like the mask Vega from Street Fighter wears... only it's a cheap knockoff from Temu. -You look like you'll be 3rd time divorced by 30. -It's not really insomnia when you're just up all night giving am unsuccessful bj. -Lady-boys aren’t putting any effort in these days -"With those eyes, you must see in widescreen only." -Who even uses that style of light switch anymore? Bad choice of aesthetics. -You eat your ice cream with chopsticks -You are both super caucasian and super Asian at once. -You look like your entire personality is based off of the fact you do butt stuff on a first date. -White bread isn’t as plain as you are. -You’re the reason shampoo bottles have instructions. -"Too white to be Asian. - -Too Asian to be white. - -Enjoy never fitting in with anyone" -Lily from Modern family looks like shit now -Shun(ned) Li -"You look like you're higher maintenance than a warehouse full of Jaguars from the 80s. (That's a car, just in case you're dumb)" -The pimple is your best feature. -Picture #3 definitely ladyboy -Where’s your Onryfans page? -How is it going over at the nail salon? -I used to have that exact same t-shirt..... I burned it 5 minutes ago after seeing your picture -you look like someone my friend would crush on (she’s gay) -Drop shipped AliExpress ladyboyfriend -Saiki kun looked kinda outta shape there -can you fit russia between your eyes? -Ladyboi -Anya Taylor-Choi -First bona fide catch and release by traffickers -You look like the poster child for edgy teen with insomnia so I actually don't believe you have it -Pound land Kate Moss -Pound land Kate Moss -Anya Taylor-Depression -You look like you are about to teach us the latest shuffle dance -I thought lady boys were supposed to look like ladies not starving teenage boys. -Why is everyone named Kim? That is your name isn’t it Kim -You werk today? -I'm pretty sure America already did that a few wars ago. -"Well, there goes my Asian fetish. Thanks." -you say the N word unapologetically -"This is the best transition I’ve ever seen. Wait, so you start off as an Asian guy and turn into an Asian girl? Hmmm. So you put a wig on and put on some weight?" -You look like you rizz guys by going dayyyum boyee while stroking your chin w a half smirk. -I don't wanna -she look like healthy addict -Are you actually Christian or do you just wear that cross to scare away the smart ones? -Roast me is literally one mental breakdown away from Onlyfans -"“Chopper 1 to Base, do we have the all-clear on landing pad 4(head)?”" -"She looks She Shoplifts at Hot Topic . I actually kicked a Asian Down the Stairs today. It was ""WONG"" on so many levels." -You definitely shop at baby Gap. -Are you a doctor yet? -"I know Jesus will save everyone but I heard, he’s willing to make you the exception." -Never seen an Asian girl with a Jewish nose -You have the weird face of a sexdoll -"your ""friend"" is the hedgehog, that makes u tails, & nobody wants to be bitch ass Tails! - -... SEGGGGAAAA!!!" -Play one game of pickleball. Do it for .me -Roast me…. You look well done! -"Really don't care enough to roast you, but I care enough to tell you, you are....... Zzzzzz....." -You look like you failed Geisha school and got exiled to the Land of Wind and Ghosts. -bro couldn't find any real friends so she went to an anime convention and took a picture of the nearest cosplayer -"To hell with the roast ,fine af lol 😆" -Yo condition so bad that even you can't figure it out for yourself -Another brainless girl taking endless selfies of themselves with a nose ring. Very profound and intelligent girls are these days. -You look like you are mass produced and sold to over weight americans that like to watch too much anime -"if the person who wished you happy birthday by post-it note didn't feel you were worth the effort, do we really need to say more?" -"If you want to improve things, dump that superstitious trinket around your neck." -Can you read my lips? -Insomnia????? Blud you look like the full sleep paralysis demon yourself -I see low-budget porn in your near future. -It would take Couch to 5K to go from your ear lobe to your chin. -You're wallmart ali wong. You are ali wrong. -Youre hot -Fuck. 3rd pic got me head over heels for you. And as soon as I saw 4th pic I poked my eyes with the same heels -I have a feeling you drive much better in video games than in real life -You look like you taste good roasted 🍠🤤 rotisserie style -more like roast beast -"You need to get out and do something, anything. Breathe some life into that dead soul." -I'm not sure how to roast you. You are a really handsome fellow so i guess I will have to insult your pants of something -You're the reason men wont go after serious dating -You cant even find your own clit. -Can't tell if you're supposed to be some kind of asian or if you're just on drugs -The thing you look like you've been searching for to give your life meaning is heroin. -"Well, maybe you’ll have the chance to marry some old dude who doesn’t know better because all he sees you as is your age and Asian. You can be a dragon lady and take his children’s inheritance." -Pronouns are Grudge/Ring -When you order your Asian from Temu -Tell me I'm pretty without telling me I'm pretty. Someone needs attention. -Quermöse -Average ladyboy. -"i honestly dont have anything for you, youre not the kind of person who belings on this sub" -Why the long face? -"i honestly can't say anything bad, you're pretty af" -Were you in modern family? -So when'd you cross the DMZ? -Do your parents feel sad ehen they see you? Or did they already leave? -Today's postings read like a traffickers advertising brochure  -She’s got a bigger dick then half the people roasting her 😂😂 -Ghengis Dawn -Mid -Why whenever i open this app A BEAUTIFUL Sometimes Ugly eh GIRL BE LIKE ROAST ME -"I can fix you, hmu" -What’s exciting for you this week? -You forgot to grow tits. -In have seen worse lady boys -idk aisan? -I can fix her bro... -You look like white people in Anime -What doing? -You look like you play spin the bottle with your Hello Kitty backpack. -You look Goth and transsexual at the same time. -You are really really really cute:) -I find you very attractive. That is all. -Cum o me chi. -I’m trying to carry YOUR babies -She looks like the Viper King in XCOM -lazy eye -I’m still amazed with Korea’s plastic surgery advancements with transitioning boys into girls. -How do you look like you both 5 and 27 at the same time.your nose so big Mount Everest got scared 😳  -Forgot to buy tampons again ? -Throwing in the mew pic is wild -I’ve seen more depth and personality out of a chicken. It also had bigger tits than you -Dollar bin Xyla Foxlin -You keep mewing you're gonna look like handsome squidward -"not a roast, am I tripping/racist or does that look like Henry and jeanies(MxR) love child" -Your insomnia appears to be the only interesting thing about you -You look like I could outsource the roasting to you for a fraction of the cost. -Femboy? -"These pictures made me sad. the bad posture, the cheap powder foundation and the baggy clothes. The insecurity is LOUD." -You look like you're prone to bringing dishonor to your family by pretending to be a teenager in bed. -Not-tina lookinozz -Imma roast that left eye first…then walk to the other…so you’ll hear from me again in 2 weeks. -I can fix both 🥰 -Some red paint on your massive nose and you’d be circus ready! -Which Anime cartoon are you in again? -If I looked like you I wouldn't be able to sleep either. -Freddy Prince Jr couldn’t even make you prom Queen -You’re kinda look like a bad sketch of Ariana grande -Evel Knieval couldn't clear the space between your eyes -Dtf? -"Sorry, I was too busy looking at what is the photo to realize there is someone even in them." -"Go role some spling lolls, will help with the boredom and if you don't sleep anyway. 2 birds 1 stone." -Lil Rae Flat -Do you like s'mores -You look like Eva Mendez....Post plastic surgery pulling her vagina to her sternum. -Yoko “Oh no” -You look like you smell like ketchup -Ching chong -I bet you give one night stands good morning kisses. -"I’m surprised that you are bored because it’s normally very easy to entertain stupid people. - -Also, I noticed that cross around your neck? Do you believe in fairytales or is that just a place for the guys to aim their cum?" -U look good for an Asian... an Asian dog that's. -Do you have smelly socks -You look like you got rejected from a kpop band. -Previously unknown Splice experiment comes to light. -"I don't know how I'm supposed to roast you when you're looking that good, like, at least try to appear unattractive or use bad pictures so I have some ammunition lol." -Japanese girls have the best tits of the Asians.  -You're a good driver that's how we guessed your mixed race -I kinda wish that that hedgehog covered your face instead of your friend's. -"I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is definitely sum ting wong with you." -Damn! Actually you look great! 😂 -Live action version of Roger from American dad when he dresses like a woman -You look like you’d be the first person to die in squid games -"Life has been rough after Modern Family, eh?" -"You're definitely one of those people who think they have things wrong with them, you probably believe you also have anxiety, depression and ADD just Luke 2/3 or gen z." -You look like an Avatar creature painted white -When did you transition? -Onlyfans subscribers must be fleeing -Shrimp fried rice please -you could play an alien trying its hardest to look human in Men in Black 4 -How do your eyes live in different time zones? -Sawako irl? -i actually think youre pretty but youre fashion says otherwise!!!! -Oxford Study -"If you were a spice, it would be flour." -hates abortion will have 20 children -youre rhe only oriental i know rhat can smoke a full cigarette in a rainstorm. that nose acts like a natural canopy ☔ -She peels her face off at night. -No need to roast you. You’re a beautiful young lady. -Who the fuck gets an eyebrow fade? -You’re kind of manly but that’s not necessarily a roast -I don’t think you’re very authentic with allot of people and that’s bad mkay -You look better when you’re not smiling because it seems more authentic. -You're giving a double thumbs-up in a T-Mobile store. -You wouldn't get mine cause I'd have to drop the bomb twice before you got the message 💀 -You’re adorable! -stfu joji -Hope you're not taking a plane anywhere soon. I can't imagine what the fees will add up to when they make you check those bags under your eyes. -Why do this? You have all the things to do with your life but you choose to be roasted and be mocked by people is it that you want to be the clown or be the idiot of society? Do BETTER! -Pretty sure I saw you on Brazzers. -Get a hobby -"You look like my oc Landia. -...And she stays inside all day" -I always wondered if anime characters would look good in real life. Question answered. -"I don't know if you're Asian or Latina... Either way, you look like you do laundry once a month" -No way your wayyyyy to good looking to roast IMO -Your eyeliner looks like wings trying to fly you away from us so we can safe. -god drew ur eyes too far apart -off topic but the saiki k cosplay at the end is fire -"ima jus call dis mf a ""wink"" cuz i can't tell if dis mf look white or asian😭" -My 12 year old nephew had the same body as you -"You’re like the human version of inconsequential, not because you’re inconsequential, of course, but because your eyes are so far apart." -"You posed with two thumbs up, and you look like someone who thinks that looks cool and cute. It doesn't." -I can’t tell if your favorite food is tacos or dog -"Hot. Really scary, but hot. Like, I wake up one day and she has my severed penis in one hand and a running blender in the other kind of scary. Still hot, though." -"Let me guess, you're ""not like other girls""" -dont get mad dont get mad you said to roast you but anyways you dont need a roast looks like you roast enough cats and dogs already -"3rd picture makes it look like you're on a mewing streak. Congrats, another useless thing you're trying to stop feeling like a disappointment instead of doing some actual work" -the 15% off special on the mail order bride website. -"Are you Adam Savage, because it looks like you’re trying to grow back your eyebrows after burning them off. Or perhaps you’re a busted myth from his time on mythbusters about how makeup can make one look less like an insane insomniac. Also, how can you look like you just woke up and yet also haven’t slept in days, must be how you’re dressed." -Oh yeah! They finally caught the pangolin that started the Wuhan flu! -Ching chong -"Ok I'll give it a shot... - -Why are you here, you... you... um... you amazingly, gorgeous creature. Look at you with your perfectly symmetrical face and flawless skin... you suck! 😏 - -Sorry, I got nothing 🤣" -How do you look like early CGI and AI generated at the same time? -Imagine playing on the lowest difficulty setting and still floundering. -Her eyes are both spread far apart and somehow looking at the camera though they are at different places -You're not old enough to get this but I'll explain it in layman's terms; see for something to decline you have to develop it first -I can't really think of much honestly that's not offensive -"Your a cutie -No roasting" -An incestuous Navajasian -I think she’s cute -You are beautiful ❤️❤️❤️ -"You're so bland, i've got nothing firing off in my head. Even water has taste in hindsight." - Am I gonna get banned for saying you’re literally so pretty -"I think i roasted you yesterday, didn't i ?" -The other Mulan tries acting like a girl but is confused as a boy -You’re beautiful!!! -You look like u stay up too late playing league of legends -Those bags under your eyes look deeper than the pot bunkers at St. Andrews. -All the pronouns plus 4 more. -"I'm not surprised that the thing they got you for your birthday was a post-it with happy birthday written on it when your ""friend"" clearly asked you to cover their face so no one knows you where together" -I'd fill cream pie your fortune cookie -Move on..............the accident was 10 years ago ^((it was your fault)) -You look like if the teke teke ghost had legs -Roast you? It's your smile 😉😉😉 -You can build up a full boar roast between those eyes -FFS what is this doing on r/RoastMe? -"Your lovely face and playful spirit make people want to be your friend. If you won't let them, that's you." -"I will never understand the transparent attempt at self deprecation. Why on earth would you want to be a social loser? Why would you brag about it and seek out this outcome? - -""I'm Pretty, well taken care of, have money, but need to employ weird self deprecating social cues to let you know that I am not completely out of touch with society. I have Insomnia! and pretend to be socially awkward, oh my god aren't I quirky, but not too quirky, still pretty and capable of navigating the higher social caste"" - - -Just stfu up and go to one of those subreddits where people just unabashedly post picutres of themselves to be rated. You're not fooling anyone." -"Being bored is your fault. You could easily amuse yourself convincing weebs online that you’re a real life anime character….not that this is much of a challenge, but that empty-headed grin with the victory sign says you might not intellectually be up for more." -"One eye is in Asia, the other in the Middle East." -"I bet you apologize a lot for literally nothing, and then you get angry at yourself about it after, and you swear you'll stop doing it, but you never do." -How do you look like your own genderbent version? -Making that filter work overtime. -No one wants to socialize with you anyway… -"You came here to get roasted, but there is nothing to roast on you." -The only thing more manicured than your complexion is your personality. -"Congratulations, one of the only people who has not had their image reversed and had a backwards verification." -"I'm just here to say, 🖕- sincerely from anybody you screwed over by fucking the grading curve." -I need attention blah blah blah  -Stop wearing eyeliner please -Mental decline bad enough you already have reminder sticky notes by the door? -You are the visual representation of what cat piss smells like. -Now everyone who reads this sat it like you think it sounds when she says it -You look just fine! Don't let anybody put you down little fella. -you resemble a rodent -I could blindfold you with a rubber band... -If Anya Taylor-Joy were Asian. -https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&sca_esv=4bb6b1564136f20c&sca_upv=1&hl=en-us&q=kung+fu+panda+characters&udm=2&fbs=AEQNm0D8w290mrrxEB5tt05ZGXVzALPdzG6aEPQnRK485acX2dpEjN_sfwrTyzRcN6D_X35_lgBKw6bePd77MsNOq_foLAxrUpzH0VvaH1kW_orCyFfCNTWImCiImHHxWRDn6-qG861l1LnmjUDwNx_eJL5sXVU3jtDUxurE6IlYiCuXO2o7V4uKtcLzlROfYd0OSCQ_QmcMKsUgmwpbzX4H_LwXHZzhPA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi-sbLKoImHAxU1mYkEHUVHCjgQtKgLegQICBAB&biw=390&bih=663&dpr=3#vhid=PIO5fxmQBtObvM&vssid=mosaic -"If ""meh"" was a person" -Her dad fought in Nam -comment -Do you keep paintings of all your food? -Do you get disappointed when you open stuff on Christmas knowing you made it? -Should probably change your name to fit how disappointed your parents are. Yuno Doctor-yet -We all know that notebook and oversized T shirt are not going to hide the fact that you missed puberty. -Next time please hold the paper a bit higher. I can still see some face. -"Tell me you're at least in school to be a doctor, lawyer or engineer. your parents are already disappointed enough that you're not a boy. don't give them more reasons." -Proper Asian fashion can't tell the difference between a 7 year old and a 22 year old -How have you been since Modern Family ended? -You look like your dad. -"You’re actually kinda cute, but who’s that weird looking Asian dude holding the sign in front of you?" -So…what’s the plan since OF is clearly not an option? -You look like you smell like cat food -Who knew your name would translate into Plain Jane. -Even your photo is slanted! -I'll get lemon chicken and egg fried rice please -"That's ironic, 22 times is how often your parents thought about aborting you after finding out you weren't male" -Im finding the cat painting is better to look at -"Is that a cookbook cover on your wall, behind you?" -You only give out sad endings -"You look like some tricked you , gave you that sign to hold because you can't read then said just smile." -"I think the only thing worth roasting is how remarkably dull you are. -An empty jar has more personality." -get back in the sweatshop -why are you here finding ways to get roasted - haven’t your parents done enough? -This about to get racist real soon -If you want to get rid of the notifications you’re receiving on Reddit without looking at these nasty comments you could always blindfold yourself with some floss. -Yoko Oh-No. -I can draw an airport on ur forehead -This picture smells like ginger and kimchi. -Parents should've named you sum ting wong -22?!?! you're 22!! I feel like I could go to jail for talking to you -I use your picture when teaching my cats about stranger danger. -people in the comments so uncreative and cant come up with anything that isnt based on ur race. I can at least just say ure ugly -"Idk why, but i feel like if you want to show us your morning/night routine on a youtube video with a Taylor Swift/Billie Eilish music. - - -(Only for fews)" -You look like you're about to go break up a British rock group. -"I thought you were gonna come out my phone and do the grudge walk, fr scared me silly" -its hello kity and hello shity -Total shock to see cat art on your wall. 🤯 -"Give me your best one and I’ll give you mine . I can just hear you say , “ sucky sucky , me love you long time”" -Don’t even dare to show your teeth. -"For 5 cents a day ,,, you can help feed this hungry orphan …." -"Glad its a photo, had it been a video, it wud have been blurred." -That haircut can be found in every preschool psychiatric clinic -Kim Jong un's love child -"Here's two words that will help you more than anything else in your career, 'Happy ending?'" -"22...as in the pair of chromosomes you have. A missing pair, like your social life." -"No, I will not buy you Apple gift cards" -You look easy to draw -"You gave us two photos, and your eyes are not open in either one." -"Friends,it's not a female,that's a ladyboy,since it must have taken balls to post it here." -I think we already roasted your people enough in 1945🇺🇸 -You could either be an eye doctor or a car salesman but either way you’d be working with cataracts. -That sketchbook has more potential than you -even the cat is looking in horror at the abomination in front of him -The hardest book you ever read was Where's Waldo. You dropped out of school and sell Pokémon toys from home. Your dad disowned you. -Your parents must be furious with the baby limit. -The creepy ass cat picture on the wall has a better future outlook than you homeboy -"You’re going to end up with a white guy and instead of him referring to you by your name to others he’s going to always refer to you as “My Asian girlfriend/wife”. You’ll probably be totally fine with it, too." -"You tried so hard to become a K-Pop idol, but you where actually not talented and pretty enough. Now your working as the girl who paints the toe nails of idols, because that’s the only way you can be close to the industry you love so much. I almost pity you" -Aren’t you supposed to be building railroads? -You look like an anime village character who dies while running away from a street thug. -Kinda odd to have artwork of your next meal on the wall. -Our owner has a nice basement -your forehead looks like white chocolate with hazelnut -The God awful handwriting really goes well with your face -Some one has been eating too many dimsim hey chubby chops. -Liu Kunt -"I knew this post would get a ton of simps. - -Anyways, - -On a scale of 1/10 how disappointed are your parents?" -"You don’t deserve my best one, so here’s my fifth." -You could have just worn a plain white Tee Shirt and wrote r/roastme on the vast flat expanses of it. -Isn't your mirror doing that job for year's... -"Your ancestors so smart , they taught me: Man who enter turnstile sideways , bound to Bangcock !!" -Why do you have to yell talk all the time -"This is Awkwafina's younger, much uglier, sister, Awkward." -I thought you drowned in a water tank? -Bro goes into a rampage mode when someone dosent wash the rice -Show your stash of red envelopes. -"When you travel, do you pack the rice cooker in your checked or carry-on bag? - - -You look like you were really excited when you found an apartment with a dishwasher. All that extra cabinet space. - - - -Wearing a racing shirt won't magically imbue you with the power not to scrape your bumper on the curb. - - -Just a tip, those lines on the pavement in the parking lot... they're not meant as suggestions.  - - -Speaking of pavement markings, we use American arrows here to point you in the right direction. Use an app to translate those arrows into whatever symbols your people use." -Bet that pic behind you is gonna be on a dinner plate soon -You look like you live alone or what are you lonely or pathetic -You’ve covered your chin too much. Do it over! -Your cat collection had to start with a painting cause even cats won't let you get close enough to them for a picture -Seeing people fighting in the comments is the best part. Like all jokes aside this is a joke subreddit for roasts and shit. Y’all need to chill out and just roast and stop fighting each other 😭😂 spit some fire or carry on with your day like gd OP didn’t come here to watch y’all fight about if she is or isn’t ugly she came here for funny ass roasts like common people LMAO -You so Asian you hate shoes on yo floor -"You wear too much makeup, have old lady cat vibes, and chances are disappointed a lot of people and I can't figure out why written all over those eyes, not to mention. Your Reddit name is VEGETABAL CHIPMUNK??? There are not only funnier things. -Also the cat tapestry IS NOT helping with me thinking you're a old cat lady, I bet you smell like cats and steam fry." -Ching chong bing bong -I see you have a painting of your dinner hanging on the wall. -Apologize for pearl harbor -"I liked you better in ""Full Metal Jacket"". ""Sucky sucky five dollar.""" -"Hi yeah can I get a side with two entrees? Chow mein, orange chicken and beef and broccoli. No drink, thanks." -How fitting there’s a cat picture behind you. Get ready to have about 7 real ones living with you. -Were not allowed roast kids sorry... -Nothing to roast but you ate cute -You ugly -"Btw (I probably will be downvoted to oblivion but) you are probably the only person I've seen on this subreddit that isn't absolutely disgusting. You look decent, which is more than I can say for most of the platforms users." -Why does your arse look like that?! -My foreskin has better shape than your face. -You have the face of a woman who could play a sex worker in any Vietnam War movie. -I’d recommend using a different picture when you mistakenly messaged someone who you thought was your friend and are now trying to scam with some crypto scheme. -I'd give you my best money shot. -Chinese NPC. -Brush your hair -I wouldn’t even give you a sympathy one. -"you look indonesian, thats humiliating enough already lol, if u actually are indonesian thats even worse so" -The cleaner's daughter vibe.  You're still upset you had to wear blue plastic sandals. -Sooooo... what mail order bride website are you on? -I bet you spend most time at home studying and you’re still a disappointment to your parents -Are these photos pre or post op ? -Even the cat was shocked. -May have seen you on a website with a black screen and an orange arrow. -Why aren't you a doctor yet? -Bet you can run a vacuum cleaner with the best of 'em. Roomba will NEVER have your job! -You look like 12 too me -So that’s where all the neighborhood stray cats went -"If i google ""asian"" the first thing that Codes up is your face" -I see you have a painting of your favorite food. -"You are hot, for a twig" -clapped -Your parents disowned you for getting a B for calculus -What in the rush hour 2 -Have you ever wondered why your parents didn't eat you when you were still a fetus? 🤔🤮🥢 -knock knock.. housekeeping... .. i come in? yes? no? yes? want me fluff pillow? you want hot towel? -was this before or after your 16 hour shift at the sweatshop assembling my iphone? -Looking at the only A you'll ever see. -Your handwriting and your face both look drawn by a non-dominant hand. -Weird that you hung a menu on the wall. -Kinda look like the cat painting hanging on the wall -"Damn girl, you're giving me the yellow fever over here, or something. - -Because just looking at you makes me wanna puke and self isolate. 😰" -You look easy to draw -Where's the black couch -Hey - didn’t you give me a handie after my “massage” last week? -"Holy Smokes, Kwash Landing!" -Sandra Oh dear -You look sweet. -You look like a failed Xerox copy of Korean Idol Lisa -I'm still mad you broke up the Beatles -"She looks like she's gonna get cast as a young Donnie Yen in a biographical film"" coming soon to theaters near you""" -You are so comfortably average. -"^(You somehow have manged to 16 active channels for distinct and specific categories across social media, possibilly making millions and yet you are lower pecking order of your family despite better finances. Hence why look like rejected ""idol"" singer who will probably mint chocolate icecream sandwiched between Hawaain Pizza.)" -"I have a question...How many times a day do you say ""give me your best one"" for hand jobs at the massage parlor where you work?" -You look like the kinda person whose bed stinks -That reminds me... I need my naila done. -Is that a picture of your favorite dish on the wall? -I’ll take the 22 and the 74 with a side of egg fried rice please. -Where’s your mask -22 in dog years? Aren't you supposed to be making Dave Chappelle's shoes? -"Last time I saw you, you were having a swim in a water tank." -Be carefull not to eat the cat on the wall because tje paint might poison you -Is that a portrait of you on the wall in the back? -"You look like my Chinese cousin ho isn't t chinease - -And you have -1000000000000000 IQ" -"Oh look, the one that survived the mass drownings." -At least get out of bed -You look and write like you’re 6. Next -you would get roasted way more with me as your boyfriend -You smile like a fat kid but have less curves than the paper you’re holding. -Twenty two? More like turning two -So nice of you to add an artistic interpretation of your husband in the background. -How are Mitch and Cam doing? -That’s tricky. No one will ever hate you as much s as you clearly hate yourself. So I’ll give you a compliment instead. Nice calluses. -The rice overcooked btw you should go back to work pretty sure the break ended -Is 22 how many years your boyfriends keep getting sentenced to? -I see you have a picture of your dinner on the back on the wall behind you noice -Are you Indonesian? You look ripe for being a Saudi family’s housemaid. -I bet you shuffle your feet along instead of walk. -"Lol, it's always something about looking like the other 8bil and going on OF" -You look like one of those girls I expect to see on some fake McDonald's counter with her legs spread open for people to come and taste in those Japanese porn videos. -"Another female, into the toilet you go." -You look like a 12 year old boy whose face was run over by a steamroller. -Whore -Count your blessings that you didn’t get tossed when they figured out you were a girl. -You look like the type of girl that whould be in a Tenacle porn -I’d rather talk to the cat painting. -I have a picture of food on my wall too. -You look like you want every guy’s best one -"Wow, you put on your finest outfit for this roast. How nice." -when doremon had taken shit then you're face was formed -I've never thought about putting artwork of my dinner on the wall... -Shouldn’t you be practicing violin or doing math homework? Your parents are going to be disappointed more than usual. -Who in the hell takes a picture of their dinner table and frames it on their wall? -You’re missing the Nikon camera around your neck -Annnnd *tribute* -Why’d you break up The Beatles? -Your hair is so coarse I could use it as coal for my grill -Wotwen Twong -"When your boyfriend blindfolds you in bed, he uses dental floss" -I feel like there’s some scary teeth behind those lips trying to break through. -I thought America already roasted you guys? -How can we roast someone who looks already roasted enough? -Next time pls get a real cat. That’ll add one thing in the universe that loves u (I’m just joking) -"Hey Yoko, why do you dress like a prostitute from Lai Châu, Vietnam? Still lookin to earn that 5 pack of Juicy Fruit and can of Sprite?" -How was filming modern family? -Do I look like Harry Truman? -You look like the kind of asian girl who overreacts and laughs hysterically to anything a white boy from cupertino says… my high school was full of them. Brings back memories of their screeches tearing through the hallway every recess -You got a runway as a forehead -Isn't it past your bed time young lady? -Is that your head or did your neck blow a bubble your hair looks like my dads and he’s bald I can smell you through the screen -"Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City ""sailor wanna hump, hump bar""?" -your nickname suits your looks -"What does the cat on the wall and you have in common? -People only gonna look at it once and avoid looking at it for the remainder of their lives." -"The scale only goes up to 10, rating yourself a 22 is way too pretentious. And you're a 4 at best." -Thank you for hiding the crooked chiclets you call teeth -"You must have been born on the highway, that's where most accidents happen" -Getting a planet for us -"Liking awkwafina is not a personality trait. Like, I get it. She's funny & kinda cool, but it helps to ACTUALLY have interests & be able to talk about other things besides *crazy rich Asians 2*. They'll actually call ya back!" -You sure you’re not 13? -SAME FACE -22??!?!?!!! DAMN I can't Imagine 40 then 💀 -You must smell like sushi down there huh -I will just blindfold you with dental floss so you can't read these mean comments -I can't tell if you're looking down or looking at the camera -Anna Akana on Before They Were Famous -"I'd like the egg drop soup and sweet & sour chicken, not cat, chicken. And I also don't want msg on the food. I'd also like a coca cola with the meal. Thanks." -I would have never guessed BC u look like ur in your 40's -"Yes I want an order of cheese wontons, thank you!" -Is that the bitchy kid off Modern Family? -comment -first 2 fingers are missing nails? verified finger blaster confirmed -Happy 36th birthday for the 14th time! -If Xanax was a person -You have the fashion sense of an Eastern European prisoner. -Generic Latina face always somehow looks 20 and 45 simultaneously -Not a bad looking prison cell -You have the eyes of a shark. -You look like you belong on a Zoloft commercial. I'm depressed just looking at you. -Id rather suck my own dick -"From the looks of that outfit, you probably smell like baby wipes, dirty hair, and stale box wine." -I used to shop at Dollar store. -55 comments in 5 hours? We care less about you than a catholic priest ever could -Your whole Personality is A yankee candle -"Vanilla is ""too spicy"" for you." -Black soulless eyes -What city do you try to convince people to join Scientology? -"You are white enough to not be exotic, but ethnic enough to be a statistic." -You look like you drive a minivan with a stick figure family on the back -Your 7 cats haven't already? -You are the white crayon. No one knows why you were included but might try you once for fun before losing you and not even remembering you existed. -I feel sorry for today. -Must be a lesbian since you have those two fingernails missing -The only thing giving you hot flashes is menopause -You look like you tell your date about all the STDs you have only afterwards. -You look like you've been shunned by the Amish community.... -Happy Birthday! It had to be a struggle putting pointy hats on all those cats for your ‘party’. -You don’t look a day over 36 -I thought the picture was taken from a hospital ward -"You keep breaking your fingure nails on the well wall. For God sake, rub the lotion on the skin." -When your dreams of queefing are shattered by 24/7 flatulence -You have a personality of a 94 yo nana -The economy Stepford Wife model. -Happy Birthday Girl! You look fantastic at 36 honestly! -A couple fingernails fell off during the last fisting session. -Wizards sleeve in worse shape than the sleeve on your sweater… -You look like the typical lesbian English teacher -"Happy bday. Over 35 now , no need to spend so much time getting ready in the morning." -You have hissed at people at the grocery store within the last week. -I hope someday that the doctors can help you walk again -"keeping two nails trimmed is awfully presumptuous, isn't it?" -Your nasty extensions almost look like real unwashed greasy hair! -"Can't tell where iris ends and pupil begins - - -Disturbing " -You look like you pee standing up because the of patriarchy -"Happy Birthday! I turned 36 this year too! My Internet is lagging, so I can't see your picture yet. Roast to follow!" -You look like a fister -"No thanks. - -I don’t want to see you naked." -"Ask for some hand-me-down makeup too, not just clothes." -What did your 6 kids give you for your big day? -I'm glad you got rid of the straight bangs. You looked terrible. -Your cat uses a lint brush after you pet it. -Happy Birthday -Wash your hair before you turn 37 please -Thanks for taking your mother’s advice and covering yourself up and wearing less makeup. You look like a modest young lady now. -"I hope you have a wonderful day, Own it, its yours to take!" -You look like you’d lie to men telling them your fallopian tubes are damaged but they’re in perfect working order. The you’d get pregnant. You’re that type of -You look like the type for girl that hates giving oral. -U need to get yourself some new clothes. -get any good color books? -Happy birthday 🥳 -New *It’s okay to give up* meme -Are you still selling bibles at the Bus Stop? -🥰 -"Not today, i have a headache." -Touch grass -I bet you glitch out once a day where you stare into space motionless for 30 minutes or more. -I hope you don’t feel as old as you look. I bet you rewrite trauma stories based on your peer group and/or social media platform. -36 wow you don't look a day over 45. -36 years of your parents regretting forgotten birth control. -You got them heroin eyes -Gender-reversed Jack White. *Jackie White*? -"If I may quote a hilarious joke from one of Dave Chappelle's stand-up specials.. ""there's no such thing as good 36 year old pussy.""" -Happy 40th!! If we’re being honest -You are a ziplock bag full of mayonnaise in a warm minivan. -"Idk, you give me hot mom vibes. But not in the good way, like on the news way. Flirting with teens way." -"the ""natural look"" isn't really working for you but I can't imagine make-up making it any better. Happy birthday!" -Happy birthday 🎂 -"Came to roast but 😝 -You look very hot for your age 😅 -Happy birthday grandma 🥳" -"You look sweet, but, dangerous sweet. Happy Birthday!!" -"This is your pharmacist, your prescription for cymbalta is ready." -The M2F transition is going well… a few more years on hormones and you might just pull it off. -She stays looking this young by having sex with her students. A virgin teen a week keeps the Botox away. -"Happy birthday, and still single, guess you're great at blowing.... Out candles." -Eva Longoria from Temu -"You look like a Disney princess, if they'd been kicked into a wellness program on a court order." -alright which guard did you suck off to let you out of the rehab center for seniors again?? we talked about this gramma. -Happy birthday! Now back to the basement you go. -your over thirty and not fat so how many kids do you have 4 or 5? -It's your birthday and the only attention you can get is by begging for some on this sub. -When asked to describe her looks… she looks like Beige -36 years of being alive! Wish I could say the same for your eyes -Your birthday present was a hotel room? Or is that just where you became conscious? -There's nothing I can say that will hold as much weight as your under eye skin. -Beige -"You look like you used to be cute in high school but in two years, the guys at the reunion will be sorely disappointed" -"Take the plastic off your old face, it makes you look like your 20" -"That half forced smile screams, ""daddy, some day you will regret leaving me and mom"". That day is not today though." -"Your crazy eyes scream Narcissistic . -Wtf is going on with your dirty ass nails ?? -Your fat ass cheeks you look like a white dj akademiks" -How many more birthdays are you going to tell yourself there’s still time to find a man and have a child? -Little caffeine addict -Happy birthday! -I hope you asked for makeup for your birthday. -Please move the roast sign to cover your mug so I can see the more attractive ones hanging behind you. BTW happy birthday! -Probably the only girl that posted here that look ten years younger than the age she said she is ... -Congratulations. You were pushed out of someone’s vagina 36 years ago. -Happy Birthday-Day Mom -Usually acne issues stop by the late teens -"You look a decade younger than your age.... - -Oh wait i thought i read that to be 56. My bad." -You’re about as interesting as a glue stick and probably smell the same -Holy Fuck! Were you born near a nuclear waste dump? There are mummies who look younger than you. -"I'd say you remind me of trash, wearing rags and just heaped on the floor, but then I'd be lying because at least trash gets picked up." -What's going on with your eyebrows? It looks like you started trimming them but then changed your mind after starting the right one. -Marni your Wingnut girl -Time for a cat. -"2 kids but no ring, guess the hit it and quit it is strong with this one" -Fiona Apple called to say Vanilla Ice wants his eyebrows back young lady. -Happy birthday to you! -Experienced std collector -Hard pass. -"Whoops, looks like you got the numbers backwards, grandma." -"Happy birthday, you aged like milk." -"36, more like 46, holy Christ" -You wouldn't even make it as a volunteer fluffer on the set of a porn. -"Happy birthday and congratulations on winning, 2024's The Most Placid Looking & Boring Bitch Award. - Sponsored by Benzos." - Which body part is hurting now because of the pre-celebration of the upcoming birthday last night? :) -Happy Birthday! How’s it feel to be three years old now? -You are the poor man’s girl next door. Happy birthday. -Old fuck -"Life peaked in your days as a barista, didn’t it? - -P.S. Happy Birthday!" -"Pass, you aren't worth it. I do hope you have a shitty day though." -"Who does a fit check with their baby. That's just wrong. Your kid or kids are not Fashion accessories. - -Happy Birthday" -Most likely still single sipping her whine scattering to find reasons why it was the best choice of her life -"I see you chose a trip to goodwill as your ""make a wish"" for your stage 4 ugly diagnosis" -You look 26 happy birthday -Mary Louise Parker shops at Annie Sez.. -u look like the kind of 36 yearold that would post on reddit roast me 💀 -I wish you looked more like Caitlin Clark! -Tired mom look but I bet you don't have any kids. -Can we see the rest of that forehead lmao -If used condoms have a face -Must suck to know you have completed your first decade past your expiration date. -Must suck to know that you've completed your first decade past your expiration date. -I bet u plucked your eyebrows before taking the pic -"Shawty looks like she retired at the homeless shelter, she smilin so hard after her exhibition match with all the biggest black guys in porn" -Where yo’ tiddies? -The Wall 🧱 for ever undefeated! -Happy Birthday! 🎉🎂🎁🎈🎊 -Was this the first pic after the transition? -"Damn, you're 36 and you don't have a job?!?" -Happy 14th -Happy Birthday -HBD. Or is it simply VD? -"No ring at 36, means you’ll have no ring at 46, 56, 66, etc…" -nuhuh -"Yay, you survived another trip around the Sun." -There's no way you're 36... In fact I'd feel like a pervert even after checking your ID's to confirm if we got down and busy. -Happy birthday -Husband -Husband -You look like you slept in just to miss your own birthday. Happy birthday! -Multiply your age by itself and that doesn't even come close to the amount of loads you have taken. -"You let him hit it raw, -You didn't have second thoughts..." -"You're like UHT milk, doesn't go off with age but tastes like shit." -Ah... 36 that magic number where gravity starts winning the battle. Congrats ! -Roast me or Fist me? Im confused -36??? You sure? You 👀 96 -Happy 46th Birthday! -"Happy Birthday! You over halfway to being 70 yrs old! Don’t worry, 50 will approach you faster than your youth dying out." -Chancla Level: Expert -Impossible to roast you when you’re even whooping father time’s ass. You look 20 -"If your hair were any oilier Biden would send in the 101st Airborne Division to secure it. - -Normally they would send in the Marines because Marines are who you send when you need something dead, broken, or pregnant and when they saw the picture of the target they said ""hard pass""." -Happy -"I'm getting a strong whiff of Andrea Yates, with overtones of Alex from fatal attraction and that little girl from the exorcist from this chick." -So sad when someone feels the need to ask for congratulations. -Is this a picture taken while laying on your psychiatrist's couch? -"A woman is born with around 1 million eggs in the follicles of her womb (known as the primordial state), which do not become viable until she starts menstruating, when the eggs are released at around 11-14 years of age. At menstruation, the number of eggs is around 300-400,000. A woman’s optimum fertility window is between the age of 18-31 years of age." -"Take better care of yourself, you don't look bad, but at this pace with those sweats you'll be looking homeless by 40. Nobody likes a 40-year-old homeless." -Fu -"""Ask your doctor if Prozac is right for you""" -hopefully the chemo works and you make it to 37 -Expired. -"Isn't the saying ""depression doesn't have a face"", well that's officially out the window." -Little old for birthdays aren't we dear? -"Happy Birthday! And yeah you look like you like it rough… and I’m not talking about sweaty hair pulling intercourse… you look like you can’t wait for your patriarchal partner to keep you barefoot and pregnant cleaning the house taking advantage of your wholesome mom look. - -Living your best, ”Trad wife is a rad life,” mentality." -Happy Birthday Dinosaur -happy birthday -You look great for 36 -what’s the going rate for a prostate massage? -"Happy Birthday, you should be in the kitchen but you really need to sweep the floor first" -Your face looks kind. -36 failed suicides. -Expired -"I'm sure you are very happy that you are being released from the Mental Health facility that you have been at the past month... - -No one else is happy about it though." -"oh now i see why yall wear so much makeup, paper bag would be best i think" -Happy birthday! -Happy Birthday you magnificent primate -36 what? -"Looks like somebody still has their fake ID, get back to doing your homework hon" -Wow.. you found the fountain of Youth -No -You look amazing for 36 -Happy birthday. You are one year closer to your inevitable demise -How's rehab going? -"Old maid years are creeping up, and we can already tell." -That's the look of someone who has dead bodies stashed in her house and acts like she doesn't understand when people start complaining about the smell. -Happy Birthday -Your bare exposed under floor boards say it all. -Your mother told your boyfriend he could do better. -You don’t look a day over 12 -Happy Birthday! 🥳 Hope you get to kick your feet up......maybe shoot of a few fireworks.....why? Because it's your birthday! -"""Hey Uncle Dave, Happy FUCKIN' birthday."" \*fucking blows up\* - The Postal Dude" -"You're the personification of post nut clarity after creaming your sisters pussy. Basically, might as well jump off the closest high building. - -(Don't actually, happy birthday)" -Happy birthday -Not going to Roast you . Not enough info. But you are very pretty without makeup. -Happy birthday -have a nice life oh wait you don't have one -No -Happy Birthday 🥳 -Happy birthday -Any more face peels & you'll look like voldermort. -You use these 2 fingers without nails to pleasure yourself ? -Happy birthday prettier than me -36 and doing roast me. Happy birthday -How can you look this boring? -Happy birthday. It's all downhill from here. -Jesus you look like shit for 36. Usually lipstick lesbians put in some effort but you.. I can spot the bush through those “I give up” sweatpants -You look like you would be hot if your shaved your armpits and stopped making your own deodorant. -Happy birthday!…..now FUCK OFF!! -happy birthday 🥳 we all see you tryna cut out that forehead -Happy birthday day. You don’t look a day over 50! -"Are you sure you and this guy didn't trade ages just for the roast me page? -https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/nH6gtkTvsc" -Happy birthday! Btw u look like a very run-over-able GTA 5 npc -U look like a backrooms entity -"ok, H B." -#NO -Having sex with you is like buying a puppy; emotionally attached and follows wherever you go. -Flat AF -Happy birthday! -"Deja de comer tu manga, amiga." -It’s like Dracula figured out how to completely drain his victims of blood and personality at the same time. -"Human Kleenex. Jerk off, blow your nose, just make sure she ends up in the trash where she belongs." -You have crazy eyes -"Cool, one year closer to death" -I refuse to roast a stupid idiot. It’s not fair play. -The relationship would seem pretty decent until you built up a tolerance to your mood stabilizers -"How’s the Overlook, Mrs. Torrance?" -YOURE 36? Good lord you look good. I’m 36 and look like a dented mailbox -Birth or hatch? -Chunky peanut butter on saltines is your go to snack -Happy Birthday you. 😁 -Still look like a 20 yrs old Babyface 😁👑👍🏻 -You look like the Mary Louise Parker if she gave up on life -Happy mistake day -Baby shark do do do do 🎶 -No. -You are quite cute for an old person -I hope you enjoy your expiration date. -Is that your biological clock ticking? -Happy birthday 😁 -Bootleg liv tyler -U look like the type of woman that would call all ur ex's just to remind them that it's ur birthday -You look like you never came back from Rumspringa -U look like Cher’s autistic daughter -More birthday days to come -If plain ass white Wonder Bread was a human being -"Happy fucking Birthday, ya regular ass human." -"Por el tamaño de las uñas indice y anular, yo diría que lleva tiempo sin pareja..." -"No, i dont think i will 😤" -36 and already halfway to Stephen Hawking. -That's 36 miles of bad road. -How do Mennonites celebrate birthdays? -If discount Nyquil was a person.... -"""Does she look tired to you?"" - -- The Doctor" -"Ready for the Walk of Shame, ey?" -No. -You look like you’re in the middle of the 46th time a married man has said he’s leaving his wife for you. -surprised your face is visible when its usually buried half way in the pillow on most freeview porn channels. -This is embarrassing -Happy birthday… So are you still single & DAYUM AT YO BROWS!!!!!!! -Happy deathday from r/RoastMe! -No -"Cute. Your standards are about 20,000 leagues out of your reach there Nemo." -36 and stopped developing at 12 💀 -"Happy birthday! This looks like a potential scene for Taken 4. -I would’ve pegged you as right handed, tho" -you already hit the wall and crashed just like Dale Earnhardt -"Wearing no pants, the most wrinkly pussy I've ever seen...." -I hope you have more birthdays -I bet you’re just as boney as your ancestors were. -Don’t tell me what to do. -Hey! You look young for 36. -Happy birthday. You look like you’re 21 -Happy birthday u sorete de caca -You would we would roast you ! -HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂 -HBD -Buy yourself a new marker. It’s your day! -Happy birthday girl! Hope you get the Valtrex Rx you wished for! 😊 -I wish your cats good luck because you'll probably spend most of the day drinking and crying to Taylor Swift songs. -Happy birthday mines was last Friday and I made 35 Taurus girls -grandma is that you? -Happy birthday -Crappy Hurtday 🖕. -"You've aged well, however those eyebrows are hanging on for dear life, plus everything behind you feels like stuff my grandparents would buy" -Expired. -"You turned 36, and that thing on your nose turned 3." -You aint 36 lady -No -Your jacket sleeve is like your love life. -Gonna still be carded when you're 40. -"When your husband left you, was it because you were boring in bed or just boring, in general?" -"You need a much crappier camera. Looks too good. You’re one of the better 36ers on here. Let’s hope that is the real number. It they said, get off all social and conquer the world. Reddit is not a seemly place." -50 Shades Of Beige -Wow! 36? Ya look great tbh. -Happy 46th bday. -Is that a store in the background? Still didn´t give up searching for your dad? Definitely not blaming him -No happy birthday soup for youuu’ come back 1 month!!! -Happy suck my cock. -"Why are you wearing a sack with a hole in it? -Happy Birthday" -Happy birthday -They let you use Reddit from Jail? Or did you just keep the clothes when you got out? -You’re not my supervisor -You’ve been telling people you’re 36 for the past 10 years -Too cute! -"man i've seen some dead and souless eyes, but damn these win. - -you just look so numb, broken, and pilled out" -She looks like a vabber. -Happy Birthday:) -Happy birthday -Happy birthday and your 10 in my books -Happy cancer patient look alike day -Her index and middle finger nails are gone she likes one in the moon and two in the poon !! -You say 36 those bags under your eyes say 40 -"Happy birthday… - - -I’d roast you, but you ain’t worth the time." -"The fact that one of the comments here says, and I quote - -“When your dreams of queefing are shattered by 24/7 flatulence” - -And it has 8 upvotes. Why are you subjecting yourself to this, ma’am. You’re a fantastic looking young woman. The only insult I could possibly give you is that you need to SERIOUSLY work on your self esteem and value yourself" -"You are 36 with the dating options of a 63 year old. -Your hair will turn gray before you turn into a wife." -"Wow so pretty even without makeup.nothing wrong with you love.all the guys roasting these pretty girls would love to date them tho....,or gay.woman you are hot you don't belong here I'm afraid you're gonna have to leave sorry you get no refund." -If only a belated wish could hold the age back -Nancy Botwin would like to speak with the manager. -"YOU LOOKE 16. HAPPY B-DAY. - - -ONLY PLACE YOU'LL FIND A DATE IS ON REDDIT - ROASTME. - - -36 AND YOU STILL DON'T' HAVE A SENSE OF STYLE. - - -DO YOUR HAIR! - - -...I can only come up wit complements. - - -You have such nice skin complex. How many facials do you take a day? Or are you swallowing your vatimens? - - -You have perfect eyebrows. - - -IS YOUR SWEATER 36YRS OLD TOO?" -"""...Y’know, the thing about a shark..."" ""got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes...""" -I'm glad to see the melted couch weed psa girl is doing well. -Congrats! You don’t look a day over 40 -Jesus love you bro -Super average but I know u think ure pretty. Long face -Happy belated birthday 🎂 🥳 -No...boom roasted. -"Happy 36th girl, you look fantastic" -Less interesting than the old box of baking soda in the back of my fridge -you look like the average highschool health sciences teacher. -HBD! -If Adderall was a person... -"36??? Happy Birthday -I would of wished you happy 50th if I didn’t know your age" -Happy birthday. -You look like you get triggered at the sight of a manly man. -She looks like Zendaya but sick -You look like you bitch about your kids on reddit -Look I’m wearing my new sexy birthday outfit -Happy birthday! -Your birthday could have been a day worth celebrating if your parents used condom. -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -You look like if a victorian ghost haunted a thrift store. -Nobody has roasted you for the same reason nobody has a strong opinion about the color beige. -"IRL, roasting usually comes from family and friends who care about you. - -Which explains why you've never been roasted." -You look like David Schwimmer in drag as Andie MacDowell -"When your professor gets you pregnant, he's not gonna leave his wife 🤷‍♂️" -In some countries it is considered polite for women to have breasts. -Jaundice Joplin -"By your looks, there’s plenty of things that haven’t been done to you" -You probably have a vibrator shaped like Ellen Degeneres' fist. -You are strikingly average and mundane -"You order the most annoying shit on the menu every time without fail, but you smile like a naïve dickhead while you're doing it." -You look like Seinfeld with worse hair. -"Oh girl. - -That Squidward face bout to get you fucked up." -I thought Screech died. -Can't tell if you're an Israeli or a ghost of a woman who died from the Spanish American flu -"Roses are red, - -your hair looks black, - -why is your chest - -as flat as your back?" -When you're so average looking you can travel anywhere and not have to worry about getting kidnapped because nobody wants you -"You’re so basic, this is a real challenge. The only thing that stands out about you is the dumbass nose piercing you morons are getting these days. Other than that you just fade into obscurity. You reek of boring, used book stores, and HPV." -"Jesus Christ, you look so Jewish, I'm 100% convinced your ancestors have been roasted enough to last you and your kids." -"I’m such a free spirit, I hang upside down from a tree and eat soup out of a melon by the water. - -Get an actual personality." -Carpenter’s dream -You look like a rejected contestant on RuPaul Drag Race that goes by Alan Morrisette. -Shit you know this one has an opinion about everything! -"Your male professors all refer to you as ""b-knobs"" behind your back." -International traveling sluts are fun until you get syphilis guys. -I bet even your blow jobs are ruthlessly efficient… -There is nothing to roast. You might as well be invisible. -Oh great. Another basic bitch who thinks she’s amazing. I bet you can’t have a 2 minute conversation without making it about yourself. -When you orgasm you make robot sounds like beep boop bop meep! -"Anorexic Morrisette....isn't it ironic, don't you think?" -AI generators when you ask for pictures of the “plainest white woman” -"She’s the type to brag about not wearing makeup, as if it makes her superior, meanwhile, in a few years, she’s going to look 45 and needs concealer more than air." -Never roasted? Then which uncle gave you those “I’m dead behind the eyes” look you got going on? -"Look guys, an edgy girl with tattoos and a nose ring... I've literally never seen this before" -"I can’t hear anything, tell your ears to stop being greedy" -"I don’t know how you posted this from Lilith Fair ‘94, but to that I say, we all know you’ve got a CD of Gregorian Chants, and it’s for the wrong reason." -"Militant vegan that runs into Steak Restaurants screaming ""Murder!""" -You look like you're going to write an angry pop song about how Dave Coulier screwed you over and dumped you -Yet another one with a giant bush… -25 yrs old but looks and acts like a 40+ divorcee who’s been quietly acquiring local cats. -I’ve never seen such a perfect practice girl. -Sandra Noluck -You look like one of the Israelis that didn’t make it. -"When I looked at the photos, a phrase showed up in my mind “she likes marshmallows.” " -You are definitely the friend that the group would eat first -I keep trying to roast but as soon as your pics disappear I forget what you look like -So you decided on the ‘roast me’ thread instead of the ‘am I pretty thread’ because you are too ugly for that and just not ugly enough that the roasts will be that bad. Good choice -"Among flat-earthers, your chest would be hailed as the ultimate metric of perfect flatness." -That face is all nose and forehead..... what a horrible mashup of genetics -"If ""unenthusiastic handjob"" had a face." -Your hair looks like it hates you.  -You look like Kristen Stewart if she were lobotomized and lost what little personality she had. -You sucked your first dick at 13. -"You look like the girl next door I wanted to date, then one day I saw her without makeup and said to myself I’m not man enough for that." -Thought this was a dude in a bikini at first -You look annoying as fuck -You're so boring that even with a photographer you don't stand out from the background -Your tinder bio has “live laugh love” stated somewhere. -Alanis Moreupset... by Temu -"Great collection of pics. You're going to have a lot of pictures alone in your life, so might as well get to work, right?" -"You're a servers/waiters worst nightmare... Most likely an annoying dinner customer who probably asks all about any soy/gluten/nuts/carbs, artificial sweeteners in her meal, who requests special mods every time you order, who asks if your livestock were happy animals before being butchered for your & who will make a scene having no prob pulling the ""Well I know the manager here"" card anytime it's convenient..." -My left nut weighs more then you -Of course no one roasts you. People generally dont want to be haunted by a ghost. -You look like you smell like Nag Champa -"See, Hollywood was wrong all along, skinny doesn't always mean attractive" -You look like you smell like patchouli and a UTI -You’re a 91 Subaru Outback -Hey ! At least you're not German ! -You look like someone typed “Ross from Friends with long hair” and this is what AI came up with -You look like a ghost from the 1800’s that no one notices anymore. -You look like your pores secrete SPF 150 -Her Jewish law firm daddy loves her and runs her trust fund -You could carry your groceries in with those bags under your eyes -There is a very thin line between beauty and ugly and you tread it like a tightrope. -You look like you send back food at restaurants. -In the last pic you look like you left your family to discover yourself and ended up in an abusive relationship with a foreign man that has no money and he took your passport. -"10k teeth, buffed nails, and still go out of your way to piss your dad off with ugly tattoos and a smelly demeanor." -"You look like Ann Frank, if she was utterly abhorrent and dripping with banality" -You look like you haven't been released by Hamas yet -"It’s like someone tried to draw a woman, and didn’t really know what a woman looks like." -Unfortunate that the most exciting thing about you is that we are roasting you. -"So, there was a game for PCs once, that was so bad that people played it just to see how bad it is. - -When the reviews came in, they were full of hate for it, saying it's the worst spent money possible. - -A while later, there was a game that was so incredibly good that people raved about it, said that not buying it was akin to self flagellation. - -You sit somewhere in the middle. - -Not hate, not proselytism, but at best, dispassionate ridicule. In a contest of the most average people, you'd end up right in the middle of it." -I kinda think these pics are AI. 🤖 -If you were born 100 years ago you would have been roasted by the Germans 💯 -Show me on the doll where Daddy touched you -"I can see you are a weak person, so I won’t be too harsh on the sallow faced, deer in the headlights, clueless anchovy that you are. - -Mommy and daddy cannot fix things forever. Maybe some of these roasts can loosen your grip on the teat of this aimless easy thing you call life." -you look like you're being held together with a drug or two at all times.... -You look like a weathered picture from the 80’s -Your chest is flatter than my hopes and dreams -Your toes look like sausage hors-douvres -you notice how everyone on the beach moves away from her? -You look like the illegitimate love child of Mike and El from Stranger Things. -If excitedly discussing street food were a person that looks like a boy. -Why does It looks like you're always crying -The founder of gluten free yoga has entered the chat...... -"Nobody hates a life size wax figure, but whoever took you out from Madam Tussauds needs to take you back." -Tattoo reads: Doyle’s lumber yard - milling planks since 1877 -This is actually very dangerous. You can just stop taking the hormones mid transition.  -"Ah the simple things in life, like getting a stranger to take seventeen photos of you eating a watermelon so you can show off your self-centres satisfaction about how great your life is. No one cares and that guy still talks about how you ruined his day at the beach." -If a 70’s porn bush was a person -"If lesbian needed a picture in the English dictionary, this is what I'd use." -"A body that could stop a truck, and a face that apparently had ." -Get some sleep before your eyes close down fr -You look like an anthropomorphic Klondike bar with a wig. -"I see you in a bikini and don\`t feel anything. -Thank you" -You have a subscription to the romance novel of the week club. -Two facts you should know: you are too beautiful to be roasted and no one ever lies on the internet. -"Are you sure you never have been roasted, looks like you get split roasted all of the time." -"If someone told me you were the drummer for an 80's new wave band, I would legitimately believe them." -"Well, you're not bad looking, even without makeup. You have a nice enough figure, not too many ugly tattoos.... - -You must have an absolutely *hideous* personality!" -More Bush than Texas and Florida -"When people see you, they better not say Beetlejuice 3 times…" -Looks like she trust on feminism but the onky way she acts is submitted to men -"Wants to be unique, so you get tattoos and a nose ring as if 3 billion white women on the planet don't already have the exact same thing." -No tits. You should be banished to the Isle of Misfit Boys -What fucking psychopath eats a goddamn watermelon with a spoon? -"Like the top slice of bread, everyone has touched you, nobody wants you." -"I think being a werewolf in the second movie suited you better, but it really wasn't the same without Ginger." -A glass of room temperature water is less plain than you. -You won’t need embalming fluid when you die. -You look like your stuck in the 1940s -Nice to see a French prostitute frolick on her day off. -"You're so fucked up, even your shadow needs therapy." -You are not fooling me. I know a psycho when I see one. -It's really amazing to see Gas Chamber Survivors -Hope you just visited Berlin and not living here… -I bet going down on you is like eating sushi off the barber shop floor. -You're definitely more GoFundMe than OnlyFans. -"After reading your title, I'm guessing no one ever wanted to be your friend." -Didn’t know Mona Lisa got into rehab after not getting the money -"Picture #4 explains everything. You fell out of the ugly tree and your face hit every branch on the way down and then it hit a rock at the bottom of the tree. - -Your last picture looks like it is the first time you eaten in weeks. I bet starving children in Africa donate food to you." -"After this comment I'll forget about you, just like everyone else." -She has to Brazilian wax her entire body once a day. -Eat pray loving on your daddy’s credit card -Cut your hair and you can be a stunt double for Ross on friends. -You have that kind of body and dress like you do….why bitch? -"if you think you're levitating, think again. you just have your head up your ass." -Pretty sure that bikini top is unnecessary. People will just assume you’re a 10 year old boy in a speedo. -"Carpenters dream, flat as a board, and never been nailed." -You've got so much white guilt on you that you proudly boasts you only fuck minorities. Newsflash: we don't want you either. -Your eyes are sadder than a concentration camp birthday party. -Stage 4 queefer for sure -Did you blur your tattoo so that people wouldn't recognize you on the internet? -Looks like she seeks out Situationships. -Getting a granola vibe from the pics. May be wrong but my gut says if we spoke for a few minutes I’d walk away very disappointed. -You are the epitome of the fallback option -"Hanging in that tree, you look like the third generation to be walking upright." -idk why but i think i need to huff glue before i could interact with you. -This is why you need to pay more than $10 for a tattoo -You look like the most un-enthusiastic handjob ever -"Trying a too hard in Pic #4. Don’t do stupid shit for a photo. It’s unattractive and desperate. - -That said, I would definitely eat that watermelon in Pic #8." -Your surfboard emo self has been roasted. You look like your father left before conception. -"Alanis Morrrisette would like you to stop using her images, but You Otta Know..." -"I'm confused, isn't it your boyfriends who normally eat watermelon?" -You look like an AI-generated ethnically ambiguous woman. -You look French. -You look like a male protagonist's dead wife and many of the pictures look like screenshots from the dramatic flashback showing how amazing the marriage was and that he's devastated and that's why he's doing what he's doing -"I don’t know when Temu started making women, but they need to stop… - -You remind me of that demolished Gluten Free box of macaroni that everyone avoids for the sake of their own sanity. - -You’re so many shades of grey that even your surroundings somehow fall victim to your dreadful appearance. - -You’re so bland that not even RuPaul can season your ass. - -There’s a tree out there which sole purpose is to provide you oxygen. Find it and apologize to it for every cringey ass post you’ve ever made about being “demure” because you strike me as just the right amount of annoying to commit such atrocities to mankind.☠️" -You’re that one girl from that show that got cancelled after the first episode and now so many people have turned it into a cultural icon that it’s memory has given way to urban legend since the producers had all copies burned to prevent any lawsuits from people who wanted to pretend to do the thing that girl did and eventually died. -"You look like one of those people you find in a cult. Years later you will be on a Netflix documentary talking about how they gave you a place to belong and a sense of purpose, from jail after you murdered a celebrity for them." -"You look like you wear your mom's hand me down clothes from the 90's and you copy her hair style, too." -You look like you fake orgasm even when you masturbate. -You look like the start of every character build I've ever had. I'm gonna call you Template Woman 1 -"You look mentally unwell, but that’s ok, there’s help out there." -You look like you work the day shift at a gentleman’s club. -You look like you keep a poetry journal. -Like a young Temu Cher -You look like you have the personality of a painting from ross -You’re too bland to hate. -"On the plus side, can get ready for a date in less than a minute. On the minus side, unenthusiastic handjobs while watching yet another indie film about teen girls coming of age." -If you're gonna be like every other Rich White Girl on a gap year going to Tourist locations barely disguised as adventure and a way to embrace other cultures. Then there is nothing to roast. The well has run dry on that -"You're not an F, you're a dude with long hair. Where yo tits" -Do you even weigh 100 pounds -Edward scissor hands the wonder years -"Awe you tried so hard to look attractive as possible. Lots of pictures, filters, aesthetic, etc. Shame your ugly ❤️" -Are you like the only person that took a picture in park guell in the wrong direction? -What’s this jibber jabber on your leg? I highly doubt you haven’t been roasted. -ManChester by the sea -"Don't worry, your Jewish ancestors have been roasted sufficiently" -"Your forehead is expanding to search for it's own ""lebensraum""." -Bucket hats=dyke -It's okay for men to be in touch with their feminine side. We won't roast you for it -Pic #7 looks like the guy from perfect strangers -It seems like a monkey from the zoo has escaped here -I wanted to roast you for your tits but couldn't find any. -When did Steve Buscemi get a sex change? -You look like a throwback -Lmaooo comments section be like guess I’ll just unleash my misogynia -" that tattoo, looksl7ike your pimps details" -You get roasted every day. They just say it behind your back so they don't laugh in your face -"You are quite attractive, and you appear to be charismatic. However I feel you would capture someone in your house against their will. Because, “If you can’t have them. Nobody will.”" -Anne Frankly you look like you have no personality. -No body roasted you becaue really everybody thought he got a shot -Imagine looking likeba dorm door and wanting to stand out -You have been. Just to naive of what was going on. -Edward Scissor Hands goes to the beach -you look like a slightly effeminate Davie504 -I expected to see a picture of you hanging from a tree but expected there to be a rope around your neck.  -If Mark Zuckerberg were to try and transition. Emphasis on the “try” -Temu Amélie. -Show more teeth bbgirl -Sounds like someone’s daddy wasn’t honest to her about being only a practice girl in the real world -If endometriosis were a person … -"No one. Even Maralin Monroe otherwise naked, looks good in a bucket hat. I share this to genuinely improve your life." -If vanilla ice cream were a person. -I cant believe you never got roasted while looking like on giant giraffe neck. -You are the TEMU version of Alanis Morrisette. Except you are more angry at yourself for having no personality whatsoever. -Definitely the weakest branch on the family tree. -8 pictures of a person who looks different and look the same. -"Ugly tattoos and ridiculous piercings. What a typical millen….. i mean wow, what a unique look you have. 😐" -Is that your face or did your neck throw up? -You look like the most exciting thing you’ve done in life is take a penny without ever leaving one. Just kidding you’re too scared to take the penny. -"❌ how it's gonna feel like -✔️ how it's gonna feel -✔️ what it's gonna feel like - -Dumbass!" -If Muesli was a person. -"If Leonardo da Vinci painted you the name of the painting would be ""Moaning Lisa""" -I love how you had to use graphing paper and everything has to be perfectly inside the lines -You look a lot like what Anne Frank would look like in today’s world. When I say that I mean you look like her after she has been dead for 80 years. -I was having a good day until I saw chronically depressed Andrea Riseborough. -Such a handsome young man. -"If depression had a picture, it would be #7." -You look like Edward scissor hands. That being said I would still plow -"I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes hey." -Is this Jerry Seinfeld's daughter? -"You are the most non-descript person I’ve ever seen. You would be a very successful thief, since you are so easily forgotten." -You look like an AI generated Shelley Duvall -"People who see your photos don't hate you. - -They just feel embarrassed for you." -"Don’t know how intelligent she is, but she Nose a lot." -I’m only assuming you’ve never REALLY been roasted because that would require somebody to ACTUALLY notice you. -"You’re so beautiful and I wanna kiss you. I mean, Uhmm, you have no tits err something" -You look like a gayer Timothy Chalamet. -Buttertits... -its giving organic casserole -"Id pretty much just toast ya, plenty of butter,some jam, & then leave ya on the bench g go get some kfc" -You look like your entire personality is built around not using soap -If oatmeal was a person. -You auditioned as a young Kim Kardashian for a Moldovan TV show. -You look like someone who just puts very low effort into everything. -Anthony Weiner's doppelganger -"Eyes say 1000 dick stare, face says adopted." -I didn't realise Steven Tyler was on Reddit. -"You think you're the main character, but you're an NPC" -"I think you are the next step in evolutionary process where eventually, there will only be one gender." -"You dip shits throw the word ""hate"" around so much it cheapens the word. Nobody here knows you or cares about you enough to ""hate"" you. - -Voluntarily coming on here to be roasted, but then trying to nail yourself up on the cross like a martyr of hate. Pathetic attention whoring. - -Also, you have definitely sucked dick for drugs." -You look like a typical young lady ready to be a single mom from Friedrichshain -"You are an unscented candle , bland , mid" -The Paul Pfeiffer is strong with this one -Get a haircut Mr. -"You’re 25, live a little bit more so we have material to roast you for" -On some of those pictures you look good for 35 year old.  -"Sorry, I fell asleep looking at your… ZZZzzzzzz….." -You could start a nonelyfans... -Bruh someone get their child lol -Never been really roasted? Do all the men ask you where the chick's with tits will come by? You must enjoy throwing away money on bikini tops and bras. You'll never need support -You look like you could be a great actress… for one of those anti-depressants and bipolar commercials 👍 -"Alex, I’ll take “Small Titty European Skanks” for $500." -"I'd say that branch is the only wood she's had between her thighs, but I'd be wrong." -Edward scissor hands looking ass -OP is the poster child for ‘conventionally nondescript’ - at last call there is probably a coin toss between whomever just wants to watch TV. -"Oh, you've been roasted lots of times. Just behind your back by all your ""friends""." -Hard to roast mid -"Yeh to be fair, I’d smash………………….. ………………………….you in the face with a lump hammer." -"""Loves to travel"" is a characteristic, not a base personality type." -"You haven't been roasted, or you were too stoned to remember being roasted" -Is that a pic of you or a pic of a porcelain doll of you? -You look like if Stuart and Howard from The Big Bang Theory had a kid but somehow the kid inherited all the anxiety and none of the IQ. -My Computer screen has better curves than her -You came straight out of the 90s with no makeup to eat watermelon with a spoon. -"You make ""beige Becky"" sound interesting." -"You're supposed to post pictures of you, not the stick bug meme." -Pic 7 looks like a failed tinder profile with the comment “unenthusiastic blowjobs”. -You merely exist. Boom roasted. -"I know a joke so funny it's going to make your tits fall off. Oh wait, you already heard it." -She climbs skinny trees and metro poles because she was rejected from every stripper job she applied for. -Default character -Nosebridge longer than olympic ski jumps -"All shoulders, no hips 🤮🏳️‍⚧️" -you look like your personality took a 4-hour siesta in the middle of the day -Hi…I try to go for the natural look but bought foundation at the mortuary to cover that huge zit on my cheek. I also use bacon grease as hair product…hence the zit…but at least my hoodie matches my face and in the right lighting my nose casts a long shadow so you won’t notice the zit -Get some sleep son. -You look like the daughter of Ellen Degenerous and the Gieco caveman -Great value version of Millie Bobby brown -You start crying right when the sex starts to get good. -You look like both the victim and murderer in a Netflix truecrime documentation. -The US Government is currently debating if it's worth the rest of your body to liberate your forehead from all that oil on your skin. -You look like a practice girl that you’re ashamed of afterwards. -How's the Van life? You know going to the beach does not count as bathing -"The nose ring is appropriate, since you look like a male oxen." -Diary of Anne Frankenstein -I’m not sure where your nose starts and your forehead ends. Holy shit that thing is a unit. -Im convinced they clone the same type of person when it comes to gen z. Bet you have a TikTok with atleast 50 draft videos😂 -Phillips called they want there iron back -"banging body! but except for the bikini shot, you dress like you are 57" -"You probably haven’t been roasted because there’s nothing to roast. You are the plainest, most forgettable person I have ever seen. Nobody wants to put energy into……. Nothing." -Why do all of your photos look like a kidnapper has photoshopped you into them to pretend you’re still alive? -You are the personification of beige underwear. And putting a metal ring in front of a beige underwear doesn't make it more interesting. -You look like your vagina smells like an abandoned turtle tank. -Alanis More Upset!!! -Looks like you could use a nice steak. -Seems like you have the same amount of personality as that tree you climbed -"I know you’re holding that fruit just for the photo, because there’s no way you actually eat anything. " -"Trust me, you've been roasted a million times behind your stupid back" -Nice wig. -Jerry seinfeld with a wig -You look like Bob Sagets trans daughter. The outfits you steal out of the clothing donation bins really tie everything in a nice bow. -Vegan tree climbing idiot. -"I didn’t know they started making “Smile” 3 -Can’t wait to see it" -Someone has to notice you to bully you. -"Guys don't avoid you because you're unattractive (which you are), it's because you believe tanning your cooch in the sun gives you mystical powers you stupid astrology-believing, no showering, non-vegan shaming, attention-seeking, femcel-ass bitch. - - -Okay I'm done." -The least exciting side character in any fantasy movie. -Taking anti-depressants to stay thin is never a healthy choice you know. -Kylo REN’s annoying little sister -somewhere between belatrix lestrange and the wife from the shining. -You look like Ray Romano -"She looks like Vincent Shiavelli in the movie ""Ghost"" with Patrick Swayzee. Vincent was the angry ghost in the subway." -"Remember kiddos, this is what your dogs will look like if you don’t feed them regularly." -What about that rats nest on her head? -It’s like if Ann Frank managed to survive but ended up with a boring stupid life and no prospects -OP is definitely confused about their sexuality. The rest of us know you’re a lesbian. -get ready to pay those increased tariffs exporting all that oil from your forehead and flat hard lumber that is your torso -In pic #1 she looks like she has two sets of eyelids. Wtf? -How many times a week are you mistaken for a boy? -You look like the temu version of a twilight character waiting for her sparkly vampire. (Look at her third picture for reference) -You were average in The Shining -You are dollar tree generic. Nothing about you stands out -You got that natural look to you -Your nose piercing indicates that u fell off the tree... really hard... on your head. -The only thing about you that isn't average is the size of your chest -"You think you look cute with that smile, that's a very unique thought." -My god. I always wondered who the fourth most annoying girl in my feminist literature class was. Here’s a chalice of almond milk for you -You look like a lesbian that doesn’t eat pussy because you’re vegan -Ahh the bull ring in the nose says “I have hairy armpits and my vag smells like tofu cus that’s all I eat.” -Please don’t steal my land sir -Wasting your parents money for art school somehow made you uglier -As interesting as a plate of scrambled eggs. -Can’t believe I had to scroll through 6 pictures before I saw a septum piercing -If your personality was a food it would be vegetable lasagna -Her lips look like she's wearing a snorkel mask. -"If someone told me you were Kenny G, I would believe it" -You look like you speak out against capitalism as you help your dad fix up a rental to fund your art school -She looks like she’s the man of the relationship -Just like a piece of paper. Straight up the front and straight down the back. -You could show two movies on that forehead -Do you have blood in your body? The most unhealthy bitch I’ve ever seen. Halloween type scary bitch. -Are those hash marks on you leg for all the different chicks with mullets that have been down there? -"You look like you're from the past, you should stay there." -"Pirates dream, sunken chest" -Trust me you've been roasted your brainless eyes make it clear you didn't understand -"#YOUR so FLAT -the walls are Jealous" -“Susceptible…to facts and hate” is hilarious. What a genuine dork. -Oh. You’re Trans Trans. -Modern day Ann frank lol 😂 -Uve never been roasted cause people genuinely feel sorry for you. Nice adams apple -"You really went all out with the ""au naturale look"" ey?" -You look like one of Dan Schneider's abused child stars. -Is this what they call a non-binary? -100% a rich white girl who has had everything handed to her but finds a way to cry about something every day -Are your bras doing okay? I imagine it's been hard being out of work this long. -You look like your personality is sadness. -You look like an autistic lesbian -You're part of the evolution line of Shelly Duval -You look like if a Colonial ghost turned Gen Z -Edward Scissor Hands love child…. -"If Howard Stern and Borat fucked and had a baby. A gayby if you will, you would be that gayby" -That tattoo on your leg looks just like your face.......... as if a little kid drew it -You look like Emily Perkin’s twin. Not a roast but an observation. -"By your skin tone… we all know you have not only never been roasted.. you never have been grilled, fried, tanned, or even cooked.." -More bland than vanilla -The Ghost of Thriftmas Past -I thought that was Edward scissor hands for a min! -You look easy to draw -One college course away from deciding she wants to be a man. -You look like a meth addicted hooker -You look like the sort of person that people say is beautiful on the outside and the inside but in your case it's the opposite your ugly on the outside and on the inside. -"IDK, I’m getting strong Steve Buscemi vibes." -"You look like a young, post-op Jerry Seinfeld." -"It's not that no one has roasted you, you're just used to it so it seems normal." -You have a Shelly Duvall vibe and not in a good way -Do you have a GoFundMe we could donate to for your treatment? -"You may never have been roasted, but that hair has been absolutely fried." -"That one righteous girl, who made the tatoo by doctor (letters are hardly recognisable)" -If beige was a person -Look like an Auchswitz prisoner -You'd be an Iranian 10 in the 1970's. -Dead girl walking -comment -You are 11 PM laundry mat pretty -"I bet you are prized for your ""personality.""" -"This is 90% how you get laid. ""Ohhhh, you did my sister, now do me!!!""" -Your near future looks like losing battles against gravity and carbs. -Are you certain YOU didn’t devour your sister? -My tits are the only thing I have going on my life - OP -Are those freckles or dick prints? -"You’re like fried chicken, after you’re done with the breasts the thighs all you have left is a greasy box to throw your bone into" -Your makeup lies harder than the pictures on a Taco Bell menu -Bet you sound like Fran Drescher. -"Yes, we see your tits, honey. You don’t always have to be pointing at them. They are hard to miss." -A police sketch of you would look like a pooch posing behind a pair of beachballs -The “girl” who tries to subtly show she has big knockers to hide the fact she’s really the current Fat Joe w/ a wig on -Meagan Thee Donkey -Bet those nipples are the size of pancakes. Both different colors and off center. -You’re one meal away from being that fat chick who also happens to have big knockers. -You look like your favorite color is semen -I feel bad for whoever had to tattoo your upper thigh. They must have been gagging from the stench of dead fish. -Didn't know OF had a clearance section til you came along -You’ve given head in a lot of public places -"Well clearly you ate your sister, so are we starting fresh or do the roasts on her count? 🤔" -You are well within my league -_- like if rock bottom had a basement you'd be in it .... like the only thing darker then your future is your roots -You look 25 and 45 years old at the same time -"""Oops. Did I accidentally make sure my chest was visible in ANOTHER pic?""" -hmmm anal all day -"You'll make a great dumpster for some rich old man's spunk. Hope you like wrinkly, saggy balls." -"Them titties need a kickstand, they’re hangin low little lady." -You look like my grandma trying to look young if she had the bloat! -Maya Booed-Off. -Beautiful pictures but your tits are obscuring the background settings. -Good luck on RuPauls drag race -Looks like you floated across the Rio grande. -Your feet look like they come from an orangutan -you look like you live in a walk up apartment development in central jersey -Another delusional 5/10 -Looks like the only things you devour are Twinkies and dicks. -You got that WIDE BACK -Torta in training -You look like the Latina chick who can’t speak Spanish and fucks only black dudes who don’t pull out -Please PM me a titty pic so I can examine them before doing a proper roast. -"Your teeth have freckles. - -Also looks like your ministrating all over your leg." -Smart to go ahead and start selling feet pics…. Before those udders sag to the floor -You look like every other woman who says “You’ll never find a woman like me” -You look like you have had more balls bounce off your forehead than a drunk soccer goalie. -Lose some weight and clear up your skin… you could be a decent practice girl -You were a load-bearing cheerleader weren't you? -Your feet pics got more upvotes than your profile pics. -Your spirit animal is chlamydia -"You look like the typical fat Mexican torta from SoCal with a Nissan Altima, two baby daddies, and a minimum wage job 😂" -Pronouns are fe/fi/fo/fum -"I can smell the OF comments from a mile away... - -Never said they'd be wrong btw" -Good thing your tits are such a good landing spot cuz dudes can get sent to child protective services for spraying their kids on a face that beat -is it just me or does nobody else notice the craters in her teeth??? Last Pic 💀💀 -She thinks she’s a 10 when she’s a Texas 2 🤣🤣💀💀💀 -SHE HAS FOUR POSTS AND TWO ARE ON FOOT FETISH SUBS -"I'm not saying you're a slut, but if your vagina had a login, it'd be ""admin/admin""" -Thotimus prime -Good to see there’s no shortage of floppy titted Mexicans in AZ -The physical manifestation of Dyslexia. -The gap between your tits matches the gap between your eyes -You’re a pretty chunky broad…not sure if we can devour you. -You look like you wore goggles to a fart porn orgy -You have pig tits and pug face -"Shouldn't this be in r/whybrows? Great job with the magic marker, really nailed it with the wide tip." -"Looks like you text guys and say ""I need money to pay my phone bill lol""" -"face doesn’t cut it, so you resort to feet pics" -I thot this sub was for roasting actual people not advertising generic OF models? -Bimbo Saggins -Meh/10 -Shaped like SpongeBob -We probably can't fuck you harder than life did -You look like a Temu Sofia Vergara. -"It’s like they say, if you want to make 5 (in your case 10) extra pounds of fat look attractive, put a nipple on it." -a midwest 6.5 and thats being generous. -Tell me the only thing going for you is your tits without telling me the only thing you have going for you is your tits. -Another OilyFans model wannabe with cumbrellas for eyelashes. Your best trait is putting ankles to ears. -Better hope Trumps boys don’t send you back… -You look like a torta in training -If we sold you on late night tv the marketing pitch would be “sure it doesn’t look like much and the smell is something to adjust to… *but* …it can be used a floatation device in emergency situations.” -You look like FouseyTube with a wig and some implants -"Mirror -Mirror on the wall , who is this piggy who works at a mall" -Are those drawn on freckles supposed to distract us from your cold droopy tits and hamburger patty nipples? -Your eyebrows look like they still listen to the pet shop boys -"Is that a tattoo or did she forget to shave again? She tried to get backstage and never made it past the roadie, he sent her to the upper level." -"You have the dazed, lost look like a girl with a case of anal herpes." -Oh. Yet another jealous skank of a sister. Seen your type. 😒 your follow up post to hers looks like your future effort to monopolize it all and get the bulk of the will. Nice try. -Your favorite pick up line is probably “you’ll do” -You look like an all teeth no throat kind of gal -You probably have to buy men drinks at the bar -Found the Temu trophy wife… -Only thing faker than those lashes is your smile hiding all the pain and shame -Can't tell if those cavities in your tooth are a semi-colon or the number 69... -"Your dad called, he wants his shoulders back." -You look really sticky. -u look like u always had a boyfriend and you put him before ur friends -So you’re the brother? -You think putting someone on child support is ‘making money moves’ -Looks like you use ur (.)(.) to get the dudes with $. Eventually you’ll have 4 baby daddies with 5 kids and use their child support to pay for ur nails and new Lincoln Navigator -You better lock down a man now while you're still on the cusp of obesity. In two years you'll be a land whale. -your a 5 that thinks she's a 9 -No amount of pokies will make you not look “only hot when drunk” -What's that shit on your tooth -Sephora and target shopping with tons of idiotic laughter because you’re so high on your own serotonin all day it’s made you dumb and immature. Thousand percent. -Did you pierce your tooth? -If I have nothing to offer was a person -Definitely a hotdog down a hallway. -Looks like you also devoured your sister -"OF is her entire personality, a failed OF at that" -You have MASSIVE tits..... That's about all you have. -That concert picture must be from the ERRORS tour…cuz you’re a fucking mistake. -Hey if I give you your green card and make you my wifey you make me some adobo? -"She doesn't have an OnlyFans, she has a OnlyTetas" -Enjoy it now. It's all about to go downhill faster than an Olympian skiier. -You definitely have 2-5 baby daddies -"How's your boyfriend, Dog the Bounty Hunter doin?" -"Christ, you look just how I feel" -Curvy Spice -"Uh oh someone has had a mid 2000’s Tahoe towed for not paying their car note :( Focus on those 3 kids without a papi instead of trying to give your Applebees date head 3hrs after meeting them, hun." -You look like someone who smells really bad on a hot summer day. -It’s like J-Lo if she were trans. -Thighs rubbed together before the idiotic I’m an idiot tattoo. -"Not all bad, there's always the paper bag." -From the looks of things it seems that you devoured your sister as well -Noooo Missa super man no home -Who charges more for the night? You or your sister? -Are these your glamourshots for Crackwhore magazine?  -Only pans -"So your hotter sister got roasted first, and you decided to tag along?" -Username GoJizz checks out -"Always holding the hair to the side to show off the bolt-on tits, huh? I don't blame you, they're the most interesting thing about you. 🤷🏻‍♂️" -"no, please get your sister back." -Are those fake freckles ? -If only those eyebrows could talk. -Your Onlyhams account's only subscriber is your dealer. -Fake freckles are cute… said no one ever. -You drink too much -Guessing that if you and your sister are in the same room you’d still not have a full set of teeth -You can wear USA all you want… but yo ass gettin deported -Looks like you devoured your sister and didn't leave leftovers. -You’re gonna be mad at your sister cause she got more comments than you -"The final thot, devourer of dicks." -You absolutely look like you would not hesitate to put every other drivers life at risk to shave off 3 minutes of your commute in your Nissan Altima -"Ah yes, Ja’Laeya and Devante’s single mother taking time off the stripper pole." -"You're a blind man's best friend, he can always find South." -"Not bad, if your married in a 3rd world country with 4 children. If not then, I'll say no more." -When a wannabe influencer is closer to being influenza instead. -You look like you have painted on freckles. -Of course you have feet pics on your profile -You’ll make a great 3rd wife. -I hit that never called you back !! Lol -On a scale of 1 to 10 you are definitely 7/11. -Get her burning and it'd be like a tire fire -Why do you hold onto your hair in each pick? It makes you look seriously unintelligent. -I see taco damage in your future.. -Anchor babies has multiple meanings with you. -"First impression, you have a pretty face. Second impression, I feel that that pretty smile becomes a mean face very quickly. You look like a mean person trying to seem nice." -Telluride housekeeping service -I think I know this guy -"I have never see a scratch and sniff tattoo, until now." -You only have two things going for you …. And it ain’t your face -Tits mcgee... thats all i got. -"Your future looks like multiple different baby daddies, a clapped out Nissan Altima with expired plates and no insurance, and a failed only-fans career." -"Who sharted on your face!? Also, your tits are cock eyed..." -Looks like you also devoured your sister. -Every photo looks like you’re catfishing yourself. -You look like you only do 50/50 when you're out having dinner and eat half of your dates plate -You look like the porn I skip because it’s too 🗑️ -You look like a whole load of crazy that’s taken more loads than a Maytag. I knew your profile would be nsfw but you couldn’t even do that right. Do your nails at least before you take pics of them hooves -It look like a guy with a std gave you a facial -Your gassed up heavy!… solid 5-6 on your best day. You work really hard to keep that figure but as soon as you get happy it will look like free Willy… shit probably blew out too like an Arby’s roast beef -Soon to be another AZ single mom with two to four kids looking for something serious. Dad’s not in the picture because dead / in jail -You're as appealing as a lump of coal for Christmas. -You've been ran through more than the yellow light of New York city. I bet your koochi looks like a wet wallet pulled from a Porta potty. -"Hm, practice girls do grow up." -Did you take your Flintstones chewable Plan B today? -Big tits and big ass shoulders just like offensive linemen… -I can tell u ride -"Yes, we can Tell-You-Ride...a lot" -Looks like you got an order of flap Jack's hanging there. Possibly a couple oranges in tube socks -WHO THE HELL TATOOS FRECKLES ON THEIR FACE!? Lmao smh . Enough said -I bet your grundle smells like tripas and your feet smell like Fritos. -You seem to use your hair as a pacifier. From hand placement and direction I'm going to guess that the hair is a substitute to what you normally play with when you're alone. -Your eyebrows tell me everything I need to know about your personality. -You think you’re the pretty sister. Neither of you are. -Unlike your sister absolutely nobody wants to devour you. -The math not mathing why you built like an improper fraction? the 2nd pic shows me you got Shrek legs -"You look like somebody who’s gonna say - - -“My eyes are up here” to a Blind guy 👀" -Your Sister was better! Verified by 1000 other guys. -U look like someone who has an onlyfan but has no subscribers. -How much for the whole shabang -Weekend Funtime -gypsy rose who -"After seeing 8 pictures of you, I can tell the best decision you've made recently is resisting the urge to not use the username GoJizzz." -So you're the sister guys talk to in order to get closer to the other sister? -Girlfriend up North. Boyfriend down South. How convenient eh? -Now I know why our office cleaning didnt happen today -We all know a practice girl when we see one.. -No one is devouring you or your sister -Your sister must have been the last pig we put on the spit. -"You just look really mean. If you’re married, I’m beyond positive your man is depressed as hell. Like, you treat him like no matter what he does, he can’t do anything right and he never knows what’s going to set you off. - -Plus you look like you miss out on a lot of the activities you go to because you’re too busy taking selfies for instagram" -"I can see why you posted feet pics under this profile. Ain't no way you're getting any subs for your other body parts, especially that face." -She bought the content creator kit for TikTok and pivoted to OF -Do you use that giant claw to adjust your girdle? -We all know that we can’t roast you worse than that syphilis already is. -Skinny girl photos that require the wide angle lense -Every penis you suck adds one freckle 😬 -Flap jack titty having -Which one was the good photo? -Most definitely will do anything after a few drinks and if they share some sticky icky 😮‍💨👀 -The hard nips in the third pic don't even make this post worth it -U look like you would get arrested for stalking a sexually harassing a rapper -Breasts look down because they don't want to see your face. -Is your sister the one who kept saying she does coke -What’s the gas mileage in your Altima? -How are you fat and skinny at the same time? -Looks like you devoured your sister -Pass! You’re not worth the effort of roasting. -Why do people like fake freckles? -you look fun.... but like drunk at the club bathroom stall 20 mins max kinda fun. *flush noise* -Your two personalities are in front of you. -My wife is 40 and breastfed two kids and her tits don't sag that low. -oink -Your tits look saggier than your boyfriends pants after he gets released from prison -You look like you have nipple hair -How much makeup does it take you to look human? Apparently all the makeup is the answer. -Devouring seems like something you do far too much of. Big tits aren’t a flex when it’s just from eating like shit. -Needs an episode of CSI: SVU to play in the background in order to cum -You look like you devoured the football team -"Your friends refer to you as the ""Sloppy Seconds Girl"", you come in and lick the semen off the carpet when they are done swallowing." -Yur tits might as well have armpit hair with all that sag -Cold Queso vibes -"Tortas get devoured, you get put in the fridge for later and forgotten about." -"Based on your weight, I'm pretty sure YOU devoured your sister" -"She’s been roasted before, but different like split roasted" -I got news for you…with those hips you’re only gonna be able to have 12-13 kids…you’re gonna get disowned -Obviously you're the smart one -You probably have to pay people to look at your OF -"Lose weight so you don’t have to cover your stomach, or draw 25…. (Picks up whole fucking deck)" -"You freckle tattoo looks like some nasty blackheads. You look like a millennial single mother of two trying to hop onto the gen z train, but ass too fat." -Classic fat chick who doesn’t realize she is fat -"Your life is measured in ""amount of nipples per selfie""." -I bet your pet goldfish committed suicide. -"You look like the type that says shit like, ""If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best,"" then swoon when you meet someone as toxic as you only to try to win him over while he is running away. Not because you out-toxic him, but because you promise him you know how to suck dick because you know how you like yours sucked." -Your ass caused the Grand Canyon? -Jesus Christ. What is up with female redditors and nose piercings?  -Cash App me and I’ll show you the abuse only a Sugar Daddy with a huge stamp collection can provide. -You look like the type of chick who would fuck her bf’s Dad. -Constantly smelling shit face -You'll soon be having to pay for two airline seats for one ass. -Roasting that many plastics at once is terrible for the environment. We just fixed the ozone layer! -Big ol dome like a salvy -Ain’t nobody want to see those pancake nipples -Nobody wants to devour you -Moped -Only Fans post will come before new years -You look like you’re only good for a titty fuck -"You need attention more than you need oxygen - -And soon you’ll need some lifting to those chariots that are swinging low" -Whorechata. -You've definitely been roasted many times already if ya gnomesayin' -Hulk smash -You are so cute. Well endowed -Was your sister the one that looked like a skinny version of you? -So much potential but carbs and low self esteem will be your ticket to being a twice divorced single mom. -Hola Senor...3 Pesos for 6 minutes of dead mackerel sniffing. -This is why you stand in front of the car and turn the headlights on before leaving the bar -your thighs have their own ZIP Code. And I'm not even going to start with the size of your ass. -I don’t even wanna roast you cause you sexy -You look like a nursing assistant who's hoping to find a doctor who doesn't mind your three baby daddies. -"You look like the type of girl that every guy brags about sleeping with, but no guy brags about being in a relationship with." -You look like you enjoy aye-Nul -"Sorry, we still have food poisoning from your sister " -"From the looks of it...you are the one that devoured your sister, sir." -your main attribute is being boring to the point you fake pictures to feel happier than you actually are. -"Don’t worry, someone out there has a fetish for Areoles the size of hubcaps." -"No use trying to hide it honey, you clearly learned what a bra was yesterday, and now you breasts have hit rock-bottom. Don't think even a forklift could solve that one." -Typical 65 year old. -comment -"You look like you would carefully take off and fold your clothes before sex, like a utter psychopath" -"What did you tell your barber, just make my hair look like shit?" -Don't leave the gate open and that won't happen -Are your eyebrows also in the process of leaving you? -She stopped being a lesbian -"> My Gf just left me - -Explains why the long face, I guess." -Your ex is a smart woman. She caught on to your Hannibal Lecter vibes before it was too late. -Half your height is your head lol wtf -You only paid her for one hour -Did she leave because you kept screaming at her to put the lotion in the basket? -Probably because of your toupee -Shouldn't have let her catch you sucking fat dicks bro -I think your unusual haircut and werid eyebrows are really disturbing. Could you work on that for us? -"You mean ""left me"", in case the cops ask." -Slightly more convincing Elliot Page -Your gf says hi by the way. -"I'm betting your search history shows that you have looked for. "" The Art of drink making"" by Bill Cosby" -"Did she leave all of us.....? - -(he murdered her)" -"When you say ""left"", do you mean this planet? - - -You look like the last face I see before I wake up in a bathtub full of ice at a motel 6 with my kidney missing." -What is wrong with your head! It looks like a butternut squash! -We're you hung upside down as a child? That's one long head otherwise. -You mean the police have taken her body away? -"You look like you were built at whatever fucked up factory made Mark Zuckerberg, but after they failed their health and safety inspection." -"*throws used sex doll in dumpster* - -“My GF just left me :(“" -Did she find the severed head in your freezer that you keep for “blow job practice”? -why the long forehead? :( -Escaped/left why quibble over semantics. -What was his name? -"Just get a puncture repair kit, she’ll come back good as new." -Because she wants to date a straight guy probably -Sensible girl -She was right you should stick to men -"Well Lurch, obviously she's not a Halloween person" -That’s rough because your hairline’s about to leave you as well. -Hair that doubles as a hat. Impressive. -I want to leave now too -That’s a new way to say that your blow up doll popped. -I’m bald but I’d take it over your haircut -You look like you have a dungeon in the basement and your “GF” probably sprung a leak from one of those “toys” -"You look like the unabomber, no wonder she left you" -I´ve never been more sure about someone wearing a hairpiece -"She probably got tired of dating a gecko... Your eyes are so far apart, you can look behind you without turning your head." -You look like a hair club for men member. -Chris Hansen is about to knock on your door -I don’t blame her. Who puts ice in wine? -You spelled boyfriend wrong. -Did you accidentally leave the oversized head cheat code on again? -"I think you left your drugs under your wig mate, id avoid airports and police if i were you" -"Probably because she values her life, let me guess, your mother is dead in the basement?" -"I guess that’s one more missing person’s case solved, glad she escaped the dungeon." -Was your boyfriend supportive? -She was sick of competing with your boyfriend. -"Can't blame her, maybe she found out you actually need a Bf, it's time for you to realize it too." -You've got fingers like pigs tits -Don't f\*\*k with cats or the internet will get you!! -"I think it might be because of your toupee, cause I hear she likes your boyfriend" -She sensed that your gonna bash her head with a rock while she is sleeping and then dance with her dead body. -Did you tell her there would be Hell toupee? -Cillian Murphy if he was a conehead -Hannibal Lecter vibes -Left or got disposed of? -Matt Rifes brother -Your hair looks like somebody glued it onto a hardhat. -Your boyfriend will too. -"She left you, you sure about that 🤔 coz you give off a very Dexter vibe" -"Was it last week? Prob took 5 business days to sink in with that long ass forehead. - -Gahtdamnnn." -Did she leave in multiple garbage bags? -Did she close her curtains -This must be the moment when Lex Luthor went full villain... -I hope she gets back with you and then leaves you again. -GF left you? So like no one should look her.... she's definitely not under your floorboards or in your basement in pieces -She was probably tired of losing an hour of daylight every time she kissed that massive head of yours -"She left him, which means she escaped from the basement." -Don’t worry you can save up to get another doll soon -Guys please.. it looks like hes got ALOT going thru his head. -Makes sense. You were just her lesbian phase... -That’s a new way to admit to murder. -Please let her go and DONT lock her in the basement again… -"Is this post some kinda alibi for when the cops come interview you cause she went missing? -Cause you really look like she went missing." -"She didn’t leave you, you are her" -"Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got, you'd get some bitches on your dick" -Yeah bc who tf wants to date Tommy Shelby???? -We know. -Maybe she doesn't agree with your barber's choice in becoming a David Bowie tribute act -"When your girl got into a fight with some guy, you said to him ""what did she do?""" -She left or she escaped? -Did she crawl inside that enormous head of yours? -Honey…. Buzz cut is a way not joking… You have strong face features and your hair is messing it up -Peaky blinders except your face is causing me to want to go blind -Probably cause of that crazy haircut -"Not surprised, can already tell you’re vane and pretentious" -"You Look Like youre one of the children from the Coneheads, but they just let your hair grow" -"Suuurrreee…. Nice wig, who’d ya scalp? Hmmm . (Nice touch, shaping the her brain fritters to look like mushrooms)" -How could your gf leave your if your hands haven't been amputated? -They can only hold air for so long -How many horses banged you out though? -Did you finally come out to her? -Likely because she couldn't look at you in the eyes since they're so far apart -Your eyes are somehow farther apart than your relationship -Half a head on top of another head isn't it? -I wouldn't be surprised if there was human flesh in those Spaghetti. -Where is she buried? -"You look like dexter, and Matt rife had a love child" -You look like the human embodiment of a LinkedIn profile picture -You should be grateful that you had a gf with that face. -How are you straight Gay Frankenstein? -Now’s the time in Sprockets when we dance -Left you or in a barrel in the basement? -What was his name? The “ex-GF”? -Lookin like Frankenstein wit that big ass head -"She said she'd rather be with a man who has a real toupee, not a poser like you." -Sorry to head that. You look like a nice and handsome fella. Wish you the best luck finding a new love -You look like someone ordered Henry Cavil from Wish. -"I feel so bad laughing at these comments - - -WHY is this a thing? Your Grandma wants to know." -She’s probably on a date with your dad. -"She left you, or you're just confident nobody will find her body? You look like you wear people's skin as pyjamas" -I guess it didn’t put the lotion on. -She’s never coming back and neither is your hair -It’s be cause you have “I eat people” eyes -Probably hanging in your basement on a meathook as we speak -Did she say when she would be back? -You look like she caught you with your head on some guys lap while he gently stroked your hair. She knows what happened. Then it all made sense. How you still preferred to take your temperature rectally. -I believe you meant “ left IT” -Bros gf left because he poses the same way during anything -Is your ex girlfriend’s heart beating underneath your floorboards? -Left you to go into a witness protection program? fucking look like youre eating a persons organs on the other side of that dinner table. What a creep -your hairline is next -"With that haircut and hollow stare, I just couldn't imagine what would make her run for the hills... 🤣" -…is she okay? Has anyone seen her since you last spoke? -"M23 -Living in Germany, studying law in my final year. Apart from that my life is pretty boring" -So when's the murder trial -One gust of wind and that massive forehead you try to hide becomes a jumpscare -Sorry about your GF. What was his name? -What took her so long? -she probably found a guy with a bigger dick -Did you ask for the cheap tupe haircut? -At least the wig stayed. -Can’t blame her -"Hail Skeezer! It's your haircut, nimrod." -"Please, now leave that haircut" -"Good riddance. Find something new to bang. Bang till your mind in numb and then go about your life. If you really loved her, it'll keep coming back to you every now and then, till the end of your days but the best you can do is move on with your life. Also stay the duck away from sad music." -Can't say I blame her. -Mongraals hair is better then that -"If ""standard"" would have a globally agreed metric, it would be measured in ""you""." -That eyebrow fade may have something to do with it. -Rekt -I'm sorry to hear that dude. -Peaky blinders much? -He says... -You lose your right hand :( -It’s because of the wig -We can see why -You look like a gay horse 🐎 -"Should’ve kept the sides of your hair. -Now you’ve learned what it’s like to be treated as a side. -Lesson learned" -Bro looks like second hand margot robbie if her dick was as big as a clit -Was that a one sided affair 🤔 -You look like you would apologise to your girlfriend for not being good enough for her after she cheated on you -Paging Hannibal Lecters long lost son -You're hand fell asleep. Just move it around and the blood flow will come back. - An opportunity to finally come out I guess -You look like a Matt Rife and Dexter Morgan lovechild. -She was tired of everyone asking her why she was dating a lesbian barista -Your girlfriend is right there holding the card. -You’ll be ok man no need to flip your wig -"Your ""gf"" was looking for a boyfriend not a ""gf"". I'm not surprised she left.." -yeah you made her stare at dumb doodles all dinner -Maybe because you look like Hannibal -Did you go to Helen Keller barber shop and tell her to have fun with your last haircut? -"I would've thought the market for a wig made of a squid's butthole hair would be negligable. You got the forehead for it, tho" -"Why your hair is like a pigeon nest, did he lived there?" -Clearly she was the brains AND beauty of that relationship -I can understand why she did -It might have been because of the way laughed when you told her you want to wear her skin. -The sad part is it's definitely your personality. -Was it because of your haircut? -"By left you, do you mean her soul left her body or she escaped from your basement?" -"Can I have her plate? Oh, and her number." -You aren't...you aren't eating her right? Tell me you aren't eating her. -"right... ""left you"". why don't you tell us what you really did instead of making us wait for the Netflix documentary?" -"“My gf just left me.” - - What was his name?" -How you lose your hand? Industrial accident? -By gf you mean Paul -Spongebob Squarehead. -Leave the fringe before the fringe leaves you -"She left all of us... looks like she is being served ""over her dead body"" on a cold plate..." -Are you the girlfriend? -Because you’re g@y -Because u don’t deserve a bitch -“Left you”.. she’s in the crawl space. -Was it because of your stupid face? It was wasn't it? -The girlfriend is in the dish isn’t she? -"Dont worry son, there is a sea full of fish. Just find yourself an new boyfriend." -Pretty sure you Hannibaled her -"That hairstyle makes your long ass head even longer. She could've just told you but I can understand her, I'd expect you to notice it yourself as well." -She must have found out about your boyfriend -I can see why -Why the long face? -Understandable -"Try Ginder Bro, you look perfect for that." -Why are you having dinner with yourself pretending that you are still with her then? -It’s because of the sociopath eyes -"If you take off the wig, are you afraid your head will hatch?" -Dennis Reynolds meets Joe from You -are you sure you're not hiding her under that toupee? -You look like someone who talks a lot about their skincare routine. But other people's skin.... -She may have left you but I’m almost certain she’ll be putting lotion on the skin in your basement for a few weeks still. -Got a lil sugar in your tank -At least you got to keep her eyes. -If the person who knows you best rejects you what do you expect us to be able to tell you? -Did she really leave? Or did the Funeral home Director chase you out again? -tom holland with a birth defect -"Huh, Pinokio and the Flash had a child..." -Left you? Or in your freezer Mr. Psycho-eyes? -"That's one way of confessing to murder. She cut you off on 2nd base, didn't she?" -Smart woman -Probably didn’t feel comfortable with you being able to read her thoughts with that mongloid head of yours. -She must have gotten tired of watching you do the same stupid card trick over and over again -"You look like you're a method actor training for the part of ""Young Dexter""" -"If ugly people was the best medicine, you would cure the whole world." -"Bright side, the boyfriend is now happier." -I'm surprised you even had a Gf in the first place -"She didn’t leave you, she just deflated." -You look like the shitty first attempt of Mark Zuckerberg's secret cloning program. -Did you suck her blood or did she fuck off with a werewolf? -Good for her -Do you think it was the broccoli hair? -Did you cook her for dinner? -By GF you mean BF. Let's not start this with a lie. -Do you mean boyfriend? -"You look like the 3rd totally not incestuous, gay, or bald menendez brother." -You mean she luckily escaped while you were cosplaying as a chef? -...you ate her. You monster -She said to tell you hello -Don't blame her considering u look like the next Joe Goldberg -No wonder nonse at its finest -Of course she did -Your smile is as creepy as that clown from IT -"His girlfriend cuts his hair! She made it look like shit , then said I'm out of here!" -Don't you mean your boyfriend? -You look like a Lego character whose plastic hair piece wasn��t pushed down and locked in properly. -Her loss -She realize she's straight and wants to find a man instead? -Can't blame her for making the right decision  -Ur head too long for that haircut. Change that and call her back. She already fucked someone else. But just send her photo of new cut. You good. -Relax. I'm sure your mom didn't actually leave you. -You can’t hide that fivehead -"> My GF just left me* :( - -* The world" -"Your girlfriend would come back if you just bought a patch kit, covered the hole, and filled her back up." -Having the personality equivalent of watching paint dry will do that. -Did you play Butthead on the SNL Beavis and Butthead skit? -Left you or you buried the woman you abducted just to show your mum you had a girl friend! -Well they’re never really there when made of plastic. -American psycho vibes immediately!! -How far does that forehead go up? -Did she dump you after finding out you have a boyfriend? -You looked like Peaky Blinders and 50 Shades mashed together and sold on Grindr -Table..... For ONE..... -"Did you stage that whole dinner just for your Reddit post? - -No wonder she left you." -"Omg what's with the chalkboard behind you, especially the elephants ass right next to your head?! Idk maybe your into that sort of thing, that's your porn 😂" -"I know he set a tuner to take that dinner ""date"" photo! That looks too fake!" -"By girlfriend he means his boyfriend. Sneaky gays. You look like the side kick in the iconic groundbreaking short “Ambiguously Gay Duo” chin up you lil cock sucka, someone will love you. For your possessions soon" -Is your barber also your GF -"Don’t worry, you still have your hairpiece" -"I know why you had a better skin care routine than her. You're skin is flawless. This is not a roast, I know 😞😞😞😞" -You look real beat up about it there Dexter. Try not to murder anyone today. -Good for her -Why when having a hair transplant did they use pubic hair for your fringe? -More wine for you! -You got the 100 yard twink-death stare like those guys in Czech Hunter -Are you Rick Astley’s gay brother? -"Wait, how did you take that second picture?" -"Duh. You have resting ""they always leave"" face" -"It puts the lotion on its skin. She didn't leave you, she escaped." -Did she know she was your gf? -Und womit? Mit Recht! -Holy fuck dude look at that noggin -It’s the wig -"With a head shaped like that, can't say I blame her. - - - - - - - - - - - - -Serious note: Sorry to hear it man. Hope you're able to find love again." -She left you like your hair is leaving the sides of your head. -He looks like the dude who secretly sniffs girls hair while they aren't looking -That's cause she found out about your boyfriend. (Can't tell me no1 else wasn't or isn't thinking it) -Bro  look like he wrote porn scripts for a living  -That’s what happens when you pay for girls. And your personality looks dryer than stale bread. -"This peak blinder...you still have your mates, just not that mate" -"You know it’s bad, - -when even your imaginary GF leaves you.." -I thought you’re the girlfriend -Was it because you were diddling kids? -I’m surprised she dated you long enough for you to call her your girlfriend. -Was it because she found your basement full of prisoners? -If dickhead was a person -I bet you dress up like Peaky Blinders characters and rehearse old arguments in a mirror. Fuckin dork. -Your girlfriend must have been a pretty guy to leave somebody like you 🤭 -you draw a crappy giraffe -Left does not equal escaped -Did you order Alfredo from formerly Tony's and set that meal up alone for that picture ? -Say serial stalker without saying serial stalker... -If I was her I’d have left you sooner. -"I'm surprised you let this one go and not add her to the basement like the rest. - -Caption this- ""Candlelit dinner for one tonight, tomorrow... victim number 5.""" -boi ur face so ugly when u were born ur birth certificate expired -"Oh, look, Dollar tree brand matt rife." -Did she leave you or did you chop her up into pieces? -Stupid ass broccoli looking dumped ass bitch -"This guy looks like he could play a roll in ""Get Out""" -2nd picture is the last thing you see before waking up in a bathtub full of ice... -Cillian Derpy -You look like Hayden Christensen if he did dope -Did she leave you because your head looks like someone stepped on an acorn? -Date her father to get revenge -American psycho vibes -Grow your hair. -"Why did you set two place settings? She left you, idiot!!!" -This one's too easy. NEXT -You look like an alternative timeline Tom Brady where he became a cannibal inviting people over for dinner from Craigslist instead of playing football. -"By ""left"" you mean she was ""left in a shallow grave in the middle of nowhere""" -Watch out. I think your hair is trying to leave you too -Look like the white version of rapper blueface 😂 -There's a lot of plastic covering things in your home and Huey Lewis and the News playing in the background. -Did she leave because of the hair? Because that's justified. I'd have a hard time not busting out laughing if I saw that in person. -She seems to have left her bangs too. -And they haven’t recovered her body yet have they? -Don’t feel bad. You can now come up with a second imaginary girlfriend. This time try one who likes you. -When you asked the barber to cover up your receding hairline did they hear 'make me look like a Lego character' -"She left you, but you managed to recapture her. she was then compelled to take the dinner picture....." -Is you girlfriend in that pasta right now ? -Wish Zuckerberg -Blud got that snipers dream -comment -You're handsome and never had a girlfriend. That's a long way of saying you're insufferable to the opposite sex. -"Your post from 2044. - -M41 - Mechanical engineering student, ex gym rat and never had a gf, destroy me :)" -"Leering at the women doing pilates classes doesn't count as being a ""gym rat""." -Got to admire the pragmatism of a good engineer. Here we see the perfect example of one with his own built in birth control. It’s called “his personality” -Looks like this isn’t the first group of guys you’ve told to destroy you. -"Most guys - Break up with girl, go to gym - -You - break up with Gym, go to Mechanical Engineering school to learn how to make sex robots. - - - -By then AI will be too smart to fuck you though." -Never had a boyfriend is what I think you meant -The pictures look like five different people all trying too hard. -You look like the guy that all the moms warn their daughters about. -“Ex gym rat” cause he got banned for taking pictures of dudes changing in the locker room -You’re the Jewish version of John Krasinski. -You’re actually really cute but it’s too bad that every choice you’ve ever made has been wasted trying to prove to yourself that you’re interesting enough to make having lips your only personality trait -Fucking mall katanas in the back ground. -OP thanks for educating me on photography of individuals with autism. I didn’t know you guys had an aversion to looking directly into cameras too. You learn something new everyday. -I thought this was r/roastme not a Grindr profile. -You must be a real tool if you can’t get a gf looking like that -I saw the first picture and thought “damn this dude must be weird he’s not a bad looking guy” I saw the second picture and was like “yeah that’s about right…” -I’m sorry what those bad men at Nickelodeon did to you. -Incell sound cloud rapper -"Ahh yes, the rare traditionally handsome workplace shooter motivated by steroids and incel culture" -its like a slide show of what meth does -"When you say gym rat, you mean just cardio, right? Or do you mean you’re literally a rat who scurries around the gym eating crumbs from protein bars that fall on the ground?" -"You look like that and you've never had a girlfriend?  -You are gay, my friend. Gay as gay can get. Gayliest of the gays." -Happy Pride Month. -I’m not going to destroy you. Engineering school will. -"Is the reason you don't have a gf is because you drive a white van that says. ""Free candy""" -"So you couldn't commit to the gym, you couldn't commit to a girl, you gonna fail your commitment at engineering too?" -"Ex gym rat? You know pokemon gyms don't count, right?" -You look like you went to Thailand. -"You’d be pretty attractive without the douchey hand signs. - -Plenty of other people are douchey too, so your personality must really suck if you’ve never had a gf." -You look like Jimmy Neutron if he stopped Inventing stuff and opened a Vape Store. -You look like the type of Italian that collects the cheese from his foreskin and uses it to finish off your tagliatelle. -"If this man goes to jail with those lips, he's gonna be very popular" -wait how you’re so hot especially the last pic -You forgot Current Bible Camp counselor. -Getting a gym membership and using it once doesn't make you an ex gym rat. -"you don't want me destroying you, you'd be gaping *Trust*" -Never had a girlfriend huh? Maybe once he graduates he can build himself one -Got the rat part right -"Been a gym rat, now you're just rat." -"Believe me bro, you didn’t need to say you’ve never had a girl. Being an engineering student basically confirms that." -"You look like a homeless version of Clark Kent. When you transform into your alter ego, your super power is being uninteresting." -"Oh shit, all this guy said was that he’s never had a gf, and all of us just assumed he was straight! Bet he’s huge gay hoebag." -Please no gang signs. -BAWB... Basic Ass White Boy. -"With your eyes that far apart, I can only imagine your ears won't hear a damn thing in front of you." -drop the facade and fake smile. -Are you secretly holding that dude's load in those chipmunk cheeks in the second photo? Alvin! Theodooooh - -"Unrelated but it looks like you have an enclosure in the background, could just be me but if you have any pet reptile I cannot roast you 😭" -"Cory Doctorow, sword display, Harry Potter. You don't even need to be in that photo for us to know you've never had a girlfriend." -" -Did u take that creepshow Pic w person in back to make it appear like you have a friend?" -He looks like John Krasinski's twin who's a recovering addict. -"Just came here to see who made the first ""Dollar Store Harry Potter"" comment." -You have the fingers of a hunger striker. -now all you need to do is sound gay and youll be forever invincible against HR -Mclovin leveled up -He doesnt have gf cause they r locked in his basement i wonder what consensual sex feels like ted bundy -Is “never had a gf” the new way to say “I’m gay?” We can tell. -Never have I seen someone try so hard to be externally attractive but absolutely fail in understanding that it requires personality and charm. Typical engineer. Getting lost in the details of the construction and losing sight of the soul. -"I saw the first image and thought you were one of the brothers from the band AJR, “which I hate very much,” so thanks for bringing back the PTSD I had when I listened to that hellspawn of a band for the first time." -Yep you’re too damn pretty to be straight.. and that sucks because as an only slightly cute straight man I’m saying we could use your gens in the pool… the problem is all the great looking ones end up gay and their pretty gens die with them -That third picture has me questioning if you haven't had multiple boyfriends at this point. Someone's probably been staring at these pictures with the gaydar going off in the background. -If Nice Guy ™️ was an Andrew Tate virgin -You're very hot...so it's definitely the personality. -How tall are you? -"Oooof that’s hard. As in, if I were a guy I’d be hard right now." -"Dude you are hot, how have you never landed a gf? Do you just fuck or what? I’m only slightly better looking and don’t understand how you could go without." -Why are you a different person in every photo 😂 which one does a girl get?! -"I know a few mom’s and senior ladies who would love to destroy you, with their vaginas!!!! Or mouths, some still have their teeth…could be you someday at the rate you’re going!!" -Hard to believe you hate women more than you hate yourself but wow -"Oh, you have swords…take the number of swords you own and multiply it by zero to determine how many times you have been laid." -This guy asks permission to ask a girl on a date. When you walk into a room where some poor girl got trapped with him you can see her breath. -Honestly u seem like a pretty chill dude. -"U look like u posted here for compliments instead of being roasted…narcissism - -U know ur cute dont even lie honey" -"The Costco version of Jim from The Office, but uglier and more drugs" -You put the Berger in Asperger -no i wont -Dude reddit is not place for boyfriends.. -"You decided that you wanted to go from being a handsome, good looking man to being flubby and average AF." -"That sock you’re using prob has like 5k abortions about now, I feel for that sock, it never deserved that" -"""likes to get pegged on the weekend""" -"So let me get this straight, - -You’ve never had a girlfriend (even though you hit the gym) - -You dress like a hipster - -And you you’re an engineering student? - -Buddy I don’t need to roast you you’ve already straight up fucked up your life" -Your facial hair grosses people out. They don't know WHY exactly ... it just does. -Never had a girlfriend but how many boyfriends have you had? -"You look like you start every sentence with, It's ya boy!" -You look like you miss the shower sex with rando dudes at the gym -"I’m also 21M, engineering student, current gym rat and have never had a girlfriend. I used to feel bad about myself and then remembered I’m a civil major and not a mechanical" -..I volunteer as tribute! ~ Katniss Everdeen -Just cone out of the closet bro. It's ok -"I hate you so much, can you lather yourself up in salmon entrails next time you go for a hike?" -You idolize logan paul -You look like you have trouble focusing on zero things at a time. -🗿 + 🤓 -Due to the lack of muscles you have you must do aerobics. -Sewer rat more likely -Try a bit harder and you'll finally become a rigid body -I think its your beard. Make a woman bleed in more than one place. -"Nothing screams closeted gay as much as pulling your sleeves to show your arms because you don’t want to own a tank top. - -Nothing wrong with being gay, too bad you’re not bright enough to accept that for yourself." -“Micro-dick” is your super hero alias. -god damn bro your eyebrows could warm a family of 5 -Human Shrek LITE -Why does your Adam’s Apple look like a pyramid? -This soy boy is a boy toy -Man’s smile lookin like a puppy that tried to eat a bee -The background already tells me the reason you don't have a girlfriend -The reason you never had a girlfriend is because you always had boyfriends -I have just the guy for you sir ;) -Incel for life -Looking like a kid raised by church parents and now you're trying to fit in with cool liberal college kids. -"U look like the annoying kid from Stewart little all grown up, -your mommy must be so proud. - -Come out tho, u can still do it." -It's hard to get a girlfriend when you can't talk to women.... because you are hiding in their closet masturbating... talking to them would ruin it. -Flight of the concords -Never had a girlfriend cuz that roofie only last for the night -If assless chaps were a person 😶 -How small is the 🍆? Maybe that would explain it… -bro's face is built like a mcdouble -"No time for a GF !too busy looking at yourself in the mirror and taking photos of yourself, how fuckin’ sad to be such a wanker at 21." -">never had a gf - -but your new boyfriend is a little worried about dating the campus slut?" -Cool swords -you look like a wish.com version of jacksfilms -You'll find your asian gf soon. -"Nah, the hookers are already doing that behind your back after they leave." -You look like you talk shit to girls that don’t want to sleep with you. -You have rawr / xD vibes -You look like you belong in a stock image with yo Franklin the Turtle look -"Thats just the wish version of Jim Halpert, nothing to see here" -Ex gym rat? Were you just eating cheese?  -Arms are too small to consider yourself a former gym rat -You could’ve just stopped at Mechanical Engineering -Definitely not a gym rat -Joshua block if he got his life on track -The smile every Caucasian hiker makes when you pass them -Red angry bird. Enough said -Was a gym rat. Now is just a rat. -Looks like a fluffer🤣 -Gym rat= tells the manager on everyone who goes over the 20 minute time limit on the cardio machines. -“Never had a girlfriend”..just say you’re gay. Everyone knows by looking at you anyway. -This is Nic Cage’s sidekick in National Treasure but the Simi Valley version. -You look like you play on an intramural team called the Bruhs. -Dollar tree Henry Cavill impersonator. -"don’t put girls on a pedestal, most are extremely insecure, even more than you are!" -"That’s not enough muscle to be an ex gym rat at 21, you’ve done like three pushups in your life." -Seems like you've had plenty of boyfriends -Looking for left overs in the break room of a gym doesn’t make you a gym rat. -Hello there Jim from wish.com -If chicken little hit puberty -You should probably roast that PC before the feds find out. -I can’t roast you because you’re so adorable 🥰 -Is yourboyfried behind the camera in every photo wtf are you looking at -Engineers have to be the worst in bed .. there is no good calculation for just being horny and banging each other -Nothing to roast I see -"Ex gym rat? Bro, you are 21. The only ex you are is an ex child." -"idk, id date you" -im scared i cannot roast you. will you marry me? -You look like Jimmy neutron after discovering what meth is. -you look like if harry potter fucked adin ross and magically popped out a baby -You're so handsome... Too handsome 🥵♥️ can I be your boyfriend? -"Hanging out in the men’s locker room sauna for hours does not make you a “gym rat,” OP." -You look like a German frat boy -Crazy to look like such a fuck boy without having done any of the actual required fucking to be one. -Bro You were in Mechanical Department. Girls prefer IT. -Mentions no girlfriends...Stays silent about the guys he dated ! ;) -"Ex gymrat, now just a rat 🐀" -Justin Beiber got gang banged by ever member of the Backstreet boys & this was the kid that he shit out -You kinda look like if Matt Rife had a love child with David Schwimmer. -Bro went to the gym with the wrong intention… you’re supposed to carry the weight not throw it around.. -"""never **will** have a gf"" - -FIFY" -"Never had a girlfriend, but has a closet full of skin suits.." -Definitely getting “where my hug at?!” energy from these pics -Ex gym rat ? -Most certainly have been active in Jelqing subreddits -You've had plenty of boyfriends though . -World of T-Shirts -Do you make girls watch you do your mall ninja moves? -Have you tried looking in the bargain bin of Comicon for a GF? -Big whoop.. There's plenty of gay guys who've never had a girlfriend. -"“Never had a gf” - -I see the katanas and can immediately see why." -How the fuck did you manage to look like 5 different people across 5 selfies? -That's one way to say you're gay -You not being that ugly and never having a girlfriend makes me feel better about myself. -The gf situation.. Probs something to do with them hideously bony fingers. You could pick a lock with them fucking things -" -Twig ahhh figure, went to the gym 4 times and then called it a day. Now he’s an “ex gym rat”!" -Can’t do much. Keep climbing -“Ex” gym rat? That was the only thing you were doing right man!!! -Never had a girlfriend…just say you’re gay. No one cares -I think you mean boyfriend -"Who's got time for a girlfriend? Between gym, work and plowing your twilight sparkle waifu pillow, you are a busy man!" -When was your gym rat phase? 8th grade for like 3 weeks? -"You already said the reason why you never had one, you’ll eat their muscles apart with those fangs." -"What gym - Curves? -Can’t take your eyes off yourself long enough to take a proper selfie" -"Dude honestly it’s a good thing you havnt had a gf, had you had a gf by now, you’d be overweight, struggling and likely looking a lot older. Build yourself and stay happy… girls come like bees.." -You may not be able to mechanically engineer a wife but you’d fit right in with gays -"Bro, you're clearly not meant for licking ice cream. You, my friend, were built for popsicles." -Lookin like Jim Halpert -Guys sucks his own dick -“Gym rat” yea right -Never had a girlfriend because you look like you probably have more estrogen then the average female. You ARE the girlfriend. -You didn't have to say; 'never had a gf' WE COULD TELL. -Off-brand Ryan Reynolds ahh face. -I see the poster child for peado watch -"It's pride month in 2024, you can just say it." -"Attractive, fit, and educated, but never dated? - -Tell us you have a shitfuck personality without saying saying you’re an incel." -You like dudes. -what do i say? ur just an average dude -You look like worldofshirts if he kicked his alch addiction and hit the gym -"So, you're telling us that you're gay... noted." -Gym mouse* -...but you've definitely been passed around by many bfs -Get back in the gym if you want a gf -That closed mouth uncomfortable smile in the first two pictures tells me how insecure you are for pictures. -is that your nose holes or a two barrel shotgun -Of course you would have katanas -"World of tshirts dopple ganger, kind of uncanny." -Is this fucking XJawz? -"You look like the kinda guy who claims he's ""right leaning"", and then proceeds to move to south carolina and rant about the gays and the nerdy ""edudoctrinated"" people who went to university *despite* having a degree" -All your photos could be turned into a Douchebag r/starterpack -Nick? Is that you? -"Good looking 21 year old future engineer. - -I think im just gonna roast myself." -Never had a gf because you’re gay. -"You look like the slowest Version a Generative Ai could make out of Daniel Ricciardo( F1 driver). - -But even he is slow." -I think I saw you on an episode of The Office. -Gourmet Worldoftshirts -Major Pinocchio vibes -There's no way all those pictures are you -I bet the lady’s just walk away as soon as you smile. -Why does your face look like this emoji “😐” -"Your face looks sad. Not, like, you look sad, but like your face is sad having to be associated with you." -"“Never had a gf, destroy me :)” Is that what you say to the dudes at the bath house?" -"You look like SUPERMAN! -Like when Temu/Aliexpress tries to copy a face mold of Henry Cavill or David Cornswet. And then they get your face as the action figure as the final production." -Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈 -You look like a mechanical engineer. -More like locker room lingering wannabe gym rat. Gazing at dicks ain’t a workout. -It's giving..... mommy issue's. No girl wants a man who fucks his mom. -"He looks like Marcus from Detroit become human but he smoked weed, and did coke and was gay" -We already knew about the no girlfriend bit when we saw your Harry Potter books and collectible swords. -You have nice eyes and look like Freddie Prince Jr. -You look like you’ve been in Jim more than you’ve ever been in a gym. -How many bfs have you had? -Scranton is calling you back  -Wait is he auditioning for the new play big bang your step mother. The musical? -The only thing willing to sit on your face is your glasses. -Maybe lose the Sally Jesse Raphael frames and the sword collection to start. Makes you look like a gayer Dahmer -This guy is going to look like Emperor Palpatine by the time he's 28 years old -You look like you had a girlfriend but didnt realize it because you missed the social cue. -You don’t need those swords mate. Your virginity is safe. -Does it hurt to poop? -"Maybe if you spent as much time on your personality as you do on CAD software, you’d have more success with the ladies. I think you'd have more success barking up the other tree if you know what I mean." -The closest you got to going in the gym was owning a membership that was purchased online. -My dude the swords in the background already told us everything we need to know about your sex life. -Really? Your kinda cute so probably gay -Bro do you keep fake plants as pets? -Never had a girlfriend? Bet there's a few distressed sheep where you live. -How is your body odor and breath? -So diddy -Gay Jew -Good to see a future business and management graduate! -No You are just perfect the way you are :) -"You can't be throwing up gang type hand gestures if you ain't never had no pussy, bro... I mean that's like a rule." -"Built like a box of scraps - -(I’m sorry)" -"Buddy, you hang out at the gym and haven’t had a girlfriend…is this issue not glaringly obvious to anyone else??" -Is that your BF with the green backpack? -You spelled “never had a BF” wrong. I can’t be the only one who sees this. -with that jawline no wonder no girlfriend for you -Are you gay? -You look like a diet version of link from Good mythical morning -You look like McLovin’s Gay brother -You look like you long for the touch of a strong man -Walmart Jim (the office) -Definitely could have stuck to the gym for awhile longer! -You never had a girlfriend but how many boyfriends have you had? -You never had a girlfriend because you don't get an extra bone when watching girls. -Bro looks like Andrew Garfields gay twin -Ex gym rat? I’m guessing you went purely for the complimentary cucumber water and to stare at men building up a sweat. -The only gym rat that skips arms and shoulders -You look like a pretty cool dude -"I just graduated from mechanical engineering, you look like the kind of guy who relies on others to do group projects" -Incel chauvinist -Never have a gf? Impossible. -Freddie Prince jr the III lookin ass mf -Such cringey ass pics 😂 -Where’s Waldo lookin ass -"Wannabe Clark Kent, without any of the charisma of Superman" -So a gay in denial. Get fucked bro. -How many boyfriends with them dick sucking lips? -Youre either asocial or antisocial -Incredibly punchable face -You look like someone who can't stop talking about sriracha. -Not having a girlfriend ever should be an obvious clue that maybe your Where’s Waldo look you got going on there needs a changin -"Listen, it’s alright, we already know why you’ve never had a girlfriend. You’re clearly more attracted to sex dolls, your degree will soon help you find, or rather make, your one. Also, if you’re a gym rat, which gym, Gumbi’s gym for claymations? Your arms look totally flimsy, and you’re giving off a metro Bieber vibe, at best. Last part, how many boyfriends have you had though?" -You are more mid than a pitbull feature -Honey you are a handsome son of a gun. there is no need to roast you. -You probably had a boyfriend -No GF at your age yet .....your penis must be something your real embarrassed about then .I'm guessing green bean like? -Mechanical engineering is his whole personality gauranteed 😂😂😂 -You look like you shower twice a month -Your smile looks like when a dog is trying to hide shit/bugs/rocks in its mouth -"Dam Boi, you look like you've made both your parents proud 👏 You'll be slaying chicks with that engineering velum sonnnnnn!" -"Lol no shit you’ve never had a girlfriend.  - -You’re clearly gay dude. " -I bet you love handling nuts and taking bolts. -When AI wants to be roasted this is what we get -Like..split roast you? Id love to. But we will need another guy. -Ex-gym is right. You look like a scarecrow bro. -"You cannot build a personality, either in the gym or in class." -"Dude, you look lick you could suck a goofball through a garden hose" -Maybe it's because girls see your DSLs and assume you bat for the same team. -Just not worth the time. -Where did you get those glasses? I’ve been searching for that exact pair - brand or store? -"Not necessary to mention ""never had a gf"", we see the swap meet swords behind you" -How many boyfriends? -You look like Clark Can't. -You're so handsome but I feel like you'd be the type to be friendzoned a lot. -I can see the ex -"You failed so much to hide your fruityness that you even made that closet with crystals, unfortunstely for you they are seethrough" -"Looking like the IT guy who tells everyone to reboot their computers but can't reboot his dating life. That sword in the background is the closest you'll get to slaying anything, and those plants are the only things you can keep alive. Did you get that sign from the last art project you failed? If your personality was as sharp as that katana, maybe you'd be interesting!" -I’m sure your ex bf is a great guy -He “lights up a room” on 48 hours. -you look like side hero who girls used to leave for the main hero -"Looking like one of those dudes that say, ""Where my hug at?"" When they meet up with any girl." -"Got the looks, but not the brains. I can see why you ended up in mechanical engineering." -I can't. You're a smart nerd and you deserve something good. -"I can't possibly do anything worse to you than those hundreds of anonymous strangers have done to you already. Oh, your proctologist says, ""Thanks for the new speedboat.""" -"Tai Lopez called, he wants his look and his boyfriend back!" -bro was given the 10/10 character sheet but only rolls 1s and 2s so the hit count is meh 🤷 -If I had that face I would hit the tree with my face x100.. until it’s blank and redesign able… just saying -If that was my face I would’ve hit a tree with my face until it’s blank and redesign able… just saying -"This guy said he's never had a girl, and he wants you to destroy him. Hmmmmm." -They coming out of the woodwork…. June is a hell of a month. They can’t hide even if they wanted to -Oof🥵 -"""...never had a gf"" is weird way to say you're gay." -You perfected the rat part -You’ve could’ve just posted your sword collection with no caption and we would’ve figured out the rest -So did you decide to eat a bee like a dog then take pictures -Only puts the tip in -So cute! -Whatever Harry Potter. -I have nothing to say. You look like the ideal example of a human. -"Yeah, chicks dont like it when you close talk to them as your snapping pics up their skirt with your phone. Found that out the hard way. I see you need to learn it as well." -"No roast from me! -You are beautiful 💚💚💚" -comment -You look like you’ve never gone on a third date -If pole dancing ever becomes an Olympic sport you'll be Australia's first choice. -"Well, strip clubs gotta get their Wednesday afternoon crew from somewhere." -You poledance?! Expect a bill from my therapist -Been going through the comments...this chick is funny! It's never the pretty ones huh 😞 -'I just want to feel something' is what you tell yourself when you are on your third order of mozzarella sticks.. -"That’s why you pole dance, so you can finally feel what a pole between your legs feels like." -That unique odor of pole dancing sweat and cat piss alone has the gentleman callers lined up. -That cat is terrified you're going to poll dance or wear those leopard print pants again 😢 -It makes sense that you like cats considering that you smell like fish. -Note: Pole dancing will not help you increase your matches. -"Goes places wearing a “take it up the bum, you won’t be a mum” t-shirt" -I'm guessing you don't work many weekend night shifts. More JV team if you will -I can only imagine the craters in your floor from falling off the pole. -Spending the night with your vibrator does not count as pole dancing. -I'd throw singles to get you to stop pole dancing -That cat gonna escape moment that door opens -"I just watched your pole dancing video, and I’m here to tell you that you can get it any time you want it, girl! - -A chiropractor, that is…" -I had no idea they even made floor to ceiling bollards. -I hope that pole is well-anchored -Do you lubricate the pole with the grease from that landing strip of a forehead? -People probably pay you to keep your clothes on. -You also appear to like Little Debbie snacks too. -Each photo I scrolled right on you lost 50lbs. I was waiting for one more photo to get to your final beauty form. Maybe for your next roast… -You didn’t have to tell us you like cats. We can tell -"I’m gonna level with you, no dude is interested in a pole dancer who looks like they’d stab him over the last piece of cake." -What? A telephone pole? -I'm pretty sure the only pole that can support you is the north pole!! -I'm pretty sure there is no pole that can support your weight. I'm pretty sure your arms can't support your weight either. -Surely pole dancing is a metaphor for something? I don't think we have the technology yet to hold up that thing. -"If you were pole dancing in a strip club, you’d have to pay me to watch" -Clearly a dancer on nickle night -"Picture 3 just screams ""that bitch, Carol Baskin""" -JD Vance is going to use you as the poster for childless cat ladies. -so this pole that you use for dancing - does it hold up bridges? -The only pole dancer that has to offer refunds -What's the point in pole dancing if nobody is willing to watch you? -"The guys who watch you pole dance ""make it rain"" with food stamps." -If I saw you in the strip club working I’d definitely ask you to break a 5 for me -"I'd rather watch your cats dry heave for 3 straight hours, than 1 minute of you on a pole" -Guess it wasn't enough to just tell one man at a time that you just want to feel something. -Champagne and a black dress for a date with the cat? Jesus. -"You like cats and pole dancing? Looks like you love cakes, pies, and mashed potato sandwiches too" -So thats why the earth's axis has shifted slightly -Ready to settle down bod. -When you order Katy Perry off Temu -The ONE ugly one they mentioned on the strip club sign -I don’t think the meth is working for you -Proper 7 pinter -You must practice on some sturdy poles! -Breaking News: you look like you'll never accomplish feeling something -Youd be a Tuesday afternoon stripper -Only pole you belong on is a spit -We're talking telephone poles for this girl. -an aggressively mediocre woman using hypersexuality as cope. tale as old as time -You've probably put catnip in your butt -Ew -There's an opening for Monday morning strippers down at the shake joint since you like pole dancing I'm sure you'd get the position bc your pics say you're over qualified -I hope that pole isn't attached to a load bearing wall. -Hearie!!!! hearie!!!! Fat and queerie.... it is the cheeseburger that separates you from womenhood -There aren’t enough poles in da club to hold you up -You ain’t fooling anyone madam you are 35 lmao -Your ass is bigger than your future -Your knees are in much better shape than I anticipated -Loos like the oldest young person I have ever met or maybe also the youngest old person -"Me: Mom can we get a pole dancer? -Mom: We have a pole dancer at home. - -The pole dancer at home:" -She got a sixhead -"I like cats, pole dancing, and documenting myself pulling over to poop" -KITTYYY -Your forehead has its own zip code. -"So you like pussys and poles, sometimes you feel like some nut some times you dont! At least youve doubled your chances at getting laid." -"Audition for Blacked.com -Let’s see how you can really work a pole." -I got a pole you can dance with -"Pole Dancing Huh? Well The Only Thing I See, Is You Twerking Next To A /Your Car. I Thought Women Only Squat Down Next To A Car Like That If They're Tipsy And Had To Take A Piss!" -"I don’t know what to say here, but you’re the cats meow for taking all this heat from guys who are going to use your leopard pants photo for “inspiration” with their flesh-lights later on." -Where’s the pole dancing photos ? -That’s one fat pussy you got there -"Wov,that third photo in front of the car looks like a ""Peg Bundy - before"" picture." -I bet you use a telephone pole… -You keep doing pole dancing while all the men keep pole vaulting over you. -“I just want to feel something.” I’m sure your gaping vagina feels the same way -Too pad the poke has to be a telephone pole -She meant pillar dancing. Ain’t no way she dancing around a pole. -"You must pole dance recreationally then, because there is not a single man I know who'd willingly hand over singles to them honey glazed hams for ass cheeks you got there." -They're making poles out of titanium now? -Idk but your cat looks exactly like my cat and I got scared for a second wondering where my Chloe was. -"I assume you’d like actually stripping, but no one will hire you. So you pole dance in your living room for your cats." -"You might like pole dancing, but the ceiling doesn't like you." -You look like the type of women men are after when they just want to feel something. -You look like one of the witch sisters from Hocus Pocus -You look like you would get offended by the geek vs nerd song from Rhett and Link -That’s one strong pole to hold that ass up . -You look like you do anal on the first date and say you've never done this before -I’m not sure how you have managed to look like 5 different people in the 5 pictures that you provided -Cat lover? That’s a start!!👍 -First time I ever felt bad for a pole -leave your cats out of this…. -pronouns would be mentally/ill -You do look like you pay to pole dance instead of get paid to pole dance. -25????? Oh sweetie 😐 -I feel sorry for the cats. The shit they probably witness smeared during your pole nights is probably unbearable. -Of course you like cats...offfff course you like cats -Pole dancing ? What fuckin pole are you dancing on that don’t fold up under your weight -You look goofy when you're serious -You look like my friend from Nashville. She’s a lesbian and has 8 cats. -I hope you mean watching pole dancing for all our sakes -Irl Meg Griffin -"You like pole dancing, but the pole does not like you dancing on it." -1000's of beautiful girls and 3 ugly ones .. here's one of the ugly ones. -Looks like an OF ad to me -You look like a pornstar lol -I no longer wonder what the poledance equivalence of the kangaroo breakdancer is. Turns out anyone can go famous for zero points. -Did they not sell cow print leggins? -Pole bending* -"In the third picture, why are you squatting like that next to your car?" -When you are on the pole it looks like a lolipop candy -I feel bad for the pole -"Masturbating with a cane pole isn't actually ""pole dancing""" -What about pole dancing cats? -You need to get therapy for your cat! -That’s asking a lot of the pole. -Why the long forehead? -I'd love to see you pole dancing. Naked. At the south pole. -Must be one sturdy pole..... -Try kegels you might start to feel something. -Like a telephone pole? -Probably an OF market for ugly woman dancing on a cat tower pretending to be a stripper. At least ur dad and brother would subscribe -Eew -"They say a fathers goal is to keep their daughter off the pole, but they never said why 😂😂😂 dont quit your day job i promise you'll need it" -You look like you pole dance on your cats scratching post. -Must be on thick pole... -"Get back on the pole and back on the spit, you're a half cooked roast chicken that your cat stole from the garbage." -Looks like that pole is the only pole you get -"That had better be a really well-made, heavy-duty pole." -We’re gonna need a bigger pole… -Nothing more i want then a pole dancing crazy cat lady -"Does it bother you that your guy ""friends"" only ask you to go with them to the strip club because they get lap dances at half price?" -"If plain yogurt started a sexy hobby to meet people, but instead just got another cat" -"The pole probably wants to implode like the titan, from all that pressure." -That’s just a really rough 25. -you look like emily blunt if she spent the last 15 years eating mud cakes at 3 am -It hard to dance with that Forest Whitaker eye goin on? -the second photo reminds me of someone… -It takes someone really special to be a pole dancer and still end up a cat lady. -Residency at the the local petting zoo now available. Former Howler Monkey cage open. -Maybe if I start pole dancing people will think I'm interesting -"I feel bad for the psychiatrist who has to evaluate you. - -Also your kitty is super cute ❤️" -You have my body type and I hate myself. boom tandem roast -You're definitely one of those teachers who sucks off her students because he gets you -And by pole you mean a 14 inch support pole right? Cuz ain't nobstrupper pole holding your fat ass up -"I cant imagine a pole being able to support you, nor a men that would be willing." -I didn't know they made poles strong enough for that -"You want to feel something? Run your fingers lightly across your face and feel the braille. Your skin probably says, “wash me”." -ewww women (discaugsting) -Gonna have to be a Telephone pole. -If you pole danced for me I would ask for my time back -Cats and pole dancing? The terminally single -Even the cat is looking to bolt from you. -"Bunch of cat ladies, I say... with no stake in the future of our country" -That must be a pretty sturdy pole. -You look like Katy Perry but with an extra chromosome. -You look like you need to feel what the gym and exercise feel like -Can I assume the Poles agreed to that? -You will never feel the love of a man. -That poor pole... -You'll feel something one you hit that wall. -Im assuming several guys have said they loved you and you believed every one of them -Looking the way cat piss smells -You have a lot of 1 month relationships. -I really like the picture of you breaking into the car -"If I told AI to build the most average woman possible, I think it would create you... but with extra fingers." -"I suggest doing Kegels if you want to feel anything, canyon girl...." -"Once you're done taking a shit on the grass, don't forget to pick it up. You don't want to get fined for dog mess" -I'm not good at roasting first time trying but you look like you would be the d squad in a strip club. Any good -Paleface -Even the pole cringes at your touch. -watching you pole dance would be like watching a rotisserie chicken cooking on a pole -The pole needs a tetanus shot after coming in contact with you. -"You: “I just want to feel something.” - -Pole: “I feel everything.”😩" -No strip club would hire you and so now you pole dance in the alley for tomcats. When your friends ask how much it pays you tell them “It sprays a lot!” -"Pole dancing as a sport, lol. Stripping becoming an Olympic sport gives everyone a reason to go to strip club for sporting event. Corporate outing at the strip club" -"I can tell you like cats bold of you to put a picture of you in leopard, print, crouching and looking back. -Literally LOL" -"No club owner would let you on their poles. - -Except maybe Beef. They do crazy shit there." -If I walked into a club and you were pile dancing there I'd walk right out. -Your cats get more action during your Netflix and chill dates than you do -"You’re gay -Leave straight ppl alone" -Well your Cat already touched the pole so that’s a feeling! 😂😂 -"By ""pole,"" you mean a hydro pole, right?" -"So crouching by the car like you’re going to pop a squat, with leopard print leggings or tights? That just exudes “WT at its finest.”" -Had to start stripping to pay her way through living alone with 9 cats -You like cats so much you've adopted your sense of fashion from their litter box. -Her car has a better looking pussy -"You’re that kind of mid fat that is going to get you in a soul cycle cult. - -It won’t work by the way. You make bad eating choices. - -Upswing is that some idiot that graduated from “the school of hard knocks” will probably wife you up and won’t care how fat you get." -Were you squatting to “touch grass” in those leopard-eseque tights? Your Influencer would be proud of you. -Why do you like pole dancing?? you are not even hot -If you were better at pole dancing you probably wouldn’t need so many cats -These roasts are pretty lame and unimaginative. Perhaps if you were unattractive or made duckfaces you’d get what you apparently need. -Must be one strong ass pole -May I pet your cat? -"I've seen these pictures before when I asked midjourney ""what does desperation look like?""" -She can’t feel anything down there because she pole dances. -Christ if you need to resort to Reddit to “feel something” I think you have deep insecurities that need exploration with a therapist. -Must be a sturdy pole -He he he She said cats and poles… he he he -Yes because the cat is dependent and the pole physically cannot back away from your advancing thighs. -Your neighbors called the humane society cause they got a stiff whiff of polecat coming from yer place. -"Man, what kind of pole can hold you??" -you want to FEEL something? I bet you feel ALL the wind blowing across your five head -You mean you cant feel the pole between your legs? -Holy cow and I mean that quite literally. I'd feel sorry for that pole -Poles got to sign a waiver form before being used by you. -I have a feeling that second sentence is used regularly in your day to day life. -"You look like my future ex wife, and I am already a trainwreck" -"Just how hard are you finding pole dancing exactly because my god, you don’t look a day under 35." -So....do you slide up and down the pole or just slide down on a pole? -"Its good that you like cats, I see a lot of them in your future" -"I own seven cats and would watch you pole dance all night. Sorry, no roasting. I probably deserve it more 😊" -That 3rd pic is such a good self roast that we really don’t have to do anything here… -"You like pussy - -And cats" -Yeah we can tell you like pussy -Smells like low tide at the wharf -"You must be renting that massive space on your forehead to pay for the ""pole"" dancing." -"25 😂. Nah, you like you’ve already been through your first divorce. Hence the cats. I’m callin at least 38." -Pole dancing? More like I beam dancing in your case -The only pole you’re dancing on is a dildo. -"Fiancé gums, Hocus Pocus cat, pole dancing, and bruxism. You're the human embodiment of Tumblr." -"""I just want to feel something, give me what you got"" is exactly the same pickup line she uses to try and get any man to actually have sex with her" -You could hold onto the pole with your chin -Do you pole dance with your cats? -When pole dancing people pay you tips to stop. -"My god, pic 3 you look like a deranged semen demon" -"It’s as if “my apartment smells like weed, pussy, and bottom notes of cat piss” were a person." -Billy Relish -Why are you taking a shit on your lawn? -So there's two reasons your place smells like tuna... -"You're the one JD Vance warned us about. - -Edit for typo" -You feel like a good person trying to have a bad girl image just to impress ur crush and miserably failing at it. -Surprised the pole can stay hard enough for your dancing -I feel like we could be good friends but I also feel like you’d be my “cautionary tale” friend that I’d refer to a lot when you weren’t there. -"Telephone pole dancer, yep I can see it." -Id be wearing of you dancing on anything but a stone column -"The only reason you stay till closing on swingers night, isn’t because you hope someone is desperate enough to take you home. But so you can steal the left over shrimp for your cats to buy their affection." -"I could help you feel something, but it would just be disappointment and dispair and lots of depression and self loathing after. You seem like you've felt enough of that though. Sorry I couldn't help." -A pole dancing cat lady? -Cats AND pole dancing? Who hurt you? -Happy to hear that a stripper pole is made for your weight class. Your OF page must be a great success. -I’ll pay you to put your clothes back on. -third pic looks like you want to BE a cat -Got them Birch trees for legs. -You stopped pole dancing because the pole bends sideways -Little goth but I’d hit -"Damn, how many poles you break or bend in a week? Lookin like 2 Hippos tryin to wrestle in a black sleepin bag. P.s. fatty’s are gross!" -comment -"My dude you have stupid tattooed on your forehead, what do you need us for" -My high school desk looks all grown up -I think you can farm karma/upvotes everyday for a year on r/shittytattoos with original content only -"sorry, were not hiring" -So you're the guy all those t-shirts are pointing to. -You got some shit on your face hommie... -Have you ever made a good decision? -"I can’t roast you. All I see is a broken man. I don’t even know you, but I can see right through you. Stay sober and stop self-destructing, bro. Take care of yourself…you’re worth it. I promise." -"Bro, I've seen public toilets with less scribble on their doors and walls, than on your face and upper body." -This is an honest question. What made you get the face tats? Like why would you do that? -Nobody can sue you for false advertising because of your tattooing Stupid on your forehead -"Is this RoastMe request sponsored by Sharpie? - -You look like a front runner for Mr April on the Cartels 2025 calendar" -How you look like the suspect AND the victim of a hate crime? -“The chair does not recognize Mr. Low Self Esteem and will continue to ignore him. Thank you.” -"Holy fuck my dude. I can't even roast you. Like, the forehead tattoo....I just can't even." -I've been looking for someone to do low quality welds or sell me the worst concrete slab ever poured. It looks like I've found him. -“Do I look like an idiot to you!? It’s like I have STUPID tattooed on my forehead!” … oh wait -"So what's it like never having to answer, ""So where do you work?""" -If a middle school desk magically became a person -"Reminds me of that joke where im in a room with a gun, two bullets, you, hitler, and manson but I still decide you should get both rounds." -I don't think the stupid tattoo is big enough -You were ‘told’ wrong OP! Imma suggest r/mugshots. -Holy shit. I can't believe someone would actually choose to do this to themself -Insane Clown Pussy -You look like the gang member that gets beaten up by the boss -"Alright, I need to hear the story. How did you get those tattoos? - -Meth ? Mental health ? Had a sleep over at a tattoo parlour and was the first one asleep ?" -I had a desk in middle school that looked just like you. Including the chewing gum for ears. -"I swear the first thing I thought when I saw the first pick was ""if stupid had a face"". Then I saw the second pic and low and behold" -"Holy shit bro, you wrote stupid on yourself? Way worse than anything we could say. That was your choice? I guess it's probably true" -I see prison changed TheBudday -"You’ve got ‘STUPID’ written on your forehead, but somehow that’s still not the dumbest decision you’ve made." -His favorite candy is Everlasting Jobstoppers -They say an inmate gets a tattoo every time he takes it up the ass. Guess you are the first one hoping for a life sentence. -"Face tats are your personality... Well, face tats and felonies." -"It looks like your fellow inmates said they would not fuck you in the ass if you get the ""Stupid"" tattoo; then they proceeded to fuck your ass." -For how many years were you Bubba’s cell mate? -"I read your CV/Resume and your profile checks out. We need someone to frighten Grannies down at the Old Folks Meetings to make sure there’s no violence. Every Tuesday and Thursday from 2-5pm. You get a stab-vest and a pair of Brass Knuckles. They’ll need disinfecting after any use, don’t want old dears dying do we?" -"This dude was probably awesome back when he smoked meth, now he's just a united supermarket team lead. Not a bad life, but it's not as good as crushing a 24 pack in the driveway, spun out of your mind on a 7 day bender, laying in the bed of ur pickup truck waiting for ""people"" to try to rob you. While the demons tell you to pour bleach on your dick, after the questionable hookup you had the night before." -I would’ve kept the hat on homie 😂 -When keeping it real goes wrong -Dude looks like a desk in detention -You look like the table in the back of a classroom -"Out of all the people that molested you, which was your favorite?" -"Nah, You’re tattoo guy already permanently roasted you." -First time I see someone tattooing their name on the forehead. -"It's a face, not a public bathroom stall." -You literally don't belong anywhere. -Stupid is as stupid does. And you’ve does a lot of stupid. -What’s the point? You disgrace yourself. -... did you pay money for those tattoos? -That is pretty awesome that you let your neighborhood kids to do your ink! -"When’s the last time someone agreed to fuck you for free? - -For research purposes. I’m conducting a study…" -Impossible to roast something this embarrassing -"Guy can fall asleep anywhere, safe in the knowledge that no one can draw anything worse on his head." -You look like a middle school kids notebook -"*""It's a thin line between trying to be tough/intimidating & just outright ridiculous""*" -sir you are on the wrong reddit. r/shittytattoos is where you meant to post. -"Wtf is the big deal?? -My man just needs to add the -"" I -ain't"" -above the forehead tatt and BADDABOOM! You legit again" -One more tat and its blackface -"So what you’re saying in the 2nd photo is that United Supermarkets will basically hire anyone ? - --edit: I was high so used “higher” instead of “hire”" -Prison Mike -Well it looks like you started the roast early -"What the fuck is on your face, moron" -Halloween just ended ....but (just a suggestion)... have you considered wearing a mask for the other 364 days of the year? -With the hat.. you look kind ganged up.. without the hat you look like a gym teacher that lost a bet! -Forehead tattoo is accurate -"Tattoo Artist : so what kinda ink you’re looking to get? -Just gimme the MS 13 special" -I think they meant r/shittytattoos -Power bottom Mexican prisoner. -Fuck me! Roast you!? You already did it to yourself -Did you get drunk and pass out at a prison tattoo convention? -"You look like you live a life filled with regrets, if you dont, you should." -IQ 51 Checks out -"My mom always used to ask me when I tried to lie, “do I look like I’ve got stupid written on my face??” Today I get to show her someone who actually does…" -The poster boy for unemployment -What the ACTUAL FUCK am I looking at???? -"There is absolutely no way you did not get that ""STUPID"" tattooed on your forehead anywhere other than prison. - -So I gotta know- what did you do to make them give that to you? Initiation or punishment?" -"This is photoshopped, right?" -"The forehead tat is unnecessary, the other ones already tell us all we need to know." -I’ve never actually seen anyone label themselves correctly. -"I have genuinely never seen someone utterly fuck up their life photo by photo outside of a Meth PSA. - - -You should given yourself the name.""Nadir"" as you are beyond the point of return." -And no ink on his little skinny arms -Well at least you have self awareness. -Damn you must’ve really fucked up to get STUPID on your forehead. Pissed off the wrong people is what it looks like -Pretty sure you roast yourself every day leaving the house looking like that. -If regret was a living organism. -I don’t think you belong anywhere…… -Nope. Belongs over at r/shittytattoos -Bad Life Choices: the person -Hard to beat that forehead roast. -You are surprisingly self aware with that forehead tattoo. -Forehead tattoo fits. -Youre right -"After seeing a picture of you, I'm beginning to buy what Trump was selling. - -I don't care if you're an immigrant of not - I just want you on a mass deportation bus back to somewhere far away." -Can you say “unemployable”? -As master Obiwan once said “You have done that yourself” -"Are you a scrap or a peckerwood -Genuine question" -Dude what the fuck -"Alexa, define poor judgement" -Looking like Post Postpone 🙏 -"Someone actually hired you? -United must really desperate and scrapping the bottom of the barrel if slipped through the cracks." -"Nah damn the roast, why the hell do you have “stupid” tatted on your forehead? In the biggest font imaginable?!" -"The sign on his right cheek says: ""Aim here.""" -"No regrets I see, not even a forehead" -Nothing to roast here guys... His forehead beat us to it -This is the first time I’ve seen the OP do a better job of roasting themselves than the comments -Was this post a condition of your parole release? -A man who makes great life decisions. 🙄 -You don’t belong anywhere -"Do you see Stupid tattooed across my forehead? Oh wait, shit…" -Dudes got a 10 on his chin. His prison throat rating. -At least you are honest… -What’s the biggest STUPID decision you’ve ever made? 😂 -Stupid is as stupid does. -Don't leave your half-empty modelos around this foo -When he looks in the mirror he wonders “Why does it say DIPUTS on my forehead?” -"Dang, I’d have that hat tattooed on." -I'm just going to assume that you lost a bet and your choices were to get a tattoo of stupid on your forehead or suck a dick.... -"Sorry for your face dude. Are you still proud of it or have you matured enough to realize it was -Fucking stupid." -"They don’t call them AB tattoos anymore, they call them mildly obese nerdy white dude tattoos" -I can't roast you OP but hope you're ok! Maybe look at getting that shit removed -You look like you’ve lived a life without any ragerts -You have a double chin -Words of wisdom to consider my friend…”Don’t drop the soap”. -I’ll take “people who should be sterilized” for 500$ please -How's unemployment for you? -"His mother is wondering if it's too late for an abortion while his father tells people his son is a convicted paedophile who died in an auto-erotic asphyxiation accident, neither of them are willing to confess that this walking disappointment is the product their having an incestuous tryst." -"You're making very good life choices, sir." -“Why is he wearing that ugly thing on his hea—-ohhhhhhhh….” -Nice to see gangs participate in Make-A-Wish -I'd have loved to be a fly on the wall during the United interview as this guy sits here with Stupid on his forehead. -So how many decades did you spend in prison? -I didn't know jails had timeshares. -At least they didn't tattoo penises on you when you were passed out -Well at least you are self aware. -Ohhhh shit someone fell asleep at the party first 😆 -Price check on a douche isle 9. (See his shirt emblem). -I'm sure you've *never* been arrested. -Is this why dudes wear backward hats all the way down over their eyebrows? -"Man….George Castanza really hit a low point after Seinfeld ended, huh?" -White Boy A.K.A “Cholo Gringo” with stupid tattooed on forehead…pretty much sums it up. -A walking Billboard of Idiocy! -We get it. You had a good time in prison. -Your forehead says it all. -Since when do the let people paint their cells? America is too soft on crime -How'd you get a job? -Jesus H... you are the type that sits across people on the bus. They are scared of you... and you are terrified of them.... -"""This is your brain on drugs, any questions?""" -"Nothing anyone can say here will trump tattooing ""stupid"" on your own forehead." -When you order Post Malone from wish -"He always looses the ""do i look like i have stupid written across my forehead?"" argument every time" -This is what my dad meant when he asked me if he had stupid written across his forehead.. i see it now. -You can slap as much paint on a turd as you want it's still gonna look like shit -And he's not gay if he just let's it sit in his mouth till the swelling goes down? -"He and his girlfriend thought it was hilarious that she had “I’m With” tattooed on her forehead. - -Even though she “mysteriously” passed away right after she cheated on him, he keeps the gag going by storing her decapitated head in his deep freeze." -Schizo Rick Moranis -He’s in the middle stages of transitioning into the side of an inner city train car. -After Big Bubba treated him like a toilet he tagged him up like one as well -"Dude you come with a branding label, at what point did it all go to shit? Which drug or drugs was it?" -I see your name is on your forehead -So tempted to comment but don't want to get murdered. -If regret had a face.. -What a tough guy. I’m shaking in my boots. -"“Thankz 4 da F-shack, luv Dirty Mike n Da Boyz.”" -You look like you've done 15 years in prison for possession of child p¤rn 💀 -"middle aged man who enjoys music, tattoos, prison time and working dead end jobs ." -Dude moonlights as a railcar. -did you fall asleep first at the sleepover? -A gloryhole’s circumference has less graffiti than your face and that tells a fucking lot -And here I was thinking everyone looks stupid wearing a hat inside -well at least you are self aware -What is the over/ under on this dude winding up .. BACK in prison by the end of 2025? -Did you lose a bet? -Post ... Alone. -I never comment… but what is wrong with you? -When people get Stupid tattooed on their forehead... believe them. -Guy wears headphones because he can hear his face. -The My dad left to get cigarettes starter pack -How do I roast a person who already tattooed STUPID on his forehead? You already spoke for yourself dawg -"I have a theory that all people with face tattoos are morons, still yet to be disproved." -"Tattoo artist here. -There's a reason I refuse to do face tattoos." -You're stupid and brave. This is the first roastme that made me go wtf -"This guy does vandalism to himself and to society. - - Every choice he's ever made has ruined somebody's life. - -Babies question their own existence when they see him. - -Dogs cowar to his scent." -The tattoos say everything -"Guess your friends can wear the ""I'm with stupid ➡️"" shirt and it would make sense" -"Hey everyone...look at ME!! -Over here! LOOK!! -Look at MEEEE 🙄 - -Please - go get some consealer and some integrity." -That forehead tattoo couldn't be more right! -if mental illness had a mascot -When the other prisoners grow bored of your prolapsed anus. -"Literally no need, you did that yourself." -"You look like they had to correct the way you spelt the word ""stupid"" before they tattooed it" -Damn bro. You might be the biggest loser I’ve ever seen. The epitome of a loser. That’s huge. -"Holycow the ""stupid"" Tattoo across your face says it all." -Repost Malone. -"well your job prospects are slim. then again, you probably have a good chance at becoming a US President" -You have already roasted yourself with the big “STUPID” across your forehead. I mean are you stupid? -If that's what the other inmates did your your face i can only imagine what they did to your asshole -Only a chomo would have stupid permanently on their forehead. -"Hey look, the chomo from the PC rock just got released…" -"If open to it, should do an AMA, here or some tattoo sub. Your story has to be interesting, I’m sure it’s filled with things you’re proud of, things you’re not and a ton of “you had to be there but here it is”. Best of luck on your journey, without making any assumptions, stay focused, people around you love you and keep moving forward." -Who is going to Hire you? Do you even work? -Bro comes with his own captions -No need to roast you your tattoo artist did all the work for me -"Why hello, Lom McBonald" -I could limbo under your self-esteem -The prettiest set of eyes and lips on his cell block -"No need for me to roast you, you have the word Stupid tattooed on your forehead. You are fucked enough." -Your face looks like a tagged train box car geezus krist broke Malone -So how many Trump flags do you fly from your F-250? -"Brother, you have deep deep abandonment issues, please seek therapy and stop the self destructive behavior, I know you have probably never felt like you fit in, but trying to reject society before it can reject you will never give you the peace you want." -He looks like he was the first to fall asleep at an all boys sleepover -I don’t have anything to add  -"DUDE, this isnt a roast yet. You need to send your pics to YMH studios. You will 100% be on as they make fun of you. I'm genuinely telling you to email or send ymh a message. They'll find you and you'll be famous!" -Are you still eating the neighborhood cats? -Thank you for posting. You are a unique individual and some of these roasts had me rolling on the floor. Especially the person who compared you to an elementary school desk that was fn hilarious. You brightened up my day and I hope you are having fun reading these too. Don't take any of it personal! -Dudes gonna jack off to ur comments -4 head tat is the only one that makes sense -Does tattoos for all the 16yr old girls in the trailer park -Can't argue with his forehead -Does stupid work? -"Wheres the belly tattoo that says ""I'm fat because after every time I fuck your mom,she makes me a sandwich""" -"What do u take me for, does it say stupid in my forehe… - -Nvm…" -I can’t….your daughter did enough damage with her markers already.. -Fuck the roast man. If you've done this to yourself I can tell you're hurting inside. Stay away from the self-destruction and stay sober. You are loved -Hello -"Ok, shot in the dark, have you experienced some traumatic shit as a child? Because it shows.." -"I would roast you for your face tattoos, but in this case, I think they've helped." -"Dude, there is tattoo removal that is affordable. You're not dumb, just lost. Get those removed and start over. I'm gonna assume you lost your shit on Hallucinogenics. Come on buddy get it together." -If riverside was a person -"You do have fat ankles though. they make those nice shoes look horrible. is someone insecure about there weight?? is that why you got so butt hurt ?? and destroy me out can't be any worse than your childhood so I suppose you can ""destroy"" me now... And who is everyone else ?? Do you also have multiple personalities?? Well I'll be waiting for your destroying comment back. You can come up with someone better than Utah mother fucker rite .?? And everyone is talking about punctuation rite. Your messing it up for me here, I thought for sure you had it rite. And then your last message. Horrible just horrible talk about someone's grammar and punctuation than not do it in your message. Highly disappointed 😞☹️ make the next one better so I can be there attention here. 🥱🥱😭😭😀😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣" -"Knowing there is laser tattoo removal available, this then becomes a personal decision to keep something that probably makes life ,at times, difficult. You can even find the laser available for purchase if you know where to look. Having said that, no where other than prison, is this going to honestly be an acceptable expression of self that will be accepted by society as a whole. I also understand that is the exact reason people do it. So what am I saying here? Be you, do you. If life gets too tough, there IS an out." -I need a back story. -i like them lol -"No hate at all. Remove the face tats, start loving yourself & have a happy life my friend. - -Everyone you see is struggling, so be kind to yourself, understand that you deserve all life has to offer just like everyone else & realize that where ever you are in life you can start from there & make your life what you want it to be. - -I’m cheering for you brother." -Honestly genius. Your forehead is a literal 4th wall break. This guy is on cutting edge of discovering other dimensions. -"Too easy, pass" -"I think people should stick to using their minds as a canvas, not their body’s" -Thank you for making me feel better about my tattoo. -You look like the school desk at the back of the room -comment -Salim Shady -They got a Mr. Bean for every ethnicity. -You are obviously one of the 72 virgins that are so often talked about. -"Your face says 1983 Saddam Hussein with fewer friends, but your body says mental patient with no friends. Also, your fingers say chronic masturbator." -Your eyes are so close together they are almost in the same socket. -"Yeah, I can see why you guys blow yourselves up." -"So hot, i rate you 9/11" -Are you an eye man or an ankle man? -"Now I get the blockade on Qatar – it wasn’t politics, it was a regional intervention to keep you from crossing the border. - -You look like a rejected intern from the Ministry of Overconfidence and Underachievement, whose entire personality revolves around a scratched-up Land Cruiser, double parking outside the mall while making creepy eye contact at every non-niqabi you see, and withholding your maid’s passport like it’s a family heirloom." -Arab Doofy from Scary Movie -You look like you disappointed your parents by wasting your college degree and working in a convenience store to prove your love to your to your Caucasian girlfriend named Richard -Those skinny fingers couldn’t create a bomb if they tried -You are looking assad as possible. -"""Burn me to crisps 🔥"" - -\*Just take your hat off and walk outside during the day." -If you crossed your eyes your pupils would touch. -Incelshallah -You look like Freddy Mercury if he was AI generated as a muslim -I bet you can hear us roasting you across the globe. -Sadman Pussay -Rich Arabs have six wives and ten sex slaves cleaning their homes. You have one 68 year old Bangladeshi woman who charges you $1 per month and you're behind on payments. -Prince of No Labia -You let your camel ride you... mother bitch. -I bet flying is fun for you. -Osama never-Bin Laiden -Why are you posting on Reddit? Didn’t you just flee to Moscow seeking asylum? -They call you the greatest oil sheik but thats because you smell like gas stations -"You look like a devout, religious, family man that flies women in on the weekend to pee on him in hotels." -Even 72 virgins will ignore you. -This is why they have arranged marriages. -"Close your ears, you're blocking my Wi-Fi signal." -can you use that rope on your hat to tie your clown ears back? -Your face is smaller than your phone -Don’t need cable when you already have integrated satellite dishes -I bet you can hear other people's thoughts. -Where's my damn shawarma?! -"When I see that face I think: Good God, where does that plane go to?" -At least you can clearly hear the cries of the people you oppress -You're never going to find a husband with that facial hair Miss. -Uhm …age hasn’t been good to Aladdin… -You look like you’re going to self explode any minute now -You trafficking children in those ears? -You look like a Mexican who is roleplaying as a middle eastern man. -"He’s not actually from the UAE, he’s called Brian and he’s from Huddersfield. He’s just a bit of a prick that’s all…" -How often do they *randomly* check you at the airport? -"Judging from the look on your face, the goat was in a mood today." -May the jet fuel ease your journey into the after life brother! -Closest this guys gets to any action is at the TSA check point. -"Don’t worry buddy, you’ll burn to crisps when the bomb goes off." -Just keep waiving those ears to oxygenate the roast. -The face of a man who's failed his bombing class -You look like you’ve had a conversation with Chris Hansen. -I wonder if this post will blow up? -This is ironic… because “burn to a crisp” is what you keep posting online that you’re going to do to all the “infidels”. -I can smell you through this picture. -Look like hot dog with eyes and mustache -"Not gonna bash you, you look pretty good for having survived repeated stonings for being a homosexual" -i bet your name is Muhammad -Bro your fingers are gross -A face not even 72 virgins could love. -This ain't the twin tower reddit page bruddah -"When you flap your ears, how far do you glide?Please provide short gif. Thank you." -I’d look grumpy af too if I had to dress like a tampon every day. -You look like you almost have an extra chromosome. -I’m just here to say this is one of the best roasts I’ve seen in a while. Thank you for your sacrifice 🫡 -You look like you ejaculate pure hummus. -I bet this guy's birthday is 9/11 -When your wife wants a bomb time but all you have to show is a small kebab -You look pretty tall! What are you like 9’11”? -Your mustache is………….the bomb -"When you were born, Allah was on Vacation!" -"Damn, you are so roastable" -"I just want to thank you for posting this. The comments are hilarious, the comedy is real, this brightened my day🤣👌" -Arabic Mr. Potato Head -He looks like he hunts foreign laborers by drone for sport. -Haven’t you burned enough people already? -Lookin like a old school Cadillac with the doors open -Introduction to 'Inbreeding 101'. -"Can’t get women to look at you. So, you married your 12 year old cousin through an arranged (read: forced) marriage because “Sharia says it’s cool.” Now that she’s 18 she’s moved out of the country and fucking your best friend who got out of your cult, . And your buddy obviously got the better end of the gene pool. Why would you even post here? There’s so much material." -You look like the bastard son of Colonel Sanders after he had too much whiskey one night and fucked his cab driver. -"I can’t, you own all the oil." -Im sure if u press the button connected to ya vest ...you will roast yaself -"Only way bro gets a woman is by taking away all their rights, and marrying them before they've had a chance to develop any taste." -Fingers to play the piano well. Ears to hear me play the piano badly from across the globe. -Aren’t you supposed to burn yourself to a crisp? -I bet you know how to fly planes into the ground -Why don't you have to cover your face when you go out in public? -You look like a duck. 🦆 -I think genetics were effective enough. -You look like one of the guys from super troopers got lost in the UAE and decided to make the best of it. -I don't even have to type my roast. I just say it out loud and undoubtedly you can hear me. -How much have you spent to fly out American college chicks to shit on? -"You look like an Arab temu Tom Selleck. - -Wtf is with those alien fingers - -You definitely get your butthole fingered by TSA every plane trip you take. And probably go through security just to spice up a Saturday night. - -You look like every cartoon terrorist ever drawn. - - -Ok that's all I got have a good one hope it made someone smile a little. - -Edit to add... i see those tissues on your desk. And bet the lotion is behind you. Is it beastiality or gay furry porn on the other tab?" -I bet you hear em drones comin -Did you steal your ears from a Mr PotatoHead? -You should go steal something asap so they can chop that awful right hand off -Give Slenderman his hands back ! -Alien Face-Huggers for hands. -God was not most great with you my sir -I’d roast you but I don’t feel like getting beheaded today -I hope when you meet your 72 virgins they're all redpilled incels -Just get on a plane and let it land buddy -"When skydiving, you dont need a parachute. Your ears will handle this." -I hope your parents arranged your marriage when you were young. -I feel like if I roast you I’ll be murdered by someone. -U look like you are going to board a plane -You look like you can't even get one wife. -Youll do it yourself in the name of Allah you don't need us -I can’t cause I’m to busy getting scam calls all day -Quit flying those fucking drones over new jersey -"If you eat pork, you’d definitely will burn to a crisp" - A face only an arranged cousin could love. -"You look like your parents are cousins, wait they're lol" -Your parents will do that for you when they meet your boyfriend. -You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals -"If you were gay, your people would do it for you 🔥" -At least you've got your failed arranged marriage to look forward to. -The ears help dissipate heat. -"أذانيك كبر الباب و هالاتك تنفع ا��ياس و مشهب -مافهم الفكره الي تعجبك في الحركات ذي أتوقع انه kink من نوع ما -Anw overall eww/10" -When you order a terrorist on Temu -Brother eeeuuuuuuuwww -If ur here? Whos hijacking the plane? -Rowan Atkinsonanaj -"The vest under your clothes might do it first..... - -(I'm sorry)" -Now I understand what they mean when they say %20-%50 of Arabs are inbred. -With those ears you can he what others think. -i dont need to burn you and you know why -Probably a Cristiano Ronaldo fan that get aroused when someone call him 'goat' -"The bomb should roast you when it goes off, sir." -I think youd do it to yourself anyways -nice tissue box next to the computer monitor -Can you hear all this? -Are you a “pilot”? -Roasting? for you stoning. -"With those ears idk why al queda even bothered hijacking planes, they coulda just rode u" -The Arab version of Dumbo -I’d cover 90% of my body if I was shaped like that too -Hassan bin Sober -"Authorities, I saw this man eating pork in a casino and drinking a beer. Pretty sure he called his god a bitch. - - - -Done." -"One would have thought the sun would do that to you in desert by now but nah, you just charred " -The backpack and Allah will do it for us -Looks like dude works at the Allah snack bar. -You must pee oil -72 virgins and they’re all first cousins. -You look like if you were fired from a canon the shock wave alone would knock down towers. -فشخوك -"Nah, I'll just wait for your vest to detonate" -This guy loves tea boys -You could fly away with those ears -Why? You a woman? -“Burn me to crisps”... im sure you’ll do that yourself some day -"If Osama Bin Laden had a brother as ugly as you, he would have directed the jets to your house instead." -Good morning pineapple -"With em ears you don’t need to hijack a plane, you can just fly yourself and crash against any important American building" -dumbo called wants his ears back -"They tried to send a msg to your pager, but your ears must have picked up the signal instead." -"Too easy. - -You look like your fetish is smelling the gunt between your toes. - -It's like you ask you mom for help finding a date." -The west loved mr potato head.. now introducing Mr kofte head -How do you have internet? -Bet you could hear me think from there -This is the result of interfering with Darwinism -"Don’t need to, a cruise missile will do it for me" -No way this dude is getting his 72 virgins... Even they're not that desparate. -Dude just blow yourself cuz ain't no girl blowing you -ISIS? More like ISisn’t -If generational disappointment was a person. -You could fly yourself into the twin towers with your ears alone -Whoever did your Ferengi makeup really nailed it. -"Good morning pineapple, you can't leave the hotel." -We can’t do any worse than life has already done to you. -Even instagram prostitutes reject you -You look like a comedian. What do you do for work? -"Quickly, before he roasts us!! 🤣" -"Dude, just put yourself out of your misery." -I'm definitely not getting on a plane with you -"Jasmine doesn't hide the smell of goat pussy, bro." -You look like a sheik who drives for Uber. -Bro got sonar detection hooked up to his vest. -You're fine. You just look like you're stuck in a middle level job and take shit from both sides. -"Nice try, Didi" -LMAO -They didn’t burn they melted. -"Your 72 virgins want to remain that way, Achmed" -you look like your all ears -I’d rather stone you -No wonder you guys sleep with kids. -"You would know all about how to burn crisps, since you know the melting point of steel beams" -You made me forget that 9/11 was an inside job -"Burn you? - -Isn't that the vest's job?" -"Do you belive in Allah, or do you have to belive in Allah? Look what he gave you." -"If I wanted to be responsible for burning you to crisps, I’d just pay for your next flight" -"I bet your head would explode if you saw a cartoon of the ""Prophet""." -You'll probably do that to your self aswell as a plane 💀 -Kkk really down bad huh... -"Bro you look like if a pig touched you, he would have to do the gusl." -Sorry for your regime falling -Roast him before he roasts us -When your 80 year old father kick you out for his 4th wife. You were probably from the 1st. -Careful y’all them big ears got radar no doubt -When you inherit a few millions less then your brother from 7th wife of your father. -"What... I mean seriously. - - - -This is either a troll or a terrorist who gets off on the idea of people burning to a crisp. - - -Either way...the dude in the picture has certainly fucked a goat before." -You have the fingers of a bomb maker. -WHAT ARE THOSE FINGERS FUCKING HELL -Please don’t burn us to a crisp -You look like a really good listener. -Tissue right by PC? 👀 -Do they get satellite tv or just cable.? -This is a superb way to improve international relations. Seriously. Humor heals divides. -"“The Uber is here, Mohammed!”" -No fly list -"Are you bringing the gold, frankincense or myrrh? Happy holidays." -Osama Been Lonely -"“Burn me to crisps 🔥” - -I’m sure you already made your wife and child do that to themselves in the name of Allah." -So this is what camel turds look like -Didn't the Syrian people just try to? -The flying school suddenly shuts shop and everybody hides when they see you coming. -"*Wears ideological attire* -Has no firm ideologies or sense of self" -I'm sure you heard my roast. -With your ears you don't need a airplain to fly into a tower. -You can hear the future. -"Anybody remember Quark, the Ferengi on Star Trek: Next Gen? So, yeah…" -"There's 72 virgins waiting for you. -Bad news is, they're all male goats." -If you want to be burned to crisps just drive through your hometown. I’m sure you’ll hit an IED -Ear-sama bin crap-tash -"My man goes swimming with that shemagh on, I saw it.... NERD!" -Didn’t your cousin do that on 9/11 -I think the bomb will do that for me -You'll do it yourself once the bomb goes off. -All of your 72 virgins are male -Get your ears trimmed or start wearing sunglasses on top of your forehead -You know those 72 virgins they promise? You are definitely one of them. -Last face Jamal Khasoggi… saw -Oh boy -The local goats look forward to Eid-al-Adha each year to finally escape you... -"Dude, what bet did you lose?" -Looking like the Saudi prince who got cut out of the oil business ! -"This isn’t supposed to be a burn… real talk. - -Do you or any of your friend network own some wild exotic pets like a lion or a spider monkey? - -Like, is that shit for real?" -wheres your 6 year old wife -Inbreeding since the Epic of Gilgamesh. -Is this a joke 😂 -Ali-dumbo -"Come on brother, daddy's money couldn't fix those ears?" -"I would say something mean , but afraid you'd bomb my ass." -This guys dad fucked a goat. And here he is. -Ears like open car doors. -"Fucking hell, despite being rich your life is shit isn't it?" -"Im afraid if i try to burn you, you will burn towers in my country" -temu saudi prince -It's way too easy. 🤷‍♂️ -"Why can I smell this picture? Also, did you take this pic after plucking your unibrow?" -"Somebody mentioned 72 virgins, I didn’t know they were all dudes like this!" -"Your traditional headwear provides the perfect opportunity to hide your ears, but those things are unstoppable!" -Looking serious but we know how dumb are you -"Why the fancy hat? You can cool yourself with those ears, just start waving them." -"""Burn me to crisps"" - -just press the button for your vest" -I’ll just say it out loud cuz you look like you could hear me from the Middle East -Bros ears can hear Sign Language -"This is the least halal looking picture I've seen , mr. Porky." -"This mf so ugly that even when he goes boom, those virgins still ain't fuckin him." -"Okay I agree, there's things that money can't buy" -How does it feel to be one of those rare poor Arabs? -Bro has that Dubai $$$ that'll make any beautiful woman hard to resist him -Looks like you can hear what I am thinking with those ears! -Are your eyes blue? Cause one blew left one blew right  -Being called Dubai isn’t a compliment -Sure you wouldn't prefer getting blown up? -When are your ears going to catch up to that big ass head? -Dude can hear if a woman is driving within 100 miles. -"wtf dude! Come on we can all see that dot. - -clearly this is a Indian in a Muslim costume" -"With ears that big, at least you can hear all of the insults." -You can hear light -Pretty sure your backpack will do that for us -You are both the poster child of why arranged marriages are needed and dreaded for your people. -Most Roast mes have a few hundred responses. You’ve got a couple thousand! You’re a winner! -Stop…just stop…he’s already dead…. -I can only think of racist stuff. Is it still allowed? -No problem. Just need your satellite coordinates. -I'd think you were about to bomb me if you didn't have the depth perception of a fucking cyclopes. -"He's ""Da Bomb,"" literally" -Aren’t you guys the best at roasting yourselves? -Yeah I have a feeling you’re gonna do that yourself…. -I thought the IDF already did -"""Burn me to a crisp"" I thought that was your plan all along." -No lie I been making these post my discord pics and letting them roast it and come back and say what they said -Elon will use those ears as a baseline design for his new rocket to the next galaxy -"Conjoined eyebrows and a porn-stash was a *choice*! It also seems like you choose the hair style to most exentuate your larger than average ear size, which was another interesting *choice*. - -Lastly, it’s okay for men to wear concealer. Just a fun fact that you may be interested in…" -Burn me to A crisp...ok now I would rather not given all the flammable materials you are are wearing upon your person 👍but I could pick you up by those ears on put you on the mantle piece an Asian vase -You look like you can hear the 72 Virgins and they're all talking about how big your ears are -You look like a meme. -Sort of looks like an Arabic “Buster Bluth”… -"""I'm too sexy for my phone, i'm too sexy for my shirt, i'm too sexy for my hat..""" -"I'd try, but the updraft from the heat would probably make you take off with those massive ears. I don't need a roast turning into a flight risk." -"Bro, you’re out here looking like the CEO of a hummus empire—ready to seal deals and steal hearts, one falafel at a time!" -I think youll do that to yourself with a few pounds of c4 next week -Your ears look like they’re trying to say hi to me -Not even daddies oil money can fix those ears -Your favorite battleship play is C-4. -I didn’t know any of the highjackers survived 9/11 but clearly you did and it makes sense considering how heinous your face looks. -All the youngest camels love you. -Is there a clause in your contract where you can get your 72 virgins before carrying out your jihad? Asking for a friend -"How do you guys tell each other apart? - - -Is there a law that you have to have a horrible 1970s gay porn star mustach like the one you have?" -Is Roast Me the 2024 version of Phone Home -Burn? Really? -You’ll eventually do it on your own -Dirka dirka jihad.  -Damn your eyes are really close together -"Yalla habibi, those ears jetting out so much your face looks like a panorama picture" -Ears like pee wee turban -"Your lips better use your ears to fly away, because that mustache has got them surrounded." -You look like you can only afford 2 lambos. 😔 -"Dude, you look extremely unhappy. I don't think I could come up with anything worse than your life has already given you. - -Hope you start feeling happier somehow" -comment -If you are 23 then I ain't even born yet. -You look like you need a backup generator for your vibrator -You look like you change vape cartridges more often than you change clothes -Every guy that dates you literally has to pretend \*those\* arent the only reason. -23? Fucking hell -23? Is this post from 2004? -Them titties look like they need deodorant. So just toss one over your shoulder and make sure you get in between your flaps. -You look like if the PE teacher and the English teacher had a kid -"“Please look at me tits and not my face please look at my tits and not my face” - -Take care of those tits, I suspect they do a lot of the heavy lifting in your life." -"You're cute but you scream ""Weed is my personality."" and ""I will poke holes in the condom if you try to leave.""" -You typed 43 wrong -How many selfies did you have to take to land on… those? -You look like you suffer from the female equivalent of premature ejaculation… -Sandra Bullock with a crippling heroin addiction -On the bright side you have two good reasons not to look at your face. -What happened to your teeth? Did you get them pulled after they tore off your upper lip? -You smell like an old couch. -If hit it once and never call back was a person -You look like you should be avoided at public gatherings -I can tell that your belly button is between your nipples if leave out the bra. -"All I see is a waste of a perfectly good set of tits. The tits of a model, the face of the runway they walk on." -The red skin might be from that herpes on you lip -Your skin is always red. Your bathrooms mirrors are always disgusting. You gotta be single af 😂 or got 4 kids 😎 -Dime store Jessica Rabbit -"Every one of these 'roast me' threads is just some slag who's completed Tinder, waving their tits around and demanding any sort of attention from strangers. It's just cringe." -You're younger than me and still look like you could be my mom -5 bucks says her step dad subscribes to her of -Your shoulders have shoulders. -Scientists are trying to figure out how long human can live without a brain. You can tell them your age. -Looks like you sleep with all of your friends and share the same straw -"So, what's your OF?" -You look like you’ve pissed in more baths than you’ve washed in -You look like you call your vagina “cat”. -"All this low effort attention-seeking for no economic benefit, that's a whole new level of dysfunction" -You look like you got discounts for rent -If the Mariana Trench was a person. -I bet you’ve spent many nights by your phone wondering if that guy you let smash last night is going to call. He isn’t. -This is why siblings shouldn't fuck. -You look like you give free blowies for a starbucks tea -You look like a 35 year old in recovery that is fighting your eviction from section 8 housing. -Daddy’s little disappointed! -"Your rack will never make up for your boy face. I can tell that’s what you’re trying to do and that’s also part of the problem. Definitely lost your virginity behind some sports bleachers, or in the back of an accord. Editing because I just saw that hitler stach worth of hair in your armpit in the last photo." -You would make thousands if you made a faceless OF. -This is at least your 7th year as a 23-year-old. -If Chlamydia had a face -Clean your fucking mirror instead of getting people to roast you you filthy whore. -You look like you have bad breath and yellow stained teeth. -"Drawing a sunflower with crayons doesn't make you seem younger.  Pretty sure there's a pot roast waiting to be taken out, you still need to finish sorting the laundry, and your teenage kids will need picking from baseball in half an hour so you'd better hurry up!" -A perfect blend of the best parts of PornHub Velma and the worst parts of Sheila Broflovski -You look like you bring the local property market down. -Your linebacker shoulders/ top heaviness and that big ass nose are the only things that I can pay attention to in these pics -When the farmer’s daughter goes rogue -You're probably the reason aliens don't make contact. -You look like you run the Ted Bundy fan fic website during your lunch break at Wendy's. -r/dontputyourdickinthat -You seem like you love telling people you have a boyfriend when you don't. -Stop apologizing and get naked I don't have all day! -Worry about the really off-putting stuff. Like that cold sore. -In a flood you could save a property by laying sideways and using your assets as a barrier. Just a side business idea. -"I can smell the bad PH, ginger through the screen...👃" -You look like you pick up undergrads at Costco by pretending you're a MILF. -Imagine being this obsessed with yourself and your looks only to have this be the end result -"At 23, you’re still a decade away from making terrible decisions in your life, and you’re already this low… Someone should realtime this disaster…" -Fuckable at 4am and the bar is closing … -You are my age and you look in your 40s. -23 ? 23 years to 60 year old you mean ? -23? Dayum you look 40. -Your blowjob game must be great. For you to suck that gut in and not look like the daughter of the Michelin man. -"Welcome to Daphnes only fans, Just 19.99 and Scooby might appear" -Just go to the NSFW subs if you want to promote your OF where you charge $60 for a picture of your tits -"Your nose is so big, it would be worth the entire planet suffering through Hitlers resurrection, just to watch you have to walk into the gas chamber." -Laura Prepoff -I don't know how to explain this properly... but when cleavage starts out separated at the very top? Well... it ain't good. -Those massive jewbs wouldn't have saved you from being sent to a camp. -Wow. No OF link. That makes me happy -Body like Baywatch but a face like Crimewatch. -I mean yes i'm horny but not that horny -Do you even lift bro? -How the hell did you get your face and ass in the same picture.. -You look like you watch space movies alone -You look like you only take it in the ass and are saving the rest for your “husband”. But no one will commit to a batshit crazy cat lady -She rolls her own tampons and kick starts her vibrator. -"You look like Felicia Day's fatter sister, Talladega Night." -You’ve got the tits of a cheerleader and the shoulders of a linebacker. They got you doing double duty on game night no doubt. -Your bra gonna need bungee cords when gravity hits -Your 23? They aren't kidding when they say gen z is aging like milk -"Girl, you're gonna pass out in pic 2 tryna suck that stomach in so much." -Congrats on the transition -Look like you never heard of closing the god damn door. -You can smell the cheap weed and old cum stains on her mattress -Drop them tiddies out. They’re your only redeeming quality. -"Fiiiiiine, plug your onlyfans, I know that's what this is." -"Shouldn't you be on a black couch somewhere, getting ""interviewed"" by a weird dude with a video camera?" -What’s disappointing for men is in this picture you are actually sucking on your tummy. This is Roast Me. Be honest and post a new picture. We can take it. -That shii on your lip got some shii on its lip -"you really splurged at the drug store this month with all your coupons, considering the box hair dye alone" -Don't you hate it when you don't wear a bra you keep tripping over your tits? -Pretty sure what you do to your body is considered a war crime -"I dont know who needs more help, you or your bra" -You look like a ginger Ms. Trunchbull with glasses. -Hey look! Another red headed stepchild trying to gain acceptance. Bus stops and gas station bathrooms not cutting it anymore? -You look like you've had more semen than the U.S. Navy... -You look like what you smell like -You have lip herpes 😭😭😭 -You are literally the dictionary definition of a butter face. Atleast you have something going for you I guess 🤷‍♂️ -Poopy Longstocking -When did Felicia Day hit rock bottom? -After 1 use your dildo would be considered pickled. -"With that shirt, Dudes call you Area 50-50 because they’re not sure if they would hit it." -Emotionally Attached: Happily ignores restraining orders -Hellboy: nope. -"23 going on 40, ready to run to Walmart to get some new vape cartridges" -You're lucky redheads are my weakness -Inverse centaur. Body of a human and head of a horse. 🐴 -When you order Lisa Loeb from TEMU. -23? Where you born on a leap year? -When your tits are your only redeeming quality. -Im roasting you so hard -"""Theres no such thing as chix with dix, just dudes wit titts""" -Not a roast. But the pattern of redness on your face that you said is always there could be an early sign of lupus erythematosus. Please have this checked. -You're every man's rock bottom before they finally get into therapy -You look like someone who had gender identity issues in their teens -"Oh, look. Those tits have a life-support system attached." -"Even Trump said, ""no, thanks""" -You’re the absolute definition of butter face. -"Didn’t find anything to roast, until I saw Aids on your lips (last picture 🤢)" -Who’s arm is that? -My BBC would probably enjoy -Why do dudes always want to get roasted?  -Big autistic tits you have there. 🤙🏻 -You'll be in DMs shilling an OF within moments of this post going viral. -Can’t tell if transiton or detransition -Actually shocked the profile is not full of discount links to OF. -Flash me -"Goes to profile for some background info, seeing NSFW warning, hits back button. Nah, I'm good" -23 going on 43 -You look like the person getting yelled at on a daily basis for lack of details. -Fake tits to distract from your face….doesnt help. -"Looks like you have a furniture problem, your chest is in your drawers" -Why did you take a selfie with a shirt full of cum stains? -"Lol, I was ready to roast you into the 19th dimension, then I saw that photo of you when you were 8. There is no way I'd roast someone who used to be that sweet." -But your pretty (I don't belong here) -That 'red skin' looks like a malar rash. You should probably visit a rheumatologist. It's a symptomatic of lupus and/or a couple of other auto-immune diseases. -"You post of Roastme so often, because that's the only attention you can get that doesn't leave you crying in bed" -You aint no damn 23 -You forgot to put your link in bio -Nice tits -You’re udderly beautiful! -23? Did you have a rough childhood? -What do you call it when the old soul is on the outside? -Having big tits isn't a substitute for a personality. -Can tell by your cleavage you have saggy tits -"Now my phone is all sticky, REPORT YOURSELF !!!" -You’re lucky you have two big distractions from your nose -"Yo, not even roasting I thought you were 48." -I think I’ve seen you in a certain website -Ugly ass red he’d built like the mom from inside out looking like you came out your moms butthole big nose having ahh four eyes having ahh flat chest having ahh -"You look nice and pretty. Anyone should be happy to be with you. Wait, did I break the rules?...." -23. Is that how many miles of dick you've taken? -You say 23 but the butt crack cleavage and face say 45 -"23 looking 39 , bet that pussy stank" -23 and NOT me -Your alien bases are decending. The war is over. -"Clicked your profile cause I was like “this girl definitely has a picture of her butthole in the first few posts”. Clicked it, the “NSFW” warning came up, and I was like, “there’s definitely gonna be a butthole pic”. Nope, just seeking CONSTANT validation about your looks from others, with nary a butthole pic to be found!" -"Bro, your entire account is just trying to get people to acknowledge you instead of the twins" -Why does every American white girl feel the urge to get terrible looking tattoos? -This is what 23 looks like in meth years. -I would tongue punch your ginger fart box and suck your soul out through those huge melons. If you had a soul. Almost forgot this was a roast. -I want to pour barbecue sauce all over her and work her like a rib. -"Yea your not much to look at but I love the big Ole sloppy mom tits!!. -Can you add a few more pics ...show them puppies off!!" -She looks like she fucks for brick weed. -You're aging like milk. 23!? -"I'm actually impressed. Most drag queen don't look this feminine. Good job, man!" -Can people come up with actual creative roasts instead of unfunny sex jokes? Please? -You look like you have to roofie your dildo -Butterface -comment -"The spirit of a 7 year old girl in the body of a 43 year old lesbian, and possibly a penis." -Your mom tells people you’re “just a late bloomer.” -Everything about you is annoying and I’ve never even met you -Why do we have a solo picture of your fuck toys? -"Don't worry bro, at 18, my brother was also a fat virgin with poorly dyed hair and no prospects. Now, at 32, he's a fat, natural-haired virgin and a security guard at our uncle's self-storage facility. You got this" -Looks like 18 years on this planet has already done that for you. -Band kids don't bully their friends nearly enough -You get photoshopped out of pictures at Comic Con 😳 -Your walls are as bare as your personality -“Do your worst” is your approach to sex. -"You look like the type of person to think they're ""oppressed"" for minor inconveniences in daily life." -"Unfortunately for your parents, you're never leaving the house." -"Discord called, they said they want their moderator build back." -Another gender-neutral wanabe tech nerd. That stuffed penguin was probably sticky around the mouth area before you had yourself castrated. -The autism is strong with this one -It can’t get any worse -You look like your neck would smell like old cheese. -Soon as the selfies are done he’s gonna fuck those plushies. -"# Turned 18 Today... - -and the testicles haven't dropped yet. - -a few in the mouth but that is another story" -"Pronouns are ew, no." -You look like a lesbian that’s mid transition. -Turned 18 stone you mean? -Let me guess: you didn't like playing outside -They/it/clothesdontfit -Average r/politics poster -We need to bring back bullying. -This is why I'm glad my father beat me. So I didn't turn out like this fuckin shit show. -You look fucking exhausting to be around -Are you acoustic? -"Thick black frames, ugly green hair, and flamboyant gestures. This is the triggered gay liberal starter kit" -"18 is the age of consent. - - -You however, don’t need to worry about that at all." -"Sorry, can't top your parents" -Your NAMBLA membership has been pre-approved -18 more and you might lose your virginity. -So avoid movie theaters in your area? -Got that Mini-Ladd-I-Did-Nothing-Wrong face -Piplup is the worst starter. I know that one hurt… -finally turned 18 and turned into an old pervy man -Check his hard drive. -Sir this is roast me. If you have tell your neighbor your a sex offender you have to go door to door -Genetics did their worst already champ -Pronouns are: Forever/Virgin -Is this a new kind of autism -Fam is one pronoun away from massacring his local walmart.. and we know he doing it in that duck outfit -There are multiple parents in your town who have to ask their daughters “did he bother you at school again today?” -"If a billionaire politician told you to stick your foot in a lawn mower to protest inequality, you’d start crying trying to figure out how to start the lawnmower." -Happy 18th anniversary of the last time you touched a vagina. -Only chicks you’ll ever get into bed with are in these pics. -Generational decline in testosterone: Confirmed. -I’m proud of you… something your father never said to you -I’m not religious but “My god…” is all I can think. -"Sloths have algae living in their fur, giving it a green tinge, just saying." -You don’t have to try so hard to stay a virgin. It was happening anyways -You've wore Crocs every day since you were 7 -"On a scale of 1-1,000,000 , how disappointed is your father?" -The only thing bigger than the closet he emerged from ..is his anus. -You definitely have more pronouns than friends -Stop taking blockers -"I can tell you show zero taxable income, and that looks like that’ll be your future trend." -Don’t disparage this abuse- you have a solid future career as a school bus driver! -You have green hair … we don’t need to roast you . You roast yourself lol -"You're 18, that means you can make an only fats account" -Happy involuntary emancipation cake day. -If the Batman shooter stayed home and drank Mountain Dew instead -"Honestly, man... you're in for a rough go. As you get older and become an adult, you're going to struggle. You're a child, and you're about to realize that the world is not a fair and/or kind place." -"You look like a minecraft youtuber, But the kind that you discover did some shady kid stuff." -Can guarantee you’ve never done anything difficult in your life. Living life on spring breeze mode -How is it that you both look like you should be in school and shouldn’t be allowed near one? -"Somehow you look like you just molested a child, but look like a child that was just molested." -You look like the Internet shat you out. -You look like you blame your poor mental health on everybody but yourself. And you change your pronouns weekly because that's how you feel at the moment. -"You look like facts hurt your feelings, and you’re confused about which bathroom to use. I can almost guarantee your pronouns are Dis/appointment." -Your parents are so happy that you turned 18 as they are no longer responsible for you and they don't have to listen to your stupid rants. We should congratulate your parents instead of you -Wow now u can legally marry an electric eel -"Turned 18, but your balls haven't dropped yet." -How many of those stuffed animals have crusty holes in the bottom? -How are you already a 42 yo woman? -I’d cross the street if I saw you walking toward me -You look like you'd sexually harass your future self -"Listen son. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life." -This is the birthday where your dad finally sends a letter? -Can't roast what's already been deep fried from second-hand embarrassment. -Is the 4th picture your dad? -Peter puffer for sure 😁 -You didn’t get bullied hard enough. -Some of the posters on this sub genuinely just evoke this sad feeling of pity. -100% gay -"Shouldn’t have let this one get to 18, at most 6 weeks." -It looks like life has done enough to you already. -You'll see that incel adult life isn't really much different from the incel teen life that ur used to. -OP has the female repellent suit 😂 -This guy Naruto runs to the fridge -"Nature already seemed to do its worst but - -Have you ever thought about staring at the sun until you go blind?…. So you won’t have to look at your own reflection ever again" -"What even are you? - -Not a roast, I’m just genuinely fucking baffled" -How far away do you have to stay away from schools? -You're 18 now. Time to let go of the Swamp Thing hair. -What the hell even is that? -If James Holmes shot up the movie theater and then ate all the victims then chased it with all the popcorn butter at the concession stand -"I liked the duck fit, but ya just look a little too gay in the 3rd pic" -My wife went through a midlife crisis and got a haircut like yours once while she was pregnant! -"I was wondering why you would do this, then I saw the duck suit." -You have a ketchup and bread sandwich kinda vibe -I can smell the cheese from here -Becoming a man just in time for your man tits to come in. -The look on the penguin on the right says we should call the cops -You already ate the dam roast -You definitely got a future as a mod on reddit deleting comments. -Happy birthday. statically you won't have another one. -Idk bro i feel like your classmates lives depend on us not roasting you….. -Don't Reproduce.. -We gon' need more letters in the alphabet to identify this one. -"Pronouns are ew, no." -You look like you can fuck up a wet dream -If Beaker was a real person -Reaches legal age of consent only to realize nobody wants to bang ya -Your mommy still dresses you and wipes you down like a baby -Damn modeled after the pisbury dough boy flavored after skittles -"You think your full length anime body pillow is a real girlfriend, don't you?" -looks like the worst has already been done… time to enlist in the Marines -You look like my toilet brush after I let the scrubbing bubbles sit for 10 minutes -"Based on that hair, you already did your worst" -"Damn I need a way to stand out and look good, should I take care of myself and lose some weight, naaa I’ll just dye my hair blue and let it fade into green while not even doing a good job at covering up all the bleached blonde so it just looks like the Easter bunny threw up on my head. -this guy" -It’s probably not too late to take puberty blockers and try you luck as another gender. -"Finally legal, guess it’s safe to go back to church" -You look like a professional My Hero Academia fan  -"Aw, trans-adjacent wannabe just discovered Reddit" -If Peter Griffin fucked an egirl -What protest you going to this week? These pics scream Gay white guys for Harris. -Just have to say that the duck hat makes ur head look small -"I know a Democrat when I smell one, and these photos stink like shit, father issues and low self-esteem with a lack of personal identity... with a hint of Mom's basement and Goon porn." -Looks there’s a whistling sound when you walk fast -This the kinda guy that listens to rap music & thinks he’s down with all the black brothas. -get off the internet you clown -"I feel like I'm being scolded by my chubby third grade teacher in your first pic. Also, she was insane." -I loved you in Bad Santa. -You look like refurbished item from Temu. -Raggedy Ann grew up with some trauma -Thinks he’s ironically annoying but is actually just really fucking annoying -oh good. another giant toddler. -You got weird hair. You’re weird. -Single mom energy there... -Your they/them is showing -This chick really likes ducks -Personality never resides in the colour of your hair you know. -Your mom still lays your cloths out -"Happy birthday, beetle juice without the makeup" -Ngl my grandma probably has a higher amount of testosterone then you -Reddit sucks at roasting. 95/100 roasts is just “youre ugly and everyone hates you” but that isnt a roast. A roast is what your dad’s buddies do to your dad when they see you -i weep for our future -you’re one step closer into transitioning to Peter Griffin -"Well, it can only get better from here I guess…." -He looks like a white knight -BETAAAA!! -"Nah, God, Fate, and the Universe seem to have the worst covered. I'd offer to give you some kind of consolation prize but I don't think they have a Raspy for just existing." -Dollar tree Deku -The face only a mother could love 😬😬😬 -Your genuinely annoying to look at. -I never thought Oompa Loompas would age so poorly. -You look like a jeep dashboard -You look like you shower in deep frying oil -It's not fun if there's no challenge..🫤 -Incelgbtq+++. -I bet your house has a burning red dot. -Why u let yourself walk around looking like that? -You look like a man that transitioned to a woman that transitioned back to a man. -You're doing a pretty good job on your own there buddy. -This. This is what happens when you cross-breed a neckbeard with a pick-me girl. -You look like you have PTSD from being told “no” once when you were a kid and wanted something from the store -"Your bedroom always smells like old hotdog water, but more today than ever." -You’re the manifestation of every fathers worst nightmare when they have a boy. -"The green hair tells everyone, everything they need to know. & is roasting enough in itself." -If Gender Dysphoria had a face -"If you are symbolizing what everything is wrong with your generation? -If yes- full marks." -Why the fuck do you look Like a chiahead? -You look like premie Seth Rogen -What are you? -Like Steven Universe but even less fuckable. -"Idk, maybe this generation IS actually using litter boxes" -do you spit when you talk? -You just look gay -"Somewhere in your life there's a 40 something guy with a baseball hat on and tools in his garage, wondering if it's too late to have another kid" -Cut your hair. Loose weight. Wear contacts. -In 5 years you’re going to look back and cringe at yourself -You’re doing your worst for us. -Fix your shirt private pyle! - I can’t tell the difference between any of you in the last photo -Why does he look like the IRL gay version of Rowley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid? -You look like you’re always a little sticky -If you're gonna dye your hair at least commit ffs you look like a half baked tato -I can smell you through the pictures... -You're 18. Lose the baby fat and get a grown-up haircut. -Beardless neck beard -You look like a lesbian Billie Eilish -You can hear the sassy lisp from these photos -You look like a live action Oscar the grouch if he were on the spectrum -Those titties look 40 -Go to the gym and change your future. Or it will roast you for everyone else. -You either are or were the most annoying kid in school -you look like you sniff bicycle seats -You look like you tell people you're gay because you're afraid to talk to girls -Bro looks like he tells people his pronouns -This is one of those where you don’t need to say anything -Do you aspire to become one of the spherical birds? -You didn't get all the vomit out of your hair. Wash it again. -"""White guys for Harris""" -You look like you sniff your mums farts and enjoy it -Pronouns are Tinky/Winky. Too much estrogen to even be a good incel! -“It’s giving he/she/we/they/them/non-binary/vegan/vegetarian” -Go back to kindergarten and redo EVERYTHING. -Get a haircut hippy. -You look like you talk about climate change a lot. Nerd. -Looks like you’ve transitioned/detransitioned 3 separate times. -A tremendous makeover will do -Tell me you're voting for Kamala without telling me you're voting for Kamala -Autism has you -"When I see something that looks like your hair in my fridge, I throw it out." -Your glasses aren’t crooked it’s you. -You look good for being a mom of three -Are you on quack? -You look vaccinated -🧼 -18 really. Maybe about 10 years ago. -You look like MiniLadds incest baby. -It’ll take another 18 for you to get laid. -i would not like to be in a room alone with you -Go hit the gym tubby -Hope for your bday someone bought you a closet to crawl back into -You look like a divorced cat lady that works in HR and steals other people’s lunches while whisper yelling about why her kids don’t talk to her anymore. -"if someone asked me, is that a man, woman or fart. i would choose the fart" -"Looking at your photos, I don't think I can do you worse than your camera" -You look like the Penguin if Batman was trans -It's completely unnecessary. These pictures are worth a thousand roasts. -Autism be damned. -You look 37 and the head to toe duck outfit screams autism but honestly it's pretty cool. Judging by your eyes in picture #1 you are most definitely in the midst of a manic episode. -I know a plushie f*cker when I see one. -that’s wat i call a man hubba hubba 🥰🥰 -You look like a middle age lesbian -Congratulations- you are now officially a Teletubby!! -"You look like Beaker from the Muppets, if he stopped shooting meth and started shooting up sad instead" -Daddy's queen -you have 4 pairs of hardened socks under your bed -"No matter how many rubber ducks and penguins you have, you're still depressed deep down." -If someone told me you were one of the guys that got caught participating in the sex trafficking bust at this year's Comic-Con I wouldn't doubt it for even a second. -get a job. -"Damn, you must miss your father after he shot up that cinema in 2012" -When’s the transition? Or did it already happen? Its hard to tell. -I already know who you're voting for. -"Don't need to do my worst, your parents already did theirs." -This is what a daily diet of pronouns looks like. -Mom where are my gender re-assignment and estrogen pills!!? -Pronouns: trans/fat -comment -I’ve never been more sure that someone sensually moans while taking a shit -Your 3rd pic makes you look like a non-binary dora the explorer -Pedro’s policy for 2025 presidency- “handjobs for all” -"Of course you're lil sensitive, I have identity crisis just by scrolling those images." -You don't have to put that in the title cause we already know. -Im gay but even i want to call you a slur -You are transitioning from what to what? -You look like you’re wearing your victim’s hair -Were you castrated at any point by chance? -That third picture where you're sitting with your hand placed so femininly on your leg lowered my testosterone from just seeing it. You're gayer than a football bat. -"You're the kind of guy who takes a massive shit, then looks in the bowl and thinks to himself, ""That's how much dick I can take.""" -"You look like a gay, extroverted emo that i would find on the side of the road trying to sell me meth" -What the hell is even that? -Late Michael Jackson with a dark spray tan. -Him kardrashian -I need to know what the fuck I'm even looking at before I can make a roast. -"Ur mum wanted a girl, -Ur Dad wanted a boy, -God didn't want to disappoint either one." -"don't let the roasters get you down, you're a very handsome woman" -Your third picture looks like a 19 year old pregnant Salma Hayek. -Looks like you left the Rez and found the gays/theys in the city. -Vote for trans Pedro -He's that one cannibal from the rainforest who always asks for the genitals for dinner -I bet your parents change the subject when ask them about you. -Can't tell which direction the transition is going -If Joe Jonas was trans. -Welp.. I caught the *gay* -Never been more surprised to see a urinal -"You have very strong facehair, for a girl." -You look like of Freddie Mercury and Michael Jackson had a love child. -You look like you misunderstood what being nonbinary is and became a quantum superposition of masculinity and femininity. -Chromosomes gave up -Just a small town girl living in a lonely world. -If “Unfuckable” was a person. -You weren't bullied enough -"You’re a little sensitive, so only the tip?" -Bolivian Charles Manson -If the night stalker had a trans kid -"Whatever you say Sadako, how's the well treating you?" -Ladies and Gentleman; Hermaphrodite Lou Diamond Phillips in “La Famba” -As sensitive as your clit? -It’s like they got Ariana Grande to play Jesus in a movie and half assed the gender change effects -You look like the reason that your family doesn’t spend holidays together anymore -These images should be on a condoms advertisement. -You look like you were groomed by Michael Jackson as a child. -Johnny Deport -Emotional sensitivity is a side effect of hormonal replacement therapy. It won't be so bad once your tits finish growing in. -"You look like Mike from Stranger Things, but you are the stranger thing." -What the fuck .... this is why bullying worked ... -"You look like the phrase ""ladies and gentleman""" -Looks like you’re about to salt a mid tier steak. -"If you rearrange the photo order, you can see the pre operation and pills step by step transition to ROBERTO." -You look like Michael Jacks-his-son -"Girl, you need to wax that mustache." -I want to slap your dad for not slapping you. -"~~Mister~~ - -~~Missus~~ - -Itster" -Whoa I was just wondering what Michael Jackson’s kids were up to! -If I were gay you would be the reason to turn straight again. -I'm honestly shocked that you posted a picture from a public restroom that had urinals in it. -Looks like he wipes back to front -Please delete pic 6 from the universe. 🤢 -You look like you are currently in the middle of transitioning both ways at the same time -I can’t work out if you’re a goy or a birl. -It got much worse as I scrolled. Fuck bud -Slide 5. I think ur in the wrong bathroom -What the fuck is this creature? -"I don’t know what gender you’re attempting to be, but you’ve failed horribly. I haven’t seen anything this grotesquely androgynous since Marilyn Manson first hit the scene." -You look like Enrique Iglasias if he was a transgender woman that was also a gay dude and a lesbian -Do you still get your period since you started the transition? -You’re the reason that I don’t like talking about my last trip to Thailand. -Heeee Sheeee 🧤 -You would look better in the pics with a paper bag over your head -Pretty ballsy of you too display that you cum from listening to your favorite songs -Estosterone -“Daddy chill”… “what is even that!?” Thats what you remind me of but Latino version -"I'm a lil sensitive, yeah we can see that...." -Elliot Roger the ultimate gentleman -The night gawker -"I don't care which bathroom that is, you're in the wrong one." -Bro that 3rd pic looks like an audition photo for a gay porno -In the fourth pic does your sign say help are you calling for help... I knew it nobody's takes this bad of pics phew -All the roasts I wanted to say are taken. So now I just sit here and wonder how many estrogen injections he takes per day. -You look more like a woman than miss universe -"It's took me half an hour to figure out your sexuality, Moustache Woman" -It's got that big they/them energy. -What the fuck are you? -It rubs the guacamole on its skin or else it gets the Hose again -"You've got some sort of budget Michael Jackson thing going on. - -Miguel Jacksyung?" -What are you -Dezra Miller -Boi Wtf. -The only straight thing in you is the hair thats going through your face. -You make gay people shutter. Or more flabbergasted. -You're really sensitive sister -You look like you get bullied by the kids in your basement -what the h*** is even that? -This mf barks -That's the most disturbing girl I've ever seen online -Could look masculine AF but he chose this instead. -You look like you'd be sassy when playing board games -"If you go to San Francisco, makes sure you take one of those clowns handkerchiefs with you." -Back door beauty? -Are you a Girl or a Boy??? -I wonder if he is friends with the very masculine guy we saw the other day. -Why are you moaning in a kids play area…..? -🤢🤮🤯 -"Even swiper does not swipe right, Dora the gender explorer." -Grim Kardashian -You go girl! -You’re obviously a bottom. -Loves the smell of his own shit and rubs it all over his body! -Not sure what to call you. -Too sensitive I'd say -I can’t believe nobody has mentioned Anthony Kiedis yet. -Third pic makes you look like a young girl early in the pregnancy -What uh..what are you? -"Damn girl, flat chested AND pcos. I'm sorry!" -You spelled lil bitch really wrong. -Thats ignorant you guys are being ignorant.... Blanket come play with me! -Salma Gayek -Whoever did your transition surgery needs to have their medical licence revoked -Why did you stop mid transition? -The secret 4th musketeer the other three don't talk about -I don't get it.. did you take a picture in the men's room before or after you sat down to pee? -So this is the it I've heard so much about -Is this a guy or a girl -"There's androgynous then there's, And-What-The-Fuck-Is-This." -Naan-binary -What… are you? -"If the phrase “every man, woman, and child” were a person." -"I honestly, have no fucking idea what I'm looking at." -Latin Pat. -Is she a guy? -Wtf -I'd be nice to you at work in hopes that you'd spare my life when it happens. -You posted your cock on reddit. There is nothing else to say -Did the doctor say “Let’s Play Nice” during Transition Surgery? -It’s like a MySpace page came to life -Bro moans when he wipes his ass -Gay Michael jackson -You look like your pronouns are disappointed/father. -Sensitive ? From the hormone therapy? -"Ever had a guy and his wife both try to hit on you? Then the guy says ""sorry I thought you were a chick"" and the chick says ""sorry, I thought you were a guy."" Everyone leaves confused." -You look like what would come up if I asked AI to generate a picture of a WNBA player. -"I'm having a little trouble with this one. Man? Woman? Child? Twink? You regularly have a facial attempting a beard, the frame of a child, and pose like a delicate flower that wants to be ""drawn like one of your French girls"" serious question: what are you going for here?" -Pokimané but trans -Ewwwww -Seriously what the fuck? -You look like you always give otphj as a reward of being a friend -"When you come out as trans and pick a new name, pick something cool. Just using the feminine form of your current name or an alliteration of it is lazy." -You want me to play nice when you look like that woman filter on Snapchat -I didn’t know Kirstin Maldonado was transitioning. -why does pic 3 look so mucu like a girl -"Yeah, you look sensitive." -"Oh look, the guaranteed honky-tonk style blowjob I ordered from room service showed up." -Just inserted a butt plug kinda moan. -I'll just call you them -What's the indoamerican equivalent for Gaylord? -Holy shit! Ezra Miller really did fuck up his career!. Resorting to being the star attraction of Phillipino lady-boy tourism?! Time's is hard for all of us! -How many genders do use in a week -"The type to say ""I'm sorry"" when accidentally hurting his pinky toe against a table leg..." -"Oh, hi Mark" -If “your words hurt me” was a person. -I have a feeling you have said the exact same thing before a room full of dudes handcuffed you to a bed. -Make up your mind -Please burn that 3rd picture -This is a first. Now it's hard on the bottom and floppy on top. -Ha! Gay. Or confused. One of those works. -"this must be the final boss of ""Let's Make Dad Disappointed""" -"Sensitive on the rims, I presume." -"""he is a little sensitive"" is probably how your parents describe you to your homophobic grandparents" -Why the mustache girl? -Well on the positive side if you transition you won't need to take any estrogen -how can she slap -I'm really confused -Did we need six pictures? -“Let’s play nice I’m sensitive” so what’re you doing here? -When Trans go wrong -You'll look really good in your crossdressing era. -Looks like it ran out of money halfway through a sex change. -"Damn girl, let me introduce you to Gillette." -When bisexual was taken to serious -You look like you enjoy golden showers -You resemble Michael Jackson after all the plastic surgery before he passed. -Autism mixed with a hint of bad relationship with father and possibly a hint of child trauma. -"You're not sensitive, you're a Trans" -You could be a woman 😁 -"Just have to say I love this s/reddit. It never fails to make me laugh, your comments are hilarious, absolutely brutal but also very clever and witty." -Looks like a bearded lesbian. -"look Esmerelda, I realize you are uber comfortable with yourself, but could you resist plucking those brows for 2 weeks??, you look like a suprised hemaphrodite" -“A lil sensitive”? Buddy looks like the type to tell everyone he was once assaulted by the wind because the breeze was too strong -I’ve never seen someone get shorter in each consecutive picture until now. -Mowgli but instead of being raised by wolves and a bear it was the YMCA -Even the fucking rainbow is confused about which fucking color you belong to 💀 -Shouldn’t you be wearing a dress or something? -Without facial hair you look like a woman named Linda who works in the telemarketing department -He couldn't choose between X and Y so he took both -He belongs to the premium version of gay.... -The only time your voice reaches higher than 8db is when you're taking a shit -"""Lets play nice im sensitive"" - ->posts this on a roast me subreddit. - -I hope thats sarcasm" -Roasting is *precisely* about not playing nice though. You freak out if a bug lands on you. -"now I know why they call it homo ""phobia""" -Gayer as you scroll -"Thank you for your restraint in the title, because you look like you want to tell me _exactly where_ you're sensitive." -Hot damn that mustache looks like you just used sharpie on your upper lip. -Trans of the Mohicans -"My fucking god. There are so many places to start, my head is spinning, I just can’t." -You look like you're in a perpetual identity crisis. -"If I walked in a public bathroom and seen you, I'd apologize and double back to check the door." -"Those clothes aren’t working, they/them" -Honestly though you should try Drag Racing. -comment -"On the bright side, your dad’s in heaven now. Which is still about 4 miles below your hairline." -Just wondering what the taxi ride between your eyebrows costs? -Eyebrows point to where your hairline used to be. -"Didn’t realize the 3/5 thing applied to eyebrows, too" -Just be like your eyebrows and really distance yourself from it  -bro your eyebrows look like ^ ^ -They call you Mothers spoiled Milk -Poor guy’s dad has been “dead” ever since he stepped out to get milk and never came home. -"Let me guess, your dad died laughing when he saw those eyebrows!" -The State regrets to inform you that your dad bequeathed his credit score to you. -"Keep your head up, I'm sure if you did a 23 and me you'll see mom probably pinned the pregnancy on the wrong guy. Boom, new dad unlocked." -Bro they could bury your dad in all that space between your eyebrows -Why your eyebrows look like cat ears -"My boy got the devils eye brows, lebrons hair line, Chinese carry out eyes, and tits that would make Kim Kardashian jealous. My boy a mix and match fr" -"How many years were left on his sentence? - -(Rest in peace to your father ♥️)" -Been rubbing your forehead so much you done rubbed your eyebrows off -If we roast him enough will he finally be black enough for his dads approval? -When your old man passed did he take half of your eyebrows with him? -"Eyebrows said: ▲ ▲ - -Lookin like a jack-o-lantern tweezed ya brow bushes." -It seems that Moses has visited your eyebrows. -I’ve seen better eyebrows on circus clowns -"Don't worry, if he was alive he wouldn't be thinking about you either." -I see you inherited your mom’s breasts though. -"“Sorry for the passing of your father. I know how it feels”. Said none of your black friends. - -I dealt with the passing of my mom with inappropriate humor. Just paying it forward. May your father rest in heaven." -The telephone company wants to make a new area code in the space between your two eyebrows. -"Welp, now you get to live like 90% of black men" -I could land an Airbus A380 between your eyes. -"Aw, his hairline is camera shy." -Goddamn bro did he take the eyebrows with him? -Your eyebrows are trying to go visit your dad -Temu Will Smith -"I like how you say he's ""still dead"" as if you were holding out hope that he'd come back...if he did come back, he would see your post and roast you himself, daddy's girl forever❤️" -I'm sorry for your (hair) loss. -"Wow man, hope you get better. - -Oh and sorry about the dad too" -"I’m surprised u ever met him, congrats 🥳." -Only found out his dad was dead cause the collection agency started calling next of kin. -At least it’s your turn to go get the milk 🥛 -How do you know? I know it’s been 25 years he ran out to get cigarettes but he could still be alive. -Wait....you knew your dad ?!? 🤯 -"I can see that you have your mother's eyebrows, 5 o'clock shadow and hairline." -"Look, gender bend Michael B Jordan" -Your eyebrows kinda look like little Pizza Hut logos -Broke Taye Diggs lookin ass -Glad to see your eyebrows point up to him. -You’re a handsome guy but your eyebrows look like a couple of traffic cones -You love Newports so much that you decided to get your eyebrows shaped up like their logo. -Why are your eyebrows trying to leave orbit??? -You look like you drive a white bronco -Eyebrows on POINT -Sorry about your father -Your eyebrows looks like SHIFT 6 6 -Wait....you knew your dad? -eyebrows on 70% reduction -Your eyebrows look like they parted the sea -did he take your eyebrows with him? -"Aw man, now you'll never meet him." -I’d think all those years in prison would have gotten you used to the idea of him not being around. -Did Joaquin Phoenix paint your eyebrows on for you? -You could drive a Lincoln in between those eyebrows -Looks like Fire Marshall Bill already roasted those eyebrows. -“Still dead”? Were you expecting him to come back? -Never seen a human with Doberman eyebrows before. -Damn your dad really wanted to leave that bad. -Did your dad take rest of your eyebrows with him -Your hairline is well on its way to joining your dad in the after life -At least you finally know who he was and exactly where he is. -The devil eyebrows lead me to think.. you had something to do with it -"It's me your dad, the force has given me Powers and I temporarily took over Froads's account to tell you to not forget to pay my child support (sorry you found out this way son) or else theyll foreclose the house." -"I think your Dad took some of your eyebrows to Heaven, just as a reminder to buy milk." -I would roast you but my dad said I’m not allowed to burn trash -Comic book eyebrows -"your dads still dead, were you expecting him to resurrect? tell him to bring the rest of your hairline on the way down" -STILL DEAD??? AINT NO WAY -You've always been dead to him even beyond the grave. -Did you trim your eyebrows and facial hair? Or do you naturally grow juggalo facepaint? -"^ ^ -○ ○" -It sort of looks like you overcompensated too much after being called unibrow. -He went to get the milk for eternity. -Your eyebrows look like someone carved eyes for a jack o lantern on your face. -You look like a roasted peanut -"Well, your dad was already roasted in your place" -Your nose looks like you have pantyhose over your head -Your eyebrows don’t look like they’re taking the death too well either cuz half them is missing -"Your dad’s not dead, he just went out for a pack of cigarettes. I’m sure he’ll be right back." -Try and think of the good things. At least you won't have to put up with your dad's disappointment anymore -"Nothing lasts. But nothing is lost, friend." -You should try hash rosin -The inner halves of your eyebrows are with him now. -Tell Charles Schulz to do a better job on your eyebrows. -All I want to say is nice biceps and pecs. -"Are you sure he’s dead, or could it be that your mom just got tired of you asking who your father was…" -Is dead what they say now instead of getting smokes or milk? -This guy escaped from the Wii character generator -"Damn, when you dad left you he made damn sure he wasnt coming back" -"On the flipside, you look like you could be the black panther actor" -It’s amazing he made it 31 years before walking out -Your dad would be proud of you -"Are you sure your dad didn't just ""go out for a pack of cigarettes?""" -Didn’t know receding eyebrows was a thing. -Did he take half your eyebrows with him? -Baby gap wearing mfer -Those eyebrow make you look like your dad was very proud of you. -Lookin like a falcons cousin pidgeon lol -Where are your eyebrows -"Your hairline no longer exists, just like your dad" -My man got the Pac-Man eyebrows -Eyebrows are as surprised as he is. -this nigga eyebrows look like the triangles over jokers eyes -he got Rottweiler eyebrows..... -Eyebrows are pointing to where the hairline should be -"I thought Juggalos just did white grease makeup, glad to see them start to catch up with the range of Revlon and Maybelline" -"I'm sorry buddy. Its a terrible thing to happen. Your allowed to feel bad. But, if it gets too painful it's time to seek a grief councilor. Your funeral home probably has classes and there is professional therapy. I still go after losing my daughter. (Cancer) Some constructive hobby or volunteer work may give you purpose again. - -I'll pray for you. -Meghanne's dad." -"Fuck man, if my son had that hairline I’d wanna be dead too." -Your eyebrows look like map indicators. I think you gotta go north -Rip to him and to your hairline -Sorry for your loss. Side note: that 6’ lamp in the background looks 2’ taller than you? -Sorry for your loss friend. how about you flip the script and roast some of us -"Must’ve died of shame. - -Condolences." -"Sorry about your father, feel better" -I bet you and your dad were as close as your eyebrows. -Is that why your eyebrows are arrows? To point to heaven? -Don't worry your hair will join him soon! -Seems like your father wanted to get away as far away as possible like those eyebrows. -bro lookin like Squinten Tarantino out here -Just remember your dad didn’t die for nothing! I wouldn’t want to wake up and see that face every day either! :) -"Do you shave your eyebrows, or do they just naturally look like clown eyebrows?" -Your eyebrows look like the little hat on some french characters like êê -Your eyebrows already roasted away but you look like a depressed angry sun burned ninja turtle. -why does your beard look like a part of the top of a kitty's head with the ears? -You look like black Shang Tsung. -Your dad got some of that eternal milk -"Maybe those eyebrows had somthing to do with it," -Your eyebrows look like discount Nike swooshes. -"Bruh, why half yo brow missin'? - - ( did I spell that correctly, feels like I did? I need to whipe some of this white privilege of my mouth, Kunta! Oh Kunta Kinte, come hear for a second???) - -Also RIP your father.. he passed knowing his son had halfbrows😔" -Keep your head up like those boomerang brows -You could blindfold him with dental floss. -Suuuuure you know who your dad is😉 -"Maybe ask your mum if she knows who your real dad is, maybe he’s still alive?" -When you order Will Smith from Temu -....still? -"Fuck your hairline and forehead, what monstrosities happened to your eyebrows?" -"Sorry, are we roasting him or his dead dad? What the hell let’s cover the bases… I can understand needing the distraction. It must be tough when some dies while you’re having sex with them" -Who were the pallbearers? Certainly wasn't you with those noodle arms. RIP Pops -Your dad's cremation was a pretty distracting roast. -Why are you acting as if you knew your dad Jamal? -You look like the black student they put on university brochures to show diversity -"The post implies you knew your dad, which is a surprise to us all!" -"Hey, it’s been a couple days. Is your dad alive yet?" -You don’t have a goatee and you never will. -"If you’re expecting that to change, you’re even more stupid than you look." -"If you wanted your eyebrows to be further apart, not sure how you would go about it" -"Your nose looks like its collapsing like a cocaine addict, did you sniff your dad's ashes as well." -Did you sneeze so hard that your hair fell on your neck? -At least you know where he is -Death is hereditary -Which shampoo do you use? Please share the link -"> My dad is still dead. - -To be fair, it would just be awkward if he suddenly wasn't." -"At least your dad isn't there to ""Pray the gay away"". He took the easy way out." -"He looks like those black dude who watch anime, we all know the vibe they bring lmao" -Was his death due to a drive by? -Fucking clown eyebrows -Boi who did them eyebrow? Look like you headed to a juggalo gathering for ICP. -Your eyebrows are more mine-like than most mines in Paris! -Motherfucker you look 60 of course your dads dead 💀 🤣jk -You look like someone who thinks dead people can be brought back from the dead -Wait you knew your dad?? Wild -At least there’s no inheritance to fight over -T'Challa II's head on T'Chaka's body... -Died died and isn’t around now? So….. nothing has really changed then. -Dad died during his trip to get milk -parole looks good on you -You look in your 50’s -Looks like your eye brows are melting off ur face. -"faking his own death is much more impressive then going to ""buy some milk""" -"Clearly not a good father, if he died on you. I mean make an effort 😜" -"He went out for Salems, huh?" -You're adopted. -I saw skit marks that longer than ur eyebrows💀💀 -i see why he left you -Mine still dead too😂 dead dad's team 😎 -"He's not dead, he's hiding" -What do you mean ‘still’? -Your dad pretended to die; he just left you -"Did he let the gas grill explode in his face too? - -RIP ❤️" -"Body says 31, face says 61" -Sorry for your lost bro -"Can’t roast you, so sorry about your dad." -He don't exist like that hairline -He aint dead hes hiding -"Cool tits, sis" -It should have been you. -"Keep strong - -John fledgling" -You look like someone who everyone says you’re annoying and you’ve gotten used to it. -"Daddy looking down at you happy with how his son panned out. But I’m sure he is telling himself up there. - -“Boy you better shave that balding head of yours before I come back and haunt your ass.”" -Nice eyebrows -"He's at peace now, not dealing with your bullshit." -"Most people are dead, so really the odds are that your dad would be too." -Does that shirt come in men's sizes? -your dad died but come on we could’ve guessed he just left. -Jack-o’-lantern eyebrows -I thought only cartoons had chevron eyebrows. -Still...? I mean it's kind of a forever thing... -I used your eyebrows to measure angles in geometry. -"I’m the coroner here to concur this losers father indeed passed away. - -Cause of death, embarrassment" -You knew your dad?! -"Dafuq you mean ""still"" dead? Whatchu up to, Fam? Don't be messing with nature like that." -Deads a good adjective for a unicorn -"I'm sorry to hear you lost your father and that it still haunts you. To help replace that feeling, think about how in high school when you started to realize you liked the other boys and thought manly activities like football and weightlifting would help, but it just made the feelings stronger, so you'd go home and masturbate to the thought of your teammates and then cry into your pillow for hours before eating ice cream and watching reruns of Will and Grace." -"I never knew my dad either, but I started life with a decent credit score and less likelihood of getting incarcerated. Good luck I’m on your side." -Will Smith from temu -Wait how do you know your dad is dead if you don’t know who he is? -This is what happens when you lose the job at Marvel and let Micheal Ealy hug your girl -"‘My dad is dead.’ That what you been telling yourself, ‘coz he said he was goin over to the corner store for a blunt wrap and a loosey Newport, as soon as moms told him she was pregnant and then, he just ain’t never came back." -"Fatherless behavior - -(I’m deeply sorry for your loss)" -Plus side is now your mom is single -I’m sure his baby mamas are still alive -How would you even know? Surely you don't know your dad? -You look like Brittney Griner’s undiscovered penis. -"I used two dropdowns at once, and found your eyebrows." -Wait you had a dad in your life? Wow 😮 -"Well, at least you never knew him" -No -"wdym ""still?"" He ain't coming back." -Who shaved your unibrow? A lawn mower company -God already roasted you -Oh wow a brotha that knew his dad..how unusual -"Did you at least get that fucked up hairline fixed for his funeral, bring it down a notch. 🤷🏿💯" -He got that Anthony Davis brow from the wildcats -"Sorry about your dad, but are you expecting a resurrection?" -"I can’t understand why anyone would willingly want to be roasted, I don’t get it!" -if you closed your eyes you’d be this emoji 😊 -"""Still dead?"" You dig him up once a year to check or something?" -Got the eyebrows of a burn victim. -Kevin Hartbroken -Your eyebrows must fucking hate each other. -Your dad was a shit shag. Didn't move much. Very disappointed. -You can land a 747 between those eyebrows! -"If you say candyman into the mirror 3 times, your dad will come back" -That hairline was the cause of death -Dem Ronald McDonald eyebrows 😂 -He didn't die... he went to get the milk. -"What’s with the clown eyebrows?! Oh wait, I think I know…" -The chin is definitely overcompensating for whatever is happening above the eyes. -"What would ur father say if he was still alive? -“Let me out of this coffin, I’m alive. “" -"My dad died 3 months ago.Dads die,no need to be a pussy about it" -He took running out on his kids to the next level -you look just like him -We know who still suffers from lack of daddy attention. -Was your dad an Air Force officer?  Your eyebrows look like two stealth fighters doing that flyover thing they show in the funeral in the second Top Gun. -Is your dad dead or went for milk? -You look like you tried to turn one eyebrow into two eyebrows -"Sorry for your loss OP, I lost my dad 2 years ago unexpectedly, it sucks." -Your dad did the ultimate trip out for milk and cigarettes -How long ago did your grandma tell you about your dad dying saving those orphans? -"Looks like somebody showed a clown photo to the barber and said, ""I want the eyebrows like that. Little points""" -I have more rights than you. Boom roasted -Your face looks like if you told a blind person to draw Le bron. But jokes aside i hope you’re doing ok and recover soon -"Still dead? Did you try to resurrect him? You know that Blacula wasn’t real, right?" -I mean statistically at least you knew your dad -Your dad is still dead? Sounds like you keep checking… like you have him in the freezer or something you sicko… -I'm not roastin this guy. He'd kick my ass. -When you say still dead you mean until you can confirm when any of the other candidates is your real dad? -So is it easier to believe he's dead or he just left y'all?? -He’s not dead. He’s still getting some milk. -"""dead""- translation: left for a pack of Newports in 88 never came back." -Sorry about your dad man. -How would you know your dad is dead if you never met him? -"Dad is ""still dead""? I didn't know black people figured out reincarnation. Does that make up for the lower credit score??" -Your father is in heaven watching over you bro. Just know he is always with you. -I loved seeing you play Peanut Live 215 in the live action major motion picture -Your dad left for milk and cigs and ain’t never coming back. -"Let's face it, you've never met your dad, he left for cigarettes 372.5 months ago" -"^ ^ - -• • - - ~" -That hairline is hanging on by a thread -Your dad’s not thinking about you either. -I’ve met people whose kids have died before them - so the reverse sucks more. -You seem pretty toasted to me already 0 -"Your dad, and half your eye brows are looking down on you with pride" -"Nah, your dad just left. Just like what your eyebrows are about to do." -"Wait a minute, you knew your Dad?" -He took your eyebrows with him when he left earth? -Only thing missing longer than dad is your hairline -What's up with the circus clown eyebrows. 🤡 -Both your eyebrows are in different zip codes -Sorry for you loss -You looked like the rejected auditions for pointy eyebrowns....I got nothing...sorry for your loss brother -"Look at it this way, the last time our dad's really cared and thought about us was when they was tryin to bust that nut, it was all over after that relief." -"Let’s be real, you don’t know who your dad is" -Did you expect him to not still be dead? -Let’s be real You didn’t see your dad before he died either -You didn’t have to put on clown makeup to tell us all that. -Hard to roast someone when they’re already well done -Nah. You’re a beauty lol -"I'm just intrigued by your phrasing. ""Still dead""- implying this may change? Are you in New Orleans by any chance?" -At least he ain't go out for cigarettes and milk... -I mean were you expecting him to resurrect? -Like you knew who your dad was anyway -Hey look everybody it's an alternate universe we're LeBron James tore his ACL in college and is now to assistant manager of this Walmart! Neet. -"I jumped when your face showed up my phone, then up and down, terrifying, horror show...work on that, don't get distracted by the fact that you are a piece of crap and have a blessed day" -Ronald McDonald know you stole his eyebrows? -"So with the wings above your eyes, you've been slamming some red bull!!!" -you should consider yourself lucky for having known your father at all. -"You shouldn't beat yourself up too bad about it. I mean, you only met him for the one time at the funeral." -Bro this ain't some kind of counseling but why are your eyebrows so aggressively pointy? -"At least he didn’t leave you to get cigarettes, he has an excuse to not be in your life. - - - - - - - - - -Sorry for your loss, in all seriousness. The more people we lose, the more prepare our party when it’s our time, keep your head up." -Those eye brows have you one step closer to turning into the Joker. -At least now you know where he is! -It’s easier not to think about once you dispose of the body. -At least your eyebrows are pointing up -Your eye brows are higher than Snoop Dogg -"Like father like son, he's dead and you're dead inside." -Make your dad proud... and have that Lockheed C-5 Galaxy land on your forehead... -"Just realized your eyebrows are like apostrophes """ -ITT: people who don't know the difference between roasting and racist stereotypes -When did your eyebrows get divorced? -"Now he can be disappointed in you for eternity. - -(Seriously though, sorry for your loss) - -And nice shirt, does it come in men's sizes?" -Do a Go Fund me for money for a DNA test and a subscription to Ancestry.com to make sure he still ain't alive. (God bless you and your family. I'm sure he was very proud of you. RIP 🙏 to your father❤️) -You’re eyebrows be like running away from your face! -Sorry man -Eyebrows by Check Cola -"Man, your dad really wanted to get away from you eh? With a face like that I’d want to die so I’d never have to see it again. - -*Seriously, as someone who is also in the “dead dads club” my sincere condolences. My pops was the greatest. Hope yours was too" -I didn’t know they made triangle eyebrows -As the saying goes. The kind of mug only a father could love 😘 -So those things where your eyebrows should be... do they come back when you throw them? -You could kick a football between those goal posts you call eyebrows. -Why do your eyebrows look like a second set of eyeballs? -At least he left for heaven and not after you were born. -"You look like a Jack -o -Lantern. - -May your father rest in Heavenly Peace." -eyebrows look like the two little dots Rottweilers have -Must be nice to have a dad. -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->My hobbies include jiu-jitsu, health, and music! I like all kinds of music and play a few instruments as well, but never really got into the cymbals. Politically speaking, I consider myself an independent, and my educational background includes nursing, public health, and statistics. I'm currently quite broke and my partner is pretty much paying for our expenses herself. Fire away (: - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -"I’m not gonna roast a teenage girl. - -*clicks second picture* - - -Oh " -Schrödinger's Gender -"First picture: “She’s cute” - -Second picture: “Lord forgive me for my sins”" -Wow how much did you pay your twin sister to wear your t shirt and take a selfie ? -You look like someone who found Christ in a Pray-Away camp in the middle of HRT. -I legitimately thought you were a woman in the first picture -"I'm honestly just impressed. You are only one singular person but looking at your pictures and all I can think about is ""the ambiguously gay duo""" -Makes us question our sexuality. bio reveals he is broke and still has a gf that pays for everything making us question our ourselves in the dating market. I think we are the roasted ones. -"Judging by the outline of your crotch, your body composition is 60% water weight, 20% tissue/bone, and 20% meat curtains." -You look like you're transitioning into your parents biggest disappointment -You'd be real popular in prison 😂 -Enough women told you to go fuck yourself that you made a day of it huh? -"Not sure which way you’re transitioning, but congrats." -Does your girlfriend know that she is living with a lesbian? -My penis is so confused. -" -My god!! That cameltoe looks like a catcher’s mitt!! I can’t tell if you’re a dude or transitioning to a man." -"My pants were fully unzipped by the time i got to the second pic... now im sitting here with my dick in my hand staring at a this, wondering if i should still cum 🤔 - -Edit: i came" -You look like the first wife whose husband left her for the receptionist at the auto body shop -Grime Impala 😭😭😭 -You look like you gave up on transitioning to be a woman so you decided to be gay to save money instead -Was your sister mad you took a pic of her and posted it as the first one? -I thought you were a woman in her 30’s still living at home. -Didn’t realise lesbians were growing facial hair -"NEVER in my life have I seen photo 1 and got ready for roasting some chick into oblivion and realized that she's actually a full on dude. Fuck, homie.. If you ever transition, all you will need to do is shave and change your god damn name. Fuck." -"I can't tell if you're a dude, or a chick, or a dude living as a chick, or a chick with a dick. But you're making me very confused about my own sexuality." -You Look like you frequent public gas station restrooms to steal used maxi pads outta the trash cans! -You look like you wear the exact same clothes everyday. The beard growth from 1st to 2nd pic but the exact same clothes confirms this. -In 3 pictures you went from girl to guy to... Maybe a boy? -yeah. you’re definitely someone who refers to their s/o as a “partner” -"So THAT'S what ""androgynous"" looks like" -Mom? -I bet you’re stinky gi guy -"First picture- biggest cameltoe fupa ever. -Second picture- how the fuck does a dude have Camel toe?" -I was gonna DM you for your OF link..now..what's your OF link?? -You were made in Gods image if he looked at his reflection in tinfoil -You look like your confused about everything -"Health is not a hobby, it’s something you lack mentally" -Looking at you brings a very special song to mind …. 🎶Dude looks like a lady! By Aerosmith. So you like musical instruments? Hmm I bet I can guess what instrument you like to play… 🪈 flute… I can literally hear you saying “this one time at band camp…” as always all in good fun. You seem like a great human being and nothing but love ❤️🌈 -The third picture is a mixture of the girl on the first picture and the guy on the second. It literally makes me want to delete Reddit and end my life -I ain’t even got nothing for this shit. -Not my proudest wank. -Is that a They or a Them? -Pics started out ok until you had to go and glue pubes onto your face -Mf dont look like a man at all i didnt even know you were a man till the second photo -first pic (in my head) “I’m totally cracking a joke about this chick having a bulge in the pants” swipes to second pic “oh shit” -Woah I thought you were a girl. I mean I didn't have my glasses on but still... -Your pronouns are I/suck. -"After seeing that first photo, you better hope you don't end up in prison, you'll be passed around like a basketball in a Lakers game." -"Average lookin dude, decent looking chic." -Should've swiped left before fapping -Congratulations on whichever way you’re transitioning! -Never go to prison. -I thought you were a girl -So this chick grew a moustache between pics 1 and 2 ? -Op roasted us lol -Crazy how you can look like both sexes yet attract neither of them -"As a chick, you're a 5. But as a dude, you're a 3." -U went from a bitch to a bloke with one stroke -Wait what? -Why did you post the picture with the filter first? -Objects in the mirror aren't as female as they appear. -BAMBOOZLED -What in the gender reassignment surgery is goin’ on here? 🤔 -Ranma 1/4 -You nunchucked yourself into a concussion -I thought you were a chick in the first picture -Wow if you hadn't put those other two pictures no one would have guessed you were a male -This chick decided she wasn’t changing her clothes until she finished transitioning -"Talk about an identity crisis, a transition from female to male back to female in the third picture lol" -"God: do you want to be man or woman? -OP: yes!" -"Pick a lane. You wanna be a woman or a man, stop picking and choosing." -Don’t ever shave again dude you look like a freaky 13 year old girl in the first pick. -I still don't know what you're trying to transition to but it's a fail regardless -"I am so confused. Uh…….idk. That’s definitely a camel toe in the first pic. Ok, so, how’d this girl grow a beard?" -Your gender and your smiley faces are backwards. -"The first and second photos look like a before and after sex change. The third looks like someone who doesn't care which you are because ""He's getting laid, tonight""" -Why would I ever roast the inspiration for the rock classic - Dude Looks like a Lady? -The bio helped. That is all. And may God have mercy on us all for picture #1. -How did you get uglier in each photo? -"At first I thought this chick had a massive moose knuckle…nope! Just a dude with womanly hips. I actually thought it was that girl on Instagram that always posts videos labeled, “ 24 year old mom of 4 cooks dinner in the trailer park.” I’m not kidding. Look her up!" -I’m too confused to roast you. -Pre op junk in those pants.. -Girls nowadays are growing beards -You gave ridiculously small handwriting. Boom! Take that. -Why do you post this EVERYWHERE???? -Their nickname is scrote -"Good grief dude, get an identity" -"i absolutely cannot understand this. wtf is going on???? is this intentional??? you would make the perfect undercover agent if your voice was neither masculine nor feminine. you had me in the first half, op. you had me in the first half." -WHERE IS AMERICAS TESTOSTERONE GOING?!?! -Are you male or female? -"Smug or stoned? Boy or girl? -Who cares. You occupy space. Like bread with bones but no nutrition. That is the sum of all you shall be." -Are we roasting a dude or a chick? -what'd you do with the chick in the first pic? -"Oh shittt, until I saw the second photo I thought you were a straight up female…" -You look like three different sexs and they all look wrong -What a wonderful girl.. oh -Chick's gotta pretty nice mustache -I don't need to Aerosmith made a song about it already. -“I AM INDEPENDENT” *partner pays for everything -I’m more confused about your sexuality than you are -I fucking for the life of me cannot tell what gender it is -I can’t tell if ur a girl a guy or the holy messiah -Okay so not only is OPs gender a complete mystery but also why in the hell is there a sink and mirror at the end of that hallway? -I have never been more confused. -What are you supposed to be? -There is an unmistakable bulge in that girl's pants! -# I know all there is to know about the crying game -"1st pic: chick's kinda mid, eh I'd prob still bonk -2nd pic: Why does the universe hate me" -"I am leaving this one alone fellas, it’s all you guys." -Honestly I thought you teenage girl and then I saw a beard and I don’t even feel like roasting anymore I’m just more confused and slightly scared -Are you a woman or a man? Make up your mind. -Pic one looks like one of Manson's girls -"Bearded lady at first, wild." -"I swear, the first picture looks like a chick." -Surgery go ok? -"At first glance, I thought you were an ugly female." -Your transition is going smoothly -"Whichever way you are transitioning, quit. Not just trasintioning, everything." -No roast I thought you were a girl at first fr -Are you a boy or a girl -You look like you want to ask how my relationship with our lord and savior is. -"Pic 1 - soccer mom that’s does yoga -Pic 2 - Johnny depp’s cousin who pumps gas" -You look like bad breath taste -You look better as a girl -Weird looking chick. Hopefully personality is ok. -Broke bf vibes to the fullest -I honestly thought you were a woman in the first pic. -Why are you wearing your brother's clothes?? Swipes right😳 -Hole or pole -Trailer Grift -Wicked under bite on that camel toe.... -"First picture: I’m a girl - -Second picture: I’m a man and now just grew a beard" -How many times you going to post this same thing ? -Your pronouns are ew/yuck -Roast they/them? -Shapeshifter! -You easily look like you could have been designed by Tetsuya Nomura. Shall I call you Captain Basch from Dalmasca? -First pic looks like a cute chick with a dick. The rest looks like a sad sack of shit. -Jean-Claude Van Shit -I felt betrayed -"This is 3 different siblings, all chromosomies" -"Pic 1: suburban Kansas mom - -Pic 2: the shrooms just kicked in" -Glad to see the hormones are taking. Best wishes on growing a dick. -Pulled the old switcheroo…just like mommy and daddy should have done with the baby next you you in the maternity ward -Trans? -Had us in the first half ngl -Dude went from a solid 7 as a chick to a sloppy 4 as a dude -Don't ever go to jail. Well maybe you might enjoy jt -To roast you I first need to know whether you’re a biological male or female and what you identify as. -Only owns one t shirt. -Is that Yoko Ono? -"First pic: damn she got a fat Cameltoe -*goes to second pic then goes back to first pic* -""OH no""" -One of these things is not like the other things -If TikTok sold Jesus -Dude looks like a lady. -Umm don’t date till you’re in your late 30s. Whatever team you decide to bat for I’m sure it will work out for you. -Wtf are you guy or a girl yuck -"How long have you been on testosterone therapy? - -Your Y chromosome is the only thing less active than you" -What's it like being one of the manson girls and was spahn ranch groovy? -Hey bro you slipped a picture of some ugly chick in your photo roll. -What are you 😂😭 -"I was thinking I had to roast 3 different people, then I figured out you had 3 genders." -Did you transition between photos? -Even with facial hair I still see a female -"Seriously, What the fuck. Stop the hormone replacement therapy." -"You know this guy follows women into the bathroom, you look that much like a girl and are creepy (which obviously you are based on the mustache and goatee) you follow women into the bathroom." -Send nudes said no-one ever to you -Is that your sister? -walmart penguinz0 -This profile represents all the genders and sexualities simultaneously -Well you apparently have the ability to change your gender at will so that’s kinda neat I guess -I literally opened Reddit and thought you were a chick on one of the pages I fapped to before and I'm like wait that's a dude with a goatee.....fuck it I said and I came on my phone right on your goatee thing....now you look like Bob seger with his white hair and beard -From the first picture I thought you were a girl -Thora Birch trying to sprout facial hair.. -This is what Miley Cyrus meant by best of both worlds -Happy transition -I’m honestly not sure what gender you are -"Pic 1-camel toe, pic 2/3-oh hell no" -Your transition is going great! ... no idea which way your going but yah.. -"Either looks like a 12 year old boy. Don't go to prison kid, you'll be passed around more than a 90 year old woman on the interstate in Los Angeles." -Your schizophrenia is showing. -When is the sex change operation scheduled? -Just cut your hair -"Your Gender is ""peaked when Nickelodeon did.""" -In the name of the holy spirit pls don't give such pic. And then destroy our spirit with another 🤢🤢🤮 -You're so high you don't remember posting this -Look up gender fluid and these photos appear -Two-faced and two mirrors.. just pass thru!! -Dude looks like a lady -Whatta we got here? You sit to piss or stand? -What whaaa -When you got that my ancestors survived the Oregon Trail and my family have been here ever since genes. -My first thought was she ain't even cute. -You look like a homely young woman in the first picture. -"1st picture ""This chick's bulge...""" -Do I smell pot roast -Do you usually wear your sister's clothes? -"Man, that hair ain't helping ya." -"Your pronouns are ""yes""." -Girl boy boy -Yoko Bono -*Awkward boner alert 🚨 -"The transition went well for you. Nothing to be sad about! In a few more years, the hormones will start to really show through." -You could make some real money in Thailand -"All these pictures make me think of is Lonely Island, 3 Way....It convinces men and women that it's okay to have sex because basically it's a man/woman and it's not gay in a 3 Way." -Liberal -"Holy crap... I swore this was a girl at first glance, then scrolled to the next pic. Spit seltzer all over my Mac haha Even my dog gave me the side eye." -I bet you identify as a windmill -I'm glad to see the hrt brought your hair back -"Wait, you’re a dude. Jesus Christ." -I'm only saving the first pic -If gender fluid was an actual person -You look like your sister at first glance. -I take it back when I said she was cute -Insta gender change -Sloppiest transition I've ever seen -"1 Look at **her** these comments are gonna be great. - -2 Oh shit **he’s** gonna get ripped in here. - -3 Never mind. **They** have some explaining to do." -Modern day sleepaway camp. -Felicia Gay -"We don't know whether to take you out for drinks, fuck you senseless, or turn you into the police." -Do you both have a incestuous only fan page? -I’m still confused at what’s going on here -I feel like you can’t run in a masculine way -A chick….oh damn. It’s a dude. -You might as well become a femboy -You’re like all three members of Hanson if they were from Kentucky. -Can’t tell if you’re a feminine looking dude or a manly looking chick -Well you don't need to use a filter to fool a predator -You are a great candidate for bottom surgery -You're the broke version of Roaringkitty in Dumb Money. -I guess common lesbian is your style -WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN THAT -my boy- i mean girl- i mean- fuck -I thought the first picture was a lesbian incel. -"Hi, I’m Pat" -In actually super impressed! 🤔😳 -Make up your mind and pick a gender already -Wait you’re a guy? Who tf did I just nut to? -You scrape off the golden shell of a plain bagle for being too spicy -Thought that was a chick with a beard. -You went from a chick to a dude in 1 swipe... rough one -Dry critikal -Ugliest bearded lady I've seen in a long time -Rob Schneider's kid ain't half bad for a second-generation talentless hack. -Hii prettyyy -I really hope lady Jesus never goes to prison. -"If you’re not transitioning, you should probably start because you’re already halfway there" -"OF vibe in the first photo. - -Taco Bell regular in the second and third." -"seeing he’s the type to call his girl his partner, there’s no way he’s not dealing with some dysphoria after that first and second picture too" -I bet you smell like the bulk foods section of a trader joe's -Let's pop some popcorn and watch It's Pat. -"First picture: Woman? Second Picture: Man? Third picture: Transgender. - -This set of photos could be an art piece called a journey to disappointment" -"k clearly the first pic isn’t the same person in the other two photos lol. you can tell because the hair is extremely different for starters, and the facial features and arms/hands. lol OP pulled a reverse UNO card and trolled/roasted us 😂😂. i even was bamboozled at first. touchè OP, good job igniting the confusion for everyone here 👌😂" -this reminds me of molly from shameless saying “oh that’s just my girl penis” -Catfool me once shame on me -Do we have to roast you? You already looked baked as fuck -"Walmart Felicia Day, oh that's a dude." -"Pic 1: Gets quoted $900 for a tire rotation. - -Pic 2: Free air filter with oil change." -"WTF JUST HAPPENED LOL. - -#magictrick" -Every single person who actually found you cute as a “girl” are the ones who deserve to be roasted here. -What kind of person are you 🤔 -Why’d you make your twin sister wear the same clothes in the first pic? -I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Euronymous -You’re so pretty -"I take it your pics are: -1) Before hormone replacement therapy -2) 6 months after hormone replacement therapy -3) After you decided to stop hormone replacement therapy" -"damn i didn’t know JimmyHere used reddit, awesome" -"Clayre/Nathan Thompson? -Smh" -I can't tell if you're a guy on estrogen or a girl on testosterone. -How do you manage to look so masculine yet so feminine at the same time? -"What wait, it's a dude" -"Bitch, get a job and make me a sammich! Punk ass bitch." -If you're going to shave the face the hair's gotta go. -Did you and your twin sister swap? Cuz if so that's great if not I'm so sorry -"Hey, how cheap was the transition procedures?" -iCarl -"Nice hair,nice shirt,and it's great that ur tuned into nature." -Jack and Jill Adam Sandler -"Bro, I thought you were a girl." -"You're a dude,? Didn't see that coming" -"Holy shit, who's roasting who around here? - -Take my, now imaginary, reddit gold." -Scarily that first picture looks like my ex girlfriend 🫨 -Broooo! We all got visually roasted by a girl. 🤌🏼 -"Dude looks like a laaaaday -Including camel toe in that first pic" -You're not playing by the rules. -"“Are you a dude or a chick?” - -“Yes”" -"If ""well actually"" was a person." -What in the *Sleepaway Camp* is this shit? -Omg it’s Charlie from supernatural! -Second picture made me audibly say “that’s a man??!“ -Even your photos don’t know whether you’re a male or female -"I’m so confused, first pic looks legit like a woman..even those hips..second looks like a man-boy" -Lol bitch -You're losing from both sides. -Sisterhood of the travelling pants but the pants have a big pile of shit in them because all of these sisters have extreme bowel diseases and you are all of those sisters in the hood rolled up into one steaming brown pile of feminine-ish man or something -What the fuck. -The second pic was a jump scare I though you were a girl😭 -"Thought you were a girl first picture. -Next few confused me even more" -You're the only person out there that could convince a trump supporter that nonbinary actually is a gender -You must be a pro at catfishing by now. How much money did you make out of it? -Anyone remember Pat from the old old old SNL? Think we found them. -Are you a boy or a girl -Elphaba vibes -There is not a chance the first and second pics are the same person -comment -"Your safe word is ""prolapse""." -Did you match your makeup foundation with the wall paint or your skin tone? 😁 -My deceased grandma would be happy her couch was made into a blouse. -"People are too focused on your kaiju arm to notice your face, and that's a plus I guess" -Whoreticia Adams -Nice eyebrows. What size Sharpie pen did you use? -Is that what happens to women’s arms when they masturbate too much? -When I see you all I can think off is skim milk -You look like you became a highschool teacher because you couldn't make it in porn. -Wtf is wrong with your arm ? 👀 -You look like that weird girl that doesnt fit in with the goths or academics. You definitely get caught picking your nose at work all the time. -How about a mirror -take your fake eyebrows and laugh at them -"I'm sure under that 2 inch thick mask of makeup, there is a handsome young man" -"Lol AI generated arm, your mom needs to update the software" -"Your arm is defying the laws of physics, and your face is defying the laws of attraction." -Look at the mirror and you’ll have your something -I think you have arm cancer -Does cum make your eyebrows run? -Ariel Winters from Wish -Your best feature is the filter you used. -You appear to be in a most unfortunate state of disarray and visual delcishment. -You look like a librarian -A roasting session before getting degraded in a porn scene ? -When she takes off the wig and makeup she is a fat bald Asian man -"Your eyebrows are making me laugh, does that count?" -"English Major, going to change the world" -No one expects much from you. But yet you still manage to disappoint. -"I take it the Botox is wearing off, given that you can raise one eyebrow 🤨" -More filters than I've used for coffee machines in my entire life -Have you not seen a mirror? -It must be great to be hit on by so mamy Reddit users. It must not be great that they are all gross. -"Get some sun, you're as pale as a dead chicken. Plus you look like a typical bitch who steals husbands." -Grab a mirror…look deeply into said mirror… Ought to find something you can laugh at. -I’m scared to roast a ghost. 👻 -Discount SSniperwolf -"I don't know if the carpet matches the drapes, but your face matches the wall" -Your arm hair are more than even my grandpa -"Those meaty ass claws, wtf is going on with your hand?" -The chance of you getting laid tonight is 100% -You left hand is so hairy its disgusting. I will puke. -That arm’s got more knuckles than a butcher’s shop. -AI rendering of a thalidomide baby. -When you raise your eyebrows they cover up your receding hairline. -those are man arms -Trim your arm hair first you sasquatch -Look in the mirror -Just look in the mirror. -Look in the mirror. -A mirror is a good start -r/whybrows -"Timid in the streets, unavailable in the sheets." -Take a look at your credit score. Laugh or cry. -That forearm tattoo is giving me heavy Anne Ramsey vibes. All you need is a black beret and you’d be set for a Goonies sequel. -Have a look at your eyebrows in the mirror and smirk. What a waste of a lovely face. -You look like you think the professor you're dating will one day leave his family for you. -Did you draw your eyebrows on with the same pen you made the roast me sign with? -You look like cat -your eyebrows look like curved minuses -With the amount of clown makeup you have on I had assumed you'd be making the jokes. -Ever since you and that hunch back of yours were banished to that bell tower your arms are looking jacked 💪🏼. -"Wow, love that new beauty tip: Shave eyebrows. Draw lines on face with a Sharpie. Sound decision!" -Looks like somebody practiced calligraphy on your forehead -"If you'd give a blowjob, it'd look like anal" -Using a filter doesn’t actually get rid of your oatmeal texture face. -You look like Chester the cheeto -Look in the mirror. -Just get a mirror -Make sure you read up on HPV. -"Dick Dastardly called, wants his moustache back." -"Draw your eyebrows further up, they said. It'll make your forehead look smaller, they said." -Humpty from Shrek ahh face -"Small penis, large ego" -You need to add more filter to your photos. please! -Top 95% on OF -"No problem, seeing which hole you're sticking it in. She definitely glows in the dark" -You are one image filter setting away from becoming part of the wall behind you. -Looks like a CNA that tells her family she's a RN -Monday Addams -You look like the prelude of almost all Horror film protagonist . -Vet tech who tries to milk cats -"Alright, here goes: - -""With those thick glasses, I can only assume you're either seeing the future... or just reading the fine print at the optometrist’s office."" - -But hey, you’re so beautiful that even the lenses can’t hide your shine!" -You serious bang yourself to much -When your skin tone is 'eggshell' the only way is up. -I’ve never seen a person made out of porcelain before. -If you want something to laugh at I suggest the mirror. -The mirror already does that everyday -A mirror -"Your arm is shaped like Groot's, but why" -No one is commenting on this because you look boring and bland af. -"Take your short off. You might not, but we'll all get a laugh out of it." -I would but you seem to already have some -I hated her in orange is the new black -"I wish, but I can't show you your future - -(sorry)" -Why don't you do it yourself? Mirrors aren't that expensive. -How about a mirror -"Look in the mirror, problem solved" -Take a photo without filters. -Take your thin lips and eyebrows and move on. -A mirror. -A face so sad even the eyebrows are frowning. -"Okay. Get in the oven, witch." -"wow, i could stare at you in order to prevent premature ejaculation so 🙏you" -Daughter of Monica Lewinsky and Al Franken -Look at that deformed hand -- this is an AI-created image. -alex vause -I can see your mom belly from here -"If you look at the mirror in those glasses, there will be a paradox of 2 ugly bitches staring at each other for all of eternity." -"This is the before pic for your ""acting"" audition on the black loveseat" -"you seem like a nice girl. But this is the USA, so the only way you can make your rent is to shame yourself for money on lonelymans" -*silently passes OP a mirror* -The glasses are fake...it's just her porn accessory -You look like a lesser used Mia Khalifa. -How about a mirror? -Yeah you graduated from Slytherin XD -You already have something to laugh at everytime you look in the mirror. -You look like you were drawn by an AI trained on a google image search for “thin lines” -If you want a laugh just take a look at the mirror then -My what a sexy filter you have. 🥴 -Glad that you’re saving money using the same pen that you drew your eyebrows with to write “roast me” on paper. -The smart chick from modern family really fell on hard times. -A mirror? -How about a mirror? -AI still sucks at eyebrows. -what is it means gamba ? .... -Just look at your bad tattoos. I know everyone else gets a good laugh every time we see them. -Well you previously posted asking “can I watch horror movies while pregnant” so maybe try spending your time on a more educational subreddit? :) -Grab my strong hand -I'd say mirror but I think you use that to cry  -Amy Lee with claw hands -"One mirror, coming right up." -A mirror -"If u can draw ur hand too, ud make it as sharp as ur eyebrows" -a mirror!? -Have you tried the mirror? -Give you something to laugh at? 🤷‍♂️ Ok. *holds up mirror* -Kat Von D- -This picture didn't work? -"Hold up your phone. - -Turn on the front camera. - -Think about the chances that the face you're looking at will ever amount to anything more than a drunk frat boy's last resort. - -Done." -Got a little wrist action there. -4 eyes -Do you have two different eye colors or is that your cyber heart beat showing? -Those eyebrows -Look in the mirror and you will see enough things to laugh at -A mirror? -"""I'm on birth control, I promise."" We not fallin for it" -"Give me something to laugh at - Well Your self respect , career growth , sex life. I gave you three" -"You look like a primery school teacher who thinks she's ""down with the kids""." -Hows life now you’re out of Litchfield Penitentiary? -See a specialist for that Looney Tunes arm. -give me something to to laugh at is what your mom said to your dad the day you were conceived. also what your siblings said to your mom before shoe shat you out her womb. -Your tweezing is bad and you should feel bad. -That's a man. -Go get a mirror -Do you use magic marker for those eyebrows or just axle grease? -"Good news, Sharpies are on sale for Black Friday!!!!" -Here a mirror now look real close And see what everyone else is laughing at. -I need consensus first -Omg how many fingers did you have cut off?!?! -Mona Looza -"""give me something to laugh at"" -Given a mirror" -Bore-a the Explorer. -Did you use a sharpie to draw those brows? -Amy Lee-king balls -Eyebrows are not a personality -"Remember when your mom told you if you made that face too long, it would stay that way? Well, looking at your finger, it appears that goes for digging in your butt and smelling it, too." -I bet your chicken has no seasoning -This is good advertising for a mortician's work. -A future in super fisting. -Just look in the mirror -reddit hasn't done any 'arm has it? -"I can’t post a mirror from Europe, it’ll break." -"I would, but I'm not allowed to NSFW content." -Whiter than the paper she holdin -Where’s Mr. Adam’s -You can laugh at the way your eyebrows are shaped -Look in a mirror. It's like an all you can laugh buffet. -Temu Amy Lee -You look like the recipient of Kylie’s old lips -Your whole life is a joke. I don't think you another stranger to give you something to laugh at. -I want to give you a mirror so you can see yourself and laugh -Here's a mirror. -"No need, you just need a mirror!" -Shut up Meg -Good to the dollar store and buy a mirror. Guaranteed you won't stop laughing. -Here’s a mirror -You sure gave us something to laugh at. -"Damn, God must have been having a rough day when he made you." -Just look in the mirror -Your eyebrows. -With that palm of hers I'm sure she humbles every dude she goes up against in an arm wrestling match... -Mennonite reject. -How may old chairs had to die to make that shirt? -You look like you work at a morgue and you like to smell the bodies -You look like an overused cum rag -Eyebrows by Hobby Lobby -Your stepdad must love you. A lot. Like you should probably just stay on the pill and not tell your mom. -Why do I have to give you something to laugh at? All you have to do is look in a mirror. -Why do I get the feeling that your lower back looks like something you’d find in the bath after you’d had a Sasquatch stay for the week? -"We up this morning and thought ""my eyebrows just aren't evil enough""" -Your skin almost blends in with the wall. -You have the eyebrows of a cartoon villain -Your eyebrows look like grocery store sale price signs -Here is a mirror. -You look like a Temu version of Laura Prepon. -Just look at your subscriber count on only fans if you really want to laugh. -If you want something to laugh at just go look in the mirror -You look like you sport a 70’S bush. -The first Pre-Practice girl I've ever seen. -I feel like an IQ test we give you plenty to laugh at -The shape of your head makes me think of the movie coneheads -"good wake up and have good morning or have good afternoon and great day for your - - project for - -married for example you are beautiful girl you have dark brian green eyes I would like to see you as soon as we can I'm ready if you would married with me but one condition YOU EMBRACE ISLAM AND - -Commitment to the Qur’an and Sunnah - - - -only if you can't love me you can't stay with me - - - -Commitment to the Qur’an and Sunnah - - - -my language is arabic and franche and a lot of english - -have a nice day - -I hope to have see you soon - -houssam" -Is your name V (for Vendetta)? -Something to laugh at? Have you seen those eyebrows? Are they on purpose? -"https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/AbOgSMUGcM - -This got me laughin." -You look like you react to YouTube videos for a living -You should be the Banner pic for r/whybrows -Your eyebrows look like a peel off sticker -Just grab a mirror :p -Born and then fast track to nurse -If white out were personified -Your smile says happy but your eyes say lithium or equivalent antidepressant -How you gonna laugh? You got no lips -You’re the one with a mirror. -You’re too far away to give you a mirror -Dollar Tree Amy Lee -You scream cheap witchcraft -You look like you sew your own clothes and cushions for fun. -Amy Lee from temu -"You look like at some point in your life, you flipped a coin and decided heads meant ""white Pocahontas"" - -Also your bones are dyslexic" -"If you photoshop those eyebrows inverted under your nose, you'd have a pretty convincing Guy Fawkes mask." -"Give you something to laugh at? What's the need, you already have that face..." -Alex from Orange is the new black -Look in the mirror. -Look in the mirror you ugly bitch -If you draw those eyebrows higher the results might surprise you. -Someone hand her some makeup remover and a mirror. That's all she is really asking for. -Look in the mirror -"The cheap ink that was used to make that blouse has run onto your arm leaving, a horrible tattoo-shaped blotch." -Your mirror doesn’t give you enough to laugh at? -Was it just me or did anyone else take a second to see her from the background? -Your eyebrows look like they’re trying to fly away so they don’t have to be part of that face -Is Casper your dad -Are those reading glasses or cum catchers ! -"Damn you really equiped the ""Woman Basic Pack 3"" for the face" -Get a mirror -"So, why’d you get a breast reduction after Modern Family?" -"We live in such a progressive society, even the ghosts can post and get roasted." -It looks like you ran your eyebrows through a pencil sharpener before you pasted them on your face. Way to go. You really give blue-haired old ladies something to aspire to. -"I bet you sleep well at night knowing you have drawn on eyebrows. You don’t even do a good job, which is worse." -Transplant some of that arm hair to your eyebrows and you may get roasted 3% less. -Nice shirt. Did you inherit it when your grandmother died? -Whose grandmother's grave did you have to rob for that hideous dress? -Go to the mirror and look at your fake eyebrows for a laugh. -Shut up Meg. -"Look in the mirror, if we have to look at you, so should you" -"You have more arm hair that I do, and I’m a guy…" -"You try to be hard to get, when in reality you are hard to want." -"You look like the girl of my dreams… - -The ones I can’t remember." -I’m just browsing 👀 -A mirror? -You are what we call a “practice girl.” -Not a roast but just an observation that one eye is slightly smaller than the other. -No need to have the light on; we know you glow in the dark. -Like a mirror? -Two of those in the pink would tear most girls in half -What's going on with your hand/wrist? -Can you confirm if T-rex are attracted to flares and like to eat goats? -Can you confirm if T-rex are attracted to flares and like to eat goats? -🪞 -You look like Amy Lee took the definition of Evanescence literally. -Congratulations. You somehow figured out how to screw up multiple beauty filters on your photos. -You look really good >!at taking photos that hide how fat you are!< -Look in the mirror... -Look like you charge 200 -Give me something to laugh at is what your dad said after he pumped your momma full of deadbeat juice -Morticia Addams if she had a baby with Sheldon’s girlfriend -Jesus Christ. Does everyone on Reddit have nose rings? -"""give me something to laugh at"" -Nobody's gonna give you nothing. You have a mirror at home." -No roast. I think you're very pretty -You’re face is shaped like a potato -Reflection not doing it? -Exquisitely unremarkable in every conceivable way. -You read just that wrong -"“Hey, I have a Chinese boyfriend and eat ramen all the time” head ass bitch" -If Wednesday Addams was a Mormon. -"Amy Lee wants her soul back, witch!" -Did you draw those eyebrows with a Sharpie -Your eyebrow lady’s right eye wanders -All the filters in the world couldn’t smooth that janky arm. Makes me wonder what kind of water hag from The Witcher is hiding under the filter spell. -Lemme just screenshot this and send it back to you -You already got somethin to laugh at my friend -I would have thought just looking in the mirror would have taken care of that -Evanescence called and you’re needed on stage -I got a mirror you can borrow -How about my small penis -you're a fat female who has tattoos -Another filter and you’d be a generic brand vodka. -The state of the US. -"You should look in the mirror, then!" -Amy Glee for NeverEssence -I need new glasses -If you want something to laugh at just look in the mirror -Sure thing….follow me to the bathroom -You look like you stay inside at night to avoid getting moon burned -"Yo bitch ass looks like a retired pornstar who just got fired from her job an mc donalds cuz she got horny when making a cheese burger with extra pickles.. - - - - -Ur glasses look like they taken from ssSniperwolf , and ya aint gon lie look like her fuckin daughter.. -Soo yeah. -There you go." -"Why does your wall have a set of glasses, a wig and some googly eyes? Are you related to John Cena?" -If an unenthusiastic blowjob had a face -"I didn't take a look at your appearance, but I did a profile research, so according to your gaming interests there's a 90% chance you're a real woman." -Great job doing those eyebrows with Shrek hands -Banana hands. -I have a mirror. Laugh away -Looks like Mosses not only split the sea... -Grab a mirror -When you audition for the Incredibles live action movie but get the sloth position in the remake of gooneys. -As soon as Bridgett dies you’ll be the hottest sister wife. -The ring face reveal -Store bought SSSniperwolf -Just look in a mirror -Your hair lip and flat ass should be enough for a laugh. -Your eyebrows fukcin hate you and each other -"OK! 1ST! Hello! My name is Jose! -Lets get started! -...... -....... -......... -D@mn! I can't.... - -....................2nd step of the recipe says ""Insert the Spic et from the end of the bird and exiting through the neck"" - -Yeah right! If i was hung like that i woulnd't need to make her laugh!!" -A mirror -I can't give you a mirror...so.... -"Your freehand eye brows. It made me laugh, so try that." -Your blouse and very pale skin scream I have a bush and only give bj’s twice a year. -"You asked for it!! - -*Starts to unzip Donald Trumps pants....*" -No. -Permanently surprised eyebrows -Paint them brows on bro paint that shit on -I bet guys just take turns on you while casually having a conversation about cars and sports. You are just there to get their loads. -I'll hand you a mirror... -Nah. I suspect children's misery is all you laugh at -Your eyebrows..they’re pretty laughable -Why did you filter your pic so much my God you have no pores 😭 -A mirror? -Shane Gillis -you suck so much dick that you graduated from sucking your own thumb to sucking your own arm sucka cum loade. -it's the nerdy ghost -Always dresses up as a dirty nurse for Halloween -I think we found the author of My Immortal -"That arm make a knife like the terminator ? -Or is it more like omicron vibes ?" -Definitely does anal -You look like the last child picked at the orphanage. -“Roast me” but let me filter the fuck outta this pic first. -"Look in the mirror, you'll laugh... Then cry" -You are so boring to look at I can’t even think of something to roast you with. I guess your boring nothingness appeal is your superpower. -Have you ever seen the sun? -Hey chatGPT give me a picture of a basic female side character -The only thing to laugh at is your prospects of being anything other than the lady turning tricks behind the Denny's dumpster -Sometimes I Sharpie my eyebrows too. -Apparently your husband isn’t giving you enough attention. I wonder why? -comment -How's it feel to only be attracted to effeminate white dudes who are exclusively attracted to other effeminate white dudes? -So this is what happens to Asians who are bad at math. -"Body of a 12 yr old boy, and the face of a 12 yr old boy." -"Your heard of ladyboy, here’s boylady" -I honestly can't tell are you a dude or a chick? -"The whole pronoun thing is getting way out of hand, but in this case it would be helpful." -"You're confusing a lot of us, and I'm gonna be more confused if your name is Kim" -"Dude, these ladyboys are starting to almost pass!" -you might be interested to know that there’s a brand new site starting called zero fans…sign up -If I’m attracted to this does that mean I’m a gay? Asking for my buddy -“Why you no have boyfriend?!” - Mom…forever -You were great as Keno in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltles 2. -There's shaming your ancestors... Then there's \*this\*... 😒 -How do you switch genders like that? -"I have to give it to OP, you take these comments like a champ." -Saving money on bras and food -As plain as rice without water. -I am hoping to see you on a real life version of Squid Games -What’s wrong with your face? You look like a Cambodian fruit farmer who swings on trees. -Liu Kang the early gay years.. -Dude you should look into the face feminization surgery they do these days -I have more tits than you and I'm a guy -I would say it's okay for you to participate in womens sports but I just can't shake the feeling that you piss while standing. -It certainly looks like you haven’t bathed in 8 days. -I have a feeling 45+ year old white guys are always trying to slide into your DMs in return of offering you a passport. -Connie Souphanousinphone lookin but Bill Dautrive brains. -Aren't you glad you're not in he home land working day 8 of a 365 day work year. -I’ll throw some rice at the finish line to help motivate you. -"Isn't child labor illegal? -You look like you're 9." -Gay? -Stop trying to be a girl. You’re not good at it. -Beijing Duck with dumplings on side -When my phone arrive? -If you weren't ugly you could be a hooker and not clean toilets for change. -Nike has you working that much? Probably saving up for a candy bar -On day 8 of your 14 day work week you look like a 14 year old cosplaying as an 8 year old. -Chill bro my girlfriend uses this app -"What a stunning young..... - -I don't fucking know anymore" -Roasting you is as easy as 1+1= chick with a dick. -"Those aren’t her gang signs, they’re her pronouns." -That little boy looks cute in a dress. -You are the kind is masseuse I’d pay to NOT give me a happy ending. -You got the body of a notebook. -"Young man, we stopped Asian hate in my country." -You look like you just finished your 14 day work week -"Long work weeks are difficult enough. Hopefully, you find some relief in knowing that there is no way you'll look any worse at the end of this one." -Girl or boy? Confused. -Da fuck am I looking at? -"🎵Back stage we're having the time -Of our lives until somebody said -""Forgive me if I seem out of line,"" -Then she whipped out a gun -And tried to blow me away🎵 - -(This is from a song. If you know, you know)" -Can’t tell your gender but either way you’re definitely gay -"How many people are in these photos? Is it a filter or something? - -In the first one is a ladyboy. That Adam's apple is huge. - -In the second one is a 12 years old girl. - -In the third one is a preteen boy. - -In the fourth is another preteen boy. The nose is different. - -Am stopping here." -"Hey look, it’s Hom Lee!" -"Is roasting a 12 year old boy even legal, is this child abuse" -"There we have it, the antidote to cure all Asian fetishes" -The Lizard People in the Holow Earth are testing out the new bodies to see if they can fool up. But they always give themselves away by eating the neighbors chicken. -"Don't trip, once you hit puberty and grow facial hair, people won't be confused anymore" -At least your pimp thinks you're special. -You look like you stopped growing when Nagasaki got bombed -You look like 9 different people. -“Thats a woman?” - Lorax -"I honestly dont even know what you are, so you win, take this one weird effeminate asian creature" -You look like you’re that one supportive team mate on Valorant who everyone just wants to shut the fuck up -Never went to Prom. Eats back door like groceries -Didn’t know child labour was still a thing -Is your job getting punched in the face? -Don't listen to all these other fuckers. You're a beautiful man. -She hehehehehe -Hans from Fast and Furious if he slayed -"Ahh, so that's why prof oak always asks the gender" -No one's gonna make a sweat shop joke? -Non binary has evolved into negative binary -So how many iPhones have you assembled so far? -Disappointed Asian parents -The trash bag dress is suiting. -"I always wanted to know something and you can help me out here. What is it like being a ""Lady Boy"" in Taiwain?" -You should call the cops immediately. Someone stole your tits! -I can’t tell if you're an ugly dude or a fugly chick. -Those surgeons did a bang up job getting rid of your Adam’s apple. Top notch work. Worth every cent. -No wonder those army soldiers were so confused in Vietnam. -"So when you are working in your Asian brothel and a John nuts in you, are you called a twinkie?" -I know a man when I see one -You spent all of this money on your face and yet it’s a face no one is going to see because they can’t tell if you’re a boy boy or a girl. 😂 -"Let's be honest. You *also* don't know if you are a dude or a girl. - -I'm kinda here for it though" -8 days in? Isnt it a lifetime of servitude in Dubai? Now get to work. -Apple let their slave workers outside? -"If that dress didn't have one strap, it would be around your ankles." -A week has 7 days in it. I thought Asians were good with numbers. -You look like people walk out when they see you walk in the room at the happy ending massage parlor. -You look like you suffer from an incurable disease. -My country only sells black cloth. -Wait a minute… I thought you died in Tokyo drift. -What you said to your barber with that hair cut of yours. -You exist in a painful space where you are simultaneously a slightly ugly woman and a slightly pretty man. -That child sweatshop is despicable for putting you on that work schedule. But I guess the work of manufacturing sweat is never done. -I can’t tell if you’re a boy or a girl the dress says I like you but the next picture looks like you call your boyfriend bro during sex -"""Do ur worst pls"" - -You need to stop saying that to your stylist." -The short hair doesn’t support your struggling femininity -"At least if you're riding a bike and you need grease for your chain, you can just run your hand through your hair." -You look like a dude who'd be friends with someone named Mike -"“ It was beautiful Stu, I shot my load into you and you shot your load onto the floor”" -How many handies you giving at the massage parlor in 14 days? -"Listen, as long as you don’t fatality me turning into a dragon we’re good." -"Hey, at least you know you're funny!!" -Sasuke Uchiha after HRT💀 -Cum dumpsters have work weeks who knew -I still can't believe you survived your crash when you raced against Drift King. Amazing -Glad to see you didn’t turn to drugs after growing up on the set of Modern Family -You look like you're as confused about your sexuality as everyone else is about your gender. -Either an unattractive 14 year old boy or a very unattractive 14 year old girl. Either way there will be tampons for you in one of the washrooms. -I've always wanted to know this: do they actually put mail order brides in the mail and what was your postage? -"A trans-gender Lu kang, -I dig it 😉 hehe" -You look like a gay femboy who doesn't wipe his ass hasn't showered in days smells like poopy dookie -You look like bisexual black licorice -pick a gender already and stick to it . -Man? Woman? Minion? Minion seems like the closest physical comparison. -You look like a fingerprint  -So I said to the barber.... give me the Asian Billy Ray Cyrus... -Ironing board build -Explain how you look 12 and 24 at the same time -I pity your coworkers who will have to go thru hell for 14 days straight because of you little demon -"dayum u ugly as fck, you look like a fly on the poop" -"Hey I remember you! Bangkok was awesome, am I right?" -How much? -"You look like you respond to every question with ""I Ladyboy!!""" -I don't know if I'm looking at a 12 year old girl or a 17 year old boy -Can’t tell if you are a man or a woman -I never realized fulfilling altar boy fantasies was a 14 day no breaks job. -If a man and a woman had a child. -You do good math -Anyone wanna fuck this phantom menace droid? -You look like a real life version of some random mundane Roblox RP character my friend would have made in 2023 -Holy shit Glenn from walking Dead was resurrected.... And he looks rough... -Dude you look pretty for a guy ... -How many times have you changed your pronouns in the last 8 days? -Only you could make that sexy dress so unsexy! -Male or female? -Is this a dude? -Congrats on your transition. -"So, exactly at what age did you decide to transition?" -Is that a woman?? -What a handsome little boy! -Which way are you transitioning again? -"Good luck on your transition, hopefully by next year we know what way you're going" -Wait I can't tell if your a boy or girl ..... -Didn’t know that ladyboys had official work weeks -are you guy or a twink? -I can't tell if this is a dude or a chick -Ur just ugly -Listen here. I don't know what you are but your vote shouldn't count. -What a nice looking young man. -"Let me guess, you came up with your user name when you tried a tittie drop." -Is bro male or female? It doesn't matter anyways... -Your a whole sub section on porn hub. -So the tech is good enough to rebuild you in 14 days! Make sure they add enough meat on you   -"Does a 14 days work ""week"" make you a slave? 🤣" -"One up the bum, no harm done......." -Every guy that has ever slept with you has committed necrophilia. -I don't think it's healthy to have that many sexual partners in a span of 14 days -"There's a man that has no friends, he might give you a relationship." -"Nooo, im a ladyboooooy - -Nooo you're nooot, you're beautiful. - -Nooooo, im a ladyboooy" -Nobody has any idea if you are a boys or girl. All Asians look the same ☠️ -If you go backwards from 8 to 1 it’s about an Asian chick that has a “Grudge” and proceeds to turn into a little Asian boy! -"If you didn’t look like a boy, you’d be really hot 🥵" -14 days in the Nike factory -As Jerry Lewis might have said (between bouts of shame) “Lady Oy!” -Nah I am scared of your samurai sword! -tyger me i prest bij your presentation must be the worst dad joke i heard so far. -"you are a Chester’s dream. They get the fix of being with a minor, yet your of legal age. Your attractiveness is the only down side. so, ugly kid." -I believe that would be a work fortnight. -Someone has to make them Nike's -You look like the type of Asian weaboos would be obsessed with -Dear Lord....someone tell Matt Gaetz to find another one -This dude looks like his mother who told her that week has 14 days when you have to work. -You look like a pre-teen with a trash bag toga -Spoiler: those are normal sized eyes painted on their face -"In this case, can I pay you to skip the happy ending?" -14 days! You've been loving long time -Are u zim or zer -Boy Oh Boy! -"You'd be ranked alongside eldritch horrors when it comes to the most heinous ""Hear me out, guys..."" Ranking." -That second pic makes you look like a little boy dressing up in his mom's dress. -Ay bro nice transition progress! HRT really working for you! Love the Sims quality arms. Probably should've spent more time in character creation though. Love how your face is 60% forehead and 20% nose 😁 (good call not showing teeth on most photos 👍) why yo eyelids bald tho ? -Isn't there a forest calling your name? -It might benefit you to eat a 2 piece and a biscuit. Your ass is scraggly. -"Under achieving Temu employee head ahh, Mulan stunt double head ahh, I’m grounded cuz I gotta A- in calculus head ahh, Ash Ketchum baby mama lookin ahh, mediocre spring roll lookin ahh." -pretty jawn or john? -"I'm confused 🤔 but I like it, it's like a mystery box... It could be anything! 😂" -Smash either way -"I don’t think we need to roast you, your genes already are doing enough work against you." -I could be blackout drunk in Bangkok and you wouldn't fool me bro -Polo . -"You’re a handsome wee fella, I’ll give you that!" -We have found the antidote to: PREDATORS -"When you are 30, but also 14, a guy, but also a girl, but also a transgender, all in one package." -Your the prettiest lady boy I’ve seen so far -"Photo #4 reminds me of a basket fuck in Subic City, except I always chose a woman and not a little boy like you. Tell your Aunt thanks, she was a fun 17 y/o." -Beigesian -"Dude, just go and wash your hair, you could probably fry 10 bags of fries with all that grease on your head." -Your father's genes didn't even make an effort. -"There's habibi—term for men and the gender neutral, and habibti—term for women. - -What are you if you aren't either ""habibi"" or ""habibti"" and more beyond ""habibi""?" -"That Dior bag needs to be paid somehow,so keep working!!!🤔🤦‍♂️🥴" -Mamasan serving the Red Army in Ukraine -Why is there a little boy in my feed? -Blud is not the main character 💀 -"If you’re sick of your job at the sweatshop, you can always try you hand at being s*x trafficked." -Picking up watermelons is your day job? -Next time tell us ur gender so we don't have to guess 💀 -"Protein, kimchi and relaxations ... you good- just get the work life balance working for you" -"Amos Yee, how you been?" -A reddtors dream boy -I got my pecker sucked by a girl like you in Nam for $3.50 -Maybe if you didn't have a Dior bag you wouldn't have to work 2 weeks straight. -You look like a young Jackie Chan -Hey congrats on your transitioning!!! -*Cries in Masculine Lady Boy* -Wow! 14 day work week. They are really pushing those Lady boys. You guys should unionize. -Good luck on your transitioning -U look like an 8 year old boy. -What a handsome woman. -Wow! I didn't know ladyboys had such a long work week. Your butthole must be shredded by the end of your work week -"You look like you could pass as both a girl and a guy, but still be wildly unattractive as either version. Either would definitely be single (for life)" -You look like the kind of person who would bitch about having to work 14 days in a row. Your Asian parents must be soooooo proud -Someone needs to feed you -I hope you are saving up for a set of tits and a cheeseburger cause God damn... -So 16 hours into your 14 day work week? Cool. -Holy shit you look like the server I had today at the Nong Lá cafe I went to today. Like an exact copy of him. -"You’re the dude who catfished my straight male friend on Tinder in Thailand, aren’t you?" -Show us your penis. -Well I'll say this much: you're the most convincing trans I've seen in a while. -"A week has seven days, genius. You work in a sweatshop, but we appreciate that you are absorbing three American jobs from overseas. Fuck off." -In my state massage parlors aren't allowed open on Sundays -"Oooo rook at me, Me so sad I rook rike boy" -"You look like where this world is trying hard to be . I can't tell what are u you , guy , girl ? Who knows , neither you" -We know math isn’t your strong point. 14 day work week. -Good luck on your gender reassignment surgery procedure. 👍 -"Lady man, love you long time." -Yo it's Pat -When you order your waifu pillow from Wish -it's good to get away from the sweatshop every once in a while -"These photos just said “Bruh”and “my guy” -100 times" -you look like a ladyboy -Do you blow the circus workers while they are in town for work? -14 day work week? You in concentration camp or something?? -Those FIFO jobs as a transgender prostitute must be a tough gig. -"Unless part of your job is taking weirdass wilderness pics and uploading to this sub, I'd say knock it off and get back to work: You still have 6 days left in this work cycle." -"I’m not sure what your pronouns are, but in this thread, mine are no/nope." -Must be great to be able to switch gender without surgery... -lol -My iron board has more curves than this boy. -Who knew you could be born a Thai lady-boy -Does your mom and dad know your putting images of yourself on the internet. Have them dm me and I’ll tell them about some software they need to download to keep there child safe. -Cute boy -Looks like before and after pics for the Asian trans kid -"Guy. Ah, girl. Oh, boy. Nah, was a girl. Damn, not sure" -I think i see your helicopter parents hiding in the background -Your face gives me memories of the Ownage Prank Angry Asian restaurant prank 😀 -I think Chok is more appealing than you will ever be. -Only 14 days? Temu must’ve started a union -"Dim sum duck lips! Love to see plain looking humans doing plain people things. Has a calming effect, the way things ought to be!" -which one of the 9 people? -What work? Looks like they are just screening around -You make it sound like you want us to feel bad knowing yall Asians have kids working sweat shops for pennies on the dollar -You look like a gay Brandon Lee -I have never been so confused in my life for a person's gender. -"Put the fork down. If you're going to pretend to be a girl, should at least not be fat." -Why aren’t you In Taiwan trapping unexpecting men by showing them your 9 inch dick? -You look like every character in 90’s karate movies -Life after being human trafficked -Are you gay by any chance? -Your too happy I don't believe you actually have a job -14 day work week? That’s alot of chow mein. -"I can’t tell if you’re male, female, 45, or 12" -"Life is, and cocks are, hard when you’re street meat." -It takes 14 days to work out whether you're a boy or a girl -Are you male or female? -“I’m lady boy” -You are transitioning well. I don’t know which way though!!! -Is this a goy or a birl -dumaster fire alert -Maths clearly isn’t your strong point. FYI there are only sevens days in any week. -The only thing worse than your looks are the guys who will emotionally attach them selves to you because they are secretly gay -I've seen femboys that looked more feminine -"I mean idk, u look like u do be grindin 🤷‍♂️" -I thought Asians were good at math? -How many sets of nails have you worked on during those 8 days? -How did you get the internet in North Korea? -Look gawd dammit eat a sandwich with your skinny ass! The fuck you got worms or something? -U look like ur transitioning I just can’t tell which direction you look shit in either one -Someone tell that chick to watch out for the dude in the other pictures. He looks a little sketchy -How does it feel knowing that femboys are less likely to be mistaken for a man? -"So, Short Round finally made it out of the Temple of Doom, and onto Reddit. Good for you!" -Hear me out.. -r/lesbianorlittleboy -ik this isn’t a roast but i’m an androgynous woman and i see u afff! you seem super dope and have a cool look -There are 7 days in a week. -"Wow, I now get why some guys are turned on by femboys!" -Your job clearly doesn’t give you lunch breaks -Didn’t you play Tuan in Good Morning Vietnam? -Im waiting for you to take my food order -"You guys, I’m pretty sure this is just a test to see if you think all Asian people look the same, that is 9 different people." -"Big check, big meal I hope" -I’m angry that they left the Cheerio box open just to collect dust -Is this what happens when you drink the street cooking oil in China? -"Working so hard but still a slave to the government - -My shoulder wasnt big enough to hold up my night gown" -Me not so horny -Is it really hard being transgender you have to work at it or just the fact that you're born ugly is good enough reason to put on women's clothes you are a man right -This looks like a they/them presentation for open-minded but ignorant boomers. -You posting your face should suffice -comment -"Your tits are so uneven that if you entered a wet t shirt contest, you’d get 5th and 8th place." -Proof that there are giant insects all over Australia -Your jawline grew but your tits didnt -Ive never seen such small tits droop so low -When were you 23? 20 years and two failed marriages ago? -You are the only thing more useless than your bra -You didn’t have to give us two angles. From the first we could tell there wasn’t much there. -"Australian chicks are hot - -Found the exception" -That dress wasn’t meant to be worn by boys -I’m betting you’re the only fan of your OnlyFans. -"One tit bigger than the other, we call her biggie smalls" -Your dress is gorgeous! You wouldn’t happen to have a pic of it without you in it? -From Australia? Is that why your tits are Down Unda your waistline? -"28, lives with their parents. Face of an unsuccessful MMA-Fighter, body of a couch potato but needs to be humbled? What?" -Your pictures look like a Netflix True Crme Documentary. -Looks like your genetics did a fine job humbling you already -"You're the definition of last woman standing. A guy at a bar looks at you and says, ""eh, that'll do the job""." -"You would have been a handsome male, but genetics decided to punish your lineage with a very masculine flat body resemblance of a what appears to be a female specimen" -You look like a dingo ate your baby and you didn’t care. -Goal of the week: septum ring -Crikey it’s the dingo that eats babies! -Pre-op's are really convincing nowadays. -Your face makes me proud to be an American. -That frying pan smack to the face appears to have been repeatedly applied to your chest as well -What exactly is that top supposed to show off? -The Blunder from down under. -Gal Gadot action figure made in China by a drunk 4 year old. -The Wicked Witch From The Land Down Under. -When you ask AI to make Australian women and this picture comes up. -Only 23 and you are already past your prime. -When you have to rip your clothes to prove you have tits. -"Why are you trying to show off your flat chest in that andre the giant wanna-be shirt? - -At least his tits were nicer than yours. - -Don't worry though, I think your jawline has his beat." -Gal Gadont -"When God decided what gender you would be , he also though about going to a psychologist about his uncertainty mental problem" -"You have a beautiful brown eye. Oh, wait. That's your dog's buttole. Never mind. Your dog seems nice!" -"Keith Urban, Kylie Minogue and Yahoo Serious…nothing good comes out of Austrailia or on your trashy face." -You'd make a really good ugly step sister from Shrek impersonator. -Succubus -You look like human avatar of an Indian cow. -She hasn't pooped in ages! -I see why Australian dudes would rather date Asian women... -If i was gay id totally do you -You should wear more clothes -How much you gonna pay me to join your only fans -Friend if that shirt didn’t humble you enough I don’t think there’s anything more I can do for you -The shirt should be flattering not flattening -You're the girl that average looking girls take to the bar with them to make them look better. -I hope your dress wasn't meant to accentuate those two mozzie bites on your chest you're trying to pass off as a pair of tits. -I assume a lot of men know what you sound like when you gag. -"When it snows, do your friends ask you to use your face as a snowplough? I'm only kidding. You don't have friends." -I like how you are trying to show cleavage to distract us from those eyes who seem to be going through a divorce -That top is designed for what the kids call people with tiddies. You're not people with tiddies. -"You’re Aussie, go set yourself on fire." -"You may be Dutch, but you ain't much." -AIBrow -"Like that tattoo of the clog. Allows you to find the collapsed vein when you're reupping.  - - -Also, if I put a hairy caterpillar on your upper lip, you can cosplay pre AIDs Freddy Mercury. " -you need cleavage more than 2 be humbled -That dress makes it look like one titty is bigger then the other -Are you mad because CDs aren’t a thing anymore? -"Pena, Warrior Princess." -You look like you could bite a soda can half with that jawline you got there. You have more jaw than the movie jaws. -What do you mean humbled? you you know you don’t look good. It’s evident by the brutal make up work -If you wanted a tattoo as basic as your face and personality then good job 👍 -Top view pictures won't help. -That awful dress hasn’t humbled you enough? -"Buckle up, life only gets worse." -I bet you would make some sweet rugby babies. -"You’re a meth addict. What is your definition of home? Bridge underpass, rundown squats, abandoned cars…." -You look as fun as a boiled potato -We need to get dora in here to get her tits back from swiper -You should have been left Out Back -Angry afternoon stripper. -"Once you hit 40, that jawline is going to be a jawborder." -"Ah yes, the thousand cocks stare." -Australian things I would rather fuck besides you include a kangaroo a platypus and an Aboriginal tribe of saggy-breasted women -Looks as if the stick in het ass got lost -I bet she uses vegemite the same way lonely women in the US use peanut butter. That poor dog. -"Hey Girl Tick. How come a cleavage inducing dress is a cleavage deduction dress on you. -Oh wait, it's just that massive chin shadow playing tricks on us. Fckin Great Australian Eclipe of 2024" -How can you look in the mirror and not be humbled? -"Nothing below your chin gets wet in the rain. -That's probably why your tits never grew." -"You look like a rich man’s bitchy, evil wife….except you don’t have a rich husband." -"When your pokies point that far south in Australia, are they pointing towards the U.S. ?" -At least the lack of cleavage takes the focus off your face -Whoever designed that shirt seems to have put in as much effort as your parents did raising you. -Melbourne? You look like you're from Sydney. -Sloth Sabbith -your mirror humbles you every day. -"If I was a dingo, I wouldn't even eat your baby." -"Proof that Australia is indeed the home of a large amount of specimens…. Not all are worth investigating, yet here we are." -not a roast just genuinely curious how one tit can sit so lower than the other on a 23 year old -If u removed the top right corner of ur shirt u look like big show -"Your eyes don't match, I could tell because your 1000-yard stare will haunt me for days to come." -"You need to be “humbled”? Really? - -You do realize that all those guys that want to fuck you only do because they aren’t looking for a girlfriend, and you look like an easy lay, right?" -You look like an ugly dude -"What is with your fingernails? -Kept banging a hammer on them?" -You are wearing a top which should flatter your body instead it exposes the desert between your nipples -Did you mean 23 ***newly*** F? -I’ve never seen a more forgettable face. -Waiting for the dong reveal -"You need some uplifting, saggy." -I never thought an a cup could reach a belly button -Melbourne? More like Male born. -"What's wider, the grand canyon or the space between those flapjacks on your chest?" -You look like Bruce Jenner if he did meth and lived in Australia. -The wall would like their tits back -"Your doppelganger is a 33M in a skateboard crew. His name is Stuart, but he tells the kids to call him Bobby." -You got a face like a man -You’ve got a Jodie Arias vibe about you -"Congratulations on your transition, It seems to be coming along well. -Don't worry, your chest will grow with time." -Saggy tits at 23? Future is lookin real bright 🤣🤣🤣 -Holy. Giant. Head -"Even your dog wants you to move out. That's why he's taking a shit in your bed, but you don't seem to get the message that it's time for you to leave." -Lord Farquaad sign the eviction order -She thinks she's a meth addict because she loves sucking pipe? Wrong again. -So god just be making Mii’s up there now?? -"the cluttered bedroom and the stack of cd’s tipped me off, but that goodwill-sheikh outfit is why I’m convinced we’re dealing with a recovering hoarder." -Why wear a shirt that shows off cleavage and you have no tits -You look like you’d be 34 and still live with your parents. Even when you do move out you choose to stay in a one room apartment in a place like New York. You’d be the local landlord’s worst nightmare with how much you’d spend your money that you borrowed from your alcoholic friends to buy illegal drugs for your newborn kids. -You look like snooker player Nigel Bond but he's constipated -Username checks out -I had no idea semen was caustic enough to burn a hole in a dress.  Have your Johns hydrate more. -Ironic rule for dating you: must be independent. But the problem is that his rule for dating him: must be a woman. Or at least look like one. -You already roasted yourself with that username. But I’m pretty sure most people could know you’re a meth addict without guessing. -"Wait, you're a grown person and live at home and you're NOT already humbled??? What do you have to be proud of, tricking your parents into supporting your crap-tastic fshion sense?" -You look like you spend your downtime looking in a mirror practicing yelling at the batista who got your order wrong. -Do you have a desire to crush Timothee Chalamet between your thighs? -"Whatever you say or do, you can't escape the reality that you come from fucking *Melbourne*, Australia's number two hole." -still live at home? Well where else do you want to live? Do you want to be home-less or something? -u look like stan from american dad in hes 1 year transitioning to a woman -Freddie Mercury is that you -You have 1 tit lower than the other.....I bet you don't wipe properly after shitting.... -OP: wait no… plz stop -"Get rid of your goddamn CDs, you know you're not touching them anymore." -I always wondered what Mark Cuban would look like as a chick -"Spoiler alert, she’s a spy from the House Va’ruun! Performance video settings only." -Got a huge ass titty window on that dress but no titties - this isn't even a roast but that is not a flattering outfit sis -"You look smart enough to let Bart Simpson trick you into staring at your toilet for hours to see if the water flushes counterclockwise. - -You’re also 23, so you likely don’t get this reference." -By home u mean of the emotionally unstable😂😂!! -Username checks out -Pretty sure your the chick that’s just hot enough to go out with long enough to bang a few times but crazy enough to ghost -I’ve seen sheets of ice with more curves than that chest. -If Reese witherspoon and Jay Leno had a child. -"You don't need to use a bra. If u use a bra, then, there will be disrespect for the bra." -"Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone." -"you're lucky, no algorithm would blur your tits if you posted topless picture of yourself." -The dog peed on your bed while you took a picture of your messy room. -"I don't have the heart to do that, looks like the mastectomy did enough already." -You can tell by the second picture she's part of onlyfans. Ready for the money shot. -Even your dog doesn’t want to be in pictures with you -Was gonna stare down your cleavage in the second picture... if there was any. -Face looks like glam filter maxverstappen -"You looked like you are trying to suck a thick, Preparation H milkshake through a coffee straw." -"Your outfit says ""The Flintstones"" but your face says ""Johnny Bravo""" -You look like you seriously need some vitamin D -You look like you’d invite a person home and go all Dalmer on that person -You're painfully mid at best. -yuv a rully big teer in yer driss -Your face looks like Thomas the tank engine. -"I usually come up with some pretty good zingers, something I can latch on to to exploit, but I'm getting nothing. - -You're just so average, so nondescript, so... nothing." -Yo eyes uneven as hell ol 🤪 lookin ass -"I'm not sure why anyone would want to roast you? You look so happy and approachable.... - -PS: You're dog is taking a shit on your bed." -You NEED 2 go to the gym. Jesus. Your arms are like sausages. -I’m not sure if they are breast or hip bones?! You are in serious trouble when you hit 35. -the only reason you dress up while you’re at home is because you’re insecure about how you will look to the internet. -The smiley face on your sign has more cleavage -Body and face says missionary only. -Need to be humbled? How about get a job you mooch. -"Without that bra, them titties is nuts" -Cant afford to move out and pay for the transition at the same time im assuming? -"Your tearing dress is like ""Eww get me off this thing 🤮""" -When you’re jaw Is ahead of you in life because it’s in the next post code and you sent your tits via Australia post because they’ve been lost for years -Resting Bitch Face. -You look like you’re Co-main eventing UFC 302 against Sean Strickland -Getting a blowjob from you would be like painting your dick brown and taunting a beaver. 🦫 -What is your sternum's cup size? -It's okay to let professionals do your tattoos. -Demi Lovato from Wish. -That top doesn’t look good on you. -I don't usually participate in this subreddit but you look like James Spader and Christopher Reeve both got combined into one lady. This isn't really a roast just an observation. -A rat ate your dress -Dost mother know you weareth her drapes? -The only fan in the background is making more money than you. -"You have a clog on your arm - -Lol" -dead ringer for Nadia from big brother. -You give resting bitch face hope -🤫🤫🤫🧏🧏 -You look like you were bourne mel. -Damn Arnold -"Stop wearing your mother's clothes, Philip." -🗿 -Move to Sydney and start living as a guy -Star of Mike Pence's abstinence only version of the Sims. -Username checks out -"Do you run your ceiling fans backwards down there too, do you give counterclockwise hand swirlies left handed? -You want to spend all your money and come to Canada and be trained in cold weather survival training to lose some weight?" -You look like you started testosterone injections during puberty but changed your mind too late to grow breasts -Your face shape looks like quagmires dad mixed with American dad. If I had to give your face shape a name it'd be bob the builder. It looks so fake just like your painted ass eye brows -You look like a chad with smaller breasts -I gotta give some love to the small tittie having girls cuss these balloon having bitches been getting too much attention recently -Your tops on backwards -Looks like you in the need of a stronger dosage of hormone pills -"Face of a 40 year old, tits of a 12 year old." -It'd take 3 guys all positioned at different angles to even attempted to titty fuck those gargoyles that seem to have a restraining order against eachother. -OP how are you doing? -Are your tits lopsided or do you just suck at shirts? -"Admit it, you suck BBC, second photo confirms it" -I love the way that your mastectomy tribute dress is trying desperately - and failing pathetically - to hold in your gut. Sir. -You would be on the last page of PH if you typed in ugly. -Cd collection and pictures on the wall 2 big factor for mentally unstable -You look like you’re bad at prostitution -"Welp, if Jay Leno gets chin cancer, I know where he'll go looking for a donor." -op put make up on for this lol smh -No Simp on the Barbie for you mate. -You're 23 and you have a CD collection? Huh? -Built like a church bell -Smile!!!! -How is it possible to have saggin small tits? Down under to the core huh -If an unenthusiastic handjob had a face. -You look like my ex-wife but 30lbs heavier and a bitchier face -It's like lumpy mashed potatoes put on a girl's clothes. -you look like if john travolta was a gen z trans -Jawline stronger than any man who dared approach you -You look like you struggle to finish hotpot freak 👍 -You look like you call the manager at every restaurant you go. You also complain about portion sizes. -I’ve seen men with more feminine faces -Micheal Jackson looking bitch ass -gd your chest is so small that it envelopes into your stomach -You’re more manly than your father -Your face is like concentrated in the middle of your head idk how to describe it -"Not very bright. Everyone lives “ at home “ -If you move you move your at home to new home. You still live at home. Unless you’re a turtle! Then you live in a mobile home." -Well not good enough for OF!!! Maybe a try Farmers only!!! -"Look like a woman pat Mcgoldrick would go for, YIKES!!!!" -Pat Mcgoldrick would like to be fisted -Looks like the trash bag ripped again. Gotta buy a better brand. -I can't imagine that someone looking like that needs to be humbled anymore than life has already -Nice puss gut bro -"Ain’t nothing there a push up bra and 2-3 rolls of toilet paper can’t fix.. -Ah from the Land Down Under, shame you’ll never be down under anyone." -Proof that everything in Australia is poisonous -Picasso's tits meets Quagmire's jawline -Get off Reddit and get a job do *something* -That face screams Queen Vic Markets fishmonger. -Jaws 6 looks shit -Is that her boyfriend in the background??? -That’s a handsome woman -We all live at home. That's what home is. -Your face stopped growing but your head didn't. -"If Michelangelo's David and Pieta had a daughter together, you would be it." -"You look like a strong woman with a mind of her own, your tits look like they also have a mind of their own as well, one goes this way one the other way" -Or fried egg tits -If Stallone made Rocky a disabled transvestite -You’d fuck ethan bateman -"This is how you become a single mom. -Ask to be humbled and a 12"" penis shows up to humble you." -The only thing more lopsided than that stack of cds behind you is your eyes. -Can I draw you? -Loving the transition my dude! -You made sure to take the 2nd picture from above the cleavage to make sure we get that there is nothing there. -Why would you need to be humbled? You're mid asf. -Why do I get the sense you took that first picture shortly after disposing of your date’s body in a wood chipper? -"You look like the ""Billy"" character from the movie Predator." -I thought crows leave the nest after they get feathers… -Your face looks like the Mona Lisa… if she was stoned -23m* -You have nice eye brows. -Congrats on your transition. -No amount of contour can fix that nosejob -you look handsome bro. not sure how i feel about the make up and wig though. -"Someone searched for ""sexy dress"" on Temu..." -You look like the homeless Batman -5/10 -It's either live at home or with your boyfriend out the front of McDonalds on Elizabeth St near Flinders St Station. -Even if you switch to porn you wont reach the top 10. -You try to look tough on the outside by your posture and facial expressions but you’re gluten free on the inside with a spine made of lexapro -what is there to brag about? Your stomach is bigger then your tits.. -"Let me guess, kangaroo punched your left tit?" -You have created a new gender congrats -You don't need a bra brother -You look like a washed up Bryce hall with a wig on. -You have resting Aussie face. -I'd say nice bitch face but that'd be an insult to female dogs -Only you could have a cleavage window and still have nothing to see. -ITS MA’AM!!! -"Second pic: tinder - -First pic: reality" -I see a muffin top in the making. Bout to be a muffin the size of 300 lbs pumpkin -You’ve got the same muscle tone as an average Reddit Mod -"Your tits are so flat that if you were asked to go ""down under"" you would need to play rock-paper-sissors just to see who would receive and who would give. - -I hope that came out right. Sounded better in my head. -Trying to make it sound as we can't decide if she was a girl or a guy because of the flat chest." -You heard the dude. He needs to be humbled! -Clearly gets split roasted regularly -I can’t tell if you’re transitioning or have transitioned. -Methaddict3000 needs to be humbled. Clearly hit that pipe before having that though -Are you crossdressing? I legit thought this was a dude -dang it i thought u were jenn melon -The shape of your face weird. -Is your dog shitting on the bed behind you? -🗿 -"Still live at home? Then where you are supposed to live, a trash can?" -Female hormone therapy can only achieve so much. -You strike me as someone who cries when a dog dies in a movie yet celebrates with hello kitty merch after an abortion. -"Take off the wig bro, you’re not fooling anyone." -Isn't looking in the mirror every morning humbling enough? -'She' looks like she's about to whip out a 9 incher -Goddam i thought u were in your 40s -Atleast your upper lip was able to move out. -Your belly is bigger than your tits. -"I’m confused. Bunch of cds and cassette tapes, gen z tats, but you look like you are 48 and divorced" -yoUR HEAd -Just pop it out honey. -Wow! Somebody found Caitlyn Jenner's early transformation pictures. -"Wow, I've never seen somewhere where a shirt intended to show a huge amount of cleavage with no cleavage to show. Kudos to you for having the guts to go against the norm." -Have you got lockjaw or just allergic to smiling? -Nose ring on the lazy eye side was an interesting choice -Your face expression clearly indicates that you think you are much more attractive than you actually are -I where wandering what to say either -Your tattoos suggest you spent time in a Dutch prison. -Looks like the type of girl that tucks you in with a frying pan to the face. -Why get a tattoo of a clog when your chin is already the shape of one? -Nice jawline and congratulations on your sex change. I can't tell which way you're going but I can tell you're half way there! -Wow you really do look like your username -Flee market daisy ridley -Your eyes are so magnetizing... By that I mean they seem to be getting pulled together by something. -Tumor Willis -Need 2 learn to spell -That top isn’t meant for men -You give 5 grit sandpaper blowjobs -"Got that handsome Squidward jawline on you, but tbh I'm not bad about it" -Your transition is not going well. -Chin like Buzz Lightyear -You look like you'd have a litter of cats -Hand me another Victoria Bitter I'm still trying to figure out how many this will take. -Your transition to woman is going OK I see -Your so poor that ur shirt came off and everyone laughed at you 💀 -Why you need us to humble you when nature's already done the job? -"Get your homo erectus lookin ass outta here. 23""F"", my ass" -"Let me dust off the Melbourne check list - -1) stupid tattoos *tick* -2) sour face *tick* -3) photo at 'artistic' angles *tick* -4) inflated ego with underlying depression *tick* - - -Enjoy your Macadamia milk single origin latte and I'll see you in 20 years when you move to Queensland to escape your current hell home." -Can't tell if the photo is 'pre' or 'post' op. -Shit living at home you could probably afford breast augmentation I suggest you look into it -You look everybody else -"why do you want to be humbled more? you look like an aussie dude i knocked out in a bar once lol, decidedly mid ugly" -Those mad eyebrows make it less likely that anyone will look at those bologna tits. -Shes not a liar…look at those track marks on her arm…jeezussss -RBF: Resting Butch Face -Wimp n womp -"Dude, you need bigger breast implants and maybe tuck your dick a little more securely. I’ve seen male giraffes 🦒 with smaller Adams apples." -Meh -"Come on ilean get em out like ya normally do, who’s doing your vloging -Your lost ya spot to ya little bro -You could always get a gig doings pin the tail on the donkey looks like ya had enough of pin the donkey on the tail ( ps I would do ya milfie)" -You live at home? Cool. -Dad won’t let you leave home cause he likes having little boys around? -Get this guy a Bud Light! -If you pay me a lot I may let you suck my dick -You look pretty good for only just starting hormone therapy -"In case it's the real reason you posted, yes, we can tell." -comment -"I bet you have an Instagram with 600 selfies of the same dead eyed stupid pout expression and a bunch of ""uplifting quotes"" that all sound like they've come from a fortune cookie." -You look like you squirt almond milk -Damn the ring girl cleaned up -“Me bore you long time!” -You got that username from how you smell -I’ll see you at the nail salon later -You look like you have an only fans that you only post clothed pictures on -You look like an autistic Bratz doll. -Damn You look like you spend more time perfecting your selfies than doing anything else -You face a lot of imaginary discrimination -Crustyeyebrows* -i'm certain you're not Asian cause Asians do something with their lives. -How many baby daddies you got -"Good thing you aren’t Asian, I was going to have to change the kind of women I prefer." -"When the host/ess asks you if you have a reservation, you tell them ""Yes, in Arizona.""" -There are better ways to say you are in need of attention -Living proof that your ancestors fucked the blobfish. -Yah ma’am I’m checking out of my room at noon tomorrow can you make sure my bed is made and the toilet is cleaned -Me love you short time. -Reminds me of a Micheal Jackson wantabie... -Don’t even have time to come up with a roast after spending so much time trying to read that 5 year old handwriting -"B flat! Your face b flat, your chest b flat and your but be flat." -"It's not that they forgot you in the hotel room... They just thought it was the more economically viable option... - -It's just business 🤷‍♂️" -The face behind the most popular Saigon glory hole. -You look like you were conceived after an affirmative action inspired gang-bang where all the sperm was allowed to be your Dad. -You look like a late 2000s time capsule -Do the men pay you in casino chips? -You have the most freakishly tiny fingernails I've ever seen. You should feel ashamed. -You look like if AI started doing plastic surgery after downloading data on hate crimes -Your Username ='s what you've got downtown. -You went to r/roastme like I said! -I wonder why she keeps holding that sign in front of her Adam's apple. -"You look like, when anime accidentally came to life and instantly regretted it." -Why do I smell burnt rice ... or is that refried beans? Hell if I can tell the difference. -You look like you spent an hour rolling around on the floor for some reason -You look like a wannabe Jaiden animations -"Itt people that think native Americans are Asian. Jfc.  - - - - -No roast, just a suggestion,  put a bra on before they reach the floor " -"Ladyboy ""five dollah suckie suckie"" vibe" -Your eyebrows peaked at 18. -SmellaPoarch -So that’s where Michael Jackson’s nose went -Please give the poor man his shirt back -"You like you shower with your hands, dirty ass" -She's a Michael Jackson Bratz doll -about to start a streaming career -You look like that crazy quiet bich from The Boys -Thanks for taking time away from popping zits on YouTube to do this. -You make a breadstick look interesting by comparison. -Where are your cheeks? Want a burger? -Why your eyes look like you trying to see in front and behind yourself at the same time 😆 -You look like you hang out with liberal whites who gawk and awe at your knowledge of fry bread and back straps. -Malnourished Cinna looking azz -No baby I wouldn't roast you I'd eat you raw -Why would I roast a baddie? -The sum total of you will be a footnote in some man’s story about a random girl whose tiny hands made his medium penis look gargantuan for one drunk evening -The only connection you still have to your native ancestors are the diseases from white men. -Just wanted to make things clear im half native american/ half white. Have a go at it! Happy oct 14. 😅 -I bet your mean to men -I won’t give a self loathing Radiohead fan the satisfaction of a roast you won’t deserve or appreciate. Go be sad somewhere else. -enjoy the youth. it goes by so quickly -Lucy Ewwww -"You obviously know you’re good looking but you post on r/Roastme because you want others to validate your good looks that you already know you have. - -Am I close?" -Eat some of that excess makeup so you have a chance at being beautiful on the inside. -Skeletor -I think I have a shoot💀 -So malnourished you make African kids look like suburban American families. -You should apply to be a fly in the next ants movie -This hand is souch a eyecatcher and I can't unsee it😂 -if you work hard you could headline any afternoon/weekday show at any medium rent strip club in most backwater Midwestern cities. -"How many guys were you the "" first time"" for. They call you carnival for all the ""rides"" you've given." -You look like your dad went out for a pack of smokes and a gallon of milk. He ever get back yet? -The cops have come to your house at least 6 times this year to check out reports of gun fire and to tell you to turn down the music after 2am. -Bitch you got your answers on am I ugly already -Hide your dogs Krusty Krewella on the loose -Weird piss bird bones. -"For the last time, no you can’t marry me for my green card" -You have no light thumb. -Amy NoHouse -I hope you’re happy you broke up the Beatles with your goat voice -"Asparagus are green, you're yellow 💛." -I thought you were 30? Like I’m genuinely serious lol -"You look like you would be the best pick at the Asian massage parlor for a hand job and then a blow job, I would like to schedule your services for next Wednesday please, your welcome" -Michael Jackson impersonator! hehe -"If you're sex Trafficking slave, give us the universal sign of distres." -stop taking selfies and start taking responsibility for ur life -Its Ali Wrong. -Why can I see straight up your nostrils at this angle -"If you’re here, who’s wiping down the massage tables at the “rub and tug”." -"If you’re here, who’s wiping down the massage tables at the “rub and tug”." -Your head is shaped like a football -I thought I roasted you already but apparently that was a different generic Asian girl. -Ugh...Nothing to roast.... bet you have metal health issues! -Olivia Wen-digo -You look like if Cinna didn't make it -The only thing showing more desperation than your eyes is that rats nest of hair -You're very exotic looking -"Got your nails done by a toddler? - -Also, crusty asparagus or crusty aspergers?" -LaToyota Jackson -Always bring your colourful personality to parties.. you’d make a good clown -Is 21 the new 40? -Are you doing this cause you’re board while waiting for roadside assistance to come change the broken wheel on your wagon that cracked heading back to the teepee? -You could be hot if you put in some effort -The before and after picture of a meth addiction add -More like Alt+F4 -I've heard of thousand cock stare but never thousand dick lips -"Damn, that's some fry bread face." -Nope -"You look you would start an OF Account to find a husband, but it wouldn’t work." -"Guys, we’ve got a unicorn here. The only asian lady who looks way older than her age…." -You look like the kind of girl that would flash teenagers only for them to then roast you. -You look like someone who crushes laundry day -You look like you got the botox sucked outa your face. -gotta be truthful- you’re gorgeous -"Men call being inside you “the trail of tears”. - -(See ref to ethnicity below) - -You look like your relationship status is “child bride”. - -I’ve seen abandoned motels that look less vacant." -posts like this is the reason your dad left -Asian women look younger than their age. You're the exception that proves the rule. 21 going on 210 -Hmmm -Your hand looks like it has Covid. -"Yeah you could say you're ""F21"". Thanks to technology and AI. Those de-aging filters work wonders." -"However much you paid for your nose job was too much, looking a straight who outta whoville. This is what happens when Dr Seuss' kids go into plastic surgery I guess." -21 ya right more like eleventeen -Bet your bumhole gapes well :) -"The only posts you have ever made are pictures of yourself and there are like 30 of them. - -You are like the human embodiment of “Please look at me. I have low self esteem and seek everyone’s attention from vanity, because I know I have no personality.”." -Yukko OhNo -You would be described as “at risk” -I’ll take the crusty asparagus with a side of happy ending please 🙏 -You look like you would give someone a gift and then ask for it back -"I cant roast you, id just do you" -Even the medicine woman couldn’t fix you. -You look like a brakes dancing in koala -Long chin dragon have an ass -"Waffle, head spider looking ass" -"Hey, my name is Freddy looking ass" -You like you touch cats -"Bro, you look like you do one dollar only fans" -Usually when people want to get roasted they show their face not their ass. -Do you look like you go UWU every time you get Starbucks -I love chipotle looking ass -If you have nothing good to say. Roast somebody. -21? If you were 21 you should look like you’re 14. My money’s on 41 at least. -Did you have the operation yet? -You even managed to fail at being Asian. Good job. -Smells like $5.99 a month -Yoko Uno -Link in bio -The “It’s just a phase stereotype” -What's in your warret -Women automatically think you're a bitch. Your girlfriends know you are. -Your hands have obviously been shaped by multiple attempts to fist your own asshole. Those poor cards you're holding can't figure out what's going on. -Is that nose pushing your eyes further apart? You look like you drew a nose on a 2X4 and hung it on your face. -"You look like a riced out honda Civic with a low budget, but the human version" -I swear I got a massage from you once -Pic 2 with the sunken cheeks looks like a Korean meth addict. -Hey American sailor! -"Your hands are too square, it’s a bit uncanny valley…." -Me so horny! -"You look like my future wife. - -Yes, that's a roast, sadly." -Not bad for a Ladyboy -"When her ancestors came across the Bering Strait, it turned Bering Gay." -"Name translates to ""Dances with... Anyone""" -How much do I have to pay for no happy ending? -Smash -"Don't you get enough attention on OnlyFans?^(1) - -^(1)*This is a roast, I didn't actually check because I don't care.*" -You look like you would make a corn bot on youtube -"No Jenny, I don't care about your fucking crystals, just take off you pants and shut up." -4 generations of her family curse you -Your parents never told you they loved you because you didn’t become a doctor. -"If self-awareness was a hairstyle, yours would still be messy" -U look like one of em Chinese people who were rescued after a bomb was dropped in ur village -Pretty -You look like your main personality trait is trying not to care what others think while desperately seeking the attention/approval of internet randos -Chihuahua yapping at your ankles energy.  -Ariana Grande wants her d!ck back… -"You have the same problem with your eyes as Halle Bailey. - -ROASTTTEDD" -How many times have you died on the boys? -I'd roast ya but just by looking at you it looks like we got your grandparents good -I think you're really pretty 🤷‍♀️🥰 -She looks gorgeous damn. Can’t roast -Tha duck face confirmed you are below 25. -"You're a Twink, but only because so many white men have cum in side of you." -"This isn’t going to make your abusive, alcoholic father want to touch you again." -“Me sucky dick make noodle liimp like overcooked Ramen.” -"Normally, people post multiple angles. With you? I'm afraid to see what the side profile looks like. - -Prolly look like Plank from Ed Edd & Eddy 😂" -"You look like the kind of chick that guys should be putting up a dream catcher up so that a nightmare like you doesn't get through. - -If I were you, I would try and manifest myself to be asian because being half lazy and half white trash emo kid ain't no way to go through life." -You pocahauntus with your cringe selfie. -I bet her nude vids block out her asshole -You hate snow cuz it’s white & settles on your land … -Ugly and boring. Half an egg roll short of Asian barbie budget edition. -I bet a facial for you becomes a drowning risk due to the bull nostrils you have equipped. -Large eyes don’t make up for small titties -"Half white, half Asian, all boring." -I'm sorry when you went to celebrity nose transplant dot com nobody told you it was going to be Michael Jackson's -How much roasting can I give for $15? -With 12 previous r/selfie submissions I suppose ANY attention is good enough right? -"Well, it looks like the cedar root your mother used didn't work at all, and her next attempt was to jump of a ladder that would explain what happened to your face." -what do you look like when you're not drinking -21 with a phone older than her. What shitty quality photos. -"Fix your eyebrows - -Also I’m glad you told us your age , otherwise I would’ve assumed you were 40!" -You rook rike you berong in a fast and furious movie -“Me do sucky sucky for money” -That's not the only thing that's crusty... -You're cute -You look like you smell like your username. -This is what 21 years of regret looks like. -"I wourd ruv you rong time, if you ret me." -Your grandmother is the reason why penicillin was in short supply -Quit the stupid lip pursing and smile so we can see your teeth -Your username is your only lover -"Your father never came home after ""going to get smokes"" so you get the internet to give you attention whether it's good or bad. At least we care enough to interact with you. Which is more than you can say about anyone really in your life." -"You can have any overweight, stinky weeb you want." -Not sure who is lying to you but you definitely look part Asian (tbf wasians are 🔥) -"She goes around asking everyone... ""you got girl friend (insert name of city)... well baby me soo horny.""" -You’re super pretty. I like how you do your eyes! Nice picture! -You like a person whose color choices are only black and white just like their choice in ppl -Wow you're gorgeous!! -dollar store Lucy Liu(ser) -"You like like your boyfriend is one of those ""soft boys"" with a mullet and a mustache" -I think your name being crusty asparagus is a little ironic -" -Me love you long long time! Which trade did your family make you do since you were 6yrs old, nails or massages?" -Your pussy tastes like gas station sushi. -You look like you provide happy endings. -You offer happy endings. -Since you are native and not Asian you are doomed to a life working at the casino dealing cards to drunk Asians while getting beat at home by your drunken partner -@? -You're the model that thrift stores use on ads to discourage shoplifting. -Good practice girl…if you like asians -You look like you took those pics thinking no one would have anything to say. -"Q: What’s the first thing crustyasparagus said after she lost her virginity? -A: Get the fuck off me dad you’re squishing my smokes!" -"You might’ve fooled everyone else, but I know you got that shirt from a shitty AI generated scammy looking instagram ad" -Perfect -Hopfully this mail order come with a return to sender -"Whoever said ""autistic Bratz doll"" for second Pic wins it for me, I'm out... ( I'm sure she do squirt almond milk btw 🤣🤣 - ( the same outdated And overpriced shit you'll find at her mom n dad's corner store" -Yoko Ohnope -"Definitely the kinda girl that goes round a party giving head for a ""bump""" -"It would be great if you put even a fraction of the amount of time and effort into doing anything productive as you do taking and retaking selfies, just for them to be mid at best." -"Are you trying to prove that you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? - -You can certainly suck the life out of others." -"I can fix her - - -Oh, wait. No, I can't. " -You look like you’re from the wrong Korea -"Nope sorry, I'm not interested in giving attention seekers attention." -You look like 32yo -What kind of face looks like half cut avocado? -you look you do lego porn -You are that T-Shirt: How to tell someone is toxic even though they claim not to be toxic. Gaslighting is an inherited profession -Weren’t you trying to scam me earlier? -"You’re telling me this isn’t ""Cinna"" the streamer???" -Build ask you to lay on then floor when they want to measure flatness -cute! -Ladyboi -21? Ha ha yeah right. Next you’ll be telling us that people find you really interesting on a date -"You got the looks sure, even if you look 10 years older, but you look boring as hell to hang with." -Holy pick me Batman. “I’m cute but I want someone to tell me otherwise” roast ass -Expression blanker than a fresh sheet of A4. -Bet you have a crusty pu$$y also -I thought ET went home -"Accurate as it may be, “Crusty Asparagus” is a gross way to describe your vagina." -"If you need to seek attention at 21, I predict you’ll be here again at 31, if not sooner." -Bruce Lee incarnation in a weird way. -"Deer eyes, can't." -Don't rost her because I like her -Look like you bout to review a parking lot -Your new nickname is Bambii -Do you think about the test you have the next day when you are having sex the night before? -Professional victim -"Photo #2- Well practiced ""Suck Lips"" Pose." -Bland as white bread. -"A requirement to post here should be no filters, cause this is a black dude." -Pokimane little stepsister -You must be a Chiefs middle daughter. -I didn't know that these sex dolls also come with variable facial expressions as well -Temu Michelle Branch. -Is that second one a Peking duck face? -"Hi, Is it possible to get to know each other? 😄" -"You look like one of those girls that goes on Roastme, and then gets mad about certain roasts because they weren’t the kinds of roasts you wanted." -Get back to work. We need another season of ‘the Boys’. -the one who buys the most expensive mobile phone just for taking selfies -Honey bee looking head ass -"Claudia Kishi, is that you?" -You are very pretty. How much? -You look like when you kiss your cheeks and your face try to find an opportunity to escape from you. -You roasted yourself with that f*ckface duckface -Peking duck face -"You look like washing washi's secret daughter ""can't wash this off my family tree"" washi ." -"You could play that kid's game where everyone put two fingers under a person and lifts them up. Except this version is called ""Light as a feather, flat as a board""." -The duck called... he want his beak back -"I've seen the asparagus sex toy, you must have added the crusty to it" -Vegan teacher on her 20s -"Let's make a baby, you and I" -This is the chick that “accidentally” sent me her photos to confirm I was indeed her friend that was helping with her photoshoot. -Generic Asian looking girl looking for white male. -"Those are the same photos, what r u scared to show off more?" -I'll have a number 46 with chicken. -Pocahontas has fallen on tough times. -wtf are you -"Pic 1: 21, pic 2: 50" -I can't... -You're gonna make a 75 yo man really happy one day -Id rather rail than roast -You look like something I catch on the end of my fishing line -Michael Jackson called. He wants you to stop imitating his iconic look. -"When guys that consider ranch ""spicy"" say they're into Asian girls, this is what they mean." -"Cant tell if ladyboy or liu kang from mortal kombat -Movie." -Thought I saw her face on an ad in PornHub for AI generated sex partner or something -"Walmart value Jenna Ortega, Generic Ortega" -Tell your plastic surgeon it’s time to retire. His heart’s clearly not in his work. -Hey look! Mulan grew up and became a ho! -"You have bofriend? -Of course you don’t." -I think you have forgotten how to have a normal expression. First one looks like you're being held hostage. The second one would make your ancestors facepalm in embarrassment. -Mitski thinks you suck...the end -$5 Joe -U make egg roll ???? -Ms. chow 40 dolla boom boom sucky sucky -"Well the good news is this. If you don't like the roasts you can always delete the paper youre holding and have it be a generic 'escort' massage profile. I mean youre one in a billion to do anyting you want. I hope this story has a happy ending for you, best of luck." -At least you're not duckfacing it like you do on your OF. -You have a penis for a nose -You look like your dad forces you to do OnlyFans -Yoko Oh No... -Nope. I go to your ppl for bootleg dvds. I know what's gonna happen to these jokes -You'd actually be really pretty if you looked like anyone else -Not as good looking as you think -Temu Bella Porch. -Whoouuud eye -You look like the lady out of my Chinese chip shop serving up the Dr. Pimple food -Peking duck face -I wasn't aware that Mark Dacascos had transitioned. -The best thing about you pics is that we don’t have to listen to your singing. The worst part about your pics is we still have to look at your face. -Putting the hoe in Navaho -Your pussy looks like a California roll -You steal hoodies and think it’s cute -The everlasting cat butt hole pose -You look exactly like this sup from The Boys! I think the name was Cumiko or something -You look like a model for a perfume named “desperation” -Is there vacuum cleaner somewhere on this 2nd photo or what? -"Look, a Californian." -"High, high cheekbones. Bye-bye personality" -You look like you brush your hair with an egg beater. -Nice -why did 'spooky scary skeletons' start playing in my head? -I loved you in The Boys. -She looks like turtle water smells. -"$10 says your Instagram says ""influencer,"" but you wish you could influence more than 200 followers." -You look how doctors write - What are doing on a break? Back to work! Make more IPhone! -T rex arms -"Chihuahua face, I think it's the eyes." -"Oh look, Liu Kang from Mortal Combat finally transitioned" -I thought girls were supposed to have good handwriting -"Nothing to see here y’all, same lame ass cookie cutter chick wanting attention" -"That space between the eyes 👀. I’ll take the happy ending, please!" -Ladyboy -How you doin? -"She has a “live, laugh, love” tattoo above her vagina." -La Toya Jackson wannabe -"Idk you’re really cute dude, no roast necessary." -Again fine asf -Call me. I will love you long time -I cannot because I find you absolutely gorgeous and incredibly sexy -P.U.🤢 -"After looking at your profile for two seconds I can tell you leave every ""asparagus"" crusty" -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->6'6"" journeyman with his shorter apprentice - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -2 failed attempts at making the same character design -It’s like Mario before and after the mushroom -If you order Penn and Teller from Temu. -“James and the Giant Bitch” by Roald Dahl -"Why does the larger, more experienced journeyman simply not eat the smaller apprentice" -Are your names Neil and Bob? Or is that what you do? -Mario and Luigi live action movie coming in 2025 -"It's like the movie Twins, except you both got shitty genes." -"If I stuck your multimeter leads across the two of you, It’d read zero, because you both have absolutely no fucking potential." -Something tells me the guy on the right really likes to pet rabbits and probably hugs too hard -You put the ewww in ibew. -"Coming this Fall on the Leftovers Channel, starring a couple of assholes: The Tedious Existence of Lump & Stump." -Do you guys get new helmets for work or do you just rock the same ones your parents got you to wear for your day to day lives? -Always cute when sons dress like their dads -Fatman and bobbin' -Ah ye are like 2 parts of a fat fucker nesting doll collection -"Together you are superheroes called ""The Unfuckables""." -"dad joke time, hold on: - -How do short people greet others? - -They microwave." -The only guys in porno that she actually just wants to fix the washing machine -Don’t talk to me or my son again -"""You're on the Brute Squad? You ARE the Brute Squad""" -Gay porn isn’t union labor -Tell him about the rabbits again... -That’s a lot of semen stains you scribbled out. -Little *and* big red riding hood -Can you tell us who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon -"At 6'6"" why even wear a hard hat? The only thing threatening your head is birds and local air traffic. Tell your apprentice he's not measuring up to your expectations." -Wtf is this? Gandalf and Frodo make a porno? -You look like two evil henchmen from a Pixar film -They'll hire anyone at the Lolliop Guild these days -The village people only had one construction worker. -Wormiest lookin shop rocket lookin scab ass rat bastards. Picket line crossin red wigglin’ slime bags -It’s not legal to keep dwarfs as slaves anymore and call them “apprentices”… it’s 2024 man! -did dude on the left break off of dude on the right? -Always nice to have a coworker that can give you head while you’re both standing up. Something tells me this apprentice will be your apprentice for a LONG time. -Hi vis and low vis -He journeys a long way for men. -Master Blaster really has lost his way after mad max: thunderdome -Attack on Titan 2 -"Ya look like Big Chuck and Little John, didn't know sign flippers needed an apprenticeship but that's where we're at in this world, pretty much just 2 fat guys teaching other how to never get laid, because no work is gettin done on that crew." -"I can’t tell if the guy on the left just crapped himself,is high,just got jerked off,or got kicked in the face" -I just know that the guy on the left squeaks when you pick him up. -Tweetle D and Tweetle Cum -"Well, I know which one is the little spoon." -Looks like one of you have grown into the role. -Like a pair of the ugliest garden gnomes! -Big enos and little enos -Are all the red bits on the photo covered up sex toys you use on each other? -Big Mike and little Mike. No matter what apprentices name is I’m sure now it’s just little added to whatever the big guy is actually named. 😂 -"Buddy on the left got a hard hat sticker for every load of cum he swallowed. Looks like it's got a mouth full now. - -Andre the giant on the right looks like he stuffs his apprentice up his ass like Richard Gere did to that gerbil." -The one on the right is before jumping into a cold pool -"It’s like that movie , TWINS , but in this case they were both all the shit left over" -So this story is basically Brokeback Mountain with ugly people who work underground? -How long have you guys been dating -Thats the weirdest butt plug I’ve ever seen. -Aww look at you two holding that card together so cute. Can't decide who's gonna be bottom huh? -You both need to shave. Even combined your face pubes wouldn't make 75% of a decent beard. -Master Blaster runs warehouse…. -Oompah loompah and Willy Wonka -"So how many divorces, dui, and domestic assault you guys have under your belt? Can't be a true electrician without it." -Why are you wearing each other's vests? -He’ll never be half the man that his teacher is. -Special needs crossing guards -"You 2 are the hick version of a babushka doll, the smaller one goes inside you" -I’m just wondering where you got that giant lanyard? -o0 -"Fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a journeyman" -I'm not gonna roast a couple hard working guys. yall go ahead. -It's like if the movie twins was about people who dropped out of community college. -Ibew yet no lights on in either home -Oh boy. -If mario and Luigi were sparkies -"It’s like a weight loss commercial, before and waaaaay before" -A before and after you finally listen to your mom and eat broccoli with every meal -Willy Wanker and his Oompa Loompa -Time and a half -Sloth loves chunk -"Does the little one go inside the big one, like a kachina doll? - -If this what doctors mean when they says one twin eats the other en eutero? - -The city hired one fat ass, and it was 2 for 1 day? - -First day on the job, big boy doesn't get it. They tell him, you're a little slow, huh? Next day, he brings in his baby brother, Little Slow." -Where did you get the Mini Me? I want one. -Definitely some Brokeback Mountain stuff going on there -♫ Maybe Vader someday later now he's just a small fry ♫ -"You both look like you share 3-in-1 body soap, shampoo, and conditioner." -The “Twins” remake nobody asked for. -They're building a death star and when it gets completed they get shot into space -This is krang and the bodysuit from tmnt -Pinkey and the brain -Mario before and after shrooms. -El beavis et butthead -I wonder if they actually fix the plumbing at the end of this porn… -Looks like someone has only completed half of their journey. They’ll need to obtain more xp to level up. -“Not many people know that Penn and Teller actually met while working the same construction job.” -Damn ugly padawan -This just looks like a long distance relationship. -You look like you spoon with Milwaukee tools -You look like the winner and runner up for the smelliest beard competition at the construction site -Yo is this bob the builder irl? -Shirt guys the bottom. Yes? Takes the more female role in your relationship dynamic. -"One of you thinks the other one can’t do his job for shit. - -And, you’re both right." -Laurel and Hardy from Wish -Be careful what you say. These Reddit mods can’t take a joke lol -I forgot they added a random button in the character maker of rdr2 -It's like Big and Little Enos construction version. -It's called a broom you lazy fuck -It's called a broom you lazy fuck -Bert & Ernie -If Gabriel Iglesias started as both parts in a remake of Twins. -Penn and Teller make your construction issues disappear  -Apprentice looks like he practices partial arts instead of martial arts. Clearly his partial art of choice is midjitsu -Good to see the book “Freak the mighty” getting a good live action movie coming soon. -That guy from the Village People looking ragged. And his midget lover is really disturbing. . -Short guy is tall guy’s buttplug. -“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again” -"It’s like Twins, but you both got the bad genes" -"Similar to the 1988 movie Twins: ""Most of the crap went into Julius. All the crap that was leftover is what you see in the mirror every morning.""" -One and a half stooges -Doink and Dink -Look like you both use Kobalt side cutters and sweep when you’re done -Journey-Man and Journey-Boy -I hate when this porno poops up my feed -Yall remind me of the beginning and end of the human centipede in 'The Human Centipede' -Big Enus and Little Enus become stationary engineers. -There’s red herpes spots all over you guys! Do your work and stop banging each other. Poor little guy. -The big guy looks like an upscaled version of the little guy except the hair didn’t upscale. -The before and after commercial for Viagra -De plane! De plane! -"If you were father and son, it’d be fascinating to see what your mother/wife would look like. Something horrific I’d imagine." -Take your kid to work day? -Where’d you get your apprentice from? The Shire? -This looks like the first attempt from the movie Twins where a drop of motor oil spilled into the sperm shake. -I shall call him Mini Me. -De plane! De plane! -OOmpa loompa and Willie -Arnold and Danny have let themselves go. -When you 3D print yourself but run out of materials halfway through. -That’s flea market remake of Dumb and Dumber -"Wow, apprentice? I didn’t realize being a bottom took so much training." -Real life Mario and Luigi -James and the beardless giant -Laurel and Hearty. -"Modern day, of mice and men." -Dang David and Goliath went downhill -Shane Gillis and Uncle Danny? -Dude looks like Shane Gillis if Shane Gillis stayed cancelled. -I bet the little fella is a top -Y'all look like a before & after pic for human growth hormone. -Forbidden love between two fugly utility workers unfolds in Brokeback Mountain 2. -Who run Bartertown? -Mutt & Jeff ? -Only journey this man takes is to the buffet and back -Lenny and squeaky -Cletus Schwarzenegger and Daryl DeVito -This remake of “Twins” looks meh -I know you guys. Local 132? International brotherhood of Pecker washers? -"Looks like that 90s movie Twins, but with Danny Devito playing both roles." -Hakuna matata -Who's the bottom? -"This picture just makes me remember the image of the hamster eating a banana, ifykyk lol" -"Damn, I wish i had a mini me" -The shorter one looks like he could be stored inside of the bigger one. -Leprechaun and the giant -Don’t think the copy/ paste formatted correctly -big chungus vs bugs bunny -FUCKING APPRENTICE -Cha-cha-cha- chia -Master Blaster...just add the harness to the big ogres back and you're all set -You guys look like parts of a Russian nesting doll. -Dude on the rights legs look like their built for a body that's half the size and shaped like a triangle. I bet you walk like you got a stick up your ass. And the dude on the lefts got a girthy cameo toe goin on. -"Y'all touch weiners tip to tip when you pee, right?" -Why would I waist my breath by roasting 2 guys that will most likely get no woman to satisfy them ?? -Weren't you 2 Idiots here a week ago? -The movie Twins but nobody got the good genes. -Aw shit they are the electric master -Twins??? -Luigi & Mario -Jose and HoseB -"Just say ""don't get short with me frodo"" every time he gives ya shit my angry sky scraper." -What are you teaching him? How to grow a neck beard? -"As he progresses through his ranks, does he taller? - -If not, then how many pipes did you get stuck in to become so tall? You look like my answer would be once daily." -"I just want to pet rabbits george... I know lenny, I know.." -I think my Russian tea dolls are missing a chromosome -so you got a mini me? -Of mice and men... -Hi Mom and Dad! -Well at least you're not machinists then one would be standing behind the other lol -You don’t even have to kneel down to suck him off -Looks like an Oompa Loompa was turned into a giant by Wonka’s TV transporter device. -Y’all look like what would’ve happen if God took Adam’s rib and made another Adam -"He could fit him in your ass, I'll let you figure out who is who." -Bring your child to work day. -Twins -"Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce The Neckbeard Bros, Tweedle and Twiddle." -The village peoples version of Dr. Evil and Mini Me. -The adventures of t-shirt dress and camel toe -No knee pads needed -"""Apprentice!?"" It looks more like a mini me." -A couple of butt nuts -This is Pork n’ Beans as people -This is like the movie 'Twins' staring Danny DeVito and Tall Danny DeVito -The bfg by Roald Dahl aka the big fucking giant -Instead of being husband and wife you can be butt buddies -"Loved the movie Twins, glad to see a remake. Danny Divito let himself go though." -"Do you ever jump on the bigger guys back and start screaming ""MASTER BLASTER! WHO RUN BARTERTOWN? MASTER BLASTER!""" -"Before water, and after..." -Bring your child to work day -Where’s the sign saying “Zero Days Without an Accident”? -When Mario hits that power up mushroom. -It’s Rocky and Mugsy 😂 -"Regular Mario, Super Mario" -Hopefully you make me think of the moral and Laurel and Hardy strange reason -What kind of t-shirt are you buying for them to be too big for your 6’6 to big to go through doorways body -"One is a quarter of a sperm, the other ate his sperm brothers." -It must've been a bitch getting twin outfits in a sixty-eight extra fat and a twelve dwarf. -Would “Shocker and Focker” be the electrical Thunder Dome equivalent of “Master and Blaster”? -Penn & Smeller -Of mice and men -We’ve found the answer to how many guys does it take to fix your plumbing and change a light bulb -Twins! -Hey you on the left where’s the rest of ya? -Are you wearing the same sized trousers? -"Well both of you look like your fucking stupid mouth breaking ass clowns. "" just a journeyman and his old apprentice ""..... nobody gives a shit . Fuck off" -When you’re making a character and you wanna see what they look like and max height for a sec. -They just finished constructing a tunnel to get across the border -Bring your son to work day also that neck beard isn’t doing bro any favors -Ah I see Teller passed away and Penn had to clone himself. -I’m gonna tell my kids that this was biggie smalls -Don’t let Lenny pet the puppy -"Anakin (left) after being on the higher ground, Anakin (right) while being on the higher ground, Anakin himself only after consuming enough of the galaxy’s Porg nuggets to look like Jabbas asshole" -Are you guys twins? -The more believable version of Twins. Soz Arnie and Danny 😐 -"“Hi, we just moved to the neighborhood, and we are registered ______”" -"Thunderdome! Two men enter, one man leaves!" -Mutt and Jeff came out of retirement. -Wonka and his first oompa loompa -So you’re both that sniper guy from Boardwalk Empire? Weird. -Which is master and which is blaster? Who runs Barter town? -I thought engineers were supposed to be the ones with neck beards -It's like one of those rooms with the optical illusion and a mirror. -Get in my BELLY! -"Can we put an F in the chat for the big ones knees. Top heavy on chicken legs, poor things look like they're going to buckle backwards." -Stewart little and his side kick mr pibbles. -Oral and Hardly...(Laurel and Hardy) -Looks like the big one shit the other one out -You guys look like you have a daily contest to see who can eat the most paint chips -Round hard hats are gay and so r u guys -Elf -Do you set your apprentice on your johnson and spin him around like a goddamn pinwheel? -Reminds me of those oldschool looney tuned with the little mafia dude and the big buffoon. -Reminds me of maxing out each trait while customizing a new Skyrim character -The big one holds the ladder for the little one -Why are your proportions so fucking weird? -Why does one just look like a shrunken version of the other -"I think I fought you cats in Final Fantasy 8. Good to see you two have moved on to better things than some dank ass, stupid fuckin maze." -Looking like a set of balls left bigger than the right -Oompa Loompa doompa-Dee-do -"One does not often see both a Munchlax and a Snorlax working as boiler inspectors, and at the same place nonetheless! A rare find indeed!" -"Penn & Teller, but less funnier." -The guy on the left got a camel toe -"Failed reboot when Charlie Sheen went a little mad: One and a half men - -Or - -They are still working out the kinks in the cloning program." -I love how they covered up all the dicks they drew everywhere. Like we don't know. -I see the trades are having their annual bring your child to work day today. -Twins -Are you short or is he tall??? -If you measure your journey in strides. One of you is going a lot farther than the other. -“Mutt and Jeff do construction” -Thats cute he wants to be like you when he grows up. -"IBEW? - -Does that stand for ""I bitch every weekday""?" -Slob and Bitch -You look like the same guy in adjacent mirrors in the fairground -Ren and Stimpy? -An Ewok standing next to Chewbacca. -"Big Johnson, little Johnson. " -You guys make more money than everyone commenting here -Big guy pooped out the little guy. -Dumb and dumber dropped a third movie -It is a good thing gay couples can't reproduce in this case. Your kids would be ugly. -"You really gotta hand it to that apprentice. Seriously, most times he cannot reach" -Y’all just look like Trump supporters. -Is that your dad? -Seeing yall got all this time to be roasted instead of working.....I see your teaching him how to bullshit on the old company time eh? -You look like the fun size and the king size of the same candy. -Of Splice and Men… -You ever midget toss him for fun? -Dorf on Electricity -I shall call him Minimi. What time of the day does the dwarf tossing take place? -The Village People have really let themselves go…. -I mean anything is a dildo if you're brave enough -6' tall versus 5'11.99999'. -"Hopefully both of you know your many shortcomings,now you can add decision making to your list.did either of you think your lives would improve by being roasted?🤮" -"Awww it’s like those Russian nesting dolls, only not as fat and hairy!!" -"It's cute. Take your daughter to work day in full swing. - -What happened? You guys are twins, but one of you got left in the dryer too long?" -"Definitely electricians, too clean 😂.. although their work space never saw a broom the whole project. Also, word has it that he was the guy that wrote ""stop throwing your cigarette butts in the urinal!! They are much harder to re light!"" In the Porta potty 😂" -I feel like his coveralls are about to touch his collar bone. -Arnold and Danny? That you guys doing a remake? -Did y’all trade safety vests? -Before and after of If you take someone from to catch a predator and give them a mario power up mushroom 🍄 -You guys look like a variant of each other -"Dude, you could of saved your back by getting a Snugli. Your apprentice would be at your level all day long." -"Ha, look ma, New legs." -The adventurer and dwarf friend -Cholo Baggins and Gandalf the Gay. -Bring your kid to work day -If Russian nesting dolls had a Lameass Creeper Neckbeard line. -Apprenticeship where? North Pole? -"I’m pretty sure I have a good idea where this photo was taken! Y’all in Oregon? - -You guys look like Dr Evil and Mini Me but instead of evil genius you guys developed nicotine addiction in your teens and the rest is history" -"Damn, Mario and Luigi took the wrong path in life, man, it’s sad to see." -40 year old virgin*$* -Was it a “bring your kid to work” day? -"It’s like that movie Twins, but Arnold is just another tall Danny Devito." -"Well, at least you're part of a union. You have that going for you" -Is this Gimli and his stunt double? -Are you standing in a hole? This is like a force perspective picture. -Did the tall guy pull the small guy out his ass? -Do you think they…you know… -The magic industry must not have been kind recently to Penn and teller -Cast of the new “Twins” -The funny thing is the lil one probably goes top while the larger oafish one trys desperately to generate power from the bottom -under construction compilation 6 : Grower vs shower -I didn’t know flaggers had journeymen and apprentices. -adventures of Short stack n Ger-juanimo -Who’s the top and who’s the bottom? -I bet you guys have a great ventriloquist act. -Definitely some IBLEW members right there! -I honestly thought this was a first day of school picture. -He already learned the beard better than you... -The two random characters you made on farming sim -Is the bigger dude wearing a smaller vest than the smaller dude or is that just an optical illusion? -Little Man and His bitch. -They both have the same size penis -He's gonna pork her -Looks like bring your shit head son to work day. -Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dumber -If the Minions were real life people. -You cloned yourself -master zapper -It's like those Russian dolls -Is he really tall or are you a fkn dwarf? -Atleast you don't have to get on your knees to suck him off -One of you needs to grow up -You look like these two dudes I tried to make join Amway at a bus stop once -"This photo is weird because compared to each other, the other guy is photoshopped." -Giant JM is a blister if I ever saw one. Shows up after all the work is done because he spends all day jerkin it to poorly drawn sharpie pictures of his mom's tits in the shit house. Mini apprentice is the one who drew the jolly green giants mom after shagging that sagging snatchsquatch for a free carton of smokes -Despite the size difference they both took the short bus to work -One is the wizard of oz and the other is a lolipop kid -Both of you look like you make grilled cheeses at 3am. -6’6 but his dick is 3”4” -"which one of you bottoms first when you're hiding from your wives at ""Thursday night football""" -You 2 look like the Burt and Ernie of the construction industry. -One and a half journeymen -"Damn, Dumb and Dumber 3 already out?" -gtfo with your onlyfans advertisement. -"“I’ll give you $60 an hour, but that little one’s half off, right?”" -He ate the last apprentice -Big and Little Enos Burdette -Well he doesn’t need to bend when giving you head -When you create a character and select the backstory hobo street loser. -Penn and Teller if Teller said anything -Like the movie Twins -So how was bring your son to work day? -TWINNING! -Vest is a dress on the left and a bib on the right. CRAZY! -Inbred? -The tall guy's goatee is the short man's beard -I bet their wives are even fatter... If they ain't gay. -"You can copy off my homework. Just don't make it so obvious, lol" -"Tall guy actually is 5’6 - -“Don’t talk to me or my son again”" -"You should ride on his shoulders and yell ""Who runs Barter Town?""" -Get that check my guy -You look like those cartoon identical twins whereas one is short and the other one is tall -What's your OF? -Real life Ren and Stimpy. -"Ironically, the short one is the pitcher in this game." -Mario and Luigi -Take your child to work day -I bet you became an apprentice pipe fitter because you thought there would be a ton of cocks involved. -The guy on the left drew the short straw. His head is going up the tall guys ass. -"You look like they did a remake of Twins, but it was only in Philly." -Did you at least apologize to your apprentice when you stepped on him? -Thought it was Shane Gillis doing a bit -This reboot of Twins sucks. -It’s the Safety from Breadstick Ricky and the Boss! Holy crap he’s short. -I didn't know there was a Twins Reboot -Biggie and Puff get square jobs -Two disgusting human beings. They sicken me. -You look like GTA 4 NPCs -That vest is 1 size fits neither -"Will come back later to draw you, but you look like Buddy ready to sit on papa elf’s lap." -"'Goddammit Ernie, stop putting Simple Rick in the fucking electrified Shrinkatron! and why did you dress him up like yourself!""" -Did they base the Minions on the guy on the left? -The is the real life version of family guys bitch Stewie -Inbred and inbred Jr. -"The cloning lab fucked up, but you both look like the failure" -comment -Congratulations you've been chosen as the new spokesperson for Camel cigarettes. -Isn't that uncomfortable? -Yall know that thing stinks like monster energy drinks -Giggles during orgasms -Legs looking like Pillsbury dough busting out of the can -So basic that the only present anybody can ever think of buying for you is a scented candle -Drawer half open...like a psychopath -"Clearly the kind of person to host an alcohol-less party and call it ""fun""." -"How long have you been rebelling against ""the church""?" -Did you steal that nose from a Wicked production? -You look like the type of woman who has accidentally gotten her hair in the toilet after a drunk evening. -The only monster I see in that picture is your monster moose knuckle between your legs. Did you have to grease your thighs to get those shorts on? -Pull those shorts up any higher and you'll be tasting them -"Winnie Cooper got hooked on speed, so Kevin let her go.." -"You may be relaxing, but those shorts are working OT" -"Your shorts don’t need to be shoved between your vag lips. Who taught you to dress yourself, a toddler?" -This photo has memorialized the moment of creation for the mother of all yeast infections. -That moose knuckle speaks for itself. -You look like you use too much teeth when you give blowjobs -You like Monster energy so much you dyed your hair the same color as the Lo-Carb can -You look like the ass licker on r/trailerparkthreesomes -Your nose looks like a dickhead…but bigger -"Just a small collection of dragon dildos in the back dresser. - - -""I'm not like the other girls""" -Jaundice vagina -Your vagina has more tumbleweeds blowing than an Arizona desert. -The most surprising thing about this picture is that you have a friend to take it. -The definition of Camel toe. -The Real Housewives of 8 Mile -Your Onlyfans only has one fan -Damn them shorts so tight they're swabbing your cervix -"Sure, Jan…" -Bet she has a sour oder -You must be one of those edgy Mormon women who drinks monsters and stays up late with your soon to be sister wives. -That moose knuckle keeps her stable when she takes her broom out for a ride. -"I see the monster under the bed is doing ads now, jfc." -You look like a family member of the zombie family from Resident evil 7 -Gnarly mud rut you got there.😉 -I don’t think all those candles are going to help with that smell. -You look like you bake with your yeast infection -"I'd be surprised to see you in Target, you are more like a Walmart at 2am type." -That camel is wearing flip flops -That’s a very interesting dildo you have on the dresser. -Your hair is graying because it can tell that the amount of Monster you consume is not leaving you a lot of years left. -Your can of monster doubles as your dildo -New fashion statement—“Strangle Shorts.” -Monster can and monster clam -Moose knuckle -"Hell,the blind people want to thank you for your brail vagina" -"Great, one monster wasnt bad enough." -How the hell did you get into those shorts? -Your vagina is devouring your shorts -🐪 -You're probably hoping that the interesting but poorly maintained hair in combination with all those candles will distract everyone from the smell.... -Even her family gives her a massive amount of candles to cover up the coochie smell. -Teeth and hair the same color. -The real monster in this photo is eating your shorts… -Future cat lady right here forsure -"Only the nose knows, so speak beak" -The scented candles to hide the musk coming from that drippy ditch on display? -Does your dad know you're on the internet? -Dubai starting there bid on the race with that hoof -You should wear shorts that are long enough to hide the needle marks. -You look like you cup and sniff your own farts -Are you wearing a nose extension? -you look like someone off-screen propped up your corpse into a still-oddly-corpse-like position to try and pretend that you’re still alive. it’s not working. -I can see the herpes sores creeping down your thighs. -Hungry Vag -You are at home bored because there isn't enough Natty Ice to get a guy or girl or trans or person dressed like a German Sheppard to fuck you -I bet when you pull those shorts off it’s like peeling open a grilled cheese sandwich. -"Goddamn, you look boring." -"Monster in her hand, and one in her pants." -Damn girl even Camels gotta breathe -"Exhale, you are sucking up your shorts…." -"You're the kind of girl that would give your brother a handjob just to say you've been at third base, right?" -I wonder if that monster can has anything to do with that outrageous camel -"Are those bruises or Needle tracks on her thigh? - -""Heroin to the lateral thigh, bold choice cotton lets see how it plays out.""" -Lol...yeah but there are the gross camel toes...hers is cute -Camel toe...hell no...Grand Canyon -"Camel toe aside, can we talk about your decor?" -Visions of X-wing and Tie Fighters chasing each other in that massive gully. -All I see is monsters and tacos -"That monster is for the energy you'll need to pry them panties and shorts from the grip of that hooter cooter huh? - -Not a roast, more of a ""can I be invited to loose my dock in it too "" type thing honestly. - -The roast comes once I get gonorrhea huh" -Why is your camel toe in the shape of Harry Potter's forehead scar? -That ain't a camel toe. That there is a moose knuckle. Bet it's itchy -"We all know this isn't a camel toe . - -Nice balls bro ." -"Damn girl, your crotch is so hungry it could compete with cookie monster." -Nice bite on those shorts -Instead of you having a camel toe. Your rocking an elephant toe -Call that thing World Eater -"Rock,paper,scissor,knuckle" -I really wanted to tell you a quote from Gandolf. But I forgot everything he said to Frodo. -"Do t have much to say…. -Your ends need a trim… -Like 6 inches…" -"You could still pass for a sixth grader and even the guys in that grade know toxic when they see it. You’ve got two choices among men: Your uncles (who are into it, for sure) or 60-plus guys who pay for everything but whose eyesight is bad and standards worse." -Admit you have a drinking issues..stealing vodka from your dads mini bar..and then mix it with monster so you don’t look suspicious -The ever elusive hungry vagina pic -"A veritable buffet of scented candles in the background? A vagina plugged with seven inches of Ross’ most average denim? *I dunno you guys, something fishy about this*" -"Appears you’re hungry, and I don’t mean your mouth… 👇🏻" -What made you think “I’ll wear the smallest shorts I can use and I’ll post it on the internet” was a good idea?. -"Eyes look suspiciously pink, do you lick ass on a first date?" -Drinking monster while bored like she's prepping for a lifetime of binging friends and repping dimentia pills for a speedrun -If kyle was a girl -"You can tell by looking at you from the front that you have absolutely no Ass, kneecaps any one??" -I can smell your growler from here. And I don’t mean the one in your hand… -Do you have to apply lube to get out of those shorts? -It's the Candles and cat piss special! -Your cooch said let me breathe -How many candles do you need to cover your stank ass -Did you stick that monster can up your vag before pulling up your shorts? -"Last time she had a real monster in her hand, it came and went. He hasn't talked to her since." -"She looks like a Kentucky Cousins version of Jan Brady. -*It’s always Marcia Marcia Marcia* -She just needs a cigarette bobbing between her lips while saying it to go along with her Monster." -I've never seen thighs trying to hard to run away -I can tell that you shower only when it rains outside -"You look like you would drink one energy drink then stay up like a meth addict on a three day bender, furiously making colorful giant dildos out of melted candles." -Is that an energy drink or just a midlife crisis in a can? -Nice thigh gap -The only other monster in this pic lurks behind your hollow eyes and dead smile -"That’s no camel toe, it’s beef curtains tucked in there" -"I can't tell if you're 14 or 40. Either way, you're going to be single for life" -bob and vagine. is like wizard's sleeve. -I bet that's not the only type of monster you like in your hand. -So you are bored and therefore we need to be punished by looking at you? -Nose bigger than my dic -"There are camel toes and there is the San Andreas Fault.. - -and there are big scented candles, a monster energy can, watery eyes and a dirty smile.. I have the feeling I know what you just did and I want to unknow it 😝" -"We understand what you want, we can read your lips." -"You know, with camel toe like that, sex with her would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway." -"Your vagina must be hungry, it’s eating your shorts." -That cameltoe has a belly button. -"I can't tell if you're 15 trying to look older, or if you're 35 trying to look 15. I'm guessing the latter because your dad wouldn't tolerate you having the camel toe at 15" -"I just spoke to my mate in Saudi Arabia he's been having a bit of trouble walking recently. I showed him your photo he went real quiet....Well he's not really my mate he's actually a CAMEL. He said not so politely "" I WANT MY F**KIN TOE BACK!""" -I had a dresser like that 20 years ago. Always wondered where it went. Now I know who shopped at Goodwill. -"Are you matching hair color with your grandma on purpose or is it just the stress of drinking too much battery acid? At this rate, you'll be on your deathbed by the time you turn 15! By the way, you could probably afford some conditioner if you didn't spend your entire allowance on candles every week" -Daddy always said that you are the best kisser -You’re going to die if you drink beer with that Monster -Yup checks out you can only have a virtual family -Those tree trunks putting down roots. -You wouldn’t need all of those scented candles if you just kept your pantry drawer shut. -Old Monster Crotch is at it again. -I feel sorry for those shorts. Does it sound like Velcro being pulled apart when your clam finally releases them? -"That camel toe. Those thigh bruises. That butter face. There’s a reason the boys like you, huh?" -You need to start feeding your vagina before it eats all of your clothes -The two of you should work together and clean that room. -Not surprised you’re at home alone with the way your pet camel eats ever right in sight. -I'd deep plunge her zesty puckered starfish -I’m cool with you relaxing at home as long as no one feeds you after midnight -That camel toe can eat your entire sofa -You need to relax on them shorts. -"There’s actually three monsters in this picture. The one on your shoulders, your hand, and in your pants." -How much of your morning is picking out lint? -You look like your voice is nasally -You’d need sophisticated plastic surgery just to turn that camel squiggle into a camel toe. -That’s a Monster moose knuckle. -"Patient: what is wrong with me, why do I have the urge to show myself in suggestive ways - -Doctor: you have the onset symptoms of the OF Disease" -"Can't decide which monster is real, your face or the can" -Drop that OF link already and fix those short. That must be hurting -Is that a Rose-ringed parakeet? -Thats a quite the number of scars -"Grandmother, your nose is so big -And haven't you noticed your malebox is ajar" -You look like you’re living entirely off of your grandma’s social security check and the $17 check you get from only fans each month -"You don't take care of your hair, do you...?" -\#? -r/meatcurtains -I see a front butt😎 -deeper than the mariana trench -Your Camel Toe has something horrible growing off it -Your horses don't like you. -Are those George Washington’s teeth? -Look at that cameltoe! You could probably pick up a pencil with that thing -Feed your vagina before it finishes eating your shorts. -"The camel toe is understandable, monster makes you punch a lot of things in." -That pussy must be starving 👀 -There's 2 monsters in this pic. -"How did you make a wig out of hair collected from a clogged drain? Also, you smell bad" -Ahh look a monster! And it's holding an energy drink -Teenage Grandma: where you dye your hair to match your face..  -Women like you with bulging chubb reserves immolate themselves. -Still would after a few drinks -That cat hungry af it's eating your shorts -That pussy must be hungry cause it's eating those shorts. -"Horse teeth and camel hoof, what a mix." -You have the bedroom and cameltoe of a 65 year old. -Please clean the top of your dresser it is making me anxious thank you -I'll need that monster to have even close to enough energy to come up with something you haven't already been told a thousand times -She’s wearing coochie cutters -It winked at me -That toe is sucking the universe out. -Somehow managed to stuff an entire ninja inside your vagina with just its foot sticking out. -i don't know but that's tooo wideeed -You look like the kinda girl to blame her boyfriend for cheating in a dream. -I saw r/coast me 😐 -The only way you fight anxiety is by drinking more energy drinks  -Are your legs on backwards? 🤔 -Living proof that if you drink monster energy drinks your hair turns grey -Moose knuckle! -You look just like Katelyn Devers..Except she's pretty... -Did you use your beak to open that can? -You look sick -She's got them crack whore thighs.  -Your frame looks like a 14yo but your face looks 41 -It's ironic that your holding a monster can while looking like a corpse yourself. I guess you really are what you eat. -That thing is itching to breathe! It probably has a discharge and smells!!! -Maisie Williams ? -This chick for sure grew up in a Mormon home and we just witnessed the most wild moment in her life. -Someone's flossing. -That south mouth is hungry -She drinks what slides up in her twat -Applying two tourniquet to make a gap doesn't count. -Your shorts are cutting off the circulation to your legs.. or do they normally look like sausages? -Looks like you got shorter but your head got taller so you stayed the same height -Are you like 3 ft tall or something? Maybe they should have cast you as one of the dwarfs in Snow White... -"I heard there are no bad blow jobs, but what if they smell like ferret?" -She doesn't even get off her knees to RELAX? -You peg your bf with that nose don't you squidward -You need vitamins -You look like a 40 year old art teacher trying to be cool. -At least when it rains your tits stay dry -Definitely not the first time you've had a black monster in your hand -Why you on ur knees? -"Well, I just thought of an excellent place to park my bicycle." -your hair is dryer than your pussy -You don't eat it. That thing eats you. -I have to wonder…. When the wind blows up your skirt does it sound like two thick pieces of ham slapping together 🤔 -Everybody check out Shnozzy Mudflaps -"Those eyes have seen some shit, not as much as that cootermaw, but definitely some shit." -Shorts tucked into vagina and shirt tucked into shorts is an interesting choice. -Feed that cat before it eats all your clothes. -That's quite the moose knuckle you got there. -You have a candle for every ex you’ve made cry from punching a hole in their wall. -Definitely not the only Monster you've had in your hand that day. -There’s a little tiny soap statuette bust thing by the window blinds - nice melons! -"Holy shit, you have more toe than Fred Astaire" -That's not a camel toe that's a moose knuckle! -So this is what effortlessly disgusting looks like 🤔 -That's actually a reindeer hoof -This clunge was brought to you by Monster energy. -"Loose lips sink ships, you just drowned the entire U.S. Navy" -"Do you purposely wear shorts so far into your cooch to try and distract people from noticing that absolute unit of a honker on your face? And seriously can someone tell me why women always have random bruises on their legs that they can never recall where they are from? I can barely remember what I had for breakfast 15 minutes ago, but I can always remember where every bruise scrape or cut is from." -"Umm ur camel toe is showing and from one female to the next , ummm u should keep it to urself" -I can't help but think those bruises on your thigh are from you pecking at your own leg with that fucking beak of a nose. -More like roast beef me -heavy grandmacore vibe here -Nice camel 🐫 toe -She’s cute but she probably wants a Hallmark movie guy. A dude that owns a Christmas tree farm has a kitten rescue that’s a lumberjack. -What's with all the bruises and cuts all over your arms and legs? That your pimp's doing for not smiling good enough in previous pictures? -"New this year just in time for Christmas: Trailer Park Barbie *monster cans, drywall holes and black eyes sold separately*" -You think wearing booty shorts makes you more attractive. You're wrong. Still mid. -You’re late for the casting couch. -Your cameltoe looks like babe Ruth’s baseball glove -Relaxing in torture shorts? -"Proud affiliate of monster energy drinks, and MONSTER camel toe" -"Your the type my mom said don't let them take your wallet, home and your no no square" -Camel toe looks so good -All the scented candles in your room can't cover up the smell of your desperation -The prime fupa leading to that camel toe looks pretty ripe. -You must be tingling down there from how tight the shorts are -That camel toe makes it look like you are dividing by mitosis -A Super hero name Strong nose -Ninja boot. Are those track marks at your wrist? Looks like you've been muscle jamming in that thigh too. -Rapunzel post midlife crisis -What are with the sex toys and candles? I don’t think the candles can mask the smell. -A monster enjoying a monster. -That’s one hungry kitty! -"""Polka dots, purple hair, and Monster Energy—are you trying to win the 'Pinterest meets gamer mom' starter pack award?"" 😄" -"Meth tracks on your legs, brown teeth, you have some stories to tell" -How your nose and camel toe match? -Her dick hangs leftward -"The first picture ive seen on reddit to contain the monsters. The can, the nose and the human card swipe machine." -Girl dyed her hair with that can of Monster. -Just relaxing with a Monster. Said no one ever. -"Between the energy drink, camel toe and bruises on your legs. I get the feeling you are rarely bored or relaxed in your room at home. I get the feeling your room may be a playground for the guys at the nearby military base or your place of employment for only fans." -“Relaxing” with a monster energy drinks seems like a paid promotion -It looked at me first -You should seek treatment for that Axe wound. -Boner garage -"Congrats, Is it a boy or a girl?" -Bored at home = Dishwasher can't cook -"Well,at least you'd have somewhere to park your bike." -Let’s play “spot the monster” - can you find them both? -"Pussy doesn't come fitted anymore, it comes boot-cut by the looks of it" -"Hey, I think I’ve seen that background in someone’s onlyfans!" -You look like scabies. -You vibe with a corn cob -You look like you’re ok with frontal wedgies -There’s poop in your hair. Your poop -These weren't shorts when she put them on -I would ask what all the candles are for.... but I think we know -I would ask what scent those candles be covering but... we all know -What did you do to that poor dildo in the background?! -Wash your hair and the camel you rode in on! -You're just begging for work in style. It seems daddy's dick isn't good enough for you. -How often do you pose like that with your knees down -This is your second roast me this month. Does dying your hair stupid colors not get you enough attention? -Credit or debit? -put some face on that schnoz -All those candles and room still smells like fish -Your Cameltoe is sponsored by Monster energy. -Are you stoned? Or do you just look like that? -"Whats in those boxes on the top shelf? - -More candles and dildos I suppose." -Why do all of these Roast Me chicks have bruises on their leg? -I’ve heard of cellulite before but never culluheavy -This picture sends shivers down my spine. You look like a drowning victim after soaking a couple of days in the marina. -I'd love to bury my face up there between your thighs......mmmmmm mmmmm -First time seeing a lot lizard indoors. -Your the girl guys hook up with then don’t tell their friends about. -You left your crotchless pantie drawer open. -"By the looks of it, life’s roasted you more than enough" -"with a Moose knuckle like that. We know your BF Kyle, ain't punching drywall." -Kyle went from punching drywall to your thighs after you took his Monster -You are a ho -I bet you could squat down and pick up an ear of corn with no hands. -That's not a camel toe. That's a nutsack. -You remind me of the multi-colored hair clog I fished out of the shower drain with a coat hanger -Those shorts passed being too small two sizes ago -What’s the point of the three feet of dead lifeless straw like granny hair? Do you use it to wipe your butt when you are out of toilet paper? -Your shorts are in you. -Is this a before picture? -"Is that a camel toe, or a tuck?" -I’ll pull those shorts out of pussy with my teeh -Get back to cleaning skank. -"If you’re relaxing you can’t be bored, dumbass" -Them Jean shorts trying to get in there and hang with the rest of the frat house -Nice dong wallet -Just chew on that for awhile. -If Kyle were a female -OP breaks the Unfunny abuse rule with this photo where are the mods -Nice pants but are they also available in your size? -I like your camel toe -"Well, I wasn't bored until you burned out all of my motivation with that cheeky photo." -The moose called. He wants his knuckle back -Awesome ! I just found best place to park my motorcycle without putting kickstand down -The real monster is holding the can -"no sexy candle's fragrances can hide this period odor. and yes, we can see your pad." -"While you at it make a meal for that 🐈, that kitty hungry as fuck" -sure you're from the studio pixars... -Why the long lips? -New spokesperson for the Gap -looks like about 80yrs old already. did you dye your hair or is that all natural?? I'm wondering why there's pillows on the top shelf. -Can’t afford adult pants? -It’s like a camel stomping open a clam! -"All those candles don't help, people can still smell the mix of cum stains and shame on your bed sheets." -Cyanocobalamin. Artificially created vitamin B12. You're drinking human waste mixed with cyanide. -A monster holding an energy drink. -Monster energy drink and that camel toe? I know it tastes like fermented battery acid. -meat flaps mcgee -"If they filmed Misery is 2024, they would cast you instead of Kathy Bates…." -comment -I’ve seen better filters in an office coffee maker. -"That shirt says Old Navy, but those tits say The Gap." -You’re going to bring your black cat bad luck -You look like you could play hacky sack with your own titties.  -Why the long tits? -25 years old but those tits are at least 85 years old.  -Be careful in the hood. It looks like your gums are throwing gang signs. -Them titties longer than a Monday -All the filter AND all the fat -"You have a filter on all your pictures. We both know you're already pretty 'humble' about your looks. Good idea leading with the cleavage in every outfit you wear, gotta distract from the teeth and, you know, obesity, but really it's like a chandelier in a haunted house." -Havent mirrors humbled you enough. -"Body by lizzo, teeth by UK" -"I don't normally recommend this, but....have you looked into meth?" -You should put an apple in your mouth before roasting. -Those are the jugs that led Isaac Newton to discover gravity. -The floor called it’d like you to hold your own tits up! -You'd be pretty if you lost 500 pounds. -Do you have to put some kind of chap stick on your nipples to prevent wear and tear due to rubbing on the floor? -So ugly your teeth are vying for position to get farthest away from your face -Filters don’t work on gum disease. In all seriousness please make an appointment with a dental hygienist. Periodontal disease can lead to other serious health complications. -Teeth playing the hokie pokie -Just checking on you OP. I see no replies are you ok 😭 -If post nut clarity had a poster child... -Even filters can’t hide that gingivitis -You were the wrecking ball in Miley Cyruse's “Wrecking Ball” -Why use filters but not use the best one… the blurred out censorship one? -Why are your teeth throwing up Westside? -In another 5 years you'll be able to tuck those titties in your waistband. -Went through more filters than an air conditioner  -"As if those fucked up teeth aren't ""humbling"" enough? Knock it off" -"Another typical example of “I have a great personality” and “I just need a man who will love me for me” mindset. Stop eating your feelings, you can’t paint over that much back fat, cats are not a suitable replacement for self discipline." -Daddy doesn't want to choke you. -I can tell you smell like Newports. -You don’t need to wear bras because your gut probably gives them enough support -That cat is stuck to you because of your gravitational pull. -Cat looks scared - like you might eat it. -You don’t really look like you need to be humbled. I feel bad enough for you. -I would need an actual photo to roast. Someone tried using MS paint instead of a filter. -~gravity and (lack of) dent-is-try… 🎶working in perfect har-mon-y🎶 -You’re what we call the IHOP Special -Why do *you* feel the need to be humbled lol. -Why does it look like your tongue is holding back your one front tooth? -"There is a filter where it places your eyes and mouth on a banana. - - -Try that one of you wanna look more natural and fuckable." -Your lack of freckles are not the problem girl -Now take the filter off so we can see if you have two or three chins -Ur cats favorite dangly toy is ur titties -"""Hi, I'm Heather and taxidermy is my hobby. I can't wait to meet your pet!""" -The filters aren’t helping -I’ve never met someone who wears a choker in public and thought “what a stable person I’d like to have them around more” -Adding filters to your pics is like polishing a turd. It's still a turd. -"Have you thought about getting a reduction? Nice pussy, though." -Your teeth are so fucking tired of you shoveling shit into them that they're desperately trying to escape. -Bro like I can't even roast u u take up to much storage -EZ on the soft focus filter there long-tits. -"We call those summer teeth, sum are over here and sum are over there" -What makes you confident enough to post this? -Your dentist is also an abstract artist by any chance? -You couldn’t decide on a single good angle to take your pictures from? Even after 9 photos none of them look good. That’s actually kinda impressive to be that bad. -Couldn’t you find a filter for your teeth? -Wow I've never seen the filters try and fail so hard in so many pictures -If Hagrid and Moaning Myrtle had a daughter. -I can't properly roast because your pictures have more filters than a carton of Marlboro Reds. -I can tell by your teeth that you're English. -Lavar Ball teeth looking boi. -"I used to be smart, but then all my brains fell into my tits." -Udderly awful -Each swipe you ate more freckles. -You don’t need any more humbling experiences.  -I’ll bet you can eat corn on the cob through a chain-link fence with them teeth. -All your pics on tinder are from your cleavage up or holding the phone high over your head pointed down at you. There are no second dates -The filter on my a/c don’t work half as hard as the ones on your camera -"You thought this experience would be humbling? If a mirror hasn’t humbled you yet, nothing will." -Stitch is literally screaming to get off your shirt. Probably being chased by those boulders you have. Indiana Jone Style. -If I were you I’d continue to use filters. God knows how bad you’d looked without the face blue and fake freckles -Why do I keep staring at your knees? -Better get used to cats now. With those looks you’ll have plenty later in life -The look on your cats face tells us more than we want to know about you. -Looks like a dollar store model -Weird how filters don't even help you -You look like your kink is not orthadontia. -Poor guy that gets catfished with those filters on photos -Can you open my campbells soup can? My can opener broke. -Roast YOU? Jesus H Christ…that’s like throwing a chicken wing on the grill after it’s already been cooked extra extra crispy. -She ate the cat. -Your face has the curvature of a balloon. -"Wow, your more filter than girl… and your alot of girl" -"No, no one is interested in your OF 🤮" -You would need a filter to post that face here… oh wait. You used one on every. Single. Photo. -Teeth like a caveman’s necklace -I’ve seen better teeth on Jack-O-Lanterns that were carved with a chainsaw. -You look fun...damentally flawed -"Bizarre you take the time to filter on some freckles, but no time to fix those fuckin teeth!" -Asked her teeth for volunteers. Two stepped forward. -When your front tooth decides to take a back seat -Those titties are longer than the last 15 mins at work -Make them big tits fart. -"Christ, even filters can’t fix fucked up teeth" -Fake freckles are cringe -"Fucking hell, Snapchat thought they were having a ddos." -Those freckles you paid your brother's friend to tattoo on your face that you probably paid with a subpar blowie really scream I'm a unique individual. -"You can’t filter the fat away, sorry" -The only thing that needs to be humble about you is your diet. -"Why is it fat girls always have a face like either a flounder or a mule? Or like in this case, a combination of the two." -Crazy young cat lady. And you look like a crazy old cat lady. -That will teach you to sing “All I Want for Christmas is my three front teeth” -Top 1% on OnlyHams -Of course you’re a cat person -Whats lower? Your expectations in life or your tits? -I bet you offer really good snu snu :P -That tooth 🦷is humbling -Took body positivity to another level 🙌🏼 -You don’t fit in the pics -Invisaline. Google it. -"Have hope, someone out there has a slump that needs busting." -Correct the age please to 35 -Those casaba melons are hanging to your knee caps -Filter queen -"Your best personality trait are your breasts and your teeth don’t need braces, more like guard rails. Why your dentist implant beaver teeth." -"Jesus! Is your dad also your cousin, uncle, and brother!?" -"Your freckles look like they were drawn with crayon by a 5-year-old, and your teeth look like they panicked and all started running in different directions." -38 Longs? -Did Jared from Subway transition and move back next to McDonalds? -The filters suck better than you do. -The dog collar in pic 4 makes sense…best way to go for a walk -Honestly I think your smile is cute. It's a nice little reminder that your parents didn't love you quite enough to get you braces. -you do strange things for change -Go back to Mexico -Those teeth leave me no option but titty fucking. -You are the main culprit for increased CO2 levels -You tuck them titties into your waistband? -I’m sure life has already humbled you. -"If the doctor ever has to find your navel, he just has to look between your nipples" -"You are so big, you exhale industrial levels of carbon dioxide" -Humbling? How do you have anything left to humble? -Need to fix those teeth !! (Sorry) -Cats the same color she likes her men. -You give bomb head. Then he leaves. -Your teeth look like the Homer Simpson hiding in the bushes meme -"Are you dyslexic? I bet you intended to write ""F52""" -The mirror isn't humbling enough? -3 months from now your profile will have an NSFW tag for sure -I can save my people from slavary and lead them into the land of gold and hony through that gap between thos two oceans -It takes 3 passes to eat corn on the cob with those chompers. -Use filters and still look bad -Do y’all post on here thinking Reddit will keep it pg 😭 -Absolutely gorgeous......cat! I question the cats' choice in friends. -How many things have you lost down that cleavage? -"Couldn’t give us a single pic with no filter, damn…" -must not own a mirror if you need to be “humbled” -You look like a 40 y/0 single mom. Yikes -"She says she needs humbling, but with a face like that I couldn’t imagine the self esteem being any lower!" -Pull down your panties so I can get a look at them tiddies. -Never seen teeth do the hokey-cokey before. -25 ? More like 45 with 4 kids and a meth habit. -Nice lisp -Your dentist must hate life. -Hopefully you have a great personality -3 front teeth -Filters are doing all the heavy lifting . -"You don't need any humbling. By the looks of you, Your entire life has been a humbling experience" -Is your bra size 40 long? -You have more front teeth than Tom Cruise. -Those two teeth like “we don’t fit you Lotto!” -"Legend has it that one day, the left tit fell from the bra......... Heard, Japan received a Richter 9 earthquake." -Please don't post again. -Pictures you can smell -I’m pretty sure you have something to do with the earth’s gravity. -"Um, hey. . . .did you realize your butt is where your chest should be?" -God set the teeth to randomize on this one -"""get out of my swamp""" -"Next time you want something fun and humbling, try the gym…" -"I love breasts, small ones, bouncy ones, big ones, perky ones....I thought I love them all untill I saw whatever the fuck is going on with yours in the first photo" -Do they not make filters for teeth? -"She's got Summer Teeth.....summer brown, summer tan, summer straight" -"Do your tits hang low? -Do they wobble to and fro? -Can you tie them in a knot? -Can you tie them in a bow?" -Tits and teeth flapping in the wind. -are those slippers on your chest😂😂 -The cats not the biggest darkest hairiest pussy in the room. -Put the filters down 😭 -Your pics smell like tomato sauce and lack of intimate hygiene. -If you don’t get a better bra they’re gonna be so low when you’re elderly-people will think they’re NUTS. -I always thought photos of Bigfoot were blurry and out of focus. God I wish I was right after seeing these. -It's a pork roast -"Between your weight and ugliness if the filters were not on, you might crash the Reddit servers" -"You’re really not that bad. If you got your teeth fixed, lost 75 lbs, and got a breast reduction you’d be a solid 6." -You need to be humbled? You'd think you would be busy bumbling fat into your bra to see what size titties you want for the day. -There is no humbling that we could do that a mirror couldn't do better. -How do you have 3 front teeth? -Can’t afford to hire Kat Dennings? Temu’s got you covered! -I bet she smell like cabbage and train smoke -One of those “great personality” types suffering from OBCD. -Humbling? What have they been telling you that you would need to be humbled from? -Even with a filter……….. -Hey. Why the long tits? -Having no K9 teeth is like being born with dentures lol -"Humbling is the feeling that any man desperate enough to sleep with you feels afterwards. Plus shame, disgust, confusion, sadness and grief." -You look like the bouncer for a suspender and bowtie convention -Undercover furry. -More filters than a coffee pot. -Gravity won the war against your tits. -These look like composite photos of every Waffle House waitress -"If you aren't already humble, this world is fucked" -Jewel called. She wants her teeth back. -The Kool-aide man is trans now? -Shouldve used the thinning filter instead. Maybe the thinning/pretty filter. -Why would you ever get to the point where you would need humbling? -Hard filters and you still look like shrek just had a chainsaw accident. -You don't need to fly to the grand Canyon just look at the space between your tits -That one front teeth is better at Michael Jackson doing the leaning -Probably not thinking this is fun anymore -holy filters ur js like my mom bro (that is an insane roast u don’t even know) -Julia Piles -Bro why’s that cat look traumatized? Was he your first boyfriend too??? 😭 -"The substitute teacher who says ""i dont know, can you?"" but gets no reaction and starts crying." -Even your cat doesn’t want to be seen with you. -On the bright side....you dont need #2 pencil holder. -You’re definitely not hot one nor the smart one. -Even your two teeth are trying to escape you…. -"It's 2 am, I'm a queue for a cab, i need a place to stay, chances are I'm going home to stroke your cat and eat takeout and you're sleeping on your own sofa" -I swear I just read about you on r/fatpeoplestories -You look like a Wookiee trying to cosplay a person. -Are you sure you want to do this? -"Beautiful, but do you have to tuck those tits into your waistband??" -The cat looks embarrassed -You look like you’re a HS teacher that tried hitting on your students but got shot down -I can smell your teeth -Shorty got the Gingervitis -Those teef give me the heeeeeby jeeeeeebys -Your teeth are different colors n shapes like a kids cereal. The prize in the box would be seeing the bottom of those tits that are staring at the floor -That cats seen some shit it can’t I see -I’ve been in prisons that are less overcrowded than her mouth -The filters are struggling with this one -Was that fourth picture taken on the bus home from the Arkansas State Prison? -Every picture having a filter over it says it all. -It doesn’t even look like the cat wants to be there -Did you get your ideas for poses from Instagram?? Or Pinterest? Or was there a Tik Tok hack for that? -You look like Merida if she grew up in a trailer park in Alabama -Your name is Darla and you're going to marry your cousin to hinerit the family roulotte -One of your teeth does the Hitler’s salute -Hey I hear the jets are looking for a new O tackle. Given your bulk and snaggle tooth…. -Looks like one of your teeth is trying to escape your head. -Grotbaga -Goro from Mortal Kombat went trans -"You need to keep -Your tongue in your mouth. Maybe get Invisalign. Please go to Victoria’s Secret and get fitted so you -Can lift what’s now it prob at your bellybutton." -"Humbling? If you’re not humbled already , may god help you." -All that filter still couldn't help this thing. -"Not one pic without a filter," -I wonder which is worse luck. The cat crossing my path or you? -Straight stalks every man in her life. -Why y’all should swallow sometimes in 9 pictures. -"Offspring of Shrek's affair with a capybara. - -Still feel bad for Fiona..." -"Girl, why you so blurry?" -Gypsy Rose dupe -You look like you wear the wrong shirts on purpose -Would you look at those pendulums! -It looks like your teeth are drunk driving -Hit the gym - yer fat -"personally, I was hoping this was just an advertisement for your OF but... yeah." -Look like you'll do anythiiinngg for your phone bill paid and a mcdonalds meal -"The path to the Death Star core is clear, Luke. Take the shot." -“Leave the Wiccan stuff to the fat chicks” they say -Looks more like baked then roast. -Your cat posted its owner is a snaggletooth. -"Ain’t nothing fun here, Its wild wild west" -And they never heard from her again.. -You looked in the mirror and one of you tooths died -Do you need humbling? -Maybe a darker filter? -Them teeth look like they can open up a can! 🔪🥫 -Sow very pretty I had to write you. Gary -Not even filters can save this one. -One would think stepping on the scale would humble you. -You look 25 with 5 kids already -Beautiful -The cat looks distressed -Big Bo peep -Lisa needs braces! -She ate that cat 😢 -Still hoping that eating becomes an Olympic sport? -Like the girl next door ate the house next door. -Long puffy nipps havin ass 🤣 -"Most porn sites ask us to confirm we are 18+ - -Yours will ask us to confirm if we're using a wide-screen monitor" -Did you go hunting with Dick Cheney? -Like fried eggs hanging off a nail. -"You might live till 40, but you might not." -Do you have 3 front teeth? -em titiesss !😭😭 -Please spare me any more pics. You look like the lady version of my ex. -Did you find your teeth in a Walmart parking lot ? -"I'm sorry,did you say something? I was distracted by your massive tits" -Why buy hair care products when you can buy pet care products -I bet you have a mini fridge beside your bed -Buck teeth looking ahhh -you have a cat for company instead of a dog for protection -Filter means… -5/10 immediately -I can't imagine you haven't been humbled before with that face and those teeth. -I bet you don't have the balls to post a picture without a filter -Titties and kitties are all you have going for you. -"Not so little Bo Peep, who ate all her sheep!" -You look like someone who enjoyed homestuck -You ever heard of a toothbrush -"Bro, your front teeth can't get along" -you are VERY familiar with tumblr dot com -Those tits must have hit you in the face so many times it permanently changed your appearance -ʏɪᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏɴᴇɪғ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ sᴇxʏ ᴍᴀɪᴅs ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ғɪ ʟɪᴄᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴜɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ғʀɪɴ ᴄᴜᴠᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴀʟ ᴍᴀɴɢᴀ -The filters don't cover the fact that you can eat a cob of corn through a chain link fence. -"Is the cat, your boyfriend?" -comment -I’ve seen future you take a sidewalk shit on 6th street in Austin. -Manic pixie dream girl minus the pixie and the dream -"Folks, we are looking at the mid evolution of a small town single alcoholic cat lady who is desperately clinging onto their youth. " -You look like a dry-aged Hayley Williams. -Slept with all high school teachers. But was home schooled. -"The ""daddy"" shirt is the closest you got to having a father, huh" -You’re so annoying and I’ve never met you. -How do you have both the thighs of a 63 year old and the fashion sense of a special ed 5th grader? -"Mom can we get paramore? - -No we have paramore at home" -You look like you've made yourself unattractive as humanly possible so that you don't have to accept personal responsibility for the failures of your relationships. -How do you have so much fat above your knees? I'm kinda impressed -You'd be cute if you dropped 5-10 mental illnesses... -10 fucking pictures? Get over yourself. -The only thing worse than your haircut is the rest of you. -Hippi Longstocking -"The plethora of things I could say but...... sad knees is the most standout, I don't know why but they just look fed up with supporting your bullshit." -Buttinski barista who offers unsolicited advice when you just want to enjoy your cappuccino. -"Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?" -This is why we don't major in women studies. -You look like this is the leanest you’ll ever be in your life -You’re so quirky and original. Yikes 😬 -Shorty gotta tattoo for every one night stand she ever had out the bar -She's in witness protection because she witnessed the murder of her fashion sense. -Which part of Portland are you homeless in? -"I would but I'm too busy filling out my ""not like the other girls"" bingo card" -Some how I know your room smells like cat piss and tree oil just from your pictures -"This girl 100% offered her tattoo artist oral for some free work, and he was like, ""Naw, cash will do.""" -I need a sit down with your father to ask if he would’ve preferred a gay son just to end this stupid debate.  -At least you have all your teeth -You’re either a graphic designer or a server at a dive bar dreaming of becoming one -You'll never have to worry about anyone spiking your drink... -Cookie cutter version of “edgy white girl” -Ok but who's the baby daddy for those pregnant knees? -If a fart had glasses. -One bag of chips balanced on your head away from being So Crazy! -You look like Ed Sheeran had a baby with Joe dirt. -If bad decisions took human form -If father issues was a person. -You look like a born again alcoholic -"Lemme guess - it's not a phase, you ""like older guys"", and somewhere on your socials is a 'if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' post or two." -For the last time r/roastme is no dating app you sad communal fleshlight -I bet you have a collection of exotic dildos -"WHY for the love of god do you have a fucking mullet? It wasn’t cute on Joe and it’s not cute on you. -Shave your head and start over" -I avoid any girl that looks like. They always stink and smell like cigarettes -"Not sure what freak accident happened to your knees, but you shouldn’t have sewn them back on yourself." -Your haircut looks dumb AF -"Whoever sold you in that haircut should give you gender identity back, then be put in a sack and beaten until nickels fall out." -aren’t you a little too old for this……? -"You are out of asylum now, can remove the coconut skin head" -All those tattoos compliment perfectly your blank canvas personality -Your hair looks like shit. Not even roasting you. Just change that shit. -You look loose -You're herpes sores spell out coexist in Braille. -"I bet you exclusively date black men and women, eventually inviting them to meet your parents, only to turn around and take them hostage, posesing their bodies with the souls of dying white people" -"Wow, I'm no expert, but I think I found the problem with all these pictures- your face is in them" -"Did Shaggy, Daphne, Fred and Scooby kick you out of the mystery machine?" -I bet she lives in the friend zone. -You look so insufferable that people would sooner guide their dad into their mom with their own mouth than listen to you talk for 5 seconds. -Tattoos and a nose ring: 2024’s basic white girl. -You look like a shoe - Hate when people have tattoos instead of a personality. -Your knees look weird -"Dresses likes shes 110, weighs in at 145." -"You can pretend you're cool and get all the tattoos you want, but the fact is you still live in Utah and work for an embroidery shop." -"You post here just to feel something that you haven’t felt since you lost all that weight. You still think you deserve to be treated like trash even though you got rid of your biggest insecurity, and now you’re coping through some kind of public do-your-worst stunt from virgins on the internet. - -Nothing on the physical front, I’d fall in love with you immediately" -Spends thousands on tattoos but $5 on a haircut. -"Its like you are trying really hard to be cool..but everything you decided to latch on to...shrek, the tats etc wasnt cool" -"If every girl who said ""I'm not like other girls"" was rolled into one." -I hate you -You literally have no unique qualities. You are every Instagram fake goth girl. -If a pointless arts degree was a person. -Everyone you know is exhausted. -You look like you spit in your own mouth. -I was gonna roast but then I saw the shrek fit so I get a pass you Halloween looking mf 😭 -You think you’re more interesting than you actually are. -This young boy does not have a job I know that much -"Getting more tattoos doesn't make you more interesting, it just raises more flags for people familiar with personality disorders" -You look like you will realise you are a lesbian after getting married and having 2 kids -You are perfect example how kids turn out like when they are not loved by their parents. -You’re not unique -Never seen muffin tops over someone's knees before. -If Utah was a person -I can hear your cheese grating voice from my phone. -You look like a dirty street cone that become a human -If “disappointing my parents” was a picture -"Nothing to roast, so let’s grab a glass and toast this beautiful woman!" -One more tattoo will fix her -"You look like the number 1 biggest cause of erectile dysfunction. You look like ed sheerans butt ugly sister. A junkie wouldnt even fuck you for a lifetime supply of free heroin. Do you mind if i save a copy of your picture, as a cure for anytime i get an awkward boner." -"A 42 year old cosplaying a teenager, how original" -" How about I honey roast you? You are so pretty, I love your glasses, I can tell you are an artist, you give off dependable energy, and a really good friend!" -"Trying way, way, WAY too hard and still manages to make every redhead, even Kathy Griffin the sewer gargoyle, look hotter than her. - -My redhead kink is dead." -Shorty got a tattoo for every cat she owns -"Mid journey results if you ask for ""women to stay away from""." -You look like your like to be choked but cry when you get yelled at -4B member by default. -And that's why the democrats lost -You are EXACTLY like other girls -Your face says “fuck it” and your hair says “I did”. -Your skin looks like the men's room wall at a bad gas station -"No need for the Daddy-shirt, we can tell by your looks that you are the girl with daddy-issues." -A 40 yr old should not dress like a 14 yr old anime cartoon -World ugliest knees award goes to you ☝️ -"The only thing you need held back is your mullet whilst you spew up bottom shelf fortified wine lamenting failed careers in Art, Dance and Onlyfans. - -Rest assured, you won’t get vomit on your fringe" -"You obviously cut your own hair, but do you need to do it drunk?" -The granola and body odor is strong with this one. -Which way are you transitioning? -Are you a bull -If you didn't have a nose ring I would send you a creepy PM. Your loss. -Sorry I don’t roast people without a soul -Titties so small you get tattooed cleavage. -Take a guess: what does she have more of? Tattoos or anti depressants? -You looked like an Alzheimer’s drawing of the lead singer of paramore -Just pay for the damn haircut. All of your friends are being polite about your hair styling ‘talent’. -Yo Joe dirt called he wants his mullet back -You look like if Velma was just f**king Scooby Doo in the back of the Mystery Mobile the whole time. -You look like flash art at a tattoo shop… or Marshalls. -Chappell Gnome -Like you’re attractive but you look like Fiona from shrek but at night -"Got the hairdo of a mannequin, And the skin color of a dead person. Nice cosplay." -Roasting myself with this one. You look exactly like the type of strumpet I would have let ruin my life 10 years ago. -That is a guy with gross looking knees -Your hands chest tattoo looks like they're spreading their cheeks open. I'm guessing that's a heart shaped butt plug tattooed on your chest? -How did you get time off from being JD Vance’s sleep paralysis demon? -Several bass players’ least favorite ex -"You look like you cry in sex, but get angry when people stop" -When you order Paramore's Hayley Williams on Temu ... -You look like someone made a lot of doodles on a pad while talking on the phone but forgot to throw it out and now it came to life to roam the world as insignificance personified -Wannabe Haley Williams -This one’s a day walker. -"So, just want to ask the burning question for everyone...what IS at the end of a rainbow?" -You look like a Hippie Wednesday Adams. -"I can’t tell what you have more of, tattoos or mental health problems." -"You look like you watched scott pilgrim as a kid and decided ramona flowers was gonna be your personality from now on. - -You look like you flirt with all your male friends, yet you only let 40+ year olds, chicks and black dudes hit. - -You look like you gave someone a blowie in the parking lot and/or toilet of a wendys more than once. - -I could go on, but I won't. Instead, let me conclude with this: your dad would be ashamed of you, were he still in the picture." -Paranope -"We get it, you really think you’d find your people if you just moved to Portland" -Shrek runs away from your eyebrowns -"In the first picture, you kinda look like Vector, the villain from Despicable Me" -You look like the Sims character they all hate but you do nice things for them. #Roasted -Frodo ? -Never saw a bowl she didn't think would make a good haircut -You could probably fix me -Employee of the month 25 years running at Hot Topic. -You're totally not cute and cool as hell. Pfft. -"Cause tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again don’t make me change my mind 😩" -Dig the Shrek shirt. -You look like Joe Dirts daughter -You look like you single handedly could gentrify an entire neighborhood -Florence lacks a washing machine -Going through life while identifying as an abused school desk has never been so fun before. -Never grew out of cutting your own hair with safety scissors -You look like if I told you I was bi you’d say “Omg me too!” because one time in middle school where you kissed a girl on a dare. -Not a roast but do you not believe in ironed clothes ? -"If you want to be roasted, just spend some time in the sun." -I thought love was only true in FAAAIRY TALES… -I’ve never seen bangs make someone look like they have a big forehead. They’re supposed to do the opposite -Trashy. No sense of fashion. -Ewww. -I never thought I would be able to smell cat piss thru a photo. -Your knees look like two blob fish having a conversation. -That’s a bowl cut mullet! wtf -Your knees. They are gross. That is all -How did you know my favourite movie was Scott Pilrgrim vs the World? -You dress like you got bullied and enjoyed it. -I think you're gorgeous 🥰 -Adorable hand full. A little wild. Love.the look and tats -You a baddie -Winnie the Poo's autistic Mother -"You look like you have Christmas lights around your bed, all year round" -"You asked so I responded - - -Why you are bad person - - -1. Your fashion taste is so out of season and out of year - - - -2. Your daddy's girl and you're happy about that you're literally dependent on other people who are your father and you're probably a spoiled brat if your daddy's girl I mean you're a complete adult and your daddy's girl come on. - - - -3. Are you trying to be at the girl from Wendy's I mean come on the hair says it - - - - -4.if the common saying about redheads was true your are not to be apart of it. You are just a Ape to society. - - - -5.... You got the point I could go on it a lot longer, but I'm getting the time of typing." -sail hatan -Rockstar keep doing you! -The sun will do it for me. -"I want to roast but when the op is like, cooler than me its real hard 😩" -"I’d marry you in a split second, that’s the roast." -I'm going to need a minute to decipher all of the tattoos. -You wanted to be a scene kid but your parents didn’t let you so you went into debt for an art degree and got a job as a barista. -I think you’re cute. -Don’t bully me I’ll cum -You're not supposed to post gnomes on here -Can’t you’re my type 😭 -"I’m not a fan of “roasting” a complete stranger. - -It feels mean and silly. - -You look pretty cool, I’ll leave it at that." -you look like squirrel -"With your complexion, I could roast you with a flashlight." -"Actually, you're my type" -You are pretty and look like a fun person! Happy Holidays! -Sorry...girls with tattoos are hot! -You’ve been scene for far too long -But uh…she looks really pretty though? Don’t think I could say anything bad about her -You look better than most. Nice eyes and an artistic appearance. You are fine and there is no need to change. -"I think you are pretty cute(2 cool points for the SOAD shirt) hit m u," -"I am going to go against the crowd - I really do like the last photo. It feels like the only one where you do not pretend to be someone else (someone of different age or popularity) - and I like it, even though you look tired there. - -In overall the photos combined, it feeld like you hide your true yourself behind a mascarra of ""cool girl"" - but my ""degree-of-judging-people-I-never-met-by-few-photos"" of Reddit university is of poor quality - so take it as it is... - -I wish you a nice Christmass, wherever you live! - -EDIT: I just realised you got so many comments you are never going to read this, but... I really like the last picture, and the roast thread is roasting you harshly" -Not a roast but that zebra blazer is next level! -"You furiously masterbate and make it awkward for your cat, who just wanted to take a nice nap." -Hard to roast someone as sexy as you 🔥 -"Here it goes: you’re cute! - -Sorry, I can’t do this…" -I cant roast you only beacuse of the shrek shirt -You look like one of those girls that conservative parents are fearful that their daughter will make friends with. -I like your hair and tattoos. I am heavily tattooed Myself. -"Sadly, there is only the neck and face left to cover in tattoos. Fortunately, there is only the neck and face left to cover in tattoos." -I refuse to pick on a ginger with a llyod christmas mullet haircut -Grandma!! -"Look at you all blue skies and sunny mornings, enjoying your life. I think that’s cute. - -I’m sure your cats will continue to enjoy your vibe until they eat your eyes out one day." -"Somehow, you look more like Fiona. In ogre form." -Your knees have that “weak chin” look -Has to pay her OF subscribers to stick around -Tell me you are a depressed wokie without telling me you are a depressed wokie. -You've got a haircut like you lost a bet. -"Not enough attention from parents, must be a Weasley" -Just a large black coffee please -6 days out of rehab and detox. Sponsored by hot topic and your local thrift store. Smells of patchouli oil and bad tattoos -Millennial asf bro what the fuck:(((( -"I don't know which number is more: the number of medications you're on, or how many ex-girlfriends have restraining orders against you." -"Have you considered chemotherapy? -Y'know... To cure being a ginger." -"Oh look, an ashtray gained sentience and created a Reddit account." -"You like if wendy did drugs instead of selling value meals - -Do you take that suffering mental health ring out your nose before doing lines? - -Whatever it is...it's your daddy's fault right? - -This pucture smells of enlightened pussy sweat." -100% what I've taught my boys to stay away from -You buy out plan b at your local cvs everytime it’s in stock -It’s like looking at the worst conversation you’ll ever have -Garth from Waynes World turned trans? -You're what a yeast infection would look like if it had a human avatar. I bet she smells like ear cheese and sweaty feet. -There's nothing I can say that your homecut fringe doesn't already scream about you! -"More red flags than a Chinese embassy. Steer well clear, fellas. - -This one screams, ""I'm offended by absolutely everything""" -"Your half smile makes you look like youre battling a turtle head, and youre not winning" -Got slut written all over you -When mediocre becomes good enough. -Your therapist must love you. $$$$$$$. -I like how the first image correctly rates you -Ah yes the former fat chick who lost weight and gets a tattoo every time she plays hide the penis with a black man. -"No amount of ink or shit in your face will convince anyone, including yourself, that you aren't just another dull af, middle class, suburbanite white person." -You look like Lena Dunham had sex with Where’s Waldo you freak. -"It's my duty to inform you that your ""before"" photos are less cringe" -"You look like Portland, I’m sure you smell worse." -"I can smell the toasted marshmallow vape from here. Also you've got a yeast infection, the dough has gone sour" -You look you'd be turned on my the comments on this post. -"You don't need roasting, you roasted yourself already." -The scene phase ended 10 years ago -You’re so unattractive that you ruin your own tattoos -Ruined the music scene in your hometown because you started false accusations about all the bands cause you wanted to be cool -"If ""annoying voice"" were a person" -"How do you have two of the worst hairstyles off all time at once? Bowl cut and a mullet - -Edit: also youre built like a pez dispenser" -I bet u always have a reason why u didn't shower or use deodorant. -You are ugly and I hate you -Too distracted by glorious Shrek shirt -You look like you would come from the Weasely family -You remind me of the drawer where I put my cum filled Kleenex every night -You are looking like a cringe toy nobody would like to play with -O... -Meh. -Nail polish clashes with the sticker. -Fake ginger except for the bo -"You look like the only entry on your resumé is for ""mattress actress""." -You look like you're probably the woman currently ranting about Chivalry in /askmen. -You look like a transitioning cum sock that smells of desperation and cat piss. -It’s cool how your eyebrows are painted on… wait -Those eyebrows look so manicured. But at the hands of a psychopath. -Goes to public areas to scream about stuff that doesn’t affect you but it’s mostly because you get zero attention. -If a 40 year-old soviet minefield on the outskirts of an Afghani village had a personality. -You get the sniffles on a stuffy day -"I used to love it when you'd come over and bug the shit out of Jamie and Vicki, until one of them would insult you. The Mr. Lawson would send you home." -I different picture for each of your personalities. -You look like a mentally unstable wreck that needs help. -"She should be an actress for Prozac, Haldol, & Lithium commercials. It's definitely will be apart her life her tattoos and hpv." -Did you post on here because you got tired of being offended for other people and wanted to try it out for yourself? -You look like things are never your fault. -Eŵww burn it with fire -You are the Howard Wolowitz of women. -L -"The standard tramp stamp chest tattoo, that screams "" i have no fucking individuality""" -You look like your dick stank -Taking a shower should be your new year resolution. -All i see is 2 Knee babies with water on the brain -Poor -Her 6 children have 9 different fathers. -comment -"Enjoy your youth, as you’ve got about 20 minutes of it left before you go full babushka. Russian women age like a tub of cottage cheese left behind a radiator." -"If it were legal in Russia, I feel like you'd identify as an alter boy." -"You’re so Russian, red flags are everywhere." -"In Soviet Russia, gender bends you" -Didn’t know having a bad hair day was actually a style -you can get one like this in the mail -"Russian authorities started Putin your picture on army recruiting posters…. “If you don’t go die for mother Russia, you can date this woman.” - -Recruits went up 1,000%." -Ukrainians are better at roasting Russians -at least looking like that helps you to avoid being trafficked. -When you order a mail order bride off Temu. -"Your city was just called ""Mos"" until you arrived" -"Have the 500k dead and wounded improved your dating chances?  - - -Or do potential suitors still run to the nearest recruitment office?" -The fake glasses are your most interesting feature -The harry potter glasses suit you because you look like a 12 year old boy who's lived in a cupboard under the stairs their whole life -Ain't nobody trying to Putin their potato in your borscht -"So when your country implodes, will you become a mail order husband?" -You have the haircut of every fuckboy here in America -No wonder so many Russians have chosen to remain “permanently” in Ukraine if this is what they have to go back to. 🤢 -You have done to fashion what Voldemort did to Cedric Diggory. -"If the boys are reminded what they’re fighting for, no wonder Ukraines kicking ass." -No wonder why Ukraine is fighting so hard to keep you out. -From Russia with Ugh. -You probably have the personality of the cold war. -"Good idea! - -Looking like and dressing like Harry Potter might actually help get you an American husband quicker 🤔." -"Feeling cute, might invade Alaska IDK" -"how many dissidents have you ""witnessed"" falling off balconies?" -Isn't being from Russia punishment enough? -"Russia Doesn't let they/them use pronouns, but I/me wants you/it to know we/us see you/it for who you/it are young man/boy/pig" - It looks like you asked AI to combine pictures of Harry Potter and Hermione. -I thought you were a boy -I can’t tell if you’re male or female…or both. -Wouldn’t your time on Reddit be more productively spent claiming you’re a housewife from Illinois who “voted for the Democrats my whole life but just recently realized Trump is the best candidate”? -"We don't need to roast you... - - -...the Ukrainians will do that perfectly fine on their own." -You’d be much more attractive as a Ukrainian -Roast you? Nah leave that to Ukraine. -That forehead could handle a couple MiGs -15 year olds have to wear grandma’s glasses to avoid conscription?! -"I heard the Chicks in Moscow are hot, let's ask this dude. Excuse me sir? Stop angling your chin to cover that massive adams apple." -Save some forehead for the rest of us -_- -russian (cross)dressing -You put the cow in Moscow -Where is your stolen Ukrainian child? -"No need to roast you, Ukrain will soon" -Novichok with a cock -"Hair like moss, shirt like cow." -Your jokes in Ghostbusters were all shitty. -You look like your pronouns are it/that -Your femboi boyfriend is rotting in a field in Ukraine. -"Putin been puttin sputin at dat mouth, now go make baby." -Your country would execute you if they knew you had a penis -What was your name before the sex change operation? -Did you leave because they don't allow Trans people? -"Like a chicken Kiev, you look promising, but when opened up you’re just dry and disappointing with an off putting garlic odour." -"Russia isn't actually invading Ukraine, they are just trying to escape you." -Just say something positive about Ukraine and you can roast yourself!! -You look heavily lesbian -You look like you changed sex to avoid getting drafted -"Whichever way you’re transitioning, it’s going great." -u look like if 80s nerd girl from a movie was a person. -Get ready to be drafted into Ukraine (I assume you are a gay guy) -Username checks out in correlation with country. -You look like Pinocchio from Lies of P. -I don’t have to roast you. The Ukrainians are doing that well enough on their own. -How can we? You already did such a great job roasting yourself with your title. -Are you turning your chin down to hide your Adam’s apple? -Im from Iran and your situation with your country is as bad as mine -Quit hiding your Adam’s Apple. We all know. -Does your dad miss having any sons? -Sing Berzerker. Boys think sexy. -"If you took off your glasses, how many smaller pairs of glasses would be behind them...?" -Ain't nobody Putin their dick in that! -Did you dress as a woman to avoid the draft? -Privet Babushka -"Better watch out, Ukraine might mistake your forehead for aircraft carrier and sink it" -"Young man, shouldn’t you be at the front??!" -Roast you with a nuke -"OP, if you haven't figured out why everyone says you look like a boy, it's because your Adam's apple area is obstructed in every shot. We're on to you, Tyler." -"If you go home with someone and they have the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall, that's a big red flag." -Some guy is going to be really pissed when you show up in the mail -"Nice try Ivan, you can't dodge the draft by putting on some lipstick. We can tell you're a conscript age male." -Isn’t the stereotype for Russian women to be attractive blondes with big tits? Yet you possess none of these features. -This is what Russian women look like? No wonder Russian men tried to go fuck Ukraine instead. -"If you're a girl, 7, and if your a guy, 6.5 😭" -Just trying to promote her OnlyComrades -Don't worry Ukraine will roast you soon -"I don't have to, in few years you will be roasting from HIMARS" -You look like Harry Potter if he drank vodka all the time -"Гёрл, ты супер!" -Looks like the headteacher from school of rock. -"Why have us roast you, when your government literally does it already?" -She looks like the younger sister in every early 2000s and 90s film -Remember the Bolshevik revolution -You left Russia just to be able to post these pictures? Someone call the gulag! -We can now put the myth that *Russian women are gorgeous* to bed forever. -How did you feel when you found out you also were stolen from your home country of France? -Looks like you're ready to do some ghost busting. -"Not sure what the deal is with Russians and black and white horizontal lines, but if you want to get roasted, go to Ukraine." -Lesbian Harry Potter? -A bit nerdy but I'd still be Putin it into you. -"All your eligible men are either dead, severely maimed or disabled. " -This girl is SUPER CUTE…pardon me fellas get out of my way please -Look like a trans harry potter. -Nice try Lady Boy. Everyone knows you transitioned only becouse of conscription. -Welcome to the clearance section of mail order brides -I’d roast her but I’m sure her brother was roasted by the Ukrainians plenty. -"I don't need to roast you. -If your government keeps f*cking around, NATO nukes will do that for me" -You were a guy two months ago but not wanting to die in Ukraine makes people do crazy shit. -Sup dude -Robin + 11 from stranger things = 😳🤩 -I don't see any difference between the size of Russia and ur forehead -What do you charge as a mail order bride -"You look like the ""girls"" you find at russian bars in bangkok" -Did the sanctions against Russia impact the mail order bride industry? -"It'd be a shame to waste energy roasting you now, when the civilized world is already queuing up to do the job for me..." -You should be Russian to get prettier because you look like a lady boy -Get out of Georgia. -I bet you’re too busy teaching your kids to play piano “with finger chop knife” -"Nyet! Not to roasting, just to you in general." -Exposed bra straps are back in fashion? I'm sure the rest of the girls in the trailer park are equally excited! -Dialing in the HIMARS. -"I guess it’s true Russia doesn’t have functioning toilets, look at this pile of shit on the street." -I honestly didn't know you were allowed to look like this as a woman in Russia :( -"Try to get a good blast of radiation when we inevitably nuke your city, it’ll improve your appearance" -Why should we bother with the effort? Whatever VPN you used to access Reddit has been shut down by the government before you could see any comments. -I thought trans were banned in Russia -"Aren’t you afraid of „heroes” released from prison come back to your hometown? -The ones that won’t get to the meatgrinder? -Because you are for sure less though than Ukrainian girls" -Why do you guys keep supporting Putin? -You look like the type to immigrate then immediately call every thing shit for not being like where you came from -We have our own communists. -Niet suka -Ukraine -"Ты постареешь, как любая другая русская женщина." -Your face is shaped like a spade shovel. -You Russian bride wanna be. -"I guess you’re looking for a date, I understand there’s a shortage of men where you are." -Nope. Not getting shot. -You look like you seduce men for their kidneys -you look like chicken little no one is going to want to putin it you -Dude you were great in Goldeneye! -Typical Russian spies are much better looking! -Couldn’t make it as a mail order bride? Pitty… -You probably say eww to the word “penis” -Do you make sexy time I’m hot tub with face tattooed dudes in track suits -russian bot -Even the desperate men will return to sender this mail order bride -If lesbian was a person we found it -In Russia you don’t roast them they roast you -You’re the only woman who doesn’t look attractive with glasses on -Forever answering the question: Fantastic Hoes and Where to find them? -Ukraine -You look like a protester blocking the road for people trying to get home. -Obviously the Cold War didn’t end in 1989. I bet that pu*** makes the Rasputitsa seem like a day at the beach. -Can’t beat a small country looking ass -Slava Ukraini -Weren’t you in the last ghostbusters movie? -Mail order bride from Temu -"From Russia, With Herpes." -So this is what you do when you’re not bustin ghosts with Dan Aykroyd? -A Moscow mule if ever I’ve seen one -"""Felt cute - might get abducted by the KGB later."" - you after this post probably" -"In Russia, ugly roasts you." -The airline ticket your 77-year-old ex-husband bought to send you back is made out to VIDANYA/D -Like leanbeefpetty wothout muscles -Shoe meet shoelace -I like the pic of your face almost completely covered with the plastic bag. Just pull it all the way down next time. -Discount mail order -Danish girl unlike russian girl -"Ur second pic, you look like what Harry Potter would have ended up looking like if he had stayed dating Parvati after the Yule ball. Ur last, you just look like a man." -"Your armpits are shaved, im genuinely surprised." -Taylor Slow -"You’re trying very hard, but you’re still not quite yet passable as a girl." -Sucks to be you. -Your breasts look like their communist... -War criminal -in russia you are female. in rest of world you are male. in the bedroom you scare off all partners. -You look like the kind of girl that would enjoy receiving enhanced interrogation techniques. -"Unsurprised every picture is of you covering your Adams Apple in some way. You may have fooled the russian military, but you can’t fool us" -How many pro-Trump X accounts do you manage? -"If you ever want to do something fun, you could totally do a movies in the park with a projector and your forehead one night." -Idk about a cow but im sure there is a mossypussy somewhere there is a joke there someone will finish it I’m sure. I didn’t know Russia made liberal feminists that mirror the American ones. -Nyet! Return to sender on this mail-order bride. -She likes salads but hates Russian dressing 🤣 -"Not even for that sack of turnips, darlin'." -You put the 'Cow' in Moscow. -"“Baby, imma do you like Ukraine.”" -Male Order Bride -Hermione from Russia -"J.K. Rowling's less know book, *Helga Potter and the Never Ending Insecurities*." -"Not Russian, because you're head is not square." -It's a good thing that you have two distractions -You indeed have a certain sadness to your appearance that can only be indicative of Muscavites. -I’ve got something to Putin you -Are you trying to undermine your stepmom’s US presidential campaign by saying you’re Russian? -"When you gonna let a 55 year old American ""order you?"" And is the box you come in comfortable?" -Encanto is from South America -You were so good as the principal in School of Rock. Tell Jack Black I said wassup. -Russian Bride: Temu edition -"You are a woman in the same way your ""drawings"" are ""art""." -"Whew, I was worried that yoor after my mahney." -You must get ghosted a lot -Nothing to roast. Just an average Russian baddie. -You look like more than one persons 13th reason -You look like a recruit from the Russian version of the Shire. -I loved you in Uncle Buck! -"Do you need a green card? Seriously, though." -You're Russian. -Too weak to be from mother Russia -"kinda smiled for the big joongas but got to the 4th pic, ...bro where tf do they start??" -Da da da…..is what you scream when you are taking a sausage in the buttski! -You look like you smell like shelter soap!! -Window approaching. -"I would, but I’d be afraid of getting hacked as retribution." -"""Kevin, come upstairs! Your mail order is here!""" -McKenna Disgrace -"Putin sent Mattel a picture of you when he proposed a Genocide Barbie - -*Prison for journalists sold separately" -"Could not make it as a man in Russia, so you tried to make it as a woman in the US?" -Hated you in the new Ghostbusters movies. -Whoever ordered this mail ordered bride needs a refund… -" -* -* -Love your cyka blyat culture, are you here to retake Alaska for Mother Russia?" -Harry Potter? -"AI thirst traps have a long way to go, comrade." -Lipstick lesbian Peggy Hill -You look like the poster child for the communist manifesto -Mail order brides are not what they used to be. -You look like you go to restaurants all across America and complain about getting misgendered -Did you find the lost city of Atlantis? -"🌹🎶why would I roast you?🍷🍾. -Russians are good whores 👍" -Donald Trumps next 12 year old. -"Never in 1,000,000 years did I think Russia could engineer and manufacture something as sophisticated, sturdy, and functional as that bra. That is a hell of a feat lifting them that far." -Russia is in Moscow? -He looks like he’s trying to cosplay 11 from stranger things. -You look more Transylvanian than Russian. -"I'm not going to amuse you by Stalin people's lives with incoherent mumbo jumbo. - -I'm definitely not Putin people through that" -90 minute fiance -harry potter had a sex change. Ginny Weasley is going to get a munching and a magic wand in her ass. -what russia is doing to the men ukraine has nothing on what you’re doing to the men of russia -No. You're too cuteemote:free\_emotes\_pack:heart\_eyes -вот эта соска)))))))))))) -Are you that autistic kid from the new ghostbusters movie? -Get drafted -Apparently not all Russian women are beautiful -No amount of makeup can hide that oppression -You were great in the new Ghostbusters movie -Yall confusing me so is this a girl ? -You look like harry potter after a transition -Why do you have time to post here? Putler needs soldiers. So go and make some boys. -"Are jean jackets still popular? - -Asking for a friend…" -Look like a dude disguised as a woman lol but someone else said that too before I seen the comments so that’s crazy 💀💀 -Your Onlyfans has no subscribers. Umm do you happen to have one asking for a friend? -I can’t roast this pretty person 😭 -"Art series titled: ""Hairstyles from a war-torn country""" -There’s a passing resemblance to Martin Herlihy of Please Don't Destroy (SNL). -You belong in the men’s restroom -Putin? More like Pukin' -In Putin a GoFundMe account together so you can finish your operation. -"We don't need to roast you, Ukraine is already trying" -Bra straps go inside….. -You look like you believe the official Russian election results -A shame you’ll never be able to say that with pride -You look like you ugly-shame people a lot. -Stalin called… he wants his son back -Do you even understand what we're sayings? -Russian women are waiting to talk to me - and this is one of them -You look like McKenna Grace in Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. -MOTHERLAND!! sounds like you’re yelling mow the lawn! Just sayin -"Don’t listen to them. If you were a Russian bride, I’d buy you." -comment -You must work the day shift -"You should try getting a tattoo, I bet that would fix things." -Nice to see that you used your chest as a canvas since it was a blank space anyway. -"You didnt have to say you’re a stripper, we all knew before you told us" -You have to utter her name 3 times to get her on the stage -She's the reason guys decide to leave the strip club and go back to their wives to apologize. -The drummer for Def Leppard is sawing off his other arm just so he doesn't make more music to take your clothes off to -Put this $20 between your tits....ope nevermind -You look like you learn a new letter of the alphabet every time you get hepatitis -Only thing easier than Dad jokes is you. -"Smells like Victoria’s Secret perfume, desperation, and shame" -"A carpenter’s dream, flat as a board, easy to pound on, easy to screw" -"The phrase ""i can fix her"" reached its limit with this one" -"When I pay for a stripper, I don’t want to be reading a comic book at the same time!" -You don't want daddy issue jokes because they are too easy or too real? But honestly I don't think being on drugs and taking your clothes off in a waffle house counts as stripping. -I would pay you to keep your clothes on. -I've seen less red flags at a communism rally. -"The only thing missing from your pics is the ""MISSING"" caption" -A woman machine gun kelly -"“No daddy issue jokes. They’re too easy.” This is like OJ saying, “No murder jokes, wife jokes, glove jokes, knife jokes, Bronco jokes, football jokes, golf jokes. They’re too easy.” - -The worst part is that she thinks it’s because she’s a stripper, like she’s on the same level as most strippers. You make other strippers look like Malia and Sasha. And before you come say, “I broke your rule,” this ain’t a daddy joke. This is all about you. You’ve got the self-awareness of a toaster. I’m saying that literally. I HAVE A SMART TOASTER!!! - -If you were the baseline AI needed to surpass to achieve singularity, we would be one toaster software update away from Skynet, and that gap is only going to get bigger. My toaster will still be making me delicious, crunchy, buttery toast after you’re forced into retirement in five years due to meth breath and lack of enthusiasm. - -Unfortunately for you, someday in the distant (maybe not so distant) future, the company that makes my toaster will release an attachment enabling it to give an excellent, full-throated blowjob that feels identical to a real woman while waiting for your morning sourdough. That’s your judgment day. - -One by one, your ex-clients from the champagne rooms and motels will get in line to get themselves one of these toasters, and they will forget about that one night they got a pretty decent blowjob for $10 from a stripper. Each time that happens, you will slowly disappear. - -Until one day, there’s only one man left keeping the memory of you from being deleted from the universe. Want to take a guess as to who it is? Nvm no time, it’s your dear old dad. Your easiest dad joke of them all. He finally got out of prison long enough to save up the money to get that toaster. - -He fires it up, and as it starts sucking, he thinks back to one of your special daddy, daughter moments, but even though there’s so many, he’s having trouble picturing your face. As the last grains of your existence begin to fall through the hourglass. like a mirage…. - -Actually Fuck it this is too long and honestly my dick went soft staring at your body paragraphs back when I realized it’s the body of the drummer from blink-182. Plus I’m hungry. I’m gonna make some toast. - -He cums in under one minute and yeets any trace you ever existed from the universe. Like you were never here. Because of a blowjob attachment….. on a toaster - -You’re right about one thing. That was way too easy. I feel like I was creative though. - -Oh, the toaster just went off… - -OK, have fun!!!! byeeeee!!!!! 💋💋" -"Daddy's little **onion**, stripping just reveals further layers of disappointment" -Give me my dollar back -How can I smell your yeast infection through my phone -"If a photograph had a smell, yours would smell like alcohol and drug addiction, domestic violence, crushing consumer debt, and late term abortion." -You look like a coloring book someone got bored with and didn’t finish. -I have seen bathrooms with better ink ... -I'm genuinely sorry for anyone that goes out to see a stripper and instead gets stuck seeing your childish crayon-hide onstage. -"This is why you don't go to tattoo parties at your friends house. - -Get your tattoos done by a professional so you don't end up looking like a 5 year old's colouring book" -Don’t confuse applause for the clap -You clear out sniffers row every time you get onstage. -Dollar Store Kat Von D -Where's the betting pool for when your OF link drops? I need a new car 🤷‍♂️ -"I hoped you saved your pennies, shows almost over." -Her next tattoo will be a pricing menu on her back. -You look like you let methheads raw dog it. -"the look of ""everything is easy with me except for getting along""" -Your personality looks like what an ingrown toe nail feels like. -Is it the dad issue jokes that are too easy though????? -Look like the only reason you have that many tattoos is to cover those scars made to try and get attention -"Looks like astrology and aids had a kid and they raised it on mountain dew, t.v and cigarettes" -Wiccan. In recovery. Supervised visits with your kids. -"Dancing on the diesel pump at a truck stop, I guess, technically counts. Lil Miss Lizzy Lott." -I’m sure you have a lot of rich politicians as clients with that body type -You look like you’d be sticky! -I bet you have a tattoo of a candle on your back because everyone blows it out. -She was going for Kat Von D and ended up more Kat Hep B. -"this is why I don't go to strip clubs. This is what passes for hot in these cum-soaked dives. Must be easy to strip, wearing a tube top with A-cup titties" -"Awful,so ruined" -It’s good to see a lot lizard moving up in life! -you look spiritual but just the bad ones -"You look like you started as a shot girl. Moved up to stripper when you heard about ""all the money you can make in the back"". And will soon be doing older woman porn when confronted with the idea of getting a ""real job""." -"You look like a discount version of post Malone. Instead of making hits, you’re just trying to make rent." -Ahh! The black hole with extreme gravitational pull on simps wallets. -Your stage name is probably 'Nascar' based on all those tacky logos. -"You clearly like to....Hold on, what the hell happened to your ear?!" -You look like the inside of a a painters bin bag -Are your parents paying attention yet? -How you built like the stripper pole. -"You look like every girl that's asked me "" u know where I can get some weed""." -"Bouncer: “No sex in the champagne room” -Me: “No problem”" -You look like Rogue from X-men but instead of obsorbing life force you just... nevermind you're probably absorbing life force too. ☠️ -Holy reverence. All that religious symbolism. Not a moral in sight.  -You look like the pad my autistic grandmother keeps by her phone. -All that ink is like hiring a a professional cake decorator to work on a Twinkie that got stepped on. -"Stripper aye, I need to hire your services. - -This wallpaper is a bitch to get off" -Imagine getting a half chub just to get stared at by a disapproving hello kitty tattoo. I’d walk around picking my bills back up. -I just want to say it's very brave of you to be a stripper after a double mastectomy -Even your Hello Kitty won't tongue that tuna boat... -You look like a stripper in some distopian sci fi movie. -It must be a flat earthers club -It's shitty that I have to work as hard as I do to subsidize your lifestyle. Working the morning shift at an inner city strip club isn't paying the bills besides on the 1st and the 15th. -Certainly b team -lol underfunded school desk that’s filled in by everyone -"I didn’t know 12 year olds could be strippers. It’s not your dad I’m worried about. Does your mom know you are on Reddit? People use foul language here and make dirty jokes. - -And someday, you too will reach puberty and have breasts and pubic hair. - -Nice tats btw. If I ever need directions to Cleveland I’ll pull them up on Google maps." -'shoot for the moon' you say? -That's the saddest colouring book I've ever seen. -Working as a Walmart cashier in 10 years -I’d have thought you had to have tits to be a stripper -"“I’m not lost uneducated worthless white trash, I’m Wiccan and that makes me special”. -all of your tattoos" -A stripper with no ass. Stick to retail -"A lot to unpack here, like self-hate, got diddled, probably had a kid which is what's crossed out on the arm, I would say borderline and/or bipolar, a smack of HPV to start for the STIs, dabbling in some extra services with the customers, and self-hate after doing so. - -None of that makes you a bad person, but doing the fake metal look does. I would also assume your vagina is blown out and you don't have enough shame to bleach your asshole." -"You're going to be roasted hard, by your own life choices. You'll see, in 10 years." -What can we say about you that hadn’t already been said about the Middle East? It’s bombed and depleted… -They know when you just worked a shift because the pole has a snail trail mixed with codeine.   -"When I try to think of what you will look like in old age I.... - -Oh who am I kidding, you ain't making it to old age." -It must be really hard to have to CONSTANTLY tell everyone how different and free you are and actually hate yourself so much. -Looks like you went off the rails after your moms boyfriend broke up with you. -Post Nut Clarity Malone -The aftermath of a blind kids coloring book -I had to run anti-virus software on my phone after looking at your pics. -CPS probably knows you in a first name basis -"Whatever they're paying you, I'll pay you more to keep the clothes on" -The irony of a sub-30 stripper with face tattoo and nose tackle telling people not to take the easy route. -What happens when you pay your tattoo artist in unenthusiastic blowjobs -"You look like the kind of person who posts ""making money moves"" while youre standing in line to donate plasma" -Did a graphic novel throw up on you? -Oh Neat! I didn't know they did color by number tattoos -I’m guessing the job title “stripper” is the only one you could get with all those bull shit tattoos. -What daycare did you let tattoo your body? -28 and still trying to pay off them college loans... -You have more red flags than the Nevada test site . -Do you wonder Why they always have you working on the seafood buffet days. -Totohoe -Your skin is a canvas for those tattoos in the same way my toilet paper is a canvas for corn and what’s left of Oreos. -Sorry I can’t think of a insult dumb enough for you to understand -This is the stripper i avoid eye contact with when she’s walking around asking guys for dances..And i just know she’s going to bother me while i’m waiting for the big tit girl to come around -You're supposed to put graffiti on the train. Not let the train put graffiti on you. -At least you don’t have to spend your hard earned tips on a mammogram. -Dad got custody... -Go fund me: meth edition -You should tattoo a QR code to a list of things you will do for meth. -"""We have strippers at home """ -I bet the lunchtime buffet roast beef looks better than your 🐱 -If Hep C had an avatar. -She looks easier than daddy issue jokes -I’ll tip you to put on clothes -It must be like a magic show every time you dissappear behind the pole -Why the fuck did you get a tattoo of your nose ring on your forehead -"You definitely got half of those tattoos on coke! You’ve got nothing going for you. Your life revolves around drugs and d!ck, nothing meaningful. You get high to live in the moment , you’re probably always high on something. I’m sorry your life went down that path it has. So much time wasted on nothing" -More ink than titties -You look like a future mother of 3 really annoying suburban children and your husband will be a below average nerd who’s painfully mediocre in bed -You mean comic strip. -Looks like someone lives with a tattoo apprentice -"I am sure there are people who love you deeply.... for now. - Eventually they will learn to see you as you see yourself. Empty, useless and hating yourself deep down. -They will leave you too. -You know you deserve it." -Only thing decent in these photos is the ***Beretta*** hat. -"That second picture almost gives it away for free, and I still don’t want it…" -Can I pay you not to strip? -I'd pay good money to have you put your clothes back on. 🤢🤮 -"Only stripper I know that gets tipped with cigarettes and pregnancy test, and paid bonus in electric tape" -That poor deer has to smell your coochie for the rest of his life. -"If beauty is only skin deep, you done fucked up." -"If you tested the pole after she finished, you'd find traces of fentanyl." -Only stripper that’s forced to throw money back at customers. -The jokes aren't the easiest thing in this post.  -RIP your inbox -You look like a high school desk -I was hoping ex-stripper so I wouldnt have a chance at see you naked. -Let me guess….2 kids and you and the fathers aren’t together anymore? -Next in the stage welcome TiddyDo…. Cause her belly sticks out farther than her titties do -You look like the poster girl for suboxone and supervised cps visits. No wonder strip club men love you. -I'd be willing to bet this strip club has a Dollar General in close proximity. -I’ll give you $20 to put your clothes back on -Isn't it funny after all the female empowerment and equal rights that women still retreat to the sex trade to make a living -"Your signature strip song must be ""That Smell.""" -"I can't read what that tattoo on your thigh says, but I'm sure it's something along the lines of ""Please pay attention to me. I have no self-worth.""" -The only strip club that honors Kmart coupons -I can smell stale Newports and soggy butthole thru the screen -What my notepad looks like after a boring meeting -"When you get your yearly visitation with your children, do you try to teach them their hepatitis ABCs?" -I've seen toilet graffiti at the local Kroger have better art than what's on your body -Coming to the stage….. Methony Rox -"Daddy issue jokes may be easy, but probably not as easy as you." -"Definitely fucks on the first date, especially if I'm her cousin!" -Speaking of easy.... -Who the fuck would pay to see you strip? -She has portland stripper literally written all over her -feel like i should tip u with percocet & oxy -comment -You look like your hand falls asleep when you jerk off. -You look like you pretend to read books -"You can’t call getting drunk off of 2 Whiteclaws every weekend since you were 18 alcoholism, you dork." -I’m certain I would’ve liked you better when you weren’t sober -So you're telling us you dress like that sober? -"Holy shit, it's Daniel Sadcliffe!" -When lesbians sober up -I bet your hair has its own pronouns. -If I looked like you I’d keep drinking. Nobody respects a quitter. -You look like a valet for The Cheesecake Factory -Were you gay before or after getting sober? You look like if a Zumiez employee lost their job at Guitar Center for smelling the drum seats -Your cum doesn’t count as alcohol bro -Is this pic from your drinking days when you didn’t care what you wore or how your hair looked? -"I didn’t think it was possible, but I can see in your eyes you definitely sucked a dick for some Jack Daniels" -You look like I need a drink. -You look like the member of an 80s hair-metal band that's actually gay. -White Claws been out 12 years? No way. -This is proof alcoholism can make a young woman ugly... -We have Geddy Lee at home -"You look like the kid on the milk carton, went missing then got found, and then got molested." -sorry but you seem like a nice girl and don't deserve to be roasted -It's unfortunate alcohol didn't win the battle. -Edward Blowmen -You look like Yanni's illegitimate son. Which would explain the drinking. -I bet you were fun to hang out with when you were drunk and didn’t wear flowers 🤦🏼‍♂️ -Nonbinary Fabio -#Imthemanecharacter -Congrats on giving up the booze. But dear lord it’s past time to give up that hair. -You must have bought that shirt when you were shit faced. Wtf. I hope it came with a tube of KY and a pocket puss… only way you’ll get any wearing it. -"big hair, small head, smaller brain, smallest dick" -Those donkey punches from your boyfriend must really hurt now. -Jokes aside it’s my one year sober today and I wanna say congratulations. Good man. -Proud of you! (I’m terrible at this) -Imagine wasting 12 years fighting alcoholism when the real reason you’re a piece of shit could be fixed with a 20 min haircut -Hey man that’s awesome I was an alcoholic till I was 30. I’m 34 now and still sober. Keep it up guy -Drinking random people's piss out of a Martini glass does not count as alcohol. -Does your sister know you have her blouse? -Your trans I just can't tell which way you are going. Congrats! -I thought Zigfreid and Roy were dead? -Good call keeping your hair long to hide those big a$$ ears. Bad call flipping your hair to one side for the picture. -"Did you pass out, and wake up believing it’s 1983?" -"Two things that disagree with you when you touch it, women and alcohol." -"Congratulations, you removed the one interesting thing about you." -The poster child to keep drinking. -"This guy doesn’t fall off the wagon, they kick him off of it." -You bought that shirt while you were sober? -What were you drinking? Volumising conditioner? -But how long have you been a woman? -"no, you’re so pretty" -That shirt is your entire identity. -Bob Faget -"I know you smashed back a two-four (24 beers) every once and a while, and usually had like 6 minimum every other day. - -I just can't tell if you're the kind of guy who swaps the -Regular beer labels onto his ""Non-alcoholic bottles, (which has 0.5% alcohol)"", and calls himself an ex-alcoholic, or if he actually believes that drinking 6 bottles of 0.5% daily made him an alcoholic." -Aww im so proud of you. You loook clean and well. I dont belong on this sub lmao -"Face says “I committed to sobriety.” -Shirt says “But I’m still fun! Wooooooo!” -Everyone else says “It’s 5 o clock somewhere”" -I too would be an alcoholic for 12 years if I looked like that. -“Was an alcoholic for 12 years. I am now Vega.” -"One day if you work real hard and play your cards right, i bet that you could be junkie of the year in no time." -You weren't supposed to take being a delivery boy so seriously -30? You look like the lead singer of a minor hair metal band from the 80's -Even your liver doesn't like you. -i think my mom saw you at woodstock -Apparently you’ve had enough dick in your life that you’re ready to move on -Your glasses have big halfway house vibes. -Congrats on 30 years of alcoholism. -You misspelt rent boy on your little card there pal. -You were probably cooler as an alcoholic. -mayonnaise is non-alcoholic bro -That's a two foot comb over -"Go back to alcohol bro, whatever this is isn’t working. No shot you were worse as a drunk." -Looks like a broke Skrillex -"Looks like Fabio and Kurt Cobain's love child drank for 12 years in that closet, and said fuck it and came out wearing that shirt" -"when I saw this image I thought I was looking at a girl, then I saw the beard and shirt and thought trans, then I read the description" -You look like you play Michael Bolton while fucking. -This photo is the warning label on women's menopause vitamin bottles. -Congrats...let's go have a drink and celebrate. -Cover art for the Skrillex acoustic album. -Babe you look great if you can get rid of that facial hair you’ll be picking up guys like no tomorrow. -You spent more than 20 minutes sitting your hair just right for this roast pic... -"You started young , glad you are on the right path . Get roasted !" -Nice try! I’m not gonna be the one that says the banger that knock you off the wagon! -"Give they a break, they is transitioning." -"Quit drinking, started dicks." -You look like you can’t decide if you want to be a chemistry teacher or a hippie -Wow being a drunk turned you into a girl -Now the only shots you’re addicted to drinking are cum shots. 🍆💦 -Weird-Al choholic -Let me bend you over and pull your hair -Hairy Potter and the Blousewearer’s Scone -"What a great life resume! Was an alcoholic, now I’m 30. You must have women lined up down the block." -What conditioner do u use? -"Stealing mommy’s chocolate liqueurs isn’t being an alcoholic. Now finish your math homework. For God’s sake, you even switched the 12 and the 30." -"Roses are red -Bear's like, honey -Without alcohol -The jokes aren't nearly as funny" -How many years have you been teaching guitar out of your garage? -"That's a shame, looks like being an alcoholic was the most interesting thing about you. (But seriously, good for you and keep at it.)" -you look like an art major -Alcohol left you aging backwards. Soon you will be a baby. -"I wish I could. I’m 9 years sober myself. Sure, you’re too handsome and I would smother you by sitting on your face? 😆" -"Bro that hair is going to attract the wrong type of women, trust me I have carried that weight before.. but I’m assuming you’re gay by the shirt, so hopefully it doesn’t attract the wrong kind of man" -Congrats on 12 years sober. You're better off than anyone else here. No I can't roast you except to say I thought I saw dandruff in your hair. But at least you don't have dandruff -"I’m also a long haired, white man, who was an alcoholic for 12 years, and owns a flower shirt. - -But somehow, I managed to do it without looking like the “cool” English teacher who makes friends with the 11th grade girls until he loses his job for banging a few of em." -If Harry Potter ditched Hogwarts to suck wart covered hogs in the park. -You didn't have to tell us you had an alcohol problem. We can tell by your t-shirt -You should start drinking again -"Was? That's like saying you were gay for 12 years but now you're not because you quit fucking dudes. No dude, you're still gay just celibate." -You make that shirt look gay. -U deserve another drink..... -"Is your only character trait that you ""used to be an alcoholic.""" -"Now that you're sober, your mom wants her shirt back. - -(Congrats on the recovery, seriously)." -Congrats on your sobriety -Alcoholic and transitioning what a great double hitter -You look like a man woman hybrid -Edward Snowden in alt-rocker disguise. -You look like Elliot from Stardew Valley -L'Oréal... Because you're worthless. -He is more beautiful than both of my daughters -"Hoping you don't need to take a hair- based drug test anytime soon. - -Joking aside, congratulations on getting sober. It takes courage to walk away. Keep it up." -👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏✌️ -U look good. And Happy you’re healthy and thriving . Much love brother -I didn't know vegans could be alcoholic -I have a feeling you will be an alcoholic again after reading these comments. -"Once, there was this guy who... Really wanted validation from the internet. Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmm." -It was the first 12 years wasn’t it? -Ayee first time getting alc poisoning I was 14 and was until 5 months and 6 days ago and I’m also 30 lol -You’re not alcoholic at 18. Unless you started drinking at 10. Got divorced at 12. Lost your house and the kids by 15. Lived on the streets for a couple of months. Went to rehab at 16. Then you relapse a couple of times. It’s a whole process. -You look like you do Jiu-Jitsu and automatically think wearing a skin-tight rash guard will get you laid. -"Finally took the tinfoil hat off, now you need a haircut." -Why do you start out with a pity statement. You should start to drink again. I bet you were way more fun and interesting while shitfaced. -No hate here but that hair is incredible -Looks like ur mom was an alcoholic too -I won't roast you -"Congratulations on your sobriety! Now, cut your hair and be a real man." -That calls for a celebration 🍾 -Oh shit i fucking know you. Lmao -"250F, slow and low, light salt and pepper and a drizzle of olive oil. - -You look like the type that cries softly when you have a struggle poo. - -Then stands up to look at it with tears down your face and smiles." -Get a hair cut -I have now reverted back to alcoholism after seeing this post and acknowledging that someone like you exists -"Ah the ol ""I was an Alcoholic"" excuse for being an asshole routine! Nice" -Rico suave!!!!! Nooooooot -My mums been an alcoholic for 60 years and still has better hair. -Wanna go get a drink? -"CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT" -Quitter. -You look like a villain that develops a video game to make people want to buy his math rock albums with a tragic side-backstory of how he lost his wolf in Minecraft -Congrats on sobriety man. Proud of you. -You drink so much if you were knighted by the queen she would call you. Sir Rosis of Liver -"Literally, no one cares" -You look like someone tossed Brooke Shields and Andre Agassi into a blender -This is the midpoint of the story about the “cool youth minister” who turned out to be touching boys and girls years later. -"By the way I'm a friend of Bill. -I'm Late 30's was in the hole about 8 years HARD. at the end, w/d very very hard every 2 weeks thereabouts for 2 years. Heart attack in the VA hospital, meetings for a year before the hospital on and off. After the hospital? Well it's been almost 2 years - in sept. All solo, no mtgs, no poison. Dogs, gardening, cannabis... But the dogs .. the dogs Saved my life. - -Oh and for the first time in my life I've long hair - now halfway down my back. Weird coincidence. - -I'm reading the chapter now. I may move on to the book. - -Hang in there for the rest of today, brother. - -Hug" -Congrats. I’m not roasting. That shit deserves a fist bump a high five and keep that shit going strong -Mcgruber if he was a commie -I see stopping alcohol made you suck dicks -Dang 12 years on the bottle…..but you’ll spend your whole life questioning why you don’t like women and why you keep lying to yourself. -If they even come out with a new “Maybe drinking wasn’t so bad after all…” campaign. You could be the poster boy. -Now you’re addicted to Prell and your blow drier -Be honest how many boxes of Pocky do you have in your pantry -But it still looks like you’re an alcoholic. Are you sure? 💀 -…is a woman for 30 -Alcoholic Slash Model. And not the other way around. -If favio from the wish app had sex with favio from temu looking Ah...... -Quitters never win.. -Damn good job! Is it haircut and contacts next? -Gayolas -"Apparently Elton John is coming after you for the cum sommelier of the year award. Sorry, Sir Elton John" -Hi I saw your add for drilling holes in the stall walls in the Men's bathroom at your local Starbucks. -If I had to see this in the mirror every day I'd never quit the booze. -Now you can work on not wearing your grandma's shirts anymore & getting your feathered wolf hair cut. -"Silly glasses on, -Chestnut locks and laughter blend, -Whimsy in the wind." -"YOU DRESS LIKE THAT SOBER? In accordance with man law, article 4 dash 20. I hereby remove your right to stubble." -Good job!! 👏 Keep going -You have split ends. -That’s a nice shirt. Do they make them for men? -"Here's a guy that was an alcoholic just for the boofing. - -IWNDWYT" -Pronouns: pour/it -"You look like you're sensitive, a science teacher, rockstar, youth p#do paster, and trans, all at the same time. 🤯" -"Have you gone back to drinking normally? If not, I have some very sad news for you bro - you’re still an alcoholic. Being temporarily sober does not mean you are cured." -Bruh I’d be drinkin to with hair like that -Brunette Fabio. Lameo -Young lady facial hair isn’t a reason to drink daily… wax that shit and live your best life!! -"Well, at least you have a nice hair." -"No such thing as a former alcoholic, you dumb fuck. You’re too fucking dumb to even be a good drunk. Fuck off." -FTM Geddy Lee -"Sorry, you're pretty and have a nice flower shirt, not going to roast you." -I ain’t gonna roast that beauthair -"This is a flambé then, extra points for the 🌹 top 👏" -Gay as a meatball… -Ur shirt looks like u got it off Amazon try before u buy but u should have sent it back but instead kept it . -Description says beer guzzler but picture says cum guzzler -They tried to make you go to rehab and you said no no no -Are we not going to discuss the shirt??👚 -You look like your run sound at the Tame Impala concert (and wont shut up about Tame Impala being just ONE GUY) -You look like you have a job as a waiter at olive garden while you hope to make it big on the magician circuit -Bro you look like the main character from a Bethesda game designed to look photoshopped. -"You’re posting from rehab lobby, aren’t you?" -30 years old and my main flex is alcoholism. Roast me. -The only alcoholic I wouldn’t intervene for. -Hair isn’t a personality -Soon to be 13 years. -This guy definitely only drank Rosé. -The biggest come over I've ever seen on a 12 year old that drank for 30 years. -Your hair still has a hangover!! -I used to fuck guys like you in prison. -His fingers look like toes -Go back to drinking -If Jesus and Harry Potter had a baby. -Youre still an alcoholic. You may be sober but youll always be an alcoholic -"I'd drink too if I wore that shirt, although, I wouldn't wear it while drinking. - -Congratulations. Best thing you can quit." -Go back to alcohol. -Haircut asap. -You’re still an alcoholic; you’re just 30 -You were more fun when you were drinking -"Triple H? No, it’s Triple L for LLLoser" -"and with a mug like that, your sending every women in this thread to the bottle shop to forget what theyve seen" -"The prodigal love child of Kenny G and Steven Colbert, welcome home, son." -Dungeon Master Flash....Level 18 Dick Wizard -You’re still an alcoholic brother ✊ -I bet being sober is your entire identity -I wanted to congratulate you and wish you well but then I saw your hair. -"Nobody likes a quitter, pal." -You look like you play dungeons and dragons by yourself. -"No one is more vocal about their lives than a crossfitter,vegan or reformed drug or alcoholic on side note congrats on sobriety it’s one day at a time" -If you were sober when you bought that shirt....... -Bro was an alcoholic so long he forgot Woodstock was over -"That's a lot of words to say ""I've drank every day since I turned 18""." -I'm certain you have a comb over -Fabio wants his hair plugs back -"Haven’t cut your hair since? - -(Also congrats!)" -You posted to a subreddit called fierce flow  -Looks like you are a mean drunk! -You turned to a women -Straight-haired Kenny G! -You smell like cigarettes and failure -"You look like you should be in the band Extreme, but instead of music, they’re substitute kindergarten teachers who minored in mime." -Stay sober -Fucking quitter. -"I feel like if you got a haircut and a lab coat you could be a young looking doctor. Not a roast, just an observation." -"Congratulations, punk" - Skrillex loved you in 2011 but you look like shit dude get some vitamins -"Good job getting off the sauce. Not an easy task. You look great! - - -Oh wait, you suck!" -You sobered up and you’re going with that hairswirlthingee? -You still look like a drunk guns and roses band member -We know where the hair cut money went -Alcoholic became a hipster Stoner. -At least you had an excuse when drinking. Now you are the excuse. -You know the song went to bed at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2? You’re the 2. -My mama never raised me to be no quitter apparently she raised you to be one. Poor baby. Boo hoo I don’t wanna quit alcohol well no one gives a shit! -You were definitely on the sauce when you picked out that shirt -Happy birthday!! 🎉🎊 -Three Words...... Hippie Steve jobs -"Guess what else is damaged except your liver - -IT's your FACE." -I never knew Skrillex had a drinking problem -Straightedge CM Drunk 🥃 -"#BLACK HOLE CUM - -*The name for your dress socks.*" -I saw you live at the Acropolis! It was incredible! -"Omg I used to drink a whole 6 pack of Zima on a Saturday night! - -In the words of Dave Chappelle ""You aint no drug addict! I used to suck dick fo crack!""" -Hope your throat and stomach is healthy. Mine is bombed out. -When you promised yourself you would take a chick home from the bar and all you see is the back side of this creep as you're approaching. -Hipster Harry -Bros posting this because he needs to drink again! -"Dude had one beer when he was 18, pissed the bed, convinced himself he was an alcoholic and hasn’t had a drink since" -Your best years are behind you. -Apparently you were so smashed that you forgot to get a haircut for 12 years. -Probably should've kept drinking. -"Very difficult to know where to aim. The hair? The shirt? The gigantic man hands? - -I’m gonna need a drink before I do this." -30 ?!?? -"How do you look like Daniel Radcliffe, Kenny Loggins, *and* Kenny G?" -You're woke so you're roasting yourself every day. -Here we have the words and the face of a man who considers himself MUCH more important than reality bears. -are you mormon? Some people have no idea what a real alcoholic is... you werent one. Douche. -I guess waking up with a sore ass in random truck stops is enough motivation to make anyone quit drinking. -comment -">occupation: lumberjack - -Weird way to spell ""beaver""" -You look like you’ll get kicked out of grocery stores for being “too friendly” with the produce. -I think this is Bugs Bunny in a human suit. -Your face proportions are wild -Two chiclets as front teeth is crazy work on Gods part -It was nice of your mom to lend you her pubes to use for a beard. -Teefs. -This is what happens when brother and sister chipmunks hook up near toxic waste dumps. -When did they add lumberjack to the Special Olympics? -Taking care of all your friends' morning wood doesn't make you a lumberjack. -Your mouth looks like the cave in horror movies the locals warn the main character about -Those who can’t get wood chop wood -I'm guessing your favorite kind of wood is morning wood. -You look skinnier today than tomorrow. -"If you’re 23 years old, then I’ve got oceanside property in Arizona. - -If you have an attractive girlfriend, then you’ve got oceanside property in your mom’s basement." -Bro chewed through his own umbilical cord -How much wood bro? Just tell me please 😭 -"🎶""OOOOHH, I'M A LUMBERJACK, AND IM OKAY! -I SLEEP ALL NIGHT, AND I WORK ALL DAY! -I CUT DOWN TREES, I WEAR HIGH HEELS, SUSPENDERS, AND A BRAAA! -I WISH I WERE A GIRLIE, JUST LIKE MY DEAR PAPAAAA!!""🎶 - - -Op, presumably." -Charles E Cheese after falling on hard times and becoming a drug addict. -Have you ever been to Bucees? -Was your mom a literal beaver? -"Bro, you're already cooked. You don't really need to get roasted, too." -A baby Ruth would completely seal the deal. HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!!! -Please dont touch my childrens -"You look like the lower and top half of your head are from two different people. Also, you probably save a lot of money on toothbrushes and toothpaste with those little nubs." -You look like the human version of Patrick Star. -Drugs Bunny -You look ready to give blowjobs. -More like a lumberjackoff -No that's 🧽 SpongeBob 😭 -Do you chew through the lumber? -"Aaaaah, whats up doc? 🥕" -Ehhhhhh what’s up doc? -"No wonder there's a housing shortage, this beaver looking mofo ate all the wood." -"Whats up, Doc?" -Holy fuck do you use your teeth to take the trees down.  -You could land a 747 on those things man -I did knaw see this roast coming today -Lumberjack means Alvin and the chickmunks. Are you storing the acorns in your cheeks how else could you be that chubby. -"Well, I see you evolved into the career. Certainly don’t need a chainsaw with those chompers." -You could ditch the axe and just chop down trees with those huge goddamn things in your mouth. -Do you cut through the trees with an axe or your teeth? -You look like you would be an easy cartoon character to draw. -Leave it to beaver -23? More like 53 -Do you cut the trees down with your teeth? -I didn’t know Alvin and the chipmunks had a disabled 4th brother -"Im ready, promotion, im ready, promotion! Head ahh" -"Ward, you're being a little hard on the beaver, don't you think?" -"So, you’re a Lumberjack and you’re ok?" -Hey Bugs Bunny you know what hunting season it is. -I guess lumberjack is just a fancy way of spelling beaver -British lumberjack -your teeth look like reddit -Anyone 'ave eh botle 'o Wahter? -If the Brawny guy and Penn Jillette had a baby. -"Can't roast any bunny, sorry!" -"It's like you had your teeth knocked out, but couldn't afford to replace them so you used a couple of piano keys." -"When six generations of first-cousins successively reproduce, you either get a British monarch…..or this." -A face even diddy would pass on -"""Please hit me hard and be creative"" were your mom's instructions for your botched abortion." -"23. Pathological liar. - -Lumberjack sounds so much more manly than ""I fuck rotten knotholes in dead trees"". You might want to see someone about your yearning to be in remote woodlands with big burly, hairy men." -"Not really creative, but you could use your front teeth instead of an ax to cut down the trees" -Hes a badly drawn cartoon looking motherfucker -Oh...I bet the boys just love your head game on the back 40 -"Whats up, looking for Daffy?" -If a cartoon capybara became humanized… -"You should start your sentence with: what’s up, doc." -“What’s up doc?” -You could eat an apple through a tennis racket -You look like Paul's bunion. -Evrart Claire wannabe. -If your chins were to retract any further into your neck you'd be a thumb -You look like one of them beaver looking things that you have to hit with a mallet at the circus -"oh shit, whats Big Chungus up to nowadays" -23 lumberjack? You look like a 38 year old beaver. -Seems like a natural career choice for a beaver. -Walle in spaceship -Dude so poor he had to get Chiclets for implants -It's buc ee's mascot bro is a beaver -"You made a living handling wood in all shapes and sizes, and you were a lumberjack too!" -The only lumberjack that doesn’t need an axe -Fitting occupation for that mouth -Bro... You are going to be forever revisiting this whole post -You look like you just failed an audition to appear in a Pixar movie. -We understand you love the lumberjack slam but what’s your real profession? -u r what u eat. pretty bland -no -"Your new boss: “Did you bring your axe?” - -You: " -WallStreetJournal: Buc-ees New CEO take brand recognition to heart. -I can only imagine how that chair smells. -Could eat an apple through a fence -Not liking this live action adaptation of Family Guy. -"Hay! Get back on the nickel you flat tailed, fuck." -"Eehhhhh, what's up doc? (Bites into carrot)" -I'm 42 and you look like you could be my dad. -Cornball -I’m ready I’m ready I’m ready -bro will start chomping into a tree -I’m roast it but I’m not sure what type of squirrel it is. -Crusty crab pizza is the pizza -Dude I know you on the sex offenders register -SpongeBob teeth having ass -You certainly do look like you fell trees. -Bro cuts down trees with his teeth -I’m “down” to roast you. -I guess it’s going to be 6 more weeks of winter. -When Paul Buynan meets a lovely beaver ... -Look it’s Fred Flintstone chopping wood -Jeezus! Your picture literally caused a jumpscare for me! I had to enlarge it just to be sure it wasn’t photoshopped. Your looks are what I would call UNFORTUNATE! You look like bugs bunny in human form if bugs bunny ATE babs and then asked for a 90’s teen boy haircut…. And you look like you stink too -You better put them teeth away before you accidentally cut down a tree. -He's a lumberjack and he's okay.... -"FYI, Monty Python’s “The Lumberjack Song” is not an accurate description of that job. It’s a parody. You can take off the women’s clothing now. - -https://youtu.be/pfRdur8GLBM?si=f6urQSoSaGVDECmB" -The Lumberjack profession is an honest and productive way to express one’s displeasure for more well endowed males of the same species. -Serious question: did you photoshop that pic? -Not surprised youd have a career involving you being alone with other men all day. -is it your job or do you need to eat trees to keep your teeth from growing -This is what happens when you spend too much time a buc-ee’s you turn into a beaver -If the Buc-ees mascot was human -Something something lumberjack something look like a beaver -I don't know whether to roast you or toss you a cheese cube -"Holy spongebob teeth, batman" -Bro trying to set us all up to commit a hate crime -"You just bite the tree until it falls, huh?" -I can see that losing his childhood and fairies did not do young Timmy Turner any good. -"Guys, I don’t think he uses a chain saw" -Straight up a Southpark character -"23? You look like shit dude, drink water and hit the gym" -Ricky Berwick gained some weight. -What's up doc? -"You don't need an axe, just chew through the fucking tree" -Heèeeeyyyy yooouuuu guuuuuuys -You're the mascot aren't you? They give you a plastic axe and laugh while you try to cut something down. -You look like Paul Funyun's abandoned child. -Mole teeth -You look like your name is “Buckweat” and you smash glass beer bottles on your head daily. -23 and already giving off mid life crisis vibes -Hey doc got some carrots to pay me with -You look like an autistic 45-year-old who drinks too much diet coke and refuses to go to the dentist. -Alvin and the chipmunks 🐿️ -Honestly was expecting you to be a furry that dresses like a rabbit this teeth like those -23 going on 43 -Puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars -I'm sure you're naturally talented in cutting down trees -Just looking at you makes me uncomfortable. -Leatherface unmasked. -I’m assuming when your axe breaks you just use thise chompers your beaver mother gave you? -"You know I would, but life already did that for you." -While you're cutting down trees I'm giving your girlfriend the wood -If they do a broadway version of “Bolt” you got a job as a hamster coming to you. -Bro looks like a chipmunk -Are you faster with your axe or your teeth? -I think life already did -HEY YOU GUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYSSSS!!!!! -"You're a lumberjack and you have large central insicors. Therefore, you must be using this gift for felling trees." -Corn on the cob doesn’t stand a chance once you get your meaty sausage fingers on it and mow through the rows of corn like a combine. -"I'm a lumberjack -And I'm OK -I sleep all night and I work all day -(He's a lumberjack -And he's OK -He sleeps all night and he works all day) -I cut down trees -I eat my lunch -I go to the lavatry' -On Wednesdays I go shopping -And have buttered scones for tea -(He cuts down trees -He eats his lunch -He goes to the lavatry' -On Wednesdays He goes shopping -And has buttered scones for tea -I cut down trees) -I'm a lumberjack -And I'm OK -I sleep all night and I work all day -I cut down trees -I skip and jump -I like to press wild flowers -I put on women's' clothing and hang around in bars -(He cuts down trees -He skips and jumps -He likes to press wild flowers -He puts on women's' clothing and hang around in bars?) -I'm a lumberjack -And I'm OK -I sleep all night and I work all day -I cut down trees -I wear high heels -Suspendies' and a bra -I wish I'd been a girly -Just like my dear pa-pa -(He cuts down trees -He wears high heels?) -(He's a lumberjack -And he's ok -He sleeps all night and he works all day)" -Hey it’s the family guy! Everybody say hi Peter!👋 -Lars love chunk! -"Occupation ""Limberjack"" Why? Really? Look at the BEaver Teeth. Hes a natural." -You look like Ronald Mcdonald with Gingivitis -Being able to gnaw the shit out of trees doesn’t make you a lumberjack - Do you use your teeth to nibble trees down? -More likely to jack his lumber than lumberjack -">23 - -You forgot to mention the dyslexia." -Do you chew river rock with those choppers? I’ll bet you love corn! -are you sure you are the lumberjack and not stealing the wood for your river dams? -23 going on 46. -Moving crooked units of 2x4’s around at Home Depot using a pallet jack ≠ lumberjack. Do you have any twine to tie down this plywood? -"""I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night, and work all day. I put women's clothing and hang around in bars. I wish I were a lady, just like me dear Mom-ma!""" -Roasting is probably a bad idea. That would be one helluva grease fire.  -You look like your mom is in the kitchen about to call you down for dinner.  -"What’s up, doc?" -"I’ve never seen a presumed adult with 6 adult teeth and the rest baby’s. -Assuming you have 32 teeth and 6 being adults, we can comfortably look at the numbers and seeing only 18.75% of your teeth wanted to be shown to the public, this must mean you’re 81.25% beaver. -We Canadians do not accept you." -"What's up, doc?" -So you sleep all night and you work all day? -Your swimming in beaver I’ll bet. -You are 23? You look like my 58 year old dad. -have you contacted Guinness world records yet? -Jesus do you use your teeth? -"Sucking dick ""wood"" doesn't make you a lumberjack" -Are you sure you’re a lumberjack and dont just have an obsession with gnawing down trees and damming rivers? -Looks like SpongeBob is ready for another round of Jellyfishing. -Wow never saw a rat/human chimera! Alex Jones was right! -You look like the result of Peter Griffin fucking a beaver. -Live action family guy has been announced thanks to this guy. -"You chop down trees, you skip and jump, you like to press wild flowers... - -You dress up in women's clothing, and hang around in bars." -Mf just because you build wooden dams in rivers doesn’t make you a carpenter -"Christ Almighty, did meatcanyon make you?" -"Bugs the bunny looking ahhh -""Erm actually according to my calculations "" looking ahh -How you 23 and already have ur hairline receding -I thought lumberjacks were meant to he fit man get ur dumb ahh outta here -Why the fuck you looking acoustic ( if you are autistic I am sorry )" -This is what centuries of inbreeding has done to white DNA. -have u considered taking a nail file to your teeth -Dude can eat an apple through a picket fence -Dude if you’re 23 then Im not even born yet -I bet you only wear Timberland boots on your job sites -I'm just wondering how many chromosomes you're missing to look like a beaver -Hold on. Let me turn on the oven. -You look like the mole rat from Kim possible -You got rough hands lol you work 80 hours a days -HEY YOU GUYZZZZ! -Tik tac patty whack give this dog a bone -Guys we really should update the rules of this sub and keep special needs/ disabled people from being roasted. They have it bad enough… -I didn't know Beavers could make Reddit accounts -he's a lumberjack and he's okay. He sleeps all night and works all day. He wears high heels he goes to bars wearing women's clothing. My God big man shave those things down for your gonna end up piercing your chin with them. -You look like you can eat an entire coconut -I don't want to roast you. A stew with root vegetables would be more appropriate. -"He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps -He likes to press wild flowers -He puts on women’s clothing and hangs around in bars - -I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK -I sleep all night and I work all day - -I cut down trees, I wear high heels -Suspendies and a bra -I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear Papa" -A job he was born to do -This is not a roast. It’s opinion. You look like an adult size baby . Like you skipped metamorphosis and just grew . -Damn you look like you can eat an apple through a picket fence -Albino turds do exist -Nope -23 going on 45 -"He puts on women’s clothing -And hangs around in bars …" -Beaver boy -23? Madone you look terrible -You know when you eat corn on the cob and only 2 rows are missing? -"When they said ""do more, live extra!"" they didn't mean chromosones." -You’re a lumberjack and you’re not OK. -I bet your the champ of eating corn on the cob through a chain link fence -Look at the sign on the door. Pretty sure he lives with his parents to top the cake. -Bros looks like snoop dogs Autistic cousin looking ass boi -With choppers like those I bet you take down a redwood in no time… Timber! -If Patrick star from Spongebob was a person -Jesus Christ -"Lumberjack, comes with built in saw." -wondering what tool you use to cut down trees.... -You probably have sticky sap hands. -What's up doc? -"I can't roast the mentally challenged. That's just not cool, but I am proud of you getting your dream job. You were the little eager beaver and got to be a lumberjack despite the disabilities" -Rocking the same toof job as my 7 month old daughter. -"That room screams ""I still live with my parents""" -You look like you were face fucked by Haggrid. -Ol boy can eat corn on the cob through a chainlink fence. 🌽 ⛓️ 🦫 -Al from Toy story 2? -Straight up rocking an extra chromosome -"I have no roast to give but how on earth do you end up with all your teeth filed down except your two, top, front teeth? That’s mental." -you look very critter like -You look like Sandy Cheeks -You look like the basis for an Alvin and the Chipmunks Theodore Rule 34 -Your career in the rescue rangers was never a thing. The dream of a madman. Gadget thought you were a little creepy. Zipper too. -Sure you don’t work at the mystery shack? -Rotted jack o lantern teeth -You look like you like to play with logs. -"Surely your group home doesn’t permit the use of power equipment?!? - -It’s time to eat your oatmeal and drink your Ensure. After you eat your lunch you can watch Wheel. That’s a good job, you’re doing so good" -Bugs bunny -"Checks out. You look the type to cut down trees, wear high heels, suspenders and a bra wishing you had been born a girlie just like dear papa." -"Is your whole crew gay, too?" -He doesnt seem to need an axe to chop all those trees. -Look like you do more jackin than ya do lumber I tell you hwat -The product of “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” when you’re on the naughty list -You look like a developmentally delayed thumb -Must be nice to not ever need a can opener. -You're makin em at night -"Damn bro, do you gnaw the trees down?" -Hey you guys! -"Just because you're a beaver, doesn't mean you can call yourself a lumberjack" -If you want those things to stop growing you're supposed to whittle them down by gnawing on wood. Great way to build a home for your community too. -"Sandy cheeks, Alvin" -Ur so fat even diabetes rejected you -"Your glasses are too small, oh wait, you have little beady eyes." -Dem beever teath cuttin em trees down! -SPONGEBOB! Make sure plankton don’t steal me krabby patty secret formuler -Found Buc-ee's cousin -Why do you still have all those baby teeth left? -"You look divorced and old, but happy" -You don't stop talking even in your sleep do you? -Least popular booth at the local glory hole. -Seek a job as a Can opener in some festivals -It's a tough job but someone needs to chew down those trees one at a time. -Looking like Peter Griffin with a beard -Are you eating the wood? You should be to keep them 2 front teefuhsis in check. -I want to see this guy go head to head against Alex Jones when the Apocalypse comes. I want to see which one eats the other first -the mouse in my wall if i'm ever to spot him i assume will look just like you -Eehhh. What's up doc? -I hope a tree falls on you -"No shit you’re a Lumberjack… must save your employer a ton of money on saws, blades, oil, gas… and built in eye safety protection!!! Jesus Christ it’s the Jason Borne of Lumberjack-ing" -We already knew you were a lumberjack. There aren’t a lot of jobs available for beavers. -Rufus from kim possible -If you order Boogie2988 on wish this is what you get -Are you cosplaying Peter griffin -"23 🤣🤣??? Surely not, u lying 🤥 - unless it’s 23 stone?" -No saws required -If SpongeBob and Patrick had a kid… -"Not even a roast, just do yourself and everyone around you a favor and go to an orthodontist." -You're damn sure a apple's worst nightmare -You are probably on Some government watch list. -"It's a filter, surely?" -Did the extra teeth come with the extra chromosome or was it vise versa -you kinda look like if a downy and a rabbid had a baby -One day you'll meet three homeless children in the woods. They'll tell you a wild story about walking through a closet and needing to get their brother back from a Witch. -Looks like you gnaw through that lumber with your teeth. -23? Dear lord your generation is aging like milk -I am a lumberjack who cuts trees down with my incisors🦫🤓 -How many trees a year do you go through?? -Good lord do you use a chainsaw or those teeth? -Bro could eat an apple through a tennis racket. -You look like the Numa Numa Guy's unpuckered asshole. -You look like one of the Angry Beavers cut off the face of a dipshit and is wearing it like a mask. -Hey fucking said lumberjack omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣 -By lumber jack do you perhaps mean Beaver? -Im glad you knew you don’t have to mention your a virgin because everyone can guess so. -Lumberjack = beaver -Bugs bunny over here -"23? You look older than my dead nan, and she lived a long time." -I can't believe I didn't know you as buck teeth boy as a kid. You were robbed. You should ask for royalties. -You don't listen when they say stop eating the wood. -The party bottle opener -I know an apple hates to see you coming -You remind me of Timmy Turner -bro did what ever it took to act human but the job and teeth say what he really is -Damn bro how much hard wood you be chewing? -So who’s the woodchuck? Mom or dad? -You look like Soos from gravity falls -"What's up, Doc?" -"Looks like you really took the song ""All I want for christmas is my two front teeth"" quite literally. - -How do you grow them things so long?" -"Jesus christ I want too, but I don't want you to dam up my local river and cause a drought." -Beaver catfishing as lumberjack -"Looks like you could eat corn through a picket fence, with a stupid smile on your face!" -Your teeth are so wide that Donald Trump thought you were Bugs Bunny’s son -Ok no lie i literally only thought teeth like that exists in cartoons -All I hear is Monty Python and the lumberjack song. Might be showing my age with that one. #iykyk 🤣 -"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" -I got nothing negative to say habibi u look happy healthy and thriving -You look like if you were the next big creator on YouTube within minutes of being famous you'd molest an adolescent cockatoo -Bros don’t even need a saw -Your teeth are the best part of your face! -"What’s up, Doc?" -"Lumberjack…. Mmhmmmm stand up, turn around and show us that paddle tail. I SEE YOU MR. BEAVER" -Cutting trees down with those damn teeth -Surprised the wooden door is still intact. -You're a gay lumberjack that will never be able to chop wood. -23… Jesus help you -Don't need to roast you- your smile does the work for me. -Looks like something already hit you pretty hard -Lumberjacks are badass! Wait…I’m bad at this… -blunderjack -Your face looks photoshopped. Poorly. -You look like multiple generations of inbreeding between Sponge Bob and Patrick. -Discord mod -SpongeBob smile… -Dam. -Are you sure you are 23? -Dam! -The perfect lumberjack.. doesn’t even need an axe. Just gnaws the fucking tree down -It really looks like someone knocked out your front teeth and replaced them with someone else’s. No way those chompers are all from the same mouth -comment -You look like you add extra chromosomes to your breakfast cereal every morning. -"My man, what in the world is going on with your nose and glasses?" -"I’ve heard of a cleft lip, but never a cleft nostril. The good news is you can have a side hustle as a vacuum cleaner. Your nostrils have more room than my first apartment" -You look like you pick your nose with a corkscrew. -Never until today did I wish phones had a 0.0001 Megapixel camera. -"Guys, I don't think Shaggy aged well" -You look like you could be a screen writer for Nickelodeon kids show. -"Regardless of the time you spend in the shower, I bet the water never runs clear." -"Not sure why your eyebrows need glasses, but okay." -A nose for finding truffles -What the fuck is this? -What children on the dark web would see on their end if he accidentally turned on his web cam. -Why are you near Sponge Bob? Quasimodo should be in the Disney section. -I never understood people that wear their glasses like that . -"No, this is too easy of a target. Also fire your optometrist" -I can't roast you. That would be like pouring gas on a fire. -The Hills Have (four) Eyes -"A man so ugly, even his glasses don’t like what they see" -Genetics have roasted you worse than we ever could. -You kinda look like the short bus version of Mark Hamill. Darth Vader would 100% deny being your father. -You look line you register every time you move -HE CAN SMELL CRIME -"If Oswald Cobblepot didn't get into crime, and moved to Nebraska." -Holy fuck -"I can’t work out if the scariest part is your face, or you’re hanging out at a kids arcade." -Did you make the girl in the pit take your picture before or after she rubbed the lotion on its skin? -"Mom: Officer, I hired a children’s party entertainer. But this man shows up and says his character is Sponge Bob No Pants." -"Why? Life already roasted the fuck out of you with those looks and body. Also, what the fuck is up with your glasses? Is your forehead blind also?" -At the arcade enjoying the games I see -Seeing that face in an arcade is a worrisome situation. -"I swear to god some people just have humiliation kinks, dude. This shit is crazy." -I'm as confused as your nostrils -You look like a shitty pumpkin carving -Just want to make sure you know that MAGIC The Gathering doesn't *get the ladies wet* -"Chromosomes, not sure if you have too many or too few" -"You’re that disgusting, even your glasses are trying not to sit on your face." -Cyrano de Nerdiac -"“Mum, why do I have to wear safety glasses?” - -“Because you broke your normal pair on the bus window when you tried to lick it.”" -"You've done enough to yourself, no one can beat you" -"“Yeah, I mean, when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places so I’m a little fucked up.”" -"Yo bro How can i roast you, you don't even have your glasses in place to read it 🤓" -Have a little trouble spelling roast there? -Proof God has a sense of humor. -You look like if Bruce transitioned back -Your hair in the first pic looks like you are wearing somebody else's scalp as a hat -You look like the mentally slow brother of Shaggy: Laggy -Holy Asperger’s -You get more pussy than this whole sub. Meaw -"I'm afraid it's already been brought. - -You look like the guy from the movie Casino after his head got squeezed in a vice. And yet you live." -You look like you cut your hair yourself. With a spoon. Without a mirror. -You look like you get away with a lot because no one believes the kid’s drawing of his victim could be a real person. -"With all of those chins, you can probably fold what, 3 or 4 towels at a time?" -He went to the Halloween store and asked for a child molester mask. -"You roasted yourself by being alive bub, looking like a deformed Vector from Despicable me." -You look like you’d be homeless in whoville😂 -"did you have a 10 year old cut your hair? - -were those glasses purchased from the medical supply store? - -why are you an adult but still trying to grow out rat whiskers?" -What's up with those glasses 😭😭😭 -You look like Harry potter went on a 6 year Crack bender and was found in san bernardino at Perris Hill park in a tent -The first picture looks like you're at a children's arcade. The next one looks like your mugshot after they caught you at said children's arcade. -"Roast you? How? - -It already looks like you left your nose in the oven too long." -I can’t… oh god -"Pinocchio’s long-lost cousin? That nose isn’t just rejecting your glasses; it’s actively fighting them for dominance. Every time you adjusts them, it’s like watching a territorial dispute. If they ride up any further to your forehead, you risk lighting that Simple Jack haircut on fire when the Sun comes out." -"That fucking nose belongs in a water park... down the slope we all go, in a family sized raft." -You look like you teach shop to pre-schoolers -Look it's The Great and Powerful Schnoz. -Chester the molester for sure -You have something on your third chin -Bro you just made me so much more confident in myself by just existing -"I see in the second picture, you got a haircut and changed your glasses, but still ugly 😭" -You look like you jerk off to vinyl -Bro why your hair is a mop? -Jesus Christ -"First impression: Eric Clapton - -Upon scrolling the other pics, you are probably more similar to Eric Cartman." -He’s an apple and spit away from being ready. -"So where are you in life ? -Are you drowning puppies while masterbating or child torture dungeon ?" -"Gross, no." -My man can smell Taco Tuesday on Monday -"Not sure what family fun center you're at, but I'm pretty sure it violates your parole being within 350ft of it." -halloween has gone so take of the mask -"You look wanted (For cybercrimes, not sex.)" -"You look like you shouldn’t be let around children, frankly." -How did you like your Chris Hansen interview? -You look like something a child drew with an unsteady hand...  -The average redditor. -One of the only things you’ve got going for you is a full head of hair and you somehow manage to make that look like a wig -"“Hello FBI?…..Yes, that one”" -Dahmer Season 2 confirmed -Jeffery Dahmer really let himself go -I like the lesbian p.e. teacher hair cut on the first. -You look like a transgender Harry potter -You look like you can't be within 250ft of a school -You look like someone from Chris Hansen To Catch a Predator. -Interesting choice using a pic taken by one of your victims. -"Wherever you are, you're there to touch kids." -You look like you asked chat gpt to turn you into a gay woman -You look like someone Chris Hanson would know. -"Life’s done enough, let him be" -A crayon’s worst nightmare -You should not be allowed in children’s arcades. -Nice Edgar suit. -Someone left their Nathan lane figure on the radiator again. -That nose looks like it has a second use as a compass. Looks like no matter where u are it will point twords the nearest elementary school. -That nose could smell a Sunday roast on a wednesday -The spectrum hit hard. -So ugly even his glasses tryna leave his face -I decline to say anything because I don’t want to burn in hell from what I am thinking..so I will just say bless your little heart.. -Why roast you? You obviously don't give a fuck about your appearance. -Aren’t you supposed to stay at least 2 miles from the children’s arcade? -Shopping on the spectrum -If there was a picture that represented a child sexual predator it would be you. -Who's that thing behind SpongeBob? -There's not enough fuel to roast your lard ass let alone your beak of a nose. -Your nose looks like if a penis looked like Darth Vader -Did you get a good look at the farm mule that kicked the side of your head in -Who lives in a box under the bridge? Dor-ky glasses guy. -Bros nose so long it could pick itself if it curled down. -Fat Carell -Stop stealing and wearing your grandma’s wig. It’s not funny Kyle. -You look like they took all the bones out of Steve Carell and replaced them with pudding and fentanyl. -Too easy… -Your first picture looks like Peter Griffin if he had a coke problem. -mt. noseverest -Dr Evazan without Ponda Baba. How cute. -U Jane him tarzan -Man each of them nostrils is out for itself. -You look like sam hyde mixed with tim heideker -He looks like Shaggy if he ate Scooby Doo -You better get outside the 500m radius of that kids game store before the cops come. You’re registered aren’t you? -Bro your nose 😭😭 I can't -"There are 2 things I don't like about you, and it's your face." -Geez a haircut didn’t even help -"bro i feel bad for you. who broke your nose first, your dad or your school bully?" -"Damn Shaggy, stop eating then dog treats… it’s fattening" -Can be within 100 yards of an elementary school? Doubt it -"Oh for the love of god, there’s not a thing any of us could possible say that would top the terrible,cruel, diabolical thing the universe has already done to you." -Maybe if you took pictures from a downward angle we wouldn’t know you can’t breathe through your nose. -After the death of his beloved dog Shaggy struggled just to get through the day -Spoogebob cumpants -You look like Shaggy if he did heroin and instead of solving mysteries he flashed kids at parks. -"You look like you are always late for work, but your nose is 25 min early" -Come on own up! Who rearranged this man's face? -"Doing 70s porn at a Toys r us, is really tacky." -The tip of your nose resides in a different timezone -Jesus F****** C*****. Our condolences. -"""what?"" - -quote: DMX" -How jewy are you😳?  -"You look like live action Ned Flanders, without the self discipline and stout moral convictions." -did you max out the facial features in gta when designing your character or are you just naturally creepily disproportionate -Your nose looks like it's trying to wiggle off your face. Must be tired of being forced to smell you every day. -How many of your siblings actually survived to adulthood ? -You look like your face was chewed up by a pitbull and doctors used skin from your balls to stich your sorry ass together -"Omg shove an apple in its pie hole and stab pineapple ring all over the rest of him! (With cherries) on top of the sharp skewers, no one shoyld be harmed in this suggestion!! Few hours over the fire pit, voila best roast EVER !" -"Better get that lock repaired on your free candy van, the kids keep escaping" -Looks like that nose came with the glasses -Bring it? It has already been brought’en… And it hit you dead in the face bone. You look like it was suppose to be anal and that shit leaked. -"Dude, even sponge bob is laughing at your suicidal ass" -you look like Patrick dumber cousin from the south that fucks his own sister you waist line is triple xL your glasses cant even fit your head have you had them since birth you look like you cook chicken with no seasoning you build like whole damn complete bikini bottom when you fart do you say oh no its the dirty bubble do you think your dirty Dan do you drive the invisible mobile did you pull up to prom with no car and say its the invisible mobile where you bullied as a kid and are you British cause you teeth are fucked do you need a cup of tea mate -Original Wack Pack Member- Elephant Boy lookalike -“The left ones ma snortin’ nostril and ma glasses bounce when am jackin’ orff!” -Berenstain Bear in human form -There should be a warning on this post for all parents of young autistic kids. I personally prefer not to know what's coming. -How does your nose look both small and huge at the same time? -Mom's basement ass build -Spanky banana -Looks like he needs his computer checking -"Bro looks like pre crippled, post brain dead lester" -Temu SpongeBob and Patrick. -It looks like someone put you together with play doh. -All of that eating finally caught up to Shaggy -You can tell he's lying just by his nose 👃 alone -Holy fuck the doctor grabbed your head way to hard with the forceps when you were evicted from your mom's crotch -Do you always wear safety glasses to post. Someone deviated your septum. That is at least one deviation you should get addressed. -You shouldn't be within 500 yards of children -You look self-marinating... -Mr bean lookin’ ahh💀💀 -He auditioning for pepper pig. -Your nose is trying to run away from your face -Genetics already roasted you my guy -"People like you make -Me feel like tom cruise" -"What sick roast am I going to come up with? You should know, surely you can see into the future with those spectacles on." -Your face and cameras were just not made for each other. -To easy -50 bucks says this is the last thing Madeleine McCann saw. -Why don't you take a seat? -You look like papa pig if he was real -Where’s your partner Ponda Baba? -"I can see why you’re attracted to something “absorbent, yellow and porous.”" -You look like there should be a court order prohibiting you from being anywhere near a kids claw machine..... -Does it point to true north or magnetic north? -cocaine is a hell of a drug -"So fugly that your nose, hair and glasses are trying to escape your face" -Hey! You are that guy who asked me to sleep with your wife. -Hob goblin -If you worked at Nickelodeon they would’ve caught you in months not years -Brother stay away from children ✋❌👧 -Listen! I don’t have the heart you have to have it bad enough already. God bless. -You look like you could smell a Sunday roast on a Thursday with that nose. -Some drunk God put together a human mister potato head. -You look like you moderate a facebook fanpage for a suspiciously young actress -WTF -How many Skin Lamp shades do you own? Asking for a friend -Bring what? Your missing chromosomes? -Are you made by walt Disney. Damn that nose😂😂 -Did you get you rhinoplasty done by ai -Is that a face or a sun dial? -"Nostrils like ghostface from Scream. - -Not a phrase i ever expected to use!" -"Adam Sandler really did fall off,damn" -You're the wish version of Adam Sandler -your face is like a candle u melt -You are hard to look at. -Can't...your parents beat us to it -"Spongebob in the rear, Spongebob in the front. Which one is the real Spongebob?" -Looks like you've been beat with an ugly stick. -If nacho libre had a brother.... you'd be taco libre -You look like you eat your own Semen -Depuis combien de temps es-tu en prison ? -"Well, that's unfortunate." -Hi Alf. -"If you were a roast vegetable, the lamb would use its leg to run away." -"Aww, bless your heart" -Agent J and Agent K would like a word with you... -You look like one of Rogers many characters from American Dad -"You are like a german car, once you fix something; something else else will fail." -Your very existence is the ultimate roast -I can't believe either of your parents got laid. -Life REAALLLYYY fucked you up -Someone turned up the heat at the wax museum. -It's Grew! -This pic should come with a zoom warning. -This is the first time I've ever responded in this group. You're a roast. Literally a fucking pot roast. With no gravy or potatoes. -“My mom says I’m handsome” -i feel like when you smell something good you start floating in the air with ur nostrils flared -"I was about to…then I swiped and the second photo of you said, “hold my beer.”" -You look like you've been fed with the flat side of a shovel. -"Nice of you repurpose the glasses from the corpse you keep at home. -(username checks out)" -Both camera angles are kind of making us look up your nose. -Didn't know they still sold ra**st glasses. -So do you get to sit next to Grandma's at grandmother unions or do you still have to sit at the fat guy table -You should try carrier in clowning coz you won't need any makeup. -The fact you've got SpongeBob behind you and look like the child catchers grandson says it all! -"Nice haircut, shame about the head." -I’m going to use my fifth amendment since I’m not trying to get murdered -You look like a Picasso painting. -"Naw bro, even I have a limit." -Jeffrey dahmer looking mother fucker -"Holy fuck, your face looks like a child's drawing. ""No honey, that's not how human noses look""" -Shawn Spencer been through some shit -I can tell all of the knob length went to your nose instead -What the fuck is going on with that nose? -Shaggy and Scooby fucked and then you came out of Scooby's ass -So just how many watch lists are you on? -I didn’t realise r/roastme had introduced an east mode. Personally I prefer a challenge. -"No roast, you need sleep" -How is it that not a single feature is on straight? -"The Green Bastard, from parts unknown......" -Bubbles....from trailer park boys -How many fingers am I holding up? -Bro god already roasted you -Did someone dig up Dahmer and bring him to their kid's Show and Tell? Freaking SpongeBob looks horrified in the back even... -You mad Venkman are my favorite Ghostbusters. -He jerks off to Sesame Street. -No amount of immunity you grant me will save me from going to hell for insulting the mentally disabled 🤣 -Go get the apple for your mouth -Did you misspell roast?? -"You're already on a list aren't, you?" -Why? You seem like someone who’s been roasted his entire life. -Literally Edgar The Bug from Men in black but with glasses -"Master, your nose looks like a cesspool." -"You look like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, after the alien from the first Man In Black movie took his skin and pulled it over." -How long you been dead 🤔 -"Guy is on every website that talks about predators. Hide your kids, Pinocchio is out and about." -My guys clearly out looking for a date....... Bet he has candy in his pockets and a windowless van full of invisible puppets too!!! -If Elton John played at a public library on a kids see and say toy. -This guy fucks -You look like you’re in an environment with ready access to young children. You also look like that’s violating the terms of your parole. -White diddy -You ever see those cameras filters that make your face stretch in opposite directions because it's crazy to see and looks funny? That. -Hasn't life done enough roasting already? -"You like to think your job doesn't define you, but it does, and you have been found lacking." -"Roasting you would make the house smell like burnt work boot, no thanks." -He looks like he’a about to ask some kids if they want some candy and pet some puppies he has in his white van outside! -"We all know what's on your hard drive, bud" -You look like you have a haploid chromosome set -Glasses fit about as well as your relationships. -if the mucinex blob was a person -Ben from Lost -Please leave the arcade. And wash your ass. -Stop hanging out in the kids toy section.. -One day the feds are definitely going to seize your hard drives and other electronic devices. -Simple jack grown up -Bro looks like he got raised by the grandma that says “ hello my handsome boy” Aaah face -Your face looks like a Picasso painting. Shit going in all different directions -I have never seen a face so crooked. -LOVE THE HAIR -one chin wasnt enough -Bruh. -I bet the air you breath has scoliosis -Had to be an ugly baby too….had to be -Your nose is more crooked than the ruble exchange rate from 1991-2022😭 -You look like Joshua block if he wasn’t autistic and just drank his whole life -I'm pretty sure he isn't allowed in the toy section -Dude your not supposed to be within 500ft of children -Patrick? -You look like me if I got back on heroine and let myself go. Crooked nose and all -You dick! -You look like a statue. Made of chocolate. Abandoned by its mother in the Sahara. -He can smell a Sunday roast from Tuesday. -You look like the child of Shaggy and scooby do. -You look like Steve Carrel on crack -"I cannot roast you. I don't buy discount off-cuts. - -Nope that sucked, ugh, this is hard….. is what you said to your Japanese Hentai Pillow last night. She replied yamete kudasai while she cried... The tears turned out to be your cum" -Bro did this before and is doing it again? Why? -Phill Less -That SpongeBob coin game with the cards that drop is my favourite arcade game. Gary is always the rarest card to get 😉 -Steve Carell and Pinocchio's love child. -I bet you can count to potato -Your glasses can see into the future -I can't roast you any better than God did with those looks -"what's up, mr. toad" -Baby girl what is you doin?! -Uncle dad! You're my favorite nephew son -Don’t make things harder on yourself and just tell us where the bodies are buried. -Take off the wig 1st.. -Do you ever hold your glasses in the sun and burn bugs and start forest fires? -How many kids did you touch in the arcade? -thats the last face the kids see before being locked in the back of a van -"I thought the farmer from MIB 1 was just an actor, didn’t know your a real guy" -Is that a dead animal on your head? -"In that 2nd pic, is your ass so big that it wraps around the world back to your face and is threatening to pull you into its own black hole orbit?" -"You have seen mirrors for sale, right?" -"You look like you'd misspell the word Roast... Oh, wait..." -I don’t think you’re legally allowed within 200 ft of the toy aisle. -"Naw man, I just feel bad for you. We all know what you been doing to yourself." -Stop hanging in there kid section you gonna get arrested!! -You deserve to be in exile Puigdemont with that face. -You probably smell like your username... -Someone grabbed and dragged the tip of your nose in photoshop -"We have Steve from Blues Clues at home. - - -Steve from Blues Clues at home:" -"Hey Patrick , SpongeBob is right behind you" -Cocaine proof nose. Loses efficacy during the journey -Adrian Mole in 2024 -Lose weight. -"I don't need to, genetics beat me there" -We can all tell which nostril you spend the most time in. -First pic: working at the nickelodeon store. Second pic: locked up for molesting kids at the nickelodeon store. -Your forehead is bigger than peoples future -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->Oh, an agoraphobic Star Trek fan watch out ladies. -> ->I’m 43 and medically retired. - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Slobin Williams -At least you aren't as old as you look. -Your are required by law to identify as a sex offender. Please fix your bio. -"Too old to be a hipster, too young to break a hip in the bathroom." -You look like you are 42 in 1972 -The Unapainter -If Bob Villa and Bob Ross had a kid. -Just because you glued a pubis to your face doesn’t make you masculine -You look like Zach Galifianakis auditioning for the Brady Bunch -Papa Smurf lookin' ass. -"Knob Ross! - -Shouldn't you be painting happy little trees somewhere?" -Do you know how old you are? 42? 43? Pick a lane you Thrift-shop-klepto -"The lapels say “U da bomb!” But the beard, creepy smile, and dead eyes say “Unabomb”" -Do you have really slow Internet and sent this from the 70s -You're dressed like an extra from Family Ties... like you could've been the uncle that comes to visit and teach everyone about gambling problems or something like that. -"Why do you look like Bob Ross, Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Roger's all combined into one mighty form called Mr. Douchebag?" -You look like you work in baby powder sales. -"Hide your kids, he’s not interested in yo wife." -*The chast man on dearth* -Ohhhh farts -Billy Mays gay brother -Whack Galifanakissmyass -That's a brutal 42 -Robin Shilliams -"Mr Roger's called, he wants his sweater back" -Why does this look like it was posted 42 years ago? -I'm 48 and you look like my dad -How close are you legally allowed to get to playgrounds and schools ? -"Hey, Mr. Rogers is a national treasure, stop trying to be a weird hobo Rogers!" -Zach Galifianakis waiting for a kidney -"You look like the middle school librarian in 1973. You would probably have given your son 'the talk' calling sex 'intercourse'. You and you wife would invite friends over for fondue on Friday night and after having a little too much to drink (a half glass of Riunite Lambrusco) you'd entertain everyone (just yourself) by playing John Denver songs on the flute.     - - -*""Riunite on ice, that's nice.""*" -"I feel like if you were my uncle and I was a child, I’d need therapy later in life" -"sure, but first shave those pubic beards" -If homo Will forte and Hacksaw Jim Duggan got a surrogate mother -You look like if John Ritter starred in “The Last Man On Earth” -You look like the love child of Charles Manson and Mr.Rogers . -"You look like Cat Stevens got back into the country, but has to pretend that he owns a shoe repair business." -If Joe Wilkinson was American -The sex offender Mr Rodgers look is really going well for ya. -Mr. Fapgers -You look like you time traveled from the 70s to diddle kids. -Happy Gilmore’s caddy -when you order Zach Galifianakis on wish.com -IF Mr. Rogers became the Unabomber. -Why's my guy look like the illegitimate child of Zach Galifianakis and Mr rogers. -"Ruggishly handsome, for a homeless guy" -When’d you get out of Jumanji? -There a casting for that 70 show ? -Charles Manson lookin ass -"The perennial TA that says ""I can magically make that D into a C, if you'll dance for me!""" -You look like Charlie Manson if he found Jesus -People stop you in airports thinking you are Zach Galifinakis. You deeply disappoint them with your total lack of charm or sense of humor. -"Why do you look like my dad, when I'm older than you?" -"""Hey kids! Who wants to ride my beard?""" -You look like you weren’t satisfied working in the mines of Moria. So you moved to the city to open your own vegan cafe. You’re not allowed to be around children and there are at least 4 live mice in your beard at any one time. -"No need to stay in the 70s. -Your kind has rights now" -You look like you still order happy meals for the toys. -You look annoying. -Eric Foreman/Charles Manson mashup -Where's the cheese. -"Mr Rogers, the Unabomber" -Lord Farquaad cleaned up! -you got more rolls on your forehead than my fat sister's belly -Are you a fortune teller? How else could you have known that Reddit exist 50 years ago when you made the photograph? -You look like you're about to have a swell time at the Regal Beagle. -"You like robin Williams I'm Moscow on the Hudson , minus the talent" -Cashiers for sure be giving you the retire discount. You look like you’re going on 70 bro. -Why? Just…..why? -You look like Kenny Rogers in 1972 -If Mr Rodger’s had a beard and a combover and no self esteem -"Alright. Let’s hear it. - -You’ve had to say it dozens of times already: “my name is jiffypopper44 and I am a registered…”" -If you gave me 3 wishes I would wish you were never born -You look like Arab Mr Roger’s with a drug addiction. -"Dressing like Mr. Rodgers won’t make kids want to come any closer to you. Now, be a good offender and go register." -“It’s not your fault” but it is tho -42 in dog years. -"I've asked ChatGPT to draw a man who gave up on life, and I got this picture." -So that's where I left my time machine... 1973 Harvard Community College. -The son that Bob Ross disowned for not being able to paint any happy little trees. 🌲 -Crack Galifijobless -If Mr Rodgers’s and Bob Ross had a child it would look nothing like you because you’re creepy af -“I’m Mike from List 25 and here are 25 ways to roast me” -who made great value jesus -Charles Manson 2.0 -You look like present day Robin Williams but somehow still worse off -You look like my dad. I turn 44 next weeks. -bro looks like Mr. Rogers joined the BeeGees -Karl Marx from wish. -It was a Shawshank Redemption -You look like even the Pakleds would take a pass on you. -That 70s show called they want their shirt back -Uncle Chester “The Molester” -Santa’s gay nephew. -More like 52. -Agoraphobic you say? That might explain why you look like you haven't left the house since the 1970s. -"You look pretty young as for 42. Maybe I'm nice because I look similar to you. But It's a roast sub so I guess hello there, dear Charles Manson." -Last Man on Earth mixed with Mr. Rogers. You look like you smell like cat piss. -Please tell me you are joking. This CANNOT be what you look like in real life. Fuuuuuck dude. -Definitely wouldn’t feel safe with you around children and you need your search history checked -"This picture was taken in the seventies, you can't convince me otherwise" -You look like you sing for the Dubliners and then your unabomb explodes. -You’re aging like milk -"You look half Robin Williams and half George Carlin, but somehow only half a percent as funny and clever." -Not allowed within 500 yards of a school. -You are the red dot on the map of child predators nearby. -The last man on earth -You look like Bob Ross's Wario -Looks like Mr. Rodgers had a kid with a used q-tip -You look like you were cloned in a vat that contained nothing but MR. Rogers and Charles Manson's DNA. Then some kind of lab accident occurred that resulted in your release in to the wild. -42? Are you sure you don't mean 62? -You look like Charlie Manson x Mr Rogers. -Prostate Cancer vibes -Last Man on Earth -Charles Manson type beat -"""42 years old"" Yeah I know. It would literally be weird if you turned out to be 41 or 43." -You look like a school teacher all the kids make fun of. -You look like a K-mart Daniel Faraday from “Lost”. -This Jim Henson fucks his puppets -This isn’t a compliment. I know exactly what you smell like just by what you are wearing. -At what point did you decide to eat Zach Galifianakis? -Mr. Rodgers has just given up on life -This is a Mr. Roger’s alternative version if he was smocking the good stuff on a daily basis -You look like David Mitchell if he lived off beans and cornflakes. -I regret you posting this for you. -I still see dead people -You have more hair on your chin than on your head -You're 42 and on Reddit. -You look like Tandy from the last man on earth 😂 -Is this the timeline where Charles Manson didn't go to prison? -You lose a bet and let someone blue lines to your face? -Are you the wacky neighbor from every sitcom -Charles Manson and Mr. Rodgers lovechild. -This guy looks like the wish.com version of the professor Robin Williams played in Good Will Hunting -Some how you look 14 years old and 60 at the same time. -Yeah maybe 20 years ago you were. - Charles Manson reincarnated… check his basement for tied up women -You look like a homeless Mr. Rogers. You don't have to ask anyone to be your neighbor because they probably already are. -Hobo Mr Roger's -Death to Coochie -How did Ted kaczynski get access to Reddit -You look like the unwanted love child of Mr Rogers and The Unabomber. -why do i have a feeling im going to look like you at 42 and i dont like it -Isn't it enough that I regret you posting this? You look like a super gay mountie -42?!? Mister ur def in ur 60’s either that or were beaten wit the ugly stick -Your beard looks like you scooped it off the floor of the barbers. And then mixed it with your mum's pubes. -Kenny Mr Rogers -"Let me guess, you the only wolf in the wolfpack" -Welcome to Olive Garden -Robin Williams hairy twin? -Mr Rogers having a beautiful day in the homeless shelter -"This photo was taken in 1984, making the OP 82 years old." -"The beard says hobo, the shirt looks like you're stuck in the 60s and the cardigan is something my grandad would wear." -Thats an alternate reality version of Charles Manson. Charlie Manson if he were going on a casual date at a soda shop -Oh cool we finally get the ending to last man on earth -If Captain Kangaroo had to announce door-to-door that he's a sex offender. -When you order Charles Manson from Wish. -Last man on earth. Still a virgin. -I'm 41 and you look 15 years older than me. Thank you for aging terribly -Mether Rogers Trailer Park. Coming soon! -Looks like the unsuccessful version Robin Williams if he looked like a homeless person -"The brother the Kelsey's don't talk about. Hell, the mom doesn't ever mention you." -"You look like Mr. Rogers, but like he starting smoking pot and touching little kids." -Your fashion sense was even outdated last time you left the house -"Thank God, someone with a worse beard than me." -You look like you just escaped from Jumanji. -"I don’t think so, Tim." -"You mistyped 63. And if you didn't, sorry bruh" -I bet you unironically wear socks and sandals with your cardigan. -Sex offender Mr. Rogers -You look like the head professor of a homeless shelter -Yea I can see that too.. lol.. -I’ve got a feeling that this guy’s only friend is called Wilson -He’s just adorable 💀💀 I cant -Looks like you were self conscious that you couldn’t grow a beard and glued the pubes of a greek restaurant owner to your face. -Bro looking like a painter from the 1700's💀💀 -"Sir, you were 42 in 1991… respectfully." -42 going on 60. -Crud Apatow -AI prompt: Robin Williams and Ted Kaczynski mashup -"I like long walks in the shadows as you walk home alone , you know your being followed but you can't see me I'm ""The Shadow wanker""" -Your brother literally came from space just to fuck your wife. Show: Last Man on Earth -"It’s the man from “The Joy of Sex”! Published 197-nobody-gives-a-shit. Go get a hair cut and dress like a grown up, ffs." -the look he gives teenage girls when the chloroform wears off and they wake up strapped to his turntable -You look like that beard is being held on by superglue to hide your identity because of a court-ordered ban from social media. -Someone can get this Discord mod off of our screen. -Mr. Roger's illegitimate son -this dude seems so chill -Robin Pilliams -You look like you were court-ordered to ride the trolley around Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and tell everyone that you are a registered sex offender. -Was wondering what ever happened to Bob Villa. -"You look great, dad." -The love child of Charles masnon and Hans Fritzl. -Shouldn't you be carrying a ring to get roasted instead of being roasted? -Charlie? Is that you? -You look like 4 different uncles and 2 of them are people I’m not allowed to talk to -Sniffs seats in spin class -You look like a cheap 80’s generic Zach Galifianakis -"Oh, captain of the USS Basementprise, looks like you've boldly gone nowhere for quite some time. At 43, medically retired, and with that getup, it seems your prime directive is to explore strange new worlds of indoor hobbies and make it so that no woman has gone before—within a ten-foot radius of you. - -Agoraphobic, you say? That's convenient because that sweater is enough to scare off any potential visitors, including sunlight. Your fashion sense is stuck in a temporal loop, and your beard is the only thing that's gone on an away mission since the '90s. - -And let's be honest, that ""Roast Me"" sign isn't a challenge, it's the most action you've seen in years. The only thing you're medically retired from is any form of social life, isn't it? Warp factor nine to the land of lost romantic opportunities. Keep that phaser set to stunningly awkward, pal. You're the final frontier of flirting failure." -"you look like you put in the work to escape the Amish, but stayed amish in modern day." -You look like the type of person that would stop me from bringing in a tote bag to a store but then feel bad and turn it around on yourself because you’re guilty conscious told you to -"I'm gunna look like you in 15 years, that's enough for me to get back into caring for myself" -Arent you supposed to be sleeping in your toy factory on the north pole -Stop Uncle Rupert that’s my no-no spot!! -You look like you would break out your favorite “wolf howling at the moon” shirt as a form of class when you go to the renaissance festivals which you call “the ren fair” -Dang. I’m 42 as well you just made me feel really young and handsome lol -"""Mr. Manson's Neighborhood""." -Wait I thought the Unabomber was dead -Charles Childson -Get your hand out of Sooty and Sweep you sick bastard! -"Don't you worry about a thing, Peter Twinkladge. You'll look right cute up on that shelf in your red hat & PJs." -When you get Robin Willaims’ Good Will Hunting on Wish… -Tandy! -Have you ever sat BETWEEN TWO FERNS ? -Mr. Roger's creepy brother -Poor mans Mrs Doubtfire. -Next time just say you like ASD Burgers. It's the code. -If Mark Corrigan and Gerard had a love child (peep show reference) -"You look like Zach Galifianakis's older, less successful brother, a la Jim Belushi but even worse" -"Bro Shave your bead off and a better haircut, you're 42 but you look like you're 57-65. - -& yeah, wear a plain black t-shirt, that outfit is grandpa from the 70s." -Snarley Manson -Dude I’m 42 and look 10 years younger than you. Did you smoke meth for half your life? Were you a bikers girlfriend for a while? -This is where Robin Williams got inspiration for the Fisher King. -42? 42 what? CUZ IT AINT 42 YEARS!!!!! -"You look like the illegitimate bastard child of Will Forte that had successfully finished rehab and is 5 years clean. Maybe one day you and you dad can finally hang out, even if you two are the ""last man on earth"" boom." -"Fat fingered you title, 62 is the number." -alan from the hangover -80s robin williams! You came back -42 going on 80 -Santa claus from walmart -patrick rothfuss out here doing literally anything else than finishing his series. -"You're kinda like Robin Williams, except Robin Williams' death was a great tragedy and he will be sorely missed." -"That Justin Bieber swoop ain’t hiding that receding hairline lookin’ ahh boi. Elmer Fudd with a beard and wig lookin’ ahh boi. Fingers straight as hell, got them all lined up, at least something is straight about you lookin’ ahh boi." -"You look like the love child of Robin Williams, Mr. Rogers, and Kramer" -Looks like you are poor as you can only afford clothes from a thrift store. -"You look like you sound like British actor David Mitchell and you talk about your love life about ""being rogered up the arse now and then""" -Average history teacher lmao -The illegitimate love child of Robin Williams Mr. Rogers -"Mom, can we get Robin Williams? - -We have Robin Williams at home. - -The Robin Williams at home." -"There are times when words within the English language can not fully describe the sentiment needed to convey the required meaning. - -Sometimes we may make up words that are close but give you the gist of the necessary flavour of emotion. - -I would say your face is best described as eunacally impotent." -"Don’t go to the theater tonight, Mr President! It doesn’t end well!" -You look like Charles Manson trying to be mister Rogers -The Geico caveman is everywhere these days.  -We don't need to make you regret it. I'm sure using the internet is a parole violation so your PO will do that just fine -You look like a divorced history teacher from the 1970s -If Charles Manson & Mr. Rogers had a love child… -"Old Saint Nicks son or maybe Paul Bunions. Can we ask your mother, who your father is ?" -"You typed a 4 and not a 7 when stating your age…. - -Inheriting all of your grandpas stuff doesn’t mean you have to USE all of his stuff……… - -Honoring your grandpas legacy does not mean visually……. - -You must have started yelling at kids to get off your parents grass when you were still 17 because FUCK YOU LOOK OLD !!!!!!" -I KNEW Charles Manson wasn't really dead. -Friggin' turd. -"A high school science teacher, Married for 15 years and divorced now, you have 3 daughters who hate you and yet some how still a virgin. Stop me if I'm wrong??!!" -"Papa Smurf thanks you for imitating him, very flattering indeed!" -"I’m 8 years older than you, but you look like my grandad…and he’s been dead for 15 years" -Result of mr. Roger's fucking Robin Williams -Red green that has the handymans secret weapon for something else  -“I am wearing the clothes my grand father died in” -Mike from list 25 -I'll bet you slow down in school zones. -42 going on 83 with that look -Didn’t know Manson had a doppelgänger -You look like you co-star in the Direct to DVD sequel to The Lovely Bones. -Zach Galifinakis’ much less famous brother Donnie Galifinakis. -Even Chekov’s wig looked better than your hair -42 and still a virgin -Mr Rogers as a werewolf. -"For The Australians out there, it’s Don Burke with even worse sexual deviancy" -Is medically retired a euphemism for chemically castrated? -"Jesus christ no. 1.,Will Ryker, I'm sad for what happened to you post star trek enterprise." -42 years old in dog or human years? -Paedophile. -You look like a Dead Poet Society reject. Like if Robin Williams fucked Mr. Rogers fucked a ball of pubic hair. -Mark E Shaw Jr it is -"Waiter, check please!" -Irl Phillip Tandy Miller -Punchable face -Albert Einstein with a learning disability. -You need to be cast for the Progressive … becoming your parents commercial…. -"*It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, a beautiful day for a neighbour, I have to legally report that you will be mine, yes, you will be mine.*" -Mr. Rogers’ gay brother? -Q from impractical jokers mixed with Santa -The uncle that isn't allowed to be left alone with the kids at family gatherings. -Nah dude. You’re a badass. -Ever seen the hangover -bro looks like they in the hangover -"Billy Mays here, with MyRope!" -Is that Farraday from LOST? -Fleetwood Smack -I mean why even bother....... -"First thought was ""oh, he might age into that look by 35."" After seeing your age, at this rate, you might get there by 65." -Unroastable with style like that! -What a child-molesting Mr. Rogers would have looked like. . . -Mr Roger's vs Barry manilow...pick a wardrobe -Looking forward to Between Two Brain Cells -Brian’s Back -Was Chris Hansen as cordial as he seems on TV? -“WHAT YEAR IS IT?!” -You look like robin williams. You should complete the act -"42? - -Sure bud." -you look like one of the men that sent me unsolicited dick pics on snapchat when i was 12 -Did you come from a universe where Charles Manson never tried drugs? -You look like the wish.com version of Charles Manson. -Assistant adjunct who tells 17 year old girls at office hours “you’re an old soul.” -You got a swastika carved into your forehead hiding under that comb forward Charlie Manson Jr.? -"Looks like you are living in a god awful 1970s sitcom , which never made it past the pilot episode." -To boldly go where no garden gnome has gone before. -Mans built like The caveman from the Geico commercials  -"You make ""Star Trek: Discovery"" great again - -Your weapon of choice is the Butt'meh" -"Judging by the clothing choice and hair, I'm gonna say you were 42 back in 1974." -Mr. Manson's Neighborhood -Unabomber lookin ass -Paul Bunion -"You regret posting. -While somewhere a mother is regretting everyday giving you birth" -You look like mr.Rogers after that werewolf attack. -Gobbling Williams -"Trim yer beeeaaarrrdddddddddddd -You look like a wild man." -This guy looks like he’s seen more razors than vaginas. -"It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood, -A beautiful day for a neighbor. -Would you be mine? -Could you be mine? -By law I have to tell you that you’re my neighbor." -Robert DeQueero -Mr. Rodgers' crackhead brother -Mr. Bob Rossgers over here -Will forte? -Is Jerry Garcia your dad? Is this what he wore on Christmas Day? -42 in 1984 when this photo was taken. -The 70s called about a lost senior -"Whatever you're doing, you need to stop 42. It shouldn't look like 72" -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->A little about me. I was married for 20 years got a mutual divorce. We have remained good friends. Moved to another state. Lost everything, became homeless became addicted to meth and was suicidal. For almost close to 3 years been living at a wonderful treatment facility for 10 months now. I enjoy doing acrylic pours. I miss working with resin. I love all kinds of music most days I'm just watching TV playing Xbox or going to groups. - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Barely Quinn -You look like your healthcare plan is healing crystals. -If the T in LGBT stood for Trailerpark -"14 going on 45, you look like an SNL character based on the least popular girl at school in the late 90’s" -You look like something I'd win out a claw machine. -You look like anorexic Kelly Osbourne -Trans Drescher -"You look like your mom makes you wear a monkey bookbag, that is actually a kid leash, when she takes you to the mall." -I look forward to seeing you on r/saggytits -Spew Barrymore -You look………insufferable -When the lunch lady tries to fit it with the 5th graders -My what manly hands you have there. -Penny-not-so-wise -I wish they would take your post down. Out here looking ghoulish. You look like The Smurfs got lost in a snow storm and had to resort to cannibalism. -Rainbow Not So Brite -"Heroine called, it wants its needles back." -This is what happens when a midlife crisis pukes all over the place. -When your parents got a positive pregnancy test after conceiving you they posted the picture on reddits mildlyinfuriating sub. -Somebody watched Orphan and thought they could pull the same thing off. -Your favorite part of each day is chastising all the people who misgender you. -Kids: this is what happens when you fuck around with things like the tide pod challenge. Now knock it off! -Your ears are lower than your eyes ! Did you dye your arm pit hairs the same color ? You look like you have your pronouns on your dating profile . -What 12 year old did your hair and makeup? My daughter would like a reference -You look like Robert Wadlow and Harley Quinn had a crack baby -Your hair looks like if Barney had diarrhea -Harley Queef -temu version of harley quinn -Holy fucking shit -Post op? -A circle K cashier cosplay. -Rough. You look like a first draft of a person. -You look like you use natural deodorant -Why are you so upset by rejection? You’d think you’d be used to it by now. -"When you enter a haunted house, you probably come out with a job application because of how SOULLESS you look." -Good lord -"Sorry, we still see your giant ears." -Rainbow Fentanyl Brite -You are both too old and too young for blue hair. -You look like a Milkovich -You look like you're transitioning from dead to living. Give an update pic when it's complete. -"Last time you got fucked, was by genetics" -45 is way too old to dye your hair like a clown. -That hair colour is shiiit -Drew Careymore -If F doesn't stand for failure you're a man -Oh honey… -Gnarly Quinn -Grandma over here is a wannabe TikTok baddie -That's just what the ventriloquist wants us to believe! 🤔 -Harley Queef -Gru Berrymore -With ears like that you make even Dumbo jealous. -"Yes, you're old" -Recovering heroine addicted Oompa loompa -Harley-Queer. -You have the fashion sense of a 4 year old -when did you start the transition? -i know you do crystal -This is the adult version of a fidget spinner. -Harley cringe -"You never grew up, did you?" -"What a poor unfortunate soul. -The hair screams “look at me” but with a face like that, no one can." -"Purple hair. Mental illness, confirmed." -"F - -Doubt. - -Also, it looks like you are desperately trying to use ""I'm still young at heart"" to justify why you can't act like a mature adult despite being closer to the end of middle age than the start." -Gnarly Quim -You missed Portlandia by 20yrs. -Fucking hate the doodlebops. -ew no pls take this post down -Pippy on crack -Bad lighting on the porch -Peter Pan grow up -Gnarly quimm -Drew Barreymore had a kid with harley quinn and a bottle of xanax -The Wish version of Harley Quinn -Farley Quinn -The mother of all liberals -You look like the creepy kindergarten teacher that tries to trick the kids into changing their genders -Congratulations on your transition from female to the joker -"You look like a person given the nickname ""bubble cum"" by 2nd graders" -Harley Quinten. -Hate Me Quinn? -Your pics look like a painting by Georgia O’No. -I'm not sure what is more bipolar your hair or your face -"Hardly Quinn. - -Purple Pieman stalker. - -Rejected Crayola colour. - -Pick one lol." -You know what they say if you got a pussy there’s a guy that will stick it in. In your case that is not true. -Hardly Quinn -You look good for 45…psych -If meth and mental health had a face -Harley Queef -"If you looked any more sickly I’d call 911, for both your physical sake and my mental one" -You look like the broken Barbie from the movie  -I see you never grew out of your identity crisis phase -Gnarly Quinn -Harley Quit -Oh hunny you’ve been roasted for quite sometime now. Just take your jello and go sit down. -Nice flowers Georgia O'Queef. -Harley Queasy -Willy Wonka Stank Tank -You look like if Harley Quinn resorted to smoking meth. -Meth Tyson with those mitts -Definitely single -Whorely Quinn -Pippy on crack -Harley took up drugs really bad after the joker left now instead of beating people with bats she's beating people off for meth ☹️ -You look like Harley Quinn's long lost cousin who wanted to be like her -"Lay off the embalming fluid, your looking a little pale" -you look like you still haven't passed ninth grade and think Avril Lavigne is cool -You look like youre a chameleon trying to blend in with the wall behind you to become invisible.... too bad you couldnt. -Or smoking umàa -When you want to be Jared Leto joker and Harley quinn -You look like Harley Quinn inbred cousin -Hardly Quinn -Harley Quinn on drugs -Lose the filter then repost. -She wears those ball cupping underwears -Not my proudest fap -This is what you get after a fairy gets a laced batch of pixie dust -Multiverse Kevin McCallister. -This photo gave me a violent Inrection -You look like if Harley Quinn had a kid with the school janitor -Sniffy Longdroppings. -Stop ordering from TEMU!!! -Your mascara color is called dehydrated butthole -Amazing!! A real life Dr. Seuss character -Wish version of Kelly Osbourne -Meth-Quinn -*Straight out of Metherson County* -ITS MA’MA -Don’t ask us to roast you looking like you got shell shocked in India -Aging Naruto fangirl -This is why Roast Me is the best -Out of 300 million you were the winner 🏆. I'm sure ur dad's proud. -Willy Wonka and the ‘Goddamn You’re Ugly’ Factory -The transition is going well i see -I thought my phone was hacked when I see this wish harlequin -Love child of Harley Quinn and Barney -"Things that go ""boing"" in the night..." -"Are you trying to camouflage into the wall to hide your face? Great idea, poor execution." -"You could replace the sign with ""Help me"" and you wouldn't tell a difference tbh" -Midlife crisis hit that hard huh? -You look like a shit middle school teacher that insists on telling your students your ridiculously worded pronouns. 🙄😒 -I bet you’ve been self diagnosed with new things every three years. -"Hair color is not a personality type, dear." -Punky Brewster superfan -You know you’re supposed to clean dentures just like real teeth right? They can’t be neglected like you did your real ones. -Yeah you didn’t need the bio. Your face clearly stated all of that. Yes we can all see your man hands and arms. -What a handsome woman -Tf is wrong with you you made my baby cousin cry -You do not look 45 -If the trans flag was a human -Do you still have your weiner? -That hairstyle gives huge crazy vibes -"These are all great. Seems a little repetitive with the meth jokes, being transgender and the Harley Quinn jokes. Got anything more unique." -"You look like the person that saying an unicorn is your totem animal, lady." -Why do people want strangers to hurl the most hurtful possible insults at them? -Man hands -Your complexion is that of an iPhone flashlight -"Actually, not roasting you, but you're 45? I really thought you were younger." -The only roast I have is DAMN GIRL YOU ARE HOT! I am not a simp -Miss No Fap November -The Carnival left u behind just to be roasted poor u -harley quin but on wish -Take this post down you can clearly tell it’s not her arm or hand -Rainbow Dull -Dm me -You’re the old person in the club -Roast you why you’re a good looking man -Salvation Army Kelly Osbourne. -Just because you have a tiny dick that don't make it a clit -Hot for 45. Just saying. -You look like a trans Drew Barrymore -The local prostitute -….. I don’t want to… you seem fun -"Purple hair at 45 years old screams ""mental stability""" -🤡🪥 Not smiling for a reason -"Torebackula or crankenstien -I would hit it." -You look like K-mart Harley Quinn -How you 45 but look 85 and 16 simultaneously? -You look like a adult toddler -Onlyfans should pay you for not opening an account with them -Only poisonous animals are brightly coloured to warm others to stay away -You look like you stand in womens bathrooms to make tiktoks about your pronouns. -"I asked an AI to make an image of ""Finding Nemo braces girl going through a mid life crisis"" and this is what the results were" -You are definitely not allowed within 500 feet of a school -Kelly Osbourne. -You know how men often tell women “you should smile more”? Don’t -Was suicidal? Shame. -What crackhead Punky Brewster looks like in an alternative universe -"I 100% know that ""mutual divorce"" was completely your fault." -This is one ugly trans lol -I'm not going to lie you look like a deformed cricket -The crease between your eyebrows gave my dick a tummy ache -Kelly Osborne got a Lil fatter and a lot uglier -Congrats on your transition. You can barely tell. -Her bio was completely unnecessary to know what was going on in her life. -You need some rope to round out that outfit. -Straight out of Trolls -It looks like Sailor Ermergerd has joined the show -I can’t tell which way you’re transitioning -"you look like a nurse that stabs me 3 times in 2 arms looking for a vien, and then another nurse does it correctly in no time, but cool hair, man" -What the yuck… I just threw up allota bit in my mouth… -Sooo another age regressed ex junkie? -When you hit the randomizer on the character builder screen. -Sharty Quinn -You look like you're an old woman wearing the little girls skin. -"You look like you probably identify as a free handout, go by “they” and think we owe you" -"Okay, so finally we know how Harley Quinn would looks like after ten years of heroin addiction. I was honestly happier before." -You look 46. -"No, I will not roast you. It looks like god did that already." -I didn’t know Harley Quinn was on heroin -Phewee! Glad to know a midlife crisis isn't restricted to just men. -"I don't know what has more red flags, his bio or his pic." -smoker -Please take this post down. You can clearly tell she's not attractive. -"Yo, Manly Quinn, you misspelled 45M." -The yellow from your teeth are perfect backdrop for your purple hair -Peppermint Pap-smear -Junkie Brewster -"So tell me, how many of your kids friends have you taken home just because you want to ""feel something"" while desperately trying to cling onto your youth and forget about the trauma of daddy not loving you enough?" -Chris Farley Quinn -did you have to stop the acrylic bc you were snorting all the resin? -I'd happily fuck you -You are what trans look up to be.. -Really pretty for someone with dead eyes that's had sex for a case of ramen and $20. -"Someone left their discount Harley doll on the radiator again. - -Drink of choice : Crystal Meth Pepsi." -"On one hand, keep working it and getting better. On the other, you look like you have a really serious body odor problem. Anytime you aren’t wearing jeans, everyone wonders why they can smell ranch dressing mix." -Are you’re pronouns they/them -"You look like my teacher, I don't wanna roast you." -"Nah, You Beautiful,Love!!!... I'm 4yrs into my recovery from alcohol and dope(I been off the dope longer tho)... I feel You and I'm a Great "" Roaster"" but mainly I roast actions and clothes...I couldn't do it to You tho bc Idk You,yet and I think YOU'RE GORGEOUS 🤩😍🤩🥰🥰🥰" -Nahhhh I’m not going to. I’m proud of you. -But that’s exactly what someone who DOESN’T want us to know they’re using someone’s severed hand and arm for this photo would say… -"“Hello, there! I am a fairy. You are unaware of this. Please, I beg of you to deny me general decency so I can ply any goodness of your soul and use it to my gain. Thank You.”" -Horny -45 what?! -You look great and I thought your 23 . -Twilight sparkle!!!!! -"Ik ur here for a roast, But I wanna say good job! You are doing phenomenal so keep it up :)" -You look like you put xans in yo cereal 😂 all love. -No roast here. Congrats on being clean and you look amazing 🤓 -You definitely were a fan of my little pony when you were a kid -"Damn, she was already suicidal before this trashing." -I don't get the hand and arm thing wdym -"Going by your age and hair alone, I'd say you're a confused ""polyam"" who is quick to bail on anything as soon as it's inconvenient. You're alone now, and you will always be alone. You're always trying to convince your friends (myself among them) to join in on the next get rich quick scheme, even though we all know those phone recycling crap you read about hasn't been relevant since 2006. - - -Ooc: Congrats on getting sober. I know exactly how difficult and nasty that is. I encourage you to get back into acrylics!" -"I can solve this for you right now, dye your hair, back your natural color, go see a cosmetologist, to highlight your colors. You look like you might be a winter, smell, good, and dress and soft colors. I don’t know how old you are, but you’re too old to have that angry leftist bullshit haircut. I see real potential on you. Cut all the bullshit come to the party maybe buy a pantsuit a nice fleece sweatshirt when it gets cold, the a Hey cute pair of pants, a nice watch, which would be silver because you’re winter, come sit down and have a drink and bring that cute little smile with you." -"Your ugly as fuck, boom! Got ya bitch.. I'm kidding" -"No matter how you get roasted, don't even think about SU***e again. You can do well at this age." -I'd luv to babygirl -Dyed hair is silly and unattractive -Imagine being 45 and still buying hair dye -You look like you got into Depeche mode and meth at the same time -"Let me guess, ...they/them? 🙄 Sigh ..." -I'm a liberal Halloween Costume -"Are you trans, or just ugly?" -Looks like she was bent over a cotton candy machine while getting doggy -Drew ScaryWhore -The color of my veiny pulsating cock. -Trans Harley Quinn -Well done for getting off the meth. No roast from me today. Hope you can stay well :) -This is what happens when you full out Margit Robbie from cyberpunk 2077 -"U need a tan, but I like the hair" -Gay -You look like Liv Tyler if she discovered meth instead of acting. -"I was going to say: -Pick a hair color or no man will have you. -But, I’m a man and know men fuck anything. -Even you." -comment -"Shut up, Asian Meg" -Do yourself a favor and never use the phrase “my eyes are up here” -Proof that tits don’t make everything better. -Kung Food Panda -You wear low cut shirts because you think your breasts are your only good quality. You may be right. -When your entire personality revolves around your tits. -You built like a wisdom tooth. -"I mean... I have never roasted a pig before, but I could try." -Those are some impressive extra chromosomes. -Hurt by what?  The numbers on your bathroom scale? -Only Chans -Your lips look like & have the texture of a butthole -Me not so horny -This is the first two item combo I would ever turn down -I guarantee your tits hang down to your cock -You could start your own dairy farm with those udders -I’ll be damned. They really can put lipstick on a pig. -"I had a serious misconception that big tits and redhead can never fail, thanks for proving me wrong." -"Take off your glasses. Oh... wait, wait. Let down your hair. No: glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up." -Your only assets are starting to sag. -Got soy milk? -I wonder if I show my tits and say I like marvel movies boys will like me? -"Keep wearing that giant pair of sunglasses, beside a paper bag it's the only thing that can hide your ugly face." -"I look exactly like you when I stare into a spoon , it Tits n all" -There are more loads in your stomach than in your family's laundromat. -I can tell just by looking at you that you try hard when it comes to sex. -Is your name Sum Fat Ho? -I’d roast you but you’d burn like a tire fire -You would look better with a full face and a flat chest. You were dealt the opposite. 🫤 -"This is the second time posting, if I don’t see some pussy, I’m convinced this is a man." -Melons in the wrong body -I've seen healthier looking melons at a Chernobyl farmer's market -"You're the girl I'd fuck, but not tell anyone about it." -"The only thing worse than your hair, your face, your body shape, your personality, your handwriting, your complexion, and your future, is the fact that your parents are disappointed you’re not a doctor like they wanted" -wait a minute.... aren't you the shaved orangutan with the saggy titties that posted days back?  -"I’m a tit man, you’re a man with tits. Saggy saggy tits." -You should post these pictures to r/fatsquirrelhate. -That ass of a clevage isn't gonna hide your fat belly. -My tits are down there👇 -"Crazy hair, big fat tits, and Asian - -She had 3 car accidents just making this post." -Ol walrus looking ass -"If you would quit sticking the huge dildoes in your ass, you wouldn't be hurting so much." -Philippeen-O -Ok... imma tittyfuck you for the heck of it and then cut off my penis and burn it afterwards... -Mostly while trying to jog. -"And yes, the dictionary definition of butter face" -How much ya squat? -Lookin like albino panda -Why? -"There are no chicks with dicks, only guys with tits!" -Looks like you have an ass on your chest -Do you have amnesia? You posted a RoastMe last week -The glasses suit you well. It matches the size of your face. -You remind me of Assy Mcghee. -"Not verbally, but you do look like you belong on a spit." -Tell me you’re just wanting attention without telling me you attention -She took off those alien glasses and all I could think was “oh fuck an ACTUAL alien!” -I didn’t know Bobby Lee was transitioning -No amount of anal will ever make a guy want you -Not even cleavage makes you attractive -You've asked to be roasted 9 days ago. Your attention seeking is only overshadowed by the amount of tits acne you had as a teen. -Pepperoni nipples -Having big tits because you are fat is the same as having a fast car because it's falling off a cliff. -I'm sure guys date you for.your personality. -"Oh, you can be roasted, you’d be the main course at a luau." -Can't roast you couse you too big for any industrial oven -"I'm sorry that you have been hurt but definitely not enough, the pain in our eyes is not even remotely close to the pain you think you suffered" -Your right I can't sorry Megatron Griffin😔 -Your fashion sense clearly revolves around tricking drunk men. -You look like you ran in bleach your big glasses are a bit much to hide a small brain and that much plastic isn’t allowed here (not talking about the ugly ass glasses) -Pug face looking ass -If the carpet matches the drapes.... your trying way to hard. -girl why the hell do you got blue glass on with the blue lens just look at yourself -Nice tits but you need some chapstick fr fr -Of course we can roast you. We just need a bigger pan. -When do you get your Red Panda powers? -Just because they’re big doesn’t mean they are good. -You look like you smell like Fritos -Butthole lips -This is such a weird sub -"Why your bra on your eyeballs, cuz? What's wrong?" -Your bewbs are too big for that shirt cross line thingy -Okay then miss honey I shrink the beetle -you post these exact pics on skipthegames and no one calls -You looked better with the blue sunglasses on -Crusty asian meg from wish -idk momo had a cousin -Let me guess you have a condition for the weight? My suspension is overactive jaw bone. -You only have big tits because you’re overweight -Nice tits -Droopers might -Shut up with those bid ol' glasses asian rip-off -Jesús these comments are brutal. -CHUT UP -Bitch. -"Says fat women of 26yrs -Go eat some MEAT and vegtibles -I bet ur 156 kg💀" -"Question, what the hell is there to roast you about???" -I have literally shit things more attractive! If you and I were the last humans on earth.... well... goodbye humans! I wouldn't fuk u with your dick... -OF model meets discord kitten -Who's the Burger King that hurt you? - Yes I can with the big ass Goggles looking like SpongeBob over here -You look like a toddler -She’s the next one I’ve been Justin Bieber -She looks like an Asian kid that it’s too much rice - Sup -Walks around fisherman’s wharf yelling at stray cats to be more independent -We just roasted her last week. Now she's back for more. She's a masochist! -If red skull and Dame Edna had a kid -Two words. Mutton… and mutton. -"you make me miss the ex FWB of mine that got off on emotional damage, making her feel awful. - - if only you werent already at zero self esteem." -"Your right. Getting one dude for you would be hard enough, I couldn't imagine getting two." -How’d you get that hair color? Period blood? -Bolo Yeung with bitch tits -Never knew the whale moby dick had hunted was still alive and condensed into a human form -Your OF subscribers pay you to keep your clothes on. -I don’t think roasting someone means we have to make racist comments ppl!! Smh!! -Your ancestors were bush/tree camping. Ching Chong meg looking ass bro -Blue blocker knockers -So fuckin ugly -Ugh I cringe but I could sleep on your chest and be so happy -Fat bitches bragging about having big tits is like unemployed mfs bragging about having the day off -You know she’s getting waaaaaaay more action than anyone wants to admit 😂😂😂 -Egghead -Make your father proud. -ALWAYS WATCHING YOU WAZOWSKI -If Fiona from Shreck came out of the cartoon world -After roastme: starting new OF site -If you been hurt so much why would you do this -Lorax glases -Are you using wires in the first picture to stop you from falling on your errr um... face? -"With a body like yours, who would hurt you?" -All yuh will be good at in life is being f**ked on camera and probably most likely win an AVN Award -You're as fat as your sunglasses -"You’ve been hurt enough? - -Was it anal at the porn casting, cause I hear that can hurt, or was it cause your Stepdaddy was the casting director and you still weren’t picked" -"Just because everything else is big, doesn’t mean eyes will be big as well. Unless it’s covering a unibrow?" -How is it the glasses are bigger than your saggy tits? -Doable superfly -Elton John glasses. -"That's true, roasting you would lead to a grease fire. Repost when you've lost some weight, we'll try again." -"As the years go by and the hurt heals, there becomes more room for hurt again!!" -How often you need to be roasted till you're validated? Just start your OF already and make some money you hose beast -Me no wanty egg-whol I wanty massage now. -"The sad part is; your eyes are wide enough to actually clear the bridge, with room to spare." -I really like those two big round…shades -"A fire hydrant with glasses, that’s original." -Rohnrey Frans -We “can’t roast you” because there’s no way you’re fitting in the oven with those not so fun bags -Well at least you will never drown. -Why do you have to drag your eyebrows down with you? I know you've been hurt but those pair of tweezers did nothing wrong to you. You can give the tweezers a chance. -Eating away your hurt feelings I see. -"Post the OnlyHams link, and move on. ""You're as useless as tits on a boar""" -Tit So Long. -Tig ol' Bitties -You could have single tittedly saved the Titanic. -Take off your bra and you’ll fall over. At least your glasses make your chest look smaller. Are they big cuz you’re fat or genetics? -"Well super smart to beg for more. Looking for Ike for a husband too -." -Cum glasses -i can downvote you. how’s that? -"I've roast plenty of pigs, don't see why this would be any different." -With a face like that I'm pretty sure you have amazing tits... gotta make up for something. You should show them to prove my theory. Pick up that shirt and put it over your head. Leave it there.. -OnlyHams -You're breasts are the only thing about you. It's not your ego that needs a reduction... Noooo -migr- ANT -Built with giant flotation devices because no one would dive in to save you -I love motor boating in the winter. -"A glutton for punishment, but mostly just the glutton part." -Pag pag eating looking ass -"Sorry, I don’t dig on swine" -Whatever you’re in the mood for… she’s always Down -I don’t know how I feel about roasting some one on the spectrum -"Shitty dye job, check; egregious cleavage to distractvdrom your dead eyes and downy face, check; quirky personality, check; so which one of your family members was it that finger banged your asshole and gave you your mental illness?" -Those glasses are worse than ridiculous ties -I bet ur as bad at math as you are at driving -When an OF advertisement backfire -These images scream “common rarity” -"OP is right, though gonna take a lot more than just rosting" -"The text book definition of ""I have one thing going for me""" -4 eyes and u still can't see that ur a dumb piece of shit -FFS Just 8 days ago this Wonka reject was on this sub.. -you look like the type of person too poor milk first then cereal 🫠👍 -"Such big glasses you wear... All the better I can't see shit i don't know shit... ""plz don't blow her house down""... It's only fair if the pig joins in." -"Idk sweetheart, you look like a lot of broads my uncle Mike roasted between '68 and '71." -"Well, I'm sure your knees hurt." -"You know what they say… big glasses; big… oh, wait…" -"Could you just… I don’t know, not eat for like two months? Kenya is in trouble right now." -The glasses are the most appealing thing in this pic -Just post your only fans and go. -The front of your teeth have the same depth as the tip of your nose. -I would never say anything to hurt you -"I may not be able to, but my Grandfather roasted your entire village." -"So yeah id probably rail you, but i certainly wouldn't tell anyone. Kinda like a sympathy fuck." -I don’t feel right roasting the mentally disabled. -You have to pay Only Fans members to watch you. -"Keep the silly glasses on, you look better" -"The largest to smallest list goes: -- tits -- glasses -- future" -Your hair is fried -This beached orca gotta be Moby ick! -Baboy -Another butterface -Bad back by any chance? -You look like me dad -"Damn what the Fuck is this goofy ahh dusty musty crusty child of Peter Griffin and Amouranth if you don't get you're goofy ahh ginger Meg Griffin lookin' ass outta here like bro shut yo bitch ass up ""yOu CaN't RoAst mE 🤓"" -SHUT THE FUCK UP -A South park fan came up to you and sang Kyle's mom's a bitch -You're hair looks like a chilli pepper -You look like Peter Griffins long lost cousin -You look like the equivalent of the person that goes ""oH iT WoN't HuRT *snaps fingers* ahhhhhhhhhhh"" -I'm done please reddit don't suspend my account I'm not trying to bully anyone the subreddit is literally called r/roast me" -Your pussy smells like crows feet -We can’t roast you because you’d end up eating that too! -You look like you go to local rock concerts trying to show off and get a band member to fuck you but they just laugh. Absolute bar buffalo 🦬 -This is sad. -comment -I'm guessing the game ended when you ate the ball -Getting High on the couch while playing FIFA street doesn't count. -I stand corrected: men CAN get pregnant. -Unathletico Madrid by any chance? -Jacking it in the bushes to little league soccer doesn’t count. -When you approach women do they just hold up a red card? -Playing 1 season of soccer in kindergarten doesn’t count -Were you the ball? -You again? Why would you post here twice in a row this is not a fucking buffet you fat pregnant man -Where’d you play? Foosball league? -The only thing on earth that's gayer than your outfit is your face -Ex soccer player. Current fatty liver patient. -"After all your other pants stopped fitting, you had to borrow your sister's kilt 🙄" -Present day dipshit. -"What soccer league did you play for, little Debbie’s?" -Username checks out. -You must love soccer to have your physique be a perfect circle -Mr. Beast XL -"Lookout, the Beer Drinkers for Jesus club just got a new president!" -No-Action Bronson -Press ‘X’ for Doubt. -You look like a generic Jeff Ross only more obese and less funny. -Wayne Spooney -David beck-ham-and-cheese sandwich -Your hat says American but your body says… well American. -"You certainly look like a lad that enjoys juggling balls, hands free." -You look like the white version of DJ Khaled -Taking balls to the face while giving a header does not make you a soccer player. -You realize you aren't getting actual beef here right? -"So now you're considered an 'ex soccer player' if you kicked a ball once? - -Seems like it would be difficult to kick a ball, when you can't see your feet without a mirror." -Was your job to block the goal with your belly? -Are you taking hormones to transition into a soccer ball? -I wanna see you try and take those rings off -"You roasted yourself enough by saying ""soccer""" -Pub team ⚽ 🤣 -Potbelly Pete over here -Had to give it up as you couldn’t be on the pitch without your belly being offside… -Was the ball made of cake? -Yelling at the TV while gambling away your future on soccer games isn't the same as playing. -And future 4th rock from the sun -"Little league was a while ago, you peaked at 8 years old." -"Bruv, you turned up *one time* on a Sunday morning, half-hungover, and ""played CB"" which involved playing every one of their strikers onside, jumping once from a corner, misplacing 3 passes to your full back. AND you probably threw up halfway through the first half as well... - -That dont make you a footballer" -Ex bench warmer -"We really do live in a time when people can identify as anything, and yes, it's your right to self identify as an ex soccer player. Why not identify as handsome and charming too while you're at it?" -They pregnant. -He swallowed the ball whole. Do push ups and cut the carbs man. Jeez -Gut Cassidy -Soccer star at 10. Today winner of Nathan’s hot dog eating contest and the sallies pizza eating contest and Betty crokers cake eating contest…… -"You like your women like you like your t-shirt neck.. -Stretched, wrinkly, and stained" -"If you're wondering whether or not those shorts make you look fat...Yes, yes they do." -What position did you play? Left bench? -So you ate the soccer field? -Bet you were a great goalie you fat fuck. -How far along are you in your pregnancy? -What position did you play? ball? -How many loads did you have to swallow to get that belly? -When are you due? -Playing fifa doesn’t count bro or you let yourself go. -Are you on maternity leave? -Is discord moderation a better side hustle for you -"You aint big ramy, you big mamy dawg" -Hiding the soccer ball under your shirt these days? -Skibbity bop bop bop yes yes yes yes skibbity skibbity bop bop bop bop yes yes yes yes -"Ah, I see Goodwill was having a sale on their entire mens section" -You mean Foosball right -It’s Mr. Obese’st. I love your YouTube channel. -Looks like he hangs out in the local high school parking lot trying to sell skunk weed and fake id's- hide you're daughters -Damn who shot the couch? -"I played a U16 game once back in the 90’s. Guess I’m a soccer player, too. - -You look like a ball enthusiast." -You look like a scamming talent agent. Get ready for a law suit in 2028. -Did the ball go through your belly button? -Soccer nah league player for sure -It looks like ur transitioning into a literal soccer ball with that gut -Playing soccer in middleschool doesnt count -Not ex lol...u still play soccer with your tummy...liar! -"The last time this guy saw his dick, Clinton was still president." -"Keep it up man you'll have those rings embedded to your finger fat soon, good work" -You took “feed me the ball” way too literally -What position did you play... the ball? -Your belly button looks like a sink hole on a sand dune -You look like you're the entire midfield (I put on 40lbs when I stopped playing) -There’s no fucking way your belly button is the size of a baseball. Wtf did you stuff your shirt with? -"No goalie could defend the size of that belly button, bro." -I applaud you for the American spirit teletubby you sure got it he look of an average American -Were you the timer guy? -"You look like a mid life crisis Mr Beast if he lost all his money, ate all his chocolate and went on a week long bender of PBR and krispy kreme" -I think you mean fusbol -Bro was immediately a goalie. -You not suppose to eat the ball. -are you the one that brought the ham to Tottenham? -Someone please tell me it looks like that dude who shakes his stomach to that song. Post him -Playing FIFA on your PlayStation doesn’t make you an ex soccer player. -Ex soccer team…when’s the last time you saw your feet? -"You played football once, when you’re 5 years old… at most!" -Where is the teams? Where is the team- you didn’t Dahmer them did you? -Were you the ball? -You look like you failed the KORI to be a middle school girls soccer coach. -Ex AYSO player* Been pounding beers and trying to be cool since high school. -"Voted ""Most likely to get kicked in the shins""" -3rd grade soccer? -"Oh yeah, I used to play FIFA all the time also." -Did you hide some balls under your tshirt ? -Looks like Ricky gervais really let himself go -Fat mac -More like Ex sucker player -you watched ted lasso and based your life off it -you watched ted lasso and based your life off it -Do u mean FOOTBALL -stinky gervais -Do you mean FOOTBALL -stinky gervais -Bro is that cold palmer -Let’s me guess you were the goalkeeper since middle school -Ex soccer player? Sure. -Ex soccer player? Sure. -Ex soccer player newly expectant mother of triplets…score! -Its a trap! -you mean sumo? ur hot btw -you watched ted lasso and based your life off it -He kicked a soccer ball once in kindergarten and then ate crayons. Cool story bro. -Crying in the ground pretending you are in pain doesn’t mean you played soccer. -"Running across the field with security chasing you, doesn’t make you a soccer player" -Would play with balls. For football humps -Nice to see your baby is still cooking girlfriend! -Oh look a donut haha made you look -Now you take your sons little league games very seriously and throw tantrums when he loses. -Did you attend the Golden Corral soccer academy? -Congratulations on the twins unc -Black hole of a bellybutton -Hey it's obese Mr beast. You'd be more successful if you'd stop eating all that food you should have donated to those hungry orphans. -sir the hats not going to hide the balding. -Did you eat the entire team? -you look 40 AND 16 -Ex soccer player? Why? Still look like a perfectly kickable ball to me -Wayne Ballooney? -Too much to roast -Did you mean ex soccer ball? -"My foot accidentally came into contact with a soccer ball once, therefore I am a former soccer player." -"You already hate yourself enough if you picked that outfit, my dude" -Delicius jr -Of course youre in the kitchen -"Guess you have been heck of a defender, -all those balls went straight to your belly." -So you are now a pie-eating champ? -*Ex soccer ball -New York Red Balls? Colorado Rabies? -Am gonna guess goalkeeper -You should try making Skibiidi yes yes viral reels -You look like you used to be really cute before life gave up on you. -"High school football doesn't count dude. -Ps. It's football not soccer!" -Lookin like a bag of milk -"I can see the horrified expression your t-shirt has. Its holding back quite a bit, and its almost as shocked as i am. i'd roast you, but all i have is normal-sized ovens." -Soccer 🙄 -He means Foosball guys... -Ricky Gervais got knocked up! Apparently also thinks he used to be a footballer 🤣 -Well i understand that soccer is not that popular in USA like american f. and basketball etc. but this is blasphemy -Classic American guy -Looks like Mr Beast ate his friends for a challenge -Whatever you did to crusty socks - it's not making you a soccer player. -On fifa?? -You got that Ronaldo Nazario build after retirement -And how ex is that? A life before? -"Finally, we've found out who ate all the pies." -Bro put Ex in front of soccer player like we couldn't tell 😂 -Instantly think of that guy who gets huge plates of food and that shibby soundtrack accompanying it whilst bouncing his belly. -"ex-footballer? nah, more like an ex-surrogate mother." -Henry made defenders shake you make the legs on your chair shake -Nice dad bod bruh. You look like You're the life of the party -Now part-time dad -Ain’t no fuckin way hahahahahahhahah - You look like James cordon had a kid with Ricky gervais -Not the belly button looking like a kiddie pool -Ex soccer player for the bars and tripes lol -"Jesus called. He’s good with PR these days. Go ahead and put away the cross. Nothing personal, of course." -youre racist huh -I would roast you if there was any damn roast left -Did you park the bus? -Do all ex soccer players eat the ball and keep it? -Have you considered shopping for clothes in the maternity section? -"You look like Will Wheaton if he ate Will Wheaton. - -Will Eaton." -"Your my Cousin, Overweight. Not Heavily Overweight though." -Everyone was a soccer player in high school gym dude -Not any more. You could fit a bowl of soup in that belly button. -Don't roast him he will start rolling on the floor in pain -Congratulations! So is it a boy or a girl? -Lmfao -"Just because your stomach is shaped like the ball and is extremely kickable, you cannot make us believe you played soccer. Unless you were the actual field because that’s more believable." -Did you eat the soccer ball? -"The guy where some sympatetic people would say that he peaked in high school. Deep down those people do however know, that you never peaked and always were second+ grade." -Now you’re the ball -When are you due? -"I also was a soccer player in 1st grade, except I'm not fat." -Main character in an Adam Sandler movie be like -The correct spelling is “Sachertorte.” -Take a seat casey affleck the knees can't take it all at once -I see you kept the game ball -Current competitive Soccer ball eater -"You really didn't need to say ""ex""" -Wheelchair soccer? -"Emphasis on the… “Player” - -Wait. I think I messed up. Am I doing it right?" -Mr Beast's cousin That Guy Feast -The 6th grade soccer team was what 30 years ago? -That’s Jake Baldino -ex player or ball? -Playing as a kid doesn't count you know... -You mean football? Or as an American would you like to call it sock ball? Just wear shoes and call it shoeball. -"Time to stop cultivating, and harvest!" -You look like the pervy landlord in every movie -So you can touch your belly with your toes -Fucking Grimace here is the physical embodiment of an online troll. The only thing he runs for now is the comment section to relive his high school glory days. -"Your torso’s expression says it all - -😮" -wheres the cheeeeeseburgerssss randyyyyyy! -You look like you enjoy feet and balls -The cross will come in handy when you are having your Widowmaker heart attack. -"It looks like you ATE the Death Star, fatty." -"Soccer ball player - -Position: soccer ball" -I have nothing but respect for pregnant people -You were mostly benched and subbed in at the last minute. -What position did you play..the ball? -Now you on maternity leave?? -You can’t convince me there isn’t black mold growing out of his soggy divot of a belly button. -i bet you got depressed and ate your life away because the MLS didn’t accept you -What do you play now? Marathon eating sessions at the buffet? -Now your belly has turned into a soccer ball -Did you stop when you got pregnant -"See you got the match ball, mate" -"You ate the ball -Now we can’t play no more" -Ex gym goer as well I see -You look like Diego Maradona just before he died -Wayne Baloony. -No need to roast you’ve had at least 3 so far today -The men's and women's national teams will soon be punching you in the gut to recover their (soccer) balls. -Just cuz you sat on the bench one time before the coach cut you for being too fat and slow in 2nd grade - doesn’t mean you have ever been a soccer player -Or did you mean soccer divorced you because it couldn’t stand the sight of you naked anymore? -Did you have the winning ball surgically implanted before your retirement as some kind of going away trophy? -Didn’t know people came equipped with an airbag in the front. -Mr Feast -You mean ex-FIFA player? -Nice rings doofus -Cracked the starting lineup in the 2024 gyro cup -. -"You could play soccer again, f you’d just take the ball out of your shirt" -Ex soccer ball -It’s Enrico Polatzo -Soccer player? When you were 6? -Ted Fatsso -I think he means he is an ex-football. -One word: Ozempic -bro looks like the american r9 when 40 -Were you the ball before you grew up? -We all played FIFA -Waist Ham United FC? -"""He's got this cute Youth Pastor Fed Golfer vibe"" - - -- Literally no woman, or man, ever." -playing with your balls on the park bench doesn't count -"Best of luck with your career-change, but Solo Vodka-Pong doesn't have any leagues that pay." -From soccer player to soccer ball -Did you eat the soccer ball? -Pretty sure many teams would want you as a goalie. There won't be much space left to move around. -Someone please show him the red card! -You look like the groomer singer/pimp from a local tv show if he had a diet of mountaoi dew and doritos. -"You're not supposed to eat the ball, but if you absolutely must, deflate it first." -You look like the skibidi dop dop guy if he was white and Christian. -"You're not an ""ex-"" anything if you only participated in Kindergarten." -Didn't know Adam Johnson had been released? Keep away from those kids Adam! -Dude ate the ball ⚽️. -You're supposed to kick the ball not eat it. -You definitely never scored! -I swear you tried to sell me some stepped on coke in a pub toilet in York. -Mr. Beer belly -Mr. Bust -"Exactly what decade were those “soccer years”???? 00, 90???" -Ronaldo Nazario: American (USA) Edition -Ted Fatso -This kind of talent pool is why we will never win a World Cup -You have the body of the gym teacher in every animated series. -Is that the sea of tranquility or your belly button roll? -Coaching a peewee soccer team cause you want to eye the 5 year olds dose not count you post Malone look a like -Did you eat the ball? And the other team? -Did you eat the ball? -Gary Gout -Were you the ball? -"Ex soccer player, current soccer ball. Jesus Christ man, I like beer too but maybe you need to chill on it." -"You can wear the cross all you want but even Jesus’ miracles have limits.  - -Btw, did you cook your … ex team … in those two ovens behind you?" -Did you eat the football or what? -Monotit -Did you eat the fucking soccer ball ? -"You hid cameras in your guest bath, but your parents are the only ones who ever come over." -"Cristiano Doughnutldo. - -Edit: can't spell for shit." -You look like the uncle my parents wouldn’t let me loiter around at family gatherings -Previous life? -Were YOU the ball? -jerking off to the femalle players in fifa doesnt count -"Ex-elementary school soccer player. Obviously, he is allergic to running" -Ah yes from the green team -"The “ex” was apparent, thank you." -Did you… eat the soccer ball? -Damn.. What happened. -That's football not soccer. You dumbball -He ate the ball -Ex soccer player 💀 just cause they subbed you in for the last 2 minutes of the game don’t make you a soccer player 😭 -"Nice gunt, bitch tits." -At least your hat is in good shape. -How far long are you in the pregnancy? -Ever hear of a treadmill fat ass? -Bro took “Be the ball” a bit too far. -You look like Jason Kelsey post Taylor breakup -"Ex Kfc champion - -Honestly the last thing we need to do is roast you. We dont need that much fat in our life. - -Also just cause you ate the soccer ball dont mean you were a player" -Who’s the father? -Looks like Mr. Beast -Probably ex- a lot of things. You stink like failure. -"Ex soccer Player, or your ex is a soccer Player? - -Both false tho" -Touching yourself while watching your neighbors kids play soccer doesn’t count -"You didn't have to say ""ex"" we already knew." -Did you eat the soccer ball? -"Fantasy soccer, right? Or Fifa." -"dudes the perfect goal keeper, you remind me of Nakanishi from tsubasa" -Quite a _heavy_ emphasis on the Ex huh? -"Slow down, PELE - -Someine tell this guy that just because he got arrested Streaking across the local h.s. homecoming stage wearing old Adidas cleats and jockstrap when he was 26 does not count as an ex soccer player, lol" -Ex soccer player? Where? In your belly? -As what? The ball? -"Damn, mister beast let himself go." -Guarantee this guy smells like sausage once roasted -You look like an entry-level opponent in a shitty golf simulator. -Your tummy is the soccer ball -Looks about right for Team USA -What position did you play? Full gut? -What happens when you order Mr Beast from Wish.com -Rec league keeper? -Circa 1943 -"not sure whats worse, that i can smell how oily you are, or the ‘im not a racist, but’ outfit." -Are you an ex-soccer player because you ate the ball? -nobody was mistaking you for a current soccer player -I thought that was Paul Wall the rapper 🤣🤣💀💀 -"They don't usually count the ball as a player mate, but you yanks generally don't do nuance." -"“soccer player ball” there, i fixed your title." -You look like Mr. Beast after he ATE the soccer player. -Were you the ball? -you’re a soccer players ex? -"Frok player, to ball" -Do you need a mental health expert to talk to? -"He's so bad, soccer divorced his ass." -"Being the actual ball doesn't count as ""playing soccer""" -Looks like you left the soccer ball in your gut -Did you eat the ball? -"“Active in these communities: male grooming” - -Just going to unfollow that real quick" -Future defendant in a childrens’ sports sex scandal. -What was your role? The ball? -Did you have to stop playing because you ate the ball? -the reason your hat only has 12 stars on it is because thats the age you dropped out of school -You must have played attack...the donuts. -You can't fool me Ronaldo. -Why did you tuck the soccer ball under your shirt? -YMCA? -"Oh you ate the ball, hence the ex player." -Did you eat the soccer ball? -Ate the ball whole? -"I think we are all ex-soccer players in one way or another, just some of us chose not to eat the balls. ⚽️" -"Jfc,I am actually speechless.By the way, when is your baby due?" -"Definitely thought that was a bag of blow first off. Second off, you’re the guy at the bar that says “my glory days would’ve come to me, but *insert excuse here* I was the top of my team, they fell apart without me.” Blah blah blah" -Dang mesi had a makeover -Fatass -"hat says American, ""soccer"" says American, while the state of your teeth screams British" -Did you swallow the soccer ball when you retired? Or did they use AS the soccer ball? -"I too played soccer, when I was 8 years old." -homie you kick soccer ball not eat it. -I’m also a former soccer player. I was on the green team -Looks like he ate the soccer ball ⚽ -Bruv did you eat the ball? -Were you the ball?  -Had a soccer injury when he was 10 and it was all down hill from there. -He was on the first season of “Welcome to ieatham” -"Ex soccer player - -Current heart disease enthusiast" -Were you the ball? -skibidi skibidi skibidi dub dub yes yes yes lookin ass -Ryan Hull you were an even bigger loser in college than you are now -Ate the field thinking it was a salad -you're not soccer player. -Not a roast but are you as happy as I am now that Berhalter got booted? Dude was dragging us down so much. Pulisic deserves better. -He was the ball -"Former soccer player? Bro you gotta let little league go, court ordered...The parents are seeking justice" -How far along are you? -Did you eat the ball? -Looks like the cover of a comeback single for an early 90s white rapper that had a hit single -Did you eat the ball? I bet you ate the ball. -Also look ex woman. -Mr. Beast if he was a pe coach -Let me guess you ate the ball? -"Define: ""tubby""" -comment -New Deli -This is the genie that comes out when you stroke your McFlurry three times -When are you due? You look like you are already able to breastfeed. -Hot Dog Millionare -25 year old with the body of a 52 year old -I can see the baby kicking. -I’m not roasting anything for you. You’ve had enough. -Bro taking up half of India’s natural resources. -You look like the grown-up version of the swollen bellied child that I didn't sponsor to cure their malaria. Money clearly well saved. -FYI an inverted nipple is an early indication of breast cancer and posting a topless photo on RoastMe is an early indication of brain damage. -You look like a 45 year old who’s had a daily slurpee for 20 years. -Definitely going to need a bra this summer -"Did you grow your gut to distract from your weird, slitted nipples?" -Nice titties dude. -You need to leave roastme and go to entiresideofbeefinme -You been hookin for cheeseburgers again Randy? -"Holy shit bro, you are indian or india is you." -"Your picture can be described by one sentence -- ""WHY DID YOU REDEEM!!!!""" -"FFS, stop drinking cheap beer. It looks like you are expecting triplets." -Life has already been brutal enough to you brother. We're pulling for you! -You ate the Whole-Deli. -When is your baby due? -Put a shirt on please 🤣 -Pronouns are lbs/kg -"You look like you chew tomato soup.... - -... - -. -. - -..... -. - -... - .. then beat your wife" -Samosa Joe -I almost envy your confidence sir. To post a picture like that for the world to see. Just wow. -Onion gut-bhaji -"How cute, how many months are you?" -Gender reveal party should be a spicy affair -Add a NSFW tag with those titties. -Honestly you look like an overweight gipsy. -Were you the inspiration for that Simpson episode where Homer thought he saw a ghost but it was Mr Burns all radioactive  -i thought you were Mexican bro. -"You look like you were the bottom caste, but you ate all the rest of them and are now at the top. - -The Rajmunchkin." -You're an alcoholic with cirrhosis of the liver. -Out of shape for 25 -You’re face says “I’m a drug dealer” but your body says “I’m a lazy single bastard” -"How is it I can see your ribs, but you can't see your own penis??" -"Your life is already sad as it is, so I will refrain from commenting anything humiliating for you." -Rancid sack of cum -Probably 25 slumdog years ? -It’s a shame you aren’t more recognised in the uk. I’ve a feeling the king would give you and OBE(SE) -"Lay off the milk and cookies bruh, you’re almost fat enough to play Santa." -"Danny Trejo’s cousin, Danny Fatso." -This is where chocolate milk comes from -This picture practically roasts itself. -Type of mf to be like “women aren’t the same these days” -You look like the kind of guy I would have my niece and nephews stay away from. -This is the only way you will get any kind of attention ever. -"Just because you work in IT doesn’t mean you have to NEVER move, lift more than a mouse, go up some stairs, refuse to shower, talk loudly on an elevator….." -A lot of negative comments here. So I’d like to give you a compliment: I really like how your belly distracts us from your face -"You're 25 with a gut like that? - -No need to contribute to a retirement plan, enjoy the money now while you still around to." -"You look like you run a secret, underground tech support service where you beat this shit out of women if they don't help uninstall enough viruses." -Your odor must chip the paint off of walls. -You look like you have more parasites than teeth -Indian?! I think you mean Alien. You look like E.T. in basketball shorts -You look like my 68-year-old chain-smoking father. Only much fatter and uglier. -Like a hairless telly tubby. -You ate your siblings -Cover the face up and you might have a decent side hustle on OnlyFans for peeps in the Pregnant mature Indian category. -You might want to chill with the alcohol -Big fan of your work in the Men in Black movies -Look at this coonjabi -I was going to be brutal but I have too much respect for pregnant people. -Never go to Iraq -Looks like you’re harvesting tapeworms -Forever pregnant -No need to be brutal. You're doing that to yourself. -"Life is going to be brutal, the reddit community can leave you alone" -"Men can get pregnant now? Huh, 2024 I guess." -None of your gods had mercy on you -All your pants are basketball shorts -You can open a restaurant called Bhav’s Burgers -I think you need to be dewormed. -"First off, put a shirt on. That twisted my mind like eating salty licorice fish." -Remember those videos of starving kids in Ethiopia back in the 80s? -Dude what the fu** have you done to yourself. You look like a pregnant man. -"Pretty sure you got your age backwards there. Also, it appears that you’re the type who’s not allowed within 100 yards of a school." -Found the Indian Homer Simpson. Get a script -ew -Less beer. -The universe was brutal enough. The odds of being born are 1 in 400 trillion. Imagine beating THOSE odds and coming out as this? -Today I learned that fat Indians look like Mexican tradesmen. -Diet -"I don’t know why people are critiquing your physique, average build for your ethnicity." -I have identified at least 10-15 fuckable creases on your body. Gross. -"You need liposuction, mate" -Fat fuck -25 going on 40 -Not sure if you're well fed or malnourished. -Indian or… Ethiopian circa 1985? -The mustache is an upside down goalpost for dem titties -your skinny and fat bro. -You look like your chest fell off and got caught in your waist band -You look like one of those malnourished Ethiopian women with their titties out in National Geographic -I’ve never seen a Mexican so embarrassed of his heritage to claim he’s Indian -You look like the 666th extra in a c tier Bollywood movie -"Okay but first, male or female?" -I’m not that fat and I don’t even take my shirt off to swim. Showing up shirtless looking like that is certainly a choice -How can you be skinny and fat at the same time?! PICK ONE! And get a bra... you a solid B cup homie! -get in the gym unc 😭 -If your body had any less muscles it would collapse into itself to form a black hole -This build is crazy -Your belly rivals the beer belly of some white guys in Appalachia. -25 going on 55 -You're American Fat. -Bro those tiddies... please start exercising a bit you're too young to looks like this -Did you eat a watermelon? -"Put a bra, no nsfw allowed" -Yeah can I get $40 on six and a pack of Newport 100s? -Based on this guys post history he’s probably getting off to all these roasts 💀 -Man built like a pregnant 10yo native child -"I, too, had the exact same body type back when _I_ was pregnant. How far along are you? Congrats, by the way! 🥰" -"Guy said he was from New deli but I think he just meant, the deli." -Am i pregnate ? -O’l baloney nipples. -You look 9 months pregnant with swollen breasts. -200 missed calls from the gym fatass -"Nice try, but I am not roasting a pregnant woman." -Congratulations is it a boy or a girl -How many months in -The Indian cheeseburglar -Bellywood -You look like your dream job is to be a manager of one of those spam call centers. Yes i have Medicare part a & b I’m above 50 just stfu and stop calling me. -Nice tits shame about the face -"I ain’t ever seen a fat Indian, you must been adopted" -25 years old and you look like a 40 year old virgin uncle scammer. -You need to leave roastme and join entiresideofbeefinme -"You look hard but can you cook? Like, anything?" -You got kwashiorkor -"if your personality was as robust as your man tits, you'd be the life of every party instead of just the buffet line." -You look so angry you could beat a man with a shoe. -Aw is it a boy or a girl you’re expecting? 😍 -damn mutahar really fell off -How many months pregnant are you ? -David been eating -Pregnant Ice Cube variant ordered from Temu. -"You look like the stunt double for E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, or if one of the aliens at the end of the movie Explorers mated with a human." -How many letters in the Hepatitis alphabet do you have? -"I might try, but my brutality can never possibly match absolute, ruthless cruelty of God he was engulfed in while creating you" -Lol body by the west -"I’m sooo glad I came out of the womb a lesbian, lord help all you straight women!" -Are you hiding your snake in your belly ? -Can I get fifteen half eaten samosas to go gnome sayn -"I knew there was a movie about a guy giving birth! What is that movie title? ""Milk is Coming In""?" -You look like you're about to belt your kid -"I've never felt better about myself so fast. I also realized I need to put the liquor down and hit the gym, or I'm next." -seedy Gonzales -"Your body, your choice … but I’ll personally pay for this abortion." -Bro you're only 25...for what like the 2nd time? Damn talk about poor life choices. -Scarface if he stayed poor -You have sepsis. Your nipples are rejecting your body. Fuck that baby. -The genetic lottery was brutal enough to you bro. -Yikes -This is literally my skyrim character when playing around with the sliders to make an ugly character -Why do I need to be brutal when the pic speaks for itself -You have the body of King Louie from the Jungle Book -Om 9th month ❌ on 12th month ✅ -Can’t get any ladies so you grew your own tits to play with. -looks like someone put out a fire on your ugly ass face with a pitchfork -"Wow, I feel bad for you. Okay, I won’t redeem the voucher, it’s yours" -"Genetics were already brutal, homie" -Hi there tubs mahal -Idk if I wanna titfuk you bc then I gotta raise the baby -Abortion approved! -Someone fucked a bag of soup and this is what was born. -Congratulations! When is the due date?! -"How often do you have to say: ""Hey, my eyes are up here!""?" -"Which month of pregnance, 7-8?" -If you don’t get your zesty ah man out my face. -Your Pakistani neighbors view that pork belly of yours to be halal. -Somebody tell this guy he's allowed to take a shit more than once a month. -We can't be more brutal to you than life's already been -Basket ball eating walrus ass motherfucker -who’s the father? -"You got a fat gut, brother" -"Typically it is your people who are eaten by the large alligator. - -In your case, the reverse." -"If you don’t get ahead of this situation it’s bound to get worse. For real, you’re 25 with a full spare tire. Get that shit under control, my dude. Eat better. Eat less. Walk a lot. A lot." -your tits are the smaller version of your stomach -"I would roast you, but I don’t eat roasts that have that much fat on them! I like lean meats!" -You look like those bowling pins 🎳 and I can't unsee it -hot dog summer -You like your holding a crap that's over a hundred courics -Congratulations..25 weeks ? Do you know if its a twin ? -you can't see you bollywood due to your bellywood -Are you gonna give birth abroad so the kid can get a decent fucking passport? -As brutal as McDonald's was? -"24-36-24, only if he’s 5’3”" -Allah has been brutal enough to you or whatever God you believe in. -He looks like the poster boy for all indentured labourers -Even the 70 virgins turned you down -I can’t be anymore brutal than your appetite for cheap beer. -Youre a prime candidate for hire at your local police department. -25 going on 55 -What bridge do YOU gatekeep? -Mr Klinefelter -You look like shit -8O -Could you mark it NSFW -Too much sex -RANDY ? -You know the slushees are not free right? -“Which one of yall is neeble” lookin ass boy -You have the exact body shape of the weird yellow paedo in the Sin City movie -Roast? I'd rather smoke that big Ole brisket -"""You too can have a body like this"" - -(If you eat 10 bowls of Doritos washed down by 10L of Mountain Dew per day)" -Boy or girl? -CookKata -You'd be a sex offender but all the girls can out run your fat ass. -So the guy that puts tik masala in his tacos came back for more. I sense a trend in your habits. -"He’s 25, but his stomach is 55" -We know who ate all of Gandhi’s leftovers -"He's got a 8 month Curry Baby on deck, should of had him pull out Aptar!" -Are you pregnant? -Danny Trejo has another child! -You're what would happen if David Blaine encased himself in ice cream and spent three days eating his way out. -You look like the Indian Pablo Escobar but you ate the profit. -You look like you lactate without pregnancy -Congratulations on the new arrival! I’m so happy for you! -Shaped like you 7 months pregnant. -Pregnant for 25 years -Do you use slices of pizza to wipe your face? -Omg Congratulations!! -lay off the Baba Ghanoush -You don't look like you've taken a solid shit in your life. -3 innys -Worst human specimen -Your Gods beat us to it -"Had you not specified, I would have thought you were my customer service representative for Bell." -Bitch tits. Minus roids -Hello pumpkin pumpkin hello honey bunny -Yall on this nigga ahh 😭😭 -The god within you lives in your belly. -Go for a jog -Twins? Triplets?! -Why does your nipples look like they have crosses? -bro how many months has it been science u got pregnat -"If ""you shouldn't eat where you work"" was a person" -You look like you definitely waited to go to the bathroom a lot over the years -karma isn't nice to you. -muthetfuckas witha gut like dat' is definitely on the cheeseburgers dawg. -Looks like your parents had an arrangement wedding to regal cow that consequently fucked your ass and impregnated you -Fuckin mustard tiger. -When are the twins due? -I’m tryna get past the ‘belly blackheads’ ewwwwwwww! -Without the mustache you look like my pregnant wife. -What brand are your workout shorts? They look great for people who don’t work out. -Why does your torso look like it enslaved Anakin and his mother -"#YEEPERS, SHAGY…. THIS SHIT IS SCARY" -Wanted a baby before you complete your transition? -Pajeet -The pregnant ring leader if a grooming gang -If you put a bag over your head you could drink free at bars and clubs. -What's that Indian food that everyone there loves? What are they going to do now that there's none left? -what month is it? 7 or 8? i guess 10 LMAOO -You look like a fat idiot -"Peak India male physique, literally have the worst genetics for body’s in the world, only good at academics" -Really cool to see you take time away from talking to yourself in all those OF girls' DMs to post here on Reddit. -Ricely done. Na'an mean? -Apoo? -That belly needs therapy from all the pressure -"Well Deepdeep I can only say this,,, can you lose my number you Fucking scammer??" -light up light up skechers light up light up my world -You look like the poster boy for bulimia -Fatass -Not into cannibalism -Did it hurt when you swallowed that pillow whole? -when is it due -You look like a potato that I wouldn't even cook. -"25??? Jesus, I'm sorry bro 😞" -Why tf there's a butthole in your tiddies ?? what did you do? -Homie is a topographic map. Mountains on his torso and valleys on his face. -You look like uncle tell over Uncles about you touch everyone kids. I bet you try to go to the girls room so you can see little kids -25 months pregnant? -"We can't, God beat us to it🤣🤣🤣" -Get you a manzere put those titties away -Fat Buddha is real -"Everyone saying he's pregnant are too mean, then again, it looks like he ate the baby" -You should probably take those weight loss pills that you are trying to tele-market sell over the phone. -Pregnant that’s all -Hey if you guys think this subreddit is funny join r/adrianostudies . You won’t be disappointed -How many tapeworms you got? -Which pronouns are you using? Preg/Nant? -"I’ll roast you after brining, a basting of honey, a sprig of basil and nice Chianti" -That you Apu? -you look like you should have an apple in your mouth and really be roasted. Slowly over hot coals. -Wish your father was brutal with his belt -"You gained that weight by scamming poor grandmas all days long, isn’t it?" -"You know that whole tandoori chicken was to split between four, right?" -I love your work but where's your fez? -Scammers eat high on the hog -comment -Your two greatest enemies are the Sun and the police -No soul or father….. -Malcolm Mex -Looked like you got baptize into a bleach. -A black man with no soul? At that point why even bother getting out of bed? You don't even get the advantages of being black. -You look like you’d be disappointed if there *wasn’t* raisins in the potato salad. -Orange really is the new black -Black Ginger?!?! Strike one and strike two. Welcome to the U.S.A. -How’s it feel being a let-down to two minority groups?! -I bet you don't like anagrams. -You'll steal my soul and my TV -You're not ginger you're pumpkin spice -Ed Sheeran dark mode😭😭😭 -If Chris Tucker and Dennis Rodman had a butt baby. -"Nah, god already done you dirty, I’ll pass" -Mbappe from wish.com -Blinger -I've roasted cancer patients and amputees on here. Recovering drug addicts and meth head single mothers. But this is where I draw the line. Good fucking luck to you 🫡 -Pick a struggle. -What do you bet on roulette? -About to join the Blow Man Group. -Undercover albino -You look like an experimental skin for a video game character that didn’t make it past the test phase. -Carrot Stop…it’s da sound of da police -Looks like sometimes God punishes people twice. -"Life is rough. - -But for you it will be worse im afraid." -99%Jamal 1% leprechaun -How does it feel being the only black person without soul? -Both your parents settled HARD -Worst of both worlds… -I bet when St. Patrick's Day comes around you spit shitty mumble rap over bagpipes. -Even the TV screen behind you has everyone face palming.  -He still gonna be smiling after this knowing he’s better endowed than anyone else with red hair -Reeces pieces looking ahhh 😭🙏🙏 -Only two things scare you. A potato famine and a job. -Maybe we could find a new Lucky Charms mascot after all. -I see the radiation from Los Alamos is in full bloom -"if milo powder came to life, I’d imagine he looks like you" -Is that your stripper name? -"""What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"" was never this appropriate." -You look like a melted Reese's Cup -Join a circus -Does this mean you can get sunburnt? -"""They grow up so fast"" (Megan and Harry to Oprah)" -I just saw a.commercial for a new restaurant called Red Robber -So a soulless guy who can’t swim -so are you better at stealing other people’s gold? or still just as good? -All that RED 40 in the kool-Aid your mom was drinking when she was pregnant for you. -Is ur name Roulette? Cuz u can bet on Red & Black at the same time -Can’t. You just won the genetic lottery. The odds of being black and a ginger are lower than being struck by lightning 3 times. Coolest thing a ginger has ever done. -This is what the Royal Family was worried about… -Now there’s a bet I’m not willing to make. -Guy on the tv in the back looks like he just saw you post this shit and knows its over for you -You look like an abandoned ventriloquist dummy. -Black ginger squatting in Vegas. Fixed it for you. -"Mate I haven’t eaten a crunchie bar in years, I’d almost forgotten about them. Thanks 🙏" -Ginger plantation -You have definitely fucked your fair share of anime body pillows. -Soulless & soulful at the same time. Life must be confusing. -"Remove yourself from the photo and the lack of art on the walls along with a basketball game on TV would give me a 90% accuracy rate at guessing you’re black.  Add a shitty Glock and some weed on the coffee table for that last 10%. - -Try not to be a stereotype, Jamal." -"I assume you're dyslexic, you ain't the only ginger in Vegas going crazy" -Black Ginger. Great rap name. -Me at the roulette table: “I’ll bet on this guy” -You must bet on black and red -"sheeeeeiit, My Ginga!" -Ginger? Evidently you don’t know how to spell -Rearrange the letters in ginger -found the star of Leprechaun In The Hood 2 -Oh no! me Unlucky Charms! -You must've really fucked things up in your previous life. -The worst of both races… -You have a neutral amount of soul -u roasted yourself damn -A black ginger... so instead of stealing bikes do you steal souls? -So… the sun kinda hurts but you can still take it? -I guess eating soul food would be cultural appropriation for you eh? -Black Ginger? Are you rebooting Gilligan's Island? -Soulless and fatherless -The British are going to blow a gasket when they see you -Black Ginger is a weird way to say biracial -Because you didn't look stupid enough naturally you dyed your fro orange? -The guys in the TV behind you have to cover their faces from how fucked up you are! -"What happens genetically in Vegas stays in Vegas, except when your part of a traveling freak show Ginger Nuts." -"U think matching ur hair to ur skin color looks good, but u just look patchey and balding." -I’ve just left my Ghanaian Fiancé -My cousin skeeter -"Let me guess, the only girl to ever use you thought you were a battery for her dildo? " -Bro got punished twice -"I'm getting a kind of ""didn't completely shake the chocolate milk juice box"" thing here" -You look like your name is reggina…. -To complicated to roast buddy -Your future father in law will be so disappointed in his daughter. -Mbappe Trolling -Didn’t recognize you without the green hat. -#💀 -Magically Gangstalicious -Thought you were bald af -When Carrot top had the hots for those curvy thots on BET in the 90's -Ginger Crack -"Are you a cast member on ""The Got-no-Soul Train""?" -Carlton Banks fucked Carl Wheezer -"Your mom bet on black but it was red. - -Also she was probably a stripper." -You look like a Lego figure without the hairpiece. -"Do you spontaneously combust in direct sunlight, like white gingers?" -We call that a black and mild -Bro got double stacked with bad luck. I can't even roast you the sun does it for us. -You are an unlucky leprechaun that has to give up a pot of menthol cigarettes if captured. -"Ugly stick went to town on this fucker - -Must be difficult driving by a bar not knowing if it’s the fat red curly haired Bobby McGee looking fucker drinking his paycheck in the bar or the Red haired version of alkie Malcolm X asking for change for a 40 is your dad. - -The phrase sucks to be you has a spokesperson - -Converse wants their shoes out of the picture - -It’s possible his dna test results are being held up by the countries listed due to them saying “don’t blame us his mom drinks “ - -Leaves directions to the pot of gold at the end of rainbows at every home he burgles" -your Jordans are fake -Peanut butter chocolate Pillsbury dough boy -Muthafucka be comin on strong like trust the copper top lasts longer then before he even finish unzipping he be spraying his weak ass ginger ale all in his pants. -Do you like anagrams? -Yoo black Ed Sheeran get out Wayyy 🗣🗣🗣🔥️🔥️🔥💯 -Damn son… no soul and no credit. -chocolate orange is the worst chocolate flavour combo -"When you look in the toilet after taking a huge dump, and Mr Hankey is smiling at you. Tell me I'm wrong." -You’ll fit right other in with the magic tricks -Living proof that guys will fuck anything -ginger and black? pick a struggle -I thought this was a subreddit for amateurs…… - gotta love autocorrect -You ain’t black or ginger looks like somebody painted your head with mud… what’s up with that shit eating grin did you just eat the canary? -Thought maybe you had dyslexia at first. -💯Most common phrase said to you is “….huh” -Aren't you gingers supposed to stay out of the sun...wait a minute?? -Malcom Y -Bro I can't tell if I'm dyslexic or the My Little Mermaid directors -"where's your wig and dress, you look like you're about to go to an amateur drag show" -It's almost like your parents only got together for the sole purpose of having a fucked up looking kid. -"How many years ago did dad leave for milk and cigs? Doesn’t matter, I found him. He’s number 23 for the Pistons and his last name is Griffin." -"Ginger, is an anagram for how fucked up nature roasted you." -"1. Black ginger sounds like a trendy new seasoning that everyone is amped to try, until they find out it smells like burnt hair, and somehow tastes worse. - -2. Black Ginger sounds like a Marvel villain who’s always mad for no reason and has terrible credit. - -3. Tough break with the red hair. But at least God was kind enough to give even the non-racists a reason to hate you." -"No such thing as a black ginger. -WTF you got special pronouns too?" -The basketball players on tv even look disappointed in you -Can just have see through hair -How many golden showers did it take for the color to be permanent? -With that grin on yur face you look like you just gulped your boyfriends sac lunch down lolz -You look like you enjoy fried chicken with no seasoning -I bet this is what carrot tops butthole looks like -"The part of Carrot Top will now be played by Kevin Hart. - -P.s. How does that work? Do you only have three fifths of no soul?" -"Trying to find a GIF of David Alan Grier in Amazon Women on the Moon. ""Please donate to Blacks Without Soul"". No luck. I suck at internetting." -Black ginger wow! That’s like a shit taking a shit. -Pick a disability -Hey my gigga -"You seem as if you start every conversation with your best friend by snapping your fingers twice over your head and saying ""guuurrrlll....""" -You look like your mom's vagina ran out of toner after it printed your hair -"Black Ginger is a hell of a stripper name, but gurl, you ugly" -I’ve never heard of genetics having dyslexia -Ginger power!! -Even the people on TV are embarrassed for you -Denzel O’Washington -Isn’t being a black ginger enough? -Do you bet on red or back? -You look like you speak proper English with no slang whatsoever. -You’re are cute . Boom 💥 Roasted . -How come the first time I looked at him I was like damm myth really let himself go -Holy shit! I have never seen this before 😂 -I don't have too -the gingler -"Black gingers steal other people’s souls, right?" -You look like the black kid they put on university pamphlets to show diversity. -"Go crazy? nah, the barber beat me to it !" -"When God delivers you to Earth with 2 strikes already - - - - - - - -NGL Black Ginger sounds kinda badass lol" -Both racial debuffs maaan god must hate you -A black man with no soul. Tragic. -Bro looks like wallmart mbappe -I bet your nickname is Duracell -"That's unfortunate, I'm sorry for your loss." -Get him! -Looking like Malcom X’s gay nephew fr -Dirt Squirts: the male IceSpice -You moved to the right place for someone with no soul -"Wow, you got it twice as bad" -"It looks like you went all in while in Vegas, and lost the genetic lottery." -They make models like you? -Which WAG are you? -The stereotypes double -"Damn dude, God punished you twice." -"A black man with no sole, sounds just like your ancestors" -"A leprechaun who can't win anything in Vegas, pity." -Be sure and wear sun screen... maybe? -Ginger? Change those letters around and you’ll save some time -"Whatever you do, do NOT rearrange the letters in ginger...also when my ginger goes black it means it went bad. I just throw it in the trash" -Mbape 144 p -Ur already roasted.. -Do they cancel out and equal a soul? How does the you have soul vs consul math work out? -you look like Kylian Lbappe -Souls ain't the only thing you'll be stealing -battery. -You sound like a new flavor of Pepsi. -Shiny Mbappe -"Bro lost me at ""Black ginger"" bro is a rare species 🤣😭" -Jaffa cakes -Out here looking like a dried piece of shit 😂 -"You are not ""truly"" black. That skin tone screams of cream. Some cream got in your coffee." -Even wiped his eyes in disbelief…then kept them covered -"I didn't think God would punish people twice.. - But here you are." -"You are no ginger bread man, he was white ginger, you’re black ginger and you will be catching syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts, herpes and aids." - low Malcolm X energy. -Two negatives don’t always make a positive -Gross -The only person on a two-way in the racial draft. -Blinger sounds like an insult. You are a blinger. -bro is stuck on the streets times two -You’ll confuse the roulette players who won’t know whether to bet on red or black. -He went to a roulette table in Vegas and couldn't decide to put his money on red or black.. so he picked both -White guy trapped in a black body -Patiently waiting to be slapped by Will Smith. -You look like Carrot Top's illegitimate child. -The only brotha with no Soul. -"Black and a Ginger, if you are also left-handed you're literally the nightmare of every pearl-clutching person in the Victorian era." -God punished bro twice -Right where you belong my friend -You’re actually 3 roulette wheels in a trenchcoat. -"""Can we get a Spencer Rattler? "" ""We have Spencer Rattler at home""" -Must be the main attraction -Even Steph can’t believe -"ginger , sad" -You look like nesquick that wouldn’t dissolve -How does it feel being a minority and disabled? -"Pick a disability man, Ginger or Vegas" -Mixed*** -You’re the chicken thigh that got put on the outskirts of the grill while the other thighs were placed in the middle getting direct heat -Black (and red) jack -You look like a minecraft dirt block -"shh, the rare ginger sighting in its natural habitat.... if you watch closely, you can see its roots are also ginger" -He's the moat soulful and soulless person in Vegas. -No girl has ever told you are cute. Even rhe ones you had crushes on. Probably make less than 80K too -"You live in Vegas, the sky is the limit. That is all I got." -"You didn't need to write that you're black twice, dummy." -Kilbino Mbappe -How did you find a way to bet it all on black AND red? -Dude playing on extreme mode -The only guy who can claim he's Irish and from the hood -"Ginja, please." -So you couldn't play the fiddle and the devil won? -The lord Jesus done roasted you enough. -How did ya get that red hair ?!! -I want to. But I can't roast you. You're a handsome man. -"I don’t know what’s worse, a black ginger or you actually watching a Denver nuggets game on TV." -You’re a Blinger!!!! -You look like the least popular item in a chocolate truffle display case dropped on the floor and landed in pubic hair. -"“Look at my dawg ova here, he looks like Eddie Munster and shit” ." -Your hair color is brighter than your future -Return of the CaraMac -Homie is ice spice as a guy -Let’s take a rare find like you down the strip and put you on Pawn Stars. -"I'm conflicted - -Soul or no soul? - -Pixar villain lookin ass - -Does your skin still burn in the daylight?" -Like a fucking roulette wheel! Black and red -what was it like growing up with Sinbad as a father? -Mbappe if he was born in a sandstorm -Still nothing close to a Colombian femme-boy with a 9 inch 🥕 -Collard Top -The fucking auburn bourbon -Smudge stick for donald trump’s face -"Hang on, if black dudes have soul, and gingers don’t, wouldn’t they cancel each other out which would make him white? -Post a 10 second clip dancing to confirm my theory." -I didn't even knoe such an ugly combination existed... good job -"Roasts aside, I had no idea someone could be black and ginger. I mean it makes sense, black parent + ginger parent. But I just never thought about it. You're like if fall was a person" -Gingers have no souls. -You look like leftover refrigerated potatoes au gratin. -Get what are u doing here get back to cotton field -"Black ginger, that's like winning the genetic lottery then losing the ticket" -❤️ -Malcolm Ex-con -So no soul or rights? -Black and ginger?!? Mate.... your only allowed to have one thing -What is ur hairline -"100% you go to the club still, find girls on tinder to sleep with and accompany you for the night. You book a night at Aria to impress them, maybe sushi at Cesar’s Nobu and then take them to the crystal mall and buy them an LV bag, never talking to them again." -Did your dad fuck a peanut butter cup -cheap copy of Dr. Dre -Wtf. You look like one of my Fallout New Vegas characters. I'm not even playing. 🤣😂 -Rearrange the letter in Ginger and you will find my insult -Ginger² -Is that a vcr ? -"You look like Doc Rivers and Blake Griffin mashed together, but the disappointment is stronger" -You misspelled… never mind. -Really ginger or dye job? -"looks -like your wall is wearing a shirt" -Wtf is this? Uuuh witch craft -Why did you use ms paint to edit in the hair? -"Naw, I can’t you e already got too much going against you" -I want a ginger baby. Give me one or die -A redguard! -"Cruising for a booming. To soon? Or not, soon enough?" -Why it's always important to wear sunscreen when your a red head. -I don’t think there’s anything I can say that life hasn’t done to u. -There was a time in American history where you would have been extra murdered by angry white people. -You look like you go to a Raiders game...to see the Broncos. -At least hes not a ginger cow . -Blinger 🤔 I like it. -"You can do anything in this world with no repercussions. Be a criminal.. won't get prosecuted cause you're black.... won't go to hell cause you have no soul. - -I'm jealous" -You'll be the enemy of cop's and schoolhouse bullies everywhere. You weird copper colored q tip. -You look like a scoop of chocolate ice cream being carried away by fireants -You look like if Frank Ocean ran through a Vegas desert. -"Won’t be around much longer, he just used his mortgage money at the local casino" -It’s like carrot top and will smith’s girlfriend did the naughty. -All your missing is being a Jew and then you could be a NFJ -Sometimes bet on black. -You got both races crossing the street to get away from you. -Your skin color is santorum -I think Wiz Khalifa wrote a song about you. -Leprechaun in the Hood -When did you escape? -You are absolutely gorgeous!  -You can't roast him because he's already roasted -Thought we got rid of all of you in the purge. -Brother black nor White. Vinegar -So God DOES curse a man twice… -Oh look it's ice spice -Wow I can call you both nicknames with the same 6 letters! -"David neres, is that you?" -"A black person with red hair. I thought when a black person wears red, they get shot by a bunch of black people wearing blue." -Ginger and anagram of ginger. -you look like someone clicked “random” on a character customization game -Blinger -McBappay -Only a ginger can call another ginger “ginger” -Match Head -Dude dyes his hair red and thinks he gets access to some of the privilege...smh -Damn. Two disabilities -Bro sweet band name! -This man has no soul and no rights. That’s tough man. -"If you're Ginger, you can't be black too. Just tell folks you're an overcooked dorito." -He'll be hired and canceled by disney -Even the KKK would feel sorry for you -Glake Briffin -"Don ""No Soul"" Simmons" -You ought to have your damn ass kicked for leaving the house looking like that! -This dude heard that gingers steal souls because they don't have them so he decided to go rob a foot locker thus holding true the stereotype of both -"Heard of Richie Rich? You are Sketchy Sniff, Richie's half cousin." -So another street performer what else is new? -So the ninger is real after all -Why do I feel like your broke your girlfriend is blind and you are a leprechaun -The only ginger who’s got soul :que James Brown track: -The antichrist! Cant plat the blues or cook cause mans got no soul -How goes is my ninga -BlackGinger69 has to be your gamer tag or we have wasted a glorious opportunity. -"Shit…If you were jewish and female, would have had an apocalypse on our hands." -You look like the human form of what I think one of louie andersons farts would look like -Kevin De Bryune from Temu -You look like a matchstick that won’t strike -"Ed Sheerans Waluigi, Ed Stealing" -You’re a black ginger in Vegas…. Speaks for itself -It's like the opposite of hannah montana. The worst of both worlds -"Sooo lemme get this right, you get drunk and steal?" -You misspelled Ni.. oh wait -comment -Just want to post so I can prove I was here for the great Anti-Roast of 2024 -"Thank you, everyone. The roasts made me laugh but the compassion in all these comments have made me feel hopeful again. And to those who are telling me to see a therapist, I started last week and I have medication that I am going to start taking again. I didn't want to cry again today but I am. But it's from the kindness. Thank you." -put the cork back in the bottle what you are looking for is not found there. Sleep now and wake up tomorrow is another day. Get up shower and move on. It will be hard but it will be worth it. I know at 20 it seams like the end but trust me it's not. -"I love this! You're on the roast sub and no one will roast you! You're not in a good place for jokes like this and, rather than make some anyway, everyone is trying to lift you up! And that should tell you something! You're worth lifting up! On the other side of these usernames were all just people. We all hurt and we all need help. Some more than others, and thats ok. I hope you can take some comfort in the meanest and stupidest people on Reddit coming together to be nice to you! :)" -"Listen here ya lil fucker, we all have trauma, we all go through shit, we all have to pick ourselves up from the pits, ain’t nothin’ everyone else hasn’t had to go through in some way. I ain’t about to sit here and measure dicks with ya, but I am gonna tell ya that it gets better. Ain’t no boy or girl worth a second thought. Idgaf if you’ve had more weenies in your mouth than corn kernels, everyone has a past, it’s what we do in the present and the future that counts. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and start feeling good about where you’ve come from. Fuck the negativity and bullshit, be proud of who you are, and always, always be better than you were yesterday!" -"You're not quite roastable yet, go get help, take care of yourself, then come back here for a proper roasting." -I love how no one is roasting -"You look like you could use a hug. - -And maybe a friend who knows how to listen. - -Possibly a kind and thoughtful therapist who can help you process childhood trauma and learn to move through the pain, while learning your true value. - -Hope that wasn't too harsh, this was my first roast." -"Relax, you’re 20. Nothing is the end of the world at this point" -"Nope not doing it, you’re gonna have to take yourself over the edge cos ain’t no one here doing it for ya. - -Shit sucks and life’s a real fucker sometimes but we only get one shot at it so if things are crap now then all you can do is sweep all that shit aside, pick yourself up and forge on forward. - -You got this 🙌🏻" -Sending a virtual hug. Life bad but you will pass through this. -"I do t think posting in this sub is beneficial for you. Whatever you are going through, it will get better. Stay with more positive things." -You look like you're worth the therapy bill. -The biggest roast of all is when the roasters refuse to roast. -"I’ve been listening to to the audiobook “ the body keeps the score” on you tube… and it’s fucking amazing. - -It’s helped me see the cause and effect in my life, why I am the way I am and why I have pissed away so much opportunity. - -It’s also helped me realize why those that have failed me , failed. - -I know it’s probably not a cure all, but maybe give it a listen, cuz it might profoundly help you like it did me." -"So it’s probably better you and your ex parted ways. If there is a relationship built on ultimatums, it’s usually toxic . And the ultimatum of your family or me should never be presented. - -You shouldn’t have to part ways with your family or he his(unless absolutely toxic ) and you shouldn’t have to chose one or other. Take it as a sign you weren’t meant to me rather than a sign you have less value than family he has know his whole life - - -Also there are 8 billions reasons to drink. Find the reason not too." -"Sometimes Reddit shocks me. All you people saying you won't roast and get help are great and actually made me smile. It's awesome when people just know when something is too important. - -They are all right about it too, OP. Don't destroy yourself, please, push through, get help, you are 20, you can get better and find happiness. - -The two being pigs wasn't shocking though." -"Won't do it. - - -You can make a difference in someone's life, just you don't know It yet. " -Kid hang in there. You’re attractive You know enough to know this ain’t the way. Grab a cup of coffee and not booze and talk to a mental health professional. You can be your own hero -I don’t think this is the sub for you. Truly -No I’m not a rotten ass person to roast someone who’s this down in the dumps like this. Get help for your own sake. -"What you need is a friend, not a roast! Chin up, tomorrow’s another day with infinite possibilities!" -dude what the fuck?? wow this just really caught me off guard... -"No, not going to. Sorry to hear of the things that happened, but also look at this: you got to here even though all those things happened. You are stronger than you think, and you should be reminded of that. If it counts, this one certainly thinks you deserve more self esteem. Sending you good thoughts." -"You have so much that others can envy: you’re cute, young, but worldly. You are in the right place to start a brand new life, spending time with only people who show you love and respect." -Could this be the most wholesome response to a /roastme post ever seen on Reddit? Life has def crapped on you but you can wipe that shit off and make a better life for yourself. -"Please hang in there and seek professional help if you haven’t already. Your self-worth is not determined by anyone else! If your ex dumped you then yeah, it sucks right now but you can get through it and come out stronger on the other side! Sending mega positive vibes! 😊" -"Do you know why babies cry at every little thing? Because it’s the worst thing they’ve felt up to that point. - -By the time you’re five, you don’t cry about hunger, or having to poop, or the dog licking your face. This too shall pass. You’re only 20. One day you’ll look back at the “really bad” times and laugh it off as you now realize it wasn’t that bad after all." -"I think the worst roast you could maybe hear at this moment is that you matter, someone somewhere looks up to you, you are beautiful both inside and out. Seems you just covered that beauty in muck for a while. Time to clean it off and polish it up. Live in the now…yesterday and tomorrow don’t exist be the beautiful you NOW. You got this. Hugs and love from Arizona!" -Bruh get help and off reddit -Your beautiful and young and have your whole life ahead of you. It can be tough but don’t shit yourself off and find people and communities you can talk to and get close with. Because trust me friends and loved ones can make all the difference day to day -"I went through your profile a bit because in this pic you look literally 13 so I was gonna start by saying “you’re too young for Reddit.” -However I think you just look especially young in this pic. - -That said upon reading your other posts including how you and your bf are trying for a baby, I would say - please stop. You are far too depressed and need to get your head right. A baby and even the pregnancy is not going to help and now you’re not the only victim of your own mental health, your child is too. - -Please please please stop drinking yourself to sleep and see a therapist and get some help before you even consider bringing another human being into this world. - -If you happen to be pregnant now as we speak, all the more reason to see a therapist. - -You can come out from under this. But you can’t do it alone." -"I was going to start roasting, but everyone else is being wholesome. 20 is nothing. Get into a community college. Forget the ex, you don't owe him more thought than he's giving you. When you get somewhat on your feet, message me for basic financial advice. I'm not an accountant, I mean low level money saving stuff." -"So. I have no soul, and am more than happy to do a double tap on someone, then peel out on the remains. This has nothing to do with your story sister l, well maybe. - -I trust my gut on things. My gut says you deserve kindness and respect as all beings do. Be well fellow traveler, know that life is not all hardship and ruin. Sometimes we get into a rhythm that creates more of the same terrible things. Know that it is not you. I hope your rhythm changes for the better and that good things happen to you. Do your best and give yourself grace to grow. Fair thee well, wherever you choose to fair." -"Is this the same ex whom you mentioned in a post just 19 days ago about how you're utterly in love with him and how he protects you and how you're trying for a baby? Not even a roast, I would really like to know for certain" -Not the purpose of this sub. Not going to do it. Get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day -Honestly I would always choose my family over some girl who used to be an escort. 💀 -No. -"You need love, I’m sorry. Positive vibes in your direction." -"Nah, take care of yourself THEN come back for roasting" -"Dump the Vodka in a Sink, Grab a shower and drink some water. It sucks now and you're not in a place to get roasted kiddo, it gets better, keep your chin up and Godspeed." -Damn this sub is wholesome af -AlL ThE PAIn iN My HeaRT -Sort your shit out then we will roast you -The biggest roast of all is the sub not roasting because her life is that shit -Don't down the vodka. Get some sleep and start a fresh tomorrow. -Please seek help with a therapist or support group for survivors. You aren’t alone and there is help out there. -"You're only 20. Take care of yourself, don't worry about other people. You can't love someone else until you can love yourself first!" -"With a name like piñata colada bark bag, it’s easy to find yourself at the end of a long day in a dark place. It does get better people do heal and you can choose to be one of them." -You probably need to watch some cat videos -"Yeah she's from Portland alright. Also, ""used to be""? 🤔" -Can I just give you a hug instead? -"Make one good decision a day, and by the time you’re 30, you’ll be loving life." -you will make it -"Its hard to know the full story of all this.  Childhood trauma, yeah that sucks a lot and I can believe it.  But being an escort?  You chose that.  I hope you can move past it all but to a certain extent youve gotta accept that your choice to be an escort has damaged you.  And now youre talking about downing vodka.  Youre messing up your life, body and mind.  Youve got physical beauty mixed with wear and tear and a little premature aging.  You can make better lifestyle choices and improve your health but its gonna take you admitting that you partly did this to yourself.  Promiscuity and alcohol comes at a heavy cost, physically mentally and emotionally.  But you can be different.  Good luck. - - -There are healthier ways to cope.  I can give you valuable information and coping strategies.  Let me know if you want them." -"Nope, you’ve endured enough abuse. I hope you can find a way out of your current situation and turn things around. You matter." -"Why do this ? - -Just seen your other pictures. You look great. - -Hope you sort yourself out. Coming on here won’t help at all." -I wish you all the love in the world. -"Nope. You need to lift yourself up, not to look for people to put you down. You're worth it and you should keep moving forward and up. Don't look back and measure yourself on life's cheap moments. If you need to talk, I recommend seeking a therapist. If you just need an ear, find someone you trust or I don't mind being a neutral stranger if that's what you need. The bottom of a bottle is only where you find more problems." -"Put down the bottle, get off Reddit, and seek help. For real." -Please get help. -Seek a therapist -Nope -"You are VERY young and have possibilities upon possibilities ahead of you in life. - -I am very sorry that you had to go through shit, but it doesn't have to define you. - -I guess you do already but stick to getting professional help. You'll get out of this mess. - -I wish you all the best in life." -"You have only lived a fraction of your life. Talk to a therapist, it will help" -"I tried to roast u but had to delete when someone told me roast was over and I read the comments. Yeah u don't need to be toasted. U need to talk to someone, stay away from toxic guys, vodka will only make things fucking worse. Try to smile at least once a day. Fuck the past, make you're future awesome" -I…I don’t want too do this to her -First escort to actually escort -Vince McMahon Mahon has a job for you -You do not need to be roasted god has allready done that. May I suggest sobriety celibacy and therapy -Just curious what do you mean you used to be an escort? -You’re obviously not fine please find someone who can treat you well and find professional help -"Came in here worried that roasters would take the opportunity to kick someone when they were down. Glad the community has some heart. - -Keep your head up, OP." -"Damn, I feel that so deeply. Having no positive reinforcement at all really hurts ones development, id know. I Hope you have a support group, one that cares about you and would save, help and build you up. Being on the Precipice of the abyss is pure pain. It's a scary place to be Peering in but it feels like an escape from this cruel world. I don't have anyone to save me anymore, so eventually I'm gonna leave this world. So I hope to God that things work out for you." -"You don't need a roast, you need compassion, a hug and some help getting yourself back up on your feet! - -Dust yourself off, get back out there and show the world how strong, beautiful and powerful you are as a person!! - -I hope you can rebuild yourself, find your inner peace and I hope that life gives you every good thing it has to offer from this point on!!" -A lotta upside in that pic. Smile -"I want to roast but I know it ain’t right, seek therapy or seek friendships…best of luck OP." -"Escort? A Ford Escort? - -Get well soon." -"You are a worthy, beautiful, valuable princess whose past doesn’t have to define her👑. Chin up sweet girl! 🙌🏼💃🏻🫶🏼❤️🥰" -"You don't need a roast. You need a hug. Here's a virtual one. - -I hope things pick up for you soon. You're never as alone as you think you are!" -aw wait this is actually so sad. your so beautiful -You need a reason to down vodka? -"Fellas, we can fix her" -"I don��t need to give you a reason dummy, vodka just tastes good. Once you’re done downing it, maybe as like a funny drunk joke you can look up a reasonably priced therapist and go talk to them about your problems. Nothing you’ve gone through is something you can’t come back from. Hang in there, dude" -Was the escort service you worked at called wish.com or alibaba? Cause there’s no way I’d pay money to have my escort come out of my television and say I got seven days to live. -Are people seriously downvoting roasts in a roast sub… -"OP, please be kind to yourself. Seek your best friends or family members and just hang out with them for as long as you can - you really need to get back to yourself and start enjoying life. Things have been rough for you, I get that, but you'll be OK. Just breathe and let go..." -"Hell no. You should not be in this sub. - -Put the Vodka away and start tomorrow clear headed and ready to start the journey of recovery. You have had a shitty hand so far and you can get better, get all your mental health, self esteem and general health in order. Then maybe come back and have at it. - -This sub is to knock down smug arseholes and asshats, not true victims of real shit." -I can’t. I have and did the same things as you. Mental health issues. Escort. It sucks. I’m sorry. -Bro looks like Wednesday’s useless autistic step cousin -"No, I won't do that. Get some rest, take some time to gather yourself, and go on strong." -You are not ready for this. Please find some help and build back your life queen 👑 -"Damn, that look in your eyes. I don't normally do this but I can't say anything mean to you. Hope things get better soon. Also, maybe watch it with the booze. It'll only make you feel worse." -"You've got enough reasons to drink, you don't need reddit to mentally whip you. -Go be a nun or something. You've got a face for it" -shit u look 12 -I honestly don't understand why people this fragile want to be roasted when they know they can't handle it. -Looks like you were so devoid of any real personality you turned to being goth so someone might find you interesting. -Get therapy if you want to live a happy and healthy life with healthy relationships -"Nah mate, you’re good. Take some time and look after yourself please. Peace and blessings" -"Comes to roast sub for pity. That’s enough of a roast itself, everyone lost their balls here" -"I hope everything gets better for you, im really sorry that you're in this situation. ❤️" -I can fix her -"I hope things will get better for you and never lose hope. More power to you, girl!" -"bro u are way too young to ve dealt with that much bs, just go to bed and sleep" -I love u -"Put down that bottle. It only contains more misery. I drank for years and years and never once it did it take the pain away. It just dulled the pain until I stopped. Then it came back stronger. You cannot change your past, only your future. I highly suggest getting help for your mental health. Your self image and self worth are things you can only give yourself and therapy is a great place to learn how to give them to yourself. If you ever need help/advice about mental health issues, addiction, and overcoming your own past, message me. I'm almost 32 and have only recently come to like myself and set the addictions down. I have a few severe mental health issues and can def give advice on that or a listening ear. Best of luck!" -You're the girl crawling out the TV in the Latvian remake of The Ring -Stop being an emo and go take care of urself and do something useful -"There's a woman and people are saying they won't roast and infact helping her heal. - -Had it been a guy posting with the same story, all you f*ckers would have made his life upside down." -Lemme tell you something. I used alcohol in situations such as these and it’s never been the answer. Not makes it worse. After all it is a depresssnt. Just smoke a blunt with outside play with your pets and in about a month you’ll see how everything is ok -Don’t do it there’s someone out there who will help you ease your pain don’t give up it’s not worth it -"Vodka is not the answer unfortunately.  - -Focus on yourself if possible dear. Try to live in the now & how only you want to. I think therapy would be great for you to process the past if you can. " -"Believe you are worth more than your past and more than what your ex might have told you - -Believe in yourself and accept love when a nice guy comes around and chooses to be by your side. Allow him to love you and love him back, don’t sabotage it. - -Life can be good for you as well. What matters is the future and how you decide to tackle it, not the past. - -I have a story for you, if you are interested… you deserve happiness and love, but they come with conditions. Drop alcohol and take active care of your mental health. No one else can take you out of the spiral if you don’t want to" -"Wow... The positivity.. on the internet.. I am not used to it. It's amazing! - -OP, everyone is right. 20 feels old but there is sooooo much time left for things to get better. Manifest whatever destiny you believe would make you the happiest. Think about what makes you happy. Animals? Math? Art? Space? - -Pick something you love and focus on it from the ground level. Life is about bite sized pieces of spectacular and huge puzzles. If you start doing the puzzle and realize you don't necessarily love it, then you just course correct. -Go to a different table. -Start a new puzzle. -You will find the one that feels perfect, even if it takes until you're 40." -I'd wanna be friends with you. Feel free to msg if you need a person to chat with -Is like movie 8 mile when eminem rips on himself! -Everyone white nighting instead of roasting...... -lol downvoting the roasts. This subs fucking gone man. -People paying you to leave the room doesn’t make you an escort -"Everything is ok. Even when it’s not. - -As -Mac Miller sings: Don’t you put anymore stress on yourself, it’s one day at a time." -"The only roast you’ll get from me is a good dinner and a cup of tea. Wipe your tears darling, tomorrow is a new day." -white knights all up in this bitch. -So the exorcist was real! -Nothing screams professional victim more than that bullshit runny makeup photo. -Seek therapy 🙏🏼🙏🏼 -"You got this! You are young and learning how to take care of yourself is hard! - -I got out of rehab in 2022 and since then I found a great job that I love and I just bought my own house! Dreams do come true if you focus on them! You can achieve the same and I know you will! -hang in there my friend! We love you - -EAT FOOD, DRINK WATER and LEVEL UP! - -Edit: add lil inspiration" -Best “roast” ever. -You are loved.  -"You matter. Take care of yourself, and maybe some time later, we can roast you. - -But for now, take care of yourself." -"Trauma early on in life stinks but the good things is you are still very young and teeming with potential. I almost wrecked my marriage and my health in my 20s because I didn’t seek help early on when problems manifested. Learn from me and remember not to use your sorrows as a crutch. Life is full of tragedies and it’s best not to let them own you. That’s not to say having feelings is wrong or invalid, just learn how to (or how not to) react to those feeling <3" -"I think you just gave yourself all the reasons you need to drink.. hopefully you won't be 30 somthing before you pull your head out of your ass, but judging by your greasy hair that day has yet to come .. still there is hope .. pretty enough to bang skanky enough to hide .. but seriously,20 is too young to think things won't change .I will say you are pretty and too young to have low self esteem .. sounds like u might have dodged a bullet as far as your x is concerned .. your op was as emo as it gets tho .. I was unsure on whether to roast you or recommend Zoloft or Lexapro .." -Nah. Have an internet hug instead. Take care of yourself. -Girl you hang in. You’re gonna make it. -How much did you charge? -"This isn't exactly what you asked for, but I've found it helpful, so I'm sharing. Hope you find it helpful too! https://www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy" -You are loved -Natalia Grace? -"You deserve to be loved. I’m sorry that you have been though hell. Don’t give up. Keep going. People love you. You are loved. Wether you believe in Jesus or you don’t, He loves you." -Escort for blind men? Uffa you asked for it. -"You have a very ‘blow a load on my face’ thing going. - -That being said I hope you’re able to sort out and cope with your traumas, that sounds rough. - -Good luck, kick butt!" -"hey wanna know something funny? i'm 20 and currently going through the process of what happens when you survive ""downing the vodka."" - - -just don't do it there's a lot that happens in your head after you do. i took 9mg clonidine and however much liquor i could stomach. some time later i realize i don't want it to happen and i got my ass to the hospital the rest is a blur but i got shocked then stabbed with all kinds of needles. reality check from a security guard because i started being a dick after the fact" -It’s okay we’ve all been there you’re just dumb -What is up with the emotional baggage under your eyes? -"So, at what point did you decide to become a whore? - -Edit: posted this question twice by mistake. My bad. I'm not creepin. It was an accident." -"I can not in good conscience, roast someone who has so much pain and trauma at such a young age. - -You are a victim. You are a human. You are loved. - -I appreciate that you are now finally seeking help, but please remember... you can not skip to the end. Be patient with yourself. You got this!!" -PDX Loves You! 🫶🏼 -You look 12 and that's all I can say -"""used to be"" that was written so loud" -And you thought to your self I haven’t suffered enough let’s make my mental health worse by asking strangers on social media to lambaste me. -"Forget your past, pick yourself up off the floor, and get on with life. You look gorgeous, now act gorgeous. Forget the shitty people in your life. You don't need them. Be what you want to be starting today." -"Hey, I have a seventeen year old niece with problems. Can I just say she means so much to my family. I hope you realise that a lot of problems when you're young are short term. Stay positive and you'll get through these hardships. There is nothing wrong with you and you are just finding yourself. Late 20's and early 30's will create different problems but can be overcome by determination. Best of luck" -To be honest a man choosing his family over a woman is principles I can admire. Respect -Used to be? When did you retire? 15 mins before this pic when you deep-throated that mascara down? -wait if i’m being honest i can’t really roast you you’re like super pretty. also your eyes are really pretty shape and colour -"Ex Boyfriends weak af who would give up a hypersexualized girl who went through all the trauma you have, girls like that are freaks in the sheets. - -The sympathy farming on this sub is pathetic and you people in the comments disgust me just as much as" -"you dont need a roast, you need therapie" -"Shouldn't have to choose between family and gf, so screw those people anyway, and your ex. Escort thing - don't let it define you, but equally why be ashamed (assuming you are)? Self esteem is low among the intelligent, and high amongst the dumb. Get some proper medical care for your MH and be proud to be yourself." -"I don't want to roast you, I want to cook you a meal and give you a big hug you poor thing" -"Sorry but you've used up all your quota of negative shit, therefore you are not allowed to get roasted. It's all uphill from here" -Women will do everything under the sun except better themselves lmao -"You got paid in curly fries. - - - - -Keep your head up. Take things one day at a time. Prioritise you and your health, happiness will follow. Very cliché but it's true. And I believe you can do it." -"I really don't think that you should be here rn. I wouldn't feel well with assuming you now so please come back if you get better. And keep you're head up ""In the darkest black of a day, there will always appear a gradually brightening light at the end of a tunnel."" I translated the last sentence with chatgpt I hope he did it right" -"Listen, my dear friend, I am a therapist and a licensed education psychologist. I can tell you right now, the look in your eyes, the tone in your voice and reaches deep into our hearts here. Look at all these people who would normally carry the pieces just for fun see your pain and hear your sorrow, it just shows the depth of who they are.listen to what they have to say they are sharing with you their struggles they hope. And I can tell you from my own hopes and struggles there is a brighter path ahead. -I use a coaching model which is very beneficial and we would just look at the blocks in your way to be coming all that you want to be. If you’re interested at all, just respond to this comment and I will give you contact information. Hang in there there’s beautiful brown eyes waiting to see beauty again - - -By the way, I’ve seen these guys turn some pretty nasty coats sun guys, but they feel you which says a lot about them too. Thanks guys I think I just loved this Reddit but I’ll never let you roast me that would be too easy ha ha." -"I read this lovely girl's heartbreaking caption and recoiled at the fact she was posting on this sub. Dreaded the potential comments that could be here...clicked on the comment section with huge hesitancy and wanting to jump in and give her some well needed love, however I'm utterly blown away at the pouring of love and sensibility and compassion yall showing her. To know how many are sensible and sensitive enough of knowing there's a time and place for roasts or jokes etc etc...and when someone needs some humanity and some warmth instead. - -OP, I wish you nothing but love and kindness toward yourself going forward n your young life that's only just beginning. If ever you need a reminder to be compassionate to yourself, just see how many strangers have bypassed the usual nature of this sub for you. You're important and life will heal over" -The day the roast died -Y’all suck at roasting. -"tf were you escorting, vodka down the throat?" -"You look exactly like an old friends boomer mom at twenty. She tried to tough it out as a single mom, had too many uncles over, my friend suffered just as you did, and as a result of of a deadbeat drunk baby daddy and omg, old stories wash over you sometimes. - -Go ahead and get to a crisis center before you touch that bottle. Rehab can't come soon enough, if only as a pre-emptive measure. The resources alone are priceless. It ain't no crime to enter temporary assisted living while straightening things out. - -Do it for that baby in your past, before the baby in your future." -"I would usually post a scathing dig about blow up dolls or something here, but I have to say...you've got a whole hell of a lot more time left before deciding to bury yourself in a liquor bottle...you're literally a kid...enjoy everything you can, while you can...because it goes so fast you'll even miss some of the bad shit you eventually realize wasn't all that bad after all...plenty of time to fuck life in the face and win if you're only 20 years old...keep your head up...meaning like your actual head, not meaning like keep consistently blowing people" -Wait.. people actually paid to have sex with you? -"You're so young. Get a good therapist and work through what you cant Legally medicate what you need help with. And realize you aren't damaged goods, you deserve love, and have plenty of time for a great life. It will be hard work though! Good luck and try to hang with people who can improve your life." -Ummm yeah. Not today. Not roasting. You’re very young. You have a full life ahead of you. I hope things get better in your life. -"Hang in there! You're gonna look back at these times at 30 and think, shit, I made it!" -"I couldn't possibly roast you. Chin up, things will get better" -"You are pretty, and have alot of potential. Don't let the past control your life." -I want to see the reaction of this sub to a man posting this... -"Doesn’t the description day “a little bit” about yourself? Gee wiz. Did your child trauma get in the way of your reading log? It definitely got in the way of your punctuation homework. - -Anyways, buck up chum, tomorrow is a new day and a new you. You’re young and you got time to work through anything you need to so long as you try! You got this!" -Sorry kiddo. Go get help. -No roast thats terrible I hope your doing ok and wish you the best -man these comments made me tear up😭🫶🏽 u guys are being so sweet -Who the fuck let Courtney Love back on reddit?! -You look like Juno and the girl from the ring mixed together 😂 -What happened to your chin? Did it run away from you like he did? -"Nah, don't do that. Sounds like you've had a truly fucked up go of it. I'm sorry for that. Best revenge is success. Go get yourself in some classes. You're super young still. Let your mind grow and grab some power for yourself. As far as your self-esteem, and I say this with all due respect, you're beautiful. It's not the most important thing, of course, but don't deny that part of your power either. You have a lot going for you, just in the fact that you're young and beautiful. You have a lot of crazy experiences, too, so you can use that as a source of power for yourself. Lots of reasons to stay in the fight, my G. Don't give up." -"You are still very young and on time to change the direction of your life. I know it won't be easy, but, if want to be better, you can be better. Please remember, sometime it's not about huge steps to see positive change, starting small is also good in can work on slowly changing our perspective. - -I hope you don't down the vodka road and I hope you can find strength and know this isn't the end of the road. - -Big hug to you and have a good day." -This one ain’t it chief. -"The bottle is not the solution, trust me. Take a shower, get some food then sleep, being roasted isn't exactly something you need at the moment, come back when you feel better." -who the fuck went through all these and downvoted the lower rated support comments  -Comment section definitely did wat iwas hoping before checkin the comments…get up & stay positive chick 🐥 Happy Easter -This is not the sub you’re looking for. -"Get off Reddit, go see a therapist. Real talk." -"I can’t even imagine what you have been through, but hang in there. Tomorrow brings new beginnings, find a therapist that you can talk to. - -Don’t wash your life away with alcohol, it will only cause you more pain and misery. - -I know this isn’t much coming from a stranger on the internet, but know that there is always someone who cares about you, love yourself. - -Don’t throw your life away, as you still got a lot of time left to make things right with your life, hell, in 10 years you will probably look back on this and laugh about this. - -Wishing you the best, hopefully you can find peace and happiness in your life." -"You know, you are a beautiful soul, if you need a roasting, all you'll get is to sunbathe a lil, the sun will make you warmer and maybe even a slight happier. - -Escort is a job, nothing more, if it made you survive, then it's just a thing to do to eat and have clothes on their back, good of you to earn your own money. - -Now your ex lost out, forget hex, move forward, become the best you, you're 20, you have a lot of life left, get an income you can be prouder off. If you need to escort to get there, then do so, it is not a life description, but an income. - -Get yourself into a school, a working-place you are happy with, if you need to make subways sandwiches, do it, being happy with who you are, and where you are going is the most important thing in life. - -If you get yourself to a college, they will have therapy to help with the trauma, and the thing is, surviving trauma, will make you have huge wounds yes, but you survived trauma, so it made you stronger. And knowing you can do it one time, will help you in future to survive other trauma, other surprises, so don't give up. You are hella awesome - - -You are beautiful, you are strong, you are smart, you are sparkling, you are a miracle, you are worth it, you are valuable, you have value. - - -Really, no one can take away from who you already are, a really awesome young lady - -And vodka is more of a small shots here and there, in a drink, as a way to relax good, but as a way to stay standing, it's not good. Maybe a plushie is more your speed. - - -You need more soft, fluffy and warm in life - - -*hands plushie* - - -hang in there, life can try to be mean, but we can always get back up to show life middle-finger and become much much better - - -<3 You are lovely - -Causey <3" -"You got this! Being an alcoholic is hell on earth. You’ll be worse off than all of the childhood trauma you’ve ever had. You are young, and things will turn around I promise." -"You’re very pretty. You just need to find the strength within yourself. The universe is a hologram, and every small piece of the hologram contains the entirety. This means that you have everything within you that you need to find your strength. - -You’re capable of being much more than you think you are. You are worthy of love, compassion, and abundance. You just need to find it within yourself." -"Your post is heartbreaking and I'm so sorry that you're going through Hell, buddy. - -I'm really happy to see that there are so many people opting to not roast you but share sympathy, love, advice & kindness with you, people really need it. I hope you all keep being decent human beings." -Kinda look like the girl getting possessed in the video in talk to me -You went to your doctor and he said you’re fat! You said I want a second opinion. He said you’re ugly too! -Just crawl back into the tv screen where you belong. -I’m just going to say this: no one likes an escort who cries on the job. That’s my job. -You could always resort to only fans. People pay big money for ugly chicks. -"Goddamn with a story like that skip the vodka and go straight to the good shit, at least everyone’s expectations of you are so low there not a chance you could disappoint anyone" -Y’all some pussies -"He chose his FAMILY over you? Someone who used to be a stranger? -… -Shocker… -…" -"“My ex chose his family over me…” - -Was he not supposed to?" -Wife material! -"Escorts are high class, you’re a former hooker or prostitute. Don’t get it twisted." -"Ah look kid, you'll get better and life will get better. The journey will suck. But if you try it'll be worth it in the end." -how are you so far past your prime at 20 -"Best. Motherfucking. Thread. In. The. History. Of. Reddit. Fuck….im a full grown man with tears in my eyes. This is incredible. You dumb assholes amaze me every once in a while. This is fucking impressive. - -Wow. - -Darlin, Find a friend. Talk to somebody. You’re loved. And what you’re reading here I hope speaks to you. Some hit rock bottom. Some people’s bottom can be deeper than others. But once you hit it there is nowhere to go but up. You are worthy. And you’re special. Chin up and one foot in front of the other. 🤗" -You mean he chose his family over a 20 yo retired tree fiddy hooker? What the hell is wrong with that guy? -So u asked your bf to choose between you and his family..u are dumb af what did u expect -"I mean, choosing family over an SO is a pretty big ultimatum. I’d probably choose family, too." -"You are a lovely person who is deserving of happiness and peace. I don’t say that because of looks but because everyone deserves peace and happiness. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still here. So, that shows there isn’t anything life can throw at you that you can’t survive. You’re strong and brave! You have a courageous heart! - -Put down the booze, and seek out to counseling and therapy. Answers and contentment won’t be found at the bottom of a bottle. - -Sincerely, - -This Canadian Internet Stranger" -The Bride of Chucky -Stay positive! (Not hiv positive) -"Lemme fix a few things -20 F rich parents, loving family, only here to feed metal issues of wanting people to feel bad for you." -Not sure sucking guys off for a bag of meth quite warrants being called an escort -Used to be an escort that couldn’t get any business. Even your pimp dumped you. Literally the only escort in the world that would have a higher likelihood of catching a STD off of a toilet seat instead of a dick. At least a toilet seat could stay hard near your ass -"Guys, you can stop shmoozing up to her. She said she *used* to be an escort. Put your dollars away." -An escort? I'd ask for security to escort you away from me. -onwards and upwards. you got this. -"User name checks out. If you’re serious, sounds like you don’t need a reason. But maybe don’t down it, put it down. Get help." -I know the purpose of this sub but nah I won't -"Your life's not over. If you try, you can make it all the way to the bottom. Don't give up." -"Nope, not gonna do it. Have a coke and a smile…" -No way. Absolutely not. You are better than you think! Throw away the vodka and take positive steps. Good luck! -You’re better than you think you are! -You’re 20 lol take a breath. Whatever is going on will seem like small rough patch in a few years. -"You are gorgeous, have your whole life in front of you, and you are more than worthy of the best things in life ❤️don't ever give up!" -"Not to minimize your trauma, but most of us have some or a lot. Pick yourself up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’re young and beautiful. You can do it!!! Good luck OP. 💪💪" -"Nah, even I have lines I won't cross and this is it." -"Not happening, you need a hug, a friend or someone to listen. Whatever is making you hurt will go away, things always get better. Dm any time for positivity. Get help and get life back on track, you can do this! Support is always here." -"All I have to say is your enough ," -I don’t even want to roast you. You need to get help. -You are always loved by someone ✨ -"The internet can be a brutal place, especially this sub. -Look at all the nice comments everyone has left. Your beautiful, inside and out. All you need is a little love and care. -We can see that a hug and some kind words are whats needed. Someone will love you for who you are. We have all been through things and heartbreak, you are worth love, and you will find it" -"You've been through some things that most people will never go through. But you're still here. And that's what matters. Put the vodka down. If you've been down, it means there's only one direction to go from here, and that's up. - -Whatever your goals are, I believe you can find a way to achieve them. And I believe that even though right now you're not able to see it, someday you'll have that self esteem, and you'll look back and be glad that you put down the bottle." -You’re beautiful everything is gonna be okay. Romans 8:18 -Please get help. I’ve been there. I’ve been down in the dirt once when I thought my life was over. It gets better. I promise. It may involve you going somewhere else in the world to do it to start over. It’s what I had to do and my life got better. Make a new name for yourself. Please find a way out of that situation. -"You’re loved! Keep your head up, brighter days ahead love!" -Send it again when you fell great and from a good place .. and believe me we have alot to roast but not like this… get up girl and kick this shit. -"You won't find what you're looking for, whether it be a bottle, a canister, or a glass. You need to look inwards. Love you friend :)" -We're all fucked up from childhood trauma. You might be more mature than a lot of us who pretend like we're not and refuse to talk about it. You're at least through the hardest part which is accepting and acknowledging you e got a problem. It took me a long time that self worth comes from within not from other people's validation (I still struggle accepting it though). -"Bravo redditors, humanity 🤌🏼" -"There’s no way I can roast you. This is just sad and extremely depressing. Sorry for what you’ve been through, but please attempt to pick yourself back up. You’re only 20!! Your life hasn’t even begun just yet. I mean, you’re still just a kid for fuck sakes!!! Bless your heart babygirl.. ❤️🙏🏼" -We can roast you in a few years once you’ve turned things around. -"You’re beautiful and young! Stop being sorry about yourself live and enjoy life! Hope you get out from the spiral and that you actually make a nice life for yourself! And do not feel sorry about the past, also being an escort or not doesn’t mean a thing. I know and met many people that make a living out of this and they enjoy it and it is their choice (no one forced them) one must do what must be done no turning back. You can look at your future and make it even better! Oh and fu*k your ex there’s millions out there! Now drink your vodka and cheers to a better future ♥️" -Imagine how your life would be if you actually had some self-respect. -HOW DARE YOUR EX CHOOSE HIS FAMILY OVER YOU ITS NOT LIKE HE KNEW THEM AND LOVED THEM FOR LONGER THAN YOU ha cry womp womp -"""escort"" How many actual ""dates"" have you been taken on? - -Just say ""Sex worker""" -If you broke up with your ex then you are a dick bro -why would your ex NOT his family over you? that doesn't make any sense. No sensible child would ditch their family. -Escort as in someone paid you not to have sex with you once you got there? -damn 20f AND used to be an escort? bruh you fucked up already at such a young age lmao -"I definitely have something to say. Going into “roast me” and telling everyone that you’re going to drink vodka if their roasts are strong enough, that’s some little bitch shit right there. You’re 20, you can handle it. Stop using vodka as a crutch. And some gum get that jawline going - -People should always choose family over a significant other. It is FAMILY. you serious? - -You gotta get it together" -Only Fanza -"Listen to ""Loser, Baby"" from Hazbin hotel and that's my message to you" -how much would you pay me to be with you? -"Sorry, but some poorly removed eyliner and messy hair isn't gonna get you roasted here." -"Awe honey, you’re beautiful. Besides, I don’t think anyone would pay for an ugly escort 😉" -I thought you was going to hand me a red balloon -Can’t roast a dumpster fire -Hard to roast someone who isn’t going to make it to the end of the day. -"Just by looking at you, I can tell you get told to shut the fuck up a lot." -Fuckin put your big girl boots on and start sucking Dick for money. -"If you want to talk about CPTSD and resultant comorbid issues such as BPD, dm me. I understand and think I can help." -You’re soiled so you’ll never be first choice for any man that have self respect -"Eh boy, this is getting pathetic" -"Girl, you don't need to be roasted. You need a damn hug. Try to find yourself in these dark times and don't let people be the reason you live. Make your world be for you not for others." -"Go back to be an escort. - -Escort your shitty ex, your self loathing and the vodka the fuck out of your life." -"You weren't an ""escort"" they're called prostitutes. Don't give yourself value you don't deserve." -"Failed escort, bullshit trauma like your mom yelling at you, mental issues self diagnosed, and a family man that did not choose a whore over his family. Probably the other side to your sob story." -Clown escort at your service. -Consider making better decisions -Date within your bracket next time -if this was a guy the majority of this sub would be lynching at him. -Please use birth control. -If you order an escort from Temu -wensday fell out a train same time gomez left -Your ex is obviously trash and is missing out on someone absolutely gorgeous. You're stunning. Don't let the hate bring you down. Things can get better. Past life choices and experiences don't have to dictate your future. You can get thru your battles and come out shining -"Supposedly 20, has eyebrows (or possibly doesn't) from 1996. Probably also has a bush from the 90s which certainly is a key to success as an escort. - -Don't worry because the next herpes and/or genital warts outbreak is right around the stress-related corner." -You should have been swallowed -comment -"What’s that color called, Daddy’s Red Flag?" -It’s probably impolite to mention you at family gatherings. -Didn't I beat up like 50 carbon copies of you in the Streets of Rage games for Sega Genesis? -"I guess you were right, it wasn’t a phase" -you look like you smoke alcohol -"Oh look, Pink got addicted to snorting Ajax" -"""Just turned 31. Show me what you got"" - -I've got a job. - -We're done here." -if P!nk smoked jaguar piss -You look like you flick your bean watching Schindler’s List. -Weren't you in Mad Max -Pretends to be gay. Actually likes dick -You look like a cyberpunk npc -You get your own planned parenthood protests following you around because you make others not want to have kids. -"I have never seen someone who tries harder to act like they don't care what people think of them. You have essentially made yourself into a walking billboard that says I crave attention, but I don't know how to get it in a healthy way. I'm sorry your dad was not around enough, but let's tone it down just a little" -"I hate to use the word poser in 2024, but Jesus Christ, buddy." -"You look like you either live in a tent city in Portland or greatly aspire to live in one. - -Peaked…." -You look like you're in your 40s trying to cling to youth -31 in dog years -I’m so proud that your form of birth control is body odor -You look like you chew foil. And your car has rust and manual windows. And your bathroom smells like cigarettes. Wizard sleeves. -"You look like your diet consists of meth, cigarettes, and your Johns' jizz." -You look like a used tampon -What's with the fucking nose ring chain bro? What are you trying to look like? A fucking gate? -I think I need a hepatitis vaccine just from looking at this -"You look like your first words after losing your virginity was ""get off of me, dad, you're crushing my smokes""" -You look like the type that bottle your queefs for future enjoyment. -"“Just turned 31” and already shit canned from a dozen jobs due to being “offended” by men, flags, religious affiliations and “lack of LGBQT diversity” and company policy of showering at least once a week." -It’s like someone put makeup on an empty can of beer with a half smoked cigarette in it and left it out in the sun for a few days. -"If ""non-binary poly vegan"" was a person" -First transitioning punk rooster I’ve ever seen. Now we have to add WTF to the LGBTQ+ acronym. -"If there were any more potholes on your skin, you would have to carry a detour sign" -Pinks sister Stink -31 years or 31 mental illnesses? -"You look like Marge Simpson when Homer had the makeup gun set on “Whore”… Jesus fuck, do you put your foundation on with a spatula?!?!" -Wow. This dude needs a lot of attention -You look like you make NyQuil cocktails -I can smell the mental illness from these pics. -You look like a raider from fallout decided to start an onlyfans to support her bath salts habit -Seems that Costco hotdogs aren’t the only thing made out of lips and assholes that only costs $1.50. -"At least time keeps fucking you, right?" -"I picture you wearing lose mom jeans that show your crack by a half an inch, with a stained wife beater on. A cigarette tucked in your ear and a lit one your mouth while you're carrying two giant bags of dog food over each shoulder and load them into your rusted pickup truck dragging a trailer that isn't properly hitched and is carrying an old dented washer and dryer set with a ""free"" sign still attached that also aren't properly strapped down." -You look like the aftermath of an orgy at the Gathering of the Juggalos -Now I know what you get when you combine multiple hardcore drugs with inbreeding. -You remind me of the Siren from Borderlands in the sense that I want to strand you in the middle of a wasteland with no hope of return. -"When you smile, it looks like your teeth are in a race" -How many mosh pits have you hosted in your vagina? -"This smells like cigarettes, body odor and bad breath.... with a hint of tuna." -The sight of you both makes my Dick itch and makes me thankful for my wife. -What an angry looking rooster -You look like you give your opinion at family gatherings when no one wants it. -Well arnt you just unique like all the other black makeup wearing chick's that look like they slam their face into a tacklebox with all the shit hanging off them. -31 ? ...grow the fuck up -Even goodwill won't take you -Nip or tuck? -I think my penis just crawled up into my stomach. -Emo Ronald McDonald vibes -You look like you sacrifice small animals as well as your self respect. -Gnarly Quinn -Good thing you’ve got that nose chain holding your shit together after all that coke you’ve probably snorted -"Kinda hot in a smelly and stinky, flea bitten way. I can smell the hard boiled egg and cigarette ash on your breath; and the, “I don’t care if I half wiped my butt, it’s anarchy down there anyway.”" -You know what I have? A job. -"If you aren't the captain of a roller derby team, I would be flabbergasted." -You look like the type of girl who rolls her own tampons and kick starts her vibrator. -You don’t look a day under 45 -If Hep C was a person. -"Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock called, they do NOT want you back." -When you just lack the elegance & fashion sense required to be a Juggalette -companies add you to their games on pride month -Do you brush your hair with a dildo? -You don’t look a day over gender reassignment -Your red hair is a little redundant: you’re already a bright red flag -I'm assuming you broke out of jail and no one even tried to stop you. -"Penis chopping lesbian, I’m not sure if that’s a roast." -"Your best pic was when you weren't trying, unfortunately, you're giving off vibes as if trying is all you do. Life was rough" -You could be the face of a pro-abortion campaign. -Nice! Goatwhore. Saw them in Chicago. Amazing band -Don’t show us the extra “leg” you got -Custom character creator set to random generate -Cool you finished your transition -Just use the bathroom labeled WTF. And would you mind leaving via the window? -"Skin of a tortoise, body of an 11 year old boy." -"Once, a friend used their beer can as an ashtray during a party and I took a sip of it by mistake. Looking at you brought back that memory from the very back of my head, I can taste the exact same thing just by looking at your pictures…" -Just turned 31 lesbians straight -"I have nothing, but you have meth." -You’re a woman?? Wow. Were you always one? -IT’s MAM!!!!! -"Christ almighty, take all that shit out of your face and grow up already." -Finally the product of a human and a goat. That’s wonderful that you followed your mom’s footsteps by becoming the goat whore and wearing it proud -They/them? -"Can't tell if you used to be a man.... - -Or if you used to be a woman - - -Not that it matters at all because you look crazy and I stick my dick in crazy. Just not -... - - -Gestures at you - - - - - -.. - - -That crazy" -"There is a thing in D&D, where people suck ass at making a character that is in any way narratively interesting, so they rely on visuals as a crutch. Being a half tiefling half angel with neon purple skin and crimson eyes and the horns are park angel wings and the personality of a baked potato. - -Anyway, you certainly are visually interesting." -No-one that lets their pet caterpillar sleep on their nose can be all bad. -Your cover-up tattoo looks like it completely missed the part you were trying to cover up. But this should line up with your history of making consecutive bad decisions. -Hellraiser called. Pinhead wants his daughter back. -Gross -"With a face like that, a blowjob would be considered anal" -"You look like Wendy’s Restaurant's distant cousin, Wanda’s Slaughterhouse" -Has the best shares in the AA meetings. -"This is such a bad look on someone in their 30s. Grow up, you just look pathetic." -I want to smell you but I don't want to smell you -31 in corpse years -"Pink’s cousin, Brown" -DUDE chill. -I didn’t think the guy from Danzig was still alive? 🦹🏻‍♂️ -"So hardcore goth, she (?) took an ice pick to her own face!" -You watched Arcane once and made Vi your whole entire personality. -"Your asshole is a mosh pit, what's the most dicks you've ever had in the pit?" -What am I looking at here? -"When they chopped off your hog, did they see any disease starting? Like wow 30 and all that damage on so many levels" -You put the cock in cock-a-doodle-doo. -When you dress like that. People will think you are a girl. -Thought it was a dog pecker at first glance -"You look like an Angry Bird - -Instead of saying “NYAA-HINGA-AH!” When getting launched, you say “GANG-GREENA!”" -I know a full on mid-life I’m-going-to-whore-myself-out crisis when I see one. -"Pink if she did meth, cocaine, fentanyl, LSD, and ecstasy." -Shouldn’t you be high out of your mind attacking a caravan somewhere in the wasteland? -You look like you enjoy sharing your UTI with the world -"Calm down, sir! You are scaring the children!" -50 going on 12. -"Fucking hell you’re genuinely un-roastable. -It’s impossible to sink any lower." -You look like if a worn out gamer chair was turned into a person. -"Wow, it’s like you’re trying to combine three different styles and missed the mark on all of them. Your wardrobe looks like it was designed by a committee that gave up halfway through. Are you going for punk, goth, or 'I forgot my shirt but at least I still have this string'? The only thing sharper than your fashion choices is the regret I feel for looking at this!" -Shouldn’t you be doing a video where you’re crying while complaining about not being able to find a job and you can’t figure out why? -I bet you poop standing up -You look like you open bottles of beer with your crotch. -Biggest clit in the roller derby -I love how people like this think they’re different or going against norms but yet they then go into the group of people who all think the same and dress and act the same so is it really a win? Your basically a norm after trying not to be norm to other norms -"Yo dude, what’s that shit on your face?" -Mid-Emo Crisis -Makeup be saving lives bro -Grow up? Maybe -So how long have you been pretending to be a woman? -You look like the type of person to call the domestic violence hotline only to find out the number is for victims only -You're the perfect person to help us convince Republicans to keep Planned Parenthood. -Still rockin the roller derby look. Love it -When you pick up chicks at NA meetings. -I was going to jerk off today. Looking like that just got postponed until tomorrow. -You look like the type of female to find fruit flies in your underwear with alarming regularity. -I don't know what to say I mean you seem like a pretty good guy to me. -Who is this man? -You look like the love child of Ruby Rose and Ozzy Osborne 🤘 -Someone at work told me he thinks everyone in america presents themselves as an anime character. Heres the proof. -How many times have you turned 31? -How long ago did you transition -"In the 5th picture you blacked out the guys face, you should have blacked out yours as well!" -Thanks for the age. Gender would be nice to know too. -If P!nk and Danny Trejo had a baby -The equivalent of masturbating with a hand full of razor blades and broken glass. -You look like you curb-stomped your face with your own Doc Marten’s -"Get more facial piercings, maybe more of the toxic bi-polar personality will leak out." -You look like an ugly hot cheetoh -I don’t have anything bad to say just wanted to let you know you accidentally typed 31 as your age. -"you look both like a 45 yo lesbian fan of the joker, and the 30 yo girl she's abusing" -Mom says it's my turn to be crungy -"We get it, you are craving for attention." -But moooooooom! It’s 2024 everybody’s doing m2f transitioning -"If ""look at me"" was a smell." -"Holy shit, for the love of god- pick one! Crazy inside or crazy outside, because the Manson lamps with the “I want attention” aesthetic is just tying you up nicely as insufferable." -Diarrhea Ripley -"31 going on 48, did your mother feed you asbestos as a child ?" -"Oops, some one forgot to take their birth control pill 31 years ago + 9 months ago on the day of that one Poison concert." -"Your teeth are like the spice girls. - -They’re all different colors and all kind of doing there own thing" -Something tells me you really enjoy sharing your opinions. -You look like you masturbate with a pine cone -Wish.com jinx -You definitely do anal. -I bet you smell like testosterone shots and silicone -You look like the kind of angry bisexual woman who talks constantly about how you hate men and they're trash only to go home and call your male partner Daddy. -"Daddy is still out for milk, huh? Good luck finding another daddy in the meantime. I'm sure you're hunting hard." -You look like a rooster. Prepare for the single life. -How did it feel working on Fallout 3 as a raider? -How long are you gonna keep cosplaying as someone from mad max? -You're right not to show your teeth when you smile 😁. -Basic Cyberpunk NPC -I was going to go to special site to help me sleep then I came across this. I guess I’m going to bed unsatisfied and unfinished. This might give me nightmares. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 -Those teeth could chew through tungsten. -You look like the only one that fucks you is time. You should be required to walk around with a trigger warning person 10 feet in front of you -You look like you could wrestle. -"If you take all those piercings out, I bet you sound like a party favor when you sneeze" -Your dad definitely didn’t call to wish you happy birthday again for the 18th year in a row since he left. -"I’ve never been ravaged by a woman, but you make my butthole pucker in fright like I’m about to be." -Someone hasn’t been missing calf day -You give off cockroache energy -"I'd hit it, from behind, with a pillow over its head, and that secret would die with me" -Overwatch Junker Queen vibes -You look like a spray painted wall -The directors for the borderlands movie thought you were a worse pick for Lilith than the old hag that played her -Death by Snu Snu cosplay. Chef's kiss x0x0x -Lorena Bobbitt eat your heart out -Pink from mad max crossover with forest gump. -"You’re the oposite of a horse without legs, you look like a snake with legs and are built like a horse." -Art the clown had better fashion -You look like you smoked many 8 balls of crack and sucked dick in the staircase before -You look like a Cyberpunk 2077 NPC -discounted JOJO character -Actually i am scared to roast you -"Despite looking like V. In Cyberpunk 2077, you would have stayed in the junkyard as it is the place you feel the most comfortable and that you belongs to." -I bet you were so excited to get your first 8yo boys haircut -You look like ***THE*** lesbian -This is what happens when you don’t buy your little princess the pony she asked for when she was 12 -You look pretty good for someone who was probably denied a pass to the 27 club. -You're like an angry woodpecker love child. -Just came to say goat whore is bad ass -Great choice of Sepultura and Goatwhore shirts! 👍 -this picture smells. -There’s a rock on TikTok named Gunter that has better skin texture than you do. -you look like a fucking nightmare -Cyberjunk 1993 -Since when 41 is 31...? -"Bad skin, Bad hair, Bad piercings. " -131 -That's a rough 31 -Proof cum facials aren’t good for your skin. -Yellow page ad: Guaranteed goth style blowjobs -The cringy hot topic girl grew up and got old: a cautionary tale -I’d rather shave my balls with a rusty razor and dip them in alcohol then go through that photo slide again -Remember to come back from hell. Don’t stay too long -You look like you’d play Vi in a porn parody of LoL called League of Losers. -"I'm not religious, but I think imma start seeking Jesus after seeing this." -Just turned 31... 20 years ago today -Looks like life already did a number with you. You need a break. -"Your dad didn’t give you attention as a kid either, huh?" -You look like your biggest goal in life is to eventually become the assistant manager of a Spencer’s Gifts but the mall is going out of business -Manager at Hot Topic? -"Los Angeles has been hard on you. You’re 31, you should have gone through this phase in middle school." -"You look like Trash from Return of the Living Dead. - -Actually, you just look like trash." -You don’t look a day under 45 -If the lead singer from Rammstein was a lesbian -Art The Clown teeth -I'm sorry about your accident. I hope the tackle box is ok. -This is the result of a failed plan B. -You don't look a day older than 47 years. -ROUGH! -What’s your roller derby name? -"It’s cool, don’t worry. Your dad still loves you" -So that's where my fishing tackle box went -31 and still wearing your name on your shirt? -Top 100% on only fans -What happens when a Spice Girl passes the expiration date. -just 31? -Yes indeed you are gonna be an extra in Mad Max 4 -I bet you think your haircut makes you look cool -The nose plug is a must to block the stench of your upper lip -31 or 42? -Unrelated but sick goatwhore shirt -comment -Where did you get those teeth? They look heavy -Your face is so filtered you look like a Scooby Doo villain that was just captured 😒 -"You definitely hit on your kids friends, just so that someone, anyone, gives you attention." -You’re definitely the woman who harasses friends and family to buy your shitty pyramid scheme products to make ends meet since your husband left -How much of your paycheck is designated to making you look 43? -What bottom 0.1% on onlyfans looks like. -"Gentlemen, -This is the old cougar your parents warned you about. -Approach with caution and do not accept any gifts. -And that thing at her house she wants you to look at.... not broken." -Damn Seabiscut looking ruff after the races -“Try me guys” is what you say to potential Johns when you’re on the street corner -If someone touched you with a piece of litmus paper it would turn dark blue -If “Live Laugh Love” was a person -"You are a Barbie. That face looks completely plastic, or is it Botox? Probably have the emotional depth of a Petri dish as well" -"You say, 'try me guys', but I get the feeling a lot guys tried you and you never saw them again" -Neeeeeiiiiiggghhhhh! -"""Try me guys"" was your nickname in High School, huh?" -"Too many filters. For all anyone knows you could be ET's ugly friend. If anything happens to you and the police ask for a recent photo there's no chance anyone is going to recognise you in real life. - -And take the bright plastic teeth back to the joke shop. The astronauts in the ISS are being blinded by them." -You look like you eat corn on the cob longways -"You look like a toxic HR employee whose only purpose is to fire people via video call while telling them you “understand.” Then you go out to a Mexican restaurant and get sloppy drunk off of overpriced margaritas and embarrass your family until your depressed husband has to escort you out to his overpriced and debt-ridden truck, which you proceed to throw up in on your way home and make him clean up because you fell asleep." -You piss pumpkin spice -You are giving off vibes that scream…. “I don’t do that”. Or “that’s nasty”. -Real Housewives of Egypt -"Tired looking eyes, probably from those late nights flossing those horse teeth." -"You've posted selfies to like 5 other subreddits since this post. Fucking yikes, superficial need for validation much?" -You have teeth like grave stones -Are you that insecure you can’t even post a pic without a filter on? Pathetic. -When OnlyFans inevitably fails for you you’ll always have work clearing forests with beavers. 🦫 -"Guys, I tried and don't recommend" -How do manage to stand upright with such a high center of gravity? -You have a face like a Sim -More filters than a box of Marlboro's -I guess there is no filter that can filter out desperation. -Your nudes got no engagement that you had to create this account to comment on your other account where you post them. -You autotuned your face -no NFL kicker can kick a field goal as long as your face -"Hey, why the loooooong face?" -How'd you get the personality of a hallmark card? -I didn’t know Instagram had an Uncanny Valley filter. -How are we supposed to roast you when we don’t even know what you actually look like -AI is worse than I thought -Should I filter my response like you filter your face? -Definitely has 6 cats and wonders why guys stop talking to her after she gives them the most mediocre starfish of their lives -Hope you finish paying off your teeth soon -Face like a shoe horn -Looks like you got those teeth off a Spirit Halloween discount rack -I don't know what works harder: those filters or your dental hygienist -"No amount of Industrial Lights and Magic powered filters you try to use is going to make you look like you're 21. Just stop. Embrace your age and be true to yourself. I bet if you have a teenage daughter, you're trying to live vicariously through her, and she hates you for it." -One more filter and you could use your face to purify sewage water. -"It would be helpful if you could post a picture with your original nose, for the sake of comparison." -"Face it you are over 40, the teenage party years are over." -You use more filters than Mr. Coffee and still look like a meth addicted beaver. -"Underneath the filters, there are only more filters." -Too bad those filters can’t fix your lazy eye -When you order veneers from tractor supply. -"You look like you cry when you don’t get your own way. - -And you look like you are in the top 5% percentile of women who can’t control their queefs. Big queefer." -Wasnt sure where she looking tho… bet she looks both ways before crossing the street… at the same time -More filters than the Coney Island Aquarium and probably smells as bad. -Wait… so is u/Sunny_dreamerr your account? That you made comments on your own NSFW posts? Or did you steal the images from the account? -Is that 43 horse years or human years? -C'mon guys. Do be so neeeigghhgative. -"Basic bitch looks - -Have the depth of a thimble - -Dead inside eyes - -Hitlers wet dream of ideals - -Dressed like a pumpkin spice consultant - -Grill looking so fake it makes Milli Vanilli look genuine" -"The good news for your children is when they are of high school age, they will never had to worry about their friends having a crush on you." -"Sir, you’ve gone too heavy on the lipstick." -"You are a 10, on the scale of 10 to 1 million." -How many times have you said that in front of the local highschool football team? -Aww the horse girl grew up finally -Putting that much make-up on a horse should be considered cruelty to animals. -You look like a actress that would be in a low budget lifetime film about a crazy woman that tries to steal your baby and husband😭 -Good lord the filters -I bet even your mom can not recognise you with these filters -MOOOM!! The horse got out again and is taking selfies! -Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a bridle -Makeup does more lifting than a pallet jack -You look single and not by choice. -They make dentures in different sizes. You're welcome. -You must have an oil changing business with all the filters you use. -Your polident bill must be outrageous 😬 -Recently divorced narcissist who blames her ex for the failed marriage but she’s the one that had multiple affairs. Close enough? -You too old for reddit -these roasts are gonna be the motivation for your next cosmetic surgery -You look like an elderly British horse that only eats cigarettes -Are these all nose job lawsuit photos? -Guessing a lot of guys have tried you -Most the guys in here said “again”? -Take the filter off. Youre ugly either way. -You look like you can give a guy hypothermia of the dick. -Why the filter?? -How much did you pay for those dentures? -That filter is working overtime. -Your face reminds me of a ghoul from the Fallout series -Holy filtering filters batman! -Show us your true colours -You’re honestly too boring to roast. But it seems like your ex-husband obliterated any confidence you may have had. -When did this place become the spot for transgender folks to see if they can pass in public before trying to pass in public 😂 -More filters than a hospital HVAC system. -Nice promo pictures for the reboot of Mr. Ed -Filters and Ozembic makes you look like a ghoul. -Sad times when people face filter a horse -"Damn, look so old you'll be asking us to subscribe to your OnlyWindcatchers." -Whose teeth did you steal? Go get your own dentures because some old senile man is wondering around looking for his -Stop using AI and filters -Looks like Gary Busey dressed up as a woman for Halloween. -You look like a horse -Supposed to not use filters -"Talk about dead eyes, you say you want to be roasted and yet you hide behind your filters. I bet you look like the crypt keeper" -If I used as many filters on my coffee pot as you do on your face my coffee would come out as clear water -Teeth like Busey -Stop the presses! The cave trolls have discovered filters! -"If Flint Michigan use that many filters on their water, it would be safe to drink." -You look like you would agree to go on a date with me. If you knew me you would find this insulting -"So... your husband dumped you a week ago and now you're posting filtered pictures to up your ego? - -I don't think I can trump that roast." -"The f next to 43 is supposed to mean female, not filter." -I’d try. But it looks like everybody else has already. -cant tell if youre a divorced single mom or about to be one -No you can not speak to the manager -"Heavy make up, dry hair, always get called everyone best teacher 👩‍🏫 😉😉, alien 1- resurrection main character looking gal. You definitely fighting something , maybe your dentist for fixing up your teeth to look like a horse 🐴eating radish gal." -All that filtering can't hide that lazy eye -Even the AI powers of whatever filter you used aren't strong enough to hide your wrinkles. Would have looked WAY better unfiltered. -What happened to your real teeth? The meth? -"When feeding her an apple, keep your hand flat so she doesn’t accidentally take off a finger or two. Then give her a good brush down and some nice fresh oats." -"Honestly I think there's no hope, off to the glue factory sorry." -See people! This is what we would look like if we evolved from horses. -If Multi Level Marketing was a person -That face has seen more loads than the city dump. -"Don't try to look pretty of you're asking for a roast, the filters won't change the fact that we know you have wrinkles " -You used a free filter app right? At least be confident and show you look your age rather than an alien from a horror movie. -You eat oats with those teeth😂 -I would try you but something tells me it's going to be like fucking my leather wallet.  -I wish I had as much support in life as your tits do. -Really putting the teeth in forty-three. -More filtered then a Gangese drain -There's a fine line between make-up and spackle -You should try harder and post photos without filters -"All those not in favor, say neigh" -You definitely have pictures of your kids and an Onlyfans link on the same Instagram -asking people to roast you with a filter on….. -"You and a horse walk into a bar, and the bartender say, ""Why the long face?"" - -The horse says, ""Fuck off with that tired shit man, that joke's not funny."" - -Bartender says, ""I wasn't talking to you.""" -Horse teeth having -You are one filter away from becoming a cartoon. -I think your 4 ex Husband's have tried you enough. -No amount of makeup is gonna mask that horse face. -Your face most likely looks like a catchers mitt without filter upon filter. The first time I ever seen double or even triple filters used. -U don’t look real😦 -This is a little awkward but your insecurities are showing -If only you could buy a personality as easily as you could buy teeth -I didn't know skeletor was living her best life in an alternate universe as a trans woman. -I've never seen anyone hold Chiclets in their mouth like that. -"Are you a man, woman, or a horse? 🐎 🐴" -How bad were your teeth before you got work done? Maybe should've spent more money on your floppy tits -Are you even real? Mannequins look more lively than you do. -"You pay that Snapchat filter overtime? - -Seriously though, how bad is your self esteem that you have to post (heavily) edited pictures to r/roastme? Damn maybe go find value in yourself first" -Why do you look like you died but still moving? -👁️———👃🏻———-👁️ -What ever you did they BOTCHED IT BAD. -Russian sleep experiment -Was there no filter for that sad ass you got? -Congrats on the Kentucky Derby win. -You lack the confidence to take a photo without a filter on it. -Hey you probably didn't notice but you got some filter on your face. -I had no idea Norm Macdonald dressed in drag -You look like a stripper that works a Tuesday morning.  -"Dang, that’s as good as gets with all those filters?" -lol holy shit. Plastic or Ai I can’t tell. Either way your body is going to pollute the earth for years. -Industrial grade teeth -More filters than an HVAC warehouse. -More filters than a coffee shop -more filters than a pack of cigarettes. -I cant tell whats more fake. Your tits or the very obvious face filter that cant even hide the bags under you eyes from all the sleepless nights caused from the bad decisions you made 30 years ago. -Who told their mom about AI filters? -"Horse teeth, eyes that don't care for eachother and a nose so big even the filters can't hide it" -"40yo, tryna look 20" -What’s left when the sugar daddies went to get some milk at the convenience store. Twice. -Jennifer Bury Me In the Gardner -"“Try me guys”, says the person on her fourth marriage…" -"The eyes of Xanax abuse, nothing there" -You're used to saying that aren't you? -"The hardest decision a man will ever have to make while on a date with you is which one of your eyes to look at when he tells you, ""It's was nice to meet you. You're a lot of fun. I know just the guy you should meet.""" -You have already been tried way too many times already young lady -How did you recover after you broke your neck with that awkward fall boxing. I thought Clint Eastwood pulled the plug. I was against them letting you in that fight from the start. A horse has no business being in a boxing ring. -AI makes more realistic pictures than you. -"When people say don't stick your dick in crazy, it is specifically you they are talking about. You got them slash your tires and show up at your house drunk screaming at 3am vibes going on" -I’m sure sandpaper comes way closer to your actual skin texture than whatever *that* is. -Try before I buy?; when Onlyfans loses its plural -Why the long face? -You look like Gary Bucci with a filter. -Better bad attention than no attention aye! -Definitely ready for thanksgiving with those Turkey Teeth -You pretend you have a horse and just hope the money from your multi level marketing business starts coming in so you can buy one before anyone finds out. -Filters so thick they retain water. -doesn't want roasted but wants the atta girl and attention -Looking at you saved me a trip to Easter Island -*M2F43 -Says every man she ever dated was toxic and takes her ex back to court every 6 months to see if he makes more money. -"Guessing on the amount of filters, only being 43 is also a lie." -"Guaranteed you have at least one ""live, laugh, love"" sign in your house" -So when you got veneers did you specifically ask for horse? -I thought Michael Jackson was dead? -Looks like you bought veneers from a horse. -She could pass for a rough 45 or a young 50 -I guess your tits are always out to hide that horse face. How many of your son’s friends have you tried to fuck? -Those veneers aren’t fooling anyone -More filters than Sea World. -You need to find a new denture clinic -Whoaaaaaa there Seabiscuit. Why the long face? -This is AI -Definitely a dude -"You look like every early 40s single woman alone at the bar, just waiting until someone drinks enough to finally find you ‘good enough’" -You absolutely can’t tell you spend more time “editing” your photos for Tinder than anything else in your life…and wonder all the time. “Why? I am 43 yrs old and can’t find love or anyone that’s real.” -"I’m NOT filtered at all! I live mostly UNDERWATER!! Haven’t you ever met an amphibious woman? What’s your problem, people?!!" -"I wonder what you actually look like - -All those pics and we still can’t tell" -She used photoshop so she don't look ugly but she did himself worse. -How many divorces does it take for someone to face filter on this subreddit? At least 2 right? -Are you using a filter or a light? -got filter? -All that filtering and you still look like an alien from Mars Attacks. -This filter goes to 11 -Who keeps posting ai generated women -I knew this was going to be brutal. -Those filters are about as effective as the ones of cigarettes. -Filters getting a workout huh? -Female Pennywise -"Ironic, ""try me guys"" is the tramp stamp she got at 18. But it's written in Japanese." -"It's not your cake day, take it off your face." -For free? -Why the long face? -You broke all photo editing AI in an attempt to fix your face -Filters. Burned!!! -You got that atchaforya disease. One eyes lookin atcha and the other eye’s lookin for ya. -"Your like the crust slice in a bag of bread, everyone touches it but no-one wants it" -Fire Marshall Bill really cleans up nicely! -"Nice try, A.I." -It should say Hefty under your eyes -More filters than fish store -She's got lifeless eyes black eyes like a doll's eye. When she comes at ya she doesn't seem be living -"Why the long face? -Literally why the long face?" -You look good on someone over fiddy -Probably cute 20 years ago. Now it’s just sad . 😒 -Giving “passed around by the PTA dads” vibe -How many of your son’s high school teammates have you sucked off so far? -Citizen of Whoville -Pre-OP General Grievous -"At first I thought, she's breaking those teeth in for a horse. Then I thought, she's breaking that face in for a horse. Are you a horse? When people ask your age, do you stamp your front hoof 43 times?" -No matter how much filtering you do or fake teeth you put in you cannot hide your cock bulge when you sit like that. -Thanks for watching my series on ‘how I eat apples through my lettrbox’ -A parrot fish would like their teeth back please -"I would roast you, but you aren't supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth" -You could seduce a herd of wild horses with those teeth. -"Why can't you close your mouth all the way in the last pic? Oh, horse teeth" -When was the last time you kept a meal down? -OnlyFans ain't for you. -You look ai generated -Horse Benatar -4 and 5 especially 5 is less filtered and you look pretty good. Less filtering would do you good. Filtered is not doing you justice at all. -"""Try me guys, F43"" - neigh." -"if you didn't use so many filters, you wouldn't look like some long forgotten Mii character and a Sheepshead were your parents." -"Nice titties, I mean teeth, I mean tits, teeth....dammit" -"Guys I don’t wanna do this one, she seems nice." -Long face with the mr potato teeth -You look like a mom that still tries to be young by using the Snapchat filters -Amway must have had a deal on chiclets with those chompers! You put babba booey to shame! -I mean… take the filters off at least Jesus -Imma pass. Im sure alotta guys have tried you already -"You're the type of mom that would walk out in just a towel when her teenaged sons friends were over. And while I appreciated it then, now I see how sad and weird it was when they'd do that." -JFC you're vain -So many filters that I thought it was AI as I was scrolling. -Try you? Like that's something many haven't done. -Filters working overtime. -"I’d rather not roast you, plastic fires are incredibly toxic…" -You seem like that girl that expects free drinks at a bar but only gets boxed wine from the booty call. -In the spirit of Halloween your children call you mummy all year round. -It must take you a long time to floss the cum between your teeth. -"Holy filters and fake tits, I'm surprised you don't have the super-plumped fake-ass Russian prostitute lips to complete the package." -I genuinely don’t know which direction you’re looking -Why the long face? -"You look like you should have one lazy eye, and it's disturbing that you don't" -Your eyes look like they are trying to escape your face. -If a potato peeler had a face -"You are the mum all the other mums don't leave alone with their husbands and teenage sons, the reason your own daughter won't bring home a boyfriend, the neighbour everyone knows keeps the delivery guy to long and invites workmen to stay for longer than needed, it's not much of a life but it's your life, go be the best desperate ex house wife you can be." -If you buy Jennifer Garner on Temu… -You look like the offspring of Michael Jackson and Mr. ED. -Do you use filters here because you can’t on your OnlyFans? -"Hobbies include- Pilates, hiking, dancing, and building dams with my friends." -"You and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender turns to you and asks, ""Why the long face?""" -Is it true you can eat an apple through a picket fence? -The filters can’t hide the mid life crisis -Why the long face? -You look like you live in Waco -"You’re good looking and look like a good person, ROASTED!!!" -Where's your carrot? You look like a horse -Without the filters your a 4 -"You look ai -generated" -Trying you looks like it involves missionary and benzos. -You smack of Amway products. -"Last week, a cop came to your door. You husband answered. A cop was standing there. He showed you husband a picture and asked: “Do you recognize this woman”. Your husband said: “yes, that’s my wife”. The cops said: “sorry to tell you this sir, looks like she was hit by a bus”. Your husband replied “I know, but she’s a great mother and faithful wife”." -"It appears teeth weren't the only thing lost to meth. Husband, kids, career, hope, aspirations......" -"If it wasn’t for onlyfans, you wouldn’t have any friends" -Your face looks like a skeleton key. -I didn't realize Fakedoll was a brand. -You look tired and your dentures are too big -You look stuck up -Looking like the average villan with a goddamm master plan up your sleeves -Temu Frankenfurter. -"43 and you're on the reddit holding a roast me sign, you're already cooked 😭" -Too many guys have already tried you -I think there isn't any filter that can block out desperation. -How does one roast a filter? -filter queen -"Yeah, that's cool. We just want to see tits." -"You’re that aunt or cousin that people talk about at family gatherings where they mention how you’re pretty but also desperately alone, and everyone feels more comfortable not talking about you because your existence makes people feel about as sad and empty as you are." -"Why the long face? - -Not saying I wouldn't though" -Two words: Luis Suarez -The ol' teeth & queef -comment -You look like Waldo’s sister that no one wants to find -You look like you masturbate to re-runs of Dr. Phil. -What art school are you failing out of? -You look like a school library manager combined with the student they slept with. -Ah... the practice girl. -I see you borrowed your mom's shirt. -you look like you give teethy head -You look like you dream in IMAX with that forehead. -"Please tell me the back of that sweater reads ""With a bag on my head""" -Can't wait to hear about how leaves are really good for you. Oh God the armpit no -I believe your t-shirt. But only because if you bent over we wouldnt be able to see you. -You look like you manage to turn owning stuffed animals into something sexual. -"hope to god you do look better bent over, you got nothing else goin on for you" -"Party on, Garth!" -I had no idea Big Bird was anorexic -The second picture is a view no man has endured twice -Where does your hairline end? -"You actually have a spermicide look in your eyes, I can feel them dying just seeing your photo" -">I look better bent over - -Literally any view that shows less of your face would be better." -"Geek on the streets, freak in the sheets…" -"Excuse me, teacher was that shirt made by one of the students you slept with?" -"I'm not saying anything remotely sexual to roast this person, because I'm pretty confident they're about 13. - -I don't want to suffer their mom's wrath when she confiscates their phone and reads all this." -ITS MEGAMIND!! -Hey you were great in 'mask' -The type of girl who spreads easier than mayo on a bologna and cheese sandwich. But like that sandwich no one wants to eat it -E-boy jeffrey dahmer. -"You look like a germ magnified 20,000X" -You look like the nematodes from SpongeBob 😂😂😂 -A cat has def pleasured you before -You’re what I imagine when I hear the term “vax injury.” -You look like you are majoring in an area of study that will undoubtedly make you unemployed after graduation -"yeah, I'm sure you look better bent over....that way, no one has to see your face" -You look best with a bag over your head. -You look both pre-op and post-op at the same time. -A nose ring. Shocker -It's the CEO of pronouns -"The only thing eating your pussy is Sirus.  - - -Takes it like a champ. " -Nice to see Daria had a kid -Holy shit we found Waldo! -"So your arse is better than your face, that I highly doubt. Better bent over with your head in a hole. Stick your specs on your arse and find out." -I would highly recommend using Keeps for that receding hairline -A future wifey who gets upset when your partner doesn't find the same character in a book as interesting as you do. -"If you still have your weiner, don't cut it off. This girl thing just isn't working for you. 🤮🤮🤮" -Your forehead is big enough for you to write your gender studies final essay on it -Why do all the women who post here have rings in their nose?? Boogers ain't enough??? -If asparagus was a person -We get it you’re gay. -You look like the dumb bitch type to have no idea how the interweb works and post 78 days ago that you’re 19 and now magically are 18. 🤔 -Even your face is bored of your personality. -"You’ve heard it so many times, might as well have it printed on a shirt." -you look like you smell like cheap tobacco and depression. -Looks like type that even bent over the head still can turn all the way around to fuck it all up. -How much you wanna bet you don’t look better bent over? -You'd be very pretty...if you looked like literally anyone else. -you look like that vegan teacher but younger -You look like a Waffle House waitress that does crack behind the dumpster outback -"With a face like that, anybody would look better bent over." -You look like if the goblin from the Lord of the rings just more deformed -The girl that every guy loses their virginity to for “practice” before moving in to someone else. -"Holy shit, where's Waldo had a kid?" -Daughter with an absent father or a disappointed one. -I feel like there should be a picture of you bent over -"* You look like you could peg me(I kinda like that) -* your glasses don’t do you any favors -* greasy hair -* shitty nose ring -* awkward lips -*weird eyebrows -* pale asf -* missing nails -* bulga whale forehead" -The literal state of Gen-Z white girls: cosplaying in the 90’s without the color or class -You look like you tell the barista your name is “señorita awesome” irl -Rip your inbox -"You give off lesbian who lives in a rural area scarred by a bad relationship with your father (who probably diddled you) leaving you with a mental illness that you low-key brag about, that also leads you to have a dog whom you might or might not be fucking, and you probably work at McDonalds because that degree in advanced music theory didn't work out vibes. Oh and you own a lot of plants and listen to an obscene amount of shogaze. On the bright side good political opinions though." -If you were bent over I'd think you were a paper clip. -Does your forehead have glowing capabilities ?? -First person I’ve seen that has a bigger forehead then me and I can watch an imax movie in my forehead -You're one blonde wig away from saying 'I don't know shit about fuck!' -Go to bed. -Looks better bent over so we can’t see your face -"The next time you buy eyeglasses this big from Zenni, ask them to install windshield wipers for a couple bucks extra." -your poor generation and their taste in eyewear. Mine wasn’t any better but equally as terrible. -You are almost pretty -Pretty sure I just got chlamydia looking at this picture -You look like you're still growing into your forehead. -"It looks like your lips and hairline have been in contention with one another for the last decade. In a game of ""who is the thinnest""." -You kinda look like it's your dream to get tied up by a guy for kinky sex then get forgotten about -I'll trust what the shirt says and assume your ass looks better than your face... -Trying to get past your insecurities and past issues with sex will not work when you don't maintain your body hair and smell like the restroom in a high school football team's locker room. -You look like a 40-year-old creative writing professor’s greatest regret. -You look better bent over because your asshole is better looking than your face -Kmart Jodie Foster -You look like your schools dealer sells you 100% pure weed stem -"Bangs would go a long way to covering that forehead. Also, if you’re going to wear a shirt like that… maybe post pics to back it up 🤷🏻‍♂️" -When do you start filming the next season of stranger things? -"You look like a dachshund trying to pass as a human, but not knowing anything about what actual humans wear." -You look like you’d be overjoyed to just at least be a tease. -I know like 15 people who look exactly like you -Wouldn't ride you into battle -"Looks like the before of the ugly duckling before they become hot. - -Only there’s no after. - -Ever." -You look like you believe in astrology -Can’t tell if pre or post-meth -Well lets start with not knowing how to fucking flip an image -"That's not a forehead, it's atleast a fivehead" -Forehead as wide as the whole United States -The photos got progressively worse -Daria’s big sister Diarrhea -Bless your heart -Your dream is to be sniffed by Joe Biden. -"If ""My pussy smells"" was a person." -You look like you care about women’s rights but secretly want a man to tell you what to do and pay for your lifestyle. -"Usually I find a persons face more appealing than their asshole, but in this case I’m not sure." -Ain't no way an 18 year old is wearing that shirt 💀 -How is this not an OnlyFans ad? -I can't help but think you have a very bony ass. So your shirt is lying. -You look like the boy version of my daughter -You look like you have more sperm in your intestine than gut flora ! -Do you come from France? -GTFO Daria -I can’t tell which way you are transitioning from/to. -Never seen someone get uglier just by swiping -You look like the least popular slut in high school -"“I look better bent over” - -Who would wanna get to that point though?" -"I’m sorry, but bending over, you’d still look just like this. - -Orientation isn’t your issue." -"When proposed with a choice of your face and a poop stained butthole with a reeth of thick pubes and dingle berries, even you agree your stink hole is the correct one." -I read your shirt. Do you? -"The look on her face says autism, the hair mentally unstable." -"You look like the dumb version of Ezra McCandless, but stupider." -What the fuck is up with this chicks 5 head? -"Your tinder profile says “you like a man in uniform” which makes me wonder where you and your boyfriend were on January 6th - -The sugar daddy site you registered at called and wants it oversized t-shirt back - -You probably wear those Harry Potter glasses unironically - -Your last relationship probably started with the line: “You’re an old soul and act so mature for your age.”" -I give it 6 months until you’re non binary -Daria from Beavis and Butthead had a daughter? Well I’ll be damned… -I feel for you but all I feel is bones. -"This is the girl that let's you hit surprisingly easy and soon, then you realize why and never call her again. Her nickname is training wheels because she is what everyone starts out with." -Are the glasses large to make up for your pencil like face. If your butt is like your head sex would only work in a two deminsional world. I guess the reason you right backwards is so when we see you in rear view mirror everyone knows speed up. With those lips the head you give is more teeth than pleasure. In the second pic with you laying down you look like a one time porn actress taking in the ass so you can buy ramen for supper since that is all it is worth. I'm not sure if I'm looking at a female or a femboy. With the crochet in the background I can tell you like to hang out the grandmothers. Its probably just as dry as desert. The plainess I see with you is nothing buy brown and white maybe a little color would help you out. -"You look like the type of girl, who has to go to the ER, because she got a hot dog, stuck in her vagina." -"How does anyone keep coming up with these awesome roasts? I can never make a good one in time, let alone a good one at all." -"Your shirt probably isn't lying, but to play it safe, let me ask your dad permission should he ever return home with the milk." -Gives great blowjobs but will light your cat on fire if you dump her -"I won't lie, I'd hit it. Fuck, I'd even call you the day after. Hell, I'd text to make sure you got home safely. - -Let's see the proof from the shirt" -"18???? You were 18 when you were in “Roseanne” in the 1980’s, Darlene Conner" -you have to film the camera around. I bet you were a Harry Potter kid who had a lesbian crush on Hermione. but you turned out to be a Hufflepuff. This brought you to tears and your whole world came crumbling down. -This woman loves to please her man. And your man and her man and the man at the gas station and the cab driver.. -You look better bent over. lmfao -You look like if Anne with an e and wally breeded together but turned liberal -Go out with my brother he’ll spoil you and love you forever and y’all can help eachother work on eachother and you can do what you want and he’ll gas you up and be rich someday and yall can get a Lexus and a birdhouse in the back and one of those 3 wheel strollers. And one day you’ll wonder what you even know and everything will be okay -I'd have to order an Uber to get from your eyebrows to your hairline. -She’s cute!! Wtf -You’re the type to listen to Billie Eilish to feel badass but are too scared to tell fast food workers they fucked your order -"It’s like god moulded your fivehead specifically for Reddit tributes. - -I hope you get those subs, dawg." -You look like the girl I’d spot and try and work up a ton of confidence to talk to but then psychologically I remember if her attractiveness already intimidates me a bit there’s no way I wouldn’t be a reacher at best and then I might hit the dab pen with you and we’d share a laugh but then I’d start getting sweaty palms and you’d giggle but also be grossed out I let you hit this sweaty dab pen and then leave with giving me a fake number -"I can’t say shit, I subscribe to ur Onlyfans" -Are you the dog that poops and eats it's own shit. -Pidge from Voltron looking ass -"Okay, whoever picked up that flat rock in the woods y’all need to put it back because stuff like this crawls out." -Honestly you look pretty af (not trying to sound weird) but you look absolutely gorgeous! -ew yuck! -Do you identify as a 14 year old trans boy? -"""I Look Better Bent Over"" - -Desperation isn't going to fix the way you look or help you fill the void your father left." -When you take the picture you should inverse it so the text on your shirt is readable. You are old enough to get it. -Definitely posted from grandmas living room cuz mom is still working at ups and can only afford a 1br while dad hasn’t been seen in decades. -Oh you're satanic? You'll be getting roasted for eternity that way. -Mclovin’s sister -I mean it would be hard to look worst. -"I blame Hollywood! -The 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' female reboot failed miserably" -"My name is Noah, how ya doin? - -Don't fuckin' touch me or I'm suin'." -Hi 👋 Aunt Mildred 😂 -is your dad Waldo? -If Waldo had a twin sister. -Even blind people disagree with the text in the first picture -Scoliosis couldn't make you look better bent over. -I’d offer to play Noughts and Crosses on your forehead if images were allowed here -I see why you look better bent over. Ooff -Your tinder profile says you’re 19. Which is it? -Looks like you’re going for the Nickelodeon every annoying female character blend you could have thought of. Say hi to the thornberrys for me -"Looks like your glasses are wearing you, and not the other way a round.." -"Second Picture gives ""I used to work for a satanist cult"" vibes" -"Guessing you can see into your lonely, miserable future with those coke bottle frames." -You look like mr. Poopy butthole -Still fronting i see -Can a stick figure look better bent over? Doesn’t seem to add a lot to the equation. -"Yeah right, twigs don't bend, they snap." -"You look better bent over? - -Your face looks like an ass, does your ass look like a face?" -You're so unimpressive your owner didn't even decide to include you in the second picture. I've seen smaller lense flare off the sun. -You look like Waldo is your dad and the reason he went into hiding. -Your shirt speaks wonders. How many STDS have you had -You're the girl that smells weird and no one can ever remember your name -Bet your dad doesn’t know about that shirt. -You look like you’ve made a collage of St Bernard buttholes on your wall -As bad as you look I guarantee you don't look better bent over. But honestly not bad as far as MtF transitions go. -I'm not calling you ugly. It's just I have seen better looking circus freaks than you. -comment -Oh sweetheart… you didn’t survive anything. -7 pics + zero teeth = bad teeth. Math roast. -" -You look like a trashier Kelly Bundy" -I can imagine it was tough being in high school in the 70s. -Look at the size of that rock on that ring.....How many quarters did you spend until you got it. -You werent bullied. Its just that nobody talked to you. -TIL: Not all Dutch women are attractive. -Those tattoos ain't covering up your insecurities -It's not sexual trafficking if you volunteer... -you have the complexion of a wax doll -Your forehead is so big you remember what happens tomorrow -Built like a gogurt pouch -She’s so ugly her gynecologist prefers to look in her ass. -Oh I’m sure your bullies finished on you plenty. -Long flat ass . Don’t wear tight jeans in public please 🙏 -Why are you spending so much time taking photos in a closet?  -"As a Dutch person I’d like to remind you that they were not bullying you, they were just being direct and honest. Prost!" -"Babe, what do you mean move even closer to the edge, because you can’t see the water? I’ve been moving closer and closer like you want. Just take it…Why do you want me to turn around and completely face the ocean?" -Ass like a pirate ship sail. Careful on that windy cliff. -I’ve seen Teflon applied thinner than your makeup -I get annoyed when hot chicks post on here making it hard to roast them. I'm so glad this isn't one of those scenarios -"Getting “Help me step-bro, I’m stuck” vibes" -Sneak into a kids bedroom at night and they’ll claim they saw a ghost -"Oh, I thought I was looking up mid in the dictionary" -"We get it, your 29 and the youngest of your 3 kids is 10. - - - -No, you still dont 'got it'." -I bet you got your revenge by sleeping with all their dads. -Makeup by “Paint by Numbness.” -You kind of give off that recovered homeless crackhead vibe. -"""Subscribe to my LonelyFans""" -She got that booty clenched like a rabid dog is chasing her. -You look like your pants are the only thing stopping your cheeks from being anything more than the tops of your thighs. -"You were probably bullied because you kept switching between the goth look, the librarian look, and the mom jeans look." -your weight loss is a good excuse for being saggy everywhere.... -"Your hygienist and therapist do not count as ""high school bullies""." -That mom ass makes me think you should be getting snacks ready for the soccer team while the poor guy who banged you lives with persistent regret. -"You're now asking for help building a team in Pokémon platinum, the bullying was preventive." -People didn’t bully you because of your looks. It’s because you hissed at people and ran around the school like Naruto. -Shut up Meg -"Let me guess, a bartender at Applebees that fucks every new cook that’s hired?" -Sometimes I feel bad when I think back to the people I bullied in highschool. But people like you remind me why it is so necessary -“Plain” isn’t supposed to be this uncomfortable to look at -"You look like your favorite pudding flavor is tapioca, everything in your pantry is store brand, and you were never in the top 8 of anyone’s MySpace." -A shitty tattoo for every insult no doubt! -Moonlight Bunny Ranch bartender. -High school bullies? You look 35. Were you a teacher or something? -Average Lavigne -"Your tattoos and piercings say ""I'm a strong self confident woman"" while your hair and makeup say ""if you buy me a jello shot after midnight I'll let you sleep with me and stalk your family and friends on social media""." -Looking a fake Christina Applegate -You were the bully bitch -Nice dumper. -Your ass looks like the tits of my grandmother. Hanging down like overripe fruits. -"I'm pretty sure that your booth at the gloryhole is considered a ""safe-space"". No bullies in there, just a bunch of dicks." -All the makeup in the world can't hide your shit nose. -When Kristen Stewart becomes a has been and starts an OnlyFans… -"Getting tag teamed, efiele towered, and trains ran on you isn't ""bullying"". - - -I'm not hear to judge... every town needs its town pump" -You look like you belong in a Hallmark movie AS the bully. -Holy shit. Stop putting makeup on with a high velocity air blaster -2005 called and wants its jeans back. -Do you have piles? Either that or you’re just giving that vibe -The heavy eyeliner screams ‘anal’ -Bunny boiler vibes -They bullied you? You look so blant that it doesnt seem worth the air you have to spent on saying anything towards you -Were the bullies your mirrors? -After trying to have sex with the teachers unsuccessfully you went for the special needs janitor -Wearing makeup while swimming is quite the choice. -You are the type of gal Donald Trump would grab by the pussy. -Gentlemen Do Not Prefer Blondes. -Avril Lacreme is definitely hiding scars under that mountain of foundation -I feel like you weren't bullied because your looks but instead bullied because you smell of cheese... -"Barber: ""What kinda cut you want?"" -Her: ""You know those tall A-Frame houses on the beach? -Barber: ""Say less, Fam.""" -Something tells me youd charge for an of but give it away in person if asked. -You survived bullies and Reddit but couldn’t escape the trailer park -"""... finish what they started"" - -Id try but you look like you don't follow through on much anyway, wasting my breath on you is a bit of a hat on a hat don't you think?" -"Foundation cake doesn't make up for a cleansing routine, especially when it looks slept in." -Have you considered adding another layer of foundation to cover up your uninteresting personality too? -Trashy looking chicks and being an insecure narcissist online go together like bread and butter -Just get on Onlyfans and show us your ballon knot so we can move on. -"I wouldn’t call chronic depression an achievement that correlates with “surviving.” - -Sure you didn’t crumble to your high school bullies, but then you grew into an adult and that standing prescription for Wellbutrin is a reminder that those bullies won in the end." -I questioned why all the toilet paper in pic #3… until I saw pic #4. -Your ex's still think about you when they pee and it burns -Happy cake day! (I’m referring to the concealer on your face) -Everything your bullies said is true! -"You have meth eyebrows, your ex-boyfriend is in prison and vows to kick the shit out of the next person you date, you have an overprotective father and you’re actually into women, but don’t mind when men pay the bills" -"I could not think of a good roast. Honestly, I think you would be a kickass friend and sweetheart for a girlfriend. Good luck to you! Just don't start an OF, or any similar platform creating content!" -Were you bullied for sleeping with every guy who paid attention to you? -Let's be honest. It didn't start in high school -You have old lady butt cheeks -If Christina Applegate fucked Tommy Lee without a rubber. -I always appreciate girls with ink on their back so there is at least one thing pretty to look at when I am plowing them -Pippy long bottom -you look like you were one of the bullies -Those eyes have that touched by my uncle dead look to them -Booty lookin like a spatula -Right on top of that Rose -Worst thing is that she was home schooled... -You look like years of bullying has put any future partner at risk of being chained to the bed and left there for days. -"Avril LaCream - -Honestly got nothing except that." -"Nice try Avril Lavigne, you’re still irrelevant." -Did you survive by giving them oral sex by chance? -Why you still talking about high school at 40 years old? -"Wait a second.. these are not jokes, these are criticisms 😢😭" -Smash -Your dog wags his tail when you LEAVE the house.... -I feel like at this point the people that post on here have a kink for this shit -"You look like you stand in department stores pretending to be a mannequin, scaring children when their parents aren't looking" -Being bullied has never looked so good. You better go back and thank them😂😂 -*vomits* -These OF plugs are getting outrageous -She thought the popular guy actually liked her so she sent him nudes and he showed the whole school. That's why this dumb ho got bullied in high school -"You obviously couldn't survive father time, wrinkles and gravity. You look 48." -Sup forehead… -The Loch Mess monster -Your face reminds me of middle school when girls would cake makeup on their face half an inch thick. -"Missing those locker-room gang bangs, so you came for ""something""? - -At least it's better than nothing..." -He is cute -Which prison did you get your tats in? -if borderline was a person -"Really? Glamor shots? This isn't Tinder. - -We are not impressed by your thigh gap (barely), okay-ish ass and mediocre face. - -Go to r/freecompliments already, your self esteem could probably use it." -That's a lot of foundation for a survivor. -Gollum would like his hair back -Why the long ass? -"Did they make fun of that big ass forehead of yours? Or was it already evident that when you got older you would be cursed with tree trunk legs, a lump of an ass and no discernible tits? Hopefully you didn't look like a 45-year-old mom when you were in high school." -When’s yer onlyfans coming out? It’s only a matter of time as you lose more weight and feel more confident -Looks like you survived those bullies like your acne survives your makeup. You try to hide it but we can still see the scars -If butterface was a picture. -"Has she posted her OF pink yet? - -Watch this space." -"Wow in that swimming costume you can't see the cock and balls or anything, good job with the tuck." -"They had bullies all the way back when you were in high school, grandma?" -"Asking us to finish a task 25 years too late. If you were attractive you could get away with Kelly Bundy as a role model as is, best go back to school." -How do you look 19 and 45 at the same time? -You definitely look like one of them girls who argues about being late to the party because you took to long getting ready and now you don't want to go when we are only just 5 minutes away types -you could be an influencer for Temu products -"You look like highschool was 20 years ago, get over it." -"If you mean survived by the fact you're a trans female living in a garage, then I guess yeah, you survived." -You look like you've been rattled more times than Banksy's spray can. -You got the skin of a lizard with mange -Reddit doesn't need to finish anything. Time and your needy personality are doing the job just fine. -"You should keep dousing your hair with cancer chemicals to see if you can graduate your 5-head into a 6-head. You’re not a blonde, you’re not the race you’ve let media convince you is more attractive, and you look like a clown trying to appear as such." -You are 45 years old or more. Why are you still talking about high school? -"Just save us the effort of wit, which will be surely lost on you, and go ahead and post the link." -by the amount of makeup you wear. the bullys did pretty good id say -Did the whole school bully you before or after they fu**ed you? -You look like a decaying pornstar from rural areas of Balkans -"Are you 7'6"" or have 5' ceilings?" -Even the filters cannot hide whatever that shit is all over your fivehead. -Has the personality of a wet napkin -How the hell did Home Depot mix a paint the exact color of your face? -"In pic 4 youre like "" omg look at my cheeks"" but ya legs go straight to youre back. Where are they!" -Courtney No Love -We can still see the craters under that thick layer of makeup. -If you asked the “bullies” about her they would have no idea who you were talking about. -You look like you get passed around and call it therapy -Your mascara looks like shit -"Please put on more spackle, we can still see your skin." -Was it the pancake ass? Did you get bullied cause of your pancake ass? -You weren’t bullied. Stop it. -Dollar Store Sharon Stone -There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures…and the Dutch. -If it makes you feel any better… your high school bullies didn’t bully you due to envy. 👍 -"This girl walks into a bar. Bartender looks at her and says, ""why the long ass?""" -I ordered Kelly Bundy from Temu and this is what I got…. -*yawn* -You were most likely bullied because you are an annoying narcissist that no one likes— the kind to take a bunch of selfies and upload them to Reddit to have people talk about you. Ew -Witch -Holding back the smile so you don’t crack the foundation! -I see you are often asking people online for their opinion of you so you obviously don’t have any friends -"We're you at the shore to test your prescription? - - We're you able to see land on the other side or no?" -Definitely does anal on the first date because no one wants to see her face before they nut -"Every time you were bullied, you must have grown a new pimple." -"You need to wax your bikini zone, please." -When does your forehead stop? -"""We have Evan Rachel Wood at home.""" -Girls got mashed potatoes for an ass. -You ruined a great picture with that flat ass. -"""I survived my high school bullies"" = I flaunted my family's wealth and picked on the poor and ugly kids, now I'm a broke SAHM and need a poor reason to drink ""Mommy's special juice""" -You and I would have to be both in a horizontal position and in close proximity of one another in order to roast you properly. -I’m sure it was tough out there for you. -Only you can truly finish it. Try it sometime. -You look like you collect the used condoms of the people you have sex with. -"Why you still mentioning your bullies, high school must have been like 20 years ago for you" -Skin like a porn star -Your ass looks like McDonald’s bun I left in my backseat for a couple days. -The 90's were much meaner times. -"I bet your pussy, butthole, and mouth all smell the same." -u look like a heterosexual cis-girl -JK Growling -The only thing flatter than your ass is the charisma you portray in these pictures. -"This is the running donkey color ""cor de burro quando foge"" as a person" -Here comes Barbie from Temu. -Centerfold material …. at an old dry cleaner -"""I was bullied"" = ""once a guy in my class forgot to say I'm cute""" -You look like MY high school bullies -Hello young man. -What's the bigger drop off the cliff or your ass? -You may have survived your bullies but your eyes are dead inside -We know that. We have seen your Porn Hub fetish channel. -The water was crystal clear in the last picture then your make up washed off and made it a tarnished green -Have you heard of pro active -You're going to agree horribly. Not even 25 and you got lines all over your face like a road map. And why do you have acne and broad shoulders? Trt perhaps? -You look pretty good for a dude -They obviously weren't very good at bullying then -Does the makeup help you with your persona to cover up your insecurity of not being liked in high school. -Thrift Store Adele -greta thunberg all grown up. -Did your parents have any kids that lived... -You mean home school bullies . -Glad to see Macaulay Culkin has transitioned. -You make a very convincing naturally born female -The only time you receive pick up lines are when bullies wedgie you on a flag pole. -Oh I've definitely seen your face in porn -and now they get to bully you as the Principle -Is your name Methany?? -the greatest sign of a successful adult life: two Food delivery bags. Mum must be proud that her baby got her first real job. -Is that an orca on the last picture? -Queefy Bunghole (Kelly Bundy…get it ya obviously dumb blonde?) -Great she got in the water.... Now we'll never get the smell out of the fish... -I bet you worked hard to shrink your massive thigh gap to get it looking almost normal -You look like you also survived the NXIVM cult -I’d cum to you but I need pictures to ensure you don’t have a bigger cock than me -Nobody will finish with you and I doubt they will start either. -Why are your tits in your ass? -Harley Quinn but Only Fans. -If you are a grown ass woman still thinking about how you won against your bullies it’s very clear they won lmao -"When the girls would call you a slut for sleeping with the entire sports teams. You took that as bullying? Nah, dem da facts. - -I can see your at least keeping a score card and count list in the form of tattoos. Organized Ho' tho." -"one thing is certain, everyone who gets to know you wants to get you into bed because of your personality. - - - irony is now switched off" -Who's responsible for digging this one up and putting it on display? -When you order your crack whores from Temu -"By ""survived,"" do you mean ""finished off with a rough handy in the Bucee's parking lot?""" -You wish you were important enough to be bullied -Uh no. They’re still alive and in my basement. When do you plan on picking them up? They’re stinking up the joint and we never agreed on my needing to clean up after them. This is going to cost you extra. -And now we have to survive looking at your face. -Evan Rachel Wouldn’t -You were the high school bully -You smile with your mouth but the eyes tell you are dead inside -Scuffed Evan Rachel wood -"You were surviving the bullying, but for sure nit thriving. You're not even an ugly duckling. Just ugly" -"Nose ring, vacant state, bad eye makeup...are you sure you survived?" -You are the one blonde who doesn't have more fun -Do you Dutch Oven people in elevators? -"Nevermind you, where the fuck do you live? A garage?" -"I know the stereotypes about blond women and their intelligence. I just have to ask for the sake of my sanity: what where you thinking on the cliff picture? You have your glasses on your head. Not sunglasses, but your normal glasses. Why? Was it to difficult to remove them completely for 1 mediocre picture or were you scared you would loose them and hoping anybody would notice?" -I once knew a girl who looked very similar to you. I can't write what she did without getting banned here. -Is this a roast or a model audition? I’m confused -You’re still fat. -Methany -Poor man’s AJ Applegate -"If you were a High school teacher, your classroom would be decked out in teal stripes, polka dots, bitmoji's and the whole ""Boho"" aesthetic. (Derogatory)" -Pwoh you’re so beautiful! Not roasting hihi -You look like your favorite scent is the potpourri sprayer inside a Bath and Body Works public restroom. -Did they bully you as a boy back then? -Your cheek acne around your mouth is the only note worthy part about you. -"Oh look, another walking cliche." -I think she’s very attractive. -Belgian here…. I suppose Canadian to be exact. But Belgian roots. I’ve never been so offended. -So it took you 30yrs to heal. Good for you. -Your transition did not age well. -“Survived high school bullies” is probably your peak accomplishment. -"you not only outwitted, outlasted and outplayed those losers, but my sweet summer child you are absolutely stunning." -You look like the trashy Version of Georg Marshall Coopers wife. -Corpse Bride. -You've been fucked in the back of a few cars in your life time.... -"You can’t always blame bullies for your undoubtedly poor life decisions. “I always wanted to get pregnant by a deadbeat at 15, mama.”" -Christina Applegate post meth -No amount of makeup can cover those moon craters on your face. -1st pic looks like you gotta hit the lesbos like Dani Daniels -I survived bullies just to fail at OF -Your 🐱smell like fish -"Tradwife Elizabeth Holmes; an extra for no reason, fraud mixed with an Isaac Hayes soundboard. Blessings on whoever locked this L down." -"Girl, you are so beautiful. F the bullies, I hope they didn't destroy your heart, you don't deserve it <3" -Were your parents brother and sister? -You belong to Slytherin -We all know why the close ups are in long sleeves -Nope -You definitely have birth to a premie at your prom and flushed it down the toilet. -You look like an awkward dancer. -The gap between your tits must be nice to hold your cereal bowl -Why the long ass? -I don't want to roast you. You look like you've had some negative experiences and are pulling yourself out. Good job! I don't know you but if my read is correct you should know that an internet stranger is proud of you! -Orangutan Booty ! Those cheeks like like they're 3ft long ! -Your ass is melting down the back of your legs -Dunno why would bullies waste time on you. -Sophie Turnip -All at once? -Another mediocre white girl with a nose ring for attention -Sorry your butt isn't quite what you wished it were. -When? Forty years ago? -"ur actually rlly pretty, got ‘em" -You probably lived long enough to become the bully to feel better about your husband beating you. -So beautiful.. the view.. I wish you'd move -The “I have PTSD” poster child -You survived the bullies but the black eyes remain. -When's your bottom surgery? -Only roasting you need in on a spit -The tattoos scream whore -You might have survived but much like a house fire the emotional damage can be seen from miles -"No. You look pretty sweet. You don’t need this. -I hope you have a nice life." -You have the biggest dick of all men. -Temu Avril Lavigne -"7 pics, 4 with engagement ring …." -Is there a reason you’re hiding your chiclets like Anne Frank? Is it because they look like Stonehenge with years of cigarette stains? -I’d like to see more of that sea but there’s a monstruous ass blocking the view. -Mind if I borrow some of the pancake batter on your face so I can make breakfast? -Best nice. Fentanyl will claim her soon. -There’s not enough foundation in the world to cover up that constellation of pimples you’re trying to hide sweetheart. -Unrapable -Forehead for days. -You look like your love language is “anal” -"You've either lived rough, or have been out of high school for a very long time." -"No one’s finishing you, even your bullies didn’t want to" -Finishing what they started 20 years ago is insane! I guess I can help run the train on you. -1000/1000 -Mom jeans aren’t doing you any favors. Try wearing them over your face -"Dont really know what to say. You look like a basic starter pack for OF, I guess?" -"Never mind Christina Applegate, she looks more like AJ Applegate (don’t google AJ if you don’t know who she is, it’s NSFW)" -Gwen Sta-barnyard -If you rearrange some of the letters in her username you can spell thott 😂🤣😅 -Tokkie. Geen tanden. -Survive? That's crazy -Not bad of an ass for a white girl…Rump Roast -"Home school was rough, huh?" -"Peyton Manning called, he wants his forehead back." -Did they attach your head to a much larger woman’s body? I’m seeing some mismatch in the blue jeans pic. -Look like the CEO of white trash Theranos -Your doppelganger is Kate McKinnon in your role for the movie masterminds. You're welcome -Ur fanny is so big it can fit 10 penises at once -Avril lavigne is that you? -Your middle finger looks like a hot dog half way out the bun... and here i thought bullying works........ -"They’re still living rent free in your head, I see." -"You got chin of Tyson Fury and the shoulders of Michael Phelps. If they ever invent underwater boxing, my money is on you queen" -The extra layer of spackle really helped. -You suck more than my vacuum cleaner. -I thought you were cute… until I saw photo #4 -Wait are these people real? I just stumbled across roast me but she doesn’t look ugly or anything like some ppl are saying 😭 are ppl on Reddit like chronically online? Like if u don’t look like Madison beer ur ugly? -"This ones got a lot of mileage, damage to the grill and a bad paint job. You can get it for cheap." -"I know your lonely, but begging reddit to finish? Common build some self respect. " -Body Count: +100 -Nickname was probably “choo choo”. Many guys have ridden that train! -I didn’t know “surviving” was code word for “blowing.” -You're too pretty to roast. -Hairy Underwood -You can't blow all the bullies on the internet like you did in HS. -"I'm sure if anything she was bullied because she was the high school swimming pool, everyone took a dive." -Looks like they already finished on your face -"Who could bully THAT? Sorry, un-roastable from here. You’re a beautiful lady" -Did they bully you about the fucked up shit all over your face which you try to hide with too much foundation? -I can't tell if u have a camel toe or a moose knuckle in that swim suit -Is your ass made of ice cream? Cuz that shits melting down your legs -At least someone commenting might finish on you for the first in your life. -Hahaha nice ass. -"Is ""highschool bullies"" the nickname for all your baby daddies?" -Solid 3.5 -How many guys have failed to obey the law of “crazy eyes” and ended up dumped off that cliff? -20 years later and still suffering from the high-school bullies. -Your makeup was done by the local highway paving union 342. -You should make an audio of high school bullies and play it back as you orgas$m that’s my homework assignment for you! Look me now biat$&s -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -Hang on. Which way are you transitioning again ? 🤔 -I can’t tell if dick scares you or you scare dicks -"You look like you have a promising career ahead of you, sitting behind counters refusing reasonable requests that are well within your job description and then telling people not to raise their voice at you." -"I can fix her - - -(Sees third pic) - - -Um, no, I can't " -"Pics 1 and 2: ""She's not bad looking to not have had any romantic partners."" - -Pic 3: ""Ahhh, that's why."" It was like a reverse ugly duckling post." -It is probably because you tell guys about your transition in the second sentence of every date you go on -Destined to get yelled at by a totally fucking crazy person no matter which bathroom you choose. -I have seen 0/6 walls with defender get more action than you. -20 fe(male) -Looks like you'll have to define your life by Magic: The Gathering of many cats. -You play MTG. Ask out literally any of the males you play with and they'll say yes. That or start your cat collection. -I wonder why you didn't have a romantic partner since you're a very handsome young boy -">20F, usually drawing or playing MTG. Never had any romantic partners...bet ya'll can tell me why - -Well, look, I'm no expert, but spending most of your time drawing pictures of and pretending to be Marjorie Taylor-Green is quite weird and not particularly endearing to potential partners." -Ellen to Elliot in 3 stages. -You look like the clone of a young Corey Feldman that didn't turn out right. -Just looking at you makes me bored and sleepy. -I'm guessing it's because you have a dick -Life is like a box of chocolates. This one's gluten free. -Why do I feel like your pubic hair is in dreads and reeks of patchouli and desperation. -The dude in the 3rd pic might be open to it if you asked him out -Let your beard grow some chick will dig you. -rick moranis in drag. -I've seen bodybuilders with less testosterone than you in the third pic -Your pictures will help me to master the no nut november without effort. Thank you for that... -You're a dude -"I thought, wow youre a pretty good looking young man... then I read your title. And I thought, Wow youre a pretty good looking young man." -Clearly not a great MTG player. Can't even summon a partner. -"in the 3rd pic you look like whadda ya call it, one of dem dere trans-testicles." -turned into a boy in just 3 photos -The 2 fingers is that for the number of parents you've disappointed or the number of uncle dicks you take at a time? -I'm glad you put '20F' on there because I wasn't sure. Maybe you should put that in big letters on your shirts so others know also. -"I can't tell what direction you're transitioning, so maybe that's why." -"You keep playing with Marjorie Taylor Greene.. that is enough to make MOST men walk away. Actually, (walks away)" -"You are on the spectrum....just don't know if it's the gender one, autistic one or a combination of both." -My dude. You're either a lesbian or trans in denial. Possibly both. -Hello Elliot! 👋 -"You're a handsome dude, I don't see the problem." -"1 and 2 are fine. The 3rd one looks like ""Earnest Went To Reassignment Surgery!""" -You look like your clit is GIGANTIC -Tapped a female land and male land to play an asexual -nice try posting ur brother's pic at number 3.... but he's better than 1st two. -"Probably because you look like their younger brother, not quite an attractive girlfriend" -"Are you a boy or girl -Sorry I can’t tell" -Wouldnt tap you even if it was turn 2 and im already land starved -You turn every game of MTG into tragic the gathering. -What a beautiful boy -Michael Cera’s more mid brother. -"Yikes, Green Day poster on the wall, MTG, and you don't know it's y'all? You either need looks or personality and according to pic 3 you've got neither." -Our search for the new face of Asperger’s is over! -"Woman, woman, man. Wtf is up with that 3rd picture? That's a straight-up guy." -"Playing MTG as girl and can't get laid!!?? -You really tapped out." -Because you look like the offspring of Garth and Wayne from Wayne's world? Foxy! -Not sure if being androgynous halves or doubles your chances of getting dates… Thanks for clearing that up! -Your mono black deck is brighter than your future sexual life. -Has a closet full of flannels and a Subaru Outback -Those 2 fingers are your romantic partners. -that got weird real fast -My name is Taylor but I go by Tyler -"First two pics have a completed transition to a girl, (and I may have seen you a few weeks ago out at the bar). - -Second pic is a girl who refuses to transition, despite wearing a strap-on under her pants in public, ""for fashion""" -What way are you transitioning? -Pic #3 look like you could play peppermint patty in live action Charlie Brown movie. -Could be the billboard size forehead.  -U look similar to ellen like if she was younger -That third pic is like the B side of old 45 records. No interest in it! -"before you pick romantic partners, I think you should specify clearly which gender you are through your looks." -The curious case of bend a minge mutton -Pic 3 explains everything and more. Frame it. -"That's a man, baby! - -Seriously, you have a handsomeness.... Gotta turn that into a prettiness." -"These titles are getting really redundant...""playing MTG..."" and ""never had romantic partners..."" in the same damn sentence." -The universal haircut for “don’t talk to me” -Try removing “pre-op trans” from your tinder profile. -The 3rd picture left their fedora at their clubhouse fucking incel. -"“Ya’ll can tell me why”: because you keep recommending fantasy books that I “need to read”. - -Also, one of these is not like the other!" -Transitioning is going terrible btw -"I’ll actually be fair, you look great, at least you look better than you did in the last Austin Powers movie." -You look like Richard Garfield has you locked in his basement putting lotion on the skin. -You must play a lot of Blue decks -No romantic partners? Isn't that your boyfriend in the second picture? -You look like bread dough feels -"As a player of Green, I tap many things. Creatures, lands, artifacts... Throw in my Black and White preference and there's nothing I can't and won't tap. Except you." -"Get a job, dude. -Maybe you’ll meet someone who wants what you got. - -I just saw the last pic. - -Yeah, Probably not." -"Probably because you brand yourself as edgy because you like to wear black and listen to Green Day. - -You might as well listen to Blink 182 and call yourself a punk." -You play MTG. -you look like a dood -That 3rd picture is your +1/+1 androgynous creature token. -You look like you play pure blue decks and like it -You look the way I imagine most MTG players smell. -I can tell you why. You play magic the gathering. Hope this helps -"You look like you thought an Atraxa deck would make you friends. The switch from pic 2-3 makes you look like a bad Inistrad flip card. - -“When this creature transforms, return boner to the graveyard. Discard all interest”" -"Pics 1 and 2 had me questioning how you have had no romantic partners, picture 3 provided the answer" -Mana is the only thing getting tapped at your place. -You can't find a date amongst MTG players the most desperate awkward group of men on the planet? I think you roasted yourself -It’s because you play mono blue -It looks like you're your own little brother -"You look like the type of person to keep a starting hand with no lands, cause ""it'll work out"", then get confused when you lose." -You’re definitely the asshole who plays land destruction -1777 was when the hairbrush was invented. And you still don’t own one -You look as boring as a deck of land only -Ok here comes the toast . You look like if Patrick seater and Bruce Lee had a baby with this weird mullet hair thing going on. Via video game is the only time you get to play with a boy stick . You even have thin lips like a virgin -If we keep it 1/2 we good…3 is one of the bros tho… -Born a female? Are you a man or a woman? -the 3rd pic is her unleashing her inner lesbian -You are like the perfect blue player. You don't even need to negate the attemp from the opposite gender because they won't even try to take action. -"Well, first off you're an 11 year old boy, not a 20 year old female." -Ambiguous AF -"I know guys don't hear enough compliments, so nice flannel." -"Pics 1. & 2. Can't land herself a Chad - - -Pic 3. Becoming the Chad" -You are turning out to be Phage the Untouchable. 🥲 -God there are gonna be hella simps on this thread. -It looks like your dream job is sending emails and working across functional teams while going for coffee for your colleagues. -AI is breaking. It can't figure out how to keep a consistent person image. -Honestly... I want you to run a DnD game for me 🤷🏽‍♂️ -Classic blue mage -The guys you play magic with have less balls than you. -You look like you're afraid to identify as anything. I suspect your commader of choice is as devoid as you are. Kozilek? -I bet you draw cards before your untap phase -The third pic looks like you work for geek squad -You look like the commander player that brings the cEDH deck to the casual 7 table -You’ve definitely built a power level 4 squirrel tribal -Which model Subaru do you drive? -"You look like a mono blue player. You look like you’d run a Flubs deck. You probably run 10 basic lands in a mono color. I doubt you can even counter a 8/8 flying, trample, double strike, death touch dragon." -Picture 2 she is showing us her only romantic partners. ✌️ -You look like you play a mono blue deck without the control aspect -That's one piece of land that will never get tapped. -You’re like a blue mana card in MTG. Nobody wants to tap you. -You look like the closest thing you could get to revenge is throwing shredded paper. -"I know we’re all for jokes here, but you shouldn’t put yourself down like that, you seem like a chill dude." -"if you looked any more androgynous, you could be tapped for colorless mana" -Because everybody’s probably just as confused as I am. I honestly don’t know if you’re a chick or a dude. -"Why? Maybe because you Shot your own mother right after she gave birth to your sister. Maybe because your father is the Towns sherrif. Maybe because you are a young biy in His early teens. Maybe, because there are Zombies everywhere and simply leave No riom for romance, CORAL!!!!!" -u look gay -even the most thirstiest boi will have second thought to even dare approach you. penis sense something is off about u -The third pic is totally a guy if you don’t tell me your gender.maybe these make me think you’re bisexual lol sorry -"Son, if you're gonna try to pass off as female, you have to try to look feminine." -Just another “American Idiot” -What’s MTG stand for? Masturbating to God? -How do you play Marjorie Taylor Greene? -"God felt lousy while designing you, he draw an egg and put on it a wig and glasses" -Take a walk on the wild side… -Caption says 20F. Pics say 47(?) -It’s probably the influx of stank that permeates that food hole. I could be wrong though. The last picture does you no justice at at -"When Playing with that one person that loves land destruction. - -Uptap my Heart." -"yes, I can tell why, if you are drawing or playing with marjorie taylor green, I am sure that is a huge turn off for many potential partners." -Your still only have Tom as a friend on Myspace -You look like tye sheridan -Pic 3. Strong jaw line bro -You are a perfect example of M2F transition failure. Those eyebrows aren't doing you a favor either -For the sake of humanity please do not ever post your face online! -you can be a boy for halloween -If Monesy was a girl. LMAO. -Pic #3 I didn’t know Corey Feldman had a twin brother. -The legend says you used to have huge cock -"I didn't start this on the toilet, but that's where I ended up." -You make a great MTG swamp creature... 2 finger smelly - with trample -"The 2 fingers you're showing, is/are your romantic partner I guess." -Plaid don't get you laid. -">Never had any romantic partners - - -Sad to learn that your dad wasn't the romantic type, but look at the bright side, you still look like a 12 year old boy and there are plenty of Diddys out there, have fun." -"pic 3, you look like a teenage boy" -10 year old boys are too young to be worrying about romantic partners. Just be a kid while you can. -You must be the envy of the entire Trans community. Never seen someone transition to the opposite sex simply by putting their hair up. -You look like you're reverse Benjamin Buttoning the trans agenda -The curious case of Egon Spengler... -Try some feminine frames and bleach your mustache. -cause your a 20M -Dude looked like a lady -The only dick you’re gonna get is the one you already have. -Has this become a ‘guess the gender’ board? -Your self portraits be like draw me like one of your femboys -You got one of them “I’m about to burst into tears about something I think you said three years ago” faces -"Look, somebody needs attention" -No romantic partners that didn’t vibrate -You’re a good looking woman so I suppose you have the shittest personality to the point that no one wants you. -"You're like Benjamin Button, except for attractiveness. The longer you look, the uglier you get" -"Hurry up Velma, Scooby and the kids are in the van waiting for you." -"Now that’s a face only a DM could love (someone needs to be cast as the half Orc, half Gelatinous Cube love child)" -"Maybe if you stopped pretending that you're a Female, you'd get one." -"Yeah, nice try bro" -Yeah.. you look like the type is person I'd expect to find at a magic tournament -You are a male trying to live as female but you not trying hard enough??? -"Never had any romantic partners, huh? - -I can only imagine the awful things those two fingers have seen and what they must smell like all the time." -"You're not unattractive. Even the haircut in the last picture isn't awful. But you play MTG, so I'm assuming you're just a nasty slob and somehow managed to clean up just enough to take 3 pictures." -"2/3’s F -1/3 M - -Who’s roasting who?" -"Is the dude in pic 3 your brother, a cousin or male doppelganger?" -You’re very handsome. You’ll get a gf soon my dude -Gwen Shapiro -"IDK why you're single, bro. You look like a handsome lad." -Face down a** up. That's the only way they can get it up🤣 -"Party on, Wayne!" -First time I’ve seen beer goggles on someone else that have worked on me. -Probably because you look like a young boy in the third pic -Because you haven't yet come out of the closet but you definitely will. -You know why -lol -Thought you were PirateSoftware for a sec there -Bonne chance -Cause ur a dude? -"I don’t think they are worried about the MTG. - -Think they’re worried about the MTF." -Are you- what’s going on here? -Why your perfect -Mana duress go -im guessing that this entire world and reality kicks your a\*\* everyday and you have no motivation to do anything about it -Jason Schwartzman -Obviously an Azorious player. -It's Pat! -You would scream sexual harassment while having a orgasm -It's morphin' time -Probably never leave the house -Probably play blue -What a handsome young man. -Geeks are shy. Ask them out -You make a very pretty boy I must say -For one...you still say shit like...romantic partner. Lol I've never had sex would've been fine. Lol -I want to know more. -"I bet you wish you were a land card, so someone would tap that." -Halloween came early. -Le haría un brrrr a la pelirroja -Hew the entwood bro -"I don't get it, you post two pics of yourself, and one of your brother?" -Wow the surgery failed you man -The 'Tism silently screams from this one. -Couldn't handle being an average looking dude so switched up to being a below average looking chick -"Androgyny called it wants you to stop, now." -No need to roast you young man🤣 -No romantic partners? I hope you don't suck at drawing. -Definitely bangable for a guy -You’re surrounded by blind idiots. -Nice try bro…we know a dude when we see one. -"Chat, how cooked am I if I admit I'll hit on that" -"I was going to say that you've never had a partner because you never leave your room, but that third picture confused me." -"Finally, someone brave enough to make nerds unsexy again." -No one will ever tap that swamp -Mid -Let's start with the basics... do you or do you not have a penis? -As a spokesperson for magic the gathering....we do not claim her... -You look like you’ll stab someone over slenderman. -Young Rachel Levine -Bcuz your autistic -Sorry bro -You look like the David Spade and Dana Carvey collaboration we never asked for -I bet your grandma says you are very handsome. -"Are you a adjective, or a verb?" -You look fine to me. Maybe ditch the Velma/Clark glasses? -You misspelled...F? -"Magic the gathering isn't going to attract men, neither is the ""i was a girl now I'm almost a boy"" look." -Bro -You look like quinoa is the 7th most said word in your vocabulary. -Ok sometimes god fucks up. -I'm guessing as you remind me of my little brother. -"For a second, I thought you were the pheromone maxxing guy." -Finding out which chromosome you have is like pulling a Black Lotus card. -The glasses still can't hide the eyebrows -Just need some fake buck teeth and you’re all set for a Halloween costume. -You male or female not clear 🤔 -It could be because you are either a very masculine female or a very effeminate male -"Damn, you miss gendered your self on pic 3." -How long have you been female? -If you could even get a boyfriend they probably would have called you Hairy Potna -TGG -Probably play Slivers. -Hermione Potter -"Trans ‘woman’ -Not had the surgery, wonders why women dont fancy him….." -Are you transitioning from guy to girl or girl to guy? -You look like a decoy for someone to sneak out at night. A mannequin head wrapped in winter sheets -"No permanent partners and no cards to play to find one. - - -I think we finally found a use for Barren Glory card" -Transitions are wild the third is another person -You are cute 🥰 -Can't figure out if you're the inserter or the insertee huh you little hybrid you... -Oh boy. -Rosie O'Donnell vibes -No romantic partners you say? That's because you look like a twink and a lesbian. -What’s up with the mark on the chin? Is it just a skin fold? -Most men are probably worried that 3rd picture may unexpectedly peg them. -You’re the cutest Japanese boy I ever seen. -You look like a mouse who’s been separated from his refugee family that mistakenly believes that there are no cats in America -You look like a dude in that 3rd picture -You look like you were born a man. -F / F / OOF -Skrillex got a sex change -"I'd hit Pic 3 to get with Pics 1 and 2. You're attractive enough, but something about Pic 3 isn't doing you any favors." -So that’s where Seth Rogan went -You mean to tell me you’re not my cousin Derek? Bullshit -"Hi Thor, your YouTube channel is one of my favorites!" -Claims never had any romantic partners then holds up two of those partners.. -"The feminine thing about you is the makeup in the first 2 pics, dude." -Those glasses have seen a load or two. -Paper bag her and I see no problemo -"20F...? - -Are you sure?" -You look like a they. -If those Magic The Gathering wimps don't get a boner from actually having a girl in their presence the only way to go any lower is to become a D&D Dungeon Master. Ever go to Dragoncon? Well try it. If some guy doesn't hit on you there you might as well you are doomed to a lifetime of virginity. -You look like your name is actually Xantham. -Their conscious:  I think we need to have a talk. -You have no partners because nobody can tell what gender you're going to be today -"MMM Bop looking ass, Zack n Cody looking ass .. ""are you collecting the homework from last night?"" looking ass .. rolling backpack, Nintendo DS linking before class looking ass... type to cover up your answers during a quiz looking ass" -Can't understand why single 🤔 -You sure about that F? -The lack of romantic partners is linked to the herpes you contracted for the 12 person you gobble off every 5 hours -Typical RDW player -FYI - Swimming in the lady pond does count as a romantic partner. -The new Pat on SNL. -I get super bad breathe continously pms'ing vibes -Bud Light’s new spokesthey -"Sorry, some of us dudes are just not into other dudes." -Coming out as trans in 3…2…1… -I found the romantic partner in picture 2. -"We're not your parents, it's okay to flip your nose ring out now" -"That's a.""man,"" baybee" -"fathers disappointed -mother sad she’ll never get grandchildren -guess they will have to pickup a hobby like pickle ball" -"Being androgynous is probably hard. It all has to do with prenatal hormone exposure. I used to make fun of trans people, until I read the book “Behave” by Robert Sapolsky. - -Poor girl put herself on here to get roasted; I don’t get why she would do that … glutton for punishment?" -your forehead is a tenhead -"third pic, Jeffrey Dahmer vibes" -"You can put string lights in your room, paint your nails, wear nerdy girl glasses and grow your hair out. But people will still notice your face shape and after 5 ‘o clock when the shadow starts to form." -Joe dirts sister or not.. I’d still smash -It looks like you cried the first time you shaved your mustache off. -Consider MMA or boxing with that chin. -Idk if ur a boy or girl but I don’t wanna find out. -Will you be playing in hot tub Time Machine 3? -Big oof. Little oof. And all the oofs in between -F stands for femboy right? -You have more dice than friends. -"You are the type that they finally get asks to go on a date, and then you finish the date early so you can go home and read." -Once in the sack he realizes you have a bigger johnson than him? -"Picture 3 is the reason why. Looks like your twin brother wants to fuck you, and scares off anybody that comes sniffing around his sister" -You look like David Duchovny playing the trans DEA agent in twin peaks. -Weird...the second pic is of you and your romantic partner. -Your pronouns are gross/nasty -You said the same thing 3 different ways -comment -"You look like you were 21 21 years ago, before you started your life long career as a hotel maid" -You're built like a Nokia 3310 and everyone has their fingers all over. -Look old enough to have a 21 year old daughter. -You would be totally safe on a public train full of 20-30 year old men in India even in a swimsuit -I bet you get real sweaty when you sleep. -Andrea The Giant. -You look like you can sneak snacks into movie theaters by hiding them in your nose. -"I can't decide if you're crosseyed or just unfortunate. - -Definitely unfortunate though." -"You're what they call a ""Mexico 7.""" -The most 48 looking 21 year old I’ve seen -I’m 42 and I’ve been taught never to be rude to my elders. -"Every picture says “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed”" -You look like a premade sim from the Sims 3. -You look like if bologna had a first name -Wish my parents tried as hard to stay together as your eyeballs are. -Only way anyone’s hittin’ that’s with a semi. -You look like the ‘before’ pictures of a makeover advertisement. -Obsessed with white guys that would never love you -Your face makes me realize why they invented burkas -I would only breed with you if I wanted my daughter to look like Andre The Giant -Transsexuality: So simple even a caveman could do it! -stop wearing your mothers clothes -"I'm sorry, I'm not interested in subscribing to your OnlyFan." -Is your dentist the same person that put down your laminate?! The floor and your teeth both have the same level of warping… -Picture 3 looks like one of those computer renderings of what a caveman looked like -When is your daughter’s quinceanera? -how is there so much nose but so little space for air -21?! -Well at least we know this isn’t a trick to get us to buy her OnlyFans. -Muslim Ms. piggy. Ain’t none of your people eating that. -"Momma said, if you ain't got nothing nice to say, say nothing." -"Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Pleistocene." -You look like you came out of the womb wearing dentures and complaining about your social security check. -Bro my aunt is 50 with a younger face -Your face has been DYING for you to be a 43 year old mom your whole life. -They usually say black is slimming but in your case you’ve once again proven social norms to be incorrect -Them eyes so crossed you got tear stains on your back. -More annoying your face or you being the human that answers after 47 robo call prompts -Don’t think anybody would ever card you at a liquor store… -Your picture has a terrible accent too. -Harambe lives! -21?!?! -I honestly do not at all believe you are 21. Before I read your age I thought you were Cosplaying Consuela from family guy. You look like you're in your 40's -Bacon Sweat -Pocahontas in America modern day but fatter and disappointed John Smith is a racist -Tell your father two goats. No more. -I guarantee you’ve said “we need more lemon pledge.” More than a few times -Jane the “virgin” -I mean I’m sure you’re nice… but I also understand why he left you and the kid. -"Aww, she took a break from throwing barrels at Mario to get roasted on Reddit, how cute." -You got one eye looking at me and another eye looking for me… -I'm pretty sure I saw Steve Irwin catch you in a net and explain your importance to the ecosystem and then release you back into the wild. -"You've all heard of Cro Magnon Man, well ladies and gentlemen: the Cro Magnon Woman!" -You look too ethnic but not black enough or Southern white enough to be saying “Y’all.” -sorry not interested in your Only Hams account -One eye is asking the other for directions and they both pointed to autism -Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. -21? You look like my tia and i'm 38....... -Is this the strong sister off Encanto? -As seen in the bargain bin at the Traffickers' Bazaar -I say that your deportation is coming soon. -This girl rocks a 70s bush that her Grandmother's generation would've supported -If I ordered Mia Khalifa from wish.... -21? Is that metric for 46 in American? -"Damn, I thought you were a caveman in the close up photo." -You have one eye that's so good looking the other eye can't stop staring at it. -Ethnically ambiguous Ms Piggie in the new more inclusive muppets show. -You feel things very deeply and you have strong emotions. You have a tender heart. Be more discriminating when choosing friends. -21 in dog years? -"""Yo, yall got Selena gomez?"" - -""Nah fam, we got gelena somez.""" -IDK What They Will Say About You. BUT I DO KNOW AND MEAN WHAT I'M GONNA SAY AND I AM NOT TRYING TO DISRESPECT YOU OR MAKE MYSELF LOOK OR SOUND LIKE A CREEP BECAUSE I'M NOT but I think you are a very beautiful woman😬🙏🏻✌️sry -"You look *just* like your dad, don't you? " -You look like you make your own tortillas -Check her shoulder for the vaccination scar -You work at t mobile your life is bad enough i dont need to roast you (speaking from experience) -you look like you make embarassing tiktoks -You know you lost your mind when your trying to make a phone call index cards -I’m thinking either a chicken burrito or a chicken tikka masala. Can decide. Help. -All we have to say is LOL -Jesus Christ! That third pic is fucking horrifying. -"The translation to Spanish would be: - -“¿21? ¿Me estás jodiendo? Solo porque estás aquí ilegalmente, no significa que te inventes una nueva edad para ti mismo.”" -21 my ass! -Bullshut she's looks old enough to be my mom and I'm old enough to be her daddy -Didn't know that Consuela was in OF -Our eyes match when I look at you -You look like the character in a tv show who only speaks Spanish that the writers bring in to show that another character can speak Spanish -No mystery there. Anyone who marries you is getting beans and rice with every meal. -Oh god I would just get banned again....I'm good -"You look like a Frida kahlo and Mia khalifa had a baby, you look like Moto Moto, you look like Mr potato Head. Anyways toodles 😜" -I bet it takes forever to shave the pubes. -You look far to innocent for a roasting 😂 -Your 7-11 shift must have ended early -I loved you in those Geico commercials. -First things first. Get off of Reddit and get an attorney to get a restraining order against whoever is making your face so swollen -Your eyebrows somehow make Frida Khalos unibrow look incredible. -35 yr old Honduran maid stole a 21 girls identity. -Lay off the butter chicken -"Your nose is the most a-symmetrical thing in existence, it’s got so many lumps it looks like a different nose from every angle." -Funny how everyone has confused her for Mexican when she is actually Indian.  -I'd date you if you weren't so mean -You must get it at the nursing home on bingo night grandma -Your a sweetheart 💕 -"Growing up we couldn’t afford much, especially movies. So my mother to make sure I wasn’t left out would purchase bootleg copies of movies. Now being bootleg, certain imagines would be altered. One of my favorites like all time favorites was Pocahontas." -You look like the housekeeper at super 8 motel… -You don’t look a day older than 42. -Well. I don't have anything good to say. -when voldemort mates with a shark.. -"21? Damn you got city miles on you, and by that I mean that most guys probably just use you and leave." -21 yr old with a face of a 41 yr old -You look like a 40 year old that’s had 2 divorces. -21 going on 48 -Oldest 21 yr old I ever seen -"You look nice, welcome to adulthood." -If Bigfoot shaved. -You look like someone looked at your post history and predicted what you'd look like  -"Entered the country illegally, just to take advantage of Taco Bell’s value menu" -You look like an HR person in a scam call center -You look young for 50 -"You look great for 40, how many kids do you have?" -WHAT no unibrow -You wanna make me happy? Don’t smile. -Overweight Dora the potatoe -Follow my finger -"You look like the dad from - The croods" -You look like your kidnappers would return you for talking too much -"This is the Indian friend you need to pacify before you get to the main target when out on a night of clubbing, lest she throw a hissy fit and cockblocks you - -Gentlemen, you've been warned" -Your the 44 year old Costa Rican nani that dated the high school kid ? -Octomom’s mom -Legit cavewoman -Consuela the early years. -Is photo number 3 you naked in the prison showers? -You’re doing a wonderful job of managing your autism. -“AI.show me a mouth I shouldnt put my penis in” -Show me where dem truffles are at girl -When you tell your partner you’re gonna take a bath do they ask where they’re gonna hose you down at? -For some reason it looks like someone put your eyes in upside down -Are you homeless? -"You know you'ew only suppose to divide your age by half, and not your bodyweight, right?" -You look like you’re 47 -Honey! my car’s warranty ran out almost 2 decades ago. -42/M. Fat and Ugly. You need a green card? -"Just called tech support, so you’ll be hearing all about it as soon as you take me off hold" -Somewhere out there is a string of young men thinking they definitely dodged a bullet. -You look like the prequel to Selena’s manager -You look like a 50yo Indian woman pressuring her son to marry a nice Indian woman and not that white American hussey he’s been with for 8 years -🤪 -21? 21 years ago right? -"1 medium Pepsi Slurpee, please." -What a possum would look like as a human. -You try on people’s clothes when you’re cleaning their hotel rooms? -I'd say learn your good angles and never face directly at the camera: nobody wants a big faceful of that shnoz.  It's like you're the long lost eighth dwarf: Mopey. -You must really relate to ghosts. People walk by you and don't have shit to say. -21?! We talking dog years? -Platinum rapper my bad platinum burrito wrapper. -I would say you probably nose a thing or two. -I told you to make my bed not take selfies in front of it! -"What's Indian for 'hard paper round""?" -100% guarantee you write shitty code filled with defects -So that’s why bitches wear burkas over there got it -21? Try 41. Now can you get me those white guy tacos -47 -🐔 -Now I get why the hijab is a thing. -You look like you graduated from chromosexual porn to Spanish soap opera. -Not bad actually. -Lay off the guacamole -I’m bored -You look like you peaked in the 80s. -"Dividing your age by two doesn't make it real honey, we all know that you are at least 38-40" -21(F) going on 47(M) -You look like a backup for the Great Texas Balloon Race. -Does your boss know that you try on guest’s clothes and take pictures when you should be cleaning the rooms? -R. Kelly wouldn't even piss on you. -Was literally going to ask if you were support or telesales and then I saw the Pic of the T-Maybe hoodie. 😆 -"When someone says ""handsome woman,"" you're what they have in mind." -How are you symmetrical and STILL ugly? 🥴 -I'm surprised that y9u didn't mention the 25 cars that you own. -Hispanic Gypsy Rose -I would indeed like fries with that my dear -You look like it would be awesome to not wake up next to -You look like you can cook a mean Spanish dish. -Finally took a break from only fans huh -All the aesthetics & charm of a sack of potatoes. -"If you were a geographic feature, you'd definitely be a plain." -hey there y'all -You look religious but have pronouns in your bio. -You have a future in HR. -"Even with the filters on, we know it's you, Shrek!" -Are you using a fish eye lense? -"They say only white women age like milk. But b****, for you, we'll make an exception. Dont ever tell a n y o n e, youre 21." -Mid -What happens when you hit Randomize in Fallout 4. -comment -Both of you look like you could be the parent of the other -You would look better if you switched hairstyles with each other. -Hola assholla -Do you share outfits with eachother often? -"How is it possible to look like you both settled? - -¿Cómo es posible que parezca que ambos están asentados?" -"No habla dumbass. - -You look like you throw bananas at black people." -So how was your son’s drag show debut? -We will roast you in English like God intended us to -From Spain? I'm surprised you managed to gather enough work ethic to even take and post this photo. -"This was clearly her idea, and he's only going along with it because he hopes she'll touch his dick again this year." -Are you two from the Isle of Lesbos -"Typical immigrants, come over and expect us to speak in their language." -Ned y Maude Flanders de España. -"Sure gran, let's take you to bed." -Incest is alive and well in spain! Mommy's boy. -Spain? Isn’t that a city in Mexico? -Billy Bob Thornton looking ass. -What a handsome gay couple -I didn’t know a brother could marry his sister in Spain. Congratulations on your soon to be inbred children!! -Hard to tell who has the los grande titties. -Por que to esposa tiene 100 anos -Que lastima- white texan -Ai caramba -Is that Gilbert Gottfried? -These people look like the couple that hosts a podcast about the history of knitting patterns. -Rental application: denied -Discount Carol Burnett with discount Luke Wilson meet up for drama classes at the local theater. -Why does the wife have a beard? -This is the last thing you will see when the couple at the end of the bar buys you a drink. -y’all look like the Walmart version of Jeffrey Epstein and his wife!! -I’m not going to roast your mother. Sorry. -Mother and Son duo ? -I’m surprised your wrists aren’t permanently limp from all of that Catalan lisping -There's definitely a chair in the corner of your bedroom -You dress like a shitty community theatre acting group -"Dude, you got your wife’s pants on…and her hips." -"That awkward couple that have been trying to “spice things up” in the bedroom for the last 5 years but have still not landed and house guests. - -#youarebeautifulnomatterwhattheysay" -"If this doesn't work, they're going to ""open"" their marriage up. - -Si esto no funciona, van a abrir su matrimonio." -Did her boyfriend take the picture? -The most boring strip club stage ever -"Para que hacerles un roast si ya existen 11 millones de chistes de gallegos. - -*Un gallego le dice a otro:* -*-Oye Manolo pásame otro shampoo.* -*- Pero si ahí en el baño hay uno.* -*- Si hombre, pero este es para cabello seco y yo ya me lo he mojado.* - -***-------*** - -*Al cruzar por delante de una vidriera, un gallego se ve reflejado en el cristal, lo que provoca que se pase todo el día pensando: ""¿De dónde conozco yo a ese tío que estaba en la vidriera? ¿Dónde lo he visto?""* -*Por la noche, ya acostado sigue dándole vueltas en la cabeza y al fin cae en cuenta:* -*""¡Coño, ya lo sé! ¡Es él que se corta el pelo delante de mí en la peluquería!""* - -***-------*** - -*En su viaje a Nueva York, Manolo compró un televisor para llevársela a su familia.* -*-""¿Es qué no hay televisores en su país?"", preguntó alguien.* -*-""Claro que los hay, pero los programas de aquí me gustan mucho más"".* - -***-------*** - -*Un gallego llega a una casa de citas y pregunta:* -*- Ey, Hombre!, ¿Cuanto cuesta una prostituta?* -*- Bueno, depende del tiempo.* -*- Pues... supongamos que llueve...*" -Billy Bob Thornton and his auntie -"Thank you, and your ancestors for bringing all your filth and disease to the Americas to my ancestors. - -Gracias a ustedes y a sus antepasados por traer toda su suciedad y enfermedad a las Américas an mis antepasados. - -English & Spanish for ya. 😉" -This looks like the Spains version of “Get Out”. -Donde esta mi abuela (yo no ablas Español 😔) -quién secuestró a quién?!!! -Walmart offers salsa lessons now or do they just provide theater lighting to make their clothes look better? -I'm certain you and your mother in law are going to need a siesta after reading all these comments. -Buena opción para asarse en español. de esa manera menos gente podrá disfrutarlo. Qué egoísta de tu parte. -“Nathan para tú” on the left. -Mamabicho. -Is that from Nathan Fielder's new show? He looks a bit different in a floral shirt. -Your couple is an inspiration for all Redditors. Because if you two have managed to find yourself a partner it means everyone can. -La mirada que le dan al chavo al que le han comprado bebidas por 1 hora antes de sugerirle que los acompañe al cuarto -Prueba cultural y genética de que los moros fueron mejores para España. -Os invito a unas birras en Almería. Ni puto caso a todos estos. -Dios santo. Enhoramala -You look like an amazing couple with lots of friends who love you! -"In Spanish, too" -I am absolutely certain she has more bush than a garden -Pendejos -Two alternate-universe Billy Bob Thorntons meet -"Necessito un raton para mi computadora. Tu esposa es perfecta para es. - -And, I’m guessing that’s a phone in your pocket because it’s definitely not a hard on, unless you’re as gay as you look. - -All jokes aside, you guys look great together and forgive my horrible Spanish." -¿Por qué te ves tan cansado? ¿Deberías tomar una siesta? -"Your jeans look tattooed on, yet I still can't see a 🐓 print" -Can’t fool us Billy Bob Thornton -Infollable -Dude looks like the old version of Luke Wilson in home fries -"Its okay some countries dont win, you guys have rafael nadal he really good :) he playing with new guy doubles tournament i forget his name right now alvarez or something like that, he good too :) - -Have good time rooting for your team(s) - -Bye, okay you guys give me anxiety sometimes i dont talk much thanks :) peace ✌️(:" -What’s it like to date your mom ? -"Nice, you brought your mother." -"Tu madre necesita dejar de identificarse como una cortina. -(Your mother needs to stop identifying herself as a curtain.)" -Just a man and his son -Your social security numbers are probably Roman numerals -It is considered weak to let others insult your mother. -"Fuck in Spanish! You can do what the other Spaniards do when I’m giving them shit, I’ll do it in English but just a bit slower and louder! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿" -Nice try Nathan Fielder. -"Which one is the top, which one is bottom?" -The new Narcos Fargo crossover looks a bit shit -It's nice to see that Stewart and his mom got the mental help they needed. MAD TV -Dude still has him mom chaparon. -This isn’t a roast but i thought the one of the left was Nathan Fielder dressed as a woman 😅 -What cute paella eating lesbian couple=} -"Jesus, why these bad comments? I like both of them. Cute couple." -"Holy mother of midlife crises, Batman! It looks like someone just stepped out of the world's most uninspired Gap commercial. You two look like you wandered into the discount section of a department store and decided to make a fashion statement out of sheer desperation. - -Lady, your floral blouse screams, ""I’ve given up, but at least I’m giving up in something breezy!"" It's like you went to a garden party, got drunk, and woke up wearing the tablecloth. And sir, with that disheveled salt-and-pepper look, it’s clear you’ve been battling the inevitable march of time with nothing but denial and maybe a few bad decisions involving hair dye. That beard is so uneven, it looks like it’s been trimmed by someone with a vendetta against symmetry. - -You two together look like a perfect advertisement for mediocrity. The kind of couple that decides their wildest adventure is a weekend trip to the local farmer’s market. You’re the reason the term “Dad Bod” and “Mom Jeans” were invented. If monotony was a sport, you'd both be Olympic gold medalists. - -And what’s with the lighting? Did you break into a 1980s disco after hours? Those colored lights aren’t doing you any favors, making you look like you’re about to announce the results of a mediocre karaoke competition. - -Let’s not forget the sign. “R/roastme” written in what appears to be your best attempt at not trying too hard. The paper looks more defeated than your fashion choices. If you were aiming for an amateur hour vibe, congrats, you nailed it. It’s like you decided to roast yourselves before anyone else had the chance." -"You look like 20 year olds dressed up as 70 year olds. - -Edit: typo" -antes y después de la cirugía de transición -#I THOUGHT GILBERT GODFREY HAD PASSED?!?! -Spain? So did Dali and Picasso both take a shit on that canvas you call a photograph? If you were American you'd be a Pollack. -It’s Chupa and La Cabra!! -You look like you belong on a wax museum. -It kind of feels like somebody pranked them by telling them to hold this piece of paper and smile. -Donde esta la biblioteca -Yall lookin for a third? Lol -I smell arthritis cream through the phone -When the most interesting man in the world meets the dullest woman alive… -Fallout4  shaun irl -Eth etthhh etthhh ethhh ethhh eth ethhh -I am pretty sure she is his hostage. Or he is her husband and sibling. -Dónde está el juego de lotería? -First time I've seen a lesbian with a beard -Estás cogiendo tú mamá? No mames payaso -"You know deep down that the ridiculous part is that you are from Spain. - -The S is silent" -La pareja religiosa que a puerta cerrada se orinan en la boca. -Pedro Filho and his grandmother -Lo ultimo que vez antes que los rufies hagan su efecto. -Mother and son? -"No... oh ..sorry ,en Español .. No" -This is the fundraising pic taken by non profits that focuses on “dressing up” homeless folks. -It's nice to see two gay men proud to post their photos here. -Did you take time off from harassing tourists to do this? Pretty sneaky way to find another Man to join you two. -la suegra machista que te cuestiona hasta cuanto mides y trata a su hijo como si tuviera 5 años y su esposo gay de closet que la engaña con 2 twinks ( y tambien va al gimnasio pero como tiene 60 años toma ensure a diario porque sino se muere de un infarto o algo) -"If you’re drinking a glass of water.. - -Can she talk?" -Did u swap outfits for this photo? -Soy uno puta madre narco traficante -How do you say “She pegs him” in Spanish? -The dude looks like Epstein -That rare couple where neither could do any better OR worse. -Que viejos son! -"You have 9 wishes para tu and tu familia, let us know if you need more we like to ayuda(help) thanks :) - -Bye and peace :) xièxie for time :) - -Bye 👋 :)" -Did you get your jeans from your wife’s side of the closet? -Now I know who the gay twin is.  -"Y'all look vaguely like the British couple from the Showtime Series ""Episodes"" but aged about 15\~20yrs. - -Also I don't speak Spanish, so too bad... best get google translate ready." -El hombre es un pandejo -You guys sleep in separate beds like a 50’s family sitcom -"The start of a new band, the Notorious DIV...ORCE. #uncouplesgoals - -How is it that your marriage makes divorce look like a reputable goal?" -"Te puta madre - -I think that’s how it’s said" -He definitely beats her in private when she doesn’t season his dinner -Dos hombres feos -yo quiero taco bell -You look so American I wouldn’t even vosotros you. You are clearly ustedes or “you guys”. -Why are you banging Gilbert Gottfried in a wig? -She looks old enough to know what Franco tasted like. You look just young enough that you're probably wishing you knew too. -"She looks like shes your mom! - -Ella se parece a su madre!" -"I would comment in his native language, but I don’t speak Landscaper." -Just looks like some lady meeting Spanish Dr. Oz -You two start buying the young couple drinks way early into the cruise. -"Como se dice ""Scarecrows"" in Espanol?" -el diablo no usa pantalones en mi casa y no sé por que -el queso está viejo y mohoso ¿dónde está el baño? -Ok billy bob Thornton.. that's 1 hell of a downgrade from Angelina Jolie.. -That blouse says yo quero taco bell -Doras parents are bossy assholes also. -So this is what the dollar store version of Tig Notaro and Marc Maron would look like. -no hablo paella cabron -You both look like different versions of Mr Rogers... -"Que? No hay barberos y estilista en España? - -What? Are there no barbers and stylists in Spain? - -Que cosa! -What a shame." -Tu eres tas muy pendejos! -"Spain supported Hitler. - -That's enough I think." -Jaja parecen una pareja de lesbianas -guy on the right looks like a discount jamie lannister and the incest is still prevalent as ever with you being his sister and wife. -Your mom looks nice. -"Holy shit, Nathan Fielder and Bill Hader are posting on r/RoastMe?!?" -Cabeza de caca. -You two are a beautiful gay couple. Que ostia tío -Your mom looks nice 😉 -Tu’ madre. -Te gusta incesta? -Oh look a Puta and a Madre -No roast needed here. Nothing wrong with 2 men being a couple. -Youz lookz likez youz votes toz havez migrantz invadez yourz countyoz. -Tu cara parece un pie -"Necesito practicar me espanol entonces.... Yo no se como abuelo se como use la computadora porque el es un puta viejo. - -Lo siento! Pero tu preguntas." -I only do English bitches -Pince gorditos. Aqui mirran que dos putos stupidos -Porqué intercambiaron sus pantalones? -"Ah yes, the most missionary couple in the swingers club" -"Don't fall for this people! Can't you see that it is staged?! - -(I am so sorry for the pun, but I don't know how to say ""predators"" in SPanish)" -"Tu esthpotha aparethe tu tia. -(Your wife looks like your aunt, -With the Spanish f’ing annoying “th”instead of “s”)." -"Donde esta la bibliotecha? - -(Sorry, it's pretty much all I can remember from my GCSEs!)" -Do you always go to the same barber ? -So how are your parents related? -You look like Billy Bob Thornton during rehab. -Brother and Sister. -No -"Ambos lucen muertos y recalentados en el microondas. - -(You both look dead and re-heated in the microwave)" -un hombre y la abuela -Dos Mierdes Gigantes -Gilbert gotfrieds long lost brother and sister -Dude wearing his sports bra for dinner with his mom.. -I honestly can't tell who is transitioning here. Is it both of you? -Vocês têm cara de que uma certa padeira de um certo sítio vos fodia a tromba sem hesitar -You look like a 10 year professor who teaches everything but the curriculum. -Wish.com Billy Bob Thornton with Wish.com Theresa May. -I see old people! -What donkey show did you buy her at? -por favor..that's the most spanish i know -No -I don't see your right hand. And she's smiling. Oops -When you order a Sam Neill and Laure Dern from some bootleg Spanish site -"When your sibling gets a sex change, and you want to keep IT in the family." -Deja que salgan un poco a respirar esos huevos -Estoy tan feliz de que dos hombres puedan expresar públicamente su amor mutuo. -This is gonna be one fucked up porno -"Ella Parece que es de un pueblo de blancos donde no se permiten los negros -____________________________________________________ - -She looks like she’s from a white town where black people aren’t allowed" -You're both very handsome -Fuck tu -No -"My Spanish is incredibly rusty: - -No me gusta." -Parecen que ustedes hacen sexo sin placer y solo para obtener niños. -"Hm two retired people giving a conference to enroll vulnerable people in a cult, there is nothing to roast here." -"Allegedly, you don't like thumbing her bunghole as much as she does." -You guys look like the only legit incest porn actors on Pornhub. -Las dos tenéis pinta de tener el coño más seco que el desierto de tabernas -Definitely Harold and Maude 45 years later. -It's the European Mexicans. -"Os veis como si le hubieseis robado la cara a alguien, la hubieseis metido en lejía y os la hubieseis puesto" -Os parecéis a esa pareja de ancianos que siempre asiste a reuniones familiares aunque a nadie le gusten. -No lighty no likey -El Glory hole campeon -Te pareces a la pareja que aterroriza al camarero después del servicio religioso. -No -Which 1.? -No. -"Como se dice ""pijos"" pero sin dinero" -" -El incesto está vivo y coleando en España" -Gibraltar is ours. Get fucked -You look like that couple who goes on holiday/vacation looking for a young man to dominate your wife -te pareces al Bob Odenkirk versión Chedraui jsjdjajs -Por fin se han descubierto los modelos que inspiraron el Guernica de Picasso. -"You resemble people in the anti-tourist mob in Madrid that went around screaming at tourists to go home as you threw water on them. -Go fuck yourselves." -No bueno -Who sits in the chair in the corner? Or you take turns? -How do you say ‘Yuck!’ In Spanish? -Harrison Ford is looking bad. -Press 2 for Spanish -r/RoathtMe -"Tu madre es un burro - -I know because genetics" -"You look like leaving Deadpool 3 after just 25 minutes, because of blasphemy against the lord." -Your mother seems really sweet. -Why is that guy holding the sign for his Mom? -I dont speak Mexican. -It's andy dick and juan mulaney -"Hoy es lunes, quiere decir que la última vez que se bañaron fue... en junio." -¿Pero por qué? Ustedes parecen tener otros problemas profundamente arraigados. -Spicks go home! -"She looks like the exact reason some cultures call their wives ""esposas""" -You guys probably call yourselves Latinos. -Did you use the head swap app? If not you should -"El hombre parece un pescadero valenciano y la mujer su pesca. Si a la mujer le quedaran un poco más de dientes, habría acabado embutida en la pared de una tienda de aparejos de pesca. - - - -The man looks like a Valencian fishmonger and the woman looks like his catch. If the woman had any more teeth left, she would have ended up stuffed into the wall of a fishing tackle store." -We see who got the feminine hips in the relationship -No me gusta -Billy Bob Thornton from Temu -You and your mom need to get off the internet. -You’re either the sweet older married couple that everyone wants to be #relationshipgoals OR you’re miserably married and everybody tells you to your face that you need to get a divorce -Jordan Schlansky disowned brother (disowned for not being Italian). -He's out of your league. Not respectfully. -Get off of Reddit and get in the back and start washing dishes. -Husband looks super thrilled to be alive. Maybe stop dressing like a little kid and your wife might polish you up -Estáis intentando parecer enrollados con vuestros nietos pero no os está saliendo bien -Hola cuno! -Se parecen gringos 😂 -Parecen gemelos siemes que han sido separados -colonizadores -Tá foda que eu vou comentar em espanhol -Ellen degeneras double mint twins. The Spanish version of course -Nathan fielder is that you? -Feo lol -You look like you are taking a break from acting in a laxative commercial. -When did you guys gay marry? -No mames -Paella gaspacho sombrero amigo? -I'm glad that Gilbert Gottfried finally found true love. -I'll roast you but I draw the line at lagging off someone's mother. -r/thisisntfacebook -"Don't know a ton of Spanish but you guys reminded me of a quote I read while using a shit-filled, rank porta-potty that was in the hot, Florida sun: ""tu madre es puta""" -Jefrido Epstón and Gisela Maxiloca -I legitimately thought Billy Bob Thornton and his mom were asking to be roasted. -"Ohhh, YOU TWO are why el ascensor estaba picante. 😂" -Mejor vete a comer tapas y a dormir la siesta abuelo -Que -Will from Will and Grace married Jack after she transitioned to Jackie -Cómo son 5 años de Duolingo: -"My name is Nathan Fielder, and I graduated from one of canada’s top business schools with really good grades. Now I’m helping small business owners make it in this competitive world. -The Plan: we’re going undercover as Jose’s wife to find out what’s really the deal with his failing paella buisness." -" -I bet this is your mom and you still live in her basement. Or rather, you never moved out. And probably never will." -Y’all look like hermana y hermano. -Just Nathan Fielder trying to trick us all into thinking he’s someone Spaniard wife. -Son españoles de verdad - de la decimoquinta generación de casarse entre primos. Llevan pantalones largos para taparse las colas tipo rata. -Stop eating octopus 🦑 -I see you’re on a dance floor. Saddest rave ever. -I only speak English and Slovak. So here you go: blázniví blázni!😈 -Rode to work together on a bicycle built for two -"I can't wait for the new NatGeo series ""Kidnapped and released because no one wants me.""" -The left one looks even more like a man because the one on the right has absolutely no bulge. -Trans Nathan Fielder -"Sorry, no can do. I think you’re both adorable." -"Just a suggestion, try to get different haircuts next time so that we can tell you apart" -Give us back our gold -Ustedes no están engañando a nadie. Esta foto de Madame Tussaud’s Spain -"Con esa cara y ropa de mileuristas, no hacia falta que dijeran de donde son." -No bueno -"NYC hates tourists more then you, dont come here." -I cant tell if thats your mom or wife. Either way she looks like gilbert gottfried. -You both look like you're ready to colonise 🤷🏽‍♂️ -"Hello Colonizers! - - -* I'm Filipino." -You look like you are trying to be swingers but keep getting turned down. -Too late to swing.. -No tengo nada. Ustedes parecen a angels 😇 -"Do you like torturing bulls or horses more? - -Or are you too busy being racist this time of year?" -El yuck. -It’s Gilbert Gottfried ! -Clearly you did a 3some with Don Johnson and Billy Bob Thornton. And this is your Benjamin Button son. -Doing a roast post with your mom is daring -" Hermanos casados, ¿su apellido es Habsburgo (familia real que se endogamia a lo largo de los años)? Cientos de años de endogamia y de mantenerse fuerte, ¡vamos a España!Hermanos casados, ¿su apellido es Habsburgo (familia real que se endogamia a lo largo de los años)? Cientos de años de endogamia y de mantenerse fuerte, ¡vamos a España! - -Married siblings, is your last name Habsburg (royal family that inbred throughout the years)? 100s of years of inbreeding and staying strong, go Spain!" -"What's the Spanish for vaginal dryness? Oh, there she is" -Parecen hermanos. Pero. O importa ya que se ven felices. -Which one is the wife? -"mexicaan spanish sounds better, wtf is BARTHELONA" -Typical althletico Madrid fans -"Donde esta Mr. and Mrs. Chingadera con queso, por favor?" -Billy Bob thorton and Gilbert Gottfried are a couple? -Handsom gay couple -Did Mom take you for ice cream after this photo was taken? -Y'all look as happy as Catalonia. -The swinger couple that no one else wants -comment -"No matter how many degrees you get, your parents will still forget your birthday 😒" -"Holy shit, it’s every single girl on the Bumble app." -"What is there to roast that isn't there in every single other 20 yr old female college student, yall have the exact same face, hairstyle, same cat I've seen a hundred times, you even have to be different and get a septum piercing like everyone else" -Let me guess LGBTQ community defense team? -20?? Gen Z is really aging like spoiled milk -You should sue your parents for genetic negligence -You’re the oldest looking 20 year old I’ve ever seen -I was going to say you look like a female Richard Ramirez but you actually just look like Richard Ramirez. -"Stop using “pre-law” like it’s some kind of badge of honor, you haven’t been in high school for like 18 years." -Why does your nose have a Bluetooth headset? -"If you are ""pre-law"", I am ""pre-rich""" -You look like you're only eligible to take the low-bar exam. -You look like a young non-binary Slash. -"Honest question - are you trans? No judgment intended, i just really can’t tell. - -Where are the other 8 cats?" -Pretty sure “pre-law” isn’t anything a reputable university offers. You might wanna give DeVry a call back. -Your nose rings make it look like you have a consistent booger... -Even your cat looks depressed having to be with you -Guys refer to you as “That girl”. Except they also add “that gave me herpes”. -You didn't have enough zits on your face so you added piercings? -"Well, if you can lie this hard about your age you should be an excellent lawyer" -Graduating from pre law is the same as saying “I’m not in law school”. -"Congrats, soon you can hate yourself with a drink in your hand." -Holy shit even your cat looks tired of your shit -"Good luck on your transition, male to female right?" -Deborah Minger -You look like an avocado with hair attached -"Don't worry, we're all going to hate you too once you decide on a legal speciality." -I see public defender in the hood for $65 an hour with a $45 write-off -Wow. Can’t even commit to hating yourself? It’s honestly a miracle you finished law school. Oh wait… -Poor cat is trying to figure out why she looks exactly like the litter box in the other corner. -Unfortunately all of your hires will be strictly on DEI grounds and not based on actual merit. -How long have you been on HRT? -Pre-law -"IDK, you're kinda making femboy work for you!" -"What POS university gives a BS in Pre-Law? There is no degree in pre law. Or is this something new for scam universities to have you take loans out for? The real roast is how much in debt you are for a BS degree. And yes, I mean bull sh*t. How's it coming on the LSAT?" -"Don't worry dear, your skin will clear up some day and you won't need to distract people with those ridiculous piercings anymore." -Never saw a lawyer with all that scrap metal hanging off their face. -"Judge, jury and boner extinguisher…" -Lets biden sniff her hair -Even the cat looks disappointed at you -"You ugly, sue me" -Your LSAT score and credit score are gonna be the same number. -"It’s perfectly normal to hate yourself a little, we all hate you a little." -I didn't know cats could feel embarrassed. -"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I UNDERSTAND YOUR VIEW ON YOURSELF IS CROOKED. BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STRAIGHTEN YOUR NOSE RING." -Wtf is a pre-law degree -Pre-Law flex is the equivalent for participating in the LSAT. -You look like an Algerian Olympic boxer -Did you keep your penis? -Pre-law? Congratulations that’s like moving up from chopping lettuce to making fries. -I have never seen a cat look that sad outside a shelter -You have the whole river to the sea face going on. Unfortunately Moses couldn't part that nose. -Why only a little 🤣? -"Give it time, you’ll be on that slow suicidal trajectory most law grads seem to be on. Illegal prescriptions from your doctor “friend” and a bottle of cheap whiskey because you deserve the worst." -Gay; but that cat is the only Pussy she can get ! -Blowing a cop to get out of a speeding ticket isn't pre-lae -"Your cats expression reads, ""I'm done putting up with this shit""" -"There's only one lawyer joke, and she's it." -Why the long face? -You've been at the gloryhole too long. -"All A's, including her breast size" -No wonder so many Arab men become jihadists. The idea of 72 virgins vs. the reality of that muff? -A wannabe terrorist with a septum ring. -Mount Pimple More -pizza face . -I bet that cat hasn’t been the only pussy on that face today. -"You may hate yourself a little, but I’m sure there are people who hate you a lot!" -You look like you have a free Only Fans that’s full of solo “natural beauty” content consisting of pictures of your hairy armpits and bush fro -20F/M not sure -When did 20 become the new 40? This woman looks like my aunt! -Bruh got fish eyes crappy hand writing and writes backwards -Are you doing your law degree at Trump university? -"If you become a lawyer, you better not practice anything remotely related to LGBTQ issues, because with that face, you'll singlehandedly undo all of the sympathy the community has built up over the decades." -You might be pre-law but you are not pre-lesbian. -I’ve never seen a part bigger than my bald spot -"So your sole point of self esteem is being the person your 63 year old professor bangs behind her husband's back, right?" -"Your only redeeming factor is that you own a cat, but even if you are the sole owner of that cat, you're probably still not it's primary human." -You look like you have a rainbow flag for Palestine in your bedroom. -Are you transitioning into a bell cow? -"Congrats on your transition, Tim!" -I'm not gonna roast someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to fix their nose ring before they take photos -"Gen Z is just going to stores and hairdressers and just asking for ""the ugly."" - -Might be the first generation to be uglier than their elders." -"Do those disgusting piercings cover your smell, or does someone hose you down twice a week?" -Even your cat hates you! Look like you are annoying asf -"Do you have the nose ring to draw attention away from your big nose? Also, nose rings are put in bulls or even cows to control them…in pigs it discourages rooting. Are you controlled by the nose ring or do you have a problem rooting in the yard?" -Spends half the class arguing pronouns to stand out as a unique delicate misunderstood flower -Pre-law? You mean Pre-Op? -"Ah, pre-law. Now you pre-know how to sue your parents for… well, you look like a butt baby." -She will use her law degree to help all indigenous people from all indigenous countries. -"Face piercings bring attention to your face. If you don't have a great face, maybe don't bring attention to it." -“F” -Your cat's hot. -Your features are as crooked as the lawyer you’ll never eventually become. -A ring in the nose?  When on my uncle's dairy farm I learned what that means - those were the really *nasty* cows. -You look like you have an extra chromosome -I can smell the BO through the screen -Pre-law? Or pre-transition? -Congrats on being a little closer to being the public defender assigned to represent the guy caught peeing in an alleyway -Clarification Philosophy degree on a pre-law track. I hope new material helps 🥰 -“Female” -Always with the septum nose ring. Nobody likes that shit! Nobody! -Whomever told you that crap in your nose enhances your face lied To you. -Are your pronouns ew/no? -Pre law will turn into liberal arts grad real quick -You look like the cup in the two girls one cup video -That poor guy on the stand when you show up as their public defender… -"tell me you are single, without telling me you are single. - -Nose ring is the only ring she'll ever get." -Nose ring? Crooked. Bangs? Crooked. Career choice? Crooked. -Wait you’re a female you could have fooled me -A pre-law grad just as much as Kim Kardashian. Next up a video to gain relevance. -I bet not everyone thinks you have a man’s face -Your tramp stamp says BLM -Pre-law and Pre-T I assume too? -Every leftist masc lesbian ive seen in my extremely leftist university EVER -The cat is as confused as all of us looking down at you smearing shit all over yourself -I'd probably fuck the cat first. And I hate cats. -"How do you say law school failure without saying law school failure? -Pre law grad" -"A pre law degree is anything a law school will accept. -At 20, a pre law degree is an associate’s in paralegal studies which is essentially secretary school. How much of Daddy’s money did you blow on a an associate’s in the secretarial arts? - And how do you all look the same? The same shaggy mullet that isn’t brave enough to be a mullet. The cheap septum that’s supposed to be edgy but makes you look the same as everyone else. The low angle shots that are as unflattering as possible like you’re supposed to be so cute even the worst of the angles cannot conceal your beauty… but you all look like dried out potatoes with enormous nostrils. How is your generation so obsessed with skincare and hydration and still manage to look 20 years older?" -Imagine hiring a lawyer and this showed up 😂 -You look like a person who's going to get sued for malpractice often. -The cat is traumatised at your mere presence -If farting and it traveling up your vag was a person -Congrats on the Olympic Gold Medal. The entire nation of Algeria is proud of you. -"Yeah, I want my lawyer to have a bunch of shit in her face. How classy. Why not double down with a few bondage tattoos on your face? Or go for the trifecta with earlobe gauges big enough for an elephant to use as a cock ring." -Septum piercing=vag that smells like a clam bake -“Whoa cool septum piercing” -nobody you desperately intended to attract by getting a septum piercing -Any undergraduate majoring in a non-STEM degree says they are pre-law. How about finishing your bachelors first before you drop out to become a full-time barista and go home to your cats. -"Judging from your fashion, haircut, and all-around appearance I’d say you hate yourself more than a little… - -The hottest things about these pictures is the art hanging up on the wall behind that frightening monster cosplay." -"Oh, Imane Khelif, Congrats to your boxing gold medal at the Olympics in Paris" -The look of someone who plans to sleep her way all the way up to the tippy top of the glass ceiling. -All jokes aside I just wanted to wish good luck 🙌. Good luck to those who have THAT as their defense in court. THAT is going to get their clients the death penalty despite their innocence. A real shame how far downhill lawyers have gone and you're the epitomy of it. -You need god -"That’s funny, I hate yourself a lot. Your poor cat could do better." -"Ah yes, multiple nose piercings. Definitely not a leader, just another follower. Probably uses the word “demure” a lot too" -"Glasses, alopecia, and a cat lady? How many decades have you been 20?" -Second Pic = Freddy Mercury wannabe? -That’s a decent mustache for 20 years old -Are there any standards to get into law school? Or do they just let anyone in? -20 in dog years maybe -Each picture more masculine than the next. You go girl..guy? -When regular boogers aren't distracting enough. -20 going on 38 -You look like you smell like cat piss -You look like Ann Hathaway's non-binary cousin.. and your cat wishes you'd get a real job because it's been throwing up that no-name-vegan pet brand you think it likes. -That cat just wait for you to dead to eat you -"I mean, what's to like?" -You’re the most 36 year old man looking a 20 year old female can be -When did the transition process begin -"Getting off “ Clients” before you go to a bar, isn’t pre-law" -she's been to one too many abortions clinics the dad just needs to let her have a black son -"What fucking gender are you,?" -You look like you would turn getting offended and indignant into an Olympic sport if you have a chance -Well you look like you stink of piss -Thankfully you don't have an Only Fans account. That would be a crime against humanity. -Oh my God they make so many of you. It's like they've started turning Crocs into people. Yeah they come in different colors but they're all the same. -"Who ya voting for? Oh wait, we know." -You won’t get a good enough grade on the LSAT to get into a law school and will take that nose ring and look of total depression to your local Starbucks to be a barista for the rest of your life -I've had parents disappointed in me but what's it like to have a cat that disapproves of your life choices? -trans converting from man to woman? -You should thrift a better personality. -You should hate yourself more. -"Such big, thick glasses, but when you look at the mirror you still don't see that cow ring in your nose." -Idk if you’re a man who is transitioning or a woman that received too much testosterone as a fetus -Being Mirandized doesn't make you a law grad. -Pro Bono doesn't mean you have a law degree.... -The cat only stays because it's locked in🔒🔒 -You should try hating yourself more. -At what age did you start transitioning? -I can smell the picture -If you have any hope of being hired or taken seriously as an intern or clerk I STRONGLY suggest losing the nose piercings. Your law professor uses you for dinner conversation as an example of another clueless student he has to suffer through. -Even the cat has that look of regretting that they're around you. Probably looking for a car to run them over right now. -If you used the right tool you would only have to put put one more hole in your head to not hate yourself any more -"A little hate, à little late...." -Jeez bro the suppressors ain’t working -Not smart enough for post-law? -So did you have to give back the boxing gold medal? -So law school takes in everybody now? -Can always spot a pig by the ring through its nose -Pre-law grad 🤣🤣🤣 It's like saying you're a doctor because you've seen an episode of Grey's anatomy. -"If I were on trial for murder and you walked in as my public defender, I'd just go ahead and plead guilty before they give me the chair anyway in a non-death penalty state." -"""Pre-law graduate"" is worse than anything anyone can possibly say about you. It's unkind to pile on and also are my nuggets ready?" -I'm sure every project you touch will fail and you'll blame the patriarchy -I can tell that your cat is glad when you leave the house -One look at you and I know everything about you and who you vote for. What does it feel like to be part of a hive mind? -So does the nose ring help with sniffing out truffles? -If I were you I'd hate myself alot.. You look like if Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx had a baby together.. -"Have you sought a medical opinion on why your pussy is above your head, rather than between your legs?" -You should get a horse bit for those teeth. I’m sure they’ll match your other piercings and chin zits. -If you think you hate yourself now just imagine how much more you will hate yourself when you get your first client sentenced to death for a parking ticket. -"Oh, good. Another commie kid with 4 nose rings and glasses they don't need wants to be one to uphold American law." -"Recent “pre-law” grad, soon to be substitute teacher." -This is the single cat lady JD Vance warned us about -That nose ring. Reminds me of the piggies we wanted to keep off nursing at my grandpa's farm -I don’t think attorneys usually have battery terminals in their noses -"Says, "" my truth "" constantly" -"You only hate yourself a little? What, you think you're better than us?" -You're going to be the smartest lawyer working the checkout -"Well look at the bright side, lawyers do have a high self deletion rate." -You’ll stop hating yourself the more slip and fall lawsuits you litigate. -"With that degree, you'll be great at the fryers" -You should hate yourself a lot. Another area where you come up short. -Britney Spearstein -"Well if your the future of law, then everyone is screwed if they hire you as a lawyer." -You don't have to hate yourself. Plenty of convected people waiting to hate you. -A few skin issues. Why do you hate yourself? -"Oh no, you don’t hate yourself a little, you hate yourself a lot, I mean, that’s why you’re becoming a lawyer." -Woke Inspector Gadget -"Free advice, no charge, tell all the low income, repeat offenders you will soon represent to take any plea deal the state offers." -want to come to Brazil and have some real fun? -"Lawyer? You hate yourself a little, everyone else hates you a lot." -Every defendant that gets you as a public defender would know they were fucked and should probably just confess. -Your car hates you a lot! -"Great, yet another lawyer who's going to complain about not finding suitable employment." -With those nose rings you must hate your parents too. -Jaws and Dolly really did have a kid. -Why does she look like a bull with piercings -"If you show up at court to defend a guy on a shoplifting charge, the accused would demand the death penalty." -You look like the dude from Creed -Will be come happily married once u date yo first non white washed nigga but too racist to give tha nihga a chance 😂 -"Your hormones are working really well, I can barely tell that your trans" -What's it like knowing you're gonna fail the bar and then start a only fans that fail even more? -God damn this bitch is gonna tell you all about how food is poison but then never cook once. -Um you got little something right there in your nostril. I don't think anyone noticed yet. -Even the looks like it’s contemplating its life choices being around you. -Looks like the law catches up with you -"Pre-law might as well be the tag for ""I'm not going forward with anything in life.""" -Looks like you love cats and asking for the manager when your soy boy latte leaves you for another man -You can clearly tell she's the type to think she's too good for any guy but the actual guy she goes for wouldn't be caught dead with her 💀💀🤣👌🤣🤣 or if she's lezzie then it's just foreplay nothing serious -You look like your cat holds you hostage at his whim. -"Awe, how cute. We hate you too!" -You should take some if that law school money and get rhinoplasty.. -Why would anyone want to roast you. You are a very pretty lady. You could be top 98% on OnlyTrans. -At least you will know the legal liability of particular coffee burns while working at Starbucks. -Is your fly open in the first picture? -I bet she’s never shaved or washed with soap in her life -Why the long face??? -I hope your law firm practice encourages wearing a bag on your head in a court of law. -I can see your brain through your nose -"Wait legitimately curious, how are you a pre law grad at 20??" -"Hit ya with a high-pressure hose followed by some delousing powder, and you'd do for a Tuesday night." -No doubt in my mind that there is a Subaru Outback in the driveway -Goodwill looking charli damilio -Why do you hate yourself? The good in you outweighs all that conditioning and fear. Your intelligence will be a gift to the world long after I'm gone.... Truth -I just started setting these and must say with all the ugliness in the world I will NEVER understand WHY! -Are you a bull? -"You'll hate yourself more when you end up as a paralegal working for lawyers who couldn't think their way out of a brown paper bag, but had better connections than you. - -And you'll hate yourself the whole time you bump uglies with them trying to get yourself ahead, only to flame out and work at a call center." -National American University. -We gotta bring back r/horsefacehotties -You should hate yourself a lot more -Look way older than your age -Keep going down the law route and everyone will hate you. -O shit! A cat lady whose not even 21!! Look out fellas!! -"Hmph, I only thought porn stars had that many zits on their chin." -"You really put the ""Tyler"" in Liv Tyler" -why do you hate yourself? a little bit of context would help thank you 🤓 -You're just... a minor threat -Why do y'all make me do this to you?; ok 📞📞📞📞 that is me phoning it in. -Did you get a law degree to feel valid when you go on your keyboard warrior tirades about equality and fairness? -Head-popper from The Boys -Courtney cox-sucker -It’s ok. We all hate you a little too. -Your childhood was a little too good -You're about 2 months away from starting an OF and 6 months away from it failing miserably -Smell your fingers -Balloon knot inspector approved -Cum shot glasses. They gonna LOVE you in law school -Sabrina the teenage carpenter -You look like you've never spoken to a man in a platonic way ever before -"AOC is your role model, your father’s “corporation” will fund your Law Degree from some shitty tier 3 school." -She has a free OF with no subscribers -Pretty -"Don’t worry, everybody else hates you plenty" -"I know I’m not supposed to do this, but I love your layers!" -You want to pre-law deez? -"Pre-law? Good you studied a major with work opportunities. There are a lot of real lawyers that need photocopies, coffee, suits picked up from the cleaners, BJs..." -"Not like the other girls. - -Exactly like the other girls" -Didn't we see you on the no fly list? -I thought that was a booger in your huge ass nostril but it’s just an ugly piercing -"Your hairline seems to hate you a little, too." -I would not date you so hard! -Gotta lose the septum pierce. -"Only a little?! Damn girl, at least you got high self esteem." -Never post your morning picture -Unicorn with extra fangs -"Saw the Pic, you're just fine. Oh, and your human is okay too." -This is just anecdotal but I think most people hate themselves at 20. -Why do Gen Z and Gen Alpha age like milk wtf -Sometimes Reddit pisses me off… this is one of these times! Don’t listen to us and get your shit done! YOU’VE GOT THIS! -"I don’t know you, but I hate you too" -That cat looks scared of you -I really hate it when attractive people ask to be roasted. I'm so glad you aren't one of those. -Female milhouse -Just a little? -I wonder what lawfirm will accept tinkerbell nose -"You look like you hate men, but you need one to change a tire or a toilet because you obviously can't do it yourself. - - -The cat's adorable. " -You look like you’re going to fit right in as some partner’s new side piece. -"Im guessing she's Greek, a lawyer from the island of Lesbo" -"I'll bet you have at least five vibrators, and four of them have more miles on them than an over-the-road truck driver." -I think I litterly just talked to you on the new “omegal” is your birthday the 21st -At least ur smart -You look like a sniper’s dream with that orca whale forehead💀 -Good thing you got that pre law under the belt. Hippies need all the pre law help they can get. -Im so jealous! You are classically beautiful. Do something good with your law degree. -Bot post -It doesn’t matter if you have 100 or 1000 degrees your father will never come back -Glad to see you are already on your way to being weird cat lady …… with one cat already ……. -You’ll have a little boys haircut from great clips by next year. -I hate myself alot -Advertising for only fans -Gotta boog hangin -Get rid of that nose ring it’s a horrible sign and not attractive whatsoever other then then that you’re beautiful -At least you won’t have to hire a lawyer to sue your hairdresser. -If the 80’s had a bad dragon mascot for their product. -The only thing cute here is that cat -Don’t hate yourself your beautiful -Who’s your daddy Triple H? With a nose like that I’m not sure whether to bet on Triple H or Rocksteady -Always some girl with a pussy pic -That cat looks like it’s seen some shit. -You didn’t have to include the hate myself a little part. We already could tel -Cool to see a picture of your only friend. -I hate you too if that's any consolation. -Before rehab. After rehab. -Your not 20 -10 -You can go to law school with literally any bachelor’s degree/major. “Pre-law” doesn’t mean anything. -Dad? -"You are allegedly '20', but you look 36. When you are 36, you will look 51+. - And the early 90's wants their out of style 'style' back. Nice nose ring, very original and unlike EVERY other female out there. 🤦‍♂️" -Linda Belcher? -Pre law? Just say you at University or undergrad. Anything can be pre law or pre med… come back when you in law school please -"Robin Sparkles has really fallen on hard times... - -""Let's go to the mall............ - -. TODAY!!!!"" - -https://youtu.be/rtMR524m0BM?feature=shared" -I think I just fell in love 😍 -comment -Even your dildo wants to just be friends. -Breaking Sad -Future discoverer of the element “they/themium” -You should try majoring in cosmetic surgery -You look like Stan from South Park if he grew up to be a lesbian -So what was your name before you transitioned female? You look like a Jeff. -You look you could only afford the cheapest surgery after a lab accident -Are you a gay man or a gay woman? -"You look like you give really unenthusiastic blow jobs. - -BTW, there's a 'C' missing from the name tag on your lab coat." -Is 18F the chemical symbol for having a cock and balls? -"Unfortunately, your looks are the rate limiting step to getting a reaction." -Somehow “better living through chemistry” does not apply to you -Your hobby is spitting in other peoples’ coffee. -If ladies and gentlemen was a person -Kinda of feminine for a dude. -What a terrible day to have eyes. -You look like you were born with your transition already 3/4 complete. -"If you were a element on the periodic table, you’d definitely boron." -You look like a dude that looks like a chick that looks like a dude. -FEMALE?!?! -"UNT stands for: Unloved, Nobody, Trans" -Let me guess...you go by Pat. -In 10 years you'll be banned from Wikipedia editing -"Shut up, Meg!" -Dude looks like a lady …or lady looks like a dude -Either you have a wad of cash or drugs in the pocket of those shorts or you are packing quite the 7” clitoris young lady. -Corey Feldwoman -Female is cap. That's a big bulge in the last Pic. -"You wont ever have chemistry with anyone, no matter how hard you study. - -Also stop mogging me" -You fisted the turkey at Thanksgiving as a way to come out to your parents...it did not go well -"Listen, Edward E. Nigma, we’re tired of your riddles. - -That doesn’t mean you can post a picture of your cock." -The order of the pictures makes me think Temu Hermoine Granger in potions is transitioning into Wish Severus Snape. -More like a chemistry minor -Look like Walter White mid transition -Chemistry? Like hormone therapy? -"I would roast you, but having to be in Denton all the time at that shitty school is punishment enough." -You look like a titration of Jame Gumb from Silence of the Lambs -Not sure if that's a moustache or bad shadow. I'm leaning towards the former -Gender: undefined -"Reminds me of cottage cheese. In terms of color, texture, and smell." -Couldn’t tell if you were a guy.. or girl? Or Asian? -If gender neutral were a pic. -Can you plz confirm your pronouns so roasting will be easy. -"Guys don't make passes at girls who wear - -Your face" -You look like you wear underwear with dick holes in them -"If the word ""femboy"" was a person." -The only major you need is a makeover. -You have chemistry with no one -"What a botched transition. Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should" -You're like fluorine gas because people don't have any kind of reaction to you. -NSFW warning on that last pic please -"Why did you take a picture of your crotch in one image? - -Oh … I get it. Your username is u/fungalinfection77 and the crotch picture identifies ‘ground zero’ for all 77 fungal infections you’re carrying." -Nerd. -You look like a member of The Breakfast Schlub -You’re the kind of weird that gets scared to make a phone call -"You think you’re the Walter White of Hickory Street, but really you’re the DJ of a house show—overhyping yourself while everyone in your presence just wants to leave for Whataburger." -So what job will you get in 14 years when you finally achieve your PhD? -Not sure I'm confident enough to roast someone who's probably smarter than me and definitely has a bigger dick. -Username says it all. -"More like no chemistry, AMIRIGHT" -Can’t tell if you are pre or post transition -"Dude, you look like a girl." -Sam Winchester? -"I noticed your shirt said UNT, is there a C missing?" -You look like Jeffrey Dahmer of he grew a mustache -Temu Richard Gere in drag... -You recently decided to be F right? -I see Freddy from iCarly got a sex change. -"The ""F"" part of your post looks like it's about as theoretical as your future employment prospects." -You’re a Chemistry Major but have no idea what gender God gave to you so you just winged it and hoped for the best -"That ""F"" is doing a lot of heavy lifting" -Male to female? -I swear I can't tell if this is a guy or a girl -18M** -Bro smh... -You don't need to be a chemist to figure out how to make your dick shrink...mine shrunk looking at your pics -"Such an average lady boy. -I miss real men." -You look more like a man than I do -Identify as a female? -"Oh shit, I didn't expect to see Nile Red on here!" -Who the fuck asks to be roasted reports a comment . -No need for a spectrometer…..we see that bulge mister. -Your adams apple has more of a personality than you do. -If Sheldon was a female this is what I would expect. -Bro that last picture is CRAE CRAE. -how can you look like a middle aged woman and a 13 year old boy at the same time -Come to India what you want you will get at affordable rate -Pretty sure I saw you debating Charlie Kirk before -When you buy a Corey Feldman from temu -18F!? Doubt it. It’s going to take some more chemical changes to make that description believable. -What's that trans lesbian dating app called? -I’m gonna need a minute -Congrats on the transition! Gotta work on that tuck tho. -"I can’t tell if you’re M to F or F to M. Either way, you look 45+. Your parents genes weren’t kind to you. No wonder you’re confused." -You look like you chose your gender from the periodic table -"Handsome Squidward wants his face back. - -Seriously though, how are you a chemistry major, yet can't find chemistry with one single person? Oh yeah, that's right. Meth. You're just cooking meth..." -If i need to describe people what non binary is ill just show them this -Looks like someone didn’t get into UT Austin or UTD… or UTA….or UTSA -Your fake doctor’s frock is missing a GIANT C. -"When did you transition to F? (psst, we can see your bulge in the last pic!)" -I think it’s too early to pick a gender. -I’m confused are you F to M or M to F -Why ain't nobody tell me someone can look like a Dude and A Women chose a side -The 7th pic. You look like every young Asian man trying to flex. -F? -Bro you’re not fooling *anyone* -When did Nile red decide to have a sex change? -Crotch photo only purpose serves to show us hidden erection -The F in description is what the boys would say if one of them accidently hit on you. -21 St century Pat. -Chemistry major eh? Maybe you can find the X chromosome you appear to be missing to be female. -I didn’t know NielRed was trans -Answer one question for me: is the CEO of your lab safe or do you have some beef related to your recent transition? -Your snatch probably smells like S -18mtf -"No way, you're not Dustin from Stranger Things?" -Don't listen to them. You are lovely. You could be Top 98% on OnlyTrans. -Are you a boy or a girl? -You need to hide your dick more if you want it to be convincing -Most convincing transition ever -You look like Paula Poundstone's daughter. -I honestly can’t tell what you are… -Walking a fine line with that school logo -clearly you make your own hormone drugs -"The pronouns couldn’t scream any louder, ma’am." -Bro got tested -Nice cock bro. -Hey look everyone. It’s a he/she. -Your pronouns are Have Penis -You look you dress and act LBGTQ just to make friends. -You poor thing -You look like a man trapped in a man’s body -Didn’t know maxmoefoe transitioned -You look 15 and 30 at the same time give us a tutorial on that -Femboy Walter white. -If you threw everyone from the breakfast club into a blender it would look like you. -C.lassic U.niversity of N.orth T.exas -I can already tell you’re the freshman that likes to pretend you’re the TA. Which professor do you not leave alone? -Username checks out. -"Stick to the flannels, really let’s em know your a dyke not a dude" -Ryan is that you? -Sir ma’am…ma’am sir -This boy is the ugliest girl I've ever seen -You look kinda like a girl but I’m afraid you might not have a vagina. -I think your Major is actually Androgyny. -With a minor in gender studies. -"Just like element 119, your gender is undiscovered." -You are a dude. End of story. -Hello my names Pat. -Boy or girl? -after stranger things -You have penis -Recon you inject estrogen in the left cheek and testosterone in the right. -Looking hella MTF rn -Did a chem major because you couldn't afford college and a transition. -Bottom 1% of onlyfans content creators. -Thats pretty cool. Man? -Boy or girl? -This guy -You're a gender challenged male -A pretty suspicious bulge I’m the denim skirt -sheldon -You look like a 36 year old Bill Hicks. -You sir...are the weakest link -Could not tell if a man or woman -U got boy genes -Is it gay or straight if someone finds you attractive -Please tell me again about how much you hate men. -SewageRed -I'm not sure if you are a female transitioning to male or a male transitioning to female -Chemistry is one of the things you will never have. -I dont see an 18F here.. i see a compound that is 99.9% Testosterone by weight. -your username is EXTREMELY relevant -They left the “C” off of your uniform in picture 2. -"More like a chemistry minor. What are you, 12? :/" -You study Chemistry because you've never had any with anyone else -MaxMoeFoe? -God tier troll by your mothers midwife -I loved you on Rage Quit. -You forgot the C on your lab coat -You misspelled your name on your lab coat. -I would like to gender you correctly but I don’t know what tf you are -Elliot Page is that you? -"The last slide says it, pack it up boys." -I love our son/daughter -You look like a dude who sells weed in high school. -Bro pulls up to the Kindergarten to touch some 5 y/o -18/F my ass. Do you tuck daily? -"The M and the F are very far away from each other on the keyboard, how did you mess that up" -Shouldve left the title as just 18. Looks like youre still figuring it out -Are you a guy or girl? -"Getting a $120,000 degree to work at a department store. Great work, bro." -"They missed the ""C"" out of your name tag on your lab coat." -"You put the last photo on there to try and convince everyone that you’re a woman, but it didn’t work" -Dude looks like a lady! -"Haha, Cory Feldman, stop playing." -Figure out your biology before you go into chemistry -Be careful young man. Your balls might slip out of those short shorts. -When did guys start wearing short shorts -You look like you dont even know your own gender💀 -"You look exactly like my male cousin -And that’s not even a joke" -"Alright America, its time to play everyone’s favorite game….. GUESS! THAT! GENDER!" -Only the time you get attention when you ask to roast you.. not willingly by people -are you transsexual or just ugly? -# #UNT -"Nile ""Female""" -Maybe you can synthesize something to make you less Manish. -"Good god,you're a woman? Coulda fooled me." -You typed 18M wrong -I'm sorry sir I have nothing to add. -You are not a female. Ur a guy. -Man women is crazy -"Does anyone wanna bet how long will ""she"" go without buying a bra?" -You look like a Stand in actress for the Breakfast Club -Stan Smith!… but where is roger? -"Your lab coat is missing the letter ""c""" -Tha fuck are you? -taking a lot of liberties with that F there huh bro? -What the fuck am I looking at -He had to violate the restraining order to go on campus to take those pictures  -Dudee -18M | Chemistry major* -18M* -You’re trying to have the nerdy charm of Velma but it ain’t working -Your lab coat name tag appears to be missing a letter ‘C’ -User name checks out. -Needs to study chemistry to make up for a lack of personal chemistry. With anyone. -Definite lack of chemistry between you and any human. -Wow. A chemistry major that still can't get a reaction. -your geiger counter readings are off the chart! quit playing with that glowing rocks at the lab and thinking it was a fidget toys! -Figures she hasn't taken one in the front so it doesn't count -I am assuming the bird on the logo is a Cardinal -"Good thing you are Majoring in Chemistry, I don’t think anyone will have any with you." -"UNT? - -The only missing thing is Carbon." -"WHOAH... DAMN,HARSH...LOL" -Saved your photo to use as a dartboard because it’s moose season. -I am so confused -18 | Chemistry major -MaxMoeFoe -"If you’re any good at chemistry, can you solve for XY?" -Molly Ringworm -Weird science -"Your face looks like argon and selenium, so I bet you earn your grades with your plutonium, sulfur, and silicon. - -All the professors love that arsenic and sulfur." -Chemistry. Something tells me there is an intervention in your future -Hmm I would say there’s nothing major about you. -I bet you still claim you like boys but have secret crushes on at least three girls -"Your lab coat badge is a c away from stating who you are, what you want and the type of person you'll end up with." -The only chemical romance you'll ever have. -You must be the failed lab experiment that escaped -Left the 'C' off your lab coat. -"I feel dirty just looking at you. - -*shower intensifies*" -The name tag on your lab coat is missing the C. -You have an exciting career of testing piss samples at labcorp ahead of you. -A minor joke is in here somewhere -"Oompa lumpa, go get a fade. -With that haircut, you’ll never get laid." -Another androgynous game protagonist -Your username is very fitting seeing as you look like 77 fungal infections in one -"I see you even did the hand gesture of dead lays around the world, posed like a board with a thumb up" -Nah you are not the one who knock -Forever experimenting by herself. -Spends all day trying to synthesize new poppers for an even more relaxed butthole. -Did you major in chemistry because you know you’d never have any in life?? -I’d sooner hydrolyze a tertiary alcohol and decay Bismuth-209 into Lead-208 than be seen sitting next to Cyclopentane Glasses in O-chem. -You have the personality of a broken condom machine in a country gas station bathroom. -whys it look like your shorts are on backwards? -"Bonds, that concept you know but can't seem to find with a face like that." -Oh boy let’s see -Gets D’s on more than just the homework -Meg? -You worked at Starbucks one day and quit cause it was too hard. Hardest thing you ever had to deal with is pixels on a phone -Had to take it as a major just so you could experience some chemistry in your life. -Having a degree in that is not going to help you find it with the women you are trying to fist -Little Mike -"The ""UNT"" makes this too easy" -"The trash is getting picked up tomorrow, be ready." -You look like a chemistry major -Now you can explain to your mum the benefits of folic acid...had she taken any. -Since when does this subreddit allow self roasting? Cause that's what this post is -The periodic symbol for you getting a date is No. -"Sir, please remove the grown caterpillars from your face." -Chemistry major more like cherobyl mutant afterbirth -Needs a C on that lab coat -"Damn, how you in a lab all day and still ugly?" -You’ll fit right in with the chemistry department. -"If you chose a biology major, you could have figured out your gender" -What’s the chemistry behind growing a dead cat on your head? -Add “C” to the stitching on your scrubs and you’ll get what your resting face looks like. -"I’d roast you, but life beat me to it" -Username checks out -Her clitoris is like Nitrogen Triiodide. Good thing nobody wants to touch it. -Im assuming the last pic is of you shooting heroin right after class... -Funny that you are a chemistry major cause your clam smells like sulfuric acid -Not even fluorine wants to bond with you. -"Do i fuk you, or do you fuk me?" -You look like a reject from the 80s movie The Breakfast Club. -"You're like CO. - -Always bonding with the wrong people and forming toxic relationships." -Even your local priest won't cum to you. -Chemistry? You missed your calling as a civil engineer. You could build a whole-ass airport on that forehead. -"What’s she got in common with Argon? - -No chemistry with anything" -Really wish I could share this in the UNT sub 😑 -Potential match seeing your profile pic: Na+ -Your lab coat is missing a C -And yet you have no chemistry with the camera....or anyone in your life. -"Iodine, Tennessine, Silver, Uranium, Yttrium." -The camera for the last picture was glad it didn't have to capture your face. -How can someone who majors in chemistry be so unlikeable? -Good thing your smart. -You look like the Temu version of the chick Lip used to bang in Shameless -This kind of chemistry won't give you a girlfriend or a vagina -"Handsome boy. You should probably hit the gym though, bro. Add a little muscle definition and youll be curling toes in college." -"This is NileRed with a female snapchat filter. Hi, I'm a big fan. You look better as a guy." -Yea cuz that's the only time you'll actually find chemistry with another human BEIIING -"If you weren't so ugly you could be kinda, sorta cute, in one of those weird ways i guess" -Turn to page 394 -Richard Gere if he were a girl! -I'm suspicious of the F in the description -"Just because the guy you liked in high school said there was no chemistry between you two doesn't mean you'll find it studying chemistry in college. If you're looking for a job that'll help you find guys, maybe learn about plastic surgery." -"Omg not ""a Christmas story"" too!!! So when's the reboot where ralphy is transgender come out???" -You look like a girl going through mid male transition cosplaying as a human -Can you use alchemy to change back? -NileReadFemale -What’s the story with the thumbs down? Or were you just sharing how you jam your thumb up a guys ass after every date? -You look like the porn I skip because I can’t tell if it’s a guy or girl -"F means female, my bro." -comment -You look like you tie up women with rope and leave them on train tracks. -You look like a villain in an old timey silent film -Salvadork Dali -His whole personality is the mustache -It's a me! Mario froma da wish. -Hope you got barbells for your circus birthday -It’s like if Taika Waititi went back 15 years and said “Sure… I’ll make shitty Borat.” -You are a Portland lesbian that is funding her gender reassignment surgery into Salvador Dali by selling Surrealist finger paintings made from menstrual blood. -You look like you squeal when something exciting happens -You look like a stinky Frenchman -"Your whole vibe screams ""desperate for a personality""" -"Your picture reminds me of Salvador Dali, by which I mean it makes me want to take a knife to my fucking eyes" -Captain hook coming straight outta some gay bar -I remember him. He made my table side guacamole at Acapulcos Restaurant in Jersey. -"It’s-a-me, douchebaggio!" -Asian Hispanic Eskimo unicyclist pizza flipper from the 40s. -30????? Hahaha. not bloody likely -Pedro Pederastcal -"Been ""turning 30"" for the past 12 years" -"You look like you go to gay bars and make them uncomfortable. - -I bet your boyfriend calls you huffy cuz he grabs your handlebar mustache and rides your face like a bike. - -You just turned 30…gay men straight. - -If you ever went to jail you’d drop liquid soap" -When your moustache is your entire personality. -Super Mario meets fredy Mercury meets the rock Johnson -"Working hard to be unique, by the most generic guy ever." -Hoohh look at those beautiful blowjob handlebars. -"Holy shit, are you Heraldo Riveras love child." -"Be honest, is your mattress on the floor?" -"You look like you belong in a circus, lifting very heavy objects" -You should deliver pizza and speak with a fake Italian accent. All you need is a chef's hat for a complete Halloween costume. -CTE Chef Boy-Ar-Dee -Pre crack Wario. -Don't skip gut day. -Looks like a cross of Charlie Chaplin and back street boys.. -Homie legit looks like he’s auditioning for a live action Pringles movie… -Freddie Mercury after the AIDS! -You look like if Tony Revolori and Charlie Chaplin had a baby. -You look like a gay Mario that the Russian mob uses as their pass around fuck toy -Hello frisco! -Do you curl that moustache everyday -Waluigi in the Mario Brothers live action show -Salvador Dali when he went broke and had to eat all his paintings just to put weight on. -Shouldn't you be tying someone on a train track somewhere? -Dali? Is that you? -Fuck you and your cool ass guitar lamp! -IRL Wario -That moustache have its own website? -"You look like someone that cause themselves the Rizzmaster, but you have no rizz." -"""A moustache can be a personality, right?""" -If Salvador Dali fucked a bucket of steroids -The long lost 3rd Wario Brother -Freddy Mercury Temu Edition -Wish.com Mario -Mario from Super Mario Bros. -you look like the lovechild of Taika Waititi and J.J. McCullough -"You’ve displayed Mochacho style, crystal lover style, AH I’m gym BRO with a Vest Bro style, tattoo style, laid back surfer bracelet style, guitarist on the down low style, SKaTEr Boiiiiiiii style, ALL in one photo. I don’t know who you are - bro - do you even know who you are?" -You look like you still go to high school parties just to pick up chicks -Shouldn’t you be off tying a blonde lady to some train tracks? -"Hey Luigi, where is Mario?" -Wes Borland wanna be -What time is the magic show? -When you order Taika Waititi from temu….. -You look like a circus owner -I saw a documentary on the Disney Channel years ago where the animators showed sketches of really terrible ideas they had for cartoon villains with stupid expressions and fucked up proportions. It’s been a long time since I saw that and I had almost forgotten about it. Thanks for the memories. -This is what Freddy Mercury would look like if he decided to become a carnival barker instead. -Nah your 30’s will roast you enough -"Dude is in his ""bad boy"" era and thinks he is waluigi" -You look like you smell like cheap incense and burnt crayons. -Shitty bartender at an upscale restaurant where you think the more time you spend making the drink the better it tastes. -"Your mustache is already doing the work for you. Happy irl cake day, you hipster fuck." -Should you really be on Reddit? I would have thought you would be busy tying a damsel to some train tracks -Taika Waititi if: he grew a stache that got him a girlfriend who subsequently cheated on him leading him to become a gym rat but give up after a couple months and drowning his sorrow in Michelob Ultra but like WAY too much if it which led to drunk buying a shitty left handed bass guitar (he's right handed) but he won't admit he can't play it so he at least had to hang it on the wall to seem like he knows. -You look like armpit flavored salt water taffy that has never heard a Led Zeppelin song. -Retired porn star -Temu Johnny Depp -Super Beaner Bro jumped that wall quick. -I don't know which era of villainous archetype you're going for with that look. -Captain Wack Sparrow -I see a bass guitar and a snowboard. How many failed hobbies before you finally admit you're not good at anything? Stick to working for Target. They'll pay for the college education you didn't think you needed. -I wanna shave half your mustache off so I can watch you have to shave the other half off. -Earnest 3rd party voter. -"You gotta make it harder than this, man. Fuck me. - -Everything about you is wrong." -Captain Hook called? -After the 17th time “experiencing” it’s pretty clear to everyone you’re gay. Save the show for your parents who keep hoping and praying for your soul -"Nahh, that's not Luigi, that's Ugluigi" -"Face has never been kissed. -Arms spaghetti. -His surname's on a list. -Mom's a yeti." -Gay captain hook -Your mustache -"Oh, I know you! You're the love child of Freddie Mercury and Captain Hook!" -Mario before he got a proper job? -I'm pretty sure you just tied a women to some train tracks -"Calm down Wario, you'll get your roasting soon." -Less symmetry than a Picasso and uglier than Dali -Gftoh bruh. -"I know most of these roasts are like ""you look like Salvador Dali's fruity brother"". But man to man, you know that doesn't look as good as a regular moustache right?" -"30 my bloody arse, with a mustash like that we know you are from the black and white era and the villain too!" -Your body says 30 but your face says “what’s my age again” -Ahhh a bass player… that is all… -30? Maybe 8 years ago -It's like Taika Waititi tried to impersonate Dali but found his real mom. -Mario 5.0 -Shouldn’t you be tying a struggling damsel to a railroad rack ? -You are a parody of life ..a poor life .a try hard every moment life that no one sees except your mumma who hates you. -This dastardly virgin is scheming up a way to finally get laid -You may have turned 30 but you’re looking more like 40 with that mustache -You look like Gene Shallots younger gayer brother. -"Everything on his wall.. and ceiling. Are part of his, ""anything is a dildo if you're brave enough"" collection." -"Coming at you live, it's snidely whiplash." -It’s giving mama Mia -You look like you eat bussy. -Your hair tells me you're both a mobster and a tiktok kid -You look like the winner of an early 1900s weak man competition. -Freddy Mercury from wish.com -bro you gotta smiling moustache -When did Mario and Luigi start taking crack?? -Freddy Dali or Salvador Mercury ? Call it -I dont know you but i still hate your personality -You like the creepy substitute teacher who wearing a Free Mustache Rides t-shirt to school okay. -You look like a sex offender that hangs around the playground -You look like a rejected pixar villain with that moustache -Snidely Whiplash … but you tie effeminate dudes to the railroad track . -You look like someone mashed the random button 50 times in a character creator -"You star in a documentary about ""How many dicks can one person fit inside themselves at the same time?"" And you seem to go for the World Record." -Poirot wildin out in Nice before his first big case -https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Snidely_Whiplash -Your mustache is uneven -Only 30? But you’ve been my barista for 15 years. -Salvador Dalí you look great for 113!!! -Close up magician child predator -If it isn’t the dirty sanchez himself -You look like your selling mom's Spaghetti at a kiosk -Queersbury Rules for Lesbian Mario for 10 rounds of Glory Hole Filatio Lip Bonding boxing. -"Itsa me, itsa gayario." -U look like Boner from Growing Pains cosplaying as a magician. -Salvador Squirrely! -"It's a me not mario ""red Luigi """ -You make a great gay captain hook -"No I don't want a Donny Brook or play Mario Party, go back to your speak easy Waluigi." -If Salvador Dali was a well built twink… that i fucked then went to the clinic straight after. -No need to you’ve already done enough by looking in the mirror -Happy birthday! Here’s to 30 more years of horrible life choices! -You tell people you work for the circus as sword swallower but in reality you give BJ’s behind the dumpster and shovel the donkey shit. -Happy Birthday! Here’s to 30 more years of horrible life choices! -"Zoro, the gayest of all blades." -Butter face. -Ahhh my name Borat ... You like try my back pussy ? -Meet the 3rd Mario Brother Gayrio -"It's Zorro after he pawned his mask, hat, cape, sword and horse." -Salvador Dali did it better -"I have two words after seeing you, ""mamma mia""" -mario cousin unglyo -"It’s me, Mario!!!" -"I've never seen someone try so hard on roastme. - -Lookin like Carlos Santana bred Bruno Marz and he crapped out this hyperactive turd. - -Yo, ""Temu"" is not a style, bro!" -I 33 and you look like my uncle... who is 60 -You look like a cartoon super villain from the 20s -You look like a lesbian who is transitioning to Wario -Bro looking like the Monopoly dude -How long has it been since you were banished from the Ringling Brothers flying circus? 🎪 -You definitely listen to ska bands. -"Wow, 30 years old and still maintaining that elementary school clown mentality, nice. Have you considered wearing ""I AM AN IDIOT"" t-shirt to complement your haircut and ""moustaches""?" -You look like an extra for the gay pirate broadway musical “The Peggers of Penzance” -The only pussy you’ve ever had is hanging on the wall behind you. -You look like Harry Styles -God I hate novelty mustaches..... -Tied any damsels to railroad tracks lately? -"You look like you ran away with the circus, but the circus is always trying to run away from you." -"Snidely Whiplash isn’t a positive role model. - -Oh, and remember that you’re not permitted within 500 yards of Penelope Pitstop." -Captain Hook wants his mustache back -You’re awkwardly smiling but dyeing inside. -"Born on Womens day , finally you got some attention for your birthday bro" -"""Whats that BANGING?"" ""SHUDDUP MA, im hanging up my skateboard and guitar! Im tryna get my karma ip to be an influencer""" -"Wow Wario, you've lost weight! Happy birthday Wario!!! I'm the same age as you, by the way...maybe I'm a few months older than you :-)" -Oh you got a train ran on you after this pic... -Just turned 30 tricks -If George Santos fucked Rip Taylor -Are you speaking on behalf of your mustache? -This look was unique 15 years ago but now it’s the new “cool story bro” frat boy uniform -"Nice Mustashce, dude" -Official Onlyfans Penis Rater -If Lalo Salamanca started dipping into his own meth and was suddenly obsessed with Barbara Streisand & Wham's music. -William Wright’s 3 brother: William fright -"You look like a discount Mario brother, stewio from wish" -"Let’s see here, you position yourself perfectly right in between the bass and the skateboard because people who play bass or ride skateboards are cool right? - -You’re looking off to the side in hopes that we won’t notice your lazy eye but we noticed. To make this look more natural, you are fake laughing like you have a friend off camera when we all know you will go to Walmart later and get yourself a cake and cry eat the whole thing completely alone. - -Here’s an idea, you can go get that girl you tied up and left on the railroad tracks. Maybe she will celebrate with you, as long as you don’t untie her." -It’s a Sporticus wannabe so the little kids will flock to him -Are you the model for the Pringles can? -I think you actually turned 1930. -Hipster Captain Hook -You play wonderwall in bars -"It's a me, Mario!" -You look like the Pringle logo’s disappointing son -Wish.com Taika Waititi. -"Fix that mustache, hipster" -Gotta go save the Fairy Mushroom Kingdom? -You look like one of the three Muskequeers -You look like if Mario was on steroids not to mention yo goofy ah smile -"I would tell you that it’s all downhill from here, but that moustache proves you were toboggan the negative slope before hand." -Shave that mustache what do you have......nothing -his mustache reminds me of sportacus😭 -"If no personality wants recognition for having a personality, they grow a moo-stache like this." -You've got a face for radio. -"You have answered a question asked by no one, what would Mario look like if he had pipes for arms." -So it's been about 12 years since you were allowed anywhere near a school. -"I literally knew you played bass before I even noticed it one the wall simply because you have those two front shoulder tattoos. - -Post your band link and I’ll check it out though." -You look like a kebab vendor in a wandering flea circus. -Bouncer at Rainbows -"This guy is a pussy… take that dick broom off your face, and lose the cutie-pie healing power of crystals jewelry, you creep." -Borat's back -Oh look a vaudeville PDFile -Pepe Le Douche -Happy Women’s Day! -Gaydro Pascal -Each personality has its own look -It’s life sized Wario! -Congrats! IT's a great time to be 30 and gay! -30? Your kids are older than 30 -I would but I'm worried you'll kidnap my family and tie them to train tracks. -Mama Mia? -"You look like you have a woman tied to the railroad tracks somewhere. Let her go, Barnabas!" -Idgaf bout the Bday roast but Yodi that Stash is on Fuckin Point I mean it’s awesomeness.com in this bitch! -You just turned 30 but your apartment decor is still 23…vintage circus strongman. -You look like you hide behind bushes in parks and wait for old ladies to leave the bench so you can sniff it -Itsa meeee! Salvador Dali!! -Not at all a roast. Or maybe it is. Depends on how you look at it. But you look like Monty Monty from Netflix’s a series of unfortunate events. The snake guy -You look like a piano player for a saloon in the 1800’s -Your look screams “I have a suspiciously young gf” -Trying to stand out with the reverse Chaplin -You look like you buy baby carrots just to suck on them -No need to roast you. The pic is more than adequate. -Wants to be the strong man in the circus but he's only freak show material -Can I have your bass? -"""Pinocchio. . I have made you a real boy, and now that you are. . I am going to f*ck you. Find solace in my hummingbird tattoo""" -Geppetto - a weak circus strong man. -You look like you're Taika Waititi's husband after you've been slowly morphing into one person during your blissful marriage. And you never get to top but always beg to -You look like one of those super obsessive over the top gay guys whose sexuality makes up your entire identity but you smell women's unwashed socks on the down low. -You look more interesting and charming than 99% of the ppl I’ve seen in my life. -Failed pickup artist from the early 2000s -You look like a villian in an old silent Charlie Chaplin film -Dude your mustache is so cool. This guy must be really fuckin cool. -Get rid of the shitty tribal tattoo good god. -Millennial looking ass -A gondola is missing it’s idiot -"You just returned from tying a fair maiden to the train tracks, didn’t you?" -I thought Freddie Mercury was dead -"You drink PBR and you were into that new band way before anyone else was. And the last high school girl you fucked, you gave her genital warts." -"You look too happy, and you a masochist?" -You're a very silly man. -"""Well well well, welcome to my evil lair"" --This guy, whilst spinning around in his comically high-back chair to reveal a cat on his lap which he pets mischievously" -Hey it's linguini's birthday mama Mia Mario it's me a louiji 🤌🤌maaaaama miiiiia -You look like a bass player. -IIIIITSSSSA Luigi! -30 plus 15 -"My, but you're quirky, aren't you?" -This is a guy who gets pissed off when he’s rejected and ties the chick to the railroad tracks. -"You are no where near as cool as you think you are. -Everyone around you is nice to your face because they don't want to be labeled as anything that isnt politically correct....but behind your back I could only imagine what is said" -heh ! salvador dali not yet died? -Needs a top hat and a red tail coat with jodhpurs and riding boots. Then give him a whip and some leopards to eat his face… -Lose the stache you knob. -U look like someone who likes the warm side of the pillow -Gayer than Freddie mercury. -You look like bane from a knockoff batman flick. Wingman vs bahn lol -You look like an off brand Taika Waititi -You look like Salvador Dali in that your face could melt clocks! -MOM YOU DIDNT BUY THE *ORGANIC* MOUSTACHE WAX YOU STUPID BITCH!!! -Salvapoor Dali -You look like a gay Snydley Whiplash -You should not speak to whoever told you the mustache is working ever again. You look 50. -You look like a Wish Jack ze Whipper -This guys definitely getting butt fucked tonight -Your friends probably have a group chat without you. -Imagine being only 30 and being banned from all school zones -So many cliches in one pic. My head almost exploded -I picture you riding a large wheel bicycle and stopping to lift dumbells and anvils. -Looks like the only bars you ever lifted were your mustache -"the tattoos.. the piercings.. the mustache.. the bass guitar.. the skateboard... this guys confidence cannot survive on its own, mf needs to hold onto something new to define himself every 3 seconds" -Mario? -I don't if you are some joker who is trying to make a ( very bad and ridiculous) impression of a Latino or if you have just a Differnt aesthetic sense. -Prime example of why we need to bring back bullies. -"I hope your look is an intentional joke. If not, Salvador Dali did it first and better." -Mustache courteous of baby batter. -You can see his house is a mess he is immature lacks confidence his financially not well off I would give a 10/10 for being a loser at 30 and clean your house you’re a slob! -ok Boris I can't help you find Rocky and Bullwinkle I think Natasha and Snidely are looking for their henchmen. -Pls for the love of god shave the handlebars -"Judging by that nose piercing, moustache and tattoos, you’re signalling to us that you’re a fun and interesting person! I’m sure you’ve got the personality to match it! Do you play music too?!?! TOTAL ORIGINAL RIGHT HERE" -"'Salt Gae' ? - -Salt Baes abandoned son/daughter" -How many tickets for the sledgehammer Love meter game? -This dude definitely owns a monocle and a pocket watch. Give it a few more years and he’ll evolve into the monopoly man. -Thirty Sanchez -bro got a board but can’t even kickflip lol -That nose is obese -ay senior it’s me mario Rodriguez!! -You're a bass player. -You don't have to put on a funny mustache to be roasted. There are plenty of goofy things about you already. -100% chance that your mustache is your whole personality -"""Look at my moustache, I'm so quirky!""" -A gay looking Rollie Fingers -"You look like your rival is a blue hedgehog, you are both his rivals" -You look like a weird Salvador Dali -Super Mario's seen better days -Willy wonkas evil origin arc -Gold D Roger but without milk -Sweet 'stache dude! 👍 -"Holy shit, that mustache! - -Seriously, how the f*CK do you look at that in the mirror, and think, ""Yeah, this is the look I'm going for. It looks good."" - -You look like a fkn clown." -When Bowser hit Mario with the Gay beam -That sparrow tattoo...WHY -Uhh… 1930s strongman?!?!?!?!!?!?? -Salvatore Dali Jr. -It's a me wario happy birthday 🎂 bro 🤘 -Guys it’s Jim Carrey as eggman -"What do you get a guy that has both a guitar AND a skateboard on the wall when he's 30? -A personality. -You get him a personality." -You look like you don’t actually know how to skateboard OR play guitar -The worst elements of every theater kid without any of the talent -"God damn, Mario was a hot rock guitarist before he gained weight! Who knew!" -Dollar store Taika Waititi -He’s the evil circus ringmaster from every Disney movie -The Cartoon Network called. They want your face back. -Not really a roast but you look like Anthony Padilla if he had a total obsession with Mario -"Yeah, right, 30. You've been 'turning 30"" for the last 7 or 8 years." -You look like you got a scoreboard on your back for the cumshots...... -You look like you have a YouTube channel aimed specifically at 9 year olds -"Look at me! I hang skateboard decks and guitars on my wall! I’m so interesting and edgy. (Maybe someone will finally fuck me). - -I know! I’ll twist my mustache like a French lothario! Then they’ll all want a mustache ride. - -Damn… still no ass. I don’t get it. I’ll just do a RoastMe on Reddit… Will someone please pay attention to me?!" -"Soooo, drugs, right?" -You look like a foreign exchange student who just found out about Mario a week ago. -You look like captain hook as a power bottom -When your entire personality revolves around your mustache -If hard kombucha were a person^^^^^^ -"No matter how much you want it, you're not making it into Smash Bros." -You look like a man with more than one restraining orders. -That moustache does not make you quirky or unique. Get a personality. -You look like Anthony Padilla came out of the closet. -loved you in mario party -You look like Mario from Ohio -30? I guess doing gay porn really ages you.. -Taika Waititi from Wish -Are you celebrating with your bf? -I’ve seen pictures of people in old circus attractions… you’re the guy lifting the heavy weights made of paper -The mouth you’d expect to find behind all glory holes. -I’ve never lost testosterone looking at a picture until now -Vaudeville called. They want their mustache back. -I cant even see your tattoos but i know theyre terrible -Salvador SmallP -Salvador Dali wants his moustache back. -Weightlifting Wario -30? That’s a rough 30 -Is that a hummingbird tattoo? Yeah he’s gay asf -Grow up. -Bro looks like a lesbian wearing a fake mustache -"Happy birthday, But that mustache would have to look normal" -Why do you got thats cheesy villain mustache like the guy from meet the robinsons -You look like Taika Waititi and an old timey Russian body builder had a super gay child together -"Circus in the front, circus in the back" -r/unexpectedfactorial -You look like a child’s half finished drawing -Its him its mario !!! -Ok Anthony Padilla (with a Spritz of Freddie mercury) -"Sono così orgoglioso di te, Wario! hai finalmente smesso di mangiare aglio crudo ad ogni pasto! (I know you can read that, little Italy, don’t lie to me)" -Captain Jack Chomo -You couldn't figure out how best to look like an asshole.... so you tried everything. -"Your mustache says ""I have a creepy van"". - -But your smile says ""But I also have candy!""" -The main character of a gay porn pirate movie. -Seen the muscle vest came today…muscles coming tomorrow? -If doctor robotnik was gay -comment -"I see you skipped the honeymoon phase and went straight for ""let ourselves go""" -Why does it look like you both settled? -You look like you finish each other's blowjobs. -You look like your sex life is nothing but an unenthusiastic hand job during an episode of The Bachelorette. -"Holy shit…you could literally swap your eyes, nose, cheeks, teeth, or smile and I couldn’t tell." -Might want to check 23andMe -"She really thought, “I want to get railed forever by a chipmunk cheeked cherub with one continuous wreath of hair?”" -"You two look like the third-rate, dirt-farming redneck version of Daenerys and Jon Snow." -looks like a gay lumberjack with his midget boyfriend. -It really warms my heart to see how in love two cousins can be -Ouch. Neither one “married up”. -I think it's awesome when blind people fall in love -"Wholesome. In a couple of years, after she graduates high school, you guys can finally have that drink to celebrate your nuptials. So much to look forward to." -You've reached the epitome of average. -two young lovers destined to live paycheck to paycheck together -You guys are siblings. Like...it isn't even a question. You have the same face. -Relationship status: open -Thanksgiving’s about to get ruined when Mom and Dad find out you’re not just married—you’re fucking siblings. -You married Fidel Castro? -So how close to the bed does her bull let you to the bed while filming? -If Abraham Lincoln married his step-daughter -$10 bucks says she’s the one who gives the first Dutch oven -It’s not going to last. -why did you guys wait until your late 40s to get married? asking for an old friend. -Could land a plane on your firstborn’s forehead -John snow and one of those birches I wanked to -Wish Jesus out here robbing the cradle. So what'd you have to do to get her parents to sign the marriage certificate? -I love it when families are so close -"What's your brown paper bag budget per month? - -You're both double baggers, so it must be pretty high." -Two months? Calling that the halfway mark to your divorce. -It's clear to see who wears the strap-on in your relationship. -"They are going to wait until they have 3 kids before they do an ancestry test, just to find out they have the same father" -Let me guess...you met while playing an online game. -"For the female on the left All I will say is you can do way better than this temu chewbacca … divorce is the smart decision but unfortunately it looked like you didn’t pass elementary school and are one of those trophy wife if the trophy is ugliest woman ever - -Now for the female on the right that look like a dude, I would say you can do better but I would be lying, it was a miracle you found her without kidnapping her and she didn’t scream bloody murder I mean look at yourself, my glasses cracked just by looking at you" -"Him: “Hey babe, do this RoastMe thing with me?” - -Her: “Oh god, I’m already regretting this marriage.” - -Him: “It will be fun, you’ll see.” - -Her: “Oh god, I’m already regretting this marriage.” - -Him: “Haha, you’re hilarious. I love you.” - -Her: “Oh god, I’m already regretting this marriage.”" -She’s the type of girl who would leave you for some dude she met playing online games and he would too…. -Damn they really do have somebody for everyone… in your case it was the two last people in the Olive Garden parking lot -Good luck. Neither of you could have done better or worse. Pair of 5's I suppose. Invest in shampoo. Looking a little greasy. -You look like Mary and Joseph if they had a miscarriage. -You both look like you have wicked dingleberries -She married her first @ -Wendigoon fell off hard. -"You're out of your league, Fidel. Barely though, she's not winning any prizes either." -"Dang, she’s pretty cute. Too bad she fell for a Neanderthal." -That new age of consent law in Iraq passed super quick -You look like $5 footlong -We all know who settled. -Joined at the head like a weird set of incestuous conjoined twins -Blink twice if you’re in distress -Characters in an off-brand Scrubs sitcom -You look like ur wife post trt therapy -"She's thinking ""i can't believe he hasn't figured out i fuck his friends""" -You should definitely check his browser history. -Definitely a couple that sees Applebees as a ‘fancy’ meal. -"Neither one of y'all own a comb or brush, do you?" -How nice you untied her and let her out of the basement just to know she’s married. -Make sure to include your wife’s boyfriend in the next roast so we get a full picture of your relationship. -How many black guys has she fucked in front of you so far? I'd guess 8 at least. -You look like that couple that I’m forced to smile at and comment about the weather during hikes -I bet you have joint Facebook acc -Blink if he’s hurting you -How is that green card marriage working out for you sir? -Shes gonna leave you for your sister -"Congrats on getting your green card, bro." -The Yuck branch of Isis -She's gonna take half you shit and will brag to everyone who will listen that She's a single mother. -I'm guessing no hair care products in the wedding registry? -what did you do kidnap her -I can definitely tell who wears the Crocs in this relationship.... -"sorry man, i cant, you two are just too cute together" -I bet she pegs you at least six times a week. -I've dated her in highschool . There's a whole paragraph I could roast her about but you'll find out bubba -Mario and Peach fresh outta rehab 😂 -Congrats but did she finish her lunchables and caprisun? -Prenup? -I though that was your daughter -now I know why some parents eat their young. -Yeah she definitely dated down. -"Aw, how cute. A boy and his dog." -Halfway done! -Married 2 months but started the cheesy YouTube channel 3 years ago -"Dr. Potato. Is that her nickname for your head or your brain? Either shes the size of a barbie doll or all that hair makes your head look like the Kool aid man about to burst through a wall and say, ""Oh Yeah"" Im not a conspiracy theorist, but you do have a red shirt on. And any woman that looks that happy with you HAS to be your mother, so that just brings up more questions that we all don't want answered." -I wish you two more months of happiness!!! (Then the marriage part will make itself known.) -I didn’t know substitute teachers could marry students. -It's so nice to see a lesbian couple so full of love -2 yrs max -Beast and the beast -"Aww, just like Daenerys and John Snow. In that you are related, not that you're at all attractive." -ur so poor u need to use an envelope as paper -"When you finally let her sober up and realises you're not her childhood teddy bear, it's game over" -Walmart Jon Snow married discount Daenerys Targaryen -I wish you both the best in your eventual divorce. -Your wife looks like she's proudly displaying her first Wooly Willy portrait. -Does she know? -Why does the husband's two front teeth make better eye contact than either of them -And to think people say potatoes aren’t cute. Username checks out -The John snow and Dany Targaryen we have at home -"Life is gonna roast y'all enough, I got nothing on that." -Your mother was right about her. -Goddamn if you accidentally head butted her you would catch a murder charge -WENDIGOONS CHEATING ON KAYLA!!! -Looks like she married sasquatch. -Did you write on the envelope that contains the divorce papers? -Can't tell if you missus hasn't wash her face today or if you just like facials. -I suspect you’re not a real doctor. -Nothing to roast 💕 -Why does your bedroom smell like a nursing home and regret -You are one divorce away from becoming a terrorist. You already groom like one -Tell me you met at the family reunion without telling me you met at the family reunion… -What a beautiful couple! -Good job on getting your beard to perfectly match your hair. -"kidnapping is still illegal, let her free" -👁️👄👁️You married your sister?! -Do you use her face grease to oil up that scummy hippie beard? -"You need to trim all that hair, it will interfere with oral sex. Oh, but the beard is cool" -Sweet Home Alabama -I give it 2 months -Did her bull enjoy the honeymoon as much as you did? -Sasquatch plus one -Geez y'all are definitely going to have some fucked up looking kids. -"Dollar store Paul Rudd and dollar store Leslie Mann, back in front of the camera, only this time the studio is called OnlyFans and their co-star is a midget in a cowboy hat." -Y u married your sista? You guys are identical -Holy neckbeard -You look like her pussy stinks. -Gay marriage success story -"forgettable couple is forgettable. you should try to be spies, I already forgot your basic mugs. but since I saw the backs of your heads through your empty eyes I doubt you'll make the cut. who am I talking about again? yeah, whatevah." -The poster couple for bringing Roe Vs Wade worldwide. -"Ahhhh Jesus has arrived, with his wife, Set them free to heaven. RIP 🙏 🪦 😌" -"Yall are actually second cousins once removed by a native from when one of yalls (take a guess who) moms served in Desert Storm. - -Just kidding idek what once removed really means." -"Know how Taylor and Travis are the rich, famous, hot celebrity“it” couple? Yeah, you’re the polar opposite of that." -The next Barbie and Ken murderers -"Dude trim the mangy rat you call facial hair -and get rid of the beard." -Looks like you both settled. Please don't reproduce. -Looks like she'd marry a garbage bin. -Why did you glue hair from your wife's pussy to your face? -Smells likes sardines and peanut butter -So nice to see a homeless couple smiling. -Guaranteed she’s already cheating on him -Y'all have a shared Facebook profile -What kind of man wants other people to insult his wife? It's kinda sad. -When did you meet? You look like a cradle snatcher -Cousins deserve love too. -What's it like marrying your ugly sister? -"It's giving heartwarming ""end of Shrek"" vibes." -WTF?!? -Ma mothers ma sister -You look like wendigoon. -Curious whose genitalia generally produces the stronger odor? -Definitely divorced in month 3 -Won’t last -You married your daughter? -"Well God dog on it, you to look like a ceremonial beer of my nature light beauty. Thank God you both don't have the same last name, oh shit you do. Thee end." -She obviously hasn't seen your post history. -Have you guys taken a shower in those two months.... -I am sure they have fart competition where the girl always wins. -Y’all gon have a family band with kids like Donnie and Marie. 🤷🏿💯🤦🏿‍♂️ -"Time to shave your pubes, I mean your face." -Stay off internet meep your joy -"You remind me of salt and pepper, always seen next to each other and always used in unison, however too much of either can ruin a perfect meal. We all know who the salty one is!" -Was it so hard to find a girlfriend for the homeless looking guy that he had to marry his own mom? -Me and my bruncle...ask me in 6 months -"Both of you go to bed unhappy thinking you settled beneath you, and surprising you’re both right" -To the girl in the picture: you done fucked up! -wife rather sleeps on the couch in 25 years -Cute couple! -"You, sir, married up. You should remember this, even after you have been married for many years. Treat her like you did when you first fell in love." -"Dude, she’s cheating on you!" -"You look like the rent in the neighborhood is about to go up. - -You look like a Starbucks is being built nearby. - -You look like you just got back from building wells in Haiti." -I hope you kept your receipt so you can maybe get a discount on your next bride -"Not really beauty, and the beast" -No-Booty & The Beast -Are you two twin cousins? -Enjoy it now cuz by the looks of you one day you're gonna come home early and she will be getting bent over and stuffed into the corner of something by your neighbor -"Dude - she is Cute, make sure your mom owns the house and the car... Not sure how you even get there, i assume 150k+/y otherwise she would skip dude" -"I see the roasted potatoes. Where the chicken that usually goes with it? - -Seriously… congrats on your marriage!" -That's quite a while that guide dog has been at the veterinarian. -I taught she was your daughter -Thank you for taking each other off the market. Now do humanity a favor and do not procreate -When she buys the butt plug and you think ooh she’s kinky ……but she hands it to you instead ………. That’s the kind of forced smile you are both wearing…. -It’s giving “16 year old and her math teacher run away together” -If cheap-penny marries cheap-raj -It's funny how you need a roast me page to save your marriage and keep it exciting -jon snow? -"Lovely ! May you live together till death do you part, Amen." -"Be honest, which one of you settled?" -Why ? -"She hates your facial hair, but she wont admit it. And he hates her shirt. 😝" -You look like cousins who fuck eachother -I bet 3 bucks whatever kids you have will look nothing like you and a lot like your neighbor and you won´t even ask. -He doesn’t cut his hair or his fingernails -Please join the 4b project and save the world. -It's always nice when the kidnapped girl you've had in the basement finally comes around and says yes to your marriage proposal. -is this fucking wendigoon -It’s sad to think that your kids will be continually asked “Do you know what kind of people make the ugliest babies”? … No! “Ask your mum and dad”! -Are you cousins by any chance? -What model van do you two live in -"Let’s have a spicy Sunday night in - Netflix, weed & popcorn, RoastMe, then rock the house" -"You look like a guy that is into Anime a little too much, thinks a beard looks good on him, is a late-stage Tesla-Owner but can't really afford it, and has a slight problem with his body oders. - -And wow, she looks just like a girl that blew me last weekend — she from Portland Metro Area by any chance?" -She already is cheating and you watch it happen -You both look like you used the arse end of a mail-in ballot envelope for that photo. -You could do better... -I kkow you were going for the Game of Thrones look but you got the Chip and Dale look with those chipmunk smiles. -At least you’ll know who’s hair is in your mouth -This is the before and after of a catfish. The one you think you're talking to finds out it's just your gay uncle. -Smug -"You will be divorced in two years, she will get sick of your obsession with spiderman, your childish humour, pubes in her mouth, you will one day find an std in your mouth and she will just tell you, you are punching above your weight so just enjoy this first year before it all goes to shit." -Where is that Florida trailer park? -She looks like your daughter 🧐 -Mss and mister forehead. -Looks like a caveman married an old mop! -I bet you have matching tattoos. -Gorgeous couple -You are punching. Your sister is way hotter than you. -Facial hair inspired by The Lorax. -pets look like their owners. -"I see you guys skipped the low bar of finding each other online and went straight to finding a hookup at the family reunion. - -My condolences for the baby, that you will inevitably name sloth. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers." -"Beastly and the Beef. -Starring bathroom blowjob Betty and truck-stop ""travel- a.i.d.(s)"" Stu." -You look like you were a 4chan mod 4 years ago and groomed until she was of age and never bothered to leave 4 chan -Little over 2 months and she already looks like she will leave you any second from now on -Dude looks like John Snow ordered from wish.. -Stockholm sydrome is strong in this one. -Swingers in 5…4…3…2…1… aaaand Go! -"Normally, one partner is punching above their weight." -I can't wait for this version of Amityville Horror. -Nice brother/sister photo. Where did you two get married? Alabama? -Divorce. -You two are perfect for each other -Arranged marriage or holding her against her will for sure -Pictured: Jesus and Mary Magdalene taking one last selfie before the last supper. -She's doing the fit UPS guy. -and why are you on reddit after just 2 months xD -He already forgot about the exact wedding date -you didn't have to get married -- you're already related! -Where does she keep your balls? In her purse or in the nightstand? -With all that forehead your kids will look like doctor evil -What a waste of good pussy -"When you have kids, you’ll be both mum and day aswell as auntie and uncle" -"I'm sure there is a different place to post about brother, sister marriage 🤷‍♀️" -Why do i get the feeling you know each other since birth 💀💀 -Dude looks like Wendigoon if he ate Wendigoon... -Leave some food for others too. -Grizzly Adams and the Snow Tramp -"You look like her science teacher, 🚔🚔🚔👮‍♀️👮‍♀️👮‍♀️" -"her head is so much smaller than yours, is she your child bride?" -You two probably used to be happy together and so very in love. Marriage will fix that. -"Congratulations, you settled. I will let you figure out which one lowered their expectations. Who am I kidding? Looking at those fake smiles and dead eyes the answer is both." -Her teeth are cum stained. -Doesn't the beard tickle your sister? Hope she didn't give up shaving too. -"She can do better, but not much." -Already so bored you take to reddit in the desperate hope of adding some minuscule spark to the woeful enterprise of your marriage... I can't imagine how it wouldn't end with one of you in the newspaper and the other in the morgue. -Iceberg boy -You guys look very happy!! Nothing to roast and congratulations!!! -I feel like she must really hate her father. -You look related -Zardous? -Unibomber and his clueless girlfriend. -"Reddit roasting happily married couples? What are they gonna do, tell them they're breeders or something while hissing like cats? You'd get a better roast talking about relationship problems at r/AITAH where the default advice is breaking up or divorce." -"Today is National Sibling Day. Or in your case... ... - -HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!🎂🎂" -"A marriage so easy, even a cave man can do it." -Bold of you to post a picture of what settling looks like. -2 of these people only sleep with Latino men. -Looks like you guys fell in love at convention where you were discussing the pros and cons of Yu-Gi-Oh. -Is she blind? -He looks straight of the 70s with that hair. She looks like she got railed by 70 guys with hers -Just ask to speak with the manager already. -"Thank God he marry a "" BLONDE "" woman -Thank God she marry a frickin lion but a black hair" -Alliterative burn. Nice! -Wow! She really married down -Crazy how two people who transitioned to the opposite sex still found each other. Good for you -Oldie but goodie selfie of Charles Manson and one of his zealots. -"she cheats alot, guranteed.. you can tell by her face" -I bet they have a Joint Facebook Account. -"Was the last shower, also 2 months ago?" -"Congrats guys! Ugly love is love, too! Ignore the haters." -"Hey look, a couple that underwent gender reassignment procedures." -Aren’t you guys late for a camping at a music festival/orgy? -Can we do this again in a couple months to celebrate the divorce? -I wonder which one is going to sober up first and realize they married someone who looks like that. Ewwww. -The marriage won’t last long. Two months into it and you both already need to go to the internet for attention. Honey moon phase ended before y’all even got married -Is she blind and can't smell? -This will last -Divorced in 2 more -"I’ve not seen this Che Guevara pic before, can I buy it on a shirt?" -Looking at you.. she definitely has a “Pizza Hut” saved in her phone that she gets random 11pm promotional deals from -CONGRATULATIONS 🎊 -"Moana looking ahh💀 blonde looking ahh💀 -Bros the rock 3.0 made in china💀 -She's a 10 but she's blonde so pass 💀 -You two look like the beauty and the beast💀" -"-Been married for two months... - --Been joined @ the head since birth... - -welcome to Kentucky!!!!!" -"This is not what she thought you meant when you said ""hunny wanna get roasted""" -Did u kidnap her? -"And a little over two months more we will see a post ""open minded recently married couple looking for like minded couples or singles to exchange experiences"". Sorry dude but it is going to be all threesomes... with an extra dude... or severalsomes... with several extra dudes... and then without you 😐" -Who married who for the Green Card? -"""Marriage""...is that what he called it when he clubbed you over the head and dragged you home?" -It must have saved expense at the wedding with only one side of the aisle filled -Didn't know you can marry your brother and sister. Congratulations! -"Honey, what is it like to marry into the Taliban ?" -You guys look like Siamese twins your heads are so smushed together. -Why u look like gorlock the destroyer wit ur wife u so dumb asf I see u skipped KG because it was hard -"No joke, you two look like siblings. Facial features are so similar its crazy" -"I was going to say, ‘Have a lovely life, farewell.’ But after seeing you, I’d say, ‘Congrats on a life on welfare.’" -Looks like she went ahead and settled early. -The first thing you saved for the future were 2 extra chromosomes -She’s already thinking about his divorced dad -"Boy shut tf up you built like a soggy McDonald's fry -I just hit and lick on yo' grandma and left her to cry -You sexualy identify as a point ball pen not a guy -You look like that old Supreme Kai -And you thought I was done? Nah, yo' wife next -Bitch yo' husband kicked you out of the house so you started aggressively tapping the home button on some random IPhone you found on the street -I'm sick and tired of you being in my backyard and taking a shit -Your grandma chocked on a leaf of mint -Yo' blood related husband and you don't play Super Smash Bros, you play Sis' And Bro Super Smashing on servers of Alabama!" -Is there a whole-body term for permanent bedhead? -"Pretty sure I saw you guys at target last night. Not a roast, genuinely curious if I’m right." -It's amazing that you two find each other out of all the step-siblings that your father produced -Van life -"Alabama is a hell of a state of mind. - -Guess you gotta keep the family tree as an ouroboros." -Oh you poor bastards get that tumour growing out of the side of your face seen to. -Clearly related. -Are you sure you two aren't posterchildren for DINKs? -She married her older brother 😳🤨😯👀 -Ok where did you find this 1☺️ -To each other? -How old are you two? At what age did yall start dating or just fucking? I only ask because she looks like she just graduated middle school. Were you her sub one day? Did you meet behind the bleachers? Honey are you ok? Blink 2.5 times if you need immediate assistance -I thought liking Che Guevara was just a phase in college for most people -Blink twice if you are in danger…also he knocked up the goat! -"Just married, you say? Too bad nobody gave y’all a shower" -You look like the couple that shows up to an orgy uninvited to talk about a deity you worship in a public park to people who are in mid-coitis. -You both could have done better. -"is she ok , someone check on her" -Dude married up. She’s already looking. -Wifey has a thing for that happy terrorist look.. -Soulmate siblings -Waiting for the after picture of the Dark baby and the dark best friend standing to the side. -I give it a year. Posting on Reddit is the beginning of the end. Don't get pregnant. -There’s a beard in that pic but not a facial one. -I'm subbed to her OF - it used to be better when she looked happier -You're supposed to wait until she gets her period before you get married. -Where's your trailer park located at? -Awww that's disgusting 🫣 -Was he a rescue? -Shes way too hot for you dude. Level up girl. -Temu version of Noah and Joanne on Nobody Wants This -You look like you have 2 cats and never clean the litter box -Already planning the gender reveal party -Go through her phone -Not hard to tell who’s the one settling. -The divorce will be awkward when they still have to share dinner at mom’s table -Hairy Garcia -"All I can hear in my head is that old punch-line from the Jacobi and Meyers law commercial...""Let's Settle!"" It's not difficult to see who ""married down"" and who ""goes down."" Let's just call it a tie." -Nice to see siblings so close. A little too close in your case -Is this brother and sister?? If not I mean looks like a decent couple so I’ll let it go -She could have done better. -"I'm glad you removed each other from the dating pool, makes things much less awkward for everyone else 🤗" -I’d take your wife and make you watch -"You want a roast, as if incest wasn't enough." -You look like you always shop at Dollar General. -"Wow, 2 months and doing the couples' social media thing. So who cheated?" -How do they allow you to share the same prison cell? -Look! He has a beard! I wonder what her name is? -When a solid 3 punches down. -How long you been screwing your little sister ya peado -She has a horrible taste in men -Congratulations for both. -"You two are already obnoxious as a couple. Please do not procreate. As parents, you will be insufferable." -You both look like you settled for each other and she bleaches the hair over her lip and his ass has hair growing out of it that she braids for him -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->I'm trying to get my shit together after a nasty addiction. everyone I know is drug addicts and I was living in my 2008 Honda accord before this. I like working on my car but I'm too dumb to use a jack stand until recently. I'm a former emo, I like skateboarding and because of my perfume choice I smell like a trashy 2000s mean girl almost constantly. I support the second amendment and am going to move into a trailer with my bf after sober living. my goals in life are to become either an EMT or an LADC. eventually it would be cool to become a criminal lawyer or a cop. apparently I look like trailer Miley Cyrus plus methy Justin Bieber - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -That haircut alone could use a 12 step program. -You look like you became a lesbian because you liked the look -"Any addiction can be overcome and I hope you find good people to help you. - -But your eyebrows are ruined and cannot be salvaged." -"“Make me hate myself”? - -You’re 18 in a sober house, you look like if a cabbage patch kid grew up and gangfucked the Trailer Park Boys, and you couldn’t figure out which direction to hold a fucking paper. - -How do you not already hate yourself?" -Does being sober make you unable to figure out which side is the paper should face the camera? -"You have the whole, Dog the Bounty Hunter, hair texture thing down." -You're going to be a very nteresting constantly relapsing born again Christian alcoholic single mom. -"Don’t worry, you’re gonna make a fine community college vet tech drop out" - That lesbian jiffy lube assistant manager -Only 12 more steps left to become a man -"well, you keep it up youre gunna be that 50 year old in the sober house with a mullet and a deep raspy voice, telling people your age war stories of having to boost from stores for a 6 pack cause the truck drivers arent soliciting you from the lot any more." -It's hard out here for an eyebrow -"You smell like burnt vape juice, Ramen noodles, and stale coffee" -Please don’t ask me for a cigarette -"18, living in a sober house ""make me hate myself"". I don't have to. You already do." -"Cute little lesbian, but she looks like her breath smells like a fish mongers floor. There's just something about her half-shaven right eyebrow and her dusty shirt which says ""I've seen more crusty flaps than a Russian aircraft maintenance engineer""." -"Shaved head, septum ring and pale complexion. - -There is definitely an abortion in this story." -"Have you found out yet that without alcohol, no one actually likes you?" -Is it a slip for you if looking at your pictures makes *me* want to drink? -You look like a stepped on peep candy. -Your nose is so far off your face it has a different atmosphere. Everyone who’s kissed you felt like a cold raw hotdog touched their face before your lips met. -"Look a broken dishwasher, guys put a load in it, yet still doesn’t clean." -gd your neck is so thick its almost a torso -"You add more piercings and style an edgy haircut because you simultaneously want to prove how unique you are, but also want to show how much you can fit in and conform to a group of people who, for all their attempts to be different, are just another herd in the cattle chute for slaughter" -"you are holding the paper on the wrong side, you dumb bitch" -You look like a burnt marshmallow. -Didn’t really need 4 different jumpscares but thanks anyways -"A forehead like that, I bet you don't have dreams, you'd have movies." -"Girl we don’t have to say shit, everything your doing is already a self roast, the nose ring the brow ring gauges and shaved side head your fucked lady" -Nice pics he/she? 18? When 30 years ago… -U got tits or have they left too like evry guy you slept with -You're nothing if not efficient. -You’re going to be a single mother within a year. -Damn it usually takes 15-20 years of hard drugs and alcohol to look like you girl wtf you been ingesting? -"I've been clean for 22 years. I always say if I can do it ANY ADDICT can. - -​ - -I stand corrected." -Bet you're the prettiest girl from your trailer park. -You have a facial feature of a hemorrhoid -You kinda got that hawkeye from endgame look -You’re a dude lol -You look like even the iron in your period blood has rusted -Don’t let the roast effect your sobriety! Best wishes! -"That haircut already screams ""I hate myself""" -Living in a sober house doesn’t make you hate yourself??? I guess living in Courtney Loves wet dream is a good start. -" No worries, your life is going to get much worse." -Fragile person looking for internet validation. Put your phone down and go handle your shit. -damn those crackhead fingernails tho -Im trying but i cant hate on someone living sober.. im almost 2 years sober. -😂😂😂😂😂 -"Looking at your hair, you can't tell if you want to shave your head and join the Airian Nation or be led around by a leash with your future husband and six kids with that ring in your nose." -Just look in a mirror -You look like one of the bad guy's expendable henchmen in an 80s movie. -"OK Lucy from trailer park boys l, clean your dirty ass room up. I smell it from here." -First time I mistook an eyebrow for a scar.. -"Your face has a permanent “Oops, I just shit myself” look to it." -"You look like The Joker, but with no make-up" -Your face is the billboard for abortion clinics -I'm sorry your father didn't love you -Sees girl with the dragon tattoo once… -Let's be honest. You already do hate yourself. -Quitter -When her pussy smells like Jaxk Daniel's -If you want to stay sober you will want to avoid mirrors. -Do you actually wanna hate yourself? -Hey do you actually wanna hate yourself? -"I don’t know which will happen to you first… - -A proper eyebrow or sex?" -All those different camera angles and you still look like shit -You look like you went to rehab for weed -The reason no nut November exists -100% you've sucked dick for a chicken nugget -Miley Virus -You were born with a Subaru tattoo -"To be fair, i wouldn't want to live sober aswell, if i had your looks. Move out." -You must have caused a lot of problems in school -I could land a plane on your forehead -You look like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. -You have a promising career as an extra in a low budget film as a truck stop waitress. -"Let's start from the basics, are you sure you are female because you look like Draco Malfoy's disowned twin brother" -"""Make me hate myself"" (more I'm assuming) because let's be real, you probably hate yourself enough for the both of us. " -The most generic ass high school emo/mean girl -You'll be dead in a few years so what's the point? -You should also move into a mot-allowed-to-cut-your-own-hair house -You look like you're about to have an AA meating -You’re 18 and already living in a sober house. Your life is over -One you stole my haircut so I hate you and two you look just like the type of girl who I'd be in a really toxic relationship with. -You look like a broken AI version of a borderlands side character -Nice that your dad gave you one of his golf ahirts as a parting gift -Isn't having a face like that bad enough? -Are you sure you’re in a house because you’re definitely not sober. -"So, when di you start school to be a CNA?" -"You live in a sober house, yet still manage to look how a hangover tastes" -"Did you become sober, after deciding on that hairstyle?" -"God damn, if you're going to be living inside that poor house, let it have a fucking drink. Least you could do." -If you here then who's servicing those trucker's at the truck stop? -No. -I'm guessing you probably didn't have custody of your kids before the sober house. -Got sober took a razor too your hair. I need a new toilet brush -"I'm pretty sure your drunk dad already did that for us. To be safe , your kid from 2 years ago will do the job just fine." -I can't. You're hideous enough. -"With the amount of piercings you have, you'll never get to see Joseph Smith. I know you Mormons are big on that." -"Do we really need to make you hate yourself? Look in the mirror, should be enough." -"Looking at that haircut, it appears you already hate yourself" -Who cares about addiction The most important thing is to express yourself.... -"First of all, flip the damn paper around lol🤣" -Guessing the “strong female lead” haircut isn’t working out for ya -"""18f"" You have such shitty follow through and commitment, you can't even make a decent substance abuser." -Looking at your pictures I have yet to figure out whether you’ve ever made a good decision in your life. -Your step-dad is going to be really confused when he sees you wearing his favourite jizz-rag... -I think you might have been given a bad haircut and then felt the need to flock to the feathers or a bird... -You look like you boof caffeine -"Don't tell me what to do, ya druggie b*tch." -You look like the type of person that uses drugs to cure other people’s anxiety -You have permission to continue drinking -You have a job waiting for you with the “don’t do meth” advertising companies. -Sausage fingers -Stay safe ya ginger minger -Don’t worry I was a junkie too. Bjbut I went to prison -You look like a lesbian cat -You are very beautiful to me -You look like you could be one of the punk rockers in an alcoholic lesbian rendition of “Return of the Living Dead”. -you're a former druggie. I think that is self explanatory. No one can make you hate yourself than yourself. Posting this won't help that. -I dont think we can really say much - your short time on this planet seems to already have been useless enough. -You look like you enjoy smelling your own farts -You look like u already hate yourself without the internets help. You look like u would sniff your own farts to reduce gas emissions so u could call your self a radical environmentalist -MRI would win -Harley Shirt with Seman Stains ☑️ AvanteGardePiercings ☑️ HalfShavedHead ☑️ My Tarot cards are informing me that you’re a Taco Bell Employee from the Midwest. Wisconsin Possibly? -Make you hate yourself? We don’t need to do anything for that to happen -When did Kyle Rittenhouse come out as trans? Explains the alcoholism I suppose -"Spherical dick shriveller. It doesn’t matter what angle we’re looking at you from, our genitals all made a shuddering retreat!" -Miley Virus -Have a drink on me boozer -if Miley was on crack -"You shouldn't need us to make you hate yourself, your clearly doing a great job already!" -I hate sex offender jokes because they are overlayed but I looked at your profile and you frequent “suddenly a sex offender “ subreddit??? -"They already made ""Grace Under Fire"". Your reboot is lame." -You look like you think living in a sober house makes you cool -Lesbian Peewee Herman -"Reading your username., get yourself down the naughty knobs clinic ASAP. -It ain't marshmallows it's more likely you gor the galloping clap." -Stay sober -Four pictures and you still couldn’t figure out why the text is backwards -If I looked like you I’d drink too -You look like you were a boy with a mowhawk and just decided Nah Imma be a girl but you didn't want to get a haircut -You look like you were a boy with a mowhawk and just decided Nah Imma be a girl but you didn't want to get a haircut. -How to look like a carpet muncher 101. -u know that one chick from ginny and georgia? -"Don’t think we don’t see the bottle in the mirror. - -Looks like you’re getting evicted." -"Some people would say ""I can fix her"" those who say that must be into cracked out lesbians" -You wrote roast me backwards -Don’t you think ppl would have an easier time reading that if you flipped the images? Or is that what the mirror in the background is for? -We don't need to make you hate yourself... you're doing a fine job all by yourself. -"Shit if I looked like that I’d be strung out too. How long you been sober, 26 minutes? Not that you have anything going for you, but get your shit together. Ok but on serious note, my gfs sister died at 18 from fent and she wasn’t even an addict, you’re too way too young to be dying you haven’t even started you’re real life yet. You only get one life don’t fuck it up." -You look like the female version of Hunter from Ginny and Georgia. -I hope they let you bring your rollerblades -Cheap Miley Cyrus -Looks like you went to the hairdresser and said 'give me that sober house special. Make it extra methy!' -"You hate yourself enough, to end up there 💗 so, no." -"No need, you already do ." -"Once you stay sober for a bit, you'll realize the mistake you made, posting on Roast me. It ain't all about you. I'm 10 years sober. Hopefully, you can move on from a life of self-centernedness and fear." -I’d drink myself silly too if I looked like that -If parental disappointment was a person -One day at a time sweetheart. -Dumbass is holding the paper backwards -Is your mental illness sobering up or you’ve just always wanted to be a man because your feminist circle says life’s easier with a dick? -Take a shower. -"Congratulations, and good luck on your sobriety journey. -I'll be 6 years sober this year, after more than 20 years of active addiction to hard drugs. You can do it! I wish you the best." -"Proud of you, stranger. I hope you're proud of yourself. Where you're at and what you're doing takes a lot of strength. Things will get easier if you let them." -Got sober to have friends. One perc 30 doesn't mean you need sobriety. Find a fake identity elsewhere. -So you’re just as fucked as that haircut -I’m 9 months clean and sober. However if I looked like that I’d start snorting my Dilaudid again. -"A sober house with a wine bottle in the mirror. - -Genius." -Is that a fucking liquor bottle? the green one? -"You keep thinking, just one more piercing and maybe my life will be better." -I think you hte yourself enough! -"You so ugly, even your dildo needs a viagra" -You look like i'd need to take up heroin just to tolerate being in the same room as you -You look like my ex who was not great if someones asking -"Congrats, look at all you've done by 18!" -"Yep, all angles of your head are weird." -You look like you spend your weekends practicing for the day you put on your scrubs and begin that nurse-hoe lifestyle. -Did you quit the drink or did the drink quit you? -"Man I was going to think of something but I am a little too stoned. Man anything better than a day off, no responsibilities so you start your day with a Bloody Mary and a blunt? That’s a good time… well enjoy being too weak to handle that kind of fun!" -Over/under on # of face tattoos in the next 5 years - 3.5 -Why do u want to hate yourself? Youre good -"Don't come to us for a reason to relapse. -You have your parents for that." -You look like you'd smoke anyone's cigarette short -That really sucks for the rest of the house. Id need a drink if I had to look at you every day -I love this subreddit. But I’m not even gonna hate. Good for you. Keep your sobriety -Em tsaor? I have no idea what you want me to do. -Your parents are probably enjoying a vacation from your bullshit. -Can't tell if your dad loved you too much or not enough. -So how many years until your a single mom and drinking again -Why the fuck did you feel like you needed to post 4 pictures? Just one is enough to drive a man to drink. -You know how I know you been ran through? -You have THAT haircut but you couldn't find one gay guy to help you fix/ cut your hair? -I would remove all the mirrors from the building. I would assume that’s a trigger for you. Good luck. -I can't tell if your a guy or a girl because how flat your chest it -You don't need to hate yourself right now. . Stay focused! -"Bah, you're only there to meet the rest of the wrecked lesbians with no future. You feel just at home" -The way you hold that paper is the same way your one night stands hold your underwear. -Do you have a lick- her cabinet? -You look like pennywise with a meth addiction -You look like you sold part of your hair for a pack of cigarettes -It must be a major hit to your game to not be surrounded by drunk people. -None of these pics are good enough for your obituary next year -you season your Chilli with newports -"Captain Mediocre - -A XXX Parody starring Lar Breeson." -You can Smell the chlamydia in these pictures -I lift my glass to your sobriety ! -You were too dumb to even hold the sign correctly... -Shes done sold her eyebrows for a drink. Dont worry theyll grow back. -"Your ear is so Russian and ugly, Ukrainians have had to endure war for two reasons." -You look like Sam McCurdy and Macaulay Culkin had a heroin child together -With that hair cut its clear you don't need help hating yourself -Looks like some substances were smuggled in bc that paper is wrong side lol -18!?!?!?! You look like you have more mileage than a 20 year old truck -"It’s ok girl, anyone can overcome whatever it is you suffer from" -Doesn't look like you were addicted to baths -Cant read that bro -"No roast, congratulations on seeking out help with your addiction. We all wish you well." -Shit u got a boyfriend now? I thought u were a Lesbian seagull. -Know that there is only a 5% chance you will stay sober. Which is precisely 5% higher than the odds of your parents actually meaning it when they tell you they love you. -What's been in you more: a piercing needle or daddy's dick -You look like you stink -You probably hate yourself enough already -“Imagine if ninja got a Low Taper Fade!” -"You look like you lost your V card to a horse, your forehead is almost as big as that ego." -People would be a lot nicer to you if you stop with the weird hair cuts and take the junk out of your face and wear normal earrings. Shoulder length hair would look nice around your face once those bad piercings removed. -you look like u gave head for a crack rock but got rocked instead -"I can fix her. Her eyebrows though, not a chance." -I don’t think we have to try -Why do I have a feeling this post is gonna be your 13th reason -I’d be an addict too if I looked like that -That shirt looks homeless -"You didn't have to let us know you did drugs, we could tell." -Can't even post the note in a way we can read it. A real winner here. -Why does everyone on roastme have so many things dangling out of their nose? Such a distraction from the face! Looks awful -"You sold your eyebrows for that final fix. - -Good on you for being sober. Stay strong." -Miley Virus -No father -Stop it. Get off Reddit and focus on your life. You're beautiful and you will be fine. Don't be wasting time on a hateful place like Reddit x -"You honestly look like if Jojo Siwa, Katy Perry and bald Britney Spears had a baby" -Holy shir people are savage in these comments wtf -Learning camera angles could be your best friend. -No roasting…but wishing you luck on recovery! -I’d say keep your chin up but I don’t think that’s possible. -"Once a drug addict, always a drug addict. -Worthless, undisciplined blight upon society." -Focus on your sobriety….. not a roast just a tip -I can’t imagine what your voice sounds like if it’s even half as annoying as your pictures I will have to shove pencils in my ears to stop the pain -Just pretend I’m a mirror -Time has not been kind to you -I can see why your dad went out to buy cigarettes. -"Been there, better than being 35, 40, 50 living in a sober house!" -Theo Von's dyke sister -i bet your parents are real proud -Jesus Tap Dancing Christ these comments are brutal. Keep it up! -"You look like if Andy Richter fucked a baby into Andy Milonakus and then drank all through his pregnancy. - -I didn’t even realize this was a sub for roasting. This is just what I thought when I saw you." -*38 -When does the next Mad Max film come out? Apocalypse ass haircut. -i hope you heal quickly but girlie 😬 that hair 🥴 -Eye brows on fleek 😂 -Youre 18 and in a sober house -You’re a rockstar. Honestly. There is nothing to feel badly about. -"I can make you uncomfortable. Just have to say something you’ve never heard before like uummm, oh i know. “Im proud of you youre doing great.” 🤷‍♂️🤣😂" -"I'm a retired cop. I'd jump in and roast, but what you are doing getting sober is to important. Stay strong and keep your eyes on the prize." -You mean the manners of Cyrus and Bieber. You look more like the monkey Justin packs on his shoulder. -Nice try but you’re actually 4 Tumblr users in a trench coat -Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were compliments. -I mean you pretty much already do. -*not a roast* you resemble Sam from iCarly -"I don't need to read that bio. The TP roll on your dresser screams ""I'm a PoS!""" -"Do you usually look like shit all trashy like that when you take pictures, or are you just trying to help us roast you???" -"Nope, the damage has already been done." -The real reason you’re quitting drugs is because you can’t afford them and you’re too hideous to suck dick and fuck for them. At least the rooms are safe because nobody sober is going to want to 13th step with you. -"You are what the doctors and nurses show to patience who come for long lasting ererections. One look at your Pic and boom, boner gone." -hard to believe she's already 18. -"Uhh keep drinking darling, atleast until your hair grows back in" -Good luck sweetie. ❤️ -You will be the mistress some 40yr old bangs and keeps telling you he’s leaving his wife……..for three years -Meth detoxes from you. -Perhaps the reason you hate yourself is because you make yourself look like someone you clearly hate. -“I’m like like most girls” -If only there was a way to wean you off your addiction to attention. -A basic glance at your pictures and bio tells me you already hate yourself.......what do you need me for? -You look like you have a dirty microwave -"Calm down Rue Bennett, we get it, you’re edgy." -"I could handle pro 2A, but when you said you wanted to be a cop that just left me thinking you’re a Republican. All I could think is par for the course." -No one should have to make you hate yourself you should have the self awareness to realize you probably aren't recovering from this. -This isn’t a roast but I want to say I’m so proud of you -If Cindy lou who grew up to be the pick me girl in the group of 90s back yard wrestling guys and smoked 2 packs of Newports a day. -That smile says you have a nipple collection in your freezer those eyes say will suck start a mule for methadone -Hopefully you have siblings who aren’t fuck-ups so that your parents don’t feel like complete failures. -"Good for you I’m taking the step this next week to follow sober life. Stay strong. I would be going this week but my dad is afraid my body will shut down. Blood in my cough, and horrible aches. I know you asked for a toast, but from one addict to another, proud for you." -you will never escape addiction trust me -Holy shit Amanda Bynes is sober! -I wanna roast some marshmallows -"The ""roast me"" paper is backwards, just like your life. - -(on a non-sarcastic note, keep up the progress. known alot of Army brothers in a similar boat..keep on fighting)" -I don’t know you -"Not a chance in hell would I roast anyone for living in a sober house, no matter what the age. Sobriety is fucking amazing. You’re awesome." -Idk what's a bigger mess you or your room. -"You are very pretty and hope you take care of yourself and grow to love what you see in the mirror, Jesus loves you ❤️" -"A sober house for pussy eating withdrawal? Your going to move into a trailer with your boyfriend? When did she transition? I bet your pussy smells like burger king wrappers and piss. You hair looks like your ""boyfriends"" pussy hair after you throw up on it after a night of pin your nose on the pussy." -"Y'all chill she 18yrs old, at least congratulate her for trying, keep it up thing will turn out good!! What's your chime I'm sending money to you" -Aw yes 18 and living in a sober house must be fun to finally live on your own for the first time can’t say that about your 28 year old roommate tho F that poor bastard lol -"You don’t need anyone to make you feel bad your already your worst enemy! Quit the bottle and find a hobby, job, friend anything but being a drunk will get you nowhere in life." -Miley Cirus from Wishdotcom -"> I support the second amendment and am going to move into a trailer with my bf after sober living. - -This looks a lot like the path to becoming an addict, but good luck." -"In all seriousness, at least you’re not by yourself and instead in a supportive environment to better yourself <3 proud of you boo" -"Sober living looks good on you, septum piercing...not so much." -You look like a product of Miley cyrus and methy Justin Bieber -You look like a lesbian not by choice -"You look a lot like my dead ex gf. She also did the sober house shuffle. - -You think you're smart, but you'll probably end up dead. - -Not kidding. Quit doin that shit now is all I can say. -I spent over ten years on oxy and then heroin/fentanyl, only reason I'm alive is being set down in in prison for a few years." -They should rename this sub “The faces of BPD” -No ones gunna hate you more than your future kids who I assume you’ll start spitting out from various junkie dads before you hit 21 -"Sober.. Son Of Bitch Everything's Real? If you don't do a 4th you'll drink a fifth -I'd rather have a bottle Infront of me , than a frontal lobotomy. Let me help you with your steps, we'll start with 13.. I can't stand quiters! Stop. Sober living? Just say no!! -🤪😛" -How long until you join the military and then get out and cut hair at Super Cuts? -You look like your pussy stinks and every guy that has been with you was probably gay -Lesbian community still has to decided where you belong -Do you have a tattoo with fruits and a worm ? -*you* might be a former emo but your hair still is one -"Why the fuck do they always have nose piercings? It’s either someone that has mutilated their face with metal, or some skank promoting onlyfans…" -Addict turned EMT no foreseeable problems there -"I'm not sure which leaves less of an impression... you or that marker. - -I'm wondering if the person your mom saw at the women's clinic 18 years ago started cutting hair afterwards, because there's clearly a theme of partially finished work. - -I know, I know, bold of me to assume you both didn't try it yourselves." -Hey been down that path at 32 male. Make the most of it and learn as much as you can. Your life may turn around like mine did. You got the looks for dayz just follow it up with some essence. And a dash of love ❤️. -"Nah, you're prettier than Miley Cyrus, so she'd be the meth version of you." -Did you drink before writing on that papper or is it just because you blond ? -"I know a girl that just came out of a sober house named Nicole. She got out and made a few friends, but now she's dead. Sooooo That's awkward. Let's change the subject. -Just admit it. you'd look better as a boy." -Shaving the sides of your head is basically unforgivably trashy. Models can do it if they have a bazillion dollar haircut. No one else can get away with this and not look like an absolute scumbag. -She looks like she wears boxers with the dick hole in them -"You look like Miley Cyrus’s inbred cousin, Millie." -do some weed and fent and why tf u missing hair on ur side -You have the physical appearance of someone who makes terrible decisions and you’ll struggle to scrub those stains from your life for a very long time -you look like Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber fucked and dropped the baby off at the nearest group home -She has a mullet..Im not messing with that!! Nuff said -It looks like you already do Joe Dirt -Even if you can pull off a nose ring—/ don’t— which you can’t- cause you’re ugly and kinda gay -"Damn, those 18 years have been pretty rough. I thought you were a mid-30s waitress at a truck stop." -You look 40 -You look like when family guy makes fun of lesbians -Who lied to you and said you like like Miley / Justin Bieber lmfao. More like jojo C-word on crack -Druggie lesbian aspiring to be a LADC? Jesus Christ you and this post is so vanilla and predictable -female? i thought ur a man fucking transgender fucking 1 dollar hair cut u literally went to the barbers btc -"There isn’t a chance in hell of you staying sober. Look at yourself, that hair cut those piercings your whole thing screams I WANT ATTENTION. I feel bad for the kids you won’t raise correctly, Lil Cayden and Kourtney with a K. The best you can hope for is to find someone 15-20 years your elder to take care of you and deal with your bullshit. If Mr. Yuck had a wife you would be her in 8 years and 12 OD’s." -wit yo big @ forehead get outta her former emo. (ps: i’m really sorry for being mean! your so pretty!!) -“Why would people throw every thing away on heroin?” With you there are no questions why. I get it 🙌 -"DAMN WOMAN i was falling asleep but just woke up forget your EMT OR LADC dream be a fucking alarm clock and send them a picture to test the product and then you can invest in a haircut and a clean up cause GOD DAMN our house is fuglier than u honey and that's saying something and is that a tickle me elmo cause just cause his name is ¨tickle me doesnt mean u can finger him or make him finger your dark dry ass pu$$y that hasn't been touched since your 3 year old child checkup who the doctor who saw that is probably still in therapy from seen that hellish nightmare AND GIVE HE DAMN HOMELESS MAN BACK HIS MOTHERFUCKIN SHIRT and dont say former emo cause BITCH YA STILL ARE - -THanks and good night sorry if your dented head cant comprehend this many words. (i would get that balding checked out too)" -This just backs up my theory of the stereotypical lesbian look existing! -you seem like you're living in 2008 -You look like a non binary Walmart mechanic -"I’ve thought of multiple different things to post but, you’ve already given yourself a self burn. Those are rare. Congratulations." -"18f and In sober living - -2 YeArS LaTeR… - -20f and in a coffin" -We can’t be fooled all of us can see you’re in a sleezy motel making money for your habit -"No thanks I’m not comfortable roasting someone in recovery -You got this" -Girl you look like a high cocaine using bitch and left school when u was 14 and toke drugs and meth and homless as shit -Stop being an absolute loser looking to be roasted on Reddit and sort your life out. -If the ghost in 'THE NUN' had a girl child 😂 -You cum marshmallows?! Normally that would intrigue me and I would want to taste. In this case I hate to tell you the marshmallow fluff falling out of your pussy is a bunch of guys cum mixed with yeast. -You look like a ..a big choo choo train. -"Welp I guess 4/5 of your personality traits came to play today. Hi generic, woke,......, tik toc, lesbian. What's the message no one wants from the echo chamber today. I'm sorry due to budget cuts and unfortunately circumstances, we have merged feminist's responsibilitits with woke, so please welcome our new hire depression." -You look like you'll be using they/were pronouns soon -Saying you support the 2nd amendment in the same sentence as you state that you are going to move in to a trailer park with Bf is the kind of DV/murder foreshadowing that white trash tell people with pride. Enjoy your Floridan future. -i love this new wave of kids speedrunning recovery to have a story -"I don’t need to. The next 20 years of alcohol, being a shared wife with your second husband’s coworker, and a brief career at dollar tree is going to do that to you for me." -"So how that, “doing it my way” working out for you so far." -It would be hard to be sober with that face. -"Hair so sticky, must have lost it to Spiderman" -"I'm at a loss for words, obviously she is just trying to attract sympathy and hook up with some sucker to pay her way thru life I had similar experience with a bitch named Michelle in a Sober house in Rochester she constantly was hitting me up for money or goods and never once gave anything in return with the exception of gonorrhea" -Can’t make you hate yourself more than you already do -"There's a mirror there, use it. That should work." -Eat your shit and post here -You look like you give really cheap blowjobs -You look like you are single by choice of other people. -If Dr Seuss characters did meth... -Your dad seems loving. -Are u a woman? -comment -Was your face drawn by a racist 6 year old in the 1940's? -I am now cured of my Asian fetish 👌 -You look like a ghost that haunts Panda Express. -You look easy to draw.. -You're one cup size away from being considered a breast cancer survivor -To be fair all your photos look dumb -That last photo confirmed you are flat from face to toe. -Your genetic pool is smaller than your field of vision -You look like Mark Zuckerbergs wet dream -You look like you masturbate to documentaries. -The only woman to leave a bukakke party cum-free -You look like the kid that Angelina Jolie would adopt. -"You have a case of resting ""Squid Games contestant"" face." -You were born with your facial features on mute -You look like the gender swap of glen from the walking dead -Shouldn’t you be studying instead of being on Reddit ? -I turn now good luck everybody else -Fourth pic you're looking like you wish you were lady not ladyboy -It looks like you're watching yourself urinate. -Gay - Sha -"Good of you to check ""shrinkage"" after that dip in the water " -Last picture looks like an album cover from a rapper who's been convicted and prosecuted for pissing in parks -Mantis from guardians of the galaxy -I like the last picture particularly because you can’t see your face -You can keep looking but you ain't gonna find any tittie's down there. -I'm 40 bald and kinda overweight... And I would still say no. -I think sum ting wong with her face -The most Asian to ever asian -"Hey, look, a meh-rmaid." -You look like a mannequin from the boys section came to life. -Two wongs don’t make a white -"Hey look! An Asian that ended up at UGA. Her parents must be so disappointed. ""Your bradda going to be dacta. You be librarian""" -You look like you successfully escaped from the SHEIN factory -That face flatter than a McDonald's hamburger -Yucko Ono -That’s cute that the sloth from zootopia learned how to use Reddit. -You can’t love long time -Gurl if u dont already know sorry but my gaydar is going off! -U look like you’re allergic to life -"Last picture confirms. If we were stranded on an island, I could make a raft out of you" -They must've used you to model the grudge -Loastme -To be one with the water one must first pee in the water -You look like the guy from SOAD videoclip Aerials -"I prefer the last picture to be honest, the shadow makes me see less of you." -You look like the Asian version of the inbred banjo kid from The Deliverance -When did you transition? -"Your friends are full of it. They all look dumb. In fact, you look dumb. =)" -"If someone ever asked if you were attractive, the only honest response would be “She doesn’t have enough of a face, or facial features, to answer that”." -Bone structure of Gumby deep space 9 Odo looking! -Woody Allen has entered the chat... -You could legit be a character from „Thomas the tank engine” with that round-ass face -Your left eye is Japanese and your right eye is Korean -Are you a ladyboy? -"I have a thing for Asian girls.... well I did, thanks for curing me!" -please dont climb through my tv -Bobby Lee? -I find it so wierd when guys wear bikinis -She's the villian from the abyss -18F to M! -Roast Me: Which roast-a Hiroshima or Nagasaki? -Ummm thats a dude -I didn’t know Hobbits came in Asian as well -I would roast you but I don’t think you could read the comment -"Chasing parked cars. -Ouch." -You have smart friends. -AI generated image of what it would look like if Agent Orange fucked a Hiroshima survivor -"Your friends aren't wong, - -You might be." -You've been spending way too much time on leg day. And not nearly enough on chest day. -You could fit another face between your eyes -"Well, there goes my Asian fetish." -You look like a transitioning Arthur Aardvark -You’re the reason “OneChild” was implemented -Lady Boy vibes. -You look 8 years old 🥲 -"It does look dumb, but don’t worry, it fits in the set." -"The last picture doesn't look dumb, but it looks masculine as fuck. Like you're waiting for pee to shoot out your penis!" -Your friends are right. -Well ur ripped so just beat them up 😂 -Someone thought it would be funny to put a bra on Drift wood. -Looks like a character off of the movie “Bug’s Life” -You look like the model they based Baby Yoda on. -You look like you work at Panda Express on a Native American reservation. -Last photo looks like a scene from a video game. GRAND THEFT OCEAN? -"Last photo makes you look like a really awesome dude, the v-taper is incredible" -"You’re a carpenters dream, flat and never been nailed." -What in the alien elf fuck?! -You're so bland even MSG can't help  -You look consistently dumb in all of them. -"Stop looking down, we don't know where your titties went either." -"What’s up lidless! Except I’ll refer to you as Lids. Given the fact that people are nicknamed the total opposite of how they appear. Like how fat guys are nicknamed Tiny? Yeah, so Wsup Lids! You look like the type of south Asian the whites wouldn’t even adopt. You have a very lackluster face.. just unamused and unbothered. I mean damn your shitty smirk of a smile even seems forced. But at the same time you’ve got this crippling “Rambo” style PTSD through the eyes of the Vietcong that’s triggered everytime you hear the word…. “Hi”. All you see/hear is raiden hats, explosions, and ""YEEEEIEIEIEIHHH’s"" ! I thought eyebrows were there to HELP with facial expressions…? Yours serve no purpose at all. No wonder why they look like they’ve been regularly shaved. It’s like your face is saying … “Meh”. You literally look like the doll the village girl looses in Mulan. “A girl worth fighting”….. Headass!" -Nice to see the kid from 'System of a Down - Ariels' all grown up -If your eyes were any farther apart they would be closer together -Nice abs -You look like a blossoming gymrat in the last photo (that was supposed to be a compliment) -Kim Jong Ew -Hi. Im bobby mom!! 😑 -You look extremely easy to draw. -I cant belive I finally saw how the typicall japanese ghosts looked as a human -"these comments are brutal, hope the girl realised she's in the Roast Me subreddit and not in a Selfie one." -"Roast you? In the words of DJ Khaled, “God did!”" -You are already cooked -I have really bad taste in women and I think you’re hot. -She built like a salamander -I will not roast when a stir fry is clearly called for. -"Woman and Asian. You're really not meant to drive -( Just kidding, no offense, I myself am asian )" -Did your parents pick your name by throwing pots and pans down the stairs? -Board? You certainly have the proportions. -Yall are merciless. So the one in the pic who posted this… what your pic/post tells me is that you’re super confident in yourself and you can take the heat of the folks on here being “mean”. Hats off to you. I couldn’t do it. I’d be over analyzing all my faults with every post someone wrote about me if I did this. #StrongWoman! -"Why you no have eyebrows? - --everyone - -And why you no doctor yet? - --your parents" -You don’t have friends bitch stop lying. -"Is ur pussy REALLY sideways??? -Just asking bc I really don't know..." -"I’d look you in the eye when I roast you, but I can’t figure out which one to look at" -Don't wear hats you look late 30’s -The Kraken rises from the depths of Royal China Kitchen! -Your face is so smooth like a burn victim. -I didn't like your performance in the grudge 2004 -Your eyes have more volume than your chest… -Why do you have a bikini on young man? -My opinion of the last photo is the same as the first three….they all look dumb. -Last photo looks like you’re contemplating drowning yourself and putting your friends out of their misery. -I choose to believe AI put a grey space alien in a bikini… because the alternative is too scary. -"You're the equivalent of chorizo sausage from Walmart when it comes to white guys dating Asian women. - -Exotic looking, mildly spicy, but overall disappointing when you take the wrapper off (see last picture)." -Me duck you long time -Asa Akira without makeup -"2 things. - -It's good to have friends that are honest and secondly, at least 3 families could move in and live comfortably on that five-head." -ET -You have as much flavor as a soy bean. I’d be bored with myself too -I haven't gotten such creepy vibes since I saw the movie The Ring -You will never distribute anything to the world and you will fall behind everyone pathetic -What’s that movie? With that monster thing in the barn?? Is it Splice? Yeah… you’re Splice -Less than an hour and she got wrecked!! -What was it like working with Harrison Ford? -"The second picture has you keeping one eye on your wonton soup, the other on your fat brother" -18F closseyed -“The summer I turned pretty” never happened for you did it? -Your friends probably just jealous of your tiny tits -The last photo should not be singled out for looking dumb ... because it looks dumb*er ...* -I thought sex dolls were supposed to be more lifelike these days... -Your face looks like it was run over -They are right -"you have the body of a teenage boy. - -If you were Mulan, no one would've ever figured out you were female" -Asian Bella Ramsay is that you? -More photos like the last one -Is that last picture a picture of your boyfriend? -You are hot af! -Your eyebrows give chemotherapy -You only see half bodies of people -You look like you lack discipline. -Wear the bikini more often…. -You’re OF account has no subscribers -"Based on pic#4 we know that you’re a mermaid disowned by the sea people, and now we have to be burdened by you living amongst us." -"You look like an extra from the movie, the dark Crystal" -Don't listen to your friends. All of your photos look dumb -First pic looks like you have some sort of mental disability. -"Don't believe your friends, the last photo is the only one of the bunch that makes you look even mildly interesting." -I swear God is just getting fucking lazy with the humans he’s making now. -"I'm glad your friends can act as seeing eye dogs for you, you clearly can't see shit!" -"Someone put ""Thai ladyboy"" into the AI prompt." -You look like you’ve been in a fight -"Had you been born in the ww2 era , your father would have happily kamikazed himself in the guise of patriotism" -"First pic ok -Second pic ok -Third pic cute -Fourth pic damn those abs youre not a girl you a MAN!" -"You look like the guy from the ""Aerials"" music video by System of a Down." -"Absolutely disrespectful behavior, you all should be ashamed. Leave Young Hoe the heck alone!!!" -The last ones dumb? There all dumb -Out here looking like Mona Risa -me rike beach bery much -Those abs are amazing 😻 -You look like those ai shopping bots in japan -Pretty bad when you run into a wall and break your pubic bone before your nose or chest ever touches the wall. -You look like Olive Oyl came to life. -Her name is Ug Lee Ho -Looks like you are checking down and realizing the cold effects of shrinkage are true -"If you were the last woman on earth, every single man would turn gay and you’d die a virgin!" -I respect all people even if they are ladyboys -I bet her credit score is just as high as her car insurance bill -You look like that blue avatar that’s gone through chemo and lost his colours. -You look like short round gained 50 pounds during the filming of Indiana Jones -Damn if I make a racist Asian joke then I’ll roast myself too since I’m Korean -I think you misspelled board. Perfectly describes you. -Doing everything to maintain the stereotypes that Asians women have tea bag tits. -You look like a 3rd grader tried to copy a Leng Jun painting. -No more Yankee my wankey the donger needs food -Remember when that dude said “You look easy to draw!” -I’m surprised they let you off work at the sweatshop early -Use the last photo to be rosted on p0rn subreddits too. -The last photo looks like your disappointed with your penis -No it's the 3rd one BBBRRUUUHHH your MUM and dad related????? -I thought the comments were a bit too truthful until I realised it was Roast me -You look easy to draw -You grease those abs up with the butter from your face? -Very artsy kudo on the abs I’m jealous lol fyi I know it’s not a roast but it’s my honest opinion -Hard body though -These are great burns. She never seen them coming -"🎶""WE GOTTA CELEBRATE OUR DIFFERENCEEESSS! -Ching Chong ching chong, ching. Ching chong ching chong ching!"" 🎶" -You look like you work in the same lab you were made in. -"I can't tell if you smoke weed, need some sleep, or some catholic priest got semen in your eyes again" -"Came here for the forehead roasts... - -Stayed for the rest of 'em!" -At least you know they def love you for your personality -Looks like negan used an ugly stick instead of a bat on this one -"Last photo is very nice but, now where's my dog at?" -You’re bathing suit top is pulled too close together in the last pic -Nice abs 👌 -WHY YOU NOT DOCTOR YET!? -"The funny part was where you claimed to have friends. - -That last picture looks like you don't quite understand how water works yet." -Bro I think mulan is having an allergic reaction -Are you stoned or are those just your eyes -It looks like you are trying to flex your abs -"""The Least of Us""" -She’s ab-chested… -Last photo: Cute and nice tone! -Sure you’re not Brock Lesnar’s half Asian daughter? Because your shoulders look like they belong to a quarterback -Yeah it's kinda shallow. You're tying to be edgy but it comes across as awkward to someone that's logical. I like your confidence that shows when you look at the cam or when your face is fully viewable. Keep practicing and try doing a complete black out silhouette vs lowlight with colors form your clothes showing in edgy photography. -Returning the fish smell to the sea! Great example of sustainability! ☮️ ✌️ -"Lying there holding the sign, you look like you’re auditioning for a Netflix series called Chronically Underwhelming. That pose says, “I’ve given up, but I want you to notice.”" -"That sweatshirt is doing all the heavy lifting, and it’s still failing. You look like you walked into a store, asked for the “unwashed college student starter pack,” and walked out with that outfit and a free pack of ramen. The smirk? It’s not mysterious—it’s “I just farted and I think I got away with it.”" -Um why are ALL the “roasts” racially motivated? We don’t see this type of behavior towards other posters of different ethnicities. It’s almost like the only thing you guys can say about her is that she’s Asian with Asian features. Another example of how racism against Asians are wayyyy too normalized. -The photo doesn’t look dumb. You do. -"Does your neck only work in ""askew mode.""" -"Your face looks like you just stepped off a UFO, went to the nearest dollar store, and purchased a black Asian woman wig. -How’s blending in with humanity been going for -You?" -"NGL, I thought she was one of those CPR dummies." -When did you start transitioning?? -Wow.... each of your eyes are in different zip codes -I've got nothing. -"girl you gorg. - - - - - - - -jk you not gorg you look like chicken" -"i don't think this letter ""F"" has to do with anything on the picture" -blud looks like my left butt cheek -This is extremely disrespectful. Take pictures with your eyes open next time. -Dude you look like this emoji 🌝 -You have a nice body 😜 -Do you still show up when someone plays that tape on a VCR? -Nice abs -The last photo looks depressed more than anything else. No wonder really since you are looking down and still seeing nothing there. -ET bat from Wuhan -"Minus fifty thousand social credits and three generations of hard labor for the family of whoever had the lack of self respect to smash you… Also, how in the fortune cookie FUCK did you manage to find your phone, access this app, find the subreddit, and post this with those coin slots you call peepers?! If you joined China’s special alympics, they might actually stop being fourth, third, or fuck even second hand losers to MURICA! It’s not your fault though, your parents probably loonie toon frying panned your face when you got a 99% on your multiplication tables test at two months old. By the way, would that consider being wacked or woked in your situation?" -I call BS on you having a friend. -OMG...its Julian Lennon! -Man get yo big hero six looking ass out of here...Bro you look like a blobfish 💀 flat face ahh hobbit you look like severus Snape you slurpee drinkin ahh clown ahh ugly ass chigga....I know u ain't wearing that goofy ass Atlabta Braves hat you don't even support them you go for the overpriced stadium food...you're the type of person to climb over a glass wall to see what's on the other side bro why are you at the beach when you can go to the aquarium isn't that where blobfish get held in captivity you clownfish cartoon ass character of a person. -Now the fish really smell like fish -Where's your eyebrows -Kim jong ugly -Do you need glasses your squinting -Ladyboy. -Get back to work on my Nikes -You look like a used cum rag that wasn’t washed well but still wants to be a mail order bride from temu… -"Your eyes say that your Dad may also be your Grandpa, and your last photo is your best because your face is not visible." -"Ik the point is to roast, but dang those breakfast rolls you call abs have been roasted well enough" -The last photo looks dumb. -My Temu order isn't gonna pack itself. Get back to work! -You absolutely adorable. So beautiful! God bless the parents who made you! -You look dumb -You're too gorgeous to be a man. -"With yo, ""Take me to your leader"", lookin' ass...when they let you out of area 51? - -You look like if someone grabbed a cat by the ears and pulled its face back. - -You look like you're from the original beetle juice - -I hope no one feeds you after midnight, no late night showers either you lil gremlin. - -Every body just stop being mean to her, she obviously just survived a fire and it clearly ruined her face! - -You look like if G'force was a person. - -Edit: that last picture tho..🎶 Umpa Lumpa doopity dash..you might be ugly..but I would still SMASH!🎶" -You look like one of the terrible choices I’m forced to play in a Star Wars game when the character creator lacks any good options or sliders -"the answer for when you ask your instructor why she calls you grasshopper and her response is ""because you ugly and look like insect.""" -Your face is so perfectly round that scientists can calibrate their instruments on it. -"For 49 years old, not horrible" -Who left that pancake on that couch -Tits of a ten year old chubby boy -You look like Auqaman as a young boy. -"Why yall coming for her race, tho. 🙄 girl you too cute, and I can tell you, young, how old are you pushing 16 or 17? Where your momma" -It doesn’t look any dumber than the 1st 3 -Last picture giving main character vibes -I’d hit it … with a brick…. It seems nature already smashed it. -Grandpa already roasted your family tree in the 40s. -comment -You look like you'd start a fight in the car immediately after any social event ever. -You look like a dog who gets bought its own plane ticket. -"23 my ass! I bet you have many Live, Laugh, Love embroidered pictures up and 20 year old kids called Mason and Tanner." -I bet your husband is using all his accounts to roast you right now -I don’t want any essential oils. Thanks. -Did you turn 23 20 years ago? You look like an MLM hun in her 40s. -You're the most 38 year old looking 23 year old I've ever seen. -"That's because he wants us to tell you all the things he wants to say but can't be honest about. Clearly a man of desperation, he's on the right track here. - -If your husband sees this... blink three times if you're in need of help." -"Bet your kids' names are Jaxon, Brinlee, and Eighmeigh-Leigh or some stupid shit." -Melissa Joan Heartworm -Mean girl in highschool who peaked as a cheerleader who was at the bottom of the pyramid at games. -"So, this husband, is he in the room with us right now?" -"Hey, say hi to Kermit for me!" -You look like you sigh during sex -You look like you spend 45 minutes putting on makeup to use the McDonalds Drive Thru. -Is that a decorative wooden plank? -"That is a Hard 23 jfc. -you look like a 35 year old lunch lady." -Being the best looking barmaid in Wolverhampton does not make you hot. -You look like your husband is in his 60s -Your husband is currently in the process of divorce while reading these comments 😄 🤣 -Your husband is an unlucky man. -I had a dog that had that same haircut... -You look like you got one crazy eye and one lazy eye but they got together and and worked out some kinda deal to get through it -Walmart Nicole Kidman -"Grey interior, yoga pant wearing, Stanley cup drinking long face MF" -This is the most surprised I’ve ever been to not find an OF link in the bio -"You look like you call the cops on black people who ""act suspicious"" when you ask them why they're in your neighborhood." -She's definitely stopped reading by now... but her husband has this page saved on his home screen for sure lol -"23 and married? Don't worry, the 2nd marriage is usually the one that lasts the longest." -Oh he for sure watches porn behind your back. -"Tell your husband thanks for fucking up this sub," -I can tell by your nose that youre overweight -You would or have shanked a bitch over a Stanley cup. -"This is the face of a woman who calls her kids ""littles""" -Trailer park Barbie. -You look 40 - Christina Rotten-Applegate. -23? Those are all city miles. -"He's only gauging interest to see if you have potential for OnlyFans, you do not." -If “unenthusiastic handjob” was a picture -"23? Life has literally pulled no punches, judging by your nose" -"Nighttime routine: - -Burn skin off in scalding hot bath - -Find a Netflix show to turn on to drown out feeling that your husband is no longer attracted to you - -Creep through a variety of pretty girls’ instagrams wishing she could look like them - -Pick acne for 20 minutes in the mirror after going pee" -"Look, you're still attractive for your 40s, you don't have to lie about your age" -"""Husband""? We all know there ain't one. Get that fake ass Temu ring off." -Unenthusiastic handjob instructor -She says the n word -Even your husband knows you are a starter wife that's why he got you that throw away ring. -Melissa Joan Fart -You look like a girl that gets cheated on a lot. -Does your husband live in your hair.. -Smart of you to not include your husbands age. We all know you were to young to marry him legally. -You are already boring and annoying and you haven't even spoken yet -"Tacky ring, off grey mono colored decor, caked on makeup. There's hardly anything worth roasting, you're the most basic type of boring cookie cutter person there is." -From the looks of you I bet your husband is curious too -Is your husband doing one of them long game fuck a pig challenges? -You and your dog have the same haircut -"Can’t do worse than your husband already did, rip." -That rings nearly as loose as your taint. -Religious sex must be so boring. At least he's got a good target above your eyebrows. -"Wow, he knows reddit at 86 yo ?" -You look like you would yell at the Starbucks chick for not spelling your name right -Great just what we need on our sub... another TROPHY WIFE! Too bad your husband got LAST PLACE in life. -Looks like your husbands already done his worst! -Its the Grinch that stole Prada -Are you the well-groomed shih tzu that took first place at the American Kennel Club Championship? -Oh Jesus Christ. I know this lady. She’s from Oregon. 😂 -I’m not good at these nor understand why people even do them. You remind me of a girl I used to work with at a houlihans who was an absolute sweetheart and one of my favorite people there. I hope these rude fuxks don’t hurt you too bad. -"Husband = 80+ year old, wealthy, excited to buy you gifts. You can’t wait for him to die. Amirite?" -Your husband has no standards and you have bad taste. The only thing positive thing you've done is save two other people from misfortune. -"You look like you sold out women so you could continue being an oppressed live, laugh, love decorator." -"It looks like the rest of your face is running away from your forehead. - -If your husband won the bet, would you have to sign the divorce papers?" -Ahhh. We finally see the best Wish has for mail order brides. -You look like you buy an enormous amount of fall decor that your husband despises -"OP looks like her crowning achievement is having 7 children, all of which have a name ending in -eigh…" -"Yall are brutal 😂 for context yes, I’m a 23 yo mom to a 1 year old, married to my husband (24m) for 3 years together for 9, and I’m a real estate agent. Thankful for this humbling experience 🤗 always remember to live, laugh, love and a starbies a day keeps the haters away 😇" -Fingers so fat she fat fingered a 2 instead of a 4 -Is this your payback getting roasted for burning him with the STI? -Is mayo too spicy for you? -A bad case of “Shitzu hair” -You look like you want to start a fight over why a pillow was on the wrong side of the bed -Your husband baited you to have us tell you all the things that he feels about you -Now we know why theres such a long waiting list for cancer patient hair donations... -That is definitely a fat-girl hand. Your husband should bet you to find a treadmill -Your husband is a real one! Tell him thanks for taking one for the boys and marrying the fugly chick!!!! -I bet that piece of wood above your hand has more personality AND youth than you -Zip up sweatshirt......definitely a big girl -Relationship advice: He's fishing for more reasons to divorce you. Start shopping now. You won't look 35 for much longer. -Complains that it’s hot complains that it’s cold when when really it’s her temper we’re talking about -"Your hairstyle screams ‘I get my hair done at the PetCo grooming station’. They tell you good girl, pat you on the head and send you away with a milk one between your teeth." -"You look like you were 23, 23 years ago." -I can tell you’ve made many men very unhappy in your lifetime -"That's a rough 43, use some filters and makeup next time, save our eyes some pain" -23? Dyslexia sucks. -You look like a golden retriever 🐕 -"Seems like your husband already did his worst, should we really?" -You wrote 32 wrong. Still not 100% on the F yet. -Looks like she would blow her friends dad just to get even. -You wear your hair like that to look young. But you're not. Stop it. -he got the internet to tell you everything that's been weighing on him for so long... Smart guy -Somehow your forehead is still taller than your hair -Look: it’s the cockatiel from the tv show Baretta -You look like one of those show dogs that can jump over barrels and hold one paw up. -"you look like you thought you’d be the exception to the rule and everyone would fawn over you. rly you’re just a basic bitch, who thinks she’s quirky." -You overcompensate with that ring the same way guys overcompensate with their lifted trucks -You look 43. -your dog is a Lhasa Apso -You're 23???? -More hair than brains. -None of the extensions match. -We have Ariana grande at home -Jojo Siwa if she ever stopped dressing like a fancy pool noodle and started dressing like a fancy new poodle -You look like the worst kind of Disney adult -your haircut is stupid. Thats the best i got. -Look like desperate. Put the smile away. Maybe you look better -You practice deep throat with your hair. -It looks like you were too lazy to do a good job scraping the popcorn off the ceilings. -23? These are City Miles in Bangladesh. -What does your rae dunn budget look like? -Garth Brooks just wants you to take the heat off him for a while -"Married and 23? Tell your future ex-husband, ""Thanks for your service."" Now, get back to those ""Hand-crafted"" Live. Laugh. Love. signs that you have to put up." -You look like you would pay us to subscribe to your OnlyFans -"Why do I feel like you adopted your personality straight from Alicia Silverstone in Clueless? Every conversation must be like nails on a chalkboard to anybody unfortunate enough to hear the drawn out inflections of every word you end your sentences with. - -“Like oh my gaawwwd.” You reading the comments" -Your forehead looks 23 but rest of your face looks 43. -"Your husband has a gambling addiction, and terrible luck. A bad combination. The moissanite on your burly ring finger was the giveaway." -your husband wants us to say what he’s afraid to -You will have jowls in 7 years -Did your husband marry you for a bet? Hope he got a huge payout! -"We’ll tell you what he won’t … Yes, you look fat in that outfit. 🚀" -"You made this post here to promote your onlyfans, but we all know you like cakes better then money" -I smell the cheap perfume through the phone. -What kind of rats do you have living in that nest? -"You spelled ""32"" backwards. Typical blonde." -Kermit the Frog bet you that? -You look 23 goin on to 37 -I thought you were a wannabe 20 year old 40 year old mom.. -Kinda weird for a 23 year old to go for the MILF look -You look like a 38 year old mother of 4 homesteader PTO secretary who is about to verbally harass a 6 year old playing soccer -"She made this post in this sub alright, but probably denied her husband sex all week." -You look like you like to shove multiple thumbs up your asss -Pregnancy clearly sucked the life out of you. -23 going on a very used 35? I see you got the halo setting engagement ring deal…. That’s a piss poor way of saying look at this small ass rock on my finger surrounded by little rocks to give the illusion of a being bigger than it really is. You’re not fooling anyone. -You look like you cause problems everywhere you go with your husband. -Your husband just wants to see us say to you all the shit he wants to say to you. I'm not doing the work for that lazy prick. Tell him to man up and do it himself. -you're 23??? damn your not gonna age well -Meghan Trainwreck -I'm 23 and you look like you could be my mom... -DAMN...baby spice fell off hard from the Spice Girls -Cindy Ew Ew Ewsville -When you're 23 but also a 68 year old washed up country music singer -"23 going on 43. You already look like you are dropping off 10 kids to soccer practice after your half box of morning wine. And yes, before you ask, you can talk to my manager." -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->I’m a lover of life. Give gratitude for life everyday. I’m a peaceful warrior and suffer from chronic pain but life continues to show it’s well worth it! Hobbies include flow arts mainly contact staff and I play rocket league, I use foot pedals and a wolverine controller. I do pour paintings as well and love to hike mountains. I got injured on the job snowboarding, a skier collided with me, I broke my neck, paralyzed my right arm (TBPI), suffered a spinal cord injury (SCI) called brown sequard syndrome, traumatic brain injury (TBI). I had many surgeries but the one that brings the most attention is my amputation. I chose to amputate my own hand for a taska prosthetic because my hand was completely useless and I got the chance to be part cyborg so I couldn’t pass that up! I got injured at the start of 2021 and spent 3 months in a wheelchair rehabbing and getting strength back to walk again and now I’m running it’s truly a miracle. ->Check out my Instagram and TikTok @chiefonepaw I single handedly deserve a follow 🤚 -> ->https://www.instagram.com/chiefonepaw?igsh=eWd5cnZpb3g1cTJu&utm_source=qr -> ->https://www.tiktok.com/@chiefonepaw?_t=8kuOdjTNZpD&_r=1 - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -You said no girlfriend but what I think you meant was you and your girlfriend are permanently separated. -I was thinking of something to clever to write but I guess we are both stumped. -I’ve seen bigger wings at kfc -Bro out here stealing all the good parking spaces -You look like something I’ve drawn with my left hand. -Face 8/10. Body 7/10. Hands 1/2. -Lost it in a high speed masturbation accident. -It's the six dollar man. -"Hold on a fucking minute. I have questions that need answering. - -1. That's your actual hand there in a glass box? They let you keep it!? - -2. Is that a chain with a little hammer on the end on the glass box? Is this a ""break glass in case of emergency"" situation?" -How the fuck does your hair grow on your shoulders instead of your armpits? -If you're happy and you know it...... -You have Michael Jackson nipples but missing the hand to Beat It -"I can’t even roast you, dude. You have your own hand in a display case?! That’s badass." -You look like you got jammed coming out of the printer -Take my strong hand -"You keep your own hand in a plastic bag? - -What, did you think you didn’t scare girls enough already?" -"Really committed to that Jaime Lannister role at community college. - -Edit: spelling" -Joe jonas is looking rough these days -“The suspect has been disarmed.” -I think god has roasted you enough -Lets give him a round of applause -Now you will never conduct The New York Philharmonic… but you could still play drums for Def Leppard. -"I ain’t gonna roast you bro. The internet is fucked. - -Mind I ask, what caused your disability? It looks like a motorcycle accident if I had to guess." -Doesn't have a job because he's NSFW. -You’re half the man you used to be -You must have taken quite a wrist to post here. -When they said “if you keep playing with it it’ll fall off” I didn’t know they meant the hand. -Respect. Your commitment level to creating an authentic haunted house is next level. -Looks like they also removed your jaw line? -You must be the neighborhood’s favorite at Halloween -No girlfriend and no right hand must be tough -"Your ""the stranger"" jerk off must be next level! - -Real talk hommie, I've been reading through the comments and you seem awesome." -Dude wtf happened!? -"Some girl out there somewhere wants to get stumped. You good, bruh." -No roast for you. Great luck to you -"""live at my dad's, no job, no girlfriend"". Yeah no shit. Didn't believe in God earlier today, but as of now I think he's real and he hates you." -"At least you get half off of all glove purchases. So, you got that going for you." -"......................................... Too Easy..................................... - -Takes alot of courage to post here give him a Hand 👏 👏" -The Jonas brother kicked from the band -"Life already roasted you man, stop asking for more." -"You look like cannibals started eating you, but you were so bad they didn't want to finish." -This is the one time I think God would actually karma my ass. So best of luck 😁 -Looking rough but still more likely to get laid than the average Redditor. -"Hey little bro, screw all these clowns here that’s messed up. Honestly! If you ever need help with anything I’ll be here to lend you a hand. 🤝" -"You’re standing next to your own “articulated hand” and that’s not the most fucked up thing about that photo. I’m at a loss here, chief" -"Man that sucks. On the other hand, you have a positive attitude and that's all that matters" -Some assembly maybe required -Had to learn to jerk off with the left hand huh? -Gotta hand it to ya man there ain't no way if I looked like you that I would have the guts to get roasted by reddit. -“‘Tis but a scratch.” -Moe Jonas -Nah man. Nothing I can say can rattle your cage after what you have been through. Although keeping your own hand for a memento is gonna be a real turn off for girls. maybe some goth chickwould think it’s cool -White walkers getting ready for winter be like -You let Stephen Hawking get more cooter than you? -You know he's done it at least once... -"Alright all that fucked up shit, but what’s that fucking shoulder bush?" -"This my strong hand - -*" -"I mean, no, I refuse but I like your bear print trousers." -Bro looks like Keanu Reeves if he was cast as one of the coffee drinking aliens in Men In Black -When you want to give long distance hand jobs. -"No roast. Instead a toast. - -OP. Your a true survivor. You've survived so many complications and still your breath. So many surgeries. So many issues. And here you are. Still alive. Still kicking stones on the road. I'm proud of you. You've done good. - -Keep living." -"Look at the right side, erm, I mean the bright side, you can always dress up as a slot machine for Halloween." -Anakin after fighting Dooku. -Jesus dude. I roast people here but that’s fucking gnarly bro. I surf and snowboard too. Can only imagine. I hope you’re doing alright buddy. No joke. Cheers to you man. Bad motherfucker. -Don't feed the animals! -Keeping the body of your girlfriend on a box is quite creepy. -How far has that stump been up ur ass? -I gotta hand it to you. Putting yourself here takes guts. -No roast wishing you the best -"Ok, but have you ever been elbow deep in someone? 🤣" -I can’t bro. I grew up with alopecia and It sucked. I can’t imagine. Keep trucking and don’t lose this sense of humor ✊ -Most people aren't going to know what those abbreviations stand for bro. -"Skiddy-mer-rink-a-dink-a-boomp, skiddy-mer-rink-a-doo" -"I’m not going to roast you but I will say that you’re a kicka$$ dude for surviving all the things you’ve been through. - -🤛🏻" -Joe boneless (jonas) -If Kevin Jonas looked like the music he made -Taking no nut November to a new level. - if they ampute anymore off of ya there won't be enough to roast -No one is talking about how he lives at home with his dad. What a loser move taking a hand out for his parent. -"Holy shit, this post fucking took off… -Like your hand." -I’ll show some respect and say this man is brave for posting to this page -"Good news and bad news OP. - -Good news, there are some extremely hot chicks out there with amputee fetishes. - -Bad news, there’s a lot less hot chicks with fetishes for guys who look like “Speedy Gonzales got hit by a car”." -Oh leave him alone he’s ‘armless -You like the drawing of an artist who doesn’t know how to draw hands so he/she just makes them amputee. -I can’t. See no benefit for you doing this mate -I would tell you to pray but it takes two hands. 🙏  -If your happy and you know it clap your hands -Trigger warning pls. Some of us are eating. -"Face 10/10 -Body 9/10 -Personality 10/10 -Hands 1/2" -"You guys are wrong, the comments should be disabled" -No “stranger” for you… -I think your description is enough roasting. -A few too many arm surgeries. -"Nah. I don't wanna roast you, bro. I'm nub gonna sink that low." -"you bring a new meaning to the phrase ""i have a bone to pick with you""" -Dennis Nilsen has respawned. -Who ordered the drumstick -"Guys committed to the longest throw, self catch world record." -"Not gonna roast you, just wanted to comment that having your own articulated hand is bad ass!!" -Even your bellybutton trying to escape this body -The result of beating it 4 times a day since 7th grade -let's arm wrestle bro -Whoever decided we had the right to bare arms sure as hell wasn’t thinking of you -Get a hook hand my dude -I'd shake your hand but ...no roasting sorry you don't deserve it. -I bet you still wipe with the stub don’t you -"This is a tough roast, can you give me a hand ?" -"You're making shit up at this point, all you have is mental disability" -You look like that flat guy from beatlejuice with that chest 🤣 -Comes equipped with his own turkey wing for Thanksgiving then can easily transition to Halloween. -And they said that circle jerk “would be fun”… -Why are you keeping your ex-girlfriend in the box? She looks handy. -"I just wanna know your story, not roast you. Tell me, what happened? Let me stare at your beautiful face while you talk let it all out ❤️ (I'm just saying You're eyecandy ;) )" -It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there like that. Let’s give him a hand. -Trailer park boys missed out casting this gent -I can’t roast you but the fact you have your own hand is dope as shxt -You still got a good spirit. High 3! -"Well at least they'll have a hard time cuffing you - -*Thanks for the...shiny bracelet*" -r/Nofap -"Bro, you look part centaur" -You seem like a handful -"I know this is supposed to be a roast. But You’ve got some nice hair my dude. -Like a joe Jonas, But ya know, missing a hand." -Dude looks like the simultaneous Before and After photos of a Shark attack -"Gotta hand it to you, this was pretty brave of you to post. Bet your nickname in college was stumpy just gotta ask where’s Ren" -Where do I buy those pj pants with pre tied draw strings ? -Not a roast but you really should give some girl a nice nubbin -Don't worry man. I'll give you a hand -Leave him alone. He’s ‘armless. -baaaaaby arm doodoodoodoodooodoodoo baby arm doodoodoodooodoodoodoo baby arm doodoodoodoodoodoodoo baby arm -Bro can’t even die right -Even your arm stump isn't as thick as an average cock. -"Get a grip bud! I mean, I got to hand it to you! I mean, ahh I'll stop I don't want to take it to the extremity" -"dude, wtf happened?" -"I am usually good at this, but ima need a hand..." -No fucking chance they let you keep your hand. -"OK you have some health issues to tackle and you’re an amputee, but you definitely ain’t ugly." -Bro sucks at two-hand touch -You really got dealt a bad hand 🤚 in life -Bros cooked -"Well alright man! Good for you! High fi- -Oh. Right." -I can't trust a man who won't fist bump with his right hand. Lefties are bastards. -And I thought I was fucked up with NF and a missing leg...God bless and I'll see about getting a telethon going for some biceps. -Your right shoulder looks like a hippie chick’s armpits because she’s so proud to be “natural” -"Oh, hi Forest Stump!" -Bro is trying to go for all the achievements. -Egoraptor really getting into the dark side of art lately.. -You may have no forearm but the balls of a bull kid. All My respect to you. -"Everyone's going for the low hanging fruit, but I'm gonna keep it like everyone else and stick to your appearance..... - -Benicio DelTurdo" -You’re certainly HANDling getting roasted well. -You could always start a handyman business or would that be a hand man business -"Why are you guys being a jerk to this guy? He is the nicest guy ever. He gave me a hand once, didn’t even ask for it back." -Everyone put your hands up -"Guys let's don't be mean to him he obviously needs a helping hand - And we can do it if we put our backs and spines Into it" -Body type of a slot machine -"Wants to be roasted, but he’s already falling off the bone." -Get sword arm -There is such a thing as going too far for a Klondike Bar! -"Nah, brah...no roast from me (other than the outie...)" -What’s your next disease? -"Idk if it's really a roast, but your arm looks like a fooking boomerang bro thats actually dope as shit" -I'm not roasting you dude it's sad cause u probably don't have a girl or job because of that hand or arm and that's bs. Hopefully you find someone that likes you for YOU -God must be so fucking mad you’re still alive -"We asked for handsome, not handless" -YAR ITS ME FOXY THE PIRATE FOX -"Takes balls to ask to get roasted, I got to hand it to ya." -i think you’ve had enough trouble -I bet you suck at guitar -Hahaha this guy doesn’t have a hand -Lost his arm in a fisting incident -nvm bro kinda looks like his momma fucked a pelican he look weird asl man -I can't do it. Life has roasted you hard enough. -"I love it, you are cool as shit you handless fuck" -"Please don’t, he seems like a nice dude" -I JUST FUCKING OPENED REDDIT MAN! FUCK! -How can we roast you when clearly god been roasting you for years -Knock off Luke Skywalker -"I guess you can't really work your fingers to the bone, hmm" -Articulated hand or amputated? -Did your moustache fall off and reattach itself onto your right shoulder? -This guys left arm must be REALLY tired -If that’s what happened to his hand feel bad for his.. -Wait hold up... that belly button looks familiar... -I’d give you a hand - but you don’t need it. You’re better than most out there. Get the hell off Reddit subs like this. -Just reminds me of the key and peele sketch where he's encouraged to roast a burn victim -How do you not have a girlfriend with that amazing articulated cock arm? -Cool pocket bro -"Dude, I wish I had your hair." -Wow Joe jonas's divorce cost him an arm and a leg. -Did you give yourself “the stranger” one too many times? Do you regret not just paying for sex instead? -How do you watch porn? -"If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands" -"Your right tiddy be like ""y so serious?""" -Let's have a hand for this week's SSI poster child! -Bro skipped arm day -I'd say he would be all right but that just isn't the case -Everyone give this man a hand he’s out here jerkin it with no hand to hold the phone -Fuck up your other arm then move in with your mom. -Give us a standing ovation. -Bro be looking like a twig with a broken branch -Why is there a bite mark above your collarbone -"Anyone who says anything bad about this man, is an asshole, plain and simple. Considering his conditions, he is exempt from any insult. You have to have respect for people in this predicament/situation. Look elsewhere to insult someone else. Insult and pick on me instead." -You look like you'd made a good wingman -Idk can't think of anything I might need a hand from someone to help me -At least you’re great with acronyms… -At least you look happy. -Vaginarm -"Nah, fuck all the nasty comments, don't even trip bro, 1 hand down? Least you got one left you can count on." -"You did all this so you didn’t have to work? - -Let’s give this guy a hand 👏" -"Bet when you get gloves, you get 50% off" -Right tightly…lefty ooooo. -"Notice how he didn’t say, “Lost my hand disabling a land mine,” or something like that? I think with have a Baby Ruth in garbage disposal situation…on our hands." -"Despite your limb lack, you’ve a slender figure and a handsome face. Wouldn’t be hard on yourself : )" -You’d be able to give the ultimate Rusty Hook. -You're the Wish version of Keanu Reeves -I think you singlehandedly covered it -Looks like some cannibal already did that to your hand bro I think you should get it checked out -"That's some impressive stuff -Let me give you a hand" -Jerked it too many times that his hand fell off -You should ask Joe Jonas to give you a hand -"No girlfriend, huh?! Don't worry, with that attitude they're gonna be lining up!" -Go go gadget dildo! -Post Obi-Wan fight wish.com Anakin -Not having a hand is a poor excuse for laziness on the gym. Own it -"You’re not a bad looking dude, put a ribbed condom over that thing and let the ladies see your potential." -"A crippling porn addiction is not solved by making yourself an actual cripple. - -What happened really?" -It would be better if you turned the ‘roast me’ sign clockwise a quarter turn. -"At least you can do a really good Anakin Skywalker cosplay. No girlfriend, missing a hand, floppy long hair. Now all you need is some third degree burns and two kids taken away at birth." -Bro has hair on his shoulders -At least nobody can ask you for a hand it would be kind of bad if ever happens. -"When you don’t study for a test at school do you just go in the next day and wing it? If you get to a question you don’t know, are you stumped? Are you good at pinball? Especially with the flippers?" -Do women often ask you to give them stump jobs? -You’re already cooked fam -"Nah i can’t roast this dude, this roasting shit is out of hand." -Thank you for your service 🫡🫡 -"You look like the little known 4th Jonas brother, Stumpy Jonas." -"Bro doesn't fist he stubs -He can't stub tho bc he doesn't have any b!tches" -Normally I appreciate a good hand job but... -"Dude, tie the drawstring on your shorts, oh wait." -Well....you've got those Betty Davis eyes. -I’ve seen chicken wings with more meat. -"Okay the fact you have the skeleton is pretty cool but I guess I have to roast you now.... - - - -Your nose is weird" -Every time he jerks off it feels like Skeletor is doing it -I can’t roast you. I find you very disarming -You could be the stunt double for extreme fisting porn. -"Why no girlfriend? She would love your ability to put your whole arm in and everythi- oh...OH- IS THAT HOW YOU LOST YOUR HAND??!?! - -IS THAT HER 🐈 ON YOUR SHOULDER?!" -Stop asking for a hand-out 🙄 -Wishing you the best for real -Not touching this one. -"Rex from Invincible in real life. - -Not even sure if that's a roast, it's just accurate." -I would but looks like life roasted you enough homie -You look like the failed fusion attempt of Drake Bell and Josh Peck. -Don’t skip leg day. -If you're dicks too small you could use ol' stumpy there -You ever do the stranger with that hand? Lotion that bad boy up and go to town. -comment -I see you allow your kids to draw on you -"wow, that's a lot going on. it must feel good to get a load off your chest rather than on it." -You're the prequel AND sequel to 16 and pregnant -Your 100% free onlyfans has the largest number of refund requests. -When will your kids divorce you? -"Your sports bra says ""my rules"", but you eyes say that ""any guy is in charge""" -Condolences to your kids. -You look like you have enough yeast infections to start your own Panera Bread franchise. -Every choice in life shes made had dick as a priority -"""30 years old, divorced before I was 25, overweight, unemployed, 2 kids and I've only found out I have ADHD and I'm autistic this year."" - -Sounds like a tinder bio, might as well add that your potential man must earn 6 figures, be at least 6"" and ""My kids are my world and they come first""" -That top isn't doing the muffin top any favors -"You should have them test you for OBCD this year, too." -Pikachu wouldn't choose you. -How is your face even more bent out of shape than your mind? -"I’m sure I can’t make you feel* worse, but your poor excuse for a pokemon tattoo certainly made me feel worse. - -Edit: left out the word feel lol" -"Listen shovel face… stop wasting what little money you have on blunt wraps and abstract rodent art. Astrologists do not count as dr’s therefore cannot make medical diagnosis so you should probably see a real one. A cardiologist, psychologist, and dietician wouldn’t hurt either. Gl out there 👍" -"If this is your resume for the Tuesday 2pm shift at the strip club, you’re hired." -"# ""30 years old, divorced before I was 25, will be divorced three more times, unemployed deadbeat loser, 2 kids from different fathers, and I've only found out I have made up my mental illnesses as an excuse to become an unemployed degenerate this year."" - - --corrected" -Well that's a relief to know that your thousand yard stare has a medical explanation. -internet diagnosed autism -Who else was expecting a onlyfans link in her bio? -Damn 2 baby daddies and ur still unemployed. What will it take for u to get up and take care for ur kids? Another baby daddy? -"More like ‘MY ROLLS, MY BODY’." -"Nobody: - -You: Hey everybody, I'm autistic!" -How tf do you find out you’re autistic at 30 -"If you dye your hair blue, you’d make a wonderful nonbinary fat activist 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️⚧️🫃🏻" -"Shut up, Meg" -All this and the bad tattoo screams cum dumpster with no father -"If you squint you actually look pretty have you considered looking for an Asian, drunk or visually impaired person for your next baby daddy?" -Is boxing a sport in the Special Olympics? Seeing you makes me wish it was. -"You look like you work at a farm cleaning up horse shit, and when you bent down to scoop it up, the horse kicked you in the face." -Someone had sex with a fat autistic adhd girl...twice -It’ll be easier for me to personally invade Iran than it’ll be for you to find a decent step dad -"Jesus, is everyone autistic now??" -"So basically, you’re irresponsible, a poor decision-maker, and hate taking accountability for your actions…got it." -Welcome to the self diagnosing autistic community of TikTok -Did your parents get to have any kids they love? -And you look like you’re a week away from stripping or setting up an only fans… good luck sl*t -"You got more red flags than a Chinese military parade. - -Feel worse! Nobody here really cares how you feel. What a drag on society you'll be." -"So many excuses, so little time." -Stick to anal so you don’t pollute the gene pool further. -Pokéballs aren’t the only balls you like to catch -What if this was as good as it’ll ever get for you. -stop 🫷 -Damn your prime was probably 15 years ago -Temu Gypsy Rose -"You should give your ex-husband a female dog. -At least he will have one bitch loyal in his life." -I knew you had the tism’ the second I saw pikachu on your arm -Chest like Spam out of the can. -You look just about desperate enough to give me a chance... -You are what they call a leftover woman in china -Who let Gypsy Rose wear a sports bra -"Being overweight and wearing crop tops is such a public display of lacking self awareness. - -Also don't worry maybe next year you wont be autistic with adhd." -Self diagnosis because you watched a TikTok video doesn’t count -"Just noticing you went through the trouble of nit picking and arguing with every single roast response. - -My guess is your ex now knows a kind of peace he never thought possible." -The Onlyfans ads are evolving 🥴. I guess the biggest roast is that it failed the first time and this time it's not working again because you're not pretty enough for people to take the bait. -Does every single person on Earth have ADHD all of a sudden or is it just me??? -Who in the fuck is telling all of these youger people that they’re autistic….what in the absolute fuck is really going on here 👀 -"Aww poor soul. You don't need to come to us for roasting. Just look at the mirror, it will do the job plenty." -Lana Del Wench -"You’re not missing their social cues, they’re just really ignoring you." -You make me question being pro life. -This girl is responsible for putting the “mid” in “mid-life crisis.” -Look at this ADHD having hoe looking for our undivided attention. You can only get what you give honey bun 😘 😂 -"Everyone on the planet has some form of ADHD and Autism, please stop wearing that like a badge of honor to garner attention" -There is nothing to roast...you roasted yourself... -"I'm not surprised you're divorced, I'm surprised someone married you in the first place." -You expired -You look like a pig from Minecraft. -"Like most ugly overweight girls, you did your best work when boys were going through puberty and had no standards other than ""girl""." -You should start an Only Fan account. There has to be at least one person that would pay to see you naked. -You were clearly a forceps delivery. -"Fake Autism and ADHD - now she has something else to blame for her shitty life, besides her weight." -"“Roast me” -*5 seconds into roast* -“NO NOT LIKE THAT”" -i tried to swipe left on my desktop computer screen -"Im assuming that “divorced, single mom, ADHD, and autistic” has become your biggest talking points in the past few months because otherwise you have no personality." -"Well, with that face of yours at least you're safe from STDs." -I don't know about ADHD but you've definitely got early onset OBCD -"All those words to just say - -30 years old, White Trash" -Calm down spazz -"""My body, my rules"" - -Okay....but that doesn't really mean much when your only rule is ""There are no rules!""" -"If you were on the Titanic instead of Rose, Jack would have been the one to survive." -Your sports bra says “My Rules” what’s the rule? Cum in me not on me? -You could have just said you want attention instead of all those words. -I bet you just self-diagnosed yourself after watching a couple of tiktok videos. -"Oh you're one of those, ""I have autism. It's my personality trait"" people." -MILL: Mother I'd Like to Leave -"Autism is not a discoverable thing that you just can find in any course of your life. Autism is found at birth. That’s your roast! Autism is not made to be an excuse for personal responsibility. you made your bed with your behaviors and actions and decisions. Now you have to live with them. The unfortunate thing is that you brought in an innocent human being into existence, without thinking through the implications of what your future life could be." -You forgot to mention the moustache of a 13 year old boy going through puberty. -Lmao do people do this because they have some sort of public shame fetish ? -"I bet you just have a short psychiatrist and you are not autistic. You may be adhd but at 30 it does not matter. - -You are just another “victim” who is being treated infairly by life…" -"Maybe find someone who cares, and not just online." -"30 yrs old, divorced, 2 kids bla bla bla (say no more, we get it.. everything is men’s fault too) just like it’s a man’s fault you decided to put a tramp stamp on your forearm for the world to see how much you’re obsessed with penis" -Overloading the dishwasher. -"You look like the poster child for Post nut clarity. - - Im also curious how many times you have explained ""what a great deal"" you got on that tattoo." -Keep making bad decisions. You are good at it. -I know that kids colours... -"How can I make myself interesting? - -Oh I know, I’ve got ADHD and I’m on the spectrum" -"Everyone stop scrolling, we found the cover girl for the DSM 6." -Hmmm…. I’m failing at life. I MUST be autistic and adhd. What a cop out. -This came across my feed. I wish I didn't Pikachu. -Body of a mother and the face of a father -I don’t think anyone can roast you when you made an OF and then a roast me post just to get subscribers as if we wouldn’t figure out your business plan. -The saddest part is that you could have been pretty if you'd have just taken better care of yourself and also replaced all of your face with a different face. -"Everyone is diagnosed with adhd, if you cant stare at a wall contently for a hour they think something is wrong with you." -Between that snow plow of a chin and that icebreaker bow of a nose you could have gotten some cool jobs before global warming. Too bad those jobs are going away faster than your dating prospects. -Ur next tattoo should say “our time is up…see you next week“ -Pokemon tattoo. Autism confirmed. I bet you like trains too. -You don't really look like you give a shit -I figured most of that just looking at the first picture. -Who actually asks to be roasted when that happens to them -When your kids got to take notes for you cause clearly you make enough mistakes -It's fitting that your username has potato in it -I don't think drugs could even make you feel good about yourself lol -RILF -"Don't worry - you and Zeke might no longer be a wife and husband, but you'll always be a sister and brother." -Its giving “girl that gave me a bj behind the Wendy’s dumpster” vibes -Living off of Alimony? -Proof that not all fat chicks have tits -You look like you've already been roasted...on a spit. -All the cliches without actually being a nurse? -"So miss, what's it like to be daddies failure and fuck buddy at the same time?" -Those June/cousin marriages never work out. -I would’ve thought you were at least 38-40. I hope that helps! -You look like the girl dudes cheat on their partners with and everyone sits and wonders what caused him to make such a stupid decision -Don't forget to add beautiful to the list too. And gullible. -"Awwww…..,.self diagnosed mental disorders. Eat way way to not put the blame on yourself" -"Well, I can see by the reflection of the ring light and the blank expression on your face that the OF career isn't taking off like you planned, either." -Don’t reproduce again -"You can't just blame fucking up your life on autism and adhd. - -You gonna make the rest of us look bad." -ADHD and Autistic... sure.. lol.... people really getting over categorized now n days. -"I’ve never been good at roasting anyone unless his name is Donald but I’m going to try to say something that’s just really rude and outrageously funny… OK? Ready? - -I really only think tattoo should be done in black ink. OK there I did it… I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry." -"Hey! That’s not ok to self deprecate! We should hang sometime, maybe off the second story?" -I don’t even think an OF can save you. -"“i’M aUtIsTiC” - -Clearly everybody is these days. 🤦‍♂️" -You've got a face for porn..... -The face of feminism. -You look like you're bad at onlyfans -"- 30 years old -- divorced before 25 -- overweight -- unemployed -- 2 kids - -If you don't find a job soon, you can add ""homeless"" to that list." -"Yet, you want 6’4 and 6 figures." -Don't worry I'm sure you'll be divorced several more times -tell us he was in the military without telling us he was in the military -You left out the part about the pikachu tattoo. -I don't think that I can fix you -How can you fat and skinny at the same time? -Conon O'Brien why is he on this app -You’re right. You’re doing pretty damn bad yourself lol no need to get roasted. -imagine being so down on life you get an pikachu tatoo to light you up -At least you're artistic. -Your face looks badly photoshopped -Who needs a personality when you’ve got a diagnosis? -One half of the face has its own lower elevation point -My god you have had more whole human hands in you than Elmo -You sure you aren’t leaving something out? Like the fact that you were born a man. That mustache outline and that face says it all…. -"It's all gonna be okay, just have faith in the higher power. God loves you. - -Now can I smash you🤣" -Love on the Spectrum candidate -You eat yellow snow -Penelope from Bridgerton gets more game than you -Did you post this before or after you went live on onlyfans? -"I bet you regret not dating that ugly nerd that asked you out in middle school, he would've prevented this." -"Chin up, love. Being 30 you still look like a snobby 20yo cam-girl" -"You just need to find you a man who's into fat, re+arded, financially draining chicks..." -Want to become a Single mom of 3? -Avg American women. -Lol overweight? Man some of the stupif shit you people post aren't even worth roasting -So...what you're saying is that you're single? -"ADHD is only a surprise if you’re autistic, usually it is obvious 😂" -Did you eat the DSM? -I mean ur not ugly. I'd smash -Did me of your kids do your tattoo for you or did you purposely find the worst ‘artist’ in your area? -Nothing worse than a pity roast for attention -xdosh.com -Overweight she says… the kardashian influence -So you didn’t have a mirror? -If it makes you feel better I only found out you were autistic this year too but I wasn't surprised. -She's a slow hoe... -Average dollar general employee -You didn’t need to explain anything. That Japanese cartoon tat on a grown adult says it all. -I don’t know whats worse your picture or that dreadful headliner paragraph no one gives a fuck about 👀 -HMU if you want to get the addys off! -"Your eyes say that you are willing to endure much pain rather than any loneliness. Not a roast per se, just an observation." -And this is why you shouldn't get married before you're 30 😂 -Looking like Mason Verger from hannibal -"You can also find her on the thread - r/shittytattoos no need to explain" -Ah yes. A self diagnoser. Not something I’m fond of. -I feel much better about my life now thanks -ADHD and autistic lol. Like becoming a preacher on the internet every girl in her twenties has got to have three diagnoses and a major trauma in their youth despite growing up in the suburban fantasy land. -Would (coming from me that's a grave insult) -Do your kids a favor and abandon them -You are desperate for attention. That is sad -"My body my rules: - -Rule #1 - You can do anything to my body if you give me the slightest amount of attention. - -Rule #2: View Rule #1." -"This is a facetious sub reddit,why are they recommending me here" -I could’ve told you about the autism -You make me question being pro life. -It’s funny you have a Yogi tattoo because you couldn’t attract a bear on your period. -Damn you only just found out you have autism? -comment -"Not fair, I'd like to hear the bullies' side of the story here too. Looks like they had some good reasons." -If vinegar was a human -You’re so freaking boring it took this post 4 hours to even be noticed -With a nose like that I can see why. One sneeze has the whole state of Florida locking down for another hurricane. -"So you got bullied, then thought getting a bunch of shitty tattoos would change all that?" -What did your left eye say to your right eye ?? Nothing. Their too fucking far away to hear each other. -Have you considered that they were right? -You look like if frodo took black market HRT -These pictures looked a lot better before you posted them. -Have you tried keeping a wine glass on your chest? my dining table has more curves -Girls bullied you ? Give their boy friends ur herpes -Wow double nostril rings. You’re twice as edgy as every other goofball with a nose ring. -"You look like double that. A long, worn soccer mom who is past her 2nd divorce and is trying to embrace “cougar life”. However, you come across more like “mangy alley cat”" -This bitch hide shit in her pussy -"Aww, everyone's practice girl finally grew up" -Nothing extra hard going on here -You've never made anyone extra hard. -"The kids in school told you that you’d amount to nothing, but you showed them, you’re a key holder at Starbucks! I bet you spell their names wrong on their orders for revenge." -So now you want to be bullied again? Your wack. -Is that sun tattoo there so that guys would have a reason to look at your chest? -Seen better curves on Lego men. -"Plot Twist: OP was homeschooled, Dad was the bully, Bullying was buttsex" -You give extremely tentative blow-jobs…..but you give a lot of them. -"Got bullied because you kept trying to put out, only to be rejected. Home schooling is tough." -"Your face got more lines than Walmart on black Friday. You remind me of my garden hose after it's been drained of water. You look way older than 27 because you're more wore out than a perverts sock puppet, but I'm sure you have nice teeth!" -Bitch you look like the female Mikki Mase -You got a frog face with long hair🐸 -You look like you were voted *most unfuckable* at homeschool -You are off your xyz axis -Face of an axolotl...body of a salamander! -You look like an Amish slut -"The tattoo version of when the high school cafeteria ruined the food, so their solution was to just give you a lot more of the ruined food without charging more." -i feel like u turn into the hulk when u lose ur vape -cute! -"Bro I am gonna be real, I had to stop myself and remember this is Reddit. At least in my opinion you’re really eye catching. However,  you do give me twilight fan vibes." -Nah I’d date ya -Was Peta your lawyer? -Marry me -"You're a lesbian. Boom, roasted" -"Umm I would like to roast the bullies instead, you are BEAUTIFUL!!" -"Hair’s fried, poor thing has mange… but no vet would treat this dog…" -I didn't realize people who look like everyone else got bullied. -You’re built like a pickle -"Tries to pose to fake curves, not even faking works." -"Judging from the caption, id say she has a degradation kink." -You look british -Your beautiful. Intelligent. this negative situation has allowed you to grow. You've learned some life's lessons and have become a strong woman and know it will never happen again. -I can't do it! You look too nice a person 😂😂😂 -Even your pimp fired you. -"Honestly, I'm sorry you were bullied. I don't think being bullied is something to make fun of. Sorry." -"""try extra hard"" is what your parents keep telling you" -You seem like someone who Complains about bullying every time someone takes a sip from your water bottle -No I won’t. -I think you look just fine -I dig the dimples and tattoos but ive been told i have to say mean things. So…. Your dress is very basic and black -"They were not bullying you, they were just honest." -"I’ve seen drywall with more bust than you, also your face would traumatize moviegoers if you played the role of a demon in a horror movie." -Better put that lock around your neck back on the door where they locked you up. -"Ah look, ET has a sister. - -Let me guess, you want to phone home too?" -Stunning -No F’n way your 27 is that milk years -This is how lesbians look like in real life ladies and gentelmen. -Their loss -damn girl you look 40 -You seem chill. I would’ve attempted to be your friend back in HS 😄 -You look normal enough so I wonder what else is wrong with you that the bullies knew that we cannot see -"Tats?   Check. -Piercings?  Check -Subaru?   Check. -Congratulations on being a basic Lesbian." -Oh look. Another hipster chick with shit in her nose. -"When you got that ring, was the guy practicing his vows alone in a forest?" -Telling people to try hard for you doesn't seem your style. Maybe try long form manipulation and abuse that you later blame on your past trauma as an excuse. -"“Bully” was the name of her mirror. -“Try Hard” was her nickname. -“School” was what she called the gloryhole. -Her hobbies include Meth… and other women’s husbands." -"It looks like your eyes don't even like you, they are trying to leave your face." -Put the needle down sis… -flat earthers would be excited to see your body -"Very pretty, love all the tattoos! Look great 🥰" -"Chest tattoos, nose rings and bad posture much?" -"Girl is that your nose or is that gru's like legit and you have been bullied at school you face uglier that my great grandma and she's rotting away in a coffin right now -* -That better be how you look you ugly a gru nose girl" -You have the figure of a fruit Roll-Up. -You have all the sex appeal of a used tampon -U probably deserved it! How’s that -Double ring tab pulls on the nose are on the nose -One should save trying extra hard for things worth the effort. -"Basic pastel hiar color,  basic shitty tattoo sleeve, basic nose rings. The more you try to stand out,  the more basic you look  " -Even your eyes want nothing to do with you. -the rain in Spain falls mainly on this plain Jane -At least you didn't get bullied for your looks. You're so boring nobody noticed what you look like... -You look like you complain a lot during hand jobs. -You look like you're one dark art hobby away from having a full tattoo bodysuit -Gail the snail irl. Get the salt. Hey I was bullied too but I over came it and don’t live in a fucking caravan. -You have more doodles on you than a 5th graders spiral notebook. -"You're so bad, you're a self-employed actor" -"Your mother used the phrase “we’re not mad, we’re just disappointed” a lot. She meant it too." -"Man, it makes me sad to think that bullying is even a problem at the bottom of the ocean." -Bullied does not equal ignored -Head like a dropped pie -Getting burned at a stake is not being bullied. -Rory Gilmore grew up to be a lesbian. -"Wait a minute, aren't you famous?.... yeah, you were on that show from the 90's Ed, Edd, & Eddie" -Tattoos and piercings can’t hide the fact that you’re about as interesting as a Toyota Camry idling outside a credit union. -Was that obedience school? -Even your tattoos hate you -"Soo, you got bullied in high school, and you miss it ? That's why you are here ?" -"It's like the before, during and after shots of a budget goth hooker." -What? BDSM and your father's slut shaming just isn't titillating enough for you anymore? -"You are transitioning well, good job! " -"Flat face, “the last dandelion” lookin mf" -You have cocaine nose. -What does your right knee say to your left knee knee? I haven’t seen you since high school. -"School life is hard for the less able. I'm sure your not a bad teacher, just a bit schoolmarmish." -"If hepatitis C was a person - -Edit: if hep C was a person they would likely be afraid of catching you." -How is the food in the methadone clinic? -"Pro surfers would go crazy for that body, you know they love their boards" -Why should I try hard? you’re not. -"Oh no, someone’s dog got out" -Getting fucked from behind in the IHOP Men's Room at 2am is bullying -"Get rid of the stupid nose rings. They scream ""juvenile""." -Seem exciting as a box of Cheerios -Looks like you played bass at school. And I’m not talking about the guitar. -Looks like you tell every guy to try and get hard... one look at you causes instant ED. -You look like someone's future cautionary tale on why not to date a woman with depression -#BringBackBullying -You dropped out of school when you were 15. It’s been 12 years move on. -If a minnow was in human form -Im surprised that you went school -You look like the wicked witch of the helpdesk -"Bullied in high school, college, grad school, and your post doc. Hell, the priest bullied you at your wedding. And now...." -No. I mustn’t. -"I see why,you look like you were created in a lab." -"The bullies should have done a better job, you're still here." -Guys you fuck have to try extra hard to keep it firm all the way to end too. -Sorry to hear you got bullied in school. That’s rough. Was it because you look like a crack whore? -I never knew Tom Holland was transitioning -letter opener nose -Why do you look like a parakeet? -The bullying didn’t work. You’re still shamelessly ugly -I tried removing your tattoos with my Samsung’s photo editor AI feature. It insisted on deleting you from the picture.. -You look like a less curvy Elijah Wood -Is that Mikki Mase as a crossdresser for Halloween? -Now if only your X chromosome tried extra hard. -Be honest. Nobody has to try hard with you. You'll settle for not leaving. -Im just sad now :/ thanks alot OP. -"With those nose ring choices, it doesn't look like you don't even try." -Did your parents have any children that lived? -"Get more tattoos, maybe that will make daddy come back and your ""friends"" might respect you more" -You look like you roofie yourself and then fuck yourself so you feel like you’re being used. -Your moles spells out loser🤷 -You look like a random beggar that was cast in game of thrones. -"Did they call you ""Ole Pointy Face""? Perhaps say ""LOOK OUT! She'll poke your eyes out with your chin!""?" -You look like you wear long underwear just so you dont have to shave -"Yup, you were bullied." -Taylor Swlitswrist -At least you didn’t have to turn your head at all to look both ways crossing the street -Top notch boglin energy here. -The slut that got away -">got bullied in school - -Yeah, no duh." -Is the school bullies the excuse you tell yourself to make your feel better for dropping out to turn tricks for meth? -If you got bullied for looking like a rat it makes sense -I didn’t know that birds bullied other birds. -"Bullied in high school, more like bullied at birth!" -You look like a returned mail order bride. -You look like you practice wicca on the weekends with your two ugly sisters. -"Didn’t you just barely post to r/doppelganger? Dam, didn’t get enough updoots dopamine from over there so you came over here to get updoots while getting irl down doots in the comments. Sounds like you must be real hungry for being shamed in the bedroom with your lover there." -"Textbook features, comic book placement." -"Lookin rather droopy, bet you get people thinking you having a stroke all the time" -Who from whoville ahh -"I find it hard to believe you got bullied in high school. - -You look like a perfectly fine person to just ignore completely." -"Eyes are so far apart, that If you ever witnessed a crime, there would be 2 sides to the story." -Extra hard or just plain old hard is something no man has ever been capable of in your presence -"It's never *actually* the ones that were ""bullied"" that say they were. That being said, why even mention that to a roast page looking the way you do if not to show it didn't work the first time? Something wrong with your ears, miss? Or your memory span?" -You look like a bald rat ..🐀 -I bet the tattoos started as a way to cover up the track marks. -You’re still in High School at 27? No wonder yuu get bullied. -"There's really nothing more generic looking than a tatted alt girl who thinks dyed hair, dark clothes and tattoos make them look interesting. Like that look has really lost all originality because of girls like you needing something to cover up the insecurity of being as bland as cardboard without all the clothes, makeup and hair dye." -You look like someone from Mr beast squad -"You are 27. You been out of high school for damn near a decade. Your old ass needs to let it go, move on and get a real job." -First time I was glad there's no only fans -"I want to roast you extra hard, too. But unfortunately, looking at your picture just makes me soft. Looks like you won't get your wish here" -You look like if a yawn turned into a whole human being. -"Did you flunk 9th grade, like, 10 times or something? Why are you still in high school?" -Evolution of the hammerhead -"Chest tattoos already tell us you got bullied in school, no need to tell us" -In today’s market the real estate between your eyes must be worth a couple mil. Lucky you! -"Last pick I could have sworn was Michael Malice, took me a second to adjust." -What kind of drugs do you do to look +10 years older? -You look like a dental assistant -"You're 27 and still haven't got over your bullying, nuff said" -I feel as though you and anyone trying extra hard have never been in the same atmosphere let alone the same space. -"Be honest, even you would bully yourself" -I am going to side with the 12 year old who bullied you. You are still in school at 27. Loser! -I know you make yourself throw up still because of the “bullies”. -"No, nobody need effort to hate you" -Sadly you also peaked in high school -"In their defence, you kinda had it coming. You've twice the ink of a Sunday Star newspaper with none of the sex. Even junk mail comes with sudoku" -"Welp, clearly the bullying didn't work cause you're still here :/" -Getting caught fucking the entire football team is a justified reason to bully someone that’s on you -bullies must have been rough in the 80's -Dont worry they turned off the hidden cams in that room. -Did you just turn 27 for the 15th time? -27?!!!!!!! -You were probably homeschooled. -I wasn’t trying to bully you. I was just trying to squeeze your eyes closer together. Sorry for the misunderstanding. -We can see why -Built like a tyridactel -Not worth the effort. -Hottest heroine addict on this site -"O wow, that makeup is doing wonders" -It's not bullying when pointing out shitty tattoos -Not bullied enough 🤣 -You look like you like to nibble on cheese. -You look like you get pay day loans to finance tatoos -You look like the girl who’d have a rumor that you let your cat lick peanut butter off her pussy. -I bet the bullying continued at home too. -"I would imagine with a nose like that and no hips or tits, you probably got teased mercilessly. I've seen more curves on a brick wall" -"Wearing your school locker lock as a necklace so your past trauma never escapes you, but lucky for the trauma it never has to face you." -"A before, during, and after photo of your life from age 14-60, show us what you’ll like like at 80 please" -"I thought the third photo was a different person, and not in a good way" -Your right eye had to catch an Uber to see what the left one saw… and cross a damn bridge on the way. That’ll be $7 pls -You look like you know how much weed an Adderall prescription will get you. -Must’ve not been bullied bad enough if you are still here. -Try extra hard? More like you’re extra virgin -"Lies. To be bullied, bullies have to pay attention to you. Clearly nobody did. Or does." -You look like a melted wax figure of yourself -I think they mistook you for a stray. You have that energy -Did you get bullied because you were a lesbian or are you a lesbian because you got bullied? -Your handwriting looks less fragile than your spirit. -You look like a microwaved Barbie -I think it takes little less just for you to finish the job -you look like if Sid the sloth had a sex change -(> -Are these pics u took after ur meth addict gf abandoned u -"I'd say you're ugly as sin, but sin is a lot less ugly than you." -“Got bullied in school” I can see why -Less curves than a hot dog weiner -I'm tryin' to think of the bird you look like -Bullied by many men’s meat does not count as bullying just your normal afternoon ! -"All tats, no . . ., well nothing." -"If you can believe it, she can’t see the bridge of her nose." -…. i can tell. -You look like a Pokemon trainer haha -You have nice hair follicles jk -Who owns you? I see you have a chain and a lock Submissive? -I’ve seen worse. Not many though. -"gonna make this hyper specific, but you look like you were someone who bullied alt kids in high school until you realized that dressing ""dark"" when you're already popular is a great way to generate attention when the crows feet start showing up." -You look like a Russian mail order bride (not the expensive kind) -"If Birth Control had a mascot.... you know, like college." -You look better with makeup. -Coloring your hair doesn’t provide you with a personality. -I’d call you pitiful and pathetic for being close to 30 claiming being bullied in school some how still defines who you are but I think those words are too strong for the grain of dust a snowflake once coalesced upon -Using the same picture as a “glow up” and a hour later using it to get shit on by random people. Yikes 😬 -You bringing up high school at 27 years old means that being bullied in high school was you peaking in life -"you look like you could have been on Tonya Hardings hit squad. Maybe getaway driver for the dude that kneecapped Nancy Kerrigan. - -you also look like the kind of girl that eats a lot of guys asses" -Didn't realise you still crave so much attention despite knowing the consequences... -I don’t think anyone has tried extra hard. -looks like that head from Hereditary found a new body -They bullied you so hard you decided to make your body a coloring book? -"We can tell you we're bullied. The piercings, the tattoos, the dyed hair... none of it says ""well adjusted""." -They were right. -r/shittytattoos -Did you get bullied because you look like one of those Wii people? -You look like a fucking rooster. -If your eyes were any further apart I'd say you were one-eyed Siamese twins -"You know when you spread the eyeballs too far apart in create a player mode? - -Yeah. That." -It's easy to be mean and hard to be nice but your but your appearance takes that to the extreme -So you just spamming all the subs today? -Lumpy. -"Just as you tried extra hard with that first pic. I know very well that was the third or fourth take, and that’s me being generous." -lil ahh note -" - -Do you make that annoying sound the other rubber chickens do?" -No we don't..... -Actually bullied or Gen Z bullied where one time someone told you you couldn’t do something? -I could have sworn I saw this thing on sesame Street in all yellow -Hide the pain Hillary? Are you *still* trying to get the freshman at LBU to sleep with you? -If you tied a ball to your waist you’d actually be a paddle ball. -\+10 points to the bullies -"Extra hard X, is that your only fans page cuz I ain't paying for that shit... Better idea💡 just threaten people with the thought of them having to look at naked pictures of you, they'll pay you off 🫣 that or.... Cliff ↓ 🤮 e e e y y -y b b B -🙃•*°⁰( You better pray I'm falling faster then that shit...🤮)" -Spot the signs of a stroke! Not one feature is vertical -0 _ O -Community college in your 30s? -If not for the tattoos and piercings you wouldn't be half bad. -You’ve got the face of a root vegetable -What you were bullied in school? No way! With eyes so normally spaced apart? -Looks like your bullies sucked at bullying -I’d lock you up for that hairdo but it appears you’ve already done it. -"Swipe left, scroll on" -Guess dad skipped his every other weekend visits -You know.. I kinda get why you were bullied -Your presence bully my eyes. -The only thing you accomplished at school is embarrassment. -"You look like someone diagnosed with progeria, trying to make it in this world." -Why is your body a billboard for the dress brand -I would bully you as well -"Extra hard, I'm definitely not" -Your eyes are in different time zones. -Still cares about school... -Why are you looking at me AND behind me? -Your hair is trying to pull your face off of the shot. -"I can already tell you can't pick one thing in your life. What hair color to go with? Nah, f it, just pour like 7 drops randomly of whatever you have lying around. Which nostril to get pierced? Nah, f it, do them both, who cares if it looks silly. Wanna get roasted on here? Write a barely legible ""r/RoastMe"" sticky note that you put up backwards as the third pic. Goodness gracious, commit to something." -Back then you were a loser. Now you're a loser with tattoos. -I thought cows only wear 1 ring in their nose. -Those nose piercings are closer than your eyes. I believe your eyes have a restraining order against them. -Glad your not wearing any make up cause it would be very witchlike if you were to put on something red on your face again -How? -My bed has more curves then you. -It's 8 dollar Uber ride from her left eye to her right. -"""You'll have to try extra hard,"" what every dude says when they see your face." -"Bullied in high school, throat-fucked In college." -"Noone has ever had to ""try hard"" when it came to ways of bullying you looking like that." -"You're not fooling anyone, Adrian Brody." -You look like you send people unprompted feet pics -That's tough being bullied in school. Sorry you had to go through that. What kind of things did they say? Probably something about how you're fat but some how flat chested. That your so ugly even your eyes are trying to spread apart to avoid looking at your body. That you look eerily close to the body of Danny devito as the penguin? Yeah that's too bad -You look like you celebrate Halloween 365 days a year. -Chin so sharp it makes the point for me… -"It's funny that you said ""extra hard"" since roasting you is so easy. - -Which is what you'll have to be to ever have someone pretend to love you." -Trying extra hard might be something you wanna do with your appearance. -Looks like the Blozempic is working for you -The last picture makes me feel like i got catfished -Only in school? -"Give this chick a sock, she needs to be set free." -You look related to that little person from Twin Peaks. -Bruce Jenner’s pussy isn’t as dry as your hair. -"Fuck those bullies and may they experience worse - -And fuck you too- oh wait ew nvm" -Dear lord! Not even Gollum himself would go within 100 feet of those rings. -You’re 3 years away from being a cat lady -"No man has ever tried extra hard for you, I will not be the first" -You have the perfect face for radio -looking like a salamander. -I would bully you too. You look your a stoner's wet dream with those weird ass tattoos and try hard to be popular goth look. Put some more colour on yourself maybe then you might stand out as less of a target. -"""We have the Mona Lisa at home""" -"You didn’t get bullied bc -Of your looks. Your very attractive! You got bullied bc your pretty and probably shy , nice person. And bullies are insecure and usually not very nice people. You will soon learn bullying is always about th bully and seldom about the person being bullied. Don’t ever feel less than anyone else. 🥰" -Bullies were to soft on you -The third photo gave me a jump scare -That explains why you chose the gang bang casting couch. -"I don't need to try that hard, you look like The Wicked Witch of the West. How long have you been able to open cans with your chin?" -You like Rodney Copperbottom from Robots -human garlic -If italics were a person -Is picture 3 without filters or is that just what the monster looks like in the morning? -Look like a space raider crisp -"You so boring, I won’t even roast you 🥱" -It’s obvious you’re damaged goods and more scarred on the inside than the outside. -Oh lord put the makeup back on. -You don't need to smoke weed to look high -I bet you were homeschooled -Not gonna bully you... but i do wanna say you're beautiful -You look like what the fish see when people look thru the fishbowl -You look like if Timothee chalemet put a crusty jizz sock on his face to rob a bank. -It’s always cool seeing people who were bullied having an awesome glow up. Sorry it didn’t happen for you -You're such a sweetheart 💋 -"They obviously weren’t that good at it, you’re still here." -What's the point of their bullying?You're freaking gorgeous -Nobody can try as hard as your hairline trying to stay alive. -You dress like the first half of antidepressant commercials -You were definitely a scene kid. There’s nothing more to say. -"Your tits would hang below your waist if they didn’t have your gut to hold them up. It’s like looking at two egg yolks sliding down a wall. You’re whiter than printer paper, you have ratty-looking dried out hair, and you have an eagle’s beak for a nose, and you somehow thought that getting covered in shitty tats was the go-to plan for looking your best? I’d hate to be in your wife’s place when you start letting yourself go because that shit’s gonna get ugly fast." -"Whiny sulky and pompous cause you think your all that - -No wonder ya got bullied - -Next thing you'll tell me..your name is tamzin" -TBF you gave them a lot to bully -My ex also had a big jaw line but she was actually hot -You're still stuck on getting bullied in school? Let it go that was 60 years ago. Don't get your pantaloons all in a bunch gam gam. -Sounds like what you tell your six kids and their six fathers. -I'll date you 👍 -I'll be your protector. -I don’t think you needed to tell us you were bullied. Pretty obvious why. -Seems like someone got used to it and now can't live without that part of life anymore!!!! -"Nope, looks like they did a pretty good job." -You were really good as that girl in Hereditary -You look like the stand-in they used for sides during line reads in Pretty Woman for the version of the script when Richard Gere's character was only interested in Heroin addicts -Why post pictures of 3 different people? Is it 1 per personality? -You look like Boy George had a baby with Boy George -I bet you Subaru is full of used up narcan units and Starbucks cups. -No one is gonna try extra hard for you! -You look like you would die if you ate a cake roll with 0.00001 grams of pistachio dust -Ive seen ironing boards with more shape -Omg KIM RICHARDS -You look like a failed porn actress that exclusively stars in videos that involve money -Your body has the same build as your nose. -"I can't imagine why you were bullied.was it your nose, eyebrows, flat chest, or dull, unoriginal personality?" -"Any guy would have to try extra hard to finish when he's got you to look at. - -He probably couldn't and would need to fake it just to get things over with." -You are a beautiful 27F -Why don't you try -The only answer is yes. -"When I was 27, I supervised 200 people and had been married 8 years. Grow up" -You have a face that suggests if I give you an item your bond of servitude will be broken. “Master has given Fewey a sock. Fewey is free.” -Absence of father is written all over you. -Wait wait wait lemme guess what they used to say……it was claw nose wasn’t it!?!? -"Your pics are like those criminal crackhead ones, where they show you progressively getting worse." -Did it really stop in highschool?? -Bold move to highlight that beak with booger rings. -I see what you’re doing by not posting any side profile shots… Trying to hide that Toucan Sam nose you got. -The sister of Elijah wood who didn't get cast for the role of frodo. -27 is a little old for primary but with your iep I'm sure you will make middle school soon.  -comment -Bro built like soft serve chocolate ice cream -Post Nutella Clarity -Rick Ross Dress for Less © -Philly called - it wants it's half smoked blunt back. -The gays call him build-a-bear. -Homeless and out of shape version of Kimbo Slice. -"Tinder bio: i give great hugs, I’ll finish your food and i might forget to put on deodorant 9/10 times" -Hey look it's the poo emoji 💩 -"Looks like I put a prompt ""Make a picture of a depressed mole in a jacket"" in chatgpt" -Jabba The Butt -You look like an AI generated “Fat LeBron at a European truck stop”. -Kanye in 5 years. -B.O. cloak activated -OMG they black faced Kenny!! -I loved u as the worm in Dune -I can literally smell the smoked blunt in this picture -DJ Khaled’s fatter brother -Jive Ewok -Your hoodie size must be a quadratic equation -"Dollar Tree Yeezy - -Rick Roll Ross" -You look like an Ewok who ate all the other Ewoks -"Damn bro, wash up a little" -The offspring of a Jawa and Jabba the Hutt. -You look like a human snorlax -"""OH MY GOD! THEY FED KENNY!!""" -Abdullah the Baker -It’s that “post-dad going out for milk” weight -You look like you smell like what you look like -How many cheese puffs have been lost forever in that bleak void you call a beard? -Caseoh black edition 💀💀 -Dudes hands look like someone inflated a rubber glove. -You somehow look like a donut and a donut hole at the same time. -The Kung Food Panda. -"""It’s gotta be laughable"" Or what you'll eat me?" -You fit the description of someone the police are looking for -Quest Love if his parents never loved him and were always in prison. -I’d roast you but then from whom am I going to get my drugs? -Oprah and Mr T got it on. -Nigga you look like you ate Smokey the Bear just so that you could keep all the forest honey to yourself whicho fatass. And then you use the the fires from the forest fires to light yo blunts -The Notorious P.I.G. -Not sure why adidas sold one of their hoodies to you. You bring disgrace to the brand. -Dude probably thinks roasting involves marshmallows. -Hurry and order your food it looks like your tits are trying to eat your hoodie hahaha -My man dressed like the poop emoji 💩 -"If there was ever a real-life version of Kung-Fu Panda, you would be the panda." -Bruno bigger than mars -Ur pronouns are chicken/nugget -How much you charge for a cigarette outisde the stores? -My guy looking like the offspring of a bear & Chewbacca -"If I ask an AI to make Drake look old, retired, and heavyset, this is what it would output." -"Your face says it all, somebody just ordered the last piece of chicken right before your eyes..." -Who do I roast you or the guy in your stomach -"After you have defeated all the Ewoks, you must face the Boss Ewok." -I used to have that exact same bean bag chair when I was a kid -U look like a baby man child 🤧 🤢with your plump fingers -"Geez, they're even making the kool-aid man black now?" -I made a mistake when I created you -You are literally twice the man I am. You can sell shade and retire now -You look like you rap about cookies. -Dj Khalid trying to get free chicken fingers at the homeless shelter -"You look like you talk seductively to your food while you over-season it with ridiculous toppings. - -""Stuff a few Twix's in this sexy glistening turkey here Mmmm then add some chocolate icing on the ribs. Woooooh!! I'm boutta fuck this up""" -"You look like a sensitive guy, you probably offer cab fare to the women you assault" -Bro looks like Winnie the Splooge -Nah. Can't. You look teddy bear adorable -No I don’t want to buy any of your pencils. -Rosa parks say at the back of the bus so that guys like you have more seats to sit on -That’s a roast that’ll feed a family of 12 -Hoodies: The “gangsta” solution to hiding shameful bodies. -Jawa from Star wars. But the one that has to ride in the back.  -Picture looking like AI made it -"For a second, I thought that picture was AI generated" -Now go and fly back to endor -you look like a drug dealer. except for dealing drugs you deal cheese burgers -Bro makes B.I.G look like he fasted -"Finally, after all these years, its the actual Burger King-Breaker of Chairs, Lard of the Fed Men, Devourer of Meals" -How did you train that giant skin tag to hold that “roast me” sign? -Well look at this...Trayvon and kimbo slice all rolled up in one little adorable package -You look like me if I ate myself 12 times and was named Sandeep -roasted? you look deep fried. -I feel like smokin a black and mildly advanced -Druski’s half brother.. Ewwwski -DJ Khaled's doppelganger: Even Sadder DJ Khaled -Have nothing mean to say bro. Take care. Wish you good health and happiness. :) -Biz Markie-Khalifa -You look like you ate the sphere at the Venetian resort. Now roll away. -It’s a roast me pic not a mugshot -How can you get roasted when you're already burned? -not a roast but i thought you were christian wilkins -Odell beckham is that you? Man you put on some pounds! -Rap name: Tater Thot -I doubt there's a roast that you're too good for. -If you’re looking for laughable just look in the mirror -Bro paid 5$ to take a pic of this homeless -You look like biggie smalls if he came from wish -If An Ewok and DJ Khalid had a baby with missing chromosomes. -You look like a burnt Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. -"If you ever go bankrupt, knit that wool from your face and sell the products on e-bay." -Did you steal those sausages that are holding that piece of paper? -Fat Black Orko -Quest Loves Fried Chicken a Little Too Much -All Day I Dream About (Being) Sodomized. -If you could take a picture of despair and foot stank -Frizi prat sabreenka Phylanx chacha. Freebata srinkacha malamala spratnu bala kaaatan chara-chara mak. -Your face is more roasted than your hands -Bro looks like a cross between a strawberry dipped in peanut butter and grandpas testicle. -Broke-ass Ricky Williams -You look like an even more depressed Rod Wave -Sitting there looking like an uncircumcised dyick -Roast you ? You look like you’d take 3 hours at 220 degrees/gas mark 7 -You look like a marshmallow that got roasted. -Bro u look roasted enough -"Give me about seventeen or eighteen years, gotta run out for milk and cigarettes" -You look like a white guy doing blackface. -Face Seems like baldness in púbic area -You look like the boss Jawa. -If Fanum keeps Taxing -"I haven't got the heart, you are too pitiful." -"Just don’t carry any Skittles with that hoodie, and you’ll be fine." -Roast potato -I thought this was ai generated -"The true fate of Chef from South Park was that he became a bum who hangs out at the library. - -Your hands are so white they got the job offer while the rest of you got rejected. - -You said “catch these hands” and nobody was scared because they’re white. - -I’m going to call you Mickey Mouse because you have a black face and white puffy hands. - -Your beard is patchy like your employment history. - -When the vitalago spread to your nuts, your ex-girlfriend went from calling them Milk Duds to yoghurt raisins. - -Your clothes are designed for sweat but the only fluid they see is gravy." -Has never made his monthly quota selling used droids on Tatooine. -Looking like a overweight black thought -That's the store you set up to resell stolen CVS merchandise  -"You look like a giant, unkept scrotum <3" -Are you an Ewok? -It’s like a Wookie fucked an Ewok -?uest Love carbs. -Sucked the black right off his fingers. -Reverse CaseOh -"All - -Day - -I - -Dream - -About - -Snacks" -Chilling at a Hallmark. Aight g. -john never cena gym -You look like a burnt teddy graham🧸 -Looks like u need to poop by the look on ur face 😂 -Winnie Da Blues -Alanis Morisette! Alaaaanis Morisette. Alaaaanis Morisette! Alanis Morisette. -Kanye South -The game turned into the shame -i know it smell crazy under those sweat pants -Rick Bras -The game before the fame -You look like the saddest ewok -You look like an Ewok. -"Rick Slice, tearing up discount buffet near you!" -Maybe you're related to that giant worm in the movie that digs under the sand to find and eat people -Ahoi Captain Public Beard -Darth stank -Looks like someone inverted the colours on a picture of cartman -DJ CollardGreens -"Fat Albert but sad, so Fat Sad Albert" -bruh comes to the show looking like a used grimace butt plug asking to be roasted. I don't think the audience could take the vapors that come after. We ain't pulling no flaming bag of pooh games up in here. Becides we roast this man any further he's gonna need to smile to be found after dark and right now I'm afraid his cheeks would crack from the attempt. -See? Next time you'll listen when your mother tells you to wash your face before you eat her out right after getting all that sticky grape drank all over your face. -This mo fuckka sits on toilets and gets stuck on em -Caesoh -I can hear you wheezing thru my phone !!! -Questloaf -Are you a skeleton because I bet u don’t have the guts to do anything  -Must be cold there to wear 300lbs of fat AND a hoodie. -I don’t want drugs -Prince Charles Fingers - As seen in Nevada's All You Can Eat Buffet Black Book -"You look like an I don’t care bear… - -Looks like the sigh your holding should read “anything helps” - -“All day I dream about sausage” - -Quit pretending you ordered a salad" -Over stuffed Build a Bear -James Harden if he wasn’t successful -"This is his album cover, the name of it ""struggle bars"" -Let's give him some funny song names. -1. Struggle Cypher." -You look like a burnt potato -Samsquanch. -"It takes about 22 hours to roast a hog 180lbs, so give it a few days" -Proof that food stamps are fattening -DJ Khaled and Ron Funches had a kid -Rick Ross fell off -U that one friend that smells like ass everytime -Yo belly button probably nasty as hell on the inside -Don’t post on here if it’s gotta be laughable bro you look sad enough😭 -Looks like you cry when you feed the geese -God already roasted your parents by making you their child. Your family has been through enough -Look it’s black caseoh -Did you steal a white guy's hands..? -Bro looks like he eat the entire McDonald’s franchise -The Game sponsored by diabetes awareness campaign -This is like If Chef from South Park pretended to be Kenny.... -"Kimbo's brother, Grabba Slice." -You got the hands of a white man -DID I MENTION THEY STANK -Fraud Wave -The fuck is Rick Ross doing on this page? -No roast left. You ate it all -Grizzly where your lemmings? -Sumo Threewok -A human traffic cone! -Was trying to look gangsta but pulled off looking homeless instead. -Looks like the Ewok that has to sit at the back of the speeder -Niggoh (caseoh but black) -Knockoff wish Rick Ross asking to be roasted haha okay 😂 -Jane Goodall probably followed him around for a few days -Nigga ate my bike -The face you make when they cut you off from the soft serve. -"King Charles called. Something, something, fingers back." -"Can't your gold, you got ""IT"" bro own it." -You look like a fat Rick Ross. -You like you sweat whenever you write a check -Slug Knight -Bro's belt is the size of J1407B's rings💀💀 -Kaynye Messt -Oh this must be one of those new Kerwin Frost happy meal toys!!! -Bro you're in shape! And that shape is round. -You still got your feet or did the diabetes already taken them? -"You look like you’re part of an overweight, terrorist organization…al-quesadilla" -Bruh you look like CaseOh little brother. -Nope not gonna do it! You peoplle that want to be roasted thatbsre so damn ugly i just got to ask. Why? -"I loved you in the movie ""Precious.""" -We just found Freddy Fazbear -"*pokes you in your fat belly* - -Aren't you supposed to laugh?" -Impossible. There is nothing humorous about you -Roast you? You look like you've eaten a few too many roasts this week already. -ET properly let himself go after the Spielberg work dried up -The bmi of your hands are concerning. -Came here to roast you but I see you’ve already eaten it -"Bruh. Looking like black Uncle Fester wit yo hairy ass. Big ass beard, I bet yo ankles is hairy" -How are Merry and Pippen? -Only laughable thing here are the numbers on a scale when you step on it -You look like Kanye’s inner voice. -You look like CC Sabathia just gave up on shit. -Your rapper name is Biggie Smells. -You look like an unbaked wheat roll with eyes. -James Hardontimes -You’re built like a Hershey Kiss in human form -James Hardened Arteries -You look like Ron Funches' depressed cousin -Gumbo slice -I thought Grimace was purple? -"Palms are sweaty -Definitely did not vomit up mom’s spaghetti" -“We have Notorious B.I.G at home” -"You look like you’re related to Quest Love. -You must be his cousin QuestionAble." -Type “pizza gator” into Reddit. That’s you -How to roast a SP character that dies every episode. -South Park has a new Chef in training! Finally! -Snuffalupagus has fallen on some hard times my dude. -Kimbo 24 Slice -Rick not a lot of boss Ross -"""Roast me! It's gotta be laughable"" - -...so just like you then?" -Sugar knight -I think you’ve had enough roast buddy. -U look like u got that same beard on ur ass hair too -Hiding that hairline and gut about as well as an elephant behind a desk lamp. -Tyler Perry presents Hungry Hungry Hippos -3 Stripe No-Life -NaseOh (Lite) -For you that adidas shirt stands for All Day I Dream About Snacks -All Day I Dream About Sausages -"You look like you keep it real.. you don't sugar coat anything.. except your breakfast, lunch and dinner" -You have Cheeto crumbs in your beard. They aren’t orange because you already sucked the cheese dust off of them. -It's cool to have a chance to roast Michelle Obama's clit -"Introducing the newest rapper on the scene, Mo Mealz!!!" -Wouldn't it be better to either FLOG yourself or hire a DOMINATRIX who where's leather in order to hold the farts in! -Dollar store David Lucas looking ass. -If the President of Fast Food secrets club Jordan the Stallion went off the rails and did the supersize me challenge. -You look like a Diabetes Hub.. -Forbidden love child of a wookie and an ewok -How many pounds of chicken can you eat? -Madea goes homeless -You look like Odell Beckham Junior after being stung by a colony of hornets. -How the hell do you have hands 5 shades lighter than your head? -Bro holding that like a mugshot sign… not your first time eh? -WHY...You got the only hoody with a foreskin! -Kimbo slice of pizza -Ooh...ooh terio all grown up -This is WEEKND's cousin The WRKWEEK -"Roast you?? Like all the women on the planet, I don't want anything to do with you. Got the nerve to wear brown, looking like a piece of shit with hair and eyes on it. Go wipe yourself and toss yourself in the toilet and flush fat boy." -Clearly you have never been swimming before. Because it's never been more than 30 minutes you have eaten something -Get outta here with fake hands -There is so much sadness in your eyes.. Can’t do it. Take care of yourself please -Are you wearing blackface or did you steal a white mans hands?? -Where’s the alligator? -My boy looking like chocolate grimace from McDonalds -Looks like an ewok in a ground beef colored hoodie -This is one half of the “here’s what case-oh would look like if he were black or Chinese” tweet -If an Ewok and Notorious B. I. G had a baby -Suge Not -Someone Photoshop this dude into a totem -Only thing laughable is you walking a flight of stairs -You look like my garbage man. He’s a cool dude though. -"Rick Ross, the sauce boss" -Kanye molest -“Where my hug at?” -You look like the type of dude that gets caught sniffing bike seats outside Krispy Kreme. -Love your song Set adrift on a memory bliss! -NO un-solicited dick pictures in this group please! -Diversity Smurf -Oh bother…you look like you lost your honey pot. -There’s too much of you to roast -Ghetto Grimace -Congratulations on weight loss edp keep it up -"When childish Gambino grows up and gets all too real. - -This is America" -You are a beautiful human being -"If you don’t get yo, I’m Drake but I’m big wave head ass out of here" -Dude drop the hoodie before they catch you !!! -Your hands have a higher credit score than your face -If you were to have a McDonald’s acc you would have 2 million points in an hour at McDonald’s bc bro literally ordered everything  -You look like your mom just said you can't go to Build-A-Bear Workshop -You look like a shit midjourney prompt. -black caseOh -Caseohs black cousin -So **THIS** is why Kanye doesn’t wanna be seen in public -"He holding a 11 x17 piece of paper yo, it only look like a note card. be nice." -"tbf, roasting you would take a few months" -You don't got what I need with yo broke biz markie looking ass -You look like you’re training to fight diabetes -Look like the lead singer of hip hop cover band Can’t Run DMC. -No -Stop putting AI images of Winnie the Pooh in Detroit here! They go in Detroit and die Reddit. -Monke -You look like an extra in Tyler Perry’s Homeless Movie -He looks like a grown up Darwin from amazing world of gumball -You look like the Walmart version of a Lowe’s greeter. -"Dj Khaleds brother, homeless khaled" -"Are we allowed to make non roast comments? I just gotta say this photo made me realize just how good cameras have gotten on our phones, even for a simple photo like this it looks so good. Smile or trim your beard or whatever, just to add some sort of insult I guess" -Rick Mosque. -Kimbo Spice -Jabba the Hut needs a Job and a Cut -"Chef has gone down hill since he left South Park... -🎶Say everybody have you seen my balls -They're big and salty and brown!! -If you ever need em' quick, -Pick me up -Just stick my balls in your mouth🎶" -"Me: I wanna go see Rick Ross - -Mom: we have Rick Ross at home" -Obese mc ride -"Dude goes "" mugshot "" even without the context" -75ct -"Roasting you would just be adding salt to an already overcooked steak, besides it looks like life did that already…" -"If I knew you, I’d try to make you laugh, I bet you light the place up when you’re smiling. Wait, this isn’t how this works is it?" -DJ Nah Lad -"Wow, thats a lot of cotton." -"Hey I guess I now know who stole my vacuum cleaner. It was obviously you. I know you've been using it to suck in your double chins, but that might actually work if you stopped shovelling pizza and fried chicken down your throat. Now how about you go back to my house and put my vacuum cleaner back where it's supposed to be." -You look like the game crossed with maxo kream. -Dark Caseoh -"If you were living in the Star Wars universe, you'd be a Jawataburger" -You seem like the kind of person who would work out just so they can eat bullcrap after and say their cheat day -Nice chubby -“you got any games on your phone?” all grown up -Kanye (middle) East -The game and Michelin man combined -Potato about to get roasted -"Well I mean to start you look like a depressed teddy bear. How does your beard grow in everywhere but the middle. - -That loose ass adidas hoodie don’t hide the fact you ain got a lick of athleticism in you, at all. Your fingers look like sausages so I know you really just fat. You not built like anything and just “hold weight” you really juss fat as hell. I’m 340 so maybe even bigger than you and my fingers let alone hands or arms look like that shit. - -You look like an Ewok in that hoodie. Your beard don’t hide the double chin, I can just look at you and know it’s there, and im feeling like you ain show us your hair for a reason. Just please be older than 35 if you can do anything." -"You look like your own mother crossed to the other side of the hospital room, clutching tight her purse in a tremble hoping not to get robbed as the doctor nervously held out his wallet, when you came out the womb." -You look like how an AI would draw an American. -You look like you just completed a very slow smash and grab at Apple -"Lookin like a tollbooth ass, Beanie Bagel homie Costway jihad beard havin doo doo brown hoodie knowin you got skids on them drawes to match swipe left to live crusty lip subscription to ointment needin bum ass poopy head" -"You remind me of my old friends, we met on a ark survival server. It’s it you kuma jo?" -This is the mechanic for all the halal trucks -You look like a raisin that hasn’t quite raisined! -whats poppin scruffycheeks -Lmao….you ate part of the receipt. -Lookin like a milkdude that feel onto a wet floor covered in pubes -"All this time, Bigfoot has been at a fast food spot and has tiny hands. No wonder nobody had spotted him." -Beanie Sigel really fell off.... -You do built like caseOh if he was black -What ?? Roast you ?? You've got to be one dumbass motherfucker to ask such stupid shit so go do yourself a favor & go fuck your girlfriend and if you don't I will !!!!! -Sitting there like a freshly baked croissant -Dude is homeless and had to fake an injury to get a meal at the hospital. -Your shaped like a deep breath -"You remind me of when that one kid in shop in the queue (with his mum), when mum says “I’ve gotta get some milk, be right back!” and you’re next." -💩 -"Wow, you look like you’re having an allergic reaction to a bee sting. Those fingers are about to pop." -Blud looks ai generated💀 -James Harden if he blew out his knee in high school -U look like a happy person that is sad. Burn that shirt and buy a colorful one -A blind jawa? I dont see any lights in there. -"Just to clarify....if it's not laughable, ur not gonna eat me, are ya?" -Dayum fat albert looks grumpy with a beard -"If ""you gon finish that"" was a person" -A few more years and your beard and eyebrows will connect. -comment -Who are your parents? I'm guessing Steve Buscemi and a woman who also looks like Steve Buscemi. -Are those 2 million YouTube subscribers in the room with us right now? -“2 million subscribers on YouTube” = “Please god let someone recognize me for once” -"I love your videos, man. Keeps me motivated to keep doing what I'm doing ... but then again, I smoke meth and huff paint thinner." -You look like when the morning after pill almost works -"I don't know which way you transitioned, but congrats 👍" -Please shave that tuft of pubic hair off your chin -You look like you lose your shit when mom forgets the bagel bites and pizza rolls. -When the top half of the face looks like a victim and the bottom half of the face looks like the predator -The Real Sully G as if someone wants to impersonate you. -Can you not afford a razor or a haircut with 2 million followers? -Hit the bellend icon if you want to be kept up to date with this complete nobhead. -Two million people who like to make themselves feel better by watching someone who's even more of a loser than they are -"This is so sad, it's actually heartbreaking" -You look like somebody that would be on epsteins flight logs -It looks like you trimmed your balls and glued the hair on your face. -"You look like the targeted audience for "" RAID ; SHADOW LEGENDS """ -That's a face that needs a skip button. -Translation: Give me stuff to talk about for my shitty YouTube channel -Aka Johnny Depprecated -You look like a police artists descriptive drawing of the guy hanging out outside the playground with a trenchcoat -You can afford a 3.5k Otamatone yet you can't afford rent... -Weird Al Yank-my-dick! -"I bet your parents can't live within 1,000ft of a school" -Your beard looks like it's trying to escape your face -"Youtuber, 2 million bot network, 200k in debt from liberal art degree and OF credit card donations." -"Don’t worry, your parents are also still trying to figure out how to monetise you." -You look like you’re suffering from lowest T -2 million people wants to know its safe for their children -You look like what a Best Buy Geek Squad employee sees when he blinks -"If I knew using the most ear-grinding instrument next to the recorder would get you 2 million subs, I would've tapped that market back when Gangam Style was big and live off the royalties." -"My gran can grow more facial hair than that sorry excuse for a beard you've got going on your chin - -Edit: and it sure as fuck looks better on her than it looks on you too" -You look like a genetic clone of a teenage Weird Al -"Do you intro yourself like that everywhere? - - Like if you get a cup of coffee, are you so insecure that you tell them ""I'll have a weak warm brown water because I have 2 million subscribers...?""" -I'd rather roast your parents for not kicking you out to be a really real adult by now. -"Having 2 subscribers with ""million"" in their username doesn't count as having 2 million subscribers." -Gary Sinise-ter -Yep pics match the description -How late do your parents let you stay out? I bet at LEAST 10pm now huh? -Your doorknob is going to wear fewer socks than Oscar Pistorius -Mr Pringles -I didn’t think it was possible for someone’s eyes to be lower than the amount of people who cared about your sssniperwolf tweets. -You look like Weird Al had a physical parody of himself made -26 going on 46 -You look like you talk to minors -I look forward to watching Turkey Toms video on you when the allegations inevitably comes to light. -With facial hair like that you should of named your YouTube account Doctor Unconnected -Any more roast me and I will have to break down and get a flamethrower from Amazon. The only reputable source for those kind of things . -The YouTuber who makes top 10 creepy internet mysteries even tho he is a Creepy internet mystery. -id have that many subscribers too if i looked like sid from ice age. -Dammit Morty -Your channel must be full of lists -lol I thought you were 50 -So when are you going to Chris Chan your mom? -Having a billy bob mask will not make your life more fulfilling -"You squeeze musical notes for a living, and your unshaven pubescence bumfluff still lingers on your face because your poor financial decisions prevent you from ever being able to afford a proper razor - -/j, obviously because I love all of your content! Keep it up, man!" -"If Otamatones didn't exist, neither would your career. Bigger coattail rider than any of Mr. Beast's friends/disciples" -This free material here won't get you laid -Bro looks like topher grace less known brother -What's it like knowing nobody important in your life cares about what you're doing? -You look paler than the milk my dad went out for -You look like Steve Buscemi had a bastard lovechild with Harry Potter. -"Giving me ""mom, bathroom, bathroooom"" vibes here." -2 million YouTube subscribers and still can't attract a woman under 65. -2 mil? Dam can't hate on that but also how -I can't believe two million people want to learn how to become a low value male. -"Out of those 2 million, how many would show up to your funeral?" -When those 2 million realize you’re not Steve Buscemi they’re going to be disappointed. -How financially inept are you that you have 2M subscribers and still live at home? -1.9m of the subs are paid for. -you gotta stop blowing all that ad revenue on OnlyFans bruh -"2,000,001 more reasons to go to mars with elon" -You definitely aren’t allowed within 2km of a school or a playground -"AWP -Always -Wearing -Plaid" -Was there a challenge where you transplant your pubichair to the chin when you reach 2 million subscribers? Or was it 12 subscribers? -Steve Bulscimia -S'up Patchy? -"I can excuse the parents, but only 2 mill? I guess the honking doesn't pay much, huh" -No King.I refuse. -That’s just tragic af. You should have enough money to «not look like that» and «not live with your parents» -"If you are living in the basement, where do you keep the children?" -Steve Buscemi’s ugly illegitimate son. -If I got given $100000 for every nice thing I could say about you… I’d be homeless. -You look like arin Hanson's reflection in a mirror at a fun house -weird al yankalot -How much time are you allowed out of your cranial support helmet? -I think he said he has 3somes with his parents in their basement -Get a job first. -Didn’t know 2 million subscribers was the same way as saying 87.5k. No wonder you still live at home with your parents you can’t count -Who? -Those 2 million subscribers are just bot accounts created by your mother because she feels bad for you. -"You look like the sorta dude who's parents would pay for 2 million subs to get you out the basement. - -Edit: after looking at your YouTube channel. I stand with my assumption." -just go to your comment section. why come all the way to reddit? -I assume your handshake is so weak I’m actually impressed you can hold that sign. Is it taped to your palm? -"Oh God... I knew I recognized the name... I've listened to two of his covers. TBH ""take on me"" wasn't bad" -You look like you should be on a Register somewhere -"Can you like, hook me up with a fan base? - -Nah really. My fan fell over and busted. The base is cracked and it doesn't sit right anymore. This winter's been really hot so... Yeah." -"You look 26… - - - - -Minutes away from dying" -"The roast here is that you posted a comment on a viral video (matpat) - -And now you’re here in attempt to further your exposure. - -*slow clap* - -You won’t fool me but I salute you for your efforts." -I see you glued some pubes on your chin as a beard. Are they yours or did your bf gave you some? -"You've definitely fucked one of your Otamotones - -Love your content btw" -"Man looks like he took up instruments to pick up chicks .... chick .... anyone .... welp another couple years wasted. - - - -Man looks like the guy they tell you to keep away from at a party, ""no one invited him, he just turned up"" - - - -Man looks like he makes meth not content - - - -man looks like the next ""This youtuber tried to graft a minor"" Thumbnail - - - -Man looks like that that smell u get after forgetting to shower for a week ... month .... year . - - - - -Man looks like his first time was with his grandama . - - - - -Lots of love, congrats on the hard work and how well youve done on a heavily competative platform ... you fking incel." -Congrats on 2 million bro that's huge 👏 🙌 -"Man you are a loser! I moved back into my parents attic with zero online engagement in my 30s and I'm happier than a pig in shit. Takes serious mooching to get this down. Cmon dude you can do better than this. Dust yourself down, pick yourself up. If those 2 million subs can't tell you this what did you build? Build something more substantial" -i’ve never heard of you. frankly i don’t care either. -"Don’t you get tired of eating bologna? -Just kidding dude! Stay there. It cost to much under Biden to afford rent or a mortgage." -Get a real job. Just kidding. Honestly I can’t think of anything to roast. You reached a goal that many want and work toward and will definitely hate on you for reaching it. You have supportive parents and content creation is a real job people just don’t realize it lol. So get a ReAl jOb -I am surprised you didn’t display put your simp-ly fabulous ponytail. -You: “Reddit clout=validation” -Who? -"All 2 million of your imaginary subscribers all agree your ""Weird Al"" Yankovic career is over and to slither back to your cage in your parent's basement where you belong" -"Everything about you, your life, and this post is fake. It's not a roast as much as it is fact. Go fuck your mother." -"Let me put this in a language you’ll understand: -Wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah, wah wah." -You look like the off-brand dollar store Marc Rebillet -2 million subscribers and still can’t get pussy -Get a job loser -My grandma has more facial hair than you. -The facial hair of a thirteen year old. -The image that smells of cum socks. -2 million subscribers watch the OP jerk off daily. -“Hello fellow kids” -Wait aren't you that guy who plays with a kidstoy and gog irrelevant years ago ? -Not worth a roast. -Spectacle wearing shell less tortoise looking mofo -2 million little boys that’ll expose you in 3 years I suspect -Bro spent all his money on his gaming chair -I remember this guy -Looks like a really ugly 15 year old girl with a fake ‘stache and soul patch -"You did not have to tell us you live in parents basement, we already knew." -Wannabe jacksepticeye -2 million drunk people clicked on like and subscribe -Oh look a content farmer. Watch in awe as he gets abused for content. -"Oh hey, I know you! You’re that guy who plays otomatones!" -Jacksepticeye from wish.com -Rich bastard get roasted ;(..... -Beard - when you drop lollipop on carpet -the Otamatone has more personality then you. -You could fuel a jet with the amount of grease in your hair. -You look like the version of Shaggy that deals people weed -You should get the rest of the gerbil you retrieved from a subscriber off of your face that’s not fur. P.S. it smells -Subscribers don't pay the rent? -Your mouth looks like a woman's bush after a failed Brazilian wax. -Mom you messed up my laundry again now I’ll never get a girlfriend. -Please stop trying to grow whatever that is on your face. It’s embarrassing. -I didn't know 2 million people watch a dipshit drooling. -You look like you groom kids into topping you -"2 million subscribers that you bought, whoever you are. They’re bots, right? Ваши роботы говорят по-русски? Whatever it is that male virgins do to become popular with other young male virgins these days." -Even your chin hairs are receding -I’m not even roasting when I say I have no clue who this . 2 million ? Who is this guy ? He’s gotta make mine craft content or something childish -Can’t roast you. You make three times my income in that basement. I imagine you run some kind of gooning channel. Looks like you got in on the ground floor too. -you get paid to make poor financial decisions and buy a 50th kirby otamatone while i am too poor to think about it -"26, sure" -I doubt there's 2 million people watchin you stick things up your ass all day online.. -"""I have 2 million subs"" - This is your personal identity." -I thing you need 3 Brazilian subscribers just beacasuse of how beautiful you are!!!! -"Well, it's a great way to save money. If you are pulling good money, soon you should be able to move." -"Damn, 2 Million followers and Harry's Razors sponsorships didn't come through? You might be the one person RAID - SHADOW LEGENDS turned down." -"Yo mama so kind, she let you live in her basement! 😏gotem" -weird al creepo'vich -Incest result -2 million subscribers but only 1000 of them watch your videos -Your family history doesn't include a 20th century German dictator and a bunch of cows by any chance? -That so-called Goatee is weaker than my spice tolerance (I can barely eat pepper without needing milk) -"""Master has given Dobbie content!""" -Who!? -"Step 1: Apply glue stick to chin and mouth area -Step 2: Fling pubic hair trimmings directly at face." -Who!? -Low budget bootleg ass Joshua Wiseman looking ass. -2 million subs and still no friends -I CANNOT participate.... Too easy. -i am speechless. you look reversed. that is all. -Hey! It's Phil! ...Paedo-Phil. -2 million subs and not a single one of them is a female that would sleep with you. -2 million bots on youtube -"No roast here, just saying I love seeing your YIAY submissions and everything you’ve done with/for Jacksfilms!" -Wait till you get laid one day. You’re gonna love losing your cherry. Good luck. -Adolph Hipster -You look like you found your beard on a barbers floor and stuck it to your incel face -Having your parents create fake accounts to bump up your numbers huh? -"I understand that it's really impressive that you can put your thumb in your mouth, blow real hard and grow pubic hair on your face but it's really not worth the effort." -You look like a Bond villain's IT guy -Who the fook is that guy? -Are your subscribers anthropologists? -What a hack. Come up with your own material. -The guy that corners you at a party with suspiciously fleshed-out opinions on the ethics of AI generated child porn -2 million subscribers.... goes to show there's still lots of pitiful people on the internet who will do anything to lift up a fellow - even if it means degrading their YouTube algorithm -"Just can't roast you, you have mastered everything." -Did your mommy and daddy pay for 2 million bot accounts? -"Spending the YouTube funds to get better equipment rather than going out on your own,yeah?" -The ladies call you Elijah Would Not -Who tf are you -I think you roasted yourself -Buying 2 million subscribers was hard on your mom’s retirement fund . Weird Al Yanks his Crank keeps coming to mind . -I got nothing. You roasted yourself by being born. -Go get a real job and get out of your mom's basement -"I found your channel u/TheRealSullyG... You are this generations version of Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip." -"I subscribe to your channel. If you know my taste in content, that is not a compliment." -Ball sack chin. -His parents have been dead for 5 years. He had them mounted on the wall opposite his bed so he can finish-off on mom’s slippers. -You look like you e got 4 eyebrows -"The head phones are so your parents upstairs don’t hear your virtual anime girlfriend moaning about how much she loves you? - -And the sound proofing on the walls is so they don’t hear you moaning about how you love her too." -"Oh look! - -The Apple and PC guys finally had a kid! - -https://youtu.be/0eEG5LVXdKo?si=g84-SY4XrgtSKLM5" -This is what happens Weird Al has a love child with every member of Weezer at the same time. -Macaulay Culkin cosplaying as a musketeer. -You know this dude cranks it while filming. -Congratulations. -2 million and I still don’t know who you are -Bro all ya have to do is adjust that wig and you'll be looking good. -You look like bbno$’s Less cool younger brother -"maybe you can use your royalties to buy a shed , you’ll have a room addition . that way in case any of them get away, maybe they won’t know they were in a basement" -Most accurate post title vs. image on this sub I’ve seen. This is exactly what I’d expect a person in this situation to look like. -"You roasted yourself, we're done here. See title." -"marty feldman and steve buscemi had a love child ,,,,," -Weirder Al -WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH -That chairs not the only secret in this pic. -You look like Steve Buscemi had a sex change. -You look exactly like what I imagine a loser who still lives in their parents basement looks like. -"You’re going to put the responses on your channel aren’t you. - -As a Jojo fan I can’t roast you. You are automatically a man of culture." -you’d knock a shit eatin dog off a gut wagon -"I have that same shirt, gave $5 at Kohl's for it" -"Don't lie, you're the streamer's brother. Sitting in his chair. - - -Whatever you did to Shaggy's beard, stop it. - - -Your sister's frames don't look as good on you as you think." -did someone slap you on the back when you were making that face? -Another pasty that fell off a nipple from lack of Vitamin D. -Bro we don't want to see your pubes -"""King of The Otamatones"" RealSullyG is this really you? -I'm your biggest fan!!" -Oh shit a youtuber huh? Awesome man! How long till your trial for soliciting minors? -Asmon? -2 million subs and and stills a virgin -Tbh I also wouldn't leave my parents basement if I looked like that... -Suppose I’d be stuck in my parents basement if I spent all my money mass-buying bot subscribers too -"26 years old, 2 million bot followers on YouTube, and living with parents who wonder how 2 million subscribers doesn't translate to making enough money to afford a small cheap apartment every month." -Who? -The Tinder post on his page is fucking hilarious. All the roasting he needs. -It’s rather poetic that you mooch off your parents and you’re now here mooching on Reddit for content. -Ya look like yer 3 punches in yer mothers pregnant belly from bein Steve Buschemi. -You look like what would happen if Steve Buscemi and Willie Nelson had a baby and threw it against a wall. -😂😂 -You look like the gay love child of Gene Shalit and Leonard Maltin -2 million subscribers all under the age of 12 -"You look like you are on SEVERAL lists, and I can't tell which one you got on first." -"You're living in your parents' basement, but your parents are buried in the back yard." -Otamatone guys reached a new low -2 million people watching your interview with Chris Hanson doesn't make them subscribers. -The 1st Influencer / Owner of OnlyNerds -"A bunch of Kleenex full of jizz is NOT ""2 million subscribers""." -Imagine having 2 million subscribers and STILL seeking attention from internet strangers -Bro has enough incel hair to make me unattracitve and I'm build like chris hemsworth -"Someone asking you ""iS tHiS gOnNa Be PoStEd On YoUtUbE?"" probably makes you cum." -Please shave -I can’t even roast u about living in ur parnets basemnt with this economy 😭 -"Hi I’m Chris Hanson, why don’t you take a seat?" -You look like the guy who touched me as a child. -Is that a goozle -imagine playing with literal balls for a living -you simultaneously look like a 10 year old boy ***and*** the church janitor who touched him. -“Still asks mommy for chicken nuggets and still has the weekly conversation with his dad about finding a real job.” -"I'll tune in to watch the downfall videos about you when they begin trending, they will be more interesting than your content." -It’s not our fault the only voice we recognize is through a Otamatone. -"When your brother, David Spade, is the talented one in the family..." -Even Jim Jones's followers were eventually given the sweet release of death. -You look like a FTM 😂 -Is this the dude who beat the shit out of his alcoholic stepdad? -Dr. NoRespect -Otacon -"Imagine having 2 million subscribers, and still nobody has a clue who you are." -1.999 million bots and his mother -You’re human RAID for pussies. -Looks like 40 yeas virgin for me -You strike me as a connoisseur of tentacle porn. -How do you have 2 million subs and I’ve never heard of you? Absolutely tragic. -When a GameStop employee evolves -Wish Steve Buscemi -How the fugg do you get 2mill subscribers from otamatone videos. This world has gone to shit. Much like your hopes of growing noteworthy facial hair. -Is it too late to order The Imitation Sully G? -You look like you wanted to be kidnapped and your parents forgot they left you in their basement. -You must have a large family is 2 mil of them are subscribers -You look like a less Ricky Berwick -"Jesus dude, have some self respect. With a decent haircut, a shave, and halfway fashionable clothes you might actually get laid sometime this decade." -You look like the type of dud to devote his career to glorified musical moaning machines. -Weird al wanking it -That facial hair (if you can call it that) could make a peodphile jealous. -Looks like the kind of guy that would start a conversation with what you’re attracted to sexually. -DanTDM but from Alabama -You have very kind eyes -2million fellow parents basement dwellers can’t be …? -You left out not allowed within 500ft of schools or parks. -Roast yourself some more hookers and blow -your channel will actual have some decent content now -"Your face was made for podcasts, not video…how much does it cost to buy 2 million subscribers nowadays?" -Can’t believe you are flexing rn. -The middle aged woman in you is ready to come out as soon as you shave. -"Saying you play an instrument and showing off an otamatone, is like saying you play a sport, but you’re really on the bowling team" -You are 26 an still living in your parent’s basement. -The otamatone: For when running a cat through a garbage disposal just isn't unpleasant enough to listen to. -You did great @ plucking your eyebrows! -Macaulay Culkin got another job? I thought you was still home alone. -Dudes that look like this measure success by how many internet friends they have. -You look like you put otomatone's up there. -26 or 36? -Who? -Is your entire YouTube about sharing the struggles of being a M.A.P? -If your eyes tried a little harder they would disappear -I think I seen this dude on the registry -Just lookin the mirror and let your imagination run wild -I saw your youtube channel. How did you find 2 million idiots who like lame shit? -My boy out here looking like the Kid Rock preemie baby. -You look like you will always live w your parents -Who are you? -In 10 years all that will have changed out of the things in the title is that you'll be 36 -You look as if Weird Al had a lovechild with his own ennui. -You creep out actual perverts -you look like the before picture in a D.A.R.E pamphlet -You look like you wanted a receipt after buying a donut -2 million viewers on Youtube? Possible. 4 million viewers on Twitch? Maybe. 1 Viewer on OnlyFans? Never even if hell freezes over. -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->I love rollerblading with my dog. Petting my two kitties.🥰🖤 I also love going camping and traveling. ->One of my favorite movies is Braveheart gone with the wind, pride and prejudice. Also, the Barbie movie was fun. ->My Instagram is scarlette_jay2022 for more roast inspo lol -> -> ->Oh and Free Palestine 🇵🇸 💗☺️ - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -I’ve seen 25 year old cars with less work done to them. -who says you can't see a lisp?? -Your eyes say yes but your body says Hepatitis. -Looks like someone hit Jennifer Lawerence with a shovel. -When you fart it smells like burned plastic -Why do people feel the need to lie about their age on here? I’m 30 and you look like you have 6-7 years on me. -We should ask Palestine to free you from us. -Do you come with the pump or is it sold separately? -Still not gonna tell us your real age? -You look more damaged than all those football players on the poster combined. -"You’re either lying about your age or you have A LOT of mileage for 25, and only you know the truth." -Female equivalent of a guy having a piss drawer -Not you again grandma -Pic 4 is the only decent pussy in the group -"The only surprising thing about you is I didn't get a ""NSFW"" warning when I clicked on your profile." -Cool. 25 but look 40. Next -"No matter how many surgeries you have, you'll always be a man." -"With her it’s not just a hand job, it’s a hand career" -When she has a snake tattoo on her neck. You definitely bring her home to meet mom -There's been more dick in you than a truck stop urinal -If body dysmorphia were a a human. -Your built like a uncanny valley robot if it got a bunch of plastic surgery -"You look like a soviet knock off of Jessica Rabbit, Jeszinka Rabutzkin. Only cartoon character eyes look more real than the silver crayon colored contacts you somehow fake nailed into your eyes." -Onlyfans link in 3…. 2…. -go back to farming compliments on /r selfie -"That cat is just as shocked as I am that you actually typed the numbers 2 and 5 in that order, and thought anyone would believe it" -Some of your tattoos are *maybe* 25 years old. You are a solid 40. -You look like you spread disease when you spread your legs. Increasing the chubbiness of your breasts did absolutely nothing to hide the chubbiness in your cheeks. Your hourglass figure stopped when you suddenly turned into the bottom end of an 1800’s candle -Your silicone investment does not make up the fact that you’re as deep as a puddle -You should definitely get more plastic surgery because being that fugly with it I would want to imagine you without it -"Traditionally speaking, I’ve never needed a side profile to write a joke. You including it says way more than any joke I could even write" -Looking like a train wreck that hit the red flag factory -Nothing says “I’m a fuckin whore” better than neck tattoos on a chick. I’m sure you’re going real far in life 🤣 -"You can push your ass out all you want, you still just have a long back." -"Can you actually smile, or has all that botox messed with your cheek muscles?" -She’s 25 & I am 4. -25? You look like a 45 year old retired stripper. -You look like ken trying to play Barbie but get stuck with all the melting plastic -Got a personality as fake as those titties -You look like some claymation character -If chlamydia was a person -"The sex dolls have achieved sentience, run!" -Your eyes bulge more then your cats -There are more plastic in your body than the whole ocean.... -What happens in Dubai stays in Dubai right? -25 in dog years -your cat is probably a slut -"You not only live in the Uncanny Valley, you're the mayor..." -When the recent fillers and injections have caused you to have an emotionless face semi- permanently -You look like you make fart content on the side and have a reputation for being extra smelly with your flatulence -Jesus Christ. Did you get a neck extension with the fake tits? -She looks like the lead of a Barbie movie where the used up Sex dolls come to life and try to find a sugar daddy Ken in Dubai. -Princess Jizzman -Christ looks like someone put Heidi Gardner in a microwave -It’s been a rough plasticity 25 years for you. -"Rode hard and put up wet. Not sure what would ride you, but they’re out there, somewhere." -You better leave some instructions on how to separate your parts for recycling after your death. -25 year old that had a stroke? Yeah okay sure -"Don't stay out in the sun too long, you might melt." -Full of more old plastic than the Pacific Ocean -At least you don’t need your use a shopping cart when at the grocery store. You can just put stuff in your saddle bags. -"The streets called, they want their slut back" -More filters than an ashtray at a casino -“Please daddy …” give me atttention I’m a dumb bitch -"A true 49er. - -Thinks they’re a 9 but really a low 4. - -Thanks for posting your cat at the end though. You’ve learned we need eye bleach after seeing a series of pics of you." -Looks like a 50 year old over used silicone sex doll. They try make it look like a human but they just gave up. -"From far away you look hot, from up close your skin has craters like the moon." -As a redditor I'd love to roast you. As a environmentalist it's wrong to burn plastic. -You look like the most uninteresting porn star who has tried countless times in making up the big leagues but flop every time. -"The third pic casts a shadow on your massive areolas. - -They’re still not as massive as the hole left by your missing father which is why you look like Barbie’s real-life hooker friend." -Your neck is as long as your ass -Gypsy Barbie from 99c store -"You have two KITTIES! Wow, please post a pic. Thank you!" -Looks like someone replaced your hips with plates -more plastic than a barbie doll -Probably like the Barbie movie so much cause you nothin but plastic 💀 -You’d literally melt before roasting -"You have fake tits and a snake neck tattoo, yet the naturally batshit crazy look in your eyes is easily the biggest red flag" -25 going on 44 -Is this a roast or a link to your OF account ? -You look like a male blow up doll in drag. -How much did those implants cost you -I seriously feel bad for the Cat he deserves better than looking at a prosthetic Woman. -You'd make a great camel in Palestine with those humps. -Pull your top up. Your personality is showing. -You look like an Amanda Bynes reject. -"Weird, there's normally people posted on these roasting threads, not blow up dolls. :/" -That cat has seen some shit. -"Not really a roast, but you look like that chick from SNL if she had 30 or so surgeries" -If Kristin Schaal was a Russian bride. -Thank you for inspiring me to want to be in my daughter's live -Looks like you don't just have an odor but an ohdear -Even your cat is freaked out by how fake you look -She’s posted SO many posts in other categories fishing for compliments and literally got none! So she’s now here looking for any kind of attention. Give up love…. You look like the Grinch -"Saw the expression ""thousand cock stare"", from another post .Think I can use it here, no problem." -Do you even know where Palestine is ? -Even your cat thinks your ugly -"25??? 25 years ago, maybe." -I can’t do it I love the cat to much -U look like nanci agram -That cat knows what you did. -Bro found that thing on wish.com☠️☠️☠️ -Bros trying to show invisible curves☠️ -"Looking at you makes my teeth ache, I want to bite you. - -Yeah the roast though. I’m pretty sure you’ve had more surgical modification than Darth Vader. Boom, roasted." -Barbie would be jealous of the makeup you wear -"Stopped by the insta for roast inspiration. Ended up rubbing one out instead. So turns out, I’m the one who got roasted." -You should go and help Palestine defend its land I heard Israel is nice to them -"I'll just say what every guy here is thinking. - -Can we see your tits?" -"Some of these are not roasts, just literal bullying. Sorry everyone is so mean. A roast is saying you look like a mail order Russian bride. Some of these comments are so aggressive for no reason." -The fact that you support the terrorists makes me support Israel even more -You mistyped 35…..nice tits tho’ -I want to but I can’t. Absolutely stunning -The plastic surgeon did everything great below the neck. -"Went straight to profile for the “🌶️ link” aged out, I guess" -Real life Bratz doll...OF link plz? -Aren’t fake titties haram? -There’s nothing to roast you about! You’re freaking perfect!!! -"Got a mate who will gladly give me a hand with that... - -My number is +61422... 🤣" -"I‘d hit that….with a shovel in the face! No seriuosly I would, because I am a feeder and somebody’s already done a ton of work on that mountain of an ass." -WOWWWWW!!!!!!!! Gorgeous -Good girl -What’s your snap -"Its opposite day - -I wouldn’t smash that at all" -"You look like the type of woman I'd bring home from the bar, but you'd only be interested in petting my cat. -Not really a roast cuz my cats dope" -"You look like you have one of those 365 day free trial onlyfans that you can't unsubscribe from until the trial is over, but you really want to because all they post is ads for other 365 day free trial accounts." -Pinky Tusca-zero. -Wish version of Kristen Schaal -Your pussy looks like it's scared of you. -Plastic surgery Barbie -"You're kinda cute, but you should really go easy on chocolate. It really shows on those hips." -"I saw you walking on Al Rigga st. With the rest of the girls offering a ""massage""" -"Oh cool its the vapid, boring ""not like other girls"" streamer kit." -FAS Barbie needs roasted guys -"Damn girl, it amazing what a corpse and makeup can do. You could almost pass as a real fugly human" -"All the local goths must be jealous of your soulless, fear-inducing eyes" -You are the proof that black cats give bad luck. -I’m sure ur a robot -"Rule 1, your cat can't be roasted here. -I'm betting it follows you around everywhere trying to find where the fish is." -"personality is ""I'm so random""" -I bet your Friday night ends with you saying Thank you. Come again!! -Wow another 20 something girl that looks like a whore... how original -"She has swallowed so many kids, abortion clinics are jealous." -Must feel weird posting pics with your clothes on -I bet your internal monologue is just a breeze -I would roast you but I don’t want a plane to fly into my house. -I guess it only makes sense you can pick up a Russian mail order bride on Wish now. -That's cat looks like he's seen a 👉 where a 👌 should be. -"The eyebrows are sus. - - -I never trust anyone with sus eyebrows. - - -Also, which D-level russian mail order catalog may one purchase you from?" -"You’ve got more dislikes than Ive ever seen on this. I guess disease avoidance is up and running as it should be - - -But forget about freeing palestine, the only thing that needs freed is that brain from that body" -"To young for stepsis, to old for stepmom, sad limbo" -You look like someone Jeremy DeWitte would date. -"You’re that rare Hooters waitress that actually loves her job, and the old fat men talking about your rack is the only good part of your life." -Your tits are horrendous. You look like your rib cage smells. -I've seen giraffes with shorter necks. -Which version of 90 days Fiancé did I see you on? -Nice cat. -"You look like you you judge people on their star signs and base your whole personality on what a random website tells you to you’ll be acting like for the week. - -You look like you have 5 different kids to 6 different men. - -I bet you’d sell your coochie for damp bag of weed. - -I bet you don’t know the difference between there their they’re. - -You look like you let the whole college football team including the coaches run a train on you." -How many guys pay child support to you? -Oh this girl again -Looks cheap and easy. -25 going on 45 with -5 years of plastic surgery -You're not out of my league. -I have seen puddles less shallow than you. -"I was definitely expecting an Onlyfans link, but thank you for including a pic of your pussy in the last slide." -I can hear your valley girl accent from here -OP’s stripper name is Valtrex -That enchanted rose explains your beastly look. -That ozempic is not working -The sex robots are coming -"A coke bottle today, a 2 liter tomorrow." -I can't figure out if that's a really bad tattoo or if you just need to wash your neck -Shouldn't you be on NBA twitter?? I don't think you're going to get the ROI you're looking for here. -What is your stage name? Cinnamon Spice? -"The look on that cat's face....hmmmm, must have smelled something in those black tights. Tuna? Cod? Maybe halibut? Captain's feast...uncooked and bathed in the sun for days." -When did Kirsten Schall get a botched Botox job -"Genuinely shocked there’s not an Onlyfans link in your bio. - -And please note I said “shocked”, not “disappointed”." -Save some plastic for your ass. -Well at least your cat is cute -"I wanted Lego for Christmas, but dating you would be the same amount of plastic" -She posts every week lmao -You look like a balloon animal shaped like a thot -Soviet bunnyrabbit. -I'mma roast that fat ass! -If Annabelle had an onlyfans. -You look like an OF prostitute. -"Face says 25, hands say you're 40." -Nyet! -"Fake fake fake as fuck. - -Don't spend another dime on surgery, try therapy next time on why you're not happy with yourself naturally. You've already pretty well ruined it, though. I just can't imagine living such a pointless hollow life. Very sad, girlie. Seek help, not attention." -"Lemme guess; you post to r/selfie every second day in a vain attempt to win IG followers. - -Ouch. Yep." -Interest really dried up on r/selfie so now you’re pleading for it here. Welcome -Those guy’s in Dubai had to love you. They like riding something meaty with big hips! -So when you die we can’t cremate you right? Cause burning plastic is against most environmental laws. -You look like meatcanyons version of meg griffin. -Rowdy Gardner -Feeling like Jasmine? More like Iago with that beak -"1st photo - Scarlet Johanson on meth -2nd photo - failed attempt at an only fans photo -3rd photo - trying to mimic jail bait, but not young enough -4th photo - you're a cat" -"Did you post another r/roastme from a different account?! - -https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/dAXgLp1A8f - -This is your roast too, u/BlueMchue" -The cat distribution system failed. -You look pretty good for being 47. -"I wouldn't light a fire near that, could pop!" -She’s easy to roast. This bitch it built like a plucked turkey -Faker than barbie -Keep on with the Ozempic -25 with all that work done? Yeah…… -"Scarlette Jay, it sounds like your vagina has a few STD'S." -The cat looking at her wondering who this is every time she comes home. -Are you having an allergic reaction? Because your face sure is puffy? Or is that all those injections you get from looking your actual age because we know damn well you’re not 25. -"The worm on your neck is confusing, because otherwise, it doesn’t seem like you’re in on the joke at all." -Now that's a challenging wank -I bet your breath smells like a mixture of camel cigarettes and commodity cheese. -You seem like you would be the type for a guy that has a deeply disturbing fetish for something -The last picture is the only pussy in black that made me zoom in -You look like you done got roasted with that terrible excuse for a tan. Your dad never properly loved you so now you seek validation from desperate men on the interwebs. -Everything butter face. -"Don't believe the haters calling you trash. - -With that much plastic, you're easily recyclable." -So thats what its called now eh? “Two Kitties”? -I can tell you have an OF account by the number grotesque tattoos you have. -Would love to roast you but I’m afraid silicone and Botox would be all that’s left. -"I can’t imagine the amount of disappointment a guy would have picking you up at a bar, then getting home and seeing you for the first time in regular light." -What happened to your other 7 cats? -Face face fake tits fake ass all that plastic and you can’t get rid of the tunafish in between your legs -Hamas will definitely use your ass to smuggle militants across the border. -I highly recommend not zooming in on her face I was temporarily blinded by the devil -Vapid empty container -"your face shines like you've taken a few loads to the face on a daily basis, and your cat looks like he has the trauma of seeing it all happen... poor cat.." -"Your tats suck, just stop." -Gorgeous! Amazing! Obviously I skipped the first three pics. -I'd do you -I bet your pussy has taken more of a hammering than Palestine has -Ahhh so this is what it what they are talking about when they say entry level with 40 years of experience -The Great Pacific Garbage Patch has less plastic in it -That black cat is the only pussy I see of any value in these photos.. -There so much plastic waste in those pictures that I can see green peace protesting outside your house -You have that 1000 dick look in your eyes. Only if they had fillers available for brains as well. -"Gotta love the casual “oh, and free Palestine” 🙄" -r/uncannyvalley -I didn't know you can transition from Puerto Rican to Russian -How are your cheeks bigger than your booty? It looks like a pair of bongo drums. -"Escort, who now looks 45 thanks to rich guys gifting her unnecessary plastic surgery." -Wtf she posts herself on roastme then gets defensive or doesn't understand people's jokes. -comment -"12 year old boy or 35 year old lesbian? Genuinely, I have no idea" -I think a mechanic JUST topped off the gender fluid on this one. -How many payments do you have left on that Subaru Forester? -You look like Velma had a baby with the kids from 2 and a half men -You look like a fat 13 year old boy and a 31 year old lesbian at the same time. Scrödinger's gender is the new term I think or quantum gender. -Before I roast you - what the fuck are you? -You look like a gopher cosplaying as a teenaged lesbian. -"I'd roast you, but 15 year old dykes aren't allowed to post on roastme, so it's easier to report you." -"Could be a chubby teenage boy, could be a chubby middle aged woman, who knows" -Skipped Hogwarts and went straight to just warts -Well you've obviously never seen the wrath of a shower or loving parents... 😒 -Time has not been kind to Dennis the Menace -Use the doll to show where flipper touched you. -You look like every lesbian I’ve ever encountered. -I bet you have more pronouns than human friends. -Jefree Dahmer's gay little sister -Good luck on the transition. Whichever way it may be going. We don’t know. -You’re the poster …thing… for Republicans anti gender affirming care and it’s starting to work. -"I can’t tell if you eat pussy, own a pussy or both" -"36 years from now at one of the rare brick-and-mortar Kroger grocery stores — kept around mostly for ironic meme creations — at the entrance, the AI will immediately read your mind that you want some beer and wine. - -Then the one human employee immediately shows up to put “a set of human eyes” on your ID because AI refuses to believe that your close to 21 and it wants convincing." -Non-binary Stuart Little -You look like a lesbian hockey coach! Cats equally as confused about your sexuality. -You look like your favourite Harry Potter spell is sexpesto arrestus -Dude looks like the every lesbian in California who shops at only erwhon -You free your mind in your androgyny -Ah the “I hate the sight of my own forehead” haircut. -18+ must be the number of pronouns on this one. -"Ma’am, your wife asked me to have you remove this post." -It's lesbian Austin Powers!! -It feels wrong to bully a child -Does Ed Sheeran know you're posting his childhood pictures? -I was thinking of a roast but first I have to know... Are you a boy or a girl? -You look like you should have your own telethon -Only pussy you’ll ever see -Are you Ellen or Elliot Page? -How do I start the roasting? What even are you? -If non binary had a spokesperson -Uhhuh.....11 year old boy who wants to be gay.or look like a girl...or a butch tifa brat. -I’m more confused as to what you are than you are. -Let me be sure. M or F -Your dad left the house for a pack of cigarettes and never came back -"""Let's try spinning, that's a good trick!""" -"12 yo boy or 25 yo lesbian? - -Im confused, tbh." -You definitely got the wrath of DNA -"You look like a combination of Daphne, Velma, Fred, and Shaggy, and probably smell like Scooby-Doo" -"Hard to think of a roast when im still struggling with weather to use he/she/ or WhatTheFuckIsThat. Genuinely prepubescent boy or middle-aged lesbian, pick one..." -Sir this is a wendys -I will not participate in breaking the spirit of a 12 year old girl. -I don't roast young boys -Even the Republicans refer to you as they.... -If Kyle Rittenhouse had an uncle who snuck into his room at night instead of teaching him how to shoot a rifle… -I would but then you’d go to your nearest school and end up on the news -AFAB. -You look like the short 6th graders at our school -He makes a living going to schools to get bullied to tell the school who did it -I love your band Death Cab For Cutie -"For clarification to those of whom are asking, I’m 19 and a male 😅 (P.S. me and my fiancé find your roasts absolutely hilarious!)" -What gender are you!?!???!???? -If jake harper was a lesbian -You look like a Dollar Tree Peppermint Patty -try the wrath of a toothbrush first -You look like Hairy Twatter and I am not even lying. -"Wow - I really don't know what I'm looking at. As others have said, you easily could be a 12 year old boy or a 35 year old Lesbian." -If Denis the Menace was gay or trans or something.. -It’s Pat! -"It’s not a phase dad! - -I am identifying as a sea cucumber. Just let me continue being an amorphous, rotund shape! It’s who I am!" -It’s crazy to see someone over the age of 6 months and still not be able to tell if they’re male or female. -anyone who is openly attracted to you should immediately be investigated and barred from being within 300 feet of all public schools -"Do your parents know what you're doing, at you age you require supervision" -You really should just give up on everything  -You look like the vegan teacher if she was 13 and actually ate meat -This is cringe -Idk man... you seem pretty cool 🤷‍♂️ -"2008 called, they want their hair back and to tell you to be original." -Show us your teeth -Sam from Coronation Street -Get a hair cut! -You’re not as quirky as you think you are. Kinda like a temu jojo siwa. -"If a lesbian wanted to call someone a lesbian, they would point at you" -No roast just happy about the kitty :) -You look like a boy that looks like a girl -You look like the most annoying middle school boy -"Must be a Shim, she/him" -You should consult one of your therapists before asking for Reddit to give you another layer to your anxiety disorder. -Imagine having no friends or personality so you activate they/them mode -Looks like a facial composite of every single tumblr user -You look like a little boy that has just stared to transition into a girl. -This is the first time I've ever been sure this is a they/them -The fact that you had to Photoshop yourself into someone's picture frame to feel special is crazy -"Looking forward to you moving to Portland, OR and dropping the worst opinion ever." -Edgy queef -Even your cat is horrified and confused by you -"Bro, seriously. What the fuck." -You look like the fakes they use to catch a predator -Got the “I don’t know what gender I am” starter pack for their 16th birthday -I’m confused. Are you a 13 year old boy or an alphabet person? -"Denise, the menace" -Ur cat 🤣🖤 -Best picture ever with cat -"Ok. Bet. OP, But can you at least let me know male or female so the roasting is gender appropriate" -"neurodivergent, non-binary, autistic, AND SAD." -Dennis the transmenace -Are you a dude or a chick? -Shut up Meg!!! -What up Pat -You have really nice glasses -Bubbles in his youth. -"You are so adorable and I genuinely hate everyone who is roasting this sweet, adorable creature." -Virgin lord supreme -?t? -I identify you as non-binary -It’s giving he she they them I’m confused and scared -"r/roastme commenters try to think of anything other than blatant transphobia challenge - -you can make funny jokes about gender as seen in plenty of these comments but “its pronouns are that/thing” is not funny at all, hope this helps🫶🫶🫶" -"Man/Gurl, you’re gonna boast about that one year of Community College -you secretly failed out of- until becoming an assistant manager at a Panda Express." -Andy milonotshit -"We tried to tell you to eat something *besides* Life cereal, Mikey" -Your only memorable quote is 'i got peas on my head but dont call me a pea head' -Wrath of *Tumblr -I can smell the reek of your B.O. from (probably) across the world and my phone screen. -"picture 1 and 2 are exactly the same, but somehow they express the depth of your personality perfectly" -Is the Andy Milonakis Show getting a reboot? -Andy Milonakis wannabe -You look like everyone else these days. Unremarkable. -"You've already felt the wrath of God, cursing you to spend your life looking like a teenage boy/lesbian hybrid" -Even the cat has questions… -What's going on with those creepy little fingers?? -The kid from two and a half men -Metal nose buggers … a face not even a mother could love -What are you on and where can I get it!? -"Why are you here? When just looking at you, one can tell words hurt feelings." -I have no idea what you are but I’m 100% positive on who you are voting for -"Damn boy, don’t you get bullied at school enough? You’re just coming on here to toughen up right?" -You look high af bruh -I’d love to but unlike you I’m trying to lose weight and roast pig isn’t going to help my case -I'm not the sun. It's not my job to roast you. -you are the “wrath of all of reddit” -wasn’t god’s wrath enough? -You look like Ed Sheerans big brother -You look like Andy Milonakis -"For a long as you shall live, you will always wish for and never find is someone to fuck you as hard as life has." -U didn't have to steal ur mums earring. -Sweet life of lesbian -Fat Bieber -Temu version of 2010 Justin Bieber -Why do you look like if Velma was gay -"Aww, look at the wittle baby calf." -Didn’t know 13 year old boys could be spirit animals -Failed Justin Beiber haircut -A potato with a face -"Genuinely not sure if you are a guy or girl, but it kind of doesn't matter since you're never going to fuck anything that isn't either inflatable or an anime pillow." -You look like a negative stereotype of Reddit -Your pronouns are dear oh dear -I'm sorry to tell you this Kyle but that cat gonna escape one day -Your the spitting image of Dennis the Menace -Gender? -You look like the kid on a 1970s cereal box. -boi what the hell boi -I don’t pick on minors especially ones that look like cutters -That cat has seen some shit. -Having a hard time roasting when I don’t even know what it is -i know you don’t actually think the fifth pic is sexy -Harry potter and russel Crowe’s gay love child -I think we're all for shoving you in a locker. -"Sandy Milanokis, the chubby lesbian with bad taste in haircuts and piercings." -you get wet and hard to start wars -I was confused until I saw that Nickleback fella -“I rock cheese on my head but don’t call me a cheese head” -It’s the gen-alpha andy milonakis -You look like you protest about things you have no clue about. -You look like a kid I woulda beat the blond out of their stupid bangs in high school -"Narrow shoulders, roundish face, small hands, this is a goblin merchant with XX chromosomes" -Yawn-binary -You look like karl from mrbeast had a child with a minion -I would rob you -So Jake from Two and a Half Men is gay now? -Hermey from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer wants to be roasted? -I just know you prefer the dumbest fucking pronouns. -"Holy shit, it’s andy milonakis!" -I don't roast monkeys -You look like a kid that is happy to have booked their first acting gig in a cereal commercial. -That’s a child…. -Elton John as a bebe -Buddy looks like Neville Papperman if he went through an alternative phase and chose to work at Starbucks. -You look like you’ve been diddled AND like you do the diddling. -"Trying to figure out if you’re male or female lesbian is like trying to guess the plot of a movie from a single frame. Either way, you’re so forgettable, even your shadow looks bored of hanging around you." -Why are there so many men with nose rings wanting to be roasted? Is it a sex thing? -Your parents change the subject when asked about you. -Identifies as he/avy -You built like you're a star of a Disney show about vaping... -The day before the black nail polish right? -Even the cat is confused at that mess 😂 -"Is that your.....""daddy"" n the last pic..." -What are you? -We say ur 12......you are 12.... -Andy Milonakis twin brother -We know 12 or 18. Cand start a lawnmower and probably lays in the traffic.... - Andy milonakis if he was a lesbian girl -"Talk about a Fincel! - -Goddamn, that glasses and haircut combination almost guarantee a life if loneliness! - -You're wearing the uniform of the soon to be unemployed!" -What ever it is ….. LOVES DXM… weirdo go do real drugs -"You sont even look old enough for puberty, let alone a roast." -You have a face of Tianas best friend from Princess and the frog. -"My first thought was, ""Did Jeffrey Dahmer have any gay femboy kids?""." -Let's call it Pat -Is that Velma from Scooby Doo? -You look like Beans and Andy Milonakis had an abortion that survived. -"If there was a class of human made from the KMart knockoff GI Joe parts, you would be the step below that." -Larry Potter: And The Chamber of Geekdom -"Your whole look just makes you out to be a non-binary elemental. Coincidentally, that’s the only making out that would be associated with you." -Of course you use 'wrath' and 'reddit' in the same sentence -Justin Beaver -"Even pronouns are like “hahaha, absolutely not”" -You look like the annoying neighbor kid in a cheesy 80’s sitcom. -Michael kovach looking ass -r/Roast Me has been Cousin Olivered. -Get a load of this chick. -Its my show im Andy Milonakis lookin ass -"When you asked for your haircut, did you also use the word 'wrath' by any chance" -I will roast you -Pole or Hole? -"It’s customary to state your age and gender, so we know what we’re roasting…" -You make mannequins feel less plain -Ya look like the love child of Shaggy and Velma from scooby doo. -You look like Austin Jones -Never thought I'd meet someone unironically trans-curious. -I Just Got The Brightest Flashlight In The World! Kyle Krueger looking ass -Young Justin Bieber during Covid 19 lockdown -You look like you get offended if somebody walks past you and don’t recognise what a special kind of they/them you are -You are a gigantic baggage of no thank you -You look like if Dylan Sprouse was deeply confused about his identity -This Ghostbusters fan would be honored to roast the Stay-Puft Marshmallow...Thing. -Are you even old enough to be on this site? -Bros looking like the average Subaru drivwr -Future middle school gym teacher. -I haven't watched SNL in years but you are definitely the new Pat. -What if i attach a battery to your nosdrills? -"I’m not sure if you’re a theydy or a gentlethem, but you look like the love child of Austin Powers and Ellen Degeneres." -You look like that lesbian chick on tiktok who shits on people for being straight. -"As curious as it may be, I have no desire to find out what’s between your legs and neither does anyone here" -Justin Dweeber -Very confusing times tbh -2014 Justin Bieber looking ass. You look like you watch WWE to learn how to fight -Jokes aside what gender are you? -Is there a reason people like to draw attention to their nostrils? -You remind me of a minion. -Chad kept sticking this photo in my face but all I could do was lau...nch my stomach contents -You’re too young for the wrath of Reddit. -Real human submissions only. We can’t roast your product of incest fan fiction characters. It’s just low hanging fruit. -Go bother Scooby and Shaggy -You look like a filler DreamSMP member who’s in a relationship with controversial lesbian YouTuber -"Come one, look at him. If you even heat up the grill, he'd off himself. Better leave him alone" -You look like me at age 13 -Look at this photograph…it reminds me of SNL’s Pat. -"Try again when you hit puberty, booger eater. I'll have no part in this chicanery." -"You have a face that screams, “I’ve had peanut butter licked off me by an animal.”" -He's just a little baby - He doesn't know any better… -Are you even old enough to be on the internet? -Hahahahahahahahaha -Looking at you is like looking at one of them AI images trying to figure out what they are. What are you? What kind of relationship do you have with your father? -Andy Milonakis jr -Not the worst two and a half men Jake cosplay I’ve seen -It does look like you get away from it all by throwing a backpack on and sneaking into classes at a middle school. -I think we all knew those were the glasses Peppermint Patty was gonna grow up to wear. -"I was gonna say “no you honestly look like a sweet kid” then I realized I actually have no idea if you 12, 17 or 42. It’s honestly odd." -"Nice try, I know a frog in a wig when I see one." -Don’t you dare being Nickelback into this you nonbinary Beans from Even Steven’s -Jake Harper?? -I had no idea Any Milanokis has a lesbian sister -"Usually it's just a joke when people say they can't tell what gender you are. But I couldn't tell even if it would save my life. Congrats, men are not gonna walk up to you because they think you are a man, women won't walk up to you because they think you're a woman. Single for life. But honestly I have no idea how you manage to look like two genders and still be uglier than the homeless crackhead on your street." -It's Cousin Oliver! -Justin Biebers lesbian sister. -comment -You have the lovely face of a woman in her 40s -You look like your ego is held together solely because of degenerates complimenting your bust on TikTok. -You look like a Hooters waitress who counts her tips at a Coin Star kiosk. -"I will flash forward your future for you- -Hooters waitress, stripping on the pole, facials from a pecker between your breasts, guys doing lines off your backside, three kids from three different guys, cellulite, bankruptcy-the end" -"At least, deep down, you know why you get attention, and since that’s why you’re here…that last picture just had to make it in the group, didn’t it?" -You know some people NEED bangs -You look like you’d cry if I actually roasted you -How is your face both fat and flat? You have the appeal of a pug -You’re the most 42 looking 18 I’ve ever seen -that some real attention whoring -The awkward third wheel. -In that last picture you can really see your personalities on full display -You look like my dad -You look like you’d give me something funny 😕 -Never seen a teenage grandma before. Congratulations -I bet you cup your farts and smell them. -18 going on 36 -"Imagine when your mustache comes in. You look 45 @ 18, add pix of mom & auntie so we can see the crystal ball effects" -You'd get more attention if you let people watch movies on that forehead of yours. -"You’re only 18, there’s still time to put down the fork." -Fat Jessica alba. Jessica FUPA. -18 going on 35. -I bet i can deposit $200 through the gap of her teeth -"You look like the typa girl to just lie there during coitus, but then tell everyone how good you are" -You're 18F with a face and a body of 40 years old -You have Resting PTA Face. -I can’t tell if you’re 18 or 36 with 3 kids -Probably not the last time she’ll be surrounded by that many poles at once…at least though she has working the pole to fall back on…though not like she hasn’t backed into plenty of poles already… -You strike me as the type of person that aims at the wall while sharting in a public bathroom (picture two for reference) -"If you were a stripper, I wouldn’t even tip you with monopoly money." -Jessica Alba diabetes edition -"You put the ""fe"" in male pattern baldness." -Let me show my cleavage because I have no brain or soul -Daisy Pukes -You think 'astrophile' means lover of astrology -Your milkshake brings zero boys to the yard -"Excuse me, Ma’am, no one is buying that you are 18, you are clearly referring to your daughter." -"Are you fat now? How about now? Now? Well, it’s coming…" -18 but with late 30s vibe. Those saggy used up tits must still contain rotten milk from 5 years ago when you were still breastfeeding. -What’s with the Dollar Tree stripper poles? -18 years old? You don’t look a day over 45. -you will be a great mom who smokes cigarettes -On a scale of 1-10... Your left tit broke all of them. -"You look different in every picture, but in every picture you look atleast 40+. Harsh." -Something funny huh? More foundation than a party clown and we can still see your pock marks. -"When you take tricks to the hotel room, do they swipe their credit card in between your breasts?" -Soon to be a rising star at Lonely Fans. -Roast me says the girl we all want to marry -"Contrary to what you friends might tell you, you're the catfish. " -"Ladies and gentlemen, this is a woman who masturbates with the bristle end of the toothbrush. - -I don't think I need to say anything else." -18 going on 38 -How was the sex change? Mb as a gay person this joke sucks -Got them orangutan titties -There was no need for the pic of you going legs up on a pole and the other one of your cleavage hanging out when we can all tell from the first pic that you have the IQ and aspirations of a high school dropout stripper. -OMG THAT HAIR LINE AND I GO WAY BACK -You -You must have popped outa the womb at 18 cause...wow. -You look like Trina Vega -Pic 2 It’s nice that they let you decorate your prison cell and congrats on winning the Wee titties contest. -"Why that last pic.. why... -If I saw that in the restroom, I'd be deeply confused. - - Especially since I'm a guy and would therefore be in the guy's restroom. - -You look like you'd do that in the guy's restroom." -Those pictures look like they came straight out of tinder -"You swallow because you like the taste, don't you?" -You look like you can do backflips under the bed -Her parents are encouraging her permanent move to the pole. (Pic 2) They buy her the slutty tops (Pic 4) to speed up offloading the financial responsibility of supporting her to a random collection of drunken degenerates. -Is your boyfriend's name Ben Dover? -Your titties are a better conversationalist than you. -Thank god for light switches… -"With the second picture, you know that’s how your parents met" -Wtf happened to you? -I think you were suppose to upload these on your Onlyfans but I guess it got suspended due to lackluster performance -Just put a bag on your head and it'd be like a regular day at work for you. -"Nice tits. - -Said absolutely no one" -When I think of the term “middle child” this is exactly what I see in my head -The blind date that your friends wife sets you up with and all she tells you is how sweet she is and doesn't mention anything about how she looks -"Usually i try to Refrain from comments on the raunchier Side of Things. Especially with Younger Folks Like you. But it is quite inhumane, cruel and downright monstrous of you to participate at a wet T-Shirt Contest, wearing a black Shirt, while having that bust. Shame on you" -"You are way, way dumber than you look which is something in itself." -We’re all tired of bankrolling you with our taxes -Remember to take your metamucil to stay regular -Why everyone is lying about their age in this subreddit? -18f with 5 kids maybe -That’s pretty good camera work to get your entire personality into frame in pic 4. -Remember that time Kathy Bates auditioned as Daisy Duke? (#4) -Well fat chicks DO give the best blow jobs. -"I know I’m here to roast you but I just wanted to thank you for being the best Sahara desert you could be in that 2nd image. And thank god for that, it’s too early in the week and the day to be traumatized by that. I paid a lot for my coffee this morning, and I’d like to keep it all in my stomach. - -Appreciate ya! -🙏" -"Your gonna be taking the *exact* same pictures in 30 years and sleeping with the same age men except they all view you as a ""rite of passage"" at the local club." -Damn you’d be decent if you weighed 40 pounds less. Also you’re 35 not 18 -Coming soon to OF. -Onlyfans with a free subscription... -You're the kind of person that gets disqualified from Wet T-shirt contests for stuffing your bra. -It's funny that your tits and your knees can have a conversation. -"18? Sure. Midlife crisis, it seems. Don't worry. Reality will check you soon enough" -"The emo trend wasn’t working for her so she resorted to the bar girl, to be fair i don’t think that’s working either" -Guys ask you if they can just date your tits. -You look like your dad gets mad every time he sees you and your mom cries -In Pic #2 what's your walk out music -I bet you spend your Saturdays standing outside the mens dressing room at Walmart. -"you look like every ""yo mama"" joke" -You look like most other girls that ten years from now will just be another blimp with 4 kids and 5 different baby daddies -"Bent over like a cripple to shamelessly promote the only good thing going for her, likely to hide a spilling gut" -Holy shit! I never knew Rocky Dennis had such nice cleavage! -Hello daytime stripper. How’s the c section scar treating you? -You hide Oreos under your bed? -Why didn’t she rotate the first image correctly? Is she stupid? -You are gorgeous. -I vomited at the last photo. -"Let her hoe, let her hoe, let her hoe -She doesn't show signs of stopping -Who am I to be cock blocking soooo -Let her hoe, let her hoe, let her hoe" -In return for chlamydia?? -You must have slapped your face way too many times with those airbags to look that ugly -She gets her life advice from internet comments -hooters wouldn’t even hire you -Live laugh love -Tarzan get out of this body lol -A personality? -Does your tits hang low remix looking ass. Shorts so tight baking yeast looking ass. Most likely to squat pissing in public and laughing drunk looking ass -You’re gonna ruin some good dudes life one day. -Look like you havnt cleaned your room in 6 yesrs -A mirror? -That's not the only pearl necklace you've worn. -Damn your make up is almost as thick as those big tities -if you're 18 im 14. -"Nothing going on in the back, so you have to show off your mid chest." -18! Had a hard life huh. -"I get the feeling you're insecure about your body, so you try to fit in by wearing as little as possible. - -Also how hard was it to know that he never loved you?" -Dollar store Mandy Moore over here -More sloth than sexy -"Didn’t have any friends until you got tits, huh?" -You look like Selena but your alive -Your face says marketing but your body says whore. -"Aww look, it’s the beginnings of a body positive “influencer” who is only able to summon 100 followers across all her social media accounts." -To tip the Earth of its rotating axis. -18? Im 30 and you look my age. -Look in a mirror -No trick or treating for you! -Am not paying for that (referring to 2nd and 4th picture) -You look like you don’t wash the back of your knees -"Right, she caught my eye.." -"Blonde girls will forever be with your boyfriend when you're not. - -And I if you behave we'll upgrade you to drinking out of a dish on the floor from the toilet. Jealousy is ugly, unlike blondes." -Your cleavage looks like the ass crack of a greasy middle aged plumber fixing the lowest pipe in the house… and I’m here for it -🍼 🍼 -Defining yourself with looks because you have no brain -You look like a single mother of 3 -Imagine how greasy that body is looking at that face -How did that pole not break? -That’s a rough 18 -Honey do bangs it will suit you well -You can see the freshman fifteen melt away as you scroll your photos. You were pretty once and probably got a lot of male attention in high school. And the sad thing is that it'll only get worse for you in terms of weight gain and looking like your mom. -If you knew your dad I would love to shake his hand for not raising you -"Photos with a dresser, poles, string lights, and in a hotel hallway you have already peaked." -Why is your profile safe for work? Don't keep these gentlemen waiting much longer? Otherwise why advertise? -Without further information the only thing we can make fun of is your appearance. Which I consider below me. Just as your tits hang below your belly button. -Habitually date men that are out of your league and ask where are all the good men. You absolutely swallow and make breakfast in the morning. But never leave satisfied -she looks older that 18 by alot u live on top of a hill ? and do ur own paper delivery? -Please next time choose a more flattering angle of 90° to the left with your phone -"You say, ""Give me something funny"" to every guy you meet." -You’re the one in the group with the ‘great personality’ -Nice tits -Get that bait shit outta here. You can promote your Onlyfans in different ways. -"Nursing school, with the constant thought of making an onlyfans in the back of your mind." -"Wonder Woman. As in, I wonder if she’s always been a woman." -First 18 year old I’ve seen that looked like a 45 year old divorced midwestern mom. -Me and all my high school buddies fucked you and we’re all still good friends -Women like you seem to think personality is spelt c.l.e.v.a.g.e. -"Picture 2 looks like she has been impaled... - -Ironically, not the *first* time she heard that..." -"Fat-skinny… 45, 3 kids, divorced twice." -Did you win the wet fart contest? -If that hairline went any further back it'd be sharing jokes with the neanderthals!!! -"In a couple of years,that necklace will become an earring" -You look like the fat girl who lost 15 lbs and thinks she is hot. -You're right to not have an Onlyfans. -You like to blow married men who you get to know in the bar where you work in rollerskates -"When I see freyed Jean cutoffs, with all the strings coming from your crotch, I wonder how big it is that you need 13 tampons" -Hunched over is how is how you normally walk -How many creepy PMs are you getting? -AIDS. -Slept with a girl that looks just like you at Uni. Could not wash my cock enough. -Her personality really came out in the last photo. -You look like a pair of tube socks stuffed into each other. -"You look like your father made love with your mfing mother when you were in her womb. You look so ugly that when your mother see you, she can't even remember that it's you. If you played Minecraft, you would be 'The Game's End', because ain't no way Minecraft gonna support having you playing that game." -"Honestly I'll give you 7""." -That's a good job of airbrushing out the dude behind you in the bathroom  -Funny? It's not funny! -The friend who cock blocks you at the end of the night -wtf is her post history -Soon to be single mother. -"Now I understand why they say age is only a number, you’re 18 but got the face of a young grandmother" -18 with 10 years experience? -With this forehead you can easily replace white board in any school. -"Half female, half milkers, nothing else is really there." -You look like you draw furries and sell it for the lowest price possible -Ruined my appetite for the week -If “please don’t cum in me” was looking for a poster child -Make sure to photoshop each leg equally -At least you've got a career! -How is your forehead bigger than those tits!? -I do her laundry and can confirm she doesn’t wipe her ass properly -A mirror so you can see something funny -Jessica Alba? More like Jessica EXTRA. -You are to sexy what a 300 pound redneck is to ballet. -Why do I have the urge to go motorboating? -"What did the 1 told to 10 -: roast me" -You dress like ChatGPT to picks out your clothes. -Rosie O'Donnell -Sloppy fun bags -really big “high school teacher who bangs a student” energy -Oh Boyfriend dumped you now you want some compliments huh 🤔 -What's you OF ? -Haha u look like u have a 15 year old son who looks like 25 -Really good at hiding your midsection! -Send me some nudes -You look a teacher going through her second divorce -"I gotta say, you're just about perfect...for men who can't make up their mind between cougar and teen fetishes." -You somehow look like you check kids parents in to get them from middle school at the front desk -Brother eewwww -"It's never good when a big breasted female is at a wet t-shirt contest and is completely dry. I don't have anything good, this early, I'm just passing time on the shitter." -Stop lying about your age. We all know you're an late 30 something mom with 3 kids that all have different dads but unfortunately no dads are in their lives. -"You'll turn more into Rosie O'Donnell day by day. I'd say get used to the position in the second picture, but I'm sure you already are." -You look like you make out with girls to impress men -Stop putting butter on your face -how many kids??? -Copy cats are often not as good as the original. -Can't say I've heard of a Wet Twat Contest before. How'd you get on? -I'm not swiping on this profile. Good luck with your life. -I'm waiting for you to tell us about this incredibly amazing cult leader that you worship. -"Shoulders down Daisy Duke, neck up gargoyle" -You are roasting yourself in the second picture. -18 in 1986? -Why midgets don’t get invited to nice places anymore. -"You’d better get used to that last pose, it’s the one thing you’ll have to offer the world for the next 20 years." -"Ma’am this is Reddit, not OF" -Poc 2 is how you should always be in. -"Pic 4, Not the most shameful wank but not the proudest one either." -"Five enormous sphere, but no brain cell." -Three different weight classes. Impressive. -The long lost goblin child of Kamala Harris -You run around the neighborhood in a furry costume don’t you? -"Man I would love you to come over and get comfortable in my living room maybe get you a snack, glass of wine....and then.....project a movie on your forehead to watch with my family" -"You look like the big bitch when I was in college, that if you were drunk and desperate enough, you could always take that slam pig home" -How is it being filthy rich from all the oil they harvest from your face? -"You look like at least 35 in all photos except the third... in 3rd, you just look like a drunk college student seeing all other friends hook up and hoping that some day, someone would want you" -18? You’re at least 42. -Give you something funny? Isn't it you normally giving out the STDs? -"Saw the last photo and thought to myself ""she must've been homecoming cow""" -"I guess you got too old for your dad, and now you're testing the waters of the dating scene" -Daisy Don't -You definitely believe in that manifesting shit -You look like you offer to put out on the first date while they are getting in their car to leave. -You better get used to that second pic because I have a feeling that’s the only career your qualified for -You look like you’ve had several trains ran on you and you’re not even old enough to buy alcohol yet smh with you kids these days -You look like Jessica Alblaaa-blabla-I want to motor boat dem titties. -You look like a not famous jessica biel -She could fart the alphabet -Why the f all these posts look like promo for their ofs -You don’t have to bend over they sag enough in their own -What’s the over under where her tits drop when she takes off her bra? -Thats a lot of tampon strings hanging out. You know your supposed to swap them out right? -Was the second pic before or after the 50 black dude train? -"Body of a divorced single mom, with a baggy fanny" -You look like a divorced mom who's trying to date again and act young -Your hair line looks like a tidal wave. -I see you have experience working the pole. -Coming to to halloween I can safely say a good costume would be letters on that forehead to be used as a ouija board -I see the bending over in public spaces comes quite naturally -Knocked up -Mike Tyson called. He wants his punching bags back. -"I would, but i’d feel really bad making fun of the handicapped. That big empty smile tells me someone drank when they were pregnant. - -Or, because you can walk, are you handi-capable? I’m not up on the special needs nomenclature anymore." -Brotha ewww -diddy is prbly ur sensei -Im A space pizza -Please take a closer picture of that visa front and back to confirm identity. -That might be the worst case of scoliosis I’ve ever seen in pic 4. -Didn't know hookers took in apprentices. -Sorry for the back problems that your mom gave you 18 years ago and your dad gave you last night -"I'm not sure which you are craving more, attention or a slice of cake." -Mandy Moore and more and more -girls Forehead bigger then the rocks and he doesn't even have an end to his -Right at home on that pole . -Practicing for your future career in the second photo -There's no way you're 18 when you have the face of a 43 year old art teacher who's been smoking for 20 years and has been through five divorces -"Advertising space for rent! - -Between the hair and eyes!" -I just keep staring at the pole that keeps slowly sinking into the sand. -I would love to know who constructed that poll because it is holding a lot of weight it must be load-bearing. -How you gonna leave your Dr Scholls shoes on while poledancing? I totally understand why the rest of your clothes are on and I appreciate it and all but Dr. Sholls? Those are for fat and/or old people... and you're only 18 so you're not wearing them because you're old. -"I've been to the zoo before, I've seen enough." -You look like the Baltimore Ravens “B” gap……. Ran Through -The only thing you have going for you is a bangable body. Now that I type this I dunno if that's a roast or a compliment -"""I need validation but I'm not attractive enough to do porn so I post cherrypicked photos to hide that I'm out of shape on roast me to get some white knights""-starter pack" -18? I don't think you're counting years right. -"I’m not sure when, but your bellybutton is gonna be encased in those melons. I imagine the lint buildup will be considerable." -She looks like Megan Moore food -"It’s okay that you’re getting bullied by the other strippers in the club into doing this, you deserve it" -face of an independent single mom -Baddie -I could wax my truck with all that lard on your face. -You're possibly the worst pole dancer ever. -Future exotic dancer ... she's gona be picking pennies off the floor . -I could tell your networth is $10. -U don’t look a day older then 43 what’s there to roast? -"She’s got some nice double D longs and a forehead to match. All jokes aside, she’s pretty cute though." -Tits say “come here!” Thighs and cheeks say “bring food!” -Farrah Fawcett said she wants her hair back. -She can be seen cruising the special ed school parking lots looking for slower stray . -"Step 1. Aquire cardboard box or paper grocery bag. -Step 2. Pull it over your head. -Step 3. ????????? -Step 4. Profit." -You’re gonna have to up your game if you’re going into pole dancing as a profession. -When you peak at 45 while you’re 18 yrs old -If you were in a romcom you'd definitely be the 'quirky' best friend that's just.. happy to be a part of things. Alone. -"Based on the second photo, I’m sure your parents are SO proud of you" -Daisy Puke -Looks like her name would be Champagne or Mercedes on stage. But her real name is like Bobbie Mae -"Simultaneously, chubby, cute, a midget of 44, and a rack of a four-time mommy" -Your self esteem -"With a mug like that, i hope you're into ""butt-stuff""." -"If a blind man touches your face to see what you look like, he is instead met with a novel about how much you disappoint your parents." -Pic 4: Daisy Puke -You look like a potato with hair glued on -I’m sorry your parents never gave you anything but a coat hanger as an early birth present. -18 and already on the pole -"Pee on face, cum on tits, for the last 30 years from your 18th birthday on" -Yo tiddiez is crookit -you know thats her dads credit card in that wallet -She's a breeder -A 2 trick pony -You're 18 and you already look 40. I wonder how you'll look when you're 40. -She shaped like a Oompa Loompa -Leaning forward doesn't make your B cups into Ds -When you pay the pole dancer to put her clothes back on -Look in the mirror if you want a laugh -If Jessica Alba had a less successful older sister -You look like you fell down a story of concrete stairs before. -"""Give me something funny""  - - -Sigh - - -::once again strapping clown nose on my cock::" -Work that pole -You look like an OF reject. -18 going on 45. Dad's at the grocery store must come on to you all the time. -Your career as a pole dancer is coming to an end! -Your eyes and your bust have something in common -She has face that makes a mediocre baloney sandwich. -What’s with the pose in the last picture? It’s so confusing and unnatural -Get some sleep . -You know how sometimes you just see a woman and know immediately “she’ll make a great 3rd wife” -Eewww. Gross -You look like you frequently masturbate with a bottle of Topo Chico -Is photo number two your favorite position? -At least she knows how to play to her assets. -"I saw this, scrolled down once, and saw someone who looked like you getting banged in doggy💀 - -No joke" -You already gave us something funny. :/ -"NGL, you look pretty good in the dark." -"That last picture looks stupid , I can’t imagine what the ones you deleted look like" -You look like the embodiment of a trailer trash pregnant velly -18 in Mexican pesos. -18F? You look older than my mother and she's 65. -ur a baddie -Daisy Don’ts -I can't tell where you're tits end and your FUPA begins -you look like a hoe -18 my ass. You are definitely 40 -She looks like Kamala Harris -You got the middle aged Mandy Moore in this is us down! You got a nicer rack though. -You look like what Temu would deliver if I ordered Kamala Harris -Get a Frank Reynolds’s mask for Halloween. -Daisy Pukes -"10/10.would give her this 🐓 but she wouldn't be laughing, that's for sure" -18 x 2 -"There’s a future in Van Nyes CA for you. - -What will be your stage name?" -"Please clean between the boulders, is that dirt I see? 😷🤢" -U -Where’s your bottom half? -Call me when yer 19. -What’s sad is those are the best pictures she picked from her camera roll and she was thinking “No way they’ll have anything bad to say about THESE” *hair flip* -Your family must be proud. -comment -Praise for what? Fitting into those pants? -you look like biff tannen -You look like every character in *Ratatouille* combined into one. -Nothing cool about being 19 and not being able to touch your toes -These photos smell. -"Trying to be cool inherently makes you uncool. - -Although, I'm sure you were also uncool before you started trying to be cool. So it's a wash. Which is coincidentally something you should do to your hair more often." -"""I try so hard to be cool"" might be the saddest phrase I've ever read." -"You look like a 38 year old housewife from the suburbs who let herself go, and then left her husband for her kids lesbian gym coach" -"According to recent studies, you’re now the worlds leading cause of erectile dysfunction" -Just give me the riddle so I can cross your bridge already. -When are your baby teeth falling out? -yk she has that distinct smell of B.O and ciggs -You look like you’ve been 19 for about 8 years now. -You look like you can’t wait to tell us your triggers. -Tell Kermit I said hello -Drug of choice: mcdonalds -mothrfucking head looks like a basketball -Well we all know you only get it from behind.. -What are you? -Who's been giving you this praise? Lane Bryant catalogs? -Tell us your pronouns already. -Those who say Annapurna is the hardest mountain in the world to climb are simply unaware of your existence. -"You look like you go to rehab not to quit meth, but to learn how to be moderate with it." -"Watch out for poachers, you white rhino" -Ah the collar for someone who not got a Dom so pretends they have one. -"I bet you smell like cheeseburgers, feet and your dads balls" -When you smile it looks like your tongue is in jail. -Princess Fiona over here acting up.... -"You look like one of those D&D girls. - -Dumb and disgusting" -I can smell cat pee through your photos. -You look like an unsuccessful Brazilian UFC fighter who is no longer in the gym -You look like you blame society for all your problems -"If hearing “I like big butts and i cannot lie”, is praise, then yeah, you’re “cool”." -Here's some more praise - you were great playing a Gorg in Fraggle Rock. -Proof that more lineages carry a lot more Neanderthal DNA than others. -"Mmm, one look and I can tell your blood type is Ragu" -"Who told you that you look cool, I’d drop those friends in a second…" -When you are so ugly your blow jobs count as anal.......... -"Genuinely, never wear that choker with that top ever again. The choker makes the neckline wrinkle underneath it and neckline hides the choker. They clash. - - -Also, snake earrings WITH the labret? Just come out of the closet already girl." -"Looks like someone smashed a coffee mug, glued the broken shards in your mouth and called them your teeth." -Let’s roast those losers giving you praise -">shoot me down - -You think I've got a rail gun just at the ready?" -Nothing makes me laugh harder than fat people trying to wear normal people clothes lmao -"I'd shoot you down, but the bullets would come back screaming." -You look like you lasted one round in the boxing ring with carrotop and he kicked your ass. -If Cera from the land before time was a human. -You are what they call a practice girl -You look like buzz from home alone  -"you’re not cool. but you do look like a 42 year old white momma who lives in the trailer park with her 5 kids from 4 different baby daddies, with a pu*** that smells like mountain dew and cigarettes." -Praise from who? You’re ugly AND a liar? -if vaginal fragrance had a face -Nanana nanana crackman -Who is praising you? The villagers rallying behind you as you battle Lord Farquaad? -Shoot no…harpoon yes -You look like you either own rats or are owned by rats -"With features like that, you could easily do a Chris Griffin cosplay." -19? Is that in cow years? -India considers you sacrid. -We know weight watchers hasn't been giving you praise so where does it come from? -You look like you have your favourite author tied to a bed with broken ankles. -You look like the kind of girl who would find a drunk guy to sleep with her and then poke holes in the condom so you could have a long term relationship -We will need a lot firewood to roast you. -You look like Billie Guylish. -They them written all over it -You’re gonna be stuck with black boyfriends -Just a Public Service Announcement. Just because you get fucked by a lot of guys on Tinder does not mean you're hot. It means you're easy. -"So Leia kissed Luke, married Han, and apparently fucked Chewbacca" -You do the truffle shuffle when you flash your tits. -"You've been running trains for weed, haven't you?" -I can imagine you do try hard to be cool considering the amount of blubber you have keeping your temperature up -Like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. -You ain’t no woman -Nothing cool about having 2 10 ton legs -Skyrim villager all gussied up -Did someone steal your floor trim or did you just get hungry? -Shes definitely handed out a bj or two in her highschool gym. -Mrs. trunchbull!?? -You look like Bilbo Baggins from the 1970’s animated rotoscope version of lord of the rings. -"I don't wanna roast her, I'm tryna see what that look like from tha back 💀" -Someone get the construction workers to fix that gap in her teeth -You’re just a slam pig… nothing more -She wears underwear with dick holes in them -You look like you flosh with 2x4's -Fatt Damon or Fle$ha. -You look like the male bully in an 80s movie -I can't roast you. But nails ON POINT🩷🩷🩷🩷 -I'm gonna get kicked off here for this. I don't see anything to roast. I don't know why you do this to yourself. Hold your head high. -You look like you study for a pap test. -You make Greta Thunberg look cool. -I didn’t even think Hilary Clinton would fuck you. -Got that neo skunk look going . -You look 50 and 13 at the same time -Vamp kids are out. Now it's all about the cave trolls. -"If homely was an Olympic event, you’d win the gold." -The voices inside your head dont count as giving you praise. -White 🗑️ -Praise for what? Squeezing your lard ass through the garage door? -You can barely see the straps on your hips holding the WIDE LOAD sign up... -"Do you have a pen? -- -- -- -Get back in it before the farmer knows you have escaped." -Those pants look like a gravy delivery system. -How many of your mom's boyfriends sexually assaulted you -the girl at the trailer park that exchanges sexual favors for taco bell -Ew -"You know how most people would be pretty if they just lost some weight? Yes, *most* people…" -Yuk! -You’re what my herpes would look like if it were a girl -Oh man she's a black guys wet dream right there. They love those thunder thighs. -What’s Brock Lesnar’s daughter doing here? -"If you’re here, who is guarding the bridge dishing out riddles?" -Coyote ugly. -"it's like she has a photo portfolio for ""*MAD"" magazine.*" -"Your Teacher and therapist saying ""you are special"" is NOT praise!" -These photos look like the chronology of your weight gain journey -Your hair looks like the fucking ice cream tub with vanilla and chocolate in it. -You look like a 40 year old mom woth room temperature iq -You look like something Billie Eilish hocked up from the back of her throat. -I’d fold -personal opinion just because you wear moon necklaces doesn’t mean you’re a witch at all -You look like what most guys call a practice girl ... -You look like you’re low key in love with a stage-managing frog. -you might be allergic to peanuts. stop eating peanuts. -I can hear you getting fatter -Wilford Brimley has some advice for you. -She looks like Janice Joplin fucked a bulldog -Looks like Sam Kinison in his prime. -People are just being nice -"Not much you can do about your face, but at least shoot for 'butter face' status and hit the gym" -When a deer decomposes on the side of the road and just swells up like a baloon -You should put your face piercing between your front teeth -"Chunky, time to get 🏋🏻‍♀️🚴🏻‍♂️🧘🏻‍♀️" -There’s no way you don’t smell like cat piss! -I bet you wax them large teeth -Definitely one of those “I only date black men” girls -You’re doing so many things right and none of them are skincare. -You look like you go to a community college just to freak out at other students and fail art. -Bro some of these comments! Why would anyone consent to this ? 🤣😂🤣 -"It's honorable that you've been volunteering at the lighthouse for the blind charity events, so the praise must be well deserved." -"Praise and positive reinforcement are the best methods of training, hands Down. - -Just in case English isn't your primary language, I'll save you the effort of translating my response:- - -Woof, woof woof, woof." -How are you gonna have just one facial piercing and let it be THAT? Looks like some weird orthodontics appliance. -Just drink some water. Not only will you be cool but you're skin will thank you for it. You look severely dehydrated. -"You look like a cool girl, but is only because you're a tryhard and need to be shit down." -"Who’s been praising you? -Buffalo bill" -"A good peice of advise to who ever wants to post pictures of them selfs on the internet is to always check the pictures that you are about to post -NOT like her" -The hard truth is that this is somebody’s BFF -This is what happens when you overfeed a hamster. It bulges out of its cage. -This is the kinda girl to spend an hour on the kitchen floor in ripped knickers examining a clove of garlic. -She's could definitely pick her nose with her thumb -"Good job avoiding the harpoons lately, but know this. Ahab will get you eventually." -Your horizontal self is almost as big as your vertical self. -You were the understudy for the white whale in Moby Dick. -How you stand makes me angry. Are you melting or do you need to piss? -U look like my buddy Cody -"> I try so hard to be cool - -Jesus, really?" -I finally found what it looks like when a scrotum tries to smile -You need to cool down on the calorie intake. -"No, you haven’t" -"First of all, you should join Zumba class" -Let me guess your pronouns are mc/donalds? -Honey you are Perfect the way you are. Don't let anyone tell you other wise as elvis would say walk in a man's shoes before you judge. -"You know you refuse to feed your bird until you get praises! - -You: ""C'mon Poly, tell me I'm a PAWG. I'll give you a treat!!!"" - -Polly: Fuck! This FAWB at it again..." -"Honestly, youre pretty dern cool" -No wtf Ur actually really pretty -you look like you bite. that’s all -I could smell your room form the picture and it smells like yeast infection and dirty ass -"In order for us to shoot you down, you'd have to be able to get yourself up first" -You look like you know a lot about pink eye. -You look like you stink ass -You’ve got to have some sort of degrading kink posting yourself like this -You look like the girl that the team takes turns on -Steven Tyler wants his hair back. -"No thanks, I don't like that much fat on my steak." -Stop squeezing into tight clothes to make ur butt big. We all know once the pants are off everything drops. -God forbid you take someone home to your hoarder house. Get off Reddit and pick up a broom. Yeesh -No need to get roasted. She probably will anyway! -You look like a girl from Love on the Spectrum who never gets a guy. -Dont try to ride a horse or elephant! Have mercy on them! -"Can't shoot you down, not moose season." -You chirp like a smoke alarm every time you get stroked in deep. -She is as cool as a dildo left out in the Arizona sun -Your father was an ogre and your mom was a Muppet. But u didn't inherit their good looks. -Does it whistle when you talk? -you look like you have the survival instincts of a toad. -Praise for what the home box dyed hair looks like shit your face is fucked you a re nearly fit but with wide hips .... you have all the curves in all the wrong places and that fucking tooth gap is cartoonish -Modeling the new clothing line from walmart and rockin the 2024 flock of seagulls hair -If you were someone else you’d be pretty hot. -Billie Eilish as a Geico caveman. -Oreo looking ass hair be thinkin u cute u the exact opposite of cute horrible -"A pat on the top of your head when you’re sucking off the football team isn’t really “praise”. - -And apparently the myth that cum is good for the complexion is exactly that….a myth." -Girl got so much “cake” that she couldn’t resist holding the entire bakery hostage -You're a try hard who's insecure. -Their nose points to the camera better than the rest of their face. - Not enough crest white strips in the world -"Wear clothes that fit and clean up those caterpillar eyebrows, then maybe stop trying to be cool. Not giving a shit if someone thinks you're cool is much cooler, lol. - -Halter tops were stupid even when they were "" in style "", so maybe whatever definition of "" cool "" you've heard was just, well . . . Wrong. ♡" - Your not ugly so i can't roast you -"You look like you just had an emotional breakdown and is posting it on instagram, only to have another one after reading the comments" -"everything about you looks authentic, keep doing you. also, i absolutely love the way you express yourself with your clothing. <3" -"Ngl your beautiful, don't let these people get to you. Anyone that says otherwise will never be truly happy in their own skin." -You look like you like frogs -Those pants look like they're full of creamed corn and door knobs -In the toaster oven at 400 degs. For 40 minutes. Perfect. -Ima get roasted here for this but the jacket on pic 3 is sweet no need to roast. -You look lile you’re late to go push a kid off their bike and take their hat. -"You look like you tried to be too cool at the parties In hs, and are paying for it now" -Are you trans? -"Suggestions: -1. Teeth whitener - Your smile would look nicer if your teeth were close to your skin complexion. -2. Suntan on body - You are reeeeally pale below the head, it doesn't match your face. -3. Exercise - Physique is wonderful, just needs to be toned up. Try hiking a mile each day if possible, Push-ups, squats, leg-lifts...easy exercises that yield great results over 6 months. - - -Please take the listed recommendations kindly, I mean you no harm as I think you're pretty as is. Have a great day/week/month/year!" -"Nope. You seem pretty cool. Although a ton younger than me, I bet we could have a great friendly relationship and laugh about a lot of shit together. You seem like you have a hell of a sense of humor too." -You look like a future high school gym teacher that plays semi-pro softball every weekend and alternating Wednesdays. -Love the blonde tints! -Damn you're a babe... You know that pig that gets lost in the city. -I would have an easier time coming up with a roast if my attention wasn't being sucked into that abysmal black hole of a gap between your teeth. -You look like some guys future ex-wife(but a good time) -You look like you could be one of those girls from Pixar or DreamWorks... Kind of like a cross between a couple of them. Like 50% Poppy from trolls and 50% Eep Crood. -I think you need to pick a gender and stay w it. -Are you a guy? -"Dear god, you look worse than me and you're a smoothskin. I look like i've gone half-Feral." -"There is no such thing as cool. It’s an image people have in their heads that makes them feel more comfortable about themselves. Being fun and energetic, social, trustworthy and loyal are the things that matter. - -Roast… - -In image 6 - -You look like I just sexually failed you once again… lose those standards girl :) wait I roasted me !" -If Kesha was never famous -"You look like my friends, ugly sister" -You’re ugly but not Amanda Bynes ugly -you look like a fatter uglier version of Rogue from xmen -Maybe in a blizzard. -You look like my cousin Steven -If you can handle it that's OK. I worked on cars for 28 yrs. My favorite part was we all made each other. It was a lot of fun. -You are supposed to buy clothes that look good on you. I realize that is probably pretty hopeless. -Damn I could fit the empire state building in between your front teeth -It's a practice girl. -"Well, I think you’re pretty 🤩" -Praise for going potty like a big girl all by yourself? -"There’s been a murder! - -My erection just died…" -Pronoun for you haven’t been invented yet. -You’re the definition of a slumpbuster. -The type every guy wants for just a night -I didnt know Chunk from The Goonies was trans. Please Do NOT do the Truffle Shuffle. -Love your curves in pic 4 -I'm sure skinny older black men love you -"OP, are you cis or trans? Just asking, nothing personal." -You look like Peppermint Patty from Charlie Brown. -comment -You look exactly like everyone expects an unemployed arts graduate to look like. -ellen degenderless -You look like you have to roofie your dildo -"What has the most holes, your face or your resume?" -Jobless is double redundant after we see your picture and know you have an art degree. Good luck at Starbucks or Onlyfans if you’re a chick. I honestly can’t tell  -But can you spell people's names right on their cups? -Don't art degrees come with Starbucks applications on the back though? -Ur probably really good at making protest signs for things you will contribute absolutely nothing to. -"25, F, art degree, jobless, predictable outcome" -"Haha, you said fart degree!" -Buttcheek chin lookin mf -Having a Deviantart Portfolio of furries doesn't qualify you as an artist tho -Transitioning went horribly wrong for the Milky bar kid -You're motto is 'still finding myself' which means always masturbating. -Both genders reject you -Does the 'F' stand for Femboy? -You answer the question: what if a robot nutted all over the face of a woman who doesn't contribute anything to society? -Jobless with an art degree?? Shocking. -"""Bisexual Harry Potter, master of dark farts""" -Your the reason why orcs and elf's don't fuck eachother -Your pronouns are fuck/off -"Art degree=long term jobless. Possibly even totally unemployable. Bit old to start training to mop floors at McDonald's. - -Better start looking for a sugar daddy that has exceedingly low standards and expectations." -Lonely fans. -"Are you a lady F or an “I have a cock” F? - -I need to know how bored I should be. " -"You told us you have an art degree, telling us you are jobless is just meaningless and pointless. You know, like your existence." -Come on no one making fun of thay chin! It's the butt of the joke! -Gender studies degree is considered art these days huh -I bet that chin can fart -The 'F' is for 'Formally male' huh? -Metal detector is very pleased when you make an apperance. -"So you paid to study to be more creative, -and still chose to look like that." -Leave some roasts for us -F?... -Yeah - just yuck. -"I've seen plenty of butt chins, but never one with a hole before!" -"Smart move destroying your appearance to match your ""neurodivergence,"" or whatever excuse you have for being a fuckin weirdo. Simplifies things" -"By looking at you, Even if you didn't take your tongue out, there was a 100 percent chance it was pierced." -You look like everything currently wrong with todays society -"No need to add the jobless part, we know" -You can blow your nose and wipe your ass at the same time! -"What’s the difference between an art degree and a pizza? - - - -A pizza can feed a family of 3." -"Hey, someone’s got to take up the shitty courses , otherwise who’ll pack my groceries and make my coffee?" -Since when has an art degree ever meany anything other than jobless. -Someone deflated your chin -Now I know a boy can be a lesbian. -I can see more red flags here than in a Chinese embassy -Washed up oxygen thief -Trainspotting's Sickboy on estrogen -Why do these failures at life always be the same? Strange pronouns overly attached to genders weird haircuts even though they are not longer 15 and buy still wanting to be rebellious. Is this just a white woman in her only 20s standard -You look like someone who did the character design on concord and I assume that's why you are jobless -"Where does the woman start and the man end? No one knows, that's the fun." -Went to college but don’t know the difference between male and female -"Let me guess, pronouns😑😑😑" -Looks more like an Altar boy -"After reviewing your photo, “art degree, and jobless” don’t seem very relevant to the topic title anymore - -“F” however, that was a key piece of information I could not get from the photos at all." -Definitely didn’t need to say art degree and jobless. Definitely needed to say female though. -What kind of thing are you? -So that Liberal Arts Degree shit the bed? -"25, F, art degree, jobless - -Does the ""F"" stand for failure, fugly or the other word that obviously applies to you?" -"Hi, sorry. Late to the roast... anyway.. what the fuck are we looking at here..." -What in the crimson chin -What do you expect? You can't get hired with a fart degree -"You could have just said art degree, the jobless part is implied." -Couldn’t find a job with an Art degree? Huh. -"Didnt need to add the “jobless” bit, you have an art degree so its assumed." -Fart degree nice! -You’re the reason people are against student loan forgiveness -We can smell you through this picture. -"Your pronouns are thee-thine tooth fairy. And your dildos pronouns are he, she, butch!" -Goonies never say die. -How do you turn on notifications for someone’s obituary? -"You could have just said art degree, the jobless comment was kinda redundant" -More like Fart degree with that butt chin! -"25, Fart degree, Jobless (no shit)." -Booty chin having ass 😂💀💀 -You didn’t have to mention jobless we could tell -Looking in the mirror is probably a roast enough for yourself -"F,art degree. It's French for fart" -You would be jobless even if you chose the most valuable degree for the job market when you're in a wheelchair -Typical -Ah yes the nose piercings of insecurities -You could be a stand in for Peter Griffin's chin. -"Art degree. I don't think you need any roasting from us, the life is going to roast you without our help." -Your entire personality is a combination of trends. You think you’re unique when you actually follow a crowd and every ounce of your being has been crafted by someone else -Besides 25 and F I inferred all of those things in your title -Bro get a job -Jobless….Genderless……Hopeless -How's climate change activism going ? -They crimson chin -You are 86.8% Nose -American Dad head shape -Definitely trans. So not F…M -What even is that? -"If you sent me the description of the piercings and the haircut , i could write all the rest myself without errors." -"Nothing says mommy and daddy paid for it like ART DEGREE. You know they were hoping you’d find a mate while they were wasting their hard earned money, right?" -i've read Fart degree. With this i would haven't a job too -Fart degree? -Art degree and jobless? Who would’ve guessed that? 🤔 -"No need to repeat jobless, art degree was a dead giveaway. - -Nose ring is probably the only ring she'll ever get." -Of course art degree -lol F/art degree 😅 -Fart degree. -All the extra holes and still only getting fucked by hiring managers. -Jobless. Not chinless -"It's kinda redundant to put jobless after ""art degree""...." -"25, Fart degree? You definitely earned it." -You’ve got a Fart degree? -Did you mean to add comma and a space between F and art???? -Jobless linda seems redundant in your description. -Didn't know there were college courses for farting.. -Be more careful around the tackle box next time -Art degree and jobless go together better than you and mental illness -Read it as Fart degree. -I want your superman chin -"Thanks, this picture helped induce vomit for my dog." -lol fart degree -“Jobless” and “art degree” are redundant. You’re parent (single for sure) must be proud. -You didn’t have to include jobless. We already knew after you said art degree. -I read Fartdegree -You look like the baseball player on a package of big league chew with that chin -"You look like the leftist poster child. - -What?! - -She does." -Just a heads up you don't need to tell people you have an art degree and jobless. We already can see that -Showing your holes will be the only way you will use your art degree -That butt chin looks like it takes big shits -"I mistakenly read this as ""25, Fart degree"", and after looking a your pictures, it might not have been misread." -Fart degree??? -You didn’t need to give us a description…. We can tell -At least you can blow your nose and wipe your ass at the same time with a chin like that. -i think u need uplifting not roasting in ur life -Im not so sure about the female part in your bio... -You didn’t have to say jobless. You can just say art mager -I could literally tell all those things just by looking at you. -"You don’t have to tell us you were jobless, we can smell." -"Hark gasp. A pointless degree equates to no employment opportunities. - -I don’t know what’s less shocking: that, or the fact you loon like every art stereotype ever thought of." -"You look like you have a major, oh sorry CoNsEnTrAtIoN, in gender studies and you are still confused on what gender you are." -"Spokesperson of ""you need to go this protest and raise hell! SILENCE IS VIOLENCE! Of course I can't go because of my neurodivergence and asthma.""" -your credit score is just as pathic as your degree -"With that face you're not Jobless, you're unemployable." -You forgot to add that you are in fact a vegan trans lesbian. -"You HAD to write F, or no one would have been sure." -"""Art degree"" followed by ""jobless"" is redundant." -"After reading ""art degree"",I was more certain that you're jobless than female." -hehe fart degree -I read this as 25 Fart -"So you wasted 50 grand to look like that and be jobless? -Good luck delivering pizzas" -25 Fart degree ? -Fart degree -My wife graduated fine art in 2008 after the financial collapse and then worked in toys r us for a bit she said it was the biggest come down ever. Sorry no roast there but hey enjoy your future career prospects -"It says 25 f art degree , gotta love it." -25 Fart more like -"Good thing you let us know you were female, otherwise there would no way to be sure by your pic." -"Let me guess, Kamala Harris for president?" -It's gotta suck seeing all these dark roasts. Must feel like you're at work. -You definitely have a fart degree -"Art Degree, Jobless - - -Pick a disability" -“Art degree” you kinda roasted yourself on that one. -Your chin dimple could house the meteor that extinct the dinosaurs -The pandemic’s over. You don’t have to cut your hair at home anymore -Saying art degree and jobless is redundant -Your cats can't wait to start eating you . . . -fart degree -Well you still have 2 more years to join the 27 club -"F,art degree" -"The DEI was invented for people like you, and you still can’t get a job…" -Only person I've heard of that bought a vibrator and broke out their two front teeth. -"When people ask your parents how your doing in life , they say “ she’s finding herself “ 🫵🏾😭" -"You already said Art Degree, the jobless part is implied" -This little piggy went to the unemployment office... -Read that as ‘fart degree’ -Save some pussy for the rest of us dude -Transition back -"It’s alright we all know you have rich, disappointed parents." -just here to see if anyone made a quagmire joke -Heh Fart degree -After meals do you wipe your chin from back to front? -Fart degree. Haha. Hahahahah. -Nothing to roast you about that your description didn't already say -Definitely was called Lewis before their transition -Why did you have to say jobless? The art degree was enough of a tell -We got that you was jobless from the moment you put art degree. You could always make money giving chin jobs to truckers. -Roast you? Your entire life is a roast… -Congratulations you have the most useless degree going 👏 -You look like you would comment “queers for palestine” under any video made by a Jewish person. No that is not a flex -"Surely you must’ve seen that description of your life coming?! A f*cking art degree, cus that’s gonna help you get a job in the real world. Then again, you definitely look a few strokes short of the full picture" -"Screams Biden voter and you don’t even know why you hate trump. Take that dumbass ring out of your nose, while your at it take out the lip one too." -Art degree! Lol 😂 your gonna be jobless for quite some time -Cool another girl jobless girl with a pointless degree -gee...can't figure out why your jobless? Maybe a mirror might hold the answer -"Honest to God, I thought your description was Fart Degree. -Then I saw your picture" -Where is trans waldo? Found it! -It looks like you bought the lies that stole your beauty your mind and your future. -The perfect Kamala Harris voter. -What do people really intend to do with an art degree besides work the register at Starbucks? -Lesbian fullstop... -Is that a little boy or another woke fairy that thinks there gender is a million different things -If Eminem and Peter griffin had a baby -I wish you wouldn't have given a description so I could've guessed -She's definitely the type of person who thinks she would have gotten more compliments than insults even tho she posted on roastme -Wow the Crimson Chin had a daughter huh -"The poster child for a liberal college education that leads to no job. The ubiquitous nose ring because ""I'm unique"". I bet your bedroom in you parents house has Kamala 2024 posters. Secretly mad Bernie got put on the backburner again." -Yea we know -You really didn’t need to put jobless after art degree. The degree said enough. -Normally when I talk to an art student I tell them I’d like a long black with no sugar. -Easy. Get woke go broke! -I first read that as Fart degree …and it still didn’t shock me -Getting an Art degree in this economy is diabolical 💀 -"You didn't need to put jobless after art degree, it's redundant." -Did you just assume your gender? -"25, Fart degree, jobless" -Welp. Time to make an OF I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️ -"We didn't need the info, we know." -You look like you ended up in the trunk of a car humming a Dido song -Thank god you put “F” because I don’t have been able to tell the difference -Jobless was an unnecessary addition.. art degree said it all -They /them - unemployed/unemployable -Art degree and jobless is redundant -Looks like you fell into a tackle box. -Honestly I didn’t even need the title to figure this out -"You didn't have to tell us about the art degree or unemployment. - -We can already tell" -"You didn’t have to mention jobless, we understood that from art degree" -You look exactly what you describe yourself to be but you’re very cute. I’m not here to roast. I don’t get really the roast thing. -"Read this a ""fart degree"" didn't even give it a second thought" -"You didn’t have to give details, the photos were enough." -Jobless is redundant😂 -"Yes, I’d like a coffee with two creams and one sugar please." -First time OnlyFans wasn’t a viable option. -"Well you met everyone's expectations of what looking an acting like this becomes, that's a win for validating it." -comment -The opening scenes of a BBC special on the most disturbing child trafficking ring in the UKs history. -"Huh, I never knew Shaggy had a lesbian aunt. Nice family pic." -Those double decker gums 💀 -gum and gummer -"You look like you yell ""no homo"" everytime you make love to each other." -You guys look like you take turns eating corn the long way. -"One of you can't go outside because of the sun, the other can't go outside because of Megan's Law" -Left looks like he just learned how to masterbate for the first time. Right looks like he taught him and is ready to celebrate with pizza rolls. -Penis and Butthead -Just fuck already and keep us out of it. -"The guy on the left looks like a 6 year old with the body of a middle aged janitor - -The guy on the right looks like shaggy craving dick instead of food." -The grime at the bottom of the gene pool -bro in the front look like hes trying on a child's dentures -Temu Frodo & Sam -“We have Shaggy and Velma at home.” -The last thing a sock sees before it gets used and thrown under the bed -Before and after meth addiction. -"Guy on the right looks like he’s never owned a razor, guy on the left looks like he wishes he could." -Y’all got dolphin teeth -Mark Zuckerberg’s aborted brothers -Your tiny teeth scare me -"Is that a Beard, or did you just fall asleep in others' dudes crotch after he finished💦 and his pubes got stuck to your chin" -Bill and Ted's homosexual Adventure -"Discount Shaggy and transgender, half-transitioned Elon Musk" -everyone here knows which one is the bottom -"You've dated for years, punched each other's V-card, hope to marry, and are obviously related." -I didn’t know Dream and Elon Musk were brodies -"You both look like you secretly love each other but are too afraid of each other. - -Remember, two bottoms do not make a top." -"Y’all look like y’all were twins at one point, except one started meth at 13(on the right) and the other one stayed on the straight and narrow until he went to prison for sexually assaulting a penguin at the San Diego Zoo" -"For the one on the left, a lesbian from 1992 called they would like their hair cut back, for the one on the right fuck you." -"Dude in red: embodiment of the phrase ""You rapscallion!"" -Dude with goatee: About to go eat a 14 story sandwich and run away from an animatronic skeleton -The two of you: Look like you are about to go to a community college and are majoring in animation and minoring... well nothing, your not allowed near minors. Not after the last time." -"Y'all star in a web series called ""Red Dwarf Rejects.""" -Dude in the right if peanut butter gamer was not a YouTuber -"I have never seen child molesters look so excited - and I went to a Catholic school!! - -Have fun boys... or fun with boys... Whatever, you do you hey..." -The one on the right eats the ass of the Edward Furlong-looking they/them woman on the left. -That mufucka got dolphin teeth -You two remind me of the oatmeal I threw away this morning.. Thick and Gummy -Canadian Magic the Gathering tournament semi finalists 3 years running. -PB and Jeff fell in some unfortunate times. -"One can't grow a beard, so the other in sympathy shaved his pubes and helped glue them on the others face." -One of you is a Disney adult. The other one needs to put the scissors down. -Try flossing once in a while. Your gums are quite swollen -Aren’t you both on Little People Big World? -The picture roasts itself -This relationship is doomed… two bottoms. -You two look like you swap your sisters’ underwear -The result when you cross an orc with a Hobbit. -the twins meth and crack -"3 years, I've lurked on Reddit, and you both are so god damn ugly it warranted me posting for the first time." -Itchy and Scratchy -Kmart Mario and Luigi with aids -"Dude on the left: Just because you have a ""fitted"" hoodie t shirt doesn't mean it fits. Let those chubby guns breathe brother. -Dude on the right: Snort some more adderall and I know you'd be more than willing to help him slide out of that ugly tight shirt and into something ""a little more comfortable""" -Identifies as He/Him and Dirty/Filth -Beavis and butthead real life! -"You want a roast? Fine here’s one. -Bunch of goofy looking silly gooses. Total knuckleheads. You look like pros at tomfoolery." -"Who can't be within 500 ft of a school? Ginger and Vitus, that's who." -This is what a girl who'd just been roofied at a college party would wake up to -Add them up and you’re still short from a full set of chromosomes -Jesus chisrt i didnt know that shaggy and scott primgim had kids -Lord of the Rings called. They want their hobbits back ! -When you guys fuck it smells like cheetos -My guy is rocking a JoJo shirt. Roasting him is not possible with that kinda drip on. -"Imagine being a Native American hundreds of years ago, never seen a white person, and then one day this shit just rock ups." -Jesus. The one on the left looks like the gay love child of Frodo and Elon Musk. -You guys 69 eachother for apple juice -You both peaked when you dodged your mom's coat hanger. -Nice to see Shaggy and Dexter from Dexter’s Lab all grown up! -This isn’t the homeless shelter -Happy pride month guys! -average hillbillies -You both look like you fought for who gets to be bottom -Frodo Shaggins -"I already swiped left on grinder, I didn't want to see that face twice" -Dude on left looks like crackhead Edward Furlong -"Hobbits belong in the shire, not on reddit" -You look like you play with each others’ pre-cum. -The basements have eyes -Gumbelievable -LIKE ZOINKS SCOOB GOT ANY OF THAT FENTANAL THERE!? -Michael Caines autistic nephew and Matthew Lillard's gingivitis are growing up together. Adorable. -I’ve never been more certain two people have buried a hooker together in my life. -"Red shirt looks like a discount Jack Black. -White shirt looks like he dresses up as Shaggy on halloween" -Merry and pippin took too much meth after the lord of the rings royalties went dry. -Crack Harlow -Tobey maguire and shaggy -You two look like separate people 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’m a shitty roaster -"It's time to get a new wardrobe. You're not in high-school anymore. - -Ngl yall remind me of some of the people i already hang with haha." -Look like a younger distorted version bam margera and Johnny knoxvile -"I’d tell the guy on the right to ditch the Jojo shirt and dress like an actual adult, but his friend’s trying to do that exact thing and failing miserably." -This roast won't burn as much as the gonorrhea you get from scissoring each other. -I think that red shirt or whatever that garment is needs to be roasted. Like burn that thing bro. What even is that? A short sleeve hoodie thingy. Looks like it came out of the wardrobe for Revenge of the Sith -The hills have eyes and big gums apparently -The guy on the left looks like Emmet from the Lego movie -dude on the left looks like the person that lures the child into the van and the guy on the right is driving -"Look like Fred and Shaggy, but the only mystery you’re trying to solve is how to lose your virginity" -"In all seriousness, dude on the right has gingivitis. Your gums are taller AND thicker than your teeth. And so red." -Weird losers -Your new bunk mates in the asylum waking you up for ‘pancakes day’. -You guys overslept the day God was handing out chromosomes -How often do you need to air out your room? -You look like you escaped The Hills Have Eyes then cousin fucked. -What type of orphanage is this -Looks like a shitty drug dealer trying to trick a 14 year old into buying oregano. -jack harlow lookin ass -It’s giving the before and after photos for trying meth -Why? -One of you If not Both Will Definitely jack r*pe your Fat cousin 🤣 -I have never seen a photo further away from deodorant -"Dude on the right looks like shaggy on meth, and the guy on the left must be the dog he fucks named scooby" -I don't need to. Genetics and the passage of time got that roast cooking. -You jerk it ill drink it budd -Yall look like the type to be arrested for illegally distributing cheat codes for video games -"nah, cant disrespect the gold experience drip" -“Let’s put in butt plugs and post on r/RoastMe” -I don’t even want to roast the middle aged lesbian on the left. I’m concerned she has a thyroid or circulatory problem. She has the proportions of a cartoon bully. -Scum and scummer -Lead Sheeran and Crack Harlow -Shaggy and his lesbian bf -Mouth open is the most effeminate way to pose for a pic. Dude on the right should grow some teeth for those guns and I can tell dude on the left needs to get that heart rate up if you are working out because the fat burn zone is 130-160. -"The first thing she sees when the burlap bag is removed from her head! - -Edit: and last" -You look like best friends and funny guys. -You are like the default image of what a pizza delivery driver looks like -The new Jay & Silent Bob remakes looks like shit… -Something tells me the one on the left has a skinsuit and the one on the right isn't allowed within 500ft of parks and elementary schools -"You fucked the squirrels morty! Aw jeez rick, was it your turn?" -Modern day wojacks -"Y'all def experimented with each other in college while on mushrooms (y'all weren't enrolled, just were diddling each other in the bushes behind the campus)" -I feel like this is what Julian and Ricky looked like before the trailer. -Y’all are the TEMU dum and dummer -"Can't be bothered to come up with a decent roast, but why do you both look like cardboard cutouts? Particularly red shirt guy?" -"""Bro, it'd be hilarious if we jerked off in each other's mouths."" - -""Stop! How are you reading my mind bro?! But we gotta stare deep in each other's eyes when we do it."" - -""Haha! Yes! Thus is gonna be so funny!"" - -""The funniest thing people have ever seen! Going Viral for this!""" -virgin jews -he's my fwend -“Top lips have left the chat” -what did my guy on the left do to his barber for them to mess him up that badly? -Dipshit on the right looks like the Aurora movie theater shooter if he became homosexual -One on the right looks like my brother. -On the right he has the tiny teeth and big gums that’s all balls no cock -The dude on the left looks like he got 23 personalities -Tweak and Tweaker -Piss -"Are we supposed to ignore that disgusting looking floor? - -How can you stand laying prone bone on that with your buddy?" -Jesus -"Left looks like their transitioning into less of a bitch. Dude on the right looks like if he bit you, you'd gain the ability to sense all the children in a 3 mile radius." -Peado and Peadoer -Your teeth and that dudes face both have massive foreheads -Alien called. She wants her inner teeth back immediately. -You and your brother had sex after this picture didn’t you? -"I mean listen, you're giving us too much to work with - -The dude on the left looks like a lego character when you give them different hair, he also looks like he used to have a plushie youtube channel called ""James Sonic Studios"" - - -and the guy on the right is, well, a weeb (Giorno shirt) which explains the inflated gums (like yo gums so inflated your teeth look like they've shrunk) and the plaque spreads like peanut butter. - Plus he looks like the Dream equivalent of the mr Breast ripoff, fever dream ahh mf - - -Also those bed sheets must be crunchy (jizzing incident) which is why you don't make your bed" -"Two white knights, ready to simp over any female that talks to them" -Y���all look like you just both drank a five gallons of Mountain Dew and I love it -When your chosen career path is both child entertainer AND child molester. -You look like 2 guys who hang out in the middle of a swamp somewhere then capture college kids who were unlucky enough to cross through your territory -God already did enough of that when he made you 2 -Crackhead with his youth pastor drug dealer -Bend over so we can talk face to face -Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dipshit -Shaggy and Frodo -Ya’ll look like the before and after for a product that made things worse -Why would I roast shaggy and scooby you already look roasted -Is your nickname ‘gummy’ by chance? -I can’t tell who the pitcher and who the catcher is -Dumb and Gummer -Monster energy should have you at the forefront of their next media campaign -You look like the robbers from home alone -Lord farqaud and shrek -Is that a short sleeve sweater? Why? -"We pop pimples on each other's asses with our tiny teeth for foreplay. ""It's like a million tiny ejaculates on our giant gums, yum pimple spouge!"" ""Honey. when you fart, it makes me horny AND hungry!""" -Gingivitis -Just two unremarkable easily forgettable dudes -Dudes still waiting for his big boy teeth to come in. -You look like you try and lure children into your white panel van with “candy.” -You look like velma and shaggy from scooby doo if they did fent 💀 -Brush your teeth! Godamn! -Dude on the left looks like a paedofile and the victim at the same time. Dude on the right wants to be the victim -All I can see is a budget Canadian version of Bill and Ted. -"The guy on the left looks like Tobey Maguire after starting alcohol widthdrawls - -Guy on the right definitely forces rats to pay rent." -U two suck each others cocks while watching anime -"Guy on the right looks like Shaggy's autistic cousin, Shuggy." -Yep that’s a trailer -Dude In red looks like Morty when he had the big arm 😂 -Guy in the right looks like he crawled out of tommy pickles diaper -Well well well. If it isn’t the Blowjob Brothers -Dolphinteef -u both look adorable btw the guy with the beard kinda looks like dream -Brojobs -I feel pretty confident that you’re siblings. Yeah? -You got a licence to carry those gums? -"Can’t, im scared." -You're both the DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) but one gives cop vibes and the other is giving smackhead -Literally looks like he got dropped as a kid🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 -Motherfucker on the left got some arms -"That room must stink of bong water, failure and masturbation" -Dang I misspelled you -tell me you're ready to bite a baby without saying it -I wanted to see the news not animal planet -The guy in the white shirt has such a unique beard. I want to dip it in my favorite color and use it to paint my basement. -The Crack Street Boys -"You dudes both transitioned reasonably well, left used to be a woman and right used to be a horse." -"The chick in the red shirt looks crazy, like she enjoys asking for the manager." -"Nice shirt, Giorno Giavirgin." -"You guys look like you are young, having fun, and don’t give an shit. I’m actually jealous and I’m glad you found each other. There is no other feeling quite like brotherhood. Enjoy your time together before your bad choices catch up with you and turn your lives into nightmares" -"My girl said she would let me shit in her pussy and she would eat it out herself before she would sleep with either one of you for $1,000 a piece that's fucked up I think I'm fixing to break up with my girl" -"The guy on the left went to the tailor and said ""make me a shirt that has a collar and a hoodie, but they should both make the shirt look like it's being worn frontside back and inside out at the same time"" -The guy on the right walked into a barber shop and kept walking out the back door." -If homo could be people? -Red shirt is confused about their gender and I know the guy on the right smells like shit 100% of the time. -Jacking off together for 30 years -The dude wotht he stubble looks like grover underwood as a human -"I can't believe that your punchable zoomer faces are still coming up on my feed. People must really, really hate you guys. (Which, granted, is probably no surprise to either one of you.)" -Looks like they have a top ten list of favorite house hold items to fuck -"I sometimes click on this sub to post something witty then look at the first comment and say, nah, my job has already been taken care of." -It looks like they’re rebooting jack ass but it’s fap ass. -I don't even know wtf I'm looking at. -Sad the things Shaggy will do for a Scooby snack… -Mom...Dad... Jermey and I are together -“You better believe we’re firing up the Eras Tour tonight!” -They definitely live in a trailer park -The lesbian on the left and her gay twink son -Autistic Horses 🐴 🧩 Can I get a *NEIGHHHHH* man -They are two dungeons and dragons fanatics -How the Whitakers started. -These are in fact the whitest kids anyone knows. -It's Harry Potter and that kid who plays shaggy - only from wish.com -"Guys this is the TV show, ""How I met your father!!"" I love this show!" -POV from victims of Larry and Gary Hall ... -Where’s Harry at though?! I see Mo and Curly but the trifecta ain’t complete! -Put down the crack and walk away from the phone. -I’m gonna wake up tied to a chair and you to are gonna be standing there with some devious idea to force me into a man sized cannon and shoot me at some public official along with some pudding or something -Guy on the left looks like AntVenom in his old videos -You could replace your vertically challenged teeth and slenderman gums with the bacon stripes with the fat-rolls on them and not notice a visual difference -"I will delete this photo from my memory, I allready have a bacterial infection and I dont want a virus in my brain." -Council estate Ant & Dec if they were brothers and fucked their father. -Bitch Cassidy and the post-trans kid -Elijah Wouldn’t and MatthEw LilLard -"I'm so glad you finally got your cut rate sketch comedy duo off the ground. - -Sadly, That Mitchell Webb Look already exists." -You two kidnappers ain't promising -Velma and shaggy really let themselves go... -Scratch and Sniff -Ya'll didn't have to murder the starks at the wedding just cuz they were prettier than you. -2000s stoner comedy ahh selfie -Their shaggy and Velma -Mork Zuckaturd and Shogqy. The team up we never knew we didn't need. -You are both the guys who say “I will do anything for a $1” -You look like a Comedy Duo that was doing great interstate but went broke when they toured into the big city. One looks like a 12 year old white kid in an adult's body. The other has a gum line greater than my future. -Lego hair and Letgo hair -Scooby Dooby EW -Ones drives a Subaru and one’s gum line is worse than their hairline. -You are awful. That is all. -I can't decide which one of you is wearing the weirdest outfit. -Maybe if you titans eat some more people you finally be able to return to you human form -"Gotta be honest, new Scooby and shaggy look like shit" -Why? What would be the point. -Holy hell! Dude on the right looking like a Jackass character with 30 years of rehab fighting under his belt -Who lost the adderall arguers or robotripping distant cousins that both bought the wrong bottles and aren’t “feeling it” yet. -"Oh look, it's methed up Shaggy and the kid he picked up with a free candy sign on the Mystery Machine." -Mal Cop goes on Vacation with Krusty the Klown -"Guy on the left looks like he was created by an AI, dude on the right looks like Dream if he was a stoner." -Guy on the left looks like if Shaggy never tried weed. The other guy just looks like regular Shaggy. -"Ellen takes a selfie with the lead of the self funded scooby do spin off docuseries ""the scooby snacks were meth""" -Laverne and Surely that's supposed to be a guy right? -What a cute couple. How many times have y'all docked today? -"If gums were teeth, you’d have better teeth." -Megan's law is prolly posted to your door every morning... or at least it SHOULD be... -Wreck it Ralph and scooby doo mashup -Looks like two Garbage Pail kids with gingivitis. -dream and mark zuckenberg collab? -"It looks like you guys might be into this, but you could practice mutual flossing" -Bathroom enema bros for life. -"Between the two of you, in miles, feet and inches… how much cock have you sucked?" -Bonnie and Formaldehyde -I bet these two are jerking each other off while reading the comments.. -Is this pre or post reacharound pic?? -Which one is Chaz and which one is Dave? -your gums are so swollen please floss for 3 days in a row -"You, on the right, should really consider better dental care. You look like your average meth addict from Lousiana" -Shaggy got another chromosome and some dude he probably met when he was high. -"One looks like Bam Magera on even more meth, and the other looks like a lesbian cosplaying as Elon Musk" -Nothing funny about incest -Jesus fucking Christ -I ain't doing God's work. He's done enough. -Dream and Nolan but deformed -Fug Fugly and Snortz Anyfing. -Bam Margern't -Your picture should be listed under colon polyps in a medical book. -The guys you hire when you have to do a re-enactment of a child abduction for your YouTube channel but aren't allowed within 500 feet of a school. -Virgins -You guys look like PSA video content for what happens if you don’t clean your foreskin. -You look like you own and operate white minivans around playgrounds. -"Guy on the right, did you know your mum on the left is a lesbian? Not that there’s anything wrong with that." -The aftermath of the drugs from 21 jump street. -The fucking cavity on the front tooth is atrocious. Give it 2 years and you’ll look like someone off of ‘the hills have eyes’. -When you find out that the Jackass guys really had underpaid stunt doubles. -Trans to tans 😆 -If you two were anymore inbred you'd be a sandwich. -"Are your names Neil and Bob, or is that just what you do?" -You teo look like you develop undertale knockoffs -The laundry in the background and your obvious lack of facial cleansing hygiene leads me to believe you both have had competing amounts of staph infections -Looks like a lesbian in remission from cancer with her brother who has gum disease and chronic virginity. -Fucking Shaggy and Ron Weasley better not be having a four-way with Scooby-Doo and Dobby -they definitely share a van with a dingy mattress in the back -Somehow i can actually smell this picture. -Y’all are inversed these 2 https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/986HuOEms2 -Bone Jett (Joan Jett mid-transition) and Matthew Billiard (because you just boofed an 8 ball)... Zoinks! -I won't be surprised to see you two on dateline with Chris Hansen. -You're more autistic that me and I I thought that 1+1 is 3 -Shaggy’s teeth are holding on almost as tight as Humpty’s belief that their lives mean something -"Well for starters red shirt looks like he can’t step 10 feet near a kids school, and for curly haired guy welcoming to the stage for the first time the first ever autistic death metal band ever ladies & gentleman I present to you the one man band known as ERRRRR" -comment -"You look like you strategically engineer ""breaks"" with your boyfriend for when your older brothers friends are home." -This chick gives head with gum in her mouth -How many fast food restaurants fired you for incompetence? -Trying to be an influencer while you're being trafficked might not be the best idea 😐 -"If Jenna Ortega is Wednesday, this chick is a musty Thursday morning" -You need to be 18+ to get roasted. -"Face of a 40 year old divorced mom, body of a 12 year old" -onlyfans link in 3...2...1... -Blink twice if you’re being trafficked -You're the female lead in every indie film that makes terrible decisions while everyone else pays for them -"Covid-19 is no longer considered a public health emergency, so there's no need for your eyebrows to still be social distancing" -Pic 5 your biceps look like a bird shit on a washing line -Oil McPoyle -First date anal vibes… -You look like that bro's lil sister we all secretly had around with without him knowing. -The practice girl vibe is strong in this one. -"Wow, teacher arms already" -"I like you, but why did you shaved the middle of your eyebrow?" -"No, A. You want free attention. -B. You need free attention." -How many generations of incest were required to get that level of eye spacing? -"You can be a great “girlfriend” experience girl !!! -Try that for a summer" -"I hope you marry a plastic surgeon, fixing this shits gonna be expensive" -One of your tits is bigger than the other -How did you fit 100% of your face on 50% of your head? -Has one facial expression. Dead and headtilt -Am I supposed to be responding to these or what -Cookie cutter basic brunette al carte. You totally cook chicken without any seasoning. -OK sausage fingers. -You have the head to body ratio of a Bratz doll -pick me -In the third photo you look like the offspring of Tyrion Lanaster. -"Trying to level up from pouty toddler to a ’90s model, huh?" -The distance between your eyebrows is equivalent to the diameter of Garfield's stomach -Your nose looks like a Ferengi. -The darker the light - the better for you… -She already stole your hoodie and keyed your car for anal izing her… -Yeah I thought there was age restrictions. -She's one puff of the pipe away from selling her ass for 3 fitty -how many times you've been tossed around your guy friends when y'all plan to go on a wilderness camp. -"Damn girl did you swallow my door bell? - -Because your breath smells like my ding dong." -You have more biceps 💪 than teats ! -Ah yes the last one reveals the donor that you are then -You asked in a previous post if you have fat hands or short fingers. The answer is both. -"You can see it in her eyes, she would cut your dick off while you're sleeping." -Your duck lips are bigger than your biceps. -I don’t think there is supposed to be 3 inches between your eyebrows -megamind on crack -Rosie the Rimmer -You look like Angelina Jolie with more chromosomes -I liked you in The Ring -"I know a poor, desperate, Slavic woman when I see one. Sorry no mail order bride for you." -You look like you’re about two seconds away from either zoning out or asking where your juice box is. -How expensive were the lip fillers? -Always the booty call never the wife -WHY THE LLLLOONNGG FACE? -"MILF!!!!!!!!!!!! - -Maintenance is Likely Fatal" -What do ya still watch Garfield or something? Boom roasted! -The only thing thinner than you is your wallet. -Smella Purnell -Still in kindergarten? -Isn’t it past your bed time -Roasting you might be considered child abuse. -You look like a high grade chzech escort -You did a great job as a decoy in To Catch a Predator. I give you credit for holding it together when your dad was busted. -You got the edge of a butter knife. -Has anyone ever told you that you have fat hands? It’s the first thing I noticed. -You know damn well that bra is false advertising. -Looks like the girl in High school with way too many horse posters in her bedroom -"So you do your own hair, good for you!" -Your parents are pissed they didn’t use birth control -Itty bitty titty committee is callin! -I like how either your hair or your phone covered part of your face in each picture so we didn’t have to see the whole thing. -"You will make a cult leader happy one day... your addictive personality makes you a pleaser. But don't let that deter you from believing your OF page will be a success. Remember, teasers dont bring in the money." -You're the friend the other girls invite out to make themselves look better. -Somehow bighead returned…. -It’s like if the phrase “I’m *not* crazy! He shouldn’t have cheated on me!” had a face 🤣 -Those tits are smaller than the chance of me getting laid -If those eyebrows were any thicker you'd have a winter coat -No nut November didn't go very well for that forehead -face of a middle aged woman and the body of a 10 year old girl -Did anyone else see her right leg straight up in the air in the first pic? -Why is your nose so crooked -"You definitely give off those “fighting with you because you cheated on me in my dream” vibes, bet you’re proud of it too" -"Most low-effort, poorly-planned soft launch of upcoming OnlyFans in history. The earlier misdirection “not an OF girl” only other post about your hand is sad. ☹️" -Temu B-List version of Sasha Grey -She is a Russian mail-order bride that was returned -"This is the image that pops up on porn sites saying ""Russian Girls Want To Fuck!""." -Too bad your hands are fatter than your chest -Children shouldn’t be on this app. *Reported* -Does your dad let you screw other people besides him? -You just know she has a mouldy retainer -Jenna Whoretega -"You look like the generic default that the Create A Character screen starts on. - -Like genuinely you are the most generic ass looking thing I've seen that didn't have Great Value printed on it." -Forehead so big she knows what tomorrow nights dream is -Looks too young to be the subject of a roasting. Even for reddit -You have zero self confidence. Get off social media. -Not sure if you’re going for mysterious or just forgot to finish getting ready this morning. -i hope she’s at least 18 with all these comments yall are throwing at her… bc she looks like she’s in middle school fr -This Easy A needs Ds -You’d do better selling feet pics than face pics on OnlyFans. -You look like you're well known to the front desk clerk at the nearest hotel to your local military base. -You look like someone whose “uncle” touched one too many times -One day you’ll be out of your training bra -I can see you boiling my kids pet rabbit on the stove -Do your eyebrows catch and eat birds when you're outside? -You definitely gave hand jobs in the back row at youth group -On the 5th pic did you really think you got them gains? You need to fill them biceps up. Meh… but you could fill that chest up a little as well. -With those bags under your eyes looks like TJ Max left his nuts on your face -your eyebrows are divorcing faster than your parents -"Beautiful girl, cool shirt. Garfield loves lasagna, make some, feel better;)" -"You look like you apologize when you fart, even when you're alone and on the toilet" -"why are all replies to ""roast me"" just a rewording of ""you're a whore"", like, she's a normal girl i don't even get where that comes from and why it even is the most popular reply, isn't this supposed to be creative?" -Looks like guys will often stop having sex with her midway through because they’re bored. -That third video looks like demonic possession -Don't need to roast you. You did it yourself with pics 2 and 5 -Even your personality extends to your meth pipe -A face only an uncle could love -"So, is the ‘fake it till you make it’ look working, or are we still pretending you’re sophisticated?" -How many guys do you call daddy? -Olivia Rodrigu-no -Sulk Hogan -"You're definitely into some weird shit, you just have that look about you. I bet when you stay over your boyfriends place you probably go through the bin in his room trying to find some cum filled tissues to take home and froth over. - - -Just huffing dried cum while foaming at the mouth and flicking your bean, eyes glassed over looking like you have rabies..........disgusting." -Beauty school slop out -Saturday night special. done with and home by 10 before her mom gets upset. -I hope you reported whomever punched you in the face and gave you that unsightly fat lip -Are the niece of a the actress in a Hallmark Christmas movie? -You look like you've mastered the art of giving wanks with your bum cheeks. -Tell your 36 year old boyfriend it's illegal for you to send those kind of pictures. -Do you have 18 y ? -3rd pic looks like jenna ortega from shien -You fall in love with every guy who pays you for sex -Arms weaker than cooked spaghetti noodles the flex is insulting you enough -Looks like she just stopped breast feeding yesterday tf go to bed -"I Feel bad For The Garfield Shirt, i Would Be Lookin Shit, hazy, And Tired if I Was On Your Shoulders, yo Flex Built Like A Broken Half Of A Cheez-It" -Why do you have a vagina on your armpit? -Craigslist men offer to pay you not to speak. -Looking like a casting couch model tbh -İ would not offer you a drink if we met in a bar -Attention seeking like some shit. Begone jezebel. -Sorry we already filled the part for Wednesday. Better luck next time. -"Sweetie, that pose says 'I'm too cool for this,' but we all know you spent 20 minutes finding the right angle just to flex on everyone with your Target tank top." -I hate these only fans soon accounts especially when it’s a girl who we do not want to see naked. -Billy Not So Stylish -giving carbon copy of *I'm not like the other girls* -Isn’t it past your bed time ? Parents need to adjust the child mode ? -Who else thought the poll was her arm when scrolling down -String bean depressive wannabe -Thank abortion for keeping this bitch simi attractive -"She doesn’t post for likes, she posts for life support" -I usually see humans get roasted but there's a first time for everything -edna mode -If couldnt boil water wore a tank top. -great DSL’s -Diddy’s gottaway -Your boyfriends put a bag on your head to fuck you -Rosie the Riveter just got more masculine. -We found the secret identity of the super hero Spaghetti Arm Girl. Taking selfies next to the corpse that she was unable to save since 2020. -"You look like a caricature artist, made a picture of Margot Robbie from memory" -You speaka spani? -Idk why everyone here says she is being trafficked. No one would want her -Fat handed bitch -E -You look like dan schneider saw your feet but didn’t find you cast worthy for a shot as an extra on I Carly -"Looks like you have been busy with your head than your Hand, it's like someone kept a well-cooked Turkey with a Baby Fork to eat." -"You wrote your slash wrong, dumbass." -You’ve definitely driven a guy to an ATM so he could pay you for some ATM. -"Goofy little slore comes on this page for some attention you can't even hold a dick with those small hands. -You look like you are fucking trees." -"Pretty enough to be a teen mom, not pretty enough to make money on onlyfans though unfortunately." -Parents cant wait for her to move out and turn her dirty room into a entertainment room -you’ve got short hands and fat fingers but don’t worry about I am sure you’ll grow into them -Nose has strong Michael Jackson vibes -You look like you get fired on your day off. -The title says it all...how you please someone must be shortened for everyone's sake -Get your 14 yr old lookin ass on -Lol dem tits as flat as them arms and ass -"Does it ever bother you that if you make an OF, you're an OF Thot, and if you don't make an OF, you're a pick me good girl. Go ahead, keep flexing for the camera and finding ways to prove you're strong. You'll never know if it's true. Also, gaslighting isn't real, you made it up because you're crazy...." -Looks like Garfield found something he hates more than Mondays. -You look like you live with your parents and your bedroom smells like a seafood market. -When you try out for Teen Mom and get rejected -"I generally don't insult 10 year old girls who wear Garfield shirts, that's a form of child abuse" -You look like youre gonna fall in love with a grounder -I see three divorces in your future because you just can’t stop chasing the Chads of the world. -You think you are a rebel because your mom told you to clean your room and you covered your mattress with the blanket but didn't straighten the sheets. -Mfer I thought that was your leg going up behind your head !! Hahaha -Красивая :) -"You look like you grew up around horses, but your family had to keep selling them to the glue factory because they couldn't afford to feed them." -You look like you make false grape allegations. -Are those Glory Hole lips? -That selfie’s got the energy of someone who thinks running out of lip gloss is a crisis and calls herself 'unapologetically me' right before starting drama in a group chat. -"Is it just me, or is the right one smaller than the left?" -Big gross sloppy fat pussy .... Garfield -Why do you look so miserable? Did you get fucked in the ass? -Too pretty to roast. -"You’re one duck face away from pretending you didn’t take 50 shots to get it right, just to distract from the fact that push-up bras are your best friend." -I'm afraid of her. She looks like she is fantasizing about hurting puppies. -"Nah, you look like one of the millions of other Romanian girls. Nothing unique or special to roast." -You look like you stick pins into dolls of people -She got that football shaped head. -Oooooooh I'm telling your dad -Someone said you are being trafficked. I can guarantee there's no traffic. -I am absolutely shocked there’s no OnlyFans link associated to this account. -Only if her tits were as big as her face -"Like Garfield would say, nobody likes a Monday" -Como le haría un buen brrrr a la muchachita -No -Is that what you call a bicep? -The classic situation of a 3 1/2 who thinks that she’s at least a Midwest 8. -With brows like that you must be Eugene Levy's illegitimate daughter -Call the police right now!!! And file a missing person's report on your titties!! -She looks like an ironing board. 😂 -"Andrew Tate must of let you out your content ""producing"" room for few mins to stretch" -Kendall Jenner if she went bankrupt... -How long before they can fix the underbite? -Чё не так! -Why the looong face? Nay. Naaay! -Girl- why you trying to flex? The only thing you flexing is that tummy -Yikes. -Sharkira? -If you were any more inbred you'd be a sandwich! -How far through the transition process are you? -She actually isn’t too bad looking -Your brows are so bushy you would have mats in them -No age. Mods should delete. -Did not know until now i could smell someone’s body odor through the internet -Mediocrity crying out for attention in the hopes that all publicity is good publicity without understanding the importance of overall media outreach. Meh. -Okay 10head -Wash your face..your last 5$ job is still smeared on it -"So are you one of those '$5, me love long time' or more like $0.05?" -You look like you would vote for Trump -Uncles favtoire niece -I dont wana roast you. Can I date you instead?🥺 -Hope your deportation goes well -You definitely don’t swallow or take facials… -You look like the sad pepe frog meme used a human filter -tiny tits + devil horns hand sign + garfield t-shirt = lamest wet dream ever. -AI ah pictures -I'd hit it -What’s that mutton smell??? -I'll bet your stage name is A$$hole Lavigne. -Come back when you're 18. -You make me rethink the guidlines for jailbait -They way she got her back leg up behind her is crazy 🤪 -You have a midget head -You look like you were you had an exorcism before -Hey guys r/roast me (but really tell me how pretty I am) 🙄 -Hurry up and jump in bed cause mommy's at work and daddy just pulled into the driveway! -You look like the Russian lady from Ukraine that’s in the hot singles ads -America could have used that forehead on 9/11 to knock the planes out of the sky. -If only women came with a warning sign like these photos. -got a pig snout i see -Fucking smoke show. No roast needed -You're trying too hard -Why do you look like jenny Ortega if she was on crack for 15 years -You definitely require your boyfriend to have a six figure job while you have a zero figure job. -Your hair is so greasy if I lit it on fire I'd get arson charges. You think you're the main character.  You literally look like you bend over to get attention. It's really giving a pick me girl post smh -Is it just me or did Square Enix pull a BioWare Dragon Age Veilguard with Tifa? -"Bush, lots of bush." -"It’s seems the vowels are missing from that headline, just like your dad has been missing since you were 7." -Can’t think of anything -"Another ,OF wanna be,advert." -Trying to find a new daddy when yours ignored you the moment you were born :| -The woman in the girl power poster you redo here thinks you are crinch. -Eyes of a dead porn star -"It would be hard to miss that forehead, but I'm willing to try." -Nothing much there to roast. -Let’s be honest there’s only one roasting anyone wants to do and that’s spit -You got some meaty paws on ya… some would say strong hands. Seinfeld might say man hands. -"Really giving off Plainest of the Janes vibes with the middle-part, the non-descript face, and the wardrobe where the most interesting part of your entire personality is freaking Garfield." -"Never thought I would see the phrase ""don't stick your dick in crazy"" come alive, but here we go..." -"In response to your other post, fat hands." -Unsubscribe. -"Too hot to roast but if i have to, what’s up with those fat hands?" -Well i would but we are not in Salem and it's not the 17th century -Snapchat streaks have the same value as social credit to you -Some where some place is a boy who does not know his life is all ready ruined. -is your life that empty that you have to lower yourself this way to get some attention ??? -the eyebrow to hairline ratio wider than usa to china -Noooo did he break up with you*coughs*about time -You just look annoying. -You look like this chick I met in Philippines that turned out to be a lady boy.. -Air traffic control center this is bowing 747 flight 4 coming into a landing on you’re forehead -Eyebrows so wide they want to leave your face. -It’s a dude right? -Forehead so large she remembers what happens tomorrow -"Your the opposite of a manic pixie dream girl... -Depressive leprechaun insomniac boy." -"Which pic was your, ""oh, nevermind"" moment? For me it was pic 2." -And that's why they need a wall building -Definitely the type to say this post isn’t for attention despite it being true -What do yoiynoubr rhebreen -Stop asking for attention. Especially when under aged. -You have fat hands AND short fingers -Is roasting minors even allowed? -Is it politically incorrect to say she looks like Elliot Page with tits? -And on your left.. future single mother... -How to tell me you're from Russia/Eastern Europe without telling me -You look like you have a son named AAron -we must stay focused. -This is the girl from Arby’s? She’s had the meats! -You're a symptom of humanity's decline... Just another hottie fishing for complements -Haven’t I seen you on 90 day fiancé? -She gives head *before* the first date. -How tall are you without the forehead? -You flexing is like FOUSEY showing respect to others :) -You look like a young Barbara Hershey -"When your lips are bigger than your tits, you know somethings wrong" -You look like you play connect the dots with your arm moles -Your the type that your boyfriend made y’all buy a bunk bed so he don’t have to sleep with your annoying talkative ass hence the bunk bed in the picture -You look like a prototype feminist but somehow voted for Trump -Did pole dancing hook you up with that clothes rack in the background? -Greetings from Jamaica -You look like you put tomato ketchup on bread and call it a sandwich -"I would roast you, but I hear filters are highly flammable." -Your tinder profile says throat goat. But we all know that's a lie just looking at you -Id roast you to Christmas dinner to meet my parents hot enough for me -"When mom says ""We have McKayla Maroney at home""" -You look like a tuna sandwich -Smiles while she slits your cats throat because you missed a text message. -You’re built like a dildo with arms -"Every person thats approached by you all say ""sorry but i dont date men""" -"Daaaamn, you got some fat ass hands" -"If you were in Taken, Liam Neeson would shrug and go on with his life." -OP is going to be cast for generic THOT in the next high school school drama. -Cute -pouting like a million-dollar singer when she's an ordinary woman from Kansas -So when are you going to start writing that teen novel? -"You are going to be roasted so hard, your phoenix constellation on your arm is going to burst in flames and giving rise to a new era for your life. You will terrorize the world with your mischievous riches and wonders. You will now be know on social media as The roasted Phoenix. I will be your first follower. Please link it below after you are done creating it." -Your 4th picture I could use 😛 -Your phone must blow up about 30 minutes after the bars close -comment -That reminds me I still havent finished the walking dead -You look like you treat bipolar with weed and it isn't working. -"That's a very smart haircut. If my eyebrows looked like that, I'd want to hide them, too." -You look more like a line snorter -It's like Kelly Osborn and Billie Joe Armstrong had a baby that somehow survived the Plan B. -Fucking a cucumber doesn’t make you “vegan” -When you spend 30 mins creating a character for a game and get bored and quit halfway through -In this case NB stands for Non Bonkable. -Spencers Gifts in the mall thanks you for your 20 years of being a loyal customer -Look back on this in 20 years and cringe at yourself. Seriously. -Your therapist has to be loaded at this point. -If MySpace was a person -Making meth doesn’t make you a linecook -You can't call yourself NB just because your hands look like they belong on a 50 year old plumber named Fred -Facial accessoires are not a substitute for a personality -Even this photo has BO -Identifying as nb because literally every other line cook in existence actually gets laid -There's enough material in those eyes for a 3-day psychiatric conference. -You're not reaching your potential as a cook. You could make a lot more money scaring the fuck out of little kids at the carnival. -Rocking the turquoise crayola eyebrows…nice -You look like you're one weekend coke binge away from your nose being as wrecked as your asshole. -Tell me more about ur parents not being there for u -Every descriptor you used was completely unnecessary yet somehow left out that you're a cokehead. -"New generation of emo. However, to be politically correct, “s/hemo”. You’re welcome." -"You think you are special and unique, that there is nobody else like you in the world, which is of course against you. But here’s the thing: you are nothing, and you know it. There are so many just like you, but you are too arrogant and narcissistic to see the truth that all the problems you blame on everyone else, is in fact all your own making." -What could we ever say that would be more humiliating then what you did to yourself? -You look like your dad ficked a parrot -A lot of boogers in that fingernail -You look like the kinda girl who lives with Raccoons -Non binary vegan with blue hair... Shocking! -You probably make up stories about trauma to make yourself seem more interesting. -"Here’s a word of advice. If you actually become an interesting person on the inside, you won’t have to try so desperately to be different on the outside. -Good luck!" -"No need for the blue hair and eyebrows. Everything else about you screams ""I'm blue""" -"Funny, your knuckles don't look like they ever lost in a drunken brawl" -For someone who spends so much time on how they look; you sure do look like shit. -You're the perfect candidate for an amazing career at McDonald's - just enough piercings to qualify for drive-thru and they don't have to worry about you sneaking food in the kitchen. -It's always funny to see ppl try so hard to be different just to end up looking like everyone else who thinks their dad didn't love them. -Middle earth looking mfer -You forgot to add trans to your description -Wild. You look exactly how I pictured a nonbinary vegan line cook in my head. -"Any other trends you gonna follow? Vegan, loser, non binary?" -Still amazes me that people put in this much effort to look this bad -The only thing you know how to cook is black tar heroin -I bet most people regret starting conversations with you -"Whatever daddy did to you, sticking it in yourself is not helping." -"just a fuckin edge~~lord~~they by different names. anti-anything, amirite?" -You look like you serve drinks on an oil rig -You don't have to tell us your preferred pronouns... we get it. -"Title reads loser, loser, loser. And that’s before getting to the picture ☠️" -"Do you think your blue hair, trendy nose piercing, stating you are vegan and posting on this thread makes you any different than anyone else? Sadly you are a sheep, pathetically being hearded to another meaningless life of mediocrity and disappointment. Oh wait it is still early, disappointment will hit when you wake up with that hangover after you drank to escape it all." -Opposite of a rebel. Alt trendy as fuck. -"Just because you’re unattractive, doesn’t make you a different gender" -Your Uzumaki shirt is as interesting of a person you’ll ever aspire to be -Did you fell face first in a tackle box? -"Hotdog - -Down - -A - -Hallway" -You look like you have spirals in places you shouldn't have spirals... -"You are a description of Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times." -“I don’t have a healthy relationship with my parents” in one picture. -Congratulations on conforming to a group and being all stereotypes in one photo -My fellow line cook loser druggie vegan -It’s Bulimic Punk Rock Barbie! -Holy fuckin shit!!!!! -Feel like you are a character from the Flintstones -I wanted to participate but it Looks like life been hard enough on u already -Do you use Microsoft Paint to put your makeup on? -How many ribs have you removed? -"You look like your father left you at 3 years old. -Your earlobe is bigger than mt. Everest. And like a third graders keychains. -You’re covering your massive forehead pushed back to 1912 with your goofy ahh pick me blue hair. -You have more holes in your body than SpongeBob. -Your eyes look like you have been awake for 27 days on the Fortnite grind. -And what the hell happened to your knuckles?" -"Of course, vegans always fucking announce that they’re vegan. Like anyone gives a shit." -"Why did you have to notify us that you are a vegan? No wait, nevermind." -Non binary ehh…i know you hear this daily but can we keep this non sexual please -"you look like a character creator preset for a game that conservative chuds would accuse of ""being woke""" -It's not a phase mom! -It’s obvious who you voted for. -"If that's your life and you look like that, you've done all the roasting already. Hit the exit door and write your own eulogy. Nobody will be there to read it but maybe that'll be a comforting last thought for you" -"Oh well, you didn’t need to add “loser” in the title. It’s obvious." -Punched through a car window like John Kreese when the mini mart was all out of Baja Blast. -I can’t tell which way you transitioned. -Wtf is NB lmao 🤣 -(24 nb). aka 24 NoBody -U don’t have to say vegan and loser both it’s redundant -You make me relate to boomers. -"All that effort into looking unique and having a unique lifestyle. - -And you're just a generic vegan stereotype" -McDonald’s ≠ line cook -"Everything you've done to yourself has been a bad decision. You would do yourself (and everyone else) a favor if you literally did the opposite things in life. Eat meat, be a woman, take out all the horrid jewelry and get some sun. This is not a roast, it's a life advice. I really mean it." -Vegan idiot activist who sold his soul to make himself look different -You should have regretted the piercings and that fucking haircut -Girl or boy? -Pablo Picasso blue period -If rippin cigs inside was a person -"Just because your parents said they don't have a son or daughter doesn't make you NB. - -Oh and Eugene Levy wants his eyebrows back." -"At the speed Muslims are popping out babies, I can see this guy being thrown from a building before his 50th birthday." -"24 nb? Like, a 24 y/o nobody?" -You can still be vegan without having patches of grass planted across your forehead. -"NB means Not Breeding, right?" -You look like Ramona Flowers if she started smoking fentanyl. -Vegan but will absolutely go to town on a meat schlong. Being a line cook doesn't exactly pay well but sucking absolutely does. -You look like humanised orc -You look classic blue hair girl mixed with Chad face meme but something went wrong -Go back to your home planet -Being vegan is morally worse than eating meat. -"It's like your chin said ""nope, fuck that"" when you decided to go goth." -Your look is unoriginal and played out. I doubt that you’ve ever had an original thought behind those lifeless makeup cakes eyes. -You look like Xerxes with all that shit on your face. Do you have 300 line up for the train too? -Your jewellery looks dumb. -no bitches? -What a fucking disaster -"You don’t need a description, we could’ve guessed that" -"Everything about your outward appearance screams loudly. ""I HAVE A TOXIC PERSONALITY "" ." -Mental health issues are no joke -Your 24 and working as a line cook. You don't have to say your a loser -Did you use a paintbrush for those eyebrows? -NB… god you truly have set yourself up for failure. -"Okay, get a fake arrow trough the head gag. Paint it silver. Put it on so you can look even more ridiculous." -"I hit the character limit just listing all the stereotypes you fit. -I’ve always been fascinated that the part of the brain that’s damaged enough to be convinced that simply stating you are “non binary” makes you transcend human biology, is also the part of the brain that warns you that blue hair looks ridiculous." -Oh man. You… just fuck you. -Biggest roast here! Your a woman... -This one's too easy lads.... Move on -No need to say your a loser when you state your vegan -Daria -Look like Mo’s little sister -Feeling down try magnetek new patent pending industrial grade magnets to help with breathing problems -Don't want to light a flare without an incident. -Earring so wide an entire fleet of Star destroyers could fly right through it -"What do you prefer - *""to boldly go where no one has gone before""* or *""to boldly go where no man has gone before""*?" -You're more junji ito than your your shirt. -you have so many peircings bc no one will pierce your ass -What I like to know is where do you park your broom ? -"Genuine surprise at the lack of an only fans page or face tattoo, look like a bad dragon ruined every relationship you've ever had, I'm vegan and even I think you look like you could use some red meat, eat a steak and get some iron in your body" -You look like Sid Vicious and Carmela Soprano had a child and abandoned it. -Have you got vitiligo or are you just shit at doing your makeup? -24 nb. No boyfriend. Yea. I could’ve guessed that. -"Non-binary, huh? Congratulations on not just being a loser, but also being a loser across a spectrum." -ur username really suits u -Just gross -Claims she’s vegan but had more meat than a butchers shop -Why do you make it look like so much effort? -BALLS & CHEESE -Pass -You have a humiliation kink. -"Line cook because not even Ronald McDonald would let you anywhere near a customer. Speaking of clowns, it looks like you applied your eyebrows with a paint roller." -gay -NB stands for nerdy boy for those wondering -Why the fuck do you do that shit to your goddamn ears? -"Any legitimate roast of this dude would probably break the ""don't be evil"" rule." -Junji Ito would have never thought his art could one day be the least horrifying part of a picture -" 😳 -👉👈" -Blue jolly rancher -Would you like a wet wipe? -"Wow, you're doing everything you can to distract people from your face." -You remind me of frankenstein -Bugs are ground up in your vegan food. You eat meat...very tiny meat. -"Wow, you’re edgy. Great.." -You look like a orc -OMG!!!!....look how unique you are....it's not like you're wearing a uniform or anything.... -Everything in the title except your age is obvious -What gave you more trauma? Your stepdad or your job? -This is dude looks like an Orc from Lord of the Rings! -"There was really no need to tell us you were vegan, or a loser, and by line cook you mean crack yeah?" -"Always... Why the weirdos ALWAYS got these bare-finger butt crack itcher fingernails? Let me guess, they only have male and female nail clippers and ""universal"" ones just don't make you feel recognized for your ""unique"" persona, so ftw, let's walk around w grimy dingleberry diddling fingernails. Edgy" -Smart of you to put a saddle on that nose -Thanks for reminding me to hug my kid. -This is why you don’t get a Gender studies degree. -Junji Ito rolling over in his grave with those stupid man hands of yours -"You're a loser vegan line cook. BOOM, ROASTED!!" -NB? Ok -"Get this thing out of my sight, please!" -You didn't had to mention that you are a loser in 4 different ways -What the fuck are them eyebrows? -Why would a vegan frankenfack their face? -They finally made a remake of Hellraiser? -"Nonbinary, vegan, blue hair, and facial piercings? Save some attention for the rest of us!" -Is NB for near boy? -Following every modern progressive trend doesn’t give you a personality -bro looks like a goblin with those ears -"You don't regret that claymore shrapnel you voluntarily put in your face, so I don't think anything we say is gonna get through that thick skull of yours" -"Yea, your brain is messed up, worse than what u did to your face." -Do you work a 2nd job as a manager of the red flag store? -24 and still in that edgy teenager phase? Damn. -"You could have left it at ""make be regret this"" the rest is implied by your ""I dye my hair and punch holes in my face to help hide my crippling insecurity"" attitude. " -"Wow, you are a dark rebel. And so unique... just like all the others." -You left off “junkie” -"All of those descriptors were redundant, we could tell just by looking at the pic. Though you did forget to add failure and dying alone." -"You didn't have to write ""loser"". We know, trust me." -My daughter went for this look and then kinda outgrew it at 15. -"If you're not happy.. there's only one person that can change that -...YOU..." -There’s this new invention you need to try. It’s called a mirror. Go look at one. -You roasted yourself with life it seems. Nothing left for us to do or say. I just see family trauma in this photo. -"Dang, all of you ""daddy.issue"" girls look so much alike, didn't you get enough the last time? -Coming back for seconds like your drunk Uncle on summer break." -You look like a Skyrim NPC that would report someone to the imperials for misgendering them. -You look like what gas station pussy would smell like -How do you dye your hair blue and still looks completely void of any colour in your life -You look like Spock's illegitimate child with some Klingon ho that turned out to be super clingy -I’m sorry your dad wasn’t around -You look like you peaked in kindergarten -"You know those mornings you look in the mirror and decide today’s the day you stop being a blue haired d bag with a spike in ur eyes and a desperation chain in ur nose… then the cold dark truth hits you that every chance you ever had of accepting urself died the day u were clueless enough to look a cashier in the face and say “yes, I want to buy that lava lamp”… that’s today… asshat" -Ewww. -"You must be mentally broken to pierce yourself like that, I can't think about different reason" -"You have a vibe of a nerdy boring basic girl who decided that she's tired of not being seen anymore and tried to put on an alt look to seem more interesting, but it's not working" -"I’m curious how many sex acts it will take to pay for your eyebrow laser removal? - -NGL that nose bridge tat is smoking." -are those holes in your ears representative of the gaps left on your soul from your dad leaving? -You didn't have to put NB in the title. Your hair already told us you are nonbinary. -A walking buffet line of trauma and disorders -Sigh -"How can you be a line cook and a vegan? - -Chefs shouldn't have diet restrictions. How can you send good food out when all you eat is rabbit food? As a chef a vegan is my most hated customer. - -Arrogant think their something special and you have to basically deep clean your entire kitchen just to cook for that 1 person" -"No idea is a bad idea the home of the brave good consultation mindset is key exploring is inevitable says the P -H. D M. D" -U like the prop I make at 3 am -"You could be hot, if you gave up the metal, the vegan, the loser, got some nice clothes, did your hair, got a job........." -Looks like you fell face first into my tackle box. -"i would roast you, but metal isn't good for my oven" -"Vegan line cook? No wonder you look terminally ill. -Yeesh." -Vegan... Yet you pierce yourself like livestock. -NB = a girl who can't attract guys and wants to feel special for it. -I'm sure your personality goes WAY DEEPER than your piercings and neat hair color -I bet your dad regrets you -Yeah you didn’t need to include “loser” in the title. We all have eyes. -"Groucho Marx called and wants his eyebrows back. -I like the gauge earring, makes a good handle to keep you in place while you rim me. But that nose thing might poke my taint. Linecook? Guess your lesbo sugga mamma ain't all dat.ohhh geezzz I am so sorry... NB... didn't see that. So, neither side wants you ? There's always the fleshlight." -I thought I was the only one who hadn’t slept for an entire month -you look like a vegan -"Op thinks self to be special because non binary. Op doesn't realize that if you are binary or non binary, that just becomes another binary to be a part of. Op is still binary. Tldr: op's mom should have swallowed." -"Wasn't getting enough attention from the blue hair so you had to add/subtract a few pronouns to try to stand out from the rest of the upper midde class kids with no real problems that tailgate others real issues to try and give their worthless existence some form of substance while fishing for pity. In case you're wondering, no, it's not working-- now people just hate you more than they would have before the shitty haircut, and your parents likely do too." -You look like everything wrong with Gen Z -This looks like the least of your poor decisions -Which of your stepfathers *HASNT* touched you? -Someone tell pains little sister that Naruto is looking for her -What is the point of nonbinary it’s so fucking stupid -"The Patriarchy called, they'd like fries with that" -I'm sorry your dad didn't love you. -You are fine you need a couple men to Split Roast you! -Non-binary? LOL! There is NOTHING masculine about you! -you’re a girl -I wouldn't pull out just to make your life worse -I just roasted a line cook that had gauges. She has 2 baby daddies! So you have that to look forward to👍 -"It’s a vegan, but still gobble up cock meat!" -"OP had the chain on her nose installed bc the bull ring she had before accidentally got torn out after being hand- led on a string by the neo leftist woke crowd too many times. - -On a real level though, Op would probably actually be very pretty if she stopped drilling holes in her face, shaving off and repainting back on clown eyebrows, and generally dressing like a homeless man." -grunge emo? -You look like a she/her -your earlobes can be used as key ring lmao -You look like a cyberpunk elf with an eating disorder -Even Cyberpunk Edgerunners doesn’t have this character -"24....? -Twenty Four!? - -With the attention to self image of a 16yr old.." -How did you get out of your pokeball on your own -I would roast you but honestly your life seems to suck enough as it is with you just being a vegan 😂 -comment -"You won't get validation online, even if you post the same damn angle another 20 times" -You were hideous in the first pic. I didn’t need 3 more exactly like it. -You were 31 in 2004 maybe -"Jesus, is that your good side?" -Tuesday Adams trying to whistle. -Your face looks about as smooth as a Louisiana highway. -"17 individual posts that are just a closeup of your tongue. - -Whatever fetish you're catering to is weird." -I didn’t know Edward James Olmos was doing drag now. -You better have a good ass. -Guys don’t be so mean to someone who obviously survived a meth lab explosion. -Guys where's the alarm we sound when someone lies about being 31? 🤷‍♂️ -It looks like your face caught on fire and someone stomped it out it a football cleat. -I see your eyebrows have already fallen off before anyone got to the roasting -You look like you are an undefeated bobbing for fried chicken champion. -I thought dragonscale was eradicated in Westeros years ago? -Looks like you got hit with a bag of hot nickels. -Face backne -You are a textbook butterface -Lips like a dogs arsehole -You look like a decorative autumn squash. -Your face looks like a place to hang a picture. -I’d hate to see the “bad” side. -You cropped the forehead in every pic. There’s got to be more to this story. What are you hiding up there? -Duck face and crater face together? Life has already roasted you enough. -Black & Decker can help with your complexion -A face for radio -Do you not know how to put your lips into other positions? -"Quick, someone shine the bat signal, two face is on the loose." -No amount of makeup can cover up whatever that is on your cheek…also makes me wonder how awful the other side of your face is since you refuse to show it. -You look Fifty-Twelve -Pay more attention to the actual videos and not just the text on those make-up tutorials. Maybe then you'd know not to use a kitchen sponge for your foundation.  -Ray Liotta with tits -“Kiss from a rose” face ass -31 years old?! 😬😬 I legit would have guessed a minimum of 45...sorry. -Your own ass is trying to run away from you. -What's to roast? Someone's already tried holding your face down on a barbecue grill -You might want to stay away from fires you look like a marshmallow over a flame -My god. The acne craters. It looks like you went to wish upon a star and then it landed on your face -"“Take me to the moon” - -No need. Now that I’ve seen your face, I’ve been there" -"If a blind person puts their hands on your cheek, they will read a sentence." -"Face stuck like that from sucking tiny peens - -Too much makeup trying to cover the craters, still not enough makeup to cover the 5 o'clock shadow" -Can you still get a boner? -Your tears must need a wrangler to slide down your face -The holes in your face trigger my Trypophobia -Looks like those first few pics sums up your personality -Fuckin’ Edward James “Allmost” in they/them presentation mode. -What the fuck bro -I wonder what your face says in braille? -This a dude. -"What if I used the same picture for roast me *and* for my lawsuit against my dermatologist. - -Yeah that's going to save me time and effort. Just make sure I get enough pictures of that side of my face." -I didn’t think we had photos of the Dark Side of the Moon -Pics 1-4 are like phases of the moon. -Acne + duck face = meth addict that doesn’t suck dick good enough for proactive. -The KANKLES -I cropped this picture and posted it on /r/moon -Pics should be rated NSFW -"You probably can't take a normal picture, without making duck face! " -Looks like those pit marks on your face are already roasting you pretty good. -what am I suppose to do with the same 3 pics? Play hop scotch on ur dimples? -How bad is the other side of your corduroy face? -How are you going to ask us to roast you when you posted the same shitty picture 6 times? -Did you get bitch slapped with a cheese grater? -"Imagine making the same face IN EACH PHOTO. - -At least you beat your cheek with a tenderizing mallet to make the roasting even easier" -That face you make when your card declines at the abortion clinic. -Wouldn't touch you with my granpa's dick -Your make up makes you look like you have jaundice…are you ok? -Topographical map of your cheek would look like a rainbow -Fuck. Is your face just stuck like a fish? That would explain the scales... -Lewis and Clark would have never made to California if they had to go through the terrain on your face -It's scary AF when you crawl out of the TV set in those movies... -Your skins like bubble wrap after you popped all the bubbles -"I bet you have an only fans with pictures of your tongue, based off the 50 pictures of your tongue in your post history" -"Always one side AND always duck lips? I’m kinda scared ngl, not even trying to roast" -Female? With those man hands that will manhandle??? -The opposite of Viagra. -"After looking at your face, I can confirm that the moon landing was indeed fake." -You look like the aliens that drink coffee from men in black -Meet Elephant Woman. -Looks like a Xenomorph visited your face -"Stop rimming as a hobby, both your tongue and cheeks are paying for it!!" -Why am I getting slender woman vibes? -"You haven't been roasted, you've been deep-fried." -Oh God is your face stuck like that -"Ah, the ol' three bagger. One for her, one for you - in case hers falls off, and one for the door - in case anyone walks in on you." -If you zoom in you can actually see a little lunar rover on her cheek -"If you wouldn't look like a duck with constipation people might look at you without being ""Ew""" -Thank god your tongue pictures didn’t show the rest of your face. -Roast a picture of the moon? I don't get it. -I'd rather fuck Freddie Krueger -"I swear it was ok to upload only one picture, maybe the last one where you are far away....or even better none at all." -Begging you to find another pose -What in the smallpox scarring is going on with your face? -you make the same face in every picture.... -Trans Gollum. Also bad skin -"Show us your ""we do recover"" tattoo" -please label this NSFW for crying out loud. -Your cracked tongue somehow looks better than your face -"Why are you making the same face in all of the pics? Is that your ""hot"" face, because it's absolutely not hot. - -But at least you got the body of a crackhead who's had three kids with different men who disappeared once they sobered up." -"You only seem to make one-face. Like, it's okay to not have a preset face!" -You have a satellite image of Gaza for a face. -I thought I ordered pepperoni on that pizza face -The moon is jealous of all the craters you got on your face vs what it has... -Looking like a mannequin left out in the Florida sun. Did a girl from Kansas throw water on your face? -Hey she can start a wonderful modeling job being the after pic on the meth poster -"Makeup isn’t working for you, maybe see a plastic surgeon" -Six cameras broke taking these pictures. -"Fell off the repugnant tree, hit all the branches, went through the ground and started eating the roots of said tree. Ew… why? Just why would you do this?" -Your face is already roasted and overcooked. -Is that chlamydia on your cheek? -One arm looks bigger than the other its Like in that King of Queens Episode where they received a painting as a präsent. -Let's just say you have no career in political cover-up -We can't top what the fire did to you -I don’t need to roast you the mirror does that -31 going on old lady at the dry cleaners -Your face looks like someone tried to put out a camp fire with a screwdriver. -Is that a picture of your cheek or close-up of the surface of the moon? Neil Armstrong. He’s gonna leave a footprint right on your cheekbone. -Doesn't date anymore. Her last one oredred a Grilled Face. -"Based on your cheek, you've already been burnt. No need for a roast." -I've seen dirt roads that look smoother than your face -Midgets could mountain climb in the pot marks on your face -Dr Finkelstein looking ass -Needs about 2 more pounds of make up on that one side and I’m sure you will be beautiful to somebody -Looks like someone set your face on fire and put it out with a fork. -More craters on that face than the moon -you look like the knock of version of gypsy rose and that’s sayin somethin -Elf with a genetic defect -Planet of the Apes -Your skin looks worse than the battlefield of Verdun. -Beautiful looking lady -I promise you that caked on make up isn't making your acne scars any less awful -Show them your tongue! -"Is this what you wanted, OP? Have you had enough? How does this make you feel? Just curious" -"freddy krueger called, he wants his skin back" -Just embrace the pimple scars. That much makeup cannot be good for your skin. -Man has landed on the moon! -Even China couldn't land a moon lander on that face. Too many craters. -"You look like your face caught on fire at a baseball game, and the players stomped it out" -Face like a water logged golf ball -You have the same complexion as the moon. -Hansel and Gretel are eating your house -How do you get the “stamped concrete” look? -Edward James Oh No! -Edward James Almost -When did Edward James Olmos transition? -"They filmed the moon landing on your face, didnt they ?" -She has infinite dimples glitch -What da fuck is bdd -A little spackling will help fill in those pits... or maybe a lot of spackling... -Looks like you bob for French fries in the deep fryer -What craters have NASA landed on? -Your face reminds me of the average road in Wisconsin. -Hey good side looks like the worst of Verdun -Is your name Moon? Because those are some serious craters on your face. -Bag lady vibes engaged. -Thought this was a rover image of the mars surface at first glance -The moon has less craters -Looks like a dehydrated spongebob squarepants fucked edna mode on a crack binge -Neil Armstrong says hello. -"Do you only have one expression, or is your face paralyzed?" -https://tenor.com/bVxeN.gif -It looks like your grater is covered in makeup. -"The make up isn’t working for you.  - -You’d need wood filler to hide those craters god damn! " -"Are you melting? You look like you are standing too close to an open fire and your face is starting to give way, like the wax museum movies." -Cheek looks like asphalt. I thought road head was something different. -I think you face is permanently frozen like that -Gross… -"Ma’am to roast you like you’ve never been roasted before, we would have to physically cook the rest of your face." -"Your cheeks look like cheese melted to a hot griddle. - -The good thing is that they say ""I'm ugly"" in Braille, so blind people are made aware." -"Gillette, DSC, Harry's makes great razors. Stop shaving with a clam shell." -We know where they faked the moon landing now -Terrify -A face and a cheese grater together! I’ve seen everything now -The moon landing was filmed on you acne scars and it shows -That shattering sound you hear is your mirror committing suicide -Nice cock -Holy shit! It’s Edward James Olmos! -"If that’s your best angles and your “good side”, then what kind of horrors are you trying to hide from the camera? For the love of God, your are a double bagger as it is. A “double bagger” is one bag over your head and one over my head in case yours falls off 🤢 🤮" -Face like a cabbage that's been kicked against a pebble dashed wall. -Looks like your friends feed you rock candy with a sling shot. One of them has bad aim. -"Whenever some horny redditor flirts with a girl on here, they picture some hot single chick...this girl is what she actually looks like" -WTF is that -F? -Are your lips broken? -"You know how your parents said ""Don't make that face or it will stay like that""" -Morticia Addams if she was ordered off Temu. -Joni Mitchell and Rita Pearlman got *down* with a monkey in the 60s and 40 years later you popped out -I feel sorry for those lips... -It's called foundation... Not crater fill. -Is that her face or just a close up of a moon landing? -"I'd roast you, but by the looks of that skin I'd say I'm too late." -Are you a burn victim? -This is the one time I'm envious of Ray Charles. -Truth of fact: The USA never landed on the moon- it was actually just the side of this chick's face. -Makeup cant hide the nuke crater -What's your nickname? Crater Face? -You’ve got more craters than mars. -"Honestly, you aren't that bad." -You look 40. -"I really can't roast you harder than life already has, sorry." -Shouldn’t take long to Roast. Your face is already mallet-tenderized. -I highly doubt you’ve never been roasted before -I bet you apply your makeup with a putty knife. -Go to Old Town and have Samwell Tarley to pick that grayscale off your face. -"I guess I don’t understand why people seek this. Even seeking bad comments is a kind of vanity, imho. You look perfectly fine. Instead of seeking negative comments about your appearance why not just touch grass and meet people." -Wow! First time on this page - very brutal. Why would you want to set yourself up for so much abuse? Damn! Life is hard enough… -The table from Scarface had less bumps than your face -Zoom into your face and it would look like a scene from the Martian. -"Duck face: X -Howler monkey face: 👍" -I’ve seen better skin on a ballsack -Don't want to roast you -Did they fake the moon landing on your face? -Is your face stuck like that -Did Neil Armstrong land on your face? Cause that shit has more craters than the moon -Your face looks like a topographical map of the Andes Mountains -"Omg ok so I officially can’t do this to people… i know it’s a roast and that it’s the whole point but fuck.. some people just be straight up meannnnnn!!!! How do you take this OP?! lol I can’t wrap my head around this… like, the shit that gets said in this sub, I could never EVER do it! So hats off to you OP for having the confidence to do this cuz I sure af don’t and won’t dish it out either. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I guess I’m just too much of a softie .. suppose I stumbled into a sub I can’t hang with lol" -Yoko Nono -Did your paint chip -One side looks like you were a goalie in a dart league -“If you keep making that face it’ll get stuck like that.” Guess you didn’t take the warning…. -I've never wanted to play connect the dots so badly. -"Roast you? By the looks of your potted cheeks, I’d say someone already tried to tenderize you." -Could prolly fake a moon landing with that cheek. -Left side looks like a topographical map of the Rocky Mountains. I can only guess that the right side looks like Two Face on a bad day. -" -Looks like you got hit in the face with a bag of marbles." -"If that's your better angle, I don't even wanna see the other" -"7 pics of the same thing, and a implied baby bump? What am I missing here? 😂" -I see you tried to warm up for this roast by putting your cheek on a grill beforehand. -"Maybe lay off the drugs, your skin looks ruined." -Why. That. Face. please post a reg pic with smile/teeth so we can really roast you like you’ve never been before… -Stop using a cheese grater as a facial treatment -"I would, but from the looks of your skin, that already happened." -The moon has never looked better. -Cannot take duck lips seriously. Get the fuck out of my feed with that shit. -"I know this is supposed to be a roast, but I feel like I need to seriously help you, girl to girl. Please quit posting the exact same picture over and over and over again." -An average teenager has less pits on his face than you. -I smell tuna fish -Acne + duckface 💀 Ohh hell naaa -I’m guessing the teeth have holes like your face does -I’ve seen better heads on boils. -"I'm mid-30, but you look like my mom. - - -And wtf is up with all the tongue pics in your history??" -You look like a background character in an underfunded anime. -"If that's your good side, I can't imagine the bad" -Duck face? All it does is bring out the terrible acne you tried to hide under those geological-sized layers of makeup. -Post op Dobbie the house elf. -Bowl of dried oatmeal. -Bet she can't take a joke. -"If I wore 3D glasses, I could imagine landing on the moon just by staring at your face." -I can sense a huge forehead by the way all pics are cropped -Is that acne or scars from dodging the coat hanger for 9 months? -Did your face freeze? Wtf. -Thought I was on r/moon for a sec -Nigga escaped area 51 -"at least you cover yourself up, thanks god, noone want to see your cleavage" -"I know she's got craters and I know she's doing duck face in every picture, but is anyone going to talk about how she looks like a man in drag?" -That nose. My god. -Is deep fried face only thing that defines you ? -Guys sleep with you to save shaving expenses as they can rub your cheeks all over their body to get full body hair removal. -Id hate to see the other side of that face -Why are you whistling on every photo? -"*>like I’ve never been before* - -I believe it." -Your cheeks look like they’ve already been heavily roasted -The resting duck face is enough in itself.. -this must be how they faked the moon landing -Stop making that face -Do your eyebrows not exist or are they hidden under your foundation? -Is your face stuck like that -That dress is so tight that it squished cellulite up to your face. -Two failed relationships away from transgender -It looks like someone set your face on fire and put it out with an ice pick. -Do you use foundation or wall plaster for those dents? -Your body is ok. It’s your face that is completely fucked. -Roast you? Looks like the acne already did! -Face topography says cake the face so we can hide the craters -I don't think it's appropriate to roast house fire survivors. -Did you wash your face with sandpaper? -comment -Wii Fit and masturbation doesn't count as working out 😒 -Are you that weird guy from the NFL Memes Facebook page that has pepperoni nipples and kept getting banned? Honest question -Sugar Gay -Who’s gonna tell this guy he’s not 23 anymore -Jesus Christ aren’t you the Facebook group guy? -"God damnit Felipe, how are you everywhere??" -"all those Pokémon tattoos, and you’re still waiting for someone to say “i choose you”" -Male prostitution at motel 6 doesn't count as gym time. -"Based on the Sling Blade expression, you also like varnishing in unventilated areas." -"Don't sell yourself short by just saying that you love video games and working out, don't forget your obvious love of sketchy tattoos and bad haircuts." -Sham wow guy is only 31????? -Lead singer of crazy town came back to life -How the fuck do you always find where I am!?! I'm convinced this dude is literally everywhere at once -I bet you get excited when you find a hair in your food. -Non-Binary Slingblade -31 going on 55…keep hitting the pipe dude! -Poster-child of skipping leg day. -I’m pretty sure this is the old Dolphin fan guy… am I right?! -I seen you on r/shittytattoos btw -I don’t think I’ve ever hated a haircut more than this one -I bet you have a shitty tribal tattoo -You have more battery charges than a Tesla dealership. -YOU RANG??!! -That combover isn't fooling anyone. -You are why we teach kids about stranger danger. -Bro looks like everything wrong with men from the last 3 decades -What in the 90s oh look it's Green Day meth is going on. Your shorts look wrinkled and so does your face 🌝 -"Kinda look like a GTA character, rendered for PS1" -He loves everything but minoxidil -You look like what the Offspring sound like -And meth. You forgot to mention meth. -"Aaron carter but jerking off and weed instead of duster and Xanax, equally disappointing to their parents" -I didn't know the Sham Wow/Slap Chop guy had tattoos. -I can tell you never skip forehead day at the gym. -"From the look on your face, i’m going to guess your family tree is light on forks. - -Be honest: what relationship exists between your mother and father? Be specific." -"You’re the type of guy to post on every single Facebook group, then every Twitter thread, then every subreddit. - -Go away Felipe. You’re the Ryan Tannehill of people. Phins down" -"Loves video games, working out and spending hours trying to get what little hair he has left on top to cover the whole front half of his head." -"You may live in West Palm Beach, but honey that hairline is in Reseda." -You look like Trevor’s bastard son from GTA V -"This dipshit used to post way too much in pcmaster on fb back in the day, to the point they either started a new one or blocked him. Can't believe I have to see his stupid face one more time" -Sorry dog no amount of working out is fixing that face -U also love meth and beastiality -100% you buy feet pics -Seeing your extra chromosomed self in my Facebook groups is nightmare fuel -Not a roast but is there anyway to get rid of this internet cockroach? -Are those your legs or are you riding a chicken?? Don't skip leg day broseph. -Man you have already lost your hair please stop fighting -"Vanilla Ice, incel edition" -Handsome squidward but from temu -It’s the sham wow guy that sucks at sales -You most really love your hair too. You’re holding on to that shit for dear life’s -Nothing I could say would roast you more than life roasted you already -"I cannot even think of something funny. - -Literally those tattoos and hairstyle would make any adult not take you seriously." -How long you been 31? -Working out how you're gonna afford the next rock? -The loser that shows up to college parties uninvited -Only thing that looks like it works out is your jaw. I bet I can guess your favorite exercise based on the bleached part of what’s left of your hair -You misspelled douchebag -Can you stop playing pocket pool for like 5 seconds to get your picture taken? -And this is what happened to sick boy after the end of Trainspotting -1000 yard stare and not allowed within 1000 yards of a school zone.. -It's nice of your parents to let you live on the patio. -You're desperately grasping back at your 20s harder than that bleached blond combover is grasping at your forehead. -You work out? You sprained your wrist trying to staple 3 pieces of paper together with a stapler. -Uses kirby and boo tattoos for starting conversations with/luring children. Uses GTA tattoos for starting conversations with/luring teens. -Never did a lateral raise in his life except to drop jizz napkins in the trash bin of grandma's garage -Dolphins fan here -If the YouTuber Dream did meth -Never skip face day -Sugar Gay -Being worked out and working out are different. -Loves working out his boyfriends spunk😮 -Do nada o Felipe Gringo kkkkkkk -You forget to mention jerking off -"I hope you love who ever gave you that haircut. Because Damn that shit is ugly. Oh, and you work out bro? Hard to tell." -Bro's hair is struggling for dear life -Is the white combover there to distract people from the cumstained clothes? -Great value mark McGrath -Ice ice maybe. -I remember this guy on Facebook! NFL memes -You look like a gayer version of Trevor from GTA v -"2000s KFC just popped out the time machine, they want their grilled chicken legs back." -"From your tattoos, your ear piercing, your dye job, your “all the girls wanna blow me” stance with your silly little hand in your pocket, I know what you are! Absolutely fucking insufferable!" -"When you’re subscribed to 4 dating apps, pray to feminism twice a day and still get no pussy whatsoever" -You should work out going to a better hairdresser. 💪. -He's two years younger than me but looks 7 years older -The 90’s called and want their frosted ends back right NOW ! -I bet your favourite game is Red neck redemption 2 -That San Andreas tattoo says it all bum -Nice tattoos but who invited fiver Trevor Philips -You look like you go near high schools a lot -" Love filming gay porn on the porch too… (not judging, it’s, umm, the light that gave it away)." -Sick shoulder tat. I take it Grand Theft Auto is the only place women will talk to you? -Bro aaa look like Trevor off of GTA -The Hattiesburg jaw -Gen Z Tiger King Trailer Trash -Bro skips everything but arm day -This guy looks how The Offspring sounds. -You look like a Canadian bank robber who saw the news one night confirming your long dead best friend is alive which led you to discover your other long time best friend who you thought was in jail was actually buried in your first friend's place -"At first, I was getting a real Trevor vibe, but it may be more Floyd, tbh... good luck with Debra.. oh nvm." -This fucking guy. I have you blocked on Facebook because I was sick of seeing selfies of you in a Dolphin hat. -You look like Billy bob thorton in sling blade if he somehow got ahold of a tattoo gun and started watching hentai -I loved you In The hills have eyes -"First Facebook now reddit, I can't escape Felipe" -We totally can't tell you're balding. That combover is fooling everyone. -It looks like you're working one out right now... -And bad haircuts -"I reckon you’ll have some mustard with yer biscuits, mmmhmmmm." -It looks like someone pulled really hard on your scalp and now your hair looks like a doormat or something a quirky goth kid would wear -First pick to be taken against a broccoli tree -You pee in the shower -Bro looks like when I hit randomise on my GTA 3 character -Frankenberry lives! -Your hair is definitely working out of your scalp -We gotta stop these damn Hobbits from leaving the shire. -I love video games and working out and receding my hairline. -"Video games and working out are the classic "" I use to get high as fuck hobbies """ -"When you go back to prison, don't forget to hold on to somebody's pants pocket so you can be protected." -You look like the love child of Walton Goggins and Karl Childers. Mmmhmmm -You may be the most basic bitch on Reddit. -"Go back to your ""father"" Dr. Frankenstein and tell him the bleached toupee is *not* disguising that square cranium ! He managed to fix your old neck bolt attachments to a sleeker design, surely he can come up with better ""hair""." -I’d have a receding hairline too if I exclusively used forehead grease as pomade -"Just like the last dude, how do you manage to be three years younger than me, but look about ten years older?" -"I think he likes the idea of working out, not seeing workout results" -You look like the reason why Steven Ogg hates Trevor the character. -Ain’t no hiding that bald spot. Not even a good attempt either. -"Are you a son of Vanilla Ice? - -Probably not daddy's best sperm, so he called you Vanilla Water." -I thought the dude from Crazy Town was dead? -"Me, if my inner child was still my outer child..." -Jerking off isn’t a work out buddy -Not this Facebook Group guy again... -Hiding that hairline with half a jar of hair gel a day must be expensive -You don’t like working out. You like a glass pipe and a telescope for watching everything around you when you’re paranoid. -"You gotta be a lefty, cuz left arm kinda jacked, right arm on crack" -"Loves working out and gaming, but that look is still stuck in beginner mode." -And meth. -Don’t forget not having a hairline -You also fondle your scrot the way that I do. Except my hand is in my pants. -How is it living as a githyanki on Earth? -Why do I see you and expect Chris Hansen is hiding somewhere nearby? -Weren’t u a loser dolfins fan making a joke of yourself previously? On sports pages lol -"Equal parts Matt Dillon, Vanilla Ice, and HGH" -"You look like the queer dollar store version of Seth Binzer. - -“CUM MY DADDY, CUM MY DADDY! SUGGA DADDAYYY!”" -Clearly your hairline is the next boss battle you have ahead of you. You'll lose -The only game he's playing is pocket pool. -I also do shrooms on the side -Temu Gollem -That shit haircut doesn’t hide that your balding from anyone 😂 -Which of those tats do you jerk off to the most? -And touching yourself obviously🙄 -AFS all grown up ♥️ -You also look like somebody who steals catalytic converters -This guy loves this shit. We should all say something nice about him instead! -"just shave yr head already, it’s over." -"Jesus christ, you took chin-ups to a whole new level." -"Mate, let it go. It doesn't matter how aggressively you brush your hair forward, that hairline is fucked." -31? When? -"Your tattoos are Pokémon and Grand Theft Auto based. - -Video games and cartoons… - -Dude, you have roasted yourself." -Alex Honnold’s next free climb is on that flat face of yours. -You’re balding. Just shave it -It is time to let that hair go... It is over -The dolphins suck -The tattoos on your left arm/shoulder say enough about your poor life choices. -If tony Ferguson was bi curious and let his amateur tattoo artist friend tarnish him. -You’re the guy from r/shittytattoos with the GTA girls! Now it makes sense 😂 -Somebody call the cops before Shifty Shellshock figures out how to break in that house. -There’s no way you don’t love drugs -We have gigachad at home -You’re like if Lord Farquaad was into boy bands -Maybe you should workout -You took up working out because gaming makes you feel lazy -"Still haven’t been able to get rid of the cold sores, I see." -Look like a big ass midget -Virtual reality porn counts as gaming now? -Trevor? -"""Working out"" of his grandma's basement." -The walking embodiment of a UTI - Been years since I last saw Maxx Headrom!! -"You look like you love ""them French fried potaters""" -"Give off strong ""that relative that you don't let your teenaged girls around alone"" vibes." -"Dude I swear to go this is that weird dude that was always posting on Facebook YEARS ago on the cowboys football page? Or Miami dolphins, fucking weird ass dude. That's hilarious he's on here" -Eats bananas for the shape -Pocket pool bro? Where is the tattoo for that game? -Looks like he fucks dolphins and calls himself a football fan -"31, I love video games, working out (with my shake weight and Fleshlight), bad tattoos and bleaching my hair so I look like any one of those twinks from a band in the 90s." -And I thought Trump had a bad combover. -This is what I would look like if my personality stopped developing when I turned 12 -The Dolphins pay you not to be a fan -When your heroin dealer is your tattoo artist and your Barber -If Eminem and Vanilla Ice had a baby -Hell yeah Felipe is my dawg -Come on man. Why did you come here. Don’t you get enough of this on the street -He cant even pose with out touching himself. It must be a young boy taking that picture. -Pete Davidson looking ahh -you try to hide your **MASSIVE** forhead with your hair and its failing -You look like you worship at the Church of Kid Rock. -And watching kids at the park -"🎶 I don't wanna grow up, -I got a big fuckin' chin 🎶" -What does your hair look like combed back? -those are mutually exclusive. must be a bot -And shitty tattoos -"Hates a good haircut and sleeves. -(also, when it comes to working out, “love” is a stretch)" -"Apparently, you also do your own tattoos." -Serious hairline denial going on here -If Beavis and Butthead had a baby... -comment -Tinker Smell -You absolutely treat people like shit then blame it on Mercury being in retrograde. -Your litter box smells better then your actual box. -This qualifies as a scratch and snift picture -"You exclusively date ecstasy dealers who don’t wear shirts to music festivals. You sleep in a different tent every night. You think you’re a hippy, but hippies don’t do ketamine. Your parents have kept your room exactly like it was, Beatles posters and all." -You can smell the cat piss and BO from these photos -Bet your hair smells worse than your kombucha farts -"you look like you run an Etsy shop that sells dreamcatchers but you tell everyone you telework. -and i’ll be honest, you kinda look like you’d say, “i don’t need shoes, the earth is my sole.” -i can also tell that you never shut tf up about the moon. -you also like to tell people you were born in the wrong century but couldn’t go an hour without Wi-Fi" -"Please, just go shower already." -"I had a fetish for ginger with long hair. - -You cured me" -"How the hell does a medical lab get ADHD? I mean, who could even diagnose a building like that?" -Doing drugs at E-forest is not “working in a medical lab” -"A fairy sprinkling ""fairy dust"" of lice, fleas, and mites." -"Wait wait I can do an impression of you. ""Dad, can I borrow some money?""" -You mean high on every illegal substance -The kinda lady that would let you rip ketamine off her ass -You look like you get passed around at the campfire -You probably smell like a Patchouli oil stand at a fish market -I think you mean a meth lab -I can smell the cat piss in that hair from here. -You just know if you tossed her a package of Dove soap she'd hiss at you. -"Oh look, an STD with feet." -Police overdose when they touch the fairy dust in your cigarette pack -I would bet anything that you smell like low tide. -Meth fairy -Your therapist dreads seeing you -"Wild prediction: Start saving money, you gonna need lots and lots of cat food throughout your life." -"White woman with dreads, I know they light incense in every room you walk in but you’re so self centered that you think it’s flattering. You look like you gentrify black neighborhoods just to replace them with “Black Lives Matter” signs" -Do you take shower’s or bath’s? It’s where you use soap to clean yourself. -I think the worst part of this post is that she thinks she’s unique -Fuck I can smell the patchouli and pussy from here -Having hair that belongs in a lab doesn’t make you a lab tech. -"I feel like everytime you speak, the people around you have to fight the brutal urge to just yell ""I don't fucking care.""" -"People tolerate you, but they all think you're supremely bland for someone who tries this hard to be unique. - -34... Grow up." -Where ADHD stands for Anus Destroyed by Huge Dicks. -"I can smell you through the phone - -—Soulja boii" -Do mushrooms grow in a circle around your ass? -This is the epitome of I can smell you through the screen -Moldilocks -I think ADD is the least of your problems -You should rub some fresh dog shit in your hair so it smells better -Do they have cages and a hamster wheel large enough for you in the lab? -"What hurts more, your birth parents always introducing you as their “adopted” daughter, or the fact that the angel dust you do doesn’t actually turn you into a fairy?" -"Your ex-boyfriend's ""job"" was busking with a didjeridu and you dumped him for a 50 year old guy who used to follow the Dead." -"If you don’t live in your moms basement, love to go to festivals when possible, and make less than 50k I’ll eat the entire contents of that litter box u keep in the same room u sleep in." -You look like you steal teeth. -Dreads is not a fashion choice when you haven’t showered or washed your hair in 10 years. I can smell the patchouli and the failed crystal deodorant through the phone -"You look like you go out of your way TO GET offended. - -Fucking hippy." -"Do all the test subjects consider themselves as ""working in a medical lab""? - -And you aren't a fairy, they just gave you syphilis." -"Patchouli oil and cat piss, what a combo" -Counting Crows groupie checking in. -Do your scabies have separate Reddit accounts? -"I believe you're an idiot. - -I'm right." -Kirsten Dunce -I didn’t know being tested on counted as work. The lab techs being unable to concentrate because your stench eats through masks doesn’t mean they have ADHD. -"You might think the crystal deodorant works, but it really doesn’t" -Just a lot of … crust on ye -That's why my lab results are wonky -She's a test subject -You’re even too weird for Downtown Denver -Homeless fairy that takes my cans in the night! -"The only girl NOT to get offered free drugs at a Phish concert lookin-ass. - -Shawty you look like Tumor Thurman in that first pic." -You're just like a church bench ....PEW !!! -Ayahuasca before or after the van? -Can we see your crystal and rock collection and all your dream catchers? -You forgot to brush the moss off your teeth -"Cocaine, mushrooms, Molly, dmt are a hell of a drug!" -Patchouli and piss. That’s the smell. -"Nice aesthetic, love how your teeth matches your dreads in the third picture. And you’re looking like two kind of predators in the second pic lol" -A can of tuna packed in oil left in a car trunk mid summer in Death Valley smells better than you! -"You’ve been chasing fairytales for so long, it’s no wonder your life looks like it was written by the Brothers Grimm—dark, tragic, and definitely not for kids." -"Drives a VW bus covered in stickers and lives in it, too." -Carnival ride operator and sniff and smell enthusiast -Okay twinklebell. I think the MDMA experiments you're participating in are working wonders. Quit snorting your magic pixie dust and get back to reality. -"This level of craziness must = amazing sex. Alright, which one of the boys is taking one for the team and dealing with her shrine of you afterwards?" -A messenger pigeon you mean? -This is why you don’t let your friends go to a Phish show. Hallucinogenics and meth aren’t a good combo -That’s not the only hair that’s dreadlocked. -Making essence oil drops isn't the same as working in a medical lab. -She always shits outdoors in the woods just ‘cause -"That's not fairy dust all over you, that's dirt and grime. " -"If ""You Mother was a hamster and your Father smelled of elderberries!"" was a real person." -"You personality and lifestyle says BO, but that face reads that it is the lack of wiping that causes the stench" -you look like you're proud of raising mushrooms in your nether regions. -are your nails rotting? -You look like you leave bottled water in the moonlight to absorb its healing energy. -You look exhausting and your parents are wondering there they went wrong. -You hog the joint every time talking about some world peace bullshit -Oh man it smells. It smells bad. -"You’re a white woman with dreads, the roast writes itself" -"These pictures made me smell my dreads out of curiosity. Apparently, when you don’t culturally appropriate they don’t just look like you can smell them from a picture." -I don’t know who’s more disappointed your father or my penis who won’t be able to get hard ever again because I had to look at this post. -Bet it’s like shagging a mushroom… -Fairy-ly stinky with 10 year old dreads… -"This reminds me, I gotta empty the bag in my vacuum." -Why does every woman on roastme have a nose ring -So cute! I don't care if you smell like cat piss -She is the definition of free use. How many crystals do you carry around with you? -"What in the Portland, OR is this shit? You manage to collect all them crystals and mushrooms too?" -Looking like Kirstin dump -People would never ask if you do drugs because you obviously do. -I kinda like 😆 not roasting today 🤷🏻‍♂️ sorry chick -"You know cigarettes aren’t a health food, right?" -You look like you live at a shitty renaissance fair -Taylor Trash -Getting experimented on does not mean you work in a lab -Definitely have tried to use herbal teas as a cure for things that herbal tea 100% cannot cure. -I can smell you through my phone screen… I’m sure you have an “allergy” to deodorants but do the world a favor and use them. -Buddy smells like my grandfather’s old camo slippers for sure -Aren’t medical labs supposed to be clean? -4 outta 4 of these pictures have a smell -by medical lab she means that’s where she takes her piss tests. The actual job is stealing shit like fairies do and selling the stuff to get back to the lab in time 😂 -DreadFUL -I bet you have a visually wet pillowcase -You look like the girl in my natural resources class in college who cried when I presented a report on Recycling. I explained how most of the stuff people recycle actually ends up on a landfill. And most of what actually gets recycled uses a bunch of resources to get to that point. Now you will have to find something else to give your life meaning besides not using shampoo and spending all your money making fancy dinners for your cats. -You make lab workers look bad....thanks for nothing -I can smell you through my phone. -You 100% give blow jobs to 50 year old men in exchange for shrooms at burning man. -You don’t mention your greatest achievement: Working your entire adult life to be completely unfuckable. -"If you're really a fairy, make yourself disappear." -Your description sounds like an old Republican over exaggerating what they think a liberal is. -She is gonna sprinkle her Fairy Crust on you… -You look like you live in your van and have an OnlyFans to pay for campground fees. -Her most prized possession is a backstage pass from the first Phish tour. It has a REVOKED stamp on it. -You look like last time you washed your pussy was the last time you washed your hair -"You look like Patchouli, and a dumpster had a baby." -"You look like someone who claims to be into witchcraft just to say some stuff about angels and be like ""I'm a christian witch.""" -Moldylocks -"I see 4 different bad hair styles, what’s next for your career?" -If curing my chlamydia with canola oil was a person. -You resemble Kirsten Dunst a bit. -You’re supposed to let OTHER people roast you but your title did all the heavy lifting -You look like a Bassnectar groupie. -A pot farm isn’t a medical lab. -Patchouli and palo santo -Hun hate to break it to you don't work in a medical lab they locked you in a med lab. Especially since I'm fairy certain that you have alot more goin on than whatever rainbow you dance on. 👽💨🍃 -Tell me you have a whole lot of pubic hair without actually saying it. -Not sure which smells worse. Your vagina or your dreads. -Trailer swift -Why does it matter that you have had dreads for 10 years? Do they have more identity than you? -"""Dreads for 10 years , working in a meth lab"" - -There fixed it for you" -Nothing we say can even come close to the despair your father must feeling see this. -Cat piss is not body wash. -You re-use you bath water -"Pretty girls post to RoastMe trying to be ironic because they know they are pretty. - -You posted this because you think you are one of them. - -And you don't think too good." -Living life smelling like Trader Joe’s garbage. -Lady you misspelt meth lab -I bet you have a bad dragon dildo made outta fucking crystals. -"you look cool, sorry" -"I can't help but notice how many of these comments are essentially stating that you actually look like you smell bad. -Do you ?" -Pre or post operative? Can we see the cats instead? -"You can still bang a fairy, right?" -not a roast. you seem so cool 😭🩵 -The white trash girl I've been looking for... -"You look like what a blunt smokes. Boom, roasted. - -But for real, thank you for your service in the medical field!!" -You look like you'd whimsically give me the clap at Woodstock -I kinda believe your a fairy too -Idk if this is against the rules but you are a fairy :D -Everybody is mean these days -"Okay but aside, keep living your fairy life 🧚‍♀️" -Oh cool a white person with dreads. -These pictures smell like an uncleaned Trader Joes bathroom -You look like you hold the record for the most abortions -Kirsten Dundst does meth? Damn I thought it would end better for her. -You already roasted yourself dawg -"I smell patchouli, blood and tuna" -"When you work in a research lab, you're not supposed to taste test the drugs." -Poster girl for the new patchouli deodorant -Cmon... Where's the van? -There isn't any way the bottom of her feet aren't black -Fairies aren't fuck ugly -You have the meth addict look down! -Guaranteed she doesn’t shave 🪒 any part of her body and believes in natural deodorant -You look like a proponent of vaginal composting. -Gorgeous -"No roast, I think you’re beautiful." -Yo it's Jack Sparrow when he met Taylor Swift yall -i am in love -Are you sure you’re “working” in the lab? You look like the Petri dish. -I can smell you through the phone.... I don't consent to this -changing blowjobs for molly -"To cute, I can't roast you" -I know this is a roast but idc I think you’re really pretty 🥹cute style too -Prime example of no child left behind policy. -"I'd be in a relationship with her, sounds like a good time." -When actually the crazy cat is lady is smart and Hot! -I can smell you through my phone. -With one look everyone can tell you are a fairy -"Sorry for unrelated but if you don't mind me asking, what kind of work do you do? How did you find the work opportunity? What qualifications did you need? Sounds like an interesting role" -"Dig the dreads! I had them in my early 20s. -Oh and you suck! Boom roasted " -"You eat organic/vegan, but don't hesitate doing drugs that's been smuggled in someones asshole." -I can't. You're definitely a fairy & a beautiful one at that. Sorry. 🧚‍♀️ -"You look like you volunteer to do all the stool cultures in the microbiology lab with the hood turned off— because you enjoy the smell 🤢 - -You love the smell of Shigella in the morning 🤮" -"Can’t roast because you’re my type, which means I’m roasting myself 😫" -She's got 13 crystals in her ass to feel better -Those dreads are probably the longest relationship you will ever have. -I have the same tapestry. -"I thought this was the dread sub, not r/roastme, going through the comments I was just like. Holy shit they are being so mean with this one 🤣" -Only fairy dust you got is the line you sniff before you get out of bed -"Uh…. Sorry, I got nothing. I like it 👍" -Taylor Swift if she made the wrong decisions in high school -"I would love to roast you, but I’m loving how you look closer to 19 than 34. Sunscreen?" -Up your meds!!!!!now!! -The only thing worth roasting is the loan officer who approved your student loans. -I can smell your BO through the phone. -Smell you later -comment -"Dollar General is both your stage name, and your next job." -The one Waffle House waitress that doesn't get hit on by the drunk after club crowd. -Hotness Level: starter girlfriend for white trash guys. -You look like if you take the glasses off your nose comes off with it. -Being the person behind the gloryhole doesn't mean you 'work at waffle house'. -You look like your father never returned -"Everything about this says -“My personality is my music taste is great and I think I’m deep and introspective because genocide is bad and people have feelings mannn”" -You look you're just about the only fuckin reason a waffle house would close -You’d be cute if it wasn’t for your everything. -“I work at Waffle House” na you stand outside begging for change -"The one night stand chick that you fuck the morning after because she's there and what the hell...and then run into her at Walmart multiple times for the next year, always with a different dude." -"Nothing says good service like chipped nail polish and aquarium shaped eyeglasses. -The glasses help hide what’s behind them though, so there’s that." -Lookin at a minimum $6 Uber from eyebrow to eyebrow -How many local punk band members does she have in her stomach? -"If black lives mattered so much to you, why do you keep swallowing them?" -"So that's where you got the nickname ""Over Easy""...." -"Good lord, Do your eyebrows have restraining orders against each other?" -"So I know this is a roast page, and the point of it is to insult you. But you mentioned that you have no will to live, and if any part of that is not a joke, I hope you'll reconsider and reach out to someone for help. Life is worth living. - -Also, while we are being serious, there's really nothing wrong with how you look and you don't need to be embarrassed. I'm not saying that just to make you feel good; I'm serious." -"Your chest is as flat as the cast of ""Enterprise."" - -(Actually mine is too.)" -"Fitting - I heard your nickname in high school was ""Scattered, Smothered, and Covered""." -Ain’t no way you got all your teeth -"Hate to break it to you, but this probably the highlight of your life. It's only going to be downhill from here." -Something tells me your special is a “ blue waffle” -I hope whatever you’re going through… you get through it -You spelled whorehouse wrong -Stop thinking of yourself. Make the trailer payment and put some tater tots in the microwave for the kids. -"You are the epitome of ""You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds -I want you smothered, want you covered, like my Waffle House hash browns""" -It looks like you fuck every man that comes into Waffle House and orders waffles. -Your eyebrows are ruined by them being slightly asymmetrical. -"Things will not last longer, the way you're feeling right now will pass eventually. Sometimes I also have suicidal thoughts but it's just an permanent reaction toward temporary things. Going with this flow of feeling will lead to destruction. Hold tight, fasten your seat belt your life will take a quick turn. If you have something to share well, I'll listen. - -🤟Peace" -Fiona Gallagher -"Did you wake up one day, look in the mirror and say “How can I make myself look worse? A Septum nose ring!”" -You seem way too nice it makes me uncomfortable to roast you. -Just drop your OF at this point -"Sucking dick in the bathroom doesn’t make you a Waffle House employee, Tammy. I’ve told you that many times." -You're beautiful. -Your cute -"Honestly cute, I’ve got nothing" -"I’d date you, which isn’t a compliment." -You look like you smell like aged cheddar. -"Quit the Waffle House… and shoot for the stars ✨Think Golden Corral or Chick Fillet, maybe even Starbucks." -You look like you leave your gum under the tables you bus -Nah bro pls. All the reason to live ! Cheers ! -Serviceable. Yes. -just leave him sis. its time -You put the awful ho in Waffle House -You will always smells like hashbrowns and not in a good way. -You work in a waffle house - what else needs to be said! -That moment when you’re shaped like an hour glass and a 2x4 at the same time. -Bruh you day shift ain’t no way you scrap -You would need breasts before you could “keep one”. -ofc this cringe boring bitch would be rocking a rick and morty shirt in 2024 -Future stripper. -You should fit in OF's ugly category. -"""Hmmnn, I don't know.... Take your shirt off first before I make up my mind."" - - - the officiant at your wedding" -This is the wrong missy -"Good choice wearing a loose top, so people would think that maybe you’re a size A" -At least you'll be struggling single mom soon. -The mom from inside out is working at the waffle house now? -"You look like the ""cash me ouside"" girl but they caught you outside and dragged you back in." -You misspelled no trump. -When I said “smothered and covered” I wasn’t talking about the hash browns. -"What do you and prostitutes have in common? - -The faster you work, the more tips you get." -It’s a waffle home -I call dibs on the body… -You look like people want to fuck you but no one wants to meet you. -just looks like a avg white girl with a jock boyfriend -I guess that explains why you washed your hair with maple syrup.. -"Don't stress.. -Everything will be OK.... -I know because your not using an Apple Product.." -You look like you drive a Pontiac grand prix. -You're one transition away from a homeless twink -Don't give up. You could end up at an IHOP one day.... -">18F, i work at waffle house, and i have no will to live so make it good - -Shut up and make me a waffle. You'll be fine." -Waffle House? You are attractive enough that you could probably work at any strip club that you wanted to -"Since you have a pixel, can you please remove the object with orange-black cover from the photo? Thanks." -I dont think i can fix you. -As long as you don’t mess up my order could care less about your will to live -Only you can make this Waffle House a Waffle Home. -You look like you're obsessed with a cute regular but never have the courage to speak to them. -I’m sorry I can’t. You look like Manvir Nahal and she’s my favorite 🤗 -You are beautiful. You have the look of someone who will blossom into a wonderful looking woman. Take care of yourself and eat the best you can. Life will make you into a gorgeous female. -"That’s a good start, I’m sure you make many of your customers happy with your wit, smile, looks. Your young, start putting away a little money away and invest it. Go to school if you want, even a class here and there and you will do great." -"Username checks out, turnips be missing -Now remove the letter t" -You look like a tadpole -Blue Waffle House*** -"Out of Alvin and the Chipmunks gfs, Jeanette with the glasses is my favorite." -Dont give girl! Soon you’ll be somebodys baby mama -"You know, if you get your life together now, and work really hard, who knows. In a few years, you could become a Buc-ee’s gas station cashier." -Still got the hook in her nose from being caught and released. They know better than to keep you. -"You look like the sorta waitress that bangs the chefs for free food - -A fry-sexual" -"and lets talk about that hair line, was this picture takin in covid because it looks like your eyebrows are social distancing, you can never be a pirate because their is no treasure on that chest." -"The 1920’s called, they want their washboard back." -Keep your hopes up. Maybe one day you can work your way up to head server at IHOP. -“Breakfast Sausage” is the nickname you gave to all of your male coworkers ! -You look like bad breath -So this is whose camel crush ash keeps ending up in my omelet -“I have no will to live” doesn’t mean to be said twice. You already mentioned it by saying you chose to work at Waffle House. -"I don't even want to roast you. You're cute and Waffle House workers are heroes. And that won't be your gig forever, so don't sweat it too much. The trick is not to fuck up your life in the meantime so when opportunity does knock you're smart enough to see it and prepared to go for it." -These Roast Me posts are so masochistic. -"Flatter chest than the griddle. - -You also look like you'd get your ass beat in a waffle house fight." -"In my experience you check so many boxes. Im sorry for your future. - -Clear phone case: Check -Piercing somewhere on face: Check -Either make up to create a whole new identity or natural-ish with acne: Check -Small-ish frame: Check -At least one form of baggy clothes: Check -Jewelry everywhere: Check. - -What is next? Dont tell me. Do you have a mental health issue or perhaps smoke week/vape? -Do you have a tiny pet?" -I am guessing your parents are really waffling if they should have had an abortion. -"When the employee handbook suggested 15 pieces of flair, that didn't mean to put them all on your face." -"Being the prettiest waitress at Waffle House is a lot like winning gold at the Special Olympics. Yeah you won, but still.." -How many step fathers have you had? One for each piece of jewelry? -You’re cute tho -"You’re actually really pretty. Your glasses may look great on you. - -To fulfill the roast quota, my partner said that you look like a humanoid mouse in a fever dream." -"Scattered, smothered, and covered in trucker jizz." -Nope... not doing it. No way. Not messing with mfs that handle my food 🤣🤣🤣 -I would not suggest applying at Hooters - at this point. -I'm pretty sure you're scrawny ass cant scrap so I'm calling bs on working at the awful house. The ladies that usually work there ..smoking over the grille while they make your food... those dudes throw tf down. I see you more of a looking for cigarette butts on the ground to smoke out back of the waffle house.. -Itty bitty titty committee -No will to live? Fuck…. I don’t wanna roast someone on the edge. That make me pathetic? So you’re a kid so just keep going forward. The world exists to the youth. You’ve got it all. Your glasses are cool. -"Although Waffle House is a necessary evil, your Rick and Morty shirt redeems you. But you're still a dork." -Dye your hair jet black and you will look like ultimate warlock satan worshiper. -Getting passed around by the cooks doesn't mean you work at the waffle house -"you are beautiful, loved, and worthy of appreciation" -Not sure what's bigger my dick or her nose -"Awwww I'm usually the first person to clown on sacrificial roast victims but I have no stone to throw at a young lady who is just starting out in life, has a job, is too cute, and has unlimited possibilities ahead of her. I'm just a little over twice your age and have made a ton of mistakes in my life and am basically starting over, and I know how it feels to not want to live, but for now if for nothing else I hope you keep on living so you can brighten the days of those around you with that pretty smile :-)" -You look like your step brother helped you get that shirt out of the dryer earlier when you got stuck -You look like someone who eats potato skins and spinach as your primary diet -You don't look like you could deflect any metal chairs or dicks being thrown at your face. -Even your wrists have cankles -Working at Waffle House because Uncle Daddy won't pay for your meth? -I bet you say the same thing on your OnlyFans account. -Is that a nose stud or a booger?! -Def fucking a BoH bro for coke and burnt waffles 😂 -The giant point on your elbows seems to be more pronounced than your chest -Obviously you are not getting any good tips with that body so you must be offering blowjobs as they wait for their food. -The only pretty looking thing is the back case of that phone. -You look like you've stopped many Waffle House flying chairs with your face -"Your sex life is like your work environment at 3am. Dark, loud, and everyone is disgusted with their meal. Someone always has to take an emergency shit and the shift usually ends when there’s a violent shooting." -It would be more appropriate if you worked at Pancake House with that flat-as-a-pancake chest of yours. -"Aww! I'll bet you're the fourth prettiest employee in the Waffle House! Right after Lou, who's been on HRT for under a month." -and somehow you rock an expensive pixel. btw on the same boat as you. -"My life may be a joke, but it's not as funny as your outfit" -You look like you work at waffle house -There are plenty of blind men looking for an allegedly hot GF. -I wouldn’t eat you even if you came with extra bacon. -"I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Waffle House before, but from what I hear it’s an even trashier Denny’s. Better than Only Fans I guess." -I can see why -Your complexion suits the cuisine you serve -Anyone ever google.blue waffle? It's her! -You look like you give dry handjobs to guys tip you more than $1 -"Your arm band thingie says keep a breast, yet you appear to have given both yours away" -"Yup, you do look like you would work at a wafflehouse." -Engaging in prostitution outside a Waffle House doesn't mean you actually work at Waffle House. -You’re such a disaster The Waffle House Index doesn’t even have a color for you. -Hiding Hit me baby one more and a blunt tattoo under this ugly oversized shirt -You could have fooled me thought you were 38 -"Daddy was right, you ain’t put together right for the pole, so Waffle House it is." -You look like you’ve lost so many fights in the Waffle House parking lot you ended up with two cauliflower ears and a cauliflower face… -If you had tits you could work at McDonald's -Your title is a lie. She for the streets. -You look like the woman an extremely shy man would practise asking girls out on -Come over here...I need a good ironing board -"You work at ***a*** waffle house. Maybe if you knew grammar, you wouldn't be working at waffle house." -she looks like she has a vocal fry -I’ve seen more character in a bowl of plain grits. -"So you know you're 4 foot tall but, then you went and said let's cover a third of that with 1980s glasses? - -Unenthusiastic HJ's at the Waffle House are back, tonight only! 🥱" -You look like you're a pick me girl who gets fucked by her group of guy friends then goes home feeling better about yourself somehow -Waffle House Lean Beef Patty -so you are saying there's a chance of you dying earlier than that pixel phone? -"Got promoted from a professional sandwich assembler at home, to a professional waffle maker on duty" -"Do you work AT the waffle house or is the waffle house where you conduct your ""business transactions""? 🤔" -That eyebrow piercing has about 12-18 months left before it grows out completely ... Not even inanimate body jewellery can stand to be around you. -"i hear you can make better tips at hooters, maybe you can…. uhhh nevermind" -I'm thinking of cashing it in too. Want to meet up and do a double? -Sucking a dude’s dick by the Waffle House dumpster is not “working at Waffle House” -"I tried to scroll, then I thought, why?" -I bet you're the prettiest girl on third shift. -She lives off the waffle house left overs. -Blue waffle house -Some poor dude forgot to pull out and jizz on your mother's tramp stamp....behind the dumpster at Wafffle House. -"Are you using the money to pay for your transition, sir? Ops, ma’am" -The Waffle House is beneath you. You could work at dennys -I bet you get lots of tips. And then they change their mind and leave. -Caseohs personal swrvant -So nobody has heard of a Boise State Puss Hog? -"Chair bender? Nah. - -You’re the gender bender." -Equal opportunity hands and lips. -Get a nail job and just use your mouth next time. -you ever go into work and wonder if some crazy bitch is gonna throw a chair at ur head -Nah suicidal intent is where I draw the line unless you’re just seeking attention lol -Are the buns on your head compensating for the lack of buns elsewhere? -You should write a book about your experiences at Waffle House. Or a photo book I’d customers doing weird shit. Or an insta and charge for watching. People will pay for dumb shit. -Just when I thought the food there couldn’t get any greasier -Look! Another desperate Gen Z loser who can't just work quietly and shut up about themselves. -Good to know you had a back up for when you got rejected by the strip club -Looks like she was born for waffle house. When you finna get into hard drugs? -they only let the most white trash people work at Waffle House. Congrats on fitting the criteria -Come around to my studio for a casting. I won’t pay you anything but l’ll circulate your video to multiple producers who pay upwards of $5000 a day. Interested? -You look like you come pre-lubricated with bad life choices. -Get rid of your nose ring before a attach a 9 volt battery -Stop banging your manager in the supply closet -I don't really think you're going to need a will if you work at Waffle House. You also need to know who your family is if you want someone to inherit. -Should have been waffle stomped in the shower -You look like a gagger i used use to empty my mid day high jerk off session in the back. -She's the only one there not getting flipped over and buttered. -"Much like the Waffle House, avoid the eggs with this one" -"You should be happy to be alive, the world needs its uninteresting background actors." -Cue fake depressed Teenager lol. -The Waffle House has found a new host -Waffle House? She’s clearly housing a blue waffle in her undies.. -I’d never learn your name. You’d always be “kinda cute waffle girl” -Brown shirt and brown pants. I have no words….. -I’d rather eat a waffle -Do something different with your life because your current path is going to create more of you -"“Covered and Smothered” - -That’s how your boyfriend wants you." -"The waffles house, where strippers and crack whores who can can’t work go to work" -Good to know where on the highschool drop out to daytime stripper pipeline you are. -….Do you use the waffle grease as foundation? -Well at least we don't have to be depressed about someone beautiful wasting their life. You look like you were meant to. -"The baby is not going to change that. - -And hopefully the manager is the dad, not the cook." -"im guessing that you didn't do well in school, you smoke a lot of pot, play a lot of video games, and want more piercings in your face. you probably are questioning your sexuality. you're doing great at life kitten, keep up the hard work. i know those 5 hr shifts are a tough." -"You look like you're dating the married manager, sorry, did I say dating? I meant blowing him under his desk once a week while you hope and pray he leaves his wife for you." -"Are you excited about buying your first bra, soon?" -"I can’t tell if you are wearing pants in that picture, or if your legs and hips are just pasty white and gnarly." -"By “work at Waffle House” does that mean you bang homeless dudes in an alley for $11.60 mmm grand slam. - -You’ve got the look of someone who’s downstairs is definitely scattered…and smothered." -"She came there for the money, but stayed for the black men." -"You wont work at waffle house long but, you have a long career as a practice girl at least" -Thank God my state isn't popular for having waffle houses -"I mean after you get that liberal arts degree, you at least will still have a job lined up." -How many times have you been in trouble for soliciting at work? Your manager can’t keep covering for you even if he likes the blowwies -Hate from NC -You don't need a will if you die with $37 bucks in cash -you look like you faked a pregnancy to get attention. -you look like you trat the pe teacher like the father that you never had -Sad if true -"You look like you say, ""Wubba lubba dub dub!"" as your catch phrase" -Can we talk about why you dont have no will to live instead? Real talk here. -"Saying you have ""no will to live"" shouldn't be this trendy, cool, silly little thing that your dumb ass generation has made it. YOU AREN'T IN JAIL, YOU ARE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO WORK.. SO STFU" -A picture and story we can definitely smell -It’s good to know Waffle House is hiring people with special needs. -Not even Eldrick would tap this one. -"Isn’t “work at a Waffle House” and “no will to live” redundant? Stop sticking sharp things through your face, it doesn’t distract anyone from the fact that you use bacon grease from work as skin cream. Those nails are the proof that you lack the basic capacity for basic hygiene." -You look like you do meth occasionally -"Nobody, with any sense, is attacking a Waffle House chick." -You look like you give sloppy head to the kitchen staff by the dumpsters after a long shift. -"If you were in one of those 90s teen movies, you could take off your glasses, do a full makeover, and look exactly as average as you do here. - -When shit hits the fan at the Waffle House, you’re the one ducking behind the counter because you can’t fight, and aren’t strong enough to throw a chair. - -You should’ve listened to your bracelet." -"For the next couple years you’ll be also known for the best of the worst things that waffle house has to offer, along side the horrible throat fucks you “promised are the best in town” cause that’s what your 60 year old boss and daddy say (since those are the only tips you ever get)just felt like I was fucking left over dried up waffle dough cause it “looked like a good idea at the time” <- probably not your first time hearing that) but really was just a huge waste of my time, energy and nut. It also took away my will too live…" -Do you ever bathe? You look filthy like a slop hog. -Using depression and suicidal ideation as character traits. You are about as unique as a waffle house. -You look more burnt out than your restaurant’s food -Apparently your bracelet didn't do anything of value because it looks like you've already lost both -You look like you grew up in house that smells like pets but you didn't have pets -I think this is proof that cum doesn't actually clear up skin -Boring.. -You don’t have a breast to keep. -Your chains give you the respect of a low level drug dealer -Syrup is your excuse on why you are sticky all the time -Do you get a discount on waffles? Yum! -Blue waffle? -“Working behind a waffle house” -You look like you could make a couple bucks on onlyfans -Blue waffle house more like -She looks like she doesn’t shave and keeps it “fresh “ 🙄 -Waffle House. Butter face. -I see a black leather couch in your future. -You look scattered smothered covered chunked snd topped. -"You look chopped, chunked and smothered" -"Bitch, how? You work at FUCKING WAFFLE HOUSE!! If anything, your survival instinct is OVER DEVELOPED!! ""I WuNna DY Sooo BaD"" BULL. -SHIT. You work at the one place that's legally closest to FIGHT CLUB by Chuck Palanuik. Bitch doesn't wanna die, she's just trying to lure in people she and her psycho co-workers can jump. I'm on to you... - -GTFOH...." -comment -Just for clarification…. Exactly how much “confidence” did you eat????? 🤔 -This guy handing out vaginal dryness like it’s in fashion -Built like a snowman -Does your OBGYN know that you’re going to the gym this late into your third trimester? -Was eating an exercise ball the only reason you went to the gym? -It's like in cartoons when someone would swallow a bomb and it explodes. -Your toilet will disagree. -when is the gender reveal party? -Dude's pre workout food is always a buffet -What 250 pounds of shit in a 200 pound bag looks like -Lol you look like pregnant Dakota fanning -Built like a busted can of biscuits my guy -You literally look like a pregnant wife who is dressing up as their husband 😂 -Oh she glued that beard on! -You remind me of those dead whales that get washed up on the beach and become nitrous balloons -You spelled gyro wrong  -I think it was something else that blew up instead. -When you hold in a fart too long. -Reposting huh. Wow you really must be lonely -Don’t get dude vibes from you it’s freaking me tf out -Average pregnant male they/them in 2024 -"You definitely ready for the gym, and it ain't your confidence blowing up you gotta worry about!" -"You know, you should start working out before ""bulking""." -"Nice shirt, do they sell them in your size or do you prefer them in 12 year old girl sizing?" -You look like a pregnant yoga instructor -That’s a hell of a fanny pack -Thank you for making me feel better about myself! -"Douche-boy backwards ball cap ✔️ -Alcoholic beer gut ✔️ -Teen girl addiction to selfies ✔️ - -Poster child for involuntary celibacy? -PRICELESS" -"Congratulations entering the gym! Now instead of eating, put the food down and workout." -Are you a pregnant trans man? -Your confidence now has a lot in common with your new girlfriend that came in the mail -Your personal trainer is not even close to ready yet -"So Dylan Mulvany was right, we can get pregnant…" -Egg on legs -Dudes not gonna make it to 30 -Punish your toilet! -Is this “confidence” in the room with us now? -Gym ready? Brother you were ready for the gym 5 years ago. -Are you supposed to go to the gym when you're 9 months pregnant? -Brrrr skibidodopdop dob dob dob yess yess yess -"Ngl i think you're gonna look like kratos once you work out, keep on going dude!" -Looks like you slammed the breaks on the IPAs but weren’t prepared for how long it’d take to actually come to a stop. -Damn Marshall… letting yourself go. Lay off mom’s spaghetti -Gym ready lmao looking like a gummy bear with a beard -It's time to stop cultivating mass and start harvesting. -You look like youre a joke character from the Sims. -I think you mean buffet ready. -Are you past the due date? -When’s it due? -Pretty sure the only thing blowing up here is that belly -So is your stomach apparently -be sure to share your fitness tips with the ladies at the gym. chics dig attention. -When's the baby coming? -This man ate Humpty Dumpty -You look like my husband. DM me. -There’s fat people… but then there’s “only belly fat” people. This was your doing you cake eating halo master. -The only thing that’s blowing up is your stomach -"You look like you have 3 brain cells all competing for 4th place, and they are all out of breath." -it’s the gutapotumus! how much food do you drive into that big fuckin cheeseburger locker? -Gymmy Johns? -I've heard of a stomach called many things but never a confidence. -"Kind sir, i come to inform you that, upon careful analysis of current state of your dtomach, we to, have confidence you'll blow up" -"Get an app to help track your daily life. Walk 10,000 steps, drink a lot of water, no sodas or fast food, count calories, eat healthy meals, no snacks, low sugar, avoid saturated fat. If you can get your heart rate up for ten minutes or more. I’m following this guide and have dropped 80 pounds in one year. It’s really all about changing your habits and I can’t stress enough about how much better my life has become! You are in charge and can do it!" -A man's gotta eat Mr lahey -Congrats on the baby -Is confidence the name for your stomach?! -I’m suddenly reminded of the scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Violet turns into a blueberry. -Did that t shirt come in a spray can? -Whichever room he enters...ik his stomach enters first -Real talk going to the gym and working to better yourself is only something that insecure people will make fun of you for and if someone seriously gives you shit for it just know it’s because they aren’t happy with themselves and want to drag you down with them. -"Meant Jim, ready? My confidence 🍆is blowing up❤️😛" -You shouldn’t be putting on the new clothes BEFORE you lose the weight. -"Man, that workout was hard. - -Sir, that was just the tour of the gym." -"you're not a pregnant man, you're a pregnant female with facial hair" -Your confidence isn’t the only thing that blew up -The only machines he’s gonna hit are the vending machines -you look like you keep using gym equipment intentionally wrong so you can smell it's upholstery for people's buttsweat -"“Gym ready”? For what, your sumo debut?" -When are you due? -snowman⛄️ -You look like Tyson Fury if he never knew he could move. -You look like a baby hippo paved over with asphalt. -Looks like you’re about to give birth to a Ford F-150 -You need to give birth first before you hit the gym -You cast the same silhouette as a bloated toddler. -“There once was a buffoon who swallowed a hot air balloon…” -🫃🏻 -"You have a good face, if you get an avrg build you'd be good looking. (oh shit, im sorry i find it hard to roast)" -You look like you use both hands when taking a drink. -Tell us more about this guy Gym. -You look like you've been ready for a while. -"Do you think the gym is going to your local shitty all you can eat buffet? Because idk how else you are confident right now. - -Here's your chance to be a new world athlete that hotdog eating champion joey chestnut dropped out." -"Is ""my confidence"" a new cake?" -Your stomach is about to blow up too it seems -Jesus Christ Randy why don’t you cram another cheese burger in that gut of yours -Dude I think you were my English teacher at one point in my life -it's looking like you've been gym ready since 2018 -What stage of pregnancy is that? -Oh good so you're finally ready to blow jim -I think you got belly mixed with confidence lil bro -"""Confidence is high, repeat confidence is high!"" - -https://youtu.be/D1CgGxPWyI0?feature=shared" -"Speaking of things blowing up!! - -https://youtu.be/Ku42Iszh9KM?feature=shared" -Gym whale clothing line finally released I see. -Center of gravity has shifted up -This dude has never passed a cheeseburger. Needs to stop getting his shirts and dates at Baby Gap. -It looks like your belly is blowing up -So is your belly good golly day -Is that shirt painted on? -Congrats on the twins -You wear that shirt to show you like testing the fabric of spacetime -Nice tits -Congratulations on the twins. -"Nick Calandra, ready for some Deliverance “squeal like a pig” style roasting." -"Holy shit! How’d you get so fucking fat in such a weird way?  -It didn’t even spread out! It just… went to your gut. -You look like a fucking squeezed water balloon." -When your man looks so good you literally get him pregnant -When do you hatch? -You look like woody filled with pillow foam. -I didn't know my boyfriend had a twin brother here🙈 -This cum dumpster loves doing these roast. Glad to see the diabetes didn’t take his extremities yet -"You know you're not supposed to eat the gym balls, right ?" -God just cursed this bro with the weirdest body shape -That shirt is the only one doing any heavy lifting. -Nice gut bro. It will take a million sit ups. -Really? I can't tell. -"looks like confidence and your gut are doing the same thing , blowing up." -Don't let the caption fool you. Jim Ready is his name. -This guy has got his own centripetal force. -See trans people can get pregnant -You been “gym ready” for 5 years it’s time to actually go -"i mean, other things are blowing up besides your confidence" -Your're lucky your chest is relatively flat still -"Okay, Oogie Boogie" -Kfc final boss -The political group opposite me wants to ban IVF. I think I might be willing to cross party lines. -Who's your trainer? Lizzo? -I can tell you and and your dick never have seen each other eye to tip -Skibidi bop bop bop yes yes -Gym? You’re in shape. Oval is a shape. -Stop wearing your sister’s shirts. Note I said sister not gf -"Spelled Jim is ready. Bottoming today, Kevin?" -"Stop lying to yourself. You meant to write you're ""buffet ready""." -He’s just gonna go eat ice cream in front of the windows of the gym. -"Whoa, your arms remind me of an episode of ""drag race"" when the dude said, ""I try not to lift anything heavier than 10lbs""." -Sam smith -More like your fat belly is blowing up! -I think your belly is in more danger of blowing up… -Skibadee dog dog dog dog yes yes yes yes -Careful going near any sharp gym equipment bro youll pop right out the window. -You're not supposed to take the medicine balls home with you. -Is the confidence in the room w us now? -The male equivalent of a fupa. -You have the kind of precautionary beer belly that spurs lazy guys like me into immediately getting a gym membership -Even the machines can’t handle you -"Excuse me, You are a man or a transgender pregnant man? It's not clear to me because of your belly. The rest of the body it's clearly homosexual." -Donut eating competitions isn't a sport -Motherfucker with a gut like that is definitely still on the cheeseburgers naw what I'm saying -Your confidence is blowing up? Probably that bowling ball your caring. -Not biologically male. That is a female taking male hormones. -Look like the Kool aid man knocked you up. -I didn’t know Dillion Francis came in extra large -When are you due? -I knew that trans men could also get pregnant -If anything you can cosplay as the blob -"Dude, if you want to dress as a ninja turtle, the shell is meant to go on the back." -If you get any more rounder you'll become a soccer ball -So how many months along are you? Have you picked out a name yet? Will you be having a gender reveal party? -You look like Tyson Furys depression -You look like an engorged expectant mother -"Is ""confidence"" slang for fat belly where you are from?" -So this is what we orbit around -Dairy is not ur friend. Bloting like a balloon -not a good idea to lift weight while you are pregnant -You have the body of homer in the 3d Simpsons movie -Good on you! You're going to make everyone else there feel really good about themselves! -Get ready. Looks like your water is about to break. -This has to be fake -When's your due date? -"I was questioning my masculinity until I saw this guy. Not anymor - -Ever" -You ate your gym bro...didn't you! 😔 -"You really took the promises of Obamacare as a challenge, didn’t you?!" -Nah your stomach blowing up mate -you’re about that slim slow diet -"Built like randy - - -Greeeeee eee easy" -They smell your arrival at the glory hole. -Your gut is blowing up. Ain't no cheeseburgers at the gym. -How many natty lights does one have to drink to develop this physique? -"You may be gym ready, but I doubt the gym equipment is ready for that body though." -Looks like you already stole the medicine ball from the gym. Keep it up! -"Octomom, your transition is failing and you're running out of time. - Increase the hormone injections ASAP -You're a ticking time bomb!" -Your shirt is blowing up -your confidence is blowing up like the beach ball under your shirt -"Dear god man, IPA's aren't THAT good" -Your profile says you’re bulking. Stop cultivating mass - it’s time to start harvesting -🫃 <- this you? -Mr. Feast -Caseohs nemesis -“His name was Robert Paulson” -You own Disney if you’re pregnant. Congratulations -OctoMom -Are you the balance ball? -T shirt is blowing up too dough boy -"Sir, stop calling it gym, it's brewery and you own us 200$ of beer" -How much weight is required to make sure you don't float away? -Bros built like a pear -Sea_second_3827? Try C_section_3827. -Thanks for making me feel better about myself. I'm like Brad Pitt in Fight Club compared to you. -Pass. I only roast ham on Christmas. -Since when did they start calling fat camps “gyms” -Your life has gone pear shaped mate!....like your body -The only thing you’re “blowing up” is toilets. -You don’t need to smuggle in your own kettlebell to the gym. -Thought you were about to play some ball with that basketball in your shirt. -You look like your go to pickups are “you should smile more” and “where’s *my* hug?” -If a sack of potatoes had a face -Stop drinking ipas dude. You got more estrogen than octomom -Nine pounds of potatoes in a 6 pound sack. -Dudes shirt is at 2000psi. -No you are not passing as a man -You can’t see your own feet without mirror -Kettle Belly -Dont eat space hoppers! -My buddy eats a whole lot of confidence with those dorito dust infused fingers of his. -god... that is some unfortunate fat distribution.... -Don't jump -You look as confident as a kickball. -Bro you’re not supposed to EAT the exercise balls -Confidence or the toilet? -It's the mafucking mayor mccheese from the trailer park boys. -Something else is blowing up too. When's it due? -"People keep roasting you because of your belly and breasts, but I don’t think that’s right… they should roast you for you terrible sense of style, the clothes are so cheap that it looks like you cant even afford Walmart, and the cap showing a lil bit of hair is rescinding hairline 101." -"6 - pack❌️ -3.14 - pack✅️✅️✅️" -Damn that just looks so uncomfy -How many PSI's is that shirt rated for? -It's an appropriate shirt you're wearing because I would have guessed that you weigh about 1K. -"Looks like the only machines you’ve been hitting at the gym, is the vending machines." -Stop drinking sugar. Stop drinking alcohol. Your stomach is very swollen and you are at high risk of a heart attack. Boom roasted. -Skibidi -"You look the like the kind of guy who'd have a child held captive in his basement, probably who you got that t shirt from." -I was taught to never roast a pregnant woman...or man. -Glad to see Nikocado Avocado lost 10lbs -Roasting trash of this size would leave one hell of a carbon footprint. -your belly's about to blow up too -If you were being honest describing your body you wouldnt say 6 pack abs youd self describe as having a keg. -So... I think you have a legitimate medical issue. I saw your head and shoulders and didn't really think you'd be overweight. Then your torso looks like you are wearing a movie fat suit. You've either got a strange body build or you're seeing symtoms of a medical issue- people mention it all the time in this sub when people have weirdly water-bloated torso/parts that don't match the rest of their body. -You look like a wii character that was dropped on the cutting room floor -That belly has got to have its own orbit. And I thought case-oh was bad. You look like niccoavacodos other gay brother. -Fatty Liver King -“Hey babe can I see your gym shirt”. -I think your belly is next -Gonna go look for something in r/kickme now because of you -puting on a polyester shirt and taking a selfie doesnt count as going to the gym -Your condifence is blowing up and you are as well -What's your favourite machine......the vending machine? -Do you have names picked out? -Octoman -You need to up your testosterone injections to finish your transition -You're like a POM juice bottle come to life. -You look like a pregnant woman who is dressing as her husband for Halloween. -Dude consumed the whole gym. -HE ROUND -🫃 -Your confidence is not the only thing blowing up. -Built and posing like a teapot -The only Jim you have ever seen is your bf -"Hey, what time is lunch? And is there any after you eat?" -You look pregnant -That shirt is not keeping anything hidden -Your confidence is not the only thing about to blow up. -You look like you were made by AI -Why does this look like a photoshop? -I honestly think it’s a fake gut. It’s way too big to be real. Let us roast the REAL you. -"( *sigh* ... *looks at profile* ) - -Ah, a Gayner." -"Do you delete your old posts to do them again? I've seen this before. -But hey your noodle arms are memorable at least" -Ai? -Why does this look so fake -pregnant? -This is what happens when you roast AI -You can go to the gym all you want… you’re never gonna work harder than that shirt. -"No roast. - -Mad props on your health journey. - -Post some after pics and good luck!" -We bulking this summer! -You DO know t-shirts come in other sizes and they don’t cost anymore that you paid for the one you’re wearing right? -don't forget to wear your training bra! -Gut is not spelled c-o-n-f-i-d-e-n-c-e. -So is that belly -Is it a boy or girl? 🫃 -If you are pregnant ask your Dr. Before starting any exercise regime. -Awww congrats! When’s the due date? -A Slob Rock -This nigga wearing his sister shirt -don’t you hate when you realize you’re wearing your wife’s tshirt -At least your shirt is skinny -"Check into labor and delivery, baby coming anytime bro" -"I always see conservatives online obsessing about ""pregnant men"" and never understood what the hell they were talking about. Then I saw your picture." -"The gym is the easy part. The diet is the hard part. - -But I know you can do it." -You and your baby got this fam. -dont let any pins near that balloon -Mac! -Sorry but the Michelin man isn’t expected for at least a few more months -Looks like he swallowed the gym’s medicine ball -your confidence will never blow up as big as your belly -"The only Thing i ser blowing up are the numbers on the scale, when U Just Put one foot It Is already at 100kg" -Homie built like the Grinch who stole Leftovers -Congrats! How many months? -Bro ate a balloon -Why are you an AI? -You look like a tire that is mid blowing up -Hey not everyone gets to claim first place in the bowling pin lookalike contest... -Looking good in that Schmedium shirt. Lol -What’s your beer of choice lol -When’s your due date? -How many weeks are you? When's the due date? -Built like a busted can of biscuits my guy -Don't listen to these folks. You look GREAT!!!! You're positively GLOWING. I'm looking forward to lots of photos when the baby gets here!!! -You look like the guy with the jiggly belly that passed way. -Built like a bag of mayonnaise!!!!! -"My grandma just said ""is he gonna eat anything?""" -Thought it was bad for the baby’s health if you exercised? -"bro the only thing that is blowing up... is you... in slow motion. start taking biweekly photos, by christmas you should have enough for a flip book. if you spin that flipbook, youll see something actually blowing up, at 24fps, youll have maybe 1 second." -And yet you still want another roast. -You look like you are ready to give birth. -"People don't take body shots off you, they take body chugs" -Mama warned you not to swallow the watermelon seeds! -"Blowing up the toilet, maybe." -Holy shit bud -"No amount of black can hide that, don't waste your time." -Good to see Randy finally wearing a shirt -Fat suit with photoshop or ai? -I’m surprised you haven’t been signed to Gymshark yet -"Waddling to the nearest McDonald’s and ordering the entire menu doesn’t count as a gym sesh, bruh. - -😂😂😂" -"OP Posted this in the wrong area and is really trying to come up with a name for his child. -Please contribute some names." -Dude swallowed the Vegas Sphere -"Fat version of Mr Beast, we'll call you Mr Feast" -You blowing up too Nigga -soooo.. inflated to 48psi or there abouts? -So is your gut. -when's the due date -Got nothing to roast a man when he getting his shit together. Keep working them muscles king -Is confidence the same thing as body fat percentage? -Are you blowing up the toilet after a taco bell run? Taco Bell Runs are not actually workouts. -"I see that you're getting in shape, round is a shape." -He broke the “K” on his shirt. -"Well done ohh Mr gym, I bet you won't last two seconds asking for 🍔 and 🥪 😅🤣🤣" -I love how round your tummy is it reminds me of my mums pot😇 -TRUE STORY I KNOW THIS MAN FROM WORK. He has herpes. -we all know you were not at the gym. -Your confidence isn’t the only one -Mpreg artists would love to use you as a reference -"fat skinny, the worst" -You look like how I feel when I have to go to the gym. -Is the new all-you-can-eat-buffet called “Jim?” -You're supposed to bulk AFTER you get to the gym -comment -Seems like she wanted something more long-term. -"When ""I'm a nice guy"" meets ""I told you so.""" -"Well, I guess you go down owning the world record for losing your virginity so young. Life fucked you at birth." -"Who knows, maybe you'll make it and have to continue living. That sounds worse for us." -The crematorium will roast you soon enough -The good part about getting dumped when you’re dying is that you don’t have to worry about being depressed for a long time -Dude identities as an airport terminal. -"We roast but wish you better and happier days. - -👊" -"With all that bad shit going on… your beard still seems strangely aroused at the whole situation. 🤔 - -I’d say chin up… but you can at least check that off your bucket list." -"I don’t give a shit about roasting you… I hope you are able to take in as much love & light as you can before you go. Your worth it, don’t deny yourself of others concern and love! Let your partner go and just selfishly love yourself at all cost! I am in the same boat and I see you… I see you. I hope you’re able to find peace." -"Alright, show us your fedora collection." -Your terminal and your make a wish was to create a post on Reddit?! Dude you need to have a better make a wish. -I’m not sure micropenis made the list of terminal diseases this year -I love how sometimes r/roastme is benevolent when someone is in dire straits but everyone is simultaneously like “fuck that guy” -She didn’t leave you because you were gonna leave her. She left you because you have tiny hands. Better luck on your next life! -You look about 5'10 180...got any old jeans I can take off your hands? Without radioactive diarrhea stains anyway... -"Well, that’s what you get for wearing a v-neck" -You must be a real jump scare without the facial hair. -Your medical fraud is your whole personality. I would dump you too. Get a job you loser. -At least we learned that cancer doesn't target the smart and good-looking people 🤷‍♂️ -Don't worry about being dumped. Alcohol is still your friend. -Hey at least you still have your hai...never mind. -You’re clearly not worth sticking around for the life insurance payout -vin petrol -You should find some other dude with full blown AIDS so you can keep getting laid until one of you dies -"Think of this as good thing, one less mouth to feed at your funeral" -"Terminally ugly, terminally single, terminally alive, but forever a bitch" -God is just trying to end your bloodline and prevent the rest of us from having to see it -You look like somebody that tries to pay parents to let you babysit for them -Convenient cancer cover story for receding hairline. Well played. -Terminal flatulence (TF) is real. -RemindMe! 6 months to roast this guy when he'll never get to read it. -At least you got to meet John Cena -At least you won’t grieve for very long. Neither will your family.. so Win-Win? -"Why do you look freakishly familiar… oh right you look like all my pos exes that I WISH were terminal. -But honestly fuck life in the ass as hard as you can until you get your get out of jail free card. Stay golden pony boy." -Sounds like life was telling her something so she listened -Can I have your beard if you're not needing it anymore? -"Your beard lived a long, full life and made it to old age :) - -The rest of us are all terminal too by the way, you just have less time to hobble around and drool later on." -Well at least you will finally get to improve the world soon. -temu keemstar ? -Chemo Keemstar -Go be with Jesus the Lord. God Bless you. I hope you find peace and are freed of your sins. -Nothing I say is going to out roast the dude doing the cremating here in a little bit -"I mean if a girl doesn’t take you out… something else will, right?…" -"You look like the live action version of Jafar that Disney did, the one that everyone absolutely hated..." -at least you’re terminal… -Your dad is a Schnauzer right? -*dies from an unrelated illness in 40 years* -Looks like your barber was the first to leave -You know you suck when you’ll be dead shortly and you still get dumped. -"Congratulations. You get to quit the game earlier than the rest of us. Of course you got dumped, no woman is going to let you leave her first." -This sucks badly. Please use your time you have left for something better than this. -It'll all be over soon... -Too cute to roast :) -Argggghhh!! The gay Viking. -Clean your nails for fuck sake -"“Terminal”? Like “men’s restroom, any stall, Greyhound bus station terminal”?" -"With enough gel, his beard doubles as a sex toy." -# 34² ? -"that smirk on your face says, i'm getting lucky tonight with a hooker who's got a strap on to fuck me in the ass" -"Beard is on point - -Makes up for your receding hairline" -Quit being clingy to someone who didn't care about you. Just say terminal next time you post -At least our suffering will be over soon -It'll get better... Once you're gone.  -When she said “fuck off and die” she meant it figuratively. -"Don't worry, there's plenty of fish in the sea... and I'm sure there's plenty of ghosts in the graveyard too - best case scenario, you're re-incarnated... worst case scenario, you can haunt that bitches pussy and make her have spooky queefs" -"i would let my bald scalp borrow hair from my beard, if i were you" -Being Tom hanks stuck in a airport isn’t that bad. Shut up. -Terminal what? Terminal stupid face? -"Couldn't even wait for death to do you apart, you must be unbearable!" -"She: ""Sorry, I'm not looking for a short-term relationship""" -Can't you wait until your cremation to get roasted? -At least you're not going bald... Nvm. -Nice handwriting...loser -"You're going to die alone AND poorly dressed. - -(I wish you the best and hope you make it through.)" -I mean life already made you look like keemstar with aids so it’s hard to top that roast -Enjoy your milkshakes and steak and get the Fuck off this planet. The rest will envy you while we suck on smoothies and kale. -"DUDE... This is Mike from the Gym... I cannot believe the News Bro.... Shit Man - -What are you going to do with that cool Blue Jacket....? Can I Have it?" -"Honestly if you have enough money go pay for an orgy with hookers, how much could Syphilis really hurt you at this point." -No need for us to roast you. The fires of hell can do that.🔥 🔥 🔥 -i would write something long but idk if you get to read it tbh -"Don’t be mad at her, she’s just planning ahead." -Now you can jerk off to your heart’s content -"Nah I ain't gonna roast ya, I'll let the radiation do that." -"U got your whole life ahead of you, now get out there and slay sum ass" -How’s your credit? I need you to take out a huge loan and just give it to me -bro looks like a gay hipster magician blacksmith -Looks a member of Hells Little Angels biker day care center! -Great value beer bong John. -You look like daughtry and Coldplay had a neglected child called nawtry noplay -Inbred I see -Terminal at what? Being bad in bed? -No -"Look on the bright side. The girl you love no longer has to fake her orgasms. - -JK. Fuck cancer." -"Cheer up, I'm sure cancer will dump you too" -We're all terminal. Get over yourself. -"I can't roast you, bro. That's the crematorium's job" -Looks like Yzma took another potion. -Reece Whitherspoon stunt double -"I'll write to you when I write every person who has himself roasted .You need to much attention. -Oh yeah and whatever the hell that is hanging from your face .shave it off!" -At least you look like the mess singer of clutch. So that's nice -I'm sure you can beat anything as you beat your dick daily -Terminal? I’m gonna sit this one out.. your ex boyfriend made the right move -I don’t want you to think you didn’t do the world a favor bc you will soon. -You ever played Rachet and Clank? You look like a Temu Captain Quark. -"Chin, life, mood. How can everything about your life go down at that same time?" -At least it’s not the beard that makes you look like a habitual pipe smoker. -Terminal meaning ? Not tryna roast or anything -"Godspeed, brother. I hope you the best on recovery, and that you keep growing the awesome beard." -"Did you get terminal from drinking too much of the ole rotgut moonshine? - -Btw, I hope you enjoy a longer-than-expected time on Earth. Stay positive." -At least he wasn’t after your money! -"I will only say this. -Live as hard as you can with your remaining time. -Burn out every desire and wish you have." -"Damn, It's hard to beat life at fucking people over, but I guess death just jumped your socrates looking ass." -"Honestly, a life in the closet is barely a life at all. Might as well go and die." -You look like a minor character from a storybook illustration of Arabian Nights -You got weird fingernails -You might be an 8/10 but you'll never benign. -"Could you, y’know, die faster?" -"Fuck it sucks you gotta go... remember when death tickles you, dont let it poke your ass..." -I'm sorry -Yo keemstar we found your long lost brother -"Terminal? Oh, you must be a pilot! So, what terminal you flying out of, and when?" -you look like the inbred version of Vsauce. the chin says it all. -You look like Sam Morrill playing the devil -Shouldn’t this be posted in r/cremation? -Terminal what? Pole smoker? -At least you wont have to be sad for that long. -"Have some pity people. The girl left, but the cancer is stuck with him" -The beard sure does look like a terminal illness. -Not a lot of long lives in carnival families. It’s the hands. -U r gonna live and that's sad -You are ballsack. -.!dont remind me 1 year -"So,... the Anton Lavey look doesn't hold them down any more?" -When did sucking dick behind Arby's become a terminal disease? -"You look awful, Keemstar." -U can transplant u hair from bread 🦛 -Pill Anselmo -Why does your face have so many sharp angles -"Reading your replies I feel I actually quite like you. - -Which is something I'm guessing you rarely hear" -Only the good die young. She’s trying to live forever -I thought the cave men died out bru -I hope for you that even cancer will leave you too -I feel bad for your cancer. It has to live in a loser. -"On a long enough timeline, everyone's chances of survival approaches 0.  Here's to you, beating the curve!" -"“Im sorry - your prognosis is bad…” - -“Give it to me straight doc, what is it???” - -“You’ve got a terminal case of……  - - - - -Biatch!!!!l" -You look like the gay biker from The Village People without his sunglasses -Angular ahh -Dang I just want to give you a hug and cry… and I’m a straight male lol. Prayers to you and ya loved ones -You sure you're not 44? You're as grey as Santa. -tell her it's the type that's transmitted sexually -"You look so handsome, your gf went to get a girlfriend" -"When they cremate you, I hope they start with that ridiculous beard" -‘Terminal’ is the word I hope to hear soon cause looking at you makes me want to die -I can’t roast you but I can say I hope you find peace. 🩷 -Keemstar you forgot to dye your beard! -"FYI he’s terminal because he damaged his organs from drinking, while knowingly have a condition that puts his kidneys and liver at extra risk." -"Time to hit the bars with that story, enjoy!" -Bro tryna cover up that Andrew Tate chin -Why everybody keeps saying she left you ?? When your dying face smirk screams addiction to cock...!! -"All I can say is, is that I hope you’re forced to keep living in this not so great world!" -Fight the good fight Voldemort your time ain’t up yet <3 -Guess she doesn't like spoilers -"Not a roast -But being terminal and not having a spouse is actually good. If I was in your shoes. My biggest thing would not be dying but leaving my poor wife to fend for herself." -God obviously does not love you... so there'll be plenty of roastin where you're going. -Godspeed -You got dumped after being told you had a terminal illness? Fuck that’s harsh… guess your relationship had an even worse prognosis. -"On a serious note OP, read the book ""Dying to be me"". And/or ""when the body says no"". Or at least watch the YouTube videos. Hope they help." -"Your only friend, the end." -Apparently dating a carnival barker wasn't what it was cracked up to be. -Brah -Bold move Cotton -"Damn, keemstar, we will remember you 🫡 -Dollar in the woods to pay respects." -Too bad that fine beard will fall out during chemo…. -At least you won't have to worry about it much longer -Why do you kinda look like Nataly nun -"On a long enough time line, everyone's survival rate is 0" -"Mate, even death wants to ghost you early." -You look like a failing magician that interrupts people’s meals on weekends at an Olive Garden. -Damn even your illness wanted to stick around more than your ex -Just think…you don’t need to worry about STDs now. For more than one reason -"Maybe if you had proper nutrition and a better lifestyle, your beard and lifespan would be longer🤷‍♂️🤙" -Sounds like a lucky escape for her. Why drag it out. -I can’t roast you. I can only say a prayer for you. Hugs! -LETS GET RIIIIIGHHHTTTTT IN TO THE NEWWWWWSSS! -If you order Jay Leno from Temu -"Much like you, these jokes will never get old" -"Marlo Thomas looking ass - - -But when you ""make room for daddy"" that's just you doing your anus stretches - - -Wishing peace and serenity for you during your situation 💕" -Roast: You got that nose that asslickers get after a long time of asslicking ( But i guessed you cleaned it 4 the photo). Death sucks... -Has no chin so he grew one -How are we the same age but you look 20 years older than me -I bet you took 999 selfies before finalizing -No roast. May god bless you for eternity ❤️ -"Terminal and terminated. Damn, calll you the terminator" -I would roast you but the chemo beat me to it -❤️ -Discount Babish -"You have a better beard than I do, but I'll still be around to keep trying." -"You're terminal, yes, but are you a positive terminal or a negative terminal?" -I am so sorry. Some people are like that. My dad was. -You look like you're into magic -Temu Keemstar -Talk about a kick in the testicl.....aah -Bye bye loser. -lol -After you’re dead you should haunt the fuck out of that chick. Make groaning noises and bang on the headboard whenever she has sex. -"She wanted a fling, not the rest of someone's life!" -Terminal? Fuck man. Are you about to pass away? I'm sorry to hear that bro. Prayers up 🙏🏿 -"I’ll get to roasting next, but can I just say that beard is strong!" -It’s AIDS…isn’t it? -"The sea is full of fish, but I don’t know if the sky will be too" -"Shouldn't you be asking the undertakers this question? -I'm sure they know their job, but on the off-chance they don't and do you medium rare it's worth checking imo. -Ps. You already look dead, so I'd call them ASAP. Chars" -"I am 7 years older than you, and your girl left you for me because of how much younger I look." -Nobody wanted to fuck you so the devil had to step in -Aaron Goodwin's stunt double -Hang in there brother -"Don't need to roast you, the doctor will get you roasted with all the drugs you get prescribed...." -at least you won’t have to put up with her shit when picking out headstones -Holy shit it’s butcher from the boys -Keemstar looking ass. -you look like if giga chad had hair loss -"I’m sorry roast me, seems to happen to the best people. Maybe that’s Jesus telling you don’t waste the time you have left on half assed committed companionship when you can love the world" -I wish you'll have some good fun and love for the remainder of your time here. Cheers dude💪 -Didnt yo mama taught you not to lie?? Jesus.. -How much cum do you have to put in your beard to make it stay that way? -Send me her contact. I’ll grudge fuck her as hard as life is grudge fucking you -Idk if I’ll have the time to -Did the chemo shrink tour genitals instead of the cancer cells?? -God bless your soul man -rocking that corner table jawline -"Hey man, at least you won’t be missed." -"All that beard oil, and for what?" -ROAST? just be patient. you'll be cremated soon enough... 🔥 -"Should go back to your gf and say “no baby I promise, the old me is dead and gone.”" -Terminal as in dying? Wtf -"I usually don’t comment on these cause it blows my mind people would willingly want to subject themselves to criticism like this. I have no roast but only to say good luck man, a stronger man than I to still be breathing right now." -Can't do it this time. Stay well. Be happy -Get get all the hot hookers now. No reason to be worried with a std. -Your beard looks like you shaved it off the devils ass and glued it to your chin. Hoping for a better diagnosis for you… -Terminal Rob Zombie face? -Hope you find peace brother! -Aren’t the chemicals doing that already? -Life is terminal -Maybe you’ll be resurrected as someone with better hair. -"I would get a second opinion. -Hear are some good Doctors that know what they are doing. -Doctor Joel Wallach sued the FDA 10 times and won -Peter Osborne is the world's leader in nutrition -John Bergman -Barbara O'Neill -Scott Sherr is a chemist and he can tell you about hydroxychloroquine or methylene blue will give you a jump start it increases ATP and clean the mitochondria DNA and much more -Don't stress or worry because Cortisol can be the death of you" -Well she was gonna either dump you while you're Alive or 6 feet underground. By the looks of you she did neither since you're already dead inside enough to make a post on reddit. -Keemstar looking mofo -"When you're ready to give up on life, but your hair quits before you do." -"Don't worry. You couldn't fuck the girl, but life did that to you already." -I'm sorry man I would never abandon somewhen when I'm need the most. Most people just suck...look at the world around us. Hope that you are able to make the most of the time you have my friend -im with you man. i cant roast you. my mom is currently in the icu. terminal. i ask why god but then i see you so young and terminal. i hope you beat it.... i really hope so. never give up -Idk where to start on yo ugly ass😭 -"Really cute - -What kind of cancer if you don’t mind saying" -You look like Joe Manganiello‘s less attractive brother. With one ball. -You look like the friendly neighbourhood mudshark -"Not a roast, but actually a lot of people got remissions due to changing their lifestyle and fixing emotional issues right -Stay strong ❤️" -Im sorry but have you heard of RSO??? RICK SIMPSON OIL. It can do a number on cancer. Google how to make it. I can even help you if you wanna try it.....chk out the internet. -Won’t be alone for long -Chaotic Good KeemStar 💀 -wish you love ! -Even your beard is trying to leave -Captain boot beard -Damn drama alert will never be the same -It’s better understanding you have nothing real than faking something. Go to Thailand and enjoy LadyBugs -"Kratos is upset that you wanted to take his look without the scar. I can hear him now. ""BOY, remove the beard!""" -I see you have that advanced aging disease. -I won’t give you the satisfaction. Kinda like food won’t be providing you sustenance. -"You don't have a chin. -The beard IS THE CHIN" -So was she a easy lay I’m interested because she is going to hell with me hope she is easy and a good fuck -"On the bright side, you wont have to worry about expiration dates on food anymore." -Terminal. But then he'll be embalmed and be dead for ever. -He gave you AIDS and bounced lol -I'm actually kinda jealous. It looks like you can pack your leftovers in that awesome beard! -Bro looks like thanos left ass cheek after he used the stones. -I stage four cancer as well 42 years old…. Guy at work last week said I went thru my midlife crisis 20 years ago lol -"Same thing happened to me but I’m 20 and it continues to happen, with every girl I meet and hit it off with" -"Shouldn’t have said shit and got her pregnant, then just surprised her with your death!" -You look like *KeemStar* -At least you can have more pity sex. -"Terminal like illness or terminal like outside of the bus terminal? I guess good news you’re gonna be checking out faster than your hairline and your ex? - - -On the real though brother, fuck em all, fight to stick around for no other reason than to piss people off." -"You are a pretty good looking dude, I hate you for this!" -"Play the lotto, you might win a million dollars a week for life, you could use that all up in like a year" -"Play the lotto, you might win a million dollars a week for life, you could use that all up in like a year" -"Play the lotto, you might win a million dollars a week for life, you could use that all up in like a year." -I’ll go ahead and roast everybody by reminding you that we’re all actually terminally ill. The illness is called “life” and has a 100% death rate. -Put the brakes on that face though -Brightside is this has got to be the last time you'll be dumped... -" -Must be a fresh breakup,your beard looks like it's still got his spunk in it. - -You should haunt the cold hearted bastard,spunk beard n all." -She wanted long term but on your forehead😟 -"did you tell your barber to give you ""the clone wars dooku"" beard?" -"We all terminal, no one makes it out of this life alive. Stay strong" -Nice Beard -"Shit man. No roast here, just wishing you a better outcome than terminal. - -Enjoy every moment that you have." -Take care sir 🫡 -Look up Darius J Wright on YouTube. He’s an out of body traveler who will help you feel better about everything you are about to experience. He goes into great detail about what we experience on the “other side”. Truly mind blowing ❤️ -"Can't roast you, man. I'm incurable, too. Hope things go better." -Not sure being a loser can be considered terminal -You got 34 more years than you deserved -comment -You both are the second prettiest girl in the trailer park. -"Ironically, the term “big pussy” can be used to describe the both of them." -You compete for the same men -Please Let us know which one is the sister -Only Fams -Kissy faces while the lights are on. Kissy sounds while the lights are off. -"I've seen you guys before... Season 1,Episode 1, of Game of Thrones." -It would be less weird if you just admit you’re banging -Your sister looks like Jeff Spicoli. -Incest is best -What part of Alabama are yall from? -"Wait, you’re siblings or the result of siblings?" -Typical West Virginian newlyweds. -Y’all give a real Lannister vibe. -Looks like they don't hold back on each other. -"When you try to look like Hugh Jackman but look like Hugh Dennis. - -When you try to look like Lucy Boynton but look like Lucius Malfoy" -Who's top and who's bottom -"""Help me bro, I'm stuck!""" -"What in the uncle nephew-son sister-aunt wife weddin, cousin kissin, satellite dish hooked up to the trailer watchin, kool aid mustache wearin , grease savin, frozen pizza roll dinner eatin, five teeth missin, creek water sippin, Daisy Duke wearin’, tobacco dippin, hog callin, dumpster divin, out of toilet paper so I had to use my hand wipin, tractor drivin, truck squattin, catfish sellin, Alligator huntin, Snake boot wearin, cat piss smellin, dog food chompin, square dancin, mullet wearin, country podunk livin, Hee Haw watchin, dixie horn blarin, Yee Yee yellin, Winston cigarette smokin tarnation is going on with you two?" -You look like the meth version of Tom Brady and Gisele. -"They sooo want to read funny posts that don’t really attack their appearance. This to secretly confirm their inflated opinion of themselves. There’s a certain amount of shared sibling approval in their eyes. A kind of, “give it your best shot, but we think we’re hot so good luck with a roast” vibe. Should tell us all we want to know about their character - personalities with the depth of a cookie sheet." -your sister looks like edge and you look like a corner -The eyes says he has been blowing his sisters back doors for at least 7 years -30 and 25? That seems more like the ages of the kids you two had together. -"I would make an incest joke but it’s not a joke, y’all actually fuck." -"Her: bro you’re a real pain in my ass. Him: I’ll -Use more lube next time" -"""help me step brother. I am stuck""" -It looks as if they traded genders. Trans familia -"Mr. Wannabe tough guy and Ms. Duckface showing off the paper towel they used to “cleanup” after both got out of the middle of the circle jerk. That’s right, it’s still clean." -"You both look like your about to share a kiss, which is probably tame compared what you do off camera" -When was the last time you called your sister sexy? -You can't afford paper....? -Does she make that same face when you’re banging her? -"Yall both have the same boyfriend, don’t you? And sister secretly loves it when her bf’s dick tastes like her brothers ass." -Congrats to both of you on your transitions. -Oh shit the siblings form the old Folgers coffee commercial all grown up and still in love ain't that nice -Sister looks at minimum 40 -You guys are hilarious. She’s probably a failed OnlyFans model and you’re her Only Fan. You guys are still in a good mood though because those welfare checks hit your accounts today. -She’s got a bigger Dick -It's bargain-basement Hugh Jackman and Amber Hurd! -I usually skip this part -She looks like she was frozen in ice for 72 hours and your the fake Indiana jones who rescued her -She looks way older then you! -Which ones which? -Alabama in the house -Oh cool it's Amber Heard and the Temu Jon Snow -"Except for the webbed feet, your kids are going to be fairly good looking!" -You used to either be both brothers or both sisters... or maybe you still are both brothers or both sisters. It's difficult to tell. -I would love to run a family tree on them -It looks like she gets more pussy than you do! -Your sister is the lead singer of Silverchair? -Squint a bit and you all look like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen -"You look like the types where when her roommate asks her to clean up one fucking time..... - -Bro douche shows up and says ""Um, can we have a discussion about harassment towards my sister??""" -"25?, she looks like she has considerably more mileage on her than you." -Late congratulation for your wedding! -The one on the right looks like Matt riddle but with me testosterone.  -Which is which? -I think that she wants blow him -What did you name your baby with the crossed eyes and webbed feet? -"It's like the 'Inappropriately Close Siblings Folgers Commercial,' but instead of Folgers it's fentanyl" -Your sister should consider shaving her beard and you look just like the singer from Skid Row -Cersei and Jaime Lannister from Wish. -It’s always nice to see two siblings helping each other through the difficulties of drug addiction. -Yeah they fuckin -"I thought I recognized some incestuous genetics, and there it is!" -She's probably also his aunt and his step-mom -Y’all had to know the incest jokes were coming. This mf look like lord farquaad son. Little sister was 100% a Ho in college or maybe still is. -"Awww, that's cute. You are showing everyone a side by side of your transition from man to woman." -Loved your Folgers commercial -If the Lanisters were from a trailer park -That Folgers coffee commercial vibes are so intense there... -Incest doesn't always work out?!! -does it count as incest if its just pegging? -Pretty rough looking for a 30yo chick -Dollar store Chris Pratt and which Olsen twin is that? -Which one is which -You guys make the Lannister twins look like a normal couple -When you order Logan and Jake Paul on Temu. -"Hey sis, just got back from Africa. Is that Folgers I smell??" -It looks like y’all are in a hospital and just had the baby -Giving Lannister vibes -Was “Sweet Home Alabama” played at y’all’s wedding? -"So, is this your 10th wedding anniversary or 15th?" -You both look so much like your dad -Where's the sister? -She looks like she just gave birth. Congratulations on becoming uncle and aunt to your child! -Siblings or dating? -"Clearly, they bang like screen doors on a mobile home in Alabama in a tornado" -You guys have a younger brother with dwarfism? -When is the wedding? -could you not find a peice of paper -How messed up are your kids ? -Which is which? -PLEASE dont hold back must be a family mantra that started when two cousins decided not to. -"Okay I'll roast you guys, but y'all gotta tell me which one's the sister first so I can do it right" -Your sister looks like a James Franco stand in. -Definitely each others first -So is it the inbreeding that gave her duck face like that? -Scott Weiland and Sebastian Bach are siblings? -"You two are too easy, it’s your flipper armed child that’d be the most fun to roast." -Looks like you help get her unstuck every now and then. -What do your kids look like? -That’s your sister? I thought she was your older brother -y’all’s genes are so cooked I’d rather eat that sad dollar store paper towel than have to know what the two of you smell like -"Just stop! - -That’s how you end up with protective helmet wearing family vines, instead of robust family trees." -You both look like each of you knows what your step-dad’s penis tastes like. -Poor man’s Aidan Quinn and Katee Sackoff -Sister wife -I feel like I’d see you two on that “Siblings or Dating” trend and the answer would be “both” -Him: sis I need a promotion. Can you suck off my boss. Her: only if you peg him while I’m doing it -"They have an OnlyFans, but the only subscribers are their parents." -Belanjo.plays.. -Always Sunny in Tuscaloosa -Y’all look like y’all parents related. -Katee Crackoff -"Your sister looks like she is debating the age-old question: - -should she spit or swallow?" -She looks like she just got done brushing her remaining tooth with your dick. -"If your parents divorce, are they still considered brother and sister in Alabama?" -Which one has the tramp stamp that says incest is best? -"Y'all have a pact to marry each other thirty years from now, if you're both single." -"""Just because""" -If it's a family roast then why didn't you include your kids?... -"Hey look, it’s Splint Westwood and Dana Pee Rot" -West Virginia walmarts Jamie and cersei lannister. -Rolltide! -"If she ain't good enough for family, she ain't no good at all" -"Alabama or Utah, can't figure it out." -"I bet she calls you ""Daddy.""" -Sweet Home Alabama -its an alternate universe where family dollar wolverine meets dollar tree sebastian bach -What did y’all do with that napkin after this picture? -“Sister” -Who is who -"Hillbilly Virgin: A girl that can outrun her brothers. -OP: The marathon winner 🥇" -When you get a copy of Battlestar Galactica from Temu these two play Starbuck and Apollo. -Her hand and face position haven't changed since before his pants were hurriedly zipped up. Why wouldn't you wait until after you shower to take a photo? -"You look like a Temu version of WhistlinDiesel if they gave up halfway through, whilst she looks like every ""Blonde step-sister"" on Pornhub but the resolution is stuck on 144p." -Roll Tide amirite -tell me y'all fuck without telling me -*sister-wife and I -You look like several different generations of the same family. -"Holding back seems to be your problem. Is mom involved, too? -Wait, are you the reddit legend with the two broken arms?" -You guys look like you 69 regularly -Which one is the sister? -They definitely fuckin. -But why did you upload a Pic of some douche bag with Sebastian Bac from Skid Row? -Please don't include pictures of your deformed children  -I thought this was r/siblingsordating for a sec -"Damn! Look like Hanson tryna make a comeback. For the record, the chick on the right has her hand in position for some great photoshop potential. You guys look like the kind of siblings who have an OF together. You’d both do better on OnlyTrans." -You look like the a Romanian remake of A Star is Born -Are you using that paper towel to wipe her pussy with after you’ve finished fucking -"You two look like you recreate a ""certain"" 80s coffee commercial every Christmas and have to be separated by a water hose!" -You look like children of brother and sister. -Trans -So you guys at the clinic to found out the sex of the baby or to abort? -Why was this taken in a planned parenthood waiting room? -Nice of you and you and your sister wife or is it Frank -Which one is which? -Which one's the sister? -Ahhh those after sex pics… -"You look as if someone tried to draw Hugh Jackman from memory, and your sister looks like her whole personality is Lululemon" -Your mom & dad are related -Your sister looks part Neanderthal -"Crazy, I thought they didn't allow phones in a rehab facility?" -Who's who 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️ -Sister? -So which one of you gets “stuck”? -Which one is your sister? -Ben Affleck and Sebastian Bach from Temu -Last name is probably Lannister. -Which one is which? -Arkansas finest -Which ones the sister? -"The youngest you’re allowed to be with is half your age + 7 years, so you’re in the clear!" -Tell me you smoke meth with your sister without telling me you smoke meth with your sister. -Knew it’d be incest jokes before reading the comment 😹😹 -Clint Eastwouldn't -I’m glad you are keeping it in the family… -That's not the first nor the last nasty thing you convinced your Bro-sister to do. Never heard of a transinsest fetishist but man... your family tree must look like a stick. -The face of a guy about to get pegged by his sister. -Legit the ones that tune at the family function and everything is awkward because you two got engaged -“Modern” country music at its finest… -"Yeah, your ""sister""" -We can see a little bit of you in her. Just like dad -Damn the Incest is 🔥lit. Truth out of comedy. I know these peoples browser history 👇👇👇 -If unseasoned gringo food was a married couple... -"""Help step brother ! I'm stuck !""" -So this is what co-living looks like with a sibling: almost definitely incestuous and too poor to find anything to write on other than a napkin with a pencil? -This is everything Deb wanted with Dexter. -Meth -Why you look younger than her tho -Which is the brother and which is the sister? -Your sister??? I actually thought she was a dude!!! -You look like if Tom Brady had an extra chromosome -"“I want Sierra Ferrell and Whistlin Diesel.” - -“We have Sierra and Whistlin at home.”" -V.C. Andrew’s next book cover -"Alabamas a place, you know." -"Ok, but can you tell me which one is which first?" -Which is which? -"no wonder you’re doing this with your sister. i can’t imagine any other woman being able to handle that thousand yard stare. where are you looking, the galactic expanses? 😭" -You two are Eskimo siblings to your father -That’s your sister? I thought it was Glenn Frey. -Can’t afford paper -Can’t afford paper -Kira Knightley and Orlando Bloom characters after they escaped the Pirates of the Caribbean universe. -Which one is which? -I could swear I've seen your sister before. Does she know silent bob? -You look like a young wolverine. Show off. -That chick is a dude -That's 2 boys in the pic -You’re holding that napkin like the Queen Mum holds her tea cup. Daintily. -She gonna kiss you? -Your sister looking like David Lee Roth. -Sister has a fuller beard. -"Three words -Sweet -Home -Alabama" -Which one is the sister? -So when is she due? -At least if you break up you can still remain siblings -Incest is best -Nothing like getting blown by your sister hey Hank? -Which is witch? -He’s caught her stuck in the dryer on more than one occasion -"Ah yes, a birthing suit selfie somewhere in WV awaiting their first child!" -Jamie and Cersei after going to rehab for meth -Her cock is bigger than yours -"They have super powers, they are the Unfuckables!" -I’m impressed you’re mom and her brother were able to have two that quick without being caught -Bet your dad wonders why the sister has short hair and the brother has long hair -Arkansas wedding picture? -Did anyone say Sweet Home Alabama yet? I'm going with that. -That is the only pootie-tang that dude is ever going to land -trailer park stories on netflix -The way y'all pose waiting on your dad and uncle to pass the two of you back and forth is such a wholesome moment of your family history. -Zero chance they have not fucked. -"When the meth lab blows up and takes out half the block, but you're the only two burnouts the cops couldn't pin anything on." -What do your kids look like? -Look like real life Lannisters -Sweet home Alabama!!!! -My ten year old says he knows that guy kissed his sisters no no square and then made throw up noises and ran out of the room. -Yeah agreeing to be roasted definitely isn’t the most risky thing you’ve done together -Why are you writing on a paper towel? Have you used paper before to write on? -Which ones the chick? -"If your porch collapses 7 dogs will die, y'all still got Christmas ornaments up_you know you're a redneck when you say this is my sister and wife" -You can be sure your Dad wishes he held back. -Siblings or dating? -So do yall do Crack or heroin?? -Are your parents brother and sister as well? -Step sis? 😬😅 -you guys have real incest vibes. -Are we sure that’s a girl? -"If the tv show “Shameless” had real life characters, you guys would definitely be it" -Keeping it the family I see. -Writing on a paper towel is a clear sign that there is nothing interesting about either of you. -Were your parents also brother and sister? -Your sister looks like Sebastian Bach if he made worse life choices. -Your face remember me a Mr.Candie in Django screaming : “WHERE IS MY ******** SISTEEER” -So you've got kitchen roll in your printer and use paper to clean spills it seems like XD -Which one of you is which? -Joosh? Is that you? -"Your sister looks 45 years old…not even a roast, just an observation." -"Tell your sister she needs a shave. - - -....oh....wait...." -Y’all are crackheads who have secret tickle time -Groped all her friends while they slept at her sleep-over parties and she fucked all his friend at his. -Sweet home Alabama 🎵🎵🎶 -Is this the pic you take when you successfully get your sister unstuck from the dryer? -you look like two drunk homeless people who broke into a house -You're facial hair is facked forreal don't watch anymore Wolverine movies -When you get friend zoned so hard you get the final upgrade from like a brother to actually being.her brother. -How long have you been sleeping together? -The average Alabama couple -Which one is the sister? -Which is which… in today’s world a totally valid question! -"It looks like a casting call for Yellowstone, redneck husband and wife, “We need the hyper strict, always running a scheme ex-marine and his coked out of her skull, but always fresh outta the shower, bartender wife.”" -"""Sister""" -Taking your Sister to Prom does not make you a Chad. -Couch surfer posing with Blue steel + methadone clinic girl posing with duckface. -"Must be from the deep south with his ""sister"" making those kissy lips at him..." -"Jesus Christ, what have I walked into? You two aren't having sex together?" -"At the abortion clinic: “I’m telling ya sis, someday we’re gonna look back at our -‘oopsie’ and laugh.”" -Which one is which?? -I see that your parents were also brother and sister. -Is your sister trans? -This hills have incest -"You look like you slap her and she looks like she enjoys it while calling you daddy. - -You two could start your own onlyfans." -Weird Metallica photoshoot. -That paper towel looks pretty sticky… -no offence but it Rly looks like 2 men -comment -You’re so thin African kids send you money -The abs say awesome the arms say Auschwitz -You're built like a cinnamon twist. -I can’t tell if you are strong or weak -Ah it's our favourite marathon runner: Ann O'rexic -Starvation isnt muscle -That nose can smell colors -It looks like you want someone to throw you a sock to set you free. -An ironing board with two eggs on top has a better rack than you. -Future note to others: Avoid India for trans surgery and medication. -You know you're skinny when the only body part that retains any fat at all is the end of your nose. -This is not what they mean when your girlfriends say they are getting boned -I don’t have anything half as creative as 21 F. -"Sign should read ‘Roast me… a chicken, I’m starvin’." -Turn sideways and you’ll disappear. -"Holy shit it’s skeletor! - -Your dad isn’t the only thing missing in your life, you need to find a snickers." -I can see you been busy with a razor on your underarm but your shoulders still need some work -Body by meth -Wow. I’ve never seen anyone that skinny with a nose that can smell food from a mile away. -You look like you smell of onion -"4% body fat, it’s all in her nose 👃" -You’re built like the cover of a Grateful Dead album. -You could pass out drunk in a sex offender group home and you would wake up still fully clothed with a blanket over you. -Washboard abs and two Tide pods for titties. -*in the arms of the angels playing* for just 25 cents a day you can feed this child and so many others like them. -Wrong sub reddit. The Sally Struthers sub is over at South Park -Bobblehead -Did your face visit your body while it was in rehab? -"Having sex with you is like ranking homer simpsons bosses, burns to smithers" -Too bad your nose can't take part in your eating disorder. -I've never seen an exercise bra fit loosely on someone before. -Eat -Holy fuck! Diana ross with AIDS -I feel like you're posting this in the hopes that someone will sponsor you for just the price of a cup of coffee per day. -Allah snack bar everyone -"I like skinny girls, but damn, you're a walking bag of bones in a padded bra." -"You do not do lines with that nose, you do paragraphs." -I’m proud of you for finding the strength to hold your phone that high. AND a piece of paper? You been working out? -I’ve seen more meat on a butchers pencil -You look like a Mrs. Potato Head that got put together by 3 different preschoolers. -Leave this young man alone -You have to eat more than just cum -Didnt know that the ladyboys had a “sale” section -You look like an anorexic UFC fighter that's taken a few hits. -For 50 cents a day you can feed this they/them -"Do you have a twin? - -Just might explain how it looks like your twin grabbed all the nutrients and the best genes while you got what was left over." -Look at me. I'm the roastee now. -You have an eating disorder and need help. Get the fuck off Reddit and get therapy you dumbass. -"Weird, most men who transition are fat as shit." -Lead actress for the woke reboot of The Machinist -DEI Skeletor -"You have a weight problem.  - - -It's not physical, it's mentally.  - - -Ya might wanna have a pork chop or two. " -Looks like you have a third nipple on your shoulder -Is that your twin coming out of your shoulder? -Just so you know: No amount of anorexia will make your nose smaller. Might want to consider eating again. -They say words can't break bones like sticks but I doubt they saw anyone as malnourished as you while coming up with that rhyme. -The second & (much) less used definition of Top Heavy -You have a five-head and a six-nose -Anorexia does not equal fitness -Roast your self a meal you skinny bitch. -"Mr. Potato Head called, he wants his fuck’n nose back!" -That’s not a nose. It’s a snout. -Did you leave your tits in your other shirt? -#eugeniacooneyvibes -Ur not foolin’ anyone. U got a lil banana down there 👇 -Thanks to UNICEF for the roastees! -"I would eat you out, if there was something to eat" -Ooooof…. Just ooooof dude. -Your nose is bigger than your shoulder. -You might aswell take your shirt off since you have no tits -Does all your weight go to your nose? -Good job on your pecs bro! -You look like Usain Bolt’s poop -You’d probably be a decent looking dude if you got a nose job 🤷🏻‍♂️ -I just see Barack Obama. -I didn’t know brown people were in Auschwitz -Eat a sammich for fucks sake. -Your shoulder looks like there's a fetus' face trying to push through the skin -How the hell is your nose bigger than your arm? -"Skipped shoulder day, but hasn’t missed a nose day in years." -You look like an anorexic Mrs. Potato Head who's on crack. -You look like I can play the xylophone using your rib cage. -Do you work out to slim down that bulbous nose? -I thought oj died last week -"Not sure how a burlap sack full of antlers managed to get such a huge nose, yet here you are." -"You're trapped in a little man's body, but yet again you look like a grown ass man, a transgender" -"When you are trying to lose weight, but you hold fat in your nose...." -"Your face says 21, but your arms say 91." -They do a lot of fuckin situps in those terrorist federal prisons -"Fuck me. Anorexia with a transplanted bobble head. - -Trans action man has bigger and better tits and looks more like a woman." -Get fed. -"Come on, Bro. Weird camera angle isn’t fully covering that Adam’s apple shave down scar." -What's the sports bra for? -Pointy Sister -"Fine... we get it... YOU'RE the captain now. -Damned Somali pirates." -Why does your shoulder look AI generated -You’re the reason for Unisef in elementary schools -Are you Zendaya's bulimic little brother? -You look like a ninja turtle out of its shell -Large nose bitch -More meat on an x-ray -You look like a chubby stick figure. -"Yo girl,eat a sandwich or two." -Guys I don't think we should roast her she clearly has an eating disorder :( -"I'd fuck you, but I don't want to impale my dick on your spine." -get some protein -Get a sandwich -I tend to just eat my food -"You know what they say, a sandwich a day keeps anorexia away." -"First off, WOULD… but I know there’s a cock in those Lululemons" -"Anorexia is no joke, people." -You know what it means when a man looks deep in your eyes? It means your flat chested. -do you eat? -Damn girl you need to throw several cheeseburgers down your throat. You’re all skin and bone 🦴 -"In the old days, your condition was termed wasting." -Does she nose she is too skinny? -"Eww, an outie." -I really liked you in the Crying Game -Your belly button is weird looking. -"I've never seen someone with a nose bigger than their bicep. - -I've never seen someone with a nose bigger than their tits." -Sally Struthers implores you to donate $5/ month to feed this child....thats less than the price of a cup of coffee. -F ? -"I see you have a problem with excessive hair. I can’t figure out if that question mark shaped fold on your belly button is twisted up pubes or if in fact it’s posing the question: “if I throw up ice cream quickly after eating, is it still cold?”" -Oof. You get that gender reassignment surgery in your home country of India? Poor guy. -Sarah Jessica Parker if she was indian and ravaged by starvation. -"This is a completely new species. I mean, Her nose is wider than her arms.. wtf?" -"The problem you weirdos don’t get is that unless you’re born with a vagina, you’re never gonna be an actual woman." -Someone is being a bit ridiculous with those sliders in the character customization screen. -"For just two dollars a day, you too can sponsor a starving... Oh wait wrong sub" -You look like when shrek turns into a human but if he was a girl -Further proof of how dire the humanitarian situation in Gaza is -I bet 20 dollars that your head is heavier than the rest of your body. -You look like the nerdy STEM girl that got interested in working out. -You look like a human version of Dory from finding nemo -A rare Auschwitz Sasquatch! -They really are starving in gaza -"The face of a 20-30 year old, the muscles of a very healthy 60-70 year old" -Barack Omama -Diversity hire for a Tim Burton movie. -You look 40 -"Try ""broth me"" - - -Nothing to roast" -He-Man’s still pissed at you for trying to break in to castle Greyskull . -"A horse is a horse, of course, of course." -I would… but there ain’t enough meat on the bone to make it worth my time to cook your bony ass -What is Bozo from Enders Game doing on here? -There's not much to roast...might need to order a side -There is not enough meat to roast. -"If I had to buy a flat, I'd not buy this one..." -Just because your ancestors survived famines doesn't mean you need to look like them -Transgender Barack Ohhhbama! -"For 12 cents a day, you can sponsor this child" -You want us to be creative. When you're obviously not creative. Do your parents know how much of a waste you are? -"Medical roast: - -It seems you might have lanugo on your arms. It's a symtom of lack of fat in the nutrition. Wich could be from an eating disorder such as anorexia, orthorexia or veganism. -Please take care of yourself." -What's more attractive than a female with shoulder hair -Your bellybutton says you’re from the House of El on Krypton -Can’t bring her around dogs because they may think her arm is a bone to gnaw on -"When you give head, it counts as anal" -Weird al? -"How the fuck does that body, hold THAT nose?" -"You're pissed off because you found out ""Nair"" is allergic to you." -It looks like you had shoulder replacement surgery but instead of a new shoulder they just put in a fist. -Your nose looks lik it was hit by a frying pan -Not enough meat on the bones for a roast. -She just stares into all of our souls as she watches us type the roast lmao- -"Bro, get some Rogaine" -80 lbs; 40 of it is nose.. -How are you supposed to get roasted if you have no meat on those bones? -Does creative mean I can’t say anything about a Minecraft skeleton? -"BrB, I'm going to roast you a chicken." -Lookin like a concentration camp survivor - Just grab the striped outfit for Halloween and you're set. -Are you lost Ethiopia is the other way -"I know it’s early in your transition, but you still look masculine. Maybe have your doctor up the estrogen and give you a referral to a shrink for anorexia." -You look like an Egyptian mummy that's been rehydrated -Belly button has a camel toe -You look like a swizzle stick -Mordor thanks you for your service. -Looks like you won a tapeworm challenge. -"You took this using the fish eye effect, right?" -"Damn, your one missed meal from organ failure." -First time seeing -A Cups. -Cant tell of thats your arm of a selfie stick -Looks like ISIS is cutting back on meals. -"If ""can you spare some change please?"" was a person" -Seen more meat on my elbow -MTF or FTM not sure on this one. A real Bangkok Mystery! -Your so thin my fat ass could snap your spine by sitting on you. -Sleeping beauty coulda used her shoulder as a substitute for that spinning wheel. -"7 days without a meal makes one weeeeak, holy shit eat something please!" -"Boring background, no profile info(not even an only fans link, which makes sense), and no bio in your roast. It really seems like you want people to make fun of your nose, but I'm just wondering if you really can grind meat on those abs. - -Fr, though, hope you're ok" -That time AIDS took a shower. -Your nose is wider than your arms... -"You look like you get in the back a ""free candy"" van and actually get free candy." -Your nose has got more muscle mass than your arms -You forget to feed your arms? -If gas-weight was a real weight class... -Skeletors gf -You misspelled 12 -I thought this post was to raise awareness about starving people in Gaza -Is that your bellybutton or do you have used condom tucked in there? -She makes anorexic women blush -"Jesus fuck, man... if you looked any more like a monkey, Freiza would be entering the chat" -Did you get those abs from your bulimia? -"The abs say let's go -The protruding humerus says hell no" -Cheeseburger...insert 10 to level up -Wrong sub. r/stimulants is that way ---> -"Get creative? - -Someone should get you a sandwich. - -The only roast you should be concerned about is getting some to eat." -Loved your work in the Last of Us. The zombie makeup covered you up real good but the anorexia was a dead giveaway -Finally I can see who I’ve been feeding for a dollar a day -“Sleepaway Camp V - East LA” -Why should I when you look like a default preset from Skyrim? -You look like if pocky sticks were a person -"Eat somethin, you look unhealthy as fuck." -Those abs could grate cheese......which you could probably find in your genital area -You were great in *I am Legend* -"When you’re taking a shower, how often do you slip and fall down the drain? Is it just the size of your head that keeps you from falling in all the way?" -Liposuction gone too far I’m afraid -Your phone holder looks kinda stale. It’s about to break -I was told they'd feed those starving children with the money I sent. Suzanne Sommers lied to us. -how did she get out of her grave? -You look like you’re about to lecture us all on the health benefits of being vegan  from your hospital bed while getting treated for being malnourished.  -"You should use the razor to shave your arm, instead of cutting it..." -Eat a sandwich -you were REALLY excited to get that sock from Lucius Malfoy -Not going to dis as I love chicken wings... -"I am really raw from the effort but I rubbed one out to you so all these comments didn’t hurt your feelings as bad. -Oh and I had to look at a picture of someone else" -Hows that aids going for you? -For just 18 cents a day you can feed this child -Why are you hunger striking? -"Crazy eyes, crazy eyes" -#You can't roast bones. There is no meat there! 😅🤣😂 -I have a sandwich -"~~Abs~~ (stomach definition?) says she might work out, arms say she can't afford to eat. Probably no motor in the back of this Honda-ran" -You can’t be roasted. Zero meat on the bone. -Her abs are bigger than her tits -We'll have to get creative because I'm sure you've heard it all by now. -Bulimia is not good. -What about a good souper without some greens with no taste -Holy Auschwitz -I've never seen anybody with abs on their chest before. -There's chesthair on your arm. -Having sex with you sounds like fighting off skeletons in Minecraft -"Are we roasting you, or the small person attempting to birth itself from your shoulder??" -your shoulders are screaming for help -"You can put your dick in her soft, then let it get hard and listen to her ribs crack" -"If you avoid food like you did, it is a quite effective way to avoid pregnancy. - -But from my point I’m f view there are two problems: - -1. who wants to fuck a skeleton? -2. you are going to die!" -"The only thing you should be getting roasted is a cheeseburger. Eat something, woman" -I can see your inside. Literally .. -"Hey, I thought we ALL agreed to not talk about Bruno?" -Getting a bit chubby go thrown up again -The only thing not anorexic is the tip of your nose. -Skeletor trying on skin for Halloween  -You should probably eat -You look like an F5 Ferengi. -"Get creative, get a burger." -Look. Look. You’re the captain now. -You got abs doing sit-ups with the extra weight your nose gives you -Your nostrils are probably the biggest orifice on your entire body. -Nice 10 pack -"The Goddess Parvati skipped you, but Jyestha didn't." -You make me want to send money to Ethiopia to help starving kids. -Somebody give up one cup of coffee a day and help this girl out! -Nice belly taijitu -Bet you wear makeup to the gym. -Why your head shaped like an almond and why do you look like a milk dud -Angela Hill if she started shooting tranq on Kensington Ave -Eat some sam-itches -Hey it escaped that commercial about starving kids!! Quick some lure it back with false promises of food and water! -You like shooting arrows into Minecraft Steve -Eat more. -Draugr lookin ahh -The face you make when your nose is bigger than your tits. -Your right arm looks like the small bone in a chicken wing flat. -The poster child for gymarexia. -When you’re so skinny Ethiopian kids offer you their meal -You couldn’t get laid in prison -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->Mmmm actually maybe don’t post that my coworkers might see it lol - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Glad to see Richard Ramirez is finally getting the HRT he desperately needed. -You look like they would’ve burned you at the stake 300 years ago -"I can just tell you wear no deodorant or perfume, I can smell you from behind the screen" -That nose finished its therapy session 20 minutes before you entered the room -My mind is telling me no...but my body is telling me yeah no as well. -NSFW: Not Suitable For Wanking. -Didn't even bother zooming in. -I didn't know they gave Prozac to ostriches -Your titties look more depressed than you. -"Your nose is bigger than one of your titties, and the other titty looks like it consumed another titty. If they all teamed up you could have an OnlyFans that accepted EBT." -"Your therapist is unethical, browses this sub, and wants to see you naked" -Flat chested pale chicken -You look like a pick pocket who smells like onions. -you look like a siamese cat in witness protection -I loved you as the night stalker -I feel like you need a new therapist if they actually recommended this. -"I hope your therapist's therapist gets paid enough to deal with your bullshit. Because we all know your therapist is hanging on by a thread if she thinks bangs and posting a photo that I can only describe as ""attempt at a sexy war refugee, but somehow worse than intended""." -If unenthusiastic handjob had a face. -We all zoomed in and came away disappointed. Just like your parents. -Lezmerelda the lesbian fortune teller -"That fifth picture is just 👌 - -Much more effective than taking a cold shower." -"The only woman who won't tell people, ""My face is up here""." -"Idk what’s worst, the nose as big as a whale’s dick, or the nonexistent torso properties" -Do your tits communicate via US mail as they look like they are in different zip codes. -You look like the girl Sid likes in Ice age -I'm not convinced you have teeth -USA about to invade your face for oil reserves. -You’re so anorexic you probably use a band aid for a Maxi pad. -Your cheeks are more perky than your titties. -Did meth take your teeth along with your self esteem? -How’s Night Stalking treating you? -Your coworkers are seeing EVERYTHING with that hairline of yours -Is there even a single tooth in that mouth? -That nose is bigger than my penis. -I see Quentin Tarantino’s transition is coming on great. You are definitely inglorious. -You look like you were drawn by Napoleon Dynamite. -You look like Moe Szyslak -Is your therapist Dustin from Stranger Things? -You look like you're transitioning into Corey Feldman -I can see why you need a therapist -Do you have any teeth in your mouth? -"I’ve been wondering what happened to Frank Zappa, found him!!! - -BTW, not all therapists get straight A’s." -Third pic is you noticing a stinky scent. Last pic is you realizing it was your upper lip this whole time -Thanks for helping me realize I’m asexual -You definitely go ass to mouth on the first date. -I've pulled more attractive clumps of hair and grease out of my shower drain. -Rosa Diaz from Wish.com - i see this photo and i feel like feeding my phone bread -Quentin Tarantinho -"Your therapist: most of my patients I tell them to get banged. Best you can do is, get bangs" -Anymore bald you will be on make a wish poster. -It must be so maddening to be *almost* pretty. -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->-I’m not physically or mentally well ->-I feel like I’m going to get fired ->-I like to paint and sculpt but don’t do it enough cause I can’t get out of bed ->-I’m a lesbian artist that has fucked up hands ->-I have tendinitis in my ankle, a sprained acl, and a crushed nerve so I can’t even exercise ->-my last two apartments have poisoned me and I’m stuck in this lease ->-this is my 7th (?) time posting on this subreddit and I’m not sure why I like it so much ->-I’m demisexual and use sex to cope which is not a good combo when I’m single ->-I went on 14 first dates last year and feel incapable of connecting to anyone ->-I’m baring my soul on Reddit even tho ppl I know might see this - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Only bang you will ever have -"I would roast her, but I'm afraid she might turn me into a toad!" -WIsh.com Winona Ryder. -"Looks like someone put heat shrink over a dirty mop. Also your therapist is a moron, bangs are stupid and so are you." -you the type to bark at me in public -Pic 4 looks like the last prostitute left in the saloon at 3am. -You look like a gypsy that has to work in construction to make ends meet -Doggystyle for life with you -"You are truly, genuinely unattractive. Like not even as a joke or part of the “roast me” thing. Like you are very, very bad looking." -Zoe Deschanel if she tried fentanyl. -You look like a dog sitter -Nice transition -Hello bulimic Leslie Winkle -You have the smile of a grandma with no teeths lol 🤣 -I can’t decide if you’re hot or not and that makes me mad -Hope your self esteem grows as big as your nose -You’re so hot -You look like a depressed triangle with autism -"Have you ever considered breathing exercises to cope? - -What am I saying, with a nose like that you must suck up all the good energy in a 3 block radius." -"You are very beautiful, for a man." -You look like you're balding despite using bangs to hide it -"I’m not saying I wouldn’t, I’d just keep the light out" -You look like a drugged out Drea de Matteo half way through a vampire transformation -Two fried eggs and frizz please. -Do small and they aren't even perky . -Glad to see the skinny kid from road trip coming out as trans. More power to you! -You look like one of those annoying fake vegan lesbian edge lord types who thinks her choices are the only right ones and everyone should be gay vegans or they're part of the problem with society. -What does the therapist say about a nose job. -"Not getting bangs, she said getting banged! Good luck!" -Were you the virgin or the veteran I forget? either way thank you for your service! -Why your eyes so long? Bro looks like sid with a human face shape. -Hi (louder than everyone else) -"I’ve never seen anyone who’s own eyes we’re so far apart, they’re actually able to check on the inside of their ears." -You look like a lot of the metalheads I grew up with. They were great guys. -Sid the sloth lookin ass. Your eyes are so far apart you have a family of four living between them -"Your therapist needs a therapist, a hairstylist, and a 4L box of wine" -Have you considered soap as a coping mechanism? -You're in my league. -Romanian Aileen Wuornos -Your nose arrives in a room 5 minutes before you do -There's a spot open in the nose job reddit... just in case you were wondering. -Bangs are awful. Cope with that -Idk why but you look like you bath in apple cider vinegar but reek of onion and furry suit stench. -"Learn how to contour your nose, I can’t unsee that fugly thing" -Yoy look like you're halfway through transitioning from hot girl summer to lady boy express. -Tell your tits to dress modestly -Squidward went through puberty -I’m vegan and I wouldn’t eat you. -"If I saw you at night, I would think I made first contact with aliens 👽" -Noticed ya don’t show your teeth or do they just exist in your massive nose ? -Definitely living that cat life -Getting a lint roller would be better… -Almost made the cast of Cats but…the nose -Meh. If you wanted real results you should've gone for the full shave. It really works. Just ask Britney. -You need to grow your bangs super long in the front like the girl in the ring -Bangarang - Skrillex -"I think your therapist meant “banged”, not bangs”. Anyway, good luck with that." -14 first dates...ya don't say? Are you counting the ones that noped out as soon as you sat down? -If Richard Nixon and Cleopatra had a child -Your own father declined you when you got bought to him. -Who’s your doctor? I have a friend interested in transitioning and yours is one of the best I’ve seen. -You’re gonna have to have a new coping mechanism due to that fact those bangs exist in the first place -The kind of person who deletes this because of way too many accurate comments. -One look at you and I'm already sick of hearing about the phase of jupiter -Well she was wrong about the fucking bangs. -Dilbert lookin ass -McPoyle sister IRL -Using shampoo is a great coping mechanism for the all the grease in your hair. -"The less clothes you wear and the less attractive you are, so I would suggest to maximize your looks with a burqa." -Looks like you need a new therapist -Tucan Sam mid-transition. -Retreat!!!! -Imagine having a nose that big and tiddies that small -She's done this like 7-8 times already. Someone needs attention. -Homeaglow may be only $19 but they're a crappy choice for therapy  -Ganondorf -They make tops for flat boards? -If by therapist you mean your slumlord you rent from and “bangs” is just his fat ass fucking you so you don’t have to pay rent then sure. -Enough oil on that forehead for America to invade. Flatter than my day old soda. -"Some body's been playing in the gene machine again who decided to mix Bruce Lee and Celine Dion; and didn't wash the damn tray out!! - -Fuck guys! C'mon we can get fined for this shit! Go get the wranglers and bring it back to the lab immediately!" -Bangs or banged? -"Tits go east and west, but the nose goes all over the goddamn place." -Only the shittiest of therapists would recommend posting on Reddit to cure anything...To think these people get paid for that kind of advice. -Only the shittiest of therapists would recommend posting on Reddit to cure anything...To think these people get paid for that kind of advice. -How do you go from looking like a diseased whore elf to Jeff Spicolli? -What’s your poison of choice ? Be honest . -OP decided mid transition that he/she wanted to be a feral cat instead. -"Millie ""Smellie"" Brown" -Did your mother have a one night stand with Snoop Dogg? -You look like the lesbian version of a dirty plumber -You look like five of the Stranger Things kids thrown into a blender. -How big is your cock? -Should have left the hair in not sure why u wanted to draw attention to ur face. -You really rocking that “passable” trans-woman look -In that fifth picture you look like Tom Holland if he had a sex change. -That forehead needs a coping saw. -Mother Scoby -"Oh fuck no a haircut ain’t gonna fix that! -Species reassignment isn’t gonna fix that. -Just give up, get that welfare check and start raising cats." -So instead you just grew a mullet. -"I've seen dry chicken with no seasoning and visciously rubbed against a plate with more charecter in its looks than you, and your hair looks like you connected your grandads wilting pubic hair to your fake scalp with lego technic pins" -Human cockroach 🪳? -I feel scarred for life by your 4th pic. It should come with a cautionary warning. -"By ""this"" you mean a nose reduction surgery, right?" -Why are your eyebrows fading into obscurity?? -sorry but nothing will hide that big ass nose -You misunderstood….. your therapist said the only thing you are good for is a bang in the ass -I would be coping too if I saw that in the mirror -Looking like Tom Holland in the movie where he gets buttfucked -Karl Malden wants his nose back. -Why do you look like a Egyptian cat? -I can't tell if you're sneering or smiling. -Shouldn’t that nose be attached to a fake mustache and glasses? -Did your therapist tell you that you look like the night stalker? -Guess your therapist does fotoshootings ang night outs too -NSFW why? -Is “this” transition surgery? -Look at that trunk! -Those saggadoos aren't coping with gravity -Dude you need a way better therapist -Fire your therapist -"You and your therapist must be vampires. - -You have zero self reflection" -She drinks and she blows things. -Are just mad that you have chasing your brother Ferris all over town? -Mix meth and ethanol and you’re a regular Ricky Martin… hard pass. -You look like you think this post will make you relevant to people in your everyday life who try their best to avoid you at all costs. -Lookin like Alice the Goon from the old Popeye cartoons -"You're 20, but your tits are going on 80" -you look like the docter pulled on your head when your mom was giving birth -You look like you can smell what the rock was cookin last week -"You know therapists just tell you what you want to hear, right?" -You not slick X-Pac -A little less makeup. Said nobody. Ever. -Thought this was r/teenagers also that nose of yours looks like someone changed the proportions on your face with 2.5:1 -"In this case, your therapist should win a Darwin Award. Learn to eyebrow, makeup and get ya hair did. Someone will be knocking down the door to give you a facial and leave you. 😘" -How is your nose bigger than your tits? -"Recently fired from Olive Garden, can’t function without a cocktail of benzos and adderall" -Good thing the therapist mentioned bangs. That five-head could blind someone. -Go back to doing drugs. I bet you were a lot less insufferable then. -You look like someone that would fake a pregnancy to split up a marriage. -"Is your therapist your cat? -It’s your cat isn’t it?" -If Slash were an unenthusiastic twink with no friends and poor taste in clothing -Happy belated trans visibility day -I bet your vagina smells and tastes like tofu -you therapist should light a flash bang in front of your face -Those four pictures go like yes yes yes no -Not a rate me but first pic and last are favorite. Serious side and natural. Gorgeous. -Dave Mustard -You look like Joey Ramone- but I’ve always wanted to fuck Joey Ramone -Thought you were Adriana from the Sopranos for a second -You're therapist is wrong. You just need to wash your hair and find a soul that loves you as hard as you pretend to hate yourself. -With those bangs don’t plan on getting banged. -I zoomed in…… NGL I’m not sure if I feel disappointed or releived -You should apply to be the spokesmodel for Butterface -you look like squidward's girlfriend -"i like the wet dog look, suits your face well" -"Why hide your forehead, when we can all see you have a lying problem, Pinocchio." -Looks like Alan Rickman has been in witness protection the last 8 years. -"Pics 1 to 5, okay to no fuckin way." -Your hairline is as thin as your lips and your forehead as big as your nose. -What you get when you find both your therapist and hairdresser on Fiverr -Chlamydia -Nose is bigger than your tits -last picture made me smile 😂 -Neither your therapist nor your hairdresser have your best interests at heart. -Sensational Queen Sherry's daughter -Somehow I can smell every picture -Howard Stern is looking damn good for his age. -I've never seen a group of pictures actually made WORSE because she included a picture that shows her nipples. -Tom Arya finally has a makeup routine! -you need a new therapist -Why makeup was invented -Cool goat. Where's the person we're supposed to roast? -Bro I seen you at that camp thing remember Gregory if your I’m sorry -Your therapist is gaslighting you. -"The only reason the smell of paint is giving you migraines is bc your big ass nose. - -(Check op post history)" -You remind me of chef linguinis mom (from ratatouille) -You look like an ancient Egyptian queef. -He meant to say “banged” then realised that’s an impossible feat -That nose must single-handedly keep the local shady gas station in business with how much ketamine they're selling. -Your nose is longer than your pit hairs. -I can’t tell what your gender is genuinely what are you? -Why are you so greasy? -Are you the one who gave snow white the poisoned apple? -It doesn't matter what gender you've invented for yourself. No one in the corresponding gender is interested. -You look like a fortune teller with no future of your own -U look like max holloway -Happy trans visibility day -Do you ever wash your hair? I can only imagine what your vagina smells like. -She needs to inhale 5 full breaths for the air to reach her lungs -I was gutted you died in stranger things -Yeah i dont think youre getting banged any time soon. Good luck with that though -getting banged by your father is not what she meant by getting bangs -"I think she meant she would bang you to help cope/ offset your deductible. First they fuck your mind, then your body." -You and fine shouldn’t belong in the same sentance -Can't tell if the pores on your nose are clogged or about to sprout hair. -"You seem to embrace a look that says ""I am a supervillains girlfriend""" -I'd be proud to have you on my arm. Your nose is part of who you are. -I could roast however you already nose -I don’t think your therapist nose what he is taking about. Did he recommend a plastic surgeon at all? -"No I do not want to have my future read, bugger off with your tarot mumbo jumbo." -Bangs because nobody wanna bang -You look like you’ve got a set of crystals protecting your Pokémon collection. -Please change your therapist :) -You look like you know how to churn butter and ride a broom -DJ Qualls clone -Methany -Your therapist secretly hates you -cool hairstyle -You looking for crack? -"Too much nose, not enough lips" -When your side job is sniffing out bed bugs for every neighbor in the trailer park. -Can you zoom out from the nose 👃 I can't see anything else. -"Bangs are never a good choice, switch therapists." -"Dude don't you ever do skin care? I could see those pores unzoomed in a 5"" screen. Could fry an egg in all that oil" -I think you're cute. Maybe. -Looks like someone banged your face with a car. -I always wondered what happened to Vincent from Beauty and the Beast. -Change your therapist lol -Absurdly naughty -You look like you have stinky farts -David Attenborough could do an entire hour long special on you. -The bangs are a great idea! They just need to be 7-8 inches longer. -"Okay, Mother Gothel. -We're not falling for your bullshit, but nice try." -I think you misunderstood. Your therapist said getting banged is a fine coping mechanism. The only problem is finding a willing participant. -Bangs are about 3 inches too short -With that face you won't be getting banged. I feel like I should go scrub my dick for even mentioning sex to you -Discount store Drea de Matteo -You have enough space between your eyes to set up an helipad and your mouth look like a brace { -"Impressive to simultaneously have no tits at all - -And also have boss eyed tits" -You spelled banged wrong -take a shower omg 😭😭😭 -I don't think your therapist meant bangs as in your hair -The worst hairstyle in history. Modern mullet. -A first grader could draw your face -"Getting bangs. - - -She's not talking about energy drinks or forehead hair. - - -The problem here is how exactly you think that's gonna ever happen..." -Doing a decent job hiding that meth mouth. -Pronouns would actually help in this case.... -I hope they notice my tits -Your therapist thinks attention whoring on the Internet is good coping .. Are you stupid or is your therapist stupid? -Leeloo Dumbass Multi-pass -I would. -I wouldn't like to do a bag with you -Has anyone ever told you how pretty you were? That's because you're not. -"Fuck dude, you look like somebody tried to clone Zendaya but the DNA was corrupted by a hippopotamus." -You look like you could turn a lesbian straight -All pictures prove that you don't even need a bra -You look like an alien who transitioned into a human. -Who nose you’re feeling this way? -Looking good Kevin. -So that’s what happened to Frodo’s mum. -You look like a stoned fox. -Sean Austin’s love child with a gray hound -Ur therapist didn’t mean anything about ur hair. They prolly thought if u could find somebody or something to help you lose your virginity it would help u out. I would start with farm animals. You may have better luck than getting anything from a person of the opposite sex. Whatever that is. -The plant tattoo on the bicep is a staple for mentally ill women. -You scream I scream we all scream! cat lady? -How do you even roast someone that will never make it outside the trailer park onlyfans group? -Looks like a random bar skank -H.P Lovecraft made his entire career on your looks. -Your smile looks like you always smell shit and it’s probably your breath. -You don’t need a haircut you need a plastic surgeon -Do you spray your face with WD40 before taking photos ? -You have the look of the straightest lesbian we could possibly come across -comment -I think fate roasted you enough as it is -You look like the night clerk at a Super 8 motel who spends his shift watching the spy cams he put in the rooms. -How long did you scrub that desk to get all the jizz off to take this picture? -I was having a bad day then saw you. Thanks. -"You didn't have to say you were a virgin, that was redundant looking at the picture" -Well at least you can post on r/ cleavage from the neck down. -"Buy low sell high, so I guess I'm buying" -Sounds like you would be the perfect Mod -Even god makes mistakes -"Move the paper, let’s see them titties!" -I bet those hands aren’t virgins. -Bro looks like they got 7 hentai pictures and 6 waifus lmfao -You’re pathetic enough without our help -"Tyrannosaurus Rex called, he wants his arms back." -Youve got a bright future working at the local sharwama restaurant -"There’s no shame in being a virgin… - -Unless you’re 37" -Do you pull your limbs into your body at night to keep warm? -Blubber doesn’t turn into ash. It melts. -You didn’t need to put virgin in the bio… we could already tell -This fat slob of a loser couldn't get laid inside a women's prison. -At least you got a nice pair of tits -"bro got rejected in every way possible(jobs, family, and his bitches" -"Life has been hard enough on you, no roast for you." -You look like gas station food -Resting constipation face -"Add ""failed t-shirt model"" to your list as well." -You look like the guy sending the white texts on r/ScammerPayback -Have you considered turning to hard drugs? -Your introduction speaks for itself -37 year old virgin is literally the joke -Interesting build -There you are! You hung up on me! Do I redeem the card or not?!?! -37 y/o virgin... this tells me even prostitutes refuse to sleep with you no matter the price -U kno u positioned that piece of paper so your abnormal pepperoni rings wouldn’t be seen. -Why do people do this to themselves? -"I know you’re probably gonna say something, but bro these are the choices that you made that put you in this position. If you want change, you have to change." -You look like you'd stare at a mirror while you wank just so you can see some jiggly tits in real life before you cum and ask your mom to stay out of your room. -When love handles are your best feature -"On the plus side, you’ve got great tits!" -You need to stop using the Buffett coupons for jizz towels -"just when you get bored with the dictionary definition of failure, this creature shows up !" -I can't believe you managed to make John Oliver look *even less* sexually experienced. -I’ve been on hold for over 5 minutes -Life has already roasted you enough mate. -Stop calling me for Microsoft support and go sell chai on streets. -We don’t need to roast you. One of the live wires in your country will take care of that. -I can smell this image -"Damn dude. I think you roasted yourself harder than I could. - -How did we get here? How did you make it to 37 and still a virgin? - -I feel like there has to be some story or reasoning behind it. - -I don't even want to roast. This is legit interesting." -"YOU are lying about the virgin part, you've definitely been fucked by a male hooker." -I'm glad you finally realized that your belly button doesn't count -You couldn't lose your virginity even if you fell into a large barrel of vaginas. -Poor guy can't even jerk his meat with those little T-Rex arms -"Of course you are a virgin, you fat nerdy fuck. Look at you. Check your diet, hit the gym and perhaps also learn to socialize properly." -"On the plus side, you can use the computer to start a successful career in credit card scamming" -You’re living the Japanese dream! -This is the picture of a dude that has absolutely nothing going on. -"“…no career and no degree…” - -Don’t forget no prospects. You also have no prospects." -I feel like your idea of no career is making under $150000 -Bet this guy's setup is in his mom's basement -At least 15tb worth -Waste of space. Don’t need a degree but at least get your ass a job. -At this point just get a prostitute -"Man I bet everyday your mom sees you living in her basement, she regrets she didn't swallow." -"*sees title* - -Yeah, checks out." -Seriously dude -You look like the Indian uncle that works at my 7/11 -T Rex was extinct we thought but we were wrong -"Bro, you are 37 without any career, degree or a partner. There isn’t anything we can do which life hasn’t done to you already" -Looks like arranged marriage wouldn't work for u -This is extremely sad. I genuinely feel bad for you and don't want to roast you. Holy shit man. Please take care of yourself. -Strangely enough I've met several other men named Ash Patel ... -Looks like I don't really need to do anything here. -Did you just stop your scamming business in india? -Have you tried respawning? -"You have done such a good job fucking your own life up, do you even need us." -Do you have to set an alarm with those ears or do you just hear the sun rise? -You are what every teen boy fears becoming. -Nice tits -Can you really be a virgin when life has fucked you this hard? -He look as if his mom got violated by a T-Rex and what dripped out of her fertilized a nearby frog pond and he spawned out fully grown. -Rakesh Sanchez Perez Delgado Patel. You look like you own a Dunkin’ Donuts on 178 st in the south Bronx. Why does your nose look like it comes off with your glasses? Ngl vikram you look like a mantis shrimp that accidentally swallowed his claw. Why is your arms so friggn short? They had to give you 21” by 8“ paper to hold up that damn sign. If you sneeze you’ll rip that shit in half. -I’m using your photo to prevent early ejaculation. -I'd kick it with you.. fuck the haters -At least you have your health… -This keyboard have some unidentified new type of virus 🦠 turn me to ash at least that was funny 😁 -Get a prostitution or escort job and make yourself the john..now go fuck yourself. Both boxes checked. -Speaking of ash -Heey I also rocked an esl wallpaper when I was 14 -I've seen better looking men floating down the Ganga. -Get out of the way so I can better admire the Seahawks team color wall -"You just roasted yourself, bud..." -Should have used a poster board as your sign -I don't want to roast you... I balue by behicle extended warranty too much -You look like you'll be in prison soon enough for innaporpiate pictures of minors. You can get a degree there -"Send a message to the Nelk Boys, they might be able to help ya out" -"i'm guessing that the ""calling about your car insurance"" call center career didn't work out???" -Not even the Aghori would touch you -T rex arms -Thank you come again -You need a hooker. -"You want Ash? Look no further than your ashy skin bruh, Osama bin not moisturising" -"Ash is your crush, isn't he?" -Turn you to ash? theres enough of that on your computer desk. -Are you hoping to be a slime or an 8th son? -Just get a hooker bro. As long as she’s free. -"No roast needed,... ROASTED YOUR SELF ALREADY" -"If you want to be turned to ash, can't you find an Ashram?" -Lil fat neck ahh lil wide back ahh -And by shower too? -"At least you are expecting twins, that is a good thing" -You like you get off to masochism like this post title -Why turn you to ash when you could just scratch your elbow with a dry crusted sock? -what happened? -Thanks for covering your tits -Incredible how you manage to look like someone who tries to lure kids into your van and they end up beating your ass and robbing the vehicle. -I like how you posted yourself with your pc jn the background to really fold it in -It appears your skin care routine is already doing that. Get some goddamn lotion and use it for something other than jacking off to ladyboy porn -"And to think your parents wanted you to become a doctor or lawyer… - -(Also 100% plays league of legends)" -I see you’re back to bittorrenting auntie porn. -"You already are ash with the inept life you’ve allegedly created for yourself, my friend" -Passport was stamped with Scam Likely. -Stop Scam People online! -You look like you stare at people through the bookshelves in a library. -You'd probably make it as a decent Indian chef if it weren't for the multiple restraining orders filed against you. -You look like you smell like shit 🤢 -Ash is versatile and can serve a purpose though. -"Seriously dude, hire a hooker." -Sure you don’t mean Ashe? -Your names probably already Ash. -"We are all going to end up the same way at the end of the day, so do what makes you happy, dont let society make you think you have to act a certain way, or be a certain way, trust me, your not missing much not having been with a women" -Seriously dude. Get a hooker. -What’s the point -You know it smell crazy in there -"Ash is a world champion, you could never." -"Get your ass in a gym dude. Start eating whole foods, cut the sugar out of your diet and stop jacking off so much. You jack off TOO much man, everyone can see it." -I think genetics already did a good job -Pretty sure Ash is the short form of your actual name. -OFC you have a gift card for a free buffet! -"Sounds like life has already done that, so why try to re-invent the wheel." -You look like you run a scam center -You have a fucking weird torso. It’s like someone stuck your head on a bar of soap and added pipe cleaner arms that aren’t proportionate to anything. -Just pay for it. -Anything anyone could say here would be a step up from your description of yourself. -Jonah Hill of he was hindi and gayer. Nice -the glasses and your weight are roasting u already😭 -"You could have bought a badass home gym with what you spent on monitors, a college degree with what you spent on ""entertainment"" subscriptions, a good-looking wardrobe for what you spent on memorabilia. Let me tell you a joke. What's attached to a leash that it made itself? The way that you've been fucking yourself." -You seem like a nice person with a good personality -Ash? That's your sperm. -The paper ain't covering those bitch tits bob -At least you can still find a career -Is that a family pack of tickets to an all you can eat buffet on your desk? -Nah you got two screens. You’ll be alright -Just go make bank. Then go pay for it -I believe in you brother turn it around! -How do people even get like this -His hands are drier than his dick -You didn't have to say you didn't have a career. I could tell by that Corsair Mousepad. -Even hookers turn him down. . I'm sorry bro -"Life is a roast for you, sorry" -Full screen BitTorrent is a lil wild bro… -Bro is built like a T-rex -"You can hold the paper in front of them, but we can still infer you need a bra" -Don’t give up on your dreams! I believe in you! -picture says more than the title -"You look like you know Chris from Microsoft support, I'm glad he let me pay I'm Amazon gift cards, he was really nice and asked me all about my life, my mum's family, my pets names and everything. - -Can you ask him to give me a call back as I'm having some problems with my computer again, when I log into online banking it says I took out several loans, but I don't remember doing that, so maybe it's just a glitch? - -I dunno, but I'm sure that you could help out as well, thanks sweetie." -Why do you have toddler keys -A virgin with no career? You roast yourself daily 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ -Jonah over the Hill -Good try covering up your oversized man breast with the roastme sign. -"We can see your desktops, they’re roasting you far harder than anything we could say." -37 my ass. You're pushing 50. And not pushing it yourself obviously cuz you look like a lazy piece of shit so you would probably pay someone else to push it. -"No degree doesn’t really mean shit (unless you want to be a lawyer, engineer or doctor), but holy fuck dude do something about a career - -(Not a roast I know, just a general comment)" -Easiest cosplay ever. Tyrannosaurus Rex. Just got to figure out how to make your arms look longer... -How many bodies do you have in your freezer? -"You look like Mr.Potato Head, if you removed his shoes and replaced them garbage." -You’re no virgin. You’ve definitely fucked yourself. -I can see why you're a Virgin. -"Well, there’s always blowup dolls. So you got that going for ya." -"I won’t take your virginity but I bet I could milk -those udders" -I’d have thought the self description would have done you in -Got an A+ in lunch and still no degree smh. -You fuckin suck dude -You should have been a doctor starting a family at least ten years ago. Your race has cancelled your membership! -That's going to be me in 20 years. -"surely I can‘t say anything worse than you must’ve said to yourself a thousand times before, staring at the mirror with your beady eyes, those little t-rex arms, incongruously hanging on to your plump torso barely contained by an uninspiring and sweat-stained t-shirt through which the slight outline of a bra is visible; reminding you that you were meant to be a man but failed." -Doesn't matter how many times you turn to ash you'll just be reborn as useles as you are now -Bro you look like you would be a walmart greeter during the thanksgiving sale. -Your shirt is wrinkled -Did u take this photo in a basement -Well at least you look healthy adjacent. -Your dick is likely ash from all the tugging -Too tight to dish a little money out on a sex worker -Fucking dole bludger… -Dude plz get some puss -Porn n grub hubbin through life -You have two comments and they are both in the pubg mobile subreddit. -I think the “37 y/o virgin with no career and no degree.” Is really all you need. -Pretty sure you have some Pokémon cards in that back pocket….Ash. -Yeah we should turn you to ash because no one will be there to cremate you -You go to the local pet store and touch various types of fish just so you can smell your fingers later and fire off some knuckle children. -You couldn’t even get laid in a Mumbai whorehouse. -"You live with your parents but tell people it's because you take care of them even though they own the house you're living in and pay all the bills. Oops I forgot, you buy random groceries and call it even." -1+ monitor than me but you're still unhappy -You look like you have to introduce yourself to the neighbors. -Dude trying to hide his titties with a piece of paper -You look 57. -I think the existential dread of wasting the best years of your life on whatever you were doing and never really experiencing life will do more to you than I ever could roasting you. -"You know how when you go to the fridge and open the door and there's nothing that you want? You close the door and stand there for a few seconds, lower your expectations and open the door again. Do that with your life." -What is going on with that back wall? Did you sneak into the back room of a tech conference so that you could pretend to own a computer? -Learn how to code. While that's still a job not done by AI. The people with the most terrible personalities do that work; we can do it too. -"Hey, you're that guy that keeps calling my nan about the 7000 bitcoin she has in her virtual wallet!" -"I've got a feeling you're gonna turn yourself into ash, when u realize your life's worth is to strap up that bomb vest and walk barefoot into a market" -Wow everything I wish I was at 37 instead I fuck up big time -You’ve already managed that on your own. -Life is the only thing that has fucked you. -"Hey, Look on the bright side! In three more years you can star in “40-Year-Old Virgin Too.”" -Just your aura through a phone made me depressed -This is why the IT service desk ticket #543782 is still open. -I hope you have a good day -Thank you for not contaminating the gene pool any further. -37? Are you sure? -Look like a guy who wears the same tshirt till it grows legs -"Hey, you have kind eyes and your sex life is none of my business. I wish you the best as you work your way through this human experience that we’re all a part of" -No roast necessary just look in the mirror -Your culture permits arranged marriages and you're *still* a virgin? -Bro probably practices his kissing on his sister -Your semen is ash -That's nice. They let you get your picture taken at work at the call center in India. -"ESL one wallpaper lol, I can't beat that man" -You ever hear about prostitutes? Cheaper than a wife -"Mooj : Hey u/IMP3R1AL87 don't let these Redditor roasters bother you. It's okay not to have sex, not eveybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25? - -u/IMP3R1AL87 : I’m 37. - -Mooj : Holy shit man, you *got* to get on that!" -You did it to yourself with that caption bud -Not even the blue and green screens behind you can render a girlfriend for you. -I forgot that fucking goats doesn’t count as sex in some cultures -"Don't beat yourself up, calling me from a random 1-800 number to tell me I'm late on my taxes, and I can repay the government in gift cards is nobel" -Seems like God has already done the hard work here. -"I don't want to honestly , hope ya find some direction chief. Best wishes." -Dude if they had a contest with the most ugly guy alive you'd win CONSISTENTLY -"I've fucked goats better looking than you. -Everyone on Reddit has done the same." -"Stop answering customer service calls with “Hello, my name is Michael, how can I help you?”." -You have a buffet entry…which is nice -Bro is already ash you asking people to turn your ass into oblivion -Get a better keyboard -I’m sorry id feel bad roasting an almost homeless person -Those ligature marks on your neck tell me that someone unfortunately didn't finish the job. -"Trump wants his very large, very normal hands back." -You won once - you were the fastest sperm. -"Shit dude, most people at least accidentally stumble and fall into pussy by then. Broadcast that shit and get cougared ya dumb fuck!" -50 terabytes. iykyk -Blue screen AND green screen?! That’s insanity -What's taking you so long? -No career ? I talk to you at least 3 times a week on the phone and you're threatening to call the cops on me if I don't get you an Amazon Gift Card. -Slumdog…that’s it. -"37 y/o virgin WITH NO career AND NO degree, you turned yourself into ash buddy. Sorry for the pity." -"to admit you're a 37 y/o virgin must be easy on reddit but in person probably hard asf, anyways lose that shit before your 40 because then there's a movie dedicated to 40 y/o virgins XD" -"If that's true, I honestly feel bad for you. Maybe I can call tech support and we could talk about this." -"Mom says not to burn trash, sorry" -Here for the comments. -Hey I also have that mouse pad -"He gets a new 5 pack of that same shirt every two months from amazon prime, extra roomy for every occasion" -Virgin by choice ..? I feel like everyone can actually get laid I need some intel -The embodiment of depression -Be well -"I don't know what's more pathetic, the fielding in the European Super League or your dress sense." -The next star of 40 years old virgin. -You will never get laid with a dusty ass desk like that you dirty virgin. -"You have done that on your own but Jesus saves, forgives and will make you a new person reborn into light rather than darkness. Forgiveness rather than judgement if you are willing to believe and ask!! God bless you!" -You're fully aware of all these things and instead of taking action you make a post on reddit? Do you think this will fill the void some how? Video games not doing it for you lately? It's over for you dude. -Bro just go to your local Back Pages and lose it already… -"He’s looking right but his nose, left." -Op did all the roasting himself -Currently on set filming my first starring role in Human Centipede 8: The Nerdipede -"Yooooo, help me with game mods" -How the hell did this happen? -You look ashy enough already. Instead of using all that lotion on masturbating to whatever weird shit you’re into you should rub some on your arms and neck. -Tinder for the love of god -Dude. Just buy a hooker. -I bet that room smells -I’ll make you not a virgin -He the guy who goes in the rooms with a black light and licks all the glowing spots -That piece of paper is not hiding those mushy titties. -"Honestly, I can’t. Your life isn’t so bad. I was a virgin until 30, and now I have kids and a wife and no time or money to play games. The sex is nice, though. You should figure out a way to have some of that." -"Hey, are you supposed to be working at the mall cellphone case kiosk?" -37 going on 55. -I’m surprised you’re a virgin. You’ve got great tits. -"You look like an elephant shit in a tube sock after eating Chipotle. - -Mic drop." -"How are you affording rent, utilities, food, healthcare?" -7-11 store owner in the making -I think he inadvertently admitted that not even a hooker will bang him -gas station? -Are you the guy always calling me pretending to be the electric company -Omg these comments lolololol -God has his purpose for everyone. Expect for you. -Bro you can wash mouse pads in the washing machine -You look like you were grazing in a field when the aliens kidnapped you. -I bet you play DOTA so much you have a shit bucket under your desk. -"So desperate, even Hangelina doesn't want him" -3 more years and you can boast that the movie that came out years ago is based on your life story. -"I can come up with no better roast than the one you used to describe yourself in the post's title. Well done, sir! You win at r/RoastMe!!" -He spend his entire life braiding his little sisters hair and was to dumb to make it a career. 😂 -Do you have titties? -You look like you already turned yourself to ash with that dusty skin -Sounds like a repetitive wrist injury cummin in -For the love of God man; hire a hooker or something. -OP is downplaying it. That tubby Hindu has been a virgin for 37 lifetimes at least. -"This picture has a smell, like BO and jizz." -I could see this guy squishing bags of sand in 3 years -are u Rly a virgin ? why wpuldnt u pay for it ? i find that hard to believe/. imagine -"I know it's not the point of these but it's never to late to make a change brother - -You look fully able and I bet you have enough sense to figure something out for yourself. 37 isn't even close to retirement age but if your ever going to do anything now is the time" -Why? You kinda already did that to yourself. -You look like you took a severe beating for eating the village cow. -"You’re not just a member of masturbators anonymous, you’re the president" -"Voted “most likely to get caught by his mom playing Minecraft while masturbating.” And that was yesterday. The worst part is, the only one who voted in the poll was his mom." -You kinda already roasted yourself bro -...you just said your own roast. -You mentioned being a virgin and failure but you tried to gloss over being fat and having less hair than a porcelain vase as if we wouldn't notice? -Definitely fucka that computer while his anime wife is pulled up -Stop playing Counter Strike -"Fascinating specimen, honestly. I guess I assumed that there were SOME virgins around and I know there are lots of people without degrees, but even if you happen to be both, the odds of you not having compensated in some way to find a half-ass “career” seem almost astronomical. I applaud you sir, in your uniqueness. No roast. Good luck." -I hereby convert you into an Islamic Demon -Love your confidence stated in the caption 🤣 -"You’re ashy enough, my guy." -"Can't do that, life has already been too harsh on you" -You look like you’ve never even masturbated -good luck dude <3 -You look like a discord moderator -You look like you giggle when you hear the word “vagina” -Man if you laid off the available buffets you might not need to get clothes that would pass off for twin size bedsheets. -No I don't want to -You look like the Indian customer service scam people I get calls from everyday. -I don't think it's gonna happen for you bro. Can't wait to see the comments when you make that 60 y/o virgin post -"A man so desperate for sex, he will not rule out going to a gay bear orgy." -Did you setup your homeless shelter at a preschool? Why is you walls painted two tone?! -Couldnt pay me enough to look at his browser history. -you look like a cool dude man. -You look like a potato. 🥔🥔🥔 -*You deserve this.* -You look like you tell Andy to go fuck goats -Damn the movies/shows got the stereotype correct -Behen chod -I thinks he’s gonna get off to these insults -How the hell are you a virgin at 37??!🤣🤣😂 I thought everyone got laid eventually lmfao I guess not lol -"its nice of your mom to let you live in the corner of her basement. - - I'm sure when she refers to you as the ""troll"" its done of of ""love"" ?" -"You have more chins than a Chinese phone book, you look like you moderate this subreddit, your lips have a restraining order on your beard, you probably smell horrendous, you look like you have 2tb of hentai on your computer, and jesus christ someone get you some handwriting classes." -You look like you’d get rejected for arranged marriages -"no need for the title, we can already tell" -"show us your elbows, bet those are ashy enough" -Go to your country and get prostitute -You just turned yourself to ash -Roasts are supposed to punch up not down. I hope you get the help you need buddy. -Bro we can’t burn you it’ll start a grease fire in your parents basement -Bro pay for a prostitution at that point😭 -you look like a kind person -The lowest kdr but the highest scam rate -Damn that’s just sad -I’ll call the producer from Super Troopers first thing in the morning and see if he would be willing to donate Farva’s used Ursela doll to the man. He needs some love too. 🤙 -You look like you waddle when you walk. Like a penguin. -Your haircut explains you are virgin. Your desk dust explains you have no career. But your glasses fakes you have a degree. -Hang in there bud -I will not contribute to this sadistic behaviour -You beat us to it . -Chicken Tikka Quagmire -Take a shower and shave! -Turned out to be the loser thar mom always said you would be. -You’re just a bum? -" -Cal cutta fart" -I think you’ve done that job well enough on your own. -Can you give me back my money you scammed? -Bro is a general of all league of legends players -"I don't usually suggest drugs to people, but cocaine MIGHT MAYBE, highly doubtful in your case tho, be able to help you lose those manbies" -"Bro probably cries himself to sleep, and to wake up." -How you already roasted yourself. -You could have just said 37 y/o and we would have known the context just by looking at the photo. -How you gonna be dumb and look like Steve Urkel all at the same time? -I think the FBI should just preemptively put you on a predator list. -Ok but how does this happen and how tf are u surviving -Bro if you worked out and went on a healthy diet. You could be a ripped virgin. -"Man, fuck women! In your case, metaphorically, not literally." -"You look like you attend Pokémon tournaments carrying a sandwich your mom made you, a go gurt and a king size snickers all packed in a limited edition teenage mutant ninja turtles lunch box that you take pride in and show off to teenagers st said tournament ...that your mom begrudgingly drives you to breathing and seathing with quiet rage between clenched teeth wondering how much more of this she can endure." -You just turned yourself to ash man - Goblin Coomer -You actually have to use sandpaper to clean all the dried cum from your mousepad and desktop. -"No career AND no degree? What's next, no parents?" -Bro I hope you’re at least good at games -This is what a natural birth control looks like -He called me and said I owed the IRS 2 grand. That sneaky bastard -Just go to Amsterdam at this point. Get it over with. -You look like a doctor who had his license revoked... but I guess you would need a career for that first 🤷‍♂️ -Your skin is so ashy it teamed up with Pikachu. -"Based on your appearance, you'll probably never get laid...not by a woman at least. 😬" -Aloo Sofa -"I’m reminded of a battle rap bar - - -“He could use some more vagina - - -Cuz a girl wouldn’t look his way of there was a unicorn behind him”" -Bro go outside -"> 37 y/o - -You look like a 50 year old child." -"Good news is that the buffet is available, am i right?" -Thats my motivation to exercise/uni/eat right for the rest of the year sorted. -"Really dude, I can't say anything worse than what you have done to yourself." -I think you did it yourself man damn -Well you have man tits and no one can take that away from you. -hello? this is indian tech supportor how may i help you -Honestly your dick is probably ashy enough because it's never been wet. -You are fine? -The bomb you’ll stick up your ass to blow up your victims house you been stalking for months will turn you to ash -Are u having a laugh. This is too easy read the rest of the comments -Herald -Honestly if I saw you in public I’d probably think this of you. -Ahhh so this is what M Night Shayamalan's failed son would look like 🤔 -"Damn, you have balls posting this on reddit man. I have no roast for someone with courage of that caliber. Kudos sir, purvey that courage with girls and you’ll get your dick wet in no time." -Thanks for inspiring me (a 21 year old) -Bro's a virgin but the world fucks him up everytime -"Just buy some sex, Jesus christ" -comment -Looking like a dollar store NavaHoe -">make me cry... - -Me: <*padlocks the fridge*>" -"If I had a face like that, I’d want to punch a bunch of holes and spikes in it too." -"Remember kids, looking different just for the sake of looking different is not always a good ideia" -Your hair is beautiful. It’s a shame it’s all on your arms -"You're the insufferable hippie everyone hates. - -Make sure you charge your rocks in the moon light otherwise you'll have bad luck and gonorrhea for the next 15 years or some shit." -On behalf of everyone: we don't want to see your other piercings. -"If you add just a bit more metal, I bet that'll fix it!" -You ever look at a girl and just *know* she does anal? -If you were my only option- I’d stay home and purchase a Brazzers account -"That face you make when you try to look like Cleopatra, but end up looking like Genghis Khan after a shave." -"You look dirty, like hep-c kinda dirty" -">26F // make me cryy :P - -your self-esteem is as low as your nipples." -Teeth social distancing like it's still 2020! 😝 -"""Love"" tattoo with a sad face as the O, -Broken heart tattoo with a sword through it, -Sounds like crying is your pass time, this is a place for jokes, Sir." -"I don’t need to say anything to make you cry, looking into the mirror should be enough" -"This bitch wants to get roasted, - -so burn her good till she’s toasted. - -Her body is dumpy, her style is frumpy. - -That’s why she keeps getting creampied, - -Then ghosted." -Leave the nose metal for farm animals -You look like a member of the Shine-a-cock tribe and your tribal name is She Does Stepdad -You look like you burn incense and cry yourself to sleep while cuddling a salt rock. -You don’t need us to make you cry. Try a mirror. Full length if possible. -Has your dad come back with the milk yet? -Parents putting hog rings in to keep her from rooting around the buffet table at the family functions -All I need is a magnet. A really strong magnet. -"“Tattoos enhance your personality” well -Not here" -How to scare away every decent man in a 5 mile radius -Every seat you sit in smells like poo after you get up. -"The ""my only source of self worth comes from letting guys nut on me"" classic edition" -I can’t roast someone who already survived a crossbow bolt to the face. -Somehow I bet that hand tattoo is the least of your worst decisions recently -"Nose ring completes your “cow girl” look quite literally except for your grossly out-of-proportion, inadequate tits compared to your body fat percentage" -We get it. You were aborted but managed to survive. -I’ve always wondered what ice cream would taste like with a mouth full of chiclets. -"I bet allergy season has you leaking snot out of your head, like a faulty sprinkler." -It almost looks like you thought you weren’t naturally ugly enough and so you decided to accessorize -"You ever seen my big fat Gypsy wedding? - -This is a big fat Gypsy without any chance of a wedding." -This is the genie you get when you rub a crack pipe three times. -"Selfie in the public bathroom: - - -Aka I am self-absorbed and/or I'm lazy and should be working rn - - -Also the bridge piercing just accentuates where your unibrow used to be - - -Look up accentuates if you're not sure what that means" -When cleavage is saggy you know there’s trouble below. -"If you just want to cry, look in the mirror" -when was the last time you used the bathroom to shower instead of just taking selfies? -Involved in hair pulling brawls in dive bar parking lots every weekend. -"If I pulled all those terrible piercings out, you’d cry." -Your horoscope is Selfiecorn. -Lookin like Jason Momoa's big toe -You have thicker sideburns than Elvis. -One of the few people that needs to back to being locked in someone's basement -"Great, a girl with fat arms but wait…. Flat & Saggy tits?!" -Yeah man I like treating my face like a bulletin board too -First time I've seen a bellies dancer -Do the snakes on your arms help keep the flies away? -Now I know who stole my tackle box -"*has new boyfriend every 6 months* -*drives a Subaru * -*mild ketamine addiction*" -You look like a kid made a wish on a shooting star and someone found you unconscious on the floor of a smoke shop the next morning. -Tell us your dad left when you were little without telling us -I can smell the disappointment and yearn for dad’s love. -It’s like you’re intentionally trying to be unattractive… -Can't. You made me cry first. -I can hear you asking me what time I was born already -Queen of the Neverwash tribe -You're definitely on the used dildo mailing list -This is Reddit NOT the submission form to be on What Not To Wear. That show ended in 2013. -These pictures look like a progression of a meth addict. Starts out normal and by the ends it’s BJ’s for $20 bucks. -I loved your rendition of somewhere over the rainbow -I'm sure it's the NEXT piercing that will bring daddy back home... -"No, we have young America Ferrera at home!! The America Ferrera at home." -Shitty tattoos. Shitty clothing. Shitty piercings. What are the chances she doesn’t have a shitty personality? -Just say it. You want attention -Nobody here is going to be able to damage you as much as your Dad has. -r/picturesyoucansmell -i bet your nipples are cockeyed -Doesn’t the mirror already make you cry? -"I’m sure you cry enough, no need for anyone to say anything" -"damn, you don't have enough tattoos and piercings yet, I can still see the ugliness!" -"Yikes, silver dollar flapjacks." -I got Herpes just scrolling by this post. -"Aladdin 2: It’s 15 years later, and Jasmine has syphilis and a bad attitude." -At least you can turn on a metal detector. -When did you transition? -Looks like a wrecked car about to be towed by a truck! -She looks like she smells. -You definately went above and beyond on making yourself as unattractive as possible with that nose bridge piercing ✊️✊️✊️ -The thirty lbs you put on between the last photo and the first already did -Your transitioning looks almost believable! -Wow… I’ve never seen an ice cream cone go soft before. -Animal crossing white fence ah teeth -You look like you got face fucked by a hardware store. -"If you can’t afford to finish the tattoos, at least buy a bra to some definition on you!" -"The word alt comes to mind, as in, I wish I could alt delete these photos from my memory." -"You look like you use dressing/acting boho as an excuse to not shower. - - -Also the fact that you’re 26 and have that wall decor is….. something." -"What would I say that you haven't already done to your body, probably for money?" -Your face could unlock the secrets of Magneto's worst fear -If you were playing in my back garden I wouldn't even open my curtains -"Were the toothy blowjobs not painful enough for your dad, that you thought adding sharp metal in your face would make it stop?" -The only metal that should be on your face is some braces to fix those gaps. -"Honey, you’re supposed to spit OR swallow." -I wouldn’t fvck you with your d1ck. -Are you going for that sexy chubby look? You’re halfway there… -We're the same age and you look twice my age -You look like a generic pack of cigarettes -you look like a giant incense cone -Would it be low hanging fruit if I mention your saggy breasts ? -"I bet your favorite phrase is ""you can't judge me you don't know what I've been through"", but I know. Dicks lots of dicks from old fat white dudes" -That's ezzy look in the mirror 🪞🪞 lol lmao if that face doesn't make u wanna cry I don't no what will a homeless crake head would not kiss that for 100 bucks -So what’s the narcan count on your nostriles? -"No need. You look like you cry on your own, without any good reasons" -You look like you smell your fingers. -Unattractive people do not become attractive by piercing their skin with metal and dying their hair crazy colours. -Blue ribbon tramp stamp -Your teeth are social distancing like it’s 2020 -I guess fasting isn't a part of your culture. -"Wait, this is you at your best?" -Each tooth has its own personality -Those titties need more support than someone coming out of the Betty Ford Clinic. -Your tits are the only skinny part of your body. -"If you ever sneeze, you'd get pierced by your own face and die by bleeding. (That is not a roast that's a emergency call!)" -Look in the mirror a bit longer -Calls herself Sage Brush -"Good lord, just stop" -Kourtney Kardashian without the money. -Do you need those crazy clothes to make up for a bland personality? -"Nah hell no bot -Just no -Next" -Imagine this chick in 10yrs.. Fuckin yikes. -You look like an under-baked Frieda Kahlo. -"ER Doctor: “How on earth did you get this spinal fracture? Run over by a truck?” - -You: “Nah, just tried arching my back to show off my best asset in the mirror. Want to see the pic?” - -ER Doctor: “That’s not an asset, that’s a left parenthesis.”" -Every pic I look at I hear a different Santana song... -You are beautiful -You'll always be a virgin 😂 -Definitely a “rebel” that was a result of trauma from an uncle. -Moana: expired -What is that stupid metal shit in your face? -I peep a peep tattoo. -You look like the type of chick that cries if her nuggets are cold but also laughs about breaking hearts -i hate your piercing on the bridge of ur nose. it does not suit you at all. i’m sorry -"You look like a happy person and I hope that you are. - -Sorry, I’m not good at following rules." -Pretty ash 😮‍💨🔥 -No Thank you. -Looks like you fell face first into my fishing tackle box... -"“Is she pregnant, I can’t tell” type build" -I find you to beautiful to wanna make you cry sorry about that -Your face has more towing eyes than a 1.4 Honda Civic ricer -Brosario Dawson -Rikishi Faatu makes an appearance -If poking a few holes and and painting on a blown chance was person -You must be really bored to think piercings make you interesting. -I’m sure you think you have a nice personality -we all know you don’t need us to cry -I don’t need to make you cry. Your father (or lack of one) does that every day. -You already do. -"You are one of those girls where a bad guy thinks ""It's not worth with the roofie, to spike your drink""" -"OMG, I'm crying." -"You parents were hoping you’d go for a career as a Doctor, Physician, Lawyer, or Corporate Executive, but you chose to be a Trustifarian Activist, and they struggle everyday to hide their disappointment." -"She was selling burritos for two years, then got fired because one customer choked up with one of her piercing." -Your face already did. -"Fat ass, next" -"Fupa Dancer - -Probably jingles like a bodega front door, and smells like a back alley hobo orgy - -You look like you’re cosplaying a gypsy toilet seat" -"Didn't you once audition for Larry David? - -https://youtu.be/e9APpikkkcM?feature=shared" -look like you have to cut your tampon because the crabs kept bunjee jumping -"No mms Ponte a hacer ejercicio, chichi caída , lonjas y pues las nalgas también con celulitis, pero todo eso tiene remedio 😅" -You look like you fell face first into a tackle box. -You got some nice wolverine sideburns -You want to cry? Look in the mirror -A mirror causes more pain to you than our words ever could -Make you cry? Uh...a mirror? -No amount of silver is going to make anyone want you -The 7th picture is correct... Oink Oink! -You must be from the Hoeawatha tribe. -"That ""LOVE"" tattoo is the only love you will ever gonna have." -I am sure the last 5 partners youbhave been with have already made you cry enough. -It's always fun when you can look at someone and know exactly how their relationship is with their parents -You’re not a torta. You’re an orca. -You look like a girl who was popular purely because you were the first one sucking dick -How is her hair always wet even when it isn’t wet. Bleh. Vile. -If you lost weight you’d be very pretty -You were cute 45 pounds ago. -"false happiness. -you take smiling photos but in reality you die inside. -you probably cry under your pillow every night thinking about your empty future, and your look certainly doesn't help." -Your dad leaving for a pack of smokes didn’t make you cry enough? -I wish I could just put tapestries over all my problems… -Let me post on here on false pretenses trying to get roasted while at the same time I've never seen many red flags on a individual in one photo go manifest a healthy relationship.... If you can -That is such a nice mustache! Do you condition it? -Looks like a Gypsy stole someone’s phone again -Cam I make you moan and scream while I fill you with my cream -"Your torso screams 47M, it’s all we have in common, but I’ll take it." -I would rather die virgin. -Just need a battery and some cables and you will cry -"For someone who spends that much time in the bathroom, I thought you'd be thinner" -You look like what would happen if someone made the wall of shitty tattoo designs at a tattoo shop into a hot air balloon. -Why? Do you need a nap and can't fall asleep seeing how you normally cry yourself to sleep? -You mean like your parents did when they saw what you did to yourself? -Always remember for ever and ever you will never be called the pretty girl -"Just be yourself everything will fall out of place, again." -Look in the mirror and watch the tears avoid that mug by rolling down your back. -"You put so much effort into looking like you don’t care, but deep down, you’re terrified no one will notice." -The only time someone ever filled your holes is the piercings. -I can tell you have those weird triangle titties -"Personally, I think you're very attractive... to industrial-strength magnets." -Youd make a blind man jump -"Do you also have an extra chromosome like you have an extra ""Y"" in the word ""cry"" in your title?" -The confidence boost you feel from your piercings is unwarranted. -You didn't have to make me cry. -You look homeless -Your parents cry enough for all of us -Definition of half n half -looks like a hoe -Lose weight wrap a braska around it -I can smell your scent from 10000 miles away -Example A-G why you should wear a brah even if you don’t have tits. The sag is real. -So who else tried to scratch that gunk off their phone screen only to realize it is on her nose. -How many drugs do you do? -"I'd like to smash you, literally" -I can only imagine what you subjected your actual hole to given you pierced in so many places without holes!! -One sec; let me just get a very strong magnet… -you look like someone who'd catch feelings for a guy who used you as a rebound when initially you weren't interested in him at all -Those face piercings will help the cops with the metal detectors find your body. Pass. -"You look like you read palms for a living. And by ""read palms"" I mean look at them slaps coming at you every time you buy a new crystal because your gang leader pimp doesn't appreciate you trying to better yo self." -"Those hips not only don’t lie, they also create their own orbit." -Your face has more shrapnel than a Russian conscript. -Gravity hit your tits like Mike Tyson hit Pinklin Thomas. -I bet your pubes look like Gimlis beard -"""Just your typical stoner, join me on of!""" -You had a white friend you called amigo. Ditched hime and felt sorry ever since -Get really good at making cappuccino -You probably make yourself cry every day -I think your father has made you cry enough -Your exes deserved better. -Congratulations on your boxing gold medal. All of Algeria seems so proud -I could not bear to make you cry. -You would look cuter with more piercings. -But why?😍 -Lets be for real -Man I wanna see those titties -Nah bro what if someone places a strong fking manet in fronta her💀 -You don't need us to make you cry just from a quick glance. -"Where to start?, better call up a tattoo parlor soon to fix some shit up so looking at ""it"" wouldnt be so horrid" -What's your favorite face bag for sex? -I've never before seen an ice cream cone recoil. -0 followers on her free OF -If seeing the pictures before you posted them didn't make you cry I don't know what you want us to do about it. You're obviously a rock. -You're clothes cry out more than you do. -"Keep on with the ice cream and those love handles will turn into wings. Unless you are trying to identify as a pig, you got the nose ring and teets already so you are well on your way." -"‘’ monster-in-a-box’’ -*FF6 boss music begin playing *" -"""Any last words?"" - some autobot in transformers" -Shocker you don’t cry when you look in a mirror -comment -When you're so fat that it transcends ethnicity. -One ton soup -Lord of the onion rings. -And they say wearing black makes you look thinner. -Jackie Double Chan -Jobless the Hutt -redditmod -You look like my balls after I shave them. -When bro walks past my TV I miss 2 episodes of my favourite show -Your chin looks like a swollen pussy going through chemo -Food Manchew -I bet the last time you saw your penis without a mirror was when Obama was president. -"When you go camping, bears hide their food." -Your so fat you need hula hoops to hold up your socks. -In the last pic it looks like an old man started to shave his groin but then gave up and left some bald intermixed with long stragglers -Shave. Just shave. -Willing to bet you haven't seen your penis since you were 13. -"I can’t roast you in good conscience, it looks like you have a lot on your plate already. - -Literally." -Most disgusting facial hair of all time. I thought maybe those were veins so I checked. Almost threw up. -Your body is squashing your eyes shut -The Last Hamurai -Your chin looks like a sparsely haired ballsack -You’re built to survive car crashes -You're built like a dirty diaper -lord fatquaad -A lil piece of advice...gravy is not a beverage. -"Holy molly, this is an attack on titan model discord moderator. -If someone asked an AI to draw what a discord predator looks like, you would be the first image rendered." -Marty Mcgravy -Asian Peter Griffin -Sum chin wong -How many Nickelodeon shows did you produce -"if he lie on a bed, he would fall on both sides" -"I only roast the hot people that come here seeking validation. - -I know you probably have obesity-related depression, but that can be fixed. It’s probably hard as shit on a physical level just to even get out of bed. - -All I have to say is this: Don’t give up. It’s easy to get upset at what people think or say about you, or when you look in the mirror. 140 pounds and 15 years ago, I was you. But like me, you can do it. It only requires little changes gradually." -"How you gonna look like goth humpty dumpty. - -You look like the scale you been on is the Richter scale. - -Bruh you have your own gravitational pull..at the buffet. - -When they say it's all you can eat, it's not a challenge. - -AC/DC should sue for copy right infringement. - -With all these jokes I will let you decide which chin to take it on. - -You look like you special order your clothing." -I guess salads is out of the question with you ? -"He sells his own fart jars to himself on ebay, and gets hard smelling them" -Attila the Hun’gry -The final boss of Reddit mods -Stop eating other people's feelings. -Shave your chins. It looks like you rolled your face around a toilet seat at a gathering of the Juggalos event. -Pass -Bro got cardio points pulling up that grin -If I roasted you it would feed America. -"Not a roast, just want to say: shave this awful beard bro.. That looks absolutely disgusting.." -Anus Khan-the ruler who crushed his enemies with his ass then ate them. -If Reddit was a person -So how's your sex life? -You look like a truffle growing upside down. -"Please, shave for fucks sake. (Honestly)" -I just laughed ar your face -"The camera adds 10 pounds, how many cameras are on him?" -So this is the reddit mod that keeps banning me -Bro your chin is fucking disgusting -"If you shaved Kung Fu Pandas body but left some hair... -You'd have half this things body weight." -How come it’s always the ugly incels who want to be roasted. It’s like they hate themselves -Before I get to roast you please remove the cum stains from your body pillow -I would roast you but I can’t eat pig. -Your chin vagina needs a wax -Roast you? It's gonna be more like a luau and you're gonna have an apple jammed in your mouth. Come to think of it. It's the first time you've ever had something healthy in your gob -"I would, but I'll need to find a big enough oven." -Do you mind if I use photo 4 in a presentation for my Niece’s school? It’s titled ‘stranger danger’. -"R E Reddit, It’s in the chins" -Wan Sum Snak -No roasting. Some things are just too easy. You've had it hard enough I imagine. You know what you need to do for a start - lose weight! Join a gym. Start bodybuilding. Start eating healthier. No excuses. -"Looks like you had enough roast, bud" -"I would roast you, but I can't burn calories." -Even your beard doesnt want to stay with you -Styled his facial hair on his mums vagina…. -"I'm not going to roast you. - -I'm just going to say that I'm grateful I was doing something with my life at that age. - -I hope you can get your life on track and get away from whoever is enabling you to be this way. -Sincerely." -You look like Eric Cartman when he glued pubes to his face. -Chinese peter Griffin -Roasting you would feed the village you came from for a year -That's gonna need an industrial oven! -"How are you 15 years younger than me, but look both five years older than me and like a teenager begging me to buy them booze at the same time?" -Peter Griphong -If we roasted you we could probably develop a new biological WMD from the fumes -You'd fuckin' have to. -They should have dropped you over Hiroshima it would taken less materials -We’re gonna need some more charcoal here! -You wanna be roasted so you could try and eat yourself later -"Greenpeace keeps trying to drag you back into the water, don't they? Oh well, keep your chins up." -"I'd need a bigger oven to roast you, Piggie Smalls" -I'm sure your anime discord server members makes fun of you anyway -You chin looks like a hairy ball sack -Ultimate Virgin -Did Benny Hill do a tour in’Nam? -"…ozempic was made for you . also if your going to smile with two mouths , show some teeth 😀 (pic 4)" -Impressive chin collection -"You pose like a prisoner, but if somehow you end up in prison everyone else is gonna die by hunger" -This guy's tons of fun -Why? -Have you ever considered not eating? -You look like you fell out of the dildo tree and sucked every branch on the way down... -You look like an actor on a show that combines “Star Wars” and “My 600 Pound Life”. -Chunk -Jabba the Hu -"When someone calls the poison control center because they ingested something toxic, they show them your pictures to induce vomiting" -I would subscribe to your Only Chins -"I would, but I don’t want to start a grease fire" -https://i.pinimg.com/736x/92/05/e9/9205e95bd0abdcac19b53c78e488ff76.jpg -I bet you can’t see your mini eggroll anymore -Boy got a nutsac under his chin -"Open your eyes, man, Nandor is refusing to make you a vampire because he loves you and being a vampire is actually terrible" -Asian Peter Griffen -Kim Jong Ton -"If we roast you hard enough it's not going to be ""hell"" coming out of you, it'll be enough burned fat to sustain an eternal fire." -its literally over -I smell your dampness from my phone. -"I don't want to, you'd probably ban me" -It's really fucked up what you did to all those kids at Nickelodeon. -Kung Fu Action Movie Star Fattie Chan. -You are the perfect definition of a cornstar. -Future 80 year old virgin -That neckbeard is so sexy…. Said no one ever -The Goblin King from the Hobbit -You’re just missing the apple in your mouth for the roast to be ready. -The Goblin King from the Hobbit -Dude hasn't seen his dick in so long he probably doesn't know he's for one anymore. -Your penis is so small it’s a pinis -You look like the reason yu gi oh judges implemented the hygiene rule. -" You’ll be *actually* roasted pretty soon, so there’s no need if yk yk" -More chins than a Chinese phone book. -You are larger than average. Only those of average size are acceptable. Therefore I now mock you. Experience discomfort! -Asian Peter griffin -I smelled this post 4 scrolls before I got here. -"No need for us to roast you, my friend. Nature already did it." -How many masks did you have to wear on your double chin during Covid? -if Russell from Up grew up and just stayed unemployed in his moms basement -"Shut your discord mod, Come my kitten come to daddy, looking goofy ahh ( no offense i hope you can overcome stage 30 diabetes ☺️)" -How you find your penis ? -You look sad but kind -I would…but diabeetus beat me to it. -If One Piece was Ten Pieces. -Honestly I don’t wanna roast you. You look like you have a very kind heart. It’s probably enflamed but I’m sure you’re a nice guy. -bro looks like a busted can of biscuts -"You're built not like a pear, but a bag of pears" -I got nothing. You look like you love Mountain Dew and video games. I see no shame in that. -Are you the mod of this subreddit? -Native Peter Griffin. -"At 15min a pound, should take about 300 years" -"Damn bro. People post on this sub for a lot of different reasons. But clean up the hair on your neck. Get a haircut that compliments you better. Congrats on losing 80lbs, that takes a ton of work! Keep it up, would love to see some progress pictures by this summer. Take care of yourself and you'll feel better mentally and physically." -Holy crap your neck beard has a neck beard -Why do nonces always have half rimmed glassed and a scraggly bit of bumfluff on their neck and lip? -He got picked on so much in school he doesn't know how to go through life without it. -If I roast you. Promise me you won't ban me from every subreddits. -Ten bucks says you posted here because you thought “roast me” meant we’d give you an actual roast to eat. -Sum Ting Wong -Thanos had to snap three times for that ass 😭 -Literally average discord mod -"You poor thing man… I wish you the best in life, being a former fat kid I know how hard that life is" -Big back -I smell diabetes........... -We could yell your weight without the third or second pic also with the amount of blob you have the 1 and 4 look the same also is a miracle you haven't stained the walls yet -You look Skinnier than Tomorrow -"I think you still live with your mom, she gives you the big portions to compare her own body with yours and think I'm not that fat." -Kung Fu Pinto -"Kung fu panda, live action" -bro is enough to feed to 6XL family -it looks like you ate the verification post it -Fu Man Chuckwagon -Stop roasting marshmallows and Roast some calories -"It seems to me, that all you see…" -Why do look like hare o hare and caseohs son -"Your pics look like the before of getting plastic surgery, except these are just your normal pics." -Gender reassignment fail -You could make a gallon of tallo if we roast you hard enough -You have no beard but you manage to have an under- beard? Shit getting strange... -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -You look like the first child naturally-conceived by lesbians. -"You look like Haley Joel Osment, if Haley Joel Osment were a lesbian." -You can’t convince me this isn’t three different lesbian women. -Shouldn’t that read 10F instead of 18M? -This chick has hair under his arms. -You look like nobody wanted to molest you at Nickelodeon -"18??? -Bro looks like he still wears Huggies" -You look like you've spent half your life being 9 years old -You are what we call a “late bloomer” -Now we have to add another letter to the long list of LGBTQ....just for you. -Im confused -This lil MFer looks like Marcy Darcy. 😂 -Over here looking like a Make-A-Wish kid on their special day. -15 FtM feels more accurate. -No way we’re allowed to roast 12 year old lesbians on this site -By 18 you mean you just discovered your first 18 pubes -"If you’re 14, I’d be surprised. Not roasting. Youre just not fooling anybody here" -You look like you swap genders every week -I’m so confused. What are you? -You make me believe being both genders is possible -I doubt your 18 OR a man -Chick Van Dyke -Drives a Suburu Outback… -Your face says seven your teeth say seventy -There’s no fucking way you’re 18 or M -"You say ""18"" like anyone at all has been waiting." -Youngest McDonald’s manager ever -18M? More like 12F -You look like that bad brake dancer from Australia. -You look like you still kiss your parents on the lips. -You look like every day you throw a dart at board to choose your gender. -Looks more lesbian than actual lesbians -"At first glance, you look a lesbo who -plays ball at predominantly black high school." -You just look like a lesbian who doesn't shave their pits. -"You are transitioning to female, right?" -OP doesn't realize he needs to be able to fuck to be fuckboi. -Cant believe you haven’t gotten a septum piercing yet what kinda queer are you -"The first thing that came to mind when I saw you was that Disney movie Motocrossed, where the chick pretends to be her twin brother." -You look like you came out of a Kinder Surprise. -I support your right to box other women. -This is still a fetus. It should have to provide id. -“Male” -Whoever kidnaps you is in for a rude awakening when they find out you’re not a 10 year old girl. -You’re the Frat Boy version of Meagan Hall -You ain't no man -FTM* -18M mean 18 months? -You may identify as an m but no m would wear their hat like that in pic 1. -"1st photo looks like your unsure of yourself -3rd photo you look like a kid , I can not participate in this roast." -I’m not sure I believe either of your descriptions. -"Bro, how are you a kid woman and man all the same time???" -18F -Saw this guys pic and immediately thought I was in the r/hobbit sub. -You're the most female male I've ever seen -"Just how long have you been ""male""?" -Boyed and ready to laugh -"The face of an 8-year- old, armpits of a 30- year-old" -"Does that jersey say ""mini bottom” in pic 1. I'm so confused." -Just cuz you grow out your armpit hair doesn’t mean you can call yourself a male -"Yes, I laughed. Thanks" -You are one of those pronoun people -You look like an 11 year old lesbian -How’s that subaru of yours? -Just because you have armpit hair doesn’t mean you’re a male. -Very demure for a guy. -Did you get addicted to hormones and meth at the same time? -Didn’t know Debbie from Shameless was trans. Fun fact -That frog just met you and he's already tired of your shit. -"Just so you know, I’m an ally for FTM trans. I’m on your side. ✊ - -… and if you’re not trans, you should grow a beard ASAP." -"I don’t care what it says. Sword or sheath, fellas? Could go either way." -It has to be either in the vaccines or the bottled water cause this kinda shit that's everywhere now didn't even exist in the 1980's when I grew up.... -What was it like transitioning from a 17 year old boy to a 34 year old lesbian -Did you transition or were you just born this way -Naw Girl. -"Did you used to be a girl? - -Dear lord stay off the puberty blockers" -Nah something suspect here….im calling vag -"Wow my little sister needs to shave those armpits, sheesh." -Your pronouns are WTF/Geez -Circus freak -Don't worry you'll find love after you transition -When did you transition? -Age and gender are both lies -"Hey at least you get to keep the giant frog for yourself, huh? 🤷‍♂️" -You’ve been nonced. -Before I read the tittle I was in lesbians with you. -Ohhh you’re a boy… I get it now… that’s on me. -r/femboy -"in case you haven’t figured it out yet, your transition is halfway already." -Bro is a lesbian -No way in hell you're 18. It looks like you glued some shower drain hair to your pits and called it a day. -Now I understand why animals eat their offspring -You look gender fluid. -What is this thing?? -"I was gonna roast you, but I don’t feel like roasting a 12-year-old lesbian" -Dude wears a sports bra to his t-ball games. -"You can't 'pre-post' your Roast Me pic. Ain't nobody buying you any more than 16. You look like a pubescent girl who doesn't shave her pits. - -Edited: realized 'excessive hair growth' was a stretch." -You look like you’re about to drop the hardest Christian-rap album of all time. -even the TESTOSTERONE ran away from this LESBIAN looking dude -Looks like your balls haven't dropped yet. -Just transition already stop delaying it -Real boy or skittle haired thinks it’s a boy? -Your post title describes anyone who ever chooses to look at you naked -"Don't lie about your age kid, head back to Chuck E. Cheese." -If Benjamin Button was a lesbian -You have a mangina -You look like what lesbians aspire to be -You look like a human boy scout cookie. -I think someone replaced your flintstone vitamins with estrogen… -Are your parents lesbians AND cousins? -Who stole your lips or are they between your legs? -You're 100% born a female. -Shave those armpits girlfriend -I smell pronouns -Not shaving your pits isn’t going to make you a man. -Bro you sure you’re a dude ? -… They make toupees? … for arm pits? … and sell them to prepubescent girls??? -"At first I thought you were a girl than I saw your square shaped head then I was like, “is that Steve form Minecraft???" -She wears underwear with dick holes in em -Okay andy malinokis -WTF? -You look like a chipmonck -Gonna need to see that Adams Apple you hiding -"That's not a spongebob shirt, it really says mini bottom. His sexual preference" -Bryan hord on a basketball court at church camp. -I thought you were a girl -Do you own a Subaru by any chance? -You sure male? -Did not know the Zathura kid became lesbin -18M?!?!?! I thought OP female and is a lesbian. -You’re about as male as a light pole. -Are the first two pics your sis? Glow on -You are a woman -Just because you were assigned male at birth doesn’t mean they got it right. -Pit hair doesn’t make you a dude. Go back to Children’s theatre Li’l Orphan Annie. -You look like the introduction “Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and girls!” -"""M"".. lol, sure" -I was guessing 16F. -"I genuinely have no idea if you're a man, woman, or Crab person." -"Genuinely curious on the sex, gender, whatever the “identifier” is" -23 year old lesbian. Where’s your Subaru Outback? -"The frog in the second picture is actually the miniature one, it just looks big with him holding it." -Looks like Nickelodeon is creating people now -So androgynous that your parent’s regret not aborting you. Pick a gender so we can prep the right slur. -Listen lady… -"An 18 year old,”Male”" -“Male” -"No matter how hard you wish to be a boy, you’ll always be a disappoint to your family" -It’s Pat. -18m? More like 12yo lesbian... -These lizard people dont even try to blend in anymore. 😑 -The second picture looks like a girl but still not sure the 2 pictures -18 and already wearing dentures -The Intersex Frat Boy who's too confused about whether or not they should be in a sorority -"Not sure if you are a child, lesbian woman or middle aged man" -That last picture is giving off “18 going on 8” vibes -You look like you're trying too hard on the seeing eye posters. -Fucking hobbit on the loose! -You look like a 32 year old leabian that only has guy friends. -The mods probably needed proof of your age -Alvin the chipmunk crossed with a parade balloon. -Roast me?? I thought this was Bois! -I thought this was a girl 😕  -You look like that one girl that has transitioned to male but no matter how much you work out or how much T you take you'll always just look like the same girl but now in a basketball jersey -Hej! It’s real life Ash Ketchum… being 10 yo for 20 years! -" u look like an 8yr old girl who hit puberty too early, but only in the armpits." -You're on reddit -Does the “18M” mean 18 months? -M? -"Scott P, you know what I'm saying? No Ragrets." -"Just because there’s a „boy“ in tomboy, doesn’t make you male." -Does his shirt say power bottom...or am I just assuming -Face says 13 year-old boy. Armpit hair says 40 year old butch lesbian. -You are a human Subaru Forester. -I had to check if I already arrived at r/trans and i came here to tell you to shave your armpits if you want to look like an authentic ladyboy. -You look so young I think you had to Photoshop that hair on your armpits. -Couldn’t get a job as a mascot on the WNBL -Why does his jersey say power bottom -Someone should have slapped your parents. -M? -Hard to believe you're 18 or a man. -You look more like a 12F tbh -I’m not use to girls with armpit hair. -You look ready to be born -What transition really looks like -this set of photos could also serve as a before and after gender transition -If the Boxer Canelo and Musician Justin Bieber had a child -"I'm sorry, but you've broken Rule 3 of this subreddit. There is no way in hell you are 18." -12F or 18M -Why…. Just why… lmfao. ❤️ -How do you simultaneously look 18 AND 4? Did your mother and momma make you in a test tube? -Bro has more hair under his armpits than he ever had on his face -M? Really? -You look like one of the first boys put on puberty blockers -"Everyone, be kind. This ugly 16F posted as an 18M to bring on extra hate. Don't fall for it." -"I can hear you right now, ""C'mon guwys, take me sewiously! I'm studying for my Dwivers license and i can tie my own shwoos! I deserve a woast!""" -What the fuck -Seen more lips on a skeleton. -"You look like a ""Hey Mama, where's my hug"" kinda gal." -That’s a woman. -Still waiting on those T shots I see! -dollar store Justine Bieber -This sub-reddit is 18+ i thought. Who is this gerble? -You look like jojo siwas left nut -"Why’s this chick got hairy armpits, is she French?" -You are the first picture in project 2025 playbook -How tf your forearms bigger than your upper arms in the frog pic? -"Who hit ""pause"" on this little girl's puberty finishing?" -When did you decide you were male? -Do your mom's know what you are posting? -You uh sure it’s not 8? -Were your parents supportive of your transition? -Estrogen could be your friend -Where's the ? After 18M -You misspelled ‘31 year old lesbian’ -you look like a lesbian 10 year old in 2012 -18? Or 8? -"I'm too nice to roast, I might be boring for that but I'm proud of being this way, have a nice day :)" -I can't tell if you're trans or 13. -You look like you peaked at 12 -Next Subaru ceo -"u dress like it’s 2012, which is baffling bc u were 6 in 2012" -18FtoM. -"Girl, you don't pass" -"Oh look everybody, theres a new gender around town" -Male? Yeah right -Got the '10 year old' tomboy vibe. That's tough. You'll probably grow into the look as you get older -Are you a boy or girl? -Transgender? More like trans-vendor!!! LOL – you selling this shit like magic beans -18 or 8? -Why is this 12 year old girl saying she's an 18 year old boy? -"You look like a chick, playin a dude, disguised as another dude. - -If you spun the hat backwards you'd look like Fred Durst if he was mid-way through trans therapy." -"18? In 5 years, maybe." -comment -You are offensive to all five senses. -You look like you come home after a long day at work and snack on gravel. -"Let’s see if this works.. - -Needlejuice, Needlejuice, Needlejuice!" -I’ve seen nicer teeth on a chainsaw. -So it’s a work-from-home situation? -"Judging by your teeth and hair, I’d say your shopping cart probably has about 75k-100k miles on it. Congrats dude, that’s an achievement. You should celebrate with a shower and a fresh set of newspaper to lie down on tonight when you go to sleep." -When you say you are a “garbage man” does that mean you live in the garbage? -You’re supposed to show a picture of after you got over your addiction. -Christian Bale on meth -"Jesus, there’s a line where you just get your teeth pulled out get dentures. - -That line was three teeth ago." -"Metthew, please take care of your dental hygiene. I can smell your breath from here." -Sorry I don't have any cash -You look like you could tell the difference between double A and triple A batteries in a blind taste test -Meth is a hell of a drug. -That’s methed up -You look like you were drawn with my left hand. (I'm right handed) -"Your grill so fucked up , looks like a drive by shooting took place in that mouth ." -I can smell these pictures. -9 Before pictures but no After pics??? -This man has lived a life full of pain. -Willem Dafuq -You look like you chew on rocks because you like the taste -You think if we roast him hard enough he will gingifightus? -I appreciate the person who punched your face in 5th slide -Fleetwood Crack(head) -Is THIS what you did with the money I gave you? You were supposed to buy *drugs.* -"Dude, no. -Get help." -"""All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth""" -I feel like if I stand in front of a mirror and say trashman three times this is what will show up to eat my toenails -"""The system cannot find the teeth specified""" -You look like Macauley Culkins cousin who never made it -Christian Stale: American Metho. -A walking example of fluoride conspiracy theory -"UK’s Otis Toole (don’t know him, look it up)." -"From all 9 of your photos I think ""garbage man"" - but not as a result of your profession." -"Cricket….we know you are just going to use it for pcp - - - -Lemons" -You are supposed to throw yourself in the garbage compactor. Thats where trash goes -Your pictures have more shock value in reverse. -You look like you torture animals.... by smiling at them. -You look like your breath enters a room 30 mins before you body makes it 😂 -Must be an easy commute to work. Just hop out of the bin -I bet people move as soon as you sit next to them on public transport -"your photos are so unsettling, I feel like I need a hazmat suit just to scroll through them" -"Medicaid might be able to help with the teeth. The rest of you, not so much." -Holy shit man! Just because your a garbage man doesn't mean you have to eat it too!!! Now go home and brush your tooth. -Jack-o-lanterns carve your face into pumpkins.🎃 -This is why I support retroactive abortions. -"Hey its ok i know the truth, you didn’t smoke your teeth away with meth you sold them for crack" -Guaranteed that whatever is in your closet and/or basement would solve 3 open missing person cases -"Your face says meth man, but your teeth says British man" -Your 5 remaining teeth are like your job—missing in action and always surrounded by trash. -You look like Frodo if he didn’t destroy the ring -"Your teeth are like a jigsaw puzzle, but unfortunately, they don't seem to fit together." -Your meant to pick up the glass bottles not eat them 🤦 -You look like my brother's old math teacher... I think that's a compliment... I'm not very good at roasting. -I didn't know Willem Dafoe played a crackhead. -Your toothbrush gets frequent flyer miles. -I bet you got the cleanest house on the street. -You look like you ate a live grenade -You are every version of Florida man rolled into one!!!!! -You are the personification of ‘I’ve become my work’ -3/9 you look like CM punk on meth! -"Damn, you must do above average blowies behind the supermarket for all that meth" -This guy methed around and found out -"Man, I bet you’ve done A LOT for 20$" -If I had a pound for every tooth in your mouth I’d have 6 pounds. -"I’d make some teeth jokes, but they’re few and far between." -How can we get you some new teeth brother. You’re a handsome guy. -"I thought you were just supposed to get rid of the garbage, not eat it." -I could have swore I saw you on r/meth -At least your not gay. Male raccoons don't count -You look like a broke crack addicted Seth Rollins -So that’s what Oscar the grouch looks like all shaved. -I can smell the gum disease -I saw the thumbnail and got too scared to click. But I had to just to roast you. -Error 404 in person. -"Im not here to shit on you man, try to get it together brother and fix your teeth while you still can" -"You are literally the before picture of a ""meth is bad"" advert" -You look like one of those people that I would love to have a beer with and get some new content for my next slasher horror novel. -"Good job on getting rid of those pesky teeth, I’m sure it gives you an edge in the sucking dick for meth hustle." -You look wonderful. -You look like a retiree bum fight contestant. -At first I thought... Never open your mouth and you *might* be ok... Then about halfway through I realized you have never been ok lol -This is some weekend at Bernie’s shit. someone set up a corpse and took a bunch of pictures of it. -"I don't want to upset you, but hey, sometimes the tooth hurts." -Thanks for adding “bin man” for all the people confused by what a garbage man is. -Get off Reddit and go brush that tooth! -"You're the only r/roastme that's not shilling their only fans or fishing for compliments. - -You should be the poster boy for this sub. - -That's it. That's my roast." -Apples hate this guy -"I won't roast you, man. At this point, I can only pity what's left." -British Rasputin -You look like you can eat corn on the cob through a picket fence -"Wow, 9 pictures! You could have kept us in suspense by revealing a different tooth in each one." -Your mouth looks like a broken piano dude -"You'd be quite handsome if you changed every single thing about your looks, personality and fashion choices" -Tip for those reading: Avoid low-hanging fruit. Usually full of pests (and sometimes needles) -That's Christian Bale's uncle. -I bet your dentist is getting paid well. -If your teeth had a a phone number (8) -You mean you live in a garbage bin? I would have assumed even they had standards. -Bro looks like Skinny Pete -"you’re an anti-dentite, aren’t you!?" -Someone has had a rough life -So.....u EAT the garbage orrrrrr...... -Blows my mind that Chunk from Goonies got laid and impregnated someone. -"You're like, if Oscar the Grouch became human." -You look like you Methed around and found out. -Edward Furlong from Wish -"You're supposed to dispose the garbage, not consume it." -Whose kid did you touch to get beat that bad -Christine Bale has really gone down a rabbit hole this time. -You are a garbage man or you can from thw garbage I can't tell -"Uncle John? I thought you were dead. - -They told me you were found dead in a tent down by the river as you were living off the land in -40 weather. - -Crap, you’ve come to me in dreams and now here you are on Reddit." -Definitely going to get electrocuted stealing copper. -Jake Crackenhall -"Even without the first photo, I knew you didn't have all your teeth" -You look like you've slowly turned into your product -Bro....the sprocket on my bike has better dental hygiene than you -The Wish.com version of Christian Bale -Squirting water out of your mouth gotta look crazy. -This dude ain’t methin’ around -Think of all freebies you take home! -Pic 3 kinda looks like Danny Trejo -Crafted out of garbage -"""LESTER THE MOLESTER BRO, WE GOT OURSELVES A MILITARY HARDWARE""" -Catalytic converters fear him for this one simple trick! -"So now that you told us where you live, what is it you do for work?" -Was it the can or the bin that knocked your tooth out and broke the others? -You look like your teeth suffered through Pangea. -You aren’t a bad person you look like you help people make the right choices in life -I bet worms and cockroaches live in that mouth -"Underneath the bridge, tarp has sprung a leak - -And the animals I’ve trapped have all become my pets - -And I’m living off of grass, and the drippings from my ceiling - -It’s okay to eat fish ‘cause they don’t have any feelings" -jesus christ are you even alive. -I can smell the trash from here I take it you need more than air freshener for people to be around you. -Is garbage man how you describe yourself as well as what your job is? -Glad they brought back the faces of meth campaign... -Definition of summer teeth right there. Summer yellow summer brown summer missing -If garbage was a human being. -"Well, you are what you eat..." -It's really strange that you look a lot like humans. -Dr. homeless -CM Punk the under bridge version. -You’re supposed to pick the trash up not eat it -"I get that you're a garbage man, but what do you do for a living?" -"When Robocop wants a blowjob, you’re allowed to say no." -Those teeth can cut a 3 feet wide tree -"This should be a crime, roasting you. Its too easy. Theres nothing anyone here can say or do to compete with what life has done to you." -You have disappointed your parents -Jim Scarey -Not sure if that's a job or a species classification - I feel like going to brush my teeth now. -And this is why Healthcare insurance is important -I got to picture 6 and thought CM Punk became a heroin junky. -"Shit, man. I bet even a common house fly would feel molested just by the sight of you." -You look like if you try to whistle you would spit on everyone -Garbage man is your profession or a nickname? -Not to mention meth addict. -Where’d you find a phone at? -What can we roast that the universe has not already given you each tune you see your reflection? -"This advice might be a bit late, but you should take good care of your tooth." -Stop eating the garbage you're supposed to collect. -That’s a winning smile…. For a meth head -"You didn’t have to tell me you’re a garbage man, I could have guessed " -"Officer: “so needle or pipe?” -You: “why not both? 🤷‍♂️”" -This is CM Punk if he was very NOT straight edge -It's like a human racoon -"Dude has summer teeth. Summer green, summer brown and summer missing" -How much do you spend on meth per day? -You look like you've been feeding on the lies that Trump feeds your demographic -Ho Lee fuck… -You roasted yourself. -Your teeth are like the bins.. one every few yards! -I dont even want to roast you I think you look like a cool dude whos probably chill and funny and nice -In the 3rd pic you look like Murphy the DEA agent that took down Escobar -"Why did you post of picture of you crying?? Were you coming down or trying to get free drugs from your dealer. - -Pretty sure you’re crying in the 6th picture…" -When you think you’re a garbage man but you’re really just white trash -So some people are born to come to the office for entertainment and others are born to work from home remotely forever and you're one of them. -I just can't. This is too easy. -"Wish.com asmongold - -""We have asmongold at home""" -You've become the very thing you swore to collect. -Looks like shaggy upgraded from the ganj -The craziest part is your front tooth is smack dab in the middle. So even if you had all your teeth they'd still be off center and fucked up. They modeled Sloths mouth from the Goonies after you. -"Your Post history suggests you're concerned about paranormal activity. I wouldn't worry, that strange rattling noise you're hearing is just your last 3 teeth threatening to fall out." -"You look EXACTLY how I imagine a flat-earther looks. - -Oh wait.." -Sid Philips from Toy Story on Reddit? Blow up any kids toys lately? -"If I were to scan the gap in your mouth, which song would come up on Spotify?" -"You have kind eyes. - -Just giving you a little self esteem back so the comments you read after mine can rip it away again." -They call him Ditch Mitch -"Best example to ""you are what you eat""" -You look like skinny Pete’s father -Leave some meth for the rest of us -Meth is a terrible drug -I happen to think you’re cute. when you’re not showing those teeth I mean. -"Hey man, go get some dental implants before the bone around your mouth atrophies and it's too late. - -/constructive criticism." -"Nah bro, you meth man" -You look like the methhead my nephew drew (He’s 2) -"Roast him all you want but dude is wealthier than most billionaires. Dude found and knows the secret to being a happy man. - -I buried my partner and was forced to cease all contact with her daughter almost 2 years ago man. Nurture and cherish your family it’s the only thing that matters." -"Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's methamphetamine..." -"Idk why seeing these makes me so sad (I know it’s asked for) but I don’t have a roast, I think you look like a genuine nice man and I hope you have a great day." -"the love child of Prince Charles and Wayne Rooney, after getting beat down by football hooligans" -Real question is how does someone’s teeth get like this? -"Brother i can’t roast you - -as fucked as your life might be you probs make more money than i do takin trash - -no matter what ya’ve done ya did somethin right" -You look like my last 5 tinder dates -I’d say it’s the inside that counts but nobody’s that nice. -I’m actually impressed you know how to operate Reddit.. -"You literally look just like the homeless meth head that raides the dumpsters at the hotel I work at every morning. Like, it's uncanny" -"I came here to laugh bro, this shit just made me sad 😞" -"Nice try Hunter, not falling for these undercover govt tricks" -Too easy -I'm not going to bad mouth you....God already did. -Makes 150k a year but smokes 200k in crack to keep up with his “job” -You look like Christian Fail. -I can’t inflict any more damage than that you’ve done yourself. -"""Mr. President, they've hit the other tooth. His mouth is under attack.""" -Lookin like Mondays don’t matter! -Looks like Manson had a kid with Mama June -Rick James will probably say that cocaine is no hell of a drug compared to meth after he sees you. -Best thing I’ve read all day. -Bro couldn’t afford a piece of paper he had to rip open the Band-Aid box. Be careful don’t lose them. You need them to cover your track marks up. -The second-to-last picture shows your best facial features. -"I'll actually pass on you, life's roasted you enough." -You were great in MIB. -You look like a cult leader. -Teeth look like a picket fence at a haunted house... -Look at the bright side: after you die from an overdose you'll finally be sober! -Did you write roast me both ways bc you don’t know how mirrors work? -You’d think if you were down to your last 3 teeth you’d baby them a little bit. Not this fucker! -bro looks like eminem if he never made it outta 8mile -Bro looks like the average Mac Donald worker -You know how I can tell you're English? -Man my teeth look fucking great I gotta stop complaining -Mate put the damn needle down. You look like Gollum. -"Not a roast, but just a (not so) fun fact, people with non-brown eyes are far more likely to be addicts. Something like 70-80% of people in the US have brown eyes; something like 80-90% of addicts do not have brown eyes." -Garbage bin man??? I think you were supposed to say what you did for work not where you live. Tho judging by your teeth I wouldn't be surprised if instead of living in a trash can you ate them. -"If homelessness was a video game, you would be the last person to fight to get a tent" -Your teeth look like a cartoon character when they get hit by a hammer -You have a fence on your mounth man! -"If this is a cry for help, can you please keep it down." -Teeth that looks like a bag of smashed crabs. -You've lost so many teeth your tongue looks like it's in jail. -What drugs haven't you taken? -"Honestly, I know you look rough on the eyes etc, and I don't know, but I get the vibe you are a good honest dude" -The meth bigs are evident and is that jam from a jelly donut you found in the dumpster under your nose or did you pulp fiction it -"If Shane Macgowan hadn’t already looked like the dollar store Shane Macgowan, then you would look like the dollar store Shane Macgowan." -You look like why Christianity failed to take over the world -Is your dad the president of the United States? -I think I knew where the chew marks on my bin came from now.... -Whose phone did you use? -The positive thing is the rate your teeth are falling out you’ll be able to floss with rope -He’s just bi-curious if you have any more drugs. -how are you attractive yet extremely ugly at the same time? -Everything about you is a war crime -How many fingers do you have? -My guy I can’t roast you. Imagine the smell. -"On a serious note, I’d like to encourage you to get your teeth fixed. It will literally change your life for the better. People underestimate how their oral health affects their overall health and well being. Not to mention mental health and self esteem. I can’t imagine that they don’t hurt. You owe it to yourself. - -*worked in dentistry for 30 years so I’ve seen a lot." -"Oh man, did you really need to upload all those photos? One was enough Buddy" -I think God has already roasted you -You look like you’d vote for Biden and Camelltoe Harris -8-6-7-5-YOU-0-9 -Nothing to roast. I see your gentle soul.....through your teeth -Fuck... thanks for the self esteem boost. I ain't even gonna jab at ya. I don't wanna catch my knuckles on your snaggle tooth. -Harris supporter -I honestly wouldn’t mind if YOU were playing wonderwall on some randomer’s guitar at 5am at some mental gaff whilst I reassess my bad life choices….you look fun….love the rizla improvisation bud 👌 -You seem like a very energetic and fun person -"You look EXACTLY like a guy who randomly hears his kitchen drawers closing, voices talking through the walls, thinks aliens or ghosts are ""tripping up"" your daughter, and is an active member of flat earth subreddits." -Crack says no to you. -First class hobo✨ -"It’s off topic but you can get free dental care at any dental school. They’d be thrilled you let them work on you with a set of teeth like that. Just be super nice, bring the secretaries some cookies, and tell them you’d appreciate their help. You’ll get a $100k dental work up for free. People have no idea…" -"Shane McGowen without the songwriting chops, just his physical chops." -Why you gotta be so crazy Karl -I have a teeny tiny inkling that you might believe the earth is more 'plate' than 'sphere.' -"What would you say is the most exciting part of the day, the early morning line at the methadone clinic or the late morning lineup at the police station" -"Better to have remained mouth close and appear normal, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." -"“Yes Andrea, I think I’ve found the Cover Model for the 2025 edition of ‘The BIG book of British Smiles’ “" -"Guy introduced himself this way, people still ask what he does for a living" -James Franco I use to enjoy your work -"I'm sorry I can't make roast, your life has treated you badly enough." -Set up a gofundme and myself and sure other Reddit folk will help you get some teeth . Gotta be a way to keep ya from spending that $ on hard drugs though… -You look British. -That uneven mustache looks like a child's disguise. -You don’t need a ancestory test to know he’s British all the way back -Stop bro . Take the Roast down. I could’ve lived my whole life without seeing you -"Hey man, life is tough but I believe in you and I know you will find the peace and joy that has been missing. -Good luck homie and take it easy on yourself 👍🏾" -"""Mom can we have James Franco?"" - -""We have James Franco at home"" - -*JAMES FRANCO AT HOME*" -You can use your teeth to remember which months have 30 days and which have 31. -It's awesome when you don't smile but you know that. Yer probably a cool dude to hang out with though. -You look like Myles Kennedy but if the guitar player from Creed Bashed his teeth in with his Gibson! FYI Myles Kennedy is a good looking dude you got good things going for you! -Your mouth looks like a cemetery after an earthquake. -"Damn. A.I. even gave it a try by throwing an ad under the picture: ""Jesus loved the unnoticed, the undervalued, the unwelcomed."" - -Anyway, I see Meth Green fell on hard times after he blew through his money from The Italian Job." -It was chromas eve babe in the drunk tank and old man said to me won’t see another one -Wow! I bet that you are a real chick magnet. -What's left to roast? -Woah the gameshark kid grew up -Meth went to rehab after this -"This dude is a great sport. He's even participating. 😂😂 -I bet he's a cool ass dude in person. 💯" -"with yr mouth closed and ur hair messy you kinda look like if Trent Reznor decided the mistaken for coke heroin lines were actually the way to go 😔 - -I'd say be careful on 'The Downward Spiral' but ik the trash can you came out of doesn't have the room for a spiral staircase !! 😭 Nor do you have the balance... - -Ain't nobody getting 'CLOSER' to that !!!" -I don’t even got kids but I wouldn’t trust you around them -At least you have your collar buttoned like a gentleman -Skinny Petes doing well since Heisenberg died -comment -Keep this up and your parents will also leave you for your brother. -All of what you typed was obvious from the photo. -That poor girl. That's a gene pool you don't want to take a dip in. She's done it twice. -Looks like she forgot her wig when she dumped you. -Johnny NO Cash -Is this an AI generated image of Failure? -You look like you're one shave and a cry away from an OF account and sleeping with your brother to get back at your ex. -You look like someone pressed randomize in a character select screen. -Damn even Jesus has it rough -You’re the Flea Market Dave Mustaine -None of that excuses the hair. You look like a white trash Jesus. -Under a black light I bet that room look like a Jackson Pollock painting -The bedroom in your trailer looks like a crime scene. -Sorry your sister left you for your brother. 🤔 -I imagine living with the overwhelming disappointment that you are is doing more damage to your parents health than cigarettes never could. -"OP’s Bio: - -I can’t play guitar but I love wearing guitar shirts. Me and my girlfriend live in my brothers trailer, I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid from the weed but I’m pretty sure the cops were here yesterday because we couldn’t afford to renew the registration on our trailer for the last few years. Since I lost my drivers license I couldn’t afford to pay my brother rent for the past 6 months. He told us to get out, then amazingly my girlfriend said she was able to work things out with him and we are all caught up in the rent. My World of Warcraft subscription expired Tuesday of last week, so I’ve been just sitting here listening to my old Lenard Skinnard CD that I put in my old Jeep radio. Sometimes when I’m high I hear my girlfriend and brother screaming at each other, they get really loud and passionate discussing the rent. They even bang on the walls and stuff. I wish they could get along better. She’s such a good girlfriend. I heard her say the other day that’s she’s afraid of me finding out…..she loves me so much she doesn’t want me to know she’s been paying the rent for us. Once my dad dies we will have a trailer of our own and can collect rent from one of our friends and be able to live large and eat at Applebees once a week, maybe even twice if we keep the bill down. It’s great being white, free, and American. -P.S.: - -Can any of y’all spot me like $20 for a vape refill I’m out and getting jittery, my brother said not to ask him again, - -Thanks in advance" -"Oh wow, what a brooding, tortured soul. Nobody gets him. Life is pain, and he welcomes it. - -And then there’s those gay ass Christmas lights." -White privilege didn’t even want him -can't imagine the smell in this trailer -How did the piss get all the way through to the 2nd mattress? -"You look like you've asked a DJ at a club more than once to play some ""Fuckin' Foghat""" -Get a off the weed and apply for a job -You got barbie doll hair and beard. Did you any chance pluck it out of dolls and stitched to your head? I just made it to a question for being bit polite. -Hillbilly hippy with bed bugs -"Unemployed, sex less, one giant fucking loser, and looks like Jesus what a combination." -You just listed loads of things wrong with you and instead of going out and bettering yourself you've come on here to be roasted by strangers. There's no point trying to make fun of you - your entire life is a joke. -She was never your girl. She just used your dumbass as a steppingstone to get to your brother. -"Bro, stop doing weed (it's sapping you of all ambition), get a job, get a girlfriend... - -You can do better if you want to. - -I mean, you probably don't, because of all the weed... but still." -"You look like shit, keep up the shit work." -Discount Rob Zombie. -"You look like God from Monty Python, except significantly less accomplished" -nah i think ur bed has been through worse -"Well, thank you for taking a break from huffing that familiar scent from your brothers underwear to post here." -“Heavy marijuana user”… thank you very much mr obvious. -You look like one of those women with beards from the circus -Poor dude roasted himself the best. -The sixth member of Nickelback. -What's with the witness protection program look -Head up your full of 1970s folk rock band promise. Learn the bass and go on a drug fueled sabbatical to San Francisco and keep writing lyrics. Peace man. -And like Jesus he hung out with whores -"What’s the weather like down in Alabama? Annnd, there’s a “crunchy battle sock” in those sheets, isn’t there?" -You've definitely 5 star every song on guitar hero -"Why does every ginger have a better brother? and lives in their moms basement? This isn’t a roast I genuinely want to know? Christ you even have the same beard and hair style. Bedroom, the posters and the single bed….maybe it’s a genetic thing. The coincidences are too much. Hope your name isn’t Colin too." -Jesus reincarnated. You like to dress up like him in robes when no one's looking. You drag a cross everyday just to get the letters from your mailbox. -Kurt Cobwait -"I can tell you live in the Midwest, that covers everything." -Jethro Tull has been trying to serve you some official documents. Please call their lawyer. -I like the Eminem poster. -"You roasted yourself, nothing I say beats your everyday reality" -I can smell that photo. Smells like disappointment and stale jizz. -"""...raised on the third day in accordance with his bladder, the step-sibling tags of PornHub and the promise of a bong rip. Amen.""" -Devil’s rejected reject -"#WhiteTrashJohnnyCash has a good ring to it, actually." -"Hey. With Jesus all things are possible for you. He loves ya and wants you to have a great life. Call out to Him to help you...ask Him to prove Himself to you. ""All who call on the name of the Lord shall be saved."" You're young. You have a whole life ahead of you that can be worthwhile and positive." -"Damn, just move to the cities, eat some acid and then go roofy your brother to get even. And stop combing your hair. Pat dry that shit then just air dry it so you have some curls, use less shampoo and a cherry tomatoes worth of conditioner. Advice-Roast" -"fuck you Eric,leaving you was the best decision I ever made!" -Average movie uncle right there -Yo nervana called and they want their lead singer back -I know this is a roast page but I’m jealous of how impeccable your hair is -Be honest...how many times have you listened to Photograph by Nickelback? -Being honest your Viking pretty. Find yourself a non ho hippy chick with dirty feet and be happy. -U kinda look like Jesus turned water into meth -This is what Jesus would look like if he came back in the 90's during the grunge era -I can't roast what's already been burnt. -I’m guessing you’ve spent some time on the incel forums? -"A roast is supposed to be good natured fun. This would be punching down in a way I don’t like. Get a job, get an education, stop with the pot, take responsibility for yourself, grab the bull by the horns. Life is gonna go fast and if you’re even vaguely intelligent you’ll be filled with regret if you keep this up. First thing: stop smoking weed. It zapping your motivation and making you comfortable with being shit and you don’t even notice it." -I think you roasted yourself well enough for now pal -Lookin’ like a white trash jesus on meth -I hope this serves as a good before photo. -You roasted yourself. Nothing left for us to say. -Even Eminem looks disappointed in you -Your brother is your parents' and girlfriend's favorite -You look like you run a yoga cult in India or Thailand for deluded new agers -You look like a gay diversity hire for the new season of Vikings. -"The band’s gonna make it, meeeaaaaannn" -Every white girls jealous of your hair -Who knew the return of the messiah would start like this -"Hate to break this to you, but your brother gets everything in your parents' will, and you get nothing because you are such a disappointment to them." -You're good. -If you don't get it together you're gonna have more of the same... more nothing. What a fucking loser. -"Man, I bet you fuckin loved listening to some uncle kracker" -Bro you slow cooked yourself a long time ago -Texas Wept. -You look like if Rhett from Gmm and Jared Leto had a baby -"Upgrade to shrooms, you already look the part" -At this point I'd say it's Cobain time bro! You got this! -Jesus from wish! -I wish you took care of anything the same way you take care of your hair -"You're like a depressed modern day blonde Jesus, with unwashed jeans." -"The whole picture just screams - -26m, unemployed, still live with my parents, only ever been with one girl and she left me for my brother, heavy Marijuana user - -There was no need for that description at all. - -Just to let you know. You have peaked, this is it. It is all downhill from here. - -Then on day you find, ten years have got behind you . . ." -Bro is the face of Reddit -Extra chromosome Jesus -I didn't know the lead singer from nickelback had it that rough -And I thought my life sucked... -"26 going on 1973. - -Cut your hair, get a job, - - quit the,""pot""" -"The 90's are calling, they want their mattress back" -Z.Z. Bottom -You look like you use mane and tail horse shampoo. -Unemployed and looking inbred with several deformities. God damn you really got the short straw in life. -"Can't roast you, you got a johnny cash tee shirt on so I know you alright. -But I will laugh at you wearing your sisters socks." -It looks like you snuggle with that Eminem poster. -Damn bud what are you still doing here? 😂 -Wearing socks from a trampoline park out and about is the worst thing here. -You’re going to have one hell of a comeback story someday -Finally found my neighbours lost golden retriever....thank u so much reddit🤓🤓 -You look like you wear a bra and panties under your clothes. Did she leave you cause she caught you wearing her clothes? -"All of the above was enough, get out of your fucki.n.g bed and do something about your life. I am sincerely saying this, you need to find a job, and brake the contact with your brother cause wtf. Marijuana is fine but not when you do it like a hippie but actually being just an idiot with no money or future. Get out of your bed and make a life for yourself. You might think that it's fine to do nothing and live at your parents expense but no girl will want you that way. Maybe you don't want one that's not on me to judge but you seriously need to get a grip on your life. Do something. Also it was not a roast, just trying to get you out of sad life" -"That room looks like it smells of cat piss, mould and BO. Also why tf are your jeans so dirty. Have you been trying to fuck a mudhole? - -(Not roasting here I like your hair)" -Your hair is awesome -"Calm down Nickelback it's not 2001 take that fucking chain off and probably best you remove the posters that were ""cool"" when you were 8 and please stop playing Papa Roach on repeat full volume when you drive through town. Ever heard of a washing machine or a shower? I can smell this picture and I'm not surprised you got the boot." -In training to be a burden of the state. -“MOM!!! Can you Johnny cash app me like 20 bucks for weed?” -Get a life due! Get rid of the weed and you might stop looking like one! -Nickelbottom -Even Emnem looks depressed to be seen with you -I like your hair ngl -"Ok ya grungy fuck you aren’t even trying in life! For starters, put on some clean pants and make your bed. How does it feel to be wiener cousins with your brother? On the plus side, you do have great hair. I bet you get hit on by dudes that see you from behind." -I think Rhett from Good Mythical Morning had some fun a while ago and told no one. -"What are you still doing home Sven? Grab your axe and helmet, we're setting sail for England soon!" -What do you mean unemployed? Don't you host Good Mythical Morning? -That's a boy named Sue if ever I saw one. -Scruffy little drug addict -Your hair looks like lavender but smells like strawberries. -Even Eminem is looking at you in disappointment -We have good mythical morning at home -You look like Rhett from good mythical morning if he was homeless -Is your mom Cher? -Rock and roll Jesus! -Nirva...nah -Get some matching bedding budget Waylon Jennings -I will not surprised if you end like curt Cobain -"Gorgeous hair, bro" -Good Methical Morning! -"After seeing this, I decided I needed to quit weed" -At least you have rock n roll bro -Goldie locks getting ready to take 3 bears. -I seen you hanging around my grandmas church -Brush Jesus from Wish.com -"Between the wig and wallet chain, 1999 is regretting everything right now." -Anxiety sucks I feel ya bro -I could have guessed all those facts about you. -You have locks of gold -Tell us something we dont know -Hasn’t life roasted you enough? -Brother that hair is absolutely amazing! I ain't roasting you. -It’s time bro. It’s time. I don’t even have to say it. You already know. It’s time. -"Didn't you form a band with Gary Rossington, Al Collins and Ronnie VanZandt??? It was called Lynyrd Skynyrd right?? I got tickets for your next flight." -Life has already roare roasted you. I don't want to pile on -Bro is a viking😂😂 -Your hair is honestly amazing. -Red dead rejected -I hope you find the courage to do better in life 🙂 -We do not need to roast you...you are already baked -This lady has a nicer beard than me -At least she left you her hair 👍🏽 -Kurt kobaint -Political ad for anti-weed law. -"If you look, you’ll see the homeless version of Thor" -Man! Your entire situation is completely methed up! -"I like your shirt. - -Get a haircut. Get a job. You're a disappointment to your parents. You're a burden to your mother. She's the one who bears the brunt of your laziness." -"Thor's other brother Thaddeus Odinsson. - -Has none of the powers, terrible with a hammer, and gets drunk off non alcoholic beer due to a gene defect. - -Also, hair looks mysteriously like a wig. So it's either a shitty wig, or shittier hair. - -Boom roasted." -"Your job interview: ""So tell me Mr Joshzilla, why did you feel you could apply for this job and come in here looking like Jesus Christ?"" - -You: ""Hey, I'm Jesus! When do I start?""" -Dave Cumstaine -You didn't have to tell us you are unemployed..... or any of the rest. We can tell. I can smell you from here. -"Edge Jesus, you got this... You did it for our sins" -I can smell your room through the picture -JESUS CAME BACK -Are you a real life Joe Dirt? -"""And this bed is just right.""" -You can’t say she left you if she is still chained up just out of view. You scary motherfucker. What the fuck is up with that wig? Jesus Christ. -"Somehow (I know how), I could tell all the information you shared just by looking at your picture." -Sorry to hear your sister left you man -WWJD? -"Nothing to say , gods given you a total beatdown already . I’ll pray for you Brother ❤️" -Why are you wearing a wig -"You can read and listen all these other comments… Or you can listen to somebody that has clarity,  and will tell you the truth. I’m in a good place. I’m older,  I don’t have everything. I don’t have a lot of money but I do have family. And that’s where it’s at so you need to work on your relationship with your family. I see a lot of pain in your eyes, I think this is a cry for help. So you need to ask yourself one question ? Am I happy with where I’m at? If you are then, no worries. Ignore everything I’m telling you. If you’re not happy, then you need to make changes to your life and that includes being responsible. Getting a job, paying your bills deciding if you  should move out. Looking for a girlfriend? Well maybe you should look other  places than  where you already do. Partying is not gonna find you a decent girlfriend. Roasting you does no good because you’re 26 years old. This is not where you’re ultimately going to be in your life. This is just where you happen to be at the moment. You need to decide what you think you should do with your life.. only you can determine that,  no one else whether they roast you, or give you advice can actually tell you what it is you need to do. as my father told me 1000 years ago…. it’s your bed, you made it… Now lie in it. Or change things." -Someone died hating you -"Look at this photograph -Every time I do, it makes me laugh -How did our eyes get so red? -And what the hell is on Joey's head? -And this is where I grew up -I think the present owner fixed it up -I never knew we'd ever went without -The second floor is hard for sneaking out -And this is where I went to school -Most of the time had better things to do -Criminal record says I broke in twice -I must have done it half a dozen times -I wonder if it's too late -Should I go back and try to graduate? -Life's better now than it was back then -If I was them, I wouldn't let me in" -It sounds like you've roasted yourself enough for all of us -I think I'd rather just smoke with you on zoom -Is it really leaving you if all she did was go down the hall? -You could have just said you were 26 with a Mt Dew addiction. It would have been quicker. -"You can do better, with some help. You’re worth it. I judge your ex and your brother, that’s horrible trauma they caused you. I’m sorry." -bro get a job... and a new brother -My man looks like low budget Rob Zombie and Jesus at the same time. -"So, a late bloomer are we? - -Plus you look like the dude from Rhett and Link." -Bro looks like he gonna raid English coastline. -You look like the alternate version of rhett from GMM who never made it big -Discount Rob Zombie. -Stop being a redneck and your problems will disappear -God that fucking hair and color. Cut it or color it….look like a goddamn barbie doll hair from the 80s. Uffa and I bet the hair and beard reeks of nasty homegrown bong water and rotten eggs. Now go out in the world and beg in front of target. -Go Skynyrd ! -How well is the insulation in those shipping containers? -Jesus after the Johnny Cash concert -Johnny Hash -You look like you’re in a Kansas cover band -Slob Zombies -Can I roast your brother instead. Now there are lines you just don’t cross. He’s a real dirtbag. -that wig doesnt fit you too well sir -Bro got kicked out from music band got no band to Tie his Hair -Kurt Cobain if he never made it -Why are you wearing a wig? -Johnny no cash. -Temu Jesus over here looking for sinners. -GF dodged a bullet -Dave Mustaine and James Hatfield’s secret love child! -bros majestic -Go kick your brother in the head -Stay Away From Children!!! -"Jesus Christ man… - -Is that you?" -"Okay you want me tocroast you well hear it is. If you don't get your of brand Logan Paul tail up out of hear. Oh you thought I was was done, it look like you do drug's,weed,cocaine,and it look like if somebody hit you you'll snap like a twig. Bad hand righting I'm still in school 🎒📚and I still got better hand righting. Looking like NOT Logan Paul. Tried to be Logan Paul but you turned into Logan if he did crack. I hope you like my roast 🔥🔥, BY" -Your brother and your ex sit around and talk shit about you while they bang. They actually turned making fun of you into a drinking game where every time they mention something “loser” about you they take a shot. Only thing is they usually get hammered with in the first 5 mins. Your parents don’t blame your ex or your brother for their actions. You’re a “piece of poopoo” and deserved it. -Are you sure your choice in sox hasn't got anything to do with your girl leaving you? -What I'd like to see workin in a wig shop -So you're basically the epitome of wasting space. Jesus. -Did she quack like a duck when ya fucked? -You look like the girl from allstar -Johnny no cash version the best rock bank no rolls ever there -Fresh back from wig shopping with Joe Dirt. -"Bro I knew all that as soon as I saw this picture. You look like Beyoncé and her new country hit pisses you off so badly you go commit a hate crime on any ethnicity while jamming ""Skynard""." -Mushrooms on the ceiling disgusting -Floor; the god of basement dwellers -"Goldilocks, goldichops." -Margot Robbie hair -Ew -"Cool wig. Keep it on, and you can easily find work out there." -The worst part of your outfit are those socks yuck -Dave Mustystain -METHIAH -You started jacking off your brother. Gross. -Need that chain to make sure your balls are still there? -I think your parents might become fucking Roman soon. -I bet you don’t wash your hands after taking a shit -You look like the painting of Jesus that hangs on the wall of all white supremacist club houses. -Nah I think you've about covered it -"You can’t even stick to a genre of music let alone a routine, you look like the love child of Courtney love and Chad Kroeger, you literally take the skyn out of Skynard, you are every lyric in the song Stan. I bet those fuckin fairy lights beat to gentle strum in your fuckin foreskin as you choke wank yourself like Michael Hutchence chasing the high from last nights show all over again. - - -EDIT: Sorry that was way too harsh. Michael Hutchence was a fucking legend." -You look like a bad nightmare... -Trailer park Jesus -The Second NOT “coming” -The messiah in Methlehem. -The front cover of the 2024 trans edition of Goldilocks and the 3 bears. -Is your name Linnered Focking Skinnered ? -You might have only been with one girl but I think that grungy mattress has seen a hundred -I don’t understand why you would wear a wig to look *more* like Chad Kroger of Nickelback. -"I actually think the title sounds like the best made up roast achievable, you win" -If you’re gonna rock a spirit Halloween wig why pick ginger? -"You probably smell like feet,cigarettes,and unwashed grundle" -this seems too easy -No money..no license...WTF do you need a chain wallet for? -"Having long hair and fucking your hand doesnt count as having ""been with 1 girl""" -"just get a costume and pretend youre jesus on the street, also helps if youre in a bigger city. might help you meet some new people and make a couple of bucks." -"Jesus but blond. -Otherwise, I advise you to find a hobby like game dev or drawing pixel art that you can probably turn into a career if you're dedicated. It will also keep you busy from consuming drugs. -If you wanna start game development, there are 3 easy choices: GDevelop, GB Studio (make gameboy games without coding), or Godot (requires coding, but it's easy enough). -And for pixel art, there is a book ""Pixel Logic - A Guide to Pixel Art"". -Have a great day :)" -"Dude, stop dying your hair and smoking weed. In that order." -"You roasted yourself, we are all just in agreeance." -Do you sell Hackidu cards? -"Why don’t you go multiply some fish and bread, or turn some water into wine or something before Mary and Joseph kick you out?" -"Jesuuuuuus, don’t want me for a sunbeam" -"U have nice hair , your girlfriend thought she was in a lesbian relationship with you ...that's why she went off with any guy she saw nearby" -You knew she had low standards but you've now fallen below what even she could tolerate. -"What are you, one of the Hansens brothers?" -When you say your girlfriend left you...you mean you switched hands! -Are chain wallets coming back? Mom! Get the boxes -The pothead messiah -Johnny Cash wore black for the working man as stated in the song. Take that off and quit disrespecting him with your lazy ass -Was that girl called Mary Magdalene? -Sorry to hear about your sister leaving you for your brother - smell in that room is coming through my phone 🤢 -If the Victim card was a picture. -Layne Stale -Dude your brother? Wtf -You look how my crusty cum sock smells -Let's give the Muslims another reason to hate Jesus why don't we!? Let's make him ginger.... -You look like an ear wax covered toothpick -Bro looks like chad kruger gave the nickle back -"JFC, I'm sure you'll rise back up in 3 days. All good." -"Jesus bro, you left nothing for us, are you alright?" -"Congrats, this is literally the moment you peaked in life. It’s all downhill from here" -You give white privilege a bad name -"your title is so pathetic i can't even roast you, sorry man" -Meet Johnny Hash. The man in beige. -You know why you've only been with one woman right? -Wanna join my band? Perfect CV. -You failed to say your parents trailer house is getting repossessed -Also got a boxspring -"Ginger Jesus has all of the hallmarks of the reason abortion should be legal, nay - encouraged." -How did you fit a bed that size in a trailer? -Fuckin loser -I bet you cum Monster -"u look like theres vomit on your sweater,already, moma sphaghetti." -"Limp dick shit. -Johny no cash -Linkin Barf -NickelScat -Hep Leopard" -"You're a heavy marijuana user? No way, really? you hide it so well! Anyway, Mr Christ, go back to the cave you were resurrected in, the decor would be nicer than that shit hole you live in" -I just feel bad for you bro -Are you the brother or sister -refused to move on from high school ✅️ -When you look up reddit user in the dictionary. -"You just roasted yourself,probably the biggest achievement in life you'll have. - -👏" -What bet did u loose? -Turn water into wine and make a side hustle with that… you will get out of Joseph and Mary’s crib soon dawg -"Just looking at your photo makes me feel dirty, I gotta take a shower now" -I’ll hold back. You look like this roast might just push you over the edge. -This picture smells like an old ash tray -You look like gay Jesus in 2024 coming out with pronouns he / gay -comment -Banned from all local fast food places with ball pits  -I just turned 32 and you look about the same age as my dad -Those eyes tell me you've switched from booze to meth 😟 -It’s never too late to relapse. -Congratulations on your journey to becoming alcohol and hair free. -Congrats on being sober!! Hopefully any women you hit on arent..... -Hell yeah dude. Maybe one day you will get to touch a woman! 🤙 -Bro is fighting over a beanie baby collection in a divorce. -"I'd drink too if I looked like the ""inconceivable"" guy from Princess Bride with a bad case of beetus" -You look like a 55 year old cable guy -At least the back of your head is safe from sunburn. Should just shave the rest off and fully embrace having a penis head and skin cancer -"I’m not roasting you. Well done on 9 months. Just gone 500 days here. One day at a time 🩵 - -And happy cake day" -"If I looked like you, I'd probably be a drunk, too." -36?! Are you sure you didn’t forget two decades whilst you were pissed? -George Costanza's 'special' little brother -"Time to get back on the liquor bud, there’s nothing about you worth being sober for." -So now I know what Wallace Shawn would look like if he grew a goatee…inconceivable! -Mans stare could pierce the ozone layer -I'm older than you and you somehow look both younger and older than me at the same time. -"In one week, you’ll be 37, try not to suck any dick on the way out to the parking lot." -"Sober for 9 months, -Loser for 443 ¾ months" -"Sobriety is great, too bad no one who would ever touch you will be." -Does AA also help you recover your hair? -Bradley Cooper if he was an alcoholic who let himself go (and also had five women trapped in his basement) -Reddit is not the right hobby to pick up to fill the alcohol void man 😂 -You don’t look a day over 45 -Ironically you're the guy girls use to measure how drunk they are -No I will not roast you happy birthday bro -na man congrats but your hairline is up your ass -"I suspect it was alcohol that quit you, but give it hell, brother. Well done." -Congrats you bald bastard -"Congratulations on your sobriety. Well done. - -Commiserations on your appearance. Just stay indoors." -Define sober. -"If you're 36, I'm 16!" -Quitter. -you look like someone who change gender to get in save places for woman lol -" -I feel like you’re an AA sponsor who has so much hope in your sponsees that you can’t even see that they’re drunk when you go for a coffee with them on a Sunday at 9 AM and they reek of booze. You’re likely to be the guy who knows everyone in AA and everyone knows you and love you back, and you’r such a good guy NOW that everyone almost forgot you punched your boss in the face at the Christmas party and puked on his 900$ suit." -You're not even the Wish Jason Alexander...more like the rejected TEMU version that they keep in a back closet -So glad I don’t have to listen to your dumbass drunk stories anymore. #brutal #wereallpullingforyoutrustme -"If I had to see that face in the mirror every day I'd become a fucking drunk, too." -Were you disappointed when you joined the Boy Scouts that there were no awards for pornography or grooming? -You have the healthy glow of a Salaried Korean with Asian Flush. -Why stop drinking if you’re just gonna substitute it with crack? -All I see is a big lens reflection glare near the center of a cabinet. -"Well, don’t look in the mirror You’ll start drinking again." -A fish has more going in his life -Did you used to balance all the six packs on your head for ease of access -If I looked like you there’s no way in hell I could stay sober. Congrats. -You look like the alcoholic uncle that everyone avoids at the family reunion -"For your birthday, I hope you get that new liver you’ve been needing. 🙏🏻" -"I’d love to know your rock bottom moment from 9 months ago. Involved either a restraining order, or you running away from a camera saying “she said she was 18”" -Treat yourself to a drink on your… hmm 🤔 -"Half a head of hair, half a beard…betting after all the alcohol, it’s also half a brain…" -So you stopped bringing one six pack of India pale ale to the BBQ? -"sorry, was it the alcohol or your hair you gave up??" -He doesn't drink anymore......but he doesn't drink any less either -Your head is shining like a star dude -"If I looked like you, I would still be drinking. (Congrats on being sober!)" -Congratulations on the 9 months. Sorry about your ...well ....everything. -"Congratulations on the sobriety, hopefully it will eventually uncross your eyes" -You look like Bradley Cooper after nuclear fallout. -"First of all congrats on being sober. - - -2nd just give the hair up my guy." -"Aww you are 36, congratulations. Is your hairline turning 66?" -Is Your hair is trying to follow everyone’s lead and leave? Sometimes you got to let it go. -I hope you don't fall of the wagon like you fell from the stroller when you were a baby. -"It’s always heartwarming to see a picture of a former alcoholic go through a huge glow up during their journey through recovery. - -This is not one of those photos." -You look like Danny Devito beat one off on Phil Collins drums… -Didn’t I see you in Dragon Age? -the bottle hated you more -Congrats on your clean time friend it a great accomplishment. Keep up the good work -All the hair of Jason Alexander and none of the money. -Crosseyed and Painful to look at -Jesus. I see why you drank. -9 months total? -“I am 36 going on 66…I need a bottle telling me what to do” -Congratulations and happy birthday! -Id roast you but it looks like you took care of that yourself :D -Aw man I got nothing. Have a great birthday and congrats on your sobriety. -Atta boy!!! Keep going. it's worth it! -I understand why you drank. But I’m not sure why you stopped. -No roast - congratulations on your sobriety. Keep up the good work. -"You say 9 months sober, but your eyes say something different" -"Drunk or sober, you still look like a guy who would lick a urinal cake on a $20 bet." -Baby you are perfection there is nothing to roast about and everything to boast about 🥵😍 -36 year old Mr Burns -You probably look better drunk. -36?? Alcohol is a helluva drug!! -If I had that face I’d go back to drinking. -Congrats my dude!!! I’m barely on day 17 but I hadn’t gone this long without alcohol in probably 10 years or more so it’s alllllll good so far. Wish u the best as well -"What ran from you faster, your hairline or hot chicks at the bars?" -"Someone else had their ""9 months"" starting a family while you're only getting sober within that time frame" -Happy birthday well done 👍🏻 -You know it doesn't count if you're still sniffing glue right? -Stone Cold (Creamery) Steve Austin -"For every hair you lost, if there was a tree planted in israel, we’d have the Amazon jungle in the middle of a desert" -Looks like the kind of guy to be diabetes ad -Sober and bald hey? What do you miss more? The beers or your hair? -It is true alcoholics lose their hair I’ll be dammed -Your hair line is waiting for your goatee to play tetris -Louis Not.Okay -How long you been bald? 36 years? -We would have known you were an alcoholic even if you didn't tell us -"Fellow alcoholic. Hope you have a good birthday! - -Wtf is with that hair… or rather lack of? Bruh either commit to baldness or shave that shit" -36 going on 56 -1 week until his birthday. I bet he cant wait to see what his pre-ordered homemade birthday cake looks like. -I love the skullet! -Congrats.. One day at a time bro -36? -Armin Shimmerman of Star trek Deep space 9 as a human Quark who sells cars and has a cousin who is a high-ranking military officer at Roswell on 1940's earth. -Your hairline is at the 13th step. -Jesus fuckin Christ Batman I need to stop drinking. -Nobody gonna mention his eyes are crooked? Dudes looking at both sides of the periodic table at the same time -Congrats on 9 months… and I think you typed a 3 instead of 5 -You look like you need a meeting -I have nothing else to say but congrats man! -Great job buddy… how about a nice shave and a buzz on top … otherwise keep up the good work -Should celebrate with a drink -I know it's still a week out but I'm already not sorry we missed it! -The alcohol was helping -"*""Listen, you bald ass sober jones mother fu....""* - -I can't do it. lol - - Congratulations on 9 months, brother!!! Stay strong 💪" -I ain’t gonna even roast you. I’m proud of you for putting the bottle down. Enjoy the brighter side of life brother and don’t give up on yourself you’ll never regret it. -Nice work -36 with that fucking dome! You poor bastard. Fuckin costanza’d!!! -Sober from what?! A comb? -All these years of doing mushrooms finally caught up to Mario -No roast from me. But congrats on sobriety. It's hard af. -"You look like a tertiary character's side kick on Hercules. The one with Kevin Sorbo. That's not even a roast, man, it's a fact." -"What a shame the rest of you won’t recover. At least we know why you drank. -It’s a shame you will now have to live with yourself sober." -You would honestly look good full bald/ smooth. Try subreddit r/bald -I totally understand why you were an alcoholic. -Bro I can see the light reflect off your head -"Roast you? No way, congrats man. Keep up the good work. You look great!" -We all know it’s court ordered for you to be sober -The last time he was 9 months sober was birth -I don't know what you are clinging on to more... your sobriety or those last scraps of hair on the sides of your head. -"I'm not only the president of Hair Club for Men, I'm also its first failure." -Drunk looks better on you -Drinking should have stopped you a long time ago. -"When you finally accept that no matter how drunk you get, you'll always be blinded by the reflection of your scalp in the bathroom mirror." -"Path to sobriety was easy, just avoid reflective surfaces" -as a 37 year old male this was the best confidence boost I could have imagined today. -"I am not gonna roast...congrats on overcoming addiction, my sons father passed away from addiction on our sons bday this past April.. - - -Keep up the great work and congrats and happy early birthday" -"Congrats! - -9months can be a tough month. Stay safe" -Congrats on your sobriety! That’s more important than the roast. Take it from someone approaching a year sober! -Hair looks like it's getting out of the picture so we don't bring it up -"Congrats on the 9 months of being sober, but you should have shaved your head 9 months ago too. That horseshoe doesn’t work for anyone besides Hulk Hogan." -"You'll be hitting the bottle again, soon enough after all the resentments that will trigger you in this roast. Better call your sponsor now. And BT Dubs's, this roast will not balance out all of your step 9 work. You still gotta make amends." -Great job on the sobriety. I’m 8 months in and I couldn’t be happier. I’m looking at life with a different set of goggles. Keep it up!! -Quitter -Congrats best choice to make!!! -Just wanted to say congratulations. -What is with all these men on here lately with a humongous forehead? -Congrats on your sobriety. Keep it up. -I hope the next thing on the list is recovering some hair -Happy almost 37th birthday. Your parents are almost happy they didn’t abort you. -Looks like Archie Bunkers son in law -"You look like you stand in the doorway outside people's offices and say, ""To get by me, you must answer me riddles three.""" -Gonna start calling you diamond the way you’re the hardest 36 years I have ever seen -Sobriety doesn't cure extensive hair loss -Funny that you’re sober because your face makes me want to drink. -I bet your mum regrets staying sober for nine months too. -So happy for you! You look happy -You look like the weekend manager of a video store with a glory hole in the back . -Maybe you should start again -You look like my family ... like you came from a L O N G line of alcoholics. You look like you work as a failing sex toy salesman. But for real ... ya look like Lewis Blacks kid if he Eppstein'd Happy from inside out. -SHIT YEAH! -“But my personality is impeccable” -Looks like a guy who's too ugly not to relapse. -That's a typo right you mean 63m? -Louis C.uc.K. -I can see why alcohol left you -Good job on staying sober. You look like every TOOL loving dog dad I’ve ever seen. -Pic does not represent. We can’t see your pony tail and there is no white van in sight. -Looks like your left eye has a grudge against the right and is plotting revenge -"Congratulations on your clean time!! - -(Not here to roast, just congratulate 😊)" -Congratulations on your sobriety. -That cupboard where you keep your wigs? -You look so happy and content. The lie really is selling. -You shouldn't have stopped. You have already sped run your life and look 56 just keep drinking and finish yourself off. -36? Maybe with dyslexia -Stop making grilled cheese at 2am -You can finally afford hookers and can stop creeping the bowling alley with all that money you saved from spending on Night Train and MD 20/20. -"No roast, just a congrats on making the 9 month mark!!!" -That's the best haircut I've ever seen. Please never change it. -"Keep it up 9 months is not bad, your kidneys will then be your best friend" -I can see the High School bully rubbed your hairline back -Is that a dick on your shirt? -You look like you could use the top of your head to buff out wax on a car. -9 mins sober after this -36 I thought you were in your 40s hope you at least had some fun on your run 🏃 -You look like you were more fun nine months ago! -this picture was taken one day before Joel Hansen busted you. -Bro I’m 36 and you look 20 years older than me -"Jesus Christ, how hard did you drink? Even your facial structure looks drunk!" -Congrats on your sobriety. Sorry it has made you even less interesting and attractive. -"Can roast a guy trying to get sober, good on ya!" -first of all congrats on the recovery. Also can you look into my eyes lookie wookie? -Thank you!! Seeing this picture of how godawful someone can look at 36 is enough to make me stop drinking for good. Appreciate you. -I didn’t know alcoholism causes googly eyes -You better go back to the bottle. -You look like an abusive uncle -You look like a Skyrim character… and not one that anyone picks -"9 months off the drink, four seconds from sucking dick for hair plugs. Nice. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Congratulations brother." -"Gypsy Rose eyes. Also, congratulations on your sobriety 👊🏻" -Hell I’m 54 and you look like my older uncle ! No bullshit ! What were you drinking Bro ? petrol ⛽️? -No way I can roast a young and bald Stephen Root. -9 months sober is something to be immensely proud of ! Not roasting this one. Keep up the good work friend. -"you're glowing like a pregnant lady , sober man-baby!" -"Which left you first- your hair, your self esteem, or that mail order bride?" -"Damn if that’s how you look sober, hate to see you drunk!" -Fuck I feel so much better about myself as a 36 year old male now that I’ve seen you. -No roast here. Recently lost someone to alcoholism in their 30s. Good job man. Keep it up. -"Squintssy, I feel sorry for your optometrist and life coach. Your smile is catchy and nice though." -Bros going need the booze for the ladies not himself. Going take some drrrrrrrrunk chicks to touch this dude. -Banned from highway rest stops. -Good for you!! -Bald -"Congrats on being sober - -Congrats you have your feelings back and I am sorry your feelings came back" -You still have a long way to go -First of all congratulations on laying off the boze and second please stop the lies about your age. You know dam well you are pushing 50 -Your eyes still haven’t recovered from the alcoholism -Imagine if alcohol is sentient and the last thing it was seeing was this bloke!! What a way to go!! -"9 months sober, you say? I can't believe you've avoided mirrors for that long." -No one gives a fuck that you can’t drink responsibly -I’m glad you now have clarity. -“Stoned cold sober” can I get a hell yea! -"The pregnancy chip, because nine months ago you were fucked!" -Man that de-aging surgery was not kind to poor old Dr Phil -You make me want to start drinking again -I turn 50 in 1 week and my wife reckons you look older than me. -Looks like you’re not happy with that 9 months. -If stone cold Steve Austin was a registered sex offender: -"This isn’t a roast, just solid advice. Shave your head." -"Came in here to congratulate you on your recovery but then I noticed what group it is so, you are bald. Shave it all off man. It’s time to let it go." -Still in denial about the hair. -Seeing that pic makes me wants a drink -"Glad your processing! Hope all goes well! Happy Birthday when the time comes!! - -Now that reminds me; What happened at the Kids play park with that bearded man?? 😃" -"Dont go ""out"" with the boys on your bday, they may talk you into celebrating it." -"Pretty bright eyes, switching to big pharma meth is not sober." -Luis C.Gay. -Let’s hope your hairline recovers too 😩😭💀 -You make me wanna drink -Did your family abandon you the same time your hair follicles did? -Please don't show us what's in the cabinet. -You look like the TEMU version of my dad 🤣 -Shave your head and goatee and you’ll look 10 years younger. Cut it down to 46. -"Nothing to insult here, congratulations man." -"Damm dude, Starring so hard into the camera you’re going crosseyed." -Is this a BALD EAGLE? 🦅 lol -You look like if Dr. Phil had a cocaine addiction -Isn’t this the guy who forges trumps medical records -you cope with alcohol withdrawal by huffing the turtle wax you put on your head -go back to drinkin -"Why couldn't you handle your booze like a real man? - - -Sorry, I just can't think of anything. Have a great birthday.. My birthday is very soon and I suck at alcohol as well and won't be drinking." -"You kinda look like that guy from sienfield, the bald one , small one" -"I'm sorry dawg, she's not coming back." -"Hey! No roast man. Fuck that. - -Congrats on 9 months sober!!!!! God willing 8/17 I’ll have 2 years. Keep it up - you look great" -"Dead wife in the armoire, amirite? - -Not yours, of course." -You look like an Elder Scrolls Oblivion NPC -"You look like George costanza and Danny bonaduce had a...well not a fucking kid...some type of rock ape? - -P.s congratulations on the sobriety mate, keep up the good work." -"I don't know how you manage to stay sober while looking like the bad guy from Toy Story 2, but good on you for it!" -"9 months is a great effort. keep it up, baldy." -"Fellow recovering alcoholic here, congrats on your 9 months. Hardest thing ive ever fought for is my sobriety." -No... I don't have time to read the highlights of your homebrew D&D setting. -"I am glad you beat the monkey off your back but now you that you are dry, instead of stories about going through Trump's old hookers you will be trying to enthrall your buddies with tales of your new button collection." -"Firstly, happy cake day! - -Secondly, congrats on the sobriety. Keep it up!" -Dude has definitely gotten into an argument over the rules to a tabletop miniatures game -Loser C. K. -"I applaud and support your sobriety. But also, are you sure? Really? With…all *THAT* goin’ on? - -But in the classic roast tradition, good on you my man. I’ve struggled myself. Stay the course." -Look like Louis CK about to jizz in to a plant while watching women in a hotel hobby. -Congratulations on 9 months big guy! -"Congrats on the sober time. I know this is a roast me, but for real, congrats. Its not an easy thing. - -Looking at your fingernails, it looks like there is so much white in them that you have atomic poisoning." -"He may be sober, but he drives everyone else to drink." -You’ve been through enough. Good luck brother. -Jason Alexanduh. -Looking like a dungeons and dragons expert 😂 -You look like a mustaceless whitewashed Steve Harvey -why? you roasted yourself by posting your picture -Did you finally ever get Shake and Meatwad to stay out of your pool? -Congrats on 9 months sober... But I need a few drinks just to look at you. -"you look like dr phil before he got old, this is a shit roast, congrats on being 9 months sober" -"Age say 36, forehead says 56" -How the fuck is this 49 y/o 36? -"If you had hair, good looks, no drinking problem, didn’t look like a peadophile, generally weren’t a loser and your eyes were somehow near the same height on your face, you’d be a catch. " -You look like a thumb -No roast here. Congrats on the sobriety. I’m 53 and have 2.5 years sober too. One day at a time brother! -"It's a catch-22: - -When you're drunk, you don't recognize your ugliness. - -But, now that you're sober, you have to look at yourself in the mirror." -Bruh just shave your head…. Its over you lost. -"I've never seen someone who more accurately resembled a toadstool than you. But seriously, good for you staying dry- keep up the good work." -"i proud of you, you bald-headed, derpy-faced bastard" -Ok so that’s 52 in Whisky years? -You know doing blow off someone's schlong in a rest stop bathroom isn't technically sober! -No roast. Congrats on 9 months sober. -36?? Were you born on Feb. 29th and only count every 4 years? -That last little bit of hair is competing with your liver for which can hang on the longest -You look like you were a lot more fun when you were a drinker -"So did your wife or your hair leave first? - -(For real congrats on the sobriety)" -Man has more hair on his back than his head for sure -Go back to drinking . Nobody likes a quitter -Looks like Darth sidious -Where's his hairline???? -Your hairline is literally running away from your face. -You ride a tricycle and want to play a game. -"Congrats on the anniversary. Your abstinence is something to be proud of. Remember to keep taking it one day at a time. So like, instead of telling yourself “I’m never getting laid again,” tell yourself, “I’m just not getting laid today.”" -"Seriously, congratulations on getting sober?" -You look like the muppet that none of the other muppets want to talk to -The people on the comments dont kno how to roast fr -Congrats on 9 months! I’m working on 5 myself. -Ain't even gonna hate congrats on the 9 months brother -Wow... Silent Bob has let himself go... -Well you better go back on the drink or have the pubs banned you for lack of on ur head -Not much happening after Seinfeld huh -"This isn't something I've ever said to a man but, You have ""crazy eyes""." -More like thirty-sixteen. -Louis F- -"Your left eye said “sliiiiide to the left, ~~crisscro~~ .. nvm”" -Homer Simpson is that you? -Jeez!...do I have to say it about some online rando...ok...👍. Don't expect a Christmas card. -You look like the dude who tried to kidnap me in the mall when I was 6. -Cant fool me F murray abraham -Pussy -How far away must you live from school zones? -Anyone your trying to fuck is going to need all the alcohol they can get -congratulations on staying sober 9 years! How about getting shitfaced tonight to forget that ever happened? -Super Mario definitely already jumped on him on his way to capture the flag -Creepy bobblehead doll comes to life. -"Damn, after seeing that mug, I feel like I need a drink..." -You look like a penis…literally. -You look like you sniff bicycle seats. -Cheers! -"""It's-a-me, sober Mario! At least for now.""" -I don’t like the way you’re leering at me. -¿Tienes 36 años? Pareces estar cerca de los 50. -You look like you designed that penis in a turtleneck graphic on your shirt. -Discount Louis CK. -The rosy cheeks say that is a lie -Should’ve kept drinking -You look like a door-to-door Jesus salesman. -You have the face that no one remembers. -"Here’s a brew to you 🍺 -Also you look like shit 👍" -Stop making it harder on the rest of us addicts. Be responsible when you do drugs quiter. -You should get a hair system. -After seeing your pic I got sh*t faced drunk and I don’t even drink. -If Louis C.K. looked like somehow more of a pervert. -You look like a dildo with ears -I used to know a kid that grew up in your basement. Say hi to Peter for me! -Rehab is for quiters -One beer wont hurt -I'll snort this line for you ❄️ we go away back -Dude! 36 and looks like a bag of cement! -"So… - -How many children are trapped in the cupboard behind you?" -Your hairline goes back more than Naruto’s backstory. You look like you enjoy tentacle hentia with xray so you can see where it’s going -Congratulations on being sober I'll be sure to take a shot for you -What the hell are you looking at? I'm so confused! Are you cross eyed? -No woman will ever love you the way the booze does -Youve been caught masturbating next to a school. -Let’s drink to your accomplishment! -I can't believe we are the same age. You look 59. -"You look like someone that's only celebrating 8 months of sobriety. - -/congrats!" -If drinking keeps you at home.... -Let's say don't pull a mirror next to a bottle. -Restroom janitor in the local pool hall -No one is ever going to hold hands with you in the mall. -"Hold up, gotta slap you real quick to get them eyes back straight" -"Louis CK that never made it, from another universe." -If Tim McGraw started drinking again -Randy -You should celebrate with a drink -"He’ll yeah Jack! - -What is ur AST AND ALT?" -You look like AL off Home Improvement -Stopped drinking to know for certain which drink to roofie -"That's some bad looking 36, hombre." -Your eye is melting down -Alcohol wasn’t the problem -Cheers! 🍻 -Pussy -Quitter. -Stop lying to your sponsor and more importantly lying to yourself. You look like you drank last night. -4 years 3months and today….stay the course! -Glad to see John Travolta finally remove the hair piece. -"When you drink, do you straighter ?" -If I looked like a sunburned jar of mayo I’d want to turn to a bottle too. -36 my ass. -He isn’t allowed within 200 feet of a school. -Mr. Lundy from Young Sheldon -… with a hit of nitrous -Don’t drop the chili on the carpet! -Was your mother 9 months sober when she was pregnant with you? -Cheers! -Used to pick up the fat pussy getting drunk but now gets nothing. -"You say alcoholic, but your picture screams “7 year olds”. They say in AA “keep coming back”, you should stay away from the schools." -Your birthday is a great excuse to hang out at a Chuck E Cheese -comment -You look like you both spectate and compete at the Kentucky Derby -"You knew he was the one when he got you flowers for no reason, planned a trip to the Hamptons, and got you the jumbo salt lick for your B-day." -He fell for the buck teeth but stayed for that homey smell of used cat litter. -You must give really toothy blowjobs. -31 but still shops at Forerver 21 -Slowly introduces the mole in pics 3 and 4and then re-fades it LOL has the cat ever tried to eat it off your face thinking it’s food u left over -I'd roast you but it's illegal to cook horse meat -I like how your headphones have more cleavage than you. -Try using your hands instead of your teeth for woodcarving. -I can see that you’re a failed artist you don’t even notice that you have some paint left on the side of your face. -That face makes your mole look hideous. -"Every time your fiancé tries to be romantic and whispers sweet words in your ear, is he... - -The horse whisperer?" -You look like Essential Oils & Zodiac Signs are your entire personality. -Your tongue got it's own white picket fence -Avril Latrine -"I think it's cool you kept your grandma's dentures, and honor her memory by wearing them everyday. " -"When I was a kid during Halloween, I loved those fake wax teeth. I never thought about wearing them year round but good for you!" -More teeth than a Ferrari gearbox -Does the boss’ wife know about your engagement to their husband yet? -Beaver lady* -You look like a chore to hangout with -She cuts her own hair but there’s no way she’s her own dentist. There has to be at least 10 of those motherfuckers to take on this grille. -Y’all ever watched Wallace and Gromit? -"Hopefully, you can move past the failed artistry and achieve successful dentistry." -Being engaged to your cat doesn’t count you know? -"Not sure why, but I’m suddenly wondering whether a beaver can eat her own beaver." -How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood like what your max? -You look like if Kyle from South Park grew up to be a transitioned lesbian. -"When you're response to anything about an outfit is ""thanks I thrifted it"" don't worry, we already know." -Like a Jodi Arias from TEMU. -Toothier than a Ted Buddy attack! -The cat has more joy in its eyes than you do and it looks like it ready to give up its 9th and final life just to get away from you. -Got her teeth from the quarter machine at the dollar store -I hear your teeth have their own members of parliament. -If you had a party drug of choice it would be ketamine -How does any sound make it past that wall? -Pic 5: Daddy-daughter roleplay where you promise to be a good girl if he gets you oral surgery to shave off 1/3 of those chiclets? Everyone has their kink. -No engagement ring? Does he know you two are engaged? -"You're engaged, so is your official name gonna be MRS ED?" -Are you sure you didn't mean horse lady? -Hopefully you're engaged to an orthodontist -You whicker when you laugh -Those choppers are so big each one looks like individual tombstones. -She’s also an actor. I loved her as Donkey in the Shrek movies. -'Successful corporate worker' - works as a receptionist -"Girl could eat an apple through a letterbox and -Chew a pear through a tennis racket." -"If you wore that hat to the derby, they’d probably just throw a saddle on you…" -Umm this is your Team lead and We need to talk about the definition of Success honey. -It's always unfortunate and highly unlikely to find a gal whose teeth are bigger than her tits....nibble on that for a little bit. -Take your teeth back for a refund get a couple sizes smaller -Hmmm. Neigh -Is your fiancée going to make you file those teeth down before the wedding? -“Here’s a quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.” -Tooth fairy handed out hundreds when she was a kid -Did Tom Petty give you his teeth before he died? -"Since the arts failed, you could try building log dams." -Does your cat chase that mole around on your face like it's a laser pointer? -If you did a hand stand you could pass as a rake. -Man them teeth! Looks like you could chew a house in half in less than a day. -Can eat the corn off a cob through a chicken wire fence -At least the cats cute -"Go to your profile, get an NSFW warning, get all excited, only to see more pictures of your chiclet-sized teeth. 😞" -Teeth. -The only time she gets banged is when she does her hair. -You look like someone who modeled for Picasso 🤓 -One of Mr. Ed’s sperm -Cat lady? I would have thought you like horses -What is hairier? The mole or your cat? -"With that face, you don’t show anywhere near enough cleavage to call yourself successful at anything." -First time I’ve seen a female hatfisher. Keep the hat on. -I can hear you bitching from here . -Being engaged to your cat doesn’t count as being in a relationship -"“Hmmm, what would distract from my Secretariat-like teeth? I know, a giant hat!”" -Cor look at them chompers. She's practically part Beaver 🦫 -Dear God you look like Collene Ballinger with goddamn ukelele in your ass! -Was it roasting in Istanbul when you bought your Turkey Teeth? -Don’t let the teeth distract you from her cock nose -Good everyone notice the teeth -Hopefully your fiance is an orthodontist -Are the comically sized teeth supposed to distract us from the comically sized mole or is it the other way around? -"You could always try becoming an actor, seeing as you are already a corporate sellout! XD ;p" -More caps than a Pepsi bottling plant -Keep your fiancé away from the optometrist -Was it cool watching your dad perform on tv with the electric mayhem as a kid?  -She could eat an apple through a chain link fence -Thanks for saving Michael Jordan & all of our lives from the Aliens -How are your front teeth 2 different sizes? -Hell of a set of teeth -Random admin worker -No more room for hotel art? -You been 31 15 times -Ya' ain't got enough meat on your bones to be roasted. -"Do you play a ukulele, wear red lipstick, & have an alter personality called Miranda?" -What’s up doc? -Wow those teeth you could give a beaver a run for his money -alex from minecraft -"I am very upset with all of these roasts. I am from Canada and this is our national animal, the proud beaver." -"HI, my name is Hiedi ... Hiding Horse face . I like carrots and long walks . I like it when someone brushes my mane of thick hair. I am high maintenance I have to get my hooves done once a month . Saddle up and let's go for a ride" -Are you breaking those teeth in for a race horse? -That upper lip failed you too -Just cause you have a job doesn’t make you a successful corporate worker. -You look like Nicholas cage in long legs -She looks like she says what's up Doc and slowly nibbles a long carrot -"""failed artist"", Adolf Hitler 2.0??" -Failed artist yet not one post of art. By art do you mean Pussy painting on OnlyFans? -Just bc you have a guy locked in your basement and chained to the radiator doesn’t mean you’re engaged…. -Pretty sure you can eat both sides of the corn on the cob at the same time. -"Firty one, female, emgaged, failed artift (mbut fucfefful cormporate worker), cat lady. Roaft me." -at least the cat is cute -You look like you open pickle jars with your teeth -Nobody subscribing to your OnlyFans does not make you a “failed artist.” -You're the one at the bachelorette party screaming for the stripper to dangle his balls in peoples faces. -You look like you’re about to start singing about a toxic gossip train. -He must love toothy blow jobs. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood with those teeth. -Stonehenge ass lookin teeth -Why do your teeth look like they came out of a Christmas cracker? -Blowjob eyes with Chainsaw Teeth -"What constitutes a failed artist? If you say your art hasn’t sold, I invite you to review Van Gogh’s history. - -(Sadly, his legacy is almost *too* commercial now. One out of every 10 shower curtains sold today features his “Starry Night,” it seems.)" -You've got more teeth than a fine-tooth comb. -You look like you are about to build a dam. -"Not a burn, but get that moles/splotchs removed, could become cancerous in the future, and removing it will make you prettier now." -You look like you're going to knock on my door and sell me some Mormon Apocalypse book -You are a failed what???? 卐卐‍ -Gives off pepper from nikkke -She look like the cover of the animorph books the in between animal and human phase -You have the looks as Velma and hair as Daphne of Scooby doo -I can’t. You’re like the brunette version of ME❤️🤷‍♀️ -"You look like a mid-boring person thats worth a try to talk too, because you just send out ""despite my engagement im lonely as fuck""-signals, but they walk away at the sight of your enormous teeth." -You didn’t fail. You are a work of art. -"You look like someone that cries out about wanting to go to a pumpkin patch your husband didn't want to go to. Then, write a bad review no matter how good the experience was." -You look like your favorite pass time is biting strangers -I see your job didn’t come with dental insurance. -You look like Jodie Arias’s broke cousin with no dental plan -God Failed that underbite so you could fail at art. -Man I do miss Elliot page before the transition -"Come on, don't fuck with us. You're not actually engaged 😂" -You look like you're enthusiastic about kamala Harris being on the ballot -Your boyfriend is 100% gay. -You kind of have a cartoon smile…. Like with the teeth after you get an anvil dropped on your head -Successful corporate worker sounds like an oxymoron phrase -"Hope you were smart enough not to marry a guy named Ed, or everyone is going to start calling you Mrs. Ed." -Stalking a guy doesn't make you engaged to him -I said no teeth -"Adam Sandler as a 31F, engaged, failed artist" -pretty girls get bangs to show their face. bangs are not for you. -when you die they will send your body to the glue factory. this will be your highest achievement. -She has to go through a car wash to get those teeth cleaned 😬 -You're everyone's least favorite person at the farmers market. -Even your request to be roasted wreaks of cat food and desperation. -"Wow a failed artist but not genocide, how’s it feel to fail twice?" -I bet you couldn’t wait to take a bite out of the corporate life -You look like you know how to fold a fitted sheet. -I wouldn't be scared if you got into politics -When we buried my lesbian cousin in the 80s we threw away her clothes. I didn't know a horse would have dug them out of the trash and still be wearing them in 2024. Also congrats on the engagement ... and sorry about him cheating on you. -"Go back to being an artist, you’d be a lot cooler again….it’s not a brag in 2024 for a woman to be successful in a corporate setting brodie….they are handed the positions….Men are hated and woman go to HR to get them fired in hopes to fill the position and climb the corporate ladder….Every female manager I ever had flirted with me,, one tried to fire me after I refused to hit…..congrats kid you made it in life….." -"Don't think this is a good idea, last time a failed Artist got Roasted by the world we ended up with camps with chemical showers." -If I make you squirt will you promise not to smile? -Nah but like I fr love your oufits -"According to J.D. Vance, you're running America! Congratulations 🎉" -I just know you have skeletons in your tumblr ask box. -Why do you feel the need to tell people you're engaged... are you trying to make people think your actually wanted? -Call me crazy but she look like the girl duck from chicken little -Get some new dentures... -Buccees spokeswoman -Woman with zero haters -"Your poor future husband... Wait, failed artist? Your poor polycule ☹️." -you are gorgeous and your teeth are cute fuck what everyone else is saying ik it’s roast me but fr everyone is over exaggerating and i think that’s super fucked up you honestly are so gorgeous your smile is so beautiful i wouldn’t change anything about you if i were you. God made you perfect . <3 -and your teeth are barelyyyyy imperfect literally who gaf everyone on this subreddit i’m sure looks far less than how you look 🤣🤣🤣 like any of them are engaged either -"you are not a failed artist, you just don’t have the time and money to be a full time artist" -"So lovely and a kind heart. You didn't fail- you are still an artist- art is personal and the more you pursue it, the more pure, purposeful, and meaningful it becomes. The best art comes from hardship, challenges, lulls in life. All that becomes a part of your art, and eventually others see that sincerity coming through. Get back at it if you haven't done so. The corporate job can also be an influence and facilitator to your creativity- don't look at it as a doorstop. Stay healthy, give of yourself, and keep at what you love. Your kitty needs you to work to keep it fed, but the kitty also picks up on the good vibe of you doing your art- there is an existential energy shared with creativity. Get back at it." -Dang everyone on here making remarks about your smile and teeth. Don't show them any other body parts. Please! -"Holy shit! It wasn't just art that failed her. Her dentist, orthodontist, and braces did too!!!" -"the face of a lady who will push for a big mortgage, then divorce her husband in 30 years and take everything" -she failed art school? shit i hope she isnt austrian -The many expressions of a Saint Bernard. -Engaged to what??? Eating Sugar cubes ?? -Wants to one up Taylor Swift by getting engaged first. Bet your cat is named Mr. Wigglesworth. -You look like Pokimane’s stunt double -Sucking dick all the way up that corporate ladder. -"Your pubic hair is designed in an unordinary manner, because you are original….but it still smells like shit" -Isn’t the first thing that American dorks get for their mail order brides is braces? At least make sure the “fiancé“ has began the finance process prior to coming to the US. It would be a good idea to get a biopsy on the mole as well. -Gets passed around at a music festival more than a joint. -Successful corporate worker? More like the Server From Dennys who Decided to Take the $13.25 left from my Visa Gift card in Exchange for some Hawk Tuah -"Failed artist is code word for ""I tried porn once."" In your case, you couldn't even keep your job as a fluffer for obvious reasons..." -You look like you walk into grocery stores and restaurants barefoot and think that's bohemian or cottagecore. -"I can't tell if you're in a car or bathroom with the cat and the hat. So, I'm going with dumpster." -They should write a book about you called 50 shades of ugly -Where’s your feed bag? -You look like a Model for (Bat Shit Crazy Magazine) -"Summer is that you, your teeth look..." -And your Boyfriends name is Mr Whiskers -She's a huge fan of Sarah Jessica Parker -I’m pretty sure Dennis Reynolds may or may not have murdered you. -I feel like you should be hiding behind a door while Jack Nicholson smashes through it with an axe. -Cat lady yet your cat looks like he needs a vacay far away from you. -Peel oranges through a tennis raquet -"Well, conquer the whole Europe! 🇩🇪" -Just what the world needs... another failed artist who sold their soul to a corporation.. -A corporation that makes oversized dentures? -"That ridge you call a nose is so pronounced, I bet if you crossed your eyes, you'd get a panoramic view of the Grand Canyon" -More teeth than a chainsaw -Old mcdonald had a farm... heeeyaaa heeeeyaaaa hoooo -"You have absolutely no idea why every guy you've dated has told you how much he loves roadhead, but then has asked you to stop after 30 seconds." -I didn’t know Jodi Arias got out of prison -You mean 41 right? -"Ok, Pam Halpert" -You look exactly like your description -Failed artist.. we all remember the last failed artist -Could eat an apple through a tennis racket with those teeth -"Those bangs aren't hiding that billboard ahh forehead of yours, can I use ur nose real quik... I gotta mark out a poster down the middle." -Yeah you do look like a girl who would call herself a lady. -That smile just JUMPS OUT AT YA don't it? -You could eat lettuce through a tennis racket! -Take this quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. -"Looking at you, I am sure there is no need for a lawnmower for you. You will probably finish the job with your teeth by the time others start their mowers." -He would have married you by now if you didn’t keep teething his blowjobs. -Lol I have to sit this one out guys. I’m used to these gremlins we’ve been getting. She ain’t bad at all -You have a nice pussy! -you could eat an apple through a chain-linked fence -You had your prime during COVID -That dental insurance better not fail like your art career -C’mon let’s see the forehead -I think those teeth speak for themselves -Someone shit on her face and claimed it was a beauty mark. Cindy Toothford -Your teeth could make a great dam barrier here in the Philippines. -"Only Fans doesn't count as art, and McDonalds Manager doesn't count as corporate." -"Horrific proportions: Face. writing to paper sheet. Using a tablet as a phone. -Your flat looks like a 20 year old gamer male lives in it. - -No wonder you failed." -Ever meet someone that thinks they hot but they trash? If not take a look at op -"Allow me to roast you in your native language, ""neeiiiiggghhh, pbbbbb, neighhh neeeiiiggghhh""" -I went through your post history. Some of your art is just mediocre. The rest is spectacularly awful. -You look like a stouffers lasagna that expired in the bottom of your freezer 20 years ago. Even if you managed to heat it up you wouldn’t want to eat it much less fuck it. -You look like you have male pattern baldness. -Thanks for being so open and telling the tooth -Jodi Arias -Those teeth could eat apples through a letterbox -"Immediately for some reason I know you work in HR, watch anime and annoy your whole household including your cat." -You know you can get that fixed in turkey right? -Your dentist could give you a check up while they were stuck on the International space station -It must take an hour to brush that half-acre of teeth you have in the front -Your teeth are doing the Mexican wave -Tax isn’t the only one with a lot of fringe benefits -They had dropped the standard of art since the last time we had a failed artist. -Tuck in your teeth -You look like the kind of girl I’d date out of pity but then you’d also be dumb enough to cheat anyway for some reason. -Did you throw shit in a fan? -You'd be a successful artist if you made wood sculptures but congrats on the engagement i hope they enjoy getting their wood gnawed on -">successful corporate worker - -Secretary, or Secretariat?" -"Nanny mcfee, why u using my phone !" -Gillette shaving cream in the background for that mole. -Marble mouth -"Don't you mean ""roaft me""." -You look like a failed impressionist🤮 -I’m sorry for your fiancés failing eye sight -You look bland AF. Can't even think of anything insulting to say about you. -No life = Successful corporate worker -comment -"Sorry that he left your ass, but to be fair, it looks like your ass had already left." -If you’re broke you could consider renting yourself out as a surfboard on the weekends. Easy cash -I think your ass might actually be concave -"You look like what Amy Winehouse looks like, right now." -"Your thigh gap is your best feature. That’s because the less of you there is, the better. " -"His version: ""We went on a few dates and she started stalking me thinking that we were together. She even joined my gym, and kept bringing me roses and goats to my workplace.""" -I would cheat too -It kinda looks like your face melts in the rain -"You could have just wrote, 21-f, worthless. Would've been less wordy and more to the point." -"One bad decision from an overdose away and several years of rehab and relapse, followed by a dead end job then a life in porn, its not everyone's ideal situation but it's something to look forward to for you." -So this is what a Walmart brand sex doll will look like... -“Do you worst but be creative” seems like what someone told your ex before he started dating you. -Which one of the goats cheated on you? I will make it into a soup. -There's enough space in that thigh gap to fit the entire gypsy family + their horses. -"When your weird ass, ball bag skinned cat is looking at you and questioning your life decisions you know it’s bad…" -"if sis was a company - -.... that company would be filing for bankruptcy due to lack of assets. - -also a gap in public engagement." -I bet you can’t find sunglasses to fit over those hideous fake lashes. -You are like if Lady Gaga had no talent and was actually trans -When lying down builders could use you as a spirit level. -Do you need food? You look like one of those kids in 3rd world countries where you donate 35¢ a day to feed starving kids -You look like Wednesday was made on a Friday. -Girl why are you walking in a restricted area in the rain -"Ass so flat, if she turned sideways, she’d disappear from the group photo!" -Even the cat is trying to figure out what the fuck it’s looking at -Did ur ass cheat too and left you? -"Let’s see I could 1) Do nothing and be pretty and healthy. Or I can 2) Go for an Eating Disordered-Plasticky-Pale-Sickly-Gen Z Goth look. I could fuck around with my nails, eyelashes, complexion, lips, starve myself, tat myself up and ruin Option 1 potential. - -Yeah, it’s definitely Option 2!!" -There's something very strange going on with your face. -El-vile-ra -Could use you as an ironing board. -Pancakes anybody? -I’ve seen rulers with more curves. -I just got syphilis in my eyes from watching your pics -"I'd recommend making OF to remedy your financial issues but that ass so flat, the walls are jealous." -"Damn… I’m historically terrible at roasts, but for the love of god, eat a fuckin sandwich." -I guess being broke is why your couldn't finish paying for your transition therapy. -Got cheated on because having sex was like fucking a straight board -Only thing flatter than your bum is your personality -"As someone with an eating disorder, I am glad you are in recovery. With that being said. - -Do some squats, friend." -"Life has already done its job, there’s nothing to roast" -You look easy to cheat on -"It literally looks like the door has been hitting your ass on the way out, your whole damn life" -He made the right choice -Temu Shannon Doherty Throat goat….. even the cat is saying WTF -"Your full body pic looks like photoshop, its mega sad that its not" -you’ll never be asian give it up -Is it plywood flooring? You'll blend right in. -You literally laughed your ass off -You're not too far off from onlyfans goth egirl... -I actually cant fix her -"13 photos, yeah we get it..." -So you’re sharing the floor with goats? At least someone will cuddle with you. -Thank you for serving another term as president of the ittie bittie titty committee. -Why does all that sound like it was your fault. -"You mean to tell me that somebody saw all of that, and still felt like they needed more? I just don’t see how after getting a pinch full of that ass how anybody would possibly look for anything more. And your whole vibe of Amy Winehouse meets Wednesday Adams, meets a freshly staked vampire is really bringing in all the guys." -"7th pic looks like a wax statue, what is wrong with your face!!!" -"I best sex with you is painful, mostly because your hip bones would dig into everything." -Its was fine until slide 9 -Address so I can have food delivered? -Could you show us on the doll where your daddy touched you? -"If Netflix did an adaptation of The Goonies, you’d be Sloth." -It's enough to make you LMAO. But I see it's gone already. -What scary movie did you star in -Built like a door. Guessing he took the ass with him when he left. -You look like you smell like cat shit & litter -You look like if Zooey Deschanel had a stroke. -You look as if you said „Noooo Noooo Nooooo“ when they tried to make you go to rehab. -"Pic #1 cat is like ""huh??? What a fucking liar...you live in a penthouse in NYC eat like a queen and have NEVER had a bf!! Wtf?""" -You’ve been used more than a lint roller at an animal sanctuary. -"The camera adds ten lbs - You should revert that all to your ass" -And 0% ass! Damn 😂 -"You paid for that nose? - -Fuck." -Michael Jackson rose from the dead -r/13or30 -Costco Brand Amy Winehouse -"Those goats are your best friends, huh? - -It's their floor you're sitting on?" -You look crazy as sht -Micheal jackson nose but none of the money. You're fucked -Looks like you’ve fully recovered you little porker 🐷 -Even the cats like why would I waste my time on this biatch. -The cat is looking at you like you’re the biggest turd it ever pooped. -He’s a good guy -"You’ve heard of the 6 million dollar man, here’s the 6 dollar woman. - -Popsicle sticks and huffing glue." -Kind of hard to roast when the prime rib is already perfectly done. 🔥 -"When you enter the house, is it through the mail slot or keyhole?" -"You're the human equivalent of drywall. Pale, easily broken, and completely flat" -Does it cost extra for a salon to put fake lashes on a toothpick? -Maybe prioritize buying food than getting lashes and nails? -Bro looks like a thigh-gapped Amy Weinhouse with a chubby face -Patent: noacitol -Someone mistook you for the new towel rack at the gym……until you blinked. -Carpenters love her flat as plywood easy to screw. -You look like what happens when you order Wednesday Addams from Temu… -Damn and she got a hairless cat? Probably why he cheated. -Lazy Blowjob Energy -Might as well just go back to eating. Those Oreos are the only thing that wants to be inside of you -Hopefully you filled out a police report for whoever stole it from you. 🫤Your ass is what I’m meaning. -"There’s a career for you in cleaning sewer pipes, crap needs to be disposed of and you’ll fit right in." -You look like a trans Temu version of Sssniperwolf -" michael jackson genderswap, the later years" -"First pic: He's thinking: It's like looking in to a mirror! Also, quite clearly those goats want out." -You look like Monday Addams cuz the thought of you is sickening -At least you and the floor have something in common -Remember when goth chicks were hot? -LMFO -Yeah I would left too -You have the least symmetrical face I've ever seen. It's like God just half-assed it with you. -Prospects look bleak. -If being a loser girl doesn't work out you could always be a popular boy -You sound like the ideal mail order bride for a weird old guy. Want a green card? -You look like a first addition ai synthetic human lifeless not quite female more robot like - the version that will be on sale in a year 85% off. -I have a broomstick that is thicker than you -Being broke will help with your eating disorder… -Hot crazy scale is now proven -Red flag personified -"We can see who the goat is ☝🏻 - -Guys is a fool though 🤷🏻‍♂️ I like I woman with a crazy look in here eye life’s usually way more interesting 😂😂" -Sicky Minaj -porn career starts in 3 2 1... go. -How is your ass flatter than your personality? -If apathy made makeup commercial -Wow. A goth 2x4. -Your description just sounds like a common story -"You call it cheating, he calls it survival" -Built like a 2x4 front and back. -Dogs often sleep on floors. -"I am more curvy then you , as a man" -Fentanyl has entered the Chat... -You could open up your own Waffle House with that pancake ass -"With a resume like that, I’m sure you’ll be getting your septum pierced at your local Piercing Pagoda before the end of the week." -He sure dodged a nuclear blast -"Your eating disorder involved eating roses? I get why your friends let you sleep on their floor, they think you will eat all the bugs and dust." -All that leggings for nothin 😞 -"I would cheat too, even the cat wants out of whatever shit you have him in, Pancake ass looking like a frisbee." -"That reminds me, I need to do the ironing." -The most interesting thing about you is your eating disorder. -U forgot to put vegan and borderline in your Bio.. -"You look like you will ruin some ones marriage in the future. Not by cheating, just by the way you look." -Great Value Whitney Cummings -Be thankful you had a boyfriend don't expect to get another -Even the cat knows this is a bad idea -Why are you cosplaying as a teenage lead singer boy of an early 2000s emo band? -Your cat already does -Your ex made the right choice. I’d want to be with anyone other than you too. -RIP inbox. Redditors are creeps. -Of course you bought the ugliest cat to make yourself feel better -"Looks, you are a goatasexual just like me, j k, about me not you....otherwise I like your face!" -If hit it and quit it had a face -Ive never seen a woman in yoga pants that I wouldn’t like to ….well you know…. Until now -I didn't know chocking on cock was considered a eating disorder -These have been posted already -"Even the cat looking at you like you like you aint -Shit" -This is called low self esteem and lives off attention -So the Corpse Bride finally came back. I wish her well. -Even the goats couldn't stand the smell and were trying to get away from that snatch. -You look like a model from the House of Wax that was stolen and used by one of those dark web sexaholics -Just one step closer to discovering black penises and eye shadow. -You look like they named a vitamin deficiency after you. -Ok mate we don’t need 13 of your most unflattering pictures of you -" - -Pic #4. - -Id adopt the grey one on the right." -"Even though you have the same dimensions as my surf board, my surf board has more things going for it than you." -You look like you smell like car piss. -She do be looking like a whole ass Minecraft skeleton though... someone. Get this girl a bow.. 😊 -You’re about as interesting as an empty KFC container. All bone and no breast -She got that metro man smirk -"Damn, how such a beautiful face have body of a ruler?" -You need to contact the police to report a robbery. Someone stole your ass and only left you with a tailbone. -You look like my pelvis will hurt after F\*\*king you doggy for 10 seconds -You look like your main personality trait is draining and exhausting people around you and then being upset when they need a break. -You are Guillermo Del Toro’s muse. -"Didn’t you post on r/amiugly or -r/amiuglybrutallyhonest recently? - -I remember you" -The cat looking at you like girl for real? 😂😂😂 why -You look like every holiday is dramatic but never your fault. -Insecurity meets vanity -How you gone stand in a stable with 3 goats and still have the least amount of sex appeal -Cheated on ... with goats? -Are you ok Annie? -Not gonna roast you but I encourage you to get therapy. -You or your twin behind you? -You look like billie eilish if she transitioned into a dude -"It’s hard to roast something with no body mass, no meat on those bones." -Pic 4 is cute with you and your siblings. -Was your ex a dendrophile? -Trauma dumping donkey witch -You look like every other teenage meth addict in a rehab. -Can I just get your number? ;) -Maybe you just stay on your friend’s floor. Your physique looks more suited as a mat than a person anyways. -Your cat looks like my shaved ballsack -Is that rose the only thing you’ve eaten this week? -I’d fuck you but have self respect. -"When you're out on a date, ""So where did you guys meet?"" AUSCHWITZ" -The cat know we finna flame yo ass up -“Do your worse” looks like you got that bit covered -I really could not care at all waste of my time reading that -Seems like he made the better choice -Why do these always have like 10 pictures now -Ive seen ironing boards with more shape. -Your cat is 2 seconds away from fucking you up. 🤣🤣🤣 let's see that instead. -You wasn’t throwing shit back 😜 -Even the cat thinks you're crazy. -Jesus Christ even the cat can’t stand u -"Damn girl, you’re like if Morticia Addams was gross and uninteresting as fuck." -13 pictures and not one of them worth a crafty wank -21 my ass. -"It’s neat that your whole body is shaped like a big red flag, Hotel Transylvania girl" -Does it hurt sitting on your lower back all the time? -Pretty embarrassed that I want stick stickly to call me daddy. Guess that’s more of a roast of me tho. You look like you you should be getting stuck in a front load washer somewhere -Why did you post a picture of 4 goats? -There's easy ways to make money. But you already knew that -Would -You look like you’re living in a Wes Anderson movie all by yourself. -Needed a new ironing board -"Reading the caption, I started feeling sorry for you.. looking at the pictures I understood why those things happened to you" -What in the michael jackson looking hell -Even the cat is like “how the fuck you manage to be uglier then me” -You’ve heard of “Heroin Chic”. Now meet “Fentanyl Reek” -Taylor swift ass -"No ass. -Looks like even if you gained 40 lbs you’d just be fat and still have no ass." -A girl and her goats - a love story. -Ur so skinny I can literally see through you -Classic BPD right here -Yk… the eating disorder is probably what left you with that boyish figure -Husbando now we are homeress -Looking like a boring fuck that wants the world to know you’re wild in bed. -Just give up 🤷🏻‍♂️ -"Just goes to show, doesn't matter how beautiful you are, men will still cheat on you. I hope you heal soon and your next chapter is much much happier. (Sorry I didn't have a roast for you. Ummmm...and your momma dresses you funny! There hahahaha. Hugs)" -Oh you look extra crazy psycho -Even the cat is like “you sure you want this?” -You could be so cute if you lost some weight. -What happens when a stick insect goes through her Wednesday Addams phase -"You didn’t actually need to tell us all that. - -We can tell just by looking." -look on the bright side. you definitely have a future in scat-play. -omg that hairless cat is so cute chilling with you 😻 -You looking at me??? Hey hey hey I'm over here. Pick an eye and focus -Lady Blah Blah -The way you look... I can't top that! -It's not cheating. The goats aren't supposed to be fucking you in the first place. It's better that they are with their own kind now. -"Even if you post it 5 more times, your huge ego will never get hurt enough to make you stop." -"Your Cat's Bold Like Your Man's Choice. - - - -And You're Beautiful, Sorry For Everything❤️, Those Are the Words The Grinch Has been told to but Not You. - - -:)" -Seems like you had a long ass day huh? -So many camera angles... so many pics. You look the best when you are the furthest away. -You need a snack -Scared the fur clean off of that poor cat and it's still a nicer lookin pussy than yours i bet. -you never fully recover from eating disorders. You're fucked -You look like an 8th grade self portrait had come to life -so THIS is what Sssniperwolf has been doing after all that drama -"Even though your broke, you still wouldn’t create an OF or do sexual favors for money, because you think you’re too “classy” for that. Even though when you get drunk or high, you’ll gladly become a cum dumpster for the next tatted up alcoholic wannabe at the bar." -You flat as hell on both sides -"eating dick isnt a disorder, just ask your dad uncle or what ever family pet your mom fucked to make you look like that." -You didn’t have to use the green face pack to look scary -Eat a sandwich girl -More forehead than ass -I can’t tell where your ass starts and your back begins -I bet you fart a lot -You just seem like every other 21f out there today -Even the cat is disappointed -I didn’t know calf muscles could stretch all the way up the legs and connect directly to your back -You’re such a disappointment. I can see why your man and your father both left you for better options. -I kept having to scroll up and look at your pictures because I immediately forgot what you looked like -She on that new drug… Noassatall -you're gorgeous ✨ -Little in the middle but she ain’t got back. When I have a job meets I have a gender studies degree -"She has Micheal Jackson’s gender identity issue, she identifies as a HEE HEE" -just went thru the slideshow i can see why he cheated -Even your cat is judging you -I guess your lips were not big enough…. -You had me at goat herder -Poster child for “I can fix her” -Looks like I have no need to say shit your life already did it for me 💀 -This kids is why you don't pick Amy Winehouse as a role model -Built like plywood -That cat is really looking at you like “do you know what your getting yourself into?” -Bold of someone to actually commit to dating this 😂 -You look like if billie eilish had a dumbass twin: billie eyelash -I've seen poorly drawn stick figures with nicer bodies. -Hunny you need a fucking hug -"""Sleeping on my friends floor currently"" - -Oh good, you know your place." -"You look like the skeleton girl from the nightmare before Christmas with skin. - -Also praying your life improves youngster! You still have a glow to you despite your life’s brutal situations!" -"Well, I’ve got nothing to say, but the goats think you’re overweight and a disappointment in bed. - -…just like your parents and your ex." -"You look like ur onlyfans is free... ( i actually feel bad lol, you do you gurl!)" -It’s a shame bc your work was really great in The Exorcism of Emily Rose -Dogs like ‘ bitch did u say roast beef ? ‘ -You look like johnnys plank from Ed Edd and eddy -"Fuck roasting, I've just split up from my wife and am trying to get a flat, you can come and live with me if you want... - -I'll probably even marry you straight away, we'll, as soon as my 2nd divorce comes through." -Best Pic was the Martian facial you took! -"Monica. don't be delusional. It's not ""cheating"" if he is married to the other woman and he has a restraining against you." -With those thighs you should get back on the eating disorder -That gummy bear is as empty as you are -Cross between an e-girl and my dead ex -"This isn’t a roast just the best advice anyone could ever give you in particular, start doing Pilates asap" -Will you marry me -girl i'll date u mwah -My typa girl -Marisa No-wei. -Built like an iron board but half the personality. -"So skinny, she sticks her tongue out and she looks like a zipper." -"How cool, the new season of 13 Reasons Why is coming out!" -Saw corpse bride once -Looks like you said LMAO one too many times and your ass took it personally! -Have fun getting your ass beat by some fat-fuck butch in two months. -You look like the mutant offspring of a fentanyl and cocaine fueled one night stand between Aubrey Plaza and Cristin Milioti -I can save her🫡 -7th photo looks like you could be a Michael Jackson from wish. You look like it I was to blow you would fly off in the wind. When eating that rose it was the first protein you had in 2 years. -Honestly nothing to roast you on your really pretty -Got a Michael Jackson nose and I'm pretty sure I can smell you through the phone -"Cats looking like ""how the fuck did my shit get out of the litter box""" -Only Travis Kelce could appreciate an ass that flat. -Oh my god I wanna roast your cat actually -If you were placed horizontally in that power rack you could be mistaken for a barbell. -The pic with the goats melt my heart. Goats are very cute creatures and I love them so much. I had a goat when I was a kid and he always ate my outdoor toys but I didn't care. If my hoa would allow it I would have like 3 goats in my back yard and never pay to get my lawn mowed 😭 -You look like you serve roast beef sandwiches hands free. -"You like a line of cocaine. Thin white, and I don’t want to do you. Guess me and your ex have something in common." -I looked for heroine puncture points on your arm and found them on your chin instead -comment -The only reason people date you is because they want to meet Chris Hansen -"You look like you're cosplaying as a high school student rather than actually working at a ""new job"". Does said job pay per client or by the hour?" -You look like you squeak with each thrust. -"Stop playing around doing roasts, the restaurant isn’t going to run itself" -Your job definitely isn’t valet or parking cars. -“You’re hot”. Or “I’m proud of you.” -You stole those glasses from a special needs kid. -I bet your new job blows. -Nice Japanese schoolgirl outfit for your online “Jackoff “ business. -Do you tuck your cock to the left or the right? -i don’t roast 12 yr olds -"""I'm gonna cum""" -You are bad at math. -Showing your butthole to strangers isn’t a real job -"26 and dress like a Japanese schoolgirl? I have a feeling your list of waifus is longer than your resume. Even if you got transported to an anime world, you’d still be a background character" -Is that a purity ring? -You look like you’re not allowed around peanut butter anymore -Temu Britney Spears -Is your new job haunting the toilet at Hogwarts -"I didn't realize it was your first day when I saw you at ""Lucky massage"" earlier. Should've said something." -"“Hey everyone, that’s my daughter!”" -These sex dolls have become more and more lifelike ..almost looks real .. -You look like a flight attendant in a shitty porno. -...that you haven't heard before? You're 13. -"My man, what’s your skin conditioner?" -That’s a dude. -"Say something you haven't heard before 🤔 -""Can I get your phone number?""" -"Hey, great job, today! Thanks for being a valued employee!" -You did a great job today come back tomorrow -"Hey, you're taller than me!!!" -talk to me when doctor! -Harry Potter gender bend New job at a Boba Cafe looking ass -"You look like my Japanese sex doll, after it's been left outside during a hurricane." -Let's go out again -A blow job doesn't count as a job. -I hate you because my boyfriend would masterbate to you -Who knew Harry Potter went trans? -"Posting on Reddit from the Casting Couch, I see." -I can't roast you because you are barley 13. -"I approve of your life accomplishments - -- Dad" -"""Krieger-dan, my cherry blossoms are waiting!""" -"So, you’re the newest member of Babymetal?" -What's your new job? Bait girl on To Catch a Predator? -"Do guys pay you to ""lip off"" your panty hose?" -New job? Ohhh you mean your playing pretend ok good for you -"Something your parents have never said to you. ""I love you""" -"Very proud of you, Sweetheart. You're doing great." -Middle school isn't a job -You look so unique in those glasses and that hairstyle. -Look like a trans Harry Potter. -"say something you havent heard before...hmm...ah okay i got it. - -""Im proud of you, daughter.""" -"Even those glasses can hide the great divide, which are your eyes." -So many jealous peeps in here nothing positive! Congrats on new job -Why are you dressed like a 6 year old? Is that a thing? -"“Ohhhh, me so ho-nay! Me love you long time! Me sucky sucky!”" -"If we lift up your anime skirt, this will be shota, I'm sure." -“Your grades are good enough” -Tagger name of SubparEnding69 -"I'd say you probably haven't heard ""nama nakadashi"" before in your job, but who am I kidding?" -The smartest thing in this picture is the tie -When I look at you I don’t think uwu just eww. -I got put on a watch list just for clicking this -POV:How the average isekai side character looks -"No, this isn’t Lisa and I’m not interested in a work from -Home job paying 3500 a week" -"alright, we all going on some type of FBI watchlist for viewing this" -I bet you prey on guys with an Asian girl fetish. -you're 26 but can't stop wearing the school dress in hopes that someday you'll look sexy in it -That’s great you got a new job! You haven’t let that extra chromosome hold you back. Way to go! -"I'm in Pattaya now, I think I saw you at a Soi 6 bar." -What's the job? Secretary to a tentacle monster? -"Dressing like you’re auditioning for a reboot of a high school drama at 26? Bold choice. It’s like your career advice came from “Clueless” and you took it as a personal style guide. I’m not sure if your new job is in fashion or babysitting, but you’re definitely keeping people guessing. Also, those glasses? Giving major “professor by day, e-girl by night” vibes, but hey, who says you can’t multitask?" -"When you message people for the first time, they automatically assume you are really a Nigerian scammer just using your photos." -Are you ready for your 2nd single and alone Christmas? -"When I was growing up, my sister had a pair of frilly socks that give off the same vibes as you. This is a very unfortunate thing. From now on, I shall refer to you exclusively as ""frilly sock girl""." -Damm what JAV tag are you going to be? -Congratulations on your new job at Hogwarts! -Her new job consists of fucking her dad to pay rent then crying herself to sleep on her hello kitty pillow -You're beautiful -"Not a roast, but that’s a legit tie." -When you order Hermione off wish -Sits in weather ballons to spy on South Korea -Are you going to a K-pop concert or did you just come back from one? -You’d look great on the side of a Civic. -You mostly hang out with nerds because they worship you. Normal people find you annoying. -You'll be on top in no time -"New job, new thirst, on Reddit she dives, -Fishing for likes just to feel alive. -Dressed like a character no one quite gets, -A real-life anime queen of regrets." -How can I acquire you -You look like I could buy you out of a Tokyo vending machine -Quit taking photos on Reddit and get back to the library so I can check out my books. -She cosplays as someone interesting -This looks like a picture that the FBI found on the computer of someome who's going to prison for a loooong time. -Looks like you stole a pair of John Lennon's glasses -All the electricity powering the internet weighs the same as an apricot.😜 There you go -You look like the spawn of Cthulhu and Haruka Ayase. I’m sure you’ve never heard that before -"You look like you'd be on a Disney show, but not the main character, you'd be a backup there to make the MC look better by comparison" -Get back to class. Your kindergarten class supposed be making Christmas trees with dried pasta. A gift for Mommy and Poppy. -"Those round glasses? Sure, they scream “quirky librarian vibes,” but paired with that schoolgirl-inspired outfit, it’s more “trying to relive high school anime dreams” than actual grown-up chic. And that soft purple lighting? We get it—you’re going for a dreamy, ethereal look, but it’s honestly just giving “budget K-pop MV filmed in a bedroom.” - -And the expression? It’s like you’re halfway between a wink and a “this is my cute face,” but darling, cuteness doesn’t have to be forced. Keep trying to serve that kawaii energy, though; maybe one day you’ll convince someone besides yourself that you’re the real deal." -Don’t forget to put my ketchup heart on my Omurice. -The tie goes inside the vest. And congratulations on the new job! -"You look like an anime girl whose boss at her first job is so nice to her until that night when she's working late and discovers her boss is actually a demon. - -A tentacle demon." -"“Good job, you’ve made me a proud father”" -U go gurl! -What’s your job softening fabric? Bc you look kind of downy. -"I'm sorry, but OP is so stinking cute, I just want to dip her in my coffee! -Sorrynotsorry--good java is the only kind of roast I can give her right now." -Your average bronze overwatch player that needs to be boosted to silver. -You used to hiss at people in the school hallway didn't you -"Is ""ah ichy ni san ah arigato"" your fav sound on tik tok?" -"Oh, so you're an e-girl? The kind that treats *every* selfie like it’s auditioning for a Hot Topic ad, with just enough filters to turn a Renaissance painting into a Snapchat masterpiece. You’re rocking that ""I'm mysterious but definitely not"" vibe, with anime cat ears, pastel hair, and an attitude that says, “I'm edgy... as long as my Wi-Fi holds up.” - -Your wardrobe is like a virtual collage of fishnets, oversized hoodies, and neon chokers—all carefully curated to look like it took zero effort. In reality, you spent 45 minutes trying to make sure your eyeliner was perfectly asymmetrical, only to caption the pic, “Oops, just rolled out of bed.” Right. Because I’m sure you sleep in those five pounds of glittery blush and lip gloss. - -Let’s be real, you’re on Twitch whispering, “Thanks for the dono, UwU” to dudes whose idea of romance is watching you play *Valorant* while they send “simp” as a compliment. The only thing thirstier than your follower count is the amount of time you spend giving the camera that ""I'm not like other girls"" look. But here’s the twist—you *are* like other girls. Just with a different color scheme and more heart emojis. - -So keep collecting those Twitch subs and posting those “accidentally perfect” selfies. You’re the Mona Lisa of e-girls: cryptic, captivating, and probably judging me just as hard as I’m judging you." -"Hands must be really soft yet callused all at the same time from the massage oil and handjobs being done at the new job. -Just watch out for carpal tunnel .... -Guys would have love the uniform" -*jerking it* -Me love you long time -you don’t look generic at all so unique -You’d be an ugly white man -I want to motor boat those giant titties -You look like Turk from Tarzan -"Yes we get it you like anime and hate the sun, get a real hobby." -You look like a maid cafe host but with benefits. -So I got a tutor and an anime girl -"""I love you"" but serious" -"You mean like, how you look like Moaning Myrtle... and your shag-worthy?" -Is your new job the actor for the rip off Japanese version of never been kissed? -This is clearly not an adult. Fucking christ kids. -"It seems like the new job is all about publishing paywalled content and chatting with subscribers. So basically, I'm a digital bouncer at the VIP club of ""information"". ""Sorry, no entry unless you can cough up the cash!"" And I guess my side gig is being a professional chatterbox—because who knew small talk could cost so much? 🤣😂" -"Another one straight off the line at the OW/VAL playing e-girl DDLG factory. Shift’s over, we can go home lads." -26?!?......shit. -Does your job involve eating bats? And selling DVD's? -"""I love you.""" -Your 26?? Damn I must be 18 -"So the John wanted a “school girl” experience, huh?" -New job the new guy she gave a blowjob too -Wanna go another round? -26? Are you old enough to even drive? -"You have such delicate, small hands" -you look like a female that I’ll never meet not because you’re not in my area or in my league because they won’t let you out of that sweatshop you work -Did it hurt when daddy spanked you? -No -New job is a funny way to say comfort girl -Cute glasses. -Good job -What is the address of the new job? I could use a table shower. -We'll truly know when we see what's underneath. -Something you haven’t heard before? “I love you “ -You are cute for a dwarf? -Hello Pity Kitty -Was it a blow job? -You aren't that ugly. -You forgot to write below before job. -"""I'm proud of you.""" -"You look like something that would come slopping out of my ass after binging on Taco Bell, beer and Mountain Dew for 2 weeks straight" -“You’re pretty”. -"Hey, beautiful, I'm glad you're home." -As your dad I'm proud to call you mine -Your parents saying: I love you. -Does your new job have a casting couch? -26 months old is to young for you to work in our country -I'm proud of you. Bet you haven't heard that before. -"Here’s something you’ll never hear from your new boss: - -“This is the last time I’ll ever make you do this, I promise.”" -I want to Moon a Sailor -"Something you haven’t heard before? - -How about, “Can’t wait to see you again”?" -Was it your job to work a Harry Potter convention? -Did you love them long time with happy ending? -You get carded a lot for alcohol I bet. -Not 26. -You look the reject from a porn movie -She's not even trying the sexy school girl thing. She just hasn't graduated yet. -You stink you fucker -"""I love you.""" -Are you paid to be a npc at an anime convention? -nice rack -You look like the porn I beat my dick to. -"Something you haven't heard before...""You're attractive!""" -What grade are you in -The cosplay Cafe you work at is really classy. -"Father: ""I just want you to know, I'm proud of you."" - -That's probably a new one for you." -Hand or blow? -You have a personality. -"""One day , I'll take you away from this Wendy's dumpster""" -Mommy and Daddy are proud of you…. -"When's your next job? Just so you know young woman, sucking dick in a telephone booth does not make you a call girl!!" -"Does the new ""job"" require that you give happy endings?" -U look pretty -stop tickling -someone got bored posting regular OF content... -Your tie is crooked -"Oh honey, ""new job"" but same filter, I see. Giving us all cute but professional, like you're interviewing to be the CEO of a stationery store. The aesthetic is ""soft girl,"" but I'm getting the vibes of someone who’s just one iced matcha away from a minor existential crisis. Those glasses? Iconic. They scream “I read manga and call it literature.” And the whole ""say something I haven't heard before""? Babe, it’s like challenging the internet to be more original than your collection of pastel scrunchies. Keep slaying, though—just know we're all here waiting for the transformation from kawaii to chaotic." -The first temu asian i have seen. This post Covid world is awful. -"“Honey, you are so sophisticated that any company would be happy to have you.” -—-mom" -Good girl -Your eyes always make you look surprised. -Getting a late start as a kink escort. -Im proud of you -Selling your panties isn't a job. -Very useable -"Gross. Seriously, everything about you is just… ew." -Looking for a green card at each dong -"Extremely sexual but you dress like a grade schooler. - -It's like you get a kick out of being the bait for predator YouTube channels" -"Something you never heard before? ""Can I get your number?""" -Something you haven’t heard before?…. You’re beautiful -"""That's a really good tuck job""" -I think I saw that pixelated movie. -"OF isn't really a ""job""." -put a sea cucumber into your sleeping father’s mouth -"You clearly never heard ""i'mProud of you son"" prolly one of the reasons why you become femboy" -What do you want to feel worse than you did a few hours ago with your boss? -Pretty sure that a 10yr old buy -“Something I haven’t heard before.” -"You are so adorable that most guys who like you will be too intimidated to ask you out. - -Boom! Roasted." -"Is your new job, Hand?" -There’s better ways to get dick pics. -"""Could you actually give me a sad ending?""" -I’m your father and you make me proud. -Something you haven't heard before? Ok... I love you from your parents. -You’re a rejected amine character that got scrapped and picked up by the janitor. -Something you haven’t heard before: a guy genuinely saying he’d like to go on a date with you! -"First day of job orientation and your tie is out. So, what bathroom stall did your lesson begin? You look like a backup dancer for the Chinese tiktok video about a Role playing Game - Soramafuurasaka (song name)." -"You dress like an anime character, but in real life, you’re just the sidekick in everyone else’s story. That ‘new job’ is probably trying to pay off all those manga fantasies you’re never going to live out." -"""Something you haven't heard before" -You look amazing. -You're beautiful -"You're a lot more fun when you're not dressed as a girl, Tommy." -Your dad saying “ I love you “ -She does of I can tell. By job she means selling bath water. I almost forgot her crush. She likes kpop boy bands. -I respect you -You have a look only incels would like. -Have you seen my cat? -Her “new job” was the trick she just pulled. -Your beutiful (you said something you never heard before) -"You look 13. - -Just don’t put up any personal videos, you’ll put men in prison for 3 minutes of shame." -Is this your first grade picture -marry me? -I am 100% certain you identify as a cartoon character. -Nice fake stupid non-prescription glasses -Was the job impersonating someone on the Hogwarts Express? -Proud o‘ ya -Say something you have never heard before? “I think you’re cute and I’d love to date you” -Is your new job porn? -"since you have the glasses for it, how does pluto look?" -I love you -"""yes, you do satisfy me"" - every past, present, future employer and lover." -You are welcome at this home. -We're glad you're our daughter. -Hentai porn only fans -If you got time to lean you got time to clean. Get back to work. You're not being paid $2/hr to be lazy -Avada Kedavra! -"Is your new job at happy ending message parlor? How much for the sucky sucky? -Where can I find your “a la carte” -Menu?" -Where's your sister Fook Mi? -I call top -New job as the stripper that only creepy middle-aged men order? -Me wub you wong tiime -"""Blowjob"" ain't a job." -"You say you just got back from a new job, but it looks like your real calling was posing as the ‘Before’ picture for a tutorial on how not to take selfies." -Just know that the men who date you will eventually end up in a registry... -I’m proud of you. -Doink! -"Tell me, was it a hand job?" -I see hogwarts let you out early…ala ka beezille ala ka zamm im going to stretch out your butthole…i had something for this…fuck it anal!! -"FBI, open up!!!!! Okay, now that's out of my system...." -I love you. -You look like if I'm too mean you'd call me a baka -You look like you’re on the cover of an Anime everyone skips -"A Baloo is a bear, to wuzzle is to mix." -Something I haven't heard before. -"Long-distance boyfriend number 13 isn't going to be the one, either." -Some people prefer a cucumber better pickled -Thanks for coming back taoday -Doesn’t that violate child labor laws? -I refuse to roast you because I don't want to be put on some FBI watchlist. -Hermione Hoang Duk Granger -my dildo is so spiky and it is 12 in long -You belong in an anime series of some kind -“I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends.” -Huh. Could have fooled me. You look like you lurk r/teenagers for fashion advice. -You could be a lady boy.. hmm -"I respect you, I’d like to hear what you have to say" -Are you missing a chromosome or two? -"Something you never hear.....""dad's home""" -“I love you.” - Dad -"You know those Japanese anime stories where they have a woodland spirit that’s half human and half pig, well that’s you except you’re half pre pubescent teen and half pig. Like an awkward teenage pig spirit that spends its time nosing through books while sniffing out truffles on the forest floor" -It looks like you travelled all of Japan to listen to insults but they ran out. -"You didn’t get enough validation from mommy or daddy so you had to go to TikTok with cosplay thirst traps, but clearly you aren’t getting any validation there either that you have to beg to be roasted for just a smidgeon of attention." -"You’re generic, but being Asian isn’t even the full reason." -"What is worse: the roasts in this thread, or your parents' disappointment with you?" -"You’re prettier than you think you are, and not as pretty as others tell you." -Can I buy your panties? -nice work -You are old enough to get drafted in to the military and you won’t have that smile on your face…. If things were equal. That’s just a guess though. -I want that special special with my massage -I know u put 26f on ur application but aren't there child labor laws that make an employer verify your age? -We encourage people sleeping their way to the top ! -You look like the wank sock of a fat middle aged sex tourist -That’s actually 36. -You mean 16? -"""I'm proud of you.""" -You look like you have no idea that there's more to sex than sticking out your tongue and drooling. -Do you have plans to haunt a toilet at Hogwarts? The sound of you crying has got to drive people insane. -Does your dad acknowledge you as his daughter or pretend you're not there because he wanted a son? -You're beautiful and loved. Your parents are proud of you and so are your friends. -"""Let's go out on a date"" I'm sure you've never heard that" -"“You make your father proud” - -“We value your input” - -“I can’t wait to introduce you to my family” - -“You’re here for your brains” - -“You’re not the reason your father and I split” - -lol so many ways to go 🤣" -These trans women are getting better and better looking every day. -im proud of you -"You look like you got beaten nearly to death with a stack of manga. Did that ""new job"" require you to ""look up at me and swallow?""" -The only thing that’s more tired than your aesthetic is that smile trying to convince yourself that’s everything is ok -You look like you say “Like and Subscribe” instead of saying “thank you”. -I'm proud of you. -When you get roasted which delicious regional cuisine does it smell like? -Daughter..I'm so proud of you -Dressing like you’re 12 when you’re well into your twenties would explain why you’re still single. Major red flag. -You look like the teen titans theme song -Shih Tzu - Art of Yap -Fugly AmiYumi -The word Rice said correctly by any member of your family -Divorce Bait... I suppose that's a compliment -"""Say something I haven't heard before"". - -I love you..." -You wouldnt survive ukraine -If I phuck u long time was a person. -Omg. You’re beautiful! 🤩 -"Police investigators, please. You've gotta do better than Reddit for baiting surely?" -"When drowning the human body well actually fight against drowning for a good minute before it actually just gives up and let the water flow into your lungs, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN 💀💀💀" -You just look absolutely unreasonable... 😡 -Is your coochie also slanted? -You look like you sell your bottled farts to lonely guys on the internet -You look like a product of cultural appropriation -"You look cute, how big is your dick?" -comment -"If we roasted you, you might eat yourself" -Been filling yourself more like it -Glad you're feeling yourself! God knows no one else is gonna do it... -You look like you’re a groundhog that got his wish to be human -"I usually never advocate this, but please join some sort of shame-based religion." -"Dude, if you are here doing this, then who is ringing the bell in Notre Dame?" -"NSFHC - -Not Safe For Human Contact" -"Ginger, speccy and obese...the holy trinity of fugly" -If I had tits like that I’d feel myself too -CarrotFlop -Damn bro save some pussy for the rest of us. -Fed Sheeran -That Red Robin bag was definitely unnecessary -The irony that today I was thinking about how obscenity laws shouldn't exist and you just had to go and convince me otherwise. -"Youre trying to own your fatness, but clearly your fatness will always own you." -Full Irish Jerry Garcia. With none of the talent and twice the fat -That FUPA is your best feature... -Been feeling heartburn? -How difficult was it to remove all that blue body paint after the Olympic opening ceremony? -Your dog lives in constant fear that you're going to deep fry him -Nice of you to adopt a dog so that it can feel better about its looks -I can smell these pictures. -Good thing a heart attack will stop you from posting shit like this again. -"Second pic will haunt me for the rest of my life, fuck is wrong with you" -Do you eat the blunt after ur done with it? -"Feeling yourself like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, dude. You look squishy in a sweaty ew gross kinda way." -You’re the reason self esteem can’t be given out for free -Man… if only you had a burger for every time you heard the word “Morbidly.” -Hide and seek champion.. as if someone is looking for you! -"""Been feeling myself recently"" yeah we know! the middle school has you on video and called the cops" -No roast. Just well-intentioned advice: Delete this post. -I got nuthin. You’re a beautiful specimen -"First off, you look like you'd be super fun to hang out with. - -More to the point, though... I was going to say something about how you probably want to eat your socks since they have hamburgers on them. Then I realized you probably can't see your socks." -"Okay, I know the burns are supposed to be more laugh out loud funny. But I looked at your post history and it seems like your divorce has hit you really hard. You look like you have aged 15 years and gained 100+ pounds in 3 years. While the Red Robin picture and others give the appearance of confidence, I’m not buying it. You can still turn this around. You don’t have to be the silly overweight guy who is always the friend and never the boyfriend. Time to start eating right, shave the beard, going to the gym, etc." -Fucking GOD!!! How do you reach such levels of perfection? -"You're Ron Weasley from the bad, very bad, future" -Unroastable. -Inbred Sheeran -"Can even lie man, u the type I'd kick it with." -You give off creepy ice cream truck driver vibes. Stay away from children. -This is how I picture ownage pranks' hillbilly character Billy -Nice set of baby milkers on ya. -TJ Miller with liver damage and a pancreas that doesn’t work instead of brain damage -He showed us the street cone that he sat on in one of those. -"It’s hard to believe anybody feels this but if someone is feeling it, only you makes the most sense." -You look like some mad scientists experiment where they made a hybrid from the DNA from honey boo boo and a beluga whale and accidentally spilled diet mountain dew in it and created you. -No shit you’ve been feeling yourself…probably started young by the looks of you. How many times a day you think you can “feel” yourself now? what’s the record? any other fun sex stats you want to put out there? -You should smile less. -"“Hide and seek world champion” - -Somehow, I just don’t think so" -"You're not the hide and seek champion, it's just that no one's looking" -Captain Ahab has his eye on you! -You carry yourself with the confidence of someone far more attractive. -Your mom needs to take your phone away -you’re the mascot for lgbtq ally man -It’s good to see the kid from Bad Santa is doing alright -"Bro, nothing to roast here, you're a fucking legend." -"How many times have you bitten your own feet after looking down at those socks of yours and losing your mind in a blind hungry frenzy? - -Socks are friends, not food!" -Roast? Hell let him cook. -He's like... He was going to be a some sorta a handsome man but the update was interrupted. -"I appreciate the chad poses. Thats all I got. -Also, please go on a diet" -Body looks like a cankle -You look like the Weasley child they couldn't afford to feed. -You’re that guy that does stupid shit because he’s really insecure about how he looks and wants to beat everybody to making fun you but you still feel crippling loneliness because once everyone who knows you fake laughs you go home and take off your clown makeup and commit to the crippling emptiness that is your life. If you have “friends” it’s because you play the court fool role for them. They will allow your presence as long as you do stupid shit and make them feel better about themselves. The second you crack your head doing a flying elbow through a table full of jello they will replace you with the next discount (insert dead chubby comedian). -I wish someone could love me as much as you love fast food. -There’s better odds for winning lotto than coming up with a fat joke he hasn’t heard. -Well thanks for burning my eyes dude. -"Red Robin has issued a cease and desist for using their bag that way. - -They also wish to issue the statement that in spite of your photo, fromunda cheese is not being added to the menu" -I’d love to roast but I feel like anything I throw at you will…bounce off -"I've heard micro plastics are an issue, but never seen a person completely made from them." -Snack Harlow -"Every girl you pass, covers their drink." -Your hamdsome -Created a paradox by eating all the bottomless Red Robin fries -If we roast you we could end the world hunger 😂😂😂😂 -I bet you are down to doing anything other than loosing weight. -you give off the energy of the human form of Sully from Monsters Inc. -You kinky bitch I thought the fedora was supposed to stay on even in bed. -"Honestly? No notes, you seem impervious to all damage." -I hope your body catches up to your confidence -Those unlimited Red Robin fries have found a home. -Post Bologna -Red Robin hit record profits this quarter because you -I see you brought out your “fine china”. -If you were to work out you’d sweat gravy -The spokesperson that finally put Red Robin out of business -"You put the ""whole"" in ""wholesome""" -Red Robinnnnnnn…..yuckkkkkk -"I’m thinking fireside, candles on the table & near natural water crashing down, with Bluetech bumping quietly in the background… - -Ok, I’m feeling a raw honey with bourbon, coffee and peppercorn rub… maybe a little coarse Himalayan salt, tarragon, lite sage & rosemary sprinkle. - -Smoke him out at 420f for like 8 hours… - -Mix old fashioned’s and serve hole heartedly to loved ones. - -…finish a with scoop of apple ice cream, shuffled with truffles, and of course a freeze-dried Babyruth bar crumble… - -HEY, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! - -& Enjoy. - -🤌🏽" -My Boi out here looking like the white fat Albert -Is that a pughuahua? 🤩 -u look dope idk -Nah you Rock -Brittney Sphere -are you a calculus professor? -What a surprise you ask us to roast you .With a plate in your hand -They call you fuzzy lumpkins -"By Jove, that's off-putting!" -Please don't feel yourself in the presence of children. -Learn to put that plate down. There's no roast here for u bign -You look like Seth Rogan if he was uglier -You're the definition of couch potato -"Look I'm a big, fay, hairy bloke, but after that second pic I feel the need to hit the treadmill and grab a salad. You sir could turn a queen straight. That second pic is the reason we have lesbians." -"Just enjoy the few good moments u still have, with all the fat u have it won't be long until u perish." -dude i can smell you through the screen -Jack Black + Ketchup = This dude -Peter Griffin let himself go -caseoh -Your mom is so proud and your daddy is so 7 states away. -Jonah hill gone back downhill -"Honestly, you're a fucking legend." -I only talk to god when I need a favor -Glad you’re feeling yourself. Keep those chins up! -Can't roast that. That's peak male performance -"You must certainly like yourself, as you have invested in making as much of you as possible." -You look like a guy that orders donuts and lube through doordash. -Ed Sheeran really let himself go. -Glad to see Bruce Vilanch getting work with Red Robin now -Bro this aint gonna be a roast but the 9th pic is crazy -This guy thinks he’s the funniest person around. Everyone else thinks he’s fat and annoying. -There are seriously some dudes who would flip over you! You should have an Onlyfans (onlybears ?) account and make that money -Least unhealthy star wars fan. -"Good Morning Mr.Drunk2Think -Unfortunately a class action lawsuit has been filed against you for optical nerve damage caused directly by your mayo and cinnamon folds. Please note the damage was caused by people removing their own eyes after viewing your beached sea cow body." -Damen un heren. Ladies and gentlemen. A man at his peak. A man about town. His 15 minutes are now concluded. Back to the garbage truck -"idk dude, these pics are kinda bad ass. i don’t wanna roast u…i wanna be your friend?" -My roast isn't even a roast. It's more of a compliment. Temu Seth Rogan -Stop feeling yourself. You'll go blind. -nothing to roast this is what perfection looks like -I see potential -You are probably as hilarious as what you look like -"Damn it you actually look too chill to roast - -Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t know you’re fat?" -Year book caption: Most photogenic manatee. -This photo set helped me commit to my diet AND cured my chronic masturbation problem. -"I got no roast lol... You're cool as fuck. - -A FAT FUCK! ZING!" -"I se nothing to roast here, this man is all of us" -Showing people your empty plate is what got you where you are now -I’m impressed by your self-confidence no matter how misplaced. -"Fat obnoxious fuck like you doesn't care what is said about him, there's no point in the roast." -You couldnt posdibly be single. -Are you young gaben? -U literally r the definition of 'Goofball.' -Nice tits! -You hide your bad self-esteem really poorly by being ”overly goofy” and some of the pics show it. Just go and move more and maybe you will feel better about yourself. -I’ve never seen a pig with a bull’s nose ring -I miss who I was before I saw this post. My eyes are sad. -You look like the only two places we'd fine you are are your mom's basement or in a kitchen with Chris hansen -"Jesus Christ. I don’t even know why I looked through those pictures. I wish I could say you’re funny, but I’d be lying. You look like you smoke the resins resin out of bongs." -He smoked all the grass in his yard. -"You look very identical to a guy whose wife I know from work. She cheated on him and he had no clue. Thought about telling him but decided against it. Still wonder if that was the right call or not. Anyways, you’re big enough to be my motivation to workout. I’m assuming you almost naked in that pic so you can shower with the grease when you’re done." -I can’t even roast this guy he’s just so charming -I was not prepared for pic 2. This dude gets a pass from me. Thanks for the chuckle -Handsome beast right here -I got nothing to roast I just want to hang out -"“I am the walrus, coo coo ca choo”" -Gabe Newell - The Early Years -I’m not roasting you. You look like a good dude. -If Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill had a baby -What a terrible day to have eyes. -Poster boy for 'Murica! -You motivated me to go on a 7 day detox cleanse and water fast thank you 🙏🏻 in your self deification you still brought inspiration -The Red Robin picture was extremely bold. This could’ve gone two completely different ways lol -mods At least 2 discord servers -I want to roast. I so badly do. But this dude probably gets more pussy on personality alone than 80% of the dudes roasting him. Carry on Reddit Chris Farley. Carry on. -"Brah, omg lmfao" -I’m afraid to roast you. The flare ups from the rendering fat would be a fire hazard. -"There's nothing to roast, this is the epitome of the perfect human male." -Red Slobbin -The only thing you’re playing hide and seek with is the gym -"Fat, Ginger, Curly haired, Specky, weirdy Beardy, Toy collecting pot head, croc wanker who dresses in a charity shop in the dark? - -I’m just worried there isn’t enough to go on." -I cannot not roast a sex icon -"Red Robin photo is goated - -Red head so bloated" -Omg lol not a roast but I LOVE that second pic xD -You’ve made me want to lose weight. You’re my example of rock bottom -..Am I the ONLY one that’s hard rn -The second photo game more people PTSD than Vietnam -I got nothing. You look like good vibes and fun. -This is what peak human confidence looks like. Take notes boys. -So fat you got baptised at sea world -"Captain Pepperoni - -Snackbar assemble!" -Feeling yourself is the first thing that happens when you start to lose circulation lay off the Hot Pockets and Walgreens Sushi -"Bro looks like an absolute delight, I can't even diss him" -He’s looking at that traffic cone as if to say “Just my size “ -I was not ready for that picture line up. -"""Make me laugh ya goofballs"", you are the goofball here, not us" -He’s roasting us with those pictures -I can’t roast you! You are incredibly sexy! -Inaction Bronson -I have to give u props for the photo line up and creativity of said photos.....thanks for the laugh -Bro looks chill af -That bed picture is awesome 😂 -You look like the failed abortion of Ed Sheeran and Action Bronson -Damn bro your tits are bigger than mine! -Beautful tits -Your confidence is unearned and your sharpness is that of a marbled surface which makes it understandable as to why you would think confidence is the way -Oh my lord. You have way too much confidence for someone that looks like that. -You look like a hoot to hang with hella funny and carefree -"I'm not gonna roast you, you genuinely look like a blast to hang out with!" -"There was legit an ozempic ad below this post as I was reading comments 🤣 but honestly, putting the LGBT vibes you put off aside..you seem like a fun, happy guy. Some of these comments are just mean hearted..it's a roast people, insult away! but remember it's supposed to be funny not devastate the roastee ffs" -Not a roast genuinely seems like you a fun and cool guy -this what a man who is comfortable with his life looks like. -"I thought there is no way he’s actually that fat. Then I thought maybe he swallowed some second graders. - -Then it hit me. He’s a drug mule. That’s at least 72 coke filled balloons. And maybe some second graders." -No notes! This is what peak male athleticism looks like and there's not a G\*ddamn thing you can do about it! -well i was but then you pulled out a joint so nvm -Good thing Stavros isn't litigious. Two of these shots are straight IP theft. -I hope you paid that dog for the lap dance -"Take better care of yourself, brother" -"Hey look, Sentient Velveeta!" -Honestly I never thought I loved Red Robin as much as I do now -Did Billy Bob Thorton ever give you your wooden pickle back? -I bet your knees are feeling yourself the most -You look like you give your friends a genuine and heart warming hug when they need it and provide a safe space for your loved ones. Disgusting! ;) -You made it possible to smell someone through a photograph. -Ugh I can’t roast you. You look sick as fuck -"Did you eat the paper? Why is ""Roast me"" on the plate?" -Red robin out to hire you that is marketing ill remember. -"Him eating at Red Robins is the most embarrassing part, im talking about ewwww brutha" -Theo Gone -Nothing to roast here unfortunately this is what peak male performance looks like. -The orange cones are innocent victims. -Your confidence is something I aspire to have!! 😂 -"I can’t roast you, King. Adonis vibes! We should buffet together sometime!" -Bro said get me F#_K up this burger real quick and then proceeded to clap them buns -You look like 6 other dudes I know. -most fit reddit mod -"Bro, not gonna roast you. Honestly, this is hilarious and you seem like a really fun dude" -Ozempic has a 15% fail rate. I know that now bc of u -Temu Seth Rogan. -It’s great that you can have a laugh about yourself! You can join in with the rest of us! -You look like fun OP 🤣👍🏻 -"If you were in a band it’d be MCR… “My Cholesterol Romance.” Or maybe Tom Petty and the Heartstoppers. Or maybe No Greens Day, also can’t forget, Red Hot Chipotle Burritos." -LMFAO the ad under the picture was for weight loss. -"I have heard of the magazine, play girl, but have never heard of play blimp." -If it’s quiet enough you can hear his arteries clogging -When’s the last time you saw your dick without a mirror? -That dog's tongue has had enough of your Friday nights at home with a Costco size jar of peanut butter! -Wow fat and a mullet -This is supposed to be a roast but I think he’s really hot and adorable 😭 -"Iam not going to lie, I can’t roast you because from your pics we would have a good time around town. No Diddy!" -How about a bra for that melon patch you're carrying around? Might help with the backpain... -This man cannot be roasted. -Bro looks like Ed sheeran if he *let it go* -I give you props my man.. I’m not sure why you felt you needed to do this to us.. or to anyone.. or to the world at large.. but here we are.. half blind.. humbled… erect.. and feeling ourselves too. -If the friend zone was a person -Maybe you should worry about what others think. -Is that dogpool in that one pic? -"I can’t roast this man, he did a photo shoot with red robins" -You’re so big your blood type is tomato sauce -He's never met a plate he didn't like. -"Sir, you are fucking beautiful." -Your sexuality doesn’t match your body. -you would definitely be the type of person that would eat that food in bed -"I can’t roast you. I think I love you. Speaking of roast, what’s for dinner?" -Here to say that Red Robin photo TOOK ME OUT! Omg so funny dude. Sorry-I have no roast lolol -"I never comment on any of these but... - -Who would want to roast this man!?!? I just want to be friends with him 😂🫶👊" -Can’t roast you. Might cause a grease fire. -Pic 2 looks like Rose painted by the worst painter. -How many of those traffic cones have been shoved up your ass? Tell the truth. -"Awww, so cute of you taking a last pic of your dog before eating him" -"The beef roast is what you are looking for I think, wrong subreddit." -"No roast here brother. Keep up that awesome personality, the world needs more people like you!" -Finally I've seen a face that makes a pug look like a 10 next to them -Haha thanks for the laugh -Awww I love your spirit! Keep it up 👍 I’m sure you are always a good time! -Crazy how the only sign you could find was a plate -"Bro, you look like a blast to hang out with. You’d fit right in with my friends and I." -"Not the pic of you with the Red Robin! I'd say you ruined that for me, but lord knows my fat will fuck up some burgers and fries like that never happened. - -Wait, this is roast me meaning YOU not me... please hold..." -I bet bro is fun as hell to party with not gonna lie 🤣 -Look like one of those balloons that started inflating on one end and stopped halfway. -Omg! It's an IRL meat canyon cartoon -"You know, you'd be alright if you ate less and took care of yourself better." -Idk how your mom wasnt disgusted while taking that naked pic. -You look like fun...yuns. -You really fucked up Rick and Morty -You make autism cool -"Your mum wanted twins, instead she got you" -Let me guess: fat jokes and ugly jokes. very original guys -"You look like a dude I almost had a ONS with after the bar but luckily sobered up and kicked him out. - -Seamus? That you?" -Jim Doordashian -I know I'm supposed to roast this guy but I love him! 😂👍 Yer fat! Ok I'm done -Roast you? That could take a while. It's going to take a few minutes just to walk around you to grab the seasoning. -This is actually the first person I can’t find anything wrong with. 🧐 -Honestly you look roast proof. You look like you have a awesome sense of humor and own yourself 💯. With that being said you're what I imagine Dustin from stranger things will look like in 10 more years -"1. You misspelled ""feeding"" but w/e it went without saying - -2. I get the feeling you have trouble dating, but that's just because they don't realize you're the whole package. By which I mean you eat the whole package of anything you get your greasy sausage fingers on. - -3. I bet you'd eat the food off your socks if you could reach them." -How do I file public indecency charges against a post? -"Not the typical douchey guy or girl looking for compliments..sorry, can’t roast this at all." -"Good job on all the before photos, can wait to see the afters." -Your mom’s house rules? -You have great confidence. -no lie i aspire to have your confidence -Somewhere there’s a father who’s glad he left. -"With a sense of humor like his I can’t roast him I wanna buy him a beer, but if he was roasted it would be with an apple in his mouth." -"SIR!!! The unmitigated gall, SIR!!! - -I liked having eyes before that 2nd picture...NOW I need to dip them in sulfur, and acid... AND SULFURIC ACID!!! Hope you're happy you monster! 😫 - -IT'S BURNED INTO MY BRAIN NOW!!! THE HORROR!!! 😭😭😭" -"There are some people so cool I just cannot roast. - -I'll do it because I'm committed to the cause... Mmm, you're silly and I like how you style the pubes of your head." -No I can’t. I love how infectious your stupid smile is. Get it away right now. Horrible. -"You gotta have some confidence to post nudes of back rolls we can see from the front, to the part of Reddit that gets off on kicking puppies and making mid tier THOTS cry. - -I would say I'm surprised that the bag could hide the BASKETBALLS on you, but you eat for 500... So just barely." -I like this guy I can’t do it -Second picture. Says enough because holy shit my eyes. -"Definitely think it's good publicity for red Robin, but I still doubt your going to get that job either." -I think you're adorable 🤷🏻‍♀️ -"How are you surrounded by plants, but FAIL TO EAT VEGETABLES?!?" -Nah man. You just too sexy. -Dude I hope you are 50 ft from schools cuz we all know you've been feeling more than just yourself! But who am I kidding you probably barely walk to the bathroom let alone outside. Go touch some grass OP. Lord knows that yard doesn't have any. -"I bet when you dance at concerts, the band skips" -Bro! Sick muk cosplay! -There is actually nothing to roast here except his daily nine chickens he eats for dinner. I applaud the body acceptance and the audacity. Good work. Your crevices must smell like taint. -Dogs face tells me he thought y'all would never get through all that peanut butter -"Roast you? Why, so you can eat it? I think you've had enough, with that obvious Red Robin photo shoot undoubtedly leading to free meals. I'm now expecting them to go bankrupt just to keep you satisfied. - -Almost mistook that as a traffic cone, but upon closer inspection, I realized you just dropped your ice cream. That next pic is what, you, being so proud of licking it all off the pavement, struggling to get back up? No wasted dairy anywhere in your vicinity, I see. - -Shit, the way you eye that dog, I'm just going to assume you already roasted and ate him. Lifelong friends DO NOT go into your stomach. They don't last nearly as long then. Probably why you've been feeling yourself, you keep chewing down everyone else who tries. - -Real talk: good on you for feeling yourself and being comfortable with your body. Not everyone can, but it says a lot about how you are as a person. Hoping I at least gave you a chuckle." -You just convinced me to diet and change my life. What has been seen here today cannot be unseen. -I came here just to say I love our pict! 😂😂😂 -If there were 10 people in the room you would have been nine of them 🌝 -You're so fat if I bought you it would cost more for shipping and handling then just you -I bet you get more paper cuts from plates than books… -"When you take a girl out, the first thing they order is an angel shot." -This gut guy is funny… The credit at the local Taco Bell has to be respected -Glad to see you are already glazed for the roast. -I can’t decide between a dumb joke or a fat joke -I’m never eating Red Robin again -Jerry Garcia vibes! -"looking at you makes me miss the person i was 5 seconds ago, may he rest in piece because ill never get him back🪦" -"The advertisement on the top of the comments is about weight loss, maybe it’s a sign" -trailer park jonah hill -Meth Rogan -What did those cones ever do to you? lol 😂 -"I want to be your friend. -Yes. That's my roast." -Dudes a Tic Tac away from being a substitute UPS delivery truck. -First of all u look like morgen wallen’s cousin Dunkin talkens second of all u look look like a gay ⬛️🟧⭐️ -Bringing fun and friendly vibes - just lose that fucking nose ring and you’re fine. Jesus fucking Christ those fucking things -As the love child of one of Louie ck’s sexual assaults he proving that you can live after the attempted abortion. -Sir you look like a scottish version of meatcanyon -I’ve never seen a ginger Sasquatch but it was worth the curiosity. -Ur skinnier than tomorrow -Honestly that second pic is awsome dude! -Don’t ask him to workout. He’ll eat that too. -"God, i want to but you look chill as fuuuuhck" -How many weeks pregnant are you? -I'm starting to think that this is a kind of variant of revenge p*** -love the energy big bro you real asf -Leave my guy alone and let him work on that personality He so desperately needs -People resent you because you’re happier than they are and probably have a girlfriend and fun job. -Lol you look like a fun chap -"Seems like you’re probably happier than most of us, kind of a reverse roast" -Your last picture was really too predictable -I want to die after seeing that 2nd image -PUGS!!! -"You're like the Jack Black of traffic cone enthusiasts, so full of life and energy that it's almost easy to overlook the fact that you and a traffic cone have the same build. But hey, at least you both know how to stand out in a crowd! -PS: You're awesome!" -I refuse… you are a legend! -The swagger and confidence is off the charts -I'm so tired of these OF lead-ins. -I’d like to roast you but I can’t. Fat joke? Ginger joke? Dumb joke? I don’t know what to pick -That pug breaths better than you -You should’ve been Jesus in the French Olympics -"No roast here, kudos on the red Robin drop, I’d order more bags to hide that body but guessing that’s all u could afford." -These look like weight loss “before” photos. -Feel yourself while you can. Those toes are gonna go numb and rot off when the diabetes takes hold. -You’ve been feeling yourself recently? That’s good; because no one else ever will. -A fellow stoner. You look like Seth Rogan’s bastard son. -"You’re a very handsome and fun loving man. If you were brave enough to lean into your natural attractive-ness and be vulnerable enough to be perceived by others in a serious way, you could actually be happy." -I envy your confidence my friend but not your body -You have sausages for fingers. -"First time I've gagged at one of these roast me posts. Congratulations, I can no longer finish my meal." -Everyone here knows that dog has licked peanut butter off him at some point….what you don’t know is he has also licked peanut butter off the dog. -"You call us goofballs, but you're the one that looks like a meatball" -this is much more effective than Nancy Reagans approach! -If there was such a thing as onlyHams you would be on it. -No roast I can come up with is proper revenge for what you just did to my eyes. Smoldering sockets. -I don't know. I kind of think your quite lovely. No bad vibes today ! -This MF rides the short bus to the Golden Corral Buffet -Fed Sheeran -"Your parents are Carrot Top and a Hobbit. - -(I laughed my ass off at these pics BTW 😂)" -We found the replacement for Hodor for a Game of Thrones prequel -Who the fuck took the second photo u can’t have a gf -I see nothing to roast -So this is what TJ Miller's been up to since he failed as an actor -I'm sorry the second pic got a laugh out of me lol -"He’s feeling himself lately, probably because the last time someone else felt him, they were checking for a pulse. - - -Lol thanks for letting me roast you bro lol have love the socks too" -You're fucking unroastable -"You don't need to announce your 24/7 masturbation to the world, your pictures make it clear enough that you're feeling yourself." -Idk bro you honestly seem unroastable -"the lion the witch and the audacity of this bitch, hats off honestly this guy got balls, i just hope that i too one day can be this stupid." -"i like your energy, in kcals" -You ARE the elephant in the room -You look like a guy who ate his way to the top of the food chain. -"You need Red Robin to hide the fact that your penis was already hidden and you get excited over dirty traffic cones, what more do you want from us? - -Anyways, did you come out of the closet yet? You were looking at that traffic cone pretty hard" -Zack Gagphallicus -“pIzZa ThE hUt!” -Well that escalated quickly -Protect this man at all cost -Never thought I'd see someone about to force themselves on a food order... -"Be nice,he got to much on his plate 🍽" -"Hey look, it’s Blob Ross" -You’re so ranga the ember on what you were smoking gave you sun burn -Simply put my dude there is no possible way to roast you. It would appear that you know who you are how you are and what you are and you love it and you own it. And that's what the f*** I'm talking about. Well played sir. -"I don’t want to roast you, I want to be your friend" -Somebody got the placebo dose of ozempic! -ofc you used a plate for this -"The second photo looks like your wearing pink panties. Are you? And if you are, why? Did you steal them off a wife/significant other? And why do they look like they have hello kitty on them?" -Red Robin’s looking into a cease and desist order right now for you to take down that picture they don’t need that bad PR of what you can look like eating their food -You look skinnier than tomorrow -You should probably put the plate down -"I’m with her on this one, I would also choose the dog" -"Damn brother. I came here expecting to roast you, not fall in love, and I'm not even gay." -On a national banned level for all chinese buffets -"Honestly, I can’t. You look like a whale of a time." -"It’s not teddy swims, It’s teddy can’t swim" -Even your fingers have their own BMI. - Red Robin ad 😂 -Of course you used a plate to write that on. -comment -How stressed were you when the Ashley Madison data hack was leaked? -You look like your sons just sat you down and told you how disappointed they are in you. -Anderson Drooper -You have the soulless gaze of a man that’s been married 20 years. -You look like an actor for pharmaceutical commercials. -I would tell a dad joke but we are looking at it. -You look like you host a glory hole and then go to planned parenthood to protest abortions -The only way you are 53 is if you count in hex! -Do your sons both want to be Mailmen like their biological dad? -Not pictured: New Balance tennis shoes and secret Grindr account. -I’m 50 and you look old enough to be my dad. -"You can take all the bathroom selfies you want, Chris Hansen is still waiting for you outside." -You look like you're about to give me your opinions about immigrants without me asking for it. -"Hair stylist: okay, what are we doing today? - -OP: Yeah. I say, give me somethin' that says, 'I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour and a half to some bullshit job where my jag-off boss expects me to kiss his balls all day just so I can afford to keep my ungrateful, screaming kids decked out in Dora the explorer sh*t and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos until the day I get up the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth.'" -Your wife's boyfriend is gonna be upset when he sees how you hang those hand towels back up -"When people do impressions of you they speak overly nasal and say things like “let’s get this show on the road”, “that’s the whole kit and caboodle”, and “I ordered Mild but this stuff is gonna clear my sinuses!”" -You look like you git c*ck blocked by Chris Hansen -You look like your favourite tv show is the news -Looks like a New Balance influencer on Geocities. -"This guy definitely has a Secret Spot in the house that He enjoys with his laptop and His ""Special Sock "" after His Wife falls asleep." -53 dam looking like 70 -The most generic white guy. -You look like you ruin things for future generations -This last ditch effort to gain validation and forget about the impending erectile dysfunction isn't gonna work. Go back to your kids who don't care and your wife who probably has more feelings now for her Hitachi wand than she does for you. -Thanks for clarifying that you are an old white guy. Never would have guessed -You should rent out your forehead to billboard advertisers. -White you say? -"You look like the type of ""white guy"" who enjoys watching his wife screw the black guy." -"I suppose this is better than lusting after your sons girlfriends on instagram, but honestly, you should really be at a cigar store somewhere questioning Michelle Obama’s sex organs." -Are you friends with your wife’s boyfriend? -You look like Neil Patrick Harris in oldface -I’m glad you said the white guy part I couldn’t tell. married 20 years what’s your husband‘s name? -You look like the dad who brings his Bible on a Boy Scout camping trip and makes condescending remarks to the other dads for telling ghost stories because “that doesn’t bring glory to God”. Everyone in your church is going to know about it when you finally get around to checking your son’s browser history. -You look like your wife of 20 years has invested so much of your money into scentsy and hasn't turned a profit. -At least we all know where you were on Jan. 6th 2021…. -You look like you have coffee farts and short sleeve dress shirts… -You look like you find toothpaste spicy -"When your wife leaves you for her tennis instructor, your kids stop returning your calls, and you're finally not allowed within 250 feet of a school... - -At least you'll have the time to buy a better shirt 🤷‍♂️" -You look like you're about to suck-start your 45. -You look like you were disappointed that your sons are straight. -Gay Leno -Mid life crisis has lasted 10 years now and counting.. -You must live in West Virginia to have been married to your sons for 20 years. -Did u do everything u wanted to do in live?! Bc u don't look like u did. -"Oxycontin, lexipro and a 300lb wife that snores" -Ok dollar store harrison ford -You look like stings unsuccessful little brother stung -You look like you ran out of coke and snorted your hairline instead. -I bet you walk with very stiff limbs and speak fluent German -So did you have any idea Chris Hansen would be there asking you to have a seat…? -Willing to bet my left testicle that you have been telling people you are 53 for about 30 years now -Thanks for telling us you're white. I would have guessed black. -You have resting ‘Can I talk to your Supervisor’ face -"Look...Just because your next door neighbour's 13yo daughter says ''Hi'' when she sees you, doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you" -"Having a slave for 20 years doesn't count as being married, Kyle" -"52? Bullsh*t. I have a few years on you and you look like you could be my older brother, if I had one." -Sexual Predator mugshot face -"Let's face it you gave up feeling, shortly after kid #2. No the only thing that gets your blood pumping, is scotch and politics." -You still tell people you’re only a Republican for fiscal reasons -53 ? More like 1953 -Living no.2 pencil -"Nice try, Mike Pence." -53 going on 90. -You are the reason I fear old age. -That towel's more colorful than you are. -"You look like you refer to your sons as ""bro"" unironically" -Looks like he touches children on church sunday and sniffs their hair while he does it. -You're that actor in some of those movies and on that one episode of that crime show that everyone has seen but never cares to wait through the credits for. -Bill O'Reilly used to be your favorite news commentator. Now it's Jesse Waters. -Boy look like he just got caught by Chris Hansen -"Kyle, your insecurities are showing through your hair again" -100% chance you wear New Balance and could give me advice on my financial portfolio 😊 -"if a haircut defined a person, yours says, “I hate my job. My wife hasn’t used her mouth on me in years. I wonder if i need new tires on the ole family sedan? And, I think I need to water the grass when i get home” all while wearing white leather NB shoes." -"You got the hair cut that says, 'I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour and a half to some bullshit job where my jag-off boss expects me to kiss his balls all day just so I can afford to keep my ungrateful, screaming kids decked out in Dora the explorer sh*t and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos until the day I get up the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth.'" -"Mate, I’m 43, you look old. Are you sure you’re not 73 and you’ve just got dementia? DO YOU NEED HELP TO MAKE THE INTERNET WORK? ITS OK, YOURE NOT IN NAM ANY MORE." -53 is the new 67 -It’s obvious that you’ve been married so long- the look on your face shows the lack of a soul. -This gaze is the same gaze your wife has when she finds out your posting for “online dating advice” on Reddit -You're supposed to write it backwards for a mirror -I know where you were Jan. 6th -I don’t think Reddit is quite in your “zone of interest.” -You're so old that you owned slaves! -You look like you get the wife to check your prostate twice a day👆😀 -"Generic wall, generic door frame, generic Home Depot counter. Generic t-shirt. Look at it this way, it'll all be over soon and you'll be dying alone and hungry. Hallelujah." -We can tell you have 2 sons because your hair is white already -Jesus your only 9 years older than me but look ancient for 53. -"What was it like when they first invented electricity, kind sir?" -With a forehead that big all you do is think -You chose...poorly. -How many wedding anniversaries and birthdays did you miss for your office job? -"Uh, your finger slipped and typed “5” instead of “6.” Don’t worry…happens all of the time." -Oh you are definitely on the SO list -"You look like the many photos I received from DL silver daddies on Grindr (btw… yes, I would)." -"I have the worst time roasting people, but I'll say if you shaved the sides of your head and wore shirts one size smaller, you'd lose about 10 years. Other than that, you look like someone who obsesses over whoever the current president is - or like an unhappy middle manager. At least that's the vibe I get from a picture." -Kripes I’m 57 I gotta look in the mirror I can’t look that old. Seriously for real. -"Im 50, are your sure your not 63? Dont bust in the 24 year old you get drunk with at the office party no matter what birth control she claims to use." -You simatanously look like you sell life insurance and run a funeral palour at the same time -Would have never known he was a white guy. I see why IQ wasn't listed. -"Jeff, that you? How’s the island?" -"You look like you tell your kids to stay in at weekends, because you need their blood to be clean for your transfusions." -Ok tom we told you to stop hitting on the girls next door -Definitely a few kids buried in that crawlspace. -You put regret in “No regrets” -Those dead eyes… -I'd get a paternity test. -"Idk about this one, guys. How many bodies do you think he has in the backyard? Might not wanna roast him." -You sir look like you've roasted some bodies too.. -This picture pierces my soul and hits me right in the cargo shorts -"Mr. ""She told me She was 19 Officer""" -"No point in roasting you, 50 yos are irrelevant in today’s society." -You look like the perp in 70% of Law & Order SVU episodes. -"Lemme guess, you just found out you like wearing high heels and fishnets" -"We will see you again someday on the news, when they are digging up bones from dead prostitutes in your yard." -How was it when you met Chris Hansen -The only thing keeping him going is Viagra and his girlfriend. -"Holy shit, you're white?!?" -You have enough to deal with. Best of luck. -Your eyes look as dead as your bedroom. -Thank God you let us know you’re white. It wasn’t really clear from that photo🙄🙄 -Where were you on January 6th -Bet anything neither kid is yours -Of course you got married to your two sons 20 years ago. -"You look like you get off watching other guys drill your wife. But soon as they begin to like her for real, you step in like a dad chaperone at a quinceanera when your daughters on the dance floor being grinded on by all of her male ""friends""." -"My sympathies. Your wife obviously carefully folded that hand towel on the hanger, so I can only imagine how awful it is to actually live with her. - -You look like you don't shut up about how much you love going to the gym, and complain about ""wokeness""." -Seems like you enjoy the r/NSFW girls as much as I 63m as it is the only way we get to see naked girls at our age 🤪 -This man’s wife has cancer and he’s in here asking for advice on dating apps. Sounds like a typical miserable middle aged white man -I saw you on Grinder -You look like if Mike Pence finally learned to live with himself and publicly came out as gay. -What the fuck is there to roast? This dude is winning. -I thought I was scrolling r/bettercallsaul and this was a pic of Howard Hamlin -"Dude, you are a 53 year old man. Stop taking selfies in the bathroom and asking to be roasted like a teenage girl." -This is what they mean when they say you die at 30 but your buried much later -You look like you get really defensive and vague when people ask you where you were on January 6th. -I didn't know John McCain was still alive. O_o -This roast is the only barbecue you’ll ever be invited to. -I bet your wife beats you 🤣 -You look like you put a photo of yourself through some 'make me look 30 years olde'-app except you're the app. -Looking like a butler at Epstein island on his day off. -bigger hands than trump -Married 20 years with two sons? From that face It looks like its a bunch of cellulite and disappointment. -"Why are you on reddit, enjoy the remaining time u have left. Old man" -The towel matches your hair freak -53 year old guys posting on the roast me subreddit. Im almost too old to comment. -Was it tough looking in the mirror to take this photo. Yeah - looks like it was a struggle. -"Eww -Basic af" -You need to mirror the image dumbass -"Jeffery Epstein, is that you?" -I would but I don’t like to kick people when they’re down 🥲 -Your t shirt is too nice. Wear them till there's substantial fraying. -Slightly younger version of Bill Murray -Hotel Travago spokesman -You left out the part about your kids being the same color as an eggplant -Wow 20 years married that’s impressive these days…what is his name? -Did you have your kids in your forehead -You look like you’re auditioning for an erectile dysfunction or AARP PSA about depression. -Show your palms … so hairy -"you look as dead inside as your description suggest you would be, I guess this is what happens after all these years faking happiness" -Book report now -You looks like a stone cold version of president Biden -Are you having a stroke? -fuck you you fat old fuck!!! -Has sex through a hole in a bed sheet -He looks like he hates interracial relationships and thinks cilantro is too spicy -At what age did your eyes die? -"Your look tells me that you're doing this because you're thinking ""please God, please let me feel something, ANYTHING, again. I can't take this much longer.""" -You look like your forehead was photoshopped onto a normal head of hair. -On the bright side.. another 30 years of complaints and unwanted opinion ahead of you.. -If the flavor VANILLA were a person. -53? You look like you went to high school with Jesus. -"Invest in an eyebrow pencil, it'll change your life." -"The defeat in those bored, bored eyes 🥺" -Dead inside -Sir this isn’t the Lemon Party you’re looking for. - 63+* -Loved you in those valtrex commercials -They only made it to 20 years -The trim of the door matches your haircut and the blah paint on the wall matches the bag of your wardrobe. Usually people look like their dogs not their doors. -"My Great-grandmother has more hair at 80 than you do at 53... Yikes, man." -You look a poster model on an advertisement for why women shouldn’t get in unlicensed taxis -Now tell us where the bodies are -Can’t even hit the rotate button and take a selfie -Yes Kevin we know you’re white. Stop trying to race fish😑 -"53!? Dude, you look like you're ready to start Medicaid next week." -"Ain't roasting ya but I hope you're happy, man. Honestly😭 damn you look sad af💀" -You look like Gordon Ramsey butt fucked Gerry Dee and got him pregnant  -Only thing cumming for you is divorce. -You're even more boring than the depressing pb and j sandwich I just ate with a glass of water -You look look like Joe Biden -You look like youre using your mugshot that Chris Hansen arranged for you. -"Always has 9, 1, pre-dialed on his phone." -53 but that hairline is atleast 80 -you look 70 bruh -Proud of you using tech and social media. Once you learn about self mirroring options for the phones camera it’s going to be a game changer. You got this ! -You look like you ask your son's girlfriends if they have a sister.. -If Chris Hansen caught himself -"I can't figure out what is sadder; the look on your face, or your receding hairline!" -53?? Maybe in 1999...you like like Judge Smails' angrier older brother that was put in jail for beating his wife. -Married 20 years... been in the closet 40 years -"53! No fucking way. I’m not buying it and I can’t believe more people aren’t bringing it up. - -Also this guy looks like he posted in Roast Me just so he can jerk off to the demeaning comments🥇" -“Yeah hon this drink is supposed to fizz and foam at the top” final boss -You’re the 70s-est looking 53 year old I’ve ever seen. -Mike Pence if the Jan 6 insurrectionists got him -Go to bed old man -"Jesus gramps, get back to the nursing home, you’ve forgotten the last 25 years." -He looks like me cleans great uncle Mr dookie -I guess 50 really is the new 90! -Thanks for clarifying the white part. Clearly apparent you’re pale and male -You look good for a Sith lord. -Was this photo taken before the January 6th overthrow attempts or did they let you out of prison already? -You look like in engage strangers in small talk in the ymca locker room when you’re naked. -Do you still tell your wife the grindr app on your phone is for nearby sandwich shops? -Cerebral dead-zone 🧠 -I'm 45 now. In 8 more years I'll look like I'm dying from cancer? -53??? Going on 63 -This guy lets gay look prostitutes suck the ring off of his finger -DAD? -Only two kids? I thought you had thirty of them on your island- -Has Mrs. Disappointed shoot photo. Still holds up phone. -What color is your Corvette? -How many years have your wife and her boyfriend been together? -We're all friends here how many times have you tried hitting on your sons girlfriends? -You look like the reason people hate Boomers. -You have definitely been in more than one fist fight over how to properly smoke a ham. -You look like one of my subs -You look like the spokesperson for “ I am calling about your cars extended warranty “ -You look like a worn out dollar store Neil Patrick Harris -The comb over is supposed to make you NOT look bald -This guy looks like the mascot for white toast and water -You look like the kinda dad that walks in on his son wanking it and tries to help -Why did you feel the need to mention that you're white? -"Boomer will be using this same picture on silversingles soon, his wife is already looking" -The wish version of Chris Hansen. -You look like you have your own supply of chloroform -you sure you aren’t 70 old man? -If Bill Murray never laughed -Colin mockery with a lobotomy -One big hand. -"Your still married, you be roasted enough" -You look like Mr Clean if he ended up getting tired -More white collar crime than your usual stock broker -"Things this guy is known for saying- - -""choke up on the bat, son! Keep your head in the game!"" - -""Another day in paradise, am I right?"" - -""I swear, this technology these days anymore is harder and harder to figure out."" - -""Yep, we're taking the boys up to Tahoe this summer, we got a little camp out spot. And Dan and his crew are meetin' us up there. Gonna bring the fishing rods, right son?"" - -""Afternoon officer. Ohhh, was I going about 10 over? These new Chevy's get up there pretty quick I tell ya."" - -""Well, ya know...happy wife happy life!"" *wipes laughing tears from face - -""We just don't get along like we used to. We're still married though, but these days, rather than get an attorney...we just...get along to get along, ya know?"" - -""Hell yea brother, I still keep a couple Pearl Jam CD's in the stereo in the garage. That Eddie Vedder, he sure kicks ass. Might even dust off the axe this weekend when Keith comes over. He's gonna bring his new metal detector.""" -"Would have never guessed you were white, thanks so much for telling us...." -If depression and Body odor had a face  -You’re so broke you couldn’t afford a standard width door -This is chatgpt generated. -Bro looks like Captain Hair's stunt double. -This looks like an Ozempic commercial. -"Your hairline may be (dramatically) receding, but it sure looks like your confidence isn't. Good on ya, bud!" -The Agreeable Gray walls are the brightest spark of life in this entire picture. -You look like epsteins twin -Man you look like a bundle of joy. -Bro is built like Tenaga-jin or Lanky from Monsters Inc. -adoring fan who got tired of MC’s bullshit -Joe Biden if he cloned himself -You cheat -Shill Murray -People avoid you because you have the face of a NPC and you know nothing in this world but experiencing side effects. -I can't tell if you have resting bitch face or if the opioids just don't let you smile. -Why? Just why? -What kind of mularky do we have here? -"You look like a Prozac “Before” photo. - -Actually, any “Before” photo." -"He looks like he has been roasting people since 1941, his glory days in Germany" -"Only 53? Jesus, you look 83. Are you married to a Kardashian?" -"You look like you treat your secretary's 19 y/o daughter to your desk stash of coke and rum, while watching episodes of MASH, in the hope of getting ""some of that supple, young ass again.""" -Lol! Not so many but I often find myself saying heavens to mergatroid! When I can't find my pocketbook because I left it on the Davenport.. -Why did u shoot Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems? -Claims 53 when he looks like he been buried for 53. -I hope you release those children from your basement and sell the ice cream truck. -His hairline and Duke Dennis goes way back -You look like a future US senator for Kentucky -You look like a Dollar Store Peter Davidson at age 30 if he aged 20 years in a Doctor Who episode. -You look like PaPa from Stranger Things after his Rogaine ran out. -When's your next midlife crisis? -the wall color has more personality than you -Howard Hamlin really let himself go -Your new balances are six years old and still sparkling white. -He so white he had to say it -I bet you have the cleanest pair of New Balance’s around. -That color paint on the walls really brings out the deadness in your eyes. It's incredibly depressing -Grow up -You look like a 60 year old who gave up 10 years ago. -There is no roast I can give that will hurt more than the total contempt for all the things you described shown through the lifeless gaze across your face... -"The last photo taken before picking up the out of frame shotgun and heading downstairs for ""family dinner""." -You look like a visitor of Little Saint James -You look like the lead sales rep at a company that sells staplers. Only staplers. And staplers that offer no real features. Just plain-ass goddamn stapler that comes in black. -Why do you idiots seek the gratification of Reddit users lmao. You’re 53 bro. -Howard -"you look like a dad who can't mow a lawn, operate a grill, or properly chill a beer." -Your head looks like a penis. -I’m your age and you look like my dad. -You married 20 two sons? Damn. -This is the confident face of a guy who has been with each of his sons’ girlfriends and the wife is denial. -"You look like the president of -Fathers -Against -Gay -Society" -This guys makes smoothies for his sons sleepovers -I bet your wife suspects you're gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. -You look like you watched Sigmund and the Seamonsters when you were a little brat. -comment -Call you a Brita with all those filters. -With all the filters you’re using you couldn’t find one to make your pinky look normal? -Paler than the firearms handler on Alex Baldwins next movie -Applied all those filters but the Wynona Judd still shines through -You look like you were mid-end escort in the early 2000’s -keep that makeup on 😬 -"You’re such a ho that when you get a runny nose, it’s because you’re full." -Your tinder profile says „natural beauty“ -"At first I wondered why all the filters, then I saw the last pic. Totally get it." -"Damn, it's truly amazing what filters can do!" -Nice makeup Bondo Queen -Looks like Poison Ivy with down sydrome -Chappell Groan -Imagine how many guys didn't stay for breakfast in the morning -You look like you'll give back alley fun for bus fare change and then just walk home -I think your laugh would be as fake as the filters you used on your photos. So I’ll pass. -You look like the girl who rejects condoms. -I don't send dick pics.... so no laughter today -"It's not Jessica Rabbit, but Methica Rabbit" -These bipolar disorder pamphlets sure are hitting rock bottom -More starved of attention than iron -Your doppelgänger is Boy George -"your real name is peggy, and your future is already predetermined. your husband will be a depressed shoe salesman, and your children will be total failures" -I already know your house has a certain smell -Mega Trashy version of Amber Heard! -Don’t let your face get too close to a flame or heat it will melt -I think I'm in love! I always wanted to meet the landlady from Kung Fu Hustle! -When you order Jessica Rabbit from Temu .. -"Painting a blowjob doll is weird, but I’m kind of into it." -Chapel Groan -You look like your entire adult personality is based off of a movie about witches you saw in the 90's -You look like you cry a lot and give really bad head. -you look like a witch that can’t remember spells -"A guy walks into a club and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the end of the bar. He precedes to buy her a drink and then ask her, “would you sleep with me tonight for a million dollars?” The woman eagerly replies “why yes, I would.” The man then asks the woman “would you sleep with me for 20 bucks?” The woman angrily replies, “what do you think I am?” The man replies, “I think we’ve already established that, right now we are haggling over the price.”" -You have a cabinet full of junk food and a mirror in there so you don't go back to fat  -I’m sorry but clowns scare me. Take the makeup off -You look like your voice sounds like Marge Simpson -Fella Thorne -"High maintenance, low return on investment." -"Your cheek curves on one side of your mouth, like you've had half a Chelsea smile. - -Or a stroke." -"the 4th photo is the definition of ""special""" -Pic 3 looks the best and the least like you. I would lean into that. -Honestly the forth picture made me spit my coffee out -Last pic looks like Kylo ren and Billie eilish emo baby -"It’s like Jessica Rabbit came to life, only if she was the monster in a horror film" -So how are things for eastern witches these days? -Temu Jessica Rabbit. -"I hod to adjust the brightness on my screen from the reflection on your pale face. Also, picture 1 makes your genetics look like they couldn’t decide to make you look like a glossy sex doll or asexual." -"Pass, pass, pass, SMASH, pass.." -Walmart Shannen Doherty. -Every hat size is a problem -You’re so iron deficient that you get bruises when it’s windy -Voted most likely to slash your tires! -Chappell Groan -I think she looks pretty and probably has a nice cat! -Discount Jessica Rabbit -You look like a recovering emo -"#1 badJessica Rabbit. #2 bad Bebe Newirth. #3 bad Morticia Addams. #4 really bad Lucille Ball. -#5. Sad Black Widow." -Calm down Jessica Rabbit -You don’t laugh. You cackle. -I bet your purse sounds like pharmacy goin down the stairs -These pictures look like the comic con versions of 5 leading ladies in subpar sitcoms that are already completely forgotten. -Bet you got a cartoon rabbit following you around -you look like you have reserved parking at planned parenthood -JK Frowning -Forehead looks like a beach right before the Tsunami. -"At this point, may as well shave the eyebrows completely and tattoo ones like a normal chola" -You’re really pretty in the 5th one !! -You look like you believe in astrology -Does your mother knows who your father is? -You’ve got a loyalty card at the abortion clinic -"First three pictures are great, but why did you add pictures of your Gran and Aunt at the end?" -You look like you suck a lot of dick but never got good at it. -"You got beforehead, forehead and afterhead." -"You look like all your ex’s are abusive narcissists, according to you and only you." -WTF is wrong with your pinky? -More baggage than LAX -This is like that tinder album where the girl seems aight in the first profile picture but gets keeps getting worse and worse with every new picture -You look expensive. -"Good from far, but far from good " -"1-4 is you all day, all smiles at work, noontime cry in the bathroom stall . 5 is you at home by yourself. Self roast." -4lbs of makeup just to be a 4. Also you forgot to crop out your receding hairline on the 3rd pic -You're not fooling anyone with your transition. -Album is like a time lapse of your disappearing eyebrows. -A look for each of your personalities. Bravo 👏 -Not sure if these pictures all the same person or just variations of your personalities. -"> im bored make me laugh - -You could have done this yourself with a mirror" -Chappell didn't mention that the girl who stole her aesthetic couldn't pull it off. -"OP: ""Make me laugh"" -Me: holds up mirror" -Your photos belong in a bathroom stall in 1950 -Bonnie Ratt -But she’s got a great personality -I'm just as bored looking at you as you are being you -This should be what is displayed in the Borderline Personality Disorder identification handbook they give to new shrinks -Jeez how many of your teeth has your dad knocked out -"When you are that boring, you have to base your whole personality on your hair." -Looking at your pictures made me bored -"Make you laugh? - -Those plasticky lips can make a laughing shape?" -If Tori Amos failed and had to start an OnlyFans. -I bet her pillow looks like the shroud of turin in the morning. -That dome has it's own zip code -Something about you just screams Jersey to me. -Thanks to you for making us laugh 🤣 -You look like you lather in Elmer’s glue -All seed avocado -Posted a glow down -You look like uncooked pizza -Swipe to the floor -You would be really pretty if you had a different face. -You definitely glow in the dark. -"I wasn't wearing my glasses. I thought, 'I'm bored' said 'Inbred'. I initially thought you were courageous. Now, I think you have no excuse." -"Megatron, you should suck on a shot glass before you pout." -"Hot but scary, mostly scary though." -The fourth picture is the best 🤪 -Would smash -You look as disappointed as I would be if you showed up as my escort -Who knew someone would perm their hair to match their teeth. -Amouranth before the plastic surgery and popularity. -She had to start thinning her nose with makeup because the toucans kept mistaking her for a mate -"I could definitely see you as a vampire in a movie, well a porno movie, but you will tell everyone it’s a movie you stared in." -Does your skin tone light up a room? Because your face sure doesn’t. -I think you posting yourself up to roast Every other day is enough of a roast on your insecurities -Whither duck lips like that I get you can suck a golf ball threw a straw  -Aren't you supposed to be ugly for this kind of thing? I got nothing I give up lol -She look like the akk tou girl -Id hit that -I love red just not on u! -Single with 2 kids vibe -This is like the fifth time you’ve posted ma’am you have an issue -she has as many personalities as she has hair colors. proceed with caution -Usually guys say they like natural beauty over makeup. But for you they’d make a strong exception. -You're not nearly pretty enough for such a nonchalant title -I've seen sexdolls with more life than you. -You look like a drag queen Patrick Mahomes -Winona Judd? -Google Mac tonight -What a sad ending 😔 😢 -Anyone else see the girl on the nose? -Balls -Oh so The Judds were a trio -"Your bio is exactly why I'm here... bored, and I'm laughing at you." -Your vegetarianism is the most exciting thing about you. -Why is there a sex doll on here -You're built like a not so bright light bulb -More filters than a sewage plant -5 head -You use more filters than Starbucks. -5 stages of loneliness -5 picture transformation of you walking past a blow dryer. Where’d the hot chick go? -Toxic for sure -"What the fuck is it with all the massive noses on here lately? - -Looking like a National Geographic Elephant in drag with that trunk" -the paper has bigger tits than you -"Grandma let you wear her sweater ,,,..awww I bet it smells like moth balls." -hello -Fake trees used? -"I would, but that would crack who knows how many years of powder solidified in your face." -This series or pics should be called “Catfishing: A Journey” -Forehead like a drive-in movie theater screen -Is that a boomerang attached to your face? -I'm 90% sure your arms are hairy AF. -"Bitch I’ll pay you to keep yo fucking clothes ON gawddamn. I kept wondering “why all the filters?” Then I saw the last photo and I understood. With that fucking hairline bitch shoulda auditioned for Pennywise’s forehead double, or should I say triple holy shit" -Your so white if this were the late 90s Courtney Love would of snorted you. -So basically ur so gorg I can’t -Character creator-looking ass… -"You’re living proof that people aren’t born beautiful. - -But after a life time of learning, expendable income and if you really work at it, you can get partially there. - -Joking of course, you look great for a 48 year old." -Solid 3 -Gross -You look like you say you’re “not vanilla”. But you starfish like a champ -I’m betting with all of those filters it takes your phone six hours to render a pic. You’re so pale you’d get a sunburn from your tv screen. I bet you go to visit friends and tell them you can sense unearthly presences of their long departed family members in their home. -You can serve chicken skewers with that nkse -Doesn’t matter trying to look good trying to look ugly I don’t know who the fuck she is looking at -You’re like Kat Dennings if she just gave up. -didnt realise they made casper sex dolls with foreheads that big -Brows looking like my dog dragged his ass on them -If I walked into home goods and asked for kitchen towels that reeked insecurity it wouldn’t equal the patheticness of these pictures -You look like you prey on broken men -Toucan looking for his mate -Dang girl!!!! Do you have dreams or imax movies in that dome??? You should draw a nipple on your forehead and tell everybody the third one slipped out!!! -You look like you give lazy 10 cents handjobs behind the dumpster of a Burger King in exchange for Vienna sausages - Look like a manakin at an incel’s house who has an Addams family fetish -5 6 9 2 3 -"You’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering" -"Keep the make up on, sweetheart." -"Calculating and generating ""*generic batshit crazy stage 5 clinger*"":" -"The earth is technically flat. -. -. -. -. -. -. -Less than 1% of all fluids on the planet are carbonated." -I feel like this chick get jizzed on. A lot. -Red head step child. -Not enough action on your OnlyFans page tonight huh? -If an unenthusiastic fart had a face. -If a boring half assed blow job was a real person. -If Jessica Rabbit did meth. - Michael Jackson Face and nose -The McDonald's at home for Chappel Roan. -"If I really wanted to make you laugh, I'd show you a mirror." -You are British. -"Pretty face, but if Tinder has taught me anything, it’s that a girl with 5 consecutive tightly-cropped face pictures is always…and I mean ALWAYS, hiding a sloppy, fat body." -Your a hottie 😍 -Your iq equals the amount of pics that show your full body -Madam Tussaud’s -"You look like you’re made of porcelain! You know, like a toilet, which makes sense because you let guys shit on you as well" -"You look like Halloween is your favorite holiday. -Also look like you can't figure out why guys only call you for booty after your tell them your favorite holiday." -"Ethel, your sitcom days were over 30 years ago" -"You look way better without the make up, you ruin your face when you wear it" -This girl is proof that AI still isn’t more powerful than makeup -Look in the mirror -Lucille Balls-In-Her-Mouth -"That's not a forehead, that's a FIVEhead! Wow!" -Doess your house don't own any mirros? How can you get bored with that face? -Behind pale skin is always a blessing!!!! -Christ that makeup is doing some heavy lifting. -I’d rather make you cry but it looks like you already do that most nights. -It’s too easy -AI IS ATTACKING!! -"Bro!!! -That forehead’s so big it’s probably hosting free Wi-Fi, and that hairline looks like it’s trying to socially distance from your eyebrows." -Amy Nobeck -Bigly forehead. -Storm from X men kissed the devil. -Just go have a BBC gang bang like you usually do -Cross eyed AND a big nose? That’s the BJ motherlode - sign me up! -Picture 3 is what you get when you're dating her. Picture 4 is what you get when you marry her. -The caption should have been “BTS of an OF model - the bloopers and all the ugly things !!! “ -"It must be boring, doing a shit job with your makeup and not even desperate fat incels hitting you up because you hear that’s how you get validation." -The curlers pic is trying way too hard -Can we see your teefs? -Nice spackle work on that drywall -If you change the first letter of duckface you'll find the only thing those stupid lips are good for -What’s with the micro pinky -go look in the mirror. If you’re not frightened you should get a good chuckle! -You look like you steal dry erase markers and hamburger patties for the fun of it -Who’s the dumpster fire in the last pic? -Jesus why does this girl wear so much make up in all of these? Then I got to the last picture and found out. -"Why did the French man put dynamite in his kitchen? - -He wanted to see linoleum blown apart." -All I can hear in the fourth one is you talking like the special need panda from Kung fu panda 3: I dwopped my skittels -Even your eyebrows have given up on you -what do u get when u have walnuts on your chest. a dick in your mouth -You're probably bored because you have no personality -"Putting lips are as sexy as blue balls, no guy wants to see any more ." -Shit... -Stop plucking your eyebrows -Do you have blinkers on your ears to let others know when your nose is turning? -Each picture looks fucked up in its own unique way -This isn’t a roast but you look like someone I wanna be friends with! Lol. -24? You don’t look a day over 30 -So is it just your face that looks like Gru or do you have his ass too? -If you had a onlyfans I would unsubscribe right away. -You look like a different person in each picture. -These are Jessica Rabbit’s “after” pictures -Makeup is sorcery -L’Oréal failed -I’m glad you finally escaped the basement and are able to get sunlight for the first time ❤️ -"Roasting you is going to be tough. You're really hot. Like, Harvey Weinstein victim hot." -Reddit is great platform to debut your portfolio you had done at the mall -Filters on in the first two pics. Not so much in the last two. -Looks like you followed through on rhinoplasty advice after reading r/nose -Last pic screams unenthusiastic hand job -"You shouldn’t be bored, please look in the mirror. You have a lot of work to do." -I'm not sure if permanent make up exists but if it does you should use it -It's giving bad yet attractive female stand-up comic -You look more British than Winston Churchill shaped biscuits dipped into tea. -Damn I didn’t know Ariana grande reverted -"Looks like she’ll slip a little poison in ya drink. Just a little at a time over, say, six months? Last thing you see while you’re violently throwing up blood will be the no-makeup face with exactly that expression." -Just ask your 65 year old sugar daddy from onlyfans to send u a dick pic. That should make you laugh. -You used to be ugly as shit. Still are but you used to be too. -With makeup 🫅without makeup 🧟 -Spirit Halloween store called and want their necklace back. -Feel bad for that plant just hanging back there honestly -Children of the corn… I meant porn -Just put the hash browns in the bag there... muffin tits -Plenty of room on your forehead for a massive line of coke... sit still -Can't roast what god already burned -"Last picture is fire -I mean like literally it's a garbage fire" -You look like Colin farell in drag trying to be the penguin -You be stalking people you never even met before. -"So dopey she forgot some desperate guy already bought her a drink -Before accepting another drink from some other horny guy." -A toothy blowjob and a loose butthole are not personality traits. -"You look like that cartoon girl from “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?""" -Lol... in sequential order from when you meet them in the bar to when you meet them again the next morning. -If you need attention make an OF account -"I'm pretty sure that ""Oh My Gawd"" is your catchphrase." -Look in the mirror -Was looking for your onlyfans but even you know no one will subscribe -Ur eyebrows r trash -When did mega mind become a ginger -I didn't know they made a human version of the Nissan Altima -"Shes got them summer teeth -Some are there ..some are not." -The only depth in your eyes is from self hatred and loneliness -Are the eyebrows put on with brown crayon? -"Why do people want to be roasted? Seems mental. Maybe this feed should be the ""Let's explore exactly why I'm mental"" feed. Wouldn't that be wild it the feed just revealed itself as that? That would be awesome." -"What do you call a turkey after Thanksgiving? - -Answer: Lucky" -your therapist hates you -Little miss thing wants attention -I’d eat toast off of your forehead -Not tots. No roast. -#4 😂 -What royal farms do you work at -U look like ur emo so ur jealous of the lights hanging from the ceiling -you're hot! never trust a girl in her red phasssssse lol. -Jessica Rabbit fucked Bo Plenty and you’re the result. -A face like a welders bench -Ur forehead can beat Mike Tyson and Mohammad Ali at the same time. - Where is this woman’s roger rabbit 😭 -48 years old and I still can’t figure out how make up does what it does to a woman. -I won't be able to write a joke as long as that forehead -The most expensive lady boy in Detroit -"I think you're a clone, now" -Which one of your personalities is disgracing us with these photos this time? -"That expression perfectly captures the moment when you realise sarcasm is your only personality trait. It’s like you’re auditioning for the lead role in a sitcom where the punchline is always your life choices. The sheer commitment to looking both unimpressed and completely unhinged at the same time is truly next level. - -Your lashes are so dramatic they should have their own Oscar nomination, probably for “Best Supporting Actor in a Midlife Crisis.” And that makeup? It’s working overtime to distract us from whatever existential crisis spawned that face. Bravo to you for turning chaos into an aesthetic." -"Great value Kat Dennings. It's just as good, we swear." -Your makeup setting records for powerlifting. -"No use in roasting you when you're already cooking. Fine as fuck but I digress - -You most likely dated a tall bearded man in high school because it made You feel safe and secure. Majority of your ""good friends"" hated you by proxy for your flirtatious nature. You were a token red head always looking for ways to express yourself but you still can't manage an individual thought." -...while you make me puke? 🤮 That's not a fair deal 🤔🤣😘 -"You look like the baddest bitch in the funeral home. I bet your casket is dope, did you go for the white on white?" -"Unable to show my junk here, just trust me you’d die laughing." -"https://youtu.be/q6jYrQJOS7w?si=BF3XudXBJV1XTflx - -I love your workout videos, Miss Vera" -Nose is bigger than Kamala Harris' electoral numbers. -Built like a transgender person who regretted their actions -"You kinda looked Asian in the first photo and you look kinda different in the other photos it means the makeup was heavy but I don’t think any of this was necessary, try adopting a more natural style and will work out greatly" -Snapple Moan -Chappell Roan but you took the horse part too seriously. -"Omg...are you...okay? I'm praying that you have a therapist, and im also praying for that therapist. I'm an atheist so....that should say something" -Your curlers match your teeth. -Chappell Groan. -A.I. draw me 5 pictures of the most toxic girlfriend in the world -TIL Costco sells cosmetics in 55 gallon drums. -Your face looks like a foot. -Don’t tell me what to do. -Personified red flag ((red hair joke)) -We got Jessica rabbit at home -Your the type to make toxicity your personality to slay off of -Trailer park mrs maisel -Look like max from two broke girls -Chappell Groan -You look like you put on Arianna grandes face after it was shrunk in the dryer -A true time traveler that face 32 on occasions 41 in the mornings -You look like the evil wife from the movie Problem Child... -Your hairline is running away from your face -You made me laugh with them rolos. 😂😂😂 -You look like you give unenthusiastic handjobs. -I would but I’d regret it -Your pictures are like a timeline of your descent into fentanyl use -Her hair line ends when the sun sets on the British empire -Cute nose -you look like your waiting for menopause -At least with that prompt you won’t get any dick picks -How did you get the pictures of your four other personalities? -You look like you failed an audition for 2 broke girls -Hold up a mirror -Take your nose ring out and blow snot bubbles... -A picture for every one of your crazy personalities... -All about the angle. -You absolutely look fuckable in the third photo but then in the fifth photo you look like the rest of us looking at the fifth photo. -You’re actually cute. I’d smash. -"Too bad there isn't a website called ""Only Fan""" -Tried looking into the mirror? Definitely gonna laugh after that -"The eyelashes that you’ve glued on, I believe the porn industry calls those cum guards" -I am sure ROger Rabbit needs an orgasm or playing patty cake or something. Why are you here? -u make my pee pee run and hide -You look like you cold message people on Facebook to have them join your MLM -"I am not very witty. So I am just going to put the first word that comes to mind when looking at you. - -Insufferable. - -You look insufferable. Like just being in your presence is probably draining." -I bet you’ve been smashed more times than a toddlers iPad -Beautiful -"Water is your weakness. What you look like without the make up and painted on brows. -*" -I can see why you aren’t smiling with your teeeth in any of these -If these are the best pictures of you then I’m sorry. -1 god damned pic is enough -fivehead -Oh you're that chick from r/glowups who thinks she got hotter instead of thrashier right? -you use so much makeup you look like a different person in each image -We can park a car on that forehead. -"Well! At least you’re not advertising OF’s…. So that great! -On another note you are a beautiful woman! Goofy! That’s just a horrible trait…. -Had to say something bad.. all I could do!" -Ik you opened the chamber of secrets -Had to turn my brightness down to look at your face -You look mean -Were you too poor to dye the rest of your hair red? -"Can’t roast such a fine woman… so I’ll just say something funny. - -I added all grandmas to a new speed dial app. I call it instagram." -Temu Lucille Ball -Are people transitioning into foreheads now? -"6.5 with makeup... take ya out back and give ya a 7.62 without makeup. Deserves the ""Old Yeller"" treatment, got that hiding under all the false advertising." -Lost her virginity to the 70 year old dude at the McDonald's drive thru. -"Cuts hair at great clips by day, pretends to be an artist by night." -Need more face for that make up? -comment -You look like a carrot that never got watered. -"This is like a bad bucket of KFC. Lots of bones, no breasts & a large beak." -You haven't needed to buy a new bra since middle school either. -Let me guess: life coach that hasn't accomplished anything? Or your entire lifestyle selling jewelry at a farmers market is subsidized by your husband? -It looks like your body hasn't changed since you were 12 either. -"You’re every chick from high school who messages the girls she used to bully about taking part in your MLM… - -“Hey there, mama! Ready to be a boss babe?”" -Those laugh lines could swallow cities whole. -"Mirror, mirror on the wall, tell me which teacher touched me in the hall" -You look lie you are 14 and 40 at the same time. -Your chest peaked in 2nd grade. -You are less than half as good looking as you think you are. -Those hair extensions are older than you are. -"You look like you got those highlights and nose ring to be edgy, but your vanilla milk toast ass just can’t pull it off for the life of you" -"“Hey Siri, show me images of an absolutely generic young white woman who rates a strict 5.0”" -I feel like you're the customer that makes the baristas fight about whose turn it is to serve you. -Sorry a cups. I got nothing. -Your style and tits haven't changed since then either I can see. -OMG!!! It's Sid the sloth. I loved you in Ice Age. -"Well, the good news is, you'll never have to tell a guy, ""My eyes are up here.""" -Looks like a casual meth user -You look good for 43. -You look like your gonna settle -All the curves of a cybertruck and somehow less style -You say those roasted peanuts been in your bra since middle school! -Half breed ginger doing her best to hide those freckles. -I bet you’re really good at keeping secrets with those tight lips. -You look like your OnlyFane is a GoFundme page -"Full on trailer leaning off its blocks, naty lite cans everywhere, and a rusted out ‘76 Camaro on blocks in the driveway, vibes. I bet you’re the Queen of the trailer park aren’t ya. Bless your heart." -I think OF accounts and XXX sub posters should not be allowed on /r/roastme -You look like a hick auditioning for jersey shore. -I reckon you’re one of those horse girls? They all kinda look the same. -What time does your top lip arrive? -You know roasted doesn't mean touched right? Cuz I can believe you haven't been touched since middle school -Funny enough your tits were the same size back then -"Pretty sure you got split roasted recently, just not the type of roasting you were looking for" -You look like you brag about only dating black guys. -Not to your face at least. Id bet that you were roasted at all those parties you didn’t get invited to. -Your whole Fall diet consists entirely of pumpkin spice. -"Wait wait, I'm sorry but ""roasted"" doesn't mean molested by a gym teacher" -Haven't changed since middle school either. Still got a little boy body. -You’re alone in all of your pictures because no one wants to be seen with you huh? -Unrealistically happy -Looks like your tits didn’t graduate middle school either -Reece Wither-poon -29 and still prolly get asked about a senior discount at grocery stores -When was middle school yesterday? -"The embodiment of ""basic plain white girl""." -That’s because you’re friggin gorgeous! As long as I squint…and look at something else. -Butter her face without the butter -Publicly and socially inept related to exaggerated self worth as evidenced by endless Hallmark television viewing. -You could have supported your breasts with just positive feedback -if eyebrow blindness was a person -I wouldn’t fuck you with a stolen dick and someone else pushing. -At least those insanely thin eyebrows match your frame. -It’s like if a sleeve of saltines became sentient. -This is the only SFW post you have -Mrs. Pilgrim -When you order Christina Applegate from Temu -You look like Angelica‘s doll from Rugrats turned lesbian -Looks like a dollar store step-ford wife in training. -I hope your personality has grown since middle school because by the looks of that rack you're gonna need it. -User name checks out -Yes you have -I don't think there's a big enough paper bag for you -Hawk Boo-a -Chintzy barista who never gives you a full cup of coffee. -"A little makeup, green hair dye with a purple jacket and you’re there." -I guess there is a correlation between low estrogen and low self-esteem. -Her parent bought her those teeth after she kicked the ice. Let's see those choppers in 2 years.. -Rogue lite -"The 90s called, they want their eyebrows back" -It took me like a minute to figure out if I know you or not. There's like a dozen girls that look like you per square mile. -I think you you forgot the word spit in this post. -Probably need to get your hearing checked then -Definitely lives for situationships and making grown men cry -"I don’t know what’s thinner, your lips or your eyebrows." -This is not 29F. Looks more like 1A -I think it's TOTALLY fine that you haven't moved out of your hometown. I hope you and your high-school boyfriend husband are doing well -So it’s been 6 months -Your chest hasn’t grown since then too -"You have the figure of a pine wood 2x4 from Home Depot- flat, pale, sprinkled with a touch of scoliosis." -you're the CSI:SVU extra nobody wanted -My type. Trust me.. thats no bueno -A few months ago I saw a girl with an Ouija board tattooed on her back. Today I saw a girl born with one on her front. -Tits haven't done anything since middle school either. -Haven't been roasted since middle school because you still haven't graduated from middle school? -No one ☝️ has cared enough about your pathetic existence to give you any thought 💭 let alone to roast you… -"There's a lot on your body that hasn't happened since middle school, either." -Haven’t been roasted since middle school…more like your tits haven’t grown since middle school. Gawd damn surf board has more curves than you -Is your torso ambidextrous? You can’t tell your chest from your back -Back ground is ratchet she should be holding a sign thst reads: will do anything for a $20 lol -Nice try sir. -I bet you always smell like you just came from outside. With that being said I would gladly stare at every contour of your tailbone until you were done crying. -Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. -Your bra is for moral support. -I know where my next pair of boots are coming from. That fake sun turning you into leather -You look like you can’t take a 5 minute shower without getting lightheaded -"You havent been roasted. - -Your onlyfans says otherwise." -"Is this a sex game you play with you husband, he lets a bunch of randos have thier way with you? Eat a sandwich" -When you smile there is a vague inkling that you are about to to yark up a goldfish that you swallowed live earlier on in the show. -You look like the girl who in high school let the entire football team gåиgßāñg her in the locker room after the homecoming game… -I doubt that -Cool to see that Trevor Wallace went through with the sex change.. -Haven been touched by a guy since middle school either -and it shows you look too comfy being yourself -"You look like every ""girl next door,"" on heroin! Keep a narcan close love." -"You try to hide your nose with the camera position, but you could smell that its of no use" -Yooo- that giphy of the towel and Dolph- I almost dropped my phone!!!! -"You are very pretty but you look exactly like my former GF, so you're probably super into showtunes" -Is this sub anything other than girls trying to gain insta or onlyfans followers? -Look like the type of person to turn moist critical to dry stable. -The phrase “Plan B” has left your lips more than an American commander in Vietnam -If nothing else your transition is going great. -"You have ""twice a year on our anniversary and your birthday, if you're lucky"" energy." -I see you have the same tits from middle school too! -Seems like the body hasn’t changed since middle school either.  -You look like the sister Blake Lively doesn’t like talking about -Your eyebrows look as if a cartoonist drew them on then he was like fuck it let's do the lips too -That's the distinct lips-tight-together smile of a girl who will let you give her a facial but doesn't like cum in her mouth. -"Well, at least you dont have to buy bras. So thats nice at least" -"Has every chance to date a dude who treats her right, but dates the bad boy" -You look like my dog dick🤣🤣 -Spelling errors on top of a backwards paper… they forgot to give you brain cells when they were handing them out huh?😭😭😂 -I wouldn’t fuck that with a vaccinated crowbar -I think your hot! No need to roast! -You look like the type of girl that wasn’t attractive in high school and carried that weight until you were 25 and finally got into shape however now you realize that you were never in shape when you were young and now at the burbled age of 29 you desperately want people to validate that you’re good look but you know that you’re old so you don’t want to be super obvious about it so you go to a roast me section expecting people to not have anything bad to say but trust me we have nothing good to say either. -I feel like I'd actually have a chance at dating this one -Hawk Tuah five years and three stints in rehab later -Your chest is still in middle school -Definitely got a bush -Is middle school when your chest stopped growing? -Why your lips thinner than your eyebrows 👀 -A wooden plank has more curves than you. -"Your future kid: ""how can you breast feed me mom, you got no tits!!""" -"OK, you win. No way to roast the most fabulous creature to ever exist. 👏" -Looks like a good cum dump for me. -You should be on the new smile movie -Got to love the fishing for compliments people do on here -Thousand percent she still calls her dad daddy -10 out of 10 would split roast you! -Bet you were pretty back then -Sunken Chesticles -Probably because no one's noticed you since middle school -I can almost smell the divorce and child support lawsuits -The only thing flatter than your chest is your personality -Roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back? -Maybe not roasted but definitely basted by several dudes every weekend since. -did you drop out on 9th grade? -No matter the angle you still win by a nose -The fact you are still keeping track of things from middle school is a roast in itself. -I'd tell you a joke that'd knock your tits off but it looks like you already heard that one. -Totally a dike! -This roast was sooo fun thank you for playing! also couldnt reply after getting banned so i got behind and now there are too many comments to respond to -"Damn you must never go out then, to look like that and not being roasted since middle school" -"I wasn’t going to, but then I saw picture five and remembered I’d seen you before, auditioning to replace Hugh Jackman in the next wolverine film. I bet you never need to wear long sleeves in the winter." -comment -Lauryn Downhill -You look like three different guys -"Never received a meaningful compliment, either." -You look like the ghost of Eazy-E in drag. -You've never received a meaningful insult? Pretty sure that's because you just didn't understand them. -Welcome to good burger home of the good burger can I take your order ? -Tracy Crapman -I loved you in that Burger King meltdown video -"Why is your sister in the 2nd pic, bro?" -Why did you post three different people? -"Female, where?" -Been ridden more times than a 2nd hand motorbike -I can smell the cocobutter. -Temu Lauren Hill -"I was confused on the first pic, I thought you were a man" -"*paycheck, you meant to say you’ve never received a meaningful paycheck " -Dunno how your face can be so greasy and your hands be so ashy all at the same time. I can hear the smoke detector chirping through these pictures. -Never? Really? I’ll mail you a mirror. -You look like the effeminate gay black guy that does drag and the family is disappointed when you are around. -I thought she had 2 back eyes 👀 oh wait a minute! -Macy Neigh 🐴 -What is there to insult? You are a very handsome young man -Foxy Brown without the Foxy. -"How could you when you are, in fact, so meaningless?" -or a meaningful hairstyle -No one ever cared enough -"You have, you’re just not intelligent enough to understand - -Edit typo" -Why did you lead off with a random picture of a man? -"Never!? Are you perhaps deaf? Maybe, illiterate?" -Her mom used to leave her outside supermarkets and stick her to the window with those lips 💋 -A big part of this is your dad wasn't around to insult you or pay child support 🤷‍♂️ -Ngl I thought you were a dude from the first picture -the 1970s called they wanted their afro wig back. -The Misgendercation of Lauryn ~~Bill~~ -I didn't know Dababy and mister potato head had a baby. -India Eerie -You look more masculine when you try to look feminine. -Second pic is legit Jordan Peele in a wig and makeup -Never received meaningful attention from your family either -You have the perfect face for nothing. -"Your hair (first picture) looks like your mamma did it up nice when you were nine, and you left it that way since." -"You’re not a Queen, more like smelly sweat sheen" -You're female? -Un-cool Runnings -"You're like a Dark Cloud, when you disappear it's a beautiful day" -Erykah Badon’t -"You look like you’re going to get in a reddit argument with me and tell me to check my white privilege, and I’m not even fucking white." -Not a roast but you look Ugandan. Am I close? -Chief Queef -Lips like life rafts. -"I would've guess F to M trans by pic #1. So there's your ""meaningful insult""." -Are you scared of dick or what? -These are 3 totally different people🤣 -Dude! -I would say something but you look like a person that saying something to wouldn’t go down well with. Maybe that? -I bet you never received a meaningful compliment either -"First picture says male -Second says female" -I thought you were travis Scott in the first pic -Nobody cares enough to insult you. -The Misgendercation of Lauryn ~~Bill~~ -Looks like a dude -Least you have a job 😜 -"Did dad punch your eyes in, or did you get them from him." -Looks like you showed up to your work release program alright. -How did you go from deadbeat dad in the first pic to single mom of 5 in the last? -"Noxeema Jackson, too Wong foo" -Your female? Your lucky the second photo backed you up or I was about to ask why a middle school boy was here -You’re pretty handsome dude -That sucks young man. -Dollar store Laurin Hill -If the color purple was a person -"Ye, formally known as Yo" -BuckSheet -Sideshow Bob and Buckwheat....oh tay!! -Lots of pearl necklaces in your line of work I assume. -Your whole life is one big meaningful insult to the human species -You look like you have a slow car and a ticket to anywhere -How many stages of the evolution process did you miss? -Definitely thought you were a man in the first pic -Whoopsie Goodburger -Do you like fast cars? -Fish. -Am I supposed to roast 3 different people? OK...if Fugees were ordered from Temu -The only way you’ve never received a meaningful insult is if you’re a recluse. -Shakeisha no!! -Maybe to your face… -"If you've never received a meaningful insult, it just means that nobody gives you a second look for any reason." -Tracy Macy Hill -Tracy Chapman after getting hit by a fast car -PYT...Pretty Yuck Thing -"Two decades, still no jawline." -Looks like a dude -For real i thought she was male until I saw the F -Soul ~~~Train~~~ ~~~Pain~~~ Stain -You always look high asf -Temu Tracy Chapman. -You look like a 35 year old guy -The 2nd pic so good cause it looks like not you -The photos look like 3 different people lol. You wouldn't happen to have matching multiple personalities would ya? -"Michonne from TWD if she worked at the transit authority, and her party weekend pics were posted." -Caster Semenya really let herself go -When you make drugs your entire personality -"The lesbian homie,trying to be a dyke one day,the next day trying to get dick." -"Why isn’t this NSFW, I can see your dick in the first picture." -Beautiful. Too harsh? -How do you get your hair to be so voluminous? Do you have extensions in? -I hate this subreddit. -"YOU SHOULD DO MISHONE WALKING DEAD COSPLAY!!! SWORDS AND EVERYTHING, just had to say this!! Would be epic." -Do you drive a fast car -You would have needed a hell of a discount to find a home in 1860 -These people just can't wait to be racist. -You look like a refugee -That's hard to believe working at TSA. -"I’ve got a fast car, do you have a plan to get us out of here?" -Weren’t you in that movie 8 Mile? -What!? This is Love Jones from YouTube. (Not a roast.) -I tend to insult only while I’m screwing. -You’d actually be prettier with facial scarification. -nigga that ain’t Jenn cater that’s been cater -HOLY SHIT. ITS JULIET -Macy Whey -Bet you don't use a washcloth. -It’s like Lauren Hill went to Whoopi’s hairdresser. -You obviously haven’t crawled out from under your rock before…. -Michael from Star trek Discovery -Stop nuzzling the poison ivy. -They really let you do shit like this in prison? -This probably happened when Ice Cube was touring through here 20 years ago. -That’s because you don’t look worth the effort. -When did Jackie Brown get a makeover? -First pic I thought you were a guy tbh. -"I saw your first picture and thought ""oh another wannabe rapper guy"" Then the other pictures I was ""oh" -The girl from jimmy neutron has truly blossomed -Mop on head needs cleaning. -Get back to work. There's blood diamonds that need mined. -That’s because everyone loves Kenan! -First pic had me double checking the F in the title -Second photo looks like the fitting room at Party City. -Tracy chapman without the sex appeal.... -"21F, I call bull there's no way you're not a dude" -So this is Christmas? -"It'll be okay, fella" -"You look like the mental prison lesbian off the orange is the new black. - -Are you a mental prison lesbian?" -Well obviously you’re not worth a meaningful roast. -You look great! At what age did you transition? -The Misgendercation of Lauryn ~~Bill~~ -Tracy Chapman without all the hair…. Or a WNBA team favorite “shower attendant”….. -Thought you were a dude based on the first pic -Probably never received a meaningful compliment either -You're so unimportant and irrelevant that people don't even want to put an effort in insultung you. -You weren't worth the effort to make one. Still aren't. -Highly doubt it. -"look -Like a melted chocolate bar" -That's because you're too chronically online to have gotten any meaning whatsoever from any human interaction -"It’s a dude, it’s a drag queen, it’s a girl? No this is just gay" -Lauryn should take pills . You look like you get friendzoned by lesbians . I bet you smell like the back of nick acados fat knee or under Ethan clines tit. You’re cute but you’re all forehead damn . You got a lot on your mind . -Or a meaningful hairdresser -Lookin like Mary J Blige from Wish. Mary J Blight. -Whoopsie Goldberg 😂 -"Scrolling through Reddit, my daughter say the first pic and said “That’s a cute boy”." -You got a fast car to get away from this roast? -"I cant tell if you’re a hot dude or a pretty woman - -Maybe both" -"Welcome to Goodburger, home of the good burger, can I take your order?" -"You get deadnamed all the time not because your trans, but when dudes call you by your old pole dancing name." -Part of the new Jackson 5 -YNW Smelly -That’s a good one -"Why does slide #2 look like Jordan Peele dressing in drag, as a very butch mixture of slide #1 and #3?? Keeping in mind that it is VERY difficult to get more butch, than slides #1 and #3..." -You mean You've never been insulted in the style of Merriam-Webster?; you don't what you're missing then it's quite a journey. -You look like IShowSpeed if he worked at a Macy's makeup counter. -Jay XYX -"Are you a man, a woman or a plant? We are all confused..." -So when did you start your transition? -You are the meaningful insult. -It's the finalist from rue palla drag queen show -"Shit, you're making white people look cool" -You look like Kia from Freddy vs Jason fresh out of rehab -I'm not allowed to say what I want but it won't do it itself. It would be harder to find something nice to say about you. Dawn dishsoap wants to sponsor you. I like onions I don't want to smell them. -You look like if Mr.Mosbey had a kid with the cleaning lady at the hotel and never let you leave the basement -I'd bet people meant every insult they sent your way. -Just because you don't understand an insult doesn't make in meaningless... -You look like you haven't received much of anything tbh -You look like the mutant domino without the luck factor. -No sense abusing the genetically crippled. -Man of many faces -big lips looking ahhh -You look like whoopi Goldberg if she had eyebrows -Why did you spit in Old Mister Johnson's water? -No one kicks a dead dog -You look like an unhappy toilet brush -That's because you crossed the line from disgust to pity -Lauryn ILL -About as female as Michelle O. -"The meaningful insult isn't that many people have said you look like a man, it's that *many people have said you look like a man.*" -But the news has been telling me that you are wildly insulted and humiliated on a daily basis. Discriminated against and the victim of all sorts of atrocious acts committed against you? You can't possibly be serious? 🤣😂😂😂 OMG this country is such a fucking joke. -Not even Rick wanted to stay with you! -Lauryn Downhill -Bro….yes you have…and i loved you in fatburger -">never received a meaningful insult - -That's because nobody ever noticed your basic ahh" -It took till the third photo before I thought you were a girl. -👑 -Does your sister know you're wearing her wig? -"You gotta have some serious low-self esteem if you’re seeking “meaningful insults.” -Next you’ll be asking us to piss on you" -You never received a meaningful insult because everyone was too scared to hurt your feelings -Well that would indicate you did something meaningful to begin with. -You look like under the bed -You've ever had a meaningful compliment* -Had more pricks than a 4th hand dartboard -"2 photo, are u a dude" -"Not a roast, I honestly thought u r a guy" -What do you expect with a meaningless face like that? -Lauryn Hell-No -Please keep the afro you will not look good without it -Noprah Winfrey -Happy Star Trek day! You look like a Temu version of Michelle Bruman. -I don't believe that. I think you've received so many you've become desensitised -Dude I loved you in Good Burger. -"You’ll have to learn how to read first before you can receive anything, let alone an insult" -You look like your dad went to get a pack of cigarettes and never came back -Maybe you have to be a meaningful person in order to get a meaningful insult. -Your race would have to matter for the insult to be meaningful. -I think that’s because nobody has ever felt the need to waste their time with the obvious -I wish Cotton was a monkey. -Your hair is gorgeous not roasting you lol -Lauryn Hill and Michonne from TWD had a baby -"Can't decide if you should be on stage with Wyclef, or cursing everybody like ""Everything you done to me, already been done to you.""" -I've never seen 3 pictures of the same person that all look like different people who are all so ugly. I don't know why you're here. You roast yourself everyday. -"It’s easy to see why insults are meaningless to you, it’s just like life itself." -that’s hard to believe with that face. -"Honestly, i thought you were a man" -People don't insult people who are meaningless -You have the face for a hate crime. -You never received an insult because they thought you would put them as one of your reason why -Inspiration for Vanillaholics everywhere. -That's because people pity you too much. -Sure you have. Just look at the hair someone gave you in your second photo. -Are Rema's transbrother? -"It's not nice calling your owner ""your boyfriend""..." -She was tea bagged by Earl Grey -"C'mon, dude. Don't be like that!" -You put the rash in rasta -">never received a meaningful insult - -So what you’re saying is, you have really poor hearing too?" -Unworthy of even an isult. Dont thank me. -"Appreciate the clarification by including the “f” in your description, I wasn’t too sure. Kinda like a m/f hybrid Lauren Hill" -"Sorry, meaningful insults are for meaningful people!" -You never received a meaningful insult because your life has no meaning. -That's a man baby -You were great in menace 2 society as O-Dog -I am not sure you understand what 21F is supposed to mean. -Somehow I doubt that -She? -"Ain’t nooo way you are 21, you look 41 😳" -The second phot really makes you look like a drag queen -Your face looks like every Lilo & Stitch character. -Macy Cray -You ain't a female -A young Oprah in The Color Purple -You look like Tracy Chapman and Whoopi Goldbergs love child -You are pretty. -I'm pretty sure birth was the most meaningful insult to the world. -I'll bet you have to tie a pork chop around your neck to get puppies to play with you. -Not your first pearl necklace. -1st pic had me thinking kids bop lil durk😂😂 -Not even like.....black cunt! I'm flabbergasted lol -No way..you are gorgeous 😍 -F? -Lauryn Mound -"Pic one: “Ok it’s a dude” -Pic two: “Oh he likes to cross dress” -Pic three: “Oh wait nvm OP is a woman”" -Madueke fell off -"HIV - that is not how you spell alphabet... -Did I make make to top 5?" -That third pic I was looking for ric grimes next to ya -You sure about that? Because that face seems to be a pretty solid shot -Not worth the hassle to throw an insult your way -It's been a while since it was acceptable to insult someone who is transitioning. -Lol -Man -He’s got a 12 inch hog leg tucked and taped -Is the first Pic your granny? -How nice of you to include pictures of ypur 2 brothers along with yourself -How many horses had to die for your wig -You look like the milkshake kelis is talking about -"Your life matters. Your hair, maybe not so much." -Lauryn Ill -I thought you were a guy because of first pic. -"""Theres no such things chick's with dicks, just guys with tits""" -Coop from All American -I thought the first pic was Travis Hunter -I recognize you from The Color Purple. -Probly never received a meaningful compliment either ... -Black Life Mattered Little -All of these pictures are different people -You look how leather shoes taste -I love your song Fast Cars. -You’re definitely not Shug Avery. -I bet your father has at least one whenever he shows up. -"Welcome to good burger, home of the good burger. Can I take your order?" -That is truly a job advertisement photo! Well played. Where can I send my resume? -Rihna-nana -Jawanna Mann? -"Well, gotta have more than a brain stem for things to be meaningful" -You have cultivated the look of 21M appliance repairman. -Prove that you're not in drag -I'm sure you haven't. You're a handsome man for sure. -You look like a walking complaint. -"I’ll quote Don Rickles: “look at you, you hockey puck”" -Your face looks like a Nestle's Crunch bar. -You wont post this on instagram 😂😂 -You look like a Temu Lauryn Hill. -You made 8 different cameos in “12 Years a Slave.” -One more accessory... you just need to add one more accessory and it'll be fine... is what you say to yourself in the mirror every day -"You mean 'never comprehended a meaningful insult'. - -Sorry, that means YOU'RE STUPID." -How’s it cummin along so far? With the hormone therapy? Is it still considered a micro peenus -"People want a black chick, then they want a hot black chick. You’ll do for now." -Sometimes I like to shave my mustache even if I think it’s not there -If a blunt was a person -Are those the pictures of all of your pronouns? -Black -You look like someone who would make a post like that on a forum like this. -"Austin Powers voice ..... THATS A MAN, BABY!!!!" -someone grew up wanting to be Michonne from the walking dead. -comment -I bet your vhs collection has the name of each victim handwritten on a little white label -You don't have to wear camo to go unseen -You’re not just a movie collector; you’ve mastered the art of being the most forgettable character in your own life story. -“My names buck and I like to fuck” -Peanut butter is the first item on your grocery list -You have nice child bearing hips. -buddy you didn’t need to tell us single + never married in the title. we could guess based on the pictures pal -Well at least the bad genetics end with you -This guy found a way to be a deadbeat dad without even having kids. -You look like you use duck calls on women. -Fuck you. You look like you’re doing better than me. -"Just so you know, your movie collection will all go in big boxes and sold for $1 a box when your dead and you wonder why your single🙄" -You look like you use a sleeping bag for a comforter -say virgin without saying virgin -You smile like the cringe girl.. -"You’re either in a moderately good home you own, or a shithole apartment. Hard to tell, honestly." -This is the male version of a “cat lady” -"""Single, never married and no children."" The most obvious statement ever written." -I bet you enjoy cotton candy vape juice -"How can I possibly roast a disembodied head and forearms, Mr Fifty-Percent-Cena?" -i know you want to buy a van……don’t. -Looks like his movie collection comes from cameras he puts in toilet bowls. -Your neck beard has a neck beard -"You look like the type of guy to use *""personal domicile""* and *""my constitutional right""* when Animal Welfare asks to search your property." -"Tbh... ur life dont sound bad... just go to the gym, eat fruit n salads for a whole year m youll feel better gang" -These pictures look like they’d show up on EWU or the first 48. -How’s your mom’s house? -"No children, but a photo roll full of kids." -Dog treats for dinner -Masturbates Motel -"I find nothing to roast here bro. - -I've been married three times and the third wife I'm still married to yet I live single and we have absolutely no contact. - -Living single as a man these days is the best! - -In these times it is not wise to be married because Satan will use that marriage against you and break it up." -Is this a gender swap of the cat lady? Dog guy? Dog sir? Dog mister? -🎶Chin bones connected to the…breastplate?🎶 -I’ll bet you “smoke a lot of meat” and don’t even own a smoker. -dog dad. As in you fucked a dog and raised it’s puppies? tracks. -Seriously man.... thank you for never having children. Keep up the good work! -Lars and the real real girl 2: the fleshlight -You look like a guy that still thinks WWE is real. -"Never married, never touched, and each vhs tape is home-made surveillance of a family you stalked. I have a feeling that look in picture 2 is one a lot of people have seen while everything goes blurry from the ghb." -4 dogs live in that house! -I'm sure that looking like an active shooter has nothing to do with why you're currently single. -Those chins and guts say that collecting movies is just a front for a your snack bar. -The hat isn’t gonna hide your receding hairline. And we all know it. -Bet Ron Jeremy starred in most of those VHS tapes -"You claim to collect videos, but you also seem to collect chins. " -howthe fuck you managed to be the most NPC looking NPC and yet still manage to get a main character story -"Single introvert with a Bates Motel poster? This is too easy, pass!" -"You have definitely fucked at least one of your dogs screaming out ""That was pawtastic"" when you come" -"In Oregon, what you’re doing to your dogs is illegal." -"""He's got dead eyes chief, black eyes, like a dolls eye. When he comes at you with that Amazon delivery, he doesn't seem to be living. But then he makes banal small talk with ya... And those eyes roll over white....""" -"I was going to say that's not meant to be a casual shirt, but any Psycho fan is ok." -Real life Bates Motel -You're living the dream mate. -O the horror's those dogs have seen. -"The term ""dog dad"" makes my skin crawl. It's definitely not the flex u think it is." -"I'd tell you to get lost but given that you're wearing camo I'd say someone already has lol. - -Jokes aside, it's the best way to live!! -Give those dogs a cuddle from me but don't tell them I'm a stranger from the interweb." -If the movie failure to launch was based in the UP -You look like every third picture on the FBI's Jan6th wanted gallery. -You do not need a roast. You need an intervention and a hooker -"Bro you can’t represent dude who wear camo everywhere and guys who are “dog dads” - -Both have very real and serious implications btw" -"Has every VHS of ""Faces of death"" in his collection." -"Damn some of these messages are fucked. - -Just like your palms." -Looks like you were taking a shit in picture number three. Great look. -'Crazy Dog Dude' should be a thing. -"I can always come to my favorite sub Reddit when I’m having a bad day, never fails to make me lmao and brighten my day." -Keep it that way -"Damn, . . . U rock dude. - -Woops. Dick." -3 dogs and single ? You probably never leave your county let alone your town. -"Problem is that there are many middle aged men who saw this post and said ""Dude has it pretty fuckin good.""" -"I don’t want to roast you, man. You look like someone I could enjoy a beer/toke with and play some PlayStation. Hangout with the dogs in the yard and grill up some steaks." -This dude goes thru so much peanut butter with them dogs... -"Nah, u cute" -All those things sound awesome. The fact you think they are something to roast you about means you're stupid as shit though. -"My guess is you’re a high paid assassin. Or in -witness protection. - -No one could seriously buy that shirt, grow that beard, and pay for that house. Your disguise is safe with us and we will never rat you out." -Nothing dries up a vagina like a middle aged man who refers to himself as a “dog dad”  -"No man, you are living the dream" -Limper Bizkit. -I bet you have several half used jars of peanut butter laying around the house. And they all have the same size hole poked in each one. -"His Webcam name is ""puppies and peanut butter""" -Somethinng something medula oblongata -"Nothing really wrong with you , I think new clothes , and get some colour , and some more confidence behind your smile . find a fellow videophile like yourself ... An the rest writes itself ." -"Is your dreamjob working at the last Blockbuster store, where you can stare ghoulishly out the showcase?" -"My dude, we didn't need a wall sized ""Bates Motel"" poster to know you have mommy issues. - -( In all seriousness tho keep it up, physical media will never die!)" -You just know this guy’s house smells like anus. -Of course Camo-boy has a pit mix. -"Depends on the type of dog you own, as that indicates the type of man you are. Lab, spaniel, healer? Yes. Pit bull? Nah, I'm out." -Roast? Nah man - CONGRATULATIONS! I know you’re happy… at least stress free! -Roast you? You're living the f****** life! -I hear banjos… -Bro read your self written headline… you just roasted yourself…. Everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to it. Dog dad??? wtf is thaaaaaat? -Can you help me lift this chair into my van? -Roast yourself -"It's 2024, it's OK to be a power bottom." -... you done already said it all bud.. -Anyone that calls themselves a dog or cat mom/dad is doomed to loneliness -Dog dad -Please tell me you don't live with your mother. -"I have a 6 pack back at the house, you should come" -"Anything give me more cringe feeling than reading ""dog dad""" -I don't see dogs. That makes you a liar. For shame. -I get the feeling you need to be reminded to wash your sheets. -Thank you for not reproducing and your obvious commitment to absolute celibacy insuring it for certain. -Nice try floating head and arms… I’ll figure out your tricks -"You look like Seth Rogan's stunt double, but not the one for close-up shots." -"You look like you never married, no children, introvert, movie collector (yes even VHS tapes), dog dad to 3 dogs." -Oh look everybody. This guy's bragging about how he's found the secret to pure freedom and is living his best life. -Not sure what there is to roast here. Dude has got it made. -Is this picture from your profile on farmersonly.com ? -"You got that whole ""I almost joined the military back in 2005"" kinda vibe." -Very fancy staircase for a double wide. -"Dog dad. -Enough said......" -If Dax shepherd never made it and pounded Taco Bell -"Pic 3 looks like you just dropped a load in your pants. It's squishy, and it STINKS!" -Sounds like a fucking perfect existence. -"You live in a trailer, don't you? I'll bet you didn't even take the wheels off." -"I see why you’re not married, you have a movie poster from an “A&E original” TV movie, OMG!" -I feel bad -Only a matter of time before he turns to the dogs for solace and comfort… -Let the dogs go you’ve made them suffer enough -This is one of those pictures that don't need to come with a bio. Would've been much more funny to guess out all that info 🤣. -You look like a prime example why you shouldn’t shag your sister -"I don't see anything wrong with these pictures at all. - -It's just a 49 year old man with his beer belly." -Your Head is shaped like a dill pickle -You look like the kind of guy who puts on camo just to hide from social interaction. -He jacks off while watching re-runs of his arrest on To Catch a Predator. -The 3rd picture looks like you were too scared to take the pic -"Of course, you don’t have kids if all you do is receive anal." -This guy does his grocery shopping with a dollar general gift card. -I see why you was never married. -"When the time comes for me to tell my daughter about how to identify and handle dangerous men, I'm showing you her picture, giving her a gun, and telling her to aim for the nose." -"its not your choice that you have never been married, is it?" -"So It's not a virgin, so that checks out. All you had to do was walk across the hall during your childhood." -"How is your lonely single life going. Wait, you ain't single you got a boyfriend and two slide chick's. No one uses vsp tapes anymore. Grow up. Women don't want to be with men who use vsp tapes." -"We didn’t need the caption, trust me…" -You look like you sleep with a Gregg Turkington body pillow in a twin bed next to your twin bed -Just stay away from kids and schools and you should be ok -"His father is the first and only man that's made him cum when he told his wife he was taking his son on a ""hunting trip""" -In a few years people are going to be making longform Youtube essays about shit you done did. -There is no-one in the first picture -"If pictures had a scent, these would smell like sadness and BO." -3rd pic looks like you smelled yourself -"Oh look, it’s a cat lady with testosterone" -You still use same phone from 2009 to take selfies -U look like the rat man from Harry Potter -"You could have omitted the “single, never married” part, it’s pretty obvious" -"Please buy better camo, we can still see you" -Are your brother cousins any more… desirable? -"Ima show my buddy here at work this pic, and be like this is going to be you if you stay a virgin" -"You look like a guy who's tinder pic is you holding a 2lb fish. Your probably single because every girl who goes on a date with you walks off after 2 hours of you blabbering about 1990s WWF. Let me guess, your home is a single wide trailer in the middle of nowhere. Your family tree doesn't fork. And you've got a big collection of crappy guns you keep laying around." -At least your mom lets you sleep in the basement still -"You didn't have to tell us that you were single, never married, no kids. It's pretty much implied in your pictures." -"Damn, Ed Sherran has REALLY fallen off in the past few years hasn't he? (Referencing the 3rd pic)" -"""Welcome back, EWU-Crew""" -You look like you would get caught by one of those YouTube channels where they hunt predators. Seriously. -The first man to do doggy style on an actual dog 🐶 -"Yeah, we know" -Is Bates Motel why you’re still single? -who's the guy in your second picture with only one chin? -"Is ""Movie Collector"" the new term for ""Porn Addict""?" -Just because you can’t marry your sister doesn’t mean you’re single -Bro looks like he’s been introduced to Chris Hansen before -You look like you enjoy telling women about how you should control their reproductive rights. -That little girl from the meme had a sex change and grew up. Good for him. -why am i actually attracted to him LMAOOOO -Why? You're living the dream. -Loser -Normally it really annoys me when someone says they're a dog dad because unless you had sex with a dog and bred with it then you aren't but in your case I imagine you totally have. -Why didn’t you also put that you have a girl locked up in your basement in a well in your bio? Do you yell “put the lotion in the basket” -Bedroom and living room all rolled into one with no air conditioning and definite dog smell. How is this man still single?! -She puts the lotion in the basket -Did one of your dogs take the first picture lonely guy? -If I was one of your dog even I would leave you. -You're a real life NPC. We don't have time for you. -A lot of the bio will never change -You collected 40 Year Old Virgin when you were born. -Needs more dog pics. -Now I know who buys the camo-amo 3XL shirts at the bottom of the Dollar General discount bin. -Do you uh……have a large collection of peanut butter? -Women are probably intimidated by your spit cup collection. -there’s a 100% chance you dip copenhagen with a splash of Jack Daniels in it while your screaming roll tide while fucking your disabled sister -Jesus christ imagine the calluses on this dude’s hands :| -Larry the Fable Guy. -"you forgot to put child-fiddler on your list of characteristics, buddy" -I’m sure there’s a nice young lady in the Philippines 🇵🇭 that’d love u -Can’t wait for the next To Catch a Predator episode! -"You look like if ""stained navy blue sheets and a very flat pillow"" were a person." -Did you buy your entire wardrobe at Fleet Farm? -"He man, keep trying eventually one of your cousins eventually will fuck you." -Why do you look so scared in your pictures? -You look like a walking 404 error not found. -Are those VHS tapes you collect home recordings of the victims in your basement by any chance? -"The only thing I can roast is that you’re definitely too fucking happy in life. - -Go find some suck and embrace it..🤣" -"Dressed for Summer, and for the hope a hunt may break out." -Your tombstone will read the exact same -"We can’t even come close to cause any damage more then what you already caused to yourself. -The title is a roast as of itself." -Nice guy. -"No need to wear the camo man, the ladies were never looking for you to begin with." -Took you 17 words to get the same point across that your face communicates instantly; forever virgin -nambla ceo -"What, did you get kicked off duck dynasty so you went to reddit?" -Whattt the dude with a giant bates motel poster in his room is single wooow I’m so shocked 🤣 -I can smell his room -Your dog matches your shirt. -"The deer don't even bother moving, they know you are a horrible shot." -"I wish that camo worked better. I see you, unfortunately." -It puts the lotion on its skin. -Dog dad to three dogs. So how many bitches did you have to fuck to make that happen? -"Vhs tapes lose quality as they age. They lose clarity and looking at them becomes harder and harder as they degrade in quality. And eventually the audio quality is so bad that can't even listen to them anymore. - - -Edit: I said VHS tapes, when I meant to say THIS guy☝️ - - -Ducking autocorrect." -When did carhartt get a homeless clothing line -You look like you've definitely tried something in a small town -4 dogs in a trailer… every woman’s dream 🥴 -"You look like you ate Jeffrey Dahmer and stole his movie collection. - -You look like a rapper from the 800th mile . - -You look like if Forest Gump let himself go. - -You look like you might have actually had sex with a dog, and be a literal dog dad. - -Your face says work easy, play easy. - -Idk 😅 don't mean any of these" -Awww 99 year old virgin! I love this movie! -"That's a weird way to describe someone who has a half dozen child skeletons buried ""out yonder""" -"Don't need to, the jokes write themselves" -You smile like the meme -Why didn't you specify the fact they're porno movies? -Put a shirt on -You look like a random trucker npc in any game set in the woods -I know he gets hard as fuck -With your face there is no way one of your dogs isnt a shit bull. -What can we say that you haven't already cried about while you sit alone in your home? -"After the smashing success of 'average guy' , we bring you 'below average guy'." -Do you collect any other dead formats of entertainment? Laser disc? Slides? -"Life has roasted you enough, Bert Kreischer" -Enter Sandman is 100% the only song you workout to. -You have a collection of tapes in your attic that would send you straight to the basement of a prison. This roast was sponsored by Subway. Eat fresh! -Definitely at least 3 terabytes -There’s no telling how many missing people are under this guys house -Is this where Bobby Hills story ends up? King of the Hill where are they now -head ass -You don’t need the camo to make you invisible. You’re already invisible. I.e. you don’t matter. -"an unattractive movie buff who wears camo and collects bad movie posters - single, never married?!" -I can smell you from here. -You look like the kind of person that calls himself a dog dad. -Loser -At least you have one fan in your life. -Technically porn movies are still movies but I wouldn't be proud of such collection -"Wears hats in every pic to hide the shaved head, likes camo shirts to disguise the massive confederate flag tattoo on his chest. Swipes right on black girls only and wonders why he’s still single." -Single? I think you misspelled it... I-N-C-E-L looks to be correct. -You actually have a bates motel poster in your room? Wtf lol -You almost look like a tough biker guy until you look like a squirmish man child -"You say single, I say double (chin)" -"“Single, married, no children” didn’t know you had any other options, my guy" -Porn the largest genre in your movie collection? -It's the women who ought to be wearing camo so they can hide when you approach -"""I live in my moms basement starter pack""" -Your dog is hoping you marry it. Since you 2 are having sex on a consistent basis. -"I'm shocked the Bates Motel tv show poster isn't a panty dropper for ya. Also, you look like the word ""bland"" came to life in corporeal form." -"Why look! It's the star of ""A Serbian Film""" -The beginning of every Florida man news story… -At least you won’t die alone a virgin. Right??… -Well when most people say never married I just think they are smart. When you say it I think smart as well. Not because marriage is a joke but because you’ll end up on the sex offenders registry if you ask the type of person you’re into. -Your Facebook sent history is a wall of “hey :)” and no reply -"I look you people and sometimes don’t feel bad at all. You do realize you do it to yourself, especially with titles like “dog dad.” - -Get up. Go to the gym. Learn to dress properly. Get braces. Get crest white drips. Get a haircut. Brush your teeth. Put on some cologne. And act semi normal, and I’ll guarantee you’ll get a decently attractive girl who does the same" -Yubin Wackinov -If u love VHS tapes check out the Victorville Film Archive. -I think your headline covered all the bases my friend. -40 yr old virgin. Bro gets no bytches -My god. I have nothing to work with. Not even the VHS collection. -You must go through A LOT of peanut butter -"Your dogs prolly already roast u enough - -(or they should because y’all already color coordinate with the camo and they prolly did not co-sign that 😝)" -You look like you manufacture meth in the middle of the woods with a guy named Kennedy. -comment -"""Stay at home mom"", that's a way to spin the ankle tracker from your meth arrest." -Puts Bluey on in the livingroom for the kids and sucks cocks for dab carts in her bedroom -Gets hit on by her NA sponsor and thinks she’s still got it -I bet your forearms look like you got shot with birdshot. -You look like a scratch-and-sniff sticker for “armpit” -“My dealer never charges me” -"What amazes me is that you look everyday in the mirror and think, yes these piercings look good; I think I’ll keep them" -You look like you do Buber which is like Uber except guys play with your titties in your car for 15 minutes. -"So, which of the twelve steps are you working now?" -I was gonna try to come up with a good roast but you're the most depressed looking 420 user I've ever seen. I'll keep my comments to myself. -“Stay At Home Mom” sounds better than lost the day shift stripper gig at a run down club I suppose. -Oh damn! Big Bird is having a rough time -420= meth? Cause you didn't have to put that in your post we can all tell. -"When nobody wants to touch you anymore, you can only be feeling yourself" -Im betting her kids live with her mom.. i mean come on.. nice meth tattoos.. you seem like someone who ass drags like a dog when you dont get your way.. -You're a dream come true to any man who wants to get back at his overbearing mother -Her kids have A.D.D. All Different Dads -Willing to bet at least one of those kids is devastated you didn't have a miscarriage. -You look like you work at Dave & Busted -"Unemployed pot smoker, got it" -You're too young to be this bad at trying to look young. -If Oregon was a person -27 plus 20 you meant -Being a mother is a full time job. I hope you take staying at home just as serious. -I am absolutely shocked someone rutted with you -Did your dog do your makeup -Jesus christ what's the deal with all these damaged goods aging in dog years -There’s no way you don’t have a crystal dildo. -27 my ass! You look 45. -"You couldve just posted the pic, we knew the description from observation" -I’d keep you at home too -You look ridiculous! I feel sorry for your kids. -Unattractive people should refrain from putting shiny things in their face to draw attention to it. #themoreyouknow -Show us a picture of your trailer. Come on I can see that cheap vinyl siding behind you in one of the pictures. -That’s a rough 27 years for sure. I’d have guessed 35-40. I notice the camp fuel bottle on one of the pics. How’s that meth addiction coming. Still under house arrest? -Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Methbelline. -“420 user” like a 12 year old from 2008. Just say pot smoker. That’s like saying “stay at home mom” when we all know it’s harder as a felon to get a job. Should be “involuntary stay at home mom” -What is it with all you dopes on roastme that have tattoos and piercings all over and smoke weed? Grow the fuck up. It's sad. -You and your kids live in a nice shack under a bridge -Damn that cocaine has aged you -Your attempts at being unique are failing as miserably as your love life. -"Weird, your 5 in 57 looks like a 2" -You look how cigarettes smell.. -"Ok, all the piecrcings and ear guages look fucking ridiculous. Who convinced you that was a good look?" -Idk why everyone thinks septum piercings look good… they look god awful -‘Feeling myself lately’…suppose that’s one way to deal with the constant rejection… -You need a shirt that says fuck vitamin D -ngl id assume you were trans if i saw you on the street. -What’s it like knowing you’ll never achieve your dreams? -Stop mething with us -"I'm surprised someone actually ejaculated inside you, twice. I thought meth whores stuck strictly to oral work." -You forgot to mention ur OF account… -If I was him I would cheat on you too -"As much as you think you’re cool and hip, you’ll always be a soulless ginger" -I call BS on the mom part. There's no way anyone is having sex with you -Know them kids are malnourished if they had to feed from those school milk cartons -If “fucked my brains out” were a picture. -You look like you smelled what the rock was cookin -"That propane tank in pic 5 sure heats up that rock pretty well I bet. Smart tweeker, yellow ones put out more heat than the blue ones." -"“Stay at home mom” is not what you are, it’s what your kids say to you when they have any event at their school." -I'm gonna stay out of this one -"son, you were conceived under the half-pipe at a sk8 park, dude." -Gross -Trans lives matter. -You look like you bounce checks at the dollar store. -Been feeling yourself lately… because no one else wants to. -I don't want to roast you. Just give you a sandwich and a number for rehab. Then I'll check on the kids. -Face screams multiple shoplifting arrests at the nearest ghetto 7-11 -Certainly not a place I would deposit semen -And you look it. -Were you on Laverne and Shirley? -Yikes -You look exactly how you describe yourself -"I can't tell if your trans or just like swallowing apples - -The apple doesn't fall far from the chin!" -You look like the kind of person whose relatives are already trying to figure out how they are going to divide up custody. -Ew. -I'd smoke too if I looked like you -"Enjoying life now, just wait until your oldest child catches his first criminal charges" -Should have felt yourself earlier rather than having 2 kids to continue the crackhead lineage -Mom? meaning somebody had to what i’m assuming was unwillingly cum in her… i can’t even imagine what poor soul was that down fucking bad. -"Guarantee all the older people in your family, parents-in-laws grandparents etc worry about your child's well-being" -You smell like Only Fans -Don't be down on yourself. You probably clean up really nice for your probation officer -I weep for those kids.. -I’d roast you but I think the meth beat me to it. -This should be a anti marijuana advertisement -You look like if Will Ramos turned to fentanyl instead of music. -Even Jim Carrey on the show “In Living Color” played the part of the butch ripped chick “Vera de Milo” looked better than this. There is a very big similarity though. https://youtu.be/CHU-HyrS2Ns?si=zDtyDHezDFdEZNNr -You look like Joe dirts daughter -"There's a book called 'Odd Thomas' by Dean Koontz. In it, they describe a man by stating that his skin is waxy and his hair resembled mold. The called him the ""Fungus Man"" for the rest of the book. - -I was never able to form a clear mental image of what that might look like, until over a decade later when I saw your first picture." -Bruh. You look + 40 and that’s me being nice -You could tell me you're a guy and I wouldn't bat an eye -"I bet she is good friends with Ricky, Bubbles and Julian at the trailer park." -"I'm gonna quote something I heard recently: - ->ridden hard, put back wet." -If BigLots was a female -"Two kids? -No way it’s the same dad - no guy would go in a second time." -"Stay at home mom of 2 what, cats?" -27 going on 48. -It’s like the 1980s threw their trash out and landed in 2024 -Who the fuck had kids with her? -"You look like the kind of parent that will try and defend giving your kids secondhand smoke because ""weed is natural and not addictive.""" -"You look like you smell like cat piss, BO, and desperation" -Crack is hella of a drug -I thought you were a chicken at first -Walmart Emmy Rossum on meth -"Crazy cause I was literally just thinking what happened to Jack Skellington's kids and then boom, first post I see! How's dad?" -Kristin Wiig called and wants you to body double her casket scene -"420 celebrator... you don't ""use"" 420. It's a term." -This is what anal on the first date looks like -"Yokes,nasty!" -How long has your life been in shambles? -You look like a human representation of a festival toilet. -Never before has stay at home mom translated to unhireable house pump so directly. -Dont do drugs kids -Your kids tell you to spend some time outside -"*Shudder* - -Good god…" -You look like a man -I bet your house smells like cheap candles and incense. But that’s still not enough to cover the cat piss and cigarettes -"I'm still waiting for my change,... I gave you a quarter!!! 😂😂😂" -Uhmmm.....ok..👀 -Someone call CPS on you for trying to starve your kids breast feeding? -Looks like you would be exceptionally unattractive regardless of the meth use -Kids from two different clients? -When your mom's your dad and your dad's your brother -Shut up bird! -"If “Ewww gross, get it away from me!” Had a physical representation." -When did you get your sex change? -My wife and I made the same face you had in the first photo while going through the rest -If the detransitioning movement had a face….. -The patchouli and astrology is strong with this one -"""Feeling myself lately"" - -You could just say only fans channel with no viewers. - -We all knew." -"“Been feeling myself lately”. Well that’s good, cause I seriously doubt anyone else wants to do it" -Those poor kids...starting life with no chance. Absolutely no chance at all. -The fent should've finished the favor when it had the chance. -Call of Duty: Modern Welfare -Please stay at home for the rest of your life. -You look like someone I’d fuck then not brag to my friends about -Do your kids have different dads or did someone actually sleep with you twice? -It’s better for everyone if you stay at home. -"Jesus. People need a license to drive a car, and evidently anyfuckingone can have a kid" -When did the ice addiction start? -"Stay at home, no problem, the meth dealer delivers" -"Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a pin-cushion. - -Life goal met." -Thank god you stay at home. I'd be bummed to bump into you. Ps I hope you're having a nice day! -Has never said 'wait til your Father gets home'. -If natural deodorant was a person… -">Been feeling myself lately - -Can't imagine anyone else is up to the task." -"Ngl, 4/5 got my heart fluttering. I then reminded myself that I have standards; granted they are incredibly low, ""Mariana's trench-level"" low, but they are standards none the less. - -Furthermore, the other pictures drop-kicked any minute trace of the horny far, far away where it can hurt me no more. Seriously those pictures will give any man ED, and make any woman drier than the salt flats of Bonneville. - -I am also curious. When did you start using 420? I have no doubt that your mother took drugs that make MK ultra look like a box of dinosaur shaped vitamin gummies, accompanied by vast amounts of alcohol and cheap cigarettes while pregnant with you. What I'm asking is; did you start using the day you were conceived or when you were born? - -You also posted the same picture twice poeskop. - -I shall see myself to horny jail... - -Edit: Horny jail bit." -Stay at home mom of 2 pipes with zero kids at home. Orphaned for sure. -Since when is 420 code for meth? Video games? Flicking Mac n cheese at the TV. You play kick the toys as a game and have 2 pieces of furniture outside your multi color double wide. Feeling yourself is more like picking crabs off your crotch. Now assume the position and take it! -And they say you can't judge a book by its cover.... -Did the father of your children manage the hot topic you used to work at? -Who's home? Do they know you're there? -"""Feeling myself"" because nobody else wants to ""feel"" you...at least not without protective gloves" -you also used to be a dad of two right? -Do the moderators of this sub allow any photos of women without septum piercings? Genuinely curious. I have not seen a one. -When you say mom do you really mean dad who became mom? Show us your Adam’s Apple for verification. -"I don't even want to roast you but you look more like you're sick and approaching 50 than 30. Maybe do something for your health, reduce cannabis and do some sport." -Not gonna lie... I'm weirdly attracted to this one... -Your picture just slow roasted itself -"You look like a boy, a girl and a trans all on one" -Two what? -"I mean you can see the regret in your face for posting these pictures, or you just burped up last nights throat creampie.." -One of the few women who can't use their body to score free bud. -"Bro, we ALL know your mom has custody of those kids." -You're mid and can't pull off space buns -I am not even sure the strongest Viagra could be effective — a bag or doggie style maybe your only hope !! -The stench of your vagina could resuscitate someone overdosing on fetanyl. -Chappell homeless -Rode hard and put away. -You look like if chlamydia was a person. -Queen of the trailer park. - being unemployable doesn't count as being a stay at home mom. -"1st off this subreddit has become insult me rather than roast me. - -2nd off you didn’t need to add 420 user we all knew." -"First picture - oh she’s cute. - -Second picture - Jesus Christ, imagine the gumjob she could give." -Your kids wish you were sober. -"“Haha that’s some basic white girl shit” --Her when she sees some aqua or pink wall sign with an inspirational quote, while she looks down at her Walmart alt-girl attire and cranks Ghost in her car (which needs brakes) with Nightmare Before Christmas stickers in the window." -Needlejuice needlejuice needlejuice! -Rated: Kinda acceptable. Or Ex Heroin user -Home Night Schooled -My mom tell me about women like u please don't disappoint me -Is it still “mom” when you give birth to your own younger siblings? Does she get child support or an allowance? -Just don’t leave any of your needles around for your kids to find. -"So does the ""baby daddy"" know they arnt his" -"Guarantee she's real particular about her ""pronouns """ -Thr piercings!!!! Godawful -I am sure you're not a taxpayer burden whatsoever -“Go back inside” says nature. -The daughter of Beetlejuice and a crack whore -Stays at home. Her kids can’t read. Or speak in complete sentences. -"Methany making excuses about being lazy. ""Stay at home mom"", while she smokes up and puts the kids in front of a TV screen while sleeping the day away. Take a shower once in a while at least." -Loser -"How do you know if someone likes weed? Don't worry, they'll fucking tell you." -God lose the piercings. Ugh -Ugh jesus... not on my worst day or drunkest for that matter would this be an option to fuck -2 kids and a pot head???…….Grow up. -"You mean ""stay at home with your bastard kids at your patents house and probably causing them a divorce"" mom? Right?" -Get a job -I didn’t know you’ll got internet in Appalachia -It’s gotta be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway at this point -"Open the dictionary to ""depression"" your pictures would be next to it." -And I'm Donise!!!!! -You look like you got lost on the way to a Halloween party and just decided to stay in costume permanently. -"Enjoy feeling yourself, have to deal with touch deprivation somehow, right?" -"I feel like if you went missing, nobody would bother to look." -27!? You look as dried up as a stale popcorn fart. -She loves butseks -You look like the lady from HIMYM but not in a good way -You wanted to go back to the days of being able to share your selfies in highschool and guys fell over themselves for a chance with you. Years later and it looks like they didn't miss out on anything. -I was feeling myself too until I saw your picture. Idk if I could be any limper. -"Your song would be ""Deep dark depression and excessive misery""" -I know nose rings are popular but what is it for to lead you around -Your head looks like a used qtip. -Time to put this one out to pasture 🤙 -"The official face of ""Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job in the world"" - -While the Dad works, cook,and clean." -not meth just shitty coke -What made you decide to wear the family Halloween tablecloth? -If unenthusiastic hand job had a face has never been more appropriate. -Does your husband know you sell nudes to buy 420? -What was your husband thinking?! -Who's platinum album is that on the wall -"If ""I support safe injection sites next to schools and kindergartens"" had a face." -Call social services! -Guessing they were formula fed -"Her look it's a ""Pick Me"" girl that never gets picked" -Mom of 2. Someone slept with you twice!?? -"Stay at home mom of two is a fancy way of saying your Arbon business fell through. - -By feeling your self do you mean your rib cage poking through from anorexia. - - -I cant tell what is more flat, you or your partners sex drive after you tried to re-enact scenes from boulders gate" -Get off reddit and get back behind that register - those dollar general customers ain’t gonna ring themselves up -You don't look like your felling yourself -"No personality, talents, or prospects. Why not just stay home, take drugs, play games, and let guys dump loads in you. NPC to oblivion" -She's looking for Mr. Bojangles on the The Green Mile. -27 going on 47 -420 yo mom. **FTFY** -Someone pumped two into you? Or two separate hit ‘n runs. -I thought she meant like with her parents and their grandkids/ her kids -Feeling yourself. Get used to it. -"When the kids are out with dad and his girlfriend they ask if girlfriend can be their mom but he relies “No, we have mom at home”." -Been feeling yourself because no one else wants to. -27? Must’ve been a lot of hills on your paper round. -"""Stay at home mom"". We just know you got those kids fucking your dealers" -Wtf is that creature? -The dead look in your eyes that only neglecting your unwanted kids to smoke weed can bring. -Methhhhhhhhhh -I guess you got pierced down there still no one to play with them or with pierced tities. Using 420 by giving bj 😯💦 -"Those poor kids. Stoned mom, stuck in her teens. Getting high and playing video games must be so exciting for your kids to watch." -You look like Hilda from H3 if she did meth -None of your facial expressions give off a “Not-Guilty” vibe!! -You should probably spend less money on weed and more on improving your style -"Goddamn, I thought those were meth pics. - -But no, this is children. - -Children: not even once!" -Can someone tell me what 420 is!? -I’d divorce you. -"""Stay at home"", more like under house arrest. How's the internet in the trailer park?" -Ever considered posting on r/mombod? -You’ve been feeling yourself? So how many people does that make in total? -"Well, she got the ""user"" part right" -27 going on 58 -"Picking at invisible scabs on your face doesn't count as ""feeling yourself""" -You seem like the kind of person who runs a finger between their toes and then takes a whiff. -That's a lot of words to tell us that you're just a lazy stoner. -So an anchor then? -"When you say mom of 2, I'm guessing you impregnated yourself" -This is the type of girl who thinks a fancy first date is going to Chipotle.... to blow a guy behind the fancy Chipotle dumpster instead of the gas station dumpster -You definitely use more than 420 but I’m not judging -comment -Roast you? Step in to daylight and the sun will roast you. -Spider Man would've happily dropped you. -Tori Aimless -You look like someone set every character creation option to default -Your face is so flat you could bite a wall -"If you look deep in the eyes, you can see the empty space where the soul is supposed to be" -I doubt you even get invited to your own birthday party -"Oh my God I can’t believe you’re alone on your…. - -…ah, just kidding I totally believe you’re alone on your birthday" -You look like ham -"# ""26F. It's my birthday and I'm alone. Make it hurt."" - -No, thanks. Your cherry shall remain un-popped this evening." -It's no wonder you are alone with those eye implants -Nice fingernails Chewy. -Your fingers look like toes that have been repeatedly stubbed against a curb barefoot. -"Pale redhead not showing teeth, sounds like you might have two kinds of gingervitis" -Mrs. Potato Head got her shit all jumbled up. -you’re alone because you’re a ghost in human skin -You look like Ted Bundy had his way with your skull. -You have the face of a blowup doll for some reasons! -Are we allowed to post photos of murderers wearing their victim's skin as a mask? -You're such a big loser that on your birthday you need us losers to roast you just to feel like you exist -#Pippi Long-Clitoris -You look like an alien that wants to blend into humanity and failed miserably at his attemps. -"Folks think you are Dave Mustaine when younger, if female and still an addict. Basically totally crazy." -"Is ""make it hurt"" what you told the plastic surgeon?" -Kim Not-Possible. -"Whos soul are you taking on your ""BIRTHDAY""?" -What does a redhead miss at a party? An invitation. -"Damn you had a jump scare on number 2. Happy birthday, stop using a cup to make your lips bigger." -"Take care of that cold sore, it's quite off-putting." -No need to mention that you're alone.We know it. -"Woman! Roast you? The hottest thing in here is your fine looking ginger self. Happy birthday! - -Q: What do you call a woman who can slam a revolving door? - -A: A redhead. - -Q: What's the difference between a redhead and a terrorist? - -A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. - -Q: What do time and redheads have in common? - -A: They wait for no man. - -Q: What's the difference between redheads and whiskey? - -A: With prayer and effort, you can give up whiskey." -"Thank god for that gorgeous hair hiding the fact you look like genderswapped Baron Harkonnen under there. Also your face looks so plastic and emotionless I’m surprised they didn’t call you for the M3GAN sequel. - -Happy birthday 🎂" -"Single mom alone on her bday? - -Ginger? - -Resting bitch face? - -How much more hurt do you want! Get on a dating app, sure you can find a train of guys to hurt you more and make you cry by the end. - -And you will still be alone at the end as well." -Happy birthday! Forgot to filter out the herpe on your lip 👄 in pic 1️⃣ -"I tried to think of a roast, but it sucks celebrating your birthday alone, I just hope you have a good day :/" -Does alphagingie have a dingy? -You're much cuter with the lights out -"I'm pretty sure you'd need a soul for it to hurt. Nice try, I'm onto your ginger tricks." -"Get used to it... - -Being alone." -A ginger with a face like that. Get used to being alone. -You have dead doll eyes -"When folks say, “don’t stick it in crazy” it’s you they’re talking about" -You're eyes really make the red sores on your lip pop. -"Ah, celebrating the day humanity rejected you" -I have seen mannequins with more life and emotions. -Do you only bite your fingernails or toenails too? -In some fucked up way you remind me of Michael Jackson. -Happy Birthday -Nah too pretty -you are the girl i fuck before i find true love -Happy birthday sweetie -I'm going to pretend to be shocked that you're alone on your birthday but between being that level of ginger and having that look of constipation its going to come across a little disingenuous...😱 -Gemma Farterton -You have a weird face.  -Not just alone.. but not a soul in sight. -I can smell the wee from here… -Bend over -"I can't... It is sad when anybody is alone on a special day or ocassion. Why do you ask to be hurt? - -Have some self love and do something special!" -You look like you’d smile in court hearings when they try you for murdering your kids. -"For the last time the manager isn’t here, take your soul steeling ass somewhere else." -🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 -"An emo redhead, well there's a psychotic break waiting to happen." -Ginger -Is that what you said to daddy? -"Carrie, if the only power she had was to make all dicks go limp" -Discount Amy Pond -"she doesn't have STDs, STDs have HER" -Your beautiful lol🙏 -"You’re ginger, being alone is something you need to get used to ………." -Your Rusting -"Dave Cumstain, lead singer of Megableah" -“Make it hurt”: name of your sex tape of you had a love life. -"You should be used to birthdays alone, and holidays, and weekends, and days that end in ""Day""" -I bet your perants wish they could replace you with a DEI hire just like Disney did with the Little Mermaid. -Tori Almost -They have male escorts -"You didn’t have to say you were alone. That’s a given, honey." -"Don’t go outside at night , that moon can burn in minutes" -You look like all your ex boyfriends are in little jars in your fridge. -Happy Birthday beautiful!! -id love to when and where? -"I'd definitely hit it. - -Not sex but like with a stick or something" -"I think i've seen you on cumtribute, without any comments." -A single mother with a failed marriage. Life has already roasted you enough. -Happy birthday from a fellow ginger. We’re the unicorns of the universe and we have to stick together. :-) -Paranormal sighting caught on camera. c.2024 -Love your freckles! -I remember you from the late 80's and early 90's Axel Rose. You put on some weight though -Your hot! -I can't roast you your too damn pretty -Why are you alone? 😭😭😭 -"The one thing you’re asking for, is the one thing everyone is happy to do to you. Make you hurt." -Make it hurt bend over -"""So, what makes you want to try porn today?""" -When someone uses a flash on their phone do you hiss at it? -You’re loved by more people than you know. -Sadie sinkhole -u look 15 -"You’re alone? I’m suprised you’re really attractive, but then that confirm’s that you’re probably a nightmare to be with…" -"I’ll go pic-by-pic. Pic #1: your model beautiful in this pic, but stop biting your nails. They’re not flattering. Pic #2: Your face looks like it went through a Star Trek teleporter, but they omitted “facial character“ when you re-energized in the new location. Pic #3: the filter and/or make up you used shows an inability to apply it. Pic #4: Your bangs are the length of my living room curtains. This is one case where I hope the curtains don’t match the drapes." -Want to spend it sitting on my face? -i literally can’t i feel too bad -Been tricking guys for 8+ years with filters -Resting Dumb Face -"Christians: ""There is a God!"" - -Atheists: ""Redheads."" - -Christians: *joins Atheists*" -"Some things in life will change over time. You will get wrinkles, go gray, etc. but the loniliness will never change." -Why were you crying if you have no soul? -You’re not alone. There has to be several personalities in there! -Was catering not good enough for you on Event Horizon that you ate your fingernails? -You’re the reason we have vampire hunters? -Heard gingers have no souls. Didn't know they don't have friends either. -You don’t look a day over 22. Extra points for being a ginger lady. But I guarantee you have several chairs or surfaces in your house with clothing slung over them so go pick that sh*t up -"Now i understand why everyone ""missed"" your birthday -Because of how ugly you are!" -Meat grinder man hands -"You hurt my feelings with your unexpressive face on your birthday. Geez, thanks." -You have a face that would make me spill a gallon of milk just so I could go out to the store and not come back. -You always look like you just got done crying. Or like you could cry at any moment. -"This bitch look crazy no wonder u alone, you look like u stab people in their nightmares 😭😂" -Your forehead deserves a “Your name here” advertisement and your eyebrows would like to segregate from each other. -With how much you need attention I can see why you would be alone. -"Aww, sweetheart.. you didn’t have to tell us you were alone in your birthday. We knew already.." -What's with the pictures of a baboons ass? This feels like borderline animal porn -Took a peak at your profile… I think life is doing a darn good job at roasting you day in and day out. -Discount Amelia Pond -why you look like Michael Jackson in the third picture lmao -"You're alone, a woman, and a ginger on top of that. Nature has made it hurt enough, i dont need to do anything else" -High cheek bone is an attractive trait. Not on your face tho -Can anyone here help me with a thumbs up. I need 10 Karma from a sub to be able to post a photoshop request for my son’s Halloween costume. I don’t want to post him on my main account so I created a new one but need a bit of history for them to let me post. Was hoping this sub could help get me there since I spend so much of my time here on my other account. How the hell did you comment from a new account these days when all the subs have minimum requirements?! -Just look forward to the future... when you'll be alone on your 27th birthday. -Well I can see you're from England. You guy's write your dates azz backwards -Looking ready to set the prom on fire -AHH….pick a direction!! -I'm too drunk for this. Is she kinda hot? Or am I just that drunk? -"The reason you are alone, is because red heads have smelly boxes, and no one is strong enough to wade through the smelly vagina stench to get to your party." -It’s cause you’re a ginger -Happy Birthday -Your face looks like a gummy fruit snack. -Get used to being alone -I see why you're alone -You’ll be alone after your birthday also -Happy birthday -Gingers smell like piss and don’t have souls -It's probably because of your mid looks and personality. -Every time she wakes up she's like 'someone once told me the grass is much greener/on the other side' 🎶 -Not even a pityfuck? Sad -Those two pictures without makeup are frightening -"OK be honest, did you spend more time selecting your lipstick than the entire rest of your outfit?" -You look like one of those insufferable dog moms that try to take their shit ankle biter everywhere but everyone has cut you off. -"PIC#3 how do you breath through that, nose? I've seen snakes with a better nasal system" -You hit the wall early. -nice try souleater. -"I can't make it hurt for i have no feelings, AND, i know you have no soul." -"... Judging by your looks, it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway" -"Nothing we say is going to hurt as much as -“##F. It’s my birthday and I’m still alone” will. -See you same time next year and the ones thereafter." -You know when they said gingers were soulless I didn't actually believe them until your first picture. -That wont be your last ride honey -"Well you are a ginger, do i need to say more?" -Someone shifted your avatar's mouth too low -Your favorite position is sitting at your desk and inventing a r*pe story.  -Not sure what’s the ugliest….your face or your puffy ass man hands? -It's the least favorite redheaded stepchild..... -"Huh? Roast? Oh right, yeah, I'm sorry I forgot you were there." -Your ginger not strawberry blonde -In the first pic it looks like you just finished a lip stretching exercise of some type… 🍆 -If Donna from 70s show was ugly and had the eyes of a soulless rodent -Alone? Whos that demon peeping through those eyes? -Show us your soul ginger. -Genuine question - do you read much? -Hey it’s nothing you did… it’s just no one wants to spend time with you. -This fire crotch temper is shorter than asians dick. -Can’t make it hurt anymore than the pain of your parents leaving you in a shopping mall toilet once they realised you were a ginger -El ser tan bonita y estar tan sola es el mayor insulto a tal belleza. -" -If I knew you I would have said to myself, she has a mind to spend her birthday alone... but wait, that's already the case" -Alone because the coven kicked you out and you haven't got any other freinds -You look like you cry with almost 0 provocation and that’s why no one likes spending time with you. -"Your Makeup Looks Like it was applied by a mortician. What i am saying is, the World already knows that you will have a closed casket funerals, and you haven't even aged yet." -You are 10/10 fuck you -"With make-up on you look like a cheap Russian prostitute and without make-up you look like a Sesame Street character.  - - -Happy Birthday Ginger Minger" -"Try taking a pic of a person, jot an object. Cant say much about something that looks dead" -No lube ✔️ -"""It just knicked her"" - Shane Gillis" -"Awwww, poor soulless, why the long face?" -"Keep the makeup on, Nebula." -"You’re probably alone because you’re a bitch to everyone, I don’t blame you though. If I woke up like that everyday I’d be a bitch to" -How do you even get stretch marks around your mout…ohhhhhhhh. -I bet you like socks .  -How long have you been among the undead? -Are the teeth all fucked up too? You need to go back to the ginger store and re-roll. -Does it get tiring telling people you look like Tori Amos and not having a single person know who that is? -"Slidin your photos is like -quite ok, smashable, what the fuck is this, ah ok" -I never thought I could find a girl with freckles attractive after seeing you I definitely know I can’t -Your birthday is 31th of October. -Only Blands -"""make it hurt."" Lol. That's what she told her boyfriend, oops, no boyfriend." -You look like a Lucy Letby admirer. I would not feel safe around you. Sadist vibes. -I'm in love -"There's something about you that reminds of a baby seal, I'm just wondering how much clubbing it's gonna take to make you pretty." -"""Feminism"", made you alone, but don't fret, cats and whine boxes are right around the corner." -THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU! THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU! -Looking at you makes it obvious why your alone... -You look like you’re trying in vain to pancake make-up over the evidence of dating Chris Brown. -Being a girl and still being lonely tell how how much pathetic u are! -Discount Amy Pond who actually allucinated every time travel and adventure with The Doctor because he was just a shroom dealer who gave her some good shit -"your friends make it hurt, by not coming or not existing, pick your poison - -we just make lame jokes about girls looking like guys" -"If little ginger boys were my thing, you would be a stunner. - -Ps the sun's outside stand under it 💀" -If you read the comments while looking into the mirror it will hurt even more. -Did you fuck an ostrich? -You look like one of those blow up sex dolls that got thrown in the reject bin because the machine malfunctioned and made an abomination -These are four different people right? Right? -"My wife asked me to get my ginger daughter ready for her first day at school. - -So I punched her in the face and stole her dinner money! - -This definitely happened to this chick 😂" -And just another 50 to go! -You look exactly like the orange cat outside. -"Hey look, it's Cassie White." -Forest green outfits are wasted on you. -Well you are beautiful so if you are alone there is some sort of problem. -Your nose looks like its been wedged between two crashed cars. -Even your fingernails are cringing at your face and retracting back into your fingers -"No one is gunna text you are you sure there your friends , get ready for the oh sorry I didn’t get too yah on your birthday I was busy" -You look like the kind of chick that would get knocked up by her ex fiancees best friend 3 weeks after calling off the engagement -Being vegetarian isn't the reason you can't get any meat. -Chappell Ruin -You look like your a AI render -God looking at photos of you is actually the most boring thing I’ve done this year. -"Those cold dead eyes don't feel pain, nice try." -Most of these pictures are more than 5 years old aren’t they? -"Oh, what have you done that you are alone?" -You got a realy looooooong and round face xD -You look like odo from deep space 9 with a red hair wig. -"I don’t know. I hope you have a nice arse, at least that would be something positive and redeeming for you ❤️" -If axl rose and Dave mustaine had a child........it wouldn't be you. It would be talented -Ginger -Your a poor mans Anne of Green Gable -Cute! -"I tried to think of something, but you’re just too pretty. Happy Birthday. 🎈" -At least you have your horse to fuck around. I never see no horse spare a good carrot for a fuck. -"I feel really uncomfortable saying something mean. Just looking at you, id have to make something up that wasn't true, and then what if you believed it? I'd feel awful.. I don't want that. I'd rather be a part of something that made you feel better or at least ok." -Dollar store Aloy -let unc slide through -I’ve seen this video…she said the same thing to her stepbro while she was stuck in the dryer. -"Red on the head , like the d#&*k of a dog ! HA! Bet it’s the first time you heard that !" -Looking at pic 2 I think I nose why. -"nah. happy birthday, dude" -I thought this was the Emily Rose fan Page -Why should we waste our time roasting someone who has no soul? -"I can already tell you have no emotions, like Dexter Morgan. I’m going to have to put your fingers in a vise grip and squeeze. Then you’ll hurt. At least you won’t be alone as we livestream." -You are great Just continue -"Happy Birthday, beautiful." -I bet there's no thoughts behind those eyes . -"I would save your soul. But you know... - -you are a... - -gi... - -Gigantic nerd." -"Nearly 30, ginger and unmarried. Better dust off that fire crouch before you die alone." -It looks like you took skin from a girl and stretched it over a robot face. -"Your fingers look like Golums out of Lord of the rings, except you don't have a ring because no one wants a ginger." -You look like someone heated up your face and pushed down on your cheeks really hard. -Bot account -"Looking at those fingernails, I can see you haven’t been to the nail salon in like… Forever" -"Even your eyebrows look sad they can't escape your face. - -You look like the token ginger stepkid oh wait up" -Temu Nicole Kidman -"Dw people are still celebrating on your bday - celebrating their peace and quiet, that is" -You are jane doe of ginger people -You are more 30 than 20 -"Let's just say if you had a clitoris, would it have a lot of freckles also?" -Only thing your face is good for is target practice for facials -unrapeable -Thanks for curing my love of redheads. -"The redhead step-child no one wanted, of course you’re alone this day your parents forgot to pay the people to pretend to be your friends" -You overcooked the noodles on your pan. Use oil next time since you aren't even a butter face -You’re not alone I’m still single at the age of 26 -Dollar store Sissy Spacek -No soul and no friends -Are you Rocky Dennis' daughter? -Proof that’s it’s not cause you told all your « friends » about your birthday that anyone will show up. -You look like that Druid girl from Vox Machina -You aren’t worth making it hurt -Your ex said thanks for finally understanding it’s over. -what a ginger does when they want to high five a friend? They clap. -It won’t hurt as much next year. You should be used to being alone. -You look like Amy pond if she never met the doctor. :D -I mean with enough lube it wouldn’t hurt -You look like that creepy bitch Laura Loomer before she hacked her face up to look like a goblin. -It wont get any better as you get older -Pic number two - you look like a plucked chicken -"The eyes say soulless, but the hands say fishmonger." -What was it like writing Hangar 18? -Even insufferable males who refer to women as m'lady do not strike up a conversation with you. -Happy birthday! -"Just lile Nirvana sang, ""all my freinds are in my head""" -I bet you were even alone on the day you were born -"You look like chatGPT described a human female and that description was then given to an image generating Ai. -I’m still not convinced you’re real." -Tori Lame-os -You look 40 years old with makeup that's actually impressive -You look like you were supposed to look lively -Bullied in high school and ignored by all potential mates as an adult. Maybe the bullies were right. -"If only you were a day walker, you would still be alone on your birthday!" -"There's nothing wrong with you, but that's not saying much. - -Seriously don't take any of this too personally, it's not like you chose to be this way." -Get used to it -What’s your email I need a new spot to park my helicopter -"Happy birthday, cute face! Sorry no roast to hurt, u r too cute for that" -One of the cases where with little changes you could look so great but you choose this -Be kind to yourself. -Well do you see any reason to celebrate the day you were brought to this world? -Happy Birthday to you… said no one you care about -Whore-y Amos -Dollar store Amy Pond -I think you look hot in the last picture -"Well according to picture 4, even your hair is trying to dip out on your birthday" -The only thing that can Save you now is chemotherapy -"Happy birthday. -I'm surprised no-ones' put out your candle yet." -how many times have you broken your nose? -Cheer up! You only have to endure 5 or 6 more of these before the crushing loneliness finally becomes too much to bear. -"Just imagine your birthdays, if you would be an ordinary guy" -First of all take off that mask and face me like a man! -I bet your name is Windy... -Are you a witch? -"All pics are something, but the second one is special it looks like your nose is starting to melt down to your mouth 🫠" -I don’t know that Asians can be gingers too. -"When I look at you, I realize it’s not just evil that’s banal. I hope I don’t have to explain that to you, but probably will." -Don't want to spoil it - but you'll be alone forever -comment -"OP's Bio: - ---- - ->Absolutely insecure about my bald head, so please dont mention it. -> ->Went from 6 figure income to barely surviving. -> ->Burned bridges with most of my family members. -> ->Partner of 8 years hates my guts. -> ->Found out from my doctor my health is deteriorating quite rapidly. -> ->Losing all my savings at an alarming rate. -> ->It's a slow bleed, but I will eventually lose everything and I don't even care. -> ->Make me feel some emotions again, fam. - ---- -If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide." -Dwayne the wok Johnson -Man’s Built Like A Korean Turtle Without A Shell -When “Strip Club Bouncer” is your ceiling. -That’s what your wife said “I don’t feel anything” -Loved you in Austin Powers -"When you think no one cares, try missing a few payments" -Did you just notice what the roids are doing to your testicles? -No feelings ✅ that's just your survival instincts kicking in and preparing you to hit rock bottom. -I assume you throw a dress shoe at all of your problems -"Poor Oddjob, It was all downhill after Mr Goldfinger died" -"Yo man, as someone who is hitting his mid 30s, is in far worse shape than you, and also feels nothing anymore... you're better than that, and I think you know it. Shit gets real rough sometimes, and it's a fucking bitch. And we tell ourselves that the spiral is everything. We romanticize it and ride it to the bottom without giving a second thought, when in reality, we can and often do get off the ride down. Even if it's for just a second in our day for a positive thought/feeling, or for a whole day for some unexpected pleasure that shows us some light before we hop back onto the defeatist mentality. - -For what it's worth, you look like a super genuine person at (literal) face value, and I feel like your replies throughout this thread show that that is you. I've been through shit exes, shit family, shit friends, shit living situations. I've struggled with addiction, money, creating a life--social, professional, or otherwise.. you name it. I've become so fucking numb to it all til just this late night drunk moment. Even a post like this, you are still putting yourself out there and you know it and you will be fine, but you need to know that. Not necessarily all the time; just some of the time when you need to. I sincerely hope you remember that, and that you remember that your actions matter. This post and your comments made me reflect on my life and own emotions. Simply by doing something this small and from a low place, you can still make a difference. You made me feel something, man. - -And that something is disgust. Wear a fucking hat, baldie." -"Ain’t going to roast you my man. - -I’m going to say; chin up. You don’t look like a stranger to hard work. You look like someone who knows how to bust your chops to get what you want in life. You need to find that energy again my man. We all stumble in life; the winners keep getting up. - -Peace out ✌️" -"Shit man, youre the modern day Ghengis Khan! Get the fuck up and go take over the world!" -"Not fat, still round 🟠" -"Do your clients know you're in their bed, rather than working on their garden?" -There is a fear developed in your childhood which makes you try to please and impress to the point where you’ve poisoned yourself with steroids and a toxic personality that is focused on impressing people and craving attention. Get off the juice and go see a therapist and find out who you really are. Be well. -Your head looks like Wilson from Cast Away -Kung fu panda without costume -Kim’s inconvenience. -What gas station sushi and monster energy does to a mf -Have you considered being a Sumo wrestler? I hear Japanese women dig those guys. -Asian Humpty dumpty -At last you’re not one of the thousands of young girls on here thinking you desperately need a nose job 🤷‍♀️ -You’re buff as fuck bro. That takes a lot of hard work. I can never. I dream of having that gym work ethic of yours. Also haha bald -Sum Ting Wong -Avatar the Last tear bender -Dude that’s odd job. Never really heard what happened to him after bond beat his boss. -A baby on steroids -Mr Sulu if he took Roids -Dave Autista -Dude looks like he’s been assembled from three different people -Just let that fart out bro you look like you’re going to explode -Joe Son got out of jail? -You look like Abobo from Double Dragon on NES. -"You look like you stare at men with a full set of hair, then go home and slap your dick on a dresser out of envy. - -Jokes aside, you have a good shaped head for a bald guy. Own it. - -Also, get some help for your mental health issues." -"I know you said roast, but I can't help but compliment you, for you look like Shrek" -"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hairline" -"Nup, I'm not kicking a fellow human when he's down, all the best mate! 😉" -Get off the roids.. -"Keep moving forward dude. Sometimes we have to lose everything, to find out what's real again. 💪🏻🧠" -I have a feeling that you give the best hugs 🥰🥰. If I were there with you then definitely a hug from me -Man this makes me sad. Hang in there and make the best out of each day. We all feel these emotions eventually. -"Don’t be insecure about the bald head. It looks good on you. You don’t need roasting, you need a hug. Sending now. It’s gonna get better" -You look like the henchman in a Jason Statham movie -"I'm not here to roast (I know, I'm in the wrong sub). Hang in there, my man. Battle through these tough times and things will most certainly improve. We've all been there, it gets better." -You put the Asian in home invasion -"If your life is in a downward spiral, this is the last place you should be." -"Exercise more, spend more time outside, express gratitude for any positive thing, don’t subject yourself to negative thoughts. Minimize your screen time. You will feel better." -"Seeing that this is flipped / mirrored : - -You'll do great, man. Baldness comes for most of us and while you may no longer be able to comb or make stylish hairstyles, know that you now sport one of the most badass styles." -Those are some sad eyes man. Not even a roast. Get some emotional help dude. Blessings. -"Brotha what it sounds like is that you need a hug, not a roast" -I hope you find peace & wealth and also your hair -"-Sell all the guns and the unopened whiskey. - --Get into counseling with your partner, even if it means you can split more amicably. - --Downsize and look into bankruptcy. - --What is the health problem? - -The bald look is good on you. Quit worrying about that." -"""Ninja Vanish"" - -You got fatter since playing Tatsu in that movie, and you look drug addicted and jobless now." -What math problem do you look at for gym motivations? Algebra 2? Trig? Cant be pre-calc... You wouldn't even know what you're looking at in Pre-Calc -"I mean, at least you can grow your beard into you shoulders for a truly epic look" -Jason Mamada -Push Up for life. Lift yourself up and not just weights. -Jason mamada -Moana says thank you -Enter the Kumite and fight Jean Claude Van Damme. I have a feeling you would do well. -"You got the same expressive look on your face that my friend used to get sometimes. He ended up getting completely shitfaced one morning, passed out while taking a shit and choked on his own vomit. - - -At least you have that going for you?" -Looking like a broke ass Dave Bautista -The declining cat and dog population behind your family's restaurant is not the end of the world. -"Need some maintenance done, do you perform Random Tasks or Odd Jobs?" -You look like a protein powder box who has reached its shelf life. -You look like the dude in James Bond that throws shoes. -Too bad you missed Austin powers with that shoe homie -Damn that terrible hosting of the Oscars did more damage to Jo Koy than I thought -When a Gummy Bear Grows up!!! -Me too man -"Things could be worse….you are good looking, strong, looks like you have a bed and a roof over your head, you have been able to be successful and you can build your way back to that. You’re also young and it isn’t too late for change. Learn from your mistakes, make amends, work hard….YOU GOT THIS!!!! Seriously." -You photoshopped your face onto a musculear body -As long as you're still breathing; life is good. -"Damn. Times have fallen hard for Aang, the Avatar: On His Last Bender" -Nah bro you too swole got nothing to lose I ain’t roasting you. I ain’t being on your bucket list -You always order the Cream of sum Yung gai -At least you're done disappointing people! There's nobody left! So there's that! -Looks like your boss told you to go home. And now you're on subreddits looking for friends. -"Looks like David Chan, but ain’t got nothing good cooking." -You have a head Pete Weber would salivate over -is it bc you got no bitches then went to the gym and still got no bitches -I swear I still remember you from The Golden Child all those many years ago -"We already know your parents are disappointed in you since you didn’t amount to anything worth bragging about to their friends and coworkers (ie doctor or engineer). If it’s any consolation, all of Reddit also thinks you suck." -"If high blood pressure had a face. - - -Btw you got awesome ink dude, props." -You probably look better now than you did when you had hair. -"""30M - My life is currently in such a downward spiral I don't even feel anything anymore, except for when I inject roids into my butt."" - -\-fixed" -Someone's wife's getting a beating tonight! -Omi hasn't been the same since 06 -Benedict Wrong -"You look relatively young, fit, and healthy. Those are three of the biggest wins you can have." -David Chang got fit. -"he’s such a blob, I wanna crush him and call him cute" -The treneese Mr. Clean -The Mishelwin Man -are you borrowing that bed for now lol -Chef David Chang after 5 yrs in prison for tax evasion -All I gotta say is Can you see me -Bro look like two gummy bears that melted in a gay panda's pocket. -"Bro made six figures and he can't even figure things out. - -Still have his health, young enough, but have no motivation to start over financially because he has no hair..." -Hang in there buddy! You got nice tattoos you look really strong 💪 so pick yourself up and dust it off and have a do over. You got this please don’t give up. 🥹 -His name.....is Random Task -Your head looks like it could roll downhill ad infinitum -He couldn’t out how to write “roast me” the correct way for a picture I thought Asians were supposed to be smart -At least turn the sign around -"Well, you still have your beard, which is...nice?" -"Not a roast, but your face looks like as if my 6 months old nephew got a beard. - -Even the eyebrow expressions are same as him, when he wants to cry." -Looks like it's time for Odd Job to start looking for odd jobs. -That is okay bud she doesn’t feel it either. -Downward spirals are tough as shit. Where do you see yourself in 12 months? -"Sure do got a lot of guns and booze for being barely surviving. Guess they were wrong, not all Asians are good at math, or those roids burned that part of the brain out." -U are the bad guy in all marital arts movies -"No, instead of roasting your testicles off, I will wish you well" -"Yeah, that sounds like life to me. Welcome." -Odd (no) Job. -How many yakuza with a snake print jacket have you tried shaking down -"Hey man if you’re down to talk hit my pm, just one bro to another" -If Oddjob had a Mini Me -"You look good bro, fit and well put together. You seem like the kinda person thats easy to crack a few beers with and bs a while. I hope things get better soon. - -Was gonna roast you but honestly, there's nothing that's gonna top Dwayne ""The Wok"" Johnson 🤣🤣🤣" -You look good. IMO -Say no to drugs kids! -almost a fully shaven kiwi man -almost a fully shaven kiwi man -Looks like your hair took the brunt of all your life's troubles and had enough quite some time ago -eM tsaoR -You're beautiful... -Dave Bao-tista -Only love amigo. -Maybe you could look for an Oddjob or two to help. -"Shit happens, that's the fun of it. You know you can earn, try doing things for others for a while without expecting anything in return and see what life looks like then." -Sad to see Wong succumbing to cancer like this. Big Dr. Strange fan. -I can't believe Liu Kang decided to not only do the One Punch Man workout but wanted to be built like John Cena. -"This is the point in life where you start to understand what's really important to you and work on it. I was a fuking wreck at 30, it got better. Work on stopping destructive behaviors, work on better communication and love yourself. Be good brother" -Dude you look like a Doom power up -You look squeezable  -The TREN called and it said to quit fucking ladyboys and you will be fine... -Master Shifu -Sorry about your misfortune man. I hope you bounce back. Also your bald as fuuuck. -I really can't say anything I'm sorry. You look sad 😭 -This guy legit looks like my dad if he was good at calculus -Odd-job having an existential crisis -I think more steroids might cheer you up. -GOZILLA!!!!!!! -Well at least your downward spiral will be more like a gentle twirl with all that shoulder hair to slow you down. -"I’ll mention the bald head. You’re totally rocking the bald with beard look! No way you look as good with hair. - -But I need a roast, uh, tattoos all on the right arm, but not the left? Get some balance dude." -“Who throws a shoe? honestly?!” -More test ought to do it -"You look like Oddjob from Goldfinger but instead of throwing a bowler hat with a blade in the brim, you throw used steroid syringes at people who are taller than you while yelling “Come at me Bro.”" -"When Oddjob isn't busy throwing his hat at double O seven, he likes to put on a blousy tank top and get in touch with his feminine side on a spa weekend." -Geez... .even dwanye johsons cock want attention on reddit. -"You're not alone..let it all blowover.. -Take it as easy as possible" -U look like Reddit logo. -At least when you hit rock bottom your head will feel at home with the other rocks down there -You got the sign wrong. 😑 -"I can tell by the headboard, you are too rich for my roast" -"You seem legitimately really cool and nice. I hope everything turns around for you man. You deserve more. With that being said, I can only see Russel from up if he got arrested for assault and battery and then became a tattoo artist" -"I honestly can't tell if the hair on your shoulders is glued on from when you shaved your pubes or if it's just fallen there, sadly and disgustingly stuck from the headboard of the hotel bed you're sleeping on tonight. - -Your bio and profile all point to a problem with alcohol. Every aspect of your life doesn't start deteriorating and go to shit for no reason. Believe me bruh I've been there and you're a classic case. We could be brothers except I have more hair on my head than my shoulders. - -On the bright side you are young enough to fix or at least mitigate the damage of a lot of this if you would start feeling some fucking emotions again fam. Won't always be the case." -Blood Boots from The Brothers Sun? -What kind of a man throws his shoe ??? Honestly Random Task from Austin Powers lookin dude -dude i just feel bad after reading ur bio 😭 sounds similar to my life -You look like a really nice dude and I think you can turn this around. -"Aw, Oddjob is sad because he lost his hat." -You look like one of them Kia Soul hamsters -"Ya no thanks. Your profile is full of booze and guns, and you judging by those prison tats, I’m gonna guess you aren’t afraid of going back to jail. - -Ima pass on this one fam, someone else can take the bullet for the sub." -Bro really skipped Head Day -"For some reason I liked how this post turned out. However, Damn, buddy! I’m holding back on roasting this guy because, well, been there, done that. Minus the steroids, of course. -But listen up: if you’re in America, you’ve got the superpower to rise again and conquer. Connect with your ancestors—the ones who’ve got your back and can light up even the darkest moments. Remember, you can’t have Yin without the Yan. Chaos? Yeah, that’s our raw material for rebuilding. So buckle up—I’m hitting the reset button next month myself. 🤘🔥 -May Odin’s wisdom guide your steps, and may the spirits of your ancestors watch over you in the darkest moments. Skål" -Why is your head on upside-down? -You look like Dave Bautista's extremly less successful younger brother who constantly asks him for money -"You look like an infant that came out shredded, like your Ma had a full gymn up in there." -Wong is that you? -I actually feel for dude. Hope shit gets better man I know how ya feel -Your face looks like upside down. -Sorry i cant help you and your do spiraling backwards you turned your sign backwards. You are too far gone down so sad . -Threw your fancy sharp hat and never found it again? -"You look like a guy who could have wasted years at that gym to get strong -Bot realizing that even with the fear and despair in your eyes -That you're actually mentally stronger than you realized -Total burn -Roasted!! - -Here if you want to chat you south park looking steroid user you." -You were great in that Bond movie as Odd Job -Genghis khanT -Good luck with your challenges. -"Legitimate advice, steroid abuse can dramatically effect your mental health - -Sober up and you’ll probably see improvement in QOL" -"Hey man, things and people in life come and go, it's the unfortunate truth, nothing here is eternal. The more you try to keep things perfectly as they were, the more you'll stress yourself as you fight an uphill battle. The important part - keep your health in check, that shit is way harder to fix than money or relationships when it goes down. You have archived a lot of good things in life it seems, more than the average guy, you'll ve able to get some or even more than what you had if you don't give up. Can't roast your bald ass, as I'm also bald and even poorer than you lol. Keep it up and good luck to you from a random stranger!" -"If you’re 30, I’m 19 😂" -We got The Wok before GTA 6 -Asian Batista -Conclusive evidence steroids make one's neck disappear. -You'll be okay brother. Things always seem darkest before the light. -You look like a thumb 👍🏼 -MF over here looking like a tatted up Oddjob -Saddest cabbage patch doll I’ve ever seen. -"If 😳and🤔 got together, fucked and gave that baby steroids, I’d imagine it would still have a bigger dick than you. And would be your doppelgänger. Respectfully." -"Don't give up. Focus on what you have whether it's family, health, friendship, the roof over your head or just to be able to feel the sunshine. Focus on what you have not what you don't have." -Looks like Odd-job has never gotten a blow job -You wear your weakness on your face and we can all see that. -I can't wait to see your final battle against the Avatar -well we can tell from the pic that at least its not anorexia. -"Hairless Asian with hairy shoulders and probably a hairy back. You might be broke, but you hit the genetic lottery." -You look like an ex Kpop idol who found Jesus in prison -"He looks exactly like my father-in-law , I hate him so much !!!! Glad my wife doesn’t look like him" -"Honestly, I'm not sure this is the sub for you." -You definitely don't have frontal lobes -"Try this -https://www.buzzsprout.com/2276975/14016860" -"The Yakuza wants you back. -They’ll continue orchestrating all these setbacks if you don’t." -You got a moose knuckle between the eyes sir -Weren’t you in Austin Powers?!? -You have a nice headboard on the bed. You got that going for ya? -Nice sleeve. Who’s your artist? -Ghengis Khan's older much less successful brother. -"You may have been top of your game before, but now you you’re on your own. -Now the hard mode begins; moving forward when you have complete Apathy. That’s the real challenge. -Fight on!!! Prove them wrong!!!" -"Id hit it. - - -I know that sounds like a compliment but you don't know my dating history" -"30years old??? - - Yulaiiiii" -"Chinese face, with an american gymrat body. -Build your own race! With hundreds of stereotypes to choose from!" -Random Task. -Clearly a first round Squid Game loser. -You managed to mis Orient your own sign to be roasted -"You look jacked enough to be your own Superman. - -But seriously, nobody is coming to save you, dude. Take responsibility for whatever is going wrong in your life, at least whatever you can control. Give yourself permission to suck at all sorts of endevours. And then improve." -Bro go genuinely apologize to someone that you hurt. You’ll feel something after that I guarantee you. -"I'm gay and I'm in love with you! -Did you feel that?!?🤪" -"This isn't a roast, so don't beat yourself up, man. we all get low sometimes. Just remember that's ok. The important thing is that we get back up. When you're down like this, find things that make you happy, like looking at them huge muscles in the mirror. Just keep fighting and find people to talk to that don't roast you and appreciate you." -"On a positive note... -My little sister has the same sports-bra but it looks better on you! 😁" -"i'm sorry you're going through that, sun baby from teletubbies" -I heard the local nightclub needs a bouncer -"You need to hit the gym, your looking pretty small" -The face Oddjob makes when nobody picks him. -You look like a Chinese ninja turtle -joe rogan meets jon gossling -Dude get some help somehow. -It’s not life bro it’s the roids -Cant feel anything can’t see anything poor guy… -"Okay, I’ll try. - -The CCP owns you, and your family." -"Seeing your face, I don't think you need a roast, you need a hug. I would totally give you one. - -You look like someone that has drive within them and I think you can make it. Sorry you are going through this and hope you can find your way to a good place soon. - -Ok, quick roast to hopefully make you smile. - -""Your head is jealous of your back hair."" - -Keep going bro. You got this!" -You look like you're permanently forcing out a shit ... -Credited as 'Unnamed Thug #3' in multiple fast and furious movies -"Stop the roids. - -That's why everything went to shit, and your family fell out with you. - -Get plenty of sleep to fix your brain chemistry. - -Take ashwagandha." -Look on the bright side: you can return all the ink in your right arm for a full refund! -It all went down hill after James bond for odd job -You look like HD OddJob from the 007 Golden Eye Nintendo 64 game. -Picture eliminates the need for your caption lol -U look like a football -Cute blouse -Life’s been hard since the bond movies didn’t want him anymore -"You’re about to hit wok bottom. - -Don’t feel anything ? Nah that’s what your partner says when you slide your flaccid member into him. - -Get off the steroids and sort yourself out." -Do you feel anything when you cut your fingers on that razor sharp hat that you wear? -Ain’t nothing to roast you about. You’re jacked and look like a genuinely good dude -You look like you shouldn't be asian -"Dude you're only 30. Sooooo dramatic. But seriously, I hope you're doing better, hang in there." -Head up brother! One day at a time. -How can I roast him. When he already roasted himself😭🙏 I hope this guy is okay. -Upshaw? -Don't sit on a wall. You'll have a great fall -The Rock bottom. -You look like Odd Job's millennial grandson. -"Didn't really like the Green Hornet, sorry" -Partner of 8 yrs? ...your cat don't count......and even that hates you.....time to lube up that wok with your tears.... -Better keep that beard to hide that baby face -Don’t give up brother. -How can we? You can’t even hold that sign up properly. -I don’t like to kick a guy when he’s down but I can’t tell if your really down or just really short. Either way you are giving off a food service vibe and probably have a really hairy back -Hoe Rogan -what’s your stack -The Wok -When you think gym is a personality. -You look like you threw your hat at James Bond and he won’t give it back -"Brother ! Chin up ! It’s not the end , and I’m sure you will find solution and figure out your situation. I’m living worst days of my life since I lost my business and around 50k in cash . I feel you brother . You look like a guy who can solve any problem so stay strong my man !" -Aren’t you supposed to be guarding some magical items in a keep in the Marvel Universe instead of wasting time on Reddit? -At least you have a nice headboard bro -It all started downhill when you threw your hat at James Bond. -Joe Wogan -Hang in there man -Why do the really short guys try to get buff? You look like you're about 4'9. Definitely over compensating. -"Omg loool what the af , this must be an AI created photo" -What does EM TSAOR mean? -Bro looks like he about to frisbee a hat to decapitate james bond -Jaki chans disabled brother/friend -Now did you steal JohnnyFD's look or is it the other way around? -Least rigged mongolian -You actually have one of the best bald heads I've seen. And I hate bald heads. Beautiful baldy 👑 -It's not your life causing the downward spiral it would be your steroid cycle. Stop injecting. -"I love you big dawg. - -Its a shit show out here now but focus on your spiritual strength as much as you physical strength and things will get better" -" Honestly, you got no reason to be insecure about being bald because that and the muscles you have just adds to a good look. I have a friend who talks about shaving his head and getting buff dude cause honestly it’s a good look! Especially with the tattoos!" -"With traps like that, you’re gonna end up being one of the rocks, at rock bottom" -"I just wanted to say you slightly look like that guy from the glass onion movie ,like the dude who dies" -"Man looks like a yakuza side character, Think of any fighting film ... ever . he looks like a henchman . maybe a second in command . maybe even the special unit . - - - -Me thinks man posted this so he could find baba yaga . - - - -Eh gl with your future my guy, we all have shitbtimes and down times, but it shows true strength if u can fight on move on and improve from any mistakes you made, Legit tho you could probably get a role as a film gangsta, if i was making a film id probably grab u)" -What's wrong? Can't scratch your ass cause the muscles too big? -You look like Genghis Can't  -"All I can see is, OVER 9000! Oh and switch your dating profile to the Pokémon Dugtrio." -"Bro, you don’t need this sub to feed your self-hatred. Been there, done that. This sub is all about finding anything remotely close to reality to overexaggerate it. While the usual poster here knows it and laughs about it, you seem to be using it to approve of your own insecurities, and thus a false reality. This comment doesn’t fit this subreddit at all, but I just want to say you look like an awesome human being. You look friendly, chill, like a bro. You seem to have put a lot of work into your body, which a lot of people don’t have the strength to do. You came a long way, and I just want to say that I am proud of you. When shit gets tough, you have to get tougher. But this includes mental health and overcoming your fears to maybe even seek professional help. I wish you all the best man, you can do it and I believe in you!" -"The name is Wong. - -Sum Ting Wong." -Great Value Maui -"You look like someone really cool and interesting with great tattoos and probably a million stories to tell. But you totally also look like someone who dribbles pee on the seat when they wee-wee, so that's all I can focus on. That's all ANYONE ever sees when they talk to you: toilet seat drips." -Judging by your eyes and muscles you seem to be compensating for something -At least you don’t have to worry about going bald -"Dude you’ve got a roof over your head, you look like you eat regularly, stop being a drama bitch." -Sum Ting Wi Li Wong. -the rock if he was asian and also look like a baby -Git fired as an extra on a Jackie Chan movie -Wait until you realize it’s all your fault too. -Dam you look old as shit for 30 -You could at least do Odd Jobs to keep your spirit up! Try to smile at least 007 times a day and daydream about having lots of Gold in your Fingers. -Count Food Panda -"You actually look cool, and you suit the bald head." -not gonna roast you. You look good ☺️ -Going to the gym won’t make you taller -"I can't roast you dude. Clearly you're going thru stuff and if you need someone to talk or vent to I'm here! Stay strong King and keep kickin ass and taken names. It may be hard rn (whatever is going on) but you've came this far. -Love the tattoos btw ! 🔥" -Woks the matter with you? Why downward spiral -Hey of your unhappy do something about it I went from homeless to going back to school and got a good job. If you have a strained relationship with family try to mend it. If it’s not worth mending walk away. If your partner isn’t compatible break up. Nothing in life is easy no stop sulking put on your big boy pants and do something about it. -Joe Logan -You probably can't see the spiral either -*Bro thought he could post a picture of a number 15 billiard ball and nobody would notice...* -"Don't give up, brother. God loves you, and in order to be made into who you're meant to be, you first must be broken. The next step is to truly seek Him." -Dwayne the Wok Johnson. -You look like someone dressed up a toddler to guest star on Joe Rogan -How is life now? -Genghis Khan would be so fucking proud of what remains of his descendants. suck my asshole man. -On the bright side for your wife everything after two inches is still brand new looking at ya. All jokes aside you’ll be fine brother. Bounce back and keep the fight going. -There’s been wars fought for the real estate on your forehead💀 -Jo Ro Gan -Daddy 🥵🥵🥵 -You can't even write backwards properly. -"Tattoos are statistically significant indicators, a billboard, for mental heath issues stemming from childhood trauma. #branded - -Roasted. - -Go to therapy." -"You listen to to much Rogan," -I legit thought you were Bloodboots from Brothers Sun -Genghis Khan’t -you’re going to be okay -"Odd Job's younger brother, No Job." -Was Dr Strange mean to widdle ole Wongers? -Dawyne the pebble Johnson -"Instead of using 1k a month on roids, you could use it for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. -Like a bald cap. Or housing. - -Or just not do roids and see how that works out for you" -How did you go from 6 fig to broke? -"何とかなるだろう -がんばって!" -"Hey Uncle Iroh, what’s up?" -"Steroids,kids. Dont do em." -"You look like oddjob, the henchman in Dr No with the flying hat." -You don't have any emotions because you're a random NPC from Street Fighter. Go back in the crowd and get to cheering. -Your head looks like a tumour on your body -Best AI-gen real Ninja Turtle ever -Humty dumpty sat on the wall. -"No way you are 30, look pretty close to mid 40s" -Looks like Humpty Dumpty fell and landed on a protein shake -Come off steroids and you won't be so hostile  -You look like descendants of Genghis Khan but without the army or many wifes to fuck every day so you got only the worst this face and territories to rule limited to your bed size not even single horse to ride -It only gets worse… :/ -Looks like your head is on upside down. That would put anyone in a downward spiral! -"Bruhhh, every time I used to choose you as my Golden Eye character back in the day, all my buddies said I was cheating. . ." -"If you're lysdexic and you know it... wait, nevermind. just turn the sign around." -"U look like half of ur life got banned by supercell. Ayo bro thinks he s the chicken nugget from the lays bag. U look like ur head stayed 24/7 for 3 days in a washing mashine, then u brushed ur teeth. Im not very good at roasting bro... :(" -Human butt plug. -Dude looks like a sumo wrestler and a family disappointment all in one -comment -Insomniac? So you’re saying that not even you want to sleep with you. -Emily Bland -"Holy shit beauty sleep does matter, you look like my grandfather's sack" -How are you an NPC in your own life?! -"Have you tried melatonin? - -That should be sufficient enough to piss you off more than these other comments." -You dress like you make hip hop dancing videos for moms in the 80s. -"That smile screams, ""I like to crop dust""" -"Must be hard going to sleep, knowing that you’ll be waking up as that" -"You are so plain and boring that if one of the 9 pictures of you was you naked and fingering yourself, I don't think anyone would have slowed down while flipping through them." -The lack of sleep is sure taking its toll. You look like a 40-year old that works at pottery barn -"You didn’t make my dick soft, you made it retreat" -Everything’s NOT going to work out -Have you tried feeling sleepy? You're welcome. -how was the your 10th 27th birthday party? Do anything different than your last nine? -Willem-ina Dafoe -The queen of wiping back to front -"whoever made that comment about me looking like a Swiftie that was literally the most offensive one, you were right to delete it gtfo" -I bet cashiers feel bad when they ask you if you want bags today. -"""I need to feel something"" - - Too bad it won't be good dick" -Your smile has the facial posture of a baseball glove squeezing a ball -The teacher that has sex with her high school students -Dam girl you look rough -You could use some beauty-sleep. Maybe a 5-year coma? -I would hide you under my floor boards even if you weren't Jewish. -You need to get a grip on reality. It should be no problem with your man hands. -"You say you're an insomniac, but I'm betting it's everyone around you that's exhausted." -You sure know how to flatten out a sweater -I can see right through that smile at how truly empty you are inside. -"Also probably a half-dozen diagnoses, several vague and evolving dietary restrictions all rooted in a crippling lack of self confidence that is probably unjustified, but you use as a reason to drive others out of your life." -I wouldn’t be able to sleep either if I had to see that in the mirror every day. -I can smell that you are high maintenance -You could certainly put me to sleep. -You look like you would own a knick knack store but it’s just your house that you leave the door open for customers and have prices on all your household decorations. -I started to nod off after pic 2. -Even Freddy Krueger praying this bitch stays awake... -Well yeah- you probably haven't felt anything since some bartender named Dennis was raw dogging you out back by the dumpster. Did you have to pay him for the meth or was it complimentary? -On your 4th pic you can see your vibrator you left on your bed. -Bet she puts margarine on undercooked toast -"Honestly I’m sure you’re very nice, but those turtle necks are awful bro" -kinda early to dress like a spinstress -??? You must get plenty of sleep after you polish off that box of wine every night. -Really?  Because it looks like you're getting a full 8-hours sleeping face down on a gravel driveway. -Do you feel bad when you make a onion cry? -Your smile and clothes are so lifeless people confuse you for one of the mannequins when you go shopping at JC Penney. There's more color in the antique photographs in the store you took a selfie in than in your clothes or house. -"i have less hair on my arms and I'm the missing link, jesus f christ" -A belt sander with low grit sandpaper would do. Up to the hairline. Perfect. -Most people's chins are much smaller than their forehead. Good on you. -"Your face is giving me trouble sleeping, too." -I was gonna write a good roast but fell asleep while scrolling through your photos. -Claw-like hands and hairy arms. You're like a very boring cryptid -I bet your shit looks just as tired below the belt lol -"Damn, she roasted herself better than everyone else… Bravo" -"When a prolapse anus counts as a ""disstability ""." -Can I borrow your chin to level out my workbench later? -You look like a real life female version of quagmire. -"Everyone you know groans and eye rolls whenever you call, text, speak or even breathe. - -They’re all sick of your shitty failures." -You look 10 years older than me and im 34. I also used to smoke crystal meth regularly and do heroin -Every photo looks the same -Is pushing your bed into a corner an admission that there's never going to be anything other than your dozen cats sharing the bed with you? -Your thumb looks weird -"God said, lets raise those lips on the Y axis a little more on the Nintendo Mii creator." -Definitely the before model on an anti-aging commercial -"Your kitchen is covered in ""live, laugh, love"" signage" -You look like the trans version of Split -"im 33 year old man but fuck me, you look 40+ for me on those photos. i have 60yo aunts looking younger xd - -and from your eyes i can definitly see you are nothing cool to hang around, chaos - -your face expression reminds me of a psychopath - -ty but no ty i remind solo XD" -"Why do you look older then me? -I'm 38, smoker since 19, and homeless for years until recently." -Whomever told you those glasses looked good on you secretly hates you -do you wear glasses to have a personality? -"I don't know how you're an insomniac.  - - -I only looked at 3 of your pictures and fell asleep. " -you WERE 27 in 2004. -You look like beige wallpaper. -Give up the meth. That shit is starting to ruin you. -"Good Lord! You look like you put a paper bag on your head before you masturbate, just so you don't catch a glimpse of your face in your phone!" -I normally come here to jerk off to depressed women… but that thing is not doing it for me. -I feel like you have a weird collection of cat turds -27....u mean 37 right... -Why don't you just pick up some ZzzQuil when you refill your Prozac? -A pointed hat and a broom would do the trick. -I tried to look at all your photos but I fell asleep…. -"Oh another joyless sex insomniac, a day of multiple orgasms will make you sleep like a baby" -Chronic idiot too from the looks of ya. -Are you sure you're not 37? -All the spice of plain cold spaghetti plus the arm hair to rival any Turkish man. -"You look like you sleep with puertoricans, and when they’re not comfortable agreeing to race play, you claim SA." -How many years have you been 27? -"If you put ""35f"" I would've believed it. Get some rest holy shit" -It's dress to impress not dress to depress -Why does each photo look like a different personality? They weren’t joking when they said they were letting everyone out of the asylum. -If Erkel was a basic bitch -You look like you shop at a thrift shop that only sells old walmart clothes -Unresting bitch face -I’d swipe right -I can why we don’t back have any back shots dude in second pic is not impressed -They call it beauty sleep for a reason -Have u tried Lithium? 💊 no really have ur Lithium levels checked.. that fixed my insomnia zzzzZzzzz -The most basic of basic white girls… -"It’s like children of the corn, except children of the thrift store" -I believe the insomnia part. I wouldn't sleep with you either. -37 -the selfie at buffalo bill's boutique is the single worst decision any woman has ever made with a cell phone -Its been years since you've been on an actual date -You look like the trust fund ran out about 10 years ago. -Your face gives off the I need to speak to the manager vibes -"Every picture resembles when people ask me how im doing? Great, but my anxiety got me fucked up." -Them knuckles... dead giveaway. -Someone has been skipping their beauty sleep. -You won’t even sleep with you -I'd let you not sleep next to me. -You’re trying so hard to look and stay 20 but it’s so clear that you’re practically 30 -Bells Palsy? -You dress like an insecure meerkat -Do you stay up all night thinking about the marriage you’ll never have? -27? You look like a solid 39 -"Please, no one ask her about astrology." -You look like the first version of Lady Elaine Fairchild. The one that Mr. Rogers thought looked too unpleasant. -You're so boring we're having a hard time giving you what you what ......Attention. -Insomniac huh? Somebody get the mallet! -"You might sleep better if you stopped using amphetamines, Methany." -To be honest you look like a very sweet school teacher that appears in the news for having sex with one of her boy students. -Go buy another piece of decor or thrift another upscaled sweater. I'm sure it will fill the void -Never seen anyone look so sad and happy at the same time. -“I need to feel something” is probably the line you give every guy at closing time until one agrees -That's a five head -"You meant 47, right? RIGHT?" -Your guy keeps wishing to feel somehting when he sees you…..alas…..😶. -You misspelled 37 -You need to get a doctor to fix that insomnia. You've got the eyes and face of someone in their late 40s / early 50s. -It takes a lawnmower to keep that arm hair at bay. -"It's no wonder sleep is avoiding you. I would, too." -Sweater vests and duck face are embarrassed to be associated with you. -Insomnia checks out. Clearly not getting any beauty sleep. In a deficit really. -Walgreens sells face masks. -Im a chronic insomniac too. I go days without sleep. Shits ass -"If you can’t sleep, just flip through the nine pictures you made us look at. You’re so boring I was dead asleep before pic 5" -You look much closer to 47 than 27 -Your chin proves women are infact worthy of combat -"Dude, I only needed ONE picture…." -You won't even sleep with yourself. -Listing bad sleep habits as the number 1 most interesting thing about yourself is very sad -I guess you aren’t kidding about your insomnia - you look 37 -By age you are too young for me. By looks you are too old for me. -Hey Ciri how can I get rid of my boner -Vanilla. Everything is vanilla. -Pretty accurate to me for a 47yr old. -She is a hot mom next door who's into cats only -Insomniac but your face makes me want to sleep forever -You seem nice -27?? Lots of city miles... -"Damn, you’ve lived a hard 27. What are you a pioneer woman?" -How long ago was your 27th birthday? or is it the 27th anniversary of your 27th birthday? -This is how Quagmire would look if he had a sex change…or just grew his hair long…giggiditty -"You claim to be 27 but you give off that Boomer feel with your looks. Like, you're between 50-60." -27 or 57? -"No need to be insomniac, the monster under your bed is more afraid of you than you're afraid of him" -You sure do have a lot of confidence to take that many pictures of yourself. Know If i looked like you I dont think id even have any mirrors -your jawline is like if regan was a marionette -You're lucky that you can stuff all of your baggage into those giant bags under your eyes. -You look like someone who would call up their boyfriend from 4 years ago and say they are the father of your 3-month-old baby -Are you 13 or 50??? -"Don't worry, beauty sleep probably wouldn't help you anyway." -"Just because nobody wants to sleep with you, that does not make you an insomniac" -"Nice thumb. - -Not. Your thumbs are shit." -Teacup chihhuaha head -You sure you’re 27? Because you look like a 37 who hasn’t slept -She looks like an Indian woman in two pics. -Your hairstyle belongs on Lord Farqaurd. -You were 27 in the 90s… -Stay off the meth chump 🙃 -With all this jaw you could've starred at Jaws -"With that stupid smirk pose, you look like a clown" -Are your teeth like a funny colour? -"You look pretty, ugly" -Your an old soul isn’t a compliment it’s truth 27 my butt -Hairy ass arms -Are you related to Pinocchio? Cause damn that nose is long -Your smile lines are deeper than your dreams -27 going on 45 -Molie molie molie molie molie -Meth addiction is different than insomnia. -Have you tried sleeping? It looks like you need it -In the fifth picture you look like chad squidward. -"Those cheekbone implants are pretty obvious, just sayin'." -You’ve got some city miles on you -I can only assume you must feel embarrassed all the time -Is your face stuck like that? -You look like a grandma -"So, does not sleeping make you age twice as fast?" -you're getting old -Not to mention multiple personalities. Every picture is a different person. -Bro you’re def pushing 43 easily.  -27? Oof -"The only sleepy thing about you, is your left eye." -That’s a rough 27 -"Ofcourse don't sleep. People appreciate a sleeping beauty, not a sleeping ugly toad! 😂" -Don't even have to buy coasters anymore with that forehead -You look like from age 20-40 at once -"Just cause no one wants to sleep with you, doesn't make you an insomniac" -"It's doing you no favors, you look older than me at 46." -"Cute, but there must be a type o. Gotta be 37 not 27." -Holy shit the teeth reveal was a shock after all the hard line smiles -Insomnia: so that’s why you look 54 -Ugly -even you don't wanna sleep with you -"You should try to sleep more, you look tired" -27 going on 70. -27 + ? -* it puts its pinky in it's mouth* -27 for the last 7 years right ? -"I can hear your vocal fry through the picture. - - I'd be willing to bet money that you sound like ""The Grudge"" when you talk." -27 going on 37 -"9 fucking images, how insecure can a person be?" -You look tired have you tried sleeping? mahhahaha. -Fiona Apple if she got attacked with a post hole digger -I’m going to think about you when I’m not trying to cum. -Methamphetamine usually causes insomnia.. -"OP Just ask yourself if you want to have sex with yourself. - -You'll automatically respond with ""no sorry I'm much too tired"" and fall asleep immediately." -You don't seem happy thats all i gotta say -You actually look like Debbie Downer -you're gonna be an incredible mom to some sad beige children -I hope you fall off the chair -Please get some beauty rest -are you an insomniac or just on adderall? -I’ll have you text me. I’m ugly enough to make you feel suicidal. -White women age like cabbage in the sun -Emily Subtle -Live. Laugh. Lonely. -"Idk maybe I'm too nice for this, but I think you're lovely. Is it a roast that I feel too badly to roast you?" -Cute af with a forehead designed for dick measuring -Whose auntie is this? - You’re really cute and seem like a nice person -"I'm never roasting, only toasting. - -You are beautiful, queen!" -To beautiful for a roast...sorry. -youre beautiful -I can fix her  -Hairiest arms on a female. EVER. The cut scars must be on the abdomen. -Definitely a lib -"I know this is a roast you sub, but you are very cute. There is nothing here to roast…" -You’re beautiful -Wished you made noises so the Alien creatures can eat you -"Loves hiking, reading, and tchotchkes." -Redpillers whole “wall” theory is starting to make sense. -"Your Tesco meal deal is a ham sandwich, bottled water and ready salted crisps" -You look like Tina Fey if she had that weird scar on both sides of her face instead of just one. -"Although she couldn’t get any sleep, - -None of us here can hardly keep, - -Our eyelids from drooping. - -Don’t think of her pooping, - -It’ll remind you of that anally prolapsed sheep" -Defining insomniac by going to bed at 1130. You’re so badass -"You are either 13, or 90... pick one" -bangs draw attention away from your fangs -You would be decent if you didn't smile... why do you look like that when smiling you look like the anonymous logo -"I see you walking down the isle, I'm standing between you and my kids." -Sometimes you look 12... Sometimes you look 50 -Waw@× -I'd be scared to death of falling asleep if I looked like you too -You look like if wine drinking in the bath was a sport. -You look like the type of girl who makes a tik tok account to post your best queefs. -You have the look of somebody who is burdened with an ‘impossible fetish’ that cannot be satiated in reality. It keeps you up at night. -second pic is giving me a headache -I can only imagine what that face looks like from the inside! -Losing sleep because in just 10 years you’ll be a washed up old maid. -I would be insomniac too if I looked like this -I wouldn’t be able to sleep after seeing that in the mirror either. -27 looks different when your 41 -Wearim them overalls we know you ain’t “felt something” for a very very long time… -If I looked like you I would want to be asleep and miss as much of real life as possible too. -You look like you live off a steady IV drip of Starbucks -You run the only OnlyFans page that pays dudes to subscribe. -That second picture looks like you are McGrubers younger more special sister. -You are the best ad for beauty rest. -"Holy shit. I finally understand the importance of beauty sleep. - -On a related note, you look like all four of your kids have gone through college and ditched you, and now the only excitement in your life is the fact that you'll be shipped off to the nursing home in a few years." -Them Bayangz look defeated -I wouldn't be able to sleep if I looked like you. -one of the sleepiest looking people ive ever seen but an insomniac. looks can be decieving i guess. -"Your insomnia seems to be catchy, 'cause JESUS CHRIST this post is going to keep me awake all night." -comment -Bald and dreads? Bro you’ve roasted yourself already. -You look like if Korn added a tambourine player to their lineup -You look like you would go to a bowling alley just to smell the shoes -Manson without the family -wow its crack sparrow -Bro has been an extra in every Netlix cult documentary ever made. -You just KNOW this guys smells like piss -"Couldn't afford Burning Man this year, huh?" -You put the sad in whatever a sadhu is -I’m sure you’re “choosing” to be celibate with this approach too lol have fun señor hairy palms -Renouncing your worldly life from your iPhone 6. Namaste away from this dude -What the actual fuck are you -Mf looks like he has lengthy opinions on why not to use handsoap. -"This dude looks like what Jesus would have if he had given up. - -Also, keeps wearing that hat, bro. Lots bald men look great, you’re just not one of them. " -"You're the guy who passed out that poorly-xerox'd socialist newsletter on the street this morning, right?" -6 years since becoming a Florida Man -You look like you tell people deodorant is a myth -"You look like you try to pick up chicks out outside the battered women’s shelter, and then scream at them about what a nice guy you are when you get rejected" -"You’re like 40, time to grow up and stop trying to piss off your white collar dad. Also Phish sucks. You look like the kind of guy to buy Doc Bronners but never use it." -"Young, bald, white dreadhead 33 year old thinks he’s some variation of a monk, turn the fucking record over. There’s like, 8 million more of you and the working/non gold bricking people in California/oregon/Washington are getting tired of stepping in your shit on the sidewalks" -Captain Jack spar-some change? -"PSA: Rubbing that patchouli oil on your scalp is not, in fact, going to help you grow your hair back." -"You preach love and kindness, and then steal your friends pack of cigarettes and lighter, and ask for rides everywhere but never offer to pitch in on gas or you disappear when your friends are in need." -ZZ rock bottom -Man did everything he could to avoid a job. -I bet they can smell you from Valhalla. -Davy Crockett of shit -"Great, another white monk." -Your hair is upside down -Is sadhu new age speak for “homeless”? -When you rub a bottle of piss and the genie pops out. -"We get it, you like drugs, no, I don't have any. No, you may not borrow my phone. No, you may not come to my house to crash for a day and take a shower." -No one is fooled when dudes with bad hair join religions that require head coverings. -"Your best virtue is that you were smart enough to reject the world before the world rejected you. - -You also get bonus points for getting thousands of people to Google what the hell a ""sadhu"" is." -I cannot wait for your Netflix cult documentary to come out. -My phone smells bad just from scrolling through these pics. -So deep and spiritual. So much wisdom you've gained by living off of your parents trust fund on salon-styld dreadlocks. There is no foreseeable future here where you pick up a sexual assault charge for preying on women with mental illness with promises of enlightenment and bipolar curing blueberry juice. -They have programs for the homeless you know? -Couldn’t just be a normal white man could you -Jack sparrow has fallen on hard times -Captain Crack Sparrow -"“Im telling you man people have been using urine therapy for centuries. It’s a long lost secret western medicine doesn’t want you to know about right up there with taint sunning and ball tapping rituals” - --probably this fucking guy" -The homeless are getting creative these days. -Mirror Mirror on the wall who is more spiritual of them all. No journey can pull out narcissistic love you have of for yourself. -Even your dog passed out from your B.O. -Are Sadhu allowed to have cell phones?  I thought they renounce all worldly possessions.  Pretty obvious you've renounced soap -First pic is from a Vietcong prison circa 1974 -Once you go Sadhu we don’t want you backhu -Bro must be enlightened: went to India and found Reddit -"Anyone who takes this religion even remotely seriously would not be posting on the ""roast me"" subreddit. Like I don't even want to make fun of you - this is weird behavior. Please skip to the part where you get bored of larping and find a really, really good therapist. - -Also bitch you got predator dreads and I'm not talking about the movie." -Looking like that you could never be a HAPPY-hu -You look like one of Chevy Chase's disguises in the movie Fletch. -"A sadhu seeking validation on social media using technology. Riiiiight…. - -What a poser. You are in love with your own image. - -PS, hippies smell." -You pronouns are SAD/YOU -"There ain't any pegs left, bro. Get some hair implants and reintroduced back into society, hippie." -Your beard looks like you stole it from Party City -You look like an Amish man who ate a bunch of mushrooms during his rumspringa and tried to go back to his village to spread the gospel of psychedelics but ended up just being ostracized from the community. -Appropriation says what? -Even Indian people think this dude reeks . -Are Sadhus basically shut-ins that were forced to give up the privacy of mom's basement for being publicly religious and changing little else? That's what I'm seeing here. -Sadhu? Is that like an incel but short for SAD HUman instead? -"If sadhu means burden on society, then you achieved your goal." -"You were great in Fletch! - -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JL8Ai9f-L8k" -"The personification of everything terrible about white people. Even though this guy thinks the opposite as an -“enlightened” individual." -The final boss of cultural appropriation. -Seems like you have got a lot of attachments in this world for a Sadhu. -YOU SHALL NOT PASS a piss test -He smells like regrets and bad decisions -Wouldn’t be the first time you had something done to you involving a pegging! -If cultural appropriation was a person -I don't even mind the shameless appropriation of other cultures but your dreads look like shit and we all know it. -TRUSTAFARIAN -A homeless guy lugging his worldly possessions around isn't a Sadhu. Sadhu's are only supposed to give up trying to achieve the first 3 Hindu goals of life. Looks like you've given up on all of them. -You’re absolutely insane… -I’ve never seen a guy have both a skullet AND dreadlocks. I’m sure you pass out copies of the Bhagavad Gita at festivals. -You have a smart phone yet claim you are part of ascetic order. How did you manage to fuck up being poor? -6 years ago is also the last time he showered -You’ve already kicked yourself down the job is done -"The dreads, beard, beads and headbands are all props to your shallow self centered need to be unique. But all of those things put you into a box. You’re a stereotype with the material attachments that you use to project an image of what you want others to think you are. This is why you are on Reddit of all places asking strangers to be cruel and read you, opening yourself to cruelty and attacks. Which makes me question if you’re actually happy. Because why would you open the door to emotional masochism?" -r/whatisthisbug -Look like you should be carrying an Ak-47 and suppressing women's rights -"Sadhu, the final stage of incel-ism." -"It better provide some sort of virgins in the afterlife deal, chief" -You are the third in charge at the local homeless camp -Being that visually unappealing sure comes natural to you. -You smell like patchouli and the underside of my balls if I hadn’t showered in three months. -Since when was Rasputin a Rastafarian? -You look like Asmongold from India. -"Gandalf, you really let yourself go." -"Hair transplant is about 700usd + the flight to turkey 500usd equals your chance to be normal again. Also, go shower" -Kick you down? You already look like you are buried up to your nose in something. -Looks like the only peg he has left is the one he uses for a leg. -You need to become anonymous -You look like a character that would offer the most ridiculous sidequests in a GTA game. -Sadhu? Is that a grown up dumpster baby? -"Man, people are going to have a field day with you here" -"You are making it too easy, it takes the fun out of the roast." -What did you buy with the quarter you picked up off the green in Happy Gilmore? -Qanon sadman -"""Sadhu: A Hindu holy person that has given up the worldly life""........proceeds to use cell phone to post to Reddit. You're doing a great job bro....." -"I don't know what a sadhu is, but now I know that not only do I not want to be one, but I don't want to see, know, or be near one. Congrats, you've just turned me racist or something." -Please spend another 6 years on top of that mountain. The world is not ready for your new masturbation technique. -"Dear BALD JESUS CHRIST! - -God, why have you forsaken him????" -"If you're gonna culturally appropriate to make up for the fact you couldn't forge your own path for yourself, you may as well go ALL IN BABY." -"Temu Jesus, is that you?" -this is the reason i’m in this sub. -This is Jack Sparrow if Amber Heard had won the lawsuit. -"Remember seeing you outside that closed k-mart with your 2 cart garage asking people a dollar for a sandwich, but you would never show the sandwich." -The love child of Bin laden and jack sparrow wearing princess Jasmin’s dress .. wtf -Damn you took that last breakup really hard -If meth and Pauly shore had a baby -You’re still a universal joke that you’re not in on. But enjoy wiping your ass with leaves. Very special. -Renounced the world and vanity but check me out on Reddit -It looks like everything you do you do it because you know someone is going to take pictures of you -Mate no fucking way you are same age as me with a head of hair like that -You look like your parents change the subject if someone asks about you. -The kind of guy to start a cult but still struggle to get pussy. -Turn it upside down and he's being born again....🤣 -"Sadhu - You misspelled ""lock up your stuff because this guy is lingering about""" -Is sadhu like a new level of unemployment? -Your hairline is the only thing that desires absolute freedom. -"Does becoming a sadhu mean “realizing I’m unable to hold a job, taking care of my personal hygiene and relating to other people, but pretending it’s a spiritual thing”?" -Poor guy… His only friends are the starving lice that live in his dreads and dine on the excrement that he rubs into his “hair” to help the dreads become thicker. -Your rich parents are so very proud. -"The idiom is, “knock you down a peg” you chrome dome genetic reject." -"black people have Afrikan Locs, yeah, white people have dreads... that shit look dreadful" -“…so I ran up behind ‘em with a hatchet.” -"No roast here. Good on you mate, my cousin is bald and has dreadlocks and looks awesome when hes wearing a hat. Do what makes you happy, looks like a awesome part of the world" -"Be honest, you did all that bc you were angry that you were balding" -R u Radagast the Brown or something -First Sadhu on the internet. The others gave up their worldly belongings and activities. -"These trustafarians are getting out of hand, they’re spreading to India" -"Not a roast, and my comment may be blasphemous not being one lol, but is having a Reddit or phone even within the realms of this lifestyle?" -Bet the sadhus didn’t have to tell you about the celibacy vow before you applied. -No more pegs to kick you down -You look like Trevor from GTA 5. -My mom always taught me to never kick a man when he's clearly at his lowest. -"Bro, could make some real $$$ in India. DM me, I've the management team.😂" -Avatar: The Last Hair Surrender -Lives in nature because you don't have neighbors. Whom you are legally to inform that you touch kids -"Captain jack sparrow is more like it, I know it’s supposed to be a roast, but let’s be real. How many baddies do you pull a day?" -I guess that's the new way of saying homeless 😂 -Always wondered how to draw giving up. This guy is the Norman Rockwell of giving up. -"I really understand the hair that you loss, I wouldn't want to be near you either." -You look like you host the Robert pickton fan club -The weight of your locks is pulling off the hair at the top of your head… -Even Shiva doesn't want to hang out with your bald ass. -No chance this guy is the same age as me -You look like there’s a hierarchy to your imaginary friends -"Dude has renounced the worldly life, except for when he wants to post on reddit with a cell phone. He sure as shit doesn't make exceptions for hygiene." -Sad fool -Knock you down a peg from where? Rock bottom? -You’re like what a leader of a sex cult looks like… but without any followers to have sex with. -Does Sadhu stand for sex offender where you’re from? -Time for a game of 'Homeless or Hipster'. -Congrats on figuring out a way to fuck trust fund kids out of their money. -I can smell your photos -So it's been 6 years since you walked down my street checking car doors? You can't hide Zack I will find you -I need to take a shower just by looking at these photos. -One could fail a drug test just by looking at you -"A white dude who is claiming to be this, doesn’t need to be knocked down a peg. He’s already in the negative. Tool." -Hatfish -"That’s a funny way of saying ‘gave up, stopped working, and stopped showering’." -clearly you are I love wit the idea of yourself as a sadhu... nothing but ego and spiritual materialism -I appreciate that you showed us all of your personal belongings in these pictures. It gives us more source material. At least it would if you owned more than 3 bead necklaces and two shirts. -That dog looks old and dying and it’s not even close to being the worst smelling thing in that pic -"Let me guess, you're part of some sort of folk punk band" -Looks like he been jumping out of trees yelling huzzah at ren fair patrons for 6 years. -Even your fleas are ashamed to be seen with you. -Hey. I’m not roasting you. Come to Thailand and become a Theravada monk. It’s better. -Must be nice living off mommy and or daddy’s money. -You look like Chris Mckandles right before he died on that bus in Alaska -You got scammed bro. -I can smell the patchouli thru my phone. -6 years since your last shower -"Every Hindu, Sikh, and Buddhist’s worst white nightmare." -"You're part Mongolian, part falcon, and part owl" -You look like Baba Ram Dass's Brillo-Pad -This dude wipes his ass with pine cones and you think y’all can roast him -"A side of dreadlocks, please." -Ok where’s swamiji -Jesus christ keep the hat on -Osho from temu -Just accept that you can’t grow a beard. No reason to go to the lengths of gluing your pubes on your face. -Last one low key looks like jack sparrow -Hey look! Rob Zombie posted 7 pics of his taint! -You have dreads *and* you’re bald? Bro pick a struggle -So what does your dad tell people you do for work because he's ashamed of who you are? -A sadhu is a person who has chosen to live life apart from or on the edges of society to focus on your own spiritual practices…. Guess that hasn’t worked well and figured you would jump back into regular life on Reddit?! -Bald with dreads is certainly a decision of all time -I bet the back of the ROAST ME sign says “The end of the world is Nigh!” -Sure... Get your spiritual discipline through reddit comments -Your hats work harder than you do -"Please in all ways - spiritually, mentally, sexually, etc — please never, ever interact with anyone I care about. - -Thanks." -"33? In what, fucking dog years?" -You no sadhu. That beard is way too clean for someone who has given up all maaya -"Was definitely in the capitol on Jan 6th. - -Once people started getting busted, he went to the party store and got this dreadlock cowboy hat disguise - -co-opting culture further, he now calls himself the White Sherpa." -Tell me you’re Israeli and wanted to escape military service without telling me you’re Israeli and wanted to escape military service 😂 -Who knew the Dalai Lama fucked a sheep and produced this piece of work... -Balding Charles Manson wasn’t on my radar for today -Good god man -Insert windowless van joke.. -Thinks he's original. Nothing original like smelling like BO and unbrushed teeth. -Halloween costumes on sale now -"Sadhu Sikhing attention. Sad indeed, you." -I feel SO much better about my life choices now. Thanks! -Why tf is some who gave up the worldly life engaging on social media Aka “the worldly life”? You’re a contradiction and I hope the dreads on your pp get tangled. -"Dude really. Get job and cut your hair and keep the weed smoking to night and weekends like it should be man??? Cmon really. Wake the @%#! up its NOT healthy to be fake and all hippy like and shit. Oh my God, damn" -"TIL ""sadhu"" means disgusting person who smells like syphilis" -Get a job -"Tibetan Pirat Monk, now I saw everything." -You didn’t have to convert just because they gave you a hot meal. -"If I were you, I wouldn't want to be reincarnated either" -You look like Jack Sparrow if he got sober and lost all his money. -Bro looks like a medusa relative -"Buddy, there are no pegs left, just people who make you feel cool about bad choices." -How's Nazareth this time of year? -"Just because your scalp's clear, doesn't mean your head is" -About the same time you lost your hair? I think that is not a coincidence…. -"That’s not a forehead, dude has a sixhead." -Murry from Stranger Things if he was in the Russian prison instead of Hopper. -"I didn’t zoom in on the paper he’s holding, but I’m assuming it says “Anything Helps”" -A “ sadhu “ that’s post on Reddit? 😂 -Fucking where’s baldo looking ass -A face only a Maha Kali could love. -I had no idea Rick Rubin could look more like a homeless guy but then you appeared -"How are you gonna claim to be Saddhu? -Your ignorance will forever prevent your enlightenment. -You have clearly skipped the teachings of the enlightened. -You cannot simply adopt the term Saddhu and then claim to be part of that. -12 years service in the ash pits of the crematorium. -Denouncing all possessions is also expected of you. Yet here you are taking and posting selfies while wearing sunglasses. -Surely the Hindu and Buddha gods must see you as a mockery and bless you with the bad karma." -"Whatever you are, you look like you do it so people will see pictures of you doing it." -My guy looks like a regular show character -This can’t be real. -you look like a homeless man and your dog is cute -Q-anon Sadhu -You look like the Hare Krishna and Scientology both rejected you. -6 years since he began looking for his hairline. The search continues -SADHU……Soap And Deodorant Have Use…..take note. I’d bet money you play the tambourine ina ska band. On your best day you smell like Fritos. -Sad -"Let me guess, you are anti kapatalista, barely take showers and you did a yoga course for 2 weeks and now are an expert." -If captain jack sparrow had a white brother who wanted to be Indian. -All that hair but none up there. -I don’t kick on those who are already down bad -You look like a NPC we meet in a game that sells oils -"Grant me my 3 wishes, wtf" -"Ok, you had your fun on reddit, now take the time machine and go back to the 60s." -This guy is a Monty Python Life of Brian extra. -"LOL, this idiot thinks he's a sadhu and thinks other people think he's a sadhu. You know this idiot was protesting against Corona control measures and vaccines and using those demos for his grift to get more people to buy his fake services." -Fletch? -Missing “man” in sadhu. -"You are more like SAD-Hu -( I am sad for those who dont get hindi)" -sad u -You look like you have allegations but then decided to leave the country to become a “sadhu” -"Sup cult leader wannabe? - -Is this the Walmart version?" -Holy shit it's dirtier version of jesus! -I bet his scrotum is just a hackey sack -Tell me you are white without telling me your white -I’d call you Peruvian Jesus but even he didn’t look like a hobo that much and he literally wore rags at some point. -Sad who? -Sadhu? More like sad ho -Which crystals gave off the energy to make you wear a prom dress casually? -*Takes LSD once* -Just looking at your photos is giving me a B12 deficiency. -Thought this was a post from r/bald -"Idiots of the Non-Indian: ""The Curse of the White Wannabe"" - - Set sail with Jimmy Derp as Swami Jack Sorrow as he tries to navigate the hilarious waters of needless white guilt by posing as an ascetic Indian guru. A truley good romp through an entire faith that spans the globe from Los Angeles and Seattle all the way to India and back again. - - - You'll laugh your way through this pathetic attempt of one man's journey to discover his true self... an idiot." -"Ok, I looked up sadhu. Pretty sure you shouldn’t be on fucking reddit." -Fuck a cat-fish my man's a hat-fish -Pics you can smell -"Midjourney, please create me the remake of Midsommar, but smellier" -"All hail the living embodiment of the holy spaghetti monster! - -May you all touch his noodley appendage. -Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R’amen”" -"I’ve been to India dude. If you were a sadhu you’d be naked, hungry, and smeared with ashes. You definitely wouldn’t be taking selfies, eating out of your trust fund, and getting roasted on Reddit. Lol I try to be nice to people on the internet but this is pathetic. Also buy some fucking Rogaine." -"Ah yes, the American sadhu. When you think you're better than everyone but are too lazy to wash your balls." -"You became ""sadhu"" just to be a first class beggar in third world country didn't you?" -The dreads are supposed to go on top of your head. -"I’m 37 and you look ten years older than me. Whatever you’re doing ain’t working, homie." -You on Reddit? Say bye bye to your 6 year kãma streak. -2024 Guiness Book of World Records for the largest pubic bush. It’s consumed much of his body except for the tip. -Dude looks like shaggy after Scooby dies of old age and he can't find another dog that speaks -Dan Bilzerian in the gutters lately -Good to see trustafarians are still a thing. -The example used when teachers say weed is a gateway drug. -"All that hair, and you still had to hide your most prominent feature. At least it keeps your dome from blinding people during the day." -Wouldn't be the first time you were down for a peg. -This person was born in the 90s. You're roasting us. -You look like you cut the soles of your sneakers out so you can still walk barefoot around Walmart. -"the dreads aren't doing you any favors, you look culturally insensitive at BEST. if Rob Zombie couldn't make it work, you probably can't either" -Basically you're going to be doing the same thing you used to do in your trailer and smoke weed and scratch your nuts but now you have a title to it. -"Your asceticism must be to abstain from good manners if you're running around with a bluetooth speaker in public. Seriously, could you look any more touristic?" -Keep that hat on at all times -How many times have you been bummed in those 6 years? -Shows up to the Furry Party looking like a Tortise shell -Let’s start calling hobos sadhus to solve the housing crisis in the US. -You’re hair tried to escape reality and you just followed. -First picture looks like a micro penis peaking out of pubes. -Looks like a bunch of dinglings on a hemorrhoid -Bro. Effort to comb that shit over -There’s other ways to go about being bald. -"""Sadhu"" must be the non-binary term for ""Sad Human.""" -"You forgot the “m”, “a”, and “n” after “sadhu”." -Fulfilling moksha for this dude means finally washing his ass -Unemployment final boss -Literally flipping us off in the fifth picture. We’re supposed to do the roasting here! -SadHuManBeing? -Man is probably a really nice person. All just jokes 😂 -Nice sidelocks -"6 years a sadhu, 33 years a virgin." -Homie looks like he's all knowing and owns a petting zoo not a roast nice beard -I thought your face was upside down… -You could dip your beard in hot water and make a savory broth for ramen. -You look like a video game NPC who when approached triggers a cutscene and a mission. -Its dangerous to go alone.. TAKE THIS -As so much white guilt he became a indian man! -did you ever find wilson? -I'm more interested in what drove you to become a Sadhu. -"Good day to you, Rasputin. Please give my regards to the Tsar." -a sadhu more like a sad O -You look like you barely won the title fight with dysintery -You look like you unclogged your shower drain with your mouth -You look like the name bear grylls -The unvaccinated child of Jack Sparrow an the Una Bomber -Maybe stop walking on water and once in a while get in it? -"Ol' ""I died for your sins"" face ass." -You look like an escaped convict or mental patient that’s trying to get caught on Reddit but they’re actually glad you escaped and don’t want you back -Some people shouldn’t start smoking weed -"Congrats, not only do you look like someone that makes pesticide salesmen seem upstanding, but you've failed st being a sadhu by bring on reddit (can't exactly say you've renounced the worldly life but be utilizing the internet/technology)." -Wackadooo -You look like a red dead Random encounter. -"So nowadays, if you’re a total failure and you end up on the streets, you just call yourself a SaDhU and try to convince people that you want to lead this life instead of just saying “I’m too fucking lazy to work, that’s why I’m homeless and smell bad”." -Is your dog's name Wilson? Do you live on an island? -comment -"I hate to break it to you, you're still getting pulled over." -Choose a team buddy - He sits in the middle of the bus -Your pigment is abandoning you like it was your dad. -You look like my two year old started drawing you and gave up half way through -“It don’t matter if you’re black or white” - Michael Jackson -"Oh, congrates on your credit score rising!" -I can’t believe you’d post a pic of yourself wearing terribly done blackface -Bro has an n pass but is racist when he says the n word -Wasn't the exposed skin on the robbers mask supposed to tan and not the other way around? -When you haven't committed a crime in a while. -I refuse the low hanging fruit. You have a Donald Glover hairline. -That white privilege is coming in nicely. Few more years and you'll have to turn in that n-word pass. -You’re already roasted -Half of you knows your dad and the other half has a 400 credit score -Did your father go out for melanin and never came back ? -An oreo if it was a person. -Been sucking off Xenomorphs again? -I ordered well done but it's still pink inside. Send it back -Bros 13% innocent -My uncle has a cow with the same features -Looks like someone has already tried -That’s a really sick way of cultural appropriation -Bro give that dude his skin back -Racists have trouble with you -Did any other homeless guys survive the fire? -Looks like your mom's vagina was low on ink. -You gotta be either a miner or a chimney sweeper -“Tropic Thunder 2” looks awful -You got something where your vittles and eyes go -Never knew cum can stain the skin -"If you had red hair, you’d be Neapolitan." -What too much Little River Band does to a motherfucker. -This is what voting for trump does to a brotha. -Looks like you already were roasted and now peeling. -When did you start going straight and stop committing crime? -Kinda weird that god had you wear a mask and goggles when he was adding the color -I see your credit rating is improving... -When you haven't stolen anything in 6 months -"Wait a few more years, and you shouldn't have any trouble finding a job." -When you return the stolen goods….. -How many letters of the N word are you allowed to say -Law abiding semi-citizen -Officer there’s the white man wearing a ski mask! -I ain't roasting Batman -Do I shoot you or invite you over for a barbecue? -Bro out here lookin like a raccoon -Mammmmmyyyyyyyy -Did your parents run out of paint? -Your beard is dumb. -Wiggaboo -Chocolate Milk Dud -"Put the money in the bags, no small bills." -Looking like an inverse panda -MJ from wish -Its 2024….you cannot be trying to pull off blackface -Reverse panda -Neapolitan looking ass -You look like a good kisser -Are you allowed to say the N word or just like half of it maybe? -Looks like your last roast is starting to wear off. -"I’ll wait until you wipe that shit off your face to roast you, have some respect" -There’s a 50% chance this man’s a criminal… -Bro hasn’t shoplifted in a week -"Voted republican again, I see." -When you apply Nutella to your sandwich but don't even it out with your knife. -Tried to erase all 5 of his human senses with bleach -"Dude, let's talk about those fingernails." -It’s crazy how anybody can think of roasting you when even god gave up -"You're parents literally dug your ass out the mud. - -It would make a good rap bar, if nothing else." -Ma fucka could run a whole plantation himself -You need to cut them long ass shit infested fingernails. Now I gotta go shower after seeing the amount of dirt and literal shit you have caked under them bitches 🤢🤮 -Take off the ski mask 1st. -Bro looking like a twist cone on a hot day -You racist or oppressed? -bros textures stopped loading at 85% -You already been charred -consider it done. -"For fucks sake, cut your damn fingernails." -Bro is reversible Michael Jackson -Day 52 of not stealing: I'm noticing slight changes with my body and my credit score is gradually increasing. My father called. -When you’re eating ass and she sneezes -Slowly getting his credit score up I see… -Not roasting you brother. You're all good. -Looks like someone beat us to it -Dude's slowly turning into a Republican -I can’t roast you. Looks like god already did and took you out too early. -You look like a page in Michael J. Fox’s coloring book. -See everyone has good in them -"You are already roasted. By the way, there’s a casting call for aliens and you would be perfect for it" -I can tell you're working on improving your credit score. A couple more months and you'll be whiter than me. -Maybe if you took off that ski mask so we could see your face we could roast you effectively -You can only say half the n word lmao -You look like you didn't vote for joe biden. -"Based on your current trajectory, in two years you're going to be an Osmond." -Dude looks like he stopped stealing for a week -Credit score is going up. -God primed him and forgot to finish painting -When you don’t vote for Biden -It’s like you had white out on the end of some binoculars -"reverse michael jackson skin - -straight outta the trailer park - -He can't dance like MJ, but he can touch kids like MJ" -N word pass is about to run out on u -Call that shit black and mild -"""Wherever you go, I vitiligo"" is my favorite hymn." -Someone didn't learn the lesson of loving themself -My man's race is Camouflage -"I would roast you, but it looks as though you already have been roasted enough…" -When you haven't stolen anything in a while -Reverse panda 🐼 -"Bruh, he about ready to pull a Michael Jackson." -"Dudes got revitiligo, Uncle Ruckus wasn't the only one! - -Looks like it's late stage too, my condolences for your whiteness going away." -Roast you? You’re already charred. -Looks like you already roasted yourself. -HE'S A WHIGGA -Looks like you have been roasted by amateur cook who can\`t cook evenly. -Uncle Ruckus would like to swap conditions with you -Your credit score is slowly going up -"We’re supposed to roast you, not Robert Downey Jr on the set of Tropic Thunder…" -You missed a spot -In 15 years dudes gonna get cancelled for wearing black face -Patches -yo stop looking at barely sfw subreddits and find a girl of your own -Why is this dude in black face? -Could this count as black face? -If the bottom of a Bloomin' Onion was a person -"Cant roast you. Clearly, someone else already did that." -A human Rorschach test. -Okay Trudeau -Are you becoming a Jedi? (Because you’re leaving the dark side) 🤣🤣 -Put him back in for 5 more minutes. He's not done yet. -Are you trying to switch teams -He's like vanilla with the chocolate shell melted -Get black face the action figure (IT REALLY TURNS BROWN!) child support not included -Michael Jackson in process -Uncle Rukus had a kid? Damn bruh why you gotta reverse mask on -"Black face ain’t cool dude watch the news. -You’re the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude." -Legit can't tell if bro is losing the power to say the N-Word or gaining the ability to say it. -#OH NO MICHAEL JACKSON IS CHANGING BACK TO HIS ORIGINAL FORM 🙀🙀🙀🙀 -If you were my friend I'd call you ski mask -Bro could only say gga -"Bro you look great man even what I would call legendary. Rear even, ppl that roast you don’t understand how unique you are. Head up homie you gotta do something in this life try and change the world." -"I hate this reddit and don't know why it keeps being suggested to me. - -You look very handsome, - -I'd love to see a picture of you smiling. - -My mom has vitiligo, I get how hard the social stigma can feel. - -You're doing great, keep it up!" -Boy you were born roasted -I both do and don't want you as a neighbor. -Sorry about the vitiligo. -You look like a photo negative of Kung Foo Panda -It looks like you already were roasted... -neapolitan ice cream looking ass -Look at this racist wearing blackface -I think your parents left you soon after they started noticing you had vitiligo... -Does BLM accept you? -Is this a robbery? -You are still an igga -You look like a pandabear from the phantom zone -Cut your nails for crying out loud. -I hope you are recovering after acid attack -This is what happens when you’re not in jail and don’t abandon your kids. You turn white -Why the long brown and white face? -What do your homies call you? Gringger? -Is this what they mean by biracial? -Bet you loved 101 Dalmatians when you were a kid -Another replika -You a cow. -I thought it wasn’t appropriate to be in Blackface -Looks like you’re trying to do blackface. -Winnie Harlow Evil Twin -A tanning salon bed is not a good place to fall asleep -Here’s mud in your eye (to match the tones of your grill) -Fried chicken -"Sun burn just around the eyes, nose, and mouth must suck." -Michael Jackson Man newest member of the avengers -Bro using mask for N pass -Your parents told you what would happen if you didn’t take that Bat Man mask off. -Blackface is mot cool bro -Bro's DNA can't decide if it wants to be black or white. -Acid wash skin is so 2000 and late -Did you draw on that beard in MS Paint? -CatboyKami in parrarel universe. -Your shirt looks like a tote bag -You look like you’re about to rob someone -We’re you part of a MK Ultra experiment where they tried to create hybrids of Pandas and people with chocolate milk coloured skin 🤣😍 -Look like someone beat us to the roasting. -Looks like you've been half roasted -"Looks like you were roasted too long. Luckily we can tell the parts covered in tin foil - - -P.S. I also have vitiligo, most of the right side of my face and facial hair is white. I look like a bootleg batman villain when I wear a suit" -"Dude,don’t." -Look on the bright side. Your future is so bright you gotta wear shades -"It looks like you tried, but the oven shut off." -You've sucked so much dick that you have worn the black off your face. You have to be popular! -Looks like you're half done already -Roast you? It's well over time to take you out mate. -"You, sir, have already been roasted" -Fuck you reverse panda -I'm glad I'm not too late. Looks like you're still only partially roasted. -You already cooked -"I wish I also had white privileges, but getting an autoimmune disease is just not they way to go about it, bro" -"You are the textbook definition of black, white and read all over." -I can tell from this picture you got a bad credit score. - Half baked -When you see your kids 20% of the time -Let’s be nice can’t you see his god awful black face bros be looking like he got hit by a truck and the police shot him -Chess themed -Looks like the police did not care about the black face and still shot -Side effect of always going down on a white girl. -"When her dad says she can't date a black dude. - - - -Jokes aside you have some dope lines from vitiligo." -Bro has only 2 more swipes left of the pass -No need. Look roasted enough already. -"Mr Big to Mr Kananga - -*quite revealing!*" -"Congratulations on not stealing anything for 2 weeks, keep it up buddy!" -When bro didn’t steal anything for 2 weeks. -You look like Cleveland from family guy mid race swap -"When you want to experience just a little white privilege, but stay loyal to your homies." -You already a burnt marshmallow -"I hate to say it, but I hope vit-ili-go’s badly for you. 😎" -You know how when you use the color drop tool in MS paint it does splotches because some pixels are a shade off? Thats what happened when God was filling you in. -"You look already roasted, I don't anyone out us has to actually roast you more" -"on the plus side, if you wear a ski mask while doing crime, theyll be looking for a white guy" -"Bruh…you’re the equivalent of a shiny Pokémon. Rare af. Congrats on winning the lottery, my dude." -Strategically white for the balaclava -Only reason girls have sex with you is because they're afraid. -"""HEY! You can't wear a ski mask in a bank you... oh... sorry.""" -Damn uncle Rukus (no relation) finally gettin his wish -My guy came standard with a black ski mask… -Neither race wants you -Looks like it’s already been done 😬 -your white face is coming through -Ahhh the ole blackface routine is back -This a negative picture of a raccoon? -3/4 nigga -The winner of the worlds peek-a-boo contest. -"Turns out Michael Jackson was right, bleaching your skin is better than looking like that" -You gotta dip yourself one more time -Bro has discharge on his face -Least he don’t have to wear a balaclava -"It looks like, despite your best efforts, your credit score is starting to rise." -"In a ski mask, you’d actually look non-threatening." -Think someone already tried to do that but only got about 80% of the way through before giving up. -I cant tell if you started stealing or stopped. -When your credit score starts creeping up. -Bro look like a stale swisher 😂 -Your ceiling looks like shit. -Cows get BBQd sorry -"""We got a code black"" - Uncle Ruckus" -I bet you're fun when the cops pull you over -Got milk? -The next prime Minister of Canada ? -I think you missed a few spots -"Which member of Insane Clown Posse are you? Kind of Black, Steve?" -Your face is already half roasted. -"If you start stealing or make kid and abandon him you will heal up, rapping and eating watermelon chicken may also works." -Put on a balaclava. I just want to see something real quick. -Looks like you’ve already been roasted -He looks like reverse robin. Nibor. -Ahhhhhh I see you’re transitioning. -"what in the reverse raccoon, living in mamas basement is going on here.... I think this is the thirstiest 11 day account I've ever seen in the roast me section, you should know we see it all." -Fattie Harlow -Dude can’t decide if he want to be black or white -Were u wearing glasses and a face mask when the bomb went off? -Roast you? Looks like someone already tried. -his pigmentation is taking the underground railroad up to Canada -Bluds a zebra -"Well, look at the bright side, you never have to buy a ski mask the next time you rob a bank" -Uncle ruckus in his ideal universe. -Bro you’ve been roasted already -My man just got in from Hell week... proud of you. Now take a shower and get that shit off you. -You already look like you've been roasted slightly. -"Unfortunately, I can only roast the skin around your eyes, nose, and mouth." -Are you chocolate or vanilla? -You came preroasted -"If I roasted you any more, you'd be ash" -Already look a bit roasted to me dude -Ngl I feel like bro is sad reading these replies yall should be nice to him like yall did that little white girl who was talking about some she needs a reason to drink -Bro stopped stealing and is turning white now - congrats! -Neopolitan Nilla -You’re half way there! -Bro you can't do black face in 2024... -Bro is a fucking reverse raccoon -"Looks like someone already did, unevenly too" -This is what happens when Thanos snaps his fingers and the simulation crashes -You produce nappy milk -Already roasted -"https://avoidpuzzle.blogspot.com/?m=1 - -I made a game its pretty fun bet you cant get 200k points" -look like a well done bologna slice -"God already roasted you, bro." -Reversed racoon? -Refreshing to see there’s a little good in everyone -🤣🤣🤣🤣😩😩😩 -lookin like someone did blackface🤣 fr though vitiligo makes you look cool af -Roast ya? You’re already extra crispy. -All I see is a roast me sign -"So when you get locked up who's side you on, white or black?" -"Really bro, black face? Not cool." -"Bro, white liberals must hate you." -Blackface is just so 1993. -🙉 -Inside every black man is a white man trying to get out. -Reverse panda -Can't tell if the OP is being racist or reverse racist. -Nah you’re already half roasted. Momma tried to abort your ass early -Someone already has -"Dude the oven left you mid rare, mid overcooked." -Why do you hold your camera that low? So we can’t see ur small pp? -They already did…Roast me ! -I would but it looks like someone already tried to -i’m not roasting a burn victim -14% rights -Reverse Racoon -U look like a need to commit one more crime to unlock the full skin -"He tells the young kids, he is where chocolate milk comes from." -That must have been one hell of a sunburn. -VitigliNo -Tell me you haven’t stolen anything in a while without telling me you haven’t stolen anything in a while -comment -"You look like a virgin that's never been in a real life relationship, works at a gas station, & lives in Florida." -How is a 26 year old virgin Grandmother even possible?!?!?! -You know your phone is greasy as hell when yo pics start coming out like Bill Cosby gave me a drink 🤣 -I don't remember Hermes from Futurama getting a sex change... -binkini bottom ass fit bruh -"Well, you're dressed to attract moths" -You're single because no one knows your gender. -That dress is accurately predicting the progression of your already uninspiring breasts over the coming years -"It appears that you also \*live\* in the gas station bathroom... - -What makes it bad is when it's a gas station bathroom \*in Florida\* 😒" -Lauryn no Hill -If I ever had to imagine a Femincel it would have looked exactly like you. -You forgot to mention that you also have terrible taste in clothing. -your face/hair/glasses style makes you look 50! -You live in Florida. You’ve already been roasted enough. -"Aww, you'd be kinda hot if you didn't look like you." -"No one watches your only fans  - -They block it " -"You either gotta replace or adjust the glasses, right now they just make your eyes buggy ah" -You look like a grandma whose grandkids call meemaw -You look like if CJ from GTA was female -You’re never gonna be in a relationship. Buy your cats now!! -You look like one of the many characters in Nutty Professor played by Eddie Murphy. -There really isn't anything to add -I can fix only one of those problems 💀 -Florida Man. -Even the pearl necklace won't go near your face -"When I see virgin older than about 18, typically that means they haven’t come to terms with what kind of person is actually in their league. It’s past time to settle." -1930s meets 2024 -"Usually when a virgin says ""destroy me"" I comply. Not this time, pass." -"You look like one of those poophole loophole ""virgins""" -I see you have been fishing through Grandma's closet again. Make sure to put them back away with the moth balls when you're done playing dress-up. -"“I’d destroy you.” --The soap" -"26 year old virgin that says a lot about your personality. Any woman can slip and fall and land on a dick, but you can't seem to find one... 🤔" -"Ashy lip having ass. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Don't lick your lips now. I see you." -Martin Luther Queen -"After seeing you, for the first time ever I'm starting to think that there are more than two genders." -The new cast for the little mermaid is on! -"U didn't have to say the virgin part, we knew." -"this sub is scratching its head with this one because whenever it’s an old or ugly or fat woman the roasts are about her being old or ugly or fat, and whenever it’s an attractive woman the roasts are about her being a slut. - -But this is a young, thin, attractive woman, and we can’t call her a slut because she’s a virgin! oh no, what do we do?! - -Anyway, maybe you’re still a virgin because whenever potential suitors come over they immediately think of their grandma when they walk into your bathroom. - -if they don’t pass out from the smell of potpourri & cat litter first ." -It makes sense! -No shit you are from Florida. -Destroyed already with that bio -"Meant to be trailer trash, is actually swamp trash." -"Of everything you listed, I’m most sad that you live in Florida" -I read it wrong at first and thought they said they live in a gas station. -looks like you work at a gas station and the hotdogs are always missing -"On the bright side, you could change literally anything about yourself and it would be an improvement" -"You're in Florida and can't even get a Cuban man to date you? - -You must cook as terrible as you dress." -GTA IV hooker -Your hair looks like burnt noodles. -Wtf is that top… hooker Ariel? -I completely believe you are a 26-year-old virgin who works at a gas station in Florida and has never been in a real life relationship. -Two words: Diversity Hire -Ive never seen a black scrub brush before. -You look like you auditioned for the new little mermaid movie and didn't make the cut -Get your nerdy looking ass up out of here lol.. with them goofy as glasses you ain't gonna get no dik Noor puss lol. Get some contacts -"The self roast is strong here, so I guess just keep at it." -You look like every not-fun aunty -"No shit, you look like Steve Urkel. " -Black roast matters..lets roast her -Lesbian means you'll always be a virgin right? -"For sale: pink house, black shutters… needs a new roof … perfect starter home" -"Ok so, I don't care about the roast. What I want to know is how many DMs you got from people telling you that they'll show you a real relationship lol" -That's the only Pearl necklace you'll ever wear. No guys going to nut on your chest. -Are we not going to talk about the tits full of pearl necklace? -I can tell by how far apart your eyes are that your mother drank heavily while pregnant. -"Change your glasses, they don't fit you" -"Anti roast: you're doing just fine. Fuxk relationships, they're overrated and based on lies most of the time. Sex is bullshit and you can achieve more in that realm on your own, trust me..." -Wanna bang in the bathroom of your Wawa? -This is the wildest onlyfans advertisement I've seen all week. -You're me 10 years ago except hot. I can't roast you. Sorry dude. -You will start your sexual journey and proceed to get ran through by undeserving jerks. Then after a couple years you will say all men are evil bc of the poor decisions you made exploring your sexuality. -"Looking at these pics, I'm thinking hoarder. You've got more coats in your bathroom than most people have in their closets. - -BTW, dude you are totally not passable." -You are the plot for a really bad Kevin Hart movie. -What’s left to destroy? -bible thumper -I would rather fuck Whoopi Goldberg -Stop sniffing the 93 octane! -You look like Ursula trying to cosplay Ariel -Yeah right...the only thing that's a virgin is your nostrils and ear holes. -"Holy shit, with that blog, it sounds like you already destroyed yourself." -You look like you run an OnlyFans where people pay you to keep your clothes on. -"So, how are your grandnephews and grandnieces doing?" -Quit wearing a chandelier as a top -You look like Lauryn Hill watching white people buy her music. -"Your queefs smell like Popeyes Chicken, stupidity and ignorance with a hint of cheap perfume." -The only thing you’re getting up is this comment section.. -"If you dress like Velma, maybe you'll find a dick in a costume." -Your hair gives MJ immediately after his lit up vibes. Shave that nest off try again -"A virgin, you say? Nah, at the very least, you've had your cock sucked" -I would roast you except you already did that yourself -Come to minnesota and ill destory you with a night of sexual disapointment. -"No need to, life did already" -Imagine working at a gas station and never been filled up before! You must have a weird laugh and stinky feet to scare people away. -She already lives in Florida. I don’t think I could say anything to make her life any worse. 🤔 -You're 26 and still a virgin you roasted yourself -You look like you use your head to mop the floors at your job -The Miseducation of Poor-n-Chill. -Spike Lee daughter looking ass loool -Please wash the gas pump after you use it to pleasure yourself -"Unda da sea, unda da sea" -Don't listen to all this hate. Your pancake syrup is delicious -Good lord I haven’t seen a gas station employee in go isn’t from the Middle East since the 80s. Your life decisions have been the opposite of good. -Pixar’s Soul producers called they want their inspiration for the main character back for a sequel -You sure as hell dress like virgin -Do we really need to roast her? She already did all the work -Gas station... corner? -You look like a Nigerian princess scammer -Why she look like Tyler the creator got bitten by a hive of bees w that swollen ahh face -Goodwill called..they want that dress back -You meant to say you're an anal virgin working the corner at the gas station. Wrong sub hun. -There is absolutely nothing we can do that life has not already done to you. -"What are you a virgin? I mean, you shouldn't have a problem getting it.., I've seen people who hang out at gas stations & they will bang anything." -There is nothing wrong with the way you live your own life! Revel in your time... -Florida virginity means she’s only done anal -"You get an employee discount at that gas station? If so, we can knock two things off this list real quick." -Oh ima destroy you alright😩 -The amount of people who fantasize about fucking hermes from Futurama in a clamshell dress while being asked how much gas they want on pump 8 isn't very many? -I don’t need to destroy you; you did the work for me. -Nature already destroyed you. There’s no need for us to add more. -Are you Egyptian? Because you have built a soap pyramid behind your shoulder. -please for the love of god wipe your front camera. -Do you like fish dicks? -Definition of a Texas hooker that's been ordered from temu. com -You roasted yourself 🤡 -You look like you tell everyone youre a virgin by choice -"Your a 26 year old virgin female? Congratulations. You’re the last virgin on earth. Don’t rush into anything. Marry for love, have children. Be happy. Your beautiful. Young. I wish you the best. Be safe out there." -The only way I can destroy you is in bed. -Congrats on being the one black chick that didn’t get knocked up in high school -"If you work at a Florida gas station, a customer will destroy you more than we ever can. Have fun dying a virgin at a Florida gas station holdup." -You look like a single mother of 5 kids -Are you waiting for the third coming? or in this case the first. -"Judging from the outfit you're wearing, while you may be a virgin, you've worn many a pearl necklace" -yeah that title checks out -Life already destroyed you.. no need for more agony -"Do you know what ""virgin"" means?" -So you are unleaded? -That dress lost you every job outside of a gas station. Worked wonders for your fake relationships though. -Omg you live in Florida? You monster!! -I think life’s already destroyed you tbh -" -You must be a 26 old virgin for a reason..you probably have more red flags than a referee 🤔" -"That's what 26 looks like in Florida? - -What kind of disgusting chemicals are they putting in the water down there?" -The chest on your dress seems like your compensating for something -You cute 😍!! -"Fuck a roast, that dress with the pearls is gorgeous and you look very nice in it." -Will not roast you. You are sweet. -Was the picture taken in the gas station bathroom? -Your not that fast -"The only memorable thing about you is being from florida, and that's thank to the meme" -"> I live in Florida - -You saved the most depressing part for last." -"If you live in the Northern part of Florida, I can solve that virginity problem for you. 😈" -Living in Florida is punishment enough. Get out into real life... move to Seattle or something. -I have a suggestion about your situation .. Did aliens transition you without your knowledge? -No comment. -I'd love to destroy you -Greasy ass phone -There’s no need to roast you. I mean you have to look at yourself everyday in the mirror and see a 26 year old virgin that works in a gas station in lives in Florida -Tell me you hate yourself without telling me you hate yourself. -I'd destroy you -You live in Florida. Haven't you been punished enough? -Nah man life roasted you more than I can. -You for real bought that dress just for this post didn't you??? And then wrote roast me on the facking tag 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 -26?! -The last sentence is what you want to say to any customer at the gas station who accidentally grazes your hand. -Move! -"Well Ariel, working at a gas station is what happens when you fail your algae-bra." -Id say your life is destroyed enough without our help. Maybe you can can start to improve it by going to a retirement home and asking for more stylish grandma clothes later. -"> I’m 26, a virgin, never been in a real life relationship, work at a gas station, & I live in Florida" -"You get on a train in NYC like this, for two hours, 50 guys will be trying to get your number. " -Why baby your great looking -Let's get married lol -No need for me to say anything…you’ve already done your worst -She looks like the MC to every crappy horror movie that takes place in more southern regions of the US. -You kinda took the fun outta this one not gonna lie. -"Rest assured, any pics you may have posted online have not been masturbated to so they also to will remain virgins." -At least its still tight if you aint reamed it out with a dil -wtf are you wearing like wtf -Nah -If Gus Fring had a daughter -There is not much we can that Florida has not -U look like a man -How? -"No need, u did it urself" -I can see why -U pay people to join ur onlyfans -"I dont have to, you already live in florida" -I can never roast someone thats life is so drastically already roasted i would say you hit rock bottom in life but you already know that harshly i bet you and your mother are roomates and your dad only meet you two times and both times he was disappointed… the only thing you have to look foward to is your virginity but after loosing that then youll loose the one bargaining chip you have -"Your vocabulary sucks because you're not allowed to say ""climate change.""" -Roast you not a chance you look beautiful and I bet you are sweet. -Let me know you more than dis -"""THIRTYDOLLARPUSSAAAAAAY!""" -"Ugly Florida mf can't even find a real peice of paper - -(Too much?)" -Totally would though -Worst part of all that is “I live in Florida” lol -I like ur glasses :) -you’re very pretty -"On the bright side…. If you lead with the fact that you live in FL, then the rest of it just makes sense" -"How do you expect us to roast you when you already did with your post title, Ursula?" -Love that top! -Obviously -"Virgin, but not the first time OP has been covered in pearl necklaces..." -I thought people be saying these clam shells have pearls in them… these one just holding self pitty and depression -Florida. -"Way to go against the mold. I would have picked you for the boring old lady librarian who goes home to her house that's empty of everything except more books and too many cats. - -Instead you shot for the stars and now you're a gas station worker. In Florida too!" -I'll pay you tree fiddy -You're Alabama vampire. 300 years old. You steal hearts. Then eat them -No need to roast you. You live in FL. -"Being a virgin, I'm sure anyone with more than 2 inches would be able to destroy you." -You live in Florida? Thoughts and prayers. That's already pretty bad on top of your crappy life. -At least you were smart enough to keeo the receipt for that dress -"Can’t, the heat’s already done it" -That dress only looks good in flordia -And I'm 16... Nice try 40 yr old -Bless your heart -I can’t do it. You’re pretty and I like your top. -"""Destroy me."" -No, it's miracle enough you've managed to convince anyone to put that much effort into acknowledging your existence." -Didn’t need the caption to tell me all this -Raspusha on Wegovey ! -You probably talk like an expert about relationships on Twitter. -Anyone notice the ghost with white weavey dreadlocks in the mirror 🪞 -You didn’t have to tell us you’re a virgin. -So all day long you put a nozzle that shoots liquid into a hole and in your time off you’ve never once thought to reverse roles???? -"Well, that dress alone is the reason your life is the way it is…." -"Looks like you fucked this up big time. -I mean just look, broken everywhere. -Looks like a forklift smashed into it, but enough about your life." -"No need, you seem to have destroyed yourself. The dress helped." -You roasted yourself! -"I can fix the virgin part, but the rest will be on you, man. (Assuming that you are actually a man.)" -"Girl did you write ""Roast Me"" on a hair tie package? Can you not afford like...paper? Oh yeah, Florida who works at a gas station. Nvm disregard my question." -The addition of “and I live in Florida” has me dying. -"At this rate, this will be the only place you'll be able to use that phrase." -Show me them meth teeth girl -How bad do you act to be a woman is isn’t a virgin on purpose at 26 years old -"None of our efforts will come close to life and how it has roasted you. Also, why no relationship? Genuine question." -Man or woman? -you look like someone who thinks they are the main character -I’d smash. No cuddling though -"you live in Florida, I dont think I can come up with a meaner thing to say lol" -"Qué decís? Esta chica es guapa, tiene buen cuerpo😍, además de NO parecer un tío ni de lejos. Ya la quisierais mas de la mitad de los que la rosteáis" -You have the most unpleasant straight face Ive seen in a while 😐 -And you will stay that way. -At least ur cute -That hand writing says it all.. -"Why are you a virgin, I'd tap" -"By the looks of her closet in the second pic, I’m guessing that dress smells like a herring boat on a hot summers day. Good luck with the clam bake!" -"I would have never guessed, that there was a 26 year old virgin alive." -Is that a zombie broccoli phone case? -Not going to lie I would do the honors 😂 -Wth -You should probably be a lesbian because no man would ever want to touch someone that looks like you. -I think I know why you're a virgin. -Seems like you already did -When the drapes match the drapes. -Spent last week’s entire check on that outfit -"if someone says they've never been in a real life relationship, does that mean she canoodles with the corpse of her recent prey? with those soulless eyes I would 100% believe it" -Swamp Urkel. -If 'the vagina cleans itself' cosplayed as a loofah -Damn an incel woman in Florida? That is quite an accomplishment. -Well let me Introduce you to a seriously BBC -You look like that you will smell like you have cats. -A girl you can't get laid? You did all the work for us! No need for more roasts -Ain’t nothing left to destroy here. Clearly your whole life already taken care of that. -God bless Reddit. -You look like what chat gpt would spit out if I typed in your own self description -No thnx. -"I mean, you didn't have to mention you're a virgin. The photo screams that already!" -"You pretty,live and break out." -First you gotta love yourself before getting roasted -“Destroy me” is words you will new be able to speak to a man -She'll be the crazy cat lady in 6 months -"I'm a virgin, I've never been in a real life relationship, and work at a gas station. Here - tell these people something they don't know about me" -I think your beautiful -"A Fish Called LeWanda, the sequel." -You put the F in frigid -Your style says your 60 and an avid collector of vintage vibrators -That's not how this works -Nothing to roast. Save yourself for the one and go for your dreams. You’re extremely attractive. -Claudette from DBD! -What part of Florida -Stop stealing outfits from 1920’s era corpses! Gatsby won’t be calling. -I would have said your post Verbatim from the pictures alone. -"Looks like …. A 26, a virgin, that’s never been in a real life relationship, work at a gas station, lives in Florida and also moved there for the free abortions" -We know!!! No bio required -You hold your phone like a fucking maniac. -"Please, just get the fuck out of Florida." -Where did you get that hair? Walmart leftover bin? Your a virgin as much as Stormy Daniels only she doesn't have a herpes face to deal with. 😁 -We know!!! -You just need to find the right dirty blonde mullet Florida man. -"Was not necessary to say that you are a virgin, the dress and your hair speak this for you." -Are you a guy or girl? -I feel like I already did. -"Before I get on that ass, I’m curious about your outfit" -I think life has already done that -Sock or bra money is not allowed in my conscience store. -Dm me -You're dressed like you steal mermaid voices. -I knew there was something wrong. Florida is going to do way more damage than anyone here could do to you. -the most embarrassing part is that you live in the same state as enzo (I’m enzo) -You live in Florida... you've been punished enough -"And I am 50 never been in real relationship ( was all fake 😅) work in chicken factory and still virgin too, lets roast together baby 🤪" -Camel wides please -I think you're really pretty! (: -Maybe smile and you’ll get laid!?! -You already roasted yourself -Life has already destroyed you... What could we mere mortals possibly do to make it worse? -She's still waiting for the right pump to fill that tank.😉 -"City bus driver ,they don't get laid either" -"I live in Florida. Relationships are overrated anyway. Don’t feel bad. That shows you respect yourself and don’t give it away to just anyone. HMU if you wanna chat sometime. 420/710 friendly. - -Roast. You look like you’re about to get mad at me for saying something stupid -." -"All kidding aside, you look really sweet. If it makes you feel any better, I'm 24, a virgin, work in a factory, and live in Oklahoma. I dunno if you have discord or play videogames or anything, but, I'd be glad to be your friend." -I was going to rip you a new one until it said Florida at the end. Then I thought that there’s nothing I can say. If I say something it might make your situation better. -Gorgeous. Great lips and unsure eyebrows. Still very attractive but the penne noodle hair has to be cooked and fried off. I'd wine you. -"You are going to have a great career, for now I’ll take $20 on #4." -You destroyed yourself girl -Oh it’s Transgender. All this makes sense now. -"How can you possibly still be a virgin, when life has fucked you over so thoroughly?" -That light looking brighter then your future -"Judging by the sheer volume of mouthwash you have, I think I know why you've never been in a relationship..." -You spend to much time in ur head don't ya i mean just look at the old post u have on some of other the subs -You make Brittany Griner seem feminine and pretty. -I think Florida beat us to it. -Seems like you're destroying yourself just fine without us. -I'd hit dat -You look like you ask me about my late books from the library in elementary -I’m sure that even a young man like you will find love -This shit roasts itself -"Bullshit. Everyone knows Florida females come factory with ankle bracelet, dui car monitor and probation." -I guess even the Florida man decided it was better to stay away -"that head looks like it is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. it has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. it is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs , emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. god has no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. the fact that this ham monolith exists proves that god is either impotent to alter his universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom." -I think all of these things could’ve been determined without the caption. -"Damn, the little mermaid reboot is depressing" -Why you gotta bring up Florida like it's a problem😞 -I don't understand why people do this to themselves -Genuinely don’t have anything bad to say about u -You have an iphone and still take the SHITTIEST picture known to man. -Just wait you become a wizard -lil tecca -Come on bro don’t be so hard on yourself I’m sure you’ll find a chick -Whattttt no way -Definitely not Naples. -Bro back up from the camera we not playing fnaf💀 also when did they add a black animatronic? -You said it all -"You do know that ‘virgin’ means someone who has never engaged in intercourse and not someone who dresses like an extra in a nightclub scene in an Abbot and Costello movie, right?" -You might want plastic surgery or get more to try it make the mistakes look better -Aren't you roasted already lol -Your cute -"The heck! 26 and virgin?! Does that still exist! Yo I hope you get a great husband that deserves your value! Very impressive! But you've gotta look for the menopause🥲 Babies aren't made after that lol. I'm 21, boy, single, and virgin too by the way🧑‍🦯" -"Even going online has kept you a virgin, as making this post, you’ve still only fucked yourself" -I would but your face already is -26 ? you like 40 -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -"You’re a 3am eight, and an 8am three " -"Single mom, hometown bar fly, would go down on you for a basket of onion rings." -How come you didn’t go with Brit-Neigh as a user name? -"Nice beaver - - - - - - -Teeth" -Draw on some better eye brows and put your teeth back in your fucking mouth -Teethal Weapon -"Should I just go get my manager, now?" -You could eat an apple through a picket fence -Who ordered the Marjorie Taylor Greene kit from Wish? -Ms. Ed 🤣 -How many trees have you chewed down -You must give blow jobs with a warning label! -Bold of Marjorie Taylor Greene to do a roast me -New fear unlocked: country Pixar mom... 😬 -you look like you do anal to keep them interested a little longer -"Come here, Girl. Got a carrot for ya. Gooood horse." -I bet you become even more annoying after your second bottle of Chardonnay -Your dentist charges by the acre -You look like a bargain bin Marjorie Taylor Greene. -Teeth look like a row of urinals. -Sorry you didn’t win the Kentucky Derby. -"Whoever makes your camera filter, you need to send them $10 for the amount of heavy lifting they've done for you" -How many hours a day do you spend brushing your teeth?  -"Fun fact - Beaver dams can act as a natural filter for water travelling downstream... your phone on the other hand, has many unnatural filters that you're far too old to be using, get off the internet Mom" -You look like you make the worst potato salad -Never seen teeth extensions before -you would look better if you smiled with ur mouth closed… sorry 😭 -It's funny how you seem to have exactly one facial expression. It starts getting creepy though when you have to attend a funeral. Or fart in public. -"When your momma is 1/8 xenomorph and your dad's bugs bunny. - -Teeth so large they get a separate vote. - -If you get old and "" long in the tooth "" we are all fucked." -"I don't wanna even imagine what it looks like when you're trying to bite something. - -I bet people don't tell ""horse walks into a bar"" jokes around you." -Majorie Taylor Greene's stunt double -"You look like you say ""Whoopsies!"" a lot during sex" -you were probably hot AF in the early 60s -You look like a teacher that’s fucks her students -The only constant thought she has is “Is it made of wood?” -That first one looks like an analog horror jumpscare -You should really gnaw on some tree trunks to file those teeth down. -You look like you peaked in High School and still talk about it like you did something. -Your neck looks like taking off a condom -More filters than AutoZone -"I can feel the judgment ooozing from your pics … the other PTA moms probably have some funny nicknames for you. - -Cruella Mouthgrille comes to mind." -You should smile less. -You look like you could play both roles at the Tijuana donkey show. -"Let's place Horseface Bingo: - -At least one Live, Laugh, Love chachki that she keeps 'ironically' -Losing the battle with her own weight against the test of time -Trying really hard to pretend that the novelty of being in a relationship with an asshole hasn't worn off and now she just lives with an asshole, but is scared of being alone -Really really really hates the way she looks with her natural hair color, but trying to ignore how much she looks like marjorie taylor greene with it as it is, cause she can't afford to look any dumber" -"Your smile never touches your eyes, you’re dead inside." -How was it filming Goofy Movie? -"If I got drunk and slept with you, and woke up sober? -I would rather chew my arm off than wake you. - -Ironically though I would need your teeth" -Looks like you ask to speak to the manager at the gynaecologist -Her best sexual relationship was with a corn cob. -Nobody wants to hear about your fucking crystals. -Would you like a carrot and a bag of oats? -Posed naked on a car once. Claims she used to be a model. -Shouldn't you be knawing a tree by a river somewhere? -"Most men get dish washers, but it's clear you're a lawn mower" -Got those filters working so hard they’re about to unionize. -You really seem to like your teeth. -How many sugar cubes do you eat a day ? -You what is called a practice girl -"Goddamn, you could eat an apple through a chain link fence" -Making her weekly Costco run for alcohol to ply neighborhood pre-teens with -You could eat an ear of corn through a picket fence. -From giving up the cheeks behind the bleachers in high school to filming explicit videos with her son's friends. -Should have stayed a guy -You can’t handle the tooth -If Shark Week was a woman. -Whose horse is this? -I bet the only thing more bleached than that hair is your asshole. -Voted for Trump and now she’s mad that her pastor tells her “your body my choice” and proceeds to sexually assault her. -Sneezed once during a passionate moment and turned a boy into a girl.. -"Goddamn I can see and smell the incest from here. Your family lineage must look like a tree trunk that just got struck by lightning, burned to its base and then peed on by at least 3 of the last 4 dive bar men that you invited back to yur trailer. - -You’re aging like a fine supermarket Barefoot brand Moscato. I’d ask for you to take a second photo that didn’t come from an iPhone 4 camera but I don’t want to make fun of your financial situation, that’s too far in this economy. And my condolences on not even being able to sell your feet pics at the bar. I MYSELF thought it was quite rude of Greg to say that he wasn’t looking to buy the Walmart Dolly Parton’s Sasquatch feet. - -Look on the bright side tho. It looks like your veneers or the military grade whitener will shine no matter how dark. That’s very considerate of you to do as a warning for the phallic members of males that you try to pleasure but just turn to parmesan. -Note to self: do not get my teeth work done down in Mexico with the other 45 year old women trying to look 35" -You look like someone that would say bless her heart. -You look like you could eat a watermelon through a chain link fence. -Good god. One can only imagine how toothy of a blowjob you give. Giant teeth with thin little bird lips. RIP to any dick that comes near you. -I’m not saying you’ve got big teeth but your medical reports come back as 98% calcium. -Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Jewish space lasers really fucked up your face -If potato salad was a person -"Jeez, I hope I never come across her ginger bread house in the woods! - -Donkey from Shrek wants his teeth back" -id tap -As long as Marjorie Taylor Greene is in office you'll always have a Halloween costume. -I would only do oral because of the risk of your genes being past on. -"The post had no bio... - -Are your parents Big Bird and a beaver and were you schooled at clown college?" -“Its not a pyramid scheme its called multi level marketing.” is something you say on the reg. -I loved all your videos on wifeysworld back in the days. You aged well! -Is this Marjorie Taylor greens sister mom? -NEEEEIIGHHHHH -"I mean, the upside of having you around would be we could use you mouth as a bottle opener." -You look like you leave notes on your neighbor's doors about HOA infractions. -"I don’t know which is bigger, your chins or your teeth" -You look like the Tiger King fucked an actual beaver. -You look decent for a 65 y/o -You know how sometimes guys say you look better without makeup? Don't believe them. -I seen better teeth on a saw -Braces called…..you didn’t answer. -Dam any rivers lately? -"When the guy you’re with has a good look at you and loses his hard-on, you demand to speak to the manager." -You look like Vicki from RHOBH. That's not a compliment. -You have nice chins -Your face is posted in your kids’ schools after the way you harassed their teachers over masks. -I see MTG and the dick goes hiding -The horses called they want their teeth back. -Where's the selfie with the cum on it? -When you accidentally find your teacher on Tinder. -"The embodiment of a ""teethy blowjob""" -Looks like you could eat corn on the cob through a chain-link fence -You play dobbin in panto every year either those teeth -You look like you could chew through a concrete wall. You look like beavers spawned from you. -Two beavers one person -When your divorced high school teacher shows up to cougars night at the casino bar. -Miss Chernobyl 2024 -Did instagram introduce a cum filter -Hard to roast something that's been filtered to oblivion -Filter much? -You must need a whole team of dentists.. -Idk how you managed to age 20 years between the first and second photo -"I know i'm supposed to roast you, but I find you very pretty. I hope your day goes well" -"That grill catching bugs while you wait under the streetlight for surrrre. Guys flash their high beams to call you over and the sheer reflection is your go to distraction, before they can see they overpaid for some toothy bj" -Wifey’s World has had better photo shoots. -You about to do a Cooking Tik Tok and it’s gonna look like a bomb hit it -Normally I look forward to a blow job but .... -"No Becky, I don't want to buy a house from you." -You look like you like getting your coworkers fired -You could eat an apple through a tennis racket. -"I know we're supposed to shitting on you, but you have very pretty eyes. And I love the last, most casual, picture of you. You look very happy" -Turn the bugs bunny filter off -How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood??? -Dammed up the Missouri River with just two logs -Remember when you feed it to keep your hand flat. -Every military guy’s wife with the gummy smile -It’s a neeeeigh from me 🐴 -That is what the orthodontist said when he calculated the price for your braces. -You look like it would be enjoyable to feed you whole carrots. -"Wow super cute!!! Can’t see anything wrong with this picture!! Beautiful eyes, hair and a gorgeous smile!! Pics that totally brighten up anyone’s day!!! Wish we had a chance to talk one day!!! Sure you have a great personality" -"Remember, the tooth hurts." -Needs a filter for sure. -Teeth...it's the brightest thing about her -MTG? -I never knew the hawk tueh girl could get uglier -"A horse is a horse, of course of course" -With teeth so big and a mouth that small her neck muscles must be strong you can tell she has to bite and rip off to eat -Marjorie Taylor Green -"Eh, what's up doc? -You can grate carrots with them teeth." -These are the veneers I imagine a 🦫 would pick at the dentist.  -Save some carrots for the rest of us. Beavers would be jealous of you. -I’d rather drive through a sun down town at night than Get head from her🥹🚙 -Why the long face? -"With chompers like that, you could give a man a free vasectomy" -A horse is a horse of course of course -Your initials ruined my favorite card game -She looks like a meth head vicky gumbleson -"Does the sound of running water make you want to build dams? - -I am sorry, I don’t like to pick on people." -Do you filter the comments the way you filter your photos? -All aboard the TRUMP TRAIN -I’ve heard of hair extensions.. but didn’t know tooth extensions were a thing. -Marjorie Taylor Red -You should be the bucees logo -Fantasy material for human pony fetishists.. -Dear God it looks like you grew up chewing on rocks -This is what dentists dream about -"I was just scrolling, and thought this was a picture of Marjorie Taylor Green" -"You have more than one “Live, laugh, love” plaque in your apartment." -I really don't want to bad mouth you...since God already did -"Close enough. Welcome back, Amy from Amy's Baking Company." -Yours wearing so much make up i could chisel it off -Teeeeeeeeth -Wifeysworld.com -Howdy there tow mater -Looks like a mule eating corn through a picket fence... -This is wifey from. Wifeys world.com -"So far past your prime, not even Amazon can replace it." -"The only thing more annoying than your teeth, is that raspy high pitch voice I bet you have." -You could eat an apple through a letterbox -(sigh) Is your daughter getting more attention than you again? -Marjorie Taylor Beige -Stupidity at its best !!! Vain people -Looks like Marjorie Taylor Greene from Wish. -Marjory Taylor Grimm -"This has ""Me and my husband saw you from across the bar and really dig your vibe"" written all over it" -Tell me youre a christian nationalist trumper without telling me youre a christian nationalist trumper. -Blow job= vasectomy -You look like a teacher that grooms her students. -When you order Wifey’s World subscription from Temu. -Wow…. Why are there this many responses? Lol. I don’t see this many on anyone else’s. -"53yo female, met last boyfriend at the horse track." -Rabbit teeth -You think you’re edgy bc you gleefully voted for a felon. -You look like someone the president elect would hire on the spot without background check -I’d bet money you voted for Trump and have the IQ to go along with it. -There’s blonde bombshells but you’re a blonde blast crater. -Does your dentist use a rasp on you? -You’ve got a mile-long trail of ex-boyfriends sporting scraped up and scarred dicks don’t ya? -"Oh my God, Jon Benet Ramsey is still alive" -You look like the type to speak badly about Mexican people as you pull into the nearest cantina for poorly pronounced “faye gee tas”. -You know how they say: “wisdom comes with age”? In your case age came alone. -Now I bet you can chuck wood down like a legend. -You look like you sell 2000s 480x240 videos on clips4sale -When ppl who got kicked in the face by a horse ask if you ever got kicked in the face by a horse ask -The famous Mrs Ed -"When guys talk about beaver, they're usually discussing something else. When they're talking about you, it's all about the teeth." -"Stomach in, chest out, chin up... And the other one" -It looks like one of your teeth hate you so much it's trying to escape you. -I’m certain that’s what guys thought beforehand and were sadly disappointed afterwards -"Like the top slice of bread, everyone has touched you, nobody wants you. -Except your stepdad who is your no.1 OF contributor" -Holy buck teeth those are beaver worthy -You personify the dangers of photo filters. -She is proof that semen is a great substitute for toothpaste. -This photo stinks of sloppy oral and Elizabeth Taylor perfume.  -"Glad there were filters used, even though the filtered version was scary enough" -God dam! -You look like the type of person that lives by the HOA rules. -My kid carved a pumpkin this year that looked just like you -Another mid trying to get her inbox flooded with suitors. Enjoy all the messages from Indian men who you wouldn't give a second thought to in real life -"""This should be good"" - a thought never occurring to the guy stuck with you as you undress." -Definition of horse face. -You must be what’s left after all the good ones are taken. -Jeezus! I can't get past those horse chompers you have! -I bet the tooth fairy would bring a Hilo when you were a kid -Mom? -Your nickname in college was Blumpkin -Lola Bunny in her final form -Can I have a piece of gum? -I can roast people but roasting horses is against my culture -"Don’t bother , she will get her feelings hurt and then call the police" -You look like a sentient MTG wax work -"I have never seen the color of hair match the color of teeth so well until today. There exists things to make your teeth lighter too, not just the hair." -"Can't believe I am about to say this, but Marjorie Taylor Greene is hotter than you." -MOM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!??!? -You just look like the year 1925 I can't explain it -You look like someone told you that you had good teeth in middle school and you’ve clutched on to that your whole life. -"I'm guessing ""This should be good"" is not something you're accustomed to being told." -You could land a plane on those chompers -"As much as guys love fellatio, they're saying no to your overbite." -Why the long face? -i have never seen a woman with a combover before -yuck -Ready to be put in the truck headed for the glue factory. -Chiclets have me looking for sunglasses -Your eyes are empty leading me to believe your head is too -Couldn't you have got them to file those front nashers down when you were getting your teeth done? -You’re the equivalent of 40 year old virgin but with horse sounds. -"The rest looks ok, just throw a bag over her head…. Preferably plastic" -Bring a brown paper bag on day dates without alcohol. -What a beautiful horse -MTG? -the girl from talk tuah but even fucking worse (somehow) -"Come back aunt Sarah, your meds are waning off" -The first blonde ever to finish a math equation. Like hikes in the rice paddy's and algebra. -A mirror would be more damaging than anything I could come up with. -You look like your about to give head to a corn on the cob -Bet your partner opens beers with those teeth -Put your teeth back inside -You look like Bojack Horseman and Sarah Jessica Parker had a kid -Known as a “double bagger.” You wear a bag over your head in case the bag over hers falls off during s3x. -Mister Ed called. He wants his teeth back. -Keep your nose out this sub -I'm legally blind now because of the brightness of your teeth. -Even a horse looks at your teeth and goes DAYUM! -How many times have you been mistaken for a horse when walking into a bar? -Wheee snaw! Who wants Carrot? Who wants a carrot? -"It’s not so bad, keep your chins up!" -"When people ask you for some gum, they aren't asking for a smile..." -"With teeth like that, you should never walk into a bathroom whilst it's being tiled!" -"She's trying to look happy, but I can see that long face." -Marjorie Taylor Greene -"""This should be good"" - -No guy has ever said that before talking to you" -Ohhhhh so you’re Stormy “Horse Face” Daniels! -I would roast you but I couldn’t see anything past your teeth tbh. -"There are so many filters on those pictures, even the original pixels are asking, ‘Who are we?’" -I bet you can chew though a tree in no time at all -Marjorie Taylor Greene from temu -You could eat corn through barbed wire. -Wendy from Whoville grew up and became a middle school teacher in Detroit. -How old is too old for RoastMe? -Mrs. Ed -Looks like you’ve smeared a whole tub of Vaseline over the camera lens. -What's up doc -"Lowercase lips, uppercase teeth." -That use to be a man! 👨 -"Your breath always smells like 3 things, alcohol, grèen olives, and cock" -You look like a bad idea from the start that turns to a terrible idea once you blackout in the car after mixing 2 glasses of wine with your 2mg TID Xanax -I'd smash! -I would...but I have no standards. -You look like you go down on guys to save nuts for the winter. -"You look like you flip houses in an inner city neighborhood you are terrified of with your abusive husband that you would divorce tomorrow, but you're just holding out hope HGTV gives you both a TV show first." -Marjorie Taylor Greene. -You look like you give toothy head. -"With nashers like that, you can eat an apple through a tennis racquet !" -You look to be in your mid fifties -Do you ever just get sudden urges to stop rivers from flowing? -Marjorie Taylor Greene but somehow worse.. -Baby got teeth! My anaconda don’t want none unless you got gums hun! -She probably has that framed in the horse stables -"‘I’m not like the other moms, I’m a cool mom.’" -Marjorie Taylor 🤢 -You look like you could be one of them playboy rabbits. -Would smash. Then immediately hate all my life's choices and drink myself into oblivion and wake up dreaming that a beaver bit my dick off.  -comment -"During Rumspringa, Eli got shit faced on virgin daiquiris, fingered a goat, and posted on Reddit." -So when are we getting an amish paradise 2? -You’re so Amish you’re gonna get the comments in the mail -"Oh jebediah, I bet you plowing all the hoes" -If the guy from Weezer grew up in rural Pennsylvania. -How tf did you manage to post? -Wtf is Ishmael doing with a fucking cell and net?? What's the world coming to. Lol 😆 -"Nope, I’m not going to live in your village and marry your daughter." -"Wait a sec, you're using technology! Shame!" -Does Father Jebediah know of this blasphemy? -The Village sequel looks pretty low rent. -"As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, -I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain, - -But that’s just perfect for an Amish like me, -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity. - -At 4:30 in the morning, I’m milkin’ cows, -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool…" -No Reddit roasting will compare to the roasting that you get when you are shunned for using worldly technology -We've all seen your wife's ankles -"Your daughter called, she wants her virginity back " -This guy is getting absolutely churned in the comments. -"You are a week and a half early for Halloween, dude. But gluing all that pubic hair on your chin is a nice touch!" -How the hell are you on reddit?!?!?! -Your profile has pictures of your dick on it -"As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain -But that's just perfect for an Amish like me -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity -At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool -And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone -I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline -Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin -But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine -Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699 -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -I churned butter once or twice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -It's hard work and sacrifice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We sell quilts at discount price -Livin' in an Amish paradise -A local boy kicked me in the butt last week -I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek -I really don't care, in fact I wish him well -'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell -But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it -An Amish with a 'tude? -You know that's unheard of -I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat -And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool -If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears -We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years -But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare -We're just technologically impaired -There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar -Not a single luxury -Like Robinson Crusoe -It's as primitive as can be -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're just plain and simple guys -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no time for sin and vice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We don't fight, we all play nice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter -Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another -Think you're really righteous? -Think you're pure in heart? -Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art -I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like -On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife -So don't be vain and don't be whiny -Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're all crazy Mennonites -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no cops or traffic lights -Livin' in an Amish paradise -But you'd probably think it bites -Livin' in an Amish paradise" -He's from schrute farms -This guy isn’t even Amish he just likes to cosplay as one -Do you guys think showering is evil or something? 😒 -How fast does your horse and buggy go? -"Fuck thee too, Jebediah! Cometh to the Barn Raising, and thy will suffer great pain in thy ass." -Making sheep nervous since 86 -"You look like you have 10 wives, and not one of them is over six." -"So Noah Dyck, still trying to court Anita Dyck? Then you can have some Dycks of your own? - -But fuck, can they run." -"You can build a boat, a house, or barn in 30 mins. - -You can make your own butter, make your own clothing, make your own soap. - -But you're so hairy you look like the Muppet Animal -And you stink like pignuts and dogshit and all you do is work till you die - -Stupid bastard" -Damn they let yall have phones now? Catchin up with the times eh -Hey Mose. How’s it going on the beet farm? -🎶I’ve churned butter once or twice living in an Amish paradise 🎶 -Did you milk the bull today Roy? -Nice Halloween costume. Go back to posting dick pics -Say you've been shunned without saying you've been shunned. -Does the beard get in the way when you blow your goats? -When you get your amish on Wish -"Oh, I see: You're on the Internet for the first time ever...and are looking for new ways to cook?!! - I'm guessing you are in the ""ROASTme"" section for that reason. -- We all know ""MICROWAVEme,"" and ""AIRfryerMe"" aren't options for you, due to electricity." -How quickly can you build a barn? -I can smell your B.O. through the Internet. -Just blink twice if you want to get out of there. -Wait since when did Amish get internet? -Your wife will never know the difference between a romantic candlelit dinner and a regular dinner. -"Zachariah, stop playing of that devil box and come raise this barn.  Otherwise you won't have any privacy from the neighbors while you fuck our sheep!" -Finally found someone on r/Amish -Mark Ruffalo was recast in the Kingpin remake?! -/u/bot-sleuth-bot -How the hell did you get hold of a mobile phone or access to the Internet?? -Fuck you doing with a phone?? -It’s Jews like you that have ruined the Middle East for honest upstanding Muslims -How the fuck dose he have internet or a smart phone or pc -"The roast is you look like you'd sing these lyrics: - -As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain -But that's just perfect for an Amish like me -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity -At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool -And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone -I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline -Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin -But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine -Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699 -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -I churned butter once or twice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -It's hard work and sacrifice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We sell quilts at discount price -Livin' in an Amish paradise -A local boy kicked me in the butt last week -I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek -I really don't care, in fact I wish him well -'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell -But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it -An Amish with a 'tude? -You know that's unheard of -I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat -And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool -If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears -We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years -But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare -We're just technologically impaired -There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar -Not a single luxury -Like Robinson Crusoe -It's as primitive as can be -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're just plain and simple guys -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no time for sin and vice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We don't fight, we all play nice -Livin' in an Amish paradise -Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter -Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another -Think you're really righteous? -Think you're pure in heart? -Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art -I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like -On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife -So don't be vain and don't be whiny -Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie -We been spending most our lives -Livin' in an Amish paradise -We're all crazy Mennonites -Livin' in an Amish paradise -There's no cops or traffic lights -Livin' in an Amish paradise -But you'd probably think it bites -Livin' in an Amish paradise" -"His parents, who are also sister and brother, with roast him for being on the wicked computer box." -Do you daily drive a horse buggy? -"Scientologist, eh?" -What a Dyck. -Any butter churning need doin? -"You aren't supposed to be on an electronic device, Jebediah." -"Bro, your buggy was slowing traffic down." -Favorite hobby is plowing. Either plowing the fields or plowing his wife. -Amish people are weird. GO AWAY. -Can you bowl? -The Amish are calling they want their hair back -What in the Amish bread is this sorcery? Get off the interwebs you godless heathen -Just wait til the parson catches ya -Shouldn’t you be raising a barn somewhere? Also using this app my get you shunned. -Where the fuck are you getting internet from? -Schwing and Amish -What the fuck you doing with a phone?! ITS GOT ELECTRICITY INSIDE IT!!! -Why is the hair on your face shaped like a parabola -S'gonna require some serious chorin' to pay penance for this'un Hesekiah. -Yo get back to work I want my butter done by tomorrow morning -Thought Amish couldn’t use technology? Fake ass Amish. -That better be written with charcoal or I’m telling elder Simmons you’re using the devil’s pen! 🍆 -"Oh Jedediah, you Abe Lincoln looking motherfucker!" -You have a boogie in your right nostril. -You have nothing better to do than pretend to be Amish...you've roasted yourself -Brother Eli loves milking the bull! -Why would I want to force you to move from a place? Rousting is considered kidnapping sir... -Are you even allowed to read the responses? -Best Halloween costume yet -You look like you’ve never seen a iPhone ever in your life -How are you on Reddit? 😂 -"Abraham, get away from that dang devil’s phone. That’s a demon device." -Something is a little Amish -"ur beard is too big, and u have crappy glasses, and u smell bad" -"Put that dick away lmao, ain’t no one suckin that." -"Did a local boy kick you in the butt last week? Did you smile at him and turn the other cheek, because you will be laughing your ass off when he's burning in hell?" -Where the fuck you get the phone Ezekiel? -I now realize that God making it a sin for Amish to take a picture was really just a blessing for everyone else. -How does this work? Does someone write down the comments so you can read them by candlelight later. -"Next, I’m gonna see a goddamn Amish airline pilot." -wait... arent you the guy that got shot by john wilkes booth??? -You look like an Amish Seth Rogan -You remind me of an SCTV character Rick Moranis was lampooning. Look it up if you are curious. -How did you get your chin and dick to have the same haircut? -You better not let your sister/wife see you have posted d pics on the internet. You're going to be in trouble -You look like a Lesbian Mary Poppins. -"You two faced motherfucker, you're not supposed to be using technology!" -Matthew Broderick went Amish? Say it ain’t so! -So y'all reject all technology but somehow phones are okay to have? Go turn it into your local police station sir -Bob's burgers on steroids -"Thou art a mediocre farmer, thine eyeglasses look modern, thou wilt not likely be fruitful and multiply, and thy knowledge of scripture is questionable. - -Gott segen eich." -Dude got a whole ass Rumspringa and used it to go on Reddit. Go to a titty bar already! -Dammit who let Ezekiel have a phone!? -How are you here? On the *internet?* -Guys I think we found modern day Abraham Lincoln. How's your head feelin? -"What’s your name? (I’m guessing it’s Ezekiel.) Fuck you, Ezekiel!" -God damn it Jebediah! I told you to stay off the Internet! -Are you allowed to be on the internet? -He Mennonite. More hip than Amish. -Dwight K. Shrute -"As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain -But that’s just perfect for an Amish like me -You know, I shun fancy things like electricity -At 4:30 in the morning I’m milkin’ cows -Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool -And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone -I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline -Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin -But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine -Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699 - -We been spending most our lives -Living in an Amish paradise -I’ve churned butter once or twice -Living in an Amish paradise -It’s hard work and sacrifice -Living in an Amish paradise -We sell quilts at discount price -Living in an Amish paradise" -We are going to party on the farm like it's 1699!!! -How are you using a phone -This dude was thrown out of his community because he had several mennonite. -Where the fuck did you get a cellphone? -"Ah, the old Amish Hipster. Might look like he’s really about the life but in reality he’s merely gentrifying the Amish community 😬. Lol" -Weird Al is redoing Amish Paradise -Dudes got no shame. Can you truly roast someone willing post soo many 🍆🍆🍆pics? To Reddit of all places. -God already did it for us -"Bro, this is what you decided to do for your breaking amish?" -I thought the Amish couldn’t use anything electric -"What does every Amish woman want? -3 Mennonite." -"Do a lot of Amish have $500 Tom Ford frames with modern coatings on the bi-focal lenses? Asking for a friend. Hoping your finger nails were done for affect. Otherwise, you need to work on that after the prank is done. They nasty." -"Hey that’s little Steve, really wish I could unsee the little fella" -You look like you are related to Dwight Schrute -WTF Amish aren’t supposed to have cell phones. 😫 -"""Down in the vally where I harvest my grain -I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain -But that's just perfect for an amish like me""" -"We been spending most our lives -Livin’ in an Amish paradise -I churned butter once or twice -Livin’ in an Amish paradise" -How many horses have you abused today? -"You’re a little late for the Weird Al, Amish Paradise video casting call…" -Logic? -Did amish something? -Amish Logic? -I call shenanigans. The Amish don't use cell phones or the internet. -Bro looks goofy as hell -"""Four score and seven years ago""" -"🎶as I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my……….hey wait a minute🧐🤔 Don’t ye Amish shun things like smart phones and electricity!? Go back to plowing there Zeb!" -"Nice try, this is just ur Halloween costume" -Someone must have a shunning kink -What are you doing on a computer you primitive living nutcase? This isn't considered technology? When did rules change in your backwards ass goat and cousin fuckin community? Didn't you do a movie with Han Solo when you were a kid? You do know what movies are right? I have so many questions. How many cousins have you knocked up? She at least hot? -"I live in Amish town , yeah they all have phones, most have old Nokias with antenna signal booster and power pack battery bag, but alot of them have brand new iPhones and the best androids, they can have them but they can’t take em in the house . They all have a building at edge of their property where they keep the devils tools . Like their phone and sometimes freezer , but anyways the Amish young ones are always referencing old vines and asking me if I seen that one ? Their favorite video is that old old old video of the drunk guy on the scissor fork lift that gets pulled over by the cop. And btw ur horse is blocking the driveway again ," -That’s a nice beard -As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain -I thought you guys refused modernity and shit... -"Ezekiel, are you even allowed to have an electronic device?" -Don't the the armish police know this guy has a phone. -I’d love to bang an Amish woman -"Out here in Amish. -Smoking big doinks in Amish. -Big ol' doinks… Gang." -When did the Amish start getting phones and cameras? -The Amish still haven’t fixed the DeLorean yet Marty? -Straight to hell -Are you even allowed to have a reddit account ? -He thinks a silly hat and suspenders will get him into heaven. -You look like your butter is sour and your barns are crooked. -are you allowed to post on reddit? -🎵 Been spended most my life living in the Amish paradise 🎵 -"The insults are easy. You wash once a week in a tub with after your whole family washing, marinating in your grandpa’s, father’s, and 6 older brothers’ ass and ball sweat. Everyone outside the community will move 20 feet upwind when you go into “town” which maybe has one stoplight, shuttered storefronts, and a whole lotta meth. You are the result of several generations’ cousins marrying and if you don’t die from a tooth abscess, you will from a congenital disease. You act pious but you hide in the woods with a secret phone and jack off to photos of particularly plump udders instead of fucking your cousinwife once a week to pump out more fucked up kids in a fucked up abusive society. Sorry. I actually like the Amish and think they’re an interesting, insular, hardworking community but you said to roast you." -"As you walk through the feild where you harvest your grain, you look at your wife and realise she's pretty plain." -Can't roast you. My oven is electric -Who let the Amish guy have a phone? -Your going to hell for this -It's a sin to post without you favorite sheep -"Rocking the ""Abe Lincoln "" in the year of our Lord, Two Thousand Twenty Four." -"Holy shit, one of them finally figured out what a phone was" -First Amish Halloween costume this year!! -Raise any barns today? -"""As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain..""" -Imagine growing a beard and it still looks like it glued on -"Jebediah, you Abe Lincoln motherfucker!" -I thought yall weren't allowed stuff like phones -Are you even allowed to be here? -What pastor did you have to blow to get internet? -First off Emmanuel Abner Yoder no phones on the farm!!!! Brother Abraham will not be happy and will smite thee. -This post is going to get you banished from your religion and you’re gonna have to convert to being a Jehovah’s Witness -Tell your brothers not to vote for Trump -"Bro, what are you doing with the phone? I thought Amish people couldn’t have electronics." -Well... we now know what happened to Mark Ruffalo after The Avengers. -...if Roy Munson and Mrs. Dumars had a kid together. Maybe a Kingpin 2 coming soon? -Jebediah!! Get back to plowing and put that worldly heathen thing down! -How did he get a phone -Are you even allowed to be on the internet ? -Did he mail this image in? -you got it captain crunch -All I could think of is weird Al Yankovic -"If you're actually Amish or something, I've got nothing. It's fine. If not, you're a total fucking dork" -"You’re a good looking guy, but please get rid of the hat and the beard. But you’re very handsome, but we can’t really see you!" -"Yo, straight outta the barn, with that churnin' flow, -You rockin' them suspenders, but where'd the drip go? -Got that beard so thick, man, it’s lookin' like hay, -You butter churnin’, but I'm here churnin' wordplay! - -Those glasses got you seein' the future, it's bright, -But you still thinkin' horsepower means ""buggy at night!"" -You rockin’ Rumspringa, but where’s the rebellion? -I’m spittin' fire, and you're still playin' the accordion. - -Electricity-free but I’m shocked by your style, -Took one look and thought I time-traveled a mile! -Got that hat on, yeah, it’s flat like your phone bill, -But your rap game's slower than a mule on Benadryl. - -So what’s next? You tryna flip some pancakes? -Still searchin' for Wi-Fi like you diggin’ for milkshakes! -But hey, respect—you're keepin' it humble and slow, -While I’m burnin’ this roast like it’s fresh from the stove! - -Mic dropped like your buggy in a ditch, man!" -I love the Amish! -If you are on Reddit you are not really into being Quacker. (Sp) so Wtf are you wanting ? I make jest of your religion. Or I assume that you just wanna way out of a repressive community? -"“as i walk through the valley where i harvest my grain, i take a look at my wife and realize shes very plain. but thats just perfect for and amish like me, who know i shun fancy things like “electricity.”" -You look like Weird Al from his Amish Paradise music video -You’re Amish. Roast over. -"""Churning this butter sure reminds me of her!"" *stares at his sister*" -It really sucks that he doesn't have access to all these great comments -Fuck off weird al! -Your glasses do not have corrective lenses. The ultimate Amish poser. -"What’s the point, you can’t use the phone or computer to see what is said anyway" -Your left eye is winning the race to your chin. -I thought amish arent allowed to have phones -The hell you doing with a smart phone anyway Jedediah? -"Livro favorito: ""Mein Kampf""" -Amish or Jewish? -"Guys he has a phone, on Reddit… you know what he’s been doing…. Poor man is going to get shunned… brother welcome to the new world!" -Hide the goats -"Noah, how the hell you posting this? Arn’t Amish folks prohibited from electronics, cell phones, computers and such? YOU ARE NOW SHUNNED! - -And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that -Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone. - -- Amish Paradise….Weird Al” Yankovic" -I thought amish people didn’t have phones -Amish Woody Allen. -Bruh where my heater at 🤔… it’s been 3 years since I ordered it come on guys -Are you on Rumspringa? -Looks like a Amish logic -"Don’t let em catch you on that phone, Jebediah!" -"For God's sake, grow a mustache." -Amishbinladen -A cult by Abraham Lincoln -You look like a nice guy 👍 -Mf how'd you get a cell phone? -Once a year Halloween Spirit visits you to harvest its costume beards -Let me guess....StarLink?? Who's cranking the generator? -You look like Bubbles if he had an Amish cousin. -Rabbi Lincoln -nah what are yiu wering nahhh cowboy -Something is A mish here -I'm a thousand times more humble than thou art -"Pretty sure if you auditioned for the role of Mose in the office, you would have won the part." -Howdy parter ass look -"""Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter -Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another -Think you're really righteous? -Think you're pure in heart? -Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art -I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like -On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife -So don't be vain and don't be whiny -Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie""" -"Once upon a time, there was a gnome who decided to give up the dating game, the world lived happily ever after. The end" -Glad to see the Amish are finally embracing technology -How's your first week on the internet going? -"An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an open buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, ""My hands are freezing cold."" The mother replied, ""Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up."" So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, ""My hands are freezing cold."" The daughter said, ""Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."" - - - -The next day, the boyfriend is driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, ""My nose is freezing cold."" The daughter said, ""Put it between my legs. It will warm up."" He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend is driving again with the daughter and he said, ""My penis is frozen solid."" The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, ""Have you ever heard of a penis?"" The slightly concerned mother says, ""Sure, why do you ask?"" The daughter says, ""Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out." -comment -I’m gonna need a bigger oven to roast you -It looks like you have a boner that’s poking out your meat flap. -Nah man. Sometimes it’s just too sad. -Type 3 diabetes -*sigh* Just another person trying to promote their OF. When does this madness end? -You look like the type of guy who hears the word ‘morbidly’ a lot -I feel attracted to you... Because of the gravity -Even the heart disease has diabetes. -you probably should give a heads-up to authorities for your funeral a few years from now so they can get enough TNT for blowing up that whale-carcass -"This ain’t the place for you, get some help" -Last time he seen his dick was in a dream -I tried to roast you earlier but it took hours to scroll down past your gut to type a comment -Get the lump checked out … seriously -Man you're fucked -Your baby is kicking -You look like you could fart a whole plum. -"“Let ‘em rip” - -You mean like every piece of clothing you’ve tried on?" -You may have to lose weight to get your umbilical hernia repaired. -"Legit question, how do you piss and shit" -Careful on how much roasting we do people. Don't wanna burn the fucking block down with this fat ass. -You are putting alot of faith In the couch -Please do not let 'em rip. -I bet you sound like darth vader when you breath -Even your belly button has a belly -Vore artists use this picture for anatomically correct references -"I'm curious, what sub do you moderate?" -"Fucking Christ, there had to be days when you didn't wake up hungry" -We’d end world hunger if we roasted you. -Bro honestly no roast just get your life together and have some self respect. You need to hear that. You can do it. Focus. Goals. Execute. Stay the course. -That's no moon... -Whoa...you got planets in your orbit -Don’t use your self deprivation as humor to disguise the depression I see in you -"Finally I’ve seen a discord mod…. My life is complete but I beleive yours would be even sooner. - -Wouldn’t be surprised if you’d be reading this from while some devils take a piece out of your belly to feed everyone in hell….." -Don’t stop til you tuck your tit in your sock -Luke would sacrifice you to stay warm. -Sir your heart might stop any second now -"I know this isn’t why you are here. But dude. You could be living your best, having sex, partying, or just relaxing with a loved one at home. I hope you have one, if you do, show it you love it by not doing whatever it is that you currently are." -"I always say you really know it’s bad when half of the comments aren’t even roasts, they’re just genuinely concerned 💀" -Was you bottle fed mash potato as a baby? -Is that a hernia above your belly button or are you just happy to see me? -The last motherfucker he ate is trying to escape -"Honestly start binging people who radically change their weight… huge before and after losses and start chopping at the block… it’ll feel good man you’ll be glad to have done it, and record so you can make money from your weight loss journey" -"If we truly roasted you, we could end world hunger and have left overs." -"I feel for you brother, I don’t want to make fun of you because I’d imagine you are in wuite a lot of pain. If you are able to get your umbilical hernia fixed it might help you begin to feel more confident and start to excercise and eat healthier." -I heard fat people get cremated at lower temperature to prevent fat burn... l -This is just sad. I pray you find the courage to lose the weight roasting you will not cut it. (this applies to me as well) -Your death is imminent unless you do something. How’s that? -What is the point? You will probably die before you get a chance to read this. -How many decades has it been since you've seen your dick? -"Brother, I'm genuinely concerned for you. Not gonna roast you, but give you some advice. Get on a diet and exercise plan before it's too late.. I was obese since my teens all the way thru to my late 20s until I had no choice but to make lifestyle changes. It's NEVER too late while you're still on this earth. Message me if you want some advice on how to get started. Wishing you the best of luck my friend." -"I'm sorry, this is just sad. Hope OP can get on track to get healthy." -"If Wales got the same treatment as Palistine, you'd be their new homeland" -"You've had enough roast...c'mon now, man." -"Your favourite exercise? -Running... out of patience when waiting for pizza delivery!" -"My greatest hope for you is that this is your Ozempic “before” picture and you live long enough for the “after” pic. Jesus Christ, dude, get help." -I want to squeeze your belly for nonsexual entertainment purposes. -No roast. Hope you get better. You're worth it. -The picture you posted makes me angry. -The blob that ate everyone -"Nah man, you don't need this. You don't need the name calling and jokes and whatnot to push you to change. You gotta find that power, that want to, within yourself. I know it's hard, but it's super simple. It's all about calories in versus out. Start small. Cut out candy/dessert items. Once you get the sugar under control, you can start to watch your calories. Eat things that are easy for your body to burn off. Proteins, lots of beef, chicken, and fish. Try to stay away from any kind of weight loss surgery or anything like that cause if you don't have the lifestyle change to back it up, you'll just end up right back in the same spot. But the diet first, easiest." -I’m gonna need a bigger oven -It looks like you coughed up your balls and got them stuck in your belly button -Clean it up dude. -The inevitable grease fire at the crematorium. -"Come on man, you've been posting these roast me posts a lot.. you don't need this. You need genuine motivation to change and some actual help. You're not healthy, you have to make a change man. You can do it, I believe in you. - -You have to lose weight, if you don't, then expect nothing to get better." -"Be kind to yourself. I'm looking at a good-looking dude who deserves to be in good health. Even if it's just waking across the house a couple of extra times a day, moving in the right direction is worth it." -Not roasting but how does one actually let themselves get this fucking big? Isn’t there an in between moment where u look at yourself and say…..shit this is getting out of hand…..like you don’t just wake up one day and weigh 500 pounds this took years of neglect and gluttony. I’ll never u derstand how some humans can get this ridiculously fat and pathetic. Please dude lay off the soda and the sofa start walking everyday drink water only. Lose some fucking weight ur an embarrassment to everyone you know. -Leviathan white version -The last thing the toilet sees before it dies -"Man I bet every time you turn around, it's your birthday..." -"Dude, you are melting." -Is that a hernia or are you just happy to see me -Shaquille O'Meal -"Bro honestly no roast just loose some weight this is really unhealthy, your gonna die young if you live like that. Get help. There are doctors that can set you in a weight loss plan, and if it’s due to stress get a therapist as well. It’s not worth during young just eat something that tastes good." -Nah bro get some help man you're just slowly poisoning yourself and this is coming from a guys who is also finding trouble with high fat high salt processed food. Wishing you best of health. Get fit then post on this sub and we'll then have some good banter. -You look young . Get therapy . This is no way to live or die . -Of course you want roast -This dude’s so massive he once fell in love and broke it -How does this even happen? You look like the last scene of Akira -"Cmon, man. Have some fucking self respect. Jesus Christ. Eat a vegetable. Move. Stop playing Minecraft, get out of the basement, and get some fresh fucking air. Get a gym membership. Join Weight Watchers. Do SOMETHING. You are handicapping yourself for life." -You’re addicted to food I’m pretty sure -"According to Gabriel Iglesias, there are six levels of fatness: healthy, heavy, husky, fluffy, damn!, and OH HELL NAH!! I think he’s gonna create another level for you: Oh FUCK THAT!" -Guy needs a panoramic to get his whole body in the picture -I don't think I have a big enough spit. -The only thing ripping will be you. When the find your ole decomposed ass sweating in a room supposed by Big Macs and that guy splits down your side and all your fluid leaks out. And poor people like me end up with PTSD from it -Jabba the hernia. -"Aside from being fat, your beard is trimmed, your hair is cut, your house appears clean and you have proper handwriting. - -What the hell are you doing on Reddit?" -Yo ass so fat that when u walked in front of my tv I missed 3 seasons -Wiping your ass must be the most exercise you get a day -Umbilical hernia incoming you fat fuck -DaHam! -You look like the fat version of a fat person. -Start walking 2 or 3 miles a day. And drink 1 16 oz bottle of water every 2 hours. Youll amaze yourself in a month. Ive been where you are brother. Thats my roast. -That’s a fully grown man kicking in your stomach! What did he do to you to make you eat him? -You look like white edp445 -Eminem if he was in *that* life -That’s what you told your ass when it hit the toilet. -who made you? herman melville?? -I’d rather grill you -Guess we know what ate Gilbert Grape -King Leonidas! It is ”this is Spartaaaa” and not ”this is pastaaa with sauce and cheese” -"You think Brendan Fraser is The Whale, but then you crack open reddit and see this guy." -Dude so massive he had to write the roastme note on A3 size paper. -Must've been a fair while since your dong came outta hibernation -I'm sure that your stomach and thighs go way back -You have so much mass I’m surprised there isn’t a moon orbiting around you. -Your dick is like a black hole. It's theoretically there but no one can actually see it. -You let one rip & I felt it all the way over here in Australia. -"Bros so fat he had to make 4 posts so our roasts can burn his calories away (as u can tell, he's too big, we need to burn him harder)" -"When he runs, the ground questions its life choices" -So this is what the average redditor looks like. Here I thought it was all jokes. -I think someone’s lost softball is suck under your lower rolls 😕They probably have been looking for it. -Must be exhausting waddling around carrying a 100 lb barbell. I mean no disrespect. What do you weigh. 375? -732 weeks pregnant with a poop baby -I gained weight looking at you -Discord moderator caught in 4k -Miss Ohio 2023 Runner Up -bro hasn't wiped his ass since he was 13 -Your kids must play hide and seek around your waist -These pokemons gotta stay in their world. A snorlax ffs -Snorlax cosplay coming along nicely I see. -"You'll be dead soon. Get your shit together man, time to make a change fr" -This post actually just made me curious as to whether or not they sell doublewide coffins -Nickokado is more fitter than you -I imagine your legs look like two sausage casings filled with beet juice. -You are the reason why kids in Africa are hungry -"You should become a father if you’re not already. - -I bet you’d be great. - -They say it takes a village to raise a kid these days and you sir clearly qualify." -Hey you can decide if you wanna die because of cardiomyoliposis or the huge hernia you are carriing around. -"Poster child for diabetes, right here. How much have you paid explorers to help find your penis?" -You need to lose 400 pound in six munt. -Looks like one of the 6 fetuses you have is moving today. -Nah dude wtf. Get help. -Enough Roastbeef for you -"U look like the crocodile fighter AI meme, but a lot less capable of fighting the crocodile" -you looks like ur mom -"Roast you? Buddy it would cost me too much to find a grill that would accommodate you. At least it would be the first time in your life you could feed your family without foodstamps, though." -I thought they slayed Jabba the gut -You don't need table when you can put a plate on your stomach. -Average Reddit mod. -50 types of diabetes -"Username doesn't check out, at least partially" -Apparently you are about to -I'm not even gonna roast you because this is straight up sad. Just get help man -How many years ago was the last time you saw your dick ? -"Sort yourself out dude, or you're going to die very young." -"In all seriousness, get that lump above your belly button checked out." -I thought i was fat -Discord moderator -Have you ever seen a mortician have to charge freight shipping? -It’s not too late to change! -"Just can’t imagine why anyone would allow themselves to get to this point , new year around the corner. Help yourself, your will thankful in a year from now" -"No need to roast you, you’ll be getting cremated soon… - -(But seriously man you need to start looking after yourself, start small go for a 15 minute walk each day)" -"I am sure you do and are capable of clearing out a movie theater when you do," -your hands look like how kids draw fingers on a teddy bear -Ain’t never seen no curved bellybutton before -Do you not care that you're dying soon? -"Stands on the scale and it says....""I one at a time please""" -"At your funeral will the priest say “He was very good at what he loved, gaining 40 pounds a week”" -Man lost biggest loser before it even started because he couldn't walk across the parking to enter the set -didn’t you die in return of the jedi? -"Looks like your quintuplets are ready to be born, I mean one of them is sticking its head out." -"Be proud of your self. -Walk with your both the chins up" -he ate the pen immediately after writing the sign -"If we roasted you, it would end world hunger" -You know what - you can lose the weight….get some help and communicate with friends….get a coach…..I believe as easily as it came on it can come off faster. Good luck but I know you won’t need it. -Roasting you could end world hunger -"""let'em rip,"" is that the motto for your pants?" -Jabba the Gut -Boogie2988? -"That bulge looks bad, someone should take him to see doctor Phil." -Yo don't let the people on insta see this. -"You’re gonna die soon, probably." -You have an umbilical hernia - bro. -Get help because you'll die before you're 50 -If you die at this size they’re going to tear a hole in your wall and haul your morbidly obese ass out with a crane. -Should see Dr. About hernia -I can’t believe y’all are commenting I just KNOW this man is fapping (or at least trying to) to all of these comments. -Wish you the best brother. -I’m going to do something more people in your life should do… NO! -"🙏 for a happy and healthy life for you, 1 step at a time. A journey of a million miles starts with the first step!!!" -Oh no.. -"All joking aside, you've literally accepted a death sentence by allowing yourself to go this far. I hope you can find yourself some real help and I hope you can find that help sooner rather than later or you'll never be finding your penis again." -"Let’s start with the obvious, those frames don’t match the shape of your face." -This is the exact same photo u used last year I’m guessing you’ve added a few pounds since then -"Damn dude, I don't even want to roast you, this is just sad. You need to change your lifestyle if you don't want to pass away within 20 years. Your organs can only handle that body for so long. Please see a dietician or make an attempt to be healthier, as I'm sure the world is a better place with you in it." -"How can you ask people to make jokes, when you ARE A LIVING JOKE" -No excuse for letting yourself get that obese. Think of your poor mother who has to look after you. How can she manage getting you from the bed to the toilet? Nappies are not something any mother should have to deal with after her children mature apart from her father. -"The outie belly button is impressive, 1 ton of pers beef cake...so ripply you could use the blubber to fuel the earth for a month or power a wave pool with perpetual motion, bravo sir." -Bro go get some exercise… start with a nice walk -First male pregnancy -"Bruh, just get some help, ok? Move around as much as spherically possible throughout the day, eat less food, talk to a doctor. I'm serious. You need to save your own life. You'll thank us that are trying to help you when you realise how bad you got, IF you decide to make a change before it's too late" -This post will last longer than your heart -"I don't know why this is popping up in my feed, but I'll do what needs done. - - Your protruding navel is most likely a hernia. You should have that looked at by a doctor." -Seeing this... I bought stocks in all fast food places in your town. -"You've had enough roasts, you fat fuck." -ur fat -Roast you? How big do you think my fucking oven is? -Don't think there is an oven big enough for you -Do you cook your food with your own fat or? -"Everyone here attacking this man, but the only attack he should be worried about is from his heart." -"Let ‘em rip, he said as he put his pants on." -Your hernia has a hernia -Dude you need help. Not roasts. Time is ticking. Reset the clock. -Is he going to die? 😫 -"Dude, you need some help. Please get some. 😞" -He looks like he’s already letting it rip -Discord mod -"On a more serious note, how do you get this big? Do you live in a refrigerator?" -What ever is poking out of your stomach needs to be looked at. Like please go to a Doctor... -"Yall roasting him so good, that he'd feed a whole village for weeks." -Can't roast you if you can't fit in the oven. -I bet you have pantry in those rolls. -Where do you end? -Is that a belly button or a tumor? -"Hey man, start today with making small positive changes. It'll add up. And don't loose weight too fast. Keep it very gradual, let a dr help you with how to make slow improvements in a safe way. Come back a year from now after you've lost a few pounds and we'll roast you." -Bros so fat he wakes up on both sides of the bed -comment -Do you know if it's a boy or a gurl yet? -We shouldn't roast you. You've got enough on your plate. -"Holy shit! That guy in the first pic ate the guy in the second pic. - -Fatt Damon." -"High school Eminem - -Real life M&M" -The Freshman 150 -Its not a glow down! Its a blown up -You should start an onlyfans with those tiddies! -you look like kyle rittenhouse needs to shoot insulin. -"I’m sure your heart is in the right place, it’s just clogged with bacon fat." -A bit of a “glow down”… whatever lets you sleep at night 😂 -Still got the same piss stained trousers -"Hey at least now that you're fat, your big ears stick out a lot less " -You look like you're having an allergic reaction to life. -Nice tits. Just share your onlyfans link and move on. -It looks like someone edited your head onto a fertility doll. -I bet you deep fry your antidepressants in butter. -"You're advanced for your age. I have the same gut, but I'm 56." -Breasts are beautiful. Wish my wife's looked like that. -"Eating twinkies while jerking to trsnny porn isn't actually a weight-loss plan, bro." -Nominem -"Don't worry about it, bro. - -A lot of people pack on the freshman 1500." -Look like 300 pounds of chewed gum -"You didn't glow down, you blew up" -After highschool he graduated to a larger cup size -Neh Jabba no botha -FAT... BITCH TITS... FUCK -Not so much a glow up as a chow down -Have you ever suckled your own teets -"Ok we will, but first you need to give yourself an insulin shot." -I can’t believe it’s not butter -"Unroast for a moment. That's incredibly bizarre for a young adult male to put on that kind of weight within a few years. You seriously need to get your metabolism checked. It looks like an issue you need to address with a doctor. - -Dont be afraid to ask for help. My dms are open if you need to vent. I am saying this as someone who struggled in my late teens and early 20s. And who is still struggling, but doing much better now." -I'm gonna need a big fire and an apple to roast this pig -Glow down? More like a Chow Down! -I support your full transition to the michelin man. -"If it makes you feel better, you started from rock bottom already. It's like failing a test. There are no scores below 0 in life." -You mean after high school you had a blow up!! Jacking off is not considered cardio. -Reverse Glow Up is a Throw Up. -The fat hides your outy ears. -You got calico cut pants on there in high school. -Yeah sucks to be you for sure -When is your due date? -How tf did your neck not get fatter? -You look like Nickocado Avocado and Michael Cera's love child -Left school and got pregnant. 🤰🏻 you fat fuck get that gut on a diet 🐷 -"Kid, tighten the fuck up and stop getting roasted and get in the gym. Get some self confidence and pay less attention to the Internet. Here is your roast/guidance. Go do something with your life." -You look like the poster child for the wonders of cocaine. -"Bro, younger you is literally wearing Calico Cut Pants. - -https://getcalicocutpants.com/" -Can we get a neck reveal at 1k upvotes? -"Another life ruined by teenage pregnancy, so you still know who the dad is?" -You need to make some changes. I won’t sugarcoat it because you’d just eat that too. -That’s sad cuz you’re very cute / You just look very unhappy in both pics - it shows -At least you grew a pair. -What a waist -Were you drinking Oreos my dude? -Hey dude! You look really sad in your pic. If this is the case I hope you know that anything is possible as long as there is breath in your lungs. You can find the strength to get healthier again and you CAN do this. -There cant be really be a glowdown if u never looked good -No such thing as a glow down tubby 🤣🤣 you just BLEW UP -You peaked in high-school... -"Lost the fat, but not the virginity" -Mid evolution to basement dweller. -"He said ""a bit"" of a glow down 💀 if that's a bit I don't even wanna see what it was before" -You look like one of the nicest 2 people I’ve never met -"Many consider post-pregnancy to be a glow up - cheer up, only bright days ahead for you!" -Just cut soda bro -"You should be ashamed bro bro. Ngl this made me feel better ab myself. But can you do me a favor and grab me a Cinnabon, hot and dripping like the sun peaking out of a Bayan tree after monsoon, from the grocery store?" -"""Glow down?"" More like ""gave up!""" -"Tbh, your face is still very handsome. Just gotta get active." -You look like a fat sad Matt Damon. -"Sucks that you can't just hit the gym and lose that permanent ""just got grounded for saying the N word"" face" -I see you had a run in with one of those Peruvian fertility idols -The before pic is actually the after pic unless you decided to eat your twin.  -Cal Kestis if he was from Earth. -"You haven't had only a bit of anything, except adult on-set type-2 diabeetus...." -Look at the fucking wired umpa lumpa ass. -r/tendies -Lose weight -"This is you - -This is you on video game addiction" -You look like a woman who’s eating chicken nuggets to use the hormones to become a man. -You simply grew into your ears -"You look like the type that will only ever tell stories starting with ""years ago in school"" because literally nothing of interest has happened to you since apart from crippling debt from insulin pump prescriptions" -Don't think of it as a glow down... Think of it as a blow up -Turned into Not so slim shady -"In all seriousness, you really need to seek treatment for hormone imbalance, your estrogen and testosterone is all out of whack! It’s quite obvious by the Gynecomastia you’ve got going on and it also contributes to weight gain as well! No need to suffer unnecessarily and it’ll start causing other issues as well that can’t be seen, but you’ll definitely be aware of it, if you don’t get treated!" -"Damn bro, she really hurt you" -Young Sheldon got fat. BAchickenTINGA -You're cute. Dress better. -You ate too much after high school. -Only way youre getting roasted is with an apple in your mouth -You look like a fat version of the NHL player Taylor Hall -Boy loves the sodies -Glow down?! More like a chow down. -Thank you for helping me not drink again today -You have the face of a guy that lost a bet and had to tit implants…you also have the body of a guy that lost a bet and got tit implants. -You were behind the eclipse on the 8th weren't you -"I like how youve managed to grow a vagina. You got fat, soft - estrogen increased. You lost your facial hair, receding hair line -- you're literally becoming a form." -Your a stud homie. I'm a comic and I roast people but you still are a very handsome young man -Did you ball just give up? No more testosterone for you. -Nothing wrong. I see a young man with his whole life ahead of him. Pick a couple of small goals. Getting up early. Brushing our teeth an extra tine a day. Go for a walk or two. Read what you don't know about. Don't worry bro. You're gonna take the world. Hold ypur gead high. Youre the king. Peace -From jackass to jacks-to-his-own-fatass -A bit? Dude you got preggers -Jogging is free. -"Yall remember that girl recently that was actually in a horrible place and not one person roasted her? I get the same feeling when I got back from the second pic to the first pic. Keep it up bud, you've got many many years ahead of you." -Join the Marines..... -This is what lazy looks like -Went from Matt Damon to Michael moore -"Seriously buddy, you have striking good looks. Don't waste your youth. A little bit of effort and you would be in your prime." -Get your shit together you fat fuck. -So you didn’t get your jugs til after high school eh? If you were a woman that could be a pleasant surprise for people who hadn’t seen you since graduation. In your case…..not so much. -You could fix this in a matter of 3 months -Get it together know the hoes missing you -i’d cuddle you -Time to glow back up -I mean. You got body bro chest is sitting and that stomach is hot -Nice tits bro -"You are cute, handsome young man. 😍 Self-deprecating is toxic and you don't need it. Love your self." -I would have called it a blow up -"More than ""a bit"" there big fella - -Lock tf in" -You went from looking like chad to looking like you ate chad -You're still here on Planet Earth. That's a blessing. Think about your classmates who aren't here. So you don't look the same way you did when you were a kid...there are more important things in life. Keep pressing. Be happy.🤗 -"You look like Arnie’s son. No, the other one." -At least you’re still cute -Bulking szn -You probably hate Andrew Tate but believe me listening to him would improve your life -You fat boy -Hide the honeybuns -Nah bro. Looks like you're dealing with some serious shit. I wish the best for you mate. -"So much potential bro your not even too far gone. A simple 6-8 months on a diet, lifting weights, training,or something like that you’d be everything you are not now. Too bad your too lazy to put in the work…" -"Big glow down here, give you a kick in the butt, you can do better" -"I’m not gonna roast you. It happens, brother. Be kind to yourself. You can still turn it around, if you want to." -Boy can fuckin eat 💀 -God damn you got fat man. I’ve heard of fragmen 15 but damn dude you put on a freshmen 50 -Fat tub of shit. -"Jesus christ you really let yourself go - -I mean you couldnt hold on any longer with that physique" -I’m not even trying to roast you what the fuck happened -"You look unhappy, I Hope that your future gets brighter. Keep Strong and know that things will get better." -"“I’m lgbt I identify as a frying pan, my dad kicked me out of my house and I live in my grandpas toyota and eat raw meat.”" -Tits be looking like an upside down destiny logo. -wtf happened dude -From f boy to fed boy -You’ve got blimpy -Why didn't you post the picture of the glow-up? Is it that bad? -Bro just go gym it ain’t no glow down you just being lazy.. you not too far gone. -Damn homie back in high school you was the man homie -"I mean that’s not a glow down, just picked up weight. Solution is to pick up weights. You could look better if you wanted" - Hit some weights do better. Get back into whatever it was you once loved that kept you from being a fatty. -All you gotta do is lose the weight. You’re a good looking fella. Nobody can see it because you’re overweight. -I think your adorable. -Did you meet your dad yet? -"What the f*ck is a glow down? Sounds awful. - -Your handsome so you’re lucky there. You need to start following David Goggins. Lift brother lift! - -You’ve packed on the mass.. that’s good. Now start molding that mass into muscle! You’re gonna be a giant! Girls are gonna drool when you walk by. Basic body resistance stuff at home. Find Pat Mac on Instagram if you run out of ideas. - -No soda. No beer. Water? Ok! Coffee? Black only. Tea? Black only. - -Cheers!" -Lose a few pounds a week and in about a year you’ll see your dick again. -Fat fuck -I... feel too sad for you to roast you :( -"no roast - -idk if ur bulking but u should body build ur person - -come up be real, no diddy\* but u could pull biddies unless ur just a odd fellow in general - -glow back up mane, ive never been that wieght (no diss) so i cant really say much - -but know, a better daily life, shit a long full life is possible - -not that weight is what makes you U! - -deff has a play tho - -ur young, thank god ur not a older set person, after a certain point gaining weight like that is hard to bypass - -YOU ARE YOUNG , TAKE ADVANTAGE BROSKI" -Na fam you ate that kid in high school this is a blow up. -First pic came to 2nd pics school: “He doesn’t even go here!” -Scp-3199 -Did you eat the others in your graduating class? -"That’s OK, Covid was rough on all of us. You can turn it around!" -Looks like he's smuggling a big piece of ham and some pork belly -If you ever need money sell some breast milk from them udders -R u on a year long bulk or just fat -"Glow down?, more like a blown up" -Titties! -"Glow down, blow up, potato potato" -Hit the gym before its too late! -Dont be so hard yourself bitch tits -Wow first pic thought it was an ugly chick great transformation -At least your tits and chin share the same bra size -Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure your World of Warcraft account gained as much weight as you did. -Don’t feel bad about those budding bosoms. you’re at that age where ur becoming a woman now. that’s all. Bet your mums are so proud 🥹 -Best shot for you is probably Ozempic -Bro was so focused on eating he couldn’t put the Roast Me postage up the correct way -Damn bro did you travel back in time and eat yourself -Which photo did you think was the good one? Both photos are of some ugly guy. -Dude… you look like you lost brain cells somehow -Damn I’ll bet if you passed somebody from ur high school in public they wouldn’t even know it was you 💀 -I'll pass...if I roast you then I gotta invite the whole neighborhood over. No way I could eat that much long pork by myself. -"There are people who play basketball, there are people who don't play basketball, and then there are people who are basketballs" -Nice tits -Figures you'd put the before pic second. -"Speaking of chubby, those titties are giving me a chubby." -Dang Bobby from King of the Hill is all grown up now -Give me my wok back. -I see you’re still wearing the same shirts from high school too. -If you thought you were glowing in high school you've got a dark future -Bro went from Matty B to Nikocado Avocado in 12 months -Looking like you went from basketball star to cosplaying the basketball -thought it was a before and after picture before I read the title -"You may have had a glow down, but your tits definitely had a glow up!" -Don't know what you ate to get like that but it sure wasn't pussy -"Did you eat the valedictorian? - -We know that you ain’t it" -This is just the embodiment of sadness. -Belly like a bin bag full of custard -Did you just put your recent victim in the second picture or what -"no roast, just pity." -Roast you? Oh buddy I think you've had enough roast. -"You always had the potential, but it's just now you're reaching for the stars. Deep fried, filled to the brim with lard Stars." -You look like you slap a mean bass -Oh shit -"Skinny and face like a dropped pie -fat and a face like two dropped pies" -Glow down? I think you mean blow up. -Dude just stop eating ffs. It's not that hard. -So many folds they should call you Origami. -When are you expecting? -peaked in hs -Why does your high school pants have a piss spot? 🤔 -"your features didn’t actually changed much, it’s just that you ate your 4 year old and their lunch." -"Your clothes have reached capacity , at this point it’s a fire hazard" -You look like Japanese fishermen should be hunting you into extinction. -More like a glow out -How many places have you eaten out of business? -I bet even looking at that indoor hoop behind you wears you out now. -By glow do you mean gain lots of weight cause sir you are the Emperor of BitchTitsVille! -Alex Jones warned us that the chemicals in the water would make these. -A bit... -The living embodiment of “peaked in high school.” -I think you lost this *hands you a jawline* -looks like you graduated to a couple of D's -At least you're less likely to be kidnapped -Ugly -glowed down blowed up -"Just because you can eat something, doesn’t mean you should eat it." -You look like you hang out with Kyle Rittenhouse. -Ace Venchurro -Looks like someone corrected the fact you used to think broccoli was donut holes. Could've happened to anybody. -When is the baby due? Good thing is you’ll never have to buy formula. -"You look like that kind of guy that goes to the gas station kiosk to buy a Mars, gets pissed off because they run out and so revenge buy 3 Twix" -"You looked like shit then, you look like bigger, half-melted shit now." -You look like the whitewashed version of nikocado avocado -Ted from 60 seconds!!!! -No roasting here would top your own disappointment on how things turned out. -Congratulations! Third trimester? -Wish Kyle Rittenhouse -Looks like in high school you wanted to be slim shady but after graduating ended up doing the opposite. -You took personal growth way too literally. -He has bigger titties than the average America’s next top model. -Roasting this pig would be like 60% crackling. -Blubba sparks -Bruh… Looks more like a blow up vs a glow down. -You look like a life size rotisserie chicken on 2 feet 😂 -A bit? -Tell me youre a gamer without telling me youre a gamer -Looks like you took steroids cuz you thought it would level your video game characters faster -You were fat.. 80 lbs ago. -“… a bit…” is the understatement of the year… -Where's the glow down? You just went from skinny ugly to fat ugly. -A bit? That’s a whole different person -Damn son. You went from Tom Hardy to Tom Arnold. -"You don't need to roast my guy, you need a life coach, id suggest talking to someone and maybe get into therapy, you look depressed." -After high school? Looks like you ATE the high school -I doubt your looks are the only thing that have gone downhill since high school. -Can't be a glow down if you didn't glow to begin with -I see you’ve switched to wearing the backpack on the front -Post estrogen treatment -That’s more of a blow up than a glow down. -Basket belly -"Well the good news is it wasn’t a freshman 15, more of a freshman 50." -Glow down? You started/continued Eating like a garbage can you mean -At least you got the tits you look like you dreamed about in high school -Going for that Josh Duggar ima touch your kids look I see. -We're you baptized at Sea World? -Only 6 more off the 7 deadly sins to go. -No way that’s the same dude. You got so fat your eyebrows changed shape and color?? What the time lapse in this? 2 years? 5 years? 10? -If you glow any downer you’ll be a high school -You look like you after you ate your high school self -"Glow down nah -You had a whole light down" -A bit? -When you leave the candle burning too long. -Went from “Can I have your number?” to “Can I have your leftovers?” -Think the only thing glowing is your microwave light -Looks like you done roasted and ate high school you -More like a bit of a blow up -I’ve heard of people absorbing their twin but this is ridiculous -"You better get back on the Adderall fast go back to school take some extra credit add-on optional phys-ed classes before someone titty fucks you. - -8====○ ~~ ~ ( ° )( ° ) - - -Fat Damon's tittes getting smashed." -"""A bit""😭" -Them tiddies are on the glow down now -Why are your tits nicer than mine? 🥲 Men never appreciate what they have. -I’d say you ain’t gonna chase any bitches but the only thing you chasing is a Big Mac that fell off the table -His metabolism gave up on life harder than he did -I can now confirm that black men are attracted to fat white women -It's not earth that pulls you you pull on the earth -"You should wear a bra, then tiddies are already saggy." -Fuckin Chuck Norris -"your tits were spot on! -now just meh." -"Not too late to turn it around. Diet first, then exercise 👍" -Make sure to rotate the insulin shots because you’ll end up with painful bruises if you don’t. -I was hoping this was a before and after. Not a now and then. -Glow down being the result due to not being able to put the burger down -comment -27 years old? Are you not counting the years you were frozen in the ice? -Someone needs to unga your bunga -You look like a police sketch homie… -How can you be a virgin when you've clearly been f*cked hard by genetics? -Maybe evolution isn’t real -What was the Stone Age like? -We might as well go ahead and update next year’s RoastMe from you now; 28 Year Old Virgin. -"Bro missed the 150,000 BC system update." -Youre the second guy on the evolution chart -"Don’t worry, you will find your Homo neanderthalensis bad bitch" -"If you had lived during the early paleolithic, human evolution might have been a dead end" -This is why siblings shouldn’t fuck. -I loved when you played a line cook in the movie Waiting bro -You look like your job is to drop from the ceiling and say UGH-ERGH every time Mario gets too close -America's Most Unwanted. -"This dude got whole heads of hair above each of his eyelids, goddamn." -"Damn your ugly, sorry let me translate - ooga booga ooga ooo" -darwin should have seen you.. -You look as if Ron Perlman had a son with a Sasquatch -Put the phone down and get back under your bridge!!! -You look like a parent on the GTA Online selection screen. -"Nothing I could say would have the psychological effect on your inability to get laid that looking in the mirror wouldn't drive home. - - -Edit: mom: we've got Luis Guzmán at home" -Back to cave paintings it is -"Thats a very aggressive face you have, unlucky mate." -Somewhere a natural history museum exhibit is missing a caveman statue. -"Jose Camelle   - - -Puerto Rican Joe Camel   - - -Also,  - - -*47" -27 year old Skyrim npc* -Well. Get ready. One day you’re going to be a 67 year old virgin too -"You hunt Sabre tooth tigers, but you're scared of a woman." -How the fuck are your eyes so close to the top of your head???? -You look like Donkey from Shrek. -What's in your mouth? -U don’t need help with that u been doing great without us -Evolution left your ass behind -You look like a Puerto Rican grinch. -Not surprised at 27yr old virgin. Guy looks like he's tossing up between vanilla domestic violence and full on canabalising any woman nearby -I've never seen anyone look simultaneously hairy and hairless at the same time it's actually frightening how much you look like planet of the apes -You look like 27 old virgin In BC -You can easily find a comfort in a company of men -Your head looks like it belongs on Easter Island. -"""Oonga-boonga""- this dude's pick-up line" -You look like me if I had made worse decisions in life -Was that going to happen or something? -Virginity good. Fire bad. -Save some air for the rest of us -"Ooga wooga, boooga ooga ooga wooga" -U look like a human colored Shrek -Well check on my guy here- these comments are rough -Mexican Andre the Giant -Might get lucky on Aboriginiesmeet.com or prehistoriclove.net -You misspelled 57 -Go bangkok bro -"Mofo look like a got damn hedgehog. - -27?!?! FOH!!!!" -I loved you in planet of the apes! -I’ve never seen a Neanderthal wax their eyebrows. -Your quest for fire is much more important than women. -Who sent a phone back to the stone age? -How many towers you gonna run into in your life time? -"I always wanted to know what Uncle Fester looked like before he lost all of his hair. - -I think the baldness is more becoming." -You look like what a crime lord picks up in the discount bin at Henchmen R’ Us -"Gives off an aura of an early form of modern human inhabiting Europe in the late Paleolithic Period, from about 40,000 to 10,000 years ago, characterized by a broad face and tall stature." -"Who needs confidence, when you've got a club?" -"Brother errrgh, what did your nose do to your face. -On the plus side, you can smell a Sunday roast on a Tuesday" -You ever dress up in animal skins and stand still in museums then make moves to freak people out? -he got those murder eyes -Glad to see you're not walking on your knuckles anymore -hit the gym... insanely hard. lose all fat on ur face -Y’all with the comments!!! 🤣🤣🤣 -"I'm sure he's the monkey king, the one Jackie Chan was searching for in the movies." -Evolution ain't done with this guy. -Here's to 27 more 😆 -27 year old virgin describes your last victim more than it does you. -Roasting you would be so easy a caveman could do it -"If only your dad could say the same, we'd all be better off" -Proof that the Neanderthals never died out. -"27?? Bro looks 10,000" -You sure you 27? -Did you pop another discount blowup doll you got from your AI bot girlfriend's merch ad and get on here for pity cause she even she is faking glitches? We all see it on your face Mr.Flintstone! Man up! -I’ll say this about every woman you have ever met: she is discerning and has great taste! -What do you have in the bag? Another 9/11? -Mod from the Incel Forum -" You don't need us to lower your confidence anymore when it comes to getting a girl, aint gonna ever happen anyway" -"I would, but I don't speak caveman" -"Bro, I've seen fat ugly guys with ladies, even ones with bad BO. - -You'll find someone." -Your fashion sense is so outdated that even time itself couldn't keep up. -you’d go great in a sewer somewhere -Dudes eyes look evil. I bet no women come within 1 million miles of him. -"If you have enough for a nose job, you might end up being one of the hottest men in your city. Those eyes and brows are obvious hot guy looks. Chad Michael Murray got a nose job and it changed his look slightly and then he became a superstar. If you have the money, check it out…. That’s what I’m saving up for too. Good luck." -How does he have the same look on his face in all his photos -Thank you for proving evolution -Well I guess we found the missing link -I thought Neanderthals went extinct thousands of years ago? -What was the Paleolithic era like? -We found the missing link -All I have to say is this your cooked my boi 👉🏽🐒🦧🐵 -What ethnicity are you so I can find the right slur -I’m 3 years older than you yet you look 47 man you’re scaring the hoes -You mean 47 -If i would be a woman i wouldn't fuck with you either. -Wait…aren’t you the new geico caveman? -" you look like you got the face of a politician, and got the ""I-can-smile-through-any-scandal"" vibe, like you're one handshake away from giving handys for votes" -Dani Alves from temu -"27, yeah oh okay there 51 year old incel" -Are you sure your mother actually gave birth to you and didn't just take a dump? -"last neanderthaler alife, maybe u can get some pussy with this phrase." -Bro is like Derek Zoolander. He can only make one face -You look like you'll taste your own dry cum socks in a dumb and dumber Bollywood movie -"It's not the worst 27 club you could be in, you know." -🗿 -You look like a character creation default screen from a solo developer -"Do you live in a cave or just masterbate wildly in one while watching the ""hoomans"" from afar?" -You look like the product of a wild night between Luis Guzman and a troll. -"No need to tell us you're a virgin, dude, we can see that" -Which one are you? Bert or Ernie -So that’s what happened to Harambe -Mate you could have the confidence of Mohamed Ali and with a face like that you will be the virgin world record holder for the next 12 generations. -You look like you wouldn't give a woman the choice. -Aren't you suppose to be friends with the Hendersons. -You made a mistake. You said 27 instead of 47. -You the dad from the croods -"bro im 28 and you look like you could be my dad, something doesnt add up" -Looks like a mad APE that got his face flattened by a shovel -"27 you know ""massage parlors"" are a thing and some have a happy ending. Proudly proclaiming virginity at 27 is slightly sad. Go get your rocks off buddy, you might not be hear tomorrow and you don't want your last regret to be something so benign." -"Anytime you go in public just spray paint your mouth silver and yell, I’m ready for Valhalla" -You look like an Iranian cave troll. -"Ungabunga, i bet you still have that wooden bat somewhere." -READY PLAYER ONE -"No roasting. Loosen your face, dont be serious. Embrace masculinity. Grow a beard, theres definitely a look for you" -Damn Planet of The Apes movies are so lifelike -You couldn't get a woman wet with a bucket of water. -You look like every drink you hand a woman is drugged. -The last pic is some definite ape shit -Homie needs to get on NeanderthalMeet.com -So the Easter Island Heads do have bodies... -Where did you buried the body? -"""What's this then, sluuut?""" -So you never dragged a girl by her hair to your cave?! -I’m a guy and is be scared to approach u -Your nostrils are so large that if you can’t get laid you could probably be repurposed into an industrial air conditioner. -Guess it's not so easy a caveman can do it. -Slowmez Addams -"I don’t think I need to roast you for you not to have confidence, have you seen yourself?" -"Even with all the confidence in the world no woman would want you, unless they happen to be attracted to men who look twice their actual age." -You look like you fucked Mammoth pussy -27 decades old. -You should get a talking donkey as a pet -Your nose so big nasa considered each nostril new planets -Did you pay somebody to do that to your eyebrows? -Harambee has been reincarnated! -You from Easter island by any chance -It seems Night at the Museum is real. I hope you're not a pyromaniac. -27?? You forgot to post this 30 years ago huhh -"Fred the hippo, the only women you meet are 10 y.o. girls at the zoo. NO-NOOOO" -Ok who fucked Luis Guzman?? -Not enough info. Come back when you have enough xp to unlock different facial expressions. -Leave some Neanderthal for the rest of us -I bet he refers to himself as Cro-Magnum -Homo erectus ahh stare -"Spend some cash on a hooker. Missing out, bro." -Just smile one time -"RCF - -Resting Caveman Face - -But seriously, buck up, Grog. Someone’s gonna feign attraction for that Geico money." -Bro your neanderthal is sticking out -Planet of the what???? -Unfrozen Caveman lawyer's son the unfrozen Caveman car salesman. -Life has roasted you enough. Go to a sexworker and get it out of the way. -Prequel to 40 Year Old Virgin. -I didn't know that excessive masturbation makes you look that old. -"Stop watching porn, go to the gym, eat healthy, start being friends with girls, don't hit on them, just be friends with them. Dress nice, make them laugh, listen when they speak, ask them questions, get food with them, talk about other girls around them, drink alcohol with them." -Wannabe Dani Alves but without the flare or the footwork. -"So, how far are you not allowed around playgrounds with children under the age of 16?" -Just go pay for it. You can be their first too. Idk how many get a chance with a cro-magnon man. -Bro took being a day 1 to real but if I were you bro take advantage of that hit the gym and just go crazy with the character build -"Damn bro, if Disney remade Addams Family, they’d cast you as the ethnic uncle fester" -Homo erectus lookin ass -"Bro why would you say these things. It's going to be ok. Jeez do you have a horrible personality or something? talking to women should be like talking to a friend. Once you make a woman feel comfortable, it opens the door to everything. Learn my brother, grow." -That 27 looks like 47 -Mongo only pawn in game of life -Have you tried clubbing them and dragging them back to your cave? -Nigga you look like my big toe -Temu Lou Ferrigno -Bro looks like he hasn’t evolved -"Are there any adult theater/adult video stores in your area? How about sex positive clubs? - -At age 49 I had a body count of 6 and just before I turned 69, I am now at 161. - -I didn't have to work too hard for it and didn't spend allot of money either. - -Also, at parties that can occur in which the women in question are looking for multiple playtimes, the math works out very well. Also, it is fun to watch the action and get in after being ''well warmed up'' first! - -Also, I have met 4 women who I took to such events and helped the get double digit orgasms." -what even is this? -Shouldn't you be eating someone's pet in Ohio right now? -"The Mirror Roast you enough, we don't gotta Do shit" -"Oh buddy, even without roasting, I’m sure there is zero chance of that…" -"You have the face of a criminal. You are why profiling was invented. I'd suggest plastic surgery all over, and let's be honest you fucked you mum/sister." -"It is not about your confidence. Piece of advise, pay a hooker." -You probably use the infamous inkwell forum -Primate change denier. -"So it *is* true, neanderthals *do* walk amongst us!" -Necrophilia is the art.of not telling. But we still know what you did... -"We found the missing link? Call NASA, sorry dont know who to call Charles Darwin is dead" -"Have you tried losing some weight? Shaving those massive things might cut a few pounds. It would also add some extra forehead, in case you're interested." -Zippy the Pinhead -"Prepare for 27 more years of virginity. You look like your missing a few links there, Grog." -Don't listen to them. They're only mean to you because they're jealous of you.. 🤥 -"From one look at you, siblings must not count huh?" -Oh my god its the grasshopper from the live action bugs life film -"Don't worry, you have nothing to fear in that department." -Wtf is wrong with people why wouldn't any man want confidence with a women and not be happy or need random people to put them down. Surround yourself with things that make you happy. -You don’t need to worry about confidence. No women will ever come close enough for that to have an effect -So easy even a caveman can do it. -“you’re easy to draw” -Benzino may be your father -Why can’t you go out and pay for it man wth -Virgin? I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it if I were you… -Mercy handjob because your face actually has a really unique character. -Stop masturbating and go out and meet someone. -Ever heard the term 'you have a kind face'? Well your face is whatever the opposite of that is -we have finally developed a cheap male contraceptive and it's you! -My guy never got the update -"Boy, Dani Alves sure had a rough time in prison" -Even the most low down street hookers rejects him. -Wtf -\*47 Year Old Virgin -"Dude, count on staying one !" -… everyone beat me to it -You look like kevin gates -"When you die, the 72 virgins you were promised will look at you and say “nope.”" -You look like the uglier brother of Dani Alves with no money -"Looks like her gets women, forcibly" -I didn't know The Cartels did insurance advertising! -Only a virgin if you don’t include animals. -Those must have been a ROUGH 27 years. -It’s not your outsides. You’re attractive enough to get laid. It’s obviously just who you are as a human being. Change that and you’re golden. -You look like someone maxed out the sizes on every facial option on create-a-character -Nostrildamus lookin muphucca… -Did Cartman find you in the ice? -You look like Lou ferrigno. Sure he got tons of bitches. -They say most people can have up to 2% Neanderthal DNA. You are the other way around. You have 2% human DNA -"You look like that one mafia cousin, who no one can tell secrets, too and angers the boss but cant be touched cause he promised your mother to look after you!" -"Bundling your home and car insurance is so easy, even this guy could do it" -Are you cosplaying as a 47 year old virgin? -Just smile more -You Are Actually A Good Looking Guy Doe 🤷🏾‍♀️ -"Look at yourself in the mirror man, normally there's nothing that should give you confidence.." -"You look like a European from 20,000BC -No hate though 👍" -You should try a laxative for that constipation -Spokes person for geico looking ass -A face only a Cro-Magnon mother could love ... -Fake assault allegations should be enough to make you never have confidence with a woman. -u look like ur fucking 50 years old bro -That’s a weird way to type 43 year old virgin -You look like you could be an even more obnoxious version of Andy Bernard from The Office. -It make a lot of sense you are a virgin -"Obviously, you’ve never met P. Diddy" -You look like a fan of struggle cuddles -You mean 27 million yes? -Torres straight out outta Cretaceous period -27 years of what ? Work ? Damnnn -Your teeth are so fucked you won’t show them. They’re worse than your face I bet. -Maybe if you've got rid of that yee-yee ass haircut you'd get some bitches on yo dick -"You look like you dont mind taking young boys their virginity, so i doubt that you are actual virgin." -Have you had a stroke? -The missing link. -Can you list your crimes under each mugshot? That might help your dating profile -You look like you hit women for very small things. -Those are the rapiest eyes I’ve ever fucking seen -Your face is a form of contraception -27 or 47? -They hide the coke when this fella turns up at the party. -You look like 42 years old virgin -37* -You still have to ask to be roasted how are other people friendly? -Just tell women you're Benzino. Youll get laid eventually. Prolly a couple of restraining orders as well but who cares!! -So we’re not counting all the back alley raping? -"No you aren't, you're lying" -Have you tried bonking them over the head with a club? -A reddit post won't be a proof of age certificate. -Jesus Christ!! Dani Alves is trying everything to escape prison. Nice try Alves. -"I can't find it in the Reddit GIFs but you look like the alien that says ""Hi I'm Paul!""" -Try talking to women instead of clubbing them and dragging them into a bush by there hair. -"You should be more confident, as you have a bright future ahead of you as Walter White’s car wash manager." -"27 year old “consent” virgin, you’ve never heard yes" -"You’re just one nose job away for a new life. -(hitman, who’s name’s nose)" -Harambe lives! -Dani Alves is that you? -You could be a break out star…In a documentary about cavemen. -More like 40 year old Virgin -"“Look at this, the family of early man” - Tony Soprano" -I’ve seen pokemon that look more like a real person than you -27 ? In dog years ???? -27 in Virgin years but looking more like 47 in normal years. You could easily be a senior citizen on Grinder or Christian Booty.com -Prostitution is your friend -You’re easily 38 -Dani Alves got out from jail? -You’ll gain no confidence from women anyways bro -"Hell yeah, the GEICO caveman got a haircut." -Brada you laalaa... You really a Sista girl yeah? -comment -"""I give full permission"" - -I guess sometimes consent isn't sexy.." -You look the way I would imagine Jeffrey Dahmer's daughter to look like -Photo taken in the Subaru Dealership lobby -Nice tits… dude? -"i can't tell if that's a bulge, a fupa, or a bulging fupa.." -"The lesbian look isn’t working, go back to being a guy." -You look like the female version of Paul Dano. -The Raw Skank Redemption -What Jay Leno searches for on PornHub. -I can hear the sound of your huge bush rubbing on denim echoing in the halls as you're on your way to your recovering sex offender anonymous meeting -Lesbian mom cos play. -When I seen you I was like yeah!… I’d hit it!.. but unfortunately for you I meant with a bat… sorry -What color is your Subaru outback -"Get off reddit and go back to writing reviews on Yelp saying ""I haven't been there yet so I'm not sure what to think""" -You look like a lesbian truck driver from the 80's...please don't beat me up. -You know you've given up hope when you're on r/roastme sporting Kirkland jeans -What Women’s Correctional Facility was this taken in? -125% Canadian -Jesus. Are you wearing a denim thong too? -NPR-famous. -"With a winning outfit like that, I’d bet your schedule is as full as that trophy case." -This is the most lesbian thing I have ever seen. -Are your pronouns This/That? -Boss fight: King Lesbian -Janitor for a prison vibes -The whole combined cast of stranger things all rolled into one person. -Nice Paul Dano cosplay... -Looks like she is the best man at a Canadian wedding ... -I hear they have hair care products these days. -Looks like an extra on napoleon dynamite -Ellen degenerate. -You look like a Subaru outback’s spirit animal -Are you in a male or female prison? -"You would be an averagely attractive young man in the 1970s, before the internet and proper diets were available" - You and that sad empty throphy case behind you go will together -No. Why don’t you just tell me how much my oil change is going to be? Thanks. -"Paul Dano, is that you." -I bet you theres an 80’s muff trapped in that Canadian cage. -In what jeanal colony are you housed? I’d love to be your penpal. -You look like an alcoholic elementary art teacher in all that denim -"Lesbian on top, single mom on the bottom." -I assume insults just slide off the grease on your face. -You look like one of the lesbians who build the closets other gay people come out of. -Things went poorly after your “mmmbop “ hit? -You look like an inmate in Mormon jail. -"Bro, how do you get such a close shave?" -"The Google image results for ""the antonym of MILF""" -I thought it was cool the way Billy Madison covered for you when you peed your pants -"Billie Jean is not my lover… - -She’s just a girl who claims that she is a man…" -You look like you cry on tik tok when someone calls you a woman -"The jeans say ""mom"", but how far up they're hiked screams ""grandpa""." -Bill Gates with tits -Look at the size of those fingers. She must be like the John Holmes of the lesbian world. -Nice pants why do you wear them up to your tits -What color is your Subaru and is it a vote for Bernie sticker or a Biden-Harris sticker? -If Brokeback Mountain needed one more dude for a threesome… you’d have been the man for the job. -Napoleon dynamites cousin. -You know that affliction that happens to some guys who have a bad reaction to Viagra where they have an erection that won’t go away? You’re the cure. -If your nose held any more oil the US would have already started 3 proxy wars and invaded your face. -Why are your fingers so long? -"You look like a side character in OITNB called ""Big Martha""." -Buster Bluth wannabe -https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/bed79071-a3f3-4840-afa0-f4d9470abd34/gif -You look like your name is buck and you sell time alone with coma patients then hand the customer a tub of ky jelly. -Are you a Super Huge Mega-Lesbian?.......Meg. -The denim-on-denim Canadian tuxedo is a nice touch -I think I see the outline of your penis in those jeans. -Dyke credentials confirmed! -You’re that dude from dazed and confused! -Do you have a more recent picture that was not taken in 1998? -"It's Ernest P. Worrel mid transition! - -http://heyvernitsernest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Jim-varney.jpg" -Gay Leno -13 year old boy or 50 year old lesbian? -Aren't you that fella from Mr beast -Is your face shiny because all the grease dripping from your hair? -"Jeffrey Dahmer, if he a was transwoman." -U look like u subscribe to goodwill so u can shop 1 hr earlier than opening hrs and this is the fit u found -You look like you throw up your food enough to be “skinny” yet you still have a FUPA -"""First look at Napoleon Dynamite 2 is disappointing fans.""" -I really enjoyed your performance as the riddler in the last batman!! -Is that a picture of you in prison or are you dressed that way to let other women know that you're the man in the relationship? -If you’re not trans than I sincerely feel bad for you… 😬 -"You look like you are biologically they/them, but identify as the saddest woman in the mid-west. - -. - -Also I can't help but notice how your jacket is so rigid that turning it at the bottom also turns it up top. I know WHO hurt it... but HOW did you hurt that jacket..??" -How can you roast someone so mediocre and average!?! -Your pronouns are “What” -You wear pants like your used to having a wedgie. -Ellen Degeneres wants to know your location. -"Damn. Looks like you’ve been busy roasting yourself, Jeffrey dahmer. Also, nobody gives a shit about your “permission” lol" -"You hitchhiked with a trucker, offed him, took his clothes, his truck, and his identity." -I can already tell you don't shut up about being lgbtq and neurodivergent. Probably top of the Instagram bio just above BLM or something similar -This picture smells like hot dog water. -"I knew that y’all think of Dammer 🤣," -"Undercover Canadian Lesbian, or UNCLE as they’re known, a slippery bunch" -imagine being attractive and not dating me. i know youre single jeffrey dahmer head ahh -So should i marinate him. Before roasting? -"She finally scape prison and that’s the first outfit she can find, denim on denim 🤣" -you look like you have a dirty microwave -For starters what the hell are you? -Roast what? All I see is a disembodied head floating on a sea of Walmart denim. -You look like Paul dano if he ate nothing but oestrogen -Winner of the Jeffery Dahmer lookalike contest. -"Whichever way you are transitioning, I'd ask the doctor for a refund..." -We went from Rosie the Riveter and “Yes we can” to Dusty the Musty and “I’d rather not” -I'm gonna need a (M)/(F) identifier first I'm afraid. -Whoa Paul Dano isn't looking too good these days -Am I roasting a she/he and he/they? Wtf am I at least roasting? I just can't tell. -"Would you pose for me? I'm making a Coffee Table Book. It's a pictorial book called ""Lesbian Butts in 80's Mom Jeans""...Should be pretty popular in Subaru Dealerships and Home Improvement classes." -You look like you eat peanut and sunflower seed shells and then get surprised when you’ve got hemorrhoids the next day -Peter Pan:San Francisco -Peter Pan and the Lost They's -When do you get out? -She does not care about her appearance or what you think. -"Not sure if I'd fuck you, or you'd fuck me" -M or F? I have no idea. -You look like a prison inmate taking a break from stamping license plates? -" -You look like you work at a Goodwill in an LGBTQ plus community" -You look like a pro life activist for racoons -U look like somebody mom and dad at the sametime -"This is like a dark universe version of Mathew McConaughey... but without charm, good looks, or a captivating stare...replaced with meth, prison gear, and a blended look of confusion and disgust." -"generic art teacher - -No hate though, I'm tech ed and can't do nearly as much artsy stuff" -So when do we get to do arts and crafts ? -It's Pat!! -"Hands say man, face says man/woman. It’s 50/50 on this one." -Nice Canadian Tuxedo you’re wearing…🙄 -"""Give full permission"" - -You do look like the type who asks for consent even when you finger yourself." -You’re cool! -"You would be sold to sex trafficking, just to be a janitor in the brothel." -The lesbian auntie we all wanna have 🥰 (this is actually a compliment) -This is why I collect brown paper bags from the grocery store. Works wonders when having sex with someone like this. Desperate times call for desperate measures. -"You look like every single women from ""Shameless"" put into one" -Can't see it in the picture but I bet you have one of those flat lesbian asses don't you. Do women hit on you a lot? -Her first time giving consent. -A former librarian inside a prison wearing a denim prisoner outfit. She went to prison for stealing books. -That's a lot of Ritalin in your jacket pocket. I guess school is a great place to move product. Smart move posting your illegal activity on reddit. Wait.. Is that even more in a diaper?? Nice. I'll bet those probably aren't even tits. -"you're literally dressed like a middle american, evangelical, stay at home mom from 1994. And thats funny because you probably consider yourself an edgy lesbian." -"Guy: Say something sexy - -You (robotic, baritone voice): I GIVE FULL PERMISSION - -Guy: You know what, on second thought… - -You: LOVE ME!!" -Female Jeffrey Dahmer -Confession - I’ve always hated how much larger your penis is than mine. -I thought that Jeffrey Dahmer died… Looks like he is growing his hair out? -I have a deep feeling there's females' pubic hairs stuck between your teeth gaps. Maybe a smiling pic for confirmation? -mental hospital selfie -Nice outfit Denim Dan. -I finally get what a they/them is! -Denim Dan or Denim Dana? -"The 1980’s called, they want their double denim back." -You look trans -Nice post Pat. -Jeffery dalmer looking -"Black is not pink black is not orange -Orange isn't the new black and -These Jean suits are totally les no matter -What ? -Oh your simple that's OK it don't have to be complex" -Omg it’s that guy that played DeepFuckingValue! -I bet you say that to ALL the guys! -"No SIR, I will not roadt you!" -You look like a guy who just started work at an auto shop -Are u some kinda denim spokesperson -Plz cut yo fingernails n stop scratching yo crotchhh🙃 -Are you a guy or a girl? -Button back up and stop pointing that thing at me....yikes -Paul Dano's lesbian twin -Paula Dano -You are girl right? -I can’t tell if your a man or a women just lick pick one maybe if you had better glasses you would see what I’m talking about -Stranger things ahh character -I’ll let that denim do it for you -You look like Kris/chris from Mr beast -Nice Canadian tuxedo -"Sir, this is a Wendy's" -Canadian Tuxedo. -"Ya'll, Trevor Lawrence found r/RoastMe!" -Why does that dude have mom jeans on? -Canadian Tuxedo -You look familiar to my friend... -"Bruh, what are you?" -Fuckin Denim Danielle on her way to audition for the live action Meg Griffen 😅 -"Matt Friend is really getting good at these impressions. His ""Lisa Kudrow from early Friends episodes"" is unreal." -Glad to see someone’s following in Jay Leno’s footsteps -Jean Jacket -Get back to the woodshop with Red and Heywood. -Jeffery Dahmer role play on point ! -"So, how bad are your Wattpad fanfictions?" -Temus version of Rhea bloody Ripley -You enjoy toilet wine? -"If Daniel Day Lewis invites you to a private bowling alley, go." -"No, I haven't drunk Bailey's out of a shoe." -"I can't tell if you're transitioning to female or male, but either way, nobody ever looked good in that much denim." -Wynona Ryder impersonating Adam Driver at a flea market on SNL -No need to roast you cuz you look roasted by sugar daddy -“Im in my mums car. Broom broom” -You look like a woodwork teacher and student at the same time. -I am sorry but my mom says I am not allowed to burn trash...... But says nothing about sending it straight to hell -Told they were missing a gene. Decided to try and make up for it in their wardrobe. -You look like I’d give ya $45 an hour and $150 per diem as a welder -It's that dude from the movie Looper! You were great! -"I thought snl retired ""it's pat"" years ago" -You’re a woman no matter how bad you don’t wanna be -Tell me your born in 1980s with out telling me your born in the 1980s -Your mom wore those jeans better. -Sweet Tennessee tuxedo. -You ain’t no ape you a troglodyte -If Steve Jobs was reincarnated as a lesbian you’d be it -Paul Dano is trans? -Canadian tuxedo! Going somewhere special tonight darlin’ -It’s no fun with your consent :P -Denim Dan by day Jeffrey Dahmer by night. -How cute!! Are you taking testosterone supplements? How far are you on your journey? -This roast will be bland. -God alredy roasted u -"In 6 months, they'll be posting pictures of their nose ring." -Nice prison fit -Canadithem -More denim would make this outfit so much better. Eg. Denim bag to cover the face. -Nice Jeffrey Dahmer cosplay -"That one lesbian not even lesbians are interested in. - -Edit: Also, do you use grease to wash your hair? There's this thing called a ""shower"". You should try it." -Jeffry Dahmer ? -That face is very mundane -A devils reject…reject -Jeff Bezos wearing a wig???? -Leader of the Librarians gang at the Canadian correctional center for wayward they/thems. -Doooo you smell what they cooking -Even Trans women are like this bitch ain't no woman. -"Double Denim -Not bothering" -You the type of it to move to Japan the day you turn 18 and weird out all the natives -You look like you would smell like dog breath -guys this might be carolyn kopp -Wouldn't wanna share a bag with you with that pecker you call a nose -"She looks like Jimmy Corkhill, who wears double Denim? Where’s Cracker 😂😂" -Trans Paul Dano -"You look like one of the Outsiders, stay gold pony boy" -You look like the human equivalent of training wheels. -You look like you can taste the rainbow -no. -Like we need your permission to talk shit about your Grandma jeans... -So how many people are in the lesbian or gay polyamorous relationship? -"Tried to be lesbian because men didn't want you, now unsure as what to do as lesbians aren't interested either." -"Paul Dano, what's your method for becoming a lesbian in your upcoming movie?" -You look like you could nose-fuck an asshole two states away. -You look like Pat from SNL -73%leanbeefpatty -Lesbian auto body worker -You are the most ugliest gof awful most disgusting saddest excuse of a human I’ve ever seen . I feel bad for your ancestors your teacher and peers and co workers I feel bad for anyone who laid eyes upon this post please and I beg of you please remove yourself from reality -The only roast you should be worried about is the burn from all that denim rubbing on that un-toned skin. -Why do you look like that -That denim jeans is roasting itself at this point -What’s up good looking? -You look like the dude in Degrassi that shot Drake -You got the dike starter kit! -You look like android 18 made in china -Canada called. They want their Canadian tuxedo back. -This is probably the coolest shirt you own. -This is Wes Anderson. -"No, no thanks to easy." -"You look like you were dressed by an indie film costume designer, except when the film plays at its local festival, it's met with a resounding, ""ehh...""" -"No thanks, I gotta this tooth pulled rq." -When you Google 'androgynous blob' -🎶She’s bringing prison back🎶 -You were great in There Will be Blood. Little Miss Sunshine is probably my favorite role you’ve had that I’ve seen. -Lesbian incel. -Bro looks like a discount Major Carter from Stargate SG-1. -You look like you you wrote to Ted Bundy once a week and was in the gallery at his trial. You asked to marry him and he turned you down. -"Sir, why would I roast you? Janitors are also important part of our society." -Your life already have 😏 -Looks.like.bigfoot in heat careful she.may have a.penis in them jeans and balls -You’re a handsome woman. -Jeffrey Dahmers sister -You’re so non-binary you are physically incapable of using a computer -Lesbian Jay Leno -Yes sir! -Do you smell like olives? -“They” -Thanks for you permission sir -You literally look exactly like Jeffrey dohmer and it’s so fuckin hot -You look like you're going to an interview for a janitor position at Levi Strauss. -I give full permission for you to discover other fabrics -Where did you get the Canadian Tuxedo? -If only you could give away everything as easy as that. -Some of us are lucky enough not to have to worry about STD's. -"Can't control bladder, but aggressively wants to fuck after one and a half drinks. 86'ed from every bar in scooter distance." -comment -Did your hairline stay in the old continent? -“Moved continents” is a cute way to say mail order bride. -You look like you test straws for a living -"After seeing this photo, I’m going on to booze and anti depressants" -The only continent you moved from was Jeffrey Epsteins’ Island. -"Judging by where your tits should be, you appear to have put your head on backwards." -"You look like if you marked an ""X"" on your forehead, helicopters could land on it. All while you could smell the pilot's farts with that gargantuan nose." -My sincere condolences for your mom's vagina. -Your eyebrows are on two other continents -How does your tiny fucking neck support that giant fucking head? Like for real. -"There's probably some boring ass ""live, laugh, love."" Poster in your room." -"We know you’re in love with yourself by how much you post on here, unfortunately for you that’s all the love you’re going to find in life." -"""22 years young! 😄"" says every basic preppy white girl" -"I'm so tired of pretty girls posting on here to get roasted. Finally, we have one where that's not the case." -Just post the link. -It's a leper-con! -Amy Whiskyhouse -You've got a forehead on you like a coffee table. -"God damn, you brought a fucking continent with you! That forehead has its own tectonic plates!" -everyone who sees this pic needs booze and antidepressants now thnx -paper mario’s sister. paper maria. -OP sobered up but that hair line still high AF -Did you leave the bottom half of your face behind when you moved? -The chick from goofy movie -I’m assuming that continent you moved away from wasn’t that forehead of yours. -Did a two year old write that -lol - you just told us too too much -Your hairline is a whole continent behind. -"Congrats on your sobriety. Unfortunately, after seeing this photo, I am now drinking booze and taking anti depressants." -Facetune -Your forehead could be a continent... -You guys will park your caravans anywhere 🙄 -r/lonelyfans might be your speed. -Quitter….. -"Don’t worry, You’ll be back to drinking before you know it!" -Barbie privileged edition -Your eyebrows are trying to escape off your head and move back -My phone isn't big enough to see all of your forehead. -Your man needs to get in the kitchen and make you a sandwich. -Looks like you’re training for anorexia -If you were any thinner you would start growing fur -Congrats -"No roast, fucking congrats, that is amazing. Best of luck to you! I’m 1 week sober today. We can do this! -I moved continents for 5 years too, was great! Best." -So….. what’s your OnlyFans name? -With that (lack of) chest I think you should go back to booze and anti-depressants -Horseface and nonexistent tits. Next. -Did you go blind 7 months ago? -Your flat chest is fighting the resistance! -Might need more room to include the entire hairline -"now that i've seen that pic , i need booze and anti depressants....thanks" -"Gave up booze, pills and... Trying." -I don’t know whether to give you a Rogaine or a bag of chips -"You forgot to turn the ring-light off from your last onlyfans stream. - -Look at it this way, when you're too far gone for that, you can still have a job in film as I'm sure you could get work as a portable drive in screen with that forehead." -"I hate that ""blank years young"" crap. I'd need to be on booze and anti depressants for 7 months just to make a pass at you. That being said, when are you gonna stop smokin crystal? That dress isn't bad tho, tho the mop you stole it from is gonna bare its equally skinny ass if you don't give it back. At least the background in the pic is salvageable, those trees are the only things around you that can stay hard." -I’d fuck. That’s not saying much giving my track record of last call booga wolfs. Hmu -I doubt your parents are off booze and anti depressants by the looks of you -Your eyebrows are so high looks like they’re trying to get to another continent themselves just to get away -Young....but your face looks 31 with a makeup on. -">Moved continents - -In other words, you got flewed out for the weekend to get your back blown out. You don't have to lie. - -PS... Do something with that awful hair." -What’s your only fans again? -Damn you are so beautiful... -Seeing you makes me want to get on booze and anti depressants. -The pretty ones are ALWAYS the crazy ones. -Love 💕🌹 -"Cant, love you" -You use.that forehead as a map -Those are the eyes of someone with zero hope -The chances of someone loving you are about as small as that weird space between your lips. -Where’s your neck at? -You don’t have to say “years young” when you’re already young 🤦🏻‍♀️ -Thank god you have your Instagram in your bio so I can block it -They've got a nice view at your rehab facility. -Did you move those continents with your forehead? -"Why does your hairline start behind your ears? - -You look like the type to do an interview while sitting on a couch… - -It looks like someone peeled back your hairline. - -I bet the reason you’re not showing your teeth is because of that interview while sitting on the couch…" -"""She followed the snakes out of Ireland"" is a fancy way of saying she chased a dick abroad" -she looks like my ex who got turned into a meth addict after she cheated on me that lies like she don’t do meth when it’s obvious you malnutrition heifer with those eyebrows are equal opportunist -You still look crazy and your parents still hate you but Give you money to go away. -Moved continents is fitting considering that forehead is reminiscent of Pangea. -You look like you’re not going to age well -"Your eyebrows moved too, bring them down a little bit they are far from face" -And once the harsh crippling reality of life sets back in because you realize you are average looking at best you will start the booze and antidepressants again -Moved continents hey? That’s an interesting way to say you joined the a Taliban. I’m surprised they let you dress like that. I guess not covering your hair won’t be an issue for long because it looks like it’s falling out anyway. -Moving continents was a shorter trip than from your eyebrows to your hairline. -"Told her hairdresser, “give me a Danny DiVito”." -"By ""moved continents"", you mean you nodded your head?" -You should link up with Crip Mac. He’d be hyped on your fivehead. -"""Off anti depressants"" is a shit brag" -I would be on anti depressants if I looked like a monkey eating bananas on a set of stairs -Do guys rest beers 🍺 on the top of your head when you’re giving the same?? -You remember those airhead commercials? How the heads of the kids eating candy would grow warped? I think you have a good shot going to court against those candy dealing bastards. -"Your entire forehead is as big as a continent, you should move there." -"You should probably start drinking at least. Looks won’t get you anywhere quick, so a personality would be nice." -You moved continents after you already banged the guys on the first one. You are now a weaponized case of 7 year itch -The cost of shipping on that 5 head must have been crazy -Moving continents also describes the distance of your four head. -What do we have to do to get you to move to another planet? -Perfect model for the before pictures in Nutrafol hair thinning commercials ✔️ -My tits are much bigger than yours and in a man lol -Hair so limp and lifeless it looks like it was brushed with a catacomb. -“Moved continents” is an Irish way of saying incontinent - she’s an involuntary squirter! -"Damn, I'm depressed for you." -You might need them both back after this unwise move. -You look like you sucked air into your forehead and are about to float away like a balloon -You may go back to anti depressant if I utter word -"With a face like that, its no wonder youre depressed" -"Pro tip, put smaller earrings that don’t dangle from those dumbo ears. -I’m sure they are useful to your clients though." -"Extradition and prison time is a bitch, right?" -22 going on 32. Alcohol is a hell of a drug…  -Looks like your hairline is following suit and working on getting off your scalp. -Plays chess. Says the horsey-thingy is her favorite. -did your 72 year old husband buy that ring for you? -you look like if someone stepped on a bratz doll.  -Bro’s forehead just blinded me help -I see you lost at the game of “chest” so now you are trying to learn “chess” -"Ok, Rapunzel. Nex time youll jump from the tower, watch out your head. Its already unfixably crushed tho." -"Back again hey? Not enough attention last time? That's ok, you're still as bland now as you were then" -"“Off booze and anti depressants. Roast me.” -Tell me your life is now dull and you want attention without telling me your life is dull and you want attention" -There are two continents that are smaller than your forehead -Drank one white claw and three ibuprofen and tried to get pity for “ substance abuse” -2 lazy eyes and a five head later here we are -Did you bring your grippy socks collection with you? -I can literally see your split ends… -You look like you orgasm when you watch pigs eat -"Oh, is TLC starting to tape the new season of 90 day fiancé?" -Nice -"Anti-depressants are terrible for the mind. - -Please stay off them!" -"Why does every young girl not know what to do with their lips?! Just smile normally, gosh! (Nice work on being sober, seven months is HUGE)" -How can you move a continent? They’re too heavy. -Allie Addison. -"Quit the booze and drugs, now on the cocks" -Mariah Scarecrow. -“Return the slab” -22? You look old and young at the same damn time! -Tits are being held by customs?? -I rate your filter 7/10. -The dreaded Chernobyl area bobblehead birth defect -"Well the booze would have easily wiped out any serotonin gains from the antidepressants. So no wonder they didn't work. -Hope you are doing OK now.🙂" -You’re transgender Nicolas Cage -Did you carry your suitcases in those hamster cheeks? -Not sure where yall get your sex change operations but I'd stop seeing the same guy. Looks like he was drunk the entire time and forgot which was he was going halfway through -Go home -"Roast you? I would, but that bright dress has rendered me colorblind! Turn it down a little." -"Good job, I stopped drinking a lot of whiskey about 4½ years ago now. You look great, get up the hard work!!" -I started walking your forehead 5 months ago and I still can’t see the other side. -"From the lost continent of Atlantis, you should return and get lost." -So your name on OF is Jif because you spread easily? -Is one of those continents your forehead? -Belongs on r/roastattentionwhores -Adorable! How’s that? -Your Grandmother wants her curtains back -I was just trying to reach out and say that this isn’t the best way. And this won’t keep you sober. I I haven’t touched anything other than my scripts in 11 years. I’m 35 and life has fucked me. You are too beautiful. I’m crying writing this -Basic white girl and I mean the absolute most basic build of all and there will soon be an onlyfans -She has a figure like an ironing board. -Only your Glory Hole addiction to conquer now then 😂😂😂 -Moving continents shouldnt be too hard when the entirety of them can fit on that forehead -"22 going on 40zzzz… -You aren’t happy in your own skin still apparently…it shows in that pic.. -you think you work on you.. how bout actually wok on you.." -Check your inbox OP 👀👀 -With your face you’re sober? Goddamn that’s impressive -"If there's one thing your comments say a out you, it's that you're 18... or 22... - -Tbh we can't even be sure that's you in the photo." -200th comment but why would I waste my time on a pretty face. For someone who’s 22 You’ll land me in cell. -Your hair looks like a pigeon gave up half way through making a nest. -Shave it; you're already most of the way there! -"The shape of her face says comic villain, the shape of her body says 12 year old boy, and the shape of her eyebrows say Jim's dad from American Pie." -Only fan -"Maybe give up foundation next, you're definitely addicted to that." -13 yr old that looks like she's mid 60s -An Irishman without any potatoes… -And you look like a crackhead. -You look 42 not 22. Drugs hit you hard -"LOL you have a long road ahead of you, if you are only 22. Good luck!" -Good for you getting off the booze. Now pass it to me so I can drink you pretty. Give me your extra antidepressants too for the next day when I sober up and see this mug again. -"""Off booze and anti depressants about 7 months too"" - -And probably have never been so miserable, right?" -"You are 22 years old, not 22 years young. 22 years young is not something that people say because they don’t know better." -You're right fuck yeah! Move countries! -"Them anti depressants got your hairline receding back so far, got you looking like The Ripper from Last Action Hero 💀" -78 years old 22 years young says her liver. -Irish girls are never off the booze for long -r/jailbait -How many blow bangs movies did you have to perform to leave the continent -You quit drinking? But who's going to have sex with your step dad now? -"Last time you got fucked, was by genetics" -How many filters did you have to use before you finally covered up looking like the grand high witch? -You make men with micro penises feel good about themselves -"Which continents did you move honey, and where did you put them?" -"So, mail order brides are hot now?" -"You probably need to get back on the booze, you looklike you're still going through major withdrawals" -Off the food too by the looks of you... -Does the dude that ordered you from Chechnya to be his bride know you are posting here? -I can't. I just simply can not. -Antidepressants at 22? Target practice at best -You look like a lower case i but with an upper case dot. -After this I’m gonna need alcohol and antidepressants -Your face says you need booze and antidepressants -"Keeley Jones, Wish Outlets clearance sale." -"22 years young? Sorry honey bunny, you're 22 years old. And you're only gonna get older! MWUAHAHAHA!" -You’re mother should’ve let you stop training the uneven bars after the 38th participation prize. -Your forehead is the size of a continent. -"Good for you and congratulations! That’s a huge achievement. - -But since you did ask to be roasted, I’ll leave you with this: fuck off and your dress is dumb" -"Did the anti depressants also help with receding hairline? If so, get back on them." -"I’m not gonna roast you. You’re beautiful - I’m proud AF of your sobriety. (Addiction has affected my life a lot). I feel like some people come where when they are unsure of themselves - but girl - keep at it. You’re young, gorgeous and the world is yours for the taking! Keep at it!" -Seriously... What has this sub become??? -"You look like knock off Shania Twain, Shania Pain." -Welcome to America; when are you dumping Big Ed? -The prettier the crazier -"Off booze: check - -Off anti depressants: check - -Off your back when you do porn: Not even close." -story is story. -"Five head and man hands here looks like a Lifetime movie poster, My daughter’s secret life. The true story of Keri Ann, who secretly traded sexual favors with her teachers, for Xanax. You think you know your daughter? The Rickelbacks thought they knew Keri Ann too. But inside, their daughter was harboring a terrible secret for years. When the secret came to light, it turned their lives upside down and turned Keri’s vagina into a box of cow tongues. -Every parent of a daughter with a five head and loose legs needs to watch this film with their daughter. Learn to recognize the signs of a teenage harlot." -"Off: Booze and Antidepressants - -On: Dubai wannabe prince schlong for attention and $300" -This is like the 3rd time you've posted this month -I swear I seen this beautiful girl on a milk carton -"I’ve never seen a what happens when a human being is sucked, lips first, through a hose. Until now.  It’s great that you quit drinking but all your future partners will definitely need booze to get past that Woody Woodpecker nightmare of a face." -That hairline is moving to another continent too -It is an island not a continent. Hence the name Epstein Island. 🙄 -"Your hair needs some help. Looks too dry, like you attempted dreads but failed. Oh and you own a crystals shop." -"You look like the type of person who only exists to follow trends. No fashion sense except what you see on instagram reels and etsy.You have no opinion on important matters, and all your choices are made by someone else. You are a pushover, you know it, and you can't change it." -You're gonna need them now. -That isn't a face to stay of booze and antidepressants. -Cause you’re pretty when I’m drunk…. -"Man, Ireland is really a world menace if they keep exporting leprechauns just like you." -"Very specific with what you are off of, now let’s work on getting off the Vicodin and Percocet." -"7 months off booze and anti depressant … that’s great, but what about the other 4 drugs you’re still heavily on?" -The only roast you should be a part of is a spit. Whats your onlyfans? -"The impressive part is not that you look like a specimen from the potato famine, but your emotionless gaze managed to convince me to stick with the booze and Prozac" -"Respect to your neck fr, holding up the most weight on your anorexic collar bone glaring ass body" -You seem like you had 3 beers one time and think you were on the booze -you went M to F a little late. your hairline already started disappearing. -Really??? YOU’RE off anti-depressants??? -Your hand writing is trash af -I'd be depressed too if i had the chest of a boy scout. -You have the head size and hairline of George Costanza. -Haven’t I seen you over here before? -You look like you get jealous when your phone dies -How much for you to redo my drive? -Nice handwriting -You make me want to take antidepressants and booze together. -You're a splitting image of my 44 yr old aunt who takes antidepressants and drinks booze on the daily. I mean just like her. -"Great work, that is legit impressive! Maybe give food another try though, I don't know if quitting that helped" -22 years lame you mean -THINK AHEad -"Let me guess your job ""Bali Influencer""" -I noticed there's no wedding ring. Not surprised. -"Wow. Now, that is a forehead. Do you dream in IMAX?" -You look like Honey No-NO! -"Congrats on getting sober but I’m gonna have to sink 12 beers before I even touch you. Don’t worry about any residual alcohol from my mouth though, there is no chance I will kiss you when we’re done." -"Off booze? Good, because those looking at you need all the booze we can get." -"What loser did u play like a fiddle to get brought over from Ireland? - -Next stop, OnlyFans." -"BRO U AINT EVEN DONT KNOW GRAMMAR CUZ YOUR WRITING IS LIKE GIBBRISH WHAT THE HELL EVEN A 42 YR OLD WOMAN CANT EVEN LEARN GRAMMAR OF ""ROAST ME"" BOI U GOT ABANDONED AND BE LIKE  Dennis Hawkins" -Smuggled across 5 continents -You look like AI made a realistic Tim Burton character -"based on your look i would like to congratulate you on finding a substitute for booze and antidepressants that allows you to claim you're off those, at least." -"We can only hope she moved to Antarctica, and uses her extensive forehead to scare away marauding penguins." -Bet your parents are now off the booze and antidepressants too. -Great job so far! You'll finish turning your life around when you stop wearing your clothes backwards! -Please say “Antarctica” -You got a head shaped like an egg -"Get better handwriting, please" -"Your face says adult, your body says elementary school" -You look like you're learning how to withstand your bubble farts -Which continent did you move to. Your forehead? Did you get into booze and anti depressants because of your failed OF? -"Your eyes are beautiful. However, your face looks like someone fucked up their first time using one of those photo-editing apps, stretching shit way out of proportion and didn’t know how to undo." -Your eyes say you still need the anti depressants. -7 months! That’s amazing! Only a few more months until you finally realize that you and the camera are not friends. -do you blow glitter into someones face whenever they say something nice to you? -"If only the highways in my country were as broad as your forehead, there rarely would have been an accident" -eat a burger. -Did your tits stay in the old continent? -"I’d smash…even with the 5 head…I mean you ain’t no dime piece but very feminine and I’m attractive to feminine people… - -Edit: okay I take it back. Only fans is a turn off" -You look great and wow nice that you stopped the bad habits. Your whites of the eyes looks amazing. A sign of a healthy person. Your beautiful -So you moved continents and still end up depressed? I think your the problem not the continent you were born on -"Dont have a roast just wanted to say congrats on 7 months sober, thats awesome." -booze has done a number on you! -I could have roasted about your bobbies but you got none -"Moved continents but, luckily, you brought your suitcase full of filters with you." -Sounds like there's more bats in your belfry than a haunted house. -Perfect example of giving the baby up for adoption and raising the afterbirth instead. -"Yes, please? :)" -"Congratulations on making some changes, but let's be honest, you're still just a lost soul wandering around, trying to find your place in the world. Maybe it's time to stop searching for yourself and start searching for a personality instead. Good luck with that." -I recognise you from Fukushima Japan -"I see you have learned to write the language of the country you moved too, so that’s a positive." -Should have stayed on the booze and drugs. Now people get to see your real personality. -I see nothing to roast here. You’re beautiful. -I’ve done grandmothers that look younger than you. -If I were you I’d take the 2 unkept Fat fuzzed caterpillars of your forehead & search the old country for your hairline. Make sure they check the crawl space. U prob left it there -Are you off food too? -"You look like you gave up the only interesting thing in your life, and it made your 5 head become a 7 head" -Resting dead inside face. -You’re definitely in my league. -I'm not gonna do that today lol Just in case no one has told you today. You're very beautiful 😊 No joke! A natural beauty 😯 Happy Sunday! ♥️ -I feel depressed and need a drink after looking at your photo -cutie -You don't need to drink. The other people need to drink to deal with you. -All of that in 22 years? I was thinking about the exams at your age. -You look like a worn out fleshlight -Obviously bulimic -"Yay, another night in watching RomComs and drinking mocktails. You're so much fun, Stacey." -Your eyes say get back in the anti-depressants. -Good on ya -Your earlobes stick out further from your head than your tits do from your chest. -So that makes two countries that don’t want you -"Great job getting healthy (healthier!), wish you all the best! Reducing or quitting entirely booze is a FANTASTIC life decision. This is a roast so uh your tree in the background is too lush." -That’s not a forehead. I’d say five or six head -Can I have your leftover anti depressants? I hope it will help me out after looking at that face of yours. -Go and forgive your mother for making you just like her -You’re not gonna age well -"Check, no mate." -That left eye is looking like it’s trying to move back to the old continent. -I’m getting depressed looking at that cheap-ass jewelry. -"You have your hair and makeup done already, just get fake tits and you'll almost be as attractive as a Trans woman." -Should probably go back on the drugs I can see the crazy in your eyes -"lol off booze and anti-depressants. Give it time, just give it time you’ll be back on wagon again soon." -Do you find it hard to sleep? I’ve done the same thing and barely sleep anymore -The 80s called: they want their hairstyle back -Speaking of continents…that forehead… -Too cute to roast -I hope you brought Rogu with you Ricky Spanish! -OF has gotten the bar so low even James Cameron won’t find it. -You like like you probably should have stayed on antidepressants. -My advice is to get back onto the booze and pills as soon as possible. -"That's a pretty dress -(Scrolls up) -Those are pretty eyes -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up) -(Scrolls Up)" -Wax this ham candle. -Mad props to you for getting off antidepressants! So…. any clips on your OF where your mail order husband gets off on your massive forehead? -Your boyfriend left you and you've alienated your family. Taking your untreated BPD international seemed the logical next step.. eh? -You look like that one girl that's doing porn scenes in which she usually passes out. -Congrats on getting clean and sober! -Oh I can see YET ANOTHER OF page promo coming up... Also that facetune skin blur filter is fucking shit. -comment -“Recovering” -"If I had a time machine and a picture of you, I could probably end the fentanyl epidemic." -If Hepatitis C were a Pokémon. -Using public bathrooms for one subscriber at onlyfans -I wouldn't even ride you into battle -"I'm genuinely proud of your journey, but where are the after pics?" -"how you manage to look bald with hair, your face reminds me of the bald doll from toy story" -You look like you use sex as an icebreaker on the first date -Quitter -Why does it look like you pull hair out of the shower drain to wear on your head? -"Fucking hell, why did they cast Shawn Wallace as the lead in this Amy Winehouse biopic?!" -You have more red flags than a Chinese military parade. -"Without makeup, you look like Don Rickles" -"Gotta be really sad that you can’t even get people to roast you. Add that to the list, guys won’t hit on you, puppies won’t play with you, hell sounds like drugs won’t even do you anymore." -How many times have you tried to smoke that brown rock on your face? -Bet you put dealers out of business when you sobered up -Aperenttly anyone who fucks her gets to scribble some shit on her -"You were on meth, right? Cuz you and your surroundings are hella methssy." -I’m assuming you popped or snorted the drugs cause I can’t see you keeping a needle hard enough to penetrate your skin -Daddy didn’t make you cry enough? -"Your OnlyFans is predictably, completely unused, unlike the needles you still crave." -You look like you strip in a renovated double-wide on the side of the highway during weekday lunch. -"Sorry to tell you this, but you OD'd and died about 5 months ago!" -"You look like a shitty Wednesday Adams. Maybe Saturday night Adams. This girls like a birthday cake, everybody’s going to get a piece" -Having to take Plan B five days a week doesn't mean you're a drug addict... It means you love the D. -Wne you order your Goths from Temu -"Glad you got out of the drug scene, shit is dangerous and lord knows there would be nobody reporting you missing if something happened" -"Bill Cosby wouldn't even make you a drink. - -*serious note: congrats on getting clean" -"In the years to come a shop floor supervisor is going say ""get back to work"" and it's gonna give you habit feeding flashbacks" -Recovering? -If we could somehow attach solar panels to your forehead and point you at the sun we could potentially power the electricity of the world for at least 3 to 4 thousand years. -She’ll take 7 selfies for an hour but can’t text her grandma how her kids are doing between crushing up oxies. -you are my favorite type of girl. Drug Skank -No I don’t want to click the link in bio. But I do want you to clean up that pipe off your bed. And for fuck sake eat out of a bowl and not a mug left on your bed. Your room looks like a 15 year olds from 2009. Jesus Christ -At least you have nice tits. I’m sure your decent body is the result of genetics and nothing you put hard work into. -You look like discharge smells -Idk maybe give drugs another shot -"Cum is not a drug, how can you be in recovery if you collect from any dealer?" -The recovery hasn’t been going long I’m assuming -What drugs were you taking? Testosterone and horse tranquilizers? -That girl will steal your heart. Literally. -My chemical romance? More like my chemical dependency. Amirite? Ba dum tss -"When they say ""dont stick your dick in crazy"" - you could be the diagram they use to show the example of ""crazy""" -Congratulations on your recovery and remember when you get the urges to get high just think of all the times you sucked off your creepy uncle/step dad/strangers in the Speedway bathroom or just think of how much porn there is of you online. -Rick Moranis doppelgänger -"They tried to make me go to rehab, and Im a hoe, hoe, hoe" -Recovering from last night and starting again today. You can do it girl! -"One of those tattoos says, ""I fear soap""" -"Oki, Amanda Bynes." -The most surprising thing about this is no onlyfans link in your profile -You’ve had a lot of sex in a public restroom… -Are your knees still bruised from all the pipe you smoked? -"I would have liked you to tell me something that I hadn't already gathered from your expressionless, tired eyes." -I think the drugs are the ones that need to recover -Congrats on the recovery. Not here to roast you but to let you know you’re not alone. 9 years. #wedorecover -Girl looks like the only time she meets guys is in their nightmares -Roastme has been showing me lots of titties recently... -"Well, we might have taken the crack out of the crack whore, but… pretty sure you were voted most likely in your class to use sex as a strategy to steal copper and catalytic converters." -I never knew it was possible to have a reverse erection until I saw your photos. -Your body has done more drugs than a pharmaceutical lab. -"Congrats, now let's see the after results" -"Pic number 2 legit scared me - - -The optical illusion shirt didn't help btw. We could still tell you're ugly" -It’s more like the drugs gave up on you -"Never seen any1 go from a ten to a one so quick. - -Bet you did horrible shit for a fix." -"After viewing this, I'm back to drugs" -"For your part-time job, do you work as a Hot Topic mannequin?" -"Congratulations on your recovery. - -I don't know what's the bigger disaster your life or your room." -Want to cry? I just spilled an entire 8-ball onto the carpet -You should first re-cover your whole body including the face. -"It’s not even a roast, just a general question, -Is that spider man’s whole ballsack on your hand or just one ball bag?" -"Your eyes are in the middle of your face, never seen that" -Rawr!! It's the walking UTI at warped tour!! -You might be the first person that looks like they got fat using cocaine -Holy shit 10/10 for being a drug addict at 24. Glad you got that shit squared away -You look like the type who would teach their dog to lick their pussy. -Even those needles caught an STD -You look like you wipe back to front -You should take that amy winehouse thing all the way -You look beautiful in hell -"You desperately need a nose job, but can’t sell yourself to afford it because you need a nose job…" -If only your self esteem was as high as your drug tolerance -It’s really helpful showing pictures like this so people can see the ravages of narcotics. Can we see some of the photos of you in recovery now? -Low rent Bride of Chucky impersonator. -"You look like a 16 year old who got into mom's art supplies -and decided to give yourself""tattoos""" -We are all crying and need therapy after seeing your picture -Only a drug addict will take selfies in a mould ridden grotty public toilet -We already knew you had a drug problem lol -Is that a rest stop bathroom ? -I feel sorry for those drugs that had to go through your system -"24 with makeup on 44 without it. Don’t be fooled fellas. This one is damaged goods. -Make sure you get a penicillin shot before and after your ride on this jar mayonnaise" -She wants us to roast her just so she has an excuse to relapse….. do your worst fellas. -How much do you charge to haunt houses? -"Clean your room! Nice body, bet that pussy is wrecked though." -Was that giant mole addicted too? Holy Moley -Odds outta Vegas for relapse are + 500 -Just post your nudes already no one cares about your story -Shoulda stuck to the drugs -Why do 14 year old keep posing as 20+ on this site? -A face even a needle would go limp to. -I bet it's so hot to see you try to buy 300 Sudafed at 2am 🥵 -"""I used to do drugs, I still do drugs, but I used to too...""" -You make me wanna give up alcohol and take up fentanyl. My eyes shouldn’t have been subjected to this. -I don't want to make you cry. I just want to tell you you're beautiful just the way you are. Good job sweetie -"You look exactly like Amy Winehouse. - - - -Like literally now.." -Even the dog is shocked by the smell -this is where you're glad that reddit doesn't have smells.... -Are there any tears left? -"Don't bother posting your OF link, not even the very tasty heroin would hit that" -Really like the picture with your boyfriend in the end -Has only like 5 showers to go before she washes off all the cumshots that paid for her dope. -You’re the stripper they put onstage just before they close at dawn -"Congrats on getting clean, are the prices still the same?" -"Straight to porn, it's the only option" -I bet she sucked lots of pee pee for drugs -Nothing says tramp like and half naked photo in the bathroom mirror -Looks like you've seen more dick ends than weekends -You just look like a bunch of stupid narcissistic problems. -Queen of the trailer park -"Great job on staying away from your particular addiction, but tattoos and pasty white makeup look are no replacement for a personality." -Recovering huh? The first day is always the hardest…. -Wow the makeup really adds to that shitty look 🤦‍♂️ -Lot Lizard -How are you going to explain your face now that you're clean? -That makeup doing wonders huh? See ya Monday at the methadone clinic. -No one cares. -Recovered? Hardly -Why quit now? I don’t think OF cares if you do drugs. -You look like your voice would sound like how gonorrhea feels. You look like you've had the clap so many times it's more of an applause. -Did you just start recovering today? -She OD'd so much she got addicted to Narcan -Thought I was in the Am I Ugly sub. -There are paper bag girls and then there are plastic bag girls. -Plot twist: the drugs are recovering from her. -"Please don't lower yourself by posting here. -Your too beautiful and the trolls will take you down. -I know I going to get massively down voted but delete this and then don't give a phuck what people think of you. - -It doesn't matter one bit,you be your strongest self" -Let me guess. You have borderline personality disorder? -there is no recovery from this -Not much to roast here… -She looks like her pussy stinks all the time. -"Whenever they tell you, you don’t need all that makeup, don’t listen to them. You definitely do need makeup." -"Sweetheart, let Fentanyl take its course." -"Drugs are baddddd, but you certainly ain't" -"You ever seen that movie Penelope, about the girl with the pig nose? Yea you look like her" -How can you face yourself without face filters?? -You’re going to make such a nice smoker voice lady that works at the Taco Bell someday. -At least you could've blamed the drugs as the reason for not cleaning your room. -My vibe honestly would tear ya limb by limb -Can I see more pictures of your dog? -Go back to drugs -You put the “crack” in Cracker Barrel -I‘d say I can fix her but actually the chances are slim -"The psycho type of girls, daddy must’ve hurt u so bad" -Incoming OF in 3...2...1... -I can smell these photos 🤢 -You were cooler when you were on drugs. -You look like a Disney princess who missed a turn and ended up in skid row. -"Please for the love of all things sacred, get back on drugs!" -*Yoda voice* Recovering? Still using you are! -The one time I wish drugs won. -Going a couple hours without a bump does not mean recovering. -Was not prepared to see a skin coloured goblin today. -"I do have $5 for getting my dick sucked. I'd like the change afterwards though. Can you at least do that or is everything disappointing about you? - -edit: typo" -Even your dog looks strung out. -I'd wear 4 condoms just to shake your hand -You look like those people's from Tales from the street -Yall make sure you get your antibiotics because I got syphilis just from reading this post -"Awww, so cute! No, not you, the dog." -You should always wear makeup -Five bucks says you drives a Pontiac. -You look like discount Temu Mila kunis. -"You see a recovering addict, I see a $5 blowjob and an emotional punching bag." -Nice tits. Wait…did I do this right? -Antibiotics are drugs too -"Maybe if I double wrap it? - -Nah, there aren't enough condoms in the world." -Make you cry? Daddy just got back with milk and cigs. -If Alice Cooper and Greta Thunberg had a baby. -"I just tried to crank one out to your photos, nothing happened." -"Ah the difference between a father's love and we'll this... good on you though, many would have accepted defeat by now, and for good reason, but you're a really trooper. Now go run off and find the next person to disapoint." -"Anyone seen gremlins 2? You know the lady gremlin, it’s uncanny" -Recovering drug addict? Is the 2$ blowjob deal still available? -The only thing guaranteed in your future is copious dicks and relapse -"Did you quit by choice, or because you're so fucking ugly even the needles don't want to be inside you?" -Look like you get cock for your drugs little whore -"Daddy only loved you for your body, and so will everyone else. DM me" -Recovering drug addict yeah stopping drug use for half hour is not recovering and it shows now go get my money on that corner no one feels sorry for you you brought it to yourself crack head -Probably get back on the drugs. Its the best future you have any hope of -You have no value now that you're not fun and no one really likes you anymore. You should relapse -You definitely turned tricks for a bump... -How does it feel knowing you look twice your age and everyone who fucks you does so because they know you’re easy? -So that’s where Rick Moranis has been. -If backpage and a relapse had a mascot... -"“Mommy, where’s daddy?” were your first words." -"Hey, Troll dolls aren't supposed to be IRL!" -"Well, you're happy and that's all that matters I guess" -"They call you Marathon, because you've been ran through" -Being addicted to sperm just makes you a whore -A trash bin in person -Is that anything like being split roasted -You look like my sleep demons. -If walk of shame was a person -You look like you light your nipples on fire just to feel something -"You’re going to live a sad life looking for validation on the internet, and from men (obviously). Spoiler alert, you’ll never get it" -"Why? Someone please explain why ppl do this? Why would you want someone to roast you? Congratulations on you’re recovery, ik it wasn’t easy." -You knew better -Even your dog is scared of your looks -Didn’t need to tell me i can clearly see -Can’t do it. You’re too cute -You definitely been sex trafficked -"It's gonna be hard when you've all ready hit rock bottom. And by rock bottom I mean getting your ass used for cheap while your face is in a line of cocain. Kind of remind me of my ass, claimed to be a drug addict but in all reality was just a dumb slut" -Hell you’re doing just fine keep up the good work -Abilify Incarnate. -I bet you can guzzle a pound of coke in 2 minutes. -"Oh look it’s a “mean girl” - - -(Congratulations on your sobriety 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿)" -"Whoa, Suicide Girls is still a thing?" -"Ok, now show us the pics of you sober... - -On a serious note, congrats on the recovery. Wishing you the very best!" -You really made jesse pinkman upset when you died on him like that -I hope your dad isn't an air traffic controller. -Newb question why do so many ppl like getting brutally roasted on Reddit? -You're too pretty to roast 😍 Sorry -I can't roast you. I'm too proud of you for overcoming your addictions. Great job -I'm only here to support recovering from addiction. I'm sure I could roast you but I simply don't want to. Congratulations Sheldon Cooper -"Not really a roast, but sort of a roast. More so a genuine question. - -Why do girls that have a similar face to yours always have issues?" -Which gave you HIV first? The needles? or unprotected sex? -"I seriously can’t tell if these pics were taking before or after active addiction. Hopefully they’re before, cause if not, that bowl on your bed says you’re not in recovery anymore." -More pricks than a second hand dart board -How much do you charge to haunt a house? -"The biggest burn would be that you will likely ""relapse"". The cult you are in is forming cognitive dissonance that you will only be able to overcome by yourself. Based on your very stupid choice of wardrobe you will fail at this." -Oh you're recovering not using? -Is it possible to get herpes from roasting somebody? -You look like your onlyfans is $25 a month but you only have 4 subs -This is a skank -You really didn’t need to specify the drug addict part. It’s very apparent. -"You're beautiful, but you've been through a lot and it shows. You need to move out to the country with your dog and spend less time around people for a couple years. I wish you all the luck in the world. - -That was a shitty roast ... sorry." -"I was instantly transported to middle school when I saw this pic. - -I predict your future to be full of children you didn't want, with a man you never loved." -"'Recovering drug addict', yeah ok, just wait till you meet a guy named Jesse see how you end up." -You definitely sucked a few dicks for your fix -I’m not even going to check but I’m assuming there is an OF link in bio -Was the drug Ozempic? Because maybe you should start using again. -Weird that they made Sid from Toy Story trans but there you are. -Your body says 24 but your face without makeup says 35. -Why not post pictures of you off the drugs? -"No… it’s ok, keep doing them." -The reason tattoo artists wear gloves. -Your life isn't actually any different now that you've given up drugs. Sorry. 🤷🏼‍♂️ -"Can't do it. I volunteer with people in recovery, so I can only say congratulations!" -"I bet you’ve had so many dudes inside you that Uber sent you a congratulatory 20,000 trip email." -"Better without the makeup, less is more ! Keep up the good work. Stay drug free , stay in control and God Bless you." -Really shows your lack of commitment it's a shame -That poor dog’s fur looks so uncomfortable. -I can see your meth pipe in the background -Everyone bow! The Trailer Park Princess is here! -Poor dog. -"I'm not going to roast you. -I'm going to wish you well on your journey of recovery. -You can do this" -"How come I have a feeling you have an Only Fans for only $3.99 per month with only one subscriber, your dad." -I can smell you from here -Ngl usually a hater but u are really pretty -$10 says she starts an OF if she already doesn’t have one -All I know for sure is that I definitely have a type. -Looks like you got AIDS without even getting laid -I can smell the cum and crack in her room -comment -That smile looks like it’s rehearsing for a toothpaste commercial that never called back -"You were the reason why the Catholic priests paid so much attention to the little boys in the parish, and left the little girls alone." -">Help me grow a backbone - -Take some from your nose" -A face that only jesus could love -"You know you can wash your hair, right?" -If you can grow a mustache than you can grow a backbone -You're gonna need 2 backbones to support that giant melon -I've seen more creative hairstyles on cancer patients -It’s fucking Olive Oil in the flesh and blood. -more backbone and less facial and body hair... right? -Gal Gadoink -dry-humps on the first date -We could land planes on your forehead. If your nose wouldn't take them out. -Just transfer some cartilage from that schnoz- you’ll have plenty. -It must suck to almost be attractive -A human quokka. -Your forehead is so big even Dora can’t explore it -"You look like 2nd grade cursive penmanship. From far away and with squinted eyes, you look decent, but the closer you get, the more bumps and grooves you notice in the wrong places." -It’s been an year and acne still dawns your piehole -You guys chill you are being really mean to this dude! -"Well, at least you will grow something except a forehead" -It looks like your priest has had to give you the talk about your unhealthy obsession with lighting candles and going to confession. -On your forehead airplane could land. -I bet you can even smell colors -"Ok, pinocchio, sit down. There's no need to lie anymore!" -They measure distance between earth to youranus with those hands -Always a bridesmaid. Never a bride -Trust me you don't need anymore growing. You could do with a bit more shrinking all over. -I can't tell where your forehead starts and your nose ends. -You look like a person who uses 'lol' in real life. -You aren't ugly at all. But there isn't one thing about you that's appealing. None. -"You’re pretty - - - - - - Average" -You look like your Tinder bio says “Single mom looking for a good time xoxo” -How about you grow an opaque facial membrane instead -Gal Gadot but with the attractiveness dialed down to 5% -U look 20 and 40 at the same time -Gal Gadon't -"You wanna grow a backbone? - -Too much doggystyle damaged yours." -You could call Guinness world records for most obvious fake smile -You should focus on not growing that mustache instead. -"What’s with the freakishly long arms and your bf peeing on virgin Mary in the last picture?! Are these really your best angles? I have seen a wanted poster with more charisma. - -You look like the type to stalk your dates and befriend their moms (and dads) in secret." -"You look like the advertisement that says ""how to look 50 at the age of 30""" -Your chest already looks like a back bone  -I thought this was San Antonio Spurs Great Manu Ginobili -Your backbone is clearly on your nose. -"Its Gal Gadon’t, Average Woman." -Face of a smashed tatertot -This is Pinocchio if he was redone as a woman. -"compared to the virgin mary, she aint the prudest" -You must smell like pumpkin spice and everything basic AF -Morticia Addams called and wants her hairline back -First 2 pictures helped me to grow nightmares. Smiling like the shadowpeople from my sleep paralysis. -Old Navy second hands. Very becoming -Is that war and peace written on your face in Braile? -"2nd pic is the just took a big shit in the gas station bathroom, then smile and strike a pose look…classy.🙄" -Your forehead is so big I could eat a 4 course meal off of it….I’ll have the 🥩🍤🥔 and 🥗 please.🍴 -"Plain vanilla. But in your case, it’s probably more like plain Horchata." -OP definitely is a virgin. And by virgin I mean she tells all the guys you can put it in my butt -You're more virgin than Mary. -This Mona Lisa painting sucks. -"“Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favourite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord. Hiking, play volleyball...”" -"Help grow a backbone? - -Let’s start with growing hair on top of dome. - -You currently look like a Lego with your hair that tight" -Just convert to Satanism because God clearly hasnt granted you any favors in the looks department. -Someone say a Hail Mary for the hair line -Just grow that back one like you grew that nose -U look like a potato -"Turns to the internet to toughen up. - -Leaves with a laundry list of new insecurities." -If your hair is pulled back any further you would have got that actress role on Beetlejuice 2 -Why do you need a backbone? You look like you were already born with a frontbone. -"I would like my boner back, please." -Grow a backbone....grow hair first! -Why does your nose have a knee? -How you look old and young at the same time -You’re hairline is more crooked than the coastline of the United Kingdom -You have resting cleaning lady face. -I imagine your personality is as flat as your hair. -See if that church has a nunnery. Jesus loves you. No one else will. -Maria Guadalupe Camila Guitterez Garcia Villalobos…”just call me Ashleigh.” -"No need to roast, great smile and you’re very pretty." -"You look fine from far, but you are far from fine" -Straight Outta Convent -We have found the hairless Sasquatch -"Are you ready to give it up for Jesus ? - -(Jesus the pool guy)" -Arm extended like a selfie stick gogo gadget lookin ass -Don't worry Gypsy Rose you'll grow one one day! -You could probably have two whole backbones made from all that cartilage in your nose. -If an underwhelming blowjob were a person… -You look like if a urinary tract infection were a person. -Your skin has the texture of styrofoam -"Your issue isn't scoliosis, it's exfoliosis, the medical term I just made up for, ""Damn that's a lot of dead skin on your face.""" -Even Jesus and Mary look depressed to be near you -"This subreddit cannot help you ""toughen up."" That will only come from a better understanding of your feelings and such fortitude will only come from inner enlightenment and not random insults from the peanut gallery." -How hard was it to try and not look cross eyed on the pic on the left? -You and your wife look very happy in the last photo -Hello Squidward -"You’re pretty, but you look like you’re balding from the top and the sides. You can see the dents from you picking at your pimples. It looks like someone shaved the top of your left eyebrow and your nose is huge." -Angelina jolie rip off lookin -NASA called and asked if they could land a rover on your forehead -Alv this pdja has the Virgin Mary on her phone??! I’m guessing she’s still a virgin herself. 40 y/o virgin. -"Actually, you are very pretty individual probably with a kind heart. But in all seriousness, stop trying to please everybody." -I think your smile scared away your hairline. -What the fuck is that hair line sorry im crying lol -"If my confidence was as big as your forehead, I would post in this subreddit." -You’re too tall for any guy to want to date you. -No need to roast you. Even your friend was to embarrassed to show her face around you -"I bet your favorite coffee barista says ""not this btch again""" -I love the Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal too much to roast you. -The USA might invade with all that oil in your hair -"You look 30, 40 , and 50 years old all at the same time. That smile makes you look related to a horse. Your forehead is wide enough to play football on." -You like like a teenager in their late 40s -"I was like, she seems cute and un-roastable. Then I realized you're the type of person that takes selfies in a Best Buy bathroom." -Why do you hate to wash your face? -"I can't think of anything, you're honestly hot as hell" -Stop trying to copy Mona Lisa's smile wannabe. -not everything is about you inregards to the last pic. -"You want some back bone? - -Just get some nose cartilage and slap on your vertebrae. - -You have enough to make 10-20 noses and 5 complete skeletal systems." -You look like Gal Gadots autistic sister  -Your face looks like a WW1 battlefield with all those ACNE scars -You look like the fact you're the fourth most attractive girl in any room really annoys you. -Cant roast some one as beautiful as you 😍 gyatttttt -The only woman ever kicked out of the convent for not cleaning up her beard shavings from the rectory sinks. -That facial complexion makes the moon's surface look smooth. -Smoothing out the complexion must be like mudding drywall every day. -Advertisement for the “SMILE 2” movie -She got Mother teresa on her phone cover. -So religious your hairline ascended so your forehead can be closer to god -"When they have chest acne, that tells you everything you need to know" -The angle of this picture 📸 looks crazy. Your arms look 15 feet long. But your very pretty -Things aren’t going great when a statue of the Virgin Mary turns away and says a little prayer for you. -"I'd make fun of your long ass arms, but you could slap me from a different country, so I won't." -"She wants to get roasted and us be mean to her meanwhile every pic has some religious figure in it. Nope, I’m going to heaven." -you put Mother Mary on your phone for after every guy you Holy Ghost -"She’ll poke your eye out, use protection 😎" -"with those long lanky arms, you could give a reach around to Jelly roll!" -"You look like you would buy Gwyneth paltrows ""vagina"" scented candle" -Would you like to grow a back bone as big as your nose.? -"Mary looking down at Mother Theresa on the back of your phone is some kind of euphemism, right?" -"You believed El Coyote who crossed you over the border that he was gonna leave his wife for you, and he still ran off with your money." -I've never seen a Latina forehead and a Middle Eastern nose on the same face. One of your ancestors definitely got it on with the colonizers. -Severely ugly -With that five head? You should have enough space to put some knowledge… -Pee Wee Herman had a shovel faced kid? -"So what you're saying is you bit the head off your ex-husband. You know, you're an invertebrate." -Got started on the 'stache already? -When you get your nose done there will be enough left over to provide a backbone -"Its because of how prude you are. That's why you can't find a man. You missed your window. You're never going to find a man willing to save your first kiss for marriage, especially not at your age." -She had....man hands -Nose and forehead beat you too it! -I see you already have your hair pulled back.. But let me guess no one will let you hawk tuah their thing? -You mean Adams apple -Even Mary can't look at you -You’re a Monet. -"""Groe a backbone' ...are we hoping it will balance out the forehead, jawline and HOLY MOOSEKNUCKLES THAT NOSE!!!" -I bet that nose stops you from deepthroating -You cleaned up after playing the Nun in the Conjuring. -I'm amazed that someone taught a dead jellyfish to walk around upright. -You don't need a backbone doll.. You have the longest arms the world has ever seen. They will work just fine for a means of secondary / replacement spine stabilization . 😉😘 Have a beautiful day. -you look like you’ll grow a tail before a backbone -I’ll help you with a lot more other things as well! 😍 -In order to do that you would need to get off of it once and a while -"Is that the Virgin Mary on your necklace and your phone? I can see the resemblance. Another chick trying to convince her incel fiancé that she has no idea how she got pregnant. - -Grow a backbone! The man deserves to know that you’re pulling trains in that gas station bathroom. - -I’m just messing with ya. It’s a roast…not trying to get on the bad side of divinity. Maybe say a prayer for me? And if you’re gonna do that on your knees, you’re welcome to come “pray” at my house." -"Use your powers and get a nosebleed, eleven" -"Had no backbone when it came to other kids, asking to cheat off her hmwk/test in school" -Elmer’s Glue is not the same thing as shampoo -If Pinocchio was a bitch and all you do is lie 🤥 -Have you ever inadvertently scanned your eyebrows at self checkout? -What happened to your backbone? Got it blownout I'm sure. -If you were to grow a backbone the rest of the lizard people would reject you. -Jesus cant save you from being murdered in here -I bet with each breath you take you float -You should grow some Tits first -Waxed stash -Is your back the only part of you that’s not extremely boney? -I have something you can use as a backbone….just tell me where to insert….lol -You could use half of that forehead to grow one. -You got enough real estate on that five-head for super bowl ads -You get prettier the further away you are. -Your the definition of a background character. -I could write down the entire fnaf lore on that forehead -Why need a backbone? -Make one out of some of that excess cheekbone -"Backbone?? I’ll give her a bone from the back, Amirite boys, amirite?!" -"After you grow a backbone, try growing an upper lip" -"You’re like perfect for a movie role, but like as a Tuscan peasant lady" -No backbone needed to carry that small size -Reformed folk dancer -You gossip for a living -"Mary is literally looking down on you, and no amount of backbones, ribs or thigh bone is gonna help with that" -You don't need a backbone. Just acne cream and a nose job -I bet you talk about chores during sex -Go to an orthopedist. He'll be able to fashion a couple out of that enormous forehead. -"As if the DCU didn’t suck bad enough, they fired Gal Gadot and ordered her replacement from Temu or Wish." -"I don't know about your backbone, but your face definitly helps making my and others front bone smaller and limp..." -The man in the last picture is praying he never has to see your face again -Your face has less natural matter than a lego figure🪳🪳🪳 -You look like you would have one innie nipple and one outtie -When you by Gal Gadot off Temu -You look like you get choked a lot outside of the bedroom -You are sexy as a bowl of rice -Grassyass -Bigger cheeks than a greedy squirrel. -You smile like an alien trying to fit in. -"You got Mother Teresa and Mary on your phone cover, you got all the help you need." -Can imagine you need help to let things grow -Your arm is so long -"Your hair is so oily, the US are planning an invasion." -Santeria priestess. -You look like you always service the one cis priest at the rectory. -I have seen pictures of the moon with less craters on it than your face. -It looks like someone spilled the braille alphabet on your face. -You can always use the extra bones in that absurdly long arm to add some backbone -"Transplant some bone from your humongous nose. Plenty of extra back bone you can graft from that thing. - -I refuse to believe that's just cartilage, a nose cant get that fucking big without bone in there." -I guess you already got a pretty strong backbone with all the behemoths you take in -As long as you stop growing forehead nose and jawbone o got chu -"What’s it like knowing you will forever be a bridesmaid, and never the bride?" -You look like you’re anti-abortion. Which is no surprise considering you’ll never have to worry about getting an abortion. -"Crumpled up aluminum is smoother than your face…… that forehead has more real estate than all of New York. Them eyebrows thicker than a snickers, and is that a rash above them tiddies?" -O Juliet....thine head art shaped in the likeness of the first slice of bread. ❤️ -Unfortunately your OF will come before your backbone -"Double the price of your only fans. Just remember, when you multiply by zero, you still get you." -Its like you don't even need a selfie stick you go stretching hands -Your 8 head takes up most of my phone screen. -You're so obsessed with Virgin Mary because you know you'll be a virgin for life. -"I bet, you cheated on your friend with her future husband minutes before her wedding." -Maybe we should help you grow a relationship with your father -You look like you have had enough bones near your back -Delicious -That's the girl who make an IT carrer cause no one make attention to her -You look like Popeye's misses -Someone should help you grow breasts first. -You're so boring Airbus wants to sell you as their latest plain. -Former member of the single eyebrow club -the type to put together Excel sheets for weekend vacations -Aww you keep your photos of your exes on your phone case? -You're why the earth is badly polluted. There's no fixing that musty breath. -I’ll put a bone in your backside instead -Even the virgin Mary looked DISSAPOINTED -Forget growing a backbone worry about growing a hair line -"You should be asking for help with a hairline, nobody likes a 54head" -If mediocre was a person -You are the female version of Megamind -Your skin has so much texture I couldn’t tell where you ended and the stucco wall began. -Suck some more -Grow some titties while you’re at it -Could probably use some of that excessive forehead. -I thought Pee Wee Herman died last year. -Jesus cut a fringe -This the type of girl who is afraid to get more tan. Probably cares a lot about looks along with the rest of her family. Definitely wants a white guy to marry. -Love the abortion clinic bathroom selfie -You look like you need to grow a backbone. -With a face like that you’re probably more likely to get boned from the back already. -your forehead bigger than caseoh -Needs help growing a backbone because you won’t grown a baby to full term -Is that why you have semen dripping off your lower back???? Trying to fertilize and grow that backbone???? -It’ll take divine intervention to make you worth any man’s time. Because right now I feel you salt microwaved tortillas and serve them up as they’re the best effort you can muster -"If you were in a porno, the pool boy would rather clean the pool." -Some men are breast men some aren't. You are blessed to have both bases covered with 1 c cup and 1 B cup. -Is it weird I can't tell if she's giving me head or anal? -I feel like growing a better hairline would be more in order -"Transplant that nose in, it's long enough" -You definitely don’t need help growing forehead! -Omg pls stfu Andrea -Even Christ would have to ask for forgiveness after listening to your prayers -You look like you model for game developers who code generic female NPCs -You definitely grew that forehead and nose -Grow a hairline -No amount of Virgin Mary pictures is gonna change that body count. -Young man you need a haircut -You look like the type of person to cry in the stall after you've been verbally abused by your boss on the daily -With a face like that I'm sure you take most of your bones from the back. -You look like you were an ugly duckling in hs and are now feeling yourself at 40 -You could cosplay mega mind -Jesus ain't gonna save you from those blackheads -"Needs help growing a bone, no surprises there" -"Finally you understood that having anal won't help you ""grow a baCkBoNe"". Do hard things, listen to David Goggins and stop Cross-dressing." -You look like a gen z pick me girl. -Guys avoid you like the plague -Have you found Jesus? cause he's probably hiding from you still. -Stop letting every guy you meet blow that back out. Give time for the bone to heal. -"""Simply Stunningly Beautiful"" 🥰💯😍" -"I'm guessing your a teachers assistant at a public high school trying to get your credential but after seeing the devils work first hand of hs boys talking about there penis and you in the same sentence, you couldn't handle the impurity so you set aim for being a 1st grade teacher at an overpriced private all catholic elementary, but after your first day your worried that that even could be a little too edgy for you" -Is your name Gordita? I can see how Taco Bell named their diarrhea inducing item after you. -Wants to be the long arm of the law ! -The smell of at least 8 cats is oozing through my phone. -"Didn't I see you on OF, or another site?" -"I love your jewelry! Is that Emmet, the Patron Saint of LEGO Hair?" -Your backbone went to your forehead -If you don't have a backbone now that you're 40 you won't need one for the next 4 decades of your life. -Olive oyl irl -Olive oyl irl -At least you've saved money on a selfie stick -"Let me guess , free Palestine ?" -How is it possible that I can see your head bobbling in still photos? -"She gives off “I’m still a virgin if I’ve only let boys put it in my butt, right?” Vibes" -"Olive oyl, Popeye looking for you" -Too pretty to be mean too!! -"look everyone, a practice girl." -Can’t help with the backbone but can definitely make something grow in your backside -"Why in Daf we are roasting the Moon? -According to the Natives she is Grandmother and deserves respect." -Last one is your tinder pic right? Always the fat one.... -Your back is long enough no need to grow it -women with giant noses have the best bodies... -I'll grow my bone in your back door..... -Plenty of space on that forehead to have a spine implant. -Who is the girl that u hired for ur friends wedding? -Grow some bangs to hide that fivehead -You need to pray for Mother Mary to up your concealer -You look like you do community theater just because you think the guy in the racoon costume is cute -You make Lilith Crane look hot. -Pass -"Milomore chick, she looks good from a mile or more" -Pee-wee Hermano -You look like an actor in a diarrhea medicine commercial -Looks like you need a backbone to hold up that forehead. -That’s what we call a bitter face -Your face reminds of Indian roads. -Never the bridesmaid never the bride. Weird… -"Beautiful smile, I'd love to see your hair down" -You look like a character in a 1930's Popeye cartoon. -You look like every future domestic abusers first girlfriend -You look like a teacher posing for a mugshot. -A face only a mother could love -"If you want to grow a backbone start planting vertebrae in the back yard and watering them daily. You've got more of a chance growing a backbone that way than displaying your low self-esteem on reddit. - -I am sorry, I just saw that title and couldn't help myself. I don't really mean what I said." -I'll help you grow a backbone by sticking a pole up your ass -You should grow some titties while you’re at it -How long has it been since you transitioned? -"Those are pimples on your chest, it’s razor burn" -you have the smile of someone who doesn’t yet know they’re racist -"Hey Noodlearms, You will be skinny fat in less than 10 years because you don’t work out." -"Your face looks familiar. It's what comes up if you search ""Slumpbuster""" -If you walk into a wall your nose will hit before anything else -The scars on the side of your face look like you match the moon -How often do you have to shave your moustache -Isn't there a commercial airliner somewhere that you're supposed to be giving a pre-flight safety announcement in? -Now I understand the hijab -Pretty -Exfoliate and lotion your poxy skin -"It's not fair. You want us to roast you but the only thing I see is the piñata dressed with that hideous quinceañera dress. Well, not that your dress is flattering but the other is worst." -You´re the reason why anti aging creams got invented -You look like you'd take a phone call during anal because nobody calls you. -Even Mother Mary can’t stand to look at you in the last picture. -"I'd take you to a wonderful dinner full of conversation and laughter where we learn about eachother and share stories and just when you think ""this night couldn't be any better"" I'd make you pay half the bill. (Although I'd still cover the tip since you didn't have any cash with you.) - -Got her!" -comment -You look like a can of chewing tobacco wished to be a real boy. -“I used to be in a band” is how you start every conversation. -Just because you have a woman and three kids locked in your basement doesn't mean you're married with kids. -"He has children but can't ""legally"" be 500 yards near them" -Come on OP no pet roasts. We don’t want to see your goat here -I'm pretty sure this guy tried to sell me uranium flavored fentanyl behind a walmart -I’m 44 and you are making me thankful for my genetics. -You look like your idea of staying hydrated is to drink the water you've boiled hot dogs in. -Your wife’s boyfriend has hair and a well maintained beard. -married \*to\* kids -Standing there looking like you bought the West Virginia redneck starter pack. I especially like the official NASCAR go back to your own country glasses. -"You drive an white van around town and ask children that are alone if they want to see a bunny rabbit.  - - -It's in the back.  - - -3 duct tape rolls, thick plastic tarps and a music box with a tiny ballerina playing in the background. " -"You may be married with children, however sir, you are no AL Bundy. - -*" -I can’t roast you. I’m 48 with kids as well and I have that same look on my face. -Great value Fred durst -The third pic is so funny man -I don't see the cheetoh crumbs in your beard from sucking Trump's dick. -Why do all your photos look cockeyed. -Is that the sun behind you or your bald head is shining -Jeff Foxworthy owes his entire career to you -Not even the Ark of the Covenant could take on this chrome dome -Married with children? I see that the beard on your face is not the only one in your life. I'm not sure your wife and kids appreciate you using them as cover to take shots in the mouth. - the villain from who framed roger rabbit -She's already cheated on you -"I could swear I just **saw this guy on T.V. recently**! *Twice, in fact!* Once in a commercial advertising generic Viagra for only $0.80 per pill, and again shortly thereafter, in a commercial for an H.I.V. suppression medication. Dude! Pick one. You can't do both." -delete before your kids find this -More like married To children u sicko -You know that floor wax is not for bald spot cleaning right? Ive looked at the last picture 40 mins ago and i still have a damn welding flash in my sight. -Good choice on them Doc Brown future 2015 shades to hide them wild AF eyes dude. It worked for him and it works for you 👍 P.S (They went out of style 9 years ago) -Scott Ian look alike sub par “guitar player” for Incels birthday parties -System of a Clown -10th place in the Scott lan look alike contest -"""we have scott ian from anthrax at home"" - -don't do that thing with your eyes in the first picture, you look like your dad was Marty Feldman" -Jesus Christ buddy post a goddamn disclaimer before you blind people with the suns reflection off of that skull of yours -"How’d you get away from your Pennsylvania Senate gig -Long enough to post this?" -You look like you love propane and propane accessories -Do you sit on the couch and tuck your hand into your pants? -you look like you build dildo storage containers! -DC4L -"Scott Ian if instead of playing in the band, he just ate anthrax" -"Repeat after me, old timer: ""I am NOT Scott Ian. I am NOT Scott Ian."" - -Now say: ""My soup catcher smells like dingleberries and blue collar high alcohol content sweat.""" -Your goatee says “I eat potted meat”. -"Look here Ricky Bobby, she don't love you" -Lay off the caffeine. Your eyes are about to pop out and roll across the floor! -I’m 47 and you look like my dad. -You look like you season your meth -"You must treat every parent teacher conference as a planning mission for the day you ""snap""." -"This is the ""you look beautiful"" guy under every one of his fb friend that's a female that isn't his wife" -If you're married why do you need us to roast you... go talk to your wife you coward! -You look like a custom-made character from MLB The Show -Al! Love and marriage. -Your sunglasses roast you more than any of us ever could. -I didn't realize Dollar General Ted Nugent was even possible. -I had no idea bugs could vote republican -"If NASCAR was a disease. “I’m sorry ma’am, your husband has NASCAR.”" -"You kinda remind me of anthrax, the disease not the band." -Please don't marry children. -If an all black Dodge ram was a person -This isn't fair. You are the leader of one of the Big Four of American Thrash Metal. How are we supposed to roast you? -mans so bald the sun reflected off his head -You really want to draw attention to those jug ears? -I’ve never seen a face scream “I have buckets of food and a crank radio in my basement” so loudly in my life. -Bud Bundy now living with Marcy -Scott Ian from Anthrax’s untalented brother -"No need to roast you we all know you drive the Toyota mini van listening to Britney Spears while your wife drives the Escalade and is getting tapped by Chad her “personal trainer”. Your life sucks enough bro, I can see the soccer mom van dead eyed look on your face." -Are those their bodies in the window? You definitely have that psychopath look. -"That goatee screams, ""I peaked in high school""!" -"You look like you found a genie and asked for 3 wishes - married to some woman, bear kids, look young. And went from 78yo incel to you…" -your family dreams of ditching you and starting new lives far away -You look like you watch the Lingerie Football League -"And I thought Bud Bundy was bad when he was just dating a blow up doll, but I didn't think he'd marry Isis" -I hope your children don't catch what you got -Where’d you get those lame ass shades? Vanilla Ice? -"Married? WOW, I'm really wondering who would grease that set of nuts." -"Coach... I said put me in, not put it in me!" -You look like Igor from Young Frankenstein and Uncle Psy from Duck Dynasty had a kid. -"Hey, can you get Mary Huff's autograph for me?" -You look like you threaten your kids about their sexuality because of your own closeted truth. -Catch a predator vibes -Yeah but who's children? -That's a face they put on the sex offender registry twice just to be safe. -What do you mean married with kids -You look like the type of guy that would threaten to mug people but then run away as soon as you take a punch. -You look a lot like my brother……. Who is a crackhead. LOL -fuckin beacon -Dear god the reflection coming off head nearly blinded me. -You look like Scott Ian’s less talented younger brother… got ya! -You kinda look like Scott Ian from Anthrax. Not really a roast just an observation. -I’m 43 and your pics made me feel young again. Thank you! -You’re a washed up version of the dad that tries overly hard to be cool; only to find out his daughters are stripping on weekends and your best friend is putting one of them through college with tips. -"How many times have you said, ""you lost, boy?""" -100% you're OK with dating 2nd cousins -His wife definitely gave him the Speedy Gonzalez hat as an inside sexually related joke. -If Skoal was a person. -Why do you have pubic hair all over your chin? You're bald...we get it! Shave those pubes OFF! -Keeping your cousin in the basement does not count as being married Scott. -"You look like you love to make the corniest dumbest jokes with medical professionals and service industry workers, to the point you make them uncomfortable" -"Gawd, I’d hate to be the umpire at his sons little league games" -stay ... away... from animals. -Al Bundy crossed with Colonel Angus -Dude def beats his wife -"dude you're married, and in shape? nothing to roast here my man.." -Make America Gay Again. -1st photo Jail Release. 2nd photo Lawyer visit confirming your child support contributions. 3rd photo cruising the streets for some young tail. -I'm guessing you were.. off ..from.. work..when these pics were taken 👔 -"With Children... - -You abducted" -Looks like the last thing a 12 back of Busch lite will ever see in this world. - Wow this is so obviously one of those dull boring bastards who thought he’d look cool growing a beard but actually resembles someone featured on to catch a predator -This dude definitely cutting you off in his Cummins and then giving you the finger that the next red light. -You’re the guy who bought that dead body off of me… -That's more of a roast of your wife than you -Buying a dead female corpse doesn’t mean you’re married. -Pics look like the tinder profile of a night janitor fresh from a stretch for GBH. Your kids tell their friends you died years ago. Wife’s definitely been faking orgasms your entire marriage. One kid suspiciously looks nothing like you. -You look like if Car Repossession was a person -Reminds me of BALD -Did Keith Jardine mate with Scrat? -WTF happened to that guy from ANTHRAX? -Low rent Scott Ian. -"Maybe he's born with it, maybe its mescaline" -Thanks for the heads up goatee. That lets us all know not to try to have an intelligent conversation with you. -God was like “let’s make something phallic today” -48? More like 58 -"Jim Varney in: - -Ernest does meth!!" -"Most guys hit their midlife crisis and think sports car or motorcycle. This guy grows a billy goat beard that looks like a ballsack, hangs out at the morgue and turns to Reddit for validation" -If mentally challenged had a face -He's just cosplaying as a broke student hipster when we all know he's a Genx that sold out and earns megabucks in a soul-crushing evil corporation! -You can't roast this guy he's too cool -You look like you hate your wife but don't want her to be loved so you won't leave her -Your children must be so embarrassed -You remind me of The Hills Have Eyes guy. -U look like aids -I'm pretty sure I know where you were January 6th -Typical red neck dad. I bet your children learned how to shoot first than to ride a bike -Damn it feels good to be a Mexican -"Is that a morgue, a brothel, or both?" -"You may tell people you have children, but I bet cash those children tell people they don’t have a father." -John!? -You look like you’d audition for Tiger King The Musical -Apparently you got the hair plugs on your chin instead of your head by accident. -Man I’d be so pissed if this was my dad  -"I can't but also I can believe you'd marry children. -FBI OPEN UP!!!" -"Roast you? You’re the best taxidermist in your town, I cant roast you." -You look like you’re about to get in your truck and make a video about how the worlds changed and you hate it. -You look like a low-budget Scott Ian -My eyes are also bulging out of my head looking at your mug -You like guns and it's the reason you have 1 kid and not 2 -You look like the goat from hoodwinked -Just your average middle aged guy with a poodle on his chin. -Is it legal to get married with children? -Less crack makes for better parenting green eyes. -Welcome to your midlife crises sir -I loved your roll in the SpongeBob movie! -Nice of you to marry a blind woman. Too bad her blindness was passed on to the kids. -Scott Ian has really let himself go -Sorry I can't roast Ernest who saved Christmas -"Yes you look like you married your children, next." -You wear high viz clothing on a non work day don’t ya? -I thought Joe Exotic was in prison still? -Are you trying to build a freeway through Toon Town? -The word “skedaddle” is used by you a minimum of four times a day. -You look like you're just as surprised I am that someone would have sex with you. -Just surprised you had time to log off your QAnon account to get roasted -"Where were you on January 6th, 2021?" -Who's children? -I would like to ask for you to release the hostages in that house. -"Ah yes, the porn addicted cheating man who’s lost interest in his wife and cares more about his business and side hustle than his kids." -Is your wife also a pug? -You are the type of guy to say “I’m not racist because my tires are black “ -You look like Hugh Jackman and Squidward's crack baby. -Hugh Jacks Men -How many more payments do you have on your jacked up dodge ram? -Someone married you!? -Definitely the pic released by the Jan 6th commission saying “we just want to question this guy” -You look like you speak Hard “R” fluently…😂😂 -"Jesus Christ! Please tell me that that is not your resting face, cause damn! Your kids have got to have some serious fucking PTSD going on and will be in therapy long after your gone." -Wal mart Scott ian. -John fetterman’s long lost brother -Least you be easy to find in the city. The light beams off your head -You look like a 48 year old guy who wants validation from redditors instead of watching your kids grow up -My name is mud.... -Why do you have a paint brush on your chin? -I disagree with all of your bad opinions. -An old age drug peddler -"You look like you yell at people about personal responsibility and hard work, but you are on your 2nd wife and 3rd bankruptcy because a guy should be able to have a Fuckin boat and a couple four wheelers to pull behind his nice truck even if he is just a shift lead" -" How’s the Anthrax cover band going, Scott I-ain’t?" -"Damn, I look good for 61, soon to be 62." -You took selfies for this post at all three of the clinics that you go to... on Tuesdays -Is one of them named Jenny? -u look like u would respect a coworker’s pronouns but not ur own child’s -"Are you on probation from your involvement in January 6, or could you not afford a plane ticket to Washington?" -Pro tip: A beard isn’t a substitute for a jawline. -"Bro is married to children, not with" -why does it look like this man is in jail (because he is probably married to a 25 year old woman) -Dollar store Scott Ian -Dude you've been through things you should probably discuss with a therapist I can recommend one if needed -Remember when you thought it was a great idea to tattoo your fingers? -I'm going going to hazard this;   you're missing a considerable number of teeth aren't you? -Do the kids you have with your wife/cousin have any extra appendages? -Perfect -You look like Limp Bizkit with diarrhea. -"You got that southern touch that says...""i give the southern touch"" - -Or what ever you say to those girls you're ""married"" to" -You look like my dad... And he left me... -"If ""I think Joe Rogan is a sound role model"" was a person." -You absolutely look like someone who would marry children -"Idk If you're American or whatever. - -But you look like the type of person to say: ""COME ON ENGLAND LET'S SCORE A FUCKING GOAL""" -"One word -TWAT" -What number marriage you on -Dad why are you on reddit -Ur children don't like u -Did you mean 1948M? No way you are only 48 with all those wrinkles. Must be a pain shaving that elephant skin neck of yours -You look like multiple body panels are structurally zip tied on your pickup truck -shouldn’t you grazing or something? -Married to what? Drunk driving? -"2 words -COCK SUCKER" -You creep me out time for a new hat and don't do that with ur eyes it's gross -Do not marry children please -You look like a baldies basics on a ham and cheese with Nutella  -Does your family consist of the 3 bags in the back? You can‘t marry and adopt a dead family bro -Kinda looks like my maga loving father in law but with no hair -"WHERE ARE THE BODIES, DAMMIT!!" -Dood you is lookin like a ballsack on a nigearian dwarf butt hole sniffer -Bros head shines brighter than my future -Jesus hide those eyes with those 80s hitman shades of yours -"Title makes sense because your first pic is giving Bud Bundy, Klan edition" -You look like you took out a mortgage on a Harley. -You didn’t have to mention your age we know how old you are -Shave that dead skunk off your face -Alright I know this is a roast me subreddit but that 3rd pic goes hard af -Ernest goes to smoke some crack -"I know you ask yourself in the mirror all the time and no, the goatee does not look good." -"Nice sunglasses, didn’t know the Sunglasses Hut would finance to a holographic pile of shaving remnants - -ETA that last pic is giving “2021: an Insurrection Odyssey” energy" -“I know my dads not that funny” ass dad -They’re not your kids -"If your kids could roast you without getting a black eye, they'd do it for us" -If you're a gay man and raising 3 lesbian daughters. Then you're already roasted. -It's probably not good to be posting this with the feds looking for you over that whole jan 6 thing. -"You are a welder and prob make good money but your knees are starting to fail as you bust your ass everyday for your family. - -Knowing deep down - once you get hurt or can’t physically work - your family will suffer. So you hit the bottle looking for some sort of relief.. in doing so it’s compounded the problem and as a side effect the beard is grey and so is the bush" -"Redneck Jeff Bezos, who keeps heads in boxes." -I didn't know Kid Rock fans could read. -You look like a Republican. -You can marry and have children with your hand?! -You look like you can diagnose anything wrong with any car by just listening to it -Heads so bald the damn suns reflecting off of it. You don’t use shoe shine on your head man you’re gonna blind someone! -The 90s called they want their goat tee back! -You look like you say I got in a wreck and I got a check for work. -"Dude what is wrong with you? It's incredibly illegal to marry a child, let alone multiple at once." -"I can't, the last picture made me laugh to hard 😂 it's gold" -"Correction: - -48M, married to children" -Gramps I think your dementias acting up your actually 84 with nothing to live for -Anthrax wants their guitarist back -The Hills Have Eyes & Eyes -Just look at you! Living proof that anal can result in reproduction. -You look like the guy who “accidentally” leaves his fly open at a kids birthday party -Just wait till 3 orphans come along -You like you want to vote for Trump but you can't figure out the ballot. -You look like you antagonize people because you don't get to have any fun while you use your wife and kids as excuses as to why you do not get to have anything. -"Usually married with children means you married someone and had children with them, but you're a little different. You married children." -Must be the one lawmaker in Tennessee that is for marrying your first cousin -I bet that nose has its own address and social security number. -You look like Will Briscoe -You look like you were rejected from the moonshiners TV show. -You make Fetterman look handsome -You look like that one hillbilly that lives in a trailer and goes to every football/baseball game he hears about -"Keep the sun glasses on, they hide the symptoms of your Graves Disease." -The third picture makes him look like he is a holy figure ngl -Ian Scott of Anthrax -It's illegal to marry children where I come from. -someone married you & procreate with you? for fucks sake! -are you the guitarist from Anthrax? NOT! NOT! -Holy Christ! You make the Duck Dynasty group look sophisticated. Your kids are likely rooting around in the neighbor's trash while you post this. -Nice you dollar store Scott Ian! -You look like a bird that lands next to someone at a picnic at the beach -You look like the version of Paul Wall that never made it -Your poor children. They don’t stand a chance. Hopefully they won’t procreate -You look like John Taffer if he rescued meth labs instead of bars. -Looks like u just got outta prison -Anthrax: where are they now? -"48M, married with somebody else's children." -Jordan Rudess: The Generic Version. -Married with children? Does that mean you still tell old high school football stories? -The guy who overshares about all the stuff he did during his crystal meth “phase” -you look like varg vikernes -If Jan 6 defendants had a dictionary entry. -"nah, you look chill. Work hard, garner respect. I'd grab a beer with ya buddy." -You've been kicked out of at least two little league games in the last calendar year. -"At first glance I read ""married to a chicken"" which seemed more appropriate" -"Paints houses for a living and tells you how much money he makes without a college degree, even though you didn’t ask. Has a 2001 7.3 Powerstroke F250 bought used in 2016 because Ford didn’t take bailout money like the godless commies at GM." -bro that last photo funny af -Is the passenger side paint of your vehicle ruined from your wife dipping and spitting out the window too? -"I'm 48, you look like shit." -"And they called him Sauron, the All-seeing Eye(s)" -This guy deffinitly gets down to some “Tool” -What’s Hank Hill like in real life? -Long lost member of the syndrom of a down -Lookin like an inflatable stick person n a garden gnome had sex -Lethargy manifest. -Lethargy manifest. -Looks like a methed up chicken 🐔 -At first I thought my neighbors goat had figured out how to use the internet. Bbaaaaaaa -"Man if you don’t get your wannabe in broke back mountain has to bathe in a water fountain ass outa here look at you you bug eyed wife is a double wide around the side can’t provide for his family ass like look at your head you chrome dome lacking a chromosome can’t even help ET phone home mispronounced shalom to a garden gnome oh wait it was actually your kid looking ass not to mention your beard looks hella weird which is probably why your hair disappeared when your wife volunteered to marry your ass even though her parents had interfered until your hair feared for its safety and left like- (apologies for the cruel words, but you literally asked for it. I hope you have a nice day! Message me if you need an uplifting message! ☺️)" -You’re married and have kids lol -U look good dude -your bald spot is more shiny then the fricking sun -If I could limit this to one word: “priors” -We call that kind of beard a “cum-catcher” -He’s definitely fucked one of his own Nieces behind his trailer -"What happened, got kicked out of Anthrax?" -Jan 6 -"Married his older sister, had kids, left her for his younger sister." -"You never scored four touchdowns in a single game of Madden, let alone Polk High." -48 couldn’t afford real pit vipers smh -“There was good people on both sides” -You look like Osama Bin Laden. Big fan of his work? -Where were you on january 6th? -"You're proud to have never changed a diaper, aren't you?" -You look like the kind of guy who talks about eating pussy at the dinner table. -"You could **and should** play a side character on It's Always Sunny. - -The cousin that influenced Mac's dad, in Mac's dad's origin story? 10/10 would watch." -How the fuck do you manage to surprised YOURSELF with a photo? -You look like the creepy teacher at school -You’ve definitely used the “hard ‘R’” in your life. -Mountain goat lookin aah -President of the white trash support group -"You look like you tell everyone how alpha you are, all the while your wife if fucking BBC and pegs you for fun" -48M Keep children away from me* -Anorexic John Fetterman -Professional Scott Ian impersonator. -I didn't know the lead singer of Anthrax was an insurrectionist -You straight up look like a real goat. -There me no need for you to say your sorry goodbye I’m going home -You forgot the part about your meth habit -This is Reddit not Facebook grandpa. Now get off of social media it’s time for your nap -Bro trying SO HARD to show any personality in the first photo that she forgot to shave her ears after the transition first the next two -"You're just a copy-paste middle-aged white guy. Bald, short-medium length beard, sunglasses. - -I know this kuz my own father looks like this" -Dude I think a rat died on your chin. -"Sorry, I couldn't. You are a very hot and sexy looking guy. No way you should be roasted. Unless that is meant in a sexual way. Then I'm game! Hehehehe" -You look like you yell at your kids and belittle your wife in public. The sunglasses are a dead giveaway. -Your eyes look like they're made of glass -You look like Beaker from the muppets if he had a beard. -You look like the sort that would be married to children. -"all bro, no bra." -You look like you would tattoo Metallica on your forehead -I fucking knew it. You're MARRIED TO CHILDREN. Lock him up!!! -3rd pic gives Scott Ian vibes -Aren’t you supposed to be mowing my yard? Get back to work! -Is your wife your cousin? -Is this meant to say married to children? -"You look like someone who tunes instruments in exchange for black velvet, coors light & a bunk on a tour bus." -"I don’t even want to roast you bro, you look like the fun dad" -Is pic 2 of you getting called in to the office by HR? -comment -You look like the final boss at a Subaru dealership -Is the gorgeous figure in the room with us now? -"On a side note, It’s refreshing to see a real ‘roast me’ post for once, instead of another cute girl fishing for compliments." -Objects in camera are bigger than they appear -I feel bad for your spot on the couch -You're the girl that always gets in the way and prevents us from hitting on your hot friends. -"Fast forward 10 years… bad back, chub rub has gotten worse, driving for uber to support your 3 kids from four potential daddies and your mom wants you to move out." -6’1” across? -Whoever asked for these pics should be slapped. -We’re gonna need a bigger spit for this roast. -Glizzo -Goth John Candy -If I shaved my beard off we could be twins! -Guess your first pic is on tinder and the rest are not. -Roller derby team captain -You look like if Meg Griffin grew up at Chernobyl -Literally the epitome of we have Goth tiddies at home -Parachute panties are the first thing I think about when I glance at your body. Your panties can literally save lives. -I didn’t know they made goth bowling pins. -"Big gut small tits, the worst of both worlds…" -"With that much vertical real estate, you still managed to max them out horizontally. Impressive" -Ok Phyllis -The amount of material used to make your clothing left an entire block of Indian people naked across the ocean. -Just 18? Damn -Very bovine of you. -who the fuck was the perv that asked more (and full body) of this? I bet even **he** regrets it now -"So you're eligible for the draft in 4 years. -(The NFL draft not the WNBA)" -"I cant decide, If you ate for 2 or You ate the two." -"6'1 by 6'1 by 6,1 ....cool just like a giant rubix cube" -"Wow, the third picture is a really good picture of the partial eclipse everyone was talking about a few weeks back." -Fupa enters a room 1 minute before your face -its gonna be like stealing snacks from a vending machine down there -You are a black man’s wet dream. -Getting serious ‘cock blocker at the club’ vibes with you!! -You're gonna spend your 20s correcting people on your pronouns. -No need to show them off. Having big tiddies because you're fat is like having a fast car because it's falling off a cliff. -Goth Gorlok -You look like every single person that has ever screamed at a man for eating a cheeseburger next to a Peta rally -"18 looking like a 40 yr old soccer mom trying to reconnect with who she was in '08. - -Btw weight loss is easy - eat in a caloric deficit." -This is exactly why she posted face pics to begin with. She even tried catfishing on Roastme. -You look like you escaped a snuff film set -"Wow, you're so beautiful and slim, plus your fashion sense is so on-point. Said nobody ever!" -You forgot to upload the after picture. -The elusive subgenre Golden Corral Goth -What sort of cheese does your belly button smell like? -"“Was asked to post full body pics” - -No thanks." -your belly button gets home 5 minutes before you -"6'1 270. - -Girl Call Aaron Donald and get to WORK. - -Not enough good pass rushing DTs in the league." -I’m still waiting to see the woman who is 6’1 with a gorgeous figure. Can someone contact a mod and report this atrocity? -"Where is the 18F? I only see the middle aged concessions worker at a Rocky Horror Picture Show, who consistently eats all the profits." -“That’s a huge bitch!” -Fuck you doin on Reddit. Chicago Bears need you at Left Guard -"It's hard to make 6'1"" look short, but here we are." -If you throw a snack at her it starts orbitting around her -I guess I'd eat until my face wasn't my worst feature too. -"This is the only time I'll actively *suggest* an eating disorder... - -To both get your weight under control... - -And your delusions of grandeur 😐" -"If Thanos snapped, half of you would just melt away like you're in a Slimfast commercial." -What you said is debatable. -10 out of 10 would (not) smash. -Built like Donald Trump... But with bigger hands -Trust me know one asked for full body pics -How many times will you post threads here? -61 stone figure -"Asked by who, the WNBA?" -Gorged* spelled gorgeous wrong. -Who told you that was gorgeous? -Damnit. Did they change the definition of gorgeous when they were trying to change the definition of woman? I can’t keep up anymore.  -Define gorgeous! -"6'1"" wide?" -Snow White and the 7 doughnuts a day -*The Big Shows intro starts* -It's as bad as I knew it would be. -Nice plumbers crack -Harry Potter isn't real. you'll never marry him. -"Morbidly-obese, that is the way MANY GenZers roll." -You're the type whose dating app profile is all pictures of you with the same 3 friends so you can trick a dude into a date. -Well I don’t know about gorgeous but you’ll definitely make a fine cum dumpster. -6'1 wide? -How can one be horizontally tall? -Oh your body is full alright....full of chicken. -"I’m not even gonna look but I’m guessing this is an onlyfans ad. Will update. - -Edit: holy shit i was wrong." -5 beers in and I’m throwing your legs back. -You look like if a Hyundai Veloster was a person -"REFRIGERATOR, USE COCKBLOCK 💥" -Can you please NOT post full body pics... Reddit made a mistake. -She has her own orbit by now -I think you’ve had enough roast -I thought this was a post on r/tall and I was like why is everyone being so rude lol -Got the gorge part right. -How many black guys a day ask you if someone is taking care of you or not? -They say black is slimming. I guess not always -"6'1"" but horizontally" -built like a fridge -"Finally, back to the gross fat girls without a chance in hell of an OnlyFans. - -Thank you, this is refreshing." -"6'1"", 280 Lbs. Built like Dick Butkus." -You need panorama mode to make full body picture -Marilyn Mayonaise. -Size* 18f -Leave some food for the rest of us! You are personally responsible for the declining birth rate. -Welcome to Disney World. The scooters are over here mam. -You and the rest of the world have differing definitions of gorgeous.. -im so in love with you (in a gay way) -you look like youre gonna start cutting if the right comment hits home -Bouncer at the local hot topic -Do you drink 2% because you think your fat? -You could solve world hunger...as the main course. -You don't have to listen to the voices in your head when they ask you something -"Holy shit, you're the girl in the plapjak meme." -"In the year of our Lord, 2024, we don’t yet have hoverboards or flying cars but, alas, we’ve mastered the art of belt-making. We can and shall hang our collective hats on the structural integrity of such a marvelous contraption capable of containing…that." -What do you even call a Goth pudding? -So everyone was correct last time -🎶there's a wonderful world of wobbly weebles🎶 -Whoever asked for those pics needs to be given an atomic wedgie. -6'1 tall with that shape? GOOO'GIRA -Little Miss Cock Block. -Same weight class as Tyson and Paul. -Wish version of Mortisha FATams. -I’m surprised a camera could capture your full body -lol inb4 this gets deleted out of shame. -"Wanted to roast but stopped thinking after 2nd pic.. -Dk what is more disappointing" -610 pounds too -"I said one at a time, not 5" -Always wondered what the goth girl from South Park would grow up to be. -Who said your 6'1 figure was gorgeous and why did you eat them? Was it out of spite? -You are not worth roasting! -"6 foot 1, and tons of fun!" -Cut down on the pies darling -"Someone's been taking strong doses of ""lizzo""." -Your very pretty girl but you need to lose a few pounds -Please hear me out guys😳 -"Death by snu snu, I am ready" -Rhea RipFarts -6’1 tall or wide? -"Odd looking face but id still hit that, and fyi that is not a full body pic, unless your legless and have no vagina" -"That first pic is well misleading to the rest unless one is already made aware that your skull is just too small in proportion to your torso. Or it could just be because your head looks like an egg sprouting some weird AF mold (aka, what passes for your hair). - -Non-roast note, tho: From someone goth to her fingertips since she was about 12, love your style." -No fans -Fans Hungry -Girl couldn’t even find a full piece of paper to write the r/roast me on -"5 inches taller, and you'd be a circle." -I’m guessing the 6’1 is actually her width. -Built like the friend that gets taken to a bar and says “She’s not interested”. -6’1” laying down?? -"You're the first woman to post on here I didn't see an OnlyFans comment for. Maybe if you ate more roasted food than fried, you'd get more people asking for your link." -Big Mac. Is that enough? -Diabetes and heart disease is so attractive -Jinkies Velma! I didn't realize you ate more Scooby Snacks than Shaggy and Scooby!!! -18 going on 30 with the body of a sack of potatoes -Why do fat girls now try and wear crop tops? It's so disgusting. Stop it now -Ok still waiting for the gorgeous part to happen -When’s this body positivity bullshit gonna end ? -I couldn't possibly roast you. I don't have access to an industrial oven. -Blair Weightwatchers Project -Shame on whoever asked for full body pics -"You know, just because someone asks you to do something, doesn't mean you have to do it." -more like just gorge. that’s it . Gross. -Isn't that Meg -Nice tits -Albino hulk -"Let's Play ""How do I know you're NOT a vegan?"" - -I can't tell what's heavier, your last 3 meals or all the Goth makeup you're wearing. - -Also...Step on me. Don't question it. 😌" -Calorie connoisseur -Yessss! Glamazon 101! -Pics are in Pano mode -Omg are you from the same batch of pop star test tube clones as massively successful lesbian singer Chappell Roan??? …. *But like from the reject pile?* 🫢 -Had me in the first half -I think she’s just asking for an actual roast -hannahowo's cast away sister emilyuwu -Are we talking roast like the full barbecue roast pig you ate in one sitting? -You look like a goth vampire that only feeds on Midwestern Walmart people. -Man how are you 6’1 and still fat -6.1 ? Is that the distance around? -"A 6.1? That’s generous, maybe a 1.6 on a good day" -She traded phytoplankton for cigarettes and coffee...Was giving up phytoplankton hard? is the ocean not edgy enough for you? -"""Gothapotamus""" -everyone just roasting her weight instead of something actually funny and unique smh 🤦 -"Pale as hell wearing the all black. Never seen a person in real life living out their own movie in black and white. You’re like that photo from Back to the Future- you get just a little bit more see through every time you ask the DJ to play more Bauhaus.  - -I swear to God this girl was wearing the same outfit from the 4th pic when she was an extra in the crowd every time I played Paint It Black in Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock. " -DiaRhea Ripley -You're maybe 6'1 horizontally -Whoever asked should be sentenced to life 💀 -Whenever asked is down bad 😭🤣 -How are you 18 but built like a middle aged dad who used to play football in college? -You look like you get mad when your “best friend” has a another best friend -Why do you dress like that? Is it because you think you will get laid when you won’t? -I didn’t know comps-loompa grew so big. You think they couldn’t that big. -What would your parents think seeing you in those clothes -"If I did roast you, you’d surely feed a village" -Asking yourself for full body pictures doesn’t count -your built like a red blood cell -You look like you get jealous of your phone when it dies. -"Not here to roast, ngl you are really pretty and seeing you confidently post yourself makes me appreciate my body type more (I have a similar body type to you). Feel free to downvote my comment if you didn’t want any compliments, I just thought w all the roasts maybe a compliment would be nice." -not a roast but i really love your take on alt fashion. it’s giving borderline whimsygoth (imo). -"You have a really awesome sense of style. Also, you're fat." -Someones gotta tell her that “roast me” is an invitation for insults and not a demand for food -"Okay. When are you gonna post the gorgeous 6'1"" figure? I'm still waiting." -"Those antidepressants aren’t working very well. They’re meant to elevate your mood, not your weight." -are any of you capable of a joke that doesnt involve weight -Reminds me of the Anime… My Hero Cafeteria or 7 Deadly Chins -comment -You didn't need specify being a 21 yr old virgin brother we know this -Good try alien.. I’ve seen MIB. You’re not fooling anyone -"Omar, Son of Borat! Back in your cage!" -Bro looks like Sid from Toy Story if he was a fentanyl addict -You should go somewhere that you can experience the total eclipse. The world deserves an extra 5 minutes where no one can see your face. -Don’t they have vitamins or sunlight where you live? -You look like you've never had a sip of water in your life -I was going thru depression til I saw you and realized people got it wayyyyyy worse than me -"I was expecting something funny, but in the end I read the same type of jokes from Borat. I really want to sleep after this" -Have you ever actually been outside your house ? -1944 concentration camp pov -How long has your father been a virgin? -Geez this is one of the heaviest roasts I've seen 😂 bro just needs some sunlight and exercise -Start working out and go to school. Better yourself. You really can do it! -"Yek shimesh! I live with my father, my brother and my uncle. It’s great, just the two of us…" -You look like a poster boy for the Kazakh famine -That interesting to see that Kazakhstan have internet 🛜 -I’ve seen dead plants with more life -His head is shaped like a fucking nut. -"You got this buddy. Don’t be too sad, you’ll have the chance to enjoy your life soon." -"Fucking hell you've given me third party depression. - -This is just sad." -I think you have suffered enough. -You look like kazahstans sixth most popular rent boy -Sorry mate I only have my card on me -I don't want to. This makes me sad. -You look like you are unhappy with your transition from female to male. -"This is the saddest and most pathetic bio yet. By the sounds of it, God's roasted you enough already. Fuuuuuck." -Your handwriting matches your hairline perfectly -You look like Stewie Griffin -How do you have poor health with that hospital ass shirt? -Nothing much to roast really. Go out and get some loving young king -You look like the kid who tried too hard in gym class -You should clean those leftovers off your top lip if you’re ever planning to get laid. No one wants to see week old gravy smeared above your top lip. -"You look like the guy from that never give up YouTube channel. - -But if he gave up." -Bros built like a busted can of biscuits -You look like you have heart and thyroid problems -Bro roasted himself in the title -Complete your college or get a job instead of posting your exhausted photos on this subreddit. -You look like the reason people use condoms -I think you accidentally swapped the 1 with a 2 when disclosing your age. -"That background wallpaper yells ""former soviet country""..." -Didn't need to specify the virgin part. -Shaggy pre Scooby Doo -There is always someone worse off than you.  Live your life best as you can.  -"You look like the failed coat hanger abortion performed by your mom's brother, who you refer to as daddy." -tell your father that wallpaper is 70 years out of date -"I'm not gonnw roast you. I used to be you man. Start small, get up in the morning and do something for the first 4 hours of the day so you can trick your brain into falling asleep for the night. Don't use your phone an hour before bed. Eat high carbs at the end of the day, eat some protein the rest or whatever for the rest of the day and work out in SOME way, whatever suits you. Lift some weights and do pushups. Hammer curls for the biceps, wide arm pushups for the pecs. Sumo squats for the legs. Weighted if you want to. Have some compassion for yourself and meet a nice girl. Notice how our brains by default value the negative things over the positives. - -This is nature's doing not man's choice. Our rejection of reality is just our mind trying to protect us. And we never give it the time to stop and have compassion for the work that it does for us. You skinny little bastard..." -You'll be fine. -"bro, like back" -Nice shirt. Did you get it free when you got that haircut? -"O, ebatb, moia babushka iz Temirtau. Kak tesen mir" -Poster child for communist society -Looks like Dwight left The Office to pursue a heroin addiction... -You should be on the frontlines of the war. Any war. -I wouldn’t worry too much about being a 21 year old virgin. It’ll be far worse when you’re a 50 year old virgin -I’ve actually been to Temirtau! That’s more of a roast for me than for you. -you look just normal 🤫 -Can’t even spell your own country right -No way you made it to 21 without fucking a goat -Your football in the background looks shit -I think even your nostrils and lips are conspiring to suffocate you in your sleep by slowly increasing in size. -Stuart little on drugs -"Very nice, how much?!" -You look like a real mouth-breather. -Byproduct of coming from the same gene pool -"I won’t roast you, you are pre roasted" -But think on the positive side. You have the world’s greatest potassium ! -you look like a pigmi -"Its fitting that your hand looks enormous in pic 2, as you are obviously a massive wanker!" -Don't get why you'd need to say that you're a virgin when you've already put a pict of your face lol -"You didn't have to state the virgin part, the photo was enough." -Which nuclear reactor site did you say your dad worked at again? -What stage of HIV do you have? -"You must be the result of a broken lamb skin rubber, when a brother and sister were playing “Just The Tip Sis”." -You look like a schizophrenic at a Kazakhstani mental hospital that's so badly funded it's run out of antipsychotic medications. -I never Thought I'd see the where I would see what a stomach bug would look as a human. -"I hope that you health get better soon, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Stay away from smoke and from people smoking around you, also alcohol." -Nah bro. Life is roasting you already! Never kick someone who's already down! -"I was going to make fun of the city of Temirtau, but after looking at its Wikipedia page, that would be meaner than going after your looks." -the state of that wallpaper. Awful. -I can honestly say that you did not have to mention the fact that you're a virgin. We can all look at the picture and clearly see that would be the case. -How do you look 60 while also looking like an infant -Chernobyl reached you guys too huh -You’re the type of dude to look up and down before you cross the street -I’ve seen hostage videos with more joy in them. -There should be a lockdown just for your face -This thread is a great way for you to practice English and get to know the warped minds of the locals before your move to Canada. Bravo. -"I'm genuinely curious what you mean by poor health? (this is not a roast, just a question)" -You look exactly like someone I would imagine after reading the description that you gave -"You're gonna get roasted by all the radioactive waste in your country, so I'll pass." -Creepy now we know what a porcelain doll would look like if it grew up and did meth -Don't worry someday a woman with a better mustache than yours will make you a man -"I was going to roast you, but then I saw that wallpaper! Nothing screams ""former Soviet,"" than that heinous shit" -Look on the bright side. At least you have poor health. -I thought the boy in the striped pajamas died -Do they not have barbers in Kazakhstan -I feel too bad for you to break yer balls….living in Kazakhstan is bad enough -Caillou in his 20s -rads going crazy ! -I bet your mother has vagine like sleeve of wizard and yet you were the winning sperm. -You look like a cross between Eminem and Mr Bean -You look exactly like a virgin -Ma waiiiffee -You look like a cancer patient with severe Autism that haven’t seen sunlight in years and gets touched by the uncle we don’t talk about -"We don't need to roast you, God's done all the work." -If cocaine was a guy -"Yerk Skamersh, you must be Billo" -Kazakhstan sun will do it for us -Show us your wiener -somehow i can tell someone is from eastern europe simply by looking at their wallpaper lol -Fuckin blues clues lookin shit -The wife bag never really made sense until now... -Your parents tell everyone you are AI — Artificially Inseminated -You look like the reincarnation of Klaus Kinski. Don't have daughters. -"You look like brand ambassador of word ""emo""" -That wallpapers is sooo 70s and early 80s -“21 yo virgin” bro roasts himself then asks for more😂🤣 -I think my poop looks better than your personality. -I made that face once when I was fucking around with a character creation on a game -"Well at least you’re rough on the eyes , so you don’t have to worry about women burdening you." -"You didn't need to tell us you're from Kazakhstan, we can tell." -Ok I love all of you equally but this man don't got no one to love his handwriting is so poor makes his parents look like the kid next door that green shirt ain't probably greener than your teeth even on st Patrick's day they put your call on hold and that peoce of paper had better days r.i.p peice of paper -Thats buzzcut i keep me a lightyear away from this -You'll look great wearing a brown bag -Aggressive eastern european phrenology -Very nice.. -Health is not the only poor thing you have I suppose -"I dont know why, but he kinda reminds me of a GTA online charater" -You look like the actor that should have played Gollum -you look like a girl that looks like a boy who looks like a girl (…n) -You look like you fucked a monkey and got aids -Great Success!! -"Damn, Lorne Malvo's distant cousin got a new haircut" -"Nope, don’t feel like it - -Have a nice day :)" -Dance #pissy -will the real slim shady please stand up -"You know, taking a look at you. If you worked out... yeah, you'd be set man. If anything you'd be up on looking good and having a girlfriend maybe. Start small. Then focus on school. You actually dont have real bad facial features. If you had a little bit of muscle on you you'd look pretty decent." -"Nah, I’m good" -The last pic looks like a trans that gives up. -"I would never roast ANYONE with poor health, people have no idea what that is like until it happens to YOU. Wish you all the best lad!" -Nah nah nah nah nah. You’ll never get this. Lalalala () -do you live near a radiation facility? -"Blyat ibanku, Neighbor Vadim has partied to hard. His face is stuck in last month hangover" -"Who pre-stretches your shirt collars for you? Is that a style in the shithole you call home? Or did you try to tear it off yourself in the midst of a hormonal thyroid fit, using all your mediocre life probs/angst as strength but fell short at just stretching the collar? Also your virgin status is due to your lackluster whiney personality btw; not your looks unless its your style." -Two t-shirts! King in the castle. -"The only poor health that you had is.... -YOU TALKING LIKE MOTOR EXHAUST " -Nah. Life roasted you enough. -why is you still virgin and life is fvcking you everyday -You soft ass bitch -Bro looks like Matches from scooby-doo -It's nice. -"I don't want to roast someone with poor health , get stronger friend" -You will never get this you will never get this -"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can roast you any more than life already has. But hey, at least you're still alive, right?" -Your collar looks like sleave of wizard -"Looking pretty blurry, for a human" -Did your mum drink radioactive alcohol when she was pregnant with you -what dried paint looks at to feel bored -You look like you’ve seen 3 people die while you were a toddler. -"Get well from America, my friend. - -The Kazakh people are resilient ;)" -How many books were strapped to your head as a child to flatten it like that? -Man that fuckin wallpaper 😂 and is that a basketball made out of an actual cows bladder? -You have a guitar pick head with a last pick face -Time for new wallpaper. -your life is already roasting you bro -I am sorry that you are not feeling well and I hope you will feel better soon 🙏 -People really are kuckholded by the title virgin. It ain't that big of a deal you kuck. Now don't denigrate yourself. KuckKingKnight big ups bigman -I bet if you ask nicely your dad can help with your virginity problem. -I also like a good tiramisu -In 10 years you will be a 31 year old virgin living with your father -It looks like your wallpaper has more personality than you. -"Honestly bro, I don’t even wanna roast you 😔" -You look like the average Jew in 1944 -"Друг, это не усы. У тебя нет усов. Перестань себя обманывать." -"make an OF account, you'll make some cash then. Might not be alot with that face." -Precious Precious…yes master - hey Schmeagel -If each of us donate $1 we might be able to get this child a prostitute -Cute -Your still a virgin? ME TOO😭 -What’s wrong with your heart? -Your hand tells you it has a headache. -Is your sister number one prostitute in Kazakhstan? -bro are yall good? didnt you guys just have crazy floods over there -Выглядишь как черт -"If you were American, you'd be on a watch list and not allowed with 500 feet of a school. You still have a right to purchase the guns you inevitably will buy AND use." -" -I’m from Kazakhstan, Karaganda (the region where Temirtau is based) -Ask questions" -I knew M Night Shyamalan fucked up Avatar The Last Airbender. But I didn't think you'd stop getting roles. -Blue's Clues Special Ed edition -Can’t roast. You are too hard on yourself. You are a cute young man -Get back to me on this. -"Once again, stating you're a virgin is not necessary. It's about as subtle as a nuclear blast." -"Oh Michael, you poor sweet thing🥲 you don't have a thought behind those eyes do you😮‍💨 sweet boy 😔" -I got sick after looking at your picture. -Ive never seen a person look like every age from 0-38 -"Don’t worry, your family will roast you after you succumb to your health issue? It’s called cremation." -Looked at Termitau on google maps.. the only thing more lifeless than your eyes is where you live -God roasted you by choosing Kazahstan as your spawn point -Don’t worry little buddy you have already outlived your life expectancy. You don’t have much longer now -How do you look like you're 10 and 50 at the same time? -"At least you won’t die a virgin. - -Sure seems like God fucked you." -this is borat and his sisters son. -"Brother, life has roasted you enough" -You look sad man I’m sorry I hope shit looks up from here. Don’t worry about being a virgin most people your age have ran through a shit ton of people and are unhappy with themselves at least you didn’t give yourself away to some sluts. -Sid is that you?! -Shut up ratatouille. Stop eating tiramisu to gain health and gains with your Willy wonka golden ticket head ass -"Sick, 21, a virgin then you throw in you live in fucking Kazakhstan. Good luck man. Although I’m betting you would set of a Geiger counter." -"Try something called smiling, that might cure your virginity." -Who much dose your sister cost and is burat your dad -"Fucking shit bro, I used to live in Kazakhstan. Bless you and your family." -You look like you'd commit a genocide and not feel sorry about it -He has not had gonhorea many times ladies very much not like him high 5. Lalalalala -Привет как ваши дела face ass -Bros life can NOT get any worse -Kazakhstan\* -Your look fit your description perfectly -I think that this roasting thing is unhealthy. I will pray for your health. Being a virgin just means you haven't been totally screwed yet. Celebrate that fact. -Another month or 2 and that railroad eyebrow network should be done -You seem kind guy honestly -How are you still a virgin when your sister Natalya is number 4 prostitute in all Kazakhstan?! 🇰🇿 -Қотақбас бля -He looks like he goes to the bar to order milk. -Sid from toy story. -Wow so it's true in Kazahstan they are so poor they can't afford a chin. -Bro don’t even blame you for being a virgin who the fuck gets bitches in Kazahstan -Born raised and dead virgin -"Don’t be so glum, you’ll get the ring back before they take it to mount doom" -"Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say ""You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la."" He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs. She goes ""You never get this."" But one time he break cage and he ""get this"" and then we all laugh. High five!" -May you find peace young soul -Is your sister the #1 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan? -Your head is shaped like an iron -I see that Chernobyl fallout is probably still a thing. -Why do you look so sad? -The wallpaper is more fuckable you loopy looking Chesire cat -You look like a white version of Niko Belic from GTA 4 -Central Asian decor is like half a century behind the modern world. Lol kinda cool in a way -"Imagine being from an Islamic country and not being married, lol (no offense, I just did what you asked me to do)" -"I thought he was demonstrating his dick size until I saw the paper with r/roastme - -Seriously tho, get outside more and smile, you aren't ugly naturally, it's just how u carry yourself. Get ourself some pussy" -I feel bad for u. I’ll just pray your health gets better when I go to Church tomoro -The potassium production in your region is non-existent and compensated for by neighbouring regions. -is your cousin number one or number two prostitute in the whole of Kazakhstan? -Nice blouse -This picture looks like a bootleg episode of Blue’s Clues -"I thought my life was fucked. I just feel bad for you, bro. May you ascend to heaven!" -"i'm not gonna roast ya', if anything, i wanna give you a hug, you need it man. hope life gets better. have a nice day" -"Roasting someone with health problems isn't cool at all. This sub is brutal. - -I wish you all the best." -"You didn't have to specify you are virgin, it's obvious to anyone" -comment -Talks marriage during the first date -"You seem very nice. That said, I'm afraid I'm not interested in buying (or selling) any essential oils at the moment." -"How far apart were these photos taken?? You look 30, then 22, then 18, then mid 40s at the end..." -"More than likely has an ankle tattoo of a butterfly, a bird or some other stereotypical white girl shit." -You know when you eat really bland turkey and you need to smother it in gravy to make it appetizing? That's your face on makeup. -You look like an innocent Mormon girl that is absolutely addicted to anal sex. -You’re the fattest skinny girl I’ve ever seen. -"You look like a movie star. Amateur porn, but still a movie." -I can tell there isn’t any seasoning in your pantry. -You are “reading the back of the shampoo bottle while I take a dump because I forgot my phone” boring -if tramadol was a person -On behalf of your family and colleagues: The natural deodorant isn't working  -You look like the kind of girl who will tongue the frenulum and tickle the taint and still claim to have never gone down on anyone before. -You look like a Midwest 3 and an LA -2 -"Most feet guys would be happy, but with those orangutan fucking toes, I think they’re all hiding" -It looks like your make-up is periodically applied by an old lady who’s only other clients are 6 year old dance recital participants. -It looks like you use union plaster and stucco workers to apply your makeup. They do half decent work. -"Like Jäegermeister… looks OK, smells nice, you kind of want to try it, but you know if you do, you’ll regret it." -"I’m sure you’ve always wished for a Hallmark Christmas movie type of love story, but instead they’ve always been the domestic abuse hallmark type." -You look like you just starfish. AND give bjs with teeth -"You're probably one of those annoying girls that say ""awkward"" in the background when silence fills the room after something uncomfortable/weird happens." -You look like cinnamon is too spicy for you -Lana Del Reyvolting -your hairline looks like a ball of yarn. -If B.O. had a face -You look annoying. Like you tell the worst stories -"Damn bih, you got the figure of an iPhone." -The Jewish girl with a Christmas tree... She's widening her dating circle -You look like you downloaded TikTok to make friends. -She's definitely saving it until after marriage. Like way after marriage. -What was your name before you transitioned? -"Wot, no OF!?" -I thought mail-order Russian brides were just a 90s phenomenon -If you were a spice you’d be flour. -"This is the kind of white girl you see at Starbucks with her dog in the car playing Chris Brown real low so sharkisha in the line next to her doesn’t hear l, then parks to drink her coffee and toxic text her side nigga Jamal on why he didn’t text good night last night even tho she just swallowed her husband Braden’s kids to get that coffee type shit" -you spend more time looking at make up tutorials than you'd care to admit -It's wonder bread in human form -"If average were a sound, your name would be ""meh""." -You look like you headbutt people -"You look like the girl that blows all the lads, one by one, at the party for drugs" -If sad handjob was a person. -"Your a 10 in my book, 10 beers before I'd fuck you ;)" -You have similar proportions to the Goodyear blimp..... -It's not every day you see someone with the same size nose as chest size. -You’d turn up at a porn audition and be ecstatic you landed a fluffer girl job. -Your profile is labeled NSFW just because of your face -"Your face would be perfect for the Netflix series ""Is It Cake?""" -You look like you boil chicken without seasoning or broth. -Zoey Deschanel is too dumb to change lightbulbs -You look like a 12 year old who's experimented with make up for the first time. It went very wrong. -I wonder what her tramp stamp looks like... -A hag in drag. -Just go ahead and post your link and be done with it -“You’ll never find another girl like me…” -"You look like my wife’s sister, someone who gets cheated on and is oblivious to it." -Where is your crystal collection? We all know you got one. Lol. -"Quit the chewing tobacco, it's gives you a wide jaw... Just sayin'." -Onlyfans reject your application you come to Reddit. -You look what we in southern Kazakhstan like to call a happy goats vagine -"People show there game face, why are you showing us your poop face." -You’re only “pretty” in pictures 1 and 4 -Cute af -"I got a double pump, half whip, decaf, salted caramel pumpkin spice latte for Stephanie!" -Your standard greeting is probably “it’s not MLM or a pyramid scheme.” -You think ketchup is spicy don’t you? -You look like you give a toothy bj -You are the embodiment of the term ‘basic bitch’. You reek of pumpkin spice. -"You’re kind of cute, but so fucking boring at the same time. You look like you’d wait until marriage just to shake hands." -You look like you could benefit from streaking. -Sly stallone wants his face back -You look like Rose from Two and a Half Men but twice as crazy -"If I pry off the mask, is there another mask under it?" -"At first glance you think, “She’s hot!” But then you realise you just caught your own reflection in that mahoosive and weirdly flat bit where her nose and brow meet." -The space between your eyebrows shouldn't be a DMZ -Your phone case is more interesting than your face. -Constantly plucking to hide her unibrow -Whoa look at those legs. Isn't it hard to walk like that? And how come you have a square torso? you look like a child drew you actually. -Trust fund baby -Your gender reassignment surgery took well! Congratulations 🎊 -You look like you pretend to be sane more than Jeffery Dahmer did -"You look like the type who adds pumpkin spice to a breakup text—seasonal, basic, and universally regrettable." -You should get a nose ring! It makes all the bland girls unique! -"You look like every cartoon best friend side kick everyone ignores who says things like ""Joikies!!!"" ""Roger dodger"" and ""Not again""." -You’re waiting for the troubadour that will park outside yer window and sing you the madrigal he wrote with a quill dipped in his own blood singing superlatives of this damsel -You keep saying ‘what are you thinking?’ with nervous codependency on the first date who took you to Applebees. -Employs a full time shuttering carpenter for the makeup pours. -At least you got the fat girl big tits going for you. -"This is the type of girl that claims her last boyfriend made her swear off men and go gay, but we all know she was gay from the start." -You're definitely the chick they hook up with at the frat party as a challenge 💀 -I saw u in that brazzers blow bang vid. With all the sons friends.  -"Could you not wear that face, it's very...erm ugly" -"Very curious indeed. Bi-curious, tri-curious, multi-curious: you’d fuck a toaster if Tumblr had a toaster fucker clique." -By curious do you mean that you slept with 60 different men in the space of 6 months as you were curious to find out what herpes felt like? -"This is reddit, not instagram - -Get that makeup off your stupid ass face" -Glad to see the transition is going well :) -What zip code is your chest living in? Because it isn’t the same one you are in. -The church girl that hasn't saved herself for marriage. -Yes-No-No-Yes -I’d like to roast you alright 🍆💦 -"If u wash your face, kamala harris would look better than you." -The dripping from your vagina doesn’t mean daddy or his friends love you… -Looks so trashy that can make u leave the town -you are the very lumpy mashed potatoes of the meal. Sure you're part of it but you're the worst part. -Looking like Lunette from the Big Comfy Couch -if **Pinocchio** was a girl and grew up -didn’t lie- but his **’father’** taught him how to put makeup on -I'm curious who's cum shot permanently parted your hair like that. -I can tell you’re nervous because you chewed all the nail polish off your third digit left hand. You also look like you dig body hair.? -"When you walk into the room i can hear ""making my way downtown 🎶...""" -You look like you're getting ready to lose a fight to the Scarlet Witch. -Is the 4 bulb chandelier is an allegory to your life or it’s just choice? -Gotta love that vacant look in her eyes... can definitely tell the wheel is spinning but the hamster died a long time ago -Bland as white bread -CHOO CHOO ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO MEDIOCRE TOWN -Why your face look like a bean -"Kinda girl who would name their crotch goblins Skylar, Hunter & Ryder." -You look like you cry after sex then tell the victim you’re pregnant and keeping it. -"You look absolutely insane, it's not Christmas yet." -You put the only in onlyfans -You look like you make people do a customer survey after sex... -Someone needs a gym pass and a makeup tutorial. -She is curious to find a simp in the group to subscribe to her OnlyFans -Wow! That’s the first time I’ve been surprised to not see armpit hair! -Missionary position with the lights off is the only sex you know. -They have treatments for early on-set balding. -You wanna fill the g bong or should I? -You look like you watch a lot of Hallmark movies. -Your Christmas tree looks like shite! -"Roast me is full of bots, need to do something about it, maybe add a rule where user must post date and name?" -Girl if BPD had a profile picture -"I feel like somewhere there are two frat guys having a conversation that goes like this. - -Frat boy 1: Remember that one girl you dated for like a month sophomore year? -Frat boy 2: No." -"You are so incredibly transparent that you can see where your soul would be, if you weren't just another nameless background character in someone else's life." -You look like the cousin we all had who gave hand jobs under the bleachers during lunch to all the boys. So you could experience love for 10 minutes in your life. -Your name must be Carleigh -"Looking like a snack - -That didn’t get finished cause they passed out" -Sorry about your club foot. -There’s a bit of that Ramses gene in there with how close your eyes are to one another. I bet you see double before happy hour is over. -NFL teams looking to draft linebackers must be knocking down your door -"I’ve never seen such a perfect hour glass nose, before." -"No need for us, just stand in direct sunlight for about 30 seconds. That should do it" -What do you do for a living? I'm guessing you work in the Lancaster PA fashion industry? -"If Arwen looked like this, Aragorn would have thrown himself into mt doom." -What kind of boats do you buy to use as shoes? -"Goblin toes. - -I hate feet. But for all my long term partners, I've accepted them and touched them and let them touch me with them. - -If we got married, I would make you wear socks all the time" -So asylums give you a suite and a red band now? Sick -"Photo one speaks for itself, notice the strategic planning of nails painted." -You look like Chappell Roan before she became famous. -Out of batteries -Look like a cabbage patch doll that got its wish to be a real girl 🧒 -"That's a man, baby, yeah. *Attempts to pull off hair/wig*" -That clubfoot almost looks detachable. -Veiny feet 😟 -"Wow you look just like Katy Perry, except poor" -No -You look like unseasoned white chicken breast. You also look like every other white girl on this subreddit -Her pronouns are bland/boring -you looks like a Dwarf female -You need an emergency nose job -Nah -"If bland wore a dress. Is your last name ""Milquetoast?""" -you kinda look like the girl at the start of terrifier. -Gives either the worst head or best head ever no in between -You are beautiful to roast 😅 -I don't really need to not going to lie just look in the mirror and look at your 82 head oh wait that's probably all you can see -"You must be super strong. With all those kgs on your face, I would've been faceplanted by now." -The only thing that appears curious about this post is your sexuality. -That's definitely 4 different people... -She's a 2 @ 10 and a 10 @ 2 -You look like the nerd from high school that tried to rebrand herself as the free spirited hippie chick in college. -How’s your boxing career going? -You look like White Chicks. -If I was mormon you’d be 4th favorite wife -Fat and ugly. -"Dodgers fan, 10/10" -Fat Casey Anthony -This photo needs a warning label: Too much confidence can be hazardous to others -Virgin -"You're so fat, you get off to chicken wings on your night stand, and you use bbq sauce to masturbate to a cook book" -She's so pretty that typical reddit 2's have a chance to talk sht. Knowing they haven't showered and waiting for mom to say the pizza rolls are ready. -"You think vanilla latte is exotic. You only date 6ft 5 guys who play sports , and they don't like the who's *insert any basic white girl * - -You look like you knit and your tinder profile says gym is life, you got a cat to seem edgy with the occasional Instagram post of it because ""dogs are so mainstream. """ -Not a roast but you look like you’re on the verge of tears -"Hi Dean. Still dressing up as mummy, i see.." -"You just know her name is Star Child and she makes soap, but doesn’t use it." -You look like that gypsy no one wants or is never invited to pretty much anything. -You don’t need make up! Cz you need plastic surgery -Curious or suffering from body dysmorphia? -You look like you belong in a Disney film. I'm sure it's missing an ugly sister somewhere. -Your eyes are like a dengue causing mosquito -You look to have the personality of a granola cereal box. -Looks like the type of girl that does scat porn wasn't good enough for the regular porn lol -"Jesus Christ, woman. They say showgirls paint for the back row. You paint to be seen from space. - - -Ease up on the blush. With this makeup, you have the complexion of an 80-year-old alcoholic man. WC Fields is not a good look for anyone (especially himself, but doubly so for you)." -By the time we got the 4th picture you finally figured out how to make yourself decent looking. At least we know you will not be catfishing anyone anytime soon.  -You're what the French call 'le mid as fuck' -transsexual andy from toy story ah -You look like every third military wife. Neither Jody nor your husband truly love you. -"I'll take soaking for 300, Trebek" -"Hey, I found auntie! Why she look like Sylvia's sister of of the ""Hogwarts, but different"" shorts off of youtube?" -"My only criticism is Christmas is for December. -Other than that you're cute!" -What a stupid smile you have on all 4 pics. Just stick your tonque out. Only than you can expect a load in your face -You look like a psychopath that is practicing how to smile. -"Hit you from the back. (Sex) - Your face is enough too stop a time it's self lol." -she looks like she wreaks of patchouli oil in that 2nd picture....although she's still rather cute. -I need to take a shit -"You got a nose like a ski ramp and you have a boys face - -Your best talent is probably your handwriting" -Most likely you have a tendency to involve some Republican senator's sex scandal -That white dress in pic 2 is gonna be the closest thing to getting married so hope you enjoyed it while you did -Curious about what? Seeing how many times you get called mediocre? -You'll disappoint many men in your life and satisfy few -I just want to pick you up by your knee and your ankle and use your shovel-face to dig a hole to bury any good expectations you might have hoped came from your requested roast. -Looks like you are constantly queefing -Looking at you I can smell the strong mix of patchouli and B.O. -"Your face expressions are different moods after fart. -1. I farted and it didn’t smell -2. I am really proud of myself that this fart wasn’t a shart and I didn’t shit my white skirt - 3. Everybody things that you farted but in fact it was me -4. Yep, it was a shart" -How many dead bodies are you hiding in your basement? -Why’re y’all feeding into her ? The best thing to do was leave the comments at 0 gentleman. -Where's your animal friends that help you with your work? -Not even onlyfans material -You’re pretty. You look like a Disney princess -"Wears make up: ""you got your mom's looks"" -Doesn't wear make-up: ""you have his face""" -What have you applied on your eyes in the first picture? -"You’re the type of woman we don’t let know we’re going to finish, nor that we’re planning on covering your face, and while your blind for a few seconds, take our phone out, snap a quick pic for memories and/or blackmail." -"I would love to roast you, but in today's climate, it's in extremely poor taste to insult the transgendered." -You defo went to band camp -The Christmas tree in the background isn’t the only thing fake here—your filter game could probably smooth out Mount Everest. -You look like your OnlyFans is free. -No roast needed. You’re cooked just fine! -So have you got one or is this just testing the waters -Bi-curious George -"It's not that you are basic or difficult to look at, it's that fake smile. It's patronizing and infuriating. Artificial." -Great she’s here to sell finger nail stickers and bitch about why no one buys them -"Has atleast 10 dildos, 15 vibrators and a jar of peanut butter in her bed side table." -Good rack wasted by that face. Kinda like putting a bumper sticker on a Bentley -If I had to guess your name it would be Twinkletoes -Oh shit here comes the tin fish unboxing video on YouTube -Nah. You seem like the deep-frying type to me. -I see that you're too scared to shove your thumb or middle finger up your anus and have opted for the ring finger. You'll get there one day. -Most beautiful trans 💞😌 -You have something neurological going on inside looking at how you're standing in the 2nd pic. -potatoes -You would make a decent practice girl -"No, tarot cards are not real indicators of your future." -You have a look of Alanis Morisette -"Yeah, you’re the type where a guy says “Screw it, she can probably crank out a kid or 2 out of this one, might not be terrible but who cares, no one would blame me for cheating on her.”" -You’ve got the thousand dick stare. Spot it a mile away -Idk if that’s a hospital bracelet in the second pic so you’re spared from the roasting. -"Where to start, - -How about your hair that is being parted like what Moses did to the Red Sea. You got a like a Grand Canyon 2 lane split going on up there. It looks like the left side of your lip was drawn in pencil and there’s not enough make up in the world to cover those wrinkles on your cheek or them sag bags under your eyes. Who told you it was a good idea to put white dots around your eyes. Not only does it look like you got into a fight with a white marker and lost but you were trying way to hard to do something different and failed. You ask yourself why you can’t get a bf because you’re always wanting someone’s opinion to perfect something that is terribly flawed. Try not to find a new hair color every month and find yourself instead. Your a 6/10 and don’t let no one lie to you and say your any higher because there’s just trying to hit it and quit it and I don’t blame them." -Here is the attention you orderd 🖕 -"You are hired! I need you to plaster the walls in the kitchen and all downfloor ceilings. But try to spill less on your face as you did with your previous job. -b.t.w., do you clean bathrooms as well?" -"Yummm, with carrots, potatoes and onions…you bet!" -That’s the face of a Stage 5 Clinger right there. -"Your hair is limp and lifeless, I'm pretty sure you smell like patchouli oil too." -Basic Christian beach slut -Non-special snowflake. -Maybe you should stop biting on your upper lip when you take selfies. -You look like you talk shit of everyone you know -If only you had a personality. -Blossom's cousin Opossum. -You look like every property manager I've ever met. -You look like you would steal my soul if I stepped on your shoe -How people who eat & drink soy smile… -"Pic#2: correct me off I'm wrong, aren't the mani and petti colors supposed to match? Oh okay, Californian...never mind." -Damn girl not much to roast unless that is a club foot in the second picture 😂😉 -I'm 95% certain you sell your bathwater on Etsy. And offer free refills to all your customers. -Where can I find your onlyfans dislike button -Too beautiful to roast your the apple of my eyes Happy Thanksgiving 🦃❤️ -"Ai attempt at ""white Christian girl""" -cute smile ugly face -Looks almost like a younger version of Stephanie McMahon if there's any wrestling fans out there lol -"You were cute when you were whatever age the third picture is. Other three have chipped nail polish, not that I care but you said to be mean" -You look like your OnlyFans is free -"Cute af ❤️ show some teeth pls and the hair could be better with highlights or a tone brighter and finally loving those dimples ❤️ -edit: make up is not your thing." -This has to be the most forgettable face ever. -You look not fun in any way at all. -Hot -You look as if you have a fake British accent but with worse teeth -i think you look more pretty without makeup i like your freckles! -You could breathe in a house fire with all of those filters on your face -If liquid paper took human form it would look like you. -"She's cute, too bad she might be too much into astrology." -Insists you add her on Find My Friends on the first date -"r/roastme today, r/onlyfans tomorrow" -you look like you voted for Trump -"I would say, you are a very radiant looking person." -"Thin hair so lifeless it makes a wilted flower look perky, floral dress straight from last year’s clearance bin, and a face that only upgrades with a full makeup crew you are not basic, you are the blueprint for it." -"You are the type of girl that starts off saying you have some high paying career, and then you try to rope someone in saying you like to make extra money on the side with your onlyfans. I’m not falling for it, not today Satan. Happy Thanksgiving, hope you don’t do OF today." -You look like a Ukrainian hooker -You 20 but you look 50 🤣 -lol. You have very neat writing. -"Go on, tell us your favorite horses name" -"Filters, more of them. BMI filter?" -"Has never had a boyfriend but probably has 47 house plants, 5 cats, and a personality disorder" -You probably diss your friends to go on your cardio boxing class. The substitute teacher that all the students hate -"If pumpkin spice was a person - -Native American Indian? and Italian Damn near the same thing as me, I got green eyes too lol" -"Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." -"Which Thing were you for Halloween with your ""bestie"", 1 or 2?" -"eh, I'd tap it, but you'd have to leave shortly thereafter. I don't want to know you" -Can’t do it -"The kind of woman you’d bring home to mum, while actually really hoping her hotter sister puts out" -"Your hat says “LA”, but your face says “ Hell NO!”" -"As an eyebrow artist, your brow shape is really messing me up" -Dead eye stare -"With that nose, I wouldn't offer up a side profile pic either" -You look like you put silencers on your sweater puppies -If “me and my gay guy bestie have a marriage pact at 40” was a person. -Your vanity does that for you. -You got fucked up teeth I bet -"No I don't wanna hear about the different teas you make with your own herb garden, yes I'm sure your cats do love the smell" -"a hole is a hole, i accept you" -You look like your OF is free -Chunky body and a face that looks like that of a boy transforming into a transgender. The fairy dust on the eyes won't fool us mister! -Times must have been getting tough when you had to turn a lampshade into a top and curtains into a bottom -"I’d hit it… but I just know you’d catch feelings too quick then cry to your friends in a public space after I tell you “I’m just not feeling it.” - -This is also a self roast. I should talk to someone." -Pro tip- post a picture on Roast Me to crowd source the search for any detail that might separate you from literally every other white lady. -You look like Lord Farquaads lost daughter. -"You’re a 4, but with the right lighting and a good Bible quote on eharmony, you could pass as a 6." -Makeup makes you look like the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz -Your nose looks like squidwards house -you look like an english teacher -But are your fingers good? -The top in picture two looks like you knocked one of those 90s paper and wire ceiling light globes. -im in sports -10/10 would hold your hand on a 1st date. -Dream wife until one week after the honeymoon -if below mid was a picture -You look like the kind of person to be asked to get cheese from Walmart and come back with 23k worth of makeup and designer clothes -Mary Poppers -At least the Cowboy Junkies named a song after you; Plain Jane. -"Such a sad, tragic little urchin: taking four photos of herself because she has no friends to take photos of her." -Did you say roast or marry? Bc I’m skipping both -Is your name Jane? Because you are incredibly plain. -26 going on 60. -"Your face is the hero image on the ""Target Demographic"" powerpoint slide White Claw executives use in their marketing presentations." -not the same nose in final photo -"Pretty enough to get laid, but either too religious or too stuck-up to make it take forever. -Also bet in a lineup of you and your friends your the sub-alternate DUFF." -9th copy of Lindsay lohan -Very curious...hmm bi curious 🤔 -Go wash some dishes -"You look like Katy Perry before she was having a meltdown. Your ring finger is missing a nail, so I rest my case. Your 2nd picture looks like you can't decide to be a 304 or a modest woman. Ol' Bridgerton crossover with the Amish lookin' ass. Your last picture looks like an SOS. Are you sure you weren't kidnapped and forced to hold that sign? - -Your skin doesn't get enough sunlight. The slightest blemish or papercut = pounds of makeup just to cover it up. Don't ever do a combat sport because the compubox can tell how many hits landed just by looking on your face. - -Your dimples look like they hold coins. When Billie Eillish made Ocean Eyes, she wasn't talking to you, so stop smiling." -You prob have no nipples -"Was expecting some armpit hair on that 3rd photo , you give me that vibe" -You look like you’re well prepared for your new career at T mobile. -"moves lips at concerts, doesnt know the lyrics" -"3 on the street, 4 in an orgy." -I’m so lonely -If you work in an office.... Pam -That top in pic 2 makes you look like you have a uni-tit. -50 year old looking feet on a 20 year old -I know Mary Jane when I see one -"Cant, i just wanna marry you" -I feel like you need to connect those dots. -Ur feet so veiny even painting ur toes couldn't make them look good. hide them next time. -Dodgers fan….thats enough of a roast right there -If unsalted butter was a person… -I don’t see any cats. Yet. -“whats your zodiac sign” type of girl -You are almost attractive enough to not bother roasting….almost -Your teenage self just called. She said don’t start running trains until after football season. Those boys need a quick practice girl. -Maybe. Maybe I would you throw you a pitty fuck if you kept your mouth shit and promised to not maintain eye contact. -How can I? You are gorgeous lol -Why…you’re too boring -You look easy to draw -Username is clearly misleading as there's a lot of batshit crazy in them eyes -On third divorce I see. -Ohhh -"Nope. You’re adorable, have incredible eyes, and moxie. Do what you want to do for yourself, fuck everyone else because life’s to short, and get rid of any toxic people on your life that make you feel like you need to post here." -Moved out Brooklyn hipster from the 2000’s -Mafiosa delegate champagne bullshit. -"Sorry cant do it, you look fragile" -comment -Usually dayshift strippers hate being photographed. -Waistband permanently stretched from all the dollar bills being stuffed into it. -22 and already looks like she’s 45. Bet she already reeks of captain Morgan. -Her belly button is on its way to visit the other abused orifices. -Looks like a corpse found in Studio54 that someone hid in 1978. -How’s the heroin treatment going? Any side effects? -Those hips were made for granny panties. -Your pants come off so often the drawstring is worn out -"Roast?? - -At best there's only enough meat on those bones to make a weak stock." -"Eat something, cum and drugs are not proper diet." -"Loved you in ""Mask"". This pants make it look like your vagina is trying to escape." -"Looks like the ""after"" in one of those before and after drugs collages." -You look like you would suck someone off for some cigarette buds -I think a belt would be a better gift -Tell your Madonna Wannabe friend that this 'look' is overused and out of shape; like other parts of her body. -"Happy birthday, I'll raise a glass of codein to your health." -Fake news. Madonna is not 22 -Jenny? -22? In leap years? And what the feck is wrong with her naval? -Wouldn't be a very good roast with just bones -Have a sandwich without eating your fingers for dessert. -Happy birthday! Skeletor turns 22 today! -The real Crimson Chin. -Meth is no joke. -That’s a rough 22 years… you sure it wasn’t 22 guys at once? -Are we allowed to roast trans people now? -That belly button is wrong. It almost looks like a poorly sutured vagina. -You need a larger sign to cover the rest of you. -"The circus called, the clowns want their trousers and makeup back." -I'll never know what Forrest Gump saw in you -She's had a nightmare squeezing the e of Roast Me onto that sign. And a nightmare squeezing a face on top of that jaw. -Your skull looks bigger than your pelvic bone. You need a kick stand for your head. -No way in hell are you 22 unless you’re aging backwards. -Hiding your heroine needle marks behind that paper -You can eat more things beside dic* -"Your friend is the Crypt Keeper, from Tales from the Crypt? Holy shit can I get an autograph? " -Looks like she just got finished peeing in a urinal -Loved u in Crackwh*re confessions! Stunning and brave! -22? Has had more work done that a 44 year old. Sheesh slow down save some for the rest of the hags. -Eat a cheeseburger. -I didn’t know meth had a spokeswoman. -Remember that time we wrapped the biology room skeleton in clingfilm? -So happy you survived the holocaust -He has nice hair. -Great Value Scarlet Johansen -22 what? years in the industry? -This guy sold me fentanyl. -"She has potential. Not sure for what exactly, anybody have any ideas?" -Well by look in her eyes the methadone is working. But stop using a sharpie to highlight those crazy crackhead eyes. Anyone else notice the meth head figure on her? -I assume this is a thinly veiled only fans ad and ehhhhh no thanks -Trailer Swift -Her? -"22 year old with 30 years of drug addiction experience, how is that possible?" -Why doesn’t her head match her body? -What is there to roast? There ain't no meat on those bones. -Are you trans because you don't look Like a girl -That caboose already looks loose from over use... -I think she meant she wants to get split-roasted -Put down the pipe and eat a sammich. -"It's a suprise to see you stood up straight usually tranq addicts are stopped over in a zombie like state, hope you get your next fix soon." -She is wearing a diaper or he has a boner. -You are completely average. -I love you ShovelFace -Claire Danes on a weekend bender -Please lay off the crack… you look like a Walmart version of an aging Kate Moss. -Is this Amber Heard’s Sister??? -That piece of paper is the second flattest object in the house. -Kate Winslet if Kate Winslet smoked Meth. Daily. -"What's had more stuffed in it, the gapping vag or that worn out waistband. -I can almost smell rhe truck stop parking lot through this picture." -"""Her"". Yeah, ok." -You sure that isn't M42? -She’s probably dying to show you her spiritual rock collection -"Those pants are made for someone who has a body, ma am" -How gullible do you think we are? You can’t lie in the title of the post like that. No way that’s a female. -"Your 'friend F22' is a cat F5, staring at you in search of food." -God damn that's some fucking chin on you. You've got the skull structure of that tall guy from men in black -Looks like your pussy is slowly sucking up your pants -Ladies and gentlemen it’s Hoe-donna. Here to sing her hit song “Smoked meth for the very first time” -Can’t work out if that’s bad editing or just trousers that don’t fit… -She blows more than that fan behind her! -Isn't what she did to Forrest enough of a roasting? I mean that bitch has to be in hell -Meth. Not even once. -Bro is so ugly the fan can't even look at her -Are you a Kangaroo? -That jawline is the envy of engineers and architects the world over. -That’s a 50yr old stripper if I ever seen one -"Geez, 22yo? You look 42. Thats the effect of crack and getting railed every weekend at the ghetto" -She needs to eat a roast not participate in one -More like “My friend M44 wants to get roasted for his birthday” -Wow she took time from sticking her finger down her throat to pose for a picture. -You look like the less fuckable meth using hooker from Breaking Bad. -"you look like Black Widow if she didn't die in avengers and did crack instead, Crack Window" -Tell her the transition works bests if she remembers to take the pills every day. -If a cadaver could smile -All I see is clothes on a coat hanger -That’s a pretty ironing board. -U look like u work n get paid in fetanyl -"Seriously though, why don’t your pants fit?" -"Wait, is this Christian Bale's machinist cosplay ?" -Say hello to anorexic Annie. Those hips are bone on bone. -"You look like the type of girl to ask your husband are we in danger? - - -.....and also have a son called Walt junior" -"Body of a 22f, face of a 30yr trans stripper…" -The pack a day and meth make that a hard 22. -there's no challenge here -I dont remember skyler white being a meth head -22 going on 62 that is achieved with a daily diet of meth for breakfast coke for lunch and taco bell for supper. she also looks like she makes her money in a back ally LOL -When did he transition? -22 my ass…she’s looks like she’s 42. -22! Good god..thats a lot of being put away wet for 22 short years alive. -Never seen a saggy coochie on a young woman before congratulations happy birthday 😂 -Congrats and happy birthday! You look great for 42. -You look like you suffer from uncontrollable weight loss due to snorting coke every other day. -Why does she look 40? -"She look 35, but stripping is stressful. She’s probably only 21." -She obviously bought those pants before her opioid addiction started. -Dafuq is wrong with those pants she is wearing????????????????????????????? -"How about someone *feeds* her a roast for her birthday. Eat a sandwich or something, lady." -Nosferatoo...much crack -This guy definitely has preferred pronouns. -Looks like your ass is on the wrong side -"Is this ""friend"" here with us in this room now? -And, by birthday, you did mean 42 not 22, yes?" -Were you the daytime hooker on My Name is Earl? -If you turn the pic upside down her legs gives maleficent -"""She is number 3 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan!""." -Why does this birch stick have a roast me sign taped to it -The Sarah Jessica Parker's before pic to whatever turned her into what she is today -Eat something -A nice roast may help those pants fit... -"If she's 22, I'm Bill Gates." -"Babe, it looks like it’s time to change your diaper. Your drawers are lookin’ hella droopy and full for someone with no body mass" -Look old asf -Is her name methany? -I'd rather roast some food to feed your tiny a$$. Your pants are falling. Please eat -"I think you look fine - but what’s up with those -pants? They got to go." -anorexia isn’t something to show off -"You look like a double bagger, one bag for your head, one for mine in case yours falls off." -Prostitute -She looks like she mewing -You look like someone I would hire for *my* friends 22nd birthday. Too bad I dont have more money. -I know those weights on the floor aren’t hers -Your pants gave up -Kind of hot -I can't explain it but....your friend looks like a penis -Throat Goat -Benjamin Slutton -"Has anybody seen brooklyn 99? She is that pissed off bitch, but blonde." -Id rather cover her face in man fluids -I see nothing to roast -"Transition is going well, would fool me in a dark club" -You were terrible in Showgirls -I got an STD looking at this picture… -Budget Julia styles -"Oof, that handwriting though. Most strippers start their careers after high school. This one start at 2nd grade?" -Britney Spears on Ozempic -"Buys smallest pants, still loose." -I want to know how much the OP paid a complete stranger to hold a Roast me sign. -Your eyes would look so much better if they weren't under that mongoloid forehead. Does a carpet match the drapes? Cuz the drapes look moldy. You look more like 42 not 22. You need to stop smoking meth. -"""Their"" birthday" -Is that a feed me sign she is holding? -"Whatever you’re doing, it isn’t working." -Less dope more milk. -"Damn, breaks my heart to see what meth has done to Dakota Fanning." -"With a cock like that, I’ll wager you drive a Trans Am. Looking like you’re trying to see above and below me at the same time. I bet you’re nickname is SID" -22 my ass -Time to get some pants that fit or stop meth -Very trans looking. Actually you might actually be trans. Congrats on the transition 👍 -"I can’t even roast her, she’s gorgeous 😩" -Those baggy pants can’t hide it’s dick. -You look like you're 2 days meth free! -That’s not a female. That’s a man. -She looks like the rejected cum dump for the poison 2024 reunion tour -"First of all, wearing an outfit that makes you look like a crackhead prolly is not the best choice, but if you ain't smoking crack or shootin heroin then please, for the love of God, eat a sandwich." -"NGL, pretty hot but that outfit is awful" -Your make up is done really well and your hair is pretty. -That’s Kirsten who- dunst eat a burger -This is why you shouldn't vape in high school. -Looks nothing like a Lockheed Martin F-22A Raptor -Scarlett Jo-handjob -I actually think she's pretty hot.. -You look like this emo kid I used to beef with… didn’t know their life spiraled down that bad -Make like your waistband and just give up. -"When you purchase an escort, but have a budget" -Thrift store Scarlett Johansson -I like the heroin chic look. -When did Julia styles start using meth? -I haven’t seen this Tim Burton film yet. Does anyone know the title? -He looks like a nice guy -Is the 22 year old behind the dinosaur? -Very doable -Looking like a Costco version of Scarlett Johansson who went on a crack bender for the past 3 months looking ass -I can’t think of anything except that you are beautiful and sexy. ❤️ -Bro paid a prostitute for a picture cause that’s all he could afford plus he looks like he has a friend. -"By the size of her waist, this birthday may be her last" -Proof that waist to hip ratio dont signify sexual attractiveness/femininity -"Now at least I finally understand the term, “Jumping her bones” a little better" -Scarlett Nohansen -I’d fuck her -When you love heroin so much you decide to become the needle -I like her -How about emo Sarah Jessica Parker? -Kangaroo belly -Your hand writing looks like a dead worm -What is wrong with your waistline? Are you pants way to big for your waist or what is going on there? -You are beautiful stop -22 going on 40 -"You have a man face. Your eyes, beautiful, your hair, long and blonde. Amazing. Your body *chef’s kiss, but you take all that away you have the face of an aging Millennial dad who throws overhand pitch at his kid’s baseball game. Happy birthday btw." -Those two dumbbells by the door look like they weigh more and are used less than her -"Maybe there is something fuckin wrong with me(?), but I would smash the fuck outta this slim beauty. She’d probably never walk the same way again, but I would toss her all around the bedroom and relentlessly pound her into her 23rd birthday" -Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. -"Actually, the hottest woman with a chin that long that I've ever seen." -Never thought about fucking skeletor before but here I am -Tweaker Swift -Bargain Cheryl crow with an eating disorder. But great eyes -If Celine Dion were anorexic. -You look like Scarlett Johansson developed a crippling crack addiction -She looks like a extra small g sting will be baggy on her -I actually find you oddly attractive. After I roast you can I slide into your bhole? -You are Beautiful -didn’t know victoria’s secret sold their mannequins -Do pants just not come in your size 🤯 -Alternate reality Madonna who became a desperate housewife. -Kathy griffin stars in thinner -Either you gave birth or went along with a weight loss system. Either way the loose fitting pants are a compliment but you and your friend knew what was gonna happen and with a vacuum in the background I only assume said vacuum was the “surgical tool” -comment -"Daddy, why does dumpster Jesus smell funny??" -Nope only one roast per incarnation. -You again?! You really must hate yourself -Mr. Steal Your Culture? I suppose it's only fair Shiva stole your hairline. -When you can smell pictures. -Congratulations on your ascension to becoming one with everything that smells like mildew. Namaste your ass underneath some soapy water -Guru Shitbreath. -"You don’t look enlightened or wise, you look like you sleep on the sidewalk downtown. Need spare change?" -At least I don’t have to worry about you stealing my hygiene products. -Is regularly drinking your own urine from another culture? -The only roast you need is the scalding hot water of a shower -Sick Rubin -You will be reborn as an owl pellet -12 Fucking pictures...this is r/Roastme not a photo shoot for Homeless gays magazine -WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD TAKE THE HAT OFF?? -You look like you’ve been banned from public restrooms for stealing other people’s urine. -No one wants to keep roasting the same ppl. You had your 5 minutes -Looks like a walking bag of aids . -Dredlocking the rest of your Mr Burns hair to be used as a Hair turban to cover up the Homer Simpsons hair tuft is an insult to two cultures and two cartoon characters. -You're like a mix of a hipster barista and a history professor who’s just given up. -Dude so nasty I had to go wash my phone after three pictures. -I’d rather put small cuts on my ball sack and dip it in vinegar than be in the vicinity of you ………… -You can already tell he won't give you the spliff back -"How do you hide your money from a hippie?? - -Leave it under the soap." -Mr steal my weed -Rasputin -"If, “you give me the heeby jeebys” was an actual human" -"So the drugs didn't work to mask the pain of your traumatic life, so now you have to rely on pseudospiritual bullshit invented during the bronze age?" -"You a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude" -"The Wisdom of Radagast: ""It isn't a comb-over if you've never used a comb""" -There’s always one of these guys in every hostel in Asia. -Get a job -I'm pretty sure these photos gave me fleas and lice -You’re what my MAGA uncle says Vegans look like -What culture are you stealing? The talibans? -"Most worthless people get there from lack of work, but this asshole works incredibly hard to be so meaningless." -In about 5 years there’s probably going to be a really interesting Netflix documentary about the doomsday sex cult you’ve spent your whole life trying to form. -Why are there photos of ballsacks? -Osama Bin Loafin -This guy puts fear in the hearts of Febreze shareholders -These pictures have so many diverse and distinct levels of porta potty smells to them -Those dreads hanging on for dear life -"Jesus, didn’t the British brutalize those people enough?!?" -You look like an extra from the set of monty pythons life of Brian. Not even sure that beard is real.you probably have a bag with a couple of rocks and a packet of gravel -You also look like you culturally appropriate shitting in the street -You know you’ve fucked life when your head is brighter than your future. -If the dirt under an oil worker's fingernails were a person..... -"May the farce be with you, Blow-me Wan Frijole." -The first white man Indian’s don’t immediately welcome into their home. -This is the guy who should have been stuck on an island with a volley ball friend. -It's cool that the corporate board of the Fortune 500 company you founded always let's you take so much vacation time. -"I worked at a Marina years ago, this customer went to France and bought a sailboat. He hired two guys to sail this 30 ft sailboat back to the states. Once they got here the smell in the boat was so bad the guys wife threw up. We tried everything to get rid of the BO smell. I just wouldn’t die. You look like one of those guys." -Homelessness isn't a 'culture' -Bro. Social media ain't for you. Live your life. Stay away from here. -Hopefully your next entry visa gets cancelled -isn’t this the guy that posted the roast me and spent days defending himself in the comments? -Stealing some culture would be your best bet. -"Honest question, why do people come back and repost to get roasted….again? I genuinely don’t understand the fascination. Especially when there’s barely any time in between posts?" -"- Cheech and Chong’s sequel to Cast Away is coming to fruition. -- This is what happens when you walk into a barber shop and ask for a reverse mohawk with dreads. -- Buffalo Bill after discovering cannabis. “It puts the weed in the pipe or else it gets the hose again.” -- ZZ No-Top" -"“Om Shanti! Om Shanti! Om Shanti!” - -“If you are gonna wear a Dhoti you should learn the tuck.” - -“The saffron suits you, really brings out the color of your eyes.” - -“Watch out for those Shiva Lingas/Lingums.” - -“You should be able to find plenty of white women at those Ashrams who want to learn and practice Trantra (tantric sex) while chanting/muttering Mantras (spells/prayers) with you.” - -“Alternatively those white women at those Ashrams will appreciate learning Yoni Yoga with you and then getting you to do the Yoni Puja to them.” - -etc etc lmfao. - -Boy, are you in for a wild ride. lmao. lmfao. - -Those white women at those Ashrams are desperate for cock every single day, all that spicy food makes them shit fire every day and keeps them frisky all the time, and the Indian Gurus just ain’t big enough to satisfy their needs/desires, so you’ll just have to step up and fill in. lmfao. lmfao." -Looks like you’re ready to be on the front cover of Rage Against the Machine’s self titled album -Were you in the movie Fletch -Try stealing some soap. And there are bodies a week dead that look younger than you. And smell better. -Duck Dynasty meets Haight Ashbury. -you gotta job as a low budget Rasputin impersonator. -My 33rd birthday is in 10 days and this made me feel great. Thanks man. -"Imagine being 33 and looking like this. I mean, my looks have gone downhill in the last 10 years, but I'm about to be 43. This fella here looks like he's 53. Hasn't seen a razor since he was 33. Hasn't seen deodorant since he was 23. And hasn't seen his dad since he was 13." -Photos you can smell -And they say the American Taliban isn't real -"You look 12, 35, and 70 all at the same time" -Didn’t know homeless people had phones. -"I love your style and how natural you are. It's obvious that you're a complete fucking moron, but I love it nonetheless." -"Dude made his hair into a turban to hide his hairline, that's a new one lol." -Nobody asked for proof of life bro -"Again, Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen, was murdered over 100 years ago." -This is PEAK fru fru hipster. You could never top this with your Birkenstocks -He needs to have his own picture book called Where’s Weirdo -Bro did too many drugs and thinks he's a guru or some shit -That's a cute two-headed dog you have there -The fake Ram Dass. We shall call you Ham Ass -Mr Steal My Acid -A cult leader with no followers :'( -You look how wet dog smells. -Not the dread combover lmaooooo -His photos just prove that every country has bums and homeless people -"""Thar's gold in them there elephant pants!""" -Yoffy lifts a finger…and a mouse appears. -if roch theriault was indian instead of french canadian. -Damn bro you really have no talents or hobbies -if cultural appropriation had an avatar -"Let me guess, you took drugs and thought you reach nirvana just because you have never been introspective in your sober life. - -Many such cases" -"""no! I swear it's cool! I'm 1/34th indian!!""" -"It seems to me that all this you've been through, your life, your beliefs, all for one thing, to hide the shape of your head.." -No again Hare Krishna Hare Rama -"You didn't ""steal"" anyone's culture. Your dad bought it for you." -You look like the poster boy for an early 90’s D.A.R.E. Commercial. -Holi shit -The Dali Lame-uh -I guarantee your mother doesn't want to look at 12 pictures of you ...we sure as fuck don't -Hare Methamphetamine Crack Na Hare -Why do your hands look like you’ve been in a pool all day -"Bro. Please let that hair go. You’re bald, stop hanging on to the last bit of it." -Have a pretty large social media presence for a dead guy.... -"""an here you can see the body of Rasputin after having been stabbed, poisoned and thrown into the Moscova""" -u/Raspubic -Hairline Krishna -Dude straight up you look like you are 54 years old. Holy shit . -Ascended master looking ass 🤣 -You look like you live a rad existence -"Ah yes, the 'I gave up shampoo and dreams at the same time' look. You’re giving off ‘I meditate daily,’ but somehow still managed to manifest a receding hairline. Those dogs look like they’re hoping you’ll find a shower or at least some basic life direction. Namaste, but also, no thanks." -"Imagine the yellowish dick cheese, caked up under the ridge, of the head , of a penis , of a 70 year old hobo . Imagine him wiping it and you smelling it . - - -That’s what you smell like right now." -I've lived long enough to see someone actually use dreads as a combover ffs -"""Steal your culture"" addressing the dairy aisle there mate. Yogurt has more culture than you." -Joe Earth the hillbilly bohemian -The hair in my drain finding an identity of its own -"You have that face, lord Krishna would love to slap it with all of his 8 hands." -Whose culture you stealing homeless people? -For someone seemingly spiritual you sure do seek a lot of attention online -The one dude that even Indians can't stand sitting next to on a train -What the actual fuck is wrong with you -"You seem like you're the guy from high maintenance on HBO. Not a roast more compliment, but you should watch if you haven't already" -How do you hide money from a hippy? Put it under the soap! -"Woodstock 69 in the front, Woodstock 99 in the back." -Do the dreadlocks all fall out in sections as the hair recedes further or bit by bit ? -“hey can I borrow some of your culture??…….. and some money?” -Your pictures are asking me if they can bum a cigarette -"The walking epitome of cultural appropriation, also stop making the videos of walking around with the fancy bong and trying to get people to hit it." -What's rotating on your turntable? -Mr steal your culture -I’m sorry but I’m going to have to report you for animal cruelty. Those 2 dogs have clearly passed out from your stench. -I didn’t know that homeless people could afford international travel. -Ghandi would choose violence to not be near you -He has a dread over instead of a comb over. -"The top of the head, billionaire, the rest down, homeless" - Alan Ginsburg - in the larva stage. -I thought someone was trolling by posting a pic of the leader of that children of the ants cult lol… -Homeless activities -" Are you related to Mike Love from The Beach Boys? I can’t tell if you’re an ass hole or not. -best !" -Got the dangle berries out of your beard yet? -I lost it at the dreadlock combover -What in the Charles Manson is this shit -I hate you and your choices -"I can smell the patchouli, BO, weed, and feet through the internet. 🤢" -"Don't fall for it, folks. Rasputin survived several attempts on his life. A roasting isn't going to finish the job." -Why do you look photoshopped? -"Dude, I can’t roast you, you look like a Hindu chad god with that magnificent beard." -Straight up looking like you fill the bong up with ass juice instead of water. Gaht dayum -Bathes in the Ganges. -Hin-doo-doo. -I bet birds live in your beard -I have to wash my phone screen now. Thanks Mr steal your girls worn underwear -Why is your face upside down? -"I dont even smoke, and this dude makes me want to hide my weed." -Bald with dreads is wild -The sad old man dreads wrapped atop the head to hide the horrors is the most white thing ever -I didn't know you could make a hat from you're own hair!. That makes a comb over look like a booger -"Instead of winding those dreadlocks around your pate, why don’t you just let those two dogs shit on your head. Not only would it look better, it’d probably SMELL better." -Where's the sword an the hat wizard. I know I can smoke weed with you. So bust out. It's gotta 4:20 somewhere -Your series on Netflix gonna be #1 -"In high school (2004 ) i met a homeless traveling man just like you, did you ever lived in tecate mexico around that time?" -Your head is so bald that even Rogaine is promoting this post. -Wizard dont need an orb. They can ponder your shiny head. -You look like a baby crowning during birth from an extremely hairy pussy. -The dreadlock comb-over is new lol -How can I roast a man living a lifestyle I inspire to live. 🫡 -I've seen combovers but I've never seen a dread turban -"No wonder you can't find a girl, you blend in everywhere you go!" -"Oh look, old Greg got a passport and started traveling. Good for you old Greg, good for you." -Didn't you die off that bridge in Russia? Can't believe that crazy wizard guy is back! -Looks like my crazy ex gringo bf who wanted so bad to be an “inca” (i’m from Peru) “jungle shaman” “curandero” but hindu version. -What in the deliverance hillbilly elegy is this mf? -I lived in India for 3.5 years as a teenager and never met bigger stinky losers than these wannebe yoga gurus -Guys I think this is Matthew Silver https://youtu.be/LIVjYzUI9XI?si=I8ONd5BpT_HkRPTc -My dog just farted and I thought I gained the ability to smell pictures. -Charles Manson and Buffalo Bill's illegitimate trans son. -"Namaste, cracker." -Do you live in India without speaking the language? Just curious. Namasgay 🙏 -There's something special about a long haired bald man. Especially when is some trust fund kid that took way too much acid. Culture? Like the bacteria cultures you're growing on your body? You look like you'd sleep on the couch by choice. -Does your shower drain ever offer to make you schwarma? -The Hinduest Geezer -Bet you don't even smoke weed -"Do you really roll your hair up like rope on a boat and wear it like a wig? - -I’m not even roasting, I’m completely baffled" -I'm a bit jealous I don't live this way -Tsa must be fun -He fingers his own ass and then brushes his teeth with the same finger to freshen up. -"You really shouldn't let those puppies sit on you, they'll get mange." -Steal your culture? More like Mr steal your kids -Dude woke up one day and decided to become Chester the Molester. -Goes to India to smell normal… -"You only get one roast, ya dirty hippy. Go on. Git." -"Not only do you look like a drug addicted charles Manson, but you also try to be like him mr fake yogi." -“Mr steal your culture “ 💀🤣 love it -"Destined to die in a bear enclosure, dressed in a hippy version of a tuxedo, screaming ""but.. I love your soul Baloo!!""" -Sometimes I wish our Roastees would just post a single picture. This is one of those times -"All that inner peace is shining through. - -You look - -So - -Happy" -That mofo 53 stop lying sir -You make the homeless guys in Detroit look clean. -Did you make a hat out of your hair??? -Not really a roast but you look more like the main guy from High Maintenance than he even does -Thirft store rob zombie -What happen to your jatta in the front? -Shittmapants Gandhi -Never have I been more fearful for a couple of dogs. -✋️ -bro is most definitely homeless -Fucking legend. I wanna bring you to a party. -"Post history says after his 7th psychonautic adventure on LSD, he thought he became one with God and wanted to spread love. But he also does heroin and is homeless." -Dreadlock comb over? -You’re different! You did it!! Congratulations on being sooooo different from everyone else! You’re definitely *not* just a generic white dude… I wonder what you have in your music library! It’s probably so far above and beyond what anyone else has the capacity to appreciate and enjoy. -You have no friends -There’s no way people like you exist unironically -"Why did all of your hair migrate? You look like you can’t be within 500 feet of a church or elementary school. I’d guess you’re in a biker gang but you look like the one member that got diagnosed so they still let you ride. As a religious man, I shouldn’t make fun of you.. but you look like a reincarnation of the Buddha with more facial hair." -If you were a super hero you'd be The Repurposed Redneck and your power would be pretending you're not racist -These photos wouldn’t exist if your lifestyle was actually genuine. -Men will really steal your culture instead of just admitting they want to wear a skirt -Jai mahakaal -How are you this hairy and bald -Most of these are just mean. They aren't even funny. -"A shower is his greatest punishment, hygiene is his greatest enemy" -You look you need a bath and a hair cut. -"Be Gone Now - -the Yoganahbrah" -I’m not good at roasts so I apologize but those dogs are cute -Is there a special word for people who put themselves up to be roasted again? This is not the first time he’s asked to be roasted! -Why can I smell you through my phone? -I have never seen a dreadlocks combover -Dude you just made me lol. Thank you -ShitDhartha -I can smell you through my phone. -"Everyone is going to say you are stealing Hundi, Arabic, or at least some Middle Eastern/ Indian cultures. I'm going to narrow it down even further and say Egyptian. I say Egyptian, for it looks like you died several years ago. You were mummified, and now you walk amongst the living once again." -Wrapping the dreads to hide the bald had me laughing -"you look like a homeless man cosplaying as bob ross just withot the art, future, or good smell." -"Listen Jesus, I don’t like what I see…" -I thought comb overs were bad.. dude made a hair beanie! -"Should you ever try to get a job and they ask about your years in India, say that you volunteered for whatever really. Saying you were in a cult where everyone smoked 2 ounces of pod a day „to find themselfs“ usually doesn‘t work well" -You look absolutely ridiculous. -Moldilocks -"""DONT TELL ME MANNN!!! I WAS THERRE!""" -You look like Strapping Young Lad-era Devin Townsend if he dropped his metal side and embraced his New Age side exclusively -"If anyone asks me what a cult leader looks like, I'd show them this guy" -You look like male prostitute Gandalf. “You shall not smash!” -The dreaded dreads combover -I hope the dog is ok. Please take care of it -Namaste upwind of this guy 🤢 -Wook at yourself. -"Aw how sweet, pictures of you and your lover ✋ Palmala Handerson." -Just looking at your pictures made me double check if my wallet is still there. -"When Charles Manson saw your picture he said, ""at least I'm not that""." -You can smell those pictures -Imagine meeting a woman with your dread nest hairdo and then later revealing your cueball. -"You look like you smell like crap. Literally. -33? Are you sure not 53? -Picture 4 - That’s one way to hide a bald spot. At least you can say you don’t have a combover, I guess. -Now go back to the airport and beg for money for Hare Krishna." -I can smell you from here -Do you have to defend your head from sherpas leading businessmen to the top -"You don’t get high from Mary Jane, Mary Jane gets high from you." -I got absolutely nothing. You look fun as hell to hang out with. Also super down to earth for a spiritual person. Rock on dude -Eat pray meth head ah -Bro is a Picasso -"Gotta hand it to him, bros been around.. he be touching grass.. and im it wished he hadnt" -Crack Sparrow is here for the sequel. -Now I know what a hairy thumb looks like. -Using your own hair as a wrap around coil toupee is pretty genius. -"I know you didn't steal my culture, which isn't ""look like a homeless asshole you would cross the street with your children to avoid."" - -But hey, you do you. Hopefully, with fewer drugs." -No lie tho he look like the best person to be at a rave party -Yeah this guy works -"Kids this is why we don’t eat mushrooms, even on pizza, it always starts with just one.., but do you want to end LIKE THIS? - -(wild exaggerated gestures in OP’s direction)" -"You really looked at modern society and thought ""fuck it"". - -You know what I respect that. Strange and odd, maybe, but a mind of your own you do have at least." -I’ve never actually roasted anyone but I had to comment to say you’re absolutely appalling. -"Damn dude, save some pussy for the rest of us" -Always got one 🤚 up like swearing oath in court -You censored every face except the one I wish I could unsee. -When you take your job at the CIA way too seriously. -"I thought Charles Manson died, guess he was backpacking in Thailand and doing whip it's this whole time." -Mfs will steal anything except a shower coupon at Flying J -"I’m sure the lice, pubic crabs, and scabies are living their best life" -Aren’t they looking for you on I 75 -You know them locks smell wild lol -The only thing you've ever stolen is a woman's sense of safety -Temu Yakov Smirnoff -Try stealing a breath mint next time. -What made you this way? -33 white male going on 60 Afghan rebel -Need nose plugs to look at these pictures -I can smell the patchouli and hear widespread panic through my phone. -56 never looked better -Mr steal your culture ran into Mr steal yo hair -I hope your dog isn't vegan. -Turd Burgleson -Who needs a hat when you got dreads that can be weaved together this ain’t really a roast -"Dreads from what remains of your hairline is a bold move. No roast, respect." -I’ve seen people comb their hair to cover up bald patches but the hair turban is a first. -That blurred photo looked exactly like the handiwork of a man who registers his address. -"A Hare Krishna fucked up lumberjack. - -fr there are so many things to say about these pics I don't know where to start" -Headline: Beardmeatsfood falls on hard times after completing every eating challenge on earth -"Is he a great Wizard, or is he more like you?" -Why would you enter yourself in such an event as this? You’re from the shire -"Ah Maurice you're so nonpareil, but I liked the first batch of pictures better" -You look bat shit crazy lady -"“ I want Jesus in my life” -Mom: “we have Jesus at home” - -Jesus at home: You." -Back by unpopular demand. Bigger balder and dirtier than ever! -I can't bring myself to roast you. Your dreads bro. Absolutely beautiful! What a long journey!!! -you're good enough. smart enough. and gosh darn it people like you. -I can't roast this... bro ur already so toasted that you're like ashes in a firepit -"Nice beard, Guru." -My wife told me to close the app because this dude was stinking up the room. -"I figured out a roast! - -You have the most hair I've ever seen on a bald man!" -What in the Holy Manson Krishna are you?! -Tying the hair up to wear like a hat is crazy -Johnny Sins method acting is insane! -"I’m pretty sure this is the probable demigod I refer to as the wanderer. I met him while climbing a mountain. He was blaring music, smoking a foot long blunt, and walking directly up the steep slope as if he was floating. Dogs and all." -"Bro, I ain't even lie at first I thought you were a Siberic Shaman" -This is perfection. No insulting needed. -Honestly seems like a chill dude. -"Ah it’s he here for the second coming… of David Koresh 😅🤣 - -Honestly tho man, I think you’re probably living the way 99% of Americans wish they could, free." -How does homie have a face of a 20-year-old and the hairline of a 50-year-old? -Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your beard -I feel like I haven’t accomplished much in my 32 years on this earth. OP is a year older than me. I’m doing just fine. -"Lmao he said roast, not fucking incinerate 😂😂😂 cremate 😭😭😭" -"Well, I have heard of a combover. - -I've never heard someone actually using their beard in order to do so. And to make it into a turban." -How can one roast..one that’s already roasted.. stay true to it my friend god bless -"That guy that smells like tandoori chicken, sweat and garlic from a mile, always posts about his trips in subcultures and being friendly with them, and one day gets mugged and found dead in some backyard alley of some third world country, makes some quick news and then everyone forgets him" -How’s the trust fund? -You were in a country which is not for beginners. -I like dis guy -You’re just using us to try to lose your ego! Which is an ego based desire so u will just increase your ego! Ha! There! Five more lives for you! -love a day in haridwar. -Maneeee wtf are you doing in India??? -Final passport bro boss. -"Those dreads / bald ass combo is something else.... you have the whole spectrum of hair hating it's host. - -The ones that have left you, and the ones to dead and matted to get away." -I know we are supposed to roast you but I think you’d be awesome to hangout with -"when Cthulu is wished to be human by the dragon balls, and is sent to live in a third world country" -"Bro is a Rastafarian, an orthodox monk, and a buddhist all at the same time..." -Howz about a burger 🍔 🐮 🙏👳‍♂️ -"Picture number 2 you don't wear a saree as a man! You wear a Dhoti! There's a difference! - -And I thought you were educated!" -I see myself in you and i don’t like it. -Hindu equivalent of weeaboo -"You’ve heard of comb-over. - -Get ready for dreads-over." -If the song 🎵 Here I go again 🎵 has a picture. -"""I'm a homeless stranded tourist in India"" 🫷😑 - -""This is just what Indian culture is about"" 👈😏" -I am leaving this sub because of you. -The fact that you used your dreads to make a turban. -I like the shit-swirl dreadlock combover -Did your guru tell you to seek us out to extinguish your ego once and for all? -How lost can you be ? This person : Yes ! -I’ve got to say hiding baldness by wrapping your lock around your head is brilliant. I wonder how many girls woke up the day after and were crushed when the ketamine wore off -Im sorry but the comments were just repetitive and racist nothing like roast element in them -"Ram Ram again bhai ji, respect for you brotha 🫵" -"you look wise and homeless, may the gods bless us both this day" -Hara Mahadeva! I take it you're pretty serious in your religious convictions and don't use it as an excuse to smoke weed or so. -"The teeth in that one pic was a jumpscare, did NOT expect that" -"Namaste is short for “nah man stay away” - -Also wrapping your dreads up to hide your baldness is a hilarious strategy" -The Aryan back to his homeland. -Charlatan baba -"You smoked weed once and now think of yourself as spiritually enlightened when really you just got psychosis. You only do this all to impress people but don't realize you're making a massive ass of yourself. - -You never slept with a woman and you never will. Take a bath." -I like how he wraps his dreadlock around his pointy bald head like a poop. It’s like a poop shaped comb over. -"John Travolta in ‘From Paris with love’ in the front, John Travolta in ‘Battlefield Earth’ in the back." -Go on a 5 mile run in the morning. Eat taco bell. Work outside all day and when you wipe only use one sheet. at the end of the night put your finger on your asshole. Smell it. That's what he smells like! -"Dude read a copy of Be Here Now and now he thinks he’s a holy man, just another hippie wearing a costume and going through yet another phase, only this time he’s old and it’s cringe, probably used to be a punk rocker, just can’t be himself." -No roasting from me I'm afraid. I'd pay to just sit down and have a chat with you about what the fuck happened. -"All of that and I bet you still can't even speak a sentence in the local language. - -*This is just a joke/roast. I hope it's not true.*" -Rasputin hasn't aged a day... True sign of dark wizardry. -I haven’t seen a cave woman in forever! -"Religious Version: We don't need to roast you because you'll already be roasting for eternity in hell for repping the wrong spiritual set, cuz." -"This ""character"" that you are playing isn't all about forsaking the world and not caring what others say? Why do you seem so desperate for validation on the internet, then?" -Looks like Mr. Steal Your Parents Retirement -You may remember me as the hitchhiker you sped past to not get murdered. -comment -The OP has not provided a BIO for their post. -People tend to automatically speak loud and slowly when they meet you don’t they? -He pets bunnies too hard. -I think your lips got installed upside down. -It looks like someone painted a face on a big toe. -Hide your crayons when he comes over -Me on the Reddit. Me hold a sign. Me a good boy. -"I'll sit this one out, cuz I don't like punching ""down""." -Your upper lip has caps lock on. -You look like a 90’s stereotypical bully who picks on kids because of his closeted homosexuality. -You’re built and dressed like an uglier Michael Myers -I bet nothing below your top lip gets wet in the shower -He lookin all smug because he has an extra chromosome -Yarp. -I respect this business for hiring mentally handicapped special needs employees. -"Sorry man, we can’t roast the mentally challenged anymore. It’s 2024 not 1935 " -Looks like he’d be a main character on Idiocracy. -Your face has a lisp. -Dude looks like he microwaves socks -This dude looks like the offspring of a chicken and big mouth bass. -How in the hell are you sad and happy at the same time? -Your dad's pull out game is the only thing that's weak as hell; this guy looks like he'd freak out if different foods on his plate touched each other. -"A real life Lennie from Of Mice and Men. That’s a book, by the way, have your probation officer explain it to you." -Is that a bad underbite? Or did he lose all his teeth smoking meth? Or did he pull em to make it easier to suck dick? -Winner of the 2024 r/RoastMe ‘Person most likely to have a bag of nipples in the fridge’. -"You look like you were drawn by Mike Judge, with that top lip overhanging your bottom one like Grandpa Simpson" -"""Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade."" Mmmmm hmmmmmm." -You look like you smell like piss -I feel like he mistook a tube of superglue for toothpaste and is just too shy to admit it. -With that mouth he could suck the marrow from the bone -Our jokes are weak as hell? Has he looked at his hairline or chin? -"Some Walgreens employee saw you buy a comb and said nothing. They knew it was wrong, but they let it happen" -"Tell me you have punched holes in walls, without telling me" -"I mean, it's a waste of time roasting this fuckstain... It's not like he'd understand what we were saying. His birth certificate is a letter of apology from the Trojan corp." -Dude looks like he’s a few fries short of a happy meal… -I wonder if his chromosome count and IQ will high five on their way by each other. -This guy peaked in 7th grade -I respect your employer. Allowing a safe workplace for the mentally disabled is very admirable. -Only thing weak as Hell is your lower jaw. -" Is this an AI generated image of what cro-magnon man would look like in 1987 if a blind, special needs child cut his hair?" -I think I saw you in men in black -Tom Hardly -Why would your bottom and top lip switch places like that? -Forever destined to have a job with his name on his shirt. -Wheelchair Lex Luger looking ass... -His lip is somehow more concerning than the interest rate on his Dodge Charger.  -This creature's biggest threat is a plastic straw floating in the ocean. -Did he (over)bite off more than he can chew? -Beetledouche beetledouche beetledouche -Extra chromy homie. -Sloth from the goonies has aged well -Actually looks like a sperm -You look like the judge doom without teeth on who framed Roger rabbit. -O’Doyle Rules!!! -Patrick Star as a real boy -"This dude taught the Hawk Tuah girl how to hawk tuah! Trouble is, he taught her when she was 9." -"Jason Voorhees, put your mask back on!" -"You're fucking with us, right?" -We all send thoughts and prayers to your missing lower lip. Hope it’s found safe soon. -Lower lip on backorder? Parts shortages these days are wild. -"Pro Tip: Next time you get a drink of water, tape the toilet lid up so it won't keep hitting you in the back of your head." -Homie is always making a face like he just farted and is waiting for you to smell it. -Homie looks like a Barbarian walking into a town hoping to get his dick touched by someone else. -"I'd punch you in the face, but I don't wanna get my hand ugly." -I know you hiding some teeth that could eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence. Cmon man. Smile for the camera 😁 -The jokes are as weak as your lower lip . Or is there buck teeth pushing out the upper lip ? -You look like Cory Taylor had a lobotomy and also can’t be within 500 feet of a school. -Answer to the question: what would the son look like if Rob Gronkowski had sex with a rock -"He really said, ""Good luck."" - -Homie hasn't had any good luck in years." -You have the look that you were beaten with a coat hanger as a child. Then your mom switched to a belt after you were born. -Goonies 2: Son of Sloth -How can he say our jokes are weak when his lower lip looks like it didn’t have the strength to finish developing? -Jawline has left the chat -"Bruh invented the term “don’t give me no lip” - -Dude’s lips are cosplaying as hotdog buns. - -Imagine the overbite? I bet when he sneezes, he bites a chunk off of his chest." -Our jokes are as weak as his chin -Duck billed fuckinpuss -The only reason he said this sub was weak is because he is unable to read the actual comments -You look like you eat baby corn with a fork -The only weak is your homie bottom lip! -Never seen a person look like a featherless parrot -We have Mads Mikkelsen at home. -Buddy built like a rubber ducky -Jeffery Dahmer -Are you NAVY? -"Quack, quack" -Why tf do you only have one lip? You look like Sloth from The Goonie's *slightly* less deformed brother. -You look like a thumb with lips inside of a fuckin jumpsuit. -Weaker than his bottom lip? -I was just wondering what happened to that Canadian dude who gave the internet weather updates. -Do you eat biscuits and mustard and sharpen lawn mower blades? -If ass kisser was a person -"Discount bin Andy Dufresne, his parents are definitely related." -"Fedwhore ""The Last Downy"" Emelianenko" -He reminds me of the goombas in the original super Mario bros movie -"I've heard of resting bitch face, but this guy's got resting shit face." -"3 pictures of you shitting yourself. Guessing the ""homie"" stretched out your sphincter?" -"Be a good boy, and I'll tell you about the rabbits again." -Sting’s special son they don’t talk about. -"Are you sure he didn't scream ""Heeeyyyyy you guuuuyyys!""" -We found him the toon who framed Roger rabbit -bro looks like he has a craving for sugar water -Trailer park Henry Rollins -why you have lips like you on the simpsons -Looks like a rejected make a wish kid -“Yarp” lookin motherfucker. -Futurama mouth -Dude looks like the live action Perry platypus from Phineas and Ferb. -You’re not allowed to live less than a 1000ft from a school. -"If they ever remake Of Mice and Men or The Goonies, this guy is going to get some acting work." -"Why the long face, fella?" -Did he find a bee nest by accident? Or does he just have those dick lips? -If Donald Duck was a human. -Simpson’s character working at Duff -Dude look like a push pop. -Your upper lip is in a race with your nose. -Hey you guys -Lucky you op. I’ve never met a thumb thumb in person before -Hairline farther than the possibility of getting Chaseoh on a treadmill. -"LOVE UR UGLY FACE, LIKE NATURAL MUCH?" -"""See, I punch my chin like this... It keeps my lip plump and kissable.""" -"""Bro's got beforehead, forehead and afterhead."" - --Chat Music" -Early seasons Simpsons character -Cosplaying as a used Q-tip I see. -"Oh he definitely spits everywhere when he talks. -You’re standing in the splash zone for someone with a mouth like that." -Bro looks like his top lip tastes food minutes before his bottom one. -We need to find and report this care worker that is setting up his clients for roasts -trying too hard to hang on to the patch of bleached grass on his head bru 🙏 -I’m surprised no one has said Mr. meaty yet -His mother is his sister. -Why is your bottom lip running away from your face? -you look like a limp carrot that's been in the back of the refrigerator for 6 weeks -Whats with the Simpson lip on that guy? -Those dick suckin' lips tho -I bet that forehead got satellite connectivity. -Is there a dildo up your ass or do you naturally look like that? -He’s not gay but has definitely held a dick in his mouth until it went off -The Jokes aren’t as weak as his lame ass mustache. -Quack quack -Young Hide The Pain Harold ass -Baaaby Ruuuth??? -Tell your boy I said he looks like a nice guy! -This is the only guy who needs to buy 3XL scarfs. I can’t decide if you look more like Sid The Sloth or one of the dumb Nazi guards from Duke Nukem. From the shoulders up you look like an uncircumcised penis. -That’s an upper lip even Alex Honnold couldn’t climb -Howard the Duck fucked Dewey Duck and out came this simpering twat -This man takes his dentures out for roast me pics and sucking boners. -You look like Bruce Willis’ nemesis in his care center. -Better tuck in that lip you'll get it caught on a trip wire.. oh wait -What is that face? Did someone fart in your mouth? -Still can’t exactly tell which on is your chin… or where your top lip ends and your bottom one begins -Baby heads on adult bodies are so fucking disturbing. -Factory worker & insurrectionist. Nice. -Jeffrey Dahmers left overs -Of course he thinks they’re weak. Having to sound out more than one sentence takes too much time to reverberate through his chins. -"Bro I actually deployed with this guy in 2018 💀 - -Todd FOD, the FOD God says hello" -"""You're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a stranger offers you a ride, I say take it!"" -Grandpa Simpson" -It's hard to roast creatures that secreat there own protective layer of slime I guess he chooses to look that way by choice to keep the children out of his yard -"Homie doesn't look 3-d, is the ""failed cardboard cutout"" intentional?" -How stoned is this guy? -...it's like someone taught Lurch to salute the Fatherland. -"The last time I saw a head like yours, I shook it and tucked it back in my pants" -your head reminds me of a half shaven ball sack. -"Definitely tries to hang with the big dogs by bringing his own Oregano, but bring ACTUAL Oregano. Malibu's most wanted IRL without the happy ending" -Looks like someone took a dusty cum rag from Iain Dowie and 35 years later you are looking at it’s insipid offspring -You look like Frankenstein fucked a duck billed platypus. -"Change your face.... - - - -https://youtu.be/_tOakzcUx_A?feature=shared" -What in the sweet home Alabama are you? You look like your daddy took his sister back behind the dumpster on prom night and forgot to pull out. -You look awfully excited about tendin to those rabbits. -" Donald duck fucked.... - -This thing here survived... - -Oof!!!" -Looks like a character from the hills have eyes -You look like you have to think about breathing or you pass out. -What are you crying about? Did your cousin turn down your advances? -You the type to protect a fish from the sea by putting it up a tree -You look like you were simultaneously the molester and the molested -"If u stopped shaving, u’d have more hair! ……..(wait for it)…..on ur ballsack!" -you travel much? might wanan visit turkey real quick -This dudes mouth is always extra moist. When he talks spittle flies everywhere like he’s marking his territory. -I am so sorry your mom drank heavily during her pregnancy with you. -You work your local truck stop restroom glory hole -Mike Myers but if the mask was his actual face. -You look like Howard the Duck. -"Nice comb over. You going for that wispy, not hanging on to reality look?" -If daffy duck and anyone with autism had a baby. -Your lips are shut and I can still tell your grill is busted -look like a fucking duck -You look like the short bus refuses to stop at your place -When a clown forgets to wear make up.... -"You have a very very low IQ, I see." -Best rack I have seen on one of these in ages. -Jason Vorhees all grown up -Jokes about as weak as that chin. -"What's your favorite drink? - -SUGAR WATER" -You’re gunna live with me now….because you ugly… mahhhhhhh -Real life Homer Simpson. -"Bro has a punchable face, but looks like he's already been repeatedly punched lol" -That face looks weak as hell -The real life Beaker -"Don't ask him about his body count. He'll give you an honest answer in the double digits, but it won't be the type of body count you're expecting." -Damn upper lip needed a building permit. -Looks like you’ve been chained in a basement by your mother and two brothers. -You look like the wish version of Jason Russo -You look like a drug addled version of Santa's little helper. -I bet you like french fried pertaters mmmmhhmmm -His mom taught him he needed to shit himself to have a great smile. His mom was wrong. -Tell your custodian duck lipped friend his pathetic mug reminds me of a picture I saw once of an engorged bleeding humongous hemorrhoid -"Mads Mikkelsen's cousin, Fags Dikkelsen." -T-T-Timmy -PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ! -As weak as that chin trying to hold up those fucked up duck lips. -Extra chromosome Corey Taylor -"Drinks Keystone Ice, hits on women he has no chance with and sees no problem with being uncircumcised. Definitely from Michigan." -You look like you suck on your bottom lip any time you need a snack -You're the guy Rob Gronkowski is trying to channel every time he films a commercial. -Looking like Seaman Semen -Not as weak as his chin though. That’s some proper incest going on there! -Good luck in plastic surgery -Brother looks like Launchpad McQuack. -You look like a duck who finally landed a steady job after years of smoking crack and sucking dick. -That overbite though lol. Even your upper lip naturally folds over the lower lip. -I'll bet he was giving you head as you posted this. -Upside down pouty lip -I know which town you grew up in: Habsburg. -Your hair is leaving you like your bottom lip -Your family tree is a tumble weed. -I can't tell if that's a smug look on your face or if you have REALLY bad gas. -Looks like young Homer Simpson. Doh! -"For a minute, I thought I was looking at newborn pictures edited onto a man's body." -Why does his top lip look like a birds beak? -Who’s going to read these comments to him? -The son of Dolph Lundgren...I'm sure of it🤣 -"I know your pronoun is ""It"". - -It's like Sloth, Michael Armstrong, and Buffalo Bill fucked a thumb." -The Forrest Gump is strong with this one -Dudes upper lip so big he looks like he’s turning into Donald Duck -"Get Dick Tracy on the horn, Lips Manless is on the loose!" -You look like a foot with a single toe growing out of it. -Where u buy that head who sewed it on -"Is he sticking his upper lip way out and sucking in his jawline, or does he always look like his parents named him Doofy? He looks like he carries a gold plastic police badge in his velcro wallet." -"I can hear your lisp through the picture. - -I’d bet my life you say “ I have no problem with gay people as long as they don’t hit on me “ …" -"Ever see the movie "" Basket Case""? - - -This guy was the guy in the basket." -You look like what crawls out of the drain after the freshman have been jerking off in the shower all semester -"Lots of spittle flecks when you get excited, huh?" -"Putin called, he wants his lips back" -This is your brain. This is your brain after sucking exhaust fumes from your short bus -You look like your parents were siblings and while they made you your grandpa watched from the closet -Pecker with ears -Have you guys seen his baseball? -"Well no shit, a male chicken head!" -If it was hot outside I'd sit under his upper lip for shade -Tf going on with that top lip? First thing I noticed -I’d tell him thank you for your service on memorial day -You look like you have a favorite flavor of windex. Are you siblings with your parents by chance? -"He's rebuilding a transmission in his living room, while his old lady is busting some hot rails in the garage with his pals on a nice summer night in Bakersfield." -Waiting for your denture reline? -His biggest accomplishment is that he dresses himself. -Trying to hide that double chin by tilting the head upwards isn’t fooling anyone -comment -Roasted so hard the account got deleted. -We didn’t need 16 pictures to know you’re seeking attention -Be gentle. Here's 16 photos of me posing for you. -We don’t need 16 photos to prove you’re insecure. -"No attention at r/rateme -Ended up posting at r/roastme - -This is how thirsty you are." -16 pictures? It’s a roast not a fucking photoshoot. -The fact that you posted 16 pics of yourself on a roast says everything about why you're single. -This is why gen z isn’t having sex -Bottom .5% of Only Fans -they dont text back on purpose dear.. sorry. -She’s got a wolf pussy 💯 -You are like a living pair of ass-less chaps. -The room must groan when you're about to read your poetry at an open mic -Looks like you trying to hide a monkey in your arm pit -"I wish you'd post a few more pics, can't tell how insecure and desperate for attention you are just from the 20 you posted" -You look like you’d pick up gum off the sidewalk and eat it if someone told you it would make you artsy and different. -"How can you tell a girl doesn't shave her armpits? - -Don't worry, she'll show you in every. single. fucking. picture🤢" -You look like you smell like gym socks and cow hooves. -r/photoshoprequest can help you have an ass. -I can smell the onions and patchouli through the screen -Notice that the only heavily worn part of her floor is the area in front of the mirror  -She got destroyed so badly the profile was deleted lol. -I think you roasted yourself posting so many stupid pics -Your armpit hair could have dreads. I can literally smell you through my phone. I bet your vag looks like a baby wooly mammoth but smells like a shrimp boat. -"*perfectly waxed eyebrows, caked in makeup, wears scandalous clothing* “I keep my armpits hairy to fight for women’s body standards”" -Pic #14 your belly button looks like a cats butthole… just a simple observation -Are you a groupie for the Greenpeace and/or PETA board of directors? -Your head is shaped like an Otterbox for an ottoman. You’re flat enough to use a church sock as a maxi dress. -Looks like you got buckwheat in a headlock. -Looking at you turned my brother gay. -"You must be old school, nowadays people with body dismorphy transition, not starve." -Was that armpit hair transplant from your beard? -"I bet you’re a barista at a quirky cafe that serves their coffee in those mason jars and has shitty art work for sale on the wall, and you think it makes you super unique and not like other girls." -26 and female. A lie on all accounts. -"Nah, i'mma sit this one out and enjoy a beer by the bushes." -After scrolling it appears you have the personality of a bland parking lot handjob. -You look like someone who wants ruff sex but cries when someone raises their voice at you. -She’s the cock fluffer for her friends dates lol -Might be difficult to roast you when you're offended by literally every fucking thing ever. -You seem like the type who shampoos their armpit hair and wonders why nobody else does. -I've never seen a tattooed stick insect. -"Thank god you grew out the microbangs. - -When are you going to grow out the microtits?" -"If you painted your nose red, You could make a decent clown cosplay." -"Wooden, boys legs,You a female pinoccio" -"You have no fashion sense! A sports button-up, with green running shorts, and then boots? Wtf did you get dressed in the dark while stoned??" -I didn't know they made training corsets. -Spend some more time eating more of those Oreos and less in front of the mirror. Gain a pound. You’d slip through a crack in the sidewalk. -Enough photos for the Tim Burton stop motion we didn’t ask for. -Don’t shave your pits to be edgy and confident but seeking Reddit approval due to low self esteem. I bet you are a doozy -Eye..................................brows -That fairy on your arm looks absolutely disgusted with your armpit hair! -You're the kind of girl that would do amazing on only fans. Great for the moment but forgettable when everyone is done with you. -Alakazam! Alakazoo! No one wants to fuck you -"You just look like you smell bad. Not really a roast, just an observation" -"I can hear your cunty, useless opinions already" -Sixteen of those photos and none of them look attractive. -I've never seen such a solid 6 in my life. She is literally the bare minimum. -"You offend all five of my senses, please go away" -When trying to look ugly goes right. -# Be gentle on your lil soul? I thought hoes aint got no soul. -"You're a 9 on Reddit but a 6 on TikTok, and unfortunately you're only monetizing one of those bad boys. Also gain a little weight so your hands don't look like claws, Raggedy Anorexic." -"With armpits like that, wiping your asshole must be like cleaning peanut butter out of shag carpet." -Gtfo be gentle…this isn’t your first trip to pound town -I like the way you taped your dick out of site. -At least your soul matches your chest. -We’re not buying your OF -Literally the only time she's ever said 'be gentle with me'. -"Small soul, large b hole....get it? Because you are a flat chested gay man" -"When you say ""I'm board"" it's an introduction" -"With that big ass head and little hips, you look like a lollipop." -You look like you’re about to tank some Bud Light stock -"u/ deleted - -Lmaooo" -"Oh, look, a hairy surfboard." -"One does not post on r/roastme and ask to be slowcooked - -This isn't r/crockpotme" -"if it wasn’t the greasy hair in every photo, shiny forehead, or hairy armpits, we get it you’re unapproachable and smell bad dude." -You got the body of a ventriloquist dummy. -Thought corsets are supposed to make your chest look bigger. Not as flat as a 13 year old boy -Puts a selfie on r/roastme and asks us to be gentle. wtf do you think this is? You’re basic asf. Literally just like every other girl out there who thinks she’s the main character when she’s just a carbon copy of all the lame basic girls with no personality -Not another I'm a woman. I want to be natural. That why your single. She has 5 cats and she ate cat food befote -Your tits won’t grow until you shave those pits. -"It took so long to cut through that jungle between her legs, that she took one look at those arm pubes and said ""Fuck it!""" -You could weave a cosy sweater out of your arm pit bush. -"you’ve never needed an ironing board in your life huh, flat surface, anti wrinkle ass body and shave those armpits for the love of ironing boards" -This is what happens when Dora spends too much time with boots -"Should wear a burka only showing your eyes, we don’t need to see the rest 😱🧕" -I got your nose game would take both of my hands -You let guys who make minimum wage hit it raw -"16 pics, and you didn't think to post one single flattering one?" -Gentle with a roast? Does that even make sense? -"Why do they try so hard to get you to look at their itty bitties bruh? Like we get it, if you didn’t do that, we’d have to check your Adam’s Apple to make sure there wasn’t one there. - -At least she posted on here and not r/amIUglybrutallyhonest" -"So I’ll be gentle with your little soul, but i can be savage with your giant nose right? Cause you have a shnozz so big and bulbous it looks like god quit half ways through making a bullfrog, said fuck it and stuck that thing on a human head." -Your armpits are blacker than the Oreo you're holding. -These 16 photos scream “I’m a feminist” but the one that just shows you are a lazy female is the one with Chewbacca armpit hair. We can’t be gentle with your “lil soul” because you don’t have one. -"Your ‘lil soul’ looks as crumpled and worn out as that piece of paper, and I’m guessing it’s seen just as many hands." -Why you got twin orangutans hugging you in all these pics? -"From the producers and director of Sharknado, now in theaters, Tarantulavag." -Your soap bar must be filled with hair. Assuming you even use soap. -Let’s start with why you decided a 12 year old boys pubes belong under you arms -"Profile deleted, sounds like she got roasted" -I think i’ve seen taller toothpicks -Built like a 10 year old boy with mad armpit hair. -Eh whats the point…she deleted -Why are you Gae -Manbrows. -What’s the point of hiding squirrels in your armpits ? -I feel so sorry for that dog. Can you imagine how many self empowerment talks that dog has had to overhear all while smelling your wretched armpits. -"Judging by your eyebrows and pits, I bet your bush looks like a forest." -What a loser . -Target practice. -Jesus Christ I don’t think a Lebanese Yeti could grow that much fur on their pits 🤮 -"Nice armpit hair. Do you even lift bro? But seriously, why so many pictures? This isn’t OnlyFans. Your face just screams high-maintenance, narcissism and entitlement. You’ll be single forever with that armpit hair. No self-respecting guy wants to date a woman with more armpit hair than he he’ll ever grow." -"Oh my god.. your armpit hair are longer than mine, and i am a dude lol" -The pre-op transition seems to be going well. -Can i iron my shirts on your chest? -"Gentle? Fuck you. I don’t need to see your 16pics of OF subscription material. If I wanted to JO to clown pics, I’ll google Ringling Bros." -"You look like the kinda girl that plays ""eanie-meanie-minie-mo"" at the gas pump with the 4 different types of gas." -Did the mirror crack in the second to last pic when it saw how flat your ass was? -Real shit at first i was going to say drop that OF but by the time i had finished scrolling i hated myself for ever thinking that -"You look like you're a captive mistress for a Colombian drug lord, but get back at him by using his credit card to shop at Target 😒" -You were semi ok until I saw your armpit 😭😩 now you look stank -You’re pretty hairy for a Femboy. -My girl 26 going on 40 😂 -Tinker smell -Angela Anaconda’s all growed up -She looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock. -What deodorant/pomade do you use? -you look like your canon event was a broken fingernail -How was your run across the border? Good berry season? -The moustache under your armpit is the reason you get friendzoned by the guys you try and bang. -Lil soul....so that's what they're calling Anal now...... -It’s the Willy Wonka Umpa Lumpa Changa -You look like a typical tik toker -"I can see you've decided not to shave your armpits as a sexual assault deterrent. Trust me, it's not needed." -You're a stupid f*** -Diarrheana Grande -She already deleted her acct -Barf. -Double stuffed - and I’m not talking about the Oreo. -Only 16 pics? -Looks like you have Gary Coleman in a headlock. -16 fucking pics - Why is the uterus on your arm so long? -OP deleted the post 😭 -"Built like plank from Ed, Ed, and Eddy" -You are just some thing no dude could never truly get hard to without imagining that it’s somebody else -Alright we get it. You used to be a man -She gotta be a lesbian…ain’t no fucking way a nigga gon fuck a bitch with hairy armpits -*profile deleted* lmfao -Your gentle soul is tired of being ran through. -Pictures you can smell -Your transition is going okay. -armpit hair has more style than the mop on her head. -The bony physique of Sarah Connor. The armpit hair of Dan Connor. -Your armpits scare me... -Ever heard of a razor / waxing? For the love of all humanity use some!😵‍💫 -"Dang that’s impressive arm pit hair, or is a Guinea pig coming out of your shirt?" -I can smell your armpits from here. -I can smell your pits from here. 🤮 -"This is the kind of girl you’d expect to get vd from who you met in philosophy 101. - -Be wary of the racially ambiguous 20 yo with hairy pits." -"Things that aren't working for you. -Eyebrows -Fringe -Fashion sense -Razor -This post" -"If you get any skinnier, you'll become a cautionary tale for anorexia." -Tell me you don’t have a dad without telling me….. -You look like the beginning of a bad porn movie -"""Be gentle with Lil soul"" the. Post 16 pics and none are her dick pic" -I'd rather eat the oreo. -What’s sad is that she’s at her zenith. Three hours ago. -"You look like you accidentally walked out of a 90s sitcom wardrobe department and just rolled with it. That outfit is giving me strong „I quit halfway through getting dressed” vibes, but hey, at least you’re ready for either a basketball game or a spontaneous hike!" -"Suddenly a voice in my head appears... ""Poor soul..has even more personalities then your Disorder.""" -Posts like this are annoying. -i couldn’t get past how absolutely disgusting those armpits look to be able to even think of a roast for gods sake. -"Seem like the type to jerk off your boyfriend, but demand he cum in a towel and give you ample warning." -If herpes were a human. -I'm no expert on women's fashion but those outfits are dogshit -deleted 😉😐 -Why so many pictures? What the fuck is this? Facebook? -Wheres her OF link? -I’m fucking sad for our future -How’s your transition from boy to a girl? -if you were a sentence it would be ”Im..Im sensitive 👉👈” -"Honestly, really pretty. Short as well which is nice. -But the armpit hair cancels all out that out. -You’re a 4" -Bet she showers once a week like it’s cool to be all natural. Girl I can smell you through my phone -comment -You have the face of unflavored yogurt.  -I’ve forgotten what you look like and I’m looking at you. -It's nice to know you at least got laid twice despite everything. -Do your kids look like you or are they cute? -Why do you have the receding hairline of a 55 year-old accountant? -Both of your kids came from doing it doggy style so the dads wouldn’t have to look at your face -You look like an Asian woman that used “the white filter”. -Thousand yard stare and granny underwear -It's like someone cut a face into uncooked bread dough. -You have the soul of a blow up doll -"Mom of: 2 -Loved by: 0" -A velvet Jesus painting would lose a staring competition with you. -These pics are either from a female alopecia awareness ad or the after pics of a botched male to female transition. -The face of utter resignation  -"I’m always surprised when I check the profiles of women who post here, and there’s not porn posted. - -I mean, in this case, I’m *thankful,* but still." -That’s not a forehead that’s an 8 head at least. -Jeeze these realistic latex masks are somehow getting worse. This barely even looks like a real person -What’s it like to have never peaked -"Lemme guess, you poked holes in both condoms to have the two kids" -Are you sure we should be roasting this hostage demand? -No doubt in my mind. Dodge Grand Caravan -Can you blink at all with your ponytail being THAT tight? -I imagine the two kids share a dad because for the life of me I can’t imagine more than one guy breed you -MINLF -You look like a fucking Skyrim character. -"If you were a spice, you'd be flour" -Could rent your forehead out to a drive in theater to project the movie on -If Michelangelo made his sculptures from cream cheese -Resting Putin Face -Human equivalent of a plain bagel -These NPCs are getting freakishly realistic. -She looks like she would have more fun taking a solid shit than having married sex lol -The Republicans are gonna flip shit when they see JD Vance in drag. -your hairline is thinner then your list of options this late in the game -A Mormon android -"No, you cannot speak with the manager. We don't do returns on used diapers!" -The hate child of cris cyborg and burst can of biscuits -All she needs is a cig and a double wide and she’s a South Park character -If unenthusiastic handjob had a face -Holy fuck you kept someone hard long enough to blow? Hmmm...rohypnol and viagra. Watch your drinks boys there is a swamp donkey on the prowl. -The moon landing was done on your forehead -"I'd roast you, but then you'd be a mom of 3" -how much is the rent for that forehead -"You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you're definitely a tool." -if white paint were a person -"Damn, that's a $20.00 Uber ride from your eyebrows to your hairline." -One day those two kids of differing races will understand the reason why they never got a stepfather -Some how I feel the paper bag on head will give up too -"34 going on 51 - -2 kids? Looking at your face and body, I would've guessed at least 5." -Definitely kidnapped children. No shot someone would pole you. -Your eyes look both soulless and attempting to extract the soul of whomever meets your gaze -With Each swipe it gets worse -It’s impressive how few wrinkles you have on your fivehead. -I support your transition. I hope wife support you as well -Why is there a chopping board on your forehead -are we sure you aren't a man? -You have a great face for radio. -The only thing thinner than your hair is the number of people willing to have sex with you. -"I dont know how many subreddits there are, but pretty sure we could list them all on that forehead." -I didn't know it was possible to wear a negative amount of makeup. -You look like someone who would drown their kids at the request of her World of Warcraft boyfriend. -You look like you got a face mask on. -Goodnight Moon! 🌝 -"My man, chill out" -Can’t tell if that first image is a cry for help or you’re just enjoying a private poop and a moment with us on the webs… -"Why are you posting here? If you have time to lean, you have time to clean. The laundry isn't going to do itself." -"You mean dad of 2, right????" -You have that 1000 yard stare that war veterans have. Must be rough kids. -"You look like you headbutt coconuts to open them, & look confused when people look at you for it" -You have such a beautiful smile!! -"Well, you are what you eat, right? This looks like eating a boiled potato with mayonnaise in a dark cave. Why mayonnaise, btw?" -"Finally, a woman posting who definitely doesn't have an OF!" -British cuisine if it had a face -"You're pretty cute for someone with a shrimp allergy. (*Wince* you're gorgeous, mama)" -"Well you only look slightly inbred, so that's something" -Have you seen this woman in your dreams? -Mom of two lil mustache hairs pokin’ out!!! :D -"You are absolutely beautiful young woman and problem more beautiful when you SMILE, ❤️ GOD BLESS" -I love the ones that are so insecure that they have to respond to every roast post. -Looks like someone started a new character in a video game and left the appearance on default. -"Mom of 2, head of five" -"I get it. We’re supposed to roast people in this sub, but I look at her photo and think “yeah, she’s pretty cool.”" -"Please, please, please, go to a comedy club, sit in the first row, and hold that expression through each comedian's act." -I can’t ever roast a mom. You’re doing great. Give bangs a shot! -What's your WWE stange name? Big Jimmy Corndog. -I'm just here for the comments. I love a well-roasted potato. -I’d bang him! -"Well, now I know where all my testosterone went." -"I want to roast you but I think you could kick my ass. - - -I can't help but wish you the best." -Krillin from DBZ -I think you’re quite beautiful. -Human bag of milk -You didn’t need to add that you’re a mother. I can see the pain in your eyes. -Does she look like vladimir putin or is it just me -Lil make up and your a 4 -"34 years old mom of two she said she needs a good laugh? - -Asked to be roasted. - -Can I just please return those kids? Their family is very worried about them. - -I mean I get the realism factor for your Reddit post but this is ridiculous." -*Dinner or there is nothing* -The actual momma of all them momma jokes. 😑 -Where’s your soul -Sketch artist said no thanks. -Someone fucked you twice? That’s a lot of whiskey -I can't read backwards lady take a regular picture not a reversed one. -Is their father still chained up in the basement? -U look like if mannequin & robot had a baby the poker resting bi**h face is crazy -You kinda look like Putin -When your foreheads in portrait mode -"Don't pay attention to the haters, you are a beautiful man." -Stop chewing on your lips -Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it! 😁😁😁 -"you know how sometimes the billboard has a number and the words ""your ad here""? - -might be a good income stream for you" -There’s no shame in being artificially inseminated out of necessity. -You look like a campaign poster for neglected wildebeest -That shit is unsettling. Don’t even need a mask for Halloween. -Third pic you look like the dad of two -"You look like someone drew a face from memory, but they didn’t quite know what a human face looked like and they kind of winged it" -"Not just a mom of two, but a dad of 2 as well." -Well the good news is you don't look as bad as your artwork. -Looks like a fart in milk. -"Mom of two. This is the look of ""I almost murdered my kids today..... again.""" -I know every 34 year old has but you actually like you’ve taken 14 thousand shits -"""Do your thing, Reddit!"" - -We're sorry, but Reddit is down for the foreseeable future and as such your post will be ignored. Please do not try posting again in the future as Reddit will still be down in spite of obviously not being down with whatever you're throwing. Thank you. - -(Also, hope the kids are doing great in spite of having to scam other high schoolers out of that seran wrapped pizza at lunch because you were too busy asking for a hate fuck from Reddit instead of getting up ten minutes early to make a lazy sandwich 😅) - -(Also also, if the OP asks me to I will absolutely delete this isht as I was okay with the first part of my post but I'm wondering if the rest went too far 👇🙃 ME!)" -And Here comes our favourite villain that turns into good..... M M M MEGAMIND!!!! -What is that like an 18 head? Is your hair running away from your face? -"Time to shave your 5 o clock shadow sir. If you’re gonna be transgender, please be transgender fully." -You look like you haven’t smiled since you had babies. Got that I could be pretty good with makeup but I chose to look plain and yell for the next 18 years -"My child and I were scrolling through reddit and your photo popped up on my feed and they said, ""Damn! She got a big head!"" - -And then i saw what subreddit this was and had to post 😆" -You look like you aged like milk. -Very thoughtful to have your mug shots taken in advance -A symetical face never looked so wrong. -That hairline running away faster than her baby daddies -You look like Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II -Fucking hell mate some bloke is wild for putting it in you twice 😎 -everything on your face seems to be slowly drifting apart in disappointment -Vladimira Putin -When you leave the potato out for too long and it starts growing hairs -That thinning hair is a tell tell sign of a mother who is also doing the father's role too... bravo -You are probably by far the most basic and bland-looking person I’ve ever seen -If unflavoured chicken had a face -You look like the reason 20yrolds think 30 is old. -you look ai generated -You look how sparkling water tastes -You look the type to turn smiles upside down -Her eyes are both making eye contact and no eye contact at the same time -She looks like if a balloon was a person. -You look like you get a lot of lights off sex -Mother I'd like to feed -If a mayo ham sandwich was a person... -Did you have the kids before or after the sex change? -Face like liminal space -You sure you ain't a dad of 2? -You look like you always have the good popsicles. -"I can only assume you've been laid twice (kids as proof) because no one would want to do that for fun surely? - -I just hope that whomever it was used paper bags instead of plastic in a bid to be environmentally friendly." -I'll let the pics do the roasting -"You look like you keep long lists and add infractions to them daily. - -You haven’t served fruit cup to anyone for years." -Looks like you could keep your crotch goblins entertained by projecting a Minions movie on that drive-in theater screen you call a forehead. -So are we just ignoring the 1000 blackhead and herpes lips? -You need more than a good laugh... -"I legitimately thought your post was to the ""help me with makeup"" or ""skincare advice"" I truly did, lol. Not roasting you at all." -“On todays episode of crazy possessive girlfriend murders boyfriend we have” -Fair play you look like me once i get out of bed lol. -if you want a good laugh go look at your hairline -You're one of those women who look completely ordinary without makeup but probably look like a different person with makeup. -Pics say you've been a mom of 2 toddlers for 34 years. -How much was the sperm? -"*any roast* - -how DARE you" -Ignore the haters you have clearly seen some shit -You look like a cat cosplaying a human. -You are the daughter of the lead singer of cannibal corpse -Bring back paper bag masks -Someone had sex with you twice…..wonder what that thing looks like -You identify as a woman? -No one will accuse you of trying too hard.  -The atrocious bathroom tiles behind you are easier on the eyes. -I can't believe someone had sex with you. TWICE. -"First things first, darling – motherhood is a full-time job, but that doesn't mean you have to look like you've been through the spin cycle one too many times. You deserve to feel fabulous, even if you're juggling kids and chaos. - -Now, let's address the elephant in the room – or should I say the laundry hamper? That outfit looks like it’s been through a war and lost. I get it, comfort is key, but there’s a difference between comfy chic and a fashion disaster. Let’s find you something that’s both practical and polished. A cute pair of jeans, a stylish top, and a bit of accessorizing can go a long way. - -And honey, about that forehead – or should I say fivehead? Embrace it, don't hide it! A well-chosen hairstyle can work wonders. Maybe some soft bangs or a side part to frame your face beautifully. And remember, confidence is the best accessory – wear it like a crown. - -You’ve got the beauty and the brains, now let’s get that style in check. You’re a supermom, so let’s show the world that you can be fabulous while doing it all. Now go out there and rock that runway of life, darling!" -Giving Kristen Stewart a run for her money. -I think she is cute -Thats the look of I have given up. -5 head and receding hair line -"So bland, I wonder why anyone here is wasting their time to comment?" - Who impregnated this dude twice? -Is your kid named Honey Boo Boo by chance? -An amalgamation of the girls who were cute in high school -You look like the unseasoned chicken black people make fun of us white people for cooking. -"Affordable housing crisis solved, there’s enough room on your forehead to develop a new neighborhood." -Do you drive a Subaru? -"Your face perfectly describes the expression “moon calf”. Also, it looks like you have a mustache, though I can’t find any hairs when I zoom in. Unfortunate complexion?" -Tell us you have 46 chromosomes without telling us you have 46 chromosomes -You look more like a man with your hair down. Not sure how that works but there it is. -You‘ve got an even worse hairline than me -34 or 44? -none of these jokes will go over your forehead. i mean head  -Prime advertising space on the forehead. -"I’ve got a new projector…, if I could only use your forehead" -"If jack nicholsons character in the shining was female id be -scared if you moved in next door" -seems like your 2 done sucked the life outta you with them lifeless eyes -Ms Winnie the pooh -You deadass built like a sim and have the kids to match  -Mom you need to take some time for yourself. You’re a beautiful woman. So go to it!💙 -I bet you can see into the future with a forehead like that. -A forehead I can play chess on -That bathroom is hideous -I could eat my dinner off your forehead. -I think your cute actually -What sperm bank did you buy your donation from? Because there's no way anyone had sex with you. - Vladimir Putin and Mickey Rourke had a baby... -You look like you’re about to beat the shit out of an old man with a golf club. -“Mom of two” = no personality -she birthed them in the mothership -"Post says mom, hairline says dad" -You look like the default female template in character creation. -"If ""bland"" was a human." -You look like an NPC from Oblivion -That face gives prenut clarity -She pays men to have sex with her. -The emptiness in your eyes makes me hope child protective services has been notified. -Easy to draw -Somehow your face looks like a poorly drawn portrait. -"Are you 34? You look like a solid 45 who went through several botox injections so she doesn't have any expression anymore. - -Was your husband always into old women?" -Bitch dreams in imax -"Theirs a new drug called ozempic ,you need it , also need to make sure you give your 2 kids food and not just keep it to yourself" -"Sorry, I need to advertise something... - -Her: use my small forehead - -Me: sure..." -If unseasoned food had a face... -It took 10 up swipes to get past the forehead so I could see the face. -"The gender transitions getting better by the year, you are very handsome💪" -Why do this. You know you’re gonna cry. -If 2% milk was a facial expression -The face only a mother could love -If cottage cheese had a face -Only here for OP's responses 😂😂 -Did you swallow a bee!? -Dear god… how many paper bags does it take to make you attractive? -Why are ppl referring to dairy products so much ? -No smile means bad teeth -Not a roast... cause I'm having a good day. But esthetician here.. have you thought about getting your brows done? Would open up your face. You have a great smile. And I think you're lovely and I hope you're having a great day. -You look like you’ve just seen your reflection and realized you’re 34 and still taking selfies in the bathroom. -Male npc with female hair -A lot of guys say women should smile more but I don't think it will help in your case. -Who the hell did that twice -First person rejected by Only Fans and Walmart on the same day -You like like the trump shooter -"Did your milk expire too, or just your sleep schedule?" -Audition for next hunger games series. -34 year old mom of 2 with the 1000-yard stare of a hospice patient who prays for a dirt nap. -I’ve seen mannequins with more life in their eyes -You look like the finished product of watching paint dry -"You have the face of an emoji when my only response is ""meh""" -Looks like a single mom. -Getting some albino uruk-hai vibes  -Can't roaster her any more than God and piss poor genetics already did. -You look like a a person version of a stale potato chip -You really need that fucking laugh -"“Hey ChatGPT, create 5 pictures of a woman that doesn’t GAF!”" -You look like the shitty love child of Patrick Swayze and Gypsy Rose Blanchard -The second picture looks like a brick on drugs -When you order Katniss Everdeen from Wish. -"What type of self righteous man would climb ontop of this skin walker looking , 200 yard stare having, big foreheaded ass?" -A face like a frying pan. -Favorite meal is Mac and cheese with tuna mixed in. -You remind me of the girl who would hiss at other kids in the hallway -"Like ai tried to draw ""bland white woman""" -"I love your sense of humor, OP!! 🤣 your comments are hilarious 😂" -we know you are nordic -"Id tap that. - -I do not have standards." -You look like you don't blink -You look like you purposefully sting yourself in the face with bees everyday to gain attention from your coworkers -"The last two photos were proof of life from your kidnappers. - -No one wanted to pay the 5 dollars." -"You look like that one character from Game of Thrones. You know, Castle Brick." -You look like you changed your mind mid transition. -That forehead is longer then the amount of time it took for my dad to come back with the milk (it's been 7 years dad come home please) -"No disrespect meant, but I bet the process of your husband popping seeds into you was work, not pleasure." -You look like one of your kid just woke up 😅 -your face like 'You pooped on your bed'! -Actually kinda cute 😍 -If white noise had a face -"You dont look THAT damaged for 34, id still prolly hit it I have a thing for green eyes." -You look great zoomed out -You're the default created character in a video game -You look like the girl people marry when they realize they’ll never get the person they dreamed of. -Robocop with his helmet off. -Blander than a white woman’s chicken breast -"I know this is a roast but holy cow you got pretty eyes!!!! - -But you look like that science little girl who rages over climate change" -That right eye looks half a second short of crossing -"“What do you need, stranger?” In the flesh…" -You look like you speak Simlish -Your face reminds me of whipped cream if it was neither whipped nor creamy. -If room temperature was a person -It looks like you just finished eating glue. -I now know what to picture if I ever want an erection to go away. -Basic bitch energy. The face of erectile disfunction. -Hello. Fellow. Humans. Ignore. The. Lizard. Greetings. -Your nose is huge -"When I cover the right side of your face you're a solid 2 but when I cover the left side of your face you're lucky to be a 1. - -One of life's mysteries" -"What, Facebook minion memes not good enough, so you come to Reddit?" -It’s the shark-like thousand yard stare for me -"Forehead, more forehead, forehead….. eyebrows!!!! Thanks Google Maps!" -You make that sheet of paper look like it’s got it going on!!!! -There’s nothing wrong with you that some Botox and a lie about a thyroid problem can’t cover up. -You look like the kind of wife that makes her man a sandwich out of just 2 pieces of white bread. -You have the face of a woman who dares her man to cum first. -"#🚨Breaking News🚨 -#Woman somehow manages to sneak full sized watermelon through TSA!" -You look lovely In a cave women sort of way -comment -Mii lookin ass -your bedroom looks like a Norwegian jail cell -What do you use to wax your head? I wish my car shined like that. -So you went from a douche to a bald twink. I guess that's progress. -"You look like the type of guy that puts a fleshlight in the microwave to make it more ""realistic"".." -"If you haven’t updated your Grinder photo, are dudes disappointed, or are some into Communist Elf bottoms?" -Fuck off Edward Snowden. Shaving your head will not help -I swear I’ve seen that third pic before so I just pulled my foreskin back and I was right! -That teddy bear in the background was given to you by your prison daddy -You're like that Benjamin Button guy but your turning into a baby bird -Wow jan 6 really took a toll on you huh? -Wtf *happened* to you!? -Bear wearing a bra…hmmm someone has watched 5 nights at Freddy’s -You went out of your way to look like a Soyjak? -I’m surprised they allowed to keep your teddy bear in prison. -You look like the “Te amo 💨” guy from 90 Day Fiancé. -"You look like a dick pic feels - -Edit: also, the Squidward that isn't a chad" - This man aged a decade in 3 years -Now I know what it would look like if Harry Potter lost his hair and his magical powers. -From bad to worse to worst. -Don't lie. You still have your gimp suit. -The penis pump isn't meant for your head -#fuckcancer -Did you remember to register and stay away from school/parks this year? -The only thing that Teddy bear is stuffed with is body parts. -Did you get your head ceramic coated? -I would really like to meet you. And yes you can bring your boyfriend if that's who it is. We could have a great time together -"You're only utilizing the top portion of your (?)progressive lenses. Your eye level is basically forcing each eye balls to read the prescription through the top portion of the frame - -​ - -/burn" -Turtle wax -Did your head get wider? Megamind looking headass. Bro shapped like a lightbulb -you look like mr cleans cousin who still dates highschool girls 10 yrs after graduating -"Two steps from Jihad. - -Step 1: Stand up. - -Step 2: Put tea towel on head. - -Congratulations" - Betting you stuff that bear every night -You’re trending toward Silly Putty -"Your face makes damp panties dry and stiff cocks go limp. Try all you want, you’ll never be able to impregnate that Teddy Bear. - -You are alone….forever." -Jeez you were good looking back in the day. Should really consider getting some plugs. You were HOT!!! You do have a nice skull though! -I always wondered what happened to Roger from American Dad. -TED got you covered... -Before & after Reddit hahaha -You fuckin that bear ain't ya -A Goof ball turned cue ball -You look like Breaking Sad -The whole “before and after” thing is for people who’ve made progress. -If Justin Timberlake was Justin Twigpond -How many kids do you have in your basement? -Blippi and squidward had a baby? -Why would anyone aspire to look like a big toe? -You look like someone who fucks Amish women with blankets over their face so they can keep the numbers up on their farms. -where does the wall end and your head start? -I'm guessing the position isn't forward -You aged 20 years in 3 years. Yikes. -What do you mean you don't have anything? A bald head and ugly face are something -That teddy bear has seen some really weird shit -"No roast, but you look like the actor from Split." -"You’ve morphed into an evil Supervillain. What’s your back story, bro?" -Rusty venture at 50 and still a virgin !!!!!! -You look like that guy from myth busters if he started doing those “alpha male” pod casts! -Life has roasted this man more than any redditor could ever -The only one interested in you is that teddy bear behind you. -You look like a bald bird. I see you and I just picture the birds yelling “mine” from Fishing Nemo -I think you look much more than before ❤️ -You looked so happy in the before photo. -You look like a big-toe someone drew a face on and put clothes on and then electrified to give you life. -Deformed Vsauce -What’s it like since you moved to Chernobyl? -Did you have to pluck out a single hair for every good roast 3 years ago? -You look like Uncle Stan from Gravity Falls. -The budget “car wizard” where this muppet is more interested in wiping your dipstick than looking at your car -Looks like you did lose something... Your hair -You look like a version of Lex Luthor that spent all his money transitioning from a woman to a man and is upset the hormone injections left you bald -Your brain looks like it shrunk -It's the Dean from community -"100% megamind here can predict the future. - -Unfortunately it's a future we could have all predicted for him, dying alone in a basement" -You were hot. What happened to your hair?? -The pattern here is that after another year you'll be as smooth as saitama -You should grow your hair out again. -Glowdown -You look like a child molester from Michigan -"Bro, just stop fighting. Cancer is the only thing that wants to fuck you." -Megamind on chemo is a great look on you. Hard to roast what radiation already has. -"You look like Mega Mind's juggalo brother, FaygoMind" -In 3 more years will the eyebrows and facial hair be gone too? It looks like your hair is growing in reverse -"You didn't age like fine wine, you aged like leftovers sitting in the back of my fridge for 6 months." -loosing more and more all kinds of hair and will to live. -You were quite good looking before -should i bc u dont want to hear -8====D -You are actually lucky cause you have an easy Halloween costume. Just put three dots in a triangle on your head like a bowling ball -Your skull looks like that of squidward -If Gru from Minions was a real person..... -"How does your head keep getting bigger, but you keep getting dumber?" -"Lost his hair, and his will to live" -"You look like a less successful Moby, the one who got stuck being a 3rd grade science teachers substitute." -*Vsauce themes plays* -Same pic? -I guess dark alleys aren’t a thing with that disco ball up there. -It looks like you still have your cancer... -You look like Adrian Edmondson from the Young Ones. -Biden voter vs Trump voter -You look like your hair was your only source of joy and you haven't smiled since. -Hey brain.. where’s pinky? -Moral of the story try to keep your hair… -Don’t have ANYTHING? Been tested for cancer lately? -Lex Luther before and after -"Look Louie younger, less fashionable, and even balder version of Marty’s Music on YouTube" -"Think Mark! What will you have after five hundred years? Oh wait, we know the answer, still nothing." -"Dude, that's awesome. - -How long have you been in remission?" -Biggest glow down of all time -At least you look less like a cancer patient now. Marginally but 🤷🏼‍♂️ -Did you get cancer? -I guess Garden Gnome was the only available job after Santa's Workshop lay off. -I guess Garden Gnome was the only available job after Santa's Workshop lay off. -I'm pressing charges on behalf of the bear -Moby had a gay son. -"Not sure how you pull it off, but you get less interesting every time you post." -"It was not 3 years ago, it was like a month ago tops, and you created a burner acct just for this? What’s the scam here" -Was your hair roasted off last time? -"If Caillou grew up and survived cancer. Still, fuck you Caillou" -Npc -Damn. Life rode you hard and put you up wet didn’t it? -Cue ball -"Damn who knew the line between ""hero"" and ""supervillain"" was a hairline." -So a brighter head does not necessarily mean a brighter future.. -Giving nickel blowjobs was hard on this motherfucker! Damn! -"Omg, please put on a yellow shirt and blue overalls, please?" -Bro went from Jesse Pinkman to Walter White -So you got rid of the windowless van but you kept a reminder and sleep with it on your bed. Choices. -To the bear on the bed; blink twice if he’s fucking you softly with tears of loneliness every night?!  -You manage to look like an ugly Mii character 3 times ! -You manage to look like a ugly Mii character 3 times ! -#3yearstosphere -Those glasses aren't doing you any justice -How's the training going Mr no punch man -You look like a boiled owl -Are you in prison? -Holy fuck you went downhill -"Looks like your skull grew a bunch, so that’s something. You should get an IQ test. I’ll bet it went way up." -Glow down -Glow down -"OK so your bald so i'm gonna be nice but like, bro i closed the tab and i can still see 3/4 of your big ass forehead. He's really tryna be that guy, like bro go back being a middle school janitor cause that's the vibes your given, you look like you were born from your mom having an affair with a handicap parking space behind your nearest home depot. Your grandpa is being held hostage by a caterpillar the ransom is for you to cover up your big ass squidward looking ah nose. Bro ill bet you anything that teddy bear in the back is your mental therapist and your goofy looking star wars plain white t-shirt is your best friend. So is that enough roasting please tell me" -"You look like an AI prompt of ""Doctor Evil but mediocre""" -"You know how I know your single and depressed? - -You are bald in your mid thirties and the bed is still on the floor. You've worn your star wars shirt enough the logo is faded. The teddy is either a sex doll in disguise or your practice doll for removing bras." -Didn't think I'd ever see anyone that went from being an okay looking dude to halfway TJ (i.e. TheAmazingAtheist.) Stop whatever you are doing before you end up full TJ; never go full TJ. -"You look like an AI prompt of ""Doctor Evil but mediocre""" -Went from 25 to 68 -You look like you found Islam and Whataburger -Discount Vsause -Why is that bear wearing a red bra? You bear fucker! -At least you live on the surface and not underground like most people. -Things the best bed you could afford after working for Linus Tech Tips all these years? -"No mames, 3 years? Fuck.." -White swimmer's cap -Damn what the hell happened bro? Did you go through hard times or did age just get the best of you? -Buddy looks like Mr cleans inbread cousin -You look like Eminem if his rapping career never took off. -You better get Brock Samson to go round up Hank and Dean before The Monarch gets a hold of them. -"Mo’ forehead, mo’ problems" -Seems like betterhelp did you dirty and took all your money -Hows your transition to Dr Evil going? -This new megamind poster is trash -"Don't worry, you were just as ugly in the before picture." -"3 years? - - -Mate sorry to autocorrect but you forgot to add the 0 to the end of that 3." -You look like a pansexual imp who should be running (quite haphazardly) a budget community college. -CALLIOU looking bitch -Your bed/living space is depressingly underwhelming. Okay you’re bald but is that why you gave up on yourself? -Even your hair left you! -"Your before and after pic shows me that you had the appearance of a full head of hair at one point, but clearly it was an optical illusion and you'd just painted lines on that ginormous dome of yours. - -There is no other explanation for why your head is as wide with hair as it is without." -It looks like you transitioned to an AIDS infested child molester -You look like a fat version of Moby and I bet you fuck that teddy bear every night. -I see chemotherapy treated you well -You look like you took the last roasting to heart. -This looks like a reversed chemo progression album -Wassup mr.clean -" Hey bro you look healthy good for you. -… I dunno, chromedome? Try to get into a German porn when u fuck pussy with your head lol I dunno good job bro" -"I don’t think a roast is what you need, you look very depressed." -Did you shave your head just so it would be easier for people to make fun of you? It's def not the look for you. -Pretty sure the nose comes off with the glasses. -"Mr.clean, mr.clean, mr.clean looking ahh" -Congrats on surviving whatever horrible disease you had -Lets not make a habit out of this. WE have better things to do -Have your hopes in life receded as much as your hairline? -If I was a human squidward I would also want a big teddy bear to cuddle with especially if my walls are white and bare -Temu Walter White -Holy fuck that's a rough 3 years -Definition of a glow down -Groucho glasses -You look like you're not allowed 50 feet of a playground -"It’s getting bigger, sir." -Dude has a lot on his mind. -"Used to look like Frodo, now you look like Sméagol and gimmick bastard child" -"You look like you make YouTube guitar tutorials in a darkened bedroom, until your mom barges in and tells you to knock it off." -You've somehow aged 10 years in 3. Sorry about the cancer and major depression. -Is that even the same dude? Damn. -I feel sorry for that Teddy Bear. It probably wishes it could be lost like the one in Toy Story 3. -I shit turds that are better looking -It’s giving megamid. -How did you manage to get that more fucked up in just three additional years. Some people live for 90 years and never manage to do this. -"You still look just as freakish, but now you appear to be breaking into children's bedrooms too." -"“I’m still here,” but we wish you weren’t." -You look like a small town youth pastor that speaks out against moral sins and then ends up on local news for loving your flock a bit too much. -Bro looks a friendly version of Sam the Eagle -"Ugly, uglier, ugliest" -Fat Moby -You look like a 3 year old baby with facial hair -You have a sharp memory for someone with Progeria -You know your vision is doing okay when you can see clearly see this is Mr.Clean with A.I technology. -"Looks like that big crusty teddy bear that you got yourself last month is the only thing you’ll be sleeping next to for a long time, unless you have a very unlucky dog" -You look like every other miserable accounting agent that tried to have a metal band in high school -One Pump Man -What tf happened to you? I’m honestly not trying to roast you I’m worried about you. it’s like those slides you see of meth heads mugshots throughout the years and they gets worse and worse. You look like my balls after a shower and a fresh shave -You look like Devin Townsend -If hero to zero was a person -You look like something villagers would chase out with pitchforks and torches. -Did you lose yer lucky charms? -This is actually just sad. I normally love making fun of fat guys but you just look genuinely…sad. I hope you figure it big boy. -I hope the chemotherapy is working. Thoughts and prayers -U look like Zelensky with chemo -"Ah yes the ""r/roastme: the evolution of a predator"" special." -You're not supposed to have your girlfriend in the picture with you. -Human embodiment of ooblek -Cancer patient? Hard to roast the make a wish kid. -Uglier than a sack full of assholes -"The only thing you've lost, besides your hair, is your potential." -Yeah -If Caillou and Dr. Doofenshmirtz had a baby. -Heard of pinkie and the brain? This is the human equalivant to the brain -"Is that teddy bear wearing a bra in bed, that’s some weird 💩. Couldn’t you afford at least the cheap plastic blow up dolls and save the teddy bears. Save the Teddy Bears!" -Hey a roasted peanut! -You look like the assistant youth pastor at a baptist church. -Bruh… what happened?  -Best “Incel Sperm” cosplay I’ve ever seen. -"So you went from young & ambitious -> VR hentai addict -> selfies while poopin on the bed. - - -That’s right. I can see right through that subtle poopin face. Almost had us fooled there." -"You get off on this, right?" -"Colton, when was the last time you let work get hacked? - -Edit: Might be more of a r/roastLTT than r/roastme tbh." -"You look the bland guy from drug documentaries Who used to be addicted to coke and now is married with 3 daughters. - -No roast here, thats just how u look like" -Glow down doesn’t come close to what happened. Holy shit dude get some help it’s actually concerning to see this happen to a person -"I bet you bottom for that teddy bear, don’t ya cutie boy?" -Make like your hair line and leave -Who knew real dolls also came in teddy version's?! -You look like you wear matching aprons with your transgender girlfriend while you cook mediocre meals for your friends -You should just grow your hair back and you'll be fine -Why he look like jake Paul in the first one😭 -"First pic you had hair and could see. Last pic you’ve lost your hair, your eyesight and the ability to attract a mate." -You went from a douche with a cushion on the floor to a power bottom with a mattress on the floor. That’s progress? -Lookin like a peeled Vsauce  -You really should have told the guys not to pull your hair so hard while giving BJs. I guess when you give them for free the numbers take their toll. -" Boy, you lost a lot of hair (Mr Kruger)" -Соскуфился мужик... -8 --> 4 --> 6. What is up with you? You oscillate like a changeling who lost its ability to copy hair -I hope you have someone to cry about your bald scull now... She may cry her tears right on your bald spot -"I see what you're doing man... - -Stop trying to get us to feed your humiliation fetish and go jerk off to porn like everyone else ya fuckin nerd." -Hair moved out cuz it couldn't stand what was happening in the head. -Wish vsauce -How do you find hats that fit? -Meg 2 lookin ass -Nice sign Library Megamind -Walter Wait -What happened? You was handsome. Was. -If Gun Control was a person -The Teddy bear wearing a red bra seems pretty twisted. -"Usually when people show a before and after photo, there's some type of positive progression." -You look like you’re from dunsseldorf -How did u fumble that bad💀 -Villager from minecraft -You look like sad Jerry Holkins. -Guy definitely puts red bra's on his teddy bears and fills them up with his Twink Ink. -"Bro I remember your post from years back, glad you’re still here with us homie." -Even your Teddy looks ashamed -How much do redditors wanna bet that the Teddy Bear has a pocket pussy sewn into is ass. -Owns a Ford truck & viagra in a picture -Glad you survived after 3 years and are now in remission. Stay strong! -I scrolled pass and I gotten blinded from this gremlin chrome dome -The chemo suits you well. -You look like Mr.Clean’s twink boyfriend -Good thing your bed and your jeans are there i wouldnt have seen you -Penis Head transition complete!! -"I understand the bed, but what drugs took your hair???" - I can't wait to see what you can be in like 9 years. You're the quintessence of glow down. -If Beetlejuice had a bald brother. -Bowling ball model -How did you age a decade?? -If you pump any more cum into that teddybear it's going starting yelling at you with a Boston accent and hanging out with Mark Wahlberg. -damn bro you went downhill -You look like if my penis wished it became a real boy. -The TRT took your hair but didn't improve the beard. What's with the bear? Is he your thunder buddy? -"Yeah, that's a glowdown" -Look like Mini Lad -That teddy bear looks as defeated as you -What flavor of cancer is this? -He's gone full cranial suppository. -There aren’t nothing we can roast you about that bear hasn’t seen you jerk off to 50 times -Hey Squidward how ya been? -"Hey vsauce, Micheal here" -I can't. You're so cute with Mr. Bear. -Vsauce here guys -Fk roasting - more congratulations -"Bro went from ""are you almost done with the dumbbells"" to ""I got candy in the van"" in just a few years" -your head looks like a ball. chemo -Your skull makes me think of a pair of testicles up side down. -i wanted to say you look like you’re disabled but that would be an insult to disabled people -Before and after? Linux? -Jerma -Vieze piemeltje hoofd lokale balzak -You got 1st place in the Micheal VSauce look-alike competition -#FuckCancer -Your head shines better than the mirror -Safe to say there won't be another pic uploaded in 3 years time. -ur forehead so shiny it blinding- -Those glasses don't suit you. Try a pair of tortoise shell rounder ones. -You can get stomped by Obie. -LTT’s Colton from Wish. -You’re so bald that if I ever want to check how I look I could use your head as a mirror -If squidward was human. -Have them implant your beard hair to your head problem solved -A rare case of Ade Edmonson disease with a touch of AIDS thrown in for good measure -You look like the evolution stages of an alt right pokemon -Your head is shiny-ier than my future -I've seen the war have less change on a man -The teddy with the red bra on wants out. It smiles but cry’s on the inside. -"You have us, we'll keep your spirits up:*" -Your bald head makes your entire identity look like a egg -"Wow Jessie, never take your own Meth!" -Ur the universal look of a IT guy -Imagining what a garbage pail kid and a teenage mutant ninja turtle offspring looked like. -That's a real glow down. -Bro is housenburg from breaking good -Mr clean mid transition -The teddy bear is checking him out and looking dissapointed. -You look disappointed to have made it. -You don't have anything other than a Teddy bear with a hole torn in its crotch area. -If a dick had vision problems. -"Wow, even your hair and beard dumped you." -Do some exercise mate you look prediabetic -How tf did you go completely bald in only 3 years!? -"How ya been, Moby?" -I'm sorry the gene therapy took such a terrible toll but glad you're on the mend. -God who isn’t real really hates you -It’s the Taliban Egg Eddie Hitler -"That’s a pretty shitty costume, Squidward" -It’s like a Pokémon evolution but you’re slowly becoming more incel -Is that your fuck doll? -you look more resigned to the fact thereof. -This is what happened to Oleksii Reznikov -The entire Eiffel Tower can stand on your head -I’ve seen people with Leukemia age better after 3 years. -"So apparently, AI was used to keep track of the ball during a soccer match but instead kept following the referee's head (who was bald) - -thats you, right?" -I looked into the future with your head. -howd u age 50 yrs in 3?? -Take off those disguise glasses and show us who you really are. -Do you fuck that teddy bear every night? -Your face is something that only your mother can appreciate -"Is that a full size mattress on the floor of a 38 year old it guys studio apartment, and a teddy bear wearing lingerie?" -"Well hello… you’re bald 🤷🏻‍♂️ -Nice teddy bear" -I don't have any diamonds to trade you for bread or iron ingots. -greatest fall off of all time -Dude turned into a Vsauce pastiche. :x -"You have attained your final form, Kilroy Zuckerberg!" -What do you call a man witch again -Usually “after” is an improvement. -Must have been tough getting that teddy bear with the whole “you must remain at least 500 feet from any place with children” ruling -"Hey guys, Vsauce here" -Best before and after picture I've ever seen for an anti drug campaign. This kids is why you don't do drugs. -"Wow, even your beard has a receding hairline." -Your head looks like a hard boiled egg on steroids -"You don’t have anything? I doubt that, I’m sure you’ve got a couple charges for child porn" -"The only pleasant thing about your bald ass head is the chance of blinding light bouncing off and shielding innocent bystanders from witnessing the sheer ugliness before them, but more than that, that unhideable look of debacle, that hideous window into just how fruitless your existence has been, which I hope has not burned itself into my psyche as irrevocably as it feels. I truly feel victimized by such a stark display of utter failure." -Join army lol 😂 Godbless u -The only thing he be humpin' now is the bear -Never going to get laid Edmondson. -Can we talk before you decide to do anything drastic? And if you don't wanna well at least post the time and place couple of days before. -Did you have to manually put yourself on the sex offender registry or did your barber automatically do it for you? -You look......easy to draw -If you keep making it easier there won't be any sport left by year 5 latest. -I'll bet that teddy bear feels like cement -Bro went from looking like old Chris from Mr beast to vsauce Michael here to discord mod -You’re in it for the long haul! Don’t give up! You’re the tortoise! 👍👍👍 -comment -"I assume your nickname is KFC because by the time guys finish with your breasts and thighs, all they have left is a greasy box to put their bone in." -"Just because your tits are in shot doesn’t mean people will find you attractive, you still got your fukin face in it" -I bet that cleavage is full of cookie crumbles -8 UTIs in one year. -"Oh, I'm sure those have seen plenty of shots." -Your entire demeanor screams I’m a starfish in the bedroom -"Nice, clean stache shave." -You might not think it… you might not know it.. but this woman has a full grown bush -Just crop a liiiittle bit more -Did you think people wouldn’t notice that you cropped out the top part of your head so your tits can be the main focus? -OnlyFails account forthcoming. -"Even with a cropped shot focused on your mediocre cans, I can tell you got one of those crazy townhouse foreheads." -"Awwww the poor girl probably debated for an hour about if she should crop half her head and face off to show more cleavage …. Or center her face and lose the cleavage……. Unfortunately, both options were destined to be disappointing." -All your cousins say you're the hottest girl in Little Rock. -Your personality replacements are showing -Too plain to work with here. You don't roast something without seasoning. You're like vanilla ice cream without the vanilla. Just white ice cream. And it's not even cold. -You’ve got your Dads tits and your Dads face… Fingers crossed you’ve got your Dads ass -As soon as I saw the photo I thought that the price for those tits was on the card -Keep cropping and you’ll be a 5 in no time. -Tits veinier than frankenstein’s forehead -You look like you could inject heroin into your tit vain! -"Not original, but you really do look like you smell like cat piss" -Looking forward to another year of YMCA summer camp ? -Two trailer park girls go round the outside -Trans Kevin from the Office with absolutely zero clue how to maintain hair. Why is the front straight and the rest wavy? Are you 11? -What the actual fuck is going on with your hair? -Crimson Chin lookin ass -You should use that push up bra for your standards not for your flat tires. -Your tit vein looks like it has more personality than your traffic sign shaped face. -"Just think, in a few more years, those udders are going to be keeping your belly button company." -"Sure, open wide" -Wish.com Alicia Silverstone -"Without that cleavage, I don’t think you have a shot of any attention from guys" -This looks like a thumbnail from pornhub -You’d actually make money on only fans if you were one of those ones that kept their face out of it. -Have we decided on what tramp stamp we’re going with yet? -I would say them breasts have had more shots on them than there has been shots fired in Afghanistan 😂 -You’ve definitely got a ‘neck-down’ type of face. -You look like you blew a lot of people in college to get into frat parties -"Had to get Reddit back because someone at work sent me this. Please can you delete, the fake account is not me. This picture is at least three years old. You’re welcome to go through my profile to find the original " -Nice fun bags for a dude -You're about 6 months away from black men only -I bet you have to shave your tits -An old dumpster sock is more worth my best shot. -I almost didn’t recognize you without all your holes filled with BBC -Butterface -"Listen close, and listen hard, to the tale of Violet Beauregard." -You could build apartments on that chin -"That pushup bra isn't distracting us enough from that horse face, you horsie horse face. 🐴 🐎" -Having big tits because you're fat is like saying you're flying because you're falling off a cliff. It's just not the same. -You look like you were the horse girl in school -You're lucky your tits look natural because I wouldn't have believed you if you told me you were not trans -Your chin and cheek bones are more defined than most guys I know -"Looks like your brother and dad give you their best shot, weekly...on the face." -"A career as the token busty chick in a commercial breakfast radio team awaits. - -Saying that, I did, of course, scroll through your profile 🤣" -Awww you will be fine.... there are a hundred lesbians that will like you.... promise -All that plastic and they still couldn't fix your face -you are the reason for post nut clarity -Crop the top half of the pic and then we can talk -How many guys have you said that to this week? -You could crack walnuts with that jaw. -Biological male with fake titties -On the heavies? -where do you want me to land that shot at -The best shot you've gotten is a money shot. -homegurl if that push-up bra goes any higher u finna suffocate -I bet she’s able to paint her toenails with her nipples. Standing. -"Why Jan Brady, you’ve enhanced yourself." -I gave you my best shot and now you are pregnant -"I’d hit that, but I’m all out of paper bags." -Made the poor girl quit Reddit -"So young, and already with a pair of overweight dependents. - -Baby got back like the Hulk from supporting those things?" -I feel like this picture is cropped to hide the fact you're 200 pounds. -Speaking of shots .... those tit's have seen plenty of jizz shots. -"Sargent slaughter chin, check, rack like Stephanie McMahon, check," -"Sadly, my best shot was released." -Just give your of already -Tits like an road atlas. -"Girl might be a 3 in Ohio, but she’s like a 6 on Skid Row" -I didn’t know Tim Dillon went into transition -How many guys did you say that to last weekend? -For a better photo try tilting your camera down roughly the height of your face -It would be a blonde that can't post an image without it being backwards -Backboard chin -Cinderblock chin -Where do you want your shot? I am guessing on the chest. -My best shot will be December 1 -You've got a butt where your chest should be. -You wanted us to make Onlyfans jokes. No one is calling out this post as an OnlyFans advertisement for a reason. -long ass neck -Damn you cute -"I know where I’m aiming it , too." -"If you were a spice, you'd be flour" -Money shot? -Well I'm off women for a month... fuck this... no. -Where do you want it? -Damn nice cleavage -I want you so bad it's driving me mad -Looks like you have had plenty!!! 🤮 -Do you want the shot on your face or in your pussy? Which'll it be? -You look like Pepe the froge -I wanna nut on your face -Cleft the boy chin wonder -Nice tities -Honey you so blonde you couldn't hold the paper right -All over your Himalayas? -The jawline looks like it from a ceo-magnon exhibit in a museum. -"I love that you posted in the Selfies thread that you are “feeling yourself”, because trust me, nobody will be willing to." -Gravity is already taking away your best quality -you've never had a hot cup of coffee in your life because by the time it passes through that long ace neck it's stone cold -Judging by the hooters it’s your only way to try and attract men? Sure isn’t your looks. -Are you going for the full transition or are you gonna keep the dong? -I'm sorry. I was distracted. What were you saying? -I like it when terribly average girls struggle to get into the hot club but keep getting stopped at the door. -You look like you got a gigantic bush that you can smuggle little mexican midgets through the border in -"Your forehead is so big that when you go to the movies, someone tries to chop it down" -You look like you ate Megan Trainor -What’s with all the thotssssssssssss -Where? the forehead or the chest? -Solid 8 dyslexic here! -I’d like to right on those love lumps. But I doubt you’d @ me. -This has to be Dream's sister or something -I'm sure many have given you a certain type of shot. -"Can't find anything to roast you with. -You're safe" -Probably on your chest but I digress. -You have no personality. Everything about you that is even remotely approachable is on your chest. -Those titles look like two grapes on a stick uag -Flip that bitch over cause this side is done! -That's just my brother Abe. -You’ve got nice tits. That’s all -I sure would -You’re cute … BURN! -"""Give me your best shot"" - - -*(unzips)* Ok...if you say so." -"Oh my God, she's got the connected earlopes. Isn't that from inbreeding??" -Nice tits for a dude. -I will absolutely give you my best cum shot if you come over -Poor man's Brooklyn Decker -When you’ve never been looked in the eyes -She screams to look at her tits and not her face.  -I know where my best shot is going to land -The best you're going to accomplish in life is letting some dude give you his best shot on your tits. -Your tits are the ONLY best feature on your body. At least with clothes on. -Why is your ass on your chest? -"KFC, Big Bucket, Butterface." -"Imagine flopping your tits around the internet for attention and validation and making your bio ""I don't nude bro"" like there's some kind of higher morality that you adhere to or something" -Reminds me of the slow girl from American Horror Story...with tits -What are those -"Holy shit you look just like my sister wtf 😳 - -https://bankozy.com/r/Babydee07👀" -"You can present them in as many flattering poses as you want, I know saggy funbags when I see them" -"butter face , everything good but her face" -That vain on the cleavage is scary. -"Stretches neck like a giraffe to hide the rolls. -Shows tits to hide the rolls. -This is a fucken baker's dozen in disguise. -Go back to tinder catfish" -Butterface Magee -We know you cropped this to hide your Eli Manning sized forehead -Shut your big t****** up. -"Where, face, chest, or back? And I don't know if I can pay the 100 you expect" -Horse girl without a horse -I’d have to put a bag over it -pillow princess fr -Those titties haven’t been adequately massaged since ur last youth ministry camp -Money shot? -Nice tits. Too bad your tits are the only things nice about you. -A Scranton 4 but NewYork 2 -I just did -I see a lot of wedding invitations but zero engagement rings -Your karma points are what you're rated on a 1-10 scale -Gross face. Nasty vein on tit -You’re like a vampires wet dream w that titty vein -Did you say something? -I will give your tits my best cumshot -"I read the ""shot"" as ""thot"" and I know exactly the reason why." -"That green vein on your tits is the reflection of your partner’s blind hardwork - -you could be prettier if I were blind" -You have nice knockers Sir. I wish I was your cousin so we could be close intimately. Do you use a paper bag during /personal relations? I could draw a funny face on the bag. -With tits like that i assume you've been roasted more than once -Tittys -Blue vein flatback -Pass -If pancakes were a person. Harmless and unassuming. Generic I guess -"You have a chin like buzz light-year and your tits stretch like slinky the dog. Even for an ugly asf looking Sid, you'd probably find some dumb asf guys who'd pay your only fans with a woody. 💯😂 Catch my references or am I too old now? C'mon." -Is this promotion for your onlyfans? -"My best shot? - -On your face or tits? - -JK I'm sure you have a great personality. - -2 big ones, just like your tits." -"Oh, how I wish I could 😜" -My best shot would be on those two melons you got -Do you mean money shot?? -Your hands look like bugs bunny's hands without gloves. Other than that... ur cool. -RILF. -If u put that paper Infront of your face i might titty fuck you -Is this the line to give her our best shot? *shoots self* -"Nah, she has 4 kids, 3 are mixed and one is white (the youngest because she felt like mixing it up or it was a drunken hookup)" -"That vein in your right tit is the size of a garden hose, and you know it." -Cheap internet prostitute -Don’t worry we still saw your face -You captured the exact moment you hit the wall. -"Good stuff :) - -If you know you know" -You're not fit dancing on the Clock App. You are fit dancing on Only Fans. -Your face is so unusual that guys are skiping strait to your tidys -Looking like you could save 20 starving malnutrition kids. -Your entire personality is your tits -if butterface was a person -"She looks like she gives very enthusiastic hand jobs by asking constantly, “do you like it like this”?" -Uff that vein there ....😌😌🤌🤌 -You are not very attractive -You'd be a great sex toy. -Im sorry but I would LOVE to give u my best shot...on the daily -"I'm sorry, what was that? Something about toast? I missed it." -tsaoR !em -I’ll take the basic white girl meal. 2 breasts. Hold the personality. -You present cleavage to distract from your horrible case of man face -How about an insulin shot? -Bitty? Want bitty now. -"ok, give us the Only Fans link. Its probably one of those ones thats like $3 a month, right?" -I can smell the sex toys from here. -I think you got lost on the way to r/noses -The fact that you took a picture of your veiny tits instead of your face. Says a lot about how much of a dumb bitch you are. -What's your plural? -The first time a saw you you looked ok. Then 5 seconds later you started tooling worse and worse and worse. Now you look like one of the guys from the hills have eyes. -Even the homely can get their desperate need for attention fulfilled by wearing a low cut top. -I'd roast you but it might cook them chicken wings you call arms. And I'm sure chicken breasts would be on the menu also. -I’m guessing many of a best-shots ended up on those. -Give me your best shot is what you say right before you get on your knees.. -You were the prematurely developed girl in middle school that let all the boys cop a feel so they knew what tits felt like and you’d have a sense of self worth. -At least the guys have a couple things to look at while they drunkenly create tomorrow's regret. -Spends the whole time rejecting nice responsible guys to screw nasty morons and complains about them cheating and being really nasty and that you can never find the one -You look like you condition your hair with semen. -Microwaved saggy Marshmellow tits stuck on a Mrs Potato head. -Never knew Grimace had tits like this -"If white trash ever had a royal family, you'd be the inbred ugly stepdaughter." -You got the handwriting of a 10 year old holding a marker in their mouth -You look like a 3rd grade elementary school music teacher -Congrats on your transition -The builders butt lol. 😂 -You look like you vote Republican. -Okay. -"The only thing you got going for you is your tits hun, theres not much to roast in the first place. <3" -The good ole tilt your head so that it stretches out your neck to hide your double chin. -Greasy is an understatement bruh call her earth cuz she round and looking like she got billions of tons of oil under that crust. -Shave the fugly unibrow Sir -FAT -Your tits look like they hang to your knees without a bra on. -"Even with your clever angle to show your breasts and hide the rest of you, we all still know that you’re fat." -Your best shot was last night when someone nutted all over your face and never called back the next day!!!! -"You know exactly what you're doing with that picture and title! I will not fall for it, woman!" -"I was going to say you’re assets distracted me from your run of the mill face. However, the giant blue vein distracted me from your assets. - -Truly a first for me." -Yo dumb ass forgot to turn over the paper -Those tiddies will be by your knees in a year. -Please can you delete this. I am the person in this photo. The photo is at least three years old ( you’re welcome to go to my profile and find the original or see more older photos of me) . Someone at work sent me this and I’m not in the mind set to be insulted so please delete it -"95% of folk read the wee bit o paper, then looked at the bottom o the pic, before finally looking up and going: ""ah, nevermind then""." -"I’d shoot a few shots, you know where they’re going." -Eyebrows thicker than my asshair. Sweat probably pours down and become purified water -"Last time I seen a roast that looked this good I was looking in my butchers fridge, to bad his wife couldn’t cook 3" -Losing weight doesn’t mean cropping it out of the pic -"If I saw you on Tinder, I’d swipe left." -oh i’ll give you more than one shot iykwim -The Nile runs strong in the left one -Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? -You look like a half filled blow up doll -You said it yourself “ give me your breast shot “…. -Orangutan titties ahhhhhhahhhhaaaaaa -Tits MacGee -Looks like your face already took all the shots -Gravity and time will not be kind to your pals -I thought you were attractive until I realized your face was also in the picture. -"Her body is like a box of chocolates. Sure it might look good at once buy, You sit down and eat the box and you end up full of regret, diarrhea, heart pain, diabetes and more regret." -All that hair just to hide those big elephant ears. -"You look like a failed OF girl, who will eventually go on twitch to expose skin and get views from kids." -"That bra is working really well, you need one for those jowls aswell" -She has cousin buddies -You have an OF? -I will -"I had a bad pain in head, just seeing you since last 30 minutes- feeling better now." -As long as you enjoy taking it… -Wtf is happening?!?! This comment section is probably the weakest roasts I’ve ever seen! the jokes aren’t very good but and everyone seems to be acting like the KFC bit is the most savage thing to have ever happened? It doesn’t really even make sense -You and your chin should probably find a bigger room. -You just ugly -This is not hate. This is a legitimate question. Are you transitioning? You have obvious breasts but also a mustache...