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"Thebes:" "City of the Living." "Crown jewe/ of Pharaoh Seti the First." "Home of /mhotep, Pharaoh's high priest." "Keeper of the Dead." "Birthp/ace of Anck-su-namun, Pharaoh's mistress." "No other man was a//owed to touch her." "But for their /ove, they were wi//ing to risk /ife itse/f." "What are you doing here?" "Who has touched you?" "mhotep" "My priest" "Pharaoh's bodyguards." "You must go/ Save yourse/f" " No." " On/y you can resurrect me" " won't /eave you" "Get away from me" "You sha// /ive again" " wi// resurrect you" "My body is no /onger his temp/e" "To resurrect Anck-su-namun /mhotep and his priests broke into her crypt and sto/e her body." "They raced into the desert taking Anck-su-namun's corpse to Hamunaptra, City of the Dead..." "HAMUNAPTRA - 1290 B.C." "...ancient buria/ site for the sons of pharaohs and resting p/ace for the wea/th of Egypt." "For his /ove, /mhotep dared the gods' anger by going deep into the city where he took the b/ack Book of the Dead from its ho/y resting p/ace." "Anck-su-namun's sou/ had been sent to the dark underwor/d her vita/ organs removed and p/aced in five sacred canopic jars." "Anck-su-namun's sou/ had come back from the dead." "But Pharaoh's bodyguards had fo//owed /mhotep and stopped him before the ritua/ cou/d be comp/eted." "mhotep's priests were condemned to be mummified a/ive." "As for /mhotep he was condemned to endure the Hom-Dai the worst of a// ancient curses one so horrib/e, it had never before been bestowed." "He was to remain sea/ed inside his sarcophagus the undead for a// of eternity." "The Magi wou/d never a//ow him to be re/eased for he wou/d arise a wa/king disease, a p/ague upon mankind an unho/y f/esh-eater with the strength of ages power over the sands and the g/ory of invincibi/ity." "HAMUNAPTRA - 1923" "For 3,000 years, men and armies fought over this /and never knowing what evi/ /ay beneath it." "And for 3,000 years we, the Magi, the descendants of Pharaoh's sacred bodyguards, kept watch." "You just got promoted." "Steady!" "You're with me on this one, right?" "Your strength gives me strength." "Steady!" "Wait for me!" "Steady!" "Fire!" "Run, Beni!" "Run!" "Get inside!" "Get inside!" "Don't you close that door!" "Don't you close that door!" "The Creature remains undiscovered." "And what of this one?" " Shou/d we ki// him?" " No." "The desertwi// ki// him." "CAIRO, EGYPT 3 YEARS LATER" ""Sacred Stones." ""Sculpture and Aesthetics." ""Socrates, Seth, volume one, volume two..." ""...and volume three."" "And..." ""Tuthmosis"?" "What are you doing here?" "T..." ""T."" "I'm going to put you where you belong." "Help." "What..." "Look at this!" "Sons of the pharaohs!" "Give me frogs, flies, locusts anything but you!" "Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy!" "I am so very sorry." "It was an accident." "When Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident." "You... are a catastrophe!" "Look at my library!" "Why do I put up with you?" "Well, you put up with me because I can..." "I can read and write Ancient Egyptian and I can decipher hieroglyphics and hieratic and I'm the only person within a thousand miles who knows how to properly code and catalog this library, that's why." "I put up with you because your father and mother were our finest patrons." "That's why!" "Allah rest their souls." "I don't care how you do it, I don't care how long it takes." "Straighten up this meshiver!" "Hello?" "Abdul?" "Mohammed?" "Bob?" "Have you no respect for the dead?" "Of course I do!" "But sometimes, I'd rather like to join them." "Do it soon before you ruin my career the way you've ruined yours." "Get out!" "My dear, sweet baby sister I'll have you know that at this precise moment my career is on a high note." ""High note." Please, I'm really not in the mood for you." "I've just made a bit of a mess in the library and the Bembridge scholars rejected my application again." "They say I don't have enough experience in the field." "You'll always have me, old mum." "Besides, I have just the thing to cheer you up." "No, Jonathan, not another worthless trinket." "If I have to take one more piece of junk to the curator to try and sell for you..." "Where did you get this?" "On a dig down in Thebes." "My whole life I've never found anything." "Please tell me I've found something." " Jonathan." " Yes?" "I think you've found something." "See the cartouche." "It's the official royal seal of Seti the First, I'm sure of it." " Perhaps." " Two questions:" "Who the hell was Seti the First, and was he rich?" "He was the second pharaoh of the 19th dynasty the wealthiest pharaoh of all." "Good." "I like this fellow." " I like him a lot." " I've already dated the map." "It's almost 3,000 years old." "And if you look at the hieratic just here it's Hamunaptra." "Dear God, don't be ridiculous." "We're scholars, not treasure hunters." "Hamunaptra's a myth told by ancient Arab storytellers to amuse Greek and Roman tourists." "I know all the blather that the city is protected by the curse of a mummy but my research leads me to believe that the city may have actually existed." "Do you mean the Hamunaptra?" "Yes." "The City of the Dead where the pharaohs presumably hid the wealth of Egypt." "Yes, in a big underground treasure chamber." "Come on." "Everybody knows the story." "The necropolis was rigged to sink into the sand on Pharaoh's command." "Turn a switch and it would disappear into the sand with the treasure." "As the Americans would say, it's all fairy tales and hokum..." "My goodness!" "Look at that!" "You've burnt the part with the lost city." "It's for the best, I'm sure." "Many men have wasted their lives in the foolish pursuit of Hamunaptra." "No one's ever found it." "Most have never returned." "Come!" "Step over the threshold." "Welcome to Cairo Prison, my humble home." "You told me that you got it on a dig down in Thebes." " I was mistaken." " You lied." "I lie to everybody." "Why not to you?" " I'm your sister." " Which makes you more gullible." " You stole it from a drunk!" " Picked his pocket, actually." "Stop being ridiculous." " Why exactly is this man in prison?" " This I did not know." "But when I heard you were coming, I asked him that myself." "What did he say?" "He said he was just looking for a good time." " This is the man that you stole it from?" " Yes, exactly." " Why don't we go sniff out a spot of tiffin..." " Who are you?" " And who's the broad?" " "Broad"?" "I'm just a local sort of missionary chap, spreading the good word." " This is my sister, Evy." " How do you do?" " I guess she's not a total loss." " I beg your pardon." " I'll be right back." " Ask him about the box." "We have found..." "Hello." "Excuse me." "We both found your puzzle box and we've come to ask you about it." " No." " No." "You came to ask me about Hamunaptra." "How do you know the box pertains to Hamunaptra?" "Because that's where I was when I found it." "I was there." "But how do we know that's not a load of pig's wallow?" " Do I know you?" " No, I've just got one of those faces." "You were actually at Hamunaptra?" "Yeah." " You swear?" " Every damn day." " I didn't mean that." " I know." "I was there." "Seti's place." "City of the Dead." "Could you tell me how to get there?" "I mean, the exact location." " You want to know?" " Well, yes." " Do you really want to know?" " Yes." "Then get me the hell out of here!" "Do it, lady!" "Where are they taking him?" "To be hanged." "Apparently, he had a very good time." "I'll give you 100 pounds to save this man's life." "Madam, I would pay 100 pounds just to see him hang." " 200 pounds!" " Proceed!" "300 pounds!" "Any last requests, pig?" "Yeah." "Loosen the knot and let me go." "Of course we don't let him go!" "500 pounds!" "And what else?" "I'm a very lonely man." "No!" "His neck did not break!" "I'm so sorry." "Now we must watch him strangle to death." "He knows the location to Hamunaptra." " You lie." " I would never!" "This filthy, godless son of a pig knows where to find the City of the Dead?" " Yes!" " Truly?" "And if you cut him down, we will give you..." " Ten percent." " Fifty percent." " Twenty." " Forty." " Thirty!" " Twenty-five." "Deal." "Cut him down!" "GIZA PORT" " CAIRO" "Do you really think he'll come?" "Yes, undoubtedly, knowing my luck." "He may be a cowboy, but I know the breed." "His word is his word." "Personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel." " I don't like him one bit." " Anyone I know?" "Hello." "Smashing day for the start of an adventure, O'Connell?" "Yeah, smashing." "No, I'd never steal from a partner, partner." "That reminds me, no hard feelings about the..." " Happens all the time." " Mr. O'Connell." "Can you look me in the eye and guarantee this isn't some kind of a flimflam?" " Because if it is, I am warning you..." " You're warning me?" "Let me put it this way, my whole damn garrison believed in this so much they marched across Libya and into Egypt to find that city." "When we got there, all we found was sand and blood." "Let me get your bags." "Yes, you're right." "Filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel." "Nothing to like there at all." "Bright good morning to all." "Oh, no." "What are you doing here?" "I'm here to protect my investment, thank you very much." "Quit playing with your glasses and cut the deck, Burns." "Without my glasses I can't see the deck to cut it, Dave." "O'Connell, sit down." "We could use another player." " I only gamble with my life, never money." " Never?" "What if I was to bet you $500 that we get to Hamunaptra before you?" " You're looking for Hamunaptra?" " Damn straight we are." " And who says we are?" " He does." "Well, how about it?" "Is it a bet?" " All right, you're on." " What makes you so confident, sir?" " What makes you?" " We got a man who's actually been there." "What a coincidence, because O'Connell..." "Whose play is it?" "Is it my play?" "Gentlemen, we got us a wager." "Good evening, Jonathan." "Sorry." "Didn't mean to scare you." "The only thing that scares me are your manners." "Still angry about that kiss?" "If you call that a kiss." "Did I miss something?" "Are we going into battle?" "Lady, there's something out there." "Something underneath that sand." "I'm hoping to find a certain artifact." "A book, actually." "My brother thinks there's treasure." " What do you think's out there?" " In a word, evil." "The Bedouin and the Tuaregs believe that Hamunaptra is cursed." "Look, I don't believe in fairy tales and hokum, Mr. O'Connell but I think one of the most famous books in history is buried there." "The Book of Amun-Ra." "It contains within it all the secret incantations of the old kingdom." "It's what first interested me in Egypt when I was a child." "It's why I came here, sort of a life's pursuit." "And the fact that they say it's made of pure gold makes no never mind to you?" " Right?" " You know your history." "I know my treasure." "By the way why did you kiss me?" "I was about to be hanged." "It seemed like a good idea." "What?" "What did I say?" "What a surprise!" "My good friend, you're alive!" "I was so very, very worried." "Well, if it ain't my little buddy, Beni." " I think I'll kill you." " Think of my children." "You don't have any children." " Someday I might." " Shut up!" "So you're the one who's leading the Americans." "I might have known." "So what's the scam?" "You take them into the desert, and leave them to rot?" "Unfortunately, no." "These Americans are smart." "They pay me half now, half when we return to Cairo." " So this time I must go all the way." " Them's the breaks." "You never believed in Hamunaptra." "Why are you going back?" "You see that girl?" "She saved my neck." "You always did have more balls than brains." "Good-bye, Beni." "O'Connell!" ""George Bembridge..." ""...in 1860..." ""In 1865 with..."" "For heaven's sake, girl, it wasn't that good of a kiss, anyway." "Where is the map?" "There." "And the key?" "Where is the key?" "The key?" "What key?" "The map!" "We forgot the map!" "Relax." "I'm the map." "It's all up here." "That's comforting." " The key!" " Evy?" "Hold on to this." "Can you swim?" " I can swim if the occasion calls for it." " Trust me." "It calls for it." "O'Connell!" "What are we going to do?" " Wait here!" "I'll go get help!" " Right!" "Americans." "I say, bloody good show, chaps!" "And did I panic?" "I think not." "Get 'em out of the water!" "Come on, dogies!" "Give them a smack, would you!" "This is a messed-up country." "We've lost everything!" "All of our tools, all the equipment all my clothes!" "O'Connell!" "It looks to me like I've got all the horses!" "Beni!" "It looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!" "Yeah." "I only want four!" "Four!" "I only want four, not a whole bloody herd!" "Can you believe this cheat?" "Just pay the man." "For heaven's sakes, can't believe the price of these fleabags." " Very good." " You probably could've got them for free." " You just had to give him your sister." " Yes." "Awfully tempting, wasn't it?" "Awfully." "Never did like camels." "Filthy buggers." "They smell, they bite, they spit." "Disgusting." "I think they're adorable." "This one is strong." "Good morning, my friend." "What are we doing?" "Patience, my good barat'm." "Patience." "Remember our bet, O'Connell?" "First one to the city, $500 cash." "$100 is yours if you help us win that bet." "My pleasure." "O'Connell nice camel." "Get ready for it." "For what?" "We're about to be shown the way." "Will you look at that?" "Can you believe it?" "Hamunaptra." "Here we go again." "So long, Beni!" "That serves you right." "Go, Evy!" "Go!" "Do they know something we don't?" "They are led by a woman." "What does a woman know?" "That's a statue of Anubis." "Its legs go deep underground." "According to Bembridge scholars, we'll find a secret compartment there containing the golden Book of Amun-Ra." "Jonathan, you're meant to catch the sun with that." "What are these old mirrors for?" "Ancient mirrors." "It's an ancient Egyptian trick." "You'll see." "Here, this is for you." "Go ahead." "It's something I borrowed off our American brethren." "I thought you might like it." "You might need it for when you're..." "What are you looking at?" "Look for bugs." "I hate bugs." "We're standing inside a room no one has entered in over 3,000 years." "What is that God-awful stench?" ""And then there was..." ""..." "light."" "Hey, that is a neat trick." " My God." "It's a Sah-Netjer." " What?" " Preparation room." " For what?" "For entering the afterlife." "Mummies, my good son." "This is where they made the mummies." "What was that?" "Sounds like... bugs." "He said bugs." "What do you mean, bugs?" "I hate bugs." "The legs of Anubis." "The secret compartment should be hidden somewhere inside here." "You scared the bejesus out of us." "Likewise." " That's my tool kit." " I don't think so." "Okay." "Perhaps I was mistaken." "Have a nice day, gentlemen." "We have a lot of work to do." " Push off!" "This is our dig site." " We got here first." "This here's our statue, friend." "I don't see your name written on it, pal." "There's only four of you and 15 of me." "Your odds are not so great." " I've had worse." " Me, too." "For goodness' sake, let's be nice, children." "If we're going to play together, we must learn to share." "There are other places to dig." "According to these hieroglyphics we're underneath the statue." "We should come up between his legs." "When those damn Yanks go to sleep no offense..." " None taken." "...we'll dig up and steal the book from under them." "Are you sure we can find this secret compartment?" "Yes, if those beastly Americans haven't beaten us to it." " No offense." " None taken." "Where did our smelly little friend go to?" "What have we here?" "Blue gold." "This will fetch a mighty fine price." " Let's get us some treasure!" " Careful!" "Seti was no fool." "I think perhaps we should let the diggers open it." "I think we should listen to the good doctor, Henderson." "Yeah, sure." "Let them open it." "So they ripped out your guts and stuffed them in jars." "They'd take out your heart as well." "Know how they took out your brains?" "We don't need to know this." "They'd take a sharp, red-hot poker, stick it up your nose scramble things about a bit and then rip it out through your nostrils." "That must hurt." "It's mummification." "You're dead when they do it." "If I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification." "Likewise." "Oh, my God." "It's a..." "It's a sarcophagus." "Buried at the base of Anubis." "He must have been someone of great importance." "Or he did something very naughty." "Allah." "One more." "Help me!" "Help me!" "Who is it?" ""He That Shall Not Be Named."" "This looks like some sort of a lock." " Whoever's in here sure wasn't getting out." " No kidding." "It'll take a month to crack into this thing without a key." "A key?" "A key!" "That's what he was talking about!" " Who?" " The man on the barge." "The one with the hook." "He was looking for a key." "That's mine." " What do you suppose killed him?" " Did you ever see him eat?" "Seems that our American friends had a little misfortune of their own today." "Three of their diggers were... melted." " What?" " How?" "Salt acid." "Pressurized salt acid." "Some kind of ancient booby trap." "Maybe this place really is cursed." "For goodness' sake, you two!" " You don't believe in curses?" " No." "I believe if I can see it and touch it, it's real." "That's what I believe." "I believe in being prepared." "Let's see what our friend the warden believed in." "What is it?" "A broken bottle." "Glenlivet." "Twelve years old!" "He may have been a stinky fellow, but he had good taste." "Take this." "Stay here." " No, wait!" "Wait for me." " Evy!" "Excuse me, but didn't the man just say "stay here"?" "Evy!" "Mr. Henderson!" "Wake up!" "Enough!" "We will shed no more blood, but you must leave." "Leave this place or die." "You have one day." "Evelyn." " Are you all right?" " Yes, I'm fine." " You sure?" " Thank you." "That proves it." "Old Seti's fortune has got to be under this sand." "For them to protect it like this, there's got to be treasure down there." "These men are desert people." "They value water, not gold." "You know, maybe just at night we could combine forces?" "Tough stuff, try a right hook." "Ball up your fist and put it up like that." "Then mean it." "Hit it here." "I mean it!" "Okay, it's time for another drink." "Unlike my brother, sir I know when to say no." "And unlike your brother, miss you, I just don't get." "I know." "You're wondering what is a place like me doing in a girl like this." "Yeah, something like that." "Egypt is in my blood." "You see, my father was a very, very famous explorer." "He loved Egypt so much he married my mother, who was an Egyptian and quite an adventurer herself." "I get your father, and I get your mother and I get him, but..." "What are you doing here?" "I may not be an explorer or an adventurer or a treasure seeker, or a gunfighter Mr. O'Connell but I am proud of what I am." "And what is that?" "I am a librarian." "And I am going to kiss you Mr. O'Connell." "Call me Rick." "Oh, Rick." " There is a curse upon this chest." " Curse, my ass." " Who cares?" " Have a care, Mr. Henderson." "On these hallowed grounds, that set forth in ancient times is as strong today as it was then." " We understand." "What's it say?" ""Death will come on swift wings..." ""...to whomsoever opens this chest."" "We should not be here." "This is not good." "It says, "There is one..." ""...the undead..." ""...who, if brought back to life, is bound by sacred law..." ""...to consummate this curse."" "Let's not bring anyone back from the dead then." ""He will kill all who open this chest..." ""...and assimilate their organs and fluids..." ""...and in so doing, he will regenerate..." ""...and no longer be the undead..." ""...but a plague upon this earth."" "Well, we didn't come all this way for nothing." " That's right." " It's the curse." "It's the curse." "It's the curse!" "Beware of the curse!" "Beware!" "Stupid superstitious bastard." "I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl." "You dream about dead guys?" "Look, the sacred spells have been chiseled off." "This man must've been condemned both in this life and the next." " Tough break." " Yeah, I'm all tears." "Now, let's see who's inside." "Shall we?" "I hate it when these things do that." "Is he supposed to look like that?" "I've never seen a mummy look like this before." "He's still..." " Juicy." " Yes." "He must be more than 3,000 years old and it looks as if he's still decomposing." "Look at that." "What do you make of this?" "These marks were made with fingernails." "This man was buried alive." "And he left a message." ""Death is only the beginning."" "Oh, my God." "It does exist." " The Book of the Dead." " A book?" "Who cares about a book?" "Where the hell's the treasure?" "This, gentlemen this is treasure." "I wouldn't trade you for a brass..." "Look at that." "There's your treasure, gentlemen." "Now we're onto something." "I believe you need a key to open that book." "What do you think these will fetch back home?" "We hear you boys found yourselves a nice, gooey mummy." "Congratulations." "If you dry that fella out, you might be able to sell him for firewood." "Look what I found." "You're in her seat." " Now!" " Yes." "Scarab skeletons, flesh-eaters." "I found them inside our friend's coffin." "They can stay alive for years feasting on the flesh of a corpse." "Too bad for our friend, he was still alive when they started eating him." "So somebody threw these in with our guy, and then they slowly ate him alive?" "Very slowly." "He sure wasn't a popular guy when they planted him." "He probably got a little too frisky with the Pharaoh's daughter." "According to my readings our friend suffered the Hom-Dai, the worst of all ancient Egyptian curses one reserved only for the most evil of blasphemers." "I've never heard of this curse having actually been performed." " That bad?" " Yes, well, they..." "They never used it because they feared it so." "It's written that if a victim of the Hom-Dai should ever arise he would bring with him the ten plagues of Egypt." "That's called stealing, you know." "According to you and my brother it's called borrowing." "I thought the Book of Amun-Ra was made out of gold." "It is made out of gold." "This isn't the Book of Amun-Ra." "This is something else." "I think this may be the Book of the Dead." "The Book of the Dead?" "Should you be playing around with it?" "It's just a book." "No harm ever came from reading a book." "That happens a lot around here." "What's it say?" ""Amun-Ra." "Amun-Dei."" "It speaks of the night and of the day." "No!" "You must not read from the book!" "Run!" "Go, go!" "What have we done?" "Where'd they come from?" "I ain't waiting around to find out." "My glasses." "Where are my glasses?" "Leave me!" "Leave me!" "Could you help me find my..." "Wait for me!" "Who's there?" "Who's there?" "Daniels?" "Scarabs!" " Run, Evy!" " Go, go!" "Run!" " Evelyn?" " Evy?" "Mr. Burns." "Thank goodness." "I was just starting to get scared." "I've lost everyone." "L..." "My eyes." "My eyes." "Please help me." "He took my tongue." "Please don't leave me." "Anck-su-namun?" "Damn it!" "It's a trapdoor." "There must be a switch around here someplace." "Run, you sons of bitches!" "Run!" "Go." "Go!" "Go!" "Come with me my Princess Anck-su-namun." "There you are!" "Stop playing hide-and-seek." "Let's get out of here." "Evy!" " Move!" " Did you see that?" "It was walking." "It was walking!" "I told you to leave or die." "You refused."

"Really, really big." "It's about the plane that won the war..." "After you had flown in it, you had faith in it." "It's about men who flew into the darkness..." "We were just schoolboys." "..and rained down fire." "Above all, it's about the thousands who gave their lives flying in it..." "You didn't see dead bodies, you just saw empty beds."

"Fly me to the moon" "Let me play among the stars" "Let me see what spring is like" "On Jupiter and Mars" "In other words" "Hold my hand" "In other words" "Baby, kiss me" "Fill my heart with song" "And let me sing forevermore" "You are all I long for" "All I worship and adore" "In other words" "Please be true" "In other words" "I love you" "Fill my heart with song" "Let me sing forevermore" "You are all I long for" "All I worship and adore" "In other words" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Please be true" "In other words" "In other words" "I" "Love" "Good morning." "Jackson-Steinem." "You" "How you doing, Buddy?" "Doing any better, it'd be a sin." "Good morning." "Good morning, Dan." "What's looking good today?" "If I knew, I wouldn't be in this business." "Get out while you're young, kid." "I came here one day and look at me now." "Ah, look at you now." "Good morning, Brian." "Chuckie!" "How's the woman slayer?" "Still looking for the right 18-year-old wife." "How you doing, pal?" "If I had your looks, better." "Takes genetics, education, and the right tailor." "Not that you learned anything." "Marv, I got a feeling we'll make a killing today." "Oh, yeah?" "Where's your machine gun?" "Jesus, you can't make a buck in this market." "The country's going to hell faster than when Roosevelt was in charge." "Too much cheap money." "Worst mistake was getting off the gold standard." "Putney Drug." "You might want to look at it." "No." "Take five years for that company to come around." "But they got a good new drug." "Stick to the fundamentals." "That's how I BM and Hilton were built." "Good things sometimes take time." "Look sharp today, especially you rookies." "The Nikkei Index closed up 90 points last night." "We expect heavyJapanese buying on the opening." "Get on the horn with your institution." "Report on their appetite." "Utilities are our top priority today." "O.K., let's go to work!" "And they're off and running!" "Can we check that for you?" "10,000..." "I can confirm that." "We cleared up to 60,000..." "G.C. At 481/2." "Yes, that's right." "10,000." "Right." "The market just opened." "What are you talking about?" "Here's a hot lead." "Research just put thrifts on the recommended." "Yeah!" "Dump them, for Christ's sake!" "Jack, 30,000. 38 top." "I'd go long at 23." "You got it." "Now you own it." "Conwest Air?" "Let me check." "10,000 at the 1/4." "That's Industrial Oil... 29,000 Niagaras for Templeton!" "We are in the middle of the biggest bull market our generation or any other ever witnessed." "Sir, if you'd take five minutes of your time..." "Looking for 50,000 Con Air!" "What do you got?" "September?" "How about those Decembers?" "Bud Fox, Jackson-Steinem." "If I could have five minutes of your time to explain the extraordinary opportunities emerging in the international debt market..." "I know all about it." "Bud Fox, Jackson-Steinem." "If I could have five minutes of your time to explain the extraordinary opportunities emerging in the international debt market..." "I'm sure that, uh..." "It concerns my future!" "I need the information now, before the close!" "In 10 minutes, it's history!" "At 4:00, I'm a dinosaur!" "Sure, it's gone down, but you got the tip, I didn't." "I didn't tell you to buy it." "Why would I tell you to sell it?" "I can't give it back." "You own it!" "He's not here right now." "That's what you told us to say." "Give me that phone." "Hello?" "Hello." "This is the sales manager." "What seems to be the problem?" "Give me a break!" "How was I supposed to know you were in surgery!" "Want me to pull my account?" "No, sir." "I'll discuss that with the account executive." "You're welcome." "I'm closing the account out." "If he doesn't pay tomorrow, you pay." "Mr. Lynch, I swear to you he's lying!" "We give you one of those rich man's accounts." "You tell me he'll D.K. You for a Lousy 1/4 point?" "You know he's got a history of this kind of bullshit!" "Somebody's got to pay." "Ain't going to be me." "Little trouble today, Buddy?" "Howard the jerk reneged on me." "I've got to cover his losses to the tune of about seven grand!" "Yeah, I'm holding." "I'm tapped out, Marv." "American Express has a hit man looking for me." "Well, could have been worse." "Could have been my money." "Here, here, rookie, let me help you out." "What do I got?" "A C-note." "Thanks, Marv." "I'll make it up to you." "Yes, I am still here!" "You know what my dream is?" "To be on the other end of that phone." "You got it!" "Where the real cheesecake is." "Bud, you forgetting something?" "The Gekko phone call!" "Buddy, when are you going to realize big game hunters bag the elephants, not guys like us." "Gordon Gekko, please." "30 seconds after the Challenger blew up," "Gekko's selling NASA stock short!" "Yeah, but he made 23 on the Imperial deal before he was 40." "The guy makes 20 times what Dave Winfield makes in a year, and he talks to everybody." "And he had an ethical by-pass at birth!" "Hello, Natalie?" "Guess who?" "Mr. Fox." "That's right." "Every day I tell myself, "today could be the day."" "Will you marry me?" " I'll think about it." " That's terrible." "Please get me through to Mr. Gekko." "Five minutes, that's all I'm asking." "Mr. Fox, I'm sure you're a good broker, but our traders deal with the brokers." "Mr. Gekko only deals with investment bankers." "Tell him I called." "There are big changes in the international debt market." "Leo, I understand, but you have to realize there'll be major subordinated debt involved." "Buddy boy, how you doing?" "Great, Charlie." "Any better would be a sin." "I hear all wall street guys are millionaires." "When you gonna make us all rich?" "Give me 50 grand," "I'll get you a condo in Florida next Christmas." "Sure!" "We'll own the airline by then!" "Let him make himself rich so he can pay off his school loans." "Nice to see you're in such a good mood." "What did mom give you fish for dinner?" "You're smoking too much." "How many times you gotta go to the hospital..." "Leave me alone." "It's the only thing that makes me feel good." "Your mother still makes lousy spaghetti." "It's called pasta now." "Spaghetti's out-of-date." "So am I. You want a beer?" "Yeah." "A Molson Light for the kid!" "He's looking good." "He looks terrific." "Carl, we'll be at the bar." "Nice seeing you, Buddy." "Take care." "You look like you've grown another inch, but you don't look so hot, Buddy." "Starting to get bags under your eyes like your old man." "I had a tough day." "Some jerk D.K. Ed me." "I got to cover his losses." "Speak English." "D.K. Didn't know who I was when the options he bought took a bath." "I warned you about that racket." "You could have been a doctor or lawyer." "If you'd stayed at Bluestar, you could have been a supervisor instead of a salesman." "I am not a salesman, I'm an account executive." "Soon I'll be in the investment banking side." "You ask strangers for money, you're a salesman." "I'm building a client list!" "I could make more money in one year as a broker than I could in five years at this airline." "You borrow money to go to NYU." "You made 50 grand last year." "You still can't pay off your loans!" "50K doesn't get you to first base in the Big Apple." "40% in taxes, 15 grand for rent, parking, three bills a month, good suits 400 bucks a pop..." "Live rent-free at home." "$50,000!" "Jesus Christ!" "The whole world's off its rocker!" "I made a total of $47,000 last year." "That's before taxes." "That's Queens!" "A 5% mortgage" "And you rent the top room!" "I got to live in Manhattan to be a player." "There's no nobility in poverty anymore." "One day you'll be proud of me." "It's yourself you got to be proud of, huckleberry." "How much you need?" "Can you spare 300?" "I don't know if I got that much on me." "Not in here, please." "It adds up." "You know 300 here, 200 there." "Well, money's only something you need in case you don't die tomorrow." "How you doing?" "How's work been treating you?" "Damn mandatory drug tests are driving my men crazy." "The only good news is we had a meeting with the controller about union business, and guess what." "Remember the accident last year and the investigation?" "The FAA is going to rule it was a manufacturing error." "I told them it wasn't maintenance." "It's those god damned greedy manufacturers out in Cincinnati." "That's great, Dad." "We'll be out of suspension." "We can get new routes to Pittsburgh and Boston now." "We'll compete with the big guys." "Well, to Bluestar." "As your broker," "I advise that you hold on to that stock." "What stock?" "Are you kidding?" "You sure about this thing?" "What?" "The FAA announcement." "Sure I'm sure." "Look at me." "You've got that mischievous look in your eye, Buddy." "You used to smile like that when you were a kid sleeping." "It's true, just like that." "Morning, Gordon." "There's a delivery for Mr. Gekko." "He needs your signature." "Send him in." "Hello, Natalie." "Recognize the voice?" "I'll give you a hint." "You're seriously considering marrying me." "You're lovelier than I pictured." "I have Mr. Gekko's birthday present." "You can't come barging in, and what makes you think it's his birthday?" "It's in the bible, see?" "You better buy him a gift." "Please, Natalie, let me give this to him." "Cuban cigars." "Davidoff, his favorite, and very tough to get." "Please, Natalie." "Stay here." "I'll see what I can do." "Wait outside." "Yeah, I'll see you shortly." "I hope." "Five minutes." "Well, life all comes down to a few moments." "This is one of them." "What the hell's going on?" "I'm looking at 200,000 shares move." "Are we part of it?" "We'd better be, or I'm going to eat your lunch for you." "Sorry, Jeff." "I loved it at 40." "It's insulting at 50." "Their analysts don't know preferred stock from livestock." "When it heads south, we raise the sperm count." "This is the kid who calls 59 days in a row, wants to be a player." "Should be a picture of you in the dictionary under "persistence."" "I'm looking for negative control, no more than 30%, 35%, enough to block any merger plans and find out if the books are cooked." "If it looks good on paper, we're in the kill zone." "Lunch?" "Lunch is for wimps." "Billy, I'll talk at you." "I'm Bud Fox." "So you say." "Nice meeting you." "I hope you're intelligent." "Where did you get these?" "An airport connection." "So, what's on your mind, kemo sabe?" "Why am I listening to you?" "I've got to monitor my blood pressure, so don't upset me." "No, no, sir." "Within 45 seconds, the microprocessor computes your systolic and diastolic pressure." "Got an LCD readout." "Cost effective, less than one visit to a doctor." "I want to let you know that I've read about you at NYU business." "I think you're an incredible genius." "I've dreamed of doing business with a man like you." "What firm you with, pal?" "Jackson-Steinem." "They're going places, good junk bond department." "You're financing thatJanson investment?" "Yeah." "We're working on some interesting stuff." "Cosmetic company, by any chance?" "Are you 12th man on the deal team?" "I can't tell you that, Mr. Gekko." "Why are you here?" "Chart break out on Whitewood-Young." "30% discount from the book." "Couple of 5% holders." "It's a dog." "Very strong management." "It's a dog." "What else you got?" "Mr. Stevenson in San Francisco." "He respond to the offer?" "What?" "He's in Chicago." "What is Cromwell doing giving a lecture tour when he's losing 60 million a quarter?" "He must give lectures on losing money." "If he owned a funeral parlor, no one would die." "This turkey's totally brain dead!" "Christmas is over, and business is business." "Dilute the son of a bitch!" "I want every orifice in his fucking body flowing red." "He's flowing, Gordo." "This guy's the best trader on the streets." "Susan, get me the LBO analysis on Teldar Paper, please." "Mr. Gekko, your wife." "What else?" "What else you got?" "Tarafly." "Analysts don't like it," "I do." "The breakup value is twice the market price." "Sell two divisions..." "Not bad, but that's a dog with different fleas." "Come on, pal." "Tell me something I don't know." "It's my birthday." "Surprise me." "Bluestar." "What?" "Bluestar Airlines." "Rings a bell somewhere." "So what?" "It's a comer." "80 medium-body jets, 300 pilots, flies Florida..." "Canada, uh, Northeast, Caribbean, great slots in major cities." "I don't like airlines." "Lousy unions." "There was a crash last year." "They just got a favorable ruling on a lawsuit." "Even the plaintiffs don't know." "How do you know about it?" "I just know." "The decision should clear the way for new planes and route contracts." "There's only a small float." "Good for a five-point pop." "Just got 250,000 shares at 181/4 from Janson." "I can pull twice that from California pensions." "We're near half a million shares." "Huh?" "The terminator!" "Blow them away, Ollie!" "I think we've got the Beezer brothers coming in." "I'm working on the Silverbergs." "Rip their fucking throats out!" "Stuff them in your garbage compactor!" "Got a card?" "Home number's on the back." "Bud Fox, I look at 100 deals a day." "I choose one." "I hope to hear from you." "Thanks for the cigars." "We're going over 5% in Teldar." "Start the lawyers on a tender offer at 13D." "We don't pay over 22." "They will fight." "Myers and Thromburg are doing their legal." "Thanks, Natalie." "Have a nice day, Mr. Fox." "Your conference call is ready." "Mr. Sugarman and Mr. Lorenzo in Delaware," "Mr. Jackson and Ms. Roscoe in London." "But, please, I'm begging you." "I'm in a bind." "I've got all these damn new computers, and young men are edging me out of here." "Hey, Bud, did he see you?" "Yeah, he saw right through me." "Cheer up, Buddy," "You shook Gekko the great's hand, and you still got your fingers." "Did you get something from him?" "Teldar Paper, huh?" "Nah." "It's a dog with fleas." "Fox." "Where have you been for the last three hours?" "If I were you, and I thank my personal god I'm not," "I wouldn't be chin-wagging." "Plenty of six-figure names in that zip code file to cold call." "Aagh!" "Got tickets for the Knick game." "Cruise some chicks afterwards, what do you say?" "I've got charts to read." "Come on." "Forget charts." "We're not fund managers." "Churn them and burn them." "I'm offering the Knicks and chicks." "God help you before you turn in to poor Steeples there." "Preferably Lou Mannheim." "Nice guy, swell fella, but he's a loser." "He lost all his equity in the '71 recession." "You want to be pitching in your late 60s?" "Whatever happened to that cute analyst," "Sidney, Susan?" "Cindy." "Sex with her was like reading The Wall StreetJournal." "She had a heartbeat." "I've got to get to work." "Zs today." "Call for you, Buddy!" "Pick up two." "Bud Fox." "All right, Bud Fox," "I want you to buy 20,000 shares of Bluestar at 151/8th... 3/8ths tops, and don't screw it up, sport." "Think you can handle that?" "Yes, sir." "Thank you, sir." "You won't regret this." "Wooo!" "Marv, I just bagged the elephant!" "Gekko." "Hiya, sport." "Nice to see you again, Mr. Gekko." "Try the steak tartare." "Louis will make it for you." "Anything to drink?" "Just an Evian, please." "Hey!" "See this?" "Can you believe it, a 2-inch screen?" "I can hardly see it." "It's for my kid Rudy." "3 years old, he's an electronics freak." "We're going to a new age, pal." "Check." "So how's business today?" "Great." "Bluestar was at 171/4 when I left the office." "Might hit 18 by the bell." "Teldar's shooting up." "Buy any for yourself?" "I bet you did as soon as you left." "No, sir, that wouldn't have been legal." "Sure." "Relax, pal, no one's going to blow the whistle on you." "Is that legal?" "Put that in my account." "Hey, Gordon." "Georgie, the cellular king, how you been?" "It's nice to see you." "Oh, Gordon, you look wonderful." "You're looking very well yourself." "And Mr. Davis." "Can I get the check here, please, for Christ's sakes!" "Cover that Bluestar buy." "Put a couple hundred thou on those bow-wow stocks you mentioned." "Use a stop loss so your downside is 100 thou, and buy a decent suit." "You can't come in here looking like this." "Go to Morty Sills." "Tell him I sent you." "Yes, sir." "Thank you for the chance." "You're with a winner." "Right, right." "Put the rest in a mutual fund." "I want to see how you do before investing it." "Save the cheap salesman talk." "Excuse me, sir?" "You heard me." "I don't like losses, sport." "Nothing ruins my day more than losses." "You do good, you get perks," "Lots and lots of perks." "Louis." "Yes, sir." "Take care of my friend." "Have a good lunch, Buddy." "Hi, Richard." "How are you?" "Congratulations." "Hi, Bud." "Hi." "I'm Lisa... a friend of Gordon's." "Lisa?" "Gordon?" "Oh, oh, Mr. Gekko, sure." "Uh, would you like to come in?" "Didn't he tell you?" "Oh, that's so like Gordon." "Why don't you get dressed?" "We're going out." "We are?" "Mmm." "Let me see." "So, where are we going?" "Wherever you like." "Lutece, 21, the River Cafe... or maybe we could just drive around for a while... work up an appetite." "Want some?" "Sure." "Gordon tells me that you're a very talented broker." "What do you like?" "Like?" "Well..." "This guy who should know tells me to buy Hewlett-Packard, but I've been burned on tips." "Um, Hewlett, well, let's see... it closed at 411/4, up 1/8." "Very attractive." "Uh-huh." "About average yield." "Very attractive." "Mmm." "Rising profits, strong balance sheet." "You're hot on this stock." "Uh... it's ready to take off." "I'd jump all over it if I were you." "Good morning, Carolyn." "Morning, Buddy." "You look happy." "Any better and I'd be guilty." "You were never that innocent." "How do you know?" "You wish." "Taken in again" "Again, again" "Taken in again" "Well, no, no, no, no" "We can ask the government" "Not the people" "Taken in again" "Again, again" "Taken in again" "I mean, what... what are you going to do?" "America is waiting for a message" "Of some sort or another..." "God damn!" "We went down the toilet on that ugly bitch." "Buddy!" "Mr. Gekko's looking for you." "Be at the Wyatt Club Courts at 6:00." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Come on, sport." "You've got to try harder." "You need exercise, for christ's sake." "I don't think I can go on, Mr. Gekko." "Let's go, Buddy, push yourself." "Finish the game." "Very nice club, Mr. Gekko." "Yeah." "Not bad for a City College boy." "I bought my way in." "Now all these Ivy League schmucks are sucking my kneecaps." "I just got on the board of the Bronx Zoo." "It cost me a mill." "That's the thing you've got to remember about wasps... they love animals, they can't stand people." "Uh..." "Mr. Gekko, we took a little loss today." "We got stopped out on Tarafly, about 100 grand." "I guess your dad's not a union representative of that company, huh?" "How do you know about my father?" "The most valuable commodity I know of is information." "Wouldn't you agree?" "Yeah." "The public's out there throwing darts at a board." "I don't throw darts at a board." "I bet on sure things." "Read Sun Tzu, The Art of War..." ""Every battle is won before it's ever fought."" "Think about it." "You're not as smart as I thought, Buddy boy." "You wonder why fund managers can't beat the S P 500?" "Because they're sheep, and sheep get slaughtered." "I've been in this business since '69." "These Harvard types don't add up to dogshit." "Give me guys that are poor, smart, and hungry, and no feelings." "You lose a few, but you keep fighting, and if you need a friend, get a dog." "It's trench warfare out there, pal." "Hey, Georgie." "Hey, Gordon." "How's Larchmont treating you?" "Fine." "How's the Praxer deal going?" "You should know, pal." "Asshole." "And inside here, too." "I've got 20 other brokers analyzing charts, pal." "I don't need another one." "See you around, Buddy." "I am not just another broker, Mr. Gekko." "If you give me another chance," "I'll prove that to you." "I'll go the extra mile." "You want another chance?" "Fucking A!" "You stop sending me information, and you start getting me some." "Get dressed." "I'll show you my charts." "You know the name?" "Of course." "Larry Wildman, one of the first raiders." "Like all Brits, thinks he was born with a better piss pot." "Bribed an old secretary of mine, stole RDL Pharmaceuticals right from under me." "Wildman, the white knight." "I remember that." "You were involved?" "Payback time, sport." "You see that building?" "I bought that building 10 years ago, my first real estate deal." "Sold it two years later, made an $800,000 profit." "It was better than sex." "At that time," "I thought that was all the money in the world." "Now it's a day's pay." "Anyway, I had a mole in Wildman's operation." "He gave me half the picture, then got fired." "I don't follow." "Wildman's in town." "He became an American citizen." "Something big is going down." "I want to know where he goes, what he sees." "I want you to fill out the picture." "Ah, Mr. Gekko, it's not what I do." "I could lose my license." "If the SEC found out," "I could go to jail." "That's inside information." "You mean like when a father tells a son about a court ruling on an airline, or someone overhears that I'm buying Teldar Paper and buys some for himself, or the chairman of the board of XYZ decides it's time to blow out XYZ?" "Is that what you mean?" "I'm afraid, pal, unless your father's on the board of another company, you and I are going to have a tough time doing business together." "What about hard work?" "What about it?" "You stayed up all night analyzing that dogshit stock you gave me." "My father worked like an elephant until he died at 49." "Wake up, will you, pal?" "If you're not inside, you are outside, O.K.?" "And I'm not talking about some $400,000-a-year working Wall Street stiff flying first class and being comfortable," "I'm talking about liquid." "Rich enough to have your own jet," "Rich enough not to waste time." "50, 100 million dollars, Buddy." "A player... or nothing." "Now, you had what it took to get in my office." "The real question is whether you got what it takes to stay." "Look at that." "Are you going to tell me the difference between this guy and that guy is luck?" "Mohammed, pull over, will you?" "I'll drop you off here." "I'm late." "Buddy, it's been nice meeting you, O.K.?" "All right, Mr. Gekko, you got me." "Excuse me, please." "Excuse us." "Excuse me." "How wonderful to see you." "Do you have a reservation?" "Table for one." "Reservations only." "We're booked for a week." "All right." "Don't touch." "Everything ready, sir." "Excuse me!" "Mr. Wildman on board that plane?" "Yeah." "Shit!" "My boss is going to kill me." "I was supposed to give him this." "Where's he going?" "Erie, Pennsylvania." "Thank you." "After spending the morning at Kahn, Seidelman, the junk bond department where Shane Mora works, he had lunch at Les Circus with a group of bean counters." "He stopped off at Morgan." "I'd say from all the sweet smiling that Larry got himself some nice fat financing." "Bright, but not bright enough." "Let's roll the dice and play some monopoly." "Where will Larry land in Erie, Pennsylvania?" "Jesus Christ!" "He's buying Anacott Steel." "When the market opens tomorrow," "I want you to buy 1,500 july 50 calls." "You hear me?" "1,500, yes, sir." "Start buying 1,000-share blocks." "Take it up to $50." "When it reaches 50, give a taste to your friends," "Then call The Wall Street Chronicle, extension 1605." "Tell the man," ""Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel."" "You got that?" "The Wall Street Chronicle." "Congratulations, Buddy, you scored." "Talk at you." "All right." "Start buying Anacott Steel across the board." "Use the offshore accounts... and keep it quiet." "15,000 General Foods..." "Frank, 10,000 ANC at 46." "Let me know how the options open, O.K.?" "Thank you." "Jack, sign them!" "How..." "How is Anacott Steel?" "53/46th, 2,000 up." "6 for 10,000." "I'll sell you 2,000." "2,000 Anacott." "That's not what I said." "I said 20,000 shares." "Anacott priced at six." "What do you..." "And a quarter, 8,0001/4." "I'll take it." "What do you want?" "Yeah, I know how it is." "This is what I'm saying, we have important financial news, Mr. Earlich, that happens to concern your future." "You could benefit..." "What the hell's going on?" "Anacott Steel, put your best customers in it." "Lou, I got a sure thing..." "Anacott Steel." "No such thing, except death and taxes." "Not a good company anymore, no fundamentals." "What's going on, Bud." "You know something?" "Remember, there are no short cuts, son." "Quick-buck artists come and go with every bull market." "The steady players make it through the bear markets." "You're a part of something here." "The money you make for people creates science and research jobs." "You're right, Lou, but you've got to reach the big time, then you can do good things." "You can't get a little pregnant." "It's a winner." "Buy it." "Then we'll kamikaze over to Nell's and chase some cotton underwear." "I know this bimbette that's gorgeous." "Hold on." "Play some tennis saturday?" "I'm going fishing in Canada, really big client." "Take Anacott." "Light snack, but good." "Sharking your way up." "My dear, you've got to diversify." "I've got a sure thing..." "Anacott Steel." "I just heard the most lovely two words." "Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel." "Anacott Steel?" "Right." "Looks like Anacott Steel's the play." "Check the arbs." "Looks like it's being accumulated." "We've got to position it." "Yeah, Lou, Anacott, high buy." "Yeah." "Take it and bid it." "If I'm right, eighths and quarters won't matter." "This is really special..." "Anacott." "Make the tape." "Bet the ranch." "Buy 100,000 shares." "Wildman's..." "It's on zoom." "If it hits 75, we could clean 24 mill." "First lesson..." "Don't get emotional about stock, clouds the judgment." "... which closed at 511/8, up 51/8 from yesterday's close on heavy trading." "Can I help you?" "I'm Bud Fox." "I have some papers for Mr. Gekko." "Come in." "Thank you." "I'm sorry about this, Mr. Gekko." "It's all right." "It's O.K." "All right." "You want to wait here?" "Problems?" "There's no problem." "Bud Fox, my wife Kate." "A pleasure." "You came from the city?" "Yes, ma'am." "Long drive." "You want a drink?" "Yeah, you want a drink?" "If you'd rather not..." "Have a drink, meet everyone." "It's a good idea." "That's Sam Ruspoli, Carmen Winters, Stone Livingston." "This is Bud Fox." "His illustrious wife Muffie," "Candice Rogers, Dick Brady," "Darien Taylor, all old friends." "Hi." "Hello." "Great idea, Gordon." "Good help is hard to find," "But can he create a dry vodka martini?" "Doesn't talk back, doesn't steal silverware, and Dick's getting me an exemption." "Dick." "I'm in St. Kitt's with this new Kamali leopard-skin bikini, which is going to turn back the clock on my marriage, you know what I mean?" "Call for you, sir." "Sir Lawrence Wildman." "He says it's important." "Thank you, Nyun." "Fix Mr. Livingston another martini." "This could be fun." "...all because this Ukrainian bitch botched the job on my wax." "Oh, how ghastly!" "You should sue." "Larry, what a surprise." "I want to see you." "Can it wait?" "I've got some people over." "This can't wait." "If you feel that way, come on over." "Listen, can I steal him for a minute?" "Of course." "I want your opinion." "So, what do you see in this?" "Purity, innocence..." "A few thousand dollars down the tubes if you ask me." "Really?" "Well, I guess you can kiss your career as an art appraiser goodbye." "We paid over 400,000 for it." "You could have had a whole beach house." "Sure you could, in Wildwood, New Jersey." "If you sold this one, you could have a pretty nice penthouse on 5th, but you wouldn't have much left for decoration." "It's nice if you're on mushrooms." "Boy, I thought Gordon was a real tough businessman." "He's really taken a bath on that." "I'd say Gordon is one of the most astute collectors around." "He has a great eye and only buys the best." "Like this rug, a Boccaro, the finest of its kind." "The day after he bought it, the Saudi royal family offered twice what he paid." "It absolutely makes the room." "This celadon is picked up by these cushions on the sofa." "That Etruscan vase on the coffee table is sacrilegious." "Someone might use it as an ashtray." "I guess you're a decorator?" "You got it." "Great spender of other people's money." "Well, if you're that good, you could do wonders with my place." "Where is that?" "Upper West Side." "Home of the exposed brick wall and the house plant?" "It's a rental." "I'm moving to the East Side soon." "Couple of deals brewing with Gordon." "What about real things, like dinner, the two of us, next Friday," "Cafe Santa Domingo?" "What if I have a previous engagement?" "You break it." "There you go again, Darien, talking with strange men." "Sam, do you know Bud Fox?" "Sam's in banking." "Works for Gordon." "Nice meeting you." "Are you staying for dinner?" "No." "I've got to work." "Ah, the bell." "Excuse me." "Call me next week for an estimate." "Larry, how have you been?" "Just fine." "Traveling actually." "Yes?" "Can I get you a drink?" "Larry!" "Excuse me." "Sir Larry." "How are you?" "God damn, you look great." "Gordon." "So you want to talk?" "I'll be heading back, Mr. Gekko." "Stick around." "This is Bud Fox." "Should we go upstairs?" "Yeah." "The rarest pistol in the world, Larry," "A.45 Luger." "Only six of them were ever manufactured." "Congratulations." "Rarer still is your interest in Anacott Steel." "My interest is the same as yours, Larry... money." "It's a good investment for my kid." "I'm in for the long term." "It's not a liquidation." "I'm going to turn it around." "You're getting a free ride." "With the dollars you're costing me to buy the stock," "I could modernize the plant." "I'm not the only one who pays here." "We're talking about lives and jobs, generations of steelworkers." "Correct me if I'm wrong." "When you acquired CNX Electronics, you laid off 6,000 workers." "Jemson Fruit, 4,000." "That airline you bought, um..." "I could break you, mate, in two pieces over my knees." "We both know it." "I could buy you six times over." "I could dump the stock just to burn your ass, but I want the company, and I want your block of shares." "I'm announcing a tender offer at 65 tomorrow." "I'm expecting your commitment." "Showdowns bore me, Larry." "Nobody wins." "You can have the company." "In fact, it's going to be fun watching you and your giant ego try to make a horse race of it." "Buddy, what's a fair price?" "The breakup value is higher." "It's worth 80." "We don't want to be greedy." "What do you say to 72?" "You're a two-bit pirate and greenmailer, nothing more..." "Gekko." "Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." "My mail is the same color as yours is, pal, or at least it was until the queen started to call you "Sir."" "Now, you'll excuse me before I lose my temper." "71." "Well, now, considering you brought my mother into it, 71.50." "Done." "You'll hear from my lawyers tomorrow, 8 A.M." "Good night." "I had to sell." "The key is capital reserves." "You don't have enough, you can't piss with the big dogs." ""All warfare's based on deception."" "Sun Tzu." ""If your enemy is superior, evade him, if angry, irritate him, if equally matched, fight, and if not, split and reevaluate."" "Yeah, hey, hey, he's learning, huh?" "Buddy's learning." "Yeah." "Money never sleeps, pal." "Just made 800,000 Hong Kong gold." "It's been wired to you." "Play with it." "You done good, but you've got to keep doing good." "I showed you the game, now school's out." "Mr. Gekko, I'm there for you 110%." "No, no, no, you don't understand." "I want to be surprised." "Astonish me, pal." "New info." "I don't care where or how you get it, just get it." "My, uh, wife tells me you made a move on Darien." "Well, here's some inside info for you." "That euroflash GQ type she's going out with has got big bucks, but he's putting her feet to sleep." "Exit visas are imminent, so I don't want you losing your place in line." "Ah, Jesus..." "I wish you could see this." "Light's coming up." "I've never seen a painting that captures the beauty of the ocean at a moment like this." "I'm going to make you rich, Bud Fox." "Yeah, rich enough you can afford a girl like Darien." "This is your wake-up call, pal." "Go to work." "Fox." "Mr. Barnes." "Buddy, is this deja vu?" "What's it been, a year and a half?" "So, I hear you're moving up in the world." "Senior associate." "Not bad." "How's Margie?" "We got a house in Oyster Bay, you know." "Market treating you good?" "Still seeing that sexy French chick?" "No, no." "She asked the wrong question..." ""What are you thinking?"" "The hours are hell, but the cash is tumbling in." "I know someone who knows an ironclad way of making money." "I can't get hurt." "Can't get hurt?" "Does he have a tip for honest lawyers?" "Maybe... check out Teldar Paper, but don't quote me." "What about you?" "I hear you're handling the Fairchild Foods merger." "Any surprises I haven't read about in The Wall StreetJournal?" "Buddy, that's illegal." "I could get disbarred." "Well, who's listening?" "Just one college buddy talking to another." "Yeah, right." "Oh, relax, Roger." "Everybody's doing it, but if you don't know, then..." "you don't know." "And if I did, what's in it for moi?" "More money than you ever dreamed of." "Nobody gets hurt." "You think about it." "Let's grab a beer." "What do you say?" "No." "Too much to do, but I'll walk you out." "File's on the desk, Marie." "Get inside my uncle's door, Bud, all the secrets of the world are yours." "The lifeblood of companies." "Of course, you've got to go to law school first." "I've been charting the growth of office space." "You're in the right business at the right time." "I already know that." "I'm very impressed with your work in this growing business." "Does working capital and a partner interest you?" "Why do I need a partner?" "You need vans, your employees can't cover all your buildings, not to mention the clients we could have together." "I'm an expert at identifying undervalued assets such as this business." "Well, the good news, Gordon, is Roarker Electronics." "I see it happening in the next few months." "You're kidding!" "Their quarterlies are for shit." "I've got something for you." "Let me see." "Gordon will be very pleased." "What else have you got?" "Let's get a pizza, man." "You know Marty Windman?" "He netted 650G off that merger." "The guy's an asshole." "He's a Rambo." "He's got himself a Porsche Cabriolet." "If I make a bundle of cash before I'm 30 and get out of this racket," "I can ride my motorcycle across China." "I'd like to do for furniture what Laura Ashley did for fabrics... produce high-quality antiques at a low price." "Sounds great." "I'll take you public." "You will?" "Can I help you?" "Oh, excuse me." "Is this Bill Bates' office?" "No." "I'm sorry." "Hiya, dad." "What brings you out here?" "A client..." "and a private jet." "Hey, Buddy, how you doing?" "Mr. Wall Street." "It's the bozos that keep us in the air." "Give us a hand." "Change the oil and park it out back." "This kid want to buy the plane?" "How come you light up when you see me?" "Don't start." "Who peed in your Cheerios?" "The fare wars are killing us." "Management's laying off five of my men." "There's nothing I can do." "What's with you?" "How much you need?" "Nothing." "I'm doing great." "Things are starting to happen." "Many guys at the track talk like that." "How do you know you'll have dough next month?" "What is this?" "I gave you a few hundred!" "It's dividend." "I've borrowed at least five grand in pocket change." "Put this toward your school loan." "Look, things are good, and it's going to stay that way." "Buy yourself a new suit." "Why do I need a suit?" "I don't hobnob with the jet set." "Get a bowling jacket so you don't look like the Roto-Rooter man." "What's money for?" "Enjoy yourself." "Money's a pain in the ass." "How about dinner?" "Sure." "Any night this week." "O. K..." "No, I'm sorry, this week's booked." "I'll get back to you." "You know where to find me." "I got to run, Dad." "Stop smoking." "Oh!" "Oh, oh, oh!" "Ohh!" "Aah!" "It's in both our interests to put a safe distance between you and us." "Now, you understand that, Mr. Fox?" "Sure." "This gives you limited power of attorney for Mr. Gekko's account." "Every ticket you buy must be marked "power of attorney."" "You call the shots." "Mr. Gekko has no knowledge of what stocks you're buying." "Sign it." "I never knew how poor I was till I started making some money." "Your transactions will be monitored by stockwatch." "If any trouble arises, you're on your own." "The trail does stop with you." "You understand?" "Spread the buy orders over different accounts." "I have some friends that won't mind making easy money." "Rudy kazootee!" "How's my cutie?" "Viens ici." "Oh, yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Bonjour, monsieur Buddy." "Bonjour, monsieur Buddy." "Oh, he speaks French already." "Kid had the highest score on his I. Q test." "It's so difficult to get into a good nursery school now." "They visit your home to make sure you're acceptable." "That's it for you with the grown-ups, young man." "Nicole, would you take him for a nap, please." "Give him a bath, and put that cute black suit on him." "This is a contact at our offshore bank." "On settlement day, open an account for Mr. Gekko under the name Geneva, Roth Holding Corp." "Transfer it to this account in the Cayman Islands." "You're going to make a lot of money, pal." "The stakes are going up." "No mistakes." "Piece of cake, Gordon." "If I could have anything..." "this would almost do." "Almost." "So how'd your conference go with Gordon?" "It went fine." "Reached an agreement." "We decided to split up the world between us." "You have modest wants." "I like that in a man." "What do you want?" "Let's see... a Turner, a perfect canary diamond, world peace, the best of everything." "Oh, why stop at that?" "I don't." "My client wants to buy some Teldar." "I'll park money in your account." "If it hits, you get a big cut." "I'm telling you, this is the easiest money you've ever made." "All right, Bud." "Let's do it." "We go way back, Harry." "I've put a lot of money into this firm, and I've brought in a lot of business." "You've taken enough out, too." "You should have something put aside." "I don't with the divorce." "When you fire me, I'm finished, Harry, finished on the street." "How do you think I feel about this?" "I've got a lot of responsibilities." "What's going on?" "Lynch is giving him the boot." "Not pulling his quota." "We're all just one trade away from humility, Bud." "A conference call on defense stock in my office, 7 A.M. Tomorrow." "No R.S. V.P. Required, just be there!" "On a more inspiring note," "I'm pleased to announce the new office record for single month's gross commission from the wealthy individual accounts goes to Bud Fox." "Shows cold-calling does work, fellas." "Way to go, Bud." "Superjob!" "Come on up here." "Congrats." "You just made my life twice as hard." "You're on a roll, kid." "Enjoy it while it lasts because it never does." "Just kicking ass and taking names, Lou." "Come along with me, Bud." "This is yours now, Bud." "Credenza, tree, windows, and significantly more attractive, your private secretary Janet." "Nice to meet you, Mr. Fox." "Hello, Janet." "Well, I don't really know what to say." "Thank you, Mr. Lynch." "No, I thank you, Bud." "When I laid eyes on you," "I knew you had it." "Now you can focus on the big ticket retail." "Oh, this is very nice." "This is very nice." "So what's it, Mr. Cocksucker now?" "Everybody says they hate the Upper East Side," "They want to live on the West Side." "When it's resale time, the East Side moves." "What do you got on the West Side?" "Sean and Madonna?" "Trust me." "Massage sauna, jacuzzi, tanning salon... best schools in the city." "You know, a cute young boy like you got to think of a future lady friend in your life when you finish wolfing around." "Of course, I'm taken." "My husband could get you a 10% mortgage." "I'd do it myself, except I'm into four other deals." "I got a 4:00 and a 5:00." "One of them's an all-cash type," "Monique something or other." "Maybe you'd like to see something cheaper." "Honey, the meter's running." "Anybody home?" "All right, offer 950." "You know, I got something over on Sutton Place." "It's a million and a half, a duplex." "No." "This is it." "This is home." "That's enough gold." "That's enough gold over there." "Home" "It's where I want to be" "Pick me up and turn me 'round" "I feel numb" "Born with a weak heart" "Guess I must be having fun" "The less we say about it the better" "You like it?" "Make it up as we go along" "I'm having House and Garden come up next week to photograph it before it gets lived in." "I know nothing's wrong" "Hey, Gary," "What do you got?" "Oh, no. 371/2." "Convert the bonds and check the price from Tokyo at 8:00 your time." "Right." "Ohh" "You got light in your eyes" "And you are standing here beside me" "Mmm." "I love the passing of time" "Ugh." "Ahh!" "Never for money" "Always for love" "Cover up and say good night" "I'm spilling everything." "Isn't it perfect?" "It's too perfect." "Let's not even eat." "Let's just watch it, think about it." "Who am I?" "Bud, come to bed." "$1.6 million, $1.7 million." "On my left now." "$1.8 million." "$1.9 million." "New bidder this side." "$1.9." "$2 million here now." "Not yours." "At $2.1 million." "$2.1 million." "Fair warning then." "Selling for $2.1 million." "All done." "For you, sir." "$2.1 million." "What do you say we get a suite at the Carlyle?" "Champagne, caviar, celebrate just like old times." "Come on, Gordon." "Those days are over." "You can't blame me for trying." "You're as beautiful as that painting I just bought." "Sunshine, what's wrong?" "You got a bad case of puppy love?" "I think I'm falling for Bud." "Don't fall too far." "He hasn't been around the block yet." "You told him about us?" "No." "Are you crazy?" "I don't want him to ever know." "Do you understand?" "Mum's the word." "You and I are the same, Darien." "We're smart enough not to buy into the oldest myth running..." "love." "A fiction created by people to keep them from jumping out of windows." "Sometimes I miss you, Gordon." "You're really twisted." "Oh, for Christ's Sake, Jack, it's easy." "On settlement day, you endorse a check to Blue Horseshoe trading company, then I'll send you your cut." "No, that's the bottom line." "Nobody gets hurt." "What the fuck's wrong with you?" "Things are bad around here." "You're making big money." "What's the bottom line?" "Hey, look!" "I'm sick and tired of playing wet nurse to you!" "Do your own homework, Marv." "What an asshole, man!" "That's a shame." "Frank, work 500,000 Teldar shares, limit of 26." "New account." "Don't fuck it up." "Last name." "How's Teldar doing?" "You back again?" "The guy's got a real appetite." "About a couple of thousand up." "I got to buy some stocks." "What are we looking at?" "What are you offering me?" "80,000 trades at a half." "Put it on the tape, a few thousand up." "Your company, ladies and gentlemen," "Your company, ladies and gentlemen, is under siege from Gordon Gekko!" "Teldar Paper is now leveraged to the hilt like some piss-poor South American country." "I strongly recommend you to see through Mr. Gekko's shameless intention here to strip this company and severely penalize the stockholders!" "I strongly recommend you to reject his tender by voting for management's restructuring of the stock." "My thanks." "Well, I appreciate the opportunity you're giving me, Mr. Cromwell, as the single largest shareholder in Teldar Paper, to speak." "Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're not here to indulge in fantasy, but in political and economic reality." "America..." "America has become a second-rate power." "Its trade deficit and its fiscal deficit are at nightmare proportions." "Now, in the days of the free market, when we were a top industrial power, there was accountability to the stockholder." "The Carnegies, the Mellons, the men that built this empire, did it because it was their money at stake." "Today, management has no stake in the company!" "Altogether, these men sitting up here own less than 3% of the company." "Where does Mr. Cromwell put his million-dollar salary?" "Not in Teldar Stock." "He owns less than 1%." "You own the company." "That's right." "You, the stockholder." "You are all being royally screwed over by these..." "these bureaucrats with their steak luncheons, hunting and fishing trips, their corporate jets, and golden parachutes." "This is an outrage!" "You're out of line, Gekko!" "Teldar Paper, Mr. Cromwell," "Teldar Paper has 33 different vice presidents, each earning over $200,000 a year." "Now I've spent the last two months analyzing what these guys do." "I still can't figure it out." "One thing I do know is that our paper company lost $110 million last year." "I'll bet half of that was spent in the paperwork going back and forth between these vice presidents." "The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the unfittest." "Well, in my book, you either do it right or you get eliminated." "In the last seven deals that I've been involved with, there were 2.5 million stockholders who have made a pretax profit of $12 billion." "Thank you." "I am not a destroyer of companies." "I am a liberator of them!" "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good." "Greed is right." "Greed works." "Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit." "Greed, in all of its forms... greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge... has marked the upward surge of mankind, and greed..." "you mark my words... will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A." "Thank you very much." "Great!" "Fly me to the moon" "Let me play among the stars" "Thank you." "Buy me 20 june eurodollar CDs, 20 march gold, and sell 10 september deutschmarks." "Right." "Talk at you, babe." "Aww!" "Buddy!" "Buddy!" "I hate to tell you this, but you are a genius!" "Darien, lightning has struck." "The light bulb has been invented." "Bluestar!" "Edison, Da Vinci, Einstein, they're watching me." "Have you heard of the 60-hour work week?" "You've got to go to work soon, and I'm getting psychotic from lack of REM sleep." "You think I'm going to broker forever?" "I'll be a giant, an entrepreneur" "In the Italian 16th-century sense of the word." "I'm shooting for the stars." "You're coming along for the ride." "Bluestar's an unpolished gem, Gordon, right out of the garbage." "A half-assed management being decimated by a price war they cannot win." "The gates at La Guardia can bail us out." "If it's worth a dime, it's worth $10 a share!" "Mixed emotions, Buddy, like Larry Wildman going off a cliff in my new Maserati." "Hey, guys like me have had their asses hung with the airlines." "Fuel could go up, unions are killers." "Aren't you forgetting one thing?" "Capital reserves." "This company has $75 million in an overfunded pension." "That buys us some credibility." "The beauty is you own close to 2%." "The insurance people are balking on the logging trucks." "What do you want to do?" "We'll self-insure if they don't write it." "I can't believe it!" "You fire half the management and nothing changes!" "Gordon... what I want... and I've never asked you for anything... is to be your copilot on this one." "I want to take this airline, turn it around, and make it work." "I got a stockbroker that wants to run an airline." "It'll take me 2 years and 2,000 headaches to turn Teldar Paper around." "I'm up to my ass in nuts." "I've worked at Bluestar, Gordon." "I have friends there, inside." "What do you mean?" "The three unions." "It's 43% of Bluestar's operating budget." "The hourly cost of a flight crew is $850 an hour." "That's the real hidden value." "If you negotiate that out, get a crew down to $350 an hour, this will be the hottest thing since Texas Air." "What makes you think you can?" "I can talk to these people." "They trust me." "My father could be a help in getting cuts." "All right..." "Susan, get Buckingham on the phone." "Tell him to look into it." "So the falcon's heard the falconer, huh?" "Hi, Dad." "Hello, son." "Sorry I'm late." "It's O.K. Overdressed as usual." "Well, come on in." "Everybody's here." "We couldn't start the show without you." "Well, I'll be a lousy Republican." "I decorate for Democrats, too, lots of them." "I'm Darien Taylor." "Hi." "Bud's told me about you." "I never beat him or locked him in a closet." "I think he turned out O.K." "Bud's a born liar, otherwise a good kid." "I hope you come more often." "Thank you." "Dad, you know Duncan Wilmore." "Since before you were born." "Toni Carpenter, flight attendants." "How are you?" "And I'd like you to meet Mr. Gekko." "Mr. Fox." "His attorney, Mr. Saul." "I'd be proud to have a son like Buddy." "I thought this was an informal gathering." "What's your attorney doing here?" "Harold, you don't mind walking around the block a couple of hundred times, do you?" "No offense." "None taken." "Oh, that's O.K., Gordon." "Bud does it all the time." "Look, I got no illusions about winning a popularity contest with any of you." "I got roasted the other night." "A friend of mine asked, "why are we honoring this man?" "Have we run out of human beings?"" "It's not the popular guy who gets the job done." "You got losses of $20 to $30 million, dividends cut to zero, and you're being squeezed to death by the majors." "Present management may not be the worst scum, but they're the guys that put you on this course." "Pretty soon, everybody will be scrambling for parachutes, only there's not enough to go around." "Management has them." "You don't." "Now, if they throw Bluestar to Chapter 11, which I think they will, then they'll use bankruptcy laws to break your unions, your contracts, and throw you guys off the property." "What's to prevent you from doing the same damn thing?" "Because I got a way around all of this, a way we can make money and make the airline profitable." "What do you say we cut to the chase?" "I'm asking for a 20% across-the-board wage cut and seven more hours a month." "What kind of time frame?" "Give me a year." "If we're still losing money, the reduction stands." "If we're in the black, salaries go back to their present level, and we initiate an employee profit-sharing program with stock." "You can own part of the airline." "Can you put that in writing?" "I'll have it drafted in two days." "How will you return to profitability?" "Why don't I give Buddy an opportunity to answer that?" "Thank you, Gordon." "First of all, I want you all to know my door will always be open to you because I know from my dad that you keep Bluestar flying." "This is a basic three-point plan." "One... we modernize." "Our computer software is dogshit." "We update it." "We squeeze every dollar out of each seat and mile flown." "Effective inventory management through computerization will increase our load factor by 5 to 20%." "That translates to approximately" "$50 to $200 million in revenues." "We can beat the majors at a price war." "Two... advertising, very important, more, more, and aggressive." "We attack the majors!" "Three... expand our hubs to Atlanta and St. Louis." "We reorganize all of our feeder schedules." "We got to think big, guys." "We're going after the majors." "Cards on the table, guys." "What do you say?" "If you mean what you say," "I think we're in the ballpark." "I can take it to my people." "You've sketched some broad strokes." "I would like to see the fine print, but I like what I hear so far." "I guess if a man lives long enough, he gets to see everything." "What else you got in your bag of tricks?" "Frankly, Carl, I can't see giving much more, but if you have any suggestions," "I'll be very happy to listen." ""There came into egypt a pharaoh who did not know."" "Is that a proverb?" "No." "A prophecy." "The rich been doing it to the poor since the beginning." "The difference between the pyramids and the Empire State Building is the Egyptians didn't allow unions." "He don't give a damn about Bluestar or the unions." "Wait a minute." "What's worth doing is worth doing for money." "It's a bad bargain if nobody gains." "And if we do this deal, everybody gains." "'Course, my son did work as a baggage handler." "Why should we doubt his ability to run an airline?" "Fine." "Stay with the scum in present management dedicated to running you into the ground." "That scum built the company up with 1 plane in 30 years." "They made something out of nothing." "If that's a scum, I'll take it over a rat any day." "Excuse me." "Well, congratulations, Dad." "You just did a great job of embarrassing me in there!" "Save the workers of the world unite speech!" "I heard it too much growing up!" "You and the airline are going down the tubes!" "If it isn't Gekko, it'll be some other killer!" "He's using you, kid." "He's got your prick in his back pocket, but you're too blind to see it." "I see a jealous machinist who can't stand the fact that his son's successful!" "What you see is a guy who never measured a man's success by the size of his wallet!" "That's because you never had the guts to go out into the world and stake your own claim!" "Boy, if that's the way you feel," "I must have done a really lousy job as a father." "As far as being axed, I'm still around." "I have a responsibility to the union membership I represent." "Your responsibility is to present the facts, not your opinions." "You're going to destroy their lives." "When my men come to me tomorrow morning," "I'll be damned if I'm going to lie to them!" "Your fucking men!" "All my life, your men have been able to count on you!" "Why is it that you've never been there for me?" "What if you're wrong, if for once your compass was off?" "Would you want to wreck your men's future?" "Think for a change!" "Be practical!" "I'm asking you, I'm fucking begging you." "I don't sleep with no whore, and I don't wake up with no whore." "That's how I live with myself." "I don't know how you do it." "I hope I'm wrong about this guy, but I'll let the men decide for themselves." "Think you should have a look at this, Chief." "A guy atJackson-Steinem's buying large chunks ofTeldar Paper for an offshore account." "Come on in." "So... what's the problema?" "Do you know what the fuck the problem is?" "What?" "You don't know?" "No." "I get a strange call from the SEC." "They asked to see my records." "This is heavy, Bud..." "Relax, Roget." "You're 82M in the account numbers, and I'm the invisible man." "That's good for you, Bud." "They're always looking for red flags." "Gekko's always getting checked by them." "They never come up with anything, Rog." "Hey... we're invulnerable on this one." "I just want to slow down, Bud, all right?" "No more lunches, no calls, all right?" "We suspend our business, all right?" "Whatever you want, Rog." "It's cool." "Excuse me." "Hey, Rog." "Come back in." "Bring the cost report." "They're starting again." "Gekko's asked us into the Bluestar deal." "We're reviewing timetables." "You want to come?" "He didn't tell me about that." "You're only the president of the company." "What the hell do you know, anyway?" "Guys, new chief of Bluestar, Bud Fox." "Yeah, hi." "Look, guys, what's the problem?" "It's time to kill." "Gekko's got 12% of the stock and climbing." "He's got the unions in his back pocket." "Everybody knows the stock's in play." "By next week, the street's going to own Bluestar." "Is the bank financing in place, or will we have more ridiculous meetings?" "Our firm committed weeks ago 25% of the total long-term debt structure, and unless you guys sign this paper now," "I'm going to pull and go to another bank for the 75." "And go to another bank for the 75." "We've got 30 banks ready to participate in a four-year revolving credit line, but we must have your assurance you will pay back most of the loan in 12 months." "The only way we can see this happening is liquidating the hangars and the planes." "Can you people guarantee the liquidation of Bluestar?" "No sweat!" "We got the Bleezburg brothers ready to build condos where the hangars are." "The Mexicans are dumb enough to buy the airplanes." "I got Texas boys drooling at my kneecaps for the routes and slots." "What's your problem?" "It's done." "These are the price tags on the 737 s, gates, hangars, routes." "We got it nailed right down to the typewriters." "The beauty of this deal is the overfunded pension." "Gekko makes $75 million there." "50 million buys him the minimum annuities for 6,000 employees, and he walks away with the rest." "I figure he'll make $60, $70 million... not bad for a month's work." "Your boy really did his homework, Fox." "You'll have the shortest executive career since that pope that got poisoned." "Now he'll really start believing he's Gekko the great." "Can you change that appointment?" "Hold this." "He's in a meeting!" "A really ingenious way for us to..." "Didn't know we had a meeting scheduled today, sport." "I didn't, either." "I think we should talk." "Would you gentlemen excuse us for a second, please?" "Come this way, gentlemen." "Thank you, Alex." "What the hell do you want?" "I found out about the garage sale at Bluestar." "Why?" "Last night I was reading Rudy the story of Winnie the Pooh and the honey pot." "He stuck his nose in the pot once too often, and he got stuck." "Maybe you should read him Pinocchio." "You were turning Bluestar around, not upside-down." "You fuckin' used me!" "You're walking around blind without a cane." "A fool and his money are lucky to get together." "Why do you need to wreck this company?" "Because it's wreckable!" "I changed my mind." "If these people lose their jobs, they got nowhere to go." "My father has worked there for 24 years." "I gave him my word!" "It's all about bucks, kid." "The rest is conversation." "Buddy, you'll still be president." "When the time comes, you'll parachute out a rich man." "With the money you'll make, your dad won't have to work anymore." "When does it all end?" "How much is enough?" "It's not a question of enough, pal." "It's a zero sum game." "Somebody wins, somebody loses." "Money itself isn't lost or made, it's simply transferred from one perception to another, like magic." "This painting here," "I bought it 10 years ago for $60,000." "I could sell it today for 600." "The illusion has become real." "The more real it becomes, the more desperate they want it." "Capitalism at its finest." "How much is enough, Gordon?" "The richest 1% of this country owns 1/2 our country's wealth," "$5 trillion." "1/3 of that comes from hard work." "2/3 comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons, and what I do... stock and real estate speculation." "It's bullshit." "You got 90% of the American public out there with little or no net worth." "I create nothing." "I own." "We make the rules, pal." "The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval," "The price of a paper clip." "We pick that rabbit out of that hat while everybody wonders how the hell we did it." "You're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you, Buddy?" "It's the free market." "You're part of it." "Yeah, you got that killer instinct." "Stick around, pal." "I still got a lot to teach you." "Obviously." "I was going to tell you about it, all right?" "We'll have dinner tonight." "You bring Darien." "I can't make it tonight." "Hey, Buddy... are you with me?" "I need to know if you're with me." "I'm with you, Gordon." "Natalie, I'll be right there." "Yeah." "Ollie, tell them I want zip-locked mouths on the Bluestar deal, or I'll personally rip out their fuckin' throats." "Bud." "What's going on?" "I've been played like a grand piano by the master, Gekko the great." "Today was the big crash." "Liquidation sale." "He's going to carve Bluestar into little pieces and sell it all off." "Bastard." "I'm sorry." "I was afraid something like this could happen." "I handed it to him on a silver platter." "I told my father, those people..." "Bud, it's not your fault, and it's not your decision." "I won't let it happen." "Don't cross Gordon." "He'll crush you." "If Gordon doesn't buy Bluestar, someone else will, and who's to say they won't do the same thing?" "At least I won't be pulling the trigger." "Why are you doing this?" "You've worked hard to get where you are." "We're so close." "You don't want to throw it all away." "Look, I can stay with the firm, and you're doing fine." "We can survive without Gordon Gekko." "I'm not looking to just survive." "I've been doing that all my life." "Cut this self-pity crap, Bud." "What the hell's that supposed to mean?" "It means if you make an enemy of Gordon Gekko," "I can't be there to stand by you." "Oh, yeah?" "Do you really mean that?" "What did he promise you?" "Take you public?" "I guess without Gordon's money and seal of approval" "I'm not such a hot investment anymore." "You're just the best money can buy, Darien." "You're not exactly pure, Bud." "You went after Gekko like you went after me." "Look in the mirror..." "I'm looking, and I sure don't like what I see." "Fair enough, but it's not that simple, Bud." "When I was down and had nothing, it was Gordon who helped me." "He got me all my clients, you among them." "He can take them away from me like that." "You may find out one day that when you've had money and lost it, it's worse than never having it at all." "That is bullshit!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "You step out that door, and I am changing the locks!" "You may not believe this, Bud, but I really do care for you." "We would have made a good team." "I'm sorry." "Get the fuck out of here." "The market is dead right now." "Even the rich are bitchin'." "Only thing moving is the termites and cockroaches." "With my commission..." "Save the rap." "Just sell the fucker fast." "There he is." "Where you been the last two days?" "Call my father." "Your father, he's, um..." "He had a heart attack." "He's all right." "He's at St. John's." "Mom, how is he?" "He was complaining about chest pains at work." "Next thing they know, he's collapsed." "You got to talk to him." "He's a tough old nut, your dad." "He's got another 20 years." "Is he conscious?" "Hiya, dad." "You're looking younger every day." "Didn't I tell you never to lift a 747 by yourself?" "You even got me smoking now." "It's your second heart attack, Dad." "You're pushing your luck." "I hope you know that." "I guess I never told you... but I love you, dad." "I love you so much." "I'm sorry about the things I said." "You're the only honest man I know... the best." "I got a plan, dad." "I can save the airline." "You got no reason to believe me, but you have to trust me." "I need to speak to the union members." "Can I speak for you?" "Your words, not mine." "O.K." "Thank you." "I got to go." "I'm proud of you." "Thanks." "The stock's at 191/4, and it's going up." "Gekko figures by breaking up Bluestar, it's worth at least $30 a share." "He'll buy up to 24 and think he's profiting." "How do you know it'll go up?" "I have some friends." "O.K. What happens now?" "When it hits 23, go to Gekko, lower the boom." "When he learns he has no union concessions, he'll sell everything." "What's to prevent some other shark from devouring us?" "We have an appointment to see Mr. Wildman." "Sir Lawrence..." "can I call you Larry?" "What about owning Bluestar Airlines with union concessions at $18 a share, and in the process hanging Gordon Gekko out in the wind to twist?" "I might be very interested." "Why you, mate?" "What are you doing mixed up with Gekko?" "Let's just say me and Mr. Gekko have a serious conflict of interest." "We all want to see this airline work." "These figures show that it can." "You're prepared to take these large salary cuts?" "We are, but we want a contract agreement that's ironclad." "If you buy it, you can't break it up." "I'm still listening." "Hi." "Oh, hi." "You get the hell out of my office." "I've been a schmuck." "I want to apologize." "You've been a real schmuck lately." "Go thou and sin no more." "I want to make it up to you." "Bluestar." "Put all your clients in it." "O.K., Buddy, Buddy." "We are back in business on Bluestar." "Bluestar, Mr. Mannheim." "Put all your clients in it." "It's going to move." "I don't know where you get your information, but I don't like it." "Money makes you do things you don't want to do." "It's a quick scalp for you." "200,000 shares Bluestar at 191/2." "The Chronicle's on 7." "Hold, Marty." "Listen, Blue Horseshoe loves Bluestar Airlines," "Got it?" "Got it." "Right." "Marty, you still there?" "Bluestar's in play." "Let's check it out." "191/4." "10,000." "I do love it so." "It's 215/8." "I don't know what to make of it." "The word is out, pal." "Your union buddies are talking." "You get me in at a 45-degree angle, all the way in." "Buy everything in sight up to 22, then call me." "When I get the son of a bitch who leaked this," "I'll suck his fuckin' skull." "Stock's going to Pluto, man." "Start unloading." "Sell?" "Dump it all." "Where's Lou?" "Right over there." "Ken, Marv atJackson-Steinem." "We gotta dump this baby." "Take the money and run on BST." "It's gotta be a big hitter." "There's a batch of people from Bluestar Airlines here." "What the hell do they want?" "We know what you're up to, Gekko." "You can go straight to hell." "No way you're going to break up our airline." "That's the first I've heard of it." "We have an agreement which I expect you to honor." "You better hope to have your pilot's license." "We won't let the engines fall out of the planes." "A lot of the baggage headed for St. Petersburg could easily wind up in Pittsburgh." "Somebody else wants to buy your airline." "You want to be gobbled by Attila the Hun, be my guest!" "We'll take our chances." "Nice to see you, Gekko." "Fox says Bluestar just hit 23." "What do you want him to do?" "Sell it all." "What the hell?" "So we only make 10 million." "Sell it." "10,000 at 7/8!" "Sold!" "Sold!" "Break!" "Break!" "Break!" "For Christ's sake!" "Can't get a god damn connection here!" "Bob, big trouble on BST." "Get out now." "Another 30,000 out!" "Gekko's trying to sell." "The stock is plummeting." "I'll carry him a few rounds before he drops." "Don't make a big deal of it." "Buy it lightly on the way down." "When it hits 18, buy it all." "Piece of cake, Larry." "And 18." "100,000 at 18." "300." "300,000 at 18." "18 for 500,000." "Sold!" "Sold!" "I'll sell you 50." "There's got to be a way out of this." "Dial 911." "Fox is on 4." "Where are you?" "I'm losing millions." "Get me out of this, or your only job on this street will be sweeping it." "You told me don't get emotional about stock." "Don't." "The bid is 161/2 and going down." "As your broker, I advise you to take it." "You take it!" "Right in the ass, you fuckin' scumbag cocksucker!" "It's two minutes to close, Gordon." "What do you want to do?" "Decide." "Dump it." "The big Wall Street story today was the roller coaster ride of Bluestar Airlines." "Fueled by takeover rumors, the stock soared to an all-time high of 241/8." "Then when contradictory rumors later surfaced that the takeover was unfounded, buyers went running for cover and the stock plummeted on gigantic volume to as low as 161/2 before closing at 17." "Tonight another rumble shook the street." "Raider Sir Lawrence Wildman has bought a substantial block of Bluestar and is going to announce a deal tomorrow at 18 that includes the support of the unions." "This reporter talked today with a leading..." "Son of a bitch!" "Smile, Carolyn." "There's justice in the world." "Good morning, folks." "What?" "Did somebody die?" "Yeah." "Good morning, Chuckie, Lou." "Bud." "Bud, I like you." "Just remember something." "Man looks in the abyss." "There's nothing staring back at him." "At that moment, man finds his character, and that is what keeps him out of the abyss." "I think I understand." "Janet, get my father, will you?" "He just came in." "I'll call you back." "I guess you're not here to open an I RA." "I'm Henry Patterson with the Postal Inspection Service." "This is Mr. Ebanhopper from the U.S. Attorney's Office," "Evan Morrissey from the Securities and Exchange Enforcement Office." "You're under arrest, Mr. Fox, for securities fraud and for violating the Insider Trader's Sanction Act." "From the beginning, I knew you were no good." "You have the right to remain silent." "Anything you say may be used against you." "You have the right to consult an attorney and to have an attorney present during questioning." "So long, Carolyn." "Hiya, Buddy." "Gordon." "You sandbagged me on Bluestar." "I guess you think you taught the teacher a lesson, that the tail can wag the dog, huh?" "Let me clue you in, pal." "The ice is melting right underneath your feet." "Think you could have got this far this fast with anybody else, huh?" "You think you'd be dicking someone like Darien?" "No." "You'd be cold-calling widows and dentists to buy 20 shares of some fuckin' dogshit stock." "I took you in!" "A nobody!" "I opened doors for you." "I showed you how the system works." "The value of information, how to get it!" "Fulham Oil, Brant Resources." "And this is how you pay me back, you cockroach!" "I gave you Darien!" "I gave you your manhood." "I gave you everything!" "You could have been one of the great ones." "I look at you, and I see myself." "Why?" "I don't know." "I guess I realized I'm just Bud Fox." "As much as I wanted to be Gordon Gekko," "I'll always be Bud Fox." "I showed you how the system works." "The value of information, how to get it!" "Fulham Oil, Brant Resources." "You did the right thing, Bud." "You told the truth and gave the money back." "All things considered, you're shooting par." "You helped save the airline." "The airline people will remember you for it." "You should think about the job at Bluestar Wildman offered you." "Dad, I'm going to jail." "Yeah, well, maybe that's the price, son." "It will be hard on you, that's for sure." "Maybe it's the best thing that could have happened." "Stop going for the easy buck and produce something." "Create instead of living off the buying and selling of others." "We'll park the car and catch up." "All right." "Home" "Is where I want to be" "Pick me up" "And turn me 'round" "I feel numb" "Born with a weak heart" "I guess I must be having fun" "The less we say about it" "The better" "Make it up as we go along" "Feet on the ground" "Head in the sky" "It's O.K." "I know nothing's wrong" "Nothing" "I know" "I have plenty of time" "I know" "You got light in your eyes" "And you're standin' here beside me" "I love the passing of time" "Never for money" "Always for love" "Cover up and say good night" "Say good night" "Home" "Is where I want to be" "But I guess I'm already there" "I come home" "She lifted up her wings" "I guess that this must be the place" "I can't tell one from the other" "Did I find you or you find me?" "There was a time" "Before we were born" "If someone asks" "This is where I'll be" "Where I'll be" "I know" "We drift in and out" "I know" "Sing into my mouth" "Out of all those kinds of people" "You got a face with a view" "I'm just an animal" "Lookin' for a home" "Share the same space for a minute or two" "And you love me till my heart stops" "Love me till I'm dead" "Eyes that light up" "Eyes look through you" "Cover up the blank spots" "Hit me on the head" "I got you"

"Sorry Caitlin." "Ari." "Found Ari's sniper's nest, boss." "Didn't police his brass." "I'm dead now, Ducky." "Shouldn't be." "I could have killed Ari right here." "You okay?" "Yeah." "Him sniping Abby means he's after my people." "I've been offered a deputy director's position at Homeland Security." "Well, who'll be replacing you, sir?" "Hello, Jethro." "On the job, it is "Director Shepard" or "ma'am."" "I'm here to see Special Agent Gibbs." "You first." "Ziva David, Mossad." "She's here to stop you from whacking Ari." "Director Jenny Shepard." "Same mission." "Ari Haswari is a Mossad operative under cover in Hamas." "He hasn't turned on us or you." "Dr. Maard, I want to prove I didn't kill Caitlin." "By taking Gerald hostage?" "Gerald is free to go." "Come alone, and you can exchange places." "You shouldn't have come, Doctor." "Couldn't let the bastard put a bullet in your good shoulder, or you'd never return to work." "Do you have your cell phone?" "Ari took it." "Keep walking." "###############################" "Where is Ari?" "In the backseat." "Well, when I reach your car," "I'll lean in through the open window." "That's your cue to drive off fast." "Dr. Mallard..." "Go straight to NCIS." "Tell Gibbs everything that's happened." "You've reached Dr. Donald Mallard." "Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you asoon as I can." "I said no one was to leave the building!" "Ducky, please call, okay?" "_We're all really worried..." "_"No one" includes you, Dr. Mallard!" "We're worried, including Gibbs." "Or he wouldn't be yelling." "Look, Gibbs, it's not Ducky's fault, okay?" "He probably did Kate's autopsy on autopilot, and then just drove himself home the same way." "Boss, outside call came into Autopsy 23 minutes ago." "Tracing the number." "You look surprised." "I expected to be shot." "Doctor, please." "I would never harm a fellow physician." "Use the clutch!" "Good God, man, use the clutch!" "You're-You're-You're stripping the gears!" "This is too painful, Doctor." "Gerald, turn it off!" "Obviously, Gerald does not have an intimate relationship with a standard transmission." "Unbelievable." "The price of growing up in America." "That was so unnecessary,Doctor." "Gerald is free to leave in his own car." "Boss, that call came from Gerald Jackson's cell phone." "I almost forgot about Gerald." "The guy's been in rehab a year." "Maybe he heard about Kate, and he called Ducky." "_They're in a pub somewhere consoling each other?" "_Yes." "_I don't like it." "_Why?" "I don't need a reason why." "Did you buy it in such pristine condition?" "God, no." "The frame had severe termite damage." "That's right." "The Morgan has a wood frame." "Top was in rags, the body dented, the rocker panels rusted out." "It was a disgrace." "Who did the restoration?" "I did." "Of course you did." "Do you doubt me?" "Not at all, Doctor." "I was thinking of the irony that hands so skilled at dissecting the dead are also capable of restoring life, at least to a machine." "What do you want, Ari?" "A test drive." "Now, who at NCIS could be calling Gerald at this hour, hmm?" "Oh, well." "Gerald is sure to arrive there shortly." "Doctor." "Oh, your cell phone." "Now, buckle up, Doctor." "It's a dangerous night." "_Please record your message." "_I'm getting voice mail." "They probably can't hear their phones because they're in a pub." "Do you want me to leave a message?" "No." "Get a GPS fix." "Snap it up, McGee." "One second, boss." "Got it." "Georgetown." "Olive and Twenty-ninth." "I know that street." "It's mostly residential." "Locate Ducky's cell." "See, they're together." "There's no pub there." "Well, maybe Gerald lives there." "That's negative." "He lives on Peabody." "So, they're-they're parked." "They're talking." "You want me to go with you, boss?" "Uh, Tony's out." "Stay here with Abby." "For nobody leaving the building, there are a lot of people leaving the building." "Why don't you visualize her naked?" "Does she intimidate you?" "Woman hasn't been born yet who can intimidate Anthony DiNozzo." "You're forgetting your mother." "Mothers don't count." "And that lawyer, Marla?" "Divorce attorney." "Worse than mothers." "Well, Ziva's not your mother." "She's not a divorce lawyer." "She definitely intimidates you." "Does not." "Does too." "Does not." "Does too." "Okay, where are they now?" "Same place, Boss." "Olive and Twenty-ninth." "Get a fix on my cell." "Okay, you're right on top of them." "Damn it, McGee, they are not here!" "They have to be, boss." "Gibbs, is there a pub?" "No!" "There isno pub!" "There are no people!" "There are no cars!" "Okay, I was just checkg." "How accurate is this fix, McGee?" "It's within 25 meters." "It's gonna happen again, isn't it?" "Ducky's gonna take a bullet for you." "He won't kill Ducky." "Why not?" "Because you couldn't live with the guilt?" "Maybe Ari knows that." "Maybe that's his plan." "Maybe the only way to save Ducky," "Abby and McGee is to kill yourself." "Special Agent McGee." "Found Ducky and Gerald's cell phone in the park." "Why would they leave their cell phones in the park?" "They wouldn't, McGee!" "Do you want me come down there?" "If I wanted youto come down here, I would've told you so." "Put a BOLO out on Ducky's Morgan." "Pull his license plate from his file." "Gibbs." "Ari has Gerald and Ducky." "They're not dead, Abs." "How do you know?" "Because..." "Ari dumped their cell phones in the park, not their bodies." "Uh, boss, Gerald's here." "Ari's got Dr. Mallard." "How'd you get away?" "!" "I didn't." "Ari let me go." "Excuse me." "May I?" "You certainly may." "I've never driven a stick." "Are you serious?" "What, you can drive a stick?" "Yeah." "Since I was, like, ten." "What were you driving when you were ten?" "A red '47 Ford half-ton pickup with four on the floor and Bubba riding shotgun." "Bubba?" "Best damn coon dog in Jefferson parish." "I don't believe in coincidences, Tony." "I know, boss." "Haven't I beat that into you?" "!" "That's what I said." "What did you say?" "I said the reception sucks!" "Stay with them!" "I'm on my way." "...they split up?" "What about your gut?" "!" "It wants a pizza!" "Ah, God." "What do we have?" "Ari picked up Gerald to force Ducky into a meet." "Did you warn him?" "I did, but you know Dr. Mallard-- he came anyway." "Not your fault, Gerald." "Ari's the bastard." "Ducky made the decision to go, not you." "Debrief it." "Write it up." "I'll be with Tony at the Embassy Hotel." "Tony's at the Embasero." "Well, why did he say the Embassy?" "Cell phone garble?" "All right, from now on, everyone is using phonetics, like we did in the Corps." "Um..." "Golf-India" " Bravo-Bravo-Sierra?" "Can I please go back to my lab?" "I'm flipping out up here with nothing to do." "_Okay, but don't leave..." "_Don't leave the building." "I know." "Bravo-Yankee-Echo." "Mind if I join you?" "One more lap, you'll have it all to yourself." "How's the water?" "Lovely." "Have a nice swim." "Thank you." "They're switching robes." "What are you doing?" "Going for a swim!" "There's a locker room." "I'm fine." "Where's your swimsuit?" "Don't have one." "I should call security." "You didn't see the sign." "What sign?" "I must've been blocking it." "Uh, remember when I was waiting outside and you... wanted to come in?" "I remember." "Hackensack Nudist Society." "From 10:27 to 11:51, the pool is ours." "And, uh, it's our third annual convention here's Agnes and Agnew right now." "Uh, he's our president, and Agnes is our social secretary." "Hey, guys." "They look funny with clothes on." "Inventive." "Funny, even." "But I'm married." "So am I." "Boss, can you hear me?" "Across the street." "Boss?" "Here." "Got you." "Ziva slipped a phony French passport and some cash to the, uh,woman with the Star of David." "...I told you about." "I love you, boss." "How do you know the passport's a phony?" "Ari's photo, but not his name." "What name is he using?" "Aren't you curious to know how I got it?" "I assume you improvised like a good agent should." "What an improv." "I swear to God, I could get a gig on SNL." "Okay, get this:" "I pretend like" "I'm this real goofy guy trying to get laid." "Pretend?" "!" "That hurt, boss." "What's the name?" "Well... the..." "The name." "Rene Saurel." "S-A-U-R-E-L." "Description?" "All I saw was the name and the photo." "The woman." "About 5' 9", dark hair, blue and white jogging outfit, big gym bag, real pretty girl." "Looked enough like Ziva to be her sister real pretty." "Maybe she is." "Mossad's like the Mafia one big happy family." "Hey, McGee, put out a passport alert." "Ari's traveling with a French passport under an alias:" "Rene Saurel." "Sierra-Alpha-Uniform" " Romeo-Echo-Lima." "Okay, what alert category?" "Terrorism." "On it." "That out to get Customs' attention." "Well, let's make sure he doesn't get that far." "Boss, that's her." "Stay with Ziva." "What if this girl's meeting Ari?" "You're gonna need backup." "Let me rephrase that..." "Out!" "Thanks for the pizza, boss." "Thank the night shift." "I swiped it from them." "Ari!" "Get out, Ari!" "Good grief, Jethro!" "Put that weapon down!" "Had enough excitement for tonight." "Ari abducts me, Gerald strips my gears, and now you play chicken on a wet street." "Where's Ari?" "Well, gone, I imagine." "We were parked about... well, a ways back." "He received a cell phone call and then... told me to drive down the street for ten minutes." "McGee." "Congress Cab number 17 picked up a female fare at the Embasero Hotel ten minutes ago." "If he's en route, I need his 20." "If he's dropped his fare, then get me an address and take the BOLO off Ducky's Morgan-- he's safe." "Our paths didn't cross by accident." "Ari's cell call came from that woman in that cab I was tailing." "He sent me down this street so that you would run into me?" "Yeah, cab keeps going, picks him up, they're gone." "Ari abducts me to get you off a tail?" "Maybe." "What'd you talk about?" "Well, my Morgan, for awhile." "He was surprisingly knowledgeable." "Then, Edinburgh Medical School." "Yeah, we were both alumni a few decades apart..." "Anything important, Ducky?" "Yes." "He swore he didn't kill Caitlin." "Made a very logical and passionate defense." "You believe him?" "He was very persuasive." "Said he knows you'll never believe him." "He's right about that!" "And that it's a shame that one of you has to die." "He's arrogantly confident that it won't be him." "But said, on the off chance that it is, to keep looking for Caitlin's killer." "He's a slick bastard, Duck!" "But he's right." "One of us is gonna die!" "Jethro!" "Jethro!" "Espresso?" "Take it." "It's not a bribe." "How long have you known I was...?" "Following me?" "Since I left the Navy Yard." "I don't think so." "Blue sedan." "You laid behind a white station wagon for a while, then a telephone van." "You lost me at the traffic circle on..." "Okay, okay, you knew." "Take it." "It's chilly out here." "You shouldn't feel bad." "I was trained by the best." "You know, that's what I like about Mossad." "Our training?" "Modesty." "Um, there's a slice in there." "Toda." "Prego." "I lost my little sister Tali in a Hamas suicide bombing." "She was 16 and the best of us." "Tali had compassion." "I'm sorry." "After Tali's death, I was like Gibbs." "All I wanted was revenge." "Is that why you joined Mossad?" "I was Mossad long before Tali's death." "Old family tradition?" "Israeli sense of duty." "So, come on." "Who recruited you?" "Father?" "Uncle?" "Brother?" "Boyfriend?" "Aunt?" "Sister?" "Lesbian lover?" "You're good." "You almost got me off the question." "Almost." "I volunteered." "Laila Tov." "Buona notte." "Why haven't you come down to see me yet?" "If you don't peek at the back of my head, it'll just look like I'm asleep." "I'm so lonely." "I'd even welcome a visit from Tony." "McGee!" "Didn't Tony match the tire tracks to a Chevy Suburban?" "Uh, yeah, Bridgestone Duelers." "Factory issue." "Uh, what are you doing?" "We caught a break." "NRO orbited a new Keyhole." "They're doing calibration tests using the seventh hole of Norfolk Naval golf course." "Why the seventh hole?" "See, that's why I dig you, McGee." "You think specific." "Whatever the reason, we are grateful because that orbit took the Keyhole over Newport News." "I inputted the warehouse coordinates..." "That's the rooftop." "That's me..." "Tony..." "Gibbs..." "Kate." "Is that the building where Ari's sniper nest was?" "It is." "Ari's not there." "What do you expect, video of him shooting?" "Well, I was hoping." "Only in flicks, McGee." "Okay." "Then why are you so excited?" "I don't know." "Maybe it's being alone with you on a rainy night." "Abby..." "Oh, look." "Could it be?" "A black ChevSuburban driving down the alleyway." "can-can-can you read the license plate?" "That depends more on angle than resolution." "It's not a dress, McGee." "You can't look up it to see what you want." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "McGee!" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I got to put a BOLO out on that plate." "We did good, huh?" "You did great." "Yeah." "Gibbs." "We got Ari's..." "Slow down, McGee." "Take a breath." "Start with the address." "Seven-two-four Tango-Juliet-Alpha." "Got it." "Shepard." "I need a partner for the night." "You up for it?" "Jen?" "Jethro, don't you know any other women?" "None I can call for backup." "You didn't think I meant..." "That's what you have a whole team of agents for." "Well, McGee's on protection duty with Abby." "DiNozzo's tailing Ziva." "And since I lost..." "DiNozzo's what?" "He's tailing Ziva." "Well, where are you?" "Outside." "What are the chances that Ari is still at this house?" "Zero." "Ducky was a diversion, so your friend" "Ziva could pass cash and documents to him." "Ziva's a control officer doing her job." "You'd do the same if the roles were reversed." "She's using you, Jen." "And I'm using her." "A half dozen Hamas suicide bombers will not be blowing up our boys in Iraq because of Ziva." "She's "Metsada," isn't she?" "The Mossad code name for that division is "Komemiute."" "Whatever they name it, they specialize in assassinations." "Excuse me." "Weren't you a Marine sniper?" "If I have to go through your friend to get Ari, I will." "Ziva knows that." "You really do like her." "She's damn good." "And I owe her." "She saved my life in Cairo two years ago." "I can't believe this." "I've been a director less than 24 hours, and I'm back on the street." "It's great, isn't it?" "No, Jethro, it isn't." "Come on." "Come on." "You love it." "Truthfully?" "I'd rather be in bed." "Sleeping." "Remember that stakeout in Marseilles?" "August." "Stuck in that attic with no air." "Photographing everyone who boarded that Lebanese trawler." "That second night that's the first time we..." "Okay." "Shut up." "Hand me the binocs underneath your seat." "What?" "It's Ari's SUV." "Shooter!" "Stay down!" "I expected Haswari to be older." "He is." "Gunshot number three is located under the right clavicle." "Appears to be a distant wound from the absence of sooting and stippling." "Gunshot number four is located six centimeters to the left." "Appears to be a distant wound from the absence of sooting and stippling is a miracle, boss." "He was shooting to kill her, not you, just like he did with Kate and Abby." "It's funny how he always went after women..." "You're not going to like this, Gibbs." "All of the .308 full metal jacket rounds recovered from the shooting came from this Bravo 51 rifle, dropped by the sniper you shot last night Mohamed Esfiri was a homegrown terrorist." "Born in Cleveland." "He was an ardent of a radical Imam, who promised martyrdom Miss Scuito confirmed that the sniper rifle we recovered last night was the weapon used to murder Special Agent Todd and, with no evidence to the contrary, it appears that" "Mohammed Esfiri was the sniper." "I believe it's safe for your team to go home, Gibbs." "Special Agent Todd's funeral isin Indiana tomorrow afternoon." "SecNav has offered his private jet to fly us there." "Go home." "Get some rest." "What about you, Jethro?" "Mohammed didn't kill Kate and he didn't shoot at Abby." "You are not infallible, Jethro, no matter what your gut is telling you." "Ari isn't trying to kill you, but this obsession might." "Hey, Jen." "What?" "Why did he only shoot at your side of the car last night?" "I suppose you were right." "He was trying to kill women who work with you." "How did he know you were in the car?" "I called you at the spur of the moment." "I parked in the dark." "He couldn't see through our windshield, even with a scope." "That guy was sent to die, not to kill." "No." "No one's going to do that." "Come on, Jen." "Hamas suicide bombers blow themselves up all the time." "It doesn't matter how a martyr dies, as long as it's for the jihad." "Mohammed, last night he died for rivers of honey and 72 virgins." "I'm not saying you're right." "But if you are,how do we prove it?" ""We"?" "Did you just join my side?" "Jethro, I've always been on your side." "What do we do?" "Kill Ari before he kills me." "Told you she looked good." "Probie wouldn't believe me, Kate." "Thought you'd look like Return of the Living Dead." "Did not." "Don't lie to the dead, McGee." "Not nice." "I was a little afraid." "Kid was terrified." "But it took a lot of guts to come down here, alone." "Showed how much he cared for you." "I really did like you, Kate." "A lot." "It's raining, Gibbs." "You smell like a wet dog." "Well, there was one... here, underneath the bench, when I got here." "I put him in the gazebo." "Why aren't you in the gazebo?" "Dog smells like hell." "So why didn't you leave him under..." "Never mind." "If I ask you something, Tobias, you going to lie to me?" "Depends on the question." "What's Ari Haswari's real mission here?" "I'm going to lie to you." "Mossad lies to the CIA." "They lie to us, I lie to you." "I don't know who you lie to, being the bottom of the armed Fed food chain... and not married." "So, you don't know." "Correct." "I do not know." "You ever go to the movies?" "I build a boat." "Well, you and that dog are gonna need one." "Why don't you get out of the rain, Jethro, and go watch a movie." "You have a film in mind?" "Not in theaters anymore, but you can rent a DVD." "Sounds like a good idea." "Good thing to do on a rainy afternoon." "What's the name of this film?" "The Peacemaker." "George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, directed by Mimi Leder." "Made it in '97." "It's a real action flick." "Clooney and Kidman have to find this stolen nuclear weapon before it's used by terrists." "I can't believe you never saw it." "Where is Gibbs?" "You know, that'sthe first question you asked me when we met." "No, the first queson was "Were you having phone sex?"" "Ziva." "Deputy Director David is on teleconference for you." "Deputy Director David?" "Wouldn't be "Daddy," would it?" "David is a common Israeli name." "You didn't answer my question." "They lose a nuke, boss?" "According to the deputy director, Israel doesn't have nukes." "Boss?" "They have a power plant in Dimona, where a small amount of plutonium is missing." "Hamas is making a bomb?" "They have a core, no detonator." "Ari was to buy a Krytron trigger." "When he delivers it to the Hamas cell with the plutonium..." "Mossad grabs 'em." "Only he's a littlebehind schedule." "They're getting nervous." "Deputy Director David is up there, right now, ordering Ziva to cooperate." "He her daddy?" "No idea." "I didn't ask." "Do you know why Ari left his brass behind?" "You are a broken tape, Gibbs." "Record." "Broken record." "A sniper's brass is like signing your signature." "That's why a sniper always polices his brass." "Lapua .308 casing." "Boat tail." "Moly-coated full metal jacket bullet." "That's what you shot as a Marine sniper." "At Mossad, we use Sierra 6.5 hollow points." "How do you know what I shot, Miss David?" "She profiled you for Ari." "Not just the boss." "That's how you knew where I was born and went to school." "Ari's missions involved NCIS." "As his controller, of course, I did dossiers on everyone he might interact with." "It's SOP at Komemiute." "Director, Abs, Tony... give me a minute alone with Ms. David, please." "You found out about my first wife and my daughter?" "Yes." "I'm sorry." "Then we know why Ari is shooting at women, then, don't we?" "If he wanted you to know he is the sniper, why didn't he use your rifle-- an M-40?" "The Bravo 51 he fired is called a "Kate."" "I still don't believe Ari is the sniper." "But what you have said should be investigated." "Well, when the media gets wind of this, it's going to create a furor." "Are you threatening to go to the media?" "No, not me." "This can stay between Mossad and NCIS." "In exchange for what?" "Setting up Ari for you to kill?" "No." "Setting me up for Ari." "And if I'm wrong about this, he won't show up." "And if you're right?" "Then I'm counting on you to back me up." "You looking for this, Jethro?" "I want you to know, I wish I hadn't had to shoot Caitlin." "Why did you?" "To cause you pain." "I piss you off that much?" "Not you." "My father." "You have the misfortune of reminding me of the bastard." "He didn't marry your mother, huh?" "That's what makes me a bastard, not him." "From the moment of my birth, he groomed me to be one thing:" "his mole in Hamas." "Sent me to Edinburgh to become a doctor, so I could work in the Gaza camps alongside my mother." "When he had her killed, I had no trouble joining the Iz Adin al-Kassam." "You don't really believe your father had your mother killed." "It was a retaliatory Israeli strike, on a day I was in Tel Aviv, visiting him." "After decades of planning, the bastard had his mole in Hamas." "He never knew how much I hated him." "I wish I could see his face when he realizes he created not a mole but a monster, eager to strike at the heart of Mossad and Israel." "Yeah, I almost feel sorry for you." "And I for you." "When Ziva told me you were placing flowers on the roof where Caitlin died, I couldn't believe it." "Such a romantic touch." "Almost too good to pass up." "Almost." "Why did you?" "I need you to commit suicide with your own rifle." "You never did give me enough credit in our game." "I knew it was a trap before Ziva told me you asked her to cover you." "You'd never trust Ziva." "And you need to kill me, to tastehe sweetness of revenge." "I've killed enough menin my life, Ari." "It's going to be just as sweet watching you die." "Sorry to spoil your..." "His father is a deputy director in Mossad?" "Yes." "Not David..." "Yes." "He's my half-brother." "Afraid I wasn't going to make it." "Ari?" "Ziva's escorting his body to Tel Aviv." "You're late for my funeral, Gibbs." "Sorry, Kate." "Do you mind if I play a song for Kate?" "She was very fond of you."

"Hey!" "Ho!" "Let's go!" "Hey!" "Ho!" "Let's go!" "Hey!" "Ho!" "Let's go!" "Hey!" "Ho!" "Let's go!" "They're forming in a straight line" "They're going through a tight wind" "The kids are losing their minds" "The Blitzkrieg Bop" "They're piling in the backseat" "They generate steam heat" "Pulsating to the backbeat" "The Blitzkrieg Bop" "Hey, ho, let's go" "Shoot 'em in the back now..." "Careful, my man." "You look like you're falling in love." "Oh, yeah?" "With that track suit," " you look like frickin' Ali G." " Oh, yeah." "Indahouse." "That's what I'm talking about!" "No, seriously." "Look around." "Every guy in here is drooling over her, and she's only got eyes for you." "They're piling in the backseat" "Hey, they generate steam heat" "Pulsating to the backbeat" "The Blitzkrieg Bop" "Hey!" "Ho!" "Let's go!" "Hey!" "Ho!" "Let's go!" "(indistinct radio communication)" "(siren wailing in distance)" "(camera shutters snapping)" "(shuddering breaths)" "Thank you." "Excuse me, Officer." "Sergeant." "Sorry, Sergeant." "I'm looking for Danny Messer." "He's my husband." "At least I think he is." "I haven't seen him in days." "You trying to break my heart?" "Get an I.D.?" "Michael Schaefer, 21-year-old Brooklyn City College student." "What about the girl?" "She found the body." "Claims that she and the vic left the club she was playing last night and came back to the apartment." "Probably thought it was the luckiest night of his life." "Unfortunately, it was also his last." "Out here in the fields" "I fight for my meals" "I get my back into my living" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Hey, stranger." "So you're back." "It's official." "I talked to Sinclair yesterday." "Retirement papers have already been pulled." "Great." "That's great news." "Welcome back." "Oh, hey, Mac." "We missed you." "See, I told you he'd be back." "You did?" "You didn't say that." "Yeah, I did." "I said he'd be back." "(Danny stammering)" " I said that, but whatever." " Yeah, no, I said you'd be back." "All right, all right." "Are you two done?" "We have a dead body here that needs to be processed." "Obvious signs of forced entry." "Probably gonna want to pheno these shards of glass." "There's, uh, no usable prints, and, uh..." "Uh, are you working the crime scene or me?" "Nah, go ahead." "Do your thing." "I'll just go check on the canvass." "He misses all this." "Yeah." "Why don't you take a deep breath?" "Relax, all right?" "Okay." "Do you remember hearing anything?" "Any yelling?" "An argument?" "Someone trying to break in?" "No." "No, just a gunshot." "I came out of Michael's room, and I..." "I found him on the f-floor." "I-I tried to... hold his head up." "I didn't..." "I didn't know what to do." "I'm sorry." "That's all right." "I just..." "I can't believe this is happening." "I can't believe he's dead." "She found him; called it in." "The victim live here alone?" "Roommate's name is Josh Herman." "Apparently they've been best friends since grade school." "Was he here at the time of the shooting?" "Not sure." "We're still trying to track him down." "Defensive bruising on the arms." "Here." "Stellate tearing around the wound." "Victim struggled with his attacker before being shot at close range." "(gun fires)" "Well, we know robbery wasn't a motive." "So what was?" "I was asleep in Michael's room when it happened." "(gun fires)" "Michael!" "Michael!" "Michael?" "Oh, my God." "Michael." "Michael." "Just take your time." "I know this must be hard for you." "How long did you know Michael?" "Only a few weeks." "We met at the..." "the music store where I work." "He was with his roommate Josh." "Sure, they formed later, but the Pistols captured the image." "The sex, the drugs, the rock and roll." "Not the rock and roll." "That's where you're wrong." "But sure, they had the music." "No doubt about it, but the punk sound didn't start with them." "Title goes to the Kinks." "(scoffs) 1964." "Actually, you're both right." "Image and sound are equally important." "Of course, that also makes you both wrong." "So was the first punk band, then?" "Easy." "The Ramones." "First to incorporate the sound and the image." "She's right." "Founded right here in Forest Hills, Queens, 1974." "Before the Sex Pistols." "Are you any good?" "Sound a lot better coming off a set of strings like that, but, um... yeah, I know how to get it on." "Miranda, there's a guy in the back that could use a little help." "Sure." "That's what you do and then you do it all the time" "Do you remember how you treated me?" "The shoe is on the other foot and now the blind can see" "You needed me, but you left me..." "Sounds like the two of you really hit it off." "Did Michael and Josh have any problems?" "No." "You know, they were like brothers, you know." "We found close to $300 in 20s on the floor next to Michael's body." "Did he owe anybody any money that you know of?" "No." "I mean, if anything, it was the opposite." "He... he seemed like he was doing pretty well." "You feel most alone (chuckles)" "I can't believe you have this song." "You will not be alone" "Get out." "You bought the Gibson?" "Just shine a light on me..." "I thought you said you didn't play." "Well, it's not for me; it's for you." "What?" "(chuckles)" "Michael, seriously?" "Ah, it's..." "it's okay." "I wanted to do it." "Hey, look, it doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to." "No." "And you will see my shadow" "No, Michael, it... it does." "On every wall" "It means everything." "And you will see my footprint" "On every floor..." "That's quite an expensive gift from someone you just met." "He didn't even have to do it." "I was already falling for him." "He was so different from all the guys I'm used to." "He was... sweet, genuine." "Honest." "I can't imagine how anyone would want to hurt him." "Tyler, I'm your mama." "I meddle." "That's what I do." "So what's up with the new roommate?" "What happened to the old one?" "ROSS: - 20, 40, 60." "HAWKES:" " Mmm." "Yes." "Whoo-hoo!" "Pleasure doing business with you." "Yeah." "Anybody ever tell you that money cannot buy you happiness?" "Ah, you want to bet?" "Okay, never mind." "I'll talk to you at lunch." "Bye." "Okay, what was that all about?" "What?" "Sheldon, money." "Oh." "Hawkes had him pegged coming back November 30 or earlier." "Which means you must have had him coming back after November 30." "Uh, kind of, yeah." "What do you mean, kind of?" "Uh, kind of, as in... (clears throat) um, never." "You mean you thought" "Mac Taylor was never coming back to this crime lab?" "How come you didn't let me in on this bet?" "I'd have cleaned up on all you fools." "Ah." "Any word from Flack on the whereabouts of the vic's roommate?" "Josh Herman?" "Still in the wind." "You thinking he had something to do with it?" "Well, possible suspect." "Hopefully not another victim." "They were roommates." "If he did have something to do with it," "I'm not sure why he'd have to break the window." "Well, we're sending the photos and physical description to the media, so I'll keep you posted." "Hey." "No "Good to see you, Mac?"" "Uh, "Welcome back to the lab?" Nothing?" "(chuckling)" "I never thought you were gone in the first place." "(mechanical whirring)" "(sighs)" "Mac Taylor." "Now, there's a sight for sore eyes." "It's good to be back, Sid." "So, what's it like?" "What is what like?" "On the outside." "You made it, man... you were free." "What did that feel like?" "It felt good." "I'm very happy with what I accomplished." "But yet, here you are, back inside." "It means you're institutionalized." "You realize that, don't you?" "These walls are funny, you know?" "First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em, and pretty soon, you start to depend on 'em." "Sid?" "Oh." "Yes." "I, uh, confirmed your suspicions regarding the victim's defensive bruising and the close-contact nature of the gunshot wounds." "There was a struggle." "Yes, but on further examination of the body," "I found a small entrance wound close to the victim's armpit." "(grunting)" "(gunshot) (yells)" "So, what we thought at the scene was a close-contact entrance wound was really an exit wound." "Means there's still a bullet at the crime scene." "I also found a dark smudge on the side of the victim's face." "Took a sample, sent it upstairs." "And what was that you were working on?" "A piece of skin." "Found it attached to the victim's clothing." "TAYLOR:" "Is that some kind of reptile or a fish?" "Yes, you're correct." "It's from a reptile." "It's good to be back." "(laughs)" "?" "?" "?" "(grunts)" "Now, this, I missed." "Adam." "Hey, boss." "(chuckles)" "Welcome back." "You want to tell me what's going on here?" "(heavy sigh) Okay, well..." "I was processing Miranda's shirt for blood." "I found microscopic tears in the fabric." "Could've caught her clothing on something." "The fray pattern should suggest whether or not it was snagged." "In addition to it being snagged," "I also found evidence that suggests that it was cut." "Now, all the tests that I've run... with the wire brush, sandpaper, knife, scissors... have all resulted in either fraying or cutting... but not both." "Till now." "T-shirt was cut by broken window glass..." "looks like Miranda was lying about how she got into Michael's apartment last night." "I wasn't lying." "I was..." "I was covered in Michael's blood." "He was still lying there dead." "I guess I..." "I don't..." "I don't know, I guess I just forgot." "You forgot you broke in to your boyfriend's apartment, where he was later murdered while you were conveniently asleep in his back bedroom, is that right?" "I was in shock." "I-I wasn't thinking straight." "About the break-in or about the murder?" "You think I broke in to Michael's apartment, shot him, ran off to hide the gun somewhere, then came back into his apartment and smeared blood all over myself and called 911?" "Is that it?" "I don't know, is that it?" "Oh, you're twisted." "Sit down." "I said, sit down." "You know, I listened to a couple of your songs, saw a couple performances online, and you have a theme going of anger, frustration... emptiness." "Did something happen to you when you were younger?" "Did you happen to lose someone?" "(over speaker):" "Someone close?" "MIRANDA:" "I'd like to leave." "DANVILLE:" "Mother?" "Father?" "Sibling, maybe?" "MIRANDA:" "Are we done?" "DANVILLE:" "No, we're not done." "Tell me what happened last night, Miranda." "I didn't kill him!" "We both know you broke into his apartment;" "I have evidence to prove it." "So tell me what happened." "Michael lost his keys at the club." "I can't believe this..." "I think I lost my keys." "(panting)" "(whispers):" "Sorry." "(laughs softly)" "Hold on." "MICHAEL:" "Uh, okay, uh, where are you going?" "Fire escape." "Wait-- what are you doing?" "This is dangerous." "What are you doing?" "Okay, yeah..." "I didn't think of that one." "What about his roommate Josh?" "Where was he?" "He said he was gonna crash at a friend's place..." "I don't have a name." "You could've told me all this before, you know." "Yeah, yeah, well, I didn't, okay?" "Look..." "I'm sorry, I just..." "I didn't think you'd believe me." "I've gotten in trouble before." "Shoplifting... fake I.D.-- nothing that forecasts murr." "But I could be wrong." "(sighs)" "It was my dad who died." "Car accident." "I was, um..." "I was 16." "(chuckles softly):" "He, uh... he would've liked Michael." "My father." "He would've approved." "(door opens) (sighs)" "We like her for it?" "Not sure." "Everything she's saying is supported by the evidence." "Where are we" " on the roommate?" " I checked with Brooklyn" "City College, where Josh is a student." "He was a no-show at all his classes today." "I tried tracking him through his financials... there was no recent ATM or credit card activity." "But he does have just over 12 grand in a savings account." "Where does a college kid like him get money like that?" "I could think of a few ways, none of which are legal." "Also, I spoke to a number of witnesses at the nightclub who saw Michael and Josh together." "Apparently, they were having quite a time... especially Josh." "He was throwing around all kinds of money, buying everybody at the bar drinks." "Clearly, things took a turn for the worse." " We got alarms out on him?" " All five boroughs." "Expand it to the Tri-state area." "Let's find him." "(siren wailing)" "(horn honking)" "You got it." "Hey, Mac... results on the smudge" "Sid collected from the victim's face." "TAYLOR:" "Ink, glass cleaner, mineral oil... auto degreaser." "Yeah." "I'm not sure what it means, either." "This, however, might be helpful." "Its primary use is as a tattoo aftercare lotion." "I don't recall Sid saying our victim had a tattoo." "Could mean our victim's roommate Josh Herman recently got one, though." "You get the name of the tattoo parlor this lotion came from?" "Mac... you haven't been gone so long that we've forgotten how to do this." "Flack's on his way there now." "That's a good choice: yin and yang." "Thing is, right now you're thinking yin;" "when you're 50 years old, you'll probably be thinking yang." "Yeah, I remember him." "He was in here a couple of days ago." "Yeah, kind of hard to forget that guy, actually." "I haven't done one of these in a while." "You ever look inside the mouth of one?" "Insane teeth." "Rows of them, razor-sharp." "They could rip a person to shreds if they wanted to." "Oh, and get this." "They're the only animal other than humans to have sex for pleasure." "(chuckles)" "(chuckles, groans quietly)" "A dolphin?" "That's what he wanted on his back permanently?" "(laughs):" "I hear you, man." "I do my best to steer people's decisions so they won't regret it later, but this kid was determined." "Kept telling me how smart dolphins are, how the military trains them to attack warships, crazy stuff like that." "What's a tattoo that size go for?" "Uh, that one ran a little over a grand." "A thousand bucks for Flipper?" "200 bucks an hour." "What could I say?" "So you guys spent some time together." "You talk about anything else?" "Not really." "The guy wouldn't shut up about dolphins." "Oh, and his friends." "Kept going on and on about how his best buddy got some new girl and how it was screwing up their friendship." "You know, if I had to guess, it was his obsession with dolphins that created that divide." " Not the girl." " Listen, if he happens to come back in for a, uh, starfish tattoo, let's say," " do me a favor and give me a buzz." " Yeah." "Okay." "(siren wailing)" "(horn honking)" "DANVILLE :" "Tyler, before I hear about the new roommate, what happened to the old one?" "I had to kill him." "I asked him who his favorite player on the Knicks was, he said Woody Allen." "See, that's funny." "I like him." "Well, then you live with him." "Anyways, just... irreconcilable differences, you know?" "He was different... and I don't like to reconcile." "So, what's wrong with the new roommate" " Alex?" " Nothing." " Then why the meeting before the meeting?" "Well, I need you to cosign on the new lease agreement for me." "Oh, I see." "You don't want your overprotective mom to embarrass you in front of your new friend, is that it?" "No, Mom, we've been friends for five months." "Thank you." "Okay?" " Now, will you please just sign it?" " Absolutely not." "Not until I meet him, anyway." "Why?" "Because I want to know" " who my son is moving in with, that's why." " I see." " You don't trust my judgment." " I trust you." "It's just this Alex..." "Kirkland person." " What's his major, anyway?" " (chuckles) Art." " I know." "Scary, okay?" " All right, I guarantee you his mother right now is saying," ""Who's this Tyler kid?" "I want to meet him."" "I highly doubt that." "Look, I'm sure he's great." "I just want to meet him first." "(sighs)" "What up?" "Adam, how many college roommates did you have?" "Uh, whew... okay." "Let's see, first, there was Todd, but that ended with the whole atomic cat eye incident." "Atomic cat eye incident?" "Yeah, you know, whenlike, someone drinks too much, and they pass out, and you, like, sneak up and..." "I don't really want to know." "Just ballpark it for me." "Uh... 12, I guess." "12 roommates?" "!" "Any of 'em ever get arrested" "Todd, and it was for public indecency." "(chuckles)" "Why?" "What's up?" "Tyler's moving in with a new roommate." "Oh, man!" "You broke the Mom code and looked him up?" "Well, I didn't get any specifics." "The juvie record's sealed." "Trespassing and criminal mischief." "Hmm." "Looks like you guys got something in common." "I'm just concerned." "Do you have something for me?" "I do." "Comparative microscopic analysis results from EDNA." "Snakeskin?" "No indication our vic or his roommate had snakes for pets." "Well, somewhere along the line, our vic had a run-in with a boa constrictor." "Pigmentation is a little..." "Off." "Unnatural, even." "Mm-hmm." "I'm all over it." "Oh, and by the way, the whole Tyler roommate thing..." "it's gonna be fine." "You know, usually people with priors never commit crimes within a five-mile radius of where they live." "Oh, get out of here." "(laughs)" "(beeping)" "?" "?" "Mac, what would you say if I told you" "I could quadruple your money?" "You trying to talk me back into retirement?" "(laughs quietly)" "I'd say, it sounds too good be true, not to mention illegal." "Oh, it's definitely illegal." "You got five bucks on you?" "Five bucks?" "This better be good." "All right, you've got ink, auto degreaser, mineral oil, and glass cleaner, okay?" "All four components were detected in a smudge that Sid collected off Michael's body, right?" "Watch this." "A little bit of... (whirring)" "(computer chirping)" "(computer chirping)" "(hissing)" "(printer whirring)" "(printer whirring)" "Paper's the real thing." "Giving it the right feel." "Thickness, texture." "Detection pen would work, too." "The watermark and the security strip are wrong, but..." "Well, it's for a five, not a 20, but at least it's there." "People don't scrutinize twenties the same way as they do hundreds, so it would be easy to pass off." "This could explain why all the twenties were left behind at the crime scene." "Whoever the killer is must have known the bills were fake." "Now we know the real reason for Michael's murder." "Counterfeit cash." "Yo, just spoke to Flack." "The apartment search turn up anything?" "Yep... auto degreaser, ink jet printer, scanner, glass cleaner, hair dryer... everything you need for printing counterfeit money." "Well, the problem is, everything you just listed is also a regular household item, easily explained away." "Everything but the scanned image of the $20 bill that was found on the hard drive of Josh's computer." "I want everything brought back to the lab and processed for prints." "Michael's or anyone else's hands were on that equipment," "I want to know about it." "At this point, all the evidence suggests the counterfeit money was being printed by the victim's roommate, Josh Herman." "That explains where all of Josh's money came from." "Could also explain why he's still in the wind." "We just don't know if he's the killer, or another victim." "According to Flack, all the witnesses at the club saw Josh throwing a lot of money around." "Money which we now know was counterfeit." "DANVILLE:" "Michael could have found out what Josh was doing and confronted him back at the apartment." "Things went from bad to worse." "According to Miranda," "Josh was never at the apartment last night." "What about his roommate Josh?" "Where was he?" "He said he was gonna crash at a friend's place." "I-I don't have a name." "And since we don't know who that friend is, that story can't be verified until we find Josh." "Jpegs of the counterfeit cash we've recovered have been sent to the Secret Service." "They're combing through data, compiling lists of New York City merchants where Josh may have spent some of the money." "Wherever he passed the bills before, he might go back and try again." "Could Josh and Michael's argument have been over the girl, Miranda?" "So who was the first punk band then?" "Easy." "The Ramones." "First to incorporate the sound and the image." "She's right." "We're looking into that, as well." "Isn't it possible Josh fled the city?" "Possible, but not likely." "Flack reached out to Josh's parents, friends, everyone else we could come up with, but no sign of him yet." "What about the vic's cell phone?" "Missing." "No signal." "Killer must have taken it, shut it down." "What about surveillance?" "TAYLOR:" "Already in place." "We also have photos and a description of both Josh and his money out to every bus station, train station and airport within a 100-mile radius of this city." "If this kid tries to run to buy as much as a pack of gum, we're gonna hear about it." "Hey." "Hey." "Hmm." "Not bad." "You think?" "Yeah." "Thought-provoking, interesting color scheme, detailed shading." "Impressive." " Let you in on a little secret?" " Hmm." "I used to do this when I was younger." "Really?" "Yeah." "You, Dr. Sheldon Hawkes?" "Oh, it just feels like a lifetime ago, but, oh, yeah." "Who's the artist?" "I don't know yet." "Haven't met him." "Whoever he is, he's pretty good." "LINDSAY:" "Yeah." "Right." "All right, well, that sounds like it might be him." "When was this?" "Okay." "Thank you." "Doesn't look like the work of a professional." "The media photos are paying off." "Crime Stoppers just got another Josh sighting." "He's still in the city." " Secret Service getting in on this?" " Yep." "They gave us 12 locations where Josh's bills have turned up for the past two months." "12... that's a lot of bad bills." "What's he buying?" "You name it... uh, cigars, booze, jewelry... clothing... a lot of Adidas track suits." "(scoffs) Who is he, Run DMC?" "Whoa!" "All right." " Not what I was expecting." " Look, honey, I can't get out of here." "Can lunch wait, like, an hour?" "Scheduled break, babe." "You know that." " It's now or never, sweetheart." " Are you mad?" "Yeah..." "I am mad, but not at you." "At, uh, Run DMC over here." "Felony lunch-jacking." "I'll make sure they add it to his list of charges." "(phone ringing) Mm-hmm." "Crime Lab." "Messer." "Are you sure?" "Okay." "Thanks." "Secret Service." "Some of Josh's bills turned up at a First Federation branch in the Village." "They traced the deposit back to Randy's Rock Shop." "It's the same place the vic's girlfriend works." "It's also where Michael bought the guitar." "(siren blaring)" "(horn honking)" "(siren blaring)" "Careful with it." "(door bell jingles) And no Skynyrd." "If I hear "Sweet Home Alabama"" "one more time, I swear, I'm gonna sell this place." "You have a problem with Alabama?" "She's from the South." "Maybe we should start over." "I understand some counterfeit bills were traced to a deposit you made the other day?" "Yeah." "Bank just called to notify me about it." "Remember selling a '59 Gibson recently?" "Yeah." "It was a great stick." "Expensive stick." "Wait... was that the kid that passed me the fake bills?" "Yeah." "That's him." "That's the kid." "21-year-old kid comes in here, dumps two grand cash on a guitar, you don't find that strange?" "No." "I mean, he's a nice kid." "He hangs out with one the girls I got working here for me." "Where were you last night at 2:00 a.m.?" "Why?" "What's this about?" "Michael's dead." "Murdered." "Whoa." "And you think this has something to do with me?" "We're not saying that." "Just want to know where you were last night." "Well, I was at home..." "in bed, asleep." "Anyone who can verify that?" "No." "Wait." "Wait-Wait a second." "What are you doing there?" "What are you writing down there?" "It's a pretty nice shop you got here." "Guessing the rent must be kind of steep." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Listen, I feel bad about what happened to that kid, all right?" "I mean, nobody's supposed to die over, what, a couple hundred bucks?" "But I'm telling you, you're barking up the wrong tree." "I had nothing to do with it." "And to be honest with you, if I was to deposit some money that I had no idea was fake, that doesn't exactly say I'm guilty of anything." "So if you'll excuse me," "I got rent to make." "(elevator bell chimes)" "He's right... we've got motive, means, and opportunity, but we don't have proof." "And even if Randy did kill Michael, why is Josh the one who's still in the wind?" "Another question is, why would Michael knowingly spend some of his fake bills on a gift for his girlfriend at the same place where she works?" "Well, maybe he didn't realize it was fake in the first place." "I looked over all the Secret Service case reports that Lindsay put together." "The only time counterfeit bills were passed by someone fitting Michael's description was at Randy's Rock Shop." "All the other times the bills turned up, it was Josh," " working alone." " And with all the purchases" "Josh made, there is a very good chance he passed some of the bills at the wrong place, ripping off the wrong guy." "Killer went to the apartment looking for Josh." "Michael was there instead, got in the way." "Collateral damage." "With the killer still out there, this could mean that Josh isn't running from the police." "He's running for his life." "Hey... ran the snakeskin recovered from Michael's body through every spectroscopic instrument we got." "And you found out what the unnatural pigmentation is from?" "Yeah, it's a complicated mixture of methylacylates and phenyl ketones." "Acrylic paint on snakeskin?" "Strange thing is, the mixture crystallizes with exposure to UV light." "Acrylic paint, when combined with UV hardening compounds, is sometimes used in gel fingernail polish." "Listen, I feel bad about what happened to that kid, all right?" "I mean, nobody's supposed to die over, what, a couple hundred bucks?" "DANVILLE:" "Randy Davis, music store guy-- his fingernails were painted black." "Okay, so maybe a piece of his fingernail polish chipped off during a struggle with Michael." "(phone ringing)" "Yeah." "Randy Davis' confidence was just a little too confident." "Okay, so what are you thinking?" "Randy lied." "He must have made a drop at the bank, not realizing some of the counterfeit bills were in his deposit." "That was Danny." "One of his patrol officers just collared a dealer who had some of our fake bills on him." "Said he got 'em from a guy matching Josh Herman's description." "Josh's best friend was murdered and he's out buying drugs?" "He wasn't buying drugs." "He was buying a gun." "28, there you go, man." "Later, man." "Thank you." "Can never be too sure these days." "(Randy sighs, door bell jingles)" "(bell jingles)" "What, we got a problem?" "Yeah." "We got a problem." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, man." "Put down the gun, man, let's talk about this." "I'm sure we can work something out." "Michael was my best friend." "Look, I didn't mean to hurt Michael." " Stop moving." " Put the gun down and let's talk about it, okay?" "I said stop moving." "Michael told me it was you on the phone before you shot him, before you killed him." "Okay, look, man," "I'm telling you the truth, man," "I didn't know the money was fake." "Someone gave it to me." "Who gave it to you?" "Just give me a couple days;" "I'll get you your money." "I need my money now." "You know what?" "Here, call him," " call him, right now." " Okay." "Get him down here." "Okay, okay." "Call him." "Okay." "(phone keypad beeping)" "(line ringing)" "Just get him over here." "(panting)" "Hey, Josh, it's me." "Tell him." "Yeah, tell him to get down here." "Tell him." "Record store guy... he knows." "Run, Josh, run!" "Don't come home, don't come back, don't come home!" "RANDY:" "Shut up." "MICHAEL:" "Don't, run!" "(gunshot over phone)" "(alarm tone sounding over phone)" "Michael had no idea the money was fake." "He was innocent in all of this, and you killed him." "It was an accident." "The gun just went off, all right?" "Do you realize what your money did, man?" "Look at this." "You see that?" "This is from Jimmy." "Works for the bookie that I owe six grand to." "He came down here and pimp-slapped me with his nine for trying to pass $1,200 in counterfeit... your counterfeit." "I wasn't trying to kill nobody, man." "I was just trying to get my money back." "(door slams open) TAYLOR:" "NYPD!" "Drop it!" "I said drop it!" "Keep your hands in the air." "What?" "TAYLOR:" "Put the gun down, Josh." "I can't let him get away with this." "Killing this man isn't going to change anything." "Put the gun down!" "(gasping)" "(grunting)" "Oh, I didn't..." "he pulled the gun on me, man." "Is this the gun you used for the murder?" "You know what I'd call this?" "Proof." "I didn't pull the trigger." "It was an accident." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You know, you may want to invest in some nail polish remover before you get where you're going." "(horn honking)" "(indistinct conversation)" "TYLER:" "This is going to be interesting." "WOMAN:" "May I get a whiskey, soda, and water?" "Hey." "Mom, hi." "(chuckles)" "So..." "I would like you to meet Alex." "Your new roommate... nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "You didn't tell me she was a very attractive girl." "He didn't say you were unattractive... he just didn't say you were a girl." "(chuckles)" "Woman... very attractive woman." " Thank you." " Mm-hmm, I'm not buying it." "You found her picture on the Internet, didn't you?" "No." "Or one of your police databases." "It's not like I intentionally went and looked her up." "I just happened to stumble across some stuff... your beautiful artwork, which I'd love to hear more about." "I'm starving-- why don't we get a table?" "Yeah." "After you." "Thank you." "Cute." "Mom, she's a roommate..." "strictly a roommate." "(siren wailing)" "I knew if I told Michael the money was fake, he wouldn't take it." "He was always the good kid." "Made the right decisions, always on the straight and narrow... so I made up a lie." "MICHAEL:" "There it is, there it is, there it is." "ANNOUNCER:" "Touchdown!" "(both yelling happily)" "(laughs)" "Nice catch." "Whoo!" "Three in a row." "Want to go again?" "(grunts)" "Oh, no, I can't." "I am meeting up with Miranda." "What, you think she's into you?" "You gonna give her the moves this time?" "Maybe." "God, I really like this girl." "I... you know, I just don't want to rush it and blow it, you know?" "Hey, uh, you remember that guitar she said she wanted?" "Whoa, where'd you get all that?" "Moving mad rock, yo." "(laughs)" "Okay, come on, really." "Nah, I've been pulling extra shifts at the deli." "Look, it-it's no big deal, it's just a few hundred bucks." "Consider it a loan." "You pay me back whenever." "Okay, all right." "All right." "Thanks, buddy." "It was stupid." "Don't know what I was thinking." "If I could go back and change it all, I would." "Michael was my best friend." "I just wanted to help him out, get him the girl he wanted, that's all." "(sighs)" "I'm trying to sympathize with you here, Josh... really, I am... but what I can't get past is that you willingly dragged your best friend into this." "You want to act stupid, break the law?" "Fine, go ahead, do it." "Just do us all a favor... leave the innocent people out of it." "It's time to make a start" "To get to know your heart" "Time to show your face" "Time to take your place" "In every speck of dust" "In every universe" "When you feel most alone" "You will not be alone" "Just shine a light on me" "Shine a light" "I'll shine a light on you" "Shine a light" "And you will see my shadow" "On every wall" "And you will see my footprint" "On every floor" "Just shine a light on me" "Shine a light" "I'll shine a light on you" "Shine a light" "'Cause when your back's against the wall" "That's when you show no fear at all" "And when you're running out of time" "That's when you hitch your star to mine" "We won't be leaving" "On the same road" "That we came by" "We won't be leaving on the same road" "That we came by."

"Kids, this is the story of the night" "Barney's life completely fell apart." "My life is finally perfect, and that is never going to change." "Fired up for dinner with my mom tonight?" "Yeah." "To help streamline the rest of our lives, you can always assume my answer to that question is no." " W..." " I'm pretty nervous." "Nervous?" "Why?" "It's just gonna be two hours of "I love Barney the most"." ""No, I love Barney the most"." "You're right." "I may not even get a chance to talk." "But I'm still..." "I don't know." "I'm worried she won't think" "I'm good enough to be engaged to her precious little Love-Love." "Okay, first of all, it's "Wuv-Wuv"." "And second, don't worry." "I'm just gonna drop off our catering deposit, and then I will be there for you." " Mm." "Okay, well, please don't be late." "I am counting on you tonight." "And be careful... that's 5,000 bucks in there." "Uh, I think I'll be okay walking four blocks here on the Upper East Side." "Please, I swear I never talked to the North Koreans!" "Unless you are the North Koreans, in which case I never talked to the South Koreans!" "Barney Stinson, you are being kidnapped." "For your surprise bachelor party!" "A kidnapping." "Respect." "I was secretly worried you might not be able to pull off my bachelor party." "Yeah, it wasn't that secret." "You two?" "Planning my bachelor party?" "Look, you seem like nice kids." "But this is a sacred event, a man's rite of passage with his bros." "His... bro mitzvah!" "You didn't just think of that." "You've been saying it for months every..." "But here's my dilemma:" "my average night is like an average guy's bachelor party." "So, no offense, but if you two plan it, it's gonna be ordi... why wait for it?" "... nary." "Ordinary." "I can help." "You?" "Look, you seem like a nice kid, but bros' fiancées cannot plan bachelor parties." "Sorry." "You two are on your own." "And you will disappoint me." "But make it great, okay?" "But this is a strong start." "The students have become... the intermediate students." "I just have to make one call." "Hello." "Robin, great news!" "I've been kidnapped for a surprise bachelor party so I won't be there at all!" "What?" "Barney, I can't do dinner with your mom alone." "Okay, I'll call her, make up an excuse and cancel." "And don't worry, I'll take all the blame." "Hold on." "Hi, Wuv-Wuv." "Hi, Momsies." "I forgot, I'm mentoring an underprivileged child tonight, and Robin can't stand the idea of dinner with you by herself, so we're not gonna be able to..." "Don't bother." "She's already here." "Hold on." "Robin?" "Too late." "She's already there." "Barney, don't..." "Robin can't stand the idea of dinner with me?" "Great!" "We're all set then." "Don't you leave me alone with her." " That problem is solved." " I told you..." "So what's the plan?" "Well, you know the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City?" "Yeah." "You know the secret penthouse in the top of the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City?" "Yeah!" "Boom!" "There it is." "Visible from our window." "In the distance." "Behind the refinery." "Okay, you can't quite see it." "Why are we outside Atlantic City?" "Well, we thought it was best, what with your weakness for games of chance." "Kids, Barney was addicted to one Chinese gambling game that was, well, sort of complicated." "But don't worry." "Back when you were engaged to Quinn, you told us everything you wanted for tonight." "A bachelor party is a man's... bro mitzvah!" " Did you just think of that?" " Totally!" "We can wear... bro-mulkes... spin the bro-del... and consult the wisdom of the Bro-rah." "Written in..." "He-bro." "Not at all bro-ffensive." "Ooh, ooh!" "Couple other ideas... and I'm just spitballing here... so take 'em or leave 'em." "Booze, duh, cigars, duh, strippers, duh..." "Ooh!" "Things should get so crazy that at some point we should fear for our lives." "Oh, we'll fear for our lives, all right." "When we watch Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth!" "Yeah." "We're gonna pound a beer every time we hear the word" ""catastrophic"" "Oh!" "Could that be... the next item on your list?" "Mind-blowing entertainment, like a naked fire show or a naked magic show." "There's a good chance our engagement doesn't work out, isn't there?" "Not now, honey." "Or a naked contortionist!" "Or... a balloon contortionist!" "Balloons." "Not the inflatable, round, squishy pouches" "I was hoping to see tonight." "Hold on." "I told you no clown." "Well, you didn't like the bubble guy either." "Hey, Robin." "Did you tell your mother I'm a virgin?" "What?" "Why would you think that?" " Save yourself room for dessert." " Mmm." "And I hear you excel at saving yourself." "You are so funny." "What's gotten into you?" "Oh, that's right... nothing ever." "You may be nervous as to what goes where on your wedding night." "It's really simple." "Let me show you." "And let's start with the fundamentals." "Why would you tell her I'm a virgin?" "I panicked." "Look, I really want her to like you, so just go with it, okay?" "Okay!" "Listen, Wuv-Wuv, you better get your ass back..." "Another guest?" "Who could this be?" "Why, it's Lily!" "And she's here to deliver one of your requests!" "Oh, thank you, Marshall." "Oh, not that one." "An appearance by my all-time idol, the Karate Kid!" "The Karate Kid was an uplifting '80s classic about a teen, played by Ralph Macchio, who defeats the local jerk, played by William Zabka." "At least, that's how most people saw it." "Here he is, just as hot as when his Tiger Beat photo spread gave a young girl the courage to explore the suddenly unfamiliar topography of her changing body... the Karate Kid!" "Hey, Barney." "It's Ralph." " Listen, it's always flattering..." " No!" "I hate Ralph Macchio!" "I hate him, hate him, hate him!" "He is not the Karate Kid!" "The Karate Kid was William Zabka, star pupil of the Cobra Kai Dojo, who this monster defeated with a cheap, illegal head-kick in the most tragically haunting film ending of all time." "Oh, see, I thought you meant fun-crazy." "Shut it, Ralph Macchio." "Why don't you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!" "This night has been catastrophic." ""Catastrophic"!" "Everybody pound." "Sorry, bro." "I'm staying." "If this is anything like my bachelor party... strippers, booze, definitely no hand stuff... wink-wink... it is gonna be in... wait for it... credible." " Incredible!" " Wow." " You guys are actually a lot alike." " You take that back, sir!" "I am nothing like Ralph Macchio!" "I mean, did you guys even get a stripper?" "Bro." "Bro." "Of course we got a stripper." "Do we look like the kind of dweebs who wouldn't get a stripper?" "And as the saying goes, what happens in the sensibly-priced business hotel outside Atlantic City stays in the sensibly-priced business hotel outside Atlantic City." "Who is it?" "Police." "We got a noise complaint from..." "Oh, who am I kidding?" "I can tell it's dead in there." "I'm the stripper!" "Barney?" "Quinn?" "This is your bachelor party?" "You're engaged again, less than a year after we broke up?" " Is it Robin?" " Now, hold on." "You're not the only one with questions here." "You didn't vet the stripper?" "Well, I'm glad you're so happy." "After we broke up, I had to move out of the city, my car got totaled, and I had to go back to stripping just to pay rent." "It's like everywhere I look, my life is a dead-end." "Wow." "I am..." "I'm so sorry, Quinn." "So, how does this work?" " Do you give me a private show, or does everyone...?" " I am not stripping for you." "Whoa, whoa!" "I was promised boobs." " Oh, Ralph, if you want, I can..." " Lily." "Is that the Karate Kid?" " Yes!" " Yes!" " Yes!" " No!" " He's a lot like Barney, huh?" " You take that back, madam." "I am nothing like Ralph Macchio!" "Okay, okay." "I'll tell you what." "I am going to strip for everyone here except Barney." "And I'm gonna make it dirty." "Yeah..." "I'm the bachelor." "Kind of no stripping without the lap of honor." "Back me up, bros." "How'd you even do that?" " What the...?" " Oh, my God, yeah!" "Hey, Robin." "Hey, sweetie, having fun at your bachelor party?" " No." " Good, 'cause my night's been hell!" "And that's the inverted chimney sweep, the last of the 17 basic sexual positions." " Now, bondage..." " Stop!" "I'm not a virgin!" "My napkin ring has seen plenty of breadsticks." "And one baguette." "I dated a center for the Knicks." "Oh, thank God you're not a prude." "Now we can really talk." "Four cosmos, pronto!" "Now she's drunk, holding up a napkin ring and three breadsticks, and talking about her night with Crosby, Stills and Nash." "Waiter, can I have another breadstick?" "And Young." "Please come back." "Okay." "I'll be there soon." " Real nice." " So beautiful." "I think we really did it." "I think we did it, you know?" "You didn't miss a thing." " Oh, Quinn?" " Yeah?" "You got a little... something." "Oh!" "Oh." "Let's head back, guys." "This night has been completely half-assed." " You obviously missed the strip show." " Hey-oh!" "Ted, this was my bachelor party." "A man only gets two or three of these in his lifetime." "And this is all you do for me?" "That's it, I'm calling it." "Who needs a ride back to the city?" "Oh." "Oh, guys, wait, hold on, hold on." "Drinking." "A shot." "Shooting." "A gun." "Shot, gun." "Shotgun?" "Man, it's crowded in here." "I know, it's like a clown car." "Well, I can make some room by grinding on Ralph's lap." "Si-Sitting!" "I meant, I meant sitting." "This is the worst bachelor party ever." "Man, my bachelor party was incr... wait for it... and I hope you're hungry, 'cause the second half of this word is... edible!" "Incredible!" "Self-shake." "You take that back, clown." "I am nothing like Ralph Macchio!" "Yeah." "You've got more in common with the clown, except his suit's more expensive." "Hey, yo!" "I mean, what kind of loser has his bachelor party ten yards from A.C. and doesn't even gamble?" " Oh." " Oh, sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Oh... oh, wait." "Just a little more." "Okay, sorry." "Okay." "bro mitzvah!" "Kids, I'll skip over the gambling." "Like I said, it was a complicated game." "Although your old man did pick it up pretty quickly." "Hey!" "You just won 300 bucks!" "I just lost $5,000." "Oh, right. 'Cause the chicken." "Yep, that-that's $5,000, yeah." "See, I'm laughing because you couldn't see me take my top off, but I just saw you lose your shirt." " Hey-yo!" "We have to go back." "Loser!" "Sorry, that was a real sneeze." "Might have made you miss what I was saying." " Loser!" " Loser." "We're not going anywhere." "I can still make this night legendary." "Uh..." "Oh, oh." "Okay, I got some credit." "I just... mm..." " Marshall, stand over there for good luck?" " Oh, sure." "Okay, okay." "Oh!" "Oh!" "You crazy son of a bitch, you did it!" "I just lost $80,000." "Oh, right, right, yeah. 'Cause the black jelly bean." " That-That's $80,000." " He's right." "You know, Ralph, earlier at the salon, I waxed on, then waxed off." "Everywhere." "Uh, listen, lady, your husband is, like..." "Hey, where is your husband?" "Marshall?" "Where's Marshall?" "Okay, Lily, don't overreact, but..." "Oh, oh." "Okay, I got some credit." " Marshall, stand over there for good luck?" " Oh, sure." "You sold my husband?" "Lily, can you be more like the Chinese mobster and give me some credit?" "I'm going back for Marshall, I just need to get some money." "You have nothing to worry about, these are the "good" mobsters." "Wow, what kind of bozo does that to a friend?" "Shut it, Ralph Macchio!" "No, you shut it!" "Ralph Macchio's right, you are a bozo." "Um, I think they prefer "people of bright color"." "You know what a bachelor party's about?" "Hanging out with your friends and having a good time." "But you only care about the good time, not the friends." "So you know what?" "I'm-I'm done caring about you then." "I'm out of here." "Ted..." "Ted, Ted, I have..." "I just tore your mom away from a living version of a Nick Nolte mug shot and put her in a cab home." "Thank you for abandoning me on what has been one of the worst nights of my life." "So, it's my usual fee, plus I always charge an extra hundred for girl-on-clown action." "What the hell is she doing here?" "Robin, I swear, nothing happened." "That means just hand stuff." " You...!" " Oh!" "No, no, stop, stop, stop!" "Sorry, Barney, this... this-this is unforgivable." "It's over." "You know..." "I never got to do that." "Ted?" "Robin." "We're right on schedule." " Barney is suicidal." " I know, it's awesome!" "Yep, kids, we had planned out every step of the night." "It started three weeks earlier." "and you will disappoint me." "But make it great, okay?" "Oh, it'll be great, all right!" "Okay, after two weeks of brainstorming, all I have on my list so far is Purell." "Marshall, what do you got?" "Well, nothing now." "This is impossible!" "How do you make something memorable for a guy who makes every night the best night of his life?" "Give him the worst night of his life." "We'll give him the worst hotel room with the worst entertainment, the wrong Karate Kid, and the absolute last stripper he would want to see." "Hold on." "You want me to pretend my life's gone to crap and I'm back to stripping just screw with my ex-fiancé?" "I love it!" "That party will be so terrible, he'll have to leave it." "Then I'll instruct his arch-nemesis to say..." ""I mean, what kind of loser has his bachelor party ten yards from A.C. and doesn't even gamble?"" "Barney will take the envelope of cash I gave him and head straight into our trap." "Hold on." "You want us to rig a casino game to trick one of our former high rollers?" "Um..." "I love it." "Well, then you get Barney to use one of these guys as collateral." " He'll probably choose me." " What?" "Well, I'd be worth more." "Yeah." "Perfect teeth." "Yeah, it's just... just I'm way more athletic than you." "Yeah, this coming from the guy who's never beaten me at skee-ball." "The only reason a mobster might choose you is because they'd be afraid I'd go all "Marshall Unchained" on them, which obviously isn't a risk with you." "Oh, you want to see some "Ted Unchained," huh?" "I'll show you Ted Unchained!" "Marshall, would you mind standing over there for good luck?" "Oh, yeah, sure." "Meanwhile, I'll make sure he's abandoned me in my nightmare scenario." "Hold on." "You want me to help you trick my own son?" "I love it." "Barney deserves it." "You know, he told me you were a virgin." "Ridiculous!" "I know." "You are a dirty ho-bag just like me." "But he loves you so much." "And so do I." "Wait, hold on." "Is there any chance this is all too mean to Barney?" "Just kidding." "Okay, we just need the finale." "Oh!" "The Chinese mobsters chop off my hand right in front of Barney!" "Yes, we're all equally enthused!" "Okay, here's the plan." "After I storm off..." "Barney!" "Barney, hurry!" "Give them the money!" " Please, hurry!" " Oh, no!" "The Chinese mobster is giving Marshall back and taking me hostage instead, because he says I'm obviously more valuable!" "Can you, can you unlock the door?" "Barney, please!" " They're gonna chop off my hand!" " No, they're not!" "They said you're free, and I think we agreed that's not something mobsters would do." "Ted, come on!" "This is my thing!" "Don't hurt him." "I've got the money." "Too late!" "Not my skee-ball hand!" " No...!" " No...!" "No!" "Please, just don't shoot me in the face... or the crotch!" "Surprise!" "What's going on?" "Well, we decided to give you everything you wanted for your bachelor party without you even realizing it." "Wait, so that's why you made me think Marshall might die?" "And I'd lost all that money and my friends hated me and my wedding was off?" "You just decided to-to check off everything on this list in the most twisted way imaginable?" "That is awesome!" "And it was all planned by a girl." "Wow!" "So, Lily... later on tonight, you want to...?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "That was all just part of the act." "Y" " You knew that, right?" "Yeah!" "Totally." "We pulled it off, right?" "Platonic shake!" "Everyone, everyone, thank you for an incredible bro mitzvah." "Mazel brov!" "Mazel brov!" "Mm, oh, you didn't really get everything on the list." "N" " No offense to Ralph Macchio, but he ain't the Karate Kid." "I couldn't agree with you more." "You know, they almost didn't get me." "But after 18 voice mails..." "I returned Robin's call." "And she told me how you're one of the few people in the world who truly gets The Karate Kid movie." "So when she asked if I'd help, well, my answer just had to be..." "Hai!" "William Zabka!"

"Authorities have concluded that the bioroid found early on the 7th after dying an unnatural death had in fact committed suicide. investigators have yet to identify a common connection." "it has been revealed that 3000 frozen embryos stored at the Tartaros Center have been destroyed." "The cause is currently under analysis." "Deunan." "Want to go for a long ride?" "Sorry." "I'm just about to go shopping with Hitomi." "Going for a long ride alone isn't the same..." "What's the point in taking time off together if this is how it'll be?" "Hey there." "hi!" "I guess." "Yoshitsune!" "Welcome back!" "Briareos!" "Hitomi." "Weren't you going shopping with Deunan?" "Huh?" "I just got back from a three-day stint at the Legislative Bureau..." "Briareos?" "training even on your off-days." "You don't seem busy either." "Are you kidding me?" "We have the fine job of holding down the fort while the others are busy with a secret investigation!" "Isn't Deunan off too?" "Where is she?" "You guys should go on a date or somethin' if you're both off duty." "huh?" "Deunan?" "I saw her by herself today." " Today?" " Yes." "There was another bioroid suicide in the Ladon River district and I visited the scene as a Tartaros Center observer." "That's when I saw her." "Suicide..." "Bioroids are designed to get great joy out of serving humans and maintaining society." "why do some choose suicide?" "the less it makes sense..." "Briareos?" "Briareos?" "why not just ask her in person?" "right?" "Listen up!" "see down too!" "See it all at the same time!" "Deunan..." "Squeeze the trigger before looking at your target!" "Always take out anyone who seems suspicious!" "Don't focus on one spot!" "you'd be dead twice now!" "Karl!" "Let her take a break already!" "How many times must I say it?" "!" "Don't give yourself blind spots!" "Don't assume you'll always have a buddy!" "Karl?" "!" "You're pushing her too hard!" "She can't keep this up!" "Something the matter?" "Briareos." "Deunan." "where did..." "What?" "N-Nothing." "You're such a weirdo." "Maybe she's getting it overhauled?" "she was probably at Ceryneia." "Ceryneia?" "A gun shop." "I hear they even sell weapons wholesale to the police." "You've never heard of it?" "They have a good reputation." "I hear they're pros at weapon maintenance." "handsome young man." "even for a custom Government model." "everything else is totally new." "Deunan?" "it's always been like that." "It's a keepsake from my dad." "in that case..." "Karl..." "Karl!" "Why must you push your own daughter so hard?" "!" "Karl?" "!" "Is that?" "She's my daughter..." "The only family I have left." "no matter what it takes." "Even if it makes me seem like a monster right now." "Deunan is vulnerable without you to watch her back." "Briareos..." "All Olympus bioroids are fabricated and managed here at Tartaros." "They're clones made from altered human genes." "from intentionality to emotional stasis." "but their internal software isn't." "bioroids are complex and sophisticated high-precision robots." "Including myself." "Here we are..." "Is there an issue with this file?" "Never mind." "Lark Ceryne... he's a bioroid with Karl Knute and Alcides' genes." "Bioroids crafted from such a combination of superior human genes you see." "ideal humans..." "They're not perfect." "they wouldn't commit suicide." "living isn't a right." "It's a duty. then self-abandonment is their only way to know true freedom." "That's far from perfect." "You were out late." "yeah." "Sorry." "Where's your Government model?" "I'm having it overhauled." "It's no big deal." "Why do you ask?" "No big deal"?" "Briareos." "We're talking about the gun Karl left you as a keepsake." "Can you really entrust it... to that guy?" "What?" "You went and investigated me?" "!" "I can't believe this!" "Explain yourself!" "What's wrong with caring about your partner?" "!" "You call someone who snoops and spies on me a partner?" "!" "When did you suddenly become my guardian?" "!" "I'm saying it for your sake!" "You just won't be happy until you've worked your will on me!" "You're just like my shitty dad!" "Shitty dad"?" "!" "Whatever!" "I'm outta here!" "it's natural for Briareos to be concerned about you!" "you should be happy he has such strong feelings for you!" "It's not like that!" "He's just like my lousy dad!" "I wonder if Yoshitsune feels as strongly about me!" "Hey!" "Are you even listening to me?" "!" "In that case..." "How do you feel about this other man of yours?" "Yes!" "That's it!" "Out with it!" "We'll give you whatever advice you need!" "right?" "he looks like my dad on the outside." "I'm guessing he has his genes." "They do say it's common for humans to like someone who resembles their father." "though." "You don't mince words." "Looks like we could use some more drinks." "I'll go get some." "though." "It's normal for bioroids to share genes with complete strangers;" "being attracted to someone just because of a fatherly resemblance is something only humans experience!" "What?" "What was the point of coming to you for help then?" "now..." "The body in the empty building is a male bioroid." "Identity is being determined." "Appears to be a suicide by firearm." "Forensics is en route." "body found is a male bioroid." "Identity is being determined." "All done." "See for yourself." " Did you test-fire it?" " 200 shots from 50 yards." "The grouping rate is off by less than a decimal point." "thanks." "Are you sure?" "after all." "though." "Want to get a bite to eat?" " Couldn't ask for more." " Then it's decided!" "but first..." "Just in time!" "Is this what you wanted to show me?" "tell me!" "Just hang on." "Okay." "Stand right there." "You can only see it for a few dozen seconds each day." "It's so pretty..." "I don't have a long life to live." "I haven't undergone longevity processing." "An "unprocessed" bioroid..." "Feeling death so nearby lets me appreciate fleeting moments." "Including this moment we're sharing together... right?" "Yeah. that frequency over the past year has exceeded Gaia's projections. then early intervention by ES.W.A.T. would be wise." "And?" "We finally managed to put the pieces together." "even you and Deunan are involved..." "I don't know how to thank you for dinner;" "I only did my job." "This is just how much I appreciate it." "right." "You mentioned it was your father's keepsake." "Yeah." "He was one shitty dad." "now..." "Taking rifles apart and rebuilding them instead of playing with blocks..." "Close-quarters combat with elite soldiers while playing house... don't you think?" "But I also owe it to those combat skills for getting me this far in life." "But him..." "He left for the war and never came back." "That much I know." "the hero." "Briareos was in the same unit." "He brought the gun back to me." "Thank you for entrusting me with such an important gun." "Wait!" "We're still supposed to sit tight..." "What for?" "Bioroids account for 80% of Olympus' population." "There are reliability issues in play here." "The time to act will come." "we remain prudent!" "Thanks." "I had a nice time tonight." "Me too." "you see..." " Sure." "Keep up the good work." " Goodnight." "Deunan." "You're... but lost the guy." "Attempting to locate now." "Tell me when you do!" "Who's the next target?" "Me." "The cops showed up at Tartaros as I was leaving." "Seems they've finally noticed that all the bioroids who've killed themselves were under my supervision." "They'll discover my connection to you before long." "Time is about up." "For both of us." "I see... huh?" "Assisted bioroid suicide..." "He's a suicidal bioroid too." "just like me." "I'm impressed he's lived this long." "I hear humans call Olympus a paradise. by acting as the cogs to carry out Gaia's intentions." "But bioroids with deadly impulses are anomalies in the system we call Olympus." "That uncertain behavior affects everything." "bioroids mustn't commit suicide." "And that's why you're killing them?" "Please don't treat me like some deranged murderer." "I'm simply granting the wishes of bioroids who realize they're defective and optimizing society." "and I obey the voices of mine to maintain this paradise for you humans." "for the sake of society." "Do you think so?" "The impulse driving me might very well be caused by the genes inside me that come from your father." "Briareos!" "You all right?" "So you had intended to catch him from the very start?" "A bioroid with my dad's genes was murdering people." "Olympus is too small for me to look the other way." "That administrator sided with Lark's way of thinking." "So he gave Lark a list of bioroids who were deemed seriously suicidal during regular counseling sessions." "he must've added his own name to that list." "though?" "You don't understand me at all." "Why did you come here?" "I could've handled this on my own." "I have to keep you safe." "I have to keep protecting you." "For how long?" "!" "Just how long do you have to keep protecting me?" "Partners are supposed to be on equal terms." "I have to watch your back and keep you safe." "It's always been that way..." "Then you can stop now." "I've had enough..." "Deunan..." "I can't have someone always shielding me..." "I can protect myself now." "no matter what."

"of our continuing evolution as a species." "Roger, all I'm saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map." "By saying that, you disregard the primary importance... of utility in human relationships." "Our ability-- Men's ability to read maps... to navigate, makes us useful." "You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map." "Are you saying that we women have an inferior sense of direction?" "." "Which way is north,Joyce, without looking around?" "." "What?" "." "You heard me." "Point north." "Quick." "North." "Quick." "North." "North." "North." " You're right." " Is he right?" "." " He's right." " Very impressive." "As she has throughout history... the female responds to the male who displays the most utility." "By honing those skills which make me useful..." "I stave off my inevitable obsolescence." "You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR?" "." "My VCR's been flashing 1 2:00 for three years." "What else, Roger?" "." "Oh, driving a standard shift." "Lifting heavy things." " Air guitar." " Yes, yes." "Go ahead and chuckle, okay?" "." "But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically-- and they will-- physical strength remains a primary utility." "Here's to brute strength then." "Roger, you're forgetting a very important male utility." "What's that?" "." "Barbecuing?" "." "Sex." "Yeah." "I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR." "Oh, I'll program your VCR, baby, like you never had it." "It's a top-loader." "You thinkyou can handle that?" "." "Interestingly, a group of scientists in England... just announced their intention to fertilize an egg... without the use of sperm cells." "I don't understand that." "Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern." "The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now... they were the only ones with access." "Within Christopher's lifetime, artificial insemination... will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit." "Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago." "In case they were downsized." "Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women... make love because we like it." " Not just to procreate." " Yes." " But are men absolutely necessary?" "." " I don't know that." "Think of the structure of the female genitalia." "Wait." "Wait." "Okay, got it." "What is the most sensitive part of the vagina?" "." "I can't believe we've gotten into this." "I thinkyou know this, Donovan." "It's the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1 559." "He thought it was India." "Oh, no!" "." "No!" "." "The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibers." "It's a far great concentration than in any part of the male body... even our fingertips." "It is the most efficient, pleasure-delivery system... ever devised by nature." "Now, ask yourself... why didn't the clitoris end up inside the vagina... so that intercourse would be naturally... compellingly, constantly pleasurable for a woman?" "." " I know the answer." " Yes, Ms. Maynard." "Because in primitive time, women died of childbirth." "So for intercourse to be too pleasurable... wouldn't make sense from a Darwinian standpoint." " I'm impressed." " Absolutely right." " What does that tell us?" "." " Evolution is looking out for us girls?" "." " Exactly." " That for women... intercourse and sexual fulfillment were never intended to intersect." "New technology just makes it official." "Future generations ofwomen will evolve clitorises-- "clitori, clitorati"" ""Clitorissimo."" "that are larger, longer, even more sensitive." "And a woman's ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate... will increase exponentially... as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility." " I'm confused and frightened." " You should be." "The species is not static." "We're in a constant state of flux." "Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only:" "So far it's been the only way to propagate the race." "Is there any species that just has one gender... that doesn't have male/female?" "." "Starfish, for one." "Next time I see a starfish, I'm gonna tell him to go fuck himself." "Come on." "You love it." "No, we don't." "So where are we headed?" "." "Equality?" "." "Equality, what is that?" "." "Is that a principle of nature?" "." "We all sit around reading subway maps together." "No." "Of course not." "Natural selection." "Now that is a principle of nature." "Selection." "Something has to lose." "Something has to be defeated... in order for something else to be selected." "So, what does this mean?" "." "We have to take orders from Joyce for the rest of lives." "That's right." "I like that." "It means that 1 0 or 1 5 generations from now... men will be reduced to servitude." "Technology and evolution will have combined... to exclude sperm from procreation... and our final destiny will be to lift couches... and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity... and our gender's last remaining utility is lost forever." "Forever." "Oh, my God, Roger." " What?" "." "I'm done." " Then I rest my case." "Thank you." "Love you people." "Yeah, this is good." "Jesus!" "." " No, just me." "How did you get in here?" "." " Where did you get those?" "." " Copied them from yours." " When?" "." " Last week when you sent me for bagels." "Give them to me." "Aren't you tired of constantly having to buzz me in here?" "." "See how your brain works?" "." "How does once a week turn into "constantly"?" "." "Actually, last week was two times, including, I believe, Friday... when you woke me out of a dead, pleasant sleep and demanded the use of my body." " You could have said no." " What?" "." "Are you kidding me?" "." "That was a call to action." "I dressed in 30 seconds like a volunteer fireman." "I was insane" "You should stop talking and listen to me." "I got something to say to you." "Oh, yeah?" "." " Words are my stock-in-trade,Joyce." " I know." "You can't just stop up the floodgate." " Put that down." " What?" "." " We need to stop this." " Stop what?" "." "God, I love watching you in the bathroom." "You're like an athlete after the game, scraping off the war paint." "I meant, we need to stop seeing each other." "Oh, really?" "." "This whole thing was a bad idea." "Generally, I have good judgment, but this time, right out the window." "This whole thing is a great idea." "Nobody knows about us." "We all go out, I sit there and... you know, a few hours later..." "I know I'm going to be the traveling salesman... and you're going to be the lonely housewife." "I need you to be an adult about this." "No scenes." "Joyce, I am your boy." "I'm your thoroughbred." "Adult." "Understand?" "." "Forget about the keys, okay?" "." "Just keep the keys with" "Tonight is our last night, so let's make it a good one." "Good-bye sex is never good." "Next week, we'll have "get back together" sex" " Can I stay the night?" "." " Roger, no." "Right." "Hi." "Can I have a Cosmo and a Maker's Mark on the rocks?" "." "Thanks." " Let's have a talk." " I'm sorry." "I'm with some people." "Let me guess." "You're relatively new at the company." "Maybe you moved to New York from somewhere else." "Somewhere friendly." "First you took pride in being alone." "Wanna make a name foryourself in the big city." "After a while, you started thinking how it might be nice to meet somebody." "Winter's not far off, and it gets lonely sometimes." "Okay." "And?" "." "And so you develop a crush on your supervisor... even though the other women in the office tell you..." "" Keep clear." "He's bad news."" " Why is he bad news?" "." " Because he's a player." "He's a guy who collects trophies." "Every woman who takes a job there ends up in bed with him." "And ifyou give in to temptation... you'll end up the punch line to a sordid joke by the water cooler." "Am I hot or cold?" "." " It's a good story." " It's a cliche." "So what do you do when you're not reducing the world?" "." "What's wrong with reduction, boiling things down to their essence?" "." "What's wrong with..." "seeing what's really going on?" "." "And what's really going on?" "." "What's the big revelation?" "." "Why should I tell you?" "." "Telling you isn't going to change anything." "For instance, I could tell you that what you think of as your personality... is nothing but a collection of Van aarticles." "I could tell you your choice of sexual partners this evening... was decided months ago by some account executive at Young Rubicam." "I could tell you that given a week to study your father... and the ways in which he ignores you..." "I could come up with a schtick you'd be helpless to resist." "Helpless." "I could tell you all that, but what would you do with the information?" "." "Are there women who fall for this stuff?" "." "I'm telling the truth as I see it." "You wanna go fuckyour boss?" "." "What business is it of mine." "He's not Daddy." "He's just a guy in a suit." "You feel compelled to contribute to the pathetic... heartbreaking predictability of it all, by all means" " Hi." " Hi." " You waiting for someone?" "." " Yeah, my fiance." " Hey, congratulations." " Thanks." "All right." "Congratulations." "Is he a kind man, your fiance?" "." "Does he treat you with respect?" "." "Not that it's any ofyour business, but, yes, he does." " That must make you nervous." " Why would that make me nervous?" "." "Oh, come on." "Look at the time." "Let's do the math together." "What are you talking about?" "." "Let me guess, low self-esteem... and premenopausal... concern led you to pursue a series of" "semiabusive relationships?" "." "But a recent dose of therapy has convinced you... that inner-beauty is what really matters, and... you really deserve that perfect partner who treats you with such respect." "Do you want me to call the bartender?" "." "Unless you're an idiot-- which I don't thinkyou are-- unless you're some kind of pathetic, self-help junkie... you and I know your guy's gonna wake up one morning, and" "he's gonna look around, figure out how old you are... and what you're really like, and that's the day he's gonna go out... for a pack of smokes and never come back." "By that time-- How you doing?" "." "If she doesn't see what's coming, I fucking weep for her." " Can I help you, sir?" "." " Hey." "No, thanks." "I'm good." "I said, "Can I help you, sir?" "'" " Where's that other guy?" "." "The" " He's home sleeping." "Okay." "Well, it's very important that I see Joyce Maynard right away, so" "Okay." "I understand." "Why don't I just leave her a note?" "." "It's important that I see her in person." "That's not gonna work, so why don't I... call you a cab and you go home and sleep it off?" "." "Why don't you go fucking home?" "." "Okay." "You know what?" "." "We don't understand each other." "I'm her boy." "I'm her boy, okay?" "." "Who are you?" "." "Who are you?" "." "I am the man who's gonna call the police ifyou don't get out of my lobby!" "." "an a an an a" "n" " Who is it?" "." "an n aan" "Which new campai gn?" "." "Get a name, please." "an" " T ell her I'm out." "a an" " T ell her I'm out." "Yeah." "This is, like, surly." "That's like, "What is that?" ". "" " And this is, like" " You want surly?" "." "This is like '90s, adorable normal guy." "I am that." " That's your problem." " That's your nightmare." "Hey, You going to Joyce's tonight?" "." "What?" "." " Didn't you get the E-mail?" "." " What E-mail?" "." "About the party?" "." "You going?" "." "Joyce throws a party, I don't ask questions." "I just show up." "She's on a conference call." "Ted, there's someone in my office." " Bye, Ted." " It's okay, Donna, you can" " Bye, Donna." " I'll call you back in five minutes." ""Five minutes"?" "." "This is a five-minute situation?" "." "Sit down." "I don't wish to sit down." "I wish to stand." "Did you try to get into my building last night?" "." "Why am I not invited tonight?" "." "Everyone will be there except me." "What is that going to look like?" "." " Let's reestablish some boundaries." " Let's not." "I'm your boss." "You work for me." "You write very good copy." "But I have a hundred resumes on my files for guys just like you." "But do those guys do that thing that I do?" "." "The thing that you like?" "." "I have explained to you that I do not wish to see you socially any longer." "Find a way to deal with it." "What's that supposed to do?" "." "Nick?" "." "Uncle Roger." "How's it going?" "." "What are you doing here?" "." "What?" "." "Oh." "I wanted to see where you work." " Yes." "No." "What are you doing here?" "." " What?" "." " You mean here in New York here?" "." " Yes." "I had an interview at Columbia, so Mom said I should lookyou up." " Sit down." " Okay." "That's what all the phone calls were about." " The phone calls?" "." " Yeah." "Your mom's been calling me." " Did you speak to her?" "." " We're playing phone tag." "She said you could show me what you do here." "She did?" "." "Well, there's not a whole lot to show you, Nick." "Really?" "." "Like, what do you do all day?" "." "What do I do all day?" "." "I sit here and think ofways to make people feel bad." " I thought you wrote for commercials." " I do... but you can't sell a product without first making people feel bad." "Why not?" "." "Because it's a substitution game." "You have to remind them that they're missing something from their lives." "Everyone's missing something, right?" "." " Well, yeah." "I guess." " Trust me." "And when they're feeling sufficiently incomplete... you convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill the void." "So, instead of taking steps to deal with their lives... instead ofworking to root out the real reason for their misery... they run out and buy a stupid-looking pair of cargo pants." " So... is it fun?" "." " It can be." "Look, I actually was about to call it a day." "That's cool." "We can go get something to eat." " Fine." "Let's get out of here." " Great." "You gave me a scare." "I thought you were having a narcoleptic episode." " What?" "." "When?" "." " Back at the office, you know?" "." "That's standing meditation." "It calms me down." "Thanks." "Why should you calm down?" "." "You're a teenager." "Thankyou." "My brain gets all sloppy when I'm stressed... so the meditation helps me focus and block out the bad stuff." " Bad stuff?" "." " Like fear and pain, you know?" "." "It's a visualization." "I picture a blue triangle, and that's me." "I put all the other stuff outside the triangle in a red field." "It works." "So, how's your folks?" "." " They got divorced." " What?" "." "Yeah." "My dad moved out." " You're kidding." "When did this happen?" "." " A while ago." "I haven't seen you since Grandma's funeral." " Jesus, Nick." "I'm sorry to hear that." " It's no big deal." "I still talk to my dad." "He calls from the road." "How's your mom doing?" "." "She's fine." "You know." " Surprised she didn't come with you." " Maybe she was afraid to see you... after what happened at the funeral." "That happened because your grandfather's a king-size prick." "All right?" "." "So when's your interview?" "." " It was today." " How'd it go?" "." "Fine, I guess." "I did the interviews 'cause Mom wants me to." " You're not interested in college?" "." " Why keep going to school... when anything I need to find out about I can look up myself?" "." "Dad didn't go to college." "By the time he was my age, he was on the road." " How is everything here?" "." " First-rate." "Thanks." "But... the good thing about college is you get to hang out a lot." " It's good for the social skills." " Yeah." "So... my mom says you're kind of, you know, like a ladies' man." " She said that?" "." " But she says it like it's a bad thing." "That sounds like her." " Is it true?" "." " What about you?" "." "You have a girlfriend?" "." "No." "I mean, you know, not yet." "Look." "I'm getting older, and there's a lot of stuff that I wish I could" "There's a lot of stuff that I haven't-- There's certain things I need to" "Yeah." "I thought you said you could look that stuff up." "No." "I mean, not this." "You don't understand." "I need someone who knows what to say" "I'm kidding you, Nick." "That's what college is for." "You find some football player who needs tutoring, and he helps you get girls." " You don't get it." " I get it." "I was 1 once, all right?" "." "What are you going to do ifyou don't go to college?" "." "Design software." "Maybe work on simulation games." "That's right." "You're the computer whiz." "There is money in that." "I already make money setting up systems for people." "I'm working on a web page for Granddad for his research." "What, the old man?" "." "He's actually spending money?" "." "Yeah, good money too." "It's funny, 'cause he yells at his computer like it's a person." "He's always going, "That bitch ate my file."" " Or, "She's playing hard to get."" " You spend a lot of time there?" "." "Yeah, nowadays." "I go over after school, and he comes over and eats dinner with us." "Wait a minute." "He eats dinner with you and Susan?" "." "Sure." "Since Grandma died, there's no one taking care ofhim." "Even after they split up, she went over every day to cook dinner." "I mean, every single day." "She was nuts." "Yeah, she was nuts." "So, Nick." "You need some help with the ladies?" "." "All right." "Here we go." "Get this straight." "Sex is everywhere, okay?" "." "It is all around us." "It's not some distant destination." "It's not Everest." "It is right here." "You have to attune yourself to it." "You have to bring yourself into alignment." "You have to find the zone, Nick." "Okay?" "." "Do that, and I promise you a whole world will open up." "Look at me." "I walk around in a state of total receptivity." " I'm like a fucking lightning rod." " All right." "Fine." "What do I do?" "." "For starters, let's get rid of that little meditation." "The blue triangle." "We don't block things out, Nicholas." "We let them in." "Let what in?" "." "There are millions ofwomen in this city." "Millions." "Most ofthem are blessedly unaware of the countless ways... in which their bodies are exposed to our eyes." "So, first, learn to read the sun, where it sits." "You'll notice... correlation between backlighting and transparency." "They wear light-colored clothing, underwear shows right through." "Bra straps, panty lines." "No need to stretch or squint." "It is there for us, okay?" "." "For example" "What?" "." "Are you blowing my cover like some construction worker?" "." " No." "I was just" " Use your head." "Step back." "Let her pass." "Okay?" "." "Give it a few seconds." "Watch this, and then camouflage the move." "Pay attention." "Checking of the watch is good." "Or of the pager." "Or looking for a street sign like you're lost." "You saw me do a combination." "Whatever it is, don't get caught." "Do you think women have a clue what goes on up here?" "." "What do they think, it's just stock quotes, drill bit sizes?" "." "They don't know shit!" "Let's keep it that way." " All right." " Watch." "What about your eyes?" "." " What?" "." "My eyes?" "." " Your eyes." "How's your vision?" "." " No, it's good." "It's 20-20." " Okay." "Peripheral?" "." " I don't know." "It's fine, I guess." " Fine's not gonna cut it." "You gotta workyour muscles like you're training for the fucking Olympics." " Yeah." " Up, down, left, right, et cetera." " Here." "Follow my finger." " Okay." " Tell me when it's gone." " All right." " Okay." "Stop." " That's it?" "." "You need a hundred, a hundred and ten degrees... before you're ready for the street." "I see behind me on a good day." " You play video games?" "." " Sure." "Good." "That stuff is training for the eyes." "Registering images in a split second." "It's invaluable." "Oh." "Right there." "Blue sweater." "Blue sweater." "Median." "Blue sweater." "Blue sweater." "That young lady just-- And you missed it." " I know." " In just a fraction of a second." "That's all." "But a trained eye can get in there for a look." "You have to learn to anticipate your opportunities, okay?" "." "Getting out of a cab, wind from a subway grate... or as you so sadly missed there, bending over to pick something up." "These are situations which require lightning reflexes." " I tell you, I can do that." " Your a step slow right now, Nick." "Hey, no wonder." "I remember what it's like out there." "No interaction." "No face time." "Look at me." "Every day I have the street, the subway, the ATM line... the office, the gym, the" "What have you got?" "." "Young people sitting in cars in Ohio." "Wistful glances at the stoplight." "No, I go to school." "That's interaction." "Okay." "Let's work with that." "The high school building is four stories, if memory serves." " It's five stories now." " Whatever." "It's multistory, and that means stairs, which is good." "Free yourself from the tyranny of eye level." "Come here." "Use the angles." "High for cleavage." " Low for the skirts." " All right." "Remember, there's no shame in calling on an old standby, right?" "." "Dropping of the pencil." "Tying of the shoe.Just don't telegraph it." "What about reflective surfaces?" "." "Mirrors, windows?" "." "What, in school?" "." "No, there's no mirrors." "What about that ugly glass trophy case that" " Yeah, that's there." " Well, use it." "It's perfect." "Go stand over there for a second." "Keep going." "Keep going." "Stop." "Ifyou can't stare directly, turn your back and use the glass." "Hi, gorgeous." "Remember, angle of incidence equals angle of reflectives." "In other words, ifyou can see them, they can see you." "So be alert." " This is really complicated." " It's rocket science." " You were smart to ask for help." " I have a good one." "When they're wearing short sleeves... and they raise their arms to fix their hair, you can see in that gap there." "Now, see?" "." "That shows me you're using your faculties." " Don't they know we can see in there?" "." " Of course they do." "Breasts are very sensitive." "They know when they're exposed to air." "Are women gonna walk around with their hands clamped to their sides?" "." "No." "Their hair has to be dealt with eventually... and it is our job, it is ourvocation to be ready." "All right." "So all this looking is fine, but how do you take the next step?" "." "I need to meet someone." "Ifyou can't see how the two things are related... there's nothing I can do foryou." " Wait." "Relax." "Come on." " You think we are kidding around here?" "." " Do you think this is a joke?" "." " No." "Why do you think I'm here?" "." " You have got to make sex a presence..." " I'm sorry." " in your mind, in your life..." " All right." " in your spirit." " I'm sorry." " All right." " What?" "." "No." "I don't smoke." "Better learn." " Okay." " Come on." "Here." "Wait here." "Okay." "Stay on this side of me." "Excuse us." "In, in, in." "Go, go, go." "Hurry." "Oh, yeah." "Okay." "We're in." "Good." "So, first, a survey of the terrain." "Technically, it's still happy hour." "Your casual drinkers have yet to pack it in." "Lots of groups." "Not exactly ideal for our purposes, but not impossible." "So, we need to make an impression." "Send out a signal that back here is the place to be." "All right." "What do you do?" "." "What do you say?" "." "Who cares?" "." "You're overcomplicating it." "You spend the whole night sitting here thinking of the perfect line... what good is that?" "." "Just make contact." "Separate yourself from the rabble." "Watch this." "Hey!" "Roses." "Rosebud." "Hi." "Come here." "Come here." "Come here." "Come here." "Hi." "Could you" "Could I get you to take a" " Yeah." " Hey." " Nick here thinks you're beautiful." "If he's got such good taste, what's he doing hanging out with you?" "." "Good question." "Nick?" "." " Because he's my uncle?" "." " How awful foryou." "And so on." "No big deal, right?" "." "Now she's aware of our presence, and we can plot our strategy." "I'm gonna get us some drinks." "While I'm there, think of a hook." " What?" "." "A hook?" "." " A hook." "A line." "An opening salvo." "Any minute now, Rosebud is going to be standing right here..." "looking down at you, and you're going to have one chance... to either hit it out of the park or strike out miserably." "Be ready." "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit." "Hello, Nick." "Your uncle says you have something to tell me... that will absolutely blow my mind." " Oh, yeah?" "." " Yeah." "Those were his exact words." "Is he playing a little joke on us?" "." "No, no." "He's serious." "I mean, he's... totally serious." " Tonight." " Sorry." "Thanks." "As I was" " Tonight." " Right, I was saying that..." "I was saying that tonight is a" "Tonight is a very important night for me." "I was just telling her that we made a bet." " A bet?" "." " Uh-huh." "We made a bet for $1,000." "That I can get somebody to..." "like, fall in love with me." "Really?" "." "Love." "That's a hard thing to verify, don't you think?" "." "No, I think we can do it." "I'm confident we can." "A thousand dollars?" "." "That's not exactly mind-blowing... but it's not the worse line I'll hear tonight." "What?" "." "Really?" "." "Yeah." "Good job, Nick." " So, do we rate a sit-down?" "." " I'm waiting for a friend." "I'll run it by her when she shows up." "Get her over here." "There's cash at stake." "Ifwe do, who sits with who?" "." "Ladies' choice." "Natural selection." "I wanna sit with him." "Yes, yes." "What is this?" "." "Rum and coke." "I told him to mix it weak." "We got a long way to go here." " Okay." "I don't drink." " You kidding me?" "." "Take a drink." " I don't put alcohol into my body." " You drink that drink." "Loss of inhibition is crucial to your success tonight, okay?" "." "Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands ofyears." "You thinkyou're gonna sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel?" "." "Please." "All right." "Now, you did one very good thing." "You lied." "You made something up." "Keep that part ofyour brain working." "We get those girls over here, your first instinct is gonna be to open up." "To tell the truth." "Fight it!" "Just keep it interesting." "Play up your novelty." "You're a 1 6-year-old in a bar." "Why?" ". "My father owns the bar." You got a month to live." "You're an actor researching-- I don't know." "Improvise." "Next, check the time." "What time is it?" "." "It's about 72." " Do you have a MedicAlert bracelet?" "." " No, it's instructions." "I'm having my body cryogenically frozen if I die prematurely." "All right." "Leave it." "It's spastic enough to be charming." "So, the time. 70." "We've got nine hours until closing time." "An eternity." "Look at me, Nick, and answer me this question." "All right." "Who is the greatest basketball player in the history of the game?" "." " Do you mean ever?" "." " Come on." "This is easy." " Michael Jordan?" "." " Michael Jordan." "Why was he the greatest?" "." "Because he paced himself." "Because he always had something left at the finish." "Magic Johnson called it "winning time." See those guys over there?" "." "Yeah." "Those guys think they're kicking ass." "Believe me, it is early." "We are a long way from winning time, so pay attention." " Okay." " You say you want it." "Ifyou really wanted it... you'd be in here, suffering the tortures of the damned with those guys." " What?" "." " There's a big difference between... being horny and being willing to put in the time night after night" "I want it." "Okay?" "." "I go to high school." "You don't think that's torture?" "." "This is a lot of information." "I'm giving you the keys to the kingdom." "Yeah, I know." "How many boys your age get an opportunity like this?" "." "Yes." "So, stickyour finger down your throat." "Drink ice water, call it gin" "I don't care what you do." "Be ready to dive in at the moment of truth." "So... how often do you, like... you know, like, get somebody to go home with you?" "." "Every night." "Bullshit." "Just because you're not having sex, doesn't mean the rest of us... are sitting around playing cribbage." "What's cribbage?" "." " What?" "." "What?" "." " Here we go." "Here we go." "Here they come." "This is so stupid." "They're, like, twice my age." "Champions refuse to lose." "Be like Mike." "Here we are." "As promised." "For one drink." " I'm Andrea, and this is Sophie." " I'm Roger." "This is my nephew, Nick." " Hi." " He really is, like, 1 6." " I told you." " Sit down." "How'd you get in here, Nick?" "." "It's funny you should... ask me that." "'Cause we were, before, discussing it, and" "Neveryou mind." "I'm enjoying the air of intrigue Nick brings to our booth." " Cheers, everyone." " I told Sophie about your little bet." "She thinks you're full of it." "There's nothing little about a thousand dollars." "He's got to get someone to fall in love with him?" "." " A woman." " A woman?" "." "Does it have to be a woman?" "." "What if some guy takes a shine to you?" "." "I guess that would count, 'cause we never discussed what gender" "If Nick is willing to exploit that little loophole, he can have the money." " What were you guys talking about?" "." " I don't know." " What were we talking about?" "." " We were talking about women." "Specifically, the pleasure to be derived from admiring the female form." "Imagine what it feels like to be admired all day long." " Really." " You'd rather be completely anonymous?" "." " Not completely anonymous." " Not anonymous." "I myselfwould welcome the sensation of a hundred pair of eyes... caressing my... booty as I walk down the street." "Guys always say that." "Yeah. "We'd love it ifwomen were always staring."" "We would." "You would love it if no woman ever listened to a word you were saying... and just kept her eyes locked on your chest oryour crotch?" "." "If it led to having sex all the time, I would not mind." "You could deal with never being heard, never being taken seriously?" "." "If I had something that needed saying, I would wait until right after sex." "Seriously, for a second, just stop saying the obvious thing." "Think what it would be like if on every bus... there were huge pictures ofyour naked body." " And on every billboard" " Magazine." "That's right-- it was just about your body." "There was so much time and money and energy spent obsessing and analyzing... trying to get a glimpse ofyour body, that soon it felt like... the world had forgotten about everything else... and you end up feeling... disconnected from your own body, like it's not even yours." "Ifyou're really serious about avoiding the male gaze" " If the goal is anonymity" " I never said the goal was anonymity." "Here's a little suggestion, okay?" "." "Putting on makeup." "Styling your hair." "Wearing a killer outfit and coming to a place like this on a Friday night." "That's when it gets interesting, because at a certain point..." " you start internalizing the male gaze." " Not the best course of action." "Male gaze." "Madison Avenue." "Fucking patriarchy." "Whatever it is, it's done its number on you." "Do you thinkyou have any control over who you find attractive?" "." " Of course we do." " I think not, and I'll prove it to you." "Ask any woman, "What's the single most attractive quality a man can possess?" "'" " And what do they invariably answer?" "." " Sense of humor." " Sense of humor." " Sense of humor is huge." "Definitely." "And yet, if two lean, mean, play-by-their-own-rules... motorcycle-riding men strolled up to this booth... and beat the shit out of us two humorous guys, right... and asked you out for a ride, you would be weak at the knees." " No way." " Weak at the knees." "Well, actually, guys who ride cycles are pretty sexy." " Thank you." "You see?" "." " Sorry." "The fact is that touchy-feely, weepy, in-touch-with-their-feelings guys... make you sick-- you're repulsed by them." "Give me the Ice Age, okay?" "." "Survival of the fittest." "No mixed signals." "No bullshit." "Just the meanest, hairiest bastard wins all the time." "Let's change the subject right now." "You know, it's interesting." "All this looking is so masculine." "I mean, you guys are just about the visuals." "Really." "Why is it that when I'm going down on a guy" " Sophie!" " No, really." "Why is it that when I'm doing my thing... why is it that men always insist on watching?" "." "Why can't you just close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling?" "." "It's not the most flattering activity for a woman." "I'm not sure that that's a-- Maybe we can help." "Nick, jump in here." "A woman is doing her thing." "Why do we have to watch?" "." "Well, maybe to make sure that it's actually happening?" "." "I'll buy that." "Make sure we're not hallucinating." "And maybe to file it away, in case it's a long time before the next one." "Two excellent answers." "Perhaps you'd elaborate on the filing it away part?" "." "File it away for what?" "." " Oh." "I don't know." " Come on, Nick." "We're finally treading on some familiar territory here." "Mom's in the kitchen making Jell-O with fruit." " You lockyourself in the bathroom" " Don't sweat it, Nick." "I grew up with three brothers." "The closets were pornography museums." "More visuals." "You're right about the visual thing." "It always drives me nuts when I hear a guy... going on about something a girl does that's supposed to be so sexy." " Like what kind of thing?" "." " Like how she flips her hair." "How she stands with one foot to the side." "It could be anything." " What's wrong with that?" "." " Because that's nothing." "That's just something she does." "And she probably only does it because she saw it in a movie." "It's not their real stuff." "All that stuff-- the hair flips, the mannerisms, the catch phrases." "They add up to the personality." "So they are what's real." "Yeah, but it's all the outside stuff." "That's fine in the beginning." "You need the outside stuff." "You need, like, the reasons to be in love." "But you can get past that to the part... where the little tricks don't mean anything." "I say you are attracted to what is in front ofyou." "End of story." "How romantic." "It takes years and years together." " Yeah?" "." " I can't describe it exactly... but it's like there's nothing she can do." "All her usual ways of hooking you in have no effect... and yet you're still in love." "It's like the act is over... and you get to the part she's been hiding." "And she's been hiding it because she thinks that's the part... that's gonna blow it or make you leave or get bored... but you get to that part, and you're still there." "And you're even more in love." "Wow." "Have you met my nephew?" "." "His name is Jesus." "How old are you, Nick?" "." "I'm 1 6." "Stay strong, Sophie." "There's a thousand of my dollars at stake here." "Are we still on a one-drink limit?" "." " I think we can have one more." " Yeah, I'm in." "Great." "Scootch out of there, Sophie." " Who wants what?" "." " Sophie knows what I like." " Just some ice water, please." " Okay, that's charming." "Nick?" "." "A player might consider taking advantage of this time alone with Andrea." "Andrea." "Yeah." "You can take your time." " Hi." " Hey." " What's the deal with your uncle?" "." " I don't know." "This is really the first time I've hung out with him socially." " Do you live in the city?" "." " I live in Ohio with my mom." "She and Roger don't really speak anymore." "Ohio?" "." "Do you have a girlfriend back home?" "." "No." "Not right now." "Nick, can you do me a favor?" "." "Okay." "Pick that up." " Protein for stamina." " Let's switch, Andrea." " Okay." "I suppose it's your turn." " Yeah, good idea." "Keep things fresh and help us fight that second-round lag." " What's that?" "." " That's a conversational lag... that often occurs after the ordering of the second round." "Actually, Nick was telling me about you and your relationship with his mother." " No secret there." "She's my sister." " Your relationship with her." "Not your relationship to her." "Nick says they don't speak." "That's terrible." "I mean, you need your family." " Yeah." " What do you think happened, Nick?" "." "My mom's a lot older than Roger." "Like nine years." "You must have been quite the little surprise, Roger." "A nine-year gap doesn't necessarily mean an unplanned pregnancy." "But, apparently, I did come as a bit of a surprise." "Really?" "." "I didn't know that." "That doesn't explain why you and your sister don't get along." "Let's just say we don't have much in common." "My mom says that when Roger was little, he could talk himself out of anything." "He never got in trouble, even when he got caught." " She called him "Roger Dodger."" " That's perfect foryou." "There's nothing wrong with a high verbal ability." "Nick's got it too." "I wanna be like Granddad." "He almost never talks." "But when he does, everyone kind of leans forward." "You know, my dad's like that." "The difference being that what my father has to say is usually... some variation on, "Get me another scotch."" " Like father, like son?" "." " No, like daughter." " I get my" " Whose daughter?" "." " What do you mean, "like daughter?" "'" " No joke." "Mom keeps a bottle in the laundry basket." "She has foryears." " Oh, God, Nick." " That's awful." "She's not a wreck or anything." "She's just" " What do you call it?" "." " High-functioning." " Yeah." "That's Susan all right." "She's always functioned at a high level." " She's just really high, you know?" "." " How can you joke about that?" "." "You can joke about anything that has to do with yourself." "It's a basic human right." "Isn't that right, Nick?" "." "I think that's constitutional or something." "Freedom of speech." "Freedom to joke." "You know what?" "." "I need the ladies' room." "Let's let the boys discuss these new revelations." " Good idea." " I don't" " All right." "All right." "Be careful." "We'll be waiting." "Are you sure you want to get laid tonight?" "." "I thought you would like to know that." "I am not the one who is here to learn." "For most of us, this is a forgetting place." " All right?" "." " We were talking about Granddad." " I figured" " You felt qualified to jump in... and expound on that particular topic?" "." "That's right." "I'm sorry." "You're an expert on that subject now." "You guys are joined at the fucking hip." "I wanted to keep the conversation going." "There are four of us in this booth." "Think of it as a game of bridge." "In bridge, you have two sets of partners, okay?" "." "Ifyou hope to become the kind of man... that other men choose to go into battle with... you have to learn to read your partner." "It should have been obvious I don't want to talk about the family tonight." "A little while ago... we were listening to Sophie describe herself giving a blow job." "Don't you think that's slightly more fertile ground... than what's at the bottom ofyour mother's laundry basket?" "." "Pull your weight and steer the conversation back... to something in the same universe as sex." "Remember, the thing that was supposed to be the primary focus this evening?" "." "Don't make me resort to the fail-safe." " Where are you going?" "." " Excuse me." "No." "Bad idea." "Ah,Jesus." "Everything okay over there?" "." "No." "I can't go with you standing there." " Why not?" "." " I just can't." "Get out of here." "Can't go through life with a shy bladder, Nick." "You're gonna be spending a lot of time in bars." "Most of them will have restrooms just like this one." "Fine." "Then you go." "You go first." "I don't have to." "Just came in to rinse my hands." "Forget it." " Let's go, kid." " No, look." "I'm with somebody." "Uncle Roger, could you please tell him?" "." "He doesn't" " How you doing?" "." " No, I don't know him." " Bedtime, kid." "Let's go." " Uncle Roger." " Come on, kid." "Out." " Could you please" "He's my" " Uncle Roger!" "Really, go back in there." "Look, I'm an actor." "I'm researching a role." " Good luck with that." " Okay." " You okay?" "." " Oh, hey." "I guess I should've waited to use the bathroom." "Okay." "Unless the novelty of hanging out with prom king here has worn off..." "I suggest we get a bottle and find someplace with a view." " All right." "Let's find a view." " Let's find a view." "Ladies." " That was close." " That's good." "Thank you." " This is the finest." " That's good.Just a little bit." "Thankyou." "Just a little." "That's good." "That's good." " How do you like the wine?" "." " I like it." "It makes my chest feel warm." " Roger, you're a bad influence." " Yes, I am." " Alcohol, women of loose morals." " And gambling." "That's right." "Gambling." "I don't see Nick complaining." "Although I have to say, forwomen ofloose morals... conversation has been pretty tame so far tonight." "With the notable exception of Sophie's oral presentation." "Shut up." "It'd be helpful for Nick to hear more of the female perspective of the sex act." " Do you agree?" "." " God." "Where to begin?" "." "Nick will get us started." "Nick?" "." "Go ahead." "Ask away." "Any question you like." "Keep it interesting." "All right." "I guess I'd like to know what your first time was like." " That's what you come up with?" "." " That is a great question." "Thankyou." "I'll go first." " It was my junioryear." " High school or college?" "." "High school." "His name was Bobby Rushton, and we weren't even dating." "I just picked him out one day and decided he was gonna be the one." " Why did you pick him?" "." " Sense of humor?" "." "Ha-ha." "He was funny, as I remember, but... it was something more than that." "It was like this vibe." "I knew he would be nice." "He wasn't very popular, and I didn't think he'd brag about me to his friends." " That's half the fun." " Well, he didn't." "He was just as nervous as I was." "Which is part of the reason that I picked him... because I think I wanted to have some control." " You know?" "." " You were his first as well then?" "." "Yeah." "In fact, I went with him to go get the condoms." "We biked all the way across town... because we were so afraid someone might see us." " We planned the thing for a month." " I love this story." " Yes." " So, where did you, you know?" "." "It was in my house, in my room." "My parents were away for the weekend." " Did you bleed?" "." " The usual." "Not too bad." "Wait." "So it hurts the first time?" "." "Well, it really hurts... that first second." "And then after that, it's just new." "You know?" "." "It's like this new feeling foryour body." "So how was he?" "." " Matter of seconds?" "." " No way!" "He kept going like a champ." "I had to ask him to hurry up, actually." " Ow!" " Yeah." "He did admit to masturbating like crazy beforehand so he wouldn't just" " Like he wasn't doing that already." " No, he sounds like a nice guy." " He sounds like a dream come true." " He was a nice guy." "He's a cop now." "He's got four kids." "Early sex is an absolute humiliation." "Oh." "Speak foryourself." "My first time was wonderful." "Oh, yeah?" "." "Let me take a wild guess." " An older gentleman." " Right you are." " Married?" "." " Right again." "How old were you?" "." "I was 1 9." "Freshman in college." "Guess you didn't spend a lot of time getting to know your roommates." "No." "No, I don't even remember what they look like." "So what happened?" "." "Well, believe it or not, he ended up staying with his wife." "What are the odds?" "." "What did you do when you realized he wasn't going to leave her?" "." "Well, Nick, I got over it eventually... and vowed not to repeat the mistake." " And how's that going?" "." " Some months are better than others." " Uh-huh." " Sophie" " I didn't say anything." " What can I do?" "." "They're all married." "I promised I would not be a nag." "It's okay." "You, hotshot." "Tell us about your first time." "Actually, I think Nick's story is much more interesting." "Nick?" "." " This I want to hear." " Yeah." "Nicholas?" "." "Well, this is hard to admit, but..." "I've never had sex." "You're a virgin?" "." "Yes." "That is so sexy." "Am I right?" "." " It's hot." " Really?" "." " Yeah." " Do you have a girlfriend?" "." " No." "Never." " Have you ever kissed a girl?" "." "Yeah, a couple of times in junior high playing truth or dare... but they weren't like real kisses." "No tongue?" "." "I guess, but more than that." "They were just stiff." "Not like I imagined that they should be." "Nick, come here for a second." "Oh, my God." "Now, don't fall in love with me or anything, okay?" "." "That was just to get you through junioryear." "All right." "I couldn't resist being your first kiss." "That's right." "Forever and ever, you will be his first kiss." " Get away from me." " Come on." "For symmetry." "No, not a chance." "Nick." " How do you feel?" "." " My heart is beating really fast." " He knows just what to say." " Is he a good kisser?" "." "Oh, he's gonna break some hearts." "How 'bout down below, Nick?" "." "Any, you know, vertical displacement?" "." "Leave him alone." "How you doing, Casanova?" "." " I'm okay." " Sure?" "." " Yeah." " Okay." "Look, I confess." "I'm married." "I keep my ring in my wallet." "Even ifyou were married." "Yeah, yeah." "So, Nick." "Take a moment to file this away for later." "You understand what I mean?" "." "Just think, Sophie." "In the next six months, every time Nick jerks off, he'll be picturing you." " Don't be an asshole." " I don't do that, okay?" "." "It's true." "Okay, so I'm not married." "What's important is the emotional unavailability, right?" "." " That's what you look for." " I'm leaving." "And, Sophie, you've even provided young Nicholas here... with a particular image to help structure his fantasy." "Fuckyou, Roger." "Do you have a place to stay tonight?" "." " He's staying with me." " You can come with us." "He's with me." "Unless you're finally ready to do something constructive." "Like help Nick have an orgasm, huh, Sophie?" "." " It's time to cut your uncle loose." " You're disgusting." "We're outta here." " You take care." " Andrea?" "." " Oh, disgusting." " Fuckyou." "Ladies?" "." "I" "Was it something he said?" "." "Asshole!" "But no." "Don't I-- Okay, here's your chance." "What are you talking about?" "." "Why did you say that?" "." "Good cop, bad cop." "I planted the seed." "Now go and close the deal, all right?" "." " I can't go" " You thinkyou'll get a better chance?" "." "Go, for Christ's sake, and remember the primary objective." "Go, go, go!" "Run, Nick, run." "Sophie!" "Hey, Sophie." "I'm sorry." "Don't worry about it." "It's not your fault he's a jerk." "I know." "I wish it didn't have to just end like this." "We're going now." "I suggest you call offyour bet and go home." "The bet thing was just bullshit, okay?" "." "I know." "You take it easy, okay?" "." "Look, I want us to" "Don't spoil the wonderful time we had tonight." "You know?" "." "This is to remember me by." "Take care, Nick." "We need more men like you." "Hey." "What happened?" "." "What?" "." "Nothing happened." "So you're oh for one." "She wasn't gonna go for it." "I couldn't ask her." " You gonna sleep with Sophie tonight?" "." " It was obvious." "She was not" "Are you going to have sex with Sophie tonight?" "." " No." " Then I repeat: you're oh for one." "You need to learn how to finish." "Anyone can get halay home." "We're switching to plan B. Hey!" "I think a change ofvenue will improve your luck." "Wait!" "Hold up!" "Stop!" "Do me a favor." "Stay here till we're inside." " So where we goin'?" "." " Finish up." " We're going to a party." "Come on." " Whose party is it?" "." "Fuck!" "Over here." "Over here." "Look at this." "Beautiful glasswork." "Whoa, whoa." "Why we running?" "." "That doorman has a hateful personality." "Listen up." "It's gonna be a whole new dynamic up there." "Stay focused." "Don't talk to any guys." "That's a definite rally-killer." "Keep moving at all times." "No hiding in the bathroom." "Here we are." "Hey." " Look who it is." " Hey, Chris." "How are you?" "." "This is my nephew Nick." "Chris." " How are you?" "." " How ya doin'?" "." "Wait." "Do you have a bathroom I could use?" "." " A what?" "." " A bathroom I could use?" "." "A what?" "." "I've been trying to shake this woman all night." "This is Donovan." "I'm the only one here that's my age." "Where did you think we were going, the junior prom?" "." "I think I'm drunk." "Come here." "Nick." "Do you know where we are?" "." " I thinkyou said Greenwich Street." " We're in winning time." " Okay." "Winning time." " Right." "Okay?" "." "It's a little harder to recognize than when you're in a bar... but the concept is the same." "There's an incredible moment that happens when a party... passes its apex, its peak." "As if by magic, suddenly every person in the room... is acutely aware of the time." "It is at that moment that the fear hits." " What fear?" "." " The fear of the empty apartment." "Oh." "Yeah." "That is more than most people can stand." "Desperation creeps into the room like a fog." "Eyes begin to search the crowd anxiously." "Standards are drastically lowered." "I mean, it's palpable." " You know what I'm saying?" "." " Not really." "What I'm saying is, you have a real shot here, Nick." "This is the moment that separates a true champion." "You remember the reason you first asked for my help?" "." "The primary goal?" "." " Yes." " Then let me help you... to achieve it." "All right." "So." "We need to scope out who the drinkers are." "Every party needs a pace car, a rabbit." "Always look for the girls who are two drinks ahead of everybody else." "How do you do that?" "." "Listen for inappropriately loud bursts of laughter... or scan the crowd for somebody spilling a drink." "Check the dance floor for somebody working out of their zone." "How about them?" "." "They seem pretty drunk." "Good afternoon." "God, this is so embarrassing." "I don't know how this happened." "I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry." "Hey, Donna." " Hi." " How ya doin'?" "." " Well" " Good." "Listen." "This is my nephew I want to introduce." "Nick." " Hi." " I saw you earlier at the office." "Hi, Nick." "Donna." " Nice to see you." " You too." " Roger's showing you the town?" "." " Yeah, some of it." "Yeah, Nick's visiting." "Why don't you tell Donna about the bet we got going." " See you in a second." " Huh?" "." "Wait." "What bet?" "." "What's he got you involved in?" "." " Oh, it's nothing." "Really." " What is this?" "." "Oh, that." "I don't even know." " It's cute." " Thanks." "I don't even use it." "Eighty." "Hot." "Eighty degrees." "That is hot." "Yeah." "We made a bet whether I can get someone to fall in love with me tonight." "Wow." " For how much?" "." " A thousand bucks." "Get outta here." "Well, so, how's it going so far?" "." "Excuse me." "Thank you." "Thankyou." "Cheers." "Yeah." "To love." "Oh, hello." "You're not the infamous Roger Swanson I've heard so much about, are you?" "." "That's me." "Yes." "Joyce says of all of her copy people, you are the funniest." " I'm a laugh riot." " No, she says that." " Why would I lie?" "." " What's your name?" "." "I'm sorry." "I haven't introduced myself." "I'm Patricia.Joyce and I went to college together." "Nice to meet you." "Patty, would you do me a favor?" "." "Sure." "I can certainly try." "See that kid right over there in the corner?" "." " Yeah." " That's my nephew Nick." " Oh, really." "He's so cute." " He is." " He's still a virgin." " No!" " Swear to God." " Poor boy." "How old is he?" "." "He's 1 6." "Now, listen." "My time with Joyce taught me that older women fuck like jackrabbits... and Nick is at his absolute peak sexually." "So, I figure, the two ofyou go at it... it would be like Frazier and Ali." " Right?" "." " Something is wrong with you." "No, I'm serious." "What do you say?" "." " As a kind of a..." " I'm gonna" "Red Cross moment or" "Okay." "Nice to see you." " How's it goin' over here?" "." " Hey, Roger." " Now, who let you in?" "." " Who let me in?" "." "You let me in." "What?" "." "You know, Nick here is a real ladies' man." "You're luc he's spending all this time with you." "Yeah, that's me." "The luc lady." "Actually..." "I think I had too much to drink." " Uh-oh." " Would you like to lie down?" "." "Nick, Nick." "Excellent idea." "Good one." "Come on, darling." "Let's find you a place to lie down." "Oh, no.Just when things were getting good." "Things are still good." " Come on." " Where are we going?" "." " We're going." " We are?" "." "We're going right around this little corner." " Here we go." " I forgot to eat." "Nick, stay with us." "Keep close." " Okay." " Good." " All right." "So I'll just" " Oh, excellent." " Are you all right?" "." " I'll just leave you two together." " Okay." " No, don't go." " You're in capable hands, believe me." " What are you doing?" "." "Hang on a second." "What are we gonna do?" "." "We are not gonna do anything..." "at all." "I'll be on guard duty, okay?" "." "You need to work fast." "If I were you, I'd switch to the two-minute offense." "What are you talking about?" "." "Wait, Uncle Roger" "Love you." "Don't go." "Oh, let me introduce you." "This is Donovan Lehman, Christopher Weland... our two collaborators." "I think they're gonna be perfect foryou." "You told me you wanted something a little bit magic, a bit surreal." "Hey, hey, Donovan." "How are you, man?" "." " Roger." "Hey, man." " How are you?" "." "Hey, Chris." "Look at you two." "You seem like the happy couple." "What's your secret?" "." "Sorry." "You know what they say about dipping the pen in the company ink." " I guess so." " I know what they say." "Yes, they do." "All right." "Look at you." "Go to sleep." "I think we got sidetracked there." "Seriously, Donovan, with all the pressure facing men today... it's got to be tough to maintain a relationship." "I don't know." "Let's ask a man." "Chris?" "." "Traditional male roles are being tossed aside... before we have any chance to make an internal shift, don't you think?" "." "Our culture seems designed to emasculate and infantilize." " That's a strong statement." " Why don't you go and... help yourself to some food?" "." "It's particularly true in a situation when the woman is... two decades older than the man." " Roger!" " Approximately." "We were having this discussion the other day" "Is it your mission in life to humiliate yourself?" "." "It's more of a hobby really." "I want you to leave right now." "You want me to leave and go where?" "." "Think very hard about what you're doing." "Go where,Joyce?" "." "Where do you want me to go?" "." "You're through." "You lied to me." "You are a liar." " I want you to leave." " Who's he?" "." "Who the fuck is he?" "." "Who the fuck is he?" "." "Who is he?" "." "What" "Don't get comfortable." "Don't ever settle in like you own the place." "Trust me." "There's always something gaining on you." "And here they come now." "Hey, guys." "Good luck." "Sorry." "Take care now." "Let me get a coat here." "Take care." "Nice to see you." "Thanks, Joyce!" "Bye-bye!" "What just happened?" "." "Excuse me." "I'm sorry." "That didn't go exactly as I had hoped." "What happened in there?" "." "What were you shouting about?" "." "Doesn't matter." "What about you?" "." " Did you get it on with Donna?" "." " No." " Why not?" "." " Are you kidding?" "." "She was passed out!" "Nick, you have had one golden opportunity after another this evening." "You haven't exactly shown yourself to be a clutch player." " Hey!" " What happened in there?" "." " Are you drunk?" "." " I'm going home." " Where do you need to be dropped?" "." " What?" "." "That's it?" "." "We've had a full evening." "I thinkyou're ready to fly solo." " You said there was a fail-safe." " What fail-safe?" "." "Back at the bar." "You said there was a fail-safe." "Did I?" "." " I don't thinkyou want the fail-safe." " No, I want it!" "Just stop." " You sure?" "." " Yes, I'm sure." "I'm not going home like this, all right?" "." "I'm sure." "Okay?" "." "You know what?" "." "You're right." "Why give into a slump?" "." "Let's go down swinging." " Yes." "Like Michael Jordan." " Right." "That's the wrong sport, but I like your enthusiasm." "Let's go." "All right." "Thanks." "Come on." "Come on." "Hey." "Two of us." "That's 200." "One... two." " Is he a minor?" "." " I'm an actor." "I'm researching a role." "It's a hundred to fuck me." "Tip." "Come on." "Wait.Just slow down." "Please slow down." " We're goin' home." " Hey!" "Hey!" " What are you doing?" "." " Easy, easy." "Get outta here." "Motherfucker, get off me!" "Motherfucker, get off me!" " Get off me!" " Get outta here!" "Nick!" "Nick." "Nick, don't worry about it." "It's okay." "It's all right!" "Nick!" "Chill!" "It's all right, man." "Jesus." "Fucking booze." "Come on." "Come here." "Jesus." " Don't tell" "Go to sleep." "Okay." "an n n n n n a a an an n a a" "Oh, my God." "There's coffee." "I don't drink caffeine." "Yes." "I keep losing my balance." " That'll pass." " Yeah." "So, Nick... tell me more about Columbia." "What did you think of the campus?" "." "I don't know." "It was fine." "Did you..." "look around the neighborhood?" "." "Maybe you could tell me about the different things you saw on your tour." "I'm sorry I got so mad." "You're what?" "." "Last night." "You were trying to teach me the way that things are done, and I" "I guess I kept fucking it up." "So" "So I shouldn't have gotten so mad." "I'm... sorry I disappointed you." "Uh-huh." "Okay." "Anyone can have an off night." "It's happened to me." "You said you score every night." "I say a lot of things." "Look, Nick." "Call your mom, will you?" "." "I'm sure she would like to hear from you." "Forget it." "I'll see her when I get home." "Call her anyway." "Come on." "I'll leave you to it." "I guess I'll see you at the next funeral." "Why?" "." "Who's sick?" "." "What?" "." "No, I'm kidding." "Me too." "All right." "Good-bye, Uncle Roger." "See you, Nick." "Don't tip." "I got it." "How long does it usually take to get to the airport?" "." " About a half hour, sir." " Right." "You see Angela today?" "." " How come?" "." " No bra." "I swear to God." "That's unhealthy." "They're gonna sag when she gets older." "Fuck 'em up." "So go tell her, Nick." "What?" "." "Go tell her." "Yeah, maybe she doesn't know." " You know, you'd be doing her a favor." " Yeah." "A true favor." "Yeah." "Look who dropped by for a visit." "Girls." "Young women." "Female human beings." "Female hearts beating beneath... those tight sweaters." "Feminine blood coursing through theirveins." "Living, breathing girls." "What are you young men in the prime ofyour lives doing about this?" "." "I'm doing plenty." " Yeah?" "." "You're getting plenty of action?" "." " Oh, yeah." "He has to beat 'em off with a stick." "I'm talking about the girls in this room." "I'm talking about communicating." "I'm talking about engaging." "I'm talking about standing up from this... guys-only, StarTrek-convention, frankly, homoerotic little group... and introducing yourself to one of these girls." "Yeah, but I always get so nervous." "Why?" "." "There's nothing at stake." "If there was a chance ofyou actually getting laid... then you'd have a reason to be nervous." "Try working someone in a bar for three hours... and then you gotta close the deal right before last call." "That's pressure." "Okay?" "." "You guys can treat this like it's a warm-up." "You're trying to find your style." "So you get nervous?" "." "Maybe you're the nervous guy." "Maybe that's your hook." "So go ahead and blush." "Stutter all you want." "Show her how she makes you feel." "Think of it." "You're combining honesty and flattery." " That's lethal." " Yeah, but... you can't let a girl know how nervous you are." "You gotta let her know you're in control, right?" "." ""In control"?" "." "Who is this guy?" "." "You're in high school." "You don't control any" " Look at your face." "Look at what you're eating, for Christ's sake." "Look at that shirt." "In control." "All right." "Who's the one you guys are all desperate to talk to?" "." "Angela." "Definitely." " Angela." " Okay." "Here's what you could say." "Hi, Angela." "My name is" " What is it?" "." " Darren." " My name is Darren." "Every time I see you in the hall, I have the urge to talk to you." "So I try to think of something clever to say... but I get so nervous... that nothing comes out." "We don't know each other right now, but I'd like to maybe... invite you out for a soda sometime so that we could talk." "I'd like to see what we have in common." "But most of all, I'm curious to find out... what kind of person you really are... because I am tired of looking at you from a dist" "And so on and so forth." "Take that out for a spin." "See how it works." "Yeah." "See her turn around and walk back to the jock table." " Yeah." " If that happens... you go to sleep knowing you gave it your best shot." "Remember, she has to show you something as well." "I'd love it if Angela showed me something." " Yeah." "Two things." " Yeah!" "I'd lick 'em." "Well, I tried." "Hang in there, Nick." "Wait." "You're going?" "." "Yeah, I gotta get home, look forwork." "As we speak, consumers everywhere need reminding... of just how fat and unattractive they are." "Nice meeting you, men." "Keep your sense of humor." "In ten years, you won't even remember what this place looks like." "Trust me." "Dude, your uncle is strange." "Yeah, I know." "I guess he is." "Yeah, but he's cool." "You gonna visit him again?" "." "I don't know." "What?" "." "What?" "." "Hey, Nick." "Some guy, I guess he's your uncle... he said you had something to tell me." "He said it would "blow my mind.""

"[Hiccup] This changes everything." "_" "Okay, that's 542, 43..." "Oh, there's one hiding under that tree trunk!" "[squealing] I see you, little guy." "You're 544." "Isn't this exciting, girl?" "The first annual Dragon's Edge census." "Once we get all these Night Terrors counted, we move on to the Gronckles." "Ha ha!" "Maybe you'll make some new friends." "Okay, there's a big flock." "[all squealing] 575, 576..." "Oh, hello." "[screams]" "What is a Fireworm doing this far out?" "They aren't supposed to be anywhere near our island." "Eh, it could have lost its way." "Now where were we, Meatlug?" "Was it 576, or was it 675?" "Whoa!" "Whoa, whoa." "[grunting]" "Whew." "Whoa!" "It began with one Fireworm, and as we were flying back, we kept seeing more and more." "Do you think they're migrating?" "If they were migrating, the whole island would be on fire." " Not necessarily." " Here we go!" "When Fireworms migrate, they send out scouts to see if their migration route is safe." " If this is a stop along that route..." " An entire flock of Fireworms could be coming through here." "Well, I say bring 'em on!" "I love those little scorchers." "Are you still gonna love them when they all land here and burn our entire island to the ground?" "Yes!" "Wait, no." "Wait, is that a trick question?" "Because it's pretty tricky." " Fishlegs, how much time do we have?" " Uh, it's hard to say." "If it's a full migration, the rest of them could be here" " as soon as next week." " Ha!" "Good to know." "It's been nice knowing you, island." "Snotlout is outlout!" " We're not abandoning the island, Snotlout." " Uh, yeah, we are." "Watch." "Guys, we put too much hard work into this place to just leave." "Snotlout is not "outlout."" "We're staying." "Now let's get to work." "Fine!" "But I still like my plan better." "[Hiccup] Okay, Astrid, you and Fishlegs filled the watering troughs, right?" "Yep!" "Topped off all the barrels too." "Ooh, I found a perfect cave for the Night Terrors." "High enough and desolate enough so the flames" " won't get near them." " Perfect." "Good job, guys." "Now if the twins would finally get back, we could find out" " what they've done." " Oh, I can tell you what they've done." "Zero, zip, zilch." "I'm forgetting something." " Oh, yeah, goose egg!" " Oh, "contrary," my fine fellow." "We have done quite a lot, actually." " Did you clear the brush?" " Uh, no." " Build a fire break?" " Nope, not that." "How about water?" "Did you bring any back?" " Couldn't." "Too busy." " Busy with what?" "Finding something awesome." "Behold!" "We call it the Namey Rock." " And why is that?" " Duh, 'cause it has our name all over it." " Cool, huh?" " Oh, yeah." "I mean, no." "Man, you two are completely ridiculous." "Ridiculous?" "Perhaps." "But answer me this..." "where's your Namey Rock?" "[groans] [both laugh] [both grunting]" "Uh, Hiccup, you might want to come take a closer look at this." "I think it's a claim stone." ""I, Magmar Thorston, hereby claim this island in my name and the name of all my family present and future, forever and ever."" " And what else?" " "And ever," apparently." "Ha!" "Long-lost great Uncle Magmar!" "Oh, my Thor!" "Wasn't he the one who could pass an entire cod through one nostril?" "And debone it at the same time?" "It's really a lost art." "People just don't appreciate the craftsmanship." "Oh, come on!" "That stone is a fake." "It's so obvious that these two made it up." "I don't think so!" "For one thing," " everything is spelled correctly." " Okay, you may have a point." "Let me get this straight." "These two own this island?" "It would appear that way." " Yeah!" " In your face!" " We are so in charge of this place!" " Whoo-hoo!" " Oh, preach, sister." " Well!" " According to this stone..." " That was a rhetorical preach." "Hey, where are you going, subject?" "Ha!" "You may be in charge of this island," " but you're not in charge of me." " Ah, ah!" "Respect the crown." " Don't make us get ugly." " That ship sailed a long time ago." " Ugly!" " Clearly, we'll need a dungeon." "Okay, let's all just take a breath and calm down." "The first thing we need to do is get this claim stone authenticated." "Mm-hmm." "I see." " Well, Gobber?" " Give me a minute." "[sniffs]" "Mm-hmm." "Very interesting." "[gulps] Tastes right to me, Stoick." "This claim stone is 100% authentic." " Aw, yeah!" " Authentic!" "100%!" "No more percents to be had, folks." " That's good, right?" " Uh-uh, no!" " No!" " What?" "No!" "No way." "All right, that's enough." "It looks like this island officially belongs... to the twins." " It's our island now!" " We got the island." " We got an island!" " And you can't have it." "The island is ours!" "We don't have to do anything or take any showers." "Ahem!" "As Chief of Berk," "I hereby declare that under Viking law, the living heirs to Magmar Thorston are indeed entitled to full ownership of this island" " with all the benefits that comes with it." " Now what?" "Don't ask me." "It's your island." "[chuckles]" " Oooh!" " Yes!" "# This is our island #" "♪ It's not your island You cannot have it!" "♪" " No, no, no." "Ugly!" " # Because it's ours #" "Now, Dad, Dad, Dad, you can't be serious." "You're not leaving me with this?" "Because it's ours!" "Ours!" "It's our island!" "Uh, yes, I am." "Welcome to my world." " Only now it's your world." " [chuckles] It's your world!" "Great, what do we do now?" "Any ideas?" "Oh, we could always..." "[hissing sound]" " You know." " We're not killing the twins, Snotlout." "Please tell me we're not giving them the island." "Actually, we are." "We are giving them the island." "[laughs]" " What?" " First of all, we don't really have a choice." "And second, once they find out being in charge isn't everything it's cracked up to be, and they have to deal with the Fireworm problem on their own," " they will beg us to take the island back." " And if they don't?" "It's our island!" "Man, how great is this?" "[both grunting]" "[Tuffnut] I'm fine." "[growls]" "[Tuffnut] Okay, a little higher." "No, no, no, to the left." "Yes!" "No." " Little to the right." " Would you come on already?" "My entire body is going numb." " Feels kinda cool." " Hey, let's ask Hiccup." "Let's ask Hiccup what?" "Our new Thorstonton sign, does it need to be a little higher?" " Thorstonton?" " Yeah, the name of our island." "It came to us in a dream." "That's right... same dream." "It's a twin thing." "[Ruffnut grunting] You wouldn't understand." "Anyway, thoughts on the sign?" "[wood breaking]" "You know what?" "Never mind." "We've got more important things on the agenda today." "I agree." "We need to keep fireproofing the island." "No, no, no, that's not it." "We need to give out job assignments." " Job assignments?" " Oh, we got some good ones." "Come along, lad." "Don't be late." "All right, Fishlegs." "Says here you are now the official poet laureate of Thorstonton." "Do you even know what that means?" "We were hoping you would!" "It's your job, after all." "[Tuffnut] Astrid, you are the official royal brush-clearer." "We don't want Thorstonton burning down, after all." " Or do we?" " Hmm..." "I'm not clearing brush for you two!" "I'm not clearing anything for you two!" " Come on, Astrid." " [Tuffnut] Oh." "You'll do it." "And you'll like it, little missy." "Snotlout, you, my friend, have an excellent job." "You, sir, are our new sergeant at arms." "Mm." "I like the sound of that... "arms."" "Knew you would." "All right, Hiccup." "Oh, Hiccup, you are our new stable boy." "Stable boy?" "[growls]" "Come on, Hiccup." "[sighs heavily]" "So, uh, here's a question." "What's a sergeant at arms do, anyway?" "You enforce the rules." "If someone doesn't follow them, you make sure they do." "And if things get really nasty, you show them to the fancy new dungeon and give them some yak dung tea." " Got it?" " Dungeon!" "I like it." "Better than "stable boy."" "Okay, and speaking of new rules, without further "adieu"..." "Yeah, no more further "adieus." Anyway, rule number one:" "everyone must bow to your rulers when they enter the room." "Rule number two: everyone must also bow to your rulers when they exit the room." "Everyone must bow to your rulers when they are in the room." "So basically we just bow all the time?" "Ooh, stable boy, coming in for the big win." "That deserve a bow... from you." "I'm not doing any bowing." "[sighs] Thank you." "Next, there will be a small fee for landing your dragons on the island." "And another small fee for taking off." "There will be a fee for sleeping." " A fee for waking up." " A fee for eating." " And a small fee for drinking." " How about breathing?" " Good idea!" "Mark that down." " Way ahead of you." "And finally, the letter "S"" "has been officially removed from the alphabet." "So you're going to want to avoid words like sword..." " Severed leg..." " ...severed head..." " ...cyclone!" " That's actually a "C."" "Uh-uh!" "Notlout, quiet him!" "Notlout?" "Who's Notlout?" "Do you two realize that there is an "S" in the name of your island?" "Ilence, ubject!" "How dare you ay such thing?" "Any other rules?" " Table boy, clean that up." " Okay, while I'm doing this, you guys need to stay on top of this Fireworm thing." "It's starting to get pretty real." "Uh, aren't you forgetting something?" "What?" "Oh, right." "Sorry." "That's better." "Now let's have a look at your work, table boy." "[growls]" "Hmm, good." "That's nice attention to detail." " Uh, we have a problem." " What?" "What's the problem?" " Pathetic." " Disgraceful." " Unacceptable." " What is it?" "This water is lukewarm." "We pecifically asked for scalding... sorry, calding, if I'm not miskaken." "Oh, you are not mitaken, brother." "Fine, scald... calding it is." "Toothless..." "Toothle..." "Plama blat!" "[both yell] [boiling] [growls]" "I'm keeping an eye on you, Mr. Night Fury." "My good eye." "Wait, are you telling me you have a bad eye?" "Wait, are you telling me you have a bad leg?" " Thought so." " And the weirdness continues." "That's a two-mackerel landing charge, little lady." "[sighs]" "Two more mackerel." "Are you keeping track" " or should I?" " No, I got it." "Look, I don't have any more mackerel." "And if I did, I wouldn't give it to you for your dumb take-off and landing charge." "Excue me." "Are you calling the laws of this land dumb?" "You don't like "dumb"?" "How about dopey?" "Brainless, dimwitted, moronic." "Shall I go on?" " Notlout!" " Coming in hot!" "Ergeant at arm Notlout reporting." "Take this mutineer to the new dungeon, and her little dragon, too." "Give her some time to think about her attitude." "Dungeon?" "Are you serious?" "Do we look serious?" "Ugh!" "You know, that's a good question." " Do we?" " I don't know." "Here, give me your best serious face." "Whoa, pretty serious." "Okay, what about me?" " Oh, yeah." " Okay, we look pretty serious." "[Fishlegs] There once was an island named Thorstonton where everybody wanted to have fun, fun, fun." "We sang and we danced and we all peed our pants when the ruler came up with a great pun... pun, pun... [squawks] The chicken is not amused." " Notlout!" " Ir, ye, ir, right here." " To the dungeon with him." " No, the chicken is wrong!" " The chicken is wrong!" " How dare you?" "The chicken is never wrong." "[squawks]" "Shh." "I'm sorry you had to hear that." "That's it, quiet." "There we go." "[all squealing]" "All right, giddy up!" "Get back in line!" "Back in line!" " Snotlout, what are you doing?" " Never you mind, table boy." "This is official Thorntontonston business." "Welcome to your new home, jailbirds." "[laughs]" " What are you in for?" " Funny." "Exactly how long are you going to let this go on?" "Have you seen all those Fireworms?" "Yeah, Hiccup, the migration is picking up steam." "[farting]" "Ho ho ho!" "She does not deal well with prison food." " Ech!" " All right, all right, I-I'll talk to them." "I'm sure I can get this all straightened out." "So you guys surveying the damage?" "No, we're looking for a place to build our summer palace." "That might be a nice area once the fires burn the vegetation away." "[Tuffnut] Any thoughts, table boy?" "Yeah, just one." "Have you considered the fact that if you throw everyone in jail, there's no one left to actually build your summer palace?" " We're listening." " And what about the Fireworm migration?" "Don't you think it might be a good idea to have everyone working so that we can stop Thorstonton from burning down?" "I see your point, but I also see something else." " Oh, yeah!" " What?" "What's that?" "Toothless is flying as fast as Barf and Belch!" " And by Thorstonton law..." " That is illegal!" " So what you in for?" " Astrid, please." "What?" "Just trying to be funny." "[grunting]" "Snotlout?" "[grunting]" "Hey!" "I was framed." "All right, that's it." "We're breaking out of here." "Great!" "Then we go back to my plan. [hissing]" "Guys, guys, we're fine." "There's nothing to worry about." "I mean, the twins can't be that oblivious!" "[sheep crying] [twins laughing] [bleating]" "What?" "Whoa, check it out!" "Fireworm!" "[Ruffnut] Burns with the heat of 1,000 suns." "Ah, those little guys." "Oh, look, it has a little buddy!" " Ow!" " Ow!" "Whoa!" "[bleating]" "No!" "Stop, stop!" "As the ruler of Thorstonton, I'm ordering the ruler's sister to do something about this Fireworm problem." "What do you want me to do?" "I'm not the boss of them." "Well, if we don't do something, they're going to burn Thorstonton to the ground." "Just like Hiccup said." "[both] This is all your fault!" "That smoke's getting close." " And where there's smoke..." " There's Fireworms. [growling]" "All right, you know what?" "Experiment over." "We are getting out there and stopping them before there's nothing left of this island." " Finally." " Toothless, plasma blast." "[growls] Hey, guys?" "[sighs]" "Now's our chance." "Hookfang, destroy!" "Oh, hey, rulers!" "How's stuff in the old kingdom?" "Having lots of fun with all the smoke and fire?" "Yes." "No." "Okay, fine." "As it turns out, we can't save Thorstonton by ourselves." "So we talked about it, and we hereby decree that you can all come and help us put out the fires." "Ah, that's a shame, 'cause from where I sit, you guys are on your own." "I mean, rules are rules, right?" "[groans]" "You have to help us save our island!" " It's all we've got!" " I don't know." "Guys?" "I think you've got to stick to your guns." "You make a rule, you follow it through." " Otherwise it's... you know..." " Anarchy." "I'm with them." "Come on, you guys, please?" "Is there anything we can do?" " Name it, we'll do anything." " Well, now that you mention it," "I suppose we could consider one possibility." "[hissing] [both] Anything!" "I'll make you assistant ruler." "Ruler's best pal?" "Second string ruler?" "No, I have a better idea, actually." "We divide the island up amongst all of us." "We all own it." "There's no ruler, no sister of the ruler. [gasps]" " We're all rulers." " What?" "That's blasphemous!" "You can't do that to the ruler." "[sniffs]" "Whaaa!" "Okay, you guys can have whatever you want." "The island's all of ours." "Just get these things out of here!" "Ow!" "[groaning]" "Okay, Fishlegs, gather up all the Night Terrors" " and take them to the cave." " On it." "Okay, guys, we need to redirect the Fireworms around our island and on to the next one in the chain." "You really think it's gonna make a dent?" " I mean, look at them all." " Do you have a better idea?" "We don't really have a choice!" "Stormfly, fire!" "Come on, Barf, Belch, do it for Thorstonton!" "[both growl]" "Fall back!" "Maybe we can at least protect our base." "Let's get started on building a fire break!" "Just keep digging, guys." "The fire can't get past it if there's only dirt." "Oh, I can barely see, bud." "If this gets much worse, we're gonna have to bail out." "[coughs] What do we do now?" " It's getting really dangerous." " The cave!" "We'll go there and wait it out with the Night Terrors." "Uh, Hiccup, you may want to come up with another plan." " Why?" " I couldn't find the Night Terrors." "I called them till my lips almost fell off." "They're gone." "I told you we should have bailed on this place." "No, we're not bailing." "This island is ours." " Tuff?" " It's all of ours." "And no one burns our equally-shared island to the ground but us." "I may have to disagree with you there." " What the... is that..." " Fireworm queen!" "If she's here, then the entire flock can't be far behind it." "Well, that settles it." "Grab what you can." "We're out of here." "Uh, Hiccup, that's not the Fireworm queen." "The Night Terrors!" "They're protecting the island by forming a Fireworm queen!" "There's not going to be anything left to protect if all of those Fireworms land here." " Well, we just won't let them." " Okay, I sense a plan." "I'm gonna lead the Night Terrors out to sea." "Hopefully the Fireworms will follow." "You guys stay behind and put out these fires." "Come on, bud!" "All right, bud, we need to get the terrors' attention and turn them out to sea." "[growls]" "All right, gang, let's take a little trip, shall we?" "Toothless, now!" "[all squawking]" "Yes!" "Nice job, bud." "It's working!" "There we go, bud." "That island's all rock." "Perfect stopover for these guys." "Going down, gang!" "Now that is something to write about." "And Fishlegs thought the Book of Dragons was finished." "Ruff, Tuff, you guys did the right thing." "I just hope you learned something in all this." "Yeah, we sure did." "Leading blow." "Oh, we don't have to do the "S" thing anymore." " Leading blows." " Seriously blows." "You know what, though?" "At least we have our cool claim stone to remember our glorious reign!" "No respect." "No respect at all." "[laughs] # It's everyone's island!" "#" "♪ This is our island It's everyone's island ♪" "[Tuffnut] Ours." "It's our island!"

"[Man Narrating] Previously on The Pretender." "[Sydney] His name is Angelo." "Think ofhim like a sponge... someone who can absorb the intellectual, emotional... even the physical traits of others." "He will find Jarod for us." "[Miss Parker] He better, Sydney." "Hejust better." "[Keyboard Clacking]" "Yes, Mr. Parker." "He's searching the Internet for any signs of him now." "We'll find Jarod... and whoever inside the Centre is helping him." "[Phone Hangs Up]" "Keep working, Angelo." "Keep working." " [Explosion] - [Man] Whoo-whee.!" "You see?" "Get too close to that bad boy... and you'll be a-picking your nose with your wrist." "[Chuckling] Now, you boys are 21, aren't ya?" "That's what I thought." "Fill up their trunk, Eugene." " Now, where were we?" " You were telling us about Mr. Nobel." "Yeah, old Nobel was like a Picasso of gunpowder." " He invented the Big Bertha, you know." " The Big Bertha?" "The mother of all Roman candles." "Three time-delayed sparkle explosions... wrapped in a color-spray smoke banger... lined with quarter strands ofT.N.T." " Sounds impressive." " Put on a New Year's Eve show... that put old Dickie Clark to shame." "[Chuckling] I don't know where he went." "Just disappeared." " Yes." " Hmm." "He has a habit of doing that." "Thank you." "There is no way thatJarod could have known we were coming." "Zero." "Have you noticed that it never seems to work the other way, Syd?" "Maybe there is a reason." "Stay frosty, Nobel." "It's all being recorded for posterity." "This way." "The note that was faxed said we'd find the bomb over here." " Carlson." " [Beeping]" "Hello." "Oh, yeah." "Bad Betty." "Fax Bomber's usual." "Whoa, cowboy." "Betty needs her beauty rest, or she's a real witch to wake up next to." "Tools." "Whoa." "I found something." " Looks like a note." " He always leaves one." "What's it say?" ""Catch me if you can, you miscreants."" ""Miscreants"?" "What does that mean?" "[Rapid Beeping]" "It means "Get the hell outta here"!" "Move!" "Move!" "[Coughing]" "Is it always like this?" "Welcome to the Bomb Squad, Jarod." "[Man Narrating]" "[Chatter On Police Radio]" "So, Nobel, now you know... what a close encounter with the Fax Bomber feels like, huh?" "Mm-hmm." "Man, I wish I could have been here." "Can't imagine why, sir." " My ears are still ringing." " Used to be some scumball went to make a bomb threat... they'd pick up the phone like a decent human being." "Now what?" "They fax 'em in." " Scumball?" " Sort of like a miscreant, only different." "[Forced Laughing] Someone mark the calendar." "Lamont made a funny." "Now, this bomber faxes his threats in." "That's a unique M.O. Must help him cover his tracks." "Well, this guy doesn't need any help." "We have run... every piece of evidence he's left behind through the best technology we have:" "D.N.A., hair samples, fiber, impressionology..." "Guy leaves us nothing to follow." "Nothing." "We gotta catch a break sometime." "So you, uh..." "You people, you stay here and keep after this." "I'm gonna go lie to the press." "[Groans]" "What's the matter, Carlson?" "You catch a little more steel last night?" "Hey, Lamont, why don't you be a good civil servant?" "Get the two heroes some coffee." "He loves me." "Did you have another bomb go off on you before?" "I got a little shrapnel in my shoulder during the war." "Hero here's the only guy refers to Grenada as a war." " I got the medals to prove it." " Come on." "You know the only medals... that count in your family are the ones your big brother won in 'Nam." "I heard that you brought the last two of the Fax Bomber's devices in intact." "I got lucky." "Hey." "Don't you worry about it,J." "One day this Fax Bomber's gonna slip up." "When he does, we're gonna be there to catch him." "I just hope the S.O.B. blows himself up." "[Man] The detonator was connected to an accelerator." "This is a dangerous new escalation for the Fax Bomber." "Hand those out, will you, John?" "This is my sight profile of the bomber." "It includes a, uh, computer-generated composite sketch... based on some incomplete information." " He looks like my Uncle Fred." " Looks like everyone's Uncle Fred." "Based on his, uh, faxed threats and other data... the bomber is a left-handed, disgruntled ex-city worker." "The chances are he's already expressed his discontent." " We all know what that means." " Back to the crank files." "Excellent, Lamont." "Now, I expect... that all of you people will put in whatever overtime is necessary... to screen those files and to interview every possible perp." "Questions?" "No?" "Good." "Go to work." " Excuse me." "Lieutenant Chomsky, do you have a moment?" " Sure." "I've been going over your file on the fax bomber, and with all due respect, sir..." "You know, when people say, "all due respect," they generally don't have it." "Sir, it-it's just that I think that your profile of the perp... is exactly who he wants us to think he is." "I think that his grudge against the city and everything else about him is a mislead." "Guy's here a week, he's already bucking for my bars." "No, sir." "I just happen to have a different opinion." " Based on what?" " I know people." "I'm listening." "The D.N.A. and the impressionology... all came up empty." "He's trying to lead us down a high-tech path... but I believe that we can snag him with a low-tech solution." "He's right-handed... but he wants us to believe he's a lefty." "The verticals and the horizontals are all jagged... which would indicate that he's been writing with his subdominant hand." " You're a graphologist?" " Uh, no, sir, but I was a palm reader once." "Shall I tell you about your future here?" "Sir, I believe that our bomber... is a city employee who is not necessarily disgruntled." "He's enjoying watching us run around... almost as much as he enjoys setting off explosions." "If you want to suggest that, uh, this clown is some kind of a Merry Prankster..." "I recommend that you talk with Rachel Newton." "Rachel is gonna spend the next year of her life... learning how to read Braille because of the Fax Bomber." " I wasn't trying to trivialize that, sir." " No, no." "I know you weren't." "You were just trying to make, uh, an impression... show off your erudite European upbringing." " My what?" " The cadence in your voice..." "You were raised by a French nanny." "Well, could be Belgian, I suppose." " How did you know that?" " Oh, I know about people too." "[Sydney Speaking Foreign Language]" "[Continues]" "[Miss Parker] Damn it, Broots." "You said we had him cornered." "But we did." "I don't know what happened." " Jarod happened." " Oh, spare me, Sydney." "All I know is that I'm fed up... with always being a step behind him." "[Raines] So am I." " Uh, l-I gotta go." " Stay here, Mr. Broots." " What brings you down from the Tower, sir?" " Plumbing." "Plumbing?" "I've come to plug a leak." " Hey." " Hey." "What's up, Nobel?" "The Fax Bomber, a.k.a. Uncle Fred." "Okay." "Not my finest hour, but, hey... nobody got a great look at this guy, so the sketch is, you know, sketchy." "This is a fascinating machine." "Yeah." "This here is a Decatronics Turbo Graphics II workstation." "This little bad boy makes composites, puts disguises on portraits... ages missing kids, which is what I'm doing now." " That's incredible." " Some of my best work's been on the backs of milk cartons." "[Chuckling] Think of the D. T.G. II... as sort of a high-tech Mr. Potato Head." " Mister who?" " Potato Head." "Oh." "Now, this is interesting." "You call him Mr. Potato Head, yet his head is his whole body?" "Yeah." "Cool, huh?" "He comes with little interchangeable ears... eyes and little hats." "Old Spud Man is the original master of disguise." "You know, this would make a wonderful toy for children." "Hey, Nobel, crank file just turned up a hot one." "Let's run." " Hmm." " [Doorbell Ringing]" "Oh, God." "What'd he do?" "Curtis!" "They finally came to arrest you!" " Curtis!" " Busy, Ma.!" "Mrs. Haring, we're not here to arrest your son." "I knew someday the cops would show up and take him away." " Curtis.!" " I said, get off my back.!" " Ma'am, we just wanted to..." " Thirty years old, and he still lives in my basement." "Day in and day out, writing his little letters." "I should've bought stock in Bic." "Don't say nothing, Ma." "This is all going on tape somewhere." "I know it." "Listen to that." "Do you know what it's done to my social life... having him down there?" " You're not gettin' nothin' out of me." " I'm in the prime of my life." "I should go out, get myself some nice shoes and find myself a man." " Ma!" " Sir... did you write these letters to the utilities commission?" "And I'll write a hundred more till they give me back my workman's comp." "I got an inoperable hernia working for this city... and they threw me to the wolves." "How'd you get that letter?" "What's your name?" "I'm Carlson." "This is, uh, Nobel." "Hold still, man." "I can't see your badge number." "He don't have no hernia." "Hejust don't wanna move out of the basement." "Shut up, Ma!" "You know how my legs tingle every time I sit for too long." "Yeah, and I know where you're sittin'!" "Sir, we're not here to talk about your workman's comp." "We want to ask you some questions about your whereabouts." "Hey, if you think you got something on me, you come back with a warrant." "Till then, me and my mother's got nothing to say to you miscreants." "I should've married a dentist." " At least then his teeth'd be better." " Ma!" "This guy's classic bomber material." "Former city worker, domineering mother... basement workshop, a little antisocial behavior." " I'm not convinced." " Huh?" "He's written 253 letters to the city and counting." "If he's crossed the threshold into planting bombs... don't you think he would have given up the correspondence?" " Did you notice what he called us in there?" " Miscreants." " Right." "Nobody uses that word except for that guy and..." " The Fax Bomber." "I'm gonna get under this guy's skin before he hurts someone else." "[Electronic Squawking]" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "Good morning!" "... five, six... seven, eight... nine, ten..." " You can stop counting." "You're here." " Oh. [Chuckles]" "You must have stepped into the room." "It's 11 steps to the door." "I did." "That's very good." "It's funny, Dr. Jarod." "I used to hate math in school." "Now my entire life is basic arithmetic." "Nine steps from my bed to the bathroom... 14 steps to the hallway, seven steps to the chair." "Just be happy it's not long division." "It's a beautiful day." "Why don't we go outside?" "Oh, no. I..." "l-I think I'd rather stay here." "Rachel... you have to go outside sometime." "I was supposed to work in my studio... but it was such a nice day, I decided to go on the rooftop at city hall." "That's what happened the last time I went outside." "You were in the wrong place at the wrong time." "But that is not your fault." "You can't stop living your life because of it." "I hear he set off another bomb." "Yes, he did." "Thankfully, nobody else was hurt." "You know, when I had my eyes behind a camera..." "I could see things no one else could see." "I could take a thousand shots... and tell you which one was peryect before it was even developed." "I can remember details of nearly every picture I ever took." "That's ironic." "They tell me he was there that day." "That I must have seen the man who did this to me as he was setting his bomb." "But as hard I try, I can't remember." "I can't believe they think one of us... is leaking information toJarod." "[Sighs] Oh, I wish I hadn't eaten that poppy seed muffin." "They're giving us a polygraph, you idiot... not a urine test." "I thought it was both." "It should be, for you." "What-What is that supposed to mean?" "You're the one who handles the information around here." "I'm sorry." "I'm in a filthy mood." "Let's not accuse each other." "Oh, that means a lot coming from Jarod's teddy bear." "Miss Parker." "To calibrate the machine... please answer the following question untruthfully." " Are you Eleanor Roosevelt?" " Yes." "Have you pursued Jarod to the best of your ability?" " Yes." " [Raines] Become her, Angelo." "Tell me if she is lying." "[Man] Did you willfully misfire your weapon... when attempting to apprehend Jarod in Miami, Florida?" " What?" " Yes or no, please." "No." "Smoking is not permitted during a polygraph." "Have you received... a personal message from Jarod?" "It was a bunny." "Yes." "Did you secretly contactJarod via a secure Internet connection?" "Yes." "Did you attempt to provide him with classified information?" "Yes, but with a view to bringing him home." " Have you ever secretly met with Jarod?" " Mm-mmm." "No." "Is he lying?" "Is he the one?" "Have you ever used a controlled substance?" "[Clears Throat] No." "Were you in the lab when information regarding Jarod's origins was leaked?" "Yes." "Did you leak the information Jarod received..." " via special courier in Miami, Florida?" " No." " Have you ever lied to the Centre?" " No." "[Gasping]" "He's the leak, isn't he, Angelo?" "So, you've decided to put in a transfer to Forensics, hmm?" "I've just been sifting though all the Fax Bomber debris." "You went over three thousand pieces of evidence here?" "Three thousand and twenty-five." " I've specifically been studying the wires." " No, no, no." "The feds, they covered every centimeter of that copper." "I know." "I've been studying the encasements." "There's no pattern." "This guy is random... except for the detonator connectors." "He's very sensitive about them." "He wants to be sure." "That's why they all have exactly the same parallel cut pattern." "Come on." "Exactly the same?" "Exactly." "Notice the angle of the grooves on the parallels." "Gives us something to run down with the knife manufacturers." " And the cut contours confirm that he's..." " Right-handed." "Yes, sir." "Low-tech." " Very." " Mmm." " Hello." " Hey." "Hey." "How's the spud of a thousand faces?" "Well, I only have the 13-piece set so... technically, this one's only got, uh..." "One hundred and seventy-nine." "I have a project for you." "I'm up to my ears in milk cartons here." "Well, this one's very special to me." "It's my mother." "I was wondering... if you could age her 30 years." " I want to see what she would look like." " [Pager Beeping]" " I'll make it worth your while." " Hey, I'll see what I can do." " Thanks." " All right." "[Siren Wailing]" "It's right over there under the bus." "It's right over there under the bus." " Did the threat come in by fax?" " It was more of a phone call." "One of my drivers found the unclaimed suitcase on the 3:15 from Traverse City." " All right." "We'll take it from here." " Thanks." "Hey, can you guys kinda hurry up?" "'Cause I got buses backing up on me here, man, and I..." "Take as much time as you need then." "Thanks." " You okay?" " Yeah." "Come on." "[Buzzing]" "[Horn Honks]" "Got a backache?" "[Switches Off]" "They told me we would have a lot ofhoax calls in training... but I never thought it would feel like this." " Let go,J." " That's easy for you to say." " It was pretty tense back there." " Don't worry about it." " That's nice work." " Oh." "Yeah." " From my army days." " Let me guess." " You got drunk one night." " Blitzed. [Chuckles] My whole unit." "After Grenada, they stationed us down at Fort Buchanan, Puerto Rico." "I do not remember one thing that happened that entire month... except for this needle artist." "He was a shriveled-up little Puerto Rican guy... who had a hole-in-the-wall shop in old San Juan." " He inked every single guy in the whole platoon..." " The whole platoon." "You know how many eagles this guy had to do in one night?" "Give us a break, will you, Carlson?" "You partner with this guy too long, you know his old unit like it was your own family." "[Rachel] What are you doing?" "I'm going to turn this space into a darkroom." " I live in a darkroom." " Good." "Because I need you... to develop a roll of film for me." "Oh, that smells familiar." " I thought you'd remember it." " Is this some kind of new therapy?" "Call it a simulation." " Simulation?" " Mm-hmm." "I'm going to create an environment... with all the stimuli you need to recreate an event... and for you to become someone." "Who do you want me to become?" " Yourself." " Oh!" "Oh, my camera." "Oh, I haven't touched this since the... well, since the day at city hall." "Now I want you to develop that roll of film... the pictures you took that day." " Oh, but there's no film in it." " I know." "I want you to develop the pictures in your mind." "I'm on the rooftop at city hall." "Natural light is at its- its peryect angle." "The building is... is closed." "It's Sunday." "And I'm, uh, getting last-minute shots for my gallery opening." "[Jarod] Are you alone?" "I think." "l-I don't see anyone." "I don't..." "I don't see anyone... but I feel a... a tingle on the back of my neck." " [Footsteps]" " I don't see anyone, but I hear something." " What do you hear?" " Footsteps, walking quickly away." "But, uh, you don't think anything about it... because you have other pictures to take." "It's right before it happens." "We can stop this if you want." "No." "I walk over to where the footsteps are coming from... but he's gone." "Rachel, do you see the bomb?" "It's only an instant before the flash." " Do you see him?" " No." "But..." "I smell something." " I smell..." " You smell him." "It must be, um..." "I don't..." "I don't know what it is." "It-It's cologne." "No, it-it's, um, medicine, menthol." " What athletes put on sore muscles." " Liquid heat." "Thank you." " Are you Steven Johnson?" " Yeah." "Special Agent Jarod Webster." "F.B.I.?" "What did I do?" "Nothing, Mr. Johnson." "I'm just doing a security check... on one of your old army buddies, Daniel Carlson." "He put you down as a reference." "If you want to clear Carlson, you're talking to the wrong guy." " Why's that?" " Carlson talks a good game... but the rest of the squad had to carry him every step of the way." "Well, the way he puts it, you were a very tight unit." "We'd probably have shot him ourselves if he hadn't caught the shrapnel in the shoulder." "He has the company tattoo on his forearm." "You don't see any moronic little birds on me, do you?" "Hell, Carlson come in one day all drunk... queer little bird on his arm, talking about how he wanted the rest of us to get 'em." "Guy's a dangerous little wannabe." "Well, thank you very much for your time." "Hey, what's the little weasel applying for, anyway?" " Bomb Squad." " God help us all." " [Siren Wailing] - [Jarod] You paged me?" "[Man] Oh, yeah, dude." "Sorry Santa was a little late... but, uh, "Ho, ho, ho."" "She's still beautiful." "Now, um, you said you'd make it worth my while." "Patience, Mr. Potato Head." " Thank you." " Okay." "Jarod, the Fax Bomber just blew himself up." " Where's Carlson?" " He phoned it in." "[Sirens Wailing]" "Let me through.!" "Let me through.!" "Let her through." "This is her house." "This is her son." "Let her through." "Are you hurt?" "I wasn't home last night." "I had a date." "Curtis?" "Curtis, Mama's here." "Ma's here, honey." "I had a feeling about this guy." "I came over here to see if I could get him to talk." "He must have seem me coming because the whole place went up." " It knocked me all the way back to the end of the driveway." " It was a nice play, Carlson." " Get yourself cleaned up." "You look like hell." " Thank you, sir." "I should have known it was him." "Another croissant, Miss Parker?" "Cold coffee's plenty." "He always seemed to be..." "a step ahead... and then suddenly, we were a step behind." "Broots has the classic nonconfrontational personality." "I doubt he would put himself in harm's way." "[Car Engine Starts]" "[Miss Parker] Where the hell is he going now?" "Private investigator?" "Could he have found Jarod?" "I don't know." "But somebody just put themselves in harm's way." "It doesn't make sense." "The same bomber, who was so intelligent he didn't leave... as much as a speck of D.N.A. behind, accidentally blows up his own mother's house?" " Don't start with me, Nobel." " And why would he keep all of his bomb-making equipment... in a box in the garage when he had his own basement workshop?" " Maybe he was feeling the heat and was planning to make a move." " I don't think he's our man." "Why?" "Is he left-handed?" "As a matter of fact, he is." "The issue of guilt is up to a jury." "Our job... collect evidence." "[Alarm Chirps]" "[Man] Now we have an exclusive with Officer Dan Carlson of the city Bomb Squad." "So, you defused his devices and brought him to justice." "How does it feel to be the man who uncovered the Fax Bomber?" "I'm just glad this nightmare for the city is finally coming to an end." "Not quite." " Here." " [Gun Cocks]" "What do you..." "What is this?" "What are you doing?" "Sweepers?" "In my house?" " [Crying]" " That's all right." "That's okay." "It's all right." "He's in the middle of the custody battle." "The P.I. was trying to dig up something on the ex he could use in court." " The plane ticket?" " Time for little Susie to fly home to Mommy." "At least we've cleared him." "Cleared him?" "He lied to the Centre." " He never said anything about being married." " He wanted his privacy." " None of that justifies what we did." " You're damn right." "You're late." "Well, I spent all morning on the phone with a lawyer." "He dropped my case." "Hmm." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Mmm." "Are you, Miss Parker?" "Thanks to you, my daughter hasn't stopped crying since last night." "Tomorrow, I have to send her back to her mother, which is a place she doesn't want to go." "None of that has anything to do with the Centre." "I work here." "I sold my soul to be in this place." "I'm not selling her." "So don't mess with her." "And don't mess with me." "Hey, Lamont, what are you doing tonight?" " Hey, Carlson." " What?" "You'd better take a look at this." "What?" "Ugh." "This is some kind of hoax." "Now, we know the-the Fax Bomber is in a hospital bed." "Well, I guess he checked himself out." "Let's go." " Main elevator banks." " Right over there." " Come on!" " Maybe we should wait for backup." "And miss our chance to be heroes?" "Come on." "Whoa." "Another Bad Betty." "Oh, God." "Let's not rush into anything here." "Oh, look." "He left a note." "Careful." "Slow." ""This time it's real."" "Hmm." "See?" " No!" " [Bell Dings]" "Forget it, Carlson." "This is the express." "It won't stop for 60 floors." "Oh-oh." "Sixty floors if we're lucky." " What are you talking about?" " Barometric detonator." "Designed to detonate at altitudes 600 or 700 feet." "My guess is we're good for 45, 50 floors, tops." " We gotta get out of here!" " No, we've gotta defuse this bomb." " No, there's no time!" " Oh, there's plenty of time." "It should be easy for you." "It's just like all the other bombs you used to make." " Huh?" " You know... the bombs you defused..." " so you could be a hero just like your big brother was?" " Who the hell are you?" "Just your average, everyday miscreant." "And someone who doesn't think that Rachel Newton should have lost her eyesight... so that you could be put in the limelight." "Now, listen to meJarod." "I did not expect anybody to get hurt." "Tell that to Curtis Haring." "He was the guy you tried to blow up... so you could cover your tracks." "All right!" "That's enough!" "Now, come on!" "Defuse this thing!" "Not so cool under pressure when it's not your own bomb." "But you see, people that plant bombs, they're cowards at heart." "And since I planted this one, I don't want to stick around to watch it blow." " [Bell Dings]" " Uh-oh." "Twentieth floor." "Better get to work." "Hope you can figure out which wire to snip." "Bye-bye, hero." "No!" "Jarod!" "Jarod!" "[Beeping]" "[Thudding]" "I guess that's why they call it the express." "[Rapid Beeping]" "[Electronic Male Voice] Ten, nine, eight... seven, six... five, four... three, two... one." "Kaboom." "You're under arrest, Carlson." "[Curtis] ... that all of you at city hall... will pay egregiously for what has happened to me." " Are you sure you want to say that?" " Say what?" " "Egregiously"?" " Who's writing this letter?" " I was only making a suggestion." " It's my letter!" " All right, already." "What do you want from me?" " Ma!" " You don't even know what it means." " Do too!" " Well, I can spell it." " Just write it!" " E, G, R..." " Get my dictionary.!" " I'm not going in that smelly basement." " Ohh!" "There's a fly on me." " "Egregiously."" " A fly on me!" "Aah!" " [Knocking] - [Jarod] Morning, May." " Where's Rachel?" " There's something you should see." "Took her about a halfhour to get down there." "But she got there all by herself." "He's still searching, Mr. Parker." "But we will find the leak." "I promise you that." "Did you find something, Angelo?" "Keep working." "Keep working." "[Keyboard Clacking]" "[Mews]"

"Our world was much larger then." "The forest went on forever." "We tree spirits nurtured the harmony of all living things, but our closest friends were humans." "Then, as sometimes happens, the balance of nature shifted, and Hexxus..." "the very spirit of destruction... rose up from the bowels of the earth... and rained down his poison." "The forest was nearly destroyed." "Many lives were lost, and the humans fled in fear, never to return." "Most think they didn't survive." "It was only by calling up the magical powers of nature... that I was able to trap Hexxus inside an enchanted tree... and save FernGully." "Which is why it is so important for you to learn to use these powers." "I won't be around forever, and you'll have to..." "Crysta?" "Yes." "That is why it is so important for you to learn the secrets of..." " Crysta!" " Magi, yes." "The secrets." "I know." "But, I mean, it's all right now." "That was so long ago, and you trapped him in that tree and everything, so..." "I really have to go now, but I'll see you later, okay?" "Bye!" " Hey!" " Pips." "You know, you're spending more time with Magi than you do with me." "Well, what can I learn from you?" " Hey!" " ♪ When the sleepy planet comes alive ♪" "♪And I wake up in the warm sunlight ♪" "♪ There's a simple harmony to life ♪" "♪A magic thing ♪" "♪ Then I walk among the flowers and trees ♪" "Hi, Ock." "Hi, Rock." "♪And I feel the earth beneath my feet ♪" "♪And I remember that the air we breathe ♪" "♪Is a magic thing ♪" "♪Everybody, now Life is a magic thing ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah ♪" "♪Life is a magic thing ♪" " Comin' through!" "Watch out!" "Here I come!" " ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "♪Life is a magic thing ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah Yeah ♪" "♪Life is a magic thing ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "There she goes." "Come on." "Don't lose her." " Okay." " Crysta, stop!" "Never, never go above the canopy." "Never go above the canopy." "Crysta!" "Crysta!" "I got ya." "Are you crazy, going above the canopy?" "Yeah, we was almost falcon fodder." " I've got to tell Magi." " Tell Magi what?" "Hey, wait!" "What'd you see... up there?" " Halt!" "Who goes there?" " Hi, Crysta!" " Okay, what's the password?" " Come on, you guys." " Is that the password?" " It sounds good." " Bye." " "Bye." That's it!" "That's the password!" "Well, I don't know if that's the password or not." "I'm so confused, you..." "Magi?" "Magi." "Magi, I just saw the most incredible thing above the canopy." "A whole other world." "The sky went on forever." "And way over in the distance as far as I could see, there was this enormous rock like a..." "Mountain." "That was Mount Warning." "And next to it was a... a..." "I don't know." "It looked like a strange black cloud rising out of the earth." " Smoke, I should think." " What's smoke?" "There are many things in our world you don't yet know about, Crysta." "There are worlds within worlds, Crysta." "Everything in our world is connected by the delicate strands of the web of life, which is balanced between forces of destruction... and the magic forces of creation." "Help it grow." "Why can't I do it?" "Everyone can call on the magic powers of the web of life." "You have to find it in yourself." "I want to, Magi." "You know I do." "But I was thinking about that smoke." "Do you think it could be..." "Hexxus?" "No, there isn't a force in nature that could release him, and there are no poisons here on which he can feed." "Hexxus is trapped for all time." "Now that's enough for today." " But what could have caused the smoke?" " Now, now, now, off with you." "But, Magi..." "Hexxus." "So what did the Mag have to say, huh?" " She said I should get serious." " 'Bout time." "And stop hanging around with bug-brained layabouts like you." "Oh, no!" "Red light." "Red light again." "Immediate clearance requested!" "Immediate clearance!" " Oh, no!" " Where you goin'?" "Crysta!" "Hello?" "Bless your heart with magic light." "I give the gift of fairy sight." "What a strange little bug." "I did it!" "I did it!" "Gravity works." "Poor guy." "Primary testing laboratory." "No!" "Pass the probe." "Graduate students, all gather forward." "No!" "Love the haircut." "It's all right." "We won't hurt you." " He's still a little confused." " Clearly." "Hello, I'm a nocturnal placental flying mammal, a member of the family of pteropodidae, or Ptero-didn't I." "If you can't tell, I'm a bat!" "Yes, I am." "And they used to call me "Batty," Batty Koda." "Pleased to meet you." "Bonjour." "And where are you from?" "I just blew in from a biology lab." "I'm back, and I'm flapping' free." "Let me tell you a story, and it's all about..." "♪ Yo, the name is Batty The logic is erratic ♪" "♪ Potato in a jacket Toys in the attic ♪" "♪ I rock and I ramble My brain is scrambled ♪" "♪ Wrapped like an animal But I'm a mammal ♪" "All of our cosmetics are non carcinogenic." "♪ I've been brain-fried, electrified infected and injectified ♪" "♪ Vivisectified and fed pesticide ♪" "♪ My face is all cut up 'cause my radar's all shut up ♪" "♪ Nurse, I need a checkup from the neck up I'm Batty ♪" "Seems to have no effect, Doctor." "Get me another one." "Get me another animal!" "♪ They used and abused me Battered and bruised me ♪" "♪ Red wires, green wires Stuck 'em right through me ♪" "♪ So hear my batty word and exercise a little prudence ♪" "♪ When dealing with... humans ♪" " Humans?" " Where?" "No!" "Lucy!" "No, no, there are no humans." " They're long gone." " Vanished." "Definitely extinct." "They only exist in stories." "Excuse me." " Charming." " It's been lovely, but I gotta "hoon"." "Adios, amigos!" "Ding!" "Check, please." "Father, do you think it's possible?" "Could humans still exist?" "Now, Crysta." "Don't you think you're a little old to believe in human tales?" "Human tails?" "Humans don't have tails." "They have big, big bottoms that they wear with bad shorts." "They walk around going, "Hi, Helen!"" "Did you really see humans?" " Were they at Mount Warning?" " Masses of Homo sapiens." "Hey!" "Where are you going?" "Yeah, this territory looks kinda familiar." "Fabulous day in the canopy, isn't it?" " Where do you think you're goin'?" " Mount Warning." "I know where I am." "I know where I am." "Hey!" "You scared me there." "For a minute I thought you said you were going to Mount Warning." "Well, I did." " But there are humans on Mount Warning!" " Exactly." "Fractured fig, fairy bug!" "Come on!" "Mount Warning is the last place in the world a little bug like you wants to go." "Look at these!" "You think nature did this?" "Do you think I put this in to get better reception?" "No!" "Humans did this." "We should stay here." "It's nice here." "Come on!" "You got a great set of wings." "Let's just flutter for a while." "Batty?" "Batty." "Well, come on!" "My heart!" "Oh, my heart!" "I can't go on." "Help me!" "My little wings can't make it." "Maybe you should wait here for me." "This is a fabulous idea." "I really think we should fly with that." "Only, why don't you stay here with me?" "It's okay, really." "I'll be right back." "Why do I not believe you?" " How're you comin' in your quadrant, Pete?" " All done here." "How 'bout you, Willie?" "Finito, good buddy." "How 'bout you, Zak?" "Zak?" "Zak?" "Zak?" "Zak!" "Yeah, yeah." "What's the big deal?" "You finished marking those trees yet?" "I'm gettin' to it." "Don't have a cow." "Sheesh!" " This city kid comes up here for a summer job." " He doesn't take it seriously." "That kid don't belong in the woods." "Freaky." "Gotcha!" "Hexxus." "Man!" "Look out!" "Bless your eyes with magic light, I give the gift of fairy size... sight!" "Lift!" "I need lift!" ""Don't go!" I said. "Bad idea." I said." "But would you listen?" "No." "Don't listen to Batty." "Well, what have we here?" "Shoes!" "Animals don't wear shoes." " A human!" " A tree!" "Take anything you want." "I won't tell the cops." "Huh?" " Are you all right?" " I'm fine." " What is going on here?" " The monster... it tried to eat you." " Monster?" " My friend and I saved you." "Oh, Batty." "Batty?" "Sonic interference." "What a nightmare." "I thought I saw a human." "Human!" "That's a human?" "Yes!" "Kill it!" "Restrain it!" "Medicate it!" "Something!" "Puff up." "They hate that." "Back!" "Back!" "Get back!" " Don't worry!" "I've got it scared." " No!" "Stop!" " I have but one claw, but beware." " Will you both just calm down?" "He tried to kill you!" "I did not!" "You did!" "Hold on!" "The only thing that tried to kill anybody... was that horrible monster in the forest." ""Monster"?" "What monster?" "The one that ate the tree." "It was terrible." "Tree?" "The leveler." " Hey, am-am I dead?" " No." "We could fix that for ya." " Then I must be dreaming." " Nope." "Aw, sure." "And what are you supposed to be... some kind of fairy?" "Of course I am." "What about you?" "Are you really a human?" "Last time I checked." "Listen, fairy, it's been weird, but I'm outta here, this dream is history." "Check this out." "♪ I've a basic inclination ♪" " No." "No." " ♪ A very primal need ♪" "♪ To inspect the vegetation ♪" "♪ For an egg or centipede ♪" "♪ I just can't control this hunger ♪" "♪I just can't seem to cut it back ♪" "♪ On my ravenous consumption ♪" "♪ You're a welcome little snack ♪" "♪ If I'm gonna eat somebody ♪" "♪ It might as well be you ♪" "♪ Can you dig it ♪" "♪ I can see you as a sandwich ♪" "♪ Or a strange exotic stew ♪" "♪Floating down the river ♪" " ♪ Like an oyster in a stew ♪ - ♪ Get funky one time ♪" "♪ He's gonna eat somebody ♪" "♪It might as well be you ♪" "♪ You know it Kick it one time ♪" "♪ Mmm ♪" "♪ Welcome to the food chain ♪" "No!" "You can't eat him." "He's a human." "What's a human?" "Delicious and nutritious." "Tastes just like chicken." "Wait!" "He's my friend." "Well, any friend of a fairy..." "Is a friend of mine." "Thanks a lot." "Man." "You owe me a free dinner after this one." " Are you okay?" " What happened to me?" "I'm three inches tall!" " I shrank you." " You what?" "Well, it was the most amazing thing." "Of course, it's not what the spell is really supposed to do." "But Magi Lune will fix you." "You shrank me?" " Yeah." " Catches on quick, doesn't he?" " We better buzz off." "It's getting late." " "Buzz off'?" "I'm not buzzing anywhere." "Now, unshrink me, and I mean now!" " Well, I guess I could take a bash at it." " "Take a bash"?" "Actually, I'm just sort of learning." "Great!" "I've been shrunk by an amateur." "I don't believe this." "Okay, come on." "Bash away." "Okay!" "What was done, now undo." "Return you to the form that's true." "Bbig ears." "Elephant!" "No, no, no." "Anteater!" "Orangutan!" "Okay, okay, let me guess." "A duck!" "A duck!" "It's Darwin's grab bag!" "Let me try again." " Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" " No, no, no!" "Thank you, but I think maybe we better go see this Magi." "I'm Zak." " I'm Crysta." " Nice to meet you." "You're going to love FernGully." "It's the most beautiful, wonderful place in the forest." "Well, come on." "Batty can carry you." "Moi?" "Not this little mammal." "Fly a human?" "I'd rather suck wax fruit." " Hey, Tony." " What?" "You see Zak anywhere?" "No, his shift's about over." "He probably cut out early." "That's the problem with the world today." "People are lazy." "I heard that with my bad ear." "What is that?" "Hey, Tony, you think the leveler can handle this baby?" " Sure." "That leveler eats everything." " Kinda like you." "How many times a day I gotta threaten your life?" "Hexxus." "I've got so many things I want to ask you." "Like, why have humans returned to the forest?" "And what was that monster that tried to eat you?" "That wasn't a monster." "That was a machine." "What's a "machine"?" "It's a... a thing..." "for cutting down trees." "That's terrible." "Only if you live in a tree." "I do live in a tree." "You didn't have anything to do with that "machine," did you?" "What, me?" "No." "No, no." "No, of course not." "How could I have anything to do with something that eats trees?" "Could it come to FernGully?" "Oh, no, no." "Of course not." "You've got nothing to worry about." " Why?" " Because, um, it's trapped." "I know." "By those red marks." " It can't go past them." "Well, they must be magic." " Yeah!" "You know, you're pretty smart, fairy." "I want to learn magic like yours." "Yeah?" "Well, here." "Come here." "What is it?" "It's fire." "That's fire?" "Careful!" "Delicious." "A first-class smoke." "Mother's milk." "What is this delightful thing, and how did I get out of that tree?" "Of course... humans." "What wonderful creatures." "So clever, so helpful." "I must take this wonderful human thing to..." "FernGully." "New orders, boys." "You're going to FernGully, and I want you there by morning." "By morning?" "I don't know if we can do that." "You'll just have to work harder, then." "Double shifts." "No breaks." "No breaks?" "And make sure you got plenty of oil." "Roger that." "We'll give her the gas." "Hey, Tone, you know what this means." "Yeah." "Beaucoup overtime." "What a miraculous device." "I'm really getting the hang of this." "I do believe we are destined to be soul mates." "♪ Hit me one time ♪" "♪ Hit me twice ♪" "♪ Oh, ah ♪" "♪ Oh, that's rather nice ♪" "♪ Oil and grime ♪" "♪ Poison sludge ♪" "♪ Diesel clouds and noxious muck ♪" "♪ Slime beneath me, mmm ♪" "♪ Slime up above ♪" "♪ Ooh, you'll love my ♪" "♪ Toxic love ♪" "♪ I see the world ♪" "♪ And all the creatures in it ♪" "♪ I suck 'em dry ♪" "♪ And spit 'em out like spinach ♪" "♪ 'Cause greedy human beings ♪" "♪ Will always lend a hand ♪" "♪ With the destruction of this worthless jungle land ♪" "♪ And what a beautiful machine ♪" "♪ They have provided ♪" "♪ To slice a patch of doom ♪" "♪ With my sweet breath to guide it ♪" "♪ Filthy brown ♪" "♪ Acid rain ♪" "♪ Pouring down ♪" "♪Like egg chow mein ♪" "♪ Slime beneath me ♪" "♪ Mmm, slime up above ♪" "♪ Ooh, you'll love my ♪" "♪ Toxic love ♪" "Crysta!" " Crysta!" " Hey!" " Any sign of her?" " Let's go back." " She's probably back home havin' dinner." "Yeah, or she's somebody else's dinner." "She's fine." "Now, keep looking." " We're lookin', we're lookin'." " Okay, yeah, we're lookin'." " We're lookin'." "What are we lookin' for?" " Look at us look." "We're lookin'." "Look!" "Is that what we're lookin' for?" "This is so incredible!" "What are the trees like where you live?" "Not like this." "I live in a city." ""City"?" "Yeah... buildings, traffic, roads, lights... a city." "Most humans live in cities." " There's not many trees there." " But how can you live without trees?" " Easy." " But trees give life." "They make the clouds, the rain, the air." "We've got air." "Yeah, if you don't mind getting all your minerals in one breath." "Don't you miss talking to the forest?" "Can't say I've actually talked with a forest before." "I do all the time." "What does it say?" "Well, listen." "♪It's raining like magic ♪" "♪It's falling like starlight ♪" "♪It's raining like magic ♪" "♪It's raining life ♪" "♪ The forest is breathing ♪" "♪And ferns are rejoicing ♪" "♪ The trees are all singing ♪" "♪Hey, it's raining life ♪" "♪Raining like magic ♪" "♪La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la It's raining life ♪" "So what about you, Crysta?" "I mean, what do fairies do anyway?" " "Do"?" " Yeah, I mean, do you have jobs or anything?" "What-What's a job?" "Guess that answers that question." "Look, um, what do you do all day?" " Help things grow." " Yeah?" "That sounds cool." "No, usually it's warm." " No, no." "Cool means hot." " What?" "Yeah." "You know..." "bodacious, bad, tubular." "Awesome use of the language, dude." "As in," ""You are one bodacious babe."" "And that's good." "I mean cool." "Yeah." "We're communicating now." "Tubular." "Morning!" "What are you doing?" "Carving your name." "See?" "C-R-Y-S..." "No, no, you mustn't do that." "Here." " Can't you feel its pain?" " "Its pain"?" "Yes." "Humans can't feel anything..." "they're numb from the brain down." "Zak." "He doesn't understand." "Did I say something wrong?" "So, which way to FernGully?" "Isn't this great?" " What is this place?" " This is FernGully." "Hey, Crysta, what's this?" "Careful, Stump." "He's a human." " Hey!" " Hey, how does it taste?" " A "hoo-man"?" " Is this what we're lookin' for?" "Let go of me!" " Crysta!" " Hey, that's my human!" "Hey!" "Oh, no!" "I'm blind!" "Oh, no!" "I can see!" "It's a miracle!" "Another perfect landing." "No worries." "I'm okay." "Thank you for caring." "It's just a few bruises." " Nobody cares about me." " I do, bat man." " You sure?" " I'm positive." " Only fools are positive." " Are you sure?" "I'm positive." "I fell for it!" " I should have known!" " Come on, Zak." "Crysta, we were so worried about..." " What's that?" " Father, I'd like you to meet Zak." " Hi." " He's a bodacious babe." " A what?" " He's a human!" "Somehow I thought they'd be..." "bigger." "Well, I had a little accident, and he sort of shrank." "But just think..." "humans back in the forest." "Yep, there goes the neighborhood." " Be nice, Batty." " First thing, all these trees go." "Then come your highways, then come your shopping malls and your parking lots... and your convenience stores, and then come..." "Price check on prune juice, Bob." "Price check on prune juice." "Crysta!" "Where you been?" "I've been looking all over for ya." "Pips, you won't believe what I found." "Isn't he amazing?" "Shouldn't we be charging admission for this?" "That's all you've got to say?" "I been out all night, and you want to show me this weird creature here?" "This "weird creature" is a human." "He's kinda small, ain't he?" "Look out!" "Pips, why don't you tell us about your strange treasure?" "Well, it's simple, really." "It's hard like stone, yet it's hollow." "And, yeah, it has this, ... it has this little vine coming out of it and... and..." "It's my stereo." "Look, I found it, so I'll explain it, all right?" "Okay." "Then what is it?" " Well, it's obviously, ..." " Yeah?" "Obviously, it's, ..." "Where are you going?" " It's alive!" " And it's noisy!" "It's a recording of music." "Well, I don't know what a recording is, but I know what music is, and that is not music." " ♪ Come on, everybody, gather 'round ♪" " Come on!" "♪Na, na-na-na-na na-na-na-na, na-na-na na-na-na ♪" " ♪Na-na-na-na ♪ - ♪I need somebody to help me Come on ♪" "♪Na, na-na-na-na na-na-na-na ♪" "Rock out, fairies!" "Come on!" "Move, move, move!" "Get the beat!" "♪ You gotta know how to pony like bony maroni ♪" " Audio pollution!" " ♪Hot potato ♪" "♪Do the alligator ♪" "♪Put your hands on your hips, yeah ♪" "♪Let the backbone slip ♪" "♪Do the Watusi ♪" "♪ With my little Lucy ♪" " ♪ Come on ♪" " Whoo-hoo!" "♪ Na, na-na-na-na na-na-na-na, na-na-na na-na-na ♪" "♪Na-na-na-na ♪" "♪ Na, na-na-na-na na-na-na-na, na-na-na na-na-na ♪" "♪Na-na-na-na ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ It sure feels good, yeah Like I knew it would ♪" "♪Feel all right, yeah ♪" "♪ You know way down in the alley ♪" " ♪ Long, tall Sally ♪" " Whoo!" "♪ Twistin' with the new thing ♪" "♪ Doin' the Watusi ♪" "♪ Roll over on your back, yeah ♪" "♪I like it like that ♪" "♪ Push it through the jerk ♪" " ♪ And then watch me watch me work ♪" " Hey!" "Come with me and the boys." "We'll give you a taste of real FernGully wildlife." "Unless, of course, you're not up to it, "Zap."" "I'm up to anything you can dish out, bud." " Not now, Pips." " Nuts!" " Come on, Zak." " Hey!" "Hey, where they goin'?" "See you around, "Zag."" "♪Anytime you want ♪" "♪ To be right here ♪" "♪Just imagine me ♪" "♪And all this will appear ♪" "♪ You can keep this moment ♪" "♪All your life forever near ♪" "Come on, Zak." "♪A dream worth keeping ♪" "♪ When you're feelin' lost ♪" "♪I'll be your star ♪" "♪Just reach out and touch me ♪" "♪No matter where you are ♪" "♪In a world where precious things ♪" "♪Are disappearing overnight ♪" "♪Just keep my star in sight ♪" "♪I believe ♪" "♪ We've found the dream ♪" "♪ That we're keeping ♪" "♪For more than just a day ♪" "♪And even though ♪" "♪ The winds of change ♪" "♪May come sweeping ♪" "♪It's still a dream worth keeping ♪" "♪So don't let it ♪" "♪Fade away ♪" "♪Someday you might be thinking ♪" "♪ That life has passed you by ♪" "♪ Your spirits might be sinking ♪" "♪ With hope in short supply ♪" "♪And that's the reason why ♪" "♪ That's the reason why ♪" "♪I know your dream's worth keeping ♪" "♪As long as it will stay ♪" "♪Even when you see ♪" "♪ The darkness come creeping ♪" "♪A dream worth keeping ♪" "♪ Will never fade away ♪" "Well, I guess I better go find Magi and get you unshrunk." " There's no hurry." " No, I promised." "Let it wait till tomorrow." "Come here." "No, I've got to tell her about you anyway." "Wait here." "I'll be back as soon as I can find her." "Can't you feel its pain?" "Oil." "The leveler." "Oh, no." "Run, little ones." "We'll catch up to you in FernGully soon enough." "Magi?" "Magi!" "Magi, I've got so much to tell you." "I went to Mount Warning, and I found a human." "Well, come on." "I want you to meet him." "Magi, what's wrong?" "Magi, can you heal it?" "A force outside of nature did this." "I can't heal it, and I can't stop it." "Zak can." "I know what did this, Magi." "A monster the humans fight." "Humans can stop it." "They have these magic red marks that..." "But Zak said..." "Humans did it." "Humans did it all." "Crysta!" " Hey, what's goin' on, Zak?" " What are you talkin' about?" "You know exactly what I'm talkin' about... the forest." " You know what's happening, don't you?" " What?" "Good idea." "Ask the human." "He may know." " Crysta..." " You lied to me!" "Crysta..." "I wish..." "I wish the human tales were true." "They're not here to protect the forest." "They're cutting down trees." "They're destroying the forest." "And I was helping them do it." "Batty was right." " I was?" " They're coming this way." "You can't stop them." "You'll have to leave." "The humans have released Hexxus." "Gather everyone in the circle." "You know, Zak, truth doesn't always win friends, but it certainly influences people." "You're not half bad for a hominid." "Father?" " Since the beginning of time," " Father." "We have been the guardians and the healers of the forest." "We have too long forgotten the magic powers of nature." "The time has come to call on them again." "All the magic of creation... exists within a single tiny seed." "We must go to Magi." "Look for the hero inside yourself, Crysta." "Look to the good and loving heart in you and all others." "For just as every seed holds the power and magic of creation, so, too, do you... and every other creature in this world." "Magi, don't leave me." "I love you." "I'll always be with you." "We all have a power, and it grows when it is shared." "Remember what you've learned, Crysta." "Magi." "I'm back!" "Hexxus!" "Tony, Ralph, stop!" "Come on!" "Let... go!" "Hey, it's safer in here." "Coming through!" "A fairy fortification!" "Crysta!" "Come on." "We gotta get everyone out of here." " No!" " Crysta!" "We can't." "We've got nowhere else to go." "This is our home." "Zak." "This is the last time I save you, human." "No!" "No, Batty." "Batty, take me back to the leveler." "Are you crazy?" "That's lemming talk." "Wrong channel!" "O Caesar, Emperor of Rome..." "Wrong channel!" "Well, all right, gummy." " We're goin' to war." " Yes, that's it!" "Back to the camp!" "Batty, let's go!" "Fasten your seat belts." "It's gonna be a bumpy night." "We're goin' in full throttle." "That ought to keep those rebel fighters off our tail." "Lock and load, gentlemen!" "Time to rock and roll!" " Tora, tora, tora!" " No, no, no!" "Batty, to the cab!" "Bogey, bogey!" "Bogey at 3:00!" "Red Leader!" "Red Leader!" "Did you see that?" "It looked like some kind of flying rat." "Aye, aye, Captain." "I can't get enough speed." "We got no dilithium crystals." "No!" " Batty, watch out!" " This is gonna hurt." " Oh, no!" " No!" "Hey, Tone, there's a little man on the windshield here." "Tony, Ralph, it's me!" "It's Zak!" " Hey, Tone..." " Keep it moving, boy!" "You need a set of your own wings." "Here's your first flying' lesson, Zak." "Thanks!" "I should've sprayed for pests." "Lovely wings." "So easily detached." "Yes!" "What happened to the energy?" "All the magic of creation exists within a single, tiny seed." " Crysta!" " No!" "No!" "Crysta." "Come on!" "Help it grow!" "Come on, guys!" " Come on!" " Let's go!" "Follow me!" "Crysta's gone." "Look!" "We did it, Zak." "Now Hexxus can never harm FernGully again." "But humans still could." "That's why I have to go back." "There's a part of me that really wants to stay." "There's a part of you that will always stay." "Remember, Zak." "Remember everything." "Keep the stereo, dude." " Thanks, dude." " Hey, he's not going already?" "He was a nice guy." " He just needed wings." " What was done, now undo." "Return you to the form... that's true." "Good-bye, Zak." "Batty." "I've shrunk!" " Zak!" " What happened here?" "I will remember." "Guys, things have gotta change." "Crysta, help it grow." "Hey!" "Where are you going?" "♪ You fell through a tunnel ♪" "♪Solid walls should be broken down ♪" "♪And you can't see the field of grain ♪" "♪Has been turned into a raging battleground ♪" "♪And you live with the consequence ♪" "♪ Tell me Why don't you understand ♪" "♪ You'll destroy all the love that's been created ♪" "♪Feeding mouths with an empty hand ♪" "♪And it's all such a simple thing Changin' everything ♪" "♪Listening to the one who brings all this love to you ♪" "♪Some other world Some other world ♪" "♪ That's where you live ♪" "♪Some other world Some other world ♪" "♪ That's where you live ♪" "♪Don't you care Stop and think about us and what you feel ♪" "♪I'll be there Don't you cut yourself off from what is real ♪" "♪Don't live in some other world ♪" "♪ Ooh, ooh ♪" "♪ You don't live in some other world ♪" "♪ Ooh, ooh ♪" "♪ There's a boat down from paradise ♪" "♪If you hurry you can ride it back ♪" "♪As my bait hits the water ♪" "♪It don't take long till the sharks attack ♪" "♪But it's all just a simple thing Changes everything ♪" "♪Let me be the one who brings all this love to you ♪" "♪Some other world Some other world ♪" "♪ That's where you live ♪" "♪Some other world Some other world ♪" "♪ That's where you live ♪" "♪Don't you care Stop and think about us and what you feel ♪" "♪I'll be there Don't you cut yourself off from what is real ♪" "♪Don't live in some other world ♪" "♪In some other world ♪" "♪ You don't live in some other world ♪" "♪In some other world ♪" "♪ Gotta stop livin' in some other world ♪" "♪Livin' here will change your mind ♪" "♪And it's all such a simple thing Changin' everything ♪" "♪Listen to the one who brings all this love to you ♪" "♪Some other world Some other world ♪" "♪ That's where you live ♪" "♪Some other world Some other world ♪" "♪ That's where you live ♪" "♪Don't you care Stop and think about us and what you feel ♪" "♪I'll be there Don't you cut yourself off from what is real ♪" "♪Don't live in some other world ♪" "♪ Ooh, ooh ♪" "♪ You don't live in some other world ♪" "♪ Ooh, ooh ♪" " ♪Some other world ♪ - ♪ This is our world ♪" "♪Not some other world ♪" "♪ You don't live in some other world ♪" "♪Live in our world ♪" "♪Not some other world ♪" "♪ You don't live in some other world ♪" "♪ This is our world not some other world ♪" "♪Some other world ♪" "♪Some other world ♪" "♪Some other world ♪" "♪ Ooh, ooh ♪" "♪Some other world ♪" "♪ Ooh Some other world ♪" "♪Some other world ♪" "♪ Ooh, ooh ♪" "♪Some other world ♪"

"Casa de Joey." " I decorated it myself." " Get out!" "Wow, Joey, this is..." " Art." " Art it is." "Check this out!" "Is it a coffee table?" "Is it a panther?" "There's no need to decide." "Hey, nice pillow." "So tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?" "Hey, excellent water, table thing." "Thanks." "I love this." "But you know what?" "It makes me want to pee." "Yeah, me too." "I think that's the challenge." "How come Chandler didn't come?" "It's because he had a thing with the with the thing." "Right." "I got it." "So why don't you show us the rest of your "casa"?" "The best part!" "Come on." "Nice toilet." "No, no, no." "Behind it." " You have a phone in here?" " That's right." "I have a phone." "In here." "Joey, promise me something." "Never call me from that phone." "The One Where Eddie Moves In" "Okay, here we go." "Sorry, they were all out of apple pie." "Someone just got the last piece." "Oh, my God!" "You won't believe this!" "I have just been discovered." "Wait a minute." "I claimed you in the name of France four years ago." "Anyway." "Don't freak out and say how great this is until I'm done." "I just met this producer of this teeny record company who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of "Smelly Cat"." "Okay, I told you not to do that yet." "And she wants to do a video." "I'm not done yet, okay?" "God!" "If that goes well, they may even want to make an album." "I'm done now." "If you care about me, get the pie out of the man's hood." " Get the what?" " There's a pie in the hood." "Go!" "What are you doing?" "I'm sorry." "My pie was in your hood." "I have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7." "Damn it, Ross!" "Get your butt out of the bathroom!" "Calm down." "I'm blow-drying." "Blow-drying what?" "You have no hair." "What's going on?" "Your boyfriend has been in there for an hour!" "It's like I'm living with him again." "He's here when I go to sleep and wake up and when I want to shower." "I feel like I'm 16 again." "Well, you're not 16." "You're both adults now." "Get out, you doofus!" "Or, you know, he's rubber and you're glue." "All yours." "I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain." "Shut up!" "Cut it out!" "I've never wanted you more." "So what do you say, boys?" "Should I call him?" "You know what they say:" "Ask your slippers a question you're going crazy." "I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today." "That's okay." "You had a thing." "I hear the place looks great." "Forget about it." "I'm having a ball!" "How's the apartment?" "It's terrific." "I mean, it's a regular space - fest!" "Well, great." "Yeah, I just wanted to call and say hey." "Well, okay." "Was that the oven timer?" "That's right, my friend." "It's time for Baywatch!" "Can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?" "I can't believe they made her lieutenant!" "You're saying that because you love Yasmine Bleeth." "How could anyone not love Yasmine Bleeth?" "Hey, they're running." "See, this is the brilliance of the show." "I say always keep them running." "All the time running!" "Run!" "Run!" "Run, Yasmine!" "Run like the wind!" "But you wanted to live by yourself." "I did." "I thought it'd be great." "I figured I'd have time alone with my thoughts." "But it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you think." "Why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?" "You really think he'd take me?" "We had a good talk last night but when I moved out, I hurt him bad." "He would definitely want you back." "I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back." "But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night." "I mean, it was..." "It was like when we first started living together." "I know you don't want to hear this right now but we've seen him in his new place." "And he's happy." "He's decorated." "Chandler, he has moved on, okay?" "You have to, too." "You'll have to accept the fact that you're just friends now." "You're not roommates anymore." "Okay, Phoebe." "You ready to try one?" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "What are they feeding you?" "Smelly, smelly, smelly Really bad smelling smelly cat" "Whoa!" "Oh, my God!" "I mean, like, who was that?" "They're your backup singers." "Behind you, hon." "I thought they were just watching me." "Like at an aquarium, you know?" "All right." "From the top." "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "What are they feeding you?" "Okay, sorry." "I'm just not getting that everyone gets how smelly this cat actually is." "Maybe if we could talk about this because I need to feel that you really care about the cat." "We can talk." "It's just that this costs $ 100 a minute to be in here." "So the cat stinks, but you love it." "Let's go." "No, there is no way he was a velociraptor." "Look at the cranial ridge, okay?" "If Dino was a velociraptor, he'd have eaten the Flintstones." "Were you taking a nap?" "I was." "Tony, can you hold on?" "That's the other line." "Yeah, she's here, but can she call you back?" "Okay, thanks." "Call Joanna." "Did she leave a number?" "Did you see me write one down?" "I don't have her number, butt-munch." "She'll call back." "Don't be such a baby." "You're the baby." " Get off my back." " Get out of my face." "Wait, hold on, Tony." "Hold on." "Yeah, she's right here." "Hold on." "Tony, can I call you back?" "That's my sister's boyfriend." "Give me that." "Sweetie, before I forget, did I leave my diaphragm at your place?" "Hi, Mom." "So how's the palace?" "It's funny you should mention that because I was thinking..." "What's with the boxes?" "Actually, I have some news." "Is that Joey guy gonna pick up his moose hat or should I toss it?" "Why don't you ask him yourself?" "This is my new roommate, Eddie." "Nice to meet you." " Likewise." " How you doing?" "I'll take that." "It's what I came for." "This is new." "Where'd you two meet?" "At the supermarket in the ethnic food section." "I helped him pick out a chorizo." "We got to talking." "He needed a place, and I had a spare room." "Now it's a spare room?" "Well, yeah." "In that it's not being used and I have it to spare." "Well, I got what I came for." "I'll see you." "Hey, Joe." "When'd you start using moose in your hair?" "Is this guy great, or what?" "Yeah, he is." "I can't believe he has a new roommate." "Who is he?" "Eddie." "He just met him." "It'll never last." "He's just a rebound roommate." "Check it out!" "Check it out!" "It's "Smelly Cat", the video!" "Now, I haven't seen it yet, so if you don't like it so what?" "None of you ever made a video." "Get out of here, cat!" "You stink!" "Smoking!" "Look at me!" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "What are they feeding you?" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "It's not your fault" "Smelly, smelly, smelly Really bad smelling smelly cat" "It's not your fault" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" " Oh, my God!" " I know." "I sound amazing!" "They won't take you to the vet" "You're obviously not their favorite pet" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "It's not your fault" "I've never heard myself sing before." "I mean, except in my own head." "This is so cool!" "Now I can hear what you hear!" "Pretty different, huh?" "I am sorry, but I'm incredibly talented!" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "It's not your fault" "What's going on, man?" "Eddie." "Morning." "I just came by to pick up my mail." " Where's the mail?" " Over there on the table." "You don't keep it on this table anymore?" "Eddie likes it over there." "All right, here you go, my friend." "Eggs á la Eddie." "That's great." "What?" "I thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, á la me!" "I do, but Eddie makes them this way." "They're pretty darn good." "Well, you guys I'm out of here." "See you, pals." "See you." " How are you two getting along?" " I couldn't be happier." "Great." "I'm happy for you." "All right, that's it!" "He just comes in here, Mr. Johnny New Eggs with his moving the mail and his "See you, pals"." "And now there's no juice!" "There's no juice for the people who need the juice." "I need the juice!" "There's another carton there." "This isn't about juice anymore, all right, man?" "All right." "So what's it about?" "Eggs!" "Whose eggs do you like better, his or mine?" " Well, I like both eggs equally." " Oh, come on!" "Nobody likes two eggs equally." "I wanna know which one you like better." "What's the difference?" "Your eggs aren't here anymore." "You took your eggs and you left!" "Did you expect me to never find new eggs?" "I wanna watch "Entertainment Tonight"." "Tough." "We're watching Predators of the Serengeti." "Would you guys stop!" "It's my TV!" " Quit it!" " Bite me!" "Monica keeps changing the channel." "That's great." "Why don't you tell Mommy on me?" "Now I'm Mommy in this little play?" "Look, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little Geller dimension thing, okay?" "So I'm gonna go take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy!" "What do we do about this?" "We could tape "Entertainment Tonight"." "Not that!" "This!" "Us!" "Oh, my God, Ross, it's..." "You're just..." "Since you've been here, you're driving me..." "Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, all right?" "I just can't stand you being here all the time!" "Why?" "Why can't you stand me being here?" "We're just having fun." "Fun?" "You think this is fun?" "I thought we were fooling around, like when we were kids." "I hated you when we were kids!" "You hated me when we were kids?" "I hated you." "I loved you in a you're-my-brother- so-I-have-to way but basically, I hated your guts." "Why did you hate me?" "Because you were mean to me and you teased me and you always got your way." "That wasn't fun for you?" "I can't believe you hated me." "But now I love you." "And not just because I have to." "Really?" "You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off." "I can do that." "Then I won't have to kill you." "So you wanna watch "Entertainment Tonight"?" "Thanks." "You know what?" "If you really wanna watch that Serengeti thing, we can." "Listen, you are not going to believe this but that is not me singing on the video." "How did you find out?" "The record company sent this paper for me to sign saying it's okay for someone else to sing for me." "That was my first clue." "What will you do?" "I can't work with people who would do this." "Sure." "I mean, this poor woman." "What woman?" "The voice woman." "She has a great voice, but she doesn't have a video." "Okay, Pheebs, but what about you?" "I have a video." "Pay attention." "This voice woman, she's so talented." "But according to the producer people, she doesn't have the right look." "She's like one of those animals at the pound who nobody wants because they're not pretty." "Or you know, like some old dog who's kind of like stinky and..." "Oh, my God!" "She's "smelly cat"!" "That song has so many levels." "Hey, Eddie." "You wanna play some foosball?" "No, thanks, man." "I'm not really into sports." "Yeah, okay." "All right." "Doesn't matter." "Time for "Baywatch"!" "You like that show?" "You don't?" "It's just pretty people running around on the beach." "That's the brilliance of it." "The pretty people." "And the running." "I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while." "Okay, man." "I think of all the friends I've known" "But when I dial the telephone" "No one's home" "All by myself" "Don't wanna live" "All by myself" "Anymore" "All by myself" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "What are they feeding you?" "Everybody!" "Smelly cat, smelly cat" "It's not your fault" "They won't take you to the vet" "You're obviously not their favorite pet" "You may not be a bed of roses" "And you're no friend To those with noses" "Ross, those are the only lines we have." "Back to the chorus!"

"South Park 906 512x384 Xvid 133MB" "The Death of Eric Cartman" "Dude, where is she?" "We can't wait." "God, this is gonna be sooo yummy." "Stan, you said your mom was bringing KFC home for dinner!" "Now is she or isn't she?" "!" "Hi boys." " Mom!" " She's here!" "She's got Colonel!" " I want some!" " I want a breast!" "Some extra-crispy thighs, extra crispy?" "Uuh uh uh, not so fast." "You boys can help bring in the other groceries in the car, then have your chicken." "But Mom, we've been waiting for hours!" "It won't take a minute." "Come on guys." "If we all help out, we can do it super-fast." " All right." " Let's go." "Oh my God, that smells good." "Okay, this is everything, mom." "All right, let's eat Colonel!" "Oh boy!" "Cartman, you ate the skin off of every piece of chicken!" "Well, I saved you all the chicken part." "The skin's the best part..." "Well, I gotta go home, guys." "I'm gonna sit on the toilet and read comic books." "See you at the bus stop tomorrow." "I can't believe that fat asshole!" "You can't believe it?" "He does this shit all the time!" "Well this time he's gone too far." "Why do we even hang out with him, anyway?" "Hello?" "I've been saying this for years!" "Well it's not like we're nice to him." "I mean, we rip on him all the time!" "Yes, but he thrives on that." "All right." "Then let's just ignore him." "From now on, let's not talk to him, let's not even acknowledge him." "That sounds great!" "Hey fags, what's going on?" "Dude, I was on the toilet all night from that chicken." "I thought I was gonna die." "Do any of you guys have milk money I can borrow?" "I think I have extra." "Oh wow, a Jew asking for money!" "There's a new one." "Yuh, you guys know why Jews have glassy eyes?" " Here you go." " Thanks." "Dude, Stan, yuh you know why Jews have glassy eyes?" "Like Kyle?" "K-Kenny, you see that chick on the news that had her left titty cut off?" "Kenny...?" "Kenny!" "?" "Stan?" "Stan, it's me, Eric!" "Eh..." "Kenny." "Kenny, you want fifty cents?" "Dude, look at me, Kyle, I'm right here!" "Wha...?" "How did...?" "Like they couldn't see or hear me." "It's almost as if I were... dead." "No." "No, I can't be dead." "I can't be dead!" "All right, ma'am." "We've got your new toilet installed and we'll haul away the old one away for ya." "Oh, you've been so helpful, I uh, just don't know how to thank you." "I could think of a few ways." "No!" "Noooo!" "What happened?" "Did they say?" "Apparently there was so much chicken skin in the system it just ruptured the insides." "Aww, that's tragic." "Oh my God, this can't be happening!" "Mom?" "Mom's crying?" "Oh God, it is true!" "Oh, it's not fair!" "Why?" "WHY?" "Hey fellas, w-where is Cartman?" "Cartman isn't our friend anymor" "We're ignoring him." "Ignoring him?" "How come?" "Beause he's a fat racist self-centered intolerant manipulating sociopath!" "Oh yeah." "Hey, I hate Cartman Can I ignore him with you?" " Yeah." " Me too." " Yeah, screw him!" "Yeah." "I never realized ignoring him was an option." "Guys!" "Guys?" "Can anybody hear me?" "You guys?" "Token, Token, I'm here!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Clyde, can't you feel me?" "Feel me, Clyde!" "Jimmy!" "Jimmy, it's me, Eric!" "Jimmy!" "Can't you feel your hair move?" "!" "That's me!" "They don't even know yet, that one of their best friends is dead." "Dead and... still wandering the earth a lost soul." "What is that kid doing?" "I don't know, just ignore him." "Lu lu lu, I've got some apples." "Lu lu lu, yuu've got some too" "What did I do to deserve this?" "!" "How can my own God forsake me?" "!" "Am I doomed to wander the Earth alone for all eternity?" "!" "Hey Eric!" "...What did you say?" "Huh I just said, "Hey Eric!"" "Butters..." "Butters!" "You can see me?" "Well, sure I can see you." "Oh my God, and you can hear me?" "Well, jeez Eric, why wouldn't I be able to hear you?" "Because, Butters," "I'm... dead." "Butters!" "Butters, I just want to talk to you!" "You died?" "How?" "I ate a bunch of chicken skin and it blew out my insides." "But if you're d-dead, how come I can see you?" "I don't know, but you're the only one who can." "Butters!" "Butters, Goddamnit, I need your help!" "Butters, what on earth are you doing?" "Well I think..." "I'm like the kid in that movie!" "I-I'm seeing dead people!" "Dead people?" "Who's seeing dead people?" "Me!" "I saw a ghost!" "Now, Butters, there's no such thing as ghosts." "But I saw him!" "Just as plain as I'm seein' you right now!" "Butters, these things happen all the time." "You've got a very active little brain and your mind was just playing tricks on you." "Ruh, really?" "Yeess." "So... so it was just... it was..." "just my ima... magination then?" "That's right." "There's no reason to be afraid of things that aren't real." "There's plenty of real things to be scared of." "Like super-AIDS." "Huh s-s-super-AIDS?" "That's right." "A new form of AIDS which is resistant to drugs." "Just one teaspoon of super-AIDS in your butt and you're dead in three years." "Oh Jesus." "So now you feel better?" "Ghosts don't exist and there's nothing to be afraid of." "Except the super-AIDS." "Nuh-nothing to be scared of." "Jus, just some lightning and thunder." "Gah!" "Wasn't nothin' neither." "J-just a muhouse." "Butters..." "Butters, you have to help me!" "Go away!" "You aren't real!" "All right, Butters, you leave me no choice." "Butters, what is going on?" "!" "Well it's all.." "Well he was..." "Nothin'" "I I just had a nightmare." "Well you'd better stop having nightmares or eles you're gonna be grounded!" "Y yes, yes sir." "Butters!" "Butters, Goddamnit, I'm not in your imagination!" "I'm dead and for some reason you can see me!" "But I don't want to see you!" "Get a hold of yourself!" "I'm the one who died!" "And for some reason, my spirit is trapped here on Earth." "I can't find the passage to Heaven." "Well... how do you know you're supposed to go to Heaven?" "What do you mean?" "Well... how do you know you're not supposed to go to... you know..." "Heck." "I'm not going to Heck, Butters!" "I'm not black, all right?" "!" "Now look:" "I think the reason my soul is still here is because I need closure with all my friends and loved one." "I can say my final goodbyes to them through you." "I can't." "Ahah I have school tomorrow." "This is your problem, Butters!" "Either you help me, or I will haunt you for the rest of your life!" "Uh all right." "All right, I'll help you!" " Mrs. Cartman?" " Yes?" "Oh hi." "This is going to seem very strange and, and you may not believe me, but, well, your son wanted me to tell you something." "Oh, what is it?" "Tell her, tell her that I love her." "He says, he love you." "Oh, that's so nice." "Tell her, tell her that I wish..." "I wish I would have been a better son sometimes!" "He wishes he would have been a better son sometimes." "It's just that, it's just that I got so caught up with the rat race of life tryin' to succeed that I... sometimes... took my family for granted!" "He he got caught, he got caught up in the rat race of, of taking things for granted." "Oh, that's so sweet." "Oh, I love you too, poopiekins!" "Kyle, Eric wants you to know that he's, he's sorry for all the times he made fun of you being a no-good stinking Jew." "He's asking for your forgiveness." "And and he wants you to just remember the good times." "Just the good times." "There were no good times!" "And if he really feels bad he can just tell me himself!" "I can't!" "Don't you understand?" "!" "He can't!" "Don't you understand?" "!" "God forgave the Jews, you should be able to forgive me!" "God forgave the Jews, you should be able to forgive him!" "All right, come on, Butters, we gotta go tell Token I'm sorry for rippin' on him for bein' black." "Uhh all right then." "Who was that?" "It was Cartman having Butters apologize for him." "Dude, he did that to me this morning." "He probably thinks if he apologizes to everyone, we'll think he's changed and let him back into our circle." "Yeah, we know better than to think that." "Okay, that takes care of Token, Clyde, and Mr. Kitty." "That's eveyone, I guess." "All that leaves is you, Butters." "Butters, I'm sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you." "Aww, that's okay, Eric." "Well, it's all done." "My soul is at peace." "I think..." "I can go now." "So I won't see you again?" "Don't be sad, Butters." "Don't be sad, Butters." "What awaits each person in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest, and ten thousand dollars cash." "G'bye Butters." "I'm goin' to a better place." "Perhaps I'll see you again sometime!" "Good-bye!" "Yeh you're still here." "Goddamnit, what the fuck is going on?" "Well, I guess saying goodbye wasn't enough." "What else do I have to do?" "!" "Well, well, you know, the preacher says that before your soul can be at peace, sometimes, you have to atone for something bad you did." "Atone?" "Did you ever do anything really bad?" "Not really..." "Let's see." "Oh, and I broke Mr. Anderson's fence and never told him about it." "Broke fence... took a crap in the principal's purse... seven times." "Then there was the time I convinced a woman to have an abortion so I could build my own Shakey's Pizza." "I pretended to be retarded and joined the Special Olympics." "I tried to have all the Jew exterminated last spring." "Uuh, oh yeah, and there's this one kid whose parents I had killed and then made into chili which I fed to the kid." "Boy oh boy, Eric, you've got a lot to atone for." "Really?" "Really." "I mean, honestly, I don't know how you're gonna make up for all this." "I know how." "I'm gonna make, make it right." "I'm gonna take a little time and set things right." "Make, make it right." "I'm payin' for my sins and it sure feels great." "It feels so good to be making up" "For all the things I've done wrong." "I know now what the Good Lord in Heaven" "Wanted from me all along." "All along, I'm gonna make, make it right." "'Cause Jesus wants me to have a clean slate." "Not faking it, I'm making it right." "I'm payin' for my sins and it sure feels great." "Make, make it right!" "Make, make it right!" "Gonna make it right, girl, I've got to have your lovin' tonight!" "Well, there's everything, Butters." "I've made everything right." "Does this mean... you have to go now?" "Yes, Butters, my soul is finally at peace." "It's time for me to leave." "Goodbye Butters!" "Thanks for all your help!" "Be good and be safe." "Goodbye..." "Goddamnit, what?" "!" "I've made everything right!" "Oh jeez." "I I guess maybe your soul is stuck here for a different reason." "I want my eternal bliss!" "Do you think this is funny, God?" "!" "Do you think this is funny,..?" "Eric!" "Calm down." "Stupid butthole God!" "Butters!" "What have you done?" "!" "Ih ih it wasn't me!" "Ih it was the ghost!" "Oh, Stephen, I don't know if we should ground him or call a doctor." "No, I think you'd better call a doctor." "I'll ground him." "What do you think, Doctor?" "Your son is suffering from severe dementia." "He claims that the ghost of a dead friend talks to him." "This is usually a sign of schizophrenia brought on by some tragic event in the child's past." "I think it's best that we take him to the mental center and do some tests." "Oh no." "NO!" "INSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH" "All right, Butters, just try to relax." "Doin' just fine, Butters." "Just stay perfectly still now, Butters." "Good." "You're gonna feel a little pinch now, Butters." "Don't worry, Mr. Stotch." "Whatever traumatized yoru son in his past, we'll find it." "Well, after fourteen hours of testing," "I can say Butters is definitely suffering from aggravated repressied memory syndrome." "You see, Butters, when the brain wants to cover something up, it makes up images and sounds for you to hear." "So... the ghost was in my head." " The whole time." " Now do you believe us, Butters?" "Yes!" "Uh yes sir!" "I believe you." "Good." "We're making a lot of headway." "We'll do some more testing tomorrow." "All right, folks." "Let's let Butters get some rest." "Goodnight, baby" "Butters!" "Don't worry, Butters, I'm gonna get you out of here." "Please leave me alone, Eric." "My bottom is really sore." "I found the woman you need to talk to for me." "Look!" "Doctor Lindsay, expert in the paranormal." "She can tell us what to do!" "Eric, ye-you're just an image in my head brought on by a traumatic event." "She's gonna close soon!" "Come on!" "Wuh I hate my stupid psychotic brain!" "Hello, ma'am." "May I talk to you?" "Certainly." "Come in." "Have a seat and tell me what it is you seek." "Well, there's this ghost, see?" "Only it probably isn't a ghost, ih-it's just a delusion brought on by my trauma." "Well I'm supposed to heh, help him, find out why his spirit is wandering' the Earth, even though I know that I'm most likely just completely insane." "Well, many times, the reason that the sould stays Earth-bound is because God is intending to use that soul for a divine purpose, to help prevent an impending tragic event." "Of course." "That's it, Butters!" "We had it wrong all the time!" "But now, you shouldn't think you're crazy, young man." "I see ghosts all the time." "Really?" "Yes." "When's the last time you saw yours?" "Well, he's sittin' next to me right now." "Hey, I think she could see you too." "You really are a ghost." "I told you, Butters." "This is breaking news!" "A tragic event is unfolding in South Park." "Three convicted murderers have escaped from jail and are holding twelve people at the Red Cross!" "Tom, the convicts were about to be arrested when they ran inside the Red Cross behind me, and threatened to kill all the workers inside." "The violent men are demanding a helicopter and two hundred thousand dollars cash." "Oh my God, this is it, Butters." "This is what I'm here to stop." "Come on, Butters." "This psychic boy and his ghost pal are going to save the day!" "Stay back, people!" "Stay back?" "!" "Hell, my wife and child are in there!" "Stay calm in there." "We don't want anybody getting hurt." "You get us a helicopter and two hundred thousand dollars or these people start dyin', man!" "All right, Butters, I'm going in alone, first." "Give me thirty seconds in there, and then you go in and free the hostiages." "Go in there?" "Uh, but they'll see me." "Don't worry." "I have a plan." "Eric." "Well, be careful, ghost pal." "They can't hurt me, Butters." "I'm already dead." "What the hell is that kid doing?" "Somebody's comin' in!" "It's just some little fat kid." "What the hell is going on?" "I have no idea." "Yes, it's working!" "This is really weird." "An incredible development here, Tom." "Two little boys have fearlessly gone inside the Red Cross." "Cartman?" "I'm so confused!" "Hurry." "Go, go!" "The hostages are clear!" "All right, move in!" "The hostages are gone!" "What?" "!" "Son of a bitch." "Tom, an incredible story of courage." "Two little boys, armed only with the weapon of confusion, managed to go in and save the Red Cross." "Nobody seems to know who the boys are or where they went off to, but they are heroes." "Well, we did it, Butters." "We saved the day." "Boy, we sure did." "My spirit is at rest now." "I can finally go to everlasting peace, eternal rest, and ten thousand dollars cash." "Butters, I think that, through this whole thing, we've really become friends." "Yeah." "Uh I feel that way too." "We both, kind of needed each other and.." "well..." "I'm gonna miss you." "I'll miss you too, ghost pal." "Goodbye Buttters." "I must be going now." "I'll be looking down on you from time to time." "Have a long, fulfilling life, Butters!" "Goodbyyye!" "Hey Cartman, that was really cool what you did." "Yeah Eric, we're gonna stop ignoring you now." "We didn't think that by pretending you didn't exist, you would really change, but you really have." "Well, anyway, we just wanna let you know." "Talk to you tomorrow." "Yeah." "S-see ya, Eric." "You sonofabitch Butters!" "You told me I was a ghost!" "Huh but I thought you were one!" "How stupid are you?" "!" "How stupid are you?" "!" "So help me GOD Butters, I'm gonna get you back for this!" "I'm going to" "GET YOU BACK!" "Butters?" "!" "Oh Hamburgers."

"With the coming of the Second World War many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully or desperately toward the freedom of the Americas." "Lisbon became the great embarkation point." "But not everybody could get to Lisbon directly." "And so a torturous, roundabout refugee trail sprang up." "Paris to Marseilles." "Across the Mediterranean to Oran." "Then by train or auto or foot across the rim of Africa to Casablanca in French Morocco." "Here, the fortunate ones, through money or influence or luck might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon." "And from Lisbon to the New World." "But the others wait in Casablanca." "And wait and wait and wait." ""To all officers:" "Two German couriers carrying official documents murdered on train from Oran." "Murderer and possible accomplices headed for Casablanca." "Round up all suspicious characters and search them for stolen document." "Important. "" "May we see your papers?" "I don't have them on me." "In that case, you'll have to come along." "It's possible that I..." "Yes." "Here they are." "These papers expired three weeks ago." "You'll have to come along." "Halt!" " What is going on?" " I don't know, my dear." "Pardon me." "Have you not heard?" "We hear very little and we understand even less." "Two German couriers were found murdered in the unoccupied desert." "This is the customary roundup of refugees, liberals and beautiful girls for Mr. Renault, the prefect of police." "With these refugees, the scum of Europe has gravitated to Casablanca." "Some have been waiting years for a visa." "I beg of you, monsieur." "Watch yourself." "Be on guard." "This place is full of vultures." "Vultures everywhere." "Everywhere." " Thank you." "Thank you very much." " Not at all." "Amusing little fellow." "Waiter." " How silly of me." " What, dear?" "I've left my wallet in the hotel." "Perhaps tomorrow we'll be on the plane." "It is good to see you, Maj. Strasser." "Thank you, thank you." "May I present Capt. Renault, the police prefect." "Unoccupied France welcomes you." "Thank you, it's good to be here." "Maj. Strasser, my aide, Lt. Casselle." " Capt. Tonelli, the Italian service" " That is kind of you." "You may find the climate of Casablanca a trifle warm." "We Germans must get used to all climates, from Russia to the Sahara." " But you're not referring to the weather." " What else?" "What's been done about the murders?" "My men are rounding up twice the usual number of suspects." " But we know who the murderer is." " Good." "Is he in custody?" "Tonight he'll be at Rick's." "Everybody comes to Rick's." "I've already heard about this café." "Also about Mr. Rick himself." "For nobody else Gave me a thrill..." "Honey, with all your faults I love you still..." "It had to Be You, wonderful you..." "It had to be you..." "'Cause my hair is curly..." "Waiting, waiting, waiting." "I'll never get out of here." "I'll die in Casablanca." "But can't you make it just a little more, please?" "Sorry, but diamonds are a drag on the market." "There are diamonds everywhere." "Twenty-four hundred." "All right." "The trucks are waiting." "The men are waiting." "Everything" "It's the fishing smack Santiago." "It leaves at one tomorrow night." "From the end of the marina." "Thank you." "And bring 15,000 francs in cash." "Remember, in cash." "Cheerio." " Open up, Abdul." " Yes, professor." " Waiter?" " Yes, madame?" "Will you ask Rick if he'll have a drink with us?" "Madame, he never drinks with customers." "Never." "I've never seen it." "What makes saloonkeepers so snobbish?" "Perhaps if you told him I ran the second-largest bank in Amsterdam." "The second largest?" "That wouldn't impress Rick." "The leading banker in Amsterdam is now the pastry chef here." "We have something to look forward to." "And his father is the bellboy." "Good!" "Excuse me." "I'm sorry, sir." "This is a private room." "Of all the nerve!" "Who do you think- I know there is gambling in there!" "You dare not keep me out!" "What's the trouble?" "I have been in every gambling room from Honolulu to Berlin." "If you think I'll be kept out of a saloon like this, you're mistaken." "Excuse me, please." "Hello, Rick." "Your cash is good at the bar." "What?" "Do you know who I am?" "I do." "You're lucky the bar is open to you." "This is outrageous!" "I shall report it to the angriff!" "Watching you now, one would think you've been doing this all your life." " What makes you think I haven't?" " Nothing." " But when you first came, I thought" " You thought what?" "What right do I have to think?" "May I?" "Too bad about those two German couriers." "They got lucky." "Yesterday, they were just clerks." "Today, they're the honored dead." "You're a very cynical person." "Forgive me for saying so." "I forgive you." "Will you have a drink with me?" "I forgot you never drink with- I'll have another, please." "You despise me, don't you?" "If I gave you any thought, I would." "But why?" "You object to the kind of business I do, huh?" "But think of all those poor refugees who must rot here if I didn't help them." "That's not so bad." "Through ways of my own, I provide them with exit visas." "For a price, Ugarte." "For a price." "Think of the poor devils who can't meet Renault's price." "I get it for them for half." "Is that so parasitic?" "I don't mind a parasite." "I object to a cut-rate one." "After tonight, I'll be through with the whole business." "And I'm leaving, finally, this Casablanca." "Who'd you bribe for your visa?" "Renault or yourself?" "Myself." "I found myself much more reasonable." "Look, Rick." "You know what this is?" "Something that even you have never seen." "Letters of transit signed by General de Gaulle." "Cannot be rescinded." "Not even questioned." "One moment." "Tonight, I'll be selling those for more money than even I ever dreamed of." "And then, addio, Casablanca." "I have many a friend in Casablanca, but just because you despise me you are the only one I trust." "Will you keep these for me?" " For how long?" " An hour." "Perhaps a little longer." "I don't want them overnight." "Don't be afraid of that." "Please keep them for me." "Thank you." "I knew I could trust you." "Waiter, I'll be expecting some people." "If anybody asks for me, I'll be right here." "Rick I hope you're more impressed with me now." "I'll share my good luck with your roulette wheel." "Just a moment." "I heard a rumor those German couriers were carrying letters of transit." "I've heard that rumor too." " Poor devils." " You're right, Ugarte." "I am a little more impressed with you." " Say, who's got trouble?" " We got trouble..." " How much trouble?" " Too much trouble..." "Well now, don't you frown Just knuckle down and knock on wood..." " Who's unhappy?" " We're unhappy..." " How unhappy?" " Too unhappy..." "That won't do When you are blue, just knock on wood..." " How unlucky?" " Too unlucky..." "But your luck'll change If you'll arrange to knock on wood..." " Who's got nothing?" " We got nothing..." " Now who's lucky?" " We're all lucky..." " Just how lucky?" " Very lucky..." "Well, smile up, then And once again..." "Let's knock on wood..." " Hello, Rick." " Hello, Ferrari." "How's business at the Blue Parrot?" " Fine, but I'd like to buy your café." " It's not for sale." " You haven't heard my offer." " It's not for sale at any price." " What do you want for Sam?" " I don't buy or sell human beings." "That's Casablanca's leading commodity." "In refugees alone, we can make a fortune together in the black market." "Suppose you run your business and let me run mine." "Suppose we ask Sam." "Maybe he'd like to make a change." "Suppose we do." "When will you realize that in this world isolationism is not a practical policy?" "Ferrari wants you to work for him at the Blue Parrot." "I like it fine here." " He'll double what I pay you." " But I ain't got time to spend money." "Sorry." "The boss's private stock." "Because, Yvonne, I love you." "Shut up." "All right." "For you, I shut up." "Because, Yvonne, I love you." "Monsieur Rick." "Some Germans gave this check." "Is it all right?" "Where were you last night?" "That's so long ago, I don't remember." " Will I see you tonight?" " I never make plans that far ahead." "Give me another." " She's had enough." " Don't listen to him." "Fill it up." "Yvonne, I love you, but he pays me." " I'm tired of having you" " Sascha, call a cab." " We'll get your coat." " Take your hands off!" "You're going home." "You've had too much to drink." "Hey, taxi!" "Who do you think you are, pushing me?" "What a fool I was to fall for you." " Go with her." "Be sure she gets home." " Yes, boss." "Come right back." "Yes, boss." " Hello, Rick." " Hello, Louis." "How extravagant, throwing away women like that." "Someday, they may be scarce." "I think I shall pay a call on Yvonne." "Maybe get her on the rebound." "When it comes to women, you're a true democrat." "If he gets a word in, it'll be a major Italian victory." "The plane to Lisbon." "You would like to be on it?" "Why?" "What's in Lisbon?" "The clipper to America." "I've speculated on why you don't return to America." "Did you abscond with the church funds?" "Run off with a senator's wife?" "I like to think you killed a man." "It's the romantic in me." "It's a combination of all three." "What brought you to Casablanca?" "My health." "I came to Casablanca for the waters." "The waters?" "What waters?" "We're in the desert." "I was misinformed." "Excuse me, Rick." "A gentleman inside has won 20,000 francs and the cashier would like some money." " I'll get it from the safe." " I'm so upset." "You know" "Forget it, Emil." "Mistakes happen all the time." "I'm awfully sorry." "There'll be some excitement tonight." "An arrest in your café." " Again?" " This is no ordinary arrest." "A murderer, no less." "If you're thinking of warning him, don't." "He cannot escape." " I stick my neck out for nobody." " A wise foreign policy." "We could've arrested him at the Blue Parrot." "Out of my regard for you, we're staging it here." "It will amuse your customers." "Our entertainment's enough." "We'll have an important guest tonight." "Maj. Strasser, of the Third Reich." "We want him to see the arrest as a demonstration of our efficiency." "I see." "What's Strasser doing here?" "He didn't come here to witness a demonstration of your efficiency." " Perhaps not." " Here you are." " It won't happen again." " That's all right." "Louis, there's something on your mind." "Why don't you spill it?" "How observant you are." "I wanted to give you a word of advice." "Yeah?" " Have a brandy?" " Thank you." "There are exit visas sold in this café, but we know you've never sold one." "That's why we let you remain open." "I thought it was because I let you win at roulette." "That is another reason." "There's a man arrived here on his way to America." "He'll offer a fortune to anyone who'll get him a visa." " What's his name?" " Victor Laszlo." "Victor Laszlo?" "That's the first time I've seen you impressed." "He's succeeded in impressing half the world." "It's my duty to see he doesn't impress the other half." "Rick, Laszlo must never reach America." "He stays in Casablanca." "It'll be interesting to see how he manages." "Manages what?" "His escape." " But I just told you" " Stop it." "He escaped the concentration camp." "Nazis have chased him through Europe." "This is the end of the chase." " Twenty thousand francs says it isn't." " Is that a serious offer?" "I just paid 20." "I'd like to get it back." "Make it 10." "I'm only a poor, corrupt official." " Okay." " Done." "No matter how clever he is, he still needs a visa." "Or, I should say, two." " Why two?" " He is traveling with a lady." " He'll take one." " I think not." "I've seen her." "If he did not leave her in Marseilles or in Oran he won't leave her in Casablanca." "Maybe he's not quite as romantic as you." "It doesn't matter." "There is no exit visa for him." "What ever gave you the impression that I might help Laszlo escape?" "Because I suspect that under that cynical shell you're at heart a sentimentalist." "Laugh if you will." "I'm familiar with your record." "Let me point out just two items." "In 1935, you ran guns to Ethiopia." "In 1936, you fought in Spain on the loyalist side." "And got well paid on both occasions." "The winning side would've paid much better." "Maybe." "It seems you're determined to keep Laszlo here." "I have my orders." "I see." "Gestapo spank." "You overestimate the influence of the Gestapo." "I don't interfere with them and they don't interfere with me." "In Casablanca, I am master of my fate." " I am" " Maj. Strasser is here, sir." " You were saying?" " Excuse me." "Carl, see that the major gets a good table, close to the ladies." "I've already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway." "Take him quietly." "Two guards at every door." " Everything is ready, sir." " Go ahead." " Good evening, gentlemen." " Good evening, captain." " Won't you join us?" " Thank you." "It's a pleasure to have you here." "Champagne and a tin of caviar." "May I recommend Veuve Clicquot '26?" "A good French wine." "Very well, sir." " A very interesting club." " Especially so tonight." "You'll see the arrest of the man who murdered your couriers." "I expected no less, captain." "Monsieur Ugarte." " Will you please come with us?" " Certainly." "May I first cash my chips?" "Very lucky." "Two thousand, please." "Two thousand." "Thank you." "Rick, help me!" " Don't be a fool." "You can't get away." " Rick, hide me!" "You must help me!" "Do something!" "Rick!" "Excellent, captain." "When they come to get me, I hope you'll be more help." "I stick my neck out for nobody." "I'm sorry there was a disturbance, folks, but it's all over now." "Sit down and have a good time." "Enjoy yourselves." "All right, Sam." "This is Maj. Heinrich Strasser of the Third Reich." " How do you do?" " How do you do?" "You know Herr Heinz of the Third Reich." "Please join us, Mr. Rick." "We are very honored tonight." "Maj. Strasser is one reason the Third Reich enjoys its reputation." "You say "Third Reich" as though you expect there to be others." "Personally, major, I will take what comes." "Do you mind if I ask a few questions?" " Unofficially, of course." " Make it official if you like." " What is your nationality?" " I'm a drunkard." "That makes Rick a citizen of the world." "I was born in New York City, if that'll help you." "I understand you came here from Paris during the occupation." "There seems to be no secret about that." "Are you one of those who can't imagine Germans in their beloved Paris?" "It's not particularly my beloved Paris." "Can you imagine us in London?" "When you get there, ask me." " Diplomatist!" " How about New York?" "There are sections of New York that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade." " Who will win the war?" " I haven't the slightest idea." "Rick is neutral about everything." "And that takes in the field of women too." "You weren't always so carefully neutral." "We have a complete dossier on you." ""Richard Blaine, American." "Age, 37." "Cannot return to his country. "" "The reason is vague." "We know what you did in Paris and why you left Paris." "Don't worry, we won't broadcast it." "Are my eyes really brown?" "You will forgive my curiosity." "The point is, an enemy of the Reich has come to Casablanca and we are checking up on anyone who can be of any help." "My interest in whether Laszlo stays or goes is purely a sporting one." "In this case, you have no sympathy for the fox?" "Not particularly." "I understand the hound's point of view too." "Laszlo published the foulest lies in the..." "Prague newspapers till we marched in." "And even after that, he continued to print scandal sheets in a cellar." "Of course, one must admit he has great courage." "He's clever." "Three times he slipped through our fingers." "In Paris, he continued his activities." "We intend not to let it happen again." "Excuse me." "Your business is politics, mine is running a saloon." "Good evening, Mr. Blaine." "You see, major?" "You have nothing to worry about Rick." "Perhaps." "Yes, monsieur?" " I reserved a table." "Victor Laszlo." " Yes, monsieur." "Right this way." "Two Cointreaux, please." "I saw no one of Ugarte's description." "Victor, I feel somehow we shouldn't stay here." "If we'd walk out so soon it'd only call attention to us." "Perhaps he's in some other part of the café." "Excuse me, but you look like a couple who are on their way to America." "You'll find a market for this ring." "I must sell it at a great sacrifice." " Thank you, but I don't" " Perhaps for the lady." "The ring is quite unique." "Yes, I'm very interested." "Good." "Your name?" "Berger, Norwegian." "At your service." "I'll meet you at the bar later." "We don't want the ring, but thank you for showing it to us." " Such a bargain." "That is your decision?" " It is." " Monsieur Laszlo, is it not?" " Yes." "Captain Renault, prefect of police." "What do you want?" "To welcome you to Casablanca and to wish you a pleasant stay." "It isn't often we have so distinguished a visitor." "Thank you." "I hope you'll forgive me, captain." "The present French administration hasn't always been so cordial." "May I present Miss Ilsa Lund?" "I was told you were the most beautiful woman to visit Casablanca." "That was a gross understatement." "You're very kind." " Won't you join us?" " If you'll permit me." "Emil, please." "A bottle of your best champagne." "Put it on my bill." "It's a game we play." "They put it on the bill, I tear it up." "Very convenient." "Captain, the boy who's playing the piano..." "Somewhere I've seen him." " Sam?" " Yes." "He came from Paris with Rick." "Rick?" "Who's he?" " You are in Rick's." "Rick is..." " Is what?" "Mademoiselle, he's the kind of man- If I were a woman and I weren't around, I'd be in love with Rick." "But what a fool I am talking to a beautiful woman about another man." "Excuse me." "Major." "Mademoiselle and monsieur, may I present Maj. Strasser?" "How do you do?" "This is a pleasure I've looked forward to." "I'm sure you'll excuse me if I'm not gracious." "But you see, I am a Czechoslovakian." "You were a Czechoslovakian." "Now you're a subject of the German Reich." "I've never accepted that privilege." "And I'm now on French soil." "I'd like to discuss some matters arising from your presence on French soil." "This is hardly the time or the place." "Then we'll state another time and place." "Tomorrow at 10 in the prefect's office." "With mademoiselle." "Capt. Renault, I am under your authority." "Is it your order we come to your office?" "Let us say it is my request." "That is a much more pleasant word." "Very well." "A very clever tactical retreat, major." "This time, they really mean to stop me." "Victor, I'm afraid for you." "We've been in difficult places before, haven't we?" "I must find out what Berger knows." " Be careful." " I will." "Don't worry." "Mr. Berger, the ring." "Could I see it again?" "Champagne cocktail, please." "I recognize you from the news photographs." "In a concentration camp, one is apt to lose a little weight." "I read five times that you were killed in five places." "As you see, it was true every single time." "Thank heaven I found you." "I'm looking for a man named Ugarte." "He's supposed to help me." "Ugarte cannot even help himself." "He's under arrest for murder." "He was arrested here tonight." "I see." "But we, who are still free, will do all we can." "We are organized." "Underground, like everywhere else." "Tomorrow night, there is a meeting at the Café du Roi." "If you'll come" "Will you ask the piano player to come over here?" "Very well, mademoiselle." " How's the jewelry business?" " Not so good." "Check, please." "Too bad you weren't here earlier." "We had quite a bit of excitement, right?" "Yes." "Excuse me, gentlemen." " My bill." " No." "Two champagnes." "Please." "Yes, sir." " Hello, Sam." " Hello, Miss Ilsa." "I never expected to see you again." "It's been a long time." "Yes, ma'am." "A lot of water under the bridge." " Some of the old songs, Sam." " Yes, ma'am." "Where is Rick?" "I don't know." "I ain't seen him all night." "When will he be back?" "Not tonight no more." "He ain't coming" "He went home." "Does he always leave so early?" "Oh, he never- He's got a girl up at the Blue Parrot." "Goes up there all the time." "You used to be a much better liar, Sam." "Leave him alone, Miss Ilsa." "You're bad luck to him." "Play it once, Sam." "For old time's sake." "I don't know what you mean, Miss Ilsa." "Play it, Sam." "Play "As Time Goes By. "" "I can't remember it." "I'm a little rusty on it." "I'll hum it for you." "Sing it, Sam." "You must remember this..." "A kiss is just a kiss..." "A sigh is just a sigh..." "The fundamental things apply..." "As time goes by..." "And when two lovers woo..." "They still say, "I love you"" "On that you can rely..." "No matter what the future brings..." "As time goes by..." "Sam, I thought I told you never to play" "You were asking about Rick and here he is." "May I present" " Hello, lisa." " Hello, Rick." "You've already met Rick?" "Then perhaps you also" "This is Mr. Laszlo." " How do you do?" " How do you do?" "One hears a great deal about Rick in Casablanca." "And about Victor Laszlo everywhere." " Join us for a drink?" " Rick never" "Thanks, I will." "Well!" "A precedent is being broken." "Emil?" "A very interesting café." "I congratulate you." " I congratulate you." " What for?" "Your work." "Thank you." "I try." "We all try." "You succeed." "She was asking about you earlier in a way that made me extremely jealous." "I wasn't sure you were the same." " The last time we met" " Was La Belle Aurore." "How nice." "You remembered." "That was the day the Germans marched into Paris." "Not an easy day to forget." "I remember every detail." "The Germans wore gray, you wore blue." "Yes." "I put that dress away." "When the Germans march out, I'll wear it again." "You're becoming quite human." "I suppose we have to thank you for that." "Ilsa, I don't wish to be the one to say it, but it's late." "So it is." "We have a curfew here in Casablanca." "It wouldn't do for the chief of police to be drinking after hours." "I hope we didn't overstay our welcome." " Your check, sir." " My party." "Another precedent gone." "This has been a very interesting evening." "I'll call you a cab." "Gasoline rationing, time of night..." " We'll come again." " Anytime." " Say good night to Sam." " I will." "There's still nobody in the world who can play "As Time Goes By" like Sam." "He hasn't played it in a long time." "Good night." "Good night." "A very puzzling fellow." "What sort is he?" "I really can't say, though I saw him quite often in Paris." " Tomorrow at 10 at the prefect office." " We'll be there." "Good night." "Boss?" " Boss?" " Yeah?" " Ain't you going to bed?" " Not right now." "Ain't you planning on going to bed in the near future?" " You ever going to bed?" " No!" "I ain't sleepy either." "Then have a drink." " Not me." " Well, don't have a drink." "Let's get out of here." "No, sir." "I'm waiting for a lady." "Let's go." "Ain't nothing but trouble for you here." "I know she's coming back." "We'll drive all night." "We'll get drunk and stay away till she's gone." "Shut up and go home, will you?" "No, sir." "I'm staying right here." "They grab Ugarte, then she walks in." "That's the way it goes." "One in, one out." " Sam." " Yes, boss." "If it's December, 1941, in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?" "What-?" "My watch stopped." "I bet they're asleep in New York." "I bet they're asleep all over America." "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world she walks into mine." " What are you playing?" " A little something of my own." " Stop it." "You know what I wanna hear." " I don't." "You played it for her, you can play it for me." " I don't remember" " If she can stand it, I can." "Play it!" "Yes, boss." "Who are you really?" "And what were you before?" "What did you do and what did you think?" "We said no questions." "Here's looking at you, kid." "A franc for your thoughts." "In America they'd bring only a penny." "I guess that's about all they're worth." "I'm willing to be overcharged." "Tell me." "Well, I was wondering why I'm so lucky, why I should find you waiting for me to come along?" "Why there is no other man in my life?" "That's easy." "There was." "He's dead." "I'm sorry for asking." "I forgot we said no questions." "Only one answer can take care of all our questions." "Nothing can stop them now." "Wednesday they'll be in Paris." "They'll find out your record." "It won't be safe here." "I'm on their blacklist already." "Their "roll of honor. "" "Hearts full of passion..." "Jealousy and hate..." "Woman needs man..." "And man must have his mate..." "That no one can deny..." "It's still the same old story..." "A fight for love and glory..." "A case of do or die..." "The world will always welcome lovers..." "As time goes by..." "Henri wants us to finish three more bottles." "He'll water his garden with champagne before he lets the Germans drink it." "This ought to take the sting out of being occupied." "You said it." "Here's looking at you, kid." "My German's a little rusty." "It's the Gestapo." "They say they expect to be in Paris tomorrow." "They're telling us how to act when they come marching in." "With the world crumbling, we pick this time to fall in love." "Yeah, it's pretty bad timing." "Where were you 10 years ago?" "Ten years ago?" "Let's see..." "Yes, I was having a brace put on my teeth." "Where were you?" "Looking for a job." "Was that cannon fire?" "Or my heart pounding?" "It's the German 77th, and judging by the sound, only about 35 miles away." "And getting closer every minute." "Here, here, drink up." "We'll never finish the other three." "Germans will be here pretty soon and they'll come looking for you." "There's a price on your head." "I left a note in my apartment." "They'll know where to find me." "It's strange." "I know so very little about you." "I know little about you." "Except that you had your teeth straightened." "Be serious." "You're in danger." "You must leave Paris." "No, we must leave." "Yes, of course." "We." "The train for Marseilles leaves at 5." "I'll pick you up at your hotel at 4:30." "Not at my hotel." "I..." "I have things to do in the city before I leave." "I'll meet you at the station." "All right, at a quarter to 5." "Why don't we marry in Marseilles?" "That's too far ahead to plan." "I guess it is a little too far ahead." "What about the engineer?" "Why can't he marry us on the train?" "Why not?" "The captain on a ship can." "It doesn't seem fair that" "What's wrong, kid?" "I love you so much." "And I hate this war so much." "It's a crazy world." "Anything can happen." "If you shouldn't get away..." "If something should keep us apart wherever they put you and wherever I'll be, I want you to know that I" "Kiss me." "Kiss me as if it were the last time." "All aboard!" "The last train leaving in three minutes." "Have you seen her?" "I can't find her." "She checked out of the hotel." "But this note came just after you left." "That's the last call, Mr. Richard." "Do you hear me?" "Come on, Mr. Richard." "Let's get out of here." "Come on." "Rick, I have to talk to you." "I saved my first drink to have with you." "Here." " No, Rick." "Not tonight." " Especially tonight." "Why did you have to come to Casablanca?" "There are other places." "I wouldn't have come if I'd known that you were here." "Believe me, it's true." "I didn't know." "It's funny how your voice hasn't changed." "I can still hear it." ""Richard, dear, I'll go with you anyplace." " We'll get on a train and never stop. "" " Don't, Rick." "I can understand how you feel." "You understand how I feel?" "How long was it we had, honey?" " I didn't count the days." " Well, I did." "Every one of them." "Mostly, I remember the last one." "The "wow" finish." "A guy standing on a platform in the rain with a comical look on his face from his insides having been kicked out." "Can I tell you a story, Rick?" "Has it got a "wow" finish?" "I don't know the finish yet." "Go on, tell it." "Maybe one will come to you as you go along." "It's about a girl who'd just come to Paris from her home in Oslo." "At the house of some friends she met a man about whom she'd heard her whole life." "A very great and courageous man." "He opened up for her a beautiful world full of knowledge, thoughts and ideals." "Everything she knew or ever became was because of him." "She looked up to him and worshiped him with a feeling she supposed was love." "Yes, that's very pretty." "I heard a story once." "I've heard a lot of stories in my time." "They went along with the sound of a tinny piano playing in the parlor downstairs." ""Mister, I met a man once when I was a kid," they'd always begin." "I guess neither one of our stories is very funny." "Tell me who was it you left me for?" "Was it Laszlo, or were there others in between or aren't you the kind that tells?" "I suspect Ugarte left the letters of transit with Mr. Blaine." "I suggest you search the café immediately." "If Rick has them, he's too smart to let you find them there." "You give him credit for too much cleverness." "My impression was that he's just another blundering American." "We mustn't underestimate American blundering." "I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1918." "As to Laszlo, we want him watched 24 hours a day." "It may interest you to know that at this moment he's on his way here." "There's nothing we can do." "I'm delighted to see you both." "Did you rest well?" "I slept well." "That's strange." "Nobody's supposed to sleep well in Casablanca." " May we proceed with the business?" " With pleasure." "Sit down." "We won't mince words." "You're an escaped prisoner of the Reich." "So far, you've been fortunate enough in eluding us." "You have reached Casablanca." "It is my duty to see that you stay here." "Whether or not you'll succeed is problematic." "Not at all." "Renault's signature is necessary on every visa." "Is it possible Herr Laszlo will receive a visa?" "I'm afraid not." "My regrets, monsieur." "Well, perhaps I shall like it in Casablanca." "And mademoiselle?" " You needn't be concerned about me." " Is that all you wish to tell us?" "Don't be in a hurry." "You have all the time in the world." "You may be in Casablanca indefinitely." "Or you may leave for Lisbon tomorrow." "On one condition." "And that is?" "You know the leader of the underground movement in Paris, in Prague in Brussels, in Amsterdam, in Oslo, in Belgrade, in Athens..." " Even Berlin." " Yes, even in Berlin." "If you'll furnish me with their names and whereabouts, you'll have your visa." "And the honor of having served the Third Reich." "I was in a German concentration camp for a year." "That's honor enough for a lifetime." "You'll give us the names?" "If I didn't give them to you in a concentration camp where you had more persuasive methods at your disposal I certainly won't give them to you now." "What if you track them down and kill them?" "What if you murdered us all?" "From every corner of Europe, hundreds thousands would rise to take our places." "Even Nazis can't kill that fast." "You have a reputation for eloquence, which I can now understand." "But you're mistaken." "You said enemies of the Reich could be replaced." "There is one exception." "No one could take your place if anything unfortunate should occur to you while you're trying to escape." "You won't dare to interfere with me here." "This is still unoccupied France." "Any violation of neutrality would reflect on the captain." " Insofar as it is in my power..." " Thank you." "By the way, last night you evinced an interest in Señor Ugarte." "Yes." "You have a message for him." "Nothing important." "May I speak to him now?" "You would find the conversation a trifle one-sided." "Señor Ugarte is dead." "I'm making the report." "We haven't quite decided whether he committed suicide or died trying to escape." " Are you finished with us?" " For the time being." "Good day." "Their next step will be to the black market." "Excuse me, captain." "Another visa problem has come up." "Show her in." "Sorry, we wouldn't be able to handle the police." " This is a job for Señor Ferrari." " Ferrari?" "It can be most helpful to know Ferrari." "He has a monopoly on the black market here." "You'll find him at the Blue Parrot." "Thanks." "Don't be too downhearted." "Perhaps you can come to terms with Capt. Renault." " Hello, Ferrari." " Good morning, Rick." "I see the bus is in." "I'll take my shipment." " No hurry." "Have a drink." " I never drink in the morning." "Every time you send my shipment, it's always a bit short." "Carrying charges, my boy." "Here, sit down." "There's something I want to talk over with you." "The news about Ugarte upsets me." "You're a fat hypocrite." "You don't feel any sorrier than I do." "Of course not." "What upsets me is that he's dead and no one knows where those letters are." "Practically no one." "If I had those letters, I could make a fortune." "So could I, and I'm a poor businessman." "I've a proposition for whoever has them." "I'll handle the transaction." "Get rid of the letters, take all the risk, for a small fee." "And the carrying charges?" "Naturally, there will be a few incidental expenses." "That's my proposition for whoever has the letters." "I'll tell him when he comes in." "I'll put my cards out." "I think you know where they are." "You're in good company." "Renault and Strasser probably think so too." "I came over here to give them a chance to ransack my place." "Don't be a fool." "Take me into your confidence." "You need a partner." "Excuse me, I'll be getting back." " Good morning." " Ferrari is the fat gent at the table." "You won't find a treasure like this in all Morocco." "Only 700 francs." "You're being cheated." "It doesn't matter, thank you." "For friends of Rick's we have a small discount." "Did I say 700 francs?" "You can have it for 200." "I'm sorry I was in no condition to receive you last night." "It doesn't matter." "Special friends of Rick's get a special discount." "One hundred francs." "Your story had me confused, or maybe it was the bourbon." "I have some tablecloths" " I'm really not interested." " Please, one minute." "Did you come back to tell me why you ran out on me at the station?" "Yes." "You can tell me now." "I'm reasonably sober." "I don't think I will." "Why not?" "I got stuck with the railway ticket." "I'm entitled to know." "Last night I saw what has happened to you." "The Rick I knew in Paris, I could tell him." "He'd understand." "But the one who looked at me with such hatred..." "I'll be leaving soon and we'll never see each other again." "We knew very little about each other when we were in love in Paris." "If we leave it that way, maybe we'll remember those days, and not Casablanca." "Not last night." "Did you run out on me because you knew what it'd be like?" "Hiding from the police, running away all the time?" "Believe that if you want to." "I'm not running away anymore." "I'm settled now." "Above a saloon, it's true, but..." "Walk up a flight." "I'll be expecting you." "All the same, someday you'll lie to Laszlo." "You'll be there." "No, Rick." "No." "You see, Victor Laszlo is my husband." "And was, even when I knew you in Paris." "I was just telling Laszlo that unfortunately, I'm not able to help him." "The word has gone around." "As leader of all illegal activities, I'm an influential and respected man." "But it'd not be worth my life to do anything for Laszlo." "You, however, are a different matter." "Señor Ferrari thinks it might just be possible to get an exit visa for you." " You mean for me to go on alone?" " And only alone." "I'll stay and keep trying." "I'm sure in a little while" "Might as well be frank." "It'd take a miracle to get you out." "The Germans have outlawed miracles." "We're only interested in two visas." " Please, lisa, don't be hasty." " No, Victor." "You two will want to discuss this." "Excuse me." "I'll be at the bar." "No, I won't let you stay here." "You must get to America." "Somehow I'll get out and join you." "If the situation were different if I had to stay and there was only one visa would you take it?" "Yes, I would." "Yes, I see." "When I had trouble getting out of Lille why didn't you leave me?" "When I was sick in Marseilles for two weeks and you were in danger why didn't you leave me?" "I meant to." "Something always held me up." "I love you very much." "Your secret will be safe with me." "Ferrari is waiting for our answer." "Not more than 50 francs." "We've decided, Señor Ferrari." "For the present we're looking for two visas." "Thank you very much." "Good luck, but be careful." " You know you're being shadowed?" " It becomes instinct." "I observe that you, in one respect, are very fortunate." "I'll make one suggestion." "Why, I do not know." "It cannot possibly profit me." "Have you heard about the letters of transit?" "Yes, something." "They were not found on Ugarte when they arrested him." " You know where they are?" " Not for sure." "But my guess is Ugarte left those letters with Rick." "He's a difficult man." "One never knows what he'll do, or why." "But it is worth a chance." "Thank you very much." "Good day." "Bye." "Thank you for your coffee." "I shall miss that when we leave." "It was gracious of you to share it with me." " Monsieur." " Good day." " Here's to you, sir." " Good luck." " I'd better be going." " Check, please." "I have to warn you." "This is a dangerous place, full of vultures." " Vultures everywhere." "Thanks." " Goodbye." "It has been a pleasure to meet you." "I'm sorry." "You are getting to be your best customer." "Well, drinking!" "I'm very pleased with you." "You're beginning to live like a Frenchman." "That's some going-over your men gave my place." "We barely got cleaned up in time to open." "I told Strasser he wouldn't find the letters." "But I told my men to be especially destructive." "You know how that impresses Germans." "Rick, have you got those letters of transit?" "Louis, are you pro-Vichy or Free French?" "Serves me right for asking a direct question." "The subject is closed." "It looks like you're a little late." "So Yvonne's gone over to the enemy." "Who knows?" "In her own way, she may constitute an entire second front." "It's time for me to flatter Strasser." "I'll see you later." "Sascha!" "French '75." "Put up the whole row of those." "Starting here and ending here." "We will begin with two." "What did you say?" "Would you repeat it?" "What I said is not your business." "I'll make it my business." "I don't like disturbances in my place." "Lay off politics or get out." "You see, captain?" "The situation is not under control." "We're trying to cooperate with your government." "We can't regulate our people's feelings." "Are you certain which side you're on?" "I have no conviction." "I blow with the wind and the prevailing wind is from Vichy." "And if it should change?" "Surely the Reich doesn't admit that possibility?" "We're concerned about more than Casablanca." "Every French province in Africa is honeycombed with traitors waiting for their chance, waiting perhaps for a leader." "A leader?" "Like Laszlo?" "I have been thinking." "It is too dangerous if you let him go or let him stay." "I see what you mean." "Thank you, Carl." "Thank you, Carl." "Sit down." "Have a brandy with us." "To celebrate our leaving for America tomorrow." "Thank you very much." "I thought you'd ask me, so I brought the good brandy and the dress glass." "At last the day's came!" "We are speaking nothing but English now." "So we should feel at home when we get to America." "A very nice idea." "To America." "To America." "What watch?" " Ten watch." " Such much?" "You'll get along beautifully in America." "How is lady luck treating you?" "Oh, too bad." "You'll find him over there." "Monsieur Rick?" " Could I speak to you?" " How'd you get in?" "You're underage." " I came with Capt. Renault." " I should've known." "My husband is with me too." "He is?" "Renault's getting broad-minded." "Sit down." "Have a drink?" "Of course not." "You mind if I do?" "Monsieur Rick, what kind of a man is Capt. Renault?" "Like any other man, only more so." "No, I mean..." "Is he trustworthy?" "Is his word" "Who told you to ask me that?" "He did." "Capt. Renault." "I thought so." "Where's your husband?" "At the roulette table, trying to win enough for our exit visas." "Of course he's losing." "How long have you been married?" "Eight weeks." "We come from Bulgaria." "Things are very bad there." "The devil has the people by the throat." "So Jan and I, we..." "We don't want our children to grow up there." "So you decided to go to America." "But we have not much money and traveling is so expensive and difficult." "It was more than we thought to get here." "Then Capt. Renault sees us." "He's so kind." "He wants to help us." "Yes, I'll bet." "He tells me he can give us an exit visa." "But we have no money." " Does he know that?" " Yes." "And he's still willing to give you a visa?" "You want to know..." "Will he keep his word?" "He always has." "You are a man." "If someone loved you very much so that your happiness was the only thing she wanted in the world and she did a bad thing to make certain of it could you forgive her?" "Nobody ever loved me that much." "And he never knew, and the girl kept this bad thing locked in her heart that would be all right?" " You want my advice?" " Yes, please." "Go back to Bulgaria." "But if you knew what it means to us to leave Europe, to get to America." "But if Jan should find out..." "He is such a boy." "In many ways, I am so much older than he is." "Yes, everybody in Casablanca has problems." "Yours may work out." "You'll excuse me." "Good evening." "See?" "Here we are again." "I'll take that as a compliment to Sam." "I suppose he means to you Paris of happier days." "He does." "Could we have a table close to him?" "And as far away from Strasser as possible." "The geography may be difficult to arrange." "Paul, table 30." "Right this way, if you please." "I'll have Sam play "As Time Goes By. " I believe that's your favorite." "Thank you." "Two cognac, please." "Do you wish to place another bet, sir?" "No, I guess not." "Have you tried 22 tonight?" "I said "22. "" "Leave it there." "Cash it in and don't come back." "Are you sure this place is honest?" "Honest?" "As honest as the day is long." "How are we doing tonight?" "A couple of thousand less than I thought there would be." "He's just a lucky guy." "Monsieur Rick, may I get you a cup of coffee?" "No thanks, Carl." " Capt. Renault, may I" " Not here, please." "Come to my office." "We'll be businesslike." " We'll be there at 6." " I'll be there at 10." "I'm very happy for both of you." "Still, it's very strange that you won." "Well, maybe not so strange." " I'll see you in the morning." " Thank you so much." "Boss, you've done a beautiful thing." "Go away, you crazy Russian." "As I suspected." " You're a rank sentimentalist." " Why?" "Why interfere with my little romances?" "Put it down as a gesture to love." "I forgive you this time." "But I'll be in tomorrow with a breathtaking blonde." "And it'll make me very happy if she loses." "I wonder if I could talk to you?" "Go ahead." "Isn't there some other place?" "It's rather confidential, what I have to say." " In my office." " Right." "You know it's very important I get out of Casablanca." "I'm privileged to be one of the leaders of a great movement." "You know what I've been doing." "You know what it means to the work, to the lives of thousands of people that I continue my work." "I'm not interested in politics." "The problems of the world are not in my department." "I'm a saloonkeeper." "My friends in the underground tell me that you've quite a record." "You ran guns to Ethiopia." " You fought the fascists in Spain." " What of it?" "Isn't it strange you always seem to fight with the underdog?" "I found that an expensive hobby." "But then I never was much of a businessman." "Are you enough of a businessman to appreciate 100,000 francs?" "I appreciate it, but I don't accept it." "I'll raise it to 200,000." "Make it a million francs or three." "My answer would still be the same." "There's a reason you won't let me have them." "There is." "I suggest that you ask your wife." " I beg your pardon?" " I said, ask your wife." " My wife?" " Yes." "Play "La Marseillaise. " Play it!" "See?" "If Laszlo's presence in a café can inspire this demonstration what more will his presence here bring on?" "I advise that this place be shut up at once." " Everybody's having a good time." " Much too good a time." "The place is to be closed." " But I've no excuse to close it." " Find one." "Everyone is to leave immediately." "This café is closed until further notice." "Clear the room at once!" "On what grounds?" "I'm shocked to find that gambling is going on in here." " Your winnings, sir." " Thank you." "Everybody out at once!" "After this disturbance, it's not safe for Laszlo to stay in Casablanca." "This morning it wasn't safe for him to leave." "That's also true, except to return to occupied France." " Occupied France?" " Under safe conduct from me." "Of what value is that?" "Remember what German guarantees have been worth in the past." "There are only two other alternatives." "What are they?" "French authorities may find a reason to put him in the concentration camp here." "The other alternative?" "Perhaps you have already observed that, in Casablanca, human life is cheap." "Good night, mademoiselle." " What happened with Rick?" " We'll discuss it later." "Our faithful friend is still there." "Please don't go to the underground meeting." "I must." "It isn't often that a man gets to display heroics before his wife." "Don't joke." "After Strasser's warning tonight, I'm frightened." "I'm frightened too." "Shall I remain here in a hotel room, hiding?" "Or carry on the best I can?" "Whatever I'd say, you would carry on." "Why don't you tell me about Rick?" "What did you find out?" " Apparently he has the letters." " Yes?" "But he won't sell them." "I'd think if sentiment won't persuade him, money would." "Did he give you any reason?" "He suggested I ask you." "Ask me?" "Yes." "He said, "Ask your wife. "" "I don't know why he said that." "Our friend outside will think we've retired by now." "I'll be going in a few minutes." " Ilsa, I" " Yes?" "When I was in the concentration camp were you lonely in Paris?" "Yes, Victor." "I was." "I know how it is to be lonely." "Is there anything you wish to tell me?" "No, Victor." "There isn't." "I love you very much." "Yes." "Yes, I know." "Whatever I do, will you believe that I" "You don't even have to say it." "I'll believe." "Good night, dear." "Good night." "Yes, dear?" "Be careful." "Of course I'll be careful." "Well, you are in pretty good shape, Herr Rick." "How long can I afford to stay closed?" "Two weeks, maybe three." "Maybe I won't have to." "A bribe worked before." "In the meantime, everybody stays on salary." "Thank you." "Sascha will be happy to hear it." "I owe him money." " You finish locking up, will you?" " I will." " Then I'm going to the meeting" " Don't tell me." "I won't." "Good night." "Good night, Mr. Rick." " How did you get in?" " The stairs from the street." "I told you you'd come around, but this is ahead of schedule." "Won't you sit down?" " Richard, I had to see you." " "Richard" again." "We're back in Paris." "Your visit isn't connected by any chance... with the letters of transit?" "As long as I have them, I'll never be lonely." "Ask any price, but give me those letters." "I went through that with your husband." "It's no deal." "I know how you feel about me but please put that aside for something important." "Do I have to hear again how great your husband is what an important cause he's fighting for?" "It was your cause too." "In your way you were fighting for the same thing." "I'm not fighting for anything anymore, except myself." "I'm the only cause I'm interested in." "We loved each other once." "If those days meant anything at all" "I wouldn't bring up Paris." "It's poor salesmanship." "Listen." "If you knew what really happened, if you knew the truth" "I wouldn't believe you no matter what." "You'd say anything now to get what you want." "You want to feel sorry for yourself?" "With so much at stake, all you can think of is your own feeling." "One woman has hurt you, and you take revenge on the rest of the world." "You're a coward and a weakling!" "No." "Richard, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, but you- You are our last hope." "If you don't help us, Victor will die in Casablanca." "What of it?" "I'm gonna die in Casablanca." "It's a good spot for it." "Now, if you'll" "All right." "I tried to reason with you." "I tried everything." "I want those letters." "Get them for me." "I don't have to." "I got them right here." "Put them on the table." "No." "For the last time, put them on the table." "If Laszlo and the cause mean so much to you, you won't stop at anything." "All right, I'll make it easier for you." "Go ahead and shoot." "You'll be doing me a favor." "I tried to stay away." "I thought I would never see you again." "That you were out of my life." "The day you left Paris if you knew what I went through." "If you knew how much I loved you." "How much I still love you." "And then?" "It wasn't long after we were married that Victor went back to Czechoslovakia." "They needed him in Prague." "But the Gestapo were waiting for him." "Just two lines in the paper:" ""Victor Laszlo apprehended." "Sent to concentration camp. "" "I was frantic." "For months I tried to get word." "Then it came." "He was dead." "Shot, trying to escape." "I was lonely." "I had nothing, not even hope." "Then I met you." "Why weren't you honest?" "Why keep your marriage a secret?" "It wasn't my secret, Richard." "Victor wanted it that way." "Not even our closest friends knew about it." "He was protecting me." "I knew about his work." "If the Gestapo found out I was his wife, it'd be dangerous for me and for those working with us." "When did you first find out he was alive?" "Just before you and I were to leave Paris." "A friend came and told me that Victor was alive." "They hid him in a freight car in the outskirts of Paris." "He was sick." "He needed me." "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't dare." "I knew you wouldn't have left and the Gestapo would have caught you, so I..." "Well, you know the rest." "It's still a story without an ending." "What about now?" "Now?" "I don't know." "I know I'll never have the strength to leave you again." "And Laszlo?" "You'll help him now, won't you?" "You'll see that he gets out." "Then he'll have his work." "All that he's been living for." "All except one." "He won't have you." "I can't fight it anymore." "I ran away from you once." "I can't do it again." "I don't know what's right any longer." "You have to think for both of us." "For all of us." "All right." "I will." "Here's looking at you, kid." "I wish I didn't love you so much." " I think we lost them." " Yes." "They caught some of the others." "Come inside." "Come, Mr. Laszlo." "I will help you immediately." "I'll give you some water." "Carl, what happened?" "The police break up our meeting." "We escaped in the last moment." " Come up here a minute." " Yes, I come." "Turn out the light at the rear." "It may attract police." "Sascha always puts it out." "Tonight he forgot." "Yes, I come." "I will do it." "Take Miss Lund home." "Yes, sir." "Just a little cut." "We had to get through a window." "This might come in handy." "Thank you." "Had a close one?" "Yes, rather." "Don't you sometimes wonder if it's worth all this?" "I mean, what you're fighting for." "We might as well question why we breathe." "We stop breathing, we'll die." "We stop fighting our enemies, the world will die." "What of it?" "Then it'll be out of its misery." "You know how you sound?" "Like a man who's convincing himself of something he doesn't believe." "Each of us has a destiny." "For good or for evil." "I get the point." "I wonder if you do." "I wonder if you know you're trying to escape from yourself." "You'll never succeed." "You seem to know all about my destiny." "I know a good deal more about you than you suspect." "I know that you're in love with a woman." "It's perhaps a strange circumstance that we're in love with the same woman." "The first evening I came into this café I knew there was something between you and lisa." "Since no one is to blame I demand no explanation." "I ask only one thing." "You won't give me the letters all right." "But I want my wife to be safe." "I ask you as a favor to use the letters to take her away from Casablanca." "You love her that much?" "Apparently, you think of me only as the leader of a cause." "I'm also a human being." "Yes, I love her that much." " Mr. Laszlo?" " Yes?" "Come with us." "We have a warrant for your arrest." "On what charge?" "The captain will discuss that with you later." "It seems that destiny has taken a hand." "You haven't any proof." "This isn't Germany or occupied France." "You can fine him and give him 30 days." "You might as well let him go." "I advise you not to be interested in what happens to Laszlo." "If you help him to escape" "Why do you think I'd stick my neck out for him?" "Because, one, you bet 10,000 francs he'd escape." "Two, you've got the letters." "Don't bother to deny it." "You might do it because you don't like Strasser's looks." "I don't like them either." "They're all excellent reasons." "Don't count too much on my friendship." "In this matter, I'm powerless." "Besides, I might lose 10,000 francs." "You're not very subtle, but you are effective." "I get the point." "Yes, I have the letters." "I intend using them myself." "I'm leaving Casablanca on tonight's plane." "The last plane." "I'm taking a friend with me." "One you'll appreciate." " What friend?" " Ilsa Lund." "That ought to put your mind to rest about my helping Laszlo escape." "The last man I want to see in America." "You didn't come here to say this." "You have the letters." "Fill in your name and hers and leave anytime you please." "Why do you still care what happens to Laszlo?" "I'm not." "But I am interested in what happens to lisa and me." "We have a legal right to go, but people have been held here in spite of their legal rights." "Why do you think we want to hold you?" "Ilsa is Laszlo's wife." "She probably knows things Strasser would like to know." "I'll make a deal with you." "Instead of this petty charge, you could get something really big that would chuck him in a camp for years." "That'd be a feather in your cap." "It certainly would." "Germany- Vichy would be grateful." "Then release him." "Be at my place a half-hour before the plane leaves." "Laszlo will come there to pick up the letters." "That'll give you the grounds to make the arrest." "You get him, and we get away." "To the Germans, that last will be just a minor annoyance." "There's still something I don't understand." "Miss Lund, she is very beautiful, yes but you were never interested in any woman." "She isn't just any woman." "I see." "How do I know you'll keep your bargain?" "I'll make the arrangements with Laszlo in the visitor's pen." "I'm gonna miss you." "You're the only one here who has even less scruples than I." "Thanks." "Go ahead, Ricky." "Call off your watchdogs when you let him go." "I don't want them around today." "I'm taking no chances, not even with you." "Should we draw it up, or is a handshake good enough?" "Certainly not good enough." "But since I'm in a hurry, it'll have to do." "Ah, to get out of Casablanca and go to America!" "You're a lucky man." "My agreement with Sam is that he gets 25% of the profits." "That still goes." "I happen to know he gets 10%." "But he's worth 25." "Abdul, Carl and Sascha stay with the place or I don't sell." "Of course." "Rick's wouldn't be Rick's without them." "So long." "Remember you owe Rick's 100 cartons of cigarettes." "I shall remember to pay it to myself." " You're late." " I was informed as he left the hotel." "So I'm on time." " I said to tie up your watchdogs." " He won't be followed." "This place won't be the same without you." "I've already spoken to Ferrari." "You'll still win at roulette." "Is everything ready?" "I have the letters here." "When we searched the place, where were they?" "Sam's piano." "Serves me right for not being musical." "Here they are." "You better wait in my office." "Victor thinks I'm going with him." "Haven't you told him?" " Not yet." " But it's all right, isn't it?" "Everything's quite all right." "We'll tell him at the airport." "The less time to think, the easier." "Trust me." "Yes, I will." " I don't know how to thank you." " Save it." "We still have a lot to do." " I brought the money." " Keep it, you'll need it in America." " We made a deal." " Never mind that." "You won't have trouble in Lisbon?" "No." "It's all arranged." "Good." "The letters are made out in blank." "All you have to do is fill in the signatures." "Victor Laszlo you're under arrest." "For accessory to the murder of the couriers from whom these were stolen." "You're surprised about Ricky?" "The explanation is simple." "Love, it seems, has triumphed over virtue." "Thank" "Not so fast, Louis." "Nobody's gonna be arrested." "Not for a while yet." " Have you taken leave of your senses?" " I have." "Sit down." "I don't want to shoot you, but I will if you take one more step." "Under the circumstances, I will sit down." "Keep your hands down." "I wonder if you realize what this means?" "I do." "We'll discuss that later." "Call off the watchdogs, you said." "Call the airport." "You tell them." "Remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart." "That is my least vulnerable spot." "Hello?" "Is that the airport?" "Capt. Renault speaking." "There'll be two letters of transit for Lisbon." "There's to be no trouble about them." "Good." "My car, quickly." "This is Strasser." "Have police meet me at the airport at once." "At once, do you hear?" "Hello, radio tower?" "Lisbon plane taking off in 10 minutes, east runway." "Visibility one and one-half miles." "Light ground fog." "Depth of fog approximately 500." "Ceiling unlimited." "Thank you." "Have him go with Laszlo to take care of his luggage." "Certainly, Rick, anything you say." "Find Mr. Laszlo's luggage and put it on the plane." "This way, please." "Fill in the names." "That'll make it even more official." "You think of everything, don't you?" "The names are Mr. And Mrs. Victor Laszlo." "But why my name?" "You're getting on that plane." "But what about you?" "I'm staying here till the plane gets away." "What's happened to you?" "Last night" "Last night we said a great many things." "You said I was to do the thinking for us." "I've done a lot." "It all adds up to one thing:" "You're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong." "Now, you've got to listen to me." "Do you know what you'd have to look forward to here?" "We'd both wind up in a concentration camp." "Isn't that true?" "Maj. Strasser would insist." " You're saying this to make me go." " I'm saying it because it's true." "Inside we both know you belong with Victor." "You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going." "If that plane leaves and you're not with him, you'll regret it." "Maybe not today, not tomorrow, but soon." "For the rest of your life." "But what about us?" "We'll always have Paris." "We didn't have." "We'd lost it until you came to Casablanca." "We got it back last night." " When I said I would never leave you." " And you never will." "I've got a job to do too." "Where I go, you can't follow." "What I have to do, you can't be part of." "I'm no good at being noble." "But it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world." "Someday you'll understand that." "Here's looking at you, kid." " Everything is in order." " All except one thing." "There's something you should know." "I don't ask you to explain anything." "It may make a difference to you later on." "You said you knew about lisa and me." "She was at my place last night when you were." "She came there for the letters." "Isn't that true?" "Yes." "She tried everything." "Nothing worked." "She did her best to convince me that she was still in love with me." "But that was all over long ago." "For your sake, she pretended it wasn't." "I let her pretend." "I understand." "Here it is." "Thanks." "I appreciate it." "Welcome back to the fight." "This time I know our side will win." "Are you ready?" "Yes, I'm ready." "Goodbye, Rick." "God bless you." "Better hurry." "You'll miss that plane." "I was right." "You are a sentimentalist." "Stay where you are." " I don't know what you mean." " What you did for Laszlo." "And that fairy tale to send lisa away with him." "I know a little about women." "She went, but she knew you were lying." "Anyway, thanks for helping me out." "This isn't going to be pleasant for either of us." "Especially for you." "I'll have to arrest you." "As soon as the plane goes." "What was the meaning of that phone call?" "Victor Laszlo is on that plane." "Why do you stand here?" "Why not stop him?" "Ask Monsieur Rick." "Get away from that phone." "Do not interfere." "I was willing to shoot Renault." "I'll shoot you." "Put that phone down." " Get me the radio tower." " Put it down!" "Maj. Strasser has been shot." "Round up the usual suspects." "You're not only a sentimentalist, but you've become a patriot." "Maybe." "It seemed like a good time to start." "I think perhaps you're right." "It might be good for you to disappear from Casablanca for a while." "There's a Free French garrison at Brazzaville." "I could arrange passage." "My letter of transit?" "I could use a trip." "But it doesn't change our bet." "You still owe me 10,000 francs." "And that 10,000 francs should pay our expenses." ""Our" expenses?" "Louis I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"A woman may concern, this is Robert J. Freeman, astrophysicist, soccer star, ex-UFC welterweight champion." "For many of you, this will be the last time hearing from me, for as of today, I'm deleting my Facebook account forever." "I launched this page with high hope that it might help me find a woman to love me on those lonely nights when I'm not jetting around the world fighting terrorism." "But all you bitches turn out to be [bleep] crazy." "Like that [bleep] crazy Carlita, the Dominican drug queen." "An average-size man can smuggle more cocaine in his rectum than you think." "Or that [bleep] crazy Tara, who tried to kidnap my grandson Riley." "He's just adorable!" "I can't give him back!" "You can't make me!" "You can't make me!" "And that [bleep] crazy Dr. Ellen Jackson, who lured me with promises of romance and free checkups and then tried to harvest my organs!" "Aah!" "From now on, I'm out of the game." "Fortunately, I don't blame myself." "I blame all of you." "I know many of you ladies are saying, "No, Robert!" "You can't take that good loving away from us!"" "Well, it's too late." "It's gone forever." "And so, with no regrets, I hereby commit Facebook hari-kari." "Delete!" "♪ I am the stone that the builder refused ♪" "♪ I am the visual, the inspiration that made the lady sing the blues ♪" "♪ I'm the spark that makes your idea bright ♪" "♪ the same spark that lights the dark ♪" "♪ so that you can know your left from your right ♪" "♪ I am the ballot in your box, the bullet in the gun ♪" "♪ the inner glow that lets you know to call your brother son ♪" "♪ the story that just begun ♪" "♪ the promise of what's to come ♪" "♪ and I'ma remain a soldier till the war is won ♪" "♪ chop chop chop ♪" "Man, this weekly jog was a great idea, wasn't it?" "Look at us." "We're workout buddies." "Hey, speaking of buddies, I read your Facebook suicide note, man." "Oh, I'm really sorry." "I'm not just giving up on Facebook." "I'm giving up on women." "It's pointless." "These women out here are insane!" "Robert, Robert." "The key to happiness is to eliminate all black women from your life." "I mean, look at me." "No black women in my life." "Look how happy I am." "I'm happier than a nigga with a new gun." "Now, Ruckus, that is preposterous." "Oh, preposterous?" "Preposterous?" "Really?" "Really?" "Answer me a question." "Is you happy?" "Sure am!" "Aha!" "See?" "No black women in his life, neither." "Nigga-free, and that's how he need to be." "Just because I'm married to a white woman doesn't mean there's a single thing wrong with black women." "True, but you did marry a white woman." "You have to find the woman who makes you happy, Robert." "Well, black women don't want to be happy." "They squeeze about seven or eight of them little nappy-headed children by the time they 21." "It's all downhill from there." "Look at that." "Oh, that woman's body over there -- that's a temple." "A black woman's body is a temple of doom!" "When was the last time you saw a black woman jogging, Robert?" "Ask yourself that question!" "And I ain't talking about them super-steroided she-males in the" "Olympics that tuck they testicles up, either." "Well, come to think of it..." "Uh-huh!" "That's what I thought." "You ain't never seen one 'cause black women don't jog." "That way, they don't sweat out all them industrial-strength toxic-avenger chemicals they use to straighten out they hair." "Sarah loves to jog." "Well, of course she do." "Sarah is a human being." "Okay, fellas, enough of the guy talk jibber-jabber talky-talk." "Can we just start running already?" "Come on!" "You coming?" "I ain't running with y'all two niggas in the park." "Police might shoot me by mistake." "See you on the other side, nigga!" "Oh." "Ooh-Whoo!" "Mmm." "Mmm-mmm-mmm." "Mm-mmm." "♪ I know you're the one for me, baby ♪" "Oh." "I'm sorry." "You don't mind if I stop here, do you?" "Uh, n-no." "Y-you're jogging?" "Well, just love keeping myself in shape." "It's murder on my hair, but you know -- no point in having the best hair at my own funeral." "Ebony " " Ebony Brown." "♪ Everything is ♪" "Boys, guess what!" "I met a woman, and she asked me out on a date." "Grab the gun." "Got it!" "You get the sword." "Hurry up." "Get to the car." "Where's she at?" "Do we need to sneak out the back?" "I like this one." "She's different." "Your dating life has been a serious threat to the safety of you, the people in this house..." "And, really, the entire neighborhood." "Not her." "I met her at the park." "What was she doing in the park in the middle of the day, huh?" "She was jogging." "She lookin' for some lonely old man to take advantage of." "Really?" "I guess it's possible." "You know what?" "I'm gonna call her and cancel our date." "Can you just take it slow this time and maybe not bring her back here until you sure she's safe?" "You know what?" "Never mind." "I said I was giving up on women." "That's what I'm gonna do." "Maybe your problem with women is you pick crazy ones." "But you can't hold that against every new woman you meet." "Don't you always complain about women who can't let go of their baggage?" "Don't be a hypocrite, granddad." "Be a hypocrite, granddad." "Hello, there, chimpan-- uh, monkey " "I-I mean, Negro female." "Welcome to -- oh." "Damn it, Ruckus." "How can you work at all these places at one time?" "Hello, Robert." "What a surprise to see you here with your female companion." "Robert, who's this?" "This is just the valet guy." "Mr. valet guy, can I speak to you over here about the car?" "Robert Freeman, I swear, every time I'm ready to count you amongst the smartest of the accursed sons of ham, you manage to prove me wrong!" "I want you to leave us alone tonight, Ruckus." "You're not gonna ruin this for me." "We're just gonna get to know each other." "Oh, really?" "Really?" "Well, I'll tell you everything you need to know right now." "She got kids, she got a police record, and she got debt up to her wide nostrils." "Well, we'll see about that." "But you just leave us alone." "I've never been here." "Mmm, you smell so good, Ebony." "Thank you." "Mmm, everything looks great." "Robert?" "Aah!" "Is something wrong?" "Nothing's wrong." "Just very excited to get to know you." "That's all." "Tell me about yourself." "What do you want to know?" "Anything." "You can tell me about the last time you were arrested or a funny story about the collection Agent or about one of your many, many, many kids." "I've never been arrested, and I don't have any kids, and I have perfect credit." "Really?" "Uh..." "Uh..." "I need to use the restroom." "Ruckus, you were wrong." "No record, no kids, no nothing!" "She passed the test." "She didn't pass the test." "She just smarter than you." "Let me talk to her." "No!" "Don't you go over there, Ruckus!" "Leave me alone!" "I got to go pee." "I'm okay." "Thanks." "Phew!" "Don't mess it up." "Be calm." "Take it slow." "Mm-hmm." "Hot date tonight, huh, brother?" "Yeah." "It's like everything she say is perfect." "But I'm taking it slow." "Just getting to know each other." "Mm-hmm." "There you go." "Good luck, brother." "Oh, I'm sorry." "All I have is a $5." "All right, I'll take that for now." "But don't you think a $5 is a bit much?" "All you did was turn the water on and hand me a paper towel." "I didn't even ask for it." "You don't have to ask for that!" "It comes with the service, nigga, just like the assortment of gums, mints, lotions, and hair-care products." "But I didn't use any of that stuff." "I just had to pee." "I'm happy to tip, but a $5 is too much." "Too much?" "!" "For sitting a foot and a half away from piss and [bleep] and nasty-ass farts from you [bleep]" "For six hours straight, nigga?" "!" "Well, I shouldn't have to go to the ATM machine every time I want to use the [bleep] bathroom." "Nigga, get your ass away from my commodes!" "[bleep] you!" "Oh, no, no, you don't!" "No, no!" "Get your ass back here with my mints!" "You lucky I ain't allowed to leave this bathroom, nigga!" "Hmm?" "Oh, I always hear y'all complaining about a shortage of black men." "Well, clearly, you hadn't checked jail." "Jail?" "I can't do any better than jail?" "Oh!" "Now you too good for jail." "Is that it?" "A jail nigga was good enough for mama but not good enough for you, huh?" "Ruckus, stop!" "Ebony, don't listen to him." "He's half-retarded." "He's only got one eye!" "No, no, Robert!" "I'm doing this for your own good." "Robert, your friend is too funny." "What?" "I mean, his views are obviously reprehensible, but there's just enough truth to make me examine myself in a critical light." "Plus, he's hilarious and, thus, oddly likable." "Huh?" "Well, it's a..." "It's -- it's a pleasure to meet you, as well..." "Ma'am." "So then Jesse tried to say that I ordered the cheese sandwich and that I ate Martin Luther king's chicken" "Pesto, but I always order the chicken Pesto." "Martin started ordering it after i started ordering it." "And so Jesse Jackson tried to stand up all slow, and I said," ""Pardon my language, but you know what, Jesse?" "I'm sick of you!"" "And he pulled out a knife and said, "Nigga, I'ma cut your nuts off!"" "So I said, "Oh [bleep] it." "It's only a sandwich."" "True story." "I can't believe it." "That actually happened?" "Mm-hmm." "Stuff like that happen to me all the time." "I don't think he was playing, either." "I think he wanted to cut my nuts off." "Do you know how amazing that is?" "Do you know how amazing your life is?" "Well, Robert, hope you not feeling this credit crunch, 'cause you just spent a [bleep] ton to feed this wildebeest." "Wildebeest?" "Ho ho." "Well, this one's on the wildebeest." "What?" "Here we go." "You just won't learn." "I checked her out." "I'm telling you, she's wonderful -- better than wonderful!" "You sure she's not gonna hurt anybody?" "Almost positive." "A'ight, granddad, go ahead." "Fall in love again." "He doing it again, Huey." "I could see it in his eye." "She's coming over tonight." "You two are going to behave." "Got it?" "Why don't you just sign your retirement benefits over to her -- all your bank accounts, too?" "You just met her yesterday." "Psh!" "What's taking so long?" "Shut up." "And you -- you an enabler." "Enabling-ass nigga." "Seriously?" "Yeah." "Well, I understand why Robert was worried at first." "There's a lot of crazy women out there." "Ma'am, we are so happy you showed up." "Bravo, bravo, bravo!" "Yes." "That is a very impressive set of prepared responses." "Ruckus, what are you doing here?" "How did you get in?" "It's okay, Robert, really." "I think it's great that your friends care so much about you." "Robert, may I use your little girls' room?" "So, how did you two kids meet in a park in the middle of a work day?" "Taking a long lunch?" "Well, I run a nonprofit organization, so my hours are flexible." "Wow." "So, what kind of work do you do?" "Well, up until recently, we raised money to find a cure for" "Patterson's disease." "Patterson's disease?" "I never heard of it." "Yes, nor have I." "Well, it's a very serious terminal illness." "Well, it was a serious illness." "We cured it." "Wow." "You cured it?" "Yep." "I've never heard of one of those foundations actually curing anything." "Yes." "That sure is amazing that you cured that disease that ain't nobody ever heard of." "Oh, tell us, tell us -- what other incredible things have you done that only you know about?" "Were you guys just talking about Patterson's disease?" "Yes." "You've heard of it?" "My Nana had Patterson's disease." "Oh, hon, I never knew that." "She cured it." "Oh..." "My God." "You saved my Nana's life!" "How wonderful you are!" "Ohh." "Congratulations, Robert." "She's amazing!" "Now, now, we're just taking it slow." "I tell you all, it's a trap!" "Beneath that baby-soft, lotiony exterior, them wide, inviting hips, and that ample chocolate bosom is a savage, africanized, pot-boiling, bone-in-the-nose, doing-a-monkey-dance, playing-drums female!" "Ruckus, get the hell on!" "Go!" "You might as well be [bleep] an orangutan!" "Didn't I tell you she's perfect?" "She's the perfect woman." "I can't find anything wrong with her." "A'ight, granddad." "Maybe she not a ho." "Maybe she'll just marry you and take everything when you die." "Let's call her a businesswoman." "All right, boys, time for bed." "Say good night to miss Ebony." "Huey, Riley, it was great meeting the both of you." "It was quite a relief to meet you, miss Ebony." "I hope we can hang out again before you steal all my granddad's money." "Unh!" "♪ Doo doo doo doo, Dee ♪" "Ooh!" "♪ I know you're the one for me, baby ♪" "Ohh!" "Eee!" "Oh, daddy." "Sweet thing, you." "Mm-mm-mmm." "Wait." "Can we turn the lights on?" "I like to be able to see." "Lights on?" "Uh, I just put on some weight recently." "I'd rather keep it very, very dark." "Uh..." "Just use your imagination." "You're so funny." "Okay." "Whatever you like." "Wait, wait, wait." "Let me guess, let me guess." "And ed III gets shot in the chest." "Yes." "I just love your life." "You have these crazy adventures with these bizarre characters, and it's so much fun." "Never thought about it like that." "Seemed like a bunch of problems to me." "I love it that you fight people with a belt." "I love it that you're friends with a pimp named a pimp named slickback." "I love that Riley thinks everything is gay." "I know I shouldn't like any of these things, but I do." "Yeah, I guess it is kind of fun." "I want to be a character." "Uh, cameo or reoccurring?" "Regular." "Oh, my." "What am I gonna do?" "She's the perfect woman!" "What's the problem?" "She's too good for me." "Is that what she said?" "No, she said she likes and accepts me for who I am." "So, what's the problem?" "She doesn't know the real me." "No one normal can love the real me." "Have to do something drastic before I screw it up." "I should try to be someone totally different -- you know, like Tyrese or Chris Brown, someone who's not a dorky old man." "Yep." "Makes sense." "And I shouldn't tell her how much I like her." "Women like the chase, don't they?" "Yep." "Soon as she thinks she's got me, she's gonna move on to another old man to satisfy her sick old-man fetish." "Nah, she probably just got a young nigga on the side." "Another man?" "Of course!" "With all these young men with good blood pressures running around." "And he's probably buff, too." "Yep, real buff." "Like Tyrese buff?" "Nah, like 50 Cent buff." "Oh, no!" "He probably spend all his time in the gym getting strong!" "I bet she thinks of him every day, even when she's with me." "Especially when she with you." "Granddad, this is silly." "She obviously likes you." "Just relax and be yourself." "Myself?" "Nah." "That'll never work." "Yeah, uh, I'm looking for something like a homing device, like in the movies, you know?" "See, I have a friend who needs to follow around a young lady friend." "Uh..." "Uh, not stalking her or anything." "You know, that would be real creepy." "So, you just put that little GPS gadget thingy in her car, and now we can follow her anywhere." "Lord, the white man sure is brilliant." "I do love him and his modern technology so." "Finally, that which the darkie has done in darkness shall come to light!" "I can't believe it." "Why, lord?" "Why?" "!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "I didn't know she can do that!" "Let me see!" "Let me see!" "Oh, my God." "Look at that." "I'm so sorry, Robert, but I told you." "That afro-tramp could not be -- aah!" "Aah!" "Sorry, squirrel." "Hmm." "I don't know." "I don't think I'm a fan of the earring." "Well, I like it." "It's my ear." "I can wear an earring -- maybe two!" "You saying I'm too old to wear an earring?" "What's wrong?" "You seem grumpy." "Oh, like "Grumpy Old Men," huh?" "I get it." "Let's all laugh at the old guy." "Is something bothering you?" "Now I'm too sensitive." "Is that it?" "Huh?" "No, I'm not saying that." "I -- what -- are you okay?" "Oh." "Look, do you want me to take off?" "I feel like I'm getting on your nerves." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Stop looking at my woman!" "Hey, what the hell?" "!" "Why are y'all staring at my girl like that?" "!" "I know she's hot!" "I know she's got a big, wonderful, glorious behind!" "But I'm the guy she's with!" "And y'all think because I'm a pudgy old man that y'all can just look at her when you want!" "I may not be young, I may not be buff like Tyrese, I may not have the pectorial muscles of a Michael jai white or the washboard abs of a Tyson Beckford, or even the" "your-pants scariness of a kimbo slice!" "But don't think I won't punch one of you punk-asses in the eye for looking at my girl!" "You!" "Mnh-mnh." "Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh." "You!" "Hey!" "Punk!" "Why you lookin' at my girl?" "!" "Robert, stop!" "I'm so, so, so, so sorry, Ebony." "Please don't break up with me." "You don't have to keep apologizing, Robert." "I'm worried about you." "I don't know what came over me." "I just " " I feel so old." "There's so many younger, sexier men out there, like bald" "Boris Kodjoe or the British sophistication of an Idris Elba." "Robert, I don't want to date those guys." "I've already dated those guys." "What?" "I'm kidding." "Whew!" "Thought you was a ho for a second." "Aw, man, you fought for her?" "Nobody told you to fight for her!" "She'll never respect you now." "I mean, she probably didn't want to say it to your face, but it's a wrap." "Shut up!" "I'm not listening to you anymore." "It's a shame, too." "She wasn't bad." "She said she's gonna give me another chance." "Is that right?" "How long since she called you?" "Hey, it's me again." "I just sent you a text message and e-mail and an instant message and a MySpace message." "And I just put an actual letter in the mail." "You should be getting it in a couple of days." "And I also tried to send you a telegraph at the station, but the man said they don't exist anymore." "And I tried to page you, but the man said that doesn't exist anymore, either." "So, uh..." "Just call me when you can." "I'll just be here waiting." "We're like the perfect couple." "I'm starting to look like you." "Granddad, I found her!" "You did?" "Twitter?" "What the hell is a Twitter?" "they keep coming up with these stupid computer things." "I can't keep up." "There should be one damn computer thing and that's it." "Well, her Twitter says she's in Malaysia." "Malaysia?" "What's she doing there?" "She obviously went there to get away from me!" "Or maybe she went for the inexpensive male prostitutes." "She probably just needs a little space." "Yeah, a little other-side-of-the-planet space." "Granddad, you better hurry before she gets to the moon." "It's settled, then." "I'm going to Malaysia." "Unh!" "Ohh!" "Make sure those crates..." "Ebony!" "Robert!" "What are you doing here?" "Why?" "Why did you leave me all alone?" "I mean, I know I made mistakes, but to leave forever without saying goodbye?" "Robert, it's been 16 hours, and the flight is 12 hours." "Oh, yeah." "Somehow, it seemed longer than that." "I tried to call, but my phone doesn't work over here." "Well, then, why did you leave?" "You didn't hear about the typhoon?" "Robert, I'm really shocked that you came all the way out here, but it's not healthy." "Look at you." "You look exhausted and stressed, and " " I don't know " " I don't want to have this effect on you." "You don't look happy." "I'm happy." "What makes you think I'm not happy?" "It was all just a big misunderstanding." "Hoo!" "Well, since I'm already here, I might as well help out with the relief effort." "Robert, you have to slow this down." "No, let's speed it up." "Let's go faster!" "Robert, you'll be fine." "Next week, you'll have some crazy adventure with another woman." "You won't even remember this little episode." "I don't know." "I'm not too sure I have many episodes left." "Goodbye, Robert." "Please?" "Where she at?" "Miss Brown!" "Miss Brown!" "Oh, I know she in here, Robert." "And I can't hold my feelings inside no longer." "Marry me, miss Ebony Brown!" "Do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Uncle Ruckus." "She's gone, Ruckus." "Gone?" "What you mean, she gone?" "I blew it." "Is she ever coming back?" "I don't know." "She said I didn't love myself enough." "Well, that's understandable." "You a coon." "Hey, I wonder if Ebony can start one of them foundations and cure revitiligo." "Oh, she sure was something." "I mean, she was an ape, but she was the prettiest ape I ever seen." "This is the new Facebook account of Robert j." "Freeman." "I'm old but still get around pretty well." "I have two bad grandkids, and I enjoy pork, orange juice, and watching "Real Housewives of Compton."" "No [bleep] crazy women, please." "And don't forget to ***." "LOL."

"Everybody, remember, we're here to help sick people feel better." "It is nothing to get worked up about." " On the day you're supposed to move in with me?" " I know." " You sure this is what you want?" " We're gonna make this work." "Guess no matter how many stripes you got on the sleeve, you still gotta kiss the ring, huh, Major?" "Yes, I do, Officer." " So, what's goin' on?" " Possible flu outbreak." "Sabine Lommers." "Health and Human Services." "Dr. Cannerts has identified a possible public health threat." "Within 16 hours, Dr. Sanders became symptomatic, suggesting that the virus can replicate at an accelerated rate." "We're placing your zone of the city under complete quarantine." "Once we're 48 hours disease-free, our lives can go back to normal." " I can't let you through there." " My girl is in there." " So is mine." " Get out!" "Clear!" "How much longer are they gonna extend the quarantine?" "There's some things about the cordon I'm not gonna be able to tell you." "And you say exactly what they want you to say." "Last night I'm a hero, but today I'm the enemy." "Where there's a mouthpiece, there's a secret." "Until the virus dies out, we can't break the cordon." "Then how do we get the healthy people out?" "We don't." "_" "_" "_" "What are you doing?" "Hey!" "A real problem for people who have found themselves trapped in..." "Terrified at this point." "We have reports of..." "You got this covered?" "I feel like we're locking the door on a burning building." "Preachin' to the choir, Walden." "How many more of these do you want us to do?" "Seal them all." "Unable to get to their parents." "Should be terrified and must be so shaken." "As you can see..." "All right, that's it." "Three days ago, when the cordon sanitaire was enacted, there was every hope that the virus would be contained quickly." "Unfortunately, a small number of people were exposed within the original 48-hour window, and we made the decision to extend the quarantine." "Shipping containers were placed around the perimeter to secure the border." "The number of infected is under control, and the cordon is working." "If the cordon is working, Dr. Lommers, why add the containers?" "A secure cordon is not only imperative for this quarantine to work, it's also helpful for our police who have the rest of Metro Atlanta to cover." "Dr. Lommers?" "Since the announcement that patient zero is from Syria, the Syrian government has repeatedly denied having engaged in bio-terrorism." "Can you tell..." "That would be a question for Homeland Security." "Our focus is to contain the virus and to get people home safely." "Well, that won't be easy for Muslims in the cordon." "I'm sure you're aware of Leo Greene's post." "As we work to protect everyone in the cordon," "Mr. Greene's fear-mongering is both irresponsible and immoral." "How is posting those inflammatory images any different than yelling "fire!"" "in a crowded movie theater." "The actions depicted in that video were reprehensible." "Well, isn't it a matter of free speech?" "Miss Savage, social media can be a tool or a weapon." "For every one of those videos," "I can show you a hundred of people cooperating." "So you're saying it's safe inside the cordon?" "Major Carnahan." "Yes, if people follow the rules, it is." "Zone 6 is my territory." "I know it inside and out." "By and large, these are decent people, good neighbors who just want to do the right thing." "Everybody just needs to remain calm." "The more people cooperate, the sooner this will all be over." "A reminder that safe..." "Sir, you're facing me." "Next." "Mickey?" "Remove the jacket?" "This way, please." "This way, please." "This way." "Please, just approach." "Can you remove your mask?" " All right, this way, please." " Son." "You take a seat." "I didn't want to leave without saying "good luck."" "Oh, you'll be back later?" "Well, I..." "I need to be with my wife." "She's just a few blocks away." "Listen, the only way to find a treatment or a vaccine is to use the virus." "And since it's too dangerous to transport the virus out of the quarantine zone," "I'm the only doctor who has access to it, and I can't do any more testing without more rats." "Please come back." "I'm counting on you, Bert." "Doctor?" "Take care of that." "Officer Riley, you come with me." "Apologies for the grim visuals." "Running a bit low on space." "Soon, we'll have no room at the inn, as it were." "Help me." "What happens then?" "We're moving the non-infected patients to the nearest urgent care facility within the cordon." "As for the infected, well... we'll do what we can to keep them comfortable." "So, what do you need from me?" "Help with transport?" "I'm afraid it's not that simple." "They're not a threat." "The virus dies a few hours after they do." "How do you know that?" "'Cause the doctors who mishandled the first of the dead are still alive and healthy." "If we don't deal with their bodies, we risk a host of other diseases." "We don't have sufficient facilities or personnel here to deal with them properly, so we need your help." "I'm pretty sure I can't help you here." "I need someone strong, both physically and mentally." "What exactly do you want me to do?" "The only thing we can do." "Burn them." "I must declare the virus as highly contagious and fatal in 100 % of its victims." "I recommend we institute a cordon sanitaire to contain the spread of the virus." "What I need is the truth." "We are in the middle of the hot zone." " Jana!" " If we let anyone out we're risking the lives of everyone in this city." "Hey, stranger." "Jana, Jana, I been working all night." "I would have called you earlier." "I'm so sorry, baby." "Oh, no." "No "baby."" "We are definitely not at "baby" right now." " You're mad." " Why should I be mad?" "My hero cop boyfriend is all over TV telling people they're gonna be ok, so I tell everyone here to believe him, because, you know, he's one of the good ones." "And then I find out from Twitter that we've all been locked in by shipping containers." "It was classified." "I couldn't tell you." "A hint." "A coded text." "An emoji." "You hate emojis." "Little prison bar emoji." "I wouldn't have hated that." "I'm so sorry." "I am sorry." "Yeah." "Me too." " This sucks." " Yeah." "Here's a truth." "I don't know how long this will go." "Since the virus spread, it could be anywhere inside the cordon." "So you need to hunker down." "Stay indoors." "Ration your food." "We don't have a lot of police in there, so" "I need you safe." "Ok?" "You got it..." "Major Carnahan." "15 years ago, in the dark ages, this would have been a lot easier." "If you don't want a video like that getting out again, we need to get more cops inside." "What we need is to shut down Leo Greene." "I've seen this before in every hot zone I've been in." "People want to be good and follow the rules and they do until someone pushes the panic button hard enough and they stop listening to the authorities." "Which is exactly why we need more cops inside." "We can't police the Internet, but 50 more cops making sure that..." "Lex, this isn't a parade." "This is a quarantine." "No one in." "No one out." "Right now, I need you to go talk to Leo Greene." "Our biggest enemy is fear..." "And it's coming from him." "Shut him down." " Not too close!" " Careful, Jen!" "No touching." "It's not fair that they get to go." "You know if your mom was inside the cordon, she'd be here, too." "Hospital lockdown is over, Mary." "We should be happy our friends get to go home." "Whoo!" "Hey, Mary, you wanna play?" "Hey, you still looking for a phone cord?" "No, thanks." "Are you ok?" "I was supposed to bring some sick Syrian kid to the hospital." "That's it." "That was my job." "I have braves tickets this weekend." "I just want to go home." "You know, barbecue, sleep in my bed." "How 'bout you?" "You ok?" "I just want to breathe." "But I can't..." "Not until the last of them gets home safely." "How many get to leave the hospital with their parents?" "Not enough." "This is the latest from inside the cordon." "What does this mean?" "Hazmat guy painted one where the kids got infected at that party." "It caught on." "It's like the plague crosses in Europe or how they marked the houses during Katrina." "Hold on." "One second." "It's the police." "Gotta go." "Those your contacts on the inside?" "Uh, think I'm gonna plead the 5th on that one." "You gonna arrest me?" "What, and make you more famous?" "You gotta stop posting those videos." "There are people at risk on the inside." "Instead of me being able to do my real job," "I'm here trying to convince you to stop making a bad situation worse." "You remember that storm a couple winters back?" "The snowpocalypse?" "Every city and state official knew that storm was coming, yet still people ended up stranded on the freeway for 2 days." "Now, don't you wonder how that same crowd of bureaucratic imbeciles got those containers in place so fast?" "Do you ever consider trusting the system instead of deliberately scaring the crap out of people?" "What's scary is that system deliberately hiding the truth from people." "My guy at homeland tells me there's absolutely nothing to these bioterrorism claims." "And Lommers just said that exposures are under control, yet my friends on the inside tell me death marks on doors are cropping up all over the place." "So which is it?" "What's the real story?" " Why don't you tell me?" " Whatever you're looking for, you're not gonna get it from me." "I'm not trying to frighten people, but maybe if I can get them worked up enough, they'll stop blindly trusting the system and start asking questions." "Unlike you, apparently." "Unlike Major Mouthpiece here in front of me." "What?" "You think I wanna be here?" "I got cops on the inside outmanned 400 to 1." "You think I wanna be here?" "400 to 1, huh?" "Is that an official comment?" "Listen to me." "I'm gonna walk outta here and try to do my civic and moral duty to help..." " Your moral duty?" " To help the people on the inside!" " You actually believe..." " I expect you to do the same!" " Do you believe in the cordon?" " I do." "All right." "I have one question for you, then." "What happens when someone tries to leave the cordon?" "Major?" "You shoot 'em?" "That's the difference between me and you, Mr. Greene." "You'll never have to answer that question." "Dr. Lommers." "Been thinking about a plan to get cops inside." "Or families are being left..." "I'm guessing Leo" "_ said no." "These are not images you will see on television or in the mainstream media." "It's not happening in some foreign country." "It's happening here." "Mr. President." "The department of Health and Human Services would have you believe everything is ok inside the cordon." "It is not." "With no regard for their humanity, your loved ones are being sentenced to death." "Remember that guy Rigsby?" "Yeah, pine street pickpocket." "Yeah." "Dead pickpocket now." "Where are you?" "Cannerts has me helping with the bodies." "There's a lot of dead people in here, Lex." " How many?" " 12 so far, at least." "That reporter, Leo Greene, has been posting some pretty incendiary videos from inside the cordon." "People are bound to have a reaction." "Does that mean you're finally sending more cops in?" "For now, we have to make do with what we got." "I'll set up a meet point for all the cops inside the cordon." "All right." "How many are here?" "Including you?" "11." " For the whole cordon?" " I want you to run point on this." "What?" "No." "No, I'm a beat guy." "And you know I like to keep it simple." "There's gotta be some stripes..." "I don't need stripes." "What I need is someone I can trust." "I need cops at ATMs, grocery stores, anywhere people gather." "This is already been a day of me getting the crap detail, Lex." "There has to be someone else." "Officer Riley." "You giving me an order, Major?" "Yes, I am." "Don't let me down." "Seriously, Jana?" "This is half of what we had yesterday." "Well, Lex said it might take a while." "Lex who lied about the containers?" "Jana, he didn't lie." "He just... whatever." "He was telling the truth today." "What did he say..." "Exactly?" "That he doesn't know how long this will last and we need to hunker down." " We need to make a food run." " How is that hunkering down?" "Have you ever hunkered down without food?" "The virus could be anywhere." "Lex said it's not safe out there." "Let's take a vote." "All in favor..." "Sorry, Jana, but I need a vegetable." "We'll draw straws." "Loser makes the run." "Winner pays." "People I've never seen before are coming into the store." "Do you really think you should be up on that table?" "I might be dying of the plague, and you're worried about me falling?" "I'm worried about you, period." "You're not dying." "You don't have a single symptom." "I've only been in quarantine for 20 hours, although it feels a lot longer, stuck in here." "People die within 48." "If you was sick, you'd be hallucinating or something by now." "Do you think that's what they're going through?" "Amy and everyone?" "Haven't heard from a single one of them." "All my friends outside the cordon have been texting like crazy." "Nothing from any of the ones who were at that party." "Listen, Teresa." "You can't help your friends, but you can help yourself." "You just gotta do whatever you can to keep you and the baby safe." "10 bucks?" "Last week, this was 5." "Supply and demand." "You gotta be kidding me." "Do you want it or not?" "My mom is going to hell." "Watch out, Mom!" "Quentin, knock it off!" " Ha ha!" " You're in trouble." "They're going stir crazy." "Aw, Britney should be released from isolation any minute now." "I'm sorry." "You're stuck with us." "Not as sorry as her mom." "She's used to doing stuff like this without a guy in her life, and now here I am 4 months in playing dad." "Well, take it from another single mom." "You're doing just fine." "Hey, that's it!" "All of you, 3 corners." " Right." " You guys!" "They need fresh air." " 4 to 6 feet!" " Well, we can't go out." "We can go..." " And you're up!" " Mary, you're on it." "Aw, that completely hit the line." "Throw me the ball." "Miss Katie?" "I have to go." "Throw it." "Would you keep an eye on them?" "Yeah." "Perfectly healthy." "Hay fever, just like I told her." "I can't wait, Miss Katie!" "Thomas!" "Got lost." "I can't get home." "Thomas." "Thomas, let's trade places, ok?" "I have to find my way home." "Help me find my way home." "I miss your cooking, Michie." "Wouldn't mind a little nap right about now." "That's fine." "After that, you need to head back to the hospital and do your job." "My job is taking care of you." "Well, I'm fine." "But they say on the news that there are more sick people now." "The doctor needs those rats." " I don't care." " But you do care, Bert." "That's one of the reasons I love you." "We can't know for sure he was exposed." "He had the man's blood on his hand." "Not on his mouth..." "Eyes." "There was no exposure to the fluids." "Dr. Cannerts..." "False optimism is not your strong suit." "This wasn't your fault." "It was, actually, but thank you." "His dad called me earlier." "He got stuck at work." "The electrical plant inside the cordon was stressed to the max." "And he's the foreman." "He... he asked me to look after his boy while he finished up." "Our co-workers, our friends..." "Lex said it was bad out there, but I didn't know he meant this bad." "These are not images you will see on television." "Sorry I voted against you." "Let's be honest, Sooz." "You weren't voting against me." "You were voting with Dennis." "Department of Health and Human Services..." "The men have returned from war." "Let the show of gratitude begin." " Wait." "Don't." " What?" "Your gloves." "You're not wearing gloves." " Well, I..." "I just took them off." " When?" "Uh..." "I don't know." "On the way back?" "Tony, did you see where Dennis took them off?" "I didn't notice." "I think he had 'em on at the store." "I think you should stay in quarantine." " To be safe." " Quit screwin' around, Jana." "You may have been exposed." "You've been outside." "Because we went to get you food!" "Now..." "Suzy, I..." "I sanitized my hands, ok?" "Jana, they only went to the store." "Ok, look, we've all seen the news." "It's just 48 hours." "Jana, if you want any of this food, you let us in right now." "I'm sorry." "I don't like it either." "Fine." "Let's take a vote." "Suzy, your vote makes 3!" "Suzy!" "Buzz us in now!" "Happy?" "Suzy!" "Suzy!" "Suzy..." "People are scared, they pay attention." "I'd love to drop the next video while they're still talking about the last one." "We're gonna check out the edge of the cordon next." "You guys are bad-ass." "It's like the old days, Mel." "Except you're not hitting on me." "When this thing is over, you guys can write your own ticket." "That'll be us, livin' the dream." "All right, get back out there." "Gotta feed the beast." "I had to do something to take my mind off things so, happy Valentine's day..." "Super late." "I used flour and water for glue." "Is it food?" "Is it art?" "I could do like a whole show from this place." "I'll bet you could." "Happy super-late Valentine's day to you, too, T." "You know, I wish you wouldn't do that." "Ok, that's not good." "That's her, Harley." "Ohh!" "Aah!" "Store's closed, everybody!" "Go home!" "Wait, wait." "You can't just..." "What the hell was that?" "I gotta call you back." "Take all you want, Jozelle." "If you're calling from inside the cordon, press 1." "We're sorry." "All circuits are busy." "Please hang up and try again later." "Come on, girl." "Hurry up." "_" "Take it all." "What the hell happened?" "We're being robbed, and there's no 911." "Just stay where you are, Teresa." "I gotta help my mom." "T, I swear to god, I will parachute into the cordon" " if you don't stay in that room." " I can't just do nothing." "Teresa!" "Hello, Harley." "Baker, we don't need that." "These boys are just leaving." "Looks like 3 to 2 to me." "Your face is on video surveillance." "Right now, I got you for expired plates." "If you drop the stuff and go, we can leave it at that." "Be a shame for you to go to prison for 20 years just for some groceries." "Come on." "Get the door." "Baker." "Let's go, honey." "Watch that door and check this room." "Are you kidding me?" "This video surveillance isn't even hooked up." "Hey, does it matter?" "He bought it." "Are you crazy?" "What if they noticed that cord was unplugged?" "You can afford to play games, Jake." "You're wearing a vest." "You think this is a game, Baker?" "You think I like being outgunned and outnumbered in here?" "This vest doesn't get me anywhere if enough people are shooting, ok?" "The whole point is to keep them from firing." "I'm a cop, Jake." "I didn't sign up for a suicide mission." "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "Congress would never let this slide." "The ACLU is gonna jump all over me." " Dr. Lommers." " Excuse me." "I know how we can get more cops in there." "We use the container as a sluice, a passageway in and out." "Each cop that exits will be quarantined for 48 hours inside the sluice until we know that they're healthy." "So you're pitching a one-at-a-time plan?" "It's precise extraction." "I know it sounds complicated..." "What about the officers that you're sending in there?" "Do any of them have loved ones inside that would make putting their lives on the line worth it, or is that just you?" "We're police." "We put our lives on the line every day." "True, although I wonder if you took a poll asking who volunteers to willingly enter the hot zone just how many eager cops you'd find." "Following orders is our job." "Good." "Then I'd like you to drop this entire mission." "I got 11 cops in there managing 4,000 terrified people who think that they've been sentenced to death." "They have been sentenced to death, Major, if they don't follow the rules." "The rules will keep them safe." "And if we add more bodies into that mix, even police bodies, we are statistically compromising the people inside's ability to remain healthy." "I have federal jurisdiction." "So I guess that's an order." "Yes, ma'am." "Where were we?" "Thomas?" "Dr. Cannerts?" "Dr. Cannerts!" "Mr. Graham." "I've come to take my son home." "But he's been exposed." "You can't." "I said I've come to take him home." "Mr. Graham, if Thomas is sick..." "Dr. Cannerts, call 911," " Jake, anyone." " I already tried, Katie." "Mr. Graham, please." "Let him stay here so we can keep an eye on him." " You may be risking..." " You were supposed to take care of him!" "You!" "Katie?" "Sir, you know it's not right to wave a gun in a lady's face." "I don't want trouble." "I just want to take my son home." "Well, Thomas, looks like you'll be going home today." "And soon, with these rats, the doctor and I will find a way to fix everybody right up." "Ok?" "Ok, Mr. Bert." "Bye, Miss Katie." "I don't see it." "Biggest news yet." "It's a fire escape." "So what?" "The windows are sealed from outside." "You're still missing it." "It's a ladder mount on the roof." "One smart person makes it to that rooftop, it's an easy leap from that fire escape to the top of the container." "There's a way to get out of the cordon." "Till they figure it out and tear down that fire escape." "I don't know." "Don't go getting squeamish, Leo." "What did we say in college?" "When we were smoking hash?" "Always give people the real story." "Leo, the fact that Lommers is trying to shut you down means you're doing something right." "They lied about it being bioterrorism, they lied about the number of bodies, they sure as hell are lying when they say everything's ok in here!" "You don't have to expose the location." "The minute you post that it exists, cops will find it, they'll seal it up, but at least the people are gonna know the whole story." "Come on, Leo." "Isn't that what we're doing here?" "I could make out with you both right now." "You gotta get out of there." "Make a run for it while you still can." "Are you kidding?" "This is the hottest story in the w..." "It's the hottest story in the world." "What, they run out of razors already?" "This is regulation in the cordon now." "What?" "You're the one who put me in charge." "What's in these?" "Guns, ammo, gloves, gear." "Yes, yes." "That's what I'm talkin' about." "All right, so where's my reinforcements?" "You're kidding me, right?" "Do you know who you gave me in here?" "A sergeant who took a walk when he saw I didn't have any stripes, a narco I'm pretty sure was hopped up, a bunch of rookies, and a traffic cop." "I already lost 2 when they saw the odds, and the rest aren't exactly the a-team in here." "I know I'm asking the impossible." "No, no." "You got the wrong guy." "You'd have found a way to keep those guys from walking." "This is dead hero territory, man." "It's not my thing." "And neither was going to class or staying out of trouble." "I wasn't easier on you then either!" "It kind of worked out for the both of us, wouldn't you say?" "What?" "Leo Greene just told the whole damn world there's a way to escape the cordon." "Dr. Lommers." "We're headin' out there now." "An officer inside the cordon located the breach." "Good." "I just got word from the governor." "As you secure the area, you are empowered to defend the cordon with deadly force." "Good luck, Lex." " All right, sit up." " Eyes open." "Ok, listen." "Our job is simple." "The fire department outside is gonna take down the fire escape near the containers." "We just have to make sure no one gets up there before they're done." " You see 'em?" " Let's go." " Get some on our way." " Now, keep your visors down." "Yeah." "Right around there." " Fan out!" " All right, spread out." "Fan as you get up to..." "How the hell did we miss this?" " Set 'em up on the top." " Ok." "Hey, what's goin' on?" " Baker, hold 'em back." " Come on." "Or you can go, Ray." "If anybody tries to breach the cordon, your orders are to stop them by any means necessary." "Get back!" "Get back!" "What the hell's happening over there?" " Yeah." " How much longer?" " Almost there." " We're close." "What's happening in there?" "Crowd thickens." "Think you can hold them?" "Yeah, as long as they just want a target practice." " You can't make me go..." " Break it up!" "Run!" "Run!" "Full support!" "Ugh!" "Ah, don't touch him!" "Don't touch him!" "Don't touch him!" "Pig!" "Go!" "Go, go, go!" "Follow them!" "Hey, Lex." "Lex." "Hey, Baker, with me." "Damn it." "Sir, you are breaking the law." "Turn back now." "I need you to step away." "Sir, this is your final warning!" "Step away from the edge, or we will shoot." "Is he sick?" "I..." "I can't tell." "Doesn't matter." "No one in, no one out." "Those are the rules." "Sir, this is your final warning!" "Step away from the edge or we will shoot!" "Ohh!" "My wife and kids are out there." "If he was sick..." "Baker..." "I'm done." "Katie, hey." "Cannerts told me what happened." "I'm sorry." "What are you even doing down here?" "Turns out I'm workin' 2 jobs these days." "These are people who..." "Figure someone should remember them with some respect." "Listen, I know it's rough." "Ok?" "But these people in here, they died alone." "At least Thomas gets to be with his family." "And what if it were Quentin?" "He'd want to be with you." "I just..." "I don't know how this world works in here." "I mean, a man with a gun walked in here and stole his kid, and nobody could do anything to stop him." "If it's like that in here, what is it like outside the walls of this hospital?" "I mean, who's in charge?" "Looks like I am." "God help us." "I don't know." "Given the choice, I put my money on you." "God's the one who got us into this mess." "You know, there's one possibility you haven't considered about Thomas." "Maybe he's not sick." "Maybe he's home right now having dinner and watching YouTube, like every other 11-year-old in America." "It's possible." "Yeah." "It's possible." "Have you seen the one where the bulldog plays basketball?" "No?" "And here's the other thing, baby girl." "Just because you're my little perfect angel doesn't mean you can't tear 'em up on the baseball field" " or the basketball court." " What if she wants to play hockey?" "Too cold." "That's too cold." "Rough day, huh?" "Leo Greene is pond scum, king of the click-bait." "I mean, the amount of lives that he risked..." "Yeah, it worked." "He's gained almost a million followers since Wednesday." "Well, I hate every one today, except you." "You, I..." "I don't hate." "You're the only one at the moment." "You know, Jana, when this is over," "I, uh..." "I don't want to spend another night away from you." "Me either." "Not for a really long time." "Me either." "For the rest of my life." "Me either, Lex." "Well, let's see if they have an emoji for that." "Ha ha ha!" "I just lost my Internet connection." "Yes." "So did everyone in the cordon." "But don't worry." "You'll have a secure Internet and phone line tomorrow, but only you." "The rest of the area will remain dark." "After today's events, things were getting away from us." "Anyway, lose control, we have no hope of getting it back." "This was for the good of everyone." "Everyone?" "You're looking at me like this is somehow my fault?" "I asked you to stop Leo Greene, and you didn't." "So, if you're looking for someone to blame," "Major Carnahan, blame yourself."

"[ feedback ]" "NATHAN:" "Oh, look at that!" "Look at that!" "pickles:" "Oh, yeah!" "Cherry bomb." " Aah!" " Ha Ha ." "The beer's coming out of my nose." "Don't give Murderface any firecrackers." "We just have to hold them." "Hey, can I have a firecracker?" "You know what?" "I think there's some over there." "Where?" "I don't see any." "There's no firecrackers." "Aaah!" "That [bleep]ing hurts." "They're down there somewhere." "Just keep looking." "All right." "Aaah!" "You [bleep]ing did it again!" "Murderface." "What?" "You've got to find these firecrackers." "They're down there somewhere." "Yeah, they're in the grass -- look." "I can't see 'em." "Smash your face into the grass and look hard." "There you go." "Now you got it." "Oh, you mother[bleep]er, ow, that hurt!" "[ phone rings ]" "Hellos?" "[ speaking Norwegian ] Okay." "[ speaks Norwegian ]" "Well, my dad's gots cancer!" "He's almost dead." "# Do anything for Dethklok #" "# Do anything for Dethklok #" "# Do anything for Dethklok #" "DVD-rip and Subtitles by:" "Café G-Dub" "So your dad's gots the bigs "K" -- cancers." "Just gonna stares at me for a while, or, uh..." "Looks, I don't know whats to say." "You're staring at me." "I'm just looking at you, and you just stands there likes a fish." "Hey, Toki, let's hears you say somethings positives." "Yeah, it's nots so bad after alls." "There you go!" "Who needs a fathers anyways?" "That's right." "I don't really gots a dads, do I?" "Yeah, you never knows your fathers." "That's right, Toki." "I never -- never really, uh..." "Oh." "I don'ts -- l don'ts have a father." "Oh, come on, Skwisgaar." "You can cheers up." "I don't wants to!" "I wants to be in a bads moods." "Gets out of here!" "Yeah, he was just, like, staring at his shoes and all mumblings." "I tries to cheers him up." "[bleep] him." "Oh, that poor little [bleep]er." "This is delicious." "What is this, crab dip?" "You know, Toki's kind of in a fragile state of mind right now." "He could really use your support." "Ah, don't let him fool you." "He's tough as nails." "Come on, you don't think Toki is gonna freak out or anything, you know, like do something -- should we hide the guns?" "Well, I wouldn't go that far." "I think he's just a little sad." "He's gonna kill himself?" "No, I mean he might kill us." "He's the one to do that." "He's a strange -- l don't trust him." "He's [bleep]ed in the head." "He's [bleep]ed in the head." "I don't trust him, and " " Hello." " Aah!" "Don't [bleep]ing do that to me." "Gots to go to Norway now, sees my dad die." "Sees ya." "Sees ya laters, Toki." "Haves a great times." "Oh, yeah, and say hi to your dad from us -- l mean, if he doesn't die before you get there." "Well, you know, say hi to his corpse, I guess." "You know, I don't know." "Yeah, no matter what happens, say hi." "You alls invited to comes to Norways with me and, you know, just be pals." "Oh, that would be great, but, you know, we got to do the record." "Aw, the album." "Got to work." "Got to get to work." "It's gonna be twice as hard without you, so... I understands." "[ sighs ]" "Well, since you can't go to Norway because you got to work on the album, let's just work on that album." "Come on, guys." "In the recording room, chop-chop." "Recording room." "Come on, come on." "Every one of you, come on." "Chop-chop, let's go." "Recording room, let's go." "Recording room, let's go." "Let's go." "Come on, let's get it moving." "You know somethings?" "You gots a hearts of ice." "You have a heart of ice." "How are we supposed to records when our brother suffers so badly?" "He doesn't get it." "Once again, if you're here, you're working on the record." "Hey, I'm gonna go support Toki." "I can't work on the album." "I'm not cruel." "No." "Damn it, we should all go." "Ow!" "Mother [bleep]ing firecracker!" "Murderface, watch your language!" "We're talking about Toki here!" "Fine." "Fine." "You know, just don't go crazy, okay?" "Don't -- whatever." "Save your receipts." "STAMPlNGSTON:" "Gentlemen, Toki Wartooth's father is on his deathbed." "Our psychological death expert, Dr. Ralphus Galkinsmelter." "Toki Wartooth has become a messenger of death." "Everything he touches with his love will die, for he brings death with him like a blackened cloud hovering in the cold night sky." "Like the Grim Reaper himself, his guitar is his scythe." "He cascades through the open window of your child's cradle to suck the very life from your baby's breath." "What a load of horse[bleep]." "How dare you, General." "You're like a withering toad, eating flies on your lily pad." "Dr. Galkinsmelter, please behave yourself!" "What does this all mean?" "Toki has suppressed his feelings for his father." "His death may ignite long-dormant emotions." "He will spin out of control into a vortex of madness." "He will bring death to us all." "He will bring death to us all." "Thank you." "NATHAN:" "You know, I actually am looking forward to going to Norway." "It is the birthplace of black metal." "It's gonna be fun." "I mean, besides your dad's dying slowly from cancer." "How you doing with that, by the way?" "My dad's dead." "He killed my mom, and then he killed himself." "Didn't affect me at all." "It's part of life." "How's it gonna affect you?" "You were just a baby, little baby." "I was never a baby." "I had to become a man right there." "You're still a baby right now." "A baby with a man's heart." "I'm a warrior." "My dad is just like a "stare and say nothing" weirdo, and if he died, well, you know, what do you do?" "I actually get along with my dad." "You know, we drink a lot of beer, and we go hunting." "If he died, whoa, that would be [bleep]ed up." "But, hey, it's your dad that's gonna die." "My dad's safe." "All right, everyone shut up, all right." "This is about Toki right now, okay?" "Murderface, hold on to this for a second." "Now, what I'm saying is " "Aah!" "I'm sorry." "I could not resist." "That was good." "We talked about doing that for a while." "That's my bass-playing hand!" "Uh oh, there goes the band." "Toki, I don't know where to go." "Where's your dad's house?" "Well, it's outside the town." "It's complicated." "I want to get this crap over with." "Come on." "Yeah, let's get it over so we can have fun and goof off." "Let's just go into town and go shoppings first." "All right, we're going shopping." "Hey, where are all the black-metal guys around here?" "I don't see any." "Oh, there's ones." "He looks like Boo Berry from the cereal." "Aw, yeah, he's a Norwegian Boo Berry." "Hey, shouldn't we go to your family's house and, you know, well, check in?" "We don't needs to do that now." "We got still so much mores to see." "Behold, there's the first blacks-metal record shops, whats starts it all." "NATHAN:" "is that a smoked-fish place?" "TOKl:" "No, next to it, rights there." "pickles:" "Oh, the ski shop?" "TOKl:" "No, there." "This is my old friend Ronk Snogge." "Well, if it isn't the commercially successful Toki Wartooth." "This guy seems like an asshole." "I am a pagan trapped in the conservative hell that is Norway." "Yeah, what the [bleep] are you listening to?" "This is a demo tape from my band, Hestkuk, which means a horse's dick." "Do you like it?" "I don't know." "It's okay." "Then I hate it." "Hey, where's the Dethklok albums?" "I don't sell them." "Too digital." "Well, it's nice to see you, but we got to " "No, let's listens to more demo tapes, right?" "[ metal music playing ]" "So, what are we doing in here, Toki?" "Oh, 'cause you gots to try these krumkakes with lingonberries." "They're real brutal." "This is a real brutal place." "Hey, did you know that Norway has the lowest murder rate in the whole world?" "The lowest in the world!" "Wait a minute." "You mean the murder rate in Canada is higher than Norway?" "Yeah." "Oh, my god, that's lame." "This place is lame." "Admit it, Toki." "Norway's not brutal." "Danbury, Connecticut, is more brutal." "Yeah, dude, Tomahawk, Wisconsin, it's way more brutal." "At least we got crystal meth." "Come on, let's get out of here." "Let's go to your dad's house and see a guy die!" "Toki, we've been standing out here for three hours." "It's really, really cold." "Just go inside." "I won'ts go in theres." "I won'ts go in theres!" "I won'ts go!" "I won'ts go!" "Great." "Way to go, Murderface!" "Ow!" "# l hates everythings, includings my dads #" "# And also myself #" "# Why is everything so hards for Toki?" "#" "# Ams I a boy?" "#" "# Ams I a man?" "# # lf l hates you so much, why does it make me so sad?" "#" "# And if I lets you too close, will you dies in my hands?" "#" "# lt's times for me to grows up #" "# Bes a man #" "# Gonna dos what I cans, gonna says goodbyes to my dad #" "Toki!" "Toki, come home." "Seem like you've really grown up out there in the snow." "Now let's go insides to sees my father die!" "I think I'm just gonna wait here." "Why aren't you going in?" "Ixnay on the cancer-ay contagious-ay." "Are you trying to speak pig Latin?" "I don't want to catch cancer!" "You know what?" "Cancer may be contagious." "You know, I'm just putting that out there." "So I'll wait here right before I freeze to death, then I'll go inside, okay?" " All right, that's good." " That's a good plan." "Toki, you take care of it." "I mean, it's your deal anyway." "[ whispers ]" "My father's last request is to see the house whats he was born in." "We don't have much time." "Let's go!" "Hurry!" "He's coughing ups blood!" "We'll have to continues on foots." "We're good right here." "Father, I forgives everythings you ever dones to me." "Now rest in pe" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, nos!" "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "Oh!" "Aah!" "Oh, father." "This is horrible." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oh, he sinks into the darkness!" "Aah!" "Father!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Father!" "Incoming!"

"Godric, it's me." "You should not have come." "I'm here, my child." "Down here." "You were a fool for sending humans after me." "I had no other choice." "These savages, they seek to destroy you." "I'm aware of what they have planned." "This one betrayed you." "He's with the Fellowship." "They set a trap for us." " How long since you've fed?" " I require very little blood anymore." "Save the human." " Go on." " I'm not leaving your side until you..." " I can take care of myself." " Come on, we have to go." "Spill no blood on your way out." "Go." "Sync: mpm Arrow" "I'm alive." "Holy shit." "God saved me." "I'm saved." "For heaven's sake, grow a brain cell!" "Paintballs!" "What's...?" "You crazy bitch." "I let you into my house, into my bed and into my heart." "All I stood for, all I believed in," "I violated to be with you!" "I gave you everything for a lie." " You're worse than Judas." " Why?" "What did he do to you?" "Fuck you!" "Sweet Jesus!" "I'm sorry, okay?" "Just tell me what you want me to say." "Don't shoot me again." "You came to prey on me, to ruin the sacred vow" "I made to my husband, then like a coward, you ran!" "No, I didn't..." "Okay, I ran, but it wasn't from you." "It was from your husband and his crazy weapon collection." "Why'd you have to go and tell him?" "Tell him?" "I didn't tell him anything." "He's the one who told me." "Wait, wait, wait." "Told you what?" "There are wolves in our henhouse." "We must defend our flock." " What's that got to do with...?" " We have your sister." "Sookie's in the church?" "She came in yesterday spouting the same lies you told." "You listen to me." "She's got nothing to do with this." "You Stackhouses." "You're nothing but a bunch of heartless, two-faced... vampire fuckers." "Don't you ever talk about my sister like that." "And if I find out any of you so much as touched her," "I'm gonna come back here... and it won't be with no fucking paint gun!" "Brothers and sisters, we are on lockdown." "Women with children, please take them to our classroom buildings." "Men and able-bodied women, security personnel will provide you with stakes and silver just outside the chapel." "Our Soldiers of the Sun are on their way to protect our church, but safely evacuate the building now." "Brothers and sisters, the hour is upon us." " I could have you out in seconds." " There's kids out there." "Now, those humans wouldn't think twice about hurting us." "Why didn't you bring Bill with you?" "His attachment to you is irrational." "It clouds his judgment." "He would kill every child in this church to save you." "Why aren't you?" "I'm following Godric's orders and getting you out, that's all." "He's your maker, isn't he?" "Don't use words you don't understand." "You have a lot of love for him." "Don't use words I don't understand." "Let's lock it up!" "Keep quiet!" "All right, lock it up." "Nobody comes through here." "Trust me." "Is it locked?" " Did you check upstairs?" " Hey, y'all." "How's it going?" "Steve sent me over to man the exit here." "Think I can take it from here." " By yourself?" " Yeah." "You're big and all, but there's a vampire on the loose." "Where's your stake?" "Dang." "I forgot." "Maybe I can borrow yours if..." "If that's okay." "I can't do that." "Get your own." "I'd very much like to borrow your stake." "Yeah, that'd be okay, I guess." "Stake!" "You don't have to kill him." "Come on." "Those arrows are wood." "You'll never make it through." "Eric, through the sanctuary." " Where's the exit?" " Back that way." "There are several exits, actually." "For you, the easiest one takes you straight to hell." "Let us leave." "Save yourselves." "No one has to die." "The war has begun, you evil whore of Satan." "You vampires cast the first stone by killing my family." "The lines have been drawn." "You're either with us or against us." "We are prepared for Armageddon." "The vampire you're holding prisoner got away." "He's a sheriff." " He's bound to send for help." " I'm not concerned with Godric." "Any vampire will do for our grand celebration, and we got one right here." "I'll be fine." "Brothers and sisters, there will be a holy bonfire at dawn." "Look, dear." "Room service sent a gift for us." "No." "I don't do any..." "Heart's pounding." "So much tastier." "How considerate of you." "That bothersome human." "Just like an alarm clock you can't switch off." "And 10 minutes later..." "I'll give you first bite." "I am not hungry." "Oh, come now." "As I recall, your appetite was always... insatiable." "This human act you do for your girlfriend is charming and all, but we both know better." "Don't we?" "Please." "I..." "I don't want to die." "Let him go!" "I will." "Soon." "This one's different." "I've never tasted..." "What are you?" "You okay?" "You okay?" " I'm not hurting you?" " No, not anymore." "Oh, goodness." "Shut up." "Keep going." "I don't know what you heard, but those were screams of pleasure." "Right?" "Oh, my God." "If you truly care for her, you will take her to your car this very moment and drive her back to Bon Temps before the sun comes up." "Now?" "Now." "Lovers." "Oh shit, hooker." "What?" " Isn't the lovers good?" " Not for you it ain't." "In this position, it calls for a sacrifice in matters of the heart." "You gonna have to make a choice." "But it might turn out well, right?" "You want to see your future?" "Help me." "I need to talk to you." "Yeah, sure." "I'm gonna go and clean a grill or something." "Say something." "You're freaking me out." " What time is it?" "What time is it?" " What?" "It's 10 past 12." "We just closed, why?" "It happened again." "I've lost the last couple hours." "Are you sure?" "You don't remember anything?" "I mean, after I left you, I got in my car and, baby, next thing I know I'm over... past Parish Road and I'm over by the lake." "And I wake up on the ground." "It's freezing cold." "And I don't even know how I got there." "Tara, what the hell is wrong with me?" "It's okay." "It's okay." "I'm here." "You okay to close up?" "Yeah." "Yeah, y'all go on ahead." "Come on, let's get you home." " Who are you?" " It's okay." "I'm with the Fellowship." "You gotta let me in." "Sorry, bro." "We're in lockdown." "There's a vamper inside." "That's why they sent for me." "I'm a cadet with the Light of Day Institute." "Came strapped." "Honesty." "Dude, honesty." " Come on." " Let's move." "Now, we got the vamper surrounded." "He's got some f-ing fangbanger chick with him." "Now, I'm gonna take you to Steve." " No." "I got it." " No, he needs you to..." "Is that a paintball gun?" "Yeah, it is." "Who is this?" "Jesus Christ." "Renard Parish sheriff's department." "What's your emergency?" " Sheriff's department." "Anyone in there?" " Is anyone there?" "This is the sheriff's department." "May I help you?" "You see?" "Just as our Lord our Savior was betrayed for 30 pieces of silver, a few ounces of silver can betray a child of Satan to the world!" "That doesn't make any sense." "How can you people listen to him?" "I offer myself in exchange for Godric's freedom." "And the girl's as well." "That's noble." "But she's just as culpable as you are." "She's a traitor to her race." "The human race." "She hardly deserves mercy." "Maybe we should tie her to you so you can meet the sun together." "Bet the marshmallow would roast up nicely." "One more step, vampire, and the girl dies." "If you shoot her, everyone here will die." "Let her go now." "Honestly, what do they see in you?" "Soldiers, some silver chains for our friend here." " Don't." "He's done nothing to you." " Sookie, I will be fine." "Let her go, fuckwad!" "Son of a bitch!" "Let's go." " Do not kill him!" " Kill him!" "Kill the motherfucker!" "Go ahead." "Murder us." "Murder us before God." "We are willing to die." "You have pushed us too far." "You expect us to sit on our thumbs while you round up your men to come lynch us?" "We'll kill you first." "Same way we did your father." "God, no." "Murderer!" "Destroy them." "All of them." " Stop them!" " We have to go now!" "Enough!" "You came for me, I assume." "Underling." "Yeah, sheriff." "These people have not harmed me." "You see?" "We can coexist." "Mr. Newlin," "I do not wish to create bloodshed where none in called for." "Help me set an example." "If we leave you in peace, will you do the same?" "I will not negotiate with subhumans." "Kill me." "Do it." "Jesus will protect me." "I'm actually older than your Jesus." "I wish I could have known him, but I missed it." "Good people, who of you is willing to die for this man's madness?" "That's what I thought." "Stand down, everyone." "People, go home." "It's over now." "Oh, thank God." "Bill..." "It's all right." "You're safe now." "You're safe." "Please, don't leave me." "I daresay my faith in humankind is stronger than yours." "Come." "Sir, after what these humans have done to you?" "I said come." "Are you sure you're okay?" "She's fine." "Go with your maker." "Sookie, come here." "I'm so sorry." "Will you please forgive me?" "What were you doing with those people?" "Are you out of your mind?" "Yeah, I was." "Just..." "That son of a bitch sucked out my brain and planted all his own babies in there." "You know nothing." "On the final day of reckoning, we'll see who goes to heaven and who goes to hell." "I reckon I've already been to heaven." "It was inside your wife." "Jason, come on." "What about that?" " Come on." " Take your ring." "Honesty, my ass, shithead." "White-suit motherfucker." "Go home, preacher boy." "Come on, Sam." "We can't tell you that." "That's why it's called an anonymous tip." "We can't tell you who phoned it in." "They wanted you to find me." "Why would I keep a body in my own refrigerator" "{\Jeez, }Was it a woman's voice?" "There's a rumor you were having a relationship with the deceased." "Is that true?" "You don't seem too beat up about it." "Well, we..." " I guess we kind of broke up." " Were you angry?" " Bound to be some hurt feelings." " Listen, y'all have to trust me." "This is bigger and crazier than you can even imagine." "I'll say." "This is the second time{\in two weeks} a woman's been found in your bar with her heart missing." "And the third time a waitress of yours has ended up dead." "{\Come on.}That was Rene Lenier." "You can't use that against me." "Come on, Bud, Kenya." "Listen to yourselves." " You know me." " I'm not sure we do." "You got no birth records, no Social Security number." "We can't even find where you want to high school." "It's hard to explain." "Save it, son." "Nothing about your past ever checks out." "Why don't you just tell us what happened tonight?" "What the...?" "Hold up." "Bud, you don think it's Sam, do you?" " Let me get him." " Hold on, Kenya." "You're on suspension." " How'd you hear about this?" " Still got my radio." "I'm not here as a cop, okay?" "I'm a witness." "You got the wrong guy." " What?" " He's not the one you want." "He's a victim." "I saw him nearly get killed last night." " By who?" " The bull." "The what?" "He thinks he saw some kind of bull." "With claws." "A bull." "In a dress." "With claws." "Okay." "You're babbling again." " I can shut him up." " And your vic, that vic you got in there, she was part of the whole group of crazy people that was trying to get him." "I tried to fight them off, but war wound." "I'm corroborating here, Sam." "Tell them." "Help me." "If I told you that's what happened, would you believe me?" "Oh, shit." "But you're not the only one." "I blacked out last night." "Arlene blacked out." "Maybe there's some kind of gas leak or something." "But, what about Andy Bellefleur?" "He said..." "He said he saw all of us." "Andy's the only one we know is out his mind." "I got this sick feeling I did something real bad." "Knock, knock." "Hope I'm not interrupting." "No, just trying to piece together everything we been doing {\past couple}those days." "Sounds like somebody's been enjoying himself a bit too much." "Tell you what." "Why don't we ease up on the partying for a little while?" "Take it easy." "Snack's ready." "Hope you're hungry." "Oh, my God." "That looks amazing." "What is it?" "Hunter's soufflé." "I didn't know hunters made soufflés." "Most don't." "Dig in." "Goddamn." "What is in there?" "Is that the rabbit you caught?" "Among other things." "You have got to try this." "Oh, my God." "Thank you, sir." "Welcome home, sheriff." "We are all very relieved." "I just want to say I'm real sorry for what the Fellowship put you through." "You helped save many lives today, Mr. Stackhouse." "Please know you have friends in this area whenever you visit." "Thanks, man, but, I don't know if I'll be wanting to come back anytime soon." "God." "Hail the conquering hero." "No." "I'm no hero." "No, you are in this town." "But in my area we know you well as a buyer and user of vampire blood." "And that's a very grave offense." "Yeah, listen." "I don't do that no more." "All things considered, however, we'll call it even." "But you won't be doing it again." "Got it." "Good boy." "Run along." "Thanks, this is great." "You've avoided being alone with me all night." "Nonsense." "With all the commotion, there's just hardly been time." "I was in that basement for two days." "You don't even want to know what almost happened to me down there." "Where were you?" " Sookie, it's..." " "It's complicated" is not an answer." "Every time I've needed you, you've always come running, even in broad daylight." "What kept you?" "I was held." "Held?" "Like kidnapped?" "By who?" "By Eric?" "Heard my name." " I hope you were speaking well of me?" " Why should I?" "You let me walk into a trap." "I regret that." " If I had known it was a possibility..." " You did know." "But because it was Godric, you'd risk anything." "The bond between a vampire and his maker is stronger than you can imagine." "Perhaps one day you'll find out." "What's the matter?" "What, you don't like me anymore?" "I {\just }don't think..." "Bill might not like us doing this stuff in his house." "He'll never know." "Come on, you drove so fast, I know you want to again." "Besides, we got two hours before dawn." "I can't believe I waited so long." "We are gonna do it every single night whether you want to or not." "You still want to, don't you?" "Well, sure, yeah." "It's just that Sookie and Bill might come in any minute." "We got the house to ourselves." "I promise." "I've never wanted anything so bad in my life." "Make love to me again." "Please." "Do me." "Now." "Wait, stop, stop." "Sorry." " What happened?" " I don't know." "It just..." "I mean, it's felt like..." "Is that blood again?" "Oh, my God." " What, Jessica, what?" " It grew back." " It?" "What?" " My..." "It fucking grew back." "I should have known." "{\I mean, }Everything heals when you're a goddamn vampire." "Okay, come on." "Come on." "It's gonna be beautiful." "Every time will be like our first time." "It'll hurt like hell." "I'm a fucking deformity of nature." "I'm gonna be a virgin forever." "I don't like being touched." "Believe me, I do not like touching you." "Your contact with Sookie will cease from this moment." "That's hardly your decision." "Calling in my maker because you couldn't win Sookie for yourself is feeble and desperate even for you." "Are you picking a fight?" "I'd like to see you try." "She will never be yours." "And there is nothing you can do." "In this you are powerless." "Accept it." "{\Here, }This is the one who betrayed us." "He's your human, is he not?" "Yes, he is." "Do you love him?" "I thought I did." "It appears you love him still." "I do." "I'm sorry." "But you are my sheriff." "Do with him as you please." "You are free to go." "What?" "The human is free to go." "And do not return." "I fear it is not safe for you here." "This is a travesty." "This is my verdict." "Escort them out." "Make sure he leaves unharmed." "Thank you." "Thank you, sheriff." "What was that about?" "Godric is sheriff and he has the authority to..." "I mean, with Eric." "Why are you talking to him if he kidnapped you?" "It wasn't Eric." "Then who{\ was it}?" "Is there someplace we can talk in private?" "This really isn't the time..." "Look, if I don't say this now, I never will." "Look, please, it'll only take a minute." "Let's go out back." "Thanks." "{\Listen, }I know everyone says it, but I'm really not the guy you want." "If it's like you said, that there's something out there that's fixing to get you," "then jail's just about the safest place to spend the night." "Now, come on." "Hey, Sam." "Join the party." " What...?" " I'd come{\ down} and give you a hug, but I lost my pants." "Yeah, it's been a hell of a night." "Must be a full moon." "Pretty sure it's not." "Mike?" "What'd they arrest you for?" "Sodomy." " What?" " Yeah, they say I..." "I sodomized a pine tree." " What'd you do that for?" " I don't know." "Must have blacked out, but it's {\gotta be }true." "My pecker's got all kinds of scratches on." "Don't worry, Mikey." "It'll heal." "What are you in for?" "Worse than me?" " Leave him alone, Mike." " Sam?" "What is it?" "I need you to forgive me." "What?" "You love my sister, and... there ain't no reason why you shouldn't be able to." "All this time, I let my own stupid ignorance stand in the way." "Thank you." "But I am also in your debt for helping rescue Sookie." "After all I did to fuck everything up, that's the least I can do." "I'm just sorry it took me so long to wake up to it." "Well, you did." "Just in time." "Well, was that okay for you?" "It was fine." "Hugo's been dispatched." "I told him not to stop driving until he reaches the Mexican border." "I've arranged for an AB-negative human for you." "Extremely rare." "Thank you." "I'm not hungry." "You have to feed eventually." "I doubt the Fellowship had anything to offer." "Why wouldn't you leave when I first came for you?" "They didn't treat me badly." "You'd be shocked at how ordinary most of them are." "They do nothing but fan the flames of hatred for us." "Let's be honest." "We are frightening." "After thousands of years, we haven't evolved." "We've only grown more brutal, more predatory." "I don't see the danger in treating humans as equals." "The Fellowship of the Sun arose because we never did so." "Is that why you wouldn't fight when they took you?" "I could have killed every last one of them within minutes." "And what would that have proven?" "Oh, my God." "I inhaled that fucker." "You know what?" "I didn't think it was possible, but this is better than her pie." "Way better." "I gotta learn how to cook." "You know, I feel like a superhero." "I mean..." "You look like one." "How about now?" "I mean, I feel invincible, you know?" "Like nobody could even hurt me." "I hate you." "I fucking hate your guts." "You fucking bitch." "I fucking hate you too." "You're not even trying, are you?" "More." "Is that all you got?" "I mean..." "Now, that feels so fucking good." "Damn, boy." "Do it again." "Fuck, I want you so bad." "That's great." "Me too." "Hello, there." "I'm Lorena." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Sookie." "You are what all the fuss is about." "Excuse me?" "Aren't you a morsel." "I'm sorry." "Who are you?" "Well, we have a mutual friend." " Bill?" " That's right." "Funny he never mentioned me." "I practically made him what he is today." "Hello, darling." "I was just getting to know your plaything." "You always did like to prey on the innocent." " Is this your maker?" " She released me years ago." "She no longer has any hold over me." "I wouldn't say that." "We had two marvelous nights in your {\hotel }room." "What?" "Did you know your boyfriend hit me over the head with a 52-inch plasma television earlier tonight?" "Everyone says they're so thin and light, but let me tell you, when wielded properly, it's quite a weapon." " You did?" " {\Lorena, }You need to leave." "I hope he doesn't pull the same shenanigans with you." "There's no excuse for domestic violence." "What she has failed to mention is that she was holding me prisoner." "Pshaw." "We were just catching up is all." "You must have been worried sick, wondering where he was." "I admit it." "It got a bit heated." "But you know how old lovers can get sometimes." "Do not touch him." "My, we're feisty too." "You're no more than a blood bag." "You cannot win this." "I've already won." "Bill chose me." "And yet you still won't give up." "Don't you have any shame?" "Stop." "I'd listen to him." "Run away, little girl." "William and I love each other." "You've gone mad." "Now get out now." "Maybe you do love him." "Who am I to guess?" "But he doesn't love you." "He never has, and that we both know." "Take those words back or they shall be your last." " We're leaving!" " Go find someone else, you fucking bitch!" "You've lost this one!" "Retract... your... fangs." "Now." "I neither know nor care who you are." "But in this area and certainly in this nest," "I am the authority." "Do you understand?" "Yes, sheriff." "This human has proven herself to be a courageous and loyal friend to our kind." "And yet you treat her like a child does a dragonfly, pulling off wings for sport." "No wonder they hate us." "She provoked me." "And you provoked me." "You disrupted the peace in my own home." "I could snap you like a twig." "Yet I haven't." "Now, why is that?" "It's... your choice." "Indeed it is." "You're an old vampire." "I can tell." "You've had hundreds of years to better yourself, yet you haven't." "You are still a savage, and I fear for all of us, humans and vampires," "if this behavior persists." "You." "You seem to know her." "Yes, sheriff." "Escort her from the nest." "Go ahead." "I'm fine." "I wish you out of my area before dawn." "I don't know how it got this way." "I can't help it that I still love you." "You know I do." "But now it's become nothing but a constant humiliation." "The pain that you suffer you've inflicted upon yourself." "When will we see each other again?" "Never." "We're immortal." "Our paths are bound to cross eventually." "I have him by the neck, shaking..." "But... and funny you say that because..." "What the fuck, man?" "Stay away from me, Stackhouse." " Got nothing to say to you." " {\Man, }What the hell you doing?" "Just go." "Excuse me, everyone." "If I could have your attention." "My name is Luke McDonald." "I'm a member of the Fellowship of the Sun." "And I have a message for you all from Reverend Steve Newlin."

"Vacation time in the United States means traveling." "And traveling in the United States is wonderful." "Fill your gas tank and hit the road." "The big rolling freeways and the fantastic traffic patterns." "Monuments to a civilization that moves on wheels." "There's a turnoff to everywhere and you can go straight ahead too, if you only know how." "Some people go to the mountains or the shore we packed two weeks' camping equipment in a trailer and headed south to a place I'd never seen." "And something happens to you when you cross the border into another country." "It's exciting, even if it's only the country next door." "Hello." "Where do you going in Mexico?" "We stay here in Tijuana tonight." "In the morning, we head south of Ensenada." "A fishing trip." "Turista pass." "Born in the United States?" "And you?" "Thank you." "Tijuana is fun, like a carnival." "Strange people, strange words." "You name it, and they've got it." "It's a boomtown with tourists for oil wells." "And if you want to build up your sales resistance well, this is the place." "Sombrero, señor?" " I never use them." " No?" "Shoes for the little boy?" " Post cards?" " No, thank you." "Spider?" "Very pretty." "Look." "For the little boy." "Music?" " No, thanks." " No?" "Oh, horses, maybe." "I know the man." "He make good deal for you." "Okay, boy." "Just a minute." "Watch the camera." "Smile." "That's it, boy." "It'll be a lovely picture, señora." "You'll like it, you'll see." "Well, it's duty free." "I'm saving money for you." "Every time you save me money, you cost me money." "You just don't understand the simplest facts." " Sexish." " The simplest facts." "But don't they catch cold?" " Oh, no." " For the little boy, maybe?" "No, he's getting a little too old for that sort of thing." "Post cards?" "Very pretty." "South of Tijuana, the highway settles down to a single winding tape of asphalt and the country opens up." "You don't have to worry which road to take." "There's only one." "It's marked, "Mexico 1," and the sign says, "Ensenada, 92 kilometers."" "That's about 60 miles." "Say, honey how about putting the top down after we get out in the country?" " Won't blow too much." " Sure, it's a wonderful idea." "It was a little foggy when we got to Ensenada." "But even with the fog it has something with its quiet harbor, its little lobster boats and a sign, "Bienvenidos." That means welcome." "It's the place where you fill your gas tank, check your tires." "You'd better." "It'll be a long time before you get another place to do it." "When you see a map, you see what isolation you're heading into." "Tijuana, Ensenada up at one end, and then 400 miles to La Paz the only other town at the other end." "In between, nothing but names." "Oh, picturesque names." "Mission Santo Tomás, Colonia Guerrero, El Rosario but just names." "Ancient settlements and missions no longer existing, ghost towns, ruins." "Below Ensenada, it's a road of dirt and desolation." "A road of shifting sands and bruising rocks of quail that scoot through clumps of cactus and doves that rise in soft, whirring clouds." "High adventure beckons down this road but never again will it beckon to me." "Turista pass." "Keys to the back." "You are Douglas Stilwin?" "You are Mrs. Stilwin?" " This is your son?" " Yes." "He must be the boss, that fellow." "He's a captain, or maybe even a colonel, I don't know." "Dad, what's going on?" "Go ahead." "Say, Dad, what was going on back there?" "Well, I'll tell you, sonny." "Somebody probably lost a goat or a cow or something." " Mexicans have a way of taking things big." " Mexicans?" "Why, you and Bobby acted as if you hadn't seen a police car in your lives." "Oh, Mom, you always treat me like a kid." "I wonder why." " What was it really?" " Who knows?" "Checking stolen cars, looking for contraband, I don't know." "What difference does it make?" " You could've asked." " Never would've told me." " How do you know?" " Four years in the Army." "They never tell you." "Besides, I didn't want them to go poking around in that zippered bag." "Why not?" "Oh, Doug, what did you bring this thing for?" " Is it loaded?" " Certainly not but there's a clip of bullets in the case." "Helen, it's not a bad thing to have." "It is pretty desolate country down here." "You never know." "Never fired it once in the Army." "Thought we might pop off a can or two, huh, Bobby?" "You bet." "And maybe we'll need it for protection." "Who knows what perils there are down here." " Honey, we'll use it for target practice." " Well, don't use me for the target." "What are you smiling about?" "Nothing, nothing at all." "I love you." "Well, I love you too, but what are you smiling at?" "Cut it out." "Will we get to the ocean in time for lunch, Pop?" "I hope so." "Gosh, we must have hit a nest of rattlesnakes." "And they all landed in the radiator." "It's boiling again." "There's a place ahead where we can pull off." "We'll get a chance to use that five-gallon water can of ours." " Well, that is..." " What's the matter, Mom?" "Well, the fact is, it's empty." "What?" "Who was the vice president in charge of the water can?" "Doug, I'm sorry." "I forgot to tell you to fill it at the last service station." "Gee, Mom, you didn't forget?" "Yes, I goofed off, but it's really no problem." "Of course not." "We'll probably run into a 50-pump gasoline station any minute." "We'll get plenty of water." "Why, I think I see one right up ahead right now." "Where, Dad, where?" "Pay no attention to your father, son." "He's just being humorous." "Dad, this is no time for jokes." "Why, we might be in perils." " Are we, Mom?" " No, darling." "Look, "Garaje, water."" "Two people per square mile." "I live right." "Well it may not be 50 pumps, but we'll get some water." "Maybe we can even get something to eat." "I'm going to order a nice ice-cold glass of tea breast of chicken salad, with just a touch of lettuce and watercress." "Say, that's pretty good, Dad." "Oh, look, fiesta." " That was two days ago." " They should be back." "Takes them three days to get over a fiesta." " What's a fiesta?" " A feast day." "Feast day." "Gee, I'm starved." "We'll have lunch at the beach." "If we ever get there." "We were looking for water, amigo, remember?" " You look around the back, Bobby." " Okay." "Let's see, tires, tubes, stuff like that." " I've got some, I've got some." " That's a good boy." "Least we can do for them." "See that rock formation up ahead?" "Those funny-looking boulders?" " What about them?" " I remember them." " We're getting closer." " I'm glad we're getting close to something." "What a memory, Dad." "Look at the quail." "I suppose you recognize some of them too." "Seems like only yesterday Joe and I were scouting looking for some of the best fishing and hunting." "Those were the days." "What an outing." "Tell about it, Dad." "Whatever became of Joe?" "He probably never survived the outing." "Doug, are you sure we're on the right road?" " Positive." " You could have asked, couldn't you?" "Why should I ask when I know?" "Is it beneath your dignity to ask directions?" "Mom, it ain't..." " Isn't." " Isn't his dignity." "Dad just knows, that's all." "There she is." "Turnoff for the beach is just a little further down the road." "This is a road?" "Honey, we're almost over the worst of it now." "In a few minutes you'll be swimming in that surf." "Think of all that wonderful privacy." "I'd enjoy the wonderful privacy of a nice bubble bath right at the moment." "Mom, you always think about civilization." "Don't knock it, son." "Just get a whiff of that air." "Honey, you're gonna love it." "There's the beach." "That's where Joe and I camped, there at the base of that jetty." " Who lives in those houses, Doug?" " Nobody." "They've been empty for years." "Picked clean." " It's beautiful." " How do we get down there?" "There's a road down the side of the bluff." "Come on, let's take a look." "I was happy that we had finally arrived at Doug's beach but there was something about that jetty, I didn't know what." "Reaching out into the water, gaunt and ugly at low tide." "I hated that jetty the moment I saw it." "Road's still there." "Just a little washed out." " It's a cinch, Mom." " Doug, what was that pier for?" "They used to fish here for money." "End of the war ended that." "They used the jetty for loading." "Did you fish off the end of the pier?" "We sure did, son." "Say, if you had a freckle for every barracuda that I caught off the end of that pier..." "Honey?" "Well, this is it." "Everybody out." "Boy, look at all that firewood." "I'm vice president in charge of the fire." "You promised." "Mr. Vice President, lunch in 10 minutes." "I'll be back." "Dad, Mom, I'm glad we're here." "That's for sure." "Before we unpack, I'd better move the trailer to a better spot." "Okay." "Put my shoes in there, will you please, Doug?" "Know something?" "I'm glad we're here." "That's for sure." "Helen, I've looked forward to this all the time I was in the Army." "The three of us, out in the middle of nowhere." "All this wonderful privacy." "Nothing to do but eat, swim, sleep." "Nothing to do but eat, swim and sleep." "You're like a kid out of school." "A kid?" "Well, we'll talk about that later." "I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy it here too." "You will." "I'm enjoying it more already." ""P-E-L-l-G-R-o."" " Doug, lunch is ready." " You mean I'm not dreaming?" " The iced tea will get warm." " Let it." "Well, the sun is hot, we'll get warm." "Where's Bobby?" "Oh, I don't know." "Off in a cloud of firewood, I guess." " You better call him." " Later." "No, now." "Why, you..." "Go on, call him." "We told him lunch in 10 minutes." "He must be starving." "Okay, you win." "See him anyplace?" "No, but he can't be far." "Stop being native and see if you can get him here." "Bobby." " Bobby, lunch." " Bobby." "That kid." "The way he's able to disappear." "Doug." "Look, out there on the jetty." "Bobby." "Bobby." "Hey, son, come on back." "Lunch." "Bobby." "Bobby, come on back in here." "Bobby." "Bobby." "My foot's stuck, and I can't get it out." "Bobby, come on back in here." "Bobby, can you hear me?" " Bobby..." " Doug, what does this mean?" ""P-E-L-l-G-R-o."" "Danger." "Bobby, are you all right?" "My foot's stuck, and I can't get it out." "Doug, something's happened." "He's trying to say something to us." "Listen." "My foot's stuck, and I can't get it out." "I'll go out after him." "Bobby, stay right where you are, I'm coming after you." "Don't get excited, Bobby." "I'll be right there." "Take it easy, Bobby." "We'll have you back in a minute." "There we are." "This thing's shaky, Dad." "Probably won't hold the two of us." " Don't worry." " You better go back." "Don't you worry about that, Bobby." "You really got that stuck, haven't you?" "Relax your foot." "Let me see if I can get that shoe off." "This might hurt a little bit, son." "Just hold it." " There we go." " Gosh, why didn't I think of that?" "Because you're like your mom, son." "You get too excited, that's why." "Here, let's put this on." "Sit down, get comfortable." "We don't want you to pick up any splinters." "There we go." "See if you can stand on it, boy." "Okay?" "All right, now, take it easy, Bobby." "Nice and slow." "There we go, fella." "You better go across first." "These planks might not hold us." " Okay." " Take it easy." "Is he all right?" "Yeah, he's okay." "His foot just got stuck." " I'll wait here till you get across, Bobby." " Okay." "Attaboy, son." "Take it nice and easy." "Careful, Bobby." " Doug." " Dad." "Dad." "Doug, are you all right?" "Are you hurt?" "It missed me." "That piling, it busted." "What's the matter, Doug?" "Can't you get up?" "No." " Your foot seems to be caught." " Can't pull it loose." "Bobby." "Bobby, go up and get the shovel, we'll just dig it a little bit, that's all." " You're sure you're not hurt?" " I'm not, that's the strange part of it." "I can't figure out why." " The weight of this timber..." " I can't feel it." "Honey, don't worry about it." "We'll dig it out." " Here's the shovel, Dad." " Let me have it, Bobby." "Can't I help?" "I can dig better than Mom." "You can take turns, son." " Does it hurt?" " No worse than a kick in the shins." " Gosh, it's all my fault too." " How do you figure that?" "If I hadn't climbed up this blamed old thing, none of this would have happened." "Wasn't your fault, Bobby." "Doug, this is solid rock." " Here, I'm a good digger." " Yeah." " Let me try." " Yeah, wait a minute, Bobby." "I just can't pull it loose." "The piling is jammed between those boulders." "We could lift it with the car jack." "Sure." "Why didn't I think of that?" " I'll get it, Dad." " Attaboy." "There." "Right down at the end." "That'll be the spot for the jack." "I got it, I got it." "Got it, Mom." "That's it, honey." "Just a few more notches." "I can move my foot a little." "Just a little bit more, baby." "The angle pin's broken." "It's useless." "Bobby, come on." "Pull as hard as you can." " Helen." "Helen, wait." " Bobby, are you pulling hard?" "This isn't doing any good." " Get over and push." " You're wearing yourself out." " Doug, we've gotta get you out." " Helen." "Stop it." " I'm sorry." " Be quiet, Bobby." "Bobby." "Bobby, go up to the car and unhook the trailer." "Okay, Dad." "Helen." "Helen, remember when Bobby was two years old and he cut himself on some glass?" "You saved his life that day." "Remember how?" "By keeping your head." "You did get hysterical for a while but I finally convinced you that you had to calm down." "One of us had to go for the doctor, while one of us stayed." "Worked out fine, remember?" "Now, let's work along those same lines today." "Above all, don't let yourself get hysterical." "I won't, I promise." "What do you want me to do?" "First, I want you to know one thing." "The two of you alone will never be able to move this timber." " What else can we do?" " We could use the car, if we had a rope." " We have, in the trailer." "I'll get it." " No." "That rope is too light." "It'd break." " We've gotta get a heavier rope." " But where?" "The nearest place is where we stopped for water." " You can get some help." " It's hours away." " Just a few." " And hours back." "I'll wait for you." "But the roads, you know I'm not a good driver." "That's for sure." "Sure wish I could drive." " The tide is coming in." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Won't the tide float the timber off, Dad?" "It probably will, but you better go for the rope anyway." "How much time do I have?" "It's been coming in for a couple hours." "You got four hours." "You can make it." "Bobby will wait." " What time is it now?" " It's almost 4:00." " That perfume, sexish." " Oh, you." "By the way, the Mexican word for rope is cuerda." "I've got it, Doug." "Don't drive fast, and don't take any chances." "I won't, dear." " The trailer's unhooked." " Stay here and take care of Dad." "I will." "Try and stay on the right side of the road." " Comfortable, Dad?" " Yeah, sure, Bobby." "Get the shovel and the jack up on the beach out of this water." "Okay." "Bobby, there are lobster boats coming along here all the time." "They buy from the native fishermen." "When one comes along, maybe we can yell for help, eh?" "Yeah, when one comes along, I'll get it to stop." "Don't worry." " Attaboy." " Want your cigarettes?" "Yeah, they're up on the table." "Bring my lighter too." "Okay." "Do you speak English?" "I'm in trouble, I need help." "My husband is trapped down by the water." "I need a rope." "Money." "I'll pay you money if you'll come with me." "No, no, no, please." "Please, come with me." "Well, then, tell me where I can get a "cuerdo."" "Look, Bobby." "Let's see if you can guess what this one is, huh?" "Let's see." " It's a gopher." " Nope." "Guess again." "Squirrel." "A squirrel?" "Bobby, you're slipping." "Everybody knows a squirrel has a big bushy tail." "Say, Dad, how long has Mom been gone?" "Not very long." "Come on, you've got one more guess." "Gee, Dad, I don't know." "I give up." " But what about the lobster boats?" " It's a beaver, Bobby." "Anybody with eyes in his head can see that." "Or maybe you think I'm not a very good artist?" "Did you really see lobster boats when you were here before?" " Sure, lots of them." " Why haven't we seen any?" "They don't come along till pretty late in the evening." "After they've got their catch." " Do you suppose they'll see us?" " Sure." "Bobby, remember, we weren't gonna worry." "Sure, Dad." "Well, gee, the water's..." "And we weren't gonna talk about that either." "I'm sorry." "Looks like a skunk to me." "A skunk." "The first thing when we get home, I'm gonna have your eyes examined." "Here." " You draw." "Let's see how good you are." " I'll skip this turn." "Hey, how about me building a fire and making you some coffee?" " Would you like some?" " Sure, that's a great idea." "I'll get some driftwood, and I'll get it going." "One cup of coffee coming up." "Hello." "Hello." "You're American." "You can help me." "I'm in trouble." "My husband is trapped back there on the beach." "Unless we get back there the tide will drown him." "Get in." "It's back this way." "What time is it?" "Oh, good." "We'll make it." "We needed a rope, and I've got one." "We were on a fishing trip, and there was this jetty, and my husband, he..." "You haven't heard a word." " Don't you understand?" "I'm in trouble." " Aren't we all?" "Who are you?" "What were you doing there?" "I turned, and all of a sudden there you were." "Out of the nowhere into the here." "Crackers all you got to eat?" "Well, hello, hello." "Don't you understand?" "I'm in trouble." "My husband..." "Stop, lady." "You'll have me crying." " I'm a very sensitive man." " Get out of this car." "I need someone who can help." "Stop the car and get out." "You're a real boss." "You must drive your husband nuts." "Sure you got nothing more to eat than crackers?" "You're gonna drive now, and don't try anything." "If I have to kill you, no one's gonna know your husband's trapped." "No one." "And I'll kill you." "Honest." "Now, move over." "Behave now or this gun will blow a very pretty piece of you right over the side." "Now, drive." "Did you see anyone on the road, hitchhiking, a man?" "No." "What road did you come over?" "From the beach." "My boy is there now." "Yes?" "L..." "We're on a fishing trip." "Don't pick up anyone." "There's a dangerous criminal loose down here." "Big fellow, an American." "If you see anybody, of course you will call the police." "Better go to the beach and get your boy back into town." "Are they gone?" "Keep driving a while, you're doing fine." "They might come back." "Some women would've tried something just then and had their brains blown out." "You're smart." "Honest." "I like smart women." "They got cat in them." "Now that I didn't give you away, will you take me back?" " No." " You've got to." "If you don't, he'll drown." "When you're mad, the specks in your eyes dance." "What kind of a man can let a man die?" "No one knows he's there." "Let's keep it our little secret then." "The least you can do is take me back, and then you can go on." "Look, you're smart, be smart." "I can save your husband or I can save myself." "I can't do both." "When the dice roll you gotta take what comes." "I'll drive now, move over me." "Believe me, don't believe me." "I'm sorry." "You are not." "You're right, I'm not." "Look at those specks dance now." "Here we are, Dad, nice and steaming." "Attaboy, Bobby." "It sure smells good." " Hope you like it." " Yeah." "I like it strong." "Well, then, you're gonna like this, it's kind of like ink." "How is it?" "It's very..." " Very unusual, Bobby." " Don't you like it?" "It's the most unusual coffee I've ever tasted." "Gee, thanks, Dad." "Bobby, I..." "I was thinking about you while you made the coffee." " What is it, Dad?" " L..." "Well, son, I watched you, and I was pretty proud of you." " Gee, is it that good?" " Yeah." "What I mean is, you'd never made coffee before, had you?" " Nope, and there weren't directions either." " I know." "Maybe there are gonna be a lot of times in your life when you have to do things and there won't be directions on how to do them." "Things that have to be done." "You know what I mean?" "What are you talking about, Dad?" "Well, Bobby, like here today." "Maybe you'll have to face problems that you never faced before." "I want you to tackle them like you did that coffee." "Sure, Dad." "If your mother's late getting here..." " But she won't be, will she?" " No, no, but if she is." "What I'm trying to tell you is I don't want you to panic and run away." "The best thing is to stick around." "Your mother is going to expect to find you here when she gets back." "Keep that fire going so she'll know where to look for us." "Take care of your mother, always, you hear me?" "Sure." "But Mom's not gonna be late, is she?" "No, no, of course not." "But I feel better now knowing that you're gonna be around to take over." "Just in case." " I'll go warm it up." " Okay, Bobby." " About the fishing tomorrow, Dad..." " Yeah, let's have a contest." " Bet I'll catch the biggest." " Sure you will." "You're going to have to go by the road to the beach." " So?" " Well, that's where my husband is." "Last time I was with another guy's wife she was perfectly happy to forget her husband." "Quit worrying." "From my angle you got what it takes." "You'll find another guy in a breeze." "If he dies, I promise you one thing, I'll kill you." "That puts you in a class with 10,000 cops." "They all got the same idea." " It's a good idea." " Shut up." "That hurt, didn't it?" "I like being alive." "I like eating and drinking." "I like dice, and I like talking." "I like a woman." "I like..." "I don't like cops." "You'll splash that beautiful build all over the road." "You're built for speed, but not that kind." " You've never been married, have you?" " Yeah, once." "She had your kind of cat." "She was..." " Where's the jack?" " The beach." "We tried to lift the timber off with it." "Oh, that's fine." "That's fine." " Don't go away." " Where would I go?" "Yeah, that's right." "Pretty neat, huh?" "Mustn't touch." "Trying to kill me, huh?" "You're wasting an awful lot of energy, honest." "You're not going no place." "You're just the right weight." "Yeah." "Put me down." "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Bobby, yell." "Help!" "Yell, Bobby." "Help!" "Bobby, go up high." "Maybe they can't see you." "Run, Bobby, go up high." "Run." "Get on the platform and keep yelling." "Wave the towel, Bobby." "Wave the towel." "Help!" "Help!" "Bobby." "Bobby, yell." "Help!" "Help!" "Over here, we're in trouble." "How are the fishing today?" "Bobby, go up higher." "No, wait a minute." "Fire." "Bobby, build up the fire." "Throw something on it, Bobby." "No, Bobby." "More stuff." "That won't burn." "Get something from..." "That's it." "Get something from the trailer." "Anything that'll burn." "Get it down there, Bobby." "Throw them on the fire." "Hurry, son." "Hurry." "Help!" "Help!" "No, Bobby, that's not..." "Put everything on it." "Grab the tarp out of the trailer." "Hurry, boy, run." "Hurry." "Hurry, Bobby." "Throw it right on there." "Help!" "Help!" "Why didn't they stop?" "What's turista mean?" "They think we're tourists, Bobby." "Tourists out for an outing." "They didn't know we're in trouble." "You think maybe the guy will see the smoke?" "Maybe they've gone for help." "Maybe." "Bobby." "Bobby, you'd better get out of here." " Go up on the beach, dry out your clothes." " I'm okay, Dad." "I know, but you're gonna need your strength for when your mother gets here." "She might be alone." "She'll need help, somebody she can depend on." " Okay, Dad." "There'll be other boats along." " Attaboy." "Wait until you hear how loud I yell next time." "They'll be sure to stop." " One thing I haven't told you." " Don't you know to buy two tires?" "My boy is back there." "One good spare and a cheap retread, just in case." "Can't you understand what it'll mean if my husband drowns and the boy has to wait for someone?" "I knew a guy used to take the nail out of a flat and throw it into the street." " It's deserted." "No one knows he's there." "Once he fixed seven flats from the same nail." "How would you feel if it were your own son?" "Frankly, I'm not a family man." "I've wondered what I would do if it ever came to something like this." "I wonder if every wife wonders." "Pretty neat, huh?" "Yeah, pretty neat." "Those telegraph wires are gonna be hot when they pull those jerks out of the ditch." "But getting away is my business." "It's my business to know those police cars travel in pairs." "We're gonna hole up for a while." "Where do you go from here?" "We go to La Paz." "What are you going to do there?" "I don't know." "One thing at a time." "You can't plan too far ahead in this business." " You're amazing." " Yeah, that's what I always tell myself." "What are you gonna do about your clothes?" "You left your coat back there." "Those numbers on the back of your shirt..." "I'll find a guy someplace, and we'll switch." "My husband is your size." "Honest?" "There are other things at the beach you could use." "For instance?" "Identification papers which would prove you were Doug Stilwin." "They match the registration papers on this car." "Now that the other police car has gone by you could spare the time." "Hasn't your husband got other clothes than the ones he's got on?" "No but get him out and they would dry." "With his clothes, his identification I could go into the stores for you, to buy food for you." "We'd look like an ordinary couple traveling together on a fishing trip." "His clothes his identification all on the beach." " That's good perfume you got on you." " Yes." "I like cheap perfume." "It don't last as long, but it hits harder." "Is there anything else your husband's got I could use?" "I can't think of anything." " I can." " What?" "His wife." "With his clothes, his papers and his wife I could be snug as a bug in a rug." "I'd do anything to save my husband." "Anything." "I only like a woman when she smiles otherwise, what's the kick?" "How long since you talked with a woman?" "I could get rough." "How long since you talked?" "Saving your kisses for your husband?" "Bobby, get up on the beach." "Dad, will you take me out on one of those old fishing boats?" "We could catch some barracuda and some starfish and crabs." "Bobby, get up on the beach." "Get out." "Dad." "Dad, someone's coming." "I told you." "I told you Mom would be back." "Son..." "Hey, Mom." "Hey, Mom." "It's all right, Doug, I have help now." "Out of the water, Bobby, quick." "It'll take all the car's got and a lot of luck." "We'll try lifting the stuff off of him." "Stay with him." "I'll go up and tie the rope on the car." "Hang on, Doug, hang on." "It's going to be all right, darling." "Just hold on to me." "Get ready." "We'll lift with the next big wave." "Now." "Again." "Again." "Now." "It didn't move." "Give it more." "I'll try again." "It's no good." "I'm getting out of here." "What's the matter?" "Won't it work?" "It won't work, the car won't pull." "You're a cat all right, but what do you expect me to do?" "There's gotta be another way." "You never give up, do you?" "Untie that rope." "Take hold of that." "That's right." "All right, now throw up the rope." "Shove the end under the piling like a crowbar." "Like you're prying off the lid of a can." "Are there some rocks under there you can grab hold of?" "Yes." "You got it?" "I've got it." "Have you got it wedged under those rocks so it'll lift?" "I think so." "Good." "Now, it won't lift the stuff far, and we gotta work fast." "Get ready to yank him out." "It's all right, darling." "We'll get you out." "Now." "It moved." "Give it more." "I'll try again." "You'll be all right now, darling." "Stay with him, Bobby." "I'll get the blankets." "His clothes I got." "How about you?" "I'll hate you every minute of the time." "But I said I'd go with you, and I will." " You mean it." " Yes." "I thought I had a woman figured from every angle." "I thought you'd come begging." "You're sure with that husband of yours?" "He's a lucky guy." "A little of that kind of luck I could've used myself." "Better wrap some more blankets around him." "Goodbye." "Get back to town." "There's a dangerous criminal loose." "He was a swell guy." "He killed and he deserves to be killed." "And yet how will we feel when we read in the papers that he's been trapped shot down?" "Yes." "Yes, I've wondered what I would do if it ever came to something like this." "I wonder if every wife wonders." "[ENGLISH]"

"Ladies and gentlemen, step around." "Step around." "Come on." "Gather around." "We'll show you a little way to make a little easy money today." "You understand what I'm saying?" "These are the blacks." "Don't follow the blacks." "You wanna follow the queen." "Know why?" "'Cause she's red and that means she is hot." "You gotta find the queen." "Find the queen." "The first of the day is free to play." "Who wants to play?" "You look interested, my man." "You wanna step on up?" "Come on now." "Who wants to play?" "Oh, what about you, sweetie?" "You're cute." "Come on up." "All right." "Come on here and play." "Cute girls win money." "You look lucky." "Now, you look lucky." "Now, follow the queen." "Here we go, ladies and gentlemen." "Follow the queen." "Follow the queen." "Ain't no Helen Mirren, but this queen is for you!" "Which one?" "Which one?" "Which one is it?" "Which one is it?" "It's right there." "Right there?" "(WHOOPS)" "Beginner's luck." "Beginner's luck." "I'll tell you what." "It takes a woman to know a woman." "It takes a lady to find a queen." "There you go..." "Wanna double up?" "All right." "All right, we've got a chancer." "We got a chancer." "We got a chancer." "All right." "Here we go." "Here we go." "All you gotta do is find your queen." "You will not win again." "You will not win again." "All right." "Here we go." "Here we go." "Find your queen." "Find your queen." "Where is she?" "Where is she?" "Where is she?" "Can you find her?" "Right there." "This one?" "Oh, my..." "She is killing me here." "Taking all my money." "Anybody else wanna get behind the good-luck girl?" "I can do it." "You can do it?" "All right." "You're next." "Just give me a chance to recover and get my money back or else I'm gonna be out here sleeping on the street." "Here we go." "All right?" "Ready?" "This is the last time." "I'm not messing with you no more." "You're taking all my money, girl." "I'm not messing with you no more." "Here we go." "One more chance." "This is your last chance." "You're gonna follow the queen, baby." "Follow the queen." "Where's she at?" "Where's she at?" "Just one time." "I'll show you one time and there she is." "Boom." "Boom." "Boom." "Pick a card." "I can't decide." "What do you mean?" "Just pick a card." "Just make a decision." "I can't decide." "Come on." "Any card will do." "Left?" "Right?" "Center?" "I don't know." "Do you want the right?" "I don't know." "I..." "The left?" "The center?" "I don't know." "I..." "Move out the way and just let somebody else play then?" "I can't decide." "I can't." "You wanna flip a coin for it?" "What's wrong with me?" "MAN:" "Is she okay?" "Scariest 30 seconds of my life." "I couldn't do anything." "It's like I couldn't move inside my head." "It's called abulia." "The inability to make a decision or exercise will." "Is it going to happen again?" "It's part of a TIA." "A transient ischemic attack." "Blood was cut off to a section of your frontal lobe." "Is it like a stroke or something?" "A little." "What drugs have you taken recently?" "No drugs." "Toxins are another possibility." "You might have been exposed to something at work, for instance." "No real job right now." "Exposure can build up over time and lie dormant for a while." "What was your last job?" "Pet store." "Exotic pets?" "Tropical fish." "And before that?" "Unemployment." "And before that," "I sold subscriptions on the phone." "And before that, unemployment." "Before that, I worked at Jeans Gone Wild." "Before that, unemployment." "Before that, I walked dogs." "And before that..." "Loss of free will." "I like it." "Maybe we can get Thomas Aquinas in for a consult." "What caused the TIA?" "Arteries are clear." "No sign of a clot." "Could have dissolved." "Most likely came from her heart." "We should do a bubble study." "Clots are unlikely in a 28-year-old who's not on the pill." "It's probably a vasospasm caused by drugs." "I don't think so." "She goes from job to job." "Maybe there's some kind of ADD here." "Help us pinpoint where the neurological..." "She goes from job to job because she's a scam artist." "She works just long enough to qualify for unemployment, then gets fired and gets high." "I still don't think it's drugs." "Did you check for infection?" "LP showed nothing." "No fever." "White blood count is normal." "Could be toxic exposure." "You're the one always saying it must be drugs." "You figure she's a minority, she must be stoned?" "You know that's what I..." "She seems like a nice girl." "FOREMAN:" "You haven't met her!" "She was pregnant at 15, dropped out of high school." "She's a real overachiever." "CHASE:" "Come on." "Cut her some slack." "Her baby died of SIDS." "This isn't some romantic story about a nice girl scarred by tragedy." "She's a drug-using scam artist scarred by tragedy." "On the other hand, the tox screen just came back." "She's clean." "You're wasting my time." "He's wasting..." "Second ex-Mrs." "Wilson want money?" "I am no longer paying alimony." "She wanted her independence, so she got her realtor's license." "Market's doing badly." "She wants money." "Market's doing badly." "She's moving into a condo." "She wants..." "She wants me to take Hector." "Pool boy?" "Dog." "No longer interested." "We got him on our honeymoon." "So I'm like the other parent." "But I can't take him." "My hotel doesn't allow dogs." "Besides, I'm always here." "I asked Cuddy to a play Thursday." "(CHUCKLES)" "Oh, you..." "Okay." "She said she was busy." "And you didn't believe her, so you bribed a janitor, broke into her computer, checked her appointments..." "I asked her as a test." "What would you have learned if she'd said yes?" "A lot about bondage." "She was busy for me but not for you." "She's not interested in play qua play." "She's interested in you." "No." "I'm not getting sucked into the vortex of your insanity again." "Don't pass me notes in class." "Don't tell me to ask her to the prom." "You cannot see her socially." "You're leading her on." "I'll consider that." "After I take her to the Hockney exhibit." "On Thursday." "See, she is busy." "It's not a date." "She enjoyed the play." "I enjoyed her enjoying the play." "The woman works hard." "It's nice to see her relax." "So all this enjoying is an act of charity." "I'm keeping the receipts for tax purposes." "What's life without the ability to make stupid choices?" "She needs her free will." "Find out why her brain froze before she can't decide to take her next breath." "You find the toxins." "You run your bubble study." "You won't find anything but I'll get the office to myself." "There's a lot of porn piling up on the Internet." "Doesn't download itself." "Eric?" "Eric!" "Hello, Mr. Foreman." "Dr. Chase." "How are you?" "Good." "You're lucky you caught us, actually..." "I'll meet you outside." "Hey, Dad." "I've got to go." "Why are you here?" "Everything okay?" "Good as ever." "We're staying at a hotel down the street." "You didn't bring Mom with you?" "It's gonna be her 60th birthday in a few days." "I know." "We talked about it on the phone." "You said you couldn't come home." "You didn't have to come." "You haven't been home in eight years." "She should see you, while she still knows who you are." "Dad." "I've talked to her on the phone." "She only knows who I am sometimes." "Sometimes is important." "So what's up with your dad?" "Didn't know he was gonna be in town?" "No." "Building this old, could be toxic exposure anywhere." "Asbestos, mold, the coloring agents in the old wallpaper." "Or it could be drugs." "I thought we ruled out..." "Clean tox screen means drugs didn't cause the TIA." "Drugs can be laced with toxic substances." "Arsenic, rat poison." "The drugs wash out of her system, the toxins stick around." "Exposure could come about any number of ways." "There's no reason to assume it was through drug use." "Absolutely." "Except for the crack pipe." "I'll test her blood for arsenic and rat poison." "Yeah." "Yeah." "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" "And your dad asked you out for dinner?" "I'll do the tests." "You're stuck with your family." "You like Hockney?" "You heard about that." "The pop stuff or the Venezuelan pictures?" "That's a trick question." "Yes." "But you have no idea how it's a trick." "I like art." "I'm open to new things." "What's the problem?" "You're going to a gallery to see Venezuelan pictures that don't exist." "But you won't go to a play with me." "Why?" "House, why is my social life suddenly red hot?" "One minute I'm mushing along with the huskies as usual and suddenly it's global warming." "You think you saw somebody else pick up a toy from the sandbox and suddenly you want it." "Is that why you said no?" "Maybe I just want a friend and I thought Wilson was a safe choice." "I'm not safe?" "Cool." "James Wilson is never the safe choice." "We're going to a gallery." "We're not getting married." "Sure, you say that now." "He always marries them in the end." "Is that Eric?" "Eric!" "Oh!" "Oh, baby." "Baby!" "I wanted to find that picture I took at your high school graduation." "I had it reframed." "It's in one of these suitcases, but I don't know..." "You can show it to me later." "Your father wants to know if you've been praying." "You don't have to just come out with it like that." "But I only want to know if you're happy." "Sure." "I'm okay." "You like it here?" "You have friends?" "Yeah." "Everything is great, Mom." "That's why I brought the picture for you." "I remember when you were little you liked to look in the back of the math book because you knew even though it made no sense then, by the end of the year you'd understand it all." "That's why you brought the picture?" "You wanted to look ahead, to see how far you'd go." "Now you're a grown man, I thought you might like to look back to see how far you've come." "It all makes sense now." "Doesn't it?" "(CHUCKLES)" "That isn't mine." "(COUGHING) It was in your closet." "It belongs to this guy who used to live with me." "You might want to let him know he's got arsenic poisoning." "We should get a sample of his hair so we can see the extent of it." "But I don't do..." "I don't do drugs." "(COUGHING)" "Get a crash cart in here!" "Respiratory arrest!" "Are you sure it isn't from the arsenic?" "Dr. Foreman said I was poisoned." "Your hair showed only a trace amount." "Not enough to damage your lungs like this." "We need you to stay still now." "Six-millimeter cuts starting at the apices." "Also, I just wanted to let you know should you change your mind, I'll be available." "Aren't you getting tired of hearing me say it?" "I have no intention of going out with you, of having sex with you, of doing anything with you." "Except work." "We don't have to make a big deal about it." "I just thought I'd let you know." "I decided Tuesdays would be a good day to do that." "You did not suddenly fall in love with me." "You were looking for something and I happened to be standing..." "Cameron, it's fine." "No need to go on about it." "Advancing through the lung bases." "We need to put this behind us." "Understood." "But you keep bringing it up." "You're the one who's still talking." "Look, I'm not demanding anything from you." "I'm not following you home." "I've got no expectations." "A gentle, polite reminder once a week is hardly stalking." "There's a mass." "Just outside the lingula." "Biopsy shows there are white blood cells in the walls of the blood vessels." "They're not supposed to get past the bouncers." "Got to be autoimmune, something lymphocytic." "White blood cells are attacking her own body." "Only question is, what kind of autoimmune?" "Doesn't matter what kind." "It always matters what kind." "Treatment's always steroids." "Treatment is always boring." "Diagnosis..." "Okay." "It's affecting the larger blood vessels." "Gotta be giant cell arteritis." "I'll start her on steroids." "It's affecting the smaller blood vessels." "Gotta be lupus vasculitis." "I'll start her on steroids." "It's affecting..." "Yeah." "Got it." "Start her on steroids." "Good idea." "Told you." "That was boring." "I gotta go out." "Why?" "Wilson's got a date." "BONNIE.:" "It's got 15-foot ceilings." "It's got an open floor plan." "(CHUCKLES)" "You know, I can't believe you called me." "Hey." "I need a condo." "Didn't you and Wilson have your first date around here?" "Wow!" "You remember where our first date was?" "I didn't think you were paying attention." "Really?" "He's my best friend." "Our first date was in Boston." "Oh." "Not quite as close to here as I remember." "But we're not here to talk about him." "Absolutely not." "Wait till you see the kitchen." "All-granite countertops." "Since I wasn't paying attention back then, what was it like dating him?" "So this is Hockney?" "No." "I don't know what happened." "I'm sure you don't." "I never knew your tastes were so eclectic." "Oh, the Hockney exhibit finished on April 20th." "I thought it was May 20th." "Okay." "My bad." "This is not somewhere I'd bring someone on a date." "Not that this is a date." "Obviously." "I was just thinking..." "He's doing landscapes on multiple canvases now." "And they're kind of peaceful and you're always so busy..." "Wow." "(CHUCKLES)" "I don't think I've ever seen you embarrassed before." "Oh, it was never a date." "I was coming off a bad relationship and he said we could go out as friends." "You know, just go see plays, go to a museum." "I didn't think you liked Trenton." "Love it." "So he'd say it's not a date but then he'd jump you." "Oh, no." "He meant it." "James Wilson, carefully calibrating his level of protectiveness for your individual needs." "Did you just compare Wilson to a tampon?" "(CHUCKLES) No." "It was very endearing." "He really just wanted to be a friend." "So I jumped him." "The bedroom's through here." "CUDDY:" "That's such a bad idea." "There's no way that won't cause damage to the large intestine." "Are you keeping us here to torture me?" "Is that a bicycle pump?" "That's what I'm saying." "It's like walking into a sticky trap." "And once you're the focus of all that attention, it's addictive." "This unit's kitchen's got a chef's oven." "I cook a lot." "Go on." "But it's the emotional stuff that really sucks you in." "He's just so knight-in-shining-armor, you know?" "Always there to support you, until one day he's not." "But by then you're hooked." "Hey, do you think that you could talk to him about taking the dog?" "He's the only one that Hector really gets along with." "Hey, we're here to talk real estate, not Wilson." "So you're saying if you'd actually had sex before you connected emotionally, you'd have gotten over him." "(CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah." "Seems weird, right?" "'Cause sex with James is fantastic." "Nobody works harder to give a woman what she wants." "It's got six burners." "The chef's oven." "Right." "(LUPE COUGHING)" "How you feeling?" "That wasn't my crack pipe." "You told me." "Are you tired?" "I just took a hit off it a couple of times." "What's wrong with having a little fun?" "Your personal life is none of my business." "You don't like me though, do you?" "That's your imagination." "I've seen every kind of drug abuse." "No offense, but you don't even stand out of the pack." "I'm betting you got money in the same place you got attitude." "You know, people who quit drinking and people who lose weight." "They think they're better than the people that couldn't and because you got out of the projects, you think that anybody who didn't" "is weak and stupid." "I'm not judging you." "Now take a breath." "The only difference between me and you is that I made some bad decisions and you made some good ones." "You make bad decisions every day of your life." "Stop doing drugs." "Stop having fun." "Go back to school and get your GED." "Yeah, where's the money coming from?" "The system's not set up for people like me." "What are you staring at?" "Your eyes." "There's yellow in the sclera." "Her liver's failing." "Without a transplant, she'll be dead in the next 48 hours." "We should increase her immunosuppressants and target more specifically." "Add methotrexate." "Yeah, let's do more of what's not working." "This isn't an autoimmune disease." "Her white blood cells are attacking her body." "That's autoimmune." "FOREMAN:" "First brain, then lungs, now liver." "All getting worse and all in two days." "It's moving too fast." "It's gotta be cancer." "Lymphomatoid granulomatosis." "It's rare even by our standards but it fits her symptoms." "Explains why the steroids aren't working, poor fingernail growth." "A lot of people have bad fingernails." "A lot of people don't have three organ systems shutting down." "Her blood vessels are taking this thing everywhere." "She needs total body radiation." "We can't do anything until we can confirm..." "Running those immunochemistries could take a week." "She'll be dead by the time..." "That doesn't make radiation any safer." "Okay." "Suppose Chase and Cameron are right." "Suppose it's an autoimmune disease." "What's the biggest danger of total body radiation?" "It suppresses the immune system, which is what we're trying to do with the steroids anyway." "I don't usually put out on my first date but I gotta say that is a rad move." "Get her consent." "Start the radiation." "The patient's not too thrilled with me." "I'll get her consent." "Foreman's got personality issues, so you're gonna step in?" "Patient doesn't like Foreman." "I'm interested." "Fatigue, hair loss, possibility of damage to the lungs, infertility." "All possible side effects of radiation." "Why don't you like Dr. Foreman?" "(COUGHING)" "He thinks he's better than he is." "How good is he?" "I don't know." "Can we get back to what's wrong with me?" "There's a small possibility of leukemia at some time in the future." "Hardly worth mentioning." "You can't say he thinks he's better than he is if you don't know how good he is." "No one's as good as he thinks he is." "I am." "You might also get cataracts." "Sign here." "I don't know." "You're telling me how dangerous this is." "We're saving your life." "We're that good." "Sign there." "I can't decide." "Would you rather a pencil or a pen?" "Who's the better James Bond, Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?" "You see?" "That's not even a decision." "It's happening again." "I can't." "I can't." "(PANTING)" "(MACHINE BEEPING)" "(ALARM BEEPING)" "Up her blood thinners and get her down to Radiology." "The attack will be over in 20 minutes." "Then she'll wanna sign this." "Bonnie called last night to talk about the dog." "Your name came up." "Good Lord!" "How do you still have teeth?" "She's the worst realtor in New Jersey." "What is this?" "Escalation?" "I go out with Cuddy, you hook up with my ex?" "I don't even know what that's designed to do." "You're an addict." "I'm saving you from yourself." "By condo shopping?" "Thank you." "If I can figure out where you keep going wrong, then I can nip this Cuddy thing in the bud before she becomes the fourth ex-Mrs." "Wilson." "Yes." "I was worried there was no way to stop that train." "You have to have sex with Cuddy." "Wait." "To stop the train?" "Bonnie said I'm bad in bed?" "Huh?" "Yeah." "She also said that if she'd slept with you before she liked you then it would've made it easier to handle when you turned into the sorry bastard who left her alone." "I told her you were wasting her time, by the way." "You think that's gonna stop her?" "The woman's the worst realtor in New Jersey." "How do you feel?" "Weak." "Sleeping a lot." "CAMERON:" "That's normal after radiation." "FOREMAN:" "Deep breath." "(GROANS)" "A little queasy, too." "When I feel sick to my stomach" "I always want vanilla ice cream." "It's soothing." "It's best to stick with liquids for now." "(SHUSHING)" "I'm getting a murmur." "Oh, my arm!" "It's hurting me!" "Take it off!" "Take it off!" "(SCREAMING)" "Oh, my God!" "(CONTINUES SCREAMING)" "CAMERON:" "Pain is the issue." "Just the pressure of the BP cuff was enough to start her screaming." "That's not cancer." "It sounds like..." "Sounds like she's septic." "A lot of things can cause pain." "How much pain?" "Too much." "It's not cancer." "It's not autoimmune." "It's an infection and we fried her immune system." "CHASE:" "But she had no fever." "Her LP was clear." "Do an echo." "Confirm it's in the heart." "And then I'll tell our patient that we just killed her." "I'll tell her." "(DOOR OPENS)" "Hi." "You haven't been returning my phone calls." "I'm busy." "Well, but if you have half an hour a little later this afternoon," "I just found this unit ten minutes from here." "It hasn't been on the market yet." "I'm off the market for condos." "James was right?" "I never had the teeniest chance of selling you anything?" "Of course he was right." "Wilson doesn't stop giving good advice just 'cause you're divorced." "He's compulsive about remaining on good terms with his exes." "Do you wanna know why I named that dog Hector?" "No." "Let's keep it a mystery." "Because even when he was a puppy, he was the worst-tempered dog we'd ever seen." "He was supposed to be house-trained." "He'd pee on the carpet every morning." "When we had people over, he had to nip at their ankles." ""Hector does go rug" is an anagram for "Doctor Greg House"." "That's how early in the marriage I resented you." "Wow." "Did I ever waste money on that place setting." "James at least had the decency to feel guilty when he hurt me." "Whereas I didn't hurt you." "I didn't even marry you, cleverly hoping to avoid moments like this one." "You always needed him and he was always there for you." "If you keep yelling, I'll think you'll owe me sex." "You knew he had a wife waiting at home." "You didn't care." "Now, I'm not saying you broke up the marriage, but you didn't help." "First, "Hector does go rug" is a lame anagram." "You want a better one for Gregory House?" ""Huge ego." "Sorry."" "Second, find a new career." "You're never gonna sell anybody if you let them control the agenda." "And third, I don't owe you anything." "I'm not Wilson." "I'm not gonna buy a condo just to make you feel better." "WILSON:" "You okay?" "Yeah." "Tell me how to do this." "House says people thank you after." "It's not typical." "I already killed this woman." "All I can do now is not make any more mistakes." "First of all, stop thinking you can minimize the hurt." "A lot of people are afraid of the word "dying."" "If you pussyfoot around it, she's not going to read your mind." "Okay." "No, it's not." "When you look in her face, you're gonna feel the instinct to temporize." "Crush it." "Yeah." "Then wait." "Give her time to process the news." "Let her know you'll be with her through all of it." "Wait till she's done thinking, till she meets your eyes again." "Then if you feel it's appropriate, you can touch her." "Maybe put your hand on her arm like this." "Let her know she's still connected to another human being." "You've got this down to a science." "You're freaking out." "I told you..." "Give her what she needs." "What she doesn't need is a doctor who's not there with her because he made the wrong call." "You are freaking out." "You should be freaking out." "I won't let her see it." "Let her see it." "Hey." "How come no mask?" "We think..." "You have an infection." "Didn't the radiation work?" "It did what it was supposed to do." "You're dying." "What do you mean?" "Like things are bad and that someday I'm gonna..." "How much time?" "How much time?" "We can't know exactly." "A year?" "Less than a year?" "Less than 24 hours." "I don't understand." "Why are you saying this to me?" "You're trying to scare me?" "Why would you do that?" "I'm sorry." "It's true." "How bad is this cancer?" "Yesterday you thought I had a chance." "You don't have cancer." "You came in with an infection." "We didn't catch it." "What kind of infection?" "Doesn't matter." "(SIGHS)" "Radiation was the worst thing we could have done." "We destroyed the part of your body that was fighting it off." "It's spread to your heart." "Then give me drugs." "They have drugs for infections." "Antibiotics work with the immune system, but your immune system is nonexistent because of the radiation." "If it's my heart, you can get me a new heart." "People have heart transplants all the time!" "It wouldn't help." "The infection's everywhere." "There's nothing anybody can do." "(SIGHS)" "I'm so sorry." "We'll call your grandparents." "Get the hell away from me!" "Get out!" "Get out!" "(GROANS)" "CAMERON:" "I think it's broken." "Nothing like a melodramatic gesture to solve everything." "We were wrong, too." "Steroids wouldn't have helped her." "I didn't not help her." "I actually pulled the trigger." "There's nothing left for you to do." "One of us could go home with..." "You're trying to make me feel better?" "Yeah." "I killed a woman." "Don't you think it's appropriate" "I feel like crap for at least a little while?" "It won't help her." "Where is he?" "He went to the ICU." "What are you doing?" "Prepping for an aspiration." "We still don't know what infection..." "It's not gonna help her." "It's not gonna hurt her." "Well, it is gonna hurt her but it's not gonna..." "No." "This'll just take a few minutes." "I'll grab a piece of an abscess, some pus..." "You really don't care." "You really don't care why she's gonna be dead." "She's gonna be dead because..." "What?" "What did we screw up?" "What did we miss?" "I need to know." "You'll have to wait." "We're moving her back to her room." "Patients who've had total body radiation have to stay in ICU." "ICU isn't going to help her." "Let's give her some privacy." "What do you want?" "Want to see if I'm dying on schedule?" "Or do you want me to tell you it's all right," "I'm okay with it?" "I'd like your forgiveness." "I don't expect it." "Good." "'Cause this isn't like you ran your cart into mine at the supermarket." "No." "Your grandparents haven't arrived yet." "If they don't make it on time, is there anything you'd like me to tell them?" "I never really knew them." "You got any friends you want me to call?" "It's the middle of the night." "They're not the kind of friends you ask to help you move, never mind watch you die." "I never did much." "No kid to leave behind." "When I go, the world's not gonna be any different." "Kind of a relief for you, huh?" "You were right about me." "Yeah?" "Which time?" "I had a problem with you." "But you were wrong, too." "I've made some bad decisions." "Stole cars." "Robbed houses." "Killed a woman." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "But then I got another chance." "Left home, went to college, entered a whole other world." "And there's some part of me I can't get rid of, always thinks, if I'm not the smartest, if I'm not the first, everywhere I go" "they'll figure out I'm not supposed to be here." "They'll send me back." "You know that's not gonna happen." "You're out." "I'll never be out of there." "When I came home that last Christmas I was in college, it was like the rooms" "felt so small." "It was suffocating." "But when I was standing on the stoop saying goodbye, my mom put her arms around me." "That was..." "That was the last time I ever felt at home." "I only put distance between you and me because I know there isn't any." "You were right about me, too." "That stuff about the system being against people like me..." "I know it's crap." "I mean, it's true but it's also crap." "I just wasn't ready to try again." "But I always thought I was young." "I had time." "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "Aren't you ever gonna leave?" "No." "(RINGING)" "Yeah?" "Time of death, 3:35." "Do whatever you want." "(FOLLOW THE LEADER PLAYING)" "You wanna go and get drunk?" "No, thanks." "I've got paperwork." "Listen, I don't..." "I don't know what I believe but sometimes I need to think there's something out there paying attention." "So when I can't talk to anybody," "I talk to God and pretend somebody's listening." "We were all wrong." "You know?" "Even House was wrong." "I know." "(FOLLOW THE LEADER CONTINUES PLAYING)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "I got your consent." "Her bra hook." "What?" "She scratched herself with her bra hook." "That's how the infection got in." "Staph aureus." "She died from a simple staph infection?" "That and some bad decisions." "I'll be outside." "Go home." "Have a few drinks." "Go to sleep." "Get up tomorrow." "And do it all over." "Only better." "If you need absolution, go to a priest or give alms to the poor." "Whatever ritual comforts you." "I killed her." "Yeah." "Me, too." "This wasn't, "Oh, I should've thought of that idea sooner."" "This wasn't messing up a dosage!" "We see a disease rushing down on someone like a train, we can't always get them out of the way!" "But this wasn't that." "No." "And you'll do it again." "For a lot of doctors, this would be a once-in-a-lifetime mistake." "But we're not a lot of doctors." "And we'll save more patients than the guy down the street but a few of the ones that he'd save by doing what everyone else does, we will lose." "So you're giving me numbers." "Because they don't lie." "I can't forgive you, Foreman." "Because there's nothing to forgive." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "What did you tell him?" "That guilt is irrelevant." "You wanna get something to eat?" "Can't." "Got a dog waiting at home." "What's wrong?" "(SIGHS)" "I did something bad, Mom." "I hurt somebody." "It wasn't your fault." "It was." "Then I forgive you." "I forgive you." "I can see from your face you'd never hurt anybody on purpose." "Do you know who I am, Mom?" "It's Eric." "Of course." "My little boy's name is Eric."

"( Clears Throat ) Hey, Kelso." "( Door Closes )" "Well, that's a mighty big smile." "What, did you get into the Play-doh?" "No." "I'm happy 'cause today is Gift Day." "And in honor of this special day, I got you all gifts." "All right." "Aerosmith Live." "Yeah, for my friend who rocks." " Oh, man." "The new Rolling Stone." " For my friend who reads." "( Gasps ) Oreos!" "For my friend who snacks." " ( Yelps ) - ( Groans )" " ( Farts ) - ( Screams )" "( Wheezes, Cackles ) A triple-decker burn!" "Awesome!" "Wha-There's peanut butter on my headphones!" "These cookies are filled with toothpaste!" "All right." "That noise did not come out of my butt." "Welcome to Prank Day." "That's right." "It's Prank Day." ""Gift Day." You idiots." "A whoopee cushion?" "What are you, two?" "( Farts )" "These things are great." "Hangin'out" "Down the street" "The same old thing" "We did last week" "Not a thing to do" "But talk to you" "We're all all right" "We're all all right" "Hello, Wisconsin.!" " You got something in your ear, man." " What?" "Oh, my goodness." "It's peanut butter!" "Ha-ha." "Peanut butter wet willy." "Very clever." " But the thing about it is, you don't have to be clever." " ( Groans )" "Okay!" "Okay!" "This Prank Day is over." "Let's just watch TV." "Hey, Fez, I think there's a Nancy Drew on." "Oh!" "She can solve my mystery any day." "( Chuckles )" "And by the way, the mystery is in my pants." "Okay." "That's it." "I got a peanut in my ear." "Yeah." "I used chunky, so it might get up in your brain." "Yeah." "Ha-ha." "Laugh it up now, man, 'cause fun time is over." "What the hell?" "I'm stuck." "( Rattling )" "I have been glued!" "Not glued, superglued." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "So you covered the freezer handle and the TV knob in superglue?" "Knowing Forman's love for Popsicles and Fez's love for knobs!" "Yeah." "I'm an evil mastermind." "( Hooting )" "Kelso, is there a cushion glued to my butt?" "No." "Not glued, superglued." " You're a dead man." " Yeah?" "What are you gonna do- sit on me with your cushion-butt?" "( Giggling ) It won't hurt, 'cause it's a cushion-butt." "Ooh!" "Oh, my goodness." "Whoa!" "Okay." "If you could be the princess in any country, what country would it be?" "I pick Monaco." "See, I always wanted to wear my crown with a bikini." "Donna, you're not listening to me!" "This is my life here." "Oh." "Sorry." "It's just-You know, today would've been my parents' anniversary." "But my mom's gone, my dad's with Joanne, and Casey's out of town." "So it just kind of sucks." "You know what you need?" "A littleJackie magic." " I am gonna dedicate my whole day to you." " Oh, like you did last month... when I had to hold your corn dog and guard the van while you and Kelso did it at the 4-H Fair?" "Yeah." "Wasn't that fun?" "Man, I can't wait to see this big bucket of oatmeal landing on Kelso's... big bucket of a head." "Well, good gracious, who's all this oatmeal for?" "Uh, it's for the oatmeal drive... for the Needy Oatmeal Lovers of America." "Right, the N.O.L.O.A." "Oh, oh, this tastes awful." "You know,just because they're hoboes doesn't mean they don't respond to herbs and spices." "You know what?" "That's a good point, Mom... but you better leave, 'cause we don't like to do our charity work in front of other people." "Oh, now, don't be silly." "I'll help you." "Where'd I put my brown sugar?" "Oh, I'm right here, honey buns." "Okay." "I'm here for our slumber party." "Wow." "When you said you were gonna dedicate your whole day to me..." "I figured that meant only until we left The Hub." "No." "I promised you 2 4 hours ofJackie time... which is equal to seven days of an ugly person's time." "Well, it's just, I'm in the middle of this really good book." "Donna, books are for prisoners." "Now, I brought tons of activities." "First, some makeup for your long-overdue facial overhaul." "The greatest board game ever..." "Mystery Date." "And-Wait." "Best of all... my stuffed animals so we can perform... an all-unicorn rendition of Grease." "This is perfect." "We are so gonna nail Kelso." "I still say we should have shaved his privates." "That's a burn that keeps on burnin'." " Kelso's on his way." " Okay, gentlemen." "Take your positions." "Okay." "I'm here." " Where's the dead bird?" " Kelso, you're supposed to come in through the side door." " What?" " Eric, I need you to take out the" "You guys are so dead." "What the hell is this?" "Eric did it because he hates you." "Hyde!" "Forman, every man for himself." "No, uh, Dad, this was just a prank that's gone wrong- horribly, horribly wrong." "Well, I've got a prank too- one where my foot doesn't plow through your ass." "Let's hope it doesn't go horribly, horribly wrong!" "Oh, Red." "What happened to you?" "That oatmeal was for the hoboes." "Well, the idiots used it for a prank." "Eric, how many times have I told you, don't poke the bear." "Don't poke the bear!" "Well, technically, we didn't poke the bear." "We pour oatmeal on the bear." " Are you correcting my wife?" " Kelso's laughing at you." "Are you laughing?" "Oh, come on." "You're covered in oatmeal!" "It's funny!" " That's it!" " Oh, oh, you know what you should do, Red?" "Forgive and forget." "Turn the other cheek, likeJesus." "Be likeJesus, Red." "I can't even think of a punishment big enough for this!" "But trust me, it's going to be awful- the kind of thing that Harry Truman might order to end a war!" "Guys, who's Harry Truman?" "He invented electricity, dumb-ass." "Okay, Donna." "It's makeover time." "Let's pack those jumbo pores." "Um, you know what?" "I've thought about it, and I'm glad my mom left." "More food for me." " Oh, come on." "It'll be fun." " I doubt it." "Unless" "You were right, Donna." "Now, not only are we beautifying... but we're "groovifying."" "Hey, I just made up a word." "Yeah." "Who ever said you can't do two great things at once?" "I bet it was a one-armed, pessimistic guy." "Yeah, you just gotta stay positive, man." "Like, I don't want to learn French... so everyday I think positive thoughts about not learning French." "And look at me." "I don't know a word of French." "Is Dad still gonna kill me?" "Eric, I put him in his Corvette... tuned the radio to a hockey game and handed him a beer." "I've done all I can." "( Man On Radio, Indistinct )" " Dad" " All right." "Just tell me." "What the hell did you think you were doing?" "Look, Kelso invented this stupid Prank Day thing... and he superglued us, so the oatmeal thing... was just to, you know, get him back." "And that's when my life as I know it ended." "Are you telling me, I got covered with oatmeal... because you were trying to get back at Kelso... which you didn't even do?" "Well, that's a bit of an oversimplification." " I think if you look at the facts" " You- ( Sighs )" "The facts are, you were bested by a Kelso." "How could you do this to your family?" "I didn't realize the honor of our family was at stake." "It always is." "Hell, we've been talking about this since T-ball... which you quit." "I mean, what was there to be scared of?" "The ball just sits there." "All right." "Here's what I'm gonna do." "Instead of punishing you, I'm gonna show you how to do this prank business right." "Now, get the Three Stooges over to dinner tonight." "You are going to help me get them good and scared." " Oh, well, no, Dad." "I don't wanna get Hyde and Fez." " ( Opens Door )" " They're on my team." " Well, your team lost." "So everybody cries." "Well, hope you boys like lasagna." "Oh, boy, lasagna- the Italian burrito." "Thanks for havin' us over, Mrs. Forman." "Oh, don't thank me." "It was Red's idea." " Wait a minute." "Red's coming?" " Uh, yeah." "I can't believe you guys showed up." "Wait." "No." "The only reason we showed up was 'cause you said Red was workin' late tonight." "Oh, God, you know what?" "He's in the kitchen." "Should I just get him?" "No, you should not get him, you son of a bitch." " I'm goin' out the window." " Guys, calm down." "Look, what could he possibly do to us at dinner?" "Ah, good." "All the half-wits are here." "I wanted to let you know... that I'm going to get you... and you won't know where, and you won't know when." "But... it will hurt." "And you will cry, and I will laugh, and" "Did I mention it will hurt?" "Very good." "Now, enjoy the lasagna." "I added the special seasoning myself." "Special seasoning?" "Uh-oh." "All right." "Maybe it's because I'm extra clever... but I think that there might be somethin' wrong with the lasagna... and I think maybe Red had somethin' to do with it." "Kelso..." "I wouldn't do anything to the lasagna... just like I wouldn't do anything to your new sneakers that are sitting by the kitchen door." "My Chucks!" "Why isn't anybody eating?" "Is there something wrong with my lasagna?" "We have reason to believe it's been tampered with." "Is this another prank?" "Because I will not have this in my house." "Now eat that lasagna." "It's perfectly fine." "I said eat it!" "Mmm." "Dad, what is this special seasoning?" "Oh, a little of this, a little of that." "Which reminds me." "Kitty, I cleaned out the dead moths from the porch light." "If I could only remember where I put them." " Aw, bugs?" "Sick!" " I'm out of here." "( Chortles )" "Okay, Leo." "Who's your Mystery Date?" "All right." "The ski instructor." "He's hunky." "You know,Jackie, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually having a good time." "Wait." "Michael, what are you doing here?" "Yeah, man." "This is girls' night." "Jackie, I just had dinner with Red, and he totally freaked me out." "So, first I need you to stick your hand in my Chucks." "Then I need you to hang out with me, because I'm really afraid to be alone." " No." "No, Michael." "I am spending time with Donna." " Okay, but..." "I was gonna take you to the mall and tell everyone you were a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader." "Wait, wait." "You never want to do that." "Okay." "Let's go." "Huh." "I guess it's just you and me, Leo." "A whole pan of lasagna wasted... and it's a recession." " Kitty, you don't understand." " I understand that you need to start acting like a parent." "But we have different responsibilities as parents." "Your job is to tell him that he's cute and to clean his ears." "My job is to make him a man, which he's not." "Dad, I'm" "I'm right here." "Shut up, boy." "You see how he shuts up?" "That's not right." "I give up." " Wow, she seems mad." " Ah, she'll burn it off on her Exercycle." " We really did freak out those guys tonight, huh?" " Hmm!" "Now, it's time to go after Kelso- the head dummy." "And we're gonna have the junior dummies help us out." "You know what?" "We make a good team." "It's like I'm Batman, and you're- Er" " No." "You're-You're Batman." "Hey, Donna?" "Wait." "Where's Leo?" "Oh, he left." "He asked if he could try on my dad's clothes, and I said no, so he left." "What?" "He left?" "That jerk." "What a bad friend." "( Chuckles ) Jackie, you left too." "( Groans ) I know, I know." "Look, that's why I'm here." "( Sighs ) I was at the mall signing autographs for a bunch of sixth graders." "You know, "Go, Cowboys." "Love,Jackie."" "And then I saw this little girl crying... 'cause she couldn't find her mom... and she reminded me of you, so I felt bad." "Jackie, that's so sweet." "So what happened with the little girl?" " She find her mom?" " You know what?" "I don't know." "I left her with the snow-cone guy." "Yeah." "She smelled like poo." "Look, anyways, my point is... you know, since you don't have your mom around anymore... you need a girl in your life to look after you, and that's gonna be me." "( Chuckles )" " Unless I smell like poo." " Right." "So when Kelso gets here, he'll walk by the driveway- which we've iced down with the hose- and he'll see a nudie magazine lying there- which is perfect for Kelso, because he can never resist a boob." " Well, who among us can?" " Right." "So, he'll sprint towards it, slip on the ice and slide into a giant pile of mud." "Get ready." "I hear footsteps." " What are we lookin' at?" " Kelso?" "Wait, wait." "If you're here, then who is in the driveway?" " ( Kitty Screams, Sobs )" " Oh, crap!" "Well, the driveway was all icy, and I fell." "I think I heard a pop." " Mrs. Forman, we are so sorry." " Mom, are you okay?" " Okay." "Fez, grab her legs." " ( Yelps )" "Get away from her!" "Eric, you're grounded for a week." "But this prank was your idea!" " Fine." "Two weeks!" " Wha" "And the rest of you, get the hell outta here." "Go on now." "Well, this was another prank?" "See what happens when you act like a jackass?" "Kitty, I am so sorry... and I promise:" "no more pranks, ever." "Okay." " So, we're done here." " Wait!" "You're not hurt." "You were faking it." "Oh, don't sound so surprised." "I fake things plenty." "( Laughs )" " Wait." "So you're not hurt at all?" " Nope." "Wow." "You out-pranked Dad." "No, no, no." "It wasn't a prank." "It was a lesson." "And yes, I did." "So, you're the best Forman." "You're Batman." "Now you know."

"You're thinking about New Christine?" "We're on a break, it's fine." "Besides I'm not talking about this with you." "Why?" "Because you're my ex-wife." "I'm also your friend." "You're not my friend." "Yeah, Christine, she was home." "She was home cooking another man dinner." "By the phone?" "Damn it!" "Why did I listen to you?" "We're not on a break." "We're broken up." "Richard... buddy... what can I do to make you feel better?" " Want to make me feel better?" " I do." "What do you want, pal?" "I want sex." "With who?" "You, pal." "So, anything interesting happening at school today?" "We're going to look at slides of skin cells under a real microscope." "What are you doing at med school?" "Oh, me and my lab partner, Larry, are building a ramp, we're going to jump my bike over it." "Hey, sweetie pie, daddy's going to be here any second." "Go get your stuff ready, okay?" " Okay, Mom." " Okay." "Mmm, ga..." "what are you guys eating?" "Ooh, that smells disgusting." "It's eggs." "You want some?" "Yeah, a little." " Hey." " Hey." "Hey, can you pick up Ritchie after school today?" "New Christine called and she wants to come over to talk." "Oh, yeah?" "You think you guys are going to get back together?" "I don't know." "I hope so." "I hate being broken up." "It's so sad and lonely." "I feel like such a loser." "I don't know how you do it." "Just takes a little courage." "Oh, by the way, Matthew..." "we're out of courage." "Hey, Dad." "Hey, there he is." "You ready for school?" "Yeah." "We're gonna look at skin cells under a microscope." "At my job, we hid a bunch of barbeque ribs in the wall, we're going to freak out the electrician." "Cool." "Come on." "Hey, good luck with New Christine." " Bye, lovey-dovey." " Bye, Mom." "So, what's the deal with you and Richard?" "What deal?" "We're fine." "You slept together a week ago." "So?" "So, it should be awkward." "You should be stuttering and sweating and avoiding eye contact." "Why?" "It's just sex." "You're in, you're out." "It's a simple transaction." "God, it's like you're buying a sofa." "A filthy, used sofa." "You know what, it doesn't count with me and Richard, 'cause we were married, and we weren't involved with anyone else at the time." "It's a victimless crime." "No consequences." "No, sex always has consequences." "Either someone falls in love, or someone gets hurt, or someone convinces themself there was more there than there really was." " Oh, she didn't call you yet, huh?" " No!" "And I left her a thousand messages." "Can you get these dishes away?" "This... oh, God, this stuff stinks." "What's going on with you, huh?" "I don't know." "My sense of smell is really heightened lately." "I haven't been this sensitive since I was pregnant." "Consequences?" "You've got to be freakin' kidding me." "I cannot be pregnant." "I'm only two pounds away from losing the baby-weight from Ritchie." "I need one of those early detection tests." "Do you see one of those?" "Well, I'm seeing a whole lot of creams and... hey, look, a douche bag's a real thing." "No, I need one of those tests you can take before you missed your period." "Wait, you're not even late?" "What are we doing here?" "And how did my calendar get off?" "I don't have to be late, okay?" "I know my body and it's telling me I'm pregnant:" "I'm sensitive to smells, I'm exhausted, and do you have any idea what my boobs feel like?" "I wish I could say no." "Hey, I got your message." "Came as soon as I could." "What?" "I didn't call you." "I did." "I'm sorry." "I need a break." "I mean, I've been there for you through your divorce, two juice fasts, "The Cleanse", the week when you thought Jon Stewart was calling you and hanging up." "Hey, it said "private caller,"" "and he's a very private man." " It's time to pass the torch." " So what's the problem?" "She thinks she's pregnant." "Her symptoms include:" "general swelling, fatigue, nausea," " heightened sense of smell." " Tell her about my nipples." "And if you need me, I'll be in the assisted suicide aisle." "Oh, God, Barb, I don't know what I'm going to do." "I didn't plan on having another baby." "I was finally getting my life back." "Were you?" "No." "Look, before you go crazy, why don't you take a test and find out if you're pregnant?" "No, I can't take it yet." "Even with these early detection tests, you have to wait a couple of days." "And I just hate not knowing." "I'm going to have to tell Richard." "Why don't you wait until you know for sure?" "Because this is torture." "Why does he get to go all about his dopey way, all satisfied and relaxed while I'm miserable, and flatulent and sober?" "And plus, you might be pregnant." "I don't see anything under that name." "Are you sure your doctor didn't send it to another pharmacy?" "Yes, I'm sure." "I've been coming here since I was like 11." "Where's the little Chinese guy who usually works here?" "Hey, Phon?" "Phon?" "His name is John." "And he's on break." "Well, find him." "It's my anti-anxiety medication." "You don't say." "Oh, great." "Oh, look who's here." "Oh, good, you work here now." "Could you find Phon?" "Wait, what is that?" "That's not a pregnancy test?" "Are you pregnant?" " Oh, well, I..." " Of course she's not pregnant." " That's impossible." " No, remember that woman on Oprah who gave birth to those twins when she was 60?" "And I got a Google Alert about a parrot who gave birth at 90." "Really?" "Well, actually, the pregnancy test is for me." "I don't know how it happened." "I was messing around with some married guy in this nice neighborhood..." "Where do you live again?" " Vista Heights." " Vista Heights." " Yeah." " Yeah, that was it." "And the strangest thing, there was a picture of some chick, looked just like... you." "No, wait, um, maybe it was you." "Hmm." "Oh, well." "Wish me luck." " Yeah, good luck." " Good luck." " Thank you for that." " My pleasure." "I can't believe this is happening." "I missed you so much." "Being apart from you made me realize" "I don't care if you're not ready to get married." "I just want to be with you." "Everything else can wait." "I hate being away from you." "Me, too." "It's awful out there." "Dating is a nightmare." "Dating?" "You were dating?" "Yeah, I told you that." "You said one date." "I don't think so." "So what do you want to do to celebrate?" "Should we go out to dinner?" "Sure." "Anything." "So, how many dates?" "Like, two?" "Well, two and a three-day weekend." "Which I guess is five." "Or three, if you count the weekend as one." "There was a weekend?" "Well, it turned into a weekend." "Sweetie, it doesn't matter." "I'm here, with you, right now." "You're right." "That's all that matters." "Oh, my God, Ron, we're back together." "What?" "!" "I'm going to get some champagne." "Ron?" "Okay, Richard." "We've got to talk." "Now, I have something to tell you and you're probably going to freak out but I just want you to listen before you say anything because this is huge." "Who's Ron?" "Okay, so, this morning, I was feeling a little weird," " I went to the drug store..." " Oh, look who it is." "Richard." " What?" " You called me Ron." "I don't think so." "Hi, Christine." "Hi." "Wha... uh, what, what is she doing here?" "We're back together." "Isn't it great?" "I just couldn't handle being out there again." "Some guy trying to impress you." ""Here's my giant house." "Here's my fancy car."" ""We're already in Nevada, we might as well make it a weekend."" "We're together now, though." "So... what's the big news?" "It's... nothing, really." "Come on, you said you had huge news." "No, it's, it's no big deal, it's just..." "Yeah, maybe a little." "What?" "No, no." "Pay attention." "You and me..." "Well, I'm flattered, but I told you we're back together." "Christine, would you like some champagne?" "No, I can't." "Even though I love champagne." "And I'm not on antibiotics right now." "I can't." "Oh, g..." "I'm getting out of here." "What was that all about?" "Christine feels fat." "Yeah, maybe a little." "Oh, my boobs are about to explode." "And... good day to you." "Matthew, did you open this pregnancy test?" "One of the sticks is missing." "Oh, yeah, yeah, I wanted to try it." "Oh, and by the way, you don't use it like a thermometer." "All right, listen, Matthew, you know," "I am going through kind of a thing here, and I could really use a little support." "I'm sorry;" "I'm sure it'll be fine." "You might not even be pregnant." "Yeah, well, I better be pregnant, 'cause I just felt something kick." "I'll go boil the water and get some hot rags." " Hey." " Oh, Daniel." "I hope it's okay that I just dropped by." "Can I come in?" "Oh, yeah, sure, come on in." "Sorry, uh, this place is kind of a mess." "If I'd known you were coming I probably would have... moved." "So listen, I got some good news." "Oh, great, I could use some good news." "I got a job offer at another school." "Which means I won't be your son's teacher anymore." "Which means, if you're still interested," "I would love to go out with you." "Oh, come on!" "So, great news, huh?" "You and I can finally go out." "And I was thinking for our first date, we can go to this Italian place I know." "And I know you like pizza, 'cause I saw some on your floor over there." "So what do you think about us?" "Uh, I'm not really sure what I'm doing right now, so can I get back to you?" "Oh, okay." "Can I ask, is there someone else?" "That's the question we're all asking." "Okay." "I feel like an idiot." "I came over here assuming you felt the same way about me as I feel about you." "But obviously, something's changed." "I've just had a really bad day that could turn into several really bad years and I just need a little bit of time to figure things out." "Can you give me a little time?" " Sure." " Okay." "Yeah." "Great." "Well, I'll call you tomorrow." "Or in, uh, 18 years." "Are you believing this?" "I mean, my timing could not be worse." "I am days away from giving birth, and the man of my dreams comes over and practically throws himself at me." "You know, no one ever talks about it, but I guess there is a downside to having unprotected sex." "Barb, what am I gonna do?" "I mean, I've been waiting all year to be with him, and being pregnant isn't exactly a turn-on for most guys." "Oh." "Hey, wait." "What if I sleep with Daniel real fast and then I tell him that the baby is his?" "!" "Really?" "You..." "You can't think of a single problem with that plan?" "Are you wearing your pregnancy jeans?" "I actually never stopped wearing them." "You're pregnant?" "!" "You just figured that out?" "You're terrible at charades." "I am great at charades." "Shakespeare." "Musical." "Proper name." "I think you got me pregnant, you irresponsible goon." "Hey, it's not all my fault." "You were right there with me." "Actually, I was about ten minutes behind you." "That's nice, mother of my children." " Yeah, you know what?" " Guys, guys." "We don't even know if she's pregnant yet." "Let's just take the test, and we'll figure it out from there." "You haven't even taken the test yet?" "What are you doing to me?" "!" "I can't take it yet, Richard, okay?" "I have to wait for my first morning's urine." "But I know my body, all right?" "I had two Reubens today." "What does that tell you?" " You're a pig." " Oh, nice." "Real nice, father of my children." "I'm sorry." "Okay." "I'm not mad at you." "I just can't believe this." "New Christine and I just got back together." "If you're pregnant, she's probably gonna find out we slept together." "Yeah, well, if I can't convince Daniel that this baby is his," "I have no shot with him!" "You two shouldn't be allowed to have children." "I can't believe I traded a meaningful relationship with someone I love for 20 minutes of dirty fun with you." "Yeah, well, how do you think I feel?" "I traded it for 10 minutes of dirty fun." "So we can't find out until tomorrow morning?" "What are we gonna do until then?" "I don't know." "Something mindless." "Something that'll distract us." "Hey!" "Stop that!" "You get off her!" "See?" "This is good." "We're out of the house." "We can think about something else." "So, the first morning's urine... is that after midnight or do you have to wait until morning?" "I don't know." "I think the sun has to be up." "That doesn't make any sense." "What if you work a night job?" "All right, I don't know, Richard, okay?" "I don't make the rules!" " Well, I just..." " Guys, guys." "We said we weren't gonna talk about it." " Okay, sorry." " Sorry." "Hey." "I found that cat I thought I lost." "It was under the bed." "Not my bed, the guest bed." "It's the only room with carpet." "Cats love carpet." "And milk." "What else do cats like?" "Let's go around the table." "Oh, I can't believe I might be pregnant!" "Yeah, we're so stupid!" "Oh, God, I thought I was done with this." "Now I got to worry about 3:00 a.m. feedings and changing diapers." "We finally had our lives separate, in a good way." "Then we go and screw it up." " We screw everything up." " I know." "We are such screwups." "Why does this keep happening to us?" "Hey, what the hell is wrong with you two?" "So you might be having another kid." "Big deal." "Making babies is the only thing that you two do well." "Now, let's focus and come up with some things that cats like." "Christine, you all right up there?" "Stop talking to me." "I can't go when people are talking to me." "Or listening to me." "We're not." "You're talking to me!" "Shut up and pee." "This is torture." "Just calm down." "You'll know in a minute." "Actually, I kind of hope Christine has a baby." "I think it might be fun." "That's easy for you to say;" "you don't have to live here." "All the late nights, crying and screaming-- the baby's only gonna make that worse." "Okay, I did it." "And it's only wet because I washed my hands." "Is that true?" "No." " So what is it?" " I don't know." "I haven't looked yet." "But, listen, no matter what happens, we're gonna be fine, right?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "Yeah, we did it before, we can do it again." "We're just a little older." "Yeah." "When the baby graduates high school, we'll be..." "Dead." "Just trying to lighten the mood." "Come on, come on, look." "Okay, here goes." "I'm pregnant." "Wow." "Okay." " We're gonna be parents again." " Yeah." " Good." " Good." "This is good." "Yeah, we'll co-parent from different houses." "It worked with Ritchie, it'll work for the twins." "No..." "I know my body." "It's twins." "This is gonna be great." " Wait, there's only one line." " Yeah, pregnant." "Well, when I took it, I got one line, too." "So, I mean, either we're both pregnant... or you're wrong." "Wait a minute." "One line..." "oh, "not pregnant." I'm not pregnant!" " Oh, thank God!" " Thank God!" "Oh, my God!" "I mean, it would've been okay either way, but..." "Oh, thank God!" "Oh, wow!" "I guess I just had really bad PMS." " Really bad." " Historically bad." " I've never seen it that bad." " All right." "All right, you know what?" "Get out." "You're all bugging me." "I'm gonna go over to New Christine's, but first, I'm gonna stop and buy some condoms." "Eh, she's probably on something." "Oh, I got to go, too." "Where?" "It's 7:00 in the morning." "There's something I have to do." "So, after we added a room onto the guest house, we realized it was bigger than our main house." "So now we're just moving into the guest house." "What are you gonna do with the main house?" "You mean the house in Maine?" "I didn't know you had a house in Maine." "Well, I don't tell you everything." "Ah, look what the cat dragged in." "If my cat dragged that in, I'd put them both to sleep." "Screw... you." "Morning." "Mrs. Campbell." "What are you doing here?" "Well, um..." "I've been thinking about our date." "In fact, it's all I've been thinking about for the last six months." "And if you still want to go out with me, I would..." "I would very much like to go out with you." "Really?" "Oh, yeah." "How 'bout that?" "Pretty good, huh?" "Yeah." "Really good." "Should we ask them what they thought?" "So, um, Mr. Harris, you just, you let me know what you would like to do then." "And, um... everyone..." "you have a super summer." "Yeah." "Can't... get out of here."

"Here's my day so far:" "went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams, and got my butt kicked pretty good." "Still, things could be a lot worse." "Oh, that's right." "I'm falling to my death." "Guess they can't." "How'd it all come to this, you ask?" "My end starts at the beginning." "The very beginning." "Yes, that's me." "I had a fairly standard childhood." "I came from, what you might call, a broken home." "Literally broken." "I was eight days old and still living with my parents." "How sad is that?" "Clearly it was time to move on." "Here is your minion." "He will take care of you." "And here is your binky." "You are destined for..." "I didn't quite hear that last part, but it sounded important." " ...two, one." " Destined for what?" "I set out to find my destiny." "Turns out a kid from the Glaupunkt quadrant had the exact same idea." "That was the day I met Mr. Goody Two-Shoes and our glorious rivalry was born." "Could this be what I was destined for?" "A dream life filled with luxury." "Apparently not." "Even fate picks its favorites." "No big deal." "A much different fate awaited me." "A baby!" "How thoughtful." "Oh, yes." "Yes, I saw it and thought of you." "Luckily I found a lovely little place to call home." "Can we keep it?" "A place that taught me the differences between right and wrong." "Mr. Goody Two-Shoes, on the other hand, had life handed to him on a silver platter." "Our baby can fly." "Yes, yes, nothing but the best for you, darling." "The power of flight, invulnerability, and great hair." "But I had something far, far greater." "My amazing intellect and knack for building objects of mayhem." "After a few years, and with some time off for good behavior," "I was given an opportunity to better myself through learning at a strange place called shool." "It was there that I once again ran into Mr. Goody Two-Shoes." "He had already amassed a gigantic army of soft-headed groupies." "He bought their affections with showmanship and extravagant gifts of deliciousness." "So I, too, will make this popp-ed corn and win over those mindless drones." "Lights out." "That's when I learned a very hard lesson:" "Good receives all the praise and adulation, while evil is sent to quiet-time in the corner." "So fitting in wasn't really an option." "While they were learning the Itsy Bitsy Spider I learned how to dehydrate animate objects and rehydrate them at will." "Some days, it felt like it was just me and Minion against the world." "No matter how hard I tried," "I was always the odd man out, the last one picked, the screw-up, the black sheep..." "Get him!" " ...the bad boy." " Freak!" "Weirdo!" "Was this my destiny?" "Wait, maybe it was." "Being bad is the one thing I'm good at." "Then it hit me:" "If I was the bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all." "I was destined to be a super-villain, and we were destined to be rivals." "The die had been cast, and so began an enduring, epic, lifelong career." "And I loved it." "Our battles quickly got more elaborate." "He would win some." "I would almost win others." "He took the name Metro Man, defender of Metrocity." "I decided to pick something a little more humble:" "Megamind incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy." "Read on your own time." "Open up." " Hey!" " Boo!" "Oh, good morning, Warden." "Great news:" "I'm a changed man, and and I'm ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen." "You're a villain, and you'll always be a villain." "You'll never change, and you'll never leave." "You're fun." "You got a present in the mail." "Is it a puppy?" "From Metro Man. "To count every second of your 85 life sentences."" "That's funny." "Never thought Metro Man was the gloating type." "Oh, but he does have nice taste." "I think I'll keep it." "Any chance you could give me the time?" "I don't want to be late for the opening of the Metro Man Museum." "Oh no." "Looks like you're gonna miss it, by several thousand years." "Oh, am I?" "Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City." "It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honor a beautiful man, Metro Man." "His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean." "For years he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart." "Now it's our turn to give something back." "This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum." "Wow." "OK, the stuff they make you read on-air, that's un-freaking-believable." "It's crazy." "I wrote that piece myself, Hal." "What I was trying to say was," "I can't believe that in our modern society, they let, Iike, actual art get onto the news." " Nice save, Hal." " What are we..." "Like, Iet's just get a coffee or something." "Come on, it's time to get in the Metro Man Day spirit." "Well, if I were Metro Man," "Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time." " That's the first thing." " That's sweet, Hal." "And I'd be watching you, Iike a dingo watches a human baby." "OK, that sounded..." " OK, that sounded a Iittle weird." " A little bit." "Yeah." "And you're making a weird face, and that's making me feel weird." "The point is, I would watch you Iike someone..." "Not love." "We're not in love." "I'm not saying I Iove you." "Hey, I Iove you." "Whatever." "But I'm not saying like I'm in love with you." "I'm saying..." "Roxanne?" "Roxaroo?" " Whoa..." "What?" " Hey..." "Get back to work." "The city doesn't pay you to loaf." " Freeze!" " Whoa." "What are you doing, guys?" "It's me!" "It's the warden." "Hey!" "Open up!" "No, you fools." "He's tricked us." "You were right." "I'll always be a villain." "Well, hello good-Iooking." "Need a lift?" "Certainly do, you fantastic fish, you." " Get in the car, you." " I'm free!" "Right?" "Nice work sending me the watch, Minion." " You got it, boss." " Punch it!" "AII right, put your hands in the air." "Ladies and gentlemen, your Metro Man!" " Who's your man?" " Metro Man!" "Yeah, Metro City!" "Gimme some." "Come on." "Give it now." "Give it to me." "Right on." "Gimme the good stuff." "AII right." "Hey, Metro City." "Hey." "Hey." "You know, you know, I just want to bring it down a bit." "Boys, a Iittle lower." "Thank you, fellas." "Let's get real for a moment." "That's right." "That's right." "That's right." "Although getting a whole museum is super-cool, is super-cool, you want to know what the greatest honor you've given me is?" "Do you really want to know?" "Really?" "I'll tell you." "The greatest honor you've given me is letting me serve you, the helpless people of Metro City." "And at the end of every day, well, I often ask myself who would I be without you?" " I Iove you, Metro Man!" " And I Iove you, random citizen." "I tell you, Minion." "There's no place like evil lair." "I've kept it cold and damp just for you, sir." "How do I Iook, Minion?" "Do I Iook bad?" "Disgustingly horrifying, sir." "You always know what to say." "Oh, the brain-bots certainly missed you, sir." "Did you miss your daddy?" "Who's a menacing little cyborg?" "You are." "Yes, you are." "No biting." "No, no, no, no, no, no." "You want the wrench?" "Go get the wrench." " Oh, look at that." " Now, back to laughing." "She's awake." "Quick, to work." "Miss Ritchi, we meet again." "Would it kill you to wash the bag?" "You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi." "I'm afraid no one can hear you." "Wh..." "Why isn't she screaming?" "Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind?" "Like this..." "But that's, that's a poor lady scream." "He's a Iittle better." "Is there some kind of nerdy super-villain Web site where you get Tesla coils and blinky dials?" "Actually, most of it comes from an outlet store in..." "Don't answer that." " Romania." " Don't!" "Stop!" "She's using her nosy reporter skills on your weak-willed mind to find out all our secrets." "Such tricks won't work on me..." " Please talk slower." " ...temptress." "What secrets?" "You're so predictable." "Predictable?" "Predictable?" "Oh, you call this predictable?" "Your alligators." "Yes." "Yeah, I was thinking about it on the way over." "What's this?" "Boom!" "In your face." " Cliché." " No!" "Look, watch." " Juvenile." " Shock and awe." " Tacky." " Oh, it's so scary!" " Seen it." " What's this one do?" "Garish." " OK, the spider's new." " Spider?" "Yes." "The..." "The spee-ider." "Even the smallest bite from Arachnis deathicus will instantly paralyze..." "Get it off!" "It bit me!" "Give it up, Megamind." "Your plans never work." "Let's stop wasting time and call your boyfriend in tights, shall we?" "It is with great pleasure that I present to Metro Man his new museum." "If you please." " Metro Man!" " Hey!" "My kid can't see." " Megamind!" " Oh, bravo, Metro Man." "Boo!" "Yes, I can play along too." "Boo!" "Should've known you'd try to crash the party." "Oh, I intend to do more than crash it." "This is a day you and Metrocity shall not soon forget." "It's pronounced Metro City!" "Potato-tomato, potato-tomato." "We all know how this ends:" "with you behind bars." "I'm shaking in my custom baby seal leather boots." "You will leave Metrocity, or this will be the last you ever hear of Roxanne Ritchi." "Roxanne!" "Don't panic, Roxie." " I'm on my way." " Yeah, I'm not panicking." "In order to stop me, you need to find me first, Metro Man." "We're at the abandoned observatory." "No, we're not!" "Don't listen to her." "She's crazy." "Metro Man approaching, sir." "Hold on a second." "Oh, good heavens!" "You didn't think you were in the real observatory, did you?" "Ready the death ray, Minion." "Death ray, readying." "Over here, old friend." "In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap." "You can't trap justice." "It's an idea, a belief." "Even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time." "Justice is a non-corrosive metal." "But metals can be melted by the heat of revange." "It's "revenge," and it's best served cold." "But it can be easily reheated in the microwave of evil." "Well, I think your warranty is about to expire." "Maybe I got an extended warranty." "Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for its intended purpose." "Oh, girls, girls, you're both pretty." "Can I go home now?" "Of course." "That is, if Metro Man can withstand the full, concentrated power of the sun!" "Fire!" "Minion." "Fire?" " It's still warming up, sir." " Come again?" " Warming up, sir." " Warming up?" "The sun is warming up?" "One second more and just tippy-tappy tippy-tap-tap, tip-top more," " and we are ready in just..." " Honestly!" "On my way, Roxie." "I told you to have things ready." "I told you countless times." "Why do you always blame me?" "My spider bite is acting up." "Your plan is failing." "Just admit it." "Yeah, good luck with that one." "Whose side are you on?" " The losing side." " Thank you." "Could someone stamp my Frequent Kidnapping Card?" "You of all people know we discontinued that promotion." " Ciao-ciao, all!" " Same time next week?" "Dag!" "Crab nuggets!" " What did he just say?" " "Crab nuggets"?" "Fackled fish cracker!" "Ten seconds to full power." " Good lord, I'm trapped." " Ten..." " What kind of trickery is this?" " ...nine..." " You mad genius." " ...eight..." " Your dark gift has finally paid off." " ...seven..." " It..." "It has?" " ...six..." "This dome is obviously lined with copper." " Yeah?" "So?" " Sir..." " Copper drains my powers." " ...two..." " Your weakness is copper?" " ...one." " You're kidding, right?" " Full power." "I don't think even he could survive that." "Well, Iet's not get our hopes up just yet." " Look!" " Metro Man!" "Metro Man." "Metro Man!" " You..." "You did it, sir." " I did it?" "He did it." " I did it?" " He did it." " You did it, sir." " I did it!" " You did it!" " I did it!" "Metrocity is mine!" " You did it, sir!" " I did it!" "Yeah, me, me!" " Yes, I did it!" " Us!" "We both did it!" " Not us!" "I!" " You, a Iittle more" " than me but still, come on!" " A Iot more than you." "When they're giving out the awards," " I'm gonna be right there next to you." " What awards?" "What awards, for what?" "Hit it!" "Drop 'em!" "First off, what a turnout." "How wild is this?" "AII I did was eliminate the most powerful man in the universe." "Are there any questions?" "Go on." "Yes!" "You in the back." "I'm sure we'd all like to know what you plan to do with us and this city." "Good, I'm glad you asked that." "Imagine the most horrible, terrifying, evil thing you can possibly think of, and multiply it... by six!" "In the meantime," "I want you to carry on with the dreary, normal things you normal people do." "Let's just have fun with this." "Come on." "And I will get back to you." "Now slam the door really hard." "They..." "They can still see you." " Now?" " Your elbow's still in." "Good." "There he is, Mr. Evil Overlord" "Oh, Minion, did you think this day would ever come?" "No way." "Not at all, sir." "Never." "Never in a million..." "I mean..." " Yes, I did." " Look at the intricate mouldings." "I'm looking." "I'm looking." "And what's this?" "It's like one of the giant monitors in the lair." "But it seems to only carry one station." "Oh, that, sir, is called a window." " Window?" " AII the kids are looking through them." "I've never had a view before." "Metrocity, Minion, it's all mine." "If my parents could see me now." "Sir, I'm sure they're smiling down from evil heaven." "And now that Mr. Goody Two-Shoes is out of the way," "I can have everything I want, and there's no one to stop me!" "I know." "I know." "Always thirsty, never satisfied." "I understand you, little well-dressed bird." "Purposeless, emptiness." "It's a vacuum, isn't it?" "It's..." "What's your vacuum like?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Not now, Minion." "I'm in a heated, existential discussion with this dead-eyed, plastic desk toy." "Is..." "Is something wrong, sir?" "Just think about it." "We have it all." "Yet, we have nothing." "It's just too easy now." "I'm sorry, you've lost me, sir." "I mean, we did it, right?" "Well, you did it, sir." "Yes, you've made that perfectly clear." "Then why do I feel so... mel-on-choly." ""Mel-on-choly"?" " Unhappy." " Well..." "What if tomorrow, we could go kidnap Roxanne Ritchi." "That always seems to lift your spirits." "Good idea, Minion." "But without him, what's the point?" " "Him," sir?" " Nothing." "OK, all right." "We'll just..." "that's something to consider and..." "Well, I think I'll just power down for a while then." "He was always there for us." "Dependable." "Perhaps we took him for granted." "You know, maybe, we never really know how good we have it until it's gone." "We miss you, Metro Man." "I miss you." "And I have just one question for Megamind:" "Are you happy now?" "This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting from a city without a hero." "Coming up next, are you ready to be a slave army?" "What you need to know." "And... wrap that up and give it to a child on Christmas," " 'cause we're done." " OK." "See you tomorrow, Hal." "Wait." "Roxie, I'm having a party at my house." "It's gonna be, Iike, off the hook, or whatever." "You should come over." "I got a deejay, rented a bouncy house, made a gallon of dip." "It's gonna be sick." "Oh." "I..." "I don't know, Hal." "I don't really feel like being around a bunch of people." "No, no, no, that's the best part." "It'll just be like you and me." "Wow." "That... that's certainly very tempting, but..." "I did hire a wedding photographer." "That's just in case we were like, something crazy happened and we wanted a picture of it." "Like, maybe we should have this for, Iike, ever." "Like a memory, you know?" "I'm gonna pass." "I have some work here that I need to do, anyway." "Cool." "So Thursday?" "Soft Thursday?" " Good night, Hal." " That's a soft yes on Thursday." "What's wrong with me?" "Rented a bouncy house?" "Chicks don't like bouncy houses." "They like clowns." "Stupid van!" "You broke my finger!" "I've made a horrible mistake." "I didn't mean to destroy you." "I mean, I meant to destroy you, but I didn't think it would really work." "What are we supposed to do?" "Without you, evil is running rampant through the streets." "I'm so tired of running rampant through the streets." "What's the point of being bad when there's no good to try and stop you?" "Someone has to stop Megamind." " Hey, we're closing soon." " You scared me." " Barry, right?" " Bernard." "Bernard." "I was just..." "Well, I was talking to myself." "You probably think I'm a Iittle bit nuts." "I'm not allowed to insult guests directly." "Thank you." "Just..." "Bernard, I'll just be another minute." "OK." "Thanks." "I had so many evil plans in the works." "The illiteracy beam." "Typhoon cheese." "Robo-sheep." "Battles we will now never have." "You know, I never had the chance to say goodbye." "So it's good that we have this time now." "You know, before I destroy the place." "Nothing personal, it just brings back too many painful memories." "Hello?" " Hello?" " Roxanne." " That's a pretty tasteless costume." " Costume?" "Megamind's head is not that grossly exaggerated." "And you even made a cheap replica of his dehydration gun." "How..." "Hello?" "Is someone there?" "Hello?" "Who's there?" "It's just you, Bernard." "Yes." "It's just me." "Bernard." "Well, thank you for letting me stay." "Look, I wouldn't stay here for more than two minutes and 37 seconds if I were you." "We're having the walls and ceiling removed." "Wow, that sounds like quite the renovation." "I guess I'll catch a ride down with you then." "I kept thinking he was gonna do one of his Iast-minute escapes." "Yeah." "He was really good at those." "Oh, if only the world had a reset button." "I've looked into the reset button." "The science is impossible." "Oh, Bernard..." "I didn't know you had... feelings." "Are you OK?" "Metro Man's gone." "And now there's no one left to challenge Megamind." "Oh, come on, Bernard." "As long as there's evil, good will rise up against it." "Oh, I wish." "I believe someone is gonna stand up to Megamind." " You really think so?" " Yeah." "I mean, it's like they say," ""Heroes aren't born, they're made."" "Heroes can be made." "That's it!" "AII you need are the right ingredients." " Yeah." "Bravery." " Yes." " Strength." " Of course." " Determination." " Imperative!" "And a smidgen of DNA." "Oh, with that, anyone can be a hero!" "Yeah!" "I think we should run!" "Bye!" "Time to put the past behind us." "Only the future..." "I'm too close!" "I'm genuinely scared right now." "I hope no one's seeing this!" "Create a hero?" "Wait, wait, what?" "Why would you do that?" "So I have someone to fight." "Minion, I'm a villain without a hero." "A yin with no yang." "A bullfighter with no bull to fight." "In other words, I have no purpose." "Now, ask me how I'm going to do it." "Go on!" "Ask!" "How are you gonna do it?" "I'm going to give someone..." "I don't know who yet..." "Metro Man's powers." "I'm going to train that someone to become Metrocity's new hero." "Over here!" "Follow!" "And then finally, I'm going to fight that hero in an epic battle of good and evil." "Which will put everything back the way it was when the world was perfect and rosy." "Behold, Minion, Metro Man's cape." "Look closely." "Tell me what you see." " Dandruff?" " Yes." "It's his DNA." "From this, we'll extract the source of Metro Man's awesome power." "Sir, I think this is a bad idea." "Yes!" "This is a very wickedly bad idea for the greater good of man." "But I'm saying this is a kind of bad that OK, you might think is good in your bad perception, but from a good perception it..." "it's just plain bad." "Oh, you don't know what's good for bad." "Now, we have just one shot at this." "We must find a suitable subject, someone of noble heart and mind." "Who puts the welfare of others above their own." "What on Earth is that?" "It seems to be emanating from there, sir." "OIIo." "It's "Hello."" "Hello?" "Like that?" " Bernard, it's Roxanne." " It's Roxanne." "I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me the other day." " Oh, you inspired me too." " Great!" "It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around." "Oh, really?" "She's so cute." "I'm already hot on his trail." " And what gives you that idea?" " Sir?" "I just found his secret hideout." "How did she find my hideout?" "!" "How did you find his hideout?" "This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof." "OK." "There's no way she'll find the secret entrance." "There's a doormat here that says "Secrit Entrance"!" " Minion!" " I kept forgetting where it was." "She'll discover all our secrets!" " Oh, no!" " You dim-witted creation of science!" " What?" " What?" "Oh, no, not you, Roxanne." "No, I was just yelling at my..." "mother's urn." "Don't do anything." "I'll be right there." "Roxanne?" "Oh no, not again!" "Roxanne?" "I'm glad you're here." "Wait, how did you get here so fast?" "Well, I..." "I happened to be speed walking nearby when you called." "In a suit?" "It's called... formal speed walking, but that's not important." "I better take the lead." "This way looks exciting." "No, it says "Exit."" "Which is the abbreviation for "exciting," right?" "This is the mother lode!" " Wow." "Just look at this thing." " Wow." "You know, I really could use your help in deciphering all this." " Really?" " You're an expert" " on all things Megamind, right?" " Yes." "Right." "Together, we could figure out his plan for the city and stop it." " Are you in?" " Oh, what fun!" "That's what I want to hear." "Minion, Code:" "Send In The Brain-bots." "You know, the whole point of a code is..." "Oh, Code:" "Just Do It, Minion." "Intruder!" "Intruder!" "Intruder!" " It's me, you fools!" " Bernard!" "It's Daddy!" "Megamind." " What have you done with Bernard?" " Oh, Bernard?" "Oh, yes." "I'm doing horrible things to that man." "I don't want to get into it, but lasers, spikes." "No, please!" "No!" "Not the lasers and the spikes!" " You know the drill." " Oh, no!" "Not the drill!" " Let him go or..." " Or what?" "Or I'm gonna find out what this weird-Iooking gun does." "No, don't shoot!" "Don't shoot that gun!" "I'll just go get him." " Unhand me, you fiend!" " Never!" "His strength's too much!" "Oh, I work out!" "Well, it's really paying off!" "You're so fit, and strangely charismatic." "Are you OK?" "I did my best, but he's too fantastic." "Here." "Let me carry that heavy gun for you." "I got us covered." " Let go." "It's mine!" " Bernard, run!" "Roxanne?" " You're going to break it!" " Give it to me!" "Oh, no!" "Roxanne?" "!" "Who on Earth is that?" " Help!" " Roxanne!" "Bernard!" "You were right about that door being exciting." " Intruder!" "Intruder!" " This way." "Intruder!" "Intruder!" "Intruder!" "What are you doing?" "This'll stop them." "Here!" "Seems a bit extreme, doesn't it?" " Just throw it!" " Daddy's sorry." " Wow." "That was really exciting." " Yeah." " You were very strong in there." " I know." "I've never seen anyone but Metro Man stand up to him like that." " What's going on?" " Hal, what happened?" "I think a bee flew up my nose." "I was just about to make my frontal assault to rescue you, but like 50 ninjas tried to attack me, so I had to beat 'em all up, and I did, and I..." "They were all, Iike, crying and stuff..." " Wow, a brave one, isn't he?" " Who are you?" "Oh, thi... this is Bernard." "He's my partner." " Partner?" " Yes." "Yes." "Partner." "Well, look, "partner," I'm her partner." "She doesn't know what she's saying." "She's been through a traumatic experience." "I'd better take him home." "Thanks again, Bernard." "I'll call you tomorrow, partner." "Yeah, OK." "I'd Iike that." "That was weird for everybody, 'cause you accidentally hugged him instead of me." "Sir?" "Sir!" "Code:" "Did You Find Out Who It Was?" "Code:" "Get The Car." "Code:" "Right Away, Sir." " Bye-bye!" " See you tomorrow, Hal." "I'll leave the door unlocked in case you want to check on me later." "Who is this man we've infused with godlike power?" "Well, sir, his name's Hal Stewart." "He's 28 years old." "No criminal record." "Actually no records at all." "Apparently this man hasn't accomplished anything." "Not yet, Minion." "Not... yet." "Could this day get anymore fun-tastic?" "So, I will just go ahead and diffuse him since this is clearly a mistake." "No, Minion!" "There's something much more powerful at work here." "This is no mistake." "It's destiny." "Hal Shtewart!" "Prepare for your destiny!" "Hal?" "Hal Shtewart?" " Hey!" "In the bed!" " Am I saying it right?" ""Stewart."" "Is this a robbery?" "'Cause the lady across the hall has way better stuff than me." "Oh, look, it's Hal Stewart." "Quick, the spray." "AII out." " Well, use the Forget-Me Stick." " Oh, right." "Just look at him." "No, he doesn't look quite the hero-type to me." "Oh, you're such a pill, Minion." "A potter couldn't ask for finer clay." "I smell a hero." "I smell something burning." "I think it's working." "Places!" "Places!" "Places!" "Places!" "Places." "Do you have your disguise?" "What?" "Oh, you look fantastic." "Rise my glorious creation." "Rise, and come to Papa." " What's going on?" " Easy my child." " Who are you?" " I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice, honor, and nobility." "I am your father." "So you're like my space dad?" "Yeah, I'm like your space dad." "And you are what?" "I'm your space stepmom." "I've had some work done recently." "Is this some kind of dream?" "This is a dream come true." "You've been blessed with unfathomable power." " What kind of power?" " Unfathomable." "It's unf... without fathom." "Yeah." "We've come to guide you on your path to be Metrocity's new hero and battle the super-genius of Megamind." "I know this is a Iot to take in." "It may take months for you to come to grips." "No freaking way!" "I wasn't finished." "I'm gonna be a hero!" "I'm gonna be a hero!" "See, Minion, he's perfect!" "And... action!" " Someone help me!" " I'm OK!" "You..." "Bad!" "Zap!" "Zap!" "Zap!" "The flames of my evil burn bright." "Now you say something cool back at me." "Look." "It doesn't even hurt." "Don't even feel it." "No, no, no, no, no." "Stomach down, hands up." "Like Metro Man." " Whoa!" "Wait!" " Watch out." "He's hopeless." "Hopeless!" " Maybe we should change tactics." " You think so?" "Oh, you know how boys are." "They love video games." " I could throw a few parts together." " Can't wait." "LOL." "Smiley face." "Can't wait for what, sir?" "That was such a funny story." "And brilliantly told, by the way." "OK, now you tell one." "Bernard, I never knew you were so funny." "And I never heard you laugh before." "Yeah, it's been a while." "Feels pretty good." "And action." "Gotcha!" " You don't get out much, do you?" " Oh, what fun!" "I used to come here with my mother when I was a kid." "It was one of my favorite things to do." "Now look at it." "It's a dump." "Why are we cleaning up the city, sir?" "Well, we don't want to battle our new hero in a dump now, do we?" "They're all back." "But how?" "Why?" "Maybe Megamind isn't so bad after all." "That's it." "Be free, my beautiful dove!" "OK, OK." "Metro Man and I were never a couple." " But I thought you two were..." " I know." "Everybody did." "It's just..." "Well, he was never really my type." "Really?" "OK, now you tell me something." "Something you've never told anyone." "Well, in sh... school none of the other kids really liked me." "I was always the Iast one picked for everything." "It's too bad that we didn't go to the same school." "Hal, I think you're ready for this." " Do I have a son?" " No." "You make me laugh." "It stretches." "It's for you." "Hey, what's the T stand for?" "Titan." ""Titan"?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It was the only name I could trademark." "Do you have someone special in your life, Hal?" "No, not yet." "But... there's this really, really good-Iooking one" "I've got my eye on currently." "That's very good." " Romance is very inspiring." " That's what I hear." "AII you have to do is save her and she'll be yours." " Who wants churros?" " I do!" " I do, yeah." "Thanks, Space Stepmom." " Churros all the way around." "On the count of three, unsheathe your churro." "One, two, three!" "To Titan!" "Tomorrow, you will fight Megamind, and the city will know your name." "...the city's parks restored to their original glory, the streets the safest they've been, the banks reopened." "Has something happened to Megamind?" "Has someone tamed this monster?" "This is Roxanne Ritchi, cautiously optimistic, and pleasantly confused." "Well, you seem in a very good mood tonight, sir." "Oh, yes." "How long is this going to take, Minion?" "Just a few alterations, sir, and I will be done with your most terrifying cape yet!" "I'm calling it the Black Mamba..." "Black Mamba." "Perfect." "Gosh, I am running late." "I have to go." "What?" "Where..." "Where are you going, sir?" "We have our debut battle with Titan tomorrow morning." "We haven't even tested your big battle suit yet." "You attend to the details, Minion." "I have to... run a quick errand." "You don't run errands." " What's going on here?" " What?" "Oh, wait a minute." "Are you wearing Jean Paul Gaultier's Pour Homme?" "It's just my natural musk." "Now, where are the car keys?" "This is about Ms. Ritchi, isn't it?" "You're going on a date with her." "No, my main man." "Get out of town." "Oh, this is bad." "This is bad." "You've fallen in love with her." "You are forgetting your place, Minion." "Now give me the keys." "What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?" "She will never find out." "That's the point of lying." "Honestly, if I didn't know any better," "I'd think this was your first day of being evil." "No!" "This has gone far enough!" "Oh, that was really grown-up!" "Sir, sir, please." "It's for your own good." "Oh, what do you know?" "I may not know much, but I do know this:" "The bad guy doesn't get the girl." "Maybe I don't want to be the bad guy anymore." "You heard me!" "Who are you?" " Now, give me the keys!" " No!" "My sole purpose in life is to look after you." "Well, I don't need you to look after me." "What are you s..." "What are you saying?" "You don't need me?" "Let me make it clear." "Code:" "I Don't Need You." "You know what?" "You know what?" "Code:" "I'll Just Pack My Thing And Go!" " Code:" "Fine!" " Code:" "Fine Back!" " Well, good luck on your date!" " I will!" " That doesn't even make any sense!" " I know!" "I know I am so close." "I can feel it." "OK, OK." "I just have to take a step back." "Wait a minute." ""Titan."" " What's a Titan?" " My super-ears are burning." "I usually just hear criminals." "You haven't been naughty, have you?" "I'm totally messing with you." "I'm totally messing with you." " The name's Titan." " Titan." "Your very own heroic guardian of pure awesome." "What's your name?" "Just kidding." "I know everything about you." "And I..." "And I brought some flowers." "Didn't know what you liked, so I just grabbed, you know, all of them." "OK." "You don't like flowers?" "OK, forget the flowers." "What do you want?" "Thought maybe we could go for a Iittle flight around town." "Get to know each other first." "This must be very thrilling for you." "What do you think you're doing?" "!" "Oh, am I moving too fast?" "You're probably right." "I should just rescue you a few times before we get all romantic." "Saved ya." "You are lucky to have such a great hero here." " Don't you ever..." " Oh, no!" "Somebody do something!" "Oh, right, right, duh." "I gotcha." "I gotcha." "That was a close one." "You almost died," " but I saved you." " Building!" "Gotcha!" "I'm sorry." "What were you saying?" "I couldn't hear you over the sound of me saving your life." "Put me down!" "Right now!" "OK, all right." "AII right, hold on." "Are you crazy?" "I suppose I'm a, I'm a Iittle crazy, about you." "Who are you, really?" "Oh, right." "Well, prepare to have your mind blown, little lady." " Ta-da." " Hal?" "Yeah." "Isn't this great?" "Now there's nothing keeping us apart." " No." "It's not great." " Wow." "Our first fight." "This is so us." "We're like an old married couple." "Look, there is no "us," OK?" "There will never be an "us."" "But..." "I have powers." "I have a cape." "I'm the good guy." "You are a good guy, Hal, but you don't understand." " We need to find out why..." " No, no." "This..." " Hal, just take a deep breath" " This isn't right!" " and listen to me for a moment." " You're supposed to be with me!" "I'm trying to warn you, Hal." "It's Titan!" "It's Titan, not Hal!" " Bernard." " Roxanne." " Sorry I'm late." " Wow, your hair looks exciting." "Not the only exciting development of the night." "Megamind's created a new hero, and I know why." "It all makes sense now." "He missed getting his butt kicked, so he created a new hero" " to kick it for him." " Yeah." "But why would he pick Hal?" "Hal is the worst possible person you could pick." "Wow." "That's a Iot to take in." "It boggles my mind." "I am extremely boggled." "You know, I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of who's kicking whose butt." "But in the meantime, Iet's enjoy each other's company." "I'm sorry, Bernard, of course, you're right." "You know, I could use a breather." "To Bernard, for being the only normal thing in my crazy, upside-down world." "To... being normal." " Roxanne?" " Yes?" "Say I wasn't so normal." "Let's say I was bald and had the complexion of, of a popular primary color, as a random, nonspecific example." " Would you still enjoy my company?" " Of course!" "You don't judge a book by its cover or a person from the outside." "That's a relief to hear." "You judge them based on their actions." "Well, that seems kind of petty, don't you think?" "What?" "What?" "Don't look at me!" "Just a technical glitch!" "Don't look yet!" "Well, never mind that." "OK." "Where were we?" " You..." " Now, now, hold on." "You!" "I can explain!" "What about everything you just said?" "About judging a book by its cover?" "Well, Iet's take a look at the contents then, shall we?" "You destroyed Metro Man, you took over the city, and then, you actually got me to care about you!" "Why are you so evil?" "Tricking me?" "What could you possibly hope to gain?" "Wait a minute." "I don't believe this." "Do you really think that I would ever be with you?" "No." "OK, Minion!" "You were right!" "I was..." "less right!" "We should stick to what we're good at... being bad." "Minion?" "You there!" "Yeah, you." "Bring out the Black Mamba." "OK, Titan." "It's time to go down in style." "I hear there's a new hero who dares challenge my evil." "Where is the one they call Titan?" "Challenge me if you dare!" "Oh no." "We're gonna crash!" "This is embarrassing." "Of all the inconsiderate, bone-headed irresponsible, rude..." "Unprofessional, that's what this is!" "Would Metro Man have kept me waiting?" "Of course not!" "He was a pro!" "Hey, Megamind!" "You're actually the guy I want to see." "Also, there's a door here." "Do you have any idea how long I waited for you?" "No, no, no, I totally understand what you're saying." "Could you just, just shut up for one second." "I'm trying to beat this level." "Were you even planning on showing up?" "What's this?" "Where did you get all this stuff?" "It doesn't belong to me." " You stole it?" " Pretty cool, right?" " No, no, no, no!" "You're a hero!" " Being a hero is for losers!" "It's work, work, work, 24/7, and for what?" "I only took the gig to get the girl, and it turns out Roxanne doesn't want anything to do with me." " Roxanne Ritchi?" " Yeah!" "Roxanne Ritchi!" "I saw her having dinner and making googly eyes at some intellectual dweeb!" "Who needs all that noise?" "That's why I think we should team up." "You..." "Wait..." "What?" "With my power, and your big-headedness," " we could rule the city!" " You want to team up?" "I even drew up some new costume designs, see?" " Costume designs?" " You'd be the brains, so you'd get a Iittle brain, wearing glasses on your costume, or something." "And since I'm the cool one, I'd have, Iike, two tanks swordfighting..." "I can't believe you." "AII your gifts, all your powers, and you... you squander them for your own personal gain." " Yes!" " No!" "I'm the villain!" "You're the good guy!" "I do something bad, and you come and get me!" "That's why I created you." "Yeah, right." "You're nuts." "Space Dad told me..." "Look, I'm your space dad!" "You should be more like Metro Man." " You tricked me?" " Oh, don't like that?" "Well, there's more." "I'm also the intellectual dweeb dating Roxanne." " No." " And we were smooching up a storm!" "When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna..." "Yes!" "Yes, I know!" "Bring me to justice." "Oh God, how I've missed this." "And the hero strikes the first blow." "But evil returns with a backhand!" "Yes!" "Come out, you little freak!" "I want to see what that big brain looks like on the pavement!" "You fell for the oldest evil trick in the book!" "You little blue twerp!" "En garde!" "Oh, now that's the spirit!" "Parry!" "Thrust!" "Parry again!" "Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!" "You go first!" "OK!" "Look, I'm not sure where to go with that!" "This one's for stealing my girlfriend!" "This one's for Space Dad making a fool out of me!" "And, Megamind, this one's for Space Stepmom!" "You lied to her!" "Well done." "I thought that battle went really, really well." " I mean, I have a few notes." " Notes?" "But they can wait." "You can take me to jail now." "Oh, no, no, no." "I was thinking more like the morgue." "You're dead!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "This isn't how you play the game." "Game over." "Brain-bots!" "I'm calling time out!" "Time out?" "Time out!" "Time out!" "Brain-bots, initiate the fail-safe." "Guess what, Buster Brown?" "It's made from copper." "You're powerless against it." "It's the very same metal used to defeat..." "Metro Man?" "You should stop comparing me to Metro Man!" "You can run, Megamind, but you can't hide!" "We're saved!" "We're saved!" "What's your name, new hero?" " It's Titan." " Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Titan has freed us!" "Oh, I wouldn't say "free." More like under new management." " What do you want?" " Titan's turned evil." "Congratulations." "Another one of your genius plans has backfired on you." "And why did my doorman let you up?" "Carlos." "Please, Roxanne, no." "No." "I need your help." "Why do you need my help?" "Because you're the smartest person I know." "But you can't hide here." "The copper should have worked." "Why didn't the copper work?" "The copper worked perfectly well last time." "Copper?" "You're not making any sense." "Look, if we don't find Titan's weakness, he'll destroy the whole city." " OK, how can I help?" " We need to find answers." "You knew Metro Man best." "Did he have a hideout?" "A cave?" "A solitary fortress of some kind?" "Anything that would give us clues." "Well... there is one place I know." "You gave him these powers." "Can't you just take them away?" "I can't." "I lost my diffuser gun when I misplaced the invisible car." "The night you dumped me." "Alone." "In the rain." "Did you ever look back?" " No!" " My giant blue head!" "I guess we're here." "So, this is where he hid it." "After all these years." "My old shoolhouse." "You know, I think there's an apology in order for the other night." "OK, that would be nice, but make it quick." "We have much more pressing matters to deal with." "Wow." "I can't believe he kept all this stuff." "I remember when he wore that." " Shouldn't we try to stay focused here?" " Yes, of course." "Right." "Focused." "Hey." "Come over and look at this." "What is it?" "What did you find?" "Look." "This glass has ice cubes in it." "Yes, that's what happens when water gets cold." "No, what I'm saying is, don't you think it's a Iittle odd that the ice hasn't melted yet?" "One of Iife's great mysteries." "Hey." "We now have confirmed reports." "Titan, first thought to be this city's new hero, has turned evil." "The city has never seen this level of destruction." "If only Metro Man were still alive." " You're alive?" " You're alive." " I'm alive." " But I, we..." "We saw your skeleton!" "You were dead!" "Are you a ghost?" "There had better be an amazing explanation for this." "Speak, apparition." "OK." "OK, OK, OK." "You both deserve the truth." "It all started back at the observatory." "Roxanne was kidnapped." "I was gonna stop you." "My head wasn't in the game that day." "We were kind of going through the motions." "So... using my super-speed," "I decided to go clear my head." "Fire!" "Then I realized, we had done this same silly charade our entire lives." "I tried to get my mind off how I was feeling, but I just felt stuck." "I began to realize, despite all my powers, each and every citizen of Metro had something I didn't: a choice." "Ever since I can remember, I've always had to be what the city wanted me to be." "But what about what I wanted to do?" "Then it suddenly hit me." "I do have a choice." "I can be whatever I want to be." "No one said this hero thing had to be a lifetime gig." "You can't just quit, either." "That's when I got the brilliant idea..." "to fake my death." "Copper drains my powers." "Your weakness is copper?" "Once your death ray hit, I'd never felt so alive." "So I borrowed a prop from a nearby nursing school." "Metro Man was finally dead." "And Music Man was born!" " Music Man?" " That way I could keep my logo." " 'Cause of wha...?" " Come again?" "I was finally free to get in touch with my true power weaving lyrical magic." "Check this out." "I have eyes that can see" "Right through lead..." " You're horrible!" " Granted, you have talent." "But there's a madman out there destroying our... your city." "How could you do this?" "!" "The people of this city relied on you, and you deserted them!" "You left us in the hands of him!" " No offense." " No, I'm with you." "Look, we need your help." "I'm sorry." "I really am." "I'm done." "You know, little buddy, there's a yin for every yang." "If there's bad, good will rise up against it." "It's taken me a Iong time to find my calling." "Now it's about time you find yours." "Hey, who needs him?" "We can beat Titan ourselves." "I say we go back to the evil lair, grab some ray guns, hold him sideways, and just go all gangsta on him." "We can't." "So that's it?" "You're just giving up?" "I'm the bad guy." "I don't save the day, I don't fly off into the sunset, and I don't get the girl." "I'm going home." "Unless someone comes to our aid soon, all may be lost." "Thousands have already fled the city in a mass exodus." "Remaining citizens are warned to stay indoors until further notice." "Authorities have issued a warning to stay out of the downtown area at all costs." "Hal!" "Hal!" "Let me guess." "After seeing how awesome I am, you've finally come to your senses?" "Well, I'm over you." " I've come to stop you, Hal." " You?" "Oh, wow." "OK, what are you gonna do, report me to death?" "I was going to try reasoning with you." "You and I, we worked together for a Iong time." "I know you." "You don't know me." "You never took the time to know me." "This is the first time we've hung out socially, and it's when I'm about to destroy the city!" "I want to talk to the real Hal." "I want to talk to the guy who loved being a cameraman, and eating dip, and being a nerd, and being not as scary as the Tighten Hal." "Too late!" "...interrupting our scheduled extraordinary events taking place..." "Heat in the valley and..." "Megamind!" "You and I have some unfinished business." "I'll be waiting at Metro Tower." "Oh, and just so you don't get cold feet..." "Roxanne." "Come on, Roxie, call for your hero to come rescue you." "Megamind, I don't even know if you're listening, but if you are, you can't give up." "The Megamind I knew would never have run from a fight, even when he knew he had absolutely no chance of winning." "It was your best quality." "You need to be that guy right now." "The city needs you." "I need you." "Roxanne." "You have one hour." "Don't keep me waiting." "Warden!" "Warden!" "Listen to me!" "You have to let me go!" "Tighten has to be stopped!" "Sorry, Megamind." "You still have 88 life sentences to go." "Plenty of time to reflect on what you've done." "Did you want to hear me say it?" "I'll say it." "Here it is, from the blackest part of my heart." "I am sorry!" "Not buying it." "I don't blame you." "I've terrorized this city countless times." "Created a hero who's turned out to be a villain." "I lied to Roxanne, and my best friend Minion, I treated like dirt." "Please don't make this city don't make Roxanne pay for my wrongdoings." "Apology accepted." "Oh, Minion, you fantastic fish, you." "What are we waiting for?" "We'd better get going." "You got me." " Good luck, fellas!" " We're gonna die!" "Wait, what?" "Hey, Metro losers." "This is Metro Tower." "They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength." "But for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart." "And I hate reminders!" "Help!" "Please don't do this." "I know there's still good in you, Hal." "You're so naive, Roxie." "You see the good in everybody, even when it's not there." "You're living a fantasy." "There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Queen of England." "This is the real world, and you need to wake up!" "You dare challenge Megamind?" "This town isn't big enough for two super-villains!" "Oh, you're a villain all right!" "Just not a super one!" "Yeah?" "What's the difference?" "Presentation!" " I knew you'd come back." " Well, that made one of us." " What's the plan?" " Well, it mostly involves not dying." "I Iike that plan." "Building!" "Go faster!" "Make this thing go faster!" "I can't control it!" "No." "Well, that was easy." "Looks like there's only one loose end now." "Please, Iet's have a Iittle respect for public transportation." "You came back!" "You were right, Roxanne." "I never should have left." "I..." "I thought you were dead." "My death was... greatly exaggerated." "So, you're the punk I've heard about." "I'm sorry." "I did the best I could." "I'm so proud of you." "Minion?" "Surprise!" "He's the real hero." "Megamind." "Going somewhere?" "Besides jail?" "No, not in the face, man." "Please." "If you know what's good for you, Tighten, you'll stay out of Metrocity!" " You got it!" " For good!" "Pretty sneaky, sis." "But there's only one person I know who calls this town "Metrocity."" "You." "Bet you think it's really funny?" "Let's all laugh at the really cool guy?" "Well, you're not gonna be laughing for long." "The invisible car." "Hey!" "Remember that night that I dumped you?" "You're bringing this up now?" "Well, I did look back!" "You did?" "You did?" "Yes!" "And you should look back right now!" "Oh, I get it!" "This is the Iast time you make a fool out of me!" "I made you a hero." "You did the fool thing all by yourself." "You're so pathetic." "No matter what side you're on, you're always the loser." "There's a benefit to losing." "You get to Iearn from your mistakes." "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" "Minion, if I Iive, I will kill you." "Enjoy your flight!" "Megamind!" "So this is how it ends." "Normally, I'd chalk this up to my last glorious failure." "But not today." "What can I say?" "Old habits die hard." "Say bye-bye, Roxie." "OIIo." "The thing about bad guys, they always lose!" " You did it." "You won." " Well..." "I finally had a reason to win." "You." "Minion!" "Can't see." "It's cold and... warm, and dark and light." "It's me, Minion." "I'm right here." "We've had a Iot of adventures together, you and I." "We have, Minion." "I mean... most of them ended in horrible failure, but we won today." "Didn't we, sir?" "Yes, Minion, we did it." "Thanks to you." "Code:" "We're The Good Guys Now." "Code:" "I Guess We Are." "Oh, oh, oh, I'm going!" "I think this, this is it!" "I'm going... going far..." "What a drama queen." "You know, I'm feeling much better now." "I guess I just needed a swim." "He had you, didn't he?" "Classic Minion." "Don't give me that face." "He reels you in with that little face." " Look at that face." " We did it!" "We did it!" " Fist pump!" " You did it!" "We won, we won, we won!" "Get back, you savages!" "Sorry!" "Sorry." "He's just not used to positive feedback." "Funny, I guess destiny is not the path given to us but the path we choose for ourselves." "AII right, put your hands in the air." "Now hand over your wallets." "I'm just kidding!" "Just kidding!" "I have to admit, being good has its perks." "You know, you look pretty good in white." "Megamind, if you plea..." "Hey." "My kid can't see." "Sorry, my friend." "Way to go, little buddy." "I knew he had it in him." "Ladies and gentlemen," "Megamind, defender of Metro City!" "You know, I like the sound of that." "Hit it!" "Megamind!" "Megamind!" "Megamind!" "Megamind!" "I'm bad!" "I'm bad!" "That's right." "Yeah!" "Sir, you really need to empty your pockets more often." "This has been the worst day of my entire life." "No worries."

"(Patrick sighs)" "(Knock on door)" "(Knocking continues)" "I'm busy!" "(Lisbon) Duty calls." "I've been trying to get you on the phone." "Open the door." "(Opens lock)" "Does that board have you any closer to catching Red John?" "I don't know." "I keep getting interrupted." "What I need is radio silence, Lisbon, for a week." "If you can." "The dead body at LaRoche's house won't wait that long." "J.J.s?" "He asked for you specifically on the case." "(Police radio chatter, indistinct conversations)" "(Rigsby) Hey, boss." "So LaRoche came home early on a red eye from New York." "He saw the flashlights and surprised (Door closes) two robbers breaking into the safe." "That's when the shooting started." "Where's the other one?" "Escaped out the back." "They wore masks." "It was dark." "LaRoche didn't see much." "Oh, they hit the hummels." "Is LaRoche okay?" "(Rigsby) He sustained a minor hit." "(Lisbon) Anything missing from the safe?" "(Rigsby) Nope." "He stopped them before they could take anything." "You know, we can have someone handle the dog." "Oh, yeah, I know." "(Dog whimpers)" "Th-there's no I.D. on the body." "Well, maybe not government issue, but there's a lot of information here." "Like these black spots on his fingertips." "Dead tissue." "And his eyes are very inflamed, too." "Maybe he was on drugs." "Just... (Pills rattle)" "Nice one, Lisbon." "Ibuprofen." "I'm gonna guess this man was suffering from rheumatoid arthritis." "Well, if you're gonna get in a gunfight, it's best to get in one with an arthritic shooter." "Mm." "Where is LaRoche?" "He's waiting in the ambulance." "He won't let the paramedics take him for treatment until he talks to you." "Oh." "Well, excuse me." "V.I.P." "(Barks) (Gasps)" "(Rigsby) Hey!" "(Police radio chatter)" "J.J." "I see you bought a new safe." "Apparently it's not safe enough." "Excuse us, please." "Sure." "No problem." "I'm gonna cut to the chase, Mr. Jane." "(Door closes) I was not forthcoming with Rigsby." "They took something." "My Tupperware box." "Yeah, I figured." "Been hiding that box for nine years." "I thought you were the only one that knew of its existence." "But after the gunfire ended, the box was missing, and this was in its place." ""Drop the case." "You have until tonight""" "(breathing heavily) What case?" "I'm investigating a security leak inside CBI." "The leak will turn the Tupperware over to authorities if I don't back off." "You know what'll happen if they unseal that box." "I do." "Of course you do." "I didn't take it." "I know that, Patrick." "It's your favorite blackmail device." "Your puppet mastery over me ends if..." "Its contents becomes public knowledge." "I never thought of you as a puppet." "You ever thought of me as a friend?" "This is difficult to ask." "(Sighs)" "I need your help." "Please." "Sure." "I-I'll find your Tupperware." "I would appreciate that." "As would my mother." "You can take me now." "(Engine starts)" "(Ambulance departing)" "So what's in the Tupperware box?" "I don't know." "♪ The Mentalist 5x21 ♪ Red and Itchy Original Air Date on April 28, 2013" "== sync, corrected by elderman ==" "Two years ago, I hired a petty thief to break into LaRoche's safe for a list of Red John suspects." "Yeah, I know." "I had to slug the guy in front of his lawyer to keep you out of jail." "Cost me six months in anger management." "Yeah, and I hope you learned something." "My point is, he opened the safe, and he saw a Tupperware box." "Which was stolen this morning." "To blackmail LaRoche into dropping his investigation." "What investigation?" "Well, apparently there's a security leak inside the CBI." "Well, maybe your thief took it." "No, LaRoche's new safe is way out of his league." "In any case, the missing plasticware has the power to end LaRoche's career." "And you really don't know what's inside?" "(Chuckles) No, I-I don't." "But LaRoche doesn't know that." "So while I'm busy with him, why don't you assign" "Rigsby and Van Pelt to find out what's in the box?" "Our job is to catch the criminal who got away, not protect some CBI agent who might be dirty." "So much for the anger management training." "(Sighs)" "If we can solve the mystery of LaRoche's secret, it will lead us to the missing criminal." "Why don't you just ask LaRoche what's in the box?" "He's not gonna tell me voluntarily." "It's embarrassing to him and deeply personal." "And it's in Tupperware?" "Yes." "How could you not want to investigate?" "LaRoche told Jane he had the box for nine years." "Dig into his past." "Look for significant events." "And check out his mother." "LaRoche made a strange reference to her." "The Tupperware's a clue." "Why hide something in Tupperware?" "I don't know." "Keep it fresh?" "Nothing stays fresh for nine years." "Well, maybe LaRoche needed a box, and the Tupperware was handy." "No." "Tupperware's never handy." "It's always in the wrong drawer." "And when you do find it, the lid's always missing." "Right?" "I hate that." "Yeah." "Uh, don't let LaRoche know you have knowledge of the box." "That's a confidence between he and Jane." "Okay." "Got a hit on the dead guy." "Will Parsons." "Local family man, married." "Owns a locksmith shop in El Dorado Hills." "Clean record." "All right, let's go talk to the wife." "(Voice breaking) This has to be a mistake." "Will is a-a locksmith, not a killer." "He-- he was on a house call, fixing a rusted dead bolt." "The key snapped off in the lock." "Your husband was part of a 2-man team that broke into a residential home." "He brought his gun, and he fired at our agent." "If Will did that, then somebody made him." "Yea--maybe they were holding a gun on him." "That's possible, right?" "When was the last time you saw your husband, ma'am?" "When he left the house last night at 11:00." "Did you see him take his gun?" "No." "No." "Do you know anyone who might have hired your husband to break into a safe?" "Oh, no." "What is happening here?" "(Sobs)" "(Sobbing continues)" "I have suspected a security leak inside CBI for months." "Too many high-profile suspects evading arrest." "Really?" "Mm." "Haven't noticed." "Well, that's because you stop at nothing to close cases for your team." "Why, thank you." "Other CBI agents, they have, uh, principles." "I leaned into that one." "Mm." "Miguel Leyva." "Sinaloa cartel." "He controls drug corridors throughout the East Bay." "(Clears throat)" "Two months ago, a CBI task force was set for a bust." "And when they raided his warehouse, three tons of cocaine disappeared without a trace." "Someone in the CBI tipped him off?" "Him and others before him." "That was my instinct, and it was confirmed by the arrest of this man." "Tommy Volker." "Now, he was always a step ahead of your team, and I found out why." "He had a secret cell phone account." "Now, in the days before his arrest, that number was called six times... from inside CBI." "Well, at least you have a suspect." "Of which I am not aware." "The thief who got away." "Huh?" "You find the thief, you find the leak." "Before tonight." "That's when my blackmailer will expose the truth about me." "Well, like you said, I'll stop at nothing." "You know what's in that box, Patrick." "What do you th-think of me?" "Y-you..." "You're gonna have to be a little more, uh, specific." "Am I a monstrosity to you?" "A monstrosity?" "No." "I mean..." "You're--you're interesting and you're complex." "I am?" "And obviously creative." "Tupperware..." "Well, I suppose that's true." "(Exhales deeply)" "I've been afraid to ask that until now." "Found something." "Nine years ago, LaRoche's mother was physically and sexually assaulted." "The attack lasted two hours." "She said she begged for mercy the whole time, but... her rapist just ignored her." "Wow." "Did she survive?" "Three months later, she took her life." "Oh... poor LaRoche." "(Clicks tongue and drops folder)" "What does all this have to do with a Tupperware container?" "What if there was evidence inside?" "(Clicks mouse) Scott Saynay." "The man convicted of raping LaRoche's mother." "He's serving a 12-year sentence in Folsom." "Uh... what if LaRoche planted evidence to assure his conviction?" "Hmm." "Like what?" "I don't know." "His mother's blood?" "I mean, it says here that the only physical evidence linking Saynay to the crime is her blood on his clothes." "Why would LaRoche want to keep that?" "Maybe he thought he'd need it again if Saynay got out on appeal." "Oh... this is crazy." "How can the boss possibly expect us to solve this?" "I don't know, but I really want to know what's in that box." "Yeah, me, too." "I wonder if he knows." "(Indistinct conversations)" "Hi." "Can I get a medium coffee, please?" "Lisbon." "I was looking for you." "Hey, Brenda." "Any developments on the LaRoche break-in?" "Not yet, no." "Why?" "The head of our Internal Affairs division was shot inside his home this morning." "We need to get out in front of the case." "Well, that's what I'm trying to do." "I'm heading to the autopsy now." "I mean from a public perspective." "We can't allow people to believe there's corruption brewing inside CBI." "Is that what people believe?" "There's been some chatter in the local blogosphere." "I don't read blogs." "Well, you should." "It's easy to forget, but we work in the state capital." "Now I-I just came from Bertram's office." "He agrees with me that a TV interview with a friendly reporter is a win-win for the Bureau." "Well, let's win." "I'll get back to you with details." "No obstruction of the airway." "The mucosa of the epiglottis, glottis, and major bronchi are anatomic." "(Lowered voice) Thanks for coming by." "(Lowered voice) Since when do we attend autopsies?" "Well, since we have a deadline to confirm my diagnosis at the crime scene." "No injuries to the respiratory system that I can see." "Rheumatoid arthritis, right?" "And?" "Well, this man... was at war with his body, Lisbon, specifically his hands." "Um, would you explain, Doc?" "See the swelling and inflammation around the wrists?" "It created a compression of the medial nerve inside." "Carpal tunnel, basically." "Any repetitive use of the subject's hands would have caused great pain." "A locksmith who can't use his hands?" "There's more." "I noticed thickening and scarring of the pericardium-- that's the sac-like structure around the heart." "You can see it here." "I'll take your word for it." "Chronic chest pain and shortness of breath were a way of life for this man." "Hmm." "Thanks, Doc." "I don't get it." "Why would somebody hire a disabled thief to rob a safe?" "Well, you wouldn't." "Not knowingly." "Now you said Parsons here owned a locksmith business?" "Yeah, with his wife." "I'd like to meet her." "(Door closes)" "Mom's been a wreck since your visit this morning." "She's taking the news really hard." "She and my dad were crazy close." "Oh, we'll try to keep this brief." "Mom?" "The CBI agents want to ask you a few more questions." "(Exhales)" "Okay, fine." "Jenna, this is Patrick Jane." "Hi." "I'm sorry for your loss." "Thank you. (Inhales)" "Sarah, could you please make us some tea?" "Please." "I told Sarah her father had been shot, but I didn't mention the robbery." "I'm counting on you to straighten that out." "Oh, we're working on it." "Quite a safe collection your husband had." "(Sniffles) Well, he had more." "But we had to sell some off when the economy took a dive." "Yeah." "Yeah, well, most people collect for sentimental reasons." "It's an attempt to trigger a fond memory." "I'm gonna guess--I'm gonna go out on a limb here an guess that your husband's collection started with this little fella." "Will found that when he was 7." "It was locked, so he was dying to know what was inside, and he spent months trying every possible number combination until finally one misty morning, it opened." "What was inside?" "I don't remember." "(Sniffles) That's a disappointment." "No, Lisbon, it doesn't matter what was inside." "The exciting part is the mystery of not knowing." "It's what makes the journey memorable." "Will spent his entire career following that journey. (Cat meows)" "Mm-hmm." "It's what made him become a locksmith." "Jenna, we found out that he was losing the use of his hands. (Meowing)" "Why didn't you tell us about that earlier?" "I didn't think of it." "You'd just told me the man I spent my entire life with was dead." "Which I still don't understand." "The first step is finding out who he broke into that house with." "Did he have any employees?" "No." "It was just Will. (Sniffles)" "(Cat purring) He wanted to hire a good locksmith to cut down on his workload, but he couldn't find anybody up to his standards." "That's incredibly valuable." "You know about safes?" "Do you have the combination for this?" "No." "Will kept those in his head." "Hmm." "I was hoping you'd say that." "(Cat whimpering)" "Jane!" "Stop it!" "Mom!" "What's he doing?" "What are you, crazy?" "That's airtight!" "Then you'd better get to work then." "Mom!" "We have to do something." "What do we do?" "(Cat whimpering, faint)" "(Rustling)" "(Clicking)" "(Cat meowing)" "How's she know how to do that?" "Your father was losing the use of his hands." "He needed help, so he taught everything he knew to the woman he trusted most." "(Sarah) How come I don't know this?" "Well, I imagine your father was a proud man, too. (Beeping)" "(Clicking) Too proud to let anyone know... (Beeps) his wife was doing his job for him." "(Gasps) (Meowing)" "Et voila!" "(Jenna sniffling)" "(Cat meows) (Sighs)" "You're gonna have to come with us now." "Turn around." "Put your hands behind your back." "What, you're arresting her?" "For what?" "(Handcuffs clicking) Breaking and entering, safecracking, and armed robbery." "That sound about right?" "I'm the one who opened your agent's safe." "It was a Sargent and Greenleaf lock, and they can take hours, and will, just... moving his fingers hurt so much." "And who hired you to break into Agent LaRoche's home?" "Will never said." "He just said somebody called and offered him a lot of money to open a residential safe." "What were you asked to steal?" "A plastic container." "I don't know what was in it." "I didn't ask." "Where is it, ma'am?" "Where's the plastic container you stole?" "(Breathes deeply)" "We, um..." "We had a drop point." "A storm drain in Woodley Park." "When you left the shop this morning, I... drove to the park and left the container." "And you never looked inside?" "(Filtered voice) No." "I just wanted it to be done with." "My husband lost his life over that stupid box." "You think we're too late?" "Never know unless you try." "Did your contact say where the storm drain was?" "Near a warning sign." "(Rustling)" "(Tape rips) (Groans)" "(Panting)" "Someone's already been here." "(Panting continues)" "There." "CBI!" "Down on the ground!" "(Cocks gun)" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Put your hands where I can see them!" "Down!" "What'd I do?" "Now!" "On your knees!" "Get down now!" "He's usually a very calm man." "Now do as he says." "Okay." "Just don't shoot." "Secure the container, please." "Should probably check it to be sure." "Daddy?" "It's okay, buddy." "Everything's gonna be all right." "Banana and peanut butter." "You're a lucky kid." "Looks tasty." "(Sighs and mutters)" "I am very sorry, sir." "Have a nice day." "(Man) Come on, buddy." "Let's get out of here." "(Sighs and exhales)" "My time is running out." "(Thuds)" "Whatever happens, I want to thank you for trying to help me." "Well, truth is, you're a hard man not to help, LaRoche." "You're like a Shar-Pei puppy that's rolled onto its back." "You have to rub its belly." "You're mocking me." "No, no, I'm happy to rub your belly." "That won't be necessary." "I hope not." "Should be here somewhere." "Uh, what was the name again?" "Scott Saynay." "He's serving a 12-year sentence for rape and indecent assault." "Oh, here it is." "Scott Saynay was here." "Early release." "Six weeks ago." "Oh." "Where's he now?" "Uh... should be in here somewhere." "Sorry for the mess, but the Supreme Court just ruled that prison overcrowding is unconstitutional." "What a bother." "I know, right?" "We have to reduce our numbers by 1,800 this year." "Saynay was one of the lucky ones." "Uh... huh." "Looks like the release file was forwarded." "You could find him through his parole officer." "And who would that be?" "It's in the release file." "But I could put a trace on it." "Might take a few days." "Yeah, we don't have a few days." "Uh, maybe we could talk to Saynay's last cellmate." "Oh!" "That's a good idea." "Let's see who that was." "Yes." "Ahh..." "Okay, should be in here somewhere." "(Exhales)" "(Machinery whirring)" "Saynay?" "Y-yeah, sure, I remember him." "Easiest cellie I ever had." "Spent most nights writing letters to his ma." "Did Saynay ever give you a sense that he felt wrongly accused or set up?" "Nah." "He wasn't fighting any drama." "Not that you'd know it if he was." "My boy wasn't much of a talker. (Chuckles)" "What's so funny?" "Ah, you'd have to meet Saynay to fully appreciate his quiet nature." "Did he ever mention a plastic container to you?" "What plastic container?" "I guess he didn't trust him enough." "No, clearly." "What are you talking about?" "We're trying to locate an airtight plastic box." "Your cellmate knew all about it." "It was hidden in a safe for nine years, but a man was killed stealing it this morning." "Well, I'll be damned." "Wait." "You know what's in the box?" "Well, I can guess." "Can't you?" "Oh, we want to hear your guess." "Nothing in that for me, except I'd be pissing off the owner of the box, and who wants to mess with a maniac like that?" "(Whistles) I'm done answering their questions." "Scott Saynay, convicted nine years ago of raping and beating LaRoche's mother." "She committed suicide three months later." "That certainly qualifies as a dramatic event in his life." "He just got out of prison." "We're trying to track him down." "Other than being an extreme form of lowlife, what else did you learn about him?" "All we have are his arrest files, but there's nothing surprising." "He's a high school dropout, unemployed." "Multiple burglary arrests." "He was on antidepressants the night he attacked Mrs. LaRoche." "Then maybe he hired the locksmith to open LaRoche's safe." "No." "The break-in is connected to LaRoche's internal investigation." "That, I'm certain of." "So we still don't know what's in the box or who has it?" "Okay, Teresa." "Reporter's here for your interview." "Ah, Sacramento's most eligible singles, or should I say, sexy spinsters of Sacramento?" "Bertram wants to put a public face on the LaRoche break-in." "Why?" "To assure the public that we are not rattled by criminal attacks on our people." "But LaRoche was rattled." "He was shot." "Just..." "let me do what I do." "You do what you do." "Whatever that is." "Lisbon, this way, please." "You only have 15 minutes." "Let's get this thing going." "You're the boss, Brenda." "Really?" "Ah, I just let her think so." "Oh." "We haven't officially met." "Mason Braverman." "Teresa Lisbon." "I have anything in my teeth?" "(Chuckles) No, you're good." "You're good." "Okay, good." "Let's do it." "(Clicking) This is the second time" "Agent LaRoche's home has been broken into, isn't it?" "Yes, it is." "What's he hiding in there?" "Jimmy Hoffa?" "Uh, we don't know why Agent LaRoche's home was targeted." "He killed one of the robbers in a gunfight." "We have the other one in custody, and we expect to have some information soon." "You're certainly having more luck than the CBI task force that botched the Miguel Leyva raid." "We heard the dangerous cartel boss is free because someone tipped him off." "That's not my case." "Okay." "Turn off the camera." "We agreed to a line of questioning, Mason." "Uh, no." "In exchange, I promised you..." "A line of questioning... access and an exclusive story." "Which I never agreed to, Brenda." "Why don't I just step out while you two clear this up?" "Teresa, be patient." "I can always call Channel 10." "It's your choice." "(Inhales) No, I'm good." "(Clears throat)" "So, how does this home invasion affect other CBI agents?" "The targeting of Agent LaRoche's home... is stark evidence that no law enforcement officer is ever truly off duty." "We're all targets." "But J.J. LaRoche chose to be a CBI agent, which is a life of serving other people." "We all know the game, and we all accept the risks." "(Exhales)" "(Knocks) Heard you had some news on the case." "The phone company just confirmed that a call was made from the CBI to the locksmith's shop." "LaRoche is right." "We've got an internal leak." "That's not news, Lisbon." "A phone extension would be news." "Well, they could only trace it to the general switchboard." "We're still walking around blind, Lisbon." "And we're pressed for time." "LaRoche is pressed for time." "We're doing fine." "Yes-- hey, boss." "I might have a lead." "I found this newspaper story in the archives." "It ran seven years ago." ""Will Parsons likes to play safe"?" "Mm-hmm." "It's a local profile on Parsons and his collection." "Same year, he entered a national safecracking competition. (Pages rustling)" "Placed seventh." "So you're thinking that the CBI leak read this article and knew that Parsons could do the job?" "Safe bet." "(Laughing)" "That's funny." "What is?" "Never mind." "All right, see who else is logged into the archive and see if any CBI personnel are long-time subscribers to the "Weekly."" "Uh, I just may have saved you the trouble." "Uh..." "look at the masthead." "Specifically, look who the managing editor was at the "Sacramento Weekly" seven years ago." "Brenda Shettrick?" "No way." "Brenda?" "(LaRoche) Makes sense." "Most information inside CBI runs through Shettrick." "With time, I can build a case, but... time is passing quickly." "We always have time." "You know how long it takes me to solve a case?" "How long?" "However long I have." "But in certain situations, uh, when I'm in a true pinch, such as this, there are compromises that need to be made." "What kind of compromises?" "Well, for instance, I-I could-- I could bring down Shettrick before tonight, but I will have to enlist the help of Lisbon and the team." "No." "Nobody can know about the Tupperware or that it was taken from my safe." "They already know." "I had to confide in Lisbon that a very valuable box was stolen from you, but I did not tell her what was inside, I swear." "You had no right to reveal its existence at all." "Lisbon is my partner." "Allegiances, loyalties..." "Yes, of course." "I-- wh-what was I... thinking?" "(Clears throat) I understand." "You and Lisbon, you are trusted friends." "(Breathes deeply) You do what you will," "Mr. Jane." "That's what you'll do anyway." "J.J., come on." "Don't be like that." "If we're gonna catch Shettrick, we need to move now." "All we have is Shettrick's name on a masthead." "I don't want to rush to judgment." "Well, nobody rushed." "We took our time to judgment." "But now we're here, and we need to act. (Sighs)" "Hey, if we don't arrest her by tonight, she is going to expose LaRoche." "Expose him for what?" "I couldn't tell you." "Have you ever thought that maybe LaRoche's secret should be known?" "Endlessly." "But I have come to the conclusion that whatever happened, he has punished himself enough." "I still don't know about Shettrick." "Yes, you do." "In your gut, you know." "She sold you out to Volker." "You know that." "Her actions almost led to the murder of an 8-year-old boy." "For once in your life, Lisbon, don't be the voice of reason." "Be the voice of wrath." "All right." "How do we get the bitch?" "(Knock on door) Sorry, excuse me." "Uh, big to-do in the bullpen." "Lisbon needs help handling the press." "What's the press doing-- oh, Jane!" "Stop!" "Tell me what's going on." "Uh, y-you remember the drug lord that got away?" "Miguel Leyva." "Well, CBI found his secret estate." "Uh, according to intel, he's sitting poolside right now with a frisky blonde, meatball sub, and a fresh shipment of drugs." "What intel?" "Oh, I don't know, but the Rapid Response Team is about to conduct a raid, and that TV reporter is getting in the way." "What TV reporter?" "The one from today." "Lisbon invited him to ride along on the bust." "For God sake, why?" "Well... good P.R. for the Bureau, I don't know." "I guess that's what she thought you wanted." "Oh..." "Well, I..." "We can't let Leyva get away this time." "We'll stack up on the forward door, with cover on all the windows." "I want a dynamic entry, shock lock breach, bang and clear." "Guys, she's here." "It's time to start moving" "(Cho) Let's roll." "Let's not." "Turn the camera off." "This hasn't been cleared." "Yes, it has." "I just left Bertram's office, and he says it's a win-win." "He just wants you to Shepherd our TV colleagues here." "No wonder you didn't want me asking about Miguel Leyva." "You knew all along a raid was in the works." "Well, of course." "Okay, just let me make a phone call before we go." "We don't have time." "You're holding us up." "Let's go." "Here's your vest." "If you hurry, you can make the 6:00 news." "Um... point the camera away from me." "Buh-bye!" "Bring back a drug lord!" "(Police radio chatter)" "This is a high-risk operation." "Surprise, speed, and domination are key." "Our goals are to clear any threats, and prevent the destruction of any evidence." "Excuse me, what are you doing?" "I need to cancel an appointment." "There's no outside communications during an operation." "It's standard procedure." "(Clip clicks)" "Great." "(Brakes screech, clatter)" "Moving out." "Remember the tactical plan." "You three stay with Karl." "(Doors open) (Man clears throat)" "You want us with?" "Sh-shouldn't we wait in the van?" "Bertram approved full access." "This is great, Brenda." "You're the best." "Stay focused on the breach team." "(Doors close)" "Wait!" "(Lowered voice) Shh!" "Quiet!" "(Lowered voice) I left my Kevlar vest in the van." "Then you hold right here." "We can't wait for you." "(Exhales deeply)" "(Gasps)" "(Whispering) Okay." "Okay, okay, okay." "(Phone beeps)" "(Normal voice) Come on." "Come on, come on." "(Line rings) Yeah." "What up?" "Miguel, it's Brenda Shettrick." "Don't talk." "Listen." "They're about to break down your door." "Now, I will make it go away just like I did with the last raid." "Just don't say anything to them." "Slow down, woman." "What are you talking about?" "No time." "Here they come." "Police!" "Search warrant!" "Stand away from the door!" "(Shotgun firing)" "(Gunshots continue) (Panting)" "(Gunshot)" "(Gunshots continue)" "Is it clear?" "!" "(Patrick) Yeah, we're clear." "(Indistinct conversations)" "What's going on?" "Get that away from me." "What are you doing here?" "(Breath quavering)" "Where's Miguel Leyva?" "Well, probably relaxing at his pad, wherever the hell that is." "Oh, this place is on the market, but you're gonna need to save your pennies to post bail." "You're welcome to join us, Brenda." "We were just reviewing the footage." "What footage?" "Very telegenic." "Don't you think?" "Don't talk." "Listen." "They're about to break down your door." "I will make it go away just like I did with the last raid." "Just don't say anything to them." "You promised me an exclusive." "You weren't kidding." "How much did Miguel Leyva pay you to tip him off about the drug raid?" "Go to hell." "(Mason) Excellent." "(Inhales sharply)" "You know how this works, Brenda." "It'll go a lot easier if you just" "I do know how this works." "That's what you tell the sheep on their way to slaughter." "Why do they bleat?" "I never understood that when I watched your interrogations." "(Breathes sharply) I want a lawyer." "Well, I guess she's too smart." "Not that smart." "We have her on tape tipping off a cartel boss." "Same way she tipped off Tommy Volker." "She's going down." "I just wish I knew why." "Well, I don't think she's gonna tell you." "But I will." "You don't know the first thing about me." "You were an East Coast prep girl." "College?" "Uh, Barnard." "Or maybe Mount Holyoke, for the horseback riding trails." "She does like horses." "You were a romantic." "You moved to the state capital because you wanted to expose fakes and frauds, and fall in love, and write stories in coffee shops." "She does like coffee." "A lot of people like coffee." "Here's the one problem-- you couldn't write." "Your skill set was more managing editor." "Managing editors are the second highest ranking position at a newspaper." "Yes." "The allure of power." "It's why you joined the CBI, so you could rub elbows with all the big players in town." "You're so off." "(Chuckles)" "Never did fall in love." "Well, at least, uh..." "No one fell in love with you." "So you found your thrills in the arms of power, trading favors and inside information to anyone who'd have you." "And in the end, you became exactly what you hated." "Just another political phony on the take." "(Imitates bleat) Bah!" "(Door opens)" "(Door closes)" "Van Pelt and I made a bet what's in the Tupperware." "Animal, a vegetable, or mineral." "What do you think?" "Check the file cabinet." "(Breathes deeply) Van Pelt says animal." "I say vegetable." "Van Pelt wins." "No way!" "If it was biological, you'd freeze it." "(Drawer closes) Tupperware, it's for food storage." "Has to be vegetable." "(Sighs) Like what, broccoli?" "I don't know." "(Drawers close and open)" "Hey, hey, hey." "Check it out." "(Closes drawer) Ooh..." "It exists." "Yeah, it's a box." "Let's go." "Hang on." "Don't you care what's inside?" "No." "I think there's something stuck to the bottom." "Oh, oh, oh." "Unh." "Is that yours to open?" "I was just gonna sneak a peek." "Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk." "(Inhales and sighs)" "(Knocks)" "(Sighs)" "Thank you for keeping my secret." "Eh." "It was easy." "I'm afraid Brenda Shettrick can still bring me down with what she knows." "She won't." "How can you be sure?" "Shettrick likes to trade." "She's cutting a deal with the D.A. right now to give up her drug lord." "She told Lisbon she'd forget about Tupperware if we forget about blackmail charges." "How did Shettrick know about the box to begin with?" "Only you and I knew of its existence." "You... and I... and..." "Donny Culpepper." "Small-time thief I hired to break into your safe." "She must have bought the information from him." "Ah." "Well... (Sighs)" "This concludes our business together, Mr. Jane." "I certainly hope not." "(Inhales deeply)" "You've never asked me why I keep this." "I appreciate that." "But I suppose you must wonder." "(Chuckles)" "I wouldn't be human if I didn't." "I hold on to this box as a warning." "It reminds me of the depths to which a man can sink if he lets himself." "And..." "It reminds me of my mother." "(Tapping)" "Good night, J.J." "Good night, Patrick." "(Lisbon) So?" "Did you look in the box?" "And violate the man's privacy?" "Yes." "What's inside the box is of far less significance to me than what the box represents." "I just want to know why you bent over backwards for that man." "(Exhales)" "What's important to know is that a man will go to extreme lengths to find peace." "As I must do now." "What are you talking about?" "Until I come out of this room, I need to be alone, Lisbon." "Alone." "No interruptions." "But-- no distractions." "Please." "Okay." "Do what you have to do." "Thank you." "(Door closes)" "(Indistinct conversations, police radio chatter)" "Hey." "Is Jane up there?" "Yeah, but he's busy." "What's up?" "He asked me to tell him when I found the ex-con who assaulted LaRoche's mother." "Oh, no need." "It's over now." "Okay." "You want to hear something creepy, though?" "The rapist lives with his mom." "Uh, can I get that address?" "Sure." "(Train horn blowing) (Lisbon) Mrs. Saynay, one of my colleagues called you earlier." "I'm with the CBI." "You can call me Judith." "I'm Teresa Lisbon." "Uh, you people, um... need my son's help to help you solve a case?" "Is that right?" "To help solve a mystery, at least." "Scott!" "Get down here!" "You got a visitor!" "He needs a little extra motivation sometimes." "How long has your son lived with you?" "Oh... came straight out of jail." "I'd pretend to be flattered... (Chuckles)" "Uh, but I-I'm all that he's got." "Hmm." "Vice versa, too." "Mm." "(Footsteps continue)" "(Exhales)" "Hello." "I'm Agent Lisbon with the CBI." "I need you to answer some questions for me." "You mean you--you..." "You don't know?" "What?" "Scott hasn't... spoken in nine years." "Well, why?" "Well, the--the day before his trial, somebody broke into his apartment while he was sleeping, and... they injected him with a sedative and cut out his tongue." "The police, they never figured out who did it, you know, or why, or..." "Oh..." "And they never found his tongue." "(Speaks indistinctly)" "(Speaks indistinctly)" "== sync, corrected by elderman ==" "Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode."

"HOLMES:" "I present to you the human condition in all its sordid glory." "It's a bunch of guys in a cell." "We have a finite number of Friday nights in our lives." "Why are we spending one of them here?" "Because it's Friday night." "This is when the holding cells are at their busiest." "You have before you a gilded opportunity to sharpen your deductive prowess." "Each one of these men, whether they realize it or not, is telling you the story of how he came to be here." "It's written in their bearing, on their clothing." "So, look at the guy and then tell you what they did." "There's like 20 people in here." "You find that intimidating?" "Plaid shirt, very nervous, obviously never been in jail before." "Keeps fiddling with his wedding ring, feeling guilty about something, probably the hooker he picked up earlier." "Popped collar-- drunk and disorderly." "That one's a layup." "Tattoo guy is, uh..." "Would you like a hint?" "No." "His crime involves a litter of purebred Yorkshire terriers." "I said I don't want a hint." "This could take a while." "I'm gonna get a coffee." "Do you want?" "No." "MAN:" "Hey." "Can you do me next?" "Got to warn you, if you hit "latte""" "you're not going to recognize what comes out." "(laughs) I just got a coffee, thanks." "I'm Craig Basken." "I work a lot of nights." "Oh." "Joan Watson." "You're one of the, uh, the consultants, right?" "Yeah." "You work, uh, with the guy with the socks." "(laughs)" "Listen, um, I know you guys work the stuff that Captain Gregson calls you in on, but I caught this string of robberies in the West Village." "Uh, someone's knocking over falafel carts, and it's not the crime of the century and it shouldn't be that hard to clear." "But you're stuck." "Yeah, so..." "I thought maybe I'd, uh, I'd hit you up, get another perspective." "I hope that's not too much to ask." "No, no, it's not a problem." "Sherlock and I would be happy to take a look." "I said hi to that guy once, and, uh, h-he said that I interrupted his train of thought." "He, uh, called me a bell-end, so I was thinking maybe you could have a look-- just you." "Um, sure, yeah." "Great." "I'll just, uh, grab the case file." "Okay." "Hi, honey." "It's your mom." "I'm calling again." "Just wondering if you're gonna call me back before the end of the semester." "I hope you're having a great time." "I love you." "Where is your husband?" "(gasps, drops phone)" "Where is your husband?" "My, my husband-- I, I don't know." "Where is he?" "(alarm blaring)" "(banging)" "(thumping)" "(door closes)" "OPERATOR:" "911." "What's your emergency?" "Yes, a man broke into my house." "He was armed." "I shot him." "There's blood." "Is he still there, ma'am?" "Are you safe?" "I think he's gone." "Okay, he said that he came for my husband." "You have to make sure that he's okay." "Where is your husband now?" "He's working, I think." "He's with the 11th Precinct." "Your husband's a police officer?" "He's the captain there." "His name's Tommy Gregson." "♪ Elementary 2x06 ♪ An Unnatural Arrangement Original Air Date on October 31, 2013" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man" "♪" "(indistinct radio transmission)" "She's back in the kitchen, Captain." "You're okay." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "I was working out in the garage when I heard the gun go off." "All right, I'm gonna need you to walk me through everything you remember." "Is the captain all right?" "Holmes, yeah, he's fine." "He's inside with his wife." "I'm giving 'em a minute." "Hey, I said I'm giving 'em a minute." "All right." "This is Jim Monroe-- he lives across the street, got a quick look at our guy." "James Monroe?" "Yes, like the fifth president." "My dad was reading his biography when I was born." "Anyway, I heard the shots." "I saw a guy wearing a mask come running out." "He was halfway down the street by the time I got over here." "Can you describe him?" "He took his mask off while he was running, but he was almost a hundred feet away." "His back was to me." "He had dark hair." "Wish I could tell you more." "Sorry to interrupt your doctrine." "You know there's blood on the car over here?" "Yeah, Cheryl said she hit the guy." "Doesn't look like he lost much blood." "He could run, so maybe she just grazed him." "Bell, she's ready to talk." "CHERYL:" "Just seemed like it happened so fast." "He was already inside when I came home, and I..." "I don't even know how he got in." "You didn't have the alarm on?" "He had this mask on." "I can describe it to a composite artist." "He had a Glock handgun-- a 21, I think." "He was about six-two, maybe 170 pounds, and I would definitely recognize his voice if I heard it again." "Now, before tonight, had either of you two noticed anything odd-- cars you didn't recognize, anyone who seemed unusually interested in the captain?" "You?" "No." "But I'm not living here at the moment." "For how long?" "For about a month." "Mrs. Gregson, your mother just got here." "Okay." "Now, look, my wife's the victim here, I'm the target, so obviously I can't run point on this case, so let me be clear:" "I'm not running point when I tell you" "I want a rush on the prints and the serology." "If this guy's got a vendetta against a cop, there's a good chance he's in the system." "Captain." "It hardly needs saying, but Watson and I will devote our full attention to this matter." "We might need access to your files, personal and professional." "There's a good chance we'll need to examine your life in minute detail." "You don't tend to shed much light on your private affairs, so... comfortable with that?" "Whatever you need." "Just help Marcus find this guy." "WATSON:" "Did you know that Captain Gregson turned down a promotion that would have made him the youngest detective in the NYPD?" "He didn't want to work for Internal Affairs." "He is also, judging by his e-mails, surprisingly tolerant of forwarded videos of mischievous kittens." "He never talks about any of these things." "I guess I shouldn't be surprised." "I mean, none of us even knew he was separated until tonight." "I knew." "Had my suspicions, anyway." "He's been arriving earlier in the morning, leaving later, stopped bringing home-packed lunches." "Well, if you knew, then why didn't you say something to him?" "Well, why would I?" "His work hasn't suffered." "If anything, he's been slightly more focused." "Quite frankly, I'm surprised it's taken this long for the captain's marriage to buckle." "He's an excellent detective." "What does that have to do with it?" "Well, as you know, detection is a calling, not a job." "Hardly leaves one with time left over to sustain the elaborate ruse of marriage." "Because, of course, you think marriage is an elaborate ruse." "There are other ways to describe it." "An unnatural arrangement which forces its participants into an unhealthy monogamy." "An accretion of petty fights and resentful compromises which, like Chinese water torture, slowly transforms both parties into howling, neurotic versions of their former selves." "Yeah." "So, anyway, I found about 20 cases so far with perps that fit the description that Mrs. Gregson gave us." "So, I'll keep sifting through, if you want to take a look at them." "Mmm, not necessary." "I was fairly certain that listing the captain's enemies via reviewing his casework was a fool's errand." "Now I'm all but positive." "The kind of criminal the captain pursues tends to be intelligent-- the sort of person who knows that attacking a policeman is very bad business indeed." "I believe that we are hunting for a different class of person." "Someone driven by sound and fury." "An idiot." "Someone like, for example, Dustin Bishop." "There was little of interest in the captain's in-box, so I took the time to sift through his... spam filter." "Now, Mr. Bishop has been sending the captain... fan letters, I suppose you'd call them, for quite some time now." "They get more intimate with the passage of time." "More disturbing." "WATSON: "Hey, buddy, can I still call you buddy" ""even though you never write back?" ""I don't know what your problem is, but I know I'm getting upset."" "This guy sounds like a stalker." "Mmm." "Looks like just the sort of person to catch a bullet during a botched home invasion." "Don't you think?" "(elevator bell dinging)" "MAN:" "Good morning, sir." "Morning." "Hello, Captain." "Morning." "WOMAN:" "Hi, sir." "Hey." "Morning, Captain." "Hello." "Please tell me you have some actual work to talk about." "Yeah." "We just heard back from Latent Prints." "All the prints on Cheryl's car were hers." "Perp must've had gloves on." "We did get a good" "DNA sample from the blood, but there was no match in CODIS." "I know, not what we hoped for, but I got a detail together, and Holmes and Watson are off running down some Holmes-and- Watson thing, so..." "Mmm." "And I just wanted to say I'm..." "I'm sorry about you and Cheryl." "Thanks." "What else?" "I caught this case, so I have to be the one to ask-- you sure there's no way the separation's connected to what happened last night?" "Come on." "It's a trial separation." "It's... it's no big deal." "Kids are gone from home now, and everything feels a little different." "Anyway, Cheryl wants some time alone;" "I'm giving it to her." "That's the whole story." "Thanks." "Okay." "And, uh, I'll let you know when we have anything, all right?" "Dustin Bishop!" "Would you open the door, please?" "We'd like to talk to you about your correspondence with Thomas Gregson." "(water running)" "You hear the water running?" "Yeah." "After you." "(clicking)" "(water running)" "(door creaks open)" "(water running)" "He's got a gunshot wound." "He's lost a lot of blood." "Yeah." "Thanks." "So, that was the hospital." "The doctors pulled a .38-caliber slug out of Bishop's right shoulder." "He's stable, but he won't be awake for a while." "Also, we should get the preliminary" "DNA results back soon, we'll know for sure if he's the one who broke into your house." "HOLMES:" "We shouldn't waste time waiting." "The DNA won't be a match." "This guy's got my pictures all over his wall." "The doctors just took my wife's bullet out of his shoulder." "I don't believe it was your wife's bullet." "I believe that Bishop shot himself." "Surely you noted the two handguns in the bathroom." "There was a Glock 21, same as the assailant carried, and then there was the .3volver, same one used to shoot the attacker." "Why would Bishop shoot himself?" "Well, I think he intended to confess to a crime he didn't commit." "Man is clearly disturbed." "There are antipsychotic medications in the bathroom cabinet;" "they haven't been refilled in quite some time." "Two guns, a prescription." "That doesn't mean Bishop didn't do it." "No, but the fact that he shot himself in the wrong shoulder does." "The blood on your wife's car was on the driver's side window, had to have been on the left of the attacker as he fled." "Ergo, the wound was in his left shoulder." "Bishop shot himself in the right shoulder." "(phone chimes) It's the lab." "Blood's not a match." "It's wrong type." "Look, I know it's frustrating, but whoever broke into your house knows we're looking for him, he knows we got a protective detail on Cheryl, on you." "He's not getting violent again." "(gunshot)" "BELL:" "Name is Sam Clennon." "According to the evidence, you two have a friend in common." "GREGSON:" "I've never seen this guy before." "Never even heard his name." "Are you sure he was killed by the same man that threatened Mrs. Gregson?" "Sure?" "No." "But a security camera outside Mr. Clennon's building caught this around" "10:30 last night." "I already showed this to Cheryl." "She's pretty positive it's the same guy." "And Clennon was shot with a Glock 21, just like the gun she described." "Now, if this is our guy, and I'm thinking it is, got to figure this is what he had in store for you the other night." "Obviously, last night wasn't the first time someone tried to kill Mr. Clennon." "No, he's ex-mil..." "Military, yeah." "Shrapnel wounds are a bit of a giveaway." "As is the sun damage to his hands and face." "Afghanistan?" "He was between tours." "Got back a few weeks ago." "There's an old bullet wound here." "More intrigued by the stab wound." "Most injuries sustained by soldiers in the Middle East are from IED blasts or gunshots." "This man has managed to get himself stabbed." "Almost quaint." "You're sure you've never seen this guy before?" "Never." "I'm not sure I trust that answer." "Trust it." "Oh, I'm just saying it's possible there's a connection between Mr. Clennon and you, and you don't remember." "This man's death, although unfortunate, must be viewed as progress." "We now know the killer has an agenda which is not limited to you." "Watson and I will continue to pore over your case files." "If we can find a connection, maybe we can find the culprit." "Gentlemen." "We done here?" "(door opens)" "(door closes)" "One more thing." "A dog walker in your neighborhood called the precinct a little while ago, said she'd seen the same light blue pickup truck parked in front of your house on at least two occasions last week." "Light blue?" "No." "Oh, Detective Basken." "Hi." "Hi." "I just wanted to let you know that it's gonna take me a few more days before I can dig into those files, what with everything happening with Captain Gregson." "Okay." "Um... uh, Holmes didn't talk to you?" "You solved the case that Basken gave me?" "What's a Basken?" "Detective Basken." "He asked me to look into a string of robberies." "I brought the files home with me yesterday." "Oh, yes." "That Basken." "I refer to most of the detectives here as "not Bell."" "He just told me that you e-mailed him last night with the rap sheet of a guy that you thought was robbing food vendors in the West Village." "Basken just picked him up an hour ago, and he confessed." "I was up late last night ruminating the captain's case." "The files you're talking about were in the study, and I needed a palate cleanser." "A palate cleanser?" "The solution presented itself rather quickly." "Was I supposed to keep it to myself?" "It was my case." "In point of fact, Watson, it was Detective Basken's case." "You were merely consulting." "As was I." "I didn't ask you to look into it." "Nor did you ask me not to." "No, I..." "We live together, we work together, Watson." "When it comes to cases, there is no "his" or "hers";" "there is partnership." "I assist you, you assist me." "What matters is the result." "Or do you disagree?" "It's not about disagreeing..." "BELL:" "Hey, I just got the contact info for Sam Clennon's mom." "Thought you might want to come with me to make the next of kin notification, see if she can point us toward anyone who had a problem with her son." "Unless you're in the middle of something." "No." "We're good." "(sighs)" "Hey, guys." "Hot coffee." "Hi." "I didn't realize you'd be stopping by today." "Is everything okay?" "Mind if we talk inside?" "Sure." "Mikey put on some weight, huh?" "He was so skinny back when he was a uni." "I could've stirred my coffee with him." "Have you seen Steven Accorsi lately?" "Bell told me someone saw a light blue pickup parked in front of our house a few times." "And I was thinking, "Hey, wait a minute." "I know someone with a light blue pickup""" "He's a friend." "Always has been." "A friend... who's suddenly in the habit of parking in front of our house." "He came here twice." "The first time," "I just needed some help moving some furniture." "And the second?" "I made him dinner." "Nothing happened." "Nothing is going to happen." "Steven knows that." "(sighs)" "Yeah, well, maybe he's not the person" "I'm having a real problem with right now." "I'm sorry." "Do you not know the definition of the word "separated"?" "I can have dinner with whoever I want." "You said all you needed was some time." "Well, were you under the impression that I was just going to be meditating here like a monk?" "You never said anything about seeing other people." "I said that I wasn't happy." "I suppose I should just, uh, go out and pick up some... floozy at a bar." "You want to?" "Be my guest." "What I want... is to be with my wife." "Now?" "After 28 years of missed dinners and weekends at the precinct?" "Come on." "When did I ever tell you I wanted to be anything but a cop?" "When did I tell you that I was always gonna be okay with that?" "MRS. CLENNON:" "He made it through three tours in Afghanistan." "He comes back here, where he's supposed to be safe, and gets killed in his own home." "Mrs. Clennon, we think what happened to your son may be connected to a break-in at the home of a New York Police captain the other night." "Does the name Thomas Gregson mean anything to you?" "No." "Sam never mentioned him before?" "Never." "Can you think of anyone who might have wanted to hurt Sam?" "No." "Everybody liked him." "Not everyone, obviously." "There was his killer, of course, but also the person who stabbed him." "You know about that?" "Well, I noticed the mark this morning." "I-I said to my colleagues that I thought it might not be due to his military service." "Would that be correct?" "Well, yes and no." "During Sam's last tour, there was this... guy who was having trouble adjusting." "Sam knew how hard deployment could be, wanted to help, but... this guy..." "(sighs)" "Jacob, he was too far gone." "He snapped one day." "He came at Sam with a knife." "Do you remember Jacob's last name?" "Esparza." "Okay, I'll reach out to the Army, see if we can't get some current contact info on Mr. Esparza." "You could try Lieutenant Monroe." "Monroe?" "James." "He was Sam's commanding officer in Afghanistan." "He lives here in New York." "The fifth president." "WATSON:" "We talked to him outside the captain's house the other night." "I remember." "Buzz cut." "Tattoo on his arm." "Did you get a house number?" "(phone ringing)" "What?" "Captain, your assistant said you'd gone to see your wife." "Are you still there?" "I'm just leaving." "Why?" "Your neighbor, James Monroe, you need to take your wife's protective detail, go to his house." "What?" "Why?" "We now know the connection between you and the second victim, Sam Clennon." "Or, rather, we know that there is no connection." "The killer wasn't after you." "That's not what he told Cheryl." "No, he-he told her he was after her husband." "Never mentioned you by name." "O'Malley, Grell, I need you with me." "Sam Clennon served under James Monroe in Afghanistan." "They knew each other." "More importantly, if you enter" "Monroe's address into "Maps Earth,"" "a picture of your house comes up." "It's quite common, apparently." "Although instead of receiving something as mundane as a pizza ordered by your neighbor..." "I got the guy that was coming to kill him." "We need to locate" "Lieutenant Monroe before the killer realizes his mistake." "(doorbell ringing)" "James, it's Tommy Gregson." "I need to speak with you." "You home?" "(knocking)" "It's important." "BELL:" "The M.E. thought he was killed last night, just a few hours after Sam Clennon." "No prints or DNA found at the scene, but those casings were from a Glock 21." "So you were right." "This was the work of our guy." "BELL:" "Yeah, looks that way." "Now, the good news is, we think we've identified a suspect." "Name is Jacob Esparza." "He served under James Monroe in Afghanistan." "So did Sam Clennon." "Height and weight would be in line with Cheryl's description." "Clennon's mother told us he was attacked by Esparza in their barracks about a year ago." "Clennon took a knife to the gut." "Now, the incident report that Lieutenant Monroe wrote up pretty much sealed Esparza's fate." "But Esparza says it was trumped up, and that" "Monroe and Clennon had it in for him for months." "Also, given the fact that he dropped out of high school and he barely passed his GED, makes him something less than a Rhodes scholar, which makes it less surprising that he broke into the wrong house." "(phone chimes) Hmm." "Sorry." "It's Crawford and Gleason." "They just picked up Esparza at his residence." "GREGSON:" "Hey, I know I still can't take point, but let me know when they get here." "All right." "(Gregson clears throat)" "(door closes)" "You need something?" "You, uh... you glanced at me." "I beg your pardon?" "You glanced at me twice earlier on." "Yeah, I do that sometimes when someone's standing right in front of me." "Yeah, but your glances were furtive." "I was thinking about asking you something after all this is over, and then I realized how crazy it was, so I decided to keep it to myself." "You know, people can do that." "Is it something about your wife?" "I found out today that she's seen this guy that she grew up with a couple of times." ""A friend."" "He's a contractor." "He did some work on our house over the years." "So you were thinking of asking me to investigate him?" "I was thinking about, and then I reconsidered, because like I said, it was a crazy..." "Anyway, it's..." "it's probably too late." "She and I... talked." "I don't think it's gonna work out." "If you should need someone to talk to, then, please know I'll, uh..." "I'll make Watson available to you." "(laughs)" "BELL:" "You see something funny, Jacob?" "Just thinking." "Even dead, these guys are still managing to mess with me." "So you admit you weren't a fan." "No." "BELL:" "You, Jacob, are what we in law enforcement call a "cool customer."" "It's not exactly what I expected given your, uh, military record." "Yeah, probably 'cause you believed all that crap about me cracking up, right?" "There some other reason you stabbed Sam Clennon?" "I proposed to my girl right before I left for Afghanistan." "Three months into my deployment, I find out she's shacked up with my best friend." "Weren't married yet, but it still felt like adultery." "So, when I found out that one of the guys from my unit was hooking up with a girl who I knew had a husband back in the States, I took that real seriously." "You saying you stabbed Clennon because he was having an affair?" "I called him out because he was having an affair." "He got physical." "I was just defending myself." "That's not how this murdered man described the incident in his report." "Course he didn't, 'cause Clennon was the lieutenant's boy." "They were tight." "Can you account for your whereabouts the last two nights between the hours of 8:00 and 11:00 p.m.?" "I was home." "Can anyone verify that?" "Nah." "If we were to ask you to take off your shirt, would we find any fresh bullet wounds?" "I look shot to you?" "The individual we're looking for got winged the other night." "You don't have a wound, you don't have anything to worry about." "Guess I got nothing to worry about." "You're conscious." "Excellent." "We're going to Queens." "Why are we going to Queens?" "To visit the home wrecked by home-wrecker Sam Clennon, of course." "Jacob Esparza gave us the name of the woman that Clennon was sleeping with in Afghanistan." "Elizabeth Roney." "Looked into her." "Turns out, not a fellow soldier, but an archaeologist overseeing the excavation of artifacts from a Buddhist temple." "I'd say that her husband had motive to want Clennon dead." "Wouldn't you?" "Yeah, but why kill Lieutenant Monroe, as well?" "As I said the other day, Watson, monogamy is not a natural state." "In Dr. Roney's case, perhaps one affair was not enough." "(barking)" "Hey!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Oh, I'm really sorry." "She's, uh, sort of a man-hater." "Goes crazy every time some guy walks past the yard." "We weren't walking past, actually." "We were walking in." "Elizabeth Roney?" "Yeah." "Beth." "Can I help you?" "I'm sorry." "This is just a lot to take in." "Sam and I weren't together very long, but still, it's-it's hard to believe he's gone." "I'm surprised you didn't hear about what happened on the news." "I've been overseeing a dig in Kabul the last few days." "Um, ordinarily, I'd be on site, but when teaching opportunities pop up here in New York," "I take advantage of the technology." "These, um... are eight and a half hours ahead, so I've been keeping odd hours, pulling a lot of all-nighters." "Is your hus..." "(barking)" "Gotham!" "Sorry." "Like I said, problems with men." "Hmm." "Is your husband around?" "We'd like to speak with him, as well." "Why would you want to talk to Cameron?" "Sam Clennon, the man that you had an affair with in Afghanistan, was found dead, murdered in his home two nights ago." "If you were me, wouldn't you want to speak with your husband?" "Okay, there's been some confusion." "Yes, Sam and I were involved, but it wasn't an affair." "Not by a long shot." "What do you mean?" "When we met, I was excavating a site in Afghanistan called Mes Aynak." "Sam's unit was assigned as a security detail." "Before I left the states, Cameron and I were already halfway through divorce proceedings." "Yeah, technically, we were married, but we weren't a couple." "Cameron moved to Arizona to be with his new girlfriend, and I went to Mes Aynak." "Now that I'm back, I'm even mailing him some of his old stuff." "Were you ever romantically involved with Lieutenant James Monroe?" "No." "Why would you ask me that?" "Look, I wish I could tell you Cameron was some nut or bad person, but he wasn't." "Even if he knew about Sam-- which he didn't-- he would not have hurt him." "(Buddhist chants playing over stereo)" "I found the case file that Detective Basken gave me right outside my room." "I put it there." "Any particular reason?" "You seemed miffed that I'd solved it." "I thought, for your own training, you might want to review the file, see if the answer presents itself." "I don't want to solve it now." "I wanted to solve it when it was unsolved." "And I was only miffed because I didn't have a chance to..." "to figure it out on my own." "As I explained, the essence of our arrangement is partnership." "Partnership implies equality." "I'm good at this." "We both know that." "You've been solving cases since you were a kid." "I've got some catching up to do." "It takes, what, 10,000 hours to master a skill?" "This file was an opportunity for me to put some time in." "Now it's not." "Okay, I don't want busywork, thank you very much." "I want to be useful." "But you're meditating, apparently." "I'm learning everything I can about Mes Aynak." "Oh, that's the site where Beth Roney worked with those two victims, right?" "Jacob Esparza was stationed there, too." "It seems to be a crossroads in this particular puzzle." "Fascinating place." "The remains of several ancient Buddhist settlements sit atop the world's second largest copper deposit." "Six years ago, a Chinese company was granted a lease to mine the copper, but they can only do so once the site is razed." "They're just going to destroy it?" "Well, they would if they had their way." "But the plans incurred quite a bit of negative press, in response to which the Afghan government set up a rapid excavation." "The mining is currently on hold until 2014." "Anything which is not carefully removed before then will be lost forever." "But they're beautiful." "Not beautiful enough, apparently, to delay access to the world's second largest copper deposit." "James Monroe and Sam Clennon were part of the unit which was assigned to provide security for the dig, a hastily-assembled excavation of priceless artifacts." "Corners were cut." "You think they stole from the site?" "I'm casting about for motive where it's proven difficult to come by." "Was anything reported stolen?" "No." "Which could mean that the robbery was a phenomenal success." "Or that it never happened." "(sighs)" "Watson, you attempted to work through the night." "Excellent." "Hmm." "Did you sleep?" "In brief intervals." "Tea, Tibetan fried bread." "And the answer we're looking for." "What is this?" "It is a list of every artifact catalogued at Mes Aynak thus far." "The site contains nine different temples." "They've excavated seven." "In each of those temples, they have found a carved votive bowl common to Buddhist temples." "Unique to copper-rich Mes Aynak, the bowls are adorned with green copper ornamentation." "Hmm." "Interesting." "Not the answer I was looking for, but interesting." "They have found a bowl in each of the temples they've excavated, except for the last one." "The one overseen by Monroe and Clennon." "In that dig, there's no bowl." "It was thought lost to plunder or time or shelling, but I believe it was stolen." "Here is a picture of one of the bowls recovered at the site." "WATSON:" "Beth Roney had a bowl just like this in her office yesterday." "She was working with Monroe and Clennon." "She prevented it from being catalogued, and then she got it into their hands so they could remove it from the site." "Okay, why would she steal an artifact and then just leave it out in the open?" "No one even knows it's missing." "She obviously felt confident enough to hide it amongst other souvenirs from her excavations." "She isn't working alone." "We know that a man committed the murder, so she and her partner are simply eliminating the other profit participants." "Eat." "Detective Bell is procuring a search warrant." "Once we've retrieved the bowl, it should be simple enough to compel Dr. Roney to turn on her accomplice, and then we'll have to decide what to do with the rest of our afternoon." "BETH:" "This is absurd." "(dog barking) I'm a scientist." "I don't steal from my digs." "It was sitting right here." "We got a warrant." "We'll turn this place upside down." "I doubt they'll find anything." "She hid it somewhere after our visit yesterday." "I hope not-- 'cause if she did, we got nothing on her." "We searched her place from top to bottom." "There's no trace of the bowl we think she stole from the Afghan temple." "Well, it was at her house yesterday." "Sherlock and I both saw it." "Well, Ms. Roney says they're mistaken, and that she had nothing to do with the murders of Clennon or Monroe." "Obviously, our visit spooked her." "She must have passed the artifact off to her co conspirator." "We could check her cell activity, see which towers carried her signal." "That way we'd have a rough idea where she went." "She spent all night on two videoconference calls." "15 archaeologists on two different continents confirm she wasn't away from her computer longer than five minutes." "In all likelihood, her accomplice came to her, removed the bowl and all other incriminating evidence." "Yeah, well, without proof, we don't have much choice." "We have to let her go." "(sighs)" "(Buddhist chants playing over stereo)" "(needle scratches record)" "I'm giving up on meditation." "Because we haven't figured out who Beth Roney's partner is yet?" "We've only been at it for a couple of hours." "We can't even find any suspects to evaluate." "She seems to have no boyfriend, no close friends." "To put a finer point on it:" "no friends of any sort." "Her every waking hour is occupied by work." "Mmm, wonder what that's like." "Where'd that come from?" "Oh." "The attic." "It's for you." "It is without doubt my most loathed article of furniture." "I'm touched." "I was thinking about what you said yesterday about wanting to improve yourself." "I support the instinct." "But when it comes to investigation," "I cannot restrict myself to your current pace." "And the trunk is gonna help me how?" "Inside, you will find files on several cold cases." "My cold cases." "They are the handful of mysteries in all of my career which have eluded my powers of deduction." "So the next time you wish to hone your skills on a solo venture, I encourage you to peruse them." "I've already given them my all." "Mmm." "So there's little risk that I will arrive at a solution before you." "(soft chuckle)" "You might even succeed where I have failed." "Thanks." "Anyway..." "(clears throat) these are Detective Bell's canvass reports." "Useless." "None of Dr. Roney's neighbors heard or saw anyone approaching her house between our two visits." "No one heard anything-- but her partner was there." "Her partner who we know is a man." "(barking)" "BELL:" "You want to get your dog under control?" "No." "I don't." "You're not welcome here." "None of you are." "Well, you can do it, or Officer Dunn here can." "It's your choice." "Gotham!" "Come on." "(door closes)" "So, let me guess." "You have another warrant?" "We do-- only this one is of the "arrest" variety." "(chuckles) What?" "BELL:" "We've identified the man who shot Sam Clennon and James Monroe." "Your ex-husband, Cameron Hecht." "HOLMES:" "We had the right man the other day, just wrong motive." "He didn't kill your old partners because of some tryst;" "he killed them because he was your new partner." "That's insane." "I told you, we got divorced over a year ago." "And then you reconciled." "According to him, at least." "You talked to Cameron?" "HOLMES:" "At great length." "You told us he was in Arizona, but a quick check of his recent credit card activity revealed he was, in fact, in New York." "He had much the same look on his face when we knocked on his hotel room door last night." "WATSON:" "As soon as we made it clear how it simple it was to compare his DNA to the blood droplets he left at the captain's house, he rolled on you." "He told us about the bowl you stole and a few other artifacts, how you thought you could get over a million dollars for them." "How did we think to look for him, you ask?" "Well, you have your femi-Nazi hound to thank for that." "(barking) WATSON:" "Your neighbors didn't recall hearing anything unusual between our two visits, including the barking of your dog." "Curious." "We know that your partner was a man, and that he'd managed to get in and out of your home without upsetting her." "So was it someone that she had grown used to over time, or was it someone that she'd simply never forgotten?" "BELL:" "Beth Roney, you have the right to remain silent." "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "(knocking)" "Come in." "What's that?" "Background check on Steven Accorsi." "I never gave you his name." "You told me that he was a contractor who'd done some work on your home, so I looked at some building permits that had been issued..." "I told you I didn't want you doing anything about it." "Well, I wanted to help." "Aside from a few unpaid parking tickets, your wife's suitor appears to be above board." "Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear." "No, you keep that." "I..." "I don't want it." "(exhales)" "Hmm." "Your wife is aware that you didn't like him, correct?" "Your feelings were..." "clear to her?" "Only for the last 30 years, yeah." "Why?" "Well, it's just..." "interesting, out of... all the men she could have entertained, she chose the one most likely to elicit a reaction from you." "Maybe she thought I deserved it." "(sighs)" "Mmm." "Pictures of you around the house, it's odd that they're still on display." "No?" "Well, we haven't told the kids about the separation yet." "She's just..." "keeping up appearances." "You should know, Captain, I usually cheer the end of any marriage." "As an institution, I think it's outlasted its usefulness by quite a large... margin." "Huh." "And yet I've come to appreciate the premise of partnership." "It's far more intricate than I had previously imagined." "The very smallest gesture can speak volumes." "You're telling me not to give up?" "I'm telling you, you should never have entered into the charade that is wedded matrimony." "(laughs softly)" "You had a partner." "Perhaps you still do." "(doorbell rings)" "(laughing):" "Hi." "Who's this?" "Hi!" "Her name's Gotham." "Her owner's gonna be away for a while." "But I got to warn you, she's got a thing about strange men." "(chuckling):" "I had to give her half a roast beef sandwich to get her in the car." "Oh, doesn't like strange men-- now I get it." "Hi." "I wanted you to know that I understand that this separation isn't just some... waiting period." "I put you in second position for too long." "And you deserve better." "So I'm gonna work to give it to you." "I'm not gonna push." "You need space." "I respect that." "But I'm not gonna throw in the towel." "You take this time, do what you got to do, and I'll take it, too." "♪" "Figure out what I can do better." "Thank you." "Good night, sweetheart." "♪" "♪" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man"

"What that bull, right?" "It was a total waste of time." " Dude, that was the best party ever." " Yeah, but... why don't we get to leave?" "I mean, we still got time." "Becky Morgan's having people over." "She said her folks are in Aspen." "All right, good." "We're there." "Right." "Dude, you're bombed." "The limo's that way." " I gotta take a leak." " If you hurl, I'm outta here." "Come here." "Someone really did a number on her." "How old?" "I'd say 14, tops." "Cause of death?" "Looks like blunt force trauma." "She fall off that boat?" "Based on the damage to her extremities, she's been in the river at least two weeks." "She doesn't look that decomp'd." "Cold water acts as a natural refrigerant." "Well, depending on the current, she could've been dumped Uptown, Bronx, Brooklyn." "Our crime scene could be anywhere." "Another one raped, beaten, and thrown away like garbage." "Another one?" "See the tattoo?" "Dog's paw print." "She's the third rape-homicide victim in six months with that tattoo." "Why didn't we hear about the first two?" "They weren't in Manhattan." "Sandra Garner, 16, runaway from Wichita, dumped at a junkyard in hunt's point." "South Bronx is a long way from Kansas." "We haven't ID'd this girl." "Body was in the weeds by Newtown creek." "After she was found, Brooklyn sent out a memo about the tattoo." "Perfect match." "What'd their autopsies show?" "Lots of brutality." "Both victims had multiple skull fractures, but no imprint of a weapon." "Perp beat them to death with his fists?" "You get a suspect, check for scarred knuckles." "Three dead girls in six months." "How many more are out there?" "That tattoo is a death sentence." "Å©¸®½º ¸á·Î´Ï (¿¤¸®¾ù ½ºÅ×ÀÌºí·¯ Çü"ç æµ)" "¸¶¸®½´Ä" ÇÏÁöÅ×ÀÌ (¿Ã¸®ºñ¾Æ º¥½¼ Çü"ç æµ)" "¸®Â÷µå º§Àú (Á¸ ¸ÕÄ¡ Çü"ç æµ)" "´ÙÀÌ¾È ´Ò (ÄÉÀ̽à ³ë¹Ú °Ë"ç æµ) ¾ÆÀ̽º-Ƽ (¿À´ÙÇÉ "ÇÉ" Æ©Æ©¿Ã¶ó Çü"ç æµ)" "B.D. ¿Õ (FBI Á¤½ÅºÐ¼®ÀÇ Á¶Áö Ȳ æµ)" "Ÿ¸¶¶ó Æ©´Ï (¸á¸°´Ù ¿ö³Ê °Ë½Ã°ü æµ)" "´í Ç÷ηº (µ· Å©·¹ÀÌ°Ç °æ°¨ æµ)" "Law Order SVU 8x07." "Underbelly" "ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON NBC: 2006/11/14" "So what are we dealing with here?" "All the dead girls are linked by that tattoo, could be gang, cult, some kind of group they all belong to." "Yeah, but without an ID, We don't have a place to start. / Yeah." "You guys have any luck with the tattoo?" "Sorry." "It's not gang ink." "And nobody sporting paw prints have been arrested." "It could be something vanilla." "A lot of girls love snoopy." "Maybe they're animal rights activists or future Yalies." ""Bulldog, bulldog, bow, wow, wow." "Go, Yale?"" "Inking styles are distinctive, just like handwriting." "Maybe a good tattoo artist might recognize the style." "I know a guy we can talk to." "Miguel Alvarez." "He does great work." "What, you got a tat?" " You do, don't you?" " Maybe." "Let's have a look." "See if your guy's as good as you say he is." "Take my word for it." "I'll show you mine." "It wouldn't be a fair trade." "This is my work." "No one else in the city even come close." "But this, uh..." "Anyone could do this." "I know that, Miguel." "You're an artist." "But I just thought you might recognize it." "I see the Mona Lisa, I know she is Da Vinci." "But you're asking me who drew a stick figure." ""No minors allowed." Do you enforce that?" "You bet I do." "I check IDs, make a Xerox for my files." "Health department catches me tatting a kid..." "I lose my license." "You know anyone who'd work on a 14-year-old?" "There is a guy in Brooklyn, Lenny Culp." "Ex-con, learned to ink in the joint." "Can't get a license because of his record." "LENNIE'S TATTOOS 113 FULTON STREET BROOKLYN, NEW YORK FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20" "Yo, Lenny." "Police." "Hey, it ain't what it looks like." "He brought a note from home." "My son did a better job of forging my signature when he was 8 years old." "When your mother sees this, she's gonna kick your butt." "Are you kidding?" "She's gonna love it." ""Mo?" / No, no, no. "Mom." See, he's not done yet." "Yes, he is." "Go home." "No." "You can't make me go out there like this." "Bye-bye." "Get lost." "Hey, look, that's not good for business." "You want to stay in business, you better tell us about these girls." "Take your time." "After all you just tattooed a minor, which is a criminal charge, and a parole violation." "Okay, look, I did them all, but they told me they were over 18." "College cheerleaders." "They look old enough to be in college?" "They looked pretty enough to be cheerleaders." "See, they're hot, right?" " Girl on the right?" " Yeah?" "St. Ambrose." "Go, Chantal, go, Chantal, go, Chantal, go!" "Chantal loved st." "Ambrose." "I enrolled her when ACS placed her with me." "You paid Catholic school tuition for a foster child?" "Chantal deserved every advantage I could give her." "She had so much potential." "She was trying out for cheerleading." " Did she make it?" " She never got the chance." "Right before tryouts, ACS sent her back to that no-good mother of hers." "Why was Chantal in foster care?" "Mother was an addict." "Crack." "Chantal was only a baby when she was taken away." "She came to me when she was eight." "I wanted to adopt her." "And what stopped you?" "The good people at ACS said the mother cleaned up and wanted her back." "More like she wanted the welfare check." "You fought to keep her." "My lawyer said there was nothing I could do." "The rights of the biological parent matter more than the safety of a child." "God knows what that crazy woman did to her." "I knew that girl was gonna come to a bad end. / Why?" "She was nothing but trouble from the day she came home, acting like she was better than me, getting people involved in my business." "What'd she do?" "Told her school that my boyfriend was touching on her." "They called ACS, say I got to put Ricky out?" "Hey, watch it!" " Where's your boyfriend now?" " At work." " He wasn't arrested?" " Hell, no." "ACS say he couldn't live with us, so I told them to take her." "You picked your boyfriend over your daughter?" "I wasn't gonna put Ricky out over her lies." "So what happened to Chantal?" "ACS sent her to a group home." "Look here." "If that place let my baby get killed, you think I got me a lawsuit?" "Is that all you care about?" "Making money off your dead daughter's body?" " Bitch, get out of my face!" " Calm down." "Calm down." "Now, where's this group home?" "What's the name of it?" "Broder house on Fountain avenue." "I know you want to smack her in the mouth." "And you don't?" "She's not worth it." "So we just walk away?" "No, we get the perv who killed her daughter." "BRODER HOUSE GROUP HOME 547 FOUNTAIL AVENUE BROOKLYN, NEW YORK FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20" "Chantal Vanner." "AWOL'd a few weeks after she got here." "Did you look for her?" "We don't have the manpower." "She was only 14." "Do you know how many of these girls take off?" "Hundreds." "We filed a missing persons report and sent a registered letter to the family." "Mother never got it." "She probably threw it away with her unpaid bills." "So you just sat on your lazy ass and said, "my job's done."" "We do the best we can." "That girl needed your help." "Now she's dead." "Any idea where Chantal might've gone?" "Most of them run away to be with a boyfriend." "Right." "She have one?" "Ask them." "Someone might know." "A lot of guys come around the group home." "House full of girls." "You know how it is." "Why don't you tell me how it is?" "Boys come by, we kick it outside." "Chantal ever kick it with anyone?" "There was this one guy, Victor." "He was talking to her all the time." "Tell me about Victor." "He has this SUV, all tricked out." "He'd drive Chantal to the store and bought her chips and soda and stuff." "Did Chantal run away to be with Victor?" "He asked her to." "He said he'd treat her right, buy her clothes, jewelry, whatever she wanted." "But I told her not to trust him." "You did?" "How come?" "Because they're all the same." " Boys?" " Pimps." "Chantal run off to be his ho." "Dani, what are you still doing here?" "It's late." "Go home." "We got three dead girls so far and you want me to get my beauty sleep?" "We're working on fumes." "Let's just get some sleep and start fresh tomorrow, huh?" "This can't wait." "Right now, there is a child prostitute about to get into the car with a psycho John who'll beat her to death, just like Chantal." "Do you know how many Chantals there are out there?" "Look, let's just hit the streets, find some girls, question them about violent Johns." "And where do you think we should look?" "Where do we go?" "Did you talk to Vice, find out where the baby hookers stroll?" "The main track for underage girls is in East New York." "I talked with Vice, and we've set up a sting for tomorrow night." "Dani, you can't get over-involved in all this stuff." "Every one of these cases will break your heart." "Think we could head out there tonight?" "Can't be more than 13." "My youngest is her age." "How can you stand this, knowing what's gonna happen to that girl when she gets into the car?" "We just need to sit tight." "Hey, baby." "You want to take me for a ride?" "I can't watch this." "Look, the more Johns that come through here, the better chance we got of catching Chantal's killer." "One of those girls has got to know something." "This is alpha one." "All units, let's go." " Police!" " You." "Over there." "Come on!" " Line up!" " Over, there." " Move it!" "Up against the wall." " Let's go!" "Come on!" "Come on!" " Let's go." "Up against the wall." " Up against the wall." "Let's go." "Over here." "All right, now, I want you to focus on something here." "Who knows these ladies?" "You seen her?" "Hmm?" "Come on." "They've worked this track." "Know this girl?" "Never seen this girl?" "How about you?" "I don't know nothing." " You're lying." " I still don't know nothing." "All right, turn around." "Hands against the wall." "Elliot?" "Come here." " What's your name?" " Passion." "Your real name." "Don't play with me." "Belinda Holt." "Belinda, do you know any of these girls?" "No." "They all got the same tattoo as you do, now they're dead." "No." "They can't be dead." "They were adopted." "These girls weren't adopted, Belinda." " Yes, they were." " No." " You stupid cops don't know anything." " Listen, they were murdered!" "I don't believe you!" " There's a guy out there killing girls just like you." "You're a liar. / Really?" "You want to see the autopsy photos?" " You're lying." " All right, fine." " See for yourself." " Stop." "Leave me alone!" "I want Victor." "I want to talk to Victor." "Who's Victor?" "He's my boyfriend." "He's your pimp." "He makes you work for him." "He doesn't make me do anything." "I love him." "We're getting married when I'm old enough." "They work for Victor?" "That's Amber." "Her name used to be Sandra, but Victor changed it." "That's Chantal, and Monique." "We're sisters." "Were they adopted?" "By this rich guy, just like in the movie with Julia Roberts." ""Pretty woman?"" "It's my favorite." "I've seen the DVD, like, a hundred times." "Who's this rich guy?" "He comes to the track, and if a girl is really, really nice, he takes her away to live with him." "I dated him once, and he didn't pick me." "Victor said I wasn't good enough." "Well, when you dated him, did he hit you?" "He spanked me." "But a lot of guys like to do that." "What else do you know about this guy?" "He's white, old." " But he was still kinda cute." " Do you know his name?" "Amber peeked in his wallet once when he dropped it in the car." "She said his name was Blake." "And what kind of car does Blake drive?" " Benz." "Big black SUV." " Nice." "Anything more you want to tell us about Blake?" "When Chantal got adopted, Victor said she was living on 5th avenue." "DMV's got 19 white guys, first or last name "Blake,"" "with black Mercedes SUVs." "Four with 5th avenue addresses." "But only one with a habit of beating on women." "Blake Peters, 45, managing partner of a White-shoe law firm." "He have a record?" "Well, his ex-wife filed a bunch of domestic violence reports." "All cases dismissed with ACD anger management courses." "Always knew those were a crock." "Oh, he's a big-shot, huh?" "Society page." "Oh, yeah, "Mr. Blake Peters enjoys tennis, polo, and water sports."" "And preferably with underage girls." "And he's remarried." "New wife looks barely legal." "Wonder if he smacks her around." "I'm detective Tutuola." "This is detective Munch." "Is it Blake?" "Has something happened?" "He's fine, Mrs. Peters." "We just need to talk to him." " He's not home." " Do you know where he is?" " What's this about?" " It's confidential." "But I can tell you that it involves one of his major clients and they need your husband's help and his discretion." "It's always something, isn't it?" "Blake's at the office." "LAW OFFICES OF PETERS, LARIET AND KAPLAN 44 WEST 52ND STREET FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20" "Mr. Peters?" "Here?" "This late?" "You gotta be kidding." "Partners are all outta here by happy hour." "Well, you got any idea where he might be?" "He doesn't share his social calendar with first-year associates." "Come on, man." "Help a brother out." "My captain's gonna put me on permanent midnights if I don't find him." "And if I don't get this distribution exactly right, my ass will be on the streets." "Sorry, brother." "Guess the only color he cares about is green." "Elliot, we struck out at Peters' office." "Our guy's in the wind." "Wherever Peters is, let's hope he's not paying cash." " Who're you calling?" " My contact at the credit bureau." "I can get the most recent activity on all his cards." "WALLIS INN 59 GOLD STREET FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20" "Mr. Peters checked in two hours ago, no luggage." " With a companion?" " Mrs. Peters." "Very pretty." "And very young." "I did notice that, yes." "Are you sure it's legal for me to do this?" "My manager might not like it." "Well, if this motel is being used for prostitution, we can padlock it as a public nuisance." "I think your manager'd be very pissed off about that." "Here we are." "What do I say?" "Mr. Peters, um, I'm very sorry, but there is a problem with your credit card." "I'll come out in a minute." "Please, sir." "I'm afraid I'll have to run the card again, or you'll have to vacate the room." " I assume you take cash." " Oh, yes." "Then we're done." "No, you're done." "Get over here." "Blake Peters, you're under arrest for statutory rape." "You have the right to remain silent." "If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "I told you, I'm 19." "You got ID?" " Yeah." " Have a seat." " Yeah, it's in here somewhere." " Sure it is." "There." "See?" ""Date of birth 10/10/87."" "And my name really is Candy." "How long you've been working the streets?" "Are you kidding me?" "I go to Manhattan tech." "Can't afford the tuition?" "My parents help." "And I work in a restaurant." "That's where I met Blake." " When?" " Tonight." "He was sitting at the bar." "He started flirting with me." "I saw the wedding ring on his finger, but I felt like partying." "It's really not that big of deal." "It was to the girls he killed." "I didn't kill anyone." "What did you do to your knuckles?" "I do a lot of work on my car." "You can't afford a mechanic?" "I have a '72 Ferrari Daytona spyder." "No one touches my baby but me." "So you don't share your toys." "And when you're done playing with them, do you break them?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "Amber." "Chantal." "Monique." "You tricked with all three of them, huh?" "Yes." "But I didn't hurt them." "You screw little girls off the street, and you don't think you hurt them?" "They love it." "They told me." "Hey, pal, you're paying them for sex." "What the hell do you think they're gonna tell you, huh?" " You're a lousy lover?" " It was wrong." "I'm sorry." "Are you sorry?" "Take a look at these." "You're so sorry that you raped all three of these girls and battered them to death?" " No." " No?" "Don't lie to me." "Take a look at them." "Now you hit them over and over and over until they were dead." "I didn't kill those girls." "I wanted to help them get off the street." "By adopting them?" "I told Amber I wanted to help her get out of the life." "But that son of a bitch, Victor threatened to beat my brains in with a baseball bat if I ever tried to snatch one of his girls again." "Excuse me." "I'm looking for detective Stabler." "He's in interrogation." "Maybe I can help you?" "I'm his partner, Dani Beck." "Oh, no." "That's okay." "Um, is the captain in his office?" "Sure." "Good." "Olivia." "When did you get back?" "Couple of days ago." "And One P.P. forgot to notify me." "I haven't got a spot for you." "Warrants sent a body to partner with Elliot." "Yeah, I just met her." "How's that working out?" "It was a rough start, but it's all good now." "I can shift Beck out, but it may take a little time to find her a new home." "No." "Don't." "I'm not ready to come back." "That's what I came to tell you." "You're gonna leave without seeing Elliot?" "Well, he's busy." "I'll, I'll, uh," "I'll catch up with him later." "And, um..." "don't tell him I was here." "I think we're going about this thing all wrong." "We got to look at the girls' pimp." "What makes you think Peters isn't putting this on Victor to save his own life?" "'Cause it took an awful lot of rage to beat those girls to death." "I don't think Peters has the stomach for it." "He puked when he saw the photos." "Fear can do that." "He's facing life in Attica." "I don't know." "Why would Victor kill his own moneymakers?" "The girls want to leave with Peters." "Victor's not gonna let that happen." "Pimp loses control of his stable, he's out of business." "We gotta look at Victor." "Trust me on this." "Okay." "I'll re-interview Belinda," " see if I can get Victor's address." " We'll talk to her together." "Let me do it alone." "Trust goes both ways." "All yours." "Victor doesn't like it if we talk about his business." "He gets really angry." "When he gets angry, does he hit you?" "Sometimes, if we don't work hard enough, get a lot of dates." "What about your sisters?" "One time, Monique got an extra big tip, and she wanted to keep it for a new dress, but Victor caught her holding out on him." " And he hurt her." " Real bad." "Her nose was broke and her eye was all messed up." "And she couldn't work for a week." "I miss her." "I don't have any pictures of us." "Can I keep this?" " Sure." " Thanks." "I asked Victor if I could go see them after they were adopted, but he said they were Uptown girls now." "They didn't want to see me, that I'd embarrass them in front of their rich friends." "Now you know that's a lie." "Because they're dead." "It's gonna be okay." "It's gonna be okay." "If you think I can't do an interview, say so, but don't spy on me." "I'm not your precious Olivia, I know that, but I'm a good cop. / I know that." "So why don't you trust me, the same way I trust you?" " I do." "I wanted to introduce you to Sister Peg." "She runs an outreach program for hookers." "Sex workers, Elliot." "I thought she could help us out with Belinda." "This is my new partner, Dani Beck." "Elliot told me you were on fire." "Glad to see he's right." "Helping these girls takes a lot of passion." "Thanks." "Sister Peg, you want to give it a shot?" "Sure." "Good." "While they get to know each other, we can go pick up Victor." "Belinda gave up an address." "The house she lives in, it belongs to a woman called Venice." "Victor waits there every night to collect the money. / Good." "RESIDENCE OF VENICE JONES 73 EAST 16TH STREET BROOKLYN, NEW YORK FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20" "Police, Venice." "Open up!" " Coming." " Now!" "I'm getting my clothes on." "Open the damn door or the whole street's gonna see you naked." "You got a warrant?" " Where is Victor?" " Victor who?" "Your pimp boyfriend." "Two of you get your kicks turning out little girls." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Don't rip my cushions." "Gotta check for weapons." "You won't find nothing." "I expect scum like Victor to turn out little girls, but you, a woman, helping him out?" "You're worse than he is." "Sit down." "Where is he?" " I haven't seen him all night." " Sit down." "He's not here." "Told you." "Now get out of my house." "I said sit down." "Stand over here." "I paid a lot for that sofa!" "Then why won't you sit on it?" "Hello, Victor." "Find the remote?" " Don't hurt him." " Call my attorney." "Call my attorney." "Call my attorney." "Tell him the charge is murder, three counts." "John Victor Bodine." "Couple of nickels for assault, one armed robbery." "That's ancient history, man." "You could say I learned the error of my ways." "You just learned an easier way to make money." "Girls take all the risks, you get all the rewards." "You see my rap sheet." "I ain't no virgin." "I know how the game is played." "You come in here, start hollering, probably beat me down." "Then my attorney comes in, and I walk." "I don't think so." "Chantal, Monique, Amber." "What's up?" "You killed them." "Now why would I kill them pretty young things?" "You feel me?" "I love my girls." "You got a funny way of showing it, making them screw strangers so you can buy your huggy bear threads there?" "Aw, come on, now." "I ain't never made a woman do nothing she don't wanna do." "But now the things they do for love..." "And you tell them you love them all the time, don't you?" "Over and over every day?" "I'm an entrepreneur." "I see a need, I fill it." "Look, man, these girls are society's trash." "You people throw them away." "I take them in, give them a home, family." "They call you "daddy?"" "You got kids, right?" "Kids need structure." "If I don't maintain some type of discipline, they'll walk all over my ass." "You like that, huh?" "You've got a lot of mileage on those mitts of yours." "Golden glove." "Used to box." "Undefeated." "Now you just knock out little girls." "So what man, you gonna lock up every cat in town with a sharp right hook?" "No, just you." "Man, please." "I'm about to walk up out that door, bro." "Come tomorrow, you gonna be wondering what happened." "I'll be on the beach in the Dominican, watching my girl splash around in the pool, sipping on a Cuba libre, smoking a cohiba." "Enjoying their weak extradition policy." "You know, Venice did tell me I need a vacation." "I'm gonna be so close, and you can't even touch me." "You'll still be my bitch." "We need you to sign this statement against Victor Bodine." "He never did anything to me." "He turned you out." "I told you already, I wanted to do it." "He didn't make me." " But you gave the money to Victor." " So?" "That's a crime, honey." "If you put Victor in jail, where will I live?" "I've got no one else." "What about your family?" "Where are they?" "Back in Toledo." "We can send you back there." "Oh, to a double-wide full of brats?" "My mom blobbed out in front of the TV all day watching her stories?" "To my liquored-up step-daddy crawling into my bed every night?" "There are good foster parents out there." "No thanks." "No one's ever taken care of me except Victor." "He's my daddy now." "Would you like to stay with me?" "You'll just turn me in to children's services. / No, I won't." "Look, I know the rules." "I'm a minor." " The judge decides where I live." " And I'm a nun, which means I only take orders from the man upstairs." "Now what do you say?" "I don't know." " You still have that picture I gave you?" " Yeah." "Look at it." "Look at it." "Now I know you loved your sisters." "But they're gone, because Victor hurt them." "He wouldn't hurt me." "He loves me." "Oh, yeah, just like he loved Amber and Chantal and Monique." "But he killed them." "No." "No." "Deep down, you know it's true." "He made you believe they were living happily ever after on 5th avenue." "But he threw them away like trash." "They aren't trash." "That's right." "And neither are you." "Are you..." "Are you sure I can stay with you?" "Absolutely." "Okay." "I'll sign it." "Docket ending 6168, John Victor Bodine." "Promoting prostitution in the second degree." "How does the defendant plead?" "Not guilty, your honor." "The people request high bail, your honor." "The defendant is a prime suspect in the murders of three teenage girls." "That's an outrageous request." "She's just trying to prejudice this court against my client." "I'm merely making sure your honor has all the relevant facts." "This defendant prostituted a 14-year-old girl." "Well, if that's the case, why hasn't she been arrested?" " Excuse me?" " Prostitution's a crime." "If this young girl was selling herself on the streets, why isn't she being arrested?" " She's a victim." " She's a whore." "That's enough, Mr. Horowitz." "Bail is set at 500,000." "We're in recess." "Better put that Dominican vacation on hold." "Pimping a kid's a C felony." "I convict him, you've got 15 years to build your murder case." "It won't take that long." "Well, there's not much more you can do tonight." "Go home." " Get some sleep." " I'm too keyed-up." "Anybody up for a drink?" "You should've seen her with Belinda." "She was great." " Don't act so surprised." " She can't take a compliment." "How often do you give them to her?" "I don't remember the last time he said something nice to me." " I'm not that bad." " Yeah, you are." "Hey, it's why we like you." "There's nothing worse than a sensitive man." " Hey, Case." " Hey, Marcus." "Hold up." "He's an ADA with homicide." "I gotta talk to him." "Thanks for the drink." " I gotta get home." " You left your car at the squad." " I'll take a cab." " No." "I got mine out back." " Sure?" " Let me drop you off." " It's a 911 from Cragen." " Yeah." "Me, too." "Yeah, captain." "When?" "All right, we'll meet you there." "Yeah." "Sister Peg was attacked." "She's in the hospital." " Where's Belinda?" " Gone." "How's Sister Peg?" "Well, she took a beating, but she's gonna be all right." " What happened?" " Well, we don't know." "A neighbor heard a fight, went to check, and found Peg on the floor, unconscious." " Belinda wasn't there?" " No." "And there was no sign of forced entry." "You think Belinda attacked her?" "No way. / Well, look, Sister Peg will tell us when she wakes up, so..." "I take it you want to wait and interview her?" " Yeah." "I'll head back and get everybody searching for Belinda." "You think Cragen's right?" "You think Belinda attacked her?" " She could be your daughter." " No." " Belinda's not a child anymore." " That's crap." "Look, once girls get pulled down by the street, they're capable of anything." "Detectives?" "The sister's awake, medicated, but you can talk to her." "Sorry." "Couldn't stop him." "It wasn't Belinda who attacked you?" "No." "It was a man." "There was a knock on the door." "I opened it, and he shoved me back into the apartment." "I fell, then he..." "I tried to get up, and he kicked me." "Couldn't breathe." "Yeah, the doctor said he cracked a couple ribs." "He took her." "I tried to stop him, but he hit me in the head a couple of times, and I... passed out." "Okay." "What'd he look like?" "Thin, dark-skinned, scar on his face." " How the hell did Victor make bail?" " He didn't." "Bodine's still in the pens, waiting for transport to Rikers." " You're sure." " I got it right here." ""Bodine, John Victor." "Bail 500 large."" "Bodine!" "Step to the front." "Never question the power of the clipboard." "That's not Victor Bodine." " What's your name?" " I already told you..." "Just tell me your name again." "Jason Yount." "Jason Yount bailed out three hours ago." " What're you in for, Jason?" " A fare beat." "I forgot my metrocard, and I was late for work." "So you jumped the turnstiles?" "Smart, like getting involved with Victor Bodine." "Now why would you do this for somebody you just met?" "I know Victor all my life, feel?" "He a legend in my neighborhood." "Tonight, we meet up in here, we get to talking, you know, man-to-man." "And he asked you to do him a favor?" "He said it was gonna take till morning to raise the cash for his bail." "He was jammed up, 'cause he had some important business." " Couldn't wait." " So you let him take your place." "He said his lawyer was gonna post for him in a couple hours." "I'd get out, and no one would know." "And he'd give me a Ipod." "You threw away your future for an Ipod?" " What you talking about?" " Jail break, it's a felony charge." "Yo, man, I didn't escape." "I'm right here." "Yeah, but Victor Bodine isn't." "Now you've got one chance to make this right." "What do I gotta do?" "Tell us where you're meeting Victor for your payment." "He said I could catch him at Venice's crib as soon as I got out." "Last time I saw Victor, you were dragging him out of here in handcuffs." "What, you lose him?" "Guess you lost him too." " What're you talking about?" " Victor's on the run, but he went to a lot of trouble to take Belinda with him." "That skanky little ho?" "I guess he thought she'd look better than you, topless... on the beach in the D.R." "A man wants quality eye candy on his arm while he's sipping on a rum and coke." "That was my trip." "He promised me." "Look, all you've got to do is tell us where Victor keeps his money, and we can reschedule that flight." "You're gonna let him do you like that?" "Bastard's got a loft down by the river near the Williamsburg bridge." "VICTOR BODINE'S LOFT 3 NORTH 11TH STREET WILLIAMSBURG, NEW YORK FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20" "Where my cell phone?" "I, I don't..." "I don't know." "I knew I saw you playing with it the other day!" "What did I tell you about touching my stuff, huh?" " I'm sorry, Victor." " So where is it?" " Belinda." " No!" "Victor, police!" "It's over." "The hell it is." " I'm getting out of here." " Can't let you do that." "Your choice." "Don't hurt her, Victor." "Then back up." "Both of you." "Victor, you can walk away." "Just let her go." "No." "No, Victor, I don't wanna leave you." "Don't worry about it, baby." "You ain't leaving me." "Nobody taking you from me." "You know I love you, right?" " Huh?" " Yeah." "Get the bag for daddy." "Get the bag." "That's a good girl." "Yo, Belinda, say good-bye to your little friends for me, baby." "Go, go, go!" "Come on." "Come on, come on!" "Come on, come on!" "We have to slow down." "Come on!" " My ankle hurts." " Come on, bitch." "Victor!" "I can't go that fast." " Please." "We have to..." " Belinda, come on!" "Victor, let her go!" "Victor, let her go." " Victor!" " Shut up!" " What are you doing?" " Drop the gun, or I'll throw her," "I swear to god I'll throw her." "Drop the gun!" "Victor!" "Victor, god!" "Victor!" "Victor, please!" "He's going out the back!" "Don't leave me." "All right, Belinda, hold on." "Take my hand." " I can't." " Take my hand." "I can't." "Come on." "That's it." "Up!" "Grab on." "Stop!" "Stop!" " Can I see him?" " No." "That's not a good idea." "He loved me." "No one else has ever loved me." "You okay?" "All right, come on." "Let me drive you home." "I need to be alone."

"Previously on Aquarius..." " I'm Charlie Manson." " How do you know my name?" "My daughter, Emma, she's gone." "If you can keep it quiet, there are people who'd appreciate it." "Get my little girl back." "What, are you afraid of the cops?" "Relax." "I want him, not you." "That Shafe kid." "You volunteering to give him the buzz cut?" "So wait." "I report to you?" "Look, I didn't crack some secret hippie code to tell you what they're really saying." "Name Manson ring a bell?" "Your husband was his lawyer." "I don't think this is about Manson and your daughter." "It's about Manson and your husband." "She's sweet, that little Emma." "Don't." "I don't understand how..." "How?" "A knife, how." "And you fought him?" "Why?" "I'm not gonna let some little spic get my... my... my watch, my wallet..." "How'd you fight him off?" "The briefcase." "What?" "Just thought there might be scratch marks from the struggle." "What happened to your pants?" "Is there a reason you're here, Detective?" "He knows who Emma's with." "All right." "Just tell me where." "I'll go pick her up." "Name Charles Manson ring a bell?" "No." "You sure?" "Well, that's..." "I knew him years ago, but what does this have to do..." "Emma's with him." "What?" "Why?" " He's your client." " Ex-client." "Has he contacted you?" "Grace, what the hell is this?" "Just tell us everything." "Us?" "You can go, Detective." "I have the commissioner's home number on my desk, right next to the mayor's." "We can sure do this." "Ken's secretary, you like her?" " No." " She a little afraid of you?" "More than a little, I hope." " Why?" " Ask her for a favor." "And don't tell Ken." "I was just in the kitchen, Charlie." "Um..." "Did you know there's nothing to eat?" "Like, not a crumb." "Come here, little thing." "Sit." "I know your hunger's real." "So's mine." "So's everybody's." "But you know what's bigger than that?" "Your power." "Look." "Sadie and Katie are using their power to work on the dream." "You know what the dream is, right?" "Of course." "Your music." "So tell me, what are you doing for the dream?" "I... haven't thought of anything." "Come look." "Can you see me on the cover of one of these?" "Dressed like this?" "I'm gonna meet record producers, the best in the biz." "And are they gonna look at Charlie and go," ""bigger than the Beatles"?" "You don't even know how important you are to all this." "But you're gonna figure it out." "When was the last time Manson checked in?" "Oh, about a month." "I need you to be just a little bit more specific." "Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Okay." " Hold on." " Yeah." "Yeah, I wanted to pick up where we left off with Gladner." "It's bad vibes, man." "People saying you're the fuzz." "Now, why would anyone think that?" "Streets got their own thing, my man." "There's..." "Crazy whispers in the concrete." "* Crazy whispers in the concrete *" "Hey, do you think that that would be a good song title?" "I'm coming over." "Wait, what?" "And if I have to look for you," "I'm gonna teach you a whole new song about concrete." "Shafe." "You were supposed to get me an update yesterday." "Yeah, sorry, I got distracted with that, uh, off-the-books thing we're doing." "Yeah, well, you want to play the big top, you got to learn to juggle." "Hey, sorry, got it, uh..." "Well, supposed to be October 11th but failed to check in." "Half case of I.W. Harper's coming your way, but I need a current address." "Why don't you check with known associates, and how about that Beverly Hills lawyer of his, Ken Karn?" "You got it." "Bottoms up, you Irish bastard." "This a bad time for a favor?" "Depends." "You offering or asking?" "My snitch, Vickery..." "Guitar man." "That's right... uh, well, turns out he's been blabbing about my secret identity." "So you get the play, right?" "It only works if you're you." "But on purpose, like 1,000-yard stare, psycho-cop scary." "You want to see scary, keep your foot right where it is." "All units, 187 at 8856 39th Street, South Central." "Victim is white female." "White?" "That neighborhood?" "Six-William-Nine, en route." "Whoa, whoa, we got to meet Vickery at 10:00 sharp." "Keep a snitch waiting, it'll make his heart grow fonder." "I told you, get inside the house!" "Husband found her, called it in." "We got here and found her around 9:00 am" "Joyce Nankin, 62." "Appears to be blunt force to the head." "Where were you before you came home, Mr. Nankin?" "The studio." "Oh, you're an artist?" "Dance instructor." "Oh." " So you were teaching at the..." " No." "No." "It's closed." "Wednesdays in general or..." "Closed." "Completely." "So what were you doing there?" "Cleaning up, packing." "Alone?" "Yes." "Mr. Nankin, have you..." "Have you had any trouble in the neighborhood?" "No problems." "Except we woke up one day in Africa, with their music and their sounds and their stink." "Lovely, all of it, 'cause business is booming." "I mean, who wouldn't want to drive down here to..." "To Darkest Monkey-Ville and learn how to do the box step?" "And you people, you were so, so good when my car was broken into and when I got mugged." "You almost got down here the day that we called you." "And we thank you." "My wife..." "And I." "We thank you." "We got no bread." "You know what I need." "Make it happen." "This is your moment." "You dive into your own beautiful future or fall right back into mommy and daddy." "He's crazier than ever." "What else did he say?" "Besides the fact that he has my daughter?" "You never should have gone to a cop, Ken." "Grace was out of her..." "This cop and Grace, that's the problem, Ken." "Charlie we can deal with." "Charlie's an ant." "All right, he wants to meet somebody in the music business?" "Whatever." "You make it happen." "He has to give my girl back." "All right, first you make Charlie happy, then you get this cop to step off." "Look at me." "I'm not the only one Manson can hurt." "We can't afford this, Kenny." "Not right now." "How does this afternoon look?" "This afternoon?" "The fundraiser." "Oh, my god." "Get it together, Kenny." "This is a ball we do not drop." "Mr. Karn, I know you said no interruptions, but there's an urgent call from Mr. Bruce Tamminy from the San Pedro parole office." "He says it's regarding your client Charles Manson." "Yeah, put him through, Sheryl." "I'll take care of it." "Bruce." "Mr. Karn." "Yeah, no, Ken's out of the office right now, Bruce, but, uh, I wanted to make sure" "I spoke to you immediately about your Mr. Manson." "Hey." "What did I tell you?" "Told you to stay away from the front of the store." "Get out." "Get out into the street." "Thank you." " Shut your mouth." " Come on." "You're going to jail." "What I told you." "Move on." "Hey!" "Unbelievable." " You kids come in here..." " Ow!" "Stop!" "And grab whatever you want all the time." "Let go of me." "Let go!" "Oh, no, no, no, no." "Stop, no cops, come on." "Ow!" "Stop it!" "Stop." " Let go of me." " Shut up." "You're hurting me." "Aw, baby-jam." "What are you doing?" "What's she doing?" "Going to jail is what." "No." "Got to bite the hand that frees you." "What?" "Bite the hand that frees you." "Aah!" "Bitch!" "Hey!" "Officer!" "Hey!" "* Cheer up, sleepy Jean * * oh, what can it mean * * to a daydream believer * * and a homecoming queen?" "*" "* Cheer up, sleepy Jean *" "How, um, how'd you..." "You think being pretty's enough?" "You think being a sweet slice of pie gets you a ticket to the show?" "You like your mommy?" "You want to be just like her?" "Arctic, dried-up, gin-cured, slit trench?" "No." "Do what needs to be done, and stop making it about you." "Did he... did he call the cops on us?" "Don't worry about him." "He didn't see a damn thing." "* Daydream believer and a homecoming queen *" "We'll just be... we'll just be a couple minutes." "If you want to just have a seat." "Hodiak." "Husband has brain cancer." "Nothing they can do but dope him up till it gets him." "Can you do that?" "I don't know, can I?" " What is it?" " It's a birthday card." "So you make the husband as the doer?" "I do indeed." "Not seeing a whole lot of evidence." "Well, domestic homicide, you usually don't." "It's usually he said/she dead." "So what are we doing here?" "Best milkshake in town." "We're stepping off the suspect for a milkshake?" "Well, we're gonna let him stew a little bit, give him some alone time with his conscience." "* This whole world seems like *" "Legs spread." "Hands on the wall." "And why in the hell should I do that?" "* I've been trailing you *" "I'm lonely." "You're my best shot." "You got to buy me dinner first." "I don't eat with you people." "* Get you and so I knew *" "It's my first beat." "1947." "Change much?" "I think the coffee's from '47." "That hasn't changed." "Sam, phone." "Hodiak." "Marched across the Potomac and amassed at the Pentagon, resulting in a full-scale riot." "I had Charmain check." "The Nankins have been the victims of crime zero times." "So that lie was incredibly stupid." "Most murders, you're not exactly dealing with Goldfinger." "Very sorry, Leo." "My aunt had the exact same thing." "The pills just killed her appetite." "Except for one thing." "Vanilla milkshake." "How are you today?" "You mind if I ask you a few questions?" "Nothing too heavy." "Just a few." "She was a real looker, your missus." "MGM dancer in the '30s?" "Big deal back in the day." "I think I saw her with Fred Astaire." "You in the movies too, Leo?" "No." "No, I didn't get that far." "Why not?" "Just not good enough." "Ah, not good enough." "Bet you heard that a few times, huh, Leo?" "You sure you're a cop?" "Oh." "I just need a trim." "Or you're a narc." "Anyway, uh, between 7:15 and 8:15," "Mr. Nankin's car was in the driveway." "And you saw him, 7:30, 7:45 right out front?" "He was on his porch, smoking." "Did you say good morning?" "He never so much looked me in the eye, me or my family." "And that wife of his, god rest, but..." "She didn't have a Christian bone in her body." "Afternoon, Ms. Lee." "May we speak with you?" "Uh, in a second, guys." "We're just in the middle of..." "We know what you're doing, Officer, and it's now over." "Go inside, baby." "We're investigating a murder here." "Ma'am..." "Excuse me." "Couldn't have been easy for a woman like that to age, married to a younger guy." "Thing is, Leo, you never called the cops." "The only calls to the police involving you and your wife" " were from your neighbors..." " No..." "About you and your wife." "Fighting." "I took a look at the report." "The names she called you." "Talentless." "Leech." "Pansy." "Then you get sick." "I can't imagine that turned her into Florence Nightingale all of a sudden." "Leo, I'm married." "I get it." "Any man would." "Then with the pills, you're just not yourself." "How's that milkshake?" "This neighborhood has grieved over 27 murders this year." "All black." "How many of those were solved, Officer?" "Not enough." "Not one." "You are an occupying force." "Until you withdraw, we will not help you." "All right." "Nation of what?" "Islam." "For Pete's sake." "Look, we got a lying-ass, doped-up, dying dancer in a wig." "No physical evidence and now no witnesses." "I'm not seeing a quick close to this, and we're seriously late for my snitch." "Mm." "How about the guy without the hat?" "You got a name on him?" "Bunchy Carter." "All right, follow my lead." "Leo, we're about to make an arrest in your wife's murder." "I'm sorry about everything." "I really am." "Hiya, Bunchy." " It's Mr. Carter." " Mm." "You're under arrest." " Get out of my face." " You're under arrest." " Come on, you know the moves." " Get out of my face." "Hey, stand down." "Stand down." "Everyone stand down and bear witness." "Come on, you know the moves." "It's Hodiak, right?" "Oh, yes, it's nice to be remembered." "Is there an actual charge?" "Actually, yeah, there is, Mr. Carter." "Come on, man!" "What y'all doing?" "Let him go!" "Come on, man, why would I rat you out?" " Who'd you tell?" " No one." " Who'd you tell I'm a cop?" " No one!" "I swear to god, man!" "Art Gladner." "This is bull!" "You said it, brother." "Honky, suck my pipe." "Man, we've got a common struggle." "We got a common nothing." "Yeah, you do." "You're both gonna shut up." "Congress expressed its desire yesterday to halt bombing in Vietnam." "Secretary of State Dean Rusk responded..." "This is a legalized death sentence for the black man." " Mm-hmm." " Yeah?" "What about the white soldiers?" "What white soldiers?" "All you got is white officers making sure the yellow man and the black man wipe each other out." " Okay." " It's genocide." "Did you serve, Bunchy?" "Do I look like some smiley new lawn jockey waiting to take orders?" "173rd." "And you look like an empty mouth." "What?" "Nothing." "Don't go anywhere." "I know you know." "Walk with me." "My lawyer." "What, you don't shake hands?" "Hey, ow, ow, ow." "You and me, we're gonna sit in your front window, and I'm gonna meet all your customers." " You can't do that." " I can't?" "I did it all the time when I did Narco." "I watched guys like you just dry up and blow away." "What do you want?" "First, you two walk back whatever you said about me to whoever you said it to." "Next, the guy above you, the guy above him, the guy above that." "I want a deal in writing." " You want a deal?" " Yeah." "Oh!" "You want it in writing?" "Here." "How's that?" "* Look at your game, girl * * look at your game *" "Ah, it's... something like that." "But I got something that's a bit more like..." "No, no, no, no." "I dig your stuff." "I can't quite connect it to old Kenny Cufflinks lawyer man, but, uh..." "What you need to do is get a demo." "Cool." "Cool, cool." "What's a demo?" "Detective Hodiak, please." "Well, do you know when he's expected?" "Thank you." "Um, no." "No, I'll call back." " Grace, where's the cointreau?" " Um..." "The bartender's out." "Coming." "Hey, fellas." "Hello, how are you?" "Nixon, Reagan, I dig those dudes." "You can't be here." "Hey, I'm not here to hassle you, man." "Emma told me today was a big shindig." "I just thought I'd swing by and tell you that I owe you." "Sincerely." "Matty Gladberg is the mountaintop." "This ends now." "I gave you what you want." "I gave you more than that once upon..." "Give her back." "Keep it light, or some ugly-ass genies will come out of the bottle for all to see." "Ah." "Borrow your pen, my man?" "I need 2 grand." "What?" "For my demo." "Matty Gladberg said a good one's, like, a grand, but we want mine to be great." "Don't we?" "So..." "Bring it here." "You'd make my year." "Oh, my god." "Where did you find this stuff?" "It was all going to waste." "Any grocery store, out back, if it's a day past the date, they throw away enough to feed the entire world a hundred times over." "Look at all this stuff." "Do you like cherries?" "I love cherries." "You're my Cherry." "Ladies, say good-bye to sweet, shy, little Emma, and meet smart, sweet, sassy, and tart Cherry-Pop." " Whoo!" " Cherry-Pop, love it." " Whoo!" " Love it." "Cherry-Pop." "Walt?" "Hi, Dad." "Does your mother know?" "I barely knew myself." "So..." "This is the new place." "Mm." "Homey." "Mm." "Still playing." "Never good enough to play." "Yeah, you are." "You just..." "You never wanted anybody to know." " How come?" " I thought you were in-country." "I was." "I am." "How'd you get leave to come back?" "New policy." "A little different from my day." "Lots of things are." "61 unsolved crimes in your neighborhood last year." "You think framing me is that easy?" "Slauson Street Gang most of your life." "Spent four years in Soledad." "First shot at you, every racist D.A. in the county would buy me dinner and throw in rams tickets." "I'll pray for your soul, sue your ass into the dirt, and wait for the day I can beat it bloody." "Hoo." "Allah'd be proud." "So would lady justice." "That's a good one." "I don't know why you got to make it personal." "You know?" "Leo." "All right, so... so you... you want me to identify the guy?" "'Cause I told you that I was at the studio..." "Leo, Leo, Leo, Leo." "You know why you're here." "On some level, you got to be a little relieved, right?" "All right, all right." "You know what?" "I knew it." "Here's the thing about murder, Leo." "You deny it, get arrested, get charged, found guilty, make us spend all that time and money, you fry." "When you and I both know that you'll barely make it past the charge part." "Doctors gave you what?" "Six months?" "Six months?" "No D.A. wants to walk you into a courtroom." " I called my lawyer." " Oh." "And he's gonna be here..." "He's gonna be here anytime." " Okay." " I mean, he..." "He was my wife's lawyer back in the day, yeah." "Oh, wow." "I know him?" "Robert Rollins." " Oh, he's a big gun, yeah." " That's right." "And he loved Joycie, so I'm not saying anything... nothing." "Charmain?" "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "I'm saying nothing, nothing." "That's good, Leo." "You did a good thing." " A very, very good thing." " Mm-hmm." "You just sit tight right there, and I'm gonna walk and talk to your neighbor Mrs. Lee and get a sworn statement from her that you were home." "Then I'm gonna talk to that young man over there, who says he heard your wife scream shortly before 8:00 am..." " Oh." " Yeah, he was right outside your door passing out those leaflets." "No, no, no." " You arrested him, alright?" " Bye-bye, alibi, Leo." "He's not helping you." "He's not helping you." "No, he's not the most willing witness ever." "I had to do a little convincing." "Charmain." "The lawyer for a Mr. Leo Nankin is gonna be coming." " A Robert..." "Rollins." " Rollins, Rollins." "Yeah, I want you to make sure that he gets here right away." "Thank you." "Okay, Leo." "What I finally got is an actual case, which I do not want." "But I also don't want another open homicide on my desk." "I will give you my word of honor that you will never see the inside of a jail or a court." " Can I talk to you?" " No." " Outside." " No." "Outside, just a second." "Leo, you know how much you hate the coloreds?" "I need to talk to you." "Well, not half as much as they hate you." "And they can burn you today." "Hodiak, I need to talk to you." "But you confess, and you get to go home." " I need to talk to you." " No." "I need to talk to you right now, outside." "Thank you." "Look..." "Are you serious?" "Open the door, Hodiak." "Hodiak!" " Op..." " Charmain." "Let's go." "Women's booking." " No, I..." " Come on." "Hey." " You know what's up, right?" " Huh?" "When the guy's lawyer gets here, you tell him there's some confusion, that his client is not in observation, he's at the other side of the building." "In booking, you say." "Hey." "Come on, let's go." " Okay." " You know what?" "Yeah, I..." " You got it?" " I'd be happy to, yes." "My law... my lawyer's gonna be here in just a moment, second." "As soon as he does, you're gonna spend the rest of what's left of your life in jail." "You want that?" "I don't." "Excuse me, I'm looking for my client," "Leo Nankins." "Do I look like I work here?" "It's a birthday card." "Open it." "Margot Fonteyn's coming to town in a month." "Your wife got you two tickets." "You're a big ballet fan, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, she knew this was an important birthday." "That's the thing about wives, Leo." "They're never the worst thing they say or the best thing they do, and neither are we." "Okay, all right." "Okay, come on, Leo." "It's time to write it all down." "Did you sign?" "Yes." "Thank you." "You're under arrest." "Hands behind your back." "What?" "What?" " Ow." " Yeah." "Thing is, Leo, cops can lie, but we can't make deals." "No, you promised." "And wives can be a lot of things, but we don't get to beat them to death." "Come on." " I'm gonna tell." " Where is that thing?" "All right?" "I'm gonna tell." "I'm gonna tell my lawyers what you did." "Yeah, you do that." "You take it all the way to the Supreme Court." "Speaking of which, you have the right to remain silent." " Oh." "Indian giver." " Yeah." "Anything you say can be used against you in court." "You have the right to talk to a lawyer." "Bunchy, your deep understandable hatred of the Nankins has helped put mister, sadly, where he belongs." "So... thank you?" "No." "Thank you." "You're either asking me to join the Nation of Islam or telling me to dress better." "One of the Nation's objectives is for all negroes to leave the united slave states and repopulate our native Africa." "But when you imprison me without reason..." "Without reason?" "To achieve your objective despite the suffering you inflicted on me..." "You were interfering with a police investigation." "I see now that my true path lies not in flight from this country..." "Oh, Bunchy, I've known you since you were 11 years old." "My true path lies in changing this country because I'm not a pacifist." "No, you're a crook in a new costume." "You are a living lie." "I am the truth who will burn your world to the ground." "Does this mean I really get to keep the tie?" "Watch your back, Hodiak." "Jimmy C." "Is it my turn in the box?" "Are you gonna, what, sweat me for an apology?" "This is how it goes." "When I am closing a case," " you never, ever do that again!" " Closing a case?" " Is that what you call that?" " The guy did it!" " The guy had rights!" " Not today." " Back up." " What?" "Back up." "You think all you did was lean on a perp?" "When you haul in an innocent man..." "Bunchy?" "On some trumped-up obstruction beef you know he had nothing to do with..." "Child, he didn't know that." "He's just a dumb spade to you, right?" "Oh..." "Yeah, doesn't know nothing about nothing." " Grow up." " Easiest target in the world." "I was shaking him loose." "You hold him overnight." "You dump a crime spree on him he had nothing to do with." "Would you pull any of that if he were white?" "Would I pound the fear of god into some mope" "I needed to bend if he was white?" "Yes." "I did, for you." "If you think those things are the same, maybe we can't do this, you and me." "And you helped me out, and I want to help you find that girl, but I will not do the job the way you do." "You don't even know what the job is." "You know what?" "Give me a ride home." "Excuse me?" "We get through this or past it." "You know, like, literally half the time," "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Hey, Howard." "I'm good." "You?" "Huh?" "Come on." "She did?" "Seriously?" "Well, the ladies, huh?" "What are you gonna do?" "Him I like." " And the baby does this." " Hey." "Hey, honey." "Have a nice chat with Howard?" "Always." "Hi." "You're home early." "Mwah." "Yeah, this is Hodiak." "We work together." " Sam." " Kristin." "Nice to meet you." "And then who is this?" "Bernadette." "Bernadette?" "My favorite Saint." "Well, I'm not too sure that's her career path." "Mm-mm." "Yes." "Subtle." "Don't lead a subtle life." "Thought you ought to know." "I don't, unless we're gonna keep on looking for Emma." "Then I guess you do." "So, Sam, this thing with Walt." "I talked to my brother-in-law at Pendleton." "The thing I don't get is how he just got out." "I mean, my brother-in-law said," ""the only way you ever get sent stateside is if one of your parents is dying."" "And, I mean, it takes letters and doctors and all..." "Opal." "Officer." "You sent the letter, didn't you?" "To get him back." "Said you were what?" "Sick?" "Dying?" "Which one of your barfly friends did you get to play the doctor?" "Our son is AWOL from a combat zone." "He's a deserter." "He could go to prison." "You too." "You're in a real pickle there, Officer." "You gonna turn me in?" "No." "You're gonna do what's right." "You're gonna turn him in." "I won't have to." "They'll come for him." "You have no idea what you've done." "Walt?" "So his secretary said" "Ken had gotten nine phone calls from Manson." "She said, as far as she knows, Ken never returned." "But he got the messages." "Mm." "Well, here's the log, just dates and times." "I'm having so much trouble understanding this, why Ken is..." " This isn't..." " Sam Hodiak wears glasses." "I don't know what you're talking about." "No?" "Mm." "Invisible." "Okay." "What about Ken?" "I don't remember the last time I understood him." "He's a sphinx." "I can tell you exactly what he'll say in any given situation:" "What music he'll like, tie he'll pick, candidate he will vote for." "But I've never had any idea what he was thinking, ever." "Why did you marry him?" "Hot summer." "You were long gone." "My dad liked him." "So, not strong reasons." "I got pregnant." "That's a good reason." "So what about you?" "Why did you marry, you know..." " Opal?" " Yeah." " Opal." " Why did you marry her?" "I can't remember." "I can't remember." "I... can't remember." "Are you sure I can't get you a drink?" "Pretty sure." "You don't drink anymore, do you?" "Drinking, I don't tend to make the best decisions." "Half." "I get my girl out of here, you get the other half." "And Hal knows I'm here." "You do anything, anything, and it's over for you." "You hear me?" "Anything?" "Ken..." "We're not enemies." "We never were." "You're the one who forgot." "You're the one who, when I called and called and called, wouldn't answer." "Charlie?" "Charlie?" "Come back later, Cherry-Pop." "I'm busy." "You do as I say now." "It's all right, Ken." "It's all right." "Be free." "Do you remember how free we were?" "I showed you you could finally be who you were." "So sweet, those nights of ours." "So sweet, my Kenny-Ken."

"Previously on "The Astronaut Wives Club"..." "John Glenn is out of the space business for good." "I need a new poster boy." "Ed looks like superman, and Pat is just a living doll." "No wives in Florida during missions." "If something bad happens, best if crying women are a few states away." "[Coughing]" "You can't say a word to anyone." "Excuse me." "It's a disease of the inner ear." "It could be very dangerous for a person in your profession." "I can't fly." "I'm never going up again." "[Film projector clicking]" "Ed:" "Looking down at earth, floating in space, it was like nothing else existed." "The view, the feeling of weightlessness, and the sound of absolute silence..." "It was... it was exhilarating and peaceful all at once." "And I never really, uh, thought about making history or, uh, what my success might mean to the program." " I-I truthfully wasn't thinking at all..." " What I want to hear about is Pat's surprise visit to the Paris Air Show." "Lady Bird lent her a dress right out of her own closet." "I'm having them over to get all the details." " We're coming, too." " Mm-hmm." "Ed:" "As I'm sure you all heard, it took a bit of coaxing on NASA's part to get me to come back in." "[Laughter]" "[Projector clicks]" "Well, uh, you certainly don't have to ask me to pass the mike twice, so, uh..." "I'll let Dunk take it from here." "Let's hear it for Ed White, hmm?" "[Applause]" "In fact, let's hear it for all your husbands." "They're doing some pretty extraordinary things these days." "Gus Grissom and John young broke in our new Gemini capsule without a hitch." "Betty:" "Of course they did." "Gus built it with his own two hands." "Gordo Cooper and Pete Conrad spent a whole week in orbit." "The data they collected on long-term space travel" " will be invaluable..." " Don't forget the world tour... meeting royalty, getting gifts from African kings." "Dunk's skipping all the best parts." "I'd trade my night in a solid gold bed for a week in orbit." "Shh." "...with Gemini missions going up every two months..." "He's gonna mention Deke." "...thanks to the hard work and organization of Deke Slayton and Al Shepard, who are running the astronauts' office side by side." " That's my man." " [Laughter]" "These two Mercury rocket jockeys have risen to the challenge of overseeing flight selection and astronaut training..." "Louise said she was coming, right?" " I saved her a seat." " Oh." "...for an operation that now includes over 20,000 men working around the clock and across the country." "[Sighs]" "Thanks for driving me in today." "I'm sorry for making you late." "I'll be back to get you at 5:00." "No need." "I have an appointment." "With a doctor?" "I'll take you." "I'll see you at home." "[Car door closes]" " [Horn honks]" " Hey." "Extended flight time that proves that men can survive in space for up to two weeks." "E.V.A.S, extra-vehicular activities, that prove that men can work outside the capsule." "And..." "The joining of two spacecraft in a rendezvous, which is something that not even the Russians have been able to achieve." "These are the goals of Gemini." "And make no mistake, these are our most ambitious goals yet." " We were starting to worry." " Sorry." "Alan." " How's he doing?" " [Sighs] ...unprecedented in the history of mankind." "The demands on your men are growing every day." "So we need to make sure that they have nothing to think about on the home front." "This is why we've asked you here today." "That's why we're here?" "The home front is my front." "Gus hasn't had to worry about the house since..." "Ever?" "They need their rest, so no distractions." "And no demands, if you know what I mean." " That's not happening." " [Laughter]" "But if your man comes home feeling frisky, well, then it is up to you to give him the comfort he deserves." "Guess he should have put that one on a poster." "[Scoffs] Okay, well, thank you for your time today." "Let's go, Gemini!" "[Indistinct conversations]" "Damn, there's a lot of wives here." "Louise:" "Well, there are over 30 astronauts now." "And Apollo's gonna be three-manned missions." "We got enough to fill a school bus." "And apparently it's our job to mow their lawns and comfort them." "Hey, I think Marilyn Lovell's been doing some comforting." " Preggers." " Oh." "Which Marilyn is Lovell?" "The one that's not Marilyn see." "All the new wives are marilyns to me." "She's over there." "I'd say she's four months, maybe five." "Empire waist... dead giveaway." "Plus, I saw her sneaking saltines from her handbag." "I thought she was the other Pat." "No, the other Pat's with the first Pat..." "Wait, Marilyn Lovell is four months pregnant?" "Jim is on Gemini 7." "That is right when the baby is due." "The first astro-baby born while daddy's in space." "This will be interesting." "Hmm." "Is it that obvious?" "Marge:" "Just to us." "Jo's actually the only one who noticed." "She's gifted like that." "[Sighs] How you feeling, hon?" " Mm, terrible." " [Chuckles]" "The morning sickness..." "it lasts all day." "It's killing me." "Is it wrong to say that I am not looking forward to going through it all again?" "Ugh, of course not." "I mean, that's why there's a pill for it now... so women can finally decide when they want to get pregnant." "Well, married women..." "In most states." "Honestly, I thought I was done with this eight years ago." "Well, what does Jim think?" "Jim... doesn't know." "How can Jim not know?" "Well, he hasn't been home for weeks." "And I just haven't gotten up the nerve to tell him." "No, it... it isn't Jim." "But you heard Dunk today." "We're not supposed to demand or distract." "Well, he might be a bit distracted when a fourth kid shows up at the dinner table." "[Laughter]" "I will let him know at some point before that." "Anyway, what I'm going through is nothing compared to what poor Harriet Eisele's dealing with." "Now, which one is Harriet?" "Brunette." "The nurse." "Her little boy has Down's." "And his cancer's back." " Oh." " Oh." "Oh, lordy." "Let's give her a call and get her over here." "Harriet, we are so sorry." "Is there anything we can do?" "Maybe one of the doctors at NASA knows someone." "You know, my father worked with the Du Ponts." "They have a children's hospital in Pennsylvania." "I could call." "The hospital here in Houston is excellent." "But for someone with Matt's condition," "I'm afraid there's not much we can do medically." "Well, what can we do non-medically?" "Harriet won't ask." "She doesn't want to jeopardize Donn's position in the lineup." "Go ahead." "They're here to help." "Well..." "It would be such a comfort to have Donn home." "He's been working every weekend, stuck down at the Cape." "I know the program is important, but..." "So is his son." "Let me talk to Alan." "Did you get a chance to see the Eiffel Tower when you were in Paris?" "We went to the top our first night there." "And then, the next day we rode in a boat along the Seine and then rode in a horse-drawn carriage on the Champs-Elyseés." "Oh." "Wow." "That just... it sounds amazing." "It was." " It was like a second honeymoon." " Yeah." "Me and Gus never went on our first honeymoon." "We just went to an amusement park and rode the roller coaster." "I told her life with me would be full of ups and downs." "[Chuckling] He did say that." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "I-I didn't mean to bring up..." "No, not at all." "Those times were tough, but they were happy." "I've never been out of the country." "And neither has Gus except to go to war or up into space." " ♪ Well, they say that you ♪ - [Laughs]" " [Clicks tongue] - ♪ they say that you ♪" "♪ Want to have your fun ♪" "May we be excused?" "We want to watch "Gidget."" "Clear your plates." "[Sighs]" "Make sure your homework gets done." "How did your appointment go?" "Good." "That's all I get out of you?" "For now." "[Breathes deeply]" "Donn Eisele's son is sick." "It's very serious." "I think he should be here in Houston, spend time with him." "Eisele's free to come and go just like the rest of us." "His wife seems to think you and Deke are keeping him there, working the weekends." "If that man is not seeing his son, it's not because of me and Deke." "[Dialing]" "[Telephone rings]" "Hello?" "Louise:" "Trudy, it's Louise." "I know you're flying Beverly Davis to Dallas during the week." "I'd like to book a flight to Cocoa Beach." "I'll split the gas and fly you for free." "What's the mission?" "A spaceman has lost his way." "Well, then let's bring him home." "Guess who's throwing out the first pitch at the Astros game." "Oh, really?" "That is so great." "I'm sure Gus and Deke will love to see that." "Beverly Davis flying to Dallas again?" " It's not Beverly." " Good." "'Cause I've had enough of that woman taking up all your time." "She pays me $50 a flight." "If you needed money, just ask." "Well, you know, it's... it's not that." "I..." "I like flying and having something else to do." "Hon, that's great." "But you got to run this kind of thing by me." "When I get free time, I just want to spend it with you." "You got to see me on the mound." "[Chuckles]" "Well, you do have a really great arm." "Yeah, I do." "[Chuckles]" "[Door closes]" "Now, I'm no engineer, but don't most buildings have walls, maybe a roof?" "It's not done, and this is the Eiffel Tower." "[Clears throat]" "In honor of our trip to Paris." "We're going to Paris?" "Now, I know we've never done anything much for our anniversary, but this year's gonna be different." "NASA's giving you time off?" "I'll make them." "Hon." "But you've got so much going on." "Are you sure?" "Bets, nothing could stop me." "[Laughs]" "Well, then..." "Viva Le France!" "[Laughs]" "Gus!" "[Laughs]" "So, what do you think?" "Wow." "If the Gemini capsule is built half as good as this, we'll be on the moon in no time." "Does Friday work for you?" "Uh, yeah, I think so." "I just have to run it by Gordo." "Will you hand me that rag?" "You're running something by Gordo?" "To get his permission?" "I mean, I'll inform him..." "So we can work out our schedules." "Of course." "Let me know what Gordo says." "I will." "Having a little trouble there?" "Oh. [Laughs] Yes." "Uh, those Twinkies I buy for the kids." "[Chuckles] Can't resist them." "Buy the Sno Balls next time." "You won't be tempted at all." "[Laughs]" " Bye, sweetie." " Bye." "[Ringing]" "[Telephone rings]" "Hello?" "I need you to go over to Marilyn See's house... now." "Why?" "What's going on?" "Elliot See and Charlie Bassett are dead?" "[Sighs]" "They were flying in some bad weather and crashed into the McDonnell Aircraft Building in St. Louis." "We're sending some wives over to be with Marilyn and Jeannie to make sure no one from the press gets there before NASA does." "You want me to go, too?" "No." "I need you to pick up Marilyn's kids home from school." "You never know when and where a reporter might show up." "Hon, I barely know Marilyn, n-never mind her kids." "What do I say when I see her?" "Don't say anything." "Don't say anything." "S-so I-I'm not supposed to tell Marilyn that her husband died in a plane crash?" "We are kind of playing this whole thing by ear." "Just..." "I love you, too, all right?" "...trying to figure out exactly what to say and who to send." "That's why we need you to make sure no one gets there before we do." "So head over there and ask for a cup of coffee, whatever you need to do." "[Receiver clicks]" "[Birds chirping]" "[Doorbell rings]" "Marilyn." "Is everything okay?" "Yes." "I, um..." "I-I just..." "I ran out of coffee." "[Chuckles nervously]" "You got a cup?" "Of course." "Um... some's percolating right now." " Come in." " [Chuckles]" " [Door closes]" " Sorry about the mess." "I'm making lasagna." "It's..." " [Laughs]" " It's Elliot's favorite." "Um, I always seem to get sauce and noodles everywhere, though." "Lasagna." "Um, Jim and I had Italian last week." "We, uh... we went and saw "Doctor Zhivago."" "Thank you." "Have... have you seen "Doctor Zhivago"?" "No." "[Doorbell rings]" "Oh." "Jane." "Hi." "I, uh, ran out of coffee, and I was wondering if you could spare a cup." "It seems like everybody's running out of coffee this morning." "Come on." "[Door closes]" "[Chuckles]" "[Cabinet opens, closes]" "[Coffee pours] Sugar?" "Uh, uh, no." "Thank you." "Hmm." "Mrs. Slayton, why did we leave school early?" "Mom never said anything about it." "She must have forgotten." "But mom never lets us get ice cream." "That's why we're eating it in the car." "[Vehicle approaching]" "[Breathes deeply]" "Yeah, I was just wondering... that macaroni casserole that you make, do... do you use celery or green peppers?" "I'll get you the recipe." "Uh, could I copy it over, too?" "Of course." "[Doorbell rings]" "Is somebody else out of coffee this morning?" "Dr. Berry." "Marilyn." "I have some bad news." "Elliot's jet crashed this morning." "Ell..." "Elliot died?" "You two... you..." "You knew?" " I'm so sorry." " I'm so sorry." "[Crying]" "You heard about Elliot and Charlie?" "It was horrible." "I sat with Marilyn for what seemed like forever before Dr. Berry showed up to break the news." "And the whole time [voice breaking] I had to act like everything was okay." "[Sniffles] But that's what we're supposed to do... just smile and act like everything's okay." "Don't tell your friend that she's a widow." "Don't tell your husband that the kids need their tonsils out." "Whatever you do, don't tell him you're pregnant." "Tonsils?" "What are you..." "[Sighs]" "Wait." "You're pregnant?" "How the hell did you let this happen?" "[Scoffing] How did I let it happen?" "[Sniffles]" "You're as much a part of this as I am." "I..." "I just..." "I just thought we were done." "Me too." "[Sighs]" "What do you think?" "Boy or girl?" "[Breathes deeply]" "[Laughs]" "[Sniffles]" "So..." "What are we gonna do about NASA?" "Well, we have to hide it for as long as we can." "Well, it's gonna get pretty hard to hide this, so when do you think that will be?" "[Chuckles]" "When I'm up in space." "[Both laugh]" "Betty:" "We can't wait." "We got to do something about it now." "Oh, those poor kids." "Poor Marilyn and Jean." "The Air Force can do it." "The Army can do it." "The Navy can do it." "And M-marines." "Why can't NASA come up with a timely way to break the news to the wives?" "You and Rene are lucky you're out." "O-once an a-astronaut wife, always an a-astronaut w-wife..." "Even if your h-husband r-runs a soda company." "Which kids like butter crackers... the Sees or the Bassetts?" "Sees." "Bassetts are saltines." "You know, I've had about enough of them dropping the ball." "We should walk into Dunk's office and tell them that NASA needs to come up with a military-style protocol." "Oh, Wally's getting ready for Gemini 6, and Gus has just been named captain of Apollo 1." "Now may not be the time for office-storming." "Plus, Betty, let's be honest, nobody really knows what's gonna come out of your mouth once you get going. [Chuckles]" "Maybe we should just type something up." "Yeah, and you know what they're gonna do with that letter?" "Marge: [Chuckles]" "We need all the wives." "Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo need to join forces and tell NASA it's time to make some changes." "If y-you're u-united, they h-have to listen." "And nobody's husband gets dinged." "I'll call a meeting at my place." "[Car door opens]" "How's it gonna work exactly?" "I'm supposed to take Camala to swim practice in the morning?" "No, that's in the afternoon." "Jan's dentist appointment is in the morning." "Can't she just miss it?" "The dentist?" "She's got a cavity." "I meant swimming." "Cam knows how to swim." "Why does she need to practice?" "Because she's got a meet coming up." "You won't have to do any cooking." "The girls will make their own lunch, and there's meat loaf left in the freezer for dinner." "Which means it'll be frozen, which means I'll need to heat it up." "Are you really trying to get me to stay... again?" "No, it just seems like you're dumping an awful lot in my lap." "Honey, you have orbited the earth." "I'm pretty sure you can handle car pool and meat loaf..." "And laundry." "I've got to go pack." "Hey, the girls are one thing." "I'll drive them around and keep them fed, but I don't do laundry." "[Scoffs] Right." "[Indistinct conversations]" "I mean, Frank was the kind of kid who took an air dryer to bits, you know?" "We're about to start, so..." "Thank you." "[Whistles]" "If we could have everyone's attention, please." "What's going on?" "First of all, we'd like to thank Marilyn See and Jeannie Bassett for making it here tonight." "We know it hasn't been easy for you, which is why we've invited you all here today." "We've all sent our husbands off to war, and now we're sending them up into space." "We know the risks." "There's nothing we can do about that." "But what we can do is demand that NASA do a better of job of letting us know when something goes wrong." "We need a protocol like the military." "[Women murmuring]" "Jane:" "The system may not be perfect." "But making demands?" "I don't know what Ed would think about this." "It's not just about how and when they tell us." "It's about how they treat us after the fact." "NASA still hasn't given Marilyn see any of Elliot's belongings from his office." "[Women murmuring] I'm so sorry." "And another demand strong request..." "Is that NASA tells us the risks when our men go up there." "And we want real-time updates about their flights." "Imagine never having to wait for someone at the manned space center to call and tell you how your husband is doing." "Well, couldn't... couldn't the three of you just go in and ask about these things?" "We think it's best to present a united front." "Yeah, well, Frank and Jim are going up soon." "I don't think it's the right time for us to make a fuss." "Roger is not going to get a Gemini flight, and he's fighting to get into the Apollo rotation." "I don't think this would help his cause." "[Women murmuring] So?" "It's a lot easier for you to take a stand." "Gus has already been up twice," "Wally's proven he's a great pilot, and Deke's chief astronaut." "But for the rest of us..." "That's why we need to do this together... so none of our husbands gets punished." "[Women murmuring]" "I'm sorry." "We just can't risk everything our husbands have worked for." "There's just too much on the line." "Things really aren't that bad." "[knock on door]" "[Muzak playing]" "What are you two doing down here?" "Gordo and Al are in Houston." "We're looking for Donn Eisele." "His wife and son need him at home." "Donn's not in." "Don't tell me he's at one of Jim Rathmann's parties." "Or Ramon's." "Or the Carnival Club." "I hear Bill Dana's in town." "I don't know where he is." "Wally, don't even try that "we men have to stick together" stuff, all right?" "Donn has a sick little boy who needs his dad." "I really don't know where he is." "[Sighs]" "I do know he doesn't stay here much." "Hmm." "Maybe the front desk knows where to reach him." "It just made me sick." "They're all so afraid of NASA, they're not willing to speak their minds." "[Chuckles]" "I'm sorry." "I know I keep going on and on." "I promise that I won't say a word about it once we get to Paris." "What is it?" "What's going on?" "Just... more problems with that damn Apollo capsule." "What now?" "Thing's a lemon." "And t-there's... there's no accountability." "You got contractors and..." "and then subcontractors, and everybody's trying to underbid each other." "No one is sharing information." "Well, they won't send you up there till it's working, right?" "I mean, it's got to be perfect." "Uh, me and the boys have been trying to weigh in on the capsule," " but nobody wants to listen." " Well, you got to make them." "All these missions, these guys working here, the Cape," "Alabama, St. Louis." " California." " [Scoffs]" "I'm gonna have to go out there to try to talk to those engineers for North American face to face." "I think maybe that'll help." "I'll call the travel agent." "I'll tell her that we're putting Paris on hold." "Only for a little while till I get this capsule sorted out." "Of course." "Just promise me that you won't go up unless everything is good and ready." "[Johnny Appleseed's "Ever Night Lulu" plays]" " ♪ Ever night Lulu ♪" " This is the place?" " ♪ You'll find her every night at the bar ♪" " Let's find out." "You'll wait?" " ♪ She's been there, gone there ♪" " Thank you." "♪ Boy, she never strays too far ♪" " [Doorbell rings] - ♪ ever night Lulu would be your friend for life ♪" "♪ she's a friend of everybody's ♪" " ♪ But not a friend of everybody's wife ♪" " Hello." " ♪ Ever night Lulu makes you want to look more than twice ♪" " Hi." "Um..." "Is your..." " Mom!" " ♪ when you look, you think of everything ♪" "♪ except old shoes and rice ♪" "Hello." "♪ You take her in to meet your mother ♪" "♪ and that would make Lulu glad ♪" "Is Donn Eisele here?" "♪ But you can't take her home ♪" "♪ 'cause you know you couldn't trust your dad ♪" "Which one of you is Harriet?" "We're her friends." "And we'd like to speak to her husband." "Donn." " Donn!" " ♪ but with her kind of talent, two wrongs do make a right ♪" "Mrs. Shepard, Mrs. Cooper, hi." "You should probably get dressed." "♪ Ever night Lulu will be your friend for life ♪" "This isn't what it looks like." "I..." " Don't bother." "We don't care." " ♪ she's a friend of everybody's ♪" "♪ but not a friend of everybody's wife ♪" "We're here about Matt." "♪ She's a friend of everybody's ♪" "♪ but not a friend of everybody's wife ♪" "Can we talk outside?" "I can go into Elliot's office and get his things if you want to stay in the car." "No." "I want to go in." "It'll be easier having you with me." "If you're up to it, of course." "Why wouldn't I be?" "You know, too?" "We all know." "I'd stop wearing those empire-waist dresses." "They're a dead giveaway." "Guard:" "I'm sorry, ma'am." "You don't seem to have a pass in the system." "[Buzzer]" "Did your husband call one in?" "Her husband was Elliot See." "He passed away a couple weeks ago, which is why we're here..." "for his belongings." "I... can't let you on without a note from your husband." "Well, that's impossible, so I suggest you find somebody else who can let us in." "You should have told me you were coming." "I've been calling for weeks." "Nobody ever got back to me." "That's a terrible oversight, and I'm sorry." "So, can we get Elliot's things now?" "I'd love to say yes, but I can't." "We're scrambling to get the flight back on track, and a lot of what's in Elliot's office is relevant to the mission." "We can't let anything walk out that door just yet." "I just want his sweater and our family photos." "I'm sorry, but the office is off limits until they're done." "You're gonna have to turn around and go home." "I fail to see how her wedding photo is essential to the future of the space program." "I know it's an emotional time." "And, again, I'm sorry." "You'll have to excuse me." "I have work to do." "[Gate opening]" "Harriet shouldn't have to go through this all by herself." "I know." "I know." "But I just..." "[Sighs] I can't." "Your son is fighting for his life." "You'd rather be here than be there for him?" "This is not even about Susie." "Well, I know it's not about the program." "I asked Alan, and he said you can come home any weekend." "It's not about work." "Then what on earth could it possibly be?" "It's me." "It's me, okay?" "I can't do it." "I can't stand to watch Matt in pain, being poked and prodded." "Listening to him cry is excruciating." "I feel..." "[Sighs] ..." "Useless." "Isn't staying here and doing nothing" " the definition of "useless"?" " You know what?" "You're right." "You should stay here with Susie." "You wouldn't be any help." " Trudy." " What?" "!" "He goes home," "Harriet will just have to take care of him, too." "Louise, let's go." " [Sighs] - [Car door opens]" "I love my son." "[Door slams]" "But what he's going through... no one expects you to save him." "You just have to show up..." "Walk through the door and be there." "[Knock on door]" "Be careful." "Somebody might see you on the Grissoms' front porch." " Gus and I are known as rabble-rousers." " You were right." "I want to go with you to NASA with the list of demands." "Tired of hiding that pregnancy?" "[Chuckles] Among other things." "Call Marge and Jo." "Let's do this." "Well, this is a surprise." "We need to talk to you." "Are they trying to make you ladies wear fur hot pants again for the fashion show?" "[Chuckling] I will call Nieman's." "NASA cannot keep treating us like we don't exist." "Like we're gnats that you SWAT away whenever we get too annoying." "Nobody thinks you're gnats." "And we know that you ladies play a vital role in..." "We have a list of demands." "[Clears throat]" ""We need a timely and compassionate way of notifying the newly widowed." "Widows should also be allowed immediate access to their husbands' belongings at the MSC and the Cape." "We want to follow the progress of our husbands' missions."" "That is quite a list." "Oh, we're not done." ""Pregnancy is a state of health which should be celebrated." "There should be no career repercussions for the husbands of pregnant wives."" "You're having a baby?" "We also need to be informed about the real risks involved with the missions." "Ladies... [Clears throat]" "I am sorry if we haven't made you feel appreciated enough." "And I know it must have been hard for you to take time out of your busy schedules to come down here." "So I'm sure you need to get back home" " to get started on dinner." " [Door opens]" "[Sighs]" "Looks like the astronauts are gonna be having leftovers tonight, 'cause we're not leaving until something's done about our demands." "You ladies are sure you want to do this?" "I'm here, aren't I?" "Oh, we're very sure." "And we're in this together." "Take as long as you need." "[Telephone rings in distance]" "[Breathing shakily]" "[Sniffs]" "Hey." "I got a phone call earlier today from the Baytown National Bank." "Oh." "They should have called the office." "Gordo and Gus lost the money they invested in that racetrack." "Are we in some kind of financial trouble?" "No." "I'm..." "I'm not borrowing money." "My investment's paid off." "I bought the bank." "♪ Bang, bang, shoot 'em up, destiny ♪" "[Chuckles]" "♪ Bang, bang, shoot 'em up to the moon ♪" "Newscaster:" "Jim Lovell and Frank Borman prepare to take off for the longest mission in NASA's history." "♪ I wanted to be a spaceman ♪" " ♪ that's what I wanted to be ♪ - [Chuckles]" "So, I'm really going to be able to hear the Capcom in Mission Control talk to my husband while he's in space?" "[Laughs]" "But they won't be alone up there for long." "In seven days, Wally Schirra and Tom Stafford will take off in Gemini 6 and rendezvous with Lovell and Borman's capsule as they both orbit the earth." "♪ Hey, mother earth ♪" "Five hours after lift-off, Gemini 6 was less than a foot away from Frank Borman and Jim Lovell, who were orbiting the earth in Gemini 7." "This is the first space rendezvous in history." "We've beaten the Russians." "It seems there's nothing" "American ingenuity can't overcome." "You going somewhere?" "I'm flying Beverly to Dallas." "Didn't you just go last week?" "You said we'd talk about this." "We are... right now." "Okay, well, I'm not sure how I feel about you being away so much." "Well, I'm not asking for your permission." "I'm just letting you know." "♪ Whoa, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪" "The Gemini 8 capsule spun out of control while attempting to dock with an unmanned agena target vehicle." "But rookie Captain Neil Armstrong was able to recover and fly the craft home manually." "♪ Won't you bring me back down safely to the sea?" "♪" "The Gemini 9 space walk had to be aborted." "This means NASA still hasn't proven that an astronaut can work efficiently and effectively outside." "And if we can't do that, we can't go to the moon." "Can we, um, turn this off?" "We want to see it." "♪ That's what I wanted to be ♪ [sighs]" "♪ But now that I am a spaceman, nobody cares about me ♪" "♪ say, hey, you, mother earth ♪" "He's always so grumpy when there's something about space on TV." "No complaints about your father." "He may not always be in a good mood, but he's here." "♪ 'Round and around and around and around ♪" "♪ is the problem of a spaceman he shows up. ♪" "With Jim Lovell in the captain's seat," "Buzz Aldrin set an extra-vehicular activity record" " of 5 hours and 30 minutes." " Ooh!" "Jim did it." "Two successful Gemini missions." "[Laughs]" "Cheers to Gemini 12, the final flight before Apollo." " Oh!" " Cheers!" " Cheers!" " Cheers!" "Going so soon?" "[Sighs]" "We got more tests to run on the capsule." "I've given up on that simulator, but maybe we can get the real thing to work." "Well, you give them hell till it does." "You can count on that." "It's not Paris, but it's close." "Hey, it wasn't your choice." "They needed you in St. Louis and California, and now they need you in Florida." "When I get back, I am taking you." " I promise." " Mm." "Hey, hey, hey." "Not so fast." "You're not leaving me here with a basketful of French fries to finish on my own." " All right." " [Chuckles]" "Mark's arm is getting pretty strong." "Yeah." "And Scotty's getting better at not dropping the ball." "[Both laugh]" "[Smooches]" "Don't get me wrong..." "I'm excited about Paris." "But this this is all I ever wanted." "[Fly-Bi-Nites' "Found Love" plays]" "[Telephone rings]" "Marty, turn down that stereo!" "[Ringing continues]" "♪ Dancing through my window today ♪" " ♪ found love ♪" " Hello?" "♪ I knew you'd stay ♪" "♪ when I saw you, first I thought ♪" "[Dog barking in distance]" "Hey, you're here early." "There's been an accident." "What?" "During the plugs-out test." "The Apollo 1 plugs-out test." "Was Gus inside?" "And Ed and Roger?" "Wally doesn't know how bad it is." "If it's really bad news, they'll call you right away." "We made sure of that." "Yeah." "We did." "It's a routine test." "They do it before every flight." "Well, I think they would have called by now." "[Knock on door]" "[Dick Flood's "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" plays]" " [Doorbell rings] - ♪ now I lay me down to sleep ♪ [sniffles] I guess I should go get that." "♪ I pray our love will always keep ♪" "♪ angels watching from on high ♪" "Betty." "♪ Smiling down on you and I ♪" "I know why you're here." "♪ Now I lay me down to sleep ♪" "But I think I need you to say it." "♪ I pray our love ♪" "♪ will always keep ♪"

"Verified, corrected and synched by Fingersmaster." "Enjoy!" "M doesn't mind you earning a little money on the side, Dryden." "She'd just prefer it if it wasn't selling secrets." "If the theatrics are supposed to scare me you have the wrong man, Bond." "If M was so sure that I was bent she'd have sent a double-0." "Benefits of being section chief I'd know if anyone had been promoted to double-0 status wouldn't I?" " Your file shows no kills, and it takes..." " Two." "Shame." "We barely got to know each other." "I know where you keep your gun." "I suppose that's something." "True." "How did he die?" "Your contact?" "Not well." "Made you feel it, did he?" "Well you needn't worry." "The second is..." "Yes." "Considerably." "So how do I trust this man that I've never met with my money?" "You asked for the introduction." "That's all my organization will guarantee." "I suppose our friend Mr. White will have told you that I have provided reliable banking services for many other freedom fighters over the years." "Do you believe in God, Mr. Le Chiffre?" "No." "I believe in a reasonable rate of return." "I want no risk in the portfolio." "Agreed." "And I can access it anywhere in the world?" "Yes." "I have the money, so short another million shares of Skyfleet stock." "Sir, you must know you're betting against the market." "No one expects this stock to go anywhere but up." "Just do it." "Looks like our man." "Burn scars on his face." "I wonder if bomb-makers are insured for things like that." "He's on the move." "He's on the move, and he's heading straight for me." "Stop touching your ear." " Sorry?" " Put your hand down." "Holster the bloody weapon, Carter." "I need him alive." "Weeping blood comes merely from a derangement of the tear duct my dear general." "Nothing sinister." "All in." "I have two pair, and you have a 17.4 percent chance of making your straight." "When does Ellipsis expire?" " We have less than 36 hours." "I can..." " No." "No, no." "That's all the time I have anyway." "Give our guests five minutes to leave or throw them overboard." "Who the hell do they think they are?" "I report to the prime minister, even he's smart enough not to ask me what we do." "Have you ever seen such a bunch of self-righteous, arse-covering prigs?" "They don't care what we do, they care what we get photographed doing." "And how the hell could Bond be so stupid?" "I give him double-0 status, he celebrates by shooting an embassy." "Is the man deranged?" "And where the hell is he?" "In the old days, if an agent did something embarrassing he'd have the good sense to defect." "Christ, I miss the Cold War." "You've got a bloody cheek." "Sorry." "I'll shoot the camera first next time." "Or yourself." "You stormed into an embassy." "You violated the only absolutely inviolate rule of international relationships." "And why?" "So you could kill a nobody." "We wanted to question him, not kill him." "For God's sake." "You're supposed to display some kind of judgment." "I did." "I thought one less bomb-maker in the world would be good." "Exactly." "One bomb-maker." "We're trying to find out how an entire network of terrorist groups is financed and you give us one bomb-maker." "Hardly the big picture, wouldn't you say?" "The man isn't even a true believer." "He's a gun for hire." "And thanks to your trigger finger we have no idea who hired him or why." "And how the hell did you find out where I lived?" "The same way I found out your name." "I thought "M" was randomly assigned." "I had no idea it stood for..." "Utter one more syllable and I'll have you killed." "I knew it was too early to promote you." "Well, I understand double-0s have a very short life-expectancy so your mistake will be short-lived." "Bond, this may be too much for a blunt instrument to understand but arrogance and self-awareness seldom go hand in hand." "So you want me to be half monk, half hit-man?" "Any thug can kill." "I want you to take your ego out of the equation and to judge the situation dispassionately." "I have to know I can trust you, and that you know who to trust." "And since I don't know that, I need you out of my sight." "Go and stick your head in the sand somewhere and think about your future." "Because these bastards want your head." "And I'm seriously considering feeding you to them." "And Bond don't ever break into my house again." "Ma'am." "Good day, sir, and welcome to the Ocean Club." "Hey." "Hey." "Hello." "Are you going to take this or make me wait?" "Certainly, sir." "Sorry, sir." "Security to car park." "Security to car park." "Absolutely incredible." "Welcome to the Ocean Club, sir." "Checking in?" "Yes." "But it's a spur-of-the-moment thing, and I haven't got a reservation." "Okay." " We have an ocean-view villa." " Perfect." "Could you do me a favor?" "I was here last night and I parked my car next to a very beautiful 1964 Aston Martin." "I nicked the door." "You wouldn't happen to know...?" " Mr. Dimitrios." " Right." "If he hasn't noticed, I'm not sure I'd mention it." "Isn't the type to take bad news well." "But if I felt compelled to find him?" "He has a house just up the beach." "Thank you." " What?" " He's in the Bahamas." "You woke me to share his holiday plans?" "Well, he's logged into our secure website using your name and password." "Well, how the hell does he know these things?" "Well, I'm doing my best to find out." " Who's he looking at?" " Alex Dimitrios." "That slimy bugger." "Now known associates..." "Le Chiffre." "We've had a good night, we've had a few drinks." "How can I assist you, sir?" "Good evening." "Large Mount Gay with soda, please." " Look what just happened." " Good job, big boy." "Yeah." "Do you mind if I join?" " Oh, good evening." "How are you?" " Good evening." "Small blind, big blind." "I'm in." "Bet's to you." "If that was for luck, you're two hours late." "Two hundred to you." "Bet's to you." "I heard you." "Five to call." " Action's to you." " Pair of sevens." "Ace high." "Check or bet." " Check." " And to you." "Five thousand." "Five to call." " Check." " Check to you, sir." "All in." "No, wait." "Twenty thousand." "Table stakes." "I'm sorry, sir." "Okay." "This is on the table." "That's my car." "Wanna bet?" "I'm sorry, Mr. Dimitrios." "Please, no." "Give him a chance to win his money back." "All right, show me, gentlemen." "Three kings." "There you go with my night." "Trip aces." "Aces win." "Oh, and the valet ticket." "Thank you." "Sir." " Thank you." " Thank you, sir." "No wonder he was in such a foul mood." "My mistake." "Can I give you a lift home?" "That would really send him over the edge." "I'm afraid I'm not that cruel." "Well, perhaps you're just out of practice." "Perhaps." "Well, what about a drink at my place?" "Your place?" " Is it close?" " Very." "One drink." "Good evening, sir, and welcome back." "Welcome to my home." "I'm having a hard time seeing how this is my fault." "It's your plan." "All I did was get you the man." "A man who was under surveillance by the British Secret Service." "Which makes me wonder if I can trust you at all." "Then don't." "I couldn't care less." "But I do care about my reputation." "I have someone else willing to do the job." "He just needs the particulars and payment." "You like married women, don't you, James?" "It keeps things simple." "What is it about bad men?" "You, my husband..." "I had so many chances to be happy so many nice guys." "Why can't nice guys be more like you?" "Well, because then they'd be bad." "Yes." "But so much more interesting." "What makes your husband a bad man?" "His nature, I suppose." "The nature of his work?" "A mystery, I'm afraid." "I'm also afraid you will sleep with me in order to get to him." "How afraid?" "Not enough to stop." "Can I ask you a personal question?" "Now would seem an appropriate time." "Does "ellipsis" mean anything to you?" "Should I ask him about it?" "Perhaps later." "Yes, dear?" "I'm on the last flight tonight to Miami." "Don't wait up." "I'll be back in the morning." "Okay, I understand." "See you tomorrow." "Bye-bye." "Apparently he's on the last flight to Miami so you have all night to question me." "In that case we're gonna need some more champagne." "Good evening." "Room Service." "Good evening." "Can I get a bottle of chilled Bollinger Grand Année and the beluga caviar?" " With everything?" " Yes, with everything." " And would that be for two, sir?" " What?" " For two?" " No, for one." "Wait here." "There you go." "Number 53." "Dr. von Hagens' Body Worlds invites visitors to observe the body's various locomotive, digestive nervous and vascular systems." "Please may I have your attention, ladies and gentlemen?" "I believe it is something very special, what we see here." "This is edutainment." "...fixed in dramatic and athletic poses that reveal the true-to-life spatial relationships amongst organs." "Hello." "Hello." "Do not leave your vehicle unattended." "Welcome to Miami International Airport." "Curbside parking in front of the terminal is restricted..." " Yes." " It's Bond." "I need her now." "I'm afraid she can't be disturbed." "Can I take a message?" "Listen, you go and find her, tell her to call Security at Miami Airport because I think a bomb is about to go off." "Do it now." " Sorry, can I put you on hold?" " I thought you might." "Bond?" "What the hell are you up to?" "I'll call you back." " The Skyfleet S570 prototype." " What about it?" ""The largest airplane in the world will be unveiled today at Miami Airport."" "Oh, my God!" "Bond?" "Bond!" "His target is the Skyfleet prototype." "It's launching today." "I gotta go." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Get moving!" "Let's go, let's go, let's go!" "The puts expired." "I'm sorry, I'm not sure yet how much you've lost." "One hundred and one million, two hundred and six thousand dollars." "Someone talked." " You got everything you need?" " Yeah, I have." "I'm gonna get a few more photos..." "Quite the body count you're stacking up." "She was tortured first." "As you'd already killed her husband she must have been the only one left to question." "Did she know anything that could compromise you?" "No." " Not your name, what you were after?" " No." "Dimitrios worked as a middleman." "Knew where to put his hands on weapons and people who could use them." "He worked with anyone who had money." "For years he was involved with a man we knew as Le Chiffre a private banker to the world's terrorists." "He invested their money, gave them access to it wherever they wanted." "Oh, good." "You're here." "Albanian, we believe." "Chess prodigy." "A bit of a mathematical genius and liked to prove it by playing poker." "So you can keep an eye on me?" "Yes." "When they analyzed the stock market after 9.11 the CIA discovered a massive shorting of airline stocks." "When the stocks hit bottom on 9I12, somebody made a fortune." "The same thing happened this morning with Skyfleet stock or was supposed to." "With their prototype destroyed, the company would be near bankruptcy." "Instead, somebody lost over $ 100 million betting the wrong way." "You think it's this man Le Chiffre." "Which would explain how he could set up a high-stakes poker game at Casino Royale in Montenegro." "Ten players, $ 10 million buy-in, 5 million re-buy." "Winner takes all." "Potentially 150 million." "Good." "Then we'll know where he'll be." "Do you want a clean kill or to send a message?" "We want him alive." "Le Chiffre doesn't have 100 million to lose." "Has he been playing the stock market with his clients' funds?" "They're not gonna be too happy when they find out it's gone." "We can't let him win this game." "If he loses, he'll have nowhere to run." "We'll give him sanctuary in return for everything he knows." "I'm putting you in the game replacing someone who's playing for a syndicate." "According to Villiers, you're the best player in the Service." "Trust me, I wish it wasn't the case." "I would ask you if you could remain emotionally detached but I don't think that's your problem, is it, Bond?" "No." "Don't worry about keeping in touch." "We'll know where you are." "You can stop pretending." "You knew I wouldn't let this drop, didn't you?" "Well, I knew you were you." "Thank you." "I'm the money." "Every penny of it." "The Treasury has agreed to stake you in the game." ""Vesper."" "Well, I do hope you gave your parents hell for that." "Thank you." "Your boss must be well-connected." "I've never seen so much go out the door so quickly." "Or quite so stylishly." "May I ask you where it is?" "Ten million was wired to your account in Montenegro with a contingency for 5 more if I deem it a prudent investment." "I suppose you've given some thought to the notion that if you lose our government will have directly financed terrorism." "What looks good?" "So you're telling me it's a matter of probability and odds." "I was worried there was some chance involved." "Well, only if you assume the player with the best hand wins." "So that would be what you call "bluffing"?" "You've heard the term." "Then you'll also know that in poker you never play your hand." "You play the man across from you." " And you're good at reading people?" " Yes, I am." "Which is why I've been able to detect an undercurrent of sarcasm in your voice." "I'm now assured our money is in good hands." "You don't think this is a very good plan, do you?" "So there is a plan?" "I got the impression we were risking millions of dollars and hundreds of lives on a game of luck." "What else can you surmise, Mr. Bond?" "About you, Miss Lynd?" "Well, your beauty's a problem." "You worry you won't be taken seriously." "Which one can say of any attractive woman with half a brain." "True, but this one overcompensates by wearing slightly masculine clothing being more aggressive than her female colleagues which gives her a somewhat prickly demeanor and ironically enough, makes it less likely for her to be accepted and promoted by her male superiors who mistake her insecurities for arrogance." "Now, I'd have normally gone with only child but, you see, by the way you ignored the quip about your parents I'm gonna have to go with orphan." "All right." "By the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever and actually think human beings dress like that." "But you wear it with such disdain my guess is you didn't come from money and your school friends never let you forget it." "Which means you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity, hence the chip on your shoulder." "And since your first thought about me ran to orphan that's what I'd say you are." "Oh, you are." "I like this poker thing." "And that makes perfect sense since MI6 looks for maladjusted young men that give little thought to sacrificing others in order to protect Queen and country." "You know former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches." " Rolex?" " Omega." "Beautiful." "Now, having just met you I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard." "No, of course not." "But it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine." "You think of women as disposable pleasures rather than meaningful pursuits." "So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond I will be keeping my eye on our government's money and off your perfectly formed arse." "You noticed?" "Even accountants have imagination." "How was your lamb?" "Skewered." "One sympathizes." "Good evening, Mr. Bond." "Good evening, Miss Lynd." " Hotel Splendid, sir?" " That's right." " Thank you, sir." " Thank you." "It's just last-minute details." "Apparently we're very much in love." "Do you usually leave it to porters to tell you this sort of thing?" "Only when the romance has been necessarily brief." "I'm Mr. Arlington Beech, professional gambler and you're Miss Stephanie Broadchest..." " I am not." " You're gonna have to trust me on this." "Oh, no, I don't." "We've been involved for quite a while hence the shared suite." "But my family is strict Roman Catholic so for appearances' sake, it'll be a two-bedroom suite." "I do hate it when religion comes between us." "Religion and a securely locked door." "Am I going to have a problem with you, Bond?" "No, don't worry." "You're not my type." "Smart?" "Single." "Welcome to the Hotel Splendid." "Your name, sir?" "James Bond." "You'll find the reservation under Beech." " Welcome, Mr. Bond." " You sign that, dear." "You represent the Treasury." "Thank you." "Enjoy your stay." "I will." "Thank you." "Very funny." "Look, if Le Chiffre is that well-connected he knows who I am and where the money's from." "Which means he's decided to play me anyway." "So he's either desperate or he's overly confident but either way, that tells me something about him." "And all he gets in return is a name he already has." "And now he knows something about you." "He knows you're reckless." "Take the next one." "There isn't enough room for me and your ego." "Mr. Bond?" " It was left for you." " Thank you." "I love you too, M." "My name is Mathis." "Rene Mathis." "I'm your contact here." "Does he know we've been watching him?" "Le Chiffre?" "I don't think so." "Probably because there's no "we." Just me." "I'm afraid if you get into trouble here the cavalry won't be coming over the nearest hill." "Le Chiffre arrived yesterday and spent the time reestablishing old relationships." "The chief of police and he are now quite close." "That's him, with the mustache." "Over my left shoulder." "Well, that could make life quite difficult." "Yeah, and quite possibly shorter." "He's not a very subtle man." "I thought about trying to buy his services, but we frankly couldn't afford to outbid Le Chiffre." "I hate to say it but the accountants seem to be running MI6 these days." "Oh, not that I have anything against accountants." "Many of them are lovely people." "So I decided that it was cheaper to supply his deputy with evidence that we were bribing the chief." "It's amazing what you can do with Photoshop these days, isn't it?" "I think your odds are improving, Mr. Bond." "Yes?" "For you." "Something you expect me to wear?" "I need you looking fabulous." "So when you walk up behind me and kiss me on the neck the players will be thinking about your neckline and not about their cards." "Do you think you can do that for me?" "I'll do my best." "Thank you." "I have a dinner jacket." "There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets." "This is the latter." "And I need you looking like a man who belongs at that table." "How...?" "It's tailored." "I sized you up the moment we met." " Good evening, sir." " Good evening." "Thank you." "And you must be Mr. Bliss' replacement." "Welcome, Mr. Beech." "Or is that Bond?" "I'm a little confused." "Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?" "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome." "As you know, the game is no-limit hold 'em poker." "Five communal cards, two in the hole." "Monsieur Mendel here represents the Basel Bank, Switzerland holding the stakes." "You have each deposited $ 10 million buy-in." "A further buy-in of 5 million can be made by electronic transfer." "The money will remain in escrow until I return and the winner of the contest enters his or her password into the encryptor whereupon the entire sum will be wired to any bank account in the world you nominate." "Mr. Bond?" "We proceed alphabetically." "Please be so kind as to enter a password of your choice." "Six letters or more." "High card for dealer position." "It's Signor Gallardo." "Mr. Kaminofsky is the small blind, $5000 and Mr. Fukutu, the big blind, $ 10,000." "Well, enjoy the game." "Four players." "It's your bet." "Check." "Check." "Bet." "Fifty thousand." "Call." "Fold." "Fold." "Heads up." "Monsieur Le Chiffre." "Bet." "One hundred thousand." "Weren't you supposed to enter so the others could see you?" "Was I?" "Forgive me." "Good luck, darling." "It's up to you, Monsieur Bond." "Monsieur Bond?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "What was the bet?" "A hundred thousand?" "Call." "Hello." "I suppose I don't have to tell you how beautiful you look." "Half the people at that table are still watching you." "Champagne." "Monsieur Le Chiffre." "Bet." "Two hundred thousand." "Monsieur, you have been called." "Showdown, please." "A full house to Monsieur Le Chiffre." "Deuces full of nines." "Mr. Bond?" "Fold." "Send the barman over, please." "A dry martini." "Wait." "Three measures Gordon's, one of vodka half of Kina Lillet, shake it over ice..." " ...then add a thin slice of lemon peel." " Yes, sir." " You know, I'll have one of those." " So will I." "Certainly." "My friend, bring me one as well." "Keep the fruit." "That's it?" "Anyone want to play poker now?" "Someone's in a hurry." "Would you excuse me?" "You taste nice." " I thought we dispensed with covers." " No." "We dispensed with one that was of no use and created another that is." " Is he watching?" " Yes." "Good." "This is me in character pissed off because you're losing so fast we won't be here past midnight." "Oddly, my character's feelings mirror my own." "Check." " You know, that's not half bad." " Up to you." "I'm gonna have to think up a name for that." "It was worth it to discover his tell." "What do you mean?" "The twitch he has to hide when he bluffs." " Bluffs?" "He had the best hand." " Which he got on the last card." "The odds against were 23-to-1, and he'd know that." "When he did his first raise he had nothing." "Winning was blind luck." " Did you get the bug?" " Yes." "Bet." "One hundred thousand." "Thank you." "It's your play, Monsieur Fukutu." "Maybe he can actually pull this off." "Call." "Monsieur Le Chiffre." "Ladies and gentlemen, Mesdames, Messieurs we've now been playing for four hours." "It's time for a short break." "We will resume play in one hour." "Well, I think I'll report on the evening's frivolities." "So?" "You want to do what to me?" "You've lost me completely." "You just said you can't wait to get me back to the room." "Come on." "So, what's so damn important?" "I'm sorry." "Where is my money?" " Good evening." " Good evening." "You're holding a parcel for me." "Thank you." "Do you think you can lose that kind of money and no one would notice?" "Your money is safe." "Open that." "You'll have it tomorrow." "All of it." "I would take a hand for this betrayal, but you need it to play cards." "Hold out your arm." "Hold out your arm, my beauty or I will take your head." "Go to the room." "Wait for me there." "Stairs." "Not a word of protest." "You should find a new boyfriend." "Go find Mathis." "Tell him I've hidden the bodies here and I want him to get rid of them." "Do that now." "Go." "Go, go!" "You changed your shirt, Mr. Bond." "I hope our little game isn't causing you to perspire." "A little." "But I won't consider myself to be in trouble until I start weeping blood." "Ladies and gentlemen, if everybody's ready, let's continue the game." "It's like there's blood on my hands." "It's not coming off." "Here, let's see." "That's better." "You cold?" "Yeah." "Here." "You have any trouble with the bodies?" "Less than some." "Being dead doesn't mean one can't still be helpful." "That'll keep Le Chiffre looking over his shoulder." "He'll be wondering who's gonna come for him next." "How's our girl?" "Melted your cold heart yet?" "Call." "Fold." "And call." "Three players." "Three hundred grand." "Bet." "Three hundred thousand." "Call." "And call." "Three players." "Check." "Monsieur Bond?" "Bet." "Five hundred thousand." "Look." "It's the tell." "He is bluffing." "My God, James was right." "It's up to you." "Raise." "One million." "Seems someone knows something I don't." "Fold." "Heads up, gentlemen." "It's up to you." "Two." "Re-raise." "Two million." "And it's up to you." "I'm all in." "Well, it's 14 million and 500,000." "It's up to you, Monsieur Bond." "Bond will have to go all in to call his bluff." " Call." " Call." "Gentlemen, showdown, please." "Full house." "Kings and aces." "Monsieur Le Chiffre." "It's four jacks." "Monsieur Le Chiffre wins." "You must have thought I was bluffing, Mr. Bond." "Please." "We will now break for one hour." "When we return, the big blind will be 200,000." "Good game." "Well, I'm gonna need the other 5 million to buy back in." "I can't do that, James." "Look, I made a mistake." "I was impatient, maybe I was arrogant, but I can beat him." " I'm sorry." " Sorry?" "Sorry?" "Try putting that in a sentence." ""Sorry Le Chiffre's gonna win continue funding terror and killing." That kind of sorry?" "You lost because of your ego, and that same ego can't take it." "That's what this is about." "All you're going to do now is lose more." "Then you're an idiot." " I'm sorry?" " I said, you're a bloody idiot." "Look in my eyes." "I can beat this man, you know that." "Get your hand off my arm." "Vodka martini." " Shaken or stirred?" " Do I look like I give a damn?" " James." " Get the girl out." "Funny game, right?" "Sorry, I should've introduced myself, seeing as we're related." "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley." "You should have a little faith." "If you keep your head about you, I think you have him." "Had." "Excuse me." "You're not buying in?" "No." "Listen, I'm bleeding chips." "I'm not gonna last much longer." "You have a better chance." "I'll stake you." "I'm saying I'll give you the money to keep going." "Just one thing." "If you pull it off, the CIA bring him in." "And what about the winnings?" "Does it look like we need the money?" "Shall we up the blinds?" "Why not?" "Bet." "Raise." "And fold." "Excuse me, please." "Call." "Raise." "Raise." "Five hundred thousand." " Fold." " Thank you." "Fold." "Fold." "Thank you." "Wins." "Deal me out." "Sorry, sir." "You are the big blind." "Small blind, please." " Who is it?" " It's 007." "Bond's been poisoned." "He's going into cardiac arrest." "Stay calm and don't interrupt." "Because you'll be dead within two minutes unless you do exactly what I tell you." "I'm all ears." "Remove the defibrillator from the pouch." " Do we know what it is yet?" " We're still scanning." "Attach the leads to your chest." "Ventricular tachycardia." "Digitalis." "What do we give him?" "The kit has amphetamines, antihistamines hydrocortisone." "Adrenalin?" " As soon as it reads charged..." " Lidocaine." "That'll work." "Bond, don't push the red button yet." "Do you hear me?" "Don't push it." "His heart's gonna stop." "There's only time for one charge before he passes out." "Take the blue combipen, Bond." "Mid-neck into the vein." "That'll counteract the digitalis." "You're going to pass out in a few seconds." "You need to keep your heart going." "Push the red button now, Bond." " Bond, push the damn button!" " Do it now!" " You okay?" " Me?" " Thank you." " You're welcome." " Now get yourself off to a hospital." " I will do." "As soon as I've won this game." "You're not seriously going back there?" "I wouldn't dream of it." "Bet." "One million." " All in." " Call." "All in." "Gentlemen, showdown, please." "Two pair." "Aces and sevens." "Queen plays." "Wins." "Oh, I'm sorry." "That last hand, it nearly killed me." "Gentlemen, with this chip exchange, we enter the final phase of the game which means no more buy-ins." "The big blind is now 1 million dollars." "Four players." "It's your bet." " Monsieur Bond?" " Check." " Check." " Twenty-four million in the pot already." "Check." "And check." "All check." "Four players." " Check." " Check." "All in." "Six million." "Bet." "Six million." "All in." "Five million." "All in." "Bet is 6 million." "Raise." "Raise." "Twelve million." "Heads up." "Forty million, 500,000." "All in." "Raise." "All in." "Well, I think I will call you on that one." "Call." "One hundred and fifteen million in the pot." "Gentlemen, showdown, please." "Flush." "Ace, king, queen." "Full house." "Eights full of aces." "A higher full house." "Aces full of sixes." "Monsieur Bond." "Five and seven of spades." "A straight flush." "Four to the eight." "The high hand." "Monsieur Bond wins." " For you." " Thank you very much." "Congratulations." " He's all yours." " Much appreciated, brother." "Congratulations." "You know, I think a celebration's in order." "You were almost dead an hour ago." "Come on, I'm famished." "Thank you." "Mathis says the Americans have made contact with Le Chiffre." "They're going to extract him before dawn." "You know, I think I'll call that a Vesper." "Because of the bitter aftertaste?" "No." "Because once you've tasted it, that's all you want to drink." " I thought that was quite a good line." " It was a very good line." "But you're laughing at it." " Not so much it as you." " Well, that's fine then." "I figured out what that is." "It's an Algerian love knot." "Really?" "I thought it was just something pretty." "No, you didn't." "Someone gave that to you." "He's a very lucky man." "You can switch off so easily, can't you?" "It doesn't bother you, killing those people?" "Well, I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did." "I don't believe you." "You've got a choice, you know?" "Just because you've done something doesn't mean you have to keep doing it." "Why is it people who can't take advice always insist on giving it?" "You think I can't take my own advice?" "I think something is driving you." "And I think I'll never find out what that is." "Mathis needs me." "Good night." "Congratulations again." "Mathis." "I'm afraid your friend Mathis is really my friend Mathis." "You've taken good care of your body." "Such a waste." "You know I never understood all these elaborate tortures." "It's the simplest thing to cause more pain than a man can possibly endure." "And of course it's not only the immediate agony, but the knowledge that if you do not yield soon enough there will be little left to identify you as a man." "The only question remains will you yield in time?" "I want the money." "Miss Lynd will give me the account number, if she hasn't already." "So all I need from you is the password." "The password, please." "I've got a little itch down there." "Would you mind?" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No." "To the right." "To the right." "To the right!" "You are a funny man, Mr. Bond." "Yeah!" "Yes, yes, yes." "Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls." "I died?" " I died?" " Yes." "Because no matter what you do, I'm not gonna give you the password." "Which means your clients will hunt you down and cut you into pieces of meat while you're still breathing." "Because if you kill me there'll be nowhere else to hide." "But you are so wrong!" "Because even after I slaughtered you and your little girlfriend your people would still welcome me with open arms because they need what I know." "The big picture." "Give me the password and I will at least let her live." "Bond." "Do it soon enough and she might even be in one piece." "You really aren't going to tell me, are you?" "No." "So I think I'll feed you what you seem not to value." "I'll get the money." "Tell them I'll get the money." "Money isn't as valuable to our organization as knowing who to trust." "Francesco." "Francesco." "Vesper." "Vesper." "No." "Not him." "Not Mathis." "No." "I'll get the doctor." "Not him." "Any ideas?" " What?" " Why they left the two of you alive." "Where is she?" "Sleeping." "Well, I'm supposed to get you to drink this." "It's just odd killing everyone else but leaving you and her untouched." "Almost as if someone was trying to tell us something." "Get a look at the killer?" "No." "Shame." "Drink up." "Anything else you remember?" "Anything that can help us?" "Help us?" "Or help you?" "Hello." "Hello." "You all right?" "I can't resist waking you." "Every time I do, you look at me as if you haven't seen me in years." "It makes me feel reborn." "If you'd just been born wouldn't you be naked?" "You have me there." "You can have me anywhere." "I can?" "Yeah." "Here, there, anywhere you like." "Does this mean that you're warming to me?" "Yeah." "That's how I would describe it." "It's just that not so long ago I would have described your feelings towards me as..." "I'm trying to think of a better word than "loathing."" "I'm afraid I'm a complicated woman." "That is something to be afraid of." " Hello." " Oh, perfect timing." "Monsieur Mendel." "How are things in Switzerland?" "My apologies, I do not mean to rush but 120 million is a large sum of money." "It certainly is." "You didn't bring any chocolates with you?" "I'm afraid not." "If you would type in the account number." "And now the password." "You can do that." "I would if I knew what it was." "V-E-S-P-E-R." "The funds have been transferred." "Sorry for disturbing you." " Auf Wiedersehen." " Auf Wiedersehen, Herr Mendel." "You know, James I just want you to know that if all that was left of you was your smile and your little finger you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever met." "That's because you know what I can do with my little finger." " I have no idea." " But you're aching to find out." "You're not going to let me in there, are you?" "You've got your armor back on." "That's that." "I have no armor left." "You've stripped it from me." "Whatever is left of me..." "Whatever is left of me whatever I am I'm yours." "I suppose M won't miss me for a couple of days." "She'll be too busy sweating Mathis." "Mathis?" "Remember I told you about Le Chiffre's tell?" "Well, Mathis told Le Chiffre." "That's how he wiped me out." "Same goes for the implant." "Can't say I'm too sorry about losing that." "I can't believe it." "No, neither could I." "I thought he had my back." "But there you go, lesson learned." "Does everyone have a tell?" "Yes." "Everyone." "Everyone except you." "I wonder if that's why I love you." "You love me?" "Enough to quit and float round the world with you until one of us has to find an honest job." "But I think that's gonna have to be you." "I've no idea what an honest job is." "You're serious." "Like you said you do what I do for too long and there won't be any soul left to salvage." "I'm leaving with what little I have left." "Is that enough for you?" " Come on." " No." "No." "No, stop it." "Stop." "I have to get to the bank." "What's the time?" "How much do we need to float for a month?" "I've got plenty." "No, I want to pay for my half of our aimless wanderings." "You stopped wearing the necklace." "Yeah." "It was time." "Time enough to get over someone?" "To realize sometimes you can forget the past." "Though apparently not your employer." "Back in one month." "Come on." "I'll get the money you get supplies." "I'll see you back here in half an hour." " Hello, M." " I got your note." "Yes?" "We'll talk about that later." "Right now I have a lovely man from the Treasury here wondering if you're ever going to deposit the winnings." "That's a shame." "I didn't think they'd miss it." "Yes." "Well, I told them not to worry." "So you'll be depositing it today." "On my way to the bank right now." "James Bond for Mr. Mendel." "Hello." "Mr. Mendel?" "I'm having trouble accessing the funds in my account." "It was transferred to the account number your company gave us, Mr. Bond." "It appears the funds are being withdrawn as we speak." " Where?" " The Venice branch, of course." "St. Mark's Square." "Is there a problem, Mr. Bond?" "I'll kill her!" "Allow me." "I'm sorry, James." "She had a boyfriend." "A French Algerian." "They were very much in love." "He was kidnapped by the organization behind Le Chiffre." "And they blackmailed her, threatening to kill him unless she cooperated." "We should've picked up on it but sometimes we're so focused on our enemies we forget to watch our friends." "How are you doing?" "She left her cell phone." "She must have known I'd check it." "She knew you were you." " Well, at least this clears Mathis." " No." " No?" " No." "We just proved that she's guilty, not that he's innocent." "It could've been a double blind." "Keep sweating him." "You don't trust anyone, do you, James?" "No." "Then you've learnt your lesson." "Get back as soon as you can." "We need you." "Will do." "If you do need time..." "Why should I need more time?" "The job's done, and the bitch is dead." "James did you ever ask yourself why you weren't killed that night?" "Isn't it obvious?" "She made a deal to spare your life in exchange for the money." "I'm sure she hoped they would let her live." "But she must have known she was going to her death." "And now we'll never know who was behind this." "The trail's gone cold." " Hello." " Mr. White?" "We need to talk." "Who is this?" "The name's Bond." "James Bond." "" " English "

"It's them, the kids who disappeared!" "Crystal Cove High's Mystery Solver's Club," "Mystery, Incorporated." "Like, these kids were just like us." "[All gasp]" "Darrow University library?" "This looks like the entire history of Crystal Cove." "The Darrow family, who disappeared, along with their mansion, nearly 75 years ago without a trace." ""Don't give up." "This has all happened before."" "[Panting]" "[Rumbling]" "[Engine stops] [Doors open]" "Well, here we are, family, the Burlington library." "Aw, this is going to be the greatest vacation ever." "Where have I heard that before?" "I mean, how exciting is it we're spending our entire winter vacation at some old dead, rich guy's library, huh?" "Learning is awesome." "Learning is lame." "Hi, there." "Hope you don't mind." "We just kind of let ourselves in." "[All gasp]" " [Roars] - [All scream]" "Learning isn't lame, it's evil!" " [All screaming] - [Roaring and growling]" "[Barking]" "[Grunts]" "Scooby-Dooby-Doo!" "After everything we've been through lately, gang, this little ski vacation is just the thing." "Like, Scoob and I aren't as crazy about hitting the slopes as we are about hitting the massive, all you can eat fondue bar!" "Fonduy-Dooby-Doo!" "[Both laugh]" "Take the left fork." "The right is a dead end." "[Rumbling]" "[All scream] [Tires screech]" " We'll need to make some repairs." " What's that?" "That terrifying mansion looks warm and inviting." "Does anybody else think it's strange to find a huge mansion up here in the middle of nowhere?" "At least the lights are on." "Good enough for me." "I'm freezing my paws off." "[Shivers]" "[Doorbell rings]" "Well, hello, there." "You young folks come on in out of that cold." "Welcome to the Burlington library." "We're always open to receive guests." "Glad y'all found us." "We're glad we found you too, sir." "Our van sure could use some repairs." "We were wondering if we could spend the night." "You can stay here for the rest of your lives." "Why couldn't we break down where the dude who runs the joint didn't act like he wanted to eat our livers?" "Shaggy, we're guests, remember?" " Guests?" "We're what's for dinner!" " [Gasps]" "Name's Dan Fluunk." "I'm the caretaker up here all year 'round." "Plenty of room right now." "Only myself, the kind of creepy older lady that's been staying with us a while, and the cook from an unspecified culture, Don Fong, stay out of the way of Don Fong." "He's a bit, um, angry." "[Muttering]" "You see what I mean?" "The man himself, Oswald P. Burlington, baron of the [indistinct], king of steel." "Lord of steam." "Back in the 1880s, he decreed that his library should stay open for visitors anytime day or night forever and ever." "If, for any reason, the library was to close, it and all its contents would go to Darrow University." "These artifacts are priceless." "My family and I have been taking care of them for years." "Who are these portraits of, Mr. Fluunk?" "That's a curious question, young lady." "Mr. Burlington had a fascination with groups of 4 people and an animal." "I have no idea why." "It was some sort of mystery he was trying to solve." "Now, over here's something really interesting-- a statue of Mr. Burlington's pet orangutan, Mr. Peaches." "Oh, they went everywhere together." "Adventure after adventure." "He loved his monkey." "So, after that long trip, is anybody hungry?" "Like, man, this place is massive!" "Nothing horrible in here." "Now, you two young men get yourselves anything you want to eat while I get you and your friends settled in some rooms upstairs." "Like, maybe that dude isn't an evil liver-eater after all." "[Chuckles] So, where should we start, buddy ol' pal?" "[Sniffs] Oh, over there." "Like, let's see if we can get in on some of that action." " Mmm." " Ahem." "Um, excuse us." "[Snarling and roaring]" "[Both screaming]" "[All grunt]" "We heard screaming!" " What's wrong, you guys?" " [Whimpering]" "Don Fong, horrible monster!" "Like...[Stammering]" "No way." "We totally trashed this place." "What's going on?" "A strange phantasm of the cook trashed the kitchen?" "Really?" " It's true!" " Yeah!" "He had big eyes and sharp teeth and-- [Snarling]" "I just came down from Don's room." "He told me he's been asleep up there all night." "Then, he threw a ham at me." "Don may be a hostile foreigner from an unspecified culture, but he's no liar." "Look, dude." "We are telling the truth." "We never lie when it comes to food, even if it's being thrown at us." "It's late, and we're all tired." "I don't know about you guys, but I sure could use a hot shower and a soft bed." "Are you guys crazy?" "Who could sleep in a house full of books?" "Never mind." "If you need me, I'll be in the library." "You go on upstairs, Daph." "I want to see if I can get the Mystery Machine up and running again." "Scoob, I could use your nose to sniff out any leaks in the fuel line." "[Crackling]" "[Hissing]" "Hello?" "Is someone there?" "As soon as this library is under my control, all of that will change." "Dean Fenk?" "What is she doing here?" "Have all the paperwork ready." "I don't want any mistakes." "She must be the older creepy lady" "Dan Fluunk was talking about." "[Water dripping]" "[Screams]" "[Pants and gasps]" " [Screeches] - [Screaming]" "[Screaming]" "[Snarls]" "[Panting]" "Like, what's wrong, Daph?" "Are you ok?" "Oh, Freddy, I'm so scared." "Don't be afraid, Daphne." "I've got you." "Fred, I-- I really missed you." "Missed you holding me." "Missed...us." "Me, too." " Mmm." " Mmm." "All sniffed out underneath." "Here, too, Scoob." "She's as good as new." "Couldn't have done it without you." "[Wind howls]" "[Shivering] It's cold!" "Even with the Mystery Machine fixed, we still have to wait for the storm to blow over before we go anywhere." "[Indistinct muttering]" "I wish he'd quit doing that." "It's a waste of good food." "[Groans]" "Shaggy?" " Shaggy?" " Don't worry, Scoob." "He probably just fell asleep." "But Shaggy never falls asleep before I read him his bedtime story." "Come on, Scoob." "You can sleep in my room." "[Whimpers]" "[Both grunting]" "Like, Daphne, you're so perfect, so beautiful." "Oh, Freddy." "Mmm." "[Kissing]" "[Wind howling]" "[Whimpering]" "Shaggy?" "Shaggy?" "[Echoing] Scooby!" "Scooby-Doo!" "Shaggy!" "Huh?" "Ahh." "Huh?" "[Gasps]" "[Screams]" "[Whimpering]" "[Snarling and roaring]" "[Gasps]" "Huh?" "[Whimpering]" "[Snoring]" "[Gasps and coughs]" "[Shivers]" "[Coughing]" " [Grunts]" " Huh?" "[Hooting]" "[Growls]" " [Screams] - [Roars]" "Aah!" "Oh, jinkies!" "Oh, jinkies!" "Oh, jinkies!" "[Panting]" "[Gasps] [Snarls]" "[Train whistle blows]" "Huh?" "Mr. P-P-P-Peaches!" "[Screams]" "Help, help!" "Daphne, Fred, Scooby, Shaggy--help!" "Velma!" "Are you ok?" "G-ghost train!" "Mr. Peaches!" "[Hooting] Burlington, Burlington!" "Shaggy!" "Where's my Shaggy?" "[Gasps]" "It's..." "It's...horrible!" "[Both gasp]" "Mm." "Huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Fred." "Freddy." "Please, snap out of it." "I swear, nothing happened." "Like, nothing happened!" "Except for the most amazing kiss of my entire life!" "[Laughs]" "Ohh, sorry." "Not helping!" "Didn't say that." "Nothing happened." "I thought Shaggy was you, Fred." "Yeah, and I thought I was you, too." "Like, it was so cool having muscles and a jaw and a chin." "Like, a real chin!" "It's still not working." "What if their minds are permanently gone?" "How would we know?" " Velma!" " Dude!" "Not cool." "Fine." "Why don't we just fix it the old fashioned way?" " Wake up!" "You're dreaming!" " Huh?" " Whoa!" "Hey, gang, what's up?" " Phew!" "Wow." "You guys would not believe the crazy dream I had." "Me, too." "Yuck!" "Phew." "Now that we're all back to a state of total denial, can we please talk about the clues?" "Do any of you remember anything at all that will help us solve this crazy mystery?" "Not really." "I put wood on the fire to heat the shower, and then, everything went haywire." "Like, that's weird." "I was putting wood on the fire in here a few minutes before you came in." "And there was a fire burning in the kitchen earlier." "Jinkies!" "I put wood on the fire in the library right before Mr. Peaches came to life and a ghost train came rolling through." "Then that's where we'll start." "Just as I suspected." "Gang, this isn't normal wood." "It's called Terrorwood, a special tree that produces terror-inducing daydreams and phantasms from its smoke when burned." "Which we all experienced." "Some of those hallucinations involved kissing the lips of an absolute angel." "[Giggles]" "What?" "Shaggy, what are you talking about?" "Oh!" "Sorry." "Continue." "Ancient shamen used Terrorwood smoke in their rituals thousands of years ago in the Amazon." "But there's something else I want you to see." "Oswald Burlington had a mystery-solving gang just like Mystery, Incorporated, although he called his the Benevolent Lodge of Mystery." "Two guys, two girls, and an animal mascot." "Hmm?" "Someone's there." "Who was it, Scoob?" " Don Fong?" " Dean Fenk?" " Dan Fluunk?" "Dean Funk-- I mean, Dan Fink." " Don Fong?" " No." "Fink Dan Don Fink Flunk Fluke." "Don't worry, Scoob." "The use of difficult phonetics aside, the villain could be any one of them." "But I think I know just how to smoke out the right one." "Oh, gee, gang." "We do love it here ever so much." "Yes." "The Burlington library is like our home away from home." "Like, we should stay here forever." "And ever, and ever." "Let's go unpack and move in for months and months and months." "[Rings]" "[Siren] [Tapping]" "[Beeps and whirs]" "Well, other than the [indistinct] tension wire being a little slow," "I'd say that was one perfect trap." "Now, let's see who's really behind all this Terrorwood smoke." "Dan Fluunk?" "That doesn't make any sense." "You seemed like the nicest guy." "Why, Dan?" "Why?" "It's this place." "I can't take it!" "I've been here since I was born." "My family's been caretakers of the Burlington mansion, and then, the Burlington library, for generations." "I was born here, been here every day of my life, all alone up here on this mountain, tending this darn library!" "But it always seemed to be snowing, and I could never get warm." "Never!" "I hate the cold." "I hate the snow." "But the library could never be closed." "I never got a vacation, not one." "I found out about the Terrorwood when I accidentally burned some." "So I decided to use it to scare away anyone and everyone that came here." "So eventually, no one would come anymore, and I could close the place forever and go someplace warm." "And I would have done it, too, been somewhere warm by now, if it wasn't for you meddling snow-bound brats." "I don't mind going to prison." "Not one bit!" "At least I'll finally be someplace warm!" "[Laughing]" "You know, Don Fong here was only trying to warn you." "[Muttering]" "Throwing meat is a sign of warning in his unspecified culture." "Luckily, I'm fluent in all unspecified languages, and I understood." "And we fell in love." "[Muttering]" "And I love you, too, honey." "Mmm." "[Muttering]" "Dean Fenk, what's going to happen to the library?" "Nothing." "I'm not changing a thing." "I love this library as-is." "It's my great honor to preserve it for posterity under the protection of Darrow University." "That's odd." "There's no one left inside that could have done that." "Do you recognize it, Dean Fenk?" "Yes, I do." "It's an ancient tome on alchemy by Bartemeo Magnus, alchemic magister to Holy Roman Emperor King Charles V." "Wait a second." "Bartemeo Magnus created the planospheric disc." "The planospheric disc?" "And if I'm not mistaken, this book is a 500-year-old user's manual." "[Both gasp]" "[Both gasp]" "[Wind howls]" "The Darrow family, aka the Mystery Fellowship." "It's all happened before, Velma." "Now what you got to do is figure out why."

"Previously on "Eye Candy"..." "Tessa has been going out with all of you matches from Flirtual." "This girl has got a death wish." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "We found a girl buried on Hart Island." "I need to know who this girl was." "The island will be deserted." "All you need is some DNA." "Did you see the person who attacked you?" "Now you listen to me, okay?" "You're gonna be fine." "You're not gonna make the same mistake I did." "One day you're gonna find her and she'll be beautiful." "And she'll be perfect." "Now you be a good boy now, okay?" "Just sit tight and someone will be here soon." "Just don't come in the next room, okay?" "Hey, lovers, leave a message." "Downloaded from G2G.fm" "Lindy?" " Lindy?" "!" " Sophia?" "Stay behind the gun." "I intend to." "That's blood." "Yeah." "A lot of blood." "That's Tessa." "Is that a dead body?" "I've never seen a dead body." "It's a dead body." "Okay, I'm just gonna stay over here." "You coming?" "Yeah, I'll be right up." "Let's find your sister." "Sure." "Thanks." "There's blood on the kitchen floor..." "So he killed her there, and then he placed her here." "Someone stumbled upon Tessa's murder, locked themselves in the bathroom as he smashed his way through." "Sophia." "He has Sophia." "Call her." "I tried earlier, it keeps going to voice-mail." "Call her again!" "Wait, do you hear that?" "Yeah, it's Sophia's phone, I know the ring." "Where is it?" "I'm looking." "No." "What?" "It's coming from over there." "Hey, lovers, leave a message." "Get me a towel." "I think I'm gonna be sick." "Got it." ""Follow us and they die." "Call the police and they die."" "I think this is it." "These burial markers must signify plots, not graves." "If we're right, my sister will be buried here." "What's the map say?" "Over there." "Here." "Thanks." "You're just in shock, George." "Of course I'm in shock." "She's dead!" "Why is she dead?" "!" "Breathe." "I liked her." "Why isn't this place crawling with cops?" "I'm the only cop you need to concern yourself with right now, okay?" "What?" "!" "But she's dead!" "Jake has Lindy and Sophia." "He said he'll kill them if we get the cops involved." " What?" "!" " Calligan." "What is happening right now?" "Chase the killer?" "Just in and out." "I don't like the way I feel right now." "You know, like I'm hot." " Just pouring sweat..." " It's okay." "I can't breathe." "I'm sweating and the walls are just... they're closing in..." " You're in shock!" " What the..." "Breathe, just breathe!" "And that's supposed to help me?" "!" "Breathe?" "That's a good idea." "I should've tried that first before you slapped me, Connor!" "The police know Jake's the killer." "They're on their way over." "Great." "Two... four... eight." "It should be around here." "Hey." "It's gonna be okay." "I know this is hard but it's gonna be over soon." "Hey, over there." "Someone's already been here." "What's going on, Jake?" "I don't know." "But we've come this far." "We should dig." "Can't do it alone." "I can't find Tessa's phone anywhere." "It's not on her body." "He took it." "George?" "Phone's off the grid." "Look, I don't know how Jake compromised the Cyber Crimes Unit but he's known things he shouldn't know." "Whether it's bugged or he has someone in there, we can't tell anyone about Sophia and Lindy." "Really?" "Yes, really." "That means it's up to us to find them, you hear me?" "Find them, right." "Right." "I'm not gonna let anything happen to them." "I need you to be the best journalist you can and find out who Jake Bolin really is." "You need to scour the city, find any clues." "You want me to hack the city?" "Yeah." "I don't have the hardware software to pull that off." "I'd need access to the entire Cyber Crimes Unit." "I'll get you what you need." "Okay." "Did you ever meet Sophia's friend Tessa?" "Tessa?" "No, I don't think I did." "Why?" "Sophia found out that she was dating my matches on Flirtual." "That sounds weird." "Why would anyone do that?" "I don't know, you tell me." "Were you seeing her?" "What?" "It's a simple question." "I'm not sure I like what you're suggesting." "I found Tessa's phone in your bag." "Were you seeing her?" "What are you doing?" "Ruining my gift to you." "Finally." "I just wanna take it." "This moment will make it special." "Make it just right." "I'm gonna fix this." "No..." "You're the kind of girl that you like to control everything that everyone fixes!" "God." "It's you." "Eye Candy?" "How did you know where I lived?" "Creeped you out, didn't I?" "It's the pillow." "I feel hungover but we didn't even drink." "I'll go with you to the end of the line, Lindy." "Surprise!" "You're him." "Him who?" "The killer." "Hello, Eye Candy." "Why?" "!" "Why what?" "You killed Ben." "Yeah." "Yeah, I did." "I've killed a lot of people, all for you." "No." "Now don't you wanna open it?" "See what's inside?" "You open it." "Don't want the thrill for yourself?" "Open it!" "Suit yourself." "What is this?" "There wasn't much left inside." "The girl who was buried here was not your sister." "How do you know?" "Because on that tablet, there's a video that will tell you exactly what happened to her." "Go on, pick it up." "Pick it up!" "Ha!" "No!" "I didn't wanna have to do this but I guess we're gonna have to go back to the beginning so you can understand everything." "We all have to die to be reborn, Lindy." "Where you been?" "Busy." "Where are you taking that case?" "I can't let that leave the building." "It's probably better if you don't ask me anything else." "Don't try and catch this guy on your own time..." "I don't have a choice." "Now get out of my way." "No!" "Then I'm sorry." "Hello." "You're in." "I'll be right there." "Private enough?" "It'll do." "Let's see if Tommy delivered the goods." "Shall we?" "Hello, Cyber Unit." "Okay, accessing the city security cameras." "Working the search facial recognition." "Credit card transactions, train stations, airports." "Do you know how dangerous it is for a person like me to have access to this kind of stuff?" "It's like giving crack to a baby." "It just won't end well." "Is that what I think it is?" "Yup." "What is that?" "Something we can thank the NSA for." "Something..." "No one talks about." "Not yet." "Tell me what you got." "Okay, Jake did his undergraduate in Australia." "He majored in computer science with a focus on artificial intelligence." "From the papers he wrote, he seems like an extremely smart individual." "Someone with that kind of skill could've pulled this off." "Yeah, but from where?" "It gets better." "While he was studying, there were four unsolved murders in the town surrounding Sydney." "They match the killer's MO." "Like he was warming up." "Bolin was the last name of the aunt who raised him after his parents died." "There's no US birth certificates with that name." "Probable he deleted it." "But I crosschecked with his age and NYC hospital records..." "Bolin was his mother's maiden name." "Father:" "Leo Langley." "Both US citizens." "Father had a record." "He was imprisoned at Rikers for violent assault." "Guess it runs in the family." "I've checked Jake's cell phone activity." "There are big gaps in time where he just disappears in the network." "Disappears?" "Where is he going?" "Somewhere that isn't getting cell service." "Looks like the mother's cause of death was a drug overdose, not a car accident." "She was court-ordered to receive treatment at Mercy Shores Women's Recovery Center on Hart Island." "That's it." "Rikers island prisoners bury unclaimed bodies on Hart Island." "That's where his parents met." "He's taking them where it all began." "That's where they are." "George, you stay here." "You're gonna be our eyes and ears..." "let's go." "Wait, wait, I checked, there's no phone service on the island." "Here, take my satellite phone." "Thanks." "Boy." "What took you so long, sweetheart?" "Sit down." "Sit down!" "I need to tell you a story about how it all began." "This is where they met..." "And fell in love." "He believed he'd found the perfect girl." "I'm getting released at the end of the month." "I'm gonna come back and I'll break you out of this place." " Promise?" " Langley!" "Promise." "And he did exactly as he said he would." "Let's go away." "They were in love." "Just like us." "And it was... it was perfect, like you and I could be." "I told you I'd come back." "He thought it would stay that way." "Clara?" "He thought it was gonna be forever." "But he was wrong." "Am I wrong about you, Lindy?" " Clara?" " Hi." "You promised you wouldn't anymore." "You disgust me." "Look at what you've done to yourself." "You used to be so beautiful and you have ruined yourself." "You have ruined everything!" "I work all day and this is what you do in front of our son?" "!" "And that's when he did it." "He..." "Killed my mother." "And then he killed himself." "Why are you telling me this?" "Because you need to know, Lindy, monsters are made." "Pain festers and..." "Makes monsters of us all." "Why me?" "Why'd you do this?" "I've spent my life looking for the right one." "So many people have lied to me, that have disappointed me." "And then I found you." "An end to my search." "What kind of end?" "And then you're gonna find her and she'll be beautiful and she'll be perfect." "You're the one." "You're my perfect one." "I'm not perfect." "I never was." "Looks like he set up a self-contained network on the island." "It's protected by one of the most sophisticated firewalls I've ever seen." "I can't break it." "There's 130 acres out there, George, they can be anywhere." "I need you to find their location somehow." "Sophia was worried about Tessa." "She had Lindy load malware into Tessa's phone." "He took it." "We use Tessa's phone." "George, I need you to break into the network and find out where that phone is." "Do you know how hard that is in this amount of time?" "!" "I trust you, George." "Don't let us down." "And, George..." "You can use it now." "Come to papa." "No." "No, no, see..." "Unlike the others, I can fix you." " What?" " Your floor is your sister, it's like a scar that needs to be healed." "I made you a gift." "To relieve that moment you couldn't save Sara." "Sophia!" "What are you doing?" "Now you can relive the moment and save her." "Help!" "She's gonna die." "Go look, go look out the window." "Look out the window." "Help!" "Run." "Go, run." "Run, save her!" "And save yourself." "Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!" " Sara!" " Help!" "Sophia!" "Sophia?" "It's okay." "I am so sorry." " He killed Tessa." " God." "We need to get the hell off this island." "You be a good boy now, okay?" "The boat was here." "We're trapped?" "We're just gonna steal a boat?" "Yeah, you got a problem with that?" "You're the cop." "Hello, George." "Hey, buddy, what are you doing here?" "Why do you have your hands on that?" "My new girlfriend." "How'd you find us?" "As soon as you activated it I knew where it was." "The killer has Lindy and Sophia, doesn't he?" "He said he'll kill them if we get the police involved." "So where are we going?" "All right." "Okay, so Jake set up a private network on Hart Island." "But we need to find a vulnerability in the firewall and see how we can geolocate Tessa's phone." "Okay, her phone will show us where they are." "Doesn't sound so hard." "All right, now let me on that..." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "What do you think you're doing?" "No, no, no, no, no, no, no." "See, this... this right here is the Ferrari of Hackdom." "Okay, do you know how long" "I've waited, how I've wanted to drive a Ferrari?" "Sorry, no can do." "No, no, I'm sorry, Yeager, but last time I checked, you have no power here." "You take orders from me, okay?" "Captain... first officer." "Destiny's child..." "Beyoncee." "You, one of the other two." "You wanna find them or not?" "Of course I do." "Now get to work, "single lady."" "We have to get a message out somehow." "We have Tessa's phone." "My God." "Call someone." "I can't." "There's no service here." "But look." "The phone's picking up on a private network." "He's created his own network somewhere on the island." "If I'm right..." "We should be able to get a message out from there." "I found a vulnerability on a remote management system that appears to be randomly opening and closing." "Good." "Easy." "Easy does it." " Give me the codes." " Sent." "Okay, bombarding the port, rerouting the firm wire." "Okay, baby, speak." "Come on." "It's happening." "We're in!" "Can't you do the message thing from out here?" "No." "I have to get to his computer." "It's this way." "Here, look." "Power and antenna cables." "You know this is a really bad idea, right?" "This is gonna work, Sophia." "All right, so..." "No." "Tommy, I'm on the network." "I found Tessa's phone using the malware Lindy loaded." "The problem is, Jake's phone is converging on it." "Where are they?" "They are at the abandoned fort on the southeast side." "Got it." "This is it?" "This is where he's been doing everything?" " There's no keyboard." " No." "Hello, Lindy." "Nice to meet you." "What would you like to know, Lindy?" "Everything." "They're all liars." "So delicate..." "You know I have to kill you..." "I need someone..." "God." "He's been watching me all along." "... taste your fear." "You're perfect, the one..." "It's like some sick and twisted love letter to you." "They don't love you." "Not like I do." "Play first entry." "This was the day it all began." "She was sick and twisted and it destroyed my father." "And destroyed us." "That's enough." "We're leaving." "I'm leaving you!" "Do it." "Do it, Jake." "End it." "End her pain." "Kill her." "It was the only way." "Hey, sweetheart." "I just wanted her and her sickness gone." "I always think about the number of hair follicles on my mother's wrist before I killed her." "All it took was one air bubble." "What are you doing?" "No, no!" "No, no, no, no..." "God, no..." "It was all her fault." "No, no..." "She ruined everything." "My God." "Jake killed his own mother and then his father killed himself because he thought that she died from a drug overdose." "Is there anything else, Lindy?" "Sara!" "Show me entries for Sara Sampson." "We should go." "Just give me a minute to get this." "Teller log to USB drive." "Come on, come on, come on." "Lindy, we have to go!" "You shouldn't be here, Lindy." "No!" "Sophia, no!" "No..." "No one should be here." "Shh..." "Hey..." "Hey... hey..." "Your friends are here now." "Come with me now and maybe they can save her." " I'll go around back." " Great." "Sophia." "You're okay, I got you." "You're okay." "What took you so long?" "You know me." "Always fashionably late." "You are not gonna die." "Come on." "I got you." "Stop!" "Tommy, listen to me." "I need you to save Sophia." "You need to do this for me." "Too many people have died because of me." "It has to be this way." "No." "The only way I can forgive you for what you did is to save Sophia." "I'm not leaving you alone with him." "Sounds like you're left without a choice." "I love him, Tommy." "No, you don't." "You don't mean that." "She chose me." "Go." "Lindy, no." "Please, Tommy." " Go." " Go!" "I will never stop looking for you, Lindy." "I know." "All right, what do we got?" "All trace of Lindy and Jake Bolin has been wiped from the Internet." "Their identities have been completely erased." "It's been 12 hours." "Any hits in facial recognition?" "Come on, people, find me something!" "Yeah." "Tommy, I need your help." "Open it." "It's everything I found out about your sister." "Where are we going, Jake?" "To find her." "Attention, passengers." "Train three to Utica will be departing in four minutes." "This is going to my hometown." "We better get going, the train's boarding." "It's gonna be perfect." "Inbound train from Yonkers will be arriving in five minutes." "Promise." "One, two, three." "Flirtual." "What did you do?" "They know who you are." "There's nowhere for you to go and nowhere for you to run." "Hey." "Don't move, man." "Get back!" "Get down!" "I said get down!" "All of you, get on the ground now!" "Get your hands up!" "Move in!" "Freeze, don't you move." "Don't move, don't move." "You don't know where she is, do you?" "Guess she set us both up then, didn't she?" "Looks to me that she set you up." "Go on." "Ask me what it was like to be with her..." "Intimately." "Who operates this murder?" "Maybe someone sicker than me." "Where did she go?" "Where?" "!" "I think I've said enough." "I wanna talk to my lawyer now." "Now, where was I?" "I was thinking that we could start in Mykonos and then..." "Then of course we need to head down to Santorini." "And you'd love Sicily." "You have to go there." "Lindy?" "Thank you for saving Sophia." "What are you doing, Lindy?" "I have a lead on my sister." "Whatever you're gonna do, let me help you." "No." "I can't put anymore people's lives at risk." "Lindy, please." "I'm gonna be okay, Tommy." "I have to do this alone." "Wait." "I'm sorry." "My God." "This is from the night Sara was abducted." "At least now they'll be safe." "Lindy will be safe." "For more new Episodes go to G2G.fm"

"Captain James Macleane for drunkenness, unruly behaviour causing an affray and disturbing the King's peace I hereby sentence you to be placed in the Knightsbridge debtors'jail and to be held there until you are sober." "Take him away." "# You're my whore" "# You're the one" "# Even old and poor" "# My twisted heart adores" "# Like a dog I will paw..." "Go!" "Oh, Jesus." "Rob!" " It's all right, son." " There was a ruby." "I swallowed it to keep it... for myself." "I'm sorry." " Come on, son." " Go!" "There was a beggar in there." " He might've seen your face." "Go!" " Come on, Rob." "Come on, my son!" " Go!" "Go!" "Go, I'm dead." " Here." "Take a bastard with you." "Name?" "Skull Dean." "I hanged Skull Dean a month ago." "Argh!" " Who's your partner?" " Be sure he'll kill you." " Argh!" " Who's your partner?" "Argh!" "Dog!" "All right." "All right." "Psst!" " Don't shoot me." "Please!" "Don't shoot me." " Now shut up!" " I've got money." "I can get you money." " Shut up and dig, you bastard beggar." "I'm neither of those things, actually." "I'm the son of a clergyman." "Get on with it." "Faster." "Oh." "Jesus Christ." "After you'd gone soldiers came and a man with a dog." " Mr Chance." " You know him?" " Oh, yeah." "I'm gonna fuckin' kill him." "I swear." "Here." " Do it." " I'm not very good at this sort of..." "All right." "OK." "Do it!" "No, you're too low." "Go higher up." "It's in his guts." "Clean it." "Oh, yeah." "Oi!" "Not so fast, vicar's boy." "Not my face!" "Not my face!" " Shit." " Wait." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Fuck!" "Piss off." " No, listen." "Wait." " Bugger off, vicar's boy." "Wait!" "Wait!" " We've got to surrender." "They'll shoot us." " Surrender's for wankers." " We surrender!" " Hold your fire!" " Body snatchers, sir." " Not now!" " Jamie?" " Lord Pelham." " Are you freed?" " In a manner of speaking." "My debts are to be paid in full." "Sorry, Pelham." "Mr Harrison, give Captain Macleane my berth in the royal suite." "I'm sure he'll prove a lucrative guest." " It could be arranged." " Thank you, my lord." "Hope it's quick." "When one goes, Jamie, one must go with style." "Macleane." "You can tell a gentleman." "And you can tell a bag of scum." "After you." "Captain." "# Climbing up the heavenly stairs" "# You know where you're going when you know where" "# You're going to hell" "# Yes, you're going to hell" "# You're going down a hundred and eighty degrees" "# You can see when you can see" "# You're going to hell" "# Yes, you're going to hell" "# You were weak, you were easy to squeeze" "# They did with you as they pleased" "# You're going to hell" "# Yes, you're going to hell" "# They're gonna tear you limb from limb" "# Because of your so-called sin" "# You're going to hell" "# Yes, you're going to hell!" "Captain Macleane!" "This man says he's got urgent business with you." "Much obliged to you, Mr Harrison." "Saved his life once." "He's followed me like a dog ever since." "It's rather sad, actually." "What do you want?" "You've just seriously compromised my social..." " Don't be a prick all your life." " Gentlemen, please!" " If you must be uncouth, do it elsewhere." " My fault entirely, gentlemen." " Shouldn't have mentioned the French." " No, perhaps you shouldn't." "All right, chinless." "You remember that ruby?" "What, the one everyone eats?" "We can buy our way out of this place." "Well, where is it?" "That's marvellous." "My freedom's at the mercy of your bowel..." " Our freedom." " Slip of the tongue." "Yeah." "I provide the ruby, you do the talking, right?" "We have a gentleman's agreement." "That's nice." "Now, if you'll excuse me, the jailer's daughter requires my attention." "And do help yourself." "I recommend the prunes." "Know what I mean?" "Who ate all the pies?" "Oh, my angel." "My siren's song!" "You've ambushed me in the forests of your hair." "You've drowned me in the pools of your eyes." "You've shackled me to the poetry of your lips." "Oh, I do like to hear a fine gentleman talk." "Lady Tipton went to Hampstead with the Duke of Northumberland won fifteen hundred and left with the Duke of Norfolk." " Oh, really?" " I've heard it a hundred times before!" "Bastard." "I'll wager ten guineas that Macleane whips his cream before the strumpet." "Twenty says the whore squeals first." "Thirty guineas says they arrive together." "Care to express an opinion?" "Yes." "You've more money than brains." "Come on." "Eyes shut, head down, think of England." "Come on, the jessie." "Ride him hard." "Ride him low." " Oh!" " Oh!" " Oh." " Fuck!" "Thirty guineas each, gentlemen." "Fuck!" "Come on." "Push, push, push." "Go on." "Go on, go on, go on." "Yes." "Congratulations." "It's a girl." "Yeah." "Ruby." "This goes a long way towards establishing your innocence, Macleane." "Mr Harrison, if wisdom grew on trees, you would be a bush." " You mock me, sir?" " Mock you, sir?" "Mock me not, sir." "No man mocks me, sir." "The wise man mocks the man." "The mocked man mocks the mocker." "Right." "Good." "Leave this with me." "Well a gentleman always keeps his word." "Yeah, but you ain't no gentleman, are you?" "Yeah." "While you were fucking, I was listening." "Yes, well, there you are, you see." "No, no." "I mean I was listening to your friends." "You see, a wise man might get rich by listening in the right places." "I'm sure he might." "See, what I'm saying is that we could prosper together." "You and me." "Eh?" "Look, I'm not altogether sure what you're suggesting, but, you see I'm a gentleman and, well, no offence intended but would you mind awfully fucking off?" "Whoops." "Sorry." "What to do with these fucking beggars." "Bastards!" "Ooh, hello." " No, I didn't think so." " Apparently some sort of child prodigy." " What, on the piano?" " Yes." "Course, the problem is..." "You know the rich but you ain't one." "They're laughing at ya." " Poppycock." " I could set you up." "Young man." "More money than sense." "They'd welcome you with open arms." "Then you'd discover who was worth stealing from." "When." "Where." "Right?" "I'm not sure." "I'm sick of taking scraps." "I'm talking big." " You forget something." "I have morals." " Oh, do ya?" "Most definitely." "Yes, I do." "How big?" "Big." "America." "One or two big jobs, then I'm off." " Hm." "Hardly a place for a gentleman." " Exactly." "I've got the brains, skill..." "And you can pass yourself off as a gentleman." "You in or out?" "To pass as a gentleman I would need a good address, exquisite clothes servants, a huge pile of loot." "Let's shop." " # You are my whore" " Here we are, sir." "# You are the one I adore" "# You're the one" "# My heart beats for" "# You are my whore" "# Even now, old and poor" "# You're the one that my twisted heart beats for" "# You are my whore" "# Like the dog, I will gnaw" "# Like the dog, a dog" "# I will paw" "# You are my whore" "# On my knees on the floor" "What?" "# You're the one, the one" "# I adore" "# You're the one that my twisted heart beats for" "What?" "The walk?" "Everyone's doing it this summer." "Come on, then." "Don't let playing the gentleman go to your head." "All of this is business." "I wouldn't be seen dead with you otherwise." "Wanker." "Oi!" "Catch." "Spend it wisely." " So, who are we looking for?" " Old friend." "Knows everyone." "Oi!" "Ten says the black kills the white." " Rochester!" " Hello." "You're looking rather dashing." " Last I heard..." " Yes?" "...you were in the vagrant cage." "Again." "Vicious rumour." "I have rooms at the Athena." "Really?" "Hm." "I must come up and see you sometime." "Still swinging both ways, Rochester?" "Jamie I swing every way!" "Twenty to one, then?" "Well, hello." "And who is this delightful piece of rough?" " My man." " Really?" "Don't you just love a juicy cockfight?" "Hm?" "Oh, please." "Ten guineas, I believe." " Did you know something I didn't?" " I know everything." " So where's the game tonight then?" " Chez moi." "And do bring your man along with you, won't you?" "Home, please, and don't spare the horses." " Fuck!" " Oh!" "Bad luck, Jamie." "Mm!" "I win." "I win." "Again." "There you are, my darling." "Have a chocolate." "Not your night, Jamie, hm?" "I'll win it back." "So, who else does fortune favour this evening?" "Apart from yourself, that is." "The Lord Chief Justice Gibson." "It's my impression that his opponents always let him win." "I wonder why." "Is he filthy rich or stinking rich?" "Fucking rich." "Well, hello." "Do excuse me." "Winty, Dixie, how was your concert?" " Fucking magic!" " Hang on..." " You are not a gentleman." " I'm sorry?" "No gentleman would stare at a lady like that in public." "I do beg your pardon." "Captain James Macleane at your service." "Oh." "So you are a gentleman." " Yes." " What a shame." " Jamie..." " Who was that?" "Lady Rebecca Gibson." "Very choice." "Very choosy." "Ooh, I'd like to introduce you to some of my chums." "Come on." " All right." " Geezer." " Nicely." " Aren't they dear?" "So who's the big prize?" "Tonight's big winner, for your information, is the Lord Chief Justice." "He'll be in the park within the hour." "West gate." "Good luck." "No, we do this bit together." "Let's go." "God Almighty, Rebecca." "Lord Sibley's rich, well-proportioned." "He sends me to sleep." "Well, I dare say he'd keep you awake if you'd give him half the chance." "That's very funny, but he makes my flesh crawl." "My dear, do you think the human race would continue to reproduce itself if it worried about such silly things, hm?" "Stand and deliver!" "Oh." "Move!" "Move it, fat boy." "Out!" " Out!" " This is preposterous." "You, out!" " Do you know who I am?" " Yeah." "Fill it." " I'll see you hanged." " Oh, yeah?" "Get back." "Watch his face, you vicious bitch." "Deal with her!" "That's really no way to talk to a lady." "Please accept my most humble apologies for this terrible and unnecessarily violent inconvenience." "Would you kindly remove your valuables?" "The, er..." " Take it." " We don't need it." " I'll take it." " All right!" "Take it!" "Hurry up!" "I'm sorry." "Agh!" "I'm never bloody doing that again." " I was blinded by you." " Oh, shut up." "What...?" "Wait!" ""Late last night the Lord Chief Justice's coach was held up in Hyde Park. "" ""Lord Gibson and his ward and niece, Lady Rebecca, were robbed of monies..." ""One of the two highwaymen acted with such curious civility as to raise suspicion he might be a gentleman. "" "Might be, could be, but definitely is a tosser." "Surely, Mr Speaker, when the Lord Chief Justice himself is the victim of robbery the time has come for legislation." "The present system is no system at all." "We need a Police Act now." "I'm obliged to the Honourable gentleman for raising this important matter but, as usual, he evades the issue." "I assume, Mr Speaker, that the Lord Chief Justice is referring, in his customary cheeseparing manner..." "Cheeseparing!" "Sir, hang the expense!" "The issue is freedom." "With a government-controlled police force, freedom is a lamb led to the slaughter." "We all know what you're interested in, and it certainly isn't freedom!" "Order!" "Are you never without your Bible, Mr Chance?" "It's a great consolation to me in these wicked times." "The prime minister wishes to know how soon you can catch these highwaymen." "Very soon, given adequate means." "Mr Chance, may I ask you in the strictest confidence..." "What is your opinion of the Lord Chief Justice?" "A fine man and a worthy master." "But?" "Well, since you press me I must be frank." "I think he's tired." "The job needs someone more energetic with an ear closer to the ground." "You know, I do hate to be critical..." "The prime minister likes to be kept informed." " Go on, say it." " Say what?" " Six-nil." " That's right." "Don't worry, old man." "You'll get the hang of it." "Hand up." "Just one thing." "When I..." "Nice bit of lunch." "They'll all be there, you know." "Lord Braithwaite one of the richest men in Sussex." "Sir Oliver Potter Mr "Coffee Beans"." "Lady Estelle D'Arcy as rich as she is horny." "Do you think this waistcoat looks well with these breeches?" "Absolutely." "Enough information to keep us going for months." "Hm." "And I was thinking the blue silk coat as well, yeah?" "Exactly." "And remember this is work, not pleasure." "Pleasure." "What's that?" "Marvellous." "Well, hello!" " Dixie!" " Right." "Winty!" " You remember Jamie Macleane?" " Definitely." "Dixon and Winterburn are renowned for their parties." " Get out of 'ere!" " It's true." " Stop it, go on." " Shall we?" "Run away." "Behave." "The Earl of Rochester and Captain James Macleane." "Beautiful diction." "Hello." " Hello." " The Earl of Lancashire..." "Hello, ladies." "How are you, hm?" "Ladies." "You've turned out very nicely." " Fancy your chances?" " Please!" "Lady Estelle D'Arcy." "Owns half of England." "Hello." " It's the ungentlemanly gentleman." " Yes." " Still staring." " Apparently so." "I'm Rebecca Gibson." "James Macleane." " You've hurt your hand." " You haven't heard?" " No?" " I punched a highwayman." "Good grief." "When did that happen?" "Last night on our way home from Rochester's." "They stopped our coach." " How dreadful." " Actually, I nearly beat them off." " Really?" " Yes." "Suppose they'll both hang sooner or later." "So if you're not a gentleman, what are you?" " What would you like me to be?" " I'd like you to be what you are." "Have we met before, sir?" "No, but I have a very familiar face and voice and physique." "Captain James Macleane, Lord Gibson, my uncle." "We met at Rochester's." " The devil we did." " Delighted to make your acquaintance." "I suppose he hasn't twopence to rub together, yet you think he's marvellous." " Well, he doesn't make my flesh crawl." " Thank you." "I'm a good judge of character, Macleane." "And in my opinion you're in deficit." "That is to say, I see nothing noteworthy about your physiognomy or your general appearance." "In summary, I don't like the cut of your jib." "Good night to you, sir." "Rebecca." "Rebecca!" " What happened to your lip?" " My horse threw me." "Good night." "Jib!" " Good evening, Lady Rebecca." " Mr Chance." "You look enchanting as ever." "May I say how sorry I am to hear about last night's misadventure?" "I promise you the villains will be disembowelled." "That's thoughtful of you." "May I say you danced..." "Oi!" "Estelle D'Arcy's here." "The richest woman in England." "I know." "So what the fuck you standing there for?" "Get on it." "Find out where she keeps her stuff." "I've just been dancing with Rebecca." "The thought of "getting on" to Estelle D'Arcy is unthinkable." "Well, think of Rebecca and the money." "She won't want a pauper." " Show a bit of character!" " All right!" "Captain James Macleane." "At your service." "Whatever do you mean?" "Surely not here." "Oh, my angel." "My siren's song." "You've ambushed me in the forests of your hair." "You've drowned me in the pools of your eyes." "You've shackled me..." "Oh, do shut up!" "Fuck me!" "I'm ruined." "I am finished!" "It's all your fault, you misbegotten pimp." "How was I to know she had the pox?" "I should have realised." "The richest woman in England." "Of course she's got the pox!" " Calm down." "It'll be worth it." " Worth it!" "My John Thomas is a complete disaster area!" " Look!" " I don't wanna look." "Look!" "Look!" "Jesus Christ." "And you say it'll be worth it!" "The whole paraphernalia's on fire!" "Information is all you care about." "Information, information." "America, America, America." "I hope you drown on the way!" "And Rebecca's lost to me." "How can I make love to her with the pox?" "Agh." "What's that?" "Ugh." "Plunkett's Patent Pox Cure." "Used to be an apothecary, didn't I?" " What?" " Does it work?" "It has been known, yeah." "Just be very careful, all right?" "Typical aristocracy." "She gives you the pox and then four days later she's marrying someone else." " Poor bastard." " Rich bastard." "Marriage à la mode, my dear Plunkett." " Love you, darling." " I love you, too." "Love her fortune, that is." "There they are:" "the Devonshire diamonds." " See your Rebecca's here." " Is she?" " Where?" "Where?" " End of the table, right-hand side." "Bastard!" "What rhymes with Rebecca?" "Pecker." "How is the old, er..." " Ah, much better, thank you." " Good." "I think it's got bigger, if you can imagine such a thing." "I'd rather not." " Right, let's get going." " Yes." "My new mask." "Shall we?" "Right." "Three minutes." "Oh, hello!" "Look at these." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "I crave your attention, but not half so much as I crave your valuables." " This is part of the entertainment." " Bloody realistic." "Not part of the entertainment." "I am the Gentleman Highwayman." " The most wanted man in England!" " Oh, marvellous." "Men and women tremble when they see me, but for very different reasons." "Good, isn't he?" " Pin." " Please don't take that." " It was given to me by my mother." " I consider it my duty, as a gentleman to inform the lucky bridegroom that his bride is afflicted with the pox." "Lies!" "Lies!" "How dare you?" "How dare you spoil my wedding feast?" " Shoot these blackguards!" " You didn't fuck her, did ya?" "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." "You have been a most attentive and, I trust, rewarding audience." "Let's go." "Come back!" "Come back, you thieving shits!" "Get back here now!" "Come back!" " Come back!" " Wait for me." "Come back!" "Who were those buggers?" "Buggers with style, my darling." "Buggers with style." " Out of my way." " Party over." "Fucking brilliant!" "Fake!" "Imitation." "Paste." "Glass." "Fucking aristocracy!" "Still, I was fabulous and it was a bloody good laugh, huh?" "No more spending, no more gambling, no more laughing." " All right?" " What are you talking about?" "We can't afford it." "You've clawed your way up from the gutter, haven't you, Chance?" " You could say that, sir." " I do say that, sir." "What's it feel like to look down on your humble origins from the dizzy heights?" "Does it make you giddy?" "Make you fearful of slipping and stumbling and falling back into the slime?" "If I may be so bold as to remind your lordship..." "That you bribed me to keep your path clear?" "Hm." "And a damn good job I've made of it." "But your inefficiency has caused the prime minister to turn against us, Chance." "We must catch those two to stem the tide." "I promise you, sir, within a month..." "A month!" "Today, Chance." "Now!" " You and I stand or fall together." " Indeed, my lord." "I promise you, sir, they will be caught and punished." "I give..." "Lady Rebecca, you look more radiant than ever, if I may say so." "You are too kind." " I could be kinder." " Mr Chance I do believe you have halitosis." "Stand and deliver!" " Bugger off!" " Cheers, mate." "Stand and..." "I pay you yet you do nothing." "I pay you yet you do nothing." "I pay you." "Why?" "Two highwaymen still free and able to rob and go as they please." "And you..." "You do nothing." " How long has it been, Eddie?" " Nearly a month, Mr Chance." "Nearly a month, Mr Chance." "What the hell is going on?" "!" "Plan of action!" "I want you to visit every firework-maker every gunpowder warehouse every apothecary in London." " There's hundreds of them." " What was that, Joshua?" " Nothing, Mr Chance." "Nothing." " On your knees." " I didn't say anything." "Kneel down." "Mr Chance, I didn't..." "Open your mouth." "Open your mouth!" "Swallow it!" "Swallow it." "We must have discipline." "Dog's bollocks!" "That was close." "Yeah." " We can't stay here long." " No, no." "Long enough to celebrate." "Hm?" "Yeah." " Yes?" " It's me." "I wanna go." " Yes." "In a minute." " Well, hurry up!" "It's Rebecca..." " Please, sir, don't." " Come back!" "Fucking leave her." "You fucking leave her!" "Fuck!" "Oh!" "Agh!" "Plunkett, no!" "No!" "No!" "Not here, not now!" "What's going on here?" "This vermin threatened me with a knife." "Yeah?" "Next time it won't be a threat." "I demand satisfaction, sir." "Tomorrow... at dawn." " He is my servant." "Etiquette forbids it." " Fuck that!" "Oi!" "Ten paces, please, gentlemen, and turn and wait." "I will then release this handkerchief whereupon you may advance and shoot in your own time." "Proceed, gentlemen." " What a shot!" "What a shot!" " Yes!" "Thank the Lord!" "My turn." "I believe I am entitled to my shot." "But he bloody cheated!" "Let him take it." "Shit." "Shit!" "Agh!" "Oh, my God!" "He's hurt." "He's hurt." "He's hurt." "He's all right." "Where on earth did you find him?" "The church, actually." "Yes." "He was on the verge of taking holy orders." "Oh." "And did you instruct him in the use of the pistol?" "Everything he knows of the martial arts, madam, he learnt from me." "More tea, Mr Plunkett?" " Fruit cake?" " No, I'm all right, thanks." "I understand the gentleman with whom you duelled is still thirsting for your blood." "I'll drink him under the table." "Quel courage, Monsieur Plunkett." "When a brave new gentleman comes upon the scene we ladies are quite aflutter." "Mr Plunkett have you rescued any maidens in distress?" " Well, erm..." " I'm sure he would have rescued me had he been at hand when I was ambushed by highwaymen." "Plunkett prefers rescuing innocent dragons from fiery maidens." " Whereas I would have been delighted..." " Oh!" "My dear Rebecca, that robbery must have been dreadful for you." "Did they take everything?" "Yes." "All my precious jewellery." "You were robbed by the so-called Gentleman Highwayman, were you not?" "Yes." "Well, that must be some consolation." "Indeed." "The Gentleman Highwayman." "How exciting." "I mean, he could be..." "Bit of cake." "I didn't tell her." "Good as." "This "Gentleman Highwayman" shit's messed you up." "Shut up!" " This is gonna be the last one." " I'm just beginning to get the hang of it." "You'll end up on the wrong end of a Tyburn knot because of your lust." "My love, Plunkett." "Love!" "We're supposed to be chasing money, not women." " Have you never been in love, Plunkett?" " No." "Never." "All right?" " Stand and fucking deliver!" " Drop it!" "Now!" "Off!" "Down!" "Get down!" "Other side." "Other side." "Fucking stay there." " Oh, merde." " Hop out, Froggy." "Out!" " Out!" " Let me, let me, let me." "Uh, bonjour, monsieur." "Bienvenu sur I'Angleterre." "Je suis un gentilhomme de la route." "Ne make pas noise and tout will be bon." " Quoi?" "Que dites-vous?" " All je veux are vos valuables." "Please speak English." "Murder me, but not my language, you know." "I hope they hang you in Tyburn for your bad French." "Merci, monsieur." "I hope it rains every day of your fucking visit." "Oh!" "Oh, fuck me!" "Let's go!" "Run!" "Come on, son." "Come on." " Sh, sh, sh!" " Agh!" "Agh!" "Come on." "Mr Chance, sir." "Right, come on." "Come on." "Take it." "There we are." "That's it." "So where did you learn to be a nurse?" "What?" "Who was she?" "Hm?" "A couple of years ago I had a shop." "Apothecary stuff." "Lost it." "Ended up on the streets." "And Mary got sick and died." "I'm sorry." "Right." "I'm off to get the tickets." "What tickets?" "For America." "Managed to save enough for both of us." " Plunkett." " What?" "You saved my life." "In view..." "In view of last night's vicious assassination of the French ambassador I intend..." "I intend to bring this matter to a satisfactory conclusion forthwith." "The prime minister is increasingly concerned with Lord Gibson's health." "Use whatever means necessary to take these scoundrels by the end of the week and we'll find a way to pardon your past indiscretions and provide you with a more elevated title." "Do we understand each other, thief-taker-general?" "I'm going to be generous, Gibson." "I'm giving you two days to leave the country." "What?" "You're finished, my lord." " Face it." " How dare you, you insolent..." "I dare because I have the prime minister's authority." "Hah!" "Never." "Don't annoy me, Gibson or I'll send you straight to Tyburn." " Tyburn!" "Me?" "!" " I won't go alone, I promise you that." " I have absolution... from above." "How does it feel, my lord, to be staring into the abyss?" "You feel giddy?" "Now, let's be sensible." "We could still be mutually advantageous." "After all we've been through." "Let bygones be bygones, eh?" "I'll put two men at your disposal to ensure safe passage." "Be grateful." "You're a very lucky man." "What a pretty little eavesdropper." "I can see a little "breaking in" is required." "But no filly was ever the worse for that." "I like your tears." "They excite me." "I hope you shed many more." "Eddie." "Lord Gibson and Lady Rebecca." "Watch them." "Rebecca!" "Listen to me." "My uncle's ruined." "We're fleeing to France tomorrow night." "I'll be with him and so will the greater part of our fortunes." " Wait a minute." " Chance is providing an escort to Dover." " If you and Plunkett hold up the coach..." " What are you talking about?" "I know who you are." "Will you do it?" "Yes or no?" "Yes, I'll do it." " You're hurt." " It's not serious." "Plunkett." "What's she doing here?" "No, wait, Rebecca." "Tell him." "Tell him!" "We plan to leave London tomorrow night at ten o'clock." "I will be on that coach whatever happens." "Goodbye." " Will..." " Got the tickets." " Listen." " No, don't." " Listen." " I don't wanna know!" "You're on heat." "You can't even fucking think straight!" "Plunkett!" "Please!" "The answer's no." "Please." "Good morning." "What a hive of activity." " Chance, what news?" " Change of plan." "Whoa!" "Steady on there." "Steady." "Fuck!" "She ain't here." "Let's go!" " Where's Rebecca?" " Let's go." " I know you." " Where's Rebecca?" "Out!" "Macleane, hurry up!" "Where the fuck is she?" "You incompetent imbecile!" "What happened to my escort?" " I might have been killed!" " You were." "Rebecca didn't betray us." "I know it!" "I'm gonna find her." "Are you coming?" "I'll tell you what here's your ticket." "I need your help." "It's gone!" "For months I've been taking it." "I spent it on clothes, I spent it on drink, and the rest I lost at cards." "There isn't a penny left." "Fucking scum!" "We can still get Gibson's money." "It's not about the money." "Rebecca!" "Rebecca!" "Captain James Macleane." "This court has found you guilty of the murder of Sydney Henry, Lord Gibson." "Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?" "Yes, m'lud." "My lords, ladies and gentlemen I didn't kill Lord Gibson." "More's the pity." "But I am guilty of one thing, for which I am heartily sorry." "Namely, cheating my friend and fellow highwayman." "A man who has more nobility of soul in his little finger than any of you bloated bastards has in your entire bodies." "Silence!" "Silence." "The law requires that thou should return hence to the place whence thou camest and from thence to a place of execution where thou shall hang by the neck until the body be dead dead, dead!" "Lord have mercy on thy soul." "I'm sorry..." "I didn't betray you." "Don't worry." "You'll see him tomorrow." "Dancing the Tyburn jig." "Rebecca." "Walk on." "Go on." "It does not bring pleasure to my heart to stand and deliver the sorrowful tale of the man who now stands in the rattling cart" "Oh, for a week, for a night, for a day" "For the thrash of the wind and the pistol's bray" "Friends, for that right would you gladly be" "Dancing with the devil on the Tyburn gallows tree" "Proceed." "Cold-handed deliverer Feeder of flies" "Accomplice to murderer Mother of shame" "Gallows tree Gallows tree" "Bastard of history" "Taker of gentlemen" "Sweet James Macleane" "Open your eyes!" "Hold her!" "Ooh!" "Bless you for that, my darling." "Oh, for heaven's sakes." "Is he all right?" "Is he breathing?" "Rebecca, leave him, leave him." "Get him up!" "Get him up!" " You took your time." " I weren't sure you were worth it." "Come on." "In there quickly." "Get him inside." " Rochester..." " You know, my darling, I won't." "The New World... too far." "Too big." "Too primitive." "No, my place is here, corrupting the young." "You all right?" "Yeah." " What is it?" " Unfinished business." " Don't be silly." "We're almost away!" " I'll catch you up." " Oh, for Christ's sake!" " Just go on." "Go." "Go." "Come on." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Does that hurt?" "Only when I laugh." " Where's Macleane?" " Oi!" "Come on." "Well, we've had an exciting day, haven't we?" "Stiff drink and straight to bed for me." "Back to the real world." "I could quite get used to this adventure lark." "§ Nexus23.net Subrip § - a Kihei's Production" "# I'm walking a line" "# I'm thinking about empty motion" "# Motion, motion, motion" "# I'm walking a line" "# Just barely enough to be living" "# We're livin' life, life" "# Get outta the way" "# This isn't the time" "# Not talking about" "# I'm turning around" "# You notice there's nothing around you, round you" "# I'm walking a line" "# Divide and dissolve" "# Never get to say too much" "# Never get to talk" "# Tell us a little bit, but not too much" "# Right about then" "# Is where she gives it up" "# She has closed her eyes" "# She's given up hope" "# I turn myself around" "# Moving backwards and forwards" "# You're moving twice as much as before" "# I keep on diggin' to the centre of the earth" "# I'll be down there, movin' in the room" "# I'm walking a line" "# I hate to be dreaming in motion" "# Motion, motion, motion" "# I'm walking a line" "# Just barely enough to be living" "# We're livin' life, life, life" "# Get outta the way" "# This isn't the time" "# Not talking about" "# I'm turning around" "# I'm keeping my fingers behind me, 'hind me" "# I'm walking a line" "# Divide and dissolve" "# Immortal force, clouds of emotion" "# I see you feel the movements of the ocean, the endless devotion" "# Lost in the mystery These shoes were given to me" "# It's through here I shine the light in the air" "# This is the ancient ways of the Jedi" "# The life is ways The ways is known as I come" "# Everything is life to the elements" "# It's through here For a thousand years of splendour" "# Try to see past all the terror" "# And I won't surrender on these paths" "# Heard the last, but now that's in the past" "# The promised land, but the journey's never-ending" "# All this is strange music just blended in a haze" "# I always gaze at the stars" "# They camouflage the master race in charades" "# Through the conflict between us I'll read your aura" "# Conjure visions, scattered pictures, the sorcerer" "# Surround your entire cipher with satin" "# Start buggin' out like my 900 crashin'" "# I'm walking a line" "# I'm visiting houses in motion" "# I'm walking a line" "# Just barely enough to be living" "# Motion, motion, motion" "# Get outta the way" "# This isn't the time" "# Not talking about" "# I'm turning around" "# Two different houses surround you, 'round you" "# I'm walking a line" "# Divide and dissolve" "# I'm walking a line" "# I'm visiting houses in motion" "# Walking that line" "# Walking that line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Let your soul just shine" "# On the endless line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Walking that line" "# That line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Let your soul just shine" "# On the endless line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Keep walking that line" "# Walking that line" "# Walking that line" "# Keep walking that line"

"Murata" "Hajime Murata Record Birthdate: 11/29/2056 Age 13 Birthplace:" "Tokyo Height: 161.5cm Weight: 52.3kg Blood Type:" "A (RH+) *Notes" "Misumaru Middle School, Second Year homeroom C, Class Rep" "Family offour, relocatedto Tenmo four years ago" "Family Structure Father:" "Kazuo Murata-Mother:" "Kyoko" "Younger Sister:" "Futaba" "He's the student rep for my class." "Did his family move here from somewhere else?" "Four years ago from Tokyo." "His father is a salaryman at a firm." "He's currently away on an extended business trip." "Right now, the boy is living with his mother and younger sister." "This child..." "Did Hajime really see it?" "Yes." "He saw it, unfortunately." "Everything has started to move since he came here." "Yes." "I agree." "Look at you, hot stuff." "You're so popular." "Record of the School Wars:" "MURYOU" "Record of the School Wars:" "MURYOU I looked up at the sky..." "Ano sora o miagete" "Record of the School Wars:" "MURYOU ...and drew it in my heart kokoro ni egaita ...and drew it in my heart kokoro ni egaita" "Believe in your strength..." "Sono chikara o shinji ...and walk along arukidaseba ii" "Because winds may stab painfully..." "Itaku sasu kaze ya ...and uncertainty might wash you away fuan ni nagasare" "If you close your eyes..." "Hitomi o tojitara jibun o ...you may lose yourself miushinau kara" "I can fly higher and higher Motto takaku, takaku toberu" "Don't forget to take your courage Yuuki o wasurezu ni" "This won't change for..." "Iku sennen saki made ...thousands of years to come kawaranai" "Because the light is always there Hikari wa soko ni aru" "The Time to Move" "I'm sleepy." "Really..." "I mean really..." "Lately, when I walk the streets, I feel like people are looking at me." "It's only a hunch so I really can't ask anyone." "What matters more now, is that I'm sleepy." "Morning, Class Rep!" "Hey, morn..." "What's wrong?" "I couldn't get to sleep last night." "About our secret..." "He just saw it." "Nothing happened after that and you guys just let me go, so I kept thinking that, in the middle of the night, Moriyama might show up again with a mask on, and..." "Who's going to show up?" "Th...there she is!" "How rude." "You can relax." "We're not going to bother you anymore." "Huh?" "The issue is out of our hands now." "Anyway..." "Subaru!" "Yes?" "About what you said I was thinking about it, over and over inside my head all night long." "Which part?" "Anyway, I just have to tell you this!" "Muryou Subaru!" "What?" "Thank you." "I'm sorry." "I've learned a great deal from this." "And...!" "And?" "I hate you!" "I really, really, really, totally hate you!" "Yo!" "Are you having a lover's quarrel this early in the morning?" "The vice president likes the transfer kid." "Shun!" "Hey!" "Wait!" "Hey!" "No way!" "Wait!" "I never knew Moriyama was so funny." "I wonder if she gets her oddball tendencies from being so serious?" "You got off lucky." "All you lost was some sleep." "You should be glad." "You really are something." "Yes." "The situation was currently serious and extremely grave..." "The vice president likes the transfer kid!" "Yes." "The situation was currently serious and extremely grave..." "Yes." "The situation was currently serious and extremely grave..." "Supposedly, but..." "Wait Shun!" "Supposedly, but..." "Wait Shun!" "...there's no way that a normal eighth grader would understand that." "Is it you?" "Are you supposed to be the country bumpkin that showed up here?" "Who are you?" "That's what I want to ask you." "All right!" "Follow me." "KOnaya SnaCk-shOp" "KOnaya SnaCk-shOp I see." "So you're from Planet Zaigle." "I see." "So you're from Planet Zaigle." "Why did you come to this planet?" "Who are you?" "How do you know about our planet?" "The political situation, history, and general affairs of planets affiliated with the Federation are all common knowledge for a foreign diplomat." "Diplomat?" "A word of advice." "There are rules here." "Go back to your home planet immediately before the people of Earth do you in." "Us?" "By the earthlings?" "Don't mock me!" "We're..." "Zaiglians, right?" "I know..." "I know, because my planet's the one that recommended your planet to the Federation." "What?" "I'm Jiltosh, a Velunnian." "I'm a first class foreign diplomat, acknowledged by the Galactic Federation." "Then can we agree that the issue regarding the boy, Hajime Murata will be entrusted to me?" "We don't mind, but I wonder how the other four families will..." "Don't worry." "I will take care of that." "Lady Momoe, you seem to be very enthusiastic about this." "Yes." "I think it has brought back old memories." "I'm so bored." "Muryou Subaru, please!" "Oh." "It's you again." "Are you serious?" "About what?" "I found out when I was strangling Shun!" "What do you mean you volunteered to be the rep for both the Athletic and Cultural Festivals and on top of that, the Cheer Captain for the Athletic Festival?" "What do I mean?" "It's exactly what you just said." "You're completely underestimating student government activities!" "No I'm not." "Your apathetic attitude means you're underestimating it!" "What were you thinking?" "Can I leave it as..." ""I want to get to know you better?"" "I think you're really cute." "I knew there was something going on this morning!" "Uh... no..." "Details!" "Details!" "Quiet over there!" "I know what you're up to." "You're using the student government as an excuse to avoid the sports club recruiters." "I won't allow it!" "But...it was your fellow officer's idea." "No!" "Why?" "Because I can handle both!" "Exactly!" "Muryou!" "That's right!" "You can handle both study and sports!" "Well, sounds enticing, but..." "Join our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Well, you see..." "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "It's kind of a problem to just pick one club, too..." "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Our club!" "Then let's do this." "If you can't pick one, pick all of them." "Join all of them and make yourself useful!" "Why do I have to do that?" "Did you see his moves?" "After him!" "Go up to the roof." "What?" "You said this morning that you wouldn't bother me anymore." "Murata..." "Don't ask any questions and just let me use this on you." "That again?" "You and that alien both!" "What is that thing?" "A paralyzer that's been authorized by the Galactic Federation." "It can paralyze nerves... and alter brain cells." "I'm going to erase your memory." "I should have done this two days ago when I had the chance." "W...wait!" "What do you think you're doing?" "My memory?" "Which memory?" "About my power, the secret of Shingu, all sorts of things..." "Your memory from the last couple of days..." "Lately, this is all that's been happening to me." "S...stop..." "This is for your own good, Murata." "Sorry, Murata!" "How naughty!" "Aggressive girls are great!" "But, nobody likes someone who doesn't know what they want, Nayuta." "Who are you?" "Setsuna." "Hajime, are you all right?" "Don't trap yourself in a corner." "Apparently Grandma Momoe said she'd meet with Hajime." "Grandma, from our clan?" "By the way, you need to be more careful." "What are you guys doing?" "The door wouldn't open, so..." "This door is really broken." "Oh, that's right." "I brought him lunch." "Lunch?" "Lucky you!" "Want some?" "Lucky!" "Don't do that." "That's inconsiderate." "You're such a goody-goody." "I'm allowed to be, because I'm the class rep." "Hey!" "Someone bring his cushion!" "So what were you and Moriyama doing on the roof?" "I was getting blackmailed slash persuaded, I guess?" "Blackmailed?" ""Do something about Muryou Subaru!" "Aren't you the class rep?"" "This class is so crazy." "How so?" "Subaru and Ha-chan." "We have two not-so-normal people in this class." "Yup." "Yup." "I think that's pretty interesting." "What?" "You're treating us like we're weirdos!" "Subaru maybe, but I'm a normal boy!" "A normal boy that's not normal." "Hey!" "Then, how aboutjust " abnormal" ?" "That's even worse!" "She made it so no one could come up on the roof after me." "Normally I think things through, but when those two are involved, I turn into this space cadet that makes dumb mistakes!" "Amateur!" "Amateur!" "Amateur!" "Amateur!" "Amateur!" "Amateur!" "Shape up, me!" "That's fine, but you should stop saying your thoughts out loud." "Ow!" "Record of the School Wars:" "MURYOU" "See you later." "What?" "Nayuta and Muryou are passionately in love?" "Nayuta was hitting on him this morning and Muryou told her that he likes her." "The whole school's talking about it." "The whole school?" "I haven't heard it!" "I knew about it." "I did too." "Nayuta... fell for a fake like him?" "!" "A fake?" "You're the one who knows his strength best." "And why not?" "A tomboy like Nayuta is a perfect match for someone strange like him." "Putting that aside, Shun Morihata." "You stink like milk." "It's the wild horse's fault!" "Milk comes from a cow." "A horse!" "The one who is destined to protect the name of the Sanemori Clan can't date some random chump!" "I won't allow it!" "It's dripping onto the newspaper!" "First Athletic Festival Representatives Meeting" "Yes, so, Muryou Subaru from second year homeroom C has volunteered to be the White Team Cheer Captain." "Traditionally, the third year athletic council members would discuss this, pick the nominees and decide on someone, but this year, before we could even do that," "I was told by the class rep of second year homeroom C that Subaru had volunteered." "And so I'd like everyone to..." "Um, excuse me." "And so I'd like everyone to..." "Um, excuse me." "What is it, second year class C?" "I'm the one who volunteered..." "So, is it not allowed?" "Cutting right to the chase." "No, that's not what..." "I'm not done talking!" "Listen until I'm done!" "Hey, hey..." "We're not saying no." "We just wanted to get the third year reps' opinions first." "Getting straight to the point, well?" "What do you think, third year reps?" "Room B." "I think that's fine." "I was talking about it earlier with the others." "I think it's best to let the person who wants to do it, do it." "Second A!" "But, um..." "I'm not trying to put down the person from second year class C, but how about the other third years?" "How do the people from the sports clubs feel about it?" "The athletic festival is where the people from the sports clubs get to show off." "How will they feel about having a transfer student as the..." "That's right!" "In other words, is it all right to make this kind of a decision without everyone here?" "Let me remind everyone that the volunteer from second year class C is a transfer student that hasn't been here very long." "Of course he's not used to our school yet!" "He's still practically a guest." "I understand his enthusiasm, but what can we do?" "Hold it right there!" "They're here." "The Judo Club supports it!" "The Kendo Club supports it!" "So does the Baseball Club!" "We all support it!" "Thanks to an informant, we sports clubs have come to stop the student government's tyranny!" "Tyranny?" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "What!" "?" "The Sport Clubs raided in?" "Yeah." "Apparently all the sports clubs are trying to make Muryou Subaru the Cheer Captain of the White Team." "Subaru!" "Moriguchi!" "Was that good?" "Yes, thanks!" "Are you scheming something?" "You're so sly." "We are protesting against the tyranny of the student government that's monopolizing Misumaru Middle School, and its spirit of freedom and independence!" "That is a false accusation!" "We have seen Muryou Subaru's unparalleled athletic abilities with our own eyes and we are in absolute awe!" "This man was born for the Athletic Festival!" "I'm almost certain about that!" "But, the student government is ignoring Muryou's willingness to volunteer as the Cheer Captain, and..." "We are not ignoring it!" "M...meaning, we and the other students in the athletic council fully endorse and support Muryou Subaru's appointment as the Cheer Captain." "That's it." "Yes, exactly." "Are you sure?" "Absolutely!" "Then..." "Wait a second, Hachiyou!" "There's no need to wait!" "Kyoichi!" "Aren't you supposed to be doing your own work?" "Muryou Subaru!" "If you're going to be the White Team Cheer Captain..." "Then what?" "Then I'm going to volunteer as the Red Team Cheer Captain!" "W...wait, where did that come from?" "I'm going to crush you in the cavalry battle at the end!" "Okay, everyone!" "That's decided, so..." "First Athletic Festival Representatives Meeting Captains Decided White:" "Muryou Subaru Red:" "Kyoichi Moriguchi" "Hi!" "I'm coming in!" "This is great!" "This is awesome!" "The Showdown Mood is an A+!" "Ehem!" "A comment about this year's Athletic Festival, please." "I think it's gonna be White." "It's going to be Red!" "Good luck!" "Thanks." "Congratulations!" "Thanks." "Just you wait, Subaru!" "Wha..." "How did this happen?" "Wha..." "How did this happen?" "As the turbulent meeting was taking place at school I was also being faced with a turbulent moment of my own." "You're Hajime Murata?" "Yes." "Is it true that you saw the secret of Shingu?" "Shingu?" "The white giant." "When you say secret..." "Do you mean the part where Moriyama transforms into that Shingu thing?" "What did you think?" "What did I think?" "What did you think when you saw Nayuta turn into a monster?" "Oh!" "I was surprised." "But..." "But?" "I just thought, " Oh, that's so fitting for her."" "So fitting?" "Yes..." "That's what came to mind." "What did you think when you saw Kyoichi use his power?" "I thought, " Just who are these guys?"" "Oh, Muryou was also using his power, so that's why it's plural." "I guess it's strange." "Normally I think people would panic and yell " Oh my God!" , but I was thinking something else..." "Something else?" "I want to know more." "I want to learn more about Muryou..." "About Moriyama..." "And about this town..." "Why?" "Why?" "I think it's because I like everyone." "Thank you, everyone." "Please leave the rest to me." "As you wish." "Are you that worried about Murata?" "Or is it me?" "You are so self-involved." "I hate you!" "You're right!" "I'm worried about Murata!" "Hmm..." "Hey!" "I didn't mean it like that!" "Sanemori" "No can do!" "I can't let you see Hajime." "Why not?" "She's worried about Murata." "She feels responsible because she's the one that did all those horrible things to him." "Like attacking him in the middle of the night, and on the roof..." "Will you...!" "Now, now..." "Hajime is in the middle of something important." "He's getting the incantation you received when you were a child." "B...but we don't do that to outsiders!" "He'll be fine." "Come, come." "Why don't we go have tea at the outer building?" "I brought some really good manju." "I really could care less, but why have you been here since yesterday, sis?" "No way!" "She's your sister!" "?" "This is the first time we will be doing this in our long two-thousand year history." "But, it was foretold that this day would come, by an ancestor long ago." "The evolution of humans..." "The expansion of the realm in which humans live..." "When people become aware of how close the universe is humans will climb to further heights." "Let me tell you the history of the universe..." "The history of how the Galactic Federation State came to be..." "And the history of the people of Tenmo;" "how we, the Guardians, came to be..." "This solar system was an unknown realm to our ancestors." "Every planet competed to send their explorer ships out first to find the new Star Road." "It happened a long, long time ago." "Put your hand against mine." "This is kind of embarrassing." "Close your eyes." "Submit your heart to me." "Hajime is late." "He said he'd be at his friend's house." "The transfer student's !" "Damn it!" "Damn it!" "Damn it!" "Nayuta." "Come on, tell me." "Who do you like?" "Muryou?" "Hajime?" "Or... or..." "Is it...?" "Ew!" "She stinks like alcohol!" "Do something about her!" "Are you listening to me?" "Nayuta..." "Ew!" "She stinks like alcohol!" "Do something about her!" "Are you listening to me?" "Ew!" "She stinks like alcohol!" "Do something about her!" "Are you listening to me?" "Various people spend their nights in their own way, and wake up to various different tomorrows." "I wonder what kind of tomorrow I'll be having?" "To be continued in the next episode!" "To Be Continued" "Next Episode" "How is everyone doing?" "I'm Futaba Murata." "Lately it seems like all my brother talks about at home is Muryou Subaru." "Apparently he wears a school uniform, and lives all by himself in a place that looks like a tea ceremony room." "I wonder what kind of person he is?" "Next Episode of Record of the School Wars:" "Muryou!" "Gazing Ey es" ""Gazing Eyes!" Look forward to it!" "Gazing Eyes"

"Of Victoria's life." "Now that you are a part of all this, a part of us it is the root of your life." "You are an orphan no longer." "So you will stay with your family while we harvest the fruit." "It's a special time." "It's a time of magic!" "I really can't." "I have commitments." "What about the commitments to your family?" " What can be more important than that?" " I would like to, really." "But I can't." "He said you would not stay." " Who did?" " Alberto." "He said, "The first chance that gringo gets he will leave her."" " His exact words." " I'm not leaving her..." "No, I understand." "It's just my poor granddaughter." "He will whip her with it." "She'll be the one to pay for your "commitments."" "Such a pity." "Such a sweet girl." " It's just the difference of a day." " Our most important day." "The day that makes or breaks our fortunes." "That's what he will throw up to her." "For the rest of her life!" "I know my son." "Don Pedro." "You're right." "It's only one day." "I'll stay." "Right." "May I?" "It's a good thing." "You have no more chocolates to sell anyway." "Come on." " I thought you were leaving." " It's better for you if I stay." " At least until the harvest." " Don't you have chocolates to sell?" "Family comes first." "Hey, everybody." "I'm home!" "Hiya, sis!" "Hi, Jose." "Hi, Grandpa." "Hi, Grandma." "My favorite chili's ready?" " Hi, Mom." " At last!" "Hi, Pop." "Sorry I'm late." "This is my husband, Paul Sutton." "Paul, my brother." "You got hitched?" "That's swell!" "Victoria Sutton." "I like that." " Welcome to the family." "I'm Pete." " Thanks." "Who is "Pete"?" " Pa, come on." " I don't know any Pete." "I pay a fortune to Stanford University for a Pedro Alberto Aragon Limantour." "Maybe I'm paying for the wrong person, and I should stop the check." " Glad to meet you, Pedro." " Can we begin now?" "Make sure he knows what to do." "We don't want him cutting himself and getting blood on the grapes." "It'll ruin the taste of the wine." "Aren't you happy you stayed?" "Come on!" " How do they feel?" " They're a little big." "Like family, you must live in clothes for a while before they fit." " But you are doing great." " Not everyone would agree." "It's not easy being in charge." "It wasn't for me." "It's not easy for him." "Every man must find his own way." "But I have faith in my son." "And I have faith in you." "But your fly is open." "My wife's family, the Aztecs believe that you must have permission of the four winds to harvest what the earth gives." "Isn't she beautiful?" "Come on, you're a married woman now!" "What about Pedro?" " He's not married." " Neither are we." "I want you more than anything." "You can't imagine how I want you." "But I'm not free." "I won't hurt you that way." "I won't." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." " We can lead the market, not chase it." " Where's my hat?" "Raise money through limited partnerships." " Hi, Paul." " Hi, Pedro." "Good morning, Mr. Aragon." " So, what do you think, Pop?" " About what?" "Modernizing the operation, limited partnerships?" " A partner equals trouble." " You can always borrow from the bank." "Listen, just because you harvested a few grapes doesn't give you a say." "Stick to your candy and keep your nose out of our business." "Now, tell me what's going on here." "That you sleep one night on the floor, the next on the couch?" "You'll use any excuse to make him feel unwelcome, won't you?" "There's something wrong here." "This whole thing smells wrong." "A girl comes home with a husband nobody ever heard of with her suitcase as full as when she went away." "Like she has no place else to go." "Where's my hat?" "You don't want me here?" "I'll leave." " Is that what you want?" " I want the truth." " That's what I want." " No, you don't." "The truth you want is the truth according to you." "That's the only truth you accept." "Try me." "The truth is, she came home because she loves her family." "I told you, stay out of our business." "She is my business." "You were looking for this?" "Senora!" "Thank you, but I don't have time." " It smells!" " I have to leave." "I have business." "Don Pedro has finished your business, no?" "And besides, you must see it through." " See what through?" " Your fate." "What brought you here." "Nothing brought me here." "I brought me here." " What's wrong?" " Nothing." " Let me help you." " No, we had a plan." "You were to stay one night and go back to your wife." " Stick to the plan." " I can't leave you like this." "And tomorrow?" "Will you stay tomorrow too?" "And the day after that?" "Go home, Paul." "You still have a wife." " Here." "Leave it at the station." " Please." "You can't help me anymore!" "No one can help me." "It's not your problem." "It's not my problem." "I can't leave." "I can't." "Don't think just because you married her any of this is yours." "If you married her at all." " What do you mean?" " I wasn't there." "I didn't see a wedding, or even a wedding certificate." "And don't think that just because I speak with an accent I think with an accent." "For the four years that I've been at war I had to keep myself closed off." " What's your reason?" " What are you talking about?" " Reason for what?" " Shutting Victoria out of your heart." "Can't you see how amazing she is?" "How alive?" "I dream of getting the kind of love she tries to give you." "I would die for what you have." "Why can't you just love her?" "She's so easy to love." "You know nothing about my daughter!" "You hear me?" "Nothing!" "I know that she is good and strong and deserves all the love this world has to give." "Can't you see?" "How wonderful, how special she is?" "You see this?" "This land?" "This vineyard?" "This is 365 days a year." "Who do you think I do this for?" "For them." "All of them!" "I love my family!" "You should let them know." "Paul?" "Hey, Paul." "Brandy!" "The finest." "I made it myself 21 years ago." "The secret about brandy is age." "The secret of everything is age." "Hija, are you all right?" "He only went to work." "He will come back." "What the hell is that?" "My uniform." "Of course." "Newlyweds!" "What else do they do but make love and war?" " Did you talk to her?" " I tried." "Wouldn't make a difference." "Talking between men and women never solves anything." "Where we think they feel." "They are creatures of the heart." "Please, sit down." "No, no." "Please, come on." "Give me that." " I'll miss my bus again." " Make yourself comfortable." "Tomorrow we go to the festival for the wine blessing." "The bus will be there." "I have the perfect solution for you." "Thank you." "Isn't that the most romantic thing you ever heard?" " Maybe it loses a bit on translation." " No, no." "Now you sing." "It's all right." "You did wonderful." "Let's let the experts do it themselves." "You're a gringo." "Nice, but still a gringo." "The heart you are talking to is Mexican." "You speak to it in the language it understands." "You..." "You be strong." "You stand right here." "Right here." "No, no." "You've had enough." "All right." "You boys, wait for my signal." "Alberto..." "Listen." "You watch her window." "When the light comes on you are saved!" "Just watch the window." "He seems to love her." "Maybe I've been too tough on him." "What's the matter?" "Don't have too much fun." " Our bus leaves in 10 minutes." " Thanks." "The Aragons!" "The Aragons are coming!" "Hello, how are you?" " Marie Jose." " Padre." "I will now recite the Blessing of the Harvest." "We thank you, Lord, for bestowing on us the bounty of thy harvest." "We ask that each life here be blessed with the full measure of love health and happiness that those who acknowledge God justly deserve." "Amen." "Amen." "Excellent!" "Your serenade was very beautiful." "Will you toast with me?" "What do we toast to?" "To "what if."" "To "what if."" "Father Filipo may I introduce Paul Sutton, my new son-in-law." "As you can see, a bona fide war hero." " He helped bring in the harvest." " Papa." "What?" "I can't be proud?" " A blessed surprise." "Congratulations!" " Thank you, Father." "I gave her First Communion." " Thought I'd give her in marriage." " And you shall." "City hall is not a proper place to take your wedding vows." "Not for my only daughter." "Tonight..." "Listen to me!" "Tonight, I give my daughter's hand in marriage before the eyes of God." "And I will take it as a personal insult if you all do not show up." "You are all invited!" " Why are you doing this?" " A man can change his mind, can't he?" " We must tell them." " No." "I have to tell them." "I'm not scared now." "Here." "For the baby." "A little present." " What did you get it for?" " Courage under fire." "Paul Sutton you are the most honorable man I have ever known." " Where to, soldier?" " San Francisco." "I can get you as far as San Rafael." "Climb in." "Thanks." " What you doing around here?" " Walking." "Walking?" "In the clouds." "Welcome back to earth." " Who's there?" " It's me." " You read them." " Yes, Paul..." "Betty?" "Listen, it wasn't gonna work, for either of us." "Had I read the letters sooner..." "We hardly knew each other." "We want different things." "Who is it, Betty?" "I don't even like dogs!" "It's not what it appears to be." " Armisted?" " Paul, listen to me." "It would have never worked for me." " I'd be miserable!" " I came back..." " You have a gun?" " I was ready." " Don't do anything crazy." " I'll leave." "Don't hit me!" "I'm not gonna hit you." "Betty..." "We could still be friends." "Friends?" "I thought an annulment would be easiest." "You just have to sign it." "I'm sorry, Paul." "Paul, are you all right?" "Yeah." "I'm fine!" "Mr. Aragon?" "Mr. Aragon." "I owe you an apology, sir." " What I did was wrong." " Get off my land!" "My intentions were to protect her." " Stay away from her." " I can't." "She's like the air to me." "I'm asking you for her hand in marriage." "You are already married, you son of a bitch!" " My gun!" " Don Alberto?" "My gun!" "Now!" "My marriage wasn't meant to be." "It was a mistake." "But it's over." " Annulled." " You deceived me!" "In my own house!" "In my own bed!" "Stay away from her!" "I want to be with her forever and take care of her." " Jose, my gun!" " Victoria!" "Paul?" "You made me a fool to everyone." " It's not your child she carries!" " It will be if she'll have me." "I'll see you dead first!" "Paul!" "Stop!" "I love him!" "I love him!" "My God!" "Papa!" "What have I done?" "Drunk!" "Please!" "Let me go!" "Get away!" "Lie down, Pedro!" "Don't run!" "Lie down!" "I'm all right!" "Papa?" "I was afraid." "I was afraid of losing you." "All of you." "I didn't know any other way to love." "Can you teach me?" "Please, can you teach me?" "The fire burned through everything." "There's no root stock left to replant." "Las Nubes is finished." "Has it reached the inside?" "It's alive." "It's alive." "Las Nubes lives!" "We can plant!" "This is the root of your life." "The root of your family." "You are bound to this land and to this family by commitment by honor and by love." "Plant it." "It will grow." "I don't know how." "Victoria help your husband." "It's beautiful!"

"Who is it?" "It's the police." "Please, open the door..." "Good morning." "Good morning..." "Is Mrs. Olga at home?" "Olga..." "What is it?" "The people from the police need you." "What's happened?" "Sorry to bother you, but the lady here has reported you have kidnapped her baby." "Kidnapped her baby..." "Me...?" "How could I..." "in the wheelchair..." "I'll kill you if something happens to him!" "Jesus Christ, is she drugged?" "Hold her!" "" "So, madam, you claim that you have never seen this boy..." "He's beautiful child, but I've never seen him." "Stop it!" "Please... tell me where were you around ten o'clock this morning?" "Where could I be?" "Home." "Can I come in?" "Sure, enter." "You stay here." "Quiet!" "This is my son." "He was ill." "He died recently." "My condolences." "This is his room." "He left it like that." "The boys will take statements." "We need to check everything..." "Sorry to have bothered you..." "If I were you, I'd check her first..." "Why's that?" "No reason, just a manner of speech..." "FINE DEAD GIRLS" "OK... yes, who told you that?" "OK... good, I'll speak to you later..." "The neighbours say that Mrs. Olga has not left her apartment in three years because of her illness... and some of the tenants suspect you..." "What?" "Me?" "Yes, they think you've killed your baby and now blame Mrs. Olga..." "Is that what you think?" "Maybe they helped her kidnap him..." "Who?" "The tenants." "Why would they do it?" "Because they are crazy." "When I met them, I thought they were ordinary people, but then I realized they just pretend to be normal..." "The worst was her Daniel." "The one who died?" "What did she tell you about him?" "That he was ill and then died..." "She lied." "So, he didn't die?" "He did." "But not the way she told you..." "I don't know..." "probably nothing would have happened if..." "What?" "What happened before..." "Before?" "Here, girls, you have everything here..." "The phone... the heating." "It's warm enough..." "There's the tub, the oven..." "Everything you need..." "That's the ex-owner of the apartment, the late Ms. Lazarin... poor woman, she fell under the train." "It's not worth the price we agreed." "Three hundred, advance payment." "This is my wife Olga." "So girls, have you made up your mind?" "OK..." "Don't get offended, but the earnest money should be given immediately!" "Thank you... excuse me but do you work or..." "How are you going to pay, will it be on time?" "Well, Iva is a medical student..." "Wow!" "Really?" "Isn't that nice?" "We'll have a doctor in the building." "I'm on the third year." "...and I earn." "How?" "I teach." "What do you teach?" "Nanbudo." "Like our president..." "In the apartment above you is doctor Peric, gynecologist." "He used to work in the hospital, but now he has a private practice in his flat..." "Come on, leave the girls alone." "Go to the shop and do something, help Daniel." "Go!" "Kitty-katty, come on..." "This is Me." "Rukavina's cat, he lives upstairs." "Girls, do not bring the boys here, you know, ...we have some children in the building, and the people want to have their peace." "Come on, kitty, come on... good girl." "Here, girls, here is your key, you can make a copy yourselves." "We don't lock the entrance doors, this is a quiet neighbourhood, nothing ever happened." "The candles are in the drawer, here..." "Our neighbor, Mr. Lasic, was in the war and can't sleep at night, so sometimes he plays marching songs." "...not often, two or three times a week, and then my Blaz goes downstairs and turns off the electricity in the whole building." "So, girls, that's it." "Bye bye!" "Thank you, goodbye." "What a den, ha?" "It's gonna be great." "Come on, pickup the broad..." "Hey, girls, need some help?" "No, thank you." "I'm Daniel, I work here, so if you need anything, just drop by." "See you..." "Good morning." "Good morning, madam." "Did you call?" "No, not me." "It wasn't you?" "No." "And that thing, under your eye..." "I fell... in the bathroom..." "I slipped..." "So, it wasn't our husband who did it to you?" "My boy, where were you when we needed you to fight the Chetniks?" "I'm not talking to you." "Why did you call us?" "It wasn't me." "Our girls wanted to call the ambulance, but dialed wrong number..." "Everything is possible!" "There is a man outside." "He is staring at us." "Why are you afraid?" "There's nobody out there." "Go and see what the two of them upstairs are doing." "They are moving in, what else?" "And if they destroy the floor?" "Let them destroy it." "You know how I feel about that flat." "As if I didn't know how late Ms. Lazarin signed her will, and how you got the flat..." "As if I had killed her!" "And Daniel, you don't think of him!" "have to rent flat, like others." "Ms. Lazarin has a son, too, and he had to rent on apartment." "Miss." "Lidija lives on the ground floor." "I am looking for Mr. Maric, Mr. Nikola Maric..." "Nobody by that name lives here." "Then I'm in the wrong building." "Wow, look at that car." "Please, enter, Lidija." "What is it, bitch?" "Fuck off, you motherfucker!" "You whore!" "I'm finished for tonight." "What, you need it badly, ha?" "Let's make a deal." "Sado-maso is out of question, doesn't matter that you have given a thousand kuna." "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about." "You know, you hit me, I hit you..." "But, I have a friend, if you are interested..." "I'm not that kid of man..." "OK I'm telling you now, so later you cannot say you didn't know..." "Where are you going?" "Put on your clothes." "What the fuck?" "Please, don't use bad language in my company." "Have you dressed?" "Yes you can come in." "I just want to talk to you." "Why, is your wife deaf-mute?" "Why do you think so?" "Men usually ask from me what they cannot get at home..." "It is very important, please sit down." "Do you believe in God?" "That's what I thought." "You're a priest." "No, I'm not." "But I believe in His word and it is crucial that you believe too in order to comprehend the meaning ...of what I am about to tell you..." "It is about the two girls who moved in this building this morning." "Are you enjoying?" "Yes, I am." "Did you enjoy with Dado, too?" "With Dalibor?" "With Dalibor..." "I cannot understand how you can fall for somebody whose name is Dalibor!" "How come you remember him?" "He is a real asshole!" "I had a great time with Dado!" "I don't want to know." "Really, I could call him, ha?" "Wouldn't that be nice?" "You know what, you've been bit too loose in the last weeks..." "You smile at everyone..." "I don't know is it because something's funny or because you're happy..." "Imagine we are at the seaside lying on the beach alone, there's nobody near..." "Rambo is relaxing!" "You motherfucking Chetniks!" "Good morning, how are you?" "Give me some wine... some red wine." "Oh, we have an elegant customer, don't we?" "Mind your own business!" "Watch your language!" "Oh, you are a tough guy..." "Watch your language, will you!" "I could tell my old lady, and she'll send you flying from your hole ...with all your dolls and stuff." "Go fuck yourself!" "What deal?" "Fuck off, will you, I just woke up haven't had breakfast yet." "Besides, we made a deal, once a month, and it hasn't been a month since the last time." "What if I want it right now?" "Now?" "Yes, now..." "Come." "You mean here?" "Yes, here." "Let me lock first..." "Are you afraid that your mummy will come?" "Who's afraid of mummy, you filthy whore, come here, come!" "Hi!" "He!" "What kind of wine have you got?" "Only this." "No white wine?" "OK..." "You'll pay other time, I don't have the money now, I mean, I don't have the change..." "OK." "Thanks." "You're welcome." "Please, neighbour, my husband had spent all the pension money on drink again, I'll give it back to you..." "I always wait for you, you already owe me two thousand..." "Believe me, I'll give it back, I have to feed my girls." "Don't mention the kids!" "You should be happy you get the money with no interest rate!" "Oh, here comes our beauty." "How are you?" "Fine, thank you." "That's right, sweetie." "See how beautiful she is... we took some really nice girls." "Yes, really nice." "She's bit skinny but I think she's great for my Daniel..." "I want to see the money by Friday, understood!" "Sorry to bother your, but I always get lost in this city." "All the buildings are the same." "I'm looking for Dr. Peric." "Who?" "Dr. Peric..." "I'm coming." "Here I am..." "Oh, lady Bara, you again?" "I'm embarrassed, doctor, but the kids have played in the hay again." "They played mummy and daddy, ha?" "Oh my, don't hit the child..." "Sweet baby, don't be afraid, it won't hurt." "You go upstairs, go on, Bara, take the children up." "I apologize, but, you know I'm out of cotton wool, and I thought I might borrow some from you I mean, two girls, you probably have some..." "Yes, come in." "What's the matter Ivica?" "What do you want?" "You want me to do to you the same things I do to Daniel?" "I told you already that your father would be mad if we did it." "Hi!" "Go now, Lidija is busy now, go and buy yourself an ice cream." "Hi bb!" "How's work?" "Oh Mr. Neighbour, how is your wife, has happened to her?" "Why are you asking?" "Your cat is constantly with us, the mailman has told me he hasn't seen her in a while and you always sign the pension receipts." "It would be a pity if something happened to her, after all, a German pension is a German pension..." "Leave us alone!" "Say hello to our wife!" "Hi, I'm Lidija." "I live here, so I dropped by to say hello." "Here, this is for you." "Jesus, you did a great job whit this flat." "Man, you can't imagine how morbid was when Ms. Lazarin lived here." "Now, it's totally cool!" "I painted mine in purple, it's much better like that..." "And your bed, it's great..." "I got myself a white one." "This is cool, but you have to come and see my apartment." "What are you doing?" "I'm studying." "Cool!" "I used to study, but then said to myself, my dear, there's no money in that." "Tell me something about yourself." "They say I'm great listener." "I'll open a private practice..." "I forgot to mention that, I'll be a shrink." "Why don't you... make some coffee?" "It's great coffee." "May I smoke, I mean, I have to smoke." "I'll get you an ashtray." "Bloody hell... it's my favourite dress..." "and now it's destroyed." "What are you looking at, my tits?" "Be!" "If it wasn't for that sportswoman, everything would be fine." "What do you think, does she like you?" "I don't know." "I noticed she was looking at my tits." "Fuck, with a man it's easy, you grab him by the cock and he's finished..." "Please, don't talk like that." "All tight, I just wanted to say that I've never seduced a woman before." "You won't regret it if you succeed." "This time, young lady, you are not only in my service!" "Whose then?" "God's, God's service, young lady." "We are helping a sinner find the right path again." "Good bye." ""In Jagiceva street there was a cruel attack on gipsy male who was found by two workers... of Croatian railroads..." "They rescued gipsy on time..."" "And we did our maximum in the right moment for our community, didn't we?" "There, they take no care at all." "Every now and then somebody ends fucked up." ""Muhamed is in shock..."" "I don't know what's going on in this world, we were doing our job and they attacked us like wild animals." "...as if we were garbage." "I am a Croat, too." "The hell you are." "Here, I can show you." "This is my certificate." "Croatia is my homeland, too." "Where are you going?" "It's Sunday." "I can go out if I want." ""Zagreb is becoming an unsecure place for living..."" "Hey..." "Easy, I won't hurt you." "Hanging out the clothes, ha?" "You know what happened to me yesterday in store?" "There came an old woman and wanted some milk, and I gave her a package which was leaking, put it on the counter and she said:" "Sorry, the milk is leaking... and I said:" "It's not leaking to me, it's leaking to you and charged her for it." "She went completely nuts..." "Today I'm not working and if you want we could go out, I mean... for a drink." "How about that?" "Thank you, but I have an exam." "I have to study." "I mean, you can invite your friend and I will invite mine." "We can go out together, ha?" "Or, if you want, we can go out alone." "Mr. Rukavina, everybody's complaining of a horrible stench coming from your apartment." "Leave us alone, please, my wife needs peace." "I'll call the police!" "Where's the family going?" "To the church, not like this communist here." "Well said, we won't put up with your stench!" "Hi beautiful." "Good afternoon." "What happened?" "Nothing." "What do you mean, nothing?" "I wanted to ask her out, but she ran away." "Who does she think she is?" "What does that creep think he is?" "He thinks he can grope every broad he sees?" "Leave it, everything is fie." "you talk to him!" "Why didn't you tell him to go to hell?" "Hi!" "My little neighbor..." "I knew you would come to me sooner or later." "What's the problem, sweetie, you got knocked up?" "Oh, if I see him, I'll twist his balls." "Doctor..." "Yes?" "I need some alcohol and bandages, if you have..." "Oh that." "You know, today I cannot concentrate properly." "Our subtenant is pregnant, I saw her entering the doctor's apartment." "You see, she fucks around and with me she plays innocent." "Here, I've found it." "Oh reverend sisters, it's you again." "I hope it will be enough." "Come in, don't be afraid..." "come, come..." "Thank you." "Whenever you need something, just ask." "After all, we are neighbours..." "Everything at half price." "Something really stinks here, like on post mortem..." "They all want to separate us, I know it." "But see what I have for you, my rose..." "I'll perfume you and nobody will say that you stink, my love..." "I'm sorry." "Do you want me to take a photo of you?" "I don't like it..." "Shut up..." "Come on..." "I always look terrible on photographs." "Come on..." "look at me!" "Halo... it's me... yes." "Why don't you call Dr. Peric?" "Who's calling?" "Yes, but I... all right... yes." "OK..." "Who was it?" "Lidija." "What did she want?" "She says she has a terrible stomachache ...and she wants me to examine her." "She has a stomachache... and wants you to examine her..." "maybe she wants you to cure her syphilis..." "Are you jealous?" "Who should I be jealous of, Lidija maybe?" "I've never been jealous." "Never?" "Now we'll take a photo of the jealous Mare." "Should I be jealous?" "Come here..." "I asked you something...don't..." "I'm in a hurry." "Come in..." "Sorry to bother you Iva but I'm in a real pain and need you to examine me..." "Where do you feel pain?" "Down here.. put your hand, you'll feel something vibrating..." "I cannot move all morning..." "Fuck, I have thousands things to do, haven't done anything yet..." "Why are you doing that?" "What?" "I know you are pretending and you are lousy at it, but I don't understand why..." "Will you tell me?" "Don't do it again, OK?" "This is ours." "Keep it." "At least you tried to seduce her." "No, I earn my money honestly." "I haven't done the job, I'm giving back the money." "I need the money but business is business..." "Unless you want some other service for this amount you can stay all night..." "No, thank you." "Somebody attacked our neighbour Lidija..." "Open the door!" "Turn on the light!" "Neighbour, are you OK?" "I bet somebody paid her to scream ." "I didn't do anything to him." "He just stopped moving." "Shame on you." "This is the second on this year!" "Should I ask every customer to show me a certificate that he doesn't suffer form a coronary disease?" "So buddy, they fucked us properly, ha?" "Bloody motherfuckers!" "Hi, Ivica!" "Is your Dad at home?" "What's the matter with you?" "How many time have I told you not to barge in when I'm working?" "Who gave you that bottle?" "When..." "What funeral?" "Mum," "Mum, you're lying." "I don't have to come to the funeral..." "Mum it's not true, it's not..." "What happened?" "Mare?" "My mother tortured him all his life..." "like everybody else around..." "He seemed to have grown numb..." "As if he ever thought about anything..." "He was so...normal... such an ordinary man..." "I don't know..." "I mean, that they hired a hooker to separate us... it is the most pathetic story I have ever heard it's so..." "There's Dalibor ." "Shall we leave?" "It's not necessary, he's seen me." "Hi Iva, how are you?" "Well... this is Marija, my roommate." "Nice to meet you." "Marija." "Hi!" "And?" "How about you?" "Well, business as usual, you know." "I just have some partners from Kenia, you know how it goes." "You?" "Nothing, university, this and that..." "Everything cool, ha?" "Great!" "That's nice." "I'm glad for you." "Would you and your friend move to our table?" "No we were just leaving." "OK, I'm just asking..." "If you need something, give me a call." "Bye." "Bye." "See, the little whore is telling the truth." "All names are here all the grieved family, everybody but her." "Here is the wife, brothers, but no daughter." "Will you stop?" "You stare at the bloody papers all day." "It's not our business." "They are our subtenants, her father died in our building and you say it's not our business." "So, for you it's normal that you die and Daniel doesn't go to your funeral." "I don't care." "As far as I'm concerned, nobody has to come..." "Here the are." "Look!" "And you call it normal?" "What?" "She's not in black." "Her father died and she in jogging suit." "I'm telling you that something's wrong in that family!" "Leave the girls aloe!" "You didn't take our exam because of me..." "Doesn't matter, I wasn't really ready." "Good afternoon, may I come in?" "What do you want?" "I know this is not right moment, but my husband is at the doctors' so I took the opportunity..." "I wanted to thank you for not telling anyone..." "What about?" "About what happened to Dr. Peric." "I love children dearly, I would have never done it, if my husband hadn't fallen ill." "And I'm afraid for Dr Peric..." "My husband might hurt him..." "And he's so stubborn, he wants a son, not a daughter... and his pals in the bar tease him that he cannot have so..." "And we had such a wonderful life before war..." "Thank you for not telling him." "You're welcome." "Where are you going?" "To see our subtenants." "Why?" "To express my condolences." "I know what's proper!" "Something must have happened!" "I knocked for five minutes, but they didn't open." "Maybe they want to be alone." "And if they killed themselves?" "I'm telling you something's very wrong in that family." "It's wrong in your head..." "Quickly, give me some sugar and water!" "What happened?" "They are licking each other!" "Who?" "Our subtenants." "What are they licking?" "One another all over the body!" "Now I see why their families abandoned them." "Lesbians, I saw them fuck!" "I know man girls who do that." "So young and ignoring dicks already!" "And we're surprised that there are not enough of us Croatians." "I have to tell my wife, she's waiting for me!" "That's why the little whore rejected my Daniel!" "Let the girls live their lives." "Whores!" "They should be taught a lesson!" "What is it, a queue?" "Fuck off..." "What are you looking at?" "It I as a woman, stood no chance, you shouldn't even try..." "Wanna bet?" "In what?" "You know well in what, once a week!" "Deal, but if I win, I get to shop here the whole month for free..." "Two weeks." "A month." "OK..." "Wait, let's talk." "I'm in a hurry." "So what?" "Your friend will wait..." "So, what did we say, when are we going out?" "I have to study." "Wait a second!" "Why do you always bullshit me about having to study?" "Why don't you just tell me that your whore won't let you go out?" "You don't like me, is that it?" "What's wrong with me?" "Let go of me!" "What should I let go?" "Who's holding you?" "Suck my dick..." "How many have you smoked today?" "We have to leave the apartment." "Really?" "Why, we haven't done anything!" "What do you think why?" "When are we moving out?" "She'd like to kick us out immediately, but has a good heart, so we have a fifteen days notice." "And we have to separate beds when we move out." "What?" "If you were a real man, you'd tell them to leave, not I!" "They don't disturb me." "What about AIDS?" "What has it to do with AIDS?" "It's all the same, faggots and lesbians." "I wonder if you would be thinking the same if you caught it!" "Enough with your bullshit, you motherfucking whores!" "Hear that?" "It's crazy Lasic again." "Maybe he killed his wife..." "Better for her then to support him all her life." "Marija..." "Marija!" "Yes?" "IT'S MUCH SWEETER WITH THIS!" "I'm scared shitless!" "Daniel..." "Oh my, I'd like to get out of here!" "What are you doing?" "Jura, look, a dick has fallen from the sky!" "IMPOTENT, PUT IT IN YOUR ASS!" "What are you doing?" "Who let you do it?" "I called him." "Your son has no right to enter our apartment at night." "The little time we are here, I want us to be at peace." "In his own apartment he can do what he wants!" "Put the old lock back!" "You just do your job." "I will take no orders from an ordinary lesbian!" "And you, stop working or I'll call the police!" "Decide what you want me to do people..." "You're gonna change my locks, ha?" "What is it?" "What the fuck are you staring at?" "What's the problem with you?" "Hear that?" "Hear what she's saying?" "And I wonder why the kid doesn't want my Daniel." "Of course she doesn't, when she licks her roommate's cunt!" "You know what, no normal woman would ever touch your Daniel!" "You, whore, you won't talk like that about my son!" "Yes I will, about our impotent moronic so." "I'll take your eyes out, you whore, get out of here!" "You won't insult my Daniel..." "Oh, yes, I will insult your impotent idiot, yes I will!" "Get out!" "You get out!" "Go fuck yourselves, you whores!" "You, put the old lock back!" "And you, how can you let them insult me like that?" "Who's insulting you?" "The lesbians." "Shame on you, girls..." "my wife comes from a good house." "Girls... here is the dress of a friend who rents a similar apartment..." "Just tell him that Blaz sends you and there'll be no problems..." "Thanks landlord..." "What kid of landlord am I?" "You have to leave apartment by tomorrow morning!" "Bye girls..." "Everything is OK now..." "I can't believe..." "That's me..." "I suffer until I explode..." "Do you know that the little whore was telling around that you are an impotent moron?" "What?" "The whole building heard her..." "I can't believe..." "I have no idea what's going on..." "Why didn't you call me?" "Dad was great." "He told them to leave immediately." "Why the fuck do you always have to interfere?" "Why can't you leave me alone?" "Where are you going now?" "I'm going to hell..." "Why do you have to control me..." "Boys, I'm really sorry but the girls have played with the phone again..." "The girls did that too...?" "No, I did it myself..." "I hit myself against the vacuum cleaner..." "Vacuum cleaner?" "We really let everyone pull our noses..." "Probably the switch jumped out..." "Where are you going?" "Let it stay here tonight." "I can't believe..." "What is it commies?" "I showed you, ha?" "Communist motherfuckers..." "My angles..." "Daddy has bought batteries!" "Let them hear..." "You failed, ha?" "We'll see about that." "Why are you laughing?" "Mom's impotent moron..." "How about a beer, chief?" "We're closed." "Closed?" "Is it night already?" "I have my period." "I'm not working." "What the fuck is it now?" "Give me a knife." "What knife?" "Give me a knife, do you hear?" "!" "What do you need a knife for?" "You're out of your mind!" "Sorry to bother you but I cut myself and I thought you might take a look..." "I went to Dr. Peric but he has a patient." "I dropped a crate and cut myself on a bottle!" "And I wanted to apologize for what I've done..." "I mean, I acted like an idiot..." "How could I know that you don't like men?" "All right... if you don't want..." "OK..." "Wait." "Show me our hand." "If you want..." "I could talk to my mother to let you stay." "It's not necessary." "You're still mad at me, aren't you." "Why can't we go out?" "I mean... we'll have a drink or two, as friends..." "What do you think?" "You are nuisance." "Fuck it, why are you like this?" "I'm not gonna bite your hand off, I just invited you for a drink..." "I mean, I hate faggots, I really detest them, but I'm totally OK with lesbians..." "I think you're cool..." "I mean, I really like you..." "What do you say?" "Will we go out for a drink?" "No." "Now you are mocking me?" "What was it... mummy's impotent moron..." "Is that what you called me... ha?" "What is it?" "What?" "Have you seen Daniel?" "People are waiting for him in shop..." "He went to pee..." "You go and serve them..." "What are you waiting for?" "Are you all right?" "Sorry, fuck it... it's not my fault..." "You shouldn't have teased me..." "As if I were to blame..." "What is it?" "What do you want now?" "What more do you want?" "Here, I'm sorry." "Fuck it, I'm sorry..." "You're not going to report me, are you?" "Please don't..." "Say something at least look at me!" "Fuck you, see what I've done?" "See what happens when you fuck with me!" "It's not my fault..." "Not mine!" "Fuck you lesbian whore!" "You are all the same, you just make trouble!" "Just say a word about this, I'll kill you!" "Where have you been?" "People are coming and I don't know prices!" "Mum asked for me, didn't she?" "Mum?" "Didn't you go to the toilette?" "Listen, if you care for me, you'll say I was here all the time..." "What have you done?" "Nothing!" "Just say I was here..." "My son, you are such an idiot..." "Where are you going?" "Come immediately!" "Yes!" "You shouldn't tell anyone about this..." "least of all Marija she would get terribly mad." "Promise?" "You should see the apartment..." "looking at the woods, no noise..." "Iv..." "Jesus, who did this to you?" "Do you hear me?" "Where is your son?" "Fuck you!" "Get out whore!" "Get out now!" "Your friend finally enjoyed as a real woman!" "He's gone towards wagons..." "You jerk!" "Fuck you!" "Come quickly, that whore is chasing our son!" "Quick!" "I will fuck you too..." "Iv..." "Let's get out of here..." "We have to run!" "My only love..." "What has that whore done to you!" "I'll kill her..." "I'll kill her!" "Quiet, people... you'll wake up my wife!" "What happened?" "People, help me!" "Bloody whore has killed my son..." "Dam whore!" "They are going to kill us." "Quiet!" "Now our boyfriend's gonna get it, you'll see..." "Whore!" "I'll kill you!" "Calm down..." "Peace!" "I'll call the police!" "I don't need police..." "I'll kill her myself!" "He raped her!" "You're lying!" "She invited him to your flat!" "You killed him because you were jealous!" "Whore!" "Where do you think you're going?" "!" "Leave her!" "Fuck off!" "Everybody knows your wife had an abortion, you jerk!" "What?" "!" "Speak!" "Speak!" "Tell me!" "She's lying...ask doctor..." "Doctor...is it true you motherfucker?" "!" "What abortion?" "I'm catholic, just like you!" "Fuck off, you phonies!" "Mrs. Rukavina?" "Shoot the whore!" "Shut up!" "I'm thinking!" "The guy is beating his wife again..." "Let's go..." "Where?" "Somewhere, anywhere..." "Have you thought of something, you idiot..." "The whore has killed my son!" "Shut up!" "Marika!" "You killed my Marika!" "What will my wife say?" "The whore killed her!" "Grab the whore!" "She'll escape!" "Mare..." "Come..." "Ivica is charged with Marija's murder." "Doctor's kid?" "All the tenants testified he was the one who pushed her down the stairs, in self defense." "I could not testify because I haven't seen anything..." "I'm sure somebody pushed her..." "She didn't simply fall, that much I know." "Since Ivica is ill, he was quickly released..." "Everything was fie until my Toma was born..." "Then she started to come and watch him play in the garden for hours and hours..." "Mrs. Olga?" "She thinks my Toma is Daniel's son and she is his grandmother." "She used to buy him clothes, candies, toys, stupid things..." "Once she called me and told me she would like I name the kid Daniel..." "But in fact..." "I live in constant fear that my husband will find out..." "Your husband?" "I apologize, but after everything you've told me, I didn't expect you have a husband." "I married my ex boyfriend." "Dalibor?" "Yes." "And Dalibor doesn't know?" "No..." "Do you think you know everything about our wife?" "You know more about other people then about our own family..." "Where is he now?" "On a business trip." "He's coming back tomorrow." "You'll have to tell him something..." "I know." "I'll let you know as soon as I have some information..." "Goodbye." "Goodbye..." "What are you doing?" "I'm bus..." "Baric, listen nothing...big kiss!" "Ivica, go home!" "It's good, good food..." "Let's have a bite..." "Come on, granny's treasure..." "let's eat..." "Olga..." "This is not our grandson, Olga..." "I told you, I don't want to talk about it any more..." "You killed my son, you will not have my grandson..." "See how little Daniel has finally come to his daddy's apartment..." "Bring me some gauze to wipe his face..." "Do you want your granny to fix this dredger?" "Give it to me?" "You don't want it?" "There's no gauze here..." "Get lost!" "You're good for nothing!" "I have to do everything myself!" "Are you blind?" "Here's the gauze!"

"Thank you." "Hey, has she been out yet?" "No, not yet." "Can you cover for me?" "Really need a coke and a piss." "Get me one." "Er, where's, er, what's-her-face?" "Erm, Jane's just gone to the loo." "The boardroom needs setting up for a meeting this afternoon." "Of course." "No problem." "Er, Victoria?" "Yes." "Could I have a word, please?" "Sure." "I want you to have a look at the Asian strategy." "Sure, no problem." "I would!" "Good morning - Hewitt Maurice Asset Management..." "Erm, sorry, I thought the..." "the meeting was..." "I'll just put these here." "Calm down." "Can I get you anything?" "Emmy, is it?" " Effy." " Effy." "I'm fine, thanks." "Idiot." "Touching him where exactly?" "Arse?" "Dick?" "Come on, I need specifics." "Ew!" "Do you think he only goes for senior analysts or the slammin' boobs count?" "Come on!" "Shut up!" "Oh, looks like Dominic's just picked up an extra sandwich... as he was just passing... again." "I picked up another sandwich, just in case." "You were just passing, right?" "Thanks, Dom." "So you, er, you got any, you know, plans after work?" "I'm just going to go home and do some work there." "Right, yeah, course." "Anything I can help with?" "That's really sweet." "I'm fine." "Well, I'm around, you know." "Just in case you fancy a quick one..." "Quick once..." "Er..." "I..." "Once around the finance world a la Dominic!" "Thank you, Dom." "Watch it, mate!" "Oh, my God." "He is so tragic!" "You look like a horse when you laugh down your nose like that." "Leave it with me." "Effy" " I know this is really shitty but I really need the monthly report documented by tonight." "Any chance you could just knock it out now?" "Sure." "I'll just, erm, e-mail it." "We'll be at the drinks thing so maybe you can just pop it down." "Is that OK?" "Fine." "You're amazing." "Thank you so much." "Perfect." "Did you want to come in for a drink?" "No, I'm fine." "See you tomorrow." "All right, Effy?" "Hey, where have you been?" "!" "Working." "Effy!" "Are you joining us on the juice?" "You seem to be doing all right without me." "Oh, we started at two." "I am gone, mate, I'm fuckin' gone." "Congratulations." "You all right?" "How was work?" "Fine." "Pub's too expensive so we came back here." "Save enough money to pay the rent?" "Potentially." "Sit down, have a beer." "Want one?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "Look, have this." "Naomi, you got any food?" "Naomi, you got any food?" "Yes, plenty." "What do you fancy?" "We got, er... steak." "Where the fuck did that come from?" "Where the fuck have you been?" "Sorry." "I've had people round." "Couldn't hear my laptop." "Is this you trying to prove a point?" "It's fucking hard here." "Sorry!" "I just want to speak to my girlfriend!" "I'm speaking to you now." "I'm just tired!" "You're not tired, you're stoned." "Again!" "Call me when you can be bothered." "Ems?" "Ems?" "Fuck's sake!" "Don't you dare." "Eff?" "I'm asleep." "Oh, fine - fuck you, then." "She's going to dump me." "No, she's not." "New York's full of hot dykes." "Emily doesn't like hot dykes." "She likes useless stoners like you." "Mmm, yeah." "Yeah." "She loves me." "Weirdly, yes." "I'm going to go see her." "I need some fanny time soon or I'm going to burst into flames." "Romantic." "You might need to get a job first." "I think I'm going to be a stand-up comedian." "Brilliant." "Go to sleep now." "Jane, Jane..." "Jane, Jane, Jane!" "Jane, the idea is that you're conscious enough to answer the phone, remember?" "I'm sorry, I had a..." "Associates' meeting in five." "You ready?" "Victoria?" "Victoria?" "I've been looking through the monthly reports and the one from last night..." "Why?" "I just have." "But, look, look - there's been a mistake." "The monthly figures in the emerging sectors haven't been updated." "See there?" "Couldn't some of the investors think we're trying to hide something?" "I'm sure it's fine." "But thank you, you know, for trying." "Mark?" "Yo." "Boys..." "Er, yeah, so the figures that have come down from upstairs are, erm..." "Hang on a second." "Let me find them." "Yeah, Appendix 16." "Er... as you can see, the growth is negative, which we like, and we're in a position to short it, so..." "Yeah, it's good." "Mark, what the fuck is up with you?" "Er..." "John McAndrew came in from Miami last night." "He's such a dick." "Well, I ended up out with him, and stayed out with him and, er..." "Save it for your wife." "Come on, what have you got?" "Yeah." "Er... basically, we should do it." "Great." "Any problems in legal?" "No." "No problem." "We're compliant." "Great." "I think that's it." "Thanks, Mark." "That was shit." " But accurate." " Congratulations." "Have a cookie." "OK, that's everything." "Let's keep the energy up, guys." "End of quarter is fast approaching." "Sorry, Jake, just one thing..." "What is it?" "There's been a fuck-up with the emerging market numbers." "How do you mean?" "They haven't been updated." "They don't reflect the returns at all." "Has this gone out yet?" "No." "Fine." "Mark?" "Send that back upstairs, find the fucking author of it, and fire them." "Then you get it amended." "We're not running a pissing Ponzi here." "Yeah, got it." "Good." "Thank you." "Get me Chris on the phone, tell him..." "What would I do without you?" "Well done." "Can we have coffees in Jake's office, please?" "Decaf for me." "They want coffee." "Who does?" "Hi." "Effy!" "Oh!" "Oh, no." "It's OK." "You... you're not supposed to be in here." "I know, but you said you were around, and I need a drink right now." "Right." "Right, yeah, of course." "But... hedge funders are not allowed in here." "She works in a hedge fund?" "Bloody fuck, Dom!" "She's looking, she's..." "She's not looking!" "She's not looking." "Are you?" "Listen..." "Do you want to go for a drink or not?" "I need your help." "You didn't see her." "All right, Kevin?" "I quite clearly saw her." "And I saw what you did on the sims last week... with the thing." "Yeah - keep your mouth shut." "Let's go." "Where are we going?" "This is a really nice place." "Very... warm." "It's very expensive." "All right?" "Naomi, this is Dominic." "Dominic!" "Dominic..." "Who the fuck are you, Dominic?" "I'm a research strategist." "Well, fuck me." "What is that?" "I, er... research stuff... er... strategically." "I thought you said they were all dicks." "No, I work in a completely different building, so..." "Ugh..." "Are you all right?" "Yeah, just a, erm, hysterical dyke, apparently." "Is that a thing?" "I'm a hormone hypochondriac, doctor said." "Attention seeker." "That's right." "Takes creative vision." "Spliff?" "No." "We've got stuff to do." "What, right now?" "Yep." "Come on, Dom." "I've been on my own all day!" "What are we doing?" "I want to know." "Know what?" "Everything." "Everything that you know." "Right." "That's a lot." "It's fine." "Start from the beginning." "Money." "Show me." "OK." "Yeah." "We could..." "OK, let's see." "We could start with the beginning." "Neolithic barter systems." "No." "No, no, no, that's too far back." "OK, 18th-century mutual funds and their bastard children." "Derivatives and futures..." "OK." "Check out the following algorithm..." "Hang on, slow down." " ..if you know how to short-sell..." " Yeah, so that means..." "Say it again...?" "Do you get it now?" "Thank you, Dom." "Seriously." "Thank you so much." "Dom?" "Oh." "I..." "I'm sorry." "Oops." "I'm not..." "I'm not sorry." "I'm not sorry." "I just, erm..." "Dominic." "No, no, no need to worry." "I just..." "I'm confused, obviously." "I..." "I just..." "Shout if you're naked!" "Shout if you're naked!" "Shout if you're naked!" "Hm, disappointing." "We're finished." "Ooh." "Amazing." "Because, erm..." "I was actually hoping you might listen to some of my material." "Please, please, please?" "Naomi wants to be a stand-up comedian." "Really?" "Wow, that's cool." "That's really cool." "Well, thank you!" "We like him." "I was thinking about moving to London." "What?" "No, I've..." "I've started." "This is..." "Sorry." "Anyway, so, London." "Supposed to be the city of opportunity, right?" "But, actually, only gets you the opportunity to get fucked in the arse." "Oh, my God." "I mean, Boris bikes?" "They're lovely, aren't they?" "Thank you, Mr Boris." "Thank you, Barclays Bank." "But, those saddles, they're not really for girls, are they?" "I mean, I think, every time you sit in one of those saddles, it's basically like letting Boris finger you." "That's funny." "Really?" "Yeah." "You're really good." "It's good." "Mm, fan-dabi-dozi!" "Effy!" "Effy!" "Effy!" "Yes, Jane, that's my name." "I forgot to cancel Victoria's meeting with the fund of fund guys, and it starts in five minutes." "And you stopped to tell me this why?" "Oh, fuck." "Yeah, you're right!" "Run, Jane, run." "Good morning, Hewitt Maurice Asset Management..." "Yep." "Yep, I'll be right down." "She's going to fire me, isn't she?" "Probably." "I'll do it." "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Good morning, Hewitt Maurice Asset Management..." "Mr Stibbard?" "Effy Stonem." "Pleased to meet you." "I'm terribly sorry, but Victoria's feeling under the weather." "I see." "And no-one thought to let me know?" "She asked me to cover this meeting." "Can I take you for lunch?" "Yeah, I keep telling Victoria that we're just not that into you." "You're a single fund." "She's just not getting it." "What is Hewitt Maurice's sudden interest in fund of funds?" "Well... maybe she's just too polite to tell you that we know you have a liquidity issue." "Really?" "Really." "In the current climate, we need to diversify, and you are going to need some significant cash, within the next two months - if my research is correct." "OK, go on." "Well, we've been looking into your investments..." "OK." "I told Jane to cancel the meeting." "As far as I was concerned, it was being rearranged." " What the hell where you thinking?" " I don't know what came over me." "Don't give me that shit." "You're a fucking assistant." "Vic..." "Jesus fucking Christ!" "Vic!" "What?" "!" "All right." "You fucking deal with her, then." "So, am I fired?" "Looks like it." "That's bullshit." "You could have lost us an incredibly valuable investment." "And did I?" "That's not the point." "I was good in there." "Really good." "Yeah?" "That's what Stibbard said, too." "Well, you'd better go." "Pack your things." "I'm sorry." "Pussy." "No, er... can I take a message?" "Yeah..." "OK." "Just been fired." "What?" "You're the only one that understands Excel." "Not my problem any more." "You know, this is shitting unfair dismissal." "It's not really." "He's a cunt and she's a cunt and I'm gonna go in there and say something." "Mr Abassi." "Could I get you some...?" "And you can stop scowling at me, for a start." "I need to talk to you." "Could you hack it in there?" "What do you mean?" "Could you handle Stibbard's investment?" "You want me to be a trader?" "I'm giving you the chance to trade for one client." "Yes or no?" "Yes." "Good." "Glad we don't have to do the whole tribunal thing." "Don't tempt me." "Do I get a raise?" "No." "Come on, Naoms." "What do you want me to do?" "I know you've got more to tell me about it, Steve, come on." "I know it touched 105 yesterday." "Don't bullshit me." "Yeah, didn't ask for a fucking partial fill." "Is everybody seeing this?" "Can we all please keep an eye on this?" "!" "Er... what is going on?" "300,020, right." "Now." "You are jealous." "The way you look at her, the way you look at me." "Of a 20-year-old girl?" "Look at me!" "Do you think I really need to be jealous of a 20-year-old girl?" "Bye!" "Mark?" "Mark?" "Do you know why Gray Leverson's falling?" "Yeah, yeah, I can see that, It's whether we move now or...?" "It's dropped 15% since we opened." "Do I move?" "Have... have you gone?" "It's your portfolio, sweetheart." "It will level out, right?" "The CEO's leaving, Elf girl." "Do you need any more confirmation there's trouble on deck?" "So, what you are gonna do?" "Did you move?" "Got out hours ago." "What's wrong?" "I'm fucking it up." "I thought I could keep up, but I can't." "I don't know what I'm doing." "I've lost on everything this month, Dom." "Everything." "Yeah, that's what trading's like." "You go months not doing well." "I know, I know, but now Gray Leverson's falling like shit and I'm supposed to be up there selling." "Right now I'm supposed to be making a move." "So, why aren't you?" "I don't know." "Just a hunch." "Something's not right." "Or I'm just shit." "No, you're not shit." "You know something, don't you?" "No, I don't." "Yes." "Yes, you do." " No!" " What is it?" "No, stop." "It's illegal." "So, no." "We're supposed to be friends." "Yeah, and I told you I don't want to be your friend." "Dom, I can't deal with that right now." "I'm sorry, but you can't ask me to pretend..." "I'm not thinking it, cos I am and I..." "I need to take this." "Hello?" "Hi." "Yeah, yeah." "And, John, Gray Leverson." "Yeah, I'll get the takeover analysis to you this afternoon ready for the announcement." "And, yeah, it's all totally embargoed." "Yeah." "Great." "Bye." "You're not here." "OK?" "You're not here, you're not..." "Thank you, Dom." "Hurry!" "Bollocks." "Bad day, little Elf?" "It happens." "You'll have to try harder, won't you?" "Hello?" "Hi, this is Elf here, from Hewitt Maurice." "Hi, I'd like to buy 300,000 shares in Gray Leverson, please." "What the fuck are you doing?" "Ssh!" "Thank you, thank you very much." "Are you watching this, guys?" "I've never actually seen someone commit professional suicide." "Keep watching." "Ooh!" "Please explain to me." "Gray Leverson's going positive." "I don't get it." "Hold on." "Smith, you seen this, mate?" "Turn it up." "'The takeover of Gray Leverson by the mega-cap Rubetron Group 'has seen their share prices rise by 15%, 'with further rises predicted before closing today." "'The CEO states that the deal will be accreted to EBS.'" "Look at the price." "I don't understand." "Everyone was so fucking sure." "Elfie." "Elfie!" "Yes, Mark?" "What are you doing?" "Well, now I'm selling." "Chris?" "Do you wanna explain what the fuck went down there?" "Course I heard the news." "No, that isn't what you fucking said!" "We've got 70K each on the fucking portfolios." "Hey, I'm finished." "I'll see you tomorrow." "How much did you make for us today?" "1.2 million." "You got any cigarettes?" "Max Stibbard's coming in on Friday." "He's, um... asked to meet our star trader." "Victoria?" "No..." "You." "He's very happy with the relationship." "So are we." "That's good." "Maybe he'll invest again." "Maybe." "You should take him out." "Show him that we're... fun." "Plus, Max is a sucker for beautiful women." "Do you have a problem with that?" "No." "Within reason." "Course." "People shouldn't underestimate you, should they?" "Miss Stonem." "No." "I should go." "Effy?" "Your cigarettes." "Friday." "OK." "What were you doing in there?" "Just thinking." "It's quiet." "You had a good day on the floor." "Yeah, I did." "Clever girl." "How did you know it was a takeover?" "Just a feeling, I guess." "Right." "A feeling." "I'll see you tomorrow." "No, you won't, actually." "I've decided to move on." "Why?" "Sick of wearing heels." "Good luck with that." "Yeah, good luck to you, too." "See you around." "I always liked it in there, too." "Victoria!" "Vic!" "Good evening, Deptford." "Is this still London?" "Fuck, that's awful." "This one or this one?" "What?" "Which dress?" "I'm trying to work here." "Work?" "Yes, it's my first gig tonight and you're supposed to be coming." "You were supposed to be coming to the doctor's too, but, hey..." "I'm sorry, it's a work thing." "If you say so." "I've got to go." "OK." "100,000." "Wow!" "I do like this." "Makes you look older." "Oh, well, thanks." "No, I mean you... you look good." "Are you here to baby-sit me?" "Don't you have somewhere else to be?" "I do." "He needs to see me, otherwise he's going to try and roll over you." "You make it sound like I'm going into a war zone." "Money is war." "I get it." "Good." "He needs to think that he's winning." "When, in fact... you are." "Am I?" "Easy, boss." "Mr Stibbard." "You know Jake Abassi?" "Call me Max, for fuck's sake." "Jake, how you doing?" "Max." "You know my associate Freddie?" "Yes, I've heard of you." "Too bloody right you have!" "How come all of Jake's traders are hot?" "All of ours look like diseased hamsters." "Well, on that appetising note, I have a dinner appointment." "I'll leave you to it." "Be nice, Max." "Oh, you can rely on it." "So, how do you two gentlemen feel about comedy?" "Bethnal Green!" "I've been Ben Tarrington!" "Thank you and fuck off!" "Thank you, Ben Tarrington!" "There you go." "Fantastic stuff." "Whoo!" "Thank you." "That was Ben there." "Ben, wonderful." "My wife doesn't like the anal sex, but I still make her do it to me anyway." "Um... so, time for the next act, ladies and gentlemen." "Next we have Naomi Campbell!" "So, er... where is she?" "Where's Naomi?" "Oh, there she is." "Er... put your hands together for Naomi Campbell!" "Is this your friend?" "Yeah!" "So, who here is from London?" "No-one?" "Oh, er... good." "Um... now I don't have to pretend to fucking like it here." "Um..." "I'm..." "I'm new to London." "CROWD MURMURING" "Um..." "I moved here with my girlfriend, er..." "Fucking dyke." "Um... yeah, I am, actually." "Um... so, London... no-one actually tells you what it's really like to live here, do they?" "I mean, Boris bikes?" "Am I the only one who thinks it's vaguely creepy that one man owns all the bikes?" "I mean, I'm..." "I'm riding along and all I can think is, isn't this pretty much like letting Boris finger you?" "You're shit!" "Ooh!" "Do you know what?" "Fuck you." "Fuck you and your small-dick complex." "Ooh!" "Shall we just go?" "No, I'm just starting to enjoy it now." "Loser!" "Fuck you all." "It really wasn't that bad." "Shut up, shut up, shut up." "Look, I need to go." "I'm going to kill myself." "Come on, funny girl." "You come and have a drink with us." "Ladies." "What the actual fuck?" "Please, please, Naomi." "Just keep your mouth shut and try and pretend to have a good time." "Who are they anyway?" "They're very important investors." "No more bets." "I just think it's weird, a job that involves making money and nothing else." "I..." "I make people happy." "You make people rich, that's all." "Fuck everyone else." "Naomi..." "Kiss it luck, girl." "Any more bets, please?" "How much is that?" " A grand." " No more bets." "Come on, come on, come on, come on." "Come on, come on." "Come on, come on." "Ah!" "29 black." "It's your fault, Naomi." "You were supposed to fucking kiss it." "Chips, sir." "OK, beautiful." "Now you show me how you win." "I think we're going to do great things, you and I." "With money?" "Of course." "No more bets, please." "I need to talk to you." "Hey!" "No, we need the talent at the table!" "What the fuck is this, Eff?" "What's wrong with you now?" "Why is he touching you?" "These are big investors, Naomi." "That's fucked." "Please tell me you can see that." "Yes, get in!" "Go home, Naomi." "I need to talk to you." "I have to go somewhere." "Not now." "I'm busy." "They're disgusting." "Why can't you see how disgusting they are?" "Go home, Naomi!" "Go." "Effy, get over here!" "Hey!" "A winner." "Let's see you do it again." "Naomi?" "Naomi!" "Naomi!" "Naomi!" "What the fuck are you doing?" "Turn it off!" "Naomi!" "Stop being so fucking mental!" "Turn it off now!" "Naomi, I'm fucking sick of this." "What is wrong with you?" "Got cancer." "What did you say?" "Cancer!" "OK?" "I've got fucking cancer!" "You win!" "You win again!" "Oh, my God." "Emily!" "Hi!" "She deserves to know what's going on." "I can't remember the figures ever being this low." "I need an Effy special." "Could you make that happen?" "I need you to tell me that this isn't as bad as I think it is." "Before you, I was fine, and now I'm fucking pathetic!"

"Please, hurry up." "I don't wanna be late for class." "Not to worry." "Even if we only hit red lights, we'll still arrive seven minutes ahead of schedule." " Seven minutes?" " Relax, we'll make it." "What was that?" "A criminal who is breaking the rules of" "The road." "Octus:" "It's some sort of" "Turbo-charged" "Internal-combustion vehicle." "Lance:" "It's so primitive." "I like it." "Ilana:" "Ugh!" "[ tires screech ]" "Ilana:" "Oh, no!" "Now I'll be late for sure!" "[ horns blaring ]" "Lance:" "Hey!" "You forgot your bag!" "Oh, great." "Now I've got to walk around all" "Day with a pink backpack." "[ engine revs ]" "Do you feel that?" "[ bass thumping ]" "Octus:" "It's causing my" "Circuits to pulse." "Lance:" "Mine, too." "Yo, Dawg." "See what I added last night?" "Bet those cops do, too." "Entirely new valve train, yo." "Stainless-steel racing valves." "You feeling me, bro?" "Whoa." "Did I say you could touch my" "Car?" "No one touches my car." "Lance:" "Hey, I just wanted to" "Look at it." "Dude, why don't you and" "Soccer mom here run back to your" "Cute little minivan and go buy" "Some groceries?" "Or do we have to make you?" "Lance:" "What?" "[ bell rings ] seems like the bell saved" "You, bro." "But don't worry." "We'll meet again." "You too, soccer mom." "Lance:" "What's his problem?" "Octus:" "He has extremely high" "Testosterone levels." "Lance:" "That guy doesn't" "Deserve a car like this." "You know, I bet we could make" "One of these." "Octus:" "Quite easily," "Actually." "Lance, what's a soccer mom?" "[ writing on chalkboard ]" "Ilana:" "Sorry." "I'm so sorry." "I'm so sorry, Mrs. O'Brien." "I tried to get here as fast as I" "Could." "Traffic..." "Ilana, I never figured you" "For the type who would be tardy." "[ laughter ]" "Ilana:" "I-I-I... homework." "Ilana:" "Of course." "It's in my... oh, no, no, no," "No, no!" "I left it in my bag, which is in" "The car." "I can get it." "Can I go get it?" "Please, please, please, please," "Mrs. O'Brien." "Please!" "I'm very disappointed." "I'm afraid I'll have to give you" "An "f" for the assignment." "Ilana: [ gasps ]" "But..." "I'm sorry, but those are the" "Rules." "Now take your seat." "Octus: [ slurping ]" "These ice sticks are amazing." "Who knew the combination of" "Chemicals, sugar, and water" "Could be so delightful?" "[ slurping ]" "Ilana:" "Ugh!" "Ugh!" "Ugh!" "You can't even begin to imagine" "What I've been through today." "Ugh!" "Ugh!" "What are you doing?" "Lance:" "Building a car." "Octus:" "And eating delightful" "Ice sticks." "Ilana:" "Why?" "You don't even have a license." "Lance:" "A license?" "Octus:" "Lance has piloted" "Galalunian velociters at maximum" "Speed." "These are primitive machines." "A child could drive them." "Lance:" "Thanks, Newton." "Ilana:" "No, a child cannot" "Drive them." "Because on this planet, you need" "To be 16 years old and you need" "A license to drive." "Those are the rules." "Lance:" "Fine." "I'll have Octus make me one." "Ilana:" "No, you can't do that." "You have to follow the rules." "'cause if you don't, you'll end" "Up in a traffic jam, come late" "To school, forget your homework" "In the car, and get an "f."" "I have a responsibility as a" "Leader to set an example." "Trust me, Lance." "You want to follow the rules." "Or else you'll end up a huge" "Disappointment." "Just like me." "Well, well." "If it isn't soccer mom." "Check out the sweet ride." "Lance:" "Hey!" "What's your problem?" "You are." "Ilana:" "Boys, fighting on" "School grounds is against the" "Rules." "Whoa!" "Little sis." "I wouldn't want to break the" "Rules." "Ilana:" "Good." "Come on, boys." "We'd better go before little" "Sister gives us a ticket." "Lance:" "What did you do that" "For?" "Ilana:" "Rules are rules," "Lance!" "Lance:" "Oh, all that work." "Octus:" "It's all right." "We still have this." "Lance:" "Why didn't you show me" "That before?" "Octus:" "I wanted to eat ice" "Sticks." "Lance:" "Hmm." "Not exactly what I had pictured." "Octus:" "It is perfect." "Ilana:" "Don't drink the milk!" "It expired yesterday!" "Lance:" "What is up with her?" "Octus:" "Seems all finished" "Here." "I think our hard day's work" "Deserves a reward." "Popsicle?" "Lance:" "You go ahead." "[ squeaking ]" "Maybe I could just... [ engine turns over ] [ engine revs ]" "Where's the harm?" "I'll just go around the block." "[ insects chirping ]" "[ tires screech ] [ tires screech ] hey, bro." "Where's mommy?" "Nice car." "Looks like you raided a dumpster" "To make that thing." "Lance:" "There's a lot more to" "It than you think." "Doubt that, fool." "What do you think, babe?" "Should we find out what kind of" "Monster this fool's got under" "The hood?" "How about it, bro?" "You want to race?" "[ engine revs ]" "Yeah." "I didn't think so." "That bucket of junk." "Lance:" "I'm in." "Yeah, Dawg." "Follow me." "[ tires screech ]" "[ engine revs ] [ tires screech ]" "First one to the end of the site" "And back wins." "You got it?" "Lance:" "Got it." "[ engines rev ] [ engines revving ]" "[ tires screeching ]" "[ tires screech ]" "[ tires screech ] [ tires screech ]" "[ engine revs ] [ tires screech ] [ tires screech ]" "[ tires screech ]" "[ tires screech ] [ tires screech ]" "[ tires screech ]" "Lance:" "It's not over yet," "Chan." "[ crowd cheering ] [ tires screech ]" "[ crowd cheering ]" "Hey, you tried to kill me back" "There." "Little baby gonna cry now?" "Lance:" "Get out of the car." "[ sirens wailing ] it's the cops!" "[ crowd shouting ] [ sirens wailing ] freeze!" "Lance:" "Freeze?" "[ telephone ringing ]" "Ilana:" "Hello?" "What?" "!" "Lance:" "What's going on?" "Where's my car?" "Shut up, punk!" "I'll ask the questions!" "Who's the white dragon?" "Lance:" "I don't know what" "You're talking about." "Stop playing games, punk!" "We know you're a part of the" "White dragon's gang!" "Detective Blutosky?" "Lance:" "Ilana?" "Ilana:" "According to section 4c of the penal code, no person" "Can be held longer than two" "Hours, nor can said person be" "Held accountable for actions" "Based on hearsay." "And in accordance with your own" "Rule book, you cannot detain my" "Brother any longer." "Come on, Lance." "You watch your back, kid." "One of these days, I'm gonna" "Catch the white dragon." "And I'm gonna take all you punks" "Down with him!" "Ilana:" "Rules, Detective." "I suggest you learn them." "[ growls ]" "Lance:" "Mike Chan?" "[ scoffs ]" "I can't believe that guy." "And now the police think I'm" "Part of his gang." "Ilana:" "You might as well be." "Trespassing, driving without a" "License, street racing." "I can't even imagine what rule" "You haven't broken." "Octus:" "So, how did our car" "Perform?" "Lance:" "Perfect." "But they tried to kill me." "I'm gonna get that guy." "Ilana:" "Oh, no." "No more driving until you" "Follow the proper rules and get" "A license." "And don't even think you're" "Getting that car back until you" "Do." "Lance:" "Fine." "I'll get my license." "And then I'll get Chan." "[ roaring ]" "Lance Lunis." "[ engine turns over ] all right, proceed out onto" "Lakeview street." "[ engine revs ]" "[ engines revving ]" "oh, no, young man!" "Are you road-raging right now?" "Lance:" "Uh, no." "It's just... you see, I..." "I wasn't." "Green light." "Lance:" "Oh, sorry." "Uh, right." "[ tires screeching ]" "[ tires screech ] [ tires screech ] boy, what's wrong with you?" "Lance:" "He braked!" "I'm gonna break you if you" "Don't watch it!" "Dang, bro." "Big mama giving little baby" "Driving lessons?" "Who you calling "big," you" "Spike-haired, toy-car-driving" "Punk?" "!" "Get your butt out of here before" "I slap that cheap paint job" "Right off!" "Lance:" "Thanks." "Oh, don't thank me!" "You're about a half a car length" "From failing, son." "Octus:" "It sure is nice of you" "To get Lance's car out of the" "Impound lot." "Ilana:" "After all the hard" "Work he's put in, he's earned" "It." "I just hope he's doing well on" "His test." "Octus:" "Ah." "There it is." "Ilana:" "That's it?" "It's so..." "So..." "Octus:" "So what?" "Ilana:" "I guess I expected" "More from you guys." "Eyes on the road, Mr. Lunis." "[ tires screech ]" "Going a little fast, are we?" "Lance:" "I 'mgoingfast?" "Are you sassing me up?" "Lance:" "No, I, uh..." "What the... [ tires screech ] [ tires screeching ] oh, no, they didn't!" "[ tires screech ]" "Aah!" "[ buzzing ] [ tires screech ]" "Ilana:" "Octus?" "Octus:" "The rift gate has" "Opened." "Ilana:" "We have to contact" "Lance." "Octus:" "I'll proceed to his" "Position." "Ilana:" "Will you hurry up?" "We've got to get to Lance." "Octus:" "I'm simply obeying" "This planet's traffic rules," "Like you told me." "Ilana:" "I know I told you" "That." "Now I'm telling you to break" "Them." "Octus:" "Are you sure?" "Ilana:" "Yes." "The rules don't apply to" "Something like this." "Now go." "Octus:" "Got it." "[ tires screech ] aah!" "Oh, sweet mama!" "All right, test is done." "Pull over." "Just... just pull over!" "Lance:" "Done?" "But... [ communicator beeping ] is that your cellphone?" "Lance:" "Oh, no." "Not now." "Not now!" "Boy, have you lost your mind?" "Oh, sweet mercy!" "Oh!" "Slippery road!" "Slippery road!" "Slow down!" "Lance:" "I can't!" "Why?" "!" "Lance:" "Give it a minute." "What the... [ roars ] aah!" "Aah!" "[ tires screech ] if baby boy stays, so do I." "[ tires screech ]" "Come on, fool!" "Bring it on!" "Lance:" "Are you crazy?" "Get out of here!" "What, and leave all the fun" "To you and big mama?" "You dang fool!" "This ain't no game!" "[ tires screech ]" "[ tires screech ]" "Aah!" "[ tires screech ]" "Lance:" "Are you all right?" "Is it over?" "Lance:" "Um, not quite." "Okay, well, I'll just be down" "Here." "Let me know when it's over." "[ tires screech ] yeah!" "Oh!" "Lance:" "Ilana?" "Ilana:" "Lance?" "[ tires screeching ]" "Lance:" "Hey." "Both:" "Hey." "Hey, hold on a second." "I got something to tell you." "Lance:" "I know." "I failed the test." "Failed?" "!" "Son, I ain't never seen skills" "Like yours." "Shoot, you should be the" "Instructor." "[ roars ] well, I see you have a ride," "So I'm out of here." "[ tires screech ] octus:" "Initiate Sym-bionic" "Titan." "[ roars ]" "[ screeches ]" "[ roars ] [ roars ]" "[ roars ]" "Lance:" "Let's finish him." "Can I give you a hand?" "Thanks, man." "[ handcuff clicks ]" "Hey, what the... well, well." "The white dragon." "At long last, we meet." "Lance:" "See ya." "Watch your back, bro." "I'll be coming for you." "In 5 to 10 years, maybe." "Lance:" "Nice." "Octus:" "Nice." "Ilana:" "Look, look!" "It's from the DMV!" "[ laughs ] octus:" "Wow." "That is unusual." "Ilana: [ laughs ]" "See how great it is to follow" "The rules, Lance?" "Lance:" "Yeah." "And you learned how to bend the" "Rules." "Ilana:" "Only for emergencies." "Lance:" "I didn't mean that." "Ilana:" "This expired!" "I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"I miss you, Hank." "I really miss you." "I miss you too." "What are you doing here?" "Well, not what you were going to be doing." "I'll tell you that." "I knew you were seeing her." "It was just different..." "Me seeing her." "We're just friends." "I think there were unresolved feelings there." "On both sides." "This is me." "This is what you get." "It's not enough for me." "It's not what I want." "I'm sorry." "Is this an arranged marriage?" "What if she gets engaged and moves to London?" "What are we gonna do?" "Will you return to the Hamptons next summer to work for Hankmed?" "I don't know." "I don't know is not a no." "So I have an on-the-record maybe." "Good." "Today in the northeast we are going to see plenty of sunshine, with the high pressure dominating and really comfortable temperatures." "But enjoy it, because a storm system is headed our way." "We won't see too much of it tonight, but we'll be looking for some severe thunderstorms in our area later this week." "And as the junior explorer rounded the dark corner, he came face-to-face with..." "The rule zombie." "And the rule zombie, he looked at him with great disappointment." "And he warned him about not observing the buddy system, about wandering off the designated trail." "Remember when we were talking about the... the... the..." "Looks like that storm system's coming in." "So we gotta split up and take cover." "Explorer chaperones, you too." "Yeah." "I'm just..." "I gotta... okay." " Can I come in?" " No." "Full tent, huh?" "I'm sure there's room for one more." "Hey, chip, you know the best thing about nature?" "No fluorescent lighting?" "It's that you're never alone." "It's what I realized when I was a junior explorer." "It's why I became a ranger." "The park, it's full of life all the time." "Just look around." "You'll see what I mean." "Like those fireflies over there?" "Yep." "Exactly." "And that person wandering off the designated trail?" "You know, chip, hop in that tent and zip up the door, okay?" "Code violation equals nice little..." "Hey, you!" "Stop right there." "Ryan Wilson, underqualified." "Larry Butler, overqualified." "Nicole Mollen, no, too specialized." "Victoria Chazin, Columbia, USC, top of her class, rotations in emergency and family medicine." "Could be good." "He comes bearing merchandise." "What a change of pace for him." "Actually, this is not about merchandising." "This is about survival." "I didn't know you could distinguish between the two." " Nice." " Yeah." "Ooh, hand warmers." "Freeze-dried meals." " Glow sticks." " Duct tape." "Are we going into hiding?" "No, these are emergency preparedness kits." "This is a new corporate policy per the cfo." "Every Hankmed employee must have one on his or her person just until further notice." "Infant formula." "Really?" "Yeah, I had a coupon for those." "Anyway, the end-of-summer storm is coming, and we will be prepared for it." "This is the most important part." "I got GPS transmitters." "One for you and one for you." "I got the, uh, the mother ship." "Evan, where would I possibly get lost?" "And why would I want you to be the one to find me?" "If the high pressure keeps building out of Atlantic Canada, what we saw last night, that's gonna be like a basket of kittens compared to what comes next." "So just in case." "All right." "Good." "It works." "Awesome." " Wow." " I know, I know." "Look, he's always been terrified of thunderstorms." "It's too bad Paige isn't in town to console him." "When we were little, he used to climb into my bed during torrential downpours and make me play board games." "Well, that explains why you're such a fan of blue skies." "Exactly." "Now, if you don't have to be out on the roads, it's a good idea to stay home and batten down the hatches." "Stay right here for all the latest developments on this end-of-summer storm." "Hankmed." "How can we help you today?" "Yep, that's poison Ivy all right." "Leaves of three, let it be." "Hairy vine, no friend of mine." "I've had poison Ivy 17 times." "So..." "Yeah." "Okay, so, chip, this will make it feel better." "Chip, how did this happen?" "I wandered off the designated trail looking for ranger Pete." "He disappeared last night and never came back." "Maybe ranger Pete had some important park business to attend to." "Ranger Pete!" "Ranger Pete, are you okay?" "Sir, what happened to you?" "I have no idea." "Pupils are equal, round, reactive to light and accommodation." "And extraocular movement is intact?" "Well, what's the matter with me?" "You seem to have some form of retrograde amnesia." "Losing memory of events that preceded a trauma." "Yet, I'm not finding any of the telltale signs of a head injury." "Can you guys, indoor voice maybe?" "We sound loud to you right now?" "Yeah, I mean, not as loud as those red-tailed hawks outside." "They must be mating." "Uh, do you hear hawks mating?" " No." " Hypersensitivity to sound." "Pete, any other discomfort or pain?" "Um, well, I mean, I got a headache and sore muscles." "You're gonna need an mri." "I'll call Hamptons heritage." "Good." "No service." "You might wanna try in the parking lot." "But really, the only reliable place in the park is sunrise peak out by the ocean." "Can I just use that?" "The emergency phone?" "Uh, yeah." "We just use it in emergencies." "You're a stickler for the rules, huh, Pete?" "No need to yell." "Oh, right." "Indoor voice." "Sorry." "You're a real-life storm chaser?" "In the flesh." "And, no, I haven't seen the movie or the tv show." "Where's the rest of your team?" "It's just me and Zeus." "Zeus." "Well, it's nice to meet you both." "He's a next-generation storm-tracking machine." "The only guy in my life I can rely on." "Wow." "Where did you buy him?" "You can't buy a reliable guy." "I invented him." "So, uh, what do you and your boyfriend Zeus think about this storm that's headed our way tomorrow?" "Oh, we think it's gonna be a lot bigger than expected." "On tv, they said it was gonna be pretty... what... what makes you say it's gonna be bigger?" "The offshore path, the temperature differential." "We're looking at major instability and turbulence." "Wow." "Divya, no, no, put that down." "Do you have a death wish?" "What is the matter with you?" "You know, the odds of getting hit by lighting are roughly 1 in 750,000?" "You're saying that there's a chance?" "This storm's gonna be really bad." "Okay, I just need to call the hospital." "Oh, here, use my sat phone." " Thank you very much." " Um, Stacy sachs, storm chaser, this is Divya Katdare, physician assistant." " Storm chaser." " Physician assistant." "Nice to meet you." "Hey, maybe... uh, maybe you could remove my cast." "Fair exchange for the phone call." "Thanks." "We are watching a potentially dangerous weather pattern." "We'll be looking for some severe thunderstorms across the area by nightfall." "Don't indulge the hype." "Ignore it." "We're gonna get our house in order, and we're gonna do it by the book." "So check blood, food, and laundry supplies." "Sterilize surgical equipment, transfer and discharge whomever we can." "All right, everybody." "Let's get to work." "Very impressive." "We could use someone like you at the park." " You must be ranger Stambleck." " Yes, ma'am." "The mri suite is waiting for you." "Is it just me, or is it loud in here?" "Well, that's what we're here to find out." "What?" " Uh, that's what we're here..." " I was joking." "It was a joke." "Uh, ranger Pete, this way." "You don't have to yell at me." "So now I know why you've been so hard to get ahold of." "Yeah." "I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you, but storm prep is very time-consuming." "Will it consume you all week?" "I was just thinking that..." "I mean, it's been a while." "Maybe we should get together." "I'd like that." "But the only night that I have free this week is tomorrow." "Oh, when the storm is supposed to peak." "Yeah, well, it's just a little water." "Maybe an ocean breeze." "Man up, city boy." " Tomorrow night it is then." " Okay." "Any implants or joint replacements?" "Uh, no." "All original parts, thank you." "Okay." "You'll need to remove your watch." "Oh, I'd be happy to." "The alarm beeps are deafening." "Can't you just turn off the alarm?" "That would involve more beeps." "Oh, I never saw that." "Pete, I think I may know what's causing your amnesia." " You do?" " You do?" "Think back again to last night and concentrate, okay?" "Because if I'm right, you may develop other symptoms." "When you were out in that clearing, and the storm was starting to gather, is it possible that..." "Oh, my God." "Struck by..." "I don't... what are the odds?" "1 in 750,000." "Roughly." "So how did you fracture your wrist?" "I was tracking violent weather in Minneola, Kansas." "Tornado alley." "Sounds like a lovely place." "Well, it was on this day." "Until I made the mistake of getting northeast of the updraft core of a supercell." "It threw me, and I landed on my wrist." "I'm not exactly sure what you've just described, but sounds like something that you'd want to stay far away from." "No." "No, no." "I wanted to get closer to it." "It was so beautiful and thrilling." "So you put yourself in harm's way just for the thrill?" "Do you know why predicting storm patterns is so hard?" "I don't, actually." "Uh, hold still." "We're done." "It's because there is so much information." "Zeus can synthesize it all, assemble the big picture, and hopefully save some lives in the process." "Sounds a little lonely." "At times." "And it can also be dangerous," "I.E., the occasional little wrist fracture." "But, no, I wouldn't trade it for anything." "Well, let's see how that little wrist fracture has healed." "Okay, good." "Stacy, how long ago did you say that this happened?" "Uh, six weeks ago." "You have a non-union of the colles fracture." "I'd like to talk to the doctor who set your wrist." "Okay, so maybe it happened four weeks ago." "Look, I have to get this cast off, so I can get back to work." "With both hands." "Stacy, I can't take the cast off now." "And you just need to take it a little easy." "I can't take it easy." "I never could." "I'm sorry I wasted your time." "And the red-tailed hawk, you know, it's, like, people have this idea that it's just the tail that's red, but it's, like, the whole personality of it is." "Hey, Pete." "How you feeling?" "Fine, actually." "Except for the fact that I've been here all day." "Oh, yeah, we're just waiting for the results... the mri, ecg, hearing test, blood." "Was all that really necessary?" "For a lightning injury?" "Uh, yeah." "It's pretty standard to have a good look around." "Yeah." "I'm shocked to be a strike victim." "I got to tell you, doc," "I'm not feeling so victim-y-ish." "And I can't stand this place." "You know the windows don't even open?" "The only fresh air around here is in the oxygen tanks." "Pete, we still need to check your results and look for damage, so we can anticipate any problems down the road." "Like what?" "Well, like neurocognitive deficits, chronic pain syndromes that may not manifest for days or weeks." "Okay." "So... so what's next?" "Well, in 48 hours, we need to repeat the ecg and blood and urine tests to check for deep-tissue damage." "48 hours?" "I can't spend the next two days indoors." "In here?" "I got to get back to the park." "All right." "Well, be back in 48 hours, but I'm gonna drive you there myself." " Sweet." "Let's go." " Yeah, Pete, Pete, Pete." "You may want to change." "Oh, yeah." "Well, I mean..." "we'll do it in the car." "Oh, Pete, you can't go out like that." "Listen to all those great sounds." "I can hear the northern flicker woodpeckers." "Big fan of the flicker." "Excited to get back to work, huh?" " You have no idea." " Oh." "Well, good news." "Your CPK is normal." "And your urine is negative for myoglobin, which means no muscle or heart damage." " Oh, awesome." " Yeah." "Hank, you're a very responsible doctor and a gentleman, but think I can take it from here?" "Yeah, no, of course." "I'm just..." "I'm still concerned about the hyperacute hearing, so I'll be checking back to make sure it resolves." "Works for me." "Okay." "That looks like a nice place for a nap." "Well, I don't nap there." "I sleep there." "What?" "You sleep out here every night?" "Hank, there's 24 hours in each day." "Sun rises in the east, sets in the west." "Nature follows rules." "I try and stay as close to it as I can." "All right, well, just don't stay too close till this storm passes." "You think lightning can strike twice?" "I believe in keeping people out of hospitals, so I can't afford to play the odds." "And neither can you." "Astraphobia." "What?" "The irrational fear of thunder and lightning." "Just diagnosed you." "Um, your park ranger is actually proof that my fear is entirely rational." "Actually, you could argue that he just took the hit for the 749,999 people closest to him, which would make you even safer than before." " No, it's good logic." " It is." "Safer from lightning at least." "Oh, my God." "Did you have wound care on stand for me?" "If you'd reached for the power drill," "I was gonna start scrubbing in." "Good." "Joke all you want." "But when everyone else is freaking out 'cause they don't have coast guard-approved weather gear, we'll see who's laughing then." "Dude, I have to say," "I don't remember your astraphobia ever being quite this irrational." "It's not irrational." "You're tying down a wicker frame." "It's not wicker." "And suddenly there were two rule zombies." "And then three." "These zombies were angry and drooling, looking for blood." "You see, this was their park." "And they weren't gonna let some mischievous kid disrespect it and then brag about it to his mischievous friends." "They moved in closer." "To be continued, explorers." "Aw." "Hey." " Hey, bud." " You guys want to join us?" "We're about to practice our bowline flood rescue techniques." "That sounds like fun, but we're just here to see how you're doing." "I'm on top of the world." "Really." "This feels like the first time in my life people can actually see me." "Maybe we should prescribe lightning strikes to all our patients." "Everything okay, Pete?" "Do you hear what I'm hearing?" "Probably not." "What is it?" "Banging, grunting." "Maybe the hawks are at it again." "Something's not right." "Explorers, stay here within the circle of trust." "The acting troop commander will be chip, since he's most responsible." "Over there." "She's in a non-designated area." "Ma'am, don't move." "Stacy!" "Ma'am, don't move." "Hey, you're the fugitive from the other night." "Easy." "He shouldn't be going down in that area." "Hey, Stacy, hi, I'm a doctor." "Let me just take a look at you." " I'm really all right." " Okay." "Okay." "Is she okay?" "I think you broke my hard drive." "Let's make sure that's the only thing that broke." "Is your arm okay?" "I told you." "I'm okay." "I need to make sure that my transceiver is up and running before the storm hits tonight." "You're gonna need a permit for that." "All right, you know what, ma'am, here's the situation." "We're gonna safely vacate you from the restricted area." "Then you need to clean up your stuff." "How am I supposed to clean up if I've been vacated?" "It's a fair point." "Let's get you up from here." "Listen, I'm not bothering anyone." " I know." "Come." " Here we go." " Okay." " Grab my hand, ma'am." "One, two, three." "Yeah." "There we go." "Whoa." "That's... that's weird." "Yeah, I'll say." "Yeah, I guess I rescued you too hard." "No, no, no, no." "That... that noise." "Um, hey, is that... did you get zapped?" "Did I..." "um, well, yeah." "And you're okay?" "Actually, it's a bit early to say." "I've never met anyone who was struck before." "I mean, the odds of that happening." "1 in 750,000." "Exactly." "I mean, well, roughly." "Gah, connecting to nature in such a primal way kind of makes you a rock star." "I mean, in meteorological circles." "You know, I..." "can you get off... that's my gun." "Oh." " That's not... yeah..." " Ah!" "Ooh, here, let me help you." "Oh, my rib." "Stacy, Stacy, we should really take a look at that." "I'm okay." "Oh, there it is." "Yeah, looks like you fractured the eighth rib on your right side." "That's no big deal, right?" "And the buzzing in my ears, I mean," "I only heard it for a few seconds." "Yeah, I don't see any signs of head trauma." "You were probably just hearing your pulse racing from all the adrenaline." "Have you had many other bone injuries before?" "Comes with the job." "Um, I broke my tibia chasing an f3 tornado in Iowa." "I fractured my clavicle during hurricane Charlie." "Oh, and I chipped a bone in my foot getting out of my truck twice." "You might have mentioned all of these injuries yesterday." "Believe me, I get banged up on the job all the time." "Yeah, no, I'm sure, but this is more than just hazards of the trade." "Your bones look a bit pale here, not quite as dense as I'd normally like to see." "You know what, I noticed the same thing yesterday when I did her wrist X-ray." "She's awfully young for osteomalacia." "Osteo-what?" "It's a deficiency in the components used to make bone..." "vitamin d, phosphorus..." "Okay, enough about my ribs." "You guys, how about just slipping me some painkillers and getting this cast off so I can get back to work?" "Okay, Stacy, you really need to slow down." "I will have plenty of time to relax next week, but there is a severe weather event peaking tonight, and I intend to be right in its path." "Have you had any surgeries recently?" " Nope." " Are you taking any meds?" " Nope." " It could be you're not getting enough vitamins and minerals in your diet or just malabsorption." "We should order a full metabolic workup, and let's track down all of Stacy's previous x-rays." "Sounds like there may be a lot of them." " Okay, doc, can't we just..." " Nope." "Sorry." "Cast won't come off before next week." "Can you finish up with this storm chaser?" " Yeah." " Thank you." "Um, hankmed memorandum." "In the unlikely, but actually very likely event that the national power grid goes down, all patient accounts shall now be settled in cash, okay?" "Regarding your memorandum of two seconds ago concerning patient accounts, no." "Okay, where..." "whoa, where are you going?" "Got to change." "I'm meeting Jill for dinner." "Okay." "Tonight?" "Going out tonight?" "Yeah." "Are you out of your mind?" "You should be here." "You should be helping me batten down the hatches." "We have hatches, right?" "I'm sure Boris must have hatches." "Stop saying hatches." "And don't wait up for me." "Just leave the front hatch unlocked." "So I just want to let you know" "Emily and I broke up." "Yeah she dumped you." "Why would you assume that?" "Hot, blonde doctor." "Sexy medical banter." "Feisty in the bedroom." "You expect me to believe you'd walk away from that?" "I..." "Sorry, one sec." "Yeah." "Yeah, hello?" "Hello, Hank?" "Can you hear me?" "Pete, what's wrong?" "The northern leopard frog is gone." "The what... what's gone?" "The northern leopard frog." "I can't hear its distinctive grunts anymore or any of the other sounds from before." "Just this annoying thump in my ear." "It's common for that to go away." "And that thumping is called residual tinnitus." "Completely normal for someone struck by lightning." "It's not just that, Hank." "I feel like I lost my mojo." "I..." "I feel all alone out here." "Invisible again." "You've been through a trauma." "You know, mood swings are to be expected." "Listen, I want you to go inside and wait for me by the ranger station, okay?" "But the lightning's coming." "You know, I..." "I need..." "I need... what... what..." "you need what?" "Shoot." "Listen, would you mind if we make a stop on the way to dinner?" "No, not at all." "Thank you." "Well, I'm glad to see you're taking it easy." "The storm is approaching the target area, doc." "Time to saddle up." "Something wrong?" "Yeah, have you seen ranger Pete?" "He's not at the station." "No, I think that falling on top of him was enough awkwardness for one day." "Well, this may be a medical emergency." "We need to find him." "Stacy, the buzzing in your ear that you told me about." "Yeah?" "I need to know exactly when you first noticed it." "Was it right around the time you landed on Pete?" "Yeah, but I thought that you said that was nothing." "Okay, try to remember, was it a buzz or was it more of, like, a whooshing sound?" "It was more of a whooshing, and I also felt a vibration." "Okay, what I think you heard or felt wasn't coming from you." "It was coming from Pete, from his neck." "We need to find him now before he has a stroke." " Stroke?" " Yeah." "Well, what can I do?" "There's a spot in the park that... the one that gets a decent signal." " Yes, sunrise peak." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Come with me." "I know a shortcut." "Great." "Pete!" "Pete, you shouldn't be out here." "I'll call 911!" "Did he get hit again?" "I didn't see any lightning over here." "He probably suffered a transient ischemic attack." "I think he has a tear in his carotid artery, which could have caused a small clot." "Come on, buddy." "There he is." "Hey, Pete, we're gonna get you out of here soon." "Yup." "There it is." "A dissection of your carotid artery." "It wasn't the lightning?" "Well, yes and no." "When you got struck the other day," "I think the impact threw you to the ground with such force, it tore the artery in your neck." "Well, how could I not feel that?" "It probably started as a very small tear that took a few days to grow, so it was easy to miss at first." "Hank, I still can't get a cell signal." "Well, we need to get him to a hospital." "There's got to be another... ambulance is on the way." "Great." "Thank you." "Okay, bud." "Sorry to bother you while you are out to dinner, but Stacy's blood and urine lab work are back, and they confirm it's osteomalacia." "Question now is why." "Kidney failure, pancreatitis, acidosis..." "none of them make sense for a seemingly healthy 33-year-old." "I feel like we're missing something, Hank." "Call me back?" "Okay, so I know who Stacy is, I know what urine is." "The rest you're going to have to explain." "Maybe later." "I am just about to take off." "Okay." "I'm very interested in Stacy's case, you know." " You are?" " Yeah, chasing storms is her whole life." "Um, plus Hank isn't here, so I'm second in command." "All right, I'm tied for second." "Okay?" "I thought maybe you could use someone to bounce things off of." "Well, that is very sweet." "But I am headed home before the rains start and the roads flood." "Um, so did you not hear what Stephanie Abrams said on the weather channel today?" "She said this is the big one, the end-of-summer storm." "The Mayans were right." "It's not safe out there." "She said that, like, four times." "Evan, I'll be fine." "You know what, Divya," "I can't allow it." "What about raj?" "What would raj do if he lost you?" "Just think about him." "Or does he have other wives?" "Look, look, look, this is not the time for you to be out on the open road in your car by yourself..." "Divya." "Well, I suppose that there is more space to work here." "And your refrigerator is better stocked than mine." "I stocked it today, yeah." "So, uh..." "Maybe I'll, you know, ride out the storm here." "If that is okay with you." "Sure." "Absolutely." "Yeah." "If it makes you feel safer." "Okay." "So you wanna play risk?" " A board game?" " Yeah." "You can have India." "All right, we need a head ct to rule out hemorrhagic stroke and a ct angio of his neck to confirm my diagnosis." "The vascular surgeon's waiting at the E.R." "Lift." "You're gonna be fine, Pete." "Thanks for saving my life, Hank." "Hey, you can thank Stacy." "She's the one who could hear your damaged artery when she fell on you." "Good thing I rescued her." "If we hadn't caught this now, it could have led to a major stroke." "Pete, what were you doing out there?" "I don't know." "I was looking for something." "Whatever it is, you're not gonna find it in a lightning storm." "Maybe you already have it." "You just need the confidence to trust that." " Hey, doc." " Yeah." "Uh, can I ride with him?" " Yeah, if it's okay with..." " Really?" "Sure." "No, wait a minute." "You can't miss the storm." "That's the only reason you're here." "Are you kidding?" "I get to hang out with an actual lightning victim." "That's the best field study ever." "And, besides, there's always another storm." "That's the beauty of nature." "You know, I remember something about when I got zapped." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "Pete, we'll meet you there." "Something tells me Chewy's isn't gonna be open." "Yeah, I'm sorry we didn't make it to dinner." "I guess we'll have to take a rain..." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Okay, good." "And glad we didn't get here three seconds sooner." "Okay." "Ugh." "Perfect." "Like I was saying, rain check." "Yeah." "Exactly." "All right, come on, Divs." "I'm attacking yakutsk." "Evan, I am here because there is a storm raging outside, not because I want to relive being a teenager." "With no life." "Though that is exactly what a teenage girl sounds like." "Maybe you should be watching twilight." "Seen it." "Team Edward." "Hank, sorry to bother you again, but I have been reviewing some case studies, and there is one condition that we haven't ruled out yet for Stacy." "Unfortunately, diagnosing it requires a full-body scan." "Call me." "I'm here with Evan." "Alone." "Of course." " Still no signal?" " Nope." "Okay, we can't stay here all night." "I'm gonna walk to the main road and try to find some help." " Seriously?" " Yeah." "Hank, no." "You're gonna have to swim your way out of the park." "Oh, really?" "That's the first time" "I've seen you show any concern about the storm." "Well, it's the first time I've been almost crushed by a tree." "True." "Okay." "Don't go anywhere now." "I'm going with you." "That's where I'm going." "All right." "Bad idea!" "Back to the car!" "Okay, that was possibly the worst idea ever." "Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time." "Wow." "Maybe we should just stay here a while." "Now that's the best idea ever." "Okay." "They should not be out in this weather." "Evan, relax." "They're having dinner." "And not only is this power outage temporary, but you are completely prepared for it." "In fact, because of you, we all are." "You're right." "It's go time." "Just let me flip on our new emergency backup generator." "Anything?" "Nope." "Anything?" "No." " Anything?" " Still no." "So much for your battle plan." "You know, at least I had one." "That may or may not have involved me buying a generator on Craigslist." "As-is." "Thank you." "Damn the end of summer." "What did you just say?" " I said, "damn the end-of-summer storm."" "No, you said, "damn the end of summer."" "It doesn't take a psychologist to figure out where you're going with this." "Where are you going with this?" "Maybe this isn't about the storm." "Your father could be going to prison." "Many of Hankmed's clients will be leaving their summer homes." "You'll be leaving the Hamptons." "Which means we'll still have a zillion resumes to go through." "Then I'll have to train your replacement." "Yeah, it does feel like everything's up in the air." "Yeah." "In a few weeks," "I will be moving to London, starting a whole new life." "It is unsettling." "But like all storms, this one is going to pass." "And you'll be fine, Evan." "We both will." "Is that the worst of it?" "Maybe Zeus miscalculated on this one." "Maybe his thought process is flawed." "Maybe not." "Evan, can you connect the laptop to the big screen?" "Stacy said that the key to predicting a storm pattern was to synthesize all the information and assemble the big picture." "We don't have to wait for a full-body scan." "Stacy's had so many prior breaks that most of her body has already been x-rayed." "That's so cool." "That's almost her whole body." "There it is." "Where?" "On her right foot." "From an X-ray taken two years ago." "I think that that little growth is what's causing the malabsorption." "And if I'm right, it's an easy fix." "Wow." "It's almost like you've turned into Hank." "Except you say "shedule."" "Let's see what we've got in here." "Okay." "Blankie." "Yes." "Yes, yes." "Could have used these five minutes ago." "Yeah." "You got an emergency change of casual women's clothing?" "Even better." "Beef stew and mediterranean chicken." "Vacuum-packed for maximum freshness." "Lady's choice." "Hank, you really are prepared for any situation." "It's all Evan." "Oh, he must never know this emergency kit actually came in handy." "Deal." "Okay." "Okay." "Honestly, I expected worse." "You think this is good, I know this terrific freeze-dried place in southampton." "The best." "I'm at the hospital with Stacy and Pete." "It would be nice if you called." "I'm getting worried, Hank." "I can't tell the difference, can you?" "I'm so sorry." "The roads must be a mess after the storm." "I am sure that Hank is on his way." "But your carotid stent procedure went very well," "Mr. Stambleck." "You should be back to work in a couple of days." "Writing as many citations as you want." "And I hate to state the obvious, but you should avoid any further lightning encounters." "No worries." "We're hoping to install the new Zeus detection system in the park next month." "Pretty amazing technology." "So as soon as they remove this thing from my foot, my bones just go back to normal?" "It's called oncogenic osteomalacia." " Okay." " The growth secretes an enzyme that inhibits vitamin and mineral absorption into your bones." "After the surgery, your bones will be able to absorb them again and should normalize in a couple of months." "In storm chaser lingo, ff I would say that this condition is an f1." "Oh, I can sleep through one of those." "So Jill's not in her office, and the nurses told me that her phone's been going straight to voice mail for hours." "Well, they were both with us in the park last night." "They were supposed to mt us here." " How big is the park?" " About 1,700 acres." "So they could be anywhere." "I can call in a search team." "Or we could use my truck." "Actually, I got this one." "I got it." "So I'm not gonna harp on the fact that my thorough storm preparations were mocked, much like Benjamin Franklin was mocked when he flew his kite too close to the liberty bell." "You're harping." "And bastardizing American history." "But who's grateful now that I put state-of-the-art GPS locators in your bags?" "Grateful that you can track my every move?" "Divs, I prefer to think of it as protecting my valuables, actually." "Bingo." "Guys!" "Hey, guys!" "Hey, we're here to rescue you." "Guys." "Hey." "Oh, my God." "What?" "It looks like they rescued each other." "What should we do?" "Well, we should leave them be while we call for road service." "Oh, my God." "There's no signal out here, though." "There's nothing." "You know, I believe that there is an emergency phone at the ranger station." "Oh, my God, Jill and Hank." "Jank!" "Jank is back." "That's hilarious." "Hey, we made a pretty good team." "We should have a combo name, in fact." "Evan and Divya..." "Evadivs." "Eva... that's weak." "Divya and Evan..." "Divyan." "Divyan?" "Okay, here's one." "Divya and idiot." "Didiot." "Not bad." "This is Stephanie Abrams." "You know, I always thought..." "She's a weather woman, okay?" "Show some respect." "And enjoy the sunshine." "Maybe go down to the market, get some fresh fish, a bottle of wine, and have a good night."

"*" ""'who is like unto me" said" "The cub, 'but thee?" "' Pride of" "His earliest kill." "The jungle is large, and the" "Cubby is small." ""Let him think and be still."" "Do you hunt, Mr. Miller?" "No." "Well, you ought to." "That quote was baloo teaching" "Mowgli the law of the jungle." "Thank you for meeting," "Mr. Carson." "It was a pleasant surprise." "I wanted to meet the young" "Man who, uh, took these" "Pictures." "I'm very, uh, keen on emerging" "Artists." "Collecting art is a..." "Hobby of mine." "Well, I take it very" "Seriously." "I'm glad you like them." "I do, but they confirm my" "Suspicions." "There's a fire sale happening." "A going-out-of-business sale for" "The baby-boom generation." "You know, I-i don't quite know" "How we fucked up." "Maybe it was when we started" "Giving you ribbons for" "Participation or drugging you" "Up at the least sign of" "Discontent." "All you're qualified for is to" "Live at home, keep a blog..." "And persuade the rest of your" "Entitled friends that your" "Whimsical social commentaries" "Are interesting." "These pictures don't..." "Represent the rise of a new" "Generation." "To me, you see, they perfectly" "Capture its decline!" "Recent data from the" "Census bureau says that the" "Income of the U.S. middle class" "Is on the rise, although" "Pollsters are telling the" "Presidential candidates they" "Could still use some help." "Senator mccain talked about an" "Economic plan that would" "Restore bottom-up economic" "Growth, and senator Obama" "Talked about economic growth" "Designed from the ground up." "Thanks again." "It was his time." "Thank you." "Thanks." "I'll see you back at the house." "Thanks for coming, taking" "Your time out of the office." "We'll see each other at the" "House." "I'll see you back there," "Okay?" "Thanks so much." "Take care." "You know, we'll... we'll come" "As much as we can, you know," "We'll make a great donation, and" "We'll support the temple as much" "As we can." "So sorry." "You know, I'm a busy guy." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you for coming." "Every, um, new beginning." "Some time now." "Yeah, I guess so." "[Sighs]" "This is Kate's cousin, ira's" "Kid, fisher." "This is Mr. and Mrs. Goodman." "Oh, right, yeah." "Sorry about your gramps." "[Sighs]" "You all right?" "Mm-hmm." "See you in the limo." "I thought the rabbi did a great" "Job." "The service was beautiful." "Where was Kate at the" "Funeral?" "She was with her friends." "You'll see her back at the" "House." "I was wondering if I could" "Maybe stay with you two a little" "Longer after ira leaves." "[Beep]" "You know, I'm actually thinking" "About transferring to a school" "In the city, so it'd be really" "Good to be close by." "Hmm?" "I think Kate would enjoy" "That." "Huh." "Huh." "[Sighs]" "You call your father "ira"?" "[Chuckles]" "Stay as long as you want," "Fisher." "You will have a lot more fun at" "Our place than you will at that" "Miserable ithaca." "[Sighs]" "Thank you, yeah." "How is your mom and your" "Little brother?" "She must be [Inhales deeply]" "Well, she must be much happier" "Nowadays." "You don't have to tip-toe" "Around him." "Renee and I are still best" "Friends." "[Sighs]" "Do me a favor, ira." "Let's not make this your" "Coming-out party." "We all know you're gay." "[Sighs]" "Guess we should talk about" "Dad's will." "Take a year to get the audit" "Done on the estate." "Great, let's go from one" "Awkward conversation to the" "Next." "Hey!" "You watch yourself, smartass!" "Your grandfather's gonna finance" "An entire education you want!" "[Birds chirping]" "Hey, honey." "Hi." "How are you?" "I'm good." "Thanks." "Um, dad?" "Hmm?" "Can you return these for me" "In the city?" "No, because I have a job." "I go to an office, and I do" "Something every day." "I need a dress for Dylan's" "Party." "Okay, you will return them or" "Give them to goodwill." "Mom..." "I need a photographer for my" "Modeling book." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Mary!" "I'm sorry." "Spill!" "[Sighs]" "Maybe fisher could take your" "Head shots." "You know, he's really good." "Listen, I'm... this is my" "Fault." "I-I can take care of it." "He can take care of it, Mary." "It's all right, fisher." "Really, let me take care of" "It." "Mary, the shake... can you" "Split it for Kate and I?" "Yes." "Can you hand me the plate?" "Thank you." "Sure." "Mary, it's okay." "I don't want it." "No, bring the shake, Mary." "Hey, hollow out that bagel and" "Go ligh on the cream cheese." "Relax." "And, Katherine, w-what'd we" "Say about these machines on the" "Table?" "Now, we're a family." "We don't have the berries and" "The iPods and the tweeters and" "The..." "Dad, you're not funny by" "Saying "Berry," okay?" "And it's iPhone, and it's not a" "Machine." "Take the phone off the table!" "Phil." "Can we all just relax?" "[Birds chirping]" "[Sighs]" "Take it down." "Let's get going." "You're gonna help me go through" "Grandpa's stuff." "Um, I was thinking about" "Going into the city with Phil" "Today." "There's a, um, Professor there" "That I'd really like to meet." "I thought you of all people" "Would want to go through his" "Things." "I'm..." "Well, we all grieve" "Differently, ira, okay?" "Your son's a go-getter, wants to" "Make something of himself." "This kid's got a future." "He is a real Miller." "Okay." "Just don't forget to see what" "Type of campus jobs are" "Available, fisher." "I'd hate for you to have to beg" "Phil for money." "What the hell is that" "Supposed to mean?" "Hey, listen, I-i apologize" "For what I said to your dad, and" "I don't want you to hear that" "Stuff." "You know, I-i adore your father," "But sometimes he goes off at the" "Mouth." "He doesn't know what he's" "Talking about." "I understand." "It's a sibling thing." "Before I forget, spend a" "Little time with your cousin," "Okay?" "You're staying at the house." "Maybe earn your keep a little" "Bit." "I don't think she wants me" "Around." "Katherine doesn't know what" "The fuck she wants, okay?" "My daughter likes to walk around" "Malls a-and buy shoes." "Yeah, hi." "Yes, I was on the subway." "What's allianz at?" "Buy it at 19, 20, whatever," "Okay?" "And, uh, g.E.?" "It's a piece of shit." "Legg Mason?" "Short it." "Good, good." "And vanguard... just short the" "Shit out of it, okay?" "I want to make some money." "Because I'm in the fucking" "Business of making money." "That's why." "God damn it." "Jesus Christ." "Come on, fisher, let's go." "Hey, Phil!" "Hey, Rafael!" "How you doing, you son of a" "Bitch?" "!" "How'd you get away with that?" "!" "He's an asshole." "[Chuckles]" "Listen, I've been thinking" "About this, art school, LA, LA," "LA, but what you really want to" "Do... you want to go to business" "School." "It's the smart thing." "Grandpa thought I should" "Pursue photography." "[Sputters]" "Grandpa didn't know what the" "Fuck he was talking about, okay?" "And he was a numbers guy." "You have some very powerful" "Images in here." "Much stronger than the portfolio" "You e-mailed." "Thank you." "So, uh, listen, I have to ask" "You." "Do you think I have a shot?" "I wish I could say it's not" "Up to me or my department." "Yeah, what I mean is, um..." "You think you could put in a" "Good word for me with" "Admissions?" "Keep shooting." "My classes will be every" "Thursday afternoon at 3:00 this" "Fall semester." "You can audit the class, and" "I'll look at your work." "[Birds chirping]" "I have to hit the road." "Here." "It was grandpa's." "[Sighs] He left it for you." "[Chirping continues]" "Here." "[Click]" "Look, your mom and I are gonna" "Be fine." "And so are you." "Yeah." "Thanks." "And don't worry about Phil" "And me fighting." "It won't have any affect on your" "Staying here." "They love you." "Just go easy on the sarcasm," "Okay?" "[Chuckles softly]" "Yeah." "[Chirping continues]" "Drive safe, okay?" "Mm-hmm." "[Chirping continues]" "[Engine turns over]" "You should've never dumped" "Dylan." "You googled his stepfather?" "Yeah." "He's loaded." "His mom scored." "I heard he's, like, this" "British billionaire." "[Chuckles softly]" "[Sighs]" "What are you wearing tonight?" "I don't know." "It's a white party, right?" "Um..." "Wear something white?" "But I think you can cheat it" "A little bit." "I mean... who's that guy?" "That's my cousin." "From new Hampshire." "He's really annoying." "What's up?" "Hello." "This is Jody." "You're from new Hampshire?" "No, I'm from ithaca." "He's from ithaca." "[Chuckles]" "Is it cool if I smoke weed" "Back here?" "You're smoking already." "[Laughs]" "You know, Kate, I can take those" "Head shots for you if you want." "No." "Dude, pass that Marley." "You are such a pothead." "Mm-hmm." "My friend's brother grows it." "Thanks." "So I got a nice supply." "What?" "It's just pot." "So, there's no sun in ithaca?" "[Both laugh]" "[Sighs]" "Fisher, this is my boyfriend," "Todd." "Hey, man." "So, I hear you're trying to get" "Into my school." "Yeah, I am." "You should come here." "You're kind of stoned, Jody." "Hell, I'd suck his dick if he" "Could get me more of this weed." "Ew!" "[Laughs]" "It's, um, $60 an 1/8." "Deal." "So, you coming with us tonight?" "No." "Where am I not going?" "[Chuckles]" "You can be my plus one." "Yeah." "[Chuckles]" "No, you have nothing to wear." "No." "Well, why don't you just take" "Him shopping?" "Todd." "Cousin's about to make a lot" "Of money." "Todd." "1, 2, 3, 4." "Nice." "Champagne?" "Absolutely." "Where is everybody?" "Party's out back." "Follow the music." "[Cheering in distance]" "Sooner we get fucked, the" "Better." "Where's Matt?" "Champagne?" "Thanks." "[Mid-tempo music playing]" "[Indistinct talking]" "Do you have any words for the" "Host?" "[Chuckles]" "Awesome party, Dylan." "This party sucks, babe." "Cut." "Cut." "Why would you say that?" "[Laughs]" "No, stop!" "[Laughing]" "Come on." "[Both laughing]" "[Piano music playing]" "[Inhales deeply]" "Want to go home with me?" "Come on, what are you doing?" "[Scoffs]" "I want to go home." "Sorry, d-didn't see you guys." "[Piano music continues]" "Yo, what up, long island?" "Make some noise tonight in here!" "We're having fun!" "[Up-tempo music playing]" "My man Dylan paid a lot to have" "Me here tonight." "Well, make some noise for the" "Host with the most, my man Dylan" "Himself!" "[Cheers and applause]" "Thank you, thank you, thank" "You." "It was worth every single penny" "To have you here tonight, man." "Give it up for Dylan and his" "Mom, ladies and gentlemen!" "[Cheers and applause]" "Whoo!" "[Up-tempo music continues]" "Show me what you got, ithaca." "Mnh-mnh." "No, no, I'm not a dancer." "[Chuckles]" "Did you bring me pot?" "Did I bring you what?" "Pot!" "No." "Come on." "Oh!" "This is such a waste!" "I mean, whoever threw this" "Party has no taste." "You're funny, Dylan." "Dylan Carson." "Oh." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "I-I-i didn't..." "I..." "Sorry." "To think that you two share" "The same gene pool." "[Up-tempo music continues]" "How do you know that we're" "Related?" "Dylan." "Dylan." "There's some important people I" "Want you to meet." "Tuck your shirt in." "Yes, mother." "[Up-tempo music continues]" "Thank you." "Hey!" "Yo!" "What's going on, man?" "You have amazing shit!" "Thank you." "Taste it." "[Cheers and applause]" "Whoo!" "[Up-tempo music continues]" "[Cheers and applause]" "[Up-tempo music continues]" "Hey!" "[Laughs]" "Okay, now." "I'm sorry." "Just trying to get us out of" "This." "Well, that was awesome, man." "Oh, my God, the music was so" "Good." "You shouldn't be wearing" "Those heels, babe." "[Snoring]" "Should we draw on her face?" "No." "[Snoring continues]" "She has a summer job in the" "Morning... how annoying." "[Snoring continues]" "She has a perfect body." "Ew!" "You're such a perv." "I-I'm not a perv." "[Chuckles softly]" "I'm a beauty enthusiast." "And a drug dealer." "[Chuckles] Yeah." "Ah, that's why I'm not in school" "This semester." "[Blows]" "But somehow, my dad managed" "To keep me from getting" "Expelled." "[Sighs]" "[Sighs]" "M-my heart's beating really" "Fast." "In a good way?" "No." "[Sighs]" "[Sighing] Oh, my God." "I think I'm having a heart" "Attack." "[Chuckles]" "No, it's not funny." "Don't laugh at me." "[Laughs]" "I'm not laughing at you." "You're just bugging out a little" "Bit." "You're fine." "Hey..." "Relax." "Lay down, breathe." "You'll be good in like 10" "Minutes." "I never smoked pot before." "Seriously?" "Wow." "I'm having a reaction." "You're okay." "Just breathe." "[Sighs]" "Don't act so cool." "I remember you were a geek." "[Chuckles softly]" "Yeah, I remember." "And you used to have grandpa's" "Magnifying glass." "And you used to call yourself..." "Both:" "Sherlock Holmes." "Yeah. [Chuckles softly]" "I remember." "You know, my therapist said that" "Was a defense mechanism." "All the clues and trying to" "Figure stuff out." "'Cause my parents are so messed" "Up." "[Sniffs]" "[Both laugh]" "[Birds chirping]" "[Snoring softly]" "[Chirping continues]" "Sorry to hear about your" "Grandfather." "Thanks, man." "Am I sitting in your spot or" "Something?" "[Laughs]" "It's a public park." "That's not the point." "So?" "The point is, why did you" "Think my party was such a waste?" "I, uh..." "I don't know." "I just..." "I've never really been" "To a party like that before." "Resentment is not superior to" "Earning money." "Yeah, I guess you're right." "You're interesting." "I want to take you somewhere." "Not now." "Right now." "Um, i..." "I'm sorry." "Are you trying to invite me" "Somewhere?" "Is that what that is?" "This is fantastic." "Hey, I got something for you." "[Sighs]" "Thanks." "[Door closes]" "Mind if I take a picture of you?" "Yeah, sure." "So, tell me about your" "Cousin." "Do you think Todd makes her" "Happy?" "[Sighs] I don't know." "I don't think Kate has a lot to" "Complain about." "Girls like Kate, they always" "Want something better." "[Chuckles]" "Guy like you could have any girl" "He wants." "No, I'm talking about Kate." "Fisher, help me win her heart." "I'm not ask you to sell me weed." "S... what?" "How do you..." "I also know that you want to" "Get transferred to a certain" "School out here." "My stepfather happens to be a" "Trustee." "I can get you an interview there" "If you want." "I'm not gonna be here for" "Very long, so, I-i..." "I can change that." "But I need your help." "Look, I-i think we should" "Probably head back to shore." "Yeah." "[Chuckles]" "[Engine turns over]" "[Engine revving]" "[Birds chirping]" "[Indistinct talking]" "[Chirping continues]" "Another round for team" "Kazanoff." "Watch your game, flinches." "Dad, stop." "Seriously, come on." "Let's go check out this" "Property in sands point I think" "You can flip." "Then if your son's lucky, he'll" "Cruise town in my new Aston for" "Young tail." "Matt." "Maybe grab beluga steak." "Must be annoying not to have" "A place to let it rip, Jack." "You think I worry about a" "Speeding ticket at this point in" "My life?" "Is this the guy?" "Yeah." "Listen, school's starting," "And we need... we need a lot." "I can do that." "Hurry up, Matt, or we'll" "Ditch you!" "[Sighs]" "[Sniffs deeply]" "I can work with that." "Bring him by the pad sometime," "Goodman." "All right." "You know who his dad is, right?" "You want to." "He knows everyone in the city." "Just leave your bike." "[Indistinct talking]" "[Laughs]" "Stop doing that." "Look what I got for you," "Baby." "Oh, oh." "[Chuckles]" "How about that back table?" "Um, that's reserved for" "Dylan Carson." "For Carson?" "Mm-hmm." "Me and fish were at his" "Labor day event." "Why didn't you take me?" "I had to take my boyfriend." "Todd, you know, for someone" "Who's not gay, you sure say a" "Lot of homoerotic things." "[Giggles]" "Shut up." "I like him." "[Laughs]" "Yeah, he's great." "Um, please." "[Laughs]" "You give Carson a table and" "Put me here?" "Sorry, Todd." "We'll make it up to you." "Stay for dessert." "[Laughs]" "Wow." "How's everything over here?" "Dude, she fucks like you" "Think a Latin chick would fuck." "[Sighs]" "But don't tell Kate, all right?" "It's just between us." "Yeah." "Watch it, dick." "[Laughs]" "Hey, Jody." "Hey, ithaca." "[Laughs]" "So, do you think he'll show?" "[Scoffs] Please." "Fish, just say you like to get" "Baked and make some quick cash." "Having something people want..." "Best way to make friends." "I'm not a drug dealer," "Though." "I just like hooking people up." "[Sighs]" "[Up-tempo music playing]" "Talking about hooking people" "Up, have you thought about what" "We discussed?" "Yeah." "I'm cool with all of it, but you" "Got to promise me something." "Okay." "You can't hurt her." "Of course." "[Birds chirping]" "Hey." "What's going on, guys?" "Didn't know you two were" "Friends." "Yeah, of course we're good" "Friends." "Yeah, we're friends." "[Chuckles]" "What are you doing here," "Dylan?" "Uh, I came to see you." "Fisher here said he was" "Preparing to shot you two" "Beautiful ladies." "Can you help me with my" "Camera stuff?" "[Chirping continues]" "Uh, um..." "D-did you have a good time at my" "Party?" "Yeah." "Your house is beautiful." "You're beautiful." "Dylan." "The hell are you doing?" "I'm not doing anything." "You, uh, you want to go" "Inside?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Need help?" "I'm so blazed." "[Sighs]" "Your pot is so good." "Uh, what do you think he sees" "In her?" "I don't know." "They have history." "Hey, Kate..." "Um..." "Do you remember that, uh," "Thanksgiving when, um..." "We were biking and I fell off" "And you played nurse for like" "Two hours?" "[Both laugh]" "Yes." "I've just been thinking about" "That a lot." "Oh, I'm so excited for this" "Photo shoot." "That looks pretty good." "Thanks." "You're insane." "I've kind of missed you." "I missed you, too." "Should we leave them" "Downstairs for a while?" "I'm really not sure who this" "Guy is." "His mom married some" "Investment-banker guy," "Andrew Carson." "Goes from Dylan nobody to" "Dylan Carson." "[Laughs] This is good." "[Laughs]" "This is exactly..." "[Squealing]" "[Laughs]" "Oh!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Hey, look at me." "Come on." "I can't hear you." "Look at me, look at me." "Yeah." "[Camera shutter clicks]" "Don't smile." "More intense." "Um, just play with the water a" "Little." "Yeah, exactly." "Take in the fountain." "That's good." "Enjoy it." "Just sit down on the bench." "Okay." "Just keep giving me that" "Gold." "That gold." "Okay, it feels a little static." "Jody, you look beautiful." "Um..." "Why don't you get in this?" "All right." "Liven them up." "Okay, this looks a bit like a" "Family portrait... a little" "Awkward." "Come around, come around." "Sit in between them on the" "Bench." "Put your sunglasses on." "Look out." "You're... you're king, right?" "This is your house." "Fuck, you look so good." "Holy fuck." "He didn't live like that when we" "Dated." "Dylan is so mysterious." "Yeah, he's a pretty eccentric" "Kid." "So are you." "Shh!" "Fisher." "Gotcha!" "No?" "[Laughs]" "You ran in here." "I heard you." "Shut up." "Are these from today?" "Yeah." "Is that Carson's house?" "You look bloated." "[Gasps]" "Asshole!" "All right, I need your" "Fashion advice." "My mom's a mess." "What do you think?" "Turn." "Mm-hmm." "You look like your dad." "So do you, faggot." "Todd." "I'm kidding." "What do... unbuttoned or" "Buttoned?" "Uh, top unbuttoned." "Yeah?" "Very handsome." "Would you buy a house from" "Me?" "Yes." "Really?" "Yes." "Come on, flinches, we got a" "Meeting!" "Shit, that's my dad." "God, check that pimple." "Follow me." "Love you." "[Laughs] Love you, babe." "[Birds chirping]" "So, my friends are very, very" "Happy." "I want you to make it a full" "Ounce next time." "Okay." "Hello, handsome." "Hey, bunny." "Hey, dad, can I drive?" "I don't know." "Can you?" "[Laughing] Yeah." "Sure." "When you can afford an" "Aston Martin..." "You work your whole lifetime" "For." "Hmm." "Yeah." "Come on, hop in." "Yeah." "See you, fisher." "See you." "Your mom called." "She's excited for her wedding." "You should call her back." "[Engine turns over, revs]" "I hear you have grass." "Uh..." "Relax." "Phil's not home." "Come on." "[Sniffs, coughing]" "[Blows]" "You ever go swimming in this" "Pool?" "[Birds chirping]" "No." "No one ever does." "[Blows]" "You should try it." "It's really nice." "How long have you been" "Smoking weed?" "Um, oh, for a while." "Beginning or middle of high" "School." "That's not a while, kid." "[Chuckles]" "Do you ever wake and bake?" "I used to love getting stoned in" "The morning." "Yeah, occasionally." "[Blows]" "Your parents know you smoke?" "They know I smoke." "I know they smoke. [Chuckles]" "We never talk about it, though." "I think my mom really likes" "Smoking." "Mm." "My dad probably just got" "Stoned so he could have sex with" "A woman." "[Chuckles]" "[Laughs]" "Oh." "Fisher, I'm sorry." "God." "I used to love getting stoned" "With your mom." "[Chuckles]" "Thought you two hated each" "Other." "Oh, we do but not always." "[Blows]" "We went to Cornell together." "[Blows]" "We used to party." "[Blows]" "Does Kate smoke pot?" "[Chuckles] No." "Definitely not." "I don't think so. [Blows]" "She's pretty involved with her" "Boyfriends." "[Sniffs] I understand that." "[Sighs]" "Oh, great!" "Great." "What?" "Funny, darling." "Did you see the credit-card bill" "This month?" "We need to talk about Mary's" "Salary, and when you sober up..." "Phil, let's not do this right" "Now." "[Sighs]" "Must be nice..." "Not having a job." "[Clears throat] I'm sorry." "What did you say?" "Are we gonna have this" "Conversation again?" "Who made this house?" "Who keeps this house nice for" "You 365 days of the year?" "You don't think that's work?" "I'm sorry, fisher." "I'm sorry." "That's okay." "It's that promise that's" "Always set this country apart," "That through hard work and" "Sacrifice, each of us can" "Pursue our individual dreams" "But still come together as one" "American family to ensure..." "Who cares?" "That the next generation" "Can pursue their dreams, as" "Well." "That's why I stand here" "Tonight..." "[Chuckles]" "Because for 232 years at" "Each moment when that" "Promise..." "Give me Dylan Carson." "[Chuckles]" "Students and soldiers," "Farmers and teachers," "Nurses and janitors..." "You're, uh, practically" "Naked." "[Chuckles]" "Does that make you" "Uncomfortable?" "We meet at one of those" "Defining moments..." "I wonder what Kate's doing" "Now, do you think she's blown" "Him yet?" "Our economy is in" "Turmoil..." "She blew Todd on their first" "Date." "That's my little cousin." "Tonight, more Americans..." "Do you think that I should" "Blow you yet?" "More of you have lost your" "Homes, and even more are" "Watching your home values" "Plummet." "More of you have cars you can't" "Afford to drive, credit cards," "Bills you can't afford to pay," "And tuition that's beyond your" "Reach." "[Thud]" "Shit." "Jesus fucking..." "[Laughing]" "These challenges are not all" "Of the government's making." "Oh, my God." "It's not fucking funny, all" "Right?" "!" "Just go jerk off on your" "Cousin's bed, you fucking freak!" "Shit." "Of the broken politics in" "Washington..." "[Sighs]" "[Door slams]" "And the failed policies of" "George w..." "Can I just compliment you on" "Your product?" "It makes me go blind." "Yeah, it's really fresh." "It's, uh, from upstate New York," "Where I'm from." "[Sniffs]" "[Sighs] Boys." "Pack it up again." "We've got to get some pussy" "Here." "I got a good stripper friend" "We could call if you want." "Goodman!" "You got a guest!" "Is he all right?" "Oh, yeah, he's good." "You sure?" "[Laughs]" "Okay." "Now he will be... again." "[Laughs]" "Eh." "It's not bad." "Here, add to it." "No, I'm good." "Add to it." "I'm okay." "Add to it." "Okay." "Boys, here, man." "We're throwing a big bash" "Here next week, fisher." "[Laughter]" "Bring more weed." "[Laughter]" "[Laughing] I'm gonna be" "Pissed at you now!" "[Laughter]" "[Bell chimes]" "Camera's broken." "They can't fix it." "Well, tell me you didn't lose" "My head shots." "No, I didn't lose your head" "Shots." "They were able to retrieve the" "Roll." "[Sighs]" "You're welcome, Kate." "I look amazing in these." "Yeah, you do, but you" "Overshadow Jody." "We need to find fish a new" "Bitch." "No, every stupid college girl" "Is gonna want a piece of your" "Cousin with something green to" "Offer them." "Yeah, speaking of college," "You really need to set up that" "Interview." "What's interview?" "You don't need a college" "Degree to make your first" "Million, fisher." "Eh, you still got a leg up" "With a college degree." "That is just your dad" "Talking." "Excuse me, miss?" "Yes, Mr. Carson?" "Uh, come sit down here a" "Second." "My, uh, my cousin here has" "Something to say to you." "Uh, yeah, he has a present" "For you, actually." "Don't you, fisher?" "Uh, yeah, right." "How could I forget?" "[Chuckles]" "[Chuckles]" "Oh. [Chuckles]" "I remember you." "Yeah." "Yeah, she, uh, she was really" "Bummed that you didn't invite" "Her to the, uh, labor day party." "Yeah, I hear you have a" "Beautiful, beautiful home," "Mr. Carson." "[Chuckles]" "Yeah, yeah, I do." "Guess whose birthday we're" "Celebrating tonight?" "Really?" "Ooh!" "Feliz cumpleaños!" "[Smooch]" "Yeah, thank you." "[Chuckles]" "[Chuckles]" "I actually speak a little" "Spanish." "You do?" "I don't think you do." "What my cute cousin here is" "Trying to say is that he would" "Love for you to be his special" "Guest tonight back in" "Kings point at our mansion." "Ah!" "Now, that is what they call a 10-out-of-10 olympic dive." "4 out of 10?" "4 out of 10." "Well, I want to get a 10." "10 out of 10." "Well, more like 100 out of 10." "That's better." "Basically." "[Cicadas chirping]" "[Chuckles]" "Is it, like..." "Really your birthday?" "[Chuckles]" "Feels like my birthday." "[Chuckles]" "[Cicadas chirping]" "[Chuckles]" "How does that feel, huh?" "[Chuckles]" "[Laughs]" "Stop looking!" "[Laughs]" "[Speaking Spanish]" "Muy, muy, muy, muy privilegiada." "I have no idea what that" "Means." "[Chuckles]" "It means..." "You live a charmed life," "Fisher..." "Carson." "[Chirping continues]" "Wake up!" "Fisher, wake up!" "I left you some gifts on the" "Table." "Meet me outside." "[Birds chirping in distance]" "So, did you have fun last" "Night?" "Yeah." "[Birds chirping]" "Oh, shit." "Wow." "All right, for that, get in" "Goal." "Where?" "Yeah, right there." "Trees." "That was awful." "[Laughs]" "[Chirping continues]" "All right, fisher, you're" "Going down." "Is that a joke?" "Warm-up?" "No, it's not a warming up." "Is that really the best you got?" "All right, you ready, fisher?" "Mm-hmm." "[Grunts]" "The ball sucks." "[Chuckles]" "It's not funny." "You're bringing me down to your" "Level." "You can see it's a French" "Style." "Ah." "Really quite unique and" "Beautiful." "The property has 18 perfectly" "Manicured acres." "Yeah, 18 acres." "[Speaking foreign language]" "Who let you in?" "!" "I have the gate code." "[Speaking foreign language]" "My dad's agency has the listing." "I'm showing Mr. and Mrs. abady" "Around." "Hey, how are you?" "I'd like to meet your dad." "Uh, if we like what we see, uh," "You tell him we make good deal." "We pay all in cash." "This house is not for sale." "Uh..." "Like it or not, this house is" "Going up for sale, Dylan, and" "It's gonna do quick, so why" "Don't you go back in the garden" "And play with your boyfriend" "While we look around?" "There's lots of rumors going" "About." "There's one in particular about" "Your cokehead son, Navid." "[Speaks foreign language]" "What is he talking about?" "[Indistinct talking]" "What they talking about?" "Excuse me." "I-I would like to speak to your" "Father right away... right away." "Abs... yes, absolutely." "I'm sorry." "Yes." "Watch your mouth." "Be nice to the natives." "[Indistinct talking]" "He's just a child." "Hey." "[Talking continues]" "What's going on?" "Is your family moving again?" "I made love to Kate last" "Night." "She loves me." "[Mid-tempo music playing]" "So, you want to practice" "Parallel parking here?" "[Scoffs] No." "Not a fan." "Well, you need it to pass" "Your test." "No, I'm not gonna spend the" "Last day before school starts" "Learning." "Check it." "I could work with that." "[Chuckles]" "But we are not smoking in" "Your dad's car." "[Music stops]" "Okay, we'll smoke outside..." "Doesn't matter." "All right." "[Door ajar beeps]" "Details." "No." "Why?" "!" "I set that shit up!" "I deserve to know!" "I don't kiss and tell." "You kissed her?" "Yeah, you're very intuitive." "You're such an asshole." "You know that Todd was at," "Uh, Carson estate this morning," "Right?" "No." "Why?" "You can relax." "He doesn't know anything." "[Blows]" "Okay, well, why was he there?" "He was showing Navid and his" "Parents the estate." "Dylan's not moving." "He would've said something to" "Me." "[Coughs, chuckles]" "You're gonna laugh?" "Not funny." "What?" "I..." "look, Kate, I don't" "Understand." "Why are you so concerned about" "It?" "You're with both of them." "Like, w-what difference does it" "Make?" "Well, Todd didn't call me" "Last night." "He didn't text me this morning." "Oh, my God." "I'm checking my phone." "Okay." "[Blows]" "Want me to try?" "[Laughs]" "Like this?" "[Laughing]" "[Laughing continues]" "Eye on the ball." "[Sighs]" "Hold this drink." "Excuse me." "Enough." "[Clears throat]" "What are you up to, mister?" "That's Todd's dad." "What are you up to?" "Don't judge me, fisher." "I'm not judging you." "Really?" "Really." "You know what?" "News flash... fuck you." "I want you out of my house" "Tomorrow." "You want me out of your" "House?" "Mm-hmm." "Are you kidding me?" "Do I look like I'm kidding?" "Okay." "I think Kate would probably" "Really enjoy these pictures," "Don't you?" "Give me that." "Get the fuck off of me!" "Play with people your own" "Age." "Yeah, fuck you, bunny." "Fuck you." "Kate, let's get out of here!" "No, no, I-I'm driving." "You're not driving." "[Birds chirping]" "[Car doors close]" "Fisher." "My dad just fired Mary." "I've known her my whole life." "I know." "She used to work for grandma and" "Grandpa." "I'm really sorry." "It's pretty fucked up." "[Zipper whirs]" "Are you leaving?" "Your parents have been so" "Generous letting me stay here" "For so long." "I, uh..." "I'm not leaving town, though." "I'm just crashing at Dylan's." "Lucky you." "[Chuckles]" "Lucky me." "Probably gonna have to get a" "Part-time job soon." "Living in the city is gonna be" "Very expensive." "Will you do this for me?" "Uh-huh." "Can I ask you something?" "Yeah." "What if you don't get in?" "What do you do?" "[Sighs]" "Um..." "I don't know." "This is really difficult." "[Laughs]" "You just clip it." "I guess I'll..." "Probably get a job with your dad" "Or something in the finance" "Industry." "Mm." "Well..." "He could hook that up, right?" "You seriously can't clip it?" "[Door opens]" "I got it." "Good." "Hey." "[Sighs]" "Hello." "Hey, have you, um, talked to" "Your stepdad?" "'Cause that would be really" "Helpful." "Relax, I'm on it." "Dylan?" "You want to come up?" "[Sighs]" "Hurry up." "Uh [Chuckles softly] go throw" "Yourself in my car, and we'll" "Get you set up later." "[Keys jingle]" "[Footsteps pattering]" "[Keys jingle]" "[Laughs] * get down for me" "* I'll show you how to be * all * the people * gather around them * all" "I can't listen to this shit." "You know why you smoke so" "Much marijuana?" "It all comes down to what kind" "Of fish you are, fisher." "Yeah, you, my friend, you're" "Like a..." "You're like a dolphin." "See, you're way too smart for" "The world." "School's too slow, so you smoke" "Weed to slow yourself down, but" "What you need to do... you need" "To become a shark." "[Coughs]" "Like a fucking shark!" "Kate, watch... stop!" "[Tires screech]" "Oh, my God!" "Jesus Christ!" "Is everyone all right?" "Fuck!" "My eye!" "Are you all right?" "Shit." "No!" "Oh, my God, I'm bleeding!" "Let me see." "Oh, my!" "Oh, put this on it." "Keep pressure on it." "Fuck." "Fisher, call the police!" "Kate's hurt!" "Call the police!" "No, no, no, no, no!" "No, I don't have a license!" "No shit." "I know how to drive, okay?" "!" "[Sighs]" "I just didn't get permission." "Permission?" "Kate, it's a fucking" "Government-issued license!" "What are you talking..." "Do not yell at her!" "Put that out before I kick you" "Out!" "Now!" "All right, dude." "She just almost got us k..." "Kate, get over." "I'm gonna drive." "It's ridiculous." "She almost got us killed." "It's your fucking fault," "Fisher!" "Right." "No, it's not funny!" "I w... i wouldn't have been..." "I'm not laughing, okay?" "!" "Should've just been watching the" "Road." "You're gonna be all right." "I wouldn't have been" "Speeding!" "You got me stoned from" "Secondhand smoke!" "U.S. stocks could open lower" "By 300 points." "This is all because we're" "Waking up to two fewer" "Investment banks on" "Wall street." "Lehman brothers has filed for" "Bankruptcy, and" "Bank of America's taking over" "Merrill lynch in..." "[Sighs]" "[Sighs]" "With my husband on the" "Phone." "Well, what would you have me" "Tell him?" "Dylan?" "Fuck, like, what am I" "Supposed to tell him?" "Oh." "[Sighs]" "Our lawyers found a way, okay?" "[Cellphone ringing]" "Guys, I'm getting ready to" "Leave." "I want to get out of here." "[Ringing continues]" "[Sighs]" "Hello?" "I've been trying to get ahold" "Of you for days." "Yeah, I-i-i know." "I'm sorry." "What... what's up?" "Phil told me about the" "Accident." "Is Kate all right?" "She's fine." "How's great neck?" "Um, yeah, it's, uh..." "It's actually pretty nice." "Huh." "Have you heard any news about" "The application?" "Uh, no." "I wanted to remind you about" "Your mom's wedding coming up." "Look, I-i-i don't know how" "Many times I'm gonna have to say" "This." "It's not my wedding." "I'm not going." "It's not about you." "[Sighs] Look, I-i know." "Um, I'll think about it, okay?" "I got to go." "Bye." "Mr. Carson." "[Birds chirping]" "Hey." "Uncle Phil." "Hey." "So, Katherine has 18 stitches" "Above her eye." "And you were smoking pot while" "You were driving!" "Fisher..." "What are you thinking?" "!" "W-what happened to" "Responsibility?" "!" "I don't know." "You don't know?" "!" "I'm sorry, okay?" "I'm sorry." "I know I messed up, and I'm" "Sorry." "She's not gonna go to the" "First week of school." "Fisher..." "Why aren't you at work?" "[Chirping continues]" "Your aunt bunny and I are" "Gonna..." "Have a separation." "You know, i..." "I do everything I can to make" "Her happy." "Be living in a..." "Guest room." "I'm..." "[Sighs]" "I'm sorry. [Sighs]" "No, no, it's fine." "I'm sorry." "Do you know how much a div..." "Can you imagine?" "!" "Can you imagine me with a" "Divorce?" "!" "You know how much money we're" "Talking about?" "!" "It's 50% in this state... boom!" "It's 30% for Katherine!" "It's 50% of my pension gone!" "There's health benefits!" "There's everything!" "I'm gonna have nothing!" "I-I'm watching my portfolio" "Dribble down!" "[Horn honks in distance]" "Just d-don't tell your father." "Okay?" "You do me a favor, and... you" "Know, I got a lot of money tied" "Up in the market, and it's..." "It's all I got right now, and I" "Don't need to hear his bullshit." "You got it." "You know, the "told you so."" "I understand." "I won't say anything." "Okay?" "Yeah." "And you know what?" "You be what you want to be." "You want to be... you want... i" "Don't... you want to be a" "Gardener?" "You be a gardener." "You want to be a-a photographer," "You be a photographer." "You take the best pictures in" "The world!" "Okay, you enjoy it!" "There's no guarantees in life!" "This week's assignment" "Explores photography and" "Politics." "In this year's historic" "Presidential race, a single" "Image can sway public opinion or" "Bring about change." "These generations try to change" "The world." "Did they succeed?" "All right, that's it for today." "Emma, pick up everyone's" "Assignments." "Fisher, I'd like a word." "Thank you for letting me sit" "In on the class." "I really enjoyed it." "Your work with 35 is great." "Thanks." "Honest, raw." "I like it." "So, uh, you think maybe you" "Could put in that good word" "Then?" "[Chuckles]" "I already have." "I can't speak for admissions," "But I am rooting for you," "Mr. Miller." "[Chuckles softly]" "Thanks." "[Birds chirping]" "We don't want!" "Your blood money!" "We don't need!" "Your blood money!" "We don't need!" "Your blood money!" "No blood for oil!" "Your blood money!" "We don't want!" "Your blood money!" "We don't need!" "Your blood money!" "We don't need!" "Your blood money!" "[Up-tempo music playing]" "[Indistinct talking] * you walk with me when I'm" "Burning bright *" "What?" "* you're with me in the" "That's amazing." "That's amazing?" "Yeah." "* and you see me when I'm" "Look at the chandelier." "Oh, you like that chandelier?" "Yeah, it's pretty nice." "[Laughs]" "You should see the one in the" "Dining room." "It's even bigger." "Yeah, we should get you" "Something maybe a little bigger." "I could totally get used to" "This." "You like that?" "Yeah, bigger's always better." "Hey." "This is America." "Hey, what are you doing here?" "What are you talking about?" "The only reason you're here" "Is because of me." "Kate." "What... what's going on?" "Fucking back off," "Housekeeper!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Hey, you two." "Can you keep her under control?" "Hey does this bitch work with" "You, Jody?" "Sorry." "My cousin's had a bit too much" "To drink." "No!" "Hey." "Unh-unh." "No, I haven't." "Okay, so they're both your" "Cousins?" "You rich people do some really" "Kinky shit." "[Chuckles]" "You're fucking desperate." "For what?" "For what?" "Dylan." "For what?" "Yeah." "Did you think he was gonna" "Help you get a green card?" "Don't touch me!" "Whoa, whoa." "Don't... okay." "Fucking bitch!" "Are you just gonna let her" "Talk to me like that?" "I don't know what you want" "From me here, okay?" "This is my cousin." "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Okay?" "You're gonna let her slap me" "In the face?" "!" "You're gonna let..." "Okay, can you..." "Let her hit me?" "I don't even know what I'm" "Doing here." "What are you talking..." "You're right!" "Leave!" "Kate, all right, it's enough!" "You're a child." "I don't even care about you." "I'm a child." "I don't even care about you." "That's great!" "Fine!" "Then I'll see you later!" "No, you won't see her later!" "Shut up!" "Okay?" "!" "It's en..." "I don't... i don't want to see" "You right now." "Come on, let's go to my room," "Kate." "All right?" "[Sighs]" "Stop, Dylan." "Navid, take us home now." "Now!" "Wait!" "Hold on!" "The party isn't over." "Navid!" "No, Kate!" "Kate, please, wait!" "What?" "!" "What do you want from me?" "!" "I want everyone to have a" "Good time, especially you." "I'm having a great time," "Dylan." "Shut the fuck up, and stop" "Whining." "Maybe Kate wouldn't even care if" "She knew your daddy warbucks was" "Going to prison." "You weren't gonna tell her?" "My family mistakenly invested in" "Your dad's bullshit." "You got two seconds to get" "The thing around your neck and" "Yourself out of my house." "I'll see you later." "Get out." "Don't fucking cry, by the" "Way." "Get out!" "I'm leaving." "Turn this song off!" "It sucks!" "Fisher, turn this song off!" "[Dance music plays]" "These are not normal" "Circumstances." "The market is not functioning" "Properly." "Where's the recycling?" "There's been a widespread" "Loss of confidence, and major" "Sectors of America's financial" "System are at risk of shutting" "Down." "The government's top" "Economic..." "Dylan?" "Warn that, without" "Immediate action by congress," "Amer..." "[TV turns off]" "Isn't it funny that the" "Federal government, which is" "Technically bankrupt," "Administers the bankruptcy laws?" "Yeah." "You're very enlightened." "You sound like my dad." "Smart man." "I'm telling you... people are" "Gonna rise up like a bunch of" "Barbarians." "They're gonna pound on these" "Gates, looking for a piece of" "The pie." "They're not gonna get it." "That's what you need to" "Photograph." "[Sighs]" "What do people say about me" "Behind my back?" "About you?" "Nothing." "Everyone likes you." "[Sighs]" "Oh, by the way, my, uh... my" "Stepfather said he'll meet you" "Friday morning." "All right?" "Don't mess it up." "[TV turns on]" "Sorry." "Can we do another one?" "You ready?" "Awesome party, Dylan." "I can't wait for senior year." "All right." "You got it." "That was great." "Let's go." "Lock it up." "You're embarrassing yourself." "Wait for senior year." "All right." "You got it." "That was great." "Let's go." "I can't wait for senior year." "All right." "Dylan." "I can't wait for senior year." "[Jazz music plays]" "[Rap music plays in distance]" "Put your bra back on." "You bring the weed?" "No?" "Yeah." "I, um..." "Party's full." "I wasn't able to get any pot." "Sorry." "[Girls giggling]" "Ladies." "Nice feather." "That'll be good on ecstasy." "[Giggling continues]" "Hey." "Hi, handsome." "Nice robe." "Hi." "[Snickers]" "Did he leave?" "He left." "[Chuckles]" "Yo, fish!" "He's just fucking with you," "Dude." "Time to meet Molly." "Take your pants off." "Let me see what you got there." "Come here." "Uh-huh." "Hey, drink up." "Yeah." "[Rap music continues]" "That's good." "[Indistinct conversations]" "[Laughter]" "Hey, man." "Here." "I poured this for you." "[Spits]" "[Laughter]" "The fuck is this?" "It's piss!" "[Laughing] It's my pee." "Fucking even, bitch." "I got it." "I got it for you." "Don't worry, fisher." "I got it." "Okay?" "Don't worry." "You got it, right?" "I got it." "How was it?" "[Rap music plays]" "[Chuckles]" "[Groans]" "[Groans]" "[Chuckles]" "Do you ever go to class?" "What do we need school for?" "Man, you learn from every single" "Person you meet." "Mm." "You meet a stupid person..." "They teach you not to be stupid." "You, my friend... you taught me" "A very valuable lesson." "[Chuckles]" "What is that?" "Is that on the Internet?" "[Chuckles] Yeah." "Ohh." "Let me..." "let me see that." "My reputation's ruined." "[Chuckles] What reputation?" "All right." "I'm kidding." "I'm kidding." "You know I think you're" "Talented." "I saw some of your pictures, by" "The way." "I sent them off to my stepdad." "He, uh... he really likes" "Photography." "You like that one?" "You like it?" "Why don't you ask to try it on?" "Hey, Kate." "What do you think about this" "Ring?" "[Chuckles]" "It's an engagement ring." "No, I know, but do you like" "It?" "Yeah." "I like it." "Uh, just find me another one..." "Bigger." "Hey." "What are you doing?" "Oh, relax." "You're living with him next" "Year." "W-what?" "Did he say that?" "Yeah." "Hey, fisher." "Shoot this." "The camera loves Kate, and I" "Love Kate." "[Chuckles] I love you, too." "I've always loved you." "And I want to spend the rest of" "My life taking care of you." "Will you marry me, Kate?" "Dylan, your mother call on" "Telephone." "She put freeze on her store" "Account." "Uh, um..." "Here." "[Chuckles]" "So, where do you want these?" "My room." "Honey, uh, we've got some bad" "News." "Jack had a heart attack." "My dad... he's dead." "Kate, who gave you that ring?" "It's nothing." "Goodness... so sorry." "It's okay." "[Sighs]" "[Sighs] I love you." "I love you, too." "Looking out into this audience," "It's quite clear how popular my" "Dad really was in our small" "Community." "[Sniffles]" "I know that he would have loved" "That you all are here for one" "Last party." "[Chuckles]" "Uh..." "Pathetic." "We love you, dad." "Tired of being around and" "Feeling sorry for me, okay?" "Hey, man." "Hey." "I'm so sorry." "Prick." "Is it too late to hit the" "Back nine?" "Sure." "Why don't you go stand in front" "Of the fucking driving range so" "I can knock your head off?" "I can't deal with this guy." "Todd, I'm sorry." "Please give my condolences to" "Your mother." "This course reminds me of" "St Andrews... just not as nice." "Remember dad used to take me" "To st Andrews every spring?" "He used to take me everywhere," "Man." "My old man and I go in" "November." "It's a flock of sea gulls, but" "I'll take birds over tourists" "Any day." "It's closed in November every" "Year for remodeling." "You suddenly seem motivated." "I like that." "Perhaps let's play a game right" "Now." "Happily, dude." "He was kidding." "Be careful of the wind, Todd!" "Isn't my first time, dude!" "[Sighs] Here, Jody." "Hey." "Listen." "Please don't do this." "Hold these." "I love you." "[Smooches]" "Onward." "Good luck!" "Don't choke!" "No problem." "You're full of confidence," "Goodman." "Yep." "Let's up the ante... a wager." "Or do you not want to piss away" "Your daddy's inheritance?" "What did you just say?" "You know exactly what I said." "I said, "does your daddy not"" "Want you to piss away his" ""Inheritance?"" "Watch your mouth." "What are you gonna do about" "It?" "Stop it!" "[Both grunting]" "Hey!" "Leave them alone!" "Jesus!" "Dylan!" "Stop!" "Both of you..." "Todd!" "Let them fight over you!" "Fuck." "[Grunts]" "Jesus Christ." "Fisher, do something!" "Guys, stop it!" "Get off of me!" "You think I feel threatened by" "Your little, juvenile," "Fairy-tale fascination with my" "Girlfriend?" "It's real, Todd!" "That's what you can't get!" "It's real!" "Right, Kate?" "!" "Tell him!" "Let's go, Kate." "Kate!" "Tell him!" "Kate, come on!" "Kate, get in!" "Kate!" "I'm leaving, fish." "Fisher!" "It's been less than 72 hours" "Since we listened to the" "Chairman of the federal reserve" "Tell us that we were only a" "Matter of perhaps days from the" "Beginning of a major economic" "Collapse, the free fall of our" "Financial markets, and the" "Beginnings of a severe and" "Protracted recession..." "Shocking." "That could cost businesses" "Going out of business..." "You think this is funny?" "Savings being wiped out." "This is a joke?" "You think I fucked up?" "You think I made this happen?" "Everybody fucked up." "[Sighs]" "So, the sense of urg..." "[TV turns off]" "These are the fucking" "Smartest guys in the room..." "Fucking Goldman sachs and" "Lehman brothers, bear stearns," "Merrill lynch." "The only fucking difference is" "They get a golden parachute!" "Your Uncle got shit!" "The couch you're on, the fucking" "Lamp, the table... all this crap" "Is gone!" "It's gone!" "All this accoutrement, all the" "Beauty is fucking gone!" "Do you fucking understand what's" "Going on?" "!" "There's no fucking money in this" "Family!" "You're not mooching off of me!" "I haven't got a fucking dime!" "We're done!" "We're fucking done, okay?" "!" "The bank owns it all!" "[Door opens]" "[Laughing]" "You're so bad." "What are you doing?" "[Chuckles]" "Hey, whoa... hold... wait," "What's... what is this?" "You're drunk?" "You went to a funeral, and you" "Drank?" "Are you kidding me?" "Are you..." "Katherine, go upstairs." "Go upstairs." "Come over here, bunny." "You'd better talk to me." "Here's a fucking toast to your" "Fucking Jack!" "May his fucking rotting corpse" "Rest in fucking peace!" "Are... are you done?" "Are you done here?" "Jesus Christ." "I want you and you out of my" "Fucking house!" "Ha!" "That's a fucking joke!" "Out of your fucking house?" "!" "You got our daughter drunk!" "You got my daughter drunk!" "You got my nephew stoned!" "Oh, she's your daughter now?" "She's your daughter?" "When she's a problem, she's my" "Daughter, but now she's your" "Daughter?" "I didn't get her drunk." "She got drunk all by herself." "You got no fucking" "Responsibility!" "I am so sick of looking at" "Your face." "I'm sick of yours, baby!" "I'm done!" "I want a fucking divorce!" "Well, you fucking got it!" "I want you out of my fucking" "House!" "Okay?" "You do shit!" "You're gonna have to get a" "Fucking job!" "You're gonna get your shit out" "Of m fucking house!" "[Door slams]" "Is Kate okay?" "Did Todd hurt her?" "Dylan?" "What are you doing here, man?" "Is she all right?" "I swear to God, if Todd..." "She's all right." "She's okay, man." "It's just not a good time for" "You to be here right now, all" "Right?" "I'm sorry." "I know you're upset." "Everybody's upset." "Stop." "You really think you need" "This?" "Stop." "You really think this is" "Important to you?" "You think that she is worth all" "This?" "Stop, fisher." "No, listen to me, okay?" "You're better than her." "You don't need her." "Stop." "I'm not gonna stop." "You need to go home, okay?" "I don't have a home." "Don't have a fucking family." "No." "My head." "Oh, my God, it's like it's about" "To explode." "I can see a little fucking train" "Running through it just fucking" "Kicking my head." "[Inhales, exhales shakily]" "Kate." "Kate." "No." "Kate." "I need Kate." "You don't." "Kate." "No, just come on." "Just go." "Fisher, stop." "I need Kate!" "Dylan." "Kate!" "Kate?" "Kate, I can fix this!" "Kate, I know you can hear me!" "Please?" "Kate?" "Please?" "I'll give you everything..." "Anything you want!" "Kate!" "[Voice breaking] Kate." "Please..." "Fisher, stop." "[Sobs]" "Kate, I'm the one for you." "Kate!" "Fuck." "Fuck!" "Dylan." "Fuck!" "Just open the door, bunny!" "I can't do it anymore!" "[Indistinct muffled shouting]" "I'm happy!" "You're happy!" "Just listen to me for five" "Minutes!" "Let me talk to you!" "[Shouting continues]" "Sorry about your stash." "Todd will pay you back." "Don't... don't worry about" "It." "[Sighs]" "What's up?" "You know, I'm not the selfish" "Girl that you're making me out" "To be." "Open the door!" "[Shouting continues]" "Why didn't you come to" "Grandpa's funeral?" "[Sighs]" "I don't know." "I can't do this anymore!" "[Pounding on door]" "Open the fucking door!" "Please?" "!" "You think you and I will be" "Better parents?" "[Shouting continues]" "You know, my folks weren't" "That bad, actually." "[Sighs]" "I think we'd make the best..." "Couple if we weren't related." "[Shouting continues]" "[Smooches]" "It's gonna be okay, Kate." "[Sighs]" "[Sobbing]" ""'Who is like unto me, ' said"" "The cub at the pride of his" "Earliest kill." "The jungle is large, and the cub" "Is small." ""Let him think and be still."" "Do you hunt, Mr. Miller?" "No." "Well, you ought to." "That quote was baloo teaching" "Mowgli the law of the jungle." "It's a jungle out there, mowgli." "You know, I can't speak for" "My entire generation, but..." "What's the point of making all" "Of this money if you can't" "Connect with the people that you" "Love?" "You really should take up" "Hunting." "Yes, you've reached" "Dylan Carson, and, yes, I'm" "Having a lot more fun than you" "Right now, so you just leave a" "Message." "[Thunder rumbles]" "[Thunder crashes]" "[Door closes]" "Dylan?" "Dylan?" "[Sighs]" "[Thunder crashes]" "Dylan!" "Hello?" "!" "[Rain pattering]" "Shit!" "Dylan!" "Dylan!" "[Voice breaking] Jesus." "Oh, my God." "[Sobbing]" "God fucking damn it!" "We're probably gonna have to" "Ask you some more questions," "Son." "So, where were his parents in" "All this... his other friends?" "I don't know." "[Sighs]" "Knowing Dylan, would you" "Classify this as an accident or" "A suicide?" "It was an accident." "Here." "Thanks." "Shake it." "We use the four elements..." "The earth..." "All:" "The earth." "The wind..." "All:" "The wind." "The rain..." "All:" "The rain." "The fire..." "All:" "The fire." "To provide a sacredness to" "Their vows, to honor the God" "Above us, the God below us, and" "The God within us." "Who has the rings?" "I do." "I now pronounce you husband" "And wife." "You may kiss." "[Cheers and applause]" "I hope our ceremony will be" "More traditional." "What about you, fisher?" "Get in here." "Come on." "Yeah, fisher." "Come on." "Okay." "Excuse me?" "Oh, yeah?" "Would you mind, uh, taking a" "Picture of us?" "Sure." "Sure." "Hold this, please." "Just hit this button right" "Here." "Okay." "You got it." "[Sighs]" "Congratulations, all." "Thanks." "Thanks." "Everyone, smile." "Ah, beautiful." "Beautiful family." "[Chuckles]" "Wait." "One more." "Everyone, just keep that smile." "[Fun.'S "carry on" plays]" "* if you're lost and alone," "Or you're sinking like a stone * * carry o-o-o-n * may your past be the sound" "Of your feet upon the ground * * carry o-o-o-n * carry on, carry on" "* so I met up with some friends" "At the edge of the night" "At a bar off 75 * * and we talked and talked" "About how our parents will die * * all our neighbors and wives * but I'd like to think" "I can cheat it all * * to make up for the times" "I've been cheated on * * and it's nice to know," "When I was left for dead," "I was found, and now" "I don't roam the streets *" "* I am not the ghost" "You want of me * * if you're lost and alone," "Or you're sinking like a stone * * carry o-o-o-n * may your past be the sound" "Of your feet upon the ground * * carry o-o-o-n" "* whoa-a-a-a * my head is on fire," "But my legs are fine * * after all, they are mine * lay your clothes" "Down on the floor * * close the door * hold the phones * show me how no one's" "Ever gonna stop us tonight *" "* because we are," "We are shining stars * * we are invincible * we are who we are * on our darkest day," "When we're Miles away * * so we will come * we will find our way home * if you're lost and alone," "Or you're sinking like a stone * * carry o-o-o-n * may your past be the sound" "Of your feet upon the ground * * carry o-o-o-n * oh, oh, oh, oh, oh * oh, whoa, whoa * whoa, oh * whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa * whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh" "* no one's ever gonna" "Stop us now *" "* no one's ever," "No one's ever... *" "[Soft piano music plays]" "* ode to the beautiful," "Desperate days * * to the beauty borne" "Of ash and flame * * where truth and hope" "Rise again * * no way to know" "That where we are now" "Is where we should be * * no way to know" "If the things that were done" "Were done willingly * * but when the truth" "Becomes a lie," "And the rays of your hope" "Has flickered and died * * these are the times" "When you might sing * * an ode to those beautiful," "Desperate days * * to a beauty borne" "Of ash and flame * * where the truth and hope" "Rise again * * oh, those beautiful," "Desperate days * * all the beauty borne" "Of ash and flame * * where truth and hope" "Rise again * * when you overcome doubt * when you overcome fear * on this you can count * that's it's owed" "To those beautiful," "Beautiful days * * to the beauty borne" "Of ash and flame * * where truth and hope" "Rise again * * all those beautiful," "Beautiful days * * all the beauty borne" "Of ash and flame * * where truth and hope" "Rise again * * rise again"

"It's too little." "What are you saying?" "Nothing" "Go away" "You are in charge this time." "My men will do what you say" "Your boy is arrogant, you tell him yourself." "You think who you are?" "You are so late" "Wah Dee hurry, Big Brother is waiting for you." "It's to get money for godfather's litigation." "Trumpet wants you to be the driver." "I haven't done it for a while." "But if you Brother Seven wants me, I'II do it." "If you don't like it, don't do it." "If Big Brother asks me, I'II do it!" "O.K. then, wait for my call!" "Don't put on airs, little brother!" "Let's go!" "Wah Dee, I know you don't want to do it." "But Trumpet biases towards us." "After all, he is one of us." "You know..." "Favors can never be repaid fully." "Godfather's affair concerns us all." "trouble again, if nothing else leave quickly." "Brother Seven, I'm leaving, good night!" "See you." "ambulance and police are coming!" "It's been ten minutes." "Wait..." "I'm leaving first!" "Bye Bye!" "Manger!" "Don't move!" "Open the safe!" "Hurry!" "Get up quickly!" "You bastard, get up!" "Be quick!" "I'm getting up." "Open it!" "I'm opening it." "Two cups of coffee and tea." "Three egg sandwiches." "Hurry!" "Go after him!" "calling control..." "Stop!" "Don't move!" "Stop!" "Don't move!" "Get off!" "Go!" "Let go of the hostage!" "Stop!" "Stop the car!" "..." "Stop the car!" "This should be enough for us to enjoy." "Put it away!" "Big Brother, he's coming!" "What are you doing?" "Stay low and keep quiet, it will be O.K." "How did you manage to get away." "Where's the money?" "Give it to him!" "police are looking for us." "First, get a place to hide." "Not the right amount." "This is it." "We risked our lives for this." "If you don't want it, fine." "You are taking advantage of me." "So what?" "Not happy, tell your Big Brother to see me." "Don't bother her, she's out of this!" "Go away..." "What's happening?" "Who is she?" "I used her to get away." "She recognizes all of us now." "Do you want all of us in trouble?" "I brought her here, I'II be responsible." "Good, you're responsible." "It's your man, don't leave any trace." "Do it clean." "There are no cars here, I'II give you a ride." "The booze sinks in." "When will it block out my sadness." "The past will all calm down." "unable to break through." "unable to see clearly ahead." "conflict and coercion still present." "Treading on a grey path." "Like the reflection is the abyss" "ShouIdering my sufferings and regrets." "Your eyes are filled with tears." "The world is unknowingly filled with emptiness." "Woo...please don't leave." "Thinking of you again." "Who will cover up for me." "Want to know you wherever I go." "unable to remove the trace." "unfortunately we each have to face." "One's own destiny and goal." "Try to stay home." "Why are you so dirty all over?" "Nothing!" "Come again when you are free." "Having a late night snack!" "Wait!" "Ah Lin!" "Today is your Mom's death anniversary, go up and burn this for her." "What happened to your hand?" "Never mind him, he's always like this." "Are you O.K.?" "Let's go in!" "Bar girl kills herself for love." "Jumps in the middle of the night." "Moon in the sky, shining on me." "Lost it all at the tables." "Lost all my money." "Why do I have nothing, I'm not a hooker." "Madam, give me some face." "You haven't written the ticket yet!" "You better be earlier next time." "Yes, I'II be earlier next time." "I'II be earlier tomorrow and every other time" "Thank you Madam, I'II be earlier tomorrow." "Interfering with my area." "Hey, who's this?" "Wah Dee, don't play." "I've got some important things to tell you." "Be serious, listen." "The police and the gang are looking for you." "What you and Trumpet did is out." "The police got hold of Trumpet." "Rumour has it, you sold them out." "Go find a place to hide." "Informer..." "Don't run!" "Hit, I dare you!" "You'II know when we get back." "Get the car!" "Turn around, go!" "Kong Sir, this is my nephew!" "please give me some face, Kong Sir!" "Who respects you?" "The police or the gang." "Which side respects you?" "None..." "You only look after people's car." "Lean against the wall." "Yes, Kong Sir, he's young..." "Do you want to enjoy the air-con in police station?" "Lean against the wall." "Bastard, you dare play games with me!" "Don't think you're so great to this man." "Shut up, go away!" "tell me, what have I done!" "You'II know later." "You bastard, still putting on airs." "Just because you're police." "My grandfather was also a police." "He didn't put on airs, he cared for me." "Kong Sir!" "Go and take a look!" "Go nearer if you can't see well!" "told you to get rid of her." "Do you want to see the end of us?" "If she wanted to, she could have identified us!" "She might say it after further questioning." "I don't have time for this everyday." "If you don't want to do it, I'II get my men." "Get out!" "Is it this one?" "Too big." "What about this?" "Too small." "We've done this so many times." "How about this one?" "Too big again!" "Say it clearly, then I put it on." "Get on!" "Get on!" "Bastard, I'II get you wherever you go." "I'm coming, Boss!" "They were welding up there." "So I placed the papers on." "As if I owe you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Boss, your car is the most current model." "Good on gas and smart looking, Iet's go!" "slowly, Boss, slowly!" "So happy." "Another business." "Wah Dee?" "Are you OK, out already?" "Did Big Brother come?" "No, haven't seen him!" "Yes, fresh." "tell Big Brother I'II be at Bamboo hill." "Good Bye!" "What happened?" "Did 4336 call back?" "Try again." "call 9333, Wah Dee calling." "call me once he gets Brother Seven." "What time can I get home?" "I didn't call the police, they found my purse, so they found me." "May I call back home?" "They don't know where I am or what I'm doing!" "They will be worried." "I won't be coming home tonight, Ah Sang!" "I'm staying with my classmates." "She's leaving for the U.S. tomorrow." "O.K. I know." "alright, alright, Bye!" "Is this your first lie?" "Second, the first time was at the police station." "I'm going to bathroom." "Let's go!" "How about one more man, Miss!" "Open the door!" "Get hold of the girl." "Where are you going?" "Don't you dare play games with me." "Cut his hand off." "Trumpet doesn't get this any bigger." "It's his own fault, protecting the girl." "Don't move!" "I promised her she will be alright." "Who is responsible if she identifies us?" "I'II be responsible." "What are you saying, you wounded my man," "I haven't settled the score with you yet." "Trumpet, I'm his Big Brother," "I assure he'II be responsible." "Wah Dee, Iet's go!" "Go?" "What about wounding my man?" "Now this is settled." "Get away!" "Big brother" "Let's go!" "You've bleed a Iot!" "Are you alright?" "Leave me alone!" "Go home!" "Don't follow me!" "He comes home only when he's hurt." "Stop nagging such unlucky words." "Did I say it wrong?" "please stop it!" "It is very irritating!" "How is it?" "O.K., but a bit lower and that will be it." "Who's paying me?" "Money, follow me!" "Ma Ma Mia!" "Those bastards, we should pay them back." "Yes, stab them back." "Let him sleep down here." "Let's go buy some stuff for soup." "Snakehead soup will help the healing." "First throw this out." "Why is there so much bleeding this time?" "You just try letting someone stab you." "Good morning!" "please call 98!" "Who's calling 98?" "Hey, who's calling?" "Ah Sang said you're not eating properly." "hello JoJo, it's getting cold now." "Remember to put on more clothes." "Ah Sang said you missed the dancing lessons." "You have to continue the lessons." "There are a few universities here." "I think they're not bad." "Aunt Mary's daughter has just arrived." "She knows quite a few boyfriends already." "We've already bought a house here." "And be good!" "Bye!" "Moon in the sky, shining on me." "Mister!" "Who are you?" "What is it?" "Do you remember me?" "Are you crazy!" "There're thousand of girls passing by daily, who will remember you." "You called me 'fresh'." "Do you remember?" "Oh 'fresh', you're something." "He's never been stabbed for a girl." "How is he now?" "I've brought him some soup." "Wow, you even brought him soup." "Good, Iet me have a sip." "Stop it!" "Shit!" "Do you know where he is?" "Even if I know I won't say it." "What do I have the gain?" "What?" "$100 for the information?" "Save it!" "Why do I have nothing, I'm not a hooker." "Sorry to bother you!" "allah Ah Tor." "Nah mor aIIah a tor." "holding a big banana." "Hey Miss, have a drink with me!" "alone?" "Let's dance!" "May I invite you?" "EIope..." "What?" "Pretending to be a lady!" "Don't stay if there's nothing else." "Go away, why are you following me?" "I'm returning your jacket." "And the lighter." "Get on the bike!" "Hey!" "Amigo!" "Wah Dee, she's not bad, Iet's compete." "alright, bring out your best girl." "Strawberry!" "How do we compete?" "You in front, I follow, between 2 Iamp-post." "I will pass you." "You're putting money in my pocket." "$10,000!" "Bring me the keys!" "As you Iike." "Bring me the keys!" "clear the field!" "Get on!" "Get on and don't fall off." "Understand?" "Are you scared?" "Get off if you're scared, get off!" "If you're that good, don't fall off." "Ready!" "1,2,3." "What are you looking at?" "Are you pissed off?" "hold on!" "Are you O.K.?" "Isn't it fun?" "It's my birthday, that's why I Iooked for you." "What is it?" "Excuse me!" "Hey, we're closed." "What do you want?" "Buy yourself a drink!" "Hey, what are you looking for?" "17 years old?" "Are you telling the truth?" "It's true!" "Better add more, I don't believe you." "alright, shall we leave it like that?" "When's your birthday?" "I don't know!" "How can you not know?" "I don't know, what's unusual about it?" "Why not treat today as your birthday." "We can celebrate together from now on." "Good!" "Let's blow together!" "From now on, we share the birth date." "Today, Iet me celebrate for you." "OK!" "You're terrible." "Go in now." "Wah Dee, wait, this is for you." "It's raining hard, Sang!" "Why are you soaking wet, Miss?" "And you smell gasoline all over." "It's nothing, Ah Sang!" "Take your shoes off and go in." "quickly change your clothes." "I will." "Be careful you'II catch a cold." "I know!" "It's too little." "What are you saying?" "Nothing" "Go away" "You are in charge this time." "My men will do what you say" "Your boy is arrogant, you tell him yourself." "You think who you are?" "You are so late" "Wah Dee hurry, Big Brother is waiting for you." "It's to get money for godfather's litigation." "Trumpet wants you to be the driver." "I haven't done it for a while." "But if you Brother Seven wants me, I'II do it." "If you don't like it, don't do it." "If Big Brother asks me, I'II do it!" "O.K. then, wait for my call!" "Don't put on airs, little brother!" "Let's go!" "Wah Dee, I know you don't want to do it." "But Trumpet biases towards us." "After all, he is one of us." "You know..." "Favors can never be repaid fully." "Godfather's affair concerns us all." "trouble again, if nothing else leave quickly." "Brother Seven, I'm leaving, good night!" "See you." "ambulance and police are coming!" "It's been ten minutes." "Wait..." "I'm leaving first!" "Bye Bye!" "Manger!" "Don't move!" "Open the safe!" "Hurry!" "Get up quickly!" "You bastard, get up!" "Be quick!" "I'm getting up." "Open it!" "I'm opening it." "Two cups of coffee and tea." "Three egg sandwiches." "Hurry!" "Go after him!" "calling control..." "Stop!" "Don't move!" "Stop!" "Don't move!" "Get off!" "Go!" "Let go of the hostage!" "Stop!" "Stop the car!" "..." "Stop the car!" "This should be enough for us to enjoy." "Put it away!" "Big Brother, he's coming!" "What are you doing?" "Stay low and keep quiet, it will be O.K." "How did you manage to get away." "Where's the money?" "Give it to him!" "police are looking for us." "First, get a place to hide." "Not the right amount." "This is it." "We risked our lives for this." "If you don't want it, fine." "You are taking advantage of me." "So what?" "Not happy, tell your Big Brother to see me." "Don't bother her, she's out of this!" "Go away..." "What's happening?" "Who is she?" "I used her to get away." "She recognizes all of us now." "Do you want all of us in trouble?" "I brought her here, I'II be responsible." "Good, you're responsible." "It's your man, don't leave any trace." "Do it clean." "There are no cars here, I'II give you a ride." "The booze sinks in." "When will it block out my sadness." "The past will all calm down." "unable to break through." "unable to see clearly ahead." "conflict and coercion still present." "Treading on a grey path." "Like the reflection is the abyss" "ShouIdering my sufferings and regrets." "Your eyes are filled with tears." "The world is unknowingly filled with emptiness." "Woo...please don't leave." "Thinking of you again." "Who will cover up for me." "Want to know you wherever I go." "unable to remove the trace." "unfortunately we each have to face." "One's own destiny and goal." "Try to stay home." "Why are you so dirty all over?" "Nothing!" "Come again when you are free." "Having a late night snack!" "Wait!" "Ah Lin!" "Today is your Mom's death anniversary, go up and burn this for her." "What happened to your hand?" "Never mind him, he's always like this." "Are you O.K.?" "Let's go in!" "Bar girl kills herself for love." "Jumps in the middle of the night." "Moon in the sky, shining on me." "Lost it all at the tables." "Lost all my money." "Why do I have nothing, I'm not a hooker." "Madam, give me some face." "You haven't written the ticket yet!" "You better be earlier next time." "Yes, I'II be earlier next time." "I'II be earlier tomorrow and every other time" "Thank you Madam, I'II be earlier tomorrow." "Interfering with my area." "Hey, who's this?" "Wah Dee, don't play." "I've got some important things to tell you." "Be serious, listen." "The police and the gang are looking for you." "What you and Trumpet did is out." "The police got hold of Trumpet." "Rumour has it, you sold them out." "Go find a place to hide." "Informer..." "Don't run!" "Hit, I dare you!" "You'II know when we get back." "Get the car!" "Turn around, go!" "Kong Sir, this is my nephew!" "please give me some face, Kong Sir!" "Who respects you?" "The police or the gang." "Which side respects you?" "None..." "You only look after people's car." "Lean against the wall." "Yes, Kong Sir, he's young..." "Do you want to enjoy the air-con in police station?" "Lean against the wall." "Bastard, you dare play games with me!" "Don't think you're so great to this man." "Shut up, go away!" "tell me, what have I done!" "You'II know later." "You bastard, still putting on airs." "Just because you're police." "My grandfather was also a police." "He didn't put on airs, he cared for me." "Kong Sir!" "Go and take a look!" "Go nearer if you can't see well!" "told you to get rid of her." "Do you want to see the end of us?" "If she wanted to, she could have identified us!" "She might say it after further questioning." "I don't have time for this everyday." "If you don't want to do it, I'II get my men." "Get out!" "Is it this one?" "Too big." "What about this?" "Too small." "We've done this so many times." "How about this one?" "Too big again!" "Say it clearly, then I put it on." "Get on!" "Get on!" "Bastard, I'II get you wherever you go." "I'm coming, Boss!" "They were welding up there." "So I placed the papers on." "As if I owe you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Boss, your car is the most current model." "Good on gas and smart looking, Iet's go!" "slowly, Boss, slowly!" "So happy." "Another business." "Wah Dee?" "Are you OK, out already?" "Did Big Brother come?" "No, haven't seen him!" "Yes, fresh." "tell Big Brother I'II be at Bamboo hill." "Good Bye!" "What happened?" "Did 4336 call back?" "Try again." "call 9333, Wah Dee calling." "call me once he gets Brother Seven." "What time can I get home?" "I didn't call the police, they found my purse, so they found me." "May I call back home?" "They don't know where I am or what I'm doing!" "They will be worried." "I won't be coming home tonight, Ah Sang!" "I'm staying with my classmates." "She's leaving for the U.S. tomorrow." "O.K. I know." "alright, alright, Bye!" "Is this your first lie?" "Second, the first time was at the police station." "I'm going to bathroom." "Let's go!" "How about one more man, Miss!" "Open the door!" "Get hold of the girl." "Where are you going?" "Don't you dare play games with me." "Cut his hand off." "Trumpet doesn't get this any bigger." "It's his own fault, protecting the girl." "Don't move!" "I promised her she will be alright." "Who is responsible if she identifies us?" "I'II be responsible." "What are you saying, you wounded my man," "I haven't settled the score with you yet." "Trumpet, I'm his Big Brother," "I assure he'II be responsible." "Wah Dee, Iet's go!" "Go?" "What about wounding my man?" "Now this is settled." "Get away!" "Big brother" "Let's go!" "You've bleed a Iot!" "Are you alright?" "Leave me alone!" "Go home!" "Don't follow me!" "He comes home only when he's hurt." "Stop nagging such unlucky words." "Did I say it wrong?" "please stop it!" "It is very irritating!" "How is it?" "O.K., but a bit lower and that will be it." "Who's paying me?" "Money, follow me!" "Ma Ma Mia!" "Those bastards, we should pay them back." "Yes, stab them back." "Let him sleep down here." "Let's go buy some stuff for soup." "Snakehead soup will help the healing." "First throw this out." "Why is there so much bleeding this time?" "You just try letting someone stab you." "Good morning!" "please call 98!" "Who's calling 98?" "Hey, who's calling?" "Ah Sang said you're not eating properly." "hello JoJo, it's getting cold now." "Remember to put on more clothes." "Ah Sang said you missed the dancing lessons." "You have to continue the lessons." "There are a few universities here." "I think they're not bad." "Aunt Mary's daughter has just arrived." "She knows quite a few boyfriends already." "We've already bought a house here." "And be good!" "Bye!" "Moon in the sky, shining on me." "Mister!" "Who are you?" "What is it?" "Do you remember me?" "Are you crazy!" "There're thousand of girls passing by daily, who will remember you." "You called me 'fresh'." "Do you remember?" "Oh 'fresh', you're something." "He's never been stabbed for a girl." "How is he now?" "I've brought him some soup." "Wow, you even brought him soup." "Good, Iet me have a sip." "Stop it!" "Shit!" "Do you know where he is?" "Even if I know I won't say it." "What do I have the gain?" "What?" "$100 for the information?" "Save it!" "Why do I have nothing, I'm not a hooker." "Sorry to bother you!" "allah Ah Tor." "Nah mor aIIah a tor." "holding a big banana." "Hey Miss, have a drink with me!" "alone?" "Let's dance!" "May I invite you?" "EIope..." "What?" "Pretending to be a lady!" "Don't stay if there's nothing else." "Go away, why are you following me?" "I'm returning your jacket." "And the lighter." "Get on the bike!" "Hey!" "Amigo!" "Wah Dee, she's not bad, Iet's compete." "alright, bring out your best girl." "Strawberry!" "How do we compete?" "You in front, I follow, between 2 Iamp-post." "I will pass you." "You're putting money in my pocket." "$10,000!" "Bring me the keys!" "As you Iike." "Bring me the keys!" "clear the field!" "Get on!" "Get on and don't fall off." "Understand?" "Are you scared?" "Get off if you're scared, get off!" "If you're that good, don't fall off." "Ready!" "1,2,3." "What are you looking at?" "Are you pissed off?" "hold on!" "Are you O.K.?" "Isn't it fun?" "It's my birthday, that's why I Iooked for you." "What is it?" "Excuse me!" "Hey, we're closed." "What do you want?" "Buy yourself a drink!" "Hey, what are you looking for?" "17 years old?" "Are you telling the truth?" "It's true!" "Better add more, I don't believe you." "alright, shall we leave it like that?" "When's your birthday?" "I don't know!" "How can you not know?" "I don't know, what's unusual about it?" "Why not treat today as your birthday." "We can celebrate together from now on." "Good!" "Let's blow together!" "From now on, we share the birth date." "Today, Iet me celebrate for you." "OK!" "You're terrible." "Go in now." "Wah Dee, wait, this is for you." "It's raining hard, Sang!" "Why are you soaking wet, Miss?" "And you smell gasoline all over." "It's nothing, Ah Sang!" "Take your shoes off and go in." "quickly change your clothes." "I will." "Be careful you'II catch a cold." "I know!" "Miss!" "Miss!" "Come over!" "What is it?" "Very hot!" "..." "It is her, kidding with you." "It's not me!" "What are you up to, kid?" "1,2,3...1,2,3...1,2,3...3!" "You're lost!" "Stop nagging and go get us something." "You two are evil." "Your girl is very accommodating." "So are you, old devil!" "Hey, are you serious this time." "Don't say nonsense." "I knew it as soon as I saw you two." "Hey, can you help me sell this motorbike?" "Are you sure?" "Such a pity." "well, if I had some money." "I can go into 2nd hand car business." "What?" "Do you want to go straight?" "Nine out of ten remain that way." "It won't be that easy, Ah Dee!" "Those kids came to bother me last night." "Want me to retire." "Says this street is theirs." "They don't know what they're getting into." "Don't disappoint me." "Don't come back if you faiI." "I've been here for over ten years." "I'm not afraid of them!" "Forty dollars!" "Sorry to bother you." "Thank you!" "This is rough area." "Aren't you afraid being alone?" "I am meeting someone." "I know, you're meeting Wah Dee." "Just a piece of advice." "Do you think he is serious?" "He's nice so you won't identify him." "You are being used." "What are you saying?" "None of your business!" "What is it?" "What is it?" "That case is not finished yet." "I'II get you someday." "I'II get you someday." "Are you finished." "Have some tea, Miss Yuen!" "Thanks." "It's not Yuen, it's Miss Huen!" "It's O.K., call me JoJo." "It's english." "I know." "Can you stop singing?" "What should I call them?" "Just call us moms." "What do you mean 'Moms'?" "What's wrong with it?" "We raised him since he was very small." "please take my little present." "Ask him whether we are his moms or not." "Stop talking and open the door." "Oh, I forgot to leave a note outside." "Hey, man, no." "I'm not available today" "Then what about the other two?" "AII 3 busy, go home and get your mom." "Something urgent came up, I can't take you home." "I'II call you." "Keep quiet!" "Let me see what it is." "Let me see!" "Give it back to me." "You shouldn't do it, you're our guest." "That's OK, I Iike doing it." "Wah Dee seldom brings friends home." "His mom was cruel, jumping from the roof." ""plop", and there she was on the ground." "Left this little burden behind." "Where's his father?" "Even his mother doesn't know who he is." "Does he have any other relatives?" "I hear he has a grandfather in Macau?" "What is it Ah Sang?" "Why are you so late Miss?" "Sir and Madam just got off the plane." "really?" "Daddy." "Good girl." "I'm so happy to see you, my good girl." "I missed you very much." "Come over here!" "These are Canadian Universities' brochures." "I've chosen two, you pick out one yourself." "We're going up now." "Don't come back so late next time." "Come up, Ah Sang!" "Has he returned the call?" "Not yet!" "Try again then." "Big Brother!" "Wah Dee, why are you this late?" "How is Godfather?" "He's having his operation." "Bastard, Iet's get rid of them." "Don't get so excited, Trumpet?" "We don't even know how Godfather is yet." "If Godfather dies, I don't care if he's young or old." "I'II kill them." "How is it?" "I've told them to go to the restaurant." "I asked you to call him earlier." "What are you saying?" "Go wait whether or not there's any news." "Everyone waits at the restaurant, get it?" "I'm sorry, we did all we can." "Fuck, Iet's all go!" "Mummy!" "Why aren't you sleeping?" "I'm waiting for my friend's call from U.S." "Is it important?" "No!" "Go to sleep then if it is not important." "alright!" "Are you trying to scare me?" "I've been around much longer than you." "I'm telling you, old man." "I talk to you just because you're old." "talk to my Big Brother if you're unhappy." "Go ask your Big Brother Trumpet." "Who was around first." "He wants to have fun." "I'm telling you." "I don't want to see you here tomorrow." "Understand?" "Let's go!" "Rotten kid, trying to scare me." "would I be scared?" "Damn it?" "Are you O.K., Bo?" "Where is Wah Dee?" "How do I know where he is." "You said he was hurt in a fight, you must know where he is." "Leave him alone, he'II always be like that." "please tell me where he is?" "You two are impossible." "Can you tell me if Wah Dee is here?" "He's upstairs!" "Thank you!" "Are you his grandfather?" "Grandfather!" "I won't be able to give you anything." "Come over here!" "will you regret?" "Striding together in the sky." "Put away strife and conflicts." "My heart is full of romance." "Laughter between us, is the best moment." "Never mind if it is real or false, though wrong, we'II never part." "Free to be naive again." "Hope we will always stay close." "I can finally be with you." "I can see clearly all over." "Being ordinary is so good." "Laughter between us, is the best moment." "Never mind if it is real or false, though wrong, we'II never part." "Free to be naive again." "Hope we will always stay close." "Come, today is Mid-Autumn festival." "Let's have a piece of moon-cake." "I don't like moon-cakes." "Grandfather, sit down and eat something." "Yes, grandfather, eat something first." "With Wah Dee leaving this time," "I don't know when he'II be back." "These two pillows are for you." "Thank you!" "There's this other one." "Wow, it's very beautiful." "This needs one too." "You scare me." "Kid, you are enjoying yourself." "oblivious to what's around you." "Her parents have filed kidnapping charges." "I'm telling you now." "Go back to H.K. right away and you'II be O.K." "also, your Big Brother is having trouble." "Daddy, Mummy!" "Come with me!" "Wait for me!" "Get on!" "Ah Sang!" "Go home, Miss!" "Let me go!" "C.I.D.!" "Her mother filed the charges, not me." "Ah Sang, get her into the car." "Wah Dee!" "Go!" "Let him go, why are you detaining him?" "Wah Dee..." "What?" "This is none of my business!" "It's her mother who's charging you." "And there's the jeweI-factory robbery." "eventually I'II get you." "Hey!" "Chan Sir!" "Yes, Iet the kid go!" "What do you mean let him go?" "What exactly does she want?" "She's not laying any charges." "We'II discuss it in my room." "JoJo is just a kid, it's not up to her." "I'II take her to Canada for schooling." "I don't want so much trouble." "Don't worry, shirley." "It'II be alright, we're school mates." "Thanks a Iot, John!" "Why is it like that Chan Sir?" "She's canceling the charges." "You're canceling the charges." "What, close the case, we haven't got him yet." "I'm taking you off Miss Huen's case." "It's obvious she's protecting him." "You don't want any part of this?" "We had a deal, I get your daughter back." "And she'II be our witness, what now?" "Are you playing games?" "Shut up, what are you saying?" "John, I'm busy, I've got to leave." "Good!" "When you're free, visit me in Canada." "Yes, I will!" "Let's go, JoJo." "still no clues to the jewel robbery case." "Is this the way you work." "Don't just stand there, get going!" "Yes, Sir!" "Here's a good spot for you." "What do you expect for a few dollars?" "What is it?" "None of your business!" "Hey, come on, what is it?" "Nothing!" "Run, I'II see where you can go?" "What's wrong with your face?" "Nothing" "I got beaten up." "Don't make trouble, Ah Dee!" "Don't stop me." "Leave it, don't make any trouble." "You've been bullied and we do nothing." "Your Big Brother and the others are looking for you." "There's enough money for everyone." "I can still earn my living." "Look at you, you're degrading me." "If you got the guts, we'II get even with them." "If I've got the guts I'II be Big Brother." "Not just doing cars." "You think I'm happy with this?" "Depending on the gang." "So you have the guts." "But you're still stabbed and on the run." "Brother Seven is in trouble now." "I haven't interfered in the past 2 years." "But Trumpet won't leave me alone." "What does he want?" "He wants to be the head." "will the men accept him?" "Brother Seven is better whichever way you see it." "Shut up!" "Trumpet is like a mad dog now." "You've all stepped on his toe before." "I don't want fighting between ourselves." "Trumpet wants to meet us at AA." "This is it, who does Trumpet think he is." "I've been around much longer than him." "Brother Seven, I'II support you tomorrow." "Go get me a pack of cigarette." "Brother Seven?" "Go on." "Brother Seven!" "Rambo!" "The police want Trumpet to hand over someone." "Big Brother, I'II always listen to you." "I'II go up tomorrow!" "It's because of him you're going to Canada." "Later on, you'II know you were right." "Bring more clothes, it's snowing there." "If not enough, we'II buy some more over there." "I want to get off the car." "No, you cannot." "We just have you." "Even if we're wrong, it's for your good." "I want to get off the car." "No, you cannot." "Stop the car!" "Stop the car!" "JoJo!" "Miss!" "JoJo!" "You cannot go." "I'II go to Canada with you, but tonight I have to see him." "Don't drink too much, have some food." "What is it?" "Are you drunk?" "Ah Bo, get me a hot towel, quick!" "Where are you going?" "To the toilet!" "I'II go with you." "No need!" "How was the money today?" "Go..." "Let it go, Ah Dee!" "Don't beat him up anymore!" "Have a good look." "This street is Rambo's, is that clear!" "This is the Iast time I can help you." "Are you alright?" "I am alright, you can go." "I'm leaving, I'm leaving." "He's in a bad mood, I'm leaving." "Go!" "I'm leaving!" "Take care of him, he drank too much!" "I've washed all your clothes." "Hang them up if it's sunny tomorrow." "I bought some food, it's in the fridge." "The lighter is behind the flowerpot." "I don't like my place so tidy." "I don't like it so clean..." "I'm in the triad." "closed." "Trumpet, what do you want?" "A snake cannot be without a head." "The top spot is mine." "You can retire to care for your pets." "If your men want to, they can follow me." "If not, just disappear." "But I want him." "Trumpet, you're asking too much." "Ah Sang, sit down!" "Trumpet, even if I am willing to go." "will my men listen to you." "So there's nothing else to discuss." "We're all family..." "Go to die." "killing me will not help you much, Trumpet." "Run!" "Wah Dee, get in the car!" "Fuck, I knew Trumpet would do this." "Good thing I was smart." "Don't panic, Wah Dee!" "I'm not Rambo if I do not get him back." "Lung Bui, it's Rambo." "I am looking for him too." "He's not in Wan Chai for sure." "What's Snake's phone and call number?" "You call him up for me right away." "Say I want to find Trumpet." "Let me know when you find him." "I have to leave for Canada." "Take care." "No regrets in loving you." "JoJo." "Get someone to fix the kitchen freezer." "Get in the car first, JoJo!" "Cut off this branch, it's a bit long." "Get someone to paint the outer wall." "also, change the water tank on the roof." "If the piping needs to be changed, do them." "Made the decision, no regrets." "Don't ask why it is." "I don't care even if it's wrong." "My fate is still unclear." "unable to tell between reality and ideals." "We were never apart." "Life is short, no regrets spent with you." "ShuttIing between the sky and the shores." "Remembering a scattering and fading sight." "Don't forget my true affections." "Understand my loss of freedom." "A moment of romance is enough." "Without a word, please forgive me." "Enduring to the end alone." "I want to ask why is love so short." "Trapped in sadness." "Life is short, no regrets spent with you." "ShuttIing between the sky and the shores." "Remembering a scattering and fading sight." "Don't forget my true affections." "Life is short, no regrets spent with you." "ShuttIing between the sky and the shores." "Remembering a scattering and fading sight." "Don't forget my true affections." "Station 161." "98" "Password." "888" "Rambo says Trumpet is at Happy Sauna." "Asks you to go at once." "Thank you!" "JoJo, whatever you wish for us." "Pray to God." "Wah Dee!" "Wah Dee!" "Wah Dee!" "Wah Dee, come over!" "He should be out soon." "He has two men with him, I'm not scared." "I'm not scared, I want to kill the bastard." "How are you?" "Are you alright?" "It's nothing!" "I'm O.K.!" "Forgive me for being silent." "Life is still with you." "You have searched for the lost sounds." "The day has set and gone." "We all hope to keep youth with us." "Missing you." "I can hear sighs for you in my dreams." "If I cannot spend my Iife with you." "It's not because I do not want to." "I've told you how I feel inside." "Like we're in different worlds." "We long for what is past." "Life is short." "To enter into where you left off." "Just a glimpse." "Let the flames of love forever burn." "Youth please return." "To keep me company." "If I cannot spend my Iife with you." "It's not because I do not want to." "I've told you how I feel inside." "Like we're in different worlds." "We long for what is past." "Life is short." "To enter into where you left off." "I killed Trumpet, I did it." "Just a glimpse." "Let the flames of love forever burn." "Youth please return." "To keep me company." "If I cannot spend my Iife with you." "It's not because I do not want to." "I've told you how I feel inside." "Like we're in different worlds." "We long for what is past." "Life is short." "To enter into where you left off." "Life is short." "To enter into where you left off."

"OU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?" "DO YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE?" "TO BE OUT." "THIS IS OUT." "OUT'S ONE OF THE MOST ENJOYABLE" "EXPERIENCES OF LIFE." "WHEN PEOPLE SAY, LET'S GO OUT." "THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT." "THIS WHOLE THING-- WE'RE ALL OUT." "NO ONE IS HOME." "NOT ONE PERSON HERE'S HOME." "WE'RE ALL OUT." "THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO FIND US." "THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE." "I CAN'T FIND HIM." "WHERE DID HE GO?" "HE DIDN'T TELL ME." "HE MUST HAVE GONE OUT." "YOU WANT TO GO OUT." "YOU GET READY-- PICK OUT CLOTHES," "TAKE THE SHOWER, GET ALL READY," "GET THE CASH, THE CAR, THE SPOT, THE RESERVATION..." "THEN YOU STAND AROUND GOING," "GOT TO BE GETTING BACK." "ONCE YOU'RE OUT, YOU WANT TO GET BACK" "GO TO SLEEP, GET UP," "GO OUT AGAIN TOMORROW." "WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE," "IT'S MY FEELING, YOU'VE GOT TO GO." "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY COLUMBIA TRISTAR DOMESTIC TELEVISION" "ST POSSIBLE SPOT." "THE SECOND BUTTON" "LITERALLY MAKES OR BREAKS THE SHIRT." "LOOK AT IT." "IT'S TOO HIGH." "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER." "ARE YOU THROUGH?" "YOU DO TRY THINGS ON?" "YES!" "IT WAS PURPLE." "I LIKED IT." "I DON'T RECALL CONSIDERING BUTTONS." "OH, YOU DON'T RECALL." "AHEM." "NO, NOT AT THIS TIME." "SENATOR, TELL ME WHAT YOU KNEW" "AND WHEN YOU KNEW IT." "MR. SEINFELD..." "MR. COSTANZA." "ARE YOU SURE THIS IS DECAF?" "WHERE'S THE ORANGE INDICATOR?" "IT'S MISSING." "I HAVE TO DO IT IN MY HEAD." "DECAF LEFT." "REGULAR RIGHT." "DECAF LEFT." "REGULAR RIGHT." "IT'S VERY CHALLENGING WORK." "RELAX." "IT'S A CUP OF COFFEE." "CLAIRE'S A PROFESSIONAL WAITRESS." "TRUST ME, GEORGE, NOBODY'S INTERESTED" "IN SEEING YOU ON CAFFEINE." "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THE SECOND SHOW TOMORROW?" "THERE'S THIS WOMAN MIGHT BE COMING." "WAIT A SECOND." "WAIT A SECOND." "WHAT COMING IN?" "WHAT WOMAN'S COMING IN?" "I TOLD YOU ABOUT LAURA," "THE GIRL I MET IN MICHIGAN." "NO, YOU DIDN'T." "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU." "SHE TEACHES POLITICAL SCIENCE." "I MET HER THE NIGHT I DID THE SHOW IN LANSING." "THERE'S NO MILK IN HERE." "WAIT." "WHAT'S SHE LIKE?" "OH, SHE'S REALLY GREAT." "SHE'S GOT A WARMTH ABOUT HER." "SHE'S REALLY BRIGHT AND PRETTY." "AND THE CONVERSATION, IT WAS..." "TALKING WITH HER" "IT WAS LIKE TALKING WITH YOU," "BUT, YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY MUCH BETTER." "SO, YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED?" "NOTHING HAPPENED, BUT IT WAS GREAT." "NOTHING HAPPENED, BUT IT WAS..." "WELL, THIS IS GREAT!" "SO SHE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU?" "GOD BLESS." "YOU DEVIL, YOU." "YEAH, WELL, NOT EXACTLY." "I MEAN, SHE SAID" "SHE HAD TO COME IN AND MAYBE WE'D GET TOGETHER." "[WHISTLES] WHOA." "WHOA." "WHOA." "HAD TO?" "HAD TO COME IN?" "YEAH, BUT" "HAD TO COME IN?" "MAYBE WE'LL GET TOGETHER?" "HAD TO AND MAYBE?" "NO, NO." "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEE HER." "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" "WHY DID SHE CALL?" "MAYBE SHE WANTED TO BE POLITE." "TO BE POLITE?" "YOU ARE INSANE." "OK, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SHE CALLED?" "YOU'RE A BACKUP." "YOU'RE A SECOND LINE, A JUST-IN-CASE," "A "B" PLAN, A CONTINGENCY." "I GET IT." "THIS IS ABOUT THE BUTTON." "CLAIRE." "CLAIRE, YOU'RE A WOMAN, RIGHT?" "WHAT GAVE IT AWAY?" "I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU TO ANALYZE" "A HYPOTHETICAL PHONE CALL" "FROM A FEMALE POINT OF VIEW." "WHAT ARE YOU ASKING HER?" "HOW'S SHE GOING TO KNOW?" "NOW, A WOMAN CALLS ME, RIGHT?" "SHE SAYS SHE HAS TO..." "NO." "COME TO NEW YORK ON BUSINESS" "AND MAYBE..." "SHE'LL SEE ME WHEN SHE'S HERE." "DOES THIS WOMAN INTEND TO SPEND TIME WITH ME?" "I'D HAVE TO SAY, UH, NO." "SO WHY DID SHE CALL?" "TO BE POLITE." "TO BE POLITE." "I REST MY CASE." "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." "COME WITH ME." "MY STUFF'S IN THE DRYER." "I'M NOT GOING TO WATCH YOU DO LAUNDRY." "BE A "COME WITH" GUY." "COME ON." "I'M TIRED." "DON'T WORRY." "I GAVE HIM CAFFEINE." "HE'LL PERK UP." "I KNEW I FELT SOMETHING." "JERRY, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING." "THIS IS THE DULLEST MOMENT I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED." "YOU DIDN'T EVEN HEAR HOW SHE SOUNDED." "WHAT?" "LAURA." "I CAN'T BELIEVE" "WE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS." "HOW COULD YOU BE SO SURE?" "'CAUSE IT'S SIGNALS, JERRY." "IT'S SIGNALS." "DON'T YOU KNOW?" "ALL RIGHT." "DID SHE EVEN ASK YOU" "WHAT YOU WERE DOING TOMORROW NIGHT?" "NO." "SHE DOESN'T MAKE A PLAN FOR TOMORROW." "WHAT IS THAT?" "IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT." "YEAH." "WHAT IS THAT?" "IT'S RIDICULOUS." "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HOTEL SHE'S STAYING AT." "YOU CAN'T CALL HER." "THAT'S A SIGNAL, JERRY." "THAT'S A SIGNAL." "SIGNAL." "MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT." "MAYBE I'M RIGHT." "OF COURSE I'M RIGHT." "THIS IS INSANE." "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE'S STAYING." "SHE'S NOT GOING TO CALL ME." "THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE." "I KNOW." "I KNOW." "YOUR STUFF MUST BE DONE BY NOW." "JUST SEE IF IT'S DRY." "DON'T INTERRUPT THE CYCLE." "THE MACHINE IS WORKING." "IT KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING." "JUST LET IT FINISH." "YOU'RE GOING TO OVERDRY IT." "YOU CAN'T OVERDRY." "WHY NOT?" "SAME REASON YOU CAN'T OVERWET." "ONCE SOMETHING IS WET," "IT'S WET." "SAME THING WITH DEATH." "ONCE YOU DIE, YOU'RE DEAD, RIGHT?" "SAY YOU DROP DEAD, AND I SHOOT YOU." "YOU WON'T DIE AGAIN." "YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD." "YOU CAN'T OVERDIE." "YOU CAN'T OVERDRY." "ANY QUESTIONS?" "HOW COULD SHE NOT TELL ME" "WHERE SHE WAS STAYING?" "LOOK AT THAT!" "THEY'RE DONE!" "LAUNDRY DAY IS THE ONLY EXCITING DAY" "IN THE LIFE OF CLOTHES." "IT IS." "NO, THINK ABOUT IT." "THE WASHING MACHINE" "IS THE NIGHTCLUB OF CLOTHES." "IT'S DARK, THERE'S BUBBLES HAPPENING," "THEY'RE ALL KIND OF DANCING AROUND IN THERE." "A SHIRT GRABS THE UNDERWEAR." ""COME ON, BABE." "LET'S GO."" "YOU OPEN UP THE LID AND THEY ALL..." "SOCKS ARE THE MOST AMAZING ARTICLE OF CLOTHING." "THEY HATE THEIR LIVES." "THEY'RE IN THE SHOES WITH STINKY FEET," "THE BORING DRAWERS." "THEY KNOW THE DRYER'S THEIR CHANCE TO ESCAPE." "THEY PLAN THEIR ESCAPE IN THE HAMPER." ""TOMORROW." "THE DRYER." "I'M GOING."" ""YOU WAIT HERE."" "THE DRYER DOOR SWINGS OPEN." "THE SOCK IS WAITING UP AGAINST THE SIDE WALL." "HE HOPES YOU DON'T SEE HIM," "THEN HE GOES DOWN THE ROAD." "THEY GET BUTTONS SEWN ON THEIR FACE" "AND JOIN THE PUPPET SHOW." "SO THEY'RE SHOWING ME ON TELEVISION" "THE DETERGENTS GETTING OUT BLOOD STAINS." "IS THIS A VIOLENT IMAGE TO ANYBODY, BLOOD STAINS?" "YOU GOT A T-SHIRT WITH BLOOD STAINS ALL OVER IT," "MAYBE LAUNDRY ISN'T YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM." "MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET THE HARPOON" "OUT OF YOUR CHEST FIRST." "[BASEBALL PLAYS ON TV]" "[TELEPHONE RINGS]" "[RING]" "DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MET GAME." "I TAPED IT." "HELLO?" "I'M SORRY." "YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER." "YEAH." "N" "[KNOCK ON DOOR]" "YEAH." "YOU UP?" "YEAH." "YEAH, PEOPLE DO MOVE." "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE BIG TRUCKS OUT ON THE STREET?" "YEAH, NO PROBLEM." "THE METS BLEW IT TONIGHT, HUH?" "OH!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "IT'S A TAPE." "I TAPED THE GAME." "IT'S 1:00 IN THE MORNING." "I AVOIDED HUMAN CONTACT ALL NIGHT TO WATCH THIS." "HEY, I'M SORRY." "I THOUGHT YOU KNEW." "YOU GOT ANY MEAT?" "MEAT?" "I DON'T KNOW." "GO HUNT." "WHAT HAPPENED IN THE GAME, ANYWAY?" "WHAT HAPPENED?" "WELL, THEY STUNK, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED." "I ALMOST WOUND UP GOING TO THAT GAME." "YEAH." "YOU HAVEN'T LEFT THE BUILDING IN 10 YEARS." "YEAH." "YOU DONE WITH THIS?" "NO." "WHEN YOU'RE DONE, LET ME KNOW." "YEAH, YEAH." "YOU CAN HAVE IT TOMORROW." "I THOUGHT I COULDN'T BE IN HERE THIS WEEKEND." "NAW, IT'S OK NOW." "THAT GIRL'S NOT COMING." "I MISREAD THE WHOLE THING." "DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HER?" "I DON'T THINK SO." "I CAN BE VERY PERSUASIVE." "YOU KNOW THAT I WAS ALMOST A LAWYER?" "THAT CLOSE, HUH?" "YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT." "[TELEPHONE RINGS]" "HELLO?" "OH, HI, LAURA." "OH." "GIVE ME IT." "LET ME TALK." "LET ME TALK TO HER." "I'M ALWAYS UP AT THIS HOUR." "HOW ARE YOU?" "GREAT." "SURE." "WHAT TIME'S THE PLANE GET IN?" "MY FRIEND GEORGE WILL TAKE ME." "A SLIDE!" "OUT!" "DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?" "IT'S JUST MY NEIGHBOR." "UM, YEAH, I GOT IT." "10:15." "NO, DON'T BE SILLY." "GO AHEAD AND ASK." "YEAH, SURE." "OK, GREAT." "NO, NO." "IT'S NO TROUBLE AT ALL." "I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW." "GREAT." "BYE." "I DON'T BELIEVE IT." "THAT WAS HER." "SHE WANTS TO STAY HERE." "IF MY FATHER WAS MOVING US," "HE'D SMOKE A CIGARETTE THE WHOLE WAY." "HAVE YOU GOT YOUR END?" "[COUGHS] YOUR END COMES DOWN FIRST." "EASY NOW." "DROP IT DOWN." "DROP IT DOWN." "YOUR END'S GOT TO COME DOWN." "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BRINGING IN AN EXTRA BED" "FOR A WOMAN THAT WANTS TO SLEEP WITH YOU." "WHY DON'T YOU BRING IN AN EXTRA GUY, TOO?" "LOOK, IT'S A VERY AWKWARD SITUATION." "I DON'T WANT TO BE PRESUMPTUOUS." "ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME" "ONE MORE TIME..." "WHAT WAS THE EXACT PHRASING OF THE REQUEST?" "SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T FIND" "A DECENT HOTEL ROOM." "A DECENT HOTEL ROOM." "YEAH." "WOULD IT BE TERRIBLY INCONVENIENT" "IF SHE STAYED HERE?" "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS." "THIS IS NEW YORK CITY." "THERE MUST BE 11 MILLION DECENT HOTEL ROOMS." "WHAT DO YOU NEED, A FLAG?" "THIS IS THE SIGNAL, JERRY!" "THIS IS THE SIGNAL!" "THANK YOU, MR. SIGNAL." "WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY?" "I THINK I WAS AFFECTED BY THE CAFFEINE." "OH!" "OH!" "GOOD DOG!" "ALL RIGHT." "HEY, HE REALLY LIKES YOU, GEORGE." "WELL, THAT'S FLATTERING." "HE'S GETTING A DRINK OF WATER." "IS THIS FOR THAT GIRL?" "YEAH." "WHY EVEN GIVE HER AN OPTION?" "THIS IS A PERSON I LIKE." "IT'S NOT HOW TO SCORE ON SPRING BREAK." "CAN WE GO?" "I'M DOUBLE PARKED." "I'M GOING TO GET A TICKET." "YEAH, OK." "WAIT." "I FORGOT TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM." "SO WHAT?" "THAT'S GOOD." "HOW COULD THAT BE GOOD?" "BECAUSE FILTH IS GOOD." "YOU THINK ROCK STARS HAVE SPONGES AND AMMONIA" "LYING AROUND THE BATHROOM?" "YOU THINK THEY WOULD TIDY UP?" "LOOK, IN THESE MATTERS," "NEVER ACT ON INSTINCT." "ALWAYS DO THE OPPOSITE." "THIS IS HOW YOU OPERATE?" "YEAH, I WISH." "LET ME JUST WIPE THE SINK." "WHY EVEN GIVE HER AN OPTION FOR?" "IT'S UNBELIEVABLE." "YEAH." "HOW'S THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS?" "IT'S, UH, NOT BAD." "IT'S COMING ALONG." "WHY?" "DID YOU NEED SOMETHING?" "YOU HANDLE ANY OF THAT COMMERCIAL..." "WHOOSH!" "..." "REAL ESTATE THAT..." "SHOO!" "WELL, I MIGHT BE GETTING INTO THAT." "YOU KEEP ME POSTED." "I'M AWARE OF YOU." "LET'S GO!" "LET'S GO!" "IF ONLY YOU COULD ASK A WOMAN WHAT SHE'S THINKING." "WHAT A WORLD THAT WOULD BE." "INSTEAD, I'M LIKE A DETECTIVE PICKING UP CLUES." "THE WHOLE THING'S A MURDER INVESTIGATION." "DON'T GET WORKED UP." "YOU'LL KNOW THE WHOLE STORY WHEN SHE ARRIVES." "REALLY?" "HOW?" "IF SHE PUTS THE BAGS DOWN BEFORE SHE GREETS YOU," "THAT'S A GOOD SIGN." "ANYTHING AROUND THE LIPS IS GOOD." "A HUG, DEFINITELY GOOD." "SUPPOSE IT'S ONE OF THOSE HUGS" "WHERE THE SHOULDERS TOUCH," "THE HIPS ARE 8 FEET APART?" "ALSO, A SHAKE IS BAD." "BUT WHAT IF IT'S THE TWO-HANDER" "ONE ON THE BOTTOM, ONE ON THE TOP?" "HAND SANDWICH?" "IT'S OPEN TO INTERPRETATION." "IT DEPENDS ON THE LAYERING," "THE QUALITY OF THE WETNESS IN THE EYES." "GUESS WHO!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HE" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY, HEY!" "HEY!" "IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU." "HI." "THIS IS MY FRIEND GEORGE." "HI." "THIS IS LAURA." "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE." "AHH." "WOW." "UM, UH..." "THE BAGS." "OH, YEAH!" "HERE, LAURA." "I'M SORRY." "OH, THANK YOU." "THAT WAS AN INTERESTING GREETING, GEORGE." "YES, THE SURPRISE BLINDFOLD GREETING." "THAT WASN'T IN THE MANUAL." "SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?" "WHOA." "WOW." "THIS PLACE ISN'T SO BAD." "YEAH, IT KIND OF MOTIVATES ME" "TO WORK ON THE ROAD." "SO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME." "AHH..." "SO, UH, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING" "UH, BREAD, WATER..." "SALAD DRESSING?" "ACTUALLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY WINE?" "UH, YEAH, I THINK I DO." "DO YOU MIND IF I TURN THIS DOWN?" "UH, NO." "YEAH, GO--GO RIGHT AHEAD." "YEAH." "JERRY, I WAS WONDERING." "WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE" "AND IF IT'S NOT, FINE" "FOR ME TO STAY HERE TOMORROW NIGHT, TOO?" "UH, YEAH." "YEAH, SURE." "YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU STAY?" "YEAH, UM..." "WHAT'S YOUR SCHEDULE FOR TOMORROW?" "ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING?" "NO." "I'D LOVE TO DO SOMETHING." "AFTER MY SEMINAR, I'M WIDE OPEN." "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?" "WELL..." "I KNOW THIS SOUNDS TOURISTY," "BUT I'D LOVE TO GO" "ON A FIVE-HOUR BOAT RIDE AROUND MANHATTAN." "YEAH, WE COULD DO THAT." "WHY NOT?" "WHY NOT?" "I'M JUST--I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE." "[TELEPHONE RINGS]" "[RING]" "HELLO." "YES." "YES, SHE IS." "HOLD ON." "IT'S FOR YOU." "OH." "HELLO?" "HI!" "NO, NO." "IT WAS GREAT, RIGHT ON TIME." "NO." "I'M GOING TO STAY HERE TOMORROW." "YES, YES, IT'S FINE." "NO." "WE'RE GOING ON A BOAT RIDE." "OH, UH..." "DON'T BE SILLY." "I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION." "LOOK, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW." "OK." "BYE." "[SIGHS] NEVER GET ENGAGED." "YOU'RE ENGAGED?" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE" "UNTIL YOU DO IT." "I'M ON THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER." "YOU'RE ENGAGED?" "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT MYSELF SOMETIMES." "YOU HAVE TO START THINKING IN TERMS OF "WE."" "IT'S A VERY STRESSFUL SITUATION." "YOU'RE ENGAGED." "YEAH." "HE'S A GREAT GUY." "YEAH." "YOU'D REALLY LIKE HIM." "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON THAT BOAT." "ME, TOO." "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOMEN ARE THINKING." "I ADMIT, I-- I'M NOT GETTING THE SIGNALS." "I'M NOT GETTING IT." "WOMEN, THEY'RE SO SUBTLE." "THEIR LITTLE--EVERYTHING THEY DO IS SUBTLE." "MEN AREN'T SUBTLE." "WE'RE OBVIOUS." "WOMEN KNOW WHAT MEN WANT." "MEN KNOW WHAT MEN WANT." "WHAT DO WE WANT?" "WE WANT WOMEN." "THAT'S IT." "IT'S THE ONLY THING WE KNOW FOR SURE." "IT REALLY IS." "WE WANT WOMEN." "HOW DO WE GET THEM?" "WE DON'T KNOW." "THE STEP AFTER THAT, WE HAVE NO IDEA." "THIS IS WHY MEN HONK HORNS," "YELL FROM CONSTRUCTION SITES." "THESE ARE THE BEST IDEAS WE'VE HAD SO FAR." "THE CAR HORN HONK-- IS THAT THE BEAUTY?" "HAVE YOU SEEN MEN DOING THIS?" "THE MAN'S IN THE CAR." "THE WOMAN WALKS BY THE CAR." "HE HONKS THE" "[HONK HONK]" "[HONK HONK]" "THIS MAN IS OUT OF IDEAS." "HOW DOES HE" "[HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK]" "I DON'T THINK SHE LIKES ME." "THE AMAZING THING IS THAT WE STILL GET WOMEN." "MEN ARE WITH WOMEN." "YOU SEE MEN WITH WOMEN." ""HOW ARE MEN GETTING WOMEN?" MANY PEOPLE WONDER." "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT OUR ORGANIZATION." "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY COLUMBIA TRISTAR DOMESTIC TELEVISION" "WHEREVER WOMEN ARE," "WE HAVE A MAN WORKING ON THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW." "NOW, HE MAY NOT BE OUR BEST MAN." "OK, WE HAVE A LOT OF AREAS TO COVER," "BUT SOMEONE FROM OUR STAFF IS ON THE SCENE." "THAT'S WHY I THINK MEN GET FRUSTRATED" "WHEN WE SEE WOMEN READING ARTICLES" "LIKE WHERE TO MEET MEN." "WE'RE HERE." "WE ARE EVERYWHERE." "WE'RE HONKING OUR HORNS TO SERVE YOU BETTER."

"Move!" "It's life or death now, James." "By that, I mean you're doing one or the other up in Rockview." "This here is District Attorney Rodin." "Want to know what he's wondering?" "Whether you're gonna walk like a man or cry like a pussy on your way to the death house." "See, the D.A. likes the needle, whereas me," "I like to see a man like you live a long life with all your teeth knocked out." "Passed around till a brother can't tell your fart from a yawn." "Now, I don't know what kind of man you are, which of these two fates you prefer, but Rodin here is a generous fellow." "He's willing to let you take your pick." "If you save us and this city a long and costly trial, waive your right to counsel and confess, right now." "Sixteen hours." "Has to be some kind of record, Detective." "What the hell is this?" "Who the hell is Jack Reacher?" "Jack Reacher, born Jack, not John, no middle name, is a ghost." "No driver's license, current or expired." "No residence, current or former." "No credit cards, no credit history." "No P.O. box, cell phone, e-mail." "Nothing." "Can you at least tell me who he is?" "Well, I can tell you who he was." "Blood military." "Born and raised on bases abroad." "Mother was a French national, father in the Corps." "His first trip to the United States was to attend West Point." "Four years later, he ships out for good." "Iraq." "Afghanistan." "The Balkans." "You name it." "Served with distinction." "Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit." "Defence Superior Service Medal?" "Had to look that one up." "And a Purple Heart." "He spent the bulk of his service in the Military Police." "By all accounts, a brilliant investigator." "Apparently, a troublemaker, too." "Demoted to Captain." "Worked his way back to Major." "Then two years ago, he musters out." "After a literal lifetime in the military, he just up and quits." "And then, for only the second time in his life, he enters the United States and simply disappears." "Dead, maybe?" "Not according to Social Security and a bank account in Virginia." "His pension is deposited monthly and someone is making the occasional withdrawal." "All wire transfers." "I can't find out where without a federal warrant." "Well, he can't drive or fly." "At least not under his real name." " Any warrants?" " Record's clean." "Oh, come on!" "A guy this hard to find?" "Gotta be wanted for something." "His record is clean." "So." "How do we find this Reacher?" "Obviously, you don't find this guy unless he wants to be found." "Excuse me, sir." "There's a Jack Reacher here to see you." "Can I help you?" "James Barr." "So, now you've seen him." "How do you know him?" "Why wasn't he in protective custody?" "That was an oversight." "More like some Corrections flunky threw him to the wolves." "Just as likely." "But it's done and we can't undo it." "So what happens now?" "Well, now he's in a coma." "We'll try him when he wakes up." "If he wakes up." "Okay?" "Now it's your turn, Reacher." "Why did he call you as a witness?" "I don't believe he did." "Well, I believe he asked for you by name." "Any chance I could look at the evidence?" "No way." "Not till you answer some questions." "Nice meeting you." " Hey." "Hey." "Hey!" " Mr Reacher." " Mr Reacher!" " Hey, stop!" "Stop right there!" "We had a deal." "I take you to Barr, you tell me what you know." "I know you say he shot five people, I know he's in a coma." "I know there's a bus station three miles away and I can walk there in 24 minutes." "So you're just going to walk out on your friend?" " He's not my friend." " Why'd he ask for you, then?" "Well, same reason he shot five people, he's crazy." "Hey." "Hold on." "Don't do that." "Well, this is a new low, even for both of you." "Uh-oh." "You do not talk to my client without me present." "You know that." "We weren't talking to your client." "He's in a coma, for Christ's sakes." " You're Barr's attorney?" " Helen Rodin, Jack Reacher." " Jack Reacher?" " Helen Rodin." "Yeah, she's the District Attorney's daughter." "It's a good story, actually." "I'd like to hear it." "How'd you find him?" "How'd they find you?" "You can't be talking to this man." "Two strikes in one day." " It's not what it looks like." " He came to us." " You went to the D.A.?" " Ls there a law against that?" "None you're currently breaking." "Come on, before this gets awkward." "Now, hey." "Say, "See you in court." For me." "Goodbye, Detective." " Weird meeting you." " Likewise." "Let's go." "So..." "So, you're Jack Reacher." " So you're the D.A.'s daughter." " Oh, Jesus." "Please." " Is that even legal?" " Fortunately." " How does that happen?" " I'll tell you after deposition." "You don't want to depose me." "Oh, well, you're my only defence witness." " I'm not a defence witness." " Your friend James thinks you are." "He's not my friend." "Why does everyone assume that?" "Well, why else would he ask for you and why would you come here to help him?" "I didn't come here to help him." "I came here to bury him." "Linsky." "Who the hell is Jack Reacher?" " So why are you so hard to find?" " I'm impossible to find." "Why is that?" "Well, you could say it started out as an exercise and became an addiction." "Are you on the run?" "My bus is leaving." "You better hurry, counsellor." "How do you know James Barr?" " Why are you representing him?" " I'm a lawyer." "So is a public defender, with just as much chance of clearing Barr." "I'm not trying to clear him," "I am just trying to keep him off death row." " By proving he's insane?" " Well, that's one option." "And sticking it to your father because..." "No." "Not my father." "The Office of the District Attorney." "Because the Office of the District Attorney never bought you a pony." "D.A. Rodin's never lost a capital case." "You know why?" "Impeccable tailoring." " He never picks a fight he can't win." " Worked for the Red Baron." "Every murder suspect in this town is given a choice." "Confess or face death." "Against a D.A. who never loses." "My firm has reason to believe more than one innocent man has gone down without a fight." "Oh, I get it." "You're an idealist." "No." "I'm a pacifist." "It's a noble crusade." "But this is not the fight." "Trust me." "James Barr's guilty." "You haven't even seen the evidence." "Is this a privileged conversation?" "Of course, it's a client conference." "Nothing you say here can be repeated." "There are four types of people who join the military." "For some, it's a family trade." "Others are patriots, eager to serve." "Next, you have those who just need a job." "Then there's the kind who want a legal means of killing other people." "James Barr was one of those." "He made sniper." "Trained hard." "Two thousand rounds a week." "And with every shot, he's taught to visualise the base of a man's skull through his reticle." "The sweet spot where the medulla meets the spine." "Visualise that puff of pink mist." "Finally, he's deployed to Iraq." "He's put on overwatch." "All day long he stares through a scope at civilians." "Women." "Children." "Day in, day out, for two long years without ever once being cleared to fire a single shot." "Then comes the drawdown." "For James Barr, the war's over." "Two thousand rounds a week." "A quarter million rounds in his career, not one at a human target." "You've been hungry." "You've been horny." "You've had an itch you can't scratch." "Imagine that feeling." "Days." "Weeks." "Years." "Imagine that feeling times 200, 000, plus 50, 000 more." "Imagine it's 130 degrees on the deck and tomorrow you're going home and you know if you don't scratch that itch now, you never will." "You need a release." "You need a target." "And the who of it never once enters your mind." "He covered his tracks well, just like sane people do." "He almost got away with it, too." "But I caught him." "And he confessed." "So why didn't he go to prison?" "What Barr didn't know that day was the four civilian contractors he'd picked off just spent the weekend at what they call a rape-rally." "It was 28 women, ages 54 on down to 11." "Those were just the ones I could find before the case was shut down." "See, the deeper I dug, the uglier it got." "And after seven long years of "Mission Accomplished,"" "someone in the corporation just wanted the whole thing to end quietly." "So they chalked it up to the fog of war, made the murders go away." "This is classified information." "And that's why the privilege." "But you were ready to tell this to the D.A." "The last time I saw Barr, I made him a promise." "And when I saw his name on the news, I came here to keep it." " But now I know I don't have to." " How can you be sure?" "You still haven't seen the evidence." "Your father has." "And he doesn't pick a fight he can't win." "Barr's not getting away with murder again." "He might." "He suffered a severe brain injury in state custody." "When he wakes up, if he wakes up, he may not remember the event, he may not remember anything at all." "And this case won't be about James Barr's guilt or innocence." "It'll be about his ability to stand trial." "After everything I just told you, you still want to defend him?" "I want to see he gets a fair trial." "You said he confessed in Baghdad." "He didn't confess this time." " This time he knows better." " This time he asked for you." "I want to know why." "You want to know why." "I can see it's eating you." "And you can't ask Barr, and the D.A. won't let you see the evidence." "My lead investigator has complete access to the evidence." "All of it." " So where's your lead investigator?" " About to catch a bus out of town." "Thanks for the coffee, counsellor." "You understand you're not just asking me to look at the evidence." "You're asking me to look at a cold-blooded killer." "A man I know to be guilty." "A man you want to keep off death row." "And you're asking me to look at him objectively." "Yes, that is what I'm asking." "I'll do it." "On one condition." "Name it." "You have to look at the victims objectively." "How do you suggest I do that?" " Yes?" " Mr Farrior?" "I'm Helen Rodin." "We spoke on the phone." "Of course." "You said you're defending the man that ki..." "That man." "I represent James Barr, yes." "And you have questions about my daughter?" "I do." "What for?" "I was hoping to get a better sense of who the victims were as..." "That is to say, who they were as people." "As human beings." "That's a bit unusual, considering your position, isn't it?" "That is true." "Normally someone in my position would want the jury to know as little as possible about the..." "The people that your client killed." "In cold blood." "Have you spoken with the other families?" "Yeah, some." "The ones who would speak with me." "Come in." "Thank you." "Chrissie was a nanny." "She had a little girl with her that day." "Yes, I know." "Are you gonna go talk with that child?" "No, of course not." "I..." "Why not?" " Well, I think it would be..." "Insensitive?" "Inappropriate?" "Everything that you want to know about my daughter is right here." "The Gazette did a nice piece on her." "Her obituary does the rest." "Thank you." "I'll definitely have a look." "You a good attorney, Miss Rodin?" " That's not really for me to..." " Just answer the question." "Yes, I suppose I am pretty good." "Good enough to keep that man off death row?" "You know," "I think maybe I should go." "You stay where you are." "That man deserves to die, Miss Rodin." "Why would you defend him?" "I can see that I have made a terrible mistake." "And I'm very, very sorry and I promise I won't bother you again." "Hello, Dad." "What the hell are you doing?" "What am I..." "What?" "Is it true?" "You're talking to the victims' families?" "You?" "Alone?" "How do you know that?" "How did you find me here?" "I'm the District Attorney." "It's my business to know." "That's not an answer." "Oh." "Well, you're not the only one with crack investigators, Helen." "That's right." "I know about Reacher." "Your lead investigator is a war veteran who's been missing for the last two years." "How can you vouch for his state of mind?" "How can you trust anything he tells you?" "You don't know the man." "Tell me this, does he know you can't pay him?" "That your own firm didn't want this case?" "That nobody wants this case?" "You never even spoke to your client before he wound up in a coma." "Oh, now listen to me!" "Listen." "Listen, I'm speaking as your father." "Whatever our differences have been in the past, you gotta listen to me now." "You're making a terrible mistake." "You cannot win this case." "You're going to ruin your career." "Why?" "For what?" "To hurt me?" "To change me?" " Helen..." " Don't touch me!" "Thanks for letting me take a look." "Hey." "We love it when friends of the accused try to tear our work to shreds." "He's not my friend." "So you keep saying." "Find any holes?" "Well, you didn't have to put him in the hospital." "Other than that, damn fine police work." "It's open and shut." "What can I say?" "The scene was a gold mine." "Come on." "Now we both know gold's only as good as the man digging." "Yeah, well, anytime you want to come back, take a look at this stuff..." "No, thanks." "Don't need to." "You never took any notes." "Oh, I don't need to." "So you were some real hot shit in the Army, huh?" "I did all right." "So what does an Army cop do mostly?" "Break up bar fights?" "I did what you do pretty much, with one minor difference." "What's that?" "Every suspect was a trained killer." "Thanks again." "Why do you think he paid for parking?" "Pardon?" "He's about to fire six shots into a crowd of strangers." "And he's worried about the meter maid?" ""Simple loony" won't do it for you?" "I like to have at least one alternate theory." "Huh." "Habit." "Muscle memory." "I don't think he knew he was doing it." "Like I said, it's damn fine work." "Hey, Army." "What's the serial number on the rifle?" "What's the date on the quarter?" "1968." "Forest for the trees, Detective." "Forest for the trees." "Mind if I share your table?" "I'm Sandy." "So was I. Last week." "On a beach, in Florida." "What's your name?" "Jimmie Reese." "You don't look like a Jimmie." "What do I look like?" "I don't know." "But not a Jimmie." "Hmm." "So you're new in town?" "Usually." "It's kind of loud in here." "Do you want to maybe go someplace quieter?" "I have a car." "You're old enough to drive?" "I'm old enough to do a lot of things." "I'm on a budget, Sandy." "What?" "I can't afford you." "I'm not a hooker." "Oh, then I really can't afford you." "Seriously, I work at the auto parts store." "What I mean is, the cheapest woman tends to be the one you pay for." "I am not a hooker!" "No." "A hooker would get the joke." " What's this?" " He called me a whore." "Is that true?" "Well, nobody said whore." "She inferred hooker, but I meant slut." "Hey." "That's our sister." "Is she a good kisser?" "Hey." "Outside." "Pay your cheque first." "I'll pay later." "You won't be able to." "You think?" "All the time." "You should try it." "It's a great joke, but I'm going to beat your ass." "Do you want to do that here or outside?" "Outside." "Stay here, Sandy." "I don't mind the sight of blood." "When it means you're not pregnant, anyway." "You still think you're funny now, creep?" "Shut your mouth, Sandy!" "No one is talking to you." "It's your last chance to walk away." "Are you kidding?" "It's five against one." "It's three against one." "How do you figure?" "Well, once I take out the leader, which is you," "I'll have to contend with one or two enthusiastic wingmen." "The last two guys, they always run." "Oh, you've done this before?" "Yeah." "It's getting late." "Remember, you wanted this." "It's okay." "You're okay." "Get up." "Okay." "Now we know who's who." "Let's get this done." "Really?" "Shit!" "On the ground!" "That's a pretty impressive response time, fellas." "Do it!" "Hands behind your back." "Who hired you?" "Let's go." "Hey, Helen." "Am I wearing too much perfume?" "Breathing too sternly." "Detective Emerson." " Somebody dead?" " And if someone is?" "Then they died of shame." "'Cause I was being gentle." "I'm starting to understand why you move around a lot, Reacher." "So no one's dead." "One guy likely won't ever walk right again." " You want to charge me." " Very much." "But no one's pressing." "Sadly, no." "Am I free to go?" "Hey, Emerson." "4862681." "What's that?" "It's the serial number on Barr's rifle." "You're working for me, do you understand that?" "So everything you do is a reflection on my firm." "On me." "I was set up." "You're talking to a lawyer." "There was this girl." "She came onto me." "Picked a fight." "Which never happens in a bar." "She was thrown when I told her my name." "She was expecting Mike Tyson?" "She wasn't expecting Jimmie Reese." "Yankees second baseman." "Why did you say you were a Yankees second baseman?" "I always use Yankees second basemen." "I didn't say I was a Yankees second baseman, I just said..." "Look, the point is, she was expecting to hear "Jack Reacher."" "She knew who I was." "And the cops were rolling before the fight even started." "And those five guys are her brothers?" "Come on." "Someone sent those boys to put me down." "Who?" "If someone followed you at the river today, it was probably a cop." "And I highly doubt..." "There are three things cops never do." "They don't vote Democrat, they don't drive Cadillacs, and they never use personal vehicles." "It's not a cop." "A P.I., then, or the D.A.'s office." "You think your father's office would set me up?" "Why would anyone set you up?" "How was your day?" "It went exactly the way I think you hoped it would." "You okay?" "Mmm-hmm." "What'd you learn?" "Chrissie Farrior was 22." "A nanny caring for the six-year-old daughter of family friends." "She'd finally saved enough money for a trip to China, in fact, she should have left the week before." "But the girl she cared for wanted Chrissie to stay for her 7th birthday." "They'd gone downtown that day to shop for a party dress." "Rita Coronado worked as a cleaning lady at the River Cross Plaza." "She was usually late for work, but she had a good reason." "Since her son Marco was nine years old she had to personally drop him at school to make sure he actually went." "But her dedication had paid off." "Marco was now an honour student." "As a reward for all his hard work," "Rita was taking him to his first baseball game." "And she was on her way to pick up the tickets that very afternoon." "Nancy Holt's last words to her husband were a lie." " I love you, babe." "See you!" " Bye." "She told him she was taking her car to be serviced, but in fact, she was headed downtown." "It's perfect." "She told the clerk she didn't want the purchase showing up on her credit card." "She wanted to surprise her husband for their 10th anniversary" " just a few clays away." " Thank you." "Oline Archer never liked her husband's construction business, even after helping him become one of the largest contractors in the county." "So it came as a relief when his failing health and a costly lawsuit were forcing them to sell to the competition." "Rob?" "Help!" "Help!" "Her husband had given his life for the company." "But now that it was hers, she couldn't bring herself to let it go." "She was on her way to secure a loan that day so she could keep the business she'd always hated." "Darren Sawyer was an investment broker in the same building where Rita worked." "His wife said he'd grown increasingly distant of late." "She can't remember their last words to one another, but they weren't kind." "Darren's body was found beside a fresh bouquet of roses he'd bought that morning and his wife takes comfort in the fact that, in his last moments, he was most likely thinking of her." "We're gonna be okay." "We're gonna be okay." "We're gonna be okay." "We're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay." "So what'd you learn?" "You want me to say you were right." "You want me to say that this isn't the fight." "James Barr should die." "Maybe he should." "I meant, what did you learn about the victims." "What more do you want?" "They were five innocent people senselessly murdered." "I'm sorry." "Could you please put a shirt on?" "This is my shirt." "You lose your luggage?" "I don't have any luggage." "Uh, what was I saying?" " Five innocent people." " Murdered at random, yes." "You know how many people die in this country every year?" "Two and a half million." "That means every day, roughly 7,000 average Americans wake up for the last time." "Last Friday, five of them converged on a single spot and died together." "Is that random?" "What else would you call it?" "Well, take Darren and Nancy." "Odds are they were having an affair." "Excuse me?" "You don't buy roses for your wife on the way to work." "You buy them on the way home." "And you don't worry about a charge showing up on your credit card when your anniversary is that weekend." "Unless it's the gift you're hiding." "And that's why she kept walking while everyone else ran." "You can't prove that." "How hard would it be?" "Cell phones, e-mails." "All it takes is someone willing to dig." "What's your point exactly?" "My point is that two of the victims weren't there strictly by chance." "I need a list of Barr's known associates." "There isn't one." "He didn't have any." "He's a classic loner." "He didn't even talk to his neighbours." "He was a quiet man." "Never bothered anyone." "Yeah, exactly." " You have his credit card statement?" " I can get it." "Why?" "I need the list of all the places he hung out." "Bars, bowling alleys, strip clubs, gun ranges." "Anywhere someone would remember him." "What do we hope to find?" "I need some sleep." "You, too." "You don't really think I'm gonna..." "Be back to pick me up at 7:00." "Yep." "Absolutely." "Who's with you?" "What happened?" "Oh, that's him, isn't it?" "I ain't seeing you, man!" "Relax." "What happened?" "Barr's attorney hired an investigator." "Name of Reacher." "Some sort of top-shelf Army cop." "He was in Baghdad the same time as Barr." "So?" "So Barr asked for this soldier by name." "Then he shows up at the river today." "Then up on the highway." "Almost like he knew something." "And you said we don't like people asking questions." "No, we sure don't." "So I took steps." "You took steps." "Local people." "My guys." "And it blew back on you." "I figured five guys would do it." "Mmm." "This franchise was yours to manage." "That's all." "Maintenance is our thing, you understand?" "Yeah, I understand." "I couldn't reach you!" "Well, that's how this works." "Well, I had to make a decision!" " These locals, I want their names." " It's in the file." "Any of them know who you are?" "Just one, but I took care of it." "You..." " Where's the body?" " It's distributed." "Relax!" "No one's gonna find it." " Suppose we want it found, yeah?" " Why the hell would you want it found?" "'Cause we got a way of doing things so they stay done." "Clean!" "A missing person isn't clean." "Christ's sakes, man." "You only had to kill one goddamn person." "You tapped five!" "You call that clean?" "I call it done." "They're looking at the shooter, not the target." "Jesus." "We make it messy now so it won't get messy later." "And we don't leave questions unanswered ever." "Okay, all right." "Okay." "I can fix this." " Open your eyes." " No, I ain't seeing you!" "It makes no difference now." "I made a mistake." "I mean, you can still use me, just tell me how to fix..." "To survive." "Don't say "fix it," because you can't." "We covered up the one mess." "You made another." "All right." "You're right." "You're right." "You're absolutely right." "I'm sorry." "Just tell me what I have to do." "I was in prison in Siberia." "I spent my first winter wearing a dead man's coat." "A hole in one pocket." "I chewed these fingers off before the frostbite could turn to gangrene." "These I gave up to avoid working in the sulphur mine." "That is how I survived when so many others did not." "A man this rare can always be of use." "So show me." "Show me you are rare." "Show me you'll do anything to survive." "I don't understand." "The fingers from your left hand." "Have you..." "Have you got a knife?" "Did I have a knife in Siberia?" "No..." "Come on, you've got to be kidding." "You can do it." "Show me." "Christ!" "Can't!" "I can't." "Always the bullet." " I can't!" " I don't understand." "What do we do about the soldier?" "What we always do." "Barr's credit card statement." "Eyewitness testimonies." "Coffee." "You take it black, right?" "Yeah." "What can I say?" "I take my work home." "Afraid Barr's credit card statement's a dead end." "No bars, no strip joints, nothing." "Pretty much just gas and groceries." "I need you to look for gun ranges between 100 and 150 miles from here." "Limit your search to ranges longer than 300 yards." "Sure, if you tell me why." "Barr consistently filled his tank on Saturday, and again on Sunday." "He took a long drive almost every weekend." " He could be going anywhere." " Yes." "And if it's bars, bowling alleys or strip clubs, we'll never find it." "But a Match-level gun range?" "There might be two." "And he made his own bullets." "That means he shot a lot." "I'm guessing every Saturday." "Maybe with a friend." "Why is it so important you talk to his friends?" "Assuming he had any." "Drop me at the auto parts store." "I..." "Wait." "Which one?" "I don't know." "She just said "the auto parts store."" "She?" "Who?" "Reacher, can you be a little more specific?" "I didn't say "an auto parts store."" "Which one stands out in your mind as the auto parts store?" "You want me to wait?" " No, I'll meet you back at the office later." " How will you get there?" "I'll hitch a ride." "Can I help you?" "Sandy work here?" "What's this about?" "So she does, thanks." "I need to speak with her." "It's a personal matter." " She's on the clock." " Legal personal matter." "What are you, a cop?" "Call her out, Gary." " I'm gonna need to see some I.D." " Go get Sandy." "Well, I need to see something." "How about the inside of an ambulance?" "Okay, I'm calling the police." "I don't think Sandy wants the police involved..." " Hello?" " ... but let's ask." "Hey!" "You..." "Hello?" "I need some help." "Hello?" "Hey!" "You!" "No." "You are not allowed back in here, man!" "Shit." "You know this guy?" "Tell him." "Give us a few, Gary." "Listen, I wasn't..." "I didn't know." "I didn't know that was going to happen!" "It was Jeb." "The big guy" "Jeb Oliver." "He told me you were a predator." "You were supposed to start groping me." "Just don't hurt me." "Sandy, sit down." "Where can I find Jeb?" "I don't know." "He didn't come to work today." "So he works here." "Yeah." "It's bullshit, though." "He cooks crystal." "His address, write it down." "I'm really sorry, mister." "You were supposed to be a pervert." "And it was an easy 100 bucks." "That's all?" "When Jeb asks, you do what he says." "Am I in trouble?" "Not if you lend me your car." " I don't have a car." " Well, sure you do." "It's outside." "I'm guessing you're the Camaro." "That whimsy little pickup has Gary written all over it." "Keys?" "I can't." "It's Jeb's car!" "Well, won't he be surprised when I drive it home for him." "Who are you, mister?" "Really?" "I'm just a guy who wants to be left alone." "I get off work at six!" "Maybe we could..." "Sandy, listen." "Now, you seem like a sweet girl." "You're pretty." "You're obviously sharp, doing Gary's books for him." "You don't have to let these guys use you." "It's just what girls like me do." "You got money?" "A little." "Get out of town for a couple of days." "Why?" "Get out of town, Sandy." "Is Jeb home?" "I have a warrant to search the premises." "I see." "Well, if you don't mind..." "Get him!" "Get him!" "Get him!" "I got this!" "Okay, okay." "All right." "Don't move." "I'll tell you what." "When I move, you pull the trigger." "Aah!" " Where's Jeb?" " He's not here." "Where can I find him?" "Jesus!" "My hand!" "Well, you shouldn't play with guns." "Where can I find him?" " You're the one driving his car." " You tell..." "The last I saw him, we was all leaving jail." "He said he had to see a guy." " What guy?" "Who?" " I don't know." "I don't know, I swear." "Next I know, his mom woke up from a bender and his shit's all gone." "Is he the sort to light out like that?" "No, no, man." "He'd never leave his moms alone." "Shit ain't right." " Got a car?" " It's outside." "Keys." "My hand, man." "They're in my pock..." "Aah!" "Okay, okay." "Now look at your friends." "Now look at my face." "Do you ever want to see me again?" "No way." "Am I stealing your car?" "Use it as long as you like." "You're very kind." "Ah!" "I think Jeb Oliver's dead." " Who's Jeb Oliver?" " He was the guy from the bar." "Jesus, how hard did you hit him?" "What?" "No, not me." "No, he was murdered." "And someone tried to make it look like he left town." "Well, maybe he just left town." "You pack your shower curtain when you travel?" "Is this what you base your conclusions on?" "What is that on your head?" "Uh..." "You don't want to know." "You said on the phone you wanted to submit your findings." "James Barr was a sniper." "Not the best, not the worst." "But he trained non-stop for two years." "What does training like that do?" "What does any training do?" "Skills become reflex." "Muscle memory." "You do without thinking." "It also makes people who aren't necessarily smart seem smart by beating some tactical awareness into them." "Now, 99% of the evidence your father has against Barr didn't exist in Baghdad, not because Barr was smart, but because he was trained." "See, from that garage, the shooter had the sun in his eyes." "Targets were moving left and right." "It's difficult conditions for any sniper." "But Baghdad, you said Barr was in a parking garage then." "Because in Baghdad, the sun's behind him." "Targets coming straight ahead, single file." "Ideal conditions for even an average shooter and the exact same conditions he would've had up on that highway bridge." "Up there, he would never even have to get out of the van." "No parking meter." "No camera." "No trace evidence left behind." "And his escape is assured." "Now, I'm not saying that he couldn't have killed those people at the river, but he wouldn't have." "Not that way." " So you're saying he's crazy." " No." "Well, what exactly are you saying?" "Any single piece of evidence I'd buy." "But all of it?" "Fibres, fingerprints, stray brass, I mean..." "And who the hell pays for parking?" "Sane or crazy, that just doesn't make sense." "Okay." "So Barr, he wanted to get caught and he wanted you to catch him." "That would not explain how Barr, an average shooter firing in poor conditions, never missed." "He did miss." "He did." "A pristine bullet, conveniently trapped by a liquid backstop." "The same bullet that tied Barr's gun to the killings." "And arguably the prosecution's single most important piece of evidence." "If Barr wanted to get caught, he didn't miss." "Either way, it doesn't make sense." "If he wanted to get away with it, he likely would have and if he wanted to get caught," "Barr was incapable of such perfection." "Or maybe he just got lucky, six shots out of six." "That's what I was willing to accept, then those guys took a run at me." "Whoever sent them made a mistake." "It was just a bar fight." "Maybe." "Or maybe someone got nervous, tried to run me off." "Or put me in a coma, right next to their patsy." "Patsy?" "It was such a great crime scene." "No one stopped to think it might be too great." "Not Emerson." "Not your father." "Not even Barr's own defence attorney." "But Barr knew I would, no matter how much I wanted it to be true." "That's why he asked for me." "Wait." "Are you suggesting..." "James Barr is innocent." "You can see what this is, can't you?" "You've got a case in your hands that may be the last case you'll ever have" "and you'll do anything not to hit the bottom of it." "Helen." "You know, you never should have retired." "Just, look." "Listen." "For all I know, you were standing at an intersection with a cardboard sign three days ago." "And I hired you." "Jesus, my father was right." " Helen." "Helen." " It makes total sense now." "It's the way you live, the way you move around." "You're just not cut out for the real world, are you?" "Are you afraid you'll end up like Barr?" " Helen." " Is that what this is?" "Look out the window." "No, I have work to do." " And you need to leave." " Just humour me." "Okay." "Let go of me." " Would you tell me what you see?" " I see the same things I see every day." "Well, imagine you've never seen it." "Imagine you've spent your whole life in other parts of the world being told every day you're defending freedom." "And finally you decide you've had enough." "Time to see what you've given up your whole life for." "Maybe get some of that freedom for yourself." "Look at the people." "Now tell me which ones are free." "Free from debt." "Anxiety." "Stress." "Fear." "Failure." "Indignity." "Betrayal." "How many wish they were born knowing what they know now?" "Ask yourself how many would do things the same way all over again?" "And how many would live their lives like me?" "Now look at the silver Audi across the street, the one that's been following me all day." "What does that prove?" "Here's the tag number." "How long would it take you to run it?" "At this time of night?" "I don't know." "An hour?" "Do it." "Do it, and then I'll leave." "When?" "No, this is my problem now." "I'll handle it." "Yeah?" "You're blown." "The lawyer's running the license plates." "Yeah." "So do it?" "Done." "Go to this address." "All right, let's just say that Barr didn't do it." "Or did it 'cause someone put him up to it." "Either way, what have you got?" "Conspiracy." "Yeah, conspiracy to kill five random people?" "There's no motive." " It's ridiculous, right?" " It's grassy knoll ludicrous." "No point looking any further." "Exactly." "Exactly." "What's this?" "The motive." "Just hold onto it." "What are we playing, Clue?" "Yeah?" "Give it to me." "Thank you." "You sure that car was following you all day?" "As soon as you picked me up." "Why?" "It's registered to a company called Lebendauer Enterprises." "A conspiracy to kill five random people?" "That's ridiculous." "Four." "Four random people." "To hide one specific target." "Someone needed Oline Archer's construction business." "And Oline wouldn't let it go." "It's a convincing theory." "But it's just a theory." "The first round is the least accurate." "The snipers call it a cold shot." "Meanwhile, your eyewitness described a pause between the first and second rounds." "The one shot where the killer took his time." "And Oline Archer was the second victim." "The one shot that mattered." "But it's just a theory." "This frame was custom made for Barr." "Whoever chose him knew about Baghdad and the only one who could have told him about Baghdad was Barr himself." "He has at least one friend." "A very close one." "Now, you find that friend, you'll find the real shooter." "Find the real shooter?" "Reacher, my job is to present the jury with reasonable doubt." "Period." "What about catching the guys who really did this?" " Catching the guys who did this?" " Bringing them to justice?" " No, I can't take this to court." " Exposing the truth." "Even if I believed Barr is innocent, it's not my job." "I am just a lawyer." "I'm not a cop." "And frankly, neither are you." "I can't do this any more." "Thanks for the coffee, counsellor." "Sandy?" "Wait, it is Sandy, isn't it?" "Do I know you?" "Charlie." "Jeb's friend?" "Oh, come on, don't break my heart." "I'm sorry, I don't remember." "Well, we were both pretty wasted." "Oh." "Yeah." " What, you live here?" " Just up there." "No shit." "I just moved in around the back!" "How crazy is that?" "It's wild." "Yeah." "Wow!" "You look great." "Thanks." "Well, look, you know, I don't want to keep you, so..." "Maybe we can grab a drink sometime." "Yeah, maybe." "Hey, how about tonight?" "I'm meeting some people." "Okay." "Well, some other time, then." "Some other time." "Do it here." "What?" "Reacher!" "There's a gun range in Ohio, targets out to 700 yards." "The only range that matches your requirements." "You should sleep." "You have a long drive tomorrow, and I need to go to city hall and pull up Oline's legal history." "I wouldn't do that." "Not till I get back." "If I'm right, someone killed four random people so no one would look directly at Oline." "And if I'm right, just saying her name could get you killed." " You saying I should be scared?" " Well, are you smart?" "Obviously." "Then don't be scared." "What exactly am I looking for?" "Someone who could kill that girl with one punch." "Oh, you want the guy in 1109." "Ernie Johnson." "You'll see." "Out of the car!" "That's our suspect!" "Move, move!" "Suspect is headed north on State Route 65." "I need backup and air support." "Hold up!" "All clear!" "Oh, God, I just don't believe it." "I don't believe it!" "I issued the warrant an hour ago." "According to the victim's boss," "Reacher was seen at her place of work this morning." "Where he threatened her boss." "The car he was driving tonight belonged to a friend of Jeb Oliver's." "The man he assaulted." "No, those guys assaulted Reacher." "Reacher put three more men in the hospital this afternoon at Jeb Oliver's place." "After arriving in Jeb Oliver's car." "And Jeb hasn't been seen since he left the hospital." "Helen, if you know where Reacher is, you need to tell us." "I don't know where he is." "I have not seen him since he left my office a few hours ago." " I think she's telling the truth." " Oh, you think, Dad?" "Fuck you!" "Hey, I told you not to go near him." "You come into my home and you treat me like I'm an accessory!" " Please!" "You know..." " All right." "All right." "Come on." "Enough." " Look, let me handle it." " I'm not done." "You're both done." "Just get out." "This is Helen." "I'm guessing the police are there?" "Yep." "By your response I'm guessing I have about 30 seconds before you hand them the phone." "If that." "If you believe someone could frame Barr, you have to believe they could do the same to me." "I suppose that's possible." "She was a sweet kid, Helen." "And they killed her because of me." "They want me to run." "But I won't." " I'm going to finish this." " No, that's not a good idea." "Listen." "Two things." "One, I, uh..." "I stole your car." "If you want to end this, just hang up the phone and report it missing." "And I'll understand." "And anything else?" "I thought I'd be pushing it if I mentioned this earlier." "Now I guess all bets are off." "You need to watch what you say to Emerson and your father." "I think one of them is in on it." "All right." "Thanks for calling." "I have to go." "Wait." "I've been followed from day one." "Only three people knew I was here." "Emerson, your father and you." "You need to ask yourself, who has the most to lose if we clear Barr?" "Who tried to warn you off me?" "Of course, I could be wrong." "If you think I am, just hand over the phone." "There's no sense getting any deeper." "Who's that you're talking to?" "The office." "Are we done?" "Helen, listen." " We need to..." " Good night." "You got some fine shooters here." "Fine as frog's hair." "Rarer, too." "'Cause most of them fellas out there can't shoot worth a damn." "You ask them to put three rounds in the black, well, they'll suck it." " I'm looking for the owner." " That'd be me." "Martin Cash." "Aaron Ward." "What can I do you for, Mr Ward?" "Ward?" "Yeah." "I'm looking for a friend of mine." "We served in Iraq." "The guy just dropped off the grid, you know?" " It happens." "Yep." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Anyway, he was a shooter." "Last I heard, he lived around here somewhere and I..." "When did he get out of the Army?" "Well, I didn't say the Army." "Well, you said you served with him." "You're no jarhead." "Man on a flying horse could see that." "Well, my father was in the Corps, if that helps." "Well, that makes you half human." "Your friend got a name?" "Yeah." "James Barr." "James Barr." "Never heard of him." "I think you have." "I think you've been dreading the moment some cop comes in here asking after him." "Because it's for sure some soccer mom around here is more worried about your range than she is about the pool in her backyard or the drain cleaner under her sink." "Wouldn't matter to her if Barr did his killing 100 miles away, only that he came here to rehearse." "She'd have a case to shut you down and nothing better to do." "What do you want?" "I want to know who Barr's friends were." "Those boys out there, they're mighty touchy when it comes to their constitutional rights." "Suppose I tell them a cop is in here asking after my members?" " I'm not a cop." " What are you?" "I work for Barr's attorney." "We have reason to believe he's innocent." "The hell you say." "Be that as it may, I'm the only one who's bothered to track him this far." "You help me out, I'll be in your debt." "And if I don't?" "Maybe you can coach soccer." "You put three in the centre and maybe we'll talk." "Can I have a few to warm up?" "Six inches right." "That's your mulligan, Mr Ward." "Play ball!" "Let's go." "You're a little rusty, Mr Reacher." "I saw a man by that name shoot for the Wimbledon Cup, what, ten years ago." "And I'm pretty sure you never played second base for the Yankees in 1925." "Now," "I'll answer one question." "Who's your best shooter?" "James Barr." "I pulled all these down as soon as I heard about the shooting." "That's the best shot" "I ever seen this side of civilian life." "Suppose I told you Barr wasn't this good on his best day in the Army." "I handed out those targets myself." "That's my scrawl on every one." "Do you hang them downrange, too?" "What, are you serious?" "I'm saying it's possible that Barr had a friend." "One who switched the targets on the range." "Maybe Barr let him." "Made him feel like King Shit having his name up on your wall." "I never saw one real shooter who would do that for his own mother." "Unless he was framing his mother for multiple murder and using your range to do it." "Barr didn't come alone, did he?" "You know, one of these nuts is likely to kill you, they find that camera, there." "Hell, the camera's there 'cause one of these nuts is likely to kill me." "There's Barr." "I always liked him." "Always liked him." "There." "Him." "That son of a bitch." "Helen Rodin speaking." "Got a candidate for our shooter." "Picture, possible prints and one pissed-off eyewitness." "I can't talk right now." "Just give me three hours to get back." "And don't talk to anyone until I get there." "I'll look into that, thanks." "This is just what I could pull this morning." "Tax records, city and state permit applications, contract bids." "Shell corporation in Georgia." "That's the one next to Russia, not Florida." "They work one city at a time, acquiring a local construction concern just ahead of major civic redevelopment." "They build bridges no one needs." "Highways no one uses." "They're like a cancer." "A cell that won't stop growing." "They moved 12 times in 15 years." "Atlanta, Albuquerque," "Austin, Oklahoma City, Sacramento." "Always amidst allegations of corruption including millions of dollars in missing public funds." "And yet never an investigation." "Never even an inquiry." "It's as if Lebendauer Enterprises were above reproach." "Well, maybe that's because the allegations come from the competition." "Outbid." "Bitter." "Like Oline Archer." "Or maybe Lebendauer has the cooperation of key officials." "And maybe when that cooperation isn't enough, they kill people who won't be bought off." "Like Oline Archer." "Helen, how much of this do you honestly believe?" "It doesn't matter how much I believe." "It doesn't even matter how much I can prove." "It only matters how much is true." "Do you know how delusional you sound?" "What happened to you?" "Are you really so set on putting this man to death that you'd ignore..." "I pulled all of this paper under my own name." "If Jack Reacher's right, my life, your daughter's life, is in danger now." "Whatever happens to me next is on your head, whether you're involved or not." "You are the District Attorney and I've given you compelling evidence to investigate Lebendauer Enterprises." "Your next move will tell me which side you're on." "Oh." "I see." "It's a test." "Well, this may be hard for you to believe, but I do love you." "And obviously I'm not going to turn a blind eye, no matter how absurd I find all of this." "So, if you really believe that you're in danger, if you believe that," "then the next order of business, is to put you in protective custody right now." "And how safe will I be if you're part of it?" "Jesus, Helen." "Oh." "Hey." "Business meeting or personal?" "Hard to tell them apart." "I'll bet." "Helen?" "No." "Sorry, wrong number." "Is this Reacher?" "Who is this?" "Is this Reacher?" "It's you." "The guy from the car." "It's your boyfriend." "Reacher, is it you?" "Helen, are you hurt?" "Well, she's gonna be if you're not here in one hour." "Do I have to tell you how this works?" "You'll bounce me around to make sure I'm not followed, then walk me into an ambush and kill me." "Aw, you ruined my surprise." "Well, I can do one better." "I went down to the gun range at Hinge Creek." "I got the picture, prints, and I'm going to the Feds." "The lawyer's all yours." "Get the Zec." "On second thought, I'd like to kill you." "Let's say winner take all." "Listen to me, you prick." "I will kill this bitch if you're not here in one..." "Shit!" "You think I'm a hero?" "I am not a hero." "I'm a drifter with nothing to lose." "You killed that girl to put me in a frame." "I mean to beat you to death and drink your blood from a boot." "Now, this is how it's going to work." "You're gonna give me the address and I'll be along when I am damn good and ready." "If she doesn't answer the phone when I call this number, if I even think you've hurt her," "I disappear." "And if you're smart, that scares you, because I'm in your blind spot and I have nothing better to do." "You got a pen?" "Don't need one." "If I had a dollar for every time the Army called the Corps for help." " You have something for me?" " Yeah." "Here." "You're kidding, right?" "Just because I saw you shoot ten years ago doesn't mean I'll let you kill some asshole with my gun." "I told you how serious this was." "And I showed up, didn't I?" "So let's get to it." "Now, your shooter will be right up there behind those lights." "Okay?" "He can cover both roads coming and going." "And kill you just as soon as you stand up." "Well, can you take him out?" "What, to dinner you mean?" "Look, I don't know the type of people you normally associate with, Reacher." "But I'm not in the habit of driving out to the boonies at the drop of a hat and just picking off some total strangers, all right?" "Anyway, I can't see anything, not with them lights up." "So shoot them out." "Yeah, sure." "And then he knows right where I am." "I might as well set myself on fire." "No, sir." "I'll start shooting when he does." "And how do you propose we get him started?" "Well, you could always start running." "What's wrong with your eye?" "I'm saving my night vision." "Hey, Gunny, you mind if I ask you kind of a personal question?" "What, you don't think I can shoot any more?" "It is a perishable skill." "Yeah, well, the sun will be up in an hour." "Let's get going" "I heard them call you the Zec." "That means "prisoner."" "Yes?" "Tell me, killing all those people," "I have to believe the money you're making can't possibly be enough to just..." "Enough?" "There is no such thing." "We take what can be taken." "This is what we do." "And you?" "This one I think I understand, but you?" "Why'd you do n?" "You make it sound like I had a choice." "Oh, didn't you?" "You'll see." "You should know I've taken steps, that if anything happens..." "If anything happens to you, it will happen in front of your father while he begs for your life." "You should never have involved him." "Now you will have to convince him to forget, for your sake and for his." "You say nothing, but I see defiance in your eyes." "That is a look I have seen many, many times." "When the soldier comes, when you watch how he dies, it will change you." "You will want to forget me then." "Reacher?" "Are you okay?" "They're ready for you." "They'd like to think so." "Don't do this." "Please don't do this." "Not for me." "Listen, Helen, they're not gonna hurt you until they have me." "And that's never going to happen." "You hear me?" "You just hang in there." "'Cause I'm coming to get you." "Now say you believe me." "I believe you." "This was a bad idea." "Any time now, Gunny." "Shit." "Where the hell are you, Gunny?" "Suck it!" "You should go." "Toss it." "I know you're in there, Emerson." "It was staring me right in the face." "The one piece that just didn't fit." "The quarter." "Nobody would have thought to dump that meter." "Not even me." "You were wrong about my father." "I wouldn't make a big thing of it." "Who is he?" "That's John Doe Number Two." "The man on the grassy knoll." "The thing under the bed." "They call him the Zec." "Zec?" "Prisoner." "What's your real name?" "I was born in October." "When I get to my birthday, I'm gonna pull the trigger." "One." "Two." "Chelovek." "Zec Chelovek." "Chelovek?" "Chelovek?" "Human." "Prisoner Human Being." " That's your real name?" " That is all I remember." "Call the police." "Were you really going to shoot him?" "I knew I wouldn't have to." "One look at this guy and you know he'll do anything to survive." "One look at me and you know I'm not bluffing." "Yes, I have an emergency at..." "Yes, I'll hold." "We're in no hurry." "With a name like yours, you're gonna feel right at home." "Prison?" "In America?" "A retirement home." "If I go to prison at all." "You think you're gonna walk?" "You are a homeless drifter wanted for murder." "Meanwhile, I am an old man in the wrong place at the wrong time." "Thanks to you, who is left to say otherwise?" "Who?" "Yes, hello?" "Yes, there's..." "I have an emergency." "We'll see which one of us goes to prison." "There are maybe three, four people dead." " Okay." "My bet?" "Neither one." "What did you do?" "What's it look like?" "What about the truth?" "What about getting the guys who really did this?" "What about bringing him to justice?" "I just did." "What about clearing Barr?" "What about clearing you?" "I have faith you'll sort it out." "And I hear you have an in with the local D.A." "But what happens to you in the meantime?" "I keep moving." "Same as always." "Wait, is that my car?" "This the lady?" "Helen Rodin, Martin Cash." "A pleasure." "You look like hell there, Army." "You asked if I was afraid I'd end up like Barr." "I'm not." "I'm afraid I'll end up like this guy." "There's a lot of dead bodies out here." "So let's get to it." " We should probably go." " Wait." "That's it?" "It's just over?" "You'll be all right, counsellor." "No." "What if I need you?" "How will I find you?" "You don't need me." "Not any more." "Get her number." "Let's go!" "I'm Helen Rodin, your attorney." "This conversation is protected by attorney-client privilege." "You understand what that means?" "Yeah." "Now, the police didn't talk to you, did they?" "They're not allowed to do that without me here." "How bad was it?" "How many did I..." "You don't remember anything about the incident?" "No." "But I could hear the nurses talking to those cops out there." "I don't even remember wanting to do it!" "Look, I'm not gonna fight this." "If they say I done it, then I did." "I done things before." "I did something bad." "Real bad." "A long time ago." "And I got away with it." "James, how well do you know this place?" "Pretty well." "And how do you think you would have done it?" "I guess" "I would have parked up on the highway." "The sun would be at my back that time of day." "I got a van." "Set up in back." "Wouldn't have to worry about my brass." "Get away real clean, too." "That sound about right?" "Sounds as if you know your stuff." "I forget your name." "It's Helen." "Helen Rodin." "You're going to be okay, James." "I am gonna take care of you." "You can't protect me." "No one can." "From what?" "From who?" "There's this guy." "He's a kind of cop." "At least he used to be." "He doesn't care about the law." "He doesn't care about proof." "He only cares about what's right." "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" "He knows what I did." "He knows where I am." "And this guy, he made me a promise." "I said, shut your mouth!" "If I ever got in trouble again, he'd be there."

"The following program is based on actual events." "It is important to remember, however, that you can't rewrite history." "Not one line." "Except, perhaps, when you embark on an adventure in space and time." "Everything all right, sir?" "Are you okay?" "You need to move along now, sir." "Sir?" "You're in the way." "Hello?" "Er, Mr. Hartnell?" "Mr. Hartnell, sir, they're asking for you now." "Shall I tell them you're coming now?" "Tell them what you like." " Beg pardon, Mr. Hartnell?" " Tell them what you bloody well like." "Listen, I'm only doing my job." "Sod off, will you?" "I'm not ready." "I need more time." "Len." "Len, for God's sake, you'll go up like a Roman candle if you're not careful." "Can I take my head off, mate?" "I'm boiling in here." "No." "We'll be starting up again in a minute." " Why, what's the hold-up?" " You-know-who." "Well, tell him to get his skates on." "Some of us have got a bloody planet to invade." " Shh." " What?" " Can I see your pass, sir?" " Ah, come on, Harry." "You know my face." " That's as may be, sir." " Sydney Newman." "Clue's in the name." "Better than any mugshot." " I still need to see your pass, sir." " Ah, to hell with it." "That's not the way we do things at the BBC, sir." "You don't say." "So, we got a great big thumping audience for Grandstand, but we lose them before their teenyboppers tune in for Juke Box Jury, right?" " Right." "Er, correct." " We've got a gap to plug." " Twenty-five minutes." " How about another Dickens?" "Fossilized, Mervyn." "Fusty." "Frowsty." "And other less-polite words beginning with F." "I've got a word for you, though. "Fun." Fun." "You heard of fun, Mervyn?" "That something else you brought with you from I I V?" "I hope so." "I certainly hope so." "We need stuff to keep the sports fans hooked, and the kids, too." " Competitive tiddlywinks?" " You know what I'm talking about." "Science fiction." "Is it really that popular?" "It was, the last time I took a look." "With juvenile boys, perhaps." "I like it." " She thought the balloon had gone up." " What?" "She thought we'd all had it." "Cuba." "No point in holding back if the missiles started flying," "so she put it about a bit." " A lot." "So, what did they say?" ""You're only a production assistant, dear." "It's a bit of a leap."" "I'm giving myself a year to either get on in television, or get out." "Look, what do I know?" "I spend my time trying not to bump into the cameras." "But don't pack in yet, Verity." "Softly-softly, eh?" " You've got a..." " What?" " Red wine." " Oh." " Oh, Lord, it's on, isn't it?" " What?" "The space shot." "The Soviets' Valentina Whatsit." " First woman in space." " God, yes." "And there she is, Valentina Tereshkova, looking, appropriately enough, on top of the world." "Pop-polo-polo" "The first woman in space." "A major triumph for the Soviet Union in the ever-escalating space race." " Hello?" " Verity, it's Sydney." " What?" " Sydney!" "Sydney!" "Hello, stranger." "Do you know anything about children, Verity?" "Not a thing." "We want to do a science fiction serial." "Legitimate stuff, though." " No tin robots or B.E.M.s. -"B.E.M.s"?" "Bug-Eyed Monsters." "You know, mutations and death-rays and brains in a glass jar, that kind of crap." "It's gonna run all year long." "So, good-looking guy, good-looking gal, a kid who gets herself into all kinds of trouble, plus an older man." "Quirky." "I'll come back to him." "They travel about space and time, getting into scrapes." " That's a lovely idea." " You know me." "Pop-pop-pop." "We want history, too, proper history." "The kids at home should learn something." "And what about the other man?" "The quirky character?" " He's a doctor." " A doctor?" "Mmm." "He should be a doctor, don't you think?" "Makes him an authority figure." "Sorta, kinda reassuring." "So, what do you think?" "Look, Sydney, I would love to work with you again." "Really, I would. lt'sjust..." "I gave myself a year." "Get on in TV or get out." "Hey, hey, hey" "I don't want you to be my assistant again, kid." "I want you to produce it." " Produce it?" " Sure!" "They've never had a female producer here." "Sit down." "You're just what this place needs." "Someone with piss and vinegar in their veins." "Thanks, I think." "I did a show called Pathfinders for I I V. You see it?" " Um..." " We had an old guy as the hero." "Grumpy old guy." "That's what we want here." "MAN ON TV'." "Wait for it..." "Atten-tion!" "Oh, my stars, what did I do to deserve you lot?" "Drivel." "We'll make her a skirt." "No one rung?" " Not since you last asked..." " All right." " Five minutes ago." " All right, all right." "You've only been out of work a couple of weeks." "Well, I'm not built for lazing around, am I?" "Got to graft, or I'll go round the twist." "What about that play?" "Another ruddy Army part?" "No fear." "That's all they ever offer me." "Crooks and perishing Sergeant Majors." "But that's how the casting people see you, isn't it, love?" " Authority figures." " Atten-tion!" "55 My grandfather's a funny 'un" "Don't do that." "55 He's got a face like a pickled onion" "Stop it." " Bloody rubbish." " Bill, not in front of Judy." "55 My grandfather's a funny 'un 41" "I said stop it." "Why are you always so grumpy, sampa?" "What?" "What's it got to do with you?" "Silly girl." "Judy?" "Judy-pudy, darling!" " For goodness' sake, Bill, go after her." " I've told the girl once." "What's wrong with her?" "Cloth ears?" " Don't you like being successful?" " That's not success." "I'm legitimate." "A legitimate character actor of the stage and film." "This is variety." "I only asked." "How about Leslie French?" "He'd be marvelous." "He's working with Visconti." "He gave us a polite "no."" " Cyril Cusack?" " A less polite "no."" " Can I help you?" " I think you're in my office." "That's a rather interesting way of looking at it." " I'm rather an interesting person." " I don't doubt it." "Rex Tucker." "I'm looking after Doctor Who." "Pending the appointment of the permanent producer." "Oh, is he with you?" "You're looking at him." "I keep coming back to Hugh David." "Who?" "He was in Knight Errant on I I V. Lovely actor." "Not old enough for the Doctor, surely." "Well, we don't want Grandpa Moses, do we?" "We need someone who can play older." "The shooting schedule's going to be pretty punishing." " I've got some ideas." " I'll call Hugh." "See what he thinks." " I'd rather you didn't." " Is that a fact?" "Waste of time." "We need someone like Frank Morgan in The Wizard of Oz." " He's dead." " Rex..." " And American." " I said "like."" "Perhaps we should all, um, sleep on it." "After all, it took them months to find Scarlett O'Hara." "Dear lady, may I have a word?" "Hello?" "Yes." "Oh!" "Yes." "Is it right you were Sydney's production assistant on the other channel?" " Yes." " So this is quite a promotion." " Apparently." " Bound to ruffle a few feathers." "If feathers don't ruffle, nothing flies." "This show's going to be a terrific challenge, you know." "Outer space." "Time travel." "In this first script, they go back to the Stone Age." "You're going to need all the help you can get, so Rex is going to act as a sort of mentor to you." "A ship can't have two captains." " Dear lady..." " Please don't call me that." " Sorry." " And what about you, Mervyn?" "What's your function?" "To be your sort of technical boffin." "Help you through the mire of all this." "Sydney obviously thinks he's got the right person for the job." "That's what he wants for Doctor Who." "Someone with piss and vinegar in their veins." " Did he say that?" " He's very blunt." "Yes." "Look, all I'm saying is, dear..." "Verity, all I'm saying is "experience" is not a dirty word." "Don't fight us." "Perhaps you could add a few drops of warm beer in with your, er..." " Piss and..." " Mixture." "Just for the time being." "Well, we'd better clear out." "We'll have the news team in here." "That's clever." "So they don't have to look down at their words all the time." "Yes, quite a wheeze." " Someone'll make a fortune out of that." " I suppose so." "Shame I didn't get to the patent office faster." "Why?" "I invented it." "Well, have a look at it, Bill." "It certainly sounds different." "And it's an old man part, you know." " Oh, is it?" " Yeah." "It's like This Sporting Life." "Well, I..." "I love playing older." "I know." " Well, what next?" " Ollie's going to set up a meeting, and he sounded ever so upbeat on the phone." "He says it's a smashing role." "Ah." " The BBC." " Yeah." "Yeah." "And it's for kiddies." "Come on, Stumpy." "Off to Madame Bovary." "Well, I'm sure he'll be happier away from us." "Any news from the design department?" "Not being very helpful, I'm afraid." "What is this?" "What are we going to do with this?" "Stone Age man going "ugg"." "It's crazy." "Cavemen and doctors and disappearing bloody police boxes..." "Waris Hussein, our director." " Verity." " Hi." " What have you just been working on?" " Er, Compact." "Oh?" "High art, indeed." " Shut up." " Don't people say "ugg" in Compact?" "Frequently." "Mostly after a liquid lunch." "But the cavemen script is the only one ready to go." " We have to start with it." " Right." "And where are we shooting?" "Lime Grove, Studio D." "Oh, God, not there." "We can't do anything there." "It's a broom cupboard." "It's smaller on the inside." "It's the wrong shape, and the sprinklers go off when it gets hot." "Well, you'll make it brilliantly, won't you?" "Oh, I see." "Simple as that." "It'll never work." "When do we start?" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." " Hello?" " Yes, sir?" "Gin and tonic and Pall Mall please..." "Vodka and tonic, and a red wine, please." "I'm sorry, love, I'm serving..." "Vodka and tonic, and a red wine, please." " Vodka-tonic, red wine." " Thank you." "I'd have been stood here all night." "We are all strangers in a strange land." " Very profound." " Isn't it?" "You'll find I'm generally pretty profound." " I wish I had your front." " I wish I had your behind." "Shh!" "Shut up." "Don't be fooled, Waris." "That's all it is." "Front." "Inside, I'm shaking like a leaf." "I'm here by the skin of my bloody teeth." "First Indian director this place has ever had." "So we've got to stick together, haven't we?" "Make our little show work." " That'll teach them." " Who?" "The old guard." "This sea of fag-smoke and tweed and sweaty men." " Not that I'm knocking sweaty men." " I should hope not." "Listen, I overheard a couple of old horrors standing by the tea urn." "They said "Well, she didn't get here standing up, did she?"" " Sydney's bit of fluff, am I?" "well, that seems to be the impression." "How else could you get a promotion like this?" "A promotion like what?" "I'm trying to recreate the Stone Age with Airfix glue and bloody BacoFoil!" ""We're" trying to, yes." " Yes." "Sorry." "Well, here's to us." " The posh wog." " And the pushy Jewish bird." " L'chaim." "Cheers." " You know, we could have our own series." " We do." "I don't want any of this muck, thanks very much." " I'll have a drink." " Right." " You the director, son?" " Yes." "Hardly out of the cradle, the pair of you." "Right, let's talk turkey." "I'm not sure about this, not sure at all." "No?" "Apart from anything else, I don't want to take on another long run." "Had enough of that on The Army Game." "Nearly killed me." " Weekly." "Bloody rep." " Would you like to order some drinks?" "Whiskey and soda." "Choppie-choppie." " Yes, sir." " Now, whose idea was all this?" " That fellow from ITV?" " Sydney Newman, yes." "But so many people have been at the birth of the thing, we'd be here all day." " Tell me about the characters." " Two schoolteachers." "Ian and Barbara." "They're intrigued about one of their pupils, a young girl called Susan." "She seems to have impossible knowledge for a girl from 1963." "So the schoolteachers follow her home, but "home" is a junkyard." "Yes, yes, yes." "Scripts." "I need to see scripts." "Oh, they're going wonderfully." "Wonderfully." "The BBC are really excited about the show." "They're throwing everything at it." "State-of-the-art facilities." "How do they get about?" "A flying saucer, or something?" "Ours is a space and time machine that can blend in with its background." "What, you mean it's covered in invisible paint, or something?" "No, no, it adapts to suit its environment." "It gets stuck in one shape." "A police box." " A police box?" " How gorgeous would that be?" "An ordinary 20th-century object on the surface of an alien planet." " Fantastic." " And the opening titles" "are like nothing you've ever seen." " Yes." "You see, if you point a camera down its own monitor, it creates the most wonderful shapes." "Patterns." "Like mirrors endlessly reflecting, swooping and pulsing like butterfly wings." "Maybe I could be in them." "Just pop in front of the camera, will you, Tony?" "Let's see how that looks." "Oh, Christ, no." "That's terrifying." "And wait till you hear the music." "" " We're using the latest technology." " How did you do it?" " Brian's house keys." "What about the Doctor himself?" "He's something like 600 years old." "Looks like a senile old man, but he's tough." "Tough!" "Tough and wiry, like an old turkey." "It's what you do so well, Mr. Hartnell." "Stern and scary." " But with a twinkle." " Trust me, Bill, you're perfect for it." " No one will be able to resist you." " Do you really think so?" "C.S. Lewis meets H.G. Wells meets Father Christmas." "That's the Doctor." ""Doctor" who?" " Come on, big smiles." " Cheers." "Lovely." "One more." "And again." " Lovely stuff." "That's it, thank you." " You're a brick for doing this." " I'm contractually obliged, darling." " No, no." "I mean the show." "You'll all give it such gravitas." "Thank you." "So, what do you make of him?" "Oh, I've always been a fan." "Wonderful screen actor." " He frightens the life out of me." " I think he's sweet, bless him." ""Bless him"?" "He's not as old as he looks." " He must have had a tough life." " Cheers!" " Are you okay?" " Scared to death." "Me too." "Well, goodbye, real world." "One more." "Paflence." "I have the patience of a saint, but it's wearing very thin." "We need the inside of the Tardis right now." "I'm busy." "You'll get your time machine when I can find a moment." "Too busy for a children's program?" "Is that it?" "Patience." ""If you could touch the alien sand" ""and listen to the..."" "Buggefl" ""If you could touch the alien sand and hear" ""the cry of strange birds," ""and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?"" ""Susan and I are cutoff from our own people," ""but one day, we shall get back." ""Yes, one day."" ""One day..."" " Who's Susan?" " My granddaughter." " I'm your granddaughter." "Yes, yes, of course you are, darling, but she's my granddaughter in the story I'm doing on the television." "I play a funny old man who lives inside a magic box." " Like a Jack-in-the-box, sampa?" " A little like that, yes, but this is a machine in disguise." "A time machine." "Do you know how to fly a time machine, sampa?" "Hmm?" "Oh, yes." "Yes, of course I do." "You'll see." "You'll see, when I'm on the television." "We'll be going back through history to meet kings and queens, and off to distant planets, where the Doctor will have all kinds of adventures." " The Doctor?" " He's the old man I'm playing." "A doctor?" "Does he make people better?" "No." ""Don't you think you're being..." ""...rather high-handed, young man?"" " I have." "You thought you saw a young girl enter the yard." "You imagine you heard music, or her voice." "You believe she might be in there." " Not very substantial, is it?" " But why won't you help us?" "I'm not hindering you." "You intrude here..." " He's tetchy as hell." "...accusations and implications." "If you both want to make fools of yourselves," "I suggest you do what you said you'd do." "Go and ask a policeman..." "Bugger!" ""Fetch" a policeman." "While you nip off quietly in the other direction, I suppose?" "Come on, Barbara." "What are you doing out there, Grandfather?" "Go back inside." "Shut the door." " Shut that door!" " Barbara!" "Okay." "Okay, everyone, fantastic." "That's where we stop the tape and go inside the spaceship." " When it's built." " Okay." "Good." "Everyone happy?" "No." "I'm not happy, not at all." " Miss Lambert, a word, if you please." " Coffee?" " Good idea." " Thank you." "The set for the machine, Tardis, when is it arriving?" "There's, er, been a delay." "No." "It won't do." "It just won't do." "I don't know how I'm expected to cope with all the technical gibberish I have to spout" "without a bloody set to work on." " I'm sorry, Bill." "I need time to plot out all the buttons, you see." "Buttons?" "On the controls." "All those switches and dials." "I need to know what they all do." "What if I press something to open the doors, and then the next week," "I use it to blow us all up?" "You must see that." "The children will spot it, you see, if we try and fudge it." "And we must discuss my character." " Absolutely." " He's too abrasive, too nasty, you see." "Where's that twinkle you talked about?" "The thing that made me so..." "So right for it?" "Er..." "Oh, Sydney!" "Sydney Newman, Head of Drama, let me introduce you to Mr. William Hartnell." "Right!" "Our Doctor." "Great choice." "I'm a big fan." "Big fan." "Oh, thank you." "But I do need to discuss..." "What was that terrific war picture you were in?" "What was that?" "Well, I've done a few." "Er, The Way Ahead?" "Yeah." "Hell of a picture." "You were sensational." "Oh, do you really think so?" " Oh, yes." "Absolutely extraordinary." " Well, I..." "I did get some very nice notices, yes." "Oh, er, was that before or after Brighton Rock?" " Oh, before." " Of course." "You were in Brighton Rock." "Wow, what a performance!" "Oh." "Well, you're very kind." "It should have led to much bigger and better things, you know," " but I wasn't blessed." " Not blessed?" "What the hell are you talking about?" "Of course you're blessed." " You're gonna be Doctor Who, aren't you?" " Well, yes." "Perfect choice for my little show." "Well, my idea, anyway." "That's what I do." "Ideas." "One day, I came into I IV." ""I've got an idea," I said." ""The Avengers." "What's it about?" they said." ""How the hell should I know?" I said." ""But what a title!"" "Hah!" "Pop-pop-pop." "You, sir, are going to make a huge impact with this character." "I am?" "Only a movie star could do it." "So nuanced." "So many layers." "Well, you know, one tries." "And these kids are perfect for it." "You couldn't be in safer hands." "Fun, energy, youth, pop-pop-pop." "Freaks." "Thank you so much, Sydney." "You've no idea what a difference it makes." "Be a producer, Verity." "Find a way to deal with this stuff." "Or are you out of your depth?" "What are you doing?" " Being patient." " What?" " I can be very patient." " You can't stay here." "Now, what shall we talk about?" "I've got all day." "Don't be ridiculous." "The Old Curiosity Shop, the Roman Forum, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?" "Symphonies in pencil and ink." "So, surely, you can turn your hand to my teeny little time machine." "Just turn that blazing talent of yours to my little kiddies' show." "Who knows what might happen?" "Won't take you more than half an hour." " You are a very trying woman." " Then I'll get out of your hair." "Maybe the muse will be with you." "Maybe it will be the best thing you've ever thought of." "Very well." "Very well." "Here." "Here, madam." "Here's your bloody Tardis." "Turned out rather well, hasn't it?" "Through the cupboard doors and into Narnia." "Too bloody big." "Takes up half the studio." " Yes, my love, don't fret." " Yes?" " Yes, yes, Waris, I heard him." " Thank you." "All right." " Could you pass me my script, please?" " What's the delay?" " This is ridiculous!" " Sorry, boys and girls." "He says he won't have his teeth blacked out." "Dougie, it's 100,000 B.C." " I know." " It's the Tribe of Gum." "He says he got them whitened to get onto the telly." "Well, does it matter?" "We only see his bloody shadow." " I'll do it." " What?" "I don't mind blacking my teeth." "I've already got sand and fleas in my Y-fronts." "Can't get much worse." "Okay." "Stout man." "I think we're sorted, then, guv." "Thank you, Dougie." "Okay." "Into position, everyone, and roll to record in 15." "God, it's hot in here." " Anyone else hot?" " Yeah." "Can we do something about the heat?" "I thought he'd be used to it." " What?" " Nothing." "Watch it, Arthur." "Five minutes, chum, then they turn the lights out." " Them's the rules." " Okay, everyone." "Quiet, please." "Quiet." "Five." "Four." "Three." "Okay, come in to Camera 1 on one." "Okay." "Clear two." "These people are known to you, I believe." "What are you doing here?" "They're two of my schoolteachers." "Is that your excuse for this unwarrantable, unwarranted intrusion?" "You had no right to invite them here." " I blame you for this, Susan." " Coming on, uh..." "Coming on three." " But, Grandfather, I..." " Is this really where you live, Susan?" " Yes." " On three." " On one." " It was just a box." " Well, it can't be." " On three." "Coming on two." "Move the camera." "Get hold of the crate." "Get the crate." "Move the bloody camera." "I'm doing my best, all right?" "If it's that easy, why don't you have a go?" "I'd just like to..." "I know this is absurd, but..." "The doors." " What's happening to the doors?" " The Tardis can go anywhere." ""The Tardis"?" "I don't know what you mean, Susan." "I made up "Tardis" from the initials." "Time and Relative Dimensions in Space." "I thought you'd both realize when you came inside and saw" " the different dimensions from outside." " God!" "What's happening to the bloody doors?" "This thing that looks like a police box stuck in a junkyard can move anywhere in time and space?" " Oh, Susan, don't be ridiculous." " Oh, Christ!" "Stiff as a Scotsman's wallet." "You look like us." "You sound like us." "I was born in the 49th century." "Get it under covering!" "Get the covers!" " Everybody out." " Am I on yet?" "Anyone?" "I've done my teeth." "Wish I knew what bloody dimension I was in." "Hello?" "No, my child." "We cannot let our secret loose into the world of the 20th century." "But you can't keep them prisoners here." "You can't keep us prisoners anywhere." "I cannot let you go, schoofleachen" "Whether you believe what you have been told is of no importance." "You and your companion will leave footprints in a time we were not supposed to walk." "If I have to use force to get out of here, I will, you know." "Maybe we've stumbled on something beyond our understanding." "Why did you come here?" "Why?" "SUSAN'." "Grandfather, no!" "DOCTOR'." "No, you don't." " Stop it." "Let him go!" " Let me go!" "Let's go to lunch." " Not hungry?" " Don't seem to have much of an appetite." "You surprised?" "I should fire the pair of you." "Right." "Take out the reference to the future time they've come from." ""Forty-ninth century" is too specific." "It's "Doctor Who," remember." "The old guy is too nasty." "He should be cuter." "Funnier." "And the kid needs to be cheeky, too." "Like a regular teenager." " Did you like any of it?" " Not much." " Hate the opening titles." " You're joking." "Too weird." "It's sensational." "Just because it's new..." "Hey, hey, I like new." "I do new, remember?" "It's too scary for the kids." " I thought we were trying to scare them." " Scare them, not traumatize them." "Change it." " Over my dead body!" " It can be arranged." "It'll cost, and they'll crucify me for it." "What?" "Do the whole thing again." " I'm not right for the part." " Bill..." " Just not right." "It isn't me at all." " Bill, listen to me." "Sydney thought it was good." "He's over the moon." "I let you down." "You let me down?" "You were right." "You were so right." "We've made the Doctor too abrasive." "We need much more of you in him." "Much more charm, and warmth, and twinkle." "You knew it." "I couldn't see it." "You're sure you've got the right man?" "Of course I am." "I'm..." "I'm frightened, you see." "I've never really done anything like this before." "The pressure, the schedule, and all those ruddy words." "I'm here for you, Bill." "Promise?" "Every step." "Right." "I've got to tell the others, now." "Time and tide wait for no man, eh?" "Time and space, Bill." "And they wait for no woman, either." "I'm not hindering you." "If you both want to make fools of yourselves," "I suggest you do what you said you'd do." " Go and find a policeman." " In clear three." "Clear three." "Shot two." "Tighter on two." "There's only one way in and out of this yard." "I shall be here when you get back." "I want to see your faces when you try" "and explain your behavior..." " Tighter on one." "...to a policeman, Chesterman." "Chesterton." " We're going to find one." " He got the name wrong." "Can we go back?" "Can we go back?" "We've already stopped recording three times." " Only one more edit allowed, son." " Thank you, Mervyn." "Four edits in a whole show, it's..." "It's so bloody primitive." "Young man speak truth." "BBC equipment from Stone Age." "We have no choice, do we?" " Onwards, Waris, onwards." " Okay, stand by on one." "Oh, no, Grandfather, no!" "Let me through." "Get back to the ship, child." "DOCTOR'." "It could be anywhere." "Dear, dear, dear, dear." "This is no help to us at all." "I suggest, before we go outside and explore," "let us clean ourselves up." "SUSAN'." "Oh, yes." "What does the radiation read, Susan?" "It's reading normal, Grandfather." "Okay, good." "I'll tell them we can make the transmission date." "How are the other scripts coming along?" "Your Canadian pal is doing us one about Marco Polo." "Terrific, that's more like my brief." "Get the kids hooked on real history." "We're also trying one of Tony Hancock's writers, Terry Nation." " You got a script?" " Yes, it's good." " What's it about?" " Robots." "No..." "No, they're not robots." "Rule one, no robots." " Rule two..." " No bug-eyed monsters." "I know, but I promise you they're not, it's a really interesting story, set on a distant planet after a nuclear war..." "Okay, okay, whatever..." "Send it straight up to me." "Then we'll see." "This time in a few weeks, Episode 1 will have aired." "Hmm." "Brave heart, darling." "I think we'll be a smash." "Fingers crossed." "We could do with a bit of luck." "Hideous machine-like creatures." "The lens on a flexible shaft." "Acts as an eye?" ""You will move ahead of us and follow my directions."" ""lan breaks away and dashes for it."" ""Exterminate..."" ""Exterminate."" "It is will deep regret that we announce that" "President Kennedy is dead." "He was shot down as he was driving in an open car through the city of Dallas, Texas." "The identity of the assassin remains unconfirmed at this time." "It was very good, Bill." "And now we return to the news." "Vice President Lyndon Johnson was yesterday sworn in as the 36th president of the United States, following the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy..." "They'll all be watching the news." "She's way over budget." "No, no, it's more than that." "I'm afraid Miss Lambert doesn't know what she's doing." "First cavemen, now these silly robots." "What are you saying?" "That you're not to do any more than these four episodes you've already got in production." "Kill it, Sydney." "Kill Doctor Who." " Reviews were respectable." " Uh-huh." "The ratings too, respectable, considering what happened." "Mmm." "Sydney wants to see you, Verity." "It's my fault." "I promoted you too soon." "I don't much like the way the show's going." "First, goddamn cavemen." " No choice, the..." " And then these day-lecks." " Daleks." " Exactly what I wanted to avoid." " Cheap jacked science fiction trash." " Have you read the script?" " Yes." " Really?" "Well, enough to know garbage when I see it." "Jesus, Dorlocks." " Daleksl" " Whatever!" "Bug-eyed..." "They're not bug-eyed monsters!" "They used to be like us." "Radiation has made them retreat inside these impregnable metal shells, and now they hate everything that isn't like them." "All they know how to do is lash out." "The Doctor and his friends turn up and try to make them see differently, to understand other people and make peace, it's good stuff." "It's strong stuff, Sydney, and I really, truly believe in it." "Well..." "I wanted someone with piss and vinegar." "I think we've got something really special here, Sydney." "A knockout." "We've just got to hold our nerve." "Okay" "Okay" "I'll talk to the high-ups." "And I want a repeat." " What?" " On Saturday." "Repeat Episode 1 before Episode 2." "No one was watching because of the assassination." "Oh, I see." "This is Kennedy's fault." "We deserve a fair crack of the whip, Sydney." "You'd better be right about these..." "Daleks." "Let me be very clear, young lady, your neck's on the block." "Come on, get a move on." "It's like a rabbit hutch in here." "Okay." "You nice and snug?" "What the hell is that?" "Monster for the next story." "What, a sink plunger and an egg whisk?" "Oh, well, if they can't take over the universe, might be able to whip up a decent omelet." "Roll to record in 15, 14..." "Quiet please, everyone." "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, action!" "You will move ahead of us and follow my directions..." "On two..." "Immediately." "Tighter on one." "Tighter." "Stand by one." "On one." "In three." "Stand by two." "Two." "I said immediately." "Fire!" " My legs." " On two." " My legs." " Your legs are paralyzed." "You will recover shortly unless you force us to use our weapons again." "Well, everyone, meet the Daleks." "They're creepy, aren't they?" "Actually, really creepy." "Michael!" "Dennis!" "Your tea's getting cold." "Oh, and that thing you wanted to watch is on!" "The truth is that your supply of drugs has failed, and you came into the city to see if you could find more." "MAN ON TV'." "I don't know what you're talking about." "You and your companions need a drug to stay alive." "DOCTOR'." "We have no gloves..." "Drugs." " You said gloves." " Eh?" "Yes, yes, I did." "Because the Daleks are nasty." "And you must need to have special gloves to touch them." "Yes." "Yes." "You know things like that because you're Doctor Who." "That's right." "Exterminate!" "Exterminate!" "You will be my prisoner." "You won't believe what I saw on the bus this morning." "It's thrilling." "Sydney wants you, Verity." "Ten million viewers for your bug-eyed monster." "Ten million." "So..." "What do I know about anything?" "Well done, kid." "A bus?" "What were you doing on a bus?" "Getting in touch with our audience." "Our great big fat enormous bloody audience!" "Whoo!" "Quickly, child, we're running out of time." "Check the fornicator." "Faultlicator." "Okay, I think we better hold it there, please." "First positions again." "Verity." "Verity." "Look at this." "Just look at this." "General De Gaulle." "DeGaullek!" " Non, non, non." " That's wonderful." "We've really got something here." "They love us." " Lovely stuff this, you know." " Mmm." "Shame it's not in color." "Come on." "How much have I won?" "Uh..." "Thirty-five elephants, 4,000 white stallions," " 25 tigers..." " And 10 bob, you old devil." "Right." "Make-up and hair will be done on Kublai Khan's digit, so we best press on." "What do you think?" " Oh, wow." " Very swish." " D'you like it?" " Gorgeous, Carole." "Weren't even going to let me buy it." "Turn a few heads on the King's Road." "Oh, God." "Something the matter, Bill?" "You should be more careful, sweetheart." "Throwing your money around like that." "It's an insecure profession, you know." "We should all bear that in mind." "Fancy anything at Newmarket, Bill?" "You know what I mean." "I'm just saying." "Splashing out on new togs all the time, you don't know you're bloody born." "I'm not a child." "I'll spend it how I like." "You're right of course, Bill." "None of us knows how long this is going to last." "No one's irreplaceable." " Who told you that?" " Everyone mentions it." " So, you didn't go to RADA." " Roedean, darling." " Eh?" " The girls' school." "Must've been a typo on my CV." "I've not got the heart to tell Sydney." "Bill, thank you so much for the flowers." "Sorry to see you go, son." " So, what's next for you?" " I've been offered A Passage to India." "One way?" "Bill, I hope you never change." "Bill." "Bill, come on." " Quiet, please, everybody." " Oh, yes." "Bit of hush, ladies and gents." "Sure you won't stay?" "Do some more with us?" "Pastures new." "It's been a bloody blast, Verity." "Couldn't have done it without you, darling." "Shoulder to shoulder." "I saw you interfering with some dials only last night, so I've decided to show you all the things that you mustn't touch under any circumstances." "Exterminate." "Exterminate." "Bloody hell." "Hello, my darling." "What do you think?" "Thrills galore." ""Full-size real-life Dalek playsuit" ""from the BBC TV series Doctor Who." Strike of light," "only 66 shillings and sixpence." " What will you do?" "And we have these." "Goodness." "Man and boy I've been at this lark, but I've never known anything like..." "Incredible." "No one's irreplaceable, eh?" "So much for softly, softly." "At this rate, you'll be running the place." " "Dear Uncle Who..."" " Uncle Who." ""I've got my physics O-level coming up" ""and I need your help."" "I don't know why they think I can help them." "It's all gobbledygook to me." "Please." "Doctor Who." "Can I please have your autograph?" "Now then, what's this?" "An autograph?" "Teacher said it will be all right." "Well, that must make you a very special little boy, um..." "Alan." "Thank you." "Please." "Doctor." "Yes, what is it, um..." "Alan." " What is it, Alan?" " Please." " When are them Daleks coming back?" " Daleks." "They're taking over the ruddy world." "Well, it's what they do best isn't it?" "Oh!" " Oh, wow." " Wow." "Oh, goodness me." " Ha!" " Come along." "Come along." "Keep up." "We must all get back to the Tardis." " What's this?" "What's this?" "Look out!" " What?" "Look out." "Run!" "Run!" "Exterminate!" "Exterminate!" "Cut!" "Cut!" "Right, one more, please." "Quick as you can." "You were nearly off the curb." "Why is it we always seem to have to go again" "because of you?" " Well, I need a wee, don't I?" "You ought to try being in here." "Reset again!" "Bill..." "Bill." "I thought I might try something when I'm carrying you down the ramp." "What?" "I thought maybe I'd just throw a look towards you." "Sort of showing the Roboman's inner turmoil." "You know, I was a man once, sort of thing, before the Daleks made me like this." " What d'you think?" " Don't be so bloody ridiculous." " It was just a suggestion." " Yes, well, stow it." " What's up with you?" " Mind your own business." "It's not too late, you know." "No." "I've made up my mind." "They can rewrite this stuff in a shot." "It's time to move on, Bill." "There's lots of other things I want to do." "Well, of course." "And there's more to life than just screaming at nasty monsters." "That's no way to talk about me." "One day I shall come back." "Yes, I shall come back." "Until then there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties." "Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine." "Good-bye, Susan." "Good-bye, my dear." "That's lovely, Bill." "Really lovely." "Doesn't like farewells, does he?" "Just stepping off for a minute, Waris." " Waris?" " He's been doing that a lot lately." "That's it." "Look over towards Bill." " Cheers." " Cheers." "One more." "You look all in." "Mmm." "Come on, love, why don't you get your head down?" "We can go through this in the morning." "No, no, got to get them in." "Got to." "Maybe it's time you thought about moving on, love." "Moving on?" "You're shattered all the time." "I can't even if I wanted to." "They're all relying on me." "Hundreds of people, aren't they?" "And all those kiddies out there." "You cam have Doctor Who without Doctor Who, can you?" "Come on." "Vortis." "What galaxy is that in?" "It's the Isop Galaxy." "The lsop Galaxy." "It's many, many light years away." "I do not understand his words." "He is becoming delirious, I do not understand his words." "Bill mustn't know I've spoken to you." "It'd play merry hell." "What's the matter?" "Our GP rang." "Bill's not very well." "Oh, dear." "Nothing serious." "Not in the short term." "It's, um..." "Arteriosclerosis." "It's a hardening of the arteries." "I see." "He smokes too much." "Drinks too much." "And these days, the only exercise he gets is walking the dog." "That, plus doing Doctor Who virtually all year." "Do you think he should stop?" "No." "No, he couldn't bear that." "He loves the program, he's so proud of it." "And all of you." "You should hear him." "But if there's anything you can do to lift the burden from his shoulders, you know, let him slow down a little." "Well..." "I'll have a quiet word with my successor." "Oh..." "Oh, lsee..." "Vortis?" "What galaxy is that?" "The lsop Galaxy, just a few..." "Many, many light earths, light years from us" "and from earth." "And yet, the..." "Vortis, Vortis planet hasn't a moon." "Hmm..." "Right." "Hold it there, please." "All this stuff, you know, I can do it with a look." "Bill, I really think we should stick with what's on the page." "Verity." "I could do all this with a look, you know." "I don't need all these lines." "It's like bloody King Lear." "I remember Lindsay Anderson saying the same thing about me on Sporting Life." "You just rip a couple of pages out of the script," "Bill could do all this with a gesture." "A raised eyebrow, you see what I mean?" "Of course..." "Bless you." "Actually, I'm glad to have the chance to talk to you." "You're my rock, Verity, you know that?" "My rock." "Oh, I don't know about that." "Since that day you first started telling me about Doctor Who," "I have been spellbound, just spellbound." "But look at us now, eh." "Just look at us." "Our asses are in butter!" "What did you want to tell me?" "Which, of course, was her way of saying, "Take a hike."" "So, I'm justifiably proud of myself, I can spot talent light-years away." "Ladies and gentlemen, Verity." "Best goddamn appointment I've ever made." "Verity!" "J1 For she's a jolly good fellow" "J1 For she's a jolly good fellow" "J1 For she's a jolly good fellow 41 And so say all of us" "41 And so say all of us 41 And so say all of us" "J1 For she's a jolly good fellow" "J1 For she's a jolly good fellow" "J1 For she's a jolly good fellow 41 And so say all of us 41" "Not joining us?" "Perhaps in a minute." "Bill, I wanted to say thank you." "For everything you've done." "I'm in demand, it's all down to you." "Oh, nonsense." "In no small measure, Bill, Doctor Who has made me." "Why does it have to change?" "Why do things always have to change?" "Why can't we just go on as we are?" "Life." "What about you?" "Not ready for a rest?" "Me, no." "Not a bit." "This old body of mine is good for a few years yet." "Gonna miss all this." "You've got some..." "Mmm?" "Oh..." "Let me." "What am I going to do without you?" "Till we meet again." "There she is!" "Smile!" "Mr. Purves." "Purves and Jackie, look at each other." "Jackie, that's it!" "Lovely." "Give us a smile!" "Lovely." "MAN'." "Alright, when you're ready, Bill." "Mr. Hartnell to you, sonny." "Sorry?" "You might call me by my first name if we get to know each other better." "Ifyou"." "If you last on my show, that is." "Can we go from the top of the scene?" "Mr. Hartnell, you make the TV screen come on." "The scanner." "The scanner." "Right." "And then you flick the switch and the doors open." "No, no, can't do that." "I beg your pardon?" "I'd have to move around to the other side, that's where the door switch is." "Does it matter?" "Of course it matters." "All right." "We'll work around it." "You move where you like, Mr. Hartnell." "Thank you." "I will." "Okay." "Top of the scene, then." "The glass cylinder should be going up and down." "The ship is in flight." "Right." "Yes." "Sorry." " Well?" " Sorry." "Be right with you." "Anybody know how to make it go?" "Oh, for Christ's sake..." "Does anyone know how to do anything!" "Out!" "Out!" "I'll sort it myself." "Standby bell!" "Roll to record!" "In fifteen." "Fourteen." "Quiet, please, everyone." "Okay, everyone ready?" "Ready, now." "There's little people dancing about in my eyeline..." "It's very off-putting, do you mind?" "Thank you." "Now." "They've all gone." "All gone." "None of them..." "Ever understood." "Not even young Susan." "Or old Vicky..." "And then there's..." "Barbara." "And Chatterton..." "Chesterton." "Oh, God." "Perhaps..." "I should go back to my own time." "To my own planet." "But I..." "I can't..." "I can't..." "Is everything okay?" "I, uh..." "I can't..." "Are you alright?" "I..." "I can't..." "Mr. Hartnell?" "Mr. Hartnell?" "Anneke, turn to me, love." "Turn to me." "Thanks, love." "I could get used to this." "As you can see..." "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya." "It can't go on." "He's become so difficult to work with." "And his lying!" "Ihearya." "The poor man's worn out." "Shame." "Goddamn shame." "So that's that, I suppose." "What do you mean?" "Well, we can't have Doctor Who without Doctor Who, can we?" "Pop, pop, pop" "Sampa, sampa, Sampal" "Oh, hello there." "Where are you going to take the Tardis next, sampa." "Oh, I don't know, darling." "Liz says you should go back in time and see" "Oliver Cromwell and tell him not to be so horrible." "Yeah, maybe I should." "But I want the butterfly men to come back!" "They were pretty." "We did them at school and I was a..." "Listen..." "Judy..." "They could have a big fight with the Daleks." "And you could fly on their backs with a bow and arrow." "Listen, darling, you mustn't expect too much from your old grandfather, you know." "I get very tired these days, and uh..." "Graham Porter says the Tardis will run out of petrol soon." "I need to take things a bit easier." "But I told him he was stupid." "The Tardis will go on and on forever, because it's special and magic, like my sampa." "My sampa is Doctor Who, and he can do anything." "I hope you don't think it presumptuous of me to ask for this meeting, Sydney." "Presumptuous?" "Hell no, Bill." "I was gonna ask you to come in, as it happens." " Oh, yes?" " Yeah..." "Yeah." "Things..." "Things can't go on the way they are." "Exactly!" "Exactly, Sydney." "I'm committed to Doctor Who, 100% committed, but, um," "I need more time off." "Bloody schedule would kill a man half my age." "All those lines they give me!" "The kiddies don't want to hear all that waffle." "Perhaps it would be best if the writers just, um, sort of sketched in the story and left me to, um, make up the rest." "No, no, that's probably a step too far, but you take my meaning?" "Um, I'm the star of the show." "I'm the Doctor, and if we're to continue, you have to take account of that." "Proper account." "We've got great plans for Doctor Who, Bill." "Believe you me, great plans." "Oh, I know." "We're 100% committed, too." "Very glad to hear it." "But we're looking at ways of refreshing it." "Regenerating it." "Mmm, yes..." "Quite right." "Spice things up a bit." " Bill..." " I'm glad we're on the same..." "Wavelength, anyway." "Oh, hell, Bill, there's no easy way of saying this." "Um..." "We want Doctor Who to go on." "Yes." "But not with you." "Like you said, things have gotta change." "I see." "Who..." "Who have you got in mind?" "You're a hard act to follow, Bill." "No need for softsoap, Sydney, you know me better." "Who?" "DO YOU approve?" "Oh, yes, yes." "Quite." "Patrick Troughton." "Excellent choice." "I'm so sorry, Bill." ""Fortune, good night." "Smile once more." ""Turn thy wheel."" "Huh?" "King Lear." "I did it once." "Carried a spear." "Long time ago." "long time ago." "Hmm." "Everything alright, sir?" "Are you okay?" "You need to move along now, sir." "Sir?" "You're in the way." "I'm sorry, sir, but you..." "Aren't you..." "I'm uh...sorry, very sorry, Officer." "You're him, aren't you?" "Very sorry, Officer." "You're Doctor Who!" "Wait till I tell the kids..." "They bloody love you!" "Well, it's been agreed by..." "By mutual consent that I should..." "Pack it in." "Oh..." "Oh, right." "Give it up." "I see." "Well, then." "I think it's for the best." "Truly, I do." "You can't go on like this." "And I've made my mark." "Shown everyone I can do it." "I'm sure it'll lead to lots more interesting stuff." "Mmm?" "Yes." "Well, I'll make us a nice cup of tea." "I..." "I..." "I don't want to go." "I don't want to go." "Oh, Bill." "Well, then, who's who?" "I won't lie to you." "I'm scared stiff." "Oh, you'll be fine." "In fact, you'll be wonderful." "I told them, you know." "There's only one man in England who could take over." "Oh." "Couldn't they get him?" "Standby bell!" "Okay, positions everyone, please." "And roll to record in fifteen..." "I want you to belong somewhere, to have roots of your own." "With David, you'll be able to find those roots." "And live normally like any woman should do." "Believe me, my dear." "Your future lies with David." "And not with a silly old duffer like me." "One day, I shall come back." "Yes, I shall come back." "Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties." "Just go forward in all your beliefs." "And prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."

"The Tyrells are a problem." "The Tyrells helped us defeat Stannis Baratheon." "You must see Highgarden." "I don't think the queen would let me leave King's Landing." "Once I marry Joffrey, I'll be queen." "And if you were to marry Loras..." "You must give yourself to the Lord of Light." " I have a wife." " She's shut away in a tower." "And she's given you no sons, only stillborns." "I lost one son to the Kingslayer, strangled with a chain." "I grieve for your sons, my lord." "I don't want your grief." "I want my vengeance." "Do that again and I'll take your other hand." " What value was the mill?" " I seized an opportunity." "We took hostages-- Willem Lannister, Martyn Lannister." "Willem and Martyn Lannister are 14 years old." "I'm not your enemy." "This woman is evil!" "Take him to the dungeon and lock him in a cell." "You want to assassinate a girl?" " Based on whose information?" " Ser Jorah Mormont." "He is serving as advisor to the Targaryens." "You bring us the whispers of a traitor." "Beric Dondarrion?" "If you mean to murder me, then bloody well get on with it." "You'll die soon enough, but it won't be murder." "I sentence you to trial by combat." "Is it done, then?" "Dracarys." "♪ Game of Thrones 3x05 ♪ Kissed by Fire Original Air Date on April 28, 2013" "♪" "Lord, cast your light upon us." "Lord of Light, defend us." "Show us the truth." "Strike this man down if he is guilty." "Give strength to his sword if he is true." "Lord of Light, give us wisdom." "For the night is dark and full of terrors." "For the night is dark and full of terrors." "Get back." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Guilty." "Kill him!" "Lord, cast your light upon this man, your servant." "Bring him back from death and darkness." "His flame has been extinguished." "Restore it." "For the night is dark and full of terrors." " Lord, cast..." " Arya, don't!" "Bring him back from death and darkness..." "No!" "Let go of me!" "Let me go!" "Looks like their god likes me more than your butcher's boy." "Burn in hell!" "He will." "But not today." "Orell says there are crows patrolling on the Wall." "Tell me what you know." "There are four to a patrol-- two builders to check for structural damage, two rangers to watch for enemies." "How often do these patrols go out?" "It varies." "If I knew where on the Wall we were heading, I could tell you." "You'd like to know that." "There are 19 castles guarding the Wall." "How many are manned?" "Three." "You sure of that?" "Which three?" "Castle Black." "Aye, Castle Black." "Everyone knows Castle Black." "Which others?" "Eastwatch-by-the-Sea and the Shadow Tower." "How many men remain in Castle Black?" " 1,000." " Liar." "What happens to your eagle after I kill you?" "Does he drift away like a kite with his strings cut or does he just flop dead to the ground?" "He's no crow." "Just 'cause you want him inside you don't make him one of us." "I'm not afraid of you." "I like you, boy." "But if you lie to me," "I'll pull your guts out through your throat." "1,000 men." "We'll find out soon enough." "I don't need you to protect me." "Of course you do." "Who stopped Rattleshirt when he was about to cut your throat?" "Who vouched for you with Mance?" "It seems you owe me a debt." " Give it back." " Well, I stole it." "It's mine." "If you want it, come steal it back." "Ygritte!" "Ygritte!" "Ygritte!" "Seven hells." "Ygritte!" "Is Orell right?" "Are you still a crow?" "It's time you proved yourself." "Ygritte." "You swore some vows." "I want you to break 'em." "I want you to see me." "All of me." "We shouldn't." "We should." "Why are you still dressed?" "You know nothing, Jon Sno" "That thing you did with your mouth" "is that what lords do to their ladies in the South?" "I don't know." "I just wanted to kiss you there is all." "Hmm." "You seemed to like it." "Aye, I liked it some." "Who taught you that?" "There's been no one else." "Only you." "A maid." "You were a maid." "I was a man of the Night's Watch." "How about you?" "Were you a maid?" "What do you think?" " Who was he?" " Just a boy." "He came trading with his brothers." "He had red hair like me." "Kissed by fire." "But... he was weak." "Not like you." "That was the first one." "Then there was this Thenn boy." "Spoke no Common, but gods, he was built like a mammoth." "Yeah, thanks." "I think I've heard enough." "We'd best get back." "Tormund" "I'm not done with you yet." "How long's it been since you had a bath?" "Let's not go back." "Let's stay here a while longer." "I don't ever want to leave this cave, Jon Snow." "Not ever." "I want my gold." "It says it clearly right there on that note you'll be repaid in full when the war is over." "Piss on that!" "You're nothing but thieves." "We're outlaws." "Outlaws steal." "You're lucky we didn't kill you." "Come try it, archer." "I'll shove those arrows up your ass." "You can't let him go." "He's a murderer." "He's guilty." " Not in the eyes of god." " You can't!" "Enough!" "The judgment isn't ours to make." "Go in peace, Sandor Clegane." "The Lord of Light isn't done with you yet." "Riders coming through!" "The Kingslayer." "Down!" "On your knees." "Lord Bolton, I give you the Kingslayer." "Pick him up, Locke." "You've lost a hand." "No, my lord, he has it here." " Take this away." " Send it to his father?" "You'll hold your tongue unless you want to lose it." "Cut her free." "Apologies, my lady." "You're under my protection now." "Thank you, my lord." "Find suitable rooms for our guests." "We'll speak later." "Lord Bolton." "Is there word from the capital?" "You haven't heard?" "Stannis Baratheon laid siege to King's Landing." "Sailed into Blackwater Bay." "Stormed the gates with thousands of men." "And your sister..." "How can I put this?" "Your sister... is alive and well." "Your father's forces prevailed." "Ser Jaime isn't well." "Take him to Qyburn." " Will I die?" " No." "The corruption has spread." "I fear it must be cut away." "The safest course would be to take the whole arm off." "Then you'll die." "You're no maester." "Where's your chain?" "The Citadel stripped me of it." "They found some of my experiments too bold." "I can leave your upper arm, make the cut at your elbow." "I don't need my right hand to kill you." "I can take away the rotting flesh and try and burn out the corruption" " with boiling wine." " Mmm." "With any luck, that will suffice." "You'll need milk of the poppy." " No milk of the poppy." " There will be pain." " I'll scream." " Quite a bit of pain." "I'll scream loudly." "Lord Baelish." "Your Grace." "I wonder if I might ask you for a favor." "Of course, Your Grace." "I have reason to believe that House Tyrell do not hold the crown's best interests at heart." "I see." "And have you shared these suspicions with Lord Tywin?" "My father's a practical man." "He appreciates facts." "Myself, I often find them a hindrance." "And he appreciates those who aid his family, as you well know." "He's almost as generous to those who help us as he is unpleasant towards those who don't." "You have a good working relationship with the Tyrells." "I thought you might look into it before you leave the capital." " I shall do my best." " Thank you." "And your best will prove better than when I asked you to locate Arya Stark?" "I assure you that it will." "Gods, boy, that's enough." "We're not in a tavern." " Pardon, my lady." " No need to speak." "Are there any figs?" "Fetch some." "I always take figs midafternoon." "They help move the bowels." "To what do I owe this summons?" "Thank you for seeing me, my lady." "I had hoped we might discuss a few financial matters." "I climbed all those steps to discuss financial matters?" "It's the royal wedding." "I'm told you had a hand in planning it." "Naturally." "It's shaping up to be a very involved affair." "The word extravagant has been used." "What good is the word extravagant if it can't be used to describe a royal wedding?" " I understand that." " Good." "But, as Master of Coin, it falls upon me to calculate the cost for the crown." "As of now, it's a huge expense." "And?" "And we're at war, Lady Olenna." "Oh, I'd nearly forgotten." "Yes, and maintaining supply lines" "I can't think how it slipped my mind." "What is it, 12,000 infantrymen the Tyrell family has supplied?" "1,800 mounted lances." "2,000 in support." "Provisions so this city might survive the winter." "A million bushels of wheat." "Half a million bushels each of barley, oats, and rye." "20,000 head of cattle." "50,000 sheep." "You don't have to lecture me about wartime expenses." "I'm quite familiar with them." "And we are so grateful for your contributions which are necessary for the preservation of the realm." "As is a royal wedding." "The people are hungry for more than just food." "They crave distractions." "And if we don't provide them, they'll create their own." "And their distractions are likely to end with us being torn to pieces." "A royal wedding is much safer." " Wouldn't you say?" " I would." "And traditionally paid for by the royal family." "I was told you were drunk, impertinent, and thoroughly debauched." "You can imagine my disappointment at finding nothing but a browbeaten bookkeeper." "Where did you go for them, Volantis?" " My lady" " Oh, very well." "I won't have it said that House Tyrell refuses to play its part." "We'll pay for half the expenses and the celebrations will go on as planned." " Is that sufficient?" " Quite sufficient." "Thank you." "Very good, then." "That's settled." "Good day." "Give me that." "What are you doing?" "Just mending Lord Beric's armor." "Why?" "I'm going to stay on and smith for the Brotherhood." "Have you lost your mind?" "When the Lannisters find this place, you think they'll spare the smiths?" "They'll cave your head in with your own helmet." "The Lannisters wanted to kill me long before I joined the Brotherhood." "You don't have to do this." "I want to." "They need good men." "Robb needs good men, too." "We're leaving tomorrow." " And then you" " What?" "Serve him?" "I've served men my entire life." "I served Master Mott at King's Landing and he sold me to the Watch." "I served Lord Tywin at Harrenhal, wondering every day if I'd get tortured or killed." "I'm done serving." "You just said you were serving Lord Beric." "He may be their leader, but they chose him." "These men are brothers." "They're a family." "I've never had a family." "I can be your family." "You wouldn't be my family." "You'd be "my lady."" "Willem." "Willem!" " Is this a rescue?" " Lannister filth!" "Take him!" "Please, I didn't do anything." "I'm just a squire." "Please" "Bring them in." "Is that all of them?" "It took five of you to murder two unarmed squires?" "Not murder, Your Grace." "Vengeance." "Vengeance?" "Those boys didn't kill your sons." "I saw Harrion die on the battlefield and Torrhen" "Was strangled by the Kingslayer." " They were his kin." " They were boys!" "Look at them." "Tell your mother to look at them." "She killed them as much as I." "My mother had nothing to do with this." "This was your treason." "It's treason to free your enemies." "In war, you kill your enemies." "Did your father not teach you that, boy?" "Leave him." "Aye." "Leave me to the king." "He wants to give me a scolding before he sets me free." "That's how he deals with treason." "Our King in the North." "Or should I call him the King Who Lost the North?" "Escort Lord Karstark to the dungeon." "Hang the rest." "Mercy, sire!" "I didn't kill anyone." "I only watched for the guards." "This one was only the watcher." "Hang him last so he can watch the others die." "Please!" "Please, no." "They made me do it!" "They made me!" "They made me!" "Word of this can't leave Riverrun." "They were Tywin Lannister's nephews." "The Lannisters pay their debts." "They never stop talking about it." "Would you make me a liar as well as a murderer?" "It wouldn't be lying." "We will bury them and remain silent until the war is done." "I'm not fighting for justice if I don't serve justice to murderers in my ranks, no matter how highborn." "He has to die." "The Karstarks are Northmen." "They won't forgive the killing of their lord." "Your mother's right." "If you do this, the Karstarks will abandon you." "You tended to their wounds." "You brought them supper." "Now they're dead." "And more boys will keep dying until this war is over." "You need Karstark men to end it." "Spare his life." "Keep him as a hostage." "A hostage." "Tell the Karstarks that as long as they remain loyal, he will not be harmed." "The blood of the First Men flows through my veins as much as yours, boy." "I fought the Mad King for your father." "I fought Joffrey for you." "We are kin" "Stark and Karstark." "That didn't stop you from betraying me." "And it won't save you now." "I don't want it to save me." "I want it to haunt you to the end of your days." "Kneel, my lord." "Rickard Karstark," "Lord of Karhold, here in sight of gods and men, I sentence you to die." "Would you speak a final word?" "Kill me and be cursed." "You are no king of mine." "Joffrey." "Cersei." "Ilyn Payne." "Ser Meryn." "The Hound." "What are you going to do with me?" "At first light we'll ride for Riverrun." "Your brother's there now." "He'll make a contribution to our cause and you can go home." "I'm a hostage and you're selling me." "Don't think of it that way." " But it is that way." " It is." " And it isn't." " More is than isn't." "Beric admired your father a great deal, you know." "He wanted to refuse your ransom altogether." " So why don't you?" " We need the gold." "Do I frighten you, child?" "No." "You're angry with me." "And I don't blame you." "But letting him go was the right thing." "I have more reason than most to want him hanged." " I thought he killed you." " He did." "But how...?" "Thoros... how many times have you brought me back?" "It's the Lord of Light brings you back." "I'm just the lucky drunk who says the words." " How many times?" " Five, I think." "No, this makes six." "Six." "There was the first time-- the Mountain." "Show her." "Lance right through the chest." "Then I was stabbed in the belly." "Then it was an arrow in the back." "And that axe in the side." "Then the Lannisters caught me and executed me for treason." "Was it a hanging or a dagger in the eye?" "Both." "Fuckers couldn't decide." "And the Hound makes six." "Second time I've been killed by a Clegane." "You'd think you'd learn." "It's not getting any easier, you know." "I know." "Every time I come back," "I'm a bit less." "Pieces of you get chipped away." "Could you bring back a man without a head?" "Not six times." "Just once." "I don't think it works that way, child." "He was a good man, Ned Stark." "He's at rest now, somewhere." "I would never wish my life upon him." "I would." "You're alive." "Lord, cast your light upon me." "Protect me in the darkness." "Burn away my sins." "Help me serve you." "Use me as you will." "For the night is dark and full of terrors." "I have prayed day and night for you to come to me." "My lady." "I meant to come sooner." " The battle" " I know of your troubles, my king." "The Lady Melisandre has told me everything." "Yes, of course." "You mustn't despair." "Your claim is true." " You will be victorious." " I believed that once." "You are the one god's champion and the finest man I've ever known." "Selyse." "I've broken a sacred vow." "I've sinned." " No." " I've wronged you." " I have shamed you." " You're doing god's work." "You don't understand." "The Red Woman-- the Lady Melisandre" "I know, Stannis." "The Lady Melisandre has told me everything." "No act done in service of the Lord of Light can ever be a sin." "When she told me," "I wept with joy." "Oh, my sweet boys." "Petyr, Tommard," "Edric." "I thank god every day for bringing Melisandre to us." "She gave you a son." "I gave you..." " nothing." " That's not true." "So you've come to see her as well?" "There is no need." "You must keep away from such distractions." "She's my daughter." "I want to see her." "You are a king." "You don't need my permission." "♪ Under the sea ♪" "♪ I know, I know ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ The birds have scales ♪" "♪ And the fish take wing ♪" "♪ I know, I know ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪" "Shireen." "Father!" "You've grown since I last saw you." "Mother said you fought in a battle." "Did you win?" "No." "Did the Onion Knight come back with you?" "He did." "He fought bravely." "He hasn't come to visit me." "He said he'd bring me back a present from the capital." "He won't be visiting, child." "Why not?" "He's my friend." "Look." "He made this for me." "But don't tell Mother I have it." "It's a secret." "Mother doesn't like the Onion Knight." "Ser Davos is a traitor." "He's rotting in a dungeon cell for his crime." "Best forget him." "Not so hard." "You'll scrub the skin off." "What are you doing here?" "I need a bath." "Help me out of these rags." "Now get out." "There's another tub." "This one suits me fine." "Don't worry." "I'm not interested." "If I faint, pull me out." "I don't intend to be the first Lannister to die in a bathtub." "Why should I care how you die?" "You swore a solemn vow, remember?" "You're supposed to get me to King's Landing in one piece." "Not going so well, is it?" "No wonder Renly died with you guarding him." "That was unworthy." "Forgive me." "You protected me better than most" " Don't you mock me." " I'm apologizing." "I'm sick of fighting." "Let's call a truce." "You need trust to have a truce." "I trust you." "There it is." "There's the look." "I've seen it for 17 years on face after face." "You all despise me." "Kingslayer." "Oathbreaker." "A man without honor." "You've heard of wildfire?" "Of course." "The Mad King was obsessed with it." "He loved to watch people burn, the way their skin blackened and blistered and melted off their bones." "He burned lords he didn't like." "He burned Hands who disobeyed him." "He burned anyone who was against him." "Before long, half the country was against him." "Aerys saw traitors everywhere." "So he had his pyromancer place caches of wildfire all over the city-- beneath the Sept of Baelor and the slums of Flea Bottom." "Under houses, stables, taverns." "Even beneath the Red Keep itself." "Finally, the day of reckoning came." "Robert Baratheon marched on the capital after his victory at the Trident." "But my father arrived first with the whole Lannister army at his back, promising to defend the city against the rebels." "I knew my father better than that." "He's never been one to pick the losing side." "I told the Mad King as much." "I urged him to surrender peacefully." "But the king didn't listen to me." "He didn't listen to Varys who tried to warn him." "But he did listen to Grand Maester Pycelle, that grey, sunken cunt." ""You can trust the Lannisters," he said." ""The Lannisters have always been true friends of the crown."" "So we opened the gates and my father sacked the city." "Once again, I came to the king, begging him to surrender." "He told me to... bring him my father's head." "Then he... turned to his pyromancer." ""Burn them all," he said." ""Burn them in their homes." "Burn them in their beds."" "Tell me, if your precious Renly commanded you to kill your own father and stand by while thousands of men, women, and children burned alive, would you have done it?" "Would you have kept your oath then?" "First, I killed the pyromancer." "And then when the king turned to flee," "I drove my sword into his back." ""Burn them all," he kept saying." ""Burn them all."" "I don't think he expected to die." "He-- he meant to... burn with the rest of us and rise again, reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash." "I slit his throat to make sure that didn't happen." "That's where Ned Stark found me." "If this is true... why didn't you tell anyone?" "Why didn't you tell Lord Stark?" "Stark?" "You think the honorable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side?" "He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me." "By what right does the wolf judge the lion?" " By what right?" " Help!" "Help!" "The Kingslayer!" "Jaime." "My name is Jaime." "Onion Knight." "Ser Onion Knight." "Princess?" "Gods, what are you doing here?" " Shh, you'll wake Bert." " Bert?" "He's the fat one." "He's on guard duty tonight." "He likes to drink wine and sleep a lot." "Go back to your room." "You're not supposed to be here." " If your father knew" " He said you were a traitor." "Are you?" "I am, child." "I disobeyed my king, your father, and now I'm paying the price." "I don't care." "You're my friend." "You must get bored down here." "I brought you something to read." "It's about Aegon and his dragons." "Aegon used to live here." "Did you know that?" " And the Targaryens built this castle." " Aye." " So they did." " You can hide the book under your cloak." "It's a good one." "I'll bring you more." "Thank you, my lady." "I'm sure it's a fine book, but it's wasted on me." "Take it." "I have more." "My lady, I can't read the words." "You can't?" "I'll teach you." "I'll come when Bert's on duty and teach you." " No." "No." "No." " It's easy." "It'll be fun." " Go." "We can't." " Why not?" "What will they do, lock us in cells?" "I wouldn't know where to start." "At the beginning." "This word is Aegon." "When you see A, E, and G together like that, it sounds like egg." "And the title of the whole book is "An History of Aegon the Conqueror and His Conquest of Westeros."" "It was a bitch of a siege." "Mm, you were first through the breach at Pyke?" "The second." "Thoros of Myr went in alone, waving that flaming sword of his." "Thoros of Myr." "Bloody madman." "Robert knighted you after the battle?" "Proudest moment of my life." "One knee in the dust, the king's sword on my shoulder, listening to the words." ""In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave."" "All I could think of was how badly I had to piss." "In full plate metal for 16 hours." "Never occurred to me till the fighting was over." "I was very nearly the first man knighted to piss on the king's boots." "Robert would have laughed." "He was a good man, a great warrior." "And a terrible king." "I burned away my years fighting for terrible kings." " You swore an oath." " Yes." "And a man of honor keeps his vows, even if he's serving a drunk or a lunatic." "Just once in my life before it's over," "I want to know what it's like to serve with pride, to fight for someone I believe in." "Do you believe in her?" "With all my heart." "These are the ones?" "Yes, khaleesi." "The officers." "All Unsullied boys are given new names when they are cut" "Grey Worm, Red Flea, Black Rat." "Names that remind them what they are-- vermin." "King Robert wanted her dead." "Of course he wanted her dead." "She's a Targaryen." "The last Targaryen." "I suppose no one on the small council could speak sense to him." " I didn't sit on the small council." " No?" "Doesn't the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard traditionally" "Traditionally, yes, but I killed a dozen of Robert's friends during his rebellion." "He didn't want advice on how to govern from a man who had fought for the Mad King." "Can't say I minded much." "I always hated the politics." "Yeah, I imagine I would, too." "Hours spent jabbering about backstabbings" " and betrayals the world over." " Mm-hmm." "Still, she'll have to wade through that muck if she wants to rule the Seven Kingdoms." "She'll have good men around her to advise her, men with experience." "Which men do you have in mind?" "Forgive me, Ser Jorah, for what I'm about to say, but your reputation in Westeros has suffered over the years." "It suffered for a reason." "I sold men into slavery." "I don't know if your presence by her side will help our cause when we go home." "Our cause?" "Forgive me, Ser Barristan, but I was busy defending the khaleesi against King Robert's assassins while you were still bowing to the man." "We both want her to rule." "Am I wrong?" "You only joined us a few days ago." "I can't speak to your intentions." "If we're truly her loyal servants, we will do whatever needs to be done, no matter the cost, no matter our pride." "You're not Lord Commander here." "You're just another exile." "And I take my orders from the queen." " Come to bed." " You were right." "The Karstarks are gone." "Almost half our forces." "Tywin Lannister knows what he needs to do to make us unravel." "Nothing." "Only wait." "Don't let him." "What can I do?" "Attack King's Landing?" "There's nothing he'd like better." "He'd crush us in a day." "We could ride north." "Take your land back from the Greyjoys." " Wait out the winter." " Winter could last five years." "Once my bannermen are home again, sitting by the fire, surrounded by their families, warm and safe, they'll never ride south again." "When I gathered my lords together, we had a purpose, a mission." "Now we're like a band of bickering children." "Give them a new purpose." "What?" "Oh, I don't know." "I don't even know where Winterfell is." "Here." "And we're here." "King's Landing" "What is it?" "I can't force them to meet us in the field and I can't attack them where they're strongest, but I can attack them where they're not." "And Casterly Rock can't run away." "I'm going to take their home away from them." "Can you do it?" "I need men to replace the Karstarks who marched home." "There is only one person in this kingdom with that kind of army who hasn't already sided with the Lannisters." "The man whose daughter I was supposed to marry" "Walder Frey." "He's such a splendid fighter." "Do you have any idea when we might..." "I'll plant the seed as soon as Joffrey and I are married." "It should grow quickly." "Joffrey won't let me leave." "He's got too many reasons to keep me here." "And only one to let you go." "Because it will please me." "Squire!" "Well fought, ser." "That was no fight." "I don't know you." "Olyver, if it please you." "I should like to see you spar with a proper partner, ser." "How did you know?" "Know what?" "That I wanted to." "My lord..." "I'll have you know I'm to be married soon and even my intended hasn't the slightest notion." "They rarely do, in my experience." "You have a good deal of experience, do you?" "With the husbands." "That didn't take long." "Well, it took long enough." "It seems our Knight of Flowers is engaged to be wed." "Is he?" "And... who's the lucky girl?" "She may not be the grandest ship in the world or the fastest, but she's mine." "I've always wanted a ship." "Now I want a dozen." " Strange, isn't it?" " What is?" "It doesn't matter what we want, once we get it, then we want something else." "Your hair is different." "Is it?" "Lady Margaery wears it that way." "Many ladies wear it this way." "I have good news." "I'll be leaving the city soon." "You still want me to come with you?" "It's not a question of what I want." "It's what you want." "You want to go home, don't you?" "Of course." "More than anything." "But maybe it would be better to wait." "I've been thinking how dangerous it would be." "Not just for me, but for you." "You've been so kind." "I'd feel terrible if anything happened to you." "I can't tell you how touched I am by your concern for my welfare." "I hope you know that I'm your friend, Sansa." "Your true friend." "I do, Lord Baelish." " Petyr." " Petyr." "If you wish to stay, then of course you will stay." "We'll speak again when I return." "You're late." "What's she doing here?" "Our business concerns her, too." "Sit." "You'll be pleased to learn that after one conversation with Olenna Tyrell," "I've saved the crown hundreds of thousands on this wedding." "Never mind that now." "We have something important to discuss." "I'm Master of Coin." "Saving money is important." "Stop that." "You're making me uncomfortable." "Your sister has learned that your new friends the Tyrells are plotting to marry Sansa Stark to Ser Loras." "Very well." "She's a lovely girl." "Missing some of Loras' favorite bits, but I'm sure they'll make do." " Your jokes are not appreciated." " It wasn't my best, but" "I bring them into the royal fold and this is how they repay me, by trying to steal the key to the North out from under me." "Sansa is the key to the North?" "I seem to remember she has an older brother." "The Karstarks have marched home." "The young wolf has lost half his army." "His days are numbered." "Theon Greyjoy murdered both his brothers." "That makes Sansa Stark the heir to Winterfell." "And I am not about to hand her over to the Tyrells." "The Tyrell army is helping us to win this war." "Do you really think it's wise to refuse them?" "There's nothing to refuse." "This is a plot." "Plots are not public knowledge." "And the Tyrells won't carry this one out until after Joffrey's wedding." "We need to act first and kill this union in its crib." "And how do we do that?" "We find Sansa Stark a different husband." " Wonderful." " Yes, it is." "You can't mean it." "I can and I do." "Joffrey has made this poor girl's life miserable since the day he took her father's head." "Now she's finally free of him and you give her to me?" "That's cruel even for you." "Do you intend on mistreating her?" "The girl's happiness is not my concern," " nor should it be yours." " She's a child!" "She's flowered, I assure you." "She and I have discussed it at length." "There, you see?" "You will wed her, bed her, and put a child in her." " Surely you're capable of that." " And if I refuse?" "You wanted to be rewarded for your valor in battle." "Sansa Stark is a finer reward than you could ever dare hope for." "And it is past time you were wed." "I was wed." "Or don't you remember?" "Only too well." "You should be thanking the gods for this." "This is more than you deserve." "Tyrion will do as he's bid." "As will you." "What do you mean?" "You'll marry Ser Loras." " I will not." " The boy is heir to Highgarden." "Tyrion will secure the North, you will secure the Reach." " No, I won't do it." " Yes, you will." "You're still fertile." "You need to marry again and breed." "I am Queen Regent, not some broodmare." "You're my daughter!" "You will do as I command and you will marry Loras Tyrell and put an end to the disgusting rumors about you once and for all." "Father, don't make me do it again, please." "Not another word." "My children." "You've disgraced the Lannister name for far too long." "♪ It's always summer ♪" "♪ Under the sea ♪" "♪ I know, I know ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ The birds have scales ♪" "♪ And the fish take wing ♪" "♪ I know, I know ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ The rain is dry ♪" "♪ And snow falls up ♪" "♪ I know, I know ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ The stones crack open ♪" "♪ The water burns ♪" "♪ The shadows come to dance ♪" "♪ My lord ♪" "♪ The shadows come ♪" "♪ To play ♪" "♪ The shadows come to dance ♪" "♪ My lord ♪" "♪ The shadows come ♪" "♪ To stay. ♪"

"Previously on Brothers and Sisters:" "You're a heartthrob with a girlfriend." "It'd be stupid to think this is anything more than what it is." " I'm in rehab." " Out making amends?" "You were the best thing that's happened to me." " I'm seeing someone." " This is a vineyard called Greendale." "William Walker felt very strongly that Ojai Foods should be in the wine-making business." "I just hope that someday I could be worthy of your love and respect." "Whether together or not." "We've been here a minute and haven't done anything." "It's not that I don't want to." "I don't mean I do want to." "It's just that even if I did want to, I couldn't." " Are you OK?" " Uh, yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "I'm fine." "I'm fine." " You sure?" " Yeah." "How are you?" "OK." "Don't worry." "You'll get used to my hair in the morning." "Oh." "No." "No, it wasn't that." "What was it?" " Oh, it was an earthquake." " Earthquake?" "Yeah, yeah." "Those happen in California." "I think it was about a five." "Or maybe even a 6.2 or something." " You didn't feel it?" " No." "Huh." "Well, check the news." "I'm gonna go to the, you know, the bathroom." "That's the closet." "Yeah." "I knew that." "It's pretty." "Pretty day." "Here's the bathroom." " Kit." "How was your Valentine's?" " Sarah!" "Thank God!" "Oh, my God!" "Thank God you picked up." "You are never gonna believe this." "I slept with McCallister." "Oh, God, Kitty." "You scared me." "I thought something bad had happened." "Something bad did happen!" "Do you understand I work for him?" " He is my boss!" " Oh, please." "Sleeping with co-workers is a reflex for you." "Anyway, didn't you say he was also attracted to you?" " We agreed we wouldn't act on it." " Give me a break." "When have you slept with someone you didn't work with?" "Oh, you know what?" "Be nice!" "Just be nice, OK?" "You know..." "It just... it happened so fast." "I hadn't even kissed him, and we're sleeping together?" "What if he thinks I'm easy?" "I mean, just come on." "Think back to college when you and all those guys..." "Finish that sentence and I'm calling my favorite tabloid." "So how was he?" "Sarah, please." "As if I would ever even..." "You know, he was great." "I thought the only position Republicans could commit to" " was missionary." " Can we get back to the fact I'm sitting in a hotel room with a naked politicianlmy boss." " Hold on." "It's Kevin calling me." " OK." "Hello, Kevin." "I just..." "I can't talk right now." " I'm in the middle of something." " Nothing is more important than this." " I slept with him." " Who?" "Chad?" "No." "I've been sleeping with Chad." "What?" "More surprising than having an affair with a soap star?" "Scotty." "I slept with Scotty." "Oh, well, that's great!" "I like Scotty." "It's not great." "He's my ex." "Know what that means?" "Can you just hold on?" "I'm on the other line with Sarah." "You're never gonna believe this." "Kevin slept with Scotty last night." " Hello?" " And just like that," " you were gonna betray my trust." " You know what?" "You're like the CNN of our family." "Just hold on." "Hey, Sarah, sorry." "So Kevin slept with Scotty last night." "Shut up!" "Get the details." "I'll hold." "I wouldn't tell him about Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," " if you know what I mean." " OK." "Spill it quickly." " I have a crisis." " What crisis?" "It's 8:00 in the morning." "Did something happen last night?" "Did we get I?" "Oh, my God, you and McCallister?" "No, I didn't." "We didn't." "We didn't." "How does he look naked?" "Good?" "Was it hot in that morally reprehensible kind of way?" "Justin's calling." "Hold on." " Guess what?" " I messed up, bro." "OK." "Well, at least you're still alive." "I didn't do drugs, moron." "Just... just Tyler." " Oh, you ass." " I'm not supposed to have sex yet." " I'll replace my addiction." " After rehab you're sworn to celibacy?" "Yeah." "Kind of." " Look, I gotta go." " OK, whatever." " Justin got back with Tyler last night." " Oh, you're kidding." " Did you tell him?" " We're having sexes with exes?" "No, but I can't wait to." "Mom's calling." "I'm gonna hang up so it'll go to voice mail" " or she'll know I'm avoiding her call." " All right." "Bye." " You better have crème de la gossip." " Justin slept with Tyler." " Kevin is the source." " You're all sluts!" "How is it that I am the only one that can't get laid on Valentine's Day?" " Mom is trying to call me." "Hang on." " Don't you put me on hold." "I want the juice." "Call her back." " Does the senator sleep in the nude?" " Well, in fact... he does." "Mom's calling me now." "Your turn to hold." "Hi, Mom." "Justin's fine." "He's with Tyler." "Good." "Good." "But that's not really why I called." "For the record, I tried to bother Kitty and Kevin with this first." "Well, I appreciate that, Mom." "What can I help you with?" "Sarah, could you come pick me up... soon?" "I think I'm close to your work." "And I'll need you to bring your checkbook." "Where are you?" "You know that building on Huntington across the street from the bank?" "The one with the real tall fence around it?" "You mean the Pasadena police station?" "Yes, sweetie." "That's it." "That's it." " Bad news." " I'll call you back." "I got off the phone with our real estate agent." "Greendale Vineyards was all but ours until Santa Ynez Food" " put in a higher bid." " Oh, that is bad." "Dad used to drink with Bill Harmsen." "The last thing he should be doing" " is trying to buy a vineyard." " How much more?" " Four million." " What?" " We're looking at eight." " So much for Holly's spiel about the vineyard undervalued." "Doesn't mean it wouldn't be a solid investment." " Are you kidding?" " There's nothing solid about wine." "Especially when you dive into it with no experience." "Exactly." "Now, can we please just close the book on this?" "Holly will have an aneurysm." "If Holly wants to overturn my decision, she goes to the board and gets 75 percent of the vote to overrule me." "Then again, probably not." "She still has a considerable amount of Ojai stock." "Come on, Saul." "If any major shareholder came in here they would get the same result." "As for Holly, long as we don't have a Gold Digging Division, she's of absolutely no use to Ojai Foods or to me." " What was that?" " Football." " The backbone of American sports." " I thought football season was over." " Office football has no season." " Tax dollars at work." " Can I, um, talk to you for a second?" " Sure." " What's up?" " Your scheduling person just told me" "I had to go to San Diego for the night." "Sorry." "I'm seeing a major donor and I need it to look like, you know," " people work for me." " And I'm the only one going because?" "It's Valentine's Day." "The rest of the staff is otherwise engaged." "How do you know that I can go to San Diego?" " That I don't have plans?" " No, no, no." "I know." " You told me." "You're on a man diet." " A man-fast." "It's a man-fast." " Because that sounds so much better." " Who's the donor?" " Michael Pellington." " You mean the... the billionaire?" "Hope so." "Gonna be asking for a lot of money." " Where're you going?" " I'm going home." "To pack." "It's an overnight." "Just throw something in a bag." "I am going to San Diego with a U.S. Senator to see a billionaire." "I am going to bring options." "Hey, Kitty." "Good catch." " Isn't that your friend?" " Yeah." " What's his name again?" " Uh..." "Kev... in." "Kevin!" "Come stretch with us." "Come on!" "Don't be shy." " Hey." " Look at those glutes." "I can't believe you're single." "You are single, right?" " Yeah." " I can see it." "In those sad blue eyes." " Michelle." " What?" "He's a big boy." "Let me hook you up with friends." " Do they look like you?" " Yes, they do." "Then no." " What?" "You like big boobs?" " I've retired from the boob business." " Holy crap!" "You're, like, gay." " Not "like" gay." "I'm the real thing." ""I'm the real thing. " I love the way you talk." "You're funny." "And you make six figures." "If you were straight, you would have the hottest girlfriend." "What kind of guys do you go for?" "Come on, Chad." "What's his type?" "Um..." " He's hard to please." " What?" "Business men?" " No." " Ivy Leaguers?" " Big beefy gym bunnies?" " I prefer them slightly waifish." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" " The best guy for you ever!" " Michelle," "I'm not sure Kevin's desperate to meet somebody." "He's busy." "I'm interested." "I can't believe I didn't think about this before." "You guys will love each other." "He's well put together, he's gorgeous." " What are you doing for Valentine's?" " Nothing." "Then it's offic." "You're coming to my sister's Valentine's Day party." "Don't worry." "I'm hooking you up huge." "You're gonna thank me." "I swear, all the best guys I meet are gay." "Except you, of course, babe." " Hey, Tommy." "Do you have five minutes?" " For you, Holly, I have three." "I just got off the phone with Bill Harmsen." "What an ass." "I can't believe your father and he were friends." "They weren't." "Just civil." "Top two local supplying orchards in the valley." "Couldn't be any more direct competition." "In our heyday, Dad used to compare Ojai Foods and Saint Ynez..." "To the Lakers and the Celtics." "I remember." "Yeah." "It was a bad analogy." "If it was such a bad investment, why would your father's competitor be interested in the same property?" "Would you just let it go?" "My sister's the president." "She made the call." "Tommy..." "Your father was going to buy the winery next year." "He knew that when he wrote his will." "He died before he could give you the vineyard." "He wanted you to run it." "That's why he left you as vice president of Ojai." "What are you talking about?" "It's the only reason that he brought Sarah on in the first place." "It was too much responsibility for anyone to run both companies." "He saw it as the future for this family." "Your future." "Why would he think I'd know the first thing about a winery?" "He didn't know anything about wine either, but he knew about business." "And he believed in you more than anyone." "He knew you wouldn't let him down." "Yeah." "Look, Holly, this conversation is over." "Fair enough." "I mean, it's really not your call anyhow." " You weren't kidding about packing." " I needed to plan." "High heels, low heels, flats, sandals, sneakers, flip-flops." "I figured out why we're going to see Michael Pellington." " Thank you." "He's a contributor..." " Right." "Very good cover." "I've been looking over your schedule." "Stops in Iowa and New Hampshire." "Family in New Hampshire, plane refuels in Iowa." "What about states with major primaries that don't have relatives or jet fuel?" "I think they all pretty much have jet fuel." " What's wrong with the elevator?" " It doesn't have roof access." "We're going on that?" "No, no, I've never been on one before." "I bet you wish you'd packed less." "Anyway, we're going to Pellington because you don't have money." "Not as much as you'd need to..." "Not even enough to form a committee to determine whether or not you can even raise the money." "If you're gonna ask me something, you should just ask it." "Senator, are you running for president?" "Why, yes I am, Ms. Walker." "And you know what else?" "I'm gonna win." "God." "I absolutely have to have sex with my husband tonight." "It is a biological imperative." "Can we talk about the numbers on the winery?" " I think you're valuation was too low." " Whoa." "Where did that come from?" "I think you overestimated the first-quarter losses." "I don't think." "We know absolutely nothing about wine." "You think Dad had some intrinsic knowledge about fruit?" "She got to you, didn't she?" "Sarah, I think you're in denial about how well Holly knew Dad" " and what he told her." " What exactly has she told you?" " What line of bull?" " Happy Valentine's Day." "One grasps for a bigger oxymoron." "Admit it." "You're ignoring a possibility because of pride." " She's manipulating you." " Will you give me some credit?" "Credit for what?" "She said Dad was gonna buy it for me to run." "Oh, boy." "That's not even manipulation, that's just evil." "This is what I'm talking about." "You don't trust my judgment, even though the last time you did, we found 30 million dollars." "Tommy." "Oh, boy." "Holly's doing?" "That woman, she's a piece of work." "I won't have her driving a wedge between you two." "Thank you, Saul." "That allows me to spend the rest of my day focusing on the really important work:" "Just trying to find a baby-sitter for Valentine's night." "I regretted what I said to Tommy soon as the words came out of my mouth." " I knew they could be misinterpreted." " Misinterpreted?" "What I said to him was the truth." "And, Sarah, well, I know that I cannot change her opinion of me, which is why I approached him in the first place." "So you can see now how that was an error in judgment." "I can, I do and I'm sorry." " It won't happen again." " Yeah." " OK." " Then I have another proposal for you:" " Dinner." "Tonight." " Dinner on Valentine's Day?" "Well, I think we've been down that road before, Holly, so..." "This would be a completely different road." "A totally platonic one." "Two friends who have no one to be with on a holiday." "Come on." "For old times' sake?" "I know it may seem unlikely, but like Kennedy said," " "Fortune favors the brave. "" " No." "Virgil wrote that." "Kennedy said, "Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly. "" " Same difference." " Why didn't you tell me?" " I did tell you." " Well, after I figured it out." "Did it ever occur to you that some of the people who you work with don't want to be part of a presidential race?" " Then they'll quit." " Did it ever occur to you that I don't want to be a part?" "This isn't what I signed up for?" "Really?" "I'm fairly certain that you don't see yourself running communications for the rest of your life." "We both know that would be a waste of your talent." "You want to be center stage, not bush league." "We really have to do something about your mixing of metaphors." "Senator, I'm sorry, but you're just not gonna get the presidential nomination." "Well, then I'll work on my metaphors." " Here we go." " Bob." "So sorry." " Michael." " Korean cell phone company we recently acquired:" "Nothing but a thorn in my side." "Meet Kitty Walker." "Kitty, Michael Pellington," " "The man who pillaged Silicon Valley. "" " What a title." "Bob flatters me." "I didn't pillage anyone's valley." "I might have plundered it slightly." "Who is this guy Michelle's trying to set me up with?" "Am I gonna like him?" "No." "You've already fallen for somebody else." "This whole affair is giving my ulcer an anxiety attack." "It's my career, Kev." "We've been over this." "I know." "It's just taking its toll on me, that's all." "You're never gonna want anything more, I'm always going to." "There's an inevitable outcome, Chad." "You're not my prisoner." "I'm not making you stay in this." "No, we're both your prisoner." "I'm sorry." "I don't know what else to do." "Here." "It's a... valentine." "To make up for dragging you into the closet with me for this long." "This is way too much." "No, it's not." "Please come tonight." "I know we can't be together for Valentine's Day, but it doesn't mean I don't want to see you." "Oh, look." "Here's a picture of you and Tyler." "I really liked her." "She was so sweet and had direction." "Not like the other one." "What was her name?" "Chick, Calf?" " Fawn, Mom." "Fawn." " Fawn." "I didn't care for Fawn." " What ever happened to Tyler?" " Uh... she's seeing someone else." "Oh." " Have you given her a call?" " No." "I'm gonna leave that alone." "No girl wants to be left alone." "So what if she turns you down once or ten times." "The only things of real value in life are the things you have to fight for." "You're teaching me to be a stalker." "Well, since you have no plans for Valentine's Day, we could do something." "I have reservations at this great little French restaurant." "And maybe we could go to that animated movie after, where the animals escape from the farm or the zoo and all go nuts." " What up?" " Hey, snot face." "You call me snot face when you want something." "What is it?" "Uh... yeah." "Yeah, listen." "I know this is a lot to ask on Valentine's Day and you just got home, and you can absolutely say no, but is there any chance you could baby-sit tonight?" " Absolutely." "I'll be right over." " You..." " Mom?" " What?" "I need to baby-sit for Joe and Sarah." "I love you." "Happy Valentine's Day." "Well, I could baby-sit." " I'm sorry I can't help you." " We haven't asked for anything yet." "Yet." "But you will." "In fact, you will ask me for money, enough to bankroll the first few months." " Stop me when I'm wrong." " Keep talking." "People don't come to my office for the view." "Certainly not war hero senators with triangulated voting records." "I prefer "mainstream"." "Your entire career has been aimed towards the White House." "And you know what?" "I admire that." "But, Bob, and I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, you are a poor investment." "You're not gonna get the nomination." "You're young, Catholic, from California, your brother's gay, and forget that, the divorce." "It knocks you out of this round." "I'm sorry." " I just can't say it any plainer." " But even if you could, it wouldn't make you more right." "Voters just want somebody who can do the job." "They want a leader." "And leaders are not made by satisfying some set of criteria, marital or otherwise." "In fact, leaders aren't made at all." "They stand out, self-evident, because they can lead." "You happen to be sitting across from somebody who can." "Please, we're not trying to sell you, to convince you." "But I think by 2008, when we're transitioning into the White House, you're gonna be damn sorry that you missed this opportunity." "So I think we're done here." "Oh, but there is one more thing." "His name's not Bob, it's Robert." "And you really should be calling him senator." "Millions of people didn't elect him to office to be called Bob, Mike." " She hasn't been doing this long?" " No." "Not at all." " Should I go get her?" " No, no, no." "It's..." "Let me." "Ms. Walker, I'm intrigued by your enthusiasm for the senator." "He has made a believer out of you." "And from what I can tell, that is not an easy task." "That is impressive." "So if you're free, I'd like to talk to you about it over dinner." "Well, sure." "The senator and I are free." "No, not him." "Just you." " How's it going?" " Good." "I'll get you a drink." "So I can end up the lead story on Defamer tomorrow?" "No." "It'll make you more comfortable." "Which will make me." " Yeah, well..." " There you are." "I need you." "And I need you." "You, for dancing." "And you, for meeting the man of your dreams." "You should have us trade." "Kevin, this is Scotty." " Kevin, nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." "This is so lame." " Can't we go do something?" " What?" " Ice cream!" " No ice cream!" "I'm not putting any more sugar in you, little boy." " What time do you go to bed?" " We stay up until 4:00!" "Does Uncle Justin look that stupid to you?" "Did you see Narnia?" "It's so cool." "There's this really cool..." " Yeah, the lion." " I'm telling the story!" "I think it's on TV tonight." "We can watch it." "We can watch..." "That's my phone." "That's my phone." "Where's my phone?" " I want a cell phone." " No cell phones for..." "Tyler?" " Justin?" " Tyler." " Who's Tyler?" " Who's that?" "That's Paige." "I'm baby-sitting." "Yeah, I figured you'd be stag on Valentine's Day." "Uh... yeah." "But what about you?" "Just waiting for my boyfriend to show up." "We're going to some Italian place in Los Feliz, and I just wanted to make sure someone wished you a happy Valentine's Day." "I guess I was thinking and..." " Never mind." "I shouldn't have called." " Tyler, wait!" " This was a bad idea." "I got to go." " Tyler, wait." "Stop." "All right." "I got an idea." "Who's hungry?" "Who's hungry?" " Ice cream!" " No ice cream." "Italian?" "Emily, thank you so much for coming with me." "Can't let a good reservation go to waste." "Uh-oh." " Oh, honey, I know that look." " What?" "That's the "everybody in the restaurant is happy, but me" look, isn't it?" " I'm sorry." "I'm pathetic." " OK, you go on." "I'll just..." " I'll be the therapist, how's that?" " Really?" "Well, I think this is an easy one to diagnose." "We're using this reservation I made in anticipation that my husband would be alive." "And he's not." "Mmm." "My children have lives of their own, which is great." "It's fabulous." "I don't know, Emily." "I don't have a life." " I have no life." " Honey, you so need to get out more." "I know it's hard, but you have to force yourself to." "Force myself to what?" "I'm gonna start over again at 60?" "I don't think so." "I know what you need." "Something that will take your mind off everything." "Something that will help you relax, and I just happen to have what you need here where I keep it with me at all times." "Put that..." "Are you out?" "Put it away." "Put that away." "What's it?" "It will be fun!" "It's no big deal." "It's just grass." " What is this?" "Peer pressure?" " Of course it's peer pressure." "Peer pressure makes the world go around." "You know that." " No." "No." "No." " I bet you haven't let down that perfect, still-brown hair for a long time, have you?" "No." "Absolutely..." "Justin just got out of rehab, for goodness..." "I never liked grass." "It makes me stupid." "I wouldn't even remember..." " I don't even remember the '60s." "No." " Darling, nobody remembers the '60s." "That was half the fun." "You do remember how to have fun, don't you?" "Aren't you the risk taker." "Look at you." "You're making a statement, dressed to take the "singles" out of the "party. "" "Look, I can't stop you from hating me, but could you pull back" " just a little on the mocking?" " Maybe." " That is quite the masculine watch." " I guess not." "That's quite the masculine haircut." "Leave the mocking to the professionals." "You OK?" " Scott, right?" " "Tee. " Close enough." " You good, Kev?" " Yeah." "Great." "My gaydar just red-lined." "How do you know Michelle again?" " I do boot camp with her." " No, you do boot camp with him." "To being friends of friends." "I should have known." "Honestly, what were the odds?" "How many gay-lawyer Kevins are in this town?" "I'll tell you this, you couldn't come more recommended." "Neither could you." "Kevin "the hot teddy-bear of an attorney"." " Tell me, did I live up to the hype?" " Beyond my wildest expectations." " What about me?" " Better than advertised." "You better watch out." "I'm a little drunk." " You might take advantage of me." " Is that a premature excuse?" "I miss you sometimes." "Me too." "Sometimes." "Wow." "This is amazing." "You rented out the entire restaurant." "Renting is a waste of money." "It's expense without equity." "I own the place." "You own the restaurant." "No, I own the hotel." "The restaurant kind of came with it." "I bought the hotel because my first meeting was right here." "You know, if you wanted a memento, they probably sold postcards in the gift shop." "I was trying to get the owner to invest in my first tech company, and he turned me down flat." "So when I took the company public, I came back here and I bought his hotel." "Well, he made a very big mistake underestimating you." "Well..." "But I'm having a hard time being impressed by your investments when you're so willing to pass up a great one." "I'm impressed with you." "Not the same thing as being impressed with your boss." "If you're as impressed as you say, trust my judgment." "Why do you think we're sitting here having dinner?" "I need more than your endorsement to write the check you're talking about." "Did you know in the last election, only 26 percent of young voters put their trust in the Republican party?" "Twenty-six percent." "You want to know why?" "Because while we were very concerned with our medals and religion and family values, the future of this country was looking for someone to bridge the gap between the college campus and the retirement home." "Senator McCallister is that someone." "You feeling better?" "I feel better." " On the one hand, I feel rejuvenated." " Yeah." "Yeah, I can see that." "Good." "Good." " And on the other hand?" " Let me look." "I'm gonna throw up." "No, no, no." "You just have to relax here." "Just relax." " All right." " Ohmmm." "Relax." "Relax." " Everyone does this." " Everybody." " Everyone does a lot of things." " Everyone does it a lot." " Everyone does a lot of things." " Everyone does a lot of things." " I got to remember that." " What are you doing?" "Everyone does a lot of things." "I'm gonna write it down." " I got to find my pencil." " You can write it down in your mind." " Emily." " What?" "I lost my face." "Where's my face?" "I once had a face." "And a life." "I lost my life." "I used to be pretty." "I used to be happy." "I lost it all." "You still look like you're 40 to me." "Is that 40?" " I can't believe you." " Is everything OK in there?" "Get this..." "Oh, no!" "Are you kidding me?" " No." "Now you..." "You do not..." " Would you two step out of the vehicle?" " Coming." "I'm Emily Craft." " You're Emily Craft." "You're Nora Walker." "We're two nice old ladies." "I'm not old!" "You said I looked like I was 40." " Out you go." "Legs together." " Officer." "Having a little fun tonight?" " Sir, I can really explain this." " I doubt that very much, ma'am." "You're under arrest for suspicion of possession and the use of a controlled substance." "You have the right to remain silent." "Uncle Justin, why are we going to different restaurants?" "There's, like, 19 Italian restaurants in Los Feliz, and I don't know where Tyler is." " Sir, do you have a reservation?" " Um..." "Uh, yes, I do." "Excuse me." " Hey." " Justin." "What are you doing here?" " Uh, can I talk to you for a second?" " No, you can't." "Tyler, who is this guy?" " He's... he's a friend." " They were boyfriendlgirlfriend." " Gross." " We weren't that serious, actually." "OK, you know what?" "How about you get on your way?" "Right now." "I'll get out of here after I say what I came to 19 different restaurants to say." "I didn't come here to win you back, Tyler." "I hope you'll come back to me, but I'm not dumb enough to think that anyone can just win you." "I wanted to let you know what you mean to me." "It's part of getting clean, the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, but one of the things that got me through it is the hope that someday" "I'll get to be with someone like you again." "So happy Valentine's." "I'm sorry I ruined it." "But you called me first." "I'm sorry for interrupting your meal." "Happy Valentine's Day." "I'll bring your car right around." "Uncle Justin, I'm sorry." "Thanks, Paige." "That's sweet." "Justin!" "Can I see you later?" "Uh..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, that'd be great." "I would kiss you, but it would be a really rotten thing to do." " I have to go break up first." " Call me." "I'll be on my cell." " OK." "OK, bye." " Bye." " Yeah!" " Yeah!" "We are celebrating." "Put on your dancing shoes, we're going out." " Dancing?" " It's a mixed metaphor." "I spoke to Pellington." "He wanted to talk about emissions and carbon caps." " I hope you didn't make promises." " I told him he can't tax emissions." "You got to use the free market and build a green economy." " What did he think of that answer?" " He's in." "I'm serious, put on your dancing shoes." "We better hold off on our rug cutting until his check clears." "I'm not worried." "You didn't sleep with him." "Well, this isn't Indecent Proposal, and believe me, I am no Demi Moore." "I always had a major thing for her." "Hey." "There's still a few more hours left in Valentine's Day." "We should go find all the happy couples and throw things at them." "Senator, I..." "I think you need to go." "It's late and, uh I'm tired." "Good night." "Why?" "If we both feel the same way about each other, why should I go?" "If you say it's because you work for me or you're on a man cleanse or I'm recently divorced, whatever you come up with, you are about to be out-argued." "While you were dining, I was coming up with counterpoints." "Senator..." "You are eyeing a run for the U.S. Presidency." "You just can't afford any distractions right now." "It's..." "In a debate, I get a rebuttal." "OK." "OK, what?" "What could you possibly say that?" "OK." "OK, well, you make a good point." "And furthermore..." "What?" "That we were both having sexes with exes?" "No, but I can't wait to." "Mom's calling." "I'm gonna hang up so it'll go to voicemail," " or she'll know I'm avoiding her call." " All right." "Bye." " Good morning, mister." " Morning." "Do you want some?" "I'm sorry." "I have to take this." " How was the rest of the party?" " You went home with that guy?" " Uh, is that fair?" " Did you sleep with him?" "That's all I want to know." "Uh, you don't actually want to know." "I was gonna talk to Michelle." "I was gonna..." "You know what?" "Forget it." " What?" "Chad!" "Don't..." " Don't call me, all right?" "Oh." "So last night was about making someone else jealous." " I don't know." " Well, it obviously worked." "You almost have to love the irony." "You're where I was a few months ago." "You ended things with me, Scotty." "Now you know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't love himself." "I feel sorry for you." "Good luck, Kevin." "It's just a travesty." "I mean, what has this city come to when the police are arresting two little old... two mature women, and throwing them in jail for the night?" "Maybe if you had shown some maturity and not resisted arrest..." "I never resisted..." "No one ever re..." "Wouldn't my tax dollars be better spent arresting drug dealers or bangers?" "Gang bangers." "Maybe you shouldn't be so judgmental now that you have a record." "Any chance of you not telling your siblings about this?" " Mm..." "Not a big chance, no." " Sarah, please." "In the name of all that's holy." "I am the one who bought you your first bra." "I'm not above playing the guilt card." "Sorry, Mom." " Who'd you tell?" " Come on, Mom!" "You spent a night in jail for smoking pot." "This family should have a Bat-Signal for things that good." "Don't worry about it." "If I were you, I would be trying to live great stories." "You've had too much responsibility for too long." "Yeah." "I know." "Being good for this family has been my sole purpose of existence for as long as I can remember." "I don't know." "Maybe it's the residual cannabis talking, but what is the meaning of life supposed to be the rest of my life?" "To enjoy it." "However you want." "Mom, you don't have to worry about being good." "You should just be worried about having fun." "You might want to draw the line at things that get you arrested." "Yeah." "Well, if it's all right with you," "I am gonna take a shower for about an hour." " Here." " Thank you for picking me up." "Of course, Mom." "I know you'd do the same for me." "Sorry." "Oh, that jail had a particular smell." " Like lilacs dipped in urine." " Nice." " Yeah!" " Oh, no." "This is the best day of my life." "Who knew you were the black sheep of the family?" " Can we talk?" " Sure." " I'm proud." " Shut up." " Give me a high-five, Mom." " No!" "God." " So, what's up?" " I just wanted to give you a heads-up." "Holly's going to the board to try to overturn your decision" " not to counter on the vineyard." " That woman is a nut job." "I'm backing her play." "You're what?" "I think the opportunity's right, the investment is right and I think it's what Dad wanted." "I'm voting with Holly." " What happens now?" " We go downstairs." "Then what?" "I'm going to my office, check my e-mail." "Do whatever you want." " About you and me." " I just covered that." "Office, e-mail..." "I mean, if you don't think that this is going to work, then I understand." "I mean, if it's too complicated for you, and your kids and your divorce and your..." "And not to mention your presidential bid." "We can honestly just pretend that last night never happened." "I mean, no." "Not that it wasn't memorable..." "I mean, it was." "It was..." "You know, it was great." "But..." "But if you don't think this will definitely work, you're probably right." "Well, there's just one problem." "I like you." "Oh!" "Great!" "You like me." "So, what does that mean?" "We get to hold hands at Cindy Burke's Roller Rink party?" "No, I was thinking maybe dinner." "Maybe sushi." "I don't rent out entire restaurants, unlike some people." "Oh, no." "He..." "Actually, he owns it." "My point being..." "People are gonna see us, Kitty." "And I want you to know that I won't be caring."

"Previously on Criminal Minds..." "Anyone recognize these faces?" "Victims of the footpath killer." "That's what Virginia newspapers are calling him." "We refer to him as the "unknown subject" or "unsub."" "I told Virginia P.D., they're looking for a white male in his 20's, who owns an american-made truck, works a menial job." "I told 'em when you find him, don't be surprised to hear him speak with a severe stutter." "Have a n-i-- n-nice day." "The gun." "Ta-- take out the gun." " Th-- throw it." " Any particular direction?" "Who-- who are y-- who are you?" "Who are you?" "!" "FBI." "T-- t-- t-- take out your w-- your w-- wallet." "Wh-- what-- what do you kn-- what do you know?" "About you?" "Or about the people who you've murdered?" "I know a lot about you." "I know how you do it." "I know you can't stop." "And I know something that no one's ever been able to tell you." "I know why you stutter." "Weren't you a little bit worried he might just shoot you?" "I was a lot worried." "But how did you find him?" "I was just stopping for gas." "I walked into that store, and I saw pieces of a profile that I'd given to Virginia P.D. almost a year ago." "Truck in disrepair, a disheveled young man, severe stutter." "James Reese once said, "there are certain clues at a crime scene which, by their very nature, do not lend themselves to being collected or examined." "How does one collect love, rage, hatred, fear?"" "These are things that we're trained to look for." "So anyone else would have just seen a guy who stutters, but you saw the footpath killer." "Right." "But sometimes these guys are still found by just dumb luck." "Berkowitz was caught because of a parking ticket." "Except the cop who caught him wasn't staring down a shotgun like you were." "This is true." "This is also a good time to stop." " Thank you, sir." " Thank you." "Okay, I'm curious." "Why'd he stutter?" "You're on your way to becoming part of the behavior analysis team now, Elle." "You tell me." "Check." "Checkmate 3 moves." "What... you know you'll beat him when you start learning." " Learning what?" " To think outside the box." " Question for you." " Shoot." "The footpath killer, why did he stutter?" "Come on, Elle, we've all asked him, and he won't say." "He wants us to figure it out." "Okay." "I'm up for a challenge." "Good, because these go to you." "Special agent Jennifer Jareau, JJ if you like." " Elle." " Greenway-- highest number of solved cases in Seattle 3 years running, specialty in sex offender cases." "Not bad." "Well, I'm the unit liaison." "My specialty is untangling bureaucratic knots." "You'll probably be talking to me a lot." "My door's always open, mostly because I'm never in my office, so just call me on my cell, okay?" "We'll talk." "Did you watch it?" "Yeah." "Think everybody should see it." "BAU team, can you meet me in the conference room, please?" "I need to show you something." "This is from the Phoenix office, Bradshaw College in Tempe, 6 fires in 7 months." "Who recorded it?" "A student with a digital camcorder." "He was watching a fire in the building across from their dorm." "The other person you'll see is his roommate, 20-year-old Matthew Rowland." "This is crazy." "Hey, Mac, get over here." "You gotta see this." "The building's on fire." "Bro, you getting this?" "Is that the kid?" "Yeah, that's him." "Relax, man." "There's always fires during rush week." "Yeah, but that's pretty big." "What building is that?" "Dude, over here." "Check this out." "What is it?" "I don't know, but it's coming underneath the door." "Is someone in the hallway?" "Hey, someone's trying to get in." "Hey, man, you should get away from there." "Oh, my god!" "It smells like gas." "Oh, god!" "God!" "Oh, my god!" "Oh, my god!" "Put me out!" "Oh, my god!" "Oh, god!" "Help!" "Einstein once said: "Imagination is more important than knowledge." "Knowledge is limited." "Imagination encircles the world."" "There are 2 common stressors for a serial arsonist." "Loss of job, loss of love." "When was the first fire set?" "March." "Uh, the next one was in may, and the third one wasn't till september, then 2 weeks later there were 3 in one night." "He's speeding up." "Fire's are closer together." "Hey, Reid, you got a statistic on arsonists?" "82% are white males between 17 and 27." "Female arsonists are far less likely, their motive typically being revenge." "Sounds like our boy's a student." "Don't be so sure." "You rely too much on precedent, you never allow for the unexpected." "If he went from setting one fire to 3 in 2 weeks' time... rapid escalation." "He's gone from the power to damage a building to something far more satisfying." "The power over life and death." "Who we talking to first?" "Dean of students, Ellen Turner." "No badges." "I don't want to satisfy the unsub's need for attention by letting him know he got the FBI here." "Try not to look official." "Try to look less official." "Obviously, I'd rather be meeting you under different circumstances." "This is fire inspector Zhang." "This morning the chemistry department reported several bottles of highly flammable chemicals missing." "I'm prepared to evacuate this campus." "Thank you." "That brings with it its own problems." "You might evacuate the arsonist as well." "Then the case goes unsolved, the campus is reopened, but the fires start up again." "Hotch, Gideon, hold on a second." "You said the chemicals were missing today." "It says here that one of the previous fires was set with diesel fuel that disappeared from the grounds keeping facility." "How long after it disappeared was the fire set?" "One day." "If he's holding to a pattern..." "Who's to say the next fire won't be today?" "Door was locked." "Matthew Rowland and his roommate watched as the doorknob turned against the lock." "But the unsub couldn't get in." "So he pours the accelerant into the room from the hallway." "Which means he couldn't see the fire." "But he could hear Matthew Rowland screaming." "Yeah, but not for long." "He would have left quickly." " Yeah, to avoid being spotted." " It doesn't make sense." "Pyromania as a mental disorder may just be a simple myth, but we do know from precedent that serial arsonists derive pleasure from pathological fire-setting." "Sex and power." "But a serial arsonist wouldn't just set a fire and walk away." "He needs to experience it." "So why would he set a fire he couldn't watch?" "He turned the water off just before the fire." "The last 3 were set with these." "2 devices, simultaneous ignition." "There was no device used on Matthew Rowland." "Unsub set that one manually?" "He wanted to be there to enjoy the kid's death." "Not necessarily." "Well, if the target was Matthew Rowland, then why set the other 2 fires?" "The motives for arson are relatively simple." "There's vandalism, crime concealment, political statement... profit and revenge." "We interviewed Matthew Rowland's roommate." "He said Matthew was very well-liked." "No reason for revenge." "What about vandalism?" "No." "The fires are too sophisticated, and if he's trying to make a political statement, he's not being too clear about it." "There's an underlying strategy in this case." "Matthew, firefighters, injured victims." "To the unsub, they're not people." "They're... they're objects." " More like," " Uh... chess pieces." "Exactly." "All right..." "I want to set a dormitory fire." "Where would I start?" "In the basement." "The upper levels would be fuel." "Then why did I start on the third floor?" "Oh, god!" "Because it wasn't the building I wanted to set on fire." "The timer sets the road flare, which then lights the chemical mixture inside the canister." "Simple." "Yet sophisticated in its simplicity." "I mean, there's a meticulous construction to it." "Chemical accelerant could mean chemistry student." "Could also mean chemistry professor." "Mmm, I say student." "You need self-confidence to lecture in front of a classroom full of 30 college kids." "Arsonists are socially incompetent." "This guy doesn't go on dates." "He doesn't go to parties." "He doesn't feel comfortable in front of groups." "And, of course, he's a total psychopath." "Course." " Think we'll get a lead from the hotline?" " No." "If you don't mind my asking, why then did you set up the number?" "Well, serial arsonists enjoy manipulating authorities." "They like to communicate, explain themselves." "I'm not waiting to hear from a tipster or witness." " You're waiting to hear from him." " Yeah." "All right, office hours." "I have my own homework to do." " Thank you, professor Wallace." " No problem." "We don't want a stampede on our hands because the exits out of the campus block so quickly." "Now, we have staging areas, and we must utilize every possible... agent Gideon?" "Agent Gideon." "Agent Gideon?" "Everybody out of the building!" "Go!" "What is it?" "Look out!" "Clear the whole building!" "Clear it!" "Now!" "Come on!" "Help me!" "Help me!" "Get off of me!" "There was a teacher!" "Let it go!" "He's already dead." "Let it go." "He might be here watching." "Yeah." "Take pictures-- as many as you can." "You got it." "The professor's name was Wallace?" "It's a terrible loss." "He was one of those teachers..." "Um... he knew how to make a difference." "Gideon, we've got police and security interviewing everyone in that building." "How long will it take to finish evacuating the campus?" "This is a college of 10,000 students and faculty." "Well, there's another problem with evacuating." "You mean, we might accelerate the unsub's timeline." "Let's round everybody up." "Dean Turner?" "Hi, I'm Jeremy." "I'm one of the research assistants at the science department." "We were talking, and, uh, we'd like to help." "The best thing you can do right now is just stay-- we know how he did it." "We've been at this all night, and we've got nothin'." "Look at these expressions." "We got fear, a touch of horror, even a little bit of panic." "Where's the guy gettin' off?" "When asked about his motives, Peter Dinsdale said," ""I am devoted to fire." "Fire is my master."" "Okay, so who was our boy's master?" "10,000 plus students... and one has a serious fascination with fire." "Fire starting is one third of the homicidal triad... an early predictor of adult disassociative criminal behavior." "If we looked in his childhood, we'd probably find all three." "Bedwetting... and cruelty to animals." "Absent or abusive father, trouble with the opposite sex, chronic low self-esteem-- M.O. would be dynamic." "Evolvings, fire setting escalates, they thrive on panic, fear." "It's just the standard profile of a serial arsonist." "Based on hundreds of interviews." "Based on precedent." "Everything the unsub should be, according to research." "We're off the mark." "Because of the 2 missing elements." "Sex and power-- the 2 motives that drive a serial arsonist." "And without 'em, we do not have a profile." "Whoa!" "Hey!" "Uh, sorry." "I didn't mean to scare you." "I'm just, um, I'm campus patrol." "I'm supposed to ask for your I.D." "Sure, sure." "You're one of those FBI guys." "Um, like a profiler, right?" "Like, one look at a crime scene, you can tell what kind of shampoo a killer uses?" "You sound skeptical." "Uh, maybe a little." "Your girlfriend thinks you're gonna break up with her." "You're kidding, right?" "Well, you keep adjusting your necklace." "That tells me you're not used to wearing one or somebody else probably bought it for you, bought it recently, and the chinese symbol on it means "forever yours."" "Take care of yourself, all right?" "Reid." "Since you're more their age, why don't you do the talking?" "Ahem." "Hi-- hi, guys." "Uh, my name's, uh, Dr. Spencer Reid." "I'm a, uh, agent with the-- the BAU, the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, which, um, it used to be called the BSU, the Behavioral Science Unit, but not anymore." "They changed it to the BAU." "Um, it's part of the NCAVC, the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime which is also part of this thing called the CIRG, the" "Critical Incident Response Group, and-- what he's trying to say is we'd love to know how you can help us." "May I, please?" "Thank you." "See this?" "Drill a hole in the side, fill it with gasoline or whatever's good and flammable." "Turn the light on." "Boom." "That is what went down, didn't it?" "The stuff's all over the net." "Wanna know how to make a molotov cocktail that sets itself on fire?" "Potassium, sulfur... and normal sugar." "Sugar-- sugar, which is-- not exactly plutonium." "You could get this stuff anywhere." "Sugar from the supermarket." "But you don't need to be a chem major to know that." "Do you think it's a chem student?" "You wanna know what I think?" "I think... it would be a good time to take the semester off." "Hold on." "You need a key to get it movin' after 10:00 P.M." "So what are you still doin' here?" "I can't leave." "We got projects." "You know hot to solve the 3 body problem?" "Computing the mutual gravitational interaction between the earth, sun and moon?" "Do you have any idea how many people called me today with absolute certainty that our arsonist is a firefighter?" "Like, yeah, I saw Backdraft." "Uh, let me call you right back." "This came into the hotline about 5 minutes ago." "You've reached the FBI tip hotline for the Bradshaw College fires." ""Karen." "I do this for Karen."" ""Karen." "I do this for Karen." Play it again." "The call came from the office right next to Wallace's 5 minutes before the fire was started." "Play it again." ""Karen." "I do this for Karen." Again, louder." ""Karen." "I do this for Karen."" "What is it?" "I'm not sure." "Somethin' about it." "Is this tape clean?" "I can put it through some audio filters." "Look, we need as close to the real voice as you can get, and anything that might be in the background." "Can you do it?" "Ok, you know how on Star Trek when Captain Kirk asks McCoy to do something totally impossible, and McCoy says, "damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker?"" "Hey, what are you tellin' me, not to expect a miracle?" "No, I'm saying I'm not a doctor." "That's my girl." "These are all the women on campus with the first name Karen." "A lot of Karens." "Hmm." "What if the unsub is one of the students leaving?" "No, he's not done yet." "He's not goin' anywhere." "Keep thinkin'." "You mean, out-- outside the box?" "That's what Morgan's always telling me." "He says that's why I can never beat you at chess." "Well, he's probably right." "But, I mean, in this situation, what exactly is the box?" "The standard profile of a serial arsonist." "If everything you know goes in the box, what's left?" "What you don't know." "The unknown." "Sometimes you have to get creative." "Even if you think it's utterly unlikely, you have to think of things nobody else thought of." " Like a stutter." " Yeah, exactly." "Thank you, Karen." "Karen number 7." "You know, there's gotta be a faster way to do this." "How 'bout we just change the first question to" ""have you recently dated a homicidal pyromaniac?"" "Speaking of questions, you figured out yet why the footpath killer stuttered?" "Nope." "You?" "I know that embarrassment makes a stutter worse, and that when you're flustered, it's more difficult to control the articulatory musculature of the face." "You sound like Reid." "You did not just say that." "Obviously, somebody's been doin' their homework." "I still have no idea what causes a stutter." "Karen." "Number 8." "Hey." "I didn't scare you again, did I?" "Um, sorry." "This is one of the buildings on my patrol." "Just lookin' at the board." "The 3 body problem." "You know what it means?" "Uh, no." "No idea." "It's physics." "It's one of the great mathematical mysteries." "You broke up with her." "No more necklace." "Yeah, I kinda wanna date someone else." " What's her name?" " Brian." "Oh." "Well, that's, uh... that's a pretty good reason." "Did she take it all right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, other than telling me that homosexuality's a sin, and that I'm going to incur the wrath of God." "The wrath of god." "Okay, gorgeous, I've put this thing through every audio filter I've got.There's only one thing I can tell you for sure." "This guy isn't saying "Karen." It's more like "Ka-rown."" "Garcia, what the hell is Ka-rown?" "If I figure it out, does it earn me a night of passionate lovemaking?" "Most definitely, sweetness... with Reid." "Bye." "Hey, Reid." "Garcia says it's not "Karen."" " It's actually something' more like" " Charown." " Charown?" " Charown." " "I do it because of Charown."" " That's hebrew." " It's god's word in anger." " Yeah." "The motive is now religious?" "Well, you know, in a lot of religions, god is related to fire." "Well, brahman is fire in hinduism, and the jews see God as a pillar of fire, and christians worship god as a consuming fire." "Okay, so we're lookin' for a theology major." "Maybe he's punishing the other students for their sins." "I don't want this." "What-- what's the most sinful place on campus?" "Come on, Elle." "When I was in college, that was everywhere." "A fraternity?" "A campus bar?" "No, 'cause that's not consistent with the previous targets." "What about the idea of baptism by fire?" "Aren't we all supposed to be tested through fire in revelations?" "Look, it's good, it's good, but let's please do not jump to conclusions." "Religion might be a part of it, but it's not necessarily the prime compulsion." "Gideon, rush to conclusions, jump to conclusions." "Who cares?" "We are running out of time." "Compulsion." "This is crazy." "Hey, Mac, get over here." "You gotta see this." "The building's on fire." "Bro, you getting this?" "Get out of the way!" "We should call campus security" "Relax, man." "There's always fires during rush week." "Yeah, but that's pretty big." "What building is that?" "Dude, over here." "Check this out." "What is it?" "I don't know, but it's coming underneath the door." "Is someone in the hallway?" "Hey, someone's trying to get in." "Hey, man, you should get away from there." "Oh, my god." "It smells like gas." "Help!" "Oh, my god!" "Oh, my god!" "Hold on, man!" "Outside the box." "Keep thinkin'." "It's like chess." "Don't look at just the next move." "Try to look 3 moves ahead." "This is crazy." "Hey, Mac, get over here." "You gotta see this the building's on fire." "Bro, you getting this?" "Get out of the way!" " Should call campus security." " Relax, man." "There's always fires during rush week." "Yeah, but that's pretty big." "What building is that?" "Dude, over here." "Check this out." "What is it?" "Dude, over here." "Check this out." "What is it?" "There's always fires during rush week." "Yeah, but that's pretty big." "Dude, over here." "Check this out." "3 times." ""Professor Wallace." "Tuesday, 3:00."" "I know why the profiles never fit." "You were right to tell Morgan not to rely on precedent." "The fires thus far have been completely task oriented." "So once they're set, the unsub is done?" "Exactly." "The unsub is not a classical serial arsonist." "He's someone who uses fire because of a completely different disorder." " Which is?" " An extreme manifestation of OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder." "He does everything in 3's, and if I'm right, he'll have to kill again." "There's a form of OCD called scrupulosity." "Religious obsession and compulsion." "An obsessive fear of committing sin, which creates so much anxiety that he's compelled to do something to ease that anxiety." "Like setting fires." "Where's the behavioral evidence?" "Right here." "All right." "Remember the night of the 3 fires?" "We saw the doorknob turning against the lock." "But he's not trying to get in." "He's compelled to turn the doorknob 3 times." "Well, what about the fires?" "The first ones were single fires." "If the unsub was OCD, shouldn't they have all been in 3's?" "They were in 3's." "A trinity of 3's." "The first fire occurred on march third." "3:00 P.M., third day, third month." "It's that convergence of 3's that causes the overwhelming anxiety." "Obsessive compulsives ease the anxiety by performing the compulsion." "What about the other fires?" "Professor Wallace?" "Office number 3." "I checked for more patterns of 3's." "His class was on tuesdays." "Third day of the week." "Matthew Rowland was in that class." "It was his third class of the day." "If we looked into each of the fires we'd find a lot of patterns having to do with 3's because our minds are incredibly adept at seeking out patterns." "But to the unsub, once that pattern hits, bam-- he sets a fire." "But if the target was always people, why did no one die in the first few fires?" "They were failures." "Up until Matthew Rowland." "What is it?" "I think I know who it might be." "And it's not a he." "It's a she." "Clara Hayes." "A chemistry student." "I'll get you her records now." "First get campus security out and find her." "She could set her next fire within hours." "Okay, got it." "Her apartment's off campus." "But how is he sure it's this girl?" "When I was talking to her and her classmates," "I noticed something-- a ring on her finger." "And she kept turning it." "At intervals?" "Of 3." "And she counted off the ingredients of a light bulb bomb." "Potassium, sulfur, and normal sugar." "Sugar." "And the word "sugar."" "Yeah." "And she kept repeating it." "Once she started, she couldn't stop." "Yeah, it's palilalia." "It's the involuntary repetition of words." "Howard Hughes had it when his OCD worsened." "Clara and her classmates were working on a project about gravitational pull." "The 3 body problem." "No one in here." "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." "OCD?" "I'm thinking more like OMG." " OMG?" " Oh, my god." ""A fire is kindled in my anger, and shall burn into the lowest hell."" "Deuteronomy." ""And again the fire of heaven came down and killed them all."" ""I do this for Charon." That's Charon." "That's the greek mythological ferryman of the dead." "It's also the name of Pluto's only moon." "Paradise lost." ""Moloch, horrid king, besmeared with blood of human sacrifice and parents' tears."" "Moloch was the demon sun God of the Canaanites." "In order to keep from incurring his wrath, the people would sacrifice their children to him by burning them alive." "16-year-old survives inferno." "The mother Ellen Hayes called it a miracle." ""My daughter was tested by God." "He tested my child and she came through blessed." Look at the house number." "333." "Hey, Morgan, you know what magical thinking is?" "Obsessive thoughts." "It's like a superstition." "It controls them." "Kinda like step on a crack, break your mother's back." "Except she actually believes it." "God tested her with fire, and now when three 3's" "three 3's show up around another person..." "God tells her to test them." "Security's checking the science building." "Well, where else would she be?" "We need to find the next pattern of 3's." "Hey, Hotch... we're lookin', man." "I don't think she would have left behind a day planner that says "set next fire here" written in it." "I under-- wait till you see this place." "Uh, Morgan?" "I'll call you back." "There must be 30 homemade bombs in here." "Morgan, seal the building get everybody out of there and walk away." "We need to send our people into every building and have them start pulling fire alarms." "Please, go." "Mead, a map of the campus." "We need to find anything and everything having to do with the number 3." "Where's the blueprint?" "Hell no, I'm not leaving." "I have too much to do." "All right." "I bought one of those mini halon fire extinguishers." "They started selling them at the bookstore." "It's pretty morbid, right?" "Hey, I'm about to get into an elevator, so I'll probably lose you." "All right, bye-bye." "You got the science building?" "All the corridors and stairwells are clear." "The elevator closet's checked." "No elevators are in service." "It's not gonna start." "Don't you have the key?" "I put it back on the hook in the office." "Aren't you supposed to be able to hear the emergency call button?" "Maybe it's broken." "Or turned off." "I say we pry open the doors." "You can't pry 'em all the way open." "It's a safety precaution." "Maybe we can try yelling for help." "That's the fire alarm." "Jason, wait." "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "Clara Hayes is very likely a good person." "Someone who never wanted to do anyone any harm, like any other rational person." "But there's nothing rational about obsessive compulsive disorder." "Research suggests OCD involves problems in communication between the frontal of the brain and the orbital cortex." "Plus deeper structures." "The basal ganglia." "You can't reason with her because you can't reason with a physiological problem." "She's not setting these fires because she wants to, but because she has to." "What are you trying to say?" "Don't try to convince her to stop, because you won't be able to." "That's it?" "It won't go any further?" "I told you, it's a built-in safety precaution." "Help!" "Somebody help us!" "Hello?" "Somebody help us!" "Please, somebody, we're trapped down here." "Somebody help us!" " Clara!" " Clara, thank god." "It's all right." "Clara, go back to the office and get the elevator key." "It's okay." "I'm here to save you." "Go-- go get the key, Clara." "The elevator key." " Clara!" "Clara, wait!" " Clara!" "Get the key!" " Is this building on fire?" " Clara?" "Not yet." "It's clear up here." "Anything?" "Nothing." "No girl, no smoke, no fire." "Where did she go?" "Maybe she's getting the key." "I don't know." "What is she doing?" "Someone coming to help?" "I'm here to help." "I'm here to save you." "God chose you." "Chose you... chose you..." "Clara?" "Father, son..." "Oh, my god!" " Holy ghost." " Clara, listen!" "It's gasoline!" "Stop it, Clara!" "Listen!" "Security's sure that they've cleared the science building." "The guards made sure all floors are empty and no elevators are in service." "Hold on." "You need a key to get it moving after 10:00 P.M." "Clara?" "Put it down, Clara!" " I'm still looking." " Focus on the girl." "She's failing out." "This was gonna be her last semester." "That's the stressor." "What else?" "She was a researcher in the science building." "We know that." "They've already cleared the science building." "The third floor of the science building is under construction." "I'm on my way." "Clara." "I have to do this." "You know it's not rational, Clara." "You were trying to tell me." "God chose me to be tested, and now he's chosen them." "If I don't do this, something terrible will happen." "What's gonna happen, Clara?" "A flood?" "An earthquake?" "You know this isn't rational." "I know." "I know." "I know." "Then resist." "I can't." " Clara?" "Clara, listen to me." " Clara, don't." "They must be tested." "God's wrath..." "Clara, you told me it was a chemistry student." "You left the message about Charon." "You want to stop." "Father, son..." "Clara..." " Holy ghost." " Clara, stop!" "God chose them." "I thought you said not to reason with her." "Get us out of here." "You know, I figured it out." "The stutter." "You know why the footpath killer stuttered?" "When you and Hotch were talking earlier, that's when I got it." "He said he was just trying to stall Clara." "Right." "Well, that's it, isn't it?" "The footpath killer." "You were just trying to stall him." "You said, "I know why you stutter" because you were buying time." "You were stalling." "But you don't really know why he stuttered." "I don't?" "I looked it up." "No one does." "There are some theories about a neurological basis." "But they're just theories." "What really happened in the convenience store?" "I'll tell you what I do know about a stutter." "I know how to provoke one." "The key." "13." "We only found 6." "Are you impressed?" "Yeah." "I didn't know you could count." "Our profile said you'd be too stupid." "We also said you'd be a chronic bed-wetter." "You-- y-- yo" "What?" "Th-- th-- the cam" "I don't know what you're trying to say." "You take the cam-- the cam-- the c-- the cam" "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're trying to say." "You take-- you take the cam-- the cam-- the cam" "Say it." " The ca" " Say it." "The ca" "Just spit it out." "Just..." "The cam" "Come on!" "Faulkner once said, "don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors." "Try to be better than yourself."" "Check in 3." "Not bad." "Checkmate." "Don't worry, you're gettin' there."

"Guys, seriously, this is the definition of bad karma." "[ grunts ] I think it's pretty clear" "That we're doing the right thing here, barry." "Oh, we got a chance, man." "We can walk away right now and avoid a giant curse." "I'm with barry on this." "I think we might have crossed a line somewhere." "About to be 6 feet under that line, that's for sure." "Really?" "You sure about that?" "We crossed a line?" "You know this woman down here, this humanitarian," "Raised this groom." "And she is counting on us to fulfill her dying wish." "We all read grandma's will." "That ring down there, she promised this to this groom" "To give to his bride on their wedding day..." "Which is today." "...Which is today." "And we're about 15 minutes late." "This thing has crossed three continents," "Six generations..." "And it would be seven if some idiot" "Hadn't accidentally buried it in the grave." "Besides, we have consent" "From the groom's family estate lawyer." "Yeah." "Also 57 bucks in shovels and..." "Gloves." "[ grunts ] I think we're covered here." "I think we'cursed here." "No such thing as curses, barry." "Mark my word, guys ..." "from this day forward," "Our lives are never gonna be the same again." "[ owl hoots ] [ up-tempo music plays ]" "Minister:" "You may now place the ring on lindsay's finger." "You do have the ring?" "[ crowd murmuring ]" "Why isn't the ring here?" "I don't know." "I don't ..." "Neck brace, neck brace!" "Barry, don't point!" "It's rude!" "No, it's part of a trifecta." "You see a neck brace, an eye patch, and a dwarf" "In the same day, it launders your karma." ""trifecta" ... where do you come up with this stuff?" "I know these ..." "hey." "[ cheering ]" "Man:" "Whoo!" "That is why we crossed the line." "[ cheers and applause ]" "You're really good about the guys getting here late?" "Well, my horoscope said, "prepare for lateness."" "Well, that sanjay moon has been right on target this month." "I know!" "I know." "We are so in tune." "It's like he almost knows my schedule." "Spooky!" "Sanjay didn't say she'd be here." "Is that..." "Emily?" "Yes." "America's favorite wedding planner, emily corgy." "Oh, my god." "They based "can't plan love" on her." "I love that movie." "Well, stop loving it, okay?" "Because that crapfest has inspired every 14-year-old ditz" "To become a wedding planner." "Excuse me." "[ gasps ] roxie!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "What a surprise." "Hi." "Hi!" "Oh!" "Oh, I didn't know this was your event." "What are you doing here ..." "stealing ideas for a sequel?" "Oh." "Well, everybody wants one, but no." "I have the boboroff engagement party here tomorrow," "And a planner always triple-checks her details." "I love those little axioms your character couldn't live without." "What are those called?" "Weddiquette." "Well, stick this in your weddiquette ..." "A planner doesn't poach." "You don't have to worry about me poaching." "But I ..." "I would worry about those cops." "Let's go." "Let's go ... you." "Now do you believe we're cursed?" "Officers, please, please," "We can't have a wedding without a wedding band." "Grave-robbing?" "Really?" "Uh, wedding archaeologists?" "I think that's a better title for what it is we did." "The cops questioned me for two hours." "I had to convince them that your little stunt" "Wasn't part of the platinum memories wedding package." "Told you we crossed a line." "Are you sure?" "I don't think I heard you 'cause I was so busy digging." "I was holding the lantern." "The worst part of this is you guys did this" "In front of emily corgy, my biggest rival!" "She is gonna spin this thing" "Faster than semen in a fertility clinic." "Uh, roxie, now, don't forget" "What sanjay moon said in your horoscope this week" "About forgiveness." "Oh!" "Eddie turned me on to sanjay moon." "Wisdom from the east." "Ohh!" "Forgiveness is so good for the soul." "Spoke to my heart." "All true, true, true, true!" "But he doesn't have to put up with you guys!" "Rachel, red cards." "Barry:" "Um, I'm sorry." "The yellow cards meant we're kind of, like, out," "And the red mean..." "It means you're ejected." "I am no longer booking you." "Hold on a second." "We go the extra mile for your client," "And ... and this is ..." "this is how you repay us?" "Yeah." "You know what?" "I'm so sick of this soccer metaphor." "Okay?" "Okay, lead-singer syndrome." "You can't eject us because we, as a band," "Are refusing to take the field." "What do you think of that?" "You know what?" "Sit down." "No." "Eddie:" "What are you doing?" "She doesn't respect us, eddie." "You know what you can do?" "You can eject yourself." "You can go eject yourself!" "Fine!" "Good." "Fine!" "Super!" "Hey, what just happened?" "I think we just broke up." "I told you." "We're cursed." "Tommy!" "What?" "Tommy, can you please apologize and just go back in there?" "You can get ..." "what am I gonna apologize for?" "I didn't do anything." "How are we gonna see each other on the weekends?" "You know what I mean." "That came out weird, but..." "No, no, no." "I do." "I do." "No, I know." "I get it." "I have some stuff" "Going on with adam I really need to talk to you about," "And I don't have anyone else." "All right, I get it." "[ elevator bell dings ] [ def leppard's "armageddon it" plays ] [ footsteps thudding ]" "Really?" "[ coughs ] [ british accent ] symbolic, isn't it?" "Us on the way up, you on the way down." "You guys ... you wear these, huh, even to meetings?" "We're massive rockers, mate." "This is what it takes to make it at rutherford events." "You see this?" "This is the discipline." "Covering the same band for 15 years ... that's discipline?" "You guys change your crotch cucumbers more than your set list." "Have you guys ever considered doing something original?" "Like getting sacked for digging up a grave?" "That just happened." "How did you find out about that?" "Looks like the shepherd's pie has thickened." "Tommy:" "The shepherd's pie th..." "I don't even think you know what you're talking about." "It's very similar to chicken pot pie." "Have you been to ..." "to England before?" "Ever?" "Ever?" "I'll tell you where I habeen ..." "On the telly with roxie last night," "And she was begging me to fill in for your upcoming gigs." "Last night?" "Roxie didn't give us a chance to defend ourselves." "Yeah." "You know, next, we'll be filling in..." "Your wives." "Okay, that's ..." "stop talking." "Wives?" "What?" "And rachel and barry's sock." "Nobody talks about gold toe." "But I just did." "I got camel toe right there." "[ tasers crackling ] [ all shouting, groaning ] [ screams ]" "In the battle of the bands, the last band not convulsing..." "Wins." "[ elevator bell dings ] [ normal voice ] uh, rachel," "I don't want to be here when they come to," "So can you just tell roxie that we need to reschedule?" "[ all groaning ] [ british accent ] come on, come on, come on." "Back into the lift." "Back into the lift." "[ siren wails ]" "Tommy: "treat yourself to an extravagant gift."" "* sashay, sanjay * mm-hmm." "Hey, man." "I'm hoping with all that I have inside of me" "That you are dating some chick who is kinky" "And into inter-paranormal relations." "What does that mean?" "It's when you bang it out with ghosts." "Why would I bang it out with a ghost?" "Pull down the ghost pants and bang it out." "Why are you digging up graves?" "I'm not digging ..." "well, I mean ..." "No." "I don't even want to hear it." "We got a good thing going on here, man." "You're starting to get reckless." "You're starting to sound like danny glover." "This isn't my danny glover voice." "[ as danny glover ] this is my danny glover voice, riggs." "I'm getting too old for this, riggs." "It's throatier." "It's throatier." "You're right." "Thank you." "[ normal voice ] for real, I got you this job, man." "And now you're gonna blow it for me." "You're gonna get me fired." "I know why you edit the personals." "It's so you can stay on top of the single ladies in the city." "And the reason why you got the horoscope job" "Is because you're the best b.S.'er I know." "And I am a leo, and I find you incredibly attractive in that shirt." "Hey, it's purple." "Can you tell me my horoscope?" "I could." "Hi." "Hi." "Emily corgy." "Oh, emily." "Corgy associates." "Hi." "Hey." "How are you?" "It's good to meet you." "I've heard so much about you." "And I heard about the grave-robbing." "And I want to ask you," "Is that the furthest you'd go for a client?" "I don't know that you could go further than grave-robbing." "Exhuming a body for a ring?" "I mean, what woman wouldn't love that, right?" "Most of them." "No!" "No, it's inspiring." "Um, oh!" "Cupcake?" "Hey." "All right." "I will totally eat one of your delicious cupcakes." "That's great." "They look wonderful." "You are a hard man to find." "I stopped by your tour booth." "Tour's shut down for the season." "There's not any people that really want to do tours right now." "Well, I know that you're with rutherford," "And weddiquette says a wedding planner" "Always respects loyalty, but..." "Does roxie respect what you do?" "[ chuckles ] well, sometimes she does." "And you guys are special." "But you're not being treated like you are." "Mmm." "Sounds like she's about to pop the question, buddy." "It does, doesn't it?" "Like the knock?" "It's good stuff, right?" "Yeah." "Pretty good, yeah." ""sportscenter"?" "Yeah." "Guys here?" "Yeah, they're in the kids's playroom." "[ women laughing ] not them." "That's something else." "All the ladies giggling?" "Not them." "Yeah." "Ingrid's having a girls night," "And they're playing "sex and the city" monopoly," "And I got to help out ..." "make appletinis," "Stuff like that." "Hmm." "I'm not playing or anything." "Ingrid:" "Honey, you're up!" "Woman:" "Yeah." "Go ahead and roll for me, babe." "I'll be right there." "Okay, honey." "Yeah." "You're such a miranda." "That's what ingrid keeps saying." "Okay, so get this ..." "You'll never believe who came to visit me." "Emily corgy." "Great." "That's great." "The inspiration for "can't plan love."" "Right." "Rutherford's biggest rival." "So, she heard about what happened at the cemetery," "And she wants us to come work with her." "Whoa, whoa." "That's really suspicious." "I mean, why would she approach us" "After the grave-robbing incident?" "Because logically, she couldn't approach us before it." "It doesn't matter, man." "I don't trust it." "It's all p.C. ..." "Post-curse." "Not cursed, barry." "We are not cursed." "We got tasered today." "Let's not forget that rutherford gave us our big break," "So I say we go back, apologize to her," "Mend the fence..." "[ door opens ]" "Honey, you just landed on the manolo blahnik store." "Buy it." "Ingrid, you know who emily corgy is, right?" "Dude." "Ingrid:" "Oh, uh, yeah!" "That name means something to every woman." "You know, awkward in her own skin," "Kind of girl women relate to, men want to do," "And, of course, we all wish we had a sebastian." "Who?" "Sebastian's the g.F.F. From the movie." "Yeah, her gay friend forever." "You know, the shopping buddy with the snappy one-liners," "The kind of guy that calls you six times a day" "Just to see how you're doing," "Takes you to the ballet, musicals." "Ingrid, treal emily corgy wants us to come work for her." "[ gasps ] and your husband thinks it's a stupid idea." "Wh... no!" "It's a no-brainer." "Right?" "It's a no-brainer." "Can I go tell my friends?" "No, you can't!" "You should go tell everyone." "I have." "I don't know what's the matter with you." "Unbelievable!" "Share it." "You just used my wife against me." "You wifed me." "I didn't wife you." "That was awful." "You just wifed him." "Did I really?" "I want to make sure we are doing this" "For the right reason as a band, all right?" "Right." "Right." "Not because you want to get revenge on rutherford." "There's an event Saturday." "We feel it out." "We test-drive the situation." "That's all." "Okay." "But we don't drive it off the lot until we all agree." "Deal." "So, what's the event?" "It's an "end of the world" party." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "The world's ending?" "Yeah." "Saturday." "It's been all over the news." "This french philosopher like 200 years ago" "Predicted the end of the world." "There's gonna be all these parties." "So, this philosopher ..." "Any of his other predictions come true?" "Yeah, only like all of them ..." "Two world wars, stock-market crash, acid-wash jeans." "Jessica, hey." "How's the kids?" "Hmph!" "No?" "Hey." "Hi." "Hey." "What's..." "How are..." "Things?" "Since yesterday?" "Mm-hmm." "You know, yeah, yeah, just, your busy stuff." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Errands and..." "Cool." "I came here to ..." "to get the paychecks." "I was just doing paychecks." "[ laughs ] it's so weird." "It's so weird." "It's like we're connected still." "Yeah." "But we're not." "This is so..." "Awk-weird." "It's so stupid." "Roxie's so stubborn." "You know, tommy." "I'm like, "tommy..."" "I know." "It's like, "just apologize, man."" "Well, roxie actually should probably apologize." "I mean, armageddon it here." "Like, you obviously planned it." "And they electrocuted us with the taser things." "And, I don't know, like..." "I mean, I have a weak h..." "like..." "You didn't really leave us much choice, dude." "Because you left the credit-card receipt behind for the shovel." "Like, there's the credit-card number, so we're gonna trace it." "That's the way it works." "Yeah, yeah, totally." "Well, emily corgy thought it was pretty cool." "You know, she thought it was awesome." "We're playing an event for her, like, Saturday." "Really happy." "You're seeing another wedding planner?" "I don't want to put a label on it, but..." "That's cool." "Whatever." "[ elevator bell dings ]" "Ah." "Hey, hey." "Roxie." "Pretty cool bike you got there." "Ow!" "God!" "Ow!" "Hey." "So, they sent eddie." "That's good." "Now we know who the weak link is." "Yeah." "So, you got the motorcycle." "Yeah, thanks to sanjay moon." "My horoscope today said" "That I should treat myself to an extravagant gift." "Sanjay is so wise." "Why didn't you park it in the garage?" "Why?" "Larry parks his bike here." "Well, a 10-speed doesn't leak oil." "What is it with cyclists?" "I mean, they ride six blocks to the office," "And they act like they've done the tour de France." "So, did you get anything out of eddie?" "They signed with emily corgy." "Ah." "I'd be disappointed if they didn't." "Tommy saw us with another band." "He's just going with another wedding planner" "To make us jealous." "What if it gets serious?" "Oh, emily's just a rebound planner." "Pbht!" "It'll never work." "They'll be back." "As long as we don't show our hand." "Can you do that?" "Yes. 'cause they're in my pock..." "They're behind my back." "Emily:" "Who knows if the world is going to end or not." "Hopefully it won't, right?" "Olive:" "Well..." "But olive is always looking for a good excuse for a party." "I knew I recognized you." "You're olive atwood." "Yes." "Oh, right." "Your husband's the coffee baron." "Uh ..." "ex!" "Ex-husband." "Sorry." "It's totally okay." "No, but now that it's final," "I just want to blow it all up and start over again." "Tommy:" "I see the symbolism." "Well, you know, nothing says "party your booty off"" "Like "end of the world," right?" "And it's gonna be amazing, over the top." "I mean, magicians, tarot-card readers." "There's a thunderdome!" "[ laughs ] that's right." "Exactly the kind of party I never could have had with my ex." "He took everything way too seriously." "Well, maybe he should." "I'm just saying." "Don't try to scare her." "There's always somebody predicting the end of the world." "Yeah, but not on the same week we exhumed a body." "Yeah." "Okay." "Whatever." "Oh!" "What?" "Um..." "Nothing." "[ indistinct conversation ]" "Tell me again what the trifecta is." "Oh, yeah, right." "Need a neck brace, a midget ..." "Eye patch." "Yes." "Dude, don't tell anybody I asked." "It's okay." "I just don't want to die here." "We won't." "[ brakes squeal ]" "Thanks for sharing your cab with me." "You're welcome." "I don't really like to ride alone." "Interesting issues..." "Issues you have." "Never say that to a girl." "You have to say "quirks."" "Okay." "You know, it's cuter." "Was that quirk in your movie?" "Yes." "That made it in." "Yeah." "But they took a ton of liberties." "There's lots of stuff I don't do." "Like what?" "Well, like, I don't dance around my apartment." "I don't sing into my hairbrush." "You ever sing into your toothbrush?" "Yeah." "Is there really a sebastian?" "Oh, everybody asks that." "I love it when he says," ""and that's the frosting on my cake, girlfriend!"" "No, no sebastian." "Really?" "So no g.F.F., then." "No, uh..." "No one to shop with." "So sad." "You know, we'd probably save a lot of money" "If we finished this conversation upstairs." "I have this thing where I ..." "I only sleep on my own sheets." "No, I wasn't actually saying that ..." "oh, no!" "I wanted to have a conversation with you ..." "A new conversation about sheets." "About sheets." "Perfect." "Yeah." "Okay." "I better ..." "I better be going." "Perfect." "Okay." "All right." "Oh." "Ow." "That was cute." "[ thud ] ow!" "Ow!" "[ laughs ] oh, my god." "I'm not ..." "I'm not normally this clumsy." "In the movie, you are..." "When you liked a guy." "Hmm." "* l-I-f-e g-o-e-s o-n * * and you're going your own way * [ knock on door ]" "Hi." "I found a linen shop." "2,200 thread count." "It's technically illegal in this country." "It's like the cuban cigar of bedding." "Yeah!" "[ laughing ] [ mates of states' "total serendipity" plays ]" "[ giggling ] mmm-mm-mm." "What?" "[ giggles ]" "What'd you say the thread count was on these?" "2,200." "2,200." "Really?" "Mm." "Mm, they're so good." "Yeah." "Yeah, I could get used to these sheets." "[ male announcer ] the bankamericard cash rewards credit card." "U have an awesome outside jumper." "Hey." "Hey." "Good morning." "Mm." "I was, uh, trying to write you a pillow note." "I didn't know people still did pillow notes." "Well, it's nice to wake up next to a note." "Beats texting." "Is this your own stationery?" "Yes." "Do you use one of those wax things to stamp?" "[ laughs ] that's so cute." "It's not." "You never told me how your movie ended." "The groom proposes to the wedding planner at the altar." "Wait." "Of his own wedding?" "Yep." "And the bride is cool with it." "[ chuckles ] sure." "The happiest day of her life," "And she just wants the man to be happy?" "She gets to keep the gifts," "And then she meets her soul mate at the valet," "So, you know..." "Is that one of those liberties?" "Well..." "I mean..." "The real groom ... peter ..." "we did fall in love." "Got engaged." "Not at the altar, though." "No." "I mean, come on ..." "weddiquette." "I would never ruin a wedding." "So, what happened?" "It didn't work out?" "No." "I'm the wedding planner who can't get to the altar." "[ knock on door ] that's probably my cab, so..." "Oh." "Okay." "All right." "Okay, yeah." "I'll call ..." "I will call you." "Okay." "Okay." "Bye." "Hey." "Hey." "Um..." "Are you here to see tommy?" "Uh, no, I was just ..." "I was at ... this is 604." "I'm ..." "I was going to 603." "Oh, okay." "Okay." "Sorry." "[ rapid swishing ] [ swishing continues ]" "She's not a rebound planner." "Just hold it together, okay?" "Hold it together." "Here." "Try this." "What is that?" "What are you doing?" "It's a power yank." "Sanjay moon says I need to torture my body" "With painful workouts, which is odd, but if it's in the stars..." "Roxie, I know that I'm not supposed to show our hand," "But I really needed boyfriend advice," "So I went over to tommy's." "Okay, sit down." "What'd you tell him?" "Nothing." "But I saw emily corgy" "Leaving his apartment when I got there." "She smell like sex?" "I don't know." "I didn't sniff her." "She did." "I'm sure." "Nobody leaves his apartment without having sex." "I have." "Well, that's because you talk about your boyfriend problems." "I mean, talk about a poon blocker." "[ whimpers ]" "Now, emily having sex with tommy..." "That puts us in the driver's seat." "You always say that sex gives us the upper hand." "Unless it's tommy, because after second dates," "He gets all ... "whoo!" ..." "stir crazy." "I mean, can you imagine what he is like" "With somebody that he works with?" "No." "I mean, somebody he has to see every single day?" "[ laughing ]" "Okay." "So we have nothing to worry about." "[ "superstition" plays ]" "* very superstitious * * writing's on the wall * * very superstitious * * ladder's about to fall *" "* 13-month-old baby * * broke the looking glass *" "* seven years of bad luck * * good things in your past *" "* when you believe in things * * that you don't understand * * then you suffer * * superstition ain't the way *" "Hey!" "I didn't see that." "I'm so sorry." "No worries." "No..." "Worries." "I'll clean up." "I'll clean up." "I got it." "I got it." "Stevie, what are you doing with all this stuff in here?" "I like to buy in bulk." "Saves money." "Really?" "Yeah." "Rafts and oars and life vests?" "What, a black man can't go white-water rafting?" "Are you stocking up for the apocalypse?" "[ laughing ] the apoc..." "there is no apocalypse, tommy." "Barry, where are we with the trifecta?" "Yesterday, I saw a neck brace and an eye patch" "Before 7:00 a.M." "After that, though, snake eyes." "I say we hit a medical plaza, right?" "Right." "Some kind of a hospital, something that has" "An ophthalmologist and a chiropractor." "No, no, no, that breaks the whole" ""hit up a medical plaza" rule." "All right." "We find a dwarf, poke him in the eye," "And then shake him till he gets whiplash." "You can't do that." "You can't?" "No." "Otherwise, everybody would." "Mr. Atwood boasts the largest collection" "Of degautier handwritten original predictions." "Is this the bloke who put "earth" on his death pool for this Saturday?" "Nostradamus gets the press," "But degautier's prediction accuracy was higher." "Sort of like sanjay moon of his day." "[ both laugh ]" "I don't know who that is." "We just thought, since this is a doomsday party," "That armageddon it would be the perfect band." "Agreed!" "And here is my prediction ..." "Our final show is going to be earth-shattering." "It will literally shatter the earth." "Everybody's like, "wah!" falling off the earth." "I don't see any def leppard songs on this set list." "That's right, whitecap." "But you're a leppard tribute band." "Also right, my little hot tomato," "Which is why we're playing all new material." "They're coming out with a new album?" "Yes." "No." "Sort of." "It's kind of a gray area." "These are def leppard tracks ..." "right?" "..." "Written by us." "Can you do that?" "We did it." "It's done." "But it's the ultimate tribute ..." "Writing and recording their new album, right?" "Because we've been performing them so long," "We actually know what they're thinking" "Before they know what they're thinking." "Who, uh..." "Gave you this idea?" "T-o-m-m-y ..." "that's who said it." "Tommy." "Tommy." "Tommy." "He said we couldn't be original." "Ah." "Well, come Saturday night," "You won't be able to tell" "Where "hysteria" ends and "arrhythmia" begins." "You get it, right?" "When you mentioned tommy." "Sometimes I talk to him about relationship advice," "And I got..." "* lost in space * [ chuckles ] [ normal voice ] guy advice, right?" "A" "[ boy ] slurpably fun and a good source of calcium." "Hmm?" "[ "armageddon it" plays ]" "[ gasps ] [ music stops ] [ air hissing ] [ whimpering ]" "Yeah!" "You didn't miss it." "And this ain't even a putter!" "Dude, I need your help, man." "I'm so stuck." "I'm trying to, uh, outdo the last horoscope" "That I did for roxie, and I can't think of anything." "Remind me what the last one was." "I said, "do something extravagant,"" "And then rachel told me that she bought a motorcycle." "[ chuckles ] that's dangerous." "No, it's not dangerous." "Yeah, it is." "You trying to kill somebody." "No, I'm not gonna kill her." "She can't die." "She's liquid metal." "Hi." "I'm looking for sanjay moon?" "[ clattering ]" "What?" "That's roxie!" "Sanjay!" "Oh!" "Yo." "It is so wonderful to finally be in your presence." "[ chuckles nervously ] [ laughs ]" "I can just ..." "I can see your aura." "It's like lime green." "Lime gree... no." "Raiders silver and black." "I'm a man." "Ain't no lime ..." "lime green." "You're so cute." "I just was wondering" "If you would be willing to do a reading for me." "Right now?" "Yeah." "Mm." "Sure." "First, we got to..." "Okay." "Oh." "Close your eyes." "There you go." "The cards." "The cards." "You can open your eyes now." "You know, I think I'm gonna do the tarot cards." "Okay." "Okay, I'm gonna shuffle these up." "One for you, one for me." "One for you, one for me." "Ooh." "Pick up your cards." "All right." "Little different than..." "Most tarot-card readings." "Yeah, well, this is the sanjay way." "I..." "So..." "Okay." "Hmm." "A person used to work for you." "Yes!" "And you fired him." "You are truly amazing." "And you're feeling bad about firing him," "And you want them back in your life again" "Because you realize you made a mistake." "No." "I'm sorry." "What?" "No, I want to bury this person." "I just want to cut them off from the event community." "Just schw-w-k!" "What?" "Why?" "Well, the cards are saying different." "Right here is a judgement card," "And it says that you don't want to harbor" "Any negative feelings towards this person..." "Oh!" "...Because it'll give you a spiritual ulcer." "I've had one of those." "It burns." "This is what I think you need to do." "Let's schedule a sit-down with this person 'cause it's obvious that this simple-minded sucker" "Is too afraid to ..." "Ow!" "Are you okay?" "I'm talking to the spirits." "You know what?" "You are right." "Mm-hmm." "I am gonna go right now and confront her." "Her?" "Oh." "I saw him, but it's her." "Okay." "Mm!" "Your aura." "Oh!" "I mean, your aura ..." "I could just ... unh!" "..." "Unh!" "...Eat it!" "And you smell wonderful!" "Mmm!" "Thanks again." "Anytime." "Sanjay all the way." "I'm the king, dude, come on." "Come on, buddy!" "Ha!" "You're welcome." "You're welcome!" "Did you deal those like poker cards?" "I did." "And it worked." "* baby, I'm coming *" "Thank you." "Roxie:" "Coffee." "[ helmet thuds ]" "So, seven weddings in three days," "Cuddle party before that." "That's right." "Was the mcneil fertility soiree as tough as they say?" "You looking to become a single mom?" "You looking to steal my band?" "Well, maybe if you gave them more personal attention..." "Funny." "We had this exact same conversation" "Here in this exact same coffee shop." "Be sure to try our moose-burger special." "Moose is new." "Thank you." "Yeah, that's right." "I remember." "That was right before I quit." "Actually, I think you mean right before I fired you" "Because you ruined the very first wedding I let you plan." "Which was not my fault." "I mean, peter fell in love with me" "When I was planning this wedding." "Maybe that's the way the movie splenda-coated it," "But you and I both know what's what." "Drop the quirky, corgy, okay?" "Okay." "A woman once told me" "Of a woman who was watching way too much of the movie "heat,"" ""don't plan anything that you're not willing to fight for," "Should the heat come down the aisle."" "Now, if you were me, you'd plan, and you'd just be able to do." "But if you can't, then how do you expect to keep a band?" "There is a flip side to that save-the-date." "You come between me and my band, sister, you are going down." "Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that." "[ knock on door ]" "Eddie:" "Yo, yo!" "Hey, carrie." "Tommy:" "Funny." "Hi." "Funny stuff, eddie." "Yeah, yeah." "Dude!" "You watched the movie." "I did." "[ chuckles ]" "Disappointing, the end." "I didn't really like it." "Yeah, yeah." "Ingrid made me watch this like 50 times this week." "She's so excited to meet emily cor..." "Ooh." "Tommy, these ..." "these are nice sheets." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, they're just sheets." "I'd put the thread count at least at like two-thou..." "Oh, my god." "Did you pork corgy?" "Are you serious?" "You got that from the thread count?" "2,000 is not normal." "It's a quirk." "Okay." "You know what?" "They're not 2,000." "They're 2,200, okay?" "And so what?" "Sure." "I porked her." "I knew it!" "Unreal, man." "What are we gonna do now?" "What do we do when you break up with her?" "That'll be fun for the band." "It's gonna be too awkward to stay with corgy" "And too late to go back to rutherford." "You know what?" "I like her quirks, man." "I think they're cute." "No!" "You think they're cute now." "It's like when you go to the mall," "And there's this cute little puppy in the window." "And you're like, "oh, my god, I want to take him home,"" "And everything's great until, one day," "The puppy just starts peeing everywhere" "And then he starts chewing your remote" "And then he figures out how to break in to your fridge" "And he goes after your meat!" "Didn't we all tell you to crate pepper?" "Yes." "You know what?" "I deal with your quirks." "I don't have any quirks, tommy." "You blush and you giggle like you're 5" "Every time the gps girl tells you which direction to turn." "That's because she has a sexy voice." "[ indistinct conversations ]" "Why is armageddon it's stuff here?" "What?" "They are not replacing us again." "Uh..." "Excuse me." "Oh!" "Hi, guys, guys!" "Uh ... uh..." "Uh, we have a problem." "What?" "We've been double-booked." "How does that happen?" "Great." "This is the curse that just keeps on cursing." "Neck brace, neck brace, neck brace!" "What?" "What?" "Where?" "Where?" "What?" "So, two end-of-the-world parties at one venue?" "On the same night?" "How could this happen?" "Yeah, roxie, good question." "How?" "Honest mistake." "I mean, his name is atwood," "Her name is atwood," "And the last time they threw a party here," "They were married, and..." "You worked for her." "Well, you know what?" "Two competing parties can't be in one space," "So one group will have to go." "Two bands enter, one band leaves." "We're not leaving." "It's a draw." "How about that?" "[ bird screeches ]" "Psst." "That is awk-weird." "Hey, don't steal my word." "Well, don't let emily corgy steal our band." "Roxie seems so stubborn." "What am I supposed to do?" "Well, tommy's being stubborn, too, and you know tommy." "Stubborn enough to share an event space?" "Mm." "Excuse me." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Guys, I got this." "Come here." "Roxie, face the unexpected" "With the strength it takes to change your mind." "Remember your horoscope?" "It's like sanjay moon is watching over me, guiding my path." "Even if we coufind another venue on such short notice," "This one's too spectacular." "Rutherford knows this." "You know what?" "He's right." "He's right." "I mean, if we back down," "She's gonna think that she can walk all over you." "Yeah, the best thing to do is to combine both parties." "Okay." "Ohh." "Okay?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Quick idea ..." "Um, your marriage was a disaster, right?" "What better way to celebrate that than with this party, huh?" "Bring it together." "Together." "You guys all know the same people." "Why make them drive to separate parties?" "This is like the summer" "When "armageddon" and "deep impact" came out." "* we got to get right back to where we started from * [ cellphone rings ] ow!" "Uh, I got to take this, so just..." "Yeah." "Tommy:" "I know your make and model." "You alpha female?" "Huh?" "Queen bee?" "Roxie, you control all the menstrual cycles" "Of all the women in the office?" "Is that you?" "Tommy, where are you?" "I am everywhere," "And I know that you are the one" "That double-booked this party." "Whoa, whoa." "Wait." "You think that I did this?" "Are you kidding?" "Our first gig with emily?" "Yeah, I think you would want to screw that up." "Absolutely." "Sh-she ..." "she's what?" "She's not who I think she is?" "Is that what you were gonna say?" "You know what she believes in?" "Weddiquette." "She follows it ..." "she wouldn't ruin a party," "Not the way you're trying to." "Know what?" "I didn't peg you as the guy" "Who falls for the quirky, perky girl," "And when I say "falls," I don't mean "falls in love."" "I mean "falls for her act."" "If you ruin the end of the world," "I will cut off your earrings," "And I will wear them as crotchkies." "Got it?" "[ sighs ]" "Okay." "Okay." "Aye-aye-aye." "Come on!" "[ muttering ] can't believe it." "[ cheers and applause ]" "Hello, hello, you cheeky monkeys!" "[ cheers and applause ]" "And yankee wankers!" "Yes, that's right ..." "I'm talking to you." "How did you get in?" "You sneak in through the back?" "All right!" "Listen up!" "We're gonna play a brand-new cut" "From our latest leppard album, "arrhythmia."" "It's called "rock-pocalypse"!" "[ cheers and applause ]" "All right!" "Now check this out." "It's better to go up in flames than to go down in history!" "[ intro plays ]" "All right!" "* downtown, lost and found * * keep your ear to the ground * * strike the match, work that sound * * the whole wide world is burning down * * yes, it is * * you're so hard to read, don't know what you need *" "* I got love dyslexia * * gonna steal your heart, that's my favorite part *" "* I got kleptomania * * rock * * rock!" "* * pocalypse * * every time I kiss your lips *" "Did he just sing that part to rachel?" "Those are the worst pick-up lyrics I've ever heard." "* come to this?" "* * rock * * rock!" "* * pocalypse * * from your head down to your hips * * rock so dangerous * * another rock apocalypse *" "Yeah!" "All:" "Ohh!" "Ha!" "[ gasps ] this is part of the curse." "That means it's not just affecting us now." "It's spreading to the people we're close to." "Yeah." "This is terrible!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "It's almost 11:00, man." "All we have is a neck brace." "If we don't finish the trifecta by midnight, it resets." "I know." "Look ... back brace." "Back brace!" "No, no, man." "Dwarf or eye patch, okay?" "No substitutions." "It's a back brace." "More rare than a neck brace." "Rules are the rules." "Dude, dude!" "Magician!" "Magician!" "Magic's not real, barry, so..." "No!" "Midgmagician!" "Midget-cian!" "[ "rock-pocalypse" continues ] [ laughing ]" "Both:" "Midget!" "Midget!" "Midget!" "Midget!" "Faux joe:" "Oho-ho-ho!" "Wankers!" "Can you feel it?" "We just kicked your ear drums' arse!" "I didn't really feel anything, so, uh, sorry." "Yeah, I didn't really feel anything, either, big guy." "We just shagged the audience's brains" "With two albums' worth of new material, all original." "You know, we're not really up at rutherford's anymore," "So I ..." "I'm not sure that it matters so much." "Maybe we should move on." "Like rachel moved on from you?" "'cause I was covering for you last night" "When I had rachel cover me..." "In bed." "Just walk away." "Walk away." "No, no, no." "No, no, no." "It's fine." "It's fine." "I just want to make sure that he didn't take advantage of her" "In any way, which I'm sure you didn't, right?" "Tommy, you got it all wrong." "She just needed someone to talk to." "You weren't around." "I could give you a brief update of our conversation." "It went something like this, right?" "She was like that, and I said," ""rachel, that's nice." "I like that." "That's right." "Talk to me."" "And then she said, "oh, no, I like that, too."" "That's obnoxious." "Okay, thank you." "You don't fancy when people make lurid remarks" "About your fiancée?" "She's not my fiancée." "Well, then why was she wearing an engagement ring, then," "Moron tommy?" "[ chuckles ]" "Why was she doing that?" "She's engaged." "Not to me, but she's engaged," "Which is why she would wear the ring." "Dude, you broke rule number 1." "Pretty stupid." "Yeah, man." "Never break up a wedding." "Mm." "Yeah, 'cause that, my friend, is a bad karma-clysm." "You are for sure cursed." "Cursed." "[ normal voice ] I broke the rule." "Oh, damn it." "Damn it!" "Aah!" "Aah, aah." "I heard a pop." "Aah!" "Oh!" "Get me to an ambulance!" "[ motorcycle approaching ] [ sebastian screaming ]" "Help me, lady gaga!" "What is sebastian doing here?" "See?" "I knew the real emily had a real sebastian." "She does have a g.F.F." "Hold on a second." "Why ..." "why did you lie about him?" "Roxie:" "Go tell him." "Tell him how you kidnapped me from my boyfriend's party," "Knocked me out, and can't ride a motorcycle?" "!" "No, go tell him how you became emily's ex-g.F.F.!" "Go on." "Nice coat." "Thank you." "I thought the color really popped." "Emily plans more than weddings." "She manipulated peter" "Into falling in love with her ..." "no, that's not true." "Sebastian is just bitter because peter wasn't interested in him." "I'm angry because she made me pose as her fiancé" "To make him jealous..." "And it worked." "And that's the frosting on the cake, girlfriend." "Emily broke her first rule of weddiquette." "The planner is never the centerpiece." "So you ... you ruined that man's wedding." "Look, I-I know you're probably upset that I lied ..." "Did you double-book this, also?" "Was this your doing?" "Ohh, well, you can't blame me" "For wanting to get back at roxie for firing me." "Well, of course I don't blame you," "But this isn't how we do business, emily." "And that's the frosting on the cake, girlfriend." "You s-said that part." "I know." "I'm gonna want my sheets back." "Come on." "[ clears throat ] you know," "You always talk about us crossing the line, but kidnapping?" "I don't see any cops around here." "At least I wore gloves when I jumped sebastian." "Does that mean you're revoking our red cards?" "Wh... uh..." "Okay." "I'll be the bigger man." "What did you do to your neck?" "You know, pole dancing, I inverted a hurricane carol." "Never invert the hurricane." "I know." "I know." "Somebody couldn't live without us." "Actually, it has nothing to do with you." "You can thank sanjay." "You should read his horoscope sometime." "It's really insightful." "Thank you, we have time for one more song," "So please join me in welcoming the horny groomsmen." "[ cheers and applause ]" "Stevie, looks like we're not gonna reverse the curse." "I know." "We were so close, too." "All we needed was the eye patch." "The mini magician was cool." "Yes." "Come on." "Let's poke him in the eye." "Hey." "Rules are rules." "It'd at least be fun." "[ scoffs ]" "[ "it's the end of the world as we know it" plays ] * that's great * * it starts with an earthquake * * birds and snakes, an aeroplane * * lenny bruce is not afraid *" "* eye of a hurricane * * listen to yourself churn, world serves its own needs * * don't misserve your own needs, feed it up a knock * * no, no * * speed, grunt, strength *" "* ladder structure clatter with the fear of height * * down height, wire in a fire representing seven games * * and a government for hire and a combat site * * left her, wasn't coming in a hurry *" "* down your neck * * with the furies breathing * * team by team reporters baffled, trump * * tethered crop, look at that low plane * * fine, then * * uh-oh, overflow, population, common group, but it'll do *" "* save yourself, serve yourself, world serves its own needs * * listen to your heart bleed * * tell me with the rapture and the reverent and the right * * right * * you vitriolic, patriotic *" "* slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched * * it's the end of the world as we know it * * it's the end of the world as we know it * * it's the end of the world as we know it *" "* and I feel fine * * it's the end of the world as we know it * * it's the end of the world as we know it * * it's the end of the world as we know it *" "* and I feel fine *" "5...4...3...2... 1..." "Eye patch!" "[ cheers and applause ]" "Trifecta!" "[ cheers and applause ]" "So..." "Faux joe?" "It was one night, tommy." "We had sex." "Stop, stop, stop!" "I don't know if I want details." "I do want details." "And I'm kidding." "He had two beers." "Uh-huh." "He passed out." "I finished the 12-pack and..." "Decided to stay there instead of driving home." "That's it?" "That's it." "Okay." "I'm sorry." "Of all the lead singers," "Why is he the one you would go to for anything?" "What was I supposed to do?" "You weren't around." "I bet that came out wrong." "No." "I'm not engaged anymore." "What do you mean, you're not engaged anymore?" "What happened?" "I figured out why I couldn't plan my wedding." "Tommy, tommy." "Last call, dude." "Last call." "No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on." "No, no, no, no." "Ingrid's got the new g.F.F. Sebastian." "I got lots of free time." "We got to take advantage." "Let's do it." "Barry:" "Yes, it's the trifecta." "You can thank me and stevie." "Got another whole year of good luck." "Anything's possible." "All right!" "Anything." "Let's go do it." "Okay, okay." "Last call." "It was a good show." "I'm proud of us." "I think we did a good job." "We should have lit somebody on fire onstage." "Barry."

"MAN:" "The Yaneemango Indians live in the most remote parts of the Amazon jungle." "pickles:" "What are we watching here?" "MURDERFACE:" "Why are we watching this?" "NATHAN:" "I'm watching it!" "MURDERFACE:" "Change the channel!" " Pickles, play it!" " Yeah, I will." "TOKl:" "No, no, that's rewind!" " That's too fars!" " Play it!" "Looks at them." "They can't even skeak Spenglish." "You guys, shut up and get out of here." "SKWlSGAAR:" "You know?" "Get out!" "This is interesting to me, so leave it!" "I'm one-fourth Yaneemango." "...use a hallucinogenic drug called Yopo." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" "What did that guy say?" "Rewind." "[ speaking backwards ] Play." "Yaneemango use a hallucinogenic drug called Yopo." "Yopo?" "Am I saying that right -- Yopo?" "...the nasal cavities by means of a long pipe." "pickles:" "Dude, that's awesome!" "I've never heard of that." "The Yaneemango achieve a trancelike state... I got to try that stuff." "SKWlSGAAR:" "You really don't." "We wondered how the Yaneemango would react to hearing the world's most popular art form, Dethklok." "[ heavy metal music plays ]" "# Do you folks like coffee?" "#" "pickles:" "Dude, there's so much information about this drug, Yopo." "Dude, it says in here that the people who take it turn into their ancient animal form." "Dude, that's -- that's pretty metal." "Oh, that's awesome." "Let me s-- hey, Pickle, what would I turn into?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "What do you think I would turn into?" "pickles:" "Your breath smells." "Murderface:" "What?" "No, what would I turn into?" "Okay, just back off." "Stop breathing over my shoulder." "Just tell me what animal I would turn into, and I'll leave you alone, but make it really cool." "Get out of here!" " Snow beast." " Go get out of here." "I can't stop breathing out of my nose." "Let's look at some other books." "SKWlSGAAR:" "Oh!" "Oh, this here says that the Paos Ferro's woods in the Brazilians forest is what's yous could totally makes guitars out of." "I'm totally goings to do that." "Oh, I'm totally goings to do thats, too." "Tokis, why's yous gots to copies me all the times?" "I don'ts copies yous all the times." "Oh, yes, you does." "Why can't not I have one thing that am mine's?" "Hey, bud, what do you got going on there?" "Nothing, just -- hey, why don't you brush your teeth, man, stop breathing in people's faces?" "I ain't brushing my teeth in the library." "That's ridiculous." "I'm just reading about my grandmother." "It's pretty brutal." "It's a diary of her trip to the Amazon." "GRANDMOTHER:" "We were shipwrecked late last night." "Most of our crew was crushed by the rocks." "The rest were speared and eaten by the Yaneemango." "My beloved Walter still, as far as I know, is alive." "Day 13 -- l have fallen in lust with Oto." "We are powerful together." "Day 24 -- After eating with the Yaneemango, I notice Walter's pocket watch in my soup." "I realized I had eaten the soup of my beloved husband." "Ate her husband in a soup?" "Boy, that's totally cannibal corpse." "We're going to the Amazon." "# Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok #" "# Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok #" "DVD-rip and Subtitles by:" "Café G-Dub" "SELATClA:" "[ indistinct speaking ]" "He's here." "ORLAAG:" "General Crozier, thank you for coming." "What's this all about?" "Like you, we are very concerned about this Amazon trip, and we feel we need someone on the ground to take action in case something out of the ordinary occurs." "I can have my men mobilized in 24 hours." "We already have my best soldiers set to accompany you." "With all due respect, I would prefer to use mine." "Surely you understand the importance of keeping an eye on you, too, General Crozier." "Prepare to leave at once." "SKWlSGAAR:" "Gives to me this waterproofs guitars trunks and makes sures it can floats." "And gives to me waterproof guitars which shoots out bugs repellant." "Gives to me magic gloves whats can makes my hands fly." "Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans when the moons comes out." "Gives to me the swords that glows that shows me which way that is north." "Oh, gives to me a battle-axe which shows me which way south." "Stops copies me." "You stops copy me." "Stops copies me." "You stops copies me." "Stop copies me." "Oh, oh, wait, and get some bait." "You get pretty big fish down there." "Better get some big worms and get -- you know what?" "Get snakes." "Snakes are the biggest worms out there." "I'm sure there'll be plenty of snakes down there." "It's the Amazon." "There you go penny-pinching again." "Both:" "Stops copies me." "Stops copies me." "Stops copies me." "MURDERFACE:" "Oh, this is -- this is just awesome -- a choice assortment of jerky -- sweet-bean spice..." "What the [bleep]-- close your mouth when you talk, please." "Fine, I'll starve!" "Then I'll be eating my crocodile... I can't even understand you, you little jerk." "[bleep] you!" "You understand that?" "Both:" "Stops copies me." "Stops copies me." "Stops copies me." "Maybe an entire expedition isn't worth it." "Couldn't we just send them some hoodies." "It's always hoodies with you." "Will you -- will you just pay the bill?" "Stops copies me." "[ jet engine roaring ]" "Did you know there's an Amazonian catfish that can swim up your pee and lay eggs in your ding dong?" "Okay, that's it." "I'm done eating, all right?" "Just -- ugh!" "It's gross!" "You can mock me, but watch out when you pee!" "Just back off a little, all right?" "This a horrible combination of beef-jerky breath and repulsive information, okay?" "I'm not interested." "Fine, but you've been warned." "You've been warned, Pickles!" "Deth One to Hell Hammer." "All clear?" "Hell Hammer to Deth One." "All clear." "[ propellers whirring ]" "[ radar beeping ]" "That's not supposed to be there!" "Aah!" "Clear landing zone." "Cease fire!" "Cease fire!" "Check it out!" "Check out your left!" "Reload!" "Reload!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Fire!" "Release Deth boat." "MURDERFACE:" "That's it, just get some of the good jungle air." "Ahh, wind just whistling through." "SKWlSGAAR:" "Hey, I makes everyone sandwiches." "Pbht!" "Ohh, Murderface!" "What's going -- ohh, man!" "Murderface, what is wrong with you?" "Oh, my god." "You are so repressed!" "It's got nothing to do with repressed!" "Hey, how about this?" "I solve the problems." "Put your shirts backs on!" "Look at your wiener." "What?" "It's disgusting." "You know, it's all gnarled." "It looks like you stuck it in a hornet's nest or something." "I happen to play bass with it!" "It's callous buildup!" "What is this?" "It's like Amazon boat church or something!" "Can I please just take a leak before I pull my shorts up?" "Can I do that?" "pickles:" "Fine, go ahead, but just promise to never do that again." "Ahh!" "Oh, now I can see your ass!" "Disgusting!" "It looks like cottage cheese!" "Just let me do this." "Quick questions -- do you shave yours ass 'cause there's lots of stubbles goings on there." "Uh, quick answer -- [bleep] you!" "work out or something." "Look at your ass." "Ahh!" "pickles:" "It's a problem area." "[ indistinct whispering ]" "Aah!" "[ metal crunching ] [ glass breaking ]" "MAN:" "I'm sorry, master, but this river is too narrow to boat over." "I'm afraid we're going to have to abandon the gear and " "No, we're not gonna abandon the gear." "We'll pull the boat over that mountain." "You heard him!" "Get to work!" "[ wood cracking ] all:" "Aah!" "My people." "pickles:" "Hey, what do you think they plan on doing with us?" "Hopefully they will rapes us with thems womens." "What if they kills us?" "Doesn't anyone want to know how I'm doing?" "Don't kill me!" "l-l'm pregnant with parasites!" "I have to live!" "They depend on me." "SKWlSGAAR:" "They can't kills me because there are little goofball dildos dependings on me to plays the billions more notes on the guitars." "And they can't kills me, neither, 'cause I gots a millions little goofball dildos..." "You know what?" "Go ahead and kills me." "Go aheads and kills me, too." "I says it first, and yous repeats it after me!" "Stops copies me!" "I says it first, and you repeats me!" "Both:" "Stops copies me!" "Stops copies me!" "Stops copies me!" "[ speaking native language ] [ speaking native language ]" "MAN:" "Get ready." "Something's about to happen." "Oh!" "Oh, dude!" "They're getting Yopo!" "Dude, if we're gonna die, we're gonna die high!" "Yopo!" "Yopo!" "# l track my history #" "# Bloody burned family tree #" "# Native blood runs in me #" "# Murderous tendencies #" "# Keep bloodlust away #" "# Keep violence at bay #" "# Can't deny genetics #" "# Cannibal DNA #" "# Go perpetuate #" "# Go procreate #" "# Ensure homicide #" "# Keep bloodlines alive #" "# Our children will regress #" "# And hunger for the flesh #" "# They can't be controlled #" "# They hunger for your soul tonight #" "Ravenwood:" "Beware." "General." "General Crozier... you are dead."

"Apollo is going right." "He"s going for another right... another right." "Now he"s gone for the left." "Down on one knee." "Lou Filippo in there wiping off the glove." "Hard left and a right combination." "What is keeping him up, Bill?" "I don"t know." "He can"t even get his gloves up to protect himself." "Down!" "Stay down!" "Apollo dancing around with his arms in the air." "Five... six... seven... eight... nine..." "Apollo can"t believe it." "The champion got a left to the ribs -- his right ribs." "" " You OK, champ?" "" " Yeah, I"m OK." "" " Your rib"s broken." "" " He broke my ribs." "I can"t see nothing." "Gotta open my eye." "Cut me, Mick." "" " I don"t wanna do it!" "" " Go on, cut me." "" " Cut me." "" " OK." "Try it." "Cut it." "You"re bleeding" inside." "I"m gonna stop the fight." "You ain"t stopping" nothin", man." "" " You stop this fight, I"ll kill you!" "" " All right." "I won"t stop it." " l"m goin"!" "" " You wanna go..." "" " Last round." "" " You gotta do it!" "You gotta get it off!" "Get it off!" "There"s the bell for the 1 4th and final round." "You better start fightin"." "You been doin" nothin"." "You been doin" nothin"." "They look like they"ve been in a war, these two." "The champion really tagged him." "Apollo clearly protecting his right side -- his ribs." "" " Oh, look at that!" "" " Body punches!" "" " Hard left and right." "" " See the blood coming out of his mouth." "He"s spitting out blood now." "A tremendous right hand from Rocky." "Go for it." "Go for it, Rock!" "Listen to this crowd!" "Left to the ribs." "Another to the ribs." "That left hand again." "Right to the chin!" "He"s got him up against the ropes!" "Apollo, the champion..." "Ain"t gonna be no rematch." "Don"t want one!" "" " You went 1 4 rounds." "How do you feel?" "" " All right." "What were you thinking about when that buzzer sounded off?" "Adrian!" "Rocky..." "We have had the privilege of witnessing the greatest exhibition of guts and stamina in the history of the ring." "Eight for Apollo Creed!" "" " Those fans out there deserve a rematch." "" " Ain"t gonna be no rematch." "Come on!" "I had enough things in my face today!" "Adrian!" "Rocko!" "That"s my friend." "Rocko!" "You"re breaking my jacket." "Paulie!" "" " Adrian!" "" " Rocky!" "Adrian!" "Hey, where"s your hat?" "" " I love you!" "" " I love you." "Rocky Balboa!" "Get "em outta here!" "Let him breathe, will ya?" "Give him air." "Sit down, Rocky." "Sit down." "" " Did you think you had it won?" "" " I don"t know." "" " How about a statement, Rocky?" "" " I don"t know. I"m at a loss for words." "" " Get back there!" "" " Rocky, did you think you had it won?" "" " Where"s the doctor?" "" " How"s my nose?" "As bad as Mickey"s?" "It ain"t that horrible." "Now give him a break." "Get outta there." " ls that the worst beating you ever took?" "" " You"ll get worse if you don"t get out." "What did you think in the last round?" "That I shoulda stayed at school or somethin"." "" " Do you think you have brain damage?" "" " I don"t see any." "" " Where is he?" "" " Apollo, how about a statement?" "Get away from me!" "Stallion!" "You got a dull skull, Stallion." "You"re lucky, so lucky." "What you did was a miracle." "You"re the luckiest man on the face of the earth." "" " Do I look lucky?" "" " Nobody goes the distance with me." "Get up out of that chair, and finish this fight." "" " Don"t, please." "Sit down." " ls he serious?" "" " Did the bell save you, Apollo?" "" " Bell nothin"." "I can beat that chump." " l"ll fight him any place, any time." "" " You mean a rematch?" "I said any place, any time, man." "Can you hear?" "You said there weren"t gonna be no rematch." "" " Look, chump, any place, any time." "" " A rematch could be worth millions." "" " Well, I"m officially retired now." "" " Don"t you run out on me now, Stallion." "I gave you a shot the first time." "Now I"ll give you a second." "He sure has a lot of energy." "You got nothin" to prove." "I don"t care what the hell them judges said -- this is the man that won the fight!" "I"m gonna show you how lucky you are!" "You"re gonna fight me again, chump!" "Don"t run out on me!" "Come back here!" "Adrian?" "You better go home, cos l"m gonna be busy healing" here for a while, you know." "" " I wanna be here." "" " Maybe you better go home with Paulie and get some sleep, you know?" "" " I love you." "" " I love you." "See you later." "See you, Mick." "Can you fix my nose?" "I"m a little depressed about my nose." "We"ll fix that all right." "It"s the eye that concerns me." "The eye"s great." "I ain"t never really felt this good." "You guys shoulda seen us tonight." "We did good." "You had him in the 1 0th, and in the 1 4th he was gone." "" " You think so?" "" " Trust me." "I was there." "" " How"s your face, Rock?" "" " I don"t know." "How"s it look?" "Well, I wouldn"t want it." "Rocky, I got a little favour I"d like to ask you." "You know your friend Gazzo, he admires you a lot." "" " Tell him to give me your old job." "" " You mean collecting"?" " l"m good with numbers." "" " Yeah." "OK." "As soon as I get finished, you know, healing" here, I"ll tell him to give you my old job, OK?" "Visiting hours are over." "I have to ask you to leave." "" " Now." "" " OK." "See you later, Paulie." "OK." "Everybody"s proud of you, Rock." "Now." "" " I feel good tonight." "" " Yeah, you look good." "Let"s go." "" " How are we feeling tonight?" "" " Oh, very handsome." "" " That tastes good." "" " My kid would die for your autograph." "" " Sure." "" " Would you sign it to:" ""My good friend Charlie Flynn."" "" " My hands are so sore." " lt"s OK." " lt"s my first autograph." "" " Thank you." "You"re welcome." "To my good friend Charlie Flynn, who I don"t even know." "Yo, Apollo?" "" " Who is it?" " lt"s just me, Rocky." "Listen..." "" " Could you answer me one question?" "" " Yeah, sure." "Did you give me your best?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "This year..." "" " You all right?" "" " Great being" outside." "This coming year you"re gonna make $300,000." "This fiscal year." "" " Hey, Rock!" "" " How you doin", Pete?" "" " Hey, could you sign my head?" "" " Yeah, sure." "" " Thanks." "" " Hope it don"t go to your brain." "" " Bet that"s heavy." "" " A bit." "Just think how fast you"ll be when you get it off." "Just a minute." "Can I borrow this?" "Let me use your head." "" " Sign, Rocky." "Sign the deal." "" " I wanna talk to you a little bit about this." " lt"s a standard deal." "" " Just for talkin" about shaving" stuff?" "" " Sledgehammers... whatever." "Batteries..." "" " All kinds of commercials." "" " Balls and baseballs?" "" " You"re gonna make $300,000." "Strike while the iron"s hot." "20 minutes, it"s all over." "" " Yeah, people kinda forget." "" " The time is now to make a dollar." "Sign it here. lt takes you two seconds to sign. lt"s a standard deal." "OK, I"ll sign it, but I gotta go somewhere now." "Where you goin"?" "What could be more important?" "I just gotta do some things, but I"ll be back. I"ll talk to you." "" " Give me a call, then." "" " Where will we call you?" " l"ll give you a call." "" " You got a number?" "I"ll just call you." "I"ll go "Hey!" "Yo!" l"ll call you." "All right, you call." "The guy"s got brain damage." "It"s great being" outta the hospital and not havin" to take all those pills." "And my legs were gettin" so sore and all that from just layin" there." "I was kind of shrinking" and all that." "It"s great to be outside, you know?" "" " What are we doin" here at the zoo?" "" " Well, you know, I kinda like the zoo a lot." "It"s a special place, especially when it snows -- it smells clean and everything." "Don"t you like the zoo?" "Huh?" "" " I like the zoo." "" " Yeah, me too." "You know, I was wonderin", like..." "What do you think you"re doin" for, like, the next... 40 or 40 years?" "What do you mean?" "I was wonderin" if... you wouldn"t mind marrying me very much." "What"d ya say?" "If you wouldn"t mind marrying" me too much." "Yes. I"d like to marry you." "" " Yeah?" "" " Yes." "I"ll be a good guy, I promise." "I ain"t gonna do nothin" wrong." "I ain"t gonna leave no hair in the sink or nothin"." "Things are gonna be great, you know that?" "Hey, we"re gettin" married, you know." "You wanna come?" "If you can get out for the weekend, I"ll send you an invitation!" "That"s fantastic, ain"t it?" "Yeah, absolutely." "Yes." "" " I do." "" " Thanks." "You may kiss the bride now." "" " I gotta take this off?" "" " Yeah." "Go in peace and God bless you." "Uh, thanks, Father." "You done real good. I"m proud of ya." "" " Things are gonna be great." "" " Rocky, congratulations!" "Thanks a lot, thanks a lot." "Thanks, Tony." "" " I ain"t gonna need any luck." "" " Rock, you wanna buy into the pet shop?" "Thanks, but I"m gonna do commercials instead." "Commercials?" "What for?" "Concussion?" "Ain"t that father somethin"?" "" " Good luck to the both of ya." "" " Thanks, Mick." "I gotta go back to the gym." "I got a couple of good prospects." "" " Are they really good?" "" " Pretty good." "" " See you around." "Thanks for coming." "" " Can we go drink now?" "Can I borrow the bridegroom for one minute?" "" " You look beautiful, Adrian." "" " She really turned out pretty." "Listen, how much money you make from your last fight?" "How much did you clear?" "" " About 37 grand." "" " Taxes kill you." "What do you wanna do with your money now?" "Put "em on the street?" "" " I told you." "I just got married here." "" " I know, and I"m happy for you." "How"s about investing in condominiums?" "It"s safe." "" " Condominiums?" "" " Yeah, condominiums." "I never use them." "" " Hey, yo!" "What are youse doin"?" "" " Hey, Rock!" "What"s happenin", man?" "Well, you know, I just got a little married, you know." "" " Congratulations!" "" " You guys drinking" some wine?" "" " Yeah, we"re doin" it." "" " Keep singin"." "I like that stuff." "Sing somethin" for him." "" " Who are they?" "" " They"re the neighbourhood"s jukebox." "" " I never knew you were so light." "" " Never?" "If I did, I woulda carried you everywhere." "" " Are you gettin" tired?" "" " No, this is great for the arms..." "I think." "" " I can"t believe we"re married." "" " We are." "I got proof in my pocket." "" " Everything happened so fast." "" " Yeah." "" " But I knew what"d happen from the start." "" " What did you know?" "The first time I see you, I says to myself, I says..." "Even though this girl is suffering from the disease of being shy, underneath them sweaters and hat -- what did you have on?" "20 sweaters?" "" " No... three." "" " Three sweaters is the best girl in Philly." "Oh, yeah!" "I said that." "" " Really?" "" " Oh, yeah." "Here we are, safe and sound." "Hey, yo, Butkus!" "Could you get down?" "Go on." "Go find another seat, will ya?" "You want me to help you with this?" "Hey, can I take this off?" "That"s the way I like you." "You know... you"re the best thing that ever come into my crazy life, you know that?" "Really." "You"re the best thing that ever come into my life." "You think it"ll always be like this?" "Yeah." "" " I hope you..." "" " What?" "You never get tired of me." "Oh, no." "You ain"t never gettin" rid of me." "I hope nothing changes." "I ain"t changing." "I sure ain"t never changing nothin" about you." "" " I love you." "" " I love you too." " lt"s a nice car, Rock." " lt"s a great car." "" " Here"s the papers." "" " Thanks a lot." "" " Congratulations." "" " Thanks." "Same to you. lsn"t that nice?" "" " We really don"t need a car." "" " Come on, Adrian." "I"m gonna be doin" commercials now." "I can afford this." "No problem." "" " Do you know how to drive?" "" " Do I know how to drive?" "" " Do you know how to drive?" " l"m one of the greats. I"ll drive you." "Let me put you inside the car." "This"ll be like Cinderella and the pumpkin." "" " Do you know how to drive?" "" " Do I know how to drive?" "!" "I drive airplanes and bulldozers. I"d drive you crazy if you"d give me a chance." "Oh, yo, Adrian!" "Look at this here." "Tell me that wouldn"t look great on you." "This coat here?" "Huh?" "What about that one?" "" " This coat"s OK." "" " Look at this black thing with the tiger." "You like animals?" "I love animals." "Black"s kinda my favourite colour." "You wanna buy "em?" "I say we get "em before someone else buys "em." "Come on, Adrian." "" " I think that would be perfect." "" " I think that"s perfect too." "Don"t you think this is kind of expensive?" "Well, hey, do you like having a good time?" "" " Yes." "" " Then you need a good watch." "I wanna get one for Paulie too, OK?" "" " We"ll take these." "" " What about one for yourself?" "I can"t tell time very good, but, all right, I"ll take one too." "You got somethin" nice for Butkus?" "Sure thing, Rockhead." "" " Do you like that?" "" " Oh, look at that." "Hey, Butkus!" "Look at that." "Your neck looks great. ls that nice?" "Hey, Gloria, you got somethin" a little smaller?" "" " Look at that." "" " Oh, yeah." "Look at that." "You see?" "Now, that"s what I call class." "You OK, Butkus?" "Nice house. I"d say it"s a nice house in general, wouldn"t you?" "" " Look at these bricks, Adrian." "" " My husband"s an expert on bricks." "" " Are these new bricks?" "" " This is a very solid neighbourhood." "" " You"re gonna like this very much." "" " I like these bricks." "Very nicely done." "Nice mailbox." "I like this mailbox." "These numbers almost add up to nine." "I like that." "That"s a good omen." "Nice house." "Hey, Adrian, that"s a great spot for the bag." "I could teach you how to work that bag someday." "Uh, does it have copper plumbing?" "Upstairs and down." "This whole house is supported with steel." "The whole thing." "All these floors are solid oak." "Mrs Balboa, can I show you the kitchen?" "I think you"re gonna really like it." "Solid." "That"s good to know." "Hey, Adrian, that"s a great spot for a radio." "Right over there, you know." "Look at these steps." "Nice steps." "" " Hey, nice kitchen." "" " Nice." "Nice kitchen, yes." "" " What are taxes every year?" " 1 400." " 1 400." "" " Hey, Adrian, I like it." "I know a pretty good deal when I see one, too." "Excuse me." "I wanna talk to my husband for one second." "" " Can I talk to you?" "" " Sure." "I got no appointments." "Rocky, you are making this man"s job very easy." "The bank said it will give us a $1 6,000 first mortgage at 9% r cent." "That don"t matter." "I say we get the house now." "" " We didn"t even go upstairs." "" " That"s just details. I"m sure it"s nice." "" " Details, huh?" "Are you sure?" "" " Absolutely." "OK?" "All right, we"ll take the house." "And it better not leak, or else." "I wanted to tell you..." "Excuse me." "Could you stand over there?" "" " I gotta talk secretly with my wife." "" " Sure." "I understand." "I kinda feel stupid talkin" like this with the lights on and everything, but the house here and solid oak floors and all that stuff, and the plumbing wouldn"t be nothin" without you bein" here." "Without you bein" here, I probably..." "I wouldn"t be here either, you know." "" " You don"t have to speak." "" " No?" "OK." "Let"s go celebrate here." " l"ll beat you to the pool!" "" " Hey, you guys!" "Slow down." "Mary Anne." "Mary Anne, listen to this." ""You didn"t beat nobody." "Anybody who knows boxing knows the fight was fixed."" "This one came from London." ""You call yourself the champ."" ""You"re a fake." "The fight was a fake." "Go kill yourself."" "Wouldn"t you rather play with the children than read hate mail?" ""How much did you get to carry that bum for 1 4 rounds?" "You"re a disgrace."" "Why can"t you ignore it?" "!" "Are you serious?" "Come on, let me get you in focus there." "All right, I"m ready." "" " Are you blind, Rock?" "" " Are you gettin" wise with me?" "Come on!" "Throw the ball, Swifty." "Let me see your best here. I"m waitin" for ya." "I"m waitin" for ya." "Come on. I"m ready now. I"m just warmin" up." "Are you ready for this?" "Keep your mouth closed." "It"s comin" in that direction." "" " What a shot!" "" " Now I know the day weren"t no waste." "Come on, Swifty." "" " Yeah?" "" " Yes." "Adrian!" "You did it!" "Oh, yeah!" "I knew you had it in you." "You woke up, you had a smile on your face." "I said "Somethin" special"s gonna happen today." I knew it was gonna be different." "If this kid has your good looks and your good brains and my good left hook, he"s really gonna be somethin"." "Oh, no, what if it"s a girl?" "What if it"s a girl?" "Oh, I didn"t think about that." "Well, she"ll be everything I"m not." "She won"t have to be shy." "We could give her singing and dancing lessons." "How about a new dress every day?" "Have to hire a bodyguard when she starts goin" to school to keep the boys away." "You know how them little boys can be." "A real pest in general." "And if it"s a boy, I"d like him to be just like the father." "Don"t you think one dumbbell in the family"s enough?" "I"ll tell you one thing -- this kid won"t get no tattoos." "It ain"t gonna be hanging around no corners or dress like no wise guy like me." "He"s gonna be a good somebody like you." "" " Like you." "" " No, no, no." "Like you." "" " Like you." "" " No, no." "Like you." "Like you." "Yo, Adrian." "We did it." "Didn"t we?" "" " How you feel, Rocky?" "" " Pretty good." "The reason we didn"t call was we wanted to wait till the swelling went down." "" " I see." "" " You look terrific now." "" " Yeah?" "" " We"re gonna make a buck together." "That"s good." "I got a deal today from Smart Deal Toy Company." "Did you ever hear of them?" "" " No." "" " Did you ever hear of a Smart Deal Toy?" "" " No." "" " No?" "Big." "They"re number one." "And they wanna make a Rocky doll." "You can kick it." "You can beat it." "For kids." "You can kick it." "You can beat it. lt does everything." "" " Pretty smart, yeah." "" " Takes a terrific beating." "I think it"s a great idea." "We"re gonna make a lot of money." "is he ready there?" "" " Finito." "" " How do I look?" "" " The best." "" " Fabulous." "" " Adrian, how do I look?" "" " Different." "" " Sensational." "Come on, let"s get it on." "" " OK." "He"s gonna be great." "" " Don"t be nervous." "" " Yeah." "How do I look?" "" " I look stupid, don"t I?" "" " Yes." "" " You got any deodorant?" "" " No." "Excuse me." "All right, we"re ready." "Let"s go, Arthur." "In the cage, Rock." "" " Just the way we rehearsed." "" " Everyone get ready for picture now." "Girls, come on." "Look alive, dear." "A little higher." "Show the product." "That"s it." "Magic time!" "Look alive." "" " Roll, please." "" " Speed." "" " Beast aftershave." "Take one." "" " Action!" "" " Go now?" "" " Action." "In the mornin" I splash it on and it makes me... smeel mainly." ""Smeel mainly"?" "Cut!" "Isn"t that "smell manly"?" "Can you read that, Rock?" "" " Yeah." "" " Well, let"s go again." "Excuse me." "I know I said it wrong, but it really don"t smell manly." "Do you think this stuff smells like a man?" "I"d say absolutely no." "" " Are you finished?" " l"m sorry." "" " OK." "Rolling again." "" " Speed." "" " Beast aftershave." "Take two." "" " Action!" "In the mornin" I splash it on and it surrounds my face with class." "Cut!" "Action!" "And Beast aftershave will turn the women into beasts." "Cut!" "Action!" "If you want to be the king of the beasts and smell like a jungle rat..." "Cat... rat... cat..." "They look alike." "Action!" "In the afternoon when I put it on to go out with the guys," " and have a rendezvouse..." "" " Cut!" "We"re cutting this set." "" " We"re going to the alternate set." "" " I can get it." " l"m sure you can." "Get out of the cage." "" " The word "rendezvous"..." "Rendezvous over to the other set, Rock, if you don"t mind." "" " Sure." "" " We"ve only wasted four hours." "Arthur, let"s reorganise." "We"re going to the alternate set." "It sounded great inside, before it come out like that." "Get the damn club away from him and get the girls into their outfits." "Where is the wardrobe people?" "Where are the prop people?" "All right, wet him down." "" " Arthur, step out, please." "" " Speed." "Beast aftershave: "The Contender." Take seven." "Try to get it right." "Action!" "Hi." "My name is Rocky Balboa, the Italian Stallion." "They say I"m the American dream, but not cos..." "" " Can I do it over again?" "" " Christ!" "Cut." "No, just keep it rolling." "Keep it rolling." "Just read it off the dummy cards." "" " Dummy cards?" "" " Please!" "Go on." "Wait a minute. I"d like to explain somethin"." "I ain"t punchy." "I got what you call, like, I don"t know, a relaxed brain, but I ain"t punchy." " lt"s just the way I talk here." "" " What"s the difference?" "" " Can you just do it the way it"s written?" "" " That ain"t right." "" " This whole thing here ain"t right." "" " What isn"t right?" "Well, you"re a rude guy." "I"m trying very hard." "" " That"s bad manners, ain"t it, Adrian?" "" " Yes." "I"ll tell you, I gotta be almost punchy to be doin" this in front of my wife." "You wanna quit?" "Then quit!" "Leave!" "Get outta here!" "I didn"t want you in the first place." "You have wasted our time, sir." "This is a complete bust, the whole afternoon." "Leonard." "Leonard, where are you going?" "I want you to take him with you, Leonard." "Take him with you." "He is not a professional." "I only work with professionals." "You cost us thousands because you can"t read." ""lt"s no time to cuss me" snarled the robber." ""By God, fellas." "Grab your rifles and take colour... cover." How does that sound?" " lt"s good." "" " Yeah?" "Being a good reader"s gonna help me get a good office job." "" " Wanna hear some more?" "" " I can"t wait." "OK." ""There ain"t no cover" said Brad Lincoln." ""We better head for the canyon."" "" " You read nice." "" " Thank you." "You lie nice." "Thank you." "How far did you go in high school, Mr Balboa?" "" " Ninth." "" " And one last question." "Do you have a criminal record?" "Nothin" worth bragging" about." "Would you be interested in some sort of manual labour?" "Well, I got nothing against honest manual labour." "It"s just that I"d like to see if I could make a livin" sittin" down, like you"re doin"." "Can I be honest?" "No one"s going to offer you an office job." "There"s too much competition." "Why don"t you fight?" "I"ve read somewhere you"re a very good fighter." "Yeah." "Well..." "Was you ever punched in the face 400 times a night?" "Stings after a while, you know." "Thank you very much for your time." "I appreciate it." "Mr Balboa, I"m very sorry." "We have nothing." "" " Are you sure?" "" " Next." "Look, pal, you gotta be realistic." "You got no high--school diploma, no qualifications." "Wouldn"t you be more content with a good--paying menial labour job?" "Thanks." "The way I see it is I can get another job if I wanna." "But do I wanna?" "Do I wanna be doin" something I ain"t gonna be happy doin"?" "Plus, you know, we need the money now, Butkus." "Dogs don"t wanna hear my problems." "Come on." "Yeah." "I wish I was a canine sometimes." "Gimme a kiss." "" " The only job I got"s lugging" beef." "" " You got nothin" better than hauling" beef?" "That"s all I got and we"re cutting back too." "So, Rocky, it"d be from week to week." "That"s OK with me, but when can I start?" "" " How about tomorrow?" "" " Well, how about today?" "OK." "We got a load comin" in." "Hey, Paulie, you look kinda skinny there." "" " Yeah, he"s losing" weight, ain"t he?" "" " Don"t bother to thank me." "Hey, thanks a lot, Paulie." "You don"t have to thank me for the watch, either." "Quittin" time!" "There"s the best--lookin" thing I seen all day." "" " You look tired." "" " No, no." "My face is tired." "I feel OK." "" " You wanna take a hot bath?" "" " No, come on." "I feel dynamic." "Honest." "Hey, listen, tomorrow..." "I was thinking at work, maybe after work I"ll take you out." "You wanna do somethin" nice, huh?" "You wanna do that?" " l"d like to do that." "How"s your stomach?" "" " Fine." "You look great." "Do you know that?" "" " Hey, Rock, they just like old friends." "" " Old friends never tasted this good." "I heard that." "Yo, Rock!" "You wanted me, Frank?" "I gotta let you go." "How come?" "I"m workin" hard." "I"m doin" good." "Yeah, but we gotta cut back on manpower and you ain"t got enough time in." "Seniority." "How about if I take a cut in pay, all right?" "Can"t do it." "Union rules." "" " Can I finish out the day?" "" " Sure." "Hey, Rocky..." "I"m sorry." "Yeah, me too." "You got more stories than a book, you know that?" "There"s my brother--in--law, Rocky." "Gimme the five." "My brother--in--law come to visit me." "How you doin"?" "How"s everything?" "How"s business?" "OK?" "Yeah." "" " Lookin" over your old stompin" ground?" "" " Yeah." "Listen, you wanna buy this car?" "" " I thought you liked it." "" " I don"t need it no more." "I can"t make these right turns with my bad eye." "Keep hittin" trash cans and things like that." "" " You got problems?" "You need bread?" "" " No, everything"s OK." "This car"d look great wrapped around you, wouldn"t it?" "Look, you need a hand--out, I"ll give you a hand--out." "No, I don"t need no hand--out, Paulie." "Look, you wanna buy the car?" "Sure." "Why don"t you be smart and fight again?" "That"s OK." "I don"t need to fight no more." "You wanna buy the car?" "You wanna pick up the payments?" "My sister giving" you a hard time?" "If she is, you break her teeth." "I appreciate the advice, Paulie, but I kinda like her teeth where they are." "There you go." "You bought yourself a car." "Good car, you know." "Gotta buckle up for safety and all that." "Where you goin"?" "You need a lift?" "Nah." "See you around." "Say hi to my sister for me!" "Hey, listen, if you two need the car, just ask!" "When did you get home?" "I thought you were at work." "No, I... ain"t at work no more." "I got..." "I got canned today." "" " What happened?" "" " I don"t know." "I was... lt was nobody"s fault." "They were just cutting back. lt was economics." "" " What are you gonna do?" "" " I don"t know." "I was... thinkin" about fightin"." "What about your eye?" "The doctor said you shouldn"t fight any more." "No, no." "He recommended I don"t fight, and I recommend that I do." "" " You"ll go blind." "" " Nobody"s goin" blind." "Honest, I see great." "I see like a beagle or somethin" like that." "Oh, Rocky, you gave me your word you wouldn"t fight any more." "I mean, if we need money, I could get a job." "You don"t have to do that." "Oh, sure." "I can get my job back, you know, part time, at the pet shop." "But I"m the one who"s supposed to support." "It"s just for a little while." "Listen, what if you catch some pet--shop disease?" "There are no pet--shop diseases, Rocky." "Really, I wanna work." "Well, maybe you"re right, you know." "You know what"s best, you know." "Could you start dinner?" "I"m starting" to get hungry." "I just wanna finish my workout here, OK?" "Sure." "Who the hell is that?" "" " Avon lady." " ls that Rocky?" "Hey!" "I don"t remember giving" you no key." "Come on up here." "Well, the prodigal son returns!" "Don"t look so bad, do ya?" "What"s that?" "A outer--space monster you brought?" "That"s Butkus, my large dog." "What"s that in your ear?" "What is it?" "Just a..." "I hear stupid things better." "Well, now, did you come here to show me that dog?" "No." "Mick, can I have my locker back?" "" " What"s on your mind?" "" " Fightin"." "Fightin"?" "What?" "You wanna go blind?" "" " Nobody"s goin" blind." "" " You heard what I said?" "Yeah, and the eye"s great." "No problem." "Now, listen, every pug thinks he has one good one left." "Now forget it, cos your fightin" career is over, kid." " ls that right?" "" " I think that"s right." "I spend my whole life gettin" a career." "I get one, and you tell me it"s over." "What"s the matter?" "You shook the hell out of the champion of the whole wide world." "" " You be happy with that." "" " Maybe we can do better this time." "" " Or worse." "What about that?" "" " Hey, yo, Mick." "I done you a favour last time, you know." "Can you do me one this time?" "I don"t know." "You don"t understand me." "I wanna show you somethin" now." "Test you." "Now, look, you look right there at the end of my nose, will ya?" "" " I wanna test you." "" " Look at your nose." "You look at my nose." "When I bring my finger in, you tell me when you see it." "" " There"s the little thing." "I see it." "" " That"s good." "" " I told you. lt"s OK." "" " Now, wait." "Now we"ll try the other lamp." "Now, look here, will ya?" "Now, tell me..." "" " I see it." "" " No, you see nothin"." "Creed would have caved in the whole side of your face." "Now, forget it, kid." "You got the heart, but you ain"t got the tooth no more." "Now, forget it!" " ls that right?" "" " That is right." "Yeah?" "Well, maybe it"s you who ain"t got it no more, you know that?" "Huh?" "Well, that was from a broken--down pug like me." "What do you think the champ would do to ya?" "" " I don"t know." "Hurt me bad." "" " No." "He"d hurt you permanent." "Permanent." "You know, Mick, if..." "If I can"t fight no more... maybe I can help out around here, you know." "Here?" "Well, sure, but..." "You know, you"re like royalty here, kid." "You want those guys to see you carryin" towels and buckets around?" "Where"s your dignity?" "I don"t know how to say this." "I just..." "I gotta be around it." "All right, kid." "Will you come back tomorrow, huh?" "Thanks a lot, Mick." "Look, as long as I"m gonna be promoting this fight myself," "I want more pressure on for a rematch." "Hey, we can get the same money for the two top contenders." "Why go after Balboa?" "Why?" "Because there"s still a lot of people that think he won." "There"s people accusing" me of havin" the fight fixed, of bein" a fake, and insulting" my kids at school." "" " You wanna hear the truth?" "" " Yeah." "The truth is that last time he was damn lucky." "Now he"s all finished." "He"s been hangin" around doin" nothin" for six months." "Any trainer worth anything wouldn"t have nothin" to do with him." "Now, I say let"s go after some new meat." "Forget this bum." "Do you think I beat him the last time?" "Do you?" "" " You got the decision." "" " Man, I won, but I didn"t beat him!" "What are you afraid of, Tony?" "" " Honest?" "" " Yeah, honest." "He"s all wrong for us, baby." "I saw you beat that man like I never saw no man get beat before, and the man kept coming after you." "We don"t need that kind of man in our life." "I know what you"re feelin"." "Let it go." "You"re the champ." "Thank you." "You"re in charge of my public relations." "I want a new campaign started." "I want somethin" done publicly to bring this man out, to jar this man"s pride, to get the people around him talkin"." "If we use this humiliation tactic, you"re setting yourself up as the bad guy." "Whatever gets him in the ring." "" " What"s happenin"?" "" " Hey." "" " What?" "" " Where"s your heart?" "" " What are you talkin" about?" "" " You heard me." "Well, what"s this?" "It"s kinda funny, don"t you think?" "Hey, Chico, listen." "Hey, listen." "What"s with the grin?" "How"d you get so happy with yourself?" "Let me tell you somethin"." "Snarl more, you see." "Now, a good snarI can give you what the Bible calls a psychological edge, because you snarl on your punches..." "Wait a minute." "Hey, Rock!" "Show him that." "That"s it, you see." "That"s ugly!" "That"s a snarl." "Hey, John, will you empty them buckets?" "They"re flowing" over." " l"ll do it." "" " Let him do it." "" " I got it, Rock." "" " Hey, Rock..." "Hey, wait a minute." "Now you can take it." "" " Whoops." "" " Hey!" "Can"t you think of anything tougher to say than "whoops"?" "Come on, hit that right." "Wait a minute, wait a minute." "Hold it." "All right." "Come on." "Yo, Rock." "Yo, Tony." "How you doin"?" "How am I doin"?" "How are you doin"?" "I heard you was workin" in this dump." "What are you doin"?" "I"m sweeping" up, makin" a few bucks here and there." "You ain"t no janitor." "You don"t need a job like this." "Besides, you"re Italian." "" " You come back and work for me." "" " Well, what would I be doing?" "You mean, like..." "like, collecting" or somethin"?" "What else?" "Come back, work on the docks, you get some fresh air." " lt stinks in here." "" " I appreciate the offer, but..." " .." "I can"t do that stuff no more." " lt"s healthy, huh?" "Now, look, I gotta go." "Take it easy, huh, champ?" "Yeah." "See you around." "Remember that guy, Rock?" "How"s everybody in the clubhouse tonight?" "" " Oh, fine." "How"d your day go?" "" " A million laughs. it was great." "" " You need some help with that?" "" " Yes." "Hey, maybe you oughta stay home and rest your stomach." " lt"s just part time." "We need the money." "" " Yeah, well, maybe you"re right." "There we go." "That ain"t my brand." "I like oatmeal." "Listen, why don"t we forget all this work?" "You wanna come home with me now?" "Maybe I"ll tell you a few jokes and maybe you"ll laugh." "We need a few laughs in our life." "What do you think?" "Maybe?" "" " Yes." "" " Maybe?" "" " Maybe." "" " Maybe?" "OK." "Let"s get outta here, OK?" "" " OK." "" " Here we go." "Hey, listen, Adrian." "Listen to this one." "Why do cows wear bells?" "" " Why?" "" " Cos their horns don"t work." "is that killing" ya?" "No?" "You really sweep good, man!" "is he talking to you?" "Nah, he probably has me mixed up with somebody else." "Come on." "Italian chicken." "Boy, you guys got the easy life." "Hey, how you guys doin"?" "Did anybody move today, you know, huh?" "How"s life in the bowl?" "You gotta exercise once in a while." "Would you like a little snack or somethin"?" "Here you go." "Come on, Cuff." "Hey, Link, are you drowning down there?" "Hey, wanna hear some TV?" "..the Los A$ngeles Rams." "The Rams defeated the Buccaneers in overtime 13 to 10 on Frank Corell's 45-yard..." "Hey, Butkus." "Come here, boy." "What"d you do today, huh?" "Did you bark at anybody today?" "Adrian!" "Sometimes I look at Butkus and I don"t think he"s a normal canine." "" " What do you think he is?" "" " I don"t know." "He just don"t look like a regular dog to me sometimes when I look inside there." "Earlier today I was down at A$pollo Creed's palatial gym, and, as usual, the champion was not at a loss for words about Rocky Balboa." "I know a lot ofpeople wanna see me in a rematch with a timid fellow called the Italian Stallion." "But this man does not have the honour to meet me in the ring." "Or is it Scallion?" " What is your name?" " Balboa did officially retire." "The bum's hidin'." "He doesn't wanna face me." " He's scared." " There's more here than meets the eye." "You've been under scrutiny since that split-decision victory." "A$ lot of reporters, A$pollo, including me, thought it was an even draw." "That's your opinion, but now I'm ready to have a rematch, to prove that this lucky club fighter does not have the skill" "to last five minutes in the ring with a superior athlete." "The man's runnin', he's hidin'." "He doesn't wanna face me." "So I say to you, Rocky Balboa, that I want the A$merican people to know," "I want the world to know that I'm ready to meet you anywhere." "A$ny place, any time, I will meet and defeat this so-called fighter, the Italian Stallion, if the man only has the guts to give me a call." "Call me collect." "Call me, Balboa!" "This would be a legitimate rematch, the boxer against the puncher." "Everyone wants to see them back in the ring." "But there's only one problem.." "where is Rocky Balboa?" "Ugly bum!" "You know, I was thinking that..." "I ain"t supposed to do no commercials and" "I ain"t supposed to work in no meat house." "I"m supposed to be a fighter." "But you gave that up." "I think I"m becoming" a nobody again, too." "" " In whose eyes?" "Not mine." "" " In mine." "In here." "" " We"ll get by." "" " That"s just it." "I don"t want just to get by the hard way, you know?" "I want you to have good things." "I want the kid to have good things." "We"lI have "em." "I just think we need "em now, don"t you?" "Rocky, please..." "You don"t have to prove anything." "Adrian, it"s all I know." "I don"t want you to do it." "It"s all I know." "You know," "I never asked you to stop bein" a woman, you know?" "Please, I"m askin" you, please..." "don"t ask me to stop bein" a man." "Please." "I think we oughta knock his block off." "" " Absolutely." " Rocky... I"m sorry." "Let"s do it." "Apollo!" "Has a site been chosen for the rematch?" "It will be in the Philadelphia Spectrum, cos I want this man"s home town to see this." "I want all of Philadelphia, all of America, the whole world to see me destroy this man after two short rounds." "After this fight he"s gonna have to donate what"s left of his body to science." "Rocky, what do you think about the fight taking place in the Spectrum?" "" " Well, I"m very happy about that." "" " Why?" "Well, it"s only about ten minutes from my house." "Apollo, people say that you lost the first fight, a victim of the southpaw jinx." "" " Did fighting a left--hander throw you off?" "" " Southpaw jinx nothin"!" "I took the fight too lightly and this man was just plain lucky." "But this time you all will see the real Apollo Creed." "The world"s gonna see the real Apollo Creed." "Lightnin" fast and hard to catch." "No playin", no jivin" -- just business." "Rocky, do you think you have a chance this time against Apollo?" "I don"t know." "He looks pretty mad." "" " Me and Mick, we"re gonna try our best." "" " His lungs he"s gonna punch out." "" " Now, who"s that?" "Al Capone?" "" " I would sweat you." "Look here, a lot of people may not like me, and that"s OK." "But come November, Apollo Creed will provide the ultimate gala spectacle, on Thanksgiving, in front of this man"s home crowd." "I"m gonna drop him like a bad habit." "Rocky, your pay is substantial." "What are you gonna do with the money?" "The first thing I gotta do is I gotta pay the rent, you know." "And then I made this list on the way over." "I was just thinkin" of things to do." "I"d like to get a couple of hats and a motorcycle and a couple of quarts of perfume for Adrian -- she likes to smell good." "Some Muppet toys -- you know, Ernie and Big Bird and that frog." "" " What"s his name?" "Kermit or somethin"?" "" " I don"t know." "I thought maybe a statue for the church, and a snow--cone machine for you, Paulie." "" " You like snow cones, don"t you?" "" " Yeah." "Rocky, got anything derogatory to say about the champ?" "Derogatory..." "Yeah." "He"s great." "How about some clowning shots, Apollo?" "Does this look like a circus to you, man?" "Come November, you"re mine." "" " He"s very upset." "" " Ah, well." "See how smooth he moves there?" "" " See how he pumps that jab in your eye?" "" " Yeah." "You got guts to go back in the ring with him, kid." "Thanks a lot, Mick." "You see, your style"s too easy to figure out." "Left--handed fighters, they"re the worst." "They lead with their face mostly." "Tryin" to throw that big left." "Right"s no damn good." "They oughta outlaw southpaws." "Why didn"t you tell me this before?" "I didn"t wanna hurt your feelings." "Now, look." "To pull this miracle off, you gotta change everything." "You gotta learn to be a right--handed fighter." "This"ll confuse Apollo and it"ll protect that bad eye." "" " I can"t learn how to fight right--handed." "" " What"s can"t?" "There ain"t no can"ts!" "There"s no can"ts." "and that"ll make history, but first you gotta get speed." "Demon speed." "Speed"s what we need." "We need greasy, fast speed!" "Now, I"ll show ya a trick how to get some speed in them legs." "" " Do you have to wear that sweatshirt?" " lt brings me luck, you know?" "You know what it brings?" "It brings flies." "I want you to try -- listen to me." "I want you to try to chase this little chicken." "What do I gotta chase that for?" "It"s embarrassing." "First, because I said so." "Second, because chicken--chasin" is how we always used to train in the old days." "You catch this thing, you can catch greased lightning." "Ready?" "Well, I"d rather eat it than chase it." "It ain"t very mature." "Neither are you very mature!" "Listen, get this thing." " l"m a fighter." "I ain"t a farmer." "" " Come on at it!" "Go on and get him!" "Get him!" "Come on!" "What"s the matter with ya?" "Get him!" "Pick him up!" "Pull him round!" "What"s the matter?" "Are you standin" still or somethin"?" "Speed!" "Speed!" "Can"t you catch a little chicken?" "Come on!" "Move your tail!" "You look like a girl out there." "What"s the matter with ya?" "I feel like a Kentucky fried idiot." "Wake up, will ya?" "Come on!" "Give it." "Give it!" "Yo, Rock." "What"s the matter with my sister?" "Well, I wish you"d go talk to her." "Adrian don"t like this none." "She"s started cryin"." "" " She don"t like me fighting"." "" " What"s with this domestic stuff?" "Tend to the business, will ya?" "Jab that till it hurts!" "400 times without stopping." "Do you hear me?" "400 times." "" " I wanna use my other arm." "" " If you do, I"m gonna chop it off." " ls that clear?" " l"ll figure somethin"." "I wish you would, Paulie." "I appreciate it." "I"m sorry." "Are you finished?" "Can we go to work?" "That would be nice." "Now, hit that bag." "Hit it." "Jab it till it hurts." "Go ahead!" "" " Three... four..." "" " I want 400 high ones." "" " Go!" "" " What was that?" "Seven or eight?" "One, two." "One, two." "Come on." "Turn it over." "Snap it." "Come on." "Dig it!" "All right, pick it up." "Come on." "Pick "em up." "Faster!" "Come on!" "Faster!" "Time!" "Time!" "Get up!" "Get me another one, all right?" "" " Ease up on these sparring" partners." "" " You just get me another, man." "Time!" "What"s the matter?" "That bag too fast for ya?" "You"re gonna pound that sass right out of him." "Last time we shoulda won, but this time you"re gonna be scary, kid." "You"re gonna be a greasy, fast, Italian monster!" "You"re gonna eat lightning!" "You"re gonna crap thunder!" "We"lI have to put you in a cage, kid." "" " Let"s take a break, all right?" "" " Break?" "What break?" "Where are you goin"?" "We"re not finished." "Hey, I said where the hell you goin"?" "Speed!" "Speed!" "Catch that punk!" "Speed!" "Speed!" "Can"t you catch that little squirt?" "Can"t you?" "Get the lead out!" "Move!" "Fast!" "You look dead." "If you"re gonna catch that little speedball, you"re gonna catch Creed easy." "Come on!" "Move!" "Right." "Time!" "Hey, dead ass." "Get over here." "Hey, are you sick, kid?" "Kid, what"s the matter with you?" "" " Nothin"." "" " Let me tell you somethin", kid." "Now, for a 44--minute fight, you gotta train hard for 44,000 minutes." "44,000." "That"s ten weeks." "That"s ten hours a day." "You listenin"?" "And you ain"t even trained one." "I don"t know what the hell you"re waiting" for." "What are you waitin" for?" "I don"t know." "Suit yourself." "" " Yo, Rocky." "" " Hey, yo, Paulie." "How you doin"?" "I"m worried about you. I"ve been watchin"." "Your head ain"t screwed on right." "Nah, come on. I"m doin" OK." "You know, I"ve been thinking." "Would you like to work in my corner?" "Wanna get involved in this fight?" "" " What?" "Watchin" you get murdered?" "" " Oh, come on. I"m doin" OK." "My sister got you so guilty, you"re running" all over the place." "" " She"ll be all right." " lt ain"t all right." "Hey, Paulie, it"s OK, all right?" " lt"s not OK." "" " Just leave Adrian alone, all right?" "Yo, Adrian!" "Where are ya?" "" " Paulie." "" " Yeah, Paulie." "What the hell you doin"?" "" " What do you mean?" "" " What the hell you doin"?" "" " About what?" "" " About messin" up that guy over there." "Don"t start. I"m just trying to keep him safe." "Did I teach you how to do that?" "Ditchin" a guy when he needs your help?" "" " I can"t believe my ears." "" " You didn"t teach me anything, Paulie." "" " And I never hurt Rocky." "" " You"re messing" up his brain real bad." "" " That"s not what I"m doing." "" " Yeah, don"t tell me!" "" " He"s gonna get hurt because of you!" " lt"s not true." "" " Don"t say that!" " l"m sayin" it." "" " Come across and tell him it"s all right." "" " If he goes blind, you walk away." "I can"t." "I love him." "You don"t!" "What are you doin"?" "What are you doin"?" "What"s wrong?" "Adrian, what"s the matter?" "Come on." "Where are your guts?" "What"s your problem, Mick?" " My problem?" "" " Yeah." "You got the problem, kid." "You got a ticker problem." "What"s the matter?" "You got nothin" left inside?" "Cos you"re training" like a damn bum, you know that?" "" " Bum?" "" " A bum." "Maybe you"re right." "Maybe I ain"t got it no more." "All right." "Then don"t you waste my time no more." "You hear that?" "Go away!" "Go back to the docks where you belong." "You go back to bein" a two--bit nothin"!" "But don"t you ever come back here again, because I"m too old to waste my time tryin" to train a no--good loser like you, you bum!" "Your wife"s sick." "Mr Balboa?" "I"m Dr Cooper." "The baby is fine, even though it"s a month premature." "" " What is it?" " lt"s a boy." "Holy smoke." "I didn"t know she could do it." "How"s Adrian?" "Where is Adrian?" "She"s had complications." "Like what?" "She was haemorrhaging when she was brought in." "The premature delivery was most likely caused by strain of overwork, and the sudden loss of blood has caused her to slip into a coma." "Adrian, it"s me." "They said outside you"re very sick, but I..." "I don"t wanna believe that." "Maybe you"re just tired, you know." "Don"t worry about nothin"." "You just sleep as long as you want, OK?" "And I"m gonna be here when you wake up." "Let"s go see the kid." "No." "We gotta see him together." "It"s OK." "We gotta see him together." "Mr Balboa, visiting hours are over." "Can"t I stay?" "I"ll be quiet." "I"m sorry." "Hospital rules." "I can"t do any more of this watching" stuff." "Do you have a chapel?" "Yes, we do." "Good night." "Hi, Rock." "That Adrian... she"s a good girl." "Me, you know, I"m sorry for both of ya." "Well... there"s nothin" I can do, is there?" "Except... I"d like to tell you somethin" once, and then I ain"t gonna say it again." "Well, Rocky, you got another shot." "It"s a second shot." "At the..." "I don"t know, the biggest title in the world." "And you"re gonna be swapping" punches with the most dangerous fighter in the world." "And just in case, you know, your brain ain"t workin" so good, all this happens pretty soon." "And you ain"t ready." "You"re nowhere near in shape." "So I say, you know, for God"s sake, why don"t you stand up and fight this guy hard, like you done before?" "That was beautiful!" "But don"t lay down in front of him like this!" "Like a..." "I don"t know, like some kind of mongrel or somethin"." "Cos he"s gonna kick your face in pieces." "You know that?" "That"s right." "This guy just don"t wanna win, you know." "He wants to bury ya." "He wants to humiliate ya." "He wants to prove to the whole world that it was nothin" but some kind of a freak the first time out." "He said you"re a one--time lucky bum." "Well, now." "I don"t..." "I don"t wanna get mad in a biblical place like this, but I think you"re a hell of a lot more than that, kid." "A hell of a lot." "But, no, wait a minute." "If you wanna blow it, if you wanna blow this thing, dammit, I"m gonna blow it with ya." "Do you wanna stay here?" "I"ll stay with you." "I"ll stay with you." "I"ll stay and pray." "What have I got to lose?" "It"s gonna be OK." ""There ain"t no other trail to the ranch, or no shorter one."" ""Oh, yes, there is" said Marvel."" ""When I was a kid, I helped my old man trail some cattle up from the border."" "Can you hear me, Adrian?" "Keep listening." ""After breakfast, Bruce watched the party get away on the chase."" ""He saw Cora and Kay and Bud start up the valley 1 4 minutes ahead of the others."" ""At the last minute, the girl..."" "Well, I just wrote this thing for you, Adrian." "I don"t know... maybe you"ll like it." "I"ll just read it to ya, cos..." ""Remember when we was on ice skates" "And I thought you were supposed to be great?"" ""But I kept givin" you lip And you kept tryin" to slip" "So I could catch you?"" ""That was our first date And after that every day was great."" ""So now I want you to know" "That wherever you go" "Atlantic City or in the snow" "Don"t worry about a thing" "Cos as long as I got this ring I"ll always be there to catch you."" "I knew you"d come back." "Thank God." "Anybody want a refill?" "Adrian, it cost six bucks a bottle." "" " I don"t need that." "I ain"t drinkin" now." "" " So, you haven"t seen the baby?" "" " I was waitin" to see it together." "" " I seen the kid." "The kid"s a winner." "He"s got forearms like you, Mickey." "Here he is now." "Look." "" " There"s your mommy." "" " Oh, baby!" "is that it?" "" " I can"t believe it." "He"s ours?" "" " Yeah." "" " He"s really ours?" "" " Thank you." "Come on." "You done all the work." "Adrian, I can"t believe you done this." "" " Believe me, we did." "" " Oh, no." "He ain"t got a name." "" " What do you wanna call him?" "" " Paulie"s a great name." "Yeah, Paulie"s a pretty good name." "" " What about after the father?" "" " Rocky Junior?" "" " Come on." "You really wanna do that?" "" " Yes." "Adrian, he"s the best I ever seen." "You really done good." "You look so tired." "Why don"t you go get some sleep?" "Oh, no, no." "I feel great." "Listen, I been thinkin", if you don"t want me mixing" with Creed no more, we"ll make out some other kind of way, you know." "There"s one thing I want you to do for me." "Come here." "" " What?" "" " Win." "" " Win." "" " What are we waitin" for?" "Take us!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Keep movin"!" "Faster." "Pick "em up!" "That"s it." "" " Speed!" "Speed!" "" " Come on!" " 49!" "" " One more!" "Come on, man!" "44... 44... 40!" "Come on!" "Push!" "Don"t give up!" "Get that olive oil out of ya!" "Push!" "Push!" "Push!" "Again!" "Left!" "Right!" "That"s speed!" "Speed!" "Speed!" "Speed!" "Good night." "Hey, Rocky!" "Come on." "Good evening." "This is Bill Baldwin speaking to you from the Spectrum in Philadelphia, the site of Superfight ll, with Rocky Balboa, the challenger, and Apollo Creed, the world champion." "My sidekick and partner again tonight " " Stu Nahan." "For those watching tonight"s telecast, we think you"re gonna see a real great battle in every sense of the word." "Don"t worry about nothin"." "It"s OK." "I gotta go." "Adrian, I wish the doctor"d let you go to this fight." "Me too." "You"re the man." "You"re number one." "The champ." "The best of all time." "The girls love ya." "Men, old people love ya." "Young people love ya." "You"re the best." "You"re the man." "And he"s yours." "He"s yours." "He"s yours." "This bum shouldn"t even be in the same ring." "I want you to show him who you are tonight." "Stick him." "" " You help with the baby, right?" " l"ll take care of everything"." "" " OK, cos you"re in charge." "" " You"re gonna be late for your own fight." "" " Everything"s gonna be fine." "" " Maybe I"d better go fight now." "" " I love you." "" " I love you too." "" " Punch his lungs out." "" " Adrian, I wish you could go." "The doctor said no." "" " Take care." "" " Good luck." "The champion has let it be known to the press and radio that he is in the best shape of his career." "And Rocky Balboa, I know, is a 4--1 underdog." "He"s a street brawler from Philadelphia." "But can he repeat that incredible performance of ten months ago?" "And, you know, he took a real beating at the hands of the champion." "Carmine!" "Hey, yo, Father Carmine!" "Hey, Father Carmine, are you home?" "Hey, yo, Father Carmine!" " Chi é?" " lt"s me, Rocky Balboa." "I"m goin" to the fight, but I was wonderin" if you could do me a small favour." " Ma sicuro." "Che favore?" "Che?" " lt"s about the fight." "Now I got the family and the baby." "I was wonderin" if you could throw down a blessin", so if I get beat up tonight it won"t be too bad." "Could you do somethin" like that?" "Thanks a lot, Father." "I gotta go." "I"m so late." "See you in church." "Take care." "" " Hey, Rock." "" " Good luck, son." "" " Yo, Mick!" "" " Run, or I"ll break your head!" "Where ya been?" "Ya lost your brain?" "" " We got a fight, remember that?" " l"m sorry. I"m here." "Get dressed, will ya?" "Stu, there are many rumours about this fight." "The most obvious is a desire for A$pollo to draw first blood, to end it quickly." "This would prove that the last fight was a fluke." "Come on, lightning, thunder!" "Hurricane!" "" " Get him." " l"m gonna get him." "" " Gonna get him." "" " He"s ours!" "It"s time, kid." "OK, let"s do it." "All right, I"m ready." "" " I think I"m starting" to get a headache." "" " No, you are in perfect working" condition." "" " You are perfect." "" " You look good, too." "And you look perfect." "" " Hey, Mick." "" " Yeah." "In case I don"t get a chance, I just wanna say I"m gonna be tryin" hard for you." "" " Thank you." "" " Ain"t this robe nice?" "It"s better than last year." "Remember that baggy one?" "" " This is gorgeous. lt"s perfect." "" " Yeah, it"s real cute." "I like it." "Rocky Balboa heading toward the ring." "Yes, sir." "Rocky Balboa, known to millions as the Italian Stallion." "Making his way to the ring." "Why this fighter of limited ability has gained such popularity is such a mystery." "Rocky Balboa." "The folks at the Spectrum are beginning to chant his name." "" " He has an awful lot of backers here." "" " Balboa is wearing a black and gold robe." "He wore a red one the last time from that meat--packing plant." "Or from the high school he never graduated from!" "31 years of age." "There he is shaking hands with the referee, Lou Filippo." "And we"re waiting now for the champion to come into the ring." "It"s certainly packed with Rocky"s people." "I"ve never seen so many Italians in one place!" "Hey, hey." "You said that." "I didn"t say that." "" " These people are for you!" "" " I appreciate it." "" " Are you ready in here?" "" " I think so." "Tonight"s our night." "By the sound of the crowd, the champion is just now coming into the Spectrum." "And the champion, Apollo Creed." "And he looks a little more determined this time than he did the last time." " lt"s Apollo." "" " Who"d you expect?" "I was hopin" he wouldn"t show." "The champ of all time!" "Now the champion is climbing into the ring." "Very determined--looking." "Very serious right now." "Rocky doesn't look too confident." "Apollo Creed: the master of disaster, the best of all time!" "You"re goin" down, man." "You"re goin" down." "Don"t let it bother ya, kid." "" " Would it bother you?" "" " Yeah." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!" "Welcome to the Philadelphia Spectrum!" "This is your main event of the evening:" "1 4 rounds for the heavyweight championship of the world!" "In the black corner, the challenger, weighing 202 pounds," "from the great fighting city of Philadelphia." "The Italian Stallion," "Rocky Balboa!" "And in the red corner, weighing 220 pounds," "a champion who needs no introduction anywhere in the civilised world, the true master of disaster, the undefeated heavyweight champion of the world," "the one, the only..." "Apollo Creed!" "Referee Lou Filippo will give the instructions." "OK, I"m gonna give you the instructions now, and I expect you to follow "em." "Watch your low punches and your kidney punches." "Watch your rabbit punches." "In case of a knockdown, you go to the corner" "..and stay there until I tell you to come out." "OK, boys." "Let"s have a good fight." "You"re goin" down." "Good luck to you." "" " He"s still upset." "" " Who cares?" "Protect that eye." "No matter what happens, don"t go back to fighting" southpaw till I tell ya." "Get him." " Good luck." "" " He"ll try to kill you quick." "If you get through this first round, then he"s ours." "Show him who you are." "Rocky Balboa prays in his corner." "The champion dancing over in his." "We"re just seconds away from the fight of the century:" "Superfight ll." "And there"s the bell." "The champion comes over in a hurry and throws a couple of rights and lefts." "He starts to take command early here." "Moves his feet along the side of the ring." "Rocky"s holding that right hand." "He"s fighting right--handed!" "The southpaw from Philly is fighting right--handed!" "Break that damn jab!" "Protect that eye!" " ls that all you got?" " Break it up there." "You ready to lay down?" "A good right hand, another and another thrown by the champion." "Three good right hands at Balboa." "And Balboa coming back out." "A left and a right to the head." "Balboa appears to be getting hit often, but he seems to be in pretty good condition." "A hard right hand thrown by the champion." "Another right." "Balboa is in trouble now." "Taking rights and lefts as the champion begins to open up." " lt was a tremendous right hand." "" " Balboa is down!" "Get back." "We see Apollo hit that bad left eye from the first fight." "The eye that was cut the last time." "Balboa getting up." "" " Go get him, Rocky!" "" " Go after him, kid!" "Go after him!" "And the champion starts to move in again." "Going right, left." "He"s taking those punches pretty well." "And now Balboa is coming right back!" "Right out of the ring." "Coming out now." "Balboa"s tagged." "Left and right combinations by the champion." "Another left." "" " There"s the bell!" "" " There"s the end of the round." "There"s a lot of bad blood between these two." "Good round." "I can"t believe it." "He broke my nose again." "Balboa has gotta be in great shape to withstand that butchery." "That"s just what it is." "It"s plain old butchery." "Did the switching" bother you?" "You shoulda had him." "You can"t be hurt." "You follow?" "You can"t be hurt, cos you are too tough." "Don"t let up on him." "This man is dangerous." "Dangerous?" "I'm dangerous." "" " That guy is crazy." "" " No." "Listen, he"s only a man." "You can beat him, because you"re a tank." "You"re a greasy, fast, 200--pound Italian tank." "" " Go through him!" "Run over him!" " l"m a tank. I"m gonna get him." "" " This is it, man!" " Here we go." "Round two." "Round two." "The champion comes back out." "Starting with a left and left and left." "Left to the chin, left to the head." "Coming around now." "He"s got that right hand cocked." "He"s waiting for that precise moment..." "There it is!" "But here comes Balboa!" "You can"t hurt me." "He can"t hurt me!" "No way!" "Break it up." "Break it up." "Break it up." "Break clean." "You"re too slow!" "Man, you"re too slow!" "Get your cameras ready." "Watch this." "Watch this." "He"s goin" down." "Here it comes!" "Rocky!" "Get up, Rock!" "Get up!" "Balboa for the second time is down." "Struggling to get up." "Don"t get up." "Just stay down there." "Just stay down there, chump!" "" " I told you!" "" " Beautiful!" "Protect that eye, kid!" "Get at it!" "The body, the body, the body!" "You"re a tank, kid!" "I told you!" "I told you!" "And here comes the champion." "Here it is." "A left and a right and he"s got him back in the corner!" "But here comes Balboa again!" "Where does he get that stamina?" "He"s got the champion trapped in the corner." "And he"s breaking left and right." "Keep it up!" " l"m standing here." "" " A great second round." "The round is over, but they"re taunting each other." "Everybody in the audience better get ready for World War lll." "I ain"t goin" down no more." "Attaboy!" "Go get him!" "Come on, kid!" "The champion again with a combination of lefts and rights to the head." "" " That was another round for Creed." "" " Creed keeps piling up the points, but..." "Get him!" "Hit him!" "Just hit him!" "Another round for Apollo Creed." "Here comes Balboa again." "Lefts and rights to the midsection." "And those hurt." "Pound the body!" "He"s won another round." "He now begins to taunt Balboa again." "Get out!" " l"m gonna give that round to Balboa." "" " You wonder what"s on Creed"s mind." "He"s lost his first round." "Go for it, Rock!" "Balboa is on his way." "Hands up!" "Hands up!" "Now, just stick and move!" "This man is breakin" you up inside!" "Now, stick and move!" "Lightning!" "Thunder!" "Hit him back!" "I thought he took a beating ten months ago, Stu, but tonight it"s twice as bad!" "The left eye is closed." "Now bust him, understand?" "" " Stay away from him." "" " Don"t let him breathe!" "Get him!" "Balboa"s taking another beating in the corner." "Another round for the champion." "You got him beat on points." "You understand?" "Stick and move!" "Don"t go for the knockout!" "" " He"s gonna fall." "" " He"s breakin" you up inside!" "" " You can"t do much more with that." "" " I know what I"m doin"." "" " You get in trouble one more time..." "" " Please don"t stop nothin"!" "Now, listen, let me stop it." "" " You"re gettin" killed!" " lt"s my life." "Apollo ahead." "All he has to do is stay away and he retains the title." "" " Just stick and move." " lt ain"t gonna be like last time." "" " Switch now to southpaw anyway." "" " No tricks." "I ain"t switching"." "" " Yeah, but you"re fading" out." "" " I don"t need no tricks." "" " I ain"t switching"." "" " You gotta plan." "You gotta switch." "He"s ready." "Believe me." "Don"t go for the knockout." "You got him burned!" "They come to the centre of the ring for the fifteenth and final round." "" " You"re goin" down." "" " No." "No way." "Here we go." "Let"s see what Creed does here now." "Creed has started to move in on Balboa." "He"s going for the knockout." "The champion comes out jabbing with that left hand." "" " The champion is beating Balboa." "" " Now!" "Now!" "Balboa just nearly floored the champ!" "A hook caught the exhausted champ off guard!" "Creed doesn"t know where he is!" "It"s blind instinct." "Balboa is staggering from exhaustion -- but a right to the head of the champion." "Another right, and a left." "He"s got him into the corner." "Stay away from him!" "He"s got this thing won if he stays away, but now it is Creed coming back." "" " Creed with a left hand." "" " Go for it!" "What"s keepin" these two guys up?" "A tremendous moment." "Now!" "Here comes Balboa, but the champion back with another left." "Get away from him!" "A right hand!" "A right hand!" "It"s Creed!" "Now it"s Balboa!" "Now it"s Creed!" "What a tremendous fight!" "They"re standing toe to toe." "I don"t know why the champion is fighting Balboa"s fight." "Go, Rocky!" "Go for it!" "A tremendous left to the head." "A left." "A left." "One!" "Two!" "Creed will retain the title!" "If neither gets up, it"s a draw, and Creed will win the title automatically!" "" " Four!" "" " Get up, man!" "Get on your feet!" "Five!" "" " Balboa reaches for another!" "" " Get up, Rock!" "Six!" "" " Now the champ is trying to get up!" "" " Seven!" "Get up, Rocky!" "Eight!" "Nine!" "The champ is going." "And he"s down!" "Ten!" "He made it!" "Rocky Balboa has shocked the world!" "He is the new heavyweight champion of the world!" "Ladies and gentlemen, in a stunning upset, scoring a win by knockout," "the new heavyweight champion of the world..." "Yo, Creed." "Good luck." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I can"t believe this is happenin"." "And I just wanna say thanks to Apollo." "For fighting" me, Apollo." "I wanna thank Mickey for training" me." " We love you, Rock!" "" " Yeah, and I love youse, too." "Most of all I wanna thank God." "Except for my kid bein" born, this is the greatest night in the history of my life." "I just wanna say one thing..." "to my wife who"s home." "Yo, Adrian!" "I did it!" "I love you." "I love you."

"Hope you stick in the mud." "God, boy, you stink as a driver!" " Hey." "Hold it, fellas." "Wait." " Quiet!" " Quiet down." " No, you're kidding." "No." "No." "I gotta" " I " "I'm with my family tonight." "I'm with my family." "Forget about it." "No, they're - These men aren't going out again." "I want you to punch us out." "I don't wanna come in." "I got an unbreakable date." "With my wife." "My wife." "With my wife, you moron." "My wife!" "Jesus Christ." "The Palisades caved in." " All night we gotta work." " Oh, come on." " No way." "Forget about it." "Forget about it." "No way!" "Hey, Chick, there is no way we're gonna work tonight." "Right." " Bravo!" "Last one out's a rotten egg!" " Shh." "Oh, Tony, don't yell at the kids." "I don't want anything to go wrong." "Your mother's terribly nervous." "Get in the car." "Don't yell at the kids." "Please." "Don't yell." "Everybody takes it out - Maria, get in that car." " Angelo, where are your shoes?" " Get in the car." "Come on, Maria." "You can't go without your shoes." "Here." "Hey, Tony, bring another sweater too." "A heavier sweater." " Maria, have you got your pajamas?" " I've got the pajamas." "Okay." "Oh, Tony, get Angelo's bicycle from in back too, will ya?" " I don't think he heard ya." " Okay." "I'll get it." "I'll get it." "Never mind." "Come on." "Get in there." "Sit down." "All right." " Where's Mom?" " Sit back in the seat." " Where's Mom?" " She's gone to get Angelo's bicycle." "Here." "You get the back." "Got it?" "Okay." "How about it?" "All right?" " Yeah." " Watch your fingers." " Will it close?" " Wheel." "It's that wheel." "It's " " Keep the trunk " " Oh, well." "That's all right." " I'll drive." " Okay." "Get in the car, kids." " All right." "Watch your fingers." " Everybody in now." " I don't wanna go." " Get in the backseat." " Come on." "Give me a kiss." " Okay, Mom." "We're all set." " Okay, okay." " Bye, Mom." "Get your fingers in." "Good-bye." "Get your fingers." " Wait a minute, Mother." "Mom, listen." "If anything happens " "Anything." "I mean, if they're impossible, I want you to call me." "I don't care if it's day or night." "Do you understand?" " Yes." "All right." " You hear what I'm saying, Ma?" " Yes." " Because I don't want any slipups on this." "I don't want you getting chickenshit and not calling me." " Darling, I can take care of them." " I don't want you saying..." ""Mabel's having a wonderful time." "I don't want to disturb her"... while one of my kids is lying there bleeding." " All right." " Okay?" " All right." " All right." "Take off." "Let's go." "Don't break my head." "Sit down." "Everybody back." "Everybody back." "Okay." "All right." "Get back." "Sit back." " Everybody in?" " Go." "All right." "Turn your wheel." "Okay." " Mom." " Okay." "Okay." "All right." "Wait a minute." "Okay." "Go." "All right." "All right." "Go." " Go." "Good-bye." "Go." " Go." " Bye, Mom." "That's it." "Go." "Shouldn't have let 'em go." "I don't know." "I shouldn't have let 'em go." "I shouldn't have let 'em go." "Damn." "I shouldn't have let 'em go." "Hey." "Easy, easy, easy." "Keep walking." "Keep moving." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Vito, go out there and get 'em started." "I wanna talk to Eddie." "What's wrong?" "You worried about somethin', Nick?" "Yeah, yeah." "He's got somethin' on his mind." "Why don't you go." "I want to talk to him." " Okay." "But if you need a good ear." " Right." "Thanks." " Come on." "That's right." "I promised her on my life I'd be home tonight." "I promised her that this night was gonna be a love night, a special night, somethin'." "I didn't know this goddamn thing was gonna happen." "Water main in the middle of the night." "Bet you didn't even call her." "I can't call her." "How am I gonna call her?" "She already sent the kids to her mother's." "She'll climb the walls, break dishes, scream." "Mabel's a delicate, sensitive woman." "Mabel's not crazy." "She's unusual." "She's not crazy, so don't say she's crazy." "This woman cooks, sews, makes the bed, washes the bathroom." "What the hell is crazy about that?" "I don't understand what she's doing." "I admit that." "But I think I know." "She's mad at me." " Well, call her." " You see, there's something wrong with her, Eddie." " Call her." " She's not like a normal person." "This woman, you know, she could get hit by a car... burn down the house." "Jesus Christ." "I don't know what she can do." "Hi, baby." "Listen, I'm in trouble down here." "The" " The water main downtown here burst." "The thing busted." "The whole thing is busted... and there's water all over the place." "So " "I'm down here now." "I love ya." "It's fine, Nick." "Please believe me." "It's fine." "You all right?" "Yeah." "Baby, I'm gonna make this up to ya." "I'm not goin' to work tomorrow." "I'm gonna take the day off tomorrow, and we're gonna be together tomorrow." "All day." "All right, sweetheart?" "Yeah." "Okay, sweetheart." "You're my girl." "Hey, Nick!" "Come on, Nick!" "Come on!" "Get on there." "Come on!" "Sometimes it looks that way, and sometimes it doesn't." " Hee." " Hi." "Hi." "Hey, you know Nick stood me up tonight?" "After I got the kids over at my mother's and everything." " Why do I care?" "My name is..." "Garson Cross." " Yeah, I know." " You" " You know?" "I know, Garson." "You got a light?" " Sure." " And a drink?" "Sure." "I just got paid." "I'm loaded." "What's your pleasure?" "Seagram's." "Seagram's and what?" "Seven Crowns." "Seagram's and Seven Crowns and what?" "In the bottle." "Bartender, give me a glass of ice." " There we go." "Over here?" " Put it right there." " And, uh, take that Seagram Seven..." " Seagram Seven." " and pour the lady a drink." " Pour the lady a drink." " How's that?" " Keep goin'." " Keep goin'?" " Keep goin'." "Okay." " Cheers." " Cheers." "Ah." "Boy, you were thirsty." "Oh, I thought they were yours." "?" "I get no kick from champagne ?" "?" "Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all ?" "?" "So then tell me how can it be true ?" "?" "That I get a kick out of you ?" " Sing." " I can't sing." " Sing." " I can't sing." "?" "I get no kick from a plane ?" "?" "Flying too high with some guy in the sky is my?" "Listen." "Why don't we go to someplace where it's a little quieter?" "I, uh " "I'd take you to my place, but, uh... it's not very tidy." "Could we go to your place?" "We could get some fresh air and get out of this smoke." "Why don't we go to your place?" " Hmm?" " Yes." "Yes." "Okay." "Why don't we just do that." " What do I owe you, bartender?" " $3.50." "Good luck." "Are you all right, sweetheart?" "Oh, please don't be sick." "Just lean on me." "Can you open your eyes?" "There you are." "You're up now." " This is the place, right?" " Mm-hmm." "What " "Hey, cut it out." "Listen, buddy." "Knock it off." "Hey, don't!" "Put" " Put me " "Cut it out." "Let me go." "Let... go." "Funny thing." "Just a funny thing." "Nick!" "No, uh, Garson." "Garson Cross." "I'm the one that brought you home last night." "You don't have to get up." "It's, uh... pretty early in the morning." "I" " I'm sorry if I disturbed ya." "I" " I like to get up early in the morning, walk around and talk to myself." "Are you in there?" "Who" " Who's Nick?" "You're not married, are ya?" "I'm gonna have to leave in a minute now." "Listen, if this Nick fella's on your mind... and you consider me some kind of a threat to him... or if you're trying to punish him with me or me with him, forget it!" "I never met the man." "And don't blame yourself for me if that's what you're doin'." "Are you in the shower?" "Okay, as long as the shower's runnin', then you're all right." "At least I hope you're all right." " What's the matter?" "I'm not in the mood for games, Nick." "Nick Longhetti." "Mabel Longhetti." "Want a cup of coffee?" "I'm gonna get a cup of coffee." "I just don't understand that woman." "It's my fault." "Been divorced twice." "I just can't seem to keep a woman." "Mama?" "Well, what do you think of him?" "I mean, I know you can't like him." "He's not your son, but " "Mama!" "Kids?" "Kids!" "Kids, where are you?" "Nick." "Nick, where are my kids?" " Come on." " Hey." "It's cold out there." "Come on." " Nobody home, huh?" " She's home." "Yeah." "Mabel?" " Make yourselves at home." " Nick, can I get a glass of water?" "Yeah." "Eddie, help 'em make themselves at home." "Find a seat, fellas." "Make yourselves comfortable." "Mabel." " Hey, Nick, can I use a glass?" " Yeah." "What's the matter?" "Hey." "Hey." "Nothin'." " Who's with you?" " Everybody." " Did you eat?" " No." "Aw, Nick, you must be starving." "Mm-hmm." "Oh, I'll, uh " "I'll get somethin '." "I'll get somethin'." "I'll " "I'll be right out there." "Hey." "Come on, man." "Everything cool, Nick?" "What do you say, big man?" " All right?" " How's Mabel?" " Yeah." "Good." " Everything all right?" "Good." "Come on, fellas." "Sit down and relax." " She don't have one of her headaches?" " No." "Don't be silly." "Sit down." "Don't worry about it." "Let's go, fellas." "Make yourselves at home here." "Jimmy, would you please - the living room." "Hey, this is Mabel." "Come on out here, honey." "For " "You know everybody?" "This is Mabel." "For everybody." " Hi, Mabel." " Hi." "Hi." " Would you like some spaghetti?" " Spaghetti?" " Yeah, it's cool." " Do they all want spaghetti, Nick?" " Yeah." "Yeah." " How are you, Mabel?" " Oh." " Clancy, how are you?" " All right." " How are you?" "Oh." " How you feeling?" " Just fine." "Fine." "Fine." " All right." "All right." "God bless ya, darlin'." "All right." "That's enough." "Clancy, come on." " Hello, Mabel." "Hello, Bowman." "How are you there?" "Okay." "I'll go in the kitchen and get the spaghetti." " Come on, fellas." "Go inside, will ya?" " What the hell is the matter with you?" " Hey!" "Get out of this kitchen!" "Look at" " Look at your shoes, Eddie!" "They're full of mud." " Oh, come on." " Look at your feet." "There's mud all over your shoes." "Get out of here." "Hey, Eddie, put me down." "Come on." " Get out of here, and let me do some work." " Oh, okay." "And cut that out, Eddie!" "You want spaghetti?" " Spaghetti again?" " Yes." " Hold" " Hold" " Hold that." " I'm ready." " Hold that." " Nicky, did you get the wine?" " I'm ready." " What?" " Eddie, you got the wine on?" " Please." " Eddie!" " Hot stuff." "Wine's on." "All right." "Come on." " Ready with the sauce?" " Yeah." "A little bit at a time." "Hold" " Hold a minute." " You got a spoon?" " Oh, oh, oh, oh." " More." " Go ahead." "Do you need this spoon?" "Here." "A little more." "All right, that's good." " Okay." "Yeah." " All right." "Come on." "Bring it out." "Okay." " We got the wine, glasses." " I need something to put this on." " Huh?" " This is hot." " He's got the cutting board in there." " What?" "Gangway." "Hot stuff." " Hey." " Outta the way." "Hot stuff, hot stuff." "Sit down." "It doesn't make any difference." " Anywhere?" " Sit down, fellas." "We're ready." " I'm gonna sit here." " Down here, Billy." "Hot stuff." " Let's hear it for Gino." " Bravo, Gino." " Yeah, Gino!" " Bravo!" " Pass 'em down." " Comin' down." "Okay." "Here you go." " Whose idea was this?" " It was Nick's idea." "Everybody get bread down that end down there?" " Some sauce." " Billy, sauce." "I don't want no bread." "No." " What's your name?" " Help" " Help yourselves." " What's your name?" " You don't remember me?" "I was here three weeks ago with Nick." "We had dinner." " Bread?" " Veronica is my wife." "The kids were playing outside." "You don't remember that?" "I remember your wife." "I don't remember you." "Hey, Nick, guess what she is." ""Crazy."" " Want a beer?" " Sit down." " Who wants beer?" "Billy?" "Morton?" " No." "No, thanks." " Aldo?" "James?" " No, I'm drinking wine." "How's the sauce?" " What's your name?" " Terrific." "Grimaldi." "Vito Grimaldi." "A friend of Nick's." "Thanks." "Hey, pass the sauce." "Why not?" "Need a little more sauce, boys." "Give me the sauce." "I gotta play catch-up here." "I'm having trouble." "Billy." "Twirl it." "Use the spoon." "Twirl it against the spoon." " Like that?" " No." " Oh, man." "Come on." " Oh, no!" " Jesus Christ." " It's all over my shoes." " Christ's sake!" " Can't take you anyplace." "Shit." " Now eat it." "Go ahead and eat it." " Look at ya." "You want another plate?" " That's dirty." "Here." "Give him some more." " Please." " There." "That's good." "Here." "Here." " There." "Get rid of this." "Get rid of that." "Get rid of that." " Pass the cheese here." " Here's some more junk, man." "Whoo!" " Now, where was I?" " Take some cheese." " Cheese." " What's your name?" "Me?" "Oh, uh, uh, Morton." "Joseph." " Cheese?" " I'm Mabel." " How are you?" " All right." "How about you?" "I'll hold it." "And, uh, uh... next to you." " What" " What's your name?" " James Turner." " James Turner." " I work with Nick." "I'm Mabel Longhetti." "I live with Nick." "Take that." "And you - handsome." "Yeah." "You." "Billy." "Billy Tidrow." " Billy Tidrow." " Yeah." " Billy Tidrow." " Can I have some bread?" " Tidrow." " Tidrow." " Tidrow." " Tidrow." "Right." " Right." "Right." " And they call me Mighty Mouse." " Mickey Mouse." "Mighty Mouse." "Raise 'em." "Here's to everybody." "Welcome." "God bless you." "Um, eat a lot and live a long time." " Hey." "To Mabel." "To Mabel!" "Don't worry." "Aren't you gonna ask where the kids are?" "They're at your mother's." "How many kids do you have?" " Three." " Three." "Isn't that right, Nick?" " As far as I know." " I've got seven." " Seven?" " Seven." " Seven!" " Seven kids." " That's what he said." "Seven." "Handsome, how many you have?" "Me?" "I got a bunch of 'em." "Let's see." "I got Robert, I got William." "I got, uh, Mary." " Um " "I got Pee-Wee." "Um, I left one out." "Pee-Wee's 14." "There's one more somewhere." " Um, I got John." "That's a good Irish-Catholic boy, huh?" "He's a good somethin'." "You know, I've been noticing that the neighborhood has a lot more kids." "Did you notice that?" "All up and down the street." "All up and down." "Little kids, baby carriages, kids crawling'." "What is that when there's a lot of kids?" "Is that in the air?" " It's somewhere." " Hmm?" "I mean, you go eight, nine months, you don't see a kid." "A couple years pass by, never see a kid." "All of a sudden, I see a lot of baby carriages, a lot of babies." " I think it's in the air." " Excuse me." " No, the moon." " What?" "Yeah." "Remember when the two astronauts went up to the moon?" "They went and played golf." "They played golf." "So, some of the dust came down." " "Stronzium" or, uh " " Maybe the woman smell that." "The moon." "Ah, the moon." "No." "Listen, what I mean is you can go eight, nine months, you won't see a kid." " Well, it takes that long." " No." "I never see a kid a couple of years... all of a sudden I see a lot of baby carriages, a lot of babies." "A couple of 'em gotta be mine." "No, I think that's in the air." " Well, that'll be " " No, think back nine months ago." " There has to be some romance going on." " Oh, yeah." "I don't know." " It wasn't me." "No?" "I think it's in the air." " Oh, ho, ho, ho." " "In the air."" "Well, that is where it is." "Billy, where's that?" " How about that, Billy?" " They was really gettin' down." " Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo, Willie!" "Encore!" " Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" " Word, word, word." " Okay, okay." "Now a song from you, Billy Tidrow." "No, I can't sing." "I can't sing a note." "Well, come on and dance then." "Anybody can dance." "No, that ain't too cool." "I love this face." "I love that face." "Nick, this is what I call a really handsome face." " That's enough." " Okay." "Come on." "Let's dance." " Nah, nah, nah." " Look at this muscle." " That's enough." " I never saw such muscles." "I bet he doesn't fit in a suit." " Yeah, I fit." " Mabel, you had your fun." "That's enough." "Come on." "Come on." "Let's dance, Aldo." " Come on." " All right." "Everybody's tired." "That's enough." "Come on." "You wanna dance?" " No." " Um " " Vito Grimaldi." " Get your ass down!" "Hello." "Hi, Ma." "Hello, Mama!" "No, we're not doing anything." "We're just eating." "What's the matter?" "What do you feel?" "Where?" "In your abdomen?" "What does that mean?" "Did you call a doctor?" "Look, Ma." "Don't get stubborn about doctors." "It's my mother." "She's got a pain in her abdomen." "Hmm." "HO3-7399." "So call them." "Ma, I can't call them." "What am I gonna tell 'em?" "You gotta call 'em." "You gotta explain to 'em where the pain came from." "Ma, did you eat somethin' bad?" "You ate fish?" "You ate fish in a restaurant." "What restaurant?" "You ate fish at Hamburger Heaven." "What did you do that for, Ma?" "Uh, thank you for the dinner, Mabel." "It was very nice." "You're just like a baby." "You know that?" " Look, I'll be over." " See you later." " I'm comin' over." "I'll be right over." " Thanks for everything." "You want Mabel?" "Huh?" " All right." "I'll be over." " See you later, Nick." " All right, darling." "Comin' over." " See ya, Mabel." " Hey, listen." " See you later, Nick." " When your mother gets sick, boy..." " Take it easy." "it often comes to mind they're not gonna last forever." " Yeah." " Right." " I was trying to be nice." " Wacko!" " I like your friends." "I know it." "I'm a warm person." "I was " " I know that." " I'm not one of those stiffs that you like... with their noses up in the air." "Bung, bung." "With their noses up in the air." "Oh, oh, how awfully nice." "Oh." "Mmm." "Thank you." "Oh." "I know how to treat those guys." "I want them to feel " "I love those guys." "I love 'em." "I love anybody you bring in the house, Nick." " I know that!" " I want 'em to feel comfortable." "I want 'em to feel" " They just sit there like a bunch of" " I want to " "What in the hell are you talking about?" "You didn't do anything wrong." " It was just the way you was lookin' - - "Sit down, Mabel!"" " "Sit down!"" " Billy was looking at you this way." " He don't know you don't do any harm." "It's the way the guy looked at ya." "Here's the guy." "He's looking at you like this." "He don't know what to do." "This monkey don't know what to do." "He thinks you mean somethin'." "He don't know you don't mean it." "I don't mind you being a lunatic." "Nicky." "Not lunatic." "I didn't do anything wrong?" "What, Nicky?" "Nicky, tell me." "Just " "Nicky, don't be afraid to hurt my feelings." "Tell me what you want me to - how you want me to be." "I can be that." "I can be anything." "You tell me, Nicky." "Hi, Mom." "Hi, Pop." "What are you doing here?" " How did you get in here?" " Through the window." "Are Maria and Angelo here too?" "My mother?" "Everybody?" "Well, your father's trying to get a little sleep." "I mean, he's " "Should I let them in, or should I take the books and get out?" "Oh." " She goes crazy." " Tony, come here." " Is everything all right?" " Couldn't be better." "Come on in." "Come in and shut that door." "Oh, Nick." "I'm sorry to wake you up." "Really I am." "Where's Mabel?" " Bathroom." " Is she angry?" "No, I think she's washing." "Oh." "My " "They" " They worked you awfully hard last night, didn't they?" " Mm-hmm." " That was a heck of a long shift." "Mmm." "Well, I'll tell you." "I'll go make you a nice cup of hot coffee." "How about that?" " No, darling." "I'm gonna try and get some rest." " Hello, Ma." "Hello." "Hi." " Where are the kids?" " Uh, upstairs." " Why are they upstairs?" " Uh, books." "Uh, h-he had to come back " " Tony had to have his books." " Didn't we take all of that last night?" "We piled the whole car full of everything." "Could we have this discussion in the living room?" "Because I'm trying to get some sleep." "No offense, but I'd really like to get some sleep." "Sorry, sweetheart." "Guess what, Pop." "I just learned how to whistle back and forth like this." "And I whistle with two fingers stuck in my mouth." " And I whistle lots of other ways too." " Congratulations." "You learn fast, Angie." "We're gonna watch the ball game on TV tonight, aren't we, Dad?" " I don't know, Tony." "I'm tired." "I'm trying to get some rest." " How about it, Pop?" " How about what?" " How about my whistling?" "Can you do it?" "What the hell is going on here?" "These kids are supposed to be in school." " Maria, get up." "On your feet." " It's okay." "On your feet." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Come on." "Come on." "Maria." "Will you come on." " Mama." " Don't call me Ma, Nick." "My name is Mabel." "I don't like to be called Ma." " Come over here anyway." " N" " They've gotta go to school." "Come over here anyway." " All right, kids." "Back in bed." "All you kids, back in bed." "Back up here." "All together now." "Come on now." "All together again." ""Jingle Bells."" "No good whistling." "Just air, just air." "Grandma, where are you?" " Grandma, where are you?" " Grandma, where are you?" "Grandma, where are you?" " Is something wrong?" " Grandma, in bed." " No, I'm gonna make the coffee." " In bed." " You didn't want any, but I'm gonna make some now." " Come on." "Everybody in bed." " I just don't think I can." " Come on, Grandma." "In bed." " Everybody in bed." " I" " I'll just sit, Nick." " You gonna come back with us?" " No." "Come on." "Here comes Grandma." "Here comes Grandma." "Here's Grandma." " Hi." " All right." "Hi, sweetheart." "How are all of you?" "I'm glad to see you." "It's a nice family, isn't it?" "So, what'd you do last night?" "Oh, we had fun." "We baked a cake, and he rode his bicycle, and " "I got a great idea." "When you get home from school, we're gonna have a party." "We're gonna talk about terrific things, and we're gonna do some very interesting, important things... after you get back from school, okay?" " But I can't find my darn books." " Well, uh " " I'll find 'em if it takes all my darn life." " Yeah." "I'll be in the car." " Mom, you gonna drive 'em or not?" " Sure." " Sure, I'll" " I can take them right now." " Okay." " I'll get 'em." "We'll" " We'll go." " Yeah." " Oh, Nick, I'm so sorry... to wake you up." " It's all right, darling." " No, it was nothing." " Yeah, it - it was something." " You were trying to rest." " Don't worry about it." " Good-bye, sweetheart." " Good-bye, darling." " And sleep now and rest." " Yeah." " She'll bring you the coffee later." " All right, darling." " I won't do it again." " We're going to school now, and I'm gonna take 'em." " And we'll be gone so you-all can rest." " Terrific." "Terrific." "Okay." "Bye." "Tony, come on." "Okay, kids." "Chop-chop." "Five, four, three, two, one, zero, blast off!" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Nick, it's the city." "They need you." "Tell 'em I'm not comin' in." "He says he's not comin' in." "Tell 'em I'm not Superman!" "What the hell do they think I am?" "Superman?" "He says he's not Superman." "What the heck do you think he is?" "Superman?" " What did you do?" "You hung up?" " Oh." " You gonna be all right?" " Yeah." "After work I'm gonna see my mother." "I got the guilts." "Okay." "You gonna be all right?" "Why do you keep asking me that?" "Think there's something wrong with me or something?" "That I'm wacko or something?" "Boy, I can hardly wait for the kids to come home." "All of a sudden I miss everyone." "I don't know why." "What time is it, please?" "'Cause I'm waiting for my kids in school... and I don't know what time the school " "Hey, you." "Hey, you've got a watch on." "Will you tell me the time?" "I'll go get some of those chains on your shoes." "Big deal." "Geez louise." "Do you have the time, please?" "'Cause I'm wait " "Hey, listen, you birds." "I'm waitin' for my kids at school." "Do you mind giving me the time?" "Do ya?" "What's the matter with you?" "What's the " "Do you have your tongues?" "Big " "Babies, come on." "Come on, babies." "Come on, sweethearts." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "That's it." "Come on." "Vroom!" "Okay, come on." "Hey, sweetheart." "Hello, hello, hello." "How are you?" "Mrs. Jensen's coming over with the kids." "I thought we'd have some fun." "Maria, hi." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Oh." "Go." "Whoo-hoo!" "Look who won." "Did you win, or did Angelo win?" "Oh!" "Cheater." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Oh!" "Oh, I hope you kids never grow up." "Never." "You know, I never did anything in my whole life... that was anything except I made you guys." "I made you and you and you." "Oh!" "Oh, my head." "What a headache." " Let me rub your back, Mom." " Whoo!" "Help." "Oh, yes." "Oh, yes." "That feels good." "Why do hands feel so good?" "Do you know?" "Hey, listen, can I ask you kids a question about me?" "Huh?" "Can I?" "When you see me, you know, do you feel..." ""Oh, I know her." "That's Mom"?" "Or do you ever think - I mean, do you ever think of me as, uh - as, uh, dopey or mean or - or, uh " "No, you're smart, you're pretty... you're nervous too." "Oh." "Thank you, honey." "Thank you." "Give me your hand here, would ya?" "Hey, look at that." "I didn't even know what a big hand you had." " I play ball." " Look at these lines." "Lookit." "I had no idea you had all these lines." "And you got a great big wrist." " Boy." "Hey, make a muscle for me, will ya?" " Ah, Ma, for God's sake." "Please." "Come on." "Remember the way you used to do your arm like that?" "Okay." "There it is." "Solid flab." "Okay." "Now let me feel it, huh?" " Is that the best you can do?" " It's the best I can do, Mom." "You see how good this whole thing is?" "You see how good it is we're talkin' like this?" " Do you see how good it is?" "Do ya?" " Hey, there's the Jensens' car!" "Oh, hey, come on." "Inside." "Come on." "Everybody inside." "Let's go." "Come on." "Come on, Maria." "Let's go." "That's it." "Okay, take off your coats." "Okay, keep down." "Keep down." "Okay." "Okay." "Here they come." " Hello!" "Hello!" " Uh, I'm Harold Jensen." "Uh, my son John " " Yeah, come on inside." "Don't just stand there on the outside." "This is a house where people come in." "Hello, hello." " My wife couldn't make it." " Oh, yes." "Well, I'm sorry." "Tony, you know the kids." "And, uh" " And this is Mr. Jensen, right?" "¿ Cómo está usted ?" " He's speaking Spanish." " Bien, bien." "Hey." "Hey." "How about that?" "Do you want some tea?" "No, thank you." "I just thought I'd drop the kids off." " I have to pick up something down at the stationers." " Ah." " You're uncomfortable, aren't you?" " Well, no." "Yeah, you are." "Just a little bit uncomfortable." "Come on." "Come on." "Hey." "Come on." "Hey, that's a nice ring." "Come on." "Come on." "A little smile." "Come on." "Come on." "Let's have some fun." "Hey, that's it." "Come on." "Let's have a little fun." "You wanna play with the kids?" "All right." "Careful, Angela." "Don't drop it." "Okay." "Here we go." "Okay." "That's it, Tony." "Put it right over on the table, honey." " Wow!" " What do you think, huh?" "Huh?" " Wow!" " Yeah." "Okay, put it right next to the punch." "Right on the table." "Okay?" " Okay." " That's it." "Be careful." "That's it." "That's it." "Terrific." "Right there." "Bravo!" "Great." "Do you dance?" "Oh, that's too bad, because " "Hey, kids, it's time to dance." "You see that?" "Once they get together, they're not interested in anything." "That's what you have to break." "You have to break through that and make 'em interested in things." "In, uh, languages, in singing, dancing." " Jokes even." "Fun, everything." " Can I have my tea now?" "Oh, screw the tea." "What's the matter with you?" "Hey, you hear that?" "You don't believe in miracles?" "That's Swan Lake." "That's perfect." "That's perfect!" "Hey, kids." "Kids." "Girls." "This is Swan Lake." "You remember the dying swan?" "Come on." "That's - Come and die for Mr. Jensen." "Come on, guys." "We'll be the chorus." "Come on." "You take Tony's hand." "Here." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Tony." "Come on." "We'll go around this way, and we'll be the chorus for 'em." "Come on." "Come on." "Die for Mr. Jensen." "Okay." "Come on." "Come on, girls." "Die for Mr. Jensen." "Come on." "Come on, Maria." "You know the dying swan." "Come on." "Come on." "That's it." "That's it." "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Come on!" "They just died for you." "Come on." "Yeah." "I love you too." "Hold on." "I'll get her." "Mama, Pa's on the telephone." "Well, tell him we're in the middle of a party." "Okay." "I'll tell him you don't wanna talk to him." "No." "Don't tell him that." "That's not what I said." "Wait a minute." "Here." "I 'll get it." "Never mind." "I'll get it." "Hello, Nick?" "Hello." "It's working." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "I'm out of breath." "It's working." "Listen, I'm a great mother." "I not only" " I not only love our kids..." "I love the Jensen kids, I love Mr. Jensen." "Ah, they're all wonderful." "They're beautiful." "I'm never gonna be mean again." "Never." "Yeah." "Mr. Jensen." "Oh, he was such a stiff when he came over... but I got him loosened up." "You know, I got him dancing, and I got him singing." " Hello?" "Hello?" " What's the matter, Mom?" "Damn telephones!" "Okay." "Okay, now we've got one of two choices." "We can, uh, do our homework... or we could, uh, make costumes." "Yea!" "You want to make costumes?" "Okay." "All right." "Maria, you take the girls up and put on some eye shadow and lipstick... and some of those crazy, you know, costumes you do." "And, uh, Tony, you, um, do the pirate thing... with the - with the patch on the eye and some, uh, earrings and scarves." "You know which ones I mean, don't you?" "Okay?" "What's your name again?" " Harold." " Harold." "Your first name?" "Harold." "Harold?" "Oh, you poor thing." "You can't name somebody Harold." "Hey, would you dance with me?" "Hmm?" "I'm worried about the kids - about leaving them here with you." "Which kids?" "About the - my kids, leaving them here." "And the reason I'm worried is that... you've been actin' a little strange." "Uh, I" " I wonder if you've been aware of that or not." "Who did all this?" "Where did all these - Who took all these clothes out?" " Who did this?" " Me." "Who took" " You?" "Why did you do this?" "Why?" "Why?" "This is not your house." "Come on." "Get up." "Get up." "Now get dressed!" "Don't stand there!" "Get dressed!" "Take this off and get dressed." "Come on." "Put it on." "Pick this all up now." "Where's your brother John?" "John." "John." "Adrienne, take off those clothes." "Come on." "We're going home." "Daddy will help you dress." " John, where's your clothes?" " Downstairs." " Go downstairs and get 'em." " Yes, sir." " I'm awfully sorry." " Yes." "I really wanted it to be nice." "I know you did." "Maria." "Maria, where are you going, Maria?" " Maria." "Come here, Maria." " Maria, come here." "Come over " " Maria, come here." " Please, Maria." "Why aren't you having any clothes on, darling?" "Who took your clothes?" "This kid is naked." "All right, Mama." "Come here." "Now, who took off your clothes?" "Tell Daddy." "Who took off your clothes?" "Hmm?" "Who took off your clothes?" "Please tell Daddy." " Mama." " Who?" "Mommy?" "Mommy took your clothes off, darling?" "All right." "Come on." "We'll get some clothes on." "Hurry up." "All right." "That's it." "Just" " Just leave her alone." "Leave her alone!" "What the hell is goin' on here?" "What are you doin' in my room?" " Can I talk to you a minute?" " Get out!" "Nick." "See what you made me do?" "Huh?" "Having a party?" "Get out of here." "Take your kids and get out of here." " John, where's your shoes?" " Upstairs." "Go up" " Go upstairs, find 'em, put 'em on." "Adrienne, help pick this stuff up." "Good." "All right." "Come on." "Clean up." "Forget about that." "Just get out." "Come on, honey." "Let's go." "Come on." "John." " What?" " John." "Well, come on." "Where's your shoes?" "I can't find 'em." "Where you goin'?" "Look, I'm fed up with you, your kids, your wife and your whole family!" "I'm gonna get my kid!" "Ooh!" "Stop it!" "Nicky!" "Nicky!" "Nicky!" " Mama, for Christ's sake!" " You're gonna kill him!" "Stop!" "Get out of here!" "Get out of here!" " Get out!" "I'll kill you and your kids!" " John, come on." "Now get outta here and stay on your side!" "What the hell are you doin'?" "Get outta here!" "What are you doin'?" "Get out!" "Is Dr. Zepp there?" "Who's this?" "Katherine, where's Dr. Zepp?" "Well, I've been waiting." "He's not here." "Well, where could he be, Katherine?" "No, nobody's sick." "Mabel's crazy." "Where's Dr. Zepp?" " I mean, where is he, Katherine?" " He's on his way." " Well, goddamn it, he's not here!" " Please don't talk to me like that." "I'm sorry, Katherine." "Now, could he stop off anyplace or what?" " No." " I mean, is it gonna be five minutes or 10 minutes?" "What is it gonna be?" "Jesus Christ!" "Jesus Christ!" "Never mind." "Don't get up." "Don't move." "You don't move." "Ma!" "Ma!" "Ma!" "No." "Just stay there, or I'll kill ya!" "Don't need your help!" "Get my own cigarettes." "Don't need anybody's help." "My own." "You're gonna be committed." "Goin' to the hospital until you get better." "You just, uh " "You got embarrassed, and you made a jerk of yourself." "That's all." "I make a jerk of myself every day." "I'm " "I'm not sore at you." "I mean, you hit me." "You never did that before." "I " "Didn't feel that, if that's what you - you feel bad about." "I " "I always understood you, and you always understood me... and that was always just... how it was, and that's it." ""Till death do us part," Nick." "You said it." "Remember?" "He said, "Do you, Mabel Mortensen, take this man?"" " "I do." "I do, " Nick." ""I do."" "Remember, I said..." ""It's gonna work because I 'm already pregnant."" "Don't let that mind run away on you now." "Remember how you laughed?" " Don't, Mabel." " Nick." "You laughed." " Don't." " Don't you remember?" "And he was mad as a big toad." "Don't do that." "Hey, don't be sad." "I know you love me." " Hey." " We had plenty of time to find that out, didn't we?" "You and I know." "You see that, Nick?" "That's how close we are." "And they can't pull us apart." "They can't force us apart." "'Cause... we're together." "I don't know who you are." "Don't say that, honey." "I'm not sore at you." "I'm not mad or anything." "Mabel... don't." "You sit there and pretend you " "All of that doesn't mean - And you know." "You know." "It's us." " You're going with them out there on the outside." " Be still." " And we're supposed to be on the inside." "We were always there." " Shut up!" "You little... teeny... skinny, little... bug!" "Nick." "What's wrong?" "It's all right." "It's all over." "Hello, Mabel." "Oh, Mabel." "Gee, you're beautiful." " Hello, Margaret." " Hello." " You look great." " How are ya?" "What's up?" "Nobody here needs a doctor." "I had the hiccups a little while ago, but I got rid of 'em." "What's up?" "Has she been drinking?" "Sure." "Oh, sure." "I've been drinking." "This is a drink, huh?" "Sure." " Mabel, did you take a pill?" "Did you take any pills?" " A pill?" " Mm-hmm." "Ah." " Is morphine a pill?" " Mmm." "Sure, I've taken pills." "I've... taken vitamin pills and, uh... sleeping pills." "Uppers, downers, inners, outers." "What did you tell him, Mama?" "That I drink?" "Yes." "You drink." "Listen, Zepp." "I" " I am a little upset." "I " "That's why I" " I" " I act upset a little bit, I guess... and I look upset, but... occasionally I calm down." "You do calm down." "I do have anxieties, though." "Don't let this woman in my house." "By the staircase." "She's guarding that staircase." "Up above are my children in my house." "This." "This." "This." "This." "That." "Mabel, what's troubling you?" "What trouble?" "Well, you said you were upset." "Did you and Nick have a fight?" "Nick, I get - I get the idea there's... some kind of a conspiracy going on here." "I mean, you've been looking at me so quiet-like and, uh " " He's got something in that bag." " Don't be concerned about this bag." "He's going to try to imprison me with something in that bag." " Don't be concerned about this bag." " Am I right?" " Don't be concerned about this bag." " Am I right, Nick?" "Am I right, Nick?" "Am I right, Nick?" "Mabel, would you please make me a drink?" "Ah!" " You" " You want a drink, Zepp?" " Yeah." " You want a martini, Zepp?" " Yeah." "Mm-hmm." " You wanna have a little fun?" "You don't mind making a drink?" " No, I don't mind." "Nah!" "You want a drink, Zepp?" "Okay." "The ice is in the kitchen and - and the vermouth is in the " "It's right past her." "Vodka." "On the left there." "You make the drink, Zepp, and..." "I'll watch them." "Doctor." "Doctor, aren't you gonna give her a shot?" "No!" "No!" "Mabel, we're trying to help you." "Is that what you're trying to do?" " Yes." " Is that what you're trying to do?" " Is that what she's trying to do, Nick?" " We're trying to help you!" "You be quiet." "One, you're acting crazy." "And, uh... for what?" "There's no reason." "The man's here on a call - a social call." "Nobody is sick." "Why are you so insecure?" "Hmm?" "Everybody loves ya." "Do you love me, Nick?" "This woman" " This woman has to go!" " I love ya." " Nick." " That's right." "I love ya." " Think of the children!" "This woman can't stay in this house anymore!" "You can't stay here!" " For Christ's sakes " " Listen." "Doctor." " Doctor!" " Hey." "Let go of me." " My son tells me stories." " Just don't grab my bathrobe." "He tells me stories of the talk - the small talk, the little things..." " the insecurity." " Mabel." " Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Tell me what your son says." "Go ahead." "Tell me what he says." " Go ahead." " I'll tell you what he says." " He says you give him nothing!" " Hey." " You're empty inside." " Ma." " Your children are naked!" "They're hungry!" " Ma." "That's what he said!" "Doctor." "Last night you brought a man in the house!" "My son is a good boy, Doctor." "He's a good boy!" "He never says anything!" " He doesn't say anything!" " I never said that." " I didn't say that." " Margaret." "Margaret." " This woman is crazy!" " Margaret." " Margaret." " She's crazy!" " Will you go upstairs?" " Please, Margaret." " Now, go upstairs." " Listen to me." " She's a grown person." " I won't go" " I won't go upstairs!" " She's a grown person." " Doctor." " Doc, take her upstairs." " She's a grown person." "Please." " Doctor, she's crazy!" " She's an adult, and I would like to talk to her." "Please." "I have five points, Nick." "I figured it out, and " "They're for me." " For us." " Mabel." "One is love." "Two is... friendship, and three is... our... comfort." "And four is..." "I'm a good mother, Nicky, and " "Mabel, I love you." "Um " "I belong to you." "That's it." "Those are my five points." "That's what I " "I have five points." "One." "F-Five... points." " Come here." "Now listen to me." " Baby.." "you know how I feel about you." " You're a great mother." "Take deep breaths." "Take deep breaths." "I love you." "You've made me happy." "Take a deep breath." "Take deep breaths." " And if I've made a mistake, I'm sorry." " Nick." " Nick." "Nick, I need " " Sit down!" "I'll knock you right on your ass!" " Mabel." " Baby." "I love you." "I'd like to give you a little sedative to calm you down." " Please." " Relax." " Mabel, it won't hurt you." " Doc." " Hey, Doc, Drac, back." " Mabel." " Get back to your coffin." "Get back." " Mabel, this " " I will never hurt you." " Back." "Back!" " Leave me alone." " I won't hurt you." " My God, I'm part of this family." "Would I hurt you?" " Mabel." " Back." "Mabel... this'll make you rest, this little sedative." " It'll calm you down." " I'm calm." "You're sick!" "You're sick." "You need a rest." "Your eyes are terrible." " I love you." " Lie down." "Lie down here." "You're awful!" "You're sick!" "Get a doctor for him!" "He's a very sick man!" "Get him!" " Get him!" "Get him!" " Mabel." " Mabel, you're gonna have a nervous breakdown." " No!" "Get him away from " " You must go to the hospital." " Hospital!" "Don't, baby." "Stop that!" "Nick!" "Nick!" "Don't let him!" "Please!" "I" " I promise." "I won't want anything." "Just let me stay in my house, please." "Nicky, I promise." "I don't want anything." "I'll be" " I'll be content." "Please." "Please, Nick." "Please." " Okay." " Okay." " Okay." " What about my children?" " What about the children?" " I love you." " Can they go with me?" " I love you." "Please don't say no, Doctor, please." "Listen, they need help." "They" " They need care." " The children." " All right, darling." " Let them come with me because " " Listen to me." " No." "They've gotta be protected." " Listen to me." " I want to protect my children." " I love you." "They're subject to insanity." " Try, baby." "Stop that." " Insanity, morning, noon and night." " Stop talking." " Morning, get up." "Go to bed." "Go to sleep." "That's insanity, isn't it?" "No." "No." "I'm gonna take 'em with me." "No." "No, I'm gonna take 'em with me because I'm gonna protect 'em." "You understand me?" "They're mine, and I'm gonna protect 'em!" " I love you!" "I love you." "I'll lay down on the railroad track for you." "If I made a mistake, which I did, I'm sorry." "But so what?" "What's the difference?" "I love you." " Now relax." "Come back to me." " Nick." " Relax and come back to me." " Nick." " Get out of here!" " Get out of here!" "I'll kill ya!" "Don't touch me." "You're not gonna make me." "Taking me anyplace." "And you!" "You're gonna let him take me." "I'll kill " "Yes." " Nick, I need your help now." "You cannot come in here!" "Leave those children alone!" "Leave those children alone!" "Please." "You cannot take - Don't take the children." "I'm not mad at you." "Please." "I understand." "Please, let me handle this." " I know, but " " Let me handle this!" "Mabel, be calm." "Be calm, Mabel." "Mabel." "Let me handle this." "Mabel, please." " Let me handle this." " I understand you, Mabel." " No, no." "You can't have the child." " Leave my mother alone." " Let her take them." " No, no, no." " Mabel." "Mabel." " Mabel, don't." "Where are my children?" "Oh, Mabel." "Oh." " Help!" " Don't handle her!" "She's sick!" " Nicky, help me!" "Nicky!" " Please." "All right!" "All right!" "That's enough!" "Please." "Please." "Here." "Here." "Please, Nick." "Nick." " Please, children." "Children." " Mabel." " Mabel, I gotta talk to you." " Please." "Please." " Let the child go, please." " Please." "Mabel." "Mabel, look at me." "I have a piece of paper here that says " "Hey, what do you say, Nick?" "What time is it?" " I heard you had some trouble at home." " Cut it out." "What?" "Something to do with the kids or somethin'." "I don't want anybody discussing my affairs." " All right, Nick." " Is that clear?" "Well, yeah." "Yeah." "But I'm not the only one." "Don't discuss my affairs!" "Well, all right, then." "Okay." "I'm sorry." " What are you bananas doin'?" " Hey, Nick." "What's with you and Mabel?" "What happened?" "Hey, Nick." "What's the story?" "Anything I can do for ya?" "Anything Angie and I can do for ya?" "I called your house last night." "Tony answered." "He give you the message?" "He said something about, uh, Mabel being in a nuthouse." "Is that right?" "She got a screw loose." "She needs some time, okay?" "Is that what you want to hear, you asshole?" "Ah, fuck off." "I gotta find another way to make a living." " Nobody say nothin' about Mabel." " Yeah." " I'll be getting to work pretty soon." " Please don't say nothin' about Mabel." "Bring it on, baby." "You're a silent son of a bitch." "Don't give me that shit!" "From the moment I got here, that's all anybody's been talkin' about" " Mabel." "Well, don't say you don't know when you do know!" "I didn't say I don't know." "You goddamn Mexican Indian, don't you walk away from me!" "You got something to say to me, say it!" "But don't you walk away from me!" "Hey, he just went over!" "I want to stop off at my kids' school and pick up my kids." "Comes to mind, I don't know my kids." "I'm never with 'em." "They're a little shook right now." "I want to take them to the beach." "You want me to go with ya, Nick?" "I'll go with ya." " Thank you very much, Miss " " Miss Hinkley." "I'm the school principal." "Where's Tony?" "The other lady was gonna get him." " Mrs. Flowers." " What time is it?" "What time is it?" "This dame don't have the time." " It was 10:00 when we got here." " Never mind." "Here he is." "Tony." " What's up, Pop?" " Tony, get in the back of the truck." " Are they going " " Take these two kids" " Yes." "Put 'em in the back of the truck." "Don't let 'em fall down." "Put that safety bar up." "Stay by the back." " And no kidding around back there." " Are they gonna be here tomorrow?" " Yeah!" " Oh." "Here." "These should fit ya." "See if they're your size." "Whatever they are, I'll wear 'em, Nick." "Hurry up and get dressed." "And make sure you bring a shirt and a sweater." "And a pair of shoes." "Nobody gets pneumonia when I'm the father." "Kids!" "How's this, Pop?" "Hello, Dad." "What a day, Nick." "I haven't been to the beach without my wife in 12 years." "We used to live in the water when I was a kid." ""Fish" they called me." "I was thin, see." "Lips all blue." "Shakin'." "I was always lookin' for girls." "My kids, they're all grown up now." "My brother, Marco, he's a college graduate." "Communist." "Couldn't keep a job." "Too many big ideas." "Reads too much." "I say let the girls read." "They love to read." "You know what I mean?" " Okay, let's enjoy ourselves, okay?" " Okay." " Yes." " I want to talk to my kids too." "Talk to your kids?" "They never listen." "Why should they listen?" "I never listened." "Did you listen?" " I mean, did you listen?" " All right." "Right here." "Come on." "Up here." "We'll plop down right here." "Come on." " Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Hey, Nick." "I'm usually a lot of fun, right?" "But to see a guy like Eddie fall and break all his bones " " Holy shit." "I mean, what a fall." " All right." "Knock it off, will ya?" "I mean, we're here to have a good time." "We're having a good time." "We came to play with the kids." "So let's play with the kids." "Otherwise we go home!" " Come here." " You're right, Nick." "I'm sorry." "You're right." "Come on." "You wanna go play?" "Come on." "Let's go." "We'll go build... a castle." " Yeah." " What do you think?" "Here?" "Right here." "Maria!" "Maria!" "Maria!" "Pack it." "Pack it." "Dig deep and get the " "Don't worry about it." "Hey, Nick." " You want a beer?" " No." "No beer for me." "Thanks." "I'm going in the back." "I'm gonna ride with the kids." "Can I have a taste, Pop?" "Sure." "Here." "Not too much now." "Okay, Tony." "That's enough." "Can I have some, Pop?" "All right." "Just a sip." "Not like your brother." "Can I have some, Dad?" "All right." "Just a little bit." "Not too much now." "See, you gotta be careful on a funny day like today." "We could all get too - too drunk." "But, you know, a little beer, it's good." "You sleep like rocks." "There you go, Tony." " Not too much now." " Can I have some, Pop?" "That's enough now." "I'm sorry I had to send your mother away." "I'm sorry for everything." "Yahoo!" "All right." "Now be careful." "Come here." "All right." "Come on now." "Can you walk?" "All right." "All right." "Get that stuff." "All right." " Get that stuff." " I'll put it here for you, Nick." " Let me put it here." " Get those things there." "All right." "Okay." "Come on, darling." "Better get inside because... you're gonna fall down." "Come on." "Come on." " You're coming to work tomorrow, right, Nick?" " Huh?" "Yeah, I'll be there." "Let's go." "Up." "All right." "Turn around, son." "There we go." "Angelo, are you hungry?" "You don't want to eat?" "I'm going downstairs." "I'm gonna grab something." "You don't wanna come?" "Come on." "You and me." "You want to sleep." "You banana, you." "All right." "Good night, son." "What about you, Tony?" "You hungry?" "You wanna take off your clothes?" "What?" "Do you feel dizzy?" "You want to sleep, huh?" "All right." "All right." "See you in the morning." "Maria, you hungry?" "Well, listen, I'm goin' downstairs, and if you wanna keep me company, you're welcome." "No?" "Lay down on the bed with me." "Hey, Nick." "Come on." "Take your clothes off." " Go ahead." "Take off!" " Hey!" " Hey!" " Hey!" " Don't get caught." " All right." " Okay." "Let's go." " Hey!" " Hey!" "All right." "I'm goin'." "You don't wanna come?" "I'll see you tomorrow, Eddie." "You sure you don't wanna come home?" " There's plenty of room there." " Nah." "All right." "All right." "That's it?" "She'll follow you." "All right." "Here's what we're gonna do." "She's gonna follow the truck" " Betty." "Now you follow Betty." "That way you'll get to the house." " All right." "You all right here?" " Yeah." " How are you?" "I didn't see you there." " Oh, Nick, I'm dyin' to see Mabel." "You'll see her." "Don't worry." "You'll see her." " I can't wait to see her." " All right." "Go on." "Pull it out." "Hey!" "All right." "Go on in." "Go on in." "That's right." "Lots of people!" "Come on, darling." "Come on." "Come on there." "There we go." "Go right in." "Go on." "How are ya?" "Hi." "Hi." "Okay." "Here I come." "Break open the booze!" " Let's get something to drink." " Yeah." "Come on." "How are ya?" "How are ya?" "Where ya been?" "It's wet out there." "God, I'm soaked." "Everybody's here." " Hello, Nick." "How are ya?" " Where's Mabel?" " Hi, Nick." " Nick." "Hey, Nick." "Hey." "Hi, Nick." "Nick." "Hey, Nick." "Nick." " Ah, you're, uh " " Victor's wife." "Oh, yeah!" "How are ya?" "Jesus Christ!" "You're a terrific kisser." " Thank you." "Listen, darling." " You got a lot of people here." "There's nothing to drink here." "No wine, no beer, no Coke." "Nothing." "Yeah." "Uh, well, she had a lot of friends." "With Mabel coming home and all, don't you think you ought to have at least a little something?" " All right." "I'll take care of that." " All right, darling." "Good thought, Nick." "Good thought." "Hey, Nicky, baby." "How are ya, you little fruitcake?" "Hey, you got your confirmation suit on?" "Hello, Nick." " What are all these people " " Adolph, how are ya?" " Fine." "Fine." " Good to have you here." "Nick." "Dino's looking for you, says he's got a message." " What kind of message?" " I don't know." " What's the message?" " He just said it's a message." "Good message?" "Bad message?" "Where's my mother?" " Mama?" " Come over here." "Come over here." "What is all this?" "Are you crazy?" "Have you gone out of your mind?" "Mama, we said we were gonna have a party when Mabel came home, right?" "What party?" "The family." "Only the family." "What the hell kind of a party is this?" "There's no Coca-Cola in the house." " No wine, no beer, nothing." " What are you talking about, Coca-Cola?" " Coca-Cola." " What's going on here?" "Hello, Adolph." "You're one of the family." "Nancy." "Hello." " What are you doin' here?" " You called me." "You told me to be here." "Remember?" "Eddie's not here." "You know Eddie." " Oh, you came." " Yes." "I love Mabel." "I know you do." "I love Mabel." "You think this is all right?" "All these people here?" " Yes." " You don't think it's too much?" "You really want to know what I think?" "You're a shit." "You sent her away." "You could have picked her up." "It is too much." "Hey, Nick." "Can I talk to you a minute?" " Can I talk to you?" " What's the matter?" "Look, I don't think I oughta stay here." "I don't know Mabel, and I don't know too many of the people inside - especially their wives." "What do you think?" "Hey." "Everybody back inside!" "You can't stand out on the porch!" "Surprise party!" "Everybody's gonna be lookin'?" "Can't stand out there!" "Hey, you!" "Come on!" "Inside!" "Let's do it right!" " Nick, your mama has to talk to you." " What about?" "Nick, these people can't stay here." "They gotta go." "All right." "You do it!" " Okay." "Okay." " I know it's wrong!" "I can't do it!" "Can't tell 'em not to go - to go." " Okay." " You do it." "Go ahead." " Okay." " Mama, you want me to do it?" " I'll do it." " Do it." "Stop sweating." "Everybody, quiet." "Please, quiet." " Please, everybody." " Quiet!" " Mama has an announcement." " Hey." "Shut up." " Shh." " Quiet!" "Everybody, please." " Shut up!" "Quiet in here, please." " Now, you know that Nicky loves you all." "I love you all." "Now, you should know better to come here on a day like this... when Mabel's coming out of the hospital." "I'm not blaming you, but I'm saying the girl'll be here any minute." "And you must go home." "Immediately." " Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." " Please." "Wait a minute." "I want to thank you all for coming." "Thank you very much." "And I'm gonna give my respect to Mabel from every one of ya." "I'm sorry I got you over here, suits and ties and " "But Mama's right." "Just too many." "All right." "See ya tomorrow." "Thank you very much." "Thank you very much." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "I'll go get the car, okay?" "If you don't wanna go, don't go." "But I'm saying if you wanna come, come." "Yeah, I'll come." "Let's go have a drink." "Come on." "Come on and have a drink." "We'll see you later." " Thanks a lot, Nick." " Okay, Nick." " Bye-bye, Mama." " Bye-bye." " Are you getting the car?" " Good night, Nick." "Bye-bye." " Arrivederci." " Arrivederci." "Take care, Gino." " Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." " All right." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "Hey, Nick." "Hey, Nick." "Hello, Mabel." "How are ya, sweetie?" "Take care, honey." "Anytime." "Whenever you want." "I'll pick you up." " You will love it." " See ya, honey." " Hi, Mabel." "I know you don't know me... but I'm a friend of, uh, Nick's." "Vito." "You know Vito." "Grimaldi." "I'm Mary, his wife." "And if you - Anything you need, just let me know." "Please let me know." " It's really wet out here." " Oh, Mabel, darling." "You look wonderful." "God love ya." "You look terrific." "I love you, sweetheart." " I'll see you soon, okay?" " How are ya?" "Boy." "Phew." "Mabel." "You look fine." "Rested." "I'm so happy to see you, darling." "Oh!" "Are you hungry?" "Would you want something to eat?" " No." " No?" "Well, will you say hel - your hellos to everybody?" " You saw Nick?" " Here are all the people." " Nick." " I'm very happy to see you, Mabel." "Must have been hard." "I'm sorry to have been the one to have done the committing." " I know." " But I know that you know... that it was the best thing." "So I hope we can be friends again." "Don't talk about the past, Doctor." "Hello, Mabel." "It's Tina." "Hi, Mabel." "You look great." "Great." "The children have been fine." "No calls, no fever." " Hello, Mabel." " Mama's good, and Nicky's always healthy." "You look wonderful." "Just wonderful." "And we're happy to see you again... and let us all cut our welcoming speeches short... because I'm very, very hungry... and I'm sure you must be hungry too." "Okay, Adolph." "We're all going to eat." "You look great." "You really look good." " How do you do?" "I'm Mabel's mother." " You look good." "God, you look sexy." " And this is her father George." " She looks wonderful." " She does look wonderful." " Oh." "Very, very good." "And we'll go to lunch, or go to a movie, huh?" " We'll go, right?" "Okay?" " I could use a nice, hot cup of coffee." "And I'm sure that you are, like me..." " All right?" " a man of breeds... that is hungry." "Let's see if we can find a cup of coffee." "Of course you're hungry." "We'll do something about that." " Thank you very much." " I don't think the young people think enough about how important food is." " Could I see the children?" " They go about eating like birds." "Why don't you wait a minute?" "You go in there, they're gonna start to cry... and you're gonna start to cry, and everybody's gonna get so emotional." " I think it's better." "Sweetie." " I've gotta see the children now." " Yes." "You can see them." " Where are they?" "They're in there." "Go ahead, dear." "Go in." " Why shouldn't she see the children?" " You do think she looks good?" " Hi, Mom." " Hi, Mom." "Hi, Mom." " Hi, Mom." " Hi, Mom." "I love you, Mom." " I love you, Mama." " Okay." "Enough now." "I'm sorry." "Is everything okay, Mom?" "Yes." "It's just been such a long time." "Oh, hello, banana." "Hello, my little banana." "How are ya?" "I missed you." "Where's Maria?" "Maria, come on over here and see me." "You want me to come over to you?" " If you want to." " You want me?" "If you want to." "All right." "I'll just stay here then." "Are you feeling better, Mom?" "Haven't got any more stomachaches?" "I mean, haven't got any more headaches?" "No." "I" " I 'm just trying very hard not to get excited." "Okay." "No emotions now." "I really want to be calm." "I really did miss " " That's enough now." " Are you tired or anything?" "You look great, Mom." "How are ya?" "I'm gonna kiss your hand." "How you - Did you miss us?" " Oh, Doc." " Oh." "No, it's " " Gee, I'm terribly sorry." " No, it's my fault." "No, I pulled the chair out, and I thought you saw me." "Look, hon." "Everybody is having a good time here, but I think we should leave you alone... so that you can relax." "You're staying for dinner." "I would stay for dinner... but, uh, uh, it's unbelievable." "If you're gonna have spaghetti, I can't stay." " George." " I can't stay because I can't eat it." " Sit down!" " No offense." "I just don't like spaghetti." " I'm not a spaghetti man." " Sit down, George!" " Don't you tell me to sit down!" " Dad." "Hey." "Come on." "I'll sit down here with you, Dad." "You can sit anywhere you like, hon." "I'm very happy to see my family." "Do I look pretty, Dad?" "You look beautiful, hon." " You think I'm gonna be all right?" " You're gonna be fine." "Just fine." "Mabel, honey." "Why don't you go over and sit with your mother?" "Go sit with your mother, hon." "Come on." "Excuse us for a minute." "Come on." "Don't worry." "It's all right." " I'm with you." "There's nothing you can do wrong." " I don't know what to do." " There's nothing you can do wrong." " I don't know what you want." "I just want you to be yourself." "This is your house." " The hell with them!" "Up theirs!" "The hell with them!" " I don't know what to" " I can't." " Just be yourself." "Be yourself." " Can't." "Come on." "Be happy." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "That's right." "That-a-girl." "Look." "Ba!" "Ba!" "Ba!" "That's it, huh?" "All right." "Give me a "ba-ba."" "Ba-ba." "Give me another "ba-ba."" "Ba-ba." " Give me a better "ba-ba."" " Ba-ba." "No!" "A real "ba-ba."" " Come on." "All right." "Everybody in the dining room." "We're gonna have a party." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Let's make it like a house." "Come on." "Let's enjoy ourselves." "Let's have a little warmth here." "Tina, you ready?" "We're ready." "Go on in, Doc." "Come on." " Mama, talk to the people." "Be a host." " Okay, okay." " Hi." "Hi, Zepp." " Hi." " Hi, Dr. Zepp!" " Hello, Tony." " Hi." "Hi, Tony." " Hi!" " Hi, Maria." " Hi, Angelo." "Hello, sweetheart." "Hi, Maria." " Okay." " Hello, darling." " I'll get this one, Dr. Zepp." " Sure, sweetheart." " I" " I " " She's a great helper." " Maybe they need water." " I think so." " Here." " Here's a chair." "Here." "Have you got a chair?" "You're a good girl." "That's a good girl." "Everybody sit down." " Here's another chair." " Adolph, you sit here." "There you are." "Thank you." "Can I help you out, Maria?" " I'll get here." "You get over there." " Zepp, you're here." " Thank you." " Watch your bag." "Mabel." "Thank you, Tony." " All right." " All right." "Here we are." "Tina, we're ready." "Stop acting like strangers." "All right." "So, what was it like up there?" "Terrible?" "Good?" "Bad?" "What?" "Everybody's here." "Seems like a party." "You should have seen it before." "We had 60 people here." " Nobody thought it was a good idea to have a lot of people..." " That's right." "but I thought it was a good idea." "'Cause I think friends are a good idea." "And good times are a good idea." " Right, Zepp?" " Right on." " Right, Adolph?" " Absolutely so." "You see?" "I mean, uh, no sense talking about the past." "The past is the past." "That's dead." "Forget about that." "Good times from now on." "That's what we're gonna have." "Things are gonna get better and better and better... and then they'll get better than that, and then they'll get better." "Yea!" "Tony, did you see that?" "Did you see your mother wink at me?" " Could I have a cup of tea?" " Yes, dear." "Tina's preparing some things in the kitchen, if you'd like." "I'm gonna go in there a minute." "Zepp, uh, do you think she's all right?" " She's a little crazy in " " Oh, Mama." " The girl's fine." " They gave her a release, you know." "They gave " " Ma, but did you see her wink at me?" " Yeah, I saw her." " But something in her eyes, you know." " Tina!" " Oh, no, don't." "Don't." " You're so fat!" " My God, girl!" "You were 120 pounds when I left." " All right, Mama." "That's enough." "You were" " What happ - How did you get so fat?" "Oh, Tina, you've gotta go to one of those places and take some of that off." "Look at your ass, Tina!" "Oh, my God, Tina!" "That's fantastic!" "That's - Did they see " "Did you see Tina's ass?" "Nick, that ass is as " "I've never seen anything so - Oh." "Tha " "Her ass is this big, Nick." "And when I went away it was - it was this big." "Did you see that ass?" "Did you see it?" "You can hurt Tina's feelings by talking about her ass." "It's okay." "I do have a big ass." "I wish I had some." "Well, there's nothing like 'em." "They're all beautiful." "Fat or small." " Don't worry about the asses." " Can I have some water?" "Mabel." "I've got a big ass." "She has a big ass." "Mommy has a big - We all have big asses." "So what?" "Did you hear that?" "Isn't she a bitch?" " Aunt Betty has got a small one." " Yeah, I wish I had some ass." "I" " I wish - I wish you'd all... go home." "Oh, we came for a party." "We'd like to stay for a party." " Nick and I want to go to bed together." " Oh, Mabel." " Mabel, calm down." " Mabel, darling, the children are here." "Don't talk like that." " Calm down, Mabel." " Let me" " Let me start over." " Hello, Dad." " Hi, honey." " Hello, uh, Mama." " That's better." "That's better." "Hello, darling." "Now, take it easy, won't you?" " Hello, Tina." " Hello." "Hello, Mama." " Hello." " Hi, Mabel." " How do you do, Adolph?" " Fine." "Wonderful." " Hello, Dr. Zepp." " Hi." "Hello, Angelo." " Hello, bananas." " Hi." "How am I doin'?" "Okay." "Listen, I really wish that you would go home, though... because Nick and I do want to go to bed together." "You know, we can't talk or anything while you're still here." "Now, watch your language." " George, I think we should go." " Just sit down." "I told you to sit down." "It's not the right time." " Oh, horse manure." " It's time to go, George." " It is not." " Mabel, take it easy." "Let's just" " Your" " It's your first day... and you're letting yourself go, and you know that's not good." " Naughty Mommy." " Fish party." " "Fish party"?" " That's funny." ""Fish party." That's funny, Mabel." " Naughty, naughty, naughty." " Naughty." " Mabel, everyone here's your friend." " I got a joke." " This jo" " Oh, Nick, this is funny." " Mabel, relax and calm down." "Let me tell this one." "And it's nothing bad or anything." "Um, this is a joke, uh, uh... about a census taker who was, uh... up in the Ozark Mountains and, uh... he went up to this - to this little shack, you know... and he knocked on the door and " "In the Ozarks?" "In the Ozarks?" " Yeah." "Like any kind of mountains." " I know that joke." " Kind of a hillbilly." " We know the joke." " We don't know it." " Well, I know it." " That's funny." "That's very funny." "Too" " Too exciting." "Too much excitement." "Do you like it, Nick?" "Uh, uh..." " It's all right." " Then, uh..." " Hold on, Mabel." " Come on." "he said " "Relax." "Be calm." "You must pay the rent." "You must pay the rent." " You must pay the rent today." " Funny." "I can't pay the rent." "I can't pay the rent." "I can't pay the rent today." "You must pay the rent." "You must pay the rent." "You must pay the rent today." "I can't pay the rent." "I can't pay the rent." "I can't pay the rent today." "I'll pay the rent." " My hero." " Curses." "Foiled again." "That's enough of that." "No more." "No more jokes." "That's enough." "All right." "Sit down." "Sit down." "All right." "That's the end of the jokes." "Sit down!" "That's the end of the jokes!" "Now we kill the jokes, and we just talk!" ""Hello, how are you?" Conversation." "Weather." "Conversation." "Conversation." "Look what's talking about conversation." "He doesn't know how to put two words together." "Conversation."How are you?" It's conversation."What have you been doing?"" " Jokes are conversation." " "Who did you see?" It's conversation." "Yes." "Oh, she likes pretty clothes." " Normal conversation." " What normal conversation?" " Stay out of this." " I will not." " Normal talk." "Conversation." "Weather." " Let her tell jokes." "She's good." " "How are you?" "Where you been?" "Hello."" " Let her tell stories." " "Too hot." "Too cold."" " Don't you understand?" "I don't know how to make it." "At the hospital, they come in every morning and give you a shot." "Please, Mabel, don't talk about those things." "Then the nurse takes you to the toilet, and they, uh " "Then you, uh, go to, uh, uh... work therapy, where they teach you games... and - and how to weave things." "And, uh, they gave us shock treatments... which are" " Those are where electricity goes through your head and is supposed to " "Be yourself." "Be yourself." "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Simple talk." "Dad... will you stand up for me?" "Sure." "No, I don't mean that." "Sit down, Dad." "Will you please stand up for me?" "Mabel, I don't, uh, know what you want me to do." "Honey, I" " I don't understand this game." "Will you just stand up for me?" "Don't you hear what she's saying?" "Don't you understand what she's trying to tell us?" " Sit down." " Oh, Geor " " Sit down." "Sit down." " Oh." "I can't." "I can't." " Please." " Please, Mabel." "Please, darling." " Mama, make 'em go away, please." " Please." " I can't do it." "I'm so tired." " Please don't cry." " Please." "I think we all better go home, huh?" " Mama, make them go away." "All right." " Good-bye, everybody." " Please, everybody." "Adolph." " Thank you very much for coming." " Thank you." " Mama, get the people's coats." " Okay." "Angela, thank you very much." "Come on." " Oh, Mabel, please calm down." " Leave me alone!" "For God's sakes, enough!" "Enough!" "Mabel, please." " Mabel, get down off that couch, or I'll pull you down." "Leave my daughter alone, you!" "It was nice having you here." "Excuse us." "Zepp, we're going to bed." "All right." "I want everybody out of this house this instant." "No long speeches, no good-byes." "Good-bye." "Mama, where's your clothes?" "Get the coats." "Help the people out." " Mabel." " Leave her alone!" "Get out." "Please get out!" "Bye-bye, Nick." "Bye." "Mama, what's the matter?" "Mabel." "Mabel, get off the couch." " Hey." " Get off the couch." "Come on." "Daddy, stop it." "Dad!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" " Mom." " Mama, please." " Mom." "What's the matter, Mom?" " I don't understand." " Mom?" " I don't understand." "Mom." "I don't understand, Mom." "I love you." "Mom?" " Mom?" " What's the matter?" " Mommy, what's the matter?" " Don't you hear me?" "Mom?" " Stop what you're doin'." " Mom?" "Stop what you're doin'." "If you don't get down off the couch, I'm gonna knock you down." "I don't wanna have to do that." " Let go." "I want my mom!" " You kids are goin' to bed." " Angelo, come on." "You're goin' to bed." " I want my mommy!" " I want my mom!" "Now stay here!" "Maria, come here." " I want my mom." " Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Come on." " I'll kill you!" "I'll kill ya!" "I'll kill those sons-of-bitchin' kids!" "Relax." "I want you to grab my hand." "Come here." "Your mommy is all right." " She's just resting here." " Yeah." " She's all right." " I'm just resting." " Go ahead." "You can see that she's all right." " I'm just resting." "Come on." "Tony." "Come on!" " Papa, put me down!" "Put me down!" " You kids are goin' to bed." "You're goin' to bed." " Now stay here!" " I want my mama!" " Stay here!" " Mommy." "Mom." "They want to know if you're all right." "Oh, s-s-s-sure." "I'm all right." "They, uh " "They want you to tuck 'em in bed." "Okay." "Sure." "All right." "Okay, sweethearts." "I'm sorry I scared everybody." "It just " "I was just... tired, you know." "How about pushing this old lady up the stairs, huh?" "That-a-boy." " You 're the best mommy I ever had." " Mommy, I'll help you up the stairs." "I'll help you up." "I like ya, Mom." " I love you, Mom." " I'll help you up the stairs." "You're the best mom I ever had." "I love you." "You know you look just like your father?" "You're Daddy's girl." "I love you." " Hi, angel." " Hi, Mom." "You think you're gonna be able to get to sleep?" "I'm worried about you." "Aw, sweetheart, don't worry about me." "I'm a grown-up." "I'm fine." "I'm happy." "Really." "Okay." "Okay." "I love you too." "I believe that." " I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" " Okay." "Okay." "Hi, banana." " Hi, banana." " How you doin', banana?" "How you doin', banana?" " I love you." " I love you, banana." "Will you stay - Will you come lie down with me?" "Sure." "There." "Spaghetti." "I love you." "I love you, Mom." "I love you, spaghetti." " All right, kids." "Good night." " Good night." "We love ya." "And we love each other, and there's nothin' to worry about." "We got through the night." "It was a tough night." "Tomorrow's gonna be better." "Angelo." " Good night, Tony." " Good night." "Mommy, please don't turn off the light." "Yeah, but no squirming around and no talking and go right to sleep." "This is your father talking, so you obey me." "I remember before, when you were punching me in favor of your mother." " You know, I'm really nuts." " Oh." "Tell me about it." "I don't even know how this whole thing got started." " Don't worry about it." "Let me see that hand." "I think I was just so tired, you know." "Do you love me?" "I, uh " "I, uh " "Now let's go clean up that crap." "Gotta get some food in this house." "Let's just leave it." "Okay." "?" "Yeah ?"

"Christ, it's almost midnight." "Nothing like putting in some overtime to save a miserable serial killer." "Alleged serial killer." "Right." " Well... maybe one of these days we'll actually defend somebody who's really innocent." " A man is innocent until proven guilty." " Until proven guilty." "Look, you and I both know that son of a bitch killed 14 people in cold blood." " I just hope there's nothing to this karma thing." " Oh, please." " Ah, come on." "What the hell?" "And I don't want to hear anything about any karma." " What's going on?" " I'm gonna find out." "I'm gonna check out the elevator shaft." " Yeah, okay." " Maybe there's a way out." " Oh, Jesus." " What's happening?" "Are they bats?" " Danny?" "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "Somebody help me!" "Please!" "Please!" "Somebody help me!" "Please!" "Oh, God!" "Please!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Ah, come on." "Just when it was getting to the good part." " Christ, not again." "Hey, take a little breather, honey." "I lost my concentration." "Goddamn piece of crap." "Looks like the only thing working around here is me." " Sons of bitches." " That's what you get... for stealing cable, Buck." "The first full solar eclipse to be seen locally in over 35 years-- ...while transporting Luther Heggs... from the Kern County Jail to the Huntsville State Penitentiary." "Heggs, you may remember, was convicted for armed robbery." "An unscheduled stop was made at a gas station rest room." "When Heggs persuaded the deputy to remove one of the cuffs so he could use the toilet..." "Heggs severely beat the deputy... wrestled away the key to the cuffs and fled the scene." " Looks like Luther beat the dog shit..." " In a moment we'll be speaking..." " out of that boy." " to legendary Texas Ranger Otis Lawson." "Officer Lawson, could we have the latest developments concerning Luther Heggs?" "Yes." "Uh, we have all available" "Hey, ain't that the old boy who put you away in that Lubbock bank job?" "Rotten bastard." "I'd like to say that..." "I-I-I will personally track down Luther Heggs... and drag his ass back to the penitentiary... where the sorry son of a bitch belongs." "All right, asshole." "Start talking." " You got a warrant, Otis?" " Did I give you that?" "Damn, Sheriff." "I thought I-- Let's see, did you" " There is it. ls that warrant enough for you?" "Huh?" " Forget about the warrant, Otis." " Okay." " Thank you for cooperating." "Now, where is he?" "Don't say, "Who?"" "I ain't heard a peep from him." "Oh, shit." "Goddamn." "Luther and me-- We ain't as tight as we once was." "Ever since I went straight." "I don't run in them circles." "Bullshit, Buck." "Goddamn it." "You're a criminal." "You always were, and you always will be." " Just like your daddy." " No, I swear to God, Otis." " I'm selling them Swifty products." " Shut up." " Show her the picture." " You seen this man?" " Yes, I have." " When and where?" "About an hour ago, on the TV." "Do you think we're just wasting our time coming over here... like we suck farts out of a dead chicken?" " She don't know nothing about it." " She might not, but you sure do." "'Cause you and Luther are butt-buddies... from way back." "And sooner or later, he's gonna contact you... and when he does, we'll be waiting." "Don't forget that, slick." "Ma'am." " Yeah?" " Well, hey, Mama." " Shit." "Yeah, well, listen, Mama." "I'm gonna have to call you back a little bit later, all right?" " All right." "I love you too." " Buck... your mama's dead." " Yeah?" " You clear?" " It is now." "Are you okay?" " Yeah. I've been better." "Listen up, man." "That Mexican bank deal is back on." "We gotta move double fast, though." " Are you sure the money's still there?" " Yeah, it's still there." "Five million in freshly-laundered... gringo drug money." "Round up a crew and meet me at that El Coyote Motel across the border tomorrow night." "All right, Luther." "Shit." "I gotta get out of here, man." "I'll be in around 7:30, run the whole thing down to everybody." "And now, ladies and gentlemen..." " the champion of champions..." "Roddy Pugh!" "All right!" "Yeah!" "Hang on, cowboy, I'm coming." "Come here, bull!" "Come to me!" "Come to me, baby!" "Come here!" "Watch out for that there bull!" "Come on!" "Better run, better run!" "There goes Widow Maker!" "Howdy, C.W." "Did you see it?" "Yep." "I reckon I've lost a step." "I reckon." "So how the hell are things, C.W.?" "Well, I fractured my ass bone..." "Fay left me..." "I'm three months behind on my note... and I had to hock my horse and trailer." "Goddamn, man. lf your dog was dead, we'd have us a country song." "Scooter got hit by a car and killed last month." "Jesus, C.W., I'm sorry." "I was just joking, man." "Oh, hell, Buck." "You know me and good luck was always strangers." "So what's the pitch?" "I'm guessing you didn't come here to scout my clowning skills." "Nah, there's no clowning involved here." "Luther's got a deal going." "Looks like a good one." "We need you to open the box." " Is my end more than a hundred thou?" " Way more." "Jesus, it's Buck." "Don't shoot, you paranoid son of a bitch." "Didn't you see the signs?" "The only thing I gotta beware of is your crazy ass." "Got a beer?" " Jaws is looking pretty strong." " Jaws is dead." "I lost him in a fight a while back." "This is Jaws 2." "I got him on the juice." "You're pumping steroids into a pooch?" "Damn, Jesus." "That's immoral." "Hey, it ain't the fuckin' Olympics, Buck." "I mean, this is dog fighting." "He's got a big match coming up." "Hey, go, Jaws, go!" "I got a deal you might want to get in on." "Who's setting up the deal?" " Luther." " Besides you and Luther... who else is on the crew?" "C.W. Niles and Ray Bob." "Ray Bob?" "He's an idiot." "I don't work with idiots." "They get you killed." "Yeah, well, you don't pick the crew, I do." "And I say he's in." "You don't like it, fuck you." " What would my end be?" " Figure 600 grand, give or take." " How's that Lincoln running?" " Like a burnt dead dog." "Good boy!" "That's a good boy!" "Go, Jaws!" "Go!" "Yeah, that's a good boy." "Bucky!" "What the hell!" "What do you want to sneak up on me like that for, huh, Bucky?" "That's some tight-ass security you got going here, Ray Bob." "I thought you was the damn supervisor." "Oh, hell, Bucky." "There ain't nothing here to guard anyway." " So what's up?" " A job's what's up." "Set us up for a good long time." "Yeah?" "I don't know, Bucky." " I mean, Alma's got me on such a short leash and all." " Knock it off... you pussy-whipped son of a bitch." "I'm going out on the line for you here." "You ain't exactly everybody's first choice." "Really?" "Wh-When-When's this supposed to happen?" " We hit the road tomorrow." "Going to Mexico." " What am I gonna tell Alma?" " I don't care what you tell her." "You just pack a bag, bring your .45" "and be ready to roll at high noon." "Get some sleep." " Twice a day." " Si, senor." "Hey, Buck, C.W. Nice ride, Jesus." " Well, I had to tell her something." "Ray Bob, we don't need this shit." "Ready." "El Coyote?" "What's that mean in American, Jesus?" "The coyote." " It ideal." " Come in with me, Jesus." "Just in case I gotta talk Mexican." "C.W., take the car down to number seven, start unloading the gear." "Howdy." "You speak English, lady?" "English, Spanish and a little bit of Japanese." "We need a room." "Number seven will do." "Hey, baby." "El fucko?" "Sweet Jesus." "Come on, Jesus." " Now ain't the time." "Let's get this crap inside quick." "Yowza, boss." " This movie is very low quality." "Don't look that bad to me." " There's no story." " It's a fuck movie." "I don't watch a fuck movie for the story." "I watch a fuck movie to see fuckin'." "I got to side with Jesus on this one." "I personally appreciate an attempt at telling a story." "When I care more about the characters, I care more about the fucking." "Now, my main complaint about this movie here... is we've been watching it for something like a half hour," " and there ain't been no ass fuckin'." " Fuck me runnin'." "This is my kind of place." "Christ." " Howdy." "Give me a shot of tequila, man." "Here you go." "Goddamn, man!" "Give me a... shot of whiskey or something." "Say, what would be the odds of gettin' a cab out here?" "Odds of getting a cab are about zero to none." " No cabs come out here." " Shit." " You got car trouble?" " Yeah." "Weirdest thing, man." "I hit a fuckin' bat." "Messed up my vehicle real good." "Hell, you say." "Where you headed?" " That El Coyote Motel." " I get off in about half hour." "Would you like a lift?" " Yep?" " Hey, Buck." "Broke down, man." "Luther, we were starting to worry about you, boy." " Want us to come and get you?" " No, y'all stay put." "This old boy here is gonna give me a lift." "Mighty decent of you, man." "I appreciate it." "No problem." "What kind of bat did you hit?" "I don't know, man." "A fuckin' bat." "A big one." " You know, there's many varieties of bats." " Yeah?" "I didn't know that." "Damn thing scared the shit out of me, though." "I pumped a bullet in the bastard." "Aren't we going the wrong direction here, man?" "Is that your jeep?" "Yeah." "Look, I'm kind of in a hurry here." "You know what I mean?" "Just take a second." "Come on." "You said you hit a big, old fuckin' bat." "Where is it?" "Well, man, I imagine it crawled off somewhere to die." "I don't see no point in all of this." "Oh, there's a point, all right." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "How bad is it?" "I don't think I'm gonna make it." "Damn, man." "You need to get to a hospital, quick like." "ls this him?" "Yeah, that's him." "What the fuck you talkin' about, man?" "I ain't never seen this guy in my life." "I think this belongs to you." "Victor." " Fuck." "Oh, God!" "Come on, fuckin' bat!" "Come on!" "Look out for the gun!" "Adios." "Fuck." "Boy, I'd sure like to do me... one of them porno star bitches." "I did me one of them porno star bitches once." "She had a small part in Splendor in the Ass 2." " You ever see that?" " No, I never saw it." "But I'd sure go rent it." "Which one is she?" "She's in the scene where Wendy West goes to the dentist." "There's this black female dentist... and a red-haired dentist's helper." "I hammered the redhead." "What happened at the dentist's?" "They all fuck each other." "What do you think?" "It's a porno movie." " I know this Mexican guy, Carlos." "He found out his sister was doing porno in L.A." "So he waited till she was doing another porno film... and he went down to the set... with a shotgun." "And he went completely crazy." "Carlos!" "He shot the director." " He shot the cameraman." " No!" "No!" "He shot the guy who was drilling her." "And then... he even shot the guy... who brings the doughnuts." "Huh?" "Man, this is just so cool, guys." "I mean, I'm gettin' to do a big job with all my buddies." " I mean, this is so great." " Hey, Ray Bob." "Do you know who was asking about you?" " No, who?" " No one." " Get off his ass, Jesus." "I ain't on his ass yet." "I ain't gonna have internal squabbling on this deal." " Where the hell you goin'?" " For a walk." "Yeah, well, don't stray too far." "Luther's due any time." "I bet you my ass he's going over to that little senorita's room..." " to get his dick wet." " Kind of figured Luther'd be here by now." "Luther." "What are you doing here?" "I just dropped in for a quick bite." " What the fuck!" "Take that, bitch!" "No." "No." "No." "No." " Who is it?" " It's room service." "Open up, you idiots." "Look who I found." "Hot damn, Luther." " I ain't seen you in a coon's age." " C.W." "God Almighty, Luther." "We thought you was never even gonna show up." "I got dropped off up the road a piece there." "Hoofed it the last mile or so." "Damn, Jesus." "That little split tail drain the life out of you?" "You look like a damn ghost." "She sucked me dry." "Damn." "Hey, Luther." "I just wanted to say I appreciate you bringing me on this job and all." "All right, girls." "Gather 'round." "The bank's in Bravos, right here near the border." "When you planning on pulling this thing off?" " We'll be going on this little expedition tonight." " "Tonight"?" "God dog, you gotta be kiddin' me." "We got to work things out." "Case the joint, shit like that." "Yeah, Luther, I never knowed you to go into a deal half-cocked." "We're gonna do this thing my way... which means we're gonna do it tonight." "Or all of you are gonna walk away with nothin'." "Are you homos in or are you out?" "I'm in." "Well, I sure as hell ain't walking' away from 600 grand and change." "What's the big hurry, Luther?" "What the hell are you?" "Cinderella?" "For one thing, that motel clerk got a good look at me." "I think she might have made me." "Well, now, you might ought to have mentioned that to me before." "Well, I'll fill you in on a need-to-know basis." "Well, I need to know everything." "All right then." "From now on, Buck, I'll tell you everything." " Fair enough?" " Yeah." "Are you in or not?" "I reckon I'm in." "All right then." "Let's head 'em up and move 'em out!" "What the hell we need this stuff for?" "I think it looks cool." "Just a precaution." "Looks like a goddamn bloodbath." "You tryin' to be funny?" "No, sir." "Why don't you go on outside and get some air?" "Yeah." "What's his problem?" "My boy's suffering from some serious hurt." "Them Gecko brothers killed his daddy." " You remember old McGraw, don't you?" " Sure." "Sons of bitches shot old Earl dead in the head." "What the hell you figure happened here?" "God only knows, and He ain't talkin'." "Jesus, when you guys are done unloading... pull the car out in front of the bank there." "In just a minute..." "I'm gonna open this here door." "How the hell are you gonna do that?" "I done told you." "I got this thing all worked out, man." "God Almighty, Luther." "You'd think somebody had done and gone give you the keys to the place." "What did you have to kill the guard for?" "It was him or me, Buck." "What about the other alarms?" "There are a couple of motion detectors back here by the safe." "You guys won't have to worry about that." "C.W., crack this box." "Jesus Christ." " All right, C.W." "Do your magic." "Don't touch nothin' you don't have to." "What's wrong, Luth?" "A little asthma attack." "That's all." "Let's go." "Yee-ha!" "So far, so good, huh, Bucky?" "I don't think so, Ray Bob." "We got us a dead guard here." "When them Mexicans catch us, they're gonna fry our asses or hang us-- one." "Oh, man." "You're a goddamn artist, C.W." " lt's an honor just watching you work." "Just let me know when you need the lubricating oil." "What are you tryin' to do, cornhole me?" "Back off a little bit, Luther." "Give me a little room to work here." "And get this goddamn thing out of the way." " Luther, you all right?" "Asthma, my ass." "I vote we get out of here while we've still got a chance." " Cops are on the way." "Let's get out of here." " Damn it." "All right, time is still on our side." "Now, all those cops can do is slow us down a little bit." " "Slow us down"?" "Hell, they'll kill our asses." " We ain't goin' anywhere." "C.W. has almost got this thing licked now." "You just settle your ass down." " What are you, retarded?" "Let's get out of here!" " Back off, man!" "We're about to be millionaires." "We're gonna be dead millionaires, we don't move it." "Get out of here if you want to. I don't care." "Just leave more for us." "Come on, Ray Bob, let's get the hell out of here." " What about the money, Bucky?" " It's over, Ray Bob." "There ain't gonna be no money." "Now, let's go." "You comin' with us?" "I'll take my chances." "Well, you're as crazy as they are." " What do we do now, Bucky?" " Run!" " Man, they're everywhere." " Shit!" " They're shootin' at us, Buck!" " Get back inside!" " You said we was gonna make it, Bucky." " Shut up, Ray Bob!" "Hey, I was just starting to miss you guys." "Listen up, you idiots!" "Get out of there and come out with your hands up... and we will not kill you." "I give you my word." "Take your time and think it over." "You've got two minutes." "Ah, Jesus Christ!" "Oh, God Almighty." "I don't know how many of them are in there... but your boy, Buck, is one of them." "Well, I'll tell you one thing, Chief." "You work pretty damn fast." "Hey, baby." "I thought I told you never to call me at work." " This is Lawson here." " Otis." "Hey, how's your wife tasting?" "None of your business, you son of a bitch." "First off, who the hell are you, and is Luther Heggs in there?" "I'm Jesus, and, yeah, Luther's here." "And Buck Bowers, who you know intimately." "Then, goddamn it, put Buck on." "You stupid bastard." "You're lucky I ain't done put a bullet in your head." "Yeah?" "Well, you cornholed the pooch this time, boy." "Oh, I'd have to agree with you on that one, Otis." "There is a bank guard in there by the name of Reuben Salto Guitierrez." "We want to speak to him." "You got a bank guard in there by the name of Reuben ""Salsa Goudaresm--""" "H-H-How the hell you pronounce it?" "Put him on the phone." " I want to speak to him." " Uh" "Well, he's still alive, isn't he?" "Sure, he's fine." "Well, then put him on the phone." "Give me a minute." "Jesus... tell him everything's okay in Mexican." "There you go." "Told you he's okay." "Now, listen up, Buck." "Let the guard go." "You guys come out with your hands up high... and we promise that we ain't gonna kill you." "Well, now, Otis, I think I'm gonna have to pass on that offer." "What about this:" "We take the guard with us." "You give us a ten-minute head start, and then we'll let him go." " Ain't gonna happen, Bucko." " Come on, Otis." "Work with me here." "Now, the way I figure" " Hello?" " What the hell are you doin', man?" " That was our last chance to make a deal!" " There ain't gonna be no deals." "Besides, I'm tired of listening to your chatter!" "My pit ain't the only one on the juice." "Come on, guys." "Hey, we ain't gotta fight, man." " Yeah." "End of the line, assholes!" " Goddamn it." "That's got it." "You the man, C.W. You the man!" "Good God, Gerty!" "What a gorge!" "We're right on schedule, buddy." "Got a half hour before sunrise." " It's the fattest one I ever cracked." "I'll take care of that." "Get one of the guys back here and bag up the rest of this cash." "What in God's name is going on up there?" "Get out of there!" "Get out of there now, damn it!" " What the hell was that all about?" " God Almighty." "I think we're gonna have to make a radical move here, Ray Bob." "Now, I know this sounds totally insane... but I think Luther, C.W. and Jesus" " What?" " Hey, look, if I don't go take a leak right now..." "I'm gonna piss in my pants." "Sal, can you see anything on top of that bank?" "I can't see anything up there." "Tear gas everywhere." "Sal?" "Come in, Sal." " Sal?" " Sal?" "Ray Bob, give me a hand loading this green stuff." "Shit." "God Almighty." "Where did Luther get off to?" "Uh, he's in the can." "Let's get this stuff loaded." "Let's get moving." "Cutting it pretty close." "All right, you assholes." "Get back here and give us a hand loading this cash up." "Hell, yeah." "Jesus, I do believe you're the greediest son of a bitch I ever knowed." " Where's Buck at?" " Breathing down your neck." " Take it back, Jesus." "You're the second greediest son of a bitch I ever knowed." "It's not about the money, you stupid bastard." "Ray Bob, get over here." "You get away from them." "Don't you cocksuckers move a muscle." "I want you to drop your guns on the floor, and I want you to kick 'em towards me." "Oh, Bucky, what are you doing?" "They're vampires, Ray Bob." "I know that sounds fucked-up, but that's what they are." "And we're getting the hell out of here, Ray Bob." "Even going to the pen's better than getting killed by one of these bloodsuckers." "Buck, you paranoid son of a bitch." "Now, Ray Bob, even you, dumb fuck that you are, ain't buying into this, right?" "Ray Bob, I wouldn't be willing to go out there, if I didn't know what was in here" " Gettin' to you, boys." "Get in there!" " Now!" "Fuck." "Hey!" " Hey!" "Bucky." " Bucky." "Bucky." " The doors!" "I never thought I'd be happy to see you bastards." "Do me a favor." "Take that knife out of my leg." "Hold it." "You gotta listen to me." "You don't know what you're dealing with in there." "Get this piece of shit out of my sight." "Otis, listen to me!" "No, you listen to me!" "You had your chance to talk, and you blew it." "Now, goddamn it, the game's over!" "Get him in there." "I guarantee you it ain't over!" "Otis, it ain't over!" " Otis, listen to me!" "Otis!" "Otis, you gotta listen to me!" "Otis!" " Let's do it." " Otis!" " You don't know what it is in there!" " Go!" "You don't know what's in there!" "Goddamn it, Otis." "Now will you listen to me?" "Let me out of the fucking car, you asshole!" "Ah, shit!" "We're toast!" "Otis, you got the sun!" "What are you waitin' on, man?" "Go in there and kill 'em!" "I'm not sending any more men in there to get slaughtered until I figure out... what the hell it is we're dealing with here." "Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me!" " Oh, shit!" " Come here, you sexy bitch." "You son of a bitch." "What the hell's going on here?" " They're making happy meals out of our ass." " They're goddamn vampires, Otis!" "All right, suppose they are." "What can we do about it?" " I think I know a way we can take 'em out." " Tell me." " You gotta uncuff me first." " Well, you tell me, and we'll take 'em out." "Get these cuffs off me now!" " Fuck you." "Come on, kid." " Otis!" " Fuck you." " You take these cuffs off me, Otis!" "Otis!" "Get these cuffs off me!" "No!" "All right, let's hear it." "And this better be good." "You ain't hearing nothin' until you get these cuffs off of me." "Looks like it's just about over, Otis." "Looks like you might be right, Luther." " Take that, you cocksucker." "We'll take care of these pussies." "Get the car loaded up." "I was just gettin' the car ready." "If you weren't already dead, I'd kill your ass." " That's for the kid." "Time to come with us, Buck." " The bite ain't that bad." " Bite my ass." "This is no time for long good-byes, asshole." " Yeah!" " Oh, man!" " Boo!" " Shit!" "Otis!" " Fuck, your luck's done run out, Luther." "Let's get the hell out of here while we still got some dark left." "You just don't ever give up, do you, Bucky?" "I admire that." " Couldn't just go along with the program, could you?" " You had to be a hero!" "Had to play the old, tough cowboy, huh?" " You had to fuck everything up, didn't you?" " What's wrong, tough guy?" "Happy trails!" " How you feeling now, Bucky?" " Fuck." "Jesus!" "You about gave me a heart attack, Otis." "Yeah." "Nice shades." "We're the goddamn fearless vampire killers, ain't we, Otis?" "Yeah, too bad there ain't much call for that kind of work." "Yeah, I don't imagine." "Tell me something, Buck." "What in the hell are vampires doing robbing a bank?" "You got me." "I suppose vampires need money just like anybody else." "I guess." "Nope." "Gave 'em up." "Use one of those patches?" " No." "Cold turkey." " Goddamn." " You ever miss 'em?" " Aw... every once in a while." "After a good, hot cup of coffee... after a good meal and..." "a good, hard fuck... but... not too often." "Well, I think I might have to make a run for it, Otis." "I ain't never done too good locked up in one of them cages." "Spent too much of my life like that already." "Well, I suppose I ought to try and stop you." "I don't think you're in no shape to stop nobody." " I don't imagine you're gonna make it." "Maybe." "Maybe not"

"finally SUNDAY!" "(birds chirping)" " Oh, it's you?" " Going that way?" " Over there!" " Too bad!" " That's life!" "(phone ringing)" "Hello?" " Hello." " Hello, madam Vercel." " Put Julien on!" " Your husband's out hunting." "He's not back yet." " Then, you'll do." "Go to my bank and get me a checkbook." "Mail it to room 81 3, Hotel Garibaldi, Nice." " l can't leave now." "I'm alone here." "And I'd need your signature." " Don't quibble with me!" " Remember, last time the manager turned me down:" "he told me to get lost." " What nerve!" "I'll tell my husband." " Go ahead." "He's on his way in." "It's Mrs. Vercel." "Hurry." "I hope you can hear her." "Sounds like trumpets in the background." "And your wife's rather overwrought." " lt does sound like trumpets." "Marie-Christine?" "Come on, don't be so uptight." "You must stay in Nice?" "Three more days?" "I'll send it." "But don't be so nasty to my secretary." "Stop saying "that girl"." "Her name's Barbara." "Lost?" "If she said that, you were right." "Why did you insult my wife?" "You told her to get lost." " No, I didn't!" " She's high-strung, but she doesn't lie." " Yes, she did!" " She got along well with my former secretary." " Listen, Mr. Vercel, why not let your wife pick your next secretary?" " My next one will start in a month." ""Le Provençal?"" "The Want Ads section, please." "I'm looking for a skilled secretary." "She has to be fluent in English." "A month from now." "Yes, references required." "Marital status?" "irrelevant." " Get yourself an orphan." "They're used to being abused!" " Mr. Vercel, please." "Inspector Santelli to see you." " Inspector Santelli." " Julien Vercel." " Detective Jambreau." "How was the hunting today?" " l didn't hit anything." "I don't know why I bother." "I'm fed up." " Notice anything unusual?" " No... I heard two odd shots." "The second 5 seconds after the first... as if to kill off a duck." "But there was no duck." " There was no duck but there was a hunter whose head was shattered to bits." " Massoulier?" "is he dead?" " How did you know it was him?" "I didn't mention his name." " l recognized his car as I was leaving. it's odd... he was a crack shot." "Maybe a suicide." " He wouldn't commit suicide, chief." "His brother's a priest." " lt doesn't mean anything." "Mr. Vercel." " Yes?" " Do you mind if I leave early tonight?" "Even if you mind, I don't care." "According to union rules... I can take 2 hours off to look for a new job." "Good day." "(phone ringing)" " Vercel real estate!" " You sound like an angel... but you killed Massoulier." "You'll pay for it!" "(phone ringing)" "(phone ringing)" " Hello?" " lt's me again." "It's very rude to hang up." "Hello." "Don't hang up again." " No, madame." "Wait a minute..." "Just let me lower the TV." "Okay, I'm listening." " You're a murderer." "You killed Massoulier because you were jealous." "He was your wife's lover, one of many..." " Madame, I could sue you." " lt was jealousy." "I know all about jealousy." "It's agony." "She slept with anyone and tutti quanti." " Listen..." " Ask her about the silver dining set that you got as a wedding present." " Who are you?" " lf l were you, I'd kill myself." " lf she's so virtuous, ask her what she did with the silver dining set." " Who are you?" " lf l were you, I'd kill myself." " "Me hate him?" ""Oh no!" "You're all wrong." ""l've admired him all along." ""He's a head taller than the others." ""Brave, yet gentle." "Noble and proud." "Berard!" ""He rides past, his head unbowed."" " "He is charming."" " "Such a man must be..."" " "Refined."" " "His eyes reflect his great heart." ""A great heart!"" " "Tremendous!"" " "Gallant!" - "Brave!"" ""And yet, kind!"" " "Tender."" " "Generous!" - "Wonderful!"" " "l like him!"" " "His height is extraordinary!"" ""His brow!" "His eyes!" "His nose!"" " "lf she keeps on praising me, I'm ruined."" " Not bad." "But if the king isn't funnier... I'll play the part myself." "Let's go on to Blanche and the jester, Triboulet." "Where's Triboulet?" " He's not here." " Bertrand's always late." " Where is he?" " l don't know." " Well, he's your ex-husband." " Does he know we're rehearsing?" " Cut it out!" "We've been divorced for a year." "I'm not his custodian." "Why not call his paper?" " We're wasting time." "Let's look at the wardrobe." " Hello, madam Vercel." " Hello." "(arguing)" " You'll wake all the neighbors." " Come on, it's none of our business." " l know all about jealousy." "It's agony." "She slept with anyone and tutti quanti." " l admit it." "I was Massoulier's mistress... but it's ancient history." "He's dead and so what?" "He was a bastard and a lousy lover." "Leave me alone!" "I've nothing to say to you." " Open the door." " l'm scared of you." " Don't be ridiculous!" " You won't hit me?" " Have I ever hit you?" "There's no need for you to be afraid." "You know I never get angry." "I don't understand anger." "I don't understand arguments." "If someone disappoints me, I lower the iron curtain." "You're reading the paper?" "is it interesting?" "I'm speaking calmly... and regretfully, but I mean it:" "We must get a divorce." "(whistling)" "Nothing to say?" " l don't hear you." "I'm reading the paper." "I'm reading it for you." "Don't talk." "Look at me." "Wait..." "Wait awhile." "I'm waiting for you, Julien." "(doorbell ringing)" "Don't tell them I'm here." "(doorbell ringing)" " Inspector Santelli wants to see you." " We met today." " He wants to see you again." " Did you know Massoulier was going hunting today?" " Certainly not." " But you recognized his car." " l told you I saw it only as I was leaving." " What shot pellets go in this gun?" " l'd say three." "Nowadays no one uses six but me." " This is Massoulier's gun:" "3 shot pellets." "But Massoulier was killed by two number six shots." " ls that why I'm here?" " No." "It's to show you this." " The 6 shot pellets I bought." "I told you myself I use 6!" " You also told me you were the only one to use 6!" " You must be kidding!" " Look here Vercel... I may be younger than you, but I'm not intimidated!" "It's going to be a long night." "Tomorrow too." " Then, I'll call my lawyer." " l can detain you for 48 hours without a lawyer." "Who is your lawyer?" " Mr. Clement." " Go ahead, then." " l won't answer any question till he gets here." "You won't get a peep out of me... not even the right time!" " Good evening, Mr. Clement." "Bring in two chairs and some sandwiches." " Massoulier's been killed." " l know." " These idiots suspect me." "They want to detain me." " lt's their right, but..." " l think I was denounced." " Denounced?" " Not exactly, but accused by a loony anonymous phone caller." " Did you tell them?" " Not yet." " What do you want here?" "One day, I'll find you in my bedroom." " We'll see this with Mrs. Santelli." " Listen to me..." " You two, come here." "No conspiracies." "Sit down." " Commissaire Santelli?" " What is it now?" " He's an Albanian." "She's his interpreter." "They insisted on seeing you." " l want to live here, in this country." "I don't want to be sent back." "He wants political asylum here, Inspector." " Political asylum at 1 1 p.m.!" "I'll see what I can do." "(speaking Albanian)" " You kept us waiting!" " l know, I'm sorry." "Killings don't happen everyday in this town." "Massoulier died this morning." "Neither a suicide nor an accident." "He was hot pointblank in the head." "They've got a prime suspect." "When they went to get him..." "Vercel was about to flee." "Julien Vercel." " ls he arrested?" " No, detained!" " Do you feel better?" " Yes, thanks to you." "But why does that cop go on and on about being younger than I am?" " That's to overcome his timidity." "But he's no fool." "I doubt the killer is a local resident." " What about those phone calls?" " Just another maniac." " Listen Clement, I'm sure my wife was Massoulier's mistress." " You've got no proof." "I can't believe it." " lt's true." "I'm considering a divorce." " No, not now!" "It would look bad." "Have you told your wife?" " No, she's in Nice." "She's coming back tomorrow." " Then wait." "You may work things out." " The word "divorce" is ugly." " Both the word and the act!" " lf things reach that stage... I'd feel wretched..." "really wretched." "Here we are." "Thank you for everything." "Come in for a drink." " No, thanks." "My daughter's feverish." "I want to make sure she's okay." "Don't worry." "Calm down and get some sleep." " "You're so kind, father."" " "Are you not my own flesh and blood?"" " l'm fed up:" "Bertrand keeps on pawing me!" " Old Hugo didn't mind a little incest." " How can we stage out play..." "If she won't meet me half way?" " Your attitude isn't professional." " We're not professionals." "We're amateurs!" "We play for fun and charity." "Who decided Bertrand would play Triboulet?" " We're wasting time." "Let's start all over." "You come in when you hear, "Here she comes"." "Help me move the door." "(Bertrand reciting lines.)" " l've got to leave town." "Can you manage the agency?" " Make up your mind:" "you fire me and now I'm promoted." " l'm in trouble." "I can't force you to help me." " What do you want me to do?" " l'll explain." " "Heavens, I'm terribly impatient." ""But I hear her footsteps." "Here she comes."" " "Two bells chime."" " "Heavens, I'm terribly impatient." ""But I hear her footsteps." "Here she comes."" " Put the lights out." " What's wrong?" "The police let you go." " Only because they had to." "I must go to Nice... to find out what my wife was doing there." "To find out... whom she was meeting, everything." "If there was someone besides Massoulier." "I must tell you something:" "Massoulier was my wife's lover!" " l know it, but it's none of my business." "Where's the gun that was here?" " ln my pocket." " Oh, no!" "It's crazy for you to run away, but if it's to kill your wife, I won't let you." " l'm not going to kill her..." "she's already dead!" " What?" " She was killed in our house this evening... but I didn't do it." "Do you believe me?" " lt's hard to believe..." " She came home at 7 p.m." "We had a big fight." "Then, this fool," "Santelli's assistant, took me back to the police station." "I was very upset but they allowed my lawyer to come over." "He drove me home." "When he asked when my wife was coming back, I lied... and said she'd be back in 2 days." "Because of that stupid lie, I couldn't ask him to help me." " My daughter's feverish." "I want to make sure she's okay." "Don't worry." "Calm down and get some sleep." " Marie-Christine?" "Marie-Christine!" "Do you believe me now?" " Yes." " Would the cops believe me?" " No." " l have no choice." "I must dig into Marie-Christine's past." "I must investigate in Nice where she ran a beauty salon." "I've got to run." " No, you can't drive in your condition." "I'll make you some coffee or you'll fall asleep." " l'm much too keyed up to fall asleep at the wheel." " Let me give you my opinion." "I think you should turn yourself in as a temporary prisoner." " "A temporary prisoner!"" " And I'll go to Nice to investigate for you." "I know Nice very well." "I went to business school there." "It was the best school for the Prevost-Delaunay system." "It was on Plaza Albert 1st." "I guess that's not very exciting." "Here's the coffee." "(footsteps resounding)" "Damn it!" "police station" "is "rue des Entrepreneurs" on the way?" " To the Garibaldi?" "It's not far." " Then, let's go:" "57, rue des Entrepreneurs." "It's a nightclub!" "It wasn't a beauty salon?" " lt's been the "Red Angel" for years." "If I were you, I wouldn't set foot in there." " What do you mean?" " You may not believe me, but if you come in, I won't wait for you." "It's Louison's joint." " Who is she?" " l don't know... but I don't want trouble." "Make up your mind:" "You stay or we go on but I'm leaving." " Okay, on to the Garibaldi." "Good evening." " Good evening." " A room for the night." " Have you reserved?" " No." "Mrs. Vercel recommended her room to me." " Mrs. Vercel." "She was in room 813, but it isn't ready." "You can have room 81 1 , next door." " Fine." " Where's your luggage?" " lt'll be here tomorrow." " But you wanted a room for one night." " Yes." "My luggage will get here in time for my departure." " Just a minute, please." " Shall I pay in advance?" " No, it's alright." "Good night." " Germaine!" "Germaine!" "Come here!" "You must help me out." " Right now?" " lt's embarrassing." "Don't tell anybody:" "My trick can only make it... if I'm a maid." " ls he the tax man?" " So you must lend me your apron." " What about me?" " l'll give it back." " Leave it on my shelf when you go." " May I help?" " l need a savonette." " No problem." "Just ask." " l've got a hunch you know your way around." "Right?" "Tell me about her." " l never saw this dame before." "The woman in the panther coat..." "She was here this morning." " Was she alone?" " Yes, always by herself." " No visitors?" " Never... I bet I know:" "The man with her is your husband, right?" " No, he's my brother." "(doorbell ringing)" "Since room 813 is ready, can I stay here?" " lt's alright with me." "I'll just tell the desk." " What's going on?" " lt's a mistake." "I'm in the wrong room." " l won't let you leave!" "Don't run away!" "Who are you?" " Let me go!" " Who are you?" "What did you do in my room?" "LABLACHE detective AGENC Y" "(crying)" " l was wrong to let Vercel go." "I should have kept him here." "But you were with him." " l left him at his house." "He didn't tell me his wife was back." "I'm sure he can explain everything." " Chief, a call from Nice." " Nice airport." "Nice airport." "Stop your search." "We've located his car." "He's flown the coop!" " Good morning." "Mr. Lablache, please." " He's in conference." " Remember, gentlemen:" "Our job is 10% inspiration and 90% transpiration." " Mr. Lablache?" " Yes." " Let me show you something." " lt's the woman I told you about." " Leave us alone." " Put this on." "They won't recognize you." " l'll be frank with you, I get the picture." "I know about the incident last night." "The man is a beginner here." "He's not good at shadowing jobs so we gave him an investigation." "End of story." "Coffee?" " No, thanks." "We both know that private detectives have no right to break and enter." "If I report this to the police, you'll be in trouble." " l have a hunch you won't go to the police." " Don't bet on it!" " Normally, 9 persons out of 10 would have complained to the hotel management." "But you came straight here." "What do you want?" "My apologies?" "I apologize most sincerely." "I direct the most reputable agency in Nice." "A client requested a report on a woman." "Yesterday, she was in room 813 at the Garibaldi." "We didn't know she'd checked out." " l accept your apologies... but I want to know the name of your client." " Even if I knew it." "No way!" "But in this case, he didn't give his name." "He calls us when he wants news." " Do you think it was one of her lovers?" " ln the past 25 years, I've learned one thing:" "It's never the lover who has a woman shadowed, it's her husband!" " ln that case, tell me her name... the name of the woman in room 813." " l'm sorry, but I can't tell you." " lt's Marie-Christine Vercel." "Now, you've got to help me." "The bus to Marseilles?" " Across the way!" "(trumpet-like signal resounding)" " "Le Capitaine" is ahead," ""Mon amour" a length behind." ""Mon Amour", moves up to the finish line and wins by a nose." " Hello?" " Do you remember "Le Capitaine"?" " Mrs. Vercel's lover?" "Her "Amour?"" " No, "Le Capitaine" isn't a man, he's a horse..." "Same thing for "Mon Amour. "" " Horse racing!" " That's where all her money went." "Here's my bus." "Check into the racing circles!" " Your mail." " Thank you." " Hello." " Hello." " How dirty!" " Don't you realize?" "I'm locked in here, gagged out, with the phone ringing all day... and wild rumours spreading in town." "You meant well and were trying to help but it was up to me to go to Nice." " Helpful or not... I wouldn't have lifted a finger if I'd known you were a killer." " What do you mean?" " l know now!" "Three days ago, you asked a detective in Nice to shadow your wife." " l never left town." " You did it by phone and didn't tell them your name." "You were suspicious of her." "I might as well tell you:" "I always knew you were guilty, but I went along with you because I thought it was an unpremeditated crime of passion." "In reality, you planned the whole thing and I find it revolting." " No Barbara, you're right." "You're entitled to the truth." "I'm guilty. just as you said." "But please try to understand me." "You mustn't think I'm a coward." "I'm ready to pay for what I did." "Let's go to the cops." "We'll tell them everything." "You're right, Barbara, about the man who wanted her watched." "When we find him, we'll have the killer." " What's that?" " Be careful, Barbara." " What do you want?" " l'm just doing my job." " No stray dogs here!" " No dogs... but lots of dead bodies." "You're not fussy, are you?" "Working for a killer." "I feel concerned." "I'm worried." "Do you have a picture of your boss?" " ls that all?" "Draw it yourself!" "Go on, get lost!" " Everybody knows you sleep with him." " You creep!" " The coffee's warm." " Thank you." " lt's hot, right?" " Yes, very." " ls it too hot?" " No, it's better when it's hot." "(phone ringing) I'll pick it up there." "You listen in." " We'll lift the receiver together." "After the next ring." "(phone ringing)" " Ready?" "Vercel Agency." " So it's true?" "I can hardly believe it." " Who is this?" " You tramp... working for a killer." " l didn't know he'd been indicted." " Don't be a smart ass!" "I'm sure you know where he's hiding." "Why don't you join him, you slut?" " You think it's the same woman?" " l think I know her." "Don't you?" " l've no idea." "Watch out!" " Hello." "I'd like to see Mr. Vercel." " He's not here." "Can I help you?" " l wanted to talk to him about a chateau." "A chateau... for a summer camp." " Do you want to rent it, or buy it?" " Perhaps an annuity purchase." " lt's risky..." "You must wait till the owners are deceased." " But our camp's only open 3 months a year." " Even so, you can't evict the owners." "They're generally elderly." " My vacation camp is for adolescents." " lt's rarely for senior citizens!" "Think it over." " l'd like to get going by next year." "Kids need a bracing climate, something high up." " We have some nice properties, between 900 and 1800 feet up." " The ads say "a step from the ocean."" " Do you want the mountains or the beach?" "You seem a little confused." " lsn't this Mr. Vercel's agency?" "Can't I speak to him?" " He's away at a convention... the real estate convention." " You deal in real estate?" " Does this look like a grocery store?" "I've got work to do." "Why don't you think things over." "Come back some other time." " Alright, I'll be back." "I'll surely be back." " lf all our customers were like that one..." "What a creep!" " Barbara." "Barbara!" "A telex." " "Report from Lablache to Vercel." ""Marie-Christine Beauty Salon never existed." ""Mrs. Vercel is a heavy better at Nice turf." ""Married Julien Vercel under false name." ""Real identity:" "Josiane Kerbel." ""Worked several years as" ""so-called "beautician," which led to..." ""surveillance by Vice Squad." ""Kerbel's murder yesterday concludes our investigation." ""Signed:" "Lablache."" " Take it to Clement, but don't tell him I'm here." " Why worry about him?" "After all, he's your lawyer." " Give me my raincoat." " Just look!" "Can I run around this way?" "Now, I'll lock up and remember:" "don't answer the phone." " Unless you call." " How will you know?" " We'll make up a code:" "let it ring once and hang up." "When you ring again, I'll answer." " Good idea." "So long." "Mr. Clement, please." " He's busy." "Would you wait?" " There's someone in." "Have a seat." "It won't be long." "(arguing)" " lf you won't... I'll go to the police!" "It's a scandal!" "They were all jealous of him!" "My life is over now!" "It's all over!" " Barbara... I meant to call you." "Come in." " My life is over!" " Take a deep breath." " lt's awful:" "The more you love a person, the less helpful you are." " Wasn't Mr. Vercel with you that night?" " l drove him home from the police station." "And you know, I wanted to ask him to stay at my house... but I was embarrassed to." "I didn't." " But Mrs. Vercel was already dead!" " Who knows?" "He told me she was still in Nice... and yet the police officer saw her suitcase... one hour earlier in the salon." "Why did Julien lie?" " You talk as if he was guilty." "Do you believe that?" " No, but to believe or not to believe is not the question." "Life isn't a novel." "In a novel, our friend would be guilty." "By running away, Vercel is acting as if he were guilty." " What would you do in his place?" " lf he asked me, I'd tell him what I'm telling you." "No reason to worry." "Thank God, we're in France where juries allow for crimes of passion." "Meanwhile, tell me... what can I do for you?" " l want your advice." "If you know where Vercel is, can you ask him... for instructions." "I've kept the agency open but is that what he wants?" " Unfortunately... I don't know where he is." "If I did, I'd tell him to surrender." "Only then can I really help him." "If he contacts you, tell him that and ask him to call me at once." " Come along, please." " What for?" " The chief wants to see you." " What were you doing in Nice last night?" " None of your business!" " ls that so?" "I already know that at the Garibaldi, you insisted on having room 813, the very one Mrs. Vercel had just vacated." " Mr. Vercel... asked me for some information on his wife's trip to Nice." "But we both thought she was alive." "At least, I thought so." "But never mind." "I gather you also know that 3 days ago, the Lablache agency got instructions to check Mrs. Vercel's past." "When you're about to kill someone, you don't consult a private eye." "Why not try to find out who called the agency in Nice?" " l'd be on top of things... if I'd kept your boss locked up." "I had the right to detain him." "Jambreau!" " lt's okay now." " Don't leave town without my permission." "We're in charge." "And if your murdering boss..." " He's innocent!" " You're really stubborn!" "How can I convince you we're dealing with a dangerous paranoid?" "Impressive, aren't they?" "Mrs. Vercel..." "Massoulier's car as we found it." "Look at the door." "Now see these fingerprints, the fingers of Vercel's right hand." " lt's very simple." "As I was leaving, I saw a car with the lights on." "To be helpful, I put them out and closed the door with my hand like this." "It would be a miracle if I'd left no prints!" "Did you tell them that?" " l couldn't..." "I didn't know." "When Santelli showed me the pictures, I was upset." " Because you're a ninny!" "Besides, why go to the cops?" "I told you to see my lawyer." "You're all mixed up." "You keep on getting me in deeper." "I'm going to call my lawyer." " Let me tell you something first." "Your dear lawyer thinks you're guilty." " Did he say so?" " He almost did." "True, he adores you." ""My best friend..." "my close friend..."" "But what he really craves is a chance to display his eloquence by pleading a crime of passion." "He said, "The French adore love affairs..." ""l'll get Julien Vercel acquitted."" "You still want to call him?" "Look!" "Between your lawyer... and Santelli:" "The creep who came here." " The summer camp?" " l'm sure of it." "He's snooping around." "First, he's there when they remove the body." "Then, he just happens to drop in here." "It's not a coincidence." " Stop scratching your ear:" "it's annoying." " But it helps me to think." " Barbara..." " Hum..." " Dial the number of the Eden Cinema." " You want to see a movie?" " No, I want to speak to the manager." "Massoulier owned it, so she may know something." "She might know whom he spoke to last." " The Eden:" "Next show at 8:30." " Good morning, I'd like to speak to the manager." " There is no manager." " Do you know this voice?" " l'm not sure." " She's the nut who makes those phone calls." " To be sure... I'll call back and keep her talking." "Hello. I just want to know... if "Paths of Glory" is a love story." " lt's a war film between the French and Germans." " Canons and soldiers." "Are there any women?" " The soldiers carry photos of their wives..." " So, it's a love story?" " There's love, battles, songs, emotions and tutti quanti." " Balcony." " Balcony." " Orchestra or balcony?" " lt's about Mr. Massoulier." " The film is half over but it's up to you." " Do you know who he met last?" " l know who sent you." "If he had any decency, he would kill himself." " You're all wrong." "Mr. Vercel isn't guilty." " Don't be indecent!" "He wasn't the only one." "Many men were drooling around that bitch." "It turned ugly when that slut hit town." "Yes, she was a slut!" "Go away!" " Listen to me!" "I too want to know the truth." " Go away!" "Her." " Either go in, or go out." " l'm just looking at the posters." " This is the lobby... you're in the way." "I'm asking you to leave." "(crying)" " How much?" " What?" " How much is it?" " lt's past 7:35 p.m." "It's me." " So, you saw the cashier?" " l couldn't get a word out of her, but I'm sure she knows a lot:" "I saw her leaving the lawyer's office." "She was hysterical." "She just went into a brand new cabaret, "The Red Angel. "" " l thought that was in Nice." " lt's the same name." "I could hardly believe my eyes." "There's a restaurant name..." ""Thi Loan."" " A Vietnamese?" " Yes." " We sold the property, it's in our files." " Wait a minute." "She just came out." " What's her name?" " l can't just walk up and ask her name." "She's leaving. I'll follow her." " Barbara, wait." "Be careful!" "(glass shattering)" " You're late, sir." "You're late and you're losing your keys." "Has the rehearsal started?" " Are we friends again?" " You're a lunatic!" " Why?" "Because I want to sleep with you?" " Do divorced couples make love?" " lt happens every day." " What about Genevieve?" " She left me because of you." "I said your name when I slept with her." " Yes, I know, while you work like angels, I miss one rehearsal out of two and we play next Sunday." "I've let you down." "So, either you trust me to be letter perfect... or else, replace me..." " ls this alright?" " Bravo..." "You've got some nerve!" "No, she looks just fine." "Very pretty." "Go on!" "Don't mind me." " Go ahead." " "Me hate him?" "Oh no!" ""You're all wrong." ""l've admired him all along."" "(Reciting lines in a monotone.)" ""Berard!" "He rides past, his head unbowed."" " l'll run along." "I don't want to intrude." " "You obviously prefer "Le Provençal"..." ""To our amateur efforts at rehearsal."" " l know the cashier's name:" "It's Paula Delbèque." " That's a big help." " What about the "Red Angel" file?" " Nothing of interest." ""Mrs. Loan sold all of her restaurant stock..." ""as follows:" "365 shares to Paula Delbèque..."" "(in unison):" "Look!" "Delbèque!" "It's the same name." " l can't figure it out." "Why would the major stockholder of a nightclub... work as a cashier in a crummy cinema?" "It's vital that I talk to her." " Don't be crazy!" "All the cops have your picture." "Let me go!" " You can't handle it." "Besides, she knows you." " She won't see me." "I'll sneak into her flat." " lf they used her as a cover, she's got files. I'll find them." " Don't you think I can?" " Cut it out?" "Who is accused of murder?" " l get all the dirty work and..." " Stop yelling!" "(phone ringing)" " Who can that be?" " Don't answer it." " l won't. I've got to leave." " You're stubborn, but so am I." " We're both whispering since the phone rang." "I borrowed "Le Provençal" car." " lt's final:" "I'm telling you..." " What?" "That I'm fired?" "That's already done." " Don't be afraid, it's me." "If this is risky, I should be in on it, right?" " lt's really unfair:" "if a boss can fire me, why can't I fire him?" "Keep out of sight." "We're at the Eden." "I'm slowing down." "Do you recognize the cashier?" " l certainly do." "She was Massoulier's mistress long ago. lt didn't last." " l assure you she still loves him." "She's stuck there between the two evening shows." "One hour to search her apartment, that's enough to find something." "It's there, on the 4th floor." "I'll go up and you watch." " No way!" "I'll go and you watch!" "Don't argue." " As you like." " Let me go!" " What are you doing here?" " Stay away." " Part." " Yeow!" "Barbara!" " l didn't kill him?" "He's not dead?" " He's breathing." "If we don't stop him, he'll come to real fast." "We must do something." "You know... this guy..." "I'm certain he's the killer." " Not necessarily." " l'm positive, it's him." " l'd say there are 9 chances out of 10." " Tying up an unconscious man isn't very heroic." " We're no heroes!" "The police?" "How about some protection?" "Robberies night after night!" "57, rue des Récollets, there's a customer for you." " What did you do that for?" " To accelerate your release." " What are you waiting for?" " Can you start it?" " l'll handle it." "Look, it's flooded." "(police siren)" " Come on." " What?" " Come on." " What got into you?" " l saw it in a movie." "Let's wait to see how it winds up." " We'll find out in the morning paper." " l feel dizzy." " You're okay?" " lt's the first time I slugged a man." "By the twelfth, I'll have the knack." " With all what's happened in the past two days... it's only now I realize that Marie-Christine's gone." "I lived with a stranger for 2 years." "I sensed there was something wrong, but I ignored it." "I wonder why she came here." " Was she your client at first?" " No, I found the store for her." "She closed her beauty salon soon after opening it." "She claimed she wanted to be with me." "I liked her, I really did... you can't understand." " ln that case, why tell me about it?" " Death is a strange thing." "When people die of illness... it's cruel and unfair, but it's really death." "When it's a crime, or a killing... death becomes abstract... as if the solution to the mystery had priority." "It's like reading a thriller." "And yet Marie-Christine is dead... and so is Massoulier." " From here, our town looks lovely." " When I started in business, whenever a customer hesitated..." "I'd bring him here to convince him." "Behind those little lights, there are all sorts of people:" "watching TV, night shifts, sleeping children... and our killer, who'll be sore as hell when the cops pick him up." " Let's go." "No, let me drive." " Why did you kiss me?" "There are no cops around." " Who knows!" " Another riddle." "Inquest in DOUBLE MURDER AT A standstill lNQUlRY begins;" "city CENTRE AND shopping STREETS MOURN." " Just browsing?" " l'll pay, but it's not worth it." " What do they say?" " Almost nothing." " "lnquest in double murder at a standstill."" "It's awful!" " We didn't dream it." " There's another possibility:" "the guy we slugged is a big shot and the cops want the whole network." "What's that?" " lt's for Massoulier's funeral." " For today?" "You've got to go, Barbara." "We can't afford to neglect a lead." "(footsteps resounding)" "(organ music)" " Not this!" "I won't stand it!" "Take that wreath away!" " We are gathered to accompany Jacques Massoulier to his last home." "The mass for his eternal soul will be offered by his brother, Father Claude Massoulier." " "May the peace of Our Lord be with one and all forever and ever."" " l wonder who invented you!" "Who said the priest looked like a killer?" "He was investigating on his own." "It was his right." "We're doing the same thing!" " l was wrong to go by looks." " To go by looks!" "Even while I was fighting him, I thought he looked like a nice guy!" "Naturally, with your imagination... you figure the real killer looks like a priest." " Oh, please..." " Hello." " Hello." " l'm here for the secretarial job." "The ad in "Le Provençal"." " Oh, the ad!" "Well, things have happened since then." " You got someone?" " No, the job is open." "Well, it should be." " May I see the director?" " Mr. Vercel is out of town." " For how long?" " Don't you read the papers?" " No, the ink smears." "I hate dirty fingers." " Are you a secretary?" " l do what I'm told." " You take stenography?" " Those pencil notes?" "is it really necessary?" " lt comes in handy." "Can you type?" "How fast?" " l type, but I'm no speed demon." "I type with one finger." " Only one finger?" " This one." "It's enough." "Let me show you." " Fantastic!" "And you're a blonde." " Yes, I am." "So what?" " lt's an asset." "Mr. Vercel hates brunettes." "In fact, he fired me." "I'm leaving." " Maybe he has other reasons." "He may want to rejuvenate his staff!" " Thanks, I feel better." "It's a pity Mr. Vercel's away." "He'd be very interested in you." " l'll leave you my phone number." "He can call me." "Almost 4 p.m. I've got to run." " Mail." " Thanks." " A bill, another one... publicity..." "Ah !" " What is it?" " Nothing." "An anonymous letter." " Let's see." " lt's for me." " l want to see it." ""You little intriguer, why don't you mind your own business?"" "See, "little intriguer"." "When I say it, you don't believe me." "We're not getting anywhere." "All we've done in 3 days is to bash a priest... and to get anonymous filth." " Do you want to turn yourself in?" " Never!" "I'd rather die." "But we've got no more leads." " l've got a lead." "It's the "Red Angel."" "First..." "The Eden is a crummy movie house that conceals a chain of cabarets." "Second..." "The cabarets conceal a prostitution ring." "When a hooker is arrested, she's released within the hour." "Because her working card says she's a hostess for "The Red Angel."" "Thanks to Louison... I'll bore from within." " What does Louison do?" " The oldest profession in the world." " You know her?" " Almost." "But thanks to her... we'll find out what Paula Delbèque won't tell us." "Do I look plausible?" " Plausible as what?" " That's all I wanted to know." " Got a light?" "Do you wear pantyhose?" " No, stockings." " Then, let's go up." " No way!" " Why not?" " lt's your mustache." "I can't stand it." "Try another girl." " Who is she?" "She turned me down." " Hear that?" "The new one picks her johns." " l'll handle her." " This is our beat." " Louison told me to work here." " Let's find out." " Right, let's go ask Louison." " Let's go." " What do you plan to do about the lights?" " You getting cold feet?" " Because customers..." " Excuse me." "What are you doing here?" "You're not supposed to come inside." " There's a mix-up." "She says you hired her." " We'd never hire a brunette." "They don't make enough to buy new shoes." " She says Louison hired her." " You know Louison?" " Yes, I know her." " You know her?" " l know her and she knows me." " Where did you meet?" " ln Nice. I worked there." "She suggested I come..." "and work for her here." " Louison said that?" " Yes, she did." " Louison, a visitor!" " What is it?" " This broad says you hired her." " Have we met?" "I didn't hire her." "I don't know you." " And she thought you were a dame." " Me, a dame?" "I've been called lots of things, but till now... no one's ever called me a dame!" "The things you hear..." ""DELBÈQUE-MASSOULlER, Inc."" " Do you have a cigarette?" "A light?" " You want me to puff it for you?" "Beat it!" " Wait till we're alone." " Hey, you!" "You can't hang around here." "On your way!" "Go on to Marseilles." "There's lots of work there." " ..." "And the platform goes down." " The platform goes down and the girls up!" "(voices )" " You feel better?" "No hard feelings?" " No, you were right." "I was wrong." "But I'm scarred..." "so I only get 100 Frs." " That's less income... so you'll have to work more." " Thank you." "But I've got no right to accept it." " Since when are you so virtuous?" "(phone ringing)" " Get me Louison." " l'll get my brother." "It's Paula!" " Coming." "Paula?" " He's coming to see you." " No kidding!" " Are you sure?" " Yes." " Let me take this call upstairs." "Hold on." " Okay." " l've got the letters." "He'll have to pay." " What will you do?" " Don't worry, I won't mention you." "It'll soon be over." "Oh, it's you?" "Come in." "They were well hidden." "I looked all over." "You can stop worrying." "You know where l found them?" "They were in a shoe box!" "How about a bonus?" "I kept a few." "(struggling)" " Who was it?" "Tell me his name." "It was a man?" " Warn Paula..." "Hurry!" "(humming)" " What?" "!" " l must see Mr. Clement." " He's usually here at this time, but today he's out." "It's strange, he didn't call." "You can wait here." "BEAUTY SALON TO RENT" " l'll wait in his office." " ls the boss back?" " lt's the dame from the Vercel agency." "She's nervy!" "She crashed his office." " You let her?" " She just bolted past me!" "(war movie sounds )" " Hello?" " What happened?" " Call the police." " One:" "Massoulier." "Two:" "Vercel's wife." "Three:" "The Eden cashier." "Bodies right and left." "Make up your mind." "Are you with us or against us?" "(radio):" "And now, a third murder." "Following the shooting of Jacques Massoulier... and the killing of Marie-Christine Vercel... the latest victim is the cashier of the Eden... stabbed to death an hour ago in the darkened cinema." "The circumstantial evidence points to Julien Vercel... who disappeared 3 days ago." "A city-wide search is under way for Vercel." "The police blocked all the city exists." "The killer's arrest is imminent." " Mr. Clement, please." " Hold on." " l've got to see you right away." " Did you hear the radio?" " This is goodbye." "Thanks for everything." "You did your best." "You meant well." "I've got to go now." " To the police?" " No, I'm going to see my lawyer." " You're mad!" "There are roadblocks all over." " l'll go by the sea." "My lawyer set it up." " Please, listen to me... don't leave." " l know what I'm doing." " Or take me with you." " lmpossible." " Because you despise me?" " l don't despise you." " Well, I despise you... and moreover... I love you." "A blind man could see that!" "You've never looked at me as a woman." "Since I'm not a platinum blonde with fake eye lashes, I haven't got a chance!" " Barbara." " Shh." " For every roadblock." " Ask me the question you asked before." " l'm asking you." " The answer is yes." " You're taking me?" " No, I need 24 hours." "I'll call you tomorrow... and you'll join me." "I feel like a complete idiot." "Does it mean I'm in love?" " l've felt that way for the past 6 months." "I can't wait." " Wait for what?" " Wait for next Sunday." " Hear that?" " l hear nothing." " lt's not normal." "We always hear street noises." "Take a look." " No... it's quiet." "Everything's alright." " Barbara... it's been two minutes since I kissed you." "I know who the killer is." " Good work!" " You've been despicable all along!" "I didn't kill Massoulier, I didn't kill my wife... I didn't kill the Eden cashier." " ls that your story?" "We could write a book about your wife." "Did you know she married you under a false name?" " You're real funny." " lt's no laughing matter." "Your marriage isn't valid... because under her real name of Josiane Kerbel... was married to a Belgian horse trainer." "He went to jail for doping a horse." "He always claimed she did it." "Meanwhile, she was living it up." "An ex-lover was blackmailing her, so she drove to France." "She got drunk and ran over a soldier." "She drove off leaving him to die on the road." "So aside from Interpol, insurance companies were on her trail." "Here you are!" "We've got your client... and all your legal wiles won't get him out." "Let me go on with the report on his wife." "It's very interesting." "We'll skip the rubber checks." "She lands in Nice and opens a beauty salon." "When you married her, she heaved a sigh of relief:" "She needed to lie low at that time." "How's that?" " lt's still funny." " Yes, she needed time... but with Massoulier around, it wasn't easy." "I never speak ill of the dead... but if it wasn't for Massoulier, all this mess..." "Little boys play with toy railroads, stations, houses, cars, garages." "Later on, they find out they can't all belong to one man." "They learn to share, to go into partnership." "Massoulier had remained a little boy:" "He wanted the beauty salon, the cinema, the cabaret, the brothels, he wanted them all!" " Damn it!" "I remind you that 3 persons were killed after Massoulier." "So there's another little boy in this town who refused to grow up!" "(arguing)" " l must see Mr. Santelli!" "Excuse me for interrupting... but I've got some information." " Busybody!" " Let her talk." "All leads are useful at that point." " A detective agency in Nice was hired to investigate on Marie-Christine's past." "It was a phone request by an unknown client." " Yes, it's in the file." " Well, I decided to call the Nice agency... and I learned that the client... sent them a picture of Marie-Christine in a typed envelope." " Do you have the envelope?" " lf l get it, can you identify it?" "In 3 days, I can trace any typewriter owner." " Wait..." "The detective has just left home." "By now, he should be in the office searching for the envelope." "As soon as he does, he'll call us here." "I gave him your phone number." " Thank you for your cooperation." "You may go now." " May I read my client's statement?" " Certainly." "It's short and sweet:" ""l didn't kill Massoulier, nor my wife." ""l didn't kill Louison, or the Eden cashier."" "It's not much help." "(phone ringing)" "Santelli speaking." "I don't know. I'm busy." "I'm tied up here for at least an hour." "It's very simple, honey." "Use the potatoes while they're hot." "You may burn your fingers, but never mind." " l get it, darling." " Then, you pour the white wine on the potatoes, but slice them thin." "Got it?" " Yes, but hurry because the kids have to go to school." "The table's set and we're waiting." " Cut it out... I need the line for an important call." "Bye, darling." "It was my old lady." "What are you doing?" " Your conversation made me hungry." "I'll just hop out for a sandwich." " They can send someone for it." " l prefer to take a walk." " Come with me." " Don't lose him." " Okay." " ls Lablache still on the line?" " He's on hold." " lt looks as if my lawyer will be needing a good lawyer." " Hold on, Mr. Lablache, Mr. Santelli wants to talk to you." " Lablache?" "Santelli speaking." " l'm still here." " lt's working as planned." "He just left." "He's about to call you." " Tell me what I should say." " Just keep him talking till he hangs himself." " l'll hang up." " Fine." "We'll both hang up!" "Come down, Miss-know-it-all!" "She did well in the role of my wife." "We had to needle the lawyer." "Did you see him with those cigarettes?" " l planned to nail him... while he was helping me run away." " He could've killed you." " lt's true." "When did you suspect him?" " l never trusted him since he handled my divorce." "I had to slap him down." " What for?" " To make him remove his hand from my bra." " A groping hand doesn't always mean a killer..." " Or else, Jambreau'd be in jail for life." " Okay, but while I was waiting in his office... I noticed something suspicious." "I leaned against the wall." "It led to Marie-Christine's former beauty salon." "A fantastic gimmick to have a secret affair in a small town." "I also noticed a card from the Lablache agency and a picture of Marie-Christine in Clement's arms." "It all added up." " He's just gone into to phone booth!" " Lablache speaking." " Last week, I requested a little inquest." "I mailed you a picture in an envelope." " l see." "I just got to the office." "I don't know if it's still here." " l'm pretty sure it's been destroyed." "Mr. Lablache, are you a gambler?" " When the odds are good." " l'll bet a handsome amount you won't find that envelope." " What do you mean by handsome amount?" " 15,000 Frs." " But destroying evidence..." " Who says it's evidence?" "You simply won't find... an envelope that was discarded in a wastebasket 3 days ago." "I'm willing to bet 30,000 Frs." "It's my final price." "Forget all I said." "You were putting me on." "The die is cast!" "Give the envelope to the cops... but keep Marie-Christine's picture." "I killed her because she no longer loved me," "Massoulier because she asked me to." "I killed Paula because she guessed the truth and Louison because he was blackmailing me." "I was about to kill Vercel." "I don't belong to the brotherhood of men." "Everything I've done was for women." "I like to look at them and to touch them." "I enjoy giving them pleasure." "Women are magic, so I became a magician." "In one minute, there'll be another corpse here." "I see them approaching." "Sorry to let you down, you've just lost 30,000 Frs." "(gunshot)" "DVD subtitling:" "CNST, Montreal"

"2 hours later" "We have unconfirmed reports that the suspect,terry lee wicker is wanted for recent murders in the las vegas area." "But for now,authorities will only say that he is armed and extremely dangerous and that they are very concerned for the ten-year-old boy abducted yesterday outside a school in boulder city." "Reporter kelly walker was there for this morning's press conference." "Clark county sheriff diego nunez delivered a stark assessment of the suspect this morning, saying that this child abduction was not wicker's first." "The fbi told us wicker kidnapped a four-year-old in new york city six years ago and the boy hasn't been seen since." "We want kobe farentino back safe and sound in boulder city and we're not going to stop until he is, but we're gonna need the public's help." "According to the sheriff,wicker is six feet tall, thin with brown hair." "He is 35 years of age." "If you see him... excuse me,sir." "My son's not feeling well." "I think you need to get him off the bus,see if I can find a doctor." "hillside,AZ" "Jack malone,fbi." "Gil grissom,las vegas crime lab." "Nobody touched anything except lenny." "He got here about 10:00." "Saw the bus to the gate at auto lot." "Realized all the keys in the lockbox were missing." "Does lenny know which car was stolen?" "He's not much of a record keeper." "Any kind of a surveillance system here?" "No,sir." "Think this wicker's involved?" "Bus driver said he dropped him off nearby." "Do you know if any of the businesses around have security cameras that would catch a piece of the street?" "See what I can dig up." "That'd be great." "Thanks." "So what do you think?" "I think somebody rubbed up against this door recently." "This is where the car was." "Right." ""Rift of..."" "drift off." "Otc sleep medication." "That'd be enough to subdue the kid." "Yeah,but nobody sleeps forever." "Without A Trace Season06 Episode06 Where Why hillside,az" "malone." "Are you two still in hillside?" "No,it's just me." "Gil grissom's headed back to vegas to finish processing gina farentino's car." "What's going on?" "It's more than likely that wicker's gonna abandon the car he stole, so we're checking rail yards and airports within a 200-mile radius." "Any luck finding any known associates?" "Well,wicker has a sister listed as an emergency contact at his last known job." "We're trying to track her down." "What kind of work did he do?" "He worked maintenance on the railroad and got fired about nine and a half years ago." "That fits perfectly." "Explains why he travels on trains." "We have a home address?" "He had an apartment in astoria about ten years ago, but a neighbor said he disappeared after kobe was born and then gina moved out two weeks after that." "That fits the timetable of jason's adoption." "Yeah,and since we don't know the identity of his birth parents, it's possible that kobe is jason taylor." "You should bring in his sister,see if she can confirm it." "las vegas,nv" "happy birthday mom boulder city,nv" "Yeah,that's definitely him." "That's the man that picked kobe up." "And you just let him?" "Normally,kobe walks home." "He didn't need permission to leave school grounds." "Did he seem alarmed?" "No,no." "But why would he?" "The man who come by the school earlier that day with kobe's mother." "Is that him in the green shirt?" "No." "Hey,miss farentino." "Hi,mr.Polchek." "Kobe,your mom's here!" "No,you don't have to interrupt him." "Kobe,come here!" "It's lunch." "I'm not interrupting anything." "Mom,I got a "perfect" on my history test." "Hey,kobe." "This is your uncle." "Terry." "You know,from back east." "He's a friend of the family." "Your mom tells me you're quite the artist." "I'm okay." "I'm not in town very long,mr.Polchek." "Could I go look at kobe's pictures?" "I'm sure we'll have time for that later." "I'd like to see them now." "We got about 20 minutes before class." "Why don't you go through there to the office?" "Tell them I said it was okay." "Kobe's a good boy,but he needs a male influence in his life." "I thought an uncle was a good thing." "Did he talk to anyone later?" "His friend angelica." "I'm gonna need to speak to her." "Of course." "Gina must be worried to death." "This is 11:50 this morning." "No front plate." "Arizona,not a requirement." "I didn't see the boy." "Well,maybe he's asleep in the back seat." "Maybe." "What is that,a late '80s buick?" "Vivian:" "That would be my guess." "All right,I'll update the apb." "Viv,we know wicker abducted jason taylor six years ago in new york." "Now,if kobe's our kid,how did wicker lose track of him and then have to abduct him again?" "Well,maybe gina was in on it originally, but killing the baby-sitter wasn't part of the plan." "So she got scared and ran." "Wouldn't you?" "She shouldn't have stopped running." "Mr.Polchek tells me that you're kobe's best friend." "Best school friend." "You're not friends outside of school?" "He plays soccer." "I play piano." "Um,did he say anything about the man that he met yesterday?" "It's okay,honey." "He said it was a secret." "You know,angelica,there,there are some secrets that are not so good, and I'm just trying to make sure this is not one of them." "Kobe said he was gonna go look at the art projects." "That's on my game last week." "I scored a goal." "It wasn't like the winning goal or anything." "Well,still,that'S... yeah,it was cool." "I wish I could have seen it." "Be nice to hang around together,wouldn't it?" "I guess." "You know,kick a ball,eat hamburgers,that kind of thing?" "You're gonna have to ask my mom." "All right." "your mom doesn't think this is the right time for te to mell you this,but,um... tell me what?" "I owe you a big apology,kobe." "I wasn't smart before,and I ran out on you and your mom." "I'm your dad." "My dad's dead." "I understand why she told you that." "She was just trying to protect you,but look at me." "I'm definitely not dead." "Listen,you can't tell anyone we had this talk,not even your mom." "Not yet." "Why not?" "I'm setting up this vacation for the three of us, and if we tell her,she might not want us to go right now." "So you want to go on vacation,don't you?" "Where are we going?" "First stop's here." "Maybe we'll do some camping." "You like camping,don't you?" "Yeah,me,too." "I think it's gonna be a great adventure." "Did he say where they were gonna go?" "Tucson." "tucson,az" "Jack malone,fbi." "How you doing?" "Deputy wheelock." "The buick from your apb's right over there." "I think we may have found something of interest next to this structure." "There's some dirt here that's been recently disturbed." "Do me a favor,will ya?" "Go have yourself a cup of coffee." "Yes,sir." "yeah." "Wicker bought two roundtrip tickets from tucson to new york." "The gate agent screwed up and didn't realize he let wicker on the plane until he got home and saw him on the news." "What time did the plane land?" "About an hour ago." "We sent units,but he was nowhere to be found." "Okay thanks." "There's a reason he came back." "Well,from what we've been able to find out he spent a lot of time in the area, and I suppose there's comfort in the familiar." "Yeah,but he's a fugitive." "It doesn't make any sense for him to come back to a place where he'd be identified." "Could be he thinks the vegas luck rubbed off on him." "We were able to get a hold of his sister." "She should be here in about 20 minutes." "hopefully,she can tell us where he might have gone." "Does she know he's here?" "No." "She hasn't talked to him in a long time." "Command post." "Yeah,sure." "Thanks." "That was security." "Csi grissom from las vegas is here." "New york here?" "Lobby here." "He's on his way up." "Grissom." "What the hell are you doing here?" "Hello,jack." "You know,when I asked for the evidence to be transported to new york," "I didn't expect you to deliver it personally." "These are my boxes." "I want to make sure I get them back." "Also,I have news." "When they exhumed the child's body in tucson, it was clear from the state of decomp that it had been in the ground a long time." "I also found a circular stain on the clothing around the child's neck." "Whatever made the stain had been removed." "And what would that be?" "I don't know yet." "I have more work to do." "Would you,uh... have some place where I could do it?" "We have... we have a lab in the base... oh,elena." "Agent delgado,I'd like to meet las vegas csi gil grissom." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you,too." "Would you mind escorting him to the lab?" "The,um..." "Oh,okay." "Um,let's take the rear elevators." "I never even met the baby." "Terry and gina were married before he was born, and the relationship ended almost immediately." "Your brother was introduced to kobe as an uncle, so I'm assuming they were estranged." "terry... has a hard time connecting to people." "Do you really think he took kobe?" "Oh,yeah,we're positive." "Well,I'm sure gina's scared, but there's no way he's going to hurt their son." "How long since you've seen your brother?" "must have been about six years ago." "Sylvia." " Hey!" "Terry." " Hey." " How are you?" " Good." "Good." "It's been two hours since you called." "I was beginning to think you weren't coming by." "I just took me a little while to get here." "I brought you something." "Aw,you didn't need to do that." "You're my sister." "You like it?" "Yeah." "I just..." "I just think you should use the money to take care of yourself." "I'm fine." "Well,thanks." "Hey,before we go in,I just..." "I need you to know that I'm seeing someone now." "Oh,yeah?" "Roger." "He's got two kids." "That's great." "Yeah." "But that means that you can't stay with us." "Not this time." "We just don't have room." "We can't have you hanging around for two weeks only to disappear without me knowing where you're going." "The kids wouldn't know what to make of that." "I'll find someplace else." "Terry..." "I just think you got to get your life together." "You were so happy when you were with gina." "I screwed it up." "So it didn't work out." "Try again." "You know,go back to the therapist you were seeing and figure out what happened." "I better go." "He called collect once more to ask if he could come by and stay." "And I said no." "He hung up,and that's the last I heard from him." "Do you have any idea what therapist he saw?" "Someone through the union." "I don't know his name." "Okay." "I'd like your permission to get your phone records." "See if we can figure out where he could have called you from." "You just need to sign right here." "You know... terry was in jail once for stealing." "Has he done something like tt haagain?" "We have strong evidence linking him to recent murders in the las vegas area." "What?" "oh,my god." "No,that can't be true." "You approach with stealth." "Something I picked up in 'nam." "Um,I'm samantha spade." "You called upstairs." "Oh,right." "I mentioned the gift card that I found in my report, but I thought maybe your team would like to have the actual evidence itself." "Thank you." "Um,you get any prints off of it?" "Just smudges,small ones." "Probably belonged to a child." "You know,I hope you won't take this personally,but it smells down here." "Does it?" "Of chemicals." "okay,then." "Well,it was nice meeting you." "Jack." "I,uh... checked the dental records." "The body from tucson is jason taylor." "Right." "There were no broken bones,no blunt-force trauma,no obvious signs of violence." "But without tissue,I can't determine cod." "I doubt the cause of death is going to be any consolation to his parents." "No." "I'm about to run a 3d algorithm on the shirt fragment to see what was around his neck." "I'll get you an image as soon as I have one." "Thank you." "These are murders that fit his pattern:" "Victims near railroads,women covered with blankets." "Now here's what's interesting." "When wicker was able to communicate with his sister, he would go by and visit her or call her after every murder, but he'd murder with less frequency." "After their break in communication,the frequency of his crimes increased." "Now how long after that visit did he kidnap jason and kill the babysitter?" "Three days." "Now gina used to live in that neighborhood while wicker was in jail." "If kobe had the same babysitter as jason, maybe wicker went by there looking for his son." "Well,he obviously had some emotional attachment to jason." "If not,he wouldn't have buried him the way he did." "He thought jason was his son." "He buried him with something important around his neck." "And since he went back for it,maybe whatever it is, he's using it to make a connection with kobe." "Hopefully,this buys us some time." "That gift card that grissom turned us on to was swiped in astoria." "Where?" "Welling and 30th." "Hold on a second." "You know,wicker lived out in astoria in '96." "I'm pretty sure about that." "Let's see... it's right here." "Yeah,732 north hampton." "Say hi,mommy." "Jack." "Go ia bodyt n here." "my dad went to new york and all I got was this stupid murder weapon." "You know,this fits wicker's mo." "Home invasion,find a weapon on-site." "Kill the resident,except this time,he left the weapon." "I don't think wicker came here to kill." "This is where he lived when kobe was an infant and his life was the most stable." "My guess is,he's trying to recreate that." "Hey,grissom." "We got lipstick." "According to the landlord,weiss didn't have a girlfriend." "Maybe wicker does." "I had no idea." "I haven't seen terry in years." "Part of me always worried about what became of him." "Well,we subpoenaed your records, and they show that you treated mr.Wicker about nine and a half years ago." "That seems right." "Did he mention kobe in your sessions?" "Yes,frequently." "What was his wife's name again?" "Gina." "When gina had the baby,terry had a steady job." "He seemed stable and happy maybe for the first time in his life, but it didn't last." "When I treated him,he was having difficulty managing his anger and his home situation was deteriorating." "Let's talk about how you can communicate those feelings of anger." "That's why you're here." "Let's get it straight:" "I'm here because that union rep said so." "Considering your outbursts at work,do you disagree with her?" "Only thing I know is I got this bad feeling inside me and where it wants me to go is nowhere good." "Is this a new feeling?" "No." "Wasn't there when things were going good:" "Kobe was born, when I worked downat the yard,regina wasn't all over my ass." "How about before that?" "Did you have that specific feeling before?" "Sort of,I did." "Well,if we can find out what caused it,we can stop it." "Tell me the first time you felt this way." "You can't go back to work until I sign off on it." "Around the time I was a kid." "My dad used to drag me and my brother to look for buried treasures." "He had one of those metal detectors." "One day he found this medallion thing in the dirt." "A gold lion." "I remember how much I really wanted it." "But he always gave the best stuff to my brother." "Dad was so excited,he ran to the truck to get the camera." "All I could hear was this... hissing in my ears." "Like those bugs down south,what do they call them?" "Cicadas." "It kept getting louder and louder." "I just wanted to stop the noise." "I found a rock." "He never saw it coming." "When I get mad like that..." "I don't see straight." "What happened to your brother?" "I was just making that stuff up." "I didn't hurt him,okay?" "Can we find something else to yap about?" "Terry,I think you're telling me this because you're afraid you're going to hurt your son or gina." "This is over." "Terry... doc,look,I got to go." " Please sit back down." " I said I got to go!" "I checked with the county sheriff." "Their records showed that terry's brother died from head wounds in an accidental fall." "Did you see wicker again?" "No." "Now did the medallion that he was wearing look like this?" "Well,it was an animal." "Yeah,it looks like the same thing." "I was told that you wanted to talk to me." "Yeah." "I analyzed the lipstick from the cup." "The brand name is chameleon,the color:" "Crimson ride." "The sample also showed traces of spermicidal lubricant." "Well,the last outgoing call from the murder victim's apartment was to a pager." "Three minutes later,wicker got a return call from a payphone in battery park." "You know,in vegas,we would speculate that that call came from a lady friend." "An escort." "A hooker." "In new york,we just call them hoes." "Where's terry wicker?" "Who's that?" "This guy right here." "We traced your pager and weisot h g number." "We also know that you called him back on a payphone." "And if I did?" "Excuse me a second." "If you did,I'm willing to bet that this lipstick matches the lipstick we found in the apartment along with the fingerprints, and then you can explain to us how you know absolutely nothing about the dead body we found there." "Hold on." "I didn't have anything to do with that." "So what were you doing?" "When terry paged me,I thought it was for his usual." "hey... what brings you to town?" "Make him stop crying." "Honey,you know I'm not into that kind of thing." "Make him a sandwich or something." "You're gonna pay me a hundred bucks to make the kid a sandwich?" "There's nothing I could do." "The guy had to go." "Why?" " Why did he..." " Stop crying!" "Honey,let the boy go." "I'm sure there's something i could do to help you calm down." "I told you to make him a sandwich." "All right." "I'll make him a sandwich." "Everyone's gonna get a sandwich." "I know!" "I know!" "I know!" "I know!" "I know!" "I know!" "You know what?" "I know there's nothing you could do." "I'm okay." "Tell her to go." "And we can watch the tape again." "I'd like to watch the tape again." "That kid saved your life." "It was a creepy scene." "That's why I jammed out of there as soon as I could." "You got to believe me:" "I have no idea what happened." "Any idea where he went?" "I didn't want to know." "But I know he was driving." " I saw some keys on the counter." " Keys?" "What kind of keys?" "For a toyota." "The kid's playing along to stay alive." "Yeah,but wicker's not stupid." "He's gonna figure it out sooner or later." "And when he does... he's not gonna need the kid anymore." "Wicker's been in new york for nearly two days and nypd lists 28 stolen toyotas in that time." "Well,we need to narrow it down by borough." "Now the apartment where ed weiss was killed is near laguardia." "So let's focus on queens and work our way out." "You know,I'd wait on that." "An assault took place 30 minutes ago in newark and it was linked to a stolen toyota." "The witness id'd the subjects as kobe and wicker." " Thomas mitchner?" " Yeah." "You seen these two?" "Yeah,that's the guy who sliced me." "Why don't you tell us what happened." "Well,I came to paint the trim on the place here." "Needed to move my truck closer,but the car was in the way." "I had seen a guy walk away about 20 minutes before, so I talked to the kid." "Hey,kid." "I need to offload my compressor." "When's your dad coming back?" "He's not my dad." "Okay." "Got any idea when he's coming back?" "Not really." "Look,I know it's none of my business,but do you need some help?" "I don't know." "Maybe you could call my mom." "What's going on?" "I need to park my truck here." "I'm leaving right now." "Is everything all right here?" "Yeah." "Why wouldn't it be?" "Well,the kid wants me to call his mom." "Kid wants an x-box,too." "Why don't you get him one of those while you're at it?" "Why don't we just wait and call the police?" "Back off!" "I called the cops right then." "Please tell me that kid is okay." "We haven't located him yet,but you probably saved his life." "All right,you take care." "Thank you." "You know,kobe only ran off an hour ago." "They might still be in the area." "Yeah?" "Hey,jack,it's martin." "It was definitely them." "And the boy made a run for it." "Any violence?" "Terry sliced a witness with a knife." "I'm gonna need some support for house-to-house." "I'll call it in." "Great." "Thank you." "Wicker and his son were seen fighting." "Apparently,wicker assaulted the witness and then took off after the kid." "Now it's possible that the kid figured out what his father really is." "That would shatter wicker's fantasy." "Wicker doesn't tolerate conflict." "Nearly everyone he's had a run-in with has ended up dead." "According to his pattern,he'll kill the kid and jump the next train out of town." "Jack,forget the pattern." "He broke the pattern years ago when he had an emotional connection to one of his victims." "Wicker took the time to bury jason taylor's body." "Then he called his sister." "Did you find kobe?" "No,not yet." "Ms.Wicker,we're going to need your help." "What do you mean?" "Well,if your brother's patterns remain consistent, we believe that he's going to call you." "And when he does,we'd like you to talk to him for as long as possible." "Oh,my god,did he hurt kobe?" "We're not sure." "I've been thinking this whole time about my brother, and there's just no way he would've done those things." "He just wouldn'T." "Ms.Wicker,I'd like to show you some pictures." "This is gaby lawson from wyoming." "Emily temper from new mexico." "And tamara fox." "Tucson." "You recognize the je lry?" "he gave them to you,didn't he?" "Well,all of these women are dead." "And I know that it's hard for you to believe that he'd be involved in something like this,but he is." "So do we have your cooperation?" "Transferring to the hard line." "we're in." "You can go ahead and answer." "hello?" "Hey,syl,it's me." "Hi,terry." "How are you?" "Oh,okay,I guess." "Just thought I should check in." "He's using his cell." "It's pinging off a tower in south newark." "Uh,that,that's great." "I-I'm glad." "I've been,I've been thinking a lot about you,terry,and,um..." "I don't know." "You don't know what?" "What's going on?" " Are you crying?" " No.No,I'M... it's,uh..." " are you okay?" " Yeah." "You sound kinda strange." "I can'T." "Sylvia." "What's going on?" "Terry... this is special agent malone from the fbi." "Do not hang up." "Where's sylvia?" "She's sitting here right next to me." "Okay?" "You put her back on or I'm hanging up." "No,no,don't you hang up,okay?" "Right now,I have her for possession of stolen jewelry from the women that you killed." "I have enough to charge her as an accessory to murder." "What do you want?" "I want you to let your son go." "I want you to turn yourself in." "And your sister?" "She walks." "Look,terry,I know you want to stop." "That's why you called your sister." "That's why you took your son." "We both know that you're afraid of killing him,too." "You don't know what you're talking about." "Yes,I think I do know what I'm talking about, and I think you know what I'm talking about." "Terry,come on." "Listen to me." "We can make a deal." "I got a visual on the suspect." "Late model pickup." "I'm not sure if it's wicker." "Remember,we got to take him alive." "He's the only one who knows where the boy is." "You alone?" "What do you think?" "I got fbi agts crawling all over this place." "But they don't do anything unless I say so." "Guess that makes you the big boss,huh?" "Not right now." "Not while you have the boy." "Where is he?" "I need to see my deal." "Yeah,I got it right here." "Show me!" "Not until I see your son." "Where is he?" "Is he in the truck?" "Doesn't matter." "It matters to me." "You want to cut a deal for your sister or not?" "I want to see the boy." "Believe me,I,I didn't want to hurt him." "You run away from me,huh?" "I mean it!" "I promise!" "I won't do it again." "No." "No,please." "I won't do it again." "I promise." "go." "Go." "Kobe." "Run." "Run!" "come on,terry." "You're a cold-blooded killer." "You honestly expect me to believe that you just let him walk?" "He's my son." "I couldn't hurt him." "Let's say I believe you." "Your sister still wants to know if he's okay." "She know what I done?" "Hey,I'm not gonna lie to you,terry." "I told her everything." "But you have a chance to fix this." "What she say when you told her?" "Look,I'm not here to talk about your sister,all right?" "I'm here to close the deal." "I want your son." "Come on." "What am I gonna do now?" "Who do I got left?" "You got plenty left,terry." "You can keep your sister out of prison." "Just give me your son." " Tell her I'm sorry." " No!" "he's not in the truck." "You'd think the kid would have gone to the police by now." "He's a kid." "He's scared." "Where do you think he's hiding?" "The one place his father told him he'd be safe." "There's a warehouse rail staging area a quarter of a mile east from where kobe farentino ran off." " It's at meeker east of newark avenue." " Okay." "Meeker,east of newark avenue." "Great." " Jack and martin will be there in 20 minutes." " Okay." "it's okay." "We're here to help you." "Come here." "your aunt's here." "Okay?" "six years ago I got a phone call about jason taylor, and I drove out here and I looked around and I just thought," ""how the hell can anything bad happen here?"" "It hasn't changed much in six years." "Yeah,well,six years of not knowing must have changed something." "Ever think about hanging it up?" "Every day." "At least you got your pay." "I do,yes." "What do you got,jack?" "The people that we get back." "'Cause there doesn't seem to be enough of them anymore." "Want to come in?" "I'd rather not." "Me neither." "Without A Trace Season06 Episode06 Where Why"

"Historical film in 6 parts A biography of the great general of the Roman army" "Gaius Julius Caesar" "Produced by "CINEMA-FILM-MIJ," Rome" "MONOPOOL-FILM of International Film Rental" "Sales Office" " JEAN DESMET in AMSTERDAM." "MAIN CHARACTERS THE FIRST PART" "Julius Caesar finds Servilia, the kindest and youngest of the powerful Cato family" "More pleasant than the noisy party of young people..." "The insouciance of youth takes completely for granted the entertainment and the enjoyment of love." "A few months later" "The strict discipline that prevails in Servilia's family is the reason that Julius can only see his beloved under cover of darkness." "Servilia goes with Julius to the temple of the goddess Hera, protector of marital fidelity." "Before the altar of the goddess, they take vows of eternal fidelity, and their secret marriage is blessed by a priest." "Lutatius, head of the Cato family, which also includes Servilia, has, however, promised her to Marcus Brutus as a wife." "Julius is seen as he leaves the house of the beautiful Servilia." "The secret visits are reported to Lutatius." "Lutatius, knowing of the relationship between Julius and Servilia, wants to speed up the marriage between Servilia and Marcus Brutus." ""You will marry Marcus Brutus ..." "If you refuse, then the powerful dictator, Sulla, who is on our side ... will ensure that Julius Caesar is sentenced to death."" ""Stop ..." "I agree!"" "The last meeting." "At the news of what is about to happen to his beloved," "Julius decides to end his own life." ""It's not for me ... think of our son!" "... Yes ..." "I have to live for our son!"" "Goodbye, Servilia!" "I swear that I will keep our secret until death." "Also, our son will never know who his father was." "Servilia married Marcus Brutus." "At the wedding, she hides her pain behind a smile of pride." "Confession." "... I am a mother!" "Kill me if you wish, you have a right to do so ..." "Our family knows how to die!" ""No!" "..." "Live with your shame!" "..." "That will be your punishment!" "... "" ""It will be an honor for me to bear it."" "To avoid any suspicions by Marcus Brutus," "Julius married the noble Cornelia." "But neither family happiness, nor the birth of his daughter, Julia, made him forget his pain." "The Romans were wary of the tyrant and dictator Sulla." ""Be on guard, Julius, for the dictator Sulla. "" ""This, unfortunately, could cost you your life."" ""Are you here, Julius?"" ""Know that your presence here is very unwelcome ..."" "... "But, Dictator, I am a citizen of Rome ..."" ""Remember, Julius, that to contradict and oppose my will means death ..."" ""Julius, only the intercession of the Vestal Virgins has saved your life."" "Despite the protection of the Vestal Virgins," "Cornelia, wife of Julius, fearing the wrath of the dictator, urges her husband to flee before it is too late." "Julius to Servilia." "Abandon Rome, but do not run." "Sulla remains very powerful." "Our son must live." "Farewell, Rome!" "..." "Capital of the eternal kingdom!" "..." "Today I leave your gates behind, but my enemies will tremble upon my return!" "During the seven years of Julius's voluntary exile in Asia," "Brutus, the young son of Servilia and Julius, receives his first lessons as a member of the Cato family, and the child gets into his head the idea that Rome should remain a republic." "Little by little, the idea in the young Brutus grows to hatred of his unknown father, Julius, who was not a follower of the Republican Party." "His mother, Servilia, tried persuasion to moderate" "Brutus's hate against Julius." "For her promise to Gaius, she had to hide her secret and not tell her son who his father was." "The death of the dictator Sulla (in 78 BC) brings an end to his terror, and joy to a large part of the Roman people." "Upon the news of the death of dictator, Julius decides to return to Rome after an absence of seven years." "Julius has developed his own powerful voice, while in Asia, in his hometown." "His plans have solidified." "Rome trembles." "Rome has its hopes on him." "Julius knows he must win all the people with his kindness." "He receives a visit from Tertullian, the wife of the rich and powerful Crassus." "Julius, you will be surprised." "Tertullian has come to visit." "For a long time she has been interested in your efforts and your work." "At the home of Tertullian, the wife of Crassus, where the friends and supporters of Gaius Julius meet for his election as consul." "In the competition for the Senate seat, there were noisy debates between the supporters of Cato's Republican Party and the followers of Julius." "Julius, how dare you oppose the will of the Senate?" "Don't you fear being called an enemy of the Republic?" "If you are an honest man, show that you have received notice." ""Take ... read!" "..." "And see how Julius acts."" "Cicero to Julius" ""Many have already won for our part," "But beware the character of the intransigent Cato and his party." "God forbid that we should again have a tyrant like Sulla."" "Tertullian, who admires Julius, introduces him in her home to Pompey and other powerful and influential men." "Julius tells Pompey of his great plans, i.e., his election as consul and control of the Roman legions." "Now begins the glorious campaigns by Julius." "One year later" "Tertullian is going on ahead to meet Julius, who is returning to Rome with his invincible legions from Iberia (Modern Spain) to be the first to greet him as a future consul." "Although Cato, with his great eloquence, has argued against the election of Gaius Julius as consul nevertheless, he hailed the Senate the next day for making Julius consul." "Ten years later" "Julius, who long cherished a plan to use the" "Roman legions to penetrate even into the land of the Gauls" "(Modern France and Belgium), enlisted Pompey to help win acceptance of this plan." "He gave his last daughter, Julia, to Pompey as his wife." "The glorious campaigns and how much Julius aided the interests of the Republic are minimized by Brutus's teachers, who presented Julius as hostile to the Republic." "Irmidia, a powerful Gallic Vestal Virgin, requests a hearing with Julius Caesar." "Despite the precautions that Tertullian took, she intended to go to Caesar." ""Abandon your plans, oh Caesar!"" ""Because I predict that your trip to Gaul will cost many lives."" "More, perhaps, than even you suspect."" "Tertullian sacrifices herself for Caesar." "She receives the murderous knife blade that was meant for him." "The people give their luck to Caesar and his legions as they depart for the land of the Gauls and hope that they will also return as victors." "Druids (Powerful priests and priestesses) make sacrifices to the gods and pray that they will protect the" "38 Gallic tribes against domination by the Romans." "Vercingetorix, king of the Arverni, is appointed supreme commander of the Gallic army." "Irmidia, the powerful Gallic Vestal Virgin, is inconsolable, having failed in her attempt on the life of Caesar." "She wants to cut off her arm, because it was too weak to bear the knife to kill him." "You saved my arm." "I will give my life for the fatherland!" "Alesia's siege by Roman legions." "Gallic reinforcements arrive by a secret path." "The city is besieged by the Romans." "The commander orders the Gallic captains to send messengers to all the tribes to send aid to Alesia." "One of the messengers is captured by the Romans." "TO ALL GALLIC TRIBES, FIGHTING FOR YOUR FREEDOM" "THE ROMAN EAGLE WILL THREATEN YOU TOO!" "WAIT FOR THE SIGNAL FROM VERCINGETORIX, OUR CAPTAIN" "The Roman's signal." "The alerted Gauls go through the secret way into the besieged city." "At the first light of dawn, the Gauls are ready to storm the Roman camp." "Guided by the heroic Camulogenes, the force approaches the edge of the fortifications erected by the Romans." ""Free Gaul commands you:" "Flee, Romans, or Caesar's ambition will find its grave here!"" "The Gauls are too few against the Roman legions, which are well trained in the art of war, and must retreat." "Catapults wreak havoc among the Gauls" "With great effort, the Gauls escape for a short time from the Roman warriors But in the end, they are captured and taken before Caesar." "The Gauls vainly seek refuge in Alesia but the fortress is in the hands of the Romans by nightfall." "After the defeat of the Gauls." "Conquerors and conquered." "Friends and opponents of Caesar meet in the "Curia Hostilia"" "(Meeting of the Senate) news of the desperate struggle of the Gauls." "We bring good news!" "Posts tell of the victory of the great Caesar." "VERCINGETORIX IS A PRISONER OF CAESAR." "The Roman eagle now rules all of Gaul." "The glorious victories inflamed hatred between members of the" "Republican Party of Cato and the supporters of Julius Caesar." "Most Senate members vote to deprive Caesar of his status as consul." "The eloquent arguments by Curio, a supporter of Caesar, are in vain." "Cato's party is too strong." "Marc Anthony, Curio and other supporters of Julius Caesar leave after being ejected by the "Curia Hostilia."" "In Ravenna, Marc Anthony and his friends hear the news of the hostile attitude of the Senate to Caesar." "The next morning, the delegates send Senate officials to the camp." "The spokesman is Brutus, who does not know that Caesar is his father and sees in him only a powerful opponent of the Republican Party." "Hail, Gaius Julius Caesar" "You are ordered to dissolve your legions and surrender the title of consul." "My legions will themselves respond to the Senate And do not be afraid ..." "Your life is sacred to me." "Caesar made known to his captains the message from the Senate." "Hail, Gaius Julius Caesar" "You are ordered to dissolve your legions and surrender the title of consul." "The leaders, who knew Brutus was against Caesar, played with dice as to which one of them would kill Brutus." "However, the watchful father loves his son's life and protects Brutus." "Stop!" "..." "Do not go out with a dagger in the dark." "I will not tolerate murderers among my men!" "This life is sacred to me." "Do not expect me to thank you!" "I will despise them all my life, as they are enemies of the Republic." "Caesar's legions retire to the river Rubicon." "(The Rubicon is considered to be the boundary of Italy)" "The big event of Roman history." "Romans marching on Rome!" ""Alea boasts est!" (The die is cast!" ")" "The Roman eagle moves against its own country." "In Rome there was great commotion about the progress of Julius Caesar and his legions." "Always forward!" "With great fear the Senate decides to place Julius Caesar outside the law." "With fear and joy, Julius Caesar is acclaimed by the Roman people." "Not servitude!" "..." "Not slavery!" "..." "My invincible eagle will provide glory and freedom." "Without listening to the words of the temple guardians, Caesar profanes the temple of Saturn, and takes the treasure to provide food for his troops." "Without listening to the words of the temple guardians, Caesar profanes the temple of Saturn, and takes the treasure to provide food for his troops." "Caesar, stop!" "..." "You are defiling the temple!" "..." "The treasure is inviolable!" "Saus populi suprema lex!" "(The welfare of the people is the supreme law!" ")" "The enemies of Caesar left Rome." "In addition, Julius Caesar's ally, Pompey, has joined the enemy." "At Dyrrnachium (Durazzo in Albania), the first galleys arrive with Pompey's troops." "The next day." "Cato and Brutus blame Pompey, who was doubtful about Caesar." "Caesar marches against Pompey's legions." "Caesar gives the order to his captains to preserve the life of Brutus." "At a sign from Caesar, hidden warriors appear." "The camp of Pompey is completely surrounded." "When the dawn tints the sky, the armies face off ..." "Caesar, rich in ideas, orders a new battle plan, and advances his archers." "Pompey follows the old methods and struggles to lead his troops in rows of lockstepped soldiers." "Man against man!" "Romans against Romans!" "Pompey's troops struggle heroically but in vain." "Again, the brave have to retreat." "Pompey's army retreats in a disorderly flight." "But even in the wild chase, Caesar's commands are followed and" "Brutus is captured and brought before his as yet unknown father, Julius Caesar." ""I despise you!" "It is only due to the gods that you are the winner." "Otherwise ..." "Now I ask you to kill me."" ""No." "I want you to live for the homeland." "Rule the Gauls that I have conquered!" "With so much grace, Brutus bows his head." "The vanquished Pompey seeks refuge in Egypt." "Caesar's eyes follow as Pompey's ship flees." "Show Caesar Pompey's head, which was finally taken by King Ptolemy." "The latter believes that he is doing a service to Caesar." "Pompey!" "..." "I did not want your death!" "In Rome, the winner receives the highest honors, and offers a symbolic parade of his many victories." "All Rome is now under the rule of Caesar," "Who is appointed dictator for life." "The hatred of the party grows even greater." "A secret visit." "To Marcus Brutus" " Greetings!" "THE REPUBLIC OF ROME HAS SUFFERED THE TYRANNY OF THE DICTATOR TOO LONG," "AND CANNOT BEAR THIS SITUATION ANY LONGER." "THE REPUBLIC IS IN DANGER!" "... BRUTUS, ARE YOU SLEEPING?" "..." "ARE YOU NOT STILL BRUTUS?" "A FEW DAYS LATER" "Brutus returns to be fully influenced" "Casio's house is the head of the conspirators." "Caesar will be overthrown." "Trust, however, to luck and throw all caution to the wind." "Beware, great Caesar, the Ides of March (March 15)" "I am telling you what your loyal friend's signal to the conspirators is." "As someone puts his hand on the left shoulder of Caesar, it's time to end his life." "So save the Senate from Caesar." "I do not want members of the Senate to be watched by my soldiers as if they were enemies." "The Ides of March (15 March 44 BC)" ""Remember, Caesar, the Ides of March have come."" "In the most terrible moments of his life," "Julius Caesar does not see that he knows his enemies." "Him...?" "!" "Ruunt fata!" "On one hand the domination of the world, on the other hand, his son." ""And you, too ... my son Brutus?"" "Next to the body of Caesar, Marc Anthony swears revenge." "Servilia is worried by rumors in the street." ""I have killed Caesar ... and I've saved the Republic from destruction!"" "Brutus!" "..." "You wretch!" "..." "What have you done...?" "He was your father..." "At the funeral ceremony, Servilia bids her final farewell to Julius Caesar, who never stopped loving her." "Marc Anthony reminds the crowd, with inspired words, of the great deeds and the merits of Caesar." "Not dead in any battle, he was killed by a murderer!" "The enthusiasm of the crowd reaches its climax when Marc Anthony reads Caesar's will, which provides for the assets to be bequeathed to the people." "The people avenge Caesar's murder." "Now the murderers suffer the same fate they delivered to the greatest general and statesman of Rome." "The fire that burns Caesar's body destroys only his body, not the fame of his glorious victories." "Julius Caesar is immortal in world history."

"Starfleet didn't send us out here to humiliate ourselves." "How long were we in orbit, grovelling?" "Six days?" "Five, sir, and it wasn't exactly grovelling." "Apologising, asking forgiveness... just because we ate lunch in front of them... on our own ship months ago." "I call that grovelling." "They were offended." "The Kreetassans manufacture plasma injectors." " We need one." " So we spend six days grovelling." "Five days." "Then when they finally agree to talk to us... we go down." "And what do they do?" "They keep us waiting for 12 hours and then send us packing." "No explanation, no plasma injector." "Just leave, go back to your ship." "We obviously offended them again." "Maybe my hair's parted on the wrong side." "I'm exhausted, and I've had it with these people." " Go ahead." " The three of you are clear to go." "But I'm afraid I'll need to keep Porthos for a while." "What's the problem?" "He picked up a pathogen of some kind on the surface." "Neither decon agent has been effective." " What are you going to do?" " I'm not sure yet." "I'll let you know as soon as I've run some tests." "Feel better, Porthos." "Doc will have you good as new before you know it." "I might even break the no-cheese rule tonight." "Sorry, fella." "You got to stay." "It's been a long road" "Gettin' from there to here" "It's been a long time" "But my time is finally near" "And I will see my dream Come alive at last" "I will touch the sky" "And they're not gonna Hold me down no more" "No, they're not gonna change my mind" "'Cause I've got faith of the heart" "I'm going where my heart will take me" "I've got faith to believe" "I can do anything" "I've got strength of the soul" "And no one's gonna bend or break me" "I can reach any star" "I've got faith" "I've got faith" "Faith of the heart" "We're playing with fire, Captain." "It's just a matter of time before this injector gives up the ghost." "You've got four more." "The ship can run on four." "Yeah, but it can't run on three." "You know what happens at warp speed... when you've only got three plasma injectors online." "What are the odds of us losing another one before we find a replacement?" "I'm not comfortable with four, Captain." "We need five." "What the hell happened down there, anyway?" " T'Pol thinks we insulted them again." " How?" " You didn't eat cabbage before you left." " I was a perfect gentleman." "We're going to have to go somewhere else to find your injector, Trip." "These people are impossible." "Their components are metallurgically sound, dependable." "We could look for six months and not find anything half as compatible." "You're a trained diplomat." "Take the high road." "There's got to be some way you can kiss and make up." "I'll have T'Pol see if she can find out what we did." "But I'm not promising anything." "I went to Decon." "I thought you were down there with Porthos." "Is every..." "It's all right to pet him." "You'll have to use the isolation gloves." "Did you run your tests?" "His autoimmune system is collapsing." "I've isolated the pathogen, broken down its protein sequence." "I can't explain it, Captain." "It shouldn't be affecting him like this." "But it is." "So what are you doing?" "Running more tests." "I'm sure I'll come up with something." "How sure?" "Could this be life-threatening?" "It's too early to tell." "Didn't we send his genome to the Kreetassans along with ours?" "I transmitted them myself before you left Enterprise." "Shouldn't they have noticed there's a pathogen there... that his immune system can't handle?" "They should have, assuming they took the time to check." "I'm told I've offended these people twice." "Once for eating in front of them." "The second time, I don't know what for." "But if their carelessness has hurt Porthos... or, God forbid, ends up killing him... they're going to find out what being offended is all about." "Porthos has no intention of giving up." "And neither do I." "You hear that, boy?" "We're all pulling for you." " Did you reach them?" " Yes." "And?" "I think we should discuss this in your Ready Room." "Well?" "Do you recall the stand of trees outside the Hall of Diplomacy?" "What are you talking about?" "They're Alvera trees." "Over 300 years old." "That's fascinating." "Did you apologise for whatever we did wrong?" "Are we going to get our plasma injector?" "The Kreetassans consider the Alvera trees cultural treasures." "Apparently, Porthos urinated on one of them." " And that's what they're insulted about?" " It is understandable." "Maybe if they had bothered to read the genetic profile we sent... they'd have told us to leave the dog on the ship." "Then he wouldn't have had an opportunity... to pee on one of their precious trees." "I conveyed your sincerest apologies to the Chancellery." "They're discussing possible acts of contrition." "Where the hell do you get off conveying my sincerest apologies?" "They're the ones who should be sorry." "I don't need to remind you that Commander Tucker is relying on us." "There are some things more important than plasma injectors." "Are you referring to your pride?" "I'll tell you one thing, Subcommander." "If anything happens to Porthos..." "I'll be the one watering their Alvera trees." "If you were a married man..." "I'd be wondering if your wife had thrown you out." "I just thought it might cheer Porthos up if I slept here tonight." "That is, if it's all right with you." "I don't think your dog is in any condition to know whether you're here or not." "Then maybe it'll cheer me up." "Be my guest." "Take your pick." "How's Porthos doing?" "My sub-mammalian database contains no pertinent files on Bugles... but there's sufficient information on similar chordata." " Beagles." " Yes." "Let me ask you a question, Doc, just out of curiosity." "Are there any dogs on your home world?" "The Denobulan Lemur is highly sought after." "It's not exactly a dog, but you could say it's doglike." "It has a tail, fur." "Most have one head." " Did your medical training include any..." " Captain, please." "You needn't be concerned." "I hold six degrees in interspecies veterinary medicine." "I thought you were just, you know, a people doctor." "As a matter of fact, I've also earned degrees... in dentistry, haematology, botanical pharmacology..." "I'm impressed." "So, how's he doing?" "I believe I've eliminated the pathogen." "The question is whether my treatment... will stabilise his autoimmune system before..." "Before what?" "In a few hours, I'll have a more detailed prognosis." "Before what, Doctor?" "There are many harmless strains of bacteria that can become lethal... when the immune system is compromised." "But it is too early to be thinking about that." "Now we should both try to get a few hours of rest." "If there are any changes in his vital signs... the alarms are quite loud." "Good night." "I would have brought you some cheese... but Dr. Phlox wouldn't have let me give you any." "Doctor, are you all right?" "I'm sorry, Captain." "Did I wake you?" "Just trimming my toenails." "They grow quite rapidly." "Have to keep them groomed at least once a week." " Just wanted to be sure you're okay." " Thanks for your concern." "Good night." "I'm sorry, Captain." "Did I wake you again?" " What the hell's going on?" " Feeding time." "Don't be greedy." "How long was I asleep?" "Nearly an hour." " Does this go on every night?" " Only when I'm here." "They're very demanding when they know I'm in Sickbay." "Great." "Porthos?" "I'll still need at least a couple of hours." " Is he comfortable?" " He's fast asleep." "I'm glad to see someone is." "I'll check back in a couple of hours." "How's your dog?" "Nice of you to ask." "We'll know in a couple of hours." "Have you heard from your friends on the surface?" "Not yet." "I guess they haven't finished compiling their list of punishments." "They're not interested in punishing you." "They only want an appropriate apology." " I'm sorry." " For what?" "Just practising." "You shouldn't have brought your dog on a diplomatic mission... especially considering we had previously offended the Kreetassans." "They knew we were bringing him." "We even sent his genetic specs." "They could have asked us to leave him behind." "They didn't." "Porthos has the right to a little fresh air." "You're once again ignoring the consequences of your actions." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You obviously place more importance... on the quality of the air your pet breathes... than on the quality of the plasma that drives your ship." "What the hell does one have to do with the other?" "Isn't it logical I care about my ship... and my dog?" "I'm not questioning your pluralities." "I'm questioning your priorities." "I really thought you were beginning to understand something... about human feelings." "Not when it pertains to primitive quadrupeds... who haven't developed the ability to speak or to use a toilet." "What's the matter?" "I obviously can't keep up with you." "T'Pol." "We've just received a transmission from the Kreetassans." "It's their reconciliation demands." "The Captain's not going to believe this." "You'd be surprised, Hoshi." " Captain, I didn't..." " It's all right, Ensign." "We're on our way." "This isn't so bad." "I was sure there'd be something here about standing on one foot... with my eyes shut, reciting The Night Before Christmas." "I'm going back to Sickbay to see if I can get an hour's sleep... before the Doctor's results come through." "Tell me if this fits with your definition of an appropriate apology." "Do we have a chain saw on board?" "What's happening?" "He's going into anaphylactic shock." "His body's rejecting the treatment I selected." "You said we'd know in a few hours if this would work." "Exactly." "It's not working." "Is he going to die?" "Fill this with 5 cc of tetrasol." "It's the blue fluid, second on the right, 5 cc." "5 cc." " I don't think so." " What?" "You asked me if he was going to die." "Are you trying a different treatment?" " Let me guess." "We'll know in..." " A couple of hours, yes." "How are things progressing with the Kreetassans?" "They've got a perfectly good plasma injector sitting on a shelf somewhere." "But will they share with us?" "Not until I make a fool of myself by going through... some series of ritual apologies." "The fact that Porthos is on death's doorstep... doesn't seem to bother any of them." "They're the ones who should be apologising, not me." "T'Pol thinks I care more about my dog than my ship." "Isn't that delightful?" "Why does T'Pol's opinion concern you?" "She's my science officer, my second-in-command." "She should know, more than anyone aboard... how dedicated I am to this mission." "To every member of my crew." "You didn't answer my question." "Porthos has one paw in Beagle heaven... because these jerks didn't bother to look at his genetic profile." "Am I supposed to ignore that?" "I would think you'd be more interested in Commander Tucker's opinion." "You've known him for many years." "It'd be nice to have all five plasma injectors working... but it's not essential." "We can do fine with four, and the fifth one just started to act up." "We might get another 10 light-years out of it." "Have you considered that... you may be angry at more than Porthos and the Kreetassans?" "What?" "How long has it been since you were intimate with a woman?" "What?" " How long has it been..." " I heard you!" "I suppose you're going to tell me you have a degree in psychiatry, too." "Absolutely." "No way." "Not a chance." "Porthos is the only patient you're treating right now." "You got that?" "Let me know if there's any change." "Why haven't you adjusted your time to our capital city?" "I apologise." "We weren't aware that it was required." "It isn't a requirement." "It is simply a courtesy." "Something your species doesn't seem to understand." "I'll explain it to the Captain immediately." "You might also explain to your captain... that it's been nearly three hours since he received our transmission." "If he has the slightest hope of acquiring any technology from us... he'd be wise to pay us the courtesy of responding." "I understand." "I'll..." "I'll let him know." "Keep your head down!" "No matter what I do to secure her cage, she always finds a way to get out." "I thought you said your bat was terrified of that thing." "It should have been." "Pyrithian Moon Hawks eat these bats." "I know I got the silhouette right." "I mastered the call years ago." "That stuff isn't poisonous, is it?" "No, I'll be fine." "What now?" "We need to find her before we can catch her." "She'll stay up high." "Have you thought any more about why T'Pol's opinion is so important to you?" "It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm hunting an escaped bat." "That's all I'm thinking about right now, Doctor." "That and Porthos." "Sexual tension, Captain." "There's no doubt in my mind." "By the air duct." "Do you see it?" "That's just the filter bracket." "For the past few months, I've noticed increasing friction... between you and the Subcommander." "You must understand I'm trained to observe these things." "With all due respect to your training, you're wrong." "T'Pol and I have been getting along just fine, so let it alone." "When a person thinks sexual attraction toward another is inappropriate... they often exhibit unexpected behaviour." "Such as inordinate anger toward comparisons made... between their ship and their Beagle." "Listen, Doc." " There's no sexual attraction." " She's coming back down!" " Look out!" " Don't let her in the corridor!" "Hey, are you all right?" "What are they trying to do to you?" "Bat." "The Kreetassans called, sir." "What for?" "They're anxious to get your response to their last transmission." "It's the middle of the night." "They also suggested that... we should synchronise our time to their capital city." "Did they?" "It's not a requirement, sir, just a courtesy." "Thank you, Ensign." "How's Porthos?" "I'll let you know in a couple of hours." " Everything okay?" " Nothing new." "I'll stay with him." "Thanks." "Unless you'd like to continue our discussion... regarding Subcommander T'Pol." "We are gathered here today... to bid a final farewell... to a faithful and kind colleague." "A friend who would never hesitate to offer his paw... in exchange for a simple smile... or a slice of cheese." "Like his namesake, this quadruped believed we should stand together." ""All for one and one for all."" "When a person thinks sexual attraction toward another is inappropriate... they often exhibit unexpected behaviour." "Go ahead." "Hoshi, you and the dog are clear to go... but I'm afraid I'll need to keep the other two for a while." "What's the problem?" "You both picked up a pathogen on the surface." "We'll have to try another decon agent." "Feel better." "Tell me, Captain, have you thought any more... about why T'Pol's opinion is so important to you?" "How long has it been since you were intimate with a woman?" "I dreamt..." "Porthos died." "Let's hope your dream wasn't prophetic." "Any indication on how your second treatment's doing?" "It doesn't appear to be doing very well." "An old girlfriend's mother had this Beagle I was crazy about." "Even after her daughter and I broke up, we stayed in touch." "When the dog got pregnant, I was the first one she called." "Four males in the litter." "The four musketeers." "I've had Porthos since he was six weeks old." "I grew up with dogs." "I can't remember not having one." "Did you have any pets when you were a kid?" "My people don't keep pets." "I thought you said something about... the Denobulan Lemur being highly sought after." "Very much so." "Their kidneys are considered a great delicacy." " I thought you might be hungry." " How very kind." "Was there something on their list about apologising on a full stomach?" "You read the Kreetassans' document?" "Sorry." "Sorry, I'm a little on edge." "I haven't slept very much, but I'm doing the breast I..." "The best I can." "I understand." "Ensign Sato and I have broken down the reconciliation demands... into specific categories." "If you're interested in reviewing them..." "My only concern right now is Porthos." " I'm sorry to have interrupted." " No." "No, it's okay." "When you get back to the Bridge, why don't you send me your lips?" "Lisp." "List." "Two Pillarian Slips within 30 seconds." "Interesting." "What're you doing?" "My treatment was effective, at least partially." "His immune system is stabilising... but his pituitary gland was severely damaged." "It's all but disintegrated." "Bring me the small grey cage on the second shelf, with the blue top." " What's in here?" " A Calrissian Chameleon." "Fill this for me." "I'll need to alter its DNA... but its pituitary gland should be compatible with your dog's." "You're performing a transplant from a lizard?" "Unless you have a better suggestion." "It's a shame, actually." "The chameleon secretes a rare toxin... that's useful in treating respiratory infections." "She's the last one I have." "What's the tank for?" "I'll need to super-hydrate the canine... in order to minimise the shock to his pulmonary system." "You're gonna drown my dog?" "Only for an hour, Captain." "There should be no problem resuscitating him... once the surgery is complete." "How many times have you done this before?" "Never." "Has anyone done this before?" "Not to my knowledge." "This isn't some guinea pig you're working on here." "This is Porthos, my Beagle, my pal." "From what you're telling me, the closest thing your people have to pets... are furry little things that go well with onions." "Perhaps you're right, Captain." "Perhaps I'm insensitive to the bond between you... and your subservient quadruped." "I'll leave the procedure up to you." "But whatever your decision, make it quickly." "Just for the sake of argument, let's say... that some of my anger toward T'Pol had a component of sexual tension to it." "I'm not saying it does, but just for the sake of argument." "Yes." "What do you mean, yes?" "You're the psychiatrist." "What am I supposed to do about it?" "Am I supposed to ignore it?" "Am I supposed to say something to her?" " Neither." " Neither?" "If you were ignoring it, you obviously wouldn't be seeking my opinion... especially under these circumstances." "As for discussing it with the Subcommander... that's entirely up to you, but I can't imagine an outcome... that would do anything but make matters worse." "Pass me the auto-suture, please." "The yellow one." "When will we know if the transplant's working?" "One step at a time." "First we need to resuscitate him." "So I can't ignore it, and I can't talk about it." "What do you suggest I do?" "Be aware of it, Captain." "Simply be aware of it." "You'd be surprised what a difference that'll make." "Lower the fluidic temperature 12 degrees." "If Porthos pulls through, will he need a special diet or treatments... having a chameleon's pituitary gland?" "You may have trouble finding him." "He'll have the ability to blend into his background when frightened." " You're kidding." " Yes, I am." "Does your expertise on sexual tension... come from professional training or first-hand experience?" "I do have three wives." " And they each have..." " Two husbands, besides myself." " Sounds very complicated." " Very." "Why else be polygamous?" " So these three wives..." " Each have three husbands." "A total of 720 relationships, 42 of which have romantic possibilities." "You told me you had five children." "How many are there in this whole extended family?" "Thirty-one, at last count." "You must miss them." "You've been away for over two years." "I'm ready for the synaptic inductor, the small blue one." "My children all left the nest years ago, Captain." "I would have never guessed." "You don't look that old." "I'll take that as a compliment." "My two daughters, I'm proud to say, followed in my footsteps." "One is a surgeon." "The other is a biochemist." "How about the other three?" "My eldest son's an artist." "A potter, actually." "He lives in the same town as his mother, creates beautiful things." "And the other two?" "My two younger sons and I never saw eye-to-eye." "I'm afraid we haven't spoken in quite some time." " I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have..." " It's perfectly all right." "You asked me if I missed them." "The answer is yes, every one of them." "The children, the wives, even the other husbands." "But we Denobulans live a long time, Captain... and right now there's nowhere I'd rather be... than serving with the Interspecies Medical Exchange... aboard this wonderful vessel of yours." "Listen, Doc, however this turns out..." "I want to apologise for accusing you of being insensitive before." "As I recall, you accused my entire species of being insensitive." "Then I apologise to you, and all your fellow Denobulans." "I can't speak for the others, but, on behalf of myself, I accept." "And to think T'Pol told me you were incapable of apologising." "Come in." "Subcommander." "Mr Tucker reports that... the new plasma injector is operating well within Starfleet parameters." "Did he tell you they gave us two spares out of the kindness of their hearts?" "Evidently the finesse you exhibited... outside the Hall of Diplomacy was appreciated." "Since I've been getting so much practice giving apologies..." "I thought I might give you one." " That's not necessary." " Yeah, it is." "I've been under a lot of stress lately." "Haven't gotten much sleep." " My dog..." " There's no need to apologise." "Whatever friction there's been between us..." "I'd like to try to minimise it." "Friction is to be expected whenever people work in close quarters... for extended periods of time." "I guess that's always been true." "Especially when the people are of the opposite sex." "Then it's good that you're my superior officer." "That we're not in a position to allow ourselves... to become attracted to one another, hypothetically." "If we were... the friction that you speak of could be much more problematic." "No apologies, Captain." "I promise." "I hear things went very well on the surface." "I doubt I would have even gone down there, if it hadn't been for you, Doc." "I owe you one." "You'll be happy to know, while you were gone, things went well here, too." " The transplant?" " Not the slightest sign of rejection." " Can I see him?" " By all means." "It's been one hell of a night, hasn't it?" "How soon can he leave?" "Now is as good a time as any." " But he's..." " Unconscious?" "Nonsense." "He's just asleep." "Come on, boy." "We're going home." "Sickbay's all yours." "You're welcome back anytime, Captain."

"...in case we miss the train or something." "We have the big place in Yonkers." "Of course." "What'd he say?" "He said "of course."" "We're from Texas originally." "Of course." "What'd he say?" "He said "of course."" "Why does he keep sayin' the same thing all the time?" "My husband's a little deaf." "Of course." "Yes." "What'd he say?" "He said it's as quiet as a tomb here... just what we're lookin' for." "I don't mind a little life." "We'll be dead soon enough." "Come in." "Concrete." "I said, "Come in."" "I'm fine, thanks." "How are you?" "I hope all the tenants aren't as disagreeable." "I can assure you they're not." "The building is very friendly, efficient and quiet." "She got in by mistake, but she's leaving first thing in the morning." "What?" "I said she's leaving the first thing in the morning." "Who?" "My wife?" "You going home to see your mother?" "What's that?" "Canary?" "I love birds." "I said she is leaving the first thing in the morning." "You don't have to shout, and your best friend oughta tell you a little secret:" "Just speak in a low, clear voice." "I said she's leaving the first thing in the morning." "She got in by mistake." "But tomorrow she flies away." "I understand it's a bird." "What about it?" "I like birds." "It's right here." "Duplex." "What's the ceiling so high up for?" "That's what duplex means..." "the one floor up over the..." "You don't keep the apartment very clean." "What's on the balcony?" "You see, the former tenants aren't getting the service." "A little delinquency in the rent." "What's he say?" "I don't like him to talk to me." "He says the former tenants haven't been getting any service." "That's why the place is so dirty." "They didn't pay the rent." "I don't mind a little dirt." "That's the trouble with women..." "always fussing' around lookin' for something to pick on." " You can tell me later, Arthur." " Never satisfied with things the way the Lord made 'em." "Why, dirt's as natural in this world as sin, disease, storms, twisters, floods and cyclones." "Is there anything else you'd like to try?" "What you doin' in the bathtub with a wrapper on?" "I might ask you what you're doing in my bathroom." "I don't suppose you go with the flat." "Nah." "That's too much to hope for." "Thank you." "I'm glad you like my perfume too." "Huh?" "I said I'm glad you like my perfume too." "You have a lovely, clear voice, like a bell." "If I was married to you, I'd hear everything you said almost, but you wouldn't enjoy it." "Besides, I'm already married." "So am I." "Me too." "Anyway, I'd be too old for ya." ""Cold are the hands of time that creep along relentlessly," ""destroying slowly but without pity that which yesterday was young." ""Alone, our memories resist this disintegration and grow more lovely... with the passing years."" "That's hard to say with false teeth." "You're a funny old man." "I didn't get it, but you looked very pretty when you said it." "I love birds." "You do?" "Say, if they're showing the apartment and you're still in it, you must be broke, huh?" "Ah, it doesn't matter." "What did you say?" "Yes." "That varmint renting' it out from under ya?" "Yes." "I know how you feel." "I was broke too when I was about your age, but I didn't have a figure like you got." "I had to use my brains." "You'll get over it." "You'll get over being young too." "Someday you'll wake up and find everything behind ya." "Gives ya quite a turn." "Makes ya sorry for a few of the things ya didn't do while ya still could." " Are you sorry?" " How much rent do you owe?" "Well, that isn't really your business." "I can't hear you." "You're mumbling." "I said it isn't really your business." "I'm in the sausage business." "Don't worry about me." "This'll be a hot one on the wife." "She's down there poking her snoot in everybody's business, egged on by that varmint." " How much do you need?" " Don't be silly." "Will 500 cover it?" "Please don't talk nonsense." "I can't hear you." "You're mumbling again." "You shouldn't mumble, with such a lovely voice." "I wouldn't do this for everybody." "Look, this joke has gone far enough." "You say that ain't enough?" "Well, how much do you need?" "You're just embarrassing me." "That's all right." "Don't mention it." "It's a privilege to do a favor for such a beautiful lady." "It makes me feel young again." "There." "Oh." "Well, how do you suppose it makes me feel?" "I haven't seen anything like this for so long." "You talkin' about the money?" "Forget it." "I'm cheesy with money." "I'm the Wienie King..." "invented the Texas Wienie." "Lay off of'em;" "you'll live longer." "Here." "Buy yourself a new dress, too, and a new hat." "You're a fine girl." "So long." "Whoopee!" "Hot diggity!" "Hello?" "Give me Longacre 5-6599, please." "You see, it's strong and safe." "It's simple and practical." "It lets the light and air through, and it's practically invisible from below." "And it's built right in the middle of the city instead of way out in the sticks." "Excuse me a moment." "Be right back." " Yes?" " Darling, the most exciting thing has happened." "Look, honey, I'm right in the middle of a talk with a very important gentleman." " Could you tell me later?" " Oh, all right, dear." "Of course, this is the big one, but to build a working model in some field or village somewhere... that small planes could actually land on... to prove that it was practical... would only cost about $99,000." "After that, we'd be on velvet." "You see, it's a steel mesh made of stretched cables." "Every municipality, every town, every city needs one." "My patent is basic." "$99,000 is a lot of money." "Oh, but it isn't what it costs;" "it's what it brings you back." "You see, I've got $99,000 now, but if I was to build this thing, I might..." "Let's start all over again from the beginning." "Go ahead." "My time ain't worth anything." "I'm retired." "Psst." "Hey, Mike, come here a minute." "Take a gander inside, will ya, and see if the manager's gone to dinner." "I don't wanna see him face-to-face." "Sure." "But if it's the rent you're thinking about, you can go in and whistle up his nose." "It's paid." "It's paid?" "What do you mean, it's paid?" "It's paid." "Who paid it?" "Your wife." "My wife?" "Well, I'm sure it wasn't mine." "An old man give her the money." "An old man give her the money?" "What do you mean, an old man gave her the money?" "I said I'm taking you to dinner and then the theater and then supper, so hurry up and put on your dinner jacket." "Just a minute." "What's all this malarkey... about some old man paying the rent for you that the whole building is buzzing with?" "Oh, it's not malarkey, darling." "Here's the receipted bill." "You see?" "It says "paid." And I paid the butcher and the grocer and the drugstore." "And I got this dress and had my hair done and six pairs of stockings and some new shoes." "And here's $14 in change." "That's for you." "Isn't it wonderful?" "Sensational." "But you haven't quite answered my question yet." "What question, dear?" "Why this alleged old man gave you..." "How much is it?" "Seven hundred dollars." "Seven hundred dollars." "Why?" "No reason." "Oh, is that so?" "He just..." "Seven hundred dollars, just like that?" "Just like that." "I mean, sex didn't even enter into it?" "Oh, but of course it did, darling." "I don't think he'd have given it to me if I had hair like excelsior and little short legs like an alligator." "Sex always has something to do with it, dear." "I see." "From the time you're about so big and wondering why your girlfriends' fathers are getting so arch all of a sudden." "Nothing wrong." "Just an overture to the opera that's coming." " I see." " You don't really, but from then on, you get it from cops, taxi drivers, bellboys, delicatessen dealers." " Got what?" " The look." "You know:" ""How's about this evening, babe?"" " So this gent gave you the look." " The Wienie King?" "Oh, no." "Oh, at his age, darling, it was really more of a blink." "Really?" "This is very illuminating." "Well, you don't have to get rigid about it." "It was perfectly innocent, I assure you." "Where'd you meet this Wienie King?" "You'll die laughing when you hear." "All right." "Convulse me." "In the bathtub." "In the bathtub?" "Yes." "Isn't that charming?" "Delicious." "What were you doing in the bathtub?" "I was hiding from him." "Hiding?" "What kind of games do you play around here while I'm out?" "I wish you could've seen the expressión on his face." "I'm glad I didn't." "How much water was there in the tub?" "I was standing in the bathtub, foolish." "You were standing in the bathtub?" "In my pink wrapper." "Oh, darling, he was just a funny little old man in a funny hat." " He sat on the edge of the bed and talked for a while." " Oh, he's on the bed now, is he?" "There aren't any chairs in the bedroom, darling." "What was he doing in the bedroom?" "He wanted to rent the apartment, but when he found out we were broke, he gave me $700 and he left." "Just like that?" "Well, I did kiss him good-bye." "Now the truth is coming out." "The..." "Oh." "The truth." "You just tell me where this Wienie King lives, and I'll take his money back to him and tell him what I think of him." "I don't know where he lives, darling." "I don't even know his name, and I don't think they'd give the money back..." "I mean, the grocer and the drugstore and all." "You really couldn't blame them after they waited so long." "That's right." "Rub it in." "Tom?" "Yes?" "It's wonderful to have the rent paid, isn't it, and the bills settled up?" "You feel free and clean, and I like that feeling." "I wish it were always like that." "Don't you think I do?" "I'd almost forgotten what it was like." "I don't look forward to being in debt again, slinking past everybody." "I dread it." "It isn't gonna be for always." "Everybody's a flop until he's a success." "Something's bound to come through." "I got too many good ideas." "Say, there's a $2.00 overcharge here." "Now that everything's paid up, you could move." "Well, where'd we go?" "I wasn't thinking about me." "I just meant you." "Oh, you mean the bust-up?" "Mm-hmm." "When'd you get that idea?" "This afternoon?" "I've had it for some time, but something always said, "Wait till he crashes through." "Wait till he's made one success."" "You'll never make a success with me around." "I'm just a milestone around your neck." "Millstone." "I'm no good for you, darling." "I don't mean I'm not good for somebody, but I can't cook or sew or whip up a little dress out of last year's curtains." "What difference does that make?" "I'm just like a car that only gives seven miles to the tankful, only you haven't got the tankful." "Are you sure you haven't got a tankful?" "You see, by yourself, you could live so simply." "I mean, just a little room anywhere... or maybe move in with your brother or even use the couch in your office." "And you wouldn't keep slipping back all the time." "You could balance what you earned... and look the world in the eye, maybe even get ahead a little." "Thanks." "And what would you be doing?" "Oh, that's no problem." "You can always find a good provider if you really want one." "He may not look like a movie star, but..." "We'll get ahead someday." "But I don't want it someday." "I want it now, while I can still enjoy it." "Anyway, men don't get smarter as they grow older; they just lose their hair." "Gerry." "But I would!" "I'm very tired of being broke, darling, and feeling so helpless about having my hands tied." "I could've helped you so many times, but every time I tried to, you tried to punch the man in the nose." "Don't talk rot." "How about that president of the smelting company?" "That wolf!" "Well, he's still the president of a smelting company." "We might've been in the smelting business now, and paying our rent." "Lovely." "He liked you very much, he said." "The less I hear about that hyena, the better I'll like it." "But that's what's so irritating... to know that I could get you someplace..." "without doing any harm either." "You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." "And instead of that, I have to watch you stamping around proudly, like Sitting Bull in a new blanket, breathing through your nose while we both starve to death." "Thanks." "You don't have to keep saying "thanks" all the time." "I'm not being so nice." "That's the first time I've said it." "If you want a divorce, you're certainly entitled to it." "I don't know where the money's coming from." "The next husband always pays for that." "Oh, you have him all picked out, have you?" "Oh, you're such a child!" "He doesn't happen to be in the sausage business, by any chance, does he?" "I may not even get married again." "I might become an adventuress." "I can just see you starting for China on a 26-foot sailboat." "You're thinking of an adventurer, dear." "An adventuress never goes on anything under 300 feet, with a crew of 80." "You just let me catch you on a 300-foot yacht, or even a 200-foot yacht." "At least I wouldn't have to worry about the rent." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Let's go and have some dinner, hmm?" "How can you think of food at a moment like this?" "Because I'm a woman, maybe, and a little more practical than you." "Are you going to put on your dinner jacket, or shall I take off my new dress?" "Is that a new dress?" "You'll always be a sister to me, huh?" "I know it sounds stupid, but I'm a rotten wife." "I can't sew." "I can't cook." "You certainly can't." "But just because I'm a useless wife doesn't mean I couldn't be very valuable to you as a sister, but very valuable." "I remember that pot roast you tried." "And all the boys who wanted to go out with me... would naturally have to be in your good graces." "Naturally." "Or I wouldn't go out with them." "I'll say you wouldn't." "They'd probably offer you partnerships." "In the smelting business." "In the smelt..." "No." "You could have your choice." "I don't begin and end with a smelter, you know." "I refuse to understand what you're talking about, Geraldine." "They'd work you in on deals... and let you in on all the good things that were happening in the market and that kind of business." "Monkey business." "Well, very few pretty girls' brothers have ever failed, you know." "If they knew enough to come in out of a hailstorm." "In the first place, I don't happen to be your brother." "In the second place, may I ask who are all these men who are gonna faint at your feet?" "You'd think there aren't any!" "I didn't say there weren't any;" "I just said, "Where are they?"" "They're around." "They're always there." "And they make new ones every year." "I don't wanna be rude, honey, but I..." "You're not being rude, dear;" "you're just being yourself." "You see, you're married to me." "That's like saying you're blind to me." "For a long time, I've been a part of you, just something to snuggle up to and keep you warm at night, like a blanket." "But you can't see me any more than you can see the back of your neck." "I've put on new dresses." "I changed my hair." "Would you mind not looking quite so gorgeous while you say all these things?" "You're just plastered." "Yes, well, better get you home before you fall apart." "Or do you object to spending the night under the same roof with me?" "I wasn't thinking about the roof." "Come on." "Just a minute." "I gotta pay the check." "I'll sleep on the thing here." "Well, you know we don't love each other anymore." "We're just habits... bad habits." "They don't make these zippers as well as they used to." "And when love's gone, there's nothing left but admiration and respect." "I think it's stuck." "Will you see if you can get it?" "Come around here, in the light." "Keep still, will you?" "You don't think this is a little intimate, do you?" "Tsk." "Doesn't mean anything to you anymore to sit on my lap, hmm?" "No." "What if I... kiss you there?" "Stop it." "No." "Or here." "It's nothing." "Or here." "You know I'm ticklish." "Then why is your breath coming faster?" "Because you're squeezing me." "That doesn't mean anything to you anymore, huh?" "Almost nothing." "Almost nothing, huh?" "Almost nothing..." "nothing but a habit, a bad habit." "It is, huh?" "Very, very bad and wicked... and stupid and useless... and young and impractical and..." "Yow!" "Oh!" "Oh, darling!" "What's the big idea?" "Darling, read this note." "Huh?" "Good-bye." "God bless you." "Take care of yourself." "Hey!" " Hey, will you wait a minute?" " No, I won't." "I've made up my mind." "It's best for both of us, while we're still young enough to make other connections." "But you're forgetting a little thing called love, honey." "I love you, and you love me." " That's all that matters." "That's all you can take with you." "Everything else is..." "I'm so sorry." "Please accept all my apologies." "Gerry!" "Hey, Officer, hold that woman!" "She stole my suitcase!" "Why, you lying..." "You mean this one?" "That's right." "I'll be right down." "Do I look like a suitcase stealer to you?" "It isn't how you look;" "it's how you behave that counts in this world." "Now, I mind the time, and..." "Oh, wise guy." "Thank you for holding her, Officer." "You wanna prepare charges or something disagreeable like that?" "No, I'd prefer not to." "This is my wife, Mrs. Jeffers." "Mr. Mulligan." "The name happens to be O'Donnell, if it's all the same to you, and I have a good mind to charge you with false arrest, only I don't know if I could make it stick." "Why don't you try?" "Oh, it's too nice a mornin'." "To heck with it." "Why don't you two learn to get along together?" "I had to." "Now what?" "Now, will you come back upstairs and be sensible?" "No, I won't." "Give me back my suitcase." "It was hard enough to make up my mind to do what I know is right." "If I don't do it now, I'll never be strong enough again." "Now, give me my suitcase." "Stop talking like a fool, Gerry." "Where are you going?" "To visit your sister in Long Island?" "Taxi!" "No." "I'm going to get a divorce." "How can you get a divorce without money?" "How can you go anyplace?" "Why don't you be sensible?" "You just got a hangover." "I don't need any money;" "I've already told you." "Taxi!" "Yes, ma'am?" "Where's the best place to get a divorce?" "Gerry, for heaven's sake." "Well, most people go to Reno, Nevada, but for my money, it's Palm Beach." "This time of year, you got the track, you got the ocean, you got palm trees." "Three months." "You leave from Penn Station." "Look." "I'm in awful trouble." "I haven't got a dime." "Would you take me there for nothing?" "To where?" "Palm Beach?" "No, no." "Just to the station." "Oh, sure." "Hop in, babe." "Thanks." "Listen, you." "Listen what?" "Will you give me my suitcase?" "Give the lady her suitcase." "Listen, you!" "Oh!" "Now, look what you've done!" "Look what I've done?" "Yeah." "Look what you've done." "Hey!" "What's the trouble now?" "Taxi!" "Pick this stuff up, will you?" "Hey, you have to..." "Gerry!" "Gerry." "Gerry, stop behaving like a chicken with its head cut off." "You haven't got any money." "Where can you go?" "I got this far, didn't I?" "Gerry!" "Where's my suitcase?" "Listen, honey." "Good-bye." "Gerry, listen to me." "You're making a fool out of yourself." "Officer, this man is trying to molest me." "Will you stop him?" "Where you goin' in such a hurry, laddie?" "Let the dames alone at Pennsylvania Station," "Pennsylvania Station will leave you alone and vice versa." "That's my wife, you dumb cluck!" "So now I'm a dumb cluck, am I?" "I like peace, but I ain't morbid about it." "Stop annoying these dames, or I'll lock you up!" "Last call, Atlantic Coastline," "Florida Special, advance section, leaving through Gate 12 in five minutes." "Attention, please." "Miami Special, due 11:21 track three, arriving 12:04 track six from St. Petersburg, Tarpon Springs... and Sarasota." "Pratt, Ale and Quail." "Billdocker." "Hitchcock." " Hotchkiss." " I see we got the club again, Ed." "You're tellin' me." "Just let 'em try and start somethin'." "Hot dog." "Is there anything the matter, lady?" "Oh, I'll be all right." "I'm sure they'll come with my ticket." "Did somebody forget your ticket?" "I'm sure it'll be all right." "It's just that I have to get to Palm Beach." "That's too bad." "Dr. Kluck." "I'm sure they'll come." "I beg your pardon?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I was talking to the gate man." "McKeewie." "McKeewie." "I'm sure my ticket'll come." "It must come." "Oh, yes, it must." "By all means." "Asweld." "You say your ticket didn't come yet?" "You haven't got much time." "No, but it'll be here, I'm sure." "Yeah, well, if there's anything I can do..." "Thank you." "Name, please." "Go ahead." "Hinch and valet." "Hinch and valet." "I'm sure it'll be all right." "Is there something the matter, madam?" "Oh, nothing that anyone can help me with, I'm afraid." "It just looks as if my ticket isn't going to get here on time." "My gracious." "There oughta be some solution to that problem." "I can't think of any." "My gracious." "No ticket?" "No ticket." "Jones." "Jones." "Featherwax." "Featherwax." "Attention, please." "Florida Mail leaving through Gate 9, 11:57." "Newark, Trenton, North Philadelphia," "Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington..." "You'd think one of them would offer a lady a ticket." "Well, I couldn't accept it." "Why not?" "Rich millionaires?" "I have a feeling that everything's going to be all right." "Aye!" "Did it come yet?" "No, but it's all right." "What do you mean, it's all right?" "It's far from all right." "We have a wonderful idea." "The other members and myself, having talked it over..." "We have a private car." "We have tons of tickets." "I could never accept." "We're just goin' to Savannah to shoot quail." "But if you wanna go any further, we'd gladly..." "You can be our mascot." "You must be our mascot." "Do you think it's all right?" "All right?" "It's perfect." "Oh, then thank you for your chivalry, gentlemen." "I accept with pleasure." "The pleasure is ours." "This is Asweld of American Asweldocan." "Mr. Hinch." "You've heard of Hinch's Emulsión, I presume?" " And I'm McKeewie of the Seventh National." " And I'm Mrs. Thomas Jeffers, alias Geraldine." "Geraldine." "And thank you for your chivalry." " Anytime from 8:00 to 12:00." " Gerry!" "Good-bye, dear." "Let me through there." "You got a ticket?" "No, you don't." "No ticket, no passage." " All aboard.!" " Gerry!" "Gerry!" "Hiya!" "Come on in!" "Oh, hello!" "Glad you could come." "Here." "Not while we're on duty." "Thanks." "Who's the head man here?" "You mean the president of the club?" "Whoever has the tickets." "We don't care." "Oh, Ozzie!" "Front and center!" "Oh, this is Mr. Osmond, president of the Ale and Quail Club." "How are you?" "It's about the tickets." "How many in the party?" "How many members in this club?" "Well, there's... there's Ozzie and Hitchie and him and him." "That makes four." "And you and me." "That makes six." "I'm not a member of this club." "Why not?" "Oh, it isn't good enough for you, eh?" "Now, let's get this straight." "How many members are there?" "One, two, three, four, five, six." "Six." "All right." "That's three." "Now, we'll start from there." "You tryin' to make a liar out of me?" "Mr. President," "I move that this member be expelled!" "Second the motion." "All those in favor say "aye"!" "Aye.!" "All right." "We're expelled." "Have a drink, boys." "Okay." "That's four." "That's seven!" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven." "What's the matter with you?" "You cockeyed?" "It ain't me that's cockeyed." "Lookin' for trouble, eh?" "Mr. Osmond doesn't always carry his liquor to perfection." "Now, let's start this all over." "Now, just a moment, Officer." "I'm not an officer." "I'm a conductor on this train." "All in "flavor," say "aye"!" "Aye!" "Opposed?" "Nay!" "Opposition vote." "No!" "Good night." "Good night." "If there's the slightest trouble, just knock on my wall." "Oh, thank you, Mr..." "Don't give it a thought." "As I've so often said at dinners and our little gatherings and..." "Where's your baggage?" "My bag..." "What?" "Where's your luggage?" "What are you going to sleep in?" "Oh, that's quite all right." "I'll just..." "You see, I left so hurriedly." "Why, bless my soul, you stay right here." "I'll have you a pair of pajamas for you..." "What size do you take?" "Never mind." "You'll have to take my size." "They may be a little big, but still..." "Suwannee River" "That's where the old folks stay" "All the world is sad and dreary" "Everywhere I roam" "Oh, darkies, how my heart grows weary" "Far from the old folks at home" "Any calls?" "Hello there." "Where's that pretty girl with the nice figure that lives here that I seen yesterday?" "Who are you?" "I'm fine, thanks." "How are you?" "You must be her husband." "Where is she?" " What's that your business?" " I'm in the sausage business." "Just wanted to tell her we moved in after all." " Took the green apartment down the hall that the opera singer moved out of." " She's gone." "I say she's gone!" "She's gone to Florida!" "She's going to divorce me!" "You say she's gone?" "That's right." "Good for her." "A pretty girl like that can get anybody." "Why hang around with a man that can't pay the rent?" "Look here, you old rattle-brain, you've made trouble enough around here without getting insulting about it!" "Don't threaten me!" "I'm twice your age and only half as big, but I'm mighty handy with a shillelagh..." "I'm sorry." "I guess you didn't mean any harm!" "You're probably very kind at that." "You say she's gone and left you?" "That's right." " How did she go?" "By train?" " That's right." "That's right!" "Why don't you fly down there in an "airy-o-plane" with a bunch of roses in your hand... and meet her when she gets off and bring her home?" "Because I'm not in the sausage business!" "So am I, and it's a good business... if you know where to get the meat cheap." "That's my secret, and I ain't telling' no one." " Have you got money for an "airy-o-plane" ticket?" " No!" "Then why don't you say so instead of standing' there like a big stinkweed!" "How much do you need?" "Open the door.!" "What'd you say?" "Open the door.!" "We want you to hear something." "Oh, but I've gone to bed." "That's all right." "Get back in bed." "We'll put you to sleep." "Come on in, boys." "Take your places." "Now, we all set?" "Everybody all right?" "Sweet Adeline" "Sweet Adeline" "My Adeline" "My Adeline" "For you I pine" "For you I pine" "In all my dreams" "It's supposed to be a gun club, not a blasted singing' society." "Make mine with plain water." "Never mind the ice." "Oughta expel 'em all from the club, the bunch of coeds." ""Sweet Adeline"!" "Phew!" "Never mind the ice." "Just plain water." "Oh, thank you so much." "Bang, bang!" "What are you laughin' at?" "Never touched them." "Is that so?" "Bang, bang!" "I suppose I never touched 'em that time?" "The left one got away." ""The left one got away"!" "You oughta have your eyes examined." "Toss up a couple of crackers, George." "Yes, sir." " Ready?" " Bang, bang!" "I suppose I missed 'em that time?" "Both of'em!" "I suppose you could do better?" "For 50 bucks!" "Fifty bucks!" "Who'll be the judge?" "You'll be the judge." "All right." "Go ahead!" "No." "Not with that old blunderbuss." "I'll use my own gun." ""You'll be the judge"!" "Get me a lot of crackers, George." "I'm gonna take this sucker to the cleaners." ""You'll be the judge." For 50 bucks." "Fifty bucks." "And you'll be the judge." "I'll be the judge." "All right." "Go ahead!" "Yes, sir." "That's 50 bucks." "Bet you can't do it again." "You're on!" "Come on!" "Fifty dollars!" "Fifty dollars!" "Bang, bang!" "Bang, bang!" "Wait a minute!" "You're usin' real shells!" "Well, what did you think I was usin'?" "Bird seed?" "Well, wait a minute." "Two can play at that game." "Why, certainly." "It's lots of fun." "Toss 'em up, George.!" "I wouldn't do that if I were you, gentlemen." "The conductor's apt to get a little irritated." " Will ya toss those crackers up?" " Yes, sir." "Wait a minute!" "You weren't supposed to shoot that time!" "All right." "It's my turn this time." "All right." "Fifty dollars." "I wouldn't do that if I were you, gentlemen." "You apt to do some damage." "Will you toss 'em up, or am I gonna toss you up?" "No, sir!" "I mean, yes, sir!" "Good night, ladies Good night, ladies" "What was that noise?" "We're goin' to leave you now" "Merrily we roll along" "Roll along, roll along Fellas!" "Trap shooting!" "What?" "Trap shooting!" "I wouldn't do that if I were you, gentlemen." "I wouldn't..." "Gentlemen.!" "Gentlemen.!" "Remember we have a lady as our guest." "Gentlemen.!" "Gentlemen, if I were you..." "Why don't you wait till you..." "Gentlemen, please.!" "Sorry." "Oh!" "Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" "Oh, I hope I didn't hurt you!" "That's quite all right." "Just pick off any little pieces you see, will you?" "Ohh." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "Oh, this is awful." "Oh, dear." "I can't tell you how sorry I am." "Don't mention it." "I break them all the time." "Were you climbing upstairs?" "Well, I was, yes." "Just a minute." "I'll help you." "You're much too kind." " Quiet!" " Yes." "Now, you put one foot here and one foot there, and you'll be up in a jiffy." "I'd gladly trade berths with you, but mine has already been slept in." "Oh, no." "I wouldn't dream of it." "You've been much too kind already." "Thank you so much." "Quiet.!" "Is that right?" "You're standing on my hand, but otherwise, it's perfect." "I'm so sorry." "Don't mention it." "You're as light as a feather." "Thank you." "Good night." "Good night." "One there." "One over there." "Yeah." "Heave ho." "The..." "Oh, would you mind giving my foot a little push?" "Gladly." "There." "Thank you so much." "Is something the matter?" "Nothing at all." "Everything is fine, thank you." " Oh." "Good night." " Good night." "She's gone!" "Who's gone?" "Let's organize a posse!" "Hooray!" "Where's the dogs?" "You can't have a posse without the dogs." "Hooray!" "Heigh-ho, the merry-o a- hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go A- hunting we will go" "There's a posse goin' through the train!" "A posse?" "I knew it!" "I knew it!" " Come on, Al!" " A-hunting we will go" " A-hunting we will go heigh-ho, the merry-o" "A- hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go heigh-ho, the merry-o" "A- hunting we will go Go on!" "Go on!" " Fellas, they found something!" "Hooray!" "Yippee!" " A- hunting we will go" " What's going on here?" "Get back to your car!" " Who are you?" "You're expelled!" " Get back to your car, or I'll call the engine crew... and have you locked up.!" "Who brought those dogs in here?" "Get 'em outta here!" "Who fired that shot?" "Don't you know that's a misdemeanor?" "Get back to your car, or I'll wire ahead and have you all locked up.!" "Now, get out of here!" "Get back to your car!" "Go on!" "Get 'em out!" "Get 'em out!" "Heigh-ho, the merry-o a- hunting we will go" " Are you all right?" " A- hunting we will go" "F" " Fine, thank you." "Heigh-ho, the merry-o a- hunting we will go" "A-hunting we will go" "A-hunting we will go A-hunting we will go" "A- hunting we will go Heigh-ho, the merry-o" "Oh, you will, will you?" "Well, I'll show you!" "This is one trip you'll remember." "No, ma'am." "What do you mean, my clothes aren't there?" "They're in stateroom "B," in the private car behind the diner..." "the club car... with my ticket, my handbag, my lipstick and everything." "No, ma'am." ""No, ma'am." You just didn't look." "Oh, yes, ma'am, I looked." "But I didn't see it 'cause it weren't there." "That's why I didn't see it." "I suppose it just blew up." "No, ma'am." "We set it out." "You set it out?" "Yes, ma'am." "The conductor kinda got riled up with 'em, so he just set it out on a siding at Rockingham Hamlet for 'em to cool off." "A very pretty little city." "Never mind the geography." "Where's the conductor?" "He got off at Rawley." "That's where he lives." "Last call for breakfast." "Dining car in the rear." "Very pretty countryside there." "You don't seem to understand." "My clothes are lost." "Shut up." "Last call for breakfast." "No, ma'am." "They ain't lost." "Nothin' ever gets lost on a Pullman." "I recollect one time a lady left a whole pile..." "I just want to get into my clothes." "You can't do that." "What do I go around in?" "A blanket like an Indian?" "I got a brown overcoat." "Well, that's very kind of you." "Hello." "Hello." "What are you doing for breakfast?" "Well, if you don't ask me, I won't be doing much." "And if you do ask me, it might make quite a scandal." "Lady lose her clothes." "You lost your clothes?" "Why, that's terrible." "And my ticket and my bag and my shoes and my makeup, my toothbrush..." "only I don't think I had one." "This is disgraceful." "I'll certainly write to the president of the company." "How could such a thing happen?" "I don't know." "My things seem to have gotten into a car back there somewhere somehow, and now the car just doesn't seem to be there." "Not that car full of drunks, I hope, that they had to disconnect." "Oh, perish the thought." "Well, as soon as we come to a town, I could jump over to a store and jump back." "With a Mother Hubbard." "Well, that's very kind of you." "In the meantime, I suppose I'll have to lie here in this hat rack." "Anyway, I haven't any money for you to jump over to a store." "Oh, I have money." "Oh, you have?" "Oh, yes." "Now, if you could just get to a store to pick out what you need..." " We got a stretcher in the baggage car." " Wouldn't that be stretching it a little?" "Wait a minute." "Maybe we could borrow some odd pieces among the lady passengers." "Oh, murder." "You take that side, and I'll take this side." "Yes, sir." "And I'll take the neck." "Here, we've got some more." "Or are you satisfied?" "Satisfied?" "I could lend you my earrings." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Oh!" "Why, that's lovely." "Now you won't need anything else." "That's what you think." "Yes, ma'am." "If there's one thing I admire, it's a woman who can whip up something out of nothing." "You should taste my popovers." "I'd love to." "The homely virtues are so hard to find these days... a woman who can sew and cook and bake, even if she doesn't have to." "And knit and..." "And weave." "You're joking, but I mean seriously..." "That is a woman." "Were you going to buy me some breakfast, or would you like me to bake you something at the table?" "I like a witty woman too." "Now, what will you have?" "The 35-cent breakfast seems the best at first glance, but if you analyze it for solid value, the 55-center is the one." "I wouldn't want to impose." "No." "Feel free to choose anything you like." "There's even a 75-cent breakfast, if it appeals to you." "We might share one." "Wait a minute." "With two eggs, toast and choice of fruit thrown in," "I'm not sure the 75-cent breakfast isn't the best value after all." "Do we dare?" "I'm not really the way you think I am." "It's just my upbringing." "Oh, waiter." "Yes, sir." "Two 75-cent breakfasts, please." "I'll start with a prairie oyster." "Yes, ma'am." "It's a very tempting choice in the $1.10 breakfast." "Two 75-cent breakfasts." "I'll start with a prairie oyster also, whatever it is." "Make mine on the half shell." "Yes, sir." "Prairie oysters is à la carte." "All right, all right." "They always get the best of you somehow." "Now, you say you have no ticket?" "That's right." "Naturally, I can't buy you a ticket." "I mean, a perfectly strange young woman." "Naturally." "In the first place, you wouldn't accept it." "In the second place..." "There's the expense." "I wasn't actually thinking of that." "Now, I get off atJacksonville." "I guess I do too, unless they throw me off sooner." "Suppose we go to a store in Jacksonville and buy you the few things you need, and then you come with me by boat?" "You won't have had to accept a ticket from somebody you don't know, but you'll still get to where you're going." "I don't have to row, do I?" "Two prairie oysters." "Oh, very nice." "Let's have that one too." "How much is it?" "That is 212.50, monsieur." "We'll take it." "We'll take it." "I didn't expect you to buy me all this stuff." "I really don't think I can accept it." "If you'd just get me a dress and some shoes and a hat, and really more in the nature of a loan." "Nonsense." "It's cheaper in the end to buy good quality... and enough of them so that you don't wear them out." "They last longer, they look better, and there's a certain pleasure to having a change." "Well, that's awfully kind of you." "Are you sure you can afford all this?" "I think so." "We haven't done anything very extravagant yet." "Well, I'd hate to have you end up on a chain gang." "I think we're still perfectly safe." "Oh." "You're really sure it's all right?" "Oh, certainly." "You're not a burglar or something?" "Oh, no." "That was my grandfather." "At least that's what they called him." "Oh." "Yes." "Do you like this one?" "Oh, it's lovely." "But aren't the sleeves a little short?" "Oh, that is for the bracelet, monsieur." "That is what we call the bracelet length." "Oh." "Would you like a bracelet?" " What kind of a bracelet do you mean?" " Any kind you like." "You mean with stones?" "Certainly with stones!" "They are all the rage." "Why not?" "What kind of stones do you like?" "Well..." "Red." "That is all the rage." "You mean like garnets?" "Don't you think garnets are a little lifeless?" "Oh." "Why, certainly." "This is great fun." "I've never bought things for a girl before." "I mean, in any such quantities." "You've been denying yourself, monsieur, one of the basic pleasures in life." "I guess I have." "All right." "Plus tax." "Yes, it's these taxes that get you down." "I keep feeling that two men with butterfly nets... are going to creep up behind you and lead you away." "You're thinking of my uncle." "I'm not the crazy one in the family." "I'm perfectly normal." "Why do you travel around in a lower berth?" "I find it a little stuffy in an upper." "Oh, you mean why don't I take a stateroom?" "Yes." "Staterooms are un-American." "Well, thank you." "Don't mention it." "Now, if you can't think of anything else, we'd better get started." "Just charge everything, please, and have it put in the taxi." "Good day." "Excuse me." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "Forgive me." "I'm so used to buying in stores where I'm known that it totally slipped my mind." "Mr. Ha..." "Ha..." "That's all right." "Don't mention it." "Excuse me, please." "I didn't..." "Good day." "Well, what are you standing there for?" "Where are the packages?" "How about some service?" "Why do I got to do everything myself?" "Is this yours?" "Oh, yes." "Actually, it was my grandfather's, but he didn't like it." "He only used it once." "This was his hat." "Do you happen to remember how much tip I gave the taxi driver?" "Well, I didn't see the coin, but from his face, I think it was 10 cents." "Tipping is un-American." "What's your name?" "Hackensacker." "NotJohn D. Hackensacker!" "Oh, I'm not my grandfather, of course." "He's dead anyway." "I'm John D. The Third." "Well, then you're one of the richest men in the world." "Yes, I suppose so." "I would step on your face." "That's quite all right." "I rather enjoyed it." "Twice!" "You made quite an impressión." "May I get you a rug, madam?" "Oh, no, thank you." "Will you dine on deck, Mr. Hackensacker, or in the saloon?" "We can have it on deck, if you like, but it blows everything all over the place." "There are a lot of inconveniences to yachting that most people don't know anything about." "Give me the peaceful train." "In the saloon, please." "Very good, madam." "See what I mean?" "I just happen to own this thing, or I'd never go near it." "Did you say you wereJohn D. The Third or the Fourth?" "The Third." "The Fourth will be my son, when I marry." "Oh." "Then it really didn't mean anything to you to buy me all those things, did it?" "Well, I can't pretend that it was a great sacrifice, but it did give me a great deal of pleasure." "You like to write in your little book." "It used to please my grandfather." "It's just a habit." "It's nonsense really." "I write things down, but I never add them up." "Where are you staying in Palm Beach?" "Oh, no place yet." "Where are you staying?" "At my sister's." "Oh, yes, the princess." "Or is it the duchess?" "Princess Centimillia." "Of course." "What are you going to Palm Beach for?" "A divorce." "Oh." "Well, you needn't look so sour about it." "Your sister's been divorced five times, hasn't she?" "No, no." "Three." "She was annulled twice." "Oh." "Well, I've never been divorced before." "Good." "By the way, what is your name?" "Oh, Jeffers." "GeraldineJeffers." "Was he brutal to you?" "Oh, not particularly." "A drunkard, huh?" "No, not congenital or anything like that." "Women always protect the man they've been married to." "Yes, I suppose it's human nature." "Did he beat you?" "Not often." "The hound." "Oh, a man's a man, I suppose." "They're all tarred with the same brush." "How brave you are." "When I marry, there'll be no divorce." "That's why I've been a little cautious." "You're afraid somebody'll marry you for your money." "Oh, I expect that." "When money reaches certain proportions, you can't ignore it any more than you can a-a..." "A horse in a bedroom." "I wasn't thinking exactly of that, but it'll serve." "I see marriage as a sort of permanent welding, a growing together of two trees, in spite of anything my sister can demonstrate to the contrary, into a sort of permanent mess... mass, like a permanent grafting of two trees into a permanent graft." "Oh, that one's too easy." "Oh, you mean a permanent graft..." "I get it." "But it doesn't have to be." "It can be very nice, I'm sure." "Oh, it can be." "And after the divorce, you have plans?" "Oh, yes." "Anybody I know?" "I know almost everybody in Palm Beach." "Oh, no." "I haven't picked him out yet." "Just some very rich man." "Some very rich man?" "Oh, I wasn't thinking of anyone as rich as you." "That might get to be annoying." "It is." "Is it?" "No, I just meant somebody who's well-fixed... and could spare the $99,000 without missing it too much." "I'm not quite sure I understand about the $99,000." "Well, you see, he just happens to need $99,000, and, after all, I don't see any reason why he shouldn't get it if I'm throwing it out the windows." "This is your last husband you're talking about?" "Yes." "He wants to sell you for $99,000?" "Oh, no, no." "I don't think he had any such idea at all." "Well, what do you call it?" "Well, I mean, after all, I..." "He's entitled to something." "I mean, he did protect me and give me food, such as it was, and clothes, such as they were, for a few years, and now, if I can repay..." "But the man is a vermin." "No court of law..." " Don't you think I'm worth $99,000?" " That has nothing to do with it." "You're probably worth that, twice that, three times." "But even so, the days of serfdom..." "I mean bondage..." "I mean, the days you bought a wife for a cow are over." "Chivalry is not only dead, it's decomposed." "Well, how much did this yacht cost you?" "That is entirely beside the point." "A woman is not a vessel." "I mean, of all the filthy things I've heard in my life, I still..." "How does he want it?" "In cash, maybe." "In cash." "So I won't stop the check, the scoundrel!" "I don't mean me." "I mean whoever's..." "Oh, well, I don't think he'll ever get it." "It was just an idea." "There is a name for such reptiles, but I won't sully this sweet ocean breeze by mentioning it." "I may not be exactly in the best of shape, but if ever I meet this Mr. Jeffers," "I'll thrash him within an inch of his life." "Oh, then I hope you never meet him." "I suppose he's large." "Well, he's not small." "That's one of the tragedies of this life... that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always enormous." "She's a tall, dark-haired girl with big eyes." "Yes, sir." "You mean the young lady that lose all her clothes." "Lost all her clothes?" "Yes, sir." "But we fix her up with a blanket when she got off atJacksonville." "She got off atJacksonville?" "Yes, sir." "Alone?" "Well, you might practically say she's alone." "The gentleman that got off with her give me 10 cents from New York toJacksonville." "Watch your step, lady." "She's alone, but she don't know it." "Never mind the philosophy." "Then she's atJacksonville!" "Yes, sir." "No, sir." "Oh, she said that he said he was gonna take her down there on his boat." "I suppose she means "yachet," but I don't see how no gentleman can give me a dime... from New York toJacksonville can have a "yachet."" "Maybe a canoe or a bicycle." "Yes, sir." "Hey, let me use these a minute, will you?" "Surely." "Thanks." "Anytime." "I think you'll like Palm Beach very much." "Yoo-hoo!" "Who's that?" "Oh, that's my sister, the princess." "Hello, Maude." "Hello, Snoodles." "Where'd you get the pretty girl?" " Greetings." " She calls me Snoodles." "Is that the prince?" "No, the prince is all washed up." "This is something new." "It might be a duke." "It might be her tailor too." "She goes out with anything." "Hello, darling." "What a perfectly beautiful day." "Were you seasick on the way down?" "Wherever did you find her?" "This is Toto." "Say "How do you do," Toto." "Greetings." "Toto's a refugee from his creditors, I think." "Greetings." "Glad to be aboard, sir." "How are you, darling?" "Hello, Maude." "Hello." "Glad to see you aboard." "You get prettier as one gets nearer." "Thank you." "How did you manage it?" "He's stiffer than a plank." "This must have done him a power of good." "This is my sister Maude, Mrs..." "Don't tell me he doesn't know your name!" "This is perfectly marvelous." "Tell me he picked you up on the train, and you'll make me a happy woman." "Greetings." "All right, you've said how do you do." "Wait till I tell the papers!" "Maude, somebody meeting you, not knowing you were cracked, might get the wrong impressión." "Did he really pick you up on the train?" "I was in awful trouble until he nobly came to my rescue." "Now you've spoiled everything." "I hoped for once he hadn't done anything noble." "What a lovely suit." "He bought me this." "Why, Snoodles, you rat!" "We'll work this into something yet." "This is perfectly electrifying." "You must come and stay with us." "You're divorced, of course?" "No, no, not quite." "Oh, I don't think I'm quite through with the prince yet either." "We can look for new husbands together." "I'm thinking of an American at the moment." "It seems more patriotic." "Greetings." "No, no, Toto." "His English is a little elementary." "What language does he speak?" "I don't know." "I think it's Baluchistan, but it's impossible to tell." "Hello." "Let's go ashore, and we'll have a wonderful time." "You're perfectly respectable, but as long as we don't roll on the floor... and give the butler hysterics, we'll be cooking on the front burner." "I talk a lot, don't I?" "Yes!" "Ah, Snoodles, you snake in the grass.!" "Did you have to get him drunk, or how did you do it?" "Maude!" "Look at that very handsome man." "I wonder who he is." "I don't think I've seen him around before." "I thought I knew all the handsome men in this village." "We could use some new faces." "It isn't possible." "What isn't possible?" "I think I know that man." "In fact, I'm sure of it." "What did you follow me down here for anyway?" "What do you mean, what did I follow you down here for?" "You're my wife, aren't you?" "You're making an ass of yourself, exposing yourself to all sorts of dangers I promised to love, honor and protect you from." "But that isn't fair." "I'm doing this for you too." "I don't want you to do any more." "But, look, I've left you." "I'm not your wife any longer." "Gerry, darling." "No, no." "Stop it." "Well, I must say you do know him!" "This is the Princess Centimillia." "My brother, Captain Mc..." "McGlue." "What?" "Captain!" "We should have met sooner." "If I'd seen you around, we would have." "This is my brother, Captain Hackensacker." "Captain McGlue." "That's an odd name." "Yes, isn't it?" "How do you do, Captain?" "I'm not a captain." "That's my sister's joke because I own a yacht." "That's my sister's joke because I don't own one." "Very glad to meet you." "Your sister didn't tell me she had a brother here." "No, I just dropped over." "You're staying with us, of course." "We wouldn't want to inconvenience you." "Inconvenience us?" "We practically run a hotel anyway." "This will give the servants some exercise." "I won't take no for an answer." "Your brother's a fine-looking man." "You look exactly alike." "I suppose he's married." "No, no." "He's entirely free." "You don't tell me!" "Now, look..." "Her bark is worse than her bite." "That's what you think!" "I wish I hadn't brought Toto along." "Somebody think of an errand to send him on." "Hello." "Toto, this is Captain McGlue." "I'm going to see more of him and less of you from now on." "Hello." "Listen carefully, dear." "I left my handkerchief..." "You go fetch it, see?" "Nitz." "Yitz, Toto." "Nitz." "It'll be nitz to you, Toto." "And now, Captain, you may take my arm." "Uh..." "What did you say you were captain of?" "I didn't say a word about it." "How wonderful it is meeting a silent American again." "All my husbands were foreigners." "And such chatterboxes!" "I could hardly get a word in edgeways." "They make a handsome couple, don't they?" "Pardon?" "My sister and your brother." "It'd be nice if something came of it." "Oh..." "Oh!" "Oh, yes, wouldn't it?" "It would be wonderful for him." "Of course, she's no bargain, but it might happen very easily." "She's a woman of iron determination, and once her mind is made up, he might as well yield." "I can see what you mean." "I'm glad you're gonna stay with us, and your brother too." "Are you?" "I don't know why I didn't think of it." "Or maybe I did think of it." "But it took someone of my sister's courage to make it come true." "You're very sweet." "Thank you very much." "The captain's a big fellow, isn't he?" "Yes, isn't he?" "You look exactly alike." "Yes, don't we?" "You know, people always remark on it." "Why don't you marry her?" "She's lovely." "In the first place, she isn't free yet." "In the second place, you don't marry somebody you just met." "I don't." "But that's the only way, dear." "If you get to know too much about them, you'd never marry them." "I'd marry Captain McGlue tomorrow, even with that name." "And divorce him next month." "Nothing is permanent in this world except Roosevelt, dear." "As a matter of fact, Maude, I'm becoming very attracted to this young woman, more so than anyone I've known the same length of time." "Aha!" "But I want to know how she is early in the morning, late at night, under trying circumstances, as when the servants leave, how she is with children..." "What are you gonna do?" "Rent some?" "Perhaps we could borrow some." "You mean a mock marriage?" "I certainly do not." "I revere marriage, unlike some people I could mention." "Oh, here." "But why Captain McGlue?" "Of all the idiotic names!" "Because I want him to build your airport for you, darling." "He seems to have something against my husband." "I don't know why." "But as my brother..." "Apart from the fact that I wouldn't let him build a chicken coop for me," "I'd still like to know why I'm to be called Captain McGlue!" "Wasn't that your mother's name?" "What?" "Captain McGlue?" "Really, Geraldine!" "Her name was McGrew." "M-C-G-R-E-W." "Oh, well, I'm sorry, darling." "I remembered it as McGlue." "Yes, well, I guess I'm stuck with it now." "Captain McGlue!" "What am I supposed to be captain of?" "A garbage scow?" "I just put that in to make it more dignified." "Couldn't you have been a captain in the last war?" "Sure." "I was 11 years old at the finish." "A captain in knee britches." "What about the Boy Scouts?" "I could go around building bonfires on the drawing room carpet." "I'm sorry, darling." "I really meant it for the best." "I know you did." "That's what's so irritating about it." "Where'd you get the brother idea?" "Because you had your arms around me." "Oh, I suppose no one's ever had his arms around you except your brother, only you haven't got one." "I don't suppose Captain Hackensacker ever put his arms around you." "Of course not." "Yachts must have changed since the last time I was on one." "That's what they build yachts for." "Naturally he will put his arms around me when and if we're engaged." "Oh, we're engaged now, are we?" "Well, is there anything wrong with being engaged?" "You oughta know." "Where'd you get that suit?" "That's what I was telling you about." "What's that you've got on your wrist?" "Just what you think it is, dear." "What kind of stones are those?" "Exactly what they look like." "Do you know what it feels like to be strangled with bare hands?" "Oh, now wait a minute, darling." "I've always been on the level with you, and I always will be." "Here." "What's that supposed to be?" "You put that over on the mantlepiece." "Lovebirds, huh?" "Now, so long as that's there, you won't have the slightest, smallest thing to be unhappy about." "That'll be a signal, and we'll never have to mention the subject." "And that goes for you too." "Huh?" "And your friend the princess you seem to be cutting such a groove with." "Princess." "Say, where'd you get the money to fly down here anyway?" "Same place you got yours, only I didn't have to kiss him good-bye." "Oh, the Wienie King!" "He wanted us to get back together, I guess." "Don't you think we owe it to him?" "Look, why don't you let me go out there and poke that guy in the nose just once!" "Because I've left you, darling, for both our good..." "Now just..." "Excuse me." "Mac, did you happen to..." "You don't mind if I call you Mac, do you?" "Did you happen to bring a tuxedo?" "The business I came here to tend to didn't call for one." "And you can stop pulling my coat." "In a pinch, you can wear one of mine." "In a pinch!" "That's very funny." "I won't be here that long." "Why, Mac!" "That's too bad, old man." "I'd hoped you'd spend the season with us." "There's something I want to talk to you about before you go." "I'm glad you showed up when you did." "So am I. Good." "I needed a male member of Gerry's family." "You have him." "Fine." "Now I have a certain thought." "I have a certain thought also, and it's that bracelet." "Mac!" "I'm very glad you brought that up." "Mac is delighted with it, Snoodles." "He shouldn't be." "He isn't." "The first bracelet my sister got, I punched the fellow in the nose." "Fellow by the name of Wallace." "I can see we understand each other perfectly." "I didn't like it any more than you do this." "You're reading my mind." "Splendid, but there's a difference between Wallace and me." "I'm not interested in Wallace." "There's no reason why you should be." "Now I, on the other hand..." "Look, if I could trust you two boys not to slug each other, I'd like to make an exit right about here." "I feel like a bone between two dogs." "We're going to get along together all right." "There's nothing the matter with my intentions, and Mac will be the first to admit." "The only thing that could embarrass you would be the lovely things I want to say about you... your face, your form, things that a brother is naturally blind to." "Is that so?" "Geraldine's future and this little plan I have..." "What's buzzin', cousins?" "What's the dirt?" "Never mind, Maude." "It's just a little something I want to discuss with Mac." "My dear, when you hear what it is, you will simply expire." "Maude!" "It's too, too excruciating!" "Maude, please!" "He wants a miniature marriage with you." "Go away, Toto." "This is not for children." "You know everything up to the dissolve, and then "Good night, sweetheart." "I'll see you in the morning. "" " What's this?" " The boy wants to bundle.!" "Maude!" "And then he's gonna make you cook and sew and wash the windows, and then he's gonna get some little brats to see if you know how to change them." "But how?" "He's going to rent them!" "Oh!" "Come on." "Let's go someplace." "They want to be alone." "But just a minute." "L..." "Don't take it so seriously." "They want to bake a cake, dear." "They want to bake a..." "I don't know what to say." "I didn't realize it was so humorous." "Did you really want to put me through all that?" "There's no use trying to conceal it now." "I might have guessed it on the train." "I certainly should have known it in Jacksonville and on the yacht." "The trial was as much for you as for me, and however ridiculous I may seem, there's nothing ridiculous about the way I feel in my heart." "I'm madly in love with you." "Ohh." "Oh, isn't that pretty?" "Why do you keep bothering them?" "If you want to bother somebody, bother me." "You know, I'm not sure that Mac likes me." "Oh, no, no, no." "He's always like that." "It's just that he doesn't seem to think anybody's good enough for me." "Well, he's right there." "You don't care much for me, do you?" "Why, certainly." "Why do you let me flop around?" "I'm sorry." "You will care for me though." "I grow on people." "Like moss." "Sit down, Toto." "Stop following me around." "Nitz." "Yitz, Toto." "Isn't it romantic La-da-da-da-da-dee-dee" "Oh, you have a nice little voice." "Thank you." "I used to sing in college." "With a mandolin?" "I wouldn't play it around the house." "Would you be around the house much?" "Not any more than you wanted me." "I have an office, not that I do much in it." "Perhaps Mac could come and help me." "That would be wonderful!" "You two could plan the airport together." "What airport is that?" "The most remarkable invention you've ever heard of." "A suspended airport right in the middle of the city, stretched like a tennis racket." "Would it be strong enough?" "A tennis racket?" "What's Gerry's husband like?" "Who?" "Oh, just a flop." "A big flop?" "Yes, any way you take it." "Well, he won't be such a flop with his $99,000." "Snoodles will give it to him all right." "And why not?" "I oughta marry him and get it back into the family." "That would be a big joke." "Of course, I'm crazy." "I'll marry anyone." " What's this about $99,000?" " I might be able to help him." "In fact, I will be able to help him." "I'll help him." "Why not?" "Will you really?" "Of course I will, up to a certain point." "How much would a working model cost?" "Ninety-nine thou..." "I mean, $100,000... in that neighborhood." "That shouldn't be a very difficult neighborhood to find." "I think I'll be able to do it all right." "Oh, really?" "You've made me so happy." "You don't know how much trouble he's had." "Is that so?" "Well, he won't know what trouble really is till he tangles up with Maude." "Oh, that's rather unkind." "I shouldn't have said it." "You say about a hundred thousand?" "Exactly a hundred thousand." "It's built." "Oh!" "You mean her husband wants $99,000 before he'll give her a divorce?" "Oh, I love you like this, with lightning flashing out of your eyes." "Did she tell you that story?" "Why should we talk about that heel when you're here?" "Did she tell you that?" "Do that again." "I love it." " Now, listen." " Oh, Snoodles, that's wonderful!" "Tom..." "Mac will be wild with excitement." "You know, when you've waited so long." "Not at all." "Not at all." "I'm delighted to have the opportunity." "Look..." "Darling, I have the most wonderful news." "Snoodles is going to build your airport for you." "I'll build it." "You don't even know what it is." "Quiet, Toto." "Well, that gives us a lot to look forward to, doesn't it?" "I don't know as I've told you, Mac, but your sister and I have progressed considerably since this afternoon." "Oh, is that so?" "What's all this business... about your husband wanting $99,000 before he sets you free?" "Oh, that was just an idea that he had." "You know how people are when they're upset." "I'm not sure that he actually meant it." "Let's not even talk about it." "No, no, let's face it." "Gerry naturally wants to defend this human bacterium." "That's only natural and gallant." "But he's asked her for it, and as soon as my name comes into it, we're doomed." " Broiled." " As a Hackensacker, I find it cheaper to pay than to fight." "Of course, $99,000 isn't a small sum, but it isn't large." "I should say not." "Why, when I think of Stefan, to say nothing of Serge." "Or that big one with the scar..." "What was his name?" " Itsk." " Baron Itsk!" "Lucius." "Itsk?" "Nitz, Toto." "I'm awfully sorry to hear that about Tom." "I knew he was a failure and a dreamer, I guess, but I didn't know he was a skunk." "It's very kind of you to want to build the airport..." "I mean, the model of it." "I guess I was a little too stunned to say thank you, but you know how it is when you've been waiting for something for a long time." "There's only one trouble with the whole setup, something that Gerry neglected to tell you." "That is that I'm not alone in this invention." "That human bacterium we were talking about, her husband, has had exactly as much to do with it as I have." "So, you see, if you help me, you'd be helping him too." "I know nothing could be further from your wish." "How about dancing with your brother?" "Shut up, Toto." "My brother is thinking." "What did you have to do that for, you fathead?" "Don't you ever get tired of being noble?" "Everything I build up for you, you knock down." "I've got you the money twice already." "Look, darling..." "No, no." "I don't want to listen to anything that begins with "look, darling,"" "so that you can get off another noble saying." "Can't you ever learn to be practical?" "Don't you know that the greatest men in the world have told lies... and let things be misunderstood if it was useful to them?" "Didn't you ever hear of a campaign promise?" "The way you are is the way you have to be, honey." "That's the way I am." "If I'm supposed to be a flop..." "You're not going to be a flop." "Nobody who's been married to me for five years is going to be a flop." "You're going to get your airport if I have to build it for you myself." "After I'm married." "After you're married." "That's a funny thing to hear your wife say." "I've got it." "I'll build it, and his share will be more than $99,000, so he'll have to release you." "Whose share?" "That scoundrel she's married to." "It's the first bright thought he's ever had." "That's marvelous!" "It was really very simple." "Now shall we change partners?" "It seems a shame to waste such a beautiful sister upon a brother." "You said it." "Ah, thank you so much." "It was delightful." "Not at all." "Oh, dear!" "What's the matter?" "We must've forgotten Toto someplace." "Is that so?" "I suppose he'll show up though." "He always does." "Greetings!" "Ah, yes." "Wouldn't he be awful to be married to?" "Always hanging around." "Captain, you have renewed my faith in mankind." "Well, there's nothing like saving your faith." "You are too, too divine!" "You're a very embarrassing lady." "If I weren't a little bit mixed up at the moment," "I'd take you up on a few of your dares and make you say "papa."" "Papa?" "How would you like to go to Fort Myers tomorrow?" "There's nothing there, but the ride might be nice." "We might put Toto in the army!" "I may not be here tomorrow." "What do you mean, you may not be here tomorrow?" "I have an appointment in New York." "Oh, let her wait, whoever she is." "She's no good for you anyway, while I, on the other hand..." "You never think of anything but topic "A," do you?" "Is there anything else?" "I'll leave you with that thought, Captain." "Bonsoir, drip-drap." "Oh, dear." "You're very kind." "I think this is the happiest night of my life." "Oh, really, Snoodles?" "Yes." "You've freed me of a certain timidity from which I've always suffered, and now with you and Mac and the airport," "I can see great days ahead, full of fun and everything." "Oh, I'm sure of it, Snoodles." "By the way, I have a little surprise for you in a few minutes, so don't be surprised." "What is it?" "If I told you what it is, then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore." "Well, I wouldn't do anything too surprising if I were you, Snoodles." "You never can tell how those things are going to turn out." "I'm persuaded you'll be delighted." "Well, I certainly hope I will be." "If you'll just leave your window open onto the balcony." "What?" "What was that?" "Oh, I didn't hear anything." "Good night, Snoodles." "I'll see you in a little while." "Good night." "I'll see you in my dreams." "Yes, that's a very good place." "You're a fast worker, aren't you?" "You have your nerve to talk." "So you couldn't even wait a decent interval, you and your princess." "I hope you're very proud of yourself, Captain McGlue!" "Wait a minute." "No, let me go, you big pullover!" "No, no." "I just broke that because it was handy." "Oh, well, then you ought to be ashamed of yourself." "I'm the one that has the right to..." "I know I'm an idiot, but I suppose it's when you've been fond of somebody for a long time..." "You shouldn't have come down here." "You had no right to come down here." "You should have given me a little time to get used to the idea." "Maybe I should, but you can't blame a man for trying to hold on to something that he loves, that he always has loved and always will love." "You're gonna make me cry." "Gerry." "No!" "You're forgetting the airport." "You're forgetting everything that counts." "Gerry." "No!" "It's all finished!" "When you make a decisión, you have to stand by it." "You can't let champagne or..." "or tree toads or night flowers... or memories get in the way of it." " It's all over, and I know it's for the best." " But, Gerry, I..." "On, no." "Now, listen to me just this once, will you?" "I've always done what you wanted, and it's always turned out a disaster." "Good night, darling." "Sleep tight." "It'll be funny sleeping with a sitting room between us." "And the doors locked." "You won't have to worry about that." "Nevertheless, good night, dear." "What?" "Well, won't you kiss your brother good night?" "I don't know." "I never had a brother." "You have one now." "You fool." "What's that?" "Good..." "Good night, sweetheart" "Till we meet tomorrow" "Good night, sweetheart" "Sleep away your sorrow" "Tears and partings He shouldn't do things like that on a night like this." "Good night." "May make us forlorn" "But with the dawn" "A new day is born" "So I'll say good night, sweetheart" "Though I'm not beside you" "Good night, sweetheart" "Still my love will guide you" "Dreams enfold you" "In each one I'll hold you" "Good night, sweetheart" "Good night" "Good night, sweetheart" "Till we meet tomorrow" "Good night, sweetheart" "Sleep away your sorrow" "Tears and partings" "May make us forlorn" "But with the dawn" "A new day is born" "So I'll say good night, sweetheart" "Though I'm not beside you" "Good night, sweetheart" "Still my love will guide you" "Dreams enfold you" "In each one I'll hold you" "Good night, sweetheart" "Good night" "Good night, sweetheart" "Till we meet tomorrow" "Good night, sweetheart" "Sleep will banish sorrow" "Tears and partings" "May make us forlorn" "But with the dawn I can't open this blasted dress." "A new day is born All right." "Come over here to the light." "So I'll say good night, sweetheart" "Though I'm not beside you" "Good night, sweetheart" "Still my love will guide you Sorry." "Dreams enfold you Can you get it?" "Just a minute." "In each one I'll hold you" "Oh, darling, darling, darling!" "Good night, sweetheart Good night" "I hope you realize this is costing us millions." "Good night" "I suppose there's a law against shooting those things." "Yes, ma'am, I think there is." " Oh, good morning, Toto." " Greetings." "It doesn't seem to matter how much champagne you soak up, you always feel great the next morning." "Hello." "Thank you, darling." "I suppose it takes an iron constitution to be a houseguest." "Why don't you go away someplace?" "Eh?" "There must be somebody else who can use a houseguest." "I can't be the only sucker in the world." "Why don't you go to Havana?" "That's a nice place, and I'd treat you to a nice one-way ticket." "Havana? "Youg, meeg," Havana?" "No, Toto. "Youg" Havana." ""Meeg" here." "Nitz." "I was afraid of that." "Say, Maude, is this all right?" "You have to work fast in these matters, so I just slid down to Margetsons and slid back with this." "What is it?" "The Hope Blue?" "No, it's just a chip from it." "Boy, when you fall, you fall, don't you?" "Go away, Toto." "This might give you ideas." "It's all right then?" "I think she'll know what you mean." "Good." "How do you think this would look on the captain's vest?" " Maude, you're really incorrigible.!" "" "No, no, Toto." "Naughty, naughty." "Here." " I suppose I'll have to give the bracelet back, won't I?" " Why?" "Oh!" "Oh, dear!" "What are you talking about?" "Oh, Snoodles, I'm so fond of you." "You're a lovely, generous, good-hearted man, really a woman's ideal, only you shouldn't have sung last night." "What?" "Here's your bracelet." "I'm going back to my husband." "That skunk?" "Oh, he isn't really." "I let you think worse about him than he is." "You know how a woman likes sympathy." "But what about the $99,000?" "He didn't want that." "I wanted it for him." "But..." "Put it away." "What?" "Put it away!" "But, darling..." "I'll just take one more look at it, and then put it away forever." "There's a limit to what a woman can stand." "Hello there, Snoodles." "How's every little thing?" "I'm very unhappy, as a matter of fact." "You'll get over it." "You know about Gerry's decisión?" "Yes." "I'll never get over it as long as I live." "I had such hopes, such plans." "Oh, Snoodles, I'm so sorry." "Anyway, we still have the airport." "That'll keep us busy." " What's knittin', kittens?" " Gerry's going back to her husband." "Oh, you poor, dumb thing." "I know just how it is." "I'll bet he's a knockout." "I'm awfully sorry about Snoodles." "Well, you still have your airport, and you and the captain and I will be as busy as bird dogs, won't we?" "I'm afraid that isn't possible either." "Why not?" "I still have..." "I always will have..." "the deepest affection for you." "Certainly nothing has happened to spoil my friendship with your brother." "Well, you see..." "What now?" "He isn't exactly my brother." "No." "He isn't exactly your brother?" "No." " Hello!" " Oh, shut up!" "He..." "He's my husband." "He's your husband!" "That's right." "Well, no wonder!" "I thought I was losing my grip." "You mean, the vermin who-who..." "Who-Who what?" "That's right." "You said he didn't." "Then who is McGlue?" "There is no McGlue." "Well, thank heavens for something." "That name!" " Then it's theJeffers Airport." " Are you still talking about that airport?" "You really take it on the chin, don't you?" "Why not?" "If an idea has merit, it has merit." "Sentiment and business don't belong in the same bed." "After all, Grandfather loathed oil..." "it made his eyes water... but that didn't stop him from making millions out of it." "You still want to go through with the airport?" "Why not?" "On a purely business basis, of course." "Right now I don't like you, although I may get over it later." "Right now I need something to occupy my mind." "The airport is something, if not exactly what I'd hoped for." "I'll be very lonely without you, Gerry." "Oh, Captain, and thou." "I don't suppose you have a sister." "Only a twin sister." "A twin sister!" "Oh, didn't you know about that?" "That's how we were married in the beginning, both being twins." "That's another plot entirely." "Both twins!" "Are you a twin?" "Yes." "Well, what's he doing?" "Well, what's she doing?" "Well, nothing." "You see..." "Well, nothing." "You see..."

"Did you feel that?" "Kiss-kiss!" "It's OK, it's OK." "It was great." "Is there anything you're keeping from me?" "No..." "What day is today?" "How did you know?" "God told me." "You have party tonight?" "Yes, I'm going out with some friends later." "What are you thinking now?" "I wish you were here." "I want to show you something..." "Close your eyes first." "You can look now!" "Oh, my God, it's so beautiful!" "That is Taipei." "I really hope that you will be here." "Do you mean that?" "Do I look like a liar?" "I might show up one day." "Welcome." "Tell me when you're ready." "Yes." "I will." "Kiss, kiss!" "Bye." "Bye." "Happy birthday..." "Happy birthday..." " Hi!" " Hi." "No Viktor?" "He'll be here soon." "Happy belated birthday." "Thank you." "Take your coat off." "Can I have some water?" "Thanks." "How's he doing in school." "Fine." "You can ask him when he comes." "How long have you lived here for?" "Why?" "I was just wondering if you're happy here." "Well, yes..." "It could be nice here... if you just sorted yourself out a bit more." "Listen, Mum." "If you're going to start we might as well forget it." "Hello!" "Hi!" "Come in!" " Is it cold out?" " A bit." "My, how you've grown!" "Happy birthday!" " Thanks." " Did you find your way OK?" "Yeah..." "We've bought you a little cake." "How lovely...!" "We didn't want to have to carry it on the train." "Kicki, come and sit yourself down." "Viktor can take care of that." "Can you make the coffee?" "What is it?" "Can't you find something for you to do together?" "He'd be so happy." "But Mum, I can't come up with something just like that." "That's usually not a problem for you." "Thanks." "Look, I'll pay." "Happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday to you..." "Thanks." "Thanks very much." "Four cheers for Kicki!" "Thanks." "Thanks." "For you." "Oh, thanks!" "You shouldn't have..." "It's from Grandma too." "So sweet." "It must be ages since you heard Happy Birthday in Swedish!" "Yes, ages!" "Oh, look!" "It's lovely!" "Thanks." "Pardon?" "Nice cake." "Viktor would... would you like to come on holiday with me for a week?" "I mean... only if you want to, that is." "We haven't really spent time together since I came home." "Sure." "Take a week off school." "I can go whenever." "It'll be fun!" " Here it is." " Are you sure?" "Yes." "Number 16." "Hello." "You want room?" "How much is it?" "Restorsleep?" "Sorry?" "Restorsleep?" ""Restorsleep"?" " He's asking if it's for rest or sleep." " Sleep." "Two days." "How much is it?" "Very cheap." "Cash is OK." "Cash OK." "It's OK with credit card also?" "Cash better." "Credit card OK." "The big window for the lady." "Thank you." "How do you say thank you in Chinese?" "Well, here it is." "Exciting, eh?" "Have you got the right room?" "I'll see you in a bit, then." "OK." "Viktor?" "Yes?" "Can you hear me?" "Yes..." "Damn." "What?" "Nothing." "Do you fancy going to do something?" "Or do you want to go to bed?" "I don't know." "Want to see my room?" "Look." "Cool." "It's not that bad here, after all." "It's OK." "Maybe we should be getting to bed." "Sure." "Good night." "You too." "And don't forget I can hear everything!" "I'll close the door." "Good night!" "Good night!" "Sorry." "Can I buy something to drink?" "Of course." "Beer?" "Perfect." "Thank you." "I join you." "Is it always so noisy?" "Daytime, bang, bang, bang..." "Night-time, king, king, kong, kong..." "Better." "How I say your name?" "My name?" "K-Kicki." "Kikiki?" "No, Kicki." "Kicki." "Kicki, yes." "You sitting OK?" "No problem." "Do you know this address?" "Neihu." "The Neihu district." "Neihu?" "Is it far away?" "No." "No?" "OK, thank you." "What is this?" "It's a secret." "On my roof," "Taipei is more beautiful than anything." "Here's your coffee." "Thank you." "Excuse me, can we sit here?" "Thank you." "Will they come out with the food?" "What do you usually eat for breakfast?" "Different things." "Bread and cheese." "Grandma makes you breakfast in bed, right?" "I usually make breakfast for her, actually." "I called Grandma yesterday and said we'd arrived safely." "Oh, really?" "So how was she, then?" "She was alright." "Thanks." "Thank you." "Are you going out with anyone?" "Have you got a girlfriend?" "How do you say it?" "How do we say it?" "I don't know, I don't do it..." "Have you got anyone?" "God, no." "It's just me." "May I?" "Sure." "You don't smoke, do you?" "No." "We made a bet once." "So I've had one cigarette." "That's so daft!" "I was going to ask about school." "It's what all adults ask when they don't know what to talk about!" "Can we go and see that building later, I've got a few things to do." "Buy stuff." "OK." "So I'll see you at the hotel at?" "Sure..." "Thank you." "May I help you?" "Yes, please." "May I use your bathroom?" "Yes." "This way, please." "Thank you." "Excuse me..." "Excuse me, do you know the way to the..." "Hello..." "Hello!" "Where are you going?" "I'm just going." "Where?" "Into town." "I can help you." "No, thanks." "That way, nothing." "So is it far?" "No, here." "What's your name?" "I'm Didi." "Viktor." "Viktor, OK..." "Where are you from?" "I'm from Sweden." "Come!" "You take." " It's not..." " If you show me I can walk." "No, I drive you." "It's OK." "No, it's OK." "Hi!" "Hello." "Sorry I'm late." "That's OK." "I got a bit lost." "Is that... a new..." "little..." "Pretty sexy, eh?" "Do you like it?" "Yes, it's nice." "Why, hello!" "Hello!" "How are you?" "What you do today?" "I'm fine, how are you?" "I been busy..." "Oh, that's beautiful." "Like you." "What you do today?" "Stop asking." " They haven't spent the day together." " I'm just asking." " Well don't." " She's been drinking, OK?" "Ladies and Gentlemen we have arrived at the 89th floor, thank you." "Shall I take your picture?" "Please do!" "Stand looking out of the window." "It worked out well with us doing our own thing today, didn't it?" "You didn't have to drag your old mum around with you." "We can do it again tomorrow, and then have dinner together." "Well?" "OK..." "So are you doing anything special tomorrow?" "No not really." "You?" "There's loads to do." "I'll see." "I'll just go and have a look over there." "Viktor!" "Hello." "Hello." "So, what you do today?" "I don't know." "Just going into town." "So I can drive you." "Do you have a new motorcycle today?" "Yes, every day." "But I will give back, always." "I'm looking for Mr. Chang." "No people." "No people?" "No people!" "You want drive?" "OK, sure." "So..." "Hurry!" "Hurry, hurry, hurry!" "What do you mean, hurry?" "Go fast!" "OK are you all right?" "What are you?" "Any question?" "You want noodles?" "OK, thanks." "Come here." "OK!" "It's very hot." "Yeah." "Thanks." "It's good." "It's OK." "Yeah." "It's good." "OK." "Good?" "Good?" "Yeah!" "Really good." "You are like me." "Well how do you mean?" "You are sad, but happy, outside." "OK!" "So where's your father?" "I don't have a father." "You don't have?" "No, I never had one." "Actually, I don't think my mum knows who he is." "She had a lot of boyfriends." "How many?" "I don't know." "I don't live with her," "I live with my grandmother." "But she live with you now?" "Yeah, here in Taipei." "She wants to get to know me." "And you?" "My mum is dead." " Dead?" "Yes." "And my father, he just play cards and drink beers..." "He gamble." "He's a gambler." "So he loses money?" "Of course he lose money!" "He's a fucking loser!" "Really." "Sju Sjosjuka Sjostjarnor!" "Sju Sjosjuka Sjonairna...!" "It's too difficult." "It's too difficult." "You know you are a very nice person." "You're a very nice man." "Yeah, I like you." "My son is also very nice." "You're nice." "Me?" "No." "No!" "What?" "I don't know." "Shit!" "Shit!" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "You come Taiwan for man?" "Yes." "Jesus Christ." "And you know what?" "I didn't speak to him." "No." "I was supposed to be a surprise." "And then I..." "Whatever." "I'm so stupid." "No." "No?" "Yes." "I am stupid." "I'm a coconut." "What?" "Bang on the floor!" "Like fountain!" "I don't understand." "I happy, you happy." "Yeah?" "So put on the music again." "Put on the good music." "So we can dance." "Yeah?" "No." "No, don't take that." "Don't take it." "He's a foreigner and you're Taiwanese." "If you didn't take him there, who did?" "He want to drink." "Don't you know how dangerous that place is?" "How old are you?" "I've told his mum to come." "Translate." "He says your mother is coming." "But I can go by myself." "What did he say?" "He said he's fine." "Fine?" "I'm warning you, do you understand?" "Hello." "Hello, I am Kicki." "I am his mother." "How are you!" "Hello." "Hi." "I'm just saying it's a dangerous place to drink." "It's a restricted area." "Other than that, there's no problem." "Tell her to take a seat." "He want you to sit." "Sit?" "Ask them if they like Taiwan." "He says you can go later." "OK." "Tell him that I'm very sorry about this." "I will take care of my son better." "What did she say?" "That she loves Taiwan." "Do you think he works here?" "No." "But who is he?" "Tea" "You have very beautiful eyes." "Yes, you have!" "So why you come here, Taiwan?" "To Taiwan?" "Yes." "Well, because I thought it was good for us to travel together." "To make a trip together..." "We haven't been travelling for a long time." "But do you know what?" "He's always been so afraid of flying." "What?" "I have an address to a friend, but it's written in Chinese." "So I don't know what it says." "Do you know... where this is?" "Which area?" "Are you coming?" "Yes." "Here." "OK!" "Is it far away?" "No." "Excuse me, Mr. Driver, where are we going?" "We go to your friend." "Now?" "Where are we going now?" "Well, let's go to my friend." "Who is she?" "Your friend misunderstood." "I just asked where on the island the address was and now we're on our way." "How are you?" "Looking for anyone?" "Hello?" "Hello." "Good evening." "Good evening." "May I help you?" "Yes..." "I'm looking for Mr. Chang." "Oh, OK." "Follow me, please." "I'll be right back." "So he's home?" "Yes." "Shall I take them off?" "Yes." "Shall I put these on?" "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Hi!" "Hi!" "Hi, I'm Gwen." "Hello, I'm Kicki." "Kicki." "Are you here for Mr. Cheng?" "Yes." "I drove by and I just want to say hi." "A little surprise." "OK." "No problem." "He's inside." "Please follow me." "Watch out." "OK!" "I guess you live in this neighborhood?" "No!" "Do you work with him at his office?" "No, I'm on vacation and I just want to say hi." "OK good" "Let me introduce you to our kids." "Come on." "Say your names." "In English, of course." "Hi, I'm Nicholas." "Nice to meet you." "Hi." "I'm Kicki." "Hi, I'm Ellen." "Kicki." "Why don't you join us for dinner?" "No, I must go." "People are waiting for me." "But I think they're coming in." "Hi, my name's Gwen." "Hello I'm Viktor." "Viktor nice to meet you." "You too." "And this is my friend, Didi." "Hi" "He's my son." "Oh, good." "Please join us." "Please sit down here." "Have something to eat." "Why are you standing there?" "Come and say hi." "Hi, Kicki." "What a surprise." "Hi." "I just want to say hi." "Maybe it's a bad time?" "No, not at all." "So, are you on a business trip in Taiwan?" "Yes..." "You are?" "Viktor, her son." "So you're her friend?" "They are business partners." "Business." "Please sit down." "Is it your first time to visit Taiwan?" "Yes." "How do you like it here?" "I think it's beautiful." "So you are their Taiwanese friend?" "Yes." "You met here in Taiwan?" "Good." "Then you can show them around." "Have you been Sun Moon Lake?" "Sun Moon Lake?" "No." "No?" "No." "We've just been to Taipei." "I think we should call Mr. Hong and make a reservation." "It would be a shame if they only saw Taipei." "It's not necessary." "It is our pleasure." "It is." "Viktor right?" "Are you still in school?" "Yes." "So what do you study?" "Just normal school." "I see." "My daughter studies music." "Play something for us." "Now?" "Yes." "What shall I play?" "It doesn't matter." "But we haven't eaten yet." "Just play now." "She will play some music for us." "Well, I guess we should go." "Shit!" "Money!" "I guess we all have a reservation at Sun Moon Lake." "Please stop at the corner." "Bye bye." "Bye bye." "Bye." "Was that why we came here?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Viktor, wait." "Viktor!" "I don't want your fucking money." "Pack your things." "We're leaving." "Leaving?" "Didi, you're welcome too." "We're going to that Sun Moon Lake." "Are you serious?" "Does it look like I'm joking?" "Please help him." "Are you sure she really want me to go?" "Yeah, I think so." "Is OK I come?" "I don't want to be alone with her." "Are you hungry or anything?" "No." "Didi?" "Didi!" "Do you want some snacks?" "Something to eat?" "Viktor, do you want..." "Here, you take it." "So, Mr. Viktor." "Your key." "Shall we have dinner later?" "We'll have a look around on our own." "OK" "See you later then." "Comfortable trip?" "It was fine." "Long, but fine..." "We should just float away." "Where?" "You know, out..." "You know this is a lake." "Yes, so?" "We could find an island and never come back." "Start our own country." "You can be the president." "And you?" "I don't want to be anything." "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No." "Do you?" "I don't know." "She's nice." "What?" "What?" "Why should I come home?" "I don't have the money." "They're not going to harm you." "So do you have any brothers or sisters?" "No, but I wish." "What are your parents doing?" "My mother is dead, and my father..." "His father gambles away their money." "When Viktor was four, why you move to America?" "Because I was working so much there..." "So we thought it was better for Viktor to stay with his grandmother." "But you live in Sweden now?" "Yes, I moved back a year ago." "Why are you talking to her?" "Do you think it's funny?" "No." "Why are you laughing?" "Why are you laughing?" "I have to go back to Taipei." "No." "Why?" "Do you mean you have to go now?" "Yes." "Hi!" "Where have you been?" "I've been looking for you." "Where's Didi?" "Hasn't he spoken to you?" "Where is he?" "Viktor, come and sit down." "Let's have something to eat." "Hey..." "Viktor..." "Can't we talk about it?" "You planned all this." "Why are you so angry all the time?" "Angry?" "Don't you know why I'm angry with you?" "Where do you want me to start?" "I just don't get you." "That's enough." "Why did you bring me along?" "If I'm such a pain, why invite me?" "Because I thought we'd have a good time together." "Grandma made you, I know she did." "No she didn't!" "You're just jealous." "Jealous?" "Because I went to meet Mr. Chang." "Do you know what they call people who fuck for money?" "Well?" "You're just a piss head cunt." "What the hell...?" "Oh, Jesus..." "Viktor?" "Hey, Viktor..." "I was thinking about what happened last night." "Hey, open up..." "Hello." "Hello?" "Hello." "I'm looking for my son." "Check out." "Check out." "Check out?" "Check out?" "Check out." "Hello..." "Is Viktor here?" "Viktor?" "No." "I need to speak to..." "A Huang?" "Miss Kicki!" "Is something wrong?" "Yes." "I need you to call the police." "Police?" "Why?" "The policeman who called here the other night." "Because Viktor is gone." "Is gone?" "I think the policeman might know where he is." "OK OK" "Hello?" "I'm looking for the policeman who called here the other night." "Her son seems to be missing." "Five minutes, OK?" "Five minutes?" "OK." "Thank you." "Thank you." "It's OK." "OK?" "Here it is." "OK think you." "OK." "Bye bye." "Thank you." "Bye bye." "Hello?" "Hello, Didi?" "Hi." "Do you know where Viktor is?" "Is he here?" "I don't know." "Please go away." "I need to speak to you." "Please go away." "What's going on?" "Do you know where he is?" "What the...?" "Viktor, what's going on?" "Don't worry." "My father went to get more money." "What's going on, Didi?" "He should've come two hours ago." "They want more." "OK..." "I'll try to help you." "Tell him I'll try to help." "She can get the money." "Is she going to call the police?" "I'm warning you." "If you call the police..." "Don't call the police." "No." "No." "Did you find your son?" "Can you drive me to Neihu?" "Are you OK?" "Yes." "I think we have a problem." "I'm going to need backup." "Close to Chung Hua and Shin Jiang." "Hello, may I help you?" "I just want to speak to Mr. Chang." "Mr. Chang is in a meeting." "I just need him for two seconds." "I can't let you but if important..." "It's very important." "You can talk to him later." "Let go of me!" "I just want to speak to him for two minutes." "Can I speak to you for two minutes?" "It's very important." "Give me two minutes." "Please, please..." "What the...?" "I don't know what to do." "I don't think my father's coming back." "I am so sorry about all this." "But I really need your help." "I want her gone." "Call the police." "You don't know" "My son's in trouble." "I need money." "You come to me because I have money?" "You never told me you had a family." "Leave us." "Please..." "You never told me you had a son." "Please, I need to know if you can help me or not." "Give each other a kiss." "What's he saying?" "He say to kiss." "Go on, then." "Go on." "Nice one." "Now a French kiss." "Stop that!" "It's disgusting!" "Can't you stop pacing?" "How long are we going to wait?" "Don't move" "Go!" "Hello!" "Hi." "Is everything OK?" "Yes." "Thank you very much for helping me." "OK." "You want room, Miss Kicki?" "Same room, please." "OK." "Same room." "So, what you do tonight?" "I don't know." "Maybe we should go out eating or something." "Are you hungry?" "I know something special." "Yes?" "Special." "Want to borrow some clothes?" "I'm OK." "You are not angry with me?" "Are you angry?" "No." "You should take these." "He'll be right out." "Good." "Come on." "I don't know where to start..." "There's so much..." "I want to say..." "It's OK." "Grandma didn't make me." "I really wanted you to come with me." "I didn't mean it." "I just wanted you to know that." "I don't know if you're aware" "that Grandma... that Grandma's..." "That she's sick?" "In some strange way," "I'm still glad we came here!" "Me too." "It's nice, isn't it." "Lovely."

"Tight dick, player." "This Friday, we're going to face off against our rivals the Rockingham Ruckus." "than the Ruckus..., ...is their backwards-ass hiHbilly fans." "These motherfuckers will fill up that stadium like cockroaches." "So remember that." "Mermen." "Excuse me, watch out." "Watch your fucking foot." "Mermen, I come to you today, unashamed." " I'm unashamed, Mermens." " Powers, what the fuck are you doing?" "This is my son who I'm now proud of." "Check him out, guys." "My child." "I have a fucking kTd, yo." "Look into his eyes, youu faggot-ism Look at him." "I've returned from my sabbatical a changed man." " Sabbaticzfl?" " Hiatus." "Break." "Whatever you call it." "Nobody gave you permission to take a hiatus." "Because I'm mature enough now to give my own self a hiatus." "Now that I'm a changed man and humble and ready to be part of a team I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get back into the good graces of the Merrhen." "I'll tell you what you can do." "You can start showing up on time." "That's a good place to start." "Your ass won't play, but you can stiH show up and support the team." " That's what you can do." " IFI may counter said deal." "I don't really see how I wih redeem myse\f as team leader in front of everyone if I'm gonna be sitting on the bench." "If you don't, I'll cut you off this team quicker than you can say, "What for?"" "What for?" "Sit your motherfucking ass down!" "Unashamed, guys." "StiH unashamed." "Tend to him." "Now, as I was saying, Ivan, you're the man we're going to in the dutch." " Don't let us down." " I won't let you down, coach." "Right?" "If I'm given an opportunity, I won't let us down, either." "Well, well, well." "What the fuck are you doing in Myrtle?" "I've been coming for Black Biker Week for 10 years." "Since we were In the area, we thought we'd say hello to my second-favorite ballplayer." "Well, it wasn't really necessary being that you and I are even." "That's not exacfly true, Mr. Powers." "Your swashbuckfing shenanigans cost me my new dealership." "The Kia representatives also did not appreciate the fact that we had a Japanese geisha." "Because you know why?" "Because they're Korean." "It turns out the fucking Orientals are highly sensitive." "I never" I would've bet a million dollars that they were not a sensitive race of people." "I don't give a fuck about sensitivity of Orientals." "I'm a father now." "I take it this here is your boy, huh?" "Yes, this is him." "Scott, pull your penis out and put it inside this infant." "I will fucking bite it off." "Keep it in them pants." "That's what's called a joke." "Scott knew I was kidding as soon as I said it." "All right, well, if you two fucking hobnobs are done laughing and giggling I got to feed my son." "I have to push pause on the feeding because somebody else wants to say heHo as well." "Kenny Powers." "Reg Mackworthy." "You look sad, boy." "Someone take your lunch money?" "No." "But it does look somebody took your eye." "Oh, yeah." "Me." "Fuck you, Kenny Powers." "You insensitive dickhead." "I see you got a team to pick you up, huh?" "Must be nice." "My baseball days are over because of you." "Maybe It's high time you look for another line of work." "Maybe you could be a telescope operator." "Fun and games, gentlemen." "Is this what this is all about?" "This is why you wanted to come visit me?" " To start a fight with me and Mackworthy?" " I don't know, maybe, yes." "There's too many eyes out here right now." "We'll discuss this later." "I'll be here all week, with my eye on you, K.P." "Black Bike Week is a whole week." "Monday, Tuesday..." "Friday, Saturday." "Got it." " Yeah, 168 hours." " Okay, I got it." " Ten thousand eighty minutes." " Got it." " Seven whole days." "Not five." " Seven days." "Oh, so you guys just got into town today?" "I got here two days ago, but" "So you've been here longer"?" "Seven days from right now." "Okay?" "Not talking a work week, five days." "Seven-day week." "Congratulations." "I hope you got a good rate on a hotel room." "I didn't." "Scott, push me out of here." "You need to make sure these doors are locked at all times." "It's Black Biker weekend." "What's up with all these photographs?" "It's a goddamn pigsty in here." " I'm scrapbooking." " Scrapbooking?" "What are you, fucking 14?" "It's pathetic." "You need to come to the realization that Maria is gone." "Never to return." " I saw her today." " Oh, really?" "She say when she was coming back?" "We could use the extra hands." "She was selling oranges by the road." "I didn't approach hen She moked too fucking hot and I just look like a fucking monster." "Selling oranges, huh?" "So she's regressed back to her natural state." "Next, she's gonna be in a Home Depot parking lot looking for construction jobs." " Probably." " You need to buck up, all right?" "I got a bunch of black dudes trying to kill me." "You don't see me making a collage about it." "You're an expert when it comes to women, right?" "No duh." "Will you help me get Maria; back?" "'?" "So you finally learned your lesson, huh?" "I did." "I learned that Maria was the best thing to ever happen to me and I was stupid for even second-guessing that for one minute." "Or maybe the lesson that you shouldn't have told her when I told you not to." "Kenny, I'm lost." "Yeah, I guess that..." "Myrtle Beach ate me alive." "This town is just too much for me." "Yeah, city turned you into a little fucking angry slut." "Happens to a lot of people." "I used to be the coolest kid on the block, and now look at me." "Kenny, will you help me'?" "Stevie, your own sexual appetite has dug you into this hole." "So, unfortunately, it's gonna be up to you to dig yourself out." "All I can do is... mperhaps help you find a new set of eyebrows." "You think I need new eyebrows?" "I think you need a lot more than eyebrows." "What are you doing, huh?" "You give her, like, real hard, real slow." "And you have to move your hips..." "And then at the very end, pull a Chuck Berry and go:" "You know?" "What's happening, Ivan, Darnizzie?" "Jacquiessence." "You guys just trying to get a sesh in before the game?" "I find it very comforting and soothing to spend a little time in the blue room... mbefore a big performance." "By big performance, do you mean sitting on the bench and getting fat?" "Ivan, I was laughing just then to prove to you a point." "I've matured." "I've learned that it's all right to admit when you're wrong." "I'm sorry I ruined your DJ gig on the Fourth of July." "And burned down Club Celebrations." "I didn't mean to do that." "From this point on you and I are exactly the same." "Just two guys trying to make it to the bigs." "I sincerely hope you'll accept my apology." "Psych." "Fuck your sorries, motherfucker." "I am young and strong, and you are old and weak." "How is that alike to you?" "Ivan, I'm not old, Tm mature." "No, you are fucking old, motherfucker." "You can't play in majors." "You can't even play in Myrtle Beach." "No, look at you." "You don't get it." "I was nice at first, but now I don't give a fuck." "I am going to majors and you're not." "Don't stand in my fucking way again." "AH right, let's grab some waves." "You know, let's go now." "Fuck him." "You dug yourself into this hole." "Now dig yourself out." "Here goes nothing." "Hang tight, Toby." "I'll be right back." "Maria." "Maria, please." "You need to go." "She doesn't want to talk to you." "Don't touch rne." "Maria, I know you don't want to see rne, okay?" "I understand." "But I have something that you need to hear." "Maria, you are the only woman that I have ever loved." "And you are the only woman that has ever loved me." "You are the 0n\y thing that matters." "I know I'm an asshole, and I know I'm not good enough." "But I will spend my entire life trying to be the man that you deserve." " Please, Maria" " Okay, that's enough." "Time to go." "Hey, mind your own fucking business." "Look away." "Look away!" "No!" "No!" "Oh, God!" "Don't look at me!" "I'm a monster!" "Toby?" "Toby!" "Toby" "Toby!" "Toby!" "Toby!" "Toby!" "Now's not the time." "I'm trying to get in the proper headspace for the game." " But" " Stevie, I cannot be a shoulder for you to cry on right now, all right?" "I lost him." "I lost Toby." "He's gone." "Say what?" "I went to see Maria." "For two seconds, I turned my back and now I can't find him." "He's not anywhere." " What do you mean, he's gone?" " I'm sorry." "I don't know what happened." " You lost my son?" " I lost Toby, I'm sorry." " You Mast my fucking son!" " I lost him." " Goddamn it!" " I'm so fucking sorry." " What the fuck are we gonna do?" " Fucking kiH rne." "KiH me, I'm sorry." "I'll buy you shrimp for the rest of your life." "You can eat off my butthole." "I don't want to." "What makes you think I want to eat instead of having my son?" "Because I suck." "That's why, because I fucking suck." "Okay, well, retrace your steps." "What did you do?" "Pretend you lost your keys." " Where is he?" " He was in my car..." "And then what?" "And then he was gone." "I don't know." "I'm so fucking stupid." "Hello, Kenny Powers." "Hey, you missing something?" "Mackworthy." "Oh." "How you doing, man?" "You sound stressed." "Where's my son?" "Oh, you know, he's chilling." "Hey, you know I did you a favor." "You left the windows up." "Baby don't have no sweat g\ands." "Don't you know about babies?" "It's a baby." " What do you Want?" " I got something in store for you, man." "Meet me at the Wings on Highway 17." " The one with the shark in the front?" " And if you tell anyone your bay-bay goes bye-bye." "What is that supposed to mean?" "You're gonna kiH him?" "No, I just don't wanna be waiting at Wings all night." "That sounds Hke a veiled threat to me." "Come on, man." "I might even train him to cah me "daddy."" "If you teach him one fucking word, I will destroy you!" "So fucking stupid." "Maria was right." "I'm just a fucking scumbag." "Stevie, you weak motherfucker." "You listen to me right now." "You have made an ass-ton of stupid choices in Myrtle Beach." "This is the moment of truth." "Now is not the time to lay on the ground like a bald fucking baby." "Now is the time to be a fucking man." "Those guys messed with the wrong motherfuckers and the wrong baby." "Fuck yes, they did." "I'm gonna wash the glue off of my head, rip off my fucking eyebrows and we're gonna go get your fucking son." "I would \ove the opportunity to change into street-fighting clothes." " Fuck, yeah!" "Argh!" " Fuck, yeah, we are!" "Argh!" "What the fuck is so funny?" "Who the hell is this?" "I'm your new nightmare." "We're not here to make you guys laugh." "I've come here for my son." "Now hand him over, you fucking baby stealers." "I hope you brought a lot of toilet paper because these razor blades are going up your black asses." "Hold on." "I was thinking vve'd do something more like a rematch of the pitching game." "Let's do a game instead of this." "There's no more time for games." "The game dock has struck zero." "You're now hereto seek your retribution, Kenny Powers." "In front of this nautical-themed gift shop, complete with a great White shark edifice." "Constructed by none other than Bob Duato." "Bob Duato." "Fuck Bob Duato." "And fuck you too." "Grim Creepaz!" "Argh!" "Stay the fuck back." "Stay back." "I will put you motherfuckers in the hospital." "Back up." "Back up." " Stevie!" " Kenny!" "Stevie!" "Don't hurt him." "Let's see how good you pitch with a broke arm." "Don't do this, man." "I got a kid." "Your kid ain't got nothing to do with this." "This is about justice." "An arm for an eye, Kenny Powers." "WiH you shut that goddamn baby up?" "Damn it, Reg." "I told you, break his arm." "Don't disobey me." "I am your master, and you are my possession." "You will carry out my will or you wlll feel my lash." "Don't raise up on me." "You break his arm." "Do it." "No." "Back oh', creatures." "You Maser-mans." "Oh, hell, no." "I'm Old South." "I'm Old South." "I'm Old South." "Unh!" "OW!" " Hey, buddy." "Yeah." " I'm sorry for stealing your baby." "I did it because of my eye, man." "This ain't me." "I hear you, man." "I'm sorry I took your eye." " I'm pretty sure I feel sad about it too." " OW!" "Ow!" "I didn't know you had regular feelings." "I do." "I have tons of feelings and emotions." "Kenny, if we hurry, We can still make it to the game." " You got a game?" " It doesn't matter." "We'll never make it in time with ail this traffic." "Besides, coach won't even play me." " I'll probably lose my position on the team." " No, you got a second chance, Kenny." "If not for you, do it for all us old ballers who wish we could have one more inning." "Maybe tonight doesn't have to just be my second chance." "What do you mean?" "Reginald Guinevere Mackworthy, will you catch for me today?" "Creeps, Creeps, Creeps!" "You fucking with me, Kenny Powers?" "Or do you mean it?" "I only speak what I mean." "Grim Creepaz." "Me and Kenny Powers got a game to get to." "Let's creep." "Fuck you!" "Go back to Russia, you piece of shit!" "Fuck me!" "Son of a bitch." "From America with \ove." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Throw another battery!" "It's your money!" "Get the fuck out the way." "Mermen, behold me." "I come to you in your darkest hour of need with my son and a secret Weapon." "This man is Reg Mackworthy." "And he's the Merrhen's brand-new catcher." " What the fuck?" " You can't bring any one-eyed asshole onto the team in the midd\e of the goddamn game." "Get him out of here." "In fact, get them all out of here." "Right how." "Could you ask him again?" " He seems like he's starting to get" " teh him I work hard, I'm a go-getter." " Can he be our catcher for this game?" "Get the fuck off my field." "You guys should probably go." "He's getting pissed." " Go!" " Sorry he's being an asshole." " Thanks for the ride." " Jacques." "This is your big chance." "Get in there and relieve Ivan." "Fuck that." "They're throwing batteries and shit." "Skip." "These fucking redneck Ruckus fans may intimidate Ivan's rookie ass but they don't scare me." "I get fucking power from this." "I could use their rage and fucking harness it!" "Fucking put me in, you cock-sucker!" "Okay!" "Don't take it personally, all right?" "Franchise star players are a \ot like Highlanders." " There can only be one;" " Highlandees?" "Goddamn It." "Just get the fuck off my mound." "Fee\ the Ruckus, commie!" "Power from my son." "And power from Ivan's failure." "UMPIRE Eh." "Strike, bitch." "Come on, Kenny." "Whom!" "Eat a dick, pal." "This one's for you, Shane dog." "Yo!" "All right." "Fuck you, Kenny!" " Oh, you fucked up now." " Oh, shit." "Fuck him up." "Fuck him up." "Who the fuck wants some?" "COTT19 on, COITIG OH, COITI9 on." "You're fucking out!" "Kenny!" "Yay, Kenny." "Yay." "Stevie." "Take my baby." "What happened to your hair?" "This is who I am without you." "A goddamn fucking weirdo." "Fuck, yeah." "There's no better feeling than winning." "Dealing your opponent the death blow, then standing over his lifeless body... was the world around you leaps to their feet." "Falling all over each other to get a taste of your hero's jism." "The immature man revels in such adu/atfans." "The mature man, however, celebrates not." "Because he knows that every victory is just a precursor to another fucked-up test." "It's death on a stick out there." "So you're a surfer now?" "Pretty much so." "Where's Toby?" "He's inside my abode." "But if I were you, I'd remove those braids." "Toby hates all hippie bullshit." "That's a toy that I made for him." "It's a fake T. rex with a dildo crammed up his asshole." "It's one of Toby's favorites." "When you turn it on it moves." "Di/dosaurus rex." "Heh, heh." "Kenny, I think I owe you an explanation." "Yeah, I think that's probably in order." "I needed to get away, and I tried to tell you that." "I didn't know what to do." "I went to my sister's for a while." "Raising a kid alone has been really hard." "Oh, trust me, I fucking know." "All right?" "But I rose to the occasion." "Ahd I have become the best father that has ever existed." "Arrogant, selfish, ignorant and absurd." " That's you." " Okay." "I get it." "You hate me." "So why don't I just go ahead and take the baby and we're gonna leave you alone." " To, like, "take him" take him?" ""Take him" take him." "I'l\ take him off your hands." "Of course, that's what I want" I-—" "I've been wanting that the whole entire time." "So good, I'm g\ad." "I can finally rip down this stupid nursery." "And turn it back into my dojo, so I can get back to my fucking training." "Stevie, code seven, gold dust." "There he is." "Hey, no, stay there." "There's a few things you should know." "He's changed a lot since you've been gone." "He doesn't take shits as much when he eats carrots, like you said he did." "I've been giving him Gerber... wand all of his BMs have been running pretty smooth." "You must've been feeding him that bo-bo generic shit." "Gerber brand." "And also, he doesn't like cartoon shows." "He prefers military, action, war films and teenage-oriented horror flicks." "Okay, good to know." "The only reason why I'm returning him to you is because I don't want to get caught up in a custody battle when I'm trying to focus on my comeback..." "...and becoming famous again." " You don't have to explain." "I know I don't have to explain anything to you." "I just want you to know that you're not forgiven." "Okay." " It's okay." " Come here, buddy." "It's okay." "Come here." "Hi." "Hi." "Oh, my goodness, hi." "Mommy missed you so much." "Do you wanna...?" "You wanna tell Toby goodbye?" "What for?" "I mean, it's not like I'm gonna miss him or anything." "What's there to miss?"

"(Marge groaning)" "D'oh!" "(tires screeching)" "(grunts)" "(sizzling, popping)" "(groans)" "♪ The Simpsons 26x18 ♪ Peeping Mom Original Air Date on April 19, 2015" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606" "Excuse me?" "I'm having trouble with the on-off button on my phone." "Okay, let me check your settings, your photos." "I don't see why you need to do that." "Wow, that guy's really fat." "That's my husband!" "Oh!" "Let me talk to another salesman." "Oh, I'm not a salesman." "I'm just a guy in a blue shirt." "Oh!" "Okay, Maggie, from now on, we only talk to people at stores with name tags." "I've said it before, but this time, I mean it." "(tires screech) (gasps) What happened?" "Oh, someone snuck into the construction site, stole a bulldozer and went joyriding all over town." "(cat meows)" "Don't worry." "I have a suspect." "Ha!" "(gasps)" "I can't stand to see anything suffer." "Now I've got everything I need to convict your boy, except for motive, means and opportunity." " You also have no evidence." " That's implied!" "So, I'm remanding him..." "Is that a word... "remanding"?" "Yeah, uh, to your custody." "Maybe a mother can find out what a police chief can't." "(phone chimes) Hmm?" "What?" "Oh!" "Let's go." "Monarch butterfly, earwig, roly-poly, doodlebug, beer cap, ant, beer bottle, Barney." "All right, I'm on a list!" "(dog barking)" "(gasps) Flanders got a new dog!" "(barking)" "Aw, what's her name?" "Mahershalalhasbaz." "We just call her Baz." "Now it's time for her Christian doggy training." "This will be interesting." "Sit." "Kneel." "Pray." "Play dead." "Now resurrect." "And sit in glory at the right hand of Todd." "Finally, a religion that makes sense." "All right, Mr. Smarty, what went on back there?" "Mom, why is it the only time you call me smart is when you're being sarcastic?" "Really?" "Do I do that?" "Because I really shouldn't." "You're the one in trouble here, bub!" "Why don't you think about what you just did?" "Why don't you think about what you just did?" "Hmm." "I will live with that forever, but this is about you." "I swear to you on my mother's grave, I didn't do a thing!" "Sorry, sorry." "So, the Flanderses got a new dog, and it knows my name!" "Good for you, little girl!" "Marge, Bart, I've noticed neither of you have said a word all meal." "Are there feelings going unexpressed here?" "Because if there are..." "I believe someone at this table isn't telling us the truth." "Master Bart Simpson!" "Kids, could you excuse us for a moment?" "Your mother and I need to have an adult conversation." "What'd he do?" "What'd he do?" "(laughs)" "Your son stole a bulldozer." " How do you know?" " A mother knows." " Does a wife know things?" " Yes." "(shrieks)" "I believe we were talking about Bart." "I'm afraid I don't know how to handle him anymore." "Oh, Bart's ten." "He's too old to be handled." "We should just think of excuses for when he goes bonkers." "Oh. "Acne medicine." When in doubt, blame the acne medicine." "No, I'm not giving up on Bart, just like I didn't give up on our marriage when you quit your job to start the North American Sumo League." "The NASL would have made money if someone had washed a few sumo loincloths for me!" "I said I would do yours, but not the whole dojo." "Bart, get in here!" "Look me in the eye and tell me you know nothing about that bulldozer." "I know nothing about that bulldozer." "MARGE:" "This is bad." "He can't tell his mother what he does." "Where will that lead?" "(with Irish accent):" "Any last words, boyo?" "I know nothing about that bulldozer." "Give him the juice!" "(electricity crackling)" "(laughs)" " Which one's yours?" " The one being electrocuted!" "I've never seen an eyeball pop so fast." "I wish I could tell you about that bulldozer, but how can I explain something I know nothing about?" "I am not cable news." "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Stop lying right now!" "But-but you have to believe me." "You're my mom!" "All right, I will believe you on this." "Smart." "But until then, I'm going to keep my eye on you." "All the time." "All the time?" "How are you gonna change Maggie?" "Ah, close enough." "OTTO:" "All aboard." "Mom, what are you doing?" "I told you, to trust you, I have to watch you." "All the time." "Mmm." "You're gonna be riding this bus?" "I'm going to be watching my son wherever he goes." "Then you'd better go out the back, 'cause that's where he went." "D'oh!" "(barking)" "Oh, you must be Flanders' new dog." "I just want to apologize in advance for the things I'm gonna blame on you." "Homer, meet Baz." "(barking) - (laughing)" "Oh, sorry, Flanders." "I'm sure she has fun with you." "(laughs) She sure likes you." "Must be the cheeseburgers in your sweat." "Cheeseburgers in my sweat." "Really?" "Now, apparently, I have cheeseburgers in my sweat." "I can leave any time, Bart." "Just tell me what happened with that bulldozer." " Next question." " Fine." "Which papers on the walls are yours?" "None of them." "Is that the boy who copies off you?" "I copy off him?" "!" "What brand of poppycock is this miscreant feeding you, madam?" "Okay, Mom, I admit it." "There's a few lies I told you that you're gonna find out." "Simpson, you said your mother was dead." "(groans)" "She's become a zombie!" "Run!" "(humming)" "Mom, churros are good for you." "They're ethnic." "Hey, Simpson, you need your mommy to cut your carrots for you?" "He can cut his own carrots." "Baby carrots 'cause he's a baby!" "(laughter)" "Brilliant!" "Mom, Dad does plenty of stuff you don't like." "Why don't you follow him?" "Following an adult is creepy." "Following your kid is parenting." "I'm so lucky my mom's in Gainesboro, Florida..." "I think." "Is my mom still outside?" "She's swinging on a swing, and Ralph's pushing her." "RALPH:" "Hello!" "Good-bye!" "Hello!" "Good-bye!" "Hello!" "Good-bye!" "Hello!" "Good-bye!" "Hello!" "Good-bye!" "I am never leaving this tube." "Sorry, lad." "You've been in more than five minutes, so I've got to remove you." "And I'm authorized to use the greatest weapon at me disposal." "(playing "Highland March")" "No!" "Scotland!" "1,200 years, and we've only written one song!" "(resumes playing)" "(loud gulping)" "Man. (gulps)" "Staying on this all-pork-chop diet is easier than I thought." "That diet doesn't work." "You have to give it a year." "So, how was school today?" "Well, actually, I caused quite a ruckus in the nurse's office by pointing out they weren't putting fresh paper on the lay-down table." "Very good, sweetie." "Could you lean back?" "I have to focus on your brother." "Sure, sure." "No need to worry about Lisa." "Lisa's always fine." "No worries there." "Nah." "(scratching sound)" "(barking)" "Aw." "What are you doing here?" "I bet you escaped, and now Flanders is worried sick." "I should call him..." "after I scratch your tummy!" "That's right!" "Who likes their tummy scratched while Flanders is worried sick?" "You do!" "You do!" "Yes, you do!" "Oh, he doesn't know where you are." "(laughing):" "Yes, he's probably crying right now." "(growling)" "Come on, boy." "We'll go to my room." "I can play jazz, or give you a bath, or... (sighs)" "Never chooses jazz." "Hmm?" " (Marge grunts) - (Homer groans)" "Middle child." "No one cares about the middle child." "Never, ever gonna change." "Lisa, can I talk to you?" "Oh, here it is, the quick check-in every two years just like clockwork." "All right, let me speak to you in a language you'll understand." "Oh, boy, oh, boy, Lisa never gets it." "She's great, and everyone knows that." "Oh, man, trying to stay mad." "I'm kind of impressed that Dad's making an effort." "It's not really like him." "I shouldn't say this." "I should never say this, but I will." "She's my favorite child." "Oh, now he's pulling out the big guns." "Oh, I don't want to pout anymore." "If he offers me ice cream, I'm gonna break." "You want some ice cream?" "(whoops)" " Yes!" "Ice cream." "Oh, yeah, it's kid whiskey." "I knew he was gonna break." "I'm gonna write a song." "That makes them happy, and the best part is..." "Is there such a thing as happy blues?" "There is now. (whoops) ..." "I get some ice cream, too." "(Homer laughing, dog barking)" "Boys, isn't that the ball that she won't play with?" "She likes it when Uncle Homer throws it." "He's not your uncle!" "So that means I can marry Maggie?" "Quit asking me that!" "(rustling in brush)" "Be ye friend or foe?" "Well, be ye?" "(sighs) This is the only place I can go my mom doesn't know about." "Bart, you know you're always welcome to come stay in my tree house." "You don't have a tree house." "My dad's gonna build it." "That's why I didn't get a present from him last birthday and Christmas." "It's gonna be some tree house." "Milhouse, you don't even have a tree." "He's gonna plant it soon." "He just has to get enough money together to buy a pack of apple seeds." "Just hand me the Mountain Doo." "Your mom says that makes you bloated." "Give me the damn Doo!" "Finally safe from my mom." "She wouldn't want to come way out here and ruin her dainty little shoes." "(loud rustling, booming footsteps)" "(yowls)" "When she's got that much hair spray, nothing can stop her." "How'd you find me?" "Spool of thread in your pants." "I'll respool it for you." "I'm good at doing things so I can pretend there isn't a fight going on." "Mom, you have gone too far." "Superman's mom would never go in his Fortress of Solitude!" "Actually, the Fortress of Solitude has a statue of Superman's mother." "Stop reading my comics!" "I can't help it..." "you leave them out everywhere." "When will you leave me alone?" "When you tell me about that bulldozer." "I know nothing about that bulldozer!" "Milhouse, is there something you know about the bulldozer?" "Well, I know the bulldozer was invented in 1923 by James Cummings and J. Earl McLeod." "Now, please, let me focus on the thread!" "Got to get out." "Get to get out." "HOMER:" "D'oh!" "Dad, are you gonna snitch on me?" "Moe's before bros!" "♪" "(quietly):" "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Mom." "Whoopsy." "(silence)" "(engine grinding)" "Hmm?" "Oh!" "(dog growling playfully)" ""Property of Ned Flanders"?" "That means you got this from Homer." "Lord, I truly love this dog, but maybe she'd be happier next door." "But I don't want to give her up unless you think it's the best." "As always, I will interpret the lack of any sort of response as a sign of thy will." "(sad sigh)" "♪" "Well, the kid passed through again." "We can all go inside." "♪" "Nice rowing, Bart. Good job." "Stop caring about me!" "(panting)" "Sweetie, let me help you up." "Your nagging is melting my bones." "(whining)" "(continues whining)" "Okay, fine!" "I'm giving you one more chance, buster." "Tell me about that bulldozer!" "What bulldozer?" "You're in charge of yourself." "Get home whenever." "My parenting stops now." "Oh." "Okay, now." "(sighs)" "At last!" "A way off Lepers Island!" "Oh... (gasps)" "Boys, I realize now that Baz would be happier in another home." "So we're giving her to Ho..." "Ho..." "Ho..." "We're giving her to Santa?" "No!" "Someone fatter." "Oh, I'm sorry, boys, that you had to hear that mild insult." "Mild insults are like mild salsa..." "they still burn!" "(quietly):" "Bart, should I shut the door?" "No need." "My mom's cool now." "Check it out..." "last night, I stayed up till 10:45." "Oh, my God!" "BART:" "I took a picture so I could show everybody." "Now let me show you what I've been planning." "(à la Mayor Quimby):" "Er, uh, welcome to our celebration of, er, uh, our city's lame-o sign." "You nailed him!" ""Fie"?" "Yeah." "Look it up." ""Used to express disgust or outrage"?" "(gasps) That's the worst F-word there is!" "Bart, I'm not butting in anymore, so you don't have to hide things under your blanky." "It isn't a blanky anymore." "Hasn't been for three months!" "So, we want you to have our dog." "You just give her love, and I'll pay for all the shots." "Shots?" "What, is she going to India?" "Bye, Baz." "(barks)" "(sniffling)" "HOMER:" "Aw, geez, I can't stand to see Flanders sad." "Or happy." "Pretty much can't stand to see Flanders." "But he'll need something to cheer him up when his boys run away." "You know what, Flanders?" "I think you should take her back." "Homer, don't be crazy." "Look at that tail wag for you." "Have you seen what it does for me?" "No, no, no." "To her, I'm just another dog." "A dog she's in love with but can never have." "But she's only got one of you, Flanders... the guy who will take care of her forever." "Oh, thank you, Homer." "This has been the happiest dog day afternoon ever." "Aw..." "I'm still not sure... did you do that bulldozer thing before?" "You were there." "Maybe when I hit you with the blade, you forgot some stuff." "I was trying to get your attention, but it was heavier than I thought." "Well, no one fought more than Cummings and McLeod when they invented the bulldozer." "Even the name "bulldozer" was a great source of..." "Aah!" "Bart, I can't do this." "No offense, but I have a mother who still loves me." "QUIMBY:" "We come here today to honor this sign, which was purchased, letter by letter, from other failed towns." "Huh?" "Aw, stupid Mom." "Stuck something in my backpack." "Typical." "Oh, man, she makes good chicken." "You're the best boy a mom could want." "I've failed as a mother!" "I'm growing a conscience!" "I've got to change this prank." "Much better." "(creaking)" "Our iconic sign is aquiver!" "(nervous chuckle) Everyone remain calm." "This is a part of the show." "(quietly):" "VIP's, follow me." "Much better." "I don't seen nothing wrong." "Better to die a VIP than to live as an ordinary American citizen." "SKINNER:" "It says "F-D."" "It's a tribute to the fire department." "(crowd cheers)" "The chili-cooking saints of the city!" "It's true..." "we do love our chili." "The secret is stirring it." "I'm a huge fan." "That's why I wear suspenders and start little fires here and there." "(panting):" "Mom, Mom..." "I learned there's a line I won't cross, and it's 'cause of you and your chicken." "That woman does make convincing chicken." "You're the best boy a mother could want... if you tell me about the bulldozer." "All right." "It was me." "(gasps) Why, you little... (quiet grunting)" "(chuckles)" "Yeah, harder to strangle than it looks, isn't it, Marge?" "Oh..." "And you're under arrest." "How'd you figure it out?" "I heard you say it." "The only way I solve any crime." "You don't have to stop hugging." "(coughing)" "So you see, Mom, because of the wrinkled lay-down paper in the nurse's office, I got mono." "You really should've kept your eyes on that ball." "Oh, all these problems." "You kids are like whack-a-moles." "Oh, that reminds me." "Maggie hurt herself playing whack-a-mole." "Aw." "Come here, you." "Come here." "I know I've been having my fun elsewhere, and no one could blame you if you didn't take me back, but if you'll have me, I'll take you on the longest walk of your life!" "No hills." "Dogs... so easy to make up with." "(theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly playing)" "(meows)" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606" "Shh!"

""Previously on Smallville"" ""I knew you would return my son"" "I felt as if something was calling me home." "Everything we've been trough with Jor-El..." "I just wanted to close that chapter in my life." "There is a darkness in me that I can't always control." "Well, you've certainly seen me at my worst." "And at your best." "Three relics... hidden around the world... by scientifically advanced ancient cultures..." "Water and this one means fire... and the one up there that air." "Put them together..." "Where is it?" "God help me." "By now you'd know that Lana... is nothing more than my mothers pawn." "Martha, Clark still feels responsible... for my heart problems." "If you'd found out something..." "Something someone didn't want you... to know about them..." "Would you tell them?" "What did I do?" "You trusted me." "I can't let you walk out, not again..." "That's why this time it'll be different." "This time?" "You are an amazing young man, Clark, you make life and death decisions every day." "Trust your gut!" "Greed will drive others to hunt the Stones... and will drive the world to famine... war and the earth's ultimate destruction." "Where is the stone?" "I gave it to Lana." "She is the chosen one and we all know that." "Clark's more connected to this than any of us." "It's Clark, he's..." "A man can't deny his true nature." "It's time to fulfill my destiny." "I am the villain of the story." "And now Season Finale of Smallville." "I have to applaud you, Lana." "I raised my son... to have a willpower... that couldn't be broken by anything." "Except his love for you, apparently." "What do you want from me?" "The stone." "That one Lionel gave you." "Lionel?" "He never gave me the..." "I'm gonna find it whether you help or not." "Clark!" "It's okay, it's just a bad dream." "You scared the daylights out of us yelling like that." "What?" "You kept yelling "It's coming!" over and over." "She was coming at me, it happened so quickly." "I don't even remember stabbing her." "Lana, I want you to take a deep breath and try to relax." "Lex, a woman is dead because of me." "I killed her." "No, no!" "You had no choice." "You did what anyone would do if their life was at stake." "I have to tell Jason." "She was his mother." "I'll deal with Jason." "Lex, there's a body in my apartment." "I have to go the police." "I have to tell them what happened." "Lana, I'm not sure that's such a wise idea." "Genevieve Teague was a powerful woman, married to an extremely powerful lawyer." "Even though it's clearly self defense..." "Edward Teague is gonna make sure... the jury sees otherwise." "What's gonna happen to me?" "I'm gonna go to prison." "No." "I'll hire one of the best defense attorneys... in the country." "And once he arrives from New York, we'll go to the authorities." "Ok." "Thank you." "You have to trust me." "Until the lawyer arrives," "I want you to stay here and talk to no one." "My purse." "Where's my purse?" "Don't worry." "It's still there." "I'd never take it from you." "Mr. Luthor." "We have a situation." "It's gonna be okay." "I can't help but feel this is some kind of warning." "Clark, it was nothing but a bad dream." "You used to have nightmares all the time... when you were little, remember?" "This time is different." "It felt so real." "And if it is a warning I need to do something." "Yeah, what you need to do... is you need to get some shuteye.." "so that you're not half asleep tomorrow... when they hand you that diploma." "Your dad's right," "Don't let a nightmare spoil your high school graduation." "Nightmare?" "So that's what all this commotion is about?" "Lois." "You know, if it makes you feel any better..." "I have'em all the time." "I had this one last week... really scary!" "This, uh,... guy wearing a red cape." "Oh, that sounds horrible, Lois." "Yeah!" "There's something I wanted to tell all you guys," "I just didn't know when to, so I guess 2 A.M. in the morning... is good as time as any." "What is it, Lois?" "Oh, The general recruited me... on a recon mission to track down my sister, the grifter, in Europe." "So, we are headed for Heidelberg tomorrow." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." "Clark, I know how devastated you must be... but if you could just... keep your tears to a minimum, I'd appreciate it." "I'll try." "Thanks." "Mr. and Mrs. Kent," "I just wanted to say thanks for everything." "You guys are... like the mom and dad I've always wanted to have." "Lois, we want you to know that... you are welcome back here any time." "Actually..." "We'll all miss you, Lois." "I'll miss you all, too." "Him... not so much." "I'd thought I do Miss Lang a favor and... tidy up the place a bit." "She left a quite a mess, quite a mess." "What are you looking for, dad?" "The good housekeeping seal of approval?" "You know, for a woman without a heart..." "Genevieve Teague certainly did have a lot of blood." "You didn't come here to do a postmortem... on Genevieve Teague." "What is it you want?" "I'd like to offer a trade." "Lana Lang's freedom... in exchange for the, hmm, artifact she has in her possession." "Dad, don't you think your search... for these three ancient stones... is starting to border on the fanatical?" "Let me remind you, Lex, it was you who looted the ruins of Egypt... to get your hands on one of those stones." "Trust me, Lana Lang has nothing to do with this." "Oh, so chivalrous of you." "You are the gallant hero trying... to protect the damsel in distress." "I'm warning you." "Leave her alone!" "But all your life you've had a, uh, a tendency to let the damsel... lead you straight into the mouth of the dragon." "Your feelings for Miss Lang, don't let them cripple your common sense, son." "I expect to see that stone by noon tomorrow." "It would be a shame if, um, Genevieve's corpse... were delivered to the sheriff... with Lana Lang's DNA as postage." "Sir, you better take a look at the right ascension." "How long has there been activity?" "There was not anything there 10 seconds ago." "It just came out of nowhere." "My God, it's headed straight for Earth!" "I realize hand-eye coordination... isn't one of your best qualities." "Here, let me help you with that." "Lois, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do without you." "Ah, come on, Clark, your future is laid out right in front of you." "You're gonna go to community college, major in agriculture, probably minor in law enforcement." "And then you and Lana gonna have... a nice little church wedding." "Excuse me?" "It's written in the stars and you know it." "It's only a matter of time... before you join the bowling league... and take over the family farm, and then, well, you and Lana can bring little Clark Jr. into the world." "I think you're hallucinating." "No." "Hallucinating would be imagining..." "Clark Kent going off to the... big city to make his mark in the world." "I'm just being realistic." "Lois, what are your big plans after Europe, you're gonna go back to school?" "Maybe actually stay a little while?" "I have a feeling that if I'm gonna get an education, it's gonna be in the real world." "And I took this career test in some magazine." "It said that my perfect job would be, uh, radio disc jockey." "That makes sense, you talk enough, there won't be any dead air." "You mock me now Smallville, but you just wait and see." "Journalism, do you ever thought about that?" "You wrote some half decent articles... in your short lived career at the Torch." "Naw, kill me first." "Even if I could spell, the last thing I'd wanna do... is spent my time in a newsroom." "With my luck I'd probably end up across the desk... from the most bumbling reporter on the masthead." "You know what?" "You actually look handsome for a change." "I'll take that as a compliment." "Look, I know we've had our disagreements in the past." "And I will be the first to admit... that I've made own little hobby... to bust your chops." "Gotten used to it." "Besides, I know I haven't been the most gracious host." "Look, I just want you to know, Clark, that when I'm sitting in the audience today... at your graduation... and you stand up on that stage... in front of all those people..." "I wanna be looking up at you and thinking one thing." "What's that?" "Please, god, don't let him trip!" "See you." "Garon Cooper." "Caroline Creese." "Cody Davis." "Erica Feldman." "Lauren Feldman." "Did you see Lana yet?" "Still no sign." "I'm starting to get worried." "Lana's never so much as had a tardy day." "She's not gonna miss her high school graduation." "She'll be here." "Michael Hall." "Holy Harold." "Tanya Hart." "Kate Horton." "Michael Hoover." "Hannah Jacobs." "Michelle Jewel." "Oh, there's Clark." "Clark Kent." "Lana Lang." "Have you seen her?" "Lana Lang." "Attention!" "Stay calm!" "By order of the Federal Emergency Dekret:" "All non-essential personnel should evacuate... the area within a 50 miles radius." "In approximately 3 hours, a meteor shower is predicted in Smallville." "Oh, My God." "Not again." "Please stay calm." "There's no need to panic." "Please seal your home and carry only necessary items." "Hey, Clark." "can you believe it?" "Twice in 16 years," "I mean, this is just crazy!" "Smallville's gotta have some sort... of extraterrestrial bulls eye!" "That's pretty weird, eh?" "There's gotta be some kind of connection in the cosmos." "I mean this is not just a coincidence." "Yeah, I'm sure there is some sort of explanation." "Well, there's just something in Smallville... that is screaming for celestial attention." "I mean, lightening not strike twice in the same place... without some kind of lightning rod, right?" "I just wonder what that is." "I-I'm not sure, but we don't much time, we need to find Lana." "You're right, and if anyone can find her... with moments to spare, it's you, Clark." "Why did you say that?" "I don't know, because you have a way... of getting things done in half the time... a normal person gets anything done." "And I'm not normal?" "No, of course you are normal, Clark." "You're as normal as they come." "Now, let's hurry and to find Lana." "Looks, I'm sure she's already out of town." "They've evacuated half of the county." "They probably saw her running in late... and told her to leave town." "That's exactly you two need to do, right now." "Thanks for the tip." "Now listen to me, Smallville," "If there's one thing that the General has taught me... is that you cannot panic... in times of crisis." "Do you hear me?" "Okay, whatever happens, you have to stay calm." "You cannot panic." "Because if you lose your cool..." "Lois!" "What?" "You're panicking." "Fine." "Clark, where the hell have you been?" "We gotta pack up." "I've been looking for Lana everywhere." "I can't find her." "Sweetheart, she's probably already been evacuated." "I want you to go up to your room and pack... everything that's necessary." "Your mom and I will take care of everything down here." "No, I gotta do something first." "Don't think for a second this is your fault." "I came to Smallville in a meteor shower." "Now it's happening again and it's all because of me." "Clark, there is absolutely nothing you... could have done to prevent this." "We don't know that." "There's gotta be something I can do." "Clark, you don't have time." "I don't have a choice." "Lex, what are you doing here?" "I wanted to offer to you and your parents... a safe passage out of here in a LuthorCorp jet." "The roads will be pretty ugly soon." "Thanks, but I think we'll be okay." "Clark, why take the risk?" "The first meteor shower caused me... irrevocable damage." "Trust me, you don't want to be near here when the next one hits." "Thanks, Lex, but I think my dad's... gonna wanna pack up the truck... with as much as we can take." "I understand." "Some things simply can't be replaced." "Clark, my scientists have identified... what seems to be an inner chamber... inside the cave wall." "Really?" "I was wondering if your research into the cave... might have turned up anything similar." "No." "Lex, why are you so interested... in the caves when there's... a natural disaster headed our way?" "Clark, if anything in this town is irreplaceable... it's those caves." "They've been around for thousands of years... and they can very well be destroyed in the next..." "Well, let's hope they're not." "I really need to get to help my parents." "Good luck, Lex." "Thanks, Clark, but I don't believe in luck." "It's our wits and our fortitude to keep us safe." "And I'm sure you have more than enough of both." "Stay safe." "You're my father." "Talk to me." "Tell me what you've done!" ""It was you who brought this upon yourself, Kal-El. "" "What did I do?" ""I sent you here to unite the 3 elements. "" "The stones?" "They have nothing to do with me!" ""But they do, Kal-El." "For the knowledge... of the universe is meant for you only. "" ""Yet you chose to deny your heritage. "" ""Today, you will witness the consequences. "" "Then you send the meteor shower?" ""I have done nothing, Kal-El." ""Human blood has stained one of the elements... and awakened a great danger... from the darkness of the space. "" "What can I do to stop it?" ""There is nothing you can do... to prevent what is already in motion. "" ""But the meteor shower is just beginning, Kal-El. "" ""I warned you that the elements could not fall"" ""into the hands of a human." "The three must become one. "" ""It is the only way to save Earth from total annihilation. "" "I don't know where they are!" "I don't have time to find them!" ""If you don't unite them at once, you, my son,"" ""will be seared by a fire from the sky"" ""even you can't survive." "The future of mankind"" ""rests in your hands, Kal-El. "" "Please.. help me!" "I can't do this alone!" "I can't believe I almost forgot this!" "That's great, sweetheart," "I almost have the truck all loaded up." "Great." "Shelby, load up." "Clark, great." "Would you help me secure the truck?" "You have to go without me." "What?" "Do I have to remind you, Clark, that the last time we had a meteor shower, was full of kryptonite." "If the same happens today it could kill you." "You have to come with us." "I spoke to Jor-El." "He told me I have to find the other two stones right now." "And unite them with the one in the cave." "No." "You are my son." "You're not gonna go on some kind of suicide mission." "Clark, you might be stronger than steel, but you're not invincible." "I know, dad." "But I'm the only one who can do this." "All right." "But I want you to listen to me right now." "All the years that your mother and I... spent raising you from that... wide-eyed tattler running around on this farm... to the man who is standing in front of me right now... was for this moment." "You do this, son." "You make us proud." "Those meteors can kill him, Jonathan." "I know that, sweetheart." "But we have faith in our son, then we can't let that faith waver now." "Lana, I thought you already evacuated." "Are you okay?" "I'm scared." "Lana, I know this meteor shower... must bring up some painful memories for you... but this time is different." "We have warning and we'll be safe." "No, I'm not so sure." "Clark, I don't know what's going to happen to me." "I want you to have this." "Where did you get this?" "In China." "Whatever it is, whatever it means, I..." "I somehow know that it's meant for you." "Is this blood?" "Remembers all those times that I asked you... for an explanation, but you said you couldn't me one." "That I had to trust you?" "Well, this time I need you to trust me." "Lana, my parents are about to leave right now." "Go with them." "You'll be safe." "I can't." "You have to." "Clark, I need you to know... that whatever happens, I will never forget you." "Lana, you're talking like we never gonna see... each other again." "I love you." "I love you, too." "Good-bye." "Chloe, even though you won't hear from me for a while," "I want you to know that I'm okay." "I thought we'd agreed you wouldn't talk to anyone." "I have to let my friends know that I'm all right." "Lana, I understand you not want anyone to worry, but you have to trust me." "Now, I assume the stone is still safe." "As safe as can be." "Well, let's keep it this way." "I'll put it in my vault." "Why?" "A chopper is being fueled to evacuate you to Metropolis, where you'll stay at a hotel until your lawyer arrives." "It's probably best not to travel with the murder weapon." "I understand that, Lex, but I'd rather hold on to it." "Lana, that object is what prosecutors fondly refer to... as the smoking gun." "Now, I'll do anything I can to protect you... including supporting whatever... story of self-defense you want to run with." "It's not a story, Lex." "I would never murder somebody." "Of course not." "Lana, I trust you." "Now you have to trust me with that stone." "Sorry, Lex, but I can't do that." "Jason?" "Jason!" "Shelby, no." "I'm having what you could call a rough day." "Why don't you just calm down, son?" "Where is Clark?" "He's not here." "Look, why don't you put down the shotgun, and we'll talk about it?" "Tell me where he is!" "Why would Lana be at the Lex's mansion... when she's suppose to evacuate?" "I don't know, but it could swear... that was Lex's voice in the background." "She sounds like she's in trouble, Lois." "I can't abandon her, I mean, the mansion is just around that bend." "Unless you have a jet pack in your purse... we're not going anywhere." "Emergency vehicles only." "Turn the car around immediately." "Well, our friend could be trapped inside." "We just gonna go grab her and then come right back." "I'm sorry, mam." "Nobody gets trough." "We're way too close to turn away." "Hey, soldier!" "Is this a road block or... a lemonade stand you got here?" "Wait a second, I recognize you." "You're the..." "Daughter of General Lane." "You might have heard of him." "He talks really loud, smokes a stogy." "Hey!" "Hey, this barricade... it should be perpendicular to the road." "Those channelizers should be further apart... and, unless I need glasses, there should be reflectors on those cones." "Yes, mam, I understand, but I can't let you trough." "You're a cub scout out here soldier." "Where's your den mother?" "Baking brownies?" "What happened to your survival instincts, dad?" "Fire and brimstone are about to rain down... from the sky and you're sipping a cocktail... like it's Sunday at the country club." "I am aware of the imminent danger, Lex, but I'm not about to leave... without knowing that my son is all right..." "Come on, who's kidding who?" "You're not about to leave without the element." "I hate to disappoint you, but I haven't even seen Lana Lang." "She's probably on the run... halfway to Costa Rica by now." "Oh, a face like Lana Lang's isn't easy to hide." "It's just a matter of time before... she catches the attention of some customs official." "All right." "Agree to leave her alone, and I'll give you something you desperately need." "I am a blessed man, Lex, I need very little in life." "I wonder, what good is a key if you don't know where the lock is?" "Wise observation, why do you think any of this applies to me?" "You have one of the elements, dad." "That much is clear." "What you don't have is the knowledge of where it belongs." "I can help you, take you there right now." "I wish I'd were true, Lex, but I don't have the stone." "Mr. Luthor, what happened?" "Get J.D and take my father upstairs." "Mr. Luthor we're evacuating..." "Do it!" "Can you hear me, dad?" "Before you leave this earth, I want you to know..." "You did create the son you always wanted." "Come on, hurry up!" "Jason, why don't you let Martha go?" "She doesn't know anything about any of this." "Oh, a mother always knows her sons deep, dark secrets." "Now, where does he keeps the stones?" "Why would Clark know anything... about ancient stones?" "All right." "Let's see, when I ran into your son in Shanghai," "I decided to do a little homework on my own." "And the more I dogged the more Clark Kent's name... just got popping up." "Sit down!" "Was it coincidence... that the symbols were burned into your field?" "I don't know what you're talking." "Jason!" "What about Clark's connection with Bridgette Crosby?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "She had one of the artifacts!" "I suppose that was just a coincidence, too." "None of that makes any difference now." "You know, when my mother came to Smallville... she thought the Luthors would lead her to the stones..." "But she was wrong." "It was a farm boy." "The one who has no record of ever been born." "He's more connected to those stones than any of us." "There is a meteor shower about to tear this town apart!" "You need to get to your mother, get her to safety!" "Don't you think I know that?" "I can't find her anywhere!" "But I'll tell you one thing." "When I do find my mother," "I finally be able to give her the one thing... she's been searching for all these years." "Now tell me where the stones are!" "I'll meet you in Metropolis." "What?" "You're not coming?" "I have a pressing matter to take care of." "Now, Lana, for your own safety:" "I need that stone." "Look, we all have a need to cling on to things, but eventually... you have to loosen your grip." "It's too dangerous to you." "I don't have it!" "Lies don't become you." "It's the truth, Lex." "I don't have it." "Trust me it's safe, I promise!" "Where is it?" "That was never about my safety, was it?" "This is about you getting your hands on that stone!" "Lana... your safety is more important than any of this." "You mean a lot more to me than you know." "We can't wait any longer, Mr. Luthor." "We got to go!" "Lana?" "Lana?" "Oh my God, Clark." "Lex, I was looking for Lana." "She's already left." "What happened?" "I don't know, I just walked in." "You know more than you're telling me, Chloe." "Who did this?" "Lex, honestly, I just came to find Lana." "Your curiosity seems to always have a way... of landing you in precarious conditions." "Only this time you are on a very narrow ledge... with only one-way back!" "Now, who took the element?" "Lex, I swear it, I don't know what you're talking about." "But I think we need to get out of Smallville... before the meteor shower hits." "We'll find that stone, Chloe, even if that means dodging a few meteors in the process." "You're coming with me." "I don't..." "Let's go!" "Lex, I don't know what you're talking about." "I swear to God, if you don't start talking I'm gonna blow her brains out." "Sweetheart, it's no good." "Go ahead, tell him what he wants to know." "Tell him where the stones are." "Tell me what I want to know." "Go upstairs to Clark's room." "Oh my God." "You're not my daddy." "Come here, come here." "Daddy!" "Go!" "Go!" "Thank you." "Thank you!" "Why do I get the feeling we're not in this cave for cover?" "You know as well as do." "It's the epicenter." "Of what?" "Come on, Chloe!" "You're the town purvey of all things unexplained!" "You know damn well about this cave and the stones." "Lex, what's wrong with you?" "If you didn't break into my library, you know who did?" "Who are you trying to protect?" "No one." "Is it Clark?" "Clark?" "Of course not." "What does Clark have to do with any of this?" "You tell me." "You know Clark a lot longer than I have." "In fact, you might know him better than anyone." "You are right, Lex, I do." "And the Clark Kent I know... would be the last person to go super thief... on your library for some stupid piece of rock." "What is that?" "Lex, be careful." "It might be dangerous."

"6th Inning" ""Allballplayersshouldquitwhen itstartstofeel as if all the baselines run uphill. "" " Babe Ruth" "Ji Sun." "We went to buy the groceries together," "Nan Hee unni suddenly said that something came up..." "You wouldn't believe what I just said, right?" "You are making me out to be a bad person, right?" "You're chasing me out?" "I'm still thinking about that." "I won't go." "Ha!" "Look at you!" "Even if I'm told to go, I'm supposed to refuse." "Who told you that?" "Nan Hee unni." "And I was wondering why all this seem to have a touch of her?" "Bad girl, she loves to mind other people's business." "Tell her to run her own life well." "Noona!" "Jung Joo!" "Nan Hee!" " Let's go out." " I won't go." "Aren't you afraid?" "Cooking a meal with a single man?" "Don't trust a man so easily." "Have you seen a wolf bullying a woman?" "And..." "And amongst the pack," "I'm the worst one." "Let's go." "How could he pounce on you like that?" "Hugging a complete stranger!" "I told you he got the wrong person, right?" "Even so, you shouldn't have slapped him." "What if he retaliates and hugs you again?" "I was caught off guard." "Why?" "Nothing, mom." "[Nan Hee]" "So embarrassing." "Ji Sun." "Why do you always make me feel bad?" "If that happens often," "Maybe because of it I'll get to hold onto you." "Mom, let's go to the convenience store." "Why?" "I forgot to buy soy sauce." "I'm all out." "Go ahead." "I'll head up first." "Give me the keys." "Oh yes, I use the number code, right?" "Go with me, mom." "I told you to go ahead on your own, what's wrong?" "Noona!" "Unni!" "This guy..." "Is the one earlier, right?" "Let's go." "Are you angry?" "That's why you came back?" "Oh, women are all like that." "When we get hugged by strangers, of course our hands automatically go up." "Mom..." "That's not correct, actually..." "Just keep still, you're living on your own so don't make any enemies." "Mother!" "Who?" "Oh, this guy!" "He... what's up with him?" "I..." "I'm her boyfriend." "Boyfriend?" "That's..." "What's that?" "Oh!" "I've lived for so long, this is the first time..." "Mother!" "Stop calling me that." "When I hear it, I get even angrier." "Jung Joo, you should go back now." "It's better if I do the explaining on my own." "No." "I have things to say too." "Of course you have to speak up." "Mom, let Jung Joo go." "Let's talk at a quiet place." "I'll explain things to you slowly." "Noona, rest your heart." "I'm confident of convincing mother." "Can't you see I'm at the limit of my patience?" "Open the door quickly." "Mom!" "Why aren't you opening the door?" "Shoes!" "Why aren't you coming in?" "Seems like you get spot checked pretty often." "You just acted like a well-drilled soldier." "I should chase that one out quickly!" "Today, your image has been destroyed quite a bit." "What?" "Isn't it?" "You were chasing me off so cruelly but look at you now." "I'm hungry." "Don't talk to me." "Shall I sneak out and get us some food in here?" "Are you having fun?" "Ah!" "Don't we have the groceries?" "Is this a picnic for you?" "Although I feel bad for those outside," "I'm actually enjoying myself very much here." "Luckily, we have survival food." "Why don't you say luckily you have someone to chat with?" "You want some juice?" "No." "You shouldn't drink too in case you need the toilet." "I think I came on the right day." "Don't tell me you really want to marry?" "Mom!" "I really love noona." "Truly." "I'm sick of hearing those words." "Stop that." "Tell me." "Can you get married?" "Then..." "With no thoughts at all about marriage, you're clinging onto someone of age?" "I'm now..." "What marriage?" "He's still a student." "You know that yet you're doing this?" "I'm willing to get married." "I want to." "He was forced to say he wants to." "You happy now?" "Hong Nan Hee, are you happy?" "Destroying the bright future of a promising young man right here." "Living in poverty with someone who doesn't making a living, you like that?" "Will you be happy?" "So why did you have to bring up marriage all of a sudden, you scared him." "Scared?" "Did he get the worse shock or did I?" "Actually, I planned to get married before I go to Major League in America." "Speaking honestly, I don't have much ability currently." "Fool!" "You should have just left, why did you come back?" "So what if he left?" "Behind my back you'll be dating him till you're old?" "Wake up!" "You!" "When you're 40, will he still be looking at you?" "Mother!" "Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that?" "I..." "I'm not that kind of jerk." "Really..." "I wanted to be..." "An adult of age too." "I love noona." "I'll take full responsibility." "We will not break up." "Shut up!" "You're like a shivering child before me, how can I entrust my daughter to you?" "This is such a cruel world," "Did you move out to live like this?" "Pack up right away!" "I can't let you live like this." "Mom!" "Otherwise, break up in front of me now." "Mother!" "I can't do without noona." "I'll work very hard." "Mom, give us some time." "Noona, no!" "Time?" "What time?" "This is foregone conclusion." "How can you force us like this?" "Mom, this is your first meeting with him," "But we've spent many months together." "Yes?" "Just leave it there." "We don't know when she'll come again." "Troublesome." "I'm sorry." "You want some beer?" "Not daring to say anything, he just stood there so embarrassed." "Did he complain?" "Compared to that," "The distance between us is just stifling!" "It's true." "How can he not be shocked?" "Forcing a child, who has yet to serve the army, to get married." "So?" "What's your plan?" "Now that your mom knows about it," "From now on, it's a time bomb just waiting to explode." "So it is." "It has to come to an end soon." "Either I get married immediately," "Or I convince my mom to wait some more," "Or I wave and say bye bye." "Love..." "Will always have an ending." "Hey!" "Those grey stuff on women's faces..." " Spots?" " Yes." "You have that!" " Really?" " Yes." "Really!" "I've only been upset for a few hours and here they come!" "Use your brains a bit more." "Otherwise when there's a sudden attack, of course your body can't take it." "Hyung Tae." "Here." "White hair." "So what?" "You want me to pluck it?" "What?" "Hyung Tae." "All this while, I've been waiting for the punk to be ready." "When the time comes," "If that passionate kid turns cold," "And I'm no longer a woman in his eyes, what will I do?" "I'm already growing white hair." "If Jung Joo realizes that there are many more younger and prettier girls than me in this world," "You'll totally lose out." "Madam Kim," "She really opened up the big door of reality for me." "It has been opened all along." "You are fools to realize it only now, you two!" "First," "Pull this out." "Hey!" "Got it." "Get up first." "Can you see?" "What are you lying down on?" "Got it." "I know." "Put your hand down." "Where's the white hair?" "Here it is." "So much!" "A lot?" "It's not supposed to be a calligraphy brush, why are there so many?" "Ah!" "Hey!" "You'd better shave it all off." "You stroking my hair like this, I'm feeling the fatigue." "But what shall I do?" "From now on, mom is going to come here often." "It's alright, it's Jung Joo." "Oh my goodness!" "Really!" "Noona!" "Noona." "Jung Joo." "You can't be like this now." "You still have your test, don't you?" "Just focus on that for now." "Oh my gosh!" "You said it was supposed to be a secret but you went and leaked it out yourself." "You're totally naive." "What if you fail to make it because of me like in the nationals selection the last time?" "Noona, I'm very depressed." "I'm very depressed." "Next time, remember to press the doorbell, I got a bad shock." "Hyungnim, I hurt so much." "It's all up to you." "Who cares whether you marry or not." "Do you have enough for bus fare?" "Wait a minute." "I'll give you some." "Get a taxi." "Lunatic!" "You even have to give him pocket money?" "Just do what you want." " Oh!" "You scared me!" " You're up?" "Hey!" "Because of you, my heart is failing." "I'll live on with vigor, I'll try my best." "No matter the outcome, I'll try my best." "Who ever asked you about that?" "It's a decision I made for myself." "It's not like you're some acrobat here." "Hyung Tae." "It's great that we're friends." "What?" "Love is..." "Either marriage or break up, there'll surely be an outcome." "But friends can remain forever." "Without end, continuing..." "Even in future, forever..." "Hey!" "My reward for being your friend." "What?" "Cook for me." "Oh!" "You're here." "Hello." "Weren't you here to see it all last week?" "Didn't you say there were some changes?" "Did you come just for that?" "In order to publish the correct details," "I have to see it myself so I make no mistakes." "It's really hot today." "Here." "Yes it is." "Thanks!" "Where's the other one?" "That adorable new staff." "Ah!" "Ji Sun?" "She went for training." "That's too bad." "She said she liked tea so I bought it specially for her." "Actually, I'm the one who likes tea." "Is that so?" "There's no tea in our vending machines, she had to go all the way to the convenience store." "So I thought she was the one who likes it." "I really couldn't tell, Manager Byun." "Aren't you a really fussy boss?" "If you say so." "I'm back." "Yes." "Director, what happened to this space?" "Oh!" "We freed up Ji Sun's space." "Oh, you shouldn't have..." "What?" "Nothing." "Shall we go to the internet cafe?" "I have to go for training." "Hey!" "What if you really make it to America?" "House rentals are so expensive!" "Why are you suddenly looking for a house?" "Without one, I can't get married." "Are you crazy?" "Noona!" "You're really going to live with that ahjumma?" "It's nothing." "Don't forget the training time." "Yes, see you tonight." "Oh it's alright." "It's just a simple interview." "Yes." "Yes, me too." "Yes." "Where did she go?" "Nam Jung!" "You're dead if you talk like that again." "Are you going to get married?" "No." "Then why are you looking at this?" "Manager Hong, don't bother whether others are getting married or not," "Just marry yourself off first." "Tell me." "You're hiding something from me, right?" "Author Lee Kyung Ha says she needed material so I looked for it." "Is that so?" "Oh, nerd!" "Before I get to anything like her state, I'd better marry myself off." "Make her fall down!" "Fall down!" "Fall down!" "Make me younger by three years!" "Seven years!" "No, just five years will do." "First, cancel that for me." "I'm already begging you like this." "I told you I already paid my wife's portion, why can't she use it still?" "Oh, really!" "Customer, this is a family card so there's nothing we can do." "First, you have to pay up the interests that you owe..." "What?" "Customer." "Our phone conversation now is being recorded." "No..." "I'm not threatening you." "Are you going to keep scolding me like this?" "Yes, can't I scold you?" "Now my wife and children have no money to spend." "So, customer." "You're already blacklisted for bad credit." "I think we informed you about this earlier." "Don't bother whether I'm blacklisted or not," "Just activate my wife's card first." "Haven't I already paid up for that card?" "I told you we can't do that." "What's this?" "A computer's automatic reply?" "Are you human?" "Stop saying the same thing over and over," "I need you to tell me a solution." "That's what I'm doing." "If you don't pay up, there's nothing we can do." "Maybe my colleague will hunt you down." "Is that alright for you too?" "What?" "You're a real thug now, huh?" "Fine." "Just come if you want." "Who's afraid?" "The one guiding you on the phone so far is L-card's Kim Chun Hee." "Oh!" " Oh!" "I'm so mad!" " Unni, what's wrong?" "What's the use of him losing his temper at me?" "Yesterday he asked me to activate his wife's card too." "Clearly, his wife is having an affair." "I think so too." "Looking at the expense items..." "Hotels, restaurants." "Where is Director Im off to again?" "He was around just now." "Pull out the wires of this computer." "This thing is the biggest waste of electricity." "I can't sack the person but I can't put up with his extravagance also." "Nan Hee." "Yes?" "Can you go out with me for a while?" "Yes." "I'm the only one to enjoy this treat?" "Do you find meaning in your work now?" "I used to write novels in the past too." "You did?" "Ten years from now you'll be just like me, chatting with your employee." "I could tell very easily." "Why?" "Are you feeling melancholic?" "When did you start feeling proud of your job as an editor?" "Come talk to me when you have that same pride." "I'll tell you then." "You'll tell me as we're drinking wine?" "Just don't sprawl yourself and cry at that time." "You did that?" "You wait and see." "Why are you just eating cucumbers?" "Here." "Eat this." "This." "Here." "This is golden not yellow!" "I failed to find a sponsor." "Gosh!" "What will you do?" "What else?" "I'll just have to publish a good book to build my house." "Till that day comes, I want to work hard to keep going on." "So eat a lot more." "Didn't you say you're going to see author Shin Joo Young?" "I was just saying..." "Why do I feel like I was being led by the nose?" "Oh no!" "And there are flies in here too..." "Oh yes!" "Would you like some abalone?" "This is yellow, I thought it was golden." "Eat up." "You said you wrote novels, that must be a lie too." "With such beautiful skin, there's no need for makeup." "If you don't start taking care from ten years old onwards, it'll become ugly." "Really?" "Is that why she looks like this?" "Well..." "Today we're going to meet player Kim Jung Joo, right?" "Actually..." "He's my boyfriend." "Is that so?" "Yes." "Anyway, you were going to find out so..." "What's this?" "That disturbing smirk..." "What's your favorite food?" "Um... why are you asking that?" "It's for my writing." "Oh, I like everything." "I like snacks," "The lunch box that noona packed for me the last time was delicious too." "What are your hobbies?" "Wait, let me go to the toilet." "Alright." "Ah!" "Could it be..." "You like green?" "Yes." "How did you find out?" "I think I heard it from somewhere." "Jung Joo, go on to the toilet." "I say," "It's for character research that I'm helping you on this," "But, are you doing a personal investigation?" "Jung Joo made time for this in his extremely busy schedule," "If you wanted to ask about these, you should have just asked me." "You're seeing Jung Joo just to ask about these?" "I'm his fan." "Fan?" "Yes." "Player Kim Jung Joo's fan." "Is that so?" "Fine." "Even if you're his fan..." "No, then why didn't you tell me this earlier?" "Not just a simple fan," "I love him." "When the time comes, I'm going to tell him myself." "If you tell him before that, I won't forgive you so easily." "And if you won't?" "Since I broke contract a first time, does it mean there won't be a second time?" "I... earned lots of money." "Paying the penalty for breaking contract is nothing to me." "But right now, your company has no financial source." "And you'll be in a tough spot if you don't publish my book." "Hey!" "Do you think a contract is child's play?" "If you compare that to my love for oppa, it can't qualify as child's play." "Since senior high till now," "Without oppa, my youth would have been very painful." "How do I get close to him?" "I thought about that for five years." "But," "You found out he's my boyfriend." "That's destiny, right?" "How can my boyfriend be your destiny?" "Oh, see how you say my boyfriend, you seem to feel threatened." "Ah!" "Really!" "This is ridiculous." "If only he dumped you, all matters will be resolved." "I'm putting up with you even though I'm upset." "Stop it now." "I don't feel like talking to you." "Anyhow, I won't bother about this." "Just write your book well." "Miss Hong Nan Hee, you're older than him by eight years, right?" "What kind of ending will this relationship have?" "I know." "So this is where it stops." "That guy..." "Must..." "Become my all." "Noona, you should keep your hair long like hers, it's so beautiful." "Ah!" "Oppa, please give me your phone number." "If I have questions, I can call you, right?" "Sure." "Why are you on a strike?" "The deadline is the day after tomorrow." "Do you ever read the newspaper?" "Why?" "Did something happen?" "Um..." "Yeah?" "He's getting married." "So what?" "It's a serious situation." "It's an accident." "I wouldn't care if it was Jang Dong Gun or Jung Woo Sung." "They have their own lives, I know that." "But even if he wasn't mine, he seemed as though he was mine." "What am I going to do about this feeling of loss." "Turn on the music." "Okay." "Listen to music and become energized." "What do you want?" "Why did you" "Have to leave me" "Was that JK Kim Dong Wook?" "Lee Yoon Ah." "B*tch?" "(bitch in Korean is Lee Nyun, so she heard that instead of Lee Yoon Ah)" "Did you just insult me?" "You don't know Lee Yoon Ah?" "I don't know." "I miss Nan Hee." "Why are you acting like that again!" "How can I work with someone who doesn't know the difference between hunger and an empty stomach?" "I'm so mad." "Nan Hee!" "Manager Hong!" "Yoo Suk* is getting married." "(*short for Yoo Jae Seok - a Korean entertainer)" "I know." "What is this?" "That's not the problem!" "What kind of person is that?" "I'm stressed out enough as of now already." "Of course you need to have a match with her." "He's your guy." "That would be even funnier." "But the weird thing is that the more I talk with her, I keep falling low with her." "And I feel like I'm floundering in the mud." "She looked really naive." "She's just pretending." "She's a total psycho!" "Is she pretty?" "She's pretty." "Her skin is really smooth and looks really nice." "If Manager Hong's words are true..." "They're true." "I want to videotape her real side." "If that's true, then she's strategically attacking you." "Those kinds of girls are really scary." "That happened to me before also." "That happened to you also?" "About 12 years ago." "Or is it 11?" "Well... she's just a child." "A child?" "She's going to be a college student soon." "If you see it as a big picture, she's on a side and you're on the other side." "Wow, you must be really nervous." "What do you mean nervous?" "Do I not know Jung Joo?" "You saw Jung Joo." "Would Jung Joo be moved or something?" "Nooo." "No?" "I feel so bad." "I can't take it anymore." "Why?" "What?" "You can't be like this right now." "You need to take care of yourself." "You're going to lose him if you stay still." "What are they?" "Dong Hap Makeup Set." "Have it." " What?" " It's new." "Dong Hap Makeup Set?" "The makeup name is really heartrending." "What am I doing?" "Mom, what?" "You came?" "I'm coming here too often these days." "I know." "It must be really hard for you." "Aren't you embarrassed?" "There's a limit." "How can..." "When he's standing next to you, he looks like your nephew." "You probably don't know because you're out of your mind, but it looks like that to everyone else." "I would enjoy watching that kind of situation on a drama, but I can't let my child be like that." "What in the world..." "Are you really planning to get married with a student who didn't go to the army yet?" "And what's wrong with him?" "Being caught by you?" "After you get married, what if he becomes attracted to girls?" "Don't regret it then." "Please listen to me." "People don't match others depending on age for no reason." "Why aren't you saying anything?" "!" "Honestly, I didn't have anything to say." "Mom was right." "I know everything too." "You waiting for him is crazy too." "He seemed far from being able to support a family." "An athlete?" "He might not be able to do that for the rest of his life." "I heard he's out of his mind like you and said he's going to play baseball in America?" "Even if he does succeed, he's not going to anytime soon." "Unni." "You left this." "You bought those kinds of stuff." "You're trying so hard." "Do whatever you want." "Bye." "Love makes me uneasy but I have no courage to break up." "When I think about our future, I become scared." "Choose one from the things I'm going to say." "Jung Joo, give me some strength." "Okay, say them." "Excited Nolboo*." "(*character from a book called "Heung Bu Jeon")" "Already undressed king." "Give me your trust." "So that my love won't be so uneasy." "Give me something that I can hold onto tightly, Jung Joo." "Night when you can't fall asleep." "After you take your pants off." "Elder brother with a mouth infection." "What do you like?" "What is that?" "I want to use one of them on my cell phone screen." "I'm about to get tired." "No, why are you doing that?" "It's fun." "Each day seems like a hill." "Noona, there's a quote from Babe Ruth here." "How about this?" "When you start to feel that every base line feels like a hill, you must quit baseball." "Isn't that really awesome?" "Should I use that?" "But is it too long?" "How many letters can I use?" "Babe Ruth is a batter." "I'm a batter too." "What should I do?" "Excuse me!" "Mister from apartment number 705!" "Oh, hello." "Why?" "Do you have a girl?" "I don't want to marry yet." "I would feel bad for the partner if I go on a blind date like this." "No." "Meet her." "I feel like this one will work." "89% of the matches I made worked." "She's 28 years old." "I heard you're 30." "This kind of age difference is good these days." "She's from a publishing company, Jang Comics." "What?" "You know that?" "I heard it's a pretty big company." "It's a lady from that company named Hong Nan Hee." "If you're hesitant, do you want a picture of her?" "Do you want to do it after you see it?" "No, I'll just go on a blind date." "Really?" "Hold on, let me call her." "Oh yeah, do you work?" "Oh, I'm an Antique Appraiser." "You came?" "What are you doing?" "This lifts your face skin." "Are you drunk?" "Do you want to join me?" "You shouldn't be doing this right now." "That's what everyone is telling me these days." "Nan Hee, you shouldn't be doing this right now." "Do you know who the ahjumma from apartment number 605 told me to go on a blind date with?" "I don't know." "Is it Hyun Bo Ram?" "What are you doing?" "It's you..." "Ms. Hong, Ms. Hong!" "Me?" "!" "Yes, you!" "[August 10th, Montmatre, Antique Appraiser:" "Choi Jin Sung]" "Oh, okay." "Okay." "I'm really suspicious." "She's really happy?" "She said thank you for changing my mind." "That ahjumma." "Hey, hey, hey." "What should I do now?" "If mom comes here often and she sees the ahjumma from downstairs." "I'm really confused." "I think I'm going to die because I get nervous and my heart thumps because of you." "Should we just move?" "Does that make sense?" "I have to hurry up and save money to move out." "Hey, you're quick at making up your profile." "Antique Appraiser, Choi Jin Sung?" "How is it?" "You're attracted, huh?" "You're definitely different since you have fooled many girls before." "I heard you were 28 years old?" "And I heard you were really pretty?" "My mom said that?" "I can't stop her." "Where's Montmatre?" "It seems like a French restaurant." "You've never been there before?" "Why would I go to that kind of a place?" "This is the best profile I've ever seen." "A good job." "And a tall height." "And the same age." "And has a good choice about location." "What if we didn't know each other?" "If I didn't know about you and went to meet you, what would've happened to us?" "You would've been attracted to me." "It would be bothersome." "August 10th?" " Huh?" " That day!" "Say it first." "It's the neighborhood meeting that day." "What?" "I went last time." "Are you stupid?" "Oh, yeah." "I need to go." "How about you?" "Didn't you say you have something that day too?" "I was going to tell you not to forget and call your mom that day." "You need to lie that you at least met the guy." "I should write it down." "You smell like alcohol." "Go wash up." " Do I smell?" " Yes." "I'll go brush my teeth." "I was going to feed her oily food." "Whatever!" "I like that song." "If I leave this house, I'm going to miss that sound." "One!" "Two!" "Three!" "Four!" "One!" "Two!" "Three!" "Four!" "Five!" "Huh?" "Joo Young!" "Continue practicing, I won't bother you." "What are you doing here?" "I just stopped by on the way to school." "I wanted to see you practicing." " Do these kinds of things help?" " Of course!" "When your actions come into my eyes, they all become words." "These kinds of things also?" "These too?" "These help too?" "Oh yeah, oppa." "Don't tell Manager Hong that I came here, okay?" "Why?" "I'm going to get yelled at for ruining your practice." "Okay." "But you have to write an awesome book, okay?" "So that Nan Hee will be happy." "Okay." "Look forward to it!" "But oppa, can I hit one of the balls you throw?" "No, it's dangerous, you're going to get hurt." " Just once." " It's dangerous." " Just once." " Just once?" "Just once." "You're connecting the two together?" "It's too empty." "The office feels empty now that Ji Sun isn't here." "Shall I clean my desk also?" "It looks like someone who needs love." "It looks like that to me also." "What ambition do you see in me?" "Wow, that's amazing." "You're good." "Once more." "Here..." "You're really good." "Propose?" "Yeah." "If I pass this test, I'm going to officially propose... to noona." "You packed everything, right?" "Yes." "My condition is perfect." "I have 100% energy." "It's time." "Go now." "Do well there." "Okay." "Kiss me." "Here?" "Okay, I will." "You tried your best, didn't you?" "Yes." "Do well." "I'll wait for you." "Oppa!" "You came?" "Hey!" "What are you?" "She said she'll go with me because she wants to know the testing process." "Stay here." "Are you crazy?" "Calm down." "Do you think he looks like he's going there to play?" "This vacation seems like my chance to me." "Vacation?" "His life is dependent on this." "My life depends on this too." "Can you not go?" "This is a really important test for him." "He prepared really hard for today." "This..." "This might be his last chance, Joo Young." "Oh?" "Please." "It's time for the plane." "I'm going." "Okay." "You're telling me that you're going to go no matter what?" "Okay." "Then I'll ask you a favor." "Please don't bother him when he's testing." "You can do whatever you want the rest of the time." "But, please make sure he doesn't lose his focus." "And that his condition doesn't worsen, okay?" "Okay." "Oppa!" "How about we move this to here?" "Hey, Byun Hyung Tae." "Come out." "Why?" "Hurry up!" "What again?" "I need a tentative plan for an advertisement." "I'm in meeting right now." "Why are you complaining so much?" "We need to go film tomorrow!" "It won't take much time." "Five minutes." "Exactly five minutes!" "You're going to take it." "Please help me!" "The women's restroom?" "Hurry up." "What are you going to do?" "Take it." "Did you pay her?" "Or you're going to sell this after secretly taking it?" "It's an ad for constipation pills." "Just take pictures, I'll be right back." "How can you do this to me!" "Um... tt tells me to do this." "Um... can you take off your shoes?" "Um... your stockings also." "Can you follow the script please?" "You..." "Are Ji Sun, right?" "How did you know?" " You're working already?" " Yes." "I heard you like girls with pretty ankles?" "Who said that?" "Nan Hee unni." "She tells people weird things." "Sunbae." "Am I really not the one for you?" "You look like you need love too." "[Hyung Tae]" "Yes?" "You're not answering the phone quickly." "Are you not nervous anymore?" "I think I left it in the bathroom after taking a bath." "Of course you would do that." "What do you think happened, Hyung Tae?" "It's already been two days since the day he was supposed to come." "I'm hungry." "I don't care whether you're hungry or not." "It would be miserable if I eat alone." "Then come home." "Today is the 10th." "So what?" "Oh yeah!" "You're responsible for it!" "If you're going to have a hard time just because of that little kid, stop it, you idiot." "Who said I was?" "I'm just worried that he would have failed the test because of that mean girl." "You said you told her..." "That she could do whatever she wants the rest of the time." "Maybe he passed the test and they're planning on coming after going on a short vacation." "Can you imagine it?" "In my head, the two of them are jumping into the fresh California water." "Hey!" "Do you think I'm going to forgive you for thinking about someone else on a blind date with me?" "Okay." "Let's rest for a bit." "My head and my heart need some rest." "Eat and sleep well today." "And see the brilliant sun tomorrow." "Is the sun really bright?" "Eat." "What is this?" "It's cold." "The summer menu here is excellent." "It tastes..." "It has a very elegant taste to it." " You like it, don't you?" " Yes." "Let's act like adults today." "Talk face to face with an adult." "Hey." "It was funny the last time I went to your company." "But when I see you outside of the house, you seem unfamiliar." "Is it because you're wearing a suit?" "My suit is a bit sexy, isn't it?" "It's different from the sexiness you get when you're young." "It gives off a feeling of calmness?" "How is this?" "You're out of breath, aren't you?" "Should I allure you today?" "Would simply taking your tie off work?" "Restroom." "What is this?" "Why?" "The light is wonderful." "It was a good buy." "My heart becomes warm." "I think I'll be able to write well." "Thank you." "A person's heart is very wicked." "I was frustrated and nervous as though the world was dark for ten days ever since Jung Joo left." "Do you know what I thought when we were eating?" "This kind of date is better than a date where you eat spicy rice cake and ramen." "Yes." "I want to do these kinds of things at times." "Not a boyfriend whom I have to give allowance to." "I want to receive a gift sometimes too." "But it's not like I'm expecting something from a famous brand." "To say the least, I do not want to be in a relationship, where I would have to struggle with counting coins in my wallet." "I'm quite a snob, huh?" "You're going to happily eat spicy rice cake and ramen when he comes back anyways." "I don't know." "If my mood was like today's, if I really went on a blind date with an Antique Appraiser named Choi Jin Sung," "I would have fell in love with him." "Do you want to come to me, thinking that I'm Choi Jin Sung?" "Your service is a bit too much today." "Hello?" "You came." "I came here immediately from the airport." "Okay." "Sorry for not calling you." "There was a problem." "It's okay." "Did you eat?" "Let's go inside." "No, it's okay." "I'll tell you right here." "Noona." "Let's get married." "What?" "I really want to get married." "I know it's a bit fast for me, but that's the only way I can focus on baseball." "I love noona." "I can take care of her." "We can't break up!"

"MAN:" "This is it." "This is your chance to do something positive." "Give something back." "You can help people, you can really make a difference to people's lives." "That's what community service is all about." "There are people out there who think you're scum." "You have an opportunity to show them they're wrong." "But what if they're right?" "No of fence." "But I'm thinking some people are just born criminals." "Are you looking to get stabbed?" " You see my point there?" " (MOBILE RINGS) Hi." "Doesn't matter what you've done in the past." " Doing my community service." " Hey." " Boring as fuck." " Excuse me." " Hello, I'm still talking here." " I thought you'd finished." "You see my lips still moving, that means I'm still talking." "You could have been yawning, or chewing." "End the call." "Hang up!" " My probation worker..." " All right there, weird kid?" "Don't be disgusting." "I'll call you later." "I'll rip out your throat and shit down your neck." "I shouldn't be here, man." "We need to work as a team here." "Hey, that's enough!" "Can I move to a different group?" "This isn't working for me." "What makes you think you're better than us?" " What is that accent?" " Is that for real?" "Are you trying to say something?" "It's..." "That's just a noise." "Are we supposed to be able to understand her?" " Do you understand that?" " I think she likes me!" "Hey, pack it in." " It's love, man!" " What?" "Do it, man, do it." "You're a prick, man, look at you." "(ALL SHOUT AT ONCE)" "You're a fuckin' pussy, bruv." "He's taking the piss." "Come here!" "Oh man, there's paint on my cap." "This is bullshit!" "Ooh!" "(LAUGHS)" "I know you." " No, you don't." " Yes, I do." "You're that runner guy." " You screwed up big time." " You noticed, yeah?" "Thanks for reminding me." "I'm guessing shoplifting?" "..." "No?" "Don't act like you know me, cos you don't." "I'm just making conversation." "This is a chance to network with other young offenders." "We should be swapping tips." "Brainstorming." "Come on, what did you do?" "A girl called me a slag so I just got into a fight." "Was this on the Jeremy Kyle Show?" " No, it was in Argos." " Argos?" "You should have got one of them little pens and jabbed it in her eye." "What about you, weird kid?" "Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like a panty-sniffer." "(SNIFFS)" "I'm not a panty-sniffer." "I'm not a pervert." "(GRUNTS)" "(GRUNTING GETS LOUDER)" "I tried to burn someone's house down." "Fire?" "(THUNDER RUMBLES)" "What did you do?" "Me?" "I was done for eating some pick 'n' mix." "Bollocks." " (THUNDER RUMBLES)" " What is going on with this weather?" "How did that happen?" "I mean, you've been here five minutes." "It's painting benches." "How did you screw that up?" "You tell me, because I've got no idea." " What the hell was that?" " Oh, Jesus!" " (CAR ALARM RINGS)" " What's going on?" "That's my car!" "Classic." " (SCREAMING)" " Oh, my God!" "OK, so I'm a little bit freaked out." "What is that?" "Right, let's get everyone inside." "Move!" "Move." "Run!" "(SCREAMING)" "Keep going." " It's locked." " Open it." "Come on!" "What is happening?" " What is happening?" " Open the door!" " I'm finding the right key." " Come on!" " Open the door." " Open the fucking door!" "Don't speak to me like that!" "(GRUNTS m PAIN)" "(CAR ALARMS BLARE)" "I feel really weird." "That'll be the lightning." "We should be dead." "A little reassurance might be nice, you know." ""You're fine." "Looking good."" "Wanker!" "Did he just call me a wanker?" "Hey, hello?" "Is everyone all right?" "We could have died, you dick." " Are you all right?" " Urghhh!" "You're acting like a freak." "Maybe we should call it a day." "That's right." "Scrape it back." "What did you say?" "I didn't say anything." " She's such a chav." " What?" " What?" " What?" "!" "Do we just go, then?" "Where's the probation worker?" "I think there's something wrong with him." "It's like he was having a spasm." "He was probably just faking it, to get compensation." "Cheap bastard." "I don't think he was faking it." "And you'd know all about being... mental." "Wanker!" " Are we waiting for something?" " Probation worker." "I'm not hanging around for that dickhead." "(GRUNTS)" "(DOOR CREAKS)" "(GRUNTING)" " (MOBILE RINGS)" " Shit." "Look what you did to my phone!" "Man, I'm telling you, I'm coming out there, I'm gonna mash you up." "Oh, good boy!" "Is he a good baby?" "You're my little man, are you?" "Cutie, cutie, that's my little baby cutie." "DOG:" "You dirty bitch." "I've been licking my bollocks." "Ohhh." "Who are you fucking winking at?" "I'm gonna shag that poodle next door, she's proper dirty." "Mum, it's me." "My key won't work." "Are you going to let me in?" "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "I need to give my relationship with Jeremy a chance." "Jeremy?" "!" "Come on." "The guy's a total dildo." "You are always making fun of people." "Nothing anyone says hurts you." "Not everybody's like that." "Has Jezza been crying again?" "Come on, open the door." "I've changed the locks." "What?" "You can't be serious." "If you stay, he'll leave." "Where am I going to live?" "Mum, open the door." "Your things are by the garage." "I've put some money in your rucksack." "I'll call you in a few days." "Mum?" "Mum, don't, come on." "Mum!" "Mum!" "Mum!" "Hey, Adam, how's tricks?" "How's the herpes?" "All right, calm down, it was a joke." "Billy." "I need a favour, mate." "Can I stay at yours?" "Come on, it'll be a laugh." "Liz, you don't mean that." "You...you don't." "Well, I don't believe you." "Holly." "Holly Boyd." "The Paul meister!" "Yep." "No, it's OK, I'll find somewhere else." "No, no, I'm good, I'm good." "It's dead weird." "It's like I'm off my face or something." "Keith was talking to me, and he's a dog, yeah?" "It's doing my head in." "Get her tits out." "I'm telling you, I'm losing it." "All right." "Why don't she want to have sex with me?" "Come on, sex her up." "Oh, yeah!" "What if she thinks I'm shit in bed?" "She's been with loads more people than I have." "Maybe she's screwing around." "Argh!" "What are you doing?" " I'm not a slag." " What?" "What are you talking about?" "You think I screw around?" " Man, you've lost it." " You think I'd do that to you?" "You're a mental case." "We're over." "I've had enough of you." "I fucking love you." "I can't believe I gave her that ring." "(YAWNS)" "(TOILET FLUSHES)" "Mum?" "It's me." "So, I just want you to know that there's no hard feelings." "I forgive you." "You made your point." "Point made." "So let's stop all this nonsense, OK?" "So..." "I'll come round, and we'll hug, and you'll cry, and I'll move back in." "Sorted." "Everybody's a winner." "Anyway, so, call me, yeah?" "I'll be expecting your call." "OK." "# Let him stay in bed Till he's fed up" "# You know he can't go on" "# His life has felt so long" "# All ready to go" "# You know he's so lonely... #" "This is a joke." "Did one of you do this?" "Don't look at me, I didn't do it." "I'll tell you who did it, it's that Banksy prick." "There's a hidden meaning." "It's like that monkey policeman with the banana and the Tesco's bag." " Maybe someone wants to kill us." " Why would anybody want to kill us?" " Come on, you lot, let's get changed." " Have you seen this?" " Someone's taking the piss." " Yeah, terrible, isn't it?" " All this anti-social behaviour." " Oh, is he having a dig at us?" " (PHONE RINGS)" " Right, that's it!" "All of you, just give me your phones." "No-one's making any more calls today." " Now, come on." " Are you allowed to take our phones?" "What?" "I'm expecting a call from my mum." "OK, take a message." "Wanker." "SIMON:" "Is he allowed to take our phones?" "He's probably using them to call one of those sex lines." "Those sex lines will eat your credit." "Call them a lot, do you?" "He's out there feeling himself on our phones, naked, masturbating." "Isn't this Gary's cap?" "There's blood on it." "Has anyone seen him?" "Did you see that?" "What was that?" "I'm talking to you." "Something's happening to me." "I'm right here!" "Look at me!" "Look at me!" "Can't you see me?" " Do you want some of this?" " No, I'm good." "SIMON:" "Give it here." "Come on." "For fuck's sake." "(HE GRUNTS)" "Yeah, you just relax, innit?" "Take it easy." "Someone's just going to write something else on there tonight." "They make us do these bullshit little jobs, wearing these bullshit orange jumpsuits." "They can suck my dick." "Nice." "Feel free to check out my tits, yeah." "She can't throw me out, she's my mum." "I'm a homeless." "That is so embarrassing." "You know after the storm, did any of you feel like dead weird?" "Yeah." "I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus." "I should say something." "I'll just sound like a freak." "What, did you feel weird?" "You don't want to hear about my anus?" "Do you really need to ask the question?" " Something happened." " What's that?" "Squeak up." "Something happened to me." "Are you a virgin?" " Hi-ho!" " Shut up!" "What was it?" "It's nothing." "Would I?" "I think I would." "Oh, my God, I'm thinking about shagging a chav." "Get a grip!" "What was that for?" "Jesus!" " Kelly, where are you going?" " Oh, shut up." "I'm talking to you." "You can't just walk off whenever you feel like it." "Get your hands off me, you prick." "You just keep pushing, don't you?" "Push, push, push." "I'm sick of dealing with scum like you." " I'll report you!" "" Oh. yeah?" "And who's going to believe you, eh?" "You're nothing!" "You little bitch!" "Jesus!" "(MOANING AND GROANING)" "NATHAN:" "It's a shame more women don't commit crime." "Why is that?" "The way I see it, we're a girl short, man." "How's that?" "There's three of us and only two of them." "It looks like one of us is going without." "And I'm not being funny, but I'm guessing you drew the short straw." " Bad luck." " There was four of us." "I'm talking about getting laid." "So how are we going to do this, man?" "Do what?" "Divide them up." "Cos I gotta tell you, the one with all the frizzy hair," "I don't see me and her getting it on." "Because she's beautiful?" "No, because she'd be way too much effort." "She looks high-maintenance!" "You'd have to treat her really well." "PW." "But that other one." "(SNAPS FINGERS)" " Kelly." " Whatever." "A couple of Bacardi Breezers, man, I reckon she'll be good to go." "I might need more than a couple myself, but who's counting." "Yeah, and the girls, like, do they have a say in this?" "A group of young people doing mindless shit all day." "Face it, man, it's going to happen." "It always does." "It's biology." "Or physics." "One of those." "So do we have a deal?" "(SPITS)" "No." " Fine, then maybe I'll take both." " Yeah, I see that happening(!" ")" "Yeah, you will, then you'll be sorry you didn't accept the deal." "And then who's laughing?" "Me." "What did he get done for?" "He said he was done for eating some pick 'n' mix." "Prick." "When I was in sixth form, you came to my school." "You gave this big talk about athletics and all your medals and that." "So, I'm guessing you're not going to the Olympics." "Funny." " I heard he was dealing crack." " What?" "I wasn't dealing crack." "No, no, the papers said it was steroids." "That stuff will shrivel your dick." "It wasn't steroids." "I'm not a cheat." "That stuff in the papers was bullshit." "So what was it, then?" "I got caught with a little bit of coke." "All right?" "I messed up one time." "No-one gets community service for possession." "If it was anyone else, they'd have got a caution." "I get 200 hours' community service and a two-year ban from athletics." "They said, cos of my profile, they needed to send a message." "You let yourself down." "You let the kids down." " You let your parents down..." " Shut the fuck up!" "All I ever did was train." "You know nothing!" "I shouldn't even fucking be here." "You can't hit someone in a wheelchair." "Phew!" "Do want to know what I got done for?" "Not really." "(DRAGGING METAL)" "Fucking lesbo scum." "(GRUNTS)" "Me and my mate, Chloe, were having cocktails in this bar, yeah." "And she's hassling me, cos she wants to go to this party." "Chloe is on one, because she thinks Jack is doing Lucy." "A total slut fuck." "So we get in my car." "I drive us to the party." "We go into one of the rooms, yeah." "Jack's not doing Lucy, he's doing Ellie." "She is a proper slut." "Chloe freaks." "I'm driving us back into town." "Chloe's all like, "Oh, I feel sick." I'm like..." "Don't puke in my car." "Do not puke in my car."" "That's when the police pull us over." "I'm already banned from driving, so I am like, "Fuck."" "This cop, yeah... he hands me the breathalyser, and I'm like..." ""Do I suck, or blow?"" "It's insane, I'm totally working it, yeah." "(PANTS)" "(SCREAMS)" "Now, I don't know if this cop is gay or what, but he tells me I'm four times over the limit." "It's bullshit." "I didn't even want to go to the party." "He's gonna kill us!" " Shit." " Nice entrance." "Very dramatic." "The probation worker has just attacked me." "Something really weird is happening." "I'm hearing these voices." "It's like I can hear what people are thinking." " Been sniffing glue?" " The storm, the lightning, it's done something to us." "OK." "If you can hear our thoughts, what am I thinking now?" "This is bullshit." " You think it's bullshit?" " Course I think it's bullshit!" "You don't need to be a mind reader to know that." " Why are you in a wheelchair?" " It was the storm." "The strange tingling sensation in my anus has spread through my body and now I can't feel my legs." " I'm serious!" " Ow!" "Jesus!" "What do you mean, the probation worker attacked you?" " This does sound like complete shit." " He is out there and he chased me!" "Something's happened to me too." "Did you pop your cherry?" "Ah, we are all very happy for you." "Earlier on, when we were in the locker-room..." "I was invisible." "I turned invisible." "So, she's psychic and you can turn invisible." "That seems likely." "Did anyone witness this miraculous disappearance?" "You were all there." "I think we might have noticed you vanishing into thin air." "You didn't." "I was standing right there." "You couldn't see me." "All right." "Go on, then." "Do it." "Turn invisible." "(GRUNTS)" "Oh, my God, he's disappeared!" "Can't you see me?" "No." "You're invisible!" "You two are hilarious." "Really, keep taking that medication." "Don't go out there, he will kill you." "Of course he will, cos he's such a bad ass." "Don't!" "I would." "I would definitely shag her." "Come on, this is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard." "" No!" "" Ah!" "Argh!" " Can't you see me?" " No." "You're invisible!" "You two are hilarious." "Really, keep taking that medication." " Don't go out there, he will kill you!" " Of course he will, cos he's such a bad ass." " Don't!" " She's telling the truth." "And you know this how?" "I suppose you're psychic now too." "All this." "It's already happened once." "I open the door, the probation worker, he killed you." "You were right there." "You were dead." "Everything froze." "You were all just standing there." "Time went backwards." "What are you saying?" "What, you turned back time?" "This gets better by the second." "Everything happened again." "Exactly the same." "I'm telling you, don't open that door." "No!" "He's right." "The probation worker's gone mental." "Maybe he's on crystal meth." "That stuff makes you crazy." "My friend Chloe did it, she nearly shagged her brother." "And he's really ugly." "The graffiti." "I'm going to kill you." "He wrote it." "What did I say?" "I said there was a hidden meaning." "Or not." "Did anything happen to you?" "No." "We should call the police." "He took our phones, he's got all our phones." "He's stopped." "You dickhead, why did you come back here?" "You should have gone for help!" " What do you know, bitch?" "!" " Shut up, you chav." "If you call me a chav one more time, I'll kick you so hard in the cunt your mum will feel it." "Her mum will feel it - how does that work?" "He tried to kill me!" "I came back here to warn you lot and I could have left ya." "I'm sick of every single one of you judging me." "You can all fuck off!" "Whatever." "I'm getting out of here." "Out the back way, come on." "Fuck's sake!" "Is that blood?" "Oh, fuck!" "Jesus Christ!" "Get it off me." "Jesus!" "I did wonder what had happened to him." "He's going to kill us." "Turn back time, stop this happening." "I don't know how it works." "That's great, that's really useful!" "Come on." "Don't look at him." "I've got to have sex with you right now." "You're so beautiful." "What's up with him?" "Let's go, let's do it now." "Get off me, you freak!" "What?" "You're so hot!" "I'm gonna bone you, I'm gonna shag you senseless!" "Let go!" "What did I do?" "You said you were going to shag her." " You were getting your chap out." " Shut up!" "It's when you were touching her." "I'm so hard for you." "I want to rip your clothes off and piss on your tits." "What is happening to me?" "You sick bastard!" "What did you do?" "Is he dead?" "I'm no doctor, but... you see the way the back of his head's caved in like that... (SHOUTING) Chav!" "(SPLINTERING AND SQUELCHING)" "I am not a chav!" "That should do it." "You killed our probation worker." "This is very, very bad." "I feel sick." "He would have killed us." "We should call the police." "It was self-defence." "Yeah." "He's right." "We show him the dead boy in the locker, they'll do some CSI shit and figure it out." "They won't believe us." "We just tell them the truth." "We stick to our story." "What's our story?" "That he can turn invisible and that you can turn back time?" "It doesn't matter what we tell them, they'll say we're lying." "They'll say we killed them both." "No-one's gonna believe you, not any more." "If there's no body, there's no crime." "We should bury them under the flyover." "Yeah?" "How do we do that?" "Someone's gonna see us." "No, we give them a quick little..." "(WHISTLES)" "Put them in those wheelchairs, we wheel them up there, and if anyone sees us, we're just a bunch of young offenders taking a couple of specials for a walk in the sunshine." "I'm pretty sure this breaches the terms of my ASBO." "We don't tell anyone about this, yeah?" "About the storm or what it did to us or anything." "We are about to bury our probation worker, we don't need to be drawing any attention to ourselves." "I don't want anyone to know." "I cannot be a freak." "What about you?" "There's no going back now, man." "You're just as screwed as the rest of us." "You are black and famous." "You are probably more screwed." "I shouldn't even be here." "Just then, when he was touching ya..." "How were you doing that?" "I don't know." "Didn't you say you wanted to piss on her tits?" "Probably best to keep that kind of thing between you and your internet service provider." "Are you all right?" "If she can hear what I'm thinking, does she know I want to shag her?" "Shit, she can hear that!" "Hold on, all of you have some kind of special power." "Everyone can do something except me." "He can do something, he can do something and I can't." "That's ridiculous, look at him!" "How does that make any sense?" "Maybe you can do something, you just haven't found out what it is yet." "Yeah, right." "What if I can't feel pain?" "Ow!" "Did you feel that?" "Stop hitting me!" "# God knows you're lonely souls" "# God knows you're lonely souls" "# God knows you're lonely souls" "# I believe there's a time and a place" "# To let your mind drift and get out of this place" "# I believe there's a day and a place" "# That we will go to and I know you want to share" "# There's no secret to living" "# Just keep on walking" "# There's no secret to dying" "# Just keep on flying" "# I'm gonna die in a place" "# That don't know my name" "# I'm gonna die in a space" "# That don't hold my name... #" "So..." "If anyone asks what happened yesterday, we say nothing, right?" "It's just a completely normal day." "There's nothing here." "No note, nothing." "It's like he's just disappeared." "Some of them are here already." "Yeah." "I'll talk to them." "Gary and my colleague Tony have both been reported missing." "Their families are very worried about them." "Have you seen anything unusual?" "Anything at all?" "You saw something?" "A few days ago..." "I go into the toilets, Tony and Gary were in there." "They are butt naked, Tony has Gary by his hair, like this, and he's just doing him, doggy style." "And Tony is like," ""Who's your daddy?" "I'm your daddy, I'm Big Daddy." ""You like that?" ""Oh." "Whoo!" "Whoa." ""Oh, yeah, oh, yeah." ""Oh, yeah..." "I'm Daddy Cool!"" "So I'm guessing they've ran away to continue their illicit homosexual affair." "I ask you, in this world of intolerance and prejudice, who are we to condemn them?" "(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)" "Hi, this is Tony, leave me a message." "I'll get back to you as soon as I can." "Thanks." "Bye." "(MACHINE BEEPS)" "I think we got away with it." "Do you actually believe that or are you just really dumb?" "I actually believe that." "I was there." "I should have one of these bullshit powers." "You can have mine." "You want to hear what people are thinking about you?" "Not so much." "I want something good, something from the A-list." "Maybe you can fly." "He's not going to be able to fly." "Yeah, there's always someone who can fly." "Check it out." "Don't." "Ow!" "No, that's not it." "So, what happens now?" "Is this it?" "Are we gonna be like this for ever?" "What if we are meant to be, like, superheroes?" "You lot, superheroes?" "No of fence, but in what kind of fucked-up world would that be allowed to happen?" "I did not sign up for that." "Superheroes!" "I love this guy - you prick!" "What if there's loads of people like us all over town?" "No, that kind of thing only happens in America." "This will fade away." "I'm telling you, by this time next week, it'll be back to the same old boring shit." "(GROANING)" " You!" " You want to tell us who that was?" "There is something weird going on with Jeremy." "Argh!" "Can you get me a gun?" "There's no way I'm getting a dickhead like you a gun." "My mum told me to stay away from girls like you." "Your mum has never met a girl like me." "Let's do it on the desk." "Get off me!" "Let's get that wind flowing through your scalp, come on." "Someone knows." "They know we killed our probation worker."

"Remember the doorman strike?" "They have a union, in the fancy buildings and they went on strike." "You would think if any group of people would not wanna demonstrate what life would be like without them, it would be doormen." ""Let's see how they do without us."" "There's no doorman, people open the door, they walk in." "Who's gonna walk out next?" "The guys that clean your windshield at the traffic light with the dirty rag?" ""We demand shorter yellows and longer reds."" " May I help you?" " Yeah." "I'm just going up to see Elaine Benes." "Benes." "There's no one here by that name." "Oh, she's housesitting for Mr. Pitt." " Oh, housesitting?" " Yeah." "What are you, the boyfriend?" "Here for a quickie?" " Can I just go up?" " Oh, I get it." "Why waste time making small talk with the doorman?" "I should just shut up and do my job opening the door for you." "How about those Knicks?" "Oh, I see, on the sports page." "Why do you think I wasrt reading the Wall Street page?" "Oh, I know." "Because I'm the uneducated doorman." "So you think your parents will get back together?" "I hope so." "I can't take him living with me much longer." "He makes this kasha, it stinks up the whole house." " Hey, George, stick them up." " What?" "For these German tourists." "Pretend that I'm robbing you." " Why?" " So these people can go back home and tell their friends they saw a real New York mugging." "It'll give them a thrill." "All right, hands up, porky." "That's it." "Now, give me your wallet." "You got it in here, huh, fat boy?" "Is that all you got, huh?" "Is that all you got?" " All right, that's enough." " I'll tell you when it's enough." "All right, you better not say anything or I'll stalk you." "Where have you been?" "We're gonna miss the movie." "Let's go." "I am not going back down there." "I can't face that guy again." " What guy?" " The doorman." "I don't wanna play any more of his mind games." " What time does he get off?" " Six." "But then the night doorman comes on." "He's much scarier." "Well, it's almost 6 now." "Can't we just wait till he goes home?" " We'll still make the movie." " Okay, okay." "So, what did you do today, Dad?" "Today I went record shopping in Greenwich Village." "I bought this record, but I can't seem to find the hi-fi." "I don't have a hi-fi." " I gave you my old record player." " I gave it to Cosmo." "Cosmo?" "Who's Cosmo?" "I'm Cosmo." "Well, I want it back." "I want to listen to that cha-cha record." "One, two, cha-cha-cha." "All right, all right." "Can we go out and eat?" "Let me change my shirt." "Jerry, it's 6, let's go." "That doormars still milling around outside." "He's very peculiar." " No, don't..." " Hello." " Oh, hi, Mr. Pitt." " Give that to me." "Hello, Mr. Pitt." "How's Scotland?" "Elaine, are you having a party?" "A party?" "Oh, no, that was just my stupid friend, Jerry." "He just left." "We can go." "There's to be no entertaining while I'm gone." "Believe me, we're not entertained." "We're just leaving." " Grab those empty bottles for me." " I need to know what's in the mail." "Oh, well, Mr. Pitt, there's really nothing that can't wait." " We're trying to catch a movie." " Well, catch the later show." "I need to know what's in the mail." "All right." "I can't go." "The new TIME magazine." " The new People." " Oh, who's on the cover?" "Hey, buddy." "You?" "What are you doing here?" "You work at this building too?" "Oh, sure." "Poor doorman has to work two jobs to put food on the table for mother and baby." "No, I live here." "That's okay, isn't it?" "So you work all day as a doorman at one building and then you stand outside your building?" "Yeah." "You got a problem with that?" "Look, I'm not going in your building." "I really don't have to talk to you." "Goodbye." "You really think you're better than me, don't you?" "So my father opened his shirt..." " Yeah, and?" " Tell him, Kramer." "He had breasts." " What do you mean, breasts?" " Big breasts." "So what?" "A lot of older men have that." "No, not these." "These were real hooters." "I was throwing up all night." "It was like my own personal Crying Game." "You know, maybe you're gonna get them too, George." "Yeah, that's right." "What if it's a genetic thing?" "Like father, like son." "But your father's not bald." "No, no." "That skips a generation." "The baldness gene comes from your grandfather." "Then I suppose the bosom gene comes from your grandmother?" "Frank can't be too comfortable with those things clanging around." "He should wear something for support." " You mean, like a bra?" " No, a bra is for ladies." "I'm talking about a support undergarment specifically designed for men." "Boy, that brain never stops working, does it?" "That's right." "I'm gonna go noodle with this." "Hey, we're twins." "What?" "!" "Our shirts, they're the same." "Imagine that." "What?" "What did you say to the doorman?" "What?" "Nothing." "He claims that you followed him home and started harassing him." "What, does this guy got a personal vendetta with me?" "What did I do to him?" "Because I asked him about the Knicks?" " Hey, did you make the movie?" " No." "You wanna go tonight?" "You can pick me up." "All right." "Can we go to a later show so he's off his shift when I come by?" "So now we have to rearrange our lives to avoid the doorman?" "Yes, we do." "What is wrong with George?" "He's trying to get something off his chest." "All right." "I gotta try and talk my mother into taking him off my hands." "Help you?" "What are you doing here?" "You're supposed to be gone." "I traded shifts with the night doorman." "He had personal affairs to attend to." "My fellow doormen and I watch out for each other." "We don't stab each other in the back like people in your world." "Look, I don't want any trouble." "I don't have a doorman in my building." "I guess I'm not used to talking to them." " I'd really just like to be friends." " You wanna be friends?" "I'd like to be." " Then watch the door for a minute." " What?" "I just want to get a beer." "Be back in a minute." " Wait a second." "What do I do?" " It's not brain surgery." "Open the door for people." "If they don't live here, don't let them in." "Here." "Wear this." "Hey, hey, wait a second." "Hey!" "Hello!" " Wait a second, you live here?" " Of course I live here." "I've lived here for 20 years." "Now, if you don't let me in I'm going to call the police and have you arrested." "All right." "All right." "You think you're better than me?" " You gotta sign for it." " Oh, right, right." "Hey, how about those Knicks, huh?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Hey, I brought back your record player." "Oh, thank you, Kramer." "Put it over there." "Oh, boy." "Yeah." " So how you feeling?" " A little tired." " Does your back hurt?" " How did you know?" "Well, it's obvious." "You're carrying a lot of extra baggage up there." " Up here?" " Oh, yeah, top floor." "Listen, Frank you ever considered wearing something for support?" "Now, look at this." "Mind you, this is just a prototype." " You want me to wear a bra?" " No, no." "A bra is for ladies." "Meet the Bro." "So is your father excited about coming home?" "George." "Hey, Mom, what kind of woman was Grandma?" "All of a sudden you're interested in your grandmother?" "Well, you know, you get to a certain point you want to know about your roots." " Well, she was a lovely woman." " Yeah." " What about physically?" " Physically?" " You know, what did she look like?" " Well, you've seen pictures." "Well, you can't tell much from those pictures." "Tell what?" "Was she...?" " Was she a big woman?" " Big?" "No." "She was my height." " Bosomy?" " Bosomy?" "You want to know if your grandmother was bosomy?" "I was just wondering." "The information could be relevant." "Where do you get your genes from?" "That's what I'd like to know." " I can't believe you left your post." " He left me there." "You see the mind games?" "Hey, what's going on here?" "Somebody stole the couch out of the lobby." "Where's the doorman?" "How come someone wasrt watching the door?" " Jerry, let's get out of here." " Yeah." "Oh, my God." " Why were you watching the door?" " He asked me to." "We were getting along." "You know, my fingerprints are all over this." "That doorman knows you're a friend of mine." "He'll tell that co-op lady." "She'll tell Mr. Pitt." "Jerry, I'm in this too deep." "Don't you find it odd that as soon as he leaves, a couch gets stolen?" " Maybe he's setting me up." " All right." "Shut up." "Just let me think." "I gotta think." "We gotta get our story straight." " All right." "What if we say...?" " All right." "Here it is." "This is what we'll tell them." " You came to pick me up." " I came to pick you up." " Yeah, that's what I said." " No, I was just..." " No, I know." "It's not helping." " All right." "Well, just start again." " Okay." "You came to pick me up..." " Right." " You see?" "Again." " What?" "I said, "Right."" "All right, you came right upstairs without talking to the doorman." "But the doormars gonna say I was there." "So what?" "No one's gonna believe a doorman." " I don't know if this is gonna work." " Stick with the story." "We'll be fine." " Let me do the talking." " Okay." "Good." "Now fix me a drink." "How's that feel?" " This feels very comfortable." " You see?" " I feel 10 years younger." " And your posture's a lot better." "Look at you." " And I can breathe easier too." " I told you." "Frank, listen, here's what I'm thinking." " You have a friend in the bra business." " Of course." "Sid Farkus." "He's the best in the business." "It's our chance." "What do you say?" "It'll be me, you and the Bro, bro." "Let's do it." "Except we gotta do something about the name." " Why?" "What's wrong with Bro?" " Bro is no good." "Too ethnic." " You got something better?" " How about the..." "The Mansiere." " Mansiere?" " That's right." "A brassiere for a man." "The Mansiere." "Get it?" "Well, you scared her off." "We may never see Mom again." "Hey, George, what do you like better, the Bro or the Mansiere?" "Dad, we need to talk." "I had to use the bathroom so I asked this guy to watch the door for a few minutes." "Why should I believe you?" "Actually, it was her friend." "I was just speaking to the doorman here about the couch robbery." "Oh, really?" "The doorman." "And pray tell, what did the doorman say?" "He said he asked a friend of yours to watch the door." "Oh, my." "Well, the doorman certainly has a wild imagination, doesn't he?" "Well, what do we have here?" "Perhaps Ms. Benes can explain why a Jerry Seinfeld signed for this package at the exact same time the couch was stolen." "He'd never watched a door before, Mrs. Payton." "He didn't know how to do it." "You know, he's a comedian, Mrs. Payton." "They don't know how to do anything." "Don't you see what's going on here?" "He set us up." "He's playing all these mind games." " They're saying I'm responsible?" " There was nothing I could do." "He had a Federal Express slip with your signature on it." "Diabolical." "He thought of everything." "He was setting me up from day one." "Is it possible we were victims of a sting?" "I'm sure he's having a good laugh over this with his doorman buddies." "So you didn't even want the couch?" "No, I was just messing with his head." "And they think they're better than us." "Anyway, Jerry..." "Jerry." " We have to replace the couch." " Now we have to buy a new couch?" "Not necessarily." "Why don't you take back the couch you gave me?" " The one with the Poppie stain?" " Yeah, sure." "Then my father will have no place to sleep." "He's gotta move out." "But it's got a pee stain on it." "Well, the cushiors turned over." " I guess." " Yeah." "You get a couch, I get rid of my father." "It couldn't be more perfect." " Now, it's call the Bro." " Or the Mansiere." " Yeah, but I prefer the Bro." " I like Mansiere." "Well, I have to tell you, it's a very interesting idea." "You know, selling bras exclusively to women we're really only utilizing 50 percent of the market." " That's what we figured." " I told you." "And to be perfectly frank, I've always felt I could use some support." "I know when I'm wearing Ban-Lon there appears to be some jiggling." "I wouldn't be caught dead in Ban-Lon." "So, what do you see in the back?" "Hooks?" "Velcro?" " Definitely Velcro." " Oh, yeah." "Say you're getting intimate with a woman you don't want her fumbling and struggling back there." "I think we've all experienced that." "Summer nights." "I still have to talk about this to Mr. De Granmont but barring any unforeseen developments gentlemen, I think we're sitting on a winner." "Good." "Frank, I wanna tell you how sorry I am to hear about you and Estelle separating." "Thank you, Sid, but that's all in the past." "I'm ready to move on." "I've always been very fond of Estelle." "Beautiful woman." "I hope you don't think this is out of line but would it be okay with you if I were to ask her out?" "You want to go out with my wife?" "Where do you get the nerve to ask me that?" "No, I'm just saying..." "I know what you're saying and thinking." " No, Frank..." " Come on, Cosmo." " I'm not doing business with this guy." " Come on." "Frank." "Frank!" "Frank!" " Jerry took the couch back." " He took it back?" " Didrt you tell him I was using it?" " Oh, I pleaded with him." "Where do I sleep?" "Well, I took the liberty of packing your things." "Mom's coming to get you." "I thought Jerry didn't want that couch because of the stain." " What stain?" " Oh, you didn't notice?" "It has a pee stain." "You had me sleeping on a pee-stained couch?" "No." "No, no." "The cushion was turned over." "But the very idea." "You had me lying in urine!" "There's Mom." "There's Mom." " Is it safe to come in?" " Oh, of course." "Of course." "You're not having any of your transvestite parties?" "Will you stop it?" "I lived with him for 40 years." "I never saw him trying on my underwear." "As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover." "Here, Cosmo, you can have the hi-fi." "I don't need it now." " I got one at home." " All right." "Let's go." " We'll go out for dinner tonight." " I can't tonight." "I'm busy." "What do you mean, busy?" " I'm having dinner with someone." " With whom?" "Sid Farkus." "Sid Farkus?" "You're not having dinner with a bra salesman." "Hey, he only sells them, he doesn't wear them." "Okay." "That's it." "I'm not coming home." "But you can't stay here." "There's no place to sleep." "We'll work something out." "Stop him!" "Yeah, yeah, it's him." "Stop that man!" "It's him!" "Somebody stop him!" "Please, quick." "Stop!" "It's him!" "I know." "I know." "Help!" "Stop him!" "Hey, that record player is not yours." " No, look, somebody gave it to me." " You're a thief." "We have proof." "What is that?" "It's the first upper-body support undergarment specifically designed for men." "How does it connect in the back?" "With a hook?" "Oh, no, no, no." "Here." "Velcro." "Well, I suppose it will have to do." " It's a beautiful couch." " It's hardly been used." "Poppie." "Oh, hello, Jerry." " What are you doing here?" " Visiting my friend." " Hey, how you feeling?" " Much better." "Much better." "The doctors are saying I cannot have no aggravation so I sell the restaurant." "I just take it easy." "See, if I get excited, that's aggravated my condition." "The last time I got aggravated was in the restaurant with your friend." "She started a big fight about abortion." "It's you." " It's you." " What?" "You..." "I..." "I..." "I gotta sit down." " No, Poppie, no!" " No, Poppie!" "Kasha?" "No, thanks, Dad."

"She really is amazing." "That is not this challenge." "I'm really impressed." "Previously on Face Off," "Darla's alien beauty queen earned her her first win." "But Kelly was eliminated, leaving Team Anthony with just one artist." "Now seven artists remain, and tonight their skills will be tested unlike ever before." "This challenge might be the most daunting in Face Off history." "This is the hardest thing I will ever do." "Oh, no." "Just kind of get, like, a little frazzled and a little frustrated." "Mm." "Toohm!" "I am very happy with this." "In the end, only one will win a VIP trip from Kryolan Professional Make-Up to one of their 85 international locations, a brand new 2014 Fiat 500, and $100,000." "This is Face Off." "Good morning." " Hey." " What's up?" "Big winner." "What's up, loser?" "Congrats, by the way." "Thank you." "Ben, how does it feel to be the last man standing on Team Anthony?" "It sucks." "I feel like we had a pretty good team." "Since I'm the only one left on Team Anthony, there's a lot of pressure, so I got to put my best foot forward even more so because, being that he's such a good coach," "I really don't want to let him down." "We're in downtown LA walking down the street." "I'm not familiar with LA, so I have no idea where we're going or what we're gonna be doing." "We finally go into this beautiful building, but it's got this haunted old feel to it." "I'm thinking lots of cool stuff probably happened here." "Hey, guys." "Hey." "Welcome to the Herald Examiner building." "Once home to one of the nation's most highly-circulated newspapers, it's now a popular filming location for movies like The Usual Suspects," "Collateral, and Spider-Man 3." "This week's spotlight challenge delves into a type of character that has inspired generations of children and adults alike... superheroes." "This is awesome for me because in my younger artistic days," "I used to attempt to draw superheroes." "So I'm really excited." "Now, for every Batman, Spider-Man, and Superman, there's a Bruce Wayne," "Peter Parker, and Clark Kent." "These alter egos are seemingly regular guys who transform into superheroes when danger is lurking." "So for this spotlight challenge, you will transform a seemingly ordinary person into an extraordinary superhero character." "Of course, there's just one thing." "Always." "Simply making a superhero character is way too straightforward." "This challenge might actually be the most daunting in Face Off history." "Ooh." "What more could we do?" "What is it?" "Because you are the alter egos this week, and you'll be transforming yourselves into superheroes." "Oh, my goodness." "This is gonna be the hardest challenge and the hardest thing I will ever do." "Oh, my God." "Okay, is this excitement across the board?" "Yeah?" "Yes." "Now I know it's very difficult to apply make-up to yourselves, so you will have make-up assistants on application day to help you apply your prosthetics." "Nice." "All right, guys, go ahead and get started on your designs." "I can't wait to see you guys onstage." "Bye." "We're going to be applying makeup to ourselves." "No big deal." "No big deal at all." "My character has many elements of my life incorporated into it, including a fascination for dragons and vigilante justice." "I'm envisioning a new character in an older world." "I've named him Slayer." "This is a dragon-human hybrid." "He's an immortal assassin, and he protects people from corruption." "I'm very excited and I'm not excited at the same time." "I'm very introverted, and... nature was always my outlet." "So for my alter ego," "I want to pull inspiration from nature." "I want to do a mother nature-inspired superhero, who is a healer." "This is gonna be a cool makeup." "I have nothing solid yet." "I'm just throwing shapes around and poses." "I'm drawing a blank." "What would I look like if I was a superhero." "Superheroes and super villains are cool, but I don't know what I'm gonna do for myself." "Growing up, I was very quiet and shy and kind of introverted." "So I start thinking of ways that I can take those aspects of me and create the exact opposite." "I want to do more of a guardian angel type superhero." "She's elegant and beautiful." "And I want a very powerful silhouette." "So I'm excited to get back to the lab and start working on this." "We get back to the lab, and we have five hours on the clock to work today." "Can we see our ugly mugs?" "To have a live cast of myself is really weird." "I've got one at the house, but for some reason, this one looks like I'm a lot fatter, which is un-superhero-ish." "But that's okay." "I'll go with it." "Hey, guys!" "Hello!" "We got a birth... a birthday in the house, right?" "So everybody get over here." "Aww, thanks, guys." "Thank you." "How many people can say that they had their birthday on Face Off?" "I can." "This being my first birthday away from home, it means a lot to me." "Thank you, guys." "I'm thinking, um, he was a military experiment." "Mm-hmm." "Instead of doing a superhero," "I'm actually going for a villain." "I spent five years in the Marine Corps as a helicopter mechanic." "So my concept is a super soldier that was in a helicopter crash, and the government put him back together to create this war machine." "This is kind of like the RoboCop," "Terminator type line." "Yeah." "Ben is the last person on my team." "So it gives me the opportunity to give all my attention to him." "Maybe on the cowl, sculpt the top of your cranium." "He's also my last chance to get to the finale." "And I hope I can get him there." "He's kind of an anti-hero." "He's constantly fighting the urge to do evil things." "Yes." "His name is Reckoning, and he is an anti-hero who is a human that has made a deal with the devil to take up his job." "And he wants to use his powers for good, but he's slowly becoming a villain." "Instead of doing the traditional, two-horn devil," "I decided to go with almost like a crown shape." "So I'm really happy and excited to see how this is gonna turn out." "My hero, he fights giant monsters, right?" "But he has no fucking experience." "He doesn't know what he's doing, so he's just destroying cities as he's trying to help people." "I want my superhero to be funny." "So he's a bumbling superhero of Japan who created these gloves." "But the gloves work in reverse and actually amplify the person wearing the gloves." "So he's able to grow to immense sizes." "He tries to help people, but he's just ruining the city and millions of people's lives at the same time." "And much like my life, he is a fish out of water." "My mom's a wigmaker." "And she's showed me a lot of the stuff that I know now." "So I'm gonna make sure that I incorporate a wig and make it the biggest wig I have ever made, because my mom is my superhero." "So the wig's for her." "And I start pulling the hair back and just rolling it so it can get a more simple shape." "And then I use cheesecloth and wrap it so I have something to give the moss on." "Then I spray it black and then start gluing moss." "It's huge." "And I love it." "What is the idea behind the whole character?" "Um, mostly taking, like, a post-apocalyptic kind of world." "I finally have a concept." "And it's a sort of anti-hero." "Like, a part demon." "She protects humans." "And I'm planning on doing it black and white like she jumped out of the comic book." "I work at haunted houses." "I scare people for a living." "So her superpower is basically scaring them to death." "What does the face look like?" "I don't know yet." "That's... that's what I'm trying to figure out." " All righty." " Um." "And I'm having trouble, like, nailing down exactly what I want the face to look like." "And I just kind of get, like, a little frazzled and a little frustrated." "Hmm." "Stephanie's losing a lot of time by not moving ahead." "She needs to come up with something very fast." "It's halfway through the day, and I still haven't started sculpting." "I really want to do well on this challenge, but I can't even think of something to make." "I'm totally lost." "It looks like a comic book character." "Yeah." "You just need to figure out the perfect face." "It's Day 1 of our Superhero Challenge." "And I finally have a concept, but I'm having trouble figuring out the face." "So maybe a smaller, subtler piece." "That's what I was..." "I was thinking of just doing a brow." "Yeah." "A brow's great." "Just make sure your makeup looks flawless." "Yeah." "Laura's right." "No matter what I do," "I need to make sure my makeup looks perfect." "I'm going to do a dome shell, which is kind of like a helmet." "In the Marine Corps," "I did hydraulic sheet metal fiberglass work." "So this is really an opportunity to show some of my skills." "To make this helmet, I sculpted out in wet clay and then take it over at the black floor machine." "That's cool." "And then I can go ahead and start sculpting the cowl around this to make sure it fits." "We have mirrors set up at our stations, so I want to do a test makeup because we are our models." "So might as well test it out." "I'm using Kryolan aqua colors, lavenders, and greens." "And I hate it." "So I go for my second option, which is more natural tones." "I use a flesh-tone color, and I like that one." "It goes with the natural theme." "And I'm so happy I decided to do this now." "One of the most iconic parts of a superhero is how their mask is shaped." "So I'm just going for one that looks like maybe a dragon would wear." "The biggest thing with scales... you want them to read from far away, even if they're subtle scales." "The objective is to subtly suggest that he comes from a world with dragons, but he's still a human." "So I'm putting in scales, but not too many scales." "There's a lot of freedom with this particular design." "Because dragons didn't exist." "I'm throwing clay down." "I'm pushing it around." "I'm trying to get a subtle shape." "I don't want to do a superhero mask." "I'm going for a more organic, demonic look." "I named her Doll Face because I want her to be a pretty demon." "Did you figure out your concept?" "Yeah." "Just worrying about not doing enough on the face." "You just do an immaculate job." "Yeah." "Okay, just..." "it's got to be perfect." "30 minutes, everybody." "That's time, everybody." "Okay, good enough." "By the end of Day 1," "I have enough clay blocked out where I know what I'm doing for Day 2." "I just got to take care of my time management better and finish it." "It's Day 2 of the Superhero Challenge, and we have 9 1/2 hours in the lab." "And I have quite a bit to get done today." "Should I do some filigree work on the helmet or should I just do that on, like, the portions..." "Figure out the face first." "Okay." "The most important thing is getting the face sculpt done." "And as I'm sculpting," "I start looking at the pictures I took at the Herald building." "And I realize I can actually trace some of the filigree pattern from those pictures and transfer it onto my sculpt." "So once I trace the filigree, I press it against my sculpture, and it transfers the lead of the pencil onto to the clay." "So now I have an outline to follow as I'm placing the filigree." "That's cool." "I'm feeling good about my sculpt, so I go ahead and start molding my face." "I finished the mold really quick." "But I cannot use foam latex because I'm allergic to it." "So I run in gelatin." "I let it sit to set up, and then I'll come back later on." "Yesterday I blocked out most of the cowl." "I still have to complete it, and I need to get started and complete the face." "Do you ever speed sculpt?" "Not really." "Laura's concerned about my time management." "Stand up." "So she gives me some tips on how to do speed sculpting." "I like using my fingers and raking the whole thing." "Laura teaches me how to get the forms in a faster pace." "There." "See how quick that was?" "He does like to take his time, which is a good thing, but on this competition, you can't afford to take too much time." "I got to speed it up." "I want him to look scary and be disgusting." "I want to show the skeletal structure underneath the respirator because I think that will really bring out the villain aspect of things." "And when I open up that respirator, it will give me that little creepy factor that really just sells nasty." "I've been thinking about making wings for this guy." "Wings?" "I'm going to create some real badass wings sticking up out of his back." "I've had this decade-long pursuit of becoming a military pilot." "I like flight, and I think it's a cool element to add to it." "And then I pick out some foam and some steel bar." "And I run the bar through the two pieces of foam." "I bend it to the shape I want." "What do you think of that profile?" "And then I gaff tape it together." "100 miles an hour today." "I put two layers of cheesecloth on." "One on one side, one on the other, and latex them together." "It gives an effect of skin as opposed to raw materials." "Once I get latex on there, they start to look like dragon wings." "Dude, that looks awesome." "Shit." "I go to open my face and..." "Shit." "And I can feel the tackiness of the gelatin that's on the side of the mold, and it's not setting." "Oh, no." "I pop it out." "Then the edges are just atrocious." "I can't use it." "I'm really nervous right now because I don't have a face for my makeup and I don't know what to do." "This is not good." "Oh, no." "It's Day 2 of our Alter Ego Superhero Challenge." "And I'm really nervous right now because I don't have a face for my makeup." "The edges are just atrocious." "But I'm not giving up." "I just need to get it out of the mold." "So I'm powdering and peeling it." "My only option is to run it in silicon." "But I don't really know how to use it." "I'm not very comfortable with it." "We'll see." "How did it turn out?" "Not good." "Oh." "But I got to get this ready for silicone." "I love the size of it." "The arm pieces are important to my concept because they're the accidental reason my character becomes a superhero." "So I see these buckets and I think it would be kind of funny to go really, really big with these almost non-functional cannon arms." "So I take these serving dishes to use as a top for the bucket." "And I'm attaching tubing." "And then I vacuum form it." "And then I cut out the bottoms of the buckets so I can put them on my arms." "They look cool." "They need to be painted, but they're 90% done." "Toong!" "I'm gonna get out of here." "All right." "All right." "Good luck." " Cool, man." " You got it." "Make sure you know exactly where you're gonna take this thing." "Okay." "Leaving Day 2," "I think both Adam and Logan are on track." "But I only have two artists left on my team." "Bye, guys." "Have fun." "Losing one of them could really hurt my chance of going to the finale." "Along with the brow that I'm doing," "I'm gonna be making a mask that she holds in her hand to help scare the other demons." "I start sculpting a really fierce demon face." "I'm going with, like, super-arched eyebrows, and, like, a pointy nose, and high cheekbones." "It's not totally refined, but it looks good enough to be a scary mask." "That's time, everybody." "I think everyone's feeling a little bit nervous, but also pretty excited about tomorrow." "It's gonna be a stressful, hectic day." "But in the end, we get to be onstage as superheroes, and that's a pretty cool thing." "Good luck, guys." "Hey, the models are here." "Holy shit." "It's application day today, and we have four hours in lab and one hour Last Looks." "And we are all really nervous." "Laura, look at the edges." "Good mornin'!" "I know." "I look at my silicone appliance, and the edges are stunning." "They're paper thin." "This is just a weight off my shoulder." "I'm so happy." "That looks really good." "It's a little bit strange 'cause we're not waiting on the models." "We are the models." "Um, but we are gonna be having assistance today." "Hello." "Logan." "Nice to meet you." "Good to meet you too." " Hi!" " Vance." "Hi." " I'm Carey." " Nice to meet you." "I have applied makeup to myself before." "But it's not easy." "So it's really important for me to get the cowl completely pre-painted before I even put it on." "It's just this and a chin piece." "Okay." "And then the rest of it is the suit, which I'm trying to throw together." "I know that I have a lot more fabrication than makeup application." "So the first thing I do is pull the rest of the costume together." "I want to make all that look as good as it can be." "So I start to do some dry brushing." "Then I just dress the entire costume." "I just hope I've created something different enough that the judges will be pleased with it." "Hey, Logan, still look cheap?" "No, it looks awesome." "I am not a fan of putting prosthetics on my face." "So that's why I was like," ""I want to make a character where I don't have to put as much stuff on."" "All I got to do is put a brow piece on and basically paint everything in black and white." "I start from the nose and then work my way out." "I just got to make sure that it all lines up and it's not, like, totally crooked." "Now I have to start painting like crazy." "So it's time for me to apply a bald cap." "Just kidding." "What I have to do now is get these pieces painted and get 'em ready so that I can apply 'em." "If you're able to start pre-painting the packs on this." "It's time to take the cowl and really get that black, leathery, metal work on it." "And it's looking great." "So once I get these things applied," "I can just worry about the wardrobe, and I'll have an hour left at Last Looks." "Cold." "Good painting's about layers, not obvious, bold strokes." "Especially subtleties." "I'm finishing painting the face." "And the color scheme today is going to be very flesh-toned and green." "It's a hybrid of a dragon and a human, so I want to incorporate predominant colors from both." "See you later." "Yeah, bye." "The face goes on, and from here on out," "I'm gonna be Slayer, the Defender of Dragons." "Now, how do I go in and make it more translucent?" "I probably would layer upon layer of a very watered-down translucent alcohol-based colors on top of your flesh-tone." "I'm using alcohol colors to make it more translucent so we can really get that looking realistic." "But I'm nervous about using alcohol paints 'cause" "I've only used them for injuries." "I've done a lot of things this challenge that I have not done before." "I just hope it pays off in the end." "One hour, everybody." "I want to make sure that I have a graphic look." "That's why I'm going for the whole black-and-white color scheme." "But it's looking really muddy and really gray." "Um..." "I'm starting to look like a blue, vampirey, weird..." "I don't know." "I'm just not liking how it's all coming together." "And I'm trying to do some flicking just to break it up." "I'm looking totally different than what I wanted." "15 minutes, everybody." "All right, that's it." "Time's up!" "I'm really worried because I'm looking vampirey." "I mean, I only have one appliance." "There's really nothing else to distract away from that." "Ugh." "It's making me really, really nervous." "It's game time, baby." "It's game time." "It's Last Looks, and we have one hour to finish our superheroes." "I'm really concerned about finishing the face and not having enough time to finish this character the way I want to." "Wow, I am not good at airbrushing with my left hand." "Are you kidding?" "I really got to punch up some of the highlights just to make sure that I have some sort of, like, graphic look to me." "But I could still end up just looking really muddy." "30 minutes." "I can't even airbrush on myself." "I still have some painting to do and some shading." "But I can't do it on myself." "Do you need it around your eyes?" " Yeah." " I'll do it." "We're all competing to win this thing, but everyone needs each other at this point." "Look up for me." "I'm trying to do modeling, but I can't see." "I know that I've missed some spots." "So I ask Adam to hit it for 15 seconds." "10 minutes, everybody." "That looks awesome, Ben." "Looking at everyone else's character," "I realize I am not a superhero." "This is so stupid." "There's not much I can do." "All right, it's time." "Fuck." "I'm all right, I'm all right, I'm all right." "I've never been this nervous." "I don't think I look like a superhero." "Gosh, I just want this to be over." "Good evening, judges." "How are you doing tonight?" " Great, thank you." " Bitchin'." "Excellent." "And hello as well to our champion coaches." "How are you guys doing?" "Pretty good." "Peachy with a side of keen." "All right, well, tonight's gonna be a lot of fun, obviously." "This week the contestants'" "Spotlight Challenge was to create a superhero using themselves as the alter ego and inspiration for its design." "And not only that, they had to apply the makeup to themselves as well." "And I think it's safe to say that this may be the hardest challenge that we've ever done on this show." "For sure." "All right, are you guys ready to see what they've come up with?" " Oh, yeah." " Absolutely." " Can't wait." " Okay, well, let's take a look." "All right, let's really see what these guys can do." "This is a very different experience coming out onstage." "We have to act, which is a blast." "I'm lovin' doing this." "The makeup alone may not read as a superhero, but the character as a whole," "I think that reads as superhero enough." "This is just a lot of fun." "I knew it was gonna be hard, but I'm just seeing Glenn doing his eyebrow." "He is just so stone-faced while I'm posing, and, like, "Am I doing this right?"" "Yeah, it's nerve-racking." "I have a love-hate relationship with this makeup 'cause I really love the cowl, but I'm not happy with how the face turned out." "I've got this gun in my hands." "I've got these creepy eyes, and I've got this skeleton face." "I definitely feel badass right now." "So I'm onstage." "I'm like, "Okay, I guess I'm a superhero."" "I've never been this nervous in my life." "I make sure to put my cheesy grin on." "And I'm in heaven right now." "This week was such a tough challenge, but you guys did a great job." "Okay, before the judges come to take a closer look," "I do have another huge surprise for you." "Oh, no." "I wanted to have you all out here together before I introduce tonight's very special guest judge." "He's a comic book industry legend who has worked on some of its most popular and iconic titles like Spider-Man and The Incredible Hulk." "He's also one of the founders of Image Comics and created one of the most popular comic book franchises of all time, Spawn." "Please give a big welcome to Todd McFarlane." "Oh, man." "Hey, McKenzie, how are you today?" "Good." "Great to have you here." "Oh, my God." "That's so awesome." "Todd McFarlane was just a huge influence on me when I started drawing as a kid." "It's really cool to have him here." "Now, there is no one more qualified than you to be judging superheroes." "And I know that you were watching backstage." "Yes." "So are you ready to take a closer look at these guys?" "Yes, we will." "All right, judges, you ready to do this?" "This is a very difference experience for closer looks." "I don't know if I'm supposed to act in character or if I'm supposed to freeze and be just a statue." "I don't know." "Hi, Logan." "Hi." "You sure got a lot done this week." "Could you turn sideways so we can see your wings?" "These layers really help sell these instead of just being flat." "Can we get a grit right here?" "Yeah, there we go." "Give us a couple of expressions." "Yeah." "You look like you're kind of digging' this." "Did you have fun this week, Julian?" "Oh, yeah." "Can you give us a furrowed brow?" "That's some nice edges for something that you put on yourself." "I think the ears could have been sculpted much better though." "I'm sorry." "Let's see this mask." "Were you intending on holding this up?" "Is this your mask?" "Yeah." "Okay." "So let's see this." "It wouldn't actually fit my face." "Cool." "Thank you." "Hi, Darla." "Hello." "I'm concerned about the paint." "It's starting to crack." "Let's see a look of victory." "I'm trying to make as little facial expression as possible." "Now give us a look of poison." "I could be in trouble." "Tell us who made your favorite superhero tonight on Twitter using #FaceOff" "I'm worried that if I move around too much, the paint is gonna start to crack." "Now give us a look of poison." "There you go." "I just hope that the rest of the makeup is enough to keep me safe." "All right, Ben, give us that big reveal." "So this is all stuff that you built, right?" "How about some expressions?" "You love that big hair, don't you, girl?" "All right, you got a couple of looks for us, then?" "It's awkward." "I completely blank out." "I'm digging my hole deeper and deeper." "Just made the willow weep, I think." "Good evening." "You've just been waitin' to use that hairdo of yours, haven't you?" "Maybe." "Let's see what these things are." "They're protonic plasma." "It's all very complicated." "You don't want to hear about it." "Thank you." "Okay, the judges have scored your creations, so let's find out what they thought." "Julian," "Darla," "Ben." "Congratulations because you are all safe and can head back to the makeup room." "Shit." "The rest of you were the best and the worst this week." "And the judges would like to speak with each of you to find out more about your work." "Logan, if you'd please step out." "Logan, I can't wait to hear the backstory, but all in your superhero voice, please." "My name is Slayer." "I hail from the time dragons ruled, and I defended them." "Now I defend people." "That's my story." "I'm very impressed with your conceptual designs and your technical work." "It's not something I've seen before." "It encourages us to want to know more about the backstory, and its origin is incredibly impressive." "Thank you very much." "I love this color palette, and it really gives it a lot of life." "And I especially love what you did with your wings." "It really takes your imagination someplace, which is great." "I am very happy with this." "Sculpturally speaking, you've nailed it with the face." "You can see that you're able to emote through it." "Yet you've somehow baked in that expression, and it's really quite accomplished." "Thank you." "You've taken what is traditional garb..." "You've got a mask, you've got a logo, but you put it into a frame now that isn't so obvious." "So I like the whole message that you're bringing across right now." "Thank you very much." "Logan, please step back." "Emily, you're up next." "Well, forest babe, tell us all about yourself." "So I am nature's daughter." "So I heal animals, and I just help bring the good out of people." "I got to say, I love the paint job, but I'm a little tired of the big hairdos." "I don't know what to say, honey." "I'm just very disappointed that you repeated yourself." "Okay, thank you." "This is, for me, not appropriate for this challenge." "You look like a hedge or a topiary." "At this point in the competition, without allowing yourself to evolve, you're going to be doomed." "Emily, thank you very much." "Please step back." "Adam, please step forward." "Tell us about your superhero character." "I am the Crimson Wave." "I stuck my arms in these things." "They didn't come off." "And I decided to throw a mask on, move to Japan, and save the city." "Makes a lot of sense when he says it that way." "Yeah." "You've really done a great job at creating an overall superhero character." "It's good that this is comedic because the proportions are so insane." "If I was 10 years old, 11 years old," "I'd dig you to hell." "Of all the people up there, you were the one that was in character." "And after doing comic books for 25-plus years," "I dig it." "What really counted is you made sure that you hit that one note this week which was superhero." "And so many pieces of your design say that so clearly." "And that's what I love about the makeup." "Thank you." "Adam, you can step back." "Hey." "Good job." "Thanks, Dad." "All right, let's talk to Stephanie." "Talk to us about how you got to what is in front of us right now." "My character is Doll Face, and she is set in a post-apocalyptic world." "And she is trying to protect all the remaining humans that are left on Earth." "One of the things that I would have liked to have seen is that when we asked you to put the mask up, you said it didn't fit." "And that's a bit of a shame to me." "'Cause it would have been kind of cool if you actually had the reveal like Beauty and the Beast, if you will." "For sure." "You have chances to explore demons in other challenges." "So if you would have done that extraordinarily well," "I could have gotten behind it." "But the forms are just... they're too derivative." "The appliance that you have on is very similar to what I put on Kiefer." "Did you ever see the movie The Lost Boys?" "Oh, yeah." "So it's a little bit repetitive and boring for me to see it." "And not only that, I think you did a really poor job painting yourself." "You look like an old lady with red eyes." "Stephanie, thank you." "If you'd please step back." "Okay, thank you, guys." "If you'd please head back to the makeup room while the judges deliberate." "All right, judges, let's start with you favorite looks tonight." "How about Logan's work?" "I love Logan's." "It just looked like he stepped right out of another century." "Yeah, if you can take him 2,000 years back and 2,000 years in the future," "I could still figure out the story that would make him work." "The detailing of the makeup in addition to everything else was pretty incredible." "All right, let's move on to Adam." "Everything about it was successful." "He literalized it by making it a comedian." "And that's what makes it also really good as a superhero." "If I could make an action figure out of any of you, he was the guy that I'd want to bring home to my eight-year-old son." "He enjoyed it so much." "I forgot it was Adam under there." "All right, let's move on to the looks you like the least." "Why don't we start with Emily?" "Marge Simpson is Poison Ivy." "That absolutely absurd hedge of a hairdo." "There was nothing that suggested that she had any strength as a superhero, as a woman." "She was a little bit shy about who she was." "She was still uncomfortable in her skin even with the power." "Okay, let's move on to Stephanie." "The paint job sucked." "That's what really ruined this for me." "'Cause she looks like a, you know, zombie." "It was a brow shape that we've all seen a painful amount of times at this point." "I don't think it was a horrible makeup." "It's just that there was nothing there but gray." "All right, judges, have you made your decisions?" "We have." "Let's bring them back out." "All right, Glenn, tell us about tonight's top looks." "Logan, your character certainly has a superhero vibe, but what we really love is that he also had a mysterious quality which made us want to know more about him." "And Adam, the comedic nature of your superhero suits your personality perfectly." "And your performance gave him extra dimension in life." "All right, so who is the winner of tonight's challenge?" "The winner of tonight's challenge is..." "All right, so who is the winner of tonight's challenge?" "The winner of tonight's challenge is..." "Logan." "Your superhero clicked in every level." "And you did astounding technical work, especially considering you had to apply it on yourself." "Great job tonight, man." "Thank you very much." "This is a cool moment." "Of all the makeups that I've done in the competition so far," "I'm most proud of this one." "This is win number three for me and I'm stoked about it." "Thank to my coach, Rayce." "Thank you." "All right, so Logan, you and Adam along with the coaches can all head backstage." "All right, guys, that means that you are on the bottom this week, and one of you will be going home." "Please step forward." "All right, Glenn, tell us about tonight's bottom looks." "Emily, the makeup part of your character is actually quite beautiful, but there was an overall disconnect with the superhero aspect of the challenge for us." "Stephanie, on another week, this demon-like character could have worked." "But we really didn't feel like we see you in this makeup." "So who is going home tonight?" "The person going home tonight is..." "Stephanie." "Yep." "The paint work was pretty weak, but moreover, we just didn't feel like you were inspired by this challenge, which showed in the finished product." "I'm sorry." "You know what?" "I had a lot of fun in this challenge." "It might not have shown, but I did." "Stephanie, I'm sorry, but you have been eliminated." "That means Emily, you're safe this week and can head back to the makeup room." "Thank you." "Bye, Stephanie." "Stephanie, it's been a privilege to have you with us and show us your talents." "It's in you, we've seen it." "And I'm looking forward to seeing that in the future." "Thank you." "Stephanie, it's really been great having you here with us." "If you'd please head backstage and pack up your kit." "Thank you so much, everyone." "Good luck." "Well, I'm goin' home, and it blows." "I wanted to win." "That's why I came here." "It's me." "Aw." "But I feel really good that I made it to the final seven." "What I like about you is you know what you want to do and you're passionate." "Watching you grow this whole competition has been a privilege." "Thanks." "Even though I didn't make it through all the way," "I think I did awesome." "I really impressed myself." "It's a bittersweet kind of end for me." "Especially, like, me looking like this." "At least I'm goin' out lookin' like a badass."

"[the bar-kays' "too hot to stop" playing] # whoo!" "#" "# whoo!" "# # yeah # # yeah # # hey # # hey # # oh, yeah # # i've been havin' my eyes on you # # for a while #" "# girl, it's somethin' 'bout your act # # and I sure do like your style # # maybe it's the way that you carry yourself # # or maybe it's the way that you wear your hair #" "# you move with the feelin' # # and you sure know how # # girl, i'm out to get your love # # and i'm too hot to stop now #" "# yeah # # yeah # # hey # # hey # # yeah # # yeah # # ow!" "# # ya-hey # # ya-hey # # whoo, whoo yeah-ha #" "# gettin' next to you # # oh, yeah # # is what I want to do # # ooh-ooh-ooh # # yeah, yeah, yeah # # baby # # gettin' next to you # # gettin' next to you # # is what I want to do #" "[cell phone vibrates]" "Yo." "Hey, I was doing some research for next year," "And I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to." "The vag-tastic voyage." "Which one is the vag-tastic voyage?" "The vag-tastic voyage is the one" "Where they find random girls on the street," "And they invite them into a van," "And then they bang them once they're on the van." "It's like 13 bucks a month," "And you get access to a bunch of other sites." "Like one's latina, one's asian, uh, you know," "There's one for fetishes, like feet and pee-pee and shit" "And stuff like that." "That's disgusting." "You're like an animal." "I'm-- what?" "I'm disgusting?" "You're the weird one, man." "Don't make me feel weird 'cause I like porn." "You're weird for not liking porn." "I'm normal as shit." "But peeing on people?" "That's normal?" "Evan," "I'm not saying i'm gonna look at it." "I'm just saying that it comes with the site, okay?" "I don't know what i'm gonna be into 10 years from now." "I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff, you know?" "I mean, like, if i'm paying top dollar," "I want a little production value." "Like some editing, transition, something." "Some music." "Yeah, you know, well, i'm sorry, evan," "That the coen brothers don't direct the porn that I watch." "They're hard to get ahold of, okay?" "Your parents are gonna be looking at the bill, dipshit." "Yeah, you're right." "I probably should pick the one" "With the least dirty-sounding name." "Uh..." "What about, like, perfect ten?" "Something like that, you know?" "Like perfect ten?" "Because that could be any number of things, you know?" "They can't really get you for that." "That could be, like, a bowling website." "Yeah, but they don't really show dick going in," "Which is a huge concern." "I didn't realize that." "Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?" "Not for me." "Hi." "Thanks for taking him, seth." "No-- no problem, jane." "How are you?" "Good." "Beautiful." "[scanning radio stations]" "Don't touch that." "What are you--?" "I'm not" "A piece of meat." "Jane:" "You two are funny." "I can't imagine what you're gonna do" "Without each other next year." "Evan told me you didn't get into dartmouth." "I got into some schools," "Some pretty good ones, so i'll be fine." "You gonna miss each other?" "No." "Miss each other?" "No, thank you." "I don't-- I don't miss each other." "Yeah, i'm gonna cry myself to sleep every night..." "Me too." "...When i'm out partying." "Go to school, boys." "Bye, mom." "Bye, jane." "I am..." "Truly jealous" "You got to suck on those tits when you were a baby." "Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick." "[the bar-kays' "soul finger" playing]" "Evan:" "Hey, seth, wait-- you can't park in the faculty lot." "Seth:" "Don't be such a vagine, man." "I gotta get a red bull before class." "You know, you're being an idiot, man." "You shouldn't have parked there." "Fuck it." "I'm about to graduate." "They should be sucking on my ball sac." "It's the least they could do for stealing three years of my life." "[seth whistles]" "Seth:" "Oh, fuck me." "Evan:" "Look at those nipples." "They're like little baby toes." "Evan:" "It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff," "When I have to hide every erection I get." "You know what I do?" "I flip my boner up into my waistband." "It hides it, and it feels awesome." "I almost blew a load into my bellybutton." "I mean, just imagine if girls weren't weirded out" "By our boners and stuff," "And just, like, wanted to see them." "I mean, you know, that's the world" "I one day wanna live in." "You know, it's been two years since i've seen" "An actual human female nipple." "Shauna?" "Shauna was two years ago now?" "Seth:" "Yeah." "Yeah, I guess so." "But she was insanely hot." "Exactly." "She was too hot, okay?" "That's what sucks." "How can that possibly suck?" "I'd be psyched if I got with her." "You got, like, two dozen handjobs." "And three-quarters of a blowjob, but who's counting, evan?" "Look, it was the peak of my ass-getting career," "And it happened way, way too early." "You're like orson welles." "Exactly!" "If I had paced myself," "I'd be having at least steady sex" "With a decent-looking girl." "I honestly see now why orson welles ate his fat ass to death." "Well, you'll have sex in college." "Everyone does." "Yes, but the point is to be good at sex" "By the time you get to college." "You don't want girls thinking you suck dick at fucking pussy." "I still think you have a chance with jules, man." "And-- and she got incredibly hot over last summer," "And she obviously hasn't realized it yet, 'cause she's still always talking to you" "And flirting with you." "Are you out of your mind?" "Look at jules' dating record, okay?" "She dated dan remick, who's had a six-pack since," "Like, kindergarten." "Jason stone, who looks like fucking zack morris." "And matt muir." "Matt muir, he's the sweetest guy ever." "Have you ever stared into his eyes?" "It was like the first time I heard the beatles." "Why would she end her high-school career with me?" "Becca dated eric rosecrantz for, like, two years." "Yeah, but that guy's a fucking idiot." "You're actually a step up from that dick-load." "That's why you need to stop-- will you get this for me?" "That's why you need to stop being a pussy and nail her." "You could bang her for two months before you leave." "And i'm not gonna dance around it," "She looks like a good fucker." "All right, i'm tired of you talking about her like that." "What, you can talk about her all day, every day," "And the second I say one thing, it's blasphemy?" "Yeah, well, I don't constantly insult her." "I'm not trying to insult her." "I'm just saying that she looks like a good fucker, okay?" "She looks like she could take a dick." "Some women pride themselves on their dick-taking abilities." "Dick-taking abilities?" "Do you think that's a good thing to say about someone?" "The fucked-up thing is, I actually do, okay?" "If some woman tried to compliment me" "On my dick-giving abilities, i'd be psyched." "Hey, yo, seth." "What?" "Hear i'm having a big grad party next Saturday?" "No." "Yeah." "[hawks] [laughter] boy:" "Oh, shit!" "Jesse:" "You're not coming." "Tell your fucking faggot friend" "He can't come either." "[jesse hawking] [laughs]" "So jesse wanted me to tell you" "That you're a fucking faggot and you can't come to his party." "You know, you really bitched out back there, man." "I bitched out?" "You bitched out, man, you fucking judas." "Fucking left me hanging over there." "Did you want me to dive in front of his spit?" "# yo # [whistle blows]" "Come on, guys, let's go!" "[whistle blows]" "[panting] [breathlessly] this is bullshit." "# pussy #" "If I equals the square root of negative one," "Then I squared equals negative one." "Okay?" "In other words, if you consider I as a constant," "You can then define the square roots" "Of all the negative numbers." "So I is an imaginary number." "It doesn't really exist." "If I equals the square root of negative one," "Then I squared equals negative one." "[bell rings] is this making s--?" "Okay." "[indistinct chatter]" "Girl:" "Okay, bye." "Evan!" "Evan, hey." "Hey, becca." "Hey, uh, thank you for your pen." "No problem." "No, no, don't worry." "No worries." "You just keep it." "It'll be yours." "You won't have to borrow one again 'cause you'll have that one." "Thank you so much." "You're welcome." "That's..." "Don't worry about it." "So I was gonna ask you," "Did you hear about jesse's grad party next weekend?" "It should be fun." "I heard." "I, uh-- it's a maybe..." "Really?" "...For me at the moment." "Um, my r.S.V.P.-- Just a maybe?" "So far." "There's so much other fun shit" "That's gonna be happening that night" "That I can't really commit and, you know," "Hurt someone's feelings." "Fun shit?" "But I" " I never see you at parties or anything." "That's because of all the other fun shit i'm off doing." "I'd love to be at all of them, but..." "So why weren't you at dimitri's on Saturday?" "There was so many things going on." "I couldn't find a minute..." "What did you do?" "...To make an appearance there." "Um, Saturday was actually a crazy night for me." "Aaah..." "Agh!" "Evan:" "I had some friends over, and we had a few drinks." "All:" "That's vag-tastic!" "Evan:" "I hung out in my basement," "The chill zone, that's where we chill-lax." "Like "relax" and "chill" all at once." "Aw!" "Oh!" "Seth's parents were throwing a party." "We got to hang around adults," "Which was a nice change of pace, you know." "You-- you converse, you talk to people," "And they have interesting stories." "I talked to a man who claimed" "He had climbed five mountains in his life." "Wow." "And then we went to a nightclub," "Which was incredible." "This big, fancy one." "Gonna look at tits right now!" ""i'm feeling crazy." I said that." "Becca:" "You got in?" "Evan:" "We got right in." "Wanna do this, 'roid monkey?" "Fuck you!" "Then we called it a night." "We were all just really exhausted." "Oh!" "What the fuck?" "!" "You would've loved it." "It was an incredible, unbelievable night." "That sounds like a lot of fun." "You know, I-- i'd love to go do something like that sometime." "Oh, who wouldn't?" "I mean, it was like..." "Me and seth are always kind of cooking up these fun," "Sort of, little, you know, events." "So I guess you guys are really gonna go crazy" "Next year together." "Um, we were going to," "But we got into different schools." "Really?" "That sucks." "Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad." "I mean, it should be okay." "I'm not too worried about it, really." "Don't worry about it." "I'm not worried at all." "All right, well, thank you for the pen." "Yeah." "No problem." "Bye." "Bye." "Bye, evan." "[speaking indistinctly]" "Mrs. Hayworth, I joined this class" "Because i'd be cooking with a partner." "But she's never here, and I don't get" "Twice the grades for doing all the work." "I didn't invent odd numbers, seth." "I know, but look at evan, okay?" "Just look at him." "Hey, don't keep me waiting much longer." "I'm getting impatient up here." "Heh." "You know what i'm talking about." "Miroki, you're embarrassing me." "I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone," "Eating my terrible-tasting food, and I gotta look over at that." "Looks like the most fun i've ever seen in my entire life." "And it's b.S. Excuse my language." "I'm just saying that I wash and dry." "I'm like a single mother." "Look, we all know home ec is a joke, no offense." "It's just, like, everyone takes this class to get an a." "It's bullshit, and i'm sorry." "And i'm not putting down your profession," "But it's just the way I feel." "I don't wanna sit here all by myself" "Cooking this shitty food-- no offense." "And I just think that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu." "When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu?" "Am I gonna be a chef?" "No." "There's three weeks left in school." "Give me a fucking break." "I'm sorry for cursing." "All right, jules' partner isn't here today either." "Pair up with her." "Station four." "Jules?" "All right." "I'll-- i'll give it another shot." "I'll give home ec another shot." "Hey, jules." "Your partner didn't come today?" "That's kind of a personal question." "What?" "Nothing." "It's my attempt at humor." "I was just-- [laughs]" "Oh, like cumming." "[laughs] like "cumming" cumming." "Ahh." "Wow." "That was a little too far right there." "The gesture." "[whines]" "Yeah." "That's pretty far." "Yes." "Shit." "I do that" "No, don't worry." "I'm-- i'm actually, uh, used to it." "My older brother..." "Says, like," "The nastiest shit." "Like, he called me "hymen" until I was 12." "Oh, that's-- that's sick." "I know." "That's not even clever." "[laughs] I know." "You know, I would've gone with something" "At least mildly entertaining." "You know, like-- like, "family jewels."" "Or like "nuts."" "Yeah, that's funny." "[laughing]" "That's a fucking funny joke." "Fucking funny." "[sighs] can't believe that." "Sorry." "We gotta..." "Mix it up." "[jean knight's "do me" playing] # do me, baby # # like you wanna #" "# do me, baby # # if you're gonna #" "# love me, boy # # any way you can #" "# do me # # like a natural man # # like a natural man #" "# this ain't nothin' # # but another thing #" "# oh, what you got, boy?" "# # let me show you what it's gonna bring #" "Yeah, hayworth will notice this," "If we cover it with chocolate." "The whole thing?" "Just dump it on." "I'm serious." "Okay." "[laughs] and now it looks professional." "That's really impressive." "It's beautifully done." "I think we're gonna get an a." "[laughs]" "So, what are you doing tonight?" "Probably nothing." "Why?" "I don't know." "My parents are gone, so i'm having a party." "I don't really know how many people are gonna be there," "But you could stop by if you wanted to." "Yeah, I love parties." "Really?" "I just don't really ever see you at them." "You know, it's a love-hate thing." "So, like, you know, right now, I really love them, though." "Yeah." "Good shit, right, miroki?" "Mm-hm." "Yeah." "Hey, miroki, could we have a minute alone?" "Just-- thanks." "Dude, jules is having a fucking party." "Fogell:" "Hey!" "Don't tell fogell about the party." "Gangsters." "What's up, guys?" "I was just walking down the hall," "And that nicola was right in front of me." "And she was wearing these tight white pants" "With this black g-string," "And you could see right through the pants, man." "It was so sweet." "Uh, it's 10:33." "[stammers]" "What?" "I told her what time it was." "That's the coolest fucking story" "I've ever heard in my entire life." "Insane." "Can I hear it again?" "Do you have time?" "Yeah, yeah, seth." "I'll really gonna miss" "Your knee-slappers when me and evan are at dartmouth." "While you guys are at dartmouth, i'll be over at state" "Where the girls are half as smart" "And thus twice as likely to fellash me." "What are you guys doing tonight?" "Asshole." "We got nothing." "Nothing tonight, fogell." "No?" "Well if nothing comes up, we can get shitfaced again." "You're always calling me a pussy and whatnot," "But today you're wrong." "At lunch, i'm going to the same place mike snider went" "To pick up my brand-new fake id." "Chicka-chicka, yeah, fake id, fake id." "I'm tight." "That's insane." "Evan was like, "I heard about this party." "We shouldn't tell fogell." I was like, "no, tell fogell."" "You could buy us booze now." "It's awesome." "Yeah, i'll-- sure, i'll buy the booze." "Yeah, man, we're gonna get our drinks on." "We're gonna party and get crunk and rock out, dude." "Hayworth:" "If you're not in this class, leave this class." "Fogell!" "Hi!" "Okay." "I'm-- gotta go." "Evan:" "Well done, man." "Seriously." "See you after class." "Did you tell that idiot you're not rooming with him?" "Not yet." "No." "All right, well, you better." "That guy's the fucking anti-poon." "Seth, it's dishes time." "What's the holdup?" "We're getting a fake id, so..." "It's not like a big deal." "Wow." "That's cool." "But you guys have, like, four more years to go." "[laughs] so you wanna get to work?" "Well, we got into different schools," "So..." "So" "So you're cutting the cord?" "What's gonna happen?" "Nothing." "Jesus." "What does everybody" "Think is gonna happen?" "The world's gonna explode if we don't spend" "Every second together?" "We're not dependent on each other." "You know?" "It's like, we met when we were 8." "We were fine before then." "I was." "I mean" "We don't do everything together." "No." "All right, I gotta take a piss." "My dick's not gonna shake itself." "Come on, babe." "Oh, like-- [chuckles] he's a crackup." "I'm just gonna go over." "Well, at least we're getting a graduation party." "Thank god, man." "Oh, i'm excited." "Mm-hm." "I would do terrible, disgusting things" "To hook up with jules." "Unforgivable things." "I hear you, man." "I'd give my middle nut to date becca." "Becca's a bitch." "You know what?" "I'm seriously getting fucking sick of you" "Talking about her like that, frankly, if we can be honest." "Me too." "Like, why do you hate her so much?" "You've never given me a reason." "I think you like her." "Fuck no, man!" "I hate becca." "Why, man?" "Fine, evan." "Here it comes." "When I was a little kid," "I kind of had this problem." "And it's not even that big of a deal." "Something like 8 percent of kids do it, but whatever." "It's..." "For some reason, I don't know why," "I would just kind of..." "Sit around all day..." "And draw pictures of dicks." "What?" "Draw pictures of dicks." "Dicks?" "Like a man dick?" "Yeah." "Like a man dick." "[#]" "I'd just sit there for hours on end, drawing dicks." "I don't know what it was." "I couldn't touch the pen to a piece of paper" "Without drawing the shape of a penis." "Evan:" "That's fucked." "Seth:" "It's really fucked up." "Here I am, this little kid," "And I can't stop drawing dicks" "To save my own life." "All right." "I mean, I don't see what this has to do with becca." "Just listen." "Okay?" "Your precious little becca" "Sat next to me for all of fourth grade." "And in the classroom is where I did the majority" "Of my illustrations." "I was very secretive about this whole dick operation" "I had going on." "Even I thought I was fucking crazy." "Imagine what everyone else would think." "So I would stash all of my dick drawings" "In this ghostbusters lunchbox that I had." "So one day i'm finishing up" "This real big, veiny, triumphant bastard." "All of a sudden..." "Pussy." "You hit becca's foot with your dick?" "Yeah." "I know." "[#]" "Agh!" "Oh, my god!" "Seth:" "She starts crying." "She flips out." "And she rats me out to the principal." "He finds this ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest," "And he fucking flips out." "He calls in my parents." "Turns out this principal" "Is some religious fanatic," "And he thinks i'm possessed by some dick devil." "My parents make me see a therapist," "And he's asking me all these dick questions." "They made me stop eating foods that were shaped like dicks." "No hot dogs, no popsicles." "Know how many foods are shaped like dicks?" "The best kinds." "Yeah." "Well, I don't" " I-- that's really messed up." "Super gay." "Right, let's stop this madness." "Let's just go get dessert." "No, I can't." "I gotta go meet my counselor." "I'm picking out my classes for next year." "I gotta sit here and eat dessert alone," "Like i'm fucking steven glanzberg?" "I gue-- yeah, I mean, what do you want me to do?" "I don't know." "Nothing." "It's fine." "Just relax, man." "I'll see you later." "That's fine." "I'll be fine." "Hey, pussy." "Fuck off." "Just the one, though." "Just the one." "Not both." "Girl:" "I'll call andy and greg." "Jules:" "Okay." "And i'll bring the '80s dance music." "[all giggle] yeah, yeah." "Seth!" "Hi." "There you are." "We were just talking about you." "Here I am." "That's weird." "Yeah." "So you're coming to my party tonight, right?" "'cause it's, like, fully on." "Yeah, why?" "Should I not come?" "'cause I could think of other shit" "Oh, no." "No." "I" " I want you to come." "I just, um" "You said something earlier about, like, a fake id" "Or something, right?" "Yeah, i'm gonna get one." "For "sho," for "sho."" "I'm getting that for "sho."" "[jules laughs]" "Can you get us booze?" "Yeah." "I can." "I can get you guys alcohol." "Really?" "Seriously?" "Yes, for sure." "Oh, that would be awesome." "Thank you." "Because we're worried about that." "That would be great." "Plus, you know, you scratch our backs," "We'll scratch yours." "Well, jules, the funny thing about my back is," "Is that it's located on my cock." "[laughs] [chuckles]" "So you do want alcohol?" "You want some sort of alcohol, or no?" "You do or you don't?" "You do want alcohol." "Um, y-yeah." "You need some." "Either way." "Well-- either way." "Either way's fine." "This is actually kind of a big favor." "'cause my parents left me like 100 bucks" "To, uh, feed myself for the week." "You know, but the house is full of food," "So I just thought i'd spend it all" "On, you know, extra drinks for the party, so..." "Yeah, that's really nice." "I don't think i've ever done anything that nice." "It's cool?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Thank you." "Awesome." "I mean, seriously, that's really" "That's nice of you." "Thank you." "So should I just, uh, get a shitload of different shit?" "[chuckles] well, you gotta get me" "Some kyle's killer lemonade." "Kyle's killer lemonade." "I-- that's kind of gay, but I can get it for you." "So, um-- killer." "Okay, so then we will see you tonight." "Coach:" "Go to the ball, guys." "Evan." "Get into the game." "Kick it over to me." "Coach:" "Seth!" "Get off the field!" "Dude, get out of here, they're gonna make me run laps again." "Dude, just fucking listen, okay?" "Jules and her stupid fucking friend came up to me," "And they asked me to buy her alcohol." "But not just her, for her whole party." "You know what that means?" "By some divine miracle, we were paired up," "And she actually thought of me." "Thought of me enough to decide I was the guy she would trust" "With the whole fun-ness of her party." "She wants to fuck me." "She wants my dick in or around her mouth." "Did you think that maybe she's using you to get her alcohol?" "She doesn't want your dick." "Yes." "Of course I thought of that." "That's like the first thing that came to my mind." "My older brother always says like the nastiest shit." "Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12." "Seth, I want to blow you." "Man, she didn't say that." "Come on." "All right, she didn't say the second part." "She's got an older brother." "She could have asked him, but she asked me." "She looked me in the eyes and said:" ""seth, mom is making a pubie salad," "And I need some seth's own dressing."" "She's d.T.F. She's down to fuck, man." "P in vagi." "She wants to fuck, man." "Tonight is the night that fucking is" "An actual possibility." "You just sound like an idiot." "You're not gonna be able to sleep with her." "No." "Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay?" "But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk," "And she likes me at least a little, enough to get with me." "At the very least, i'll make out with her." "Two weeks, handjob." "Month, blowjob." "Whatever." "And then I make her my girlfriend." "And i've got, like, two solid months of sex." "By the time college rolls around," "I'll be like the iron chef of pounding vag." "Can we talk about this later?" "What the fuck, evan?" "We're down two points." "Fucking calm down, greg." "It's soccer." "It's soccer." "Fuck you, man." "Hey, why don't you go piss your pants again?" "That was eight years ago, asshole." "People don't forget." "Do you want to hear the best part?" "Becca." "You do the same thing with her." "When you guys are shitfaced at the party, you get with her." "This is our last party as high-school people." "I've fully ignored my hatred for becca" "In coming up with this plan." "I'm flexing nuts." "Just fucking come with me" "On this voyage, and just stop being" "A pussy for once." "And we can fucking fuck some girls already." "I should buy becca alcohol?" "Yeah." "It'll be pimp!" "That way you know she'll be drunk." "You know when you hear a girl saying:" ""ah, I was so shitfaced last night." "I shouldn't have fucked that guy."" "We could be that mistake!" "Have you talked to fogell?" "All right, you talk to becca." "I'll talk to that retard, fogell." "Don't worry." "[whistle blows] coach:" "Seth, get off the field!" "Goal." "You're getting that!" "No, i'm not!" "[indistinct chatter]" "Hey, becca." "Hey." "Hold up." "Oh, hey." "Hey, um..." "Hi, uh, did you--?" "Did you hear about the party tonight?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I just heard." "It sounds awesome." "Yeah." "Ahem." "Yeah, i'm going." "Really?" "Yeah, i'm gonna go to it." "That's actually why I came looking for you." "Me and the guys are gonna go to a liquor store after class." "And I just thought, you know, if..." "You needed someone to get you yours, I" "I could do that." "I could be that person." "Yeah." "Um" "Yeah, no, that would be great." "That would save me such a hassle, 'cause I was gonna beg my sister, but-- oh..." "Could you get me, like, a bottle of goldslick vodka?" "Yeah." "That's the one with the little golden flakes in it?" "Yeah." "The girly one." "That's classy." "Um, okay, well, i'll pay you back at the party, then." "No, no, you won't." "No, it's my treat, miss." "Really?" "Yep, and that's that." "It's the first of many too, so get used to it, sister." "Oh, well, thank you." "Yeah, no problem." "You" "Oh..." "I'm sorry." "That guy walked by" "It was an accident." "It's okay." "I was gonna give you a nudge-- a punch, the friend thing." "I didn't mean" "Gaby:" "Hey, becca." "Oh." "Hey." "Hey." "Gaby." "What's up, evan?" "Hey, gaby." "We should get to class." "Becca:" "We're gonna go to class." "So I will see you tonight." "Okay." "Really, don't worry." "Okay." "Sorry." "Bye." "Sorry." "# bye #" "Sorry." "Heh." "[#]" "Where's that sack of shit, fogell?" "He said he'd be here after lunch." "I'm here with my thumb up my ass." "I did it, dude." "I-- I even offered to pay for it." "It was pimp." "Like-- I feel like a pimp right now." "Like one of those pimps." "Whoa, that is fucking pimp." "That's what I was afraid of." "Why didn't I think of that?" "Shit!" "[bell rings]" "Sh-- we're screwed." "Okay?" "We're screwed." "Okay." "That's what we fucking get for trusting fogell." "He pussied out." "I know he pussied out." "What are you making?" "I'm just drilling holes." "Last two weeks." "Fuck it." "What are we supposed to tell the girls?" "That we couldn't do the one thing we promised," "Because we're dickless incompetents." "We're never gonna bone because of that used tampon, fogell." "How'd he get into dartmouth?" "I don't get it." "He's got shit for brains." "All right, how else can we get alcohol?" "Fogell:" "Yo, guys!" "What's up?" "Evan:" "Where have you been, man?" "You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack." "Let me see it." "Did you pussy out, or what?" "No, no, man." "I got it." "It's flawless." "Check it." "Hawaii?" "Evan:" "All right, that's good." "It's hard to trace, I guess." "Wait, you changed your name to mclovin?" "Yeah." "Mclovin?" "What kind of a stupid name is that, fogell?" "What, are you trying to be an irish rb singer?" "They let you pick any name you want when you get down there." "And you landed on mclovin?" "Yeah, it was between that or mohammad." "Why the fuck would it be between that and mohammad?" "!" "Why not just pick a common name like a normal person?" "Mohammad is the most common name on earth." "Read a fucking book for once." "Have you ever met anyone named mohammad?" "Have you ever met anyone named mclovin?" "No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name." "Fuck you." "Seth:" "Give me that." "All right." "You look like a future pedophile" "In this picture, number one." "Number two, it doesn't even have a first name." "It just says mclovin!" "Evan:" "What?" "One name?" "One name?" "Wha--?" "Who are you, seal?" "Seth:" "Fogell," "This id says you're 25 years old." "Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?" "Seth, seth, seth." "Listen up, ass-face." "Every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store" "With their fake ids, and every single one says they're 21." "How many 21-year-olds you think there are in this town?" "It's called fucking strategy." "Let's stay calm, okay?" "Let's not lose our heads." "I-it's a fine id." "It'll-- it's gonna work." "It's passable, okay?" "This isn't terrible." "I mean, it's up to you, fogell." "This guy's gonna think, "here's a kid with a fake id,"" "Or "here's mclovin, the 25-year-old" "Hawaiian organ donor."" "Okay?" "So what's it gonna be?" "I am mclovin." "Yeah." "No, you're not." "No one's mclovin." "Mclovin's never existed, 'cause that's a made-up, dumb," "Fucking fairy-tale name, you fuck!" "Jeez, man." "It'll work." "Give it a chance." "Did you move my--?" "Where is my car?" "Oh, my god, man." "Ugh." "Didn't I tell you?" "What did I say to you?" "I told you not to park here." "Why would you park in the staff parking lot?" "Shut the fuck up, fogell." "I mean, 'cause you're not staff." "I know that, fagell!" "I know that!" "Evan, let's go to your house." "Wait, are you guys still picking me up from work?" "Can you answer me?" "[#]" "Seth:" "Man, don't you have any non-infant clothes?" "It'll be fine." "Yeah." "Why don't you just wear what you wore to school?" "No, I can't do that." "I can't let jules see me in what I wore to school." "It's completely unbecoming." "No one's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since nam." "Know why I have to kill these guys?" "'cause you don't negotiate with terrorists." "Oh, really?" "Terrorism." "That's what we should be talking about right now." "Then why don't you go and get some of your own clothes?" "That's the dumbest thing ever." "If I go home, my parents will see that my car's been towed," "And i'll be grounded." "These fucking terrorists multiply like bunnies." "Where did I leave the m16?" "Do you have any bigger clothes, or do you only shop at babygap?" "Fuck me!" "I can't" "That's fun." "Why do they make that?" "If you can't even..." "Win," "Then why am I fucking playing?" "Do you wanna go see what my dad has?" "[rick james' "bustin' out" playing] # sing # # bustin' out #" "# I don't thank you, girl # # bustin' out # # we're bustin' out of this # # l7 square # # freaks like you and I could never funk from there # # we're bustin' out everybody come along #" "# we're gonna dance on the funk # [mouths] what the fuck?" "# we're bustin' out on the funk #" "What the hell is that?" "It's a fucking vest, dumbass." "I'm trying to look older." "You look like pinocchio." "No, it's just a vest." "They got a lot of booze in there." "If we get it now, we can get" "To the party faster with all jules' shit." "No way, man." "I work there." "They know i'm not 25." "Nobody said anything about you, dick-mouth." "You really fucked me on this one." "So now..." "I'm gonna steal the booze." "Don't-- don't do this." "I promise you i'll get the liquor later." "Mike snider's id always works." "So will mine, man." "Mike snider's id doesn't have one fucking name on it!" "Okay?" "I thought you dartmouth guys" "Would be smart enough to understand that." "[scoffs]" "Now seth's gotta pick up all the pieces." "He won't do it." "Don't worry." "Oh, oh, I forgot to tell you, uh," "My mom said we can have the tv from the basement" "Shut the fuck up, man, he's gonna hear you." "Just be quiet." "Wait until he goes away." "You still haven't told him that we're rooming together?" "Fogell, shut the fuck up." "All right?" "And take off your vest." "You look like aladdin." "Okay." "You got it." "[muzak playing over speakers]" "Hope piggy can run." "How old are you?" "Twenty-two." "You certainly are." "That'll be $80." "Oh." "Okay." "Cha." "Thank you kindly." "Will that do?" "Certainly will." "Thank you, seth." "Hey, thank you." "Seth:" "Oh." "You dropped your purse, ma'am." "Would you like some help with your groceries?" "Well, that would be lovely, young man." "Would you like me to buy you alcohol?" "That would be lovely." "Enjoy your remaining years." "I will." "Enjoy fucking jules." "I will." "Man:" "Don't do it, kid." "I never had a choice." "[#] [yells]" "You fucking killed her!" "No!" "[gasping]" "Fogell:" "Where's all the stolen liquor, danny ocean?" "Did you hide it up your butt?" "Piss off!" "I was gonna do it, but there was a security breach." "You never would've done it." "Let's go to a liquor store" "And watch your stupid id get rejected." "Wait, i'm gonna go put my vest back in my locker." "# gotta keep your eye on the passersby # # better watch your step # # 'cause you never know where the knife will go # # and they ain't missed yet # # the strong survive and they stay alive #" "# and they're always cool # # but that they never teach you in school # # are you man enough?" "# # big and bad enough?" "# # are you gonna let 'em shoot you down?" "# are you man enough?" "#" "Evan:" "All right." "Here we are." "This is it." "You ready?" "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Here's the money and the list." "Change is yours." "Keep the change." "Thank you." "Uh, what's the list for?" "The alcohol." "We're gonna get alcohol for the whole party, okay?" "We put a lot of time into this list," "So don't fuck it up and get sambuca again." "It's perfect." "Ouzo, bourbon, spiced rum, goldslick..." "Goldslick vodka." "That's for becca." "Don't forget that, okay?" "Raspberry vodka, scotch..." "Oh, and kyle's killer lemonade." "A six-pack." "This is a lot of stuff, man." "I don't know if I can get away with all this." "What difference does it make how much it is?" "I don't know, man." "I'm, like, really nervous." "[muttering] are you okay?" "No, man." "I should've wore the vest." "Calm down." "No, no." "What the fuck are you doing?" "What if-- what if I go in and they turn me down, man?" "Then we're in the same exact place we're in now." "Who cares?" "It's fucking humiliating!" "Everybody in the store sees them kicking me out." "What if they make me put the liquor back?" "I can't do that." "Evan:" "Oh, my god." "This whole thing is bigger than you, fogell!" "So grow a pair of nuts," "And fucking walk in there and buy the alcohol!" "What if I don't feel like it anymore, seth, what?" "Then i'll fucking kill you, okay?" "I'll get a knife and stab you through your fucking heart." "No, you can do this." "Come on." "Killing me won't get you alcohol, jerk-off." "I'm the one with the fake id." "Then i'll cut your dumb fucking face off," "Throw it over mine, and get your id" "And buy it my fucking self!" "Oh, really?" "You don't have the technology or the steady hands" "To pull off a procedure like that, so ha!" "Peace." "Fogell, just be cool, man." "Get in and get out." "You're the hero." "Sorry." "[#] [inaudible dialogue] [heart beating]" "Is there a problem here, sir?" "Mm-mm." "No, mm-mm." "No problem whatsoever." "Sir, did you do this?" "On the floor?" "No." "And you should really clean this up." "Someone could really hurt themselves." "Fuck my life." "We're so fucked." "We're so fucked." "This plan's been fucked since jump street, man." "Okay, just calm down." "Just calm down, all right?" "Hey, so did you bring a condom?" "For tonight?" "You brought a condom with you?" "Yeah." "I figured I might as well, you know?" "I brought a little bottle of spermicidal lube too." "But you laughed in my face" "When I said i'd be having sex tonight." "Yeah, that doesn't mean you shouldn't always be prepared." "You didn't even bring a condom?" "No." "No, evan, that wasn't part of the plan." "I can't believe you did this without consulting with me." "Plan?" "We've never discussed, like, any plan," "But you keep saying we have a plan." "I had, like, a general outline." "You know?" "I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay?" "She would love that." "She'd be smitten by that." "She'd go out with that." "Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg." "Okay, well, I just-- I don't see the harm" "In bringing one little condom." "And one little bottle of spermicidal lube?" "Yeah, one little bottle of spermicidal lube." "Evan, that's psycho shit, man." "No, it's not." "That's like charles manson shit." "What, do you think becca's gonna be psyched" "That you brought lube?" ""oh, evan." "Thank you for bringing" ""that lube for my pussy." ""I never would've been able to handle" ""your fucking four-inch dick" "Inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube."" "Okay, that's-- that's enough." "Fuck." "These girls are 18 years old, they're not dried-up old ladies." "They're good to go." "Then I won't bring the lube." "Don't make me feel like that." "Thought it was cool." "This is a nice kind." "Let me see that for a second." "An impressive kind." "Actually is kind of cool." "That's cool." "Fucking dumbass." "Lube?" "Oh, that's fine." "You bought lube?" "So you owe me 6 bucks." "I'm not walking over there to get it." "And it exploded." "Hello..." "Mindy." "[whistling]" "[clears throat] [register beeping]" "Heh." "I love that stuff." "Been drinking it for years." "You know, I heard they recently decided to add more hops to it." "Um, okay." "I'm gonna need to see some identification." "Really?" "Makes me feel young again." "Heh." "There you go." "Ah, shit, it's cary hutchins." "She had the biggest tits i've ever seen." "Evan:" "Yeah, I heard she got breast-reduction surgery." "What?" "Making your tits smaller?" "That's like slapping god across the face" "For giving you a gorgeous gift." "She had back problems, man." "And it's not just making them smaller." "They completely reshape them." "They make 'em more supple and symmetrical." "I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks." "Let's make a move." "She's going around the corner." "Come on." "Okay." "Your total is 96.59." "[door opens] [grunts] [screaming]" "I don't believe it!" "Are you okay, mister?" "Ow!" "What the shit was that?" "[screaming]" "Mindy:" "I don't believe it." "I don't believe it!" "I don't believe it." "I don't know, man." "I think she looked better before." "But now that she can jog comfortably," "She's in the best shape she's ever been" "[#]" "What is this?" "What's that?" "Oh, man." "Holy shit, they busted fogell." "Seth:" "How did this happen, evan?" "Fuck, man!" "His dad's gonna fucking kill him." "Mindy:" "Look, okay?" "He assaulted the customer, grabbed the cash and ran out." "So..." "How--?" "How--?" "How--?" "How--?" "Say when, height-wise." "I'm gonna start up here, tell me when." "I'll start on the bottom and" "Whatever 5'10" is, he was 5'10"." "Ethnically, I mean, did" "What--?" "Uh..." "I mean, wa-- was he--?" "Was he like u-us, or--?" "A woman?" "Female?" "No." "Is that what you're asking?" "No, no." "Was he--?" "Like, uh..." "What?" "What?" "African?" "Af-- af" "Was he african?" "African." "No." "He was american, and he was like you." "He looked just like you." "He was jewish." "Okay, jew." "It's an odd crime for a jew." "Yeah, they're pretty docile." "Okay, so we have an african jew wearing a hoodie." "No." "You don't." "No." "No." "That's not what I said." "Is that what you heard me say?" "I said, he looked like you." "Do you look like an african jew?" "No, I look like a cop." "Yeah." "[sighs]" "He was caucasian." "Caucasian." "Oh." "All right." "Okay." "Well, touché." "Kind of looked like eminem." "Oh." "Does that help you?" "An mm." "Eminem-menem." "So he was circular" "Marshall mathers." "Eminem?" "The rapper." "Eminem." "Did he look like this?" "I'm an amateur." "I kind of-- 'cause that kind of looks like an mm." "Michaels:" "Longer face, bigger nose?" "Would you say his mouth was wider..." "Open?" "A gap?" "Is there another squad car that's in the area," "That could probably be of further assistance?" "No." "I don't seem to be getting any." "Okay, so just walk me through again" "What this guy did." "He-- he-- he-- he came in," "He was wielding a..." "He was wielding something." "He hits the small gentleman in" "In the slacks." "And then he jumps over you," "He feels you up, violates you." "I did not say that." "No, he doesn't." "Look, I can't do this." "I told you already, I have an exam tomorrow." "Can you understand that?" "I have a goddamn veterinary exam!" "[whimpers]" "Goddamn it." "This is bullshit." "This is some bullshit." "I got an exam tomorrow." "Forget this." "Well, apparently someone has an exam." "Michaels:" "How'd you know?" "You." "You're the one" "That got punched?" "Yeah." "Okay." "First things first." "What is your name?" "Uh..." "My name?" "It's m-- mclov-- mclovin." "Mclovin?" "Yeah." "Mm-hm." "Now, what's your first name?" "What?" "Your first name?" "My first name?" "Te-- technically, I don't have a first name," "So-- so don't worry about my first name." "But we're the police." "Slater:" "We just wanna get the story straight." "Come on." "Fuck, man." "Come on!" "He must be so afraid." "I don't believe this bullshit." "I can't believe this is happening!" "I didn't know you could get arrested for this shit." "We need that liquor." "Are they gonna, like, take him downtown?" "Fuck fogell." "He got arrested, okay?" "We're on our own." "We need a new way to get liq" "Aw, fuck!" "The money, man!" "Fuck!" "H-how much money can you get?" "Why are you talking about money, man?" "What about fogell?" "Wha--?" "That doesn't matter anymore." "I lost a hundred dollars of jules' money." "What are we gonna do, bust him out of jail?" "Bake him a cake with a fucking file in it?" "!" "Fuck fogell." "We need a new way to get liquor," "Which is fucking impossible 'cause we don't have money." "All right, you just need to calm down." "We need to think for a second." "We just need to think this out." "Fuck thinking, we need to act!" "[tires screeching]" "Whoa, seth!" "What the fuck happened?" "Just-- just get up." "Slowly." "You all right?" "You okay?" "Ah!" "I am so sorry, man." "I am so sorry." "I didn't even effing see you at all, man." "Are you okay?" "So it's just mclovin?" "Yeah." "Mm-hm." "That's badass." "That is badass." "Michaels:" "Really cool." "Lot of people with weird names nowadays." "Chingy." "Shakira." "Rafe." "Pax." "We arrested a man-lady who was legally named "fuck."" "Think he was vietnamese, it was with a p-h." "But it's still pretty shocking to see on a license." "Okay, and, uh," "How old are you, mclovin?" "Old enough." "Old enough for what?" "To party." "Can I see your id?" "Yeah, I think I have it." "[#]" "[inaudible dialogue]" "You're an organ donor." "[chuckling]" "Wha--?" "What?" "I didn't want to be one, but my wife insisted." "I always give him shit for it too." "All the time." "I say, "it's just like a woman." "Even after you're dead they wanna tear your heart out."" "They wanna tear your..." "I say it weekly, and it's still funny." "It still makes me laugh." "Really funny." "There you go." "I'm s-- i'm sorry, guys." "I don't" "I don't really have any information." "He just hit me, and I didn't really see" "What he looked like." "I don't know if I can help you." "You in a hurry or something?" "Yeah." "Kinda had to catch that bus." "Where were you headed?" "Uh, near 13th and granville." "We can take you there." "Yeah." "Get your information on the way." "Why waste 2 bucks?" "Yeah." "We'll take you." "No problem." "Please, please don't report me, man." "We can figure this out." "We can figure this out." "Why the fuck wouldn't I report you?" "You just hit me with your car." "[sighs]" "Because i'll do anything." "Please, okay?" "Anything." "Like literally..." "Fucking anything." "Name anything." "Name it." "Name it." "[sighs]" "All right, look." "All right, man." "All right." "Listen, you can trust me, okay?" "I'm gonna be totally honest with you." "I have a warrant out for a totally nonviolent crime." "Okay?" "There." "Mercy street, guys." "Well, i'll be honest with you for a second." "Okay." "You better get us a shitload of cash" "Or a shitload of alcohol," "Or you're going to fucking prison." "What are you doing, man?" "That's-- you don't need to" "No, let's not-- let's hang on a second here." "Cough it up." "Fine." "I don't know if we should be doing anything" "Too official." "Let's work together." "We're working together." "It's like let's make a deal." "Seven bucks?" "Are you fucking serious?" "This isn't enough for anything." "What are you, a 6 year old?" "It's all I have, man." "It's all I have." "Well, you better think of something quickly." "[shouting] ow!" "My back!" "No, no, no, no." "Cops, my back." "Wait, wait, wait." "Don't do that." "All right, listen." "I can get you alcohol." "I'm going over to this party right now, bro, okay?" "It's got booze, it's got girls." "Booze and girls equals..." "I don't know." "Do you?" "I don't know." "Do you?" "I think you do." "Do you?" "Yes." "That's a definite yes." "Definite yes, then." "Just give me one sec to talk to him." "Stay right here." "Yeah, yeah, do what you gotta do." "Stay right here." "I'll be over by the car." "It's cool." "Just talk it out." "Hey." "I'm a nice guy." "Come on." "It's great." "What are you thinking, man?" "What are you doing?" "What?" "I lost jules' money." "Fogell's dead to us now." "We don't have any other choices." "Let's go." "I don't like this idea at all." "This guy's fucking creepy, man." "Look at him." "What?" "He looks like a guy." "That's what guys look like." "What is your problem?" "You guys know a guy named jimmy?" "You totally look like his brother." "You totally look like his brother, man." "You do." "You promised becca you'd get her alcohol." "If you don't, she's gonna have a shitty night." "That's all i'm saying." "Come on." "[#]" "We, uh, bingo bango, ready to go-go." "Michaels:" "Good luck on your exam tomorrow." "Slater:" "Good luck on your exam." "You don't wanna ride the bus." "Buses smell like piss, generally." "You know why?" "Fogell:" "Why?" "People piss on 'em." "[cops laugh]" "You know, uh, ahem..." "One of you bros" "Could've come up and sat up with me." "We're fine back here." "Back's fine." "Safe in the back seat." "[cell phone vibrating]" "Oh." "Oh, my god!" "Man:" "What's up?" "Hey, jules." "Who is it?" "Who's on the phone?" "Seth." "Hey, where are you?" "I'm-- i'm in a cab right now, on the way to a liquor store." "Oh, yeah, good." "I can't wait for you to get here." "Well, I hope your friends are ready to get fucked up." "I'm sure they will be." "Okay, i'll see you soon." "Peace." "Oh, man!" "Dude, this is crazy." "She called, she said," ""I can't wait for you to get there."" "Man:" "That sounds like she fully wants it, man!" "Oh, yeah!" "Who's gonna give it to her, huh, my man?" "You." "That's who." "[chuckling] man." "You guys on myspace, or...?" "[the remains' "why do I cry?" playing over speakers] [humming]" "# I would lose all my blues if you promise... #" "Um, officers?" "Cops:" "Mm?" "I can, uh, answer those questions now if you want me to." "We get the gist of it." "You were buying beer, some guys punched you." "Don't worry about it." "We're not gonna find 'em." "Case closed." "Um, but it was only" "Whoop." "[siren wailing] [tires screeching]" "[siren stops] [both laugh]" "But it was only one guy." "Only one guy?" "Shit." "How am I supposed to find one guy?" "This job really isn't how, you know," "Shows like csi make it out to be." "Mm." "I mean, when I first joined the force, I assumed" "There was semen on everything," "And there was some, like, huge semen database" "That had every bad guy's semen in it." "There isn't." "That doesn't exist." "I often go to sleep and dream of" "Waking up in a world where everything" "Is covered in semen." "I mean, who doesn't?" "It'd be nice." "Like that crime scene today." "Yeah." "If the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face," "We'd have a real good shot at catching him." "No way." "Just punched in the face, no semen." "Yeah, no semen." "Story of my life." "Oh!" "[siren wailing] [tires screeching]" "[siren stops] michaels here, uh," "He's six months in." "[chuckles]" "He's young, but the force is strong with this one." "[as yoda] learning you are, young padawan." "[as yoda] thank you very much." "[cops chuckle] [normal voice] that's yoda." "Michaels:" "Are you familiar with yoda?" "From attack of the clones?" "Woman [over radio]:" "We have a 245 at east 24" "And montgomery, bailey's bar and grill." "Car 98 on it." "See, michaels, you always take a call at a bar because," "Uh, better or worse, you get a beer out of it." "Wow." "Pretty sweet, huh?" "True that." "Amazing thinking." "Hey, mclovin." "We got a situation at bailey's," "So, uh, we'll drop you off after, all right?" "Actually, I kinda have" "To be somewhere-- sweet." "Sit tight." "Set course" "For bailey's bar and grill," "Warp 10." "Engage." "[siren wailing] [cops chuckle]" "Yeah." "Welcome to the thunderdome." "[sighs]" "Evan:" "Hey, man, are you sure it's cool that we're here with you?" "Oh, definitely, man." "I'm essentially best friends with the guy," "So a bunch of my buds are coming." "Don't worry." "We're gonna rock out with our cocks out." "Just kidding." "We are gonna rock out." "[whispering] just go, just go." "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "[rock music playing over speakers]" "Hello, hello." "Hey, guys." "[indistinct chatter]" "# will I come again now baby?" "# # like a dark... #" "This is something a smart person wouldn't do." "Look, just act cool and act casual, and try and look old." "We'll get the booze and get the fuck out of here, okay?" "Man:" "Hey, dude." "[mouths words] [coughs]" "Hey." "Where the party at?" "Right?" "Man 2:" "You got those shots, bro." "All right." "They're coming, they're coming." "Man 3:" "To mark's party." "Come on, come on!" "[men howling]" "Do it up." "[groans]" "Man 4:" "All right, what am I doing?" "What am I doing?" "Hey, we should just grab one of these buckets and leave." "Are you out of your mind?" "How are we gonna get a fucking bucket out?" "Dude, what the fuck?" "Hey, man." "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" "What are you--?" "What?" "Nothing." "Nothing." "Mark:" "You using my phone?" "What do you think you're doing?" "Hang on." "Nothing." "What's your-- what's your" "What's wrong?" "You weren't" "You weren't invited." "Mark" "Get the fuck out of here." "Come on, mark." "It's cool, man." "You using my fucking phone?" "You calling your fucking friends again?" "You calling your friends." "Your fantastic friends?" "No." "I mean, yes." "But I mean, i'll-- i'll" "Come on, man." "Just relax." "Huh?" "Mark, please." "Huh?" "Huh?" "Get the fuck out of my house." "Mark, man!" "Mark, come on, man!" "Get the fuck out of my house!" "This is my house." "Don't be such a dick, man!" "[indistinct shouting]" "What the fuck?" "Mark!" "You really wanna do this, man?" "You really wanna do this?" "Here we go." "We're really gonna do this?" "[all shouting]" "Man:" "That's right, motherfucker." "Come on, pussy." "Get up, dude." "Oh, shit." "I'm sorry, bro." "I'm sorry, bro." "I'm sorry, bro." "Tiger got out of the cage, man." "All right?" "I'm sorry." "Come on, mark." "Let's just chill." "Everyone just chill out." "Truce, man." "Oh!" "All:" "Oh!" "Man:" "Right in the nads!" "Mark:" "This is for your friends." "Here." "Have another one." "Shit." "Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit." "Oh, my god." "What do we do?" "Fuck that." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Choose one." "We need to slip out the back, man." "Wait, wait." "Come on." "We're here." "Let's just hurry up and do this." "Are you crazy, man?" "You wanna end up like that guy?" "Not me." "I need my nuts, man, for a lot of things." "We need this liquor." "You need it." "I don't need it." "I'm just gonna tell becca how I feel," "And then maybe she'll get with me, okay?" "I'm not gonna get her drunk out of her mind." "Oh, really?" "Then how come you never made a move, you pussy?" "Because I respect her, seth." "I'm not gonna put unfair pressure on her." "Come on." "I don't see a problem." "Let's just do it." "We're leaving, okay?" "You wanna get killed for liquor?" "No, but I would get killed for pussy, no questions asked." "Fuck this, man." "You're just gonna bail on me?" "I'm going." "Fucking bitch." "Slater [over loudspeaker]:" "Move, people." "Thank you." "Oh, I love this place." "[indistinct shouting]" "What the hell is going on in there?" "If the bullets start flying, hit the deck." "Man 1:" "You pissed everywhere, you son of a bitch!" "Man 2:" "Everywhere?" "You didn't see me pissing anywhere." "Hey, sir, I don't know what you're talking about." "Take your nuts out of your shells." "All right, michaels, I got your back." "Why don't you show this rummy how we roll?" "10-4." "Excuse me, sir." "Stop what you are doing at once." "[shouting]" "Blue guys!" "Resisting." "Resisting!" "Whoa!" "Slater!" "Michaels!" "Everybody stay calm!" "[crowd screaming]" "Everybody stay calm." "Get the fuck out of my way!" "Stay calm!" "Fuck!" "Should I shoot him?" "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "No!" "Stop him, mclovin!" "Slater:" "Mclovin, stop him!" "Do it, do it, do it, do it!" "[yelling]" "Ow!" "Please stop it, you fucking bum." "What the fuck?" "!" "[groans]" "Ah!" "Oh..." "Whew." "Mclovin!" "Nice!" "He just came at me." "I took him down." "Slater:" "I'm buying you a beer, mclovin!" "I'm buying you one too." "You guys take note." "That's how you take down a motherfucker." "Slater:" "That's right!" "Mclovin in the fucking house!" "[rock music playing over speakers]" "Hey." "You dance hot." "Thank you." "[cell phone vibrating] [whimpers]" "Oh." "Oh..." "Okay, okay." "Here we go." "Hello?" "[over phone] evan, it's becca." "Oh, becca." "Hi." "[static over phone]" "Hey." "Hello." "Hey." "Becca." "Becca" "Evan, can you hear me?" "Hello?" "Can you--?" "Piece of shit!" "What?" "Guy sells me a piece of shit fucking phone." "Becca?" "It's becca." "I get one bar everywhere I fucking go." "What is he saying?" "Fucking asshole." "I think" "What happened?" "Son-of-a-fucking-bitch company." "What?" "It's rude." "Hello?" "Fuck." "You suck." "Bullshit phone." "Piece of shit." "I swear i'll bitchslap you so fucking hard." "What?" "Bec--?" "[phone beeps]" "# straight up, honey i'm askin' # # most of these niggas think they'd be mackin' # # but they be actin' # # who they attractin' with that line #" "# "what's your name?" "What's your sign?" # # soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind # # and ask you what your interests are # # who you be with?" "# # things to make you smile what numbers to dial # # you gonna be here for a while i'm gonna go call my crew # # you go call your crew # # we can rendezvous at the bar around 2 #" "# I love it when you call me big poppa # # throw your hands in the air if you's a true player #" "# I love it when you call me big poppa # # to the honeys gettin' money playin' niggas like dummies # # yeah, uh # [song fades]" "Thanks." "This is fucking crazy." "Hey!" "Look what fell off the truck!" "[all cheering]" "Man:" "You're full of shit." "Yeah, I know." "[laughing]" "Dude." "Dude." "We're so gonna get fucked up." "[chuckles]" "All right." "Hey." "What is that?" "Uh..." "I don't know." "What?" "That fucking stain on your pants, idiot." "What is that?" "What are you talking about, man?" "Dude." "Is that blood?" "What the fuck is that?" "Are you bleeding?" "I'm not cut or anything." "Why would I be bleeding?" "It's fucking blood, man." "Were--?" "Were you dancing with some chick in there?" "Yeah, so?" "It's blood." "Dude, it's not funny." "It's blood, dude." "But why would I be bleeding?" "Why the fuck would I be bl--?" "Dude, why would there be bl--?" "[man laughing]" "Oh, fuck." "Oh, my god." "[gagging]" "Oh, shit." "I'm gonna fucking throw up." "Someone perioded on my fucking leg?" "Oh, shit." "What the fuck do I do?" "I've never before seen that in my life!" "This is so disgusting." "Yes, it is." "I'm gonna go get bill." "He's gotta check this out." "Oh, fuck, yeah." "No." "Who's bill?" "What the--?" "Don't tell bill!" "Bill has nothing to do with this!" "Hey, calm down." "Calm down." "Let me get a picture of that real quick." "No, you can't have a picture!" "Dude, stop!" "Bill, bill!" "Check it out!" "This kid's got period blood on his slacks." "It's merlot." "That's what you don't get." "Hey, pat!" "This jerk-off's got period blood on his pants!" "Pat:" "God, man, let me see." "Oh, my god, that's a fucking man-gina, man." "Hey, do you need a tampon?" "I could" "Wait, wait." "I have one!" "I have one!" "Yeah, right?" "I don't know." "I gotta wash this merlot off." "Is this the line?" "What does it look like?" "Fuck me, right?" "[rock music playing over speakers]" "Michaels:" ""uh, yeah, i'm mclovin." "I'd like to buy some--"" "All:" "Oh!" "Shit." "Rewind, rewind." "Slater:" "Rewind it." "Yeah!" "So hard." "Do it again." "All:" "Oh!" "Your legs lifted off the ground." "Oh, my god." "That is bona fide badass, man." "Oh, you gotta keep that tape, mclovin." "It-- it is badass." "It really is." "Really?" "Well, don't you guys, like, need it for, like, evidence?" "No." "The only thing that's evidence of" "Is you can take a hit like a champ, man." "Seriously." "Take that." "Oh, uh" "Are there any ladies we'd like to show this tape to?" "No." "You don't wanna meet a chick in a bar, man." "Seriously." "That was a major turning point in my life," "Is when I realized that." "You gotta go to other places." "You gotta go to a spin class, a farmers' market," "Pumpkin patch, given the time of year." "Just somewhere social, non-threatening." "You know, something like that." "Yeah, I met the missis at paintball." "Yeah, I shot her in the neck." "And we just..." "And we just hit it off, you know." "My first wife-- who is a whore, by the way" "Where do you think I met her?" "A bar." "A bar." "[whispers] it was this bar." "It was this bar." "Yeah, it was this bar." "Bought her a binion's," "Complimented her on her tote bag," "And next thing I know, she's..." "Putting her mouth around the tip of my penis." "Uh, don't-- you don't have to tell me that." "Right in there." "She opened up my world, sexually." "On our wedding night, we had, uh, group sex." "I mean, I wasn't involved in it." "But I" " I could hear it through the wall." "I was." "She was amazing." "And then it was exactly 23 months later" "That I found out that she was an actual whore." "We discovered her on the street." "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "Slater:" "She was bad." "Fucking whoring bitch." "But you got a new wife now, so..." "Yeah..." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah!" "And, uh, she is wonderful." "Nice." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You'll meet her." "You know what?" "I bet I know your trick, mclovin." "You play the whole myst" "Woman [over radio]:" "Calling all units." "Armed and dangerous man in the vicinity." "Just turn that off." "Man:" "Send backup!" "There's so much blood" "I bet you play the whole mysterious-guy thing, right?" "Yeah, seriously." "How's it going with the ladies?" "Um..." "Uh..." "It's not the going with the ladies I care about," "Heh, it's the coming." "Heh." "I get it!" "[laughing]" "What is it?" "What is it?" "Like:" "Blaah!" "Like coming." "Oh!" "[all laugh]" "Michaels:" "That's funny." "Oh, my god." "That is really funny." "Whoo!" "Tshh." "All right, uh, looks like we got a call." "We can't pay for these." "10-4." "We'll be right there." "Speedy gonzales, let's go." "We should get some road beers." "Hell, yeah, we should get some road beers." "Can I have 13 beers to go, please?" "Please!" "God, my fucking leg." "[bottles rattling]" "[#]" "Fuck." "[phone beeping] [cell phone ringing] [all giggling]" "Becca:" "I think it's him." "Shh." "Oh, is it him?" "Uh, hello?" "Evan [on phone]:" "Hey, becca." "Hi, I had a bad reception." "So..." "Um..." "About your goldslick..." "Oh, guys, shut up." "Hey, what's going on over there?" "Oh, it's nothing." "It's just" "Um, I was just calling, you know," "To see if you were coming, 'cause I thought maybe you were stuck at," "Like, a nightclub," "Or a cocktail party or something." "Ha." "No, no, I-i'm gonna be there f-for sure." "Full throttle." "Charlie's angels 2." "Becca:" "Awesome." "I can't wait to see you." "Evan?" "Okay, bye." "Man:" "...That was the first time I ever did coke." "Off that bitch's nipple." "That was so" "Man 2:" "Snow white sniff." "Man:" "That was awesome." "That was gorgeous." "Man 3:" "Hey, hey, hey." "You guys, stay in this room, man." "They're gonna kill that guy tonight." "That chick's boyfriend is pissed." "Yeah." "And he's a beast." "I've been praying for a fight." "Literally waking up every morning and praying" "To see a fucking fight." "Man:" "Fucking wacko." "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "Who's that guy?" "Hi." "Who is that guy?" "Who's this guy?" "Pleasure to see you, fellas." "Everyone." "Who are you?" "I'm nobody." "No, no, no." "I know you." "I know you." "He was at that party with me." "The one I was telling you about." "No, no." "Who is it?" "Remember?" "He's jimmy's brother." "The guy." "The singer." "No." "He's the guy" "With the beautiful voice I was telling you about." "The fucking singer, jimmy's brother!" "That's not me, man." "Oh, my god." "Sing for us." "Sing." ""it's not me"?" "You fucking lying?" "No, I don't mean to accuse you guys" "Of being ill-informed, but" "My brother came from scottsdale, arizona to be here tonight." "You're not gonna sing for him?" "Fucking bullshit." "Man:" "Sing." "You're a fucking singer." "You sing and you sing good." "Man:" "Sing it again." "Like a bird." "No, I know, I just-- I want to." "You want a line of cocaine?" "No way, man." "Yeah." "Don't make this weird." "Sing." "Man 2:" "Sing it again." "Man 4:" "Turbo." "[rock music playing over radio] [air hissing]" "Slater:" "Fuck!" "Over?" "Michaels:" "Okay, watch this." "I'll get it right on the nose." "You're gonna fuck it up." "You're gonna fuck it up." "Bugger!" "Under!" "[both laugh]" "I feel hammered." "That doesn't make any sense." "You're a fucking pussy." "Okay, okay." "Great, great." "Okay, mclovin," "See if you can do it." "Kid's gonna nail it." "Come on." "Do it, buddy." "Come on, buddy!" "Bring it." "0.08." "Booya, motherfuckers!" "Man!" "[laughing]" "Slater:" "That's my boy!" "Beginner's luck." "Beginner's luck." "So, what's it like to have guns?" "Mmm." "It is awesome, mclovin." "I mean, it's mindbl-- it's great." "I haven't had one for long, a few months," "But i'll tell you, it's like having two cocks." "Yep." "If one of your cocks could kill someone." "[both laugh]" "Can--?" "Can I hold one?" "Slater:" "What?" "Can I hold one of your guns?" "Yeah, sure." "Fine with me." "[chuckling] why not?" "Everyone should hold a gun at least a couple times." "Oh, yeah, there you go." "[gun cocks]" "Have a blast." ""have a blast."" "That's funny." "I've never held one of these before." "Are they hard to shoot?" "Uh, well, if you're michaels, they are." "What?" "He can't shoot worth dick." "I can shoot." "What are--?" "Wait." "You think I can't shoot worth dick?" "Slater:" "I tell you, you cannot." "I shot that cat last week." "It was already dead, man." "I still shot it." "That cat was dead." "There's only one way to settle this, guys." "Michaels:" "Shoot-off." "Shoot-off." "Shoot-off!" "Slater:" "Shoot-off!" "[all cheering]" "Dude, there's a lot of reasons why I like you." "I mean, you're handsome." "And you're a good friend." "Dude, there he is." "That's the guy." "Hey, mark." "Right there." "Oh, you got a stain too." "We're blood brothers." "Shut the fuck up." "You're in my house." "You answer my questions." "Where were you doing dancing with jacinda?" "Wh" "I don't even dance." "I" " I just" "I don't" " I don't even dance ever, so that's" "I don't even try it." "Then where the hell" "Does this come from, asshole?" "!" "Maybe you and I rubbed up against each other" "At some point in time." "I don't remember." "Maybe it was" "Some sort of ricochet scenario." "I don't know." "How should I know?" "Kick his ass, mark." "Shut the fuck up, scarlett." "Where do you get off" "Dancing with my fianceé?" "# these eyes # # do-do do-do-do # # do-do do-do # # cry every night # # do-do do-do-do # # for you # # do-do do-do # # these arms # # do-do do-do-do # # wa-wa # # they long to hold you #" "# hold you again # # ba-da ba-da-ba # # do-do-do # # the hurting's on me, yeah #" "Talk about the hurting." "# and I will never be free no, no, no, no #" "Woo." "Yeah." "# you gave a promise to me yeah # # and you broke it #" "She broke it." "# you broke it # # lady, you broke it # # do-do, do-do-do # # these eyes # # are crying # # these eyes have seen a lot of love # # but they're never gonna see another one #" "# like I had with you # # ba-da ba-da-ba ba-ba ba-da ba-da-ba # # these eyes # # are crying # yeah." "# these eyes have seen a lot of love # # but they're never gonna see another..." "You # [knocking]" "Yo!" "Fight!" "Move it." "Go, check this out!" "Oh, fuck!" "What the hell is this?" "Hm?" "Hm?" "I don't fucking-- it's detergent." "Yeah, what are you doing with it?" "Fucking blood on my pants." "Whoa." "Get down!" "[screams]" "What the fuck is this all about, man?" "Are you--?" "Well, fuck me." "Fellas." "Ah!" "Oh, shit, i've been tackled by little girls!" "[screaming]" "You die!" "You're next!" "Oh!" "[screams]" "Woman:" "I should fucking kill you," "You motherfucker!" "[screams]" "Hold him, jimmy's brother!" "Hold him!" "What do you mean "hold him"?" "No." "No way." "You humiliated me." "I'm sorry!" "You used my leg as a tampon." "I'm calling the cops." "Evan!" "Come on!" "Move!" "Seth:" "Oh, fuck." "Oh, fuck." "Yeah." "Fifth and paysview." "Hurry." "Mark, I called the cops." "You should hide your gun." "Slater:" "You're a fucking pussy." "Fogell:" "Don't listen to him, officer." "Slater:" "If you make this, we're no longer friends, michaels." "You're a fucking pussy." "Cheating." "You're cheating." "Ah, fuck me." "There you are!" "Suck on my nuts, slater!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Slater:" "All right, that was a lucky shot." "That was a lucky shot." "Wa-bam!" "I rule!" "All right." "I got jizzed on." "All right." "Can I shoot one?" "Here, go nuts." "Go nuts." "Have a good time, babe." "[panting]" "Empty the clip." "Empty the clip on it, man." "[siren blaring] shit!" "The cops!" "The cops!" "Bail, bail, bail!" "Shotgun, shotgun." "Damn it!" "Michaels:" "No." "Shotgun." "[engine revs] [tires squealing]" "Whoooooo!" "[laughing] [yelling]" "What a rush." "What do you guys wanna do?" "Man, let's get drunk." "Let's get more fucked up!" "Slater:" "You're fucking living the dream, michaels." "Michaels:" "Oh, man." "This is gonna be the best night ever." "Woman [on radio]:" "We've got a 257 at fifth and paysview." "Shit." "All units in the area report" "To fifth and paysview." "Car 98, that's you." "Fuck." "Do it." "Shit." "Shit." "Car 98 on it." "You dumb fucking whore." "Hey, did she say we're gonna get" "To, like, shoot somebody or something?" "Michaels:" "Oh, god, I wish." "Nah, it's probably some lame house party." "We'll drop you off after." "That cool?" "Yeah, man." "Let's show these fuckers how we roll!" "[all laughing]" "[coughs] [panting]" "You fucking prick." "What?" "You bailed on me." "I didn't bail on you." "Yeah, you did." "You said you were gonna do something," "And you didn't do it." "That's bailing." "You're the one that dragged me to that fucking party" "With those lunatics, man." "I didn't bail on you." "You bailed on me, okay?" "You bailed on me this morning when jesse spat on me," "And you're bailing on me next year." "Fuck--?" "It finally comes out." "That's good, man." "We were supposed to go to college together, evan." "Since we were kids, since elementary school," "That's all we've ever talked about," "Was us going to college together," "And you got into fucking dartmouth." "You're making me feel like i'm a bad guy." "Like-- what am I--?" "I didn't do anything wrong." "I got into a good school." "How the fuck am I supposed to get into dartmouth?" "You knew I couldn't get in." "How fucking selfish are you?" "You had no problem letting fogell take the fall back there," "You don't want me going to a good school." "Fuck, man!" "So, what the fuck do you want?" "I'm not gonna let you slow me down anymore, seth." "What are you saying?" "I've wasted the last three years of my life" "Sitting around talking bullshit with you, man." "Instead of chasing girls and making friends," "I've just sat around wasting all my time with you." "And now i'm going to college a fucking friendless virgin." "Is this about becca?" "This is about some girl, man?" "I like her." "Who gives a fuck?" "She's some fucking girl." "Gonna go out with her for two years?" "What about after?" "Fuck you, man." "You're a piece of shit." "Fuck you!" "And next time you're pissed off about something," "Don't keep it inside for 10 years," "Say it like a fucking man!" "Don't touch me." "Fuck you!" "# these eyes... #" "Slater:" "Hey, mclovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even?" "I don't know." "It's too dark to see." "We got flashlights." "Oh, that's true." "# these arms #" "Bing." "# long to hold you... #" "Michaels:" "Where the fuck are we?" "Hey, slater." "What's that?" "[imitates lightsaber] [as darth vader] slater." "[imitating lightsabers] [laughs] [as emperor palpatine] now, young michaels, you will die." "[imitating lightsabers]" "All right." "Come on, stop it." "What, you can't see?" "You can't see." "I can't see." "Fuck it." "How you like it?" "Hey, fuck off, that hurts." "You stop first." "Not until you stop." "Stop it, asshole." "Hey, you stop." "Seth:" "Fuck you, evan!" "Evan:" "Don't fucking touch me." "[screaming]" "[whimpers]" "Why did you do that?" "You shone a light in my face." "You shone a light in my face." "I'm driving." "We were playing lightsabers." "Excuse me." "[grunts] fogell:" "Oh, my god." "Are you guys gonna make sure he's..." "Okay?" "Go out there and check on him." "Michaels:" "You check." "You go out there." "Fuck that." "You go." "Balls." "Okay." "We'll both go out there and check on him." "I can't believe this is happening again." "What are the odds?" "Is everyone okay?" "Seth:" "Yeah, we're great, thanks." "Hey, hey." "Where's the love?" "H-he's okay." "He's fine." "Stand over next to your friend." "Get over there." "I got 'em." "You got these guys?" "Mm-hm." "Slater:" "You boys doing a bit of drinking tonight?" "No, officer." "Not at all." "Not-- we" "We found those." "Slater:" "I don't believe you." "[cops conversing indistinctly]" "Freeze." "Stand right there." "We're telling the truth." "Slater:" "Keep it going." "Don't be a hero tonight, guys." "Michaels:" "Wrong night for that." "This is your fault." "You've gotta" "Fucking take care of this." "No, look." "I am not fixing your mistakes again, okay?" "Fuck that." "Shit." "Well, I don't want to get shit-canned." "I happen to like this job." "I like this job too." "I get free here, 'cause i'm not taking the fall." "Okay." "Okay." "We're gonna arrest these two little dipshits, okay?" "And we're gonna pin it on them." "Yeah." "Do what you have to do." "Spread your shit!" "Get on the ground!" "Loaded gun, ready to go." "Spread your shit." "Pussies on the pavement, fellas." "Come on!" "Please, don't shoot, sir." ""p-please, don't shoot."" "Just shut up and spread your shit!" "I am the law, okay?" "Now hold hands." "What?" "Why?" "Because you don't want an asshole where your face" "Used to be, "whaling" jennings." "Hold his fucking hand!" "Just fucking hold my hand." "Slater:" "There." "That's not so hard, is it?" "Michaels:" "Here, mclovin, have a cigarette." "Smoke up." "Life's short, you know?" "Suck it in, my friend." "Suck it long and deep." "[coughing]" "Enjoy it." "[sighing] mclovin, mclovin, mclovin, mclovin." "You like officer slater and myself?" "Yeah." "You guys-- you guys are awesome." "Thanks." "We really like you too, mclovin." "So here's what's about to happen." "We're gonna arrest these two guys," "And you're gonna write a witness report" "Saying they leapt in front of our car" "Like madmen, and there was nothing we could do" "To avoid them." "Sound cool?" "Yeah, that's fine." "Good." "Slater:" "That's good." "Pretend he's your little sista." "Your little sista with the... [speaks gibberish]" "[whistles]" "[speaking indistinctly]" "What the fuck?" "[#]" "[muted coughing] [muted] fagell?" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Seth:" "Run!" "Run!" "Wait." "Hold on, I gotta get all the booze." "Seth, wait up!" "Mclovin bailed!" "Chase the kid!" "[panting]" "Stop!" "[cries out] [bum muttering] [screams]" "[panting]" "[gasps]" "That is one fast kid." "Bum:" "I want a ride, you hear me?" "!" "You can't unarrest me!" "[bum yells]" "Slater:" "Mclovin!" "Come on." "Mclovin!" "Slater:" "Mclovin!" "Why?" "!" "Mclovin, come back!" "Kid 1:" "Ow, my hand!" "Monster!" "Kid 2:" "Nicole." "Nicole, get daddy." "Get daddy." "Get daddy!" "[kids shouting]" "Oh, shit." "Get away from my kids!" "[yells]" "You sick sons of bitches!" "[cries out]" "Ow!" "What the fuck?" "!" "[groans]" "Michaels, are you okay?" "It's just beer." "Give me a break." "It's just beer." "Aw, man up." "What happened?" "What, did you lose him?" "[panting] he's a freak." "He's the fastest kid alive." "This is not good." "He's the fastest kid alive." ""fastest kid alive" my ass." "Come on." "What are we gonna do?" "I'll shoot my gun in the air." "[gunshot]" "Give me a fucking warning before you do it." "I'll scare him out of wherever he's hiding." "This isn't gonna do shit." "Shh." "Shh." "Get in the car." "Get in the car." "This is your fault, you piece of-- [gunshot]" "Oh, fuck." "Oh, fuck." "They shot seth." "They fucking shot seth, I know it." "Holy shit." "[footsteps approaching]" "Holy shit." "Holy shit." "[all scream]" "Should I run?" "Yes!" "Fogell:" "Fuck." "Stop!" "Seth:" "Stop the bus!" "Stop it!" "It's stopping." "It's stopping." "Oh, thank god." "Hey, evan, pay for me, please." "Evan:" "That's me and him." "Bum:" "Hey, hey!" "It's you." "Mcmuffin." "You know this guy?" "It's" "Ain't got no cop people to help you keep your booze now, do you?" "Hey!" "Back the fuck up, man!" "Gimme it." "Or i'll beat the shit out of you!" "Give me the booze." "Seth [muted]:" "Hey." "Back the fuck up." "Back the fuck up." "Back the fuck up." "Evan [muted]:" "Please, please, calm down, sir." "[#]" "Evan:" "Gooooldsliiiick!" "Bus driver:" "Get off the bus, or i'm calling the cops." "[tires screech]" "Eat shit, bum." "Oh, shit, guys." "We're three blocks away, man." "We made it." "We made it with the booze and everything." "We made it." "Hold this." "I can't believe you still have the liquor." "It's awesome." "Fogell:" "Yeah, I told you the idea would work." "I fooled those cops." "I'm mclovin." "Whoo!" "I am mclovin." "Whoo!" "Why do you guys have detergent?" "I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes" "With those cops." "Because I fucking rule." "Aw, we are so gonna get laid tonight." "Seth:" "I am." "I'm gonna get laid." "Fogell:" "We're finally gonna get our drinks on." "Chicka-chicka." "Yeah." "I can't believe becca's bottle broke." "I'm sure it'll be fine." "Yeah." "I thought you didn't need it." "You were gonna tell her how you feel." "Good luck getting jules drunk enough to have sex with you." "What's wrong with you guys?" "Nothing." "You two femmes can talk about it next year" "At your little slumber party." "Oh, you told him." "Told me what?" "Yeah." "You're an idiot, fogell." "Well, we gotta tell him now." "No, we" "Well, he knows something's up." "What are you guys talking about?" "Tell me right now." "Seth, me and evan are rooming together next year." "What's the big deal?" ""oh, my god, fogell's rooming with evan."" "Jeez, why don't you go cry about it?" "I didn't tell you because" "Seth:" "'cause you're a backstabber?" "And you lied to your best friend," "And you just don't care anymore?" "I didn't expect this from you, evan." "Not from you." "Give me that booze, fagell." "We never should have had to hide our arrangement." "[the roots' "here I come" playing over speakers] [indistinct rapping] [crowd chattering]" "Seth's here." "Seth, you're here." "Hi." "Everybody, seth has got it." "[all cheering] # the sheriff out front gonna sic the dogs in # # that nigga talkin' 'bout he got warrants # # you better come out with your hands up # # we got you surrounded i'm in the back #" "# changing my outfit he said, "blink" # # we gonna send the hounds in I said, "wait" # # 'cause here I come here I come, here I come # # you boys get ready 'cause here I come #" "# here I come, here I come #" "Gaby:" "Evan." "Gaby, hey." "Where have you been?" "You almost blew it." "What are you talking about?" "Becca." "She's been waiting for you." "She's over there." "She's way smashed." "And she's been yammering about you all night." "Really?" "What was she saying?" "S-she-- she told you that she thinks i'm a good guy?" "[snickers]" "No, no." "She said something more like:" ""I will fully blow him tonight."" "What?" "[laughing] I know." "[laughs]" "Yeah." "Evan:" "But she's totally hammered, and if I get with her" "And i'm not drunk, isn't that, like, unethical?" "Oh." "Not if you're drunk too." "I guess-- uh..." "To seth." "All:" "To seth!" "All right." "Who the fuck is seth?" "I'm seth!" "[all cheer]" "Let's do another one to me." "[all cheer]" "[sighing] oh, boy." "Calm down." "Calm down, man." "Calm down." "She likes you." "She wants to suck on your penis." "It's a good thing." "It's the best..." "Thing." "[sniffs] [softly] just down the hatch." "[whimpers]" "["i'm your boogie man" playing] # late afternoon # # or at midnight it's never too soon # # to wanna take you to wanna hold you #" "# I wanna give me all to you # # and I want you to completely understand # # just where i'm at and where I am... #" "Fogell. 'sup?" "# i'm your boogie man i'm your boogie man # # turn me on # # i'm your boogie man i'm your boogie man # # do what you want # # i'm your boogie man i'm your boogie man #" "# turn me on # # i'm your boogie man i'm your boogie man # # do what you want # # i'm your boogie man... # [groaning] oh." "[gags] # whatever I can # # be it early mornin' # # late afternoon # # or at midnight... # [all cheering] # to please you... # [indistinct chatter]" "[slurring] evan, hey." "Evie, come here." "Can you please help me up?" "I fell down, and these assholes won't help me up." "Shit." "Oh." "Uh, thank you." "I have been waiting for you for, like, ever." "What took you so long?" "Oh, I know, it" "No, I can't even-- oh, do you--?" "Do you have my goldslick?" "Oh, it's such a crazy story, okay?" "I-I" " I swear I was" "It doesn't even matter." "Look." "Look what we-- hm?" "We can just drink this." "Here." "Oh, no." "You could have a drink." "I'm already pretty wasted." "Take a drink!" "Okay, here's to..." "You." "This is to becca." "To becca." "To the respecting-- guys." "Women." "To..." "People respecting women." "Okay." "[chuckling] yeah." "[gulps]" "You're a lightweight." "[whispering] um, hey." "Mm?" "You and me..." "We should go upstairs, 'cause, um-- 'cause I need to tell you something." "Okay?" "[laughing] oh, you could just tell me here, I mean..." "I can't tell you because..." "It's a secret." "For you." "[laughs]" "From me." "All right." "So, come." "Come on." "Bye, guys!" "Bye." "Bye-bye." "Bye." "[all cheer and laugh] [hip-hop music playing over speakers]" "You changed your name to mclovin?" "Wow." "That's so cool." "Thanks." "So, like, what's hawaii like?" "Hm?" "Jules:" "All right." "I am back." "I had to thank the peeps for coming out, you know." "Jules." "[laughs]" "I want you to have a drink with me." "Just drink some of this." "You're gonna love it." "I-- you're tot" " I know" "You're gonna love it." "You know, I-- it's green beer..." "For your information." "You know, i'm actually good..." "Right now." "Thank you." "And, uh, thank you very much" "For bringing everything, again." "Seriously." "It really made the night, so..." "No, that's how I roll." "That's the thing." "It's no problems." "You'll learn that." "[laughs]" "I love talking..." "And conversing with you." "But I can't hear you, though, 'cause the music is so loud." "So..." "Do you wanna go outside and" "And talk more?" "Um... [chuckling] yeah." "Sorry, sure." "You know, why not?" "Let's do it." "I haven't conversed in ages." "Okay." "Ladies" "Ladies first." "Okay." "Thank you very much." "No problem." "Watch your step." "I fell earlier today." "Jules:" "Are you serious?" "Well, I was hit by a car." "It's a long story." "[laughing] oh, shit." "Be careful." "Okay, well..." "So loud." "Mmm." "Don't let the parents hear." "[gasping] you look so pretty." "Are you okay?" "I so flirt with you in math." "Tell me about it." "I-- samesies." "I" "I've wanted to tell you for so long..." "That you're the best..." "Girl." "I know." "[whispers] i've wanted to get with you, like, so..." "Hard." "[laughs nervously]" "Like, so hard." "[becca moans]" "You're the best." "[silly voice] we'll take this sweater off." "I think so." "Just be careful, 'cause it's a meaningful sweater to me." "It's vintage." "Okay." "Bought it at that..." "Vintage market." "Just hurry." "[grunts] and this one." "It's off." "Oh, hey-- wait, careful." "[grunting]" "Aah!" "Oh, shit." "Oh, my..." "Put that there." "Now, lookie, lookie..." "Okay." "Oh, my gosh." "...What I got for you" "Under here." "You are the prettiest girl" "This side of the mississippi." "# I have a little something # # for you under here #" "You look so pretty." "And..." "Look so pretty." "# doo-doo # ...Under there." "Hello." "Heh." "# doo-doo-da-doo for you # # doobie-doo do-doo-doo-doo #" "Whoo!" "Oh, you're-- it's the best." "You're so..." "Unique." "Come here." "Evie, kiss me." "I like you so much." "Come on, mclovin." "I've never been with an older guy before." "Well, it's..." "Way better." "[giggles]" "I know, we made some kick-ass tiramisu earlier." "It was deli-- it looked weird." "But it was delicious." "[gasps] whoa!" "[laughs] what--?" "What's wrong?" "I ju-- um..." "I would prefer if we would just do that at, um..." "At some other..." "Time." "No, there is no other..." "Time." "School is up." "What's wrong with right now?" "Well, I mean, you're" "You're drunk." "[laughs] you're, like, really," "Really-- so?" "You're drunk." "You're drunk, jules." "Yeah, uh, um, i'm actually-- i'm not..." "Drunk at all." "I don't even drink." "So it's" " I mean... [laughs]" "Jules, you drink." "You drink." "Everybody-- you-- you had me get liquor." "So you drink." "It's like..." "Uh, well, yeah, 'cause i'm throwing a party, remember?" "'cause other people drink, and so I just" "You don--?" "You don't wanna..." "You know?" "Not..." "Uh, right now." "You know, not while..." "You're drunk." "But, you know, thank you." "[laughing] no, thank you." "[becca moans]" "Evan." "Evan." "Hm?" "I'm so wet." "Oh, yeah." "Mmm." "Oh, yeah, they said that would happen" "In health..." "When I learned about it." "Yeah." "Yeah." "They taught me about" "Oh!" "Who's down there?" "Yeah, it's your hand." "[panting]" "Ha-ha-ha!" "Oh..." "Thank you." "That's good." "You have such a smooth cock." "Thank you." "You would too, if you were a man." "You got such a smooth..." "Chest." "I am gonna give you..." "The best blow-j ever..." "With my mouth." "Uh-- [muffled] um, why don't we just" "Why don't we just kiss a while, instea--?" "Why don't we just keep kissing-- okay." "For a bit, cause-- instead of-- [laughs]" "How badly do you wanna fuck me?" "Jesus christ." "Heh." "Jesus, fuck." "What?" "Hang on a sec." "One second." "I don't think you wanna do this." "You're really drunk." "No, i'm not." "I-- I am not drunk." "I see that you are." "And I" "I think you are." "I really-- [whispers] I want you inside me." "I want you to be my first." "I want you inside me." "Uh-- so just-- just go with it." "Wha-- what?" "Let it happen." "Oh." "I know, but..." "This is kind of intense." "Um, and I just-- i'm just so drunk" "I can't even, like, process this." "And, um..." "You're really pretty." "And I just think, this isn't how I pictured it." "I don't understand why you have to be" "Such a little bitch about it." "You just call me a bitch?" "Yes." "A scared" "See, I-- like, I think we're not thinking clear" "Ah, holy shit!" "Oh, my god." "Go get gaby!" "I'll go get her." "[groaning] oh, god." "Oh, god." "[vomits]" "Go get gaby, please." "[gasps] [gasping]" "I got a boner." "Heh." "[laughing] good." "Do you have a condom?" "Yes." "And lube." "Heh." "[laughs]" "Seth." "Uh, are--?" "Are you crying?" "No, I just have s-- something in both my eyes." "I don't cry." "Funny." "You look-- you look" "It looks like you're crying." "So wha--?" "It's my last chance, and I fucked it up, and" "Your last chance to do what?" "To make you my girlfriend for the summer." "You're, like, the coolest person" "That's ever talked to me." "I thought we'd both be drunk" "What does me being drunk have anything to do with it?" "Never get with me if you were sober." "Look at you." "Look at me." "Seth." "Come on, you didn't blow it." "I think maybe-- [thud] what the fuck?" "!" "Help me." "Ow!" "Shirley." "I'm sorry." "Michaels:" "Someone forgot to call pest control." "Slater:" "Yep." "Michaels:" "Where you going?" "Party's on." "Where you going?" "Oh, no." "If you're back there, get out." "Everyone, come on!" "We will shoot you." "Michaels:" "Party's over." "Evan?" "Get the hell out of here." "Keep your hands up." "[grunts] [rap music playing over speakers]" "Life's bullshit, miroki." "Ev, wake the fuck up, man." "We gotta go!" "Those fucking cops are here, man." "[knocking on door]" ""oh, no, it's the cops."" "Evan, come on!" "Michaels:" "Get out of here right now." "Get out of here." "She's not interested." "Drop the crantini." "Move it, sister." "See ya, sugar tits." "Slater:" "Guys, come on, move!" "Everybody out." "Michaels:" "Leave the booze and go." "What the fuck, man?" "What the fuck, seth?" "He's my best friend." "Oh, shit!" "Oh, shit." "Come on." "I assume you all have guns and crack." "[#] [grunting] oh." "Oh, my god." "Come on." "Don't stop." "Whoa." "Michaels:" "Okay, everyone..." "Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law." "Get out." "Come on, go." "[indistinct chatter]" "Aah!" "Fuck off, seth!" "[seth grunts] [crowd laughs] boy:" "Get a room." "Seth:" "I'm gonna save you." "I'm gonna save you, evan." "Fuck." "Ow." "Fuck." "Fuck, man." "So heavy." "[the coup's "pork and beef" playing over speakers] # word # # don't trust the police no justice, no peace # # they got me facedown in the middle of the street #" "It's in." "Oh, my god, it's in." "All right, everybody out." "Come on, let's go." "Mclovin!" "Oh!" "[screams]" "What the fuck?" "!" "Officer slater, is that you?" "You ran away from us!" "Why'd you run away from us?" "Michaels, get up here!" "No." "I didn't run away." "What the fuck?" "I didn't run away." "I" "Why would you do that?" "!" "I was just all disoriented" "Were you violating that girl?" "!" "No." "You just violated her with your penis?" "Michaels, look." "Mclovin!" "No, no, no-- no." "[door opens]" "Whoa." "[nicola yelps]" "Holy shit." "Were you just getting laid?" "No." "Well..." "Yeah, I was, but" "Yes." "Yes, he was." "[yells]" "It's not what you think, guys." "I'm not-- sit the fuck down." "You sit the fuck down!" "Whoa." "No." "I thought we were friends," "And then you go running away from me!" "Michaels:" "Contain yourself!" "Slater:" "We're friends!" "Michaels:" "Shut up!" "Calm down." "Calm down, man." "Why?" "What?" "You just cock-blocked mclovin." "[sighs]" "Okay?" "He's our friend." "We don't do that." "We should be guiding his cock, not blocking it." "Just relax, okay?" "Let's make this right." "[puffs on inhaler]" "Wait, what are you--?" "What are you guys doing?" "No, please, I can't-- I can't go to jail." "Please, I can't go to jail." "[sighs]" "No, look..." "We're really sorry, mclovin." "This-- this is-- this has gone on" "This has gone way too far." "What?" "What are you talking about?" "[sighs]" "We know you're not 25, man." "We're not idiots, mclovin." "Yeah." "Well, did you know the whole time?" "Look..." "When we were your age, we hated cops." "When we saw you in the liquor store," "We just" "I guess we saw a bit of ourselves, you know?" "And, um..." "We just wanted to show you" "That, you know, c-cops can have a fun time too." "Yeah." "You know?" "You know, in a way..." "I think we wanted to show ourselves." "Also, i'm" "I'm really sorry that I blocked your cock." "Apology accepted." "Seriously, man." "Michaels:" "Oh..." "Slater:" "That feels good." "Michaels:" "Oh, it feels so good." "I missed you guys." "I just wish we could make it up to you somehow, man." "Well, do you think you can do me a really big favor?" "What is it?" "Anything." "Name it." "Slater:" "Kid's fucking crazy." "Michaels:" "Stay back for your own safety." "Get off me, you fucking cops!" "Get your hands off me!" "Do you know who I am?" "!" "I'm fogell!" "Aah!" "I'm-- the joint can't hold me!" "Holy shit." "Fogell's a badass." "Fogell:" "I am gonna break your glasses, you fucking cop." "You can't hold me!" "Jesse:" "Fucking pigs." "[spits] crowd:" "Oh!" "Oh, shit." "Oh!" "[crowd groans]" "Slater:" "Nice mullet, asshole." "You crazy!" "This kid's crazy." "He's nuts!" "Well, we caught the infamous fogell." "Get your hands-- wait for me, nicola!" "Wait for me on the outside!" "We were gonna go to hawaii." "Man, that's gonna get you so much ass." "Seriously?" "I know what to do about the car." "Sweet." "Seth:" "Fucking go." "Fucking throw up." "Are you carrying me?" "No, i'm saving you from the cops." "You saved me?" "Well, I don't know what you're talking about," "But thanks." "Can I--?" "Should I just walk?" "[grunts] uh, should I walk?" "Yeah, sure." "Okay." "Where do you wanna go?" "[sighs]" "Sleepover at my house?" "You wanna come sleep?" "Okay." "Okay." "Does your mom still have pizza bagels?" "Yeah." "Lots." "Pizza bagels." "[both laugh] [siren wailing]" "[tires screech]" "So by signing this, you are officially saying" "That as we stopped you from being mugged," "A crackhead stole our cruiser and did god knows what with it." "You cool to sign that?" "Of course." "I owe you guys my life." "We owe you, mc" "What's your real name again?" "Fogell." "Ah, fuck that." "We're calling you mclovin." "Mclovin." "[laughs]" "Michaels:" "Let's do this dance, boys!" "[slater yells] [van halen's "panama" playing over speakers] [tires squealing] [all screaming and laughing]" "[tires screech] [all yelling indistinctly]" "Fogell:" "That was crazy!" "[whooping] # panama duh-duh-duh-duh-duh # # panama all right #" "All right, now, guys." "Check this out." "Probably the greatest move in doughnut-spinning history." "You paying attention?" "Behold, the upward-spiraling pigtail." "Michaels:" "Why is it called that?" "I don't know!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "[tires squeal]" "Make the badge proud, slater." "Michaels:" "He's not usually this drunk when he does this," "But I think that could make it more cool." "[laughs]" "Mclovin!" "# panama # [laughs] # panama # [yelling]" "Oh, no." "Fuck." "[screaming]" "Fogell:" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Slater!" "Fogell:" "Officer slater!" "All right." "Fucking crazy." "Let's do this." "Slater:" "Hurry, hurry, let's go." "I'm going, i'm going." "Go, go." "I'm going, i'm going." "[both laugh]" "I'm out." "I'm out." "Here we go, here we go." "Yeah?" "Yeah, okay." "Back up!" "Slater:" "Don't blow yourself up, asshole." "Slater:" "Oh!" "[all laugh]" "Yes." "Slater:" "Oh, my god." "It worked." "It worked!" "Fogell:" "Whoo!" "We won." "We won." "[exhales]" "Can we shoot at it?" "I don't know." "Can you?" "[tittering]" "Break yoself, fool!" "[screaming] [clicking]" "Tight." "Listen." "And then she said she was gonna give me a blow-j." "I can't believe she said that to you." "Man, you have no idea." "What was she thinking?" "You don't even know." "[grunts] [sighs] [soft music playing]" "I gotta tell you." "I gotta tell you something, evan." "What?" "I was in your room, like, three weeks ago," "While you were taking a shit." "And I saw your housing..." "Like, forms." "So I knew you and fogell" "Were gonna live together, you know." "I'm sorry, man, I don't know." "I should've told you." "I don't know why I didn't." "Don't-- no, don't be sorry." "I should be sorry." "I was being a dick." "I was being a big dick to you." "No, I-- uh" "Listen, seth, I want you to know," "I don't wanna live with fogell." "I never wanted to live with him." "I just don't" " I ha" " I" "I'm afraid to live with strangers." "I can't" "I can't do it." "[sighs]" "I know." "I know." "I can't believe you saved me." "You saved me." "Heh." "I can't believe-- I owe you so" "You carried me." "I love you." "I love you, man." "I love you." "I love you." "I'm not..." "Even embarrassed to say it." "I just" "I lo" " I love you." "I'm not embarrassed." "I love you." "I love you." "It's like-- why don't we say that every day?" "Why can't we say it more often?" "I just love you." "I just wanna go" "To the rooftops and scream:" ""I love my best friend, evan."" "We should go up on my roof." "[whispering] for sure." "Like, when you went away for easter, wha" "On your vacation..." "I missed you." "I missed you too." "I want the world to know." "It's-- it's-- it's the most beautiful thing" "In the world." "Boop-boop-boop." "Come here." "Come here, man." "[seth sighs] [whispers] I love you." "I love you." "What the fuck?" "[sighs]" "What up?" "Morning." "Morning." "[clears throat]" "I should get moving." "I should get moving." "I should be getting a move on, for "sho."" "Yeah, you don't have" " I mean, you don't have to, you know." "I don't really have anything..." "Going on." "Uh, you don't have to rush off like that." "You wanna hang out?" "I was, uh, gonna go to the mall." "I have to get, uh, a new comforter..." "For college." "The mall, they would sell that." "Cool." "So, uh..." "Your mom's got huge tits." "What do you think?" "I don't know, man." "Don't ask me." "'cause I-I don't give a shit how pants look." "Yeah." "I need someone's opinion." "Those are too tight." "Heh." "Those are way too tight." "Yeah, but, like" "Way too tight." "You need to upgrade." "Yeah, but-- not enough pants, where" "There should be more pant there." "Yeah, but-- I mean..." "Does it look weird?" "Looks like you're standing funny." "Like, you wouldn't be standing like that." "Like a duck." "Yeah, but i'm doing, like" "I'm doing, uh, college poses." "Like-- I don't know if you are." "You might just be doing..." "Hey, prof..." "Okay." "...That test was, whoo!" "Hey, susan." "You look" "Are you gonna party tonight, or no?" "Yeah, but it's just-- uh, it's, like, I wish" "There were more pants w-wearing." "You know." "Where there aren't" "But when I was wearing your dad's pants last night," "I realized that if I wear pants that are, like," "A little too small, it might encourage me" "To lose a little weight." "And also chicks can kind of see," "Like, you know, the borders and outline of my dick a little." "Yeah, man." "They go nuts for that." "The male camel toe." "Yeah, the camel tail." "It's-- it's right" "I know where it is, where it happens." "Like, right there." "See-- it-- they're so tight that one ball is, like," "Above my dick, even." "Yeah, exactly." "It's like three." "It's like a three thing." "It's like ball, dick, ball." "It's like-- it's like a division sign." "It's like a bunch of people crammed into a van." "Uh, does my ass look weird?" "It makes a lot of stuff look weird." "No." "Those are way too tight." "You're right." "These look stupid." "Let's get the fuck out of here." "Becca:" "I'm really sorry about that." "I can't believe I actually did that." "Did" " I feel bad that i'm making you buy me a new one." "It's seems, like, ridiculous." "No." "I have to." "It's puke." "It's gross." "Oh, my god." "Do alcoholics get hangovers?" "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit." "It's them." "What the fuck do we do, man?" "Don't stop." "I don't know." "Hey." "Hey." "How's it going?" "Hey." "[giggles]" "It's so good to-- how are you feeling?" "I've felt better." "Heh." "But i'll be fine." "How 'bout you?" "I'm okay." "[mumbling]" "D-did you have fun last night?" "Uh..." "You know, I actually don't remember much." "I don't remember anything." "Heh." "So weird." "Nothing." "Becca:" "Um..." "I didn't puke on you, did I?" "Uh, you didn't." "I remember that you" "I avoided it." "It whizzed right by me, and I said," ""stay away from me," you know." "I'm really sorry about everything last night," "And I just..." "Thank you for being such a nice guy about it all." "Oh, that's okay, you know." "At least you don't have a black eye from it." "[chuckles] I mean..." "That looks terrible." "Yeah." "You look great." "You don't look terrible." "It's just, like, a bad bruise." "Everything's great, just from he" "This, just like right there." "Your eye." "Yeah, your eye." "Everything else is great." "But seriously, I" "I acted like a fucking idiot last night." "You don't deserve that." "So..." "I'm sorry." "On the upside," "I think you look cool with a black eye." "I'm just gonna throw that out there." "I don't-- I don't know." "Well, thank you, smart guy." "Thanks." "That's actually, uh, why i'm here." "Because I have to get a ton of cover-up" "For the, uh, grad photo." "Oh, man." "Fuck." "And i'm gonna get jules a new comforter." "Oh, I have to get a comforter too." "For college." "Oh, yeah?" "Evan:" "Yeah," "I just figured I would need one." "So, seth..." "So do you wanna come buy me cover-up or something?" "I mean, you kind of owe me." "Yeah, definitely." "I would love to do that." "I ha" " I had, uh, such bad acne last year" "That I pretty much became, like, an expert on the stuff." "Well, you drove." "E-evan drove me here, though, so..." "Well, so, I-- well, I mean, I have" " I have my dad's car." "So I could just..." "Give you a lift," "And then evan could take becca home." "Okay." "If that works." "I don't know if it's in your route." "That would be fine with me." "Fine, yeah." "Do-- maybe we can get some food." "Yeah, i'd like that." "So I guess i'll call you, then." "Yeah." "Give me a call." "Yeah, you have my number." "I have your information." "So, uh, put her there." "Perfect." "So, uh..." "Good." "Uh, all right, man." "Okay." "Okay, guys." "Becca." "Evan:" "Bye, guys." "Bye, have fun." "See you, jules." "Yeah, that's funny." "Too funny." "Becca:" "Where do you wanna go to eat?" "Jules:" "So can you honestly help me figure out" "What kind of cover-up to get?" "'cause, I mean, I don't know" "If I should get, like, an oil-based kind... [curtis mayfield's "p.S. I love you" playing]" "# I guess i'll always feel the same # # love is strange # # oh, p.S. I love you, baby #" "# I wouldn't have it any other way # # as long as there's been a night and day # # it's been you and your crazy ways # # together, baby how can we lose?" "# # always been to me, baby # # a long-time friend # # and I need you to find it # # rediscover #" "[lyle workman's "super what?" playing]" "Oh, welcome to the party, baby." "Let me get my freak on." "Yeah." "Are you ready?" "Hit me now." "Oh, stroke that funk, mclovin." "Oh, stroke that funk." "Yeah." "Mclovin in the house." "Burnin' up." "Come on." "[moans]" "What you drawing, baby?" "Don't let the teacher see you." "[laughs]" "I need some mclovin." "Yeah, baby." "Stroke that funk, mclovin." "Uh, superbad, baby." "Super what?" "I said i'm superbad, baby." "Yeah, that's what i'm talking about." "# for mclovin, boy #" "Are you mclovin it?" "[laughs]" "[#]" "Seth [whispering]:" "I love you."

"What is it that makes a man a man?" "Is it his origins, the way things start?" "Or is it something else, something harder to describe?" "For me, it all began in 1944." "Classified mission off the coast of Scotland." "The Nazis were desperate." "Combining science and black magic they intended to upset the balance of the war." "I was 28, already a paranormal advisor to President Roosevelt." "I could never have suspected that what would transpire that night would not only affect the course of history but change my life forever." "All right, men, let's go." "Move!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Let's fan it out." "Your men they'll need these." "Are you a Catholic?" "Yes." "Among other things." "But that's hardly the point." "Well, you're gonna need one of these." "I abhor the use of violence." "Thank you." "I wouldn't want you to think me mad, Sergeant Whitman." "No, three days too late for that, Professor Broom." "All right, you guys, let's move, move, move, move!" "This way!" "Left, right!" "Come on, men, let's get the lead out!" "We're close!" "You're wasting our time." "There's nothing here but sheep and rocks." " Ruins, not rocks." " Hold it right here!" "The remains of Trondham Abbey, built on an intersection of ley lines the boundaries between our world and the others..." "What a load of crap!" "Hell, a week ago, I never even heard the word "parabnormal."" "Paranormal." "Move it!" "Hold the line." "Come on!" "Sweet Jesus." "They must be here for the sheep." "The freak in the gas mask..." "Karl Ruprecht Kroenen." "Hitler's top assassin and head of the Thule Occult Society." "If he's here, this is worse than I thought." "No matter what happens tonight this book will guide you back to me." "I will not leave you." "I grant you everlasting life youth and the power to serve me." "Ilsa!" "Grigori!" "It's time." "Five years of research and construction, Grigori." "Five years!" "The fuhrer doesn't look kindly on failure." "There will be no failure, general." "I promised Herr Hitler a miracle." "I'll deliver one." "What I will do tonight can never be undone!" "I will open a portal and awaken the Ogdru Jahad:" "The Seven Gods of Chaos!" "Our enemies will be destroyed!" "And from the ashes a new Eden will arise." "Get down!" "I was taking a picture." "You do that again and I'll carve you a new one." "Listen, the portal is open." "Do you understand?" "We have to stop them." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Look out!" "Get down!" "It's almost over." "No, it's not." "The portal's been open for too long." "Something may have come through." "Have your men search the area thoroughly." "Spread out over that way!" "Sir!" "Something up here!" "He's gone." "For now." "When you said something came through..." "From where?" "I don't see them!" "Do you really, really believe in hell?" "There is a place, a dark place where ancient evil slumbers and waits to return." " Grigori gave us a glance tonight." " Grigori?" "That's Russian, right?" "Grigori Efimovich Rasputin." "Rasputin?" " Come on!" " Occult adviser to the Romanovs." "In 1916, at a dinner in his honor he was poisoned, shot, stabbed, clubbed castrated and finally drowned." "And yet, we saw him here tonight." "Professor Broom." "Careful." "Be careful." " What the hell is that?" "An ape?" " No." "It was red." "Bright red." "Lower your light, you're scaring it." " What are you two shooting at?" " A red ape!" "No, it's not an ape." "It's got a big stone in its hand." "I think that is its hand." "Look at the size of that whammer." "No, wait!" "Wait!" "A blanket." "Get me a blanket." "Come on." "Come on." "It's safe." "Jump down." "Come on." "Jump down." "It's a boy." "It's just a baby boy." "Move to the left." "There we were, an unready father for an unwanted child." "The boys gave him a name that very night." "In retrospect, perhaps not the most fortunate." "But nevertheless, a name we all came to use." "We called him Hellboy." "Look at the birdie." "Speculation about the origins..." "Evidence that Hellboy..." "So, what is it exactly that you say this agency does?" "I kid you not." "It hunts monsters." "The claim, of course, that this creature works for the FBI as a monster hunter." "What you seek is in there." "This is a sacred place." "Give me my gold." "We shouldn't be here." "Master." " Have you told him yet?" " No." "We should." " I'll notify his family." " He has no family." "According to this file, he does." "He has a son." "Hurry up!" " Hurry up!" " Wait right here!" "Tom Manning is the head of special operations at the FBI." "He joins Pat in the studio tonight to go over the latest Hellboy sighting." "There." "That's the tail." "And these are the horns." "I have a question." "In the pictures of aliens, UFO, the yeti, Hellboy why is it they're always out of focus?" "Why don't you tell us about the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense?" "I wanna tell you, I wanna tell the American public one thing." "Now, this Bureau for the..." "Paranormal Research and Defense." "There is no such thing." ""Waste Management Services"?" "What is it?" "John Myers, FBI." "Transfer from Quantico." "Look at the birdie, son." " Hello." "I'm John..." " You are late." "That's what you are." " Five minutes." " Yes, I know." " I'm going to..." " Section 51." "I know." "Watch your hands and elbows." " Pardon?" " Watch your hands and elbows." "Hello?" "Turn the pages, please, if you don't mind." "Please." "The pages." "These?" "You're reading these?" "Four books at once, every day as long as I'm there to turn the pages." "My name's Broom." "Professor Trevor Broom." "Sir, I'm John..." "Agent John T. Myers, Kansas City, '76." "T stands for Thaddeus, mother's older brother." "Scar on your chin happened when you were 10." "You still wonder if it's ever going to fade away." " How did it...?" " He." "Not "it."" "Abraham Sapien." "Discovered alive in a secret chamber of St. Trinian's Foundling Hospital, Washington." "...of St. Trinian's Foundling Hospital, Washington." "His name was taken from this inscription stuck to the side of his tank." " "Icthyo Sapiens." "...stuck to the side of his tank." " "Icthyo Sapiens." "April 14, 1865."" "The day that Abraham Lincoln died." "Hence, Abe Sapien." "Rotten eggs." "A delicacy." "Abe loves them." "How does he know so much about me?" "Abe possesses a unique frontal lobe." ""Unique." That's a word you'll hear frequently around here." "Sir, where am I, exactly?" "As you entered the lobby, there was an inscription:" ""In the absence of light, darkness prevails."" "There are things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers." "Make no mistake about that." "And we are the ones who bump back." "1937, Hitler joins the Thule Society a group of German aristocrats obsessed with the occult." "1938, he acquired the Spear of Longinus which pierced the side of Christ." "He who holds it becomes invincible." "Hitler's power increases tenfold." "1943, President Roosevelt decides to fight back." "The Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense is born." "1958, the Occult Wars finally come to an end with the death of Adolf Hitler." "1945, you mean." "Hitler died in '45." "Did he, now?" "Myers, this is Agent Clay." "Take his lead." "He'll make the introductions." "You're not coming?" "I handpicked you from a roster of over 70 academy graduates." "Make me proud." "They're not speaking." "Professor Broom had him grounded." "Grounded?" "Who's grounded?" "Okay." "You saw the fish guy, right?" "Oh, yeah." "That was weird." "Yeah." "Right." "Well, come on in." "Meet the rest of the family." "He gets fed six times a day." "He's got a thing for cats." "You'll be his nanny, his keeper, his best friend." "He never goes out unsupervised." "Who?" "I hate those comic books." "They never get the eyes right." "Hellboy." "He's real." "60 years old by our count." "But he doesn't age like we do." "Think reverse dog years." "He's barely out of his 20s." "What's with the hair, Clay?" "Finally got them implants, huh?" "It'll fill in." "Who's the squirt?" "Agent Myers is your new liaison." "I don't want him." "What, you get tired of me, Clay?" "The candy." "Give him the candy." "Oh, sir, I..." "I have these for you." "Father's back?" " He still angry?" " Well, you did break out." "I wanted to see her." " Nobody's business." " It is." "You got yourself on TV again." "Myers, huh?" "You got a first name, Myers?" "Try not to stare." "He hates it when people stare." "John." "John Myers." "Well, John'll do." " Stare at what?" " His horns." "He files them to fit in." "What you looking at, John?" "Oh, no, no, no." "Nothing." "Nothing at all." "Code red." "Hey, hey, hey." "Warning." "Code red." "They're playing our song." "Come on, champ, let's go fight some monsters." "We're here at the Machen Library where just hours ago, an alarm was triggered." "The N.Y.P.D. has yet to issue a statement." "We've got SWAT vans, paramedics." "You name it." "And now here comes a garbage truck." "A large garbage truck." "Look at them ugly suckers, Blue." "One sheet of glass between them and us." "Story of my life." "Outside." "I could be outside." "You mean, outside with her." "Don't get psychic with me, fella." "Nothing psychic about it." "You're easy." "How am I gonna get a girl?" "I drive around in a garbage truck." "Liz left us, Red." "Take the hint." "We don't take hints." "Okay, guys, let's sync up our locators." "Seal the doors." "Red and Blue are coming in." "1900 hours, an alarm was tripped." "A large entity, type 5, reported." "Very aggressive." "Six guards dead." "I thought we checked this place." "Fakes and reproductions." "Apparently, not everything was fake." "Father." "The entity is still in there." "Video surveillance shows a 16th-century statue was destroyed." "St. Dionysius the Areopagite." " Who wards off demons." " Exactly." "The statue, however, was hollow." "A reliquary." "A prison." "The Vatican deemed its occupant dangerous enough to include it on The List of Avignon, of which, by the way, we hold a copy." "Perfect job for these babies." "Made them myself." "Holy water, clove leaf, silver shavings, white oak." "The works." "Behind this door, a dark entity." "Evil, ancient and hungry." "Oh, well." "Let me go in and say hi." "You better hit the books, Brother Blue." "We'll definitely need more info on this one." "Hey, no one goes with him?" "Jesus." "No." "He likes it that way." "The whole "lonely hero" thing." "Hey, Stinky." "Kitchen's closed." "What you having?" "Six library guards, raw, plus belts and boots." "Man, you're gonna need some heavy fiber to move that out." "Red, I found something." "This entity's name is Sammael, the desolate one." "Son of Nergal, brother of..." "Listen, Sammy I'm not a very good shot, but The Samaritan here uses really big bullets." "So, what do you say we work this out in a nice, peaceful..." "Oh, crap." "That's it for you, Sam." "Red, you need to hear the rest of the information." "No, he's taken care of." "No, listen to this." ""Sammael, the desolate one, lord of the shadows son of Nergal, hound of resurrection..."" "See I don't like that." "What?" "Hound of resurrection?" ""Harbinger of pestilence." "Seed of destruc..."" "Cut to the end." "How do I kill it?" "Doesn't say." "Go to the front." "Let's go!" "Move!" "I'm going around the back." "Oh, crap." "Child." "All grown up, I see." "That voice." "It was the first lullaby you ever heard, my son." "I ushered you into this world." "I alone know your true calling, your true name." "Name this." " That thing." "That thing." " What do you think you're doing?" " What do you think you're doing?" " Helping you." "I..." "Nobody helps me!" "It's my job." "You want to help?" "Here." "Load this." "It's a tracking bullet." "Crack the pin." "Jesus, what's that on your arm?" "Oh, crap." "What the hell is that thing?" "Let me go ask." "All right, keep coming." "Good." "Keep coming." "Why, you little..." "Wait!" "We're heading toward civilians." "Crazy costumes, huh?" "Trick or treat." "Red means stop!" " You all right?" " Yeah." "Stay here." "Sammy, you got a leak." "Waiting for me, chunk-face?" "What the...?" " I'm on your side." " Sure." "That's right!" "Open wide!" "Son of a..." "Yuck!" "Screw this." "I'm fireproof." "You're not." "Hey, Myers." "Yeah?" "Yeah?" "Yeah?" "How's your arm?" "Yeah, my arm's fine." "Where are you?" "I just fried Stinky." "Listen tell Father I'll be home but he shouldn't wait up." "No." "No, wait, wait." "Yeah, I gotta go with you." " Hey, Myers." " Yeah?" "Bye." "Damn it." "Sammael, die in peace and be reborn again and again." "There's a big, red man down there." "That's fine, darling." "Santa's not here for another month." "Not Santa." "Well, who, then?" "I brought beer." "Oh, Red, your arm." "You better get that looked at." "I wanted to see you." "Every time the media gets a look at him, they run to me." "I'm running out of lies, Trevor." " I thought you like being on TV." " I do." "So how many escapes this year alone?" "Five." "Tom, he's our guest, not a prisoner." "Your guest is 6-foot-5, bright red, has a tail and is government-funded." "I know where to find him." " I'll get him back." " Hey, fish stick." "Don't touch anything." "I need to touch it to see." " See what?" " Past, future." "Whatever this object holds." "Is he serious?" "Don't worry about fingerprints." "Never had any." "Professor, they were here." "Who was here?" "Nixon?" "Houdini?" "Jimmy Hoffa?" "Who?" "Show me, Abe." "Show me what happened here." "This is east-wing check-in." "We're all clear." "Also, make sure it's all locked up over there in the annex." "Roger that." "Kroenen!" "Move." "Move!" "There he is!" "We'll cover him from here!" "All right, don't move!" "Put that down." "Put down the weapon!" "Get them." "Drop the weapon." "On the ground!" "Last warning!" "Take him out!" "Now, ready the welcome, my love." "Salt gathered from the tears of a thousand angels." "Restraining the essence of Sammael, the hellhound." "The seed of destruction." "This I can promise, Sammael." "For each one of you that falls two shall arise." " Professor." " I'm all right." "Professor." "You..." "You are very sick." "I don't want Hellboy to know." "Sixty years ago, they tried to destroy the world." "They're back." "In my lifetime, they're back to finish the job." "We miss you at the bureau." "Abe's crazier every day." "Father's still mad at me." "Come back, Liz." " Come back." " No." "No, H.B." "No, not this time." "I don't like it here but I haven't had an episode in months." "And you know what?" "I'm learning to control it." "I'm learning where it comes from." "For the first time in my life I'm not afraid." " Looks like your ride is here." " Have escort stand by." "The Nanny Squad." "Listen, H.B I've got a chance out here." "So if you really care about me you won't come back." "Yeah I gotta go too." "Lots to do." "Hey, Red." "Oh, God." "You've lost a lot of blood." "This is nothing." "You know what'll kill me, don't you?" "Okay, Red, let's get you home." "Come on." "You were burned by some organic acid." "I'm lucky that way." " I worry about you." " Me?" "Well I won't be around forever, you know." "Damn!" "Could you please be a little careful?" "Big baby." "How long was it latched onto you?" "I don't know." "About five seconds." " Professor, look." " Is it bad?" "Touched you five seconds, laid three eggs." "Didn't even buy me a drink." "The stinger detaches itself from the tongue and injects the eggs." "They are very sensitive to heat and light." "They need a humid, dark environment to breed." "Did you ever lose track of him?" "Well, let's see." "There was that moment when I had the train on top of my head." "We can't risk it." "Tomorrow you'll go back to the tracks with a group of agents." "Search the whole place top to bottom." "Find those eggs and destroy them." ""Elizabeth Sherman."" "I don't like the term "fire-starter."" "I just don't." "And "pyrokinesis" sounds like some psychosis or something." "I don't know." "Maybe that's right." "Not being able to let go." "It's scary." "I black out after each episode." "Sometimes for hours." "You hear about so and so who just lost control and just exploded." "Well, they're lucky it isn't true." "With me, it is." "My master is calling your name now, my girl." "You must return to the child." "So once again dream of fire." "Hey, freak!" "Get back here, freak!" " Let's get her!" " Get her!" " Get her, guys!" " Watch this!" "Freak!" "Oh, no!" "Not again." "Oh, no!" "Somebody!" "Help me!" "Help me, somebody!" "Help me!" "How many buildings does she have to burn down?" "She belongs here." "That's not what she feels." "She may never feel it." "It's her choice." "She may never feel it." "It's her choice." "Professor, the girl you're..." "Professor, that girl you're talking about..." "Professor, that girl you're talking about..." "Hey, Boy Scout think twice." "No, listen, I read her file." " "Read her file."" " She blames herself for that explosion in Pittsburgh." "Look, I think I can help." "I could talk to her." "I think I could bring her back." "Just what was it that landed you this job pushing "pamcakes," huh?" "What was it?" "Punctuality?" "The way you part your hair?" "What is your area of expertise?" "He doesn't want me with him." "I know that much." " You're doing fine." " No, I'm not." "Look, he respects Clay, not me." "I'm really sorry, okay?" "I'm not your guy." "I'm dying, Agent Myers." "Like any father, I worry about him." "In medieval stories, there is often a young knight who is inexperienced but pure of heart." " Come on." "Look, I am not pure of heart." "Yes, you are." "Rasputin is back for him." "What I ask of you is to have the courage to stand by him when I am gone." "He was born a demon." "Can't change that." "But you will help him in essence to become a man." "Pull that down." "She was making great progress and now this." "We'll be closed for months." "And it put a big dent in our Thorazine supply." "She's been like this since it happened." "Are you sure you want to go in?" "Miss Sherman?" "I'm Agent Myers, FBI." "Miss Sherman?" "Can I call you Liz?" "It's a beautiful name." "Sixty percent of all the women in the world are named Liz." "Well, it's impressive by my standards." "My name's John." "John T. Myers." "Dr. Broom asked me to invite you back to the bureau." "No special precautions, no security escorts." "Just you and me in a taxi like regular folks." "Over here." "You said those eggs need it dark and humid?" "Well, they hit the jackpot." "The subway lines, they all converge right around here." "Right below us is the old Vandeveer reservoir." "It was abandoned in the mid-30s." "There's a pulse." "There." "A cistern on the other side." "Most of the eggs are there." "There's no way in." "We should go back and request a special permit, type 2..." "You guys coming or what?" "We lead a charmed life." "Here you are, doctor." "This should cover your tail fin." "This should cover your tail fin." "Reliquary." "Straight from the Vatican." "A bone from St. Dionysius." "Looks like a pinkie." "A bone from St. Dionysius." "Looks like a pinkie." "A bone from St. Dionysius." "Looks like a pinkie." "Remind me why I keep doing this." "Remind me why I keep doing this." "Rotten eggs and the safety of mankind." "This doesn't really look like doll's hair." "Be honest, Red." "What do you think?" "I'm thinking about doing it myself." "Hey, you guys find anything?" "No eggs yet, Red." "What, are you on a lunch break?" "Nothing here." "Red's on the move." "I'll cover him." "Damn it, Red." "Hey, it's Abe." "Oh, God." "Bring your toy over here." "Oh, man." "Oh, Jesus." "There's only one." "I'll fry him quick." "Two." "There were two." "Red?" "Red." "Come in, Red." "What's your 20?" "I got no signal." "Where the hell are you?" "It's like Swiss cheese in here." "Sit tight, pal, I'm on him." "Sammael, hound of the resurrection." "Didn't I kill you already?" "You goddamn monster!" "Oh, crap." "It's for you!" "You shouldn't hurt people!" "You missed." "Hey, chunk-face." "You can do better than that, big monster like you." "My kittens!" "Please!" "My kittens!" "Please!" "Somebody, please, get my kittens!" "Somebody, please, get my kittens!" "Second date." "No tongue." "My kittens." "Careful with them!" "Lady, give me a break!" "Thank you." "My job." "Clay, I'm getting a signal from Abe." "I'm on my way back." "Clay, I'm getting a signal from Abe." "I'm on my way back." "Buddy, don't take another step." "Clay." "Man down." "I need an ambulance right away." "Do you read me?" "Hang in there, pal." "Man down." "Do you read?" "Do you read?" "Quarry, Moss, do you read me?" "Quarry, Moss, do you read me?" "Man down!" "He'll make it." "Not everyone was so lucky." "We had two agents die today." "Clay probably won't survive the night." " Not now, Manning, please." " My problem with you:" "You're reckless." "These men trusted you to lead them as a team." "Where were you?" "I knew those men better than you did." " That makes it all right, then." " No, it doesn't make it all right." " But I stopped that thing, didn't I?" " Yes, you did." " But I stopped that thing, didn't I?" " Yes, you did." "It's what you do." "It's why we need you." "It's what you do." "It's why we need you." "You have an insight." "You know monsters." "What are you trying to say?" "What are you trying to say?" "This whole thing is a farce." "This whole thing is a farce." "This whole thing is a farce." "Because in the end after you've killed, after you've captured every freak out there after you've killed, after you've captured every freak out there there's still one left." "You." "Hey, Manning." "I wish I could be more gracious, but..." "Welcome back." "It's only for the weekend, Professor Broom." "I want that thing locked up, starting now." "Right now!" "Do you...?" "Now, you hear me?" " Locked up!" " Nothing's changed." "Home sweet home." "Liz?" "Liz!" "You did it, buddy." "You did it!" "Myers?" "Pop?" "I'm gonna put these over here, okay?" "One minute." "One minute." "Hey, Myers you're a talker." "What's a good word, a solid word, for "need"?" "Well "need" is a good, solid word." "Too needy." "Start in, okay?" "You got nachos coming." "Nachos." "Oh, my God." "Look at them all." "Who had babies?" "Liz, there's something I need for you to hear, and it's..." "Will it take long?" "Because I'm actually going out." "Out?" ""Out" out?" "Yeah." "Yeah, for a cup of coffee, but go ahead, read." "Are you going alone?" "No, Myers is taking me." "Hey, your chili's getting cold." "Not hungry." "Is there something you'd like me to hear?" " It's just a list." "It's not finished." " Okay." "Well, then, later." "See you." " Anything else you need?" " Not from you." "Well, good night." "Goodbye." "Subject:" "Karl Ruprecht Kroenen." "Born in Munich, 1897." "Suffered from a masochistic compulsion..." "Both eyelids surgically removed along with his upper and lower lip." "The blood in his veins dried up decades ago." "Only dust remains." "What horrible will could keep such a creature as this alive?" "And one of those cookies." "Do you have any doughnuts?" "Sorry, pal." "How about a bear claw?" "No." "He's determined, unstoppable." "Some people would call that cocky." " He's just strong." " Yeah." "That he is." "Hey, I've got yours." "My uncle, he used to say we like people for their qualities but love them for their defects." "He loves you, you know." "What about you?" "I don't know." "I grew up with him." "But now every time I see him, I get confused." "There's hardly a day that goes by that he's not in my mind." "Even now I feel like he's here." "Hey, wait up." "You like doughnuts?" "I got two." " Thanks." "That was nice." " I got a cookie, as well." " Sugar?" " No." "No sugar." "Thank you." "No cream and sugar, moron." "She takes it black." " I got some milk here." " No." "I'm okay." "I don't take milk." " You're lucky." " Told you." "She took his picture." "Damn!" "She took his picture." "She took his picture." "She took his picture." "Oh, crap." "It's freezing, isn't it?" "Coffee's warming me up." "Well, what do we do now?" "Newark, New Jersey, entertainment capital of the world." " You sound like a game-show host." " Hi." "Hey." "You're Hellboy." "I'm on a mission." "All right, tell me something about you." "Where do you come from?" "I lived with my uncle most of my life." "Then I went to Quantico, went to top of my class." "I'm nothing like..." "Don't tell anyone, huh?" "Attaboy." "Sebastian Plackba, number 16." "Moscow." "Who wants us in Moscow?" " My mom baked them." " She's laughing." "She's sitting on a park bench, and she's laughing." "That's it." "I'm done." "They don't look like spies." "Are you kidding me?" "Look at this guy." "Those shady little eyes, that phony grin." " Are you going to eat that?" " No." "Hey, he's yawning." "He's bored." "Yeah, the old yawning trick." "Watch his arm." "First he wants my job, then he wants my girl." "Hey, we all have a side that we try to hide." "God..." "Hey, what the hell?" "Hey!" "Hey, who threw that?" " Are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "Nice shot." "Sebastian Plackba, number 16." "It's Rasputin's mausoleum." "It's Rasputin's mausoleum." "I see the puppet." "But where is the puppeteer?" "Very good, Professor Broom." "It was you." "The scraps of paper Liz's sudden relapse and return." "Bread crumbs on the trail." "Like in a fable." "They both distract him and guide him exactly where I need him." "Moscow." "His destiny." "And the last clue will be left by the late Professor Broom." "You raised the child." "Nurtured him." "So in return I will permit you a brief, brief glimpse of the future." "He will open the portal and bring about the end of the world." "If only you had had him destroyed 60 years ago none of this would have come to pass." "But then, how could you have known?" "Your God chooses to remain silent." "Mine lives within me." "Every time I died and crossed over a little more of the master came back with me." "He disclosed to me the child's true name." "Would you like to know it?" "I know what to call him." "I call him Son." "I'm ready." "It'll be quick." "Just go there and tell her how you feel." "My mom says that..." "Look, it's not..." "It's not that easy, okay?" "Plus, you're 9." "You're not old enough to be giving me advice." " All right, stand by." " Who are those guys?" "Liz, I'm sorry." "It's Broom." "Let's go." "We need to find him." " No!" " Wait, what happened?" " No!" " It's okay." "No, not him." " Would you take her?" " Something's wrong." "He hasn't spoken to anybody in three days." "Not a word." "He won't eat, he won't sleep." "I've never seen him like this." "Never." "Should I stay?" "With him, I mean?" "Listen, I'm not much of a problem solver." "Three decades, I've only completed two sides." "But I do know this much." "If there's trouble all us freaks have is each other." "And I'm stuck here." "So take care of the big monkey for me, will you?" "Volokolamsk Fields, 50 miles from Moscow, that's where we're going." "Sebastian Plackba, number 16." "That's the only clue we have." "We've collected and destroyed thousands of eggs but we have no trace of this Sammael or this Rasputin character." "We leave as soon as we get clearance and equipment." "Hellboy's coming." "I'm not pleased about that, but I'll be in charge this time." "We either wrap this up or I'm closing this freak show for good." "Hi." "Hi." "I'll if you're still going." "I am." "But I have something to say." "I understand what you don't like about me." "I do." "What I am makes you feel a little out of place out there." " Red, I don't..." " Listen." "I'm not like Myers." "He makes you feel like you belong which is good, really." "I wish I could do something about this." "I can't." "I can promise you two things:" "One, I'll always look this good." "And two I'll never give up on you." "Ever." "I like that." "One falls, two shall arise." "Sammael." "We'll have to nail them all at once, and the eggs." "And when we do, no mumbo jumbo." "Double-core Vulcan-65 grenades." "We've installed a handy little timer." "You set it, you walk away." "Cable pulls the safety pins." "Kaboom." "Easy to clean, easy to use." "Sparky to Big Red." "Do you read me?" "Come in." ""Sparky"?" "Who came up with that?" "Myers?" "Yeah, we're leaving the main road, so hang on." "This better be the place or I'll puke." "You better come out and see." "Sebastian Plackba, number 16." "Forget it." "We're never gonna find Rasputin's mausoleum." "Now, what we do here is we make up a grid." "We go in by quadrants." "Maybe satellite photography." "Let me ask for directions." "What'd he say?" "Come on, baby, find me a talker." "Hi there." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "What do you want?" "This is ridiculous." "I run this show, not him." "This guy's nothing but trouble." "Anybody got a PowerBar?" "Hey, there he is." "Sixty feet further, comrades." "And three rows in." "What the hell is that on his back?" "This here is Ivan Klimentovich." "Say "hi," Ivan." "Go that way, Red Monkey!" "Gotcha." "Ivan says there's a whole network of tunnels down here." "Goes on for miles." "Stay close, everybody." "You better be right about this." "We'll be all right as long as we don't separate." "Hey, Sparky." "Tell everyone to turn their locator belts on." "Anybody sees anything..." "I'll say "Marco."" "Polo." " Are you sure about this?" " On a scale of one to ten:" "Two." "Don't worry, Boy Scout, she'll take care of you." "She's a tough one." "Come on." "Ask your buddy how far this thing goes." "How you doing up there, Ivan?" "If I had legs I'd kick your ass!" "Would you mind holding this guy for a while?" "He is so negative." "What the hell is that?" "Something big." " Lime, come with me." " Right." "No, no, no." "Stay put!" "Stop!" "You listen to me." "Listen to me!" "I'm in charge." "We're gonna go back." "You can take that door apart." "Whatever it is, it's coming for us." "Now, we gotta move forward!" "Lime, let's go!" "Stay put!" "And you!" "I am not afraid of you!" "I'm in charge!" "We go back!" "I was better off dead!" "Oh, crap." "Music." "Really went deep." "Hey, what's wrong with you?" "!" "You killed my father." "Your ass is mine." "What are you laughing at, you Nazi son of a...?" "Don't even think about it." "That's all for you, pinhead." "What are you doing?" " What are you doing?" " Having a..." "You never light a cigar that way." "You use a wooden match." "Preserves the flavor." "You see?" "Thank you." "Thank you." "So he thinks you and I..." "That's why he's mad at me." "But it's not true, right?" "What?" "Well, that, you know, you feel that way about me." "You want to know that here?" "Now?" "Yeah." "Red, white, whatever." "Guys are all the same." "Hey, wait up." "Have you found them yet?" "I got them right below me." "It's a matter of minutes." "Okay, good." "Could you hurry up?" "Because it's a little spooky in here." "Liz, wait." "Oh, my God." "Let's back out real slow." "Let's back out real slow." "Myers, ready your grenades." "Marco." "Marco." "Marco." "Get your big, red butt over here." "I'm coming for you, kid!" "No piggybacks!" "Get off me, you..." "Liz, no!" "They're gonna kill him!" "Do something!" "What do you want me to do?" " Hit me." " What?" "Hit me." "Now!" "You should be running." "They are all here." "All of them." "Just the way it was promised." "This one's awake." "Thank you for this." ""And I looked and beheld an angel." "And in his right hand, the key to the bottomless pit."" "These were the words I heard as a peasant boy in Tobolsk." "And now, the door." "Sent by the Ogdru Jahad so that they might at long last enter our world." "You are the key, the right hand of doom." "Your stone hand." "What did you think it was made for?" "Open the locks." "Don't do it, Red!" "Don't do it!" "Silence." "Imagine it." "An Eden for you and her." "No." "No?" "In exchange for her soul, then?" "Open the door." "No." "As you wish." "No!" "Liz!" "Her soul awaits on the other side." "If you want her back open the door and claim her." "Your true name is inscribed around the locks that hold you." "You cannot break them no matter how strong you are." "The eclipse has begun." "Your true name say it!" "Become the key." "For her." "Anung un Rama." "Repeat it." "Anung un Rama." "Open the final lock." "Remember who you are!" "Believe me, I have lived long enough to know not a tear will be shed for this world!" "You have a choice." "Your father gave you that." "No, you don't!" "Open it!" "Do it!" "What have you done?" "I chose." "You will never fulfill your destiny." "You will never understand the power inside you." "I'll just have to find a way to live with that." "Child." "Look what you've done." "You've killed me an insignificant man." "But you have brought forth a god." "Myers, let's go." "Hell will hold no surprises for us." "I took a grenade belt." "The damn thing's broken." "Keep her safe, will you?" "Whatever happens, don't leave her alone." "I won't." "You're okay, Myers." "Stick around." "Hey, Red." "Just pull the cable." "I didn't get you anything." "Are you going to be okay alone?" "How big can it be?" "Damn!" "Damn." "Oh, this is gonna hurt." "Gonna be sore in the morning." "She's got no pulse." "She's not breathing." "Liz?" "I was so foolish." "Red." "In the dark I heard your voice." "What did you say?" "I said, "Hey you on the other side let her go." "Because for..." "For her I'll cross over." "And then you'll be sorry."" "What makes a man a man?" "A friend of mine once wondered." "Is it his origins?" "The way he comes to life?" "I don't think so." "It's the choices he makes." "Not how he starts things but how he decides to end them." "Hey, guys?" "I'm still here." "Hello?" "edited and synced by rogard"

"THAT MAN FROM RIO" "A week's leave." "Yes, a week's leave." "We re-open at 2." "It's noon." "I'm starving." " Smell this cheese." " Wonderful." "Professor!" "A phone call for you." "I'm not in." "It's about the museum." "It's been robbed!" "What?" "What?" "In the museum?" "I'll come at once." " You didn't eat your perch!" " She didn't." " See you in a week." " Here we are, then." " See you." " Bye, Lebel." " We'll have fun." " Count on it." "You've got a girl." "Maybe there's someone else, though." "Impossible!" "If she has, bang!" "It's over." "Don't knock her about, though!" "Nobody takes me for a ride!" "See you in a week, then, on the 2.55 train." " On the dot!" "Goodbye, Lebel!" "Goodbye, Dufourquet." " It's closed." " Agnès de Villermosa." " So?" " Let her in." "Sit still..." "That's it." "Thank you." "Well?" "No surface wounds." "Heart attack, I think." "All the excitement." "Isn't there something fishy here, Professor?" "They're curious thieves." "There's a golden tiara here, a ruby necklace there... all left for an earthenware statue?" "Probably a crazy collector." "A banal news item." "That's no ordinary statue." "It's priceless." " The relic of a lost civilization." " Lost?" " The Malteks." " What's the link?" " It's clear." " Fill me in." "An Amazonian people decimated by the barbarians." "Barbarians?" "Conquistadors, Europe." "You, me..." "Me?" "Hell's teeth!" "What about you?" "You've been to Amazonia." "Yes, I'll show you." "This was taken three years ago, at the end of our expedition." "I recognize you." "You're here." "No, there." "Who are the others?" "Villermosa, he died after we returned, and Di Castro, our Brazilian backer." "So each one of you came back with your own doll" " a pretty lousy haul - and now they've stolen yours." "Exactly." "That gets us nowhere." "The Malteks were interested in secrets and hypnosis." "Know what their favourite weapon was?" "Swords, spears?" "Poison." "That's all legend, ancient history." "Supposing not all of them disappeared?" "Indians dead for the last 300 years came to Paris only to steal some pottery by hypnosis." "It's obvious!" "The statues are cursed." "Mine was in the museum, it was attacked." "Villermosa kept his and died from a poisonous arrow." " You didn't tell me that, Martin." " Yes, 3 years ago..." " Agnès, you came." " I wanted to know..." "To whom do I have the honour?" "Mr Villermosa's daughter." "Don't know him." "Oh, yes..." "Forgive me, miss." "What happened to your father's statue?" "It was never found." " He hid it before he died." " Thank you." " Tell me..." " I'll see the lady out." "I'll wait." "I found this in the crook of his elbow." "They mock when I say Malteks." "The race supposedly disappeared." "The fools laugh!" "The green forest swallowed those insect-eaters up!" "It's nice of you to come." "You always do if something's wrong, and that's important." "I'd love to have a daughter like you." "I'm not a little girl anymore." "You always say that." "Once every 6 months." "Haven't I changed at all?" "Lots." "You're more and more..." "Feminine?" "Is that no better?" "Oh, yes." "So?" "I'm an old thing." "How is your aunt?" "Well." "Do come and visit, won't you?" "Bye!" "So, Miss, why would they kidnap the professor?" "They took him just like his statue." "Your father's story." "That's why I'm here." "I want to know what's behind these statues." "They never found Mr Villermosa's?" "No." "After the expedition, my brother - her father - hid his statue." "And then, such a tragedy..." "I'm sorry, madam." " You-hoo!" " Adrien!" "Free for a whole week." "Didn't you get the postcard?" "Well, I'm here." "Who might this be?" "Don't worry, mate." "Nice to meet you." "See you next week." "Not now, this is the police." "The police?" "So your father hid his statuette?" "And Agnès claims she knows where he hid it." "We lived in Rio then." "Agnès was only 14." " He hid it near an aviary." " Brazil, near an aviary." "I remember." "It was 3pm, everyone was asleep." "I was taking a nap in my room." "And from the window I saw Papa dig a hole and put the statue in it." "He wore gloves and was all sweaty." "If we were to go there, I could find it." "Draw a map, I'll send it to the Brazilian police." "I don't know exactly." "I'd have to be there." "Miss, your car is blocking the traffic." "My car?" "I doubt that." "It is." "Please excuse me." "Don't forget me!" "We haven't forgotten about you, young man." "Come here." "Who might you be?" "Soldier Dufourquet, 3rd squadron." "A soldier." "You don't look like one." "A relative?" " No." " Fiancé?" "Not quite." "What are you here for?" "Agnès is a friend." "Oh, I see." "So tell me..." "Why do you think they kidnapped the professor?" "The professor?" "Oh yes!" "I'll tell you." "I did it." "Don't tell anyone." "Let's remain friends." "Don't get clever with me." "Do you want details?" "I was at the window." "Darkness fell." "Two steely-eyed men in black alighted from their Hispano." "The sinister pair approached the professor, surrounded him," "and kidnapped him." "Oh, shit!" "They're kidnapping her!" "Stop him!" " Ticket, please." " I'm not flying..." "You can get a ticket from the machine." "Get in line, like everyone else." "Agnès!" "Go ahead, gentlemen." "General?" " Would you like a newspaper?" " Yes, please." "Couldn't you find one?" "No matter." "You are charming." "A privilege, sir." "Stand at ease!" "Just like Charleroi, but in the right direction!" "Thank you, my dear!" "Sir, your boarding pass." "No, over this side." "Agnès!" "No, the other gangway." " Listen..." " Sit down, sir." "Look, I don't intend to..." "Miss!" "Your belt..." "Fasten it." "Welcome aboard." "Our next stop is Rio de Janeiro." "Rio!" "May I help you?" "Nothing?" " Your seat..." " It's here." "Wait till I tell Lebel!" " Sir?" " I have to talk to the captain." "We can't disturb him." "It's serious." "A girl is being kidnapped." "She's between those two men." "Wait here, please." "May I see your passports, please?" "Thank you." "Thank you." "That's what the man claims." "Do you know him?" " No." " Really, Agnès!" "Please return to your seat." "But Agnès..." "I'll notify the police in Rio." "They'll look into him." "Very well, sir." "Just let me explain..." "Sir, please wait here while we check your identity." "Brazil-America Publishing." "French?" "Italian?" "Only Portuguese?" "Another time..." "You can keep your Rio!" "Americano?" "Liz Taylor, Cadillac, Hollywood, Cape Canaveral..." "Polish it well." "Soles, laces, the lot." "You're French!" "Eiffel Tower, De Gaulle," "Brigitte Bardot..." "I know her." "Five cruzeiros." "Sorry!" "Fifty!" " Here." " Thanks." "What have I got myself into?" " What's your name?" " Sir Winston." " What?" " Sir Winston!" "Farewell, Sir Winston." "Where are you going?" "I'm looking for a girl." " Girls!" "This way..." " No." "My girl." "Agnès." "Agnès?" "Is she pretty?" "Lost in Rio, God knows where." "They kidnapped her." "Stay here." "Here, here!" "What's wrong?" "That's enough!" " What did you see?" " Come on." " Miss Villermosa." " She isn't here." "A French woman, came in with two flashy guys." "Flashy guys...?" "Just tell me her room number." "I'm not allowed to say." "Leave it, I'll manage." "Sir, I'll have to have you thrown out." "Don't worry, I'll find her." "Excuse me." "My dear!" "Don't you remember me?" "Of course I know old Pickwick!" "Agnès!" "It's me, Adrien." "Can you hear me?" "Wake up." "Have they hurt you?" "What did you say?" "Wake up, dammit!" "What do you want now?" "You hear me?" "Stop shaking me!" "Those bastards drugged her." "Look at me." "Get up." "Get up." "Smile, walk..." "Agnès, go in there and walk to the door." "Where is she?" "Where are you going?" "Come on!" "You brought some friends?" "Wake up." "Wake up!" "Oh, the bastards!" "This is nice!" "They look like waves." "How lovely!" "Agnès!" "Of course there are waves." "Of course the water's lovely." "Because we are in Rio!" "Rio?" "Yes, Rio de Janeiro." "Brazil." "Ring any bells?" "Brazil!" "Easy, now!" "What a man you are." " You recognise me?" " No, but it doesn't matter." " Calm down!" " You look handsome." "They've sabotaged her!" "She doesn't know me." "What a nice surprise." "A deserted beach, lovely music, everything I love." "Thank you, sir." "Stop." "You're tickling me!" "The bastards!" "What did he say?" "We can't sleep on the beach and have to move?" "OK, gentlemen." "Let's go." "I'm sleepy." "We'll go to my house." "Ah!" "A nightingale." "You live here?" "Come on!" "She's pretty!" "Yes, but high-maintenance." "Will you buy me pink sheets?" "See?" "She always wants something we haven't got." "She's dreamy, off the wall..." "You talk to her but she's listening to the Emperor of China." "A woman, Sir Winston, is someone who's waiting at home, who's tender and understanding." "You come home, she opens the door, she plays the piano or the harp." "You're home." "She can't boil an egg but I follow her across the world." " Is that normal?" " I know." "Scotch?" "Cheers!" "Where am I?" "What's wrong with me?" "Nothing." "Adrien!" "What are you doing here?" "Where am I?" "Agnès!" "Oh yes, Agnès." "Everything's OK." "Calm down." "Finally awake?" "Look." "What's this?" "It's very beautiful." "It's Rio." "Rio?" "Simple: yesterday I came to Paris with Lebel, went to your place..." "What's happened is dreadful." "It's wonderful." "Dreadful or wonderful?" "The ice cream's wonderful, what happened is dreadful." "Keep up!" "This isn't our honeymoon!" "I'm a deserter I could be shot." "So your statues, Indians and Pr." "Catamaran..." "Catalan." "Don't take his name in vain." "OK, they kidnapped him." "But why you?" "And why not me?" "Don't get upset." "There's a good reason to kidnap me." "Only I know where my father's statue is hidden." " You still don't get it?" " So?" "So they brought me here to find it." "A big mistake." " Where are you going?" " Come on!" "But where?" "Just come." "This is where my father and I lived." " You don't like it." " Yes, I do." "Lots." "Look!" "The dog house." "He was so cute." "His name was Pilou." "He was so hairy." "A St Bernard, with a blind eye because the maid spilled bleach..." " That's all very well..." " It's so pretty." " We're not here for that." " Right." "My room was there." "Right." "I was here, Papa left the house..." "Go to the end of the garden." " Keep going, further!" " Oh, what a pain!" "Left..." "Take it easy." " Where are you?" " Here." "OK." "Keep going back..." "Quickly!" "Turn around." "Straight on." "Keep going..." "Stand still!" "I remember now that Papa was here." " Funny, there was an aviary." " This is your aviary." " There weren't so many plants." " That's life." "Everything grows." "Give me the shovel." " Yes." " Dig!" "Hurry up, I'm waiting." "Look how beautiful it is." "Run." "Run!" "You asked for it." "Take this!" "Adrien!" "Help me!" "Adrien, save me!" "Oh, what bad manners!" "The statue!" "What's wrong?" "Don't ever point a gun at me." " But the gun..." " Adrien, what did I say?" "Just chill out." "The bad guys always win!" "Not for long, they don't know who they're dealing with." " When did they leave?" " I don't know." " But where to?" " I don't know, Miss." "Now they have 2 statuettes." "There's a third..." " Di Castro's." " He's in Rio?" "I think so." "Give me the phone book." " How do you spell it?" " The way you pronounce it." "He was on the expedition." "He's the next victim." "But I won't allow it!" "Stop talking and search." "Mr Di Castro is on the ship." " There it is, let's go." " Slow down." " We have to warn him." " How?" "We need a boat." "A pedalo!" "What if it's already too late?" "What if they already killed him, stabbed him?" "I fear that may be his floating grave." "You're right, let's go." " Chicken!" " Mind your words." "Then I'm going to dive in." "You're totally crazy." "Don't draw attention to me." "I'll dive right in." " Can you swim now?" " No, why." "Leave it to me." "I'll find your man." "Just wait there until I get back." "I get it!" "I'm useless and he wants a swimmer now." "Senor Di Castro." "It's ready." "Thank you." "Anyone home?" " Hands up." " No, let me explain..." "Don't look fishy." "Head for the harbour." "I left my land, my family, the army and friends, to cross the ocean to see some bird dancing to pots and pans." "Is that normal?" "Try it, it's easy." " Watch..." " Hold me back, boys..." "I was sick of being left alone." "Did you find Di Castro?" "No." "Wasn't he on the boat?" " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "You're angry?" "No, you can manage on your own." "Here, I found this." "I'm going home." "Lebel will be waiting at the station in 4 days." "It's been nice." "If I start something, I finish it." " The statue!" " Mr Di Castro." " You know him?" " Yes." "Where is he?" "He went by plane?" "Where?" "To Brasilia." "Adrien, did you hear?" "He's in Brasilia." "No time to lose." "Sure!" "We'll get the subway there." "Do you have a ticket?" "Here." "Oh, it smells of Paris!" "If you really loved me, you wouldn't make fun." "Haven't I proven it?" "Words prove nothing." " Is Brasilia far?" " No. 1 or 2000 kilometres." "Then we'll need a car." "I know one." "What colour?" "What colour would I like?" "Pink with small green stars!" "Look at that little house!" "There are butterflies." "What's that?" "Look, over there." "A pole." "No, there." "A telegraph pole." "We come around the world and all you see is poles." "Leave me alone." "You're amazing." "How can you be blasé amidst all these wonders?" "Listen!" "A deserter in a stolen car with a hysterical woman is either mental or blasé." "Take your pick." " Drive on." " If I want to." " Shall I get out?" " If you want to." "You always do what you want with me." "Pull it!" "I am doing!" " There should be a button..." " Which one?" "Look!" "Why is it always up to me?" "Careful!" "Don't let it go!" "What are you doing there?" "Get up!" "Yes, sergeant!" "At once, sergeant!" "Down!" "Up!" "Down!" "Up!" "You'll look silly in wrinkled trousers." "Are you angry?" "You might answer me!" "Don't stop here, it's a police station." "Sir, could you please arrest me?" "I'm a deserter, I lost my uniform," "I flew without a ticket, conned an invalid," "I fought with men of all colours and nations, and I drive around in a stolen pink car with little green stars." "I'm also guilty of public indecency." "The handcuffs, please." "Pvt Dufourquet, 3rd squadron, Besançon." "You know it?" "Besançon?" "Of course not." "Only Rio and Brasilia." "Ah, Brasilia!" "50 kilometres." "Being honest gets you nowhere." "Look!" "I know." "An elephant, a butterfly..." "No, the green car." "Slow down." "Yes, it's Catalan!" "Catalan who?" "Professor Catalan." "He's alive." "We must save him!" "Let's do it!" "Take the wheel." "I thought I was dead." " Professor!" " Hug him later!" "Start it up, quick!" "Agnès!" "How the heck did you get here?" "They kidnapped me." "My fiancé Adrien saved me." "He's on leave." "Eyes on the road!" " Thank you." " You're welcome." "What have they done to you?" "They kidnapped me in Paris." "Same here." "And we meet on the same road." " Where are we going?" " To warn Di Castro." "Warn him?" "Di Castro..." "Of course!" "I see now." "But we'll get there first." "I was afraid they had killed you." "Only I know the secret of the statues." "There's a secret too?" "I didn't take leave to play Indians in Mato Grosso!" " I have to be back by Monday." " It's always about you!" "Do me a favour!" "I want windows everywhere, everywhere only glass." "I want light... don't hesitate to make it transparent." "Like a dragonfly wing." "This building should be a dragonfly wing." "I insist..." "Let's go!" "Norbert!" "Let's go to my place for a drink." "You can tell me everything." "This is my bachelor pad." "A little fantasy of mine." "My fountains." "Not Versailles, but still cool." "But this side I hate." "No!" "None of this jangling music here!" "Leave us alone." "Don't worry, the statuette is safe." "It's the jewel of my collection, my dearest memory." "My youth." "Still a bachelor?" "Still wearing tight-fitting suits?" " Do you like the new Brazil?" " Very much." "And the Brazilians?" "It's very strong!" "To think I knew her this tall." "Everything shoots up around me, everything grows." "Like my city." "Three years ago, it was a flat wilderness." "Nothing!" "Then I arrived, with a few others, and here's the result." "You're wonderful!" "Only you haven't changed, Norbert." "I followed your work on the Malteks." "Very exciting!" " Such a dreamer." " You don't believe me?" "Yes, but I'm a busy man with no time for daydreams." " Don't worry, I don't see you as..." " A loser?" "Come now, Norbert." " You are ravishing!" " The statue, Mario." " I can't bore my guest." " She won't mind." "You want to see my statue?" "Here it is!" " It's a fake." " Bravo!" "The eyes of an expert." "It's a copy." "I have several." "The real one isn't here." "Where is it?" "How could I leave a wonder in a room where so many people pass?" " Fine." "But I..." " Have to be at the station." " Is there a problem?" " Our friend is in a fix." "He must be in Paris on Monday." "That's why we have planes." "I'll arrange everything." "Ready a seaplane for Mr Catalan, departure tonight." " Tonight?" " Or tomorrow at dawn." "Tonight, you are my guests." " My leave..." " No problem." "I'm sure your reasons are excellent." "I must introduce you to my wife." "Norma!" "Let's have an impromptu party for our friends from France." "We'll have our own little celebration!" " It's you." " Indeed." "Bone-head." "That's my nickname." "I always emerge victorious." "At war games!" "Did you know you have mechanical eyes?" " Mechanical?" " Full of malice and promise." " Oh, sir!" " They attract whispers, murmurs..." "Not so loud, please!" "What a savage!" "What was I saying?" "I have mechanical eyes." "You scare me." "I do hope so." "I climbed..." "Suddenly, the plane was on fire at 10,000 feet." "Hanging by my jaw, I felt the urge to laugh." "What's so funny?" "It's not true." "He's never left his barracks!" " Be right back." " "Be right back"!" " You think that's funny?" " Look after me." "What, you want me to dive, hit someone...?" "I'm not joking." "I think I love you." "Are the trials over?" "Isn't there a stray dragon?" "No, no dragons." "No one to kill?" "No one to save?" "I can retire." "Hand me my slippers, Mum!" "In good time." "Kiss me." "If it'll make you happy." "Mario, show me the statue." "Old friend..." "Have a drink." "You haven't drunk a thing." "No." "Are you afraid that you'll be poisoned... like Agnès's father?" "Why would you say that?" "You're so nervous." "Mind you, after all that's happened..." "The statue's still safe?" "I want to see it." " You're joking." " Not a bit." "I'll reassure you right now." "Come." "I repeat, it's well protected." "There's nothing to fear." "Trust me." "Come..." "Come on, I said!" "Please, after you." "Do you still believe in the Maltek treasure?" "More than ever." "And the 3 statues are the key?" "I don't know." "Maybe." "Be a good boy." "Go on in." "It's splendid." "I keep my finest pieces here." "My treasures." "And the statue?" "Well?" "Yes." "I've waited three years for this." "Three years of preparation." "Oh, I'm just a rat with a pipe-dream." "A short-sighted idiot with a jacket that's too small!" "But this loser will soon be richer than you." "Good boy..." "We won, Adrien!" "Another!" " We win." " Pick up the spares." " Having fun?" " We were looking for you." "I was here, Agnès." "Where's Di Castro?" "He was tired and slipped away." "I said our goodbyes." " We have to go." " But I'm winning." "Look... oh, I missed!" "Forget this stupid game." "I've something important to say." "Oh, 20 points!" "For the last time..." "Look, I'll win this game then we'll go." "I promise." "That hurts!" "My patience has its limits, unlike the foolish suitors you toy with." " They like it." " I don't!" "You're making a scene!" "What gives you the right?" " It's your turn, Agnès." " I'll take it." "Agnès!" "Wait, Adrien's calling." "Agnès!" "Don't worry, I'm coming!" "There's a phone call for you!" "It's your mother." "Quick, over there!" "OK, don't panic." "What did the monitor say?" "Full throttle..." "Pull the joystick slowly..." "Gently, gently..." "Agnès!" "Water, water everywhere!" "Nowhere to land." "What the hell, I'll jump." "No way!" "I'm not jumping." "I nailed the bitch!" "So you're French?" "Where from?" " Besançon." " I'm from Paris." " What now?" " A drink!" "Feeling better?" "And drier?" "You'll have a good time here." "They have everything:" "girls, drinks and music." "Paradise, my friend." "True paradise." "Shave..." " Where are those two going?" " The goons?" "To Lola's, like everyone else." "I'll show you." "What do you think?" "That's Lola." "Under the gloss, she's quite a character." "She runs this town." "Cheers." "Look at that." "No!" "Here, have a drink." "On your way." "You've done very well, Norbert." "Thanks to you." "You found me excellent help." "Effective, isn't he?" "I know how to choose men." "The boat looks perfect." "Give me the crew's pay." "Your business is costing me a fortune." "Just a few more days, and you'll be paid beyond your dreams." "I'm just doing it for you." "I don't believe in it anymore." "Then look..." "The statues held a secret that only I have discovered." "Watch..." "One..." "Two..." "Three." "The key is in the light." "Listen:" ""At the river's source, the sun melts the rocks."" "It's written here." ""As you enter the holy cave," ""dead lights come alive." Diamonds." "Tons of diamonds!" " The fabulous Maltek treasure." " Yeah, sure." "You still have doubts?" "About what you'll do with them." " You'll get your share." " What about this Agnès?" "Quiet!" "First we kill her father, and then you show up with her." "Her father didn't talk." "Only she knew where the statue was." "In Rio, not here!" "Enough!" "Not another word about her!" "OK, OK." "He's here?" "What's the matter?" " A guy followed us from Paris." " Leave it to me." "Is there a Parisian here?" "Who's asking?" "!" " You're the Parisian?" " Yes, ma'am!" "A refugee from gay Paree, that's me!" "Go to it, Chita!" "Where's the emergency exit?" "This way!" "You take the right, I'll take the left." "Excuse me." "Oh, sorry!" "Let me out!" "I want to leave!" "Emanuel!" "Can you give me a hand?" "Thanks." "How kind!" "Don't leave me alone!" "Agnès!" "You're a monster!" "Success justifies the crime." "What will it get you?" "Power!" "You met me in a dusty museum." "I can wipe them all out." "Soon I'll be the richest man alive." "I'll give you dresses, houses, maids." "You who intend to live with that penniless loser Adrien in sweat and squalor." "You, Agnès, can live in splendour with me, in one long party!" "No more obscurity, no more worries, no mood swings." "For you've found a reasonable man." "I could do what I like with you" " force you, beat you - as no one would come to help." "But I don't." "That's how I am." "Come now, have some rice." "Adrien!" "I love you." "Do you love me?" "What about me?" "We'll take two men to the river's source." "The rest can stay on board." "We've arrived." "Yes, there's no doubt, it's here." "No, stay here." "I can't go on." "A few moments and all the hard work's over." "2, 3, 4..." "Astem!" "Agnès!" "Help!" "Adrien!" "Let go of me!" "Where's Catalan?" " Do they still shoot deserters?" " I still have two days left." "Plenty of time." " Have you seen Lebel?" " No." "What's he playing at?" "Hurry up." "Get in!" " Unbelievable!" " Here, look..." "Let me catch my breath." " A souvenir for you." " Thanks." " If you only knew..." " What?" "The traffic!" "It took three hours to get here from my place." " Where?" " Viroflay." "I had to cross the whole of Paris!" "What an adventure!"

" Previously on The Blacklist." " Tell me about the murder.." "If I'm wrong about Tom," "I don't think I can handle any of it without him." "I got a call." "Guess I'm still on as your next of kin." " You're engaged?" " We broke up." "I saw you in the hospital, and I just haven't been able to stop thinking about you." "Hey." "She's calling herself Jolene Parker." "She's either got lots of little targets or one real big one." "I can't do this." "I love my wife." "Wrong answer." "Elizabeth keen is not your wife." "She's your target." "Hey." "Hey." "They miss home." "Just a few more weeks." "Go to bed." "You look exhausted." "I got a stack of case files I need to get through." "I have waited a long time for this reunion, Agent Raimo." "We've had the pleasure?" "Yes." "Though it could hardly be called pleasurable." "I was captured by your task force... collateral damage in your hunt for Raymond Reddington." "Mako Tanida." "On your knees." "I have no intention of getting..." "Aah!" "Aah!" "You lack honor and humility, Agent Raimo." "I will provide you with both." "Take up that tanto and remove it from its scabbard." "In feudal Japan, one warrior's transgression against another was measured by the code of bushido." "For your sins against me, I require ritual seppuku." "You will disembowel yourself to my satisfaction." "I will give you 60 seconds to put that sword into your stomach and begin cutting." "Do that, and it is you alone." "Or I will run you through myself..." "And take your whole family." "You won't harm my family?" "If you abide by honor..." "I will not." "So, you guys have been here for...?" "Oh, only a year." "Well, we moved from up north." "I was there for three years, actually, and... hey, babe." "You remember Jolene from the baby shower?" "Sure." "You sub for Mr. Sinnard?" "It's Ted, right..." "or Tim." "Sorry." "It's Tom." "Fourth grade." "We just bumped into each other outside." " She's looking for a place in the neighborhood." " Great." "I've got to get out of my apartment." "It's super-cramped." "And my fiancé and I love this neighborhood, so... ooh!" "Um, hey, what did you think of a-Allison's show?" "Who?" "Allison." "The exhibit at the Willard street gallery." "You went to an art exhibit?" "Well, uh, calling it art might be a stretch." "I-it was amazing." "Why didn't you bring your wife?" "Yeah, why didn't you bring your wife?" "For the record, I did invite you, but you were working, and trust me..." "you didn't miss anything." "Anyway, I would love to stay and talk art, but I should go grade some papers." "I should get going, as well." "Let me give you my cell." "Oh." "If you're looking for a realtor, my girlfriend Ellie is awesome." "Thank you, that's really cool of you." "Good luck with your papers, Tom." "Thank you." "And I will see you at school." "Thank you." "I see those wheels turning." "Hey, brother." "To Sam." "How you feeling?" "Um, first 48, right?" "Yeah, that clock ran out." "Hey." "Hey, fellas." "Pete." "Good to see you." "Good to see you, too." "Got anything yet?" "They got nothing." "Well, NPA said suicide, said that Sam was carrying a lot of debt." "Ritual suicide?" "I mean, come on." "I don't believe that for a second." "Sammy loved Sarah." "Then who gutted him?" "The list of people we pissed off... pick a number." "Yeah." "Hey, strangers." "Hey, Audrey." "How are you?" "Good to see you." "Is retirement treating you well?" "Yeah, well, never mind me." "It's a hell of a way to see you again." "Sorry." "Hey, Audrey." "You speak to Sarah?" "Being back in the states is hard enough." "Yeah." "I think we're gonna try and stay here with Sarah next week." "The house is gonna be surrounded by feds, sweetie." "I think she's gonna be okay." "Good ol' Rez." "Mr. emotional support." "We should probably get going and let the family have some time alone." "Bye, guys." "Bye, Audrey." "We've been tracking one guy for five years." "My money..." "Reddington's got his fingerprints all over this thing." "Hey." "Can I ask you something?" "It's Reddington." "You know how to find him." "Can you put the two of us in touch?" "What's going on with you two?" "Why?" "Because he's looking for you." "You shouldn't be here." "I said I'd send a messenger." "I wanted to deliver the check personally, Christine." "Thank you." "Will it be ready in time?" "Everything's on schedule, just like you asked... just like last time." "What do they do for lunch?" "Do they order in or eat salads out of those tupperware bowls?" "How does it work with dancers?" "They smoke." "I'll see you on the 22nd." "And please send my thanks to your mother." "I found Agent Ressler." "I heard Agent Raimo was relieved of his viscera." "If you had anything to do with this..." "Agent Ressler, please." "What was it..." "payback for Vienna?" "I'm the one who reached out to you, Donald." "And it wasn't to revisit all the times" "I eluded your little coterie of door-kickers who pursued me with such fervor and zeal." "I came to discuss a former associate of mine who your team arrested along the way..." "Mako Tanida." "The yakuza boss?" "He's in prison." "He was." "Two days ago, he broke out of Abashiri." "If you ask the Japanese, they'll skirt it." "They claim Abashiri is escape-proof." "It's embarrassing." "They're touchy about that sort of thing." "I suspect Tanida is the one who killed your agent friend." "So you want to help me find him?" "Let me guess..." "he double-crossed you, and you want his head in a box." "There's a thought." "But for the moment, the scalp I'm worried about is yours." "Tanida is disciplined, relentless." "If he did kill Agent Raimo, there's the distinct possibility he's just getting started." "I fear, Donald, that you're being hunted by a vengeful, ruthless killer." "Purpose of your visit?" "Reunion with some old friends." "Welcome to the United States, Mr. Itami." "Hello, Agent Maguire." "Who the hell are you?" "You don't remember me, do you?" "You will." "Mako Tanida, former clan boss of the Azuma-Dojin, based out of osaka." "By the time our task force caught up, he controlled a large part of the heroin trade traveling along the silk road." "After Tanida's arrest, we thought his empire would collapse." "It didn't." "In fact, it expanded... grew to include alliances with the Chinese triad," "Korean tong, even Russian bratva." "And his operations in the U.S. have grown extensively." "For a time, the intelligence community believed Tanida somehow was operating his empire from inside prison." "No one knew how, but there were theories he had politicians in his pocket or he controlled the army, but after he was put into solitary, it became clear that someone else was running the empire." "Within the agency, that man is known as Aiko Tanida," "Mako's younger brother." "He escaped the night of the raid that took Tanida." "We believe he went underground, dark, reemerged as something entirely different... bookish boy turned ruthless crime lord." "They call him "tensei." Means "reborn."" "Reach out to your agency contacts." "I want to know everything there is to know about this brother." "Uh, we just received word." "Uh, Agent Maguire..." "I'm sorry." "Maguire's body was found under a bridge near Broadway at 39th." "Domain awareness has three surveillance hits on Tanida." "Units en route." "Arrived on united 472 from Tokyo." "Passed through customs at 11:32 under the alias Yasu Itami." "Feed NPA the alias." "The Reddington task force..." "who else was on it?" "Myself and Bobby Jonica." "I'm sending protective detail." "Did you hear me?" "Agent Ressler." "I got a place up in prince George's county, off the grid." "I got to get Audrey there." "Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?" "You come to my house?" "Calm down." "You're not my handler." "I don't work for you." "Berlin is having doubts." "Yeah?" "Well, Berlin doesn't have a damn clue." "Do you have any idea how many candidates there were?" "They chose me." "I've done everything they asked." "I married the woman, for God's sake." "I've made her think my entire world revolves around her." "And now it's been two years, and I've heard nothing." "We sent word four months ago." "Four months ago, I had to go dark because" "Reddington sent a psychopath with a knife into my house." "He cut me like a totem pole, and because of that," "Liz finds my go-bag, my passports... everything." "So what did I do?" "I got myself out." "I convinced her that the passports are fake, the cash isn't mine, so excuse me for being... don't touch that!" "I've had my hands full." "Berlin wants information." "So do I." "You know somebody put cameras in that house?" "Somebody was watching us, and it wasn't the FBI, so why don't you tell me who the hell was it?" "I can't help you unless you calm down." "Oh." "You leave the door open?" "Yeah." "I-I told you I was gonna bring my stuff by." "I just didn't want to keep locking and unlocking the door." "Were you downstairs?" "Y-yeah." "I parked around back." "Why?" "What's wrong?" "I'll tell you in the car." "Don, what's wrong?" "Pete Maguire is dead." "Come on." "Best I can tell, their paths have crossed at key moments in the past 20 years..." "Quantico, Baltimore." "She doesn't know, and I can't prove it, but I believe Reddington was funneling money through the adoptive father for years." "What's this?" "It's the black site." "From memory." "It's the unit keen works for." "What about the cases?" "You know, I sat right next to Reddington once... at a hospital." "I could have put a bullet in his head." "That wasn't your mission." "All right, show and tell's over." "I have detention at 4:00." "Where are we going?" "What kind of trouble are you in?" "Sam didn't commit suicide." "He was murdered." "What are you... the same person who killed Pete." "You remember Japan, how the task force spent time there looking for Reddington?" "Well, we put someone away, and now they're out." "And they're coming for you." "I'm gonna take you somewhere safe." "My folks got this cabin up in P.G. county." "I'm gonna handle this." "It's gonna be okay." "Don, I'm scared." "Aah!" "Hang on!" "Hang on!" "Don?" "Unh!" "We have to go!" "Audrey!" "No, no, no, no." "I got you." "I've got you, sweetie." "Here." "Let me see." "Okay, come on." "Come on, come on, come on." "Come on, come on." "Put your hand here." "Put your hand here." "Come on, girl." "Come on, come on, come on, come on." "Shh, shh, shh." "Come on." "No, no, no, no." "Hey, hey, hey." "Hey!" "Look at me." "Stay, stay... stay with me." "Stay with me." "Don't go." "Come on, Audrey." "S..." "Come on, Audrey." "You can't sideline me." "We'll find Tanida." "Doesn't matter how long it takes." "But we have to do it the right way... follow procedure." "You really expect me to care about procedure?" "Of course not." "I can't imagine what you're going through." "I wouldn't dare." "But don't compromise yourself." "You're a good agent..." "A good man." "I have to do something." "You'll grieve." "And while you do, we'll track Tanida down, and we'll make sure he gets his due." "You have my word on that." "I'll have a car take you home." "Bobby, where are you?" "I went through every C.I., every source I had when I was running that task force." "I got nothing." "What about tensei, the brother?" "I reached out to a friend of mine at the D.E.A." "He's got no base of operation, no regular haunts, no hot spots." "This guy's a ghost." "Look, don..." "don, we don't... we can..." "we can do this later." "No, we do it now." "Somebody out there knows something." "Well, I'll tell you who knows." "Reddington?" "They worked together, Donny." "Reddington understands how this world works." "What I wouldn't give to get him alone in a room for just five minutes." "She still in town?" "No." "She's at the corn palace in Mitchell, South Dakota." "Bring her to me." "I thought you wanted to see how this played out." "It has." "Well, you want me to bring her in, there's gonna be a fee, and it's gonna cost you double." "Oh?" "Why is that?" "'Cause I don't like you." "And that hat makes your head look funny." "The pot meets the kettle at last." "Bring me the girl." "Searching in the desert for a drop of vengeance to slake an unquenchable thirst is a lonely walk, my friend." "Tanida's close." "I can burn the whole neighborhood down, or you can tell me where he is." "Donald, I understand how you feel." "Beneath the iron-and-rust exterior beats the heart of a man swimming in immeasurable grief." "I am truly sorry about Audrey." "There are few that understand love and loss more than I." "Well, I'm glad you understand." "Where is he?" "Let me tell you something that someone much wiser than I told me at a similar point in my life." "Go home." "Turn back from this and go home." "It may seem like the hardest thing in the world, but it is profoundly easier than what you're contemplating." "I'm not turning back." "That's pretty much what I said." "In your dust-up with Tanida, were there any survivors?" "Yes." "Injuries?" "Yeah." "Why?" "There's a house in Columbia heights... doubles as an underground hospital." "1306 Gerard." "May be worth a visit." "Agent Ressler." "Once you cross over, there are things in the darkness that can keep your heart from ever feeling the light again." "All I feel is hate." "Good." "You're gonna need it." "♪ Yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ well, it's too long living in the same old lie ♪" "Are you sure about this?" "A hospital?" "Where the hell did you get your information?" "You coming or not?" "Rez, you got to tell me what the hell you're thinking here." "I'm gonna find Tanida." "I'm gonna find anyone who was involved." "♪ Well, you walk a line like it's there to choose ♪" "Find them..." "And I'm gonna kill them all." "♪ Just forget the wins, it's the rest you use ♪" "Ah, okay." "♪ Oh" "♪ yeah" "♪ won't you follow me into the jungle?" "♪" "FBI!" "Everybody on the ground!" "You!" "Show me your hands!" "Show me your hands!" "Get over there!" "Go!" "You remember me?" "'Cause I haven't forgotten you." "Let's make this quick." "Where's Tanida?" "Where is he?" "!" "Shh." "Where's Tanida?" "No, no, no, no, no!" "English!" "22nd and Vermont." "Blue door." "It's a club." "Please..." "you didn't hear it from me." "Come on." "Stay there!" "♪ Lost my mind in the city of lights ♪" "No." "♪ In the back street bars, in the neon nights ♪" "Yep." "♪ Well, I heard the thunder, I could feel the rain ♪" "♪ it's the same religion, just a different name ♪" "♪ oh ♪" "♪ yeah ♪" "♪ won't you follow me into the jungle?" "♪" "♪ There ain't no God on these streets ♪" "♪ in the heart of the jungle ♪" "♪ yeah ♪" "We need to move..." "now." "Metro P.D. got called in on an 808." "They were told two men presented as FBI." "Ressler and Jonica." "Any idea how they slipped their protective detail?" "He's not answering his cell." "How did they know to come here?" "MPD, with full resources of the FBI... we didn't even know this place existed." "You and I both know how they got here." "No, I understand, but I don't care about the prince." "No, no, no, no, no." "The 22nd." "That was our agreement." "Christina, I don't care about production issues." "Please... just figure it out by the 22nd." "Ressler... where is he?" "I know he came to you." "I know you told him about that hospital." "Agent Ressler came to me for assistance, which I provided." "You sent him after Tanida." "No." "I provided a bit of direction in an otherwise blind pursuit." "He's not like you." "He can't just murder someone in cold blood and come out of it okay on the other end." "Nobody can murder someone in cold blood and come out okay on the other end." "We need your help." "We have to find Tanida before Ressler does." "We've looked through his financials, his prison contacts, the brother who..." "Tensei?" "The reborn." "He's dead." "What do you mean, he's dead?" "Aiko Tanida is running his brother's empire." "Aiko Tanida died the day his brother was captured by Ressler's task force." "Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't know the difference between a water buffalo and a musk ox." "Mako Tanida!" "Agent Donald Ressler." "Let's go for a drive." "Reddington says Aiko Tanida's dead... died the same night his brother was apprehended by Ressler's task force." "No, we have documented proof he escaped, evidence from... then it was falsified." "We need to review what happened that night." "Think about it... no one's seen or heard from the guy in four years." "Our last known photograph is older than that." "Aiko Tanida's not hiding." "He's dead." "We need to review the case files." "Someone else is running Tanida's business." "This is the incident report from the NPA in Japan." "What am I looking for?" "Most of the details support our own investigation." "The vehicle carrying Aiko Tanida was ambushed." "Only the driver's body was found." ""Most of the details"?" "What did we miss?" "Well, there was somebody else in the car." "The NPA report makes a reference to an American federal agent accompanying the transport vehicle." "What federal agent?" "Bobby Jonica." "Jonica was on the task force." "He had intimate knowledge of Tanida's enterprise." "He knew everything..." "key players, trade routes, distribution hookups." "And he was able to avoid detection by making us believe Aiko Tanida was still alive." "Jonica is tensei." "Who contracted you?" "This isn't right." "Who?" "Was it Younes?" "Salumbides?" "We shouldn't have brought him here." "Was it Reddington?" "Somebody might have seen you." "You know what?" "You're right." "I should've let him grab you and drag you off to God knows where." "I can handle myself just fine." "You weren't." "But you're welcome." "He's not gonna talk." "It was Reddington." "You don't know that." "You don't know that!" "Do you know that this whole thing is because of you that we're here with him?" "You never should have come to my house in the first place..." "I was following orders." "And you never should have talked to my wife." "What are we gonna do about him?" "You really don't get it, do you... what he's doing?" "Wujing." "The alchemist." "What are you talking about?" "The cases..." "Reddington used them to track you down, to get to you, to me." "That means that you are compromised, and if you're compromised, then it's only a matter of time before your trail leads to me." "That's not gonna happen." "Call my wife." "Get her on the phone." "Disengage." "Disengage?" "Disengage." "Tell her that you're not looking for a place anymore, that your boyfriend got a job offer, and you're moving to Dayton." "Don't do it." "As soon as you hang up that phone, he's gonna kill you, then he's gonna kill me." "Don't make that call." "Says the man tied to a chair." "Do it." "Hi, Liz." "It's Jolene." "Um..." "I-I hope you haven't gotten in touch with your realtor friend yet." "The craziest thing just happened." "Uh, my fiancé got a job in Dayton, of all places," "So, um, major bummer." "Uh, say goodbye to Tom for me, okay?" "There." "Happy now?" "Ohh!" "Okay." "Now you." "Hey." "You okay?" "Hey, Donny, we're doing the right thing here." "How long did it take for your girlfriend to bleed out?" "You must be filled with rage." "You have no idea." "Maybe I do." "Hey, just keep it to yourself back there, huh?" "Do you remember the night we met?" "The arrest, taking away me and my brother." "That was the last I saw of him." "The last anyone saw of him." "That's a very sad story." "Don't listen to him, Donny." "Hey, shut up back there." "Raimo and Maguire..." "I am satisfied they knew nothing." "That leaves the two of you." "You think I did all this because you arrested me?" "I said shut up back there!" "You were doing your job." "I respected that." "What I do not respect is that you killed my brother..." "Just shut your mouth!" "...Took my business." "Bobby, what is he talking..." "not one more word out of you!" "Bobby, talk to me." "Talk to me." "Never mind him, don." "Don't listen to him." "He's gonna kill both of us!" "Shut up!" "Donny, let go!" "Don't move, brother." "Don't even breathe." "He picked up Tanida." "After that, nothing." "We found his cell in his apartment." "The GPS in his car has been deactivated." "He's off the grid." "Prince George's county." "Ressler has a place there." "It's where he was going with Audrey." "If he wants to be alone... get there... now." "What are you doing, Donny?" "Come on." "Doesn't have to be like this." "You got to understand me, Donny." "I'm chasing scumbags all around the world, making millions of dollars." "Come on, Donny." "This is me." "What are you telling me... the boy scout's gonna kill his best friend?" ""Best friend."" "Couple months back, I was in this hospital." "I'd been shot." "Sitting in there for days, all alone." "And Audrey just..." "Pops into my head." "Couldn't have been more than an hour later, she walks in." "It's like the universe tilted and brought her to me, like it was fated to happen." "But..." "It wasn't fate." "You know why?" "Reddington." "I can tell you this because you're gonna die." "I work with Reddington." "Believe it or not, I was shot protecting him." "That's why I was in that hospital." "It's because of Reddington that Audrey came back into my life." "He's why I got three more months with her." "And because of you... she's gone." "My greatest enemy brought her back to me, and my best friend took her away!" "No, no." "Donny, you're wrong." "I didn't kill Audrey." "Tanida did." "Don't!" "No, you brought this down on us... on Pete and on Sam." "You're gonna do the honorable thing." "Or I'll kill you myself." "Call an ambulance." "Set a perimeter." "Pick it up." "That'll be crazy." "I'm not gonna do this." "What... are you crazy?" "Pick it up!" "I'm not gonna do it, Donny!" "You're gonna have to shoot me first!" "Come on!" "What are you, crazy?" "!" "Pick up the damn knife." "No." "Ressler, no!" "They're all dead, Liz." " Audrey's gone." " This isn't the way." "What if he killed Tom?" "What would you do?" "Listen to me..." "if you do this, you're gonna go to jail for the rest of your life." "Do it, Donny." "Do it." "Go ahead, Donny." "Donny, pull the trigger." "Don't listen to him." "You know what they'll do to me in prison, Donny." "A dirty cop..." "I can't do that, Donny." "Come on." "Pick it up." "Put down the gun, Ressler!" "Come on." "Pull the trigger." "Pick it up!" "Do it!" "Pick it up." "Pull the trigger, Donny." "Don't listen to him." "She's dead because of me, Donny!" "Do it!" "Pull the trigger!" "Pick it up!" "Pick it up." "Donny, come on." "Donny..." "I'm sorry, Donny." "Donny..." "♪ Strange face with your eyes ♪" "♪ so pale and sincere ♪" "♪ underneath, you know well ♪" "♪ you have nothing to fear ♪" "♪ for the dreams that came to you ♪" "♪ when you were young ♪" "♪ told of a life where ♪" "♪ spring has sprung ♪" "♪ you would seem so frail ♪" "♪ in the cold of the night ♪" "♪ when the armies of emotion ♪" "♪ go out to fight ♪ he's one of our biggest donors." "Never comes to any other performance." "Same show on the same day every year." "They say his daughter was in the show years ago." "Ladies, you're paid to dance, not to gossip." "♪ You sail to the sky ♪ the cowboy..." "have you found him?" "No." "The girl?" "Nothing." "Both of them..." "they're gone." "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ so forget this cruel world ♪" " Hey." " Hey." "Mind if I join you?" "Not at all." "How was your day?" "Let's talk about anything but that." "Like that girl Jolene." "What about her?" "Did, uh, did Ellie find her a place?" "I guess it's not happening." "She called me and left a message... said her fiancé got a job in Dayton." "Huh." "So, what..." "she's just..." "Gone?" "I guess so." "I'm kind of glad." "I saw the way she looked at you." "Come here." "Kiss me, "Tim," or whatever your name is." "♪ Lend a hand and lift me ♪" "♪ to your place ♪" "♪ in the cloud ♪" ""Donald, I want you to know that I do understand how you feel."" "From Mr. Reddington." ""There is nothing that can take the pain away."" ""But eventually, you will find a way to live with it."" ""There will be nightmares." ""And every day, when you wake up, it will be the first thing you think about."" ""Until one day..." "It will be the second thing.""

"Oi!" "Easy!" "Easy!" "Steady up!" "Hold on, mates." "He's almost up." "That's it." "Give it a big pull!" "That's it." "Don't drop him now." "Come on!" "Pull him over!" "Put your backs into it!" "Come on!" "There he goes." "Lots of life in him." "Give it up, Matey." "Good for ya." "That's what you get for your trouble." " Maybe he's just taking a long swim." " Yeah." "Or a short flight." "You an airman, Mate?" "Oi?" "No, he's not dressed like an airman." "What kind of uniform is that, then?" "Sprechen sie deutsche, jah?" "I say he's a rat and we throw him overboard like a rat." "Right." "Let's give him the heave-ho!" "Hey..." "How's about another dip in the Atlantic, huh, dirty Jerry?" "Even the sharks won't eat him." "Oi!" "What you got to say for yourself, Jerry, before we throw you back in?" "My name's not Jerry." "What's that?" "Eh?" "My name's Mulder." "Fox Mulder." "That a name?" "Mulder?" "I got ID in my pocket." ""Fox Mulder, Federal Bureau of Investigation." Sorry, mate, never heard of it!" " Never heard of it?" " Tell you what we do with foxes." "Care to know?" "You never heard of the FBI?" "Why don't you shut up, Jerry, before we change our minds here." " Where are you taking me?" " Where'd you pick up that accent?" "Probably in the Fuhrer's Secret Service." "Come on." " What are you talking about?" " I say we cut him open and see what color he bleeds." "Dirty Jerry." "Deutschland Uber Alles." ""Deutschland Uber Alles"?" "Wait a second." "Oi, how's about you shove a cork in it, mate." "All right?" "Eh?" "What's this about?" "Found him in the water, sir." "Don't know nothing about him." "I think he's a German." "Bring the prisoner in my room." "Friend or foe?" " What?" " To what flag do you pledge allegiance?" "I think there's been a mistake." "I think the mistake is mine." " Speak the truth, man." " This is the Queen Anne, isn't it?" "Hey, just about enough of that." "I came looking for this ship." "Say the word, Captain, I'll make him the first of the rest." " Hold on a second." "I think I can explain what's going on." " It's a ruse, Captain." "What's our current position?" " Cut the spy up." " I'll tell you." "I'll tell you..." "We're two degrees above the 30th parallel." "Sargasso Sea." "Just above the Tropic of Cancer." "64 degrees West by Southwest." "Off the Plantagenet bank 60 miles South-southwest off Bermuda." " How would I know that if I'd been in the water?" " Aye, that's a damn good question, lad." "I'm waiting for a damn good answer." "Tell me I'm wrong." "Tell me that you haven't been able to get accurate compass readings." "That navigation's been a real bitch." "It's because you've been caught in something called "The Devil's Triangle."" "I can show you on the chart here." "It goes from Bermuda down to Puerto Rico and back up to Florida." "The Queen Anne is stuck here on the Eastern edge of it." "You've been caught in some kind of time warp." "In some kind of limbo dimension and now you've popped out the other side into 1998." "1998?" "!" "This man is mad." "Let him tell it to the fishes." "I'm done fooling about, man." "There's a war on." "And in it or no, I don't plan to lose me mind nor me ship to the likes of a jackal like you." "You can relax." "There's no war going on." "The world is at peace." "There's a little trouble over at our White House but that'll blow over, so to speak." "Peace?" "It's September 3rd, 1939, man!" "Hitler has entered Poland." "And we've just been boarded by a bunch of his goose-stepping hooligans so don't speak to me of peace, lad." "Tell Mother England." "No, no." "It's not September 3rd." "It's November 16th." "Look." " Excuse me, captain." " Aye." "Sir, the Germans, sir." "They've taken control of the bridge." "Steering a course for their homeland." "Not on the watch of captain Yip Harburg, they're not." "Lock the prisoner up in here." "It's okay." "The war's over." "Let them take you to Germany." "They make nice cars." "This is unbelievable." "Mayday, mayday." "This is Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI." "I'm on the SS Queen Anne." "Ship in distress." "Mayday, mayday." "The British ambassador in Berlin handed the German government a final note stating that unless we heard from them that they are prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland a state of war would exist between us." "No such undertaking has been received." "Consequently, as of today, September 3, 1939 this country is at war with Germany." "Oh, sh..." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Closing of places of entertainment:" "All cinemas, theatres and other places of entertainment are to be closed immediately until further notice." "The evacuation of British children is going on smoothly and efficiently." "The ministry of health says that great progress..." "What the hell is going on?" "Spender?" "Hi." "Excuse me." "Scully?" "I suggest you get your Nazi paws off me before you get one in the kisser." " Scully, it's me, Mulder." " Oh, you speak English, do you?" "Well, how'd you like to see the stars on the American flag?" " I'm not a Nazi." " Oh, sure." "You just look like one, right?" "I had to steal this uniform." "Scully?" "Here is the man you want." "Halt!" "Hande hoch!" "Hande hoch!" "He said, "Put your hands up."" "You see, I told you." "Yeah, you're all big men now but wait until you get into Russia." "Hope you fellas like the cold." "Same to you, Adolf!" "Turn this ship in the direction of Germany or we will remove you from the wheel, understood?" "I'll not give up this ship!" "Show him what I mean." "You can put me down, man, but I'll not let go of this wheel so 'till we meet in hell..." "Shoot him." "No!" "You..." "Who is this man?" "He beat up one of my people and stole his uniform." "He is a spy." "Where are the weapons?" "No sprechen." "You have the weapons on board, no?" "I don't speak Nazi." "Shoot him also." "Wait a minute." "Why are you shooting me?" "Why are you killing me?" "What have I done?" "I don't understand what you're asking me." "Stop!" "Don't shoot!" "This man is American." "They say more people want to take part in the war..." "Bring him under." "Bring them all under." "Skinner?" "Where are they taking me?" "Help me, Skinner!" "What are you guys doing here?" " Mulder's in trouble." " Big trouble." " What do you mean?" " Let's take a walk." "Okay, where are we going?" " The walls have ears." " I have ears." "Will you tell me what's going on?" " Mulder's disappeared." " Disappeared from where?" "From the national reconnaissance office's lacrosse mid-latitude imaging radar satellite." " I don't understand." "What am I looking at?" " A whole lot of nothing." "We pulled that down 45 minutes ago off the NRO satellite, which early this morning sent a picture of a ship which inexplicably appeared in the middle of the Atlantic." "The SS Queen Anne which by all accounts vanished without a trace over sixty years ago." "The Queen Anne?" "The British luxury liner?" " That's correct." " It was torpedoed by a German U-boat." " That's one story." " There's another?" "Though her exact position was kept secret for fear spies might give her up to the Axis." "It's been reasonably determined that the Queen Anne was just south of the Plantagenet bank when she went missing." "Less than sixty feet of water yet she's never been found." " So you're saying the Queen Anne just disappeared." " Into the Bermuda triangle." "And reappeared this morning at 6:49 a.m. Eastern Standard Time." " That's impossible." " Satellite doesn't lie." " There's nothing on here." " We gave the original images to Mulder..." " ...so he could use them as navigational aids." " He was in a hurry." " To get where?" " Out to the Queen Anne before anyone else got there first." " He's gone out here?" " He went to Bermuda and chartered a powerboat out of Hamilton Harbor." "We tracked him on the satellite for an hour and a half." "Until a storm blew in and obscured all transmissions." " That's what you're holding." " What's happened to him?" "We can't know that." "Not without alternative tracking data." " Which is why we're here." " Without good data, all we can do is wait..." " ...and hope for the best." " Yeah, but expect the worst." " Well, we have to get help." " Without a position he's a needle in a haystack." "What do you need?" "Navy AWACS SLAR or SAR 100 K swath imaging." "You're going to have to find somebody at the Pentagon to get it." "Wait for me downstairs." "I need to speak with him." " Could you please take a seat?" " Is he in?" " Yes, he's on his phone." " Sorry, this can't wait." "Sir?" "Could you hold on a minute?" "What is it, Agent Scully?" "I just received some very disturbing information, sir." "I need your help." "I'll call you back in five." " You can't come rushing in here." " Sir, I couldn't waste time..." " ...explaining myself to your assistant." " Tell me what is so urgent." "It's about Agent Mulder." "He's done something incredibly rash." " I can't." " He may be lost at sea." " I can't, Agent Scully." " You can't what?" " I can't help you." "There's nothing I can do." " This isn't for me; it's for Agent Mulder." "My hands are tied." "I'm not your direct superior any longer." " Don't you want to know what this is about?" " No, I don't." "I don't even what to hear it." " Sir, this is about a man's life." " I'm not allowed to have contact with you..." " ...any contact with either you or Mulder." " She walked right past me, sir." " You're out of line, Scully." " No, sir, you're out of line." "I'm sorry, but I'm coming to you for help and I've got nowhere else to go." "I would hope that after everything that we have been through that you would at least have the courtesy and the decency and not to mention the respect to listen to what I have to say." "Now, all I need is information." "You don't have to do anything else." "Look, sir, if you know anybody at the Office of Naval Intelligence it would be of great help." "I could lose my job, my pension, I could even be subject to legal action." "Use your head, Scully." "It'll save your ass." "Save your own ass, sir." "You'll save your head along with it." "Sorry." "Yes, sir, I'll get those files and make that call and buzz you when I have him on the line." " I need a word with AD Kersh." " I'm sorry, he's not available." "Assistant Director Kersh, may I please have a moment of your time?" "A moment for what?" "Uh, may I, sir?" "Thank you." "Sir, I need you to get me some information." "I am not a liberty to say why but I can tell you it is of the utmost importance." "Yes?" "I, uh..." "Sorry." "I shouldn't have come unannounced." "May I see what you were going to show me, Agent Scully?" "Uh..." "It's nothing, really." "Good." "What am I thinking?" "What am I thinking?" "Sorry." "Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on." "Answer the phone, Mulder." "Answer the phone, answer the phone, answer the phone." "The cellular customer you are trying to reach is not responding or is..." "Damn." "I want you to do me a favor." "It's not negotiable." "Either you do it or I kill you." "You understand?" " You okay, Agent Scully?" " No, I'm not." "I'm a gun ready to go off so don't test me, Spender." "Don't even think about trying to weasel me." "What is it that you need?" "Navy AWACS SLAR 100 K swath." "South-southeast of Bermuda." "I am looking for a boat, maybe a ship." "1939 luxury liner." " 1939?" " Don't ask too many questions." "I don't care what you do or who you do or who you have to grease, I need that information and I need it now." "Are we clear on that?" "Crystal." "And, Agent Spender..." "If you're not back in a hurry I am going to hunt you down, and so help me God..." "Right." "Hello?" "Agent Fowley?" "Yes." "I was looking for Agent Spender." "I'm sorry, he's not here right now." "Is there something I can help you with?" "Yeah, Agent Scully just handed the Assistant Director a piece of paper with an intelligence system scribbled on it.." "Yes?" "Yes, sir?" "Who is this?" " Oh, Agent Scully." " I was just, uh..." " I was sent to come get you." " Yeah, I was waiting for Agent Spender, he was, uh..." " I'm supposed to pick up a delivery from him." " Agent Spender is with Assistant Director Kersh." "That rat bastard!" "Stupid!" "Scully." "Mulder?" "Is that you?" "No, I can't..." "I'm on an elevator." "Hold on, I'll be off in a s..." "Hold on." "Hello?" "No..." "I can't understand." "I can't..." " Was that you?" " Is it you?" "I've been trying to reach you." "I got the information you needed." "How?" "Don't even ask." " Sir, what you've done..." " Is save Mulder's ass." "I know." "And if you ever ask me to break policy or protocol I will have you written up, wrapped up and tossed out of the FBI for good." " Am I understood, Agent Scully?" " Yes." "Yes." "Did you get it?" "Yeah." "Oi..." "American, right?" "Saved your life, mate." "Krauts don't want no reason to bring you Yanks into the war." "I got two words for you, buddy..." "Pearl Harbor." "What?" "After Poland, Hitler's on his way to Denmark, Holland and France with a few stops in between." "The French all but roll over on us, the Italians seize their opportunity and the Japanese come through the back door." "It's a long, bloody story." "It fortunately has a happy ending." " We win?" " Yeah, you come out on the side of history with no small amount of help from us." "Not much to apologize over the next 50 years except for maybe the Spice Girls." "Go on already!" "Go!" "Well..." "According to our host this'll be our new accommodations, lads." "You speak German." "What was that shouting about up there?" "They got it in mind that we left America carrying arms to England." " Are we?" " Listen, she's drawing 16 feet at 81,000 tons." "We're making 21 knots at full power." "If we got munitions aboard this ship, mate, they don't weigh but a few stone." "But the Captain knew something." "He wouldn't give up the wheel." "The Nazis boarded us after they intercepted a radio communication..." "Some kind of code word they keep asking about." "Thor's Hammer." "You know what that is, mate?" "Who go there?" "I said, "who goes there?"" "Show your faces or we'll bloody beat them to a stub." "Put your irons down, boys." "It's your own crew, for God's sake." "What're you doing down here?" "We're having a cup of tea." "What's it look like, you stupid swabbo?" " Then who's steering the boat?" " Oh, just some blokes who answer to the name of Heil Hitler." "You ever been to Germany, swabbo?" "They'll have a special affection for the likes of you." " Yeah, right." " Hey, this ship can't go to Germany." " Make up your mind, mate." " They cant happen." "I got news for you, you're not carrying munitions." "It's something far more deadly." " Thor's Hammer?" " Thor's Hammer isn't a weapon." "It's a man, a man who will help build a weapon, a bomb that'll win the war for whoever has it." " And you're telling me he's aboard this ship?" " I saw him in the ballroom." "His name is Thor's Hammer." "He has a plan to build a bomb." "Goodbye, mates." "What's wrong with you?" "!" "Don't you know there are spies everywhere?" "!" "Trust no one, mon!" "Look, we've got to stop this ship... now!" "All right, lads, let's go!" "Hey, hey, who's in charge of this engine room?" "Oi, you!" "I'm talking to you." "Shut her down, man." "We got to scuttle her now!" "Put some piss into her, boys." "Hey, you heard him... kill the engines!" "There's no other way, swabbo." " You can't get to Germany if you can't steer." " Me overriding her." "We steering a course for home." "Have you looked at your compass?" "You can't get to England going the wrong bloody direction." "We're not going to England." "We're going to Jamaica." "Yeah!" "Listen, you steer her home, you bloody ruffo, to her home where she belongs!" "Listen to me!" "Listen to me!" "You can't take this ship to England." "You'll never make it." "What are you talking about?" "I'm in charge of the wheel!" " There's only one place she's going, Yank." " Jamaica!" "Yeah!" "You can't take the ship to Jamaica, either." "The Germans will hunt you down no matter what course you steer." "No!" "No!" "Hear it out." "Hear it out." "Hear it out." " And who you be, boy?" " My name's Mulder." " He wants to go back to bloody America." " No, I want you to take this ship and turn it back around the way you came." "No!" "No!" " Bloody hell, we're halfway home!" " You've got to turn the ship around." " And what's in that direction?" " The future." "What?" "Actually, the past." " Oh, well, I'm convinced." " Well, I can explain it to you." "You!" "The American." "You come with us, up here." "Yes, come with?" "Turn the ship around or Hitler rises, Germany wins and your children will never know what freedom is!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stand still!" "Stand still or I shoot!" "Stand still!" "Attention!" "Get up!" "There's a scientist on board who can make a bomb." "Who is this man?" "I don't know." "Weapon ready." "Tell him..." "We will kill one passenger for every wrong answer." "You will answer the question or we will begin killing passengers." "Which one is the scientist?" "I don't know." "Shoot him." "Ask him how many people he will let die?" "How many lives are you willing to sacrifice?" "None." "Then you have the answer." "He hesitates to name him." "Shoot again." "Stop!" "This man has no answers." "You're killing innocent people to learn that he knows nothing!" "Shut up." "Shut up and move away." "Listen to me, you little weasel..." "We have our next passenger, a lady." "Aim the weapon at her." "Kill her, if he does not answer the question." "Answer the question." "I'll answer the question." "Answer the question." "That man is the scientist." "Hey, Scully, you're not going to believe this." "Get up here." "What?" "The sky just cleared and there it was." "Is it the Queen Anne?" "That's her." "I don't believe it." "Seeing is believing." "They've got power." "Maybe Mulder's already on board." "Let's hope he is." "You're lying." " He's telling the truth." " Shut up!" " Who is the scientist?" " I told you, this man is the scientist." "Officer!" "What is the man's name?" "John Brown." " Ask me again, and I'll knock you down." " What's his name?" "!" "Puddintame." "Ask me again and I'll tell you the same." "Wait." "Don't shoot." " I'm the scientist." " This man's a liar." "I'm the scientist." "Please... tell them the truth before someone else has to die." " I don't know this man." " Please don't listen to her." "She's traveling with me to protect me." "She works for the OSS." "That's great." "I don't see you did any better." "Kill them first." "Kill them all." "What'd he say?" "Uh..." "I think I know what he said." "You learn fast." "What's happening?" "The engines shut down." "Hey!" "Hey, what?" " Come with me." " Why should I?" "Cause you're the only one who can save this ship." "Come on." "Stand still!" "Stand still." "Or I will shoot you." "Hands up..." "Behind your heads." "Do it!" "Now what, Einstein?" "Do it!" "God bless America." "Now get your asses out of here." "Byers?" "Langly?" "Frohike?" "Come on..." "Come on!" "There you guys are." " What are you doing?" "!" " I'm going to tell you how to save this ship." " Out here?" " I can't stay." "I got to get back to history." " What?" " And you got to rescue it." "Wait." "Listen to me." "This ship's been caught in something called the devil's triangle." "It's some kind of time warp... a rift in space." " Are you crazy?" " You know Einstein, right?" "He predicts the theoretical possibility." "He also predicts an atomic weapon that will destroy the world." "Yeah?" "So what?" "If you don't go back and convince the crew of this ship to turn this ship around and head back into the devil's triangle everything Einstein predicted will become true except for the outcome of history." "So, if I don't turn this ship around...?" "In all likelihood, I won't exist." "And neither will you." "Okay..." "So, in case we never meet again..." "I was expecting a left." "Hey!" "Mulder?" "Mulder, it's me." " Where am I?" " You're in a hospital." " Lie still." " I feel..." "Like hell." "I don't blame you." "You've been through the wringer, I'd say." "What happened to me?" "You did something incredibly stupid." "What did I do?" "You went looking for a ship, Mulder." "In the Bermuda Triangle." " Say that again?" " Gilligan awakes." "You were there." " You were there, Scully." " He's delirious." " And he was there, too." " Right..." "Me and my dog Toto." " No, you were there with the Nazis." " Mulder, will you settle down?" "It's an order." "Not that he takes orders..." " You saved the world, Scully." " Yeah..." "You're right." "I did." " What kind of drugs is he on?" " I want some." "No, no, no..." "The Queen Anne..." "I found it." "You were there with Thor's Hammer." "I told you you had to turn the ship around and then I jumped overboard." "Yeah, I bet you did." "The boat that you were on was busted into a million pieces." "And as for the Queen Anne it was nothing more than a ghost ship." "No, no, no." "You and I were on that ship, Scully." "In 1939." "Get some rest, Mulder, 'cause when you get out of here I'm going to kick your butt but good." "I would've never seen you again." "But you believed me." "In your dreams." "Mulder, I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think to yourself "there's no place like home."" "Hey, Scully." "Yes?" "I love you." "Oh, brother..."

"Inside a snowflake, like the one on yoursleeve there happened a story you mustsee to believe." "Way up in the mountains, in the high range of Pontoos lay the small town of Whoville:" "The home of the Whos." "Ask any Who, and they'll have this to say:" ""There is no place like Whoville around Christmas Day."" "Every window was flocked, every lamppost was dressed and the Whoville band marched in their Christmasy best." "Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas!" "Arbor Day was fine, and Easter was pleasant and every Saint Fizzin's day, they ate a Fizz pheasant." "But every Who knew, from their twelve toes to theirsnout they loved Christmas the most, without a single Who doubt." "Farfingle's welcomes you!" "Thank you." "Merry Christmas!" "Thank you for shopping Farfingle's!" "We got a snoozlephone for your brother Drew and a snoozlephone for your brother Stu, a muncie for your uncle a fant for your aunt and a fandpa for your cousin Leon." "So, we just need...." "Cindy?" "Sale on Aisle 3!" "Cindy Lou!" "Merry Christmas." "Hello, Myrna." "Merry Christmas, Fred." "Excuse me." "Cindy Lou?" "Honey?" "Dad?" "Yeah?" "Doesn't this seem like a bit much?" "This is what Christmas is all about!" "Can't you feel it?" "Merry Christmas!" "Thank you for shopping Farfingle's." "Wait a second!" "Your change!" "Another minute closer to Christmas!" "And, for the next five minutes only, 99 percent off!" "Yes, every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot but the Grinch, who livedjust north of Whoville did not." "Get on it, girls." "All the good mistletoe's at the top." "Hey, Drew, I'll race you!" "Notif I race you first." "Last one to the top is a stinky old Grinch!" "You guys, where are we?" "I think we should go back." "What?" "You're scared of the Grinch!" "No!" "They say he lives up here in a big cave." "And only comes down when he's hungry for the taste of..." "..." "Who flesh!" "Drew!" "You're scared of the Grinch!" "You're scared of the Grinch!" "Are too!" "Am not!" "Wait for me!" "Go on, touch it." "Touch the door." "Do it for me, Stu." "Well done, Max!" "Serves them right, those Yuletide-loving sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers!" "I really don't like them." "No, I don't." "Max!" "Get my cloak!" "I've been much too tolerant of these Whovenile delinquents and their innocent, victimless pranks." "So, they want to get to know me, do they?" "They want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch." "I guess I could use a little social interaction." "Merry Christmas!" "Yeah, you bet." "Ho, ho, ho, and stuff." "Oh, my." "Someone has vandalized that vehicle." "You see, Max?" "The city is a dangerous place." "The Grinch hated Christmas." "The whole Christmas season." "Top of the day." "Flatfoot." "Now, please, don't ask why." "No one quite knows the reason." "Here's a present for you." "Be sure to run real fast with it." "Come on." "Double time." "Move." "It could be that his head wasn'tscrewed on just right." "Orit could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight." "But I think that the mostlikely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small." "Stranger, won't let you go till you buy a chapeau!" "Boy, nothing beats Christmas, right?" "I guess." "You guess?" "It's just, I look around at you and Mom and everyone getting all kerbobbled." "Doesn't this seem superfluous?" "Dad!" "Dad!" "What happened to you?" "lt was the Grinch!" "Grinch?" "What do you want?" "I mean...." ""Grinch?" "Oh, no!"" "Did someone just say, "Grinch"?" "Hello, Mayor May-Who, sir." "Lou." "I don't need to remind you that this Christmas marks the one thousandth Whobilation." "Whoville's most important celebration!" "And The Book of Who says, very clearly:" ""Every size of Who we can measure..." ""...knows that Whobilation is a time we must treasure."" "Now, Lou, please tell me that your boys were not up on Mount Crumpit provoking the one creature within a billion bilometers of here who hates Christmas!" "But it was the Grinch!" "No, sir, the boys didn't see any Grinch." "It was, and he came after-- l think they were up on the mountain playing with matches, or defacing public property, or...." "That's a relief." "All right, you heard the man:" "There is no Grinch problem here." "l need it there by tomorrow." "Heck of a rush." "Merry Christmas, Mo." "Heck of a rush." "But, Dad I just don't understand something." "Why won't anyone talk about the Grinch?" "You kids and the Grinch!" "You see, Cindy, the Grinch is a Who, who always...." "Actually, not a Who." "He's more of a...." "A what?" "Exactly, honey." "And he's a What who doesn't like Christmas." "Take a look at his mailbox, sweetie." "Not a single Christmas card, in or out." "Ever!" "But why?" "Lou, where's my mail?" "Lou!" "Got the wrong mail here." "Lou!" "I got the wrong mail!" "l'll be right there." "Lou, we got a problem!" "All right, we'll straighten this out." "It'll take them years to sort this out." "This is his and now it's yours, and this hers and now it's his!" "And for the rest of you:" "Jury duty!" "Jury duty!" "Jury duty!" "Blackmail." "Pink slip." "Chain letter." "Eviction notice." "Jury duty!" "Would you mind helping me take this to the back room, honey?" "Be careful of the sorting machine, right?" "Yeah." "Gesundheit." "You're the...." "The...." "The Grinch!" "That worked out nicely." "Help!" "Help me!" "Somebody!" "Max, let's go." "Our work here is finished." "Help me!" "Please help!" "That is not a chew toy!" "Stop it, Max!" "Get that out of your mouth!" "You have no idea where it's been!" "Help!" "Bleeding hearts of the world, unite!" "There!" "Give me that!" "Don't you know you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you?" "What's your problem?" "Are you a wild animal?" "Let's go." "Thanks for saving me." "Saving you?" "is that what you think I was doing?" "Wrong-o." "I merely noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear." "Hold still!" "Max, pick out a bow." "Can I use your finger for a second?" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Cindy?" "Dad!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" "What the hey...?" "Honey." "Cindy?" "Dad!" "It was amazing!" "You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping!" "I am so proud of you." "Now, that's holiday." "Sweetlittle Cindy didn't know what to do." "In her head, bum-tumbled a conflict or two." ""If the Grinch was so bad, then why did he save me?" ""Maybe he wasn'tso bad."" "Maybe." "Just maybe." "No lights on in the house." "Your mom must be shopping." "Good, I'm so glad you're home." "I can feel it, Lou." "This is the year." "When everybody asks who has the most spectacular lights in greater Whoville they're gonna cry out, "Mrs. Betty Lou Who!"" "Isn't this the chandelier from the dining room?" "It's all for the cause, dear." "And Cindy?" "Could you be Mommy's little helper and unscrew the bulb there from the refrigerator?" "'Cause somehow I missed that one." "Go on!" "Every year Martha May Whovier has the best lights." "Not this year." "This year I'm gonna beat that prim, perfect little prissy" "Betty!" "Hi!" "Martha!" "My, I've never seen so many beautiful Christmas lights, Betty Lou!" "I'd blow every fuse if I tried to keep up with you, Martha May!" "Isn't this antique darling?" "It's handcrafted and almost 100 years old." "Jeez. I'm really impressed!" "This, however, is new." "Betty!" "Sweetie!" "Good night, Betty." "l got it!" "Honey, I've got it." "Hello?" "is my sub-zero chillibrator running?" "l suppose." "You better go catch it!" "That's a good one!" "That is rich." "Let's go home." "Fleas before beauty." "Thank you." "Come on, hurry up, Slowpoke." "There's got to be a better way!" "A car would have paid for itself by now!" "Goody." "Another load coming down." "What's that stench?" "It's fantastic!" "Max!" "Grab a bag." "We'll come back for the rest." "Of course, when I say "we," l mean "you."" "It's amazing what these Whos just throw away." "Oh, well." "One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri." "I don't know. lt's some kind of soap." ""Where are you, Christmas?" ""Why can't I find you?" ""Why have you gone away?" ""My world is changing" ""l'm rearranging" ""Does that mean Christmas" ""changes too?" ""Where are you, Christmas?" ""Do you remember" ""The girl you used to know?" ""You and I were so carefree" ""Now nothing's easy" ""Did Christmas change" ""Or just" ""me?"" "Sweet!" ""Be it ever so" ""Heinous" ""There's no place like home"" "First floor, factory rejects." "Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max!" "But we did our worst." "And that's all that matters." "At least I scared the bejeebles out of that little girl at the post office." "She'll be scarred for life, if we're lucky." "Funny she didn't rat on us, though." "Must be afraid of reprisals." "Yes!" "Down a size and a half!" "And this time, I'll keep it off." "Get the stick, Max." "Get the stick!" "There's no stick!" "I'm smarter." "Any calls?" "You have no messages." "Odd." "Better check the outgoing." "Ifyou utterso much as one syllable I'll huntyou down and gutyou like a fish!" "Ifyou'd like to fax me, press the star key." "Oh, well." "That's more like it." "Excellent year." "I'll tell you, Max I don't know why I ever leave this place." "I've got all the company I need right here." "Hello!" "Hello!" "How are you?" "How are you?" "I asked you first." "I asked you first." "That's really mature, saying exactly what I say!" "Mature...exactly...what I say...." "l'm an idiot!" "You're an idiot!" "All right, fine." "I'm not talking to you anymore." "In fact, I'm going to whisper." "So that by the time my voice reverberates off the walls and gets back to me I won't be able to hear it!" "You're an idiot!" "Am I just eating because I'm bored?" "Who could that be?" "Hello, little girl." "Are you here to read to us?" "No." "I hear you know some things about the Grinch." "Cindy Lou had some questions in her curious heart." "Why did the Grinch hate Christmas?" "Where did it all start?" "With her dad's blabbacorder she wouldn't give an inch." "In your own words, please tell me everything you know about the Grinch." "Where did he come from?" "He came the way all Who babies come." "On calm nights baby Who girls and tiny Who fellas drift from the sky in their own pumbersellas." "Hey, honey, our baby is here!" "He looks just like your boss." "So that's how it works." "It was Christmas Eve, and a strange wind blew that night." "We were having our annual holiday get-together." "It was morning before anybody realized that he was out there!" "The poor dear!" "But, you know what?" "We knew right away that he was special." "Do you want a Christmas cookie?" "Yes, which Christmas cookie would you like?" "Santa." "His first words!" "Yes, that is a Santa plate." "Do you want to hold this Santa plate?" "Santa, bye-bye!" "He was a wonderful whatever he was." "And we raised him like any other Who child:" "With a deep love of Christmas." "Don't forget, tomorrow is our big Christmas gift exchange." "Everyone bring a special gift for a special someone." "The Grinch...." "He had no sense of color coordination." "Although I hardly remember him." "I didn't have time to socialize." "I was far too busy with my studies." "Now, class, is everyone almost finished?" "And if the truth be told, he...." "He liked Martha." "Martha was my girlfriend." "I don't like discussing this Grinch so very close to Christmas, but maybe if you hear the truth, you'll understand why" "Put your back into it!" "I tried to take him under my wing." "You don't have a chance with her." "You're 8 years old and you have a beard!" "He had hair." "Not pleasant." "He shed." "Not right." "You know, Christmas is my favorite time of year." "I just love the colors." "The red and the green." "Did I have a crush on the Grinch?" "Of course not." "I didn't ask you that." "Right." "Forsome reason, when he came home that day he really gotinto the Christmas spirit for the first time." "Perfect!" "Whoopsie!" "What a lovely family heirloom!" "The fires of love!" "This will be perfect on the top of her tree." "Oh, Martha!" "Oh, Christmas!" "I wantyou all to look your best tomorrow." "You don't have a chance with her." "You're 8 years old and you have a beard!" "Has everyone given their gifts?" "l haven't." "What?" "Merry Christmas, Martha May." "Why do you have a bag on your head?" "Probably because he's embarrassed by that hideodorous gift." "Mr. Grinch please take the bag off." "Yes, you." "Take it off." "Put the book down." "And your foot." "Look at that hack job!" "Stupid present!" "Stupid tree!" "I hate Christmas!" "The anger." "The fury!" "The muscles!" "It was a horrible day when they were so cruel to him." "And I could hardly bear it." "I hate Christmas!" "I hate it!" "And that was the last time we eversaw him." "The very last time." "So, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes he stood outside his cave hating the Whos." "Alphabetically." "Aardvarkian Abakenezer Who I hate you!" "Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate you." "Hate, hate, hate." "Hate, hate, hate." "Double hate." "Loathe entirely!" "Nutcrackers?" "It's their Whobilation." "He snarled with a sneer." "Tomorrow is Christmas!" "It's practically here." "Max!" "Fetch me my sedative." "Now to take care of those pesky memories." ""Whobilation, plentiful with candy canes and pies" ""l can't wait to get there to eat some google fries" ""Whobilation, Whobilation"" "Dad?" "Yeah." "I've been thinking about the Whobilation and I may do something drastic." "That's fine, dear." "Ask your mother." "Where did she go?" "Honey!" "Honey!" "Hi!" "Look, I just found the cutest light for my Christmas display." "Hurry up, we're gonna be late." "Come on." "And now, the nominations for that Who among us who best typifies the qualities of Whodom and Whodery the Whoville holiday cheermeister!" "Do I hear a nomination?" "I nominate the Grinch!" "The Grinch?" "The Grinch?" "My, my, my." "What an altruistic daughter you have there, Lou!" "Thank you." "Cindy?" "Let me quote a verse from The Book of Who." "Thank you." ""The term 'Grinchy' shall apply when Christmas spirit is in short supply."" "Now, I ask you:" "Does that sound like our holiday cheermeister?" "True, Mr. May-Who." "But The Book of Who says this too:" ""No matter how different a Who may appear..." ""...he will always be welcomed with holiday cheer."" "Yes, the book also says, the...." ""The award..." ""...cannot go to the Grinch, because..." ""...sometimes things get the lead-pipe cinch."" "You made that up!" "It doesn't say that." "No, it does." "What page?" "Lost my place, but it's.... lt's in here!" "But the book does say:" ""The cheermeister is the one who deserves a back slap or a toast." ""And it goes to the soul at Christmas who needs it most."" "And I believe that soul is the Grinch." "And if you're the Whos I hope you are, you will too." "She's right!" "Fine." "You people want to waste a perfectly good nomination why, it's up to you." "But I am telling you the Grinch will never come down." "And when he doesn't, the Mayor will wear the crown." "Well, more or less." ""Deck your heart with jollity" ""Style yoursmile all Christmasy" ""Flick some flocking on the tree" ""Let there be Whobilation" ""Bake the fruitcake, egg the nog" ""Feed the flaming Wholtide log" ""Baste the beast and gulp the grog" ""Let there be Whobilation" ""Tick, tock, tick, tock" ""Counting down the Christmas clock" ""Old, young, big, small"" "Blast this Christmas music." "It's joyful and triumphant." "Must drown them out!" "Not working!" "The whipperwinds whipped high above the Who town." "A trip or a slip you'd slide all the way down." "But this girl had a mission." "She knew what to do." "She'd invite the Grinch herself, that brave Cindy Lou." "Play, monkey!" "Play!" "Howdy?" "Mr. Grinch?" "Mr. Grinch!" "Hello?" "Excuse me." "Hello little girl." "How dare you enter the Grinch's lair?" "The impudence!" "The audacity!" "The unmitigated gall!" "You called down the thunder now, get ready for the boom!" "Gaze into the face of fear!" "Mr. Grinch my name is Cindy Lou Who." "You see?" "Even now the terror is welling up inside you." "I'm not scared." "Denial is to be expected in the face of pure evil." "I don't think so." "Doubt?" "Another unmistakable sign of the heebie-jeebies!" "Now you're doomed!" "Run for your life before I kill again!" "I'm a psycho!" "Danger!" "Danger!" "Maybe you need a time-out." "Kids today." "So desensitized by movies and television." "What do you want?" "Mr. Grinch, I came to invite you to be holiday cheermeister." ""Holiday Whobie-what-y"?" "Cheermeister." ""Cheermeister." "Celebrate with friends."" "That's a good one." "I know you hate Christmas, but what if it's all just a misunderstanding?" "Don't care." "l myself am having some Yuletide doubts." "But maybe if you reunite with the Whos and be a part of Christmas" ""Maybe if you reunite with the Whos and be a part of Christmas."" "Grow up!" "Then maybe it'll be all right for me, too!" "I'm sorry, your session is over." "Please make another appointment with the receptionist on the way out." "Please, please." "You have to accept the award." "Award?" "You never mentioned an award!" "Yeah, with a trophy and everything." "And I won?" "You won!" "That means there were losers." "l guess." "So, if you come" "A town full of losers!" "I like it." "Was anyone emotionally shattered?" "Come on, a minute ago I couldn't shut you up!" "Details, details!" "The Mayor wasn't happy." "Oh, no." "Martha May will be there." "She will?" "And she'll see me." "A winner." "She'll be on me like fleegle flies on a flat-faced floogle horse." "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Martha, baby, but the G train has left the station." "So, will you come?" "All right." "I don't know if it's that adorable twinkle in your eye or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger, less hairy me." "But you've convinced me." "Who knows?" "This Whobilation could change my entire outlook on life!" "Really?" "No." "There you are, honey." "You can make snow angels later." "We can't be late for the Whobilation!" "The nerve of those Whos." "lnviting me down there on such short notice." "Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it." ""4:00, wallow in self-pity." ""4:30, stare into the abyss." ""5:00, solve world hunger..." ""...tell no one." ""5:30, jazzercise." ""6:30, dinner with me." l can't cancel that again." ""7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing."" "I'm booked." "If I bumped the loathing to 9:00, I 'd have time to lay in bed stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness." "But what would I wear?" "It's not a dress, it's a kilt!" "Sicko!" "Stupid." "Ugly." "Out of date." "This is ridiculous." "If I can't find something nice to wear, I'm not going!" "That's it, I'm not going." "It's time for our Holiday Cheermeister of the YearAward!" "Congratulations, Mr. Grinch!" "He isn't here." "What?" "He didn'tshow?" "Who could have predicted this?" "All right. I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me grab a handful of popcorn shrimp, and blow out of there." "But what if it's a cruel prank?" "What if it's a cash bar?" "How dare they?" "All right, I'll go." "But I'll be fashionably late." "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "No!" "Yes!" "Definitely not!" "All right. I've made my decision!" "I'm going, and that's that." "Had my fingers crossed." "Maybe I should flip a coin!" "I guess the award goes to the runner-up." "That's right." "A man for whom Christmas comes not once a year but every minute of every day." "A handsome, noble man." "A man who has had his tonsils removed twice!" "That's an interesting story." "You see, what happened was" "Hello, Martha." "He made it!" "Cindy." "Honey!" "Look" "Hot crowd." "Hot crowd." "I believe I'm here to accept an award of some kind." "And the child mentioned a check." "No, I didn't." "All right, then, give me the award." "Come on, while I'm young!" "Don'tyou worry, Mr. Holiday Cheermeister, you'll getyour award." "But first, a little family reunion." "They nursed you." "They clothed you." "Here they are your old biddies!" "Are you two still living?" "We missed you!" "Rose." "The sweater." "The sweater, Rose." "Sweater?" "What are you talkin' about?" "No, I can't!" "I can't do that!" "Don't touch me there!" "Put him in the Chair of Cheer!" "Chair of Cheer?" "What's the Chair of Cheer?" "You didn't tell me about the Chair of Cheer." "Please, Mr. Grinch." "No. I can't do it, honestly." "I'm not ready. lt's too much, too soon!" "It's that time ofyear." "The Cheermeister's ride in the Chair of Cheer!" "Put me down!" "I mean it!" "I've got a lawyer." "There'll be hell to pay!" "First, you'll put your taste buds to the test as you judge the Who pudding cook-off!" "Mine first." "l really don't know" "No, mine's the best!" "You'll enjoy this!" "This is not pudding." "What is it?" "This is mine." "Yummy, yummy, yummy." "Christmas conga!" "Look at the time." "I really should be getting back." "All right!" "Fruitcake, tra-la-la!" "No." "Fudge Judge." "Made it myself." "Yeah?" "Mine are homemade too." "Okay." "Put it in." "Bring it on!" "is that all you got?" "is that all you got?" "Come on." "Out of the way, slow-mo!" "Excuse me." "He's number one in the sack race run!" "Number one!" "I'm number one!" "I'm number one!" "No child can beat the Grinch!" "I beat you." "He won!" "And now it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for." "Yes!" "My award." "Write the check." "There's no check." "Are you sure?" "Because I thought I heard someone mention a check." "I said, there's no check." "And now it's time for Present Pass-it-on!" "As always, we start with our Cheermeister." "The gift of a Christmas shave." "Look at that hackjob!" "Yes, yes, yes." "Good times!" "Good times." "And now, I have a little something for the love of my life." "Martha May please become Mrs. Augustus May-Who." "Augustus.... lf you agree to be my wife along with a lifetime supply of happiness, you'll also receive this:" "It's a new car!" "Generously provided by the taxpayers of Whoville!" "What do you say, Martha?" "You got 20 seconds on the clock." "I...." "These gifts are quite dazzling." "Of course they are." "That's what it's all about, isn't it?" "That's what it's always been about!" "Gifts!" "Gifts." "Gifts, gifts, gifts." "You want to know what happens to your gifts?" "They all come to me. ln your garbage." "You see what I'm saying?" "In your garbage!" "I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump!" "And the avarice." "The avarice never ends!" ""l want golf clubs." "l want diamonds."" ""l want a pony, so I can ride it twice, get bored, and sell it to make glue."" "Look, I don't want to make waves, but this whole Christmas season is stupid, stupid, stupid!" "There is, however one teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful." "Mistletoe." "Now, pucker up and kiss it, Whoville!" "Somebody's fabulous!" "All right, your turn!" "Go on!" "Let's go!" "No!" "Excuse me, old-timer." "Mind if I wet my whistle?" "That's my good stuff!" "Burn, baby!" "Burn!" "The Whomanity!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "No, wait!" "Do something." "Right!" "Calling all units." "Calling all units." "Taxi!" "It's because I'm green, isn't it?" "Halt!" "Evening, folks." "Mind if I ride along?" "You might want to scooch over." "You did the right thing." "Out of the way!" "That's gonna hurt in the morning." "It's gonna blow!" "You fellas all right?" "How about a nice hat?" "Lou?" "I'm hurt, Lou." "I'm hurt, and I don't hurt easily." "But you and your family...." "l'm so disappointed." "Can we just get back to Christmas the way it should be?" "Grinch-less?" "Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas!" "I just wanted everybody to be together for Christmas." "I quite enjoyed that." "I hope I get another invite soon." "Come on, come on!" "Good thing we have a spare." "Suffering snorkelblatz!" "They're relentless!" "Only four hours till Christmas!" "Yes, the Grinch knew tomorrow all the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early and rush for their toys." "And then, the noise!" "The noise, noise, noise!" "They'll bang on tong-tinglers." "They'll blow their floo-flounders." "They'll crash on jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bounders!" "Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast." "And they'll feast and they'll feast." "And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!" "They'll eat their Who pudding." "And rare Who roast beast!" "But there's something I just cannot stand in the least." "Oh, no." "I'm speaking in rhyme!" "Blast you Whos!" "And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring the more the Grinch thought:" "I must stop this whole thing." "Why, for year after year I've put up with it now!" "I must stop this Christmas from coming!" "But how?" "I mean, in what way?" ""Christmas is goin' to the dogs" ""We're scoffing down the turkey and the grog" ""Things are looking very good, it's true"" "Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas?" "Wrong-o!" "If you're not going to help me then you might as well...." "Then he got an idea." "An awful idea." "The Grinch got a wonderful awful idea." "I know just what to do." "The Grinch laughed in his throat." "And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat." "And he chuckled and clucked at this great Grinchy trick." "With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick." ""You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch" ""You really are a heel" ""You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel" ""Mr. Grinch" ""You're a bad banana" ""With a greasy black peel" ""Just face the music, you're a monster" ""Mr. Grinch, yes, you are" ""Your heart's an empty hole" ""Your brain is full ofspiders You got garlic in yoursoul" ""Mr. Grinch" ""I wouldn't touch you with a" ""thirty-nine-and-a-half footpole"" "I asked for three-quarters, not five-eighths." "Stay focused!" ""You know, ifyou asked the who's who of Whoville" ""No one would deny it"" "Air bag is a little slow." "But that's what these tests are for!" ""You're a vile one" ""Mr. Grinch" ""You have termites in yoursmile" ""You have all the tendersweetness Of a seasick crocodile" ""Mr. Grinch" ""Given the choice between you" ""l'd take the seasick crocodile"" "Fat boy should be finishing up anytime now." "Talk about a recluse." "He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it!" "Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes." "Merry Christmas!" "Oopsie." "Forgot about the reindeer." "Did thatstop the old Grinch?" "No." "The Grinch simply said:" "If I can't find a reindeer I'll make one instead." "Oh, Max!" "So he called his dog Max and he took some red thread and tied a big horn on top of his head." "All right." "You're a reindeer." "Here's your motivation." "You're Rudolph, a freak with a red nose, nobody likes you." "Then one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas." "No, forget that part." "We'll improvise." "Just keep it kind of loosey-goosey." "You hate Christmas!" "You're gonna steal it!" "Saving Christmas was a lousy ending." "Way too commercial." "Action!" "Brilliant!" "You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism!" "Why didn't I think of that?" "Cut, print, check the gate." "Moving on." "That feels good." "Here goes nothin', hot dog!" "Wow!" "This is nuts!" "On, Crasher!" "On, Thrasher!" "On, Vomit and Blitzkrieg!" "We're gonna die!" "We're gonna die!" "I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die!" "Mommy, tell it to stop!" "Almost lost my cool there." "All their windows were dark." "Quietsnow filled the air." "All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first little house on the square." "Welcome to Whoville, Max." "Betty?" "Betty?" "What?" "Did you hear something?" "It's Santa!" "Go right back to sleep." "Come on, Max. lt's our first stop." "The old Grinchy Claus hissed." "And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist." "He'd slide down the chimney." "A rather tightpinch." "Butif Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch." "He's planning a double-twisting interrupted forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and pike." "High degree of difficulty." "He gotstuck only once, for a moment or two." "Blasted water weight!" "Goes right to my hips." "Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue." "A little more stealth, please." "Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row." "These stockings he grinned are the first thing to go." "Okay, fellas." "Show time." "Then he slunk to the icebox." "Slunk?" "He eyed the Whos' feast." "He took the Who pudding." "He took the roast beast." "Hike!" "He cleaned out thaticebox as quick as a flash." "Why, that Grinch, he even took theirlast can of Who hash." "Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee." "And now grinned the Grinch I'll stuff up the tree." "And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove." "Excuse me." "The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water." "Santa Claus?" "What are you doing with our tree?" "But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick he thought up a lie, and he thoughtit up quick." "Why my sweet little tot." "The fake Santa Claus lied." "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side." "So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear." "I'll fix it up there and I'll bring it back here." "Santa, what's Christmas really about?" "Vengeance!" "I mean presents I suppose." "I was afraid of that." "And his fib fooled the child." "Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed." "Santa?" "What?" "Don't forget the Grinch." "I know he's mean and hairy and smelly." "His hands might be cold and clammy." "But I think he's actually kind of sweet." "Sweet?" "You think he's sweet?" "Merry Christmas, Santa." "And when Cindy Lou went up with her cup..." "Nice kid." "Bad judge of character." "...he went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up." "And the last thing he took was the log for their fire." "On their walls he left nothing butsome hooks and some wire." "And the one speck of food that he'd leftin the house was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse." "Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant around each Who home, and he took every present." "Clearance sale." "Everything must go." "What now?" "Martha have you ever kissed a man who lost his tonsils twice?" "No, silly!" "But it's an experience that I've always longed for." "Kiss me, you fool!" "What are you laughing at Rudolph?" "It's all you, Maxie!" "3,000 feet up, up the side of Mount Crumpit he rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it." "We did it!" "We did it!" "We did it!" "That wasn't so bad, was it, Max?" "They'll be waking up now." "And I know just what they'll do." "All those Whos down in Whoville will all cry." "What an embarrassment!" "I've been robbed!" "Mayor May-Who?" "Oh, dear." "I wonder who could have done this." "Tell you people one thing:" "Invite the Grinch destroy Christmas." "Invite the Grinch destroy Christmas!" "But did anyone listen to me?" "l did." "No." "You choose to listen to a little not-to-be-taken-seriously girl who hasn't even grown into her nose yet." "Cindy, I hope you're very proud of what you've done." "If she isn't, I am." "I'm glad he took our presents." "What?" "l...." "l'm glad." "He's glad." "You're glad." "You're glad everything is gone." "You're glad that the Grinch virtually wrecked...." "No, not wrecked, pulverized Christmas." "is that what I'm hearing?" "You can't hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor because it isn't about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights." "That's what Cindy's been trying to tell everyone." "And me." "She's been trying to tell me." "What is wrong with you?" "This is a child." "She's my child." "And she happens to be right, by the way." "I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here, my family." "Merry Christmas, everybody!" "Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas, you hunk of burning' Who!" "Give me a break." "Merry Christmas!" "Mr. Grinch?" "Mr. Grinch?" "Now for the final note in my symphony of downright nasty not-niceness!" "The crescendo of my odious opus!" "The wailing and the gnashing of teeth." "The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out!" "It'll be like music to my ears!" "Then the Grinch heard a sound rising over the snow." "Itstarted in low." "Then itstarted to grow." "But the sound wasn'tsad." "Why, this sounded merry." "Butit was merry." "Very." "Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small were singing without any presents at all." "He hadn'tstopped Christmas from coming." "It came." "Somehow or other, it came just the same!" "Mr. Grinch?" "And the Grinch, with his Grinch feetice-cold in the snow stood puzzling and puzzling." "How could it be so?" "It came without ribbons!" "It came without tags!" "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" "And he puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore." "Then the Grinch thought ofsomething he hadn't before." "Maybe Christmas he thought doesn't come from a store." "Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more." "Help me!" "I'm feeling!" "And what happened then well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day." "What's happening to me?" "I'm all toasty inside." "And I'm leaking." "Oh, Max." "I love you!" "All right, that's enough." "Knock it off." "Beat it!" "Get out of here!" "One step at a time." "No." "The sleigh." "The presents." "They'll be destroyed!" "And I care!" "What is the deal?" "Wait!" "This can't happen!" "It shouldn't!" "It couldn't!" "It mustn't!" "It wouldn't!" "Not now, not then, not ever again!" "No!" "Oh, well." "It's just toys, right?" "Hi, Mr. Grinch!" "Cindy Lou!" "What are you doing up there?" "I came to see you." "No one should be alone on Christmas." "No!" "I got you, Cindy Lou!" "You did it!" "Spread eagle!" "Nailed it!" "Are you all right?" "Are you kiddin'?" "The sun is bright and the powder's bitchin'!" "Now scoot over!" "It's my turn to drive!" "I'd better slow this buggy down!" "We're gonna crash!" "Now you listen to me, young lady!" "Even if we're horribly mangled there'll be no sad faces on Christmas." "What is it?" "Help!" "Cindy!" "Grinch?" "My baby!" "Grab an end." "By the way, these lights match your outfit perfectly." "This could be more difficult to negotiate." "Heads up, Whoville!" "Hurry!" "Here he comes!" "Out of the way!" "I have no insurance!" "Yeah!" "Run for your lives!" "Watch out, I can't stop!" "Daddy, move!" "Dad, move it!" "Thanks for the help." "Hi, Daddy!" "Hi, Cindy, honey!" "Merry Christmas one and all!" "Cindy!" "Mommy!" "All right." "What do we have here?" "You got me, Officer!" "I did it!" "I'm the Grinch that stole Christmas." "And I'm sorry." "Aren't you gonna cuff me?" "Put me in a choke hold?" "Blind me with pepper spray?" "You heard him, Officer." "He admitted it." "l'd go with the pepper spray." "Yes, I heard him, all right." "He said he was sorry." "Besides, it looks like everything is all here and accounted for." "Help me out here, people." "Martha?" "Merry Christmas, August May-Who!" "I'm afraid I do have something for you!" "Your ring back." "Sorry but my heart belongs to someone else." "No hard feelings?" "Cheer up, dude. lt's Christmas." "Merry Christmas, Mr. Grinch." "Your cheek is so...." "l know." "Hairy?" "No." "Greasy?" "Stinky?" "Do I have a zit?" "No." "Warm." ""Fah who foraze, dah who doraze" ""Welcome, Christmas, come this way" ""Fah who foraze, dah who doraze" ""Welcome, Christmas, Christmas Day" ""Welcome, welcome, fah who rahmus" ""Welcome, welcome, dah who dahmus" ""Christmas Day is in our grasp" ""So long as we have hands to clasp" ""Fah who ray-moo ya-who hee haw" ""Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer" ""Fah who foraze" ""Dah who doraze, welcome all Whos" ""far" ""and" ""near"" "So he brought back the toys and the food for the feast." "And he, he himself, the Grinch carved the roast beast." "Yeah!" "There's nothin' like the holidays." "Who wants the gizzard?" "l do!" "Too late!" "That'll be mine." ""Where are you, Christmas?" ""I think I've found you" ""This time I'll make you stay" ""All will be singing" ""Bells will be ringing" ""Now and forever" ""Christmas Day"" "Subtitles by phillemonek"

"Previously on "11.22.63"..." "Al, why did you show this to me?" "I need you to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy." "I wanna save him too." "I wanna help." "We need to find out when Oswald starts talking about General Walker and who he starts talking about him to." "Lee is back." "That's George de Mohrenschildt." "He's CIA." "This might be the start of the whole thing." "General Walker." "I have something to say!" "Why come to a little place like Jodie when there's plenty of teaching jobs in Dallas?" "I didn't really take to the city." "Call me Deke." "All my faculty does." "Mr. Amberson, this is Miss Dunhill." "Yeah, we've... we met before." "People in Texas, they're not exactly welcoming to a divorcée." "To starting over." "Shit." "Come on, come on, come on." "Whoo!" "All right, let's show 'em." "You are in the Marines now, son." "Let's see it." "Sharp shooter!" "Again." "Marina?" "Marina!" "Oh-ho, Juney, it's..." "Oh, baby, it's okay." "I'm..." "Daddy's coming, I'm..." "It's okay." "Hmm." "Mm." "English." "You are American now." "Marina." "Stand here." "Okay." "Why the papers?" "'Cause people will want to know." "That I stand for something." "You look ridiculous." "Lee, what's a man like you going to do with a rifle like that?" "I am going to hunt fascists." "Ready?" "Now." "Hey, Bill." "I want you to watch them closely today." "I wanna know everything that goes on between George and Lee, okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah, no problem." "I like being in this new apartment, right underneath them." "Makes things a lot easier." "Hey." "They still have no idea who we are." "Let's keep it that way." "All right." " Get me?" " Yeah." " See you later." " See you later." "Howdy, stranger." "You know, they say, "Smart is the new sexy."" "I don't know anyone who says that." "Oh." "Well..." "I say it." "Don't worry." "Everyone's gone." "Do you know anything... more uplifting?" "Not really, I'm just learning." "Oh." "How about this?" "How could I dance with another..." "Ooh" "When I saw you standing there?" "That's catchy." " Yeah." " You make that up?" "Oh, yeah." "Just me and my mates," "John, Paul, George, and Ringo." "Your mates?" "Umm, yeah, my imaginary friends." "You're so odd." "Just crazy... about you." "Mr. Amberson." "Yeah." "You have a moment?" "When you take on a responsibility to teach, you also take on a responsibility to set an example." "An example?" "Hell, it's harder for girls." "Different rules, you know?" "I mean, just take a look around here." "Every pair of eyes you see, there's two pairs you can't see." "And they're all watching you, judging you, deciding if you're good or bad." "Girls here, they all wanna grow up to be just like Miss Dunhill, and that's a good thing, 'cause she's important." "She's a new kind of woman." "You care about her?" "Yeah." "Then put her first." "Protect what's important in this life." "Discretion is the better part of valor, young man." "Right." "Jimla-doo." "I need to talk to you about your defense this year, son." "I'm gonna do something, I swear." "Someone has to." "Make..." "Jake, drop that." "Listen." "You gotta listen to this." "Here." "Listen." "The... the fabric of society is being torn apart by people like General Walker." "We have seen before, haven't we?" "Men of power, grabbing whatever they want." "Thank God they're speaking English." "I'm gonna do something, I swear." "Someone has to." "Make... make a-a statement." "You got a new rifle." "Send a message." "An action that cannot be ignored." "I'm gonna." "I tell ya, I've got it in me." "You have courage." "And I have some friends." "Powerful friends who can... help you be the great man you... you want to be." "I'm happy to introduce you." "Marina, don't slam..." "This... this changes everything." "What do you mean?" "George just told Lee to assassinate General Walker." "And he said he'd introduce him to his friends... at the CIA." "George is a handler for Lee." "George is the gun." "Lee's the bullet." "CIA's pulling the trigger." "And Walker is a test run for Kennedy." "But you said he misses Walker." "Then why would the CIA stick with the shooter that misses the target?" "I don't know, I don't know." "Maybe Lee's part of the conspiracy right now, and he messes up, they cut him loose, but he goes rogue on Kennedy." "I don't know." "So..." "What do we do now?" "We got to follow them both, okay?" "You take Lee." "I'll cover George." " No, you take Lee." " No, no, no." " I'll take George." " No, you take Lee." "I don't want Lee." "All he ever does is read books." "Then he'll be easy." "Close it up, close it up, close it up." "All right, all right, all right." "Close it up!" "Come on!" "Oh, Miss Mimi." "How long did you think you'd get away with it, Mr. Amberson?" "Or should I call you Mr. Epping?" "Thank you." "Oh." "Bill, I respect your interest in my visit, but I think this matter is best handled privately between myself and your brother." "So, um, how did you find me in Dallas?" "You're not hard to follow." "We never received your immunization records." "State school board requires those for employment." "Yours don't exist." "I investigated your degree and found out it was issued by what generously might be referred to as a "mill,"" "and a call to your last known address in Kentucky revealed that you use the name Epping when it suits you." "Okay, all right, I got it." "I haven't taken this to Mr. Simmons." "I came to you because I believe in trust." "You wouldn't break our trust, would you?" "No." "I wouldn't." "You're right, I haven't been telling the truth." "Well, not all of it." "My real name is Jake Epping." "I was given the name Amberson by the FBI when I went into witness protection." "Witness protection?" "Yes, in 1959, I turned over state's evidence for a case against the Mafia." "What is the Mafia?" "The Mafia." "Italian-American organized crime syndicate." "What did you witness?" "Well..." "I had this friend, Fredo, and his brother Michael had him killed on a fishing trip in Lake Tahoe." "In return for my testimony, the FBI gave me a new identity." "They set me up in Jodie, a place nobody would ever look for me." "And Bill and I just keep this place as a backup." "You know, just in case they try to pull me back in." "I see." "If you were revealed to be an imposter in the school, it would devastate this community." "Yeah." "I won't say anything about it." "Thank you." "It's wrong to conceal things from those you care for." "What... what are you saying?" "I-I should tell Sadie?" "If I discovered this about you, anyone can." "When you refuse to tell people the truth, Mr. Amberson, you deny them their dignity." "And for some of us, dignity matters." "Hi." "Hi." "Wanna dance?" "What's the occasion?" "It's Friday." "Yeah, I saw that in the calendar." "I don't wanna move too fast." "Oh, no." "I know, I-I..." "Maybe I overdid it, but, um," "I've just been thinking..." "I care about you." "Care about you too." "And I realized that being with me may be costing you something more than it should." "People talk." "So I thought, if we could just have a place, just a moment, where... we could be our real selves." "How's that sound?" "A bit dramatic." "Yeah." "All I really want is just to be right here with you." "But if this is all, you know, too much," "I-I, um, I-I totally understand." "I did bring that record player all the way from home, and it's really heavy." "And that is one of my favorite songs." "I guess I just, um..." "I don't... know a lot about you." "I just wanna get to know you." "Like, what's your middle name?" "Laurel." "Laurel." "My middle name's George." "Hey." "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." "I just..." "I found this." "I seen your baby girl with it a couple times." "Thought she might be missing it." "I'm Bill." "From downstairs." "Yes." "Bill." "I'm Marina." "Real nice to meet you, Marina." "Thank you, Bill." "For doll." "June, she has... not so many." "Hey." "You look different when you sleep." "What's wrong?" "Nothin'." "Tell me." "How come you never tell stories about your life?" "About your family, about you and Bill growing up." "You want family stories, I can give you family stories." "That's not my point." "You got something to hide?" "I don't wanna hide anything from you." "Good." "I want us to be honest with each other." "I just don't know if I can be." "Sometimes people hide things inside because they're afraid... that if they share them with others..." "It's gonna ruin everything?" "Is that what you're afraid of?" "I feel like I'm an imposter in my own life." "Everyone thinks I'm one thing, but I'm something else." "I don't wanna be that way." "I wanna... wanna start things over right now." "Here, with you, in this room." "This is what I wanna build on." "Never look back." "Okay?" "Okay." "All right, I'm gonna tell you something that's gonna sound really crazy." "What?" "Was that envelope there when we got here?" "I don't know." "What's the matter?" "It's just the hotel bill." "You know what, I... forgot I have to do something with Bill." "We... we'd have to go." "We're leaving?" "I'm really sorry." "I'm sorry." "We... we've just gotta go." " The CIA?" " Yes." "We're getting close." "This is them telling us to back off." "If the CIA are worried about us, why don't they just kill us with a blow dart" " or rat poison or something?" " This is a specific message." "They're saying not only they're gonna ruin me, they're gonna ruin Sadie too." "It's collateral damage." "So break up with Sadie." " What?" " Break up with Sadie." "Leave..." "leave Sadie out of this." "I didn't get Sadie into this." "All I'm saying is we gotta double down, all right?" "We need to clear up all this shit with Lee and George." "Now." " You wanna solve it?" " Yeah." "Shoot Lee." "I'm not convinced that it's Lee alone." "But this says we're getting close." "We're getting close to them, and they don't like it." "Just need to get a little bit more." "George, I don't wanna do this." "Okay, let's just go home." "Be quiet." "If they sense something's up, they won't let us in." " Yes?" " Candy bar." " Come on in." " Voilà." "All right, look." "George said that he was gonna introduce Lee to his powerful friends." "This might be the meet." "I don't like this." " Just come on." " At all!" "Come on, Bill." "We've gotta get close enough to hear them without them seeing us." "Gotta hear the plan go from the CIA to Lee." " Yes?" " Candy bar." "Come on in." " All right." " This isn't gonna work." "Well, if you're staying out here, then you wait in the car, with the other babies." "Wow." "All right, come on, we've gotta find Lee." "Come on, Bill." "Hey, hey, hey." "Bill, Bill, Bill." " He's out cattin' around." " I know, calm down, just..." "Welcome to the Shamrock Hotel." "Oh, hi." "Hello." "Let me get y'all a drink and introduce you to the finer things in life." "What do you say?" "That sounds great." "Oh, attaboy." "Now, this is a high-class place." "Don't you worry." "We even got them Michelobs in the fancy little bottles." "Great, we'll take two of those please, thank you." "Oh, I like you, son." "What's your name?" " I'm George." " And your friend?" " Uh, this here's Wayne." " Bill." "Billy Wayne." "Hey, I really appreciate the hospitality, but, uh, not to be rude..." "I'm ready to go, if you know what I'm saying!" "Ha-ha!" "All right." "Oh, believe me, I understand." "Time is money." " Yeah." " Y'all see anything you like?" "Um, well, uh, yeah." "Uh..." "she looks great." "Dawn, got a live one." "Hi, hi." " Hello, mister." " Howdy." "And what about you?" "Uh, he's broke." "What?" "No, that's not true." "Yeah, he's broke; he's gonna wait for me right there." " Come on, baby." " Bye!" "I'm not broke." " I can do it." " Okay, hurry, I'm ready." "Okay, we're hustling." "Tell you what, Thursday night's a full moon." "It's like crocodiles eatin' chickens around here, all feathers and bones and shit." "Hey, Sally, fix your lipstick." "Just so's you know, it's 15 dollars for 15 minutes." "Half an hour's gonna run you at 25." "And you don't look like you've got an hour in you, so I won't bother." "And I don't do nothin' standing up, account of my bad leg." "You comin'?" "Um, you know, I'm not gonna..." "You're not gonna what?" "Not gonna..." "I don't need you." "Mm, nah, nah, nah, nah, you ain't one of those." "We don't allow that." " It's okay." " No no, that ain't your party." "I know, I know, that's not what I mean." "That... that... no!" "Agh!" "You okay?" " You sorry sons-a-bitch!" " What?" "Quiet!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Quiet!" "Shh, shh!" "Police!" "Freeze, this is a raid." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Whoa, boy." "Where you going in such a hurry?" "Shit." "I didn't see Lee or George in there." "Yeah, well, George knows people." "There's no way he ends up in a goddamn drunk tank." "Solicitation of a prostitute?" "Maybe I had you figured wrong, Jake." "Bill, I can understand, but you..." "What?" " Deke." " Don't bother, son." "I don't wanna hear it." "I know it's a lot to ask, but maybe we could keep this between us?" "You understand what I mean?" "All right." "Hold on a minute." "You're not going anywhere." "What do you mean?" "You've got a class in 30 minutes, and I don't have a sub." " Can I change my shirt?" " Nope." " Deke." " You about to get a lesson in reaping what you sow." "Close the door, Bill." "Good morning, Miss Mimi." "Good morning, Mr. Simmons, sir." "Well, I believe it might be time for us to look at that summer school schedule." "Morning, Miss Mimi." "Mr. Amberson." "Perhaps you'd like to review the dress code in the teachers' manual." " No, I just..." " You just what?" "I just need a tie and a belt." "Can you help me?" "I..." "I'll see what I can do." "Thank you." "Coffee." "Miss Mimi, who is that?" "That is Mr. Clayton." "Sadie's ex?" "What's he doing here?" "Mr. Amberson, that is none of your business." "Sadie?" "Sadie!" "It's from the leather shop." "You'll have to do without a tie." "Okay." "Thank you." "I can't do this right now." "Sadie." "No, I-I don't wanna do this right now." "Wait, wait, wait." "What?" "Just talk to me." "He's not gonna give me the divorce." "All right." "I thought it was gonna be different here." "But he found me." "So he's not gonna let it happen." "How did he find you?" "My mother told him." "Why are you so upset?" "Well, you remember... when you said everyone has something they're afraid to share?" "Yeah, but there's nothing that you could share..." "You don't understand." "Then tell me." "It will be okay." "I promise." "It'll be fine." "When I met Johnny, I thought he was the most charming man I'd ever met." "We'd never done much... physically." "I just thought he was old-fashioned." "On our wedding night, he, uh... he got real tense." "Didn't wanna kiss me." "He just asked me to close my eyes." "So I did." "And then he took my hand, and he put it on himself." "And I screamed." "Why?" "'Cause he had a clothespin on him." "What?" "I didn't know what to say, so I laughed." "And then he hit me." "So I started crying, and he hit me again." "And then he put his hand over my mouth and he got on top of me." "When he was done, he said," ""Go wash your wormy hole." "You're dirty."" "Why didn't you leave him?" "Well, I tried to tell my mother, but she said it's a wife's duty to take care of her husband." "And so I did." "I never should have told you." "You think I'm disgusting." "What?" "No." "No." " Sadie, no." " I ruined it." "No." " Sadie!" "God..." " I ruin everything" "Bill?" "What are you doing here?" "George came by the house." "Keep your voice down." "He wanted Lee to come with him at 4:00." "He said his two friends wanted to meet today." "Had to meet today." "Lee wasn't having any of it." "He was still pissed off about last night." "He said he's got something he has to do." "Why aren't you with him right now?" "'Cause he went to sleep." "He works the swing shift, later." " Okay." " Let's go." "You follow Lee." "I'll follow George." "Shit." "Come on, lady." "Shit." "Hiding in plain sight." "Typical CIA front." "Come on." "Where are you?" "I don't wanna fight, baby." "Look, I got you something." "Wait..." "It's the only photo of the three of us together." "It's just, you know," "I-I had it framed for you." "If something happens to me, I want Juney to have it." "To remember her papa by." "What do you mean, if something happens?" "There is something important that I have to do." "I can't tell you what it is, but it's a good thing." "It's okay." "It'll be okay." "Shh." "Fucking hell, Jesus Christ." "You said he'd be here." " I know." " Well, where is he then?" "He's hard to handle." "I'm doing my best." "General Walker, as we discussed." "Shh." "They are filthy animals, aren't they?" "Now, I don't think that we have been formally introduced." "Johnny Clayton." "I'm Sadie's husband." "Did you follow me?" "Well, I wanted to talk." "Make sure that you got my message." " What message?" " The photographs... of you and my wife." "That was you?" "Mr. Amberson, you've been bad." "And you need to... you need to understand what's at stake." "You have no fucking idea." "Oh..." "Let's try to handle this without profanity." " Fuck you." " Oh." " Okay?" " Okay." "You ever talk to Sadie, or go near her again," "I will kick the shit out of you and leave you in a ditch." "You get my message?" "Sadie is my wife." "She belongs to me." "Now, if you try to breach that bond, then..." "Then there will be consequences." "For the both of you." "How's your clothespin?" "What, are you wearing it right now?" "You live in a small town." "People love to talk." "Now what do you think they'll say once they learn your sad little secrets?" "Did your daddy put that on you?" "Oh, no, that was your mommy." "No." "She... she shouldn't have..." "Shouldn't have told you that." "Give her the divorce, and then crawl back under your rock, you sorry sack of shit." "You two deserve each other." "Hi." "Hi." "These are for you." "People... people wanna think that that's what life is like, that it's flowers and hearts." "But it's not." "It's messy." "Things get broken." "I don't want you here 'cause you feel sorry for me." "That's not why I'm here." "I'm here because I love everything about you." "No matter what happened to you, or what will happen to you, it's not all bad." "Because the person standing in front of me is a wonder." "You are a wonder." "Bill?" "What going on?" "There's two hours of Russian bullshit on that tape if you wanna catch up." "Me, I'm done." " Lee, stop!" " All right, that's it." " That son of a bitch." " Please stop!" "You can't, no, no, no." "I swear to God, I'm gonna punch you in the fucking throat." "You can't get involved in their lives." "You can't interfere." "Listen to what he's doing to her." "He's hurting her." " She lives!" " It's all about you." "Get the fuck out of my way." "You can't!" "You can't." "I'm sorry." "Okay?" "I'm sorry." "Listen." "Listen, listen." "It stopped." "It stopped." "You're a fucking asshole." "Hey." "Smoke?" "Lee not like." "I won't tell." "Morning, Deke." "I'll be back in 15 minutes." " Hey, where's Mimi?" " Out sick." "And watch yourself." "It's Miz Mimi." "What's wrong with him?" "I don't know." "What is it?" "He did it." "I don't know why, but he did." "That's great." "We should go celebrate." "I can't believe it." " Sadie?" " Hmm?" "Me too." "See you later." "Okay." "That's it." "That's it." "Go!" "Gah, yeah!" "Come on!" "Agh!" "Whoo!" "Hey." "Did you win?" "Yeah." "I used Al's book." "It's all right." "It's for both of us." "Look, the thing with Marina..." "I'm sorry." "Mm." "What we're doing is a crazy, crazy thing." "And I can see there is no way" "I would ever be able to do it without you." "We're a team." "Yeah." "We're a team." "Okay?" "All right." "I got to get back to Jodie." "You gonna be all right?" "Sure, I got some plans for the winnings." "Yeah?" "Hope you're not going back to the Shamrock Hotel." "No!" "Okay." "Jake?" "Jake, are you here?" "Bill, is that you?" "Jake?" "Who are you?"

"Previously on Ugly Betty" " You're dating a married man?" " You think that doesn't tear me up?" " Well, then walk away." " I can't." "I'm in love with him." "Are you offering me a job?" " You will be my protege." " But that's Marc's job." "And now it's yours." "Stuart, what are you doing here?" " What's wrong?" " I think he's doing drugs again." " What?" " I was on that trip with you in Paris." " I remember you drooling all over his mother." " Your son's grandparents in France" " filed a claim for custody." " I want to stay with my father." "I've made a decision." "Tonight we are welcoming back, as editor-in-chief of "Mode," Daniel Meade." "Don't forget, I still own a third of this company." "You would be nothing without that baby." "You can't push me aside." "Um, is that light really necessary?" "Sorry, Miss Suarez." "That's okay." "Believe me." "No one wants to know what happened to Christina" " more than I do." " About that" "Do you have any idea where Mr. Meade was last night?" "Um..." "Do I know where Daniel was last night?" " Hi, Dad." " Morning, sweetheart." "Are we gonna do this every morning?" "Hey, I miss you at breakfast, but I'm sure you're having a great breakfast in your own apartment." "Mmm." "It's great." "I can't help it." "I still worry about you, by yourself in the big city." "You think you have enough locks on your door?" "I have plenty." "And I grew up in the big city, remember?" "There's no need to be so potective of--My umbrella." "Why would I be protective of your umbrella?" "No, I left my umbrella outside my apartment, and now it's gone." "Amor, you're too trusting." "You leave your umbrella outside your apartment," " people will steal it." " I'm sure somebody just borrowed it." "My neighbors are really nice." "It sounds a lot like your bike in the seventh grade." "Okay, those guys totally said that they would bring it back, and it's fine if someone borrowed my umbrella, 'cause I don't need it today anyway." " You look different." " I'm wet." " Big improvement." " Betty." "Good morning, Daniels." "What is popping, Shorty?" "Super tight." "I am outtie five, 'kay?" "Everyone at school listens to hip-hop, so he's sort of been studying up." " Oh, well, he is a fast learner." " Uh-huh." "All right, Daniel, your first day back at "Mode"" " Schedule..." " Thank you." " Mail." " Oh, That's it?" "Yep, the rest of it got forwarded to Alexis, but I'm on it." "Don't worry." "Oh, and I also thought that I would go do a dry cleaning run for you" " since you're off the tracksuits." "Yay!" " Great." "Oh. uh, can you have my raincoat dry-cleaned while you're at it?" "Hello, Dusty." "Oh, and I was supposed to get my mom home last night, but I ended up leaving the party early, so if anyone asks, you can just say, uh, we were, uh," " here late packing up at "Player" magazine." " But we weren't at "Player."" "Oh, I know." "I just thought it was the simplest explanation." "Well, why don't you just say where you really were?" " Wouldn't that be simpler?" " Because I would..." "Because it's not a big deal." "People!" "I have an announcement to make!" "This is urgent!" "I have important news!" "Wilhelmina Slater is in the hospital." "It's okay." "She's only there because last night her surrogate, Christina, fell down the stairs and is unconscious." "What?" "Don't worry." "The baby and Wilhelmina are fine." "Marc!" "What about Christina?" "I'm sure that she's-- You know what?" "I didn't ask." "Christina..." "Hi." "It's Betty." "Hey, Betty." "Are you all right?" "What happened?" "I don't remember." "It's--It's a bit fuzzy." "I was leaving the party." "I'd had an awful time." "And..." "I was at the top of the stairs," "And..." "And--And then someone pushed me." "What?" "Baby." "Mama." "Drama." "Rumors are swirling ever since the surrogate... carrying Wilhelmina Slater and Bradford Meade's latent love child fell down the stairs." "Or was she pushed?" "With Meade in the balance, everyone wants to know who could have done such a thing" "The millionaire playboy, The tranny C.E.O.," "The angry matriarch acquitted of murder or any one or Wilhelmina's many close frenemies?" "La Slater lost no time in trying to help authorities find the culprit." "I will not rest until the person who threatened the life" " of my unborn child..." " And others." "And others is brought to justice." "So Im offering a reward of $100,000" "To anyone with information leading to the apprehension of this monster." "This is a huge opportunity." "The more they talk about this, the less they talk about the poor sales of my first issue of "Mode."" "Still, Willie, doesn't it worry you a little, this whole situation?" "Well, of course I'm worried, Marc, but when someone gives you chintz, you can do two things" ""A," whine about the fact that it's an upholstery fabric" "Or "B," turn it into a fabulous Bolero jacket." "Okay, you're a diabolical fashion genius, and I'm delighted to be your first assistant again, but your baby..." "And others are in the hospital." "I-I-I-I know they're okay, But..." "Marc, you're right." "At the end of the day, it's about my child." "Now we'll have to make sure the press knows that." "We need speeches, vigils, long nights at the hospital with our Scottish rent-a-womb." "We'll have to make sure they don't forget the real victim here." "The baby." "Me." "You." "Hello. "Mode" magazine." "You'll have to call back." "Detective Averaimo." "I'm here to question people about" "I did it." " Excuse me?" " And now you have to interrogate me for, like, hours and hours, and I do not break easy." "I am totally easy." "Detective Averaimo, Betty suarez." "We're gonna set you up in the conference room." "Oh, but I'm guilty." "Where are you going?" "Just so you know, the victim," "Christina McKinney, is my best friend." "Don't worry, Miss Suarez," "We're taking this case very seriously." "The attempted murder of a woman and her unborn child..." "Well, if there's anything else that I can do for you," "Please just let me know." "Yeah, well, you can start by answering a few questions." "Um, is that light really necessary?" "Sorry, Miss Suarez." "Do I know... where Daniel was last night?" "Um..." "You know, after the party." "I'm not really sure." "You see, he sort of asked me to say he was working late." "If anyone, you know, asked." "He asked you to lie?" "Uh..." "No, no." "Uh, not a lie." "More of a small untruth." "Excuse me." "No." "I think i just found a very promising lead." "He said "very promising lead,"" "And then he circled and underlined Daniel's name." " It's all my fault." " Speaking of which," "I've been watching a lot of cop shows lately, and that Mariska Hargitay wears some amazing pantsuits." "I'm just trying to keep things upbeat." "Sweetheart," "I'm sure if he circled and underlined Daniel's name, the detective had a pretty good reason." "Dad, he only thinks Daniel's guilty because of something I said." "It's not like Daniel could ever do something like that." "Well, if Daniel's innocent," " then he has nothing to worry about, right?" " Right." "You're right." "I'm worrying about nothing." "I better get going." "Trains take forever to come after 9:00." "Okay." "Thank you for the Italian burgers." " You're welcome." " All right." "Bye." "Let us know what happens." "Okay." "Hi." "Sorry I missed supper." "I'm sure you were busy." "Hey." "Listen." "We need to talk about me and coach, okay?" "You're the only one who knows, and I know you're still mad at me." "Hilda, I'm not mad." "I was just surprised yesterday." "I never thought you were the type of person who'd do something like this." "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "Wait a minute." "I'm the same person." "I'm your sister." "Have a little faith." "Tony's marriage isn't working,okay?" "He wants to be with me." "But getting out of a situation like that is a little bit complicated, so that's why we were wondering if maybe we could just borrow your apartment." "What?" "Are you crazy?" "No, Hilda." "I'm not gonna let you turn my apartment into some sort of sex den." "Shh." "It's not about sex." "It's about love." "Fine." "Then some sort of love den." "If it was just about that, then we could do it in his car." "But that is no place to talk about whether or not we have a future together." "Betty, I'm trying to figure this thing out with him, you know?" "And all we need is a place to talk." "Just talk." "I promise." "I love you." "Thank you, mami." "Well, before you talk to Daniel," "Could you at least handcuff me?" "Daniel, I have to tell you something." "I meant to tell you yesterday, but I thought" "I should do it in person." "You see, I sort of might have maybe admitted to the police that you asked me to lie" " about where you were the night of the party." " Wait." "Why would you do that?" "I don't know!" "I am not a very good liar," "And I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and then he" "Mr. Meade, You got a minute?" "I was wondering about something I noticed in your office." "Are these your sneakers?" "Yeah." "Uh, those are actually-- They're bapes." "They're... one-of-a-kind." "Nigo hand-molded the soles for me and everything." " Fancy." "Size 11, huh?" " Mm-hmm." " I'm afraid you're under arrest." " What?" "What?" "The tread marks here match the size 11 shoe prints we found in the stairwell where Miss McKinney was pushed." "Betty, call my lawyer." "Um, right." "Okay, I will." "Ugly Betty" "Season 3 Episode 03" "Crimes of Fashion" "$200,000 bail-- That almost seems cheap." "Here comes the press." "Come on, guys." "Has anyone talked to Daniel Jr.?" "I don't want him to see his father like this." "I've already handled it." "I told him it's a Meade thing." "See, Grandma was in jail before, and Aunt Alexis may be in jail next." "Seriously, Mom." "We have to come up with a plan." "I think somebody's framing Daniel," " and I wouldn't put it past Wilhelmina." " Let's go." " Thank you, Betty." " We have nothing to say at this time." "Thank you." "Thank you." "What the..." "Oh." " Wilhelmina!" "Surrogate!" " Right over here." "Surrogate, pull the bandage down." "You're horrible." "Why, because I care about the welfare of my unborn child?" "That's right." "I care about the welfare of my poor, unborn child." "Good." "One more shot." "Because you are using me and the baby as some kind of prop for a P.R. stunt." "Ugh." "This pregnancy has just made you hysterical." "Believe me." "I understand." "It's... hormones." "You just need a drink of water." "Nurse?" "Nurse, my--my surrogate needs some water." "She's--she's suffered so much already." "Please." "Won't anyone help me?" "Can someone just give her some water?" "All right!" "Daniel, look." "I know this is my fault, and I really want to help you get out of it, but you did tell me to lie about where you were last night." "I know." "It's complicated." "More complicated than attempted murder?" "Look, you just gotta believe me, Betty." "You know me." "I didn't push Christina." "But beyond that, the less I say, the better." "I promised Betty, we'd keep it clean in here." "Oh, that's too bad." "I'm feeling dirty." "Coach, what did I just say?" "Mmm." "Seriously, I'm dirty." "Water's out at work." "Thank you very much," "New York City public school system." "Yeah, I kind of need a shower." "Okay, well, now I miss the sexy talk." " Do you want to just take a shower here?" " Oh." "I'll go get some ice cream," " and then when I come back, we can talk." " Talk?" "Mm-hmm." "When I say "talk," I actually mean talk." "Oh, yeah." "No." "No." "I know exactly what you mean." "Mm." "I'll be back." "All right." "All clean, sexy ma--aah!" "Coach?" " Papi." "Tony." " Hilda." "Papi,what are you doing here?" "I-I was worried about Betty." "I came to install locks." " Oh, what'd you get, Schlage locks?" " No, Kwikset." "Oh, yeah, those are good." "You're married?" "Papi--papi, it's--it's not what you think." "I think I should go." "I don't know why Daniel won't tell me where he was, but I just don't think that he's capable of doing something like this." "I mean, it's my fault he's in this situation." "I have to prove that he's innocent, and you can help me." "Well, what can I do?" "I mean, I've already talked to the police." "I know, but maybe there's something that you forgot or something that you didn't fully explain that could help us find who really pushed you." "I... never got around to telling you what happened with Stuart." "What happened with Stuart?" "I s-saw him on the day of the party, and... we fought." "You used me." "You just wanted the money to buy drugs." "Christina" "Just get your hands off me!" "I'm this close to calling immigration and having you deported." "Oh, my God." "Christina." "Everyone's so fixated on who wants revenge on Wilhelmina," "Nobody's talking about who hates you." "I'm sorry." "That came out wrong." "What did the police say about Stuart?" "I haven't exactly told them about it." "God, Betty." "This has just been so awful." "I mean, do you think that Stuart could... really have done this to me?" "I don't know." "But you can't keep something like this from the police." "Christina, you have to tell them the truth." "I know." "Stuart." "Stuart." "Hi." "What are you doing here?" "Well, I heard Christina was in the hospital." " I had to come and see that she's okay." " Yeah, uh, it's just that, um, they don't really want anyone in there who might upset her." " She told you about the fight, huh?" " Nope." "Maybe." "What size shoes do you wear?" "Why?" "No reason." "Size 14." "The kids at school used to call me "Big Foot."" "It was humiliating." "Now do you want to tell me why you need to know that?" "Well, the person who pushed Christina down the stairs wore a size 11." "Do you think I did it?" "It breaks my heart that you think I'm even capable of hurting Christina." " I love her." " Well, what do you expect, Stuart?" "She gave up a lot for you, to save your life, and now you're doing drugs again?" "I'm in pain." "The treatment that Christina paid for" "It didn't work." "There's no cure, so I'm gonna die, okay?" "I'm sorry." "Uh..." "I had no idea." "Are you going to tell her?" "After what Christina's done for me, to tell her it was all for nothing, how am I gonna do that?" "After all she's done for you, she deserves to know." "This didn't work in high school." "Why would it work now?" "What, are you stalking me?" "A married man, Hilda?" "I thought you were better than this." "Said the guy who had an affair with our mom." "No, that was totally different." "Oh, right, because you're a guy, and you got that whole Latino Macho thing happening." "Don't make this about that." "This is about you." "You'd never say anything like this to Betty." "Maybe because Betty wouldn't do something like this." "Good afternoon." "Hi." "I'm Betty Suarez." "I'm Daniel Meade's assistant." "I need the security tapes from two nights ago." "You want the security tapes, too?" "Like, I said, I work for Daniel Meade, as in Meade publications." "The guy they arrested for pushing that pregnant lady?" "That's the one." "That's crazy." "You work for a murderer." "Ah." "Attempted murderer, and he didn't do it, and you work for him, too." "Wow." "I work for a murderer." "I hadn't considered that." "Right, so if you give me the tapes, and we can prove he's innocent, then we won't work for a murderer." "I can't do it." "The morning after your boss tried to kill that poor pregnant lady, the tapes were gone." "What?" "Well, do you know who took 'em?" "I'll tell you what I told the police" " and that little blonde girl." " Okay." "I have no idea." "Wait." "What little blonde girl?" "So I asked about the tapes." "So what?" "I am not splitting Wilhelmina's reward money with you." "Amanda, I don't care about the reward." "I just need to help Daniel." "Look, you know he's innocent, too." "I do." "Look, don't judge me, okay?" "Not that you ever really could in..." "That." "But I really, really need that reward money." "I'm having a little bit of a cash flow problem, and I may or may not have maxed out a few credit cards." " How many?" " Like... 15." " 15?" " Shh." "I like nice things, okay?" "So what?" "Anyway, I'm not talking to my parents now," "So I'm kind of on my own with this, not that you'd care." "No, of course I care." "Look, Amanda, you were there the night Christina got pushed, so why don't you just tell me what you remember?" "Well, it was late." "That's when I usually try the credit card company's Indian call centers." "They are so much nicer." "Seriously, I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this, Rahul." "Is it a crime to purchase things you can't pay for?" "No." "Amanda, have you seen the mustard?" "I need it for my big, fat sandwich, which I'm always, like, eating around you and making a total mess of myself." " You know." "You always are, right?" " Mm-hmm." "I do not always eat sandwiches, and I wasn't even there." "I'm just saying, it really does feel that way sometimes." "So anyway, I was back at my desk..." "Okay, if I pay my bill, then I can't pay my rent, and if I can't pay my rent, then where will you send my bill?" "See?" "This is actually all for you." "Christina?" "I peered around the corner, but it wasn't a woman." "Well, it was Marc." "You will rue the day, Wilhelmina Slater, that you decided to cross Marc St. James." "I know all of your plans, and I will make you pay!" "Actually, I did push Christina the other night." " What?" " Oh, it's not what you think." "God, you people jump to conclusions." "And you..." "You'd think someone with your skin tone would be a little more sensitive to prejudice." "Marc, don't change the subject." "You just said you pushed Christina, and Amanda said she saw you yelling at Wilhelmina that night." "Oh." "That." "Well, that really wasn't anything." "Then why are you hiding it?" "I'm not hiding it." "I just don't want anyone to know about it." "Marc, that's the same thing." "Fine!" "Do you want to know what I was doing?" "I'll show you." "You killed Wilhelmina, and you stuffed her!" " But you put her in Tahari?" " Amanda, it's a Wilhelmina doll." "It's a Wilhelmina mannequin." "She had it made for dress fittings." "Now I'm not proud of this, and I will deny it if asked, but sometimes when I'm angry at her," "I will pull out the mannequin late at night and... yell at it." "You will rue the day, Wilhelmina Slater, that you decided to cross Marc St. James." "I know all of your plans, and I will make you pay." "You slapped her?" "Hard core." "Well, I apologized afterwards." "I mean, I know she's not real, but she still scares me a little." "Marc, you still haven't explained" " exactly why you were angry at Wilhelmina." " Oh, I don't know." "Maybe because I've been loyal to her for years, and then in a matter of days," "She hires this little Mayan fireplug and promotes her above me?" "Marc, that again?" "You may think that I lick Willie's boots because I like it, and I do a little--they're fancy" "But there is a reason why I put myself through it." "You're not the only one who wants to get ahead in the magazine world." " I have dreams, too." " Wow." "You never mentioned that." "Anyway, I was a little worked up yelling at the Wilhel-mannequin, so I just wanted to go home... but Christina was blocking my way." "Excuse me." "You." "You're carrying that thing..." " For her!" " Aah!" "So that's the last time I saw Christina, with Claire, who seemed pretty pissed off at her now that I think about it." "Oh, my God." "Claire." "She had a motive, an opportunity" "Not to mention, she totally murdered my mom." "Kind of." "All right, Mrs. Meade, if you could just tell us what you remember." "Just so you know, if I had done it," "I would never let my son take the blame." "Oh, something you learned in prison?" "There's two things they always tell you" "Do your own time and don't trust the popo." "Okay." "Uh, so what exactly were you doing the night of the launch party?" "Well, you probably remember us at the party," "Exchanging our usual pleasantries." "You can't push me aside." "Don't you ever threaten my children, Wilhelmina." "You have no idea the lengths I will go to protect them." "You're not doing a very good job of explaining how you're innocent." "Yes, well, Wilhelmina has a way of getting me worked up, and that night, I found myself needing a little something to take the edge off." "All right, you slipped up." "You had a drink." "So what?" "That's the thing." "I can't have just one drink." "I screwed up, Betty." "Wilhelmina Slater." "More like Wilhelmina Slut-er." "Get it?" "Oh, that's okay." "I'm so funny." "Oh!" "God." " Excuse me." " Oh." "You." "You're carrying that thing for her!" "Oh!" "Hold it--Oh." "Ooh." "Oh, Mom." "Yeah, right here on the sofa." "Oh, no." "Mother, have you been drinking?" "Maybe." "Well, t-the last one" " sort of ended up alll over me, really." " Thank you, Christina." "Yeah." "Oh." "Thank you." "My mother has struggled with this one for a long time," "But I can't really blame her." "It's been a stressful week for all of us." "I was sort of dealing with my own problems that night." "You mean Wilhelmina?" " Yeah." "Wilhelmina?" " Yeah." "Let me remind you of my position at this company and then all of yours before I say, this doesn't go any further" "Than..." "This..." "Room." "Okay." "That's great." "We understand." "I work very hard to look poised... but sometimes things slip through the cracks." "Oh, my God." "What did you find?" "Facial hair." "Facial hair?" "I'd forgotten to take my estrogen." "I go to great lengths to maintain the illusion that I was born a woman, but I wasn't." "I'll be honest." "I didn't even notice Christina leaving." "I guess she must have snuck out while I was helping my mom." "The rest of the night was spent trying to hail a taxi and keep my mom from getting sick on my brand-new Donna Karan." "Wow." "I never knew Alexis went through that" "Or Claire or you, Amanda, with your credit cards." "I mean, you'd think there was an easy explanation for these things, but there just isn't." "I know, but after talking to everyone," "It really does seem like Daniel did it." "And I'm genuinely surprised." "No, Daniel is innocent." "I know he is." "Maybe Wilhelmina could help us prove it." " Prove what?" " Prove that Daniel's innocent." "Oh, I didn't understand that part." "Christina was standing right here." "Okay, guys." "Go ahead." "Throw the mannequin down the stairs." "Hmm." "I don't want to be critical here, but we can't reenact this crime with that mannequin." " It's way too skinny." " So true." "We need something heavy that can double as a convincing pregnant woman." "Guys, don't be ridiculous." "I'm not gonna let you throw me down the stairs." "Just relax." "You won't break anything unless you tense up." "Marc, I said let me go!" "Aah!" "Are you guys crazy?" "You could have killed us." "Great." "Can you have my raincoat dry-cleaned while you're at it?" "Hello, dusty." "Oh, my God." "Daniel's coat." "Dear, I was talking to Barbara Walters' people about setting up an inter" "Well, I-- everything all right?" "Emotional stress is not good for the baby." "Stuart came to see me." "His treatment didn't work." "And he's dying." "Well, I suppose that's the danger of experimental treatments." "Can you just leave me on my own for a little while?" "Please." "Oh..." "What did I do?" "Daniel." "Hi." "I was just looking for some paperwork." "Nope." "It's not here." "Hey, I'm glad I found you." "Look, I've just been wanting to tell you how much your faith in me has meant during this whole ordeal." "Yeah." "Of--of course." "Something wrong?" "No, nothing's wrong." "Why would anything be wrong?" "I don't know just kind of the way you said, "nothing's wrong,"" "It kinda like, you know, sounds like there is something wrong." "Nope." "Oh, I gotta go." "Betty?" "Thank God you're here." "I don't know what to do." "Hilda's having an affair." "Coach diaz--he's married." "I know." "Wait." "What?" "You know?" "Dad!" "Enough with the Spanish." "I think Daniel pushed Christina." "What?" "I found this in his bag." "It's a security tape from "Mode" the night Christina got pushed." "He stole it." "Do you think he's guilty?" "I don't know." "I don't-- I don't know what to think." "I mean, I spent the entire day trying to prove that he's innocent, and all I found out was that everything is more complicated than I thought." "Betty, this is why I worry about you." "I know, Dad." "I know." "You think I'm naive." "I'm too trusting." "Is it really naive to want to believe in people?" "I mean, look at Hilda." "Okay, so she made a mistake." "She's still a good person." "And I would say the same thing about Daniel right before I found this." "That's not being naive, mija." "That's faith." "Have you seen it?" "No." "I don't want to know if I'm wrong about Daniel." "What if you're right?" "Ew, Daniel." "This is dirty..." "And awkward." "But why would he want to hide that from the police?" "It's complicated." "It's not that complicated, Daniel." "I've seen the tape." "Oh, God." "Not the" "Yes, and I saw it with my dad." "Okay, so..." "The woman I was with that night," "That was Holly, The State Department liaison who's been helping me with my custody problems." "And you're sleeping with her?" "No, no." "That--that happened after she started helping me." "It wasn't like she started helping me because we slept together, but if it ever got out," "I know that's what it would look like." "That's it?" "That's why you couldn't say anything?" "What, are you crazy?" "Daniel, you were arrested for attempted murder!" "Yeah, which I didn't commit." "Look, I had to believe they were gonna find the real culprit eventually." "Besides, if they ever found out where I really was that night," "Holly could have lost her job, I'd lose her help and I could lose Daniel, Jr. forever." "He's my son, Betty." "I'm not gonna lose him now." "I won't." "Oh, my God." "Daniel, I have never been more happy to find out about one of your sleazy affairs." "Oh!" "I knew you couldn't have pushed Christina." "I believed in you, and I was right." "Mm!" "Thank you, Betty." "Um, I'm--I'm sorry to do this right now." "I-I'm late to pick up D.J." "Right." "Okay." "Yes." "You should go." "Would you mind giving that coat back to Alexis?" " What do you mean, give it back?" " She borrowed it a couple days ago." "It looks better on her anyway." "Alexis?" "I know you did it." "I don't know what you're talking about, Betty." "Daniel's coat." "You borrowed it." "It had dust from the bottom of the steps where Christina fell." "So I got his coat dusty." "So what?" " It doesn't mean anything." " What about your feet?" "Excuse me." "There are a lot of things you can change about yourself, but your shoe size isn't one of them." "Men's size 11, just like Daniel's, same as the ones the police found at the bottom of the stairs." "You pushed Christina, Alexis." "What do you want?" "What you did to Christina was horrible, but then you stole Daniel's shoes and you wore his coat?" "You framed your own brother, Alexis." "I-I didn't mean for that to happen." "I swear." "Yeah, well, that's what it looks like." "The night of the party, things were bad with Wilhelmina." "I know we've had our differences, Wilhelmina, but we're going to have to find a way to work together." "Oh, spare me, Alexis." "You stabbed me in the back." "So let me give you fair warning, my freakishly tall girlfriend," "You will never be rid of me." "Thanks to this baby." "I know all your secrets, and when I get my chance, you'll never see it coming." "I was so pissed off that I broke a heel." "Brand-new Sergio Rossis, too." "I knew he was my size, so I went to see if Daniel might have a pair of shoes that fit me." "then I saw the facial hair." "and right after that..." "I know it's not right, but at that moment," "I didn't see Christina." "I saw someone else." "You'll never be rid of me." "She was right." "as long as Christina was carrying her baby," "I would never be rid of her." "My mother passed out." "So I followed Christina out into the hallway." "And I can't explain it..." "But when I saw Christina then..." "All I could think of was Wilhelmina and everything she's put our family through." "I didn't think." "I just..." "I ran to her afterward." "I made sure she was still alive..." "And called 9-1-1." "I can't justify what I did." "And Daniel--I never, ever wanted that to happen." "It was insane." "I just kept telling myself, "He's innocent." "It'll go away."" "Oh, God, Betty." "If I could take it back, I would, but I can't." "What do I do?" "Well..." "No one else knows yet." "And I haven't told Daniel because I know you're a good person, Alexis." "But right now, you're the only person who can prove that." "* You wanna bend *" "* Oh, but if you do *" "* It all comes back *" "* Just breathe *" "* Breathe *" "* Just breathe *" "* Breathe *" "* We tend to forget We're all the same *" "* We all have joy, We all have pain *" "* Oh, but if we would remember *" "* Yeah *" "* How beautiful it would be *" "* If we breathe *" "* Breathe *" "* Believe *" "* Believe *" "* We tend to forget We're all the same *" "* We all have joy,we all have pain *" "* Breathe *" "So her lawyers are negotiating the terms of her surrender." "Betty, you think you know your own sister by now..." "I know." "People can surprise you." "Miss Meade..." "If you're ready." "Dear?" "Mom, there's one more thing I have to tell you." "Could--could you give us another moment, please?" "Thank you." "When I was clearing out my office," "I accidentally opened up a piece of Daniel's mail." "Well, darling, given what we're dealing with here," "I think Daniel's going to overlook that one." "No." "No, he won't." "It was a paternity test." "I don't understand." "* Breathe *" "Daniel isn't Daniel, Jr.'s father." "I am." "* Breathe *"

"To be honest, I didn't really give it a second thought." "He seemed like a nice guy and everything, but, you know nothing to die for or anything." "We chatted for a while, but it was small talk." "Nothing flirtatious." "It was the furthest thing from my mind." "He was telling me about some trip to Africa he'd done photographing meerkats." "These puny, rodent-like things." "They're incredible animals." "They live communally, so they eat together they work together, they look after each other's young." "They keep watch, holding their hands to their foreheads to shield their eyes while the rest of the tribe forage for food." "Then Sam arrived and dragged me away." "But it wasn't until we shared a cab home...." "So London must be an exciting place to live." "Yeah." "Apart from the cold, the rain, the filth, the huge cost of everything and the English, it's a great place to live." "Sounds terrific." "So how long are you here for?" "Till Thursday." "Right." "Three days." "Yeah." "He wasn't gorgeous or anything." "He didn't seem to be my type somehow." "I was surprised." "There was something about him that was turning me on." "He had this relaxed magnetism." "Sort of, I don't know, like he didn't give a shit." "Yeah, there was definitely something going on between us." "When you're about to leave the country, you suddenly become more desirable." "Anyway, he made me laugh." "And I like that." "Three days." "It's tempting." "It's tempting." "Very tempting." "With two days off for good behavior." "She knows I'm leaving." "Could be fun." "Nothing complicated." "I mean, he won't hang around." "It's for one night." "Doesn't have all the usual expectations." "I bet he wants to." "Does she want to?" "I'm sure he wants to." "Yeah, I think she wants to." "And if it doesn't work out...." "Maybe she's covered in tattoos." "Maybe he can't get an erection." "She could be neurotic." "He's into something weird." "Doesn't matter, I'm back in London." "He'll be gone soon, who cares?" "Bye-bye." "So I was thinking, "Should I ask him in?"" "I don't know." "I was feeling pretty horny." "This is me, here on the left." "So...." "You'll be okay?" "Yeah, I'll be fine." "Well, I guess I'll see you then." "Yeah, yeah." "Bye." "Bye." "But that was it, I really felt like sex." "I want sex." "I need sex." "I love sex." "Come on, ask her." "Ask her." "What the hell, he's leaving in three days." "Look, I was sort of thinking" "You want to come in for a coffee?" "l wouldn't mind some tea." "Tea?" "You'll be lucky." "Come on." "Here we go again." "What are you doing?" "Just sawing my arm off, so I don't have to wake you." "It didn't work." "What time is it?" "lt's still early." "Do you have to go?" "No, I thought you might want to sleep." "You can go if you want." "But you don't have to." "Do you want me to go?" "Lie down, will you?" "Oh, my God, you're naked!" "Quit talking. I have to get to sleep." "And don't move." "No wriggling." "I don't want to open my" "Yeah, if I like someone, I like doing it. lt's" "Yeah, if I like someone, I like doing it. lt's-- lt's sexy." "And there's something really intimate about it." "What are you doing?" "Do I know you?" "It's the best time when you're still half-asleep." "Just semiconscious." "And the warmth, it starts down here and just fills your whole body." "Try relaxing." "l am relaxed." "I'm trying." "Yeah." "Okay." "Okay, I'm relaxed." "So eyes closed stay asleep." "What if I don't come?" "Stop it." "Just close your eyes." "Just close your eyes." "Bingo." "That's it." "Nice and gentle." "Up a bit, up a bit." "Now around." "Go around." "There." "Yeah." "What if I come too fast?" "Forget about him." "He can beg for his later." "Yeah, I'm just going to lie here and relax and enjoy it." "Left." "Go left." "Please go left." "Just there." "l like it at night." "l like it when he blows." "Needs to be a nice tongue." "No, soft." "Soft, little licks..." "...that start on my thighs and move in." "lt just doesn't do it for me." "It's what he does with his hands that makes it special." "God." "So close." "I found out how to relax with someone new." "And I got quite ticklish." "Sometimes I just find it too intimate, with his tongue and everything." "He seemed to enjoy it, which is good." "Well, I think he enjoyed it." "It wasn't a chore for him." "But I got a bit desensitized, and I think the poor boy got a bit tired." "Are you okay?" "It's a meerkat!" "What were you doing down there?" "I was foraging for food." "No, she didn't come." "But she seemed to enjoy it." "She was laughing enough." "It's sexy when their hips and bottoms start to move around like that." "After a while, it felt like my jaw was going to drop out of my head." "Sorry I was so ticklish." "Don't worry about it." "It felt good." "No, you've got a-- You got a good, good laugh." "You gotta shave before next time." "What do you mean, next time?" "Yeah, it's like sandpaper." "You've got to prepare the surface properly if you want to start any serious decorating." "Look, it felt good." "It just takes me a little time to get used to being so intimate, that's all." "It's a strange situation, I guess." "One moment you're really intimate, fucking each other's brains out." "The next minute, probably never see each other again." "It felt good between us, but he's going." "I guess he could've stayed another night, but that would complicate things." "Yeah, that's what it's about. lt's sex for one night without any commitment." "Yeah, we both knew that." "No, it was fun." "And he's tender, passionate, everything you want from a guy, but...." "There you are." "I thought you sneaked out." "I was about to, but first I thought I'd rifle through your drawers." "What?" "So when's the big day?" "Saturday, a week." "Look, I better get going." "I got heaps to do." "Relax, you big dummy, it's not mine." "God, what kind of girl do you think I am?" "I don't know." "For all I know, you like that sort of thing." "Yeah, right." "No, I'm making it for someone." "You're a dressmaker?" "Designer." "Well, I used to be, but I got the shits for doing things like that." "But in a moment of utter weakness, I said yes." "Don't ask me why." "So, what do you do now?" "Does it really matter?" "I do have cups, you know." "It doesn't matter." "I'm just vaguely interested, that's all." "Shit." "What's the date?" "Oh, no, I've got a stupid fitting tomorrow." "Sounds to me like you're a dressmaker." "She'll fucking kill me." "Look, I should get out of your hair." "I wasn't trying to get rid of you." "I guess, so...." "Then maybe I'll call you?" "When?" "I mean, you're leaving in-- l don't think I'll be, you know, in the right frame of mind." "Yeah, I better go." "See you." "What do we got here?" "Now, wait a minute." "Hello?" "Tim, it's Josh." "Where have you been?" "You disappeared last night." "Well, I went home with someone." "Yeah?" "Who?" "You know, a woman." "Really?" "Yeah, Cinthia." "Cinthia?" "Remember?" "I was talking to her." "Oh, yeah." "Right." "You don't have her number, do you?" "Listen, a lot of people want to see you before you go." "I'll be there." "I just need to talk to her for a minute." "What happened to, "I just walk away"?" "You're leaving." "She'll end up liking you." "No, she won't. lt's not like that." "Yeah, sure." "Come on, mate." "l guess I can call someone." "Can you call me back in 1 0?" "Okay." "Okay, thanks." "Bye." "Cinthia." "Cin." "She's blond?" "Never heard of her." "You're fucking kidding." "He's only been in town for two minutes." "Yeah, I saw him talking to her." "Oh, Cinthia." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "She was attractive." "That little rat." "Hasn't she got a boyfriend?" "Cinthia?" "Oh, no." "Well, I've been trying to go out with her for ages!" "lt's only because he's going away." "l'm not giving him her number." "He wants to call her?" "When has he ever wanted to call anyone?" "Josh." "What have you been doing?" "Listen, mate. ls it Cinthia Roland or Cinthia Graham?" "I don't know." "Who said romance is dead?" "Where are you?" "I'm in a phone box outside the-- l don't know." "Somewhere." "You better be here tomorrow." "Got a pen?" "46-- Yeah, Graham." "Okay, thanks." "See you." "Bye." "It's me." "I'm outside of the apartment and I think the only thing for us to do is to have sex immediately." "I'm sorry." "Yes, I'm sorry." "Look, I thought you were somebody else." "Okay, I'm sorry." "Bye." "Fuck." "Hello." "Hi, could I speak to Cinthia Graham?" "l mean, Cinthia Roland." "lt's me, you idiot." "What do you want?" "I'm sorry." "Look, I think I've just had sex with a total stranger." "It's only been five minutes and you've been unfaithful?" "I thought it was you. I think I rang some other Cinthia by mistake." "So you rang?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I was" "Hey, come upstairs." "I'm taking all my clothes off." "I might have something to keep you warm." "Why don't you bring it up here?" "I don't want to catch a chill." "Did I say goodbye?" "l don't think so." "Not properly." "Okay, see you." "Bye." "My leg, my leg!" "Just-- Yeah." "Oh, my God, this is so good!" "Don't fall in love with him." "Don't fall in love with him." "Don't, don't, don't!" "I love you!" "What?" "What?" "You know what." "I didn't mean it." "What?" "You're a bastard for making me say that." "What did I do?" "I was under duress." "Look, it's not fair." "I'm taking that back." "No, it's too late." "You can't." "Weren't you leaving?" "It's definitely the go." "From behind, with your hand on my clitoris." "Hi, gorg." "It's me." "Pick up." "I know you're there." "l'm not answering that." "Hello, hello, hello." "Come on, I know you can hear me." "Come on, Cin, pick up." "Hi, Sam. I'm here." "Good." "Yeah." "No, a little tired." "No, it was good." "Yeah, about 2:30." "Nothing." "Yeah." "Well yeah." "Well, actually, he stayed the night." "He stayed the night?" "He stayed the night!" "What do you mean?" "At her place?" "Has he left?" "Did she have sex with him?" "She had sex with him!" "What happened?" "So, what happened?" "Well, what do you think happened?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it was pretty good." "She'll want some details." "Come on, I want some details." "Not now." "ls he still there?" "I'm coming over." "Forget it." "l won't stay long, all right?" "No way, you'll flirt your ass off." "What do you mean?" "You do it every time I like some guy." "You said "love," remember?" "Listen, he's there for one night." "It was just for sex." "What do you care?" "He was sort of tall, wasn't he?" "He was disheveled-looking." "Call me tomorrow, Sam." "Okay?" "But he won't be there." "is he staying another night?" "He's staying another night?" "Which one was he?" "Was he that English guy?" "lsn't he pasty-looking?" "Must've been a good root." "l talked to him." "l thought he was boring." "Well, is he?" "I don't know." "Look, call me tomorrow, Sam." "And I mean it, don't go blabbing." "Okay." "Bye." "Was he that tall guy she was talking to?" "l didn't see anyone." "Glasses?" "Did he go down on her?" "So sex was good first trip to the crest?" "After?" "What's she done to deserve that?" "Listen, don't say anything." "I promised her I wouldn't blab." "She'll tell everyone." "She'll" "Bloody thing!" "Yeah, being with someone like Cin, it's...." "l don't know, it's seductive, I guess." "She was open." "Confident." "She was never uptight." "There was never any of that having to do it with the lights out." "Well, he was already pretty confident, I guess." "In a quiet way." "But he sort of started to do more." "Fishing around for things that I might like." "He wasn't trying to prove anything." "Perform." "He just felt into it, into me." "I found that a real turn-on." "Keep going." "Keep going." "Don't stop, Josh." "Don't stop." "Three cups of self-rising flour." "Four lemons." "Yeah, keep going." "Keep going." "Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop." "Please, don't stop." "A cup of milk." "A teaspoon of baking powder." "Yeah, don't stop." "Don't stop." "Please." "Please wait for me." "Six eggs." "Eight ounces of butter." "Keep going." "Keep going." "Desiccated coconut!" "Oh, man." "You okay?" "Did I come too quickly?" "No." "lt's okay." "You can tell me." "No." "Yeah, a bit." "But it was fine, really." "You should have said something." "l was trying to slow down." "Shut up, you idiot." "Yeah, the condom came loose and quite frankly, I didn't need the extra friction." "Yeah, I would have liked to have held out but sometimes it starts and you just can't stop." "Well, anyway, I ran out of ingredients." "It really didn't seem to bother him." "I get the shits when guys get all self-conscious." "Like they're worried about their performance." "I don't know, they become more grateful or something." "Grateful?" "Yeah." "You have no idea what some guys are like." "You let them fuck you, and then they get the idea you like them." "Tragic." "Yeah." "And the next morning, there's this eager beaver, this droopy-eyed spaniel." "They suddenly become more needy or something." "You got any food in this place?" "Haven't you got any food?" "Any food?" "Well, look in the fridge." "There must be something." "I meant food you could eat." "What's the big deal?" "I like it cold, okay?" "Stop smiling." "I'm lucky you keep it wrapped up." "It's the only thing in there that was fresh." "No, no way." "You've got a job to be getting back to there." "This is the sort of thing you do." "Sneaking up on poor, defenseless animals in their most intimate moments." "Hang on a minute." "He just comes home from lying in the sun all day and he climbs on top." "No kiss, no "how was your day?" Even a cuddle would be nice." "The breath!" "The breath's unbelievable." "You'd think they'd get sick of the same position, want a bit of variety." "Oh, no." "I don't believe it." "He wants to do it again." "I'm rooted." "When you gonna get some sleep?" "A bit lower." "What, there?" "Yeah, that's it." "Oh, God." "Surely she doesn't want to do it again." "Now we're getting somewhere." "Jeez, don't be so grateful." "He'll think I want to do it again." "I want my bed." "I need to sleep." "No more sex." "God, I can't take it anymore." "I hate sex." "I just want to get into bed." "I just want to go to sleep." "What are you thinking?" "Nothing, you?" "Nothing." "What's wrong?" "I can't get comfortable." "I can't find anywhere to put my arm." "Well, put it behind you." "What, like this?" "Stop it!" "Put it under you or something." "lt'll go to sleep." "That's the idea." "Okay, put it under there." "Good." "Okay, that's enough." "Can you get the light?" "No, this is perfect." "Better not move." "This is torture." "You cannot be serious." "His spare arm was keeping us awake, so it seemed a shame not to." "Look, I was a little bit tired but I was going in the morning." "I mean, if it weren't having sex usually I prefer to sleep alone." "Put the seat down." "is that too much to ask?" "They can kick a goal through a couple of different posts." "Build bridges that join up perfectly in the middle." "Ever heard of an astronaut missing the moon?" "They have a target to aim at, but it still goes everywhere." "All that zigzagging around the bowl." "What's that about?" "They're like dogs, staking out their precious territory." "Put it down. lt's easy." "And it's not just the odd drop." "The place is wet." "Men, they're like wild animals roaming some prehistoric landscape." "They strut around like they're king of the jungle marking up their territory, staking their claim." "Look at him, not a hint of self-consciousness." "Totally oblivious to the impact of his presence." "You can tell he thinks he's a good root." "And for some unknown reason I find that sexy." "Haven't you ever heard of flushing?" "Give me that thing." "On your back." "That's it." "No, really, I thought it'd be a one-time thing." "I don't know, there's something really exciting when you click with someone." "Feeling them become aroused, feeling their hunger and their passion like you've let something out of a cage." "The noises, the heat, that moaning thing, their desire." "Sometimes it's hard to let go of, just like that." "You get past the point where nothing else seems to matter." "You can feel his breath, hear his growl." "It makes you feel invincible." "You're dancing away, and there's this warm pleasure that begins to grow inside the pit of your stomach." "I'm definitely a "yes" girl." ""Yes, yes, yes, yes!"" "A lot of no's." "You know, "No, no, no, no." And every now and then I get religious." "Small birdy breaths." "I don't know." "Passion was beginning to take over." "I mean, I like passion, but it scares the shit out of me at the same time." "It gets away from you." "It starts off as a sex thing and suddenly there's an emotional energy that you can't control." "And you want more and more intimacy." "But there's a price." "You sure about this?" "Hurry up." "What's the big deal?" "Don't you know you should never rush a bride?" "Look, I look ridiculous." "l don't want to do this." "l'll take it off." "Look, come over here into the light." "Come on over here." "I have no idea why I said I'd make this bloody thing." "Why am I doing this?" "Because you're about her size, okay?" "Who's the lucky guy?" "Look, stop complaining." "I've got to be a bridesmaid." "Bridesmaid?" "What do you mean, a bridesmaid?" "You're a grown woman." "Don't you have to be 1 1 to be a bridesmaid?" "No, you idiot." "That's a flower girl." "Hold still. lf you want to stay, you've got to hold still." "Very good." "Look, I want you to stay, okay?" "But I've got to get this done." "You know, what is it about marriage?" "Get married?" "I like the romantic idea, but it's gotta be more than that." "lf it was personal-- -l watched my family fall apart." "I'm happy." "We're happy." "I know he loves me." "lt changes things." "Being the center of attention for the day." "Would that be too hideous?" "But now" "How can you get married and leave your friends and family out?" "So you'd never get married?" "I don't really see the point." "You know you love someone, you're committed to them." "Being married doesn't make any difference." "Never ever under any circumstance?" "Negative." "Not if you had kids?" "Negative." "lf it meant breaking up a relationship?" "No, especially negative." "Not if you really loved someone, and it was important to them." "I wouldn't get involved with someone who needed to be married that desperately." "Well, at least you're open-minded about it." "Who's that?" "Well, how would I know?" "Sam!" "What?" "You said tomorrow." "No, I said, "Call tomorrow," not just turn up." "Well, I just wanted to check and see if you're okay." "Let us in." "That is very kinky." "What have you two been up to?" "Sam, this is Josh." "Josh, Sam." "Yeah, yeah, we met the other night." "Hi." "What can I say?" "I do." "Well, I'd love to see the look on Carole's face." "Who's Carole?" "Not a word. I really mean it." "You haven't been doing it in her wedding dress, have you?" "If she finds out, she is gonna spew." "Think I'm gonna put the kettle on." "Sam, promise me." "What?" "I'm not gonna say anything." "Cin, relax." "And, Josh, can you be careful?" "I think you're gonna wreck it." "How are you supposed to sit in this thing?" "It's not meant for sitting." "l think I better take it off." "lt's fine." "Don't worry about it." "All I want to do is be a princess for a day." "Sam." "I should have just told her." "I'm not jealous of her." "Well, I don't know." "She does it to me all the time." "I mean, I know she doesn't actually want to fuck him but she wants him to want to fuck her." "And I just felt stupid, I suppose, because I've got no right to be jealous." "We spent one night together." "Oh, God, I've had such a stressful week." "You wanna try and get some tea into those cups?" "Pete's back in town." "Pete's this guy I'm seeing." "I mean, not really seeing because, well, he's married." "He's back in town, and I'm trying to do this Rivers of the World thing." "They want it to be good but won't change their deadlines." "So it's gonna be crap." "Sam produces TV documentaries." "All right." "What do you do?" "Josh is a wildlife photographer." "Really?" "Yeah, yeah." "I work for National Geographic and that sort of stuff." "Ever thought of doing any live action?" "Yeah, yeah, but I kind of like to work alone." "You might wanna think about it because maybe we could do something together." "Look, I'll give you my card." "Give us a call sometime." "He's leaving tomorrow, actually." "Leaving?" "Where to?" "l live in London now." "Well, you know I'm in London from time to time." "Shit, Sam!" "Sorry." "That's okay. lt'll wash right out." "Well, I don't want to wash it, okay?" "He's great." "You two obviously having a bit of fun." "Shame he's leaving so soon." "Sam, I think it's time for you to go." "It wasn't his fault." "But I was pissed off." "And there's a lot of unresolved crap between Sam and me." "And I guess I wanted him to-- l don't know." "It's not fair to expect anything." "He just should have never seen all that." "See you later." "Nice to meet you again." "Okay." "Have a good time, did you?" "l'm sorry?" "She certainly pulled your chain." "What are you talking about?" "Do you mind not chucking your clothes on the floor?" "Well, there's one shirt, one pair of shoes." "Well, this would be the perfect opportunity to put them back on again." "Okay." "When am I leaving?" "Well, it's up to you." "Go if you want." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Doesn't seem like nothing." "Okay, it's not nothing." "Well?" "I would have thought it was obvious." "If you don't know, I won't draw it for you." "What the hell is your problem?" "So who's the girl?" "What girl?" "I looked in your wallet." "What do you mean, you looked in my wallet?" "So who is she?" "She's no one." "It's got nothing to do with you." "What are you looking through my stuff for?" "Excuse me, what about all my stuff?" "My life is completely on display here." "This is my home." "It's my friends we have to deal with." "You just waltz in and make yourself comfortable." "I don't even get a glimpse of who you are, what your life's like." "The only thing I know is you're a stupid wildlife photographer." "lsn't this supposed to be casual?" "lt is fucking casual." "See you later." "Like in about 1 0,000 years." "I was angry and frustrated." "None of this should be happening but I'm walking away feeling like I was doing something wrong." "Like I was making a big mistake." "Look, the whole point of it was that it was casual." "You didn't have to deal with that kind of crap." "Taxi!" "You all right there, mate?" "You seem a bit upset, that's all." "She's absolutely crazy." "Bloody meerkats." "Stupid, bloody animals." "So I'm sitting there holding his bloody sock, feeling guilty." "We had our night." "Why didn't I just chuck him out?" "I don't know. I mean, maybe I should have made more of an effort but I thought the idea was you didn't have to make any effort." "I can't do it." "Out you get." "l beg your pardon?" "Can't you tell she's scared?" "Loosen up." "Wouldn't kill you to reveal something about yourself." "And that friend of hers, flirting her ass off with you." "It puts a bit of strain on things, but you can't walk out now." "If nothing else, she needs reassurance." "Since you're such an expert, you go and talk to her." "Okay, okay." "It was supposed to be something casual, and now we're not so sure." "Big deal." "Come on." "What's wrong with expressing some real feeling?" "It's up to you." "Go if you want, turn your back, run away, whatever." "You decide." "But I'm not driving you." "Go on." "Out you go." "What?" "Go on." "Off you go." "Couldn't live with myself if I didn't make you try again." "You have to sleep together and run away." "As soon as you let some sort of intimacy develop, it's-- l don't know, it gets crazy." "I didn't want it to end like that." "Why does it always have to get so--?" "Complicated." "These two kill me." "Yeah?" "Hey, it's me." "Hey, Josh." "Good boy." "What, she kick you out already?" "Come on." "Open up, will you?" "What's going on?" "Nobody here called a cab, mate." "Come on, I haven't got all day." "Hey, chuck us down my bag, will you?" "What's going on?" "l just gotta sort something out." "ln you get." "Unbelievable!" "Look...." "A couple of years ago, I...." "Actually, it was a few years ago now, I had this friend." "You know, a girlfriend." "She was my girlfriend and she wasn't." "Anyway, she was my best friend." "And well, she was the love of my life, I guess." "It was the first time in my life I actually was with someone I was really into." "You know that feeling when you just crave them?" "Anyway, we were pretty young and she didn't really feel the same way, so...." "She wanted me to be close to her, but not too close." "I'd go out with other women, and just as I get a girlfriend she'd offer herself to me." "Just enough to make me feel as though it could happen between us." "But, you know, it never did." "And.... lt started to really wear me down." "So one day I decided I'd had enough." "So that's how I ended up in London." "Anyway, that photo it reminds me of...." "Well, I'm fucked if I know." "Something." "That you loved her." "Sorry. I always laugh when I get nervous." "I don't know." "Look, it was good, but it was also scaring the shit out of me." "We suddenly felt connected." "Sex wasn't just casual anymore." "It was.... lt was passionate." "It was really passionate." "It wasn't about fucking and orgasms and all that." "Well, I mean, it was, but I don't know, it was deeper, more fulfilling." "For me, anyway." "I really didn't want to get into all of that." "I was really asleep." "Good morning." "I made some tea." "Come on." "Where are we going?" "Hey, nice touch." "Didn't want you to think I was a slob or anything." "Hello." "Nice, isn't it?" "Very tropical." "No good?" "Did you boil the water?" "Listen, buster, I know how to make tea." "It's just like making coffee, only with tea." "I made you a cup the other night." "You said you liked it." "That's delicious." "Can I ask you something?" "Yeah." "Was that before or after we had sex?" "Before." "You know it was before." "Exactly." "Like making coffee." "Hey, all that before with Sam." "What was that about?" "Forget it. lt wasn't your fault." "I just felt undermined by Sam." "She dumps all this sexually competitive bullshit over me." "I found it humiliating." "And she uses me so she can feel better about herself, more attractive." "You know, sexier." "Do you think she's sexy?" "I don't know." "Oh, look, I wouldn't wanna fuck her today." "Well, I want you to stay, okay?" "Until you have to go. lf you want." "I mean, I wanna keep fucking you." "I wanna not give a shit when you go tomorrow. I...." "l want you to be some guy I slept with once and then you just pissed off." "I want us to keep having this casual fling." "I love you!" "Shit!" "I can't believe you made me say it again." "You can't help yourself." "Yeah." "It was out of control." "I mean we hardly knew each other." "We fucked, we had a fight." "You walk away." "What were we doing back in bed together?" "Talking?" "You hungry?" "Yeah." "Let's go out and get something to eat." "Ready." "Give me a break, that's too fast." "No, no, no. I'll be quick." "Stop that, Joshua." "Do those buttons back up." "If you're gonna hassle me, it'll just take longer." "It's bullshit. I'm quick." "Five minutes, I'm out, looking good." "This is quick." "If it was just her making herself look good for just one guy...." "Well, okay, but women wanna look great for the rest of the world." "And that can take some time." "Oh, you're kidding." "What?" "What?" "If I'm premenstrual, it can take me a bit of time but I think he could cut me some slack." "Do you like this smell?" "How can a change of jeans and a bit of lipstick take two hours?" "A bath?" "Don't know why she's so paranoid." "Well, I think she's sexy whatever she's got on." "What do you think?" "Perfect, if you were wearing them." "No, I wanna look good." "Yeah, good." "You think so?" "I don't-- l don't know about the skirt." "Fine." "Only fine?" "Does this top go with these shoes?" "Top with those shoes?" "Yeah." "Sure?" "Who the hell looks at shoes?" "That looks great." "Everything goes with those shoes." "The shirt goes with the curtains." "The lipstick and the belt go perfectly." "You're hopeless." "Now, do you like this one?" "Why don't I have anything to wear?" "See?" "Okay, the bath was a good idea." "You didn't really want to go out." "Didn't wanna wait for you to do makeup." "Oh, I'm like lightning." "Just a bit of lippy." "Yeah, one quick coat and then I'm ready to face the world." "Tell me, are you in love with someone in London?" "No." "Are you seeing someone?" "No, not that I know of." "Well, do you like someone?" "I mean, do you have any girlfriends?" "Yeah." "Yeah, some." "What about you?" "Boyfriends?" "Yeah, but I'd never wanna spend the rest of my life with them, you know." "I mean, I like the idea of being close to someone, but...." "So you think we'd be here like this if I wasn't leaving tomorrow?" "No way. I mean, I'd sleep with you, but you'd definitely have to go after that." "No. I guess I'm really good at getting to the sleeping-with bit but not good at going from the sleeping-with bit to the being-with bit." "So tell me...." "Yes?" "How many guys have you got to this sleeping-with bit?" "You want to know how many sexual partners I've had?" "Yeah, if you wanna tell me." "A few." "Quite a few." "How many is "quite a few"?" "I don't know." "You're not going to go all strange on me, are you?" "Because I've slept around a bit." "Of course not." "Nothing wrong with a bit of practice." "Okay, you wanna fuck anything that moves." "What's the big deal?" "You're deranged." "Okay." "Twenty-seven." "No, 28, if we're just counting guys, and 31 otherwise." "I'm gonna take for granted the extra three were women." "Good idea." "Twenty-eight?" "That's a pretty good memory." "Yeah." "I was having this exact conversation with number 2 7 a few weeks ago, and he didn't like it too much." "What, he wanted to know how many?" "Didn't like it?" "Nope." "Hang on, let me get this straight." "You found this guy attractive?" "And you asked him up here?" "Yeah." "You're both naked, you're having sex, right?" "No complaints?" "No complaints." "He should be happy." "l know." "I hate it when guys make you feel like that." "So come on, your turn." "What?" "What, how many?" "Well, I was a virgin before you forced me up here." "Come on, how many?" "l don't know." "Never really counted." "Well, ballpark it." "Okay, I'd say 40 to 50." "Probably closer to 50." "Fifty!" "God, you're such a slut." "All women." "Of course." "So when did you embark on this rampage?" "I was probably about 1 7." "This older woman who must've been all of about 23 just climbed on top and attacked me." "Started humping away." "I must've done it about 50 times." "I'd have been happy with just once." "Fifty times." "We're certainly slacking off a bit." "At that age you only have to be in the same hemisphere as a naked woman and little Elvis starts tapping you on the shoulder." "Well, well, well." "Look what we've got here." "Looks like Elvis is wanting to tap you on the shoulder." "I think he wants to tap you." "When it first goes in, every part of me blushes." "I refuse to let him put that thing anywhere near my mouth." "It definitely turns me on doing it." "I feel really sexy." "It's the best thing in the world." "It's more intense than sex." "I don't let the guy look at me." "I don't think it looks sexy." "I mean:" "It's hardly a good look." "Oh, that feels good." "Lift your hips, will you?" "I'm not a fish." "You're pretty good with a snorkel." "Sometimes you can't get your mouth open wide enough." "If it's a new guy, I want to be down there pronto." "It's pure sex, and I like how powerful it makes me feel." "Puts me in control of the situation." "I like that." "And I can just lie back and lose myself." "It makes me feel really into her, you know?" "This is too good." "I don't know, swallowing it...." "Yes, please." "No." "No, I don't. I couldn't." "Yes, please." "I love you." "Well, maybe if I was in love." "You know I love you." "Please?" "I've done it." "I do it." "But I usually stop just before he...." "Marry me." "Thank you." "Busting!" "What time are you leaving?" "My plane's at 1 or something." "l'd drive you, but" "Oh, no, no. I'll get a cab." "Good. I hate long-winded goodbyes." "Excuse me." "Do you think I'm getting a little fat?" "Think I'm getting fat?" "How would I know?" "I've only known you for three days." "For all I know, you could have lost 50 kilos and been a real porker a week ago." "Yeah, I think I'm getting a bit pudgy." "Sure I can't convince you to stay?" "No. I gotta go." "All right." "Help us make the bed, then?" "Yeah, okay." "Oh, fuck me." "Oh, I just want you to fuck me." "Oh, God!" "Fuck me." "Fucking sexy." "Oh, fuck, you're so fucking sexy!" "Oh, yeah." "lt was a fuck." "lt was just a fuck." "It was like the first night." "Something physical, I suppose..." "...to remind us why we were there." "Something anonymous to help me get rid of how confused I felt." "To make his leaving easier." "Stop it." "Oh, I'm gonna be so late." "You're gonna have to bite it off." "I'm not moving." "Oh, shit!" "Look at the time." "I'll give you a call, okay?" "I'll call you." "You don't have to." "I'm not expecting you to." "Okay. I won't then." "l'm not gonna call you." "Oh, God." "I don't want you to say it." "If you just" "Are you trying to provoke me?" "I gotta go." "Okay." "I'm leaving a fake number over here, okay?" "I just want you to fuck me and then piss off." "Can you believe these two?" "Did he ask her?" "She's only known him three days." "She just went." "l didn't see her talking to anyone." "l" "That's more like it." "What do you got to lose?" "Gone?" "Gone where?" "Fantastic." "It won't last long." "Wait till the blood returns to her brain." "I was stupid, really." "We should've just come out with it." "Coughed up how we felt." "But somehow it just sneaked up on us." "Neither of us wanted to make the first move." "It didn't seem real that what was happening could be possible." "I don't believe it!" "What do you mean, she's gone to London?" "She's crazy." "What about my dress?" "I remember when I was your age." "What a great time." "A world of possibilities." "Can you hurry up?" "Can I give you a word of advice?" "Can I stop you?" "You two have got to start talking to one another." "I'll sue you!" "Oh, it was unbelievable." "There's one no-show, and I got the last seat." "I was as nervous as hell." "But I thought the best thing to do was to surprise him once we're in the air." "Okay, okay." "Okay, pull over, pull over." "Unbelievable!" "It's never easy, is it?" "I was stuck here in London, and he couldn't get on a plane for three days" "Hello." "How's London?" "Well, apart from the cold, the rain, the class system and the English I thought it might be a nice place to live."

"So Mr. Harrington..." "Uh, wait a minute." "Dr. Nourmand?" "Yes?" "Can you just call me Solo?" "Why?" "Well, a-aside from the fact that it's my name, I've..." "I've just been coming here for almost a year now and, uh, frankly, this could be... this could be it for us." "So I was just wondering if we could just end on a less formal note, you know?" "Oh." "Uh..." "Yeah." "Sure." " Well..." " Yeah, I..." "I can call you Solo." "Great." "Okay, good, good." "And you are..." "I'm still Dr. Nourmand." "Okay." "I, uh, I got..." "I got you this jacket." "Oh..." "Well..." "Thank you very much." "I can't accept it, uh... but it is a very nice gesture, nonetheless." "Thank you." "I..." "I think you should just take the jacket." "W-why?" "Because I bought it for you." "Well, do you do that often?" "I mean, do you buy gifts..." "No." "For your... for yourfriends..." " No." " Family?" " No." "No, no, no." " No?" "Just this." "What about this being it?" "Well, I... you know, I just..." "I just spend a very large portion of my time here." "And, uh, you know, to be honest," "I was just walking down the street and I saw the jacket in... in the window and..." " Oh, no." "I thought it would look nice on you." "I don't know, I think you just take the jacket." "No, no, no, I..." "I..." "I am." "I'm considering that." "But I meant..." "I meant "this", as in ourtime here." "Oh!" "Oh, oh." "Well, yeah, I've just run out of money." "I'm broke." "Five days a week here for almost a year just added up a lot quickerthan I thought it would and..." "Yeah." "How do you feel about that?" "Fucked." "I feel fucked." "I mean..." "No, I feel... no, I feel..." " Fucked?" " I feel betterthan I did, right?" " Yeah." "But... but now what, right?" "Well, what do you think?" "Uh, well, you know, I..." "I mean, I..." "I..." "I could..." "I'm going to start writing again." "Try to make a little money." "Well, that's good." " Yeah." " Yeah, that's very good." "Yeah." "Yeah, I'll call you when that happens." "Do you ever consider getting a pet, Solo?" "What?" "Out of the way, jerk-off!" "You know, pal, uh..." "The best thing about buying a dog is that, uh, you can always get rid of it." "I mean, if you don't like it." "The dog, I mean." "When'd you get that jacket?" "This is Jonesy." "You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox." "It's a beautiful day in L.A." "Fucking hell." "Why are there so many people here, man?" "Well, that's the thing about these places:" "a lot of people, you know?" "Some good, some not so good, and some just pure fantasia." "Jesus Christ!" "That never happens to me... ever." "Oh, my God!" "Hello." "Wait a minute." "She might have been the one." " I think I need to go back." " What?" "That was the one." "That was the one." "I got to go grab her." "I got to get her." " I do." " No, you got to be kidding me." " Come on." " Listen, you don't need me." "You don't need me, okay?" "Just grab the first one that looks at you funny." "You ever heard the term "puppy dog eyes"?" "It comes from a place." "That's the place." "I'll be right back." "I love you." "You're good." "You're good." "Mom!" "You said you were going to get it for me." "All right, here's the thing, Brad." "I just need a... a simple dog, you know?" "One that doesn't require a whole lot of maintenance." "Uh, low energy, uh, doesn't need a lot of stuff." "You know, I have a balcony, so one that can use the balcony to use the bathroom would be great." "Uh, you know, just a... a dog that doesn't need to go outside too much." "Or ever." "That would be great, too." "Okay, Brad?" "What do you say, Brad?" "I really should have come in with you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing." "It means nothing." "What?" "You don't like the dog?" "Oh no, it's a cool dog." "It's cool." "Seems calm enough." "It's just really little." "Well, it's a puppy." "I mean..." "No." "I..." "I know." "No, no, no." "Hey..." "Hey, you know what?" "It's about... you like her, I like her." "It's a he." "It's a boy dog." "He." "Boy." "Dog." "Pal, I just want you to be happy." "Okay." "Are you happy?" "Look, he likes you." "I... can you hold the dog?" " But he likes you." " I'm driving the car." "But he wants to go to Daddy." "What's wrong with that?" "He doesn't want to be on... on... on uncle's lap." "He wants to go..." "He wants to go in the back, apparently." "Okay." "Is he going to shit?" "Okay, you've got to be kidding me." "No!" "No!" "Hi, Brad." "It's Solo." "Uh, yeah, the Tongan terrier." "Well, uh, yeah, you know, I tried that crate thing that you told me about and he just went to the bathroom all overthe bathroom." "Well, yeah, see, that's the thing." "I didn't have a crate so I just..." "I thought the bathroom would suffice." "Uh, no, I don't want to buy a crate." "Well, just because I don't have room for a crate." "Okay, well, I'm sure the crates are very decorative, Brad, but..." "Brad, I don't want to buy a crate." "Stop trying to sell me a crate." "Okay, give me the shoe." "Put the shoe down." "Put the..." "Yeah, hi, is this Brad?" "Well, Brad, you fucked me, pal." "This little thing is driving me crazy, man." "I mean, I... you know..." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Okay, Brad, he's peeing on the carpet right now." "What the fuck is a wee-wee pad?" "No." "I just want him to go on the balcony, man." "Look, you know what?" "We talked about this and... and I just..." "I don't think this is going to work." "I just..." "Well, I don't know." "That's a good question." "What the hell do you want me to do?" "I mean, can I just bring him back?" "Hello?" "Hello, Brad?" "Brad?" "What the hell are you looking at, man?" "Casper." "Casper, are you awake?" "You up?" "I don't know." "Pal, the dog shit all over my house." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I don't..." "I don't know what to do." "I hate him." "I just..." "I don't know what to do." "You want to take him back?" "No." "I can't take him back." "There's no refunds." "Well..." "I know this girl..." "Did I wake you up?" "No, no, no." "I just been reading and stuff." "So..." "I used to date her." "I used to fuck her." " What?" " I don't know what I did." "I shot her once." "We fucked... something." "Man, what am I doing?" "I can't give the dog away." "What am I doing, man?" "You're driving the car up to the thing." "Come on." "Don't... don't... don't do this." "This is fine." "This girl does this." "This is what she does." "What do you mean?" "Like, for a living?" "Yes." "No, I mean, she doesn't make money doing it, but it's what she does." "Right up here." "Right up here." " Pull up to the thingy." " I am!" " Go to the thingy." " I don't want to hit it." "You're not going to hit it." "Go to the thingy." "Well, what does she make money doing?" "Jesus Christ." "Well, herfather, um, owns the rights to, like, every great rock 'n' roll song everwritten, among otherthings." "The guywas, like, a major pimp in the '70s." "Killed people and shit." " Okay, he didn't kill people." " Yes, he did." " No, he didn't." " Yes, he did." "Okay, you're just making that up." "Okay, somehow this man ended up owning a lot of valuable stuff." " Well, that's obvious." " Thank you." "I got a train set once." "Oh, he lives here too." "He's just never around." "He's got a place in, what do you call it?" "Europe or some shit..." "Asia." "I don't know." "Would you push the button, please?" " Let's go." " Push the button." " Let's just go." " Push the button." "I don't know." "I'm so bored, I could kill myself." "I don't know, bitch." "Yeah, well, holler later." "I'm supposed to look at this guy's dog right now." "I'll talk to you later." "Bye." "Hey, bitch!" "Hey, Jules." "How you been?" "Misery." "My life's impossible." "I bet it is impossible." "What's really good, mama?" "Come on." "Nothing is good." "You're lying." "So how'd those pictures turn out?" "They are very good." "They're not raunchy, are they?" "No, not at all." "You guys want a bewy?" "You want a bewy?" "Uh, what have you... what have you got?" "Oh, whatever you want." "Well, do you have any scotch?" "I don't know." "Oh." "Hey, are all these dogs your dogs?" "That's right, bitch." "Until they get older, they are." "I take care of them until they're old enough they don't need caring and then I give them away." " Very noble." " Thank you." " Uh, who do you... who do you give them to?" " Whomever." "Well, what if you can't get rid of them?" "Everybodywants them when I'm done, bitch." "Hey, can you stop calling me bitch?" " Whoa!" " Yeah." "No, it's just I have a name." "Yeah, but pal... pal..." " She's not... she doesn't mean it..." " No, I know." "...like, "Hey, what's up, bitch?"" " I know." " Or, "Where's my money, bitch?"" " I know." "You know what I mean?" "It's like, you know..." " What's it like?" " I don't know." "Endearing." "Okay, well, my name is Solo." "Just in case..." "Like Han Solo." "Not, not like Han Solo." "Just like Solo." "Where's the dog, Solo?" "Uh, he's at home." " What do you mean?" " Well, we did make an error." "We didn't bring her." " Him." " Him." "Why not?" " Well..." " Well, I..." "I don't know." "I just figured, you know," "I didn't want to bring him out of the house for no reason." "I figured you'd have some questions." "Is he cute?" "Yeah." "I think so." "Yeah." "Maybe not cute so much." "Well..." "What does he go with?" "What?" "Colours." "You... you mean what colour is he?" "Yeah, sure." "Did you just ask, "What does he go with"?" "I think so." "I'll be in the car." "One second... pal." "Pal." "I don't know, man." "Itjust doesn't seem right." "You know, life is a delicate negotiation." "Do you understand that?" "So..." "What do you want to do?" "I mean, seriously, what do you want to do?" "All right." "Seriously, what do you want to do?" "You want... you want to give this thing a shot orwhat?" "You... or do you want to end up in some rich lady's house with a bunch of other spoiled little dogs?" "'Cause, you know, I mean, if that's what you want, I..." "I got you, you know." "I mean, you know, do you want to shit the house or do you want to let me love you?" "Do you want to let me learn how to love you or do you want to shit the house?" "Do you want to shit the house?" "Do you want to nibble on sneakers?" "I got the place for you." "You know what I'm saying?" "You're a dog." "Yo, fucko!" "Shh!" " Shh!" " Open the door!" "Oh..." "What the fuck is that?" "Thanks a lot, asshole." "Ow!" "Fuck!" "You know, Benny, I really don't think it's appropriate, you showing up at my house in the middle of the night like this." "Shut the fuck up." "Okay, I just wanted to say it just to keep my side of the street clean." "Can I ask you a question?" " What?" " Who's that?" "That's Frank." "Oh, uh, Frank, can I help you with anything?" "Don't talk to Frank, all right." "Frank doesn't even speak English, okay?" "Frank doesn't speak English?" "Yeah, Frank..." "Who else would I be talking about?" "Well, I don't know." "Frank just seems like a very common American name." "Oh, yeah." "Where's he from?" "Ireland." "Frank?" "Benny, can you just tell him not to drink that..." " 'Cause it's my last one..." " Well, what is it?" "Well, it's just a Snapple, but that's not the point." "Get outta here." "When did you get this dog?" "A couple days ago." " And how much did it cost?" " Well, he was on sale." "On sale?" "What sale?" "A fucking dog sale?" "Yeah, I guess so." "Here's the point, jag-off." "Sale or no sale, you're spending money." "My money!" "Well, that's one way of looking at it." "No, that's not one way of looking at it." "That's the way it looks." "That's the way it is." "It's not like the colourfucking blue-green, where some asshole sees blue and the other guy sees green." "In order for things to have an option of appearance, they have to have a fucking option of appearance!" "You know, this is the way it is." "You did this, and that's that." "And why does that dog keep looking at me funny?" "It's a funny-looking dog." "What's her name?" "He." "It's a he." "Oh, sorry." "Excu-use me." "What's his name?" "Uh, he doesn't have a name yet." "He doesn't have a name." "Oh, so I'll name him." "I'd kind of like to be the one that names the dog." "And I'd kind of like you to get to work so you can pay me the fucking money I lent you." "I'm taking this dog." "Frank, grab the dog." "You're not gonna take the dog." "Don't take the..." " You can't take the dog." " Yes, I can." "Oh, come on." "What would you do with him?" "I'm going to eat him." "What difference does it make?" "All right... imagine it like this." "I owe you the money, right?" "I don't need to imagine it." "Okay, well, just imagine the rest." "In order for me to pay you the money I owe you," "I have to get an advance." "And in order for me to get an advance" "I have to write something." "And... and you're here and you're... you're taking dogs and stuff." "And, Benny, I can't do that." "All right?" "That... that dog, that little, fragile dog... that Frank's holding onto just a little too tightly..." "Could you just... ow!" "Okay, that's not necessary." "Well, uh, could you just not squeeze him so tightly?" "Maybe... maybe just..." "Are you squeezing him?" "All right, Frank, give him the dog." "Just give it to him." "Thanks, Frank." "One week you got, and then I'm gonna come and I'm gonna take the dog." "I find out you buy any more animals or see any more fucking doctors," "I'm gonna break your legs." "Okay, Benny, don't saythat." "I hate it when you saythat." "I'm gonna break your legs, okay?" "One week." "Frank, let's go." "Why didn't you just give him the dog?" "I knew you'd saythat." "Well, that's 'cause it's the logical thing to say." "There's a reason people saythings." "Granted, stupid people just shout shit for no reason." "Smart people use logic." "Two days ago you were going to give the dog to what's-her-name." " What's-her-name?" " Jules." "Look, can we just chalk it up to growth?" "Can we just do that?" "That's good, right?" "Let's just chalk it up to growth." "Life is a delicate negotiation." "What the fuck does that mean?" "I've got to keep the dog." " Why?" " I don't know." "Good." "Keep the dog." " You really don't understand, do you?" " No, no clue." "Look, I was a very unhappy person not too long ago." "Hence the 100 or so thousand on the couch." "Ew!" "Are you being shitty?" "What?" "No." " No." " I know how much money I spent." "Was it reallythat much, though?" " I'm kidding." " Don't be shitty." " I'm kidding." " You're an asshole." "Come on." "Look, I'm just trying to do the right thing here, all right?" "That's cool." "That's cool." "And all I'm saying is, you don't got to kill yourself." "Yeah, but you're busting my balls." "I'm not." "Hey, hey, hey." " A little bit." " Listen, in that very "unhappytime", you sold a book." " In my opinion, a very good book." " Don't do that." "I like the book." "I like the book." "Yeah, because it's the only book you ever read." "Wow!" "Now who's being shitty, okay?" "Stop that." "Listen, you had money, you had lots of girls around." "I was miserable." "I was miserable!" "I enjoyed it." "Cas, don't you want to be loved?" " Yeah..." " Wait." "You know, give and receive?" "I do." "Almost every single night." "I have nothing." "And then I give the dog away and then I have..." "I have negative nothing." "A clean carpet, maybe?" "I..." "I know." "I don't understand." " Hey, babe." " Loser." "Can I have some ketch..." "Ketchup?" "Wow." "What's with her?" "I-I don't know." "Um..." "I, uh, I took some shots of her, some nudes, and, uh... and she's crazy." "I don't..." "I don't know." "You know what I need?" " Ketchup?" " No, I need a plan." "Everybody has a plan." "We all need plans." "A plan, huh?" "Yeah, what's your plan?" "I, uh..." "I have a plan." "Well, what is it?" "It's to, um..." "It's to sleep with lots of girls, take pictures of them, eat three times a day." "Stuff like that." "I need more therapy." "You are a good writer." "No, don't do..." "You know, I'm going to do the thing." "La-la-la..." "Don't be a child." "Don't be a child." "Stop it." "Okay, fine." "What's your plan?" "I have a plan." "What is it?" "Uh..." "I-I, uh..." "Love the dog, have the dog love me." "Meet a woman, do the same thing." "Get married." "Kids." "It's a plan." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Pig." "I did not sell the fucking pictures, okay?" "Theywere stolen from me." "You sold naked pictures of her?" "What did I just say?" "Cas!" "Okay, come on." "Come on." "Go play." "Come on, man, we drove all the way here." "Go play." "What?" "You don't want to go play?" "Here." "Here." "Look, I got the ball." "I got the ball." "Okay?" "Oh!" "Ah!" "Come on." "Those are yourfriends." "Go out there." "Come on." "Go get the ball." "Get the ball." "Okay, I'm going to go that way and you go that way, all right?" "Come on, we're here, man." "Come on, man up." "Hi." "Hi." "Do you mind..." "Do you mind if I sit down?" "Yeah, fine." "Just don't hit on me." " What's that?" " I don't want to flirt." "I didn't come here to flirt." "So if that's whyyou want to sit down, no." "But if you're reallyjust looking for a place to sit, then, fine." "Oh, no..." "Yeah, I just wanted to sit down." "Okay." "Oh, man, I need some exercise." "I'm Solo." "What?" "Sorry." "Did you just tell me you were Solo?" "Yeah, I did." "W- why?" "Well, I..." "I just felt uncomfortable sitting here next to you and not saying anything and I didn't want you to think that I was flirting so I..." "Solo's my name, bythe way." "Oh." "Okay." " See, that's where I got confused." " Oh yeah." "Yeah, see?" "That's how wars get started." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Miscommunication." "Right." "That's how wars get started." "Yeah, I didn't get that at first and then I just got it, so then I said it." "Sorry." "Yeah..." "It's kind of weird sitting here not saying anything, though, right?" "Then get up." " Okay." " No!" "Sit down." "Okay." "Hah!" "You're kind of crazy, huh?" "No, no, no, no, no." "I'm not crazy at all." "No." "I've just had a very long run indoors." "Haven't done a whole lot of socializing in the last year, so..." "Right." "Solo, huh?" " Yeah." "Mm-hmm." " Your mom give you that name?" " Yes, she did." " Yeah." " Why?" "Um, it's just a long story." "You want to make it short?" "No." "All right." "Well..." " I'm Lola, Solo." " Hi." "Nice to meet you, Lola." "I'm Solo." " I know." " All right." "Okay." "Well, I feel comfortable now." "So if you want to get back to your book, I'll..." "I'll be quiet." "You know, it's okay." "It's a bad book, so..." " Oh, really?" " Mmm-hm." "I wrote one of those once." " You did?" " Yeah, I did." "Really?" "A bad book?" " Yeah." " I probably read it." "What's it called?" "I'd rather not s..." "I don't know, I don't know..." "I..." "I don't know." "I'd rather not." "Okay." "Hey, there's a lot of dogs here, huh?" "Dog park." "Yeah." "Which one's yours?" "Oh, shit!" "Vito!" "Off!" "Off!" "Oh, my God!" "Look you know, I..." "I really don't want to make a big deal out of this." "Then why are you?" "Well, under normal circumstances," "I wouldn't be, but here and now with the financial state that I'm in and... and, if truth be told," "I sort of feel like you're responsible a little bit." " Okay, how do you figure that?" "Lady, your dog ate my dog." "He didn't eat him, he bit him." "Several times." "Look, I'm sure he's going to be fine." "Well, I hope so, you know..." "No, don't be so dramatic about it." "It's just a couple of scratches." "He was bleeding all overthe place." "Look, I'm not paying forthis." "I feel like by bringing you here," "I fulfilled all my obligations." "I mean, I..." "I'm sorry." "I just..." "I don't feel responsible." "I mean, it... it's a dog park." "Shit happens." "And maybe your dog just really isn't dog park material." "You know what I mean?" "I couldn't agree with you more." "Good." "I'm glad." "Okay, so..." "Well, I'm really sorry about her." "What..." "He." "It's a he." "His name?" "I..." "That's still up in the air." " You haven't named your dog?" " No, I haven't yet." " Well, what do you call it?" " I don't call him anything." "Well, when it's overthere and you want it to come here," " like, what do you say?" " Uh, "come"?" "I don't know." "I haven't really had that problem yet, I just got him." "You should..." "You should name your dog." "I know I should name my dog." "Okay." "Well, Solo..." "Once again, I am really sorry about this, but you know..." "I've got to go." "Vito's in the car and I have to get him home." "Please help me." "Please." "I'm begging you." "Please don't leave me here." "Look, I know we just met and... and... and there's no reason on earth for you to trust me, butjust do it." "Just... just lend me the money and I swearto God, if I have to sell my own bodyto do it," "I'll payyou back, very soon." "Please just help me." "Okay." "I'll help you." "God, I don't know why." "But I'll help you." "They can bill me forthe damages." "Uh!" "No!" " No touch." " Sorry." "This is mywork address." "I'm there every night till 2:00 a. m." "And bythe way, I'm going to be taking your license plate number on the way out." "You don't need to do that." "Nonetheless, that's what I'm going to do." " Okay." " Look, don't screw me here." "'Cause I can't afford this." "Okay." "You're a good lady." "Thank you." "You okay?" "Tsk..." "Excuse me, sir." "We don't allow dogs in the building." "Oh, come on." "You know me." "I'm..." "I'm just here to see Dr. Nourmand." "I've seen you, sir, but that doesn't excuse the fact that we have a "no dog" policy in the building." " Well, I..." " Some people are allergic." "I can'tjust leave him in the car." "Come on, I'lljust be a second." "I'm afraid no can do." "Oh, come on, man." "Is that one of those Tongans?" "Yeah." "Mywife has a thing forthose dogs." "You wouldn't want to sell it, would you?" "No." "No." "I'll tell you what." "I'll hold it for you while you go up." "No." "That's okay." "Okay?" "I'll wait." "Thank you." "Okay." "Have a good day." "How you doing?" "You're hungry, aren't you?" "Mr. Harrington." "Dr. Nourmand, this guytried to steal my dog." "I was trying to do you a favour, you fucking nut-job." "Oh... hey, pal, I saw how you looked at him." " All right?" " Mr. Harrington, please." "He tried to bring the dog in the building." " It's fine, Joe." " Sorry about that." "It's fine." "Good night." " Good night now." " Asshole." " What are you doing?" " No, I just want to..." "I just want to talk to you for just one second." " No!" " Please?" "Please?" " No!" " Look, I..." "No, Mr. Harrington." " I just want to talk to you." " No." "This is completely unorthodox." "I've been waiting forthree hours, man." "How long have you been coming to me?" " Uh, almost a year." " Almost a year." "So you understand the policy of the office." "It's not a big deal." "Don't worry..." "It is a big deal, sir." "You're breaking protocol." "You don't need to call me "sir"." "That's a little impersonal." "Look, man, I know this is way out of line forthe doctor/patient relationship, but that's the thing, I'm not your patient anymore." "Mr. Harrington, you do not..." "Solo!" " Solo!" "Whatever!" " What's yourfirst name?" "That is not necessary." "Well, it is if we're going to be friends." "Look, okay, okay." "Look," "I know we can't be friends." "I'm not some nut-job." "I'm not stalking you." "I just... can we just talk for a second?" "Please?" "I swearto God, I'm not going to make this into a habit." "Look, look." "I got the dog." "What happened to it?" "It got into a fight with a pit bull." "Come on, man!" "This can never happen again." "I mean, never." " I understand." " It is completely unorthodox for our purposes here, or upstairs, wherever." " I understand." " I mean, if you want to see me, you have to make an appointment." "Okay." "I want to hear you say it." "If I want to see you, I have to make an appointment." " Thank you." " Look, under normal circumstances, I would." "But I can't, I'm broke." "You know that." "Is he going to go to the bathroom back there?" "Uh, yeah." "He might." "Look, I'm just going to make this quick, all right?" "Please." "Did I buythis carfor you?" " Mr. Harrington!" " Okay." "I... just kidding." "I'm kidding." "Look, I'm in a really bad spot here, okay?" "Now, you told me to get the dog, all right?" "No." "I did not tell you to get that dog." "You kind of did." "I did not." "Okay, you said, "pet"." "You weren't implying that I get a snake, were you?" "Listen, in orderforwhat I do to have any sort of relevance..." "Do you have a biscuit or something?" " I mean, the..." " Quiet." "Quiet!" "Shh!" "In orderforwhat I do to have any relevance," "I nevertell anybodywhat to do orwhat not to do." "Okay, fine, doctor." "I got the dog." "Yes." "I can see that." "And I think that's good." "Are you fucking with me?" "No!" "I would never do that." "Why is it good?" "You tell me." "I almost got rid of it three times this week." "I have no idea why it was good." "Why didn't you get rid of it?" "Because he's mine." "I don't know." "One second, he's just a dog, and the next thing I know, he's mine." "I think that's progress." " Oh, really?" " Yes!" "Just tell me what's troubling you." "What's troubling me?" "Well, let's see, I'm broke." "Like, food-stamp broke." "The... the dog's looking at me like," ""What the fuck are we going to do?"" "I'm looking right back at him like," ""I have no fucking idea. "" "I..." "I just wanted something simple." "This... the whole thing back-fired." "This is the... the furthest thing in the world from simple." "I..." "I can't write because I'm scared to death that I'm going to..." "I'm going to be right back where I started." "But none of that mattered because I..." "I was seeing you." "And now I don't even have that and so I feel fucked." "Life is a delicate negotiation." "What the fuck does that mean, anyway?" "Well, it means something different for everybody." "Can you be more vague?" "What do you want?" "Man, I just want to be happy." "Can you be more vague?" "What's he doing?" "Look, sorry." "It's okay." "It's just a dog, man." "Are you robbing me?" "Hey, bitch." "What..." "What are you doing on my couch?" "Chillin'." "How did you guys get in here?" "This isn't exactly Fort Knox." "Ted's good with cheap doors." "Oh really?" "Ted, did you know that breaking into somebody's house is illegal?" "Don't waste yourtime." "He doesn't speak any English." "Oh, sorry, Ted." "Now bring that little bean over here and let me have a peak-a-boo." "What?" "No!" "No, you guys have to leave right now." "Oh, look at the little bean!" "Oh my God, to die." " Okay, okay." " Oh..." "What happened, lil' bean?" "Huh?" "What's wrong with him?" "Uh... n-nothing's wrong with him." " He's fine." " He doesn't look fine." "Does he have something?" "What... have something?" "What do you mean?" "Like hives, scabies, rabies, some undiagnosed disease." "No." "No, no." " You sure?" " Yes, he... he got into a fight." "Oh..." "Okay, I'll take him." "No, no." "You're not going to take him." "He's no longerforthe taking." "He belongs to me." "He's mine." "Look, I appreciate you coming by." "That's really nice." "Thank you, Ted." "But, really, you... you have to leave." " How much?" " How much what?" "How much forthe dog, bitch?" " Now I'm gonna break your legs." " Benny!" "What?" "Are you selling that fucking dog?" "Benny!" "No, I'm not selling the dog." "You better not be." "Wait, who's this?" "Who's this?" "Oh, great, a tough guy." "Ted!" "Wait." "Ted, relax, all right?" "Yeah, Ted, sit the fuck down." "No, Benny." "Ted doesn't speak any English." "Oh, good." "Neither does Frank." " Frank!" " Okay, look, everytthing's fine here." "Jules, this is Benny." "Benny, this is Jules." "Ted, Frank, you guys have met." "That's great." "Everybodyjust relax, okay?" " All right, what the fuck." "Jules?" " Yes, honey?" " You want to buythat dog?" " Yes, I do." "Are you selling this fucking dog?" "You better not be." "I'm not selling the dog, all right?" "The dog's not for sale." "Everytthing's for sale." "Not this dog." "That dog belongs to me." "Okaywell, that's really not true, Benny." "Shut up, you." "Wait." "The dog belongs to you?" " That's right." " Well, how much do you want for her?" "First of all, it's a he dog." "Okay." "Can you just... please not tell me to shut up?" "I... you know, I don't want to be rude or anything..." "Then shut the fuck up." "Okay." "This guy owes me money." "I'm tired of waiting for it." " You understand?" " Yeah, I do." "Now, just tell me the sum of which he owes you," "I'll give it to him to give to you, then he can give me the dog!" "Everybody gets what theywant." "You're a very smart lady." "You seem to have picked up on everytthing that's going on here." "Oh, my God..." "But you know what?" "What you're not gathering is that the money is not the issue anymore." "Athing has developed between me and the dog." " Oh-h..." " I..." "I can't explain it." "Fortunately, I don't have to." " I want the dog." " So do I." "Well, so do I." " Shut up!" " Shut up!" "Okay." "I should warn you ahead of time," "Frank is an undefeated cage fighter." "Ted trained with the Gracies in Brazil for eight years, so we're not worried." "So, winnertakes the dog?" "Wiinnertakes the dog." "Wait, wait, where's the fucking dog?" "What the fuck?" "My dog." "Fucking psychopaths." "This is Jonesy." "Wake up, you lazyfuckers." "It's time to take in that miserable L.A. sunshine." "Get up, you fucking cunts." "So, um, what are you going to do?" "I" " I don't know." " You need money?" " Yeah." "Yeah, you're fucked." "Hey." "Is it... is it all right if I stay here for... just for a couple of days?" "What do you mean?" "What do you mean what do I mean?" "Well..." "Is the dog going to shit?" "Well, not if we don't feed it." "Do we have to feed it?" "Do you, uh, want to go to this place with me tonight?" "No, I can't." "I'm supposed to shoot this lesbian tonight and I've really been looking forward to it." "I have to go here." "Do you know what this place is?" "No." "It's just where this girl works and I have to tell herthat I don't have the money that I owe her and that I'm just a complete asshole." "And you don't know this place?" "No." "I do." "I better come with you." "No way." "No way." "What?" "Okay, she's got to be a cocktail waitress." "No, I don't want to..." " I don't want to..." " Shh..." "Hot in here" "I like to move, yes..." "What can I get you guys?" "Uh, yes, I'd like a shrimp tempura hand roll, please." "What?" "It was a joke." " He was... he's kidding." " Yeah, a beer." "Any beerwould be great." "Thank you." "I don't see her." "I don't want to be here right now." " Relax." " Come with me, honey." "Really?" "Like that?" "This place is a'ight." "I just... no, I..." "No, don't worry, this one's on the house." "I..." "No, I know that's really nice, but I'm just looking for somebody." "For real." "I..." "I..." "I'm really..." " Just relax." " Wait!" " It's on the house." " Oh my God..." "I wasn'tshakin'" "Then I was shakin'so hard" "That's when I saw a mean woman" "Strutting in the yard" "She gotthe shakes, yeah" "She shake it realcool" "Yeah, she make me starta'dancing" "Now she makes the rules" " Breathe, baby." " Stop!" "You knowwe move, yes we move" "'Cause we like our dancing" "Yeah" "You knowwe move, yes, we move" "'Cause we like our dancing" "Yeah, yeah" "You knowwe move, yes we move" "'Cause we like our dancing" "Stop it!" "Stop." "You knowwe move, yes we move" "'Cause we like our dancing" "You knowwe move, yes we move" "'Cause we like our dancing" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Don't move." "Don't move." "Whoa, ho..." "Oh... oh my God." "Did you just..." "Okay, this is really awkward." "I..." "I..." "All right, let's hear it for Margo." "All right, come on, guys." "If you liked her routine, let her know." "Oh, God." "Now I'm going to feel really dirty asking forthe moneyyou owe me." "Yeah." "Well, you can imagine how dirty I'm going to feel when I tell you I don't have it." "I'm s..." "I..." "What?" "Well, see, that's why I came here." "I just didn't want you think that I was going back on myword." "Look, just come back when you have it." "Well no, see, that's the thing." "I don't know when that's going to be." "And I just want you to know that I'm working on it, all right?" "Look, I'm here." "Okay, wait." " Could you just hold on for just a sec?" " What?" "Well, I just feel a little stupid." "What?" "About that?" "Yeah, a little bit." "Yeah." "Don't feel stupid, sweetie." "It happens." "Not often, but it happens." "What happened?" " "Sweetie"?" " He got a little excited." " What do you mean?" " No." "She means nothing." ""Sweetie" makes it a little worse, don't you think?" "Excited how, though?" " Look, shut up!" " Okay." "I see how that can be misconstrued," "But that's not how I meant it." "No, it's just a little condescending." "I get it, but that's not how I meant it." "I..." "I know." "But you know what I mean." "Totally." "I..." "Okay, look." "Uh, you... you two seem like you have a lot to talk about, right?" "This is clearly not the place." "I say breakfast." "Hi, I'm Casper." "I'll be paying for breakfast." "Um, I'll need a friend, too, though." "So, um, if you could grab one of your colleagues, preferablythe one dancing on stage right overthere, that'd be great." "We'll grab a bite." "What do you say, 2:00 a. m.?" "Here's yourwig." "Let's go." "Shut up." "Her?" "Okay." "I'm a..." "I'm a fantastic guy." "I want you to know that." "All right." "I'm just going to get a couple of things." "Wait, what?" "Like, clean underwear and stuff?" "Okay, would you shut up?" "I just can't believe that!" "Shut up." "It's not funny." "Really?" "Like..." "Hurry." "All right." "Thank you." " So, Candy, um..." " Yes, hi." "That's not your real name, is it?" "No." "That is my real name." "Oh, so then what... what's your stripper name?" " Pal!" " What?" "I don't know." "What?" ""Stage name"?" "I apologize." "But everybody's so touchy." "Well..." "No, it's okay, um..." "My stripper name is Margo." "Margo." "That's great." "Margo, that's good." "And... and Candywould work too, for your, uh, stripper name." "That's just an opinion." "I'm sorry." "Don't... for what?" "Don't you dare..." "Don't you dare be sorry." " Ever." "About anything." " What are you doing?" " What are you doing?" " Come here." "Sorry!" "Don't... oh, my God, she feels so good." "Everywhere." "Itjust feels good." "What?" "Pal, come on." "What?" "How do we look together?" "Seriously, give me an honest answer." "How do we look together?" " Oh, my God." " Amazing, right?" "Good, right?" "Really... really good." "Right?" "Amazing." " Right." " Oh, my God." "Did you see the thing?" " Babe, do you realize something?" " What?" "That I..." "the puppythat we would have together." "Un... can you imagine?" "Can you imagine?" " Really?" " Casper and Candy?" "Candy and Casper." "Oh, my God." "It sounds right." "It's like it makes sense." "Right." "It's logical almost!" " You're crazy." " I love you." " Stop it." " It's true." " Stop." " I have to show you something, right now." " Why?" " Well, come on." "Oh, look a goose!" "Where'd that come from?" "Uh..." "Thanks for going along with this." "It's okay." "I'm hungry." "Oh, really?" "I hearthe osso bucco's just amazing here." "All right." "What's the story?" "What, the whole story?" "Orwhat... what... what story do you want to hear?" "No, I mean... we have some time here." "So, let's start with your name." "Why Solo?" "Oh..." "Well, uh, when I... when I was... when I was younger... when I was born my, uh... my mother considered giving me up for adoption... several times." "And then myfatherwasn't around and she figured I'd end up alone, one way or another, so she, uh... she named me Solo." "That's it?" "Mm-hmm." "Hippy shit." "That wasn't a long story." "I mean, the other dayyou told me it was a long story." "That wasn't." "That was... short." "It was nice, to the point." "I liked it." "Well, I'm glad." "So then what happened?" "Are you serious?" "Well, I'm hoping that at some point we're going to get to the money that you owe me but you know," " Oh, right, yeah." "I don't want to rush you or anything." "Yeah... is this making your eyes cross a little bit?" "How long have you been a stripper?" "How long have you been a writer?" "Why are you a stripper?" "What's the name of your book?" "Itjust... itjust doesn't seem like you're that kind of girl." "Look, I make a lot of moneytaking off my clothes." "You're a writer and you're broke, so don'tjudge." "What's the name of your book?" "Do you reallywant to know?" "Mm-hmm." ""The Naked Abyss. "" "Piece of shit." "Thank you." "You read it." "Yeah." "I read it." "Really bad." "I mean, extraordinarily bad, exceptionally bad." "That was actually one of the reasons why it... it stood out to me." "Well, I'm glad I left a mark." "No." "Actually, there's good news." "Yeah, there is." "I'm no longer a writer, which is good news for you and the rest of the book-reading world." "But bad news for me because I can't even afford to buy dog food." "No." "I remember reading it thinking:" ""God, this guy is actually a really good writer." "What is he doing writing such a piece of shit?"" "Well, look at that, ladies and gentlemen, not only can she produce orgasm without taking a single article of clothing off, but she's a critic as well, with insight." "Wow, you're really a pervert." "I know, I know." "Hello!" "We just, uh, made out in the parking lot." "He's a good kisser." "Let's get the fuck out of here." "How about that?" "Let's go back to my place." "Let's get the food to go." "We'll go back and we'll take some pictures and do some fun stuff." "What do you say, Solo?" "Solo?" "Like your... that's your name-name, Solo?" "No, honeyyou... you can't..." "Your name is Candy." "You know, so, like, if you had a name like Pam or Ruth or even Betsy, you could saythat to him, but you can't because your name is Candy." "Dude, you're soaking wet." "I'm sorry." "No, it's fine." "You know what I find really boring?" "Besides my book?" "Yeah, besides your book." "You know, the crazything is that I couldn't agree with you more." "Every... everytime somebodytells me they liked it," "I feel sick to my stomach." "It was a very successful novel, forthe record." "All right." "Can we talk about me for a second?" "Okay, yeah." "Sorry." "All these girls who I work with, they're always talking about what they're going to do when they make enough money." "I mean, one's a painter, one's a singer..." "Lots of artists." "Open a boutique, start their own clothing line." "I mean, everybody has something." "I..." "I don't know if they really believe it or if it's just some sort of excuse they have for justifying what they're doing with their lives." "But the point is..." "I don't have an excuse, Solo." "It's what I do." "It's myjob." "I was a hairdresserfor six years, a really good one." "And I make more money in one night than I made cutting hairfortwo weeks." "So, I'm sorry about the water, but sometimes people think differentlythan I do and... it makes me mad." "It bums me out." "You know what?" "I'm a loser." "I..." "I'm..." "I'm..." "I'm no one to judge you." "I..." "I watch war documentaries and I spend most of mytime in my apartment eating Domino's pizza." "I..." "I..." "I spent an astronomical amount of money on therapy because I wrote a shitty book." "I owe people money, including you." "I..." "I..." "I'm lonely." "I'm tired." "And I'm just trying to figure it all out." "You know, I spent almost a year in daily psychoanalysis and the grand, overwhelming conclusion is that I should buy a pet." "So you bought a dog." "Yeah." "I bought a dog." "Well, I think that's commendable." "Oh good." "Yeah." "The... the highlight since buying him was when he shit all overthe linoleum instead of the carpet." "But I'm glad you think that's commendable." "No, I do." "I think you're on the right track." "Yeah well, you know." "You have a dog." "No." "You got me." "I don't." "Well, what about Vito?" "Vito belongs to a friend." "I... walk him occasionally." "I mean, I get lonely, too." "See?" "I got things, you got things." "Life, it's a delicate..." " Negotiation." " Yes." "Wait a minute." "Wait." "Is that what you were about to say?" "Yeah." "Do you know a Dr. Nourmand?" "What's his first name?" "Oh..." "Pal!" "I'm sorry!" "She was doing stuff!" "Oh, how are you?" "Little kibble and bit." "Oh, look at her." "What's her name?" "It's a boy." "That's not mine." "Oh." "What do you guys want to drink?" "Uh, whatever." "Please tell me you've named the dog." "Uh, yeah, I haven't really had time yet." "I have to shoot pictures of her right now." "You make them drinks, okay?" "Well, what do you have?" "Nothing, really." "Hey, hey, I know." "He's a cute..." "He's so cute." "So... you haven't had time?" "Uh, yeah, things have been really crazy." "You know, he doesn't really have drinks or anything like that." " I'm not thirsty." "Oh, that's good." "You should name your dog." "Oh, I will." "I will." "Hey, do you think she wants a drink?" "Well, I don't think it matters if there's, you know..." "Right." "I guess not." "Uh, maybe we should go out and get some drinks." "I mean, we just... you know, I mean..." "Well, it's 3:00 a. m." "Yeah." "Let me just go ask them really quickly." "Okay." "What are you doing?" "Get out of here." "You know, I think I might have some drinks at my house if you want to just go and maybe we could hang out and talk and whatever and have some drinks." "As long as you promise never, everto saythe word "drinks" again." " Yes, then..." " Right." "Okay." "I'd love to hang out with you." "Yeah." "Okay, great." "Okay." "All right." "Don't look at that." "Hey, baby, right here." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Oh, holler at your boy!" "Yes!" "This is a sexy party and Candy's involved." "Candy's involv..." "Look at that." "Oh my God!" "Holler back!" "You know, I've never actually liked small dogs." "I mean, the constant yapping for nothing." "But, I don't know, he has a big dog disposition." "You know, he looks at you like he thinks he's tough." "I think I like him." "Uh, can you just give me one second?" "You know, I don't care if your place is messy." "It is." "And I..." "I... just give me one second, okay?" "Okay." "Whew, your daddy has major issues." "What the fuck?" "I don't have drinks." "I said "drinks"." "Yeah, you did." "Hey, do you want to just go somewhere?" "You know, like, go somewhere and talk and whatever." "We can talk and..." "I'm sorry." "I'm being an idiot." "You're not being an idiot." "Oh, thanks." "It's getting late." "Why don't we just call it a night?" "No, it's not getting late." "Look..." "I've had a... time." "Yeah, me too." "But I think maybe I should just go home." "Oh, okay, yeah." "Can I come?" "Man, that dog can eat." "Yeah, it's been awhile." "What?" "I'm a terrible master." "You don't feed your dog?" "No." "I..." "I do." "I feed him." "Uh, I tried to, you know, but then I had to go, and then when I came back to get the food it spilled all overthe place and then... and, uh... he... he doesn't like to, uh, eat peanut butter," "and so, uh..." "I'm reallytired right now." "All right..." "Um..." "Why don't you relax?" "What?" "I don't know, like, take your shoes off..." "Okay." "Make it comfy." "Relax." "Here, this is good for your back if you put it betw..." "Yeah." "Do you want to lay down next to me?" "Not so much." "Hypothetically speaking?" "Not so much." "How come?" "Let's just relax." "Okay." "I swore myself to celibacy." "Well, I said lay down, not take your clothes off." "But I..." "I also said hypothetically speaking." "I mean, would you like to is more... the question." "And I said, not so much." "I know." "Twice." " Why?" " It's just not mything." "Well, it's not really mything, either." "And that's why I thought... it'd be nice." "No, really." "No, eat, sleep, therapy, repeat." "That's... that's... that's me." "I bet I haven't done the thing longerthan you haven't done the thing." "Two years." "That's longerthan me." "Yeah." "No, I mean, I used to see guys who would come into the club and each one, I'd think, "Oh, God, this is different. "" "You know, "It's supposed to be. "" "And, "It's meant to happen." "It's fate. "" "And... nothing panned out." "Wait, you'd go home with guys from Cheetah's?" " Don'tjudge me!" " Sorry." " You're here." " That's different!" "Yeah." "See what I mean?" "Yeah." "Hey..." "He really likes you." "There's something that's special about this dog." "You know, it's funny you should say that." "Not that I would, but I could have sold him for ten times the amount of what I paid for him several times this week and it's only Friday." "It's Thursday." "Yeah." "See?" "There are people readyto pay big money forthat little dog." "Really?" "Yeah." "You can come with me." "Hello?" "Hello, Lola?" "Hello?" "Doggie?" "Casper!" " Casper!" " Freeze!" " Oh, sorry." " Agh!" "I'm sorry." "Don't everfucking do that again, man!" "That was awful." "Fuck!" "What is going on?" "Your friend's a thief." "That's what's going on, all right?" "What?" "She's a dog thief." "She stole my dog." "All right." "Please just relax for one second, okay?" "I still have a hard-on here." "Tell me what happened." "I went to sleep, I woke up, the dog was gone." "No Lola, no dog." "Okay, why would she steal your dog?" "'Cause she's a thieving stripper!" "I wouldn't steal your dog." "Oh, really?" "What if you thought you could get a lot of money for him?" "Uh." "Well, then, yeah, I would." "Yeah." "See?" "See?" "No, no, no, just wait." "You woke up where?" "At her house." " Lola's?" " Yeah." "Did you hit it?" "No, I did not hit it!" "Sorry." "Oh, man, I can't believe this horseshit!" "All right, all right, all right." "Maybe... just throwing it out... maybe she just took the dog for a walk?" "That's interesting." "Why don't you just go back overthere and see?" "Yeah, I'm just going to do that." "I'm going to go back to her house, you know." "The dog's probably there just chilling and, you know, I'm making... going crazy." "I'm going to go back there." "She won't be there." "What?" "She's not?" "Why?" "Because she has Legs 'N Eggs today." "Okay." "What the fuck is Legs 'N Eggs?" "Legs 'N Eggs is the, uh, the day shift... at the club." "Oh, so she's at the place?" "Yeah." "Okay." "I'm going to the place." "Good luck." "Is that bad that I'd take the dog?" "Lola, will you toss me that top?" "Hey!" "Are you kidding me?" "Hi." "Lola, where's my dog?" "I took him to your house." "Okay." "I'm going to ask you one more time, and I sw..." "Wait, why'd you do that?" "I woke up, I took him for a walk." "When I got back, you weren't there so I had to go to work." "I..." "So I thought I'd just take him to your house." "And the door was open so I just let him in." "I..." "What?" "Is there a problem?" "No." "Was anybody there?" " I don't know." " Are you absolutely positive?" "No." "That's what I just said." "I don't know." "Right." "What?" "Did you think I stole him or something?" " No." "No, I was just..." " Okay." "I'm not..." "I..." "I just didn't..." "I couldn't." " I don't know where he is." " Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm okay." "Sorry." "Strange." "Pills, pills, gonna cure my ills" "Pills, pills, gonna cure my ills" "Do you want to fuck with me?" "Now I'm pissed." "Fuck with me now." "I'm coming, little dog." "Yes, may I help you?" "Yeah, I'm here to install the thing." "Pills, pills, gonna cure my ills" "Pills, pills, gonna cure my ills" "I don't believe I heard you correctly." "Excuse me." "Jules!" "Hey, bitch?" "Can I help you, sir?" "Jules!" "Where's the dog?" " Did you bring him?" " Where is he?" "This man would like to know where..." " Go away, Jeffrey." " Yes, madam." " Scotch rocks, Jeffrey." " Right away, sir." "All right, where is he?" "And I swearto God" "I'm not playing around." "Oh, look, he has testicles." "Where's who, fuck-face?" "Okay, you know what?" "Don't do that." "Why don't..." "I..." "I just want my dog." "I..." "I want my dog right now." "Yeah, well, I wish I had him so I could tell you to go fuck yourself." "What the hell is going on down here?" "What the hell is he doing..." "What are you doing here?" "I'll be asking the questions here, fuck-face!" "Where's the dog?" "All right, what's with the "fuck-face"?" " I mean, really?" " He doesn't have him." "All right, now I'm breaking your legs." "That's it." "All right, pal, put some clothes on." "20-year Macallan, sir." "Oh, thanks, Jeffrey." "Hey, Jeffrey, can you set me up with one of those omelettes that you do?" "Um, I'm starving here." "Right away, sir." "Madam?" "Go away, Jeffrey." "Yes, madam." "Hey, baby, be nice to Jeffrey." "He's a good guy." " Whatever." " What, she's "baby" now?" "She's "baby"?" "I mean, give me a fucking break here." "Well, if you must know, you nosy little prick," "We are now together." "You know, it's difficult in life to find people with common interests." " Oh!" " Which is besides the point." "Where's the fucking dog?" "He doesn't have the dog, stupid." "He thinks we have the dog." "We don't have the dog." "You really don't have the dog?" "What did she just say, stupid?" "Hey, where are the bodyguards?" "Hospitalised." "Oh." "Oh!" "Uh!" "Uh!" "A-ah!" " Ah!" " Oh, get up." "I" " I reallywant to apologize to you for earlier." "I was a complete asshole." "But I had a little bit of a freak-out because last night when we went back to my place and I walked in and there were two people sleeping in my bed..." "Do you mind if I sit down?" "I am so sorry." "No, no, no, no." "It's not yourfault." " No, it is." " No, come on." "I feel like I could kill myself." "Don't do that." "I think I'm going to cry." "Okay, really, don't do that." "I'm bad with that." "I..." "I would much rather you kill yourself." "Don't you want to cry?" "I mean, maybe we should crytogether." "I just..." "I just can't figure it out." "No, I..." "I shut the door." " I..." "I put him inside..." " No, no, it's not that." " and then I shut the door..." " No, I believe you." "I just..." "I just feel like somebody's laughing at me." "Like I..." "I'm just trying and trying and it's just impossible." "And I..." "I don't..." "I..." "I feel like I can't win." "Yeah, it sucks to care about something." "Everytime you do, it has a bad ending." "Come on." "I'll take you home." "Three new messages." "First new mess..." "Yo." "What's really good?" "It's me." "Tell him I said hi." "Candy says hi." "We're just, uh... we're just sitting here." "I hope you're okay." "Let me know if there's anything I can..." "Hey!" "Sorry, "we" can do." "And call me right away if you hear anything." "Message erased." "Next message, se..." "Hey, it's Jules." "Yeah, we're just driving around right now looking forthe bean." "Do me a favour, call my cell and let us know if you find him or hear anything." "I'm gonna..." "What?" "Oh." "Yeah." "Benny says he's going to fuck you up for breaking his nose." "Anyway, 310-613-21..." "Message erased." "Next message, sent on..." "Hey, this is Brad from Petlove." "Look, I don't know what kind of sick person you are." "I mean, from the few conversations we've had," "I assumed there was something wrong with you." "But had I known you were capable of something this low," "I neverwould have sold you the dog in the first place." "You really should consider some counselling, sicko." "I mean, you don't want the dog, fine." "There's millions of people that would love to have him." "Here's the deal." "I'm calling the Humane Society." "You want to talk?" "I'm here till 8:00." "Message saved." "End of messages." "What the fuck?" "Doggie?" "Look ahead as we pass" "Try and focus on it" "I won'tbe fooled" "By a cheap cinematic trick" "Itmust have been" "Just a cardboard cut-out of a man" "Top-40 cast-off from the record stand" "Walkin'in L.A." "Walkin'in L.A." "Nobodywalks in L.A. Walkin'in L.A." "Walkin'in L.A." "Nobodywalks in L.A." "I don'tknow" "Could have been a lame jogger, maybe" "Or someone just aboutto do" "The freeway strangler, baby" "Shopping cartpusher or maybe someone groovy" "One thing's for sure" "He isn't starring in the movies" "'Cause he's walkin' in L.A." "Walkin'in L.A." "Onlya nobody walks in L.A." "Walkin'in L.A." "Walkin'in L.A." "Nobody walks in L.A. Walkin'in L.A." "Walkin'in L.A." "Onlya nobody walks in L.A." "Walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin'" "Nobody's walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin'" "Nobody's walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin'" "Nobody's walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin'" "Nobody's walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin'" "Nobody's walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin'" "Nobodywalks in L.A." "Are you trying to tell me that dog walked all the way over here by itself?" "That's what I'm telling you, Brad." "You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox." "looks like it's going to rain today in this fuckin' hole." "I am so fuckin' overthe moon it's not funny." "Well, maybe it's betterthis way." "Who knows?" "I think I might marrythis girl." "Candy." "I really like her." "I'll kill you, pal." "I'll kill you." "Oh, get the fuck outta here." "Look at this." "Bang!" "Hey!" "How'd he do that?" "How the fuck did he learn how to do that?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "He does it when he hears a horn, too." "I think that when he ran away he had a close call with a car or something, and thought he was dead." "Hey." "Hey you." " Hey!" " Hey." "Bang!" "Not for me." "It's all right." "It's good that you have it and I don't." "Hello." "Ugh!" "Really, lady, just relax, okay?" "It's just underwear." "Well, I think you're making the right decision." " You do?" " I do." "It's not some sort of repeat abandonment thing or anything?" "I don't know." "Is it?" "Okay, don't do that." "Don't do what?" "Okay, you're still doing it." "Why did you buythe dog?" "So... so I could love it." "Okay." "Then why are you doing what you're doing now?" "Just because I think it's the right thing to do." "Good." "Now out of what place?" "Out of what place are you going to do it?" "I mean is it, what, fear?" "Uh, confusion?" "Is it frustration?" "I mean, is just that you simply can't handle it?" "No." "Then what is it?" "It's love." "It's Howard, bythe way." "What?" "My name." "Howard." " Hey." " Hey." "Oh, you're all wet." "Come... come in." "No, wait... you know," "I wanted to show you something really quickly." "Oh, my God!" "You found him." "Where was he?" "Hi, little buddy." "Oh, where was he?" "Oh, it's a long story." "Oh, come in." "I totallywant to hear it." "Well, uh, actually, I g..." "I got to go." "I, uh..." "I'm..." "I'm taking off for a little bit." "Afriend of mine just bought a hotel up in... up in Needles, New Mexico, and I... and I thought that, uh..." "well, I..." "I kind like the way it sounded, Needles, New Mexico." "It has a nice alliteration." "Anyway, I..." "I thought it would be a good idea to... to, uh... to get away and tryto get some writing done." "Right." "And, uh..." "I just wanted to say goodbye and... thank you." "And, uh..." "And what?" "Well, I-I want you to have him." "What?" "You're wrong." "It's good to love something." "Painful or not, it's worth it." "I think..." "I think the onlything worse than having something and living with the fear of losing it is not having it and..." "and looking back with regret." "'Cause life is a..." "is a delicate negotiation." "And I know it's none of my business, but I think you should go back to cutting hair." "I..." "I..." "It's just an opinion." "You can take it or leave it." "I can't take your dog, Solo." "No, you need him." "No." "Why not?" "Believe me, I..." "I want him but he think he's... he's much better off with you." "He's safer, anyway." "You can... you can have..." "Do you want him?" "I do." "Yeah, I do." "I do." "Good." "Good." "That's good." "Well, I'm going to leave before I start crying, okay?" "Okay." "Oh, I..." "I name..." "I named him, bythe way." "You can change it if you want, but I named him Spot." "Spot?" "You named him Spot?" "Yeah, no, I just thought, you know, something normal." "Uh, solid dog name, you know." "But he doesn't have any spots." "I know." "Well, you can change it if you want." "Really?" "You won't mind?" "Uh, no, no, not really." "No." "Thank you." "No, thank you." "I don't know what to say." "No, that's okay." "All right, okay." "I'm..." "I'm gonna..." " Needles?" " Yeah." " New Mexico." " Yeah." "Right." "Bye, Spot." "I love you." "You didn't walk here, did you?" "This is Jonesy here from Jonesy's Jukebox." "My neighbour's got this fuckin' dog that don't stop barking." "I'm thinking of ways to kill it." "The best I could come up with was you get a bunch of fuckin' rattlesnakes, you sling 'em overthe yard." "Baby ones, 'cause they really sting and they don't know when to stop putting in the venom." "And then one of them's going to get the fuckin' dog, is going to kill it and no one's going to get blamed 'cause they're going think it's a natural fuckin' thing." "You know what I mean?" "It's a snake." "It's not like me going overthere with poison and poisoning the bastard." "I think that's the best one." "I think that's what I'm gonna do." "You're listening to Jonesy." "Take it away, me old son."

"[M] If the nightingales could sing like you [M]" "[M] They'd sing much sweeter than they do [M]" "[M] For you brought a new kind of love to me [M]" "[M] If the sandman brought me dreams of you [M]" "[M] I'd want to sleep my whole life through [M]" "Has set a new standard in the midwest..." "The highest standard." "So high that even our friends on the coasts are now paying attention." "The man that we're honoring this evening is a visionary in every sense of the word." "I have known him since he was a resident here at Washington." "He was opinionated and hardheaded even then." "His constant innovations to obstetric surgery have earned him dominance in the field." "If there's one thing I hear during the course of my day, it's, "thanks to him, we have a family."" "Ladies and gentlemen," "Dr. William Masters." "I am, uh..." "A man of science." "Which is why I'll let my friend provost Scully supply the words tonight." "Most regrettably, I have to go." "It turns out I'm working this evening." "Bill Masters has yet to devise the baby guaranteed to arrive during business hours." "But mark my words." "He will." "But I do thank you." "I thank you for honoring me here tonight." "Oh, God." "Oh, my God." "So good." "Ernie, you're a fucking animal." " Oh, my God." "Ohh." "Oh, my God." "So good." "Oh, my God." "I'm gonna come." "Aah!" "Aah!" " Aah!" "Aah!" " Oh, my God." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oh." "Good for you." "Arousal states for clients 1 and 6 were instantaneous." "4 took ten minutes, making him the slowest." "7 achieved no arousal at all." "The last client... how long did he stay in the plateau state?" "For-fucking-ever." "I have 11 minutes." "Well, you're the expert." "Your napkin actually goes in your lap." "From a man standing in a closet watching people hump all night." "It's work." " Oh, really?" " Which reminds me..." "You might consider keeping a journal." "You could time a lot of this yourself, even if it's counting in your head." "What is the matter with you?" "Seriously." "I can't be there every night." "Ah!" "We were getting so close." "Client 8..." "Uh..." "I have your climax lasted approximately 9 seconds." "I was faking." "You didn't have an orgasm?" " You're serious now?" " Yes, I'm serious." "You..." "Pretended to have an orgasm?" "Is that a-a common practice amongst prostitutes?" "It's a common practice amongst anyone with a twat." "Women fake orgasms..." "almost all of them." "Although I haven't checked my clipboard lately." "But why?" "W-why would a woman lie about something like that?" "God almighty." "This is..." "Okay." "I'm gonna be honest with you, but only 'cause I like you and you seem real dedicated about your project, in your penguin suit and all, with the charts and the timer." "But seriously, if you really want to learn about sex, then you're gonna have to get yourself a female partner." "Have you seen her?" "She's gorgeous." "And they placed her in our department." "Insurance processing." "Right outside the elevators, which makes it very convenient to casually run into her." "Anyway, rumor is the new girl's just now getting divorced." "Ex-husband's a band leader." "She was his singer, so she's probably dying for something stable." "This E.E.G. isn't..." "You're not still going ahead with that, are you?" "Going ahead and about to enter the second phase." "Support for the project grows every day." "Support from...?" "Scully is gonna present my proposal to the board." "In the meantime, I'm looking for volunteers." "I say this with the greatest respect, bill, even affection, but this study of yours is doomed." "Want to bet?" "Scully will sooner approve a trip to the moon." "H-How will he even begin to defend this to the board?" "He won't have to." "Project's gonna be conducted in perfect secrecy." "In a teaching hospital, where no one ever gossips." "Come meet the new girl with me." "Do you not have patients, Dr. Haas?" "Because I will gladly reassign yours to Dr. Evans if you're too busy." "I'll be in my office." "And your secret here is safe with me." "Obviously." "Obviously." "Dr. Masters." "The interviews you've requested appear to be secretarial candidates." "Now, either we're adding staff to our office, or I'm being replaced." "Would you care to clarify?" "The job has changed, miss horchow." "Why wouldn't I be right for this new job?" "Because I have another new study pending, one that requires a secretary not at all..." "Squeamish." "I grew up on a farm." "I've beheaded chickens." "Oh, I can imagine." "But did you ever see one of those chickens fake an orgasm?" "More importantly, do you know why a woman would fake an orgasm?" "Because that's one of the questions I hope to answer." "This new job will require taking sexual histories in intimate, explicit detail." "And to be honest, you don't seem the kind of woman that would cotton to such a task." "I'm not sure what kind of woman would." "I'm not sure what kind of woman could hold her head up in church every Sunday knowing she'd spent the entire week talking smut!" "Science." "Slap on whatever fancy term you like." "I'll schedule the first round of interviews as early as tomorrow." "Thank you, miss..." "[M]On a day [M]" "Horchow." "[M] Like today [M]" "[M] We pass the time away [M]" "[M] Writing love letters [M]" "[M] In the sand [M]" "[M] How you laughed when I cried [M]" "[M] Each time I saw the tide [M]" "[M] Take our love letters [M]" "[M] From the sand [M]" "[M] You made a vow [M]" "Daddy." "On time tonight." "That alone is cause for celebration." "[M] But somehow [M]" "Candles usually mean guests." "Mm, not tonight." "Just us two." "You took your temperature?" "Uh-huh." "That doesn't mean you have to make a soufflé, lib." "Oh, it's romantic." "I-it's chocolate." "Chocolate makes people feel, um..." "[M] Every wave that breaks [M]" "Quick prayer first, daddy." "Mm?" "Dear lord..." "Please bring us the baby we already love and adore." "Amen." "Here's my card." "My work extension's on the front." "Home number's on the back..." "my empty home." "Sad home, where no one is waiting for me." "I have two children waiting for me." "Well, maybe..." "Are your kids friendly?" "'Cause maybe they'll take pity on me and invite me in." "I do appreciate the ride, Dr. Haas." " Ethan." " Ethan." "And I'll take that to mean you'd like me to shove off." "No, actually, I look forward to knowing you and maybe even becoming friends." " Friends." " Yes." "That's all my life can accommodate right now." "I must look like an idiot." "But the truth is..." "All I could think about the entire drive home was kissing you." "Well, friends can kiss." "On your bottom now." "Knees to chest." "We could look in each other's eyes sometimes." "Once you're pregnant." "Until then..." "This is the most effective position." "Daddy." "What do you see when you look at me?" "Love." "Love?" "It was like something out of a movie..." "That kind of movie." "First, I get the "just friends" speech." "Next thing I know, she invites me in, and I get a blow job." "Right there on the couch." "Fellatio." "I know what it is." "What it is is incredible!" "These are the insured patients." "Dr. Phillips insists that these files be kept separate from the ward patients, who are walk-ins and usually poor." "Dr. Hunt... he wants all his files kept in storage." "I need a directory." "I need to know all the doctors' names, their departments, their titles." "Their quirks, their incomes, their marital status, their availability despite their marital status." "For example, if I wanted to know about Dr. Haas..." "You would go to obstetrics." "Dr. Ethan Haas." "First-year fellow." "Ob-gyn." "He's one of the young pups." "And his boss is...?" "Dr. William Masters." "He's the Alpha dog of coochie medicine." "It was so sexy." "Jesus." "But what does it mean?" "What does a blow job mean?" "What are you... a girl?" "Okay, who cares what it means and why she did it?" "Although I do think it's the rare bird that is both elegant and smart and volunteers that kind of thing." "All I do know for sure is I am going to marry that woman." "Come in." "Code blue in the E.R., Dr. Masters." "C-section, bleeding out." "Scrub up and assist, Dr. Haas." "Yes." "I'm right behind you." "I want to show you something..." "your man in action." "She's lost over 4,000CC, bill." "Placenta accreta?" "Yes, but the hemorrhaging..." "How long has she been on the table?" "Uh, 98 minutes." " How many bottles?" " Four." "Two more. 500CC." "Another on deck." " Heart rate?" " 140." " What's the pressure?" " 70 over palp." "Which one of you geniuses is her doctor?" "She's on the negro ward." "You didn't get all the placenta, for starters." " 12 gauze packs." " I already used 12." "12 more!" "And a scalpel... number 5." "Suture." "I'll deliver these on my break." "Let the messenger boys do that." "Dr. Masters." "We haven't yet met." "Are you here to interview or on some other business?" "Can you squeeze me in now?" "I'm sure it seems unorthodox, going from nightclub singer to secretary, but I-I can assure you" "I am very capable, organized." " I'm the hardest worker I know." " You don't know me." "Well, I assume that comes with the job." "Any medical education?" "I was an undergrad at drury college." " Studying...?" " Music." "So you graduated with a B.A.?" "Actually, marriage interfered before I could graduate." "But I am enrolled in classes now, here at the university." "I'll have my degree by year's end." " In...?" " Sciences." "Behavioral science." "Interference." "You didn't want to get married?" "Are we talking about my husbands again?" "So there's more than one?" "Two." "I stopped at two." "So, the first marriage was for interference." "The second was for...?" "Children." "I have a boy and a girl." "Is that unusual?" "I believe that's average, statistically." "Is it unusual that you didn't marry for love in either marriage?" "You're surrounded by women." "Perhaps you could best answer that question." "I'm curious as to what you have to say." "Well, good housekeeping quizzes tell you that women marry for love..." "What they think is love." "But I think that women often confuse love with physical attraction." " Sex." " Yes." "Women often think that sex and love are the same thing." "But they don't have to be." "They don't even have to go together." "Sex can be perfectly good on its own, whereas love is..." "I don't think I've ever heard a woman express such an opinion." "It's not a theory I trot out at dinner parties." "You're a doctor." "I'm guessing you're not easily flustered." "Did she live?" "The woman in surgery today?" "Yes." "And would she have died had you not stepped in?" "Yes." "Then I envy you." "That's a day well spent." "They're very strict about my break." "Since you brought up the subject of sex..." "Actually, you did." "Why would a woman fake an orgasm?" "To get a man to climax quickly." "Usually so the woman can get back to whatever it is she'd rather be doing." "I know it's late, but I need to sign up for classes now..." "Get myself in the system, officially registered as a student." "I was thinking my emphasis of study could be nature versus nurture." "I recently read an article on the subject." "I found it very informative." "We don't offer that as a major." "Well, not as a major, necessarily." "But it must fall in the department of behavioral sciences or something." "We don't have a department of behavioral sciences." "Well..." "The article was very interesting." "It made me look at my own children in a whole new light." "My advice?" "Go home to your children and figure out what you really want." "I want a degree." "In an interesting subject..." "something important." "When I was your age," "I thought my children were important." "Do you have a sociology department?" "Well, then I'd like you to sign me up in the sociology department as an undeclared major." "Now." "I did promise to present this to the board, but that was before I read it." "You do know what's in here?" "I wrote it specifically to showcase this as a physiological study." "It's smut, bill." "That's how every board member will see it..." "As pornography or prostitution or something equally depraved." "You didn't even show it to them." "Because I live in the real world." "Where there are libraries on how babies are born and not a single study on how babies are made." "We are doctors, for Christ's sakes, and I-I simply want to answer the question..." "What happens to the body during sex?" "By using live subjects flopping around on beds." " "Flopping." Self-stimulating." "Monitored for the collection of physiological data!" "Oh, for goodness' sake, bill, why are you doing this?" "Your practice is the envy of every doctor in this hospital." "My practice is a revolving door of cripples, women disappointed, confused, even tortured by sex." "They're desperate for help." "Do you know what advice I have to offer?" ""Get a divorce, get used to it, or cheat."" "Let psychiatrists help those women." "It's not medicine!" "It is medicine, and I am so far out in front of it," "I'm the only one who sees it." "I want the truth." "I want to make my name in uncharted territory." "I..." "I want a Nobel prize." "Then this discussion is over." "This study will never be seen as serious science, and you will be labeled a pervert." "You can thank me later for saving you from yourself." ""The Ed Sullivan show."" "Imagine what my mother would say if she could see this boy." "Ahh." "I need to go out." "Now?" "Your dinner's in the warmer." "Slide it all in the sink." "I want my Martini shaken by vito tonight." "What happened?" "You look..." "Uh..." "Scully refuses to present my study." "Which study?" "It's about how the human body responds to..." "Various physical stimuli." "Don't make me explain this now." "I want a drink, then I want another drink, then..." "Lib?" "I had a visitor." "But you said your basal temp spiked last night." "That puts you mid-cycle, not starting a new one." "Do we have to discuss..." "But if you don't correctly monitor..." "So t-tired of feeling like a failure at the one thing that we want most." "Two years, and nothing." "Why can't I have a baby?" "Why... why can't I give my husband a child?" "Lib, hon." "Let's not..." "My wife is coming in next week." "We've decided she'll join my cervical-cap trial." "We've had great success with it, and I'd appreciate it if you help us through the admissions process." "Of course." "I'm sorry." "I can imagine infertility is very stressful." "For Libby, it is, yes." "But not for you?" "Libby has a reproductive tract incompatible with conception, which is stressful for her." "And it's certainly no secret that infertility is distracting while at the same time being endlessly tedious and annoying." "For her." "Anyway, I've helped so many other couples conceive." "It seems impossible I can't help my own wife." "Yes, it does seem unlikely." "Anyway, my shift ended an hour ago." "Right." "You can go." "But don't get too used to regular hours in this office." "Reproduction is a 'round-the-clock business." "I warned her you're a slave driver." "I don't mind the long hours." "I just need some warning to make arrangements for my children." "Good work today." "No, no, no, no, no." "No, we had a deal." "We had a deal." "But I've never done that before." "Did what I do to you feel good?" "Mm-hmm." " Yeah?" "Then you do the same thing to me." "You don't have a penis." "Is that what they taught you in medical school?" "I'm not finding school very helpful right now." "Confidence, doctor." "That's the key." " Confidence." " Mm-hmm." "Oh, my God." "This is even sexier." "Shut up, Ethan." " What?" " Shut up." "Too much talking?" "It's good." " It's great." " Really?" "I want more." "More." "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen." "Surgery went well." "I can see it..." "the nurses." "They're thinking, "why is she not in the negro ward?"" "You're not in the negro ward because I moved you here." "This is where you'll get the best care." "That baby was everything." "You'll have another." "They told me I can't." "Mrs. May, I'm your doctor now." "And when I say I will work day and night until you leave this hospital with a baby in your arms, that's what I will do." "Of course, I didn't admit" "I have no idea what a cervical cap is." "It's a device Masters invented himself." "It's basically a-a rubber cap that takes dud sperm and places it right against the cervix." ""Dud" sperm?" "Mm-hmm." "Or in Masters' case, no sperm." "Most of the men in the study have a low sperm count." "Masters' is close to zero." "No." "No." "He told me himself." "His wife is the one with the problem." "Don't take it personally." "I mean, I love bill." "He's taught me so much." "Championed me as a resident." "I owe him everything, really." " But his ego..." "There is no way the great bill Masters is going to admit he's shooting blanks." "You looked in his file." "It was right there." "Mm." "I hope my lab coat hides the fact" "I'll be wearing the same clothes two days in a row." "Ethan." "I said that we'd be friends." "And I meant it." "That sounds ominous." "No, it would just be..." "It would be confusing for my kids and awkward for us if you stayed." "So I'm not spending the night." "You're kicking me out." "I can make you coffee for the road." "Coffee." "Uh, no." "Thanks." "It's not like I pressure her into it." " In fact, she pressures me." " How traumatic for you." "Scar tissue on the anterior wall." "And it's like..." "The kind of sex you have when you're married." "Or on your honeymoon, I'm guessing." "Or like sex with a prostitute." "Not that I've ever been with a prostitute, but..." "Jesus Christ." "I need your help." "Mrs. May needs my help." "Mrs. May wants a baby and, off this, I'd put her chances at 10%." "You might be able to remove the lesions surgically." "Bill, I'm in love with her." "I don't know what to do." "I'd be a terrible cupid." "But you see "Gini" every day." "Maybe you could put in a good word for me." "So we can both look like we're 12?" "I am crazy about her, but she's killing me." "I mean, what is it she wants?" "What does the woman you're sleeping with want?" "The riddle of life itself can't come close to the unfathomable mystery of that question." "We start with the intake forms." "The procedure itself comes later." "Being married to bill can often feel like a spectator sport." "I-I just mean you attract attention whether you want to or not." "The garden in the courtyard is nice." "We can sit there, like two girlfriends, fill out the forms." "No one will be the wiser." "How does that sound?" "There are magazines, a pillow." "It helps if you put it under your knees." "You've been so kind, Mrs. Johnson." "Call me Virginia..." "Gini." "I'll tell my husband you're his new secret weapon, Gini." "The doc wanted me to be the last one in tonight." "Right." "Betty Dimello." "I see you've started on the intake forms." "Uh, only the name and address stuff." "The other questions, you can answer." "The other questions are your medical history." "Oh." "How about I talk and you write?" "Okay." "Let's start with infertility." "Meaning?" "Meaning, how long have you been trying to get pregnant?" "Have you ever been pregnant?" "Do you have a history of miscarriages?" "I've had three pregnancies taken care of, if you follow." "Two years ago, I had my tubes tied." "Please put miss Dimello in room 5." "Tell Dr. Haas to meet me in my examining room." "The cap is small, but sometimes fitting it can be uncomfortable." "A sharp pinch, apparently." "Well, you'll tell me when it's over." "I won't be the one fitting it." "It's against hospital protocol to treat a family member." "Since when do you care about protocol?" "I let you follow the rules so I can break them." "Isn't that the deal?" "Careful, bill." "Careful about making me the boring one." "You're the tough one, lib." "I think we learned that long ago." "Mrs. Masters." "This must mean you're doing the honors, Ethan." "Stay for a minute, can't you, daddy?" "I have a-a patient waiting, but I-I'll check in on you later." "No one can replace your husband." "But I have done this many times, and so far, not a single complaint." "Scoot all the way to the end for me." "Thank you." "Guess I'm your first Guinea pig." "My first Guinea pig was year two of medical school." "Then came rabbits." "But, yes, you're my first human subject on day one of my new study." "I appreciate your coming." "You're paying." "My mother always said I'd end up in the electric chair." "There's a reason the French call it "la petite mort."" "We got everything we need?" "E.K.G., E.E.G." "Vibrator?" "You said nothing about a vibrator." "This is why I keep telling you why you need a female partner." "I'm working on it." "Do you at least have any magazines?" "I do... for men." "Okay." "With pictures of women." " Good." " Naked." "Even better." "When I have sex, on my own time, I have sex with women." "With Helen, in fact." "Helen is my lover." "So, who's your lover?" "You must love somebody." " I'm married." " That's an answer?" "That's my personal life, which is of no interest to you or anyone else." "I'll get those magazines." "Miss Dimello is a patient." "I learned long ago not to judge." "But I do like your wife." "And she is down the hall enduring infertility treatments, which is why this all does seem a bit insensitive on your part, if I May be so blunt." "Next time you're blunt, you might also try being right." "I hired you because I need an assistant and because I suspect you might have a gift for the work." "That said, if you're uncomfortable with what I'm doing here, speak now, and I can make other arrangements." "I'm not sure what it is you're doing." "I'm wiring miss Dimello to monitor her pulse, heart rate, and brain waves to illuminate to my patients, and to the general community, what happens to the body during sexual stimulation and orgasm." "The magazines are to help with the stimulation part, because unbeknownst to me, miss Dimello prefers women, which, to be Frank, concerns me because it May, in fact, throw off my data." "Why would it throw off your data?" "Isn't an orgasm an orgasm?" "That is one of the many questions I hope to answer." "But as she is my only subject, it really means I have no choice, whatever her orientation." "So are you interested in the job or not?" "I'm not sure why you chose me." "Instinct." "Even though I don't have a college degree or know anything about biology or anatomy." "I can teach you." "If you picked a female M.D., she'd know all of this already." "A woman doctor would never jeopardize her career on such a risky subject." "You're jeopardizing yours?" "The study is not approved." "So, yes..." "My career is in Jeopardy." "I'm going ahead anyway." "How can I help?" "But he must have given you the details." "Well, he did." "But it's confidential." "He said I could only talk about it with women who were willing to volunteer." "Volunteer for... for what?" "The study is about sex..." "Things that we've always suspected but never had proven scientifically." "It's a whole new world that we're opening up." "Groundbreaking." "Very exciting, for women especially." "It will probably be the biggest change to women's lives since the right to vote." "Really?" "The first two pages and the last one, okay?" "Okay." "Sure." "Our new volunteer starts tomorrow." "I just feel lucky you could fit me in at all." "Gini told me there is quite a waiting list for volunteers." "Right." "Quite a list." "As to how we'll proceed today, it's important to go over some ground rules." "You don't have to." "Gini already explained them to me." "It's interesting." "When you look at the data, you get a very clear picture of what's happening to the subject physically." "But if you want to answer a question like," ""how does an orgasm feel for a woman?"" "It's not so easy to see it in the numbers." "How does it feel?" "It's like trying to describe salt to someone who's never tasted salt." "I've tasted salt." "Not the way I've tasted salt." "Go ahead." "How does an orgasm feel for a woman?" "Fantastic." "First thing we retract is this tissue here." "This is the omentum." "This is the bowel." "Once that's secured... we move to what's called the vesicouterine fold." "We know what it's called, bill." "I retract the vesicouterine fold to expose this shiny, grapefruit-sized mass here, which is the uterus." "Number 10 scalpel." "Is that the end of the lesson?" "Dr. langham." "Can I help you?" "No." "No." "I'm fine." "I-I was just, uh..." "Listening to our exam room." "There's some money trading hands about what's going on in there." " I don't know if you knew that." " I didn't." "I think maybe a decorator is in there now, moving furniture." "I hope you're not out a lot." "20 bucks." "If I can make the camera small enough, it'll allow the viewer to actually witness it in real time." "But can you vary the size of the device?" "Because this looks big." "And some women can accommodate big much better than others, of course." "Of course." "I thought we put this matter to bed." "This is work I've been doing on my own time." "An extracurricular hobby, like model building or macramé." "Bill, I said no." "I meant no." "What part of that do you not understand?" "The part that still believes you're a scientist." "All I am asking is that you take off your management hat for five minutes." "Let me show you what any real scientist would kill to see." "We call it "ulysses,"" "after the Kirk Douglas movie with the giant cyclops." "It even assists with stimulation." "I don't like where this is going." "I designed ulysses myself, using cold-light illumination and with a miniature camera lens attached inside." "Who else is doing this?" "No one." "Who will be doing it in five years?" "Everyone." "I don't think this is a good idea." "Jane, relax." "Deep breath." "It'll be just like all the other times." "Except the provost of the entire university will be watching me." "No." "He's not watching you." "He's watching science." "Best seat in the house." "Now, the patient controls ulysses herself." "The only thing you have to do is lean in close, like this, so you get the best possible view through the lens." "But not too close, or you'll get poked in the eye." "You're saying watch out for the dildo." "Just think of yourself as sir Edmund Hillary leaving base camp." "Whenever you're ready, J..." "miss." "Thank you." "It's, uh..." "Well, it's a remarkable feat." "Which is why it's time to go public, barton." "Time to submit this proposal to the board." "Damn it." "You promised me." "I did not promise..." "A study where a naked woman mounts a mechanical phallus!" "What we've done here is revolutionary." "You know it is." "It's not just the technology." "The new data we're collecting dispels years of myths about how a woman's body anticipates sex." "We've already debunked many established theories, plus charted clear-cut stages of sexual response... four in all." "We're starting to see that some women are capable of multiple orgasms." "Why does your secretary keep talking to me?" "I already gave you my answer." "It's not an answer I can accept." "I've made this hospital a fortune." "Our patient base has tripled." "We're ranked second in the country." "Our donors can't write checks fast enough, in large part because of me." "I got us to where we are now." "And this study, this is where we're going." "This is the future." "But if you won't support me in... in blazing that trail, then I'll find another hospital that will." "Dangerous game you're playing." "Oh, it's not a game." "I need an answer by the end of today." "He's not gonna call." "Ethan, I'm sorry." "I totally forgot." "You're not even dressed yet." "Is this about the nicu benefit?" "For God's sake, Ethan, go ahead." "Gini can come with Libby and me later." "Libby's had me over twice this week." "I'm sure she'd like time alone." "And I would like a date." "So I can wait another 15 minutes." "Well, we have another hour here at least." "I'll meet you there." "Okay?" "See you there." "I thought you'd broken that off." "Broken what off?" "We're friends." "Because our professionalism and standards have to be beyond reproach, Virginia." "You know, this is not research into kidney disease, which might survive some incident of inner-departmental scandal." "This study is the scandal." "So even a hint of impropriety could derail all our work now, everything that's to come." "I understand you're upset about Scully." "I'm not talking about Scully!" "Now, given that every museum in the world is filled with art created from this basic impulse, the greatest literature..." "The most beautiful music." "The study of sex is the study of the beginning of all life, and science holds the key." "Yet we sit huddled in the dark like prudish cavemen, filled with shame and... and..." "Guilt... when the truth is, nobody understands sex." "And now nobody will." "It's late." "Let's go." "Masters." "I'm just so happy that you and barton made up." "It wasn't exactly valentines and roses." "But bill can be very persuasive, as you know." "I persuaded her to marry me." "And now I'm persuading her to find some champagne so we can celebrate." "I'll go with you, lib." "It's a good day." "Would you have done it?" "Leave, I mean?" "Scully's the one that folded." "I don't have to show my hand." "I've been asking around about langham." "He's married, but he's also had affairs." "Apparently, nurses are his weakness." "Maybe I should talk to him." "You?" " Langham's a doctor." " So are you." "I insinuated my way in with you easily enough." "You're forgetting that I picked you for this job." "If that's what you need to tell yourself." "See if you can get him away from his wife." "I'll find you later." "And then you have to lay there, you know, with your legs up around your ears, everything completely exposed." "It hurts, like cramping, only worse." "They've taken my blood so many times, one of my veins has collapsed." "Lib, all of the pain..." "it will all be worth it." "I promise." "Honestly..." "I think he needs it more than I do." "I mean, not the poking and prodding, of course, but the baby." "Bill appreciates me." "Having a wife grounds him, I think." "But a child?" "A child could really change him." "Anyway, it annoys him to no end, but I do apologize every day." "Here he is, this brilliant doctor, stuck with a barren wife." "I'll be back in one moment." "You wanted to know what was going on in room 5." "That, um..." "Exceeded my expectations." "I'm flattered, although, honestly, I don't think I could stand there and, you know, wank off while people are watching." "That's not what this is." "The phase we're considering you for is couples." "Coup... couples?" "Dear God." "M-my wife barely lets me see her naked." "We don't mean you and your wife." "I'm in the process of recruiting several new female volunteers." "Which females?" "We preserve the anonymity of all of our volunteers." "But I already have a secretary, and I've spoken with a nurse and a hospital administrator's wife." "Come on." "Only hookers and insane co-eds would agree to this." "I resent that." "Have you signed on?" "I am Dr. Masters' associate." "Otherwise, I would have no reservations about volunteering." "All of our subjects know they're advancing the cause of science." "These are young, good-looking women." "Austin, trust me on this." "I don't know." "This whole thing feels like..." "Christmas or something." "Gini!" "I need to talk to you." "Hello, Ethan." "We're working here." "Yes, your wife told me." "Your wife, who's been standing by herself at the bar the last 20 minutes." "I'll be back in a moment, gentlemen." "But, yes..." "Merry Christmas to us all." "Ethan, let go of me!" "You're hurting me!" "No!" "Tell me!" "You can't answer, can you?" "How many times have we slept together?" "Just come back inside with me." "It's not that tough a question." "How many times have you let me fuck you?" "We are not going to have this conversation now." "When is a good time, Virginia?" "Because I haven't seen you in weeks." "You see me every day." "I haven't seen you alone!" "You work late every night!" "You ride home now" " with that bow-tied asshole!" " Shh!" "I come over, I get some bullshit excuse." "It's not an excuse." "I'm busy." "The study is expa..." "I don't care about the study!" "Please." "Don't do this." "Don't not talk to me." "Just tell me." " What?" "!" " Tell me..." "What?" "Tell you what?" "That I don't like being dragged out here in the cold when you're drunk and insulting?" "Why would I insult you when you're all I think about?" "!" "I have been in your bed." "I have been inside you." "Please." "What am I not doing?" "Or doing too much of?" "You know, what can I do better?" "Ethan, please." "You are my friend." "Oh, Jesus Christ." "Do not say "friend."" "You are!" "You are my friend!" "Friends don't fuck, Virginia." "Lovers do." "People in love with each other, they do." "I care about you, Ethan." "But you don't love me." "You'll make love to me." "You'll let me do anything, everything to you." "It's because I like it, because you like it." "I do it because I love you." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry that I hurt you." "That was never my intention." "That's enough!" "Fine." "Fine." "Wear the lab coat, Virginia." "Run the study." "Play doctor all you want." "At the end of the day, all you really are is a whore." "Mrs. May." "Are you all right?" "I'm going to have a baby." "Another baby." "That is such happy news." "So, so happy." "Oh!" "Once you two get settled," "I will attach the leads." "While we just lay there naked?" "There's a sheet, if you're feeling shy." "We'll see how it goes." "That's the fun of being first." "Fun!" "Hi." "Nice to meet you." "I'm, uh..." "Anonymous." "What a coincidence." "I'm anonymous, too." "I'll take your gowns." "Make yourselves comfortable on the bed." "Now, there really are no rules in terms of what you can and can't do." "You simply need to move through all four stages so we can monitor the response." "We start with excitement." " Moving right along..." "To plateau, which is usually intercourse, but can also be more foreplay." "Then orgasmic..." "That's self-explanatory, I think." "Ending with refractory, the body's physiological reflexes returning back to normal." "All of this comes very naturally, so I wouldn't get too in your head about it." "Too late for that." "Your other head." "And, uh, all the wires?" "I would advise going slowly." "More fun that way." "Now, whenever you two are ready." "Your cheekbone is bruised." "Watch out for open medicine cabinets." "You can go like..." "like this." "Can I kiss you?" "Oh!" "You know, I think we did meet once..." "Dr. Shaw's birthday party." "Right." "You were the one with clothes on." "I do have one concern..." "About the possibility of sexual transference between us and our patients." "We're going to be watching couples have sex, and those couples know we're watching them." "But the likelihood of us transferring all this libidinous energy onto our patients is high." "Is this something you're struggling with?" "No, but I could see the beginnings of it already between you and langham." "He was flirting with you..." " What?" " ..." "And you responded." "I was trying to make him feel comfortable." "He was sitting there with an erection." "Which is why we need to implement a system, uh, that ensures this kind of transference doesn't occur." "It didn't occur." "So you won't object to devising a-a system that avoids any doctor/patient conflict." "I won't object, but why don't you just come out and say whatever it is you're trying to say?" "The two of us should undertake the research ourselves." "Have sex with our patients?" "Bill, that would be transference." "We should undertake the research with each other." "I've considered this carefully, and I-I realized it's the best way to ensure the longevity of the project." "We get the benefit of interpreting the data firsthand, plus, it deflects any inappropriate projection away from our patients." "Keeps it just between us." "Can I take the weekend to think about this?" "Of course." "All right." "Good night, then." "Good night."

"♪ Men. ♪" "Hello, Walden." "Good to see you." "I would say, "Good to see you," but, of course, when I see you, it's usually 'cause things aren't good." "Well, if things were always good with people," "I wouldn't have that condo in Palm Springs." "So... what's going on?" "Well, I left the woman that I loved and thought I was gonna marry for another woman who I thought I loved more, and then..." "I lost them both." "So tell me about these women." "Well, Kate was my ex, but the only reason we broke up in the first place is 'cause she moved to China." "Um, she's amazing." "She's smart and driven and sexy and beautiful." "Then there's" "Vivian, who's a girl who knocked on my door 'cause she wanted to drink from my hose." "Okay, let's table the hose part for now and focus on the fact that you broke up with a woman you loved for a stranger who knocked on your door." "I know." "Romantic, right?" "What the hell's wrong with you?" "Isn't that what I'm paying you to tell me?" "Well, if I just tell you the answers," "I don't get to yell at you." "And this has to be fun for me, too." "Let me ask you something, Walden." "Have you ever been able to have sex and not fall in love?" "Only with myself." "Well, it seems to me you base your own value on who's willing to have sex with you." "How do you feel after you sleep with someone?" "Grateful." "Happy." "Bashful." "Dopey." "Basically all the Dwarfs." "Did it ever occur to you that these women might also be grateful?" "No." "Well, why not?" "You're a smart, successful, good-looking guy." "There are plenty of women who would love to have sex with you." "Are you flirting with me?" "Walden, now you're attempting to forge an emotional attachment with your gay therapist." "Is it working?" "A little bit." "You're extremely pretty." "But the point is, you need to break this pattern." "How am I supposed to do that?" "I'm gonna write you a prescription." "You need to learn to enjoy sexual relations without concluding that every woman... is the one." ""Bang everything that moves."" "Twice a day, if possible." "Mixing with alcohol is fine, just not while driving." "Look, if you do this, it's very likely that the next time you fall in love, the emotions that you feel will be authentic and not just projecting on someone because you shared a physical connection." "But what if the first woman I have casual sex with turns out to be the one?" "Wow." "When I'm done with you," "I'm gonna be able to buy a yacht." "♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪" "♪ Ah." "♪ Men." "♪ Two and a Half Men 11x20 ♪ Lotta Delis in Little Armenia Original Air Date on April 24, 2014" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man" "♪ Men. ♪" "So, Mr. Mardirosian, if-if you don't mind my asking, uh, how did you hear about my chiropractic business," "Adjustments..." "by the Sea?" "You came into the deli." "You asked to pay for your baba ghanoush with free back adjustment." "Mm." "That doesn't narrow it down." "I made that offer in a lotta delis in Little Armenia." "Anyway, why don't you, uh, hop up on the table and I'll try to make your back as tender as your kebobs." "Oh, my." "Guess this explains the hair in my hummus." "Whoa." "Those are balls." "Uh, Alan, can I talk to you for a second?" "Oh, uh, uh, just, just make yourself comfortable." "By the sea." "What's going on?" "Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't really been working very much lately." "You know, now that you mention it," "I have noticed that you've been here literally every day for the past three years." "My point is I-I'm trying to get my business going again." "Ergo, Adjustments..." "by the Sea." "That's great." "And I'm really proud of you." "But why's it happening in my living room?" "Because you can charge $50 more an hour if it's by the sea." "And not above a Quiznos." "Okay, this is my house, not a place of business." "It's just temporary." "I-I just need to build up my clientele so I can rent a new space." "I-I promise, you will not know I'm here." "I always know you're here." "Oh, you are so sweet." "This is gonna be a good thing." "You'll see." "I'll never see anything but those balls again." "Of all the places he doesn't have hair." "♪ Men. ♪" "Hey, Berta, can I ask you a personal question?" "Twice." "Once in college and once with a waitress from Howard Johnson's." "Oh." "No, uh..." "Do you think it's possible to have sex with someone without an emotional attachment?" "Of course." "My rule is, "find 'em, fornicate and forget 'em."" "Mine is "love 'em, lose 'em, live the rest of your life with Alan."" "I think yours is catchier." "Not as catchy as what I got from that waitress from Howard Johnson's." "Thank God for penicillin." "She should be on TV." "Hello." "Is this Adjustments by the Sea?" "Oh." "Actually, it's pronounced "Adjustments... by the Sea."" "Oh, okay." "Well I-I have an appointment with Dr. Harper at 2:00." "Oh." "Uh..." "Sorry..." "D-Dr." "Harper isn't here right now." "Um..." "You know what, why don't you come and have a seat and I'll see if I can reach him." "Okay." "Wow." "Ooh, this is quite a place." "Yes, Dr. Harper has made a tremendous success of his life." "He's gone from having nothing to living in a house on the beach." "How does he do it?" "Adjustments by the Sea." "Please hold." "Your call is important to us." "Please stay on the..." "Alan, it's me." "You didn't have to yell, you could've just hit zero at any time." "You have a client here." "Where are you?" "I'm stuck in traffic." "There was an accident." "Well, how long till you get here?" "I don't know." "How long does it take the Jaws of Life to pry open a Prius?" "Just-just keep her busy." "How?" "I'm not a chiropractor." "According to the state licensing board, neither am I." "I'll be there as soon as I can." "Ugh." "The one time I actually want him in my house." "I'm sorry, he's stuck in traffic." "I'm Walden." "It's nice to meet you." "I'm Tracy." "I have to say, the view here is very impressive." "Oh, yeah." "The beach is beautiful, isn't it?" "I wasn't talking about the beach." "You're not?" "Oh." "You're talking about..." "Thank you." "Um..." "So, Walden, are-are you a chiropractor, too?" "Oh, no." "You do not want these hands touching your body." "I don't have the proper credentials." "I do, however, have a note from a doctor." "Is that velour?" "You are adorable." "So, how'd you hurt your back?" "You know, it might just be easier if I showed you." "Easy's... always good." "That's true." "Although some things are better when they're harder." "Oh, yeah, like working out." "Or what you're talking about." "I see how you hurt your back." "I hope I didn't hurt yours." "Sorry for the scratch marks." "Yeah." "Listen, um," "I hope you don't take this the wrong way..." "Oh." "I think taking it the wrong way is what fixed my back." "Actually, that was an accident, but it worked out for everyone." "Anyway, I..." "I recognize that what we just shared is something very intimate, and it would only be natural for both of us to be experiencing feelings of affection for one another, and perhaps develop a desire to share a meal or a drink" "or a couple of years together, but is it possible that what might be best is... for this to remain a casual encounter?" "Sure." "Really?" "Yep." "'Cause i-if you want to get a cup of coffee..." "Oh, I got to go pick up my kids from soccer." "Thanks, Walden." "Aw." "What a good mom." "Oh, good, Mrs. Butler, I am so sorry I'm late." "Oh, don't worry about it." "It's fine." "Uh, no, no, no, it's not." "Uh, we still have a half an hour." "Any kinks you need worked out?" "Oh, trust me, the next time I'm feel kinky, I'll be back." "Here you go." "Oh." "But I-I didn't..." "Oh, don't worry about it." "I got to run." "Okay, well, c-come again." "Oh, I will." "Sadly, it's not the first time a woman has paid me not to touch her." "♪ Men. ♪" "Morning." "I had sex yesterday." "Congratulations." "When's the wedding?" "Oh." "No." "This was different." "If the kind of sex I had was a suit, it would be made of linen, because it was so casual." "You?" "Really?" "I know." "You believe it?" "We started having sex, and I caught myself trying to make love, and I said, "No, no, no"." ""This is gonna be meaningless and empty," ""like two wild elk rutting on the Siberian tundra."" "You know, only male elk rut." "And only lesbians who didn't have sex last night point out stupid animal facts." "I got it." "Hello?" "Hi." "Is this Adjustments by the Sea?" "Oh, uh, actually, today it's Adjustments by the Closed Patio Door, because a, uh, seagull pooped on my last client." "Uh..." "I am Dr. Alan Harper." "Uh, do you have an appointment?" "Uh, I do." "But I was hoping" "I could see your associate, Walden?" "Oh, no, there, uh, there must be some kind of mistake." "Walden doesn't actually work with me." "According to my friend Tracy, he worked with her quite well." "Um, Tracy?" "She was here yesterday." "For the... internal massage." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Well... well, I don't... know what went on between the two of them, but this is not that type of business." "Okay, I get it." "Maybe this will help." "Oh, no, I'm not really comfortable, uh, letting you stand out in the cold." "Please come in." "Um..." "Thank you." "Now, um, if I want anything special, should I negotiate with Walden directly?" "Oh." "No." "No." "No, no, no, no." "Uh, uh, uh, Walden..." "Walden... considers himself an artist." "And as far as he's concerned, you're just two strangers meeting in a chiropractic waiting room." "Uh, any mention of money would just upset him." "I understand." "Yeah." "Oh, and, uh, here's a diagram of the human body." "If you'd like, you can mark the areas that you'd like him to give special attention to." "Oh." "Oh, my." "Uh, "X" marks the G-spot." "Oh, oh, good, Walden, uh, you're here." "Um, uh, I need your help." "Um, could you keep my client company until I get back?" "Alan," "I'm not here to babysit your clients." "I can do it." "No." "Uh..." "No." "No." "This is a man's job." "I-I'll be right back." "Hi." "I'm sorry." "Uh, Dr. Harper had to take care of something really quick." "Is there anything I can offer you?" "Well, that depends." "Can I offer you anything... stranger?" "Well, I do see a... couple things I like." "So do I." "You've got a lovely place here." "I can't wait to see every inch of it." "That might take a while." "Why?" "Is it big?" "I've been told that it's quite big." "Wait, wait, we're not really talking about the house, are we?" "No, no, we're not." "Oh." "Yay!" "It's big." "Would you like a tour?" "I think that is an excellent idea!" "Oh, um, by the way, my name's..." "Up, bup, bup, bup, bup." "No names." "Today we are just two wild elk... on the frozen tundra." "Ooh, elk." "I can do that." "Eee-ohh!" "I don't know what's weirder, that noise or the fact that it turned me on." "♪ Men. ♪" "♪ Men. ♪" "Hey, sorry about that." "Where's my client?" "How do I say this, exactly?" "I had sex with your client." "What?" "!" "I know." "And it's not the first one." "My therapist prescribed that I have meaningless sex to take care of my codependency issues." "Oh, my God!" "I know." "I'm sorry." "Well, look, look, obviously, you know," "I can't... condone this kind of behavior." "But, you know, if you..." "if you think it's... helping you, I mean, that's really the important thing." "It is helping." "I feel so free." "Do you know what it's like to have sex with a woman who never wants to see you again?" "Yes." "Yes, I do." "I appreciate you understanding, but I'm sure that this has taken a toll on your business." "I..." "Here." "Here's... $200." "Oh, oh, no, you don't have to do that, Walden." "No, no." "Take it." "No, I'm not taking your money, Walden." "I insist." "No, no, no." "Okay, fine." "Thank you." "♪ You know, it's hard out here for a pimp ♪" "♪ When he trying to get this money for the rent ♪" "♪ For the Cadillacs and gas money spent ♪" "♪ 'Cause a whole lot of ... jumping ship ♪" "♪ You know, it's hard out here for a pimp ♪" "♪ When he trying to get this money for the rent ♪" "♪ For the Cadillacs and gas money spent ♪" "♪ 'Cause a whole lot of ... jumping ship ♪" "♪ In my eyes, I done seen some crazy thangs in the street... ♪" "Hey." "Think I have another one for you." "I don't know, I think I'm over the whole one-night stand thing." "Come on." "You said you wanted to get into the casual sex game." "I got you into the game." "Now you're telling me you're tired?" "The game doesn't work like that." "Even if I wanted to, I'm not sure that I could." "My penis looks like one of those dried-out 7-Eleven hot dogs." "Look, I'm not gonna twist your arm or... break a finger or anything." "Bottom line, I just want you to be happy, baby." "Okay, what-what is the matter with you?" "Why are you massaging me and calling me "baby"" "and dressed like a gay cheetah?" "Don't hate the cheetah." "Hate the game." "Okay, you know what?" "I'm gonna go talk to this woman." "Mostly 'cause I don't want to talk to you anymore." "Attaboy." "Oh, oh, hang on a second." "Um... okay, uh..." "Okay." "Now go have fun." "♪ Men. ♪" "Oh... my..." "God." "That was fantastic." "Your partner was right-- you're the best." "Partner?" "What are you talking about?" "The weird little guy downstairs." "Oh, that..." "He's not my partner." "Oh." "Gotcha." "Anyway, uh, don't share this with your..." ""not partner."" "Wink, wink." "What's this?" "Oh, just a little tip." "For the big one you gave me." "Y-You don't have to give me a tip." "Yeah, right." "Like I didn't have to pay the guy downstairs for the "Walden Package."" "You... you paid him?" "It was worth every penny." "Alan!" "Oh, by the way, I think you might be the one." "Alan!" "I'm your whore?" "Your whore?" "!" "Oh." "What?" "No!" "I mean, "whore" is such an ugly word for such a pretty man." "How could you!" "You knew I was using desperate, horny housewives for meaningless sex to improve myself, and you had to go and turn it into something ugly!" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "It just sort of happened by accident." "It was a one-time thing, and then you turned into the goose that laid the golden eggs, and then into the goose that laid whatever the hell I told it to." "This is a new low, even for you." "Oh, big words coming from someone having sex for money." "Alan..." "Yeah?" "Run." "Ow!" "My pimp hand!" "♪ Men. ♪" "♪ Men. ♪" "Hello?" "Hi." "Is this Adjustments by the Sea?" "Yeah." "But, uh, actually, we're closed." "Oh, that's such a shame." "'Cause I was really hoping to see Walden." "Oh, I'm Walden." "Please come in." "Hey... um, just to be clear, the way this works is that I pay you money and in return you have sex with me?" "Yes." "By the sea!" "All righty, then, I have heard all I need to hear." "Okay." "Are you... ready to start?" "Oh, yes." "But first, you have the right to remain silent." "And you have the right to make as much noise as you want." "Anything you say can and will be held against you." "I'd like to hold those against me." "Oh." "Oh, kinky." "Okay." "You're being arrested." "Yes, I am-- by your captivating gaze." "Oh, wait, I'm-I'm really being arrested?" "Yeah." "Oh, oh, God, no, no, we-we can work this out." "I-I have money." "Walden, Walden, help me." "Walden!" "Okay, wait, j-just to be clear, we're not having sex, right?" "When are you gonna tell him that was my acting coach?" "Probably after the cavity search." "By the sea!" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man"

"My name is Abby Mills." "And I've come home to Harper's Island." "My best friend is getting married" "To the girl of his dreams." "But not everything about this trip" "Is a celebration." "Seven years ago, I left this place" "After John Wakefield murdered six people." "My mother was one of them." "Everyone else has moved on..." "Believes the killings are in the past." "But I can't help feel..." "There's more to come." "Previously on Harper's Island" "Hunter's here on the island." "Hunter Jennings is a bad guy." "We have good guys now." "Why'd I go to the considerable expense of bringing you here,if you can't do your job?" "Please get me down." "I'm gonna go get some help." "Don't worry" " I'll be back." "No,please!" "I know you probably don't remember me." " You're Kelly." " I've always wondered" " If I could live in a place..." " Where people don't" "Look at you and think... "There go those girls whose moms were strung up by John Wakefield."" "My dad killed John Wakefield." "Then,how come I keep seeing him?" "You can stay with me in L.A." "This is the best day ever." "Gigi!" "No!" "Abby!" "Oh,hey,Beth." "Come on in." "If you say so." "Come on in!" "When I was 18, everything was alive" "Then the planes hit the towers" "Then she died, then he died" "A part of me disappeared six feet in the ground" "Million miles in the sky" "A fire burns,a fire burns" "A fire burns, and it is mine..." "How do you do it,Richard?" "I beg your pardon." "How do you not scream out loud?" "The velvet straightjacket of becoming a Wellington." "Yeah." "Henry,I make... excellent money." "Shea is happy, and Madison will always be taken care of." "What about you?" "What about your happiness?" "Well,you just... find a way." "Something is lost,then there's something to frame" "I just sing what I..." "Pull!" "Ow!" "Nice." "Way to go,Daddy." "Anyone ever beat your dad?" " At skeet shooting?" " Mm." "Not that I can remember." "Are you going to dethrone the king?" "Pull." " Damn it." " Oops." "It's all right." "Four out of five-- not bad." "You're up,Henry." "Ooh,go get 'em." "That's not like you,my love." "Madison,what are you doing?" "I'm practicing to be a flower girl." "Those aren't our flowers." "Let her have some fun-- it's not as if" " she has anyone to play with." " Oh,thank you." "Everything okay?" "Yes." "Mm-hmm." "You have written your toast for tonight,right?" "To thank Daddy." "Enough stalling,Henry." "Show us what you've got." "Oh,yes,Henry.Enough stalling." "Show him what you've got." "Come on,babe." "Pull." "'Cause you're stumblin' and fall" "You don't get nothin' done" "Pull!" "Forget all that you thought..." "Pull!" "Pull!" "Nothin's gonna change..." "That's all right,babe." "One more, and you could tie Daddy." "Yeah,Henry,let's see what you're made of." "Do you have what it takes to be a Wellington?" "Pull." "Congratulations." "Thank you,Katherine." "Too bad." "Maybe next time." "You did great." "I have never understood suicide." "I delivered Kelly." "Always hate to see them go while I'm still here." "Maybe I'm too old for this world, but why would this little girl go and put that on her body after what Wakefield did to her mother?" "I'd like you to confirm that Kelly did,in fact, die from hanging." "Why?" "You have reason to suspect otherwise?" "Just doing my job." "Let me know if you find anything else." "I'll do my best, but I haven't done a postmortem in over sev..." "Sheriff... you should look at this." "Normal,no." "Natural?" "؟" "ةؤـتا Maybe." "You're always gonna get some petechial hemorrhaging with hanging,but..." "I'd call this excessive." "There's also skin under her nails and evidence that she had sex yesterday." "it's viscous,like blood, but..." "I don't know." "I want you to be real thorough." "See if you can tell whether the sex was consensual or whether she was fighting someone off." "Well,that's a nasty thought." "But I guess a man in your position has got to think it." "To the hottest groomsmen." "Hey!" "Abs,you grew up on an island." "How can you not swim?" "I can swim." "I just wouldn't win any races." "What about you,Beth?" "Reversal!" "Looks like Cal is still recovering." "Yeah." "I'm surprised to see them out at all this morning." "They were at each other all night." "Whoa,he-he was pissed at her?" "Urkel No,Urkel." "Going at it." "Like howler monkeys." "I'm amazed anybody in the hotel got any sleep." "I heard them,too." "What's a boozzle-wozzle?" "I don't get it." "Sully He's a nice guy,Sully." "Sometimes, that's enough." "Hey,sorry again about leaving you hanging." "That was totally my bad." "Owe you a beer,okay?" "Is he apologizing or working Chloe?" "Um,knowing Sully, probably both." "Man's a multitasker." "Not me." "My plan for the day is to spa,spa and spa." "Can I talk to you?" "Hey,handsome." "You did great today." "Oh,come on." "You're not still mad about losing to my dad?" "No." "Well... then what?" "You'd choose me,right?" "What?" "I mean,if you had to choose between me and your dad." "Or me and... anybody." "You didn't hear?" "In three days, you and me..." "Together forever." "Just checking." "I have to go into town." "I'll see you later?" "Yeah,sure." "Got to figure out this toast." "Have fun." "I'm here about Kelly Seaver." "I didn't want you to hear it from someone else." "Hear what?" "Dad?" "Nikki Bolton Nikki Bolton found her last night." "What..." "Y-You're saying Kelly's..." "She's dead." "Abby,I'm sorry." "H-How did it" " I mean, I mean,what happened?" "It appears that she,um... she took her own life." "No..." "That doesn't make sense." "I-I saw her yesterday." "Sh... she was happy." "Doc Campbell told me that she has a history." "Has been on a lot of meds." "Swings can occur in a couple of hours." "How'd she do it?" "It doesn't matter." "Dad,tell me." "She hanged herself." "Is that why you're here?" "Because Kelly killed herself the same way Wakefield killed our mothers." "I don't want you to think about him." "Of John Wakefield?" "You can say his name,Dad." "Fine." "John Wakefield had nothing to do with Kelly's death." "Can you think of anyone else who might have seen or talked to her yesterday?" "Nothing comes to mind." "How does it look,Miss?" "I don't know,part of me thinks I should wear white on my wedding night." "I'm sorry,I said white." "Yeah,but I want to see you in this." "What are you do...?" "No,get out of here." " Oh,come on." " No,get out." " Let me look at you." " Hunter." "Stop it." "You used to like this game." "God." "What,d-did you really think going to my father was going to change my mind?" "What are you talking about?" "Um,yesterday." "Yeah,he told me everything-- that you asked for his help." "And what else did he say?" "That he said no,okay?" "And that he told you to leave." "Hey,look..." "I realized that if I didn't come see you then I would regret that for the rest of my life." "Well,you've seen me." "Now go." "ختجâتا Well,the problem is now that I've seen you, I'm convinced..." "I'm so sorry." "Here's..." "Well,I got to say, you two are going to make a gorgeous couple." "* Sooner than later, it ends *" "* Later than sooner, you realize... *" "* Is there anybody left..." "JD,it's Abby." "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "Tell Henry it's my morning off." "No plans to burn or maim anyone." "I'm not here for your brother." "Just open the door." "* ...isn't all about us" "* We're not alone here, after all... *" "I just got some bad news." "Um,I thought you should know." "Kelly is dead." "That's weird." "I don't think Kelly killed herself" "I'm not so sure." "Well,is that why you're here?" "You figure the freak must have killed her?" "I just want to understand what happened to her last night." "Not much to tell." "We hooked up, we had a good time." "When you told her that she could crash with you in L.A., she got all bouncy happy," "I mean,not like someone looking to end it." "Did she say anything about John Wakefield?" "She didn't have to." "I saw her body." "The tattoos." "He was all over her." "I know what you say to Thomas behind my back." "That I'm weak." "That I'm a coward." "Take off your blouse." "I said take it off." "Now,get down on your knees." "No." "You are going to do exactly as I say." "I've been very bad." "Yeah?" "It's spectacular." " Really?" " Henry's going to lose it when he sees you in this." " It's perfect." " Isn't it nice?" "Oh,my gosh, let me see the back." "The silk is amazing." "Yes,it's come together beautifully in the back." "Mom would be so proud." "Hunter?" "Hunter Jennings?" "Oh,my God, why is he calling you?" "You didn't invite him, did you?" "Of course not." "You told me he was leaving." "Wait,he's here on the island?" "Does Henry know?" "No,and you are forbidden to tell him,Beth." "Okay,I-I'm taking care of the Hunter situation." "The way you did in college?" "That's not fair." "What happened in college?" "Let's just say that Trish's mouth said go away,but her body said..." "Okay,that was different." "Okay?" "I love Henry, and I am marrying him in this dress in three days." "Okay?" "How on earth did you land her?" "Well," "I graduated from Cambridge." "I'm a medical doctor, an expert philatelist." "I think it's the accent." "I wake up every day praying she doesn't meet a cooler British person." "Or any other British person." "That's fine." "I know for a fact he isn't British." "Isn't that the guy that left you hanging in the woods all day?" "Yep." "He apologized,though." "Hey,Ruth,thanks for the call about Hunter Jennings." "Not a problem." "Though I was a little surprised you asked me to keep an eye out." "Too many guests at the Candlewick?" "Something like that." "He's a popular guy." "Yeah,yeah,he's a,he's a friend of the family." " I don't think he's here right now." " That's okay." "I just want to leave him a little welcome gift." "Just bring it right back." "Number four." "Thanks." "Well,you've done this before?" "Oh,yeah." "It's fantastic." "It's mostly honey, but they put these herbs in it." "Clears your pores and makes your skin very touchable." "Well,I like touchable." "Mmm,tastes pretty good,too." "Why aren't you doing it?" "Because I'm already touchable." "Well,maybe when we're finished, you and I can compare." "I'll be back in about ten minutes." "So I got to ask-- this English guy-- you know, he seems decent enough." "But really, what-what's he got that I don't got?" "A pillow." "What?" "* Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa" "* Whoa,whoa, whoa,whoa,whoa... *" "Well-played,my love." "You are dead!" "Come here,you English piece of crap!" "Looks like Pooh Bear got in the honey pot." "I wouldn't mind a more recent picture,if you've got one." "I need to talk to you." "Okay by me." "I don't think Kelly killed herself." "Really?" "Is that what JD Dunn said to you?" "Maggie Krell saw him leave the Candlewick with Kelly." "Why are you questioning Maggie" "If you think Kelly committed suicide?" "I don't have to explain my methods to you." "Oh,because you're so open and honest about everything else." "Abby,look, I don't want to do this." "I am doing the best..." "The only deaths we have had on this island" "In the last seven years have been from" "Illness or old age." "Kelly is a tragedy," "No matter how she died." "I'm just trying to do right by her." "I heard Shane was giving her grief about Wakefield yesterday." "Yeah." "But... since you're not investigating anything," "There's no real reason to go talk to him,is there?" "Bye,Dad." "Sheriff." "Shane." "I reckon you've heard." "Can't believe she really did it." "I mean,she used to talk sometimes,but..." "I never thought that..." "People say you saw Kelly at The Cannery yesterday," "Gave her a pretty good scare." "Yep." "I feel pretty bad about that." "And not that it's any of your business," "But Kelly and I broke up a while back." "It was at a party at Harmon Beach." "Ask around,man." "I'm in with the Swells now." "Well,congratulations on that." "You see JD Dunn today?" "Nope." "Then again," "We ain't real tight,you know." "You take care." "You hear that?" "Sheriff thinks you killed Kelly." "You know what?" "I think he's right." "I'm sorry,it's just," "I'm just really pissed at her." "Nikki So you think she really did it,Nikki." "No." "I'll tell you who did it." "It was that bastard John Wakefield." "He's dead." "You and I know that." "I'm just telling you what Kelly believed." "She saw Wakefield in every shadow." "You know,she'd call me at 3:00 in the morning," "Convinced that he'd been in her room." "You know,I hate to say it,but..." "Maybe she killed herself so he couldn't." "I'm sorry,Abby." "I didn't mean to talk so much about Wakefield." "That's okay." "What if it wasn't all in her head?" "What if someone really was stalking her?" "Who?" "Shane?" "He was pretty pissed when" "She broke up with him." "Angry enough to hurt her?" "Yeah." "Yeah,he got really rough with her." "You know,I'd find her,like," "Crying and..." "Covering up her bruises with makeup." "You know,I told her to talk to your dad," "To get a restraining order," "But she wouldn't listen to me,you know." "Said it would make things worse." "Now I don't know what to think." "It's open." "You lied to Trish." "She saw us together." "I had no choice." "What if I can still get Trish to leave with me?" "That deal's off the table." "All right,well, here's a new deal for you." "I'll leave tonight,alone,but it's gonna cost you 50 grand." "Or I can tell Trish the truth," "That this was all your idea." "She'll never believe you." "Then we'll see." ".............." "Shane?" "You in?" "Are you looking for me?" "You know what Kelly's problem was?" "She was just so desperate for attention" "That she didn't even care what kind" "Of a nut job she got it from." "Come on,Shane." "No,no,no." "I'm not listening to you." "Kelly did,Kelly listened, and look what happened to her." "Were you talking to her about L.A.?" "What the hell did you think she was gonna do when she got there?" "I don't know, but sh-she wanted to try." "She wanted a fresh start." "There's no such thing." "Moving was not gonna save Kelly." "She took him with her everywhere she went." "She dug his name into her skin." "Aren't you the one who gave her the Wakefield tattoos?" "She wanted those." "They were her idea." "Then why do you sound so guilty?" "It's not your fault,Shane." "It's not JD's either." "I know what really happened." "That's why I came here-- to tell you." "Kelly was murdered." "What?" "You..." "No,you... you don't know that." "I do,too." "Kelly was right." "It was Wakefield." "He was after her." "He was the one who did it." "You know, you're as daft as she was." "I know you're worried people might blame you, but I know you love Kelly." "She wouldn't shut up about Wakefield." "Well,she knew." "She..." "She could feel him... watching her and coming into her house in the middle of the night." "I didn't believe her." "And that's how he got away with it." "Nobody did." "He chose Kelly because no one would believe her." "John Wakefield slipped the noose around her neck, just like he did to her mother." "She probably didn't even struggle." "In a way, it's what she wanted... what she needed to find peace." "And then, he yanked her up and watched her die." "Shane!" "Drop the knife!" "What does Richard think?" "Everyone thinks commercial real estate's a sinkhole right now, and I'm happy to let them think that." "Of course,Richard wants to play it safe." "I know grandmothers with more investment savvy." "I'll leave you two alone." "I know you got a lot of money, and you can say whatever you think,but you're a bully, and I'm tired of it." "I hope your toast is a little more eloquent than that." "My toast isn't your problem." "I know you brought Hunter here." "Don't worry,I'm not going to tell Trish,but know this:" "I'm marrying her, and I'm going to make her happy," "whether you approve of me or not." "Come on." "That was some story you told in there about Wakefield still being alive." "I was just trying to distract Shane." "I think he's blaming himself for Kelly's death." "I don't think Kelly killed herself, but I don't think Shane did it." "What do you think?" "I don't know, but Kelly was a sweet girl, and if someone did that to her... if someone hung her up to die," "I'm gonna make sure that person pays." "Dude,you are so shiny." "Yeah,and I smell really great,too." "Sorry about today,mate." "Totally my bad." "I owe you a beer,okay?" " That's harsh." " Truly." "Our best player just got played." "Okay..." "I am going to kill Cal." "No." "No,you're not." "You left him hanging like a piٌata." "He got you back." "You're even." "Awesome." "$50000 or I tell Trish the truth -by Hunter" "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." "I would like to thank my future father-in-law," "Thomas Wellington, for this dinner, for this week, and most importantly, for fathering the most amazing woman I have ever met." "Thank you." "Now,I'll be honest-- some of my friends wondered if Mr. Wellington would ever accept the guy that used to clean his boat as his son-in-law, but the... lovely and surprising truth is he doesn't have a choice." "To Thomas Wellington." "Health,wealth and all happiness." "Cheers." "Hello?" "That was foolish." "Your check." "But you'll never speak to my daughter again." "Sheriff kills suspect" " John Wakefield" "The Candlewick Inn" "Hey,Doc." "The red in Kelly's eyes..." "I can't explain how or why, but,Sheriff... it was ink." "Okay." "Charlie,did you hear what I just said?" "Someone did this to her-- someone put ink......" "I heard you."

"For the past few years, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington have been meeting regularly for a series of pointless conversations." "This is one of them." "Testing." "Is that all right?" "Hello, and welcome to The Ricky Gervais Show, with me, Ricky Gervais," "Stephen Merchant..." "Hello." "And the little round-headed buffoon that is Karl Pilkington." "Hi." "Um, I thought we could play, uh, Room 101." "Room 101 of course is taken from George Orwell's 1984." "Mmm-hmm." "Room of all your fears and terrors and so, uh..." "Is there a copyright issue here?" "Can we just steal this idea?" "Uh, well yeah, well let's play Room 102." "Clever." "This is the room next door to Room 101, which is worse, in my opinion." "So Karl, these are things that really annoy you." "Uh..." "Slugs, is in there." "Slugs." "So, um, then there's... you have to put a case forward, and me and Steve decide whether slugs go in, or whether they stay out, whether they've got a purpose." "It's just 'cause I'm having a problem with slugs." "At the moment, there's a lot of slugs coming in the house." " Why?" " Don't know." "I just... they can get where, like, water can, you know what I mean?" "'Cause they're boneless, aren't they?" "So any little gap..." "So is water boneless?" "There's not many bones in water." "No, that's what I said." "Why... why banish them all to Room 102, slugs, because they're harmless, aren't they?" "All I know is, they're clogging up me piping." "I had to go out and buy a plunger." "I hadn't seen them since, like, comics when I was a kid." "And I suddenly thought, I need one of them things that I always saw in comics." "I never thought I'd need one of them in me life." "I've got slugs in me pipes." "So I went out, three quid it was." "I had no idea what the going rate is for a plunger." "Gave it a bit of plunge." "Uh, and I think it was slugs." "Like, all like bits of black stuff came up." "I think it was slugs in there, like broken-up slugs." "Well hang on, hang on, hang on, it could just b black gunk, couldn't it?" "No, no, it looked very sluggish." "Because, remember, I've had a problem with them anyway." "I'll go to the toilet or whatever, look 'round, there's a slug climbing up the wall out of the shower basin thing." "Are you sure it's a slug?" "Yeah, definitely." "Definitely slugs." "I have to keep chucking them out, because I don't like killing anything." "Right." "I didn't want to kill the slugs with slug pellets, so I bought some copper ribbon." "Right, they don't like going over that, do they?" "They don't like that." "They get a little shock." "They get a little charge, yeah." "But now that should be a warning." "But instead, they're diverting." "They've done a diversion." "They've gone up the wall and across." "Now it's like, that's a warning." "That's like having a "No trespassing" sign." "Yeah." "And they're just going, "Bollocks to that."" "And they're getting in,." "And now, you get to a point when you do say, well, if they carry on like this, I'll have to kill them, because they're not..." "How much..." "They're not playing by the rules." "I don't know what they're doing, and I don't know what their purpose is." "They just sit there, still." "I don't see 'em doing anything." "I was looking at one close up..." "Well, what do you want them to do?" "Be reading Rousseau?" "What do you want a slug to do?" "In the same way you see a bee collecting pollen..." "good, it's doing it's little work." "Ants carrying big leaves, or whatever." "But slugs just sat there..." "They're all doing the same thing." "They're all doing the same thing." "That slug is out, it's eating." "But it's not..." "It's finding food." "There's no food." "There's no food in our kitchen for a slug, believe me." "There's not enough there for me, sometimes." "But never mind a slug." "There's nothing for it." "Definitely not in the shower." "What's it doing?" "So, I told you ages ago about how they cause more problems than good." "They eat, they eat cabbage..." "Right." "Um, when they shouldn't be." "Um..." "They get in letterboxes and nick stamps." "They don't nick stamps." "They eat the stamps." "They like the glue on it." "Right." "Right." "Is this a big problem, though?" "Is there an epidemic of slugs eating stamps?" "But I think it is, and that's why they're so slow." "I think they're sweating glue." "All right, they're eating all them, and that's why they're sticking to stuff." "Have you ever picked up a slug?" "Well sticky." "They give off this glue." "It's like all the glue that they're eating off stamps." "They panic, and when they sweat, they sweat glue." "Sweat!" "Think of a drug... a slug..." "What do you mean, they sweat glue?" "You're making up nature." "It makes sense." "That is not..." "This is just a nonsense theory." "It's just what I've noticed on them." "Right." "Rick, do you allow slugs in Room 102?" "Well I just wanna..." "I think we should, you know, you know, if they're gonna be gone forever, then we should... we should put a case forward." "They're amazing creatures." "What do they do for the world?" "They're food." "It's not good enough, that." "Not good enough." "What do you mean?" "Well, that's the ultimate sacrifice." "Surely them being food..." "I'm just having problems with them at the moment." "I spent three quid on a plunger, and I don't like the idea that every time I get up in the night to go into the toilet or whatever, I gotta put the light on, 'cause I might have a bit of sluggage between me toes." "Sluggage!" "A little bit of sluggage between my toes!" "Right, okay." "We need to move on." "So, you're not putting them in?" "I'm not putting slugs in." "All right." "Slugs have not gone in Karl, I'm afraid." "What's your next one?" "Ok, number two." "Um, people who don't want to do what the brains would be better at doing." "Right, okay." "Now, I've gotta get around that sentence." "Now tell me again?" "Brains that don't wanna do what their owners are good at." "Ah, so now it's the brain's fault." "Can you just expand on that point please, KP?" "Do you know, like... people decide what they want to do." "Right." "Don't they, for a living?" "Well, sometimes they're not good enough." "Right." "You mean they have a dream, and they can't fulfill it because they haven't got the skill or..." "Yeah, but that doesn't mean they're not good for anything." "No." "It's just that they haven't unlocked the thing that they're good at." "Of course." "So I mean, that's..." "There's much bigger issues there that, um, poor, working-class people don't get the same opportunities." "When you're worrying about whether you're gonna live through the next few days, you don't start thinking, "Oh, I wonder if I can play the cello?"" "Can I refer you back though, Rick?" "You made an interesting point there, but I fear that's not exactly what Karl was saying." "Go on." "I don't think that his point was quite that profound." "Uh, yeah that's kind of what I meant." "Yeah, I don't know." "There was something to do with the brain not allowing its owner..." "Yeah, because that's the bit that annoys me." "Fair enough if a brain hasn't decided what it wants to do because you don't..." "What is this..." "Let him, let him finish." "Oh God, this thing about the brain..." "Let him finish." "Shut up." "Because it hasn't, it hasn't found its destiny-type thing." "The brain hasn't found its destiny." "But, when someone is good at something, and they know the brain is good at something, but then they don't want to do it, and they want to go off and do something else." "Now they say in this country the problem is we haven't got enough tradesmen." "Right." "Not enough plumbers." "Right." "There's enough plumbers' brains." "I don't know what the fuck that means!" "Shut up!" "Let him speak." "What are you talking about?" "Shut up." "Let him please finish." "Let him finish." "Because this is like the slug beds and pillows again." "Brains have not changed over the years." "The brain is exactly the same." "But it's the owner of the brain that's in charge." "The brain could be going," ""I want to go for a walk."" "But if your body's too lazy to get up and go and see the stuff, the brain isn't gonna get what it wants." "It doesn't make sense, Karl." "You are your brain!" "All right." "Let's go to the extreme." "People with no legs, who want to be swimmers." "Don't be stupid." "Oh, God!" "Oh, God." "And he's so annoyed!" "Is this a big problem?" "It's, it's madness, isn't it?" "It's mad that the brain wants to do that so much." "The brain's in the wrong, in the wrong body almost." "Yet... are you with me?" "No!" "No." "A plumber, a plumber..." "A plumber who can plumb is annoying when he jacks it in as a living, because there's other brains who can't do plumbing." "They don't get their head 'round it." "I don't know what this means." "I don't know what you're putting in Room 102, 'cause you're saying it's like this brain's wandering around..." "Who's to blame?" "Looking for a body, and it goes," ""Oh, I'll choose that body."" ""Hang on, this body doesn't even want to do some plumbing."" "It's a matter of taste." "It's just a matter of taste." "Sometimes it's..." "I'm not putting the brain in." "It's just people..." "Uh, if I had a really good skill," "I'd hope that, that I'd use it." "So people who don't fulfill their own potential." "Is that a better point?" "Yeah, that's what I meant." "Who am I talking to now, Karl, or his brain?" "We're both listening." "Well, um, I will put in people who don't fulfill their full potential." "Slugs are safe." "What's your next thing to try and get in Room 102?" "It's a tricky one, this." "Go on." "It's, it's people who, um... who think... that humans are special." " Do you know what I mean?" " But you think that." "No, I don't." "I don't think humans are special." "I think some of us are." "Look at it like this." "You see, I think, we think we're important because, we just do." "Well I don't, but some do." "And they're the ones I want to get rid of." "Another argument with himself." "Now, we think we're special." "There might be something else going on that's more important." "We're in this universe, aren't we?" "Yeah." "Trying to make a new universe." "What do you mean?" "There's a machine somewhere, a big bang." "We're making a big bang again." "Right." "Well that..." "you've got that completely wrong, but sure." "They're not trying to create a new world, they're trying to recreate the conditions that happened at the beginning of the big bang." "All right, so they, but the world came..." "It's a bit different." "But the world came from the big bang." "Yeah, but they're trying to recreate the conditions so they can test and they can experiment to see..." "Dangerous." "The conditions before..." "So why are they doing that?" "Who's allowed that?" "This is what annoys me." "It's because humans think they're special." ""Oh, who made the big bang?"" ""Oh, I'd like me name on that."" ""I wanna claim it."" "Why do people always want to better someone else?" "It's happened, let them have it." "Okay, right." "Okay, Karl." "You're in charge of the world now." "You are this... you're all-powerful." "You're like a god, okay?" "You can do anything." "You go..." "You call all the scientists, and they go," ""What do you want of us, oh, oh orange-headed one?"" ""What the fuck do you want of us, right?"" "What do you want them to do?" "Go." "What do you say?" "Uh... well, I want to come in, and..." "How long have they been working on the big bang idea?" "Forget it, it doesn't..." "you've got every scientist..." "No, but I don't just want to come in and pooh-pooh that, 'cause they're gonna..." "Poo-poo." "They've done a lot of research on it." "Well, hold on." "You wanted it stopped a minute ago!" "Yeah I know, but you don't just come in, guns a' blazing." "I'd say, I'd say, "Hello everyone."" "You can do anything you want." "Go on then." "Hello, everyone." "Hello Karl, leader." "Right." "Uh, listen." "Uh, this big-bang thing you've been doing..." "Yeah, well that's just only a few of us." "That's like less than a millionth of a percent of us." "We're all here." "Yeah." "I've dropped AIDS research." "I've dropped cancer research." "Right." "Well, why have you dropped that?" "Who's told you to do that?" "I'm working on new..." "Well no, we just... well, we knocked off." "They said you wanted to tell us something." "We're all here." "Every scientist in the world is here." "Listen, what research are you doing?" "Oh, well I'm looking at, um, what happens if you give Feminax to an owl." "What happens?" "Well I'm halfway through it, you..." "I got called away." "Look, I'm really busy." "What do you want me to work on?" "Who said they're doing cancer?" "Me." "Go back." "Go back to work." "Cheers." "Right." "Okay." "The rest of us doing stuff that you think we're fanning around with, what would you want us to do?" "Listen, well, I can't do it all today." "What about me?" "I was doing AIDS." "Hang on a minute." "I was doing AIDS." "You just wait a minute." "Right, okay." "Why does cancer get to go back?" "Are you saying that cancer's a bigger problem than AIDS?" "You go back to work." "So, AIDS can go back." "I'm doing..." "Oh, I'm doing restless leg syndrome." "Right." "Can everybody but the big bang people leave?" "Tell you another problem that I worked out." "It might, might make a slight difference on fat people." "Don't put a light in the fridge, because that's just, that's just..." "at night, when they get peckish, they can see everything that's in there." "Don't put the light there." "You don't need a light in a fridge." "There's no lights in other cupboards." "Yet where there's food, it's like fatties getting up at four in the morning." "What can I have?" "What's that at the back?" "Get rid of the light, they'd eat less." "There might be some logic in that." "That's interesting." "What's it there for?" "Tell me what that light is there for." "They say turn off your standby light, yet you've got a light in your fridge, showing where tomatoes is, or chocolate." "Well, no, it is turned off." "It's turned off when you shut the..." "the light's not on when the door's not open." "Yes, but a fat person has always got the fridge door open." "So, what you're saying, in a way, is that the free market, capitalism being what it is, which has allowed companies, food manufacturers, to make them more, full of more salt, more fat, in order to attract you in order to make more profits," "is actually resulting in obesity." "I was in a cafe, right, um..." "I normally like to go in there, and I might have beans on toast, uh..." "Cheese on top?" "Cup of tea." "I might have a bit of cheese." "Yeah, cheddar on top." "Uh, only if they offer." "Sometimes I think I shouldn't have it, so I'll only have it if they say, "Do you want cheese?" Oh, okay." "And then it's down to their problem." "Do you know what I mean?" "It's kind of like, they made me have that." "So, anyway I'm sat in there, this little fella..." "I'd say he was from, like Africa or something, uh, came in, and he had a little top hat on, suitcase, and red jeans." "Dead happy he was." "I think he just turned up to London." "It's his first day out, and he's probably thinking, "I can't believe me luck, look at the choice here."" "Anyway, the difference was..." "All conjecture." "Yeah." "All hypothesis." "Yeah." "Okay, go on." "The difference was, he went in and he said," ""Have you got any porridge?"" "He asked for two bowls for the price of one." "There was a little bit of a..." "A kerfuffle?" "Yeah, a little bit, because he couldn't understand why." ""You've got loads of porridge." "Give me two portions."" "But what... what I found interesting is, he didn't wanna go for the donut, or the pastry, because in his country they don't..." "they don't have it." "RICKY:" "Hmm." "So food, where he's from, is for what food is for, isn't it?" "Giving you energy." "Here, it's not about that, is it?" "No." "You go, "Oh, I'd..." "I'd love a little muffin."" "So I just found..." "I just found it interesting." "That's all me point is, that he could have anything." "He's come over here, he's in London." "He's got loads of stuff on offer." "Yet he still wants his porridge." "Do you think, uh, that... well, firstly, do you think perhaps he had traveled from the past, in some kind of time machine?" "But, secondly, do you think that now that he'll have a... he'll have his first taste of a donut, wouldn't he, or a pain au chocolat..." "Do you think he'll get a taste of it the next time you see him?" "Well, maybe, that's... that's how it works, isn't it?" "I mean, why do I like..." "And when next time, when they go, "Hello, usual?"" ""No, shove the porridge." "I want a donut."" "That's, that's what happens, isn't it?" "It's all about a mixture." "You need a mixture in your body." "You need to have... like I've told, said to you before, I get an urge for things that I don't even know about." "Do you know what I mean?" "What, like what?" "What are you talking about?" "Anything." "The one that always surprises me are plums," "Because I shouldn't get an urge for plums." "I don't like 'em enough." "But if I pass them in the supermarket, I go, "I might want 'em for a bit."" ""Yeah, I think you need that."" "And I go mad, I'll eat a full packet in a day." "I'll eat, like, six and get a bellyache, and I know I shouldn't overdo it with them, but it's just like, your body..." "He's like a creature, isn't he?" "Me body just calls out for stuff." "It doesn't, Karl." "No, it feels that way, because I wouldn't normally buy 'em." "Me favorite fruit..." "I like an apple, love a banana." "I've got into, uh, blackberries." "Quite expensive, but a bit of a treat." "I think there's plenty of fruit out there, bananas, apples, oranges." "We've got plenty of fruit." "They can't get rid of fruit quick enough." "There's loads of stuff with fruit in it now, shower gel with kiwi in it." "I'm telling you." "They can't get rid of it, because it's too much." "So they say, "What can we do with all this stuff?" "Let's stick it in there."" "Orange juice, I had a orange juice sort of cordial," "Yeah." "Tastes a bit weird, this isn't orange..." "Sneaked a bit of pineapple in, orange and pineapple." "They can't get rid of the stuff." "I'm, I'm a big fan of the Satsuma." "Easy to peel." "What I don't like is the big oranges you have to peel them, and you get it on your..." "They're the ones that I eat when I'm in the bath." "So, you just dunk under the water afterwards and you're clean again?" "If I'm going to have a bath then, you know." "That's what you do." "So it's two treats." "It's an orange and a bath." "I mean, that's amazing." "That's an amazing thing to look forward to." "Don't think you've blown that for when you're old, when you're 74?" "And they'll go, "I'll tell you what, Karl." "Lovely treats, a bath and an orange."" ""Done it." "I did it when I was 36."" "So, uh, have you heard of Desert Island Discs?" "Yeah." "Good, let's do that." "Right." "Forget the eight records, we can't play 'em anyway." "We can't play 'em anyway." "I know, but for people in other countries, they may not be familiar with Desert Island Discs." "Oh, it's, it's a program." "It's a real national institution here." "They get, uh, you know, prime ministers and leaders of men, and really eminent people to go on, and you talk about your life, and you choose your eight favorite tunes." "You take uh, a luxury item, and you're allowed to take any book." "I did it, and I, I took a book, I think a tabletop book of art." "Why would you take that?" "You can't take anything that's useful." "It's just, you know, it's... you know it's any luxury item you can't..." "I took a vat of Novocaine." "I thought if I get a toothache, I'm sipping on that till I die." "If I'm stuck here with nothing to do, I've got eight records, I'm going to be sick of them." "That's the thing." "I'm looking at art." "At least I'm looking at something, you know..." "What book would you take, Karl?" "Well I wouldn't take an art book, anyway." "I know that." "Right, okay, so come on, one book..." "Because you're gonna get sick of it." "You're going to get sick of..." "Right, one book." "You can't get sick of art either, okay." "You can." "You can." "You can have a brilliant picture on your wall, but eventually, remember what I've said to you." "Your eyes get bored of anything." "I don't remember him saying that." "I think I blanked out." "I think he came in one ear, straight out the other." "Well that's why relationships break up, because the eyes get sick of looking at that other person." "And you go, "Me eyes want a change."" "That's what it's all about." ""Me eyes want a change." "Okay, sorry love..."" "Fuckin' hell, choose a book to take." "I'd probably take a dictionary or something like that." " Oh, that's ridiculous!" " Why?" "Why would you take a dictionary?" "Just because I'm not that good with words." "But what would you want words for?" "You're not talking to anyone any more." "You don't have to worry about your vocabulary." "You have to worry about..." "Oh..." "But there'll be a lot of talking to yourself probably." "It'd be nice to sort of..." "Oh, so you're gonna bring yourself up on your grammar, are you?" "You're talking to yourself and you go," ""Oh Karl, you're an idiot." "You don't say it like that."" "Well if you got to talk yourself, it would be nice to have..." "Why are you talking to yourself, you maniac?" "'Cause there's no one else about." "Yeah, but you don't open your mouth and actually verbally talk in order to talk..." "Also, what does it matter if you've got a dictionary or not?" "Who's arguing with who?" "Because, sometimes I feel frustrated when I don't..." "I can't get me point across." " But it's just you!" " You already know your point!" "Exactly, that's even more annoying." "Look how you're getting annoyed now." "You're annoyed with me 'cause I can't explain what I mean." "Yeah." "I don't want to be annoying meself." "Why would you be annoying yourself?" "But you already understand your point!" "You don't need to vocalize it." "Well, sometimes I think through what I'm saying." "Yeah?" "And I think, "Does that make sense?" And sometimes I'll go, "No it doesn't."" "And I'll go, "Why is that?" And then, you work it out in your head." "Now if I've got a better vocab, I'll have a good little chat." "What?" "What?" "Have a good little chat?" "With yourself?" "If you're not keeping yourself interested in anything, your brain's going to get turned to mush." "Now, I'm, I'm..." "I know how you feel." "I'm teaching me brain stuff, keeping it active." "Mmm." "The only thing you've got on that island is your imagination and your thoughts." "Now, if you can make those imaginations and thoughts better, which you do with language, you're going to have a better time, aren't ya?" "Well now, if you've had the thought, you've had the thought." "You don't go, "Hold on, I'd have a thought here, but I can't think of the word."" "You don't think in language in that same way, do you really?" "You think more conceptually." "When someone came up..." ""Oh, guess what?" "I just found a cure for..." "oh, I can't think of the word."" "Forget it." "I will..." "I've just worked out the cure for..." "I can't think of the word." "Let's look it up." "What is it?" "Cancer!" "No, but just to think..." "language is a powerful thing, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Uh..." "Now he's run out of words." "You see, this is what I'm saying." "It's sometimes difficult for me to get me point across with what I mean." "Yeah, but that's fair enough, if you're communicating, say, in this environment, and it's, dare I say it, perhaps a shame that you didn't read a dictionary before we started doing the broadcasting." "But anyway, you've waited till you're on a desert island, with no other fucker around..." "Well, no, no, we're..." "I think by then, by the time you get shipwrecked, there will probably be a few more entries to the dictionary." "Um, grippage, foodage, rummanging, replemishing." "But, so what?" "All words are made up." "Orange." "One day someone went, what?" "He's got a head like..." "He's got a head like something..." "He's got a head like a fucking what?" "I don't even know what..." "He's got a head like a fucking what?" "And the other thing is, say if I am captured..." " By who?" " Who?" "What?" "By who?" "By a boat that's passing." "Captured?" "Do you mean saved?" " All right, saved then, yeah." " Okay." "If I'm saved... there you go again, you see." "I went for "captured" instead of "saved."" "You're captured by some pirates..." "But you're not talking to anyone, Karl, in your head." "It didn't matter." "You knew what you meant." "When you sat there on that desert island and you thought," ""What if I'm captured by a boat,"" "they didn't come over and go, "All right Karl, we've come to save you."" "You wouldn't go, "Well no, I don't want saving, I want capturing."" "They go, "Right, sorry." "Wait for the next boat."" "It didn't matter." "You knew what you meant." "You'd go, "Help!"" "And you'd get on the boat." "Do you, do you think in words that you don't use?" "You've only got yourself for company." "Yes, but you don't..." "If you bore yourself, what's the point?" "What is the point, seriously?" "But how are you gonna..." "What, so you think you're gonna read that dictionary and you're going to be better company, 'cause you're going to be impressing yourself with longer words?" "You're going to go..." "If a boat passes, and they go," ""There's a fellow over there on that island, let's go and get him."" "Now, the way I am at the moment, they'd go, "You all right?"" "And I'd go, "You what?"" "And they'd go, "Don't stop."" "Where..." "That's it!" "Imagine that!" "Whereas, if I sort of say something with a big word that I cannot think of right now, they'll go "Oh, who's that?" "He sounds like he knows..."" "Yoo-hoo!" "Antidisestablishmentarianism!" "Get him on this boat now!" "Wasn't enough, our wit." "But then I'm on the news and they go," ""Oh, Karl, what was it like on the island?"" "And I can start saying stuff." "It was scramfarious!" "No, but then, I think it makes it more interesting." "Whereas at, at this moment in time," "I'd struggle telling what it's like." "I like the idea of you trying to educate yourself, I love the idea." "But do it now." "But there's so many other books." "If I'm stuck with one..." "Okay, the dictionary, you've got a dictionary." "Fine." "What's your luxury item?" "What's your luxury item, quick?" "Let's geoff this island." "Come on." "What did you take for your luxury?" "A vat of Novocaine." "Oh, yeah." "Some Revels, a big sort of bag." " A big bag of Revels." " A big bag of Revels." "Just for the variety." "But, there's no variety particularly, in revels." "They're all chocolate, aren't they?" "No, all different." "You got orange ones, you've got coffee, caramel, malteasers." "I mean, taking Novocaine isn't great, is it?" "If you don't get a toothache, you'll be going, "Why didn't I bring Revels?""

"(CAR HORNS HONKING)" "(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)" "(TUNING RADIO)" "ANNOUNCER:" "It's another hot, sunny day today here in Southern California." "Temperature is 84 for downtown Los Angeles, overnight lows of 75." "(CAR HORNS CONTINUE HONKING)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR 1 RADIO)" "(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR 2 RADIO)" "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR 3 RADIO)" "(COMMENTATOR CHATTERING ON CAR 4 RADIO)" "(SMOOTH LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR 5 RADIO)" "(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR 6 RADIO)" "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR 7 RADIO)" "(FEMALE DRIVER VOCALIZING)" "♪ I think about that day ♪" "♪ I left him at a Greyhound station west of Santa Fe ♪" "♪ We were 17, but he was sweet and it was true ♪" "♪ Still, I knew what I had to do ♪" "♪ 'Cause I just knew ♪" "♪ Summer Sunday nights ♪" "♪ We'd sink into our seats right as they dimmed out all the lights ♪" "♪ A technicolor world made out of music and machine ♪" "♪ It called me to be on that screen ♪" "♪ And live inside each scene ♪" "♪ Without a nickel to my name, hopped a bus, here I came ♪" "♪ Could be brave or just insane, we'll have to see ♪" "♪ 'Cause maybe in that sleepy town ♪" "♪ He'll sit one day, the lights are down ♪" "♪ He'll see my face and think how he used to know me ♪" "♪ Climb these hills, I'm reaching for the heights ♪" "♪ And chasing all the lights that shine ♪" "♪ And when they let you down ♪" "♪ You get up off the ground ♪" "♪ 'Cause morning rolls around ♪" "♪ And it's another day of sun ♪" "♪ I hear 'em every day ♪" "♪ The rhythms in the canyons that'll never fade away ♪" "♪ The ballads in the barrooms left by those who came before ♪" "♪ They say "You gotta want it more" ♪" "♪ So I bang on every door ♪" "♪ And even when the answer's "no" ♪" "♪ Or when my money's running low ♪" "♪ The dusty mic and neon glow are all I need ♪" "♪ And someday as I sing my song ♪" "♪ A small-town kid'll come along ♪" "♪ That'll be the thing to push him on ♪" "♪ And go, go ♪" "♪ Climb these hills, I'm reaching for the heights ♪" "♪ And chasing all the lights that shine ♪" "♪ And when they let you down ♪" "♪ You get up off the ground ♪" "♪ 'Cause morning rolls around ♪" "♪ And it's another day of sun ♪" "(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)" "(ALL CHEERING)" "♪ Once they've let you down ♪" "♪ And morning rolls around ♪" "♪ It's another day of sun ♪" "♪ It's another day of sun ♪" "♪ It's another day of sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun ♪" "♪ It's another day of sun ♪" "♪ Just another day of sun ♪" "♪ It's another day of sun ♪" "♪ Another day has just begun ♪" "♪ It's another day of sun ♪" "(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)" "(CAR HORNS HONKING MELODICALLY)" "♪ It's another day of sun. ♪" "(CAR HORNS HONKING)" "(ANNOUNCER ON RADIO) ...already has won three Oscars, including for the 1998 film Shakespeare in Love." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON TAPE)" "(REWINDS)" "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "MIA:" "I mean, we could not believe what was happening." "I swear to God, she was wrecked." "(LAUGHS) She was completely wrecked!" "I know." "I know, it was pure insanity." "It's insanity..." "Ah!" " "Lunacy!" "It was pure lunacy." - (HORN HONKING INSISTENTLY)" "What is his prob..." "I should go." "(JAZZY CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)" "Cappuccino, please." " Right." "Of course." " On us." "Oh, no, thank you." "I insist." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "(WHISPERING) Did you see who that was?" "(CELL PHONE CHIMES)" "Shit!" " Mia, where do you think you're going?" " Oh, it's five after." " You better be here early tomorrow." " Okay." "Have a good night!" "Uh!" "(BOTH EXCLAIM)" "(LAUGHING)" "She was wrecked!" "It was pure lunacy, it was..." "It was so crazy, and I just..." "Oh, you would have died." "No, Turner's fine." "Turner's fine." "I just, um..." "Are you gonna wait 'til Denver to tell her, or...?" "What?" "Okay." "(VOICE BREAKING) No, I'm happy for you." "I am." "I'm happy for you, I just..." "I just thought..." " I don't know, I guess I thought..." " CASTING DIRECTOR:" "One second." " What, Ruby?" " RUBY:" "Jessica's on the phone." "CASTING DIRECTOR:" "Um, tell her I'll call her back." "RUBY:" "In two minutes?" " Less than two minutes." " I'll go get your lunch." "I'm almost done." "Thank you." "Oh, you know what?" "I think we're good." "Thanks for coming in." "(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)" "(SHOWER RUNNING)" "(TURNS OFF SHOWER)" "(HUMMING)" "Whoa!" "Holy shit!" "You wanna open a window?" " I was trying to give you an entrance." " Thank you." "ALEXIS:" "Mia!" "How'd the audition go?" "Eh." "Eh, same here." "Was Jen there or Rachel?" " I don't know who Jen and Rachel are." " They're the worst." " Well, I don't know if they were there." " I bet they were." "CAITLIN:" "Why is there a convention in the bathroom?" "TRACY:" "Two minutes, people." "Mia, you're coming, right?" "I can't!" "I'm working." "TRACY:" "What?" "Did she just say "working"?" " (KNOCKING ON DOOR)" " What?" "I'm sorry it didn't go well today, and there's like four things in my inbox that you're perfect for, and I will submit you." "But right now you're coming!" "It'll be fun." " It's not gonna be fun." " It could be." "It's not." "It's gonna be a bunch of social climbers all packed into one of those big glass houses." "This looks familiar." " I was gonna give that back." " How long have you had this?" " A long time." " Come on, Mia." "When else are you gonna get to see every Hollywood cliché crammed into the same room?" "We'll make fun of it together!" "(GASPS) I'm disappointed in you, Lex." "There's nothing to make fun of." "This party's gonna be humanity at its finest." "♪ You've got the invitation ♪" "♪ You've got the right address ♪" "♪ You need some medication?" "♪" "♪ The answer's always "yes" ♪" "♪ A little chance encounter ♪" "♪ Could be the one you've waited for ♪" "♪ Just squeeze a bit more ♪" "♪ Tonight we're on a mission, tonight's the casting call ♪" "♪ If this is the real audition ♪" "Oh, God help us all!" "♪ You make the right impression ♪" "♪ Then everybody knows your name ♪" "♪ You're in the fast lane!" "♪" "♪ Someone in the crowd could be the one you need to know ♪" "♪ The one to finally lift you off the ground ♪" "♪ Someone in the crowd could take you where you wanna go ♪" "♪ If you're the someone ready to be found ♪" "♪ If you're the someone ready to be ♪" "♪ Do what you need to do 'til they discover you ♪" "♪ And make you more than who you're seeing now ♪" "♪ So with the stars aligned ♪" "♪ I think I'll stay behind ♪" "♪ You've got to go and find ♪" "♪ That someone in the crowd ♪" "(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)" " (ALL EXCLAIM)" " TRACY:" "Hey, girl!" "♪ That someone in the crowd ♪" "(INDISTINCT CHEERING)" "(IN SLOWER TEMPO) ♪ ls someone in the crowd ♪" "♪ The only thing you really see?" "♪" "♪ Watching while the world keeps spinning 'round ♪" "♪ Somewhere there's a place ♪" "♪ Where I find who I'm gonna be ♪" "♪ A somewhere that's just waiting to be found ♪" "(SLOW TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)" "(TEMPO INCREASING)" "♪ Someone in the crowd could be the one you need to know ♪" "♪ The someone who can lift you off the ground ♪" "♪ Someone in the crowd could take you where you wanna go ♪" "♪ Someone in the crowd could make you ♪" "♪ Someone in the crowd will take you ♪" "♪ Flying off the ground if you're the someone ♪" "♪ Ready to be ♪" "♪ Found. ♪" "MIA:" "No, no." "Oh, come on!" "What?" "(PHONE BEEPS)" " Ahh!" " (GROWLS)" "(SIGHS)" "(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE)" "(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE)" "(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "(HONKING LOUDLY)" "Please stop sneaking into my home." "LAURA:" "You think Mom or Dad would call this a home?" "SEBASTIAN:" "What are you doing?" "Please don't do that." "Please don't sit on that." "Are you kidding?" "Please don't sit on that." "Don't sit on that." "Don't sit on that." "Hoagy Carmichael sat on that!" " Oh, my God!" " "The Baked Potato" just threw it away." " I can't imagine why." " And now you're just sitting on it." " I got you a throw rug." " I don't need that." "What if I said Miles Davis pissed on it?" "It's almost insulting." "Is it true?" "When are you gonna unpack these boxes?" "When I unpack them in my own club." "Oh, Sebastian!" "It's like a girl broke up with you and you're stalking her." "You're not still going by there, are you?" "(SCOFFS) That's..." "You won't believe it." "They turned it into a samba-tapas place." " Oh, my God, Sebastian!" " Samba." "Tapas." "Pick one, you know?" "Do one right." " I have someone I want you to meet." " I don't wanna meet anyone." "No, no, I don't wanna meet anyone." " Dad gave you this?" "You'll like her." " Yes." "I don't think I'm gonna like her." "Does she like jazz?" " Probably not." " Then what are we gonna talk about?" "I don't know!" "It doesn't matter, okay?" "Because you're living like a hermit." "You're driving without insurance!" " "It doesn't matter"?" " Yeah, it doesn't matter." " Okay." "Well, I know a guy..." " You need to get serious." "With a face tattoo that you should see." " Okay, low blow." " With a heart of gold." " Get serious!" " "Get serious"?" "Laura..." "I had a very serious plan for my future." " I know." " It's not my fault I got shanghaied." "You didn't get shanghaied." "You got ripped off!" " What's the difference?" " (GROANS)" "I don't know." "It's not as romantic as that." "Don't sit..." "Everybody knew that guy was shady except for you." "Why do you say "romantic" like it's a dirty word?" "Unpaid bills are not romantic." "Call her." "I'm not gonna call her." "And the thing is..." "(STAMMERS)" "You're acting like life's got me on the ropes." "I want to be on the ropes." "Okay?" "I'm letting life hit me 'til it gets tired." " Oh?" " Then I'm gonna hit back." "It's a classic rope-a-dope." "Okay, Ali." "I love you." "Unpack the boxes." " I'm gonna change the locks." " You can't afford it." "I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "(MUSIC STOPS)" "(PRACTICING SONG FROM RECORD)" " Hey." " (CLEARS THROAT)" " Bill." "Thanks for having me back." " You're welcome." "I want you to know you're lookin' at a new man," " a man that's happy to be here." " Good." "Excellent." " Very-easy-to-work-with man." " And you're going to play the set list?" "Happy to." "Even though I don't think anyone cares what I play, but, yeah." "Well, if by "anyone" you mean anyone other than me, that would be correct." "I care, and I don't wanna hear the free jazz." "Right." "Okay." "Although I thought in this town it worked on a sort of "one for you, one for me" type system." "How 'bout two for you, one for me?" "How 'bout all for you and none for me?" " That's perfect, yes." " Great." " Okay." " Mutual decision, then." "Right." "Made by me." "Right." "And I sign off on it, so..." "Whatever." "Tell yourself what you wanna know." "Well." "Welcome back." "There's a nice way to say that, Karen." "(SIGHS)" "(PLAYING CHRISTMAS CAROL)" " (DIFFERENT CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "(SONG ENDS)" "(PLAYING CHRISTMAS CAROL)" "(PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)" "BILL:" "Seb." "(STAMMERS) I hear what you're saying, but I don't think you're saying what you mean." "Yeah, I don't think you hear what I'm saying." "You're fired." "Well, that's what you're saying, but it's not what you mean." " What you mean is..." " You're fired." " "Play the set list."" " No, I'm saying it's too late." " It's a warning." " What planet are you from?" " Don't fire me, Bill." "Don't fire me." " You're done." "I'm sorry, Seb." "It's Christmas." "Yeah, I see the decorations." "Good luck in the new year." "I just heard you play, and I wanted to..." "(SCOFFS)" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "I don't like the fissure on the GT scan." "Did you test for Achromatopsia?" "DOA on 23rd." "Perp laughin' his face off at the PD." "Damn Miranda rights." "This is my classroom." "You don't like it, the door's to my left." "Lady, why you be trippin' like that?" "No, Jamal." "You be trippin'." "('80S POP MUSIC PLAYING)" "(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)" "WOMAN:" "Jump right here!" "♪ We're talking away ♪" "♪ I don't know what I'm to say, I'll say it anyway... ♪" "(LAUGHING) Oh, Mia!" " Hi." " Hi." " I want you to meet my friend, Carlo." " Hi." " Hi." "Carlo." " Carlo, this is Mia." " Mia?" "Hi." "How are you?" " Yes, Mia." "Carlo is a writer." "Yeah." "They say I have a knack for world-building." "I got a lot of heat right now." "There's been a lot of buzz, people talkin' about me, which is exciting." "I mean, you work so hard, and then all that validation." " I'm gonna grab a drink." " Okay." "Nice to meet you." "♪ I'll be gone ♪" "♪ In a day or two ♪" "♪ So needless to say ♪" "♪ I'm odds and ends ♪" "♪ But I'll be stumbling away ♪" "(LAUGHS)" "♪ Slowly learning that life is okay ♪" "Sorry." "♪ Say after me ♪" "♪ It's no better to be safe than sorry ♪" "♪ Take on me ♪" "♪ Take me on ♪" "♪ Take on me ♪" "♪ I'll be gone ♪" "♪ In a day or two ♪" "(MUSIC STOPS)" "Thank you." "Any other requests?" "Girl in the front!" ""I Ran."" "SINGER: "I Ran." A fantastic suggestion." "All right, piano man, tickle those ivories." "Let's hit it." "One!" "Two!" "Three!" "Four!" "(GRUNTS)" "That's right." "♪ I walk along the avenue ♪" "♪ I never thought I'd meet a girl like you ♪" "♪ Meet a girl like you ♪" "(MOUTHING) Me?" "Stop." "♪ With auburn hair and tawny eyes ♪" "♪ The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through ♪" "♪ You hypnotize me through ♪" "♪ And I ran, I ran so far away ♪" "♪ I couldn't get away... ♪" "(DIFFERENT POP SONG PLAYING)" "♪ Sometimes I feel I've got to ♪" "♪ Run away ♪" "♪ I've got to ♪" "♪ Get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me... ♪" "All right, I remember you." "And I'll admit I was a little curt that night." "Curt?" "Okay, I was an asshole." "I can admit that." "Okay." "But requesting "I Ran" from a serious musician, it's just..." "It's too far." "My Lord!" "Did you just say "a serious musician"?" " I don't think so." " Can I borrow what you're wearing?" " Why?" " 'Cause I have an audition next week." "I'm playing a "serious" firefighter." "So you're an actress." "I thought you looked familiar." "Have I seen you in anything?" "Uh... coffee shop on the Warner Bros. Lot." "That's a classic." " Oh, I see." "You're a barista." " Yeah." "And I can see how you could then look down on me from all the way up there." "Time to do the next set." "He doesn't..." "I don't..." "he doesn't tell me what to do." "He just told you what to do." "I know." "I let him." "What's your name?" " Mia." " Mia." "Guess I'll see you in the movies." " CARLO:" "You heard of Joseph Campbell?" " MIA:" "Uh, yeah." "I have this idea to do a re-imagining of Goldilocks and The Three Bears, but from the perspective of the bears." " The hero's journey." " It could be like a franchise." " Right." " So we don't know." "There could have been a fourth bear, we don't know." "George Michael!" "Hello." " Sorry, it's..." " Yeah, yeah." "I know that guy." "Did you get your keys?" "Mmm-hmm, yes." " Can you grab mine?" " Can I what?" "Would you be able to grab mine?" "My keys?" " I can't hear." " Sorry." " Can you grab my keys?" " Oh." " Please?" " Oh, there we go." " Thank you." " You're welcome." " What kind?" " It's a Prius." "That doesn't help me." " With a green ribbon." " All right." " Those look, uh, comfortable." " They are." "Thank you for saving the day back there." "Well, you didn't really give me much of a choice." "It's pretty strange that we keep running into each other." "It is strange." "Maybe it means something." " I doubt it." " Yeah, I don't think so." "Where's my car?" "You gotta put that thing to your chin." " This?" " Yeah." "Yeah, it makes your head into an antenna, so..." " Ooh." " I think it gives you cancer," " but you find your car faster." " What?" "You don't live as long, but you get where you're going quicker, so it all evens out." "That sounds terrible." " Just a suggestion." " You're a..." "You're a real, urn..." "what's the word I'm looking for?" ""Knight in shining armor"?" " Weirdo." "That was the word." " Okay." "Not much to look at, huh?" "I've seen better." "♪ The sun is nearly gone ♪" "♪ The lights are turning on ♪" "♪ A silver shine that stretches to the sea ♪" "♪ We've stumbled on a view ♪" "♪ That's tailor-made for two ♪" "♪ What a shame those two are you and me ♪" "♪ Some other girl and guy ♪" "♪ Would love this swirling sky ♪" "♪ But there's only you and I ♪" "♪ And we've got no shot ♪" "♪ This could never be ♪" "♪ You're not the type for me ♪" "Really?" "♪ And there's not a spark in sight ♪" "♪ What a a waste of a lovely night ♪" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "♪ You say there's nothing here?" "♪" "♪ Well, let's make something clear ♪" "♪ I think I'll be the one to make that call ♪" "But you'll call?" "♪ And though you look so cute in your polyester suit ♪" " It's wool." " ♪ You're right ♪" "♪ I'd never fall for you at all ♪" " ♪ And maybe this appeals ♪ - (WHISTLING)" "♪ To someone not in heels ♪" "♪ Or to any girl who feels ♪" "♪ There's some chance for romance ♪" "♪ But I'm frankly feeling nothing ♪" "♪ a' Is that so?" "♪" "♪ Or it could be less than nothing ♪" "♪ Good to know, so you agree?" "♪" "♪ That's right ♪" "♪ What a waste of a lovely night. ♪" "(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Ah!" "Hi, Greg." "Oh, sorry I'm late." "Yeah." "Be there soon." "Okay, bye." "(CAR LOCK BEEPS)" " It was just right there." " Just right here." "Do you want a ride to your car?" "No, I'm just right up here." "Good night." "Good night." "(CRICKETS CHIRPING)" "(SIGHS)" "(ENGINE STARTING)" "(BELL RINGING)" "Excuse me." "This is gluten-free, right?" " No." " What?" "Mmm-mmm." "Ugh!" "I'd like a refund." "Okay." "Let me check on that for you." "Mia..." " Hi." " You're closing Friday." "I can't close on Friday." "I have an audition, remember?" "Do I look like I care?" "Reschedule it." "Oh, and we need to have a little talk tomorrow, okay?" "Fix your apron, please." "Okay." "You again!" "What are you doing here?" "Oh, you know, just meetings and... studio heads and..." "How'd you get on the lot?" "(CLEARS THROAT) I basically just hauled ass past the guard gates." "I think I have 20 minutes until they find me." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "You don't have a break coming up, do you?" "I'm off in 10 minutes, so..." "Can I hide in the bathroom?" " Yes." " Okay." "Sorry." "Um..." "I actually do have to check." "I'm sorry." "That's the window that Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman looked out of in Casablanca." " SEBASTIAN:" "Wow!" " MIA:" "Yeah." "I can't believe you work right across the street from that." " Yeah." " That's amazing." "What was your Bogart's name?" "What's his name?" "Is it Greg?" "Yeah." "Greg." "Right." "How long have you been..." "We've been seeing each other for about a month." "Oh, that's great." "He's, um..." "He's sweet." "Anyway, I love being around this stuff, you know?" "I know what you mean." "I get coffee five miles out of the way just so I can be near a jazz club." " Really?" " Yeah, the Van Beek." " Do you know it'?" " Mmm-mmm." "All the big swing bands used to play there." "Count Basie, Chick Webb." "Anyway, it's a samba-tapas place now, so..." "What's a samba-tapas place?" "It's just a samba place where they serve tapas." " Oh." " Yeah, so the joke's on..." " history?" " (LAUGHS)" "I don't know." "That's L.A." "They just worship everything and they value nothing." "MAN:" "We're about to roll." "Stop, please, guys." "(WHISPERING) Okay." " You're rolling?" " Yeah." "I know." "They shoot movies on my street all the time, so I know about movies." " Come this way." " MAN:" "Great." " SEBASTIAN:" "It's a lock-down." " (MIA GASPS)" " I love her!" " MAN:" "And here we go." "(WHISPERING) Hey!" "How'd you get into all this?" "MAN:" "And roll!" " Get into what?" " MAN:" "Sound speed!" "You know, movies, acting..." " MAN:" "Action!" " Oh, um..." " My aunt was an actress." " Oh, okay." "She was in a traveling theater company." "I grew up in Boulder City, Nevada." "So across the street from my house there was this little library that had an old movie section." "So she took me and we spent an entire day watching all these old movies like Notorious and Bringing Up Baby and Casablanca." " And..." " MAN:" "Cut it there!" "Cut!" " CREW MEMBER:" "Check the gate." " So we can talk now." " She sounds incredible." " She was incredible." "And I would put on all these plays in my bedroom, and it would basically just be she and I re-enacting those scenes from the movies." "And then I would write my own plays." " Wow." " Um..." "Yeah." "(INDISTINCT CHATTER)" "I love it." "So anyway, I left college after two years to come here and my last audition was for a teen show pitched as "Dangerous Minds meets The O. C."" "So, yeah, should've been a lawyer." "SEBASTIAN: 'Cause the world needs more lawyers." "(MIA LAUGHING) It doesn't need more actresses." "You're not just an actress." " What do you mean, "just an actress"?" " You said it yourself." "(STAMMERS) You're a child prodigy playwright." "That is not what I said." "Well, you're too modest to say it, but it's true." "You could just write your own roles, you know?" "Write something that's as interesting as you are, and you don't have to audition for this..." " uh, piece of caca." " Yeah." "Look at Louis Armstrong." "He could've just played the marching band charts that he was given." "But he didn't do that." "What did he do?" " What did he do?" " He made history, didn't he?" "Well, I'm gonna stop auditioning and I'm gonna make history instead." "Well, my work is done here." "I should probably tell you something now, just to get it out of the way." " Mmm-hmm?" " I hate jazz." "Are you okay?" "What do you mean, you hate jazz?" "It just means that when I listen to it, I don't like it." "Yeah, but it's such a blanket statement you don't like jazz." "What are you doing right now?" "Nothing." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "I just think that people, when they say that they... you know, hate jazz, they just..." "They don't have context, they don't know where it comes from." "Jazz was born in a little flophouse in New Orleans, and it's just because people were crammed in there, they spoke five different languages, they couldn't talk to each other." "The only way they could communicate was with jazz." "Yeah, but what about Kenny G?" " What?" " What about Kenny G?" "I mean, what about elevator music?" "You know, jazz music that I know?" " What about it?" " From my life?" " Mmm-hmm?" " I just find it relaxing." "It's not relaxing." "It's not, it's not." "Sidney Bechet shot somebody because they told him he played a wrong note." "That's hardly relaxing." "Yeah, but where I grew up there was this station called K-jazz 103." "And people would just put on that station when they had a cocktail party..." "Right." "And everyone would kinda just talk over it." "I know." " 'Cause it was..." " That's the prob..." "Okay, okay." "So I think that's part of the problem, is that you can't hear it, you know?" "You have to see it." "You have to see what's at stake." "I mean, look at these fellas." "Look at the sax player right now." "He just hijacked the song." "He's on his own trip." "Every one of these guys is composing, they're rearranging, they're writing." "Then they're playing the melody." "They're just..." "And now look, the trumpet player." "He's got his own idea." "And so, it's conflict, and it's compromise, and it's just..." "It's new every time." "It's brand-new every night." "It's very, very exciting." "(MUSIC STOPS)" "And it's dying." "It's dying, Mia." "It's dying on the vine." "And the world says, "Let it die." "It had its time."" "Well, not on my watch." " What are you gonna do?" " I'm gonna have my own club." " Really?" " Yes." "We're gonna play whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, as long as it's pure jazz." "Hi, this is Mia Dolan." "Yeah, I just missed a call." " I got a callback!" " What?" "Come on!" " (LAUGHS)" " For what?" "For a TV show." "The one I was telling you about earlier." " The "Dangerous Minds meets The O. C. "?" " Yeah." " Congratulations!" "That's incredible!" " It's really exciting." "I feel like I said negative stuff about it before." " What?" " It's like Rebel Without a Cause." ""I got the bullets!"" "Yes." " You've never seen it!" " I've never seen it." "Oh, my!" "You know, it's playing at the Rialto." " Really?" " Yes." "You should go..." "I mean, (STAMMERING) I can take you." "Okay." " You know, for research." " For research." " Yeah." "Okay." " Yeah." "Um, Monday night, 10:00." " Yeah." "Great." " Okay." "For research." "(WHISTLING)" "♪ City of stars ♪" "♪ Are you shining just for me?" "♪" "♪ City of stars ♪" "♪ There's so much that I can't see ♪" "♪ Who knows?" "♪" "♪ Is this the start of something wonderful and new?" "♪" "♪ Or one more dream ♪" "♪ That I cannot make true. ♪" "(WHISTLING)" "(CAR LOCK BEEPS)" " Stand right there, please." " Okay." "Nice to meet you." " Hi!" " MALE DIRECTOR:" "Hi!" "(VIDEO CAMERA BEEPS)" "(KEYPAD BEEPING)" "In your own time." "Okay." "Two options." "You either follow my rules or follow my rules." " Capisce?" " Thank you." " Oh..." " Thanks." "I can do it a different way." "No, that's fine." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "That was fun." "Thanks." " Bye." " (DOOR OPENS)" "ALEXIS:" "Oh, hey, Mia?" " Hey." " Greg's here." " What do you mean..." " Hey, babe." "Got a space out front." " (CHUCKLES) Great." " We should get going." " Okay." " My brother landed really early." " Did you forget?" "You forgot." " Shit." "That's tonight." " That's okay." "You forgot." " Yeah." "Okay." "All right, so then I'll just get changed." " Okay." "Great." " Okay." "Great." " (CELL PHONE RINGING) - (GREG CHUCKLES)" " Yeah, that's him." " Um..." "Hey, Josh, yeah." "Uh..." "Just pickin' up Mia." "We'll be there in, like..." "JOSH:" "But now we've got this surround-sound set-up, so it's like..." " It's like being in a movie theater." " Wow." "But better than being in a theater, really." " GREG:" "I can't wait." " You know theaters these days." " Yeah." " They're so dirty." "Yeah, I know." "And so smelly." "JOSH:" "And they're either too hot or too cold." "GREG:" "I know." "The quality's really fallen off." "JOSH:" "The quality's terrible." "And there's always people talking." " GREG:" "Because..." " Which is just..." "Oh, it's the worst!" " (CELL PHONE BUZZES)" " Oh, I'm sorry." " Hold on one second." " GREG:" "The texting." "Hello?" " Probably work." " Mmm." "(SPEAKING MANDARIN)" " Sorry." "So, yeah, we love it." " Oh, it's so nice." " GREG:" "Well, we have to come." "Maybe." " JOSH:" "You should." "Come by." "(SIGHS)" " JOSH:" "I got one word for you, man." " GREG:" "Mmm-hmm?" " Indonesia." " Never heard anyone say that." "I don't even know." "I can't keep track of it, but honestly, it was life-changing." " Really?" " Yeah." "It affected me." " It was incredible." " Is it amazing?" " Yes." " A 5-star jungle Eco-resort" " you would not believe." " Amazing." "We were thinking about Nicaragua." "The thing about Nicaragua is it's less developed, it's a little under-developed." "Right." "I think there's a little more..." "Yeah, then, I just don't know if it's safe." " Yeah, yeah." "It's..." " You know?" "Fiancée Yeah, you don't want to explore too far." "JOSH:" "Kind of a "natives are restless" sort of thing." "(SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "JOSH:" "Actually, China's going to build a canal." "I'm sorry." "FILM NARRATOR:" "The immensity of our universe." "For many days before the end of our earth, people will look into the night sky and notice a star increasingly bright and increasingly near." "As this star approaches us..." "JIM:" "Jim Stark." "I'll go find a place." "I'm sorry." "FILM NARRATOR:" "As this star approaches us, the weather will change." "The great polar fields of the north and south will rot and divide, and the seas will turn warm." "The last of us search the heavens and stand amazed, for the stars will still be there and will be... (VOICE DISTORTS)" "(CROWD MURMURING)" " (CHUCKLES) - (BLOWS RASPBERRY)" "Mmm..." "I have an idea." "What is that?" "Is it a script?" "It's a play." "ALEXIS:" "A play?" "You better give us all roles!" "Actually, it's a one-woman show!" "So I can't." "(CAR HORN HONKS LOUDLY)" "Wow." "Is that gonna happen every time?" "I think so." " MIA:" "Ahh!" "It's one-way!" " (TIRES SCREECH)" "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "(CHEERING)" "I love you." "(LAUGHING) Oh!" "MAN:" "Sebastian?" "Keith." "Come here, man." " How are you?" " I've been good, man." "This is Mia." "Mia, Keith." "Hi, Mia." "Nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." " I used to play with this guy." "Went to school together." " So how you been, brother?" " Great." "Never been better." "How 'bout you?" "I been really good." "Been very busy." " I got a new combo." " Okay." "Cool." "We're lookin' for keys." " Are you kidding me?" " No, I'm not kidding you." " No, I'm good." " Are you sure?" "It pays." "I'm good." "Let's just grab a drink then." "It's been too long." " Okay." " Nice to meet you, Mia." "MIA:" "Nice to meet you." ""The end."" " Genius." " (CHUCKLES) Really?" " Yes." "Yes." " Really?" "It feels really nostalgic to me." " Is it too nostalgic?" " That's the point." "Are people gonna like it?" " Fuck 'em." " (LAUGHS) You always say that." " Well, I truly believe it." " I made you something." " For what?" " For your club." "Why does it say "Seb's"?" "'Cause I think you should call it "Seb's."" " What?" " 'Cause no one will come to "Chicken on a Stick."" "Is that a music note as an apostrophe?" " Yes!" "Yeah." " That's pretty cool." "It's gotta be "Chicken on a Stick,"" "because Charlie Parker got his nickname..." "I know, because he loved chicken." " (BOTH LAUGH)" " That's why they called him "Bird."" "So I'm gonna have chicken, beer, jazz." ""Chicken on a Stick."" "I know." "You should drop the chicken and just have drinks and jazz, and also..." " I'm not droppin' the chicken." " You could maybe do it somewhere else." " What are you talk..." " Find a new spot." "It's gotta be the Van Beek." "Well, it doesn't have to be the Van Beek." "I can't let them samba all over its history." " (GROANS)" " I can't do it." "You can let them, but you refuse to." "Your play's incredible." "You know, the whole world from your bedroom." "What else do they want?" "Who's doing that?" " I'm doing that." " You're doing that." "Who was that guy at The Lighthouse?" "The guy that offered you the gig?" " Keith." " Yeah." " Why was it so weird between you two?" " It's always weird with him." " Really?" " Yeah." "But he seemed kinda nice 'cause he did offer you a job." " Are you gonna call him?" " No." "No." "All right." "So..." "Here's what we know." "Yeah?" "It's definitely "Chicken on a Stick,"" "and your play is gonna be a triumph." "MIA:" "It's a one-woman show, so it's just me..." "No, I mean, I'm acting in it, too." "No, Mom, I'm not getting paid." "I'm paying to do it." "He's great." "He's gonna open his own jazz club." "Yeah, it's gonna be incredible." "No, he hasn't." "He hasn't opened it yet." "He needs some..." "He's saving up, I think." "No, he doesn't have a steady gig." "But he's figuring it out, it's just been a little tricky lately." "Morn, he's gonna find a way to open it and you're gonna love it, okay?" "How's Dad?" "(BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)" "Sebastian." "Come on in, man." " Thanks for comin'." " Thanks for having me." "Wasn't sure I'd see you today." " So..." "Here's the deal." " Okay." "We got distribution with Universal." "We've got our own imprint." "About to go on the road." "Uh, we can pay you 1,000 bucks a week, plus a cut of the ticket revenue and merchandising." "Sound good?" "(CLEARS THROAT)" " Sebastian?" "All right." " Yeah." " Let's play" " Okay." "(PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)" "(SCATTING)" "(ELECTRONIC BEAT PLAYING)" "(CONTINUES SCATTING)" "♪ Tonight. ♪" "I know." "It's different." "But you say you wanna save jazz." "How you gonna save jazz if no one's listening?" "Jazz is dying because of people like you." "You're playin' to 90-year-old at The Lighthouse." "Where are the kids?" "Where are the young people?" "You're so obsessed with Kenny Clarke and Thelonious Monk." "These guys were revolutionaries." "How are you gonna be a revolutionary if you're such a traditionalist?" "You're holdin' onto the past, but jazz is about the future." "I know." "The other guy, he wasn't as good as you." "But you're a pain in the ass, man." "(SEBASTIAN PLAYING SLOW JAZZ MUSIC)" "♪ City of stars ♪" "♪ Are you shining just for me?" "♪" "♪ City of stars ♪" "♪ There's so much that I can't see ♪" "♪ Who knows?" "♪" "♪ I felt it from the first embrace I shared with you ♪" "♪ That now our dreams ♪" "♪ May finally come true ♪" "♪ City of stars ♪" "♪ Just one thing everybody wants ♪" "♪ There in the bars ♪" "♪ Or through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants ♪" "♪ It's love ♪" "♪ Yes, all we're lookin' for is love ♪" "♪ From someone else ♪" " ♪ A rush ♪ - ♪ A glance ♪" " ♪ A touch ♪ - ♪ A dance ♪" "♪ A look in somebody's eyes ♪" "♪ To light up the skies ♪" "♪ To open the world and send it reeling ♪" "♪ A voice that says "I'll be here" ♪" "♪ And you'll be all right ♪" "♪ I don't care if I know ♪" "♪ Just where I will go ♪" "♪ 'Cause all that I need's this crazy feeling ♪" "♪ The rat-tat-tat of my heart ♪" "♪ Think I want it to stay ♪" "(INAUDIBLE)" "SEBASTIAN:" "♪ City of stars ♪" "♪ Are you shinin' just for me?" "♪" "♪ City of stars ♪" "♪ You never shined ♪" "♪ So brightly. ♪" "(MUSIC STOPS)" "(APPLAUSE AND CHEERS)" "(PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)" "KEITH: ♪ I don't know why I keep movin' my body ♪" "♪ I don't know if this is wrong or if it's right ♪" "♪ I don't know if it's the beat ♪" "♪ But somethings taken over me ♪" "♪ And I just know I feel so good tonight ♪" "♪ I don't know what your name is, but I like it ♪" "♪ I've been thinkin' 'bout some things I wanna try ♪" "♪ I don't know what you came to do ♪" "♪ But I wanna do it with you ♪" "♪ And I just know I feel so good tonight ♪" "♪ Oh, if we keep on dancin' ♪" "♪ Take our rhythm to new heights ♪" "♪ Feel the heat of passion, baby ♪" "♪ Light up the night!" "♪" "♪ We can start a fire!" "♪" "♪ Come on, let it burn, baby ♪" "♪ We can start a fire!" "♪" "♪ Let the tables turn, baby ♪" "♪ We can start a fire!" "♪" "♪ I just know I feel so good ♪" "♪ Don't you know I feel so good ♪" "♪ I just know I feel so good ♪" "♪ Tonight ♪" "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "♪ I don't care if this turns into a riot ♪" "♪ Let's get reckless, tear this place down to the floor ♪" "♪ Turn the music way up loud ♪" "♪ Can't nobody stop us now ♪" "♪ I just know I feel so good tonight ♪" "♪ I just know I feel so good tonight ♪" "♪ We can start a fire!" "♪" "♪ Come on, let it burn, baby!" "♪" "♪ We can start a fire!" "♪" "♪ Let the tables turn, baby!" "♪" "♪ We can start a fire!" "♪" "♪ Oh, I just know I feel so good ♪" "♪ Don't you know I feel so good ♪" "♪ Don't you know, don't you know ♪" "♪ Tonight!" "♪" "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "Hey, it's me." "Uh, I'm not sure where you are right now." "I think Boston?" "Maybe Dallas, I don't know." "Uh..." "I haven't heard from you in a little while and I miss you." "All right, bye." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" " (LAUGHS) - (SEBASTIAN CLEARS THROAT)" "I thought..." "Surprise." "Gotta leave first thing in the morning, but I just had to see you..." "It's so nice to be home." "I'm so glad you're home." "How's the play goin'?" "Um..." "I'm nervous." " You are'?" "Why?" " Mmm-hmm." "Because what if people show up'?" "Piece of caca." " You nervous about what they think?" " I'm nervous to do it." "I'm nervous to get up on a stage and perform for people..." "I mean, I don't need to say that to you." " It's gonna be incredible." " You don't get it, but I'm terrified." "They should be so lucky to see it." "I can't wait." "I can." "When do you leave, the morning?" "(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah. 6:45." " Ooh." " Boise." " Boy-he?" " Boyden." "To Boise!" "You should come." "To Boise?" "Yeah, you can knock that off your bucket list." "Oh, that would be... really exciting." "I wish I could." "What are you doing after the tour?" "Why Can't you?" " Come to Boise?" " Yeah." "'Cause I have to rehearse." "But can't you rehearse anywhere?" "Anywhere you are?" "I mean, I guess." "Um... all my stuff is here, and it's in two weeks, so I don't really think that would be..." " Okay." "Well." " the best idea right now, but..." " I wish I could." " (GRUNTS)" "We're just gonna have to try and see each other." "We never see each other." "I know, but when are you done?" "What do you mean?" "I mean..." "When are you finished with the whole tour?" "After we finish, we're gonna go and record, and then we go back on tour." "You know, we tour so we can make the record, so we can go back and tour the record." "So it's like the long haul?" "What do you mean, "the long haul"?" "I mean the long haul, like you're gonna stay in this band for a long time." "On tour." "What did you think I was gonna do?" "I don't..." "I hadn't really thought it through." "I didn't know that the band..." " was so important." " You didn't think it would be successful?" "Um..." "No, that's not really what I mean." "I just mean that you..." "You're gonna be on tour for, what, months now?" "Years?" "Yeah." "I don't believe..." "This is it." "I mean, it could easily be..." "I could be on tour with this for a couple of years, at least." "Just this record." "Do you like the music you're playing?" " I don't..." " (SIGHS)" "I don't know what it matters." "Well, it matters, because if you're gonna give up your dream," "I think it matters that you like what you're playing on the road for years." "Do you like the music I'm playing?" "Yeah." "I do." "I just didn't think that you did." " Yeah, well..." " You always said Keith is the worst, and now you're gonna be on tour with him for years, so I just didn't..." " What are you doing right now?" " know if you were happy." " Why are you doing this?" " I don't..." " What do you mean, why am I doing this?" " I thought you wanted me to do this." "It just sounds like now you don't want me to do it." "What do you mean, I wanted you to do this?" "This is what you wanted for me." "To be in this band?" "To be in a band." "To have a steady job, you know?" "To be..." "You know." "Of course I wanted you to have a steady job, so that you could take care of yourself and your life and you could start your club." "So I'm doing that, so I don't understand." "Why aren't we celebrating?" "Why aren't you starting your club?" "You said yourself no one wants to go to that club." "No one wants to go to a club called "Chicken on a Stick."" "So change the name!" "Well, no one likes jazz!" "Not even you!" "I do like jazz now because of you!" "And this is what I thought you wanted me to do!" "What am I supposed to do?" "Go back to playing "Jingle Bells"?" "I'm not saying that." "I'm saying why don't you take what you've made and start the club?" "Scraping pennies so I can start A club no one wants to go to?" "People will want to go to it because you're passionate about it, and people love what other people are passionate about." " You remind people of what they forgot." " Not in my experience." "Well, whatever, all right?" "It's just time to grow up, you know?" "I have a steady job, this is what I'm doing." "And now all of a sudden if you had these problems," "I wish you would have said them earlier, before I signed on the goddamn dotted line!" "I'm pointing out that you had a dream that you followed, that you were sticking to..." "This is the dream!" "This is the dream." "This is not your dream!" "Guys like me work their whole lives to be in something that's successful, that people like." "You know?" "I mean, I'm finally in something that-that-that people enjoy." "Since when do you care about being liked?" "Just 'cause I don't enjoy it, it doesn't matter." "Why do you care so much about being liked?" "You're an actress!" "What are you talking about?" " (SCOFFS) - (MUSIC STOPS)" "Maybe you just liked me when I was on my ass 'cause it made you feel better about yourself." " Are you kidding?" " No." "I don't know." "(SMOKE ALARM BEEPING)" "(SIGHS)" "(GRUNTS)" "Okay, fellas." "I'll see ya tomorrow." " Sebastian?" " Yeah?" "You're good for tonight, right?" "(SIGHS) What are you talking about?" "7:00, the photo shoot." "Mojo." "Are you good?" " I thought that was next Thursday." " No, it's tonight." "Is that okay?" "(CAMERA CLICKING)" " (MUSIC PLAYING) - (LIP-SYNCHING)" " Give me the other camera!" " What's wrong with that one?" ""What's wrong with that one?" It doesn't bloody work, that's what's wrong with it!" "All right, trumpet, that's lovely." "Lovely!" "Beautiful, beautiful!" "Okay, keyboard." "Okay, look up." "That's good." "That's good, that's lovely." "Lovely." "Okay, cut the music!" "That is lovely." "That's lovely." "Okay, now bite your lip like this, sort of like... like you're concentrating on something, I don't know, like a piece of your music." "Bite my what?" "Your lip." "You know, bite your lip..." "Yeah, that's good." "That's great." "Beautiful!" "Beautiful." "Okay, now just move your glasses down on... onto the nose..." "A little bit further, just a little bit, a touch further." "Keep your head down, but look up at me." "Look sort of moody." "Yeah!" "That's beautiful!" "That is great!" "Okay, turn the keyboard on live!" "(MUFFLED) Do you wanna hear the keyboard then?" "You don't have to bite your lip now." "Well, actually play something." "Play something." "You know?" "Anything." "You're a pianist, aren't you?" "Play something." "(PLAYING SOFT JAZZ MUSIC)" " (CAMERA CLICKING)" " That's great, that's beautiful." "That's lovely." "Oh, that's good." "No, don't stop." "Keep playing." "Go on, just keep playing." "That was great!" "(CHEERS)" "MAN 1:" "Shoot myself in the head." "(CHUCKLING)" "She's not even good." "MAN 2:" "That whole window thing..." "MAN 1:" "Yeah, what was that shit with the window?" "Oh, my God!" "Don't quit your day job." "Oh, well..." "Not good." "One-woman shows are always terrible." "(BRAKES SCREECHING)" "(KNOB RATTLES)" "Mia!" "Mia." "I'm so sorry." "Just tell me how it went." "How was it?" " Don't help me." " I'm sorry." " I'm sorry I've been such a prick." " You're sorry, you're sorry... (CRYING) You're sorry." "You're sorry..." "I'm gonna make it up to you." "Let me make it up to you, okay?" " I don't blame you for not wanting..." " It's over." " What is?" " It's over. (SIGHS)" "What?" "All of this." "I'm done embarrassing myself." "I'm done, I'm done." " Nobody showed up." " So what?" "So what?" "I can't pay back the theater." "This is so..." "I'm gonna go home for a while." " I'll come see you tomorrow." " No, I'm going "home" home." " This is home." " No, it's not anymore." "(KNOCKS ON WINDOW)" "(SEBASTIAN PLAYING SLOW JAZZ MUSIC)" "(GUESTS APPLAUDING)" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" " Yep?" "JANE:" "Hi, I'm trying to reach Mia Dolan." "Wrong number." "She's not answering her cell." "I was told I might find her here." "Not anymore." " Okay, well, if you do talk to her..." " I won't." "could you tell her Jane at Amy Brandt Casting is trying to reach her?" "Casting?" "(CAR HORN HONKING LOUDLY)" "Who the hell is that?" "MAN:" "Shut that thing off!" "(HONKING CONTINUES)" "(HONKING STOPS)" "MIA:" "Why did you come here?" " Because I have good news." " What?" "Amy Brandt, the casting director?" " Yeah." " She was at your play, and she loved it." "And she loved it so much that she wants you to come in tomorrow and audition for this huge movie that she's got." "I'm not going to that." " I'm not going to that." " What?" "That one's gonna be..." "No." "That one's gonna be..." "I'm sorry?" "That will kill me." " What?" "!" " What?" "What?" "Shh!" "Stop!" " No!" " (SHUSHING)" "You have to be quiet." "We're in a neighborhood." "If you want me to be quiet, you have to make some goddamn sense!" " Tell me why you're not going." " They'll call the police." " Because." "Because..." " Why?" "I've been to a million auditions, and the same thing happens every time where I get interrupted because someone wants to get a sandwich!" "Or I'm crying, and they start laughing!" "Or there's people sitting in the waiting room, and they're like me, but prettier and better at the..." "Because maybe I'm not good enough!" " Yes, you are." " No..." " No, maybe I'm not." " Yes, you are." " Maybe I'm not." " You are." "Maybe I'm one of those people that has always wanted to do it, but it's like a pipe dream for me, you know?" "And then, you said it, you change your dreams, and then you grow up." "Maybe I'm one of those people, and I'm not supposed to." "And I can go back to school, and I can find something else I'm supposed to do." "'Cause I left to do that, and it's been six years, and I don't want to do it anymore." "Why?" " Why what?" " Why don't you want to do it anymore?" "'Cause I think it hurts a little bit too much." "You're a baby." "(LAUGHS)" " I'm not a baby." "I'm trying to grow up." " You are." " You're crying like a baby." " (SNIFFLES) Oh, my God." "You have an audition tomorrow at 5:30." "I'll be out front at 8:00 A.M." "You'll be out front or not, I don't know." "(ENGINE STARTS)" "How'd you find me here?" "The house in front of the library." "(ENGINE STARTING)" " I got coffee." " Okay, great." "Mia?" "Hi, Mia." "I'm Amy and this is Frank." "Hi." "How are ya?" " Nice to meet you." " Glad we found you." "Me, too." "The film shoots in Paris, and we don't have a script." "FRANK:" "It's gonna be a process." "We're gonna build the character around the actress." "It's a 3-month rehearsal and a 4-month shoot." "Okay." "AMY:" "And we thought that you could just tell us a story." "About?" " You can just tell us anything." " Anything?" "Yeah, just tell us a story." "You're a storyteller." "(CHUCKLES) um..." "Whenever you're ready." "My aunt used to live in Paris." "I remember she used to come home and she would tell us these stories about being abroad, and..." "I remember..." "She told us that she jumped into the river once." "♪ Barefoot ♪" "♪ She smiled ♪" "♪ Leapt without looking ♪" "♪ And tumbled into ♪" "♪ The Seine ♪" "♪ The water was freezing ♪" "♪ She spent a month sneezing ♪" "♪ But said she would do it again ♪" "♪ Here's to the ones who dream ♪" "♪ Foolish as they may seem ♪" "♪ Here's to the hearts that ache ♪" "♪ Here's to the mess we make ♪" "♪ She captured a feeling ♪" "♪ Sky with no ceiling ♪" "♪ The sunset inside a frame ♪" "♪ She lived in her liquor ♪" "♪ And died with a flicker ♪" "♪ I'll always remember the flame ♪" "♪ Here's to the ones who dream ♪" "♪ Foolish as they may seem ♪" "♪ Here's to the hearts that ache ♪" "♪ Here's to the mess we make ♪" "♪ She told me ♪" "♪ A bit of madness is key ♪" "♪ To give us new colors to see ♪" "♪ Who knows where it will lead us?" "♪" "♪ And that's why they need us ♪" "♪ So bring on the rebels ♪" "♪ The ripples from pebbles ♪" "♪ The painters and poets and plays ♪" "♪ And here's to the fools ♪" "♪ Who dream ♪" "♪ Crazy as they may seem ♪" "♪ Here's to the hearts that break ♪" "♪ Here's to the mess ♪" "♪ We make ♪" "♪ Trace it all back to then ♪" "♪ Her and the snow and the Seine ♪" "♪ Smiling through it ♪" "♪ She said she'd do it ♪" "♪ Again. ♪" "(BIRDS CHIRPING)" "When do you find out'?" "Oh, they said the next couple days." "But I'm not expecting to find anything out." "You're gonna get it." " I really might not." " Yes, you are." " I hope you're not disappointed." " I know." "I know." "I know these things." "Where are we?" " Griffith Park." " Where... are we?" "I know." "(INHALES DEEPLY)" "I don't know." "What do we do?" "I don't think we can do anything," " 'cause when you get this..." " If I get this." "When you get this, you gotta give it everything you got." "Everything" "It's your dream." "What are you gonna do?" "I gotta follow my own plan, you know?" "Stay here and get my own thing goin'." "You're gonna be in Paris." "Good jazz there." "And you love jazz now." "Right?" "Yes." "(SIGHS)" "And I guess we're just gonna have to wait and see." "I'm always gonna love you." "I'm always gonna love you, too." " Look at this view!" " (CHUCKLES)" " I've seen better." "Yeah." " It's the worst." "I've never been here during the day." "(JAZZY CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)" "Hi." "Could I have two iced coffees, please?" " Right." "Of course." " On us." "Oh, no, thank you, I insist." "(PIANO PLAYING)" "MAN:" "Sounds good." "Harris did a good job." " Took him long enough." " It always does." "Signature time." "Not doin' too bad, Seb." " "Not too bad" is great." " See ya tonight." "See ya tonight." "Hi." " How was your day'?" " Good." " Hmm." "How is she?" " She's great." " Yeah?" " Yeah, come on." "(GASPS) Hi, buddy!" "I didn't think you were gonna be home yet." " Are you drawing?" " Yeah." "Can I help?" "You know I love to draw." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "MIA:" "Okay, Chelsea, we're gonna go." "Are you good?" " We're good." " You need anything?" "Bye, baby." " Say "bye, Mommy."" " Sleep well." " Bye, Mommy." " (LAUGHING) Have fun with Chelsea." "Have fun." "Bye, Mia." " Bye." "Thank you so much." " Good night, guys." " Night, sweetie." "Bye." " Good night." " Oh, boy." " (YAWNS)" "What if we miss this?" "What do you wanna tell Natalie?" "Oh... (SIGHS) We'll just see it back in New York." "Okay." " MIA:" "I do not miss this." " DAVID:" "This is bad." "Do you want to just pull off here and get dinner?" " Sure, yeah." "Yeah." " Yeah?" "Okay." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "Do you want to check it out?" "This place is pretty cool." "WOMAN:" "I love them." "(CROWD CHEERING)" "Cal Bennett on sax!" "Javier Gonzalez on trumpet." "The lovely Nedra Wheeler on bass." "The one and only Clifton "Fou-fou" Eddie on drums!" "And a little too good on piano, so good he's gonna own this place if I'm not careful," "Khirye Tyler, everybody." "(CHEERING CONTINUES)" "(CLICKS TONGUE) Uh..." "Welcome to Seb's." "(PLAYING SLOW JAZZ MUSIC)" "I just heard you play and I want to..." "(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)" "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "(SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "Do you want to stay for another?" " No, we should go." " All right." "One, two." "One, two, three, four."

"Hey, Chloe." "Hey." "That is mom's watch." "What?" "Oh, yeah." "I found it in dad's desk drawer." "I've always loved this watch." "So, we're just wearing our dead parents' things now?" "How about I go put on mom's wedding dress?" "I would pay money to see that." "And you do have a wedding coming up." "It could be your something old." "Enjoy the watch." "Jimmy:" "Shower's free." "You just got out?" "You were..." "He was in there for over an hour." "Yeah." "To get water pressure like that in prison, there would have to be a riot on the yard." "They turned the hoses on us." "Guys, can we please go shopping?" "I've been in this whole vietnamese food kick, and I want to run by the Granby food barn and pick up some Pho." "Pho?" "Pho what?" "Pho putting in my mouth and eating." "(Chuckles) I'm confused." "Pho is a vietnamese noodle soup that I guarantee they do not have at the Granby food barn." "Pho is pretty huge these days." "I'm pretty sure they have it." "They don't have it!" "Sorry, Chloe." "You are back in Granby." "No way!" "I worked too hard to get out of this town." "I am not getting sucked back in." "But the only way we get our inheritance is if we all move back to Granby." "Yeah, but it's not forever." "Pretty soon, we're gonna get that money, and when we do, I am on the first plane back to L.A." "Believe it or not, I have people who miss me." "There's my roommate, my agent's... assistant." "My hair stylist's... assistant." "In prison, my hair stylist was my cell mate, Little Ed." "Not bad, huh?" "And he did that all without scissors." "Henry, he could bite you a pretty sweet do." "(Car engine revving) Oh." "Elijah." "Oh." "Hi, Henry." "Like my new car?" "This is my favorite car." "543 horsepower, V-10 engine, zero to 60 in 3.2 seconds." "I wouldn't know." "Not much of a car guy." "Jimmy:" "Hold on." "You took the million dollars that our dad gave you in his will, and you bought a fancy sports car?" "No!" "I got two of 'em." "The other one's yellow." "(Engine revving)" "Henry:" "Who are you?" "!" "I'm not fond of that young man." "You know what?" "I, for one, am excited that we're all gonna be under the same roof for the next couple months." "Until Henry has to run to work, like some guy with a job." "Hey, our dad just died." "The hospital understands that I need some time off." "Plus, Kate's been working around the clock on her congressional campaign, so I might as well spend it with you two bozos." "If your fiancée wins the election, does that make you the first lady of Providence?" "(Laughing) See, I know you're mocking me, but it actually has a nice ring to it." "I got to say." "(Engine revving)" "Hi, Henry!" "(Engine revving, tires squealing) Uh..." "Elijah!" "Good-bye, Henry. 1.03" " Small Town" "(Whispering):" "Hey, Henry." "I know it's early, but I think we should go fishing today." "Now, I don't have any fishing equipment, but I do have some M-80s that I found downstairs." "I think they still work." "They do." "Henry, you want to go fishing?" "Henry?" "(Whimpers)" "(Explosive pop)" "Are you insane?" "Yeah." "Are you crazy?" "You're gonna wear that fishing?" "No, I'm wearing this to work." "I thought you were taking time off." "I did." "Two whole days." "What, Saturday and Sunday?" "That's a weekend." "Everyone takes that off." "Yeah, you guys know how it is." "Oh, wait." "No, you don't." "Okay." "That's it?" "You have nothing to say to your brother?" "Yeah." "Stay out of my room." "About lighting fireworks in the house?" "Oh, yeah." "That was awesome." "Bye." "Bye." "Oh." "I got to get going, too." "I'm gonna head to Yoga." "Yeah, I've got a secret project I need to work on." "Damn it." "Jimmy, why do you say that?" "See, now I'm gonna spend all day wondering about what kind of illegal nonsense you're up to this time." "Damn it, Chloe, why do you have to do that?" "It's all perfectly legal nonsense!" "I told you." "I'm out of the game for good." "I've heard that before." "I'm out of the game for good." "I even found a great place to live." "Oh." "Do you have any roommates?" "Just one." "He's been here ten years, and he said he's staying for life." "I'm out of the game for good." "You're in jail, aren't you?" "No, no." "In Mexico, they call it "cárcel."" "Hold on a second." "Chloe, I got to go." "They called my butt bluff." "I'm out at the..." "Jimmy, I recognize the number." "I know you're back in jail." "Shows what you know, Chloe." "I am actually at the barber shop." "A bit more off the top, Little Ed." "That's it." "Trust me, this time, it's for reals." "You know what?" "It's not my problem." "So you just go ahead and work on whatever secret project you're working on, and I am going to check out that new Yoga studio." "Might be nice to pretend I'm back in L.A., if only for a moment." "(Speaking Spanish)" "(Explosive pop)" "And..." "Yoga!" "And Yoga!" "And five, six, seven, eight." "Yoga, Yoga, Yoga!" "Yoga!" "Man:" "You go ahead." "I'll be right back." "(Phone ringing)" "Hello?" "Kirsten, it's Chloe." "I was feeling homesick, so I thought I'd call." "I miss you guys so much!" "Oh!" "We miss you so much!" "When are you coming back from brunch?" "Brunch?" "I'm not at brunch." "Well, wherever you are, on your way back, if you go by Wiener Burger, can you grab me a milk shake?" "What?" "Oh, you're right!" "I'm disgusting." "Chloe:" "Kirsten, we talked about this." "I'm in New Hampshire, many thousands of miles away." "Well, when are you coming back?" "I have no idea." "It could be a while." "Oh, no!" "You have to come back tonight!" "You know Warren, the guy who lives above us who has the pet pig?" "He booked a pilot." "Warren booked a pilot?" "No, the pig did." "Anyway, he's taking everybody out tonight." "It's gonna be great." "Limo, bottle service, maybe even dinner at that new Pho place." "Oh, man." "I am so jealous." "I miss L.A. so much." "The only thing Granby has going for it is that there's, like, no crime." "And I spoke too soon." "What is he doing?" "So, wait... if you're not coming back from Granby, can I rent your room out?" "'Cause Warren needs a place for his pig." "What?" "No!" "Well, what am I supposed to do?" "I'll call you back." "What the hell was that all about?" "What do you mean?" "I saw you giving money to some sketchy guy." "Were you buying drugs?" "No." "Were you selling drugs?" "No." "And I was giving him the money, so that wouldn't make any sense, unless I was giving him change." "Jimmy, what were you doing?" "I told you, it's a secret!" "You know, if we can't have the kind of relationship where we trust each other, then I'm just gonna go eat my yogurt in my room." "That is my yogurt, and you can't get out of this conversation that easily." "Chloe, I can get out of this conversation whenever I want." "In case you haven't noticed," "I'm very good at evading my pursuers." "Really?" "You've been arrested six times." "That number should be a lot higher." "It should be, like... eight." "Do you really think you can get away from me?" "I know I can." "Henry?" "Jimmy?" "Jimmy?" "Jimmy!" "Jimmy?" "Jimmy!" "Jimmy!" "Jimmy?" "Jimmy!" "Jimmy!" "Very funny." "Jimmy?" "It's not funny!" "(Whispers):" "Jimmy?" "Jimmy?" "!" "Jimmy?" "Jimmy?" "Jimmy!" "(Gasps)" "James Ulysses Goodwin, you get back." "Jimmy!" "Jimmy... wait." "Jimmy?" "Jimmy, just..." "Yes, I know I said it was a simple procedure, but I didn't want to alarm you." "The truth is..." "Your husband had a very slim chance of survival, and he's a lucky man." "Surgery's not till next week?" "Well, then, who did I...?" "Nevermind." "Anyway, don't worry." "It's a simple procedure." "Okay?" "Yes, ma'am." "Bye-bye." "Henry, we have to talk." "Hold that thought." "Ah, there's my girl." "You were saying?" "I think Jimmy is back to his old ways." "He's using your toothbrush again?" "Ew!" "He does that?" "He thinks exposing himself to more peoples' germs just makes him stronger." "I just think it makes him more likely to get Hep C." "And you now, too." "Anyway, your brother is..." "Need you to hold that thought one more time, okay?" "Henry, I just..." "I'm still pouring." "(Henry sniffles)" "(Sighs)" "Mmm." "Yeah, you're a bad girl, aren't you?" "I like that." "Can we put a bookmark in the John Cheever story you're living in and talk about the real problem here?" "Okay, look, I'm totally in control of my alcohol..." "Well, the other real problem?" "Oh, sure." "I saw Jimmy in town today, and it looked like he was buying drugs, or a... a gun, or endangered species meat or something." "I don't know." "Whatever it was, it did not look good." "And what do you want me to do about it?" "I need you to take time off work." "(Scoffs) Absolutely not." "Henry, he needs constant supervision, and I can't be with him all the time." "Chloe, I'm a doctor." "(Chloe gasps)" "Three minutes without you saying it." "I think that's a new record." "And as a doctor," "I can't just take time off whenever I like." "My boss, Dr. Richland, is a total hard-ass." "Legend has it she didn't even take maternity leave." "She delivered her own kid, and then worked a triple." "Jimmy's just gonna have to learn to take care of himself like a big boy." "He can't take care of himself." "He is a disaster." "Henry, you and I at least got a little bit of parental guidance before mom died." "He didn't get any." "Dad spent time with Jimmy." "What about their train set, huh?" "The train set that they worked on for four days before dad got called away to a conference and had to abandon it?" "I don't want him to go back to prison and get his hair bitten off by Little Ed." "He is getting a little shaggy on the sides." "Henry!" "Come on." "It's not that I don't love the kid." "It's just that we can't always be there for him." "You know, at some point, he's gonna have to figure it out on his own." "Well, if anyone's looking for me, tell them I will be in my bedroom with a full-bodied 12-year-old." "Don't tell them that." "I'll just deal with it myself." "(Snoring)" "(Gasps)" "Good morning." "Good morning." "I've decided we're going to spend the day together... the entire day." "Jimmy:" "So we'll be around each other the whole day, constantly with one another?" "How fun." "That was supposed to be sarcastic, not sincere." "Come on, it will be fun." "We'll go to lunch, we can go shopping, we could even check out a movie later at The Hobson." "Have you been to The Hobson lately?" "I haven't been there in years." "The last movie I saw there was How Stella Got Her Groove Back." "I hope you liked it." "Are you kidding me?" "Hmm." "Jimmy, it's exhausting worrying about you." "The sooner I can get out of this ridiculous town and back to L.A., the sooner I can get back to ignoring the fact that, every second of every day, you seem to be in extreme mortal peril." "Why wait?" "You could just stop worrying about me right now." "(Laughing):" "I would love to, Jimmy." "I would give just about anything for you to be normal." "Chloe, I'm not going to lie." "That super offended me." "(Sighs) Just for that, I'm gonna have to give you the slip, but this time for reals." "Oh, I'm sorry, Jimmy, I just..." "Wow, that was really good." "Jimmy Goodwin, if you can hear me..." "You know what?" "I don't care if you can hear me." "You are not my problem." "Besides, how much trouble could you possibly get into in Granby, New Hampshire on a Tuesday afternoon at...?" "Son of a bitch." "He stole mom's watch, he stole mom's watch right off my wrist." "He's probably out pawning it as we speak." "Henry, I can't take this anymore." "You have to come home." "Chloe, for the last time, Dr. Richland will not give me any time off." "You can't avoid your family." "Here's a counterargument to that theory." "Ah... mm." "(Phone beeps off)" "Son of a bitch." "Okay, no, thank you guys so much, really." "Thank you, it's really..." "You know what I call what I did in there?" "I call it Tuesday..." "I do, I call it Tuesday." "Hi, Henry." "Chloe, what are you doing here?" "This is a..." "it's a restricted area, and you're embarrassing me in front of my friends." "I came to talk to this Dr. Richland." "You can't." "She is in surgery in another building across the quad." "I'm Dr. Richland." "Damn it." "Dr. Richland, I'm Chloe Goodwin." "I'm Henry's sister." "Henry has a sister?" "You never told me you had a sister." "Do you live here in town?" "Actually, I live in Los Angeles." "Why do you say that like it's impressive?" "Oh, Hollywood." "Yep, Hollywood..." "I kind of have to live there." "I'm an actress." "Chloe, no one cares what you..." "Get out of town." "Get straight out of town." "Get on a bus, stay on that bus until you are outside the city limits." "You're an actress?" "Oh, that's so cool." "Oh, whatever, it's not a big deal." "It's not a big deal at all, very small." "Have you been in any movies?" "Only a little movie called A TV Show Called Bones where I played the substitute teacher of a potential witness who decided not to testify." "It was a very small..." "I saw that one." "That was you?" "That was you." "Henry Goodwin, how could you hide this from me?" "Your sister is famous." "Nope." "A little bit." "Not at all." "A tiny bit." "Not even a tiny bit." "Well..." "God, it must take so much courage to become an actress." "You're so brave." "I just saved a man's life." "He was declared dead ten minutes ago." "God, I don't know how you do it." "I saved his life." "Dr. Richland, you are such a sweetheart." "I just can't believe you're the same woman who wouldn't let Henry take time off when our father died." "What are you talking about?" "I offered him a month's paid vacation." "He wouldn't take it." "So, Chloe, tell us more about Hollywood." "You are so busted." "Could you get a picture of us together, please?" "(Both laugh)" "She offered you a month off with pay, and you didn't take it?" "No, I didn't." "Why?" "Chloe, what do I do if I'm not working?" "Huh?" "Go help out on Kate's campaign, where I'm just some lawn ornament sitting around, twiddling my thumbs, or... or hang out with you guys in Granby, where I can spend the entire day being reminded..." "I have to get back to work." "Wait, is that what this is about?" "You're trying to avoid the fact that dad died?" "So, what are you gonna do, work 24 hours a day for the rest of your life?" "Henry, eventually you're gonna have to stop, and when you do, the fact that dad's gone is still going to be there." "Oh, I know, and that's what scotch is for." "Scotch, work... they sort of..." "They take shifts." "And who knows?" "Maybe if I play my cards right," "I can avoid it for the rest of my life." "Henry, look, I know that this family is a bottomless pit into which you can throw all your love and worry and concern and never get anything back but disappointment, but... he's going to sell mom's watch." "And who knows what else could happen?" "So, please..." "little help?" "All right, let's go." "Really?" "Yeah, but you do realize that, for the rest of the day, if anyone in this hospital dies, it's on you." "I'm okay with that." "All right." "Chloe:" "That's my yogurt again." "And those are my boxers." "I'm sorry." "I'll give 'em back." "Both:" "No." "Jimmy, where is mom's watch?" "That was mom's watch?" "Yes." "Oh, no." "I'm sorry, I just needed it for something." "For what?" "For my secret project." "Oh, get back here." "Never!" "Jimmy." "Jimmy!" "Jimmy!" "(Both shouting)" "Not again." "Whoa." "Jimmy!" "Jimmy!" "(Grunting)" "(Glass shattering)" "Why are you chasing me?" "Why are you running?" "Hi, Henry." "Hey." "A little help, Henry." "Yeah." "Jimmy." "Jimmy!" "Jimmy." "Jimmy." "Jimmy." "Jimmy, that's my room." "Why'd you lock yourself in my room?" "It happened in the moment, and I have to commit to it." "(Phone ringing)" "Ooh, fresh boxers." "It's my roommate." "I forgot to call her back." "Hey, Kristen." "You have no idea how much I miss Los Angeles right now." "We miss you, too." "Anyway, we rented out your room." "What?" "Jimmy, come on." "Don't worry... we put all your stuff in the car, locked it and parked it on the street." "(Stammers) What?" "You got a parking ticket." "Where should I send it?" "Leave it on the windshield." "Oh, that reminds me, your windshield's gone." "So is all your stuff." "Jimmy." "I'm hanging up now." "What happened?" "I got kicked out of my apartment." "I'm sorry." "You should be." "It's your fault." "If I hadn't been so busy chasing you all over stupid Granby, this never would have happened." "Now I'm homeless." "I have nothing and nowhere to put it." "You want to see my secret project?" "Fine." "The train set." "I thought you and dad gave up on this." "He stopped, but I kept going." "Pretty cool, huh?" "It's Granby." "Yeah." "I wanted it to be a surprise." "That gentleman that I was talking to is a fellow train enthusiast, and he sold me this." "Jimmy, this is amazing." "There's my Yoga studio." "Hey, there's the movie theater." "Yeah, and here's April, right outside the law office, and then over here, next to the cop car, is Keith." "He's checking out Lucinda as she walks into the church, you know, 'cause they're dating." "Yeah, I got it." "And then over here is Elijah in his fancy sports car." "And there's dad's grave." "And here's Piper eating an ice cream sandwich that her mother wouldn't let her have." "But I did." "Yeah, I kind of did this whole thing for her, you know." "One day, I'll teach her about model trains, but I'll spend more than four days on it." "I think she'd dig it." "And then check out the clock tower." "There's mom's watch." "Yeah, I thought it'd be cool if there was a real clock in the clock tower, but I can take it down." "No, Jimmy, it's beautiful." "Henry:" "I don't know, some of this detail work looks a little slapdash." "Slapdash?" "Slapdash." "Slapdash?" "I mean, I-I just think it could look a lot better." "You need someone with skilled hands... a surgeon, for instance." "Maybe I could help you out on some weekends." "I guess that'd be okay." "And that reminds me, over here, that's us." "We're home." "(Train chugging)" "(Signal clanging, train whistle blowing)" "Jimmy:" "So, Chloe, have you seen our adorable and unconventionally handsome brother Jimmy?" "Where is that rascal?" "He's supposed to give me a ride to my job as a super busy doctor." "Did Jimmy get a new car?" "Better." "(Whooshing)" "Oh, wow." "Whoa." "Wow." "Hey, guys, like my new ride?" "(Grunting)" "Ostrich Plane, back to the Ostrich Cave." "Jimmy," "I need to talk to you." "What is it, Henry?" "I love you, Jimmy, and I feel comfortable expressing that." "I love you as much as any fellow ever could, and as soon as I deal with my drinking problem, we're going fishing with explosives." "Ouch." "Do I have to be here for this?" "Yeah." "We're playing trains, Henry." "You're wearing a bandanna." "Now, act like..." "How come Chloe doesn't have to be here?" "Because Chloe's busy." "Busy with what?" "You got it, almost there." "Now, monkeys, monkeys, Yoga monkeys," "Yoga monkeys." "(Women hooting)" "Peel the bananas." "Roll it, roll it, roll it, and roll it." "Pigeon pose, pigeon pose, and pigeon, pigeon." "(Cooing) Uh, uh." "Namaste, namaste, namaste." "Now, downward dog." "Oh, my God, this is real, this is actually Yoga." "And wag those tails, little doggies." "Arf!" "Nope, not Yoga."

"All right, everyone settle." "Notebooks out." "We're gonna start with three sentences, at least one noun and one verb in each one." "In English." "Martina, why don't you go first?" "Three things you saw on your way to class today." "I saw... a man," " pedaling his bicycle." " "Pedaling. " Good, good." "And then I saw my friend Claus kiss Katrina Wolfe." "And then I saw Katrina slap Claus's face." "It's true." "Katrina hates Claus." "Anna, please turn your phone off." "Your phone." "Turn it off." "It wasn't ringing." "Martina, take over class." "Mrs. Cahill?" "Het is Grappig." "Begrijpt u?" "Vertel hen het is Grappig." "Bobby Orr moves in for the shot." " Don't laugh at me." " I wouldn't dream of it." "Let me get your stick." "All right." "Let her rip." "Here." "Use a little more wrist." "Just put a little more snap in it." "Like this." "What position did you play?" "I was defense." "High-school coach moved me up to center." "You were a chick magnet, right?" "Actually, my first face-off I ever took as a center, I got knocked right on my ass." "The other team's center was, like, this 15-year-old, six-foot-two, bearded..." "Actually, probably on steroids, now that I think about it." "Finally, there was 12 seconds left, we were down by a goal." "I had my teeth kicked in so many times, I said, "You know what?" "Screw it. "" "I just stopped caring." "I won the draw, skated around him, moved in for the shot..." " You tied the game?" " I hit the post." "But I did learn something about how we can let fear get in the way." "Syd, I know you wanna take things slow, but what are you afraid of?" "Her name is Nancy Cahill." "An operative at Langley's Narcotics Task Force." "Specializing in the development of new synthetics." "She's been stationed in Europe for the past three years." "Her cover:" "Associate professor at Amsterdam University." "She shot herself 36 hours ago." "Eyewitness report, a student from Cahill's class." "Her last words, "Vertel hen het is Grappig. " "Tell them it's funny. "" "Cahill's most recent psych eval reported nothing of note." "Her mental status reviews have been exemplary." " What's our assignment?" " Cahill's husband, Jason, also an agent, has gone off the grid." "Hasn't been in touch with his handler in three weeks." "All attempts to contact him after his wife's death have been unsuccessful." "Our objective is quite simple:" "Locate Jason Cahill." "So, Dixon, you take Weiss." "Retrace Nancy Cahill's final days." "Vaughn, you and Nadia do the same for Jason Cahill." "Sydney, Jack, Cahill's Amsterdam apartment." "Standard protocol." "Recover all files, classified computers, any evidence of CIA affiliation." "Any questions?" "No bulbs." "Good news, Agent Bristow." "Your blood work's negative and your scans are clean." "May I?" "Looks fine." "My little brother did the same thing to me once, bit me like this." "Perhaps you can tell us now what you were looking for in the CAT scan." "The Cahills came in contact with a drug that affected the nervous system." "The pineal gland was about twice the normal size." "Nancy Cahill's autopsy revealed the same condition." " Which indicates what?" " By itself, nothing." "The pineal converts melatonin, which regulates sleep cycles and body temperature." "However, acute melatonin imbalance has been known to induce uncharacteristic behavior." " Even acts of extreme violence." " The writing in Cahill's closet, it seemed like he was suffering from severe paranoia." " Seeing demons." " I know." "I initially assumed we were dealing with a psychotropic, but hallucinogens have particular biochemical markers, none of which were present here." "No matter what drug Jason Cahill may have been exposed to, he couldn't have transmitted it to Sydney by biting her." "So why the CAT scan?" "The Cahills dealt with emerging drugs." "I wanted to take every precaution." "But all of our diagnostics indicate that you're fine." "Do you feel OK?" "Fine." "Langley wants to know what substance the Cahills came in contact with." "Who's manufacturing it." "What it's being used for." "So, what do we know?" "Neither Cahill traveled outside Amsterdam in the past month." "In her last days, Nancy placed twice her usual amount of phone calls." "They were routed through anonymous relays." "It's standard deep-cover protocol." "Well, if you give me the routing numbers, I'll see if I can hack a back trace." "Now, as far as Cahill's laptop, her hard drive was erased, but it's possible the files weren't completely rewritten." "I'll see if I can reconstruct them." "What do we know about these?" "Jason Cahill was analyzing data - names, dates, links between sources." "He was looking for something - maybe his mind." "This guy was a little crazy." "His wife actually locked him in this closet." "Sydney's fine." "Just exhausted." "She hasn't slept in 36 hours, so I'm sending her home." " Yes, of course." " Excuse me." "You think it's sexy, don't you?" "Only if I'd done it." "Need a ride home?" "No, thanks." "I was freaked out, but now I'm just tired." "Good night." "It's not that big of a deal." " He still thinks that's funny." " You're incredible." "Thanks." "I hope we didn't wake you up." " How are you doing?" " I'm fine." "I had a headache." "I couldn't sleep." "I'm fine." "Have you..." "learned anything new?" "Well, let me just say:" "Cahill's papers." "Just thinking about them makes my head hurt." "Marshall says he's making some progress with Cahill's hard disk." "He thinks he may be able to retrieve the data." "What?" " Are you..." " What?" "Staying over?" "No." " Unless I am." "Am I?" " You're not." " I'm not." " I'll walk you out." "She's gonna walk me out." "She almost said yes." "You saw that, right?" " This close." "I was..." "Good night." " Good night." "Sorry." "You're here early." "I couldn't sleep." "What do you think about this?" "Was Jason Cahill just delusional?" "We're assuming the Cahills realized they were affected by something they came in contact with." "Probably a drug from one of their sources, but which source, which drug, they didn't know." "Looks like they were retracing their steps trying to figure it out." "Maybe looking for an antidote." "I thought I was losing my mind." "The hard disk was wiped clean, remember?" "But the data recovery wasn't a problem." "The files were fragmented." "What's on the disk?" "The mother lode:" "Cahill's travel itineraries, dead drop protocols," " routing numbers for discretionary funds." " What's pressing for now, according to their records, Jason Cahill has a meeting scheduled for Bucharest." "His contact is known to him as "the Count. "" ""The Count"?" "You gotta be kidding me." "The Count is mentioned several times in Cahill's papers." "He seems to be one of their sources." "He supplies them with samples of new drugs." "Now, here is a photo." "I retrieved it from one of Cahill's disks." "Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Count." "The meeting is tomorrow night." "Obviously Cahill won't attend, but we will." "Sydney, you will identify yourself as an associate of Jason." "You will lead him into a conversation and find out what drugs he'd acquired for them." " It's a mistake." " I beg your pardon?" "Sending Sydney back into the field so quickly." "It's a tactical error." " No, it's..." " Sydney, someone else can do this." "I'm fine." "That's it." "Well, you know, based on my limited experience with mind-altering drugs, this one must have been a doozie." "Theoretically, could the drug's effects have a delayed reaction?" "Well, there is that half-hour or so for it to kick in." "That's not what I mean." "I mean, like a while." "A day or two." "I'm not sure." "Hold on a sec." "It's my wife." "Hey, honey." "I'll look into it, OK?" "Sure." "Put him on." "Daddy loves you." "Yes, he does." "Scans of Cahill's papers." "His references to the Count." "Thank you." "Another headache?" " I've got some aspirin." "You want it?" " No, thanks." "This is gonna sound crazy." "After you got home last night, I took my temperature." "It was 111." " Syd, that's not possible." " I know." "I must have been dreaming, right?" "You told Dr. Jain?" "Everything was back to normal this morning." "All my tests came back negative." "You have to let them know." "But you just said it yourself:" "It's not possible." "It's not." "But still, you have to." "If I tell them, they'll sideline me for who knows how long." " If you don't tell them, I will." " Nadia, I'm fine." "I shouldn't have said anything." "Plane's waiting." "What's going on here?" "Girl stuff?" "People stuff." "Be safe." " You wanted to see me?" " Yes." "Please..." "You know, Marcus, I appreciate your friendship with Sydney." "Having said that, whether or not an agent is fit for duty is my decision." "We both know Sydney has a history of putting her work ahead of her own well-being." " I was just suggesting that someone else..." " Dixon." "In the 11 years that you worked for me at SD-6," "I came to recognize your brilliance as a field agent." "But during those 11 years, not once did you suspect that you were working for a renegade organization." "What are you suggesting?" "That somehow my loyalty is a liability?" "I'm suggesting that you do your job and that I do mine." "11:30." "We should move." "Sydney, when we find the Count, you'll approach him and see what he knows." "If he gets suspicious, the abort code is "takedown. "" "Once we're inside the club, you'll take point, I'll cover the back." "Sydney." "The tea was hotter than I expected." "Give me a minute to change." "I want one of us to have line of sight on her at all times." " Do you see him?" " Negative." "He's at the front bar." "I'm on my way." "Jason Cahill." "Is good." "Is good you come, but... not safe to talk in the open." "At end of hall is balcony." "Count to ten, meet me there." " He could run." "I'm not gonna wait." " I agree." "Go." "Who are you?" "Why did Jason not come?" "He's sick." "He sent me to talk to you for him." " He's sick?" "He's sick how?" " Listen." "He wanted me to tell you..." " You're lying." "Who are you?" " I'm not lying." " Turn around." " Look, I just..." "I said turn around." "Turn around!" "Cahill is dead." "His wife is, too." "Who are you?" "You're police?" "I don't know what they told you, but they're dead because..." "No, you lie again." "They were affected by a drug." "I'm trying to find out what that is." "You know what that drug is." "Tell me what it is." "We're under fire." "Takedown." "Takedown." " You all right?" " Your arm." "I'm OK." "Let's get him outta here." " We know who you are." "Andre Sterescu." " Nice." "Is good pronunciation." "We know you're a Romanian national, 32 years old, charged twice with possession of black-market electronics." "We know you were convicted three years ago for fencing stolen pharmaceuticals." " Yes." "I wanted to appeal this one." " Tell us what you know about this man." "I will only say, if you choose not to cooperate with us, you'll regret that decision for the rest of your life." " Who are you guys?" " Just answer the question." "He told me he was chemist." "Worked for pharmaceutical company." "He hired me to be his "spy. " Keep eye on competition." "In a sense that's true, but in fact, you were spying on behalf of the US government." " Who called the meet?" "You or Cahill?" " He did." " Why?" " I don't know." "You performed other jobs for him." "Start with the most recent." "I need this..." "How do you say this?" "This... pen?" "Marshall." "Hey, Syd, guess what." "Your idea?" "Well, you were right." "What idea?" "The incubation period." "Turns out I did some research, and the Germans and the Czechs - well, not all the Germans, just the chemists - they've been toying around with some designer analogs that cross the blood-brain barrier via pathogens." "So, in other words, this drug works like a virus." "It gets in your blood, it incubates for a few days, it infects you, and then permanently alters your brain." "Weird." "Anyway, I called Dr. Jain, and he's gonna culture Cahill's blood and make sure that's not what we're dealing with, OK?" "Syd, this isn't about you?" "You're feeling OK, right?" " Thank you, Marshall." " No problem." "It's what I'm here for." ""Nocturne. " Two weeks ago, you delivered a sample to Cahill." "Tell me about it." "Comes in vial like this." "Cahill says is like speed, only better." "What do you mean, like speed?" "You take, you don't sleep." "Except not..." "Just energy." "But no need to rest." "You failed to include where it came from." "Yes, because I don't know." "Cahill says Nocturne developed in Eastern bloc." "But I find no evidence of this." "So I ask an associate one week later, he bring me sample of Nocturne." "He didn't say where he got the Nocturne?" "Policy." "I don't ask." "Is too bad for you." "Because you are dying too." "You all right?" "It seems that Nocturne incorporates a stimulant which overrides the pineal gland." "There was intel a few years ago that the North Koreans were working on an experimental project just like this one, trying to create 24-hour soldiers." "And there have been others, all failures, because no one fully understood the true biochemical nature of dreaming." "So the Cahills' delusions were forms of dreams?" "Nightmares, yes, in a matter of speaking." "The problem being with these dreams:" "Once triggered, there's no waking up." "Sydney, you listening?" "It's working, isn't it?" "Bit by bit, I'm wearing down your defenses." "I'm gaining your trust." "But we both know at some point I'll betray you." "And the people you care most deeply about, they'll die." "Syd." "You OK?" "You weren't surprised when I told you Cahill had died from Nocturne." "You weren't surprised." "Why weren't you surprised?" " I don't know what you mean." " What aren't you telling me?" " I'm telling you everything." " Do not lie to me." "I'm one of them." "Do you hear me, you son of a bitch?" "Cahill bit me." "I know is bad." "And this why I was to meet Cahill." "I contact him to tell him." "I don't find Nocturne." "At least, not what they make today." " So, what did you give Cahill?" " Old sample." "It was meant to be destroyed." "This drug, it go right through skin." " And he didn't know this." " I need money." "I lie to him." "I'm sorry." "From where?" "Where did it come from?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "Is somewhere in Prague." "I..." "I don't know." "I'm sorry." "I'm very sorry." "What's the last thing Nancy Cahill said to that witness? "Vertel hen het is Grappig. "" ""Tell them it's funny"?" "That's gotta mean something else." ""The Grappig Group, Prague." "Loose affiliation of biochemical engineers. "" "Milan Latuza, Grappig's senior chemist." ""Specializes in synthesis and isolation of novel therapeutics. "" "Nancy Cahill had found where Nocturne originated, only she was too far gone to do anything about it." "Jack, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but even if we could recover a sample, we don't have time to engineer an antidote." "Sydney needs medical attention." "Unless Latuza's already taken that step for us." "If they realized they made a bad batch of Nocturne, it's possible they manufactured a remedy." "Contact the jet." "We're going to Prague." "Once you've accessed Latuza's database, any files that may be even remotely related to Nocturne - research, test results, formulas..." "I'll grab what I can." "What if I don't find anything?" "Let's not discuss that here." "Sydney's about as trustworthy as her mother." "I know." " I'm gonna kill her, just like I did Irina." " Good." "Latuza's office is on the sixth floor." "You'll need to get a key." "What is it?" "Dad..." "Do we have any tranquilizers?" "No." "Then I think you'd better tie me up." "All right, I'm in." "Headed upstairs." " I'm gonna be all right, aren't I?" " Of course you are." "What if we can't make it stop?" "Don't talk." "You can't imagine how much I hate it when you talk." " What?" " The reason I killed your mother," "I had a desperate need to make her voice stop ringing in my ears." "What torments me now is that, every time I look at you," " I see your mother's face." " No." "That's..." "That's not true." "That's not..." "Sydney, listen to me." "This is all going to pass." "All right, I'm on the sixth floor." "How is she?" "We're OK." "Just get to the lab and find the damn antidote." "Sydney, look at me." "Breathe, in and out." "That's right." "That's right." "Just breathe." "Good." "Now, look in my eyes." " They're the last thing you'll ever see." " No." "Sydney, I'm here with you." "Sydney, look at me." "Breathe." "Your mother killed me." " Just like I'm gonna kill you." " I won't let you." "How are you gonna stop me?" "You're tied up." "Sydney, I'm here with you." "No one is going to harm you." "I won't let anything happen to you." " Daddy." " I'm here, Sydney." " Will you hug me?" " Of course I will." "It's OK." "Sydney, no!" "Jack, can you hear me?" "Jack, what is it?" "What's happening?" "I've got the antidote." "I'm on my way." "Help!" "Help!" "Anybody!" "Help!" "My father." "I think..." " Sydney, what did you do?" " I think I killed him." "What are you doing?" "Get..." "Get down." "On your knees." "Sydney, it's Michael." "I've got the antidote." "It's right here in this bag." "Don't lie to me." "Sydney." "Sydney, listen to me." "Put your hands up." "Now." "I know what this is." "This is a game to you." "A cruel joke at my expense." " What's a game?" " You and me." "Admit it." "No, Sydney." "Sydney, listen to me." " What are you scared of?" " I am scared." "I'm scared you're gonna betray me - again." "Like you did when you married Lauren." "Sydney, I would never, ever hurt you." "Stop." "Stop right there." " You need to give me the gun, all right?" " I said stop." "Just give me the gun." "Sydney, don't do this." "Sydney, don't do this." "Agh!" " You took the bullets out." " It seemed a reasonable precaution." "Preliminary report from Medical Services." "Sydney will be fine." "For that, I know we're all deeply grateful." "Furthermore, Interpol has raided both the office and laboratory of Dr. Milan Latuza." "The Nocturne program has been dismantled." "That threat is now over." "That's it." "Dixon." "Sending Sydney out..." "A tactical error, indeed." "I'd have said this earlier, but when I get done, it's likely you'll have me relieved of my position, and I didn't want that to happen while Sydney was in the field." "I've asked myself countless times why I never saw the true nature of SD-6." "For a while, I punished myself over it." "Finally, I realized... my only failure was that of imagination." "Despite all the evil I'd encountered," "I'd never imagined a person could exist... someone as thoroughly toxic as yourself." "I won't make that mistake again." "You want us to believe you've reformed." "That, for the love of your daughter, you've decided to listen to the better angels of your nature." "Arvin, let's be honest." "You don't have any." "And on that inevitable day, when your true motive reveals itself," "I promise you..." "I'll be there." "I'll be waiting." "Vaughn, what I said to you... what I did..." "Syd, you weren't yourself." "No." "My father liked spiders." "He said they were good luck." " I've never heard that." " No?" "Get some rest." "I'll see you tomorrow."

"NARRATOR:" "Kids, in October 2011, your Aunt Robin was in therapy." "And against all logic, it was actually going well." "But why?" "Why-why am I constantly looking for reasons not to be happy?" "Maybe because the idea of finally being happy... terrifies you." "Bro, you are killing it today." "Pshh!" "We got something good here." "We are totes gonna conquer my fear of abandonment!" "I can't see you anymore." "(laughs) Nice." ""Oh, no!" "You're abandoning me!"" "Oh, no." "You're abandoning me?" "I'm sorry." "I'm moving to Alaska." "NARRATOR:" "And that might have been the end of it." "But a week later..." "Kevin?" "!" "What are you doing here?" "Okay, look, I lied to you about moving to Alaska." "I-I had to stop seeing you." "Why?" "'Cause I think you're cute." "And ethically, I can't be your therapist if I'm attracted to you." "Oh, I get it." "You dump me as a patient just so you can ask me out?" "I'm not gonna ask you out." "You're not?" "No." "We met in therapy." "It's inappropriate for me to date a patient." "Anyway, it was nice seeing you." "Hey, wait." "How do you define "date"?" "Two people having a meal together, sitting across the table making googly eyes at each other..." "What about two people eating alone, sitting side by side, making googly eyes at the coffee maker?" "Okay, it's not a date." "Exactly." "Not a date." "NARRATOR:" "And so Robin and Kevin had breakfast alone, side by side every day that week." "Until finally..." "Oh, hey!" "Sorry." "No cabs." "Ran 40 blocks all the way here." "May have knocked an old lady into the street, don't know, I didn't look back." "Let's just go on a real date." "Yeah, that might be a good idea." "Finally!" "♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x05 ♪ Field Trip Original Air Date on October 10, 2011" "== sync, corrected by elderman ==" "♪" "Oh, I can't wait to see that movie." "Is it good?" "Awesome." "Wait, totally hypothetically, do you like movies with a shocking twist where all the main characters die at the end?" "Yes." "You will love this movie." "Hey, guys." "Hey, Marshall." "What's up?" "Well, I'll tell you what's up." "You know how my boss, Garrison Cootes, is, like, the most famous environmental lawyer in the world?" "ALL:" "Yeah..." "I mean, it's him or the other guy." "Sir Anthony Howel?" "ALL:" "Yeah..." "Anyway, he's an important guy, okay?" "And so today at work," "I was trying to show him that I'm tough." "I've been thinking about this settlement offer we're about to get from Gruber Pharmaceuticals." "If it's anything less than $20 million, then I'm gonna grab those corporate Earth rapists by their..." "Okay, I'm just gonna say something." "I'm growing a child in my belly, a child that just developed ears." "This is a very thin sweater." "So please, if you must tell your story... just make it cheerful." "Cheerful." "Okay..." "Then I'm gonna grab those corporate... employees... by their sweaty, dangling... hands... and squeeze until those greedy sons of... parents... realize that I'm the baddest mother... nature lover around." "It's like watching The Breakfast Club on TBS." "So what did he say?" "Marshall, bend down so I can put my arm around you." "That's all the way down." "That's good." "Gruber Pharmaceuticals is a company full of well-meaning people doing their jobs, just like you and me." "Guys, I'm afraid that Garrison Cootes has gone soft!" "He's like a teddy bear!" "A teddy bear or an Ewok?" "You know, cute and cuddly around the village, but once the battle starts..." "He'll smash in your metal skull with giant swinging logs." "Marshall!" "Okay, he'll hug you until you agree to peaceably shut down the Death Star." "NORA:" "Hi, sweetie." "Hey." "What are we all talking about?" "Ewoks." "Ugh, I hate the Ewoks." "The only good thing about Ewoks in that movie?" "You got to see some of them die." "Well, I fancy a pint." "Nora hates Ewoks." "Well, I have to break up with her." "Be gentle when you tell her, guys." "I'll call you from Vegas." "Tell me how it went." "Okay." "Okay, Barney!" "Sit down!" "Not liking Ewoks is no reason not to date somebody." "Yeah, I mean, who knows what the rules are, ya know?" "I mean, you're dating a girl who doesn't like Ewoks," "I'm dating my former therapist." " Oh!" " Eww!" "We are gentlemen of Harvard!" "It's not a big deal!" "Robin, if you asked a hundred people," ""Who's the worst person you could possibly date?"" "they'd all say, "Your therapist."" "Except the ones saying "Barney."" "Hey!" "Yeah, that tracks." "Well, I should get going." "I got the big field trip tomorrow." "Field trip?" "Yeah." "I'm taking my Intro to Architecture class to the GNB Tower construction site." "I'm trying to get them interested in architecture as a career." "Why?" "Are we running out of buildings?" "Are we running out of boring people?" "Guys, this is a big deal, okay?" "If I can get just one kid interested in becoming an architect..." "Okay, I'm just gonna stop you right there." "Ted, it's an Intro class." "Yeah, don't try to Stand and Deliver an Intro class." "Nobody takes an Intro class to get on any other path but the path to not being hungover anymore." "I learned that in my Intro to something-ology class." "Well that's fine for something-ology, but tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. sharp" "Intro to Architecture is going on a field trip!" "All 200 of 'em." "Well, it's 9:45." "I guess the other 170 of you got lost, so we'll just start." "Now, some might say you guys are just taking this class because it's easy or because you've confused architecture with archaeology and think we're gonna do some cool Indiana Jones stuff today." "But I think that..." "I think just maybe, we got some future architects in the house." "Show of hands: who's thinking about a career in architecture?" "Well, today, all that's gonna change." "Follow me." "Hey." "Uh, sorry, nobody gets in here without a site pass." "It's okay, I'm Ted Mosby, the architect of this building." "I don't care if you're the archaeologist of this building." "Site's closed." "Moving on!" "NARRATOR:" "That morning, Marshall's firm was getting the settlement offer from Gruber Pharmaceuticals, and Marshall couldn't wait to see the teddy bear turn into an Ewok." "Gruber Pharmaceuticals dumped toxic waste into Frog Creek, a tributary of the Trout River that feeds into Clearwater Lake." "All three of which now need new names." "So it's time to win one for Mother Earth." "Let's take out the trash, shall we?" "!" " Yes!" " All right, everyone grab a bag." "Blue is recycling, green, compost." "There we go." "Sheila... we're ready to hear your offer." "$24,000?" "Yeah , that seems reasonable." "NARRATOR:" "Kids, I was wandering the city with 25 Intro to Architecture students when your Uncle Barney came to my rescue." "Okay, guys, seeing a building get built, not that exciting." "What's really exciting is the financial side of..." "Sit down, Ted, I got this." "Hey, Weird Beard, lights!" "College..." "it's a confusing time." "Oh, no." "Studies show that 83% of all college students desperately need... sex lessons!" "Lights!" "Barney, these are 18-year-olds!" "Ted, these are 18-year-olds!" "You have a girlfriend." "But she doesn't like Ewoks!" "So what?" "So what?" "!" "Bieber, lights!" "In 1983, George Lucas introduced the world to the Ewoks, a race of creatures indigenous to the second moon of Endor." "Now, the Ewoks have a rich back-story that the movie didn't really go into." "Barney, why don't you just skip to the part about you and Nora?" "(sighs) Fine." "Ah, yes." "Ultimately, Ewoks split Star Wars fandom into two camps:" "those born before, and those born after May 25, 1973:" "the Ewok Line." "Anyone born on this side of the Ewok Line was at least ten years old when Jedi came out, and thus too old for something so cloying and cute." "Anyone born on this side loved the Ewoks because, why?" "They reminded you of..." "Our teddies?" "They reminded you of your teddies." "Thank you, Gina." "How do you know her name?" "And so... by the immutable laws of the Ewok Line, my 29-year-old girlfriend who hates Ewoks must in fact be no younger than... 37." "That's only a year younger than Will's mom." "How do you know my mom?" "Class dismissed!" "I need to be alone." "All right, we're moving on." "Ooh, can I come?" "(cell phone rings) Hey, baby." "Hey, I just want to remind you we have Dr. Sonya at 4:00." "I'll be there." "I'm sorry." "I'm just..." "I'm bummed." "We got our settlement offer today:" "$24,000 from a billion-dollar company." "Wow." "I take it people aren't happy about that." "We won!" "Champagne and cake for everybody!" "They're celebrating." "I mean, it's crazy." "We have no right to be eating cake." "There's cake?" "!" "I'm on my way!" "NARRATOR:" "Meanwhile, the worst field trip of all time was still trucking." "All right, this, this is exciting, okay?" "This is the very room where I had the idea for the GNB Tower." "Now, Webster's defines "inspiration" as..." "Hold on." "It's still loading." "Uh, hey, roomie." "Robin!" "Hey, what are you doing here?" "Well, I was about to get my swerve on." "You were?" "So you're the therapist." "You know, it's one thing to pretend to be a shrink and bang your patients." "That's normal." "But to do it for real?" "A little creepy, bro." "Okay, it's not creepy." "BOTH:" "Ehhhh... it's creepy." "Class, show of hands:" "Who thinks it's creepy to date your therapist?" " Pollstered." " Get out!" "All right." "We're moving on!" "So, class, to your left, you will see some excellent examples of what we'd call windows." "So where are we going now?" "I have no idea." "This is a disaster." "Some of them are already starting to go home." "Although we seem to have picked up a German family." "BARNEY:" "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "That thing with Robin and her creepy therapist gave me an idea." "Ted, we have here a way to solve every single debate we've ever had!" "I mean, just look at the sample:" "guys, girls, blacks, Asians, a German family." "You can't pay for that kind of focus group!" "Is macaroni salad really a salad?" "Hands up if you say "no."" "Ha!" "Jacob or Edward?" "Who says Edward?" "Ha, ha." "See?" "I told you." "It's Edward James Olmos." "Would you rather have sex with a dead human being or a live an...?" "Dude." "What?" "Find the line." "Who thinks David Hasselhoff is awesome?" "Hmm." "It's true." "Okay." "I've got one." "If you're dating a girl, and she lies about her age, who says break up with her?" "Yes, yes, but what if the person she's lying to is notoriously shallow about age?" "Okay, but what if early in our relationship, she made a really big deal about wanting to not lie to each other?" "What if she's hot?" "Who wants five bucks?" "Pollstered!" "Let's do this." "(giggling)" "(clears throat)" "(murmurs) Hmm?" "Yeah." "(giggling)" "Mm..." "Okay, this is creepy." "It's Crispin Glover creepy." "You were my patient." "You shared intimate stuff." "It would be like dating your gynecologist." "You were vulnerable." "That's not something we can move past." "(sighs) Guess not." "So, dating your gyno, that's bad, too?" "Oh, Robin." "Kidding!" "Look, we've got another one!" "(laughing)" "Come on, have a bite." "No, it's a matter of principle." "I don't care how good it is," "I'm not gonna have a third piece of cake!" "Okay, guys, you all had a lot of fun today, but now it's time..." "to have even more fun!" "Another cake!" "MARSHALL:" "Another cake?" "!" "What is the matter with you people?" "!" "That settlement today was a flaming pile of... puppies... that aren't on fire!" "Look at what's happening to the environment, and we're here doing the limbo?" "I mean, we should be ashamed of ourselves!" "Sir, all I meant was..." "Ten years from right now, everyone outside in that bullpen will be dead." "What?" "I've seen the latest research, Marsh." "You know how I'm always saying it's not too late to save the planet?" "It's too late to save the planet." "There's nothing to do but sit back and await our inevitable doom." "(noisemaker tooting)" "Oh, my goodness, a piñata!" "Just give me one minute, Larry." "Thank you." "Our grotesque, inevitable doom!" "Now, of course, you can't go around telling all the people that the good ship Environmentalism has sailed off into the sunset." "There would cause a panic." "So, instead, what we do is, we come to work, we put on a happy face, and we sue the big guys for just enough money for some cake before the unfiltered rays of the sun fry us like chalupas," "and our lungs fill up with salt water, and we all die!" "Mmm." "This cake is delicious." "Everything's fine." "Ugh, this day sucks." "Kevin and I are kaputski." "You think that's bad?" "The world is coming to an end." "You think that's bad?" "My girlfriend is 37!" "And my field trip is not going as well as I'd hoped." "Hmm." "This day sucks." "Professor Mosby, is the field trip over?" "We'd like to go home." "Yeah, it's over." "Auf wiedersehen." "I just wanted to inspire them, you know, like my professors inspired me." "But here we are, at the end of the day..." "Hey, class, quick question." "Uh, is anyone here thinking of becoming an architect?" "(clucks tongue)" "Really?" "Yeah, dude." "I mean, all jobs suck, but it's 4:00 in the afternoon, and you're out at a bar with your friends, so the hours can't be that bad." "So... yeah, I don't know, I'd think about it." "(voice cracking):" "I got through to you." "Oh!" "I mean, that is, if becoming a deejay doesn't pan out." "You are gonna be a great architect." "NARRATOR:" "He became a deejay." "Robin, what are you doing here?" "I told you I can't be your therapist." "I know." "Today, I am your therapist." "What?" "You said yourself," "I'm always looking for reasons not to be happy." "Well, I'm trying to change that." "So, if the only reason we can't be together is because I was in a vulnerable place for the first two hours we knew each other then that is two hours of vulnerability you owe me." "Sit down." "Okay." "Okay, but I must warn you, as a professional, I'm immune to..." "Tell me about your mother." "Everything she says is a manipulation!" "When I was seven years old..." "Mr. Cootes." " Hey." " Listen, I've been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday, about how we're all gonna die." "Oh, I'm not gonna die." "I bought an old mine shaft in Colorado." "I've spent the last six months filling it with canned goods, assault rifles and all five seasons of Friday Night Lights." "Okay, first of all, you can skip season two." "Second of all, after our talk..." "I came pretty close to giving up myself." "But then I went to the doctor with my wife... and... (taps key)" "I saw this." "Boy or girl?" "I don't know." "But I know I sure as hell can't give up now." "So, if you're just looking for someone to hold the other end of the limbo stick, you got the wrong guy for the job, and you know why?" "'Cause you're three feet taller than everyone in this office?" "No." "Because if I am gonna work here, then first thing tomorrow morning," "I'm walking down to Gruber Pharmaceuticals, and I'm rejecting their offer." "Even if I have to do it myself." "(door opens)" "Listen, I want you to know..." "I know." "Know what?" "Nora." "Barney." "Nora." "Just say what you're gonna say!" "I know you're old!" "And I've been struggling with it, but when I look at you..." "I don't care, because I really like you." "And because for 37, you are keeping it toit!" "You think I'm 37?" "Well, if you were really 29, then you would have been a little kid the first time you saw the Ewoks and you would have loved them." "Barney, I didn't see any of the Star Wars movies until last year." "You... you're 29!" "You still have one good year left." " What?" " Nothing." "Mm..." "But Naveen's the neurosurgeon, so of course he gets all the attention!" "Oh, Naveen is so smart, he operates on people's brains!" "Well, guess what, Mom?" "!" "I treat the human mind!" "Our time is up." "(exhales)" "I don't think this is gonna work." "I scared you off, didn't I?" "No, I mean, I don't think I can be your therapist." "You're really cute." "NARRATOR:" "The next day," "Marshall returned to Gruber Pharmaceuticals alone." "I mean, you admit that you polluted the lake." "We got the evidence." "We got the charts." "The fish..." "Fish, huh?" "Fish are weird." "You ever think about the names of fish?" "I mean, come on." "Carp." "Garrison, what a nice surprise." "Your star apprentice was just, uh..." ""Floundering."" "Little, little fish humor for you guys." "It was not going well." "I'm here to turn down the 24,000." "Well, I can maybe get you 24,500." "Not... good... enough." "Where are we going?" "To war, son." "We're going to war." "We're going to save the planet." "NARRATOR:" "And kids, as we now know, they did." "Hey, you know what was on last night?" " Stand and Deliver." " Mm." " So good." " Mm-hmm." "Whatever happened to Jacob James Olmos?" "Who?" "Jacob James Olmos." "Whatever happened to that guy?" "He never existed." "It's Edward James Olmos." "You're Olmos correct." "It's Jacob James Olmos." " It's Edward James Olmos." " Jacob James Olmos." "Edward James Olmos." " You're joking, right...?" " Are you serious...?" " Seriously." " Jacob James Olmos." "== sync, corrected by elderman =="

" This facility is a school." " Sure it is." " What the hell is that?" " A jet." " What kind of jet?" " We don't know." "But it comes up out of the basketball court." "If we'd been allowed to do our jobs before this incident..." "All right, listen." "William, you enter, you detain, you question, but the last thing we need to see is the body of a mutant kid on the six o'clock news." " Mr Stryker?" " Senator Kelly." "This is Yuriko, my personal assistant." " Quite a handshake." " What can I do for you?" "Eric Lehnsherr's prison." "I'd like to arrange a visit." "It isn't a petting zoo, Senator." "In this conflict he is the enemy, you're just a spectator, so why not sit this one out?" "Conflict?" "Mr Stryker, do you really want to turn this into some kind of war?" "I was piloting black ops missions in North Vietnam while you were sucking on your mama's tit at Woodstock." "Don't lecture me about war." "This already is a war." " You're dead." "You're so dead." " You're dead." "I don't wanna hurt you." "I'm not afraid." "Logan." "You miss me, kid?" "Not really." " How are you doing?" " I'm OK." "How are you?" " Who's this?" " This is Bobby." "He's my..." "I'm her boyfriend." "Call me Iceman." "Right." "Boyfriend?" "So how do you guys...?" "We're still working on that." "Look who's come back." "Just in time." "For what?" " We need a baby-sitter." " Baby-sitter?" "Nice to see you again, Logan." "Hi, Logan." "Hi, Jean." "I should go and get the jet ready." "Well, it was good to meet you." " Come on, let's go." " Bye, Logan." "I'll see you later."

"This is the Pacific Ocean, a few hundred miles north-east of Australia." "Members of the Bougainville Revolutionary Army (BRA) cram their boats with much needed supplies of medicine and fuel, and prepare to set off from the Solomon Islands for home." "But first of all, there is a prayer for safe passage." "Their prayers I know will be needed, because home for these BRA guerillas is the little-known island of Boungainville, with their fighting an even less well-known war of independence with Papua New Guinea." "For seven years, Papua New Guinea has blockaded the island." "Its gun-boats and helicopters patrol these waters with shoot-to-kill orders, which means we have a three-hour gauntlet to run." "I'm here because this is a war for which Britain is also responsible." "It was the huge mine that a British company dug in Bougainville which provoked the fighting and it was Britain's casual redrawing of the border a century ago that turned it into war." "Breaking down on that border, as we enter Papua New Guinea sea space, seems about the worst place to do so." "I scan the horizon for gunboats, knowing we are carrying so much fuel, that just a stray bullet will be enough to fry us." "The horizon however stay serene." "This is a route that has cost many lives." "Yet it is Bougainville's only channel to the outside world." "It is also the only way in to the longest and bloodiest conflict in the Pacific since World War Two." "Just as we near the island, the horizon loses its serenity." "We breathe with relief when it turns out to be another BRA boat." "But at least I've had a tiny taste of what the Bougainvillians go through every day." "This is the story of an unsung people who took on Papua New Guinea, Australia and the biggest mining company in the world, who started by fighting helicopter gunships with bows and arrows and have lost the tenth of their population," "and yet who manage to create what may be the world's first true eco-revolution." "The Coconut Revolution" "The next morning we find ourselves in the hands of Bougainville Revolutionary Army commander" "Ishmael Torohama." "Our main goal is to get to president Francis Ona, the elusive man who started the revolution." "But for the moment, Ishmael's capable hands will certainly do." "I'm amazed to find him driving everywhere, as the fuel the BRA get into their boats can't go far, but that's a trick I won't find out till later." "Ishmael was a mechanic before the war." "Now people call him the Bougainville ninja." "It makes my arms feel good." "So I could handle the M60." "I use two guns." "At the moment, my other arm, the injured one on the left doesn't stop me too much." "It's a year now since I got this injury." "I stood up on the beach and I was shooting at them." "But they threw two or three grenades." "They launched them." "First one missed me, second one missed me, third one missed me." "Number four came and hit my arm." "They didn't have to chop my arm off – it's not useless." "Because I go and fight for my beliefs, God helped me." "We're the first people ever to film Ishmael and his men." "Yet I don't get the feeling he really trusts us." "His way of getting closer is a kind of baptism of fire, if gentler than those he gives both Papua New Guinea soldiers and the men he's training on this patrol." "What my sound man and I think might be a smoke bomb turns out to be tear gas." "It's Ishmael's way of saying welcome, a short sharp dose of Bougainvillian reality." "After a good cough, cried and laughed together, he loosens up and radios for us to meet Francis Ona." "It's all Francis's initiative in starting the war and I just got up behind it." "Every part of the island has got minerals in it and Francis saw that these things would bring change." "Change to spoil the environment and the future generations." "But before we leave," "Ishmael gets second thoughts about us seeing Francis." "A makeshift generator has blown upon our camera batteries while it was charging." "Last night when I slept" "God told me that tomorrow there will be something happen." "And all of a sudden the battery blew up." "I made up my mind to tell you that you will not go to Francis Ona." "Otherwise you will face some problems there, because your battery blew up." "It's another glimpse at the strange grip that govern superstition hold over Bougainville." "Since the boat trip in I'm no longer inclined to laugh at superstition." "But I explain that if TV crews read all the things that go wrong as bad omens then the medium would cease to exist." "Reluctantly Ishmael concedes to our heathen ignorance." "He gives us the two days of torturous uphill clambering that will take us to Francis Ona, and the heart of the war." "When I'm not grasping for air," "I get an idea of why the Bougainvillians have such fierce reverence for the place they call" "Meekamui or "sacred island"" "and why they could no longer sit by and watch its minerals being plundered." "We have seen our valleys, we have seen our forests, we have seen our rivers, beautiful rivers, beautiful trees, beautiful forests literaly thrown into dust." "And we will not allow that to happen." "On route to Francis, we come across his vice-president, Joseph Kabui, who puts the history of the place into perspective for us." "Ever since the French explorer Louis de Bougainville put his name on the map in 1768 the island has gone through an endless game of colonial "pass the parcel"." "Geographically, ethnically and culturally, it was always part of the Solomon Islands, but a hundred years ago, the imperial powers decided to change all that." "The situation we are in is not only unique for Bougainvillians but there are many African countries that the superpowers merely just carved them out put a line right through as" ""OK, this part belongs to you, this part belong to me"." "A deal was struck between Germany and Britain." "Germany saying "OK, I'll give Western Samoa to you, Britain"" "and Britain saying "OK, I'll give Bougainville to you."" "Germany didn't keep Boungainville long, though, as Australia grabbed it during the First World War." "During the second, Japan snatched the island for a few years before Australia grabbed it back." "And in the meantime, it ended up as part of Papua New Guinea which got independence in 1975." "Bougainville declared independence two weeks earlier, not that anyone listened, and it took another thirteen years for war to break out." "At last we find the man who can really explain why things suddenly changed." "Francis Ona is portrayed by many as a humorless hardline revolutionary." "I suspect they never really met him, because it certainly isn't the impression I get." " Hey, Tokapu hasn't come yet." " Call him, then." "I've told him already, but he's taking it easy." "We're going to get more firewood – this time for the widow." "So this is Papua New Guinea's public enemy number one." "When he's not running either the war or the self-declared Republic of Bougainville," "Francis goes gardening." "My fighting on Bougainville is based on these factors." "One, we are fighting for man and his culture and two, land and environment." "And the third one is independence." "Francis used to work for a mining company called Bougainville Copper Limited." "It was a company he would later destroy." "The reason, as it's always been on Bougainville was the land and the bounty it holds." "This is the Panguna mine." "It's a development that has taken place starting back in the 1960s." "My people here were very ignorant and they didn't know that in the future there would be a very big mine here, which is very destructive." "Before reaching the final layers of overburden, they cleared 550 acres of jungle, and sliced away the unconsolidated volcanic rock and ash." "Bougainville Copper Limited, or BCL, is mainly owned by an Australian subsidiary of the world's mining giant, Britain's Rio Tinto Zinc." "In 1967, the company was given the go-ahead to excavate what was then the world's biggest open cast copper mine," "500 meters deep and covering about 7 square kilometers or the size of London's West-End where Rio Tinto's headquarters are based." "It turned out to be a disastrous mistake, especially as they dug the hole right beneath Francis's village." "In Bougainville, you don't come between the people and their land." "We Bougainvillians, we rely on our land." "Land is our lifeline, land is our mother and it's our protection." "This place was a very big jungle which is a hunting ground for the people of this area." "We had big trees." "Also there was a very big hill here." "Right in the middle here there was a very big hill much higher than the top of those mountains up there." "And now it's all disappeared." "So now this land, which belongs to my people, has become a barren land and I don't know how we're going to use this land back again." "When the locals protested about the huge hole the multinational wanted to dig at the fertile heart of their island, the land was taken by force." "Of the 3 billion US dollars the mine made in profits, only a thousandth was given back to the people who owned the land." "Rio Tinto Zinc had started to create the most expensive enemy." "In the meantime, the inhabitants were shunted off into makeshift resettlements on desolate ground." "That's the Dapera village and you can see that's the standard of building they built for people." "It's really like a shanty town." "BCL was not being too much genuine to how you can resettle the people." "This school was built by people themselves." "Even the company and the government did not give any support." "Just imagine, right in the middle of the giant copper mine multi-multi-million worth, and here we are - people building their own schools out of their own pockets." "But the thing that really stuck in the craw of the Bougainvillians was the pollution spilling over their land." "Waste from the mine to the tune of about a billion tons ended up flowing down the Jaba river, contaminating it with copper, mercury, lead and arsenic." "It killed off the wildlife and turned whole forests into moonscape." "The land still bears the garish scars." "This is where all the pollution has been drained from the Panguna mine." "You cannot drink water now down there." "There are no fish, virtually nothing." "And this will be, maybe for the next 200 years." "This whole river sytem has been destroyed." "Even you can't swim in this river." "Things hit boiling point in late 1988 when the young landowners' association led by Francis demanded both the closure of the mine and 10 billion dollars in damages." "The story goes that the BCL management laughed at them, 10 billion being far more than the mine was worth." "Francis did not like being laughed at." "He left the meeting in a hurry, broke into the local mining depot and stole 50 kilos of high explosives." "He and his friends decided to close down the mine themselves with some well targeted sabotage." "Panicked about losing what was nearly half of its export earnings," "Papua New Guinea sent in the riot police." "They burned down homes, beat people up, killed a few and generally created enough backlash to provide Francis's fledgling guerilla force with all the recruits it needed." "Rag-tag bunch though the Bougainville Revolutionary Army were, their very name showed that they were now raising the stakes." "They didn't just want the mine closed down, they wanted independence too." "It was all getting a bit much for the riot squad so in came the army, the Papua New Guinea Defense Force (PNG DF)" "Rio Tinto Zinc abandoned the mine, and a David and Goliath war was on, with BRA's stones and slings versus PNG helicopters." "It was then that Francis realized they weren't fighting just Papua New Guinea, but Australia as well." "Australia's ex-colonial interests meant it was already training and arming the PNG DF." "Now it also suspended a Foreign Crimes Act allowing its pilots to fly the helicopters it suddenly supplied." "Helicopters that were quickly turned into gunships and trained mainly on an unarmed population." "Faced with such brutal and powerful weaponry, the Bougainvillians are forced into the first of a long list of innovations." "This is the first homemade equipment that we made at the start of war." "You've got a sling here and you get this sling hooked on here." "Put the arrow in there." "That goes into that pipe." "And when you trigger this, it goes off and the arrow flies." "We make our own guns using all the material around the place, been left also in Panguna." "Pick them up and then use to build." "Cut down all the machines, cut down all the pieces, and join them together." "Like this one." "All this has been made here and we labelled them" ""Made in Meekamui"" "And it's got a serial number." "So if part of the equipment has been destroyed in the field, they can come back and then build their own guns." "And this is how we build confidence in the force." "So just imagine with one sling weapon winning a Self-Loading Rifle (SLR)." "And from that single SLR we went on to winning now virtually about 200 to 300 very powerful weapons." "This one is resting now, having a holiday or whatever." "Resting for good !" "I saw the PNG DF came just to kill the villagers and civilians." "I went out to Panguna and I saw Francis." "I asked him :" ""Where are the weapons ?"" "And he told me :" ""There is no weapon."" ""We will only start with bows and arrows and stones and sticks."" "I did the training myself." "The tactics, the tricks they're mine." "And we made them, put everything into action and we captured two high-powered rifles." "The boys saw how I fought and they thought that" "I was a good leader, so they started following me." "So that's how I ended up holding the position of the BRA." "There are no clear front lines in the jungle." "Even though they've made it their own," "Ishmael and his boys know the PNG DF may never be far away." "That's the place where I usually train my boys." "I usually use live bullets and sometimes I've wounded some of the boys, soldiers." "So that's how they got their experience." "How many have you wounded ?" "Twelve of them." "Very badly ?" "Yeah, one was very badly injured and the other eleven of them were just a scratch." "Around 15,000 Bougainvillians have been killed during the war out of a population only ten times that." "Yet most haven't been slaugthered by PNG DF's munitions, like these ones mortered during the church service." "The majority have died from the lack of essential supplies created by Papua New Guinea and Australia's most insidious weapon, the seven-year siege of the island." "By early 1990, the PNG DF was losing control of most of Bougainville." "So it decided to establish a sea blockade around the island, which it hoped would turn the population against the Bougainville Revolutionary Army." "As a quick glance at History could have predicted, quite the opposite happened." "With bodies piling up from the lack of food, shelter and medicine, the BRA and the people rose against the challenge of the blockade together." "Forced to learn the hard way that necessity is the mother of invention, their solutions came from the land." "With the blockade being imposed by Papua New Guinea government we found that every family must be self-sufficient for the foodstuff." "That's why we have to make our own gardens." "We got a shifting cultivation type of gardening here and we have integrated every food crop that we can find." "William was a businessman now a refugee from PNG held territory." "He shows us the green things he's had to develop." "This whole area is full of gardens." "How the people here survive – because the soil is so rich it doesn't matter if you're going to do the farming on one single area we're still going to get food." "Food is still going to go on." "What garden we've got – we've got sweet potato." "We've got bananas, we've got cassava." "We've got a lot of taros we've planted." "Sugar cane, and then we got pawpaws." "We've got a lot of yams round here." "We've got onions." "Corns and tomatoes." "Peanuts" "Potatoes" "People – it's very hard for them to hungry." "People in Bougainville alone they survive." "That's why we say we can't depend on other people." "We got a blessing." "Gardens from here, it's no end." "And you've got bush from the river up to another mountain." "As you see, all the whole green." "It's all over – that's Bougainville." "Yet no plant from Bougainville comes close to the importance of the coconut." "We know we've been fed and sheltered by it, but then Ishmael shows us what a perfectly packaged life-support system it is and how his people have learned to make use of every part of it." "Coconut milk has lots of iron in it, which strengthens you for walking." "You squeeze the skin and put it by the fire and when it's hot you can squeeze it and if you have a sore you can put it on the sore." "Down here is the husk." "You take it off and put it on the fire to burn." "If you have plenty of mosquitoes, as inhabited places get mosquitoes, we use this to get rid of them." "The cook's milking the flesh there." "Coconut milk's used to cook greens in." "Coconut oil for a lamp." "This is a new thing we've learned in the crisis." "And we use coconut leaves for baskets." "We've got soap made from coconut oil." "This is first grade oil." "There are three grades – A, B and C." "This is the A grade we use to clean our guns." "In a war for the environment, it helps to have the environment on your side." "It's for if you have a nose blocked." "We use it for clearing the nose so that you can smell anything on the road just like enemies coming – you can just smell them." "When we found that we didn't have very effective equipment we developed our own booby traps." "And that is made from herbs which we lay on the track where the enemy is moving." "And then when they go by it, they start to develop sickness." "In one of the booby traps your testicles just swollen up and your penis just enlarge." "But it's for healing rather than for hurting, that the Bougainvillians have developped the bush medicine of their ancestors." "With the PNG DF driving much of the population into the jungle, thousands were dying in unsanitized childbirth and from preventable diseases like malaria, pneumonia and dysentery." "Tetanus from a badly handled machete for instance could prove lethal before the island has once again made the land their ally." "That's a piece of asbestos." "Is that from the mine ?" "Yes." "From the power pylons." "We got various herbs put into the hollow pipe of the pawpaw." "And with the steam blown into that area it's going to dry up very soon." "Francis is always on call as local GP and his presidential HQ doubles as the surgery." "We got herbs here, certain medicine which locates the areas that's been damaged and blood is not flowing well." "If there is no sickness it just slides through like this." "But when it finds areas where it is not functioning well it will stick." "It sticks like glue." "The claims of Francis and his fellow healers amaze me." "Being able to cure malaria, leprosy, appendicitis and cancer without operating, developing a herbal contraceptive which doesn't harm women, having seen what else this people can do," "I can no longer just dismiss it, especially so many patients back it up." "And at least Francis isn't so sure about all the cures." "We have given treatment to some person because he had a bad AIDS disease and sent him home." "But we didn't have proof, any medical reports by doctors so that's why we THINK we have treated someone with AIDS." "So Francis invites anyone with AIDS to come to test the Bougainvillian cure." "Let's go gardening now." "Besides what they get from the land, the islanders have found uses for absolutely anything that Bougainville Copper Limited and its employees left behind." "Though in a place where the infrastructure's gone to pot things constantly require improvised repairs." "That's my car over there." "It's not actually mine but when I fought, everything just got into my hands." "The PNG DF they came, they shot at me." "And here are some of the bullet holes." "I don't know how it happened but I was in the hands of the Lord so I was safe." "Along with his truck, his generator, his exercise gyms," "Ishmael brings anything else he can carry back from successful operations." "On a blockaded island, it's the only way to go shopping." "Well, that's Asou." "He likes playing with the ball." "I took the ball from one operation in Buka." "That's part of the victory, I think." "I go and give it to my kids." "Well, that's where we play – that's the music shop, the music station." "We teach ourselves how to play." "Oh, this is the place." "It's really not good, but we like it being here, I like being here." "It just reminds me of the simple life." "My hand is not really good, but this is the rhythm." "And the lead is over there and that's the keyboards over there." "The scavengers mecca on Bougainville is the Panguna mine itself and the town built to house its workers." "After devastating it to make sure the mine is never returned," "Francis and his fellow villagers ended up having to go back to salvage anything not rooted in concrete." "Because along with getting the Bougainvillians to start from scratch with food and medicine, the PNG DF forced open many of the houses, and gave them THAT problem to solve." "We have to make our own locks so what we do is we go down to Panguna mine and get all the locks and strip them out and make our own keys." "Using all the rubbish from the Panguna mine we can build good houses." "As you can see, bits and pieces of light, lighting up our houses." "Switchboxes." "I know this people can make something out of nothing, but I still can't work out how they can light whole villages." "William laughs and takes us to his local workshop." "As you see, all the parts and all the machines, like water pump, barbed wire, we've got something to do with it." "Some people, they might throw it away." "We don't, we collect parts." "We can make things out of it." "The islanders have dragged the mine's debris, sometimes for weeks across the mountains, to create that sort of setup." "And it's in places like this that they've cobbled together their own ecological power supply :" "hydroelectricity." "These are the intake pipes for the hydro and from there it goes right down to the generator itself." "After Papua New Guinea government has blockaded us and we couldn't have any petrol or diesel we have to develop something to get a power supply." "Here we've got this mini hydro." "Using all the rubbish, all the pipes and spare parts from old cars we managed to develop our own hydro which we use for ligting up the villages." "We've got about fifty to sixty now running this type of small hydro." "Down there with the PNG DF establishment there is virtually not much lighting up, no electricity." "Maybe it's money or something to run those generators but here in the bush we can have hydro going for 24 hours a day." "I think with the blockade still on that would be very nice." "Because then we will be learning more and more and advance into near future." "So that new things will come new ideas grow." "New ideas have been growing wherever I look, but the high point of this eco revolution has to be the way they're still driving around without any proper fuel supply after seven years of blockade." "The secret, as I should have guessed, is growing all around me." "We get together." "Get the power of the BRA." "This power now runs our island." "Francis once stated that the war against Papua New Guinea could be won in a week." "The war against Australia had to take a little bit longer." "And by 1996 the Bougainvillian Revolutionary Army was winning." "PNG's last big offensive turned into its biggest row and when we get to the island, the BRA hold about eighty percent of the territory." "You can see that that's the Toya valley." "Further down where you can see the last mountain." "That's where the last PNG DF camp is." "That's Bolavi and that's where they end." "They don't come any further." "The PNG DF don't come any further, not just because they're beaten, but also because they hardly care anymore." "In the war for hearts and minds, the BRA were always winning." "And when no other country came to Bougainvillians aid, the people found support in a different realm." "Because the colonial legacy they most embraced was that of the missionnaries." "I think without Jesus, I wouldn't have come this far." "Just because without that, the superpowers, the Australian government, or whoever has been helping the Papua New Guinea government migh have beaten me a long time ago." "Why do all sorts of problems try to spoil this place ?" "Why do you get into angry fights for a bit of ground or something ?" "When you fail to commit to Jesus you will fall down with all kinds of temptation." "We will thank Father God for the operation we've just completed where not one man found an enemy, not one man lost his life." "My uncle, he sees things." "He normally comes with us and when we are in the enemy territory, he can feel, he can see." "His is vision from God that the enemies are going to attack or if they are in the ambush we can change our plans and operation the same minute when there's a vision from God." "Follow my prayer." "Father, I thank you" "For everything we've done you only get the fame that is due to you." "Thank you, Lord Father." "We have not lost the life of any of our brothers in this operation." "Therefore we thank you, Father God." "You will get praise, you will bless each of us and bless us again to go on another operation." "Amen." "Okay." "Go to your homes clean your guns for their next use." "Once we've broken enough bread and sweat together," "Ishmael trusts us enough to reveal the secret charm he uses in combat." "We use it for poisoning the gun." "And we put it on the tip of the gun so that when we shoot an enemy automatically when the bullet goes inside there are snakes small snakes that usually come out of the man's body." "So it's just like we are poisoning them." "But God's power is unlimited." "It's just like when you charge a battery when you put it into a charging device and it charges more power then" "That is what I've learned and I've given up using this." "Now that Ishmael sees our camera batteries in a more positive way, he lets us in further." "I'm not proud to be a fighter." "I'm proud because my name's written in the book of life." "And I'm saved, and that is what I'm proud of." "It's just like a miracle that God helped me while I was injured here." "When I lay down the Lord spoke to me and said :" "You are only half an inch away from death." "So I said :" "Yes, I'll choose you and I'm going to follow you." "That's why I really want to be some kind of man preaching the gospel." "It's just a miracle that God has saved Bougainville." "The islanders' devotion seemed to pay off in early 1997 when God moved in one of his most mysterious ways." "Papua New Guinea basically admitted defeat by hiring mercenaries to do what the PNG DF couldn't." "It forked out 36 million dollars to the London-based company Sandline International, and presented the BRA with the biggest armed threat that it ever faced." "And then, lo and behold, the PNG DF itself came to Bougainville's aid." "Humiliated by the very idea of needing foreign troops, and even more angry at the price, the underfunded PNG soldiers rallied huge popular support, arrested the mercenaries, and threw them out." "If they had come and used rockets everywhere, I think they would win." "However, this equipment they have – it's only men that uses it." "The God of Bougainville has spoken to me like this." "So we believe that we will get all the modern weapons of theirs." "Because every time the way is blocked as if a brick wall – then a way out appears." "Finding a way out is something the Bougainvillians tend to do with startling regularity." "And none amazes me more than the way they fuel the transport so crucial to fighting a war." "With hundreds of abandoned mine vehicles littering the island, how were the BRA going to run them without diesel?" "Finally William shows us." "This is the complete thing of scraping the coconut" " from scraping to squeeze to ferment." "And then the last thing is to cook the oil." "For one litre oil – maybe about 15 dry coconuts for a litre." "That's first grade this oil." "It's beautiful." "Not only is coconut oil far less polluting than diesel, you also get double the mileage." "Ishmael laughs that after the war, they're really going to scare Esso and Shell." "The coconut is helping to create a separate state for our island." "If the coconut wasn't part of the revolution" "I can't think how we could create this state." "And everyone here is convinced that what they've achieved despite having everything against them proves beyond doubt that they can run their own state especially with all the ecological innovations they've sworn to developing further when they become independent." "With the closure of the mine, we have been blessed, we have been blessed." "We have been blessed to see abundance of food, we've been blessed with breathing fresh air." "If we win this certainly is going to become quite an important precedent." "In fact, Bougainville has already become a precedent, inspiring many other Pacific communities having holes dug in their backyards." "Across the region, resistance to and compensation from ecological devastation has upped considerably." "And when, thanks to the mercenary debacle, the news broke of this obscure bunch of islanders beating Papua New Guinea, and Australia, and Rio Tinto Zinc, suddenly the international community got interested in beginning peace talks, in mid-1997." "Francis, who has fears of winning the war but losing the peace, stays clear if the compromise is involved in the proposed deal." "He is labelled a hardliner for this, but maybe that's because he's not the kind of leader we're used to, and knows how easily Bougainville could lose its way in the jungle of international politics." "During my high school days," "I was appointed to sweep the principal's house." "But on one occasion I found him, he was doing my job." "He was cleaning up the toilet." "And I asked him :" ""How could you, the principal, do such a thing ?"" "And what he told me was that the leader must come down and clean the dirt for his people." "And that tought me a very very big lesson which I'm looking forward to teach other leaders in all parts of the world " "the leader must clean the boots of his people." "The peace process though is creating a rift between Francis and one of the prime movers behind him, his vice-president Joseph Kabui." "This is it." "We will either make it or break it." "And because it is now, as I see it, it's now a game of survival, political survival." "And there is a clear hard political tension right now." "Change is imminent from the way things are now looking." "What do you mean by change ?" "Change of political leadership, that is." "Our president will be changed, he will be changed some time soon." "And who would be the new president ?" "Well, it's up to the people to decide and up to BRA to decide." "I will wait and see how this will go about." "But it will probably be you, will be ?" "Well, if it comes to me, I'm ready and willing." "Joseph also has Ishmael's support, but despite their different methods, they and Francis definitely have the same end in mind :" "independence with a capital "I"." "Without independence we are looking at more bloodshed." "We are looking at more destruction on Bougainville through the means of the Papua New Guinea government and Australian government, because they've got the mining interests." "They'll bring back all the multinational companies that destruct all the land." "And is that freedom ?" "Is that peace ?" "This mining won't do." "Because it gives problems to all future generations on Bougainville." "And we don't want this to happen." "We don't want our descendants to say :" "Our forefathers didn't give us a good future, they've spoilt things for us, thrown us away, and we've ended up like this." "Man on this earth, on planet earth, depend on land, depend on environment, and I wish to ask everyone, every leader of any nation, to take care of the land so that people on this planet earth can be saved." "The future, rather than tales of passed woes, is what all the Bougainvillians I've met focus upon, despite the destruction of their land, eight years of isolation, untold atrocities and up to 15,000 deaths." "The impression I take home is of a people who don't seem to know the meaning of self-pity, let alone pessimism." "Before we leave to run the blockade on our way out," "Francis sends us off with one of the song he writes for his regular communal sing-sings." "BRA is fighting for Meekamui." "The people are crying for it, and will get independence and their own government." "All of us local people think now and our mother cries for us," "BRA is fighting PNG," "So we can have true happiness all over Bougainville." "Since we left Bougainville, the peace talks have led to a permanent cease-fire," "the blockade has been lifted, and reconciliation and restoration are taking place." "Yet Papua New Guinea is still dodging the central demand of the BRA, a referendum on independence." "Things aren't over yet, but whatever happens, when it comes to self-help and ecology, the Bougainvillians have already given the world many lessons they can learn, if it ever chooses to." "I wish to thank PNG government for imposing blockade because if blockade wasn't imposed on Bougainville we wouldn't develop this far." "Nobody has been trained - it's all natural talent that we are developing." "I think with the blockade the Bougainville war is like an educational centre or furthermore I could say it's a university for all of us who are on Bougainville." "Since the completion of this film," "Joseph Kabui was elected President of the new Bougainville People's Congress." "Francis Ona decided not to stand."

"for helping translating the phrases in Sindarin, Quenya, Khuzdûl and Black Speech." "Transcript and sync:" "Mikerophone" "OLD BILBO:" "My dear Frodo:" "You asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures." "And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth I may not have told you all of it." "I am old now, Frodo." "I'm not the same Hobbit I once was." "I think it is time for you to know what really happened." "It began long ago in a land far away to the east the like of which you will not find in the world today." "There was the city of Dale." "Its markets known far and wide." "Full of the bounties of vine and vale." "Peaceful and prosperous." "For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle-earth:" "Erebor." "Stronghold of Thror King Under the Mountain." "Mightiest of the Dwarf Lords." "Thror ruled with utter surety never doubting his house would endure for his line lay secure in the lives of his son and grandson." "Ah, Frodo." "Erebor." "Built deep within the mountain itself the beauty of this fortress city was legend." "Its wealth lay in the earth in precious gems hewn from rock and in great seams of gold running like rivers through stone." "The skill of the Dwarves was unequaled, fashioning objects of great beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby and sapphire." "Ever they delved deeper down into the dark." "And that is where they found it." "The Heart of the Mountain." "The Arkenstone." "Thror named it "The King's Jewel."" "He took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine." "All would pay homage to him." "Even the great Elven King, Thranduil." "As the great wealth of the Dwarves grew their store of good will ran thin." "No one knows exactly what began the rift." "The Elves say the Dwarves stole their treasure." "The Dwarves tell another tale." "They say the Elf King refused to give them their rightful pay." "It is sad, Frodo, how old alliances can be broken." "How friendships between peoples can be lost." "And for what?" "(SCOFFS)" "Slowly the days turned sour and the watchful nights closed in." "Thror's love of gold had grown too fierce." "A sickness had begun to grow within him." "It was a sickness of the mind." "And where sickness thrives bad things will follow." "The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane coming down from the North." "The pines on the mountain creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind." "(GRUNTS)" "(WIND WHISTLING)" "Balin, sound the alarm." "(BALIN GRUNTS)" "Call out the guard." "Do it now!" "BALIN:" "What is it?" "Dragon." "Dragon!" "He was a firedrake from the North." "(BOTH GRUNT)" "Smaug had come." "(PEOPLE SCREAMING)" "(HORNS BELLOWING)" "(SMAUG ROARS)" "(PEOPLE SCREAMING)" "Such wanton death was dealt that day." "For this city of Men was nothing to Smaug." "His eye was set on another prize." "For dragons covet gold with a dark and fierce desire." "(SHOUTS IN KHUZÛL) Bekâr!" "([Ready] weapons!" ")" "Aah!" "No!" "(SMAUG ROARING)" "THORIN:" "Come on." "Erebor was lost." "For a dragon will guard his plunder as long as he lives." "THORIN:" "Run for your lives!" "Ah!" "Help us!" "Thranduil would not risk the lives of his kin against the wrath of the dragon." "No help came from the Elves that day, nor any day since." "Robbed of their homeland the Dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness a once mighty people brought low." "The young Dwarf prince took work where he could find it laboring in the villages of Men." "But always he remembered the mountain smoke beneath the moon the trees like torches blazing bright." "For he had seen dragon fire in the sky and a city turned to ash." "And he never forgave and he never forgot." "(HOBBITS CHEERING)" "Far away, in another corner of the world dragons were only make-believe." "GANDALF:" "Up they go!" "A party trick conjured by Wizards on Midsummer's Eve." "No more frightening than fairy dust." "(GANDALF YOUNG BILBO LAUGHING)" "Bilbo!" "And that, my dear Frodo is where I come in." "Bilbo!" "Bilbo." "It was the beginning of an unlikely friendship that has lasted all my life." "(BIRDS CHIRPING)" "But it is not the start of my story." "For me, it began..." "Well, it began as you might expect." "In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit." "Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole full of worms and oozy smells." "This was a Hobbit hole." "And that means good food, a warm hearth and all the comforts of home." "(CHUCKLES)" "(OLD BILBO CLEARS THROAT)" "Thank you." "What's this?" "That is private." "Keep your sticky paws off." "It's not ready yet." "Not ready for what?" "Reading." "OLD BILBO:" "What on earth are these?" "FRODO:" "Replies to the party invitations." "Ah." "Good gracious." "Is it today?" "They all say they're coming." "Except for the Sackville-Bagginses, who are demanding you ask them in person." "Are they, indeed?" "Over my..." "...dead body." " They'd probably find that quite agreeable." "They seem to think you have tunnels overflowing with gold." "It was one small chest, hardly overflowing." "And it still smells of Troll." "What on earth are you doing?" "(OLD BILBO MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)" "Taking precautions." "You know I caught her making off with the silverware once." " Who?" " Lobelia Sackville-Baggins." "She had all my spoons stuffed in her pocket." "Ha!" "Dreadful woman." "Make sure you keep an eye on her after I'm..." "When I'm..." "When I'm..." "When you're what?" "It's nothing." "Nothing." "You know, some people are beginning to wonder about you, Uncle." " Huh?" " They think you're becoming odd." "Odd?" "Oh." "Hm." "Unsociable." "Unsociable, me?" "Nonsense." "Be a good lad and put that on the gate." "Do you think he'll come?" "Who?" "Gandalf." "Oh-ho." "He wouldn't miss a chance to let off his Whizpoppers." "He'll give us quite a show, you'll see." "FRODO:" "Right, then." "I'm off." " Off to where?" "FRODO:" "East-farthing Woods." "I'm going to surprise him." "OLD BILBO:" "Well, go on, then." "You don't want to be late." "He doesn't approve of being late." "Not that I everwas." "In those days, I was always on time." "I was entirely respectable." "And nothing unexpected ever happened." "60 years earlier... (GASPS)" "60 years earlier..." " Good morning." "GANDALF:" "What do you mean?" "Do you wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not'?" "Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning?" "Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?" "Hm?" "All of them at once, I suppose." "GANDALF:" "Hmm." "Can I help you?" "That remains to be seen." "I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure." "An adventure?" "No, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures." "Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things." "Make you late for dinner." "Heh, heh." "Mm." "Huh." "Hmm." "Oh." "Ah." "Good morning." "To think that I should have lived to be "good morninged" by Belladonna Took's son as if I were selling buttons at the door." "Beg your pardon?" "You've changed, and not entirely for the better Bilbo Baggins." "I'm sorry, do I know you?" "Well, you know my name, although you don't remember I belong to it." "I'm Gandalf." "And Gandalf means me." "Gandalf?" "Not Gandalf the wandering Wizard who made such excellent fireworks?" "Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve." "Heh, heh." "Ahem." "No idea you were still in business." "And where else should I be?" "Where else--?" "Ahem." "Well, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me even if it's only my fireworks." "Yes." "Well, that's decided." "It'll be very good for you and most amusing for me." "I shall inform the others." "Inform the who?" "What?" "No." "No." "No" " Wait." "We do not want any adventures here, thank you." "Not today." "Not" "I suggest you try Over the Hill or Across the Water." "Good morning." "(GANDALF HUMMING)" "(SNIFFS)" "(MOOING)" "HOBBIT:" "Morning!" "(CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)" "Twelve." "There we go." "Have a very good day." "(GRUNTING)" "Chum." "Hello, Mr. Bilbo." "Here." "Have a feel of me tubers." "Nice and firm, they are." " Just come in from West Farthing." " Very impressive, Mr. Worrywort." "Now, I don't suppose you've seen a Wizard lurking around these parts?" "A tall fellow." "Long, gray beard." "Pointy hat." "Can't say I have." "(SIGHS)" "(HOBBITS CHATTERING IN DISTANCE)" "(SIGHS)" "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "Dwalin, at your service." "Hm." "Uh..." "Bilbo Baggins, at yours." "Do we know each other?" "No." "Which way, laddie?" "Is it down here?" "Is what down where?" "Supper." "He said there'd be food and lots of it." "He" " He said?" "Who said?" "DWALIN:" "Mmm." "Mmm." "Very good, this." "Any more?" "What?" "Oh, yes, yes." "Ah." "Help yourself." "Hmm." "It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company." "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "That'll be the door." "Balin at your service." "Good evening." "Yes." "Yes, it is." " Though I think it might rain later." " Hm?" "Am I late?" "Late for what?" "Oh!" "Ha, ha!" "Evening, brother." "(DWALIN BALIN CHUCKLE)" "By my beard you're shorter and wider than last we met." "BALIN:" "Wider, not shorter." "Sharp enough for both of us." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Uh, excuse me?" "Sorry, I hate to interrupt." "But the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house." "DWALIN:" "Have you eaten?" "BILBO:" "It's not that I don't like visitors." "I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit." "But I do like to know them before they come visiting." " What is this?" " I don't know." " I think it's cheese." "Gone blue." "DWALIN:" "It's riddled with mold." "The thing is, I don't know either of you." "Not in the slightest." "I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind." " I'm sorry." "BALIN:" "You think--?" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Apology accepted." " Ah." "BALIN:" "Now, fill it up, brother don't stint." "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "DWALIN:" "You wanna get stuck in?" " I could eat again if you insist, brother." "(WHIMPERS)" " Fili." " And Kili." "(IN UNISON) At your service." "You must be Mr. Boggins." "Nope!" "You can't come in." "You've come to the wrong house." "What?" " Has it been canceled?" " No one told us." "No, nothing's been canceled." "That's a relief." "Careful with these." "I just had them sharpened." "It's nice, this place." "FILI:" "Yeah." " Did you do it yourself?" " What?" "No, it's been in the family for years." "That's my mother's glory box." "Can you please not do that?" "Fili, Kili." "Come on, give us a hand." "Mr. Dwalin." "Ha, ha." "BALIN:" "Shove this in the hallway." "Otherwise we'll never get everyone in." "BILBO: "Everyone"?" "How many more are there?" "DWALIN:" "Where do you want this?" " Oh, no." "DWALIN:" "It's really heavy." "No." "No." "There's nobody home!" "Go away and bother somebody else." "There's far too many Dwarves in my dining room as it is." "If this is some clot-head's idea of a joke I can only say it is in very poor taste." "(GRUNTING)" "GLOIN:" "Get off you big lump!" "(DWARVES CHATTERING)" "Gandalf." "(DWARVES CHATTERING)" "Excuse me, that's my chicken." "Um-- if" " If you don't-- That's my wine." "Excuse me!" "(SPEAKS IN KHUZDÛL) Khuzd Belkul!" "(A mighty Dwarf!" ")" "He's got an injury." "You mean the ax in his head?" "Dead?" "No, only between his ears." "His legs work fine." "Put those back." "Put that back." "Put that back." "Not the jam." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "It's a tad excessive, isn't it?" "Have you got a cheese knife?" ""Cheese knife"?" "He eats it by the block." "BILBO:" "Ugh." "No, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair-- No, so is that." "Take it back, please." " I cannot hear what you're saying." "BILBO:" "It's an antique." "Not for sitting on." "That is a book, not a coaster." "And put that map down." " Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf?" " Yes?" "May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?" "Oh, no, thank you, Dori." "A little red wine for me, I think." "NORI:" "Whoop!" "Mind out." " Yes." "Ah." "Uh, Fili, Kili." "Uh..." "Oin, Gloin." "Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur..." "..." "Dori, Nori." "Ori!" " No." "Not my prizewinners, thank you." "No, thank you." "(SPEAKS IN KHUZDÛL) Lu zayara, maima mut karima. (Our great leader, he is not here.)" "GANDALF:" "Yes, you're quite right, Bifur." "We appear to be one Dwarf short." "He is late, is all." "He traveled north to a meeting of our kin." "He will come." "Mr. Gandalf?" "A little glass of red wine, as requested." "It's got a fruity bouquet." "GANDALF:" "Oh." "Cheers." "GLOIN:" "Bombur's on his second leg of lamb already." "GANDALF:" "Hmm." "(DWARVES CHATTERING)" "DWALIN:" "No chance." "Not from that distance." "BOFUR:" "Wanna bet?" "Bombur catch!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "GANDALF:" "I'll help you with that." "(DWARVES CHATTERING)" "DWALIN:" "Oh, you great galumphing git!" "Who wants an ale?" "There you go." "KILI:" "Over here, brother." "DWALIN:" "I said have another drink." "Here you go." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "BOFUR:" "Ale on the count of three!" "One..." "...two..." " Up!" "(NORI BELCHES)" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "(BELCHES)" "BOFUR:" "I knew you had it in you!" "Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth." "But it's full of holes." "It's supposed to look like that." "It's crochet." "And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it." "Bebother and confusticate these Dwarves!" "My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" "What's the matter?" "I'm surrounded by Dwarves." "What are they doing here?" "Oh, they're quite a merry gathering once you get used to them." "I don't want to get used to them." "Look at the state of my kitchen." "There's mud trod into the carpet." "They've pillaged the pantry." "I won't tell you what they've done in the bathroom." "They've destroyed the plumbing." "I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" "Excuse me." "I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" "FILI:" "Here you go, Ori." "Give it to me." "BILBO:" "Take that back." "Excuse me." "That's my mother's West Farthing pottery." "It's over 100 years old!" "And can you not do that?" "You'll blunt them." "BOFUR:" "Ooh." "Do you hear that, lads?" "He says we'll blunt the knives." "(SINGING) Blunt the knives, bend the forks" "Smash the bottles and burn the corks" "Chip the glasses and crack the plates" "That's what Bilbo Baggins" "Hates" "Cut the cloth, tread on the fat" "Leave the bones on the bedroom mat" "Pour the milk on the pantry floor" "Splash the wine" "On every door" "Dump the crooks in a boiling bowl" "Pound them up with a thumping pole" "When you're finished" "If they are whole" "Send them down the hall to roll" "That's what Bilbo Baggins hates" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "GANDALF:" "Bilbo." "(POUNDING ON DOOR)" "He is here." "Gandalf." "I thought you said this place would be easy to find." "I lost my way, twice." "I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." "Mark?" "There's no mark on that door." "It was painted a week ago." "There is a mark." "I put it there myself." "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company:" "Thorin Oakenshield." "So this is the Hobbit." "Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?" " Pardon me?" "THORIN:" "Ax or sword?" "What's your weapon of choice?" "Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know but I fail to see why that's relevant." "Thought as much." "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "BALIN:" "What news from the meeting in Ered Luin?" "Did they all come?" " Aye." "Envoys from all seven kingdoms." "BALIN:" "All of them!" "DWALIN:" "And what did the Dwarves of the Iron Hills say?" "Is Dain with us?" "They will not come." "(ALL MURMURING)" "THORIN:" "They say this quest is ours and ours alone." "BILBO:" "You're going on a quest?" "Bilbo, my clear fellow, let us have a little more light." "Far to the east over ranges and rivers beyond woodlands and wastelands lies a single, solitary peak." ""The Lonely Mountain."" "GLOIN:" "Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold." ""When the birds of yore return to Erebor the reign of the beast will end."" " Uh, what beast?" "BOFUR:" "That would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible chiefest and greatest calamity of our age." "Airborne fire-breather." "Teeth like razors claws like meat hooks." "Fond of precious metals." "I know what a dragon is." "I'm not afraid." "I'm up for it." "I'll give him a taste of Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!" "NORI:" "Good lad, Ori!" "Sit down." "BALIN:" "The task would be difficult with an army behind us but we number just 13." "And not 13 of the best nor brightest." "NORI:" "Here, who are you calling dim?" "OIN:" "Sorry, what did he say?" "FILI:" "We may be few in number but we're fighters, all of us to the last Dwarf." "And you forget, we have a Wizard in our company." "Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons." "Oh, well, no." "I wouldn't say" "DORI:" "How many, then?" " What?" "How many dragons have you killed?" "(COUGHS)" "DORI:" "Go on." "Give us a number." "(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)" "Excuse me." "Please." "(SHOUTS IN KHUZDÛL) Atkât!" "(Silence!" ")" "If we have read these signs do you not think others will have read them too?" "Rumors have begun to spread." "The dragon, Smaug, has not been seen for 60 years." "Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing wondering, weighing the risk." "Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected." "Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours?" "Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?" "(IN KHUZDÛL) Du Bekâr!" "Du Bekâr!" "(To arms!" "To arms!" ")" "BALIN:" "You forget, the Front Gate is sealed." "There is no way into the mountain." "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." "How came you by this?" "GANDALF:" "It was given to me by your father." "By Thrain." "For safekeeping." "It is yours now." "FILI:" "If there is a key there must be a door." "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the Lower Halls." "There's another way in." "Well, if we can find it, but Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." "(GANDALF SIGHS)" "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it." "But there are others in Middle-earth who can." "The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage." "But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done." "That's why we need a burglar." "Hmm." "And a good one too." "An expert, I'd imagine." "GLOIN:" "And are you?" "Am I what?" "He said he's an expert." "Hey." "Me?" "No." "No, no, no." "I'm not a burglar." "I've never stolen a thing in my life." "Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins." "He's hardly burglar material." "Nope." "Aye, the Wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." "KILI:" "He's just fine." "(CHATTERING)" "Enough!" "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is." "Hobbits are light on their feet." "In fact, they can pass unseen by most, if they choose." "And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage." "You asked me to find the 14th member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins." "There's more to him than appearances suggest." "And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know." "Including himself." "You must trust me on this." "Very well." " We will do it your way." " No, no." "THORIN:" "Give him the contract." " We're in." "We're off." "BALIN:" "It's just the usual." "Summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required remuneration funeral arrangements, so forth." "Funeral arrangements?" "(BILBO SIGHS)" "I cannot guarantee his safety." "Understood." "Nor will I be responsible for his fate." "Agreed." "BILBO:" ""Terms:" "Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any."" "Hmm." "Seems fair." ""Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to lacerations evisceration..."" "incineration?" "BOFUR:" "Aye." "He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." "(WHIMPERS)" "You all right, laddie?" "Huh?" "Yeah." "Feel a bit faint." " Think furnace with wings." "BILBO:" "Air." "I need air." "BOFUR:" "Flash of light, searing pain, then:" "Poof." "You're nothing more than a pile of ash." "BILBO:" "Hmm." "Nope." "GANDALF:" "Oh, very helpful, Bofur." "I'll be all right." "Just let me sit quietly for a moment." "You've been sitting quietly for far too long." "Tell me when did doilies and your mother's dishes become so important to you?" "I remember a young Hobbit who was always running off in search of Elves in the woods." "Who would stay out late, come home after dark trailing mud and twigs and fireflies." "A young Hobbit who would have liked nothing better than to find out what was beyond the borders of the Shire." "The world is not in your books and maps." "It's out there." "I can't just go running off into the blue." "I am a Baggins of Bag-end." "You are also a Took." "Did you know that your great-great-great-great-uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could ride a real horse?" " Yes." " Yes well, he could." "In the Battle of Green Fields, he charged the Goblin ranks." "He swung his club so hard, it knocked the Goblin king's head clean off and it sailed 100 yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole." "And thus, the battle was won." "And the game of golf invented at the same time." "I do believe you made that up." "Well, all good stories deserve embellishment." "You'll have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back." "Can you promise that I will come back?" "No." "And if you do you will not be the same." "That's what I thought." "Sorry, Gandalf, I can't sign this." "You've got the wrong Hobbit." "It appears we have lost our burglar." "Probably for the best." "The odds were always against us." "After all, what are we?" "Merchants, miners tinkers, toy-makers." "Heh, heh." "Hardly the stuff of legend." "There are a few warriors amongst us." "Old warriors." "I would take each and every one of these Dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills." "For when I called upon them, they answered." "Loyalty, honor a willing heart." "I can ask no more than that." "You don't have to do this." "You have a choice." "You've done honorably by our people." "You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains." "A life of peace and plenty." "A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor." "From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me." "They dreamt of the day when the Dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland." "There is no choice, Balin." "Not for me." "Then we are with you, laddie." "We will see it done." "(DWARVES HUMMING)" "(SINGING) Far over" "The misty mountains cold" "To dungeons deep" "And caverns old" "We must away" "'Ere break of day" "To find our" "Long-forgotten gold" "The pines were roaring" "On the height" "The winds" "Were moaning" "In the night" "The fire was red" "It flaming spread" "The trees like torches" "Blazed With light" "(MOANS)" "Hello?" "Yes." "Yes." "(CHICKENS CLUCKING)" "WORRYWORT:" "Here Mr. Bilbo, where are you off to?" " Can't stop, I'm already late!" " Late for what?" "I'm going on an adventure!" "DORI:" "I said it." "Didn't I say it?" "Corning here was a waste of time." "GLOIN:" "That's true enough." "DORI:" "Ridiculous notion." "Use a Hobbit?" "A Halfling?" "Whose idea was it anyway?" "BILBO:" "Wait!" "Wait!" "THORIN:" "Whoa, whoa." "(PONIES NEIGHING)" "Whoa, whoa." "I signed it." "Here." "(PONY SNORTS)" "BALIN:" "Everything appears to be in order." "Welcome, Master Baggins to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." "(ALL CHUCKLING AND CHATTERING)" "Give him a pony." "No, no, that won't be necessary." "Thank you." "I'm sure I can keep up on foot." "I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know?" "Even got as far as Frogmorton once." "Aah!" "(NEIGHS)" "OIN:" "Come on, Nori." "Pay up." "KILI:" "One more." "OIN:" "Thanks, lad." "What's that about?" "Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you'd turn up." "Most of them bet that you wouldn't." "And what did you think?" "Well..." "My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second." "(SNEEZES THEN SIGHS)" "It's horse hair." "Having a reaction." "(GROANS)" "No, wait, wait, stop." "Stop!" "We have to turn around." "GANDALF:" "What on earth is the matter?" " I forgot my handkerchief." "BOFUR:" "Here." "Use this." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "THORIN:" "Move on." "GANDALF:" "You'll have to manage without pocket handkerchiefs and a good many other things, Bilbo Baggins before we reach our journey's end." "You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire." "But home is now behind you." "The world is ahead." "(SNORING)" "Hello, girl." "Who's a good girl?" "It's our little secret, Myrtle." "You must tell no one." "Shh, shh." "(SCREECHING IN DISTANCE)" "What was that?" "Orcs." "Orcs?" "FILI:" "Throat-cutters." "There'll be dozens of them out there." "The lone-lands are crawling with them." "KILI:" "They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep." "Quick and quiet, no screams." "Just lots of blood." "(BOTH CHUCKLING)" "THORIN:" "You think that's funny?" "You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?" "We didn't mean anything by it." "THORIN:" "No, you didn't." "You know nothing of the world." "BALIN:" "Don't mind him, laddie." "Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs." "After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria." "But our enemy had got there first." "Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs led by the most vile of all their race:" "Azog... (IN BLACK SPEECH) Goryagug!" "(You will all die!" ")" "...the Defiler." "The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin." "He began by beheading the king." "(ROARING)" "No!" "BALIN:" "Thrain, Thorin's father was driven mad by grief." "He went missing." "Taken prisoner or killed we did not know." "We were leaderless." "Defeat and death were upon us." "That is when I saw him." "A young Dwarf prince facing down the pale Orc." "He stood alone against this terrible foe." "(AZOG ROARS)" "His armor rent wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield." "(THORIN YELLS)" "(AZOG SCREAMING)" "Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken." "(THORIN SHOUTING IN KHUZDÛL) ¿Mim nu tarâg!" "?" "Du bekâr!" "(¿No more curved on the beards!" "?" "To arms!" ")" "(ALL YELLING)" "Our forces rallied and drove the Orcs back." "And our enemy had been defeated." "But there was no feast nor song that night for our dead were beyond the count of grief." "We few had survived." "And I thought to myself then there is one who I could follow." "There is one I could call king." "And the pale Orc?" "What happened to him?" "He slunk back into the hole whence he came." "That filth died of his wounds long ago." "(GROWLING)" "(YAZNEG IN BLACK SPEECH) Zidgar durgim... (Inform our master...) ...khozd-buzbi gimanim!" "(...we've found the dwarf-maggot!" ")" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "DORI:" "Here, Mr. Gandalf can't you do something about this deluge?" "It is raining, Master Dwarf and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." "If you wish to change the weather of the world, find yourself another Wizard." " Are there any?" "GANDALF:" "What?" "BILBO:" "Other Wizards." "GANDALF:" "There are five of us." "The greatest of our order is Saruman the White." "Then there are the two Blue Wizards..." "Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names." "And who is the fifth?" "Well, that would be Radagast the Brown." "Is he a great Wizard?" "Or is he more like you?" "I think he's a very great Wizard, in his own way." "He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others." "He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east." "And a good thing too." "For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world." "Not good." "Not good at all." "(SNIFFING)" "Eww." "(WHISTLING)" "Oh, no." "Sebastian." "(SEBASTIAN WHIMPERING)" "Good gracious." "(SEBASTIAN WHIMPERS THEN RADAGAST SHUSHES)" "Come on." "Move back!" "Give him some air for goodness sake." "There." "There." "I don't understand why it's not working." "It's not as if it's witchcraft." "Witchcraft." "Oh, but it is." "A dark and powerful magic." "(CHITTERING)" "(WHIMPERS)" "(ANIMALS SQUEAKING)" "(RADAGAST CHANTING IN QUENYA) Lerya laman naiquentallo." "Celvameldë, sí a hlarë ómaquettar." "(Release [the] animal from sharp pain." "Animal-friend, now listen voice-words.)" "Na coilerya envinyanta. (Be its life renewed.)" "Sí a hlarë ómaquettar, na coilerya envinyanta." "(Now listen voice-words, be its life renewed.)" "(SEBASTIAN GRUNTING)" "Where on this good earth did those foul creatures come from?" "(BIRD CHIRPING)" "The old fortress?" "Show me." "THORIN:" "We'll camp here for the night." "Fili, Kili, look after the ponies." "Make sure you stay with them." "A farmer and his family used to live here." "THORIN:" "Oin, Gloin." "Get a fire going." "OIN:" "Aye." "Right you are." "I think it would be wiser to move on." "We could make for the Hidden Valley." "I have told you already I will not go near that place." "Why not?" "The Elves could help us." "We could get food, rest, advice." "THORIN:" "I do not need their advice." "GANDALF:" "We have a map that we cannot read." "Lord Elrond could help us." "Help?" "A dragon attacks Erebor." "What help came from the Elves?" "Orcs plunder Moria desecrate our sacred halls." "The Elves looked on and did nothing." "And you ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather." "Who betrayed my father." "You are neither of them." "I did not give you that map and key for you to hold onto the past." "I did not know that they were yours to keep." "Everything all right?" "Gandalf, where are you going?" "GANDALF:" "To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." "And who's that?" "GANDALF:" "Myself, Mr. Baggins." "I've had enough of Dwarves for one day." "Come on, Bombur, we're hungry." "Is he coming back?" "(DWARVES CHATTERING)" "He's been a long time." " Who?" " Gandalf." "He's a Wizard." "He does as he chooses." "Here, do us a favor." "Take this to the lads." "Stop it." "You've had plenty." "GLOIN:" "Aye, it's not a bad stew, Bombur." "I've had worse." "NORI:" "Dori could've cooked it." "Ha-ha-ha." "DORI:" "Hilarious." "What's the matter?" " We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." " Only we've encountered a slight problem." "KILI:" "We had 16." "FILI:" "Now there's 14." "KILI:" "Daisy and Bungo are missing." "Well, that's not good." "Ha, ha." "And that is not good at all." "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?" "Uh, no." "Let's not worry him." "As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it." "Well, uh..." " Look, something big uprooted these trees." " That was our thinking." "It's something very big and possibly quite dangerous." "Hey" "There's a light." "Over here." "Stay down." "(GRUNTING AND LAUGHTER)" "What is it?" "Trolls." "Oh." "(PONIES NEIGHING)" "He's got Myrtle and Minty." "I think they're gonna eat them." "We have to do something." "Yes, you should." "Mountain Trolls are slow and stupid, and you're small, they'll never see you." "It's perfectly safe." "We'll be behind you." "If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl." "BILBO:" "Twice like a barn owl." "No, twice like a brown" " Once like a" "Like a" " Are you sure this is a good idea?" "BERT:" "Mutton yesterday, mutton today and, blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." "WILLIAM:" "Quit your griping." "These ain't sheep." "These is fresh nags." "Oh!" "I don't like horse." "I never have." " Not enough fat on them." "BERT:" "Well, it's better than leathery old farmer." "All skin and bone, he was." "I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth." "(TOM SNEEZES)" "Well, that's lovely, that is." "A floater." "WILLIAM:" "Might improve the flavor." "Ah." "There's more where that came from." " Oh, no, you don't!" "TOM:" "Ow!" "(TOM WHIMPERING)" "Sit down!" "(SNEEZES)" "(TOM BLOWING NOSE)" "Well, I hope you're gonna gut these nags." "I don't like the stinky parts." " Ow!" " I said sit down." "I'm starving!" "Now, are we having horse tonight or what?" "BERT:" "Shut your cakehole." "You'll eat what I give you." "WILLIAM:" "How come he's the cook?" "Everything tastes the same." "Everything tastes like chicken." "TOM:" "Except the chicken." "WILLIAM:" "What tastes like fish!" "BERT:" "I'm just saying, a little appreciation would be nice." "(PONY NEIGHS)" "Oh. "Thank you very much, Bert." "Lovely stew, Bert."" " How hard is that?" " Shh." "Shh, shh." "Shh." "BERT:" "Just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung." "Here that's my grog." "(WHIMPERS)" "Sorry." "Ow!" "Ooh." "That is beautifully balanced, that is." "Wrap your laughing gear around that, eh?" "Good, isn't it?" "(BERT CHUCKLES)" "That's why I'm the cook." "(WILLIAM GRUNTS)" "WILLIAM:" "Oh, me guts are grumbling." "I got to snaffle something." " Flesh, I need flesh." "TOM:" "Ah!" "Ah!" "(TOM BLOWS NOSE)" "(SCREAMS)" "Blimey!" "Bert." "Bert!" "Look what's come out of me hooter." "It's got arms and legs and everything." "BERT:" "What is it?" " I don't know." "I don't like the way it wriggles around." "What are you, then?" "An oversized squirrel?" "I'm a burglar" " Uh, Hobbit." "A burglar Hobbit?" "Can we cook him?" "We can try." "He wouldn't make more than a mouthful." "Not when he's skinned and boned." "Perhaps there's more burglar Hobbits around these parts." "Might be enough for a pie." " Grab him!" "TOM:" "He's too quick." "Right." "Come here, you little" "Gotcha." "Are there any more of you little fellas..." "...hiding where you shouldn't?" " No." "He's lying." " No, I'm not!" " Hold his toes over the fire." "Make him squeal!" "(SQUEALS)" "Drop him!" "You what?" "I said drop him." "(GROWLS)" "(BILBO YELLS)" "(ALL YELLING)" "(TOM SQUEALS)" "(ROARS)" "WILLIAM:" "Get the sacks!" "Stick them in the sacks!" "(PONIES NEIGHING)" "(TOM SCREAMING)" "Ow!" "(SCREAMS)" "KILI:" "Come on!" "Get up!" " Bilbo!" " Don't!" "Lay down your arms or we'll rip his off." "(SWORD CLANGS)" "NORI:" "Oh!" "That's hot, that's hot, that's hot!" " Don't bother cooking them." "Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly." "They should be sauteed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage." "BALIN:" "Is this really necessary?" "That does sound quite nice." "BOMBUR:" "Untie me, mister." "GLOIN:" "Eat someone your own size." "WILLIAM:" "Never mind the seasoning." "We ain't got all night." "Dawn ain't far away." "Let's get a move on." "I don't fancy being turned to stone." "BILBO:" "Wait!" "You are making a terrible mistake." "You can't reason with them." " They're half-wits!" "BOFUR:" "Half-wits?" "What does that make us?" "BILBO:" "I meant with the seasoning." "What about the seasoning?" "Well, have you smelt them?" "You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up." "BOMBUR:" "Traitor!" "WILLIAM:" "What do you know about cooking Dwarf?" "BERT:" "Shut up." "Let the flurgaburburhobbit talk." "The secret to cooking Dwarf is..." "BERT:" "Yes?" "Come on." "Tell us the secret." "It's, uh..." "Yes, I'm telling you." "The secret is to skin them first." "NORI:" "What?" "Skin us?" "Tom, get me filleting knife." "I'll skin you, you little--!" "DWALIN:" "I won't forget that." "I won't forget it." "What a load of rubbish." "I've eaten plenty with their skins on." "Scarf them, I say boots and all." "TOM:" "He's right." "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw Dwarf." "Nice and crunchy." "BILBO:" "Oh, not that one." "He's infected." "Huh?" "You what?" "Yeah, he's got worms in his tubes." "TOM:" "Eww!" "BOMBUR:" "Aah!" "In fact, they all have." "They're infested with parasites." "It's a terrible business." "I wouldn't risk it." "I wouldn't." "OIN:" "Parasites?" "Did he say "parasites"?" "KILI:" "We don't have parasites." "You have parasites!" "OIN:" "What are you talking about, laddie?" "(KILI GRUNTS)" "I've got parasites as big as my arm." "Mine are the biggest parasites." "I've got huge parasites." "(DWARVES CHATTERING)" "KILI:" "We're riddled." "ORI:" "Yes, I'm riddled." "Yes, we are, badly." "What would you have us do, then?" "Let them all go?" " Well..." "WILLIAM:" "You think I don't know what you're up to?" "This little ferret is taking us for fools." "Ferret?" "Fools?" "GANDALF:" "The dawn will take you all." "Who's that?" "No idea." "Can we eat him too?" "(TROLLS GROANING)" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Get your foot out of my back." "(GRUNTING)" "(DWARVES CHATTERING)" "Ah." "THORIN:" "Where did you go to, if I may ask?" "To look ahead." "What brought you back?" "Looking behind." "Nasty business." "Still, they're all in one piece." "No thanks to your burglar." "He had the nous to play for time." "None of the rest of you thought of that." "They must have come down from the Ettenmoors." "THORIN:" "Since when do Mountain Trolls venture this far south?" "Ooh." "Not for an age." "Not since a darker power ruled these lands." "They could not have moved in daylight." "There must be a cave nearby." "(INSECTS BUZZING)" "NORI:" "Oh, what's that stench?" "GANDALF:" "It's a Troll-hoard." "Be careful what you touch." "(DWARVES COUGHING)" "BOFUR:" "Seems a shame just to leave it lying around." " Anyone could take it." " Agreed." " Nori." "NORI:" "Yeah?" "Get a shovel." "These swords were not made by any Troll." "Nor were they made by any smith among Men." "These were forged in Gondolin by the High Elves of the First Age." "You could not wish for a finer blade." "BOFUR:" "Set it down." "GLOIN:" "That's good." "BOFUR:" "All right, come on." "Quick." "We're making a long-term deposit." "THORIN:" "Let's get out of this foul place." "Come on, let's go." "Bofur, Gloin, Nori." "GANDALF:" "Bilbo." "BILBO:" "Hmm?" "Here." "This is about your size." "I can't take this." "The blade is of Elvish make which means it will glow blue when Orcs or Goblins are nearby." "I have never used a sword in my life." "And I hope you never have to." "But if you do, remember this:" "True courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one." "THORIN:" "Something's coming!" "Gandalf." "GANDALF:" "Stay together!" "Hurry now!" "Arm yourselves!" "RADAGAST:" "Thieves!" "Fire!" "Murder!" "GANDALF:" "Radagast." "It's Radagast the Brown." "Well..." "What on earth are you doing here?" "I was looking for you, Gandalf." "Something's wrong." "Something's terribly wrong." "Yes?" "Oh." "Just give me a minute." "Oh." "I had a thought and now I've lost it." "It was right there on the tip of my tongue." "Oh." "It's not a thought at all." "It's a silly old stick insect." "The Greenwood is sick, Gandalf." "A darkness has fallen over it." "Nothing grows anymore." "At least, nothing good." "The air is foul with decay." "But worse are the webs." "GANDALF:" "Webs?" "What do you mean?" "Spiders, Gandalf." "Giant ones." "Some kind of spawn of Ungoliant, or I am not a Wizard." "I followed their trail." "They came from Dol Guldur." "GANDALF:" "Huh?" "Dol Guldur?" "But the old fortress is abandoned." "No, Gandalf." "'Tis not." "RADAGAST A dark power dwells in there such as I have never felt before." "It is the shadow of an ancient horror." "One that can summon the spirits of the dead." "I saw him, Gandalf." "From out of the darkness a Necromancer has come." "NECROMANCER:" "Radagast." "(BIRDS SCREECHING)" "RADAGAST:" "Quick!" "Quick, quick!" "Quick, quick!" "Wait for me!" "(GASPS)" "Sorry." "Try a little Old Toby." "It'll help settle your nerves." "And out." "(RADAGAST SIGHS)" "Now a Necromancer." "Are you sure?" "That is not from the world of the living." "(ANIMAL HOWLS)" "(RADAGAST GASPS)" "Was that a wolf?" "Are there wolves out there?" "Wolves?" "No, that is not a wolf." "(GROWLING)" "(ALL YELLING)" "THORIN:" "Kili!" "Get your bow!" "Warg scouts." "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind." "Orc pack?" "Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?" "No one." "Who did you tell?" "No one, I swear." "What in Durin's name is going on?" "You are being hunted." "We have to get out of here." "We can't." "We have no ponies." "(WARG HOWLS IN DISTANCE)" "ORI:" "They bolted." "I'll draw them off." "These are Gundabad Wargs." "They will outrun you." "These are Rhosgobel rabbits." "I'd like to see them try." "(WARGS HOWLING)" "(ORC SPEAKS IN BLACK SPEECH) Kogum!" "(There!" ")" "RADAGAST:" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come and get me!" "Ha, ha!" "(SPEAKS IN BLACK SPEECH) Zidg!" "(Wizard!" ")" "(RADAGAST LAUGHING)" "(WARGS GROWLING)" "Come on." "Stay together." "Move!" "THORIN:" "Ori, no!" "Get back." "All of you, come on." "Quick!" "Where are you leading us?" "(SNIFFING)" "(GROWLING)" "(WARG SCREECHES IN DISTANCE)" "(GROWLS)" "(ORC ROARS)" "(ORC GROWLING IN DISTANCE)" "(WEAPONS CLANGING IN DISTANCE)" "(IN BLACK SPEECH) Khozdayin harish huru nar!" "(The Dwarves, they travels towards East!" ")" "Gur!" "(Quickly!" ")" "(WARGS HOWLING)" "GANDALF:" "Move!" "Run!" "(WARGS HOWLING AND BARKING)" "There they are!" "GANDALF:" "This way!" "Quickly!" "(GROWLING)" "There's more coming!" "THORIN:" "Kili!" "Shoot them!" "We're surrounded!" "DORI:" "Where's Gandalf?" "DWALIN:" "He's abandoned us." "(LAUGHS)" "Hold your ground!" "(THORIN IN KHUZDÛL) Ithrikî!" "(Steady!" ")" "This way, you fools!" "THORIN (IN ENGLISH):" "Come on, move!" "Quickly!" "All of you!" "BOFUR:" "Come on!" "THORIN:" "Go, go, go!" "Eight, nine, 10." "Kili!" "Run!" "(WARGS GROWLING)" "(HORN SOUNDS)" "(YELLS)" "(GROWLING)" "Elves." "DWALIN:" "I cannot see where the pathway leads." "Do we follow it or no?" "Follow it, of course." "I think that would be wise." "(GRUNTS)" "Gandalf." "Where are we?" "You can feel it?" "Yes." "It feels like..." "Well, like magic." "That's exactly what it is." "A very powerful magic." "GLOIN:" "There's light ahead." "The Valley of Imladris." "In the common tongue, it's known by another name." "Rivendell." "GANDALF:" "Here lies the Last Homely House East of the Sea." "This was your plan all along." "To seek refuge with our enemy." "You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield." "The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself." "You think the Elves will give our quest their blessing?" "They will try to stop us." "Of course they will." "But we have questions that need to be answered." "If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact." "And respect." "And no small degree of charm." "Which is why you will leave the talking to me." "LINDIR:" "Mithrandir." "Ah." "Lindir." "Stay sharp." "(IN SINDARIN) Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen. (We heard that you had crossed the Loudwater.)" "I must speak with Lord Elrond." "(IN ENGLISH) My Lord Elrond is not here." "Not here?" "Where is he?" "(HORN SOUNDS)" "(THORIN SHOUTS IN KHUZDÛL) Ifridî bekâr!" "(Ready weapons!" ")" "THORIN:" "Close ranks!" "Gandalf." "Lord Elrond." "(IN SINDARIN) Mellonnen!" "Mo evínedh?" "(My friend!" "Where have you gone?" ")" "(IN SINDARIN) Farannem 'lamhoth i udul o charad." "(We've been hunting Orcs that came from the South.)" "Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui. (We slew a number at the Last Bridge.)" "(IN ENGLISH) Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders." "Something or someone has drawn them near." "(IN ENGLISH) Ah." "That may have been us." "Welcome, Thorin, son of Thrain." "I do not believe we have met." "You have your grandfather's bearing." "I knew Thror when he ruled..." "..." "Under the Mountain." "Indeed?" "He made no mention of you." "(SPEAKING IN SINDARIN) Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor." "(Light the fires, fetch the miruvor.)" "Boe i annam vann a nethail vin." "(We must give food to our guests.)" "GLOIN:" "What is he saying?" "Does he offer us insult?" "No, Master Gloin, he's offering you food." "(ALL MURMURING)" "Well in that case, lead on." "BOFUR:" "Hey." "Come on." "Try it." "Just a mouthful." "I don't like green food." "Where's the meat?" "(GROWLS)" "Have they got any chips?" "GANDALF:" "Kind of you to invite us." "Not really dressed for dinner." "Well, you never are." "(GANDALF CHUCKLES)" "I can't say I fancy Elf maids myself, too thin." "They're all high cheekbones and creamy skin." "Not enough facial hair for me." "Although that one there is not bad." "That's not an Elf maid." "(DWARVES LAUGHING)" "That's funny." "(CHUCKLES)" "This is Orcrist, the Goblin-cleaver." "A famous blade forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin." "May it serve you well." "And this is Glamdring the Foehammer." "Sword of the King of Gondolin." "These were made for the Goblin Wars of the First Age." "BALIN:" "I wouldn't bother, laddie." "Swords are named for the great deeds they do in war." "What are you saying, my sword hasn't seen battle?" "I'm not actually sure it is a sword." "More of a letter opener, really." " How did you come by these?" " We found them in a Troll-hoard on the Great East Road shortly before..." "...we were ambushed by Orcs." " And what were you doing on the Great East Road?" "Excuse me." "(DWARVES CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)" "ELROND:" "Thirteen Dwarves and a Halfling." "Hm." "Strange traveling companions, Gandalf." "These are the descendants of the house of Durin." "They're noble, decent folk." "And they're surprisingly cultured." "They've got a deep love..." "...of the arts." " Change the tune, why don't you?" "I feel like I'm at a funeral." " Did somebody die?" "BOFUR:" "All right lads." "There's only one thing for it." "(SINGING) There's" "An" "Inn, there's an inn There's a merry old inn" "Beneath an old gray hill" "And there they brew a beer so brown The Man in the Moon" "Himself came down One night" "To drink his fill" "Oh" "The ostler has a tipsy cat" "That played a five-stringed fiddle" "And up and down he saws his bow" "Now squeaking high" "Now purring low" "(DWARVES LAUGH)" "Now sawing in the middle" "So" "The cat on the fiddle" "Played hey-diddle-diddle A jig that'll wake the dead" "He squeaked and he sawed And he quickened" "The tune And the landlord" "Shook the Man" "In the Moon "It's after" "Three!" he said!" "(DWARVES LAUGHING AND CHEERING)" "THORIN:" "Our business is no concern of Elves." "GANDALF:" "For goodness sake, Thorin show him the map." "THORIN:" "It is the legacy of my people." "It is mine to protect, as are its secrets." "Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves." "Your pride will be your downfall." "You stand in the presence of one of the few in Middle-earth who can read that map." "Show it to Lord Elrond." "Thorin, no." "Erebor." "What is your interest in this map?" "It's mainly academic." "As you know this sort of artifact sometimes contains hidden text." "You still read ancient Dwarvish, do you not?" "(ELROND SPEAKS IN SINDARIN) Ah, cirth ithil." "Moon runes?" "Of course." "An easy thing to miss." "ELROND:" "Well, in this case, that is true." "Moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written." "Can you read them?" "ELROND:" "These runes were written on a Midsummer's Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly 200 years ago." "It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell." "Fate is with you Thorin Oakenshield." "The same moon shines upon us tonight." ""Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day..." "...will shine upon the keyhole."" " Durin's Day?" "It is the start of the Dwarves' new year, when the last moon of autumn and the first sun of winter appear in the sky together." "This is ill news." "Summer is passing." "Durin's Day will soon be upon us." "We still have time." " Time?" "For what?" " To find the entrance." "We have to be standing in exactly the right spot at exactly the right time." "Then, and only then, can the door be opened." "ELROND:" "So this is your purpose, to enter the mountain?" "What of it?" "There are some who would not deem it wise." "What do you mean?" "You are not the only guardian to stand watch over Middle-earth." "(WARGS HOWLING)" "(WARGS GROWLING)" "(YAZNEG IN BLACK SPEECH) Khozdayin, Dorguz... (The Dwarves, Master...) ...zuranimid. (...we lost them.)" "Shugi golgai gelnakhanishim... (The elves-filth surrounded us...)" "AZOG (IN BLACK SPEECH):" "Sha nargiz ob-hakhtil... (I don't want excuses...)" "Nargiz khobdi..." "Rani Khozdil!" "(I want the head of the Dwarf King!" ")" "Murganish dum." "Turim hag shad." "(They outnumbered us to the end." "We could do nothing.)" "Zorzor go-kairaz obguraniz. (I hardly escaped with my life.)" "Ki go-kairag baganig..." "Ombar bunish!" "(If you had paid with your life, it would be better!" ")" "(AZOG ROARS)" "(GROWLING)" "Khozd-sharkun gud shâ kilyash-zag." "(The Dwarves will not hide themselves for long.)" "Zidgar obod tung nash ru khobdud!" "(Inform about there is a price on their head!" ")" "(AZOG ROARS)" "(BIRDS CHIRPING)" "(INHALES DEEPLY THEN EXHALES)" "ELROND:" "Not with your..." "Uh, no, I shan't be missed." "The truth is that most of them don't think I should be on this journey." "Indeed?" "I've heard that Hobbits are very resilient." "(CHUCKLES)" "Really?" "Mm." "I've also heard they're fond of the comforts of home." "(WHISPERING) I've heard that it's unwise to seek the council of Elves." "That they will answer with yes and no." "(CHUCKLES)" "You are very welcome to stay here, if that is your wish." "(IN SINDARIN) Taenen bar-en-abed athar glaind, nevui penim miruvor." "(The kitchen is under enormous strain, we are almost out of wine.)" "Manann ingadh namen i-darthathar?" "(How long do you think they will be with us?" ")" "(IN SINDARIN) Mennar úno. (They are not going anywhere.)" "(CHATTERING)" "(DWARVES LAUGHING)" "(CHATTERING)" "No, you did the same thing." "It's not like you didn't do it." "DWALIN:" "Dori!" "Here, take that." "Bombur!" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "GANDALF:" "Of course I was going to tell you." "I was waiting for this very chance." "And really, I think you can trust that I know what I am doing." "ELROND (IN ENGLISH):" "Do you?" "That dragon has slept for 60 years." "What will happen if your plan should fail..." "...if you wake that beast?" " What if we succeed?" "If the Dwarves take back the mountain our defenses in the east will be strengthened." "ELROND:" "It is a dangerous move, Gandalf." "GANDALF:" "It is also dangerous to do nothing." "Oh, come, the throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright." "What is it you fear?" "ELROND:" "Have you forgotten?" "A strain of madness runs deep in that family." "His grandfather lost his mind." "His father succumbed to the same sickness." "Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall?" "Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with us alone." "It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle-earth." "With or without our help, these Dwarves will march on the mountain." "They're determined to reclaim their homeland." "I do not believe Thorin Oakenshield feels that he is answerable to anyone." "Nor, for that matter, am I." "It is not me you must answer to." "Lady Galadriel." "Mithrandir." "(IN SINDARIN) Gwenwin în únodui (Countless years has passed.)" "(IN SINDARIN) Nae nin gwistant infanneth, mal ú-eichia i Chíril Lorien." "(Alas, age has changed me, but [it] does not change the Lady of Lorien.)" "(IN ENGLISH) I had no idea Lord Elrond had sent for you." "MAN:" "He didn't." "I did." "Ah." "Saruman." "You've been busy of late, my friend." "Tell me, Gandalf did you think these plans and schemes of yours would go unnoticed?" "GANDALF:" "Unnoticed?" "No." "I'm simply doing what I feel to be right." "(IN ENGLISH) The dragon has long been on your mind." "That is true, my lady." "Smaug owes allegiance to no one." "But if he should side with the enemy a dragon could be used to terrible effect." "What enemy?" "Gandalf, the enemy is defeated." "Sauron is vanquished." "He can never regain his full strength." "Does it not worry you that the last of the Dwarf rings should simply vanish along with its bearer?" "Of the seven Dwarf rings, four were consumed by dragons two were taken by Sauron before he fell in Mordor." "The fate of the last Dwarf ring remains unknown." "The ring that was worn by Thrain." "Without the ruling Ring of Power the seven are of no value to the enemy." "To control the other rings he needs the One." "And that ring was lost long, long ago." "It was swept out to sea by the waters of the Anduin." "Gandalf, for 400 years we have lived in peace a hard-won watchful peace." "Are we?" "Are we at peace?" "Trolls have come down from the mountains." "They are raiding villages, destroying farms." "Orcs have attacked us on the road." "Hardly a prelude to war." "Always you must meddle looking for trouble where none exists." "Let him speak." "There is something at work beyond the evil of Smaug." "Something far more powerful." "We can remain blind to it, but it will not be ignoring us, that I can promise you." "A sickness lies over the Greenwood." "The woodsmen who live there now call it Mirkwood." "And they say..." "Well?" "Don't stop now." "Tell us what the woodsmen say." "They speak of a Necromancer living in Dol Guldur." "A sorcerer who can summon the dead." "That's absurd." "No such power exists in this world." "This Necromancer is nothing more than a mortal man." "A conjurer dabbling in black magic." "And so I thought too." " But Radagast has seen-- SARUMAN:" "Radagast?" "Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown." "He's a foolish fellow." "Well, he's odd, I grant you." "He lives a solitary life." "It's not that." "It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms." "They've addled his brain and yellowed his teeth." "I've warned him." "It is unbefitting one of the Istari to be wandering the woods..." "GALADRIEL:" "You carry something." "It came to you from Radagast." "He found it in Dol Guldur." "GANDALF:" "Yes." "GALADRIEL:" "Show me." "SARUMAN:" "listen to me." "I would think I was talking to myself for all the attention that he paid." "By all means..." "What is that?" "A relic of Mordor." "A Morgul Blade." "Made for the Witchking of Angmar." "And buried with him." "When Angmar fell the Men of the North took his body and all that he possessed and sealed it within the High Fells of Rhudaur." "Deep within the rock they buried him in a tomb so dark it would never come to light." "This is not possible." "A powerful spell lies upon those tombs." "They cannot be opened." "What proof do we have this weapon came from Angmar's grave?" "I have none." "Because there is none." "Let us examine what we know." "A single Orc pack has dared to cross the Bruinen." "A dagger from a bygone age has been found." "And a human sorcerer who calls himself "The Necromancer" has taken up residence in a ruined fortress." "It's not so very much after all." "The question of this Dwarvish company, however troubles me deeply." "I'm not convinced, Gandalf." "I do not feel I can condone such a quest." "If they'd come to me, I might have spared them this disappointment." "I do not pretend to understand your reason for raising their hopes." "GALADRIEL:" "They are leaving." "GANDALF:" "Yes." "GALADRIEL:" "You knew." "(SARUMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)" "No, I'm afraid there is nothing else for it." "My Lord Elrond." "The Dwarves, they're gone." "THORIN:" "Be on your guard." "We're about to step over the Edge of the Wild." "Balin, you know these paths." "Lead on." "BALIN:" "Aye." "THORIN:" "Master Baggins I suggest you keep up." "GALADRIEL:" "You will follow them." "GANDALF:" "Yes." "GALADRIEL:" "You are right to help Thorin Oakenshield." "But I fear this quest has set in motion forces we do not yet understand." "The riddle of the Morgul Blade must be answered." "Something moves in the shadows unseen, hidden from our sight." "It will not show itself." "Not yet." "But every day it grows in strength." "You must be careful." "Mithrandir?" "Why the Halfling?" "I do not know." "Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check." "But that is not what I have found." "I have found it is the small things everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay." "Simple acts of kindness and love." "Why Bilbo Baggins?" "Perhaps it is because I'm afraid and he gives me courage." "Do not be afraid, Mithrandir." "You are not alone." "(IN SINDARIN) Ae boe i le eliathon, im tulithon." "(If it will be necessary to help you, I will come.)" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "THORIN:" "Hey!" "Hold on!" "BILBO:" "Aah!" "DWALIN:" "Bilbo!" "(BILBO YELLS)" "We must find shelter!" "Look out!" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "GLOIN:" "Look out, brother!" "KILI:" "Hold on!" "This is no thunderstorm." "It's a thunder-battle!" "Look!" "Well, bless me." "The legends are true." "Giants!" "Stone-Giants!" "Take cover, you fool!" "Hold on!" "KILI:" "What's happening?" "FILI:" "Grab my hand!" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "THORIN:" "Go, go, go!" "BALIN:" "Run!" "Get off!" "Get off!" " Run!" "DORI:" "Hold on!" "Look out!" "THORIN:" "Jump!" "Come on!" "Hold on!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Kili!" "(ALL PANTING)" "GLOIN:" "It's all right!" "They're alive!" "Where's Bilbo?" "Where's the Hobbit?" "(BILBO GRUNTING)" "There!" "THORIN:" "Get him!" "Aah!" "Grab my hand!" "Bilbo!" "DORI:" "Ori, be careful!" "ORI:" "Take it!" "DWALIN:" "I've got you, lad." "ORI:" "Grab on!" "Grab on!" "(GRUNTING)" "Come on." "Get him." "GLOIN:" "Come on, lad." "Up you get." "I thought we'd lost our burglar." "He's been lost ever since he left home." "He should never have come." "He has no place amongst us." "Dwalin!" "DWALIN:" "It looks safe enough." "THORIN:" "Search to the back." "Caves in the mountain are seldom unoccupied." "DWALIN:" "There's nothing here." "Right, then." "Let's get a fire started." "No." "No fires." "Not in this place." "Get some sleep." "We start at first light." "We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us." "That was the plan." "Plans change." "Bofur, take the first watch." "(THUNDER CRASHING)" "(SNIFFING)" "(GROWLING)" "(IN BLACK SPEECH) Nuzdun gin nash. (The scent is fresh.)" "Khozdaikhun..." "Ord kirg gir hir haranish." "(The dwarfdogs..." "They try [to] cross through [the] mountain pass.)" "(DWARVES SNORING)" "Where do you think You're going?" "Back to Rivendell." "No, no, you can't turn back now, eh?" "You're part of the company." "You're one of us." "I'm not, though, am I?" "Thorin said I should never have come and he was right." "I'm not a Took I'm a Baggins." "I don't know what I was thinking." "I should never have run out my door." "You're homesick." "I understand." "No, you don't." "You don't understand." "None of you do." "You're Dwarves." "You're used to this life." "To living on the road never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere!" "Oh, I am sorry." "I didn't" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "No, you're right." "We don't belong anywhere." "I wish you all the luck in the world." "I really do." "What's that?" "BILBO:" "Hmm?" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "Whoa!" "(ALL GRUNTING AND SCREAMING)" "Look out!" "Look out!" "DORI:" "Get away!" "(GOBLINS GROWLING)" "GLOIN:" "Filthy scum!" "DWALIN:" "Get back!" "GLOIN:" "You'll pay for this!" "Got you." "DORI:" "All right, all right." "DWALIN:" "Get off!" "Get your hands off me!" "Get off me!" "Get off me!" "(GOBLINS GROWLING)" "(BILBO GASPS)" "(GROWLS)" "(BILBO YELLING)" "(GOBLINS GROWLING)" "(GRUNTS)" "GREAT GOBLIN:" "I feel a song coming on." "(GROANS)" "(SINGING) Clap, snap The black crack" "Grip, grab Pinch and nab" "Batter and beat" "Make 'em stammer and" "Squeak" "Pound, pound Far" "Underground" "Down, down, down in Goblin-town" "Down, down, down in Goblin-town" "With a swish and a smack And a whip and a crack" "Everybody talks When they're on my rack" "Pound, pound Far underground" "Down, down, down to Goblin-town" "Down, down, down to Goblin-town" "Hammer and tongs Get out your knockers and gongs" "You won't last long On the end of my prong" "Clash, crash" "Crush and smash" "Bang, break Shiver and shake" "You can yammer and yelp But there ain't no help" "Pound, pound Far underground" "Down, down, down in Goblin" "Town" "GOBLIN 1:" "Yeah!" "(GRUNTS AND GROWLS)" "(GOBLIN 2 SHRIEKS)" "GREAT GOBLIN:" "Catchy, isn't it?" "It's one of my own compositions." "That's not a song." "It's an abomination!" "GREAT GOBLIN:" "Abomination." "Mutations." "Deviations." "That's all you're gonna find down here." "Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom?" "Spies?" "Thieves?" "Assassins?" "Dwarves, Your Malevolence." "Dwarves?" "We found them on the Front Porch." "Well, don't just stand there." "Search them." "Every crack." "Every crevice." "GRINNAH:" "It is my belief your great protuberance, that they are in league with Elves!" ""Made in Rivendell." Ah." "Second Age." "Couldn't give it away." "Just a couple of keepsakes." "What are you doing in these parts?" "Uh, don't worry, lads." "I'll handle this." "GOBLIN 3:" "What's--?" "What's that?" "No tricks." "I want the truth, warts and all." "You're going to have to speak up." "Your boys flattened my trumpet." "I'll flatten more than your trumpet!" "If it's more information you want, I'm the one you should speak to." "Mm-hm." "We were on the road." "Well, it's not so much a road as a path." "It's not even that, come to think of it." "More like a track." "Anyway, the point is, we were on this road, like a path, like a track." "And then we weren't, which is a problem, because we were..." "...supposed to be in Dunland..." " Shut up." "...last Tuesday." "Visiting distant relations." "Some inbreds on me mother's side." "Shut up!" "(ALL GASP)" "If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk." "Bring up the mangler." "Bring up the bonebreaker." "Start with the youngest." "THORIN:" "Wait!" "Well, well, well." "Look who it is." "Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror King Under the Mountain." "Oh, but I'm forgetting." "You don't have a mountain." "And you're not a king which makes you nobody, really." "I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head." "Just a head." "Nothing attached." "Perhaps you know of whom I speak." "An old enemy of yours." "A pale Orc, astride a white Warg." "Azog the Defiler was destroyed." "He was slain in battle long ago." "So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" "(CHUCKLING)" "Send word to the pale Orc." "Tell him I have found his prize." "(LAUGHING)" "(RUSTLING)" "Yes." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes!" "Gollum, gollum!" "(GOBLIN GROWLING)" "Aah!" "Nasty Goblinses!" "Better than old bones, precious." "Better than nothing." "(GOLLUM WHIMPERS)" "GOLLUM:" "Too many boneses, precious." "Not enough flesh!" "Shut up!" "Cut its skin off." "Start with its head." "(GOLLUM GROANING)" "(SINGING) The cold hard lands They bites our hands" "They gnaws our feet" "The rocks and stones They're like old bones" "All bare of meat" "Cold as death Without no breath" "It's good to eat" "(GOBLIN SCREAMS)" "Bless us and splash us precious." "That's a meaty mouthful." "Gollum, gollum!" "Aah." "Back." "Stay back." "I'm warning you don't come any closer." "It's got an Elfish blade." "But it's not an Elfs." "Not an Elfs, no." "What is it, precious?" "What is it?" "My name is Bilbo Baggins." "Bagginses?" "What is a Bagginses, precious?" " I'm a Hobbit from the Shire." " Oh." "We like Goblinses, batses and fishes." "But we hasn't tried Hobbitses before." "Is it soft?" "Is it juicy?" "Now, now keep your distance!" "I'll use this if I have to." "Aah!" "I don't want any trouble." "Do you understand?" "Just show me the way to get out of here and I'll be on my way." "Why?" "Is it lost?" "Yes." "Yes, and I want to get unlost as soon as possible." "Ooh, we knows!" "We knows safe paths for Hobbitses." "Safe paths in the dark." "Shut up!" "I didn't say anything." "We wasn't talking to you." "Oh, yes, we was, precious." "We was." "Look, I don't know what your game is but I" "Games?" "Oh, we love games, doesn't we, precious?" "Does it like games?" "Does it, does it?" "Does it like to play?" "Maybe." "What has roots as nobody sees?" "Is taller than trees?" "UP, UP, up it goes" "And yet" "Never grows" "The mountain." "Yes, yes." "Oh, let's have another one, eh?" "Yes!" "Do it again." "Do it again." "Ask us." "No!" "No more riddles." "Finish him off." "Finish him now!" "Gollum, gollum!" "No!" "No." "No." "No." "I want to play." "I do." "I want to play." "I can see you are very good at this." "So why don't we have a game of riddles?" "Yes?" "Just you and me." "Yes." "Yes, just us." "Yes." "Yes." "And if I win you show me the way out." "Yes?" "Yes." "Yes." "And if it loses?" "What then?" "Well, if it loses, precious, then we eats it." "If Baggins loses, we eats it whole." "Fair enough." "Well, Baggins first." "Thirty white horses on a red hill" "First they champ" "Then they stamp" "Then they stand still" "Teeth?" "Teeth!" "Oh, Yes, my precious!" "But we" " We only have nine." "Our turn." "Voiceless, it cries" "Wingless flutters" "Toothless bites" "Mouthless" "Mutters" "Just a minute." "Uh..." "Oh." "Oh!" "We knows!" "We knows!" "Shut up!" "Wind." "It's wind." "Of course it is." "Very clever Hobbitses." "Very clever." "Ah-ah-ah." "A box without hinges" "Key or lid" "Yet golden treasure" "Inside is hid" "Box." "Oh, um..." "Box." "The lid and a key." "Well?" "It's nasty." "Box." "Key." "Do you give up?" "Give us a chance, precious!" "Give us a chance!" "(GRUNTING)" "Eggses!" "Eggses!" "Wet, crunchy little eggses." "Yes." "Grandmother taught us to suck them, yes!" "(WINGS FLUTTERING)" "(GOLLUM EXHALES)" "GOLLUM:" "We have one for you." "All things it devours" "Birds, beasts" "Trees, flowers" "Gnaws iron" "Bites steel" "Grinds hard stones to meal" "Answer us." "Give me a moment, please." "I gave you a good long while." "Birds, beasts..." "Beasts?" "Trees, flowers." "I don't know this one." "GOLLUM:" "Is it tasty?" "Is it scrumptious?" "Is it crunchable?" "Let me think." "Let me think." "It's stuck." "Bagginses is stuck." "Time's up." "Time." "The answer is time." "(GROWLING)" "Actually it wasn't that hard." "Last question." "Last chance." "BILBO:" "Okay." "Ask us." "Ask us!" "Yes, yes." "All right." "What have I got in my pocket?" "That's no fair." "It's not fair!" "It's against the rules!" "Now ask us another one." "No." "No, no, no." "You said ask me a question." "Well, that is my question." "What have I got in my pocket?" "(GROANS)" "Three guesses, precious." "It must give us three!" "Three guesses." "Very well, guess away." " Handses!" " Wrong." "Guess again." "(GRUNTS)" "Fishbones, Goblins' teeth, wet shells, bats' wings... (GRUNTING)" "Knife!" "Oh, shut up!" "Wrong again." "Last guess." "String." "Or nothing." "Two guesses at once." "Wrong both times." "(SOBBING)" "BILBO:" "So..." "Come, then." "I won the game." "You promised to show me the way out." "GOLLUM:" "Did we say so, precious?" "Did we say so?" "What has it got in its pocketses?" "That's no concern of yours." "You lost." "Lost?" "Lost?" "Lost?" "Where is it?" "No!" "(SCREAMS)" "Where is it?" "!" "No!" "No!" "Lost!" "Curse us and splash us!" "My precious is lost!" "What have you lost?" "Mustn't ask us!" "Not its business!" "No!" "Gollum!" "Gollum!" "(PANTING)" "What has it got in its nasty little pocketses?" "He stole it." "He stole it!" "(SCREAMS)" "He stole it!" "GREAT GOBLIN (SINGING):" "Bones will be shattered" "Necks will be wrung" "You'll be beaten" "And battered From racks you'll be hung" "You will die down here" "And never be" "Found" "Down in the deep" "Of Goblin-town" "I know that sword!" "It is the Goblin-cleaver!" "The Biter!" "The blade that sliced a thousand necks!" "Slash them!" "Beat them!" "Kill them!" "Kill them all!" "Cut off his head!" "Take up arms." "Fight." "Fight!" "(ALL GRUNTING)" "He wields the Foehammer!" "The Beater!" "Bright as daylight!" "NORI:" "Thorin!" "(WHIMPERING)" "Follow me." "Quick!" "Run!" "(GOLLUM GRUNTING NEARBY)" "GOLLUM:" "Give it to us!" "(GRUNTING)" "(GOLLUM GROWLING)" "It's ours!" "It's ours!" "(SCREAMS)" "Thief!" "Baggins!" "GANDALF:" "Quickly!" "DORI:" "Faster!" "(GOBLINS GROWLING)" "DWALIN:" "Post!" "Charge!" "Cut the ropes!" "GANDALF:" "Come on, quickly!" "DWALIN:" "Come on, move!" "FILI:" "Bombur!" "BOMBUR:" "Go, go, go!" "THORIN:" "Jump!" "OIN:" "Jump, lad!" "GANDALF:" "Come on!" "DWALIN:" "Push!" "DORI:" "Come on!" "Come on!" "GLOIN:" "Watch your backs!" "You thought you could escape me." "What are you going to do now, Wizard?" "(GROANING)" "That'll do it." "(ALL SCREAMING)" "(ALL GROANING)" "BOFUR:" "Well, that could have been worse." "DWALIN:" "Haver!" "You've got to be joking!" "Gandalf!" "(GOBLINS GROWLING)" "There's too many." "We can't fight them." "Only one thing will save us, daylight!" "Come on!" "Here!" "On your feet." "OIN:" "Balin." "DWALIN:" "Come on!" "(GRUNTS)" "Wait!" "My precious." "Wait!" "Gollum, gollum!" "(FOOTSTEPS)" "GANDALF:" "Quick, quick!" "This way." "(GASPS)" "DORI:" "Come on." "GANDALF:" "Come on, come on." "Quickly." "Right, good!" "(SCREAMS)" "Baggins!" "Thief!" "Curse it and crush it!" "We hates it forever!" "Five, six, seven, eight." "Bifur." "Bofur." "That's 10." "Fili, Kili!" "That's 12." "And Bombur." "That makes 13." "Where's Bilbo?" "Where is our Hobbit?" "Where is our Hobbit?" "DWALIN:" "Curse that Halfling!" "Now he's lost?" "GLOIN:" "I thought he was with Dori!" "Don't blame me!" "Where did you last see him?" "I think I saw him slip away when they first collared us." "GANDALF:" "And what happened, exactly?" " Tell me!" " I'll tell you what happened." "Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it." "He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door." "We will not be seeing our Hobbit again." "He is long gone." "BILBO:" "No." "He isn't." "Bilbo Baggins." "I have never been so glad to see anyone in my life." "KILI:" "Bilbo." "We'd given you up." "How on earth did you get past the Goblins?" "How, indeed." "(CHUCKLES)" "Well, what does it matter?" "He's back." "It matters." "I want to know." "Why did you come back?" "Look, I know you doubt me." "I know you always have." "And you're right." "I often think of Bag-end." "I miss my books." "And my armchair and my garden." "See, that's where I belong." "That's home." "And that's why I came back." "Because you don't have one." "A home." "It was taken from you." "But I will help you take it back if I can." "(GROWLING)" "(IN BLACK SPEECH) Gorid dum!" "Ragshid shirzlum!" "(Run them down to the end." "Tear them to pieces!" ")" "(WARGS HOWLING)" "Out of the frying pan." "And into the fire." "Run." "Run!" "(WARGS HOWLING)" "(GROWLING)" "THORIN:" "Go!" "Up into the trees!" "All of you!" "Climb!" "Bilbo, climb!" "THORIN:" "Quickly!" "(GRUNTS)" "THORIN:" "They're coming!" "(DWARVES YELLING)" "BOFUR:" "Hang on!" "GLOIN:" "Hold on, brothers!" "(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)" "(GROWLING)" "Azog." "(GROWLING)" "(SNIFFING)" "(IN BLACK SPEECH) Nuzdigid?" "Nuzdi gast?" "(Do you smell it?" "The scent of fear?" ")" "Kod... toragid biriz..." "Worori-da!" "(Bring that one to me..." "Kill the others!" ")" "It cannot be." "Kod... toragid biriz... ¿Goragari?" "!" "(Bring that one to me... ¿Kill the rest?" "!" ")" "(DWARVES SCREAMING)" "(WARGS BARKING AND GROWLING)" "Shog agradol!" "(Drink their blood!" ")" "DWALIN:" "It's going!" "(DWARVES SCREAMING)" "(LAUGHS)" "GANDALF:" "Fili!" "(DWARVES YELLING)" "(ROARS)" "Yeah!" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "GANDALF:" "No!" "(GASPS)" "(SCREAMS)" "Oh, no." "Mr. Gandalf!" "ORI:" "Oh, no, Dori!" "(GROWLING)" "(GRUNTS)" "(ROARS)" "ORI:" "Help!" "(AZOG YELLS)" "No!" "(GROWLS)" "(SCREAMING)" "Thorin!" "No!" "(GRUNTS)" "(IN BLACK SPEECH) Biriz torag khobdudol!" "(Bring me his head!" ")" "(BILBO YELLS)" "(WARGS GROWLING)" "Gorid dum!" "(Kill him!" ")" "(DWARVES YELLING)" "(YELLS)" "(SCREAMING)" "(EAGLES SQUAWKING)" "(ROARING)" "Look." "(BILBO SCREAMING)" "(ROARING)" "Thorin!" "GANDALF:" "Thorin!" "Thorin." "(GANDALF WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)" "The Halfling?" "It's all right." "Bilbo is here." "He's quite safe." "(SIGHS)" "You!" "What were you doing?" "You nearly got yourself killed!" "Did I not say that you would be a burden?" "That you would not survive in the Wild?" "That you had no place amongst us?" "I have never been so wrong in all my life." "(ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING)" "I am sorry I doubted you." "No, I would have doubted me too." "I'm not a hero or a warrior." "Not even a burglar." "(EAGLE SQUAWKS)" "Is that what I think it is?" "GANDALF:" "Erebor the Lonely Mountain the last of the great Dwarf kingdoms of Middle-earth." "Our home." "(BIRD CHIRPING)" "OIN:" "A raven!" "The birds are returning to the mountain." "GANDALF:" "That, my dear Oin is a thrush." "But we'll take it as a sign." "A good omen." "You're right." "I do believe the worst is behind us." "(GROWLING)" "NEIL FINN (SINGING):" "Far over" "The misty mountains rise" "Leave us standing" "Upon the height" "What was before" "We see once more ls our kingdom a distant light" "Fiery mountain beneath the moon" "The words unspoken" "We'll be there soon" "For home a song" "That echoes on" "And all who find us will know the tune" "Some folk we never forget" "Some kind we never forgive" "Haven't seen the back of us yet" "We'll fight as long as we live" "All eyes on the hidden door" "To the Lonely Mountain borne" "We'll ride in the gathering storm" "Until we get our long-forgotten gold" "We lay under" "The misty mountains cold" "In slumbers deep" "And dreams of gold" "We must awake" "Our lives to make" "And in the darkness a torch we hold" "From long ago when lanterns burned" "Until this day" "Our hearts have yearned" "Her fate unknown" "The Arkenstone" "What was stolen" "Must be returned" "We must awake" "And make the day" "To find a song" "For heart and soul" "Some folk we never forget" "Some kind we never forgive" "Haven't seen the end of it yet" "We'll fight as long as we live" "All eyes on the hidden door" "To the Lonely Mountain borne" "We'll ride in the gathering storm" "Till we get our long-forgotten gold" "Far away" "From misty mountains cold" "for helping translating the phrases in Sindarin, Quenya, Khuzdûl and Gundabad Orkish." "Transcript and sync:" "Mikerophone" "Therkâ!" "(Steady!" ")" "60 years earlier..." "Khuzd Belkul!" "(A mighty Dwarf!" ")" "Lu zayara, maima mut karima. (Our great leader, he is not here.)" "Atkât!" "(Silence!" ")" "Du Bekâr!" "Du Bekâr!" "(To arms!" "To arms!" ")" "Goryagug!" "(You will all die!" ")" "Mim nu tarâg!" "Du bekâr!" "(No more curved on the beards!" "To arms!" ")" "Zidgar durgim... (Inform our master...) ...khozd-buzbi gimanim!" "(...we've found the dwarf-maggot!" ")" "Lerya laman naiquentallo." "Celvameldë, sí a hlarë ómaquettar." "(Release [the] animal from sharp pain." "Animal-friend, now listen voice-words.)" "Na coilerya envinyanta. (Be its life renewed.)" "Sí a hlarë ómaquettar, na coilerya envinyanta." "(Now listen voice-words, be its life renewed.)" "Kogum!" "(There!" ")" "Zidg!" "(Wizard!" ")" "Khozdayin harish huru nar!" "(The Dwarves, they travels towards East!" ")" "Gur!" "(Quickly!" ")" "Ithrikî!" "(Steady!" ")" "Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen. (We heard that you had crossed the Loudwater.)" "Ifridî bekâr!" "(Ready weapons!" ")" "Mellonnen!" "Mo evínedh?" "(My friend!" "Where have you gone?" ")" "Farannem 'lamhoth i udul o charad." "(We've been hunting Orcs that came from the South.)" "Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui. (We slew a number at the Last Bridge.)" "Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor." "(Light the fires, fetch the miruvor.)" "Boe i annam vann a nethail vin." "(We must give food to our guests.)" "Ah, cirth ithil." "Khozdayin, Dorguz... (The Dwarves, Master...) ...zuranimid. (...we lost them.)" "Shugi golgai gelnakhanishim... (The elves-filth surrounded us...)" "Sha nargiz ob-hakhtil... (I don't want excuses...)" "Nargiz khobdi..." "Rani Khozdil!" "(I want the head of the Dwarf King!" ")" "Murganish dum." "Turim hag shad." "(They outnumbered us to the end." "We could do nothing.)" "Zorzor go-kairaz obguraniz. (I hardly escaped with my life.)" "Ki go-kairag baganig..." "Ombar bunish!" "(If you had paid with your life, it would be better!" ")" "Khozd-sharkun gud shâ kilyash-zag." "(The Dwarves will not hide themselves for long.)" "Zidgar obod tung nash ru khobdud!" "(Inform about there is a price on their head!" ")" "Taenen bar-en-abed athar glaind, nevui penim miruvor." "(The kitchen is under enormous strain, we are almost out of wine.)" "Manann ingadh namen i-darthathar?" "(How long do you think they will be with us?" ")" "Mennar úno. (They are not going anywhere.)" "Gwenwin în únodui (Countless years has passed.)" "Nae nin gwistant infanneth, mal ú-eichia i Chíril Lorien." "(Alas, age has changed me, but [it] does not change the Lady of Lorien.)" "Ae boe i le eliathon, im tulithon." "(If it will be necessary to help you, I will come.)" "Nuzdun gin nash. (The scent is fresh.)" "Khozdaikhun..." "Ord kirg gir hir haranish." "(The dwarfdogs..." "They try [to] cross through [the] mountain pass.)" "Gorid dum!" "Ragshid shirzlum!" "(Run them down to the end." "Tear them to pieces!" ")" "Nuzdigid?" "Nuzdi gast?" "(Do you smell it?" "The scent of fear?" ")" "Ganziliz i u narug obod nauzdanish..." "Torin undag Train." "(I remembered your father reeked of it..." "Thorin son of Thrain.)" "Kod... toragid biriz..." "Worori-da!" "(Bring that one to me..." "Kill the others!" ")" "Shog agradol!" "(Drink their blood!" ")" "Biriz torag khobdudol!" "(Bring me his head!" ")" "Gorid dum!" "(Kill him!" ")" "for helping translating the phrases in Sindarin, Quenya, Khuzdûl and Gundabad Orkish." "Transcript and sync:" "Mikerophone" "OLD BILBO:" "My dear Frodo:" "You asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures." "And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth I may not have told you all of it." "I am old now, Frodo." "I'm not the same Hobbit I once was." "I think it is time for you to know what really happened." "It began long ago in a land far away to the east the like of which you will not find in the world today." "There was the city of Dale." "Its markets known far and wide." "Full of the bounties of vine and vale." "Peaceful and prosperous." "For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle-earth:" "Erebor." "Stronghold of Thror King Under the Mountain." "Mightiest of the Dwarf Lords." "Thror ruled with utter surety never doubting his house would endure for his line lay secure in the lives of his son and grandson." "Ah, Frodo." "Erebor." "Built deep within the mountain itself the beauty of this fortress city was legend." "Its wealth lay in the earth in precious gems hewn from rock and in great seams of gold running like rivers through stone." "The skill of the Dwarves was unequaled, fashioning objects of great beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby and sapphire." "Ever they delved deeper down into the dark." "And that is where they found it." "The Heart of the Mountain." "The Arkenstone." "Thror named it "The King's Jewel"." "He took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine." "All would pay homage to him." "Even the great Elven King, Thranduil." "As the great wealth of the Dwarves grew their store of good will ran thin." "No one knows exactly what began the rift." "The Elves say the Dwarves stole their treasure." "The Dwarves tell another tale." "They say the Elf King refused to give them their rightful pay." "It is sad, Frodo, how old alliances can be broken." "How friendships between peoples can be lost." "And for what?" "Slowly the days turned sour and the watchful nights closed in." "Thror's love of gold had grown too fierce." "A sickness had begun to grow within him." "It was a sickness of the mind." "And where sickness thrives bad things will follow." "The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane coming down from the North." "The pines on the mountain creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind." "Balin, sound the alarm." "Call out the guard." "Do it now!" "BALIN:" "What is it?" "Dragon." "Dragon!" "He was a firedrake from the North." "Smaug had come." "Such wanton death was dealt that day." "For this city of Men was nothing to Smaug." "His eye was set on another prize." "For dragons covet gold with a dark and fierce desire." "Therkâ!" "(Steady!" ")" "Aah!" "No!" "THORIN:" "Come on." "Erebor was lost." "For a dragon will guard his plunder as long as he lives." "THORIN:" "Run for your lives!" "Ah!" "Help us!" "Thranduil would not risk the lives of his kin against the wrath of the dragon." "No help came from the Elves that day, nor any day since." "Robbed of their homeland the Dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness a once mighty people brought low." "The young Dwarf prince took work where he could find it laboring in the villages of Men." "But always he remembered the mountain smoke beneath the moon the trees like torches blazing bright." "For he had seen dragon fire in the sky and a city turned to ash." "And he never forgave and he never forgot." "Far away, in another corner of the world dragons were only make-believe." "GANDALF:" "Up they go!" "A party trick conjured by Wizards on Midsummer's Eve." "No more frightening than fairy dust." "Bilbo!" "And that, my dear Frodo is where I come in." "Bilbo!" "Bilbo." "It was the beginning of an unlikely friendship that has lasted all my life." "But it is not the start of my story." "For me, it began..." "Well, it began as you might expect." "In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit." "Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole full of worms and oozy smells." "This was a Hobbit hole." "And that means good food, a warm hearth and all the comforts of home." "Thank you." "What's this?" "That is private." "Keep your sticky paws off." "It's not ready yet." "Not ready for what?" "Reading." "OLD BILBO:" "What on earth are these?" "FRODO:" "Replies to the party invitations." "Ah." "Good gracious." "Is it today?" "They all say they're coming." "Except for the Sackville-Bagginses, who are demanding you ask them in person." "Are they, indeed?" "Over my..." " ...dead body." " They'd probably find that quite agreeable." "They seem to think you have tunnels overflowing with gold." "It was one small chest, hardly overflowing." "And it still smells of Troll." "What on earth are you doing?" "Taking precautions." "You know I caught her making off with the silverware once." " Who?" " Lobelia Sackville-Baggins." "She had all my spoons stuffed in her pocket." "Ha!" "Dreadful woman." "Make sure you keep an eye on her after I'm..." "When I'm..." "When I'm..." "When you're what?" "It's nothing." "Nothing." "You know, some people are beginning to wonder about you, Uncle." " Huh?" " They think you're becoming odd." "Odd?" "Oh." "Hm." "Unsociable." "Unsociable, me?" "Nonsense." "Be a good lad and put that on the gate." "Do you think he'll come?" "Who?" "Gandalf." "Oh-ho." "He wouldn't miss a chance to let off his Whizpoppers." "He'll give us quite a show, you'll see." "FRODO:" "Right, then." "I'm off." " Off to where?" "FRODO:" "East-farthing Woods." "I'm going to surprise him." "OLD BILBO:" "Well, go on, then." "You don't want to be late." "He doesn't approve of being late." "Not that I ever was." "In those days, I was always on time." "I was entirely respectable." "And nothing unexpected ever happened." "60 years earlier..." " Good morning." "GANDALF:" "What do you mean?" "Do you wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not'?" "Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning?" "Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?" "Hm?" "All of them at once, I suppose." "GANDALF:" "Hmm." "Can I help you?" "That remains to be seen." "I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure." "An adventure?" "No, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures." "Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things." "Make you late for dinner." "Heh, heh." "Mm." "Huh." "Hmm." "Oh." "Ah." "Good morning." "To think that I should have lived to be "good morninged" by Belladonna Took's son as if I were selling buttons at the door." "Beg your pardon?" "You've changed, and not entirely for the better Bilbo Baggins." "I'm sorry, do I know you?" "Well, you know my name, although you don't remember I belong to it." "I'm Gandalf." "And Gandalf means me." "Gandalf?" "Not Gandalf the wandering Wizard who made such excellent fireworks?" "Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve." "Heh, heh." "Ahem." "No idea you were still in business." "And where else should I be?" "Where else...?" "Ahem." "Well, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me even if it's only my fireworks." "Yes." "Well, that's decided." "It'll be very good for you and most amusing for me." "I shall inform the others." "Inform the who?" "What?" "No." "No." "No..." "Wait." "We do not want any adventures here, thank you." "Not today." "Not..." "I suggest you try Over the Hill or Across the Water." "Good morning." "HOBBIT:" "Morning!" "Twelve." "There we go." "Have a very good day." "Chum." "Hello, Mr. Bilbo." "Here." "Have a feel of me tubers." "Nice and firm, they are." " Just come in from West Farthing." " Very impressive, Mr. Worrywort." "Now, I don't suppose you've seen a Wizard lurking around these parts?" "A tall fellow." "Long, gray beard." "Pointy hat." "Can't say I have." "Dwalin, at your service." "Hm." "Uh..." "Bilbo Baggins, at yours." "Do we know each other?" "No." "Which way, laddie?" "Is it down here?" "Is what down where?" "Supper." "He said there'd be food and lots of it." "He..." "He said?" "Who said?" "DWALIN:" "Mmm." "Mmm." "Very good, this." "Any more?" "What?" "Oh, yes, yes." "Ah." "Help yourself." "Hmm." "It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company." "That'll be the door." "Balin at your service." "Good evening." "Yes." "Yes, it is." " Though I think it might rain later." " Hm?" "Am I late?" "Late for what?" "Oh!" "Ha, ha!" "Evening, brother." "By my beard you're shorter and wider than last we met." "BALIN:" "Wider, not shorter." "Sharp enough for both of us." "Uh, excuse me?" "Sorry, I hate to interrupt." "But the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house." "DWALIN:" "Have you eaten?" "BILBO:" "It's not that I don't like visitors." "I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit." "But I do like to know them before they come visiting." " What is this?" " I don't know." " I think it's cheese." "Gone blue." "DWALIN:" "It's riddled with mold." "The thing is, I don't know either of you." "Not in the slightest." "I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind." " I'm sorry." "BALIN:" "You think...?" "Apology accepted." " Ah." "BALIN:" "Now, fill it up, brother don't stint." "DWALIN:" "You wanna get stuck in?" " I could eat again if you insist, brother." " Fili." " And Kili." "At your service." "You must be Mr. Boggins." "Nope!" "You can't come in." "You've come to the wrong house." "What?" " Has it been canceled?" " No one told us." "No, nothing's been canceled." "That's a relief." "Careful with these." "I just had them sharpened." " It's nice, this place." "FILI:" "Yeah." " Did you do it yourself?" " What?" "No, it's been in the family for years." "That's my mother's glory box." "Can you please not do that?" "Fili, Kili." "Come on, give us a hand." "Mr. Dwalin." "Ha, ha." "BALIN:" "Shove this in the hallway." "Otherwise we'll never get everyone in." "BILBO: "Everyone"?" "How many more are there?" "DWALIN:" "Where do you want this?" " Oh, no." "DWALIN:" "It's really heavy." "No." "No." "There's nobody home!" "Go away and bother somebody else." "There's far too many Dwarves in my dining room as it is." "If this is some clot-head's idea of a joke I can only say it is in very poor taste." "GLOIN:" "Get off you big lump!" "Gandalf." "Excuse me, that's my chicken." "Um..." "If" " If you don't..." "That's my wine." "Excuse me!" "Khuzd Belkul!" "(A mighty Dwarf!" ")" "He's got an injury." "You mean the ax in his head?" "Dead?" "No, only between his ears." "His legs work fine." "Put those back." "Put that back." "Put that back." "Not the jam." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "It's a tad excessive, isn't it?" "Have you got a cheese knife?" " "Cheese knife"?" "He eats it by the block." "BILBO:" "Ugh." "No, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair..." "No, so is that." "Take it back, please." " I cannot hear what you're saying." "BILBO:" "It's an antique." "Not for sitting on." "That is a book, not a coaster." "And put that map down." " Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf?" " Yes?" "May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?" "Oh, no, thank you, Dori." "A little red wine for me, I think." "NORI:" "Whoop!" "Mind out." " Yes." "Ah." "Uh, Fili, Kili." "Uh..." "Oin, Gloin." "Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur..." " ..." "Dori, Nori." "Ori!" " No." "Not my prizewinners, thank you." "No, thank you." "Lu zayara, maima mut karima. (Our great leader, he is not here.)" "GANDALF:" "Yes, you're quite right, Bifur." "We appear to be one Dwarf short." "He is late, is all." "He traveled north to a meeting of our kin." "He will come." "Mr. Gandalf?" "A little glass of red wine, as requested." "It's got a fruity bouquet." "GANDALF:" "Oh." "Cheers." "GLOIN:" "Bombur's on his second leg of lamb already." "GANDALF:" "Hmm." "DWALIN:" "No chance." "Not from that distance." "BOFUR:" "Wanna bet?" "Bombur catch!" "GANDALF:" "I'll help you with that." "DWALIN:" "Oh, you great galumphing git!" "Who wants an ale?" "There you go." "KILI:" "Over here, brother." "DWALIN:" "I said have another drink." "Here you go." "BOFUR:" "Ale on the count of three!" "One..." " ...two..." " Up!" "BOFUR:" "I knew you had it in you!" "Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth." "But it's full of holes." "It's supposed to look like that." "It's crochet." "And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it." "Bebother and confusticate these Dwarves!" "My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" "What's the matter?" "I'm surrounded by Dwarves." "What are they doing here?" "Oh, they're quite a merry gathering once you get used to them." "I don't want to get used to them." "Look at the state of my kitchen." "There's mud trod into the carpet." "They've pillaged the pantry." "I won't tell you what they've done in the bathroom." "They've destroyed the plumbing." "I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" "Excuse me." "I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" "FILI:" "Here you go, Ori." "Give it to me." "BILBO:" "Take that back." "Excuse me." "That's my mother's West Farthing pottery." "It's over 100 years old!" "And can you not do that?" "You'll blunt them." "BOFUR:" "Ooh." "Do you hear that, lads?" "He says we'll blunt the knives." "Blunt the knives, bend the forks" "Smash the bottles and burn the corks" "Chip the glasses and crack the plates" "That's what Bilbo Baggins" "Hates" "Cut the cloth, tread on the fat" "Leave the bones on the bedroom mat" "Pour the milk on the pantry floor" "Splash the wine" "On every door" "Dump the crooks in a boiling bowl" "Pound them up with a thumping pole" "When you're finished" "If they are whole" "Send them down the hall to roll" "That's what Bilbo Baggins hates" "GANDALF:" "Bilbo." "He is here." "Gandalf." "I thought you said this place would be easy to find." "I lost my way, twice." "I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." "Mark?" "There's no mark on that door." "It was painted a week ago." "There is a mark." "I put it there myself." "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company Thorin Oakenshield." "So this is the Hobbit." "Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?" " Pardon me?" "THORIN:" "Ax or sword?" "What's your weapon of choice?" "Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know but I fail to see why that's relevant." "Thought as much." "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." "BALIN:" "What news from the meeting in Ered Luin?" "Did they all come?" " Aye." "Envoys from all seven kingdoms." "BALIN:" "All of them!" "DWALIN:" "And what did the Dwarves of the Iron Hills say?" "Is Dain with us?" "They will not come." "THORIN:" "They say this quest is ours and ours alone." "BILBO:" "You're going on a quest?" "Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." "Far to the east over ranges and rivers beyond woodlands and wastelands lies a single, solitary peak." ""The Lonely Mountain"." "GLOIN:" "Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold." ""When the birds of yore return to Erebor the reign of the beast will end."" " Uh, what beast?" "BOFUR:" "That would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible chiefest and greatest calamity of our age." "Airborne fire-breather." "Teeth like razors claws like meat hooks." "Fond of precious metals." "Yes, I know what a dragon is." "I'm not afraid." "I'm up for it." "I'll give him a taste of Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!" "NORI:" "Good lad, Ori!" "Sit down." "BALIN:" "The task would be difficult with an army behind us but we number just 13." "And not 13 of the best nor brightest." "NORI:" "Here, who are you calling dim?" "OIN:" "Sorry, what did he say?" "FILI:" "We may be few in number but we're fighters, all of us to the last Dwarf." "And you forget, we have a Wizard in our company." "Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons." "Oh, well, no." "I wouldn't say..." "DORI:" "How many, then?" " What?" "How many dragons have you killed?" "DORI:" "Go on." "Give us a number." "Excuse me." "Please." "Atkât!" "(Silence!" ")" "If we have read these signs do you not think others will have read them too?" "Rumors have begun to spread." "The dragon, Smaug, has not been seen for 60 years." "Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing wondering, weighing the risk." "Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected." "Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours?" "Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?" "Du Bekâr!" "Du Bekâr!" "(To arms!" "To arms!" ")" "BALIN:" "You forget, the Front Gate is sealed." "There is no way into the mountain." "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." "How came you by this?" "GANDALF:" "It was given to me by your father." "By Thrain." "For safekeeping." "It is yours now." "FILI:" "If there is a key there must be a door." "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the Lower Halls." "There's another way in." "Well, if we can find it, but Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it." "But there are others in Middle-earth who can." "The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage." "But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done." "That's why we need a burglar." "Hmm." "And a good one too." "An expert, I'd imagine." "GLOIN:" "And are you?" "Am I what?" "He said he's an expert." "Hey." "Me?" "No." "No, no, no." "I'm not a burglar." "I've never stolen a thing in my life." "Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins." "He's hardly burglar material." "Nope." "Aye, the Wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." "KILI:" "He's just fine." "Enough!" "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is." "Hobbits are light on their feet." "In fact, they can pass unseen by most, if they choose." "And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage." "You asked me to find the 14th member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins." "There's more to him than appearances suggest." "And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know." "Including himself." "You must trust me on this." "Very well." " We will do it your way." " No, no." "THORIN:" "Give him the contract." " We're in." "We're off." "BALIN:" "It's just the usual." "Summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required remuneration funeral arrangements, so forth." "Funeral arrangements?" "I cannot guarantee his safety." "Understood." "Nor will I be responsible for his fate." "Agreed." "BILBO:" ""Terms:" "Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any."" "Hmm." "Seems fair." ""Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to lacerations evisceration..."" " Incineration?" "BOFUR:" "Aye." "He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." "You all right, laddie?" "Huh?" "Yeah." "Feel a bit faint." " Think furnace with wings." "BILBO:" "Air." "I need air." "BOFUR:" "Flash of light, searing pain, then poof." "You're nothing more than a pile of ash." "BILBO:" "Hmm." "Nope." "GANDALF:" "Oh, very helpful, Bofur." "I'll be all right." "Just let me sit quietly for a moment." "You've been sitting quietly for far too long." "Tell me when did doilies and your mother's dishes become so important to you?" "I remember a young Hobbit who was always running off in search of Elves in the woods." "Who would stay out late, come home after dark trailing mud and twigs and fireflies." "A young Hobbit who would have liked nothing better than to find out what was beyond the borders of the Shire." "The world is not in your books and maps." "It's out there." "I can't just go running off into the blue." "I am a Baggins of Bag-end." "You are also a Took." "Did you know that your great-great-great-great-uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could ride a real horse?" " Yes." " Yes well, he could." "In the Battle of Green Fields, he charged the Goblin ranks." "He swung his club so hard, it knocked the Goblin king's head clean off and it sailed 100 yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole." "And thus, the battle was won." "And the game of golf invented at the same time." "I do believe you made that up." "Well, all good stories deserve embellishment." "You'll have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back." "Can you promise that I will come back?" "No." "And if you do you will not be the same." "That's what I thought." "Sorry, Gandalf, I can't sign this." "You've got the wrong Hobbit." "It appears we have lost our burglar." "Probably for the best." "The odds were always against us." "After all, what are we?" "Merchants, miners tinkers, toy-makers." "Heh, heh." "Hardly the stuff of legend." "There are a few warriors amongst us." "Old warriors." "I would take each and every one of these Dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills." "For when I called upon them, they answered." "Loyalty, honor a willing heart." "I can ask no more than that." "You don't have to do this." "You have a choice." "You've done honorably by our people." "You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains." "A life of peace and plenty." "A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor." "From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me." "They dreamt of the day when the Dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland." "There is no choice, Balin." "Not for me." "Then we are with you, laddie." "We will see it done." "Far over" "The misty mountains cold" "To dungeons deep" "And caverns old" "We must away" "'Ere break of day" "To find our" "Long-forgotten gold" "The pines were roaring" "On the height" "The winds" "Were moaning" "In the night" "The fire was red" "It flaming spread" "The trees like torches" "Blazed With light" "Hello?" "Yes." "Yes." "WORRYWORT:" "Here Mr. Bilbo, where are you off to?" " Can't stop, I'm already late!" " Late for what?" "I'm going on an adventure!" "DORI:" "I said it." "Didn't I say it?" "Corning here was a waste of time." "GLOIN:" "That's true enough." "DORI:" "Ridiculous notion." "Use a Hobbit?" "A Halfling?" "Whose idea was it anyway?" "BILBO:" "Wait!" "Wait!" "THORIN:" "Whoa, whoa." "Whoa, whoa." "I signed it." "Here." "BALIN:" "Everything appears to be in order." "Welcome, Master Baggins to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." "Give him a pony." "No, no, that won't be necessary." "Thank you." "I'm sure I can keep up on foot." "I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know?" "Even got as far as Frogmorton once." "Aah!" "OIN:" "Come on, Nori." "Pay up." "KILI:" "One more." "OIN:" "Thanks, lad." "What's that about?" "Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you'd turn up." "Most of them bet that you wouldn't." "And what did you think?" "Well..." "My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second." "It's horse hair." "Having a reaction." "No, wait, wait, stop." "Stop!" "We have to turn around." "GANDALF:" "What on earth is the matter?" " I forgot my handkerchief." "BOFUR:" "Here." "Use this." "THORIN:" "Move on." "GANDALF:" "You'll have to manage without pocket handkerchiefs and a good many other things, Bilbo Baggins before we reach our journey's end." "You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire." "But home is now behind you." "The world is ahead." "Hello, girl." "Who's a good girl?" "It's our little secret, Myrtle." "You must tell no one." "Shh, shh." "What was that?" "Orcs." "Orcs?" "FILI:" "Throat-cutters." "There'll be dozens of them out there." "The lone-lands are crawling with them." "KILI:" "They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep." "Quick and quiet, no screams." "Just lots of blood." "THORIN:" "You think that's funny?" "You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?" "We didn't mean anything by it." "THORIN:" "No, you didn't." "You know nothing of the world." "BALIN:" "Don't mind him, laddie." "Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs." "After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria." "But our enemy had got there first." "Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs led by the most vile of all their race..." "Azog..." "Goryagug!" "(You will all die!" ")" "...the Defiler." "The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin." "He began by beheading the king." "No!" "BALIN:" "Thrain, Thorin's father was driven mad by grief." "He went missing." "Taken prisoner or killed we did not know." "We were leaderless." "Defeat and death were upon us." "That is when I saw him." "A young Dwarf prince facing down the pale Orc." "He stood alone against this terrible foe." "His armor rent wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield." "Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken." "Mim nu tarâg!" "Du bekâr!" "(No more curved on the beards!" "To arms!" ")" "Our forces rallied and drove the Orcs back." "And our enemy had been defeated." "But there was no feast nor song that night for our dead were beyond the count of grief." "We few had survived." "And I thought to myself then there is one who I could follow." "There is one I could call king." "And the pale Orc?" "What happened to him?" "He slunk back into the hole whence he came." "That filth died of his wounds long ago." "Zidgar durgim... (Inform our master...) ...khozd-buzbi gimanim!" "(...we've found the dwarf-maggot!" ")" "DORI:" "Here, Mr. Gandalf can't you do something about this deluge?" "It is raining, Master Dwarf and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." "If you wish to change the weather of the world, find yourself another Wizard." " Are there any?" "GANDALF:" "What?" "BILBO:" "Other Wizards." "GANDALF:" "There are five of us." "The greatest of our order is Saruman the White." "Then there are the two Blue Wizards..." "Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names." "And who is the fifth?" "Well, that would be Radagast the Brown." "Is he a great Wizard?" "Or is he more like you?" "I think he's a very great Wizard, in his own way." "He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others." "He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east." "And a good thing too." "For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world." "Not good." "Not good at all." "Eww." "Oh, no." "Sebastian." "Good gracious." "Come on." "Move back!" "Give him some air for goodness sake." "There." "There." "I don't understand why it's not working." "It's not as if it's witchcraft." "Witchcraft." "Oh, but it is." "A dark and powerful magic." "Lerya laman naiquentallo." "Celvameldë, sí a hlarë ómaquettar." "(Release [the] animal from sharp pain." "Animal-friend, now listen voice-words.)" "Na coilerya envinyanta. (Be its life renewed.)" "Sí a hlarë ómaquettar, na coilerya envinyanta." "(Now listen voice-words, be its life renewed.)" "Where on this good earth did those foul creatures come from?" "The old fortress?" "Show me." "THORIN:" "We'll camp here for the night." "Fili, Kili, look after the ponies." "Make sure you stay with them." "A farmer and his family used to live here." "THORIN:" "Oin, Gloin." "Get a fire going." "OIN:" "Aye." "Right you are." "I think it would be wiser to move on." "We could make for the Hidden Valley." "I have told you already I will not go near that place." "Why not?" "The Elves could help us." "We could get food, rest, advice." "THORIN:" "I do not need their advice." "GANDALF:" "We have a map that we cannot read." "Lord Elrond could help us." "Help?" "A dragon attacks Erebor." "What help came from the Elves?" "Orcs plunder Moria desecrate our sacred halls." "The Elves looked on and did nothing." "And you ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather." "Who betrayed my father." "You are neither of them." "I did not give you that map and key for you to hold onto the past." "I did not know that they were yours to keep." "Everything all right?" "Gandalf, where are you going?" "GANDALF:" "To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." "And who's that?" "GANDALF:" "Myself, Mr. Baggins." "I've had enough of Dwarves for one day." "Come on, Bombur, we're hungry." "Is he coming back?" "He's been a long time." " Who?" " Gandalf." "He's a Wizard." "He does as he chooses." "Here, do us a favor." "Take this to the lads." "Stop it." "You've had plenty." "GLOIN:" "Aye, it's not a bad stew, Bombur." "I've had worse." "NORI:" "Dori could've cooked it." "Ha-ha-ha." "DORI:" "Hilarious." "What's the matter?" " We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." " Only we've encountered a slight problem." "KILI:" "We had 16." "FILI:" "Now there's 14." "KILI:" "Daisy and Bungo are missing." "Well, that's not good." "Ha, ha." "And that is not good at all." "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?" "Uh, no." "Let's not worry him." "As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it." "Well, uh..." " Look, something big uprooted these trees." " That was our thinking." "It's something very big and possibly quite dangerous." "Hey..." "There's a light." "Over here." "Stay down." "What is it?" "Trolls." "Oh." "He's got Myrtle and Minty." "I think they're gonna eat them." "We have to do something." "Yes, you should." "Mountain Trolls are slow and stupid, and you're small, they'll never see you." "It's perfectly safe." "We'll be behind you." "If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl." "BILBO:" "Twice like a barn owl." "No, twice like a brown..." "Once like a..." "Like a..." "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "BERT:" "Mutton yesterday, mutton today and, blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." "WILLIAM:" "Quit your griping." "These ain't sheep." "These is fresh nags." "Oh!" "I don't like horse." "I never have." " Not enough fat on them." "BERT:" "Well, it's better than leathery old farmer." "All skin and bone, he was." "I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth." "Well, that's lovely, that is." "A floater." "WILLIAM:" "Might improve the flavor." "Ah." "There's more where that came from." " Oh, no, you don't!" "TOM:" "Ow!" "Sit down!" "Well, I hope you're gonna gut these nags." "I don't like the stinky parts." " Ow!" " I said sit down." "I'm starving!" "Now, are we having horse tonight or what?" "BERT:" "Shut your cakehole." "You'll eat what I give you." "WILLIAM:" "How come he's the cook?" "Everything tastes the same." "Everything tastes like chicken." "TOM:" "Except the chicken." "WILLIAM:" "What tastes like fish!" "BERT:" "I'm just saying, a little appreciation would be nice." "Oh. "Thank you very much, Bert." "Lovely stew, Bert."" " How hard is that?" " Shh." "Shh, shh." "Shh." "BERT:" "Just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung." "Here that's my grog." "Sorry." "Ow!" "Ooh." "That is beautifully balanced, that is." "Wrap your laughing gear around that, eh?" "Good, isn't it?" "That's why I'm the cook." "WILLIAM:" "Oh, me guts are grumbling." "I got to snaffle something." " Flesh, I need flesh." "TOM:" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Blimey!" "Bert." "Bert!" "Look what's come out of me hooter." "It's got arms and legs and everything." "BERT:" "What is it?" " I don't know." "I don't like the way it wriggles around." "What are you, then?" "An oversized squirrel?" "I'm a burglar..." "Uh, Hobbit." "A burglar Hobbit?" "Can we cook him?" "We can try." "He wouldn't make more than a mouthful." "Not when he's skinned and boned." "Perhaps there's more burglar Hobbits around these parts." "Might be enough for a pie." " Grab him!" "TOM:" "He's too quick." "Right." "Come here, you little..." "Gotcha." "Are there any more of you little fellas..." " ...hiding where you shouldn't?" " No." "He's lying." " No, I'm not!" " Hold his toes over the fire." "Make him squeal!" "Drop him!" "You what?" "I said drop him." "WILLIAM:" "Get the sacks!" "Stick them in the sacks!" "Ow!" "KILI:" "Come on!" "Get up!" " Bilbo!" " Don't!" "Lay down your arms or we'll rip his off." "NORI:" "Oh!" "That's hot, that's hot, that's hot!" " Don't bother cooking them." "Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly." "They should be sauteed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage." "BALIN:" "Is this really necessary?" "That does sound quite nice." "BOMBUR:" "Untie me, mister." "GLOIN:" "Eat someone your own size." "WILLIAM:" "Never mind the seasoning." "We ain't got all night." "Dawn ain't far away." "Let's get a move on." "I don't fancy being turned to stone." "BILBO:" "Wait!" "You are making a terrible mistake." "You can't reason with them." " They're half-wits!" "BOFUR:" "Half-wits?" "What does that make us?" "BILBO:" "I meant with the seasoning." "What about the seasoning?" "Well, have you smelt them?" "You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up." "BOMBUR:" "Traitor!" "WILLIAM:" "What do you know about cooking Dwarf?" "BERT:" "Shut up." "Let the flurgaburburhobbit talk." "The secret to cooking Dwarf is..." "BERT:" "Yes?" "Come on." "Tell us the secret." " It's, uh..." "Yes, I'm telling you." "The secret is to skin them first." "NORI:" "What?" "Skin us?" "Tom, get me filleting knife." "I'll skin you, you little...!" "DWALIN:" "I won't forget that." "I won't forget it." "What a load of rubbish." "I've eaten plenty with their skins on." "Scarf them, I say boots and all." "TOM:" "He's right." "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw Dwarf." "Nice and crunchy." "BILBO:" "Oh, not that one." "He's infected." "Huh?" "You what?" "Yeah, he's got worms in his tubes." "TOM:" "Eww!" "BOMBUR:" "Aah!" "In fact, they all have." "They're infested with parasites." "It's a terrible business." "I wouldn't risk it." "I wouldn't." "OIN:" "Parasites?" "Did he say "parasites"?" "KILI:" "We don't have parasites." "You have parasites!" "OIN:" "What are you talking about, laddie?" "I've got parasites as big as my arm." "Mine are the biggest parasites." "I've got huge parasites." "KILI:" "We're riddled." "ORI:" "Yes, I'm riddled." "Yes, we are, badly." "What would you have us do, then?" "Let them all go?" " Well..." "WILLIAM:" "You think I don't know what you're up to?" "This little ferret is taking us for fools." "Ferret?" "Fools?" "GANDALF:" "The dawn will take you all." "Who's that?" "No idea." "Can we eat him too?" "Get your foot out of my back." "Ah." "THORIN:" "Where did you go to, if I may ask?" "To look ahead." "What brought you back?" "Looking behind." "Nasty business." "Still, they're all in one piece." "No thanks to your burglar." "He had the nous to play for time." "None of the rest of you thought of that." "They must have come down from the Ettenmoors." "THORIN:" "Since when do Mountain Trolls venture this far south?" "Ooh." "Not for an age." "Not since a darker power ruled these lands." "They could not have moved in daylight." "There must be a cave nearby." "NORI:" "Oh, what's that stench?" "GANDALF:" "It's a Troll-hoard." "Be careful what you touch." "BOFUR:" "Seems a shame just to leave it lying around." " Anyone could take it." " Agreed." " Nori." "NORI:" "Yeah?" "Get a shovel." "These swords were not made by any Troll." "Nor were they made by any smith among Men." "These were forged in Gondolin by the High Elves of the First Age." "You could not wish for a finer blade." "BOFUR:" "Set it down." "GLOIN:" "That's good." "BOFUR:" "All right, come on." "Quick." "We're making a long-term deposit." "THORIN:" "Let's get out of this foul place." "Come on, let's go." "Bofur, Gloin, Nori." "GANDALF:" "Bilbo." "BILBO:" "Hmm?" "Here." "This is about your size." "I can't take this." "The blade is of Elvish make which means it will glow blue when Orcs or Goblins are nearby." "I have never used a sword in my life." "And I hope you never have to." "But if you do, remember this..." "True courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one." "THORIN:" "Something's coming!" "Gandalf." "GANDALF:" "Stay together!" "Hurry now!" "Arm yourselves!" "RADAGAST:" "Thieves!" "Fire!" "Murder!" "GANDALF:" "Radagast." "It's Radagast the Brown." "Well..." "What on earth are you doing here?" "I was looking for you, Gandalf." "Something's wrong." "Something's terribly wrong." "Yes?" "Oh." "Just give me a minute." "Oh." "I had a thought and now I've lost it." "It was right there on the tip of my tongue." "Oh." "It's not a thought at all." "It's a silly old stick insect." "The Greenwood is sick, Gandalf." "A darkness has fallen over it." "Nothing grows anymore." "At least, nothing good." "The air is foul with decay." "But worse are the webs." "GANDALF:" "Webs?" "What do you mean?" "Spiders, Gandalf." "Giant ones." "Some kind of spawn of Ungoliant, or I am not a Wizard." "I followed their trail." "They came from Dol Guldur." "GANDALF:" "Huh?" "Dol Guldur?" "But the old fortress is abandoned." "No, Gandalf." "'Tis not." "RADAGAST:" "A dark power dwells in there such as I have never felt before." "It is the shadow of an ancient horror." "One that can summon the spirits of the dead." "I saw him, Gandalf." "From out of the darkness a Necromancer has come." "NECROMANCER:" "Radagast." "RADAGAST:" "Quick!" "Quick, quick!" "Quick, quick!" "Wait for me!" "Sorry." "Try a little Old Toby." "It'll help settle your nerves." "And out." "Now a Necromancer." "Are you sure?" "That is not from the world of the living." "Was that a wolf?" "Are there wolves out there?" "Wolves?" "No, that is not a wolf." "THORIN:" "Kili!" "Get your bow!" "Warg scouts." "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind." "Orc pack?" "Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?" "No one." "Who did you tell?" "No one, I swear." "What in Durin's name is going on?" "You are being hunted." "We have to get out of here." "We can't." "We have no ponies." "ORI:" "They bolted." "I'll draw them off." "These are Gundabad Wargs." "They will outrun you." "These are Rhosgobel rabbits." "I'd like to see them try." "Kogum!" "(There!" ")" "RADAGAST:" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come and get me!" "Ha, ha!" "Zidg!" "(Wizard!" ")" "Come on." "Stay together." "Move!" "THORIN:" "Ori, no!" "Get back." "All of you, come on." "Quick!" "Where are you leading us?" "Khozdayin harish huru nar!" "(The Dwarves, they travels towards East!" ")" "Gur!" "(Quickly!" ")" "GANDALF:" "Move!" "Run!" "There they are!" "GANDALF:" "This way!" "Quickly!" "There's more coming!" "THORIN:" "Kili!" "Shoot them!" "We're surrounded!" "DORI:" "Where's Gandalf?" "DWALIN:" "He's abandoned us." "Hold your ground!" "Ithrikî!" "(Steady!" ")" "This way, you fools!" "THORIN:" "Come on, move!" "Quickly!" "All of you!" "BOFUR:" "Come on!" "THORIN:" "Go, go, go!" "Eight, nine, 10." "Kili!" "Run!" "Elves." "DWALIN:" "I cannot see where the pathway leads." "Do we follow it or no?" "Follow it, of course." "I think that would be wise." "Gandalf." "Where are we?" "You can feel it?" "Yes." "It feels like..." "Well, like magic." "That's exactly what it is." "A very powerful magic." "GLOIN:" "There's light ahead." "The Valley of Imladris." "In the common tongue, it's known by another name." "Rivendell." "GANDALF:" "Here lies the Last Homely House East of the Sea." "This was your plan all along." "To seek refuge with our enemy." "You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield." "The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself." "You think the Elves will give our quest their blessing?" "They will try to stop us." "Of course they will." "But we have questions that need to be answered." "If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact." "And respect." "And no small degree of charm." "Which is why you will leave the talking to me." "LINDIR:" "Mithrandir." "Ah." "Lindir." "Stay sharp." "Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen. (We heard that you had crossed the Loudwater.)" "I must speak with Lord Elrond." "My Lord Elrond is not here." "Not here?" "Where is he?" "Ifridî bekâr!" "(Ready weapons!" ")" "THORIN:" "Close ranks!" "Gandalf." "Lord Elrond." "Mellonnen!" "Mo evínedh?" "(My friend!" "Where have you gone?" ")" "Farannem 'lamhoth i udul o charad." "(We've been hunting Orcs that came from the South.)" "Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui. (We slew a number at the Last Bridge.)" "Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders." "Something or someone has drawn them near." "Ah." "That may have been us." "Welcome, Thorin, son of Thrain." "I do not believe we have met." "You have your grandfather's bearing." "I knew Thror when he ruled..." " ..." "Under the Mountain." " Indeed?" "He made no mention of you." "Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor." "(Light the fires, fetch the miruvor.)" "Boe i annam vann a nethail vin." "(We must give food to our guests.)" "GLOIN:" "What is he saying?" "Does he offer us insult?" "No, Master Gloin, he's offering you food." "Well in that case, lead on." "BOFUR:" "Hey." "Come on." "Try it." "Just a mouthful." "I don't like green food." "Where's the meat?" "Have they got any chips?" "GANDALF:" "Kind of you to invite us." "Not really dressed for dinner." "Well, you never are." "I can't say I fancy Elf maids myself, too thin." "They're all high cheekbones and creamy skin." "Not enough facial hair for me." "Although that one there is not bad." "That's not an Elf maid." "That's funny." "This is Orcrist, the Goblin-cleaver." "A famous blade forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin." "May it serve you well." "And this is Glamdring the Foehammer." "Sword of the King of Gondolin." "These were made for the Goblin Wars of the First Age." "BALIN:" "I wouldn't bother, laddie." "Swords are named for the great deeds they do in war." "What are you saying, my sword hasn't seen battle?" "I'm not actually sure it is a sword." "More of a letter opener, really." " How did you come by these?" " We found them in a Troll-hoard on the Great East Road shortly before..." " ...we were ambushed by Orcs." " And what were you doing on the Great East Road?" "Excuse me." "ELROND:" "Thirteen Dwarves and a Halfling." "Hm." "Strange traveling companions, Gandalf." "These are the descendants of the house of Durin." "They're noble, decent folk." "And they're surprisingly cultured." "They've got a deep love..." " ...of the arts." " Change the tune, why don't you?" "I feel like I'm at a funeral." " Did somebody die?" "BOFUR:" "All right lads." "There's only one thing for it." "There's" "An" "Inn, there's an inn There's a merry old inn" "Beneath an old gray hill" "And there they brew a beer so brown The Man in the Moon" "Himself came down One night" "To drink his fill" "Oh" "The ostler has a tipsy cat" "That played a five-stringed fiddle" "And up and down he saws his bow" "Now squeaking high" "Now purring low" "Now sawing in the middle" "So" "The cat on the fiddle" "Played hey-diddle-diddle A jig that'll wake the dead" "He squeaked and he sawed And he quickened" "The tune And the landlord" "Shook the Man" "In the Moon "It's after" "Three!" he said!" "THORIN:" "Our business is no concern of Elves." "GANDALF:" "For goodness sake, Thorin show him the map." "THORIN:" "It is the legacy of my people." "It is mine to protect, as are its secrets." "Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves." "Your pride will be your downfall." "You stand in the presence of one of the few in Middle-earth who can read that map." "Show it to Lord Elrond." "Thorin, no." "Erebor." "What is your interest in this map?" "It's mainly academic." "As you know this sort of artifact sometimes contains hidden text." "You still read ancient Dwarvish, do you not?" "Ah, cirth ithil." "Moon runes?" "Of course." "An easy thing to miss." "ELROND:" "Well, in this case, that is true." "Moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written." "Can you read them?" "ELROND:" "These runes were written on a Midsummer's Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly 200 years ago." "It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell." "Fate is with you Thorin Oakenshield." "The same moon shines upon us tonight." ""Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day..." " ...will shine upon the keyhole."" " Durin's Day?" "It is the start of the Dwarves' new year, when the last moon of autumn and the first sun of winter appear in the sky together." "This is ill news." "Summer is passing." "Durin's Day will soon be upon us." "We still have time." " Time?" "For what?" " To find the entrance." "We have to be standing in exactly the right spot at exactly the right time." "Then, and only then, can the door be opened." "ELROND:" "So this is your purpose, to enter the mountain?" "What of it?" "There are some who would not deem it wise." "What do you mean?" "You are not the only guardian to stand watch over Middle-earth." "Khozdayin, Dorguz... (The Dwarves, Master...) ...zuranimid. (...we lost them.)" "Shugi golgai gelnakhanishim... (The elves-filth surrounded us...)" "Sha nargiz ob-hakhtil... (I don't want excuses...)" "Nargiz khobdi..." "Rani Khozdil!" "(I want the head of the Dwarf King!" ")" "Murganish dum." "Turim hag shad." "(They outnumbered us to the end." "We could do nothing.)" "Zorzor go-kairaz obguraniz. (I hardly escaped with my life.)" "Ki go-kairag baganig..." "Ombar bunish!" "(If you had paid with your life, it would be better!" ")" "Khozd-sharkun gud shâ kilyash-zag." "(The Dwarves will not hide themselves for long.)" "Zidgar obod tung nash ru khobdud!" "(Inform about there is a price on their head!" ")" "ELROND:" "Not with your..." "Uh, no, I shan't be missed." "The truth is that most of them don't think I should be on this journey." "Indeed?" "I've heard that Hobbits are very resilient." "Really?" "Mm." "I've also heard they're fond of the comforts of home." "I've heard that it's unwise to seek the council of Elves." "That they will answer with yes and no." "You are very welcome to stay here, if that is your wish." "Taenen bar-en-abed athar glaind, nevui penim miruvor." "(The kitchen is under enormous strain, we are almost out of wine.)" "Manann ingadh namen i-darthathar?" "(How long do you think they will be with us?" ")" "Mennar úno. (They are not going anywhere.)" "No, you did the same thing." "It's not like you didn't do it." "DWALIN:" "Dori!" "Here, take that." "Bombur!" "GANDALF:" "Of course I was going to tell you." "I was waiting for this very chance." "And really, I think you can trust that I know what I am doing." "ELROND:" "Do you?" "That dragon has slept for 60 years." "What will happen if your plan should fail..." " ...if you wake that beast?" " What if we succeed?" "If the Dwarves take back the mountain our defenses in the east will be strengthened." "ELROND:" "It is a dangerous move, Gandalf." "GANDALF:" "It is also dangerous to do nothing." "Oh, come, the throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright." "What is it you fear?" "ELROND:" "Have you forgotten?" "A strain of madness runs deep in that family." "His grandfather lost his mind." "His father succumbed to the same sickness." "Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall?" "Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with us alone." "It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle-earth." "With or without our help, these Dwarves will march on the mountain." "They're determined to reclaim their homeland." "I do not believe Thorin Oakenshield feels that he is answerable to anyone." "Nor, for that matter, am I." "It is not me you must answer to." "Lady Galadriel." "Mithrandir." "Gwenwin în únodui (Countless years has passed.)" "Nae nin gwistant infanneth, mal ú-eichia i Chíril Lorien." "(Alas, age has changed me, but [it] does not change the Lady of Lorien.)" "I had no idea Lord Elrond had sent for you." "MAN:" "He didn't." "I did." "Ah." "Saruman." "You've been busy of late, my friend." "Tell me, Gandalf did you think these plans and schemes of yours would go unnoticed?" "GANDALF:" "Unnoticed?" "No." "I'm simply doing what I feel to be right." "The dragon has long been on your mind." "That is true, my lady." "Smaug owes allegiance to no one." "But if he should side with the enemy a dragon could be used to terrible effect." "What enemy?" "Gandalf, the enemy is defeated." "Sauron is vanquished." "He can never regain his full strength." "Does it not worry you that the last of the Dwarf rings should simply vanish along with its bearer?" "Of the seven Dwarf rings, four were consumed by dragons two were taken by Sauron before he fell in Mordor." "The fate of the last Dwarf ring remains unknown." "The ring that was worn by Thrain." "Without the ruling Ring of Power the seven are of no value to the enemy." "To control the other rings he needs the One." "And that ring was lost long, long ago." "It was swept out to sea by the waters of the Anduin." "Gandalf, for 400 years we have lived in peace a hard-won watchful peace." "Are we?" "Are we at peace?" "Trolls have come down from the mountains." "They are raiding villages, destroying farms." "Orcs have attacked us on the road." "Hardly a prelude to war." "Always you must meddle looking for trouble where none exists." "Let him speak." "There is something at work beyond the evil of Smaug." "Something far more powerful." "We can remain blind to it, but it will not be ignoring us, that I can promise you." "A sickness lies over the Greenwood." "The woodsmen who live there now call it Mirkwood." "And they say..." "Well?" "Don't stop now." "Tell us what the woodsmen say." "They speak of a Necromancer living in Dol Guldur." "A sorcerer who can summon the dead." "That's absurd." "No such power exists in this world." "This Necromancer is nothing more than a mortal man." "A conjurer dabbling in black magic." "And so I thought too." " But Radagast has seen..." "SARUMAN:" "Radagast?" "Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown." "He's a foolish fellow." "Well, he's odd, I grant you." "He lives a solitary life." "It's not that." "It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms." "They've addled his brain and yellowed his teeth." "I've warned him." "It is unbefitting one of the Istari to be wandering the woods..." "GALADRIEL:" "You carry something." "It came to you from Radagast." "He found it in Dol Guldur." "GANDALF:" "Yes." "GALADRIEL:" "Show me." "SARUMAN:" "...listen to me." "I would think I was talking to myself for all the attention that he paid." "By all means..." "What is that?" "A relic of Mordor." "A Morgul Blade." "Made for the Witchking of Angmar." "And buried with him." "When Angmar fell the Men of the North took his body and all that he possessed and sealed it within the High Fells of Rhudaur." "Deep within the rock they buried him in a tomb so dark it would never come to light." "This is not possible." "A powerful spell lies upon those tombs." "They cannot be opened." "What proof do we have this weapon came from Angmar's grave?" "I have none." "Because there is none." "Let us examine what we know." "A single Orc pack has dared to cross the Bruinen." "A dagger from a bygone age has been found." "And a human sorcerer who calls himself "The Necromancer" has taken up residence in a ruined fortress." "It's not so very much after all." "The question of this Dwarvish company, however troubles me deeply." "I'm not convinced, Gandalf." "I do not feel I can condone such a quest." "If they'd come to me, I might have spared them this disappointment." "I do not pretend to understand your reason for raising their hopes." "GALADRIEL:" "They are leaving." "GANDALF:" "Yes." "GALADRIEL:" "You knew." "No, I'm afraid there is nothing else for it." "My Lord Elrond." "The Dwarves, they're gone." "THORIN:" "Be on your guard." "We're about to step over the Edge of the Wild." "Balin, you know these paths." "Lead on." "BALIN:" "Aye." "THORIN:" "Master Baggins I suggest you keep up." "GALADRIEL:" "You will follow them." "GANDALF:" "Yes." "GALADRIEL:" "You are right to help Thorin Oakenshield." "But I fear this quest has set in motion forces we do not yet understand." "The riddle of the Morgul Blade must be answered." "Something moves in the shadows unseen, hidden from our sight." "It will not show itself." "Not yet." "But every day it grows in strength." "You must be careful." "Mithrandir?" "Why the Halfling?" "I do not know." "Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check." "But that is not what I have found." "I have found it is the small things everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay." "Simple acts of kindness and love." "Why Bilbo Baggins?" "Perhaps it is because I'm afraid and he gives me courage." "Do not be afraid, Mithrandir." "You are not alone." "Ae boe i le eliathon, im tulithon." "(If it will be necessary to help you, I will come.)" "THORIN:" "Hey!" "Hold on!" "BILBO:" "Aah!" "DWALIN:" "Bilbo!" "We must find shelter!" "Look out!" "GLOIN:" "Look out, brother!" "KILI:" "Hold on!" "This is no thunderstorm." "It's a thunder-battle!" "Look!" "Well, bless me." "The legends are true." "Giants!" "Stone-Giants!" "Take cover, you fool!" "Hold on!" "KILI:" "What's happening?" "FILI:" "Grab my hand!" "THORIN:" "Go, go, go!" "BALIN:" "Run!" "Get off!" "Get off!" " Run!" "DORI:" "Hold on!" "Look out!" "THORIN:" "Jump!" "Come on!" "Hold on!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Kili!" "GLOIN:" "It's all right!" "They're alive!" "Where's Bilbo?" "Where's the Hobbit?" "There!" "THORIN:" "Get him!" "Aah!" "Grab my hand!" "Bilbo!" "DORI:" "Ori, be careful!" "ORI:" "Take it!" "DWALIN:" "I've got you, lad." "ORI:" "Grab on!" "Grab on!" "Come on." "Get him." "GLOIN:" "Come on, lad." "Up you get." "I thought we'd lost our burglar." "He's been lost ever since he left home." "He should never have come." "He has no place amongst us." "Dwalin!" "DWALIN:" "It looks safe enough." "THORIN:" "Search to the back." "Caves in the mountain are seldom unoccupied." "DWALIN:" "There's nothing here." "Right, then." "Let's get a fire started." "No." "No fires." "Not in this place." "Get some sleep." "We start at first light." "We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us." "That was the plan." "Plans change." "Bofur, take the first watch." "Nuzdun gin nash. (The scent is fresh.)" "Khozdaikhun..." "Ord kirg gir hir haranish." "(The dwarfdogs..." "They try [to] cross through [the] mountain pass.)" "Where do you think You're going?" "Back to Rivendell." "No, no, you can't turn back now, eh?" "You're part of the company." "You're one of us." "I'm not, though, am I?" "Thorin said I should never have come and he was right." "I'm not a Took I'm a Baggins." "I don't know what I was thinking." "I should never have run out my door." "You're homesick." "I understand." "No, you don't." "You don't understand." "None of you do." "You're Dwarves." "You're used to this life." "To living on the road never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere!" "Oh, I am sorry." "I didn't..." "No, you're right." "We don't belong anywhere." "I wish you all the luck in the world." "I really do." "What's that?" "BILBO:" "Hmm?" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "Whoa!" "Look out!" "Look out!" "DORI:" "Get away!" "GLOIN:" "Filthy scum!" "DWALIN:" "Get back!" "GLOIN:" "You'll pay for this!" "Got you." "DORI:" "All right, all right." "DWALIN:" "Get off!" "Get your hands off me!" "Get off me!" "Get off me!" "GREAT GOBLIN:" "I feel a song coming on." "Clap, snap The black crack" "Grip, grab Pinch and nab" "Batter and beat" "Make 'em stammer and" "Squeak" "Pound, pound Far" "Underground" "Down, down, down in Goblin-town" "Down, down, down in Goblin-town" "With a swish and a smack And a whip and a crack" "Everybody talks When they're on my rack" "Pound, pound Far underground" "Down, down, down to Goblin-town" "Down, down, down to Goblin-town" "Hammer and tongs Get out your knockers and gongs" "You won't last long On the end of my prong" "Clash, crash" "Crush and smash" "Bang, break Shiver and shake" "You can yammer and yelp But there ain't no help" "Pound, pound Far underground" "Down, down, down in Goblin" "Town" "GOBLIN 1:" "Yeah!" "GREAT GOBLIN:" "Catchy, isn't it?" "It's one of my own compositions." "That's not a song." "It's an abomination!" "GREAT GOBLIN:" "Abomination." "Mutations." "Deviations." "That's all you're gonna find down here." "Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom?" "Spies?" "Thieves?" "Assassins?" "Dwarves, Your Malevolence." "Dwarves?" "We found them on the Front Porch." "Well, don't just stand there." "Search them." "Every crack." "Every crevice." "GRINNAH:" "It is my belief your great protuberance, that they are in league with Elves!" ""Made in Rivendell." Ah." "Second Age." "Couldn't give it away." "Just a couple of keepsakes." "What are you doing in these parts?" "Uh, don't worry, lads." "I'll handle this." "GOBLIN 3:" "What's...?" "What's that?" "No tricks." "I want the truth, warts and all." "You're going to have to speak up." "Your boys flattened my trumpet." "I'll flatten more than your trumpet!" "If it's more information you want, I'm the one you should speak to." "Mm-hm." "We were on the road." "Well, it's not so much a road as a path." "It's not even that, come to think of it." "More like a track." "Anyway, the point is, we were on this road, like a path, like a track." "And then we weren't, which is a problem, because we were..." " ...supposed to be in Dunland..." " Shut up." "...last Tuesday." "Visiting distant relations." "Some inbreds on me mother's side." "Shut up!" "If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk." "Bring up the mangler." "Bring up the bonebreaker." "Start with the youngest." "THORIN:" "Wait!" "Well, well, well." "Look who it is." "Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror King Under the Mountain." "Oh, but I'm forgetting." "You don't have a mountain." "And you're not a king which makes you nobody, really." "I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head." "Just a head." "Nothing attached." "Perhaps you know of whom I speak." "An old enemy of yours." "A pale Orc, astride a white Warg." "Azog the Defiler was destroyed." "He was slain in battle long ago." "So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" "Send word to the pale Orc." "Tell him I have found his prize." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes!" "Gollum, gollum!" "Aah!" "Nasty Goblinses!" "Better than old bones, precious." "Better than nothing." "GOLLUM:" "Too many boneses, precious." "Not enough flesh!" "Shut up!" "Cut its skin off." "Start with its head." "The cold hard lands They bites our hands" "They gnaws our feet" "The rocks and stones They're like old bones" "All bare of meat" "Cold as death Without no breath" "It's good to eat" "Bless us and splash us precious." "That's a meaty mouthful." "Gollum, gollum!" "Aah." "Back." "Stay back." "I'm warning you don't come any closer." "It's got an Elfish blade." "But it's not an Elfs." "Not an Elfs, no." "What is it, precious?" "What is it?" "My name is Bilbo Baggins." "Bagginses?" "What is a Bagginses, precious?" " I'm a Hobbit from the Shire." " Oh." "We like Goblinses, batses and fishes." "But we hasn't tried Hobbitses before." "Is it soft?" "Is it juicy?" "Now, now keep your distance!" "I'll use this if I have to." "Aah!" "I don't want any trouble." "Do you understand?" "Just show me the way to get out of here and I'll be on my way." "Why?" "Is it lost?" "Yes." "Yes, and I want to get unlost as soon as possible." "Ooh, we knows!" "We knows safe paths for Hobbitses." "Safe paths in the dark." "Shut up!" "I didn't say anything." "We wasn't talking to you." "Oh, yes, we was, precious." "We was." "Look, I don't know what your game is but I..." "Games?" "Oh, we love games, doesn't we, precious?" "Does it like games?" "Does it, does it?" "Does it like to play?" "Maybe." "What has roots as nobody sees?" "Is taller than trees?" "Up, up, up it goes" "And yet" "Never grows" "The mountain." "Yes, yes." "Oh, let's have another one, eh?" "Yes!" "Do it again." "Do it again." "Ask us." "No!" "No more riddles." "Finish him off." "Finish him now!" "Gollum, gollum!" "No!" "No." "No." "No." "I want to play." "I do." "I want to play." "I can see you are very good at this." "So why don't we have a game of riddles?" "Yes?" "Just you and me." "Yes." "Yes, just us." "Yes." "Yes." "And if I win you show me the way out." "Yes?" "Yes." "Yes." "And if it loses?" "What then?" "Well, if it loses, precious, then we eats it." "If Baggins loses, we eats it whole." "Fair enough." "Well, Baggins first." "Thirty white horses on a red hill" "First they champ" "Then they stamp" "Then they stand still" "Teeth?" "Teeth!" "Oh, Yes, my precious!" "But we..." "We only have nine." "Our turn." "Voiceless, it cries" "Wingless flutters" "Toothless bites" "Mouthless" "Mutters" "Just a minute." "Uh..." "Oh." "Oh!" "We knows!" "We knows!" "Shut up!" "Wind." "It's wind." "Of course it is." "Very clever Hobbitses." "Very clever." "Ah-ah-ah." "A box without hinges" "Key or lid" "Yet golden treasure" "Inside is hid" "Box." "Oh, um..." "Box." "The lid and a key." "Well?" "It's nasty." "Box." "Key." "Do you give up?" "Give us a chance, precious!" "Give us a chance!" "Eggses!" "Eggses!" "Wet, crunchy little eggses." "Yes." "Grandmother taught us to suck them, yes!" "GOLLUM:" "We have one for you." "All things it devours" "Birds, beasts" "Trees, flowers" "Gnaws iron" "Bites steel" "Grinds hard stones to meal" "Answer us." "Give me a moment, please." "I gave you a good long while." "Birds, beasts..." "Beasts?" "Trees, flowers." "I don't know this one." "GOLLUM:" "Is it tasty?" "Is it scrumptious?" "Is it crunchable?" "Let me think." "Let me think." "It's stuck." "Bagginses is stuck." "Time's up." "Time." "The answer is time." "Actually it wasn't that hard." "Last question." "Last chance." "BILBO:" "Okay." "Ask us." "Ask us!" "Yes, yes." "All right." "What have I got in my pocket?" "That's no fair." "It's not fair!" "It's against the rules!" "Now ask us another one." "No." "No, no, no." "You said ask me a question." "Well, that is my question." "What have I got in my pocket?" "Three guesses, precious." "It must give us three!" "Three guesses." "Very well, guess away." " Handses!" " Wrong." "Guess again." "Fishbones, Goblins' teeth, wet shells, bats' wings..." "Knife!" "Oh, shut up!" "Wrong again." "Last guess." "String." "Or nothing." "Two guesses at once." "Wrong both times." "BILBO:" "So..." "Come, then." "I won the game." "You promised to show me the way out." "GOLLUM:" "Did we say so, precious?" "Did we say so?" "What has it got in its pocketses?" "That's no concern of yours." "You lost." "Lost?" "Lost?" "Lost?" "Where is it?" "No!" "Where is it?" "!" "No!" "No!" "Lost!" "Curse us and splash us!" "My precious is lost!" "What have you lost?" "Mustn't ask us!" "Not its business!" "No!" "Gollum!" "Gollum!" "What has it got in its nasty little pocketses?" "He stole it." "He stole it!" "He stole it!" "GREAT GOBLIN:" "Bones will be shattered" "Necks will be wrung" "You'll be beaten" "And battered From racks you'll be hung" "You will die down here" "And never be" "Found" "Down in the deep" "Of Goblin-town" "I know that sword!" "It is the Goblin-cleaver!" "The Biter!" "The blade that sliced a thousand necks!" "Slash them!" "Beat them!" "Kill them!" "Kill them all!" "Cut off his head!" "Take up arms." "Fight." "Fight!" "He wields the Foehammer!" "The Beater!" "Bright as daylight!" "NORI:" "Thorin!" "Follow me." "Quick!" "Run!" "GOLLUM:" "Give it to us!" "It's ours!" "It's ours!" "Thief!" "Baggins!" "GANDALF:" "Quickly!" "DORI:" "Faster!" "DWALIN:" "Post!" "Charge!" "Cut the ropes!" "GANDALF:" "Come on, quickly!" "DWALIN:" "Come on, move!" "FILI:" "Bombur!" "BOMBUR:" "Go, go, go!" "THORIN:" "Jump!" "OIN:" "Jump, lad!" "GANDALF:" "Come on!" "DWALIN:" "Push!" "DORI:" "Come on!" "Come on!" "GLOIN:" "Watch your backs!" "You thought you could escape me." "What are you going to do now, Wizard?" "That'll do it." "BOFUR:" "Well, that could have been worse." "DWALIN:" "Haver!" "You've got to be joking!" "Gandalf!" "There's too many." "We can't fight them." "Only one thing will save us, daylight!" "Come on!" "Here!" "On your feet." "OIN:" "Balin." "DWALIN:" "Come on!" "Wait!" "My precious." "Wait!" "Gollum, gollum!" "GANDALF:" "Quick, quick!" "This way." "DORI:" "Come on." "GANDALF:" "Come on, come on." "Quickly." "Right, good!" "Baggins!" "Thief!" "Curse it and crush it!" "We hates it forever!" "Five, six, seven, eight." "Bifur." "Bofur." "That's 10." "Fili, Kili!" "That's 12." "And Bombur." "That makes 13." "Where's Bilbo?" "Where is our Hobbit?" "Where is our Hobbit?" "DWALIN:" "Curse that Halfling!" "Now he's lost?" "GLOIN:" "I thought he was with Dori!" "Don't blame me!" "Where did you last see him?" "I think I saw him slip away when they first collared us." "GANDALF:" "And what happened, exactly?" " Tell me!" " I'll tell you what happened." "Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it." "He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door." "We will not be seeing our Hobbit again." "He is long gone." "BILBO:" "No." "He isn't." "Bilbo Baggins." "I have never been so glad to see anyone in my life." "KILI:" "Bilbo." "We'd given you up." "How on earth did you get past the Goblins?" "How, indeed." "Well, what does it matter?" "He's back." "It matters." "I want to know." "Why did you come back?" "Look, I know you doubt me." "I know you always have." "And you're right." "I often think of Bag-end." "I miss my books." "And my armchair and my garden." "See, that's where I belong." "That's home." "And that's why I came back." "Because you don't have one." "A home." "It was taken from you." "But I will help you take it back if I can." "Gorid dum!" "Ragshid shirzlum!" "(Run them down to the end." "Tear them to pieces!" ")" "Out of the frying pan." "And into the fire." "Run." "Run!" "THORIN:" "Go!" "Up into the trees!" "All of you!" "Climb!" "Bilbo, climb!" "THORIN:" "Quickly!" "THORIN:" "They're coming!" "BOFUR:" "Hang on!" "GLOIN:" "Hold on, brothers!" "Azog." "Nuzdigid?" "Nuzdi gast?" "(Do you smell it?" "The scent of fear?" ")" "Ganziliz i u narug obod nauzdanish..." "Torin undag Train." "(I remembered your father reeked of it..." "Thorin son of Thrain.)" "It cannot be." "Kod... toragid biriz..." "Worori-da!" "(Bring that one to me..." "Kill the others!" ")" "Shog agradol!" "(Drink their blood!" ")" "DWALIN:" "It's going!" "GANDALF:" "Fili!" "Yeah!" "GANDALF:" "No!" "Oh, no." "Mr. Gandalf!" "ORI:" "Oh, no, Dori!" "ORI:" "Help!" "No!" "Thorin!" "No!" "Biriz torag khobdudol!" "(Bring me his head!" ")" "Gorid dum!" "(Kill him!" ")" "Look." "Thorin!" "GANDALF:" "Thorin!" "Thorin." "The Halfling?" "It's all right." "Bilbo is here." "He's quite safe." "You!" "What were you doing?" "You nearly got yourself killed!" "Did I not say that you would be a burden?" "That you would not survive in the Wild?" "That you had no place amongst us?" "I have never been so wrong in all my life." "I am sorry I doubted you." "No, I would have doubted me too." "I'm not a hero or a warrior." "Not even a burglar." "Is that what I think it is?" "GANDALF:" "Erebor the Lonely Mountain the last of the great Dwarf kingdoms of Middle-earth." "Our home." "OIN:" "A raven!" "The birds are returning to the mountain." "GANDALF:" "That, my dear Oin is a thrush." "But we'll take it as a sign." "A good omen." "You're right." "I do believe the worst is behind us." "Far over" "The misty mountains rise" "Leave us standing" "Upon the height" "What was before" "We see once more" "Is our kingdom a distant light" "Fiery mountain beneath the moon" "The words unspoken" "We'll be there soon" "For home a song" "That echoes on" "And all who find us will know the tune" "Some folk we never forget" "Some kind we never forgive" "Haven't seen the back of us yet" "We'll fight as long as we live" "All eyes on the hidden door" "To the Lonely Mountain borne" "We'll ride in the gathering storm" "Until we get our long-forgotten gold" "We lay under" "The misty mountains cold" "In slumbers deep" "And dreams of gold" "We must awake" "Our lives to make" "And in the darkness a torch we hold" "From long ago when lanterns burned" "Until this day" "Our hearts have yearned" "Her fate unknown" "The Arkenstone" "What was stolen" "Must be returned" "We must awake" "And make the day" "To find a song" "For heart and soul" "Some folk we never forget" "Some kind we never forgive" "Haven't seen the end of it yet" "We'll fight as long as we live" "All eyes on the hidden door" "To the Lonely Mountain borne" "We'll ride in the gathering storm" "Till we get our long-forgotten gold" "Far away" "From misty mountains cold"

"Janet!" "What are you doing in front of the mirror?" "I'm gonna need to brush my teeth and I'm already late!" "Janet!" "Can you hear me?" "Yes I heard you." "Ok Bob, I understood." "Are you going to be late again this evening?" "Come on don't get me started." "You know it's not my fault." "I'm sorry." "I don't have a husband anymore." "Oh Bob." "We haven't made love in such a long time." "It's been much too long." "Much..." " Are you coming home for lunch?" " I think so, but don't wait for me at dinner." "I'll be late." "As usual." "I don't think you realise that you have a wife." "What do you mean?" "Well it's been two months since we made love, for example." "Ever since they assigned you to that new case." "You know my job is really hard and I'm very tired when I get home." "You still don't understand about my work, do you?" "You knew I wasn't going to have a lot of free time." "Listen, I'm on call 24/7 for God's sakes." "I'm a policeman you know?" "I don't work 9 to 5 in an office." "And I don't have all the time in the world to think about my love life." " Bye Janet." " Bye." " Good morning sir." " Good morning sergeant." "Aside from this job that is so goddamn tiring that when I get home at night I'm beat, she doesn't even keep herself attractive, with this lotion on her face, these rollers in her hair all day long." "And we always do everything together." "No wonder the attraction has faded." "Me too." "Same here." "Central calling unit 27." " Central to unit 27" " You wanna respond?" " No." "Unit 27 here." "Over." "We have a telephone message for inspector Trevor, from the New York Interpol dept." " We read you." " Let's go to central." " Guess who this is." " The nicest hands I've ever seen." " Janet!" "How wonderful!" " How did you guess?" " I recognised your hands." "You've had these beautiful hands ever since you were a little girl." "Now I don't care much about my hands." "They're housewife's hands." " I'm so glad to see you." " Me too." " Now let me look at you." " Do you think I've changed a lot?" "Yes, more of a woman, more beautiful, more refined." " Is there anything wrong?" " No." "Nothing." " Okay." "How's your husband?" " Fine." "He hasn't changed." " Is he still a policeman?" " Yes my dear, but now he's with Interpol." " With the rank of captain?" " No." "Lieutenant." "But now let's talk about you." "When I heard your voice on the telephone, I couldn't believe it." "Yeah, so many years." "Amy don't exaggerate, we're not all that old yet." "Now what are you doing in Miami?" "One question at a time." "I'll be here for almost two weeks you know." "I'm here for an international conference on psychopathology." "Yeah, I heard you've become a very good psychologist." "Psychologist yes." "I don't know how good, but certainly very curious." "Yes you were always curious and always interested about everything and everyone." "That's true." "To be curious is a must for any psychologist." "But even Jung left medicine for psychology because he was so curious about everything." "Maybe you don't care about these things, but I'm really in love with my profession" "I really don't understand psychology very much." "But I like listening to you, so go on." "Careful, because if I wanted to, I could easily understand any fantasies and hidden motives of your mind." "I always analyze everyone and everything." "Everyone and everything..." " What's on your mind?" "Tell me." " No, never mind." " It's nothing." " But we're friends." " Well guess." " No Janet, you tell me." "Something's happened to you." "Janet, let's talk about it." " I don't think that's really the case." " That's what you think." " At one time you kept no secrets from me." " You're right." "Don't forget that a psychologist is like a confessor." "There's a professional confidence." "So you can open up your soul to me, freely." "I won't breathe a word." "Recently Bob has been given a new job at the office." "It keeps him out till dawn." " Every day of the week." " So you can't see him as often as you would like to." "You can say that I don't see him at all." "Bob only thinks about his work." "I think that maybe he can't help it." "But the end result is the same." "He's behaviour is that of a husband, not a lover." " No more attention, no more sex." " You're so right." "You know, I wonder if he's seeing a mistress." "I don't know." "But I can't stand it anymore." "Sometimes women blame mistresses for things that are really their own fault." "But you know me." "Why are you talking to me in such a reproachful way?" "You wonder why I, a liberated woman would accuse a wife of that?" "Because they accept life's routine and don't give fantasies a chance." "I must say, I don't really understand your point." "The point is that for men work is a priority especially if it's enjoyable to them." "But he needs to be reassured." "He needs a wife at home." "Who loves him." "But in the long run that's not enough, especially for women." "You know?" "That's because the female affection is far more complex." "So when the relationship becomes dull, or even boring, you have to start thinking about enticing him." "Do you think I should behave like a cheap whore?" "No I don't mean that at all." "Men have a different mentality." "Try to be more sexy, starting with your clothes, especially lingerie." "Flirt without being too aggressive." "Sensuality is not a sin." "The need to be wanted and desired by your own husband is proper." "It's nothing to be ashamed of." "Try it." "It would be exciting for both of you." "Mr. Preston?" "Speaking, who is it?" "I saw your ad." "I'm interested." "I'd like you to tell me a bit more about it." "It's very simple." "I specialize in sexy photography services for women who are not satisfied with their intimate relationships with their husbands." "And are trying to revitalise their husband's desire through fantasy." "After all there are many photo services like mine in Playboy magazine." "Many women let themselves be photographed." "Try to be much more sexy." "Start with your clothes." "Especially your lingerie." "Sensuality is not a sin." "Try it." "It'll be exciting for both of you." "Hey Janet, come on!" "Let's show your husband what you can do!" "It's the worst mistake most husbands make." "Not to pay enough attention to the desires of their wives." "And this is in most cases the principle reason for trouble in a relationship." "Here." "Look at this." "These women are all so cunningly sexy." "Yet they're all ordinary women." "Almost all professional's wives." "But they're so beautiful." "With the help of Rosie's make up abilities." "And my photography." "And since that's why you're here, why don't we get started?" " I hope I can." " She's so modest, did you hear that Rosie?" "You'll do just fine." "So let's not waste anymore time." "Let's go." "Just perfect like that." "Now look here." " That was just great." "You're a real professional." " Thank you." "Now let's do this." "Let's photograph you on the bed." "That's it." "Lie down." "Fine." "This is great." "Now turn yourself to the other side." " This way?" " Yes." "That's good." "Now move your hair." "That's great." "You're beautiful." " You're just so beautiful." " Leave me alone!" " Kiss me." " I don't want to." " Kiss me." " No." " Come on, kiss me." " What are you doing?" " Come here." " Leave me alone!" "Hey get off me now." "Come on, I don't want to, no." "You ask what's happening to me?" "I think I'm embarassed to even talk about it." "Amy you're my friend and also a psychologist, so you must try to understand me." "A psychologist is like a confessor as you said, so I have to tell you about it." "I followed your advice." "I had myself photographed in sexy positions." "Like you said, I'm trying to attract Bob's attention." "I think that's the right thing to do." "I'm hoping he'll like them, but..." "I'm not sure I did the right thing." "I want Bob to understand that the only reason I did such a thing was to rebuild our happiness." "Don't worry, tell him you did it for the two of you." "After the first reaction he'll be grateful." "Yes I know." "But I just wish that..." "Okay you're always right." "That's not the point." "If you did it for him you need to tell him." "Right." "You are the psychologist after all." "Are you busy tomorrow?" "Will you have any free time?" " I'm free." " I'd like to spend the day with you." "That's great." "I'll see you tomorrow then." "Hi Janet." " Hi." " Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for New York." "Interpol called me at the station." "So when will you be back?" "I don't know for sure." "I think I'll be home next weekend." " Good night then." " Good night." " You understand the problem now?" " Yeah sure." "It's perfectly clear." "It always happens like that." "I am feeling guilty even if I shouldn't." "Where are you taking me?" "Is this a a surprise?" "Yes." "Is this where they sell those shoes?" "Let's see." "It was just a moment of escape, a time out, relaxation." "Well, a woman like you needs to make love." " Bob has neglected you for much too long." " Yeah." "You know, maybe I was wrong to quit teaching." "I could have married a professor instead of a policeman." " I'd surely would have a better life." " Don't be too sure." "I'm not convinced." "My husband isn't a policeman, but he also tends to forget his marital obligations." "All men are the same." "They get tired of you." "And he has no excuses such as overtime work." "He's the president of a bank." "By the way, what about that photographer?" "Well he's a nice guy." " Hello?" " It's me." " What's up?" "The appointment is at 4 o'clock tomorrow at her appartment." " And why at her place?" " That's what she wants." " See you at the studio." "Ok?" " Ok." "He's a really nice guy like Janet said, and he's supposed to be a top photographer." " So now you're a sexy model, huh?" " Yes." " Does Janet know?" " No, only you know Evelyn, just you." "Don't worry about me, I'm a faithful friend, aren't I?" "Yes but I have to go now." "In a half hour I've got the appointment." "I'll see you again tomorrow." " Okay, but don't forget to tell me everything." " Ok." "See you." " Bye." "Let's start." "Right over here." "Stand up." " Good." "No, no, not yet." " Allright." "We have finished here." " Do you have everything?" " Yes." "Move your head a little higher." "Stay like that." "Now turn towards me real slow." "That's it." "Stop." "That's great." "Unfortunately I have another appointment at the studio and I won't be able to stay." "Rosie's just as good as I am and there's still a roll of film." "In addition to being a great make up artist, Rosie's also an ace photographer." "I'm sorry but I really need to go." "Rosie, will you finish the session for me please?" "Goodbye Willy." "Mrs. Laureen your photos will be ready tomorrow, or at the most the next day." " Bye." " See you." "Beautiful." "Now come a little toward me." "That's the last one." "We're finished." "It's one of my very best sessions." "You came up perfect." " You'll see." " I'm glad." "I was almost sorry I did it." "Don't feel that way." "This is a nice spot." "Let's sit here." "Here, have a look." "These don't even look like me." "Who knows what my husband will say when he sees them." "Well, he'll want to make love." "Do you?" "Once was enough." "You should forget forever what happened between us." "It was nothing more than a fling for me, and I have no intention of repeating it." " Where are the negatives?" " They're all over there in the bag." "She was very embarassed, wasn't she?" "At first she was, but then everything went well." "She unwound easily and didn't notice a thing." "I know how to be charming too, dear." "Yes right." "I just got back here." "No, I'm calling you from central." "I came here first because I needed to drop off some papers." "Yes." "I'll be home for dinner." "See you later Janet." "Hello?" "It's me." "I'm running late." "I'm still at work." "I'm sorry." "There's nothing I can do about it." " But you promised you'd be home for dinner." " I know, but you know what my job is like." "Something came up and was unavoidable." "Please, don't wait up for me." " I understand." "Good night." " Don't be mad at me." "Bye." "Yes it's true." "I cheated on him but I'm really sorry." "I'm ashamed of myself." "And I am somewhat angry." "I have a lot of contradictory feelings." "But then I realise that I love him." " You know exactly what's happening..." " Excuse me, my husband's here." " We'll talk tomorrow." "Bye." " Who were you talking to?" " Janet." " Oh really?" "What about?" " Women's things." "It's not easy." "I decided to show the pictures to Bob." "I had everything ready and suddenly his phone call came." "So what did you do then?" "Nothing." "I put all the dishes away and changed my clothes." "And the album?" "I swear I was about to throw it away because I was so angry." "Then I thought it over and I hid it." "Are you waiting for some other occasion?" "Maybe." "What would you have done if you were in my place?" "Well..." "I would have done the same as you." "Perhaps." "Tell me something." "Is there anything wrong?" "You seem very nervous." "No, nothing." "Just thinking." " Nothing important." " Are you sure?" "That woman is coming to my studio tomorrow at eleven to pick up her photographs." "I can't wait for her because one of my relatives is flying in." "I don't know her name, and I can't reach her, so she'll be very disappointed." "Why don't you meet her at my studio to give her the photos and negatives and collect 800 dollars." " Okay, don't worry." "I'll see you soon." " You're a pal." "Thanks." "Bye." " After you." " Is mister Gordon here?" "No, he had to go to the airport." "He didn't know how to get ahold of you to tell you not to come today." "So he asked me to come meet you here." " And my photos?" " I don't have them." " Why don't you have them?" "Well they didn't come out." "Gordon made a mistake when he was developing the negatives." "Unfortunately, we'll have to do the photo session over again." "Don't you worry though." "I'm here." "And I'm perfectly capable of substituting for Gordon." "No never mind." "I prefer to come back and work with Gordon." "I'd feel more at ease with him." "I'll come back another day." "Well I don't want to brag about it, but I'm better at this than my friend Gordon." " I mean photographer." " I'm sure you are." "Well allright." "You photograph me." "Come." "We don't need that." "That's good." "Now let's move this." "You must relax." "Stay just like that." "Just great." "You're beautiful." "The perfect model." "That's perfect." "Don't move." "Stay still." "Like that." "Excellent." "It's been so long since I made love." "That's strange, that your husband neglects you." "Yes my husband is older and totally absorbed by his work." "What does he do?" "He's a professional." " How did it go?" " Just fine." " Did she pay you?" " Of course." "Thanks for the favor." " A beauty, isn't she?" " She is." " Well, be seeing you." " Bye." "Goodbye Rosie." "See ya." "Let's hope the new client will show up on time." "Better not..." "Here." "Goddamn coward!" "How could he?" "What a sleazebag!" "Son of a whore!" "Goddamn you!" "He's giving me one week's notice to pay." "He said that he would let himself be known with a phone call." "What a bastard!" "Pay that man 50,000 dollars!" " What do you think?" " Didn't you say you already picked up the photographs and negatives?" "All I can think is that the creep has other copies." "But how could he have found out who you were and where you live?" "I just don't know." "I don't understand." " I didn't know that you went to him also." " But I went to someone else who has the same service." "Then I met this creep and it gets complicated to explain how it ended." "I still don't see clearly." "You'll probably receive a similar letter." "That would be a major problem." "I couldn't pay it." " Are you going to pay up?" " No." "Absolutely not." "But in the letter he threatens to release the photographs." "It would be a scandal." "What about your husband?" " What's the matter with you?" "Are you crazy?" " You are crazy to think I'm going to pay you 50,000 dollars." " Now you better explain!" " You're the one who'd better explain." "What's this?" " Blackmail!" " Yeah, yours, bastard!" "No that's not true." "I didn't do anything!" " You're lying." " I don't do such things." "And I would never do anything like that." "Especially to you." "Liar!" "Impostor!" "You con artist!" " No Evelyn!" " I don't believe you!" " Calm down, I love you." " Let me go!" " I do love you." " Let go of me." " Evelyn." "I love you." " Let me go." " I love you." "I love you." "I love you." "And that's the whole story." "Then it wasn't true there was a problem in developing the negatives." "No." "It was not true." "Then why did you..." "The moment I saw you for the first time, I felt something strange inside." "A wild desire for you." "That's why I had to lie to you." "I wanted to see you without your clothes on." "I was so excited by Gordon's photos." "And so with the excuse of the photographs, you jumped on me." "So then Gordon is the blackmailer." "But how did he do it?" "How did he find out personal things like my name, ... my telephone number, my address." "I didn't tell him who I was." "I didn't tell you either." "But how could have Gordon managed to trace me?" "I don't get it." "There are still a few things I have to tell you." "It's not over." "I received a letter." "They want money or they'll expose everything." "I don't know what to do." "I'm so worried." "Now you have to talk to Bob." "This is extortion, do you understand?" "Bob is a policeman." "You've got to do it Janet." "It will help you to tell him." "What if I handle this alone?" " It's blackmail." " I don't know how he will react." "I think he'll understand." "He'll know how to respond." "It's his job." "Okay." "I'll do what you say." "I have no choice." " Will I see you tomorrow then?" " Of course." "Now stay calm." "Thank you." "I feel better now." " Tomorrow will Bob be at home?" " No, he will be out all day." "As usual." "What's wrong with you?" "Have you gone crazy?" "What the hell's the matter with you?" "Shut your mouth!" "You're nothing but a sleazy blackmailer." "What the hell's gotten into you?" "You must have cranked up!" "Let go of me!" "Why would I blackmail them?" "Don't even joke about that." "Okay?" "I never printed any other copies of the pictures." "I wouldn't know what to do with that stuff." "I swear to you Willy." "I don't know anything about this situation." "I've never had anything to do with blackmail." "It's the truth Willy, believe me." "Well who could it be then?" "Rather than being exposed to more blackmail, she decided to report what happened to us." "And surely, the one who's blackmailing her is the photographer." "The man behind the creation of the images we just saw." "Excuse me captain, you know I'm still tied up on the Cuban case." "Where am I possibly going to find the time to work on this?" "This won't be a difficult case." "Don't worry about a thing." "You're gonna solve it before you know it." "And then, since the accuser is the wife of the European diplomat," "I think this case is really one for you people at Interpol." "As you know our department is jammed up." "We have too many other problems to deal with at the moment." " Do me a favor and take care of it." " The way it looks, I guess I'll have to." " Good work lieutenant." " Thanks." "The Captain is on his way." "No, I don't know anything." "I don't even know this miss Katy." "Yes." "I remember her now." "I think she was English." "I didn't know that her name was Katy." "This kind of work requires the utmost discretion." "Clients always wish to remain anonymous and I respect their desires." "I take the photos and I give them all the materials, including the negatives." "They pay me when they're satisfied and that's always the end of it." "I had nothing to do with blackmail of any kind." "Just give me the list of every woman you've photographed." "Or am I going to need a warrant to search the studio?" "No, you can search everywhere." "You won't find anything." "And what's this over here?" "It's an album that I prepared for a lady." "And then she never came back to pick it up." " Strange." "I wonder why she didn't come." " I don't know." "That's a photo proof that I ripped up." "I just didn't like it." "She's one of my clients." " So, these are all women that feel neglected by their husbands." " Most of them yes." " And they want this service." " They do it with only one thing in mind." "To recapture their husbands after years of marriage." "To rekindle their love." "All right." "That'll be all for now." "But Laureen, how could you have fallen for the advances of someone like her?" "You're a modern, liberated woman with so many options." "I gave in." "It had been such a long time since I'd made love." " Does that shock you?" " No." "But you should have told me right away." "The truth is I didn't dare Janet." "I was afraid that Frank would find out about it." "Those photographs of you and Laureen could be used as evidence agaist us in court." "You've got to give them to me." "God forbid that they should ever come out somehow." "What will we do if they fall in the hands of the police?" "How is it possible that Laureen could have received an anonymous letter?" "What are we going to do?" "What alibi do we have?" "We must be prepared for anything to happen." "Do you understand?" "I guess that we'll say those photos were taken just for your amusement." "That you like to be photographed because you have a perverse sense of sexuality." "Those photos must be destroyed!" "Photographs and negatives." "You must give them to me." "Now give them to me!" " Hi Janet." " Hello." "I've got a new job that's much easier." "I'm investigating a photographer suspected of blackmail." " Who is it?" " Someone who specialises in sexy photography." "Do you have any evidence?" "So far there's nothing concrete, but my personal impression's that he has nothing to do with the extortion." "By the way, while I was looking through his studio I found a torn photograph." "And for a moment I really thought it looked a lot like you." "Would you have liked it if that woman was me?" "I would have liked it very much." "Why didn't you show them to me sooner darling?" "Because tonight I just felt I wanted to." "Because I found a ripped photograph of myself in your jacket pocket." "Yeah, I suppose I forgot to hide it." "And is there something else?" "Because I don't want to run the risk of becoming a lesbian." "What makes you say that?" "I shouldn't tell you, because it is the confidence of a friend." "But I have to tell you what Laureen has said to me." "Laureen's in trouble?" "Yes." "But there's more." "You see, just today, I also received a blackmail letter in the mail." "And Laureen, did she get a letter like this one?" "I don't think so." "If she did, I'm sure she would have told me." "I want you to check out the names on this list please." " All right." " Thank you." "Okay." "When you find out more definite information please let me know." "Bob we've bugged the phone of the photographer who took the pictures." "And that of the wife of the European diplomat." "The victim of the extortion." "It's possible that someone else would bring in another blackmail letter to us now." "What's the matter?" "You seem very preoccupied." "Are you worried about the accusations being made against you?" "I think so." "I've decided to pay the 50,000 dollars." "What about you?" "To avoid any misunderstandings I've decided to get a lawyer." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." " Do you love me?" " I do Evelyn." "I love you very much really." "Well, what do you think?" "It's a difficult voice to identify." "It's in falceto on purpose." "However I have the impression that it is a woman's voice." "Yes, I'm quite sure." "Can you tell me who referred you to us?" "To tell you the truth I just picked it up by chance." "I looked through the phonebook and found it." "I'd like to make an appointment with a lawyer." " For a little advice." " Your name please." "My name's Preston." "Willy Preston." "Last night I had a strange dream." "Bob was photographing me while I was nude." " Interesting." " And he was photographing me in every position." "I mean I thought it was him because it was his voice." "I just knew it had to be him." "Even though he was different in every other way." "It's hard to explain." "Anyway, I'm going to tell you about it." "Bob wanted to photograph me while I was making love to someone else." "Can you just imagine Bob, jealous as he is?" "He insisted, I kept saying no, but he wouldn't listen to reason." "It was terrible." "Such dreams, they're impossibly crazy." "But what's strange is that it all seemed so logical." "Dreams are never crazy." "Hegel said that dreams lack any rational coherence and objectivity" "On the other hand, Freud said that dreams are the masked realisation of a hidden desire." "In other words your dream does have a precise meaning." "A meaning that reveals something which actually happened once." "It happens frequently." "Only people don't interprete dreams as having a real life meaning." "In fact, if my insticts are right, you are not ready to give your dream a meaning yet." "Then why don't you teach me the technique?" "Listen, if you intend to steal my trade's secrets, you're going to have to get your own patients." "In my case, what would the real meaning be?" "My dear it's not quite that simple." "And I only give consultations in my office." "But there's no need to confide in me now." "You already told me everything." "You went to bed with the photographer, didn't you?" "It's very clear." "What are you looking at Janet?" "Nothing." "One of the dancers looks like someone I thought I knew." "But I was wrong." "Look how they're dancing." " Is something wrong Janet?" " Amazing resemblance." " Who?" " Rosie, the photographer's assistant." "But do you know what this reminds of?" "The real Rosie." "I want to go ask her about the extortion." "Janet you don't know what you're saying." "You should stay out of the way during the investigation." "Please keep out of it." "You must listen to me." "Anyway, if she doesn't know anything she won't answer and if she does, she's surely not going to tell you, you see?" "It would only create a scandal and that would make matters worse." "Okay, I agree with you." "We'd better go now." "I don't want Bob to get back from work and not find me there." "What are you going to do?" "If you don't mind I'm gonna stay a while." "I want to dance." "Jung writes in one of his books that therapy is different in every case." "And this is my personal therapy." "Don't worry about it." "I don't mind leaving the disco by myself." "I wish I could take care of myself with a dance." " I must get going." "Bye Amy, see you tomorrow." " Bye." " Excuse me, would you like to dance?" " Sure." "And that's everything." "I don't have anything else to tell you." "Then tell me this." "Who is this woman?" "She was one of my former clients." "I only saw her once, when when she came to have herself photographed." "Well, with all those beautiful women, you could really lose your head, don't you think?" "Why won't you take a look at the photographs?" "There really is no need." "I know them very well." "I took them." "Well, my compliments." "You are a master in the art of photography." "I never would have thought that I was so lucky as to have married such a beautiful woman." "You may not believe this." "This is my wife!" "Don't worry, there's no reason to be surprised." "I want to congratulate you." "What a coincidence!" "And I had such faith!" "Whore!" "Whore!" "When I saw those photographs, I couldn't pretend I didn't know the model." "The truth would have come out sooner or later." "The police certainly would have been able to make out your identity from those photos." "How could I pretend I didn't recognise you?" "That's why you showed so much interest when I told you about my client." "You knew perfectly well about the investigation and all the trouble he was in." "When the police asked him who that woman was in the photos he said he didn't know." "While he knew it well." "All too well." "Perfectly well." "The mistake the photographer made, was to pick for a lawyer his lover's husband!" "Whore!" "Shameless!" "How many times did you see him?" "How many times did you screw?" " Go ahead!" "Tell me!" " No!" " Whore!" "You never considered, not even for a moment, how much you could hurt me you bitch." "You slept with him!" "I want the truth." "You fell in love with him, didn't you?" "Yes I love him." "I love him, can't you see?" "I wonder why Laureen hasn't received an extortion letter." "Why?" "I can't understand either." "Unless Laureen just didn't feel like telling me." "No." "I don't think it's possible she could have hidden such a thing." " But something is even more strange." " Go ahead Janet, tell me." "Laureen had hidden her sexy album in a drawer, in the bedroom, under the linens." "So?" "She found it in a different position." "It's a sign that someone had looked through it." "Could she have been mistaken?" "Well I don't know." "Somebody had moved it." "Her husband?" "And why?" " To see it." " Then why not tell Laureen?" "Maybe he just didn't want to talk about it." "Or maybe he's waiting." "So Laureen can show him the pictures." "Like you did with me." "I beg you Amy please." "If I call him he'll recognise me." "You call him, please." "All right." " Do you understand everything?" " Sure." "Now give me the number." "Sure." "This is it: 59 23 77." "Be calm." "Hello." "Excuse me, is this mister Preston's office?" " Yes, who's calling?" " I'm a friend of Rosie's." "Could you please give me her phone number?" "I have to talk to her, it's important." " I'm sorry, but I'm not authorised to give that out." " Ask him." " You'd have to get that from her yourself." " Is she there with you by any chance?" " No." " Do you know where she is?" " No, but you can leave a message." " She doesn't work here at the moment." " Where is she?" " I think she's working on a film." "Oh, this is about a new production job, so it's important that I speak to her immediately." " Make him give you her phone." " Please give me her phone number." "I must reach her right away." " The number!" " Believe me, it's very important." " Yes but..." " It's in Rosie's best interest." " It's CBT studios." " Great." "Thank you very much." " You're welcome." " Good bye." "Okay." "You can try CBT studios." "Why don't you come along with me?" "No Janet." "I don't think that would be the right thing for me to do." " I don't want to get involved." " I know." "You can do what you want." "You are a big girl and there's no way that I can stop you." "But if I could, I would." "I don't agree with your ideas." "But if you must go, don't take unnecessary risks." " Don't worry." " Be careful." "Okay?" "Okay." "I know what I'm doing." "Don't worry." "I wouldn't be so sure about that." "Move it left." "Excuse me." "Are you working at the film?" "No." "I'm looking for Rosie, the make up artist." "Can I see her?" " She's doing make up right now." " A light touch up Rosie, please." "I'm sorry but you can't remain here." " Wait over there." "She's almost finished." " Okay, I will." " Have a good day." " Thank you." "So, you're the one who's looking for me." " What do you want?" " To be honest, nothing special." "I was nearby doing some work, and I just wanted to look around here." "Movie sets are so fascinating." " When I saw you, I wanted to say hello." " That's very nice." "Is this the first time you've visited a movie set?" "Yes." " Then come with me." "I want to show you how a movie is made." " Thank you." "Okay lieutenant, when you get back I'll have it for you." " Thanks." " Have a good one." " See you." "Oh, I forgot to tell you." "The district attorney has started an investigation." "Concerning the missing 500,000 dollars." "It was reported by the administration of City Bank." "Among the suspects is the bank's director and he lives on your street." " A certain Frank..." "Frank Dollman." " I know him!" "He's my next door neighbour." "I cannot believe Frank would do a thing like that." "What is it that you're thinking about?" "Are you keeping it a secret?" "No, but if the album was out of place, it means that Frank must have seen the pictures." "I wanna know why Laureen hasn't been blackmailed." "That missing money in City Bank." "You shouldn't have done it..." " What?" " You shouldn't have told Laureen about your photo session with Willy." "She must have told her husband." "Concealing that she herself also did it." "This could be it." "It could be the blackmailer." " Now remember what I said." " Yes I will." " Hello?" " Is it you?" " Who's there?" "Who's talking?" " Is it you?" " Who's talking?" "Did you get the money?" "Yes. 50,000 dollars." "All in 100 dollar bills." "Good." "Now change the hundreds into small bills and I'll meet you tomorrow at 10 o'clock." "No police or your photos will be distributed free." "You understand what I mean?" "Who knows how many blackmailed women would pay to keep their secret from getting out?" "It only takes ten to cover up a bank deficit of a half a million." "Now I'm convinced that the blackmailer's Frank." "Things were out of control at the bank." " Did you bring the money?" " And you the photos?" "First the money." "It's the police!" "Open up!" "Or we'll break down the door!" "Open up!" "Fuck!" "I know you're in there." "Open up!" "It's all over." "It would be better for you if you just opened the door." "Did you think you could really get away with this?" "I needed the money." "I had to cover the deficit I had at the bank." "It was more like a robbery of 500,000 dollars." "What did you need the money for?" "Frank did it for me." "So that I could buy this house." "She's your lover?" "Great!" "So did you two write the letters here?" "Where have you put the typewriter?" "Come on, tell me where you put it." "Are you deaf?" "Here it is." "That's it." "You're both under arrest for extortion." " Good morning." "The keys." " Good morning ladies." " How I hate to see you leave." " I do too." "I hate to leave you." "Promise me you'll come back as soon as you can?" "Perhaps." "Goodbye Janet." " Bye." " Janet, whatever happens remember:" "if you need me, I'll be there for you." "Okay?" "So let's have it." "We saw the photographer's ad in the newspaper and I telephoned him." "I offered to work as a make up girl and assistant to the photographer." "And he gave me the job." "We were sure that some women would answer the ad in the newspaper." "After that there wasn't any problem." "Everything went on perfectly." "And you got the idea for the crime when you were reading the photographer's ad?" "Yes that's correct." "I suppose you thought it would be easy to extort money from the women who hired Willy, didn't you?" "Yes." "I thought we could get the money that way." "To cover Frank's deficit problem at the bank." "So really it was a set up, under the pretense of a photo session." "No." "I knew the hours of the appointments with Willy's clients and then I would wait for them before they came to the studio." "You mean the photographer never noticed?" "No." "So you figured that your little enterprise was working." "Then my wife answered the photographer's ad too and when I came home one night I discovered the rearrangement of Laureen's drawers." "I decided to poke around, and there in one of the drawers were the photos." "And how did you determine the identities of all the women?" "Rosie took down the licence numbers of the cars." "Of the clients coming to the photographer." "By using the cars' registration number we were able to obtain the name and address." "Fortunately, it was only a bluff." "There were no copies of the photographs." "Anyway, the case is closed." "I am glad that the photographer wasn't implicated." "Even though, it did involve the lawyer's wife." "Willy didn't seem very candid." "I don't think he was telling me the whole truth." "I think you're starting to like him." "Just because he did it initially to make money, when you get right down to it he did solve a lot of couples' problems." "Including us my love?" "Yes." "Even I owe something to Willy." "I really owe him a lot." "The discovery, or better yet the rediscovery of my wife." " The rediscovery of our love Bob?" " Yes." " Have a wonderful day sweetheart." " You too honey." " Thanks." "Are you going to central?" " I'll be there later." "But first I'm going to stop at Willy's to tell him the case is solved." "That will make him very happy." "Sure." "It's always nice to come out clean after certain situations that could be considered tricky." "I'll see you love." "Bye now." "Subtitled by Bryan@Cinemageddon."

"Kadokawa." "Water?" "Ready." "The officials have all fled." "Let us out." "Let us out." "The commander has fled." "Let us out." "No retreat allowed." "Nobody can leave the city." "Let us out." "Nobody can leave the city." "Brothers, go." "Let us out." "Banzai." "Hurry to the lake." "Don't drink that." "It might be a trap." "Yes." "How is it?" "Quite tasty." "Very delicious." "What are you doing?" "It's delicious." "Attention:" "Search and arrest Chinese soldiers." "Attention:" "Search and arrest Chinese soldiers." "Disperse." "Yes." "Stop the car." "Anyone of you speak English?" "German." "Put the guns down." "Kadokawa, listen." "You speak German or English?" "I study in church school." "I wish to speak to your senior officer." "Senior officer?" "Yes, your senior officer." "He wants to see the General." "We'd like to see the General too." "This is the safety zone." "We only have refugees in here." "Friend." "Let's go." "You need to brush up your English." "Let's go." "Yes." "Wait." "Please wait." "Come on." "Let's go." "Please wait." "Sergeant." "Looks like someone has gone in." "Follow me." "Attention." "Hurry, call for reinforcement." "Chinese soldiers." "Chinese soldiers." "Over there." "Chinese soldiers over there." "Chinese soldiers over there." "Chinese soldiers over there." "Sit down." "Stay still." "Hurry." "Tie them up." "135, 136... - 140... " "Please." "Don't take him away." "Kadokawa." "Come over there." "Get out of the way." "What's happening?" "I didn't mean to." "Kadokawa." "Hurry up." "May." "Our luggage was robbed in broad daylight." "OK." "OK." "Thank you." "My sweetie." "Daddy." "Mr. Tang, you're back." "Mr. Tang, your bed has been fixed." "Thank you." "Give me a shout if you need anything." "Thank you." "Thank you for your hard work." "Empty the trash." "Yes." "I'm on it." "Go play with your auntie." "Where should we sleep tonight?" "Stop it." "You fixed it up pretty nicely." "Is Nanking safe?" "We work for the Germans." "We are safe." "What about this month's pay?" "Attention." "Let's pull together." "1, 2, 3" "Stop." "Just leave the tank for our troops." "Yes." "Report:" "Everything's clear." "Bastard." "Stay alert." "Yes." "Chinese." "Lay down." "Spare out." "Where are the Chinese?" "Upstairs." "Watch your back." "We're surrounded." "Morishita." "Kadokawa." "Yes." "Over here." "We attack from below." "It's dangerous here too." "You go first." "Yes." "Stairs over there." "Go." "Damn." "Get cover." "Shunzi, go see what's going on downstairs." "Guns." "Go get more bullets." "Shunzi." "Brothers." "We can't hold out any longer." "Let's disperse." "Give it to me." "Kadokawa." "Yes." "Get a ladder and climb up." "Faster." "Be careful." "Go." "Kill any Chinese soldiers on sight." "There might be Chinese soldiers upstairs." "Load the canons." "Fire." "Advance." "Kadokawa." "Are you hurt?" "I'm fine." "Banzai." "One more photo." "Great." "We can finally eat our hearts out." "Come give me a hand." "Take them all." "This is good stuff." "Must be expensive." "Right here." "Hurry up." "Fire." "Move." "Hurry up." "What the hell are you looking at?" "We've captured over 500 Chinese soldiers." "Okay." "Move in." "What the hell are you looking at?" "Hurry." "What the hell are you looking at?" "Come and help here." "Yes." "We need more over there." "Douse it like this." "Stand up." "Turn back." "Turn back." "Move forward." "Go." "Fire." "Grenades." "Stand up." "Stand up." "Stand up." "Bastard." "Stand up." "Stand up." "Long live China." "China shall not perish." "Take one number." "Don't push." "What's the hurry?" "Speak slowly." "No need to rush." "Don't take so many." "Miss, you can't take too many." "One number for one bed." "What?" "Let go of me." "Be reasonable." "Go back to the tent." "Go back to the tent." "Miss Jiang." "You are alive." "Still alive." "How many were executed?" "All of them." "Only the two of us survive." "Ready." "Good job." "Ready." "Well done." "Furuta." "My turn." "Ready." "Great." "I want to eat hotpot." "Hotpot is good." "I want to eat yam." "Your mom makes the best yam." "Yes." "Your mom must be so happy." "I hear you are getting a promotion." "Me?" "It pays to be educated." "1, 2, 3, 4" "Homesick." "Ueno." "You are dancing the girl's part." "Come join in." "Are you ready for the celebration?" "No." "You need to practice your dancing." "Yes." "Shit." "It's freezing." "It's freezing." "Pass me the ball." "A few Japanese comfort women just arrived." "They are all very sweet." "Hello." "Wait a moment." "Please." "Give it to me." "Sorry." "Your first time?" "Come here." "Please take off your clothes." "My name is Kadokawa." "Sergeant, how do you feel?" "I'm going to marry that woman." "Sergeant," "I got venereal disease here." "Did you get venereal disease in your brain?" "Friend." "In Japanese, "friend" is "tomodachi."" "I am a civilian." "You say it." "I am a civilian." "You say it" "I am a civilian." "Very good." "My dear, you say it." "Three of a kind." "May, you say it." "Don't bother me." "I win." "Daddy, there are fireworks outside." "Hush." "It's almost New Year." "Go to bed." "Sorry." "Don't go downstairs." "Oh, my God." "Stop." "Stay back." "Get away." "Who the hell are you?" "Don't pull me." "No." "Stop." "Stop it at once." "Get out of here." "Who the hell are you?" "A friend." "A Nazi." "A friend." "Was it him?" "Was it him?" "A friend." "Let's go." "Yes." "Do you speak Japanese?" "Yes, a little." "What do you do?" "Mr. Rabe's secretary." "How many children were raped here tonight?" "Six, sir." "From tomorrow on, you and May must wear men's clothes." "Wipe off your nail polish." "Lipstick." "Hair." "Miss Jiang, come." "Look." "These three girls, especially her." "Why you refused to cut your hair?" "Why didn't you?" "You even have permed hair." "We are from the Committee." "The Japanese won't hurt us." "To have you cut your hair is to protect you." "Don't be so stubborn." "I won't cut it." "I need it to feed myself when the war is over." "You want to go back to the streets?" "So what if I earn my own living?" "You can't even if you want to." "How dare you?" "You must cut it." "Take them over there." "Go." "That's a good idea." "You are smart." "Don't scare them." "Don't be afraid." "Look." "Come." "The Japanese are coming." "Go hide inside." "Hello." "It's congee." "Look." "A pretty girl." "Very cute." "Your type." "You kids, go play." "Let's get the flags." "What are you doing?" "Here they come." "Go." "Run." "Get out." "Please, let my daughter go." "They fell for the trap." "Don't touch her." "She's dead." "Xiaojiang." "Happy New Year." "Happy New Year." "I'm here for you." "Please." "New Year's gifts for you." "For me?" "Canned fish." "Candy." "So sweet." "I love this sticky cake." "Sake." "It even has the smell from home." "Yes." "Sorry." "Please go ahead." "I'm... " "Kadokawa." "Please." "Mr. Kadokawa." "Yes." "Finished?" "Don't dance like that." "Do it gently." "Look, I'll show you." "Is it like this?" "Hey, wait." "Friend." "I don't smoke." "Try it." "Friend." "Good?" "Look." "Japanese tobacco." "I don't smoke." "Take it." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Thank you, Mr. Tang." "Mr. Tang." "Two Japanese came for you with your name card." "OK." "Do you remember I wrote to the Führer?" "Yes." "I've been told... " "Yes." "I've been ordered to return to Germany at once." "They say that my activities to protect the refugees in Nanking" "So?" "So?" "So I have no choice." "I must return to Germany." "Mr. Rabe, what about me?" "What about my wife and daughter?" "They 're still living in the camp." "We all depend on you." "I'm so sorry." "Mr. Rabe will abandon us?" "Now can he do that?" "You literally built his business." "He just says bye and walks off." "What shall we do?" "The Japanese have come for me." "Where are you going?" "What are you doing?" "I'll work it out." "In case you need to bribe a Japanese." "Give it back to me when you come back." "Please." "Drive the refugees out of the safety zone." "Reestablish order." "Set up the Comfort Stations quickly." "The soldiers are getting unruly." "Mr. Tomita, this is Mr Tang," "Mr Rabe's secretary." "Welcome." "Remember our oaths at the grassy bridge." "Together we have studied three long years." "Kitty, come here." "With each other we are deeply in love." "This heart of mine has long been yours to keep." "Hold out your hands." "Here." "That's good." "Miss Jiang." "Remember you discovered my earring holes." "That is to say there are still Chinese soldiers in the Safely Zone?" "Yes." "Most are injured." "Thanks, Mr Tang." "You've helped a lot." "Thank you." "Now we are real friends indeed." "Friend." "Don't move." "Don't fight back." "Freeze." "They have guns." "Hurry." "Faster." "Hurry." "Block the front." "Stop." "This is my room." "I am an American." "Get out of here." "Go inside." "Get the woman out of here." "Go away." "Shut up." "What do you want?" "The Imperial Army wants to inspect this room." "Please open the door." "Is it a Chinese animal?" "Yes." "I have seen it before." "Yours?" "I study in church school." "Give me?" "Thank you." "So many people." "Friend." "Friend." "Don't be afraid." "Don't be nervous." "The Imperial Army is actually here to borrow a few women to entertain them." "They will be returned in three days." "That's not right." "Women can't be borrowed." "Who are you?" "Mr. Rabe's secretary." "He's Mr Rabe's secretary." "Get out of my way." "We are partners." "That's my wife and her sister." "You must keep your promise." "Mr. Tang." "Don't pull me." "Mommy." "Mr. Tang." "Sister." "He went to the Safety Zone." "He saw women with curly hair and eyebrows lipsticks." "He knew they were prostitutes." "In Japan, any women with curly hair and lipstick are prostitutes?" "She asked if any women in Japan with curly hair and lipstick are prostitutes." "And if we refuse?" "If you refuse they will send troops to destroy the Safety Zone." "It only took three days to conquer Nanking." "It won't take an hour to destroy here." "You know their power." "You have no choice." "China lost the war." "Nanking is no more the capital." "Your people told him that there are soldiers with weapons." "That's a very big problem." "Today, one hundred of you" "will be leaving us." "I'm so sorry." "Today, one hundred women will be leaving us." "The Japanese have threatened us that if we don't hand over... " "hand over one hundred women, they will destroy the refugee camp." "The women will be required to... " "they will be required to give comfort to Japanese soldiers." "All Nanking women are here." "Great." "The Japanese said, you would be returned in three weeks." "In return of your sacrifice," "they will supply the camp with food, clothes and coal for the winter." "That means our children will make it through the winter." "I am so sorry." "Mr. Rabe." "I'll go." "Please come to the front." "I'll go." "I'll go." "That's enough." "Senior soldiers shall have priority." "Pay first before getting a condom to prevent VD infection." "5 dollars for Japanese girls, 2 for Chinese or Korean." "Each person shall have 15 minutes." "Rice?" "Give me a smile." "Smile." "Smile." "Yuriko, why are you here?" "Sorry." "Kadokawa." "Kadokawa." "Are you finished?" "Thank you." "You are too noisy." "But it feels good." "Sir, the food supply report." "Let's talk about it tomorrow." "Mr. Tomita, the pass... " "Not now." "You just need to sign it." "Is it Mr. Tomita?" "We've finally arrived." "Was it a rough trip?" "How can we visit Sun Yat-sen Mausoleum?" "Come." "Could we have a car?" "Sure." "He will organize it." "This is Mr. Tang's sister-in-law." "She also was taken." "We must..." "Please help us find her." "Mr. Tang's daughter was killed yesterday." "I'm very sorry." "I call you." "You answer me." "Sounds like echoes from the valley." "So happy." "You." "What?" "The sky is so blue." "Two young people." "Kadokawa." "She was so beautiful." "She's better off dead than living like this." "I want to go back to Japan." "Have you found May?" "May hasn't returned." "Mr. Rabe." "Mr. Rabe, you can't leave." "Goodbye, my friends." "Take care." "Mr. Rabe, your luggage." "Your car can't go beyond this place." "Take their luggage down." "We have someone move the luggage for you." "Of course." "Please can you get both my assistants through?" "I'll try." "Please." "Long time no see." "How are you?" "Your wife is very beautiful." "Mr. Rabe may only take one assistant and a family member with him." "I know." "Go." "I'll stay." "I'll look for May." "Go back." "Mr. Rabe can only take one assistant." "What are you doing?" "It's good to live." "I'll stay." "Let him go." "He says, he has made his decision." "Go." "Don't worry." "I'll keep on sending you my salary on time." "Stay safe." "I'll wait for you." "Please take care of my wife." "Halt." "Turn right." "Gun down." "Attention." "Aim." "Fire." "Reload." "Everyone dies in the end." "This is a beautiful place." "You know what?" "My wife is pregnant again." "My wife is pregnant again." "Aim." "Fire." "Stand straight." "Turn right." "Fall out." "All woman and children over here." "Woman and children stand over here." "Women get over here." "You too." "Listen carefully." "If you're a Chinese soldier, quickly step forward." "If you don't and we find you, you'll be executed." "If you give yourself up, the Imperial Army will guarantee your life." "We'll give you work, food, and even money." "Two cents per day." "If you don't surrender, once discovered, you'll be executed." "Next row." "Understood?" "Step forward." "Next row." "Step forward." "Next row." "Take him away." "You come here." "Kid, go away." "Next." "Faster." "Faster." "You." "Let me take a look." "Come with me." "Take him away." "Go." "Go." "Miss Jiang." "Save me." "Miss Jiang." "Get back to your spot." "Miss Jiang, you must save me." "Shut up." "Save me." "Miss Jiang, save me." "Take her back." "Shut up." "Stand back." "Please talk to the commander." "Just talk with him." "Let the foreigners come forward." "You are Chinese." "Don't push." "Miss Vautrin will work out a solution." "Don't worry." "They won't let them go." "We would not be afraid of the enemies." "I am not afraid." "We are strong." "Could you give them a moment?" "Sir, we ask you to listen to the pleas of these women, for their husbands, their sons." "They are civilians." "My staff member is on that truck." "He is not a soldier." "Please release them." "Mizukami, Furuta." "Miss Jiang." "Good news." "Those with family can go get them." "Understood." "But each one can save just one." "Just one." "Listen to me." "If your family is on those trucks, you can go and bring them back." "Miss Jiang." "Now go and bring them back." "Aren't there too many?" "Miss Jiang, save me." "Miss Jiang, save me." "Mr. Chen." "Mr. Chen." "My husband." "This one?" "Get down." "Miss Jiang." "Miss Jiang, save me." "Miss Jiang, thank you for saving me." "Thank you so much." "It's all right." "You'll be safe." "Get down." "Mom." "Dad is over there." "Dad." "You can only claim one person." "Please, I am begging you." "He is my man." "Go back." "Just one." "Dad." "Hurry." "Miss Jiang, please." "Miss Jiang, please save my father." "We have a family to raise." "Do you understand?" "Those who claim more than one will be shot." "Attention." "Each person can only claim one person." "Miss Jiang." "Xiaodou." "Don't push." "Xiaodou." "Kid, go away." "Xiaodou." "Sergeant." "That woman is very suspicious." "Miss Jiang." "Zhao." "My husband." "Get down." "Dad." "Thank you, Miss Jiang." "Thank you, Xiaodou." "Stop." "Come here." "Xiaodou." "You are a soldier." "Come here." "You again." "Mr. Rabe can't save you anymore." "Our people will be very pleased." "Take her away." "Shoot me." "Kadokawa." "Is Yuriko here?" "She followed the troops to the frontline and died there." "Help me build her a grave." "She was once my wife." "Yuriko was once my wife." "Stand up." "Go." "Stop." "Untie them." "Go." "Go." "Life is more difficult than death." "Kadokawa."

"(EARPIECE BUZZING)" "(BEEPING)" "MR BIG:" "Hello, Mai." "Why did you pick this freezing hole?" "Payback." "Remember that sauna you chose last time?" "You gonna hide back there all day?" "You wish." "Boy, you really hold a grudge." "What the hell is that?" "That'll be my victory." "That was close." "Hey, does your mother know you're wearing her coat?" "It was a gift." "Oh..." "Ouch." "(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)" "(MR BIG GROANING)" "I'm just going to lay here for a second." "You do that." "(BEEPING)" "Oh, God." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Shit!" "You got to be kidding me." "Excuse me, you wouldn't have happened to have seen my date, would you?" "No, but I could try to help you find her ifyou want." "You're late." "Sorry." "You were called in?" "Ten minutes ago." "And?" "I'm going on to the next round." "Mai, I'm so proud ofyou." "Let's skip the party." "No, no, no, no." "You said we were late." "Invitation card, please." "Excuse me?" "Sorry, Mr Yagami." "You don't need an invitation." "(CHUCKLES)" "I think we just lost camera seven." "Do you know where l was stationed before this?" "Afghanistan." "That's right, Afghanistan." "Million dollar surveillance equipment sent to the hills of Tora Bora, thousands of miles away from civilisation." "Anything I wanted was a phone call away." "So could somebody please tell me how I can be in the most technologically advanced country in the world and not get one decent surveillance camera?" "I don't..." "Don't all answer at once." "lori, I'm so glad you could finally make it." "I am so sorry we're late." "Chizuru, this is Mai Shiranui." "It's so wonderful to finally meet you." "I understand congratulations are in order." "Well, thank you very much." "You've come a long way this past year." "I can't remember when we've had a fighter quite so driven." "Well, now that you're here, I guess we can begin." "Truth be told, I'm a little nervous." "What's going on?" "Well, these artefacts have never been displayed like this." "Well then, why risk it?" "If anything should happen..." "Takao Iwata insisted." "He's in financial control of the tournament, and it's no secret he likes to show off." "I lust have to make sure the security we've put in place is adequate." "Does she know about our cameras?" "I don't think so, but..." "Thank you." "Wow." "Look at you." "The way they treat you, you'd think you were the King of Fighters." "I've been retired way too long." "I've been invited because I'm the last of the Yagami clan." "You never told me why you retired so early." "It's complicated." "Well, you're a complicated guy, lori." "I wouldn't expect it to be simple." "Another time." "Promise?" "l will." "Hey, that's not a promise." "I will." "Come on." "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Mr Iwata." "Please, follow me." "Come with me." "Come on." "Best seats in the house." "There they are, the treasures of the clans." "These make the King of Fighters tournament possible." "(PHONE RINGING)" "You need to take that?" "No, I don't." "You have my full attention tonight, I'm sorry." "Sit down." "Well, the secret of the treasures are meant to be kept within the clans." "Oh..." "But I can tell you a little." "Okay." "The Yasakani no Magatama was created by my ancestors almost 2,OOO years ago." "At that time, the necklace possessed the energy to unlock the door." "It's the key." "The Yata mirror is the door, and it was the Yata clan who first created the mirror." "Chizuru is the last descendant of that clan." "And do you remember what happens when you direct the energy of the necklace into the shield?" "You unlock the passageway to the other dimension." "Exactly." "But I still don't understand. I mean, you have a necklace and a mirror." "It's not logical." "How?" "Miss Logical, I forgot." "lori, we're using earpieces." "I mean, how does that even happen?" "Look, I know it doesn't look like much, but that's the point." "Chizuru's father was a genius, and he was able to consolidate the existing energy waves from these artefacts and condense them into the earpieces we're using today." "Now, at the push of a button, we're able to enter another dimension." "Wow." "I know, it's crazy." "Well, what about that third one?" "It's the Kusanagi sword, the most important of the treasures." "Only the sword can defeat the Orochi." "What is that?" "The Orochi is a spirit, or a demon, that was banished to the dimension 1,800 years ago." "Legend has it promising unlimited power to anyone that frees it, but he would have to possess all three treasures to do so." "What would happen if he was freed?" "That's a lesson for another day when you're ready." "Hopefully soon." "I'm looking to do more. I think I need to." "Go!" "Go!" "Go, go, go, go!" "Let's get a closer look, okay?" "(DOOR OPENS)" "What?" "Who is that?" "Come on." "Chizuru." "How are you, Rugal?" "Excuse me." "Peek-a-boo." "Go!" "Now!" "Get out now!" "Chizuru." "Chizuru?" "She's hurt bad." "Chizuru, look at me, look at me." "Where's Rugal?" "He's down." "Don't worry, relax." "The relics." "He wants back in." "The relics are..." "Call for help." "We need an ambulance!" "Call 911!" "lori!" "Come with me." "Remember what waits for us on the other side." "I can't, and I can't let you either." "Okay." "More for me then." "Wouldn't it be ironic if I was to kill you now with this sword?" "Come out with your hands up!" "God." "Stay down!" "Hands above your head!" "No, go, go!" "It's the other guy, it's the other guy." "Thanks for the lesson, Chizuru." "(GRUNTS)" "No way out." "He's trapped." "Okay, are there any windows?" "Wait!" "Back off!" "Back off!"

"Other side!" "Let us pass!" "Buntin, you landlord bastard!" "Her beautiful eyes Were a terrible curse" "Three days in his grave she ran off with his purse" "Lads!" "That bloody landlord Buntin's on his way in." "All hell's breakin' loose!" "Death to all landlords!" "I hope they kill him." "Would you look at that bastard, Joe?" "Landlord, you sinner!" "Between your lungs there's neither heart nor spirit... but the lump of your own swallowed money bag!" "He'll never get over that one, Joe." "You're a blight on this country that never belonged to you!" "Out!" "Out, you robber!" "Hey, Joe." "Come on." "Are you hurt, Joe?" "Danty, take me home to my sons." "Stand still, you ugly animal." "Whoa." "Whoa, you ugly" "Damn you!" "Aw, to hell with you!" " Colm!" " What?" "Will you look at our little brother?" "." "He can't keep hold of his ass." "Sweetheart of a child, slaving away." "Is it not enough, Joseph, you plowed all that muck down there?" "My ambition's a little grander than yours." " A couple of lazy cows." " Oh, ambition, is it?" "To break your back on land that isn't your own?" "It belongs to the landlord Christie." "Hold your face up, lad." "Now, come on." "Give us something we can aim at." "Just shag off, the pair of you." "There's a goat over there." " Go improve your love life." " Now, come on, Joseph honey." "Just a nosebleed's all we're asking." "I've no wish to fight you." "Try pummeling me, you arrogant son of a bitch!" "Get him, Pad" "Watch him!" "He's riled up now!" "Hold still, now." "Stand up, Joseph!" "Lads, your father's been damaged!" "You're here, Joe." "Da!" "Yeah, and he took on the enemy with his own bare hands- fifty of them, armed, and with hideous guns." "And your father- he walloped them all... one by one, the whole lot of them." "And I killed off a fair share myself, to tell the God's truth" "Quiet, Danty Duff, for once." "Yeah, well... humble as I am, I'll keep that part of the story for another time." "How are you feeling now, Da?" "My soul is departing from me, Joseph." " Don't you talk that way." " I'll talk anyway I please." " I'm dying, I tell you!" " Well, you can't die." " We need you here, Da." " Need me?" "What for?" "Her beautiful eyes Were a terrible curse" "God bless your soul." "Poor Joe Donelly." "We'd be as well to sell off a thing or two now that the old man's gone." "Is that any way to keen over the death of our father?" "." "Misery's a personal matter, Joseph." "We don't need any instruction." "Thanks." "Sure, he's left us with a huge debt of rent on the land." "We'll begin to settle our debt when we harvest the land." "Grow the potatoes and pick them yourself, Joseph, you ambitious boy!" " You son of a" " Joseph!" "Jesus and the saints preserve us!" "We thought you died, Da." "I did, son." "I passed away." "But you're talking to us, Da." "And your eyes- they're looking about." "I was as dead as a stone, I tell you." "Now shut your mouth before I die again." "Well, I am" "Come here!" "I've come back to tell you something." "You're an especially odd boy." "You came back from the dead to tell me that I'm odd?" "You have all kinds of oddities... clattering around in your brain." "So had I when I was as young as you." "But dreams, my boy, in this poor corner of the world... end up in a glass of ale." "No." "Not my dreams, Da." "I'll work my own land someday." "Without land, a man is nothing." "That's it." "Yeah." "Land is a man's very own soul." "A miracle- that's what you're looking for." "And by God, if you manage it... your old da will be smiling down on you... from heaven above." "Her beautiful eyes" "Were a terrible" "God bless your soul, Joe Donelly... for the second time." "God rest your soul, Da." "Say nothing to them, lads." "This country's ours." "They don't exist." "What dead man is this?" "You needn't answer, but hear these words." "I represent Mr. Daniel Christie, who by right of law... owns this land and all improvements upon it." "Rent on this property has not been paid." "The warning's been given thrice." "Keep walking, lads." "Our father's being buried today." "Bastards are burning our house!" "That will do." "Where is this landlord Christie?" "I want justice for what he's done." "There's nothing I like better... than the glow of murder in a young fellow's eyes." "It has a terrible go of rust on it." "I've only killed chickens and pigs till now." "He's a pig and a chicken in one, the same Daniel Christie." "Here, now." "Give him a proper taste of death." "Yeah." "Landlords." "Captain Moonlight." "Don't pretend you know what Captain Moonlight means, 'cause you don't." "It's the code, the rebel code." "Now that you've heard it, keep it to yourself." "Don't breathe it to a living soul." "Do you understand?" "Captain Moonlight, Joseph." "Off to kill your landlord, eh?" "Blow the bastard's head off!" "Don't be afraid to kill him." "Assassinate the bastard!" "It was too good to be kept a secret." "Do you know which end of the gun to point at the gentleman?" "He'll shoot himself in the balls, I'll wager... and come hobbling home in tears." "Good-bye, Colm." "Good-bye, Paddy." "Good-bye, Joseph." "We'll see you at your wake." "God bless all in this house." "God bless you, son." "Down from the north, are you?" "Or perhaps the east?" "West of here, maybe?" "South." "I prefer to keep my business to myself, if you please." "Very wise." "God bless you, everyone." "Ah, bless you, sir." " Whiskey for everyone!" " Oh, great!" "How are you, sir, tonight?" "Oppressed." "That's the word for me." "I live in a house that's stuffy and dull... and worse, I've a wife who forbids me to drink." " God help you." " I crave adventure, boys." "If I had wings, I'd fly to the stars." "Your good health, sir." "Good health, Mr. Christie." "Liven up, lad." "You're too young to be brooding in your ale." "What places you in this small chapter of the world?" "He's keeping himself to himself, that one." "Oh, then it's one of two things:" "enterprise or love." "It isn't love." "Rest assured of that." "Then you're a man of business... like myself." "But I warn you... it's brought me nothing but misery." "I'm lost in a fog of commerce and compromise." "I'd trade it all away for 15 minutes of freedom." "Freedom is a rare thing in these parts." "It is." " It is, indeed." " Oh, indeed it is." "To a long and happy life..." "Mr. Christie." "God bless you, lad." "Why should I expire" "For the fire of any eye" "Though foolish men you slay" "For thee I shall not die" "Your beauty and your name" "Will never conquer me" "What have I done" "Hello... souls of the departed... what a disappointment I must seem to you all." "Oh, no." "Here we are- home." "I recognize these hedges by their dullness." "O Woman, high of fame" "Though men have died for thee" "This is a difficult murder." "Good evening, Mr. Christie." "Take the horse." "Shannon, I saw you galloping in the fields." "Dignity, Shannon, Dignity." "A lady must always be civilized, even when she rides." "No one saw me riding, Mother." " I saw you!" " Yes, Mother." ""A lady must always be civilized."" "She never leaves us alone, does she?" "No, she doesn't." "There." "Go on." "Good girl." "Is somebody there?" "Stay right where you are." "Don't flutter an eyelid or I'll stab you." "I'll stab you through." "Father!" "Jesus!" "Father, help!" "I've been all but raped and slaughtered!" " What is it?" " In the stables!" " What's the fuss about?" " It's the devil himself!" " Mr. Daniel Christie!" " Oh, my God!" "Look!" "Yes?" "I'm Joseph Donelly... of the family Donelly that you pushed off our land." "What in the name of God are you talking about?" "Prepare to pay for your crimes." "Good Lord Jesus!" "Captain Moonlight." "Shannon, come back!" "Quickly, find Mr. Chase and bring him here." "Go!" "Shannon, come inside." "Shannon, turn around." "Look how black his fingers are, Mother." "Never mind his fingers." "He's a lowborn blather skite of filth." "If he's so worthless, then why are you bothering to dress his wounds?" "Our duty is to restore him to full health... so he can hear his own neck crack when he dangles from the hangman's noose." "Turn away, Shannon, and protect the innocence of your eyes." "Of all the days to intrude upon our peaceful life." "The ladies are coming by this afternoon for tea." "I'm feeling very sick all of a sudden." "Mind yourself, Shannon." "Those ladies are models of manners and behavior." "There." " Nothing happened!" " Nothing happened, indeed." "A poor, misguided robin has broken a windowpane." "What a manufactured lie." "I was merely dusting the liquor cabinet." "As if a bottle in your vicinity stood long enough to gather dust." "Now, go upstairs." "I can manage in here." "Oh, look at what you've done." "Mary, Mary, Mary Nell" "Do you hear your Wedding bell" "Will he love you, Mary Nell" "Time and time alone will tell" "You're having a dream." "This isn't really happening." "I want my land!" "What became of the man I married?" "Some other man's replaced him and goes about with his name." "A murderous insurgent under your own roof!" "How horrible!" "He's as ugly as sin... and the most vicious creature I've ever set eyes upon." "Did you get a look at him, Shannon?" "A peek." "Shannon, what is your collar doing?" " It's choking me." " Well, do it up." "Better to choke than to be vulgar." "I hear a noise." "Let us hope it's Stephen Chase." "We've come for your prisoner, Mr. Christie." "Good afternoon, Mrs. Christie." "Good afternoon, ladies." "Speak of the sun and we see its rays." "Oh, my goodness, we were so frightened." "Keep calm." "You're safe and protected." "Go back to your sinful card playing." "Hello, Shannon." "Hello, Stephen." "My, how handsome he is." "He's a brilliant young man." "He was educated at Trinity." "Of course." "He manages all my husband's business affairs." "Your daughter is certainly a very lucky girl." "Yes, indeed." "Shannon, the ladies and I would like you to play the piano." "I beg your pardon?" "Come play something, Shannon." "Something fanciful and nice." "She plays beautifully." "Good gracious, child." " It's band music, Mother." " "Band music"?" "It's very modern." "It's from America." "Shannon, stay back." "Careful, boy." "Your life's worth little as it is." "You're the bastard that burned my father's house." "I've burned many houses in the line of duty." "Am I meant to remember yours?" "Maybe you'll remember this." "Pistols, tomorrow at dawn." "Get him upstairs!" "Go on." "Come, ladies." "Let us resume our pleasantries in the parlor." "Come, dear." "You, too, Shannon." "What's buzzing around inside that head of yours, my little monkey?" "The day's been disrupted, Father." "Heaven forbid." "I'm running away." "Excuse me." "There's something in here I need." "Perhaps you're wondering why I'm running away." "Well, I'll tell you." "I'm running away because I'm modern." "I'm modern, and I'm going to a modern place." "You're not the only one who's trapped." "If I stay here, my mother will turn me into one of her stuffy old friends." "No, thank you." "I'm a little more interesting than that." "I'm very smart, and I'm very modern." "That's all you need to know about me." "Boy, here!" "Have a look at this." "Look." "You can't read, can you?" "How pathetic." ""Land," it says." ""Land"?" ""Wanted:" "strong, healthy men and women." "Every resident of the United States is entitled to 160 acres of land."" "They've got so much of it they give it away for free." "No land is given away... in any part of the world." "In America it is... and I'm going there." "I'm going to have a place of my own." "And I will have horses on it, and I will raise them... and I will ride them any way I please." "What do you need more land for?" "You own half of Ireland as it is!" "You took it, your people did!" "I didn't take it." "You just live here all fancied up on rent... and broken backs." "Boy, you said you wanted land." "If that's what you want, then come with me." "Great ships sail out of Dublin and Liverpool." "But a woman dare not travel alone." "You're brave." "You shoot men, you step on their necks." "When I saw that, I realized you could be very useful to me." " Useful, could I?" " Yes!" "You could be my serving boy." "Oh, I see." "I could polish your boots for you." "They will need a polish now and then." "Aye, they would." "And I could make you a cup of tea." "When teatime calls for it, yes." "I'll throw the tea in your face and I'll piss on your boots before I serve you!" "Get out!" " I'll pay you threepence a day." " Get out!" "I've got an appointment in the morning, and I'm going to honor it." "Ha!" "You'll never win this duel with Stephen." "We've all seen you handle a gun." "Boy, I am giving you your freedom!" "I'm not going to a distant world." "I'm of Ireland, and I'll stay in Ireland till I die." "That's in about five hours." "These weapons belonged to my father's father." "His father's father was an ass." "I've asked to serve as your second in this barbarism." "I appreciate that, sir." "Choose one of those things." "You had a good breakfast this morning, did you?" " It was grand, sir." "Thank you." " Good." "Count away 15 paces." " One, two." " This way, son." " Three, four" " Ah, fog." "My life is one long mollifying fog." "The land I hold, I inherited." "It manages itself with a foggy logic of its own." "Son, I was up thinking about you all night long." "I knew nothing of your family or their eviction." "I'm sorry for their pain." "I understand why you came to murder me, and I don't blame you for it at all." "Fifteen!" "Turn, each man, and fire!" "I can't see anything!" "I can." "Boy!" "Come away from there!" "Shannon, get out of the way!" " Assess your stupidity, lad." " Get away from me, woman!" "As you wish." " Wait!" " Shannon!" "Shannon, don't!" "Good-bye, Stephen." ""Good-bye"?" "Don't shoot!" "I saved your neck." "You remember that." "Afternoon." " Thank you, boy." " Don't call me "boy."" "Sugar." "Two." "You might display some gratitude considering I paid for your passage." "I paid, let me remind you." "Oh, good afternoon." "Forgive me if I'm intruding, but I wonder... if you'd enjoy a gentle stroll around the deck." "She's drinking her tea now." "There's no need to state the obvious, boy." "My name's McGuire, from Boston, Massachusetts." "Oh, you're American." "Irish born." "I went back for personal reasons." "A stroll would be delightful, Mr. McGuire." "Parasol." "In my imagination, America is a wonderfully modern place." " Am I right?" " Modern as modern can be." "The people, the culture, the industry." " What about the land?" " I beg your pardon?" "This girl's got it in her head that they're giving land away for free." "That's true." "Oklahoma territory." "The west's opening up." " I told you, boy." " Can't be good land." "It's the finest in the world." "Seeds flourish in it." "The cattle that grow upon it are fat as elephants." "How do you get it, Mr. McGuire?" "Is it there when you step off the boat?" "Oh, no." "You have to travel 1,000 miles or so." "When you get there, you'll have to run for the land in a race." "A race?" "Don't lose time in Boston." "As soon as you can, purchase horses, a wagon and supplies." "Have I upset you?" "I didn't expect it to be so complicated." "We're very fortunate." "Any difficulty can be overcome with money." "Excuse me." "I'd like to speak with Mr. McGuire alone." "Mr. McGuire, I do have money... but it's in the form of spoons." " Spoons?" " Ancient spoons made of silver." "I'd planned to sell them when I arrived in Boston." "Well, I can recommend a couple of shops that will treat you honestly." "Oh, I'm very much obliged to you, sir." " Pleasure's mine." " Thank you." "May I ask what are you doing sitting at my table?" "I'm eating your chocolate cake." "I see." "And what have you done with my father's necktie?" "I flung it into the sea." "It was gagging my throat." "You're just upset because everything I've told you is turning out to be true." ""Cows as fat as elephants."" "I know what that man's after." "I think you should cover your ankles." "America." "I'm here." "I've made it." "I've arrived, Joseph." "I beg your pardon." "United States of America flags!" "You're an American today!" "Your great friend Mr. McGuire has vanished." "You want American dollars?" "Oh, there he is!" "Mr. McGuire!" "Over here!" "Ah, there you are." "Hey, mister, you Irish?" "I can take you to the ward boss." "Need work?" "Need lodging?" "There are people who hate the Irish." "You can't get nothing without the ward boss." "He's the biggest man in Boston." "Go fleece somebody else, boy." "I know the games of these shysters." "Come on, Miss Christie." "I'll find you a suitable hotel." "Cab!" "Thank goodness for Mr. McGuire." "Take Miss Christie here to a decent hotel." "Well, you've certainly upheld your end of the bargain." "Good luck, Shannon." "Good luck, Joseph." "Need jobs, need lodgings?" "If you're Irish, I'll take you to the ward boss." "Hey, McGuire!" " Yes?" " Welcome back." "Oh, my God!" "My spoons!" "They're taking my spoons!" "Joseph, Mr. McGuire stole my spoons!" "No, please, they're mine." "He stole them from me." "That dead man stole my spoons." "My bag!" "They're taking everything!" "Now I have nothing." "Come away, Shannon." "We have to go." "I have nothing now." "I have no money." "God is punishing me, Joseph." "I stole those spoons from my mother the morning I ran away." "Hey, you!" "Stand still!" " I didn't do nothing!" " Who's this man, the ward boss?" "That's him there, fighting in the fancy clothes." "Mike Kelly, his name is." " I'll take it." " Come on!" "Shannon, you should stand back over there." "Don't shield me, Joseph." "It's only a boxing match." "What?" "Sorry, Mike." "Mike isn't happy when he loses." "You distracted me." "You weren't concentrating." "A scrappy Connemara man, huh?" "Fresh off the boat." "Follow me." "Not you, woman." "You just cost me part of a tooth." " If he gets to go, then I get to go." " I'm Mike Kelly!" "Who is this bit of a snit anyway?" "Your wife?" " Certainly not." " Then who the hell are you, lass?" " She's..." " I'm- my sister." " Tell me she isn't a pain in the ass." " Settle your bets!" ""Sister"?" "Our blood's not even the same temperature." "These people are my kind of people." "And my kind doesn't like your kind." "In fact, they hate everything about you." "Now... for some reason or other I'm willing to lie for you." "Or we could tell them you're a rich Protestant." "Might be sporting." "No, Joseph." "My brother." "Good." " What do you call yourself?" "." " Joseph Donelly." "Well, Donelly, let's put you on the road to citizenship." "We'll get you working and get you voting when the time comes." "See how the system works here, lad?" "Stop it!" " Leave me alone!" " 'twas a lady who took to the street" " Her name was Biddy McMack" " Get away or I'll claw your eyes out!" "She makes a handsome living out of laying on her back" " I said leave me alone!" " Excuse me, Mr. Kelly." "I'm not a wealthy man" "But give me a night of paradise I'll pay you what I can" "Get away!" "I'll ask you to leave this lady alone." "Go ahead and ask." "I've no wish to fight you." "He's no wish to fight me." "I'll take him." "No, he's mine." "He's mine alone." "Kill him, Joseph!" "Well, now." "You knocked the piss out of the man who knocked the piss out of me." "I'm not sure how I feel about that." " Dermody." " Yes, sir, Mr. Kelly." "Time to make the rounds." "We'll take this scrapper and the girl... and lodge them at Molly Kay's." " Grab the luggage." " Yes, sir." "Come on." "Hey, Pete." "Get a match going these fellows can bet on." "I'll be back." "Hey, Mike, how are you doing?" "All depends, huh?" "Good to see you lads." " This is it." "Here we are." " Good day to you, Mr. Kelly!" " Molly!" " It's as unpleasant for me as for you." "Got a brother and sister here, Molly, need a room." "You're in luck." "We had a suicide just this morning." " Hello, Bridget." "How are you?" " Hello, Mike." "Ah, yes." "Any gentlemen up here, girls?" "No, not here, Mike." " Make an announcement, Dermody." " Ward boss!" " I'd give you another year." " You're not campaigning, Mike." "Relax, Molly." "Politics is more important to these men than sex." "And I'm the Virgin Mary." " God forgive you, Molly." " Not likely, Mike." "Come on." "Is that Jimmy Dunne I see?" "I was chatting with your wife today." "Don't tell my wife, Mike." "And here's the bath, but don't linger in it too long." "It's the only one." "Gentlemen, button up your trousers." "This is your room here." "Ours?" "You're not suggesting that we share this room, I hope." "I don't care what you do in it... as long as you pay me a dollar a week." "There must be some mistake." "We need two rooms." " I've only got the one." " That's not good enough." " Mike, what have you sent me here?" " You're not listening to me." "The room is fine, and we'll take it gratefully." "As you know, election time is coming up" "Your sister was spoilt, I'd say." "Here for your support." "I'm sure you've noticed all these Italians taking Irish jobs." "No Italians are gonna run this town as long as Mike Kelly's in charge." "Shannon, are you awake?" "No, I'm sound asleep." "I think I like America." " Do you, now?" " Aye." "We've only been here a day." "Look at the welcome we've got." "Would you like a room?" "Here you go." "Would you like a job?" "Why, here you go." "How about some land?" "Well, get a horse, and help yourself." "So, now you believe me about the land, do you?" "If they're throwing it away, I wouldn't mind a piece of it." "Maybe this is my destiny." "On his deathbed, my father told me he'd be watching me from up above." "I wonder now if his spirit might be near, guiding me along." "If he bumps into Mr. McGuire up there, tell him I want my spoons back." "Imagine me..." "Joseph Donelly, standing on my own plot of land." "What would I plant, I wonder?" "." "Oats, corn, potatoes" "Oh, God, no, not potatoes." "Maybe wheat." "Wheat." "Oh, Shannon..." "I'm dreaming of it now." "Great fields of wheat as far as the eye can see." "Oklahoma land was my idea, you blathering fool!" ""Maybe this is my destiny."" "If it weren't for me, farm boy, you wouldn't even be here!" "Well, if it weren't for me, Miss High and Mighty... you'd have died outside in the street." "Give me back my pillow." "Not in a hundred years." "This book is irritating me." "Do you actually think you're fooling me, Daniel?" "Would you prefer I proclaim my independence and drink in the open?" "I like the system we've got." "How could she be so cruel?" "Not to send us any word." "She's in America, Nora." "She's been writing to me for some time now." "You hid these from me?" "At Shannon's request." "Read them now... though they may not bring you comfort." " Death to the landlord!" " Burn the house to the ground!" "Burn it down!" "Captain Moonlight!" "Get out of the house, Nora!" " Oh, the letters!" " Leave the letters alone, Nora!" "Burn down every last one of them!" "Come with me." "Stephen!" "We're over here!" "Quickly." "This way." "All of your life, collected and destroyed." "I'm truly sorry for your loss." "Does this mean we're finished?" "Are we impoverished now?" "No, sir." "You still have your land and your holdings." "This is no longer the Ireland of my birth." "Our daughter's fallen into perilous ruin, Daniel." " We must go to her now." " Shannon?" "She's" "She's been in Boston these many months." "Then we shall find her there." "You over there, keep working." "If you don't work, you don't get paid." "Get those chickens plucked." "Get to work." "I think the prettiest girl in this factory... one with the prettiest eyes and the prettiest red hair is Joseph's sister." "If you don't mind my saying so." "You can say what you like, lad." "But I warn you, that redhead has a bite that stings." "Get to work." "Get your filthy hands off me, you ugly animal." "That'll cost you a day's wage." "Go ahead." "Insult me again." "Pig." "There goes tomorrow." "Done?" "Take Friday as well, you spineless little fraction of a man." "Bite, lads." "Bite." "What are you looking at?" "I'm just trying to figure out what you're doing there." "It's obvious what I'm doing." "I'm cleaning my clothes." "I see." "Do you everwonder why it takes you so long?" "My clothes, if you notice, if you look about... are washed and hung- done." "Your talent astounds me, Joseph." "Move over." "Move over." "If you want to clean your clothes, you have to get your hands wet." "First, you place the board like so." "You take the soap in your right hand, the clothes in the left." "Then you brush the soap across the clothes twice." "Like so." "Then you plunge and scrub." "You plunge and scrub." "And plunge and scrub and lift." "And if it's still not clean, well, then you go again." "You plunge and scrub." "You keep on plunging and scrubbing... till all your plunging and scrubbing is done." "Thirty, forty... forty-five- forty-five, fifty." "You could be a banker, Joseph, with your ability to count." "Oh, a compliment." "Thank you, Shannon." "Don't suppose you've calculated what the journey will cost." "If I barter, I can get a buckboard for under 25." "It's the harness that's costly." "Bit, frame" "Frame, collar, reins." "Oh." "Very impressive." "How much have you saved?" "Are you still praying you'll make it to the Oklahoma land race?" " I'll get there." " Ha!" "What a corker." "You're a corker, Shannon." "Why don't you go back home to Ireland?" "Write to your parents for money." "They'll forgive you for your petty foolishness." "America may not be exactly what I thought it would be, but... if I went back to Ireland, I wouldn't" "What?" "Wouldn't what?" "I said I'll get there, and I'll get there- by myself." "Well, you need supplies." " Of course." "Food, clothes" " Ammunition, gun." "Whenever I think of guns, I remember Stephen Chase." "You're lucky to be rid of that piss-headed snob." "Oh, he wasn't so bad." "You didn't know him as well as I did." "I knew him well enough." "Me, he adored." "He worshiped me." "There wasn't a puddle of mud he didn't lay his coat upon... for me to walk across." " Are you facing east?" " Aye." "Facing east." "All right." "Almost ready." "Thanks be to jesus." "Light." "I'm in." "Good night, Shannon." "What?" "Am I beautiful at all?" "I've never seen anything like you in all my living life." "Good." "Let's have another boxing match." "We need another challenger." "This man has not been defeated tonight." "Will anyone box him?" "Any challengers to- Oh, sir, you can beat him." " You've got the face of a winner." " I'll fight him." "No!" "No, no, no, no!" "Joseph, there's rules in this club." "Toe the line and all that." "You got to wait until I signal." "Toe the line, gentlemen." "No kicking, no biting, no gouging." " Fight me here, farmer!" " Put your foot on the line." " Right." " Toe the line." "Toe the line." " Get away." " Put your toe on the line." " Come on." "You're yellow!" " Come on!" "Go on, scrapper!" "Stop it." "You've won, Joseph." "Stop it." "What a fight!" "I knew you had it in you." "Girls, get up the burly-cue." " What do you call yourself again?" " Joseph." "Joseph Donelly." "That's right." "You clobbered that fella's brains out, lad." "I discovered this fella fresh off the boat." "Gordon, get this scrapper something to smoke." "Who's your boy there, Kelly?" "A new fangled style of fighting he's got there." "He's slippery, all right." "Shake hands with Mr. D'Arcy Bourke, member of the city council." "I'll shake your hand, Mr. Bourke, but I'm not in a friendly mood." "I came here to fight." "There's fight left in me yet." "He's a lively one, Kelly." "Would you box an Italian if I scared one up?" "I'll box any man you put in front of me." "Mike!" "Mike!" "Mike!" "Jesus Christ, Dermody." "When's your voice gonna change?" " We've got another pug." " Bring him on." "And I'll put money on you." "Place your bets, gentlemen." "The boy's got an appetite, Kelly." "Toe the line, gentlemen." "It's nothing!" "I'm feeling grand tonight." "Steady now, you rogue." " What happened?" " Help me get him into bed." "Joseph, you're covered in blood." "What happened to you?" "He's been prize fighting, but he'll survive." "He had a charge of gunpowder in him that needed to go off." "And who might you be?" "I'm Grace." "I work at the social club." "I did well tonight, didn't I?" "You beat 'em all." "But don't talk now." "Get some sleep." "I need to talk to you." "You're his sister, right?" "What sort of man is he?" "I mean, besides tough and handsome as the devil?" "Well, he's extremely moody." "Ah." "I believe that." "Full of spit, isn't he?" "And passion?" "No." "Not really, no." "He's fairly dull." "Dull?" "Well, I don't know what sort of men you're used to... but he's anything but dull." "And the build on him" "Me and the girls got swollen eyes from gawking at his bum." "Yes, well, good-bye, Grace." " Would you tell him I" " Nice to meet you." " I just want to tell him" " Good night, Grace." " That was Grace." " So she said." "She dances in the burly-cue." "Yes, well, never mind her now." "Just lay there." "No, no." "Joseph, lie still." "Lie still." "Look in my boot down there." " Four dollars." " I won it." "That's more than plucking chickens in a month." "I'll have my horse and buggy money before the winter comes... and it won't be from plucking chickens." "There are other ways to get to Oklahoma, Joseph." "You should have heard them, Shannon... cheering me on." "It was grand." "So grand." "Toe the line, gentlemen!" "Too slow!" "You come to the body." "You come to the face." "And you move out of the way." "When he's coming around, you get out of the way." "They just stand there." "Look at them." "Come on!" "Come on, now!" " Well, hello there, Joseph." " Hello, Cara." "All done up like a gentleman." " I hardly recognize him." " How do you do, ladies?" "He's a handsome catch, that Joseph Donelly is." "If he can keep his knuckles up all night, imagine what his willy can do." "Shoes." "Secondhand shoes, madam." "Would you look at that!" "Oh, look at the sleeves all billowed out." "It's from Paris, France, it says." "So beautiful and modern." "Excuse me." "Well, excuse me." "Even her poodle's putting on airs." "Look, Shannon." "There's your famous brother." "Good grief." "He's bought himself another hat." " See you tomorrow." " Bye, Olive." " Hello, Shannon." " Hello, Joseph." "Well, what do you think?" "Do you like it?" "Like my hat?" "No, not at all." "I'll get some other opinions." " Do you like my hat?" " It's a fine hat." " And a fine fight last night." " Glad you enjoyed it, Connor." "So I left her there, pulling up her knickers." "Hold on a second." "Here he comes." "Aye, there's my boy, looking fit and dandy." " How are you, scrapper?" "." " Never better, Mike." " Hello, lads." " Mr. Bourke would like a word with you." "Joseph Donelly, still undefeated." " He's a rascal of a holy terror." " That he is." "That's a long-legged piece of strawberry tart." " Mind your mouth, Mr. Bourke." " You don't talk to Mr. Bourke that way." "Let it go, Kelly." "This is business, and the boy's our stock in trade." "Now listen to me, lad." "There's a man I want you to box." "He's a goddamn Italian, and I want you to spill his blood." "I'll box and I'll win." "But you boys don't own me, Mr. Bourke." "I box for myself, alone." "What do you think you're doing, pissing against the wind?" "D'Arcy Bourke is a powerful man in Boston, whose connections I need." "I'm not gonna kiss the back of his trousers just 'cause the rest of you do." "You like your suit?" "Well, do you?" "You like having a roof over your head?" "I'm your bread and butter, lad." "Cross me, and you're nothing- nothing but an ignorant mick." "You do what you're told or I'll throw you out on the street... and every door you'll knock on will be slammed in your face." "Do you understand?" "Yeah." "Good." "It's gonna be a grand fight, Mr. Bourke." "Good." "That's what I like to hear." "I'm drunk, Joseph!" "How can you be drunk?" "You just left my sight." "She's working her way through a jigger of rye." "When I finish it, I may or may not have another one." "Well, Shannon, you came to America to be modern." "I'm glad everything's working out." " You have changed, Mr. Donelly." " Improved, you mean." "No." "Changed." "Look at all those silly hats." "You'll never get to Oklahoma." "You've spent all your money." "At the rate I'm going, they'll bring the land to me." "You have turned into a snob." "Excuse me, drunkard." " Hello, Grace." " Hello, Joseph." "Will I be seeing you in church tomorrow morn?" "Sounds divine and holy, Grace." "We can share a pew, me and you." " Toodle-oo." " Same to you." "She's got an awfully large chest to be going to church." "Shannon, all chests are equal in the eyes of the Lord." "She goes into the confession box, she'll never come out, the little tramp." "Grace isn't a tramp." "She's a dancer in the burly-cue." "That isn't dancing." "That's kicking her knickers up." "I suspect if you asked her to, she'd kick her knickers off." " Well, maybe she would." " Has she?" "Let me see." "I'm trying to remember." "Well, think hard, if there's any brain left in your head." "Look at you." "They're making a fool of you, the ward boss and his friends." " They respect me." " They do not." "They don't respect you." " Enough." " You're money in their pockets..." " and nothing more, Joseph." " I said, that's enough, Shannon." "You let them pickle you like a piece of pork." " They're just using you." " I said that's enough out of you!" "No!" "Put me down!" "Tell me- Tell me you like my hat." "You're not wearing a hat." " Say it." "Say you like my hat." " You're not wearing a hat." "Say it!" "Why can't you say it, Shannon?" "Why can't you say you like my hat?" "Why can't you say you like my suit?" "I've earned it." "I've done well." "Don't touch me, Joseph." "Why don't you go fondle that slut with the runaway tits?" "If she isn't stuffing her face with pie." "You're jealous of me." "I make more money than you, and you're jealous." "I can make money as fast as you can." "Just watch me, scrapper!" "Why don't you shag her and get it over with?" "She's my sister." "And I'm your mother." "Every time your gentleman leaves, I want you to tidy your room." " Molly." " I don't want to say that again." " Mike Kelly's looking for you." " Where's Shannon?" " Tonight's the fight- the big fight." " She didn't come home from work." " The club is crawling with Eye-ties." " Have you seen her?" "." " No, I haven't." " She's there." "Shannon is there." "Where?" " Show 'em how it's done, lad." " There's the lad!" "Joseph, for Ireland!" "Dago pigs!" "You're all the same!" "We're gonna wipe up the floor with you!" "Shannon, stop this!" " Where is your dignity woman?" " You mind your business, Joseph." "You get your brains smashed in every night." "What's the difference?" " There's a world of difference." " Come on, Donelly." "These Eye-ties are tearing the place apart." " Forget it." " Get in there and box." " I've got $100 bet on you tonight." " Kiss it good-bye, Mr. Bourke." "I'll make it 200 and I'll split the winnings with you." "Two hundred dollars, Joseph!" " What?" " Did you not hear me?" "I said I'll split the winnings with you." " No!" " Joseph." " Take it." " Take it?" " I thought you didn't want me to fight." " But it's so much money." "You've boxed for nickels before." "This is a fortune!" "I'll match that offer." "Don't let your stubborn pride get in the way." "You'll have it- You'll have Oklahoma." "You'll never have to fight for them again." "This'll get us out of here." "Us?" "Well, you." "I mean you." "That's more like it." "That's a lad!" "Right, Joseph, damage the dago." "You hear me?" "Come on, keep back, will you?" "Get back." "Come on!" "Fetch Mr. Bourke to the stage." "Get back." "This is a fight to the finish, gentlemen." "Side betting is allowed, and a knockdown terminates a round." "Contest grudge, gentlemen." "Come on, scrapper!" "Keep your left up!" "Yes!" "Go!" "Dirty dago bastard!" "Kelly, I smell victory." "I'd enjoy it even more with a little strawberry tart." "Mr. Bourke would like some company." "I'm not especially attracted to Mr. Bourke." "You came to me for help." "Let's show some manners." "Come to scratch!" "What the hell's he doing?" " What are you doing?" " Get your hands offher!" "There's too much money at stake here." " Filthy pig!" " Get back to scratch!" "Do you want to forfeit?" " Shannon!" " Let him go!" "You're losing me money, you coward!" "Get back in there and fight!" "You're gonna forfeit!" "Go on, Joe!" "Get up, Joe!" " No!" " Get up, Joseph!" "Get up!" " Come on, Joseph!" " Come on, get up!" "Get up!" "Get up!" "I've bet more money than you've got!" "Get up!" " Get up!" " He's out!" "You, get out!" "Shut your mouth!" "Get this loser out of my club." ""Social Club Boxing Tonight Ireland Forever"" "Did you tell them we're in Jefferson Court?" "Number Six Jefferson Court." " Six Jefferson Court." " Make sure they hear you." " In the South End." " Her family has come from Ireland." "They're here in Boston." "They're offering a reward." "Have you seen a girl like that?" "Find her." "Do your job." "Must I do everything for you?" "We found her and here she is, right over here." "We'll never get anything out of these people." " They're drunks." " You seen the girl?" "Her family is in Jefferson Court." "Number Six Jefferson Court." "Joseph, what happened to you?" "Do come in, scrapper." "That's our money." "We earned it." "There isn't a penny here doesn't originate with me." "Don't touch her!" "You're done, scrapper." "You won't work here, box here, nothing here." "You coppers beat it." "Get him up." "Too bad." "But I saw it coming... the first time you walked in off the boat." "No!" "Leave him!" "Molly Kay." "These two are banished." "You shelter them even a night, I'll shut this whorehouse down." "Come on." "It's too cold, Joseph." " Hey!" " Do you need help, sir?" "." " Get out of here." " We haven't eaten for three days." " I'll work for food." " I don't hire Irish." "For the love of God, we haven't eaten for three days." "I said I don't hire Irish." "Now, get out of here!" "We can't keep wandering like this." "I know." "It's been so long." "Too many days." "We can't keep doing this." "I think this house is empty." "Look." " A tree." " Look!" "Food!" "There's food here." "Joseph, look at us." "I never thought it would turn out like this." "And we know there's sweeter land." "Sit down." "Sit down at this beautiful table." "No." "We can't." "We're burglars." "Please." "Please." "I want you to pretend." "Sit down." "I'll serve you." "Tonight I want you to dine." "No, Joseph." "Don't serve me." "Just sit down." "Sit down with me." "Let's pretend... that this house is ours." "That you're my husband... and I'm your wife." "Sit down." "Did you ever wonder what that land you dreamed of looked like?" " Aye." " Mine" "Mine was a green pasture with tall grass... that rolled just a little bit." "Mine had a stream running through it." "Perhaps some trees." "Rich, dark soil." "No rocks to pick out of the ground." "Green pasture and a stream." "They would complement each other, no?" "They would." "The one, in fact... depends upon the other." "Pretend... you love me." "I'll pretend I love you." "I'll pretend I love you too." " What was that?" " Who's there?" "Get the hell out of my house!" "Police!" "Police!" "Get the police!" "Help!" "This girl needs help!" "Will you let us in?" "This" "Is this the Christies'?" "Just let us in." " Quickly, fetch a doctor." " Yes, sir." "Step aside." "You'll infect her with your filthy hands." "What did you expect?" "That you could climb to her station?" " Gunshot!" " Aye." "God, look at her." " Will she be all right?" " She will now." "The wound is in the shoulder." "I have to clean it." "Shannon, I" "You're safe now... in this house." "You're gonna be fine." "Take care of her." "Mr. Christie, here's the doctor." " Something terrible has happened." " What is it, Doctor?" "." " Your daughter, Mr. Christie." " Shannon?" "She's here?" "What's happened to her?" "." "All right, she's all clear!" "Let's get the mud cleaned out." "Hey, mick, after you drop that tile, let's get after these rocks." "Come on!" "Let's get some goddamn work done here." "Fill up that wheel barrow." "Come on, fill it up." "Fill it up." "Move it!" "Hey!" "Fire in the hole!" "Come on, boys, find yourself some cover." "We got fire in the hole!" "Hey, you!" "Fire in the hole!" "Water!" "Anybody need water?" "Water?" "Look at that." "All them wagons headed for the Oklahoma Territory." "I'd be going with them if I was as young as you." "Doesn't interest me." "I had a woman once." "But she didn't want me 'cause I had no money." "That's America." "Unless you're rich, you're nobody." "I should never have come to this place." "Forget the women, boys." "You got a job of work ahead of you." "Da, is that you?" "Oh, you look like you're not doing too well, my boy." "I missed you, Da." "A man is nothing without land, they say." "Land is a man's own soul." "I'll work my own land someday." "If you manage it, by God, your old Da... will be smiling down on you from heaven above." "Stay where you are, boys." "We're just stopping for water." "Oh, look." "It's the pioneers." "They go to Oklahoma, I think... for the free land." "They're just wasting time." "There ain't enough land to go around." "One in a hundred will stake a claim." "The rest of'em- they just dreaming." "Think they gonna get some free land." "Hey, Irish!" "Hey, mick, where do you think you're going?" "I was on the wrong road!" "There now!" "Coming through!" " Coming through!" " Farmers, ranchers, homesteaders!" "This well-driller is an example... of modern American industry at its finest." "Come up and have a look." "It's not gonna bite." "It's just modern." "You may find land tomorrow, but you won't survive... in the wilderness, not without water." ""Land Office"" "Folks, each quarter section is marked." "You run for land, remove the marker and drive in your own stake." "The race begins tomorrow at noon." "Again, each quarter section is marked." " You run for land" " Where can I get a horse?" "Well, you're a little late, cowboy." "Pickings are slim." "Now, this here horse is broke." "That horse there- green broke." "Know the difference?" "Think I can see it." "A broke horse is a dependable horse." "A green broke horse- he's faster." "That sounds good." "The faster, the better." "No telling what he'll do though." "Hell, you could end up in Canada on that green broke son of a bitch." "Stand back!" "I think I'll take the dependable horse." "I would." "You go out and get you a good piece of land tomorrow now, Joseph." "Thank you, Ralph." "I'm cursed." "Oh, Lord, I'm cursed." "Mother, the clothes will never come clean if you don't get your hands wet." "There's no order in this godforsaken place." "Here." "Take the soap and you plunge and scrub." " "Plunge and scrub"?" " Like so." "Nora!" "I've been shot." "Shot?" "Well, shot at, anyway... by the cavalry." "We crossed the starting line and we broke the law." "Daniel Christie, I will not have you riding tomorrow... in that vulgarity of a race." "The wild west suits me, Nora." "There's no telling what I might do." "Shannon, I found it!" "Twenty miles straight west of here." "It's paradise itself." "You will love it." "The earth is dry and dusty here... but where we'll live there's a winding stream... and the grass on the gentle hills around it grows high and rich and green." "It's the plot of land you've dreamed of." "Excuse me, Stephen." " Are you cross with me?" " Of course I am." "We were doing this together, I thought." "I couldn't take you with me today." "It was too dangerous." "I don't mind a little danger now and then." "Stop this childishness." "Are we not here, your parents and I, because you wanted this?" "Tomorrow we'll ride as one, together, side by side." "We'll claim our land, and then we'll marry... and finally settle down." "You do want to settle down, don't you, Shannon?" "Yes." "Yes, I want to settle down." "There now." "That's better." "I hate to see you angry." "It isn't your nature to be so." "Hello, Shannon." "I wondered if I'd see you here." "I suspected that I might." "That's right." "I saw you living back in Boston all this while." "You look well." "Well." "I'm here with my family." "We came by train." "I came by train myself." "You'll be running in the race tomorrow, I presume." "I always said I'd get my land." "I even bought a horse." "A fine horse." "Well" "Time takes care of everything, doesn't it?" "Everything's worked out... as it should have." "Don't you agree?" "Yeah." "Good luck tomorrow, Joseph." "Aye." "Best of luck to you, Shannon." "Shannon Christie!" "You never gave up." "You knew what you wanted back in Ireland." "And look at ya." "Here ya are." "You're a corker, Shannon." "What a corker you are." "Beautiful country, isn't it, boy?" "I found the perfect piece of land for Shannon and me." "Almost a picture of what she described." "The land of her dreams." "Congratulations." "Just what the hell are you doing here?" "You bring her to me bleeding, and now you think you can talk to her?" "Stay away from her." "Do you hear me?" "There'll be a lot of confusion in the race tomorrow, lad." "Someone could get shot." "Her beautiful eyes" "Were a terrible curse" "Three days in his grave" "She ran off with his purse" "They've got their land all picked out, the pair of them." "The land of her dreams." "All those months..." "I was trying to forget about her." "I was laying down the very track that brought her here." "To hell with everyone." "I'm gonna get my land." "That's my thought for the night." "Tomorrow I ride for me." "Me alone." "And my horse." "Sweet Mary and Jesus... and all the saints preserve us." "That there was the oldest horse I ever saw in my life." "It's almost noon." "We're gonna miss the photograph." "All right." "Ready?" "I sold him that horse." "Don't let him bluff you, cowboy!" "We're breaking the law, Nora." "I don't like you taking charge of the business side of our life." "Oh, you do too." "Now, listen up." "This stake goes into the ground over there." "That's your job." "I'll tell you when." "I, meanwhile, will run the horse around in circles." "He's got to look all sweaty and tired." " Even dead would be good." "Got it?" " Yes." "But we don't really need all of this." "It's scary out here, Daniel." "Ah, we'll do fine." "Pretend we're starting out in life... instead of ending up." "Anyone buy a good pair of spurs?" "Sorry." "The race is that way, lad." "Forget the horse, lad... and find yourself a donkey." "Take him by the bit." "Where the hell is he going?" "Shoot him!" "Fire!" "Get up!" "That way!" "I have no wish to fight you." "God protect us!" "Daniel, here they come!" "Stand by, partner, and pretend you're out of breath." "Pretend?" "My heart's up here in my nose." "Oh, my God, Nora." "Oh, this is thrilling." "Nora!" "Now, Nora!" "Now!" "There it is!" "Come on!" "Come on, Shannon!" "Hurry!" "Come on." "Come on." "Get up!" "Grab the reins!" "Are you all right, Shannon?" "Go, Joseph." "Go." "Ride!" "Go get your land." "You're not in Ireland anymore... you arrogant bastard." "Damn it, Shannon." "Do you want your land or don't you?" "This land is mine!" "Mine by destiny!" "Go ahead, Joseph." "Claim it." " Shannon." "Claim it." " Stephen!" "Look out, Joseph!" "Oh, my God!" " Joseph!" " Don't touch him!" " Get away!" " Listen to me!" "Get away, Stephen!" "Leave!" "Joseph, look at me." "Look at me." "No, don't move." "Stay still." "Don't do this." " You've made your choice." " Joseph, look at me." "Look at me." "Look at me." " Joseph, look at me." " I feel myself dying." "No, you stay looking at my eyes." "Look at my eyes, Joseph." " Shannon." " No, you're not dying." "Look, you've got your land." "But all the land in the world means nothing to me without you." "I tried to prove myself to you... but I know nothing of books, alphabets... or sun or moon or" "All I know... is Joseph loves Shannon." "That's all that matters to me." "No, stay with me." "Stay." "Joseph, look at me." "Joseph, please." "Please, don't leave me." "Please, don't leave me alone." "Please." "No, please, God in heaven, please." "Don't leave me." "This is our dream together." "I don't want this without you." "I loved you." "I loved you from the first time I saw you." "I often wondered about that." "You died." "You died." "But you could be sure I won't be dying twice."

"Today we do a remix, a fun and daring to make something new from something old." "And we hear ..." "Girl Talk ..." "On the banks of the aesthetic and legal music." "By doing experiments with assemblies, we see that seem to refer to future events." "Stop at random and choose a verse." "The chance is even a chance?" "Without doubt, the most insidious virus through illegal downloads of music is ..." "Some people with sampleadores ..." "The sound is like a pop glutch theft sounds." "It's a pop fun, fast and happy." "Michael Jackson called the police to confiscate copies of the CD." "But before sent, need to synchronize the beats." "Cleveland, then?" "I want to hear!" "Are you all right?" "The operator, somehow, knew just where to cut," "DJ, animate the party." "DJ, animate the party." "DJ, animate the party." "DJ, animate the party." "Come" "Let's stop and take a joke." "See if you can tell who is this song." "Come, I will show how" "Come, I will show how" "Come, I will show how" "Come, I will show how" "Come, I will show how" "If you think it's the Jackson Five was wrong." "try again." "If you think the Queen is, wrong again." "This song was created by my favorite artist" "Girl Talk." "The Girl Talk does remixes." "The computer is a tool, and notes that he plays come from thousands of classic pop." "cut and rearranged to create new songs." "The pop and some songs from different genres seem untouchable, like Elton John," "Of course, create and place it in your head the idea that stars are untouchable." "Able to manipulate and do whatever you want is like taking a blow to Elton John." "Let's change the beat and threw beer on him." "We are not discussing whether the music is original or not." "because the rules of this game does not depend on who wrote it, but who owns the copyright." "According to these people, play a single note is grounds for a lawsuit." "This means that these young people should not dance and you should not watch, therefore use the songs in the film also violates the law." "The fact that people calling my favorite artist of criminal was the reason that led me to make this movie." "This film is about a war." "A war for ideas." "The battlefield is the Internet." "And I take it personally, for I was born at the same time as the internet." "I was born in a small island on the west coast of Canada." "My parents wanted to escape the world." "Like all children, I wanted the opposite." "I wanted to connect." "Thankfully, the creators of the Internet thought with me." "CREATORS OF THE INTERNET" "This computer will send a message to this other and then for this, like a chain." "Millions of computers are connected and became a single machine perfect made with a single goal;" "share information." "With the internet, I connected my island with the world, to exchange ideas with millions of people." "Emerged a generation Internet expert, that downloads of world culture and transforms it into something different." "We call our new language of "remix."" "Funny things, politicized and news are placed on the network." "The creative process has become more important than the product, because consumers have become creators and make folk art of the future." "But people who have remixed the culture represent the past, and they declared war." "They see the great library, the information highway." "Supermarkets saw and wanted a bill." "For them, ideas are the intellectual property, locked up for sale." "They spend money, make political pressure prosecute and to defend themselves." "On this side, is copyright." "On the other hand, there are those who want to share ideas." "Let's call them "left-wing author."" "They believe that the public domain must be protected to ensure the exchange of ideas and the future of art and culture." "Traveled the world to find these people," "Together they drafted a manifesto." "Here's how:" "The culture is always based on past but the past always tries to control the future." "Our future is losing his freedom." "To build free societies, need to limit the control of the past." "On the dance floor, these young people are freed from control." "The future and past are dueling here and whoever wins will decide whether the ideas belong to the public or private corporations." "In science, industry, medicine and throughout our culture." "We'll start with the battle favorite of all: music." "Remember the Girl Talk?" "He understands intellectual property." "By day, is an engineer who mixes biological data." "At night, he tests the biological reaction of the people information to their music." "People can not admit sampleador that is an instrument." "and we do not believe there was moral disputes a collage of songs." "This will soon be a thing of the past." "What is the moral dilemma?" "Those who see problems in the music of Girl Talk?" "Copyrighted work from the '60s." "I have no computer at home, never did a remix, and never downloaded ... songs that were available." "Can I show you how it?" "Sure!" "So ... select any one and take the other window." "Elvis Costello. "Radio"" "If I highlight the first part of the percussion, 0.25 s put it, then paste .125 s, which is half, and then paste over 0.25 s, completed a second, and this rate should be." "I put .125 s of silence," "After the double, ie 0.25 s of silence, 0.25-s lap and then again." "My God ..." "I'll paste 0.125 s." "You are breaking the law?" "I'm impressed with what he's doing." "Just got his grades and rearranging everything." "I'll put the short version." "Can I put a beat behind." "I'll put the extended version." "We can hear both sides, after that fit." "Can I touch them a more slowly or speed it up well." "Two times faster and more acute." "None of this is it." "It just rearranges songs of others." "It has nothing to do with the original song." "It is not the same thing to make a new arrangement of a Beatles tune, use the guitar pedals and say that the song is yours." "He picks one and turns it into something it was not." "This raises many questions about copyright." "It would be a great example for proof of copyright." "The answer is always: "It depends."" "It depends on who owns the rights and how much bother." "You could not say that his creativity is being limited?" "No." "No?" "His creativity is not limited." "You can not defend creativity when it is based on the production of others." "Why not?" "The music of Girl Talk, of course, is creative." "Remember the manifesto?" ""Culture is always based in the past."" "This did not begin with Girl Talk." "He is not the first artist to make new songs with old songs." "I think it's too late to say what I feel" "I did this blues in 1938." "Tell me the story, if you please." "I was sad ... and the song popped into my mind." "It appeared that way, and started singing." "This melody came from some other blues?" "It came from the cotton plantations." "and Robert Johnson recorded it." "He knew the tune before recording?" "I already knew before the recording." "Who learned?" "With Son House." "Now use a piece of music of Led Zeppelin" ""Whole Lotta Love"" "and make a comparison between this verse and one of Muddy Water on "You Need Love."" "Deep down love, deep down woman you need love" "I know I need love you need to be loved" "This may be the last can be this may be the last time, children" "It may be the last time, I do not know oh no" "oh no" "For it is a bittersweet symphony" "REQUIRED A RECORD LABEL RIGHTS OF STONES" "Richards and Jagger Gets the Credit" "AND SELL MUSIC FOR NIKE." "you become slave to money and then dies" "The song popped into my mind." "It appeared that way, and started singing." "I knew the melody before recording." "If the artists are based on the prior art, an appropriate public domain is essential to creativity." "With it, we use freely the previous work." "It is part of evolution." "Think of Mozart, Shakespeare and Thomas Edison." "But today, the public domain is wrong." "Let's play again." "See if you know the lyrics of this song, 1893, not yet fallen into the public domain." "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" "THIS DATE WANTED" "If you sang the song infringed copyright." "To sing it in a theater, restaurant or other place, the law requires that you pay for rights." "But do not pay for the sisters who composed the song, because they died long ago." "It pays to Warner Chappell, the largest distributor of world music." "This song worth millions of dollars a year in licenses." "What do you think would happen if Girl Talk and I we asked permission to remix who holds the history of music?" "Let's try." "Distribuidora." "Hi Can I speak with the manager of copyright?" "No." "Only receive e-mails, no phone calls." "Can anyone explain how?" "Hello." "Hello." "How are you?" "Well, thank you." "I'm doing a documentary, and one of the people in the film make music with several parts of songs." "Right." "We need to pay for the rights?" "He released a CD or a recording of that song?" "I better off?" "It is probable that he did not buy the parts us." "He is not allowed to use the songs if we do not pay before." "So ..." "Let's do the math." "The music of Girl Talk brings together 21 songs in 3 minutes." "Each one belongs on average, four companies." "they want at least $ 2,500 for each." "It's $ 210 000 only to distributors." "The recordings are of stamps, plus $ 52 000." "So far, U.S. $ 262,500." "To release the album he would spend more than $ 4 million." "And the best part is that if any of the 85 corporations do not like remixes, can break up the party." "And if you continue to make music, begin the process." "How did we get here?" "Amazingly, copyright was established to encourage the creation, not to prevent it." "There was a time when ideas were in the public domain." "All inventions and works of art could be improved by the next generation." "An inventor was based on public domain to create the press, the machine that generated the modern world and with it, a nice dilemma." "The ideas could spread around the world." "But how anyone could profit from their creative efforts?" "The solution was the first copyright law." "STATUTE OF ANNE" "The Statute of Anne gave authors exclusive rights." "But there should be a balance between copyright and the public." "So after 14 years the work turned the public domain and anyone could copy it." "Over time, people invent new and better copiers, who broke with the previous model." "The player piano, radio and VCR:" "I copied all the technology ideas without paying the copyright." "The solution was always a balance." "Lawmakers allowed the technological innovation and guaranteeing the right of the authors receive." "In 1998, the music industry grossed more than $ 13 billion per year." "Then a young man who dropped out of college invented Napster that transformed the world's computers in a network to share music." "The record companies realized that in the future lose control." "Napster offered $ 1 billion for a license for users to copy music, but the record did not evolve," "History and withdrew from the process began." "Incriminate" "ACCUSED break rocks in the blazing sun" "Break stones in the blazing sun challenged the law, but she won" "Napster, ..." "Napster, ..." "TRAPPED the law won" "I am a youth of processed for downloading music from the internet." "What is it?" "De-control." "We want to contol what is ours." "Own and control their own art." "This." "We want to control." "Let us pause." "We want people to understand that what they do is illegal." "Be honest, delete files and promise that will never do that again." "But Napster was a P2P technology, different from a transmission." "It allowed individuals to share files." "Did not have to sign a central only one connection and a friend." "And there were more people on our side than theirs." "With the shutdown of Napster, looks cheap." "They turned on the light and hide." "We did not observe the fact that in 18 months assembled the largest collection of human creativity, and we did it for free." "When he was disabled, had 52 million users, and 50 million had voted in the U.S. presidential election." "There were enough users to change the outcome of the election." "Napster drew world attention, it was simple, efficient and deliciously fun." "Everyone began to share music and thus we had gathered the largest collection of musical history." "And we no longer need the labels, because we all turn distributors." "For a long time, controlled the technology industry, and the people were subservient to technology." "The power returned to the people." "But ..." "The world has changed." "But there are millions of dollars involved." "If the bosses of companies do not profit, the staff of Internet profits." "Someone will win, and, if not the artist, is illegal enrichment." "It is for real." "How so?" "Whoever is going to do with the likes of Metallica, that is resourceful, tenacious and will not leave in peace people who continue to do so." "MANIFESTO remix" "Welcome to the second point:" ""The powers that be in the past always try to control the future. "" "One lawyer told us that there was illegal activity on our computer." "It represented, of course, the recording industry." "She said I was guilty for downloading music illegally on the computer." "I said to her that she had never downloaded music." "She said that someone was there, and said it might be." "I explained that the computer was the whole family and that on the night of Friday or Saturday, my son could have been friends." "Inta it was said:" ""We will send a form, and you can accuse your son. "" "I am Don Smith, pastor and religious adviser" "McKinney, Texas, in Dallas, and I was sued for violating copyright laws." "God does not exist!" "The world in which we pretend not to violate copyrights is like the Victorians, who pretended not to masturbate." "They said if they did, they would be blind and foolish." "And now people say bad copy files without authorization." "in both cases is a lie." "It's happening the same happened to masturbation." "People are admitting that they do it." "But while the law criminal has 52 million people, a lawyer began a movement to free them." "His name is Lawrence Lessing" "He wrote the manifesto that inspired this movie." "What is less clear is that there is no way to end this technology." "One can only criminalize the use." "We can not prevent the use of culture to express ideas in different if that is considered subversive creativity." "We can not keep our children as we were passive." "We can only turn them into "pirates"." "The question we must ask is whether this is a good thing." "Lessing has traveled the world since the 90's, warning the world about the U.S. copyright laws." "I'm not anti-American do not put people against the U.S." "but I am against this version of American politics." "I'm ashamed of it." "It is too radical, compared to our tradition, and is harmful when it is applied to developing countries." "I think appropriate to go to these countries and show them that there is another side of the story." "I was a lawyer with a guilty conscience." "Somehow, there should be balance." "If there was confusion because of lawyers in the hands of people who profit from this, lawyers should be the other side." "That encouraged me." "I will make a film-remixed." "I use my favorite songs remixed, my favorite movies about it, things I find on the internet, and I put it all together to tell the recent history of copyright." "You could take a look." "It's fantastic and completely illegal." "I will take my house?" "You have a home?" "No." "So do not worry." "Okay." "It was advice that I expected." "There are some legitimate use?" "Or is this legitimate use?" "In my vision of fair use, showed me what would be acceptable." "The legitimate use is a part of U.S. law which allows freedom of expression." "Can I use small pieces to show what I mean." "I can still be processed, but I have a defense." "A comparison would be to imagine you're writing a text." "In the text you cite elements of their culture, some stretch as a popular writer, some stretch of Shakespeare or anything to include." "You use it to tell a story." "You should copy the passages and cite the source." "We should have that freedom with films such as textiles." "Everyone knows that a writer can do this, but there is a federal discussion about this possibility with movies." "The world's coolest lawyer said that my movie is illegal." "If I want to use this song, need to ask several rockers and obtain permission from Warner Brothers." "But no money in the world convince the music industry to let me use his music to criticize it." "If it was them, you could not hear anything." "I will create a silence." "Right." "How to make a film about remixing without touching a remix?" "My hope is to use legitimate for I have something to say." "I say that copyright is out of control." "Was manipulated for profit at the expense of all." "It is a global problem then the debate should not be limited to me or a bunch of lawyers and lobbyists." "Why not invite remixers from around the world?" "I created a website, OpenSourceCinema and pass on my recordings." "to see what they would do with them." "So far, this film was assembled and reassembled to the point where 64 university came together to make an animation." "Now we are a group, and are writing the film together." "When you see this sign, know that the video came from somebody else." "May have come from you." "These communities are created the opportunity that technology offers, and they establish a dialogue where use has been done and add something, mixing, changing and being creative." "Hello." "Tell." "My community has taught me remixing the game around for a long time." "Yes." "Hello." "When the assembly during a trying time we see that some texts rearranged seem to refer to future events." "Stop at the chance, clipping a phrase and create a new juxtaposition." "This procedure, a recorder, produces new words when you change the juxtaposition." "first, try to create new art forms with traces of ancient cultures." "Dada, Beat poets and pop art by Warhol ..." "The remix is ​​slim today about giants." "The importance of remixing has nothing to do with the technical that each of displays videos." "The important thing is that the technique has been democratized." "The remix gives anyone with access to a computer for $ 1,500 the power to say things in a different way." "Imagine that there is no Paradise." "It's easy if you try." "No hell below us." "Above us only sky." "Imagine all the people ... living today." "Girls of color ... and peace." "This is the writing of the 21st century the literature of a new generation." "It builds a different democracy and builds a different culture, in which people participate in the creation and recreation the culture around us, a form of culture there is the beginnings of human society and who came to the present, with a century exeção:" "the 20th century." "If you were born in the 20th century, like myself, must know the music you're hearing." "and must have grown up watching the works of Walt Disney." "I love this, as Cory Doctorow." "a copyright activist who loves Mickey." "Who leads our club?" "MICKEY MOUSE" "In the end, they glorify piracy." "They have a store full of pirate artifacts." "I was walking and I wanted to download a movie!" "I am a big fan of this man," "Walt Disney." "I really admire his work because his greatest works show well that culture has in the past." "What did Walt Disney, perhaps better than anyone, was to take public domain works, update them and make them relevant for our time." "Slave-..." "Boys, really?" "His work was a continuation of a culture of dialogue, and he spoke with readings what came before." "Walt Disney did remixes." ""Steamboat Willie" is based on "The Hero of the River."" "he leads the staff copying "The Hero of the River."" "Bill, on the steamboat down the Mississippi" "He used it to recognize the reference." "Mickey represented any individual." "It was an ordinary man, generic." "We've learned to identify with." "And when you send it, we have identified." "The stork brought a son and a daughter to Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse" "In 60 years, a cartoonist named Dan O'Neil wanted to turn the U.S. capitalism on its head." "Mickey Mouse was the right character for the mission." "O'Neil and the Air Pirates group of cartoonists" "Mickey envisioned as a revolutionary drug dealer." "Disney sued several times." "It was a standoff between freedom of expression and the right of a corporation control their intellectual property." "Do you think the artist has rights on the character you create?" "No way." "I stole this mouse honestly." "Always get what I want" "Always get what I want why whine all the time" "Disnetlândia bought you on." "Here you are." "What a beauty!" "This is great." "I could have brought to court." "I took a book of these." "A $ 1.25 book that taught him to draw." "They would not teach me." "This is a model of 50 years." "You see?" "This is "Steamboat Willie" in 1928." "This is the original mouse." "He was no longer used and, when used, soon came after him." "My goodness ..." "They put this picture in everyone's mind." "Basically, we were contaminated by Mickey." "Understand?" "The artists were suffering the need to draw that stupid mouse." "Although several trials," "O'Neil has continued to draw Mickey." "He created a terrorist group," "Release the Power of the Rat, that recruited cartoonists in the world to draw Mickey." "Disney O'Neil led the Supreme Court, whose unanimous decision, from 0 to 9, was that the use of Mickey Mouse was illegitimate." "They said they had gone too far." "I had 60 years of subversive lawyers who did not understand copyright." "This is Mickey, but all would disagree, because he would not do it." "Why go after Mickey?" "I would do the same with Popeye, would do the same with the Little Lulu, and any one he was paranoid and attacking whoever was in front." "It was not for Mickey, but by Disney that processed all who look to her." "Suddenly, it became silly." "Here." "Come on." "Let's see." "More a federal crime." "Once I built a tower" "reaching to the sky bricks, mortar and lime" "Once I built a tower but now it's destroyed" "friend, can you give me some change?" "Then, after Walt Disney," "Walt Disney Corporation has changed." "Her goal is no longer just create works based on the past." "Its goal is also control the works of Disney, to ensure that others do not rely on them." "Disney sued this daycare Florida for the paintings on the walls were not authorized." "The nursery called Very Important Babies received a letter from the company saying that the painting violates copyright and can give the impression that the nursery is Disney." "Nobody came here and thought it was Disneyland." "Children and parents do not want to be without Mickey." "I'll be very sad." "If you take the Mickey?" "Why?" "Because I like it." "I'll get hurt and cry." "Why "Happy Birthday" is not public domain?" "It is because, after the death of Walt Disney," "Disney asked the corporation to the U.S. president the most magical birthday present of all." "The White House received a distinguished visitor today." "He had a special reception." "Why not?" "He is the most famous mouse in history, so walked around the East Room." "There was even a musical performance." "In 1998, when Mickey turned 60, the law was rewritten so that the Disney empire had the unlimited control of the mouse." "Extended the copyright to 70 years after the author's death." "Corporations have gained 95 years, more than quadrupling the original 14 years of U.S. law." "and it was not just Mickey." "All that would be used freely was locked." "Today, to create art with the public domain, works must be sought prior to 1923." "This is the best example of one and two points." "Walt Disney was based on the past, died" "Disney Corporation and changed the law not to do that anymore." "Today those who want to make collages, such as Walt Disney, must act outside the law." "That's cool ..." "We played Hall Oates," "Our favorite duo." "Gregg also liked." "I saw an interview in a report." "Asked about the authenticity, and he said he always uses Hall and Oates." "We cool." "I'm shirtless in a show of Joysticks." "There." "For some time ..." "I told you not to take it." "I also say this." "Yeah." "The shirt, that's fine, but does not remove his pants." "Sometimes it's hot." "That leaves people at ease." "But we have already said that talent." "Why take off my pants?" "I say this all the time." "Do not do it forever." "Just shoot her blouse when it's hot, and I'm no pants when people take off." "I can not lead the party and go behind my pants when they take off." "And other people are also naked." "It is the environment." "I did not know." "Yeah." "He is talented, and creative but I always worry about copyright." "So ..." "Why did you say that?" "I'm sorry." "It is because of them?" "I've regretted." "We are afraid to be arrested, prosecuted or something like that, because we know what he does." "It is a violation of copyright." "Let's see." "Nothing has ever happened, but we were worried." "One, two, three, one, two, three," "All are becoming more radical to protect your ideas, you know?" "In the end, will understand that it is worthwhile to change them." "That's what I hope." "The past is controlling the future very well, but artists are fighting back" "It was a little dog named Snuggles ..." "Before Girl Talk" "My heroes were the remix of Negativland rioters, processed by professional remixes of U2." "Adjust the frequency, stupid bastard." "It is the letter U with the number 2." "The quartet consists of Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen," "Dave Evans, nicknamed "The Edge" ..." "What nonsense!" "Nobody cares." "They are from England who cares?" "This is garbage." "To be precise, were sued by Island Records by a remix of U2 with casey Kassen." "What nonsense!" "We were on tour." "I received a tape from someone on the show." "It was a recording of a radio announcer Casey Kassen having a bad day in the studio." "When I heard, I was impressed." "It's what I feel today." "Ten days after launch, received a 180-page process." "This is the "American Top 40"" "on the radio that grows with you," "Radio 138 ..." "Dammit!" "Certain things are forbidden to art?" "The art is forbidden?" "Not created with the art of others?" "It makes no sense." "It's silly." "It is a matter of business." "It's true." "Not?" "Climbing up ..." "Negativland has created a phrase that describes the remix." "It was called "cultural mix."" "They wanted to use modern media against itself to criticize its power over us." "I will kill the next to speak." "Wow!" "Corporations dominate our culture and say that we can only consume but we say we want to create, react, absorb, maim and cut the crop." "Do not ask us if we are outdoors throughout the city, if we want the Nike logo out there, if we want to hear U2 in the shops and restaurants." "Why do I need to ask to use part of it, create something, laugh at you and criticize them?" "Why do I need to ask?" "Weapons." "Hello." "Who does cultural mix, fight against Mickey and makes remixes faces one of the world's most powerful branches:" "that of communication." "It has already been made by numerous studios and record labels." "Six Hollywood studios and four major record labels now control Hollywood." "And these companies belong to larger:" "Disney, Viacom, Time Warner," "News Corp and General Electric BMG holds more than 90 percent of the U.S. media." "They are represented by the groups:" "The American Association of Recording and the Association of American Movies." "You may not like, but they control our culture." "The main objective is to preserve the model that enriched these corporations," "while requiring the government convercer preventing the flow of new ideas, new technologies and better models." "But as powerful as they are, something threatens the existence of these groups." "Yeah." "Besides China and Russia," "My hometown is highlighted as one of the worst pirates and now they want to pay us." "We have a mission to stop piracy." "Help us." "Let's exterminate them." "It started when Arnie spoke with Prime Minister on an international crisis:" "there were people doing illegal DVDs with their cameras." "Uniforms." "Thanks for coming." "We discuss the environment, trade and illegal shooting." "Of course, companies are pushing to show that not fulfill obligations" "if we do what the lobby of the branch requires that we make for them." "The demanded that Canada was simple:" "trap culture." "Which brings us to the third point." ""Our future is becoming less free."" "The result is known in the tech world as "digital rights management."" "With this technology, audio and film companies may prevent you from copying CDs, DVDs and files the computer." "Instead of letting the law decide what we can do." "a computer program will decide for you." "Call "business model of urinary infection."" "Before, DVD, CD and other media flowed freely and simple." "But with this new program, every innovation is a drip that causes pain." "Each time you press a button, you will pay U.S. $ 0.03 the right of return for the right to pause and the right to watch videos in the car." "Freedom of speech was not included in the law." "Forget fair use. because it was forbidden." "I can only make a movie with montages using a program that breaks the lock." "But the proposed law in Canada, is an infraction with a fine of U.S. $ 20 000." "I made many infractions, and even gave a copy of the program to the editor you can pay $ 20 000." "Sorry, Tony." "Having given you the tool, I can pay $ 100 000 and be imprisoned for five years." "PIRACY IS A CRIME" "What we saw in the U.S." "was a pressure to retain all the rights possible." "The question became:" "update the copyright for the 21st century or use the fear of copyright to rewrite it in a radical way, so it you've never been there?" "Take the music industry:" "10 year old children processed subpoenas delivered to schools, the sick and deceased." "We can not put shackles on citizens!" "The Honorable Minister of Industry." "I just think it's fair ..." "When you are online, is easy to know who you are." "Right?" "We have the date the name, address, and all who downloaded 200 songs illegally." "They can be imprisoned for five years and pay fines of $ 250 000 for each song stolen." "It is not an exaggeration?" "No." "The reason is something called intellectual property." "It is the property of someone's mind." "If I write a song about love, particularly my expression of love is my property." "I do not have rights to love, unfortunately, but the song belongs to me, and the right lasts for 70 years after my death." "How many of you download music from the internet?" "Tell the truth." "How many of you think that downloading music is stealing?" "Since the advent of the Internet, entertainment in the lobby of the U.S." "press the government to make laws more stringent, processes leading to against more than 24 thousand Americans." "My name is Dave Grubel." "Raej-Schwartz." "I live in Texas." "I live in New York." "My family has been processed." "They had about 9 songs" "I have downloaded." "They threaten charge a large sum of money." "They asked about U.S. $ 4,500 in the agreement." "Hundreds, thousands ..." "I would have to pay at least" "$ 750 per song, reaching the amount of $ 150,000 per song." "Will process my children." "Sue unemployed, disabled," "People who have nothing." "Most were forced to accept a settlement." "They could not face the Recording Association." "Without being found guilty they lost thousands of dollars, and not a penny went to the artists supposedly defended." "When Jammie Thomas, a single mother, did not accept the agreement, she ended up in court accused of downloading 24 songs, the equivalent of two successful albums." "Right." "Let's hear the song list of shame." "I was crying when I met you" "Run, baby" "Run, baby, run" "The verdict was that I had infringed the copyright of 24 songs." "U.S. $ 9.250 per song, a total of $ 222 000" "They can collect up to 25 percent of my salary to recover the amount." "It was just a small town girl did not know that ..." "Mr.." "Gabriel was the lead attorney for plaintiffs." "On the stairs as he left the verdict, the first thing he said was:" ""This is what happens when you do not accept the agreement."" "Never mind that they had won." "The first thing he said was:" ""This is what happens when you do not accept the agreement."" "I thought, "My God, I will lose my house," "I will lose everything. "" "What was the reaction?" "Record companies are very satisfied." "I hope this makes it clear that downloading and distributing our recordings not cool." "I like Journey, like everyone else, but as far as the music industry can go to protect 24 songs we can buy for $ 8.99?" "I do not know the text, if you ..." "Why not put this apartment listening to?" "We are talking about ways to steal music." "Before radio and recordings, the only way to make money with music was performing and having charisma." "Technology gives but also takes away." "The business model of 1909 may be the model for today." "The business model of 1939 may not be the model for today." "This is how it works." "In 2007, the business model of music has been rewritten." "Radiohead, the biggest band in the world, left EMI to release an album on the Internet." "They let the fans decide how much to pay." "Within weeks, a DJ from San Francisco, Amplive, began to remix the album." "Do not lose your head" "No-no-lose your head" "Do not lose your head-not- do not lose your head" "By putting music on your website" "Amplive received a subpoena-threatening process." ""In Rainbowns" is one of the best albums of Radiohead." "I'm a fan of the band and did a tribute." "Perhaps they are not." "You know?" "Perhaps a company involved with them is angry for having released the music for free in an innovative way ... and so the company does not profit." "The letter is not Radiohead." "It is the company that has the publishing rights," "Warner Chappell, who owns the "Happy Birthday"." "But the band was independent and decide everything." "And Warner said that recusse." "I want to thank all the people that they sent video over the Internet." "I love Radiohead!" "I love you more!" "Amplive love!" "Radiohead continued." "Original studio recordings released and video clips, to make music that fans of Radiohead." "Suddenly, down the wall separating musicians, remixers and fans." "The music industry refused to evolve, are evolved by it." "My name is Gregg Gillis when I'm in escretório." "Out here, everyone knows me as Girl Talk." "It's Friday, and will leave in a few minutes to introduce myself to 400 young who enjoy my musical collages." "It's Friday, and we will watch the Girl Talk." "Show the music giants companies and those in power." "Are we, do not accept this drug." "I know there are many cameras in the audience." "Not for me but for all of us, because we are the same person." "Take a photo of yourself, we are all the same guy!" "My album would not be heard without the Internet." "I think this is the best moment of music." "All may be popular all the music can be heard, and no one controls anything." "The control returned to the people after a long time." "Girl Talk!" "Girl Talk!" "If the Girl Talk is an example it seems that the battle for the future of music will get worse." "Now he shares the stage with the artists whose music uses." "Coachella, how are you?" "Coachella, everything cool?" "We'll definitely see." "We're gonna have fun." "This will be here too!" "You will have sex at Coachella." "Come on!" "Sorry." "I still love the music," "I can not." "The justification of fair use has been used." "Remember how it was?" "I can play remixes illegal use as freedom of expression to say something." "But I said what I meant, then there is no legal justification to continue." "I think I need to play something in the public domain." "It's a shame it was a great show." "The staff enjoyed a lot." "He mixed AC / DC Black Eyed Peas." "Commented on the Internet for weeks." "Look, there is Paris." "It's official:" "infringing copyrights is fashionable." "Ready?" "That's my girlfriend." "Hi, how are you?" "Hi." "I'm Paris Hilton." "You filmed?" "It's surreal." "I want to go home and promote it online." "Play Coachella Festival is like being awarded." "Fifty bands are present." "It's crazy to play with Red Hot Chili Peppers." "They played the same show, same time." "It's a strange situation." "I think I'll play more festivals to graduations." "The decision on the next album change much." "Still do not know if I'll release it, if I distribute it for free or otherwise." "Never thought about it, but now" "I am not in a hurry, because they are expecting too much." "I will not ..." "I just want to make music I like, and I will not be processed." "I'm about to quit my job." "It would be wrong for me to quit the job, release an album and always be processed." "I do not want it to be." "I'm continuing with." "Like my sound, do tours ..." "I hope to continue like this without worrying about the law." "He has concerns beyond the music and the law." "In their daily work, the ideas are not free." "There are patents, corporate secrets guarded like gold." "I am trained in Biomedical Engineering." "Testo instruments and analyze data." "In science and music, working with trial error." "I investigate many things." "Select samples all day and see what works." "In science, we seek ideas in journals." "We take note of information and data gathered, seek different things to make something new." "And we need to process the data, arrive at the results." "First, we searched to see if there are patents." "Many great ideas are patented." "Work in an experimental wing, then require that we have three ideas a year." "I think if we were more open in all of medicine and science, to make the best possible use all the ideas and see what happens, medicine could evolve very quickly." "We believe in something, investigate, and there is a patent." "There may be differences but there is already a patent on something crucial ... which is part of your idea." "And often, it is impractical." "This stops the exchange of knowledge." "Many things are not produced due to patents." "The cure for cancer may be close, but prohibited." "They can keep the idea without using it." "The culture is threatened, and not just talking music and movies." "I'm talking about everything." "AYAHUASCA ZENFILMLAB" "The concept of intellectual property spreads." "When one realizes that yield more ideas than oil, gold or property, there is no limit to what you consider a property." "In 1980 the U.S. Supreme Court decided that organisms can be patented." "Soon after the decision, ayahuasca, a rainforest plant, was patented by a U.S. businessman." "The plant is used in the Amazon for several generations, medicinal and spiritual practices." "Now, with the patented life, started the race." "The 20th century was the century of land ownership." "the 21st century is the century of intellectual property, of ideas." "In 90 years," "The U.S. has devised a plan to exchange trade in objects the commerce of ideas." "and who advocated these ideas" "Bruce Lehman was." "Under President Clinton, my work was to control intellectual property policy, both the U.S. and in diplomacy." "In a modern economy, lies in the richness of the mind, in intellectual creations." "In much of the world we live in a sea of ​​pirates." "You know." "We can be sorry for the developing countries." "but we agreed." "Who goes to a mall in the United States, do not buy anything made here." "Everything comes from China or somewhere like that." "The reason is the full market opening." "It was a conscious decision primarily of abandoning poorly paid jobs in factories and compensate this with higher wages for jobs in technology and information." "The idea was to convince economists of the world to adopt laws prohibiting the copying of ideas in the U.S." "without permission." "In return, all countries wishing to produce to export to the U.S." "should accept the U.S. laws, or could not sell their products here in the U.S.," "World Commerce organization and participate." "The difficulty of world trade is that we fulfill our part of the deal." "but the others failed." "Mickey Mouse?" "Donald Duck?" "Minnie Mouse?" "They are the Disney characters?" "This reproduction of the happiest place on earth illustrates a problem in the U.S. plan." "Whether good or bad, in the Information Age, only copy ideas." "The Cinderella Castle?" "Splash Mountain?" "Mickey Mouse is here?" "No." "It's a cat with ear bars." "I have to admit that now ... it's been a long time since we started with this policy, digital copyright ..." "Eh ..." "I think" "What did not get the expected results." "Disneyland is too far." "Let's have fun here." "I think it might have been better to forget" "International intellectual property and demanding working conditions and environmental protection." "It would have been a good idea." "But instead of seeking fair trade" "The United States wants an economy that can not be built." "Since the beginning of this policy, the U.S. trade deficit almost tripled." "To make matters worse, the whole world is at an impasse, forcing its citizens criminals to comply with laws that can not be met." "I do not know about you, but I'm ready for number 4." ""To build free societies, need to limit the control of the past. "" "When the U.S. developed, after the revolution, in the first century, not respected copyright except those of American authors." "Writers like Charles Dickens was pirated with enthusiasm for graphics, who used the profits to subsidize works of Mark Twain, a local writer." "Therefore, the idea that the Republic of Burundi, Brazil and India need to have laws like the U.S. to compete is totally mistaken." "What American history shows us is that they need laws like the U.S. in 1776." "Listen to this new remix of that song we like." "It was created from the same country that challenged the U.S. laws of intellectual property to disregard international patents" "AIDS medicines, to produce copies of them for lower prices." "The mission was to ensure free and universal access to citizens." "The pharmaceutical industry saw this as an act of war." "Brazil is viewed as an act of life." "Brazil The struggle for access to AIDS drugs to all people." "This policy has generated controversy in international forums." "Exposed to the world our situation and fight." "Remix the art, science and knowledge world culture is a feature of Brazilian which became government policy." "Lawrence Lessing was in Brazil in 2004 for inspiration." "He thought I gave a silent alternative copyright," "Creative Commons." "Creative Common was born, to free culture." "It is a license that says:" ""I, as a musician, soon the right to use my work to build, create and change. "" "The most important place where this dialogue started was here in Brazil." "I've been the only country where free speech." "I come from a country where we are lost." "Brazil is our brother this debate, and you must remember than we lose." "Lessing found support for Gilberto Gil, one of Brazil's most famous musicians, who was also Minister of Culture." "He devoted his life to create a society based on sharing." "We always find ways to give people and young people opportunities for access." "The sound is the modern Rio baile funk." "This is a music created in the slums with songs from around the world." "You can hear this song in two ways:" "count the songs used and calculate how much they should or enjoy a new art form being created, based on the universal language of remixing, in one of the most probres the world." "Come as you are as you were" "I heard a story before it reaches the River that when the first bishop Portuguese arrived in Brazil, the natives were so impressed by God's Word" "Bishop who ate to absorb the power of the Catholic Church." "For those who do remixing," "The Brazil will lead the digital age." "It is a country struggling to overcome the legacy of violence, corruption and inequality, with innovation based on universal access to knowledge and freedom of establishment with a sensible intellectual property and its relationship to the public domain." "What humanity would reach if everyone acted like Brazil?" "What diseases could be cured?" "That voice could be heard?" "What songs would be sung?" "If we tried, the whole world could be so." "Or the world might look like ... a private property belonging to some group." "PROTECT YOUR MONEY" "A world where, to create, we must beg for permission from the powerful who hold the ideas of the previous century." "INFRINGEMENT" "COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT" "That's why we walk?" "Not the Mouse Liberation Front can pronounce." "LIBERATION FRONT OF THE RAT" "What is your favorite number?" "Seventy-September." "Right." "So is 00177." "Who will look after you add the 77." "After that, nobody knows." "There is no stopping." "All members of the Liberation Front do it?" "This brings to 10 thousand members." "The feds wanted ..." "Know the name of the members, but there are only numbers." "Who knows?" "Ready." "Beauty." "It is the movement required to change this world, in which ... the Girl Talk is a criminal." "This is the world today." "How do you say?" "The world is screwed." "Thanks for coming." "Will roll a short presentation on the street now." "You willing to have?" "It is as follows:" "The rules of the game depends on you." "The world is not composed of passive consumers." "That time has passed." "This world is made up of employees." "We can create and share." "We can change the laws." "We can act." "This is remixing." "It is not piracy." "If this is a crime, have a generation of criminals." "Fret not, Tree Stacks, Chill" "Fret not, Tree Stacks, Chill" "These girls are smart, Tree Stacks" "Do your part" "Take this movie, edit it, remix it and reassemble it helps" "Give me a blow and throw beer on my head." "It is only the beginning of this movie." "Create with the past." "This is the future." "Translation:" "John Rodrigo (left copyright)" "Enter orkut community Rip!" "Viacom sued YouTube." "200 000 videos are added daily, including this one." "Lessig also writes about the future of culture," "But focuses on the reform of Congress." "And in the future?" "Nobody has anything?" "We will have you and Barack Obama saying everything is everyone?" "Girl Talk quit his job to devote himself to music." "He appeared in "Playgirl"" "I'm Mike Doyle of Pittsburgh. and was supported by Congress." "and was supported by Congress." "Girl Talk got the MP3 player." "Doctorow wrote science fiction in the UK but a visit to Disneyland." "Negativland continues to make music and looks forward to the next process." "In the Trojan horse of surprises in one direction, can not" "Go for the two sides" "The decision of the trial of Jammie was annulled." "She waits for another trial." "The Recording Association of America not process sharing users." "the final solution can be awful depends on its contribution" "The Chinese government shut down Disneyland false." "This film is successful in pirate market." "Mary Beth Peters still dealing with copyright." "No one was behind her yet." "Mary Beth Peters still dealing with copyright." "He was lucky." "Gilberto Gil is no longer Minister of Culture but continues to show the world." "Dan O'Neil will make a movie based on the process of Disney." "The Mouse Liberation Front is on high alert." "I am in a place where space open way for Obi-Wan and Vader dream of a private session" "I'll be very angry, maybe open a case if one takes this interview and remix it." "Remix it, remix it remix it, remix it remix is ​​cool, remix remix, remix" "with a good beat to dance with a good beat to dance with a good beat to dance with a good beat to dance never, never, never" "I get something never, never, never" "I get something to remix copyright" "can remix remix the copyright laws" "Can remix, I do not care." "I did not authorize." "Just to clarify what I said," "I will repeat rhythmically" "I do not want to use my words in a music club for you shake it, shake it shake it for you shake it for you shake it for you shake it for you shake it for you feel the beat" "feel the beat" "I'll be very angry, and maybe open a case" "I was so angry that I made a video clip a music video remix a video clip is so cool that takes your breath away is so cool that takes your breath away is so cool that takes your breath away" "is so cool that takes your breath away well, in 24 hours" "DJ for a second there released on the Internet a video clip remix released on the Internet a video clip remix released on the internet for a second DJ copyright my lawyers will find a way remix, remix" "remix, remix ..." "Thanks for watching!" "Among the community Rip!" "A remix manifesto;)"

"So... you want me to sign a contract?" "Yeah, just to formalize the relationship." "I'm her father." "She's my daughter." "Yeah, and that is divine and sacred ground, my friend, a forever bond which no mortal can ever change." "We just want to redefine it a little bit." "I'm the singer." "You're the songwriter." "Okay, what's Ava?" "I'm the really cool surrogate mom." "So by signing this contract, you get to live here for free," "Gigi also covers the rent on the rehearsal space, pays Bam and Rehab." "What about Flash?" "What's his deal?" "He already has his own money, and his own apartment and a new BMW." "He's doing it because he totally believes in my potential." "I'll bet he does." "By the way, I think he had work done to his face, okay?" "Look at his face and look at my face." "This is the face of a 50-year-old rock star." "A 50-year-old failed rock star." "In cocaine years, you're, like, 175." "Now, Flash signed this already." "It says you both agree to deliver five songs in the next two months." "And you need this pressure, John." "You haven't written a new song in almost two years." "Ira, my muse does not have a contract." "My muse does not have a schedule, okay?" "Does she have a 2,000-square-foot loft with rooftop city views?" "Okay, I'll do it, but I just want to make one thing clear..." "I'm not writing some auto-tuned pop-schlocky" "Katy Perry bullshit, okay?" "I'm not selling my soul." "You can keep your soul, Dad." "That's what I'm after." "I want you, the real deal." "I'm not shooting fireworks out of my tits." "I want to sing real songs with real musicians." "Cool." "I mean, unless there's something new and exciting we can do with my tits." "* *" "* Sex and drugs and rock and roll *" "* All right" "* *" "* All right *" "* 'Cause I don't want to die anonymous *" "* No, no *" "* No, no *" "* No, no *" "* *" "Dad?" "Wow." "Johnny!" "My God." "Look at this." "Billy Joel!" "Jesus, Johnny." "God, Dad, when Ava woke up and realized you didn't come home last night, she freaked." "Where were you?" "I was right down here, working." "With who, Pablo Escobar?" "My God." "No, I got an idea for a song." "I need my phone." "Shit." "We got it." "Hello?" "This shit has to stop, you know that, right?" "Who's this?" "Asshole." "Okay, now I just need to get my voice memos." "This is on pause." "Says you were recording at 7:15 a.m." "Let's just delete that shit." "Give me that." "* *" "Needs lyrics, but it's pretty good." "Yeah, it's not bad." "Yeah." "You almost trashed it." "All right, go ahead." "Give me some." " Go high." " For what?" "Dudes, this is..." "This is unbelievable." "This is like a sign from the gods of rock and roll." "This is how Keith Richards wrote Satisfaction." "He woke up one morning, he had an idea for a song, he went to hit "record" on his tape recorder and instead he hit "play," and what he heard was the famous riff from Satisfaction," "which he recorded the night before when he was up, just like I just did." "I'm telling you guys, there's no off position on the genius switch." "That's your songwriting hero, Keith Richards?" "He's a fossil, Dad." " He's a rock and roll legend!" " Yeah?" "Did you see his ad campaign for Louis Vuitton luggage?" "Put a handle on his head, he could've been one of the bags." "Slash is sober now, Eddie Van Halen..." "Even the rest of the Stones don't party anymore." "Mick Jagger jogs 5 miles every morning." "Ron Wood, fancy water." "Guys, I've been doing it this way, getting drunk and high and writing songs, for, like, 30 years, okay?" "It's no big deal." "It's just my process." "Call Ava." "Give her a heads up." "All right, you want to write this song or not?" "Yeah, I want to write a song." "Okay." "I'll get my ax." "I'll get my weed." "Where did I put it?" "*" "Go the F instead of the C in the opening." "Like this..." "* *" "* *" "* And let go of my soul *" "* *" "* Let me up so I can breathe *" "* *" "* Got to find some kind of cover *" "* *" "* From this hold you have on me *" "* *" "* I'm gonna get right over you *" "* Or I'm gonna die trying *" "* *" "* Ooh *" "* *" "* I can feel you like a fever *" "* *" "* Down in the marrow of my bones *" "* *" "* Sliding like a demon *" "Great song." "Hey, what are you doing here?" "We need to talk about your process." "Yeah, my muse." "Told you, Ira, she arrives whenever she wishes." "We need to talk." "Wait a minute." "Did you drop a dime on me?" "I dropped a dime to save your life, Dad, and the band's." "With what, an intervention?" "Is that what this is?" "What?" "No, no, no, if this was an actual intervention, it'd end with us driving you to a treatment center." "Rehab knows a couple great places." "Five." "I know five great places." "But we can't afford the time actual treatment would take." "Case like you, slips, relapses, even more trips to treatment..." "We could be spinning our wheels for at least a year." "So we just need you to quit drugs and drink, cold turkey, for a few weeks, write four more songs, then you can do whatever the hell you want." "Besides, it's in the contract." "I didn't see anything in there..." "You didn't read it?" "I..." "Yeah, ""..." "Page two, paragraph one:" ""Substance abuse by employee leads to dismissal."" ""In lieu of dismissal, employee agrees to work clean and sober for at least 30 days."" ""Employee"?" "Yeah, employee." "I could've written "Johnny Rock,"" "but "employee" sounds way more official." "Guys, I can't..." "You can do this, brother." "We can do this, baby." "Here for a month with me as your sober coach..." "It could work." "You'll be surrounded by music." "Listen, you come here every day, write and play, you sleep in your own bed at night." "You relax, have a little wine..." " I can drink wine?" " What... whoa, whoa, wait." " He can't have wine." " Yeah, why not?" "No wine." "Everything in moderation, right, including moderation." "No... no alcohol at all." "That's the whole point." "Okay." "So we're going new school." "I thought we were going old school." "No biggie." "Jesus." "Look, you guys, we all just have to give him some strong and loving support." "Total love and support." "Next thing you know, we have four more songs." "Well, I mean, however many may happen." "Your health comes first, Dad, okay?" "The songs come second." "Right." "So three songs." "What's wrong, Bam?" "Nothing, it's just, this whole thing with Johnny reminds me of what happened with my mom." "Your mom was a coke whore?" "No, ass face, she was a drunk, surrounded by people that cared about her and she still couldn't see it." "And Johnny and my mom..." "They both have the same hair." "And I'm pretty sure she had that blouse." "This is a shirt, not a blouse, and Bowie had this haircut in 1973, okay?" "This is an iconic look." "Bowie's been drug-free since '78." "Talent-free too, bro." "Let's Dance?" "Let's not, David." "Hey, if we want to really get into this," "Bowie's best stuff was done before '78, when he was high on blow." "All of our favorite songs of his..." "That's when they came from, right?" "Okay, our favorite bands of all time..." "The Stones, The Ramones, The Replacements, us." "They were high when they were doing their best stuff." "I mean, John Lennon, high, wrote Imagine, and then Strawberry Fields and Revolution." "Okay, John Lennon, straight, on his last album, wrote a three-minute song about baking' a loaf of bread." "I repeat..." "Baking a loaf of bread." "Okay, he'd gotten so boring, if Mark David Chapman hadn't shot him," "Yoko probably would've." "Guys, it's not gonna work." "It's called sex and drugs and rock and roll." "It's not, you know, yeast and water and dinner rolls." "Name one great band or rock star that doesn't get high." " Coldplay." " Morrissey." "Radiohead?" "I rest my case." "Okay?" "God, every time I hear a Radiohead song" "I feel like I'm failing the SATs all over again." "And listen, guys, I've never written a song without some kind of chemical assistance, ever." "John, roll the dice." "See what happens." "Do it for me, Dad." "God." "Maybe you guys are right." "Maybe it's time..." "Time to try something else." "I'll give it a shot." "Yep." "Hey!" "Okay, I cleaned out the hard liquor today, except for all of this wine, and I am going to drink every single bottle because I love you, honey." "Proud of you, Dad." "Where are you sleeping?" "I'll be guarding the front door." "How do I know that for sure?" "Well, if you wake up later and manage to slip out to a bar, that means I'm sleeping in Gigi's room." "Which means he won't be sleeping." "Which means I'll be sitting in that chair right over there." "Which means you can watch." "Ooh." "Why are you such a drag, man?" "I'm a drag?" "You hit the lottery here, asshole." "I mean, Mickey split 'cause family's not her bag, but Ava... she obviously digs this setup." "In spite of yourself, your ego, your drug abuse, you end up with a smokin'-hot chick who loves you, your old band back together again, and a super talented daughter who just might drive your ass back into actual show business." "Yeah, if my songwriting partner and lead guitar player doesn't blow it all up by sleeping with her first." "Hey, man, there's a genuine connection between me and Gigi." "Yeah, there's a genuine connection between her ass and your pants." "There's a ton of great long-term couples in the history of rock and roll whose sexual chemistry made the bands even better." "There's only one..." "Hall Oates." "Kim Gordon, Thurston Moore." "Who no longer speak to each other or anybody else in their band." "I don't care what period in rock and roll you want to talk about..." "Sonny and Cher, ABBA, Blondie," "The White Stripes, Sonic Youth?" "It never works out." "The Benatars." "Pat Benatar?" "Her and her husband, longtime songwriting partner, lead guitar player." "35 years, going strong." "And his name is?" "Ben?" "Ben Benatar?" "No, it..." "I mean, Pat." "They're both named Pat." "His name is Neil Giraldo, also known as the guy standing behind Pat Benatar that nobody pays attention to, also known as Mr. Pat Benatar." "But look at the bright side, you know, if you do sleep with Gigi and then the band breaks up and she leaves you behind, you got a great name for a chain of hair salons." "Mr. Gigi's." "Hey." "What about that?" "No." "Got nothin'." "I can't tell if you're joking or not." "You guys wanted me clean and sober." "Can you stop doing the pen thing?" "How's it goin'?" "Do you want some weed?" "Not funny." "You want me to do the pen thing again?" "Radiohead to Morrissey?" "All righty." "That's what you asked for." "* No *" "* It's not your fault *" "* No *" "* If I die then I die *" "* If I don't, then I don't *" "* Don't eat meat *" "* I'm all alone *" "* Crying in the dark *" "* Standing in the park *" "* Asking a fatty for a cigarette *" "* Don't eat meat *" "* No *" "* Don't eat meat *" " You don't have any drugs?" " Nope." " At all?" " None." " Secret stash of weed?" " Nada." "Couple of Vicodins maybe?" "I have a ton of Inderal." "I'll take some of that." "What does that do?" " It's my heart medication." " Jesus Christ." "Helps with my arrhythmia." "You don't have any pain killers or anything?" "Listen to me, you're just jonesing." "It will pass." "You don't take anything anymore?" " I take yoga." " God." "What, you can't picture me doing yoga?" "No, no..." "I can picture you doing yoga, but getting that picture out of my head is another reason I need chemical assistance." "Jesus, you in yoga pants?" "Man camel toe... bameltoe?" "No, no thank you." "That's a four-Jameson job right there." "Have you ever heard of "The Art of Now"?" "Is it an Art Tatum record?" "No, it's a life movement." "Breathe." "Flow." "Engage." "So it's a Sting record." "You need to get open, John." "The answers to these questions that you're asking yourself..." "They don't lie at the bottom of a bottle or the end of a rolled-up dollar bill." "You know where they lie?" "Right here." "You got to cure the addiction." "I did." "And so can you, and I can help you, brother." "The booze, the blow, the weed..." "They were all emotional crutches for me, until I cast them aside and learned to walk again, a free, clear, fully grown man." "Yes!" "Bang, bang." "Hot, hot, hot." "Hot... ooh." "Watch out, watch out." "Are those tater tots?" "No." "These are gluten-free tater tots." "Can you get me the ketchup?" "Top shelf." "I can't reach." "Hot, hot." "Hey, Rehab." "How you doing?" "What?" "Nothing, just checking on how you're doing and what's going on." " I'm fine." " Cool." "New axe?" "'Cause it's..." "It's killer." "Same one I played in the Heathens." "I..." "It's just that it's so..." "You keep it so, you know, shiny, it just looks like... brand-new." "I just..." "I don't understand." "There's always this weird, you know, like, vibe between us." "I don't..." "I don't know why." "Which one, like, the anger vibe or the animosity vibe?" " I - don't have any drugs." "Who said anything about drugs, dude?" "I can't just walk in here and tell my favorite bass player of all time, which is what..." "Bam texted me 30 seconds ago." "I know you have pills in one of these bags here, man, so don't tell me that you don't?" "They're prescription pills prescribed by my doctor" " for very specific reasons." " Yeah." "Come on, Johnny!" "Listen to me." "Jesus, what's your doctor's name, Duane Reade?" "This is what keeps me clean and sober." "I'll bet." "What the hell are they all for, dude?" "Well, these kill panic." "These kill anxiety." "These keep me from killing myself." "These keep me from killing you." "These keep the voices at bay." "You hear voices?" "I do." "I hear voices." "Do you want to know what they're saying?" ""Give Johnny some Percocets"?" "These voices are from a very old age, my friend, and they wish to sing, so I wrote them a song cycle." "What do you mean, like, a..." "Like a rock opera?" "Rock operas ain't hip no more, bro." "Song cycles..." "Uber hip." "Yeah, right." "I forgot we live in Brooklyn." "Dig this." "It's about the famine." "The famine?" "Ireland, 1845." "The awful blight upon the potato crop?" "It's called An Gorta Mor." "Is that, like, the name of the main guy, like Tommy?" "An Gorta Mor is Gaelic for "the great hunger."" " You want to hear it?" " Now?" "No, you don't want to hear it." "No, no, I do." "No, this is what I'm talking about." "You are dismissive of me." "Back in the day, you and Flash never let me contribute songs to the Heathens." " I know..." " Not once." " That was a big mistake." " You diminished me." "You treated me like a second-class citizen." "Entwistle had songs with The Who!" "Paul McCartney was the bass player!" "Paul Simonon sang lead on Guns of Brixton!" "God knows why, but Rehab wants to sing a song, forget it!" " Verboten." "God forbid." " No, no, no, no." "Listen, I want you to contribute." "That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about." "I want you involved, you know, I totally..." "I want to hear the..." "What's it called, the song..." " Cycle." " Cycle, yes, yes." "Cool." "Want to hear all 29 songs?" "You've wrote 29 songs about the potato famine?" "Three million people died." "On an island surrounded by fish." "It lasted eight years." "You got to really hate fish to not eat 'em for eight years, Re, I mean..." "They couldn't afford to build boats, and the entire third hour of the cycle is about that..." "Third hour?" "Is the cycle longer than the actual famine?" "You just hear the first number, and you tell me whether or not it's right for Gigi." "What's it called?" "Bloody English Horse." "You might have to give me something to help me, you know, focus." "How about an Adderall?" "What does it do?" "It's got a cocaine-type high, lasts for five hours." "Yes, perfect." "One Adderall, coming up." "Nice." "* Decaying while we're left to die *" "* Clouds of death are in the sky *" "* This blight on our potatoes *" "It's good." "I think I'm gonna probably need another one of these just to get... you know, really focus in on it." "You're Irish, man." "These are your people." " You should know about this." " Well, you're Jewish." "Shouldn't you be writing about the Holocaust?" "The Holocaust." "It's got such a History Channel vibe now." "Yeah." "Right." "* And death and death and death *" "Hi." "This isn't gonna work." "I know, right, so we'll just get rid of the blow, and I'll just do the booze and the weed." "You're right... no weed." "Just the booze." "You have to get clean, Dad." "I'm dead serious." "I can tell, you haven't looked at your phone in, like, four seconds." "Do you care about me or not?" "You can tell me." "If you don't care about me," " you can tell me." " Honey, of course I care about you." "Why would I get the band back together again" " if I didn't care about you?" " You care about me because, you know, you think that I might be, like, your last way back into show business or because I'm might make you a ticket or two." "A ticket is a million cash." "I know what a ticket is." "I'm hip." "I use..." "I say tickets." " Know what's funny?" " All the time." "I've actually never heard you say ticket." "Well, you've only known me for, like, a couple..." "Whose fault is that?" "Listen, I moved here to find you, okay?" "I moved all of us in together because I don't want to be alone." "It's scary for me." "Well, honey... it's pretty scary for me too." "I didn't know that this was gonna happen." "I'm just trying to get used to it, you know?" "Honey, I'm not just doing this, you know, like, some addict." "I'm an artist." "The reason that I drink and I do drugs is because it unleashes my subconscious when I'm writing songs." "And the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is full of people who do that, okay?" "I mean, I don't want you doing it." "You don't drink or do drugs, right?" " No." " Good." "Glad to hear it." "Why not?" "Because I'm a singer, Dad." "My voice is my instrument." "Right, and I'm a songwriter, and I need it." "I don't want you doing it 'cause it would destroy your voice, but for me, it's necessary." "Yeah, well, it might destroy the few brain cells you have left." "And your relationship with your only daughter." "This is a wake-up call, Dad." "You missed the first 20 years of my life." "I think that it would be nice if you were around for the next 20." "Okay." "I get it." "Can I ask you one thing?" "Don't date Flash." "Yeah... no, you have no say in that." "I'm..." "Hey, I date who I want to date." "Maybe if I had a father who cared" "I wouldn't be so hung up on father figures." " Give me the pills." " What pills?" " The pills in your hand." " Give me the pills." "Okay, there are two." "Thank you." "* *" "* *" "All right, guys, so it's not done, by any means." "It's just a verse and a beginning of a chorus, so..." "Here goes." "* *" "* I stand alone in the city of lights *" "* I stand alone tonight *" "* *" "* I hear the moaning of the misbegotten souls *" "* Mining sinner's gold *" "* *" "* Mining sinner's gold *" "* *" "* Mining sinner's gold *" "* *" "* Mining sinner's gold *" "* *" "* Mining sinner's gold *" "What'd you think?" "I'll go get some whiskey." "Who's got weed?" "My pill bag is in the van." "I've got a one-hitter." "Colorado shit." "Better get some vodka too." "You know what, if he's gonna get high, he's gonna get hungry..." "I'll get some pizza." "But I thought my health was the most important thing." "Dad, that song sounded like something that Sting would write if he was living inside Sarah McLachlan's vagina." "You need to get high." "But no more blow..." "that's over." "Baby, I got some Darvon in the medicine cabinet." "Help yourself." "Okay..." "Sorry, guys." "I-I did my best." "Yes!" "Hello, Darvon." "* I saw the living, dying, and the nearly dead *" "* *" "* People fighting for a tiny crust of bread *" "* *" "* Potatoes once of brown and gold *"

"I think I'm gonna die." "You wanted a birthday party." "What's that old expression?" " Never mix bourbon with champagne?" " No." "Jews can't drink." "Honey, how 'bout I take the boys to school?" "Bless you." "Where we goin'?" "Daddy's office!" " Who wants Daddy's briefcase?" " Me, me, me!" "Run to the car." "Run to the car." "Run to the car." "Oop." "Watch yourself." " Wait." " Bye, Mommy." "I love you!" "Say bye to Mommy." "Bye, Mommy!" "Bye." "Be good boys." " Love you." " I love you too." "Okay." "Let's go to work." "Get in there." "Get in the car." "You get in that car." "Okay." "Sit down, boys." "Here we go." "Bye!" "See you when we come back today." "Hey." "Hey, Mr. Kramer." "Daddy's office!" "Daddy's office!" "Everybody out." "Close that door." "Attaboy." "Okay." "Everybody in." "Let's go." "Gotta go all the way." "Hey, big stinky earplug!" "Hey, big stinky man!" "Who is it?" "So far, all that's been recovered are the bodies..." " Of two small children, their identity unknown." " Stand back." "The service is now completed." "Goddamn you!" "You're murderers!" "You're filthy murderers!" "And you know it!" "You're murderers, all of you!" "Tell us why you did it." "You killed my boys!" "You killed my boys!" "You murderer!" "You filthy murderer!" "You killed my boys, Cayhall!" "Have you lost your mind?" "No, I'm very serious." "I want the Cayhall case." "What do you know about the death penalty?" " I've read everything there is." " Then you know nothing." "I know that you took Sam Cayhall pro bono, and you've kept him alive all these years." "And I also know that he just won the right to fire you." "Would you mind telling me how you know that?" "I made it my business." "And do you know the reason why he fired me?" "He hates lawyers." "Then why in the world would he hire you?" "Go back to your office." "We both have better things to do." "Sam Cayhall is my grandfather." "Wow." "We have a relationship with Williams and Cook in Jackson." "I could work out of that office." "I also know you have great contacts at Parchment Prison." "A word from you wouldn't hurt there either." "I take it Hall is not your real name, then." "My parents changed it from Cayhall after the murders." "Do you still have family down there?" "I have an aunt in Jackson." "I told her I might be down on business." "Does she know what this business is?" "I'll tell her when I get there." "You Cayhalls are big on secrets." " Did you ever actually meet your grandfather?" " No." " Did they tell you he existed?" " I found out at my father's funeral." " When was that?" " 1980." "Same year Sam was sentenced to die." " Yes, sir." " Your father must have been a very young man." "Thirty-five years, four months, six days." "Perhaps I shouldn't have asked." "It's not a big deal." "I was 52 years old the first time I handled a death row case." "I didn't sleep for a week afterwards." " I don't sleep as it is." " Mmm." "You open up passions no one wants uncovered, and you are not welcomed." "For one terrible moment," "Sam Cayhall is gonna be the most talked-about man in the country." "Mr. Goodman, I've been living with this case, one way or another, my whole life." " To do so officially might actually be a relief." " The odds of winning... are a joke; you don't have a chance in hell." "I'm going, Mr. Goodman, with or without your help." "Call me from Jackson." "Don't thank me." "I have not done you a favor." "Did he do it?" "Oh, he did it." "There's no question that he did it." "Your attention please." "The Mississippi Scenic Cruiser for downtown Jackson... is now boarding in the blue zone." " Good afternoon, sir." "Good to see you, sir." " Thanks." "You look like a mendicant Indian." "Where is your luggage?" "Jessie, help Mr. Hall with..." "Actually, I'm gonna stay in a, uh, hotel near the courts." "Um..." "I'm gonna be up all night, workin' long hours, so..." "Oh, well, honey." "Whatever you like." "I love you, you hear?" "Now you go freshen up and hurry down." "I have the mothers... of the only 12 remaining virgins in all of Jackson... just panting to meet you." "L-I really don't think I'm gonna have too much time for socializing." "You must regale us all with tales of what it is that brings you here." "I'm guessing it's to use your lawyerly charms... to separate our local fat cats from their ill-gotten fortunes." "You should start with my cranky old husband." "He deserves a good comeuppance." " Lee." " Yes." "I'm here to defend your father." " Look, I understand that..." " You understand nothing." "Don't you utter one word to anyone." " Lee." " Not one word." "You hear?" "Good night." "Call me tomorrow." " I will." " All right." "Bye." " Lovely party, dear." " Oh, thank you." "Don't forget we have the museum on Thursday." " Good night, Adam." " Good night." "Good luck." "Phelps lives in town." "Oh, it's okay." "We have a very active romantic life." "Just not with each other." "Why stay married?" "Good for a banker to have someone acceptable for social occasions." "And it's good for you to have a banker." "Done pretty well for poor white trash." "Don't you think?" "Not bad." "Not bad at all." "Of course, how acceptable I'm gonna be... when the world finds out I'm Hitler's daughter is another question." "It's all right." "It's under control." "Nobody knows?" "Well, I was speakin' of my drinkin'." "But no." "No one knows." "I left home when I was 18, changed my name, met Phelps, eloped." "We told his family my father was dead." "Soon that won't be a lie." "You talk about Sam like he means nothing to you." "Well, occasionally, if I'm havin' a good day... and the sun is shinin'," "I might think of him and remember some small, pleasant moment from my earliest days." "The way he'd call me sweet baby girl." "But mostly I remember how he destroyed absolutely everyone... who made the mistake of getting close to him." "He'll do it to you too, you know." "Be very careful dredging the past, Adam." "You might not like what comes up." "I'm here to see Sam Cayhall." " Briefcase." " Oh." "Spread your legs, please." " Sergeant Packer." " Adam Hall." "This way, please." " Not a good day to see Sam." " Why is that?" "Prison attorney just called." "Judge ruled." "He dies in 28 days." "I'll get Sam." "This way." "Catch up." "I'm gonna lock this door." "Sam'll be in, in a minute." "Thanks." " Move on." " Get out." "Who the hell are you?" "Adam Hall." "I'm a lawyer with Kravitz and Bane, Chicago." "You Jew boys never quit, do you?" "I'm not Jewish." "How can you work for Kravitz and Bane?" " Well, we're an equal opportunity employer." " Really?" "I know you got about 150 partners up there." "How many of 'em are women?" "I don't really know." "Maybe a dozen." "Oh, so you got less than ten percent women." "How many nigger partners you got?" "We have four African-American partners." "Well, that's nice." "How many Jewish-American partners you got?" " About 80 %?" " I don't really know." "It doesn't make a difference to me." "Well, it makes a big difference to me." "I was always embarrassed to be represented by such blatant bigots." "Yeah." "Well, I think a lot of people would probably find it appropriate." " Why are you so nervous?" " I'm not nervous." "You afraid I'm gonna come through that screen and get you?" "How many death penalty cases have you handled?" "This is my first." "Oh, great." "The Jew bastards sent a greenhorn to save me." "I killed some of their people, and now they wanna kill me." "I always expected it." "You admit that you killed the Kramer kids?" "Who the hell are you to ask me a question like that?" "The jury said I did it." "The appeals court said the jury was right." "That's all that matters." "How old are you, there, Mr. Hall?" "Twenty-six." " I'd like to go over your legal position..." " Born in '69." "That's correct." "Looking at your legal position, I've come up with..." " Where?" " In Memphis." " L..." "Listen, I'd prefer to stick to the, uh..." " You grew up there, did you?" "I grew up in a lot of places, mainly southern California." "Mm-hmm." "Your family still there?" "Mom's remarried;" "and she lives in Portland." "And your sister." "I believe her name would be Carmen." "College." "Berkeley." "How did you know?" "The voice." "You sound just like your daddy." "Why'd you come here?" "He sent me." "I don't have a choice." "But I am gonna save you." " Save me?" " Yeah." "This from the son of a man that blew his own brains out?" "Go to hell, you little piece of shit." "You know who you're talkin' to?" "Save me?" "Why, shit." "You don't look like you could save a turkey from Thanksgiving." "Go on, get the hell outta here." "Try to save your own sorry ass." "I am the only person on this earth who gives a damn whether you live or die." "Now, you are gonna sign this contract agreeing to be my client, or you will be dead in 28 days." "We're all a bit taken aback at how huge this case has suddenly become." "Uh, what's so huge about it?" "Oh, I know the Clarion-Ledger is not the Chicago Tribune, but in our small pond, it's everything." "Uh, I'm lost." "Certainly you've seen today's paper." "Thanks very much." "This'll be just fine." "You let us know if we can do anything more for you." "Why do you want the right to terminate my representation without a fight?" "It took me a long time to fire those Jew bastards the last time." "I won't go through that again." " All right, that's reasonable." " I don't care if you think it's reasonable or not." "It's in the agreement, and it's nonnegotiable." "Moving right along." "Well, this is ridiculous." "No clemency." "If the appeals process fails, we're going to have to go... to Governor McAllister as a last resort, so that... to preclude clemency at that point would be suicidal." "If I could take David McAllister into the chamber with me," "I'd die with a smile." "I was tried;" "I was retried." "I got a hung jury both times." "I was free." "I was a free man for 12 years." "And then that sleazy son of a bitch McAllister... used me to get hisself elected." "No deals with the governor." "Fine." "All right." "Why did you become a Klansman?" "Because my daddy was in the Klan." " Why did your daddy become a Klansman?" " His daddy was in the Klan." " Great." "We got three generations, huh?" " No." "Four." "Colonel Jacob Cayhall fought with Nathan Bedford Forrest in the war." "And family legend has it that he was one of the first members of the Klan." "So let me see." "I guess that'd make him... your great-great-great-granddaddy." "Do you expect me to feel proud about that?" "I don't give a damn how you feel." "I'm just telling you who you are." "Isn't that why you're here?" "All right, the Kramer twins was the fifth bombing." "What about the real estate office in Jackson?" "Well, I lost my virginity on that one." "It was a crude little thing with just some sticks and a fuse." " The newspaper office?" " A real fireball." " The Hirsch Temple?" " Best one yet." "The Kramer office?" " It was a good bomb." "But I never meant to kill anybody." " Really?" "You bombed the Pinder house and there were six people sleeping there." "But nobody got hurt, 'cause I planted the bomb in the garage." "I don't make fancy bombs." "They're just simple little things." "But I know where to put them." "Like I told you, I never meant to kill anybody." "And the twins?" "Casualties of war." "The father losing his legs?" "Killing himself?" "I don't wanna talk about this." "Are you hiding something from me?" "I wouldn't advise it." "I got nothin' to hide." "I did what I had to do." "The Klan was at war." "We would've won too, but we started bombing the Jews." "With all their money they got the F.B.I., and they beat us." "We should've just stayed to whipping' up on the niggers." "The world would've been a different place." "Yeah, you can pretend you're all offended by this." "But deep down inside, we both know... that there's a part of you agrees with me." "That's bullshit." "Why you gettin' so touchy?" "What're you hidin'?" " I'm not hidin' a thing." " Like hell you're not." "You're drivin' your car and some drunk jungle-bunny cuts you off, his ghetto music blastin'." "What do you think?" "Why you darn African-American." "No." "You think nigger." "If you had any guts, you'd say so." "I'm gonna come back tomorrow." "I hurt your little feelings, have I?" "Huh?" "What'd you expect to find here?" "OI' Grandpa Do-Good?" "Expect me to go all blubbery and kiss your behind..." "And sing psalms of forgiveness?" " I don't know what I expected." " Sure, you did." "Grandson." "Hi." "I'm Nora Stark, Attorney Hall." "I kind of clean up after Governor McAllister." " Adam, please." " Adam it shall be." " Adam, please." " Adam it shall be." "I'm very curious, Adam." "Are you aware that the identical points raised... in the pending ineffective counsel petition... were turned down by Texas just last month?" "Actually I am." "It's my opinion, though, that Texas is miles ahead of Mississippi in many things, including stupidly." " I'm optimistic." " Morning, Counsel." " Good morning, Your Honor." " Good morning." "This is serious business." "Ultimate, irreversible punishment of a fellow human." "And time is the purest gold." "When do you plan to file an appeal?" "Oddly, I had planned on waiting for the court to issue a ruling... before appealing it," "Your Honor." "However, if, as expected, uh..." "Thursday." " And the state's response?" " We agree." " Yes." " Assuming young counsel opposite will not be introducing..." " Additional issues on this appeal." " Obviously not." "Uh, Friday... morning." "You'll have my decision Friday." "Can the court expect additional filings?" "Are you asking me my legal strategy, Your Honor?" "Not at all, sir." "But I'm thrilled to know you have one." "You're all dismissed." "Now." "Carl." "How are you?" "Adam." "Clemency?" " I'm contractually bound not to ask." " You haven't." "But you will." "You see, the governor's a very open-minded man." "He's not precluding anything." "You becoming' a lawyer must've made Sam proud." "Well, Governor, you should be familiar with his view of the profession." "However, I'd just as soon keep this discussion... on the issue and, as agreed, off the record." "I understand you're reconsidering the state-sanctioned murder... of my client." " Adam, would you mind?" " No, sir." "Adam, I obviously worked very hard and am extremely proud... to have won a conviction where two previous prosecutors have failed." "However, while I have no doubt Sam Cayhall is guilty as charged," "I have always found it very difficult to believe he acted alone." "And as you know, he's never been inclined to help himself in that regard." "Wh-What exactly are you saying?" "Is there something specific you know about?" "No." "Certainly not." "I just wanna make sure justice is served." "I see." "So if I should somehow learn..." "Adam, I take my power to decide... whether a fellow human should live or die very seriously." "If I could somehow be convinced your client felt the same way..." "I'm sorry to rush." "Nora, please help out Mr. Hall in every way we can." " It was lovely to meet you." " Nice to meet you." "Let me guess." "You're not convinced he's sincere." " Allow me a touch of healthy skepticism." " But of course." "However, off the record and on the issue, you've been given the opportunity to provide the governor with a cover." " Love politics." " Because if he stays the execution without a reason, he looks to the left like a friend of the old guard." "He looks to the right like he's soft on crime." "And given it was he who personally won the conviction in the first place, he looks to the world like a big flip-flop." "But if I come up with new information, it gives him an excuse to follow his conscience." "Let's just say it expands his options." "So to facilitate that, you've been assigned my new best friend." " Something like that." " Well, pal, I plan on winning this one in the courts." " Even better." " It's not gettin' to the governor." "Now you're talkin'." "If you need any help at all, that's home, that's office." "Call me." "I found this in my motel room last night." "Welcome to Dixie." "Please try and leave everything as you found it." "Sounds like good manners to me." "It was attached to the timer of a fake bomb." "What?" "Wh-What do you think I should do about it?" "I don't give a damn." "I'm thinkin' about... how that gas they're gonna force me to sniff... makes your lungs explode and come flyin' out your mouth." "What motions you plannin' to file?" "We're gonna pursue cruel and unusual." "Aw, three years at Michigan Law, and that sorry idea's the best you got?" "In 1984, the legislature passed a law changing the method of execution... from the gas chamber to lethal injection." "And that law only applies to folks sentenced after 1984." "I was sent up here in 1980." " Now, what the hell's your point?" " I see that you're up on the law." "I read all the decisions by all the dead judges." "Same as you." " I write some writs for guys on the row." " You gotten any stays yet?" "Then keep your matchbook law school advice to yourself, and let me do my job." "By changing the lethal injection to a more humane method, the state admitted de facto... that the gas chamber is a cruel method of execution." "May I remind counsel, speaking as the gasee," "I'll be just as dead one way as the other?" "Sooner or later, yeah." "But I'll take later as a win." "I'm bursting with confidence!" "I been losing better appeals than this for 16 years." "I feel like those white guys..." "always lose to the nigger Globetrotters." "Why didn't my dad get infected with this crap?" "Oh, we're gonna have our Eddie talk now, hmm?" "I'd be careful." "Well, you destroyed him." "I mean, you must feel pretty good about that." "I destroyed nothing." "He never tried to understand the Klan." " We were right." " Oh, you still think you were right?" "AIDS and drugs and bastard children." " Killer bees?" " They come from Africa!" " South America." "But that's probably close enough for you." " Why're you doin' this?" " 'Cause my life would be easier if I could just hate you." "But you can't, can you?" "'Cause I'm just too lovable." "Well, I'm workin' on it." "Christ, your father kills himself in front of you when you're ten years old, and then you find out Grandpa's still alive." "Great!" "Except that he's a racist, scumbag, baby-killer!" " Why is that not comforting?" " Oh, stop." "You're breakin' my heart." "It was your hate that drove him away, wasn't it?" "Eddie was weak." "I never laid a hand on him." "Never got after him." "Never cared who his friends were." "Not even Quince." "Who?" "Qu-Quince Lincoln, a nigger kid Eddie used to play with." " Wait a second." "I've heard that name before." " L-lt don't mean nothin'." "Quince Lincoln." "He used to mention that name." "He'd have these spells." " He'd be in his room for three days mumbling some story..." " Sergeant Packer!" " About Quince Lincoln." " It don't mean nothin'." "Shut up about it." " No." "Who's..." " It don't mean nothin'!" "Shut up about it!" "Let's go, Sam." "Come on." " Yeah." " Were you asleep?" " No, I'm up." " Don't ask me how I know, but the court's going to reject ineffective counsel." "Yeah, I expected that." "Uh, well, I'll be ready to file the appeal in New Orleans... the minute the court here rules." "I'll expect your first draft in the morning." "Good night." " Hello." " Nora." " Hi." " Does the offer to help still stand?" "Sure." "I need to track down the F.B.I. agent who was in charge of Sam's case." "Sam was of no concern to us, you understand?" "He wasn't active in the really nasty stuff, so we weren't keeping close track of him." "When did that change?" "When the civil rights workers disappeared, Hoover sent us in with a fury." "We spread money all over the place." "Those people were basically just ignorant rednecks, you know." "Didn't have a dime." " So we preyed on their craving for money." " Uh-huh." "Go on." "Hey." "There's some things I can talk about and there's some things I can't talk about." "And there's some things I won't talk about, because I don't like you lawyers twisting the truth, getting killers off on some legal technicality." "That's bullshit." "Besides, it's too late for new information, kid." "The courts won't hear it." "You know that." "The courts don't have the final say in this case." "Besides, you say he wasn't involved in the nasty stuff." "There's no way he meant to kill." "Of course he meant to kill." "Marvin Kramer was a creature of habit." "He was in that office every morning before 8:00." "The bomb went off straight up at 8:00." "The timer was set for 8:00." "That was never introduced at trial." "Hey, I can't help it if the damn lawyers didn't make use of it." "It was in our report." "Well, I'd like to see that report." "Well, I can't help you there." "I'm just a fisherman now, who'd just as soon see him gassed." "I've been around those violent assholes all my life." "Let them taste the other end of violence." "See how brave they are without their hoods." "You know what I'm talking about." "Why would our F.B.I. friend not wanna tell us something about a 30-year-old case?" "'Cause you're in Mississippi now." "Land of the secrets." "There are bodies buried everywhere." "But no one's trying to hide anything about Sam." "They don't have to." "He did it." "They just don't want you sifting through the ashes, 'cause they're not sure what else you might turn up." " Who is they?" " Everyone." "No one." "What difference does it make?" "Well, maybe a lot." "I mean, take you, for instance." "Are you really here to help me?" "Or did they assign you to spy on me?" "You ever heard of the Sovereignty Commission?" " Vaguely." " Well, it doesn't exist anymore." "They started it in the '50s." "It was an official state agency dedicated to states' rights, i.e., fighting civil rights." "Some people think it was actually coordinating all of the white citizens' councils." " What were those?" " Every town had one." "A local group of respectable white people... professional types, pillars of their community... who told the Klan what to do." "So somebody like Sam wasn't even making decisions." "Like our F.B.I. friend said, they were poor, uneducated bigots who couldn't find their butts with a map." " The citizens' councils used them to do their dirty work." " And the Sovereignty Commission?" "They kept the records." " Sam, please sign this." " I ain't signing' nothin'." "The files are sealed by the state legislature;" "as a defendant on death row, you and only you can apply to have your files opened." "You're set to die in 20 days." "This might help." " Help him, maybe." "Not me." " Help who?" "The governor, you dumb ass." "Can't you see it?" "He can't open the files hisself, so he gets you to do it for him." "Why?" "To help me?" "He put me here." "Nah." "He's just fishin' for what every politician wants:" "dirt on their enemies." "What's in those files, Sam?" "Nothin' for you." "No, it's just stuff they'd use to twist around and hurt my people." "I'm your people." "Don't you get it?" "I am." "You ain't my real people." "You ain't never met my real people." "I don't know how they got the story." "It's only a matter of time before they get around to me." "I am sorry." "But I might be onto something." "I'm following some leads from way back." "For God's sake, Adam." "Leave it alone." "Lee, I really think I can save him." "Ever occur to you he might not be worth savin'?" " You can't mean that." " All right, Adam." "You wanna know about the past?" "I'll tell you about the past." "This was my tree." "My own... laurel tree." "I was up there." "Your father was there, with Quince." "They were eight." "Maybe they were nine." "And they were best friends." "They were fightin' and kickin', and they made so much noise Daddy heard... and come out to see what all the ruckus was." "You hear me?" "Go on." "Go on." "Get on home!" "Quince's father did day work for Daddy." "His name was Joe." "Daddy never was very handy at mechanical things, so Joe fixed things for us;" "he made things." "H-He was here, all the time." "So then Quince came back with his father." "My boy, Quince, said you been beatin' on him." "They fought so hard." "Like animals." "At one point, Daddy grabbed the rake." "And things got out of hand." "He knocked Joe over." "Joe fell to the ground." "And he yelled for Quince to run get his shotgun." "Go get my shotgun!" "Sam told Eddie to go get his." "Eddie froze." "But Daddy made him go." "Joe... was here." "Daddy was there." " Get in the house." "Go on." " Joe waited for his gun." "H-He kept lookin' around." "Sam had his." "And then my dear, sweet father..." "This... was Mississippi... in the early '50s." "Daddy said self-defense." "He was never even so much as arrested." "What were my dad a-and Quince fighting' about?" "A toy soldier." "Eddie thought Quince had stolen it." "That night he found it under his bed." "He took the weight of the world on his shoulders." "And then he said..." "I... had killed Joe Lincoln too." "He said if I had cried out for Daddy to stop, no way would he have fired." "Not with his sweet baby girl watching'." "Of course he was right." "It was my fault too." "It's mine!" "Get on home!" "Quince!" "Quince!" "Help me, Quince." "Get my shotgun!" "Daddy wasn't very handy with mechanical things." "Jesus!" "The superintendent asked if you've been thinkin' about your last meal." " Mmm." " Special requests can take time." "Yeah, I want, uh... a bowl of Eskimo Pies and French Market coffee." "It shall be done." "There's been five executions since you been here, Sam." "You know anything about any problems with any of 'em?" "Come on." "They all died within 50 feet of me." "Everybody on the row knows everything about every killing'." "Tell me about Teddy Meeks, then." "I want to hear every detail." "They didn't know what they were doin'." "Everything went wrong." "Have you seen the chamber?" " Not yet." " Well, there's a little room off to one side... where the executioner goes to mix up his solution of sulfuric acid." "With Meeks, the executioner was drunk." " Come on." " He was drunk." "Anyway." "His first batch of brew didn't work." "And Meeks held his breath for as long as he could." "Then he inhaled and nothin' happened." "So they waited." "Meeks waited." "The witnesses waited." "And slowly, they turned toward the executioner, who's waitin' and cussin'." "He finally goes back to his little room;" "he mixes up another batch of sulfuric acid and pulls the lever." "This time the sulfuric acid drops down where it's supposed to." "Pulls the second lever, dropping' the cyanide pellets." "Sure enough, this gas starts drifting' upward... to where old Teddy is holdin' his breath again." "So finally he sucks in a whole nose full of it... and starts shakin' and jerkin'." "Well, somewhere or another there's a... a metal pole... that runs from the top of the chamber down to the bottom, and it's right directly behind the... the chair." "And..." "And just about the time Meeks got real still... and everybody thought he was dead, his head starts bangin' back and forth against that pole." "Just beating' the hell out of it like that." "His eyes rolled up in his head, and his lips opened up real wide." "And he was foaming' at the mouth." "And there he was, just bangin' the back of his head against that pole." "It was sick." "How long did it take them to kill him?" "According to the prison doctor, death was instant and painless." "Packer told me it was the longest five minutes of his life." "The guy convulsed and heaved... and pounded his skull for so long... that pieces of his brain was flyin' out the top of his head." "How does this lever they pull activate the cyanide canister?" " What?" " The lever." "Does it work with hinges or springs?" " I don't know." " Well, is it just gravity that's forcing it down?" "Well, how in the hell would I know that?" "Just thought you had an aptitude for this sort of thing." "Well, sue me." "I'm not mechanical." "That's what Lee said." "But you were handy enough to build a bomb to kill the Kramer twins." "Son of a bitch." "Is that what this is all about?" "You must've stayed up all night thinking of this one." "Sorry, bubba." "I hate to disappoint you," " But, uh, bombs ain't that complicated." " They couldn't be that easy." " I wouldn't know how to do it." " That's 'cause you're not motivated." "By the time I did Kramer, I had it down real simple." "So just because you're an anti-Semite, you know how to build a bomb, strategically place it on the second story, light a fuse, and then get out of there without any risk to yourself." "Plenty of risk." "Not much glory." "And it was the first floor." "The bomb went off below 'em." "Check the F.B.I. report." " I did." " What did it say?" "Bomb went off below 'em." "Thank you very much." "Anything else I can help you with?" " How long was the fuse?" " For Pete's sake." "You know, it happened a long time ago." "L-I'm an old man." "My memory isn't that perfect." "Get off my back, here." "Will you?" "Oh, I'm sure you can remember killing two little children." "Long enough for me to get the hell out of there." "Okay?" "Except for one thing." "The bomb didn't have a fuse." "It had a timer." " What are you sayin'?" " I'm sayin' you weren't alone." "There was somebody else." "There's not a chance in hell you could have built a timing device by yourself." "The F.B.I., they searched your house, your... your garage." "They didn't find a single trace of explosives anywhere." "Well, maybe they're stupid." "Maybe I was just real careful and didn't leave a trail." "Yeah." "And maybe someone else planted the bomb." "You have no idea what you're doin'." "Just hear me out." "Sam couldn't construct a timer." "His bombs were crude." "They had fuses." "This one was different." "It was complex." " L-lt was timed." "It was timed to kill." " Okay." "Wait a minute." "Sam did not plant that bomb." "He did not kill those kids." "Wait!" "The Sovereignty Commission has a file on Sam." "It might tell who else was involved!" "Adam, just stop this." "Okay?" "Those files are sealed by the state legislature." "If your client won't sign, you cannot move the court to unseal them." " I bet you know a way we could take a peek at 'em." " No." " You said you wanted to help me." " I am." " Maybe you need to do more." " Maybe I can't do more." "Nora, if there's others, and you're involved in protecting them... I..." "Are you threatening me?" "I am pursuing the truth by any means necessary!" "Which includes..." "politely asking for your help." "In addition to appealing cruel and unusual, I wanna file a new motion." "About time you focused on the law, bubba." "I never stopped focusing on the law, bubba!" "But there is nothing that I will not pursue in order to get a stay, including proving that you're insane." " I'm insane?" " That's right." "I'm gonna argue that as a product of three generations of Klan mentality, your preconscious indoctrination into hate and distortion born of irrational fear... has resulted in diminished mental capacity to determine right from wrong." "You're gonna argue I'm insane because I held different political beliefs... than you and your father... in his naive, nigger-lovin', bleeding'-heart bullshit!" "Well, I probably won't use those exact words in my brief." "I'll just wait and see the psychiatrist's report." " Oh, I'm gonna see a psychiatrist, am I?" " That's right." "Mmm." "That's insane." "Killing two five-year-olds 'cause their father was working for civil rights is insane." "Never meant to kill those kids." "That's fine." "But it just happens to be the crime... which you're to be executed for in exactly 14 days." "Okay." "Good." "I need to go over some more family background with you." "I got some stuff from Lee, but there's a lot of holes in it." "She's going through a tough time right now." "I tried to call her when I saw this, but she didn't answer." "I think she's drinking again." "Did you know she's an alcoholic?" "Have you ever felt feelings of remorse for any of your crimes?" "No." "Have you ever apologized to your victim's family?" "No, what would be the point?" "What do you think would be the point?" "No point." "Packer." "I want you to know that when I talk about your people, I..." "Well..." "I hear you, Sam." "In your professional opinion, then, does Sam Cayhall... have anything that might even remotely be called a conscience?" "I found no evidence of one." "Dr. Biddows, in your opinion, is Sam Cayhall in touch with reality?" " No, he is not." " Thank you, Dr. Biddows." "No further questions, Your Honor." "What saith the state?" "The state calls Sergeant Clyde Packer." "Sergeant, would you inform this court how long... you have held your present position, please?" "Been running the row for 15 years, sir, and Sam's been with me the whole time." "And during this time have you ever observed Mr. Cayhall... demonstrate he might have a conscience?" "Cared about other people's feelings?" "Oh, yes, sir." "Everybody knows that Sam has a real bad attitude toward black folk." "But just the other night he told me to my face when he says stuff like that..." "Let's just say he tried to apologize." "And he didn't even get it all out." "And it sure don't make him no saint." "But, for Sam, that's a big deal." "He most certainly do has a conscience." "Yes, sir." "And during all this time that you been observing' Mr. Cayhall, would you say he knows what's goin' on around him?" "Would you say he's out of, uh, touch with reality?" "A couple of nights back, I was walkin' past, and he said, Clyde." "He never called me that before, so I knew it was important." "Could I help?" "With what, Sam?" "And he said, I wanna die alone." "And I wanna die in decent clothes." "And I wanna eat an Eskimo Pie." "And could I see a sunrise?" "I said, Last one's on me, Sam." "So I snuck him out, gave him a hour alone." "I watched through the inside." "I thought he might lose it once the sun started comin'." "See, it's been 15 or 16 years... since Sam last saw dawn break." "But he held together just fine." "In your opinion, based on your observations, is Sam Cayhall in touch with reality?" "Sam?" "You betcha." "Thank you, Sergeant Packer." " Thank you." " Tender the witness, Your Honor." "What's happenin' in the fifth circuit?" " Thumbs down on insanity later today." " Hi." " Hi." " There you are." "What's young Mr. Hall been up to?" " No change." " Try again." "What has he been workin' on?" " He's lookin' everywhere for new information." " What kind of information?" " Nora?" " Sir?" "You're not sleepin' with him, are you?" " No." " Then what kind of information?" " Anything, everything." "He's desperate." " Where is he lookin'?" " I don't know." " Well, find out." "Desperate people are dangerous." "Maybe you ought to be sleepin' with him." "Hey." " Can we talk?" " Sure." "Tammy?" "The Sovereignty Commission files the originals... under lock and key in the Hall of Records." "Why can't zoning reports wait for tomorrow?" " You ask the governor." "I like my job." " Nora." "Nora, Nora." "It's you that I'm scared of." "Bink, please." "I've gotta get this done tonight." "I'll lock up for you." "Our little secret." " You and me." "Have a good evenin'." " Uh-huh." "This way." "Shh." "Sovereignty Commissions." "White Citizen's Council, Indianola." "Go back." "M.K. situation should be followed through." " Marvin Kramer." " Or Martin King." "Law office, March 18." "It's Marvin Kramer." " When was the bombing?" " April 28." "Action agreed September 2." "I thought you said it was in April." "That's not a date." "That's nine to two." " Jesus Christ, they took a vote." " Oh, my God." " Commission assigned S.C." " Sam Cayhall." "What's R.W.?" "You mean, who's R.W." "Hi." "Thanks." "Truth time, Sam." "Five days." "We're firing everything we have up to the Supreme Court, but..." "I need to know who R.W. is." "Sam." "I saw the Commission's files." "You were with someone named R.W." "The two of you were assigned to bomb the Kramer office." "Assigned by the same people who took no responsibility for the death of those kids... and, as far as I can see, are gonna take no responsibility for you." "L-I believe you call these people cowards." "Why in God's name you feel compelled to protect them is beyond me." "First of all, you sniveling little son of a bitch, if you ever speak to me like this again, I'll rip your heart out and shove it up your butt." "Second, if you spent half as much time learning' to be a lawyer... instead of playin' Dick Tracy," "I might stand a chance of not bein' dead in five days." "As it stands right now, everything you tried has failed." "You've failed!" "Now I have to pay the price." "You're a failure!" "Just like your pathetic father was." "That son of a bitch didn't have the balls to live." "He was a loser and a quitter." "And he just gave his life away." "How dare he?" "What right did he have to do that?" "It wasn't his to give!" "I gave it to him!" " Hey, hey, Sam!" "His mama gave it to him!" "It was God's!" "He had no right!" "He just gave it away, goddamn it!" "You hear me?" "He gave it away!" " Why'd he do that?" " Come on." " Hi." "Is she home?" " Miss Lee's upstairs resting'." "She can't see you now." "Lee?" "Uh, where are you, Lee?" "Lee?" "Lee?" "Lee?" "Oh, Jesus." "Lucky little nephew." "Did I ever show you... my favorite old family picture?" "Come here." "I'm coming." "Mmm?" "I never kept an actual photo album." "Mostly because I never kept any actual photos." "Here." "Come here." "Here." "Now, there." "See?" "He was a cute little thing, wasn't he?" "The problem is, he was raised... to be a monster." "Trained from birth." "We come from a long line... of hate, Adam." "That's why I drink." "Make it all go away." "Now you're here." "And it won't go away anymore." "Go home." "I've got three things to say to you." "Number one." "I'm your lawyer until you fire me." "I'm not quitting." "Number two." "The day you killed Joe Lincoln, your sweet little seven-year-old daughter was in the laurel tree." "She watched her daddy murder a defenseless man in cold blood." "And three." "Quince Lincoln never stole a thing." "My father found that toy soldier underneath his bed, but he was too terrified to tell you." "He had to live with that for the rest of his sad life." "Maybe you didn't have the balls to put a stop to this, Sam." "But I do." "It ends with me." "We got four days left." "This is our last appeal, and it's called mitigating circumstances." "Talk to me." "Talk to me, Sam!" "I'm tired of talkin'." "I'm tired of waking' up every mornin' knowing' I'm one day closer to dying'." "I'm tired of livin' in a cage, tired of these crappy cigarettes." "Just praying' I'll die of cancer before they... gas me." "But mostly I'm just tired of waitin'." "Just let me rest." "I'm really touched you feel close enough to share your feelings with me, Sam." "But at the moment, I don't really give a damn." "I'm too busy tryin' to win my case." "Now, start talking!" "Here are some synonyms for mitigating." "Glossing over, sugarcoating, prettifying." "There's nothing pretty about twin boys being blown to bits." "There's no glossing over the suicide of their father." "And there's no sugarcoating this fact:" "My client is guilty, and he deserves to be punished." "To do the thing." "Sam Cayhall did the thing." "But he does not deserve to be murdered, because he was taught from birth that he had to do the thing." "That is what this court must come to understand." "He never knew he had any other recourse... but hatred and bigotry and violence." "His uncles were Klansmen, his brothers, his father, even his grandfather." "His great-grandfather was one of the cofounding members of that hateful organization." "I recently saw a photograph of him a-at a lynching." "He was ten, and it was his third." "Of course this is awful." "It..." "It's evil." "But blood and death were served with Sunday breakfast." "His father was murdered at a funeral." "My client saw it." "As the court is no doubt aware, my client is also my grandfather." "I'd like now to tell you some warm and wonderful stories about our family." "Except I don't know any." "In fact, I don't find my grandfather even remotely wonderful." "But I know this." "The very things that make him so monstrous... are the very reasons that mitigate against this state murdering him." "He was raised by his family and by this state... to become the man that he became." "By the time he was old enough to choose, he didn't have a choice." "This is the tragedy of Sam Cayhall." "It's a tragedy that has destroyed three lives already." "In the name of mercy, let it not murder what little is left of his life." "Thank you for seeing me like this." "Why are you here?" "I'm hoping you'll ask the governor to show some mercy." "Tell him that you don't want my client to die." "I don't want him to die." "I don't want him to." "But I feel he must." "See, that's..." "that's not true." "It isn't." "Your word would carry a lot of weight with the governor, and no one knows more than you that there's already been enough suffering." "It could all end right here." "Right now." "I didn't take them to nursery school that mornin' because I was sick." "So I waved good-bye from my bedroom window... and watched them leapfrog off to their death." "Bye, Mommy!" "I love you!" "The whole thing was my fault." "Be good!" " Adam." " Ma'am?" "Why are you really here?" "I came home one day and found my father on the floor with a gun in his hand." "And I remember wondering, What are all those towels doing there?" "And then I realized that he had arranged the towels in a circle... and then very carefully... laid down in the center of them so that he wouldn't make a mess." "In his note, he... he said that he loved me." "And he was sorry, and... he hoped that one day I'd understand." "He told me I'd have to take care of Mom and my sister." "There was a plastic garbage bag on the floor next to him." "I was supposed to put the towels in the bag, clean up the mess and call the police." "Don't touch the gun, he said." "Hurry up before the girls get home." "See, he had picked a day when he knew I'd be the first one home." "I was ten." "I would dearly love to help you, Adam." "Please know this." "Sam Cayhall destroyed both our families." "Mine just died first." "And I'm sorry..." "but he has to die." "Why?" "He has to die because I had champagne at my birthday party." "He has to die because a story needs an ending." "He has to die because..." "I don't care if he had no choice." "He chose to bomb that building." "And my family died." "You know, they were your age then." "Mmm." "And they would've been your age now." "Haven't given up, have you?" "Sometimes I..." "I just like to see if I still have what it takes." " Jesus." "What are you doing here?" " I've been watching you, kid." "You deserve the facts." "Back in '67, I found an old drunk." "He was a dish washer." "Claimed the night before the Kramer bombing, he saw Sam in a diner with another guy." "I need a name." "The description matched a guy we always suspected, but..." "R.W." "Hey!" "Rollie Wedge." "He was a real hater." "But smart." "And we could never tie him to anything." " Where is he now?" " They've gathered." "You know, sort of like a reunion." "The night before the big execution and all that." "I figure, if he's here, he's there." "Slapped the hell out of him." "Nigger lover." "Don't let the gore hit you, handsome." " Hey!" " He wasn't able to make it." "Come on." "Get him outta here." " Let's go, fucker!" "Get outta here!" " Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Get away from that boy." "Let's git!" "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Thank you." "I appreciate it." "You do?" " Rollie Wedge." " One of the many names I've been called." "What do you think you're doin' here?" "You planted the bomb that killed those kids." "Were you plannin' a citizen's arrest?" "I just want to hear you admit it." "Delusion, Mr. Hall." "You're lookin' for a clean yes, so you can identify, quantify, organize the concept of evil." "If I did it, then I'm the evil, and I can be culled from the flock." "Removed, separated, destroyed." "Evil can be destroyed." "And all you good people can feel safe... in the cocoon of your denial." " Sam says you're his people." " We are one." "Oh, is this how you treat your people?" "Huh?" "Let them take the fall for you?" "What about loyalty?" "Huh?" "What about the truth?" "The truth, based on your laws, Attorney Hall, is that Sam Cayhall is guilty and has been sentenced to death." "Perhaps it's time for you to show some loyalty, and let justice be served." "And after it is, always look behind ya." "Always." " He's probably still there." " Uh-huh." " And?" " If Sam were being tried as an accomplice, the most he would get is 20 years." " Now, you said you wanted new information." " With all due respect, this is hardly compelling evidence of anything." "Grant a stay." "Give me more time." "All right, men." "Listen up." "It's now 0800 hours." "I'm hereby activating the emergency operations center... and placing this institution on lockdown status." "And I expect each of you to discharge your duty accordingly." "No second-guessing, no improvisin'." "This execution will take place in 16 hours." "What you did to those babies... no one could ever forgive you for." "What you did to me... and Eddie," "I've got to." "Not for you, old man." "For me." "Eddie said... you'd never have shot Joe Lincoln," "if I'd have cried out for you not to." "Is that why you came here?" "No." "Would you still have shot him?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "The fifth circuit court denied Sam Cayhall's last appeal." "The U.S. Supreme Court will rule later today on his fate." "If they deny, Governor David McAllister will be his last chance." "The execution is set for 12:01 tomorrow morning." "Stephanie Bell Flint, WLBT News." "You got a light, yeah?" "Sam." "Met some of your real people last night." "Real interesting group." "They're real people." "Especially Rollie Wedge." "Rollie..." "Wedge." "He was real interesting." "I have to talk to the guards." "Rack up, Sam." "You look a lot like your brother, Mr. Cayhall." "I came to pay my respects, Sam." "Say good-bye." "Make sure you're still strong." "I saw those two little kids." "They was in the window." "That was a mistake." "We kept two little Jews... from growin' up into big Jews." "When their nigger-lovin' father killed hisself, it was like droppin' a little hook-nosed pebble in a pond." "The ripples went out with a message for all the world to see." "A Jew is weak." "How do you figure that for a mistake?" "Wasn't supposed to be no killin'." "Don't go soft, Sam." "The day is comin'." "I wish you could stick around to see it, buddy." "It's comin'." "Every day more and more people are opening' their eyes... to see the only thing wrong with this country... is we've gone against the laws of nature." "God's law." "Only the strong have a right to survive." "And now, finally, those not worthy... the Jew, the African, he who lies with another man... they're all diggin' their own graves." "And when we pile 'em in there, I'll drink a toast to you, Sam." "And I'll piss it out on their dead faces." "No." "You've been a good and loyal soldier, Sam." "Go with the dignity that is yours." "Don't be confused by that little boy!" "He's got his daddy's weak blood in him." "He ain't pure." "He ain't us." "No." "You son of a bitch, you." "You son of a bitch." "I ain't you." "I ain't you!" "You touch my kid, and I'm gonna kill you!" "Rip your head off!" "I'll kill you, you goddamn son of a bitch." " You know who this is?" " Your brother." "Oh, no, he ain't my brother!" "You ain't my brother!" " Better get outta here." " I'll be prayin' for ya, Sam." " You got to hell, you son of a bitch, you!" "Go to hell!" " I'll be prayin' for ya." "Rack, Sam." "No word from the courts." "I'd like you to mail these for me, if you would." "I don't have the addresses." "Don't give up, Sam." "Mmm." "There is one other thing." "Take that." "Rack, Sam." "It's the Supreme Court." "Coffee's French Market, just like you asked." "Thank you." "Rack back." "Adam Hall." "Mmm." "It ain't over, Sam." "It ain't over." "The United States Supreme Court... has denied last-minute appeals on behalf of Sam Cayhall." "Gas his ass!" "Gas his ass!" " Hurry, hurry." "Let's go." " Here." " Go!" " Come on." "Cayhall signed the request;" "Goodman's in court, asking' to open up the Sovereignty Commission files." " What should we do?" " Do?" "I don't recall being' asked to do anything." " Let's see what's in there." " It's suggesting' an accomplice to the bombing, for one." "Some far-right crazy named Rollie Wedge." "How the hell do you know that?" "We'll discuss it later." "Now, if you'll excuse us." " What were you sayin'?" " I don't think it's gonna work, that's all." "There are other names." "Some familiar." "Knowin' in advance might be very useful." "It's the governor, sir." " Hello, Governor." " Senator." "Cayhall's attorneys are tryin' to get some Sovereignty files released... that you and some of your colleagues might not appreciate." "I got a proposition for y'all, but you have to act fast." "These are for you, Cayhall." "I can, uh, offer you a sedative, if you'd like." "All right." "Then you'd best start changin'." "I'll be back in 30 minutes." "Don't be late." "Gas his ass!" "Gas his ass!" "Rack up, Cayhall." "It's all right." "Appeal's on the 28th, now, don't forget." " I left your papers with Barry in the law library." " Thanks, Sam." "Ladies and gentlemen, the governor of Mississippi, the Honorable David Allen McAllister." "Tonight, the Supreme Court of the United States... rejected all appeals filed on behalf of Sam Cayhall." "So at... at this moment of truth," "I must face the terrible burden of this office... that is mine and mine alone." "The question for me tonight is," "Who is David Allen McAllister," " To imagine in his finest hour..." " See ya, J.B." "He could ever prove wiser than the jury..." " See you soon, Sam." " And the 47 judges..." " In their eye, Sam." "Spit in their eye." " Who have reviewed this case..." " Praying for you, Sam." " Over the last 16 years?" " Hey, Sam." " The answer is clear." " Remember the Lord is with you." "In the matter of life and death, none among us... are more knowin' than our system of justice." "Tonight, however, information has come to us suggesting'..." "Mr. Cayhall may not have acted alone in this heinous crime." "Now, if these allegations prove to be true, rest assured, anyone found to be involved... will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law." " However," " Freeze!" "Hands up!" "No matter how many additional people may be implicated in the future, it does not change... a fundamental fact:" "Sam Cayhall is guilty as charged, and Sam Cayhall must pay the price." "So it..." "It is with the greatest humility... that I bow in deference... to that great lady, Justice." "At one minute past midnight," "Sam Cayhall will meet his Maker." "The final judgement will truly be His." "To the family of the victims, we say... nothing can replace your great and terrible loss." "Revenge will never lessen... the unfillable void left by those now gone." "We pray with you... that God may grant us the strength and the courage... to prevent crimes like this from ever again... darkenin' our soil with the blood of the innocent." "Good night." "And God bless America." "Kid, don't." "Don't try to save me anymore." "I know someplace inside of you, you're tryin' to stir up some kind of miracle." "We can't forget who Sam Cayhall is... or the kind of thinking he represents." "I'm sure you haven't." " And the other names?" " They're useful information." "It'll help us effect some real change next session." "Isn't that why we're doin' this job?" "All progress is a negotiation, Nora." "Of all the people and things I hated my whole life, the one I hated most was me." "I was given free entry into this world to make of it whatever I could." "Been sitting' here for 16 years." "I was thinkin' l..." "I never did anybody any good." "Mmm." "Till you came down." "You see, if I'm gonna be proud of you," "I gotta be proud of your daddy." "He wasn't weak." "L..." "He was strong." "Strong enough to get away." "Strong enough to give you whatever it is that you got." "Strong enough to give you whatever it is that you got." "If he was able to give that to you," "I reckon this old man must've passed on something good to him." "I didn't know that." "I'm ready." "You come on in." "We been waitin' for you." "All right." "Mmm." "Movin' right along." "Mmm." "L..." "Come on, man!" "What the fuck's going on?" "Sam, this is your death warrant." "You know I'm required by law to read it to you." "We the jury find unanimously and beyond a reasonable doubt... the following aggravating circumstances:" "The capital murder was committed while the defendant was engaged... in the commission of a felony." "The capital murder was especially heinous, atrocious and cruel." "We, the jury, find unanimously, from the evidence... and beyond a reasonable doubt, the defendant, Sam Cayhall, should be put to death... by lethal gas at the Mississippi State Penitentiary," "Parchman, Mississippi, the 13th day of April, 1996." "And no stays." "Is there any reason why this execution should not proceed?" "No." "Any final words, Mr. Cayhall?" "Maybe the ghosts are gone, Lee." "Maybe." "Thank you, Adam."

"D AY ONE" "Hi." "This is NieIs." "Did I wake you up ?" "I just thought I'd let you know it's all on the disk." "I thought I'd start making a print out." "Oh, about 4 o' clock." "Yeah, I'II do that." "Yes, I'II start right now." "THE COP AND THE WHORE A FILMANU" "A what ?" "A "fiImmanu" !" "Listen, you know what..." "It just stopped dead." "I think you ought to come over here." "Take me to Store Kongensgade." "If you keep driving like this you'II soon owe me money." "Arizona ?" "What did you say ?" "I can hardly hear you." "Yes." "No, no." "Don't worry about it." "When are you coming home ?" "OK, I'II make a dinner on Saturday." "Right." "Great." "No, no !" "I'II make something special." "It's for you, Lars." "Lars just came in." "See you on Saturday." "It's CIaes in Arizona." "Is this the film consultant ?" "How nice." "We just finished it." "We're making a print out now." "We assume you're going to pick it up on Saturday." "No problem finishing it on schedule." "Oh, about 200 pages." "215 or 216." "We'II probably cut it down a little." "Compress it somewhat." "A few cuts here and there." "Anything can happen." "Have a good trip and we'II see you on Saturday." "Great, CIaes." "NieIs sends his regards." "Great." "Bye now." "I checked the disk." "There's nothing left !" "Not much for him to pick up." "Damn !" " What's CIaes doing over there ?" " He bought a windbreaker." " Another one !" " He's got a windbreaker fetish." "THE COP AND THE WHORE" "How the hell did we start this story ?" "Was the whore in it from..." "Was she in the opening ?" "I really can't remember how it started." "I vaguely remember the ending." "The middle is foggy, but the beginning..." "actually..." "I didn't really like "The Cop and the Whore"." "It had its good moments." "Name one !" "I'd Iike it if we... wrote something more dynamic." "A coincidence due to fate can be so sinister and fantastic in character" "that one is tempted to draw apparently logical, but actually unfounded, conclusions." "During the course of 5 days the "Epidemic" manuscript was created and written down in and around this apartment." "That an actual epidemic was approaching during those 5 days, and that its awful outbreak and script completion coincided, is one of those inexplicable coincidences." ""Fathers left their children." "Wives left husbands, brother left brother." "For the disease attacked both through breathing and sight." "Thus they all died." "No one would bury them at any price." "family members dragged their dead to open graves without benefit of clergy, euIogy or tolling of bells." "Throughout Siena mass graves were filled with victims." "I, AgnoIo di Tura, called "The Fat One"." "buried my 5 children with my own hands." "Some were covered with such a thin layer of dirt that dogs dug up their bodies and fed on them." "This describes the atmosphere." "There were no funerals nor processions." "Priests said mass and bells tolled only for the rich." "Such ceremony was then forbidden in many places, as were bells, for it was thought the constant toIIing would cause even greater anguish and perhaps greater sickness." "For purely religious reasons, as a form of protection from evil spirits, crosses were marked on doors to guard those inside." "Later, a cross came to mean that a house was infected." "Thus people were warned off." "The 1348 plague saw harsher methods employed." "When the first victims were found outside milan," "Archbishop Bernabo Visconti ordered that all pIague-infected houses be sealed with bricks." "With the family inside, of course." "Thus the plague spared milan." "Three families were bricked in and died of plague and hunger." "So, milan escaped the plague because it isolated itself from other pIague-ridden cities ?" "Yes, but it was hit much harder when the next plague struck." "CERTIFICATE OF DEATH E. MESMER, PHYSICIAN." "The archives stored here under these arches are Denmark's memory." "Let's see if we can find anything of interest to you." "Perhaps you wouldn't expect to find these walls here." "That's saItpetre coming out of them." "It comes from the wall itself, probably because the ground is so damp." "In the old days, before we understood the problem some of the staff were afraid to come down here, particularly in the dark, because of the strange sounds, pops, when the saltpetre cracked off more plaster." "It's a kind of wall disease." "Look at me when I'm talking to you, Dr. Mesmer." " Swine." " Apostate." " Traitor." " Renegade." " Creep." " QuisIing." "I hold here your application, Dr. Mesmer." "You have applied for permission to terminate your research here at the hospital." "I understand that you wish to undertake medical practice in the infected areas outside the city, knowing full well that the Academy of Doctors has decided that no treatment can be given for this disease." "Damn it, Mesmer !" "I couId never give you permission to leave for those areas." "It's quite impossible." "You know that well." "I beseech you for the very last time to reconsider your attitude." "Dr. Mesmer is ashamed of being a doctor, I would say." "Let's call him an idealist." "The disease doesn't frighten Dr. Mesmer." "Which medicament lies hidden in his doctor's bag ?" " What has he in mind to prescribe ?" " Aspirin and rest." "You haven't a chance, Mesmer." "You wouldn't be able to stay alive out there for one single day." "The air is infected." "And the soil." "And the water." "early one morning you leave the protected walls of our city." "Your courage has brought you this far, Dr. Mesmer." "The world lies open." "But the closer you get to the infected areas, it seems as if the elements turn against you." "It may start with a light cough, but quickly, and without mercy, the respiratory organs are disabled by the infected air." "The bacteria in the soil penetrate the skin and the flesh by mere contact." "And the water you drink will destroy you from inside." "Let me make you an offer, Dr. Mesmer." "As you probably know," "I am chairman of the crisis commission, which was established in the early days of the epidemic as advisories to the government." "confidentially, I can tell you that the government has just decided to resign." "partly due to the acuteness of the situation, partly in acknowledgement of its own mismanagement." "In short," "His Majesty has requested that I form a provisional government." "This envelope, Dr. Mesmer, contains the cabinet list, which will be presented to His Majesty this very afternoon." "This list features exclusively names attached to this faculty." "AII members with incontestable medical qualifications." "This list also contains your name, Doctor M.." "Prime Minister, Professor UIrich, neurology." "Minister of Foreign Affairs, Dr. OswaId, Obstetrics." "Minister of Finance, Professor Geit, gynaecology." "Minister of Justice, Dr. Horst, Orthopaedics." "Minister of the Interior, Professor Rosenberg, Surgery." "Minister of Transport, Dr. Janis, urology." "Minister of agriculture and Fisheries, Dr. Magnus, Psychiatry." "Minister of Education, Prof. Stendbeck, Anaesthetics." "Minister of ecclesiastical Affairs, Dr. Linderman, pathology." "As you may have noticed, Mesmer," "I have, among others, admitted a Ministry of cultural Affairs, which gives me an opportunity to offer you an appointment as minister without portfolio." "You underestimate the danger of this disease," "Dr. Mesmer." "would you please call in Dr. Magnus." "I know epidemiology is your field, Dr. Mesmer." "I take it, therefore, that you have come across the mysterious phenomenon commonly known as "King Rat"." "A bundle of 3 or 4 rats, who have had their tails so helplessly entangled, that consequentiaIIy they have starved to death." "In the Great plague years, finding of King Rats always gave warning of the coming of the disease." "Just before the black Death in London in 1348, a King Rat was found that consisted of no less than 5 rats." "If you please, Dr. Mesmer, this discovery was made in the cellar under the University on the night between Friday and Saturday. 7 rats." "Dr. Mesmer !" "If you leave these premises to carry out your plans, it is my duty to inform you that by such action you will excommunicate yourself from the Doctors' Syndicate." "From this moment on, you'II be numbered among the patients." "Haven't you heard about the fortifications around the city ?" "They've walled the doors and windows in the outskirts of the city." "You won't be able to overcome these obstacles." "I bought a goose to pickle." "D AY TWO "THE LINE"" "Then I'II boil it and bake it." "I also bought some truffles." "I don't know how I'II use them just yet." "I've also got a fish to pickle." "It's all for the Saturday dinner." "NieIs !" "I understand you've settled on bubonic plague." "Nice boil !" ""And no matter how hard and firm the boil might seem it could rupture unexpectedly to the victim's surprise and spill forth a two-coIoured puss." "It was startling that the colours didn't mix and came out together but separated by God's will, without compounding into a third colour"." "It seems to me I've seen that in a tube of toothpaste." "I don't know if you can still get it." "It's called "signal"." "It was just like ordinary white toothpaste but there were thin red stripes in it too." "So you got a two-coIour stripe when you squeezed the tube." "So you got a two-coIour stripe when you squeezed the tube." "Can our boils work like that ?" "Yeah, why not ?" "The weather report for the second day of screenwriting promised north-easterIy winds and the first frost of winter." "Many blamed the weather for the wave of neck aches that came." "Others thought they had influenza symptoms." "Headaches were nothing new for the authors." "They often came in the wake of ideas." "One detail I'd Iike to include is that after leaving the city, which should burn behind him..." "I really think it ought to." "After he leaves the city, that's when the disease starts to spread, because he brings it with him in his doctor's bag." "OK, Iet's start." "shall we call it "In the City" ?" " Or just "City" ?" - "In Town"." "Yeah !" ""In Town"." "And about here, I think we ought to have" ""Fortification"." "That will be hard to read." ""Fortification"." "And here we'II work our way out to the countryside." "What else is there ?" "Oh, yeah." "About here, about two thirds of the way." "Here we need some drama." "please write "drama" over there." "It's just that that's when the audience will think about leaving." " So, we've got to..." " Put in some drama!" "And this is right here." "The "Wag"." ""Wag Tann"." " If you don't mind." " No." "What does it mean ?" "well, this bacteria that's moving closer, which we refer to constantly, ought to be accompanied by strains of Wagner." "The overture to Tannhauser." "He's an idealist." "So if we write "ideal" in the beginning, that's not a bad idea." "Right, Iet's write "ideal"." "We also ought to write "revelation" here." "Just "Rev." will do, maybe." "So, this basically boils down to the young idealist who leaves the fortified city, which is sealed because of the suspicion of the disease that has spread nearby." "We can refer to the painted crosses we talked about, and people are imagining illnesses." "But the first real victim of the disease ought to be the far-sighted nurse, don't you think ?" "clearly the doctor is somehow spreading the disease." "Without him and his idealism there would be no problem at all." "An arrow." "The revelation leads to some religious ending." "Don't you think it's about time for a small beer ?" "Oh, I think we could handle a beer." "A film ought to be like a pebble in your shoe." " Cheers !" " Cheers." "Kruff is here." "Ask him what kind of wine to drink on Saturday." "He knows a Iot about wine." "Some people can't drink wine without a candle on the table." "Some people can't live without a candle especially when they drink good wine !" "I'm not one of them." "It should have been decanted to let it breathe." "The bouquet is fantastic." "Yes." "Very fine indeed." " It's also very precise." " Yes." "It's a wine from..." "Marquis d'AngerviIIe." "It may be a clos des Ducs." "There are snails in it !" "Oh, it's leaking." "It's usually difficult to pour from a bottle like this." "well, doesn't look like it this time." "It's hard to see where the sediment is sitting, though." "Now, if one chose one like this as the red wine for the main course..." "One's better off than if one chose it as a white wine !" "One's better off than if one chose it as a white wine !" "Yes, of course." "It would have to be a great deal older for that." "Superb wine !" " A shame some was wasted." " You've got a point there." "well, if we had a white and then drank this, what white would you choose." "I suppose..." "well, there are two choices." "Either a PuIigny-Montrachet or a MersauIt-Santenots." "D'AngerviIIe also makes MersauIt-Santenots." "So, everything's kept in the family, so to speak." "This VoInay CIos des Ducs is better than it looks." "I'm very interested in epidemic diseases." "Wasn't there a plague that attacked the grapevine in France" "a few centuries ago ?" "In some cases an AusIese can be attacked by noble rot." "Dr. Thanisch's widow..." "She was once married to a doctor." "He grew great wines !" "I was once told by a waiter at Lasserre in Paris..." "He told me something." "A long time ago there had been a plague of some kind in Bordeaux." "It didn't strike the bottled wines, as it were, but the grapes on the vine." "It wasn't really a plague..." "It was a kind of vine pest." "PhyIIoxera." "I think the scientific name was "PhyIIoxera vastatrix"" "But it devastated French wine production for years, right ?" "Yes, PhiIIoxera is the pest of all pests in that regard." "D AY THREE "GERMANY"" "What are you doing ?" "We're taking a trip to Germany." "I thought you'd be writing." "One, two, three, four, five, six," "seven, eight, nine, ten." "We're driving through some of the worst areas in Europe." "Or perhaps the most interesting." "AII of Europe's industry is here in big splotches on the map." "We'II drive through Dortmund and Essen." "Then Duisburg, KrefeId." "KrefeId." "Neuss, DusseIdorf." "We'II also be going through Remscheid, SoIingen and Leverkusen." "There's the headquarters of Bayer chemicals." "From there we'II head towards cologne." "Our friend Mesmer is on his way out to the disease-ravaged Europe." "I think it's time for him to meet somebody." "I think I'd Iike to suggest that our friend here" "meets a theologian." "We've discussed the length of various forms of education." "The fact that... study for specific occupations has become very short" "in a society where one can plan only a few hours ahead because the disease spreads at record speed." "Let's suppose that this theologian has an education that took, say, an hour and a half." "This gives us the opportunity to make fun of religion and of the educational system too." "That way we can get a little humour into the tragedy." "Something else... during the plague people died in a matter of hours and were buried quickly." "In the rush, some were buried alive." "It might be a good idea if Mesmer's girlfriend, the nurse, met this fate." "That would fit in with Mesmer's mission." "On the third day the bacteria was incubated in the soil." "The city could be divided into zones, according to the degree of infection." "Modern transportation helped the bacteria to spread quickly." "In a matter of hours, the germs reach new parts of the globe." "NieIs !" ""signal plus"." ""ideal for prevention"." ""clinically tested"." "Thanks." "Now we'II reveal everything." "The secret !" "It's rather firm." "I'II make an incision here." " Tough tube !" " I'II make an incision here." "Very tough indeed." "Maybe that's part of the secret." "And we open it up here and we can now see that there are no stripes inside." "The white stuff is down here and the red's down here." "How do they combine ?" "Looks like a nozzle." "You've got a nozzle in which the white stuff pulls the red stuff along with it out through the opening." "Yes !" " And that's the story of "signal"." " "plus"." " hello." " hello." "Come in." "Cheers." "So, what are you doing in cologne ?" "well, we're writing a script." "Here ?" "No, we're just here for a short time." "But how are you ?" " My mother just died." " I'm very sorry." "She told me things she'd never told me before." "What things ?" "About the hospital, the day I was born." "She told me the roof collapsed." "In the evening she was in the hospital and they were collecting all the babies back into a different room, which my mother could see from her room through a glass wall." "Then she told me she saw a brick wall coming down, and the nurse wanted to protect the babies and jumped over it." "She was hit and there was a blood stream out of her head." "So, my mother was completely left in this corner, no way of getting out." "She was thinking, she told me, and she started scratching with her hands to make a hole in the wall." "And then she waved and people helped her to get out." "And then she waved and people helped her to get out." "Then she got out and she... told me that she was pressing me very strong to her." "She was in the hospital in Richard Wagner Strasse." "She was trying to get away, but everything was burning because it was the second english bombing of cologne." "As an experiment they were using for the first time phosphor bombs." "Everything was burning and she was just getting away from all this." "She found herself all of a sudden at this... you know the lake?" "It's at the end of Richard Wagner Strasse." "Yeah, I know where it is." "And if you go right to the end, there's this water place." "And she got close to this, and she told me then that she heard first the noises, people screaming, and she saw a Iot of people under the water." "They were instinctively going under the water, because of this phosphor that was burning their skins." "They were, you know, getting their head out to breathe." "And then... my mother told me a terrible thing." "She saw one hand sticking out of the water." "She was very close and could see the hand and she said it was only flesh, because all the skin was burned off." "And she didn't tell me all my Iife." "She waited until just before dying to tell me the story." "Here we are." "This is the area." "And of course all those houses were burning, and also on this side." "You can't see from here very well." "Let's go over there, we can see it better." "This is the place where hundreds and hundreds of people were standing in the water." "AII those people screaming in this lake." "They were not Nazis." "My mother was not a Nazi." "I think I know what to call the disease." "I'm still not quite used to being a priest." "You know, in half a day you're a dentist." "It takes a whole day to become an airline pilot" "and in two you're a priest." "I studied for two days." "They gave me this book and told me I was a priest." "I opened the book." "It was goddamn Latin." "I told them:" "this book is goddamn Latin." "They told me I was a catholic priest." "What the hell." "A week ago some 20 people tried to flee the D.I.N. disease by going to sea." "They built an artificial island with a couple of houses on it." "A few fields for crops." "Everything they needed." "But the island wasn't really constructed to overcome a storm." "Yesterday, I was told someone found a fragment of the wreck." "WouIdn't you call this a good opportunity to perform a ritual ?" "Yes, over there." "The ceremony will begin." "Your passport, please." "Thank you." "D AY FOUR "THE HOSPITAL"" " Where's NieIs ?" " He's at the hospital." "Did he forget to tell you ?" "But I don't think... he'II be long." "He made the appointment ages ago." " What's the matter with him ?" " Don't ask me !" " You don't know what's wrong ?" " I'm afraid not." " Is it his head or his legs ?" " His head, I'm afraid !" "Things were still quiet at the hospital on the fourth day." "The daily routine was still functioning smoothly." "Nothing was amiss yet." "What's wrong ?" "I had some small growths that itched and got bigger." "I've had them some time." "I had to have them removed." "It had been arranged for today." "I'd completely forgotten." "I don't particularly like being sliced open." "I fainted when I saw the scalpel." "He cut really deep." "well, if you feel up to writing something..." "OK." "I've certainly got the time." "I've certainly got the time." " What about the inspiration ?" " Oh, yes." "Indeed." "Thanks." "I told PaIIe we were writing a horror story." "He said you were welcome to go down and visit him." "He's down in pathology, if you're interested." "That's a nice offer..." "Are you squeamish about dissections ?" "Don't you want to go ?" "I'm not too sure." "I think it'd be very interesting, but unfortunately I can't go." "I just can't go, NieIs." "It's not for me... no." "Take the lift to the basement." "There's a shuttle train." "Get on and ask for "pathology"." "Gown, cap and mask" "It's in there on the Ieft." "There aren't any apparent symptoms." "No bodily functions impaired." "We only recently noticed glandular tissue changes, primarily in younger subjects." "The first case was the day before yesterday." "12 cases yesterday." "We've also had a few today with these tissue changes." "We call it "granuIa"." "I think I'II examine the lymph nodes in the groin, or here in the back of the sterno cIeido." "If this is another case, we ought to find something." "We don't usually carry out autopsies with masks and gloves, but this is a new phenomenon." "Its nature is unknown, so we have to take precautions." "I'II make an incision here." "Thank you." "hold right here." "Look at this." "Two nodules the size of a pea." "Maybe even a bit smaller." "These are the largest we've found up to now." "See, it's quite soft." "There you go !" "They tell me the idiot doctors set the city on fire." "How about that, Mesmer ?" "Caused quite a panic, they said." "The first believed D.I.N. victims were found within the city limits." "So the doctors set the infected areas on fire." "They know something about fire." "It's started spreading, Mesmer." "They tell me the fire has jumped from the cathedral to the University." "And from the University to the museum," "which the idiot doctors took over for administrative purposes." "Now organ boys have fled to the library." "It's silly, Mesmer." "To close the city and start playing with fire." "I guess the library is on fire too." "What the hell !" "AII a nigger needs are loose shoes, tight pussies and a warm place to shit !" "D AY FIVE - "THE DINNER" (THE GIRLS FROM ATLANTIC CITY)" "The authors had done what they could on the Iast day." "They had invented an incurable disease, described its spread and based their work on the suffering of others." "The deed was done." "I saw a movie, "The King of Marvin Gardens"." "It took place in atlantic City." "Seems an exciting place." "So I thought I would... get someone to write a book for me." "I'd Iike to see atlantic City, but I can't afford the trip." "I don't really want to go, but I'd Iike to know something about it." "Through knowledge by description." "Descriptions from others who lived there." "Or something like that." "I wanted to write about America in a way similar to Kafka's." "His uncle had supplied information about it." "But I'd do it by information I received by letter." "So I chose a limited area, atlantic City, found out the names of the local papers and wrote to them." "In my letters I pretended I was a 16-year-oId and got appropriate answers." "Most of them were from 13- to 16-year-oId girls." "I got a whole load of letters." "I got a whole load of letters." "So many girls." "About 70." "I answered all of them and used teenage handwriting." "I kept copies of my letters." ""I was happy to receive your letter." "Thanks very much !"" ""I'd better start telling a little about myself."" "Then I asked her..." ""I would also like to know what kind of candy you've got in your city."" "And got a detailed description of a Hershey bar." "But you had to stop writing at a certain point, didn't you ?" "Yeah, I'd got to the point where I couldn't continue." "It was too much after they'd described their carpets 17 times." ""Dear, NieIs." "How's everything been with you ?" "I really missed receiving a letter from you and I thought the reason was that either my letter to you or yours to me never arrived." "I sure hope that's the reason, because I want to continue corresponding with you." "I hope there wasn't some kind of problem in your family which made you not write me back." "I have quite a Iot to tell you and hope to receive a letter from you very shortly." "Your friend, Lisa"." "I didn't write to her long." "She was slower than the others." "In her first letter she said she was coming to Copenhagen in about two weeks." "She found my phone number and called." "I met her at her hotel." "She was touring Europe with her aunt." "She was 1 4, but looked 25 !" "She even had a little black moustache." "And I had to sit there and... they asked me questions as if I was 16." "So I had to act like a 16-year-oId." "tell them about my school, my homework and all that." "It was a little embarrassing." "It wasn't much fun." "We sat in the lobby on this hotel furniture right next to the guy who gives out the keys." "As we talked the aunt watched us like a hawk." "I styled my hair so I'd look younger." "But maybe I'd gone too far, so I said:" ""I must be getting home." ""I have some homework to do !"" "This is a recording of my voice." "I just thought I'd Iike to talk to you for a while." "I'm listening to the radio in my room." "It's a bit loud, I'II turn it down a little." "I really like writing to you." "Because it gives me something to do and look forward to." "I don't know, It's nice to Iearn about people who are different from you, because when you're born some place and you live there all your life, you don't get exposed to a Iot of different kinds of people or places." "So, the only way to do that is going there or get them to come here, or writing back and forth." "And, since my father won't let me come over there in the near future," "I'II keep writing." "But one day, when I'm in Europe, I'II look you up." "Then you'II see what I Iook like, 'cause those pictures are no good." "You don't look like what I thought you'd look like." "No, you do not look like what I thought you'd look like." "Let me see, how did I picture you ?" "First of all, you look older than you are." "How old are you ?" "I remember I sent you that article..." "You look older than that." "You look about 20, 21 ." "Are you goddamn talkin' to me ?" "well, oh." "I just didn't think you'd look like that." "I didn't know what you looked like." "Here I am here sitting on the floor." "My mother's calling me... asking me about something I didn't do." "She can go right ahead, I never do anything wrong." "If you want you can tape right on this one and send it back to me." "You don't have to keep this, you can erase right over my voice." "It's not going to be worth anything." " Hi, claus." "Come in." " Thanks." "We're sitting in there." " Can I take your windbreaker ?" " No, thanks." "I'II keep it on." "Let's start with some champagne." "a salon blanc de blanc." " Cured coaIfish." " What did you say ?" " Cured coaIfish !" " Sounds great." "well cheers !" "And welcome home." " Cheers !" " Thanks." "Terrific, hey ?" "You know, it's not a script in the traditional sense." "It's the written result of a year and a half's work." " Er... yes..." " twelve pages ?" "well, consider it... the technical description of the plot." "The skeleton of the film ?" "We were thinking of presenting the film in a less traditional way." " We planned a surprise." " What sort of surprise ?" "We've invited some people over." "They'II help us put the script in the right perspective." "well, I'm not against that." "Let me just say that we've invested a Iot of money in this and I've invested a Iot of trust in you guys." "And there's a board of directors running the film industry in this little country !" "Their rule is you've got to have a script of at Ieast 150 pages." "How is it ?" "I think it's great." "Nothing better than fresh truffles..." "Their scent fills a home." "Yeah, great flavour." "I'm crazy about truffles." "They've got to be fresh, mind you." "There are several varieties." "There are sinners who put them in tins." " Then they become inedible." " Don't exaggerate." " They lose their taste." " That is true." "well." "Let me tell you something about the film "Epidemic"." "Or rather, Iet me explain the ending." "Our hero Mesmer, after travelling in the infected environment is entrenched in this underground cave." "NieIs thinks he ought to make a mosaic down there, but that's just a detail." "After everyone else around him dies, he hides in a cave to avoid infection." "That's when he discovers he's the disease carrier." "He breaks out of the cave by crawling a Iong steep passage and comes up, kneels down and thanks God for the life which once had been." "He crawls out of a cave and thanks God ?" "Yes." "That's pathetic !" "I was expecting a little more action !" "A classic tragedy where all the main characters eventually die." ""God almighty, I'm dying !" Know what I mean ?" "people do die, but not on the screen." "You'd rather have a bloodbath ?" "A 12-page script with this kind of finale !" "I'm worried." "I was expecting something different." "well in films, Danish films in particular, that's what fate has forced me to work with, there are lots of stories" "where people don't die, or fewer people die than ought to die." "And there are fewer screams and not as much blood as one would Iike." "Things just ebb away, don't they ?" "As if an evening fog rolled in and everything just faded away." "We're waiting for our guests." " Why didn't you tell me ?" " It was a surprise." "In "The plague", Camus writes about a bookkeeper, a great artist who tried to write a book." "For decades he writes the same lines about a horse coming down a boulevard." "He never got any further." "I think you ought to open it." "This is Gitte and Svend Hamann." "This is Lars, and this is claus from the film Institute." "This is Suzanne." "please, sit down." " Sit down here." " Thanks." " Coffee ?" " No, thanks." "May we start ?" "Gitte, just relax and listen." "please, be quiet." "It must be quiet when we start." "No talking or moving, OK ?" "Gitte, relax and look at me." "Just relax." "You're closing your eyes." "You will hear everything I'm saying to you." "Concentrate on my voice." "Think about sleeping." "You will faII asleep now." "Just think about sleeping." "slump in the chair." "Just slump down." "Your head is getting heavy." "Now sleep." "sleep." "You are sleeping deeper and deeper." "Deeper and deeper." "You are now sleeping deeper." "You are in deep sleep." "You feel fine." "You relax." "AII unpleasant noise disappears." "AII unpleasant noise disappears." "You hear everything I say to you but can't hear what I'm saying to the others." "You only hear what I say to you." "Now you are in a deep sleep." "A deep, deep, sleep." "Now listen to me and concentrate." "You have read the words." "You have read the words." "Go into the film." "Go into "Epidemic"." "I'm walking down the street." "What do you see ?" "There are people." "They look terrible." "They're..." "They're screaming." "They're screaming loudly !" "They... cry out !" "What are they crying out ?" "They scream." "For God's help, I think." "They cry for help." "They're afraid." "And there are rats." "Rats with very long tails." "tails longer than their bodies." "Everyone walks on their own, no one wants to talk." "They're afraid of each other." "Scared of infection and death." "They're in terrible suffering." "It... it hurts me." "On some of the houses" "large crosses are painted." "Because illness has reached them." "There may be dead people inside." "Go in the house !" "She's covered with boils..." "She's lying there... staring." "The children begin to whine softly." "They're so terribly frightened." "Are there other sick people in the house ?" "The husband jumps up." "He starts removing the children's clothes." "They look even worse..." "They're almost black." "There are people across the street." "They are sick." "The carriage..." "That man is throwing people off." "20, 30, 40..." "I can't count." "Just throwing them off." "There are holes everywhere." "full of children !" "Human bodies." "They're dying on the streets." "They lie everywhere and they die !" "We all fall down !" "We all fall down !"

"(JAMES BOND THEME PLAYING)" "(GUN FIRING)" "Uploaded by [ sRtFeVeR ] new srt source" "How we doing, Richard?" "We should pass over the English coast 15 minutes ahead of time, sir." "Well, with this load on our back, that's good going." "Just trust the RAF, sir." "What the hell is that?" "The shuttle ignition." "Disappeared?" "And what happened to the Moonraker?" "Good God." "Yes, yes, of course, Minister." "Right away." "Moneypenny, is 007 back from that African job?" "He's on his last leg, sir." "Any higher, Mr. Bond, my ears will pop." "I don't think I'm ever going to fly with anyone else." "You're so right, Mr. Bond." "This is where we leave you, Mr. Bond." "A little premature, isn't it?" "Enjoy your flight." "(SCREAMING)" "(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING)" "(DRUM ROLL)" "(CYMBALS CRASHING)" "(MOONRAKER PLAYING)" "♪ Where are you?" "♪ Why do you hide?" "♪ Where is that moonlight trail" "♪ That leads to your side?" "♪ Just like the Moonraker goes" "♪ In search of his dream of gold" "♪ I search for love" "♪ For someone to have and hold" "♪ I've seen your smile" "♪ In a thousand dreams" "♪ Felt your touch" "♪ And it always seems" "♪ You love me" "♪ You love me" "♪ Where are you?" "♪ When will we meet?" "♪ Take my unfinished life" "♪ And make it complete" "♪ Just like the Moonraker knows" "♪ His dream will come true someday" "♪ I know that you" "♪ Are only a kiss away" "♪ I've seen your smile" "♪ In a thousand dreams" "♪ Felt your touch" "♪ And it always seems" "♪ You love me" "Good morning, Moneypenny." "James." "But why are you so late?" "I fell out of an airplane without a parachute." "(CHUCKLING)" "Who's in there?" "Q and the Minister of Defense." "You don't believe me, do you?" "And you should go right in." "Yes, Moneypenny." "007." "At last." "Good morning, sir." "I think you know Frederick Gray, Minister of Defense." "Commander." "Minister." "Q." "007." "Moonraker?" "What do you know about Moonraker?" "What I read in the newspaper, sir." "Then you'll know that Moonraker, the space shuttle, was being flown over here on loan from the Americans on the back of a 747." "Yes, which crashed somewhere in the Yukon, aircraft and shuttle totally destroyed, correct?" "That's the official version." "The truth is rather more disturbing, 007." "Look at this." "Q:" "Now, that's the scene of the crash." "Wreckage strewn over a large area." "That's all that's left of the fuselage." "We've been through it with a fine-toothed comb, but there's no sign of Moonraker, not a trace." "Are you suggesting the shuttle was hijacked in midair?" "That's for you to find out, 007." "The shuttles are built in California by Drax Industries." "Yes." "We were responsible for the safety of that shuttle, Commander." "The United States government is justifiably concerned." "I can imagine." "Then, California must be the place to start." "I agree." "Don't make any mistakes, 007." "The situation is critical." "We've got to find that shuttle." "Yes, sir." "If that's all, gentlemen..." "Ah, just a minute, 007." "I've got something for you." "Q:" "Roll up your right sleeve, will you?" "This is now being issued as standard equipment." "Strap it on your wrist." "It's activated by nerve impulses from the wrist muscles." "Like this?" "Oh, thank you, 007." "Be careful, will you?" "Yes, Q." "Ten darts, five blue-tipped with armor piercing heads, five red-tipped, cyanide coated, causing death in 30 seconds." "Very novel, Q." "You must get them in the stores for Christmas." "BOND:" "Good morning, gentlemen." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Welcome to California, Mr. Bond." "I like it already." "My name is Corinne Dufour." "Oh, and you're going to be showing me around, are you, Corinne?" "No." "I'm just a humble pilot in the service of the Drax Corporation." "This is the Drax estate now." "CORINNE:" "Everything you see belongs to Mr. Drax." "Owns a lot, doesn't he?" "What he doesn't own, he doesn't want." "We're approaching the main complex now." "BOND:" "That's where the Moonraker shuttle is made?" "That's right, workshops, hangars, design and experimental blocks, test centers, everything." "BOND:" "Very impressive." "I'd heard that Hugo Drax is obsessed with the conquest of space." "Now, I can believe it." "(SOFTLY) Good Lord." "The Drax residence." "CORINNE:" "Every stone brought from France." "Cute, isn't it?" "Magnificent." "Why didn't he buy the Eiffel Tower as well?" "He did, but the French government refused him an export permit." "Look there." "Those are the astronaut trainees." "Mr. Drax is financing the entire training program out of his own pocket." "He seems to have an eye for a good investment." "Mr. Drax will see Mr. Bond in the drawing room, Miss Dufour." "Thank you, Cavendish." "This way, please, sir." "(CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)" "Mr. Bond, sir." "Mr. Bond." "Mr. Drax." "Allow me to present, before they leave us, Countess Labinski," "Lady Victoria Devon, Mr. Bond." "How do you do?" "Well, my dear fellow, your reputation precedes you, of course." "I'm honored that your government should send you on so delicate a mission." "Delicate, Mr. Drax?" "Well, to apologize in person for the loss of my space shuttle." "How would Oscar Wilde have put it?" ""To lose one aircraft may be regarded as a misfortune,"" ""to lose two seems like carelessness."" "Well, an apology will be made to the American government, Mr. Drax, when we've discovered why there was no trace of the Moonraker in that wreckage." "DRAX:" "And your loyalty commands respect, Mr. Bond." "You have arrived at a propitious moment, coincident with your country's one indisputable contribution to Western civilization." "Afternoon tea." "May I press you to a cucumber sandwich?" "Thank you, no, nothing at all." "The shuttle, is it made entirely here in California?" "No." "I own a number of subsidiaries throughout the world, producing components." "The conquest of space represents an investment in the future of the entire human race, Mr. Bond." "It is, therefore, logical to seek out the best that each nation has to offer." "Are you referring to people or skills?" "Both, Mr. Bond." "Am I too soon?" "Not at all." "I'm sure Mr. Bond is eager to start his tour." "Miss Dufour will escort you to Dr. Goodhead who will show you around." "Ask anything you like." "Thank you for being so cooperative." "A pleasure." "Look after Mr. Bond." "See that some harm comes to him." "You'll find Dr. Goodhead first on the right." "Oh." "Thank you for the ride." "Call on me if you need anything." "(CLEARING THROAT)" "Good afternoon." "Can I help you?" "Yes." "My name is Bond." "James Bond." "I'm looking for Dr. Goodhead." "You just found her." "A woman." "Your powers of observation do you credit, Mr. Bond." "James, to my friends." "Holly Goodhead." "Are you training to be an astronaut?" "I'm fully trained." "On loan from NASA, the Space Administration." "Well, Mr. Bond, I guess we'd better get started." "You don't want to lose time as well as a space shuttle, do you?" "This is it, the Moonraker." "Capable of being launched into space by rocket..." "Orbiting the Earth and reentering the atmosphere to land like any conventional aircraft." "GOODHEAD:" "This is the centrifuge training." "BOND:" "It simulates the gravity force you feel when shot into space." "The speed is controlled by the instructor from up there." "Why not try it?" "Why not?" "Strap yourself in firmly." "Yes, Doctor." "Now your arms." "That's to prevent you from knocking yourself out." "BOND:" "I see." "How fast does it go?" "It can go up to 20 Gs, but that would be fatal." "Three Gs is equivalent to take-off pressure." "Most people pass out at seven." "You make a great saleswoman." "You don't have to worry." "This is what we call a "Chicken Switch."" "You just keep your finger on that button, the moment the pressure gets too much for you, release the button and the power's cut off." "Just like that?" "(SWITCH CLICKS)" "Come on, Mr. Bond." "A 70-year-old can take 3 Gs." "Well, the trouble is there is never a 70-year-old around when you need one." "GOODHEAD:" "You want me?" "Mr. Drax says to telephone him." "All right, I'll call him from my office." "You go ahead." "I'll be right back." "The instructor will supervise the session." "Enjoy yourself." "Yes." "We're taking good care of him." "I don't know what could've happened." "Something must've gone wrong with the controls." "Let me help you." "My mother gave me a list of things not to do on a first date." "Maybe you won't need it." "That's not what I came for." "No." "What do you want then?" "Would your feelings be shattered if I were to say information?" "Why should I tell you anything?" "Why, indeed?" "You presume a great deal, Mr. Bond." "What goes on here besides the manufacture of Moonraker?" "And the astronaut training program?" "There are other laboratories, but not much is happening now." "No?" "They were working on something very secret, but everything's been moved." "Where to?" "I don't know." "What about that list of your mother's?" "I never learned to read." "(MOANING)" "What are you doing?" "You whetted my appetite for information." "Is there a safe in here?" "Thank you." "James, no." "That's amazing." "There you are, you see?" "You have a heart of gold." "Eighteen karat." "(CLICKING)" "You must go." "Well, you go first." "I'll turn off the lights." "Thank you." "Take care of yourself." "And you." "(ALL CALLING)" "(GUN FIRING)" "(HORN SOUNDING)" "(GROWLING)" "Ah, my dear Bond." "This is Mademoiselle Deladier and La Signorina del Mateo." "Ladies." "DRAX:" "I'll see you at lunch." "A pity you leave us." "Such good sport." "Unless you're a pheasant." "(CHUCKLING) Really, Mr. Bond." "Take my gun, a stray bird may fly over." "I only stopped to thank you for your hospitality." "Fraser will get you to the airport in plenty of time." "Come now." "(GUN COCKING)" "I doubt if I'm in your class." "Oh, you're too modest, Mr. Bond." "(CHIRPING)" "Over there." "You missed, Mr. Bond." "Did I?" "As you said, such good sport." "You called for me, Mr. Drax." "You were with Bond last night in my study." "No, I..." "You showed him the safe." "I didn't." "I'm terminating your employment." "You will leave immediately." "(DOG BARKING)" "(BELL TOLLING)" "Franco, I'll call you to tell you where to meet me." "(AGREEING IN ITALIAN)" "Could I interest you in something?" "Why, I'm tempted to say yes immediately." "But I think maybe I'd better have a look around." "Please." "Go anywhere you wish." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "GUIDE:" "And in 1955, the Venini Museum and Glass Works was taken over by Drax Industries." "And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have some of the rarest examples of the glassblower's art." "As you know, everything was done absolutely by hand." "Here is a vase done by Lorenzo Graziati, sometime between 1850 and 1860." "If you'd like to follow me over here." "This exquisite bowl was fashioned about 1520, over 450 years ago." "If it ever came on the market, it would certainly fetch a price in excess of one million American dollars." "But if any of you are thinking of taking it... (ALARM BLARING)" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "GUIDE:" "Now, we have here a very early 17th century dish with an aquamarine medallion." "Over here, we have something very, very interesting." "This glass-handled sword, the only one of its kind in the world, was owned by General Menotti in the late 18th century and is the work of Bruno..." "(DOOR OPENS)" "(MEN CHATTERING)" "14th century." "Dr. Goodhead." "I can only hope your presence here is a coincidence, Mr. Bond." "I dislike being spied on." "Well, don't we all?" "You're staying at the Danieli, aren't you?" "Yes." "How did you know?" "Well, I like to keep abreast of things." "May I ask what you're doing in Venice?" "I'm addressing a seminar of the European Space Commission." "My, heavy stuff." "But there again, I keep forgetting that you are more than just a very beautiful woman." "If you're trying to be ingratiating, Mr. Bond, don't bother." "I have more important things on my mind." "Ah, that's what I'd like to talk to you about." "Dinner this evening?" "This evening I'm giving my address." "Well, then, can you think of reason why we don't have a drink afterwards?" "Not immediately." "But I'm sure I shall." "Franco." "(MOTOR BOAT APPROACHING)" "(COUGHING)" "(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)" "(YELLING IN ITALIAN)" "(DOOR OPENS)" "(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)" "(MEN CHATTERING)" "(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)" "(ALARM BLARING)" "(CHOKING)" "(SHOUTING)" "(ALARM BLARING)" "(ALARM STOPS)" "(SHOUTING)" "(MAN SINGING IN ITALIAN)" "(CRASHING)" "(ALL CLAMORING)" "Play it again, Sam." "(EXCLAIMING)" "(GASPING)" "What the hell are you doing here?" "Convalescing." "Your friend Cha just tried to kill me." "And you think I had something to do with it?" "Well, the thought had flashed across my mind." "What's Drax up to in that laboratory?" "Why don't you ask him yourself?" "You leaving me your telephone number?" "I don't see the point." "Ah, now I do." "Not what I want to get stuck with tonight." "James, why don't you pour yourself a drink, huh?" "Thank you." "Daily diary." "Fairly deadly diary." "Bollinger." "If it's '69, you were expecting me." "Trifle overpowering, your scent." "(BEEPING)" "Standard CIA equipment." "And the CIA placed you with Drax, correct?" "Very astute of you, James." "Oh, not really." "I have friends in low places." "Could this possibly be the moment for us to pool our resources?" "It could have its compensations." "Where are you planning on going from here?" "I'm not planning on going anywhere." "Oh, I suppose you're right, Holly." "We would be better off working together." "Detente?" "Agreed." "Understanding?" "Possibly." "Cooperation?" "Maybe." "Trust?" "Out of the question." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Send the night porter up for my bags immediately, please." "(GUARD SPEAKING ITALIAN)" "I hope you know what you're doing, Bond." "I've played bridge with this fellow Drax." "007 doesn't usually push the panic button unless it's something serious." "I should hope not." "Good morning, Inspector." "Good morning." "I see you've covered everything with our Italian friends." "Yes, sir." "(SPEAKING ITALIAN)" "Is this it?" "Yes, sir." "(SPEAKING ITALIAN)" "Gas masks?" "We can't afford to take any chances, Minister." "DRAX:" "Frederick Gray." "What a surprise." "And in distinguished company, all wearing gas masks." "You must excuse me, gentlemen, not being English," "I sometimes find your sense of humor rather difficult to follow." "On behalf of the British government, I apologize." "I think you owe us an explanation, 007." "I've never been so humiliated in my life." "Your man should be taken off the assignment." "I'll see you at the consulate." "I'll have to do what he says." "Well, before you do that, sir, have Q do an analysis of this." "I took it from the laboratory." "Tell him to exercise extreme caution." "It is lethal." "So, there was a laboratory." "You better take two weeks leave of absence, 007." "Do have any thoughts about where you might go?" "I've always had a hankering to go to Rio, sir." "I think I can recall your mentioning it." "007, no slipups or we're both in trouble." "Yes, a minor crisis has been averted." "No, no, nothing serious, but all merchandise is to be rerouted as from today." "Now, regarding a replacement for Cha, do you have someone in mind?" "Oh, yes, well, if you can get him, of course." "WOMAN ON PA:" "Flight BA 128 to Rio de Janeiro now boarding, gate number seven." "(BUZZING)" "Welcome to Rio, Mr. Bond." "(CLICKING)" "(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)" "The President Suite." "Really?" "Well, don't bother showing me the rest." "If I get lost, I'll take a cab." "(RATTLING)" "Do you come with the suite?" "It depends who's renting it." "Vodka martini?" "Shaken not stirred." "Why were you following me from the airport?" "I was trying to meet you." "My name is Manuela." "I work for Station VH." "We have been asked to assist you." "M thinks of everything." "Tell me, Manuela, do the initials C and W mean anything to you?" "C and W?" "Yes, Carlos and Wilmsberg." "They are very big importers in Rio." "A subsidiary of the Drax Group, I believe." "They have a warehouse on Carioca Avenue." "I'd like to pay it a discreet visit tonight." "Tonight?" "I think you may find that a little difficult." "Difficult or not, it's something we have to do." "And meanwhile, how do you kill five hours in Rio if you don't samba?" "(FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING)" "MANUELA:" "There's the warehouse." "And not a soul about." "I think there's a way around the back." "Good thinking." "(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)" "This is it." "Don't talk to any strange men." "I'll be back." "(MEN PARTYING)" "(DRUMS PLAYING)" "(CROWD PARTYING)" "(PEOPLE APPROACHING)" "Are you all right?" "Yes, but I'd rather dance with you." "I did tell you not to talk to any strange men." "(CHUCKLING)" "Did you find anything in there?" "Only this." ""Drax Air Freight."" "Do you know which airport they operate from?" "Yes." "San Pietro." "Do you want me to take you there?" "No, I think you need some rest." "Come on." "I'll drop you off." "Okay." "(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)" "Haven't we met before somewhere?" "The face is familiar, as is the manner." "It's become distinctly chilly since Venice." "Well, that was before you walked out on me." "Yes, nearly tripping over your suitcase on the way through the door." "So?" "So why waste time working against each other?" "I've checked Drax's warehouse in town." "It's empty." "That's no surprise." "Since I've been here, those planes have been taking off every two hours." "Yes." "He's moving out." "Where to?" "That's what we're going to find out, now that we're working together." "I still don't know if I trust you." "I don't know if I trust you either." "That's what makes it more exciting, doesn't it?" "What's wrong?" "I don't know." "But I'm sure we're better off out than in." "Bring that chain." "Hang on, James." "The thought had occurred to me." "I might have guessed." "Do you know him?" "Not socially." "His name's Jaws." "He kills people." "Here, give me the chain." "Come on." "Hang on to me." "Jump." "(CRASHING)" "Have you broken something?" "Only my tailor's heart." "What was that for?" "For saving my life." "Remind me to do it more often." "Oh, thank you, but we're in great shape." "(SIREN WAILING)" "(CLEARING THROAT)" "(SCREAMING)" "Sorry about that." "(CRASHING)" "(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)" "(BOTH SHOUTING)" "James!" "You look as though you've just fallen off a mountain." "Well, it's funny you should say that, Moneypenny." "As a matter of fact, I was in a cable car and..." "Never mind." "The other courtyard." "Ah, there you are, 007." "Balls, Q?" "Bolas, 007." "Good." "Have that ready for Army Day." "Yes, sir." "Where's M?" "He's in the office over there." "Q:" "This way." "Good morning, 007." "Good morning, sir." "You're just in time." "Sit down." "Thank you, sir." "Q's come up with something." "Splendid." "Any news of Dr. Goodhead?" "Afraid not." "Right, Q." "Well, it's a breakdown on that phial of liquid you picked up in Venice." "You know, you seem to be right, 007." "Thank you." "It's a highly toxic nerve gas that appears to have no effect on animals." "May I see the formula?" "It's a chemical formula of a plant." "Orchideae anegra." "A very rare orchid indeed." "Yes." "It was thought to be extinct." "Until a missionary brought one back from the upper reaches of the Amazoco." "Well, actually he brought it back from the area of the River Tapirape." "Well done, James." "You better get up there and fast." "And I've got something to get him there, if 007 can be trusted to look after it." "(BIRD CAWING)" "(GUN FIRING)" "(GUNS FIRING)" "Mr. Bond, you defy all my attempts to plan an amusing death for you." "You're not a sportsman, Mr. Bond." "Why did you break off the encounter with my pet python?" "I discovered he had a crush on me." "Jaws." "MAN 1 ON PA:" "Moonraker One on preset launch program, minus two minutes." "Retract crew access arm." "MAN 2 ON PA:" "CAA retracted." "Transfer orbiter power." "Internal power transferred." "Activate hydraulics." "WOMAN ON PA:" "Hydraulics activated." "MAN 1:" "Activate auxiliary power unit." "MAN 2:" "APU activated." "LH2 replenish." "WOMAN:" "Status confirmed." "MAN 1:" "Pressurize MPS helium tanks." "WOMAN:" "Helium flight pressure confirmed." "What exactly are you up to here, Drax?" "BOND:" "And why the orchids?" "The curse of a civilization." "It was neither war nor pestilence that wiped out the race who built the great city lying around us." "It was their reverence for this lovely flower." "Because long-term exposure to its pollen caused sterility." "Correct, Mr. Bond." "As you discovered, I have improved upon sterility." "Those same seeds now yield death." "Not, of course, to animals or plant life." "One must preserve the balance of nature." "Moonraker launch program now commencing." "MAN 2:" "Minus 20 seconds." "MAN 1:" "SRB gimbal profile." "WOMAN:" "Activated." "MAN 1:" "Cooling pumps." "MAN 2:" "On." "IMU to inertial." "WOMAN:" "IMU confirmed." "Moonraker One, liftoff." "(MOONRAKER LIFTING OFF)" "WOMAN:" "We have liftoff." "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Two, T minus ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." "MAN 2:" "Main engine start." "Moonraker Two, liftoff." "(MOONRAKER LIFTING OFF)" "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Three." "MAN 2:" "Moonraker Three, liftoff." "Moonraker Two, confirm program pitch." "PP confirmed." "Moonraker Four on preset launch program." "Moonraker Four, liftoff." "Moonraker One, SRB jettison." "We have separation." "Confirmed." "Moonraker Three, confirm program pitch." "Moonraker Five, on preset launch program." "Minus ten..." "Drax, one more thing." "You delivered a shuttle to the U.S. government, then you hijacked it." "Why?" "Because I needed it." "One of my own Moonrakers developed a fault during assembly." "Now, you have distracted me enough." "Jaws, Mr. Bond must be cold after his swim." "Place him where he can be assured of warmth." "MAN 2:" "Confirmed." "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Two, go for orbit." "Velocity, 1,000 feet per second." "All systems..." "SRB jettison." "Separation motors fired." "Moonraker Five, cleared for launch." "James." "BOND:" "Thank God, you're safe." "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Five, transfer orbiter power." "WOMAN:" "Hydraulics activated." "MAN 1:" "Activate auxiliary power unit." "WOMAN:" "APU activated." "MAN 1:" "LH2 replenish." "MAN 2:" "Confirm." "Even in death, my munificence is boundless." "When this rocket lifts off," "I shall be leaving you in your own private crematorium." "Mr. Bond, Dr. Goodhead, I bid you farewell." "MAN 1:" "EPS, power on." "MAN 2:" "EPS, power confirmed." "Come on, the air vent." "MAN 2:" "Fuel tanks go, and go." "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Five, preset." "External LH2 pressure." "Retract crew access arm." "MAN 2:" "CAA retracted." "Get back quick." "MAN 1:" "T minus ten seconds, nine, seven, six, five, four..." "Bang on time." "Four, three, two..." "Come on, quick." "Straight on." "Moonraker Six, astro-technicians prepare to embark." "I repeat, Moonraker Six astro-technicians, prepare to embark." "Moonraker Five crew." "All systems go." "Moonraker Six, start launch sequence." "WOMAN:" "Go for orbit." "MAN 2:" "Confirm." "We have separation." "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Five ground crew stand down." "Thrust 6.8 million pounds." "We're going the wrong way." "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Six, preset launch program completed." "MAN 2:" "Pilots proceed from base to launch area." "MAN 2:" "Shuttle go." "Boosters go." "Launch pad go." "MAN 1:" "External LO2 pressure?" "WOMAN:" "Confirmed, 21 psia." "MAN 1:" "External LH2 pressure?" "WOMAN:" "Confirmed, 42.5 psia." "MAN 2:" "IECF to internal power." "CAA retracted." "MAN 1:" "Moonraker Six cleared for launch." "T minus 10 seconds." "Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, go." "It's all right." "We're on a prearranged flight program." "(SWITCHES CLICKING)" "That's Drax in Moonraker Five." "What about the others?" "I don't know." "Let's see." "We're all on parallel courses." "So, we must be headed for a rendezvous in orbit." "Let's see what cargo we have." "The animals went in two by two." "What do you mean by that?" "Noah's Ark." "This operation." "We're converging." "Control rockets?" "Yes, we're slowing down." "What's that?" "There's no image on the radar scanner." "An entire city in space and still nothing on the radar scanner." "So nobody on Earth knows it's there." "Right." "Drax must have a radar-jamming system." "MAN 1 ON PA:" "All Moonrakers prepare to initiate docking procedures and continue radio silence." "Moonraker Six, you are now in manual." "Initiate docking sequence." "All shuttles now docked." "Execute station activation procedure." "Gravity, normal conditions." "Life-support system, nominal." "MAN 1 ON PA:" "Moonraker Six technicians, commence operational sequence." "MAN 2 ON PA:" "Sequence four initiated." "Check airlock seals." "ALS secure." "All personnel to Command satellite." "All personnel to Command satellite." "All crews to M5 segment." "Moonraker Six technicians to M2 segment." "Moonraker One and Three to M1 segment." "Moonraker Four and Five to M4 segment." "Moonraker Two to M5 segment." "Units four and seven, man console as planned." "Units one, three, five and six, assume pre-assigned stations." "Pressure on-line?" "Confirmed." "Life support?" "Normal." "Those are the globes I saw in Venice with the nerve gas phials inside." "DRAX:" "First there was a dream." "Now there is reality." "Here in the untainted cradle of the heavens will be created a new super-race, a race of perfect physical specimens." "You have been selected as its progenitors, like gods." "Your offspring will return to Earth and shape it in their image." "You have all served in humble capacities in my terrestrial empire." "Your seed, like yourselves, will pay deference to the ultimate dynasty which I alone have created." "From their first day on Earth they will be able to look up and know that there is law and order in the heavens." "MAN 1:" "All units, start Operation Orchid." "If we were visible from Earth, they'd investigate." "Where do you suppose that radar-jamming system is?" "We didn't pass anything on the way here, so let's try this way." "MAN 1:" "Station two, check coordinates, mode four." "Initiate globe launch timing sequence." "Orbital communicator, level 10." "Zero gravity." "GOODHEAD:" "This is it, the radar-jamming system." "MAN 1 ON PA:" "Coordinate conversion program." "MAN 2 ON PA:" "Check." "Side lobe gain." "Check." "Spectral response." "Check." "Spin stabilizer correction factor." "Okay." "Gigahertz reflector efficiency." "Solar photon screen." "Where did you learn to fight like that?" "NASA?" "No, Vassar." "Switched off?" "Permanently." "Now we can be spotted from Earth." "This doesn't look good at all." "It's over 200 meters in diameter." "Yes, yes." "Will you please listen, General Gogol?" "We didn't put it up there." "Neither did we, Colonel Scott." "So what are you suggesting?" "We've taken action already." "We're sending up a vehicle to intercept." "Very well, but if we don't hear from you in the next 12 hours we take action ourselves and hold you responsible for the consequences." "We'll be in touch, General." "Sorry to have woken you." "(SCOFFS) I was already awake." "How can I sleep?" "Nothing but problems." "Problems, problems." "MAN ON PA:" "Marine astronauts to launch pad." "TECHNICIAN:" "Launch pre-program complete, sir." "Launch globe number one." "(GROANS)" "(CLANGING)" "(GROANS)" "T.D.R.S.S. reports a launch, sir." "Continental U.S.A. Vandenberg." "There are no launches scheduled." "Check radar-jamming system." "(COMPUTER BEEPING)" "Well?" "Jamming power supply and backup have failed, sir." "DRAX:" "Investigate immediately." "TECHNICIAN:" "Investigate number 28, immediately." "James Bond." "You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season." "I didn't think there were any seasons in space." "As far as you're concerned, only winter." "And the treacherous Dr. Goodhead." "Despite your efforts, my finely wrought dream approaches its fulfillment." "Your dream, whatever sort of nightmare it is, hasn't a chance, Drax." "You think not?" "We shall see." "We're coming up to second launch position." "Launch globe number two." "No doubt you have realized the splendor of my conception." "First, a necklace of death about the Earth." "50 globes, each releasing its nerve gas over a designated area, each capable of killing 100 million people." "And the human race as you know it will cease to exist." "Then a rebirth, a new world." "U.S. spacecraft on course to intercept us, sir." "Activate laser." "Prepare to destroy spacecraft." "You see, my dear Bond, we're well able to protect ourselves against all enemies." "Allow me to introduce you to the airlock chamber." "Observe, Mr. Bond, your route from this world to the next." "And you, Dr. Goodhead." "Your desire to be America's first woman in space will shortly be fulfilled." "Leaving you on your flying stud farm, conceiving your new master race?" "If you like, yes." "And of course, anyone not measuring up to your standards of physical perfection" "will be exterminated." "DRAX:" "Certainly." "Interesting." "Most interesting." "Jaws, expel them." "Jaws!" "You obey me!" "Expel them!" "Hold them!" "Sir, U.S. spacecraft, three minutes to intercept." "Stand by to laser it." "MAN 1 ON PA:" "Initiate firing sequence." "MAN 2 ON PA:" "Initiating." "WOMAN ON PA:" "U.S. spacecraft in laser range, 25.5 and closing." "Range 15." "Range 10." "MAN 1:" "Prepare to fire." "Five, four, three, two..." "It's stopped rotating." "Open the cargo doors." "Number one platoon, EVA." "Number one platoon, EVA." "(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO)" "Let's try docking." "MAN:" "Colonel Scott will take the first landing!" "TECHNICIAN:" "Intruders have docked at satellite seven, sir." "DRAX:" "Double the guard at every entrance in this satellite." "Report intruders' progress throughout the space station." "Number three globe ready for launching, sir." "Proceed!" "(GLOBE LAUNCHING)" "MAN ON PA:" "Group One, attack enemy." "All units shoot to kill." "Colonel Scott, don't shoot." "Hold your fire." "MAN ON PA:" "Corridor five penetrated." "Intruders advancing on Command satellite." "Maintenance crew needed, section three." "(ALARM BLARING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(CRASHING)" "At least I shall have the pleasure of putting you out of my misery." "Desolated, Mr. Bond?" "(GROANING)" "Heartbroken, Mr. Drax." "(GASPING)" "Allow me." "Take a giant step for mankind." "(SCREAMING)" "Where's Drax?" "Oh, he had to fly." "How's Scott doing?" "He's got control of the Command satellite." "We put the launching gear for the globes out of action." "When the station breaks up, they'll disintegrate." "They'll harm no one." "But the three that have gone, they'll kill millions." "Those three must be destroyed." "Come on!" "Colonel, get your men off as quickly as possible." "Your mission is completed." "Sergeant, round up your men, get them back to the shuttle." "Fast!" "Back to the shuttle, everybody!" "On the double!" "Moonraker Five, that's the answer." "Drax's shuttle is armed with a laser." "We can track those globes and destroy them." "It's hopeless, sir." "The corridor's blocked." "They can't get to us now." "All right, let's go." "Docking release system is jammed." "Release the door lock." "I'll see if I can operate it manually." "It's jammed too." "Well, here's to us." "Jaws, we can't disengage." "The docking release system is jammed." "Can you help us?" "We're free." "Don't worry, they'll make it." "It's only 100 miles to Earth." "Let's get a read-out on those globes." "(EXPLOSION)" "I have the three globes on the screen." "We should have a visual in a minute." "There it is." "The laser's on automatic." "Code 945 set." "One down, two to go." "Number two straight ahead." "What is it?" "We're skipping on the Earth's atmosphere." "In range." "We should see the last one soon." "There it is." "It's getting hot." "It can't be helped." "I'm coming in at a steeper angle than I should in order to catch that last globe." "I can't hold this course much longer." "We'll break up at 200,000 feet." "Just a few seconds more." "Automatic firing system negative." "Must be the heat." "Switching to manual." "Controls aren't responding." "The wings are beginning to glow." "Just hold her steady." "Steady." "GOODHEAD:" "It's entering Earth's atmosphere!" "James, this is our last chance." "Steady." "Colonel Scott reports picking up two survivors from the space station, a tall man and a short blonde woman." "Right." "Okay." "Dr. Goodhead reported their position 20 minutes ago." "They're just coming into range of our tracking ship in the Pacific Ocean." "We should have audiovisual within a few minutes from the remote onboard TV monitors." "MAN ON RADIO:" "Houston calling Dr. Goodhead." "Houston calling." "Confirm your position." "As this is the first joint venture between our two countries," "I'm having it patched directly to the White House and Buckingham Palace." "Well, I'm sure Her Majesty will be fascinated." "MAN:" "We have audiovisual." "Ah, at last." "(PEOPLE MURMURING)" "(SOFTLY) 007." "My God, what's Bond doing?" "I think he's attempting re-entry, sir." "James?" "I think it may be time to go home." "Take me round the world one more time." "Why not?" "Uploaded by [ sRtFeVeR ] new srt source" "♪ Where are you?" "♪ Why do you hide?" "♪ Where is that moonlight trail" "♪ That leads to your side?" "♪ Just like the Moonraker goes" "♪ In search of his dream of gold" "♪ I search for love" "♪ For someone to have and hold" "♪ I've seen your smile" "♪ In a thousand dreams" "♪ Felt your touch" "♪ And it always seems" "♪ You love me" "♪ You love me" "♪ Where are you?" "♪ When will we meet?" "♪ Take my unfinished life" "♪ And make it complete" "♪ Just like the Moonraker knows" "♪ His dream will come true someday" "♪ I know that you" "♪ Are only a kiss away" "♪ I've seen your smile" "♪ In a thousand dreams" "♪ Felt your touch" "♪ And it always seems" "♪ You love me"

"See, Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed!" "The One With the Jam" "Sync with BoB.720p Version By .:" "TvWorld.ir :." "Hey, look at me!" "I'm making jam!" " I've been at it since 4 a. m." " Where'd you get fruit at 4 a. m. ?" "Went down to the docks." "Betcha didn't know you can get it wholesale." "I didn't know there were docks." " Hey." " Hey." "Is it broken?" "No, but I gotta wear this for a couple weeks." "Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?" "No." "I had a whole story worked out, but then Chandler sold me out." "I'm sorry, Joe." "I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just fell out of the socket." "What is this?" "Fruit?" "Monica's making jam." "Oh, jam?" "I love jam!" "Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?" "Because the kids need new shoes." "I'm going into business." "I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard." "I needed a plan." "A plan to get over my man." "What's the opposite of man?" "Jam!" "Oh, Joey, don't!" "It's way too hot!" "This'll just be my batch." "That's it." "No." "Hey, you, J. Crew guy..." "Why have you been following me?" "All week long, everywhere I look, there's you." "You wouldn't return my calls." " You sent back my letters." " What?" "One more chance, Ursula." "Please." "Oh, well, this is awkward." "Yeah, because you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe." "Twin sisters." "Seriously." "That's great." "I'm stalking the wrong woman." "I am such a dingus!" "Oh, you're not a dingus." "I just want you to know I didn't used to be like this." "Before I met your sister, I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones." "I mean, look, it's not your fault, you know." "I mean, this is just what she does to guys, okay?" "So just..." "Well, thanks." "Wait." "You know what?" "I got a little story." "When I was in junior high, I went through a period where I thought I was a witch." "And there was this guidance counselor who said something that I think will help you a lot." "He said, "Okay, you're not a witch." "You're just an average student. "" " See what I'm saying?" " Not really." "Well, get over it." "So..." "I mean, you just, you seem like a really nice guy." "You know, and just..." "Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?" "You're right." "I know you're right." "And thanks for being so nice." "Here." "Thanks a lot." "Do you want to get a cup of coffee?" " Yeah, okay." " Okay." "You don't have to walk behind me anymore." " Mon?" " Mon?" ""Gone for more jars." "Back later." "Monica Geller. "" " Wait a minute." "Look!" " What?" " Look." "Look." "Look." " What?" "What?" "What?" "It's an empty apartment." "We're all alone in an empty apartment." "Oh, honey, come on." "I have to be at work in, like, ten minutes." "All right." "Well, it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything." "There it is!" "Oh, that's what you're talking about." " Hey." " Hey." "Do I look fat?" " No." " No." "Okay." "I accept that." "When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow." "Okay." "Walk us through it, honey." "Walk us through it." "Okay, well, Janice said, "Hi." "Do I look fat today?" And I looked at her..." "Whoa." "Whoa." "Whoa." "You looked at her?" "You never look." "You just answer." "It's like a reflex." ""Do I look fat?" "No. "" ""Is she prettier than I am?" "No. "" " Does size matter?" " No!" "And it works both ways." "Okay, so you both just know this stuff?" "You know, after about 30 or 40 fights, you kind of catch on." "Okay." "For instance:" "Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options." "Option number one:" "She'll take a cab home from the airport." "Or option two:" "You can meet her at baggage claim." "What do you do?" " That's easy." "Baggage claim." " Wrong!" "Now you're single." "It's actually secret option number three." "You meet her at the gate." "That way she knows you love her." "Okay, this is good." "All right, listen." "I have one." "Janice likes to cuddle at night, which I'm all for." "But when you want to go to sleep, you want some space." "So how do I tell her that without you know, accidentally calling her fat or something?" "Oh, honey." "I'm sorry." "We can't help you there, because we're cuddly sleepers." "Okay." "I'm late for work." "All right." "Are you guys going to come down?" " Yeah." "I'm right behind you." " Okay." "Good luck, Chandler." " Thank you." " Bye, sweetie." "Bye, honey." "Okay, the sleeping thing." "Very tricky business, but there is something you can do." " I thought you were "cuddly sleepers. "" " No." "No." "Not cuddly." "Not me." "Just her." "I'm like you." "I need the room." "Okay, come here." " Okay." "You're in bed." " Yeah." " I'm gonna use the cushion." " Yeah." "Okay." "You're in bed." "She's over on your side, cuddling." "Now, you wait for her to drift off and then you hug her and roll her over to her side of the bed." "And then you roll away." "Hug for her." "Roll for you." "Okay." "The old "hug and roll. "" " Okay." "One question." " Shoot." "You're pretending the pillow's a girl, right?" "Remember when you were a kid and your mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?" "You're so pretty." " Hi!" " Hey, Phoebe!" "Hey, you know that guy who's been following me?" "I talked to him today." "You talked to him?" "Are you crazy?" "Okay." "First, I'm not crazy." "And second, say it, don't spray it." "Anyway, his name is Malcolm, and he wasn't following me." "I mean, he was, but just because he thought I was Ursula." "That's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me." "Because of the restraining order." "Not feeling better about Malcolm." "No, no, no." "He's not a kook." "He's just this, like, very passionate, incredibly romantic guy that just got, like, a teensy bit carried away, you know." "And we just get along really well, and he is so cute." "Oh, my God!" "You've got a crush on your sister's stalker." "I'm just going to help him." "You know." "Get de-Ursula-ized." "Like, you know." "Like I did for Joey after he went out with her." "I didn't stalk her, I mean..." " I asked for the news, not the weather." " Sorry." " Hey, guys." " Hey, Mon." "Joey, this is for you." "It's blackberry currant." "Joe, I got to ask." "The girl from the Xerox place, buck naked or a big tub of jam?" "Put your hands together." "Joey, take your time with that." "That's my last batch." "No more jam?" "Well, what happened to your jam plan?" "I figured out I'd need to charge 17 bucks a jar just to break even." "So I've got a new plan now." "Babies." "Well, you're gonna need much bigger jars." " What are you talking about?" " I'm talking about me having a baby." " Are you serious?" " Yeah." "The great thing about the jam plan was I was taking control of my life." "So I asked myself, "What is the most important thing to me in the world?"" "And that's when I came up with the baby plan." "Aren't you forgetting something?" "What is that guy's name?" "Dad!" "It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanted to spend my life with." "If I have to wait another 28 years, then I'll be 56 before I can have a baby." "And that's just stupid." "That's what's stupid?" "I don't need an actual man." "Just a couple of his best swimmers." "And there are places that you can go to get that stuff." "Down to the docks again?" "Night-night, Bing-a-ling." "Night-night Janice." "Look at all that room on her side!" "You could fit a giant penguin over there." "That'd be weird, though." "Hug and roll time." "I'm hugging." "I'm hugging." "You're rolling, and..." "Yes!" "Freedom!" "Except for this arm!" "I'm stuck." "Stuck arm." "Okay." "Time for the old tablecloth trick." "One fluid motion." "Quick like a cat." "Quick like a cat." "And one, two three!" "Here's my binoculars." "Great." "You're doing great, you know." "Real strong." "Going strong." "Keep going." "These are my night-vision goggles." "This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park." "And these are Mad Libs." "They're just for fun." "What's this?" "This is the log I kept, recording her every movement." "You want to hear something from it?" "Not even a little bit." "It's about you." "Oh." "Okay, then." ""I met Phoebe today." "She was really nice to me even though I'm such a loser." "And when I was walking home, I thought about her a lot." "It was weird, but kind of cool. "" "Good." "So, what were you thinking?" "I was thinking what it'd be like to kiss you." " Really?" " No." "See, that's just something I said now so that maybe I could kiss you." "Oh, okay." "No, it's all right." "I just had a jar of mustard." "Okay." "Sperm donor number 03815, come on down!" "Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds." "And he describes himself as a male Geena Davis." "You mean there's more than one of us?" "You can't do this, Mon." "All right." "If you do this, I'm gonna..." " You're gonna what?" " I'm gonna tell Mom." "Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right." "I love you, but you're crazy." "Why?" "Why is this crazy?" " So this isn't the ideal way..." " Oh, it's not the ideal... ?" "Lips moving." "Still talking." "It may not be ideal, but I'm so ready." "I see the way Ben looks at you." "It makes me ache, you know?" "Check it out!" "Jam crackers!" "Okay." "All right, how's this?" "Twenty-seven, Italian-American guy." "He's an actor." "Born in Queens." "Wow!" "Big family." "Seven sisters and he's the only boy." "Oh, my God!" "Under personal comments:" ""New York Knicks rule. "" "Yeah, the Knicks rule!" "Joey, this is you!" "Let me see." "Oh, right." "When did you go to a sperm bank?" "Oh, right after I did that sex study down at NYU." "Hey, remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?" "And that's how you bought it?" "No." "That's what I was wearing when I donated." "I'm kind of surprised there's any of my boys left." "Honey, it is pretty competitive." "I mean, I've got an actual rocket scientist here." "Maybe I should call this place and get them to put my Days of our Lives gig on here." "Juice this puppy up a little." " Hey." " Hey!" "How's the maniac?" "He's yummy." "We did a little kissing." " Phoebe, what are you doing?" " Oh, no." "No." "No." "You know what?" "He's not into that stuff anymore." "He quit for me." "This guy has been obsessed with your sister for God knows how long, okay." "You don't just give up something like that." "So look, he gave me his night-vision goggles and everything." "So..." "You're taking the word of a guy who has night-vision goggles?" "What?" "He's not still following her." "You think he's still following her?" "Pheebs." "Wake up and smell the restraining order." "What are you saying I should do?" "I think that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him." "Thank you, Monica." "Or you could follow him and see where he goes." "Oh, that's what I would do." "Forget mine." "Oh, my God!" "What happened?" "Oh, God." "Crazy Chandler." "He spun me off the bed." "Wow!" "Spinning." "That sounds like fun." "I wish." "No." "You know, he was just trying Ross' "hug and roll" thing." "Ross' what?" "You know." "Like where he hugs you and then kind of rolls you away, and..." "Oh my God!" " Phoebe?" " Yes?" "Yes!" "What are you doing?" "Oh, I was just here looking for my..." "Part of an old sandwich." "Here it is!" "Were you following me?" "Perhaps." "Yes." "Yes." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister." "So you spied on me." "I can't believe you don't trust me." "Oh, well, what do you know?" "There goes my identical twin sister!" "Just walking along, looking like me." "Well, is this like a freakish coincidence, or did you know that she takes this train?" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I tried to stop, but I couldn't." "I'm so pathetic." "No." "No, it's not your fault." "You know, it's partly my fault." "It's 'cause I made you quit cold turkey." "Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore because you're, you know..." "Wow!" "But I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister." "Okay?" "Stalk me for a while, huh?" "Yeah, and I'll be like an Ursula patch." " I don't know." " Yeah!" "Just..." "Okay." "Look, I'm going!" "Come on." "I'm behind the pillar." "Which way am I gonna go?" " Hey." " Hey." " Where you going?" " To the bank." "Sperm or regular?" "Sperm." " So you're really doing it, huh?" " Oh, yeah." "I picked a guy. 37135." "Sounds nice." "I'd say so." "He's got brown hair and green eyes." "No kidding?" " What?" " I figured you would have picked a blond." " Really?" "Why?" " I don't know." "I always pictured you ending up with a tall, smart, blond guy with a name like Hoyt." "Hoyt?" "It's a name." "Yeah." "I saw you in this, you know, this great house with a big pool." "Yeah?" "Is he a swimmer?" "He's got the body for it." "I like that." "What?" "You have one of those signs that says:" ""We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool. " You know." " We do not have one of those signs." " Sure, you do." "It was a gift from me." "Oh!" "And you have these three great kids." " Two girls and a boy?" " Yeah!" "And they wear those little water wings, you know and they're running around on the deck." "And then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them." "Sure." "But, hey, you know, this way sounds good too." "Yeah." "Oh, Monica." "Wow!" "This guy's an astronaut?" "That would have been cool for like a day." "I called the sperm bank today." "They haven't sold a single unit of Tribbiani." "Nobody wants my product." "I mean, I don't get it, you know." "I mean..." "Maybe if they met me in person." "Honey, you got a little thing on your..." "Get it?" "Yeah." "Hello." "Hello." "Okay." "Chan, can I talk to you for a second?" "Sure." "What's up?" "Just one additional relationship thought." "Something you're probably already familiar with." "Women talk."

"Whitehead!" "Where are you?" "Whitehead!" "I know you're there!" "You can't hide from me!" "Oh!" "Please, God!" "Don't let him find me." "I can smell you!" "Friend?" "Hey, friend?" "Your name?" "Give me your name." "Whitehead!" "Where are you, man?" "You simpering dwarf!" "Don't let him find me." "Whitehead!" "I know you're there!" "Where are you?" "Six months, to root out one Irishman!" "Six months, Whitehead!" " Rid me of that pompous arse." " Instead, what do you find?" "The enemy!" "Please hear me." "I care not what the master might say." "No more mummery!" "You're finished, scrivener!" " Hey, friend!" " I'll hang you from the nearest tree!" "I've got you!" "There you are, you coward!" "This is the place, sir." "I am certain this time." " He is here!" " Lies!" "Astrology cannot be an exact business if the questions are ill-defined or the person or individual is sort..." "Damn your impudence, you obsequious little turd!" "Oh, my god!" "Your privy parts are doomed, homunculus!" " Come here." "No, thank you!" "Oh!" "Bawd's bastard." "Looks like your prayer is answered." "What do you see, friend?" "Nothing, perhaps." "Only shadows." "I cannot hear!" "Oh!" "Please!" "Has he passed?" "Shame." "Bit soft in the head but good with a pike." "We should pray." " You got anything to eat?" " Ah, no, sir." "Last thing I ate was a stoat." "A Welsh one at that." "Oh, fuck it." "I ain't going back over." " What about you?" " Oh, my man is dead." "I'm my own man." "There is another I am beholden to, my master." "There's always others, brother." "No doubt he'll find you." "They usually do." "Especially if they want their boots cleaned or the boils on their arses burst." "Fuck it." "This wars not been run to my liking." "Too much fucking marching about." "Not enough grub." "I'd give anything for a..." "A good stew and a bellyful of beer." "I was stopped a ways into the field when I hear the commotion." " You..." " Oh!" "Oh!" " Easy, friend!" " Ahhh!" " He was with the other lot!" " I am not your enemy, sir!" " Easy, now!" "I am not a soldier!" " What the fuck are you, then?" " I am a coward, sir!" "And what about you?" "What dispensation do you claim?" "There are no sides here, friend." "Let's stop acting like a bunch of cunts." "And we shall forge an alliance at the alehouse I passed earlier." "What say you?" "Did someone mention ale?" "Ugh." "I should go back, suffer the consequences of my failed mission." "What mission would that be, Mary?" "Pegging out the wash?" "I am not at liberty to discuss my master's business." "Perhaps he's right." "Perhaps we should all go back and suffer." "I feel that is what I do best anyway." "Jesus Christ could be here any minute." "We wouldn't want him to find us running away." "We're not running away." "We're going for beer, right?" "Perhaps he is right." "Beer has its own way of sorting things out, does it not?" "Forwards is back. 'Tis all the same." "God will find all as easy over a card table as swinging from a tree." "Allow me." "Ugh." "Sorry." "Er..." "Sorry." "Got orders to catch this fella once." "Stole a tablecloth." "There was no trees to hang him from, though, see." "We'd burnt 'em all for firewood." "Difficult business, hanging a man without a tree." " You all right?" " I am not a soldier!" "I'm not accustomed to this trajectory." "Go fucking back, then." "Go on." "Piss off." "He must not go back!" "Your man said you would hang, did he not?" "Can you be certain all his loyal men are dead and do not wait to wring your neck like a wet mop?" "You are as good as dead to them this side of the hedgerow." "Leave it to that, surely, friend." "Well, if God Almighty shall preserve my life," "I may hereafter add many great things and much light to my art!" "What's he say?" "He says the next time his master sends him on a job he won't fuck it up." "Good, good, good." "Say, I see nothing but shit and thistles all about." " Where's this alehouse, exactly?" " Across the field and beyond." " And you are paying, you say?" " You'll eat first, though." "I have fire, a pot, and something in it I was working at before I heard that business at the lane." "If nothing else, it'll fill your stomachs." "So, you'll not go back there?" "I am not accustomed to making decisions, but self-preservation fuels me, I admit." "We shall sample a better quality of suffering in this man's company," "I feel certain." "We shall stop for but a short time, though." "I may not be running, but I have no desire to linger in these parts." "I am only too aware that the odds are presently against a man living his full span." " Listen." "They have forgotten you already." "I wish the feeling were mutual." "The skirmish is moving elsewhere." "Fuck 'em, then, for being so flighty." "But surely someone will come after us." "We're only shadows here, remember?" "It will not be the first time I have left a wake of indifference behind me." "Down, down, down now." "Get down." "Get..." "Get down." "Get down!" "Down!" "Down, down, down." "Stay here." "Stay here." " Where you going?" " Stay here." "I'm not fucking staying here." "I was..." "I was a cooper at..." "I was a cooper at Wickford in Essex before I joined." "Oh?" "Have you ever been at Wickford?" " Ah, no." "I never have." " Course you haven't." "Yeah, quite right too." "Yeah." "You're a wise sort, you, ain't you?" "I could tell by your hands, all clean and soft and that." "Yeah, yeah." "You think about a thing before you touch it." "Am I right?" "Is that not usual?" "Not in Essex." "Yeah, recruiters came to the village, singing a song about the glory of the battle." "You know?" "Course, it isn't anything like that when you get your hands into..." "To the business of fighting, yeah." "Still have that song, though." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah." "What about you?" "Ah, assistant to a gentleman at Norwich, an eminent alchemist, physician and astrologer, amongst other things." "Right." "I was charged with the compilation of sundry details for his almanacs and charts, aid his prominent friends, patrons, politicians in their decisions, all of great rank and fortune." "I was often given leave of his library, which holds many a closely guarded tome, to educate myself." "My father's poverty forced me to leave school early, but the master saw something of a..." "Of a student in me." "Oh, an astrologer, you say?" "Right." "Yes." "Yes." "The, er, celestial bodies." "Their movements." "Oh?" "Prediction." "Prophecy." "Divination." "They hang above us." "The stars." "The planets." "No, I don't..." "Sorry." "Have you never looked up?" " Sounds badly paid." " Ah, well, well." "My master says that knowledge is its own payment." "Yeah, well, the only knowledge I have is that God controls my fate as he sees fit, and I try to draw consolation from that," "though I would like to know which of my many faults he's punishing me for now." "My master says," ""Whilst we live in fear of hell, we..." "We have it."" "Right." "Here." "They're coming back." " All right?" "All clear?" " Get up." "Baloo, my boy, lie still and sleep" "It grieves me sore to hear thee weep" "If thou'lt be silent, I'll be glad" "Thy moaning makes my heart full sad" "Baloo, my boy, thy mother's joy" "Thy father bred me great annoy" "Baloo, baloo Baloo, baloo" "Baloo, baloo" "Lu-li-li-lu" "O'er thee I'll keep my lonely watch" "Intent thy lightest breath to catch" "O, when thou wak'st to see thee smile" "And thus my sorrow to beguile Baloo, my boy..." "You strike me as a man of the world." "What line of business you in, squire?" "Buttons." "Baloo, my boy lie still and sleep..." "I'm going to have a shit." "It grieves me sore to hear thee weep... 12 weary months have crept away" "Since he, upon thy natal day left thee and me" "To seek afar" "A bloody fate in doubtful war..." "Baloo, my boy lie still and sleep..." "It grieves me sore to hear thee weep..." "If thou'lt be silent I'll be glad..." "Thy moaning makes my heart full sad..." "I dreamed a dream but yesternight" "Thy father slain in foreign fight" "He, wounded, stood beside my bed" "His blood ran down upon thy head" "He spoke no word but looked on me" "Bent low and gave a kiss to thee..." "Mutton?" "Baloo, baloo..." "Where?" "My darling boy" "Thou 'rt now alone Thy mother's joy" "Sounds like hard work." "Is it a boy or a girl?" " Fuck off!" "Ugh." "Fuck off!" "Fuck." "Fuck it!" "Ah!" "Fucking nettles." "Yeah." "You all right?" "Ugh." "You've got shit on you as well." "Help me up." "You never seen a man have a shit before?" "Go on, fuck off." "Ow..." "Oh." "A merry band, are we not?" "Formed merely by the alchemy of circumstance." " We would not otherwise associate." " Many chums, have you, back home?" "He has mostly been amongst books." "My balls scream like harpies." "Nevertheless, 'tis indeed a pleasure to find like-minded company in such remote parts." " Where am I?" " Monmouthshire." " Oh." "That near Essex, is it?" " No." "Don't bother." "He hears the call and puts one foot in front of the other." "Ain't that so, brother?" "My master predicts that impending events will stagger the monarch and kingdom." "After the alehouse, I shall stagger southeast." "I believe I have distant relatives at Gloucester." "I might go there." "Perhaps they have a large linen cupboard in which you could hide." " No stoat in here, is there?" " None." "We give humble thanks for this, thy special bounty, beseeching thee to continue thy loving kindness unto us, that our land may yield us her fruits of increase, divine glory and our comfort." " Through Jesus Christ, our Lord." "Amen." " Amen." "Long walk, that, Gloucester." "Better done on a full stomach." " Sell a lot of them, do you?" " What?" "Buttons." "Yeah, loads." " This rabbit?" " No." "Which end of this mysterious beast do I have, then?" " The arse end." "There is nothing like a gnawing hunger to slow a man's pace." "Or fix a man's resolve." "Eat it, man." "You don't have to marry it." "I cannot." "I'm set upon a particular fast." "Give it here, then, Mary." " Bit sour, but passable." "No more marching." "No more orders." "Any women at this alehouse?" "What?" "A pair of English tits not good enough for you?" "'Tis indeed a blessed relief to have been forgotten." "If I may ask a favour of you boys..." "I will not stand by like some gentleman while you pull more than your fair share." "Sounds more like an order." "I will take my weight right along with you." " What's at the end?" " Hang on, hang on." "Ah, rowan wood." "More important, what of the alehouse?" "After." "You know, that's a fine stake you've got there." "I'll give you that." "I don't pull well on an empty pocket." "Every man has his price." "My price ain't buttons." "Take your pick." "Well, I'll be jiggered." "Oh." "Mmm." "Hmm." "Ah." "You won't eat?" "I do not suffer the same hunger as our friends." "I believe they would sell any religion for a jug of beer." "You have an angel about you." "You've been touched for the king's evil." "What was it like to look upon His Majesty?" "Curiosity fuels you, then, not food." "Let the King worry on his own magic." "God knows he needs it." "I, however, need yours." "Pull, coward." " Pull!" " I am!" "You fuck!" "Take the strain." "Dig your heel in!" "Dig your heel in!" "All right!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "One, two, three." "Heave!" "One, two, three." "Heave!" " Pull!" " He's coming!" " Is that all?" "A fucking man?" "A cripple perhaps?" "Maybe he's uncommonly fat." "I once had to pull my father-in-law from a bog." "You're in possession of a wife?" "I can't believe that possible." "Perhaps, still, there was a misunderstanding, before I left, concerning a small fire." "He's coming!" "Get up, you lazy bastard!" "Pull, damn you!" "What beautiful colours." "No more pulling!" "I have brought assistance." "Oh!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "No, sir!" "We should intervene." "That is he." "Who?" "O'Neil." "The man I was charged with locating." "Then I am vindicated." "Right." "Get up, you bastard!" "Easy now." "Easy now." "Hold him tight, boys." "Beg pardon." "You men will assist me in his detainment." "Mmm." "Like gossamer." "What is it with you and hands?" "News is, Cromwell's men marched north to meet the Engagers." "I heard he exacted terrible revenge on the Welsh bastards at Pembroke, sir." "Indeed." "This Irish bastard requires his mirror." "Sorry, sir." "Here?" "What's that he holds?" "A scrying mirror." " A what?" "His what?" " An occult tool." "A means for telling the past, present, perhaps even the future." "He must have utilised some diabolical method to conceal his presence in the field." "That is why he was not visible." "You think he sees what an arsehole he looks, standing there like the King himself?" "No." "Wasn't sure which one he was at first." "Cowardly type, though." "You should not have any trouble from him." "He was the one that would not eat mushrooms." "I know which one he is, Cutler." "Come on." " Ugh." " Stand up!" "What are you doing?" "Get up." "I don't feel 'em." " What?" " My balls." "They've ceased screaming." "That is good, is it not?" "It means the nettle's sting has run its course." "Maybe I mislaid 'em when I was pulling the rope." "Whitehead." "O'Neil." "I have my quarry, sir." "You were expected, sir." "Indeed?" "A lot of time has passed since we shared company." "Things have changed." "In the absence of better-qualified men, sir," "I hereby place you under arrest for the theft of certain documents from the private collection of my master." "What the fuck is this?" "It's a shovel." "In the presence of Merciful God, I trust you will now surrender yourself and return willingly to Norwich to face your accuser." "How is our master?" "Well, I pray." "I believe he still has you doing a lot of that." "Praying, I mean." "The master is of advanced years, as you know." "Your outrageous pillage has greatly aggravated his dropsy." "Move." "What kind of merry band is this?" "I'm sure he would have come himself." "But instead he sends you." "The faithful servant." "Come, walk." "You need no invitation." "This is your country, is it not?" "Although I've claimed a small corner which I'm intent on raping a little." "'Tis only fair that I take something in return for my countrymen's troubles." "Cutler has you marked as a coward." "It's comforting to know that things haven't changed greatly in my absence." "'Tis true I hid in a bush as Mr Trower and his men were set upon." "Ah, Trower." "The dunderhead mercenary." "How is he?" "Dead." "Then your arrest is academic, is it not?" "Unless you will comply freely, as a Christian man." "It would seem the master has kept you a veritable virgin as to the workings of the world." "'Tis true I have been mostly amongst books." "I find pages easier to turn than people." "Although I confess I have acquired one new skill in your absence." "Indeed?" "Er, lacemaking." "Only in my spare time, which is limited, because of my increased duties in your absence, but, um, of the highest quality, I'm told." "He has not only kept you a stranger to the world but to yourself, it seems." "I do not follow." "You will." "Unfortunately, my constitution was not suited to the master's pious regiment." "I am forced to branch out on me own." "I owe money everywhere." "To so many I lose track." "Perhaps even to God himself." "We shall venture to Continental Europe when the opportunity arises." "I have had little success in applying the master's arts, in looking for anything of great worth." "Which is why I have conjured you." "This place holds a great treasure." "I am certain of it." "I merely require a keener eye to pinpoint the particular location." "And as much as I detest you personally, Whitehead," "I acknowledge that your gifts are stronger in certain areas." "But you are now my divining rod." "I have little of my master's art in divination." "You are confused, sir." "It is I who am capturing you, not the other way around." "Do not concern yourself with bravery now, Whitehead." ".-I-is official." "You are my prisoner." "Now, you will find the treasure in this field and they will dig it up" "and I will claim it." "I will not assist you in such an ungodly scheme, sir." "Hmm." "Oh, you will, Whitehead." "You will." "The world is turned upside-down, Whitehead, and so is its pockets." "Yes, make a note of that, Cutler, for my, er, memoirs and recollections." "I fear he has passed all bounds of Christianity." "He dresses well, though." " You are sick?" " No." "Yeah." "My feet are like lead." "I feel like I walk yet make no progress, and there's a terrible burning like the fires of hell upon me." "I have some knowledge of physic." "I will attend you as soon as circumstance allows." "Fuck off." "Say, friend." "Friend!" "My business with your man is concluded." "If 'tis all the same, I might bob off now." "I confess I feel peaky." "Could do with a few hours' kip." "Do not address me as "friend", and do not speak to me directly again." "Otherwise I'll turn you into a frog." "It does not surprise me that the Devil is an Irishman, though I thought perhaps a little taller." "Tell me." "I am curious." "How did an idiot like you come to stay alive so long?" "Commanding officer says I have fresh air between my ears." "Fresh air is good for a man's constitution, is it not?" "You may make a note of that." "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." "If turnips were watches, I'd wear one by my side." " If wishes were horses..." "Take courage." "If turnips were watches, I'd wear one by my side." "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride!" "If turnips were watches, I'd wear one by my side." " If wishes were horses, beggars would ride!" "What this party lacks is the civilising influence of women." "He seems like a nice enough fellow." "Why do we chase him like a nag to the glue pot?" "No matter!" "I like it, whatever it is!" "Here!" "Here!" "There?" "There!" "What would you have us do now, Devil?" "Shut your buggering mouth." " Dig!" " You must be thirsty." "Ha?" "Cutler tells me that you declined his hospitality, but you will do me the honour, sir." "You may break me, sir, but I will not break my oath!" "Ah!" "Open up and let the Devil in!" "Open up and let the Devil in, my boy!" " Open up and let the Devil in!" "Well, I have no recollection of consuming anything of the remotest son." "A man can hold a great deal inside that he does not comprehend." "I am not familiar with these symbols, though." "Nor I." "I feel..." "Suddenly empty." "Then maybe you should keep your mouth shut unless something else should rush in while you're not paying attention, because you are apparently nothing more than an envelope." " I need to consult my documents." " The master's, you mean!" " Of course, you need to be punished." " I have located your treasure, sir." "Release me!" "Please, I beg." "Do not be ridiculous, Whitehead." "All you've given me is a place to make a hole." "Nothing more." "So, maybe you should fashion it one of your pretty lace doilies while we try and find out what's at the bottom of it." "Hmm." " What?" " Nothing, Mary." "I think I have worked out what God is punishing us for." "Everything" "O'Neil!" "This man is sick!" "He has bewitched me." "Attend him." "But have that hole dug all the faster." "Once I get my wind back, I'm gonna smash every one of you bastards' teeth." "Up" "Help!" "Say, "Ah"." "Ahhh." "Cough." "Am I bewitched?" "No." "Sir, you merely suffer a disease in the private parts, occasioned by too much venereal sport." "'Tis all?" "Well, I also deduce gout, bloody flux, apostem of the mouth, the pissing disease, St Anthony's fire, iliac passion, haemorrhoids and palsy brought on by drink." "Then, I'm not going to turn into a frog?" "'Tis the one complaint you do not suffer, uh, besides plague." "Back to work!" "All I can do is administer a poultice to your yard, to soothe." "Thank you." "Baloo, my boy lie still and sleep..." "Thank you." "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "I am my own man!" "I am my own man." " Please, God." " I am my own man!" "Save and deliver us, from the hands of your enemies, abate their pride, assuage their malice, confound their devices, that we, being armed with thy defence, shall be preserved from all perils, to glorify thee, giver of all victory" "through the merit of thy son, Jesus Christ, our Lord." "Amen." "I am my own man!" "I am my own man." "I am my own man!" "I am my own man!" "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "I am my own man." "Well, this is a fine hole we've dug here." " I do bless they give us that." " You dumb bastard!" "Girding your loins?" "You are a slave!" " You..." " And I'll be a better slave than you!" "If you do not cease, we may be blasted by an ill planet." " This is what a yard looks like, friend!" " Argh!" "Friend?" "Friend?" "Friend?" "There, see?" "The word sounds good on your lips." "That other fella uses it like a poking stick, does he not?" "What have you done, Cutler?" "Can you do something?" "I never had so many friends as I do in this field." "Remember my song." "Ugh." "When you get to the alehouse, see a way to get a message to my wife." "Anything, friend." "Anything." "Tell her..." "Tell her I hate her." "Tell her I did bum her fathers barn." "'Twas payment for forcing our marriage." "Tell her I loved her sister." "Who I had." "Many times." "From behind." "Like a beautiful...prize...sow." "If I'd have known that, I would have paid you more respect, brother." "And..." "Yes?" " Hey?" "Yeah?" " And lo 'twas good." "I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord." "He has dug his grave, but he'll not lay there until that treasure's out." "Deposit the corpse elsewhere for now." "He shall have a Christian burial." "No one will molest his bones." "He did it to himself." "Down is the only way out for you, Cutler." "Sooner I get back to fucking London, the fucking better." "A new fucking coat." "Fucking doors that fucking shut!" "And citizens that pay small fucking reckoning to astrology!" "I would rather die of the fucking plague in the fucking fleet than spend another fucking minute in the countryside!" "I'll deliver that message, friend, if it's the last thing I do." "Baloo, my boy, lie still and sleep" "It grieves me sore to hear thee weep" "If thou'lt be silent I'll be glad" "Thy moaning makes my heart full sad" "Baloo, my boy, thy mother's joy" "Thy father bred me great annoy" "Baloo, baloo Baloo, baloo" "Baloo, baloo" "Lu-li-li-lu" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Christ in heaven, Cutler!" "Where are they all?" "We have it, sir!" "We have the treasure!" "Can we go to that alehouse first, sir?" "There was no alehouse!" "It was just a figment of your imagination." "It was just to entice that dimwit drunk and that grinning idiot." "Was it, sir?" "I can have him divining treasure for me all over this land." "I must capture him before he starts thinking for himself." "Well, dig, Cutler!" "Dig!" "Come to your master, Whitehead!" "Whitehead, show yourself!" "I am my own master." "Whitehead!" "Whitehead!" "You shall have as many books or lace bobbins as you like!" "Show yourself, Whitehead, you fucking coward!" "You cannot escape the field, Whitehead!" "Then I shall become it!" "I shall consume all the ill fortune which you are set to unleash!" "I shall chew up all the selfish scheming and ill intentions that men like you force upon men like me and bury it in the stomach of this place!" "We are brothers now!" "Open up, you stubborn bastard." "Two halves of the same man!" "This country is at the edge of something, Whitehead!" "Fuck this." "Sever your conscience from your art and you will profit!" "Get down, you fool." "I have come back to rescue you, you great dunderhead." "No, friend, it is I who will rescue you." "Look." "An angel, mounting guard over the field's treasure." "Hey." "Whitehead?" "Whitehead?" "Come, friend." "I will protect you from yourself as best I can." "And, after that, I shall pray for more legs and arms, to greater appreciate the many natural intrigues and wonders that play out below us." "Arses." "Maybe I shall pen a book on the subject." "We've less than no chance now they're together." "What say you to this for a title?" "A Field In England, or The Myriad Particulars of the Common Weevil." "Catchy." "There is no gold, sir." "Whitehead's a lying bastard, just like his man Trower said." "Just like I thought." "Nothing in that hole but dirt and old bones." "You put your money on the wrong man." "He is more of a charlatan and a fraud than you." "That is, I mean to say, uh..." "I..." "I mean to say that you..." "Open up and let the Devil in." "Open up and let the Devil in." "He's the king of cold-hearted bastards, I'll give him that." "Could do with more like him in the ranks." "Whitehead?" "You all right, brother?" "Come." "Not much left." "Here!" "I have no knowledge of weapons." "It comes alive, does it not, in your hand?" "That's a fine-looking load you got rammed down there, and no mistake." " Almighty God!" " Friend!" "They are over here, Devil!" " Perhaps Almighty God has charged me as your personal physician." "I will attend you presently, if this maniac will hold his tongue!" "Attend that!" "Do not utter a word, or..." "He'll turn you into a weevil." "I will say but one thing." "I have missed you both." "You will die unless I apply pressure presently." "Perhaps 'tis this bastard's turn to learn a lesson from me." "He has risen more times than fucking Lazarus!" "Watch carefully as I die, and take note how I do it!" "I should deliver that message to your wife on the end of my cock!" "You chose to associate with a low sort, Whitehead!" "He's injured." "He lies some 70-odd yards or so yonder." " Is that to say we are still friends?" " No!" "We're not!" "You may still catch your quarry single-handed." "There, now you're a soldier." "I am no soldier." "Will he find you running away?" "He will not, sir." "Not this time." "You think there was..." "You think there was treasure in this field?" "The treasure is here between us, is it not, friend?" "Huh!" "A pretty sentiment." "But you will no doubt starve on your own." "I would like to have shared that ale with him." "So, he is your better friend now." "You two are as peas in a pod, and I am but to pick up the scraps of your affection." "Do not speak." "The message was clear." "Well, I shall prove my worth as a better friend to you yet." "See if I don't." "Oh." "Shit and thistles." "O'er thee I keep my lonely watch, intent to catch it." "Damn it." "Intent thy lightest breath to catch..." "Damn." "What is the rest of that song?" "The coward is here." "Baloo, my boy, lie still and sleep" "It grieves me sore to hear thee weep" "If thou'lt be silent I'll be glad" "Thy moaning makes my heart full sad" "Baloo, my boy, thy mother's joy" "Thy father bred me great annoy" "Baloo, baloo" "Baloo, baloo Baloo, baloo" "Lu-li-li-lu" "O'er thee I keep my lonely watch" "Intent my lightest breath to catch" "O, when thou wak'st to see thee smile" "And thus my sorrow to beguile" "Baloo, my boy, thy mother's joy" "Thy father bred me great annoy" "Baloo, my boy, lie still and sleep" "It grieves me sore to hear thee weep" "Twelve weary months have crept away" "Since he upon thy natal day left thee and me" "To seek afar a bloody fate in doubtful war" "Baloo, my boy, lie still and sleep" "It grieves me sore to hear thee weep" "If thou'lt be silent, I'll be glad" "Thy moaning makes my heart full sad" "I dreamed a dream but yesternight" "Thy father slain in foreign fight" "He, wounded, stood beside my bed" "His blood ran down upon thy head" "He spoke no word but looked on me" "Bent low and gave a kiss to thee" "Baloo, baloo, my darling boy" "Thou 'rt now alone thy mother's joy"

"IMMUNITY IDOL HIDDEN AT MOTO." "THISISMY MILLIONDOLLARS!" "Jeff:" "ANDHE IMMEDIATELY" "INFORMED EARLY." "we got it" "IWOULDHAVENEVERTHOUGHT" "THAT A BIG, STRONG BLACK MAN" "WOULD BECOME ONE OF MY BEST ALLIES." "Jeff:" "ATRAVU,MOOKIE,ALEX ," "AND EDGARDO FOUND THE IDOL" "HIDDEN AT THEIR CAMP." "we're not telling lisi for sure" "THEY MADE A PACT NOT TO TELL" "LISIO DREAMZ." "DREAMZISNOTSOGOOD ABOUT" "KEEPING HIS TRAP SHUT, SO WE'RE" "DOING IT FOR HIS PROTECTION AND" "OUR OWN." "Jeff:" "LISIHADNOIDEA THAT" "THE IDOL HAD BEEN FOUND." "ALITTLEIDOLDIGGING?" "I'MLIKE,DUDE,YOU 'REGOING" "TO HAVE TO WAKE UP REALLY," "REALLY EARLY TO FOOL AN OLD CAT" "LIKE ME." "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" "Jeff:" "ATTHEREWARDCHALLENGE" "THE SURVIVORS SQUARED OFF IN A" "DANCE COMPETITION," "AND EARL LED MOTO TO VICTORY." "MOTO." "( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )" "ALLRIGHT,THEN." "Jeff:" "LISIWASBANISHEDTO" "ZEILE ISLAND," "WHERE SHE BROKE DOWN." "IREALLYDON'TWANTTOBE" "HERE, BUT WHAT AM I SHOWS SOMED" "TO DO, MAN?" "I FEEL LIKE QUITTING." "Jeff:" "ATTHEIMMUNITYCHALLENGE..." "YAU-MAN DOMINATED FOR MOTO." "MOTO WINS IMMUNITY!" "THAT'SMYMUSCLE!" "Jeff:" "WITHANOTHERTRIBAL" "COUNCIL LOOMING, IT LOOKED LIKE" "RAVU'S DECISION WAS CLEAR." "IDON'TSEEYOU GUYSWINNING" "THE NEXT REWARD CHALLENGE AND" "THAT MEANS I GET TO GO TO EXILE" "ISLAND AGAIN." "Jeff:" "ANDLISITHREWINTHETOWEL." "I'MDONELIKEATHANKSGIVING" "DAY TURKEY, MAN." "THEFACTTHATLISIWANTEDTO" "QUIT PISSED ME OFF BECAUSE I" "COULD PROBABLY USE HER IN THE FUTURE." "Jeff:" "BUTLISIHAD SECOND THOUGHTS." "WHATWOULDHAPPEN IF WE KEPT ON GOING." "?" "the game is about to get a lot nastier" "Jeff:" "ATTRIBALCOUNCIL..." "ITHINKLISIWANTSTOGO HOME." "Jeff:" "DREAMZCALLEDLISIOUT." "DOYOUWANTTOBEHERE?" "OKAY" "IT'SA YESOR NO QUESTION,LIS." "IHAVETO THINKFOR AMINUTE" "I HAVE TO CHILL." "JERVGI 'MREADYTO VOTE." "Jeff:" "INTHEEND ,LISI'S" "INDECISIVENESS GOT HER" "UNANIMOUSLY VOTED OFF." "LISI, THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN." "TEN ARE LEFT, WHO WILL BE VOTED OUT TONIGHT." "?" "HEY,PUTIT HERE,MAN ." "it's all good. i've been holding it the whole time" "AREYOUSURE?" "ARE YOU GOING TO USE IT AGAINST ME?" "IIDOLIHAVEINMY POCKET IS ACTUALLY FOR..." "YOU KNOW, I'M SELFISH." "I'LL ADMIT IT IN THIS GAME." "IT'S FOR MYSELF, TO GET MYSELF" "FURTHER ALONG IN THIS GAME." "NOW, IF THAT PLAYS INTO MY" "ALLIANCE WITH THESE GUYS," "TO USE THESE GUYS TO GET FURTHER," "THEN I'LL, YOU KNOW, I'M ALL FOR IT." "WE'REPLACING OUR FAITH IN YOU, MAN." "just know my word i woud never do that to you guys ever" "OKAY,FAIRENOUGH." "where's dreamz" "DREAMZ,HEY,MAN." "EDGARDO,MOOKIE,ANDMYSELF" "HAVE NOT TOLD DREAMZ ABOUT THE IMMUNITY IDOL." "NOT BECAUSE WE WANT TO KEEP IT" "FROM HIM SO THAT WE CAN USE IT" "AGAINST HIM, BUT REALLY IT'S" "JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T THINK" "DREAMZ IS GOOD ABOUT KEEPING" "INFORMATION TO HIMSELF." "top ten, that's not bad" "NOTBADAT ALL." "let's make it top nine gotta make it to the top four" "IKNOW,BUTONE ATA TIME , YOU KNOW." "TREEMAIL!" "why are you shaking youre head?" "IT'SNOTAGOODTREE MAIL ." "UH-OHOH." "GATHGATHERYOURPERSONAL" "BELONGINGS ONLY," "USE THE MAP TO PADDLE" "?" "TO EXILE ISLAND IMMEDIATELY." "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BRING" "TOOLS OR FLINT." "BRING ONLY YOUR PERSONAL ITEMS" "INCLUDING YOUR CANTEEN." "WENEEDTO BOILUPTHEREST" "OF THE RICE." "BOILITUP ." "AREWELIVINGONEXILEISLAND" "FOR THE REST OF THE TIME." "WE GOT TREE MAIL," "AND WE'RE LIKE" "OH, MAN, WE'RE LEAVING OUR CAMP." "THIS SUCTION." "can't bring any rewards?" "NOPE." "THEFACTTHATI'VEBEEN" "THROUGH, YOU KNOW," "THE OLD RAVU SITUATION," "I KNOW I CAN SLEEP IN" "THE DIRT AND NOT EAT A LOT OF" "FOOD FOR A WHILE." "ME AND AL ACTUALLY EXCHANGED" "PLACES, AND WE WERE LIKE," "THIS IS GREAT." "WE CAN TOTALLY DO THIS." "CASSANDRA, STACY, AND BOO HAVE" "BEEN LIVING THE WHOLE TIME ON" "HONEYMOON FIJI HERE," "AND WE'RE THE WHOLE TIME LIKE," ""OH, MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE."" "LET'SSEEWHATWE'VEGOT." "it's a mail" "IT'SA MAP." "OH!" "GATHERYOURPERSONAL BELONGINGS ONLY." "AND USE THIS MAP TO PADDLE YOUR" "TRIBE BOAT TO EXILE ISLAND IMMEDIATELY." "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BRING" "REWARDS, TOOLS, OR FLINTS." "BRING ONLY YOUR PERSONAL ITEMS," "INCLUDING YOUR CANTEENS." "SOUNDSLIKEWE 'RE" "?" "WEALLGO EXILEISLAND." "THAT'S WHERE WE STAY NOW." "WE ALL MERGE TO EXILE ISLAND." "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?" "ALLRIGHT,GUYS,SO, ALL RIGHT." "LET'S DO IT, MAN." "IDON'TKNOWWHAT TO EXPECT RIGHT NOW." "THE GAME TAKES SO MANY TWISTS," "I'M HOPING FOR A MERGE," "BUT IF IT'S NOT," "IT'S PART OF THE GAME." "WENEEDTO BE CLEARON" "WHO WE'RE TARGETING." "WE'RE TARGETING CASSANDRA." "I'MGETTINGCASSANDRA." "YOU'REMICHELLE?" "and you stacy" "SOTHEMASTERPLANIS" "BASICALLY IF WE MERGE, DREAMZ" "TRIES TO PULL CASSANDRA OVER," "GIVING US 5-5, MOOKIE TRIES TO" "PULL MICHELLE OR YAU-MAN." "AND I THINK I CAN PULL STACY." "REMEMBER THIS TIME." "REMEMBER HOW WE FELT WHEN WE" "WERE HERE AND NOBODY TURNS BACK," "YOU UNDERSTAND?" "EACHOFUS HASPROVENOR" "LOYALTY TO EACH OTHER BY" "ESSENTIALLY GIVING UP SOMEBODY" "WE WERE ALIGNED WITH FOR THE" "SAKE OF THE FOUR, THE FOUR HORSEMEN." "WE GAVE UP ROCK." "YOU GAVE UP LISI." "RIGHT NOW WE HAVE TO GET NASTY" "AND WE HAVE TO USE EVERYTHING WE HAVE." "Capture:" "FRM@FADEOUT Sync:" "FRM@CD" "EVERYBODY'SA BITNERVOUS." "WE DON'T KNOW IF A MERGE IS" "COMING UP OR HOW IT'S GOING TO WORK." "PEOPLE PRETTY MUCH WRACKED THEIR" "BRAINS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT" "IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT, AND I" "THINK EVERYBODY IS DEPENDING ON" "THE MERGE BECAUSE they are nervous" "IT'S COMING." "they right there so you get the ?" "?" "I KNOW I'M GOING TO BE SAFE" "ONCE I GET MY BOYS BACK." "HEY, THERE MIGHT NOT BE A MERGE." "YOU JUST NEVER KNOW." "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!" "IBINSTEAD OF THINKING SO FAR" "AHEAD ABOUT THE MERGE AND" "DEPENDING ON THAT," "WE HAVE TO THINK RIGHT NOW" "WHO IS WATCHING" "AND WHITE WANT TO VOTE YOU OFF TOMORROW." "the survived!" "the survived!" "WHENWEGOTTOEXILEISLAND" "AND WE MET UP WITH EACH OTHER," "WE GREETED EACH OTHER." "HI,BABY!" "ANDSOMEOF US THOUGHT" "A MERGE IS HAPPENING." "OTHERS THOUGHT THERE'S A BIG" "PARTY WAITING FOR US SOMEWHERE." "WE STILL HAVE OUR OWN COLORS AND" "OUR FLAGS WITH US," "SO WE HAVE NO IDEA" "WHAT'S GOING ON." "WHEREAREWE GOINGHERE?" "LET'SCHECKIT OUT." "HEREWEGO AGAIN." "WHENWEGOTTOEXILEISLAND," "THERE WAS NO INSTRUCTION." "JEFF WASN'T AROUND." "I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST KIND OF" "GOING TO LIVE ON EXILE ISLAND." "WE ASSUMED MAYBE ALL 10 OF US" "WERE GOING TO LIVE THERE AND IT" "WAS GUG GOING TO SURK BUT HEY," "AT LEAST WE CAME FROM RAVU WHERE" "IT KIND OF SUCKED ANYWAY, SO WHATEVER." "i hope they got some steak up there" "WEDECIDEDTO DO TO THETOP" "OF THE TOWER AND SEE" "IF THERE WAS TREE MAIL." "THE ENTIRE TRIBE MADE IT UP TOGETHER." "WE GOT INTO OUR OWN LITTLE TREE" "HOUSE EXPECTING THIS IS WHERE" "WE'RE GOING TO BE FOR A WHILE." "so there's no food on the island right?" "no" "?" "you can fish and crab" "WHENTHEHELL,THEN?" "ISTHISTHECANNIBALISMPART ." "ALLRIGHT!" "NEWCOLORS!" "NEW BUFZ." "FINALLYI GETRIDOFTHEORANGE." "NOORANGE." "EN GOT THEIR BUFFS." "CONGRATULATIONS,YOUHAVE" "MADE IT FAR AND NOW MERGED INTO ONE TRIBE." "DROP YOUR OLD BUFFS AND WEAR" "THESE NEW ONES WITH PRIDE" "AS YOU PADDLE IN." "ONE BOAT TO YOUR HOME," "THE OLD MOTO CAMP." "( CHEERS )" "MOTO!" "FORONCE,IGET TOSEEMOTO" "AND EXPERIENCE THAT ISLAND" "BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY PERSON" "THAT HAS NOT BEEN THERE YET." "SO WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE BACK THERE." "you guys got lucky. you never expericenced any of the hardships" "I'MSOELATEDTOGO BACK BACK TO MOTO." "I WAS THINKING, OH, LORD," "HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE IT" "ON EXILE ISLAND." "WE'RE GOING TO BE WITH SNAKE" "SNAKES, AND NO BED, NO COUCH." "LORD, PLEASE, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?" "OH, MY GOD, I AM SO ELATED." "WHOOOO!" "( APPLAUSE )" "THANKGOD,AFTERSEVENDAY" "OF HELL, AT RAVU, I GOT TO EAT" "RICE, POTATOES, A TOOTHBRUSH," "TOOTHPASTE AIR, SHOWER," "AND I SMELL LIKE CRAP, I KNOW." "I'M PROBABLY GET A TURN AT THE" "BED TONIGHT, FINALLY, FINALLY," "THINGS ARE LOOKING UP." "LET'SSEEIF WE HAVESURPRISES." "LET'SSEEIF WE HAVEAFLAG ," "A NEW NAME." "OH,MYGOD!" "OH, MY GOD!" "ICAN'TEVENGET ABED?" "!" "THEYTOOKEVERYTHING." "IDIDN'TGETANYTHING." "FISHINGGEAR." "OH,WHATTHEHELL?" "!" "OH,MYGOD!" "OH,NO!" "THIS IS, LIKE, A BAD DREAM." "THISIS,LIKE, THIS IS SO MESSED PUP." "OH, MY GOD!" "BASTARDS!" "OH,MYGOD!" "THISISSO NOTCOOL." "THISISREALSURVIVOR." "WEHAVEACAVE." "WEHAVEAPOT AND AMACHETE." "WEHAVEAPOT AND A MACHETE AND A CAVE." "THAT'SALLWE NEED." "WHENWEGOTONMOTO BEACH," "TURNED THE CORNER," "AND LO AND BEHOLD, NOTHING," "I MEAN NOTHING." "WE GOT A LITTLE BIT OF FISHING GEAR," "A COUPLE OF POTS," "A MACHETE, A FLINT, AND THAT'S IT." "INEVERSEENMOTO." "YOUNEVERDIDGET TO SEE MOTO DID YOU?" "INEVERGOTTHE BED ," "I NEVER GOT A TOOTHBRUSH," "I NEVER GOT ANYTHING." "start frome scratch,baby this is back where we was day one day one, square one this is like when we first got here there was nothing here" "EVERYTHINGWASGONE." "NO BED,?" "no BATHROOM, NO NOTHING." "I FELT OKAY WITH THAT." "I KIND OF LAUGHED." "HAD EYE LITTLE SMIRK ON MY FACE" "BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY BEEN TRAINED." "YOU KNOW, BEING AT THE OLD RAVU" "FOR 13 DAYS, HEY," "I'M JUST BACK HOME AGAIN." "EVERYBODYHAS THE SAME WAY NOW." "EVERYBODYGATHER AROUND FOR THE MEAL." "ALL RIGHT." ""NOW IT IS TIME TO REVEAL" "YOUR WORLD FROM SCRATCH." "GIVE YOURSELF A NEW NAME," "NAME YOUR NEW FLAG," "AND START THE GAME ANEW."" "THAT'SIT?" "THAT'SIT." "LET'SDOIT ." "ALLRIGHT." "OKAY,WHAT'STHENAME,GUYS ?" "SOMETHINGTHATHASTODO" "WITH THE ISLANDS. ?" "VENACCA." "ISN'TTHATTHANKYOU ." "ANDBOULAIS HELLO." "LET'SDOBOULA." "BOULA-BOULA." "EITHERTHATOR THE" "NOOKY-NOOKY TRIBE." "BOULA-NOOKY." "?" "WEDECIDEDON BOULA-MOULAAS" "THE TRIBE NAME BECAUSE BOULA IS" "HOW YOU SAY HELLO IN FIJI?" "do you have any thoughts, initially, on it?" "ONTHEFLAGITSELFORON WHAT" "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" "THEFLAG." "NO,I 'MNOTEVEN THINKING ABOUT THAT." "IWANTTO GETA LOOK AT OUR CANVAS." "WE CAN NEVER BE SO SURE IN THIS GAME, YOU KNOW." "IKNOW." "WEWANTTO BE IN ASAFESPOT ." "I THINK WE ARE NOW, DON'T YOU?" "YEAH,YEAH." "I'M A LITTLE WORRIED BECAUSE YOU" "GUYS ARE ALL STILL SUPER CLOSE." "YEAH,BUTTHETHINGSMICHELLE" "I DON'T THINK WE'RE A THREAT" "BECAUSE WE'RE GIRLS," "AND THOSE GRIZ GOING TO GET SUPER COMPETITIVE." "IT'SINTERESTING,ITHINK" "BOYS ARE GOING TO START" "ATTACKING BOYS AND GETTING THEM" "OFF GAME BEFORE THEY'RE GOING TO" "TOUCH THE GIRLS BECAUSE THEY" "LOOK AT US AS NONTHREATS" "SO WE'LL BE, LIKE," "THE LAST TO GO." "THAT'S HOW IT'S LINED UP FOR NOW." "WE'RE IN A PRETTY GOOD SPOT." "NOWI 'MTHINKINGLIKETHE" "OTHER ISLAND IS BETTER." "ASFARAS FISHING,YEAH." "WECOULDGETMOREFOOD ." "THECRABS." "WE'RE A NEW TRIBE NOW." "THERE'S A CORE GROUP." "THERE'S A TRIBE WITHIN THE RYAN" "TRIBEPROSPECT AND THE TRIBE" "WITHIN THE TRIBE IS MYSELF," "MICHELLE, CASSANDRA, YAU." "NOW IT'S JUST DIVIDE AND CONKOR." "WE HAVE TO DIVIDE UP THE OLD" "MOTO AND GET THEM ONE BY ONE AND" "KNOCK THEM OUT." "WHATDOYOUALL WANTTODO ?" "LET'SDIVIDEEVERYTHINGUP" "AND GET GOING." "SO THE MOMENT HAS FINAL ARRIVED." "THESE FIRST COUPLE OF HOURS ARE" "REALLY CRUCIAL." "THEY'RE GOING TO DETERMINE" "WHO'S THE FINAL FIVE." "I'M READY TO FIGHT." "ALLRIGHT,WE 'RE GOING TO GO FISHING." "US FOUR, THEN." "THEREARETWOSLINGS." "TWO PEOPLE CAN BE CRABBING WHILE" "ANOTHER COUPLE OF PEOPLE CAN SIT" "ON THE BOAT AND TRY TO FISH." "IHADMY NICHEINTHEFIRST" "MOTO TRIBE." "I HAD MY NICHE IN THE SECOND" "MOAT POE TRIBE" "AND I WAS VERY COMFORTABLE." "AT THIS POINT, I'M NOT" "COMFORTABLE AT ALL," "SO I'M GOING TO TAKE A BACK SEAT," "AND THAT'S ALL I CAN DO" "IS BE A GOOD LITTLE HELPER," "AND THEN WHEN IT'S TIME," "I'LL ASSUME LEADERSHIP ROLE AGAIN." "HOWWASCAMPOVERHERE ?" "ITWASGOOD." "IT WAS NICE." "WE HAD A GOOD LITTLE THING GOING." "MEANDDREAMZHOOKUPRAVUSO" "WE GOT GOOD." "IWASHOPINGTHAT." "ANDI SAIDME ANDYAU ," "?" "I TRUST YAU." "ANDEARLANDMICHELLE." "AMI STILLONEOFWHYYOU" "WERE TRUSTED ONES, YAU?" "i'm glad you didn't go to the dark side i was afraid you went over to the dark side" "WEWEREALLAFRAID." "FORA SECONDWE GOTONTO" "THIS ISLAND," "FOUR HORSEMEN AS WE DISCUSSED," "WE WERE GOING TO" "SPLIT UP AND MIND OUT WHAT WAS" "HAPPENING AT MOTO." "SO WE WENT STRAIGHT TO WORK," "INFILTRATED THAT GROUP AND" "GAINED THEIR TRUST." "what's going on boo" "ARE YOU GUYS GOOD WITH BOO?" "DO YOU LIKE HIM?" "OH,NO." "BOOGOESFIRST." "WECOULDN'TDECIDEWHETHER" "BOO OR STACY." "STACY BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT THE" "ALEX CONNECTION," "BUT NOW THAT WE MERGEDLY-- all right let's take out boo." "and then take out stacy" "BOOSTIRSUP TOOMUCH." "YOU GOTTA GET HIM OUT BEFORE HE STARTS," "LIKE...." "RIGHTAWAYWE FOUND THEY WANT" "BOO OUT," "AND THEN WE TAKE OUT STACY." "RIGHT NOW OUR PLAN ITS WORKING" "OUT PERFECTLY AS FAR AS WHAT WE KNOW." "WE JUST HAVE TO EXECUTE IT RIGHT." "TOWBOOFIRST?" "BOOFIRST." "ANDTHENSTACYORALEX ." "thank god i've still got ravu people left here" "CURRENTLYI 'MTHEONLYONE" "WITH THE IDOL, AND EARL IS THE" "ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS I HAVE THE IDOL." "POTENTIALLY, THERE SHOULD BE TWO" "IMMUNITY IDOL IN PLAY IN THE GAME RIGHT NOW." "THE QUESTION IS WHO HAS THE OTHER ONE?" "THE NEXT OPPORTUNITY WE HAVE WE" "WOULD LIKE TO VOTE OUT BOO, AND" "I THINK WE HAVE PRETTY MUCH" "SECURE MOOKIE'S AND DREAMZ'S" "VOTES, BUT WE DON'T TRUST NOBODY HERE." "OH,IT'SSO CUTE!" "THEREYOUGO !" "we need to get boo out of here" "YEAH,HEGOESFIRST." "FOR SURE." "IREALLYHAVEALOTOFTRUST" "IN ALEX BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH" "ORIGINAL MOTO, AND THAT'S JUST," "YOU KNOW, THE CHANCE THAT I'M" "TAKING, BUT HE'S THE MOST" "TRUSTWORTHY PERSON I CAN THINK" "OF RIGHT NOW." "IMEAN,ITHINKWESHOULDDO" "WHAT'S MOST CONVENIENT FOR US." "ME, YOU, AND ED ARE GOING TO BE" "TIGHTER TOGETHER THAN WHOEVER IT IS....?" "ANDTHENWE ALSOARE MORE" "SOLID, TOO, ON A VOTE." "YEAH,WE'REMORESOLID." "ICANUSETHE RELATIONSHIPS" "I'VE HAD TO SORT CREATE SMOKE" "AND HIR MIR ONS " " MIR TORZ KEEP" "THEM GUESSING SO THE FOUR" "HORSEMEN CAN TAKE IT ALL THE WAY." "UNLESS I'M MISTAKEN," "THE FOUR OF US ARE CONTROLLING THIS GAME" "RIGHT NOW." "I COULD BE WRONG, AND I COULD BE" "GETTING SET UP." "BUT THIS IS MY BEST BET." "WHAT CAN I DO?" "I KNOW YOU'RE SMART." "I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU." "I JUST WANT TO YOU HAVE ALL THE" "INFORMATION I HAVE." "IAPPRECIATEIT ." "INTERESTING." "so this is what's going down,right?" "WEWANTBOOOFF ." "everybody wants boo off" "SO BOO IS GOING TO GO OFF FIRST." "ANDTHENWE 'REGOINGTOGET" "STACY OFF SECOND." "then we're gonna get we were gonna get stacy off" "OKAY." "i didn't tell you but we found the immunity idol on ravu" "ALLOFASUDDEN,MOOKIELET" "DREAMZES KNOW THAT WE HAD THE IDOL," "AND AS SOON AS THAT HAPPENED," "MY GUT WAS LIKE, OH," "THAT WAS NOT SO SMART." "YOU CAN'T SAY A WORD." "YOUCAN'TSAYAWORD" "DOYOULOOKLIKE" "SHUTUP." "you get really honest you can't even tell cassandra" "WHEN ALEX AND MOOKIE TOLD ME" "THEY HAD THE IMMUNITY IDOL I WAS" "KIND OF MAD BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T" "TELL ME WHEN THEY FIRST FOUND IT." "when did y'all find it?" "JUSTA FEWDAYSAGO ." "WHYDIDN'TY'ALLTELLME?" "ONLYBECAUSEOF CASSANDRA," "JUST TO MAKE SURE." "WE WERE GOING TO TELL YOU." "WEHADAPACT,ANDTHEYT KIND" "OF MADE ME NOT TRUST THEM A" "LITTLE BIT AND MADE ME FEEL I" "WAS ON THE OUTSKIRTS, SO" "POINTBLANK I'M GOING TO TRUST" "THEM UNTIL I CAN'T TRUST THEM NO MORE." "you get very honest" "NO, I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING." "I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME NOW BECAUSE" "I WAS GETTING KIND OF SCARED NOW" "EVERYTHING IS PERFECT." "LET'S DO WHAT Y'ALL THOUGHT." "DON'T SCREW UP." "DREAMZKNOWSABOUTTHE" "IMMUNITY IDOL, BY THE WAY." "WHOTOLDHIM?" "MOOKIEWANTEDTO TELLHIM ." "YOUTOLDDREAMZABOUTTHE" "IDOL, MAN?" "IHADTO ." "WHY?" "I'MGOINGTO TELLYOU RIGHT" "NOW, I DON'T LIKE THAT PLAN." "NOT THAT I DON'T TRUST HIM, BUT" "TRUSTING ALL THESE PEOPLE" "EITHERWAY, WE'RE TAKING OUT BOO FIRST." "?" "I'MPISSEDOFFABOUTTHE" "WHOLE SITUATION RIGHT NOW." "THE IMMUNITY IDOL" "IS SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KEEP" "BETWEEN THREE OR TWO PEOPLE" "TO MAKE IT WORK." "THAT'S THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT" "NEEDED TO BE TOLD," "AND MOOKIE JUST TOLD DREAMZ" "OUT OF NOWHERE." "AND NOW I FEEL REALLY" "UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE DREAMZ" "KNOWS WE HAVE THE IDOL," "CASSANDRA KNOWS ABOUT THE IDOL," "EARL KNOWS ABOUT THE IDOL." "DO YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYING?" "MAYBE " " I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW" "HOW " " WE SHOULD MAYBE JUST TAKE" "BOO OUT FIRST, AND AT THAT POINT" "STACY HAS NOWHERE TO GO." "I TRUST STACY, SHE'S NOT GONNA" "" " SHE'S NOT GON ASHE'S NOT" "GONNA DO ANYTHING." "WE CAN PULL HER IN." "THAT'S FIVE." "THAT'S A 5-4 MAJORITY." "THAT'S THE SIMPLEST WAY." "STACY WILL BE LOYAL," "AND WE DON'T REALLY HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT" "HER WINNING THE FINAL IMMUNITY," "I DON'T THINK." "AND WE CAN PUT WHAT EVER ORDER YOU WANT." "I DON'T CARE." "so what do you guys think?" "IMEAN,THAT'SFINE," "WE CAN just" "JUST PULL STACY, VOTE OFF BOO,AND THEN..." "THAT'S FINE." "THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS TO" "ACTUALLY TAKE OUT BOO AND THEN STACY." "THINGS CHANGED." "ALEX AND EDGARDO WANT TO BRING IN STACY." "BRINGING ON STACY IS ONLY IN" "THEIR BEST INTEREST BECAUSE THEY" "STILL HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP TW" "THE OLD MOTO." "SO WHEN IT GETS DOWN TO FIVE AS" "WE PLANNED, STALSY IS ON THEIR" "SIDE AND ME AND DREAMZ," "WE'RE LEFT OUT OF THE LOOP." "IFDREAMZTELLSSOMEBODY," "I'M GOING TO KILLY, MOOKIE MAN,SERIOUSLY." "NOONEKNOWSWHO HAS WHO ," "AND THAT'S GREAT." "YOU'RE STILL THE MOST POPULAR" "GIRL HERE RIGHT NOW." "AND YOU MICHELLE, TOO, ACTUALLY." "UH-HUH." "MICHELLEISGETTING PRETTY POPULAR." "UH-HUH." "ANDASLONGASTHEY JUST " "THEY DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO" "DREAMZ STILL." "I STILL DON'T TRUST MOOKIE." "UH-HUH." "MY ALLIANCE IS WITH SOME OF THE" "PEOPLE FROM RAVU SIDE " " EARL," "YAU-MAN, AND THEN EARL HAS" "MICHELLE ON HIS SIDE," "AND THEN DEFINITELY DREAMZ." "I WAS REALLY HOPING THAT HE" "WOULD MAKE IT THROUGH TO THE MERGE." "WE'VE PRETTY MUCH GOT THE" "NUMBERS ON OUR SIDE." "HEY,JUSTKEEPTHEMTHINKING" "THAT THEY HAVE YOU." "KEEP THEM THINKING" "THAT I'M NOT THINKING." "UH-HUH..." "THAT'SEASY." "WE'LLJUSTSAILON." "I WAS ACTUALLY HAPPY ABOUT THE" "MERGE, BECAUSE NOW THE GAME IS REALLY ON." "IT'S TIME TO TAKE IT TO THE ADVANCE LEVEL." "wanna got anyone else?" "group swim?" "LET'SSEEWHAT'SGOINGON." "DOI BRINGMY SHOESORDOIRUN?" "WHAT?" "STILLBOO." "BOO,STACY," "THAT'S TWO OUT OF THE WAY." "WHATTHEY'RESAYINGNOW IS" "THEY WANT TO KEEP STACY ON BOARD" "AND USE HER THE WHOLE TIME" "TO HAVE MAJORITY." "THAT'SMEANDYOU OUT ." "IKNOW,THAT'SWHY IDON'T" "WANT TO TAKE STASE WEUS." "NOWAY,NO ,POINTBLANK,NO." "THEYJUSTWANTSTACYONTHEIR" "SIDE TO TAKE ONE OF US OFF." "TAKEONEOF US OFF." "WESAIDGUARANTEEDFIVE." "THAT WILL BRING TOO MUCH INTO ALEX'S HANDS." "ITRUSTNOBODYWITH" "STACY AROUND, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?" "?" "THAT'S WHY I SAID STACY SECOND." "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" "I WAS PLANNING THAT A LONG TIME AGO." "I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO" "VOTING OFF STACY BECAUSE SHE" "TREATED ME SO BAD WHEN I WAS" "WITH THE OLD MOTO." "SHE TREATED CASSANDRA ALL BAD," "AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE'S HAPPY" "AND NICE AND GLAD TO SEE ME ALL" "OF A SUDDEN BECAUSE I GOT" "FRIENDS AND SHE'S NOT GOT NO POWER NO MORE." "SHE'S GOT TO GO." "Jeff:" "COMEON IN ,GUYS!" "I'LL TAKE THAT FROM YOU, EARL." "GUYS READY TO GET TO TODAY'S CHALLENGE?" "YUP." "Jeff:" "DRAWASTOPE." "DO NOT LOOK AT IT IN YOUR HAND." "SEPARATE BAG FOR THE LADIES." "KEEP IT COVERED." "ONE LEFT FOR YOU, EARL." "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS OUT." "EVERYBODY REVEAL." "IF YOU HAVE ORANGE," "GO TO THE ORANGE MAT." "IF YOU HAVE GREEN," "GO TO THE GREEN MAT." "ANOTHERTWIST." "Jeff:" "EDGARDO,YOUKINDOF" "SHRUGGED YOUR SHOULDERS." "IDON'TKNOWWHAT TO EXPECT ANYMORE." "IT'S LIKE, WELL, YOU KNOW," "BRING IT ON." "LET'S DO IT." "LET'S DO THIS RIGHT NOW." "Jeff:" "BOO,WHATDOYOU" "THINK IS HAPPENING?" "ITHINKWE 'VESWITCHEDAGAIN." "Jeff:" "YOUHAVEMERGED." "YOU ARE ONE TRIBE BUT FOR" "TODAY'S CHALLENGE, YOU WILL BE" "COMPETING AGAINST EACH OTHER." "ARE YOU TWO TEAMS." "IN THIS CHALLENGE." "THE GREEN TEAM WILL BE ALEX," "MICHELLE, MOOKIE, STACY, AND DREAMZ." "THE OWNER TEAM IS EDGARDO," "CASSANDRA, BOO, YAU-MAN AND EARL." "ALL RIGHT, SHOULD I TELL YOU" "ABOUT THE CHALLENGE." "ON MY GO, YOU WILL BE SHOWN A" "LARGE FIJIAN MASK AND GIVEN TIME" "TO MEMORIZE THE SYMBOLS AND" "THEIR ARRANGEMENT ON THE MASK." "YOU WILL THEN PADDLE IN YOUR" "BOAT DOWN THE RIVER TO THREE" "DIFFERENT STATIONS." "EACH TIME YOU COME TO A STATION," "YOU MUST RETRIEVE A BUNDLE OF" "PUZZLE PIECES." "WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THREE BUNDLES," "YOU'LL PADDLE TO THE FINISH." "TWO TRIBE MEMBERS FROM EACH TEAM" "WILL THEN USE THOSE PIECES TO" "CONSTRUCT SIX OF THE SYMBOLS" "THAT YOU SAW ON THAT MASK." "YOU MUST THEN PLACE THE SYMBOLS" "IN THE CORRECT ORDER ON YOUR" "TEAM MASK." "FIRST TEAM TO GET IT RIGHT WINS." "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PLAYING FOR?" "YEAH." "Jeff:" "WINNINGTEAMWINSIMMUNITY." "THE FIVE PEOPLE ON THAT TEAM" "WILL NOT GO TO TRIBAL COUNCIL." "OF YOU WILL BE SAFE FROM ANOTHER VOTE," "AND GUARANTEED A ONE IN NINE SHOT" "AT A MILLION BUCKS." "IN ADDITION," "THE WINNING TEAM WILL FEAST." "STEAK, A SKILLET TO COOK IT IN," "SOME SEASONING, VEGETABLES," "A COUPLE OF BOTTLES OF WINE." "WORTH PLAYING FOR?" "OH,YEAH." "Jeff:" "FORTHELOSERS,NOTHING" "EXCEPT THIS NOTE, AND A DATE" "WITH ME AT TRIBAL COUNCIL." "ALL RIGHT." "WE'LL GET YOU GUYS IN YOUR BOATS" "AND WE'LL GET STARTED." "HERE WE GO." "REVEAL THE MASK." "THE SYMBOLS YOU WANT TO STUDY" "ARE THE SYMBOLS IN THE TURTLE" "SHELL AT THE TOP OF THE MASK." "WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, TAKE OFF." "THIS CHALLENGE HAS BEGUN." "READY?" "Jeff:" "GREENTEAMTHINKSTHEY" "HAVE IT." "THEY'RE HEADING OUT FIRST." "GO,GO." "YAU-MANSAYSTHEY'VEGOT IT" "FOR THE ORANGE." "BOTH TEAMS ARE PADDLING." "TURN, TURN, TURN." "TURN,TURN,TURN,TURNTOTHE" "RIGHT, GUYS." "TURNTOTHERIDERITE !" "Jeff:" "BOTHTEAMSAT THE FIRST STATION." "ANOTHERSTOP!" "Jeff:" "STACYTRYINGTOGETHER" "BUNDLE OF PIECES OFF." "THERE'S A LEARNING CURVE HERE," "HOW TO USE THIS TOOL." "YAU-MAN HAS A SYSTEM." "HE'S WORKING IT." "OKAY,GOAHEAD." "STACY HAVING TROUBLE." "THEY'RE GOING TO SWITCH OUT." "DREAMZ IS GOING TO GET UP THERE" "NOW AND GIVE IT A SHOT." "YAU-MAN WORKING QUICKLY." "THE ORANGE TEAM IS HEADING OUT." "THEY HAVE THEIR FIRST BUNDLE OF PIECES." "DREAMZ TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT." "QUICKLY, THE GREEN TEAM IS" "FALLING BEHIND." "YOUWANTTO TRYTALEX?" "GIVEITTO ME ." "Jeff:" "ALEXNOWTRYINGTOGIVE" "IT A SHOT FOR THE GREEN TEAM." "THE ORANGE TEAM AT THEIR SECOND" "STATION NOW." "THE GREEN TEAM STILL WORKING ON" "THEIR FIRST BUNDLE." "GO!" "Jeff:" "YAU-MANHAS THE SECOND BUNDLE." "THEY'RE HEADING TO THEIR NEXT STATION." "ALEX HAS THE FIRST BUNDLE FOR" "THE GREEN TEAM" "GREEN TEAM TRYING TO MAKE UP SOME TIME." "ORANGE TEAM WITH A DECENT LEAD" "AS THEY HEAD TO THEIR THIRD STATION." "OWNER TEAM NOW AT THEIR FINAL STATION." "YAU-MAN WORKING QUICKLY ON THE" "THIRD BUNDLE FOR THE ORANGE TEAM." "HE'S GOT IT AND THEY'RE HEADING" "TO THE FINISH." "ALEX HAS THE SECOND BUNDLE." "THEY'RE HEADING TO THEIR LAST" "STATION." "DIG,DIG,DIG,YOU GUYS!" "DIG HARD!" "CASSANDRA, CASSANDRA!" "DIG!" "ROW,ROW,ROW!" "Jeff:" "GREENTRYINGTOCATCHUP." "EARL, CASSANDRA, BOO, EDGARDO," "YAU-MAN, STILL WITH A BIG LEAD" "AS THEY HEAD TO THE FINISH." "GREEN TEAM NOW AT THE THIRD AND FINAL STATION." "THEY'RE WORKING ON THAT THIRD BAG." "ALEX HAS THE LAST BUNDLE." "GREEN TEAM IS HEADING TO THE FINISH." "KEEPROGUE,WE 'RENOTMOVING." "Jeff:" "THEORANGETEAM," "THEY'RE SLOWING DOWN." "COMEODREAMZ, BRING IT HOME, BABY!" "Jeff:" "DREAMZ,ALEX,MICHELLE," "STACY, MOOKIE, TRYING TO FINISH STRONG." "YOU'RE STILL IN IT!" "COME ON, GUYS, ROW!" "we got it go" "COME ON!" "ROY!" "Jeff:" "THEORANGETEAMHAS" "CLICKED IN." "TWPEOPLE WORKING ON THE PUZZLE." "COMEOGUYS!" "COME ON!" "THATONE." "HE'SGOTIT !" "ROW,ROW,ROW!" "HOWDOESTHISGO? "" "EARLYANDYAU-MANLOSING" "VALUABLE TIME NOW." "I'VEGOTALLTHE PIECES." "I'VE GOT ALL THE PIECES." "Jeff:" "TWOPEOPLEWORKINGON" "THE PUZZLE." "IT'S MICHELLE AND ALEX FOR THE" "GREEN TEAM." "THATONE." "INTHEMIDDLE,BYYAU." "BY YOUR SIDE!" "WEKNOW,WE KNOW,WEKNOW ." "Jeff:" "YOUHAVETOGETALLSIX" "PIECES TOGETHER." "THEN YOU PUT THEM IN THEIR SLOT" "ON THE MASK." "COMEOGUYS!" "RIGHTINFRONTOFYOU." "I'VEGOTTHISONE ,TOO ." "STARTPUTTINGTHEM,INGUYS ." "THAT'SIT!" "THAT'S IT!" "PUT IT IN!" "NO, NO, NO, YOU HAD IT!" "NOW, YAU, YOU JUST HAD IT." "Jeff:" "YAU-MANMAKESA" "LAST-MINUTE SWITCH, AND IT'S A" "GOOD THING HE DID." "ORANGE TEAM WINS IMMUNITY AND REWARD!" "( CHEERS )" "GOODTEAMWORK, GOOD TEAMWORK." "GOOD TEAMWORK." "Jeff:" "CONGRATULATIONS." "( APPLAUSE )" "NO TRIBAL COUNCIL TONIGHT." "IN ADDITION, YOU WILL FEAST," "STEAK, WINE, SOME VEGGIES." "MICHELLE, STACY, ALEX, MOOKIE," "DREAMZ, ALL I HAVE FOR YOU IS A" "DATE WITH ME AT TRIBAL COUNCIL" "AND THIS NOTE." "I'LL NOW READ THE NOTE." "YOU WILL NOT BE GOING BACK TO CAMP." "THERE WILL BE NO TIME TO STRATEGIZE." "WE'RE HEADING TO TRIBAL COUNCIL" "RIGHT NOW." "LET'S HEAD DOWN.LET'S GO." "WHOOO!" "YEAH!" "WE'REGOINGTO POPOPENTHIS" "BOTTLE OF WINE IMMEDIATELY." "YEAH." "WHOOO!" "( LAUGHTER )" "ITWENTDOWNLIKE" "IT WENT" "DOWN LIKE THIS, WHOA!" "ICANFEELITGOINGDOWN." "WE'REGOINGTO BE STREAKING NEIGHBORHOOD." "IDON'TWANTTOCOOK BECAUSE" "WE HAVE SO LITTLE, FI MESS IT UP" "I GET BEAT UP." "THAT'SWHATBOODOES FOR A LIVING, HE COOKS." "THATCHALLENGESAVEDMYBUTT ." "IF WE HADN'T BEEN DIVIDED INTO" "TEAMS I WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE, NO" "QUESTION." "I DODGED A BULLET, AND THAT'S GOOD." "THATMEATLOOKSGLORIOUS." "ANDBESIDES,THATWEALLGOT" "STEAKS AND SAUTED VEGETABLES." "IT WAS NICE." "IT BROUGHT MY SPIRIT BACK UP." "MAN,VICTORYIS SWEET." "IDIDN'TWANTTOGO TO TRIBAL COUNCIL, MAN." "IKNOW!" "CAN'TSTRATEGIZE,CANTCONSPIRE." "STRAIGHT FROM THE CHALLENGE." "THAT'S GOING TO BE HARD." "CRAZY." "ITMIGHTBE SOMETHINGREALLY" "CRAZY THAT HAPPENS, SOMEBODY WE" "DIDN'T EVEN THINK THEY WOULD" "VOTE OFF WOULD BE GONE." "I'MA LITTLEBITWORRIED" "ABOUT ALEX RIGHT NOW." "I HOPE HE DOESN'T GET VOTED OUT." "IF HE GETS VOTED OUT, ALL THE" "STRATEGY I WORKED FOR FOR THE" "LAST 20 DAYS WILL BE GONE." "MOOKIE HAS THE IDOL RIGHT NOW," "AND MAYBE HE CAN USE THE IDOL SMARTLY." "YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF?" "WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE PERSON." "THATSUCKSTHAT WE CAN'T DO THAT." "WHODOYOUTHINKTHEY 'RE" "GOING TO VOTE OFF." "ITHINKIT 'SATOSS-UP" "BETWEEN STASEY AND MICHELLE." "TINGWILLBE STACY." "ITCANBE ASURPRISE,THOUGH." "IF MICHELLE IS GONE," "I'M DEFINITELY CONCERNED ABOUT THE" "FUTURE BECAUSE SHE'S A KEY" "COMPONENT IN MY STRATEGY," "SO I'M REALLY KEEPING MY FINGERS" "CROSSED THAT SHE'S STILL ALIVE." "IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY, VERY" "INTERESTING VOTE BECAUSE YOU'RE" "GOING TO GET A LOT OF TRUTH FROM PEOPLE." "Jeff:" "WE'LLNOWBRINGINTHE" "MEMBERS OF OUR JURY." "ROCKY, AND LISI, VOTED OUT AT" "THE LAST TRIBAL COUNCIL." "DREAMZ, TELL ME ABOUT THE MERGE." "WAS IT EXCITING?" "WAS IT BAD NEWS?" "WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION?" "IFELTIT WASLIKEDAYONE" "ALL OVER AGAIN, EXCEPT THIS TIME" "PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW PEOPLE." "SO IT WAS ALL THE SAME TO ME" "BECAUSE I HAD FRIENDS FROM THE" "OLD MOTO AND FRIENDS FROM THE" "NEW RAVIEW, SO I WAS PRETEE I" "WAS PRETTY HAPPY WITH THAT." "Jeff:" "ALEX,WHATWAS YOUR" "REACTION WHEN YOU GOT TO THE" "BEACH AND FOUND OUT YOU WERE" "REALLY GOING BACK TO THE" "ORIGINAL MOTO?" "KINDOFAHOLYCRAP ." "I WAS SHOCKED." "I MEAN, WHEN I GOT THERE," "I WAS LIKE THIS IS NOT GOOD." "THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE FUN." "Jeff:" "MOOKIE,CANYOU START" "TO FEEL PARANOIA SETTING IN ALREADY?" "DEFINITELYFEELTHEPARANOIA." "I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE DEVELOPING" "DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIPS, AND YOU" "KIND OF LOSE YOURSELF IN IT, AND" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU STAND" "ANYMORE, AND DEFINITELY YOU FEEL" "THE PARNOTICE AI'M ON THE HOT" "SEAT AGAIN." "Jeff:" "WHYAREYOU ONTHEHOTSEAT?" "ITHINKEVERYBODYHEREIS" "ON THE HOT SEAT." "WE WEREN'T ABLE TO TALK TO EACH" "OTHER, SO NOW WE'RE HERE NOT" "BEING ABLE TO DEVISE A PLAN, NOT" "BEING ABLE TO TALK TO EACH" "OTHER, "UNDERSTAND WHERE OUR" "STANCES ARE ON WHO WE THINK" "SHOULD GO," "AND THAT MAKES ME PARANOID." "Jeff:" "STACY,SO HEREYOU SIT" "NOW, GETTING READY TO VOTE" "SOMEBODY OUT, WITH NO IDEA WHAT" "EVERYBODIES IS THINKING." "HOW UNCOMFORTABLE ARE YOU?" "IT'SPRETTYUNCOMFORTABLE." "I THINK IT'S A TOSS-UP RIGHT NOW." "MY HEAD IS SPINNING A LITTLE BIT" "BECAUSE THERE'S A GROUP HERE AND" "THERE'S A GROUP THERE AND" "THERE'S A GROUP TO THE RIGHT AND" "THE LEFT AND BEHIND YOU," "AND EVERYBODY IS THINKING ABOUT" "DIFFERENT SCENARIOS AND" "DIFFERENT ALLIANCES." "Jeff:" "DREAMZ,GIVEMEA" "REASON TO GET RID OF STACY." "ONEGOODREASONFOR METO" "VOTE OUT STACY IS BECAUSE IT AIN'T ME." "Jeff:" "MICHELLE,GIVEMEA" "GOOD REASON TO GET RID OF DREAMZ." "MEANDDREAMZHAVEN'TREALLY" "TALKED MUCH ABOUT STRATEGY, SO I" "CAN'T REALLY SAY WHO HE IS IN AN" "ALLIANCE WITH." "IT'S THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN." "Jeff:" "MOOKIE,WHAT'SAGOOD" "REASON YOU SHOULD GET RID OF MICHELLE?" "IGUESSONETHINGABOUT" "MICHELLE WE HAD A RELATIONSHIP" "AT THE OLD RAVU," "AND WE WERE GOOD THEN," "BUT SHE COULD HAVE SWITCHED" "TO A DIFFERENT SIDE." "THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL HAVE TO" "THINK ABOUT IN THE NEXT," "I DON'T NOW HOW MANY MINUTES," "AND DETERMINE WHO COULD BE THE" "BIGGEST THREAT," "AND WHO CAN STRENGTHEN MY ALLIANCE." "Jeff:" "MICHELLE,GIVEMEA" "GOOD REASON TO GET RID OF ALEX." "ITHINKTHEBIGGESTREASONTO" "GET RID OF ALEX IS HE'S A THREAT" "IN CHALLENGES." "HE.S VERY WELL EVERY TIME." "AND WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO" "IMMUNITY BEING SO IMPORTANT NOW," "IT'S DEFINITELY A THREAT." "Jeff:" "ALEC,GIVEMEA REASON" "TO GET RID OF STACY." "IDON'TREALLYHAVEAGOOD" "REASON TO GET RID OF STACY,JEFF." "Jeff:" "GIVEME AREASONTOGET" "RID OF MICHELLE." "IDON'TKNOWMICHELLEASWELL" "AS I KNOW ANYONE ELSE ON THIS" "TRIBE RIGHT NOW." "Jeff:" "GIVEME AREASON TO GET RID OF MOOKIE." "IDON'THAVEAREASON TO GET RID OF MOOKIE." "Jeff:" "GIVEME AREASON TO GET RID OF DREAMZ." "IDON'THAVEAREASON TO GET RID OF DREAMZ." "Jeff:" "DREAMZ,DO YOUTHINKAS" "PEOPLE SPEAK HERE TONIGHT THEY" "ARE SPEAKING NOT ONLY TO ME TO" "ANSWER A QUESTION BUT ALSO TO" "EVERYBODY ELSE HERE TO SAY" "HERE'S WHAT I'M THINKING BY" "GIVING ME YOUR ANSWER." "HEJUSTLETMEKNOW WHOSE" "NAME HE WAS PUTTING ON PAPER." "?" "HE'S ONE OF THE PEOPLE I DO" "TRUST IN THE GAME." "I UNDERSTAND WHERE HE'S COMING FROM." "Jeff:" "MOOKIE,HOWDOYOU" "THINK THIS WILL CHANGE THE GAME," "TONIGHT'S VOTE?" "ITHINKIT WILLREVEALSOME" "THINGS TO THE OTHER GUYS WHO ARE" "EATING STEAK RIGHT NOW, AND" "THEY'LL SEE WHO HAS BEEN TELLING" "THE TRUTH AND WHO HAS BEEN LYING." "Jeff:" "ALLRIGHT," "LET'S GET TO THE VOTE." "IF SOMEBODY DOES HAVE THE HIDDEN" "IMMUNITY IDOL," "AND IT TURNS OUT YOU" "WANT TO PLAY IT TO ME TONIGHT," "YOU WOULD PRESENT IT TO ME" "BEFORE I READ THE VOTES." "IT'S TIME TO VOTE." "ALEX, YOU'RE UP." "SORRY,MICHELLE." "IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL." "I'M JUST PLAYING THE GAME." "YOUWEREON THE LIST OF PEOPLE TO GO." "Jeff:" "I 'LLGOTALLYTHE VOTES." "IF ANYBODY HAS THE HIDDEN" "IMMUNITY IDOL AND YOU WANT TO" "PLAY IT, NOW IS THE TIME TO DO SO." "OKAY, ONCE THE VOTES ARE READ," "THE DECISION IT FINAL." "THE PERSON VOTED OUT WILL BE" "ASKED TO LEAVE THE TRIBAL" "COUNCIL AREA IMMEDIATELY." "I'LL READ THE VOTES." "FIRST VOTE, STACY." "MICHELLE." "ONE VOTE STACY, ONE VOTE MICHELLE." "STACY." "TWO VOTES STACY, ONE VOTE MICHELLE." "MICHELLE." "WE'RE TIED." "TWO VOTES MICHELLE," "TWO VOTES STACY." "ONE VOTE LEFT." "NINTH PERSON VOTED OUT AND THE" "THIRD MEMBER OF OUR JURY," "MICHELLE." "YOU NEED TO BRING ME YOUR TORCH." "MICHELLE, THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN." "TIME FOR YOU TO GO." "Jeff:" "WELL,IT WASCLEAR" "TONIGHT'S VOTE WILL HAVE A MAJOR" "IMPACT ON THIS GAME." "AND THERE ARE FIVE PEOPLE" "WAITING BACK AT CAMP EAGER TO" "KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT IMPACT WILL BE." "GRAB YOUR STUFF," "HEAD BACK TO CAMP." "GOOD NIGHT." "Jeff:" "STAYTUNEDFOR SCENES" "FROM OUR NEXT EPISODE." "Jeff:" "NEXTTIMEON" SURVIVOR."" "MOOKIE CONFRONTS DREAMZ ABOUT" "HIS VOTE AT TRIBAL COUNCIL." "i didn't screw you" "you did" "TRUST ME." "YOU JUST SCREWED BOTH OF US." "Jeff:" "ANDTHEFIREWORKSBEGIN." "IAMIRRITATEDWITHCASSANDRA." "SHE JUST MADE THE WORST" "MISTAKE OF HER LIFE." "I'MNOTGOINGTODECEIVEYOUALL." "Jeff:" "ANDDREAMZCAN 'TKEEPQUIET." "mookie's got an immunity idol" "?" "SURVIVORHASBEEN AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE." "I THINK MY ALLIANCE IS A LITTLE" "WEAKER NOW THAT I'M NOT THERE." "EARL IS GOING TO HAVE TO FIND" "HIMSELF A NEW SPY." "BUT, I THINK I'VE JUST AFIRMED I" "KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON I AM," "AND I KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABL" "?"

"The land of the host." "[Note:" "Spoof of Episode 3.]" "when our town was called by that name." "Those dream-filled Shinjuku skies upon which Japanese hosts once gazed on their dreams... are now filled with words by hosts from foreign countries." "there were two men." "Shinpachi Buttchin." "The two of them still run in this corrupt night town." "[Kintama]" "Yes..." "It was all this buttchin's fault." "The reason I couldn't become the number one host... which looked like a buttcrack. and blamed everything on this world." "But Kintoki said... then..." "Johnny Kitagawa.]" "Get a chin job." "His words woke me up." "Yes..." "There was a simple solution." "[Final Episode]" "Shinpachi." "The surgery was a success." "What's wrong?" "Take the bandages off already." "I'm a little worried..." "Wondering if I've actually been reborn..." "H-How does my chin look?" "Perfect." "Plastic surgery these days is crazy stuff." "[Note:" "Kintoki is talking like kids in Shibuya.]" "Why don't you take a look yourself?" "It's true..." "I no longer have a buttchin." "My chin no longer looks like a butt..." "It looks like the front." "[Fin]" "[Sweet Shop: sweets and cake] excuse me." "Is the cake I ordered ready?" "little lady." "Hold on a moment." "it's done." "[Note:" "On cake: "Happy Birthday Kyu-chan."]" "Sis?" "I'm sure Kyubei-san will love it." "That's right." "Mister." "Come again." "I wonder how many years it's been since I went to a birthday party." "even though it isn't my birthday." "That's right. where characters don't age.]" "so we couldn't have birthday parties if we wanted to." "please stop saying things like that. but for the rest of us and the members of Sazae-san as well." "["That Person Looks Different From Usual During A Birthday Party."]" "where's Gin-san and everyone else?" "They'll come after they buy presents." "Will they be all right?" "I hope they don't buy anything strange." "Otae-dono." "Shinpachi-dono." "what are you doing there?" "Shh." "Hurry!" "Over here!" "It'll be a problem if you enter through the front door right out in the open!" "The celebration of Kyubei Yagyu's birthday was a surprise I planned in secret. we should be careful and enter through the back door." "I see." "Kyubei-san doesn't know about this." "Makes sense..." "A birthday party?" "Who needs that crap?" "Would be her likely response." "so please flip through them. so please memorize your lines before the young master returns." "A script?" "!" "You've got a script?" "!" "How excited about this are you?" "!" "so please stick to the script." "Tojo-san? but the birthday party won't be any fun if you're so strict about it..." "Shin-chan." "Shin-chan." "Look over there." "Doesn't that person look familiar?" "Shunnosuke Oguri?" "!" "Shun Oguri.]" "What is a red-hot actor doing in this place?" "!" "I invited him to the celebration of our young master's birth." "too." "Whoa!" "It's Tamo-san!" "A big name in daytime television!" "Is he also..." "Obviously. so this is only natural." "I-Incredible..." "Celebrities from entertainment and political circles are all over the place!" "This is the power of the Yagyu clan... appointed instructors for the Shogun's household!" "cooked a la Provence with a thick sauce." "[Note:" "In French.]" "sir." "[Note:" "In French.]" "Oh no." "I had no idea so many people were invited." "How will we cut the cake?" "We'll end up with slices the size of little steak cubes." "Sis?" "!" "We're completely out of place here!" "Like we don't belong here." "I dressed casually since I heard it was a birthday party..." "But this isn't anything cozy like that! people of your status would not be admitted." "and stay in your seats." "Refrain from any actions that would be conspicuous or ruin the mood." "Do not shame the young master." "I'll go get the young master now." "we need to meet up with Gin-san and everyone else." "all hell will break loose." "You don't need to worry about that." "They know to behave appropriately for the situation." "they're over there." "See." "They're sitting quietly in their seats." "You're right." "That's a relief." "Guess we found them before they had time to do anything." "Hasegawa-san and Katsura-san." "I guess the people who went to Ryugu Castle were invited." "[Note:" "From Eps.115-118.]" "See?" "Even Kamenashi-san's shell is here." "[Note:" "He appeared in Eps.115-118.]" "I wonder if his actual body disappeared." "Don't say creepy stuff like that." "His wife might be giving birth again..." "[Note:" "The body of Kamenashi's wife disappeared so she looked like a skeleton during her pregnancy in Ep. 115-116.]" "everybody seems oddly serious." "Maybe they're nervous?" "Since they're surrounded by celebrities." "Something's odd." "What are they doing...?" "Five!" "five!" "Booya!" "I become a popular actor and my income goes up twenty million!" "I get twenty million every time I circle the board now!" "I've won!" "I've undeniably won!" "I'm a winner!" "I've become a winner!" "Finally...!" "Shut up!" "This isn't over until the end!" "I've won!" "You losers will never be able to catch up!" "Because I'm an actor!" "A winner!" "sure. don't forget that it doesn't change the fact dumbass." "You didn't have to mention that!" "Can't you let me dream when we're playing a game?" "!" "DORK." "A person who hasn't worked a second in his entire life shouldn't get cocky." "What's that?" "!" "like you guys!" "That's going too far!" "Get down on your knees!" "I'll cut you down!" "Shinpachi-kun?" "!" "I just became a popular actor!" "Don't give me that." "I was wondering why you guys were so serious..." "Why are you playing the Game of Life in this place?" "!" "Shinpachi?" "The Game of Life is an essential part of celebrating birthdays. the mother making the food is keeping a sharp watch." "So everybody gives up on video games and pretends to be good children by playing board games like Life." "So they can eat good food!" "This is the principle of the birthday party." "I don't give a damn about the worthless birthday knowledge you've assembled!" "the food isn't the issue. there's a possibility that she won't buy Kyubei-kun a Nintendo game afterwards." "And our dreams of gathering at Kyubei-kun's place after school to play RBI Baseball will be shattered." "[Note:" "Popular baseball game from the 80s.]" "ever!" "And what's with your obsession with playing Nintendo?" "!" "You've gone way back to being little kids!" "The mom isn't even here!" "[Note:" "Because Kyubei's mom is dead.]" "not the mom!" "This isn't like the birthday parties we held as children!" "Get a clue!" "what is that?" "Are they acquaintances of Kyubei-dono?" "No way..." "Shunnosuke Oguri is staring right at us!" "He's not even trying to hide it!" "We're here as Kyubei-san's friends!" "it'll shame Kyubei-san!" "You don't need to worry." "we've been to many birthday parties and eaten lots of food." "You could call us birthday party professionals..." "Birthday Fighters." "[Note:" "Caption on the top looks like Saint Seiya:" "Knights of the Zodiac title logo.]" "You only go for the free food!" "Birthday Fighters don't do anything to make the birthday boy or girl look bad. you make them look good in front of their mother." "This is an absolute rule. you earn the reputation of a person who makes birthday parties more fun." "That leads to invitations to more birthday parties." "So you must not mouth off to the mother. you must never mention that fact." "Because it'll affect their trust in you." "You won't have to worry if you leave it to us." "Relax." "Students from other schools have also been invited this time." "Pattern B-2." "stat." "Roger." "You're all idiots!" "Your presence here is making Kyubei-san look bad!" "You're the ones who smell like restrooms!" "You don't have to do anything." "There will still be plenty to eat." "This party is a buffet." "you can eat all the food you want." "So behave... what's with that tent?" "Why is there a tent in that place?" "That'll prevent us from getting food." "What is that?" "Is there a mountain climber among the guests?" "The party hasn't started yet?" "Why are you acting like someone lined up for an overnight release?" "!" "Why are you putting your body on the line for a buffet?" "!" "not my body." "Stop trying to be funny!" "That pisses me off!" "Just go back to your seat!" "This is embarrassing!" "You don't have to try so hard." "There will still be plenty to eat." "The people here aren't that greedy." "No way!" "Look at all the people here!" "My spring rolls will be all gone!" "All gone!" "I'm staying here forever!" "I'll stay all spring if that's what it takes to eat all the spring rolls I want!" "I'll give you all the spring rolls or fall rolls you want!" "Please go back to your seat!" "they'll chase us out!" "Come on!" "Everybody's laughing at us!" "See?" "Look." "Even Oguri-kun is looking..." "Oguri-kun was getting in line!" "He was definitely lined up like he thought it was okay to start eating!" "Tsk." "This is bad." "too!" "birthday guests." "Sorry for the long wait." "The birthday girl has finally arrived." "Tojo?" "What's going on?" "young master." "fool." "What's going on...?" "What's going on...?" "happy birthday!" "Th..." "This is..." "Kyu-chan's all surprised." "we're supposed to sing together now." "Sing?" "here." "This is it." "We can't stand out any further." "Let's try our best to sing along." "Happy birthday to you!" "dear Kyubei!" "Happy birthday to you!" "Happy birthday to you!" "What was that...?" "That was wretched." "what is he thinking?" "Huh?" "Why?" "Why am I standing out?" "I tried my best to sing along." "Go watch episode 17." "Go watch episode 17 again." "This is bad." "Tojo-san's slit eyes are wide open!" "Staring over here without even blinking!" "Happy birthday." "Happy birthday." "Th-Thank you." "Thank you." "Gin-san." "We're supposed to take a bouquet over to her now. so a representative from each table is supposed to take it to Kyubei-san." "A representative..." "I suppose I have no choice." "I'll have to go." "For I am the only person here qualified to be the leader." "Hold it right there." "You always call me the leader." "The leader of the leader is the real leader." "you two." "This isn't the time to be fighting amongst ourselves." "I should..." "I said I'm going." "I am!" "you two!" "Everything will be settled if I go!" "I can!" "I am!" "I will!" "happy birthday." "Here." "Th-Thanks... what's with that?" "Some type of harassment?" "what is wrong with that group?" "What did they come here for?" "Gin-san!" "This is bad!" "Tojo-san's eyes are going to shoot beams!" "Very bad!" "This will be very bad if we don't get our act together!" "I'm very surprised about all these people showing up so suddenly." "I'm very grateful that everyone came here for me." "Okay." "Then we'll do presents before we start eating." "Everyone with a present for the young master move forward." "yes!" "Yes!" "Sis!" "This is our chance to redeem ourselves!" "Let's take that cake to her!" "As a present!" "But they're all giving her incredible presents... this is a key to our company's car." "We would love the young master to use it..." "I'm kind of embarrassed to take such a small cake up there." "What are you talking about?" "right?" "I'm sure she'll love it." "That's right." "Presents aren't about price." "They're about feelings." "popular notebook among kids." "Costs approximately 100 yen ($1 USD).]" "Where are the feelings in your present?" "Somewhere around the 32nd page." "How would I know that?" "!" "Sis." "It's bound to be better than this guy's present." "moron!" "Poor people shouldn't be wandering around in a place where they don't belong!" "serves you right." "Damn eyesore." "Hold on." "You bumped into her on purpose." "Apologize." "Apologize to Sis!" "little brat?" "Shin-chan." "What?" "It's them again?" "What is it this time?" "A fight?" "They're such a nuisance." "Get lost!" "You don't belong here!" "This isn't a place for freaks like you!" "Yeah!" "Get lost!" "poor people!" "Cut it out already!" "There you have it." "not me." "I won't leave!" "I won't leave until you apologize!" "Shinpachi." "I must ask that you leave." "will not permit any further behavior that would besmirch the young master's honor." "That's right!" "Poor people should get lost!" "Got it?" "Make yourself scarce already!" "I was talking to the people insulting the young master's friends." "Tojo-san..." "You bastard!" "How can you say that to the guests you invited to a birthday celebration?" "!" "Those words will lead to the fall of the Yagyu clan!" "Guests?" "I don't recall inviting you." "The only people I've invited to this celebration are the young master's friends." "The other people merely take the effort to show up every year." "I suppose." "places friendship before money." "You won't be able to build your superficial relationships with the young master." "Bah!" "You've lost my interest!" "Remember this well." "You won't get off lightly for embarrassing us like this." "This is the last time the renowned Yagyu clan will be getting on its high horse." "It'll fall into ruin without our backing." "Tojo-san." "I'm very sorry!" "Everything's been ruined because you were defending us..." "Not at all..." "I wasn't defending you." "The renowned Yagyu clan has many connections." "There was a reason for mowing the lawn here." "It just so happened that some bugs happened to conveniently pop out as well." "You mean..." "I knew that you people would snap back without thinking." "You made the task so much simpler." "Now our lawn is all neat and tidy." "Tojo-san..." "Were you using us?" "Using us to instigate those people...!" "Who knows?" "Hey!" "Hold it right there!" "Damn slit eyes! but don't come crying when Father yells at you." "you have my gratitude." "Thank you for such a wonderful birthday." "12)}[Preview]" "Gin-san..." "It's been a long time..." "It's been three years of my life falling apart since this anime began..." "But next week..." "The next episode..." "The Other Side of the Other Side of the Other Side would be the Other Side." "I'll finally graduate from being a DORK." "[An all-out battle to finally end the downward spiral of DORKness!" "]" "refuses to lose this time around!" "]" "[See you next time.]"

"How long has he been asleep?" "Four hours, 37 minutes 16 seconds" "Shall I wake him for you?" "No, no" "Let him sleep" "He's earned it after this last one" "We all did" "I just wanted to let Mike know" "That the F.B.I. And D.E.A." "Took down the entire cartel thanks to him" "And you" "Thank you, Sarah." "It was a team effort" "Michael and I" "Could not have succeeded without you" "Billy and Zoe" "And I mean no offense" "By what I'm about to say" "But you look very tired" "Maybe you should get some sleep, too" "It's okay, Kitt" "I'm fine." "Thanks for your concern" "Did you just drool on me?" "Maybe a little" "Eww!" "Man, I was out cold" "Actually, Michael, you were not out cold" "You were in a very heavy R.E.M. State" "You know you sometimes sound like hal from 2001" "I find that movie extremely confusing" "You know what confuses me?" "There are not enough hours in the day" "For me to list everything that confuses you" "Oh, snap!" "Yes, Michael." "Snap" "I'm gonna need some coffee" "If we're gonna continue this conversation" "There are a number of facilities that serve coffee" "In the retail establishments nearby" "Large coffee, please" "Black" "Get down now" "Everybody get down" "Get down now!" "Take cover!" "Maddie!" "Maddie!" "Kitt, call 911" "Get down!" "911, what is your emergency?" "There are five heavily-armed suspects" "Assaulting a bank" "I have sent their location" "Directly to your computer system" "Please respond with your swat team immediately" "We have a problem" "Kitt, what's happening?" "Michael is attempting to rescue a child" "In the middle of what appears to be a bank robbery" "The suspects are firing automatic weapons" "Indiscriminately" "Michael is seriously overmatched and outnumbered" "Mike, do not engage" "I repeat, do not engage" "Sarah, Michael is not wearing his earwig" " He can't hear you." " Then get him out of there" "Give me satellite surveillance" "We haven't had a bird in the sky" "Since the government shut us down" "Then co-op one from the N.S.A. Or C.I.A." "That'll leave us completely exposed" "Zoe's right." "It's too risky" "We'll limit it to Kitt's cameras" "Bringing them online now" " What's your name?" " Maddie" "Hi, Maddie." "I'm Mike." "I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?" " Okay." " All right." "Come on, then" "My name's Kitt." "What's yours?" "Maddie" "Please don't worry, Maddie." "You are perfectly safe inside my interior" "But my mom is out there!" "Maddie!" "Move!" "Go!" "Go!" "I'm an undercover D.E.A. Agent" "M-16 in the trunk" "Cover me" "Damn!" "Where is he?" "Sarah, the gunmen's body armor is impenetrable" "Without armor piercing ammunition" "Then get Mike out of there" "He's not gonna make it unless we get him to the hospital" "Kitt!" "Kitt, we gotta get this officer to a hospital, and Maddie to safety." "Michael, this situation is beyond your control." "Kitt, do not leave Mike." "We have to get this man to a hospital or he'll die." "But what about my mom?" " I'll take care of your mommy." " Promise?" "I promise." "Kitt, go." "Maddie!" "Cover me." "Get up!" "Get up, move!" "Get in the bank!" "Move!" "Everybody on the ground!" "Move another inch and I'll blow your head off." "Keep your mouth shut, or I'll kill you." "Shut up!" "Get down!" "Get down!" "Put your face on the ground down!" "Anyone moves, I will kill the person on either side of you." "Please don't hurt us!" "Please!" "Then do not give me a reason to." "Hey." "Maddie's safe." "How do you know?" "That is your final warning!" "All of you!" "Let's go!" "Down on the ground!" "Move!" "Everybody on the ground!" "Billy, we need to see what's happening in there." "There's no way to see inside." "They've closed the drapes and disabled the security cameras." "If Kitt was close, we might be able to use his infrared." "Until Kitt gets back, our best bet is news coverage." "I was able to pull the plates from the two cars and the van." "Both were reported stolen this morning." "What's Kitt's E.T.A. to the hospital, and how long till we can get him back to Mike?" "Kitt, E.T.A.?" "I am less than 90 seconds away from the nearest hospital." "I called ahead and explained the seriousness of the situation." "Medical staffs are standing by." "Hello." "Hi." "Billy, this is Maddie." "Maddie, this is Billy." "How are you doing, Maddie?" "Well, I'm sitting inside a talking car that's driving itself to the hospital with a wounded police officer, and my mother's been kidnapped." "How do you think I'm doing?" "Okay, too precocious for me." "You have a problem dealing with any member of the opposite sex, don't you?" "Pretty much, yeah." "Hi, Maddie." "I'm Sarah." "Hi, Sarah." "I see you've already met Kitt." "Yeah, he's pretty cool." "And he's also a secret." "Can you keep a secret?" "Of course she can keep a secret." "She's a girl." "Please." "Hey." "You okay?" "I've had worse." "Are you a cop?" "No." "You act like one." "Be quiet." "You're gonna get us killed!" "Sarah, I've dropped Maddie and the wounded officer at the hospital." "I will be back at the bank in less than two minutes." "I counted five of them outside." "But there's only four in here." "One of them went into a back room." "What's your name?" "Lynn." "Lynn, I'm Mike." "Will you two please shut up!" "Kitt, we need to let the police know that Mike is inside the bank." "I don't think we should tell them anything." "They're cops." "They can help." "Or they could get him killed." "Or they could save his life." "I agree with Zoe in this situation, Sarah." "In case you haven't noticed it," "Zoe has trouble trusting authority figures lately." "I noticed." "Zoe, you need to see a professional" "About your trust issues." " Yeah, like that's gonna happen." " Like that's gonna happen." "Sarah, my concern is that the suspects" "May be monitoring police frequencies." "They are well-armed and very well-prepared," "Evident by their use of body armor" "And the military-style execution of their plan." "I'm with Kitt." "We could put Mike in more danger." "Kitt, as soon as you're within range," "I want infrared up." "What are you doing?" "I'm calling 911." "I already called them." "Well then, where are they?" "Give me the phone." "No." "Give me the phone." "What are you doing?" "Accessing infrared" "And tapping into police communications." "I have identified Michael's position." "His vital signs show he is alive and unharmed." "They're all face down on the floor." "I count four gunmen." "What are they doing?" "Call your husband." "Tell him where you are." " Hi, Frank." "It... it's me." " Hi, babe." "I'm at the bank and..." "I know, you go every Wednesday." " What's the matter" " I can't..." "Tina, what's wrong?" " Turn on your TV." " Who is this?" "Where's my wife?" "Turn on your TV now," "Or your wife is dead." "What channel?" "Any channel." "You, get up." "Get up." "Move." "What are you gonna do?" "Come on now." "Move." "Oh, what are you gonna do?" "Run." "Oh, my god!" "This is not happening." "This is not happening." "I'm gonna die!" "I'm gonna die!" "That's ok." "He shot him in the back." "Oh, my god." "They shot him in cold blood." "If you do not do exactly as I say," "The same thing will happen to your wife." "If you call the police," "I'll kill her." "If you talk to anyone, I'll kill her." "If you do anything" "You are not told to do by me," "I will kill her." "Do you understand?" "Yes." "Now sit at your desk and do not move" "Until I call you back." "What's the situation?" "They shoot a hostage by far." "Get him on the phone." "Right on time." "Cut the phone lines, all except one." "Take that one off the hook." "Sarah, my scanners indicate" "Someone made a call from inside the bank" "Using a satellite phone." "Who did they call?" "They used a scrambler," "So I was unable to trace the call." "Pretty sophisticated for bank robbers." "Very sophisticated for bank robbers." "They may be much more than bank robbers, Zoe." "The hostage was shot with a handgun." "It takes exceptional skill" "To shoot a moving target with a handgun from that distance." "All phone lines in the bank except one have been disabled," "And that one has been temporarily disconnected." "Sarah," "The hostage they shot is still alive." "He's in the open." "Swat is reluctant to move him" "For fear they will be shot." "Kitt, block for the police" "So they can get to the wounded man." "I want it out of commission now!" "Who are you?" "My name's Tina." "Why did he have you call your husband?" "I don't know." " Who's your husband?" " Nobody." "What does he do?" "Who does he work for?" "Who are you?" "Michael Knight." " You a cop?" " No." "I was just passing by." "Well." "You're in the wrong place at the wrong time," "Michael Knight." "Some people would say" "I'm at the right place at the right time." "Who'd you text?" "Nobody." "Who'd you text?" "My girlfriend." "Sarah." "Who's Kitt?" "You're gonna hit me again" "When I tell you." "Who's Kitt?" "My car." "I saw that one coming." "Attention." "Inside the bank." "This is the police." "We know that you've disabled" "All but one phone line." "Please answer that line." "We don't want to see anyone else hurt." "We just want to talk." "Sarah, I lost contact with Michael." "How?" "My infrared cannot penetrate the vault area." "Why would they take him to the vault?" "It may be in anticipation of a swat assault," "Since the suspects are refusing to speak to the police..." "Which coupled with" "The shooting of the hostage, has caused the incident commander to accelerate swat's plans." "The swat team is moving into place as we speak." "Kitt, what are the chances they'll be able to take out all five gunmen before any of the hostages are hurt?" "Not good, as I can only locate four of the five gunmen." "There is still one somewhere inside the bank that is unaccounted for." "See, I know what you're thinking." "Why haven't I killed you yet?" "Well, I got plans for you," "Michael Knight." "Please stop!" "Hey, leave her alone." "She has nothing to do with me." "Then why were you holding her hand when you were on the floor?" "She was scared." "I was telling her everything was gonna be okay." "Heroes get people killed." "Don't try and be one." "I don't know either one of 'em, I swear." "I swear!" "The only thing I hate more than heroes is cowards." "Aah!" "I'm not gonna hit you." "The hell I'm not." "Let's go." "Move the cart to the center of the room." "Stop." "The directions are simple." "Put the money in the bag." "Get up." "Let's go." "You." "Fill up a bag." "Get up!" "You, help him." "Move!" "Get up." "You can handle it." "Go, let's go!" "Move!" "Let's fill up the bag!" "It's not hard!" "Move!" "The swat team is in position." "Have you located the fifth gunman?" "I have not." "That's the master key for the safe deposit boxes." "Open every box." "Pile the contents on this table." "That could take hours." "That's not your concern." "Why not just stick with the money in the vault?" "You're completely surrounded." "There's no way out." "Team one in position." "Team two in position." "Get those safe deposit boxes open." "Team three in position." "Kitt," "The bank is wired with explosives." "Sarah, the swat team is in position and ready to fire." "Kitt, you have to get word to the swat team." "They have to abort." "It may be too late, Sarah." "My mark in five" "Four" "Three" "Two" "Stand down, stand down." "This is swat leader, abort." "Voice duplication active." "The bank is wired with explosives." "Team one standing down." "Team two standing down." "This is swat leader." "I did not issue that order." "Repeat." "Swat leader did not issue that order." "What the hell's going on?" "Is the bank wired or not?" "Stand down, stand down." "Kitt, I'm sending you the text number to contact Mike directly." "Texting him now." "Kitt, upload your replay files of the initial incidents." "Uploading files." "What are you looking for?" "Something's not right here." "Let's go!" "Move it!" "Open the boxes now!" "Whoever heard of fighting your way into a bank?" "You're supposed to fight your way out." "Statistically, successful bank robberies get in and out as fast as they can." "Their actions were deliberate." "They got out of their vehicles and opened fire before they were even close to the bank." "They were clearly trying to draw attention to themselves." "There was no reason for them to open fire." "Wiring the bank suggests they knew the swat team would have handled this all." "So they're barricading themselves inside the bank?" "Why?" "One of these gunmen never fired a shot." " Are you sure?" " Kitt, confirm this." "Billy, you are correct." "One of the gunmen did not fire a single shot, although he was armed." "His weapon appears to be taped to his hand." "Sarah, the person I am texting with is not Michael." "Are you sure?" "Yes, but I can't be sure the original message was not from him." "Should I continue communicating?" "You could feed him false information." "It might make matters worse." "You can't just stop communicating." "Kitt, what do you think?" "I think you are all correct." "There are an infinite number of possibilities since we have no idea what is happening inside the bank." "But I believe Michael may have proven himself to be an equal adversary in some way." "Otherwise, the person I am texting with would not be concerned about my location." "These guys clearly have a bigger plan." "Kitt, is there any way into or out of the bank?" "The police have the entire area" "Surrounded with swat and snipers." "Well, check the surrounding buildings." "There are no means of escape" "In the surrounding buildings." "What about under the bank?" "There are thousands of miles of tunnels" "Under the city." "Sewer, flood control," "Subway, water, electric." "But there is nothing directly under the bank." "What about up into the building?" "They could hide in the building," "But they could not escape." "Kitt, bounce the text message back" "Like you didn't receive it." "The police have made contact" "With the suspects in the bank." "They are making their list of demands." "Get us audio." "Listen closely." "I want five identical vans." "No windows." "Clear passage to the nearest private runway" "And a private jet waiting on the tarmac." "The jet will be running and cleared for take off." "What?" "They'll never give them a jet." "Kitt, what's swat protocol for situations like this?" "They will not allow the gunmen" "To take the hostages on a plane." "Unless they start killing the hostages." "That would definitely" "Factor into swat's decision-making." "So it's possible they'd let them board the plane." "Unlikely, but possible." "The plane will be completely empty." "Void of all people." "No flight crew." "If I see one person near that plane," "We start killing hostages." "No flight crew?" "That means they have a pilot with them." "Or one of the hostages is." "He couldn't know who the hostages would be." "Unless they followed a pilot into the bank." "The woman at the A.T.M. was clearly targeted." "You think she's a pilot?" "Can you identify her?" "No." "Hang on." "Blow that up and enhance it." "That's Maddie's mom." "Kitt, track down Maddie." "You have one hour." "If I do not see five vans in front of this bank" "In one hour," "I will shoot another hostage in the back." "Mrs. Martinez." "May I speak with Maddie Johnson, please?" "Yeah, just one second." "She's right here." "It's for you." " Hello?" " Hello, Maddie." "It's Kitt." "Hi, Kitt." "I hope I haven't called at a bad time." "Just waiting for dad to pick me up." "He said he's gonna be a little while." "Maddie, your mother wouldn't happen to be" "A pilot, would she?" "My mom?" "No, she's afraid of flying." "Is she okay?" "She will be fine." "I'm sorry to have bothered you, Maddie." "That's okay, Kitt." "Bye." "Bye." "Someone in there is obviously a pilot." "The fifth gunman?" "Maybe he's not a gunman, but a hostage." "They brought him in with them to fly them out." "The bank's a sub-branch." "There can't be that much money in it." "Not enough to warrant this extreme of an undertaking." "What if they're buying themselves time?" " For what?" " To open the safe deposit boxes." "Any way we can find out" "Who has a safe deposit box in the bank?" "I'd need a branch code." "Move another inch," "And I'll blow your head off." "Drop it!" "Now." "It takes you found what we were looking for." "Yeah." "Found it, baby." "Good." "Kitt, pull up all account numbers with a dash." "Those are the safe deposit boxes." "I have generated a list of all safe deposit box numbers and the account bearer." "Any names of significance?" "Searching databases and cross-referencing." "There is one." "Joe Carter?" "Kitt, who is he?" "A reputed mob lawyer" "Who also represents and counsels many drug kingpins." "He's well-trusted by them and has kept most out of jail." "There were more accounts than we knew about." "Let me guess..." "Numbered offshore bank accounts?" "Now, the account numbers are no good without their code names." "A good attorney has the code names for every client's account, don't you?" "Right on time." "Your private jet is waiting at the airport." "I know I don't have to remind you, but I will anyway." "If I see one person near that plane, we start killing hostages." "Let's get 'em ready to move." "The vans are outside the bank." "There's no way the police are gonna let them walk out of that bank." "Yeah, I have to know... what are they thinking?" "They're thinking they have another plan." "Like what?" "They have no intention of walking out to those vans." "There's no other way." "Write down the code names." "You need to worry less" "About your drug and mob friends" "And more about your own life." "Code names." "Now." "The code names." "Or good-bye family jewels." "You planning on just walking out of here?" "Something like that." "You know they'll never let you get close to that jet..." "If there even is one." "I know." "That's why you're going out the front door." "Tape him up and suit him up." "Let's move." "I told you I had plans for you, Michael Knight." "Get that armor on." "It's all a scam." " The bank robbery?" " No, the escape." " What are you talking about?" " These guys are smart." "Why would they suddenly turn stupid at the end?" "They have to have another way out." "Tape their weapons to their hands." "What are you looking for?" "Maybe another way out of the tunnel." "But Kitt said that there are no tunnels" "Directly underneath the bank." "That we know of." "Tell your husband you're okay." "Frank, it... it's me." "Tina, are you okay?" " I'm okay." " But you won't be." " Unless you do exactly as I say." " Yes, I will do whatever you need." "Please don't hurt her." "In exactly 90 seconds," "You will turn the power grid off for the entire city or your wife is dead, do you understand?" "I can't shut down the power grid." "Then say good-bye to your wife." "Ooh!" "Wait." "I'll do it." "The power's not off in 90 seconds," "She's the first to die." "Followed by every hostage we have." "Sarah, another satellite call was just made." "Who were they calling?" "Whoever it is, they have to have something to do with how they plan on getting out of that bank." "Maddie's mom was clearly targeted." "Why?" "Should we call Maddie again?" "She's waiting for her father." "I can check to see if he's there yet." "Why would he not be there yet," "Considering the situation?" "Maybe Maddie's mom was targeted" "Because of her father." "Who is he?" "Kitt." "Accessing information now." "All right, who is he?" " Nobody." " What does he do?" "He works for the Department Of Water And Power." "He's gonna shut down the power grid." "This is swat leader." "Load armor-piercing rounds." "Snipers, you have the green light." "Repeat, snipers, you have the green light." "Sarah, we have a problem." "Sarah, Michael has been dressed" "As one of the gunmen." "Snipers have been given the order to kill him." "Kitt, stop them!" "Do not fire." "Gunmen are hostages." "I repeat, the gunmen are hostages." "Stand down." "We have all clear." "Here we go." " Got it?" " Yeah." "Holy crap, they just took out the entire city." "Michael, raise the weapon above your head." "Kitt, they have another way out." "There's a tunnel under the bank." "When you clear the first tunnel, blow the bank." "Everybody get down!" "The bank's gonna blow!" "Fire in the hole!" "Mike!" "Sarah, Michael has disappeared under the bank." "Ah, they're going out through the sewer system." "There are 6500 miles of sewers under the city." "And 1500 miles of flood control tunnels." "That's not even counting the subway tunnels." "Wouldn't take much tunneling" "If you knew where to dig to get from the sewer system" "To the flood control system to the subway system." "With any kind of transportation," "They could move quickly" "Within a 1700-square-mile radius." "We'll never find them." "I have plotted an intersect." "How?" "They still have the cell phone, and I am tracking the signal." "Shutting down the power shuts down the third rail." "They're probably in the subway system." "No, no." "That's too obvious." "What else does it do?" "Opens the gates to the flood control tunnels." "They'd have a straight shot to the ocean." "With a fast boat, they could be in international waters" "Within 30 minutes." "Clear!" " The electric bikes are over there." " Let's go." "Sarah, they are headed toward..." "A sewer service opening" "In an abandoned parking lot." "Pardon my intrusion." "I see you've met my car." "There's more than enough money in these accounts for all of us." "I'm talking billions." "There's more to life than money." "Kitt!" "No!" "Thank you so much." "Yeah, I don't know what I would have done" "Without you... all of you." "Thank you too, Kitt." "It was my pleasure as well, Maddie." "How'd he do that?" "You should see what else he can..."

"Hold up!" "Nobody leave." "Someone, and I'm not naming Max, has been stealing from the diner." "Well, the diner has been stealing from me." "Youth, energy, will to live." "So new policy: before any employee leaves, there will be a pat-down." "I tried to start that policy years ago." "Seriously, Han?" "Is that really how you want to get to second base for the first time?" "It's not ideal, no." "Max, you're first." "Fine." "Feel me up, Low-bo-cop." "What's this?" "It's a boob, sad man." "This, however, is bologna." "Shame on you!" "That's tomorrow's salmon." "While we're coming clean," "I stole your identity three years ago." "It's over now, but I was caught up in a kind of Jason Bourne situation." "Caroline, I'm coming to you next." "And I thought this uniform would be the worst thing touching my body today." "Quick reminder:" "I'm a human being." "Caroline, literally slow your roll." "Well, if you're gonna hit bottom, you better have something to wipe it with." "Earl..." "Now, I know you are not about to accuse a black man of stealing... in this current political climate." "No, of course not." "I was just going to wish you a wonderful evening." "Here, Max." "You can have my bologna." "And I just..." "I think I love you." "I love you too." "Uh, Caroline?" "Oh, good." "You brought someone else with you to see that." "Owen, Caroline." "Caroline, Owen." "Owen, bedroom." "Caroline, later." "Owen, nice to meet you." "Do I detect a Philadelphia accent?" "I haven't said anything yet." "But I gotta tell you, you really took the cool out of Cool Whip." "Let's go in my room." "Oh, actually, Max, it's, uh... it's kinda late." "I gotta be at work early." "But I had a good time." "Good night." "I'll call you tomorrow." "We'll do something." "Oh... my..." "God." "It finally happened." "Someone doesn't want to have sex with me!" "He said he gotta be at work early." "Isn't that weird?" "That you're dating a guy with a job?" "Yeah, that is weird." "Max, maybe you finally met a guy who wants to get to know you before he jumps into bed with you." "Maybe Owen's the one." "The one that won't have sex with me!" "So what happens around here when nothing happens around here?" "Well, when that's not happening, cheesecake is a fun alternative." "I stole one from the diner 'cause I thought you wouldn't be home and I'd be sad." "You hide that between your legs too?" "Open up!" "I smell cheesecake!" "Oh." "And you know..." "And you know what that smells like." "Girl talk." "Girl talk?" "All right, but if we lez out, nobody catch feelings." "Eh, I'm just talking about a little chick-ity chat." "You know, friends sharing with friends in a completely safe environment." "Well, I've been having this recurring dream..." "Yeah, well, you'll have it again." "Let's talk about me." "Girls, Oleg and I have been having a lot of sex." "You know, standing up, sitting down, on a elevator, on a escalator." "Oh, yeah." "Going down and up at the same time." "All of that unprotected sex, and still no baby." "Did you just come here to brag?" "You know, Sophie, sometimes when people have trouble getting pregnant, they see a doctor." "Sophie, where did you go?" "I looked up from the harness, and you were gone." "Well, Caroline thinks one of us..." "Mmm." "And she's not pointing fingers at anyone, but one of us... you know, may need to get the sperm tested." "All right, but I've been known to miss the cup." "All right, Earl." "After last night's date, I need a rebound." "I'm ready for you to set me up with your friend." "He's dead." "I didn't say which friend." "They're all dead, Max." "Jeez, one guy doesn't want to sleep with you, and you're sweatin' to the oldies?" "Flowers?" "Oh, no!" "Am I dead too?" "I'm looking for Max." "She said she doesn't work here." "What is he doing here?" "It's so awkward seeing a guy the day after he doesn't see you naked." "Hey." "These are for you." "Flowers?" "For future reference, I'm more of a" ""Mickey's Malt Liquor" kind of girl." "Hey, can we talk over there in that booth?" "It depends." "How's your immune system?" "Caroline, cover my tables." "First I'll put these in some diner water." "I hope these flowers like little floating meat bits." "So... you take me to dinner, treat me like a lady, and bring me flowers." "What kind of sick stuff are you into?" "Max, I like you a lot." "Then why aren't you laying on top of me somewhere?" "Look, I want us to get to know each other before we have sex to be able to trust each other, keep each other's secrets." "Fine; just tell me your safe word, and let's go." "Mine is "pot sticker."" "I'm serious, 'cause when we do have sex, you're gonna find out that I'm not... well, I'm not regular down there." "Um... "not regular"?" "So does it look something like..." "This?" "No." "And bigger." "Uh, so something like..." "This?" "No, it doesn't have a face." "Max, something's wrong in the kitchen." "Not here." "Nothing's wrong here." "Just come with me." "Uh, well, can I see you tomorrow?" "Sure, but at least be late." "Give me something to work with." "I heard what he said." "What the heck does "not regular down there" mean?" "I don't know." "All I know is, it doesn't mean this." "It could be anything." "In Moscow, I saw this amazing penis freak show," ""Ripleyvitch Believe It or Nyet."" "I'm not over it "nyet."" "So you're really gonna go out with Owen again?" "I mean, you're playing penis roulette down there." "It could be gnarly or wonky or... truly haunting." "You're right." "I gotta see it!" "Okay, tell me again." "Talk to my like I'm a 10-year-old... with overdeveloped boobs." "It's simple." "Owen just wants to get to know you before he has sex with you." "That is sick!" "I'm ten." "Here." "Let's practice." "Pretend I'm Owen, and ask me something." "So, Owen, when you gonna take "Dem" pants off?" "Hi, girls." "Do you think anyone would notice if you closed your shop and we had a girls' day tomorrow?" "Where we going tomorrow, Sophie?" "Say Coney Island, say Coney Island." "We're going to a gynecologist!" "Yeah, see, Oleg said that he'd get himself checked out, so, to be a team player," "I'm gonna let a doctor poke around my front bottom." "Well, obviously I'm honored, but that's gonna be a hard "no" from me." "Oh, girls!" "I don't want to go alone." "I'm scared!" "You know, in Poland, our doctor was also the butcher, you know, because he already had the white coat and the metal draining table." "I mean, you try sharing a waiting room with a bunch of nervous sheep." "Baaah!" "Baaaah!" "Sheep flashbacks?" "I am obviously in." "Buh-bye." "This is the part where the sheep really started to freak out." "Baaah!" "Sophie, just relax, and maybe change into this paper gown so the doctor can have better access." "And as I'm saying this," "I really wonder what I am doing here." "Well, I don't need a gown." "I ripped the middle right out of my Spanx." "It's Owen." ""How about dinner tonight?" "Italian, sushi, whatever you're in the mood for."" "I'm in the mood for a little..." "Max, why don't you invite him over?" "You can make him a romantic dinner, and then you can watch" ""American Horror Story:" "Penis Edition."" "Miss Kuchenski, I'm Dr. Surden." "Baaah!" "Miss Kuchenski, why aren't you wearing a gown, and why are you clenching your knees?" "Oh, no." "I got the lock legs." "Hang on;" "I got an idea." "That tickles!" "Make your move now, Doc!" "That tickles!" "Baaah!" "Uh, m-m-maybe I'll have the nurse bring something to relax you." "I'll take a water if we're getting stuff." "I got to get out of here." "But, Sophie, he hasn't even examined you yet." "What's going on?" "You're acting odd-er than usual." "Well, what if Oleg and I can't have a baby because there's something wrong with me?" "I mean, what if it's not Oleg's swimmers?" "What if it's my pool?" "I mean, that would be so... sad." "Here's how I want things to unfold." "Do you think his thing will unfold?" "Like Beetlejuice?" "Do you think you can handle getting to know him?" "I'm getting really upset." "Hey, I have questions prepared." "I'll be fine." "You're the one who has to sit at Starbucks and listen to homeless Barb pitch her screenplay for the next three hours." "Uh, careful." "I've got a producer credit on that." "Max, your package is here." "Hey." "Hope you like white wine." "Of course." "I live with her." "And "her" is leaving." "Nice to see you, Owen." "You two have a great time getting to know each other." "Don't let this one talk your ear off." "She's the type of girl that just loves to talk." "You look beautiful." "You went to all this trouble." "I did." "Thank you." "And you look... man-beautiful." "Shall we sit and get to know each other?" "Like, for instance," ""Your wife's work friend Gary" ""invites her away on a business trip" ""where they'd be sharing one room." "Do you, A... "." " Max." " I know." "Obviously, she bones him." "When I said "get to know each other"." "I wasn't thinking "Scruples"." "I'm more of a "Hungry Hungry Hippos" guy." "I wish I could afford "Scruples."" "This is "Scrumples."" "Look, I don't know how to do this." "I feel stupid." "You may feel stupid, but you look really cute right now." "I do?" "How cute do I look?" "A, super very a lot." "B..." "Oh, it's A." "Seriously, have you never gotten to know anybody ever?" "I...don't know." "How do people get to know each other?" "I mean, what do you want to know?" "We didn't have any money growing up." "My mom was an alcoholic." "My father was... not able to be located by Maury Povich." "We moved a lot because the parking brake on our house didn't work." "So now you know me." "I guess you'll be leaving." "Was that an A, kiss good-bye?" "That's for being cute and for sharing that." "I definitely think we should skip dinner... blow this out 'cause I worry about fire;" "that's something about me... and go straight to dessert." "Is it weird that I want to talk now?" "Oh, wow." "Going right for it, huh?" "Wow." "Never would've drawn that." "I can't believe you won't tell me what's not regular about Owen's "down there"." "I tell you everything." "Fine." "Meet me at the first coleslaw tub." "Come alone." " Get out." " But I'm cooking." "Get out." "Fine." "This is garbage anyway." "Okay, okay." "Tell me." "All right." "Remember on "Full House,"" "when you thought there was one Michelle, but there were actually two Michelles..." "Why are you bringing up one of the craziest days of my life?" "He has two." "Two what?" "Owen has two penises!" "Why is it so hard to understand?" "Is that a thing that can happen?" "Yes." "It's called diphallia." "I just Googled it." "It's a medical condition in which a male is born with two penises." "The only case in which two dongs make a right." "Oleg, this was supposed to be private." "I think you mean "privates."" "What's the ball count?" "Oleg, stop Googling!" "I'm not Googling." "Now I'm on the phone with Sophie." "Who has two penises?" "Max's boyfriend." "What's going on back here?" "Max's boyfriend has two penises!" "Okay!" "Okay!" "That's it." "No more talk about Owen's penis or his other penis." "Well, Max, I guess he's not the one... 'cause he's the two." "Actually, I really like him, and not just because I can cheat on him with him." "Max, you can't be serious." "Hey, everyone has something wrong with them." "I'm messed up on the inside." "At least Owen's is right out there where you can see it." "Owen's stopping by just to chat." "I like talking now." "I think I'm gonna tell him about the first time I ran away from home." "I crawled to Detroit." "Max, I think it's great you were able to look past Owen's situation." "Even the sight of one of them can be disturbing." "Hey, everybody!" "Oh, good news." "Oleg's got strong sperm." "Well, that's the end of this cookie." "And the bad news is..." "Oh, I thought that was the bad news." "I went back to the doctor, and he said" "I can still get pregnant." "It's just gonna take a while, you know, 'cause my eggs are a bit like the eggs here at the diner." "You know, not exactly bad, just real close to the use-by date." "Sophie, what made you go back to the doctor?" "Well, you know, I was doing a lot of soul-searching, and I left my purse there." "So I figured, you know, while I'm here, why not take a look, you know?" "I mean, like Max said, everybody's got something." "Well, not to brag, but mine's got two somethings." "Hi." "I'm here for, uh..." "Table for two." "I mean one!" "Why did I say two?" "I don't know." "Have a good one." "You too." "I mean, one!" "Oh, hi." "Yeah." "I've heard a lot about you." "You know, but not everything." "You know, just a couple of things." " She knows?" " What?" "Um, no." "This is like meeting Elvis if Elvis had two penises and didn't die on his toilet." "Okay." "They all know." "Owen, wait!" "Wait." "I'm sorry." "Uh, I expected him to walk differently." "Did anybody else think that?" "Yeah, I was wondering if he wears briefs and boxers." "I was wondering if he'd let me take a selfie with them." "Guys, Max really likes Owen, and she might have blown it." "Which, again, seems like a lot of work." "What happened?" "He broke up with me." "He broke up with you?" "He said I betrayed his trust, and I said, whether I like it or not, you guys know everything." "You're part of the package." "And what did he say?" "He said my package was too much for him." "Your package is too much?" "I mean, he's driving a double-Decker." "Coleslaw tub." "Come alone." "Are you okay?" "I'm fine." "I don't really believe you, but I do know something that might make you feel better." "Oh, God!" "No!" "No more girl talk." "Private stash." "I get sad a lot in here." "I really liked him." "I did what you said, and I let him get to know me." "I'm never doing that again." "This isn't doing it for me." "I'm gonna miss him."