text: Russel Hobbs had always put on weight easily, so when he grew sixty times in size swimming to Plastic Beach, he thought it might be his thyroid. Noodle, riding on his back the whole way, guessed it was more likely the six tons of polluted shrimp hed swallowed en route.
  Russel had found Murdoc, but like a circumcision ceremony their reunion was cruelly cut short. Pirates attacked from all sides, so Russell cradled Noodle inside his giant mouth and swam away.
  Their trouble, however, was just beginning. Somewhere off the coast of Japan, Russel was mistaken for a whale and harpooned. He managed to wriggle free, but in the fracas Noodle was swept away into the blood-red waters.
  Wounded and delirious, Russel struggled on through the ocean, feebly humming the power ballad All By Myself until he lost consciousness. Eventually, he drifted into the warm waters of the Yellow Sea and washed up on a North Korean beach.
  Giant Russel was carted to Pyongyang, where he was exhibited like a modern day Gulliver. The regimes Glorious Leader declared that hed captured Pulgasari, the legendary North Korean Godzilla. Russel became the countrys biggest attraction, and I survived Pulgasari t-shirts became the nations fastest selling fashion item. Or would have done if people were allowed to sell anything other than manure and tanks.
  In time, the Norths meagre food rations caused Russel to shrink back to normal size. Realising Russel was just a man, the Glorious Leader proclaimed that hed personally defeated Pulgasari, and Russel was released. He was given a signed pressing of Kim Sings Sinatra, and sent back to England, where he wandered the streets of London, until musician and Gorillaz collaborator Jeff Wootton let him crash on his futon.
  A few days later, Jeffs phone rang - it was Murdoc. Without delay, Russel moved into Murdocs new West London home.
  The band was getting back together.