jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Milhouse to Bart, do you want to come over and play?
Really? We can be friends again? Did your mom die?
Uh, I don't think so.
Who cares?! Milhouse, I'll be right there! Sorry Maggie, game's over.
Hey Mom, I'm friends with Milhouse again.
Well, I knew his mother would come to her senses..
Thanks for sticking up for me.
What makes you think I did it?
Who else would?
You be good.
I will.
As I look out into this sea of smiling faces, I am filled with a sense of loathing and revulsion. You are not workers, you are a pack of mangy cud-chewing ugly goats! Well, you're in for a treat. We have with us today a real man. Behold the glory that is Homer Simpson!
Poor guy.
Uh... ladies and... gentlemen...
Just picture them in their underwear.
Um, Grace under pressure is no...
Three minutes to meltdown.
Whew! Saved by the bell.
Fifteen seconds to core meltdown.
Just do what you did before.
All right.
Eeenie meenie minee moe, catch a tiger by the toe... If he hollers let him go, eenie meenie minee moe.
Crisis has been averted. Everything is super.
Thank you Homer for saving my plant with that idiotic rhyming. Do you even know what button you pushed?
Sure. Moe.
Eenie meenie minee moe / Is Homer a hero? / The answer is... no. I'm Kent Brockman and that was... My Two Cents. Now back to Scott Christian with Laugh and a Half.
Thanks, Kent. There was more dumb luck in the news today when our own Police Chief Wiggum foiled a bank hold-up without even trying. It seems the chief had come to the bank to cash in his penny jar.
...48, 49, 50.
Good work, Chief.
Just doing my job.
Yes, it seems the chief pulled a Homer Simpson of his own.
Huh? A pretzel? Wow, looks like I pulled a Homer!
The Lakers have the ball. Magic Johnson's coming down the floor on a fast break. Magic stops. His feet slip out from under him. The ball flies out of his hand, hits the referee in the head, goes in the basket! It's a three point play. The Lakers win!
Looks like I pulled a Homer.
Our dad... now he belongs to the ages.
I hold in my hand the final axe.
Well, kids, that's all the time we have for today.
I'd like to thank Sideshow Mel, Corporal Punishment, Tina Ballerina, oh, and from "Knots Landing" Miss Donna Mills. Oh, she was a sport.
WE'VE HAD LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN/ BUT NOW THE TIME HAS COME... TO GO/ IF THIS OLD CLOWN WAS FOUND DEAD IN HIS BED TOMORROW/ I'D BE IN HEAVEN STILL DOING THIS SHOW.
See you some other time!
Great show, Krusty! I really laughed when you...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's my nicotine gum?
Ahh... that's the stuff. Damn, I'm exhausted. Those kids were like ice out there.
You've got a 4:30 Merchandising meeting.
Cancel it.
Therapist?
Cancel it.
Personal trainer?
Cancel it.
The opening line on the Giants is five and a half.
Put a dime on it.
Thank you dinner with Bart Simpson?
I don't know any Bart Simpson.
Krusty, he's the boy who saved you from jail.
Well, we... made a terrible, terrible mistake. Uh... won't happen again.
Well, there was one boy who trusted me all along. Bart?
Yes, sir?
Thank you.
Oh yeah. Cancel it.
Mrs. Simpson, this is Lois Pennycandy, Krusty the Clown's executive assistant.
Oh hello, Mrs. Pennycandy.
Read this.
It's Miss Pennycandy, I can assure you. I'm sorry to inform you that Krusty will once again not be joining Bart for dinner.
Oh, dear. This is the fifth time he's cancelled. How can he hurt someone who loves him so?
Oh, Mrs. Simpson, I've wasted my womanhood asking that same question. I apologize for him, something really important came up at the last minute.
Lousy mildew. Eh, that's good enough.
Well, thank you for calling. Good-bye.
Okay Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you down for?
A hundred.
Consider it done.
YOU'RE WALKING ALONG THE STREET/ OR YOU'RE AT A PARTY/ OR ELSE YOU'RE ALONE/ AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY DIG... DIG... DIG.
THIS COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING BIG...
Sweetie, I'm sorry, but Krusty isn't coming to dinner again.
Aw, man.
Dear Krusty, this is Bart Simpson, Krusty Buddy #16302 respectfully returning his Badge...
...I always suspected that nothing in life mattered. Now I know for sure. Get bent, Bart Simpson.
Ooh. Sex chat!
You have reached the party line! In a moment you'll be connected to a hot party with some of the world's most beautiful women. Now, let's join the party!
Are, are there any women here?
Are you a beautiful woman?
Do I sound like a beautiful woman?
This is not the sort of party as I had anticipated.
Uh...ehhh... deeee... eeee... deeaar... Dear... Krust..."y"...?
It says that the little boy who never lost faith in you has lost faith in you. Krusty, you are going to Bart Simpson's house for dinner tonight.
But I have plans.
Hey, not the face.
Why you, maddening, impossible man. If you don't go tonight, I won't be here tomorrow.
Oh, alright. I'll go.
But I sure hate missing Schnapps Night at the Friars Club.
Bart, wipe your feet.
Why bother, they'll just get dirty again.
I've got some good news. Krusty the Clown is coming to dinner tonight.
He is, for sure?
God bless that clown.
You think it's him?
Hi, kids! Hey, hey!
Heh, heh, cute kid.
Oh, hi Bart. I was just in the neighborhood. Why Krusty the Clown! What a surprise.
Milhouse. You can come in and drop the charade.
Krusty, you don't have to be "on" tonight.

Milhouse to Bart, do you want to come over and play?

Really? We can be friends again? Did your mom die?

Uh, I don't think so.

Who cares?! Milhouse, I'll be right there! Sorry Maggie, game's over.

Hey Mom, I'm friends with Milhouse again.

Well, I knew his mother would come to her senses..

Thanks for sticking up for me.

What makes you think I did it?

Who else would?

You be good.

I will.

As I look out into this sea of smiling faces, I am filled with a sense of loathing and revulsion. You are not workers, you are a pack of mangy cud-chewing ugly goats! Well, you're in for a treat. We have with us today a real man. Behold the glory that is Homer Simpson!

Poor guy.

Uh... ladies and... gentlemen...

Just picture them in their underwear.

Um, Grace under pressure is no...

Three minutes to meltdown.

Whew! Saved by the bell.

Fifteen seconds to core meltdown.

Just do what you did before.

All right.

Eeenie meenie minee moe, catch a tiger by the toe... If he hollers let him go, eenie meenie minee moe.

Crisis has been averted. Everything is super.

Thank you Homer for saving my plant with that idiotic rhyming. Do you even know what button you pushed?

Sure. Moe.

Eenie meenie minee moe / Is Homer a hero? / The answer is... no. I'm Kent Brockman and that was... My Two Cents. Now back to Scott Christian with Laugh and a Half.

Thanks, Kent. There was more dumb luck in the news today when our own Police Chief Wiggum foiled a bank hold-up without even trying. It seems the chief had come to the bank to cash in his penny jar.

...48, 49, 50.

Good work, Chief.

Just doing my job.

Yes, it seems the chief pulled a Homer Simpson of his own.

Huh? A pretzel? Wow, looks like I pulled a Homer!

The Lakers have the ball. Magic Johnson's coming down the floor on a fast break. Magic stops. His feet slip out from under him. The ball flies out of his hand, hits the referee in the head, goes in the basket! It's a three point play. The Lakers win!

Looks like I pulled a Homer.

Our dad... now he belongs to the ages.

I hold in my hand the final axe.

Well, kids, that's all the time we have for today.

I'd like to thank Sideshow Mel, Corporal Punishment, Tina Ballerina, oh, and from "Knots Landing" Miss Donna Mills. Oh, she was a sport.

WE'VE HAD LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN/ BUT NOW THE TIME HAS COME... TO GO/ IF THIS OLD CLOWN WAS FOUND DEAD IN HIS BED TOMORROW/ I'D BE IN HEAVEN STILL DOING THIS SHOW.

See you some other time!

Great show, Krusty! I really laughed when you...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's my nicotine gum?

Ahh... that's the stuff. Damn, I'm exhausted. Those kids were like ice out there.

You've got a 4:30 Merchandising meeting.

Cancel it.

Therapist?

Cancel it.

Personal trainer?

Cancel it.

The opening line on the Giants is five and a half.

Put a dime on it.

Thank you dinner with Bart Simpson?

I don't know any Bart Simpson.

Krusty, he's the boy who saved you from jail.

Well, we... made a terrible, terrible mistake. Uh... won't happen again.

Well, there was one boy who trusted me all along. Bart?

Yes, sir?

Thank you.

Oh yeah. Cancel it.

Mrs. Simpson, this is Lois Pennycandy, Krusty the Clown's executive assistant.

Oh hello, Mrs. Pennycandy.

Read this.

It's Miss Pennycandy, I can assure you. I'm sorry to inform you that Krusty will once again not be joining Bart for dinner.

Oh, dear. This is the fifth time he's cancelled. How can he hurt someone who loves him so?

Oh, Mrs. Simpson, I've wasted my womanhood asking that same question. I apologize for him, something really important came up at the last minute.

Lousy mildew. Eh, that's good enough.

Well, thank you for calling. Good-bye.

Okay Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you down for?

A hundred.

Consider it done.

YOU'RE WALKING ALONG THE STREET/ OR YOU'RE AT A PARTY/ OR ELSE YOU'RE ALONE/ AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY DIG... DIG... DIG.

THIS COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING BIG...

Sweetie, I'm sorry, but Krusty isn't coming to dinner again.

Aw, man.

Dear Krusty, this is Bart Simpson, Krusty Buddy #16302 respectfully returning his Badge...

...I always suspected that nothing in life mattered. Now I know for sure. Get bent, Bart Simpson.

Ooh. Sex chat!

You have reached the party line! In a moment you'll be connected to a hot party with some of the world's most beautiful women. Now, let's join the party!

Are, are there any women here?

Are you a beautiful woman?

Do I sound like a beautiful woman?

This is not the sort of party as I had anticipated.

Uh...ehhh... deeee... eeee... deeaar... Dear... Krust..."y"...?

It says that the little boy who never lost faith in you has lost faith in you. Krusty, you are going to Bart Simpson's house for dinner tonight.

But I have plans.

Hey, not the face.

Why you, maddening, impossible man. If you don't go tonight, I won't be here tomorrow.

Oh, alright. I'll go.

But I sure hate missing Schnapps Night at the Friars Club.

Bart, wipe your feet.

Why bother, they'll just get dirty again.

I've got some good news. Krusty the Clown is coming to dinner tonight.

He is, for sure?

God bless that clown.

You think it's him?

Hi, kids! Hey, hey!

Heh, heh, cute kid.

Oh, hi Bart. I was just in the neighborhood. Why Krusty the Clown! What a surprise.

Milhouse. You can come in and drop the charade.

Krusty, you don't have to be "on" tonight.