id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_4879fb | relationships | Me [21F] with my upstairs neighbors[20's M&F], at my end with their dogs, need advice | First off, i love dogs, i have my own, who I love and would do anything for.
My neighbors upstairs moved in last week, they have, what sounds like 2 dogs. Now the first problem is that dogs aren't allowed in upstairs units. I know other people in our complexes have them upstairs, and it doesnt bother me, except the fact their dogs bark constantly the second they leave. We're in military base housing apartments and currently they've been gone for 5 or so hours and i can hear the dogs barking constantly from my house, my daughters room, and even in the parking lot. They seem to be gone for a majority of the day, which now leaves the dogs in there barking constantly. It seems like they're locked in the small laundry room right by the front door.
My worry is first I'm going to get reported for dog noise as a complaint, the base knows i have dogs, they're registered and everything with the PMO and what not, but the barking is interfering with my daughters naps.
Should I just try to ignore it and listen to the constant wailing and barking? Talk to them? Leave a note? Go to military housing with a noise complaint. I'm at a loss but 5+ hours today of dog barking is putting me a little over the edge. My dogs don't bark unless outside and someone walks by the yard, and then I bring them to make sure they don't annoy anyone. My infant isn't getting her naps in which makes her super fussy.
I need advice. | New neighbors moved in last week, dogs constantly barking for 5+ hours a day, interfering with my infant daughters schedule, barking heard all through my apartment. |
t3_3uff4g | relationships | Me [34 F] with my spouse [33 M] of 10 years, How does one "accidentally" bite a nipple, repeatedly?? | I've been married to this guy for 10 years. I'll preface this with the disclaimer that I know my nipples are extremely sensitive. For 10 years now, every time I've let my idiot husband get near my nipples, he either pinches them until I cry out and push him away, or bites them until I cry out and shove him away.
Every time I yell at him and ask him why?? And he always responds with "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." And then does it again 15 minutes later. It's gotten to the point where I don't want him anywhere near my breasts.
He just did it again today, and this time I asked him what the hell is going through his head when he knows it hurts me. The only answer I'm getting is "It was an accident! I'm sorry!"
Since I'm not getting a real answer and I'm having a hard time not being really pissed about it, I figured I'd turn to Reddit. Is this really something someone can "accidentally" do repeatedly? Does he just not care about my comfort? Does anyone have any suggestions for making this stop?? | My husbands keeps hurting my nipples. How to make him stop, or is this something that he really can't help? |
t3_3xf1au | tifu | TIFU by trying to dress up for a Star Wars party | Tonight I'm attending a Star Wars themed Christmas party, so I thought I'd dress up a little. My initial idea was to wear a cardboard box and call myself an "ammunition droid", but my dad threw out all of our larger boxes that I could have made into an outfit. So, Plan B was to dress in a bathrobe and be a low-budget Jedi. After rummaging around my room for some other Jedi-ish looking clothes, I realized I'd need a lightsaber. No problem, all my kid's toys and stuff are stored away in the garage...I couldn't throw out my prized plastic lightsabers I used all the time, right? During my search through the garage, I came across a bin on a high shelf labeled, "<Poisonbullet9>'s TOYS". Score! I lifted the bin from its shelf and had a look. Inside were a bunch of boxes that I couldn't remember ever seeing, and where were all my old footballs, army men, and star wars toys? Then I realized: there, adorning the pile, was an Elite Xbox Controller. I had just found my parents' stash of unwrapped Christmas presents. I hope I'm good at pretending to be surprised this year.
I never found a lightsaber either. | Tried to dress as Jedi for costume party, searched through toy bins for lightsaber, found parents' stash of unwrapped Christmas presents. |
t3_3i52s8 | relationships | I'm (28/f) so turned off by my boyfriend's (30/m) sexual behaviors! Help | So my boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and are about to move in together.
In the past I found that he was talking up other women and using porn excessively. He would even pay to watch cam girls and all this stuff. Well after I found all of this out I was very hurt and our relationship went through a very bumpy road. I had started to send him some pictures and have him video stuff we did together so that when we couldn't be together he would have stuff to use for motivation.
Well nothing I did was ever good enough so he continued using porn but he said much less of it. So I started to just try to accept the porn thing when we weren't together. Sometimes when we're together something will be online that will be some woman with her tits half out and he makes comments and stuff and it really turns me off and makes me upset. I'm not sure how to deal with this. He likes huge boobs and has made that very clear and I only have C cups.
I feel like I'll never have his full attention in that way. I feel like he wishes I was bigger. He says he loves my body but he never initiates sex and when we have sex he's always so quick to be in&out. His comments and actions really turn me off and it's getting in between us. Help. | my bf is into porn and always comments on girls tits but doesn't show much interest in me. What should I do? |
t3_2re1si | relationships | I [18/f] recently saw my ex [20/m] at a party. Irrationally depressed over it | Almost a year ago in February, I was blindsided by a breakup with a guy I was really in love with. Recently I saw him at a party I went to. No one told me he was going to be there and I was having really bad anxiety and just uncomfortable that he was there. He was trying to hook up with a girl that he liked before me. Cool, but not my business. He can do what he wants now.
After seeing him and him not even looking at me whatsoever really hurt for some reason. Just reminded me of past emotions and devastation I had last year over him. I've been really depressed since then. I don't know why it's so hard to forget. I feel as though I should be over this already but I'm truthfully not. I feel dead inside and the betrayal I felt after the breakup still effects me. I'm still angry and upset and I don't know how to let it go. I'm struggling to understand why it all happened still and wish we were still together sometimes.
I feel like my mind is diseased. This was a setback in my recovery process and I can't stop thinking about it. It's tearing me apart. I'm really struggling to fight these almost irrational feelings. I'm scared I'll never be in love like that again.
I just need advice, tips, personal experiences.. Anything to ease these crazy emotions | saw ex after a year... Triggered a severe depressive episode and was a setback in my recovery process. Worried I won't ever move on |
t3_4ghl55 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my one year gf [24 F], we do long distance and I want an open relationship and more. | My girlfriend lives in Germany and I'm in the United States. We lived together every day since Christmas until April. Sex was slipping and I began not to initiate because I became un-attracted to seeing her all the time and took her for granted being there. I wanted something crazy.
The first time she flew back to Germany I cheated on her a week later. It's two weeks since she's back home and I want someone. It hurts not having her here. She's my best friend but I want some thing new physically.
I've told her I want an open relationship but she says she will not. I'm not seeing her from April until August. I hate using Skype.
I don't want to cheat on her again but I think about it every day and it gets my blood pumping and turns me on. | In a long distance relationship - USA to Europe. Not seeing girlfriend for four months and I told her I want an open relationship. She said it's not possible. I don't want to cheat again. |
t3_uld6h | AskReddit | Those of you who have had roommates: any wisdom to share on this situation? | Hey-o Reddit!,
I ask this question because I've found myself in an interesting situation. I've spent the school year living with a girl I was assigned to - and we get along great! We have plans to live together next year, and are viewed as the "picture-perfect roommates" by our peers.
Just yesterday, I was approached by an acquaintance at my work, who said he needed to talk to me about my roommate. Apparently, my roommate actually loathes me. This guy had pages and pages of texts from this roommate and her best friend, both of whom he's come to know in recent weeks. I asked to see what all the fuss seemed to be about, and it's not my habits or mannerisms that annoy my roommate, it's just me as a human being: my lifestyle, my choices, my personal life. Upon talking further with this guy, I come to find that my private secrets and life problems are a subject of constant ridicule by this girl and her friend, and often in the presence of other people, such as this young man.
I've shared a lot of personal, sensitive, private information with this girl; I trusted her and highly valued our relationship. While we aren't attached at the hip, I enjoy her company and have, until recently, looked forward to living with her next year. While I'm not one to jump to conclusions, I know that I'll need to confront her about the situation in a calm, controlled manner. If she doesn't like me, that's fine - but what I told her in confidence was never meant to be shared.
I've never been in a situation like this, ever, and I'm still in a state of shock, and honestly have no idea how to bring this up with my roommate. For now, I've chosen to move out and remove myself from an awkward situation until I know how to handle it. She has no idea anything is up, as I was due to move out soon anyways. Any suggestions, friends? | I thought my roommate and I were best friends, when she seems to actually hate me and share my private life with others as a subject of ridicule. What do I do or say?! |
t3_24dn7c | relationship_advice | I'm [17f] worried I'm losing him [18m] - as cliche as it may sound | Firstly, I apologize for my choice of English words, as English isn't my native language.
We're both studying now on the same campus, so we get to see each other every day. The term is going to end soon and he is gonna graduate, after that he's gonna go to university abroad. I still have another year to study and then I'll go to uni as well, but most probably we're gonna go to different unis.
We're each others first serious relationship and I can say without any doubt that there are feelings involved from both of us. However, in the recent week(s) I noticed he is really passive. Before this, the level of initiative from both of us was quite balanced and I didn't feel like I was doing too much or like he was doing too much. Now it's me the one who always has to message him and I find his answers quite hesitant and short (even though we live really close, we still use social networks a lot for communication). Around a month ago he was the one who was persuading me to try a long distance relationship and to prove everyone they're wrong about ldr not working. Now I find him really reserved about everything. He even mentioned breaking up, without serious thoughts related to it - but the fact itself made me realize that the thought of breaking up was actually running through his mind.
We still spend time together but I'm not sure how present he is. I assume he might be stressed over his exams and grades, but I still don't really know what to think and how to act about that. I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on him and he's too polite to tell me to fsck off. | Boyfriend turned from a really insistent person to a rather passive one. I feel like I'm annoying him and I don't know how to react or what to do. |
t3_lcpr5 | Pets | HELP! how do i get my four month old puppy to stop chewing on all my expensive shit? | My dog is a four month old half chihuahua half wirehair terrier mix. She used to be a sweet adorable dog, housebroken, and two weeks ago she got into some sort of manic state and started chewing on everything and pooping on everything. She has ruined two laptop chargers, four cellphone chargers, a whole slew of my daughter's toys (including some toys that used to be mine when i was her age and an expensive parasol my mother bought her) and has recently started getting into my potted plants. I walk her twice a day, feed her well, and she always has water. I work from 8-3 every day but in the afternoon my daughter and I walk her and play with her. I have tried lots of things like putting "phooey" on my rug (which she also ruined along with my decorative couch pillows) and keeping her in a crate all day. The problem with crate training is that she cries from the moment i put her in it until the moment i take her out.
Im at my wits end and sort of desperate. I can't afford to replace this stuff anymore, and if I can't find some sort of remedy soon I am going to take her to the humane society, despite the fact that both my daughter and I love our "molly wolly." I just don't know what to do anymore. Please, pet owners of reddit, help a newbie out? I don't know how to make this situation a positive one. Any suggestions? | My four month old puppy is a destructive menace. I do not what else to try, crate training was a massive fail. |
t3_1cmg7k | relationships | 8 months pregnant[25], found history of porn on fiancées[25] phone browser | No I don't make a habit of snooping, I just grabbed his phone one morning to look something up while he was sleeping and his history was just full of celebrity nude pictures/videos/sites. I quietly finished what I was looking up and set the phone back where I found it and never said a word. This was a few months ago.
Now I find we have a very happy relationship but since at about 7 months into my pregnancy the sexy time kind of took a dive. I understand, pregnant woman are not that attractive to all men and so I try to deal with it, but it sucks. But the photos/videos/searches persist (yes now I do kind of look for them from time to time)
Should I address this with him? Is this because I'm too grossly preggers to be found attractive anymore? | I'm pregnant and now insecure about myself because my fiancée keeps looking up porn behind my back...how do I handle this without coming off as a crazy jealous bitch? |
t3_1p4rlo | relationships | Me [26M] with my gf [24F] recently moved in together but she wants to date other people. | We've been dating for 6 years and started having relationship problems approximately 6 months ago. We met up one day to talk and she asked me for a break because she felt that our relationship had become stagnant and she needed space. Which is ok with me, she needed space to figure out some of her personal issues.
We've maintained pretty good contact and were "just friends" for a while. She moved in with me last month and now she wants to date other people. But at the same time she still loves me and sees a life with me in the future. I asked her if she questions whether I'm the "Right One" and she said she knows I'm the right one, but since she's only ever dated me she feels like she should date other people too just as I had before I met her. I guess she wants to just see what else is out there.
Should I let this happen? What should I do? | 6 year relationship with gf. Broke up but recently moved in together. She wants to date other guys. Help? |
t3_25u9n8 | relationships | My [31 M] wife [28 F] of three years wants to name our first born the same as the guy she cheated on me with | Pretty self explanatory. We went through a rough patch a few years ago, early in our marriage and she cheated on me. Long story short, it's all forgiven and we agreed I wouldn't use that stuff against her.
Now we're happy and expecting our first child. Problem is the name she wants for our son is the same as the other dude's. She's not doing it on purpose, it's a lovely name and I'm sure she really likes it for all the right reasons but *really*...
Is it OK for me to be annoyed by this? How do I approach it without the talk turning into a "YOU PROMISED YOU'D LET IT GO" thing? | My wife wants our first child to have the same name the guy she cheated on me has and I don't know how to address the subject. |
t3_ev9bp | AskReddit | Dating within your own Nationality.... Has anyone had this is issue? | I'm currently 24 and single.
It's been about a year and a half since my last serious relationship ended. I've been dating since high school and I'd like to think i am not a shallow person when it comes to being interested in girls (besides I don't really have the looks to be shallow). I've dated Irish/Japanese, white, Cantonese (Chinese), and Native american. However I have not dated a Mexican girl.... I am full blooded Mexican-American, I don't know Spanish, and i hate spicy food.
To me...Mexican chicks remind me of my family... as weird as that sounds. I recently began talking to someone I met off a dating site. We hooked up and then "HOOKED" up. Been hanging out every now and again. It was nice, and I figured the stigma I had about mexican chicks was beyond me... Until.... well she spoke spanish to me...and sounded EXACTLY like my mom/aunt/cousin/everyoneinmyfamily..... then I realized she looks EXACTLY like one of my aunts if she were younger.... I hate that this would be a determination in not dating her but i honestly don't think i could go through with it, and I wouldn't know how to tell her the reason why....
Has anyone else ever ran into this issue? I'm honestly just looking from input from people who faced this and how you were able to deal with it or break it off.. | Do you ever have a problem dating within your race because they remind you too much of your own family? Please share your experiences / advice/ |
t3_47m9eh | Advice | I [22/M] just need some words of wisdom to get me back on track again. | Hi everyone,
1.5 years ago I moved cities and left everything behind to become an athlete. I have been training with the Olympic coach and for now he has said that we are on the right track to becoming a high level international athlete. But... I feel so lost. Not because of dwindling motivation but I feel like when I'm done with this sport I will have missed so much of my life. I've somewhat put my education on hold. I'm taking online classes to maintain my full funded tuition. I'm seeing my friends graduate and it's getting me worried about what I'm going to do afterwards. I was thinking about applying to a university in this city, but I'm worried about lost credits. I don't want to have to redo 3 years of university.
Financially, I'm not getting anywhere. I have started to teach Tae Kwon Do, but it's for a boss who pays crumbs and it barely gets me by every month. "Get a better job?" I would. But the way the relationship works with my coach/master/myself doesn't allow me to. It'd be like turning on my master and the taekwondo family. It's tough. Right now, I'm chasing my passion, but honestly, unless I open my own martial arts school one day (I don't really like teaching) there isn't money in it afterwards. My boss/master has been telling me about job opportunities in movie business for stunt doubles, but honestly nothing has come up.
On top of that, I used to be a really good student, but I've been slacking lately. I don't know how to pick myself up from this slump. Training has been going well, but everything else seems to be in a decline. I want to stop before I hit rock bottom and start failing my courses. I need help on how to do this.
I know this seems stupid to say, it should be easy. I'm an athlete, I know how to push. But... I don't know. I felt like I've stopped caring and I know I should not feel that way. | Moved to a different city. Am an athlete. Athletics is going well, feel like rest of life is going downhill. Need someone to kick my butt and tell me how it is. |
t3_11uo76 | BreakUps | Girlfriend[26] of 6 years left me[24]. | She left yesterday, she came and took some of her things. She told me, it was her. That I deserved better than her. She said that she was going to cheat on me, but didn't want to do it while I was with her. So she is breaking it off before she had actually done anything. She says she loves me, but I don't get why she would leave? I understand we got together young, I understand that she may want to explore. She says it's a "Break". we had a break once before. However, I really don't want to go through this every 3 or 4 years. Am I right in not taking her back?
I'm stuck in a 1 bdr with all of her stuff, and she'll be coming to get it all soon I'm sure. She said she would pay her half of the rent... However, we still have about 6 or 7 months left on our lease. I really don't want to live here alone for that long... I'm not sure what to do, I've never been in this situation. She is currently living with her parents now. Whatever she needs to do, is fine. I love her, I want her back... but I just can't do this every time she feels like she is not happy. | girlfriend left me because she feels unsatisfied, stuck in the apartment alone for the next 7 months.. am I wrong for not wanting her back? |
t3_3owfph | tifu | TIFU by helping my friend look for his remote, but instead ended up grabbing a big black dildo. | So this just happened about 5 minutes ago and the first thing I could think of, after washing my hands, was to post this!
I came over to my friend from work's house to introduce him to Rick and Morty. It's a great show and I thought it'd be great to smoke a few doobs with this guy, we'll call him, Gerard, and have a good time.
So we go back to this house, go up to his room (he shares with his girlfriend in a big house, so his room is pretty much a bed with a giant TV), roll up a few joints and crack into season 1. The volume is slightly low though so we start looking for the remote.
I was lying on the bed with my back against the wall and reached behind my back, blindly down the side of the bed..
A slightly rubbery texture grazed my hand. Convinced it was a button from a remote, I reached down and grabbed it. I was sadly, sadly mistaken. For context, Gerard has already filled me in on his sex life a fair bit and I knew his girlfriend is preeettttyyy freakaaayy. So me finding this big black dildo, was just not OK.
I knew without pulling it out what it was, so instead of saying anything, or pulling it out and flopping it about screaming "DILDO!", I went to the bathroom and washed my hands. I came back in and Gerard was downstairs making tea, so here it is.
Exactly where I left it.
Butt-plug attachment and all. | Tried to find a remote down the side of a bed without looking. Grabbed a big black dildo instead. |
t3_20ymvc | relationship_advice | [24f] Fantasy Baseball has turned my SO [31m] into a fucking monster. Can you relate? | I preface this by saying, I'm sorry if this seems like a rant, but is is a honest request for advice.
It's that time of year where I'd imagine every man involved in Fantasy baseball goes ape shit and it's really harming my self worth. My boyfriend and I live together, work from home together, see each other a lot, so when baseball season starts I get seriously neglected, as well as his hygiene and manners. He is normally so sweet and considerate, but everything changes when it's time for a "draft" or to conspire with his team co-captain or whatever. If I have the slightest question, concern or need he either ignores me or takes this tone in his voice that makes me sick to my stomach. I tell him this, and he blatantly doesn't care. He thinks I'm being selfish because I have my own activities he's not involved in, but jeez I don't spend 8+ hours ignoring the world doing my hobbies. And when I do I take it out of the house. I make a point of getting out of the house for more than just meals. He's a curmudgeony hermit at 31.
His coldness really brings out the anxiety in me and I've taken to popping xanax behind his back....again. Sometimes it's the only way I can cope with life's regular stresses piled on top of his cold distant behavior. He also has very little interest in sex and it's like pulling teeth to get him in bed.
I don't know what to do. I'd be more understanding if the season wasn't so long, and if he used a gentler tone when he tells me to "fuck off", but neither of those things are gonna change, so what can I do, reddit?
Even our cat is at her wit's end: | My SO spends pretty much all his waking hours working and doing fantasy baseball. I feel neglected and have been coping with benzos. |
t3_1vjnh6 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [22 F] of one year, GF wants to take nudes for a project. Should I support her? | My GF and I got into quite an argument when she asked my how I would feel, if she got some nude photos taken for The Nu Project, a book and online gallery of natural naked women. She is an outspoken feminist and feels obligated to do more.
I answered that I don't like the thought of her naked body on the internet for everyone to see and how I'm put off by the thought of countless other men masturbating to naked pictures of her.
Apparently she didn't even want to participate, but now she's mad at me for not being supportive. It's a matter of principle for her, she says. I would never say that she's not allowed to do it or that I would stand in her way. I just said that I didn't like the idea. Am I being unreasonable and should I just support her? | GF wanted to have nudes taken for a project. I don't like the idea. Should I support her anyway? |
t3_1qaqyj | relationships | I [18/f] am interested in a guy [19/m] that I met at the dorms of my college three months ago and I'm not sure how to proceed. | As I said, I'm an 18 year-old female, and I've been at this college for three months now and met him at the dorms. He's 19 and I think we've been getting along quite well. We've become quite close I think and just about every night now we've been hanging out to watch a TV show off of his laptop down in the common room.
We don't share any classes and only see each other after classes and on weekends. It's been mostly making plans to go to the gym with a friend of mine, watching TV, and sticking together during group excursions with the college (waterpark, to the city, movies, etc).
Last week I asked if he wanted to see a movie and we set a time and date and I guess I wasn't explicit enough that it was a date because he invited three of our friends along.
Because we've spent so much time together that multiple people have asked us both if we're together and when it gets mentioned, he laughs.
He seems to have quite a bit of emotional baggage and he mentions ex-girlfriends quite a lot. He has also said, I thought jokingly at the times, that I was controlling (another friend has also mentioned it, so I've been trying to work on being less controlling but I'm not too sure on how to do that).
So, basically, I don't know how to deal with him because I can't decide if he's interested in me or not after having him bring along friends to a date. Should I ask him out again more explicitly this time or am I missing the signs that he's not interested? Any help is greatly appreciated! | Met a guy, like a guy, asked him out, he brought friends, he might think I'm controlling, and I don't know if I'm missing the obvious. |
t3_4swxvi | travel | Looking for nice coral on the cheap, where should I be looking? | Hey all,
Looking to surprise my boyfriend sometime next year with a vacation. We both love to snorkel, explore ancient ruins/modern abandoned towns and hike (not mountain climbing but I would describe them more as advanced walks in the woods).
Neither of us care to be waited on hand and foot, nor do we really enjoy laying around on the beach/suntanning. (I should also say that we are both very hesitant around large waves/rough water so calm waters would be highly preferred)
Therefore if you think of those memes of "if you want fast, cheap and good service, you can only pick two?" - think of a resort one with "good beach, cheap and luxurious" and we would much rather go with cheap and good beach. Literally a hostel (albeit a private room), as long as it's near good coral will be okay (preferably part of the property but as long as it's easily assessable)
We went to the Mayan Riveria two years ago and loved it. The resort we stayed at was 2.5 or 3 stars and I felt it was still too posh (it was the Grand Bahia Principal Tulum IIRC)
We'd be flying from Regina most likely but can get to Toronto or Vancouver on the cheaper side if need be. I'd like to spend about 12-1500$(cdn) (although if one of you can point me in the direction of something amazing I can save up a bit more) each including airfare for about 5-7 days (no idea on dates yet, probably off season/peak though).
Any suggestions? As I've said, we've been to Cancun region before and while it was nice, it lacked coral but had beautiful caves to snorkel in and ruins to explore. I've been to Fiji without him and it was to die for but a bit further than we can travel with our limited vacation time.
We're both Canadians, I speak limited Spanish and he can rent a car if needed. | in search of calm waters with coral (ruins, abandoned towns and hiking would also be pluses but not needed) on the cheap (under 1500$cdn per person) for two Canadians. |
t3_nhenp | relationships | Is it wrong to want reassurance? | My boyfriend (recently turned 24) and I (19) have been dating for a little over 5 months. We met online because of similar interests in video games, and from there things escalated. We're trying to get him out here for Christmas. I'm very happy with him. We try to talk on the phone or on Skype regularly. I feel like things are going really nicely between the two of us.
Unfortunately, while things seem okay, I have one little hangup. He doesn't like to compliment or share his feelings. I know a lot of guys can be this way, and it's not something I absolutely need to get through the day, but it does help. I don't know if this is something I should tell him about, or something I should deal with and get over.
There are times I like to tell him how I feel about him, or how happy I am that he's in my life, just because I know how it would make me feel if he were to say those things as well. (and mostly because I feel like exploding until I tell him.)
Again, reassurance and compliments aren't things I *need*, but it would be nice to have them returned once in a while. Is this wrong of me? Am I being selfish to want this? | Long distance boyfriend isn't free with compliments or sharing his feelings. Is it wrong that I want reassurance of his feelings for me? |
t3_39x9ud | relationships | I'm [M27] embarrassed, but get really jealous about my GF's [F26] of 9 months celebrity crushes. | I feel so stupid posting this because it's such a silly problem, but it's a problem nonetheless. I can't help but get jealous at my girlfriend's celebrity crushes. It's not like she is constantly talking about them or something, but if she mentions something like "oh I love him, he's so hot!" I can't help but feel pings of jealousy, and then I shut down and am cold towards her.
It's completely stupid and irrational, but it still makes me feel terrible. I've been cheated on and left in the past for other people by ex's, and I think it sort of taps into that. How do i not let it bother me so much? A little comment sadly can completely wreck my mood. | I get jealous over my girlfriend's celebrity crushes. It taps into the feelings I felt when I was cheated on/left for other people in the past. It's ridiculous but I'm not sure how to not care... |
t3_46hz8a | legaladvice | [Oklahoma] dealing with being over billed and a HIPPA violation and I'm not sure what I need to do to proceed. | Around mid 2015 I went to the ER for some hearing lost I was having and I took a few test, talked to a single doctor and went home because they couldn't find a cause. When I first received a bill I noticed they billed me for multiple things that didn't happen like certain test and for seeing multiple doctors when I only saw one. I have been disputing this with the hospital and they said they would investigate it. I called ever time I received a bill and I was kept being told it was still under investigation. Recently I called the hospital and they said that they ended the investigation and sent the bill to collections, even though there was multiple things on it that they charged for that didn't happen. I called my health insurance company (I'm under my dad's) and told them, because it's basically billing fraud. I still haven't heard back from them but the debt collectors keep contacting me after I told them not to and I'm not sure what options I have with them.
The 2nd part of this is that while I told my stepdad about my visit I didn't go into details, but apparently someone at the hospital told him a lot of my private information and even told him about the specific test I had done which I didn't want him to know about and it has started some trouble in the family. I know it says HIPPA violation but I'm not sure what to do about it. While the bill was high and the hospital is generally unhelpful I don't mind paying the bill as long as I actually pay for what happened to me. What are my options for exploring the privacy violation? | Went to hospital, they over billed me and then sent it to collections and told my dad about my private health information. |
t3_1b2m2r | relationships | Is living together too soon? [F19] [M23] | Relationship 1 y and 2 m.
My SO and I were discussing about how I'm probably moving any time soon ( I am renting a house which is for sale. Me and my current roommate 'babysit' it till it's sold. Now there are potential buyers and we get replaced somewhere else ).
About 4 months ago my SO also moved to a new place. He later said he wouldn't mind if we were moving in together. But he came up with that idea when he already found a new room. Now we are here with another opportunity.
My question is; when are you ging too fast? I really want us to live together and he said the same last week too. But I am only 19 years old, going on 20 in 3 months, and this is my first serious relationship. I scared that we say after a couple of months that we did things too fast and we can't work it out anymore or something like that.
We do both have the idea that things will work great. I see him 5/6 times a week already and we communicate well. The only thing that keeps me off is that I'm still so young. Money is not really a problem since my rent is (and will stay) **really** low and he would be moving in with me. We also get study financing from the government and we both have a job. | SO and I are thinking of moving in together, but I don't know for sure because I'm young [F19] and this is my first serious relationship. Looking for some different views. |
t3_2zrlcr | relationships | I [32m] feel bad about my social life when compared with my girlfriend's [28] social life. | The necessary relationship disclaimer: We've been together just over 5 months. It is the most incredible relationship of my life. Things between us are great, and we love each other a lot.
Now to the issue…
My social circle has dwindled greatly over the last couple years, mostly due to the transitory nature of academia. The circle of friends that I did lots of things with doesn't exist anymore, and a couple new circles have formed without me (not that this is an inherent problem). Mostly, I find myself lacking a group of friends that want to go out and do things together. My handful of friends are mostly homebodies, and rarely want to go out. A few of those friends are in a "new" friend circle so to speak, and are often doing their own thing.
My girlfriend has an incredibly busy and fulfilling social life, and her core group of friends are always out doing things together. I wouldn't have it any other way for her, and realize that these weird feelings I am having are my problem and don't have anything to do with her.
Before we got together, I was in a depressive rut for the better part of a year. I've mostly come out of it, but maybe not totally. A lack of a social life was one of the things that affected me, and I think those issues haven't fully been resolved.
It's not that I'm jealous of my girlfriend's social life, it's just that it blatantly reminds me that I don't have much of one. And, alongside with wanting to hear about what a great time she had at 'x' or 'y', it also frustrates me because that outlet is greatly lacking in my life.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? | My social life sucks, and my girlfriend's amazing social life gets me frustrated because it reminds me of how much my social life sucks. Any experiences with this? |
t3_2n9acv | relationships | I (f31) snooped in my boyfriends (m32) phone and found some shit | I went in to seek confirmation that I was overreacting. I've been hurt before so I was being really suspicious so I went through the message between him and another girl. There was a tad bit more emotional involvement there than I like but really nothing to be worried about. Although I'm pretty sure he's delete some of their conversation.
Then I saw a conversation with another girl.
BF and I have been together 2 years and lived together for 1. He's military I'm not girl 2 is.
He tells her how hot she is and how he thinks about making out with her aggressively and how bad he wants to. He asks her for some cuddle time soon. This is all a few months ago during summer.
Then while he's on leave and I'm in Europe in October he I suggest he go on a bike trip with some buddies.
He asks her to go away with him for his leave, he would really like it, it would be really fun and he wants to see her.
She has turned him down with excuses of family obligations (she seems to have a daughter) but he keeps going after her. His last attempt was 2 weeks ago but she hasn't responded.
He's a pretty good relationship and other than these texts there's really no indication of cheating. All I want too do is monitor the conversation between them to see if he gets his wish, but I should probably talk it out. | bf seems to be actively seeking out contact with a female he's attracted to with no reciprocation. I snooped to find the texts and don't know what to do. |
t3_2dbfmy | relationships | I [20M] met someone [18F] on Tinder a few months ago, but she won't meet me and I'm frustrated. | I realise this might be the wrong place but you guys give good advice. We started talking about a common interest on Tinder, and in a few days we were chatting on facebook. We weren't talking all that much, sort of here and there I guess. I found out later during that time she was kind of seeing some other guy she met from Tinder, who she later cut off contact with.
It was only recently in the last month that we've become really close. We've realised we share a lot in common and get along really well. We had organised to catch up for a movie the other week (she asked me in fact), but she called it off a few hours before as she got called in to work.
I've had issues in the past with being led on and messed around and that sort of thing, so I was pretty down. A few days later we were chatting about us, and she told me she was hesitant to meet me because I reminded her of her ex. Mainly in the way that we communicate and get along (not a bad thing, just personal memories or whatever). They had a bad ending apparently, but she has said she is ready for a relationship. She's also admitted she's a little indecisive.
It's been about 2 months since we started talking. Sometimes she's unable to go out, but I have asked a few times if she was free, but not pushing it too much. My previous experiences with being led on has got me really anxious about the whole thing.
I think I've covered most of the important stuff. I think she's a really great person and I'd like to get to know her more, but I'm not sure how to approach it. | met girl on tinder, talked for a while, gotten close, won't meet me because i remind her of her ex. |
t3_tsd3f | AskReddit | Blu ray drive with no working player software... How can I watch my movies? | Hi Reddit, I have an HP laptop, dv7, that came with a blu-ray drive. The drive works fine but the software player that came with the laptop apparently only works with blu ray discs made before 2009. I called HP and their response was basically that "the newer blu ray discs have a newer version on them, and so you need to upgrade your player software by buying it." Ignoring the tremendous ridiculousness of this concept, how can I go about watching my movies in the most inexpensive (but legal) way?
I tried trial versions of some players, but those have expired already, and I would really prefer not to pay ~$90 for a software player. I've also considered just buying another blu-ray drive that includes bundled software for $60 or so, but this still feels ridiculous because I have a working blu-ray drive. | HP sucks, forces you to buy new software to watch newest blu-rays, want to find a cheap and legal software solution. |
t3_4xbz6b | relationships | My guy friend [M 20] won't respond to any of my texts [F 20] | I've been friends with this guy for about a year. We got to know each other because we were in the same class and sat next to each other. We used to hangout and talk for hours. We had a lot in common and I really enjoyed our friendship and I thought he did too. Recently, he's stopped responding to all my texts for the last month. He's never done this before. I have no idea what I did. We never had any conflict or any drama. The only thing I can think of is that he got engaged last month and maybe his fiancé doesn't like him spending time with me? I don't know. Should I just give up on him? I hate to lose this friendship, but I feel like I should need to move on. Thanks! | Guy friend hasn't responded to any texts within the last month with no reason given. I'm getting tired of putting up with it. |
t3_3uk7tt | tifu | TIFU By Telling My Gf's Brother That I have Sex With His Sister | So my gf, her brother and I were leaving their house today after we decided we wanted to go for coffees and pickup a pizza to take back home.
It's kinda our thing to do occasionally on Friday nights. We head to the nearest Starbucks and pick up a pizza afterwords then we usually play some cards once we get back home. Its a fun thing we enjoy, we always have fun the odd time we do that.
Anyways, after we returned with the box of pizza which I was carrying I ran up the short flight of stairs leading up to the front door of the house, they both followed behind me since the stairs aren't wide and only one person can go up at a time.
This is where I fucked up...
I had a strip of 6 condoms in my open jacket pocket that I forgot to zip up. As I quickly jogged up the steps they had fallen out and I heard them fall but didn't realize it was that.
I stopped going up and turned around to see what it was and there's my gfs brother holding the strip of condoms in his hands giving me this horrible stare of death. My gf was behind him and she gave me the "you idiot" face... I turned all red and just said. "my sex ed teacher gave the whole class those today" (I don't even have a sex ed class but its all I could think of on the spot) I was gonna throw em out, but forgot to." He threw down the condoms and shoved around me going inside.
My gf Said "its probably best you just go go home..." She took the pizza box from my hand and took it inside.
So yea idk what's gonna happen now. Our sex lives which we've shared privately for years now has taken a turn for the worst. And I got no pizza... | ran up stairs while my girlfriends brother was behind me and condoms fell out my jacket pocket. He gave me death stare after picking them up and gf is annoyed with me. |
t3_1hjkee | running | Hit 5 miles for the first time ever tonight. Advice on where to go from here? Details in comments. | So, first of all [hell yeah] 3 months ago, I couldn't even finish a single mile.
Quick background: I have hated running my whole life, then started dating a runner a few years ago and got dragged (drug?) along with her on runs. After we broke up, I kept it up, off and on, and got to where I could go for ~3 miles. But, pretty much hated it the whole time I was doing it, but felt like ten million bucks when I finished.
Long story short, last year was one of depression and alcohol, and I snapped out of it this April 40 pounds overweight (I'm 6'7" and should weight 225), and decided that I refused to be the fat kid on the beach this summer.
So, I got to it and last Thursday, passed the 4 mile mark for the first time ever. Tonight I wanted to see if I could hit five and ended up going 5.6 in ~1 hour.
My question after that wall of text is this: would it be better to keep increasing distance, or stay around 5 miles and increase speed? I was thinking of setting a goal of knocking ten minutes off that 5.6 miles time over the next month or so, but it would also be cool to see if I could get up to ten miles. | Is it better to keep increasing distance, or go from distance to speed training (kind of like weighlifters go from bulking up to high rep toning exercises)? |
t3_4szt3m | relationships | I'm [27M] coming to realize that I might be an abusive partner to my gf [25F] | I've been with my gf for 5 years. Long story short, she moved a long distance to live with me and start a new life. She's been sheltered all of her life and I'm a more ambitious, responsible and adventurous type. She wants to become like me so she's been trusting me since the start to help her open up and be more mature.
Where the problems lie is that she has anxiety disorder and often seeks comfortable things. A lot of those things gives her bad consequences that makes her feel even more anxious. It's a vicious circle. At first I tried to be supportive but when it found that it wasn't working, I slowly started to put my foot down. Sometimes it would end in me shouting at her because I found her doing these things in secret while I'm at work.
Right now she's grown up a lot and we don't have any fights over these subjects because it rarely happens. I've calmed down as I noticed her improving. However, today she admitted to me that she's constantly in fear and that's the only thing that prevents her from falling back into bad habits. More specifically, fear of me. Fear that I would get upset and yell at her. She's petrified by the thought of it and it keeps her from doing it. She says that it causes her a huge amount of stress because she feels like she doesn't have the freedom to do what she wants, only what I want her to do.
Hearing this from her utterly destroyed me. I feel like I'm that abusive partner that someone can never leave because of conditioning and fear. All of this time I feel I was being strict for her sake but on her side she's been seeing me as a ruthless dictator. I'm so lost. | Tried to help my SO get over bad habits. Put my foot down when being nice didn't work and now she feels like I dictate her life and is constantly afraid of me |
t3_2exwo1 | relationships | My 20'sF SO 20'sM keeps adding his ex on facebook. | Didn't know whether to post on here or off my chest.
This girl has been giving us issues since we started dating, constantly obsessing over him and telling people that they're still in love with each other, even though he thinks she's gross. But after about 2 years of ignoring her, he added her on facebook. When I asked him to delete her, he did, only to add her again. He's done this about 5 times now, and I feel uncomfortable with him welcoming her into our lives like that, but even more uncomfortable that he's only deleting her temporarily. I know it's a minuscule problem, I iust need a minuscule solution. | bf adds ex on Facebook, deletes her when I ask but readds her later. What do I do? |
t3_22crj2 | relationship_advice | I [21/F] cheated on my boyfriend [31/M] of 2 years. No idea what to do. | Using a throwaway because some family and friends know my reddit username. I cheated on my boyfriend with a gut I met on Tinder about one week ago. Since meeting him, we have had sex twice. I have no romantic interest in him, but the sex was amazing.
I have an interesting relationship with my boyfriend. We met online and he only lives about an hour away (and he commutes to where I live, and where he works, 5 days a week). We have only seen one another a handful of times but when we do, it's usually for a few days. It took him almost a year into our relationship to kiss me and we have still yet to say "I love you" to each other. I don't even think I love him yet, but I do strongly care for him. We have only had sex two or three times and it wasn't even that great, as he is fairly small. The sex I had with random Tinder guy was amazing compared to that.
I'm just conflicted and don't know what to do. Do I tell him? Keep it a secret? Break up with him? I'm new to relationships and have only had one abusive one before this, so a "normal" relationship is something I've never experienced. | Cheated on my boyfriend of 2 years, that I don't love yet, with a guy I met on Tinder. |
t3_qu9rm | AskReddit | Have you ever had a dream that you confused as a memory, that later made you look like a idiot? | When I was around 8 or 9, i had a dream that I jumped over a handrail at a local grocery store near my house. It was one of those dreams that made you feel like a real bad ass because I pulled it off so smoothly.
Well 8 year old me confused it as a memory and sure enough, one day my mom and I are leaving this store and I utter the famous last words, "Hey Mom, watch this." She has to watch her son run up to a hand rail and fail miserably to jump it. I mean I didn't try to take it like a hurdle on the Olympics, I sort of ran at it and then turn at the last second and sort of take it like a high jump. Did I mention that the rail is around chest high?
I hit the rail with the back of my legs. Naturally the first thing that hits the ground is the back of my head. I roll over to my hands and knees and craw a few feet and the stagger to my feet and walk to my mom's car, blood running down the back of my neck and all. I started crying and felt like a real jackass. My mom is one of those mothers that doesn't really know what to do in those kind of situations, so she is freaking out and calls my step dad and asked if I need to go to the hospital. Turns out the blood is coming from a knot on my head with a tiny cut on it so it was no big deal.
I still cringe when I think about how I miserably failed at looking cool all because I could separate a dream from a memory. And you better believe that this is a regular joke in my family, normally starting with "hey mom, watch this." | Dream mislead me to believe I could jump over a hand rail. Smacked my head on the ground and now its a big joke in my family. |
t3_24hz2v | relationships | My [25f] girlfriend [26f] still texts her ex [?F] and I cant seem to get over it | The reason I have such a problem with it is because before they got together my girlfriend was in love with her for about 8 years, and then they were together for two years and they broke up because my girlfriend took the blame for something her ex did and went to jail for two years and now owes the state $30 000.
I can understand doing something stupid for someone you love and shes told me that she feels like an idiot for it and she has moved on from the love she had for her ex. But her ex texts her whenever she is upset or worried about something and my girlfriend talks to her about it. Her ex is now engaged to a man and ive said to my girlfriend "it is NOT up to you to make her feel better about anything in her life, she fucked you over and let you take the blame for something she did if she is upset tell her to talk to her fucking fiancé about it"
She has said "you have nothing to worry about I just miss the friendship we had before all the shit went down so I dont mind talking to her every now and then"
But I just dont understand why she would want to talk to someone who did that? And her ex lied about having cancer and said she was dying which is why my gf took the blame for the robbery.
Ive tried to turn it around and ive said "you hated it so much when my ex texted me that I completely stopped talking to her because I knew it made you uncomfortable but you dont seem to care about my feelings about your ex"
But she says my ex is different because we were engaged and after we broke up she would ring me for 1.5 years afterwards ranging from abusing me to crying about how much she loves me and made a mistake and how we could fix things etc.
I think its pretty much the exact same issue either way. So why does she just expect me to get over it and not care? | current girlfriend of 7 months comforts her ex when her ex is upset, gets annoyed at me for texting my ex so I ended the friendship but she wont end it with her ex who she took the blame for a robbery for. |
t3_ebgz5 | AskReddit | Help Save My Building Reddit! Any info is appreciated | I live in a historic apartment building in Seattle's First Hill neighborhood. The building was built in 1910's and has retained all of the original cabinetry and bare bones. The apartment is beautiful and affordable. So much sought after is this building that families and couples have lived here without intent of buying for over 20 years.
Recently the owner has sold to soulless corporate investment firm that plans on:
1) Raising rent by 100%-150%
2) Gutting original plumbing (which works fine) and adding in dishwashers (which if you are worth your salt as a human being do not need) and basically plan on douchifying each space.
3) kicking out current tenants to make room for wealthier tenants.
All of the tenants are devastated by this news as some of the people living here have been around over 10 years. People living here know how lucky they are to live in such a sought after building and pay such affordable rental rates considering location/space.
I was thinking of what I could do in the way of registering the building as a historic site (built in 1915) in order to keep corporate from ruining it's integrity, and also how I could keep the new owners from raising rent and ruining a great community of renters that have loved their living space and now feel like rug was pulled from under them... | Corporate company bought affordable, well-maintained, historic building. Plan to tear out original spaces and double rents. Any info on what to do? |
t3_4w129m | offmychest | When your WTB still doesn't understand you! | Me (M40) and SO (F41) are now again in an argument about friends or ex- BF's.
She has a couple of exes that she talks about constantly and one is even her best friend! I accepte that he is an ex and it will not change! True it took me a long time to get to the point where I got to trust the situation but I did! Me personally have more female friends than male friends! But they are just the ones that stayed and proofed to be real friends. Most male friends turned out to be no real friends! My wtb met most of them except one and is giving me a hard time about that right now! While I've been always honest about everything and also been in a lot of trouble when I had my doubts about her best friend which happens to be one of her ex boyfriends!
Am I the bad guy here?? I asked her to marry me after just 4 months being together and showing her in more than just the good way that I want to spend all my time I have in this life with her. But even when I do that she tells me I'm over reacting! I'm doing all I can for her but sometimes feel that she doesn't resize or even knows that my intentions are always with her happiness in mind!
Sorry for the long rant but needed yo get it off my chest! | Trying to do my best to make my wtb's life easier and wanting to spend the rest of my life with her but get misunderstood most times! |
t3_2g8ssj | relationships | My [19M] roommate and good friend [19M] of 5+ years isn't growing up. | We have a pretty tight friend group, and we decided to live in an apartment together for our sophomore year and beyond in college. We have all been friends since freshman year of high school, and we all used to be pretty immature. But it seems like the rest of us are growing up and he isn't.
Pretty much the only thing that comes out of his mouth are rude "jokes" towards one of us. For example, I recently paid the electric bill for our apartment, and I saw on the website that our usage was down this month and that our bill would be relatively low, so I decided to share the good news with all the roommates. His response to this was "fuckin retard". He also often makes jokes about how we have small penises (particularly in front of our girl neighbors) and makes racist jokes because he's "making fun of people who are actually racist".
I'm not upset at him because it hurts my feelings, I'm upset because those jokes just aren't funny anymore and they don't add anything to the conversation. They're just annoying and useless.
Yes, we've tried to talk to him. But he doesn't listen to us, takes it as a personal attack, and responds with more sarcastic, rude things.
Honestly, it's just getting really old and I wish he would grow up. | Roommate hasn't matured, makes rude jokes about us all the time, won't listen to us when we try to talk to him. What should we do? |
t3_3h24yh | tifu | TIFU by getting cramps in a swimming pool [NSFW] | This didn't happen today, rather a couple of months ago.
I was swimming in the swimming pool with some energy. It was quite some time that I entered a pool or did anything remotely exercise-like. So my leg muscles were pretty worn out. Suddenly, when the lap was about to finish, I got awful cramping in my right thigh, which rendered it unusable. I somehow managed to get to shallow end and stood upright in the water.
After about a couple of minutes of breathing heavily and bearing the pain, I started to rub my thigh with my right hand (both my hand and thigh were inside water) to relieve the pain somewhat.
There were a guy a girl to my left, standing upright in the water and talking to each other. They started to look weirdly towards me. I didn't bother, as at that moment they were the least of my problem. I continued rubbing and panting and it did help somewhat.
After a while, I came out of the panic mode and got my brain function back. And suddenly thought "Woah! what have I done. It must have looked like I was faping." They sure were whispering and laughing while looking towards me.
I had to act quickly. I took my leg out of the water somewhat and started exaggerated rubbing movements so that they can see my thigh as well. This I thing settled the matter. | I got cramps in my thigh, started rubbing it inside the pool while a couple watched and though I was faping. |
t3_4r3y1w | relationships | I [M20] recently developed the urge to start dating (and make new friendships) - where do I start? | I work in a basic office job which takes up a lot of my time and energy and since I've been there (2 years) my entire social life has been on hold. I wasn't ever great with girls (I was the guy best friend on so many occasions).
Recently I got the opportunity to be involved in a project with loads of people and made some friends and had a crush on someone for the first time in ages - we seemed to connect well (and I would have actually made a move if she didn't have a boyfriend). I've missed that intimacy (however little and brief).
I have stayed in contact with them via Facebook and WhatsApp but they all live so far away. I want to have more friends near me who have similar interests (the project was a theatre show). How do I go about it? I also want to start making progress in my currently non-exsistant love life... where do I begin that quest?
Also I would like to stay in touch with that girl, not because I want to be that dick who worms a wedge in their relationship... but because there was a connection and a friendship I have missed in so long. How do I go about that without being a dick or coming across a creepy stalker person...
I'm a little nervous about putting myself out there with girls.. any advice? | I am looking to make new friends with similar interests with me for the first time in a while. I would also like to start dating or seeing a girl. I don't know how to go about it? Any advice? |
t3_24holo | relationships | Me [24F] with my coworker [24 M], confused about his intentions | This is my first time posting so I'm sorry if I'm not clear or don't add enough information.
I work for a company that employs a lot of people to work out in the field as engineers as well as administrators to work in the main office. I work in the main office, and my coworker was out in the field for the past year that I have been working here. His job recently ended and he moved back to the main office for a short period of time.
We've had minimal interaction except for maybe a hi once here and there. Otherwise, no contact at all. On his second day back in the office, he emails me a work related questions to which I reply back with a normal response. He then proceeds to ask me questions to continue the conversation. The emails were a little bit flirtatious, but he's attractive so I went with it. He said he didn't know many people in the office and suggested we get lunch sometime. I thought it was a little interesting, mostly because of our lack of previous interaction, but I agreed.
Fast forward to lunch...it was pleasant and it felt a little date like. Mostly because we're discussing the normal date topics. He then casually mentions a story regarding his girlfriend. I immediately realize I misinterpreted the situation and switched to friend mode. After lunch, we said good bye and parted ways. Not even five minutes later, he texts me saying he had fun and that we should hang out again soon. He found my number through a company email. He's been texting me since then and continuing the conversation even offering to come down near my place to hang out over the weekend and take me on a motorcycle ride. I'm confused by his intentions! Not sure what he wants and if I'm reading too much into his actions.
And just to be clear, I haven't encouraged any contact etc since I found out he has a girlfriend. I've been cheated on so I am in no way interested in doing that if that's what he was looking for. | Coworker in a relationship has been texting and emailing me to eat lunch and possibly hang out. Not sure what his end game is. |
t3_39xf7u | loseit | Wanted: ways to be a better human | Hi everyone. Not sure how much of a dick this is going to make me look, but I figured it's easier to bare your soul to the internet than to somebody personally.
I'm currently trying to lose weight. I'd say about 25-30 lbs, and I'm approaching this mainly by avoiding processed foods and added sugars. I've been 'heavy' for years, but haven't really felt overweight until recently.
Anyway. Like most of us, the obstacle to my losing weight is wanting to eat more food than I need. More accurately, eating said food. And this is where the question comes in.
My co-worker is also overweight, very likely obese, and is also trying to lose weight. The problem here is that she talks about it, a lot, and all the varied different ways she's going to approach things.
I've had this mindset before – I used to be fixated on fasting, or keto, or anything else as the 'magic bullet' cure for being overweight. Although I'm aware that fasting and keto have great benefits, by fixating on them I was denying myself what I wanted, so I'd eventually binge. Hearing all this logic spouted back to me is really distracting me from my own weight loss journey – whenever the latest fad diet is brought up I feel like I have to justify to myself why I'm doing what I'm doing. Then there's the added problem when she (out of all kindness) invites me to join her in these dieting endeavours. I've repeatedly refused so far, but sometimes interesting fad diets sound more fun than what I'm doing, which is meant to be an overall lifestyle change.
Then there are the snacks and treats brought to work, the occasional binges I witness, and the 'please take these, I don't want to eat anymore' moments (which I've sadly succumbed to a few times).
While I'm priority #1, I also worry for my co-worker's health, and she has (jokingly/half-jokingly?) asked me before how quickly she could lose weight if she induced vomiting while she fasted. | I need advice on how to handle a co-worker who's an obstacle to weight loss. Preferably by helping her as well as helping myself. |
t3_2184ka | AskReddit | Any tips/shortcuts for a guy moving out for the first time? | Hi guys, What tips or shortcuts advice would you give to a guy moving out for the first time?
If interested, this is my long-ass reason for asking, I'll try to keep this short for you.
I'm a 20 year old Male university student from Australia (yes, g'day mate), looking to move out with 3 other close friends that I've been friends with for at least 6 years and (hopefully) soon after with my girlfriend (who would be moving over from Denmark for a year) in the same house (going for a spacious house). My friends are also looking at the possibility of their girlfriends/potential girlfriends living with us half or all of the time (the way we see it, it cheapens rent.), however my girlfriend is the only one who would NEED a place to stay since she would be moving over from Denmark.
Anyway, so I'm wondering if from your wide range of international knowledge, that you might have any tips for me or anyone else in a similar stage of life, being that this would be my first time moving out, and the people I'm moving out with matter to me.
I suppose the tips I'm most interested in are financial shortcuts, but I'd be blessed to hear any tips you had for me, as I surely can't foresee everything. Even if they don't necessarily apply to me, because perhaps someone else may benefit from reading this then too.
Thanks in advance guys and girls! | Moving out for the first time as a student in Australia, and i want to take advantage of the knowledge Reddit has for me. |
t3_2axisi | relationships | I (19 F) am wondering if a promiscious lifestyle would be a good choice? | (I really really want a boyfriend who understands me, loves me, is an intellectual challange, etc - BUT my standards are high, and I am not (yet?) willing to lower them, which means that I rarely come across a guy who would be good enough.
To be honest, as a relatively smart and educated woman, it is pretty hard to find someone in my league.
And when I meet someone, then there is a great chance of something else coming in the way.)
I love men. I love the way they adore women, I love their voices, their scent, their stories, the way they seduce.
So I was wondering...
I really want to sleep with them. Not just one or two.
But if I do that, my "number" will skyrocket soon, which will mean that one could call me a whore.
I would probably be less valuable for the valuable guys who would be my ultimate goal to have in the long run.
So.. what do you think?
This is the classical question about men sleeping around vs. women sleeping around and how it's seen from the outside.
Frankly, what other people think doesnt interest me. But if this drives away the man of my dreams.. then it interests me. | I want a serious long term relationship, but I have high standards. Do you think its okay to sleep around and have fun until I find that special someone? |
t3_54tfq8 | relationships | My BF [23 M] of 2 years broke up with me [23 F] two months ago but we're still basically together | We dated for two years, lived together for one. He just came home one day and told me he wanted to break up, that we didn't have a future, and he wanted a change. So I moved out and went to live with my mother (who I do not get along with). He didn't change a damn thing about his life, still living in the same place and doing the same things as before.
Yet, now we seem to talk more now than we did before. We talk nearly everyday. He calls me about once a week (he called three times when I didn't answer last night). We usually hang out about once a week, I even spend days at a time with him at his apartment. We hold hands, we make out, we buy each other things, we even call our outings dates. He even said "When I picture my life in ten years I see you there. I don't know why." We talk about what went wrong in our relationship and what's different now. He tells me he loves my thoughts and opinions on things and he loves my body. He gets upset when I do things and leave him out. And yet, we're not dating. I asked him if we were even casually dating and he said no. I asked him if we could, and he said yes, though I doubt he meant it.
I know he's talking to a few girls. He knows I've been on a date or two, and doesn't seem to care. I just don't know what to do about this situation. I, above all else, want to get back together. | My ex boyfriend and I never stopped acting like we're dating and I want to get back together. What do I do? |
t3_2qevvj | relationships | Me [28M] and my [29F] wife of 4 months are having an absolute horrible beginning to our marriage. | Before we got married, my mom totally overwhelmed and bombarded my wife during the wedding process. My wife didn't want anything big but my family insisted(forced) on a jewish wedding with at least 100 people. They steamrolled us at every turn. Now, we are in debt because of the time we couldn't work before the wedding. My wife is deathly afraid of debt because her student loans are crazy (over 150k), and her parents are horrrrrible with money. Now we are four months into our marriage and she is depressed. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night to her sobbing uncontrollably. I don't know what to do, my marriage is shit even before it began. We've been together for 6 years total by the way. | Wedding process and afterward destroyed my wife's ego and emotional health and now 4 months into my marriage I practically don't have a marriage. Basically, help. |
t3_3788v8 | relationships | My male friend is with a girl who has a boyfriend. I despise the girl for doing this and am thinking about telling her bf... advice? | My one friend has been seeing this girl that has a boyfriend for about two months now. He says she's his dream girl and every time I see him has to tell me how hot this girl is, how she's an 11/10, and how he doesn't care she has a boyfriend.
He talks about how he bangs her all the time without a condom and how she's late on her period but that he hopes that she's pregnant cause he's ready to have a kid. I was blown away.
I thought this was beyond fucked up, but I didn't want to get involved, and since I work with the guy and see him every day, I only simply said, "that's fucked up man". Truth of the matter is, I can't stand the fact that he or she is doing this to this guy I don't even know. I know what it feels like to be cheated on and it can practically trample the life out of you. So I'm thinking about anonymously facebook messaging the bf and giving him a hint.
I'm unsure if this is wise of me to do though... I don't despise the guy, he's just very misguided. What do you guys think? | One of my friends is seeing a girl who has a boyfriend and consistently having unprotected sex with her, trying to get her pregnant. I want to tell the girls boyfriend. |
t3_1k5q1h | relationships | Is my anxiety getting the best of me or is there some justification. I don't want to ruin a potential future with [21F]. I'm [23M] | I'm afraid that my anxiety issues might be messing up a relationship with a [21F] I have been talking to for a long time. I really like this girl. I'm almost 24 years old and I have never had feelings for someone like this in my entire life. I've never been in a relationship before and I'm still a virgin. She has brought a lot of happiness to my life and has ultimately changed it. I've known her for about 5 months now.
The thing is I don't know her intentions anymore. She has gone back and fourth several times with "I don't think we should see each other", to "I want to keep seeing you" and from "I don't want to date you and take your virginity" to a week later with "I don't want to lose you I want to keep dating you.
This is all because she is afraid of getting hurt in a relationship, as she has had poor break ups in the past. I understand this, but I don't know how to ease her fears and I don't want her to have to worry.
But because of this it has been driving me insane. I do have anxiety issues and I do worry excessively, so all of this back and forth stuff has been frustrating. Frustrating to the point where we are making things difficult for one another. I want this to work but I feel like I am afraid too now, because I don't know where this is going to go. | My anxiety and worrying might ruin a potential relationship because of a girl who has gone back and forth with wanting to be with me because she is afraid of getting hurt again like past relationships. |
t3_53dq32 | relationships | Me (25F) with my potential date (25M), not sure how to respond to his latest message? Is it red-flagish or just nerves? | So I've been talking to "Zach" for two weeks on okCupid. We had a date lined up last week, but I came down with strep the day before and was on quarantine with my antibiotics the day of. He's out of town this weekend for a friend's birthday so we tentatively rescheduled for this coming week, no confirmed plan yet.
Friday, he texted me asking if he could call me that night cause he prefers talking on the phone over texting. I said I do as well but was busy that night, he could call me the next day around 8. Saturday came and went - no call. Figured he got busy being out of town and all so didn't give it too much thought.
He texted me this morning, answering a question from my last text Friday (we didn't talk at all yesterday) and asking how my weekend was. I didn't see those messages until an hour later when he texted again, apologizing for not calling last night cause he wasn't sure if I wanted him to or not.
Not really sure where to proceed from there. First off, is the call thing weird? I've never talked to an online date on the phone before the first date, but honestly don't have a preference one way or another. Is it red-flagish that he didn't call after asking to, and then showed his nervousness? Or is that a good sign that he was honest? How do I respond to him now?
Honestly I'm just so burned out on dating right now that I'm having a hard time trusting my own judgment anymore.
Any insight welcome! | New guy said he would call, didn't, then texted apologizing for not calling cause he wasn't sure if I wanted him to or not. Nerves or something else? How do I respond? |
t3_3q0z6b | relationships | [21/m] Struggling to be happy around my girlfriend [19/f] of 9 months. Had a talk yesterday and are continuing tonight. In need of guidance | We had our second talk last night where she says she's feeling inadequate for me. I've been in a weird mood the past weeks where I'm struggling to be happy and she can obviously notice. We spend pretty much all the time together so I don't know if my mood is generally dampened or if we're just not a good mix anymore. I keep wondering if I would have more fun without her and if there's someone better out there for me. On the flipside, she's a great and unique person, and I'm afraid of tossing a 9 months old relationship out the window causing me to regret it. This is for the both of us the first serious relationship we have.
She's a lovely person that it's difficult not to like. We do however have some differences that's at times difficult. Our personalities and backgrounds are very different (we're from different sides of the world).
After having been poked at for some time in trying to figuring out what's wrong, I ended up saying that I'm not sure if I love her anymore. I know this was a turning point and she's asking me to figure it out quickly. We're spending the day apart and we're meeting tonight. I'm struggling to figure out what to do and how to think about it.
I want a girlfriend that understands me and makes me happy, and she deserves someone that fully appreciates her. That speaks to breaking up. However, I'm currently not even understanding myself and don't know why I'm so passive even when we do otherwise fun stuff. We've had a mostly great relationship so far and I'm afraid of losing something good. We've met each others families and we've previously envisioned a future together. | My mood hasn't been the best recently – I'm wondering if it's the relationship that is the issue, and my girlfriend is feeling inadequate (leaving me feeling selfish/worse). How can I tackle these issues? |
t3_1is5so | relationships | I [27F] converted to my financé's [29M] religion for personal reasons. Now he is telling me he's upset with how religious I've become. Help? Want to make this work. Together 8 years and wedding in 3 months. | Hello.
Very happy, healthy and so forth. Nothing wrong except his complaints about my dress. [I cover my hair and body in dresses and scarves.] Today I point blank ask him to let it go and why does it upset you so much. He told me because it's a physical sympol of how religious I've become which he dislikes. He would rather I be less religiois apparently.
I don't know what the compromise is. He offered to buy me clothing that looks more modern and I agreed. But long term? What he said hurt a lot.
I converted three years ago to Islam. He was born into the faith.
I should add we already don't go to the masjid together. We already do not pray together. The only thing we do together is fast and celebrate the eid holidays. No kids involved since he had sugery and I'm very child free even before we met like ten years ago. | Fiancé upset about me being too religious. Not sure where to compromise. Would like long term advice. Thanks. |
t3_3lshy6 | relationships | Update: Me [28 M] with my [27F] fiancee, ex of mine [27 f] called off her wedding because she regrets breaking up | On mobile, so sorry for crappy formatting.
Original:
Thank you for the tough-love advice.
I did come off as an asshole who didnt deserve shit. Idiotic and narcissistic
I was emotional in my first post, angry at the ex because it turned out he hit her and she stayed. I was worried and mad.
The ex has been calling, leaving messages, texting, hinting about wanting to reignite something. (Hell No!!)
I told her the past is over, the boat sailed when she pushed me to leave her at a family reunion in chicago.
She wants to be friends, but i said it's impossible and especially disrespectful to my fiancee.
I have decided to let the past be. Ive blocked the ex from my phone and all social media. Ex will have a place in my heart, so many firsts. After all, she was a huge part in me finding my fiancee, ill think of her time to time and hope she is well.
My fiancee is everything i ever wanted, everything about her is just so.... Perfect. | left the past in the past. Stuff ends, feel bad for ex but i aint a rebound dick for her. Life doesnt have time for "what if". |
t3_g8kpw | AskReddit | Reddit, I want to edit your resumes and help you get more interviews. Help me help you. | Ive decided to start a website which will serve as a meeting place for anonymous Applicants as well as anonymous Hiring Managers from as many sectors as possible, in hopes that Applicants will post their resumes here and we, the hiring managers, can help the Applicants with their resumes so that they can get more interviews and hopefully more jobs.
At first I wanted to make this a free service, but a friend of mine brought up a good point: By charging a symbolic fee of $3, you will filter out folks who may potentially not take this as seriously-which is necessary if Im going to invest all of this time into their resumes. Plus, I would be able to donate the profit towards a good cause. In order to qualify for this service, one would simply send in their resume (and pay the fee if there was one)
What do you guys think about
1) Whether or not the idea-would this be useful to you?
2) The symbolic charge of $3, should I charge more or less? This would only happen a few months into the service so that I could prove that this is not a scam and show before and after resumes along with testimonials.
3) Any other suggestions about this service
Reddit, this is FOR YOU, so help me customize this service so that everybody will benefit from it as much as possible.
This website will solve two major problems in the job market:
1) Resumes will more accurately depict the Applicant which they represent
2) Hiring managers such as myself will have more qualified Applicants (right now I interview about 1% of all Applicants, which stinks!)
If you are for this idea, feel free to upvote so that it will get more overall exposure and I can get more suggestions so that the service will be the best it can be. | I want to help people send out better resumes. read this posting to find out how you can help me to provide a better service |
t3_uhxu6 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's something you didn't do that everyone around you considers a missed opportunity, but you don't? | I'll start. There was a girl - we'll call her Barbara - that a couple of my friends knew. For future reference, it should be noted that this girl really considered herself a "free spirit" or a hippy.
Anyways, all of my friends that knew her said this girl was great, and I was coming off a break-up, so I decided I'd talk to her and see what happens. I looked her up on Facebook and proceeded to post funny pictures on her comments and things like that, and then numbers were exchanged. Within two days, she was calling me perfect and asking to see me, so of course, I asked her out to see a movie. Date night, I hopped out of the shower and danced to Hall and Oates while I was getting dressed; I was ecstatic. Smart, funny, gorgeous-looking girl who was super into me? How could there be any semblance of a bad side to this?
Then, I arrived at the movie theater. To start off, she was with two older friends because her parents didn't trust her. She was 18. I didn't think it was too weird, but I thought it would significantly awkward things up. It did.
Then, I started walking towards her to introduce myself and give her a hug. As I was approaching, she smiled at me, and that's when the second red flag was raised. Teeth, yellower than even the most concentrated cheddar cheese revealed themselves to me, and I had to use all the self-restraint in the world not to cringe. I looked down at her thighs and saw... well, fuzz is putting it lightly. I'd later find out that she brushed her teeth twice a week and shaved every couple of months. A true "hippy" if there ever was one.
After listening to her argue with her drunken mother, crying, I left about an hour after I came. I gradually stopped talking to her until she got the hint, and I still get crap for it, which baffles me. Everyone thinks she's gorgeous because most of my friends have apparently only seen her through Facebook. It's infuriating. | Don't initiate a relationship with a girl you've only seen through Facebook, especially if that girl harnesses mad Photoshop skills. |
t3_48sstw | relationships | I (17M) need some advice about a girl (16F) | For the past couple of weeks I've been talking to this girl that I like, and at some point I told her that I like her but she said she likes someones else. However she thinks that that person doesn't like her because he is kind of cold when they talk. We actually get along pretty good (or I figured because a couple of days ago she told me a secret that not even her best friend knew). I get that she likes someone else atm and I don't wanna pressure her even more, but I don't want to give up on it yet, because I feel like there could be something here if it actually turns out to be true and the guy doesn't like her. But the problem is, I asked her if she wants to meet for coffee or something (just as friends) when she first told me that the guy isn't into her because she seemed quite sad and I thought that it could get her mind off of it, but she said that she will tell me when she is ready for that. So I have no idea what to do next because as I said I won't give up on it yet, so I just need some advice on how to proceed about it. | I like this girl, she likes another guy that isn't into her. Don't know what to do, need some help. |
t3_3ff9pd | weddingplanning | Got ourselves into a pickle. Hotel block dilemma... | We're getting married in a college town with a popular football program so when we first started narrowing down dates for the wedding we avoided all home game weekends. However, eventually for a variety of reasons we ended up scheduling the wedding on the day of a non-conference home game. Our big concern with doing this was that we'd heard it was near impossible to get hotel blocks on those weekends. We talked to a few hotels before moving forward and found a couple that were willing to do blocks but said we'd have to wait until a closer to the wedding to sign contracts. It sounded like we could make it work so we went for it.
Now I'm starting to contact those hotels again and they're still willing to do blocks but the prices are much higher than we anticipated and obviously I don't have much power to negotiate here because the hotels know they'll be able to book rooms given the football game that weekend. I'm definitely kicking myself for thinking the football weekend wedding would work out but what's done is done. The date is booked, deposits are down. I'm looking into getting a shuttle set up from hotels further out from the city proper that'll potentially be a little more modestly priced so I haven't written off all hope.
Ultimately the question I'm hoping some of you lovely people will weight in on is, if I can't secure a block at a price I think my guests would be comfortable with ($150-175 range), should I contract for the expensive block (quoted 1 bed $219-259, 2 bed $239-289, suites $309-319) or just recommend that guests book early anywhere they can find at a reasonable price? | What is the lesser of two evils? Book a hotel block that is too expensive for some of my guests to afford or not book a block at all and just let them fend for themselves? |
t3_voz21 | AskReddit | I'm single, she's married. I love her, and I think she loves me. | What do I do?
The story: I was working a warehouse job and 19 at the time, she was a new hire and I knew nothing about her other than she was the cutest white girl I've ever seen (I'm brown). We didn't work in the same department but we talked a little here and there, I noticed there was no ring on her finger so I figured I'd try. Sometime later when I realized she was indeed married I tried to leave things alone but I still kind of had a crush on her. (un)fortunately my job required me to change departments and thus change facilities. I never got her number but I had her on facebook, but there was zero communication after I left. I'm 22 now and I recently put in a request to be transferred back. My first day back her eyes lit up when she saw me and she gave me the biggest hug. I asked what she was doing for lunch and our first date was set. Several lunch dates later, I knew I was in love with her, shes the girl of my dreams. One day we both had to work late so I offered to take her home so her husband wouldn't have to drive all the way out to pick her up. On the way home she expressed her feeling for me and we were both relieved to find out we felt the same way, yet still confused as to what to do with this new found information. Her husband is the opposite of her, no fun, lazy, boring, hates the outdoors. She regrets marrying him and she doesn't know what to do because shes not from around here and all her family lives in another state. She had talked about divorce but she doesn't have the time or resources for that, she is very unhappy and it kills me to see her like that. I would marry this girl in a heartbeat, and she feels the same way. What should I do? | I fell in love with an unhappily,married woman and she fell in love with me. What do I do? |
t3_1466d5 | relationships | LDR SO[23M] and I [F21] Currently on a break to think over changes to make in our relationship, but will the changes be enough? | I've [21] been dating my SO [23] for about 3.5 months. Things overall have been great. We are currently at a bit of a distance (about three hours) and while it's hard, it hasn't really made me doubt our relationship. But the story's a little different to my SO.
Last night he suggested we take this next week to go on a break and think about our relationship. I was actually pretty surprised by this. I felt that everything was fine but he has felt this way for a few weeks now. He tells me that the distance is getting to him and basically that he'd like me to be a bit more independent. Ironically, next semester I will have much more free time to visit him and the independence thing is something I've been meaning to work on. Sweet, right?
But then comes the kicker. He can no longer admit that he loves me. This really floored me because he had been the first one to bring up genuinely wanted to be with me well into the future, always telling me how much he loves me every day, always encouraging me that our relationship would be fine. We'll be talking this weekend to decide if this is temporary or permanent. He's made it very clear that it's still something he's thinking on, that his mind isn't made up either way. (So there's hope!)
So my question is if I can make these changes (that I personally do agree with myself) will it be enough for him to fall in love with me again or want to continue working on our relationship? Or is he just trying to let me down slow and easy? | LDR (3hrs) SO wants a break to make changes. Can't admit he loves me anymore. Hoping that making appropriate changes will be enough for him to love me again. |
t3_10ulx3 | AskReddit | Anytime a person speaks to me, no matter how clear they speak or how well I understand it, I always have to respond with 'what?' or 'huh?'; I'm curious as to whether or not this is actually a mental condition. | Even if understood perfectly and I have already processed the thought, my brain doesn't seem to understand that I understood the question. I would like to know if anybody can make any sense of this at all. It's like I use the words 'what' and 'huh' as placeholders while I think of a logical response to whatever I was told. I do it subconsciously and most of the time I will actually register the question and answer it or respond to the statement after saying "What?" before the person I am conversing with even has time to begin repeating whatever they've told me. | Is there a mental disorder, or any kind of disorder, that causes me to subconsciously say "What?" after somebody has told/asked me something even if I registered exactly what they said perfectly? |
t3_uwpuf | relationships | Am I being unfair? | Recently, my LDR (23f)gf of 1yr has been going to clubs and bars a lot more. While she has always done this before, it has picked up in frequency because she's made some new friends who party often. Does it make me a possessive dick if I (26m) bring this up and tell her that I don't enjoy it? I've talked to her and now she's given me the silent treatment so I feel like I've done something wrong.
I love her and she's free to do what she wants to do. I'd simply rather not be with a girl who goes out to drink all the time. It's just not my thing and I'm not comfortable with it. That was what I told her more or less. | GF started clubbing a lot more and is touchy when she drinks. Does it make me a possessive dick for telling my gf that I don't like it when she goes to clubs/bars? |
t3_1i3mfi | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your relationship like with your parents? | I'm curious to see how others get along with their parents. From the time I was 18, I've spent a majority of time not on speaking terms with my mother. We reconnected about 2 years ago and things were fine at first but have gradually gotten worse. She seems resentful of my spending time with my own family (son, 6 and boyfriend) more so than visiting her like I did when my BF and I were in a LDR. She is also the kind of person that won't tell you if there's a problem, she just lets it stew. I never had a relationship with my real father and my now step-dad's brain is an extension of my mom's. I try to not let their comments or attitudes bother me, but they make me feel like living my own life is wrong! They also don't call, text, or visit my home on their own, ever! We ask them over for dinner sometimes and invite them to go places with us but it never seems to be enough. I've talked with her about this before and she'll say she gets upset that I don't visit except for her to watch my son occasionally. This isn't true as we see them at least once a month for a visit or holiday and rarely ask them to babysit yet they always ask and are up for it. Anyone else have passive parents that won't speak their minds? How do you deal? | I have a rocky relationship with my mom and always have, obviously too much info for an original post. Just wondering how others handle their difficult parents or how those who have a wonderful relationship nurture it. |
t3_x5o7v | relationships | Should I [21F] feel insecure about certain images on my [24M] partner's computer? | My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months. Things between us are going really well, and we try to be very open and honest with each other. I'm a very sex-positive, porn-approving sort of lady, he knows this, and has openly shown me his porn folder several times. Most of these images don't bother me at all, and can get me excited, but he also has a pretty extensive selection in this folder of non-nude pictures of his cute female friends. He has a couple of me, but has 20+ pictures of this girl who I'm fairly sure he used to see, and also some of MY friends that he's friended on facebook. I'm not the thought-police, I don't want to dictate what my boyfriend can and can't jerk off to, but there's something about having saved pictures of people he and I are familiar with that makes me feel bad. I want to be open about it, and let him know how it makes me feel, but I don't want to come off as controlling or like I'm shaming him. I'm probably thinking about it too much, and making myself feel worse than is necessary. So I'm asking you, should I try to deal with my insecurity on my own without making a deal out of it, or should I tell my partner how I feel? | Boyfriend has lots of non-nude pictures of cute female friends/past partners in porn folder, and it makes me feel crappy. Should I say something, or should I deal with it on my own? |
t3_4ixxxw | relationships | Unsure about relationship status... [19yo m&f] | So, for the past 6 months or so, I've been seeing this girl.
School just ended, and I've moved back and stuff, but not everything seems settled. So, both I and this girl don't have previous relationship experience (in other words, neither of us has ever had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend).
We have a really close sense of humor, and I feel like we connect well on a personal level too. We just have different interests, like she likes to smoke more than I do, she likes concerts, and I skate.
Our friendship started near the end of the first semester, although I knew she liked me for a while before, I never really acted on it. She said she really liked me and thought I was cool, in which I reciprocated. After winter break we hung out more, studied together a lot of nights, smoked together sometimes, and went to parties together, and near the end of the school year we slept together every couple nights or so, had intimate relations, etc. And it's weird because *we never called each other boyfriend or girlfriend.*
But sometimes she'd ignore my texts & didn't seem enthusiastic about hanging out, in which I'd do the same to her... And it kind of made an almost "competitive" dating environment idk haha.
When we moved out, we hugged, kissed, and said we'd miss each other, and she told me to visit.. and It's only been a week and I kinda miss her, and I wanna call her but I'm not sure if that would be cool you know? What should I make of our relationship? Should I pursue her or wait till next semester? | Ongoing intimate relationship with girl, not sure if I should pursue it as a sort of mid/long distance relationship over the summer. |
t3_osnnh | offmychest | It's sort of hard to put into words | I don't really know how to say it. I feel a sort of indifference about people around me. I wish I knew why. Like that way people feel about animals, where they want to help them because they seem helpless on their own? That's how I feel about other people. I feel too outside others? I don't know how to put it to words.
I have a boyfriend, we've been together for a while but I don't feel much of anything half the time. He gets upset about something and I don't understand. I stare for a while and I can only think "It's been 10 minutes. How are you not over this? I am." Emotions exhaust me. I don't know if that means I'm broken or something. Am I? When I do feel, it's explosive. Anger or sadness. Those are easiest. I can't pinpoint happiness just Sad, Angry, and Null. Nothing. I hope I'm not alone in this.
I have no friends of my own. I wish I did but I quickly become sick of their problems. I don't mind helping strangers though. I can spend hours talk with people online I don't know. When I'm out with my boyfriend, well, he has a lot of friends. The life-long type. I'm usually doing what I'm doing now, sitting on the internet instead. I have no interest in talking with any of them.
sorry for the wall of text. | version: I'm apathetic to others, emotions exhaust and confuse me, I only notice Anger, Sadness, and Nothingness. Am I broken? |
t3_150w6d | AskReddit | A humble observation, and with absolutely no judgement. Is the Hobbit Zionist propaganda? | Hear me out. The Dwarves, ousted by an evil force, have wondered the realm, and now are attempting to retake their homeland. This evil force needs to be quelled in order to prevent it from being an ally to a greater rising evil that was defeated almost ~600 years ago (Crusades?). Now, the different races of Middle Earth are all chipping in to help this group of Dwarves get back their mountain. All being given 'credibility' by Gandalf (whom I believe could symbolize the U.S. Gov't), who is drawing his courage from the Hobbits (Either the U.S. people, or Jewish American populous). Elves/'Man' represent the hesitantly involved European/Scandinavian countries. Orcs/Goblins/Trolls and the ancient evil all serve the roll of the 'rising' Middle East; mostly portrayed as wasteland/barrens inhabiting peoples, representing a once great empire... Am I reading too much into this? I just can't help but see some of the parallels.
I'm neither historian nor religioso, this just struck me as odd. | The Hobbit: Dwarves are Jews, Orcs are Islam, Smaug is the Palistinian people, Gandalf is U.S. Gov't, Hobbits are U.S. people, Elves are Europe? Discuss. |
t3_1pxbgx | relationships | I [16M] am dating someone 2 years younger than me [14F] and the age difference is starting to become a problem. | So this girl and I have been dating ever since homecoming and we are getting along really well. She is just so perfect, my heart starts to race when I see her and I forget about everything else when I'm with her.
But her parents are being really overprotective. She said this is because of a stupid mistake she made with her ex. She keeps beating herself up over it and saying this is all her fault and I tell her otherwise but I don't think I am that convincing... They aren't going to let us go on dates (I think dances are okay though, even though her mom tried to tag along at homecoming) or even hang out at all outside of school until she is 16.
Please help I don't know what to think of all of this. I really like her and I really want to make things work but it seems like there is a lot working against us. | The age difference and my gf's history makes her parents not trust her and won't let us hang out after school or go on any dates. |
t3_2xn85v | relationship_advice | [22 f]In an LDR, and I love him so much. [28 M] | So as the title states, I am in an LDR, and I love him so so much, more than anyone I've ever been with.
I want advice on how to open up and show him how much I love him, since I'm not the best at expressing fondness and love. I've had a lot of bad past relationships that have really made me distrust people. I feel like I'm not putting in as much as I should into the relationship because he's always saying sweet, beautiful things like "i love you, you mean the world to me" and "I've never met a more beautiful woman than you", and I just sit there like an idiot not knowing what to say or how to express myself >_>
How can I be more emotionally open and trusting towards him? | LDR boyfriend visiting me in two weeks, and I'd like to be able to open up emotionally to him while he's here. |
t3_2ydycw | dating_advice | Not 100% sure how she[20F] feels about me [20M]... | we have been on a couple dates so far and things tend to go well. However, I haven't initiated anything too romantic like hold her hand or kiss her. Just the occasional hand on her lower back when guiding her through doorways and stuff. We have a another date coming up soon and hopefully I plan to maybe make it a bit more intimate, my question is how?
She says she has a good time and at the end of dates she's usually wanting to go for another one but I guess that's a good sign. Another slight thing that bothers me is the timing of her texts. It's usually a couple hours, it might just be me being slightly paranoid but I guess she's genuinely busy. But so far, she has not sent the first text. It's usually me. | how can I be more affectionate with a girl who I am not 100% sure likes me, and am I just blowing it out of proportion in my head if she doesn't send the first texts? |
t3_340n74 | tifu | TIFU by watching the "wrong" version of Pulp Fiction [Spoilers] | SPOILERS
Ok so it wasn't literally today but a while ago, after much pressure, I finally got round to attempting to watch Pulp Fiction for the very first time (I know, I know).
So I download it and start watching.
It ends. Yeh, it was quite good. Nothing special like I have been led to believe.
So i challenge my work-mate, "why do you think Pulp Fiction was so great?"
"Just, very clever and deceiving with the different storylines and how the film is chopped up in the wrong order."
*I feel stupid at this point*
"How can you tell that it is in the wrong order? Everything seemed linear to me."
"because of this and that, this and that...."
After a good 10 minutes of misunderstanding and confusion, I come to the conclusion that maybe we have seen a different version. Sure enough, he brings in the DVD and I compare with my download. | I had never seen Pulp Fiction. I downloaded the "linear version" where all the story is cut in how it would appear in real life, not Tarantino's chopped version. Ruined. |
t3_ufhl3 | relationships | I love my GF truly, but I am having jealousy problems, for another girl I'm attracted to. | Currently I'm in a LDR I am 18 and she is 17. After 2 months I see her for a week and after 4 I see her for 2 months. We've been dating for 6 months end of this month.
I love her, I have already told her that and she replied with the same. Tris was the last time I saw her 2 months ago.
Now during the 2 months I haven't seen her I have become attracted to a friend of mine, which is naturally, you can be in love with someone but be attracted to someone else, it's a natural biological function. So I found out this girl likes me, and she knows I have a GF, this was a month ago. I'm pretty sure she's over me now and put me in the friendzone, which is good.
Anyway I am attracted to her and will never go for her as long as my GF is in the picture, don't want to ruin my relationship.
Now I have a bad jealousy, but I haven't felt it in years since I haven't been that attracted someone in a while, I felt it last night though. I was out with friends and she was part of the group. We met some friends who we know and these two guys were going after her like crazy, and she was all over them and they were all over her (she was pretty drunk, she's not like this naturally). She was over other guys, licking the guys who were after her and letting people touch her ass. At the end of the night she didn't hook up with anyone, but that's besides the point. THe whole time I had bad jealousy I just wanted her and them to stop and it also made me deeply miss my GF. I tried to make her stop at first, I just told her it's time she calms down (jealousy talking) she didn't so I left her alone and let her do her thing, but I was still very jealous.
This was the first time I was out and she was with me, so I don't know if this is how she normally acts when drunk. If it is then I really need to get my jealousy problems in check. Any tips or help that can make me control my jealousy? | Love my GF, but am attracted to someone else, will never go for her but get badly jealous when other girl is with other guys, I need to fix this. |
t3_1vyjoy | tifu | TIFU by singing Joe Cocker songs at the top of my lungs in the shower. | So, I'm sure some of you remember this song from [The Wonder Years] More recently, most of you who have seen the movie *Flight* with Denzel Washington remember [this one](
Anyway, I'm moving to a new place in a few days, so the owners of my unit are showing it to prospective buyers.
The realtor handling the sale was supposed to come by my place between 9 and 10 a.m., but in my experience they never show up on time. So I wake up late, around 8:55 and get in the shower.
I have nothing to do today so I take my time. I'm in there for about 20 minutes, and I even grab a beer out of the refrigerator because why not. And then I proceed to belt out both of the songs I linked to in the first paragraph, in Joe Cocker's idiosyncratic fashion.
Around 9:15 after I get out of the shower, and I see a message on my phone from the realtor. Apparently they came by, while I was in the shower, they're gonna come back later because they didn't want to bother me while I was home.
I feel so embarrassed. At least they didn't catch me jerking off. | Was singing my ass off in the shower when a realtor came into my condo to show the place to prospective buyers. |
t3_3gajbd | relationships | I [24 M] am a massive extrovert. I've moved to a new city where I haven't made any real connections. Today, out of nowhere I just got crushed by this loneliness on my chest all of a sudden. Like I could physically feel it. Any suggestions? | Okay, so a quick run down. I'm new in Toronto. Been here since January. I've made a lot of "friends" people who I enjoy spending time with when I can, and they seem to enjoy my company when we're around. I don't put "friends" in quotes because they're bad people or anything like that. The opposite. The folks I'm referring too are great!
But I never get invited out anywhere, and whenever I invite anyone they're often busy. The only time I get any real connection with folks is for dates. I'm really really good with gals.
But I've never really met anyone who wants to see me regularly, who seems to want more than something physical with me. And I can't stand anymore fwb situations.
I'm intelligent, I'm friendly, I go out of my way to help people whenever I can, and like I say. People seem to love having me around. But clearly there is something awful about me that no one will tell me about so I can fix it.
This one girl, who has been my best friend since I moved here, she couldn't even make time for me three weeks ago when my grandfather died. The only person who did was a gal I've been seeing, but I've only gotten like two texts from her since then. | People don't ever seem to want to spend time with me or ever think about me, and it's been eight months. I'm alone in this city and it's crushing me. |
t3_2i29f2 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my (now ex-) girlfriend [27 F] of over seven years - we broke up and I have a ring she never saw. | Hey guys,
My girlfriend of 7 and 1/2 years recently broke up. After months of trying to talk it through and resolve the situation, she was having none of it, and decided there were too many problems for her.
I bought a ring 6 months ago. This ring, although originally intended to be for her, has not been seen by anyone but myself (and my friend who was there to help me decide). To me, this ring is unscathed and is still, for all intents and purposes, for the girl that I will some day love and want to marry.
My question is: would it be wrong to keep this ring and give it to my next love? The jeweler doesn't accept refunds in this case and has told me to keep it in a safety deposit box (since diamond prices are either constant or increasing over time). What I have been considering also is to get a different band in the future, but keep the diamond the same. What do you guys think? | Bought a ring for a now ex-girlfriend. She never saw it. I never proposed. Is it wrong to save it for my future wife? |
t3_2p4rh9 | tifu | TIFU by using a pic from /r/Offensive_Wallpapers as a Facebook cover page. | Actually it was about a year ago. I'm sitting at my desk working and my boss comes over and asks me to come with him. He won't tell me why. We go to HR, and sit in an office and this woman from HR and the head of security come in. They slide a piece of paper over to me and it's a screenshot of my Facebook profile. My page is completely private, they can't see anything except my cover image and profile photo. Well, my cover image was a nice forest landscape. With the words KILL EVERYONE on it from /r/Offensive_Wallpapers. (I can't find the image now)
They are concerned about me. I explain that it's just dark humor.. I found it online and thought it was kind of ironic or something because it's a nice landscape and it's got KILL EVERYONE on it and I have a dark sense of humor. They don't understand. At all. They want me to leave work immediately and go home while they 'investigate'. They wouldn't tell me what that meant. I don't know if they searched my work computer or checked my background again or called the FBI or what. The head of security walks me to my car. It's a long, awkward walk. It's a big building with a large parking lot. It takes me about five minutes to get to my car. I try to assure him I'm not crazy I'm not going to shoot up the workplace or anything, there's no reason to be concerned. He says they'll call me. I immediately changed the image when I got home. This was a Monday I think. I don't get a call until Friday that I can come back in Monday. Phew. There were no repercussions. Free week off work I guess. | used an /r/Offensive_Wallpapers image as a Facebook cover photo and got escorted out of work by security and almost lost my job. |
t3_j0vbk | AskReddit | Need some help with applicant etiquette. Reddit please I need your assistance. | Here is some back story on the situation at hand. I applied for a diesel mechanic job for a unionized rail road. My application was accepted and I was invited for an interview / drug test / written test / per-orientation meeting last Tuesday. By coincidence an ex-coworker of mine was also present. There were 7 other people there. They were only looking to fill 3 positions.
I felt things went really well. I passed the written test. My answers during the interview were short and to the point. At the end of the session the HR rep told us she would be contacting us via email within a week wither we got the job or not.
Well, it's been a week and I haven't heard back from them. I called my ex-coworker and he told me he got his rejection email yesterday morning. He also told me they were asking about me during his interview. So I'm thinking this maybe a good thing (well not for my friend :( ). But I am at a three way cross roads. This is where you come in Reddit, what should I do? I am thinking my options are
1. Dress professionally and go down to the HR department and talk to her in person.
2. Send her an email.
3. Call her on the phone.
4. Do nothing. (The suspense so far has been killing me.)
This job would be the best position I have ever held. Working for the union, with a good salary, benefits, retirement plan, the works. This is the best job offered in the town / area I live in. So as you can tell, this is very important to me and I don't want to mess it up.
I have been viciously checking my email, spam box included. Also she was very very insistent that we would be contacted within a week.
Thank you for any input you can offer :) | Had an interview for a good job, HR rep said she would contact us in a week / pass or fail. Haven't heard anything yet, wondering what I should do. |
t3_4avpnz | relationships | I [27/f] feel like my partner [27/m] is making a mistake regarding his possible employment | My partner has recently been looking for work and put his application in at a staffing agency. They initially called and put him on a job very near us, but the job fell through. Since then he hasn't been looking and has pretty much relied solely on this one agency calling him back.
He finally received a call from them today about a job. He confirmed with them he would do the job without asking where the job would be, which it turns out, is over 30 miles from us and we share one car which means we'd be putting 120 miles on our car daily. He also needs $60 worth of tools, which he wants me to buy because he currently has no money.
I really think this is a bad idea. Of course I'd like for him to be working, but I'm going to be footing the bill in both time and money with taking him. And on top of all of this I'm 37 weeks pregnant and due to where we live 30 miles might be over an hour in traffic, possibly more. So, I'm a bit afraid of possibly going into labor and him being all the way out there.
Should I just back off and let him do this job? He's very angry I'm not "supporting" him...even though I've been supporting him financially for the past 5 months. He's so angry with me that I guess I just have to relent, but this feels like a really bad idea. | Partner wants to work at a job site that's over an hour away. I have other obligations and can't afford to take him. He's angry and I'm unsure if I'm making a mistake. |
t3_19m1gi | Advice | Need some help please... | So I'm kinda stuck in my own life right now. I'm 25, have a 2 year old daughter who lives with me half the week. I live in my parents basement, and work a crappy job without much future in it. The problem is that it pays sorta well, but not awesome. It's better than most entry level jobs, but I need a career. I can't make up my mind what I want to pursue, I've tried a few things but haven't found something I would like. I need ideas of something I can go into that doesn't require a lot of school. Any ideas would be awesome! | have a job, need a career, want to move out but no time between current job and 2 yr old daughter to go to school. |
t3_3idz43 | Dogtraining | My puppy doesn't want to be outside! | We live in an apartment building downtown and I have a 12 week old lab mix who doesn't want to stay outside. I take her out, she goes potty and then immediately makes a break for the door back inside. I try to coax her to take a short walk with me but she won't budge, she tries to pull and pull on the leash and when that doesn't work she just sits down and sometimes even whines. We have had her for 4 days and originally she liked going on walks with us, now not so much. I should mention that if I pick her up and walk her out of view of the building and set her down she will walk no problem at all. I am worried we did something wrong in the first couple days that caused her to want to be inside all time as she really makes an effort to get back in. We have taken her to the dog park and out on long walks and she has been totally fine and completely full of energy, it's just when she is in sight of our building. Is this something we caused and what can I do to get her excited for a walk? | My new puppy goes potty then immediately wants to go back inside. I want her to be excited about being outside. |
t3_paak3 | dating_advice | Might have blown my chance, cant even think straight. Any advise? | Ok.
Well i have known this girl for a little bit over a year. Sort of got to know her over the summer. Just hanged out more or less. (we are in same college program. She is a redditor as well, so i am keeping this as vague as possible.)
It took me about 8 months to realize i liked her. I mean hell i liked her as a friend, but the more i got to know her the more i liked her. I don't think she knew until maybe the last 2 weeks.
She has a great sense of humor, is really pretty, smart as hell, and just fun in general to be around. So you see my problem. Ask her out, maybe she says yes, maybe she says no and the friendship goes down in fire.
So i tried to see about getting her and some mutual friends out for some drinks. Nothing seemed to happen. I was bummed, got drunk and sent a extremely stupid message to her.(nothing angry, just dumb beyond belief talking about how nothing happened) Over the moon stupid. Like if i could go back in time and shoot my self. I would.
I apologized. She seems to brush it off as if it was not a big deal. Tried to see about going out to do something about a week or so later. Nothing happened. She said she was busy, but hell it either that or she thinks i am a fucking idiot. | I over think the simplest shit. I could walk into an interview get an amazing job and talk through it like a pro. But with this girl. God damn. I am a mess. |
t3_xc9kp | relationships | I've lied to my boyfriend about being raped to cover up being molested as a child. Our sex life is none existent - how to I come clean? | I don't know why I've lied about it, maybe I find it easier to cope with or just easier to deal with a made up story than the truth. I've never told *anyone* about what happened to me as a child, it wasn't a family member or even anyone I knew who did it, so never felt necessary. I've recently come to realize that I am more affected by the event today, than I thought I was.
My boyfriend and I have sex less than 5 times a year. My boyfriend really wants to have more sex, but I either just don't give him the chance to initiate or just say no. Everything else in our relationship is amazing outside of this. We've been together nearly 4 years, and I fear that if I don't handle this issue with myself now, its only going to get worse.
So I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend whats going on or just try to deal with it myself. If I were to tell him, I'm not sure what I would gain from it. I initially told him about the rape as he flat out asked me why I didn't want to have more sex, almost 2 years ago now. I feel very uncomfortable talking about sex in general, and I'm never up for trying anything new. I do generally enjoy sex, but because I'm so closed up about it, its not as great as I feel it could be. I just feel very awkward and self conscious about everything relating to sex, and I don't know how to get around that. I've not had many sexual partners, so I have little to no experience outside of what I have with my boyfriend.
Do I really need professional help, or can this be solved through manning up and talking to my boyfriend? If I do talk to him about it, what approach should I take to get the best result? | Lied to boyfriend about being raped, to cover up being molested as a child. Sex life is suffering, don't know what to do in order to fix myself |
t3_3jq1xl | relationships | My (25M) girlfriend (21F) feels like she is withdrawing from the relationship, any advice? | Me (25M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been together for about four years now, and just recently have started living together at her parent's house while we wait for a condo we purchased to be built.
For the past few months in a row, sex has been very sparce, happening only a couple of times a month. Despite my frequent attempts initiate, she is always either too tired or just not interested in it happening. She's a very kinky girl, but even when I play to how she usually wants things to go, no success there either.
I'm very invested in planning outings and activities for us to do, always taking her out for dinner and such, but don't see much of that initiative returned on her end, most of her focus is towards making plans with her friends and the like. I usually have to schedule myself in after her plans with them are already decided.
Recently she just came back from a family trip, and was very sexually charged the first night she came back. But this was only after talking about her meeting some new friends (including a guy who was interested in her) on said trip. After that one night, she was back to giving me the cold shoulder.
I've talked to her about how I feel almost unimportant to her, and that I would like her to be a bit more emotionally and physically involved in our relationship. And she says she wouldn't be with me if she wanted things any other way. I asked her about the cruise and she explained that it was nice to be seen as attractive by other people, and that she is craving new experiences.
I almost feel like I'm chasing her for her attention, and all the while she's looking elsewhere for her fun/etc. I have no problem being by her side while she figures things out, but it's very discouraging basically being neglected in the mean time. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Or is there some other way I should go about this? | GF is craving new experiences and is very distant recently. I'm trying to be supportive and stick things through while she figures things out. Am I wrong for feeling essentially like a doormat in the meantime? |
t3_42mxbn | relationships | I (M22) just dreamed that I tried to do serious physical harm to my girlfriend (F22) and I'm scared | To preface, I have never, nor have I ever wanted to hurt, harm, or damage my girlfriend or anyone else in any way. I love her very much and we have been a couple for 4 years now. As I'm writing this, I just woke up crying.
I dreamt that I tried to seriously hurt her. I don't want to get into specifics because it hurts too much to even say. But I've never wanted to do anything like that. I'm terrified.
What do I do? I know dreams can't be controlled very easily but many times they're part of your subconscious right? I just don't know how to deal with this. We live in different houses so she wasn't here when I woke up. I don't know if I really even want to tell her. What should I do? | I dreamt that I hurt my girlfriend of four years. I'm scared because that's not like me. Idk what to do. |
t3_1utp34 | dogs | Help! I need some advice on raising a puppy on my own. | Hey dogs of reddit. I have been troubled by this dilemma, so here's my tale.
My SO and I got a puppy in the fall. He's a little firecracker, part Husky and part Jack Russell. I've raised a Jack Russell as my family dog so I know the breed and rewards challenges associated with it. He's pretty much housebroken, is almost 6 months old, and does fairly well in his kennel when left alone for several hours.
My SO and I recently split, and I'm just wondering what were the challenges faced and concessions that had to be made in the name of Dog? Specifically for a single person, but any advice is welcome.
As for myself, I'm a grad school student entering (hopefully) into my PhD next year at a highly challenging program. I'll be busy with school, but I do study lots from home. I love walking, and take my boy on plenty of long walks and hikes. I also like a weekend getaway to a ski resort, how dog-friendly are accommodations typically in these areas? (I don't mind going covert dog-ops either)
My concerns are that I won't be able to devote the time he really needs to be happy and he'll severely interfere with my social life/adventurous side. Especially since my aunt, uncle, and cousins would be glad to have him in a rural community, where I could occasionally visit. | My SO and I split, I'm looking for advice on how hard it is to raise a pup/own a dog as a single person. |
t3_3jw7nx | loseit | MFP and how I lost my FatLogic. | F/34/5'6"/SW 190.5/CW 188.5/GW 155: So, I've set myself September goals: no drinking, log on MFP every day, gym 3 days a week min.
Yesterday, I worked a 10 hour shift. I work at a bar, and it was Game Day as well as having a large darts tournament. I was busy and by the end of the day, exhausted. But I'd also made a bit of money, so me and husband went out for dinner. We went to one of our usual places, but I made the choice to get a smaller meal, without a starter, dessert and a diet drink (unsweetened ice tea). When we got home I had a 45gm caramello chocolate bar. All in all, something that I would have done back-in-the-day, maybe twice a week. Anyway, i logged it all on MFP.........and doubled my daily allowence. It said that if everyday was like yesterday, I would gain 1.5 kgs in 5 weeks.
What I learned yesterday, was all mystery as to how and why I gained my weight in the first place is gone. I was eating too much. Me and husband would go out to eat maybe 4 times a week, I would cook whatever at home (not counting cals or weighing ingredients, large portions, eating whatever I felt like so lots of potatos, cooking oil, large meat portions), we would have "treats" at least twice a week (something from the servo- chocolate bars, icecream bars, packets of chips, snack cakes etc) AND on top of that I would drink with my girlfriends once a week (and not be shy about it either- mixes, spirits, whiskeys). Using MFP I've already lost 2 pounds and thats with two drinking nights and 3 "cheat" DAYS (not meals, DAYS). Now that Ive deepened my commitment and set myself monthly goals, I'm looking forward to greater changes and quicker results.
(but seriously, one meal is worth 1300 calories. I. Couldnt. Believe. It) | actually logged one of my meals using MFP that I "used" to eat, doubled daily calorie allowence. Killed all delusion as to why I've gained all this weight in one foul swoop. |
t3_2ydzz8 | relationships | My [27 F] boyfriend [29 M] of 10yrs has feelings for his [40s] superior. | We've known each other since a very young age (first real relationship) and we used to live together as university students, but lately because of economical reasons we've been seeing each other once a week. It turns out he was so afraid of talking to me openly about what bothered him in our relationship, that in the meantime he found himself a little pet project. I'm calling it that simply because he seems to have a thing for broken people.
It turns out his superior is a broken woman that has nobody in the world to talk about her mockery of a marriage, and therefore spilled it all out on my boyfriend seeing him fit to offer some kind of advice or a shoulder to cry on. He seems to be very susceptible to people's problems, at least the people directly involved in his life. And as our problems were left to boil somewhere in the back of his mind he started developing feelings for her, as she did for him. I don't know who first made advances but I know she made it clear to him that they don't have a future because a) there is no way she's getting a divorce b) she's too old.
It has been 3 months since something first happened between them, but I only found out 2 days ago. We talked about literally everything, he finally had the guts to tell me what he thought we were doing wrong and it's clear that he still loves me and says he's prepared to work on us. That is something he stands by firmly, however also admits to being very confused about his feelings at the moment.
He says he knows she's gonna call it quits on whatever they had but he still wants to be there as a friend. However, he can't quit this job because we live in an economically disatvantaged country where you simply don't quit and find another job in a week. | Boyfriend has feelings for an older woman who he doesn't have a future with. Still loves me, wants to work on our own muck ups but stay her friend. |
t3_3gbqmg | relationships | Husband [27M] reconnected with an ex [21F] online, and I [22F] am feeling uneasy. | Been together 2 years.
I just can't shake this nasty feeling. She's his "one that got away"--he was borderline obsessed with her while they were dating (this was three-and-a-half years ago). He recently he added her Facebook, saying it was casual and he just needed closure. But he's liked and/or commented on almost everything she's posted, even what I consider to be obvious beauty photos (a.k.a. "tell me I'm pretty" selfies. No judgement--I've posted them too. My husband says he hates selfies, and yet he likes hers?). | Husband reconnected with ex-girlfriend, seems too interested in her, I'm uneasy. Am I being paranoid? I've been paranoid before. |
t3_ufso0 | AskReddit | Would you contribute 10% of your income, for life, in exchange for being one of the first space colonists? | Suppose there was a non-profit foundation that was dedicated to human space colonization. Your donation would be tax deductible and it would fund the research for and execution of human space colonization.
The first goal would be to have a permanent space station that housed 1,000-2,000 residents that would research how to make the space station completely self-sufficient, as well as expand the maximum allowable population. After that, the foundation would focus on expanding the off-earth population and begin colonizing our solar system. Moons, asteroids, other planets, etc.
Once the space station is accepting residents, anyone who continuously contributed 10% of their income for at least 5 years would be put into a lottery and selected randomly. If it took longer than your lifetime to build a space station that could accept colonists, you could pass your ticket on to one of your heirs. Suppose for every 25 years of income you contribute, you earn additional ticket that you can gift or pass on to heirs or otherwise use as you please. The organization's goal would be to eventually allow all ticket holders to become colonists.
Would you do it? Would you trade 10% of your income for a ticket off of the planet?
Please upvote for more visibility and more valuable input. Let's make this dream a reality! | You donate 10% of your income for life, and in exchange you or one of your heirs are guaranteed a spot on a space colony. It may not be the first spot, but you are guaranteed a spot. |
t3_2cu1xt | legaladvice | Questions about taking custody of a child, or if I would even be allowed to. [Cross post from r/relationships] | Hello r/relationships, sorry for any formatting issues Im on my phone in the hospital. I have a serious question. Today a friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Seven pounds, 21 inches. She is gorgeous....
However because of something that happened in her past DHR came and told her they would be taking the baby. The DHR rep told them they had a choice of who they would want to have custody of her but I was asleep when they asked. They are going to call first thing in the morning and ask but my question in is not if I think I could, because I know I can, but would I be allowed.
The only things I can see going against me are an unpaid ticket in a different state, a fine I'm still paying on for a no insurance ticket, and another fine I got when I ended up in jail for checks my mother had me write that ended up bouncing. I have paid over half of the last and only owe a third of it at this point. Would these things keep me from getting custody of the child?
I'm only 21, and please no comments about how I'm too young for this or anything because I know it's not going to be a cake walk but I am prepared for that. I have a full time job. I have my own place. I am food stamps but I dont see why that would matter. I am unmarried.
I want to do this is. I just need to know that I can and I need people to be honest with me about my chances. | Friend had a baby that may get taken away from her. I want to know if I could take custody of the child. This is in Alabama as well. |
t3_2ye7gl | relationships | My best friend (F20) is thinking of leaving her boyfriend (M22) of 3 years and father of their daughter (F2) because she's gay | Okay, so my friend doesn't use Reddit but wanted some advice so we're together and I'm basically putting all her thoughts into words.
To start off, They met in high school and they were best friends for years before they'd actually began dating. They realised that the friendship had turned into more and that they wanted to be together as more than friends. They've now been together three years and have a child.
My friend has always been open about being bisexual but she is starting to realize that she's gay and not bisexual. So the biggest issue is that they're both young and living together but she feels like being with a man, any man. something will always be missing and she can't really truly love a man like she could with a woman.
She said she still loves him but being with him isn't what's going to make her happy. How can she be?
So, what is the best course of action in this scenario, how does my friend come ahead?
Thanks to all who answer, any advice or even stories you may have is greatly appreciated. | Best friend wants to leave her boyfriend of three years whom she has a child with but doesn't know how to go about it because she doesn't want to hurt him, but she is gay. |
t3_3ttqqm | relationships | I [18 M] am in a long-term relationship [almost a year] with a girl [17 F]. Yet, last night, I met a girl [19 F] and I seem to have a bit of a crush on her... What is wrong with me? | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My girlfriend and I have been fighting a lot as of late, mostly just her getting mad at me. I haven't seen her in a week, due to the fact that I've been sick and I had tickets to a basketball game on Friday night and I have season tickets for football on Saturday. She texted me saying that if I really loved her, I would have dropped everything to hang out with her. Well, she said that she was busy Friday night, so I made plans. She just changed her mind last minute because she didn't want to go. And she knows I have season tickets for football every weekend, she just gets pissed because I go. Every fucking weekend, she gets mad because I go to a football game or hang out with my friends for one or two days, leaving her getting so mad that she wants to break up. Mid-week, we're doing great though. It frustrates me to no end.
Well, last night after the football game, I went to my friend's dorm and we met up with his ex who he is trying to get back together with and one of her friends. And her friend was cool as fuck. Not as pretty as my girlfriend I would say, but she was just really freaking cool. And I realized why my girlfriend doesn't want me to hang out around other girls - I developed a bit of a crush on her... I know it would never work because she's a college freshman and I'm a high school senior, but I developed a crush on her. Fuck fuck fuck. I just feel guilty because I have had a girlfriend for the past year.
I feel absolutely terrible, especially with my girlfriend and I not getting along as of late. What is wrong with me? | My girlfriend and I have been fighting as of late due to stupid shit. I met a girl last night and I unfortunately developed a crush on her. What should I do...? |
t3_1j59fd | relationships | [17M] Brought up sex too early/in a dumb way with [19/20f] and may have ruined things. Wondering if it's salvageable. | A week ago I was hooking up with an incredibly attractive girl for the second time. We were getting pretty into it and I said the stupidest shit I have ever said in my entire life: "I've got condoms, if you're into that." She just kind of smiled and I think maybe giggled a little under her breath and then made out for a little bit longer but it was less intense.
Both the times I ran into her between then and now she seemed kind of awkward around me. Last night I texted her asking if she wanted to chill and she said she couldn't cause she had to finish a paper due the next day. I'm not entirely sure she has a summer class (we haven't really talked much about ourselves), but I've given her the benefit and said sure I'll see you later.
Later that same night she favorited a tweet of mine so I texted her playfully calling her out saying something like "oh so you can go on Twitter but not hang out with me?" and we kind of joked around for a bit and she said goodnight.
She's a cool girl but I'm gonna be honest I'm mostly into her cause she's gorgeous. Is there a way to salvage this? | Implied/asked to have sex in an incredibly stupid and cringe-worthy way and am wondering if the relationship is salvageable. |
t3_dab6h | AskReddit | Reddit, can I please get some advice about handling a situation at work? (details inside) | I work for a small company in the accounts department, part of my job is to maintain collections so the cash keeps coming in, the other is to maintain payments, ie pay the bills.
The only problem is we don't usually have enough to pay the bills. This is don't mind, we are working on the sales and things are improving, but not at the pace I would like to maintain regular payments.
The hard part of the job is that everyday I usually have at least 3-4 phone calls from suppliers who are chasing money, the majority of them are good about it, however there is usually one call every 2-3 days that the person on the other end chasing payment is unreasonable, rude and downright condescending. These calls don't really do much for my mental stability.
So here comes the major gripe in all this. My boss is the person who authorises the payments. Each week he usually overrules my plans and payments to suit him.
The worst part is that he pays himself first whenever a payment is due to him even when employees and suppliers are due for payments to be paid to them, some of which have been waiting over 12 months. e.g. The boss just came back from a trip and paid himself the reimbursement due to him within 5 days of being back. He is the only one in the company with nothing due to him, except me, because I know better than to spend money I am not going to get back.
My question to you is, how do I approach this with the boss and tell him that I am uncomfortable with his behaviour and I feel it is detrimental to the health of not only the company, but me, without, a) getting him off side, he can be temperamental, b) making an arse of myself, c) losing my job, and by d) getting my point across and resolving the issue for the better of everyone.
p.s being a small company, there is no one above him I can go to. | Boss pays himself above everyone else, including suppliers to the detriment of the company and my mental stability, how do I stop it? |
t3_2a934f | relationships | Me [20M] with my ex-gf [21F] of 8 months, are in a very confused situation and I can't get a read on her. | So I started dating my girlfriend back in late October and we did everything together for about 8 months, and I was completely in love with her and she was in love with me. Around early March at the end of the school year she broke up with me and said we weren't compatible anymore. Her real reasoning was that I was a little anti-social sometimes and was inflexible at times.
A few days after we broke up, she texted me and we started talking and saying how we would like to continue to still hook-up and have sex together. A few weeks later she went to Spain for 6.5 weeks and came back last week. Her entire time in Spain she told me how she missed me and wished I was there exploring with her and having fun. Not to mention she missed having sex with me. She facetimed me multiple times a week and texted me constantly. She would get drunk at times and tell me how much she still loves me (drunk words are sober thoughts?) At one point she even discussed being the girl in my life for as long as we live.
Two days after she returned I took her on a date in DC and we had a fabulous time together. And had sex numerous times and I slept at her house. A few days later we went to the beach together and had another great time. This weekend she is coming to my house to stay the weekend.
The problem is she has told me she wants me back but is scared and doesn't know if it's the right move. She claims we can still be in each others lives and have sex but we should keep it simple and stay friends for now. | I'm really confused on where this situation may lead, and I'm still in love with her, and have told her I'd give it my best shot this time around. Thoughts on where this may go? |
t3_1bxdjo | relationships | Is she [23F] cheating on me? [24M] | We've been together for a little over a year. My girlfriend is only friends with guys. Her reasoning for only having guy friends is that girls just cause a lot of drama. Is this a valid reason? Anyway, she met this one guy a few months ago while she was on vacation and they have been getting closer and closer. I have never met him. Lately she has been distant and it started after he visited her and spent the night, which I didn't think much of because he lives a few hours away from her. She did not tell me that he spent the night. Because of the distancing, I felt insecure and snooped a little. I know she deserves her privacy, but I really do not feel good about their relationship so I snooped some more. She refers to me as "friend" or "buddy" when she talks to him. She took her relationship status from facebook off. From being in a relationship (without tagging me [I had mentioned that it bothered me that she never wanted to tag me in anything and it made me feel like she was embarrassed by me but she never did anything about it]) into not having a relationship status. They have mildly flirty conversations with each other and even use kissy emoticons in their conversations. She went to a drinking party with him yesterday and she's not home yet. Is it unreasonable to conclude that she is cheating on me? Do you guys think she is? | Girlfriend has been getting closer to her guy friend and I'm not sure if she is cheating on me or not. |
t3_497amr | relationships | Me [24 M] with 24F girl I was FWB for 2 months ended it to get back with cheating ex of 8 years | I met a girl 2 months ago who I instantly connected too. We agreed to be exclusive FWB. We hung out everyday and went on dates and things but agreed kept in casual since she was 2 months out of a 8 year relationship with a chronic cheater ex and that I'm graduating and moving in the spring and shes not. She ended things today because she's visiting her ex over spring break for the first time in months. I'm gonna miss fooling around with her. She also happens to live right next door so we agreed to be friends. Am I an asshole for trying to convince her to not get with her ex and to start our fwb again? | Next door neighbor FWB trying to repair relationships with cheating ex of 8 years. Am I an asshole for trying to convince her to not get with her ex and to start our fwb again? |
t3_3702w6 | tifu | TIFU by ordering a hotdog | This happened literally 10 minutes ago.
Just a little background - I have trouble waking up in the mornings as I go to sleep really late. I usually sleep in until about 1ish on the weekends.
So today I started driving school. The class started at 9:30 today and, as I have mentioned, waking up early is difficult for me. I get to the place and the lady there explains to me that there is a cafe where I can buy a drink and a lunch; which is perfect because I forgot to bring a lunch.
After the first few hours of class (and a lot of will power to stay awake) the instructor let's us go on our 45 minute lunch break.
By this point I'm starving as I did not have a breakfast this morning. I'm looking at the different options on the menu when a little sign catches my eye: "Sorry - we only take cash". Shit. I don't usually have a lot of cash on me because I use my debit a lot of the time.
I start poking around my wallet (while letting other people go ahead of me in the line) to see what cash I had on me. A total of $3.40 in change. Shit.
I review the menu and decide to buy a hotdog as it was only $3 (not including tax). At this point I'm a little nervous as I'm not sure if my $3.40 will cover it.
I walk up to the counter and ask for a hotdog. The total ends up being $3.20 or something like that. Feeling a bit better that I have just enough, I give him my money but before I can walk away, he asks me how I would like my hotdog done.
Now, what he meant here was what I would like on it but since I was still half asleep, I think (for whatever reason) he is asking me how I want it cooked. You know, like how they ask how you want a steak done. So I preceded to tell him that I wanted it "medium-rare". Fuck. I instantly knew what I had done.
We both give each other the most awkward look. He stutters as he says "What do you want on it?". | Woke up a lot earlier than I am used to, was hungry and wanted to buy an hotdog, preceded to tell the guy I wanted it "medium-rare" |
t3_27g0wx | relationships | Me [22M] scared of how serious I've become with my gf [25F] | About a year ago (when I was 21), I found the most sincere, sweet, kind girl I had ever met.
I was a huge partier before then, a very independent person who had just graduated uni the year before. I had no intention of becoming serious-I was planning on going to grad school in two years (what is now next year) but slowly I fell for this girl and stopped being a bachelor. I asked her out-and after about 6 months of being in denial that I was actually in a relationship I began to really think about my future with this girl.
She is extremely attractive, loyal, funny-and we share the same interests. But my constant self-doubt is destroying the relationship. I love spending time with her, and have grown to not miss the bachelor life (I used to heavily when we first started dating), but a part of me still thinks this is crazy and wrong.
I'll be moving back to Canada next year, and because my gf is conservative she wants some commitment if she were to move with me (won't do long distance and I don't want that).
Its hard for me to imagine committing right now. I may not miss being young now, but when I think about permanently losing my youth it scares me. When I think about settling down, it makes me so happy thinking about how happy my gf will be and how awesome a wife she will be-but I can't see myself being that happy settling down that young. Not sad-but not estatic. I also feel so depressed thinking of losing her in my life because she has honestly cared for me like no one in this world has. I also feel that by giving up the "chase" of other girls, I've lost a bit of passion, spark, and drive in my life. Lots of feels I know.
I want to make a decision now-because the idea of having her waiting another year and then destroying this girl is terrifying. I want the best for her-and if I can't commit I don't want to waste a second of her time. How do I know if I'm overthinking this or if I'm really not read? | never thought I'd get this serious so young-now entertaining idea of getting engaged by next year (at 24). Right girl but too young? |
t3_ql5m3 | AskReddit | My mother-in-law was just diagnosed with stage 3 cancer...need advice. | Ill try to keep a long story short. My mother in law has stage three colon cancer. She just had half her colon removed.
She is obsessive when it comes to holistic medicine. She tries to cure every ailment with herbs and what not. She has already came out and said that she will not do chemo, she wants to fight the cancer naturally. Also the reason why the cancer progressed this far is because she refused to get a colonoscopy that she was scheduled for last year. She canceled on her appointment three time. She is now refusing to book further appointments even though it is still unclear how far the cancer has progressed/ if it has spread anywhere. Also she has stated that she would like to go live with her mother in canada for a month so her mom can more or less pamper/take care of her.
She is not a strong woman. She is constantly getting sick and worries over everything. It seems pretty clear to me that she is giving up before she even tries to fight. My wife and I just had our first son. He is 5 months old. I feel like she is being super selfish by giving up and wanting to die so quickly and possibly denying her family of her presence and possibly her only grandson from ever knowing her.
Should I speak up? say anything at all? I feel out of place since its my wife's mom and not my own. Anyways any advice would be appreciated. | mother in law may be dying of cancer, feel like she is quitting before she even starts to fight. Does that make her selfish? Do I have a place to speak my mind about it? |
t3_2yi3g0 | relationships | I (f21) keep having dreams that I will cheat on my fb (m21) | I have been with my boyfriend for about half a year now and everything is going great. I am so in love with him, I can talk to him about anything and we really click together, joke around a lot and laugh very myc, we have great great sex, the best sex of my life so far ;) I don't want to be with anyone else at all.
BUT.. I keep having dreams about cheating on him. In the dream I am usually sort of unaware of me being in a relationship and end up having sex with a guy (not really anything specific about him, like i can't remember any faces or anything). After the sex I "realise" that I am actually in a relationship and that i just cheated on my boyfriend. In the first part of the dream I am not "aware of it" and only after the sex happened in the dream I am like..shit shit shit, why did I do this, I am such a bad person, how will i tell him etc.
I am so confused since i have no desire what so ever to sleep with anyone else, I am very attracted to my boyfriend and everything is great.
Can you think of something explaining my dreams? | Keep having dreams of me cheating on my boyfriend. NO desire to do so in real life. I don't know where the dreams are coming from...help! |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.