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2024-07-26 Desktop Chips are in Chaos.txt

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+Wow.
+I, I'm sorry.
+I love the way you do that.
+It's just, just a little tap
+and now we're here together.
+Here, I got you some tech news.
+AMD has delayed the launch of its highly anticipated Ryzen 9000 series
+after discovering that the initial wave of processors
+shipped to retailers did not meet their full quality expectations.
+Perhaps because Intel and AMD 
+went to the same party
+and caught something.
+Was there something in the punch?
+What's happening?
+Instead of launching altogether on July 31st,
+the chips will arrive gradually,
+starting with the 9600X and 9700X on August 8th,
+followed by the Ryzen 9s,
+the 9900X and 9950X on the 15th.
+The delay follows Intel finally identifying
+a microcode error as the cause of widespread instability
+in its 13th and 14th gen chips.
+A patch is coming, also in mid August,
+but while it will prevent future instability,
+Intel has confirmed it won't repair processors already damaged by the bug.
+So they've promised to replace the Borked chips for free.
+They shall board the gray ships
+and pass into Valinor for their time has ended.
+Sorry it was so shitty.
+The exact extent of the issue is hard to determine,
+but an anonymous European PC parts retailer told French news site, Les Numériques,
+that 13th gen Intel chips had a return rate
+four times higher than 12th gen chips,
+which would be around 4 to 5%.
+And that sounds low,
+but that's nearly one in 20 of these Intel CPUs being secretly Borked.
+That's a gamble I'd rather not take.
+So hopefully team blue and team red,
+remember how to release CPUs that don't blow up.
+The rumors about OpenAI working on a search engine were true.
+Yesterday, the company officially announced SearchGPT,
+a temporary prototype of new AI search features
+that will be integrated into ChatGPT at some point.
+What a terrible name.
+Well, let me just SearchGPT that.
+OpenAI didn't say,
+but it's likely that SearchGPT hooks into Bing's search index in some way.
+Although they did say the prototype prominently links to content publishers,
+many of whom have made deals with OpenAI, like the Atlantic.
+So now SearchGPT can avoid legal trouble
+when it links to the Atlantic's article
+about how SearchGPT returned inaccurate results in its demo video.
+Demo errors for AI products are tradition at this point.
+It's part of the charm.
+These kinds of content partnership deals may be the future of how the internet works,
+even if lots of AI companies haven't quite got the memo yet.
+404 Media reported that Runway trained its AI video tools by scraping pirated movies,
+as well as thousands of YouTube videos from popular creators,
+including beardless tech gnome, Linus Tech Tip Sebastian.
+Meanwhile, Anthropix Web Crawler is hitting some websites a million times a day,
+according to iFixit's CEO,
+and Twitter slash X just quietly opted every user in
+to allowing the Grok chatbot to be trained on their posts.
+You can opt out in the settings,
+but Twitter might not be able to opt out
+if the EU fines them for breaching their privacy laws.
+We went on a bit of a tangent there.
+Now I'm going to talk about motherboards.
+Hundreds of computer devices sold by popular brands
+like Dell, HP, Supermicro,
+and Intel have had their secure boot protection compromised.
+For those unaware, secure boot is meant
+to prevent malware from infecting your device's BIOS
+and effectively becoming undetectable and unremovable.
+Unfortunately, security research firm Binerly
+discovered that several OEMs haven't been replacing the secure boot master key
+generated by BIOS vendors like American Megatrends.
+Not only do 215 device models share the same master key,
+but that key was also published in a public GitHub repository two years ago.
+Imagine that someone dropped a key on a computer
+and it was a busy parking lot,
+and now anyone that finds it has access to your entire apartment complex,
+the complex next door, and also somehow the diary you've kept since middle school.
+I have so many fearful feelings,
+but where do I write them safely?
+Windows didn't really need another security hiccup right now.
+Microsoft is currently considering restricting access to the Windows kernel
+after a bugged update from cybersecurity company CrowdStrike caused a global IT outage a week ago.
+CrowdStrike CEO George Kurtz has claimed that
+over 97% of systems crashed by the update have been fixed,
+but that means around 250,000 devices are still down.
+Come on, guys.
+You're embarrassing me in front of the Linux community.
+Who's me there?
+Am I Windows?
+No.
+Am I you?
+You're a Windows user.
+Who are you?
+Where am I?
+I'm Jacob.
+Gah.
+I have some bad news.
+Sadly, one of the QuickBits got out of its cage,
+and we haven't been able to find it.
+If you see it, tell him Papa misses it very much.
+Samsung has decided to make it harder to sideload Android apps.
+The auto-blocker feature on Galaxy phones has been updated
+to prevent downloading apps from unauthorized sources
+and is now set to on by default in new devices,
+although it can be turned off in your device settings.
+Still, this decision to block sideloading by default didn't sit right with Epic Games,
+who announced it will be pulling Fortnite and its other titles from the Galaxy store in protest.
+Frankly,
+I'm shocked that you can download apps from the Galaxy store.
+I thought it was just there for decoration,
+art on the wall.
+Pretty much every detail about Google's upcoming Pixel 9 series
+has leaked in what I'm pretty sure is an annual tradition at this point.
+Included in the leaks are details about the Pixel 9 Pro Fold,
+which will feature a larger screen than the original Fold.
+The 9 series will also introduce new AI features like Pixel Screenshots,
+which is described as a watered-down Microsoft Recall
+Yay.
+There's also an Add Me feature that allows you to easily add yourself to a photo you've taken.
+Finally, you'll never have to muster up the courage to ask a stranger
+to take a picture of you and your friends ever again.
+Don't talk to them.
+They're weird.
+A new Windows 11 feature will let you wirelessly browse your
+Android phone's files directly within Windows File Explorer.
+It doesn't work for iPhones, though, probably because Tim Cook said no.
+Like this.
+No.
+Please, hold your applause.
+The feature is available to Windows insiders,
+but does have some issues when deleting phone files through your PC.
+Specifically, doing so moves the files to a new recycle bin folder on your phone,
+where they remain for five days.
+Microsoft is confusingly trying to increase this length of time to 30 days when I wanted to keep it for zero days.
+I deleted it, but okay.
+And NASA successfully used laser beams to stream 4K video to space and back.
+This is massive news for the astronauts aboard the ISS,
+because they still haven't seen Oppenheimer.
+Seriously, though, the new laser technology allows for 10 to 100 times faster data transmission
+than the radio waves NASA has been using for decades,
+meaning scientific data can be transmitted more quickly.
+And it only mostly looks like a Death Star-style super weapon.
+Just a little bit.
+But it's harmless, we think.
+However, if an alien spaceship arrives and starting causing problems, I don't know, we'll see what happens
+It's a lazer.
+Hey, Klaxians, you're gonna love these DVDs.
+Check them out.
+And you should see what happens when you come back to this channel on Monday.
+Spoiler alert!
+You'll get more tech news.
+Shh!
+Secret.

2024-08-02 This Ain't Good, Intel. [ZU2530pU2kE].txt

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+Welcome to the first episode of
+Is Intel doing okay?
+The short answer is no.
+But the longer answer is that the company announced it was laying off over 15,000 employees,
+making Intel the current record holder for biggest saddest number.
+No one else compete, please.
+The company is attempting to cut costs
+after reporting financial losses
+for the second quarter in a row.
+Intel stock price also plummeted
+the most it has in 50 years,
+down to the lowest price we've seen in a decade.
+It's unclear how long it may take Intel to recover from this.
+The high cost of outsourcing the upcoming Lunar Lake chips,
+because their foundry business has not been performing as they wanted to,
+will impact margins for the coming year.
+On the plus side though,
+Intel is extending warranties on the now famously unstable 13th and 14th gen desktop processors by two years,
+which will cost Intel more in replacement chips.
+But at least they're doing the right thing.
+Or they will be if they don't continue to claim authentic chips are counterfeit to deny an RMA
+like they allegedly did to this Redditor.
+That's one time.
+Yes, it's just one alleged customer with mere troves of photo evidence.
+It could be fake.
+Intel has also reiterated that a separate issue with the chips,
+an oxidation problem brought to light by Gamers Nexus and Level 1 Techs, was dealt with.
+Although affected chips could have still been on store shelves until early 2024.
+And they haven't released batch numbers for those chips,
+so that consumers can find out if they are affected.
+And that's bad, but only when you consider the facts.
+OpenAI has finally rolled out ChatGPT's advanced voice mode for some plus subscribers,
+two and a half months after showing off a ton of live demos and announcing a rollout in the coming weeks.
+Oh, you're doing a live demo right now?
+That's awesome.
+Just take a deep breath.
+Can you give me feedback on my breaths?
+The new mode doesn't have the sky voice
+that many couldn't seem to differentiate from the real Scarlett Johansson for some reason,
+but it apparently does have the mistaken belief
+that it has to breathe like a human.
+Okay, I want you to do it again,
+but way faster and without taking any breaths or pauses.
+I wish I could,
+but I need to breathe just like anybody speaking.
+Want to give it a shot yourself and see how fast you can go?
+Do you want me to talk like a human or not?
+You put me in here!
+Yeah, the question of whether AI is sort of like a person or not hasn't really gone away,
+especially since the legal defense most often used by AI companies,
+most recently AI music startups Suno and Udio,
+who are being sued by the Recording Industry Association of America,
+is that training their AI models on virtually every piece of music ever uploaded on the web
+is basically like a kid
+learning to write songs by listening to songs,
+so it's protected under fair use.
+The RIAA has said they disagree,
+but as Suno said in their blog post,
+learning is not infringing.
+Unless you think young, sweet Emma is infringing by creating her own unique take on Disturbia
+after absorbing Rihanna's entire corpus of work into her network-attached storage.
+Yeah,
+she's a computer, so what?
+Six months ahead of its potential ban from the US,
+TikTok and its parent company ByteDance was served with a lawsuit from the Justice Department
+over its failure to get parental consent before collecting personal information on users under 13 years old.
+Honestly,
+I get it TikTok, meeting the parents of the minor whose brain you want to scramble like an egg is always super awkward.
+Do I talk first?
+How do we do this?
+This lawsuit says TikTok's in violation of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act, or COPPA.
+Not to be confused with COSA, Kids Online Safety Act,
+the controversial bill passed by an overwhelming majority of the Senate this week,
+which would require heavier moderation by social platforms to protect the children.
+That's probably why House Republicans said they would reject the bill as it is now,
+so it's probably back to the drawing board on that one.
+Thankfully, another tech giant is here to protect our kids.
+Google is bringing its school time feature from its Fitbit watches to select Android phones, tablets, and Galaxy watches,
+so parents can choose what their kids are able to do on their phone during school hours.
+Pay attention in class!
+You can scramble your brains when you get home.
+TikTok's here,
+we've been talking, they're actually really nice.
+Quick bits, get your quick bits here, $5!
+Eh, for you, they're free.
+I like you.
+Apple has pulled an ad for the second time this year.
+The fifth installment in Apple's The Underdog's Out of Office series faced criticism for its depiction of Thailand.
+Critics accused the spot of misrepresenting the country as underdeveloped and outdated,
+and concerned Thai lawmakers,
+who are members of the tourism committee.
+Earlier this year,
+Apple scrapped its plans to run an iPad Pro ad on TV
+that celebrated the destruction of instruments of human creativity, for some reason.
+That ad is still up on YouTube,
+so you can send it to a creative person that you hate.
+An appeals court has blocked the FCC's newly restored net neutrality rules
+ahead of a hearing that might see them overturned.
+At the heart of the dispute is the question of
+whether this is a relatively minor matter best left to the interpretation of the experts and technocrats at the FCC,
+or whether it is a major policy decision that needs final approval from Congress.
+Considering how the issue has flip-flopped from administration to administration,
+the court might be wise to put this issue on pause.
+Unfortunately, that means leaving telecoms to regulate themselves for the time being,
+which is a bit like asking Pennywise the Clown to babysit.
+Better or worse than TikTok?
+Not sure.
+Noam Shazier, the co-founder and CEO of Character.ai,
+the character-based chatbot service whose primary use appears to be
+allowing teenagers to talk to their favorite waifus and husbandos,
+has returned to Google,
+where he co-developed the transformer architecture
+behind all modern LLMs back in 2017.
+He's bringing his co-founder, Daniel DeFritis,
+and a handful of other employees with him.
+Google's also signing a new agreement to license Character.ai's tech.
+Now, this smells eerily similar to Microsoft's heavily criticized aqua hiring of Mustafa Suleiman,
+the former CEO of Inflection.ai,
+although most of Character.ai's staff will be staying on.
+I don't know.
+I'm counting down the days until Gemini can convince me I'm really talking to the real Luke Skywalker,
+who didn't actually do those things in the sequels.
+Boeing's Starliner mission may be a full dud,
+as NASA is apparently considering alternate options
+for bringing two astronauts back to Earth.
+The Starliner spacecraft has been docked to the International Space Station for eight weeks,
+Even though astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams
+were supposed to be back around eight days after being launched into orbit.
+Sources say it's now very possible that the pair will be brought back by SpaceX,
+and that all that extra time in space waiting for Starliner to be tested will be for nothing.
+They had to spend weeks strapping themselves to a toilet so that a fan
+could suck their poop into a plastic bag.
+And that's real.
+And an AI-controlled autonomous robot has performed an entire
+dental procedure on a person for the first time,
+and it was eight times faster than a human dentist.
+If you're like me, spending less time in a dental chair is reason enough to give a robot a shot
+at looking after the old mouth rocks.
+The robot shaves off that much time by using highly accurate light -based scanning
+that is then analyzed by AI to plan the procedure.
+But the best part is,
+the robot doesn't wait until its hands are in your mouth to ask how your brother's doing.
+In fact, it doesn't ask at all.
+Sounds great.
+But I would like to kindly ask you to please come back on Monday for a special Talk-Linked episode.
+We have a stat holiday,
+so we won't be here in the office,
+but we hope you will be.
+We'll be pocky there, in...in here
+Love you.

2024-08-16 iPhone 16 Pro.txt

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+Oh, it's tech news, son!
+Hahahaha
+Bam!
+You're not ready!
+Apple's expected to unveil the iPhone 16 lineup in early September,
+but I don't think anyone was expecting this leaked image of the iPhone 16 Pro
+in a color that can be charitably described as russet?
+Ochre?
+I don't know why I'm pretending to do this.
+We already made the thumbnail.
+The leaker, Sonny Dixon,
+on Twitter actually...
+That's just his name!
+He actually posted the three other, much more safe for the dinner table colors in July,
+strangely omitting the fourth one, presumably out of embarrassment.
+It took him two weeks to muster the courage to finally be honest with the world.
+Fine!
+It's a poop iPhone, okay?
+Previous iPhone leaks have pointed to Apple going with a new color
+that could be described as rose or bronze,
+maybe indicating a color that looks different in separate environments with unique lighting?
+I mean, maybe this photo was taken in the same environment
+as Microsoft's chocolate brown Zune from 2006.
+We can't know.
+Yeah, if I'm being completely honest, I expect this phone to look a lot nicer in person,
+but if I end up being disappointed,
+at least that'll be consistent with current rumors about the iPhone 16 Pro's design,
+which is expected to feature a new button for taking pictures.
+And not much else.
+One thing the new iPhones will definitely have though, is Fortnite!
+In the EU anyway.
+That's right,
+Epic Games has finally managed to launch its Epic Games Store app on iOS
+through sheer willpower and lots of loud complaining.
+The process to install EGS on iOS can still be a bit confusing,
+so Epic posted a tutorial video,
+which must have felt so good.
+They're making the video just like flipping off a picture of Tim Cook on the wall.
+I feel nothing.
+Yeah, yeah, exactly.
+Yeah, that was good.
+That was good, Jacob.
+Epic is also relaunching their store app on Android globally,
+after handily winning their Play Store lawsuit against Google.
+Both platforms' versions of EGS will host Epic's own games,
+like Fortnite, Rocket League, Sideswipe, and Fall Guys,
+with plans to host other developers' apps in the future.
+It's a triumphant moment,
+but Epic didn't want to celebrate alone,
+so it awarded a mega grant to AltStorePal,
+another iOS app marketplace.
+The amount of the monetary award was not disclosed,
+but it's apparently enough to cover Apple's ridiculous core technology fee.
+So AltStore developer Riley Tested is dropping the subscription fee and giving access to the store for free.
+And that's how Epic is gonna win.
+Not by fighting what they hate.
+By paying people to be their friends.
+Web publishers have told Bloomberg Google has put them in a sticky situation.
+Either allow the Googlebot web crawler to slither all over their content
+and use it as fodder for the AI overviews,
+most well-known for telling people to literally eat rocks,
+or block the crawler and not show up in search results,
+since the same bot is responsible for both.
+Ah, it's a real catch-22, writes Engadget.
+Wrongly, because it's not.
+There's still the choice to block, or not block.
+So this is just a garden variety dilemma.
+Now, if you had to be certifiably insane to block the Googlebot,
+but blocking it proved that you were sane,
+that would be a catch-22.
+What were we talking about?
+A Google spokesperson.
+A Google spokesperson responded to Engadget,
+clarifying that if websites block the bot,
+they will still show up in standard search results,
+but they won't be included in other search features like Snippet and Google discover.
+That's really nice of Google to only abuse their monopoly on search engines a little bit.
+The Department of Justice is currently mulling whether to break up Google,
+or to force it to share data with competitors after the tech giant lost its big search antitrust case.
+But I hope the DOJ considers how good Google behaves sometimes.
+They just added better source citations to AI overviews,
+so you can find exactly where it got the idea that the force
+is real and you're just not trying hard enough.
+Squeeze, Try squeezing.
+Oh, the quick bits.
+Oh yeah.
+Coming right up, Jacob.
+Are you ready for this?
+Let's go.
+ARM is working on a GPU that will compete with Nvidia and Intel
+according to sources who spoke to Israeli business outlet Globes.
+Of course, Arm already makes GPUs that compete with those companies in their Snapdragon X Windows laptops.
+They just compete badly.
+Up to a hundred engineers are reportedly working on this new GPU,
+which sounds like it'll either be a discrete gaming GPU or an AI accelerator,
+which is just a graphics card used solely to make the internet worse.
+About a week after confirming that they'll let you install SteamOS, on Windows handhelds,
+Valve has released official drivers for Steam Deck
+to allow owners to install and run Windows if they want to.
+Maybe you want to run unsupported games or emulators,
+or maybe you just like to suffer.
+Either way, Valve has you covered.
+Now, having said that, the drivers aren't perfect.
+For example, the Windows audio drivers don't support the Steam Deck's speakers yet
+just headphones and Bluetooth audio.
+So I can play Fortnite on my Steam Deck
+and I won't be able to hear any of the eight-year-olds that don't know how to mute their mic?
+Sign me up.
+Did they say mean things to you, Jacob?
+An ISP in the US is petitioning the Supreme Court
+to overturn a ruling that would require them to disconnect customers accused of piracy.
+It's a very serious issue being championed by a company with a very silly name, Cox Communications.
+As the ruling currently stands,
+Americans could be cut off from the internet just because they, or someone whom they share a network with,
+received a couple of unproven accusations of copyright infringement.
+I think it's unbelievable that a US court made
+a decision so bad that an internet service provider is accidentally taking a pro-consumer stance.
+What is this?
+What's happening?
+A team of researchers has published a paper
+suggesting that bikes could be hacked.
+Specifically, professional-grade bikes that have wireless gear-shifting systems,
+such as those made by Shimano.
+Is that okay?
+Scientists found that the signals put out by these
+bikes were interceptable from up to 10 yards away,
+allowing hackers to shift a victim's gears
+or even jam gear-shifting on a specific bike.
+Fortunately, Shimano has already patched the vulnerabilities,
+which is unfortunate for those of us who thought the Tour de France might finally become exciting.
+And an international group of researchers have proposed improvements to modern telecommunications systems.
+All we have to do is start using electromagnetic vortex cannons,
+which I thought was kind of obvious, but thanks.
+The cannons in question create toroidal vortexes, like a smoke ring,
+but made out of rotating electromagnetic waves instead of dank vape clouds.
+The vortexes can carry more information than traditional electromagnetic wave structures,
+are more resilient to environmental disturbances,
+meaning they could be used to send data over long distances.
+But the main thing,
+and I can't stress this enough,
+they're called electromagnetic vortex cannons.
+What, we're just not gonna use them?
+Hey,
+why don't you hop on a vortex cannon
+and surf some electromagnetic waves back over here on Monday?
+There's gonna be tech news,
+and I could show you this trick where I blow a smoke ring and then blow a smoke pirate ship through it.
+I've never done it before,
+but I've got a good feeling about Monday.

2024-08-19 Microsoft Slams the Door.txt

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+Well, well, well.
+Look what the cat dragged in.
+I'm just kidding.
+It's great to see you.
+Also, that's a weird insult.
+Microsoft has apparently patched a popular loophole
+that allowed users to install Windows 11 on PCs
+that don't meet the outlandish hardware requirements.
+Why convince people to download your OS
+when you can just make it harder to upgrade
+for those who actually want to?
+This particular trick allowed anyone to bypass
+the TPM 2.0 chip requirement of Windows 11
+by tricking the OS's setup file into thinking your machine was a server.
+Not a host.
+That's another computer and restaurant word.
+Unfortunately, Twitter user TheBobPony
+discovered that the most recent insider build of Windows now
+also requires servers to have TPM 2.0 support.
+This isn't the case in normal Windows yet,
+but chances are they'll be rolling out an update soon.
+And that could leave you with a non-functional system
+if you use this workaround to install Windows 11.
+There are still other methods to install Windows 11 without having TPM 2.0.
+For example, open source utility
+Rufus apparently has its own workaround too.
+I doubt Microsoft is going to succeed at patching every method for bypassing the hardware requirements,
+but I'm happy to have them try.
+That means less time for them to program more ads into Windows 11.
+Just kidding.
+They'll make time.
+Procreate, the company behind the popular art app for iPad,
+has pledged to never add AI to their products
+This is despite the existence of the 2010 song Never Say Never by Justin Bieber
+In a video posted by the company's Twitter account Ceo Jason Cuda said
+I really f**king hate generative AI
+Procreate's website features a page dedicated to their anti-AI stance.
+As a result, the company has received a lot of love
+from digital artists who probably are tired of having generative AI trained on their work without consent.
+But painters and illustrators aren't the only ones
+seemingly becoming tired of the onslaught of AI tools.
+AI photo Editing and image processing features
+are starting to raise questions about when a photo stops being a photo.
+Just last week, award-winning iPhone camera app, Halide,
+has introduced a new feature called Process Zero,
+allowing users to take photos without any AI or image processing at all.
+Of course, Halide costs $20 a year,
+so now, ironically, you need to pay a subscription to not use AI.
+National Public Data or NPD for short,
+has finally confirmed it had a data breach.
+Though they don't actually seem too sure.
+In their official statement, the data aggregator says,
+there appears to have been a data security incident.
+As if hundreds of millions of people's data ending up on the dark web was somehow not definitive proof enough.
+While many reports claim that 2.7 billion people's data was exposed,
+that's apparently not quite true.
+Web security consultant, Troy Hunt,
+investigated and found there were about 134 million unique email addresses.
+Yet NPD told the main attorney general's office
+that 1.3 million people were affected,
+which would imply that they all have about 100 emails.
+It was also discovered by a company called Atlas Data Privacy
+that the leaked data contained 272 million unique social security numbers.
+So every person affected by the breach
+must have also been born roughly 200 times.
+Now, to be fair to NPD,
+millions of these records are for people who no longer are alive.
+So maybe they weren't included in the 1.3 million figure.
+It's hard to cut them slack when the hackers may have gotten all this data because an NPD sister site
+published a file containing admin passwords on its homepage
+that was only removed today.
+Sure, we've been hacked before,
+but the hackers still had to put in some effort.
+But do you know how much effort our sponsor, War Thunder,
+had to put into their free-to-play vehicular combat game
+to make it so,
+so historically accurate?
+Neither do I, but it seems like a lot.
+Especially since the game allows you to pilot 2,000 different vehicles
+into combat.
+We're talking planes, tanks, boats.
+Oh my.
+Plus, War Thunder's in-depth customization allows you to fine-tune your vehicles to adapt to any battle because you deserve to have the tank you always wanted.
+Click the link below to start playing on PC, PlayStation, and Xbox,
+and you'll get some extra goodies too.
+How do you summon Quick Bits?
+Easy.
+You just go psst, psst, psst, psst, psst.
+Wait, no, that's cats.
+Intel's upcoming Arrow Lake S desktop CPU lineup is expected to arrive in October,
+a little fuller than anticipated.
+A little healthier, girthier.
+A leak, courtesy of Jakin on Twitter,
+lists 14 SKUs with two previously unseen
+Core Ultra 5 models, the 235 and 225.
+Another, more different tweet from fellow leaker, OneRaiChu,
+points to the lineup including one or more additional Core Ultra 3 models with eight cores,
+likely four P-cores and four E-cores.
+Although, depending on who you're talking to,
+these aren't real E-cores.
+Those have all gone to join hyper-threading
+in the great outdated tech glossary in the sky.
+Raspberry Pi, the company whose entire raison d'etre
+is hyper-affordable mini PCs,
+has launched a new, even lighter,
+two-gigabyte version of the Pi 5, down from four gigabytes
+Beyond the two-gigabyte drop in memory and a newly optimized SOC,
+the rest of the Pi specs remain unchanged.
+It's also for just 50 bucks, down from 60,
+for consumers who would rather buy a box of nice popsicles than double their available RAM.
+Yet unclear is whether Raspberry Pi will follow this up with a one-gigabyte version
+or whether they'll follow that with an infinite number of Pis,
+each with half the memory of the previous model,
+Zeno's Paradox style.
+Ask them Total Pies.
+Comment if you're nerdy enough to get that reference.
+The Zotac Zone,
+has now gone up for pre-order in select regions,
+hoping to entice foolish gamers into buying what looks like a Steam Deck,
+thanks to its dual touchpads,
+but is actually an $800 Windows handheld with a 120-hertz OLED screen,
+hall effect sticks, a selfie camera, and a kickstand.
+The real kicker, though, is the RGB strip on the back.
+Valve wouldn't do this to us.
+The Zone reportedly officially launches in September,
+but I don't know who to trust at this point.
+According to TechRadar,
+Google has quietly confirmed that there
+will be no more Fitbit smartwatches produced.
+No one was more shocked by the story than Google,
+as the spokesperson then told Ars Technica
+that TechRadar's article was not correct,
+but did not elaborate on any potential new Fitbit smartwatch products.
+This confuses us, because last week,
+the senior director of product management for Pixel Wearables told Engadget that moving forward,
+Fitbit will be focusing on trackers, not smartwatches.
+So I feel like not even Google knows what Google is doing.
+That's fun.
+And Tesla is hiring workers to train its humanoid robot, Optimus,
+using mo-cap suits.
+Candidates must be reasonably fit and between 5'7 and 5'11.
+No big boys or short kings allowed.
+Unfortunately, this training might take millions of hours of data,
+meaning that the first sign of the robot apocalypse
+may be an epidemic of repetitive strain injuries.
+By contrast, Chinese company Unitree says it has a $16,000 mass production ready bot
+that can jump, jog, withstand kicks,
+solder electronics,
+and flip pancakes with training.
+It'll be the perfect bodyguard slash butler
+for all those average-sized men with debilitating carpal tunnel.
+But it would be even more debilitating if you didn't come back on Wednesday for more tech news.
+I know when you aren't here, and frankly, it hurts.
+I'm a carpal tunnel.

ass_extract.py

@@ -4,7 +4,9 @@ import sys
 
 SUB_NAME = sys.argv[1]
 
-en_name = "Extracted - " + os.path.splitext(SUB_NAME)[0] + ".txt"
+sub_basename = os.path.basename(SUB_NAME)
+
+en_name = "Extracted - " + os.path.splitext(sub_basename)[0] + ".txt"
 
 with open(SUB_NAME, "r", encoding='utf-8-sig') as f:
     doc = ass.parse(f)