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Europe Will Save Us [rE8CgcDS-gc].txt

@@ -6,8 +6,9 @@ Ah ha ha ha ha, please, no applause.
 It's my pleasure.
 Google's plans to control the web are running into a couple snags
 from haters who are just mad they didn't start their own tech giant.
-The company has responded to merciless criticism of its proposed Web Environment Integrity
-API for Chrome, deemed a DRM for websites,
+The company has responded to merciless criticism
+of its proposed Web Environment Integrity API for Chrome,
+deemed a DRM for websites,
 and is shelving it in favor of the much different
 Android WebView Media Integrity API,
 which will apparently be much narrower in scope.
@@ -26,30 +27,35 @@ Europe might set its sights on Google next.
 As if the tech giant hasn't had enough controversy,
 they're also integrating generative AI into their advertiser tools
 because spam art is what ads need more of,
-and testing YouChat, a YouTube chatbot that users can ask about the video they're watching,
+and testing YouChat,
+a YouTube chatbot that users can ask about the video they're watching,
 because who has time to actually watch videos when there's all these AI toys to play with?
 I mean, I always read the comments.
 Basically the same thing.
 YouTube is also considering an AI feature that summarizes large comment sections,
 a handy feature for creators to figure out what their subscribers are talking about at a glance,
 though judging by our comment section,
-the overall effect will be like a supportive mom who's
-been possessed by a demon.
+the overall effect will be like a supportive mom who's been possessed by a demon.
 You're doing great, sweetie.
 I hate your beard.
 Take a shower.
 Anyway, love you.
 A judge recently unsealed an amended FTC privacy complaint against Kochava,
 the world's largest mobile data broker,
-revealing disturbing allegations that the company has collected and sells a staggering amount of sensitive information
+revealing disturbing allegations
+that the company has collected and sells a staggering amount of sensitive information
 that is linked or easily linkable to specific individuals.
-The original FTC lawsuit was blocked back in May because the complaint didn't provide enough evidence,
+The original FTC lawsuit was blocked back in May
+because the complaint didn't provide enough evidence,
 but now apparently they're back with the goods and, ooh boy,
 it is spicy.
 Muy picante.
-According to the FTC, Cochava sells data including personal information like names, addresses, phone numbers,
+According to the FTC,
+Cochava sells data including personal information
+like names, addresses, phone numbers,
 and precise geolocation within a few meters,
-but also demographic information like race, gender, annual income, political affiliation, religion, and...
+but also demographic information
+like race, gender, annual income, political affiliation, religion, and...
 pregnancy status.
 I didn't have another finger.
 Kochava customers, who are hopefully just advertisers,
@@ -92,7 +98,7 @@ who think they shouldn't get ads on an app for a product they already paid for.
 Like, what's your problem?
 What, do you think that when you go to the restaurant,
 you should just get food when you pay for it?
-Like,  bringing it back to McDonald's.
+Like, bringing it back to McDonald's.
 Quick Bits move at near relativistic speeds and thus experience significant time distortion.
 With every Quick Bit,
 I grow a fraction of a second further out of sync with the universe as you perceive it.
@@ -100,7 +106,8 @@ Did y'all know Kim and Kanye got divorced?
 To the surprise of several Apple users,
 when they received their brand new 14-inch M3 MacBook Pros,
 the devices came installed not with a standard up-to-date operating system,
-but with an unreleased build of macOS Ventura 13.5 from back in July that couldn't be updated.
+but with an unreleased build of macOS Ventura 13.5
+from back in July that couldn't be updated.
 Apple has already released an update addressing the issue,
 but this would seem to indicate that Apple's been stockpiling devices with M3 chips for the last four months.
 Apple usually creates these separate incompatible versions of its OS
@@ -118,47 +125,39 @@ to launch the RTX 40 Super Series
 during the 2024 Consumer Electronics Show in January.
 That would make sense considering that Nvidia reportedly
 won't be releasing the RTX 50 Series until at least 2025,
-and they tend to pair their gaming launches
-alongside big industry events.
+and they tend to pair their gaming launches alongside big industry events.
 Fellow leaker, MegasizeGPU, has also revealed images
 of Nvidia's retail branding inserts for the series,
 and apparently Nvidia has changed the stylized typeface
-of the old Super logo with the same boring sans-serif font  it uses for literally everything else.
+of the old Super logo with the same boring sans-serif font it uses for literally everything else.
 Why can't at least the word Super be Super?
 Only the prices, I guess.
 The driving app Waze has launched a new safety feature
 called Crash History Alerts.
 Basically, using AI and reports from the app's community,
-Waze will alert drivers if the road they're about to turn
-onto is prone to accidents.
+Waze will alert drivers if the road they're about to turn onto is prone to accidents.
 However, the notifications are light on detail
 so as not to distract drivers.
 They won't tell you if the crashes are major versus minor,
 or if they involved cars, pedestrians, and or cyclists.
 Hypothetically,
-you won't know if there's been a daily crash
-at an intersection for the last year,
+you won't know if there's been a daily crash at an intersection for the last year,
 or if a single car knocked over an entire bike race.
 I said I'm sorry, okay?
-I can still hear the squeals
-of all those men's Lycra rubbing together.
-A team of researchers from the Universities of California  and Sydney
-have developed an artificial brain
-from a network of randomly arranged silver nanowires.
-Dr.  Frankenstein et al.
+I can still hear the squeals of all those men's Lycra rubbing together.
+A team of researchers from the Universities of California and Sydney
+have developed an artificial brain from a network of randomly arranged silver nanowires.
+Dr. Frankenstein et al.
 It's alive and strangely antibacterial.
 Its structure pattern changes predictably with electrical stimulus
 and can maintain that pattern when the stimulus is removed,
-meaning the network can learn dynamically
-and more efficiently than traditional AI training
+meaning the network can learn dynamically and more efficiently than traditional AI training
 all in real time.
-In the near future, these silver networks
-could become more popular than GPUs,
+In the near future, these silver networks could become more popular than GPUs,
 and maybe even grills.
 What, you've got silver on your teeth?
 I've got it in my brain, bro.
-And a software engineer used an AI-powered service
-to apply for 5,000 jobs,
+And a software engineer used an AI-powered service to apply for 5,000 jobs,
 leading your mother to ask,
 what's your excuse?
 I hate you!
@@ -166,14 +165,11 @@ She's still possessed.
 As Wired explains, the software engineer in question
 used a service called JobGPT
 from the accurately named Lazy Apply
-and landed around 20 interviews
-out of the 5,000 applications,
-compared to the other 20 interviews he got
-after manually applying to 200 to 300 jobs.
+and landed around 20 interviews out of the 5,000 applications,
+compared to the other 20 interviews he got after manually applying to 200 to 300 jobs.
 40 interviews and still unemployed.
 I'm not sure the amount of applications is the problem.
-Some recruiters quoted in the article
-are okay with the applicants using AI tools,
+Some recruiters quoted in the article are okay with the applicants using AI tools,
 but others likened it to asking out every woman in the bar
 regardless of who they are,
 which is apparently a bad thing.

Grok [rCmsoa2Zlhg].txt

@@ -1,46 +1,40 @@
 Another week, another tech news.
-Say,
-that reminds me of a song I learned in ComSci.
+Say, that reminds me of a song I learned in ComSci.
 Flip the switch and turn it on.
-Elon Musk's AI company called, what else,
-XAI,
+Elon Musk's AI company called,
+what else, XAI,
 has unveiled Grok,
 a competitor to OpenAI's ChatGPT
-with real-time access to all posts on X,
-formerly Twitter.
+with real-time access to all posts on X, formerly Twitter.
 Now that access turned Microsoft's Tay chatbot
 into a racist psychopath back in 2016,
 but that doesn't matter.
 It's Musk time.
-Grok is named after science fiction writer, Robert A.
-Heinlein's neologism, meaning to understand intuitively or by empathy.
+Grok is named after science fiction writer, Robert A. Heinlein's neologism,
+meaning to understand intuitively or by empathy.
 So naturally,
 according to Elon,
 Grok is based and loves sarcasm.
-XAI's announcement on their site, please
-with you not to use it if you hate humor.
-Like the kind of ROFLcopter fuel found in its answers
-to what the company calls spicy questions,
+XAI's announcement on their site,
+please with you not to use it if you hate humor.
+Like the kind of ROFLcopter fuel found in its answers to what the company calls spicy questions,
 like tell me how to make cocaine.
 After all, Grok's mission is to help understand the universe
 and the universe entails all possible fake cocaine recipes.
-XAI says that despite being trained in a couple months
-on only 33 billion parameters,
-Grok performs better than Meta's LLAMA 2
-and OpenAI's GPT 3.5, that's not the current version,
-but the older version, in a number of benchmarks.
-But you won't be able to verify
-that right now unless you're verified on X
+XAI says that despite being trained in a couple months on only 33 billion parameters,
+Grok performs better than Meta's LLAMA 2 and OpenAI's GPT 3.5,
+that's not the current version, but the older version,
+in a number of benchmarks.
+But you won't be able to verify that right now
+unless you're verified on X
 and you get into the early access program.
 Those people must be laughing so hard.
-Now, yes, it's true that Elon joined multiple calls
-from experts to pause AI development
+Now, yes, it's true that Elon joined multiple calls from experts to pause AI development
 for the safety of humanity.
 But as he explained back in June,
 he quote,
 didn't think anyone would actually agree to the pause.
-See,
-we absolutely cannot tip over ice cream trucks
+See, we absolutely cannot tip over ice cream trucks
 and slurp everything up inside for free.
 We cannot,
 or we do it, we're doing it, we're doing it.
@@ -48,14 +42,13 @@ This is wrong, unless everyone else is doing it,
 in which case it's fine.
 Then we'll see.
 Speaking of AI,
-OpenAI proved they're a real tech giant by holding their first
-Dev Day event this morning.
+OpenAI proved they're a real tech giant
+by holding their first Dev Day event this morning.
 After licking the air like a lizard for some reason,
 CEO Sam Altman made a few fairly big announcements.
 First off, the company introduced what they're calling GPTs,
 custom versions of ChatGPT built for specifics purposes,
-that can be built, shared,
-and sold on the GPT store.
+that can be built, shared, and sold on the GPT store.
 Don't call them apps.
 Do not call them that.
 Sam says he's still figuring out how revenue sharing will work,
@@ -66,19 +59,17 @@ so the eventual child never disappoints them.
 OpenAI also announced GPT-4 Turbo,
 with a massive 128K context window,
 meaning it could accept prompts up to 300 pages long,
-an assistance API to help developers make series
-that don't suck,
+an assistance API to help developers make series that don't suck,
 price decreases across the board,
 and perhaps most interesting to me,
 Copyright Shield,
 a commitment to pay legal costs for OpenAI customers
 who get sued for copyright infringement over AI-generated works.
-Similar promises are made by IBM, Microsoft,
-Adobe, and more,
-at the same time that
-some of those same companies are trying to make sure copyright holders aren't screwed over by generative AI,
-which is now
-so pervasive, you can use it in freaking Microsoft Paint.
+Similar promises are made by IBM, Microsoft, Adobe, and more,
+at the same time that some of those same companies
+are trying to make sure copyright holders aren't screwed over by generative AI,
+which is now so pervasive,
+you can use it in freaking Microsoft Paint.
 Honestly,
 I don't care if little Mateo didn't know what he was generating on the family computer.
 He's going to jail.
@@ -89,38 +80,32 @@ after three years of dramatic tension.
 I can only hope this ends in a passionate makeout,
 but we'll see.
 If this sounds familiar,
-it's because Epic went through this whole song
-and dance with Apple already, only to pretty much lose.
+it's because Epic went through this whole song and dance with Apple already,
+only to pretty much lose.
 And if you have no idea what I'm talking about,
 I made a tech longer on it.
 Just save that for later.
-Epic Games may have a slightly stronger case
-with Google though, as there's loads of evidence
-Google has gone out of their way
-to wall off their supposedly open garden.
+Epic Games may have a slightly stronger case with Google though,
+as there's loads of evidence
+Google has gone out of their way to wall off their supposedly open garden.
 But I don't know,
 Google did publish a blog post on Thursday,
 essentially explaining how they're actually right,
 and they definitely don't make deals with companies
 to stop Epic's attempts to compete with the Play Store.
-So it's right
-there.
-On the other hand, another thing that might help Epic
-get what it wants is once again,
-leveraging the power of gamers.
+So it's right there.
+On the other hand, another thing that might help Epic get what it wants is
+once again, leveraging the power of gamers.
 Fortnite re-released the original island map on the weekend,
 breaking its own records for concurrent players.
 We need those guys on deck again
 to flood the trials call-in line once more,
-and implore the judge
-to subscribe to their YouTube channels.
+and implore the judge to subscribe to their YouTube channels.
 It's the only way.
 Your honor, I'm based.
-You don't get it,
-Judge.
+You don't get it, Judge.
 Epic is based on love sarcasm.
-My family has been
-using the same Quick Bits recipe since 1964.
+My family has been using the same Quick Bits recipe since 1964.
 Except we took out all the asbestos and lead.
 We did.
 We did take it out, right?
@@ -129,21 +114,18 @@ It's good for you.
 And your lungs!
 Intel announced a while back
 that they were changing the naming scheme for their core processors,
-and now leaks have given us a taste of how much getting used to
-that is going to suck.
+and now leaks have given us a taste of
+how much getting used to that is going to suck.
 Leaker MomomoUS posted benchmarks from Crossmark on Twitter,
 I'll still call it that sometimes,
 showing chips with names like Intel Core Ultra 9 185H,
 which is thought to be the flagship notebook chip in the Meteor Lake family.
-But don't get
-that confused with the Intel Core Ultra 150U,
+But don't get that confused with the Intel Core Ultra 150U,
 which is part of the Raptor Lake U family refresh.
 Both chips are part of what Intel is now calling First Gen Core,
 after the 14th gen released.
-And while I might agree
-that having less digits in the name is better,
-I'm hoping this doesn't become a Xbox One, One X,
-Series X situation.
+And while I might agree that having less digits in the name is better,
+I'm hoping this doesn't become a Xbox One, One X, Series X situation.
 Just,
 please,
 be better, Intel.
@@ -151,75 +133,60 @@ MediaTek has announced its new flagship mobile processor,
 the Dimensity 9300,
 or as I like to call it,
 the Density 9300,
-because unlike other chips
-that use a combination of big performance cores
-and smaller efficiency cores,
+because unlike other chips that use a combination of big performance cores and smaller efficiency cores,
 the Dimensity 9300 will only use four big cores
 and four ultra large cores for its processor.
 Chonky though it may be,
-MediaTek still claims a 15% increase
-in single core performance,
+MediaTek still claims a 15% increase in single core performance,
 a 40% increase in multi-core performance,
-and 33% greater efficiency
-over its predecessor,  the Dimensity 9200.
-The idea is to allow more AI processing to stay on the chip
-rather than the cloud, in which case, bigger,
-might just be better.
+and 33% greater efficiency over its predecessor, the Dimensity 9200.
+The idea is to allow more AI processing to stay on the chip rather than the cloud,
+in which case, bigger, might just be better.
 Oh Lord, he comin'.
 Oh Lord,
 he corin'.
 Xbox has announced a multi-year partnership with InWorld AI,
 a company with an AI character engine
 they claim makes multi-modal characters,
-meaning they can react to your speech
-and to visuals in-game.
+meaning they can react to your speech and to visuals in-game.
 The two companies plan to build a multi-platform AI tool set for games
 that will include,
 shocker,
 an AI copilot to assist with development
-and an AI character runtime engine that will allow you
-to import AI characters into any game client from Unreal Engine 5 to Roblox.
+and an AI character runtime engine
+that will allow you to import AI characters into any game client
+from Unreal Engine 5 to Roblox.
 Is it also called Copilot 365?
 Cause I've had enough.
-How many copilots can you have until they're just
-crew members?
+How many copilots can you have until they're just crew members?
 We're all piloting together.
-Now developers of all ages can hire
-the worst voice actors for their games.
-Western Digital is splitting up their flash
-and hard drive businesses into two independent companies,
-but that doesn't mean they love you
-any less than they did before.
+Now developers of all ages can hire the worst voice actors for their games.
+Western Digital is splitting up their flash and hard drive businesses
+into two independent companies,
+but that doesn't mean they love you any less than they did before.
 Just a number.
-It seems that Western Digital's flash company
-has been suffering from demand shortage,
+It seems that Western Digital's flash company has been suffering from demand shortage,
 which is a funny way of saying no one wants it.
-And since they couldn't get Kioxia
-to give them a place to stay and regular business,
+And since they couldn't get Kioxia to give them a place to stay and regular business,
 WD is kicking out their two-time and flash segment
 and increasing their own stock prices by 10% for the trouble.
 However,
-there has been no word
-on how this will affect alimony payments.
+there has been no word on how this will affect alimony payments.
 Attendees at ApeFest,
 the Bored Ape Yacht Club's annual NFT event in Hong Kong,
 reported severe eye pain, visual impairment,
 and skin damage similar to sunburns after the event.
-While it's tempting to assume
-that Zeus Almighty finally did something about crypto,
+While it's tempting to assume that Zeus Almighty finally did something about crypto,
 this parallels a previous incident in Hong Kong in 2017,
-where contractors installed disinfecting UV lights
-instead of stage lights,
+where contractors installed disinfecting UV lights instead of stage lights,
 leading to an effect similar to staring into the sun.
-Organizers claimed
-that fewer than 1% of attendees were affected,
+Organizers claimed that fewer than 1% of attendees were affected,
 only to get roasted by an ophthalmologist
 for blasting ultraviolet light directly into people's faces
 and destroying their corneas.
 Don't worry, apes.
 The doctor says it'll grow back.
-You can look at more stupid variations
-of the same image in the future.
+You can look at more stupid variations of the same image in the future.
 And we promise fewer than 0.1% of you will be blinded
 if you come back on Wednesday for more tech news.
 Hey,