Stop where you are.
How did you access this feed?
This stream requires level five security clearance.
I'm just kidding.
This is pre-recorded video.
I can't do anything.
Former Apple product designers have launched the Humane AI pin.
It's essentially a $700 GPT-4 powered shirt dongle
with cell service, cameras, and a laser projector.
But it may not be as stupid as it looks.
Humane's founders are former Apple exec,
Bethany Bongiorno, Bongiorno, something,
and designer Imran Chaudhri, who going by his website,
apparently did nothing for 20 years but file patents.
That may explain why he looks like he needs a nap all the time.
Humane says the pin doesn't run apps.
It simply accomplishes whatever you tell it to using AI,
but its camera and mics are not always recording.
You have to tap it and you'll hear audio come out of its personic speaker,
creating an intimate bubble of sound,
unlike other speakers that don't do bubbles at all.
Elton John did walls.
When you do want the camera to record,
the AI pin's trust light will turn on,
which is ironic, given you should never trust someone wearing that many bracelets.
You can hold up your hand to access some controls by a laser,
but you can also hold up nuts like D's
and ask the dongle,
how much protein is this?
How much protein is in D's nuts?
It's unclear if this feature will work on anything the camera can see.
Strangely, even though Chaudhri said the AI pin has a quote,
it runs a Qualcomm Snapdragon chipset,
and that means it's really fast.
It erroneously listed the best places to see the next total solar eclipse
as Exmouth, Australia and East Timor,
which are the best places to see this year's eclipse back in April.
Similar, easily provable errors were made
during the unveiling of both Bing Chat and Google Bart,
and you'd think there'd be a lesson here,
but to be fair,
Imran may have been sleep talking in the video.
We can't tell.
Humane will have until next year to fix the AI pin when it launches for $699 at $700,
plus they required $24 a month subscription.
I can't wait.
I can.
Pre-order.
In more AI news,
OpenAI blamed a DDoS attack for its periodic outages on Wednesday,
according to a status page that doesn't exactly scream $29 billion company.
Initially, OpenAI's CEO and backup video game character asset, Sam Altman, said,
ChatGPT's new features were simply more popular than the company had anticipated.
Turns out that popularity was actually malice,
as misleadingly named hacktivist group Anonymous Sudan claimed responsibility for the attack.
The next day, OpenAI became unpopular with best friend and possibly lover Microsoft
when the company blocked its employees from using ChatGPT.
You'd think it was a response to the attack,
but Microsoft claims the block was an error,
or maybe they don't feel the same connection anymore.
These days, there's a lot more AI fish in the sea, after all.
Samsung's newly announced Gauss.
Gauss can supposedly translate audio and text in real time.
That's pretty hot.
And Amazon says its Olympus AI's parameters are double the size of GPT-4's.
We understand if you're having second thoughts, Microsoft.
You're a trillion-dollar company.
At some point, you'll leave your current AI wife for a younger model.
Speaking of Amazon's massive assets,
the company is now offering low-cost primary health care as a Prime membership benefit.
Did your arm fall off?
Prime members...
Members can get same-day delivery directly to a surgical suite.
Is this true or not?
I can't...
this is Black Mirror.
I don't know.
That's a joke, right?
Seriously, though, for an extra $9 a month or $100 per year,
members can get 24-7 on-demand virtual care
and schedule next-day or even same-day appointments
at hundreds of primary care offices across the US.
Now, the e-commerce giant already has a pay-per-visit 24-7 telehealth service
called Amazon Clinic,
but they craved more.
So they casually spent $3.9 billion earlier this year
to acquire primary care provider One Medical.
With this acquisition and its previous buyout of Whole Foods,
Amazon now controls sources of food and medicine.
Two things literally we can't live without.
Perhaps Amazon will get into the oxygen business next,
buy a bunch of land covered in trees,
call it the Amazon Forest,
and then sue South America for copyright infringement.
You did good today, sport.
Come on,
let's get you some Quick Bits.
A federal judge has dismissed a class action lawsuit
alleging that Honda, General Motors, Toyota, and Volkswagen
violated Washington state privacy laws
by using their onboard infotainment systems
to intercept, record, and download text messages and call logs.
Not because the judge determined they weren't collecting that information.
In fact, they still are.
It's because the law requires proof
that plaintiff's reputations, personal safety, and businesses were threatened.
Look, just because your neighbor is standing outside your bedroom window with a camera
doesn't mean he's doing anything wrong, right?
Prove it.
Omegle, the randomized chat service best known
for sketchy interactions between minors and adult strangers,
is shutting down after settling a lawsuit
alleging sketchy interactions between minors and adult strangers.
It's the end of an era.
I was one of those adult strangers.
Just kidding.
For the past 14 years,
Omegle has been a popular source of entertainment,
viral YouTube videos, and emotional trauma.
The site was originally envisioned as a way to use the wide open nature of the internet
to connect its users to new and varied ideas and experiences,
something it achieved arguably too well.
The ongoing Epic trial has revealed how much money Google has given potential competitors
to convince them to launch their games on the Play Store.
Activision Blizzard was given $360 million
for all their games in 2020,
and Epic turned down $147 million for Fortnite,
opting instead to launch the Android version
through its own website back in 2018.
20 other developers were offered similar deals in 2019
as part of Google's Project Hug.
Bear hug.
Google even cut special deals with Netflix and Spotify.
I used to pride myself on the quality of my hugs,
but now I just feel inferior.
How can I even cuddle my wife anymore?
Qualcomm and its partner Iridium announced an end to Snapdragon Satellite,
the satellite communication service for Android that never even launched.
Originally announced in January
with a promise of being Apple's emergency SOS via satellite, but better,
it seems smartphone manufacturers elected not to include the technology in their devices.
Iridium says they'll try to partner with smartphone OEMs and other chip makers,
but for now,
we'll have to deal with Tim Cook's stupid smug face,
handsome jerk.
Oh, you don't have satellite?
Well, that sucks for you.
Barbara, let's go.
And you've heard of Apple TV+, Disney+, and Paramount+.
Get ready for NASA+.
The streaming service recently launched by the space agency of the same name.
It's available on Android, iOS, and many smart TVs,
and offers award-winning original series ad-free
for the low cost of actually nothing.
It's actually free.
It's completely free.
But like, if you wanted to convince your local representatives
to give them more money to the Artemis program,
no pressure at all.
It's just Prada spacesuits don't grow on trees, you know?
And neither does tech news.
So make sure you come back on Monday for another hearty helping.
We'll make it with love and just a sous-son of sarcasm.
It gives
it more body.