shuttie/reddit-dadjokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

input stringlengths 11 502	output stringlengths 6 565	instruction stringclasses 1 value
A grizzly kept talking to me	He was unbearable	Continue a dad joke:
I rubbed mayonnaise on my eyes	Oh fuck oh shit it hurts please help this is no joke it pains fuck help me already	Continue a dad joke:
What do you say to encourage an asteroid?	Go little rockstar.	Continue a dad joke:
They always ask me why my mood is always negative	Just multiply by -1 😉	Continue a dad joke:
Recently I started working with horses	It's a stable job.	Continue a dad joke:
My favorite word is "drool"	Just rolls off the tongue.	Continue a dad joke:
Where’s a dogs favorite place to eat	At Woofle House	Continue a dad joke:
Why don't oysters share their pearls?	They're shellfish 🐚😂!	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call two guys hanging out above a window?	Kurt & Rod	Continue a dad joke:
Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present!	So where's my present?!	Continue a dad joke:
What is a visit to the dad joke factory called?	Sighseeing	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear about the mentally unstable train conductor they arrested down in Mexico?	He was a serial killer with Loco-motives.	Continue a dad joke:
What would you call a diving dog?	Scuba-doo.	Continue a dad joke:
I run Denmark's premier safari clothing destination.	You could say I dress the Danes down in Africa.	Continue a dad joke:
If a friend comes clean about their STD	Be sure to clap for them.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call a sword wielding platypus?	Parry the platypus	Continue a dad joke:
A friend of mine collects blunt pencils,	personally I find his hobby a bit pointless.	Continue a dad joke:
What did the first ant say to the second ant after he farted	It's not me, it's deodorant.	Continue a dad joke:
What time did Sean Connery normally make it to Wimbledon?	Tennish	Continue a dad joke:
Tell your young children that you bought them edible toilet paper. This way it will wipe their butt for them whenever they poop. I told this to my kids years ago when we	They thought it	Continue a dad joke:
Someone threw a bunch of herbs in my face	Now I’m parsley sighted.	Continue a dad joke:
How do you make the number one disappear?	Just add a g and it's gone.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you say when a Mexican is in bed?	Taco-Stado	Continue a dad joke:
Christmas present	So now I look forward to get the other sock next time.	Continue a dad joke:
Why did the old man fall in the well	Because he couldn't see that well.	Continue a dad joke:
Where do shoes talk while they wait for trains?	At the Converse station!	Continue a dad joke:
Why do astranomers are bad at eye contact	They tend to stare into space.	Continue a dad joke:
How did the farmer find his wife?	He tractor down	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call a person who repeatedly farts?	A BadAss	Continue a dad joke:
Why didn't the apostles chase Jesus after their argument?	Anytime you crossed him, he would come back 3 days later	Continue a dad joke:
My son’s fourth birthday was today, but when he came to see me I didn’t recognize him at first.	I’d never seen him be 4.	Continue a dad joke:
Convertibles are the most cold-hearted and merciless of cars	They're roofless!	Continue a dad joke:
Nasa wants you to find water on Mars.	say no more	Continue a dad joke:
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?	Because they’re all dead.	Continue a dad joke:
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?"	Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't. "I continued... "Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"	Continue a dad joke:
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he found some cheese at a murder scene	It's emmental, dear Watson.	Continue a dad joke:
There was this poor clinic for amputees. They didn’t have enough prosthetic limbs to go around.	So they resorted to arms trading	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear about the woman in Brazil who was wrongly convicted of having an abortion?	It was a miscarriage of justice	Continue a dad joke:
Been a few years, my kid and I are catching up	he hasnt learned to hold the glove the other way yet.	Continue a dad joke:
My stainless steel started rusting	It must've been a carbon copy	Continue a dad joke:
When did the polish man wake up?	At the Kraków dawn	Continue a dad joke:
What do conspiracists and Excel have in common?	They spreadsheet	Continue a dad joke:
Why was the last season of The Office less popular	The cast was Carellless	Continue a dad joke:
I went to a bookstore and asked where the self-help section was	The clerk said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.	Continue a dad joke:
I had such high hopes for the New Year.	Until I realized 2022 is pronounced just like 2020 too.	Continue a dad joke:
I just like surprising people.	I just like surprising people.	Continue a dad joke:
How to be a great Dad! Check below for my 4 Keys to Success.	S U C E	Continue a dad joke:
What is the name of the boy band made up of converted jews	Boys to Mensch. Oy vey	Continue a dad joke:
I was really disappointed when I saw my Mom's sister orgasm	Such an Anticlimax	Continue a dad joke:
Why are cannibals so popular?	People are really into them.	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear about the wizard that died of thirst?	He'd had a dry spell.	Continue a dad joke:
How do cats communicate online?	They send each other e-meows.	Continue a dad joke:
I told my kids my super-hero name would be: Mr. Pee Pee	because, if you see me, urine trouble!	Continue a dad joke:
What did the banana say before it dived into the lake?	I think I'll peel first.	Continue a dad joke:
What would you get if you crossed a small bear and a cow Winnie the Moo	Winnie the Moo!	Continue a dad joke:
I bought an alcoholic ginger beer.	Now she’s back at AA.	Continue a dad joke:
People often ask me how is it like working as an elevator operator	It has its ups and downs.	Continue a dad joke:
What did the football say to the player?	I get a kick out of you.	Continue a dad joke:
Have you guys heard of lemon demon	All of his songs are great but "two trucks" is a banger	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear about the artists that got into a fight	It ended in a draw.	Continue a dad joke:
Where did George Washington keep his armies?	In his sleevies	Continue a dad joke:
What do I know about dwarfs?	Very little.	Continue a dad joke:
My parents were dwarfs.	For years they struggled to put food on the table.	Continue a dad joke:
I asked my friend if he liked Nickleback	He told me that he never gave me any money.	Continue a dad joke:
Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome	It had a bad start, but by the end I really liked it.	Continue a dad joke:
Does anyone want to buy this tube of Polos I've kept from 1972?	It's a bit stale.	Continue a dad joke:
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?	If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.	Continue a dad joke:
How do you get a country girl to like you?	Attract her.	Continue a dad joke:
Why would a snake lose in a shootout?	Because they're unarmed	Continue a dad joke:
Why do flamingos lift one leg?	If they lifted both, they'd fall.	Continue a dad joke:
Why is Christmas just like another day at the office	Because you do all the work and some fat guy in suit a gets all the credit!!	Continue a dad joke:
I was gonna write a joke about drills	But it's pretty boring	Continue a dad joke:
What's the loudest kind of chair?	A Rockin’ chair!	Continue a dad joke:
A little-known fact: Che Guevara decided for a while in the year of 1962 to give up the communist cause in Cuba and start a career instead in music.	Reporter: So what kind of music will you be playing, Sir?	Continue a dad joke:
I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and laugh.	My humor is so ironic that I find myself funny.	Continue a dad joke:
Why was my sushi buzzing?	It wasabi	Continue a dad joke:
Why did the alcoholic marry the ghost?	For the Boos	Continue a dad joke:
Will things be good or bad in 3,028 years?	It’s 5050	Continue a dad joke:
Poo-Ping Was a Chinese Man.	He was always a little crappy at kung fu.	Continue a dad joke:
How do you make an adorable pickle?	You use a cute-cumber!	Continue a dad joke:
My WIFI password	Giveme50bucks	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call a duck that‘s addicted	A quackhead	Continue a dad joke:
What do you get when you mix Cerave in a bowl with a fork?	Scramble Eczema Lotion	Continue a dad joke:
How do Auto Body repairmen prefer their pasta cooked?	All Denty	Continue a dad joke:
When one door closes, another one opens	Other than that, it’s a pretty good car.	Continue a dad joke:
I use the word Mucho around my Spanish friends	It means a lot to them	Continue a dad joke:
Why are coal miners so happy?	They mine their own business.	Continue a dad joke:
What’s another name for a dozen donuts blessed by a priest	Holy Bread	Continue a dad joke:
Here’s a joke my dad always used to play on me	Why did he always have to ruin the fun?	Continue a dad joke:
I used to work for a knife manufacturing company	There was never a dull moment... But eventually I was cut	Continue a dad joke:
My 5th grader’s joke today: Two friends walked into a store	Because H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide!	Continue a dad joke:
Did I tell you about my friend with a boat making business in his attic?	Sails are through the roof!	Continue a dad joke:
This year my resolution is to become an expert in both cattle roping and iambic pentameter.	I'm hoping to become a Poet Lariat.	Continue a dad joke:
I like my kids and dad jokes just as I like my movies.	Not spoiled.	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear of the Librarian who became sick reading a book?	She became ILL-literate.	Continue a dad joke:
For some reason i always think there is only 25 letters in the alphabet	...i never know y?	Continue a dad joke:
What's the difference between a goldfish and a clownfish?	The other fish doesn't wear makeup	Continue a dad joke:
Have you heard about the tapeworm epidemic going on in France?	awful lot of Paris sights	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear Bill Gates lost a dance contest to Al Gore?	He didn’t have the Al Gore Rhythm	Continue a dad joke:
What do 16yr old Sasquatches give you when you try and ask them a sensible question?	A whole lotta Squatch-sass.	Continue a dad joke:

A grizzly kept talking to me

He was unbearable

Continue a dad joke:

I rubbed mayonnaise on my eyes

Oh fuck oh shit it hurts please help this is no joke it pains fuck help me already

Continue a dad joke:

What do you say to encourage an asteroid?

Go little rockstar.

Continue a dad joke:

They always ask me why my mood is always negative

Just multiply by -1 😉

Continue a dad joke:

Recently I started working with horses

It's a stable job.

Continue a dad joke:

My favorite word is "drool"

Just rolls off the tongue.

Continue a dad joke:

Where’s a dogs favorite place to eat

At Woofle House

Continue a dad joke:

Why don't oysters share their pearls?

They're shellfish 🐚😂!

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call two guys hanging out above a window?

Kurt & Rod

Continue a dad joke:

Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present!

So where's my present?!

Continue a dad joke:

What is a visit to the dad joke factory called?

Sighseeing

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear about the mentally unstable train conductor they arrested down in Mexico?

He was a serial killer with Loco-motives.

Continue a dad joke:

What would you call a diving dog?

Scuba-doo.

Continue a dad joke:

I run Denmark's premier safari clothing destination.

You could say I dress the Danes down in Africa.

Continue a dad joke:

If a friend comes clean about their STD

Be sure to clap for them.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call a sword wielding platypus?

Parry the platypus

Continue a dad joke:

A friend of mine collects blunt pencils,

personally I find his hobby a bit pointless.

Continue a dad joke:

What did the first ant say to the second ant after he farted

It's not me, it's *deodorant*.

Continue a dad joke:

What time did Sean Connery normally make it to Wimbledon?

Tennish

Continue a dad joke:

Tell your young children that you bought them edible toilet paper. This way it will wipe their butt for them whenever they poop. I told this to my kids years ago when we

They thought it

Continue a dad joke:

Someone threw a bunch of herbs in my face

Now I’m parsley sighted.

Continue a dad joke:

How do you make the number one disappear?

Just add a g and it's gone.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you say when a Mexican is in bed?

Taco-Stado

Continue a dad joke:

Christmas present

So now I look forward to get the other sock next time.

Continue a dad joke:

Why did the old man fall in the well

Because he couldn't see that well.

Continue a dad joke:

Where do shoes talk while they wait for trains?

At the Converse station!

Continue a dad joke:

Why do astranomers are bad at eye contact

They tend to stare into space.

Continue a dad joke:

How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call a person who repeatedly farts?

A BadAss

Continue a dad joke:

Why didn't the apostles chase Jesus after their argument?

Anytime you crossed him, he would come back 3 days later

Continue a dad joke:

My son’s fourth birthday was today, but when he came to see me I didn’t recognize him at first.

I’d never seen him be 4.

Continue a dad joke:

Convertibles are the most cold-hearted and merciless of cars

They're roofless!

Continue a dad joke:

Nasa wants you to find water on Mars.

say no more

Continue a dad joke:

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they’re all dead.

Continue a dad joke:

As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?"

Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't. "I continued... "Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

Continue a dad joke:

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he found some cheese at a murder scene

It's emmental, dear Watson.

Continue a dad joke:

There was this poor clinic for amputees. They didn’t have enough prosthetic limbs to go around.

So they resorted to arms trading

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear about the woman in Brazil who was wrongly convicted of having an abortion?

It was a miscarriage of justice

Continue a dad joke:

Been a few years, my kid and I are catching up

he hasnt learned to hold the glove the other way yet.

Continue a dad joke:

My stainless steel started rusting

It must've been a carbon copy

Continue a dad joke:

When did the polish man wake up?

At the Kraków dawn

Continue a dad joke:

What do conspiracists and Excel have in common?

They spreadsheet

Continue a dad joke:

Why was the last season of The Office less popular

The cast was Carellless

Continue a dad joke:

I went to a bookstore and asked where the self-help section was

The clerk said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Continue a dad joke:

I had such high hopes for the New Year.

Until I realized 2022 is pronounced just like 2020 too.

Continue a dad joke:

I just like surprising people.

Continue a dad joke:

How to be a great Dad! Check below for my 4 Keys to Success.

S U C E

Continue a dad joke:

What is the name of the boy band made up of converted jews

Boys to Mensch. Oy vey

Continue a dad joke:

I was really disappointed when I saw my Mom's sister orgasm

Such an Anticlimax

Continue a dad joke:

Why are cannibals so popular?

People are really into them.

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear about the wizard that died of thirst?

He'd had a dry spell.

Continue a dad joke:

How do cats communicate online?

They send each other e-meows.

Continue a dad joke:

I told my kids my super-hero name would be: Mr. Pee Pee

because, if you see me, urine trouble!

Continue a dad joke:

What did the banana say before it dived into the lake?

I think I'll peel first.

Continue a dad joke:

What would you get if you crossed a small bear and a cow Winnie the Moo

Winnie the Moo!

Continue a dad joke:

I bought an alcoholic ginger beer.

Now she’s back at AA.

Continue a dad joke:

People often ask me how is it like working as an elevator operator

It has its ups and downs.

Continue a dad joke:

What did the football say to the player?

I get a kick out of you.

Continue a dad joke:

Have you guys heard of lemon demon

All of his songs are great but "two trucks" is a banger

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear about the artists that got into a fight

It ended in a draw.

Continue a dad joke:

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Continue a dad joke:

What do I know about dwarfs?

Very little.

Continue a dad joke:

My parents were dwarfs.

For years they struggled to put food on the table.

Continue a dad joke:

I asked my friend if he liked Nickleback

He told me that he never gave me any money.

Continue a dad joke:

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome

It had a bad start, but by the end I really liked it.

Continue a dad joke:

Does anyone want to buy this tube of Polos I've kept from 1972?

It's a bit stale.

Continue a dad joke:

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.

Continue a dad joke:

How do you get a country girl to like you?

Attract her.

Continue a dad joke:

Why would a snake lose in a shootout?

Because they're unarmed

Continue a dad joke:

Why do flamingos lift one leg?

If they lifted both, they'd fall.

Continue a dad joke:

Why is Christmas just like another day at the office

Because you do all the work and some fat guy in suit a gets all the credit!!

Continue a dad joke:

I was gonna write a joke about drills

But it's pretty boring

Continue a dad joke:

What's the loudest kind of chair?

A Rockin’ chair!

Continue a dad joke:

A little-known fact: Che Guevara decided for a while in the year of 1962 to give up the communist cause in Cuba and start a career instead in music.

Reporter: So what kind of music will you be playing, Sir?

Continue a dad joke:

I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and laugh.

My humor is so ironic that I find myself funny.

Continue a dad joke:

Why was my sushi buzzing?

It wasabi

Continue a dad joke:

Why did the alcoholic marry the ghost?

For the Boos

Continue a dad joke:

Will things be good or bad in 3,028 years?

It’s 5050

Continue a dad joke:

*Poo-Ping* Was a Chinese Man.

He was always a little crappy at kung fu.

Continue a dad joke:

How do you make an adorable pickle?

You use a cute-cumber!

Continue a dad joke:

My WIFI password

Giveme50bucks

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call a duck that‘s addicted

A quackhead

Continue a dad joke:

What do you get when you mix Cerave in a bowl with a fork?

Scramble Eczema Lotion

Continue a dad joke:

How do Auto Body repairmen prefer their pasta cooked?

All Denty

Continue a dad joke:

When one door closes, another one opens

Other than that, it’s a pretty good car.

Continue a dad joke:

I use the word Mucho around my Spanish friends

It means a lot to them

Continue a dad joke:

Why are coal miners so happy?

They mine their own business.

Continue a dad joke:

What’s another name for a dozen donuts blessed by a priest

Holy Bread

Continue a dad joke:

Here’s a joke my dad always used to play on me

Why did he always have to ruin the fun?

Continue a dad joke:

I used to work for a knife manufacturing company

There was never a dull moment... But eventually I was cut

Continue a dad joke:

My 5th grader’s joke today: Two friends walked into a store

Because H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide!

Continue a dad joke:

Did I tell you about my friend with a boat making business in his attic?

Sails are through the roof!

Continue a dad joke:

This year my resolution is to become an expert in both cattle roping and iambic pentameter.

I'm hoping to become a Poet Lariat.

Continue a dad joke:

I like my kids and dad jokes just as I like my movies.

Not spoiled.

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear of the Librarian who became sick reading a book?

She became **ILL-**literate.

Continue a dad joke:

For some reason i always think there is only 25 letters in the alphabet

...i never know y?

Continue a dad joke:

What's the difference between a goldfish and a clownfish?

The other fish doesn't wear makeup

Continue a dad joke:

Have you heard about the tapeworm epidemic going on in France?

awful lot of Paris sights

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear Bill Gates lost a dance contest to Al Gore?

He didn’t have the Al Gore Rhythm

Continue a dad joke:

What do 16yr old Sasquatches give you when you try and ask them a sensible question?

A whole lotta Squatch-sass.

Continue a dad joke: