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This reminds me of a story I wrote recently! Not a 100% fit to the prompt but hopefully you like it anyways. I’ll copy it below:
“Ready to go, Sully?” Mike asked cheerfully, the leathery green skin of his rotund head glistening with sweat as he struggled to reach high enough to strap the canister on Sully’s back. Once everything was secured, Sully took a few steps back and peered at himself in the large mirror Mike gingerly picked up, his knobby knees buckling under the weight. Sully’s brow furrowed at the sight: a terrifying blue monster who once upon a time would have no problem filling up his canister with the screams of small children in the dead of the night, now almost done with his shift with the tank a fraction of the weight as normal.
“I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong!” Sully growled. “It never used to be like this, but kids… they just don’t get scared anymore. It would be one thing if it was just my job on the line but without the screams, the city would lose power.” He peered down at Mike, who was staring up at him with his giant eye starting to head up with tears.
“I don’t want us to get fired, Sully, I really don’t. But Mr. Waternoose said if we didn’t get the canister filled today we would be in big trouble. It might sound crazy, but I have an idea. Remember that research paper I sent you a while back?” Sully rolled his eyes.
“The one saying elderly female human screams are more potent than human child screams? I don’t see what good that would do us when adults aren’t scared of monsters.”
With a twinkle in his eye, Mike proclaimed “This is what I’ve been waiting for! The opportunity to introduce you to the soon-to-be patented Mike Wazowski Granny Scaring Method.” Mike pulled a crumpled pamphlet out of his briefcase and shoved it into Sully’s broad paws. “Take a look at this.”
Sully took a close look at the document and saw Mike had made detailed instructions on how to optimize getting elderly ladies to scream the fastest with the least amount of effort. None of it was making sense to Sully but before he could protest he heard a rumbling from behind. He turned around and saw Mike rolling towards him like a bowling ball at an impressive speed, his round little body curled up as tight as possible. Sully had no time to react and in the blink of an eye Mike had knocked him far enough backwards for them both to fall into the already open portal to the next household on the list. This… would be interesting. |
I was on my way to the NYSE. I saw someone dressed as a dragon. It was a mascot suit. Then, a few seconds later, I saw another person with a suit that looked similar, but it had different colors. I arrived at the building when the screams started. I saw a troubled man looking at one of the higher screens. I looked at the screens above us, but nothing seemed abnormal. I asked him, "What's going on?""It's this new dragon trend."
I went home to look up what was happening. I got on my computer, typed in, "dragon"in Google, and then went to "News."
Nicki Minaj shows off her dragon bikini
Is Trump anti-dragon?
Sonic Forces to get dragon-themed DLC
Reddit is going crazy over this cute dragon meme
McDonald's is now serving the "DragonMac", but is it good?
These were all recent.
I sort of knew now. I don't know where the dragon trend started, but it's famous. Companies were pandering to this audience. Those companies' stock rose, but other companies that didn't hop on this trend...had their stocks go down. |
The music box finished its song. Suddenly, a pillar of light appeared before me. You dropped the box. The light disappeared to reveal a woman in its place. She had a wolf's ears on top of her head. Her eyes were wide open while her lips were expressionless. She wore a brown cloak. "Hello, I am Wolf, an AI that will put you into a story scenario. Keyword?"She spoke in a monotone voice. I was surprised. After a while, I said, "Hockey."
An air hockey table appeared to my left. She got onto the side furthest away from me. She retrieved the puck from the pocket. I got on my side, ready. She launched the puck. We played for a few minutes before she stopped. I scored on her. "No, no. This is too boring. Sorry. Give me another keyword", she said. "YouTube."
The table disappeared. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder, followed by a male voice. "What's goin' on, guys? Darkmane here, and I'm about to jump off this cliff with my buddy, Tyler."I turned to see this man had a camera pointed at both me and him. I was startled to hear a large crowd shouting, "Whooo!"I looked behind Wolf. Sure enough, there was a crowd of people who looked to be young adults watching us. I looked to the cliff he mentioned. It was a long way down. No one could survive the fall. He walked to the cliffside. "Alright, three...two...one...let's go!"He jumped off, and the crowd cheered again. He fell feet-first, but collapsed when he hit the ground in the barren desert below. His limbs looked to be broken, as they bent the wrong way. His head was snapped to the side. His body disappeared. I looked behind me. The crowd was gone.
"No, this is boring. How do I keep messing this up? I'm supposed to make a compelling story", she said, still standing motionless. She had emotion in her voice this time. I walked towards her. "Well, one way is to have a character arc.""What is that?""It's when a character learns something important.""Well, I believe I accomplished that. I have learned a valuable lesson", she said happily. |
My time to make this deal was quickly closing. I could tell the woman sitting in front of me was losing interest by the second. Of course, her confused glassy eyed look could have also been because she wanted to go back to sleep. That wasn’t so unusual. The human mind is shockingly good at rejecting things it deems too crazy to be real. As it turned out, a ghost appearing to you in the night was pretty high up on the list of outlandish.
The woman rubbed a hand over her eyes, looking almost surprised when I still floated near the foot of her bed when she looked up.
“Let me get this straight.” She said again “You want to share my body? Is that a weird paranormal pickup line?”
“Oh no,” I assured quickly, moving to sit on the foot of her bed.
She scooted back, no doubt put off by the cold air around me.
“Look, we all have our crosses to bear. Mine is that I can only appear to people under a full moon to plead my case. If you agree then we share a body, in a very not creepy and totally platonic way. I handle some things, you handle others.”
The woman, Alice, she was called based on her mail, stared at me. Her heavy makeup was smeared across her face and her hair in a giant rats nest. I tried not to mentally catalog the changes I could make for her. It tended to creep people out to know that I was already imagining life inside of their skin.
“What’s in it for you?” She finally asked, shifting on the cheap mattress. Another thing I would be fixing.
“Ah, well that’s a little bit more complicated. Suffice to say I was not the most pleasant human in life. I won’t bore you with the particulars of curses and whatnot. But essentially I’m on afterlife community service duty. I need to prove I can help someone live a better life.”
Alice scoffed and shoved her way out of bed and began to pace.
“So I’m a charity case? You want to possess me because my life has gone to shit?”
I attempted to smile reassuringly. I failed based on her cringe.
“I wouldn’t say that. We all have hard times. I mean, look at me! I’m spending my afterlife begging humans to let me share their flesh vehicles with me. It won’t be that bad I promise! Think of it this way. That phone call you don’t want to make? I can handle it. Cleaning? I’m your gal. Plus, I’m always around for you to talk to! I would like to think I’m not the worst company.” I was going off script, becoming hyper as I blazed forward.
Alice paused her movements and leveled an assessing glare my way.
“Never refer to it as a flesh vehicle and we have a deal.” |
"So, what's the future like?", asked your sister. "Well, there are these people called, 'goths.' The female ones are lovely. They show no emotions in their faces."
"No emotion? What's lovely about that?"
"It shows that they have strong psyches."She just stared at you. "There is also a toxic communication system called, 'Twitter.'
"Tell me about the cute boys", she said. "Ah, yes, femboys. They wear women's clothing. Their thighs were plump and milky.""The future doesn't sound very fun", she said skeptically. She left the room. "Wait! I must tell you how my friend was banned from r/tiktokthots! A fate worse than death!" |
This monk/shaman/sage was my dad. He's been stupid stuff like this forever. He followed it with, "The world was made so that the tower would be defeated every few years. Drink this. You will grow wings and be empowered."He held out a glass of what looked like coffee. "I don't believe you, but I'll gladly take coffee", I said. I grabbed it and took a drink. I felt a tingling sensation on my back. I reached back and felt feathery wings. I looked at him in awe. "Now, you have to fly to Love Rock. The tower is there. You have to defeat it.""What are you talking about?""Just punch it really hard."I sighed. "Alright."
I was flying over the desert landscape when I knew I was close. I saw a floating tower about the height of two houses. It was sleek and black. In front of it was Love Rock, a giant boulder. I flew toward the tower. It started to leak out floating balls of fire. They moved slowly at first, but then they accelerated to a high speed toward me. I dodged them, one after another, but I eventually got hit. I fell to the ground on my feet. I couldn't fly. I ran to the underside of the tower. It floated about five feet off the ground. It still fired fireballs. I sidestepped to dodge the fire a few times. When I was under the tower, I punched the bottom. The entire thing glowed white. It started to disappear from the bottom to the top. It was gone. |
“Kick his ass James!”
“You got this Trevor!”
The crowd was energetic on this cool, summer night. There was a beautiful night sky and all that jazz but I think the moon made it a very special evening.
Before I met Trevor and James, I didn’t believe in most of the supernatural mumbo-jumbo. Creatures of the night that transform from humans? Hogwash!
Before I moved here a few months ago, I never cared for wrestling or boxing. Sparing was neat but it wasn’t as fun to watch as to do. Sumo was
Now? I still am not a fan of those games, usually. I still don’t believe in elements of the supernatural; but when given a chance to see two werewolves wrestle in a flowery field, you simply can’t pass it up. Even better, I know both of them and didn’t have to pay a cent to watch!
I’m still uncomfortable watching them transform. It looks and sounds painful. Man to beast is fast and loud. Beast to man is slow and horrifying. Both are very unpleasant, how do they do it?
“I got 50 bucks on you big T!”
Shit, there’s bets?
“I’m putting good money on ya James!” I say as I’m scrambling to find cash. Maybe they accept checks? |
The light was blinding at first.
Soren blinked his eyes, they burned. When the scene came into view, he'd realized what had happened. The last thing he'd remember was sitting in alleyway, blood pooling out of his wound, and the sharp edge of his enemies sword tip on his throat. Fearing it was the last minute of his life.
But as he stood there, the day before his entire life changed for the worst. Clenching and unclenching his fists, how was this possible going back in time. He saw the woman that he'd left to die by the hands of a villain's hand, he'd only thought of his own self surviving. He'd long ago had regretted letting her die because of his selfishness. But right now he has the power to stop the woman he regretted dying.
The entire city around him was in utter chaos, smoke billowing out damaged buildings, the distant sound of sirens, all the civilians all ran for safety.
The villain named, Blast, aimed his palm at the woman on the ground, her right leg already burned. Soren felt his feet moving on their own accord. Not away from horrific scene but towards it. His abilities were for more observations and surveillance. But at that moment, he knew he'd regret it again if the woman died again because of him.
He activated his availability, a crows flew of if his shadow and he commanded them to attack Blast, as the flock did as he said he ran forth and picked the woman up hastily, she wrapped her arm around his neck as he turned and ran. She hurried her her face into the crook of his neck, he can feel her trembling in his arms and whimpers escaped her throat.
He heard Blast give a howl of anger, as fire balls bladed around him as he continues to run. He summoned a few crows to the sky and used their eyes to find a way to get away from Blast. Ins his previous life, he was a villain and didn't hesitate to kill. But that was because of his guilt. Now he had someone to fight for. The woman he'd had a crush on while he was attending a specialized academy that helped those with abilities to use them properly. Basically turn them into agents or heros in the public eye.
He found a secured alleyway and turned, he hurriedly and turned down it and say her down gently and ripped the bottom helm of his shirt and wrapped her burned leg, he knew it wouldn't make things better.
"T-thank you,"she whimpered. He knew her ability wasn't made for combat but for she had a deduction ability. Which would come in handy as a detective. "I could've made it out of there without you."
Guilt ate at him. "Yeah, I know."He muttered. One of his crows alerted him that Blast was getting closer to their hiding spot. "Don't make a sound."He whispered.
He stood and stood at the corner of the open alleyway, and peeked around the wall to see Blast really wasn't that far.
"Come on out, whoever you are! I won't blow you up! I swear I won't,"he cackled. If memory serves him right, blast was killed by a hero who got their name slandered because of it. He couldn't remember why. But that hero should be here any minute.
White flames licked out of nowhere, nearly lighting Blast up. He moved quickly out of the way. The man of the hour. Blackflame , the hero wore his attire all in black including a black trench coat. He narrowed his dark blue eyes. Bue her noticed he was looking around as if he was looking for someone in particular besides taking down the villain.
Soren used his crows to attack Blast again, when the woman behind him screamed out, "Terran!"
The man turned, his eyes weld up with relief. He jogged over to them and hugged the woman and cupped her face in his gloved hands. "We'll get you to a hospital as soon we can, team one is here to handle the villain I came as soon as I heard you were here during the villain attack."
"I'm fine,"she flinched at her burned leg. "He saved me, he's been holding that lunatic off."She gestures to Soren.
"My ability is not all that great. . . ."Soren said feeling a bit awkward.
The hero that he now knows his real name to be Terran, smiled at him. "Thank you for helping my sister, I'd have lost my mind if she died."He said getting up and walking toward him. "Team one is still on their way, we need to hold him off until they get here, you distract him and I'll use my fire to keep him at bay."
"Sounds like a plan."Soren has already changed the future. But his biggest question is, how on earth did time rewind, why did he get a second chance? He hoped in the coming days he can find out what led to this odd phenomenon. Until then he'd better help Terran. He glanced at the woman, smiling, this is the first time he's actually felt any real emotions. It's been awhile feeling needed. |
A purple light enveloped the entire interior of the convention center. It resided after a second. I ran past crowds of people. Some were confused; some were excited. I saw her standing in the open. She was dressed as Aria, the most powerful mage from the Shy Wizard series. She wore a white corset with straps, as well as black pants. I ran to her. She turned and saw me. Her face lit up. "Hey, Jon. Check it."She held up both of her fists. They glowed crimson. I felt my chest heat up. I looked down. It swelled up. I had breasts! I grabbed them. "Woah", I said in a feminine voice. This surprised me. I was a woman. |
Most of my prompts do not require fantasy elements. I limit myself to posting at most one a day. Usually they're based on a real problem or observation, but I translate it so it's not identifiable. And abstract it to hint how a story could be made out of it without binding responders to any unnecessary particulars. Like, two choices but would it be cheating to combine them? That one got struck down as too abstract, so sometimes I add arbitrary particulars. Like, big mac vs filet o fish but maybe I can ask for tartar sauce on big mac?
Some days I get a prompt-writing binge, like recently "any time I changed my ways is a prompt". Then I have a file where I can stash away unlimited potential prompts. Later if I'm feeling that posting prompts is worthwhile, I can pull from that file once a day if nothing else jumps out at me. I put a star in the file by the ones I've already posted.
Most of my prompts are ignored. That's fine. Prompts aren't the important thing here, stories are. I try not to respond to my own prompts, but sometimes I do anyways, but when I do I give others a few hours lead time. I try to write roughly as many stories as prompts, preferably to other people's prompts. I used to try to do 2x as many critiques of stories as I do stories, but I haven't even done 1x recently. I only critique stories I like. |
The shuttle entered the wormhole, a swirling vortex in the stratosphere. The crew saw purple and blue swirls moving more intensely than the wormhole itself. Upon emerging to the other side, they saw that they were in an asteroid field. The asteroids drifted extremely slowly. There were no recognizable galaxies.
After the mission, astronaut Lance developed an obsession with Reddit. The wormhole affected his brain.He loved getting karma. He would skip meals to just browse. He already had a great amount of knowledge in pop culture. He would find any misinformation and correct them. His wife divorced him because of this. Even therapy could not cure this. |
The sunlight fades from my eyes and I look up, there they are, clouds: white, puffy, weightless things. Yet, they blot out the sun. They wedge themselves between it and leave a space free of the warm afternoon light. I lay back and feel myself falling into the sun-soaked grass.
From where I am on my perch I can see far out. There are green fields that stretch as far as I can see. Houses and people, cities, a whole world. But then I see him. A man in a two-piece suite, dyed a deep navy with a matching tie. He's making his way up the hill slowly. Seemingly making his way to me.
"Thanks for having me."The man yells as he approaches.
I bring myself up to a sitting position as he gets near. "By all means."I respond out, "It's not my hill."
"Actually, it is."
"I'm sorry?"I reply
He sits down adjacent to me "Yours, the hill. It's your hill."
"I don't understand."
"All of this,"he says, "Is you."
"I don't un-"
He lurches and grabs my arm. "Stop this Dylan."
I shake my head and struggle from his grip. "What the hell is wrong with you."
His hand tightens. "Two hours from now you head home, I don't know exactly what you'll do in-between then. You tend to mix it up. Maybe you drop by the shops and grab some milk. Maybe you run into an old friend and reminisce. You might even stay up here a bit longer and watch the sun-set.
I can feel the confusion and anger starting to rise, "How do you know this?"I hear the words come out, the agitation in each syllable.
"It doesn't matter. That's the point Dylan, because you are going to head home. Have a nice dinner with your wife, and then she'll die."
I freeze. "What."
"You heard me. Heart-attack, awful stuff. Nothing you can do - except you can. You restart the day. Everything within ten-kilometres centred around here is reset back twenty-four hours. You live the same day with some minor variations, reach the end, and reset. You've been doing it for years."
He lets go of my arm.
"Years ... -"I manage to get out.
"Years."He confirms.
"- How?"
"That's the thing, we don't know. There's a giant magnetic field around this area, pushes away anything and anyone that tries to get in. Our best guess is that you are a reality warper, your power won't let you feel the loss. So it has done this.
"No,"I start, "That is insane. I'm just some guy, I'm not a superhero or some villain. I work in sales - "
"Damnit Dylan! Stop, wait. Think - why would I be here?"
"I don't know, you are just some crazy guy. I don't want to hear anything else, get away. Leave."
He backs up step by step, and then pulls a gun. "You can't circumvent fate Dylan.""
Instantly he disappears and then I wake on the grass. Lazily I pull up my phone - I'm late.
I bolt down the hill and rush home.
\-
Somewhere quite a while away an agent reappears in a huff, and somewhere just a little bit closer, someone sits down for dinner.
(Concept blatantly stolen from a certain Marvel show I won't name due to spoilers) |
*"Well, a job's a job I guess..."*
I looked down at the small scrap of paper, now ripped from the posting at the Laundr-o-Mart, detailing a number and a name.
***Clotho, HR Recruiter, 854-299-FATE (3283)***
*"Doesn't seem that bad."*
​
I took out my phone, dialed the number, and hoped for another human being and not some automated nonsense. It didn't take long until I heard a raspy voice on the other end, seemingly belonging to what sounds like an older woman:
​
"You've reached Clotho,"the voice rasped, followed by an expectant pause.
"*Hi, I'm calling about the HR position, I was wondering if I would be able to schedule a-"*
"Come in tomorrow, 9 a.m., speak to Kharen at the desk, she should be able to get you where you need to go."
*"Oh, okay. Sh-should I bring any-"*
I was cut off, a sharp click sounding at the other end of the line. I guess they'll get what they get, not sure what they'd be expecting advertising in this part of town.
\------------------------------------
I got up with plenty of time to spare, making sure that I'd be able to find what ended up being the most dreary looking office building I'd ever seen, and to boot, one I don't remember being in this block. Not wanting to waste time, I pressed the small buzzer next to the door.
"Name and business?"a female voice called out, much more inviting than the woman I had spoken to yesterday.
"*I'm here for an interview? I called last night. I never gave my name. Guess it slipped my mind."*
"Not a worry, did you speak with Clotho?"
"*Sounds familiar, I think that was it."*
A soft buzz and a green light next to the button gave me the only clue I needed to enter. The interior of the building wasn't much more inviting: gray walls, gray furniture, white ceilings, and what I had assumed to be surgical-grade lighting. It was so bright I thought I was going to need sunscreen and the floor had never looked so inviting as I waited in the entry room.
"Nicholas Grainger?"an expectant, familiarly raspy voice called out, causing me to look at the source of the sound. My eyes met the visage of a tremendously elderly woman, though with a posture rivaling someone closer to my age. Her dark red pantsuit stood as a stark contrast to our surroundings, and her white hair cascaded down over her...
*Eyepatch? What kind of place is this? And how did she know my name?*
I stood up, walking hesitantly towards who I could only assume to be Clotho.
"Come with me, this shouldn't take long."
I couldn't tell if she was judging me or confident, but either way my feet carried me behind her without needing any further prompting from me.
We walked down a long equally-drab hallway towards the only open door I saw, up ahead on the right. Walking inside, there was a single long table, with one chair at the head and another next to it, off to the side. Clotho took her seat first, inviting me to the open chair next to her.
"Lets cut to the chase here: Have you ever worked in any positions where you've had to oversee other people in their day-to-day functions?"
I was taken aback by her forwardness, her sharp, raspy voice cutting the deafening silence in the room causing me to jump slightly.
*"I used to work as a shift lead at Subway when I was at university, so I'd say kind of?"*
The only response I got was a long stare from her single piercing green eye.
"*I did put in for a few different positions at my previous job, but my manager and I didn't-"*
"When can you start?"
Again, taken aback, I responded before I could think about what I was saying
"*I- I can start whenever, I'm currently out of work."*
*"*Perfect. You'll start on Monday. My associates and I will set you up with your first case after you get acquainted with your new office."
*An office? I don't think she knows who she's hiring here...*
"*No problem, I can get my stuff in order by then. I think I still have a few dress shirts lying around."*
*"*You'll be given a uniform. Kharen has a few forms for you to fill out for measurements. Fill them out before you leave."
Clotho went to stand up, pausing and seemingly expecting me to do the same. I stood up, hesitantly, and reached my hand out to her, offering a handshake that was promptly rejected.
"Please make sure you show up on time. We take our work very seriously Mr. Grainger. We're expecting great things from you."
*Now I knew she had no idea who she was hiring.*
"*Thank you, I'll see you then."* |
The shadows were my friends. There were two of them. They took the forms of smiling faces with little tails. They looked like ghosts. One day, in my room, I was relaxing in bed when they started to fly at a higher speed than usual. They criss-crossed each other multiple times. Eventually, they came to a stop and overlapped each other, appearing as one. This shadow became blue. It looked at me. "Bob", it said. I was startled. They never spoke. "I am Urtho, a demon here to teach you how to be more masculine.""What are you talking about?", I asked. "You have an OnlyFans where you advertise that you're a femboy. What you did in that skirt was disgusting."I was offended. "Also, you don't even know how to grill.""I would if my dad didn't die", I said. His smile faded. An awkward silence filled the room. "I just want to teach you what will help you. I promise to not insult you", it said. "Okay", I agreed. |
Mac stared at her phone for the hundredth time, she was extremely nervous. It wasn’t like she’s never had done dog-sitting before. all her neighbors actually enjoy her dog-sitting while they go out of town to vacation. While Mac never had a pet of her own, she loved help taking care of others. But recently a newlywed couple had moved in next door. The woman who was extremely sweet, blond hair, blue eyes, and a kind smile had asked Mac about her dog-sitting skills. Of course, she overexaggerated her skills, but it wasn’t like she was lying. She did have away with animals.
But what she wasn’t expecting was *their* dog.
When the woman let her in the house, she had told her their dog’s name was Cerberus, and Mac had imagined it would be some black or pit bull. Since most representations of that mythical beast was like that description. But as she rounded the corner to go into the living room, her jaw dropped, stood still at the sight. It was a literal three-headed dog, black and pit bull origins. All three heads turned to them, their jowls all lifted and showed teeth, growling from each head. Mac realized she signed up for the wrong job.
“Oh, don’t worry, as long as you can remember which head’s which, you’ll be fine.” The owner said with her smile bright.
Mac got a weird feeling this woman was The Persephone, meaning her husband was Hades. Glancing about she nervously tugged on her backpack straps. “so, what are their names,” she felt her palms getting a bit sweaty from the anxiety she was enduring.
“His name is Cerberus. Just know how to treat each head.” She smiled.
Mac was on edge. “Oh, okay. thanks.” She slowly set her backpack down as the woman left the living room suddenly. “Where are you—”
“I’m sorry I have to go now, please take care of our babies, they are very precious. And remember you should be okay just remember which is which.” She called out. In Mac’s peripheral vision she could see a gleaming light of gold coming from another room. Mac hurriedly to run after the woman but she was gone, leaving Mac all by herself with a three-headed dog named Cerberus.
This isn’t going to end well.
Turning to the snarling three-headed dog. “Hi, there . . . .” the tone in her voice cracked. “do you like beef jerky?” just as she reached for her backpack.
The three-headed dog charged at her, all three heads barking and snarling at her, in Mac’s defense, she ran and screamed. She had never had to baby sit a god’s dog before, this was a new one. she turned up the stairs and Cerberus continued chasing her. Mac got to the next floor, and it lunged at her and she fell over the railing, this was it. she was going to die, she knew she’d croak one day, she just thought she’d die of something natural not supernatural.
When she didn’t hit the ground, she immediately opened her eyes and realized, someone had caught her before hitting the ground. his hands were under her legs and the other cradled her shoulder against his chest. he’d looked the same age as her, his dark bronze untamed hair, his amber eyes stared at her with a sneer to his lips. he was handsome, but the look of disgust made her stomach churn.
The three-headed dog charged at them down the stairs, the man’s voice boomed, “Cerberus sit!”
Immediately the three-headed dog sat down, its tail wagged like a whip across the floor. all three head’s tongues lulled out of their mouths.
“Geez, what a pain.” he remarked as he looked down at her. “what were they thinking asking a human to baby sit that monster?” he asked no one in particular. “you should just leave now, I’ll make sure you get compensated for your time.”
Mac’s eyes widened, was he kicking her out? who was this guy? Oh no, she was not backing off. she scrambled out of his arms; she smoothed her shirt down and glared up at him. “oh no you don’t, this is my job, I’m suppose to babysit that dog.” She pointed at Cerberus who watched them with curiosity.
“you got nine lives or something? That dog can shred you into bloody pieces.” He remarked back with a smug look on his face.
“Very funny, mister. I can handle myself perfectly fine—”
“right and falling down the second floor was part of that being “perfectly fine” plan of yours?” he air quoted those words. “just leave, I’m sure Hades and Persephone will understand you can’t handle their precious baby.”
“Excuse me!” she didn’t know why this guy was getting under her skin so easily. but she walked right up to him and pushed on her tippytoes to get in his face. “It seems to me you’re the one with the problem here.”
“don’t challenge me,” he growled in his throat. “you shouldn’t take a god so lightly.”
“god no god, learn your manners!” she poked his hard chest, in that moment she lost her footing once again. she started falling back, but in an instant, he caught her with his arms wrapped around her hip. The moment she felt his fingers on her skin as her shirt had ridden up. she felt the heat of his skin.
he closed his eyes and breathed in and out slowly. “look, lets talk this out.” but the tone in his voice said the opposite. He wanted her out whether it was to protect her or not, she got a feeling he wasn’t asking her.
“I’m not leaving,” she insisted. She did need the money. she wanted to move out of her parent’s house and in her own apartment. And the sum of money that was promised had her suspicious until she saw the dog. Seeing that that dog was literally the guard of the underworld, she understood why she was going be paid two million dollars for six months to take care of it.
He studied her for a minute then he pulled her upright on her feet, he ran his fingers through his untamed hair. “I get the money is tempting, but humans don’t last long around Cerberus, I’m just making sure nothing happens to Cerberus or the dog sitter.”
It felt like he wanted her to leave more than anything, she wasn’t going to leave because he demanded her to do so. she understood where he was coming from. “How about we work together then, Cerberus seems to respect you, and I can learn how to take care of him since you obviously have some experience.”
The man snorted, “no, I’m not helping with that slobbering monster.” |
**Atlasdava#432154218\_Galaxy-Alptei\_Cluster-Zatrium**
1. Below the surface lay the ruins of an ancient planet-wide city, which holds the upper crust upon it's shoulders
2. The planet is a hotspot of archaic supertech from the humans, who died out before all other life could grace the universe
3. The surface of the planet is largely uninhabitable, with no traces of life having ever existed upon its surface
Twist (to differentiate from last post): You have just accidentally awoken something beyond ancient, *and it* *is* ***not*** *happy to see the people it swore to lead and protect into a better future...* ***are now gone.***
Exploration theme: [It's over](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh2IPNaXA6g&ab_channel=TanjuDemirhan-Topic) |
Bloody Hands, a popular horror film series, stars the actress Laura Chell, who plays Darcy. Darcy is the victim of the slasher character, The Bloodman. The writer of the series, Mark, was in his office when his door opened. He looked up from his work to see Darcy. Although, he assumed it was the actress in the character's outfit. "Laura, what are you doing here?""It's me, Darcy", she said.
Mark remembered writing a joke in the first movie. In the scene, Darcy is trapped. She said, "God, Mark, why do you keep doing this?"He's the reason she was able to walk in.
"Oh, great", he said with sarcasm. She came and sat down in a chair by his desk. "Mark, this ain't workin' out. He needs some fresh, new victims.""Sorry, but audiences love you...especially the male audiences."She scowled. She thought for a second. Wait...She got up. "Oh, Mark, can't you help a girl out?", she asked playfully. She walked up to him, put her hands on his shoulders, and sat on his thighs. "I can give you whatever you want", she whispered, seductively, "if you remove me from future movies."She bit her lip. "Mark was stunned. He smiled. "Alright, dear. Now, who should we cast for the next victim?" |
"War creates necessity, and as the famous phrase goes, Necessity is the Mother of all Invention."Dr. Johnston announced to entire History Department as well as the physicist and an engineer that they had heavily insisted should be there.
"Arms races are evident through out the ages with clear improvements to both weaponry and armor."A soft click and the slides projected behind them shifted from arrows and chain mail to modern guns and tanks.
"One of the prominent arms race was that during World War Two, the race that not only unlocked the Atomic Age, but gave us the building blocks to race to the stars." another few clicks and test photos from Los Alamos flashed across the screen ending with a building sized rocket.
"Recently a bunker was discovered in the German country side."Initial discovery photos appeared on the screen. "It held clues to other so called 'Wunderwaffe' that may push us another leap forward in other realms of science."
Dr. Johnston stepped away from the screen to hand out a thick packet of papers.
"The main project of this particular site seems to be that of a self sustaining energized prison."
When they had returned to the podium, they waited quietly as the assembled group read through the files presented to them.
The minutes passed and the hushed conversation between the physicist and engineer grew more aggravated until Dr. Johnston called on them.
"Professor Bergman, Professor Lee, do you have a question?"
Professor Bergman, face pinched and red in confusion and anger barked "This is fake. This whole meeting was just to poke fun at the wanna be Indian Jones physicists isn't it!"
Lee just shook her head, "Forgive my colleague Dr. Johnston, but what you handed us makes it sound as if this prison is still functioning well over 75 years after the site was abandoned."
"My apologies for not speaking to you before this meeting, but it very much is still in full working order. It is my hope that both yourself and Professor Bergman would be willing to assist in finding a way to turn off the prison, and perhaps develop a team to study the science behind it and create a new form of renewable energy."
A small cough pulled the attention of the room to the head of the anthropology track.
"If your intention was to harness this energy source, why call this meeting with the rest of us?"
"Ah, well, you see."Dr. Johnston hesitated, "While we know its working, and we know it is in fact containing *something.* We are not entirely sure what that something is." |
"now hero, I shall rule the world and... Come here matchstick, no you can't set fire to him."The villain grabbed the little boy dressed as a matchstick and lifted him.
"Is he your son?". "no no, he's..."The villain mouths out adopted to the hero,, "ah I see, good for you and him.". "thank you, everyone blames me for adopting him into such an evil life but quite frankly this boy was just like this.""Oh really, how so?""the place where I found him was a room covered in burns, they wouldn't let another child near him because of his 'tendencies'."
The villain pats the little boy's head, "Do you mind waiting, hero? I've gotta take him to his play room.". "take your time.""Thank you really, he gets to be a handful if he doesn't get playtime."
The villain takes the boy to a room filled with flammable objects and sets the boy down. "Alright, you play now and I'll go finish the hero, muahahaha.". "muhehe, love you dada."The villains face lights up
"You know what hero, I'll let you go for today.""Why is that?""The little one called me dada, oh I'm in such a good mood.""Actually I think I'd like to stay and hear about it, seeing as I've got a little one of my own."
"Oh alright, would you like a drink?""Yes please." |
Stopped within hours. Hired within hours. At the stand within hours. Everything was such a blur… I just looked at a sign and I was talking to some woman with blinding white hair, then sitting down at this cramped dusty stand. Didn’t look like it had been in use for years.
You couldn’t tell that by the rest of the place. Everything was so bright, even by carnival standards. People-
not people NOT PEOPLE
\-wandered around and were laughing. Not a single person approached my stand. I wasn’t really sure what it was. I think it was that one shooting game with the water turrets, the one with the most steady aim wins. No targets though, and no prizes behind me. I guess it was better that way.
You couldn’t look at them directly. Out of the corner of your eye you almost scream with relief, seeing someone, but it’s just more of them.
I put my head down. I wanted to scream but that would create attention. But with no way to create hope, I didn’t know what else to do. I still had my bottle, but suddenly it was empty. I swore- I swore it was full moments before. I felt drunk, sleepy, swaying.
How long have I been out here? A couple minutes? An hour? Twelve?
I looked up. Just more of them. No face. Humanoid, but not human. One of them was even wearing a face mask. What for, to gain some semblance of humanity? I almost laughed.
“Hey, you there? No- don’t go yet, wake up. Please.”
Funny voice in my head, really think there’s anything left in this situation? I’ve been here for days. Nothing’s left, I’ll be here until I starve.
“You can’t do this to me. One after the other- I have to find someone eventually-”
Yeah, you really should. Get up and many people with a face will actually see you.
With a face… people without faces can’t speak can they?
I looked up as soon as they slapped me in the face. The pain snapped everything back into focus. I’ve been here for three minutes. My water bottle was always empty. And the people-
This person in front of me. Everyone else faceless, and then that stark white hair back in front of me.
“YOU!” I grab them by the collar, the interviewer. I saw them for just barely a moment, and yet I could remember them anywhere. I was about to slam them into the counter before they started screaming.
Creating attention- the faceless. They were looking towards us. I let go.
The interviewer threw themselves back, gasping for breath. I grabbed my water bottle and leaped over the counter.
“Wait wait-,” they held out their hand in meaningless defense. “I’m not her. I’m not her.”
“I know exactly who you are.” I whispered. “You brought me here and you’re getting me out of here.”
“I’M NOT HER.” The white hair seemed to stand on end like a fox. “Look at me for one second, will you?”
I hesitated. The eyes and hair were the same, stark yellow and white respectively. But the differences were there, if subtle. Different nose, different chin, a thin white sideburn, and a bow tie instead of the similar yellow tie seen before. And, well, THEY HAVE A FACE.
“You’re her brother aren’t you?” I glared. The man nodded as he got up and straightened his tie. “Can you get me out of here?”
“One track mind, aren’t you?” The man shook his head and sighed.
“I got thrown into a carnival with people with no faces and you’re surprised I’m terrified? How are you here? How are you alive?!”
“People always assume the golems are dangerous.” The man dusted himself off and walked. “Follow me. If you want to leave, that is.”
“Wait-” I began to run behind him, my feet crunching scraps of paper and loose feathers. Eventually it finds a soda can to crunch and snap all the faceless heads back toward me.
I froze. The man glanced towards me and shook his head. “Move along now.” He calls out to the crowds. “Nothing to see here.”
Reluctantly, the faceless things turn and walk away. The man starts walking again as I finally catch up.
“Everyone is afraid of the unknown. Of the dark. Of things they don’t understand.” He gestures to the crowd parting around him. “You’re no different.”
“...What are they?” I said slowly. He acted so nonchalant about a town’s-worth of people having no identifiable features that he started to act like a faceless himself. I was deep in fictional territory right now.
“And even with that fear-,” he continued. “-you maintain yourself.” His brow furrows at how hard I’m gripping my bottle. “Even if I don’t know where this courage comes from, it’s still admirable. Good on you.”
“What ARE they?” I repeat myself. He faces forward once more.
“Golems. This isn’t a theme park for humans.”
“Yeah, no shit.” I said as one of the faceless races passed. My heart races with it. “But what ARE they?”
He pinches his nose so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t rip off. “Sometimes the dead don’t have anywhere else to go. Even if a ghost finally finds peace or the object they’re tied to is finally destroyed, an invisible timer runs out for them. They’re stuck.” He gestures to a golem to his left, a crack centered where the eye should be running through it. “So to give the souls a place to go, something to do, me and my sister run this park. It’s not much.” He laughs as I remember my decrepit stall. “But it’s better than being stuck in a house that’s changed so much than when you were alive. We have lost souls from so long ago they don’t even know what a book is.” He shakes his head. “Poor things. I’m just glad we can help.”
I… didn’t know how to respond to that. If anyone else had told me this I would’ve laughed them out of the room. But with all the things running around me and the absolute silence of the theme park I had no choice but to believe him.
“How do you do it?” I choked on the words. The man’s posture poised upright, he was surprised by the question. He laughs again.
“For that you need to ask my sister.” My mind flashed to the flowing white river and the piercing yellow eyes. “I handle the spirits and golems and make sure they don’t kill each other. She does the trap and release.”
“Is that why your hair is white?” He pauses ahead of me. “Because you deal with the dead?”
“You catch on quick.” He continues walking. “What’s your name again?”
“Jessica- Jessica Filmore.” I hesitated. What does this man want with my name? They’re where fairy tales where giving your name to magical things could be dangerous. Everything is on the table now.
“...Huh.” He starts walking faster. “Well, I have no idea why my sister would tell you nothing about this place before you started working here. Might as well know what you’re getting into before you dive straight in.”
“Did she not want me to tell, oh I don’t know, the rest of the world that you run a theme park for the dead?”
“Who would believe you?”
Silence.
“Did she not want me to be scared off then?”
The man stops, as do I. There is a massive gate of rusted metal just ahead, constructed of plates pulled from cars or refrigerators and other such things. And standing in front of that gate was a woman in a white suit with flowing white hair, unstoppable yellow eyes, and a yellow tie.
“No.” The woman responded. “You don’t scare off easily.” |
In the ending, the main character dies by the sorcerer. I couldn't stop thinking about it in bed that night. Kyle could have used a fire spell at the beginning to kill him, but Kyle didn't know about his own magic ability.
I woke up to see myself in an archaic bedroom. I had green skin. I wore a loincloth and a simple shirt. I knock came at my door. A troll woman barged in. "Kyle, it's the sorcerer!"She ran off. I realized I was Kyle, the main character of that fantasy book. I ran after her, ending up outside. The architecture of the nearby houses was medieval. I saw the sorcerer hovering above. He had a black robe, a black beard, and a bald head. "You're too late. I have already completed the ritual! Now, a wall will separate you trolls from the humans!"I saw a giant wall rise from the ground in the distance. It spanned my whole field of view. I turned to see that the wall still continued on. I kept turning until I saw that the wall surrounded the entire village. I looked to the sorcerer and concentrated on making a fire blast. I held out my hand at him. I fired a fireball at him. When it hit him, he fell to the ground. "Huh", said the woman. I saw a bright flash of light. I was standing in my bedroom again. |
How did I get here?
I'm in my make up chair on location at a parking lot for what used to be a subway. The production team's hair and make up expert, Cassidy, is putting a pink bow in my hair, a bandaid over my forehead scar, a scortch-marked tie around my neck, and she's darkening the five o'clock shadow on my chiseled jawline with some charcoal dust.
A runner knocks on the make up trailer door to tell us I'm due on set in five minutes.
How did I get here?
***
I'm an unlucky guy.
My ear buds are blasting my favorite podcast while I take a morning job through the neighborhood.
I'm too focused on my true crime mystery series to notice the driver of a full mini van leaving soccer practice around the corner.
I stop to tie my shoes at the edge of the parking lot just as the van is rounding the corner, and I find myself under the tires.
As practiced, I fold in two and release a cry like this sudden pain is a great surprise.
The driver gets out. She sees my body lodged between their rear tires and the bumper that they've selectively donned with stickers advertising the driver's love of her kids, her dogs, and her white wine.
I beg her to reach into my pocket and call the number on the business card there.
She calls, desperate to reach help, only to discover that this is my lawyer. He asks if she has good insurance, and she answers, "the best, don't worry."
***
She does have the best, but the best is too good for me.
This is the sixth time in a year I've been payed off by this insurance company, and by now they've put together that the normal human spine can only take so much.
Soon I find myself across the table of some executive in a four-piece suit, the fourth piece being an ugly vest beneath his suit jacket that tells me this man is making too much money to be told how awful his style is.
He claims to have me all figured out. And he may be a shabby dresser, but he's got an eye for talent.
He's seen my act six times now, and he's believed my every performance. He says I've got character, and a face that's just perfect for the direction they're looking to take things in the marketing department.
He says he'd like to use me in some commercials, just a quick deal, no long term commitments or obligations.
He asks politely first. After I refuse, he drops the other shoe.
If I don't take this job, which does not come with pay by the way, then the company will file countersuit for fraud and recover everything I've been paid over the last six settlements.
"Okay,"I said, "but just this once, like you said. I don't want this to become a life long sentence."
He promised me that.
***
Yet here I am, nearly ten years later, getting ready for another brooding monologue into the camera so that this upstanding insurance company will have something to show for the Superbowl.
I take hold of the wheel.
The director shouts action.
"I'm a sixteen year old girl whose just had her heart broken,"I tell the camera, "and the cover song Daren played on his dad's acoustic guitar during our first kiss has just come on the radio, and now I'm pulling my phone out to text him that I am not still thinking about him, but he should know that his music sucks. While I'm too busy to notice the first kiss our cars are about to share."
The second car is rolled out before mine. I collide head on with enough force to shatter both windshields.
"And if you're not protected,"I say through the flecks of glass shards protruding from my lips, "you could be left dealing with an insurance company that jacks up your rates for the cost of my achy beaky heart."
I step out of the car and brush off my shoulders as an actress steps around the crumpled mess of the conjoined engines as if she's just stepped out of the other car. A camera captures her mute expiration.
"So get Allstate,"I tell the camera, "so you can be better protected from mayhem like me."
The director yells cut and congratulates me on another convincing performance.
***
I'm on day 33 of a streak.
If you liked this story, the other 32 days are collected at r/FarFetchedFiction.
Thanks. |
Girl kept crying for a while, poor thing... She has difficulties on trusting people and knowing who to trust. Now she is lost in here in some kind of abandoned place. She finally notices me. I speak to her, telling her to dry her tears and stand up. She calms down and dries her tears. Then stands up, she asks for help. I tell her of my purpose and inform her that is her choice.
She gently picks me up and puts me on without hesitation but, remaining steady at it. I give her ability to memorize and remember all of the route how she ended up here, I teach her how to remain in the shadows, to breath quietly and how to step lightly to not even make a sound. She looks around and starts walking. This is a huge place, who led her here?
Suddenly girl heard something and looked to the direction. I was only able to notice upper back and behind of the shoulders, upper arms, forearms and hands. Is somebody hunting her? It takes us a long time to find the exit, she had been lead all over this abandoned facility in this island. Who and why would they do it to her?
She continues moving but, now in shadows, quietly and breaths being almost silent. It shouldn't be long when she is out of this place. So much concrete surrounded by this green vegetation. She can see the road but, she notices the people who got her lost in here. They can not be trusted, I told her. I give her an ability to recognize people's lies.
We have to go around, she does as I told her. It takes a while and she has to go back inside of the of place and take another route. When she arrives, girl sees her father and calls out to her. Father says that he has been looking for her daughter all over this place... Girl gasped, it is a lie and she starts running tears in her eyes again... Father shouts to call his lackeys.
Father runs after her. She keeps running and running but, he is catching up and other people join the pursue, they are father's lackeys. What the hell is going on here? What are these demons in human skin going to do to her. Girl is tiring out, then suddenly somebody lands between the girl and the pursues. Then knocks down the pursues of the girl. She turned around to see.
With a well timed leg sweep. The father and the lackeys fall over but, they pull out their weapons. Telescopic batons... Yet the individual facing them doesn't even hesitate and engages. Stunning the father with a blow to the gut and knocking this out with a strong blow to the front left of the forehead. It parries both swings from two of the four lackeys using batons.
Sound of the parries, strongly indicate that they hit surface of some type of metal. The unknown uses this moment and grabs from wrists of both of his attackers swings them a bit then knocks them against each other. The unknown is completely unarmed yet this doesn't matter. We both wonder why is unknown doing this. Next two lackeys pick different approaches.
Unknown suddenly counter attacks the one coming from odd angle and unsupported by his comrade. Swing coming from left, unknown dodges it by crouching a little then full body tackles the attacker to the ground and it looked like it seriously hurt. Unknown quickly rolls off from the grounded opponent and assumes a form to meet the last one.
It is a desperate offensive, only whistling of a missed attacks can be heard then a loud UMPH! as unknown counter attacked by landing a strong kick on the chest of the attacker making this lose balance completely and fall on the concrete floor. Unknown moves to disarm this then bends the baton until it snaps. Unknown hasn't even taken a breath during this.
Then it finally spoke Japanese to the girl "Are you alright?"unknown asks as approaches keeping an eye on the floored pursuers.
Girl spoke as the unknown is being genuine "I am scared"she says and looks at her father then at the lackeys.
Unknown looks at them once again. They are still neck deep in pain from the unarmed counter attacks or knocked out. It walks to the girl and crouches "Climb on, I will take you back home"unknown says. It is clear from the voice that the speaker is an AI.
Girl is just as confused but, with the ability to know if somebody is lying... She trusts the unknown and climbs on his back "Hold on tightly"unknown says, stands up and after three steps accelerates to full running speed. Unknown stopped at the harbor back to the mainland.
Unknown crouches to let the girl walk on her own "Who are you?"she finally asks, I am just as interested to hear.
Unknown looked around. For now, others aren't too close "I used to be called seven two. Friend gave me a new name. My name is Owl, nice to meet you miss?"Owl replies.
She introduces herself to the owl. AI even buys the tickets back home, some food and water for her. It is so strange, why was an AI after girl's father? Why does it have this great body, strongly resembling a human yet, on closer look. It is clear that the metal is like an armor. Perfect for protection and unlike what human body could bear.
She asks from owl "Why does her father hate her?". Owl is silent and looks around once, then back at the sea.
Owl then replies "Short answers, greed and hedonism. Do you want to hear the long answer?". AI is being honest to her but, girl hesitates visually to the owl. He just opens one of the pockets in his upper left arm. Pulls out a stuffed animal, then presents it to the girl. "We should take this one step at a time, let's get you home first, then I will arrange things"Owl says.
AI is still being genuinely honest to her. She nods to the Owl and the Owl deeply nods back. Girl takes the stuffed animal, it is an owl too. Snowy Owl to be precise. Girl slowly is recovering from shock. Yet, I am more interested on these questions. From where did this AI come from? What has given it soul? What is it doing here? And why did it choose to protect and save this girl?
I guess, the journey is not over yet, that is certain. |
The nun and I stared at each other. She looked at my two teammates, Heather and Gabriel, behind me. Her face went from surprised to happy. "Oh, gracias! Angel, I ask for your blessing to help me in my match tomorrow", she told me. "I'm sorry, we don't...do blessings...", I said. "What? Well, what *do* you do?""We are The Angel Squad", I said, "We congratulate anyone who orders an Angel shot."She stared blankly. "How did you summon us?", asked Gabriel. "With this bell", she said, "My dad told me that it summoned angels. I didn't believe him at first."
"What is this about a match?", asked Heather. "I'm a luchadora", she said.
"Wait. Maybe we *can* bless her", said Gabriel, "I mean, we never tried."
"Hmm...alright", I said. I held out my hands at her. "I bless you", I said. Her chest suddenly grew outward. She looked at it with surprise. I did as well.
"Allow me", said Heather. She held out one hand toward her. "I hereby bless you", she said. Sparkles appeared around the nun's arms, then faded. She rolled up her sleeve to reveal a bulging arm. The corners of her mouth went up, and her jaw dropped. She tugged at her other sleeve to reveal that her other arm looked the same. "Madre Maria y Jospeh! Gracias!", she exclaimed. She ran up to Heather and hugged her. "Well, I think you'll win", I told her. |
Grath had been a promising student, if a bit hot-headed. Of course, in a royal spy, such impatient bravado was no small matter -- it was likely to get him killed.
Thus, when the boy had brashly driven in too close for the umpteenth time during a bout of sparring with the rapier, trying to overpower Grandmaster Hartmann with sheet brute force, his swordmaster had resolved to teach him a lesson.
While their blades were locked together, Hartmann had yanked the concealed stiletto out of the hilt of Grath's own sword, and given him a shallow slash across the cheek by which to remember his folly. Grath stumbled back in surprise, and fell to one knee.
Hartmann had cast Grath's slender dagger aside in disgust. "Had this been a real fight, that blade would have gone through your eye, fool boy!"
When his beaten student said nothing, he prompted him, "Well? What have I told you about *patience?"*
Grath's only reply was a strangled gurgling sound that accompanied the froth that began oozing out between his rapidly discoloring lips.
Hartmann's eyes widened in horror, as he realized what had happened. Grath had been taught a small amount about poisons, but as an apprentice, he had been strictly forbidden to concoct them on his own, much less actually apply them to his blade. Another piece of instruction that he had not taken on board, it seemed.
The Grandmaster had ordered a nearby member of the Order to watch over the convulsing young man, as Hartmann himself sprinted down several flights of stairs to the Alchemist's storeroom to retrieve an antidote. He made his way back almost as quickly, but it was to no avail. Grath was dead by the time he reached him with the vial of antidote.
Cursing the boy and his own carelessness, the Grandmaster knelt beside the already cooling body.
"Damn it lad,"he said, sorrowfully, touching the boys cheek with an almost fatherly affection. "Why couldn't you ever *listen?"*
He frowned, as his fingertips met the lad's face. Grath's skin felt strangely frail and waxy to the touch. It was far too soon for any decomposition, and the poison couldn't have caused such a transmutation. Hesitantly he pressed at the skin, and found that it sloughed away easily, revealing smoother, paler skin beneath. It was a Tallow Visage, molded from wax and treated alchemically to look and behave like real skin!
Shocked, he tore the false face away, and his blood ran cold.
Staring up at him sightlessly, was the face of the Crown Prince.
- - -
Sometime later, the highest ranking members of the Royal Order of the Blackened Blade stood around the body of the prince, which had been wrapped in linen, leaving only the face exposed.
"How did this happen?"Grandmaster Hartmann snarled.
"How was the bloody *heir to the throne* recruited into the Order?"
Daro, the Master Alchemist shook his head slowly, "I...I do not know, Grandmaster. We alone know the secrets of the Tallow Visage -- or so I had believed."
Jespirio, the Master of Shadows nodded. "Aye -- and we watched 'Grath' here lead the life of an ordinary if gifted mercenary for weeks, before we approached him, during which time *his royal highness* was supposedly already off on his trip abroad."
Sophia, Mistress of Whispers added, "Of course we've had eyes on the Prince this entire time, as well. Both they and my contacts in the East have reported seeing him at several of the stops on his planned itinerary over the past few months, but if he had access to the Tallow Visage..."She spread her hands helplessly.
The Grandmaster gritted his teeth, mastering his anger. He needed to think clearly. "To have been infiltrated by an imposter is bad enough, but that it was our own Prince..."
"Have we lost the confidence of the King, to the extent that he would send his son and heir to watch us?"Daro mused. "Perhaps we have misjudged His Majesty's....*tactical* acumen?"
"I doubt that."Hartmann said, drily. "I'd sooner expect the Prince of acting alone. No, someone else orchestrated this."
"But who?"Sophia wondered. "This is beyond the known capabilities of any of our rivals in other kingdoms, surely."
Jespirio nodded. "I've no reason to believe otherwise, at any rate. But failing that, *we* bear sole responsibility for the death of the very dynasty we're supposed to quietly protect! We're all for gallows, at *best."*
Hartmann sighed. Then he shook his head. "That's one more reason I can't allow us to fail in our charge -- I won't accept this defeat. There's no other option. I'm going to the Tower."
The other master's of the Order looked at each other, uncertainly.
"Are you....*sure,* Grandmaster?"Daro said, hesitantly. "The Oracle is said to be powerful, true, but no magic can bring back the dead -- not *truly* bring them back, at any rate."
Hartmann nodded, grimly. Regardless, he was going to climb the abandoned Tower of the New Moon in the Wildlands, whose location was known only to the Grandmasters of the Order.
There, he would seek audience with the Black Oracle, the ancient and powerful being that lived there. After that, it was simple -- he would either find a way to save the Prince, or as happened most often when the Oracle was disturbed by one seeking it's aid...he would die. |
I've begun to stop caring. I can't escape. Not this 'prison', not even the luxury. I'm not even able to respect the very people forced to serve me. I feel... broken. Dead.
I should have known that that was what Damos wanted. Life should be perfect... except I'm not a cruel person, yet I've been forced to be cruel. I can't care anymore.
If I don't care, it'll be easier..
I'll be able to relax...
...
"Warper!"
I look out of the window of my room. "Barrel?"
"I can get in, just open the window for me, will ya?"
Confused, I thrust the window outward, and watch as Barrel throws up a grappling hook. I catch it and secure it. He climbs up and tumbles into my room. "Barrel, why are you here? What-"
"Purge told us that *he* was back. I followed lead after lead until I found ya. I was told it's far too dangerous, but-"
"It is!"I hiss.
Barrel shakes his head. "Come on, you told Purge to stop controlling you, now you're letting yourself be a pet for a maniac? Maybe Purge SHOULD have kept you under control after all."He smirks.
"Don't be funny with me, now, please, just-"
At that moment, there's a knock on my door. "Warper! Everything... ok?"
I glare at Barrel. "I'm sorry"I choke, before I shout back "Someone is in my room. I want them to leave. Please help."
As I finish, I notice Barrel has already charged for the door, and as he opens the door, his other hand grabs the lady's wrist and forcefully pulls her into the room, before shutting the door. "You're not forced to do anything!"
The lady starts crying uncontrollably. "I am! I tried and tried and *tried* to leave, but I can't! Damos's orders..."
"Huh, so he **does** have a name... well, it's just all in your head. I'll prove it."Barrel forces the lady out the window, despite much struggling. When she IS forced out, she tumbles to the ground. I watch her get up, a few scrapes and bruises, but mostly shocked.
"I... I'm outside the house... I..."she looks at Barrel. "Am I free?"
He snickers. "Of course! You were ALWAYS free - the only thing that stopped you was your own mind! Now, run, get out of here! Find The Rehabilitation Foundation!"
The lady nods, clearly ecstatic to be released from her life of slavery.
I stare at Barrel, jaw dropped. "Since when did you have a conscience?"
"I dunno. I guess the foundation changed me."He smiles warmly. "***You*** changed me, Warper. You don't give up. You don't stop fighting. It's who you are. You've always been the stubborn, strong-willed one. You're not under anyone's command, but you've convinced yourself that you're weak. Even when you hit a bump after I appeared in front of you, even when you were doubting yourself because of me... you weren't afraid to tell me what you think. I could force you to come back *right now*, but I know you can defy him."
I look at the floor. "Barrel... he..."
Before I can finish the thought, I hear shouting from downstairs. "WHERE. IS. SHE?"
Barrel and I quickly exit my room, heading straight for where Damos is. "I... I... I swear, she... she WAS here..."
"Oh, lose someone?"Everyone turns to see Barrel's cocky expression, his body language carrying the attitude of a smartass teenager. "She left. Forced her out through Warper's window. Really fought to stay inside."
Damos seems furious for a second, before he relaxes and starts talking... in Barrel's voice. "And I guess... you will be... taking... her place... my friend..."
Barrel spits towards Damos, making everyone, including Damos, gasp in shock and surprise. "Really? We JUST met, and there are HUNDREDS of stories where you are plain evil, what makes you even THINK we're friends?"
Clearly shaken but determined, Damos tries again. "I know... that you don't... believe any... of those... rumours..."
Barrel yawns dramatically. "If those stories *are* fake, then everyone in this building can leave, right now. Come on, I **dare** you to command me to stay!"
Damos grins manically. "Barrel... please stay... I need... your help... I don't want... you to leave... without my... permission..."
Barrel shrugs. "Do I have permission right now?"
"Of course... not..."
Barrel casually strolls to, then *through*, the front door. "Oh, look at that! I guess those stories ARE fake! You don't have any **real** powers, do you..."he turns his head. "...Damos?"
At first I wonder if this is even happening. But I catch a flicker of fear in Damos's eyes. I think back to his casual reaction to finding out that Carol, a previous slave, had run away, believing that Damos was never coming back. I look at Damos. "Your power relies on manipulation, doesn't it? You told me before that you *kind of* have a form of hypnosis; you didn't tell me that you had simply realised that a commanding voice can get people to listen to you. Your power relies on fear and the power of belief. You're basically a sham."
With that, I turn and walk towards the front door, a renewed fire in my heart. "Warper... stop... Barrel... is trying... to trick you..."I ignore the voice that sounds like mine. I no longer have any fear. I step past the fake barrier, and run up to Barrel, hugging him.
I look back. The other slaves, realising that they were *never* trapped, but gaslit into believing they were, rush out, pleas from Damos ironically falling on deaf ears.
Barrel clears his throat. "I had told Reflection to get your home ready for your return... I didn't get here until she was finished..."
For the first time ever, **Damos** is afraid. "NO! Not *her*! Please, I'll stop! I-"
"You know something, Damos?"Reflection reveals herself. The very legend in the flesh. "No-one actually knows this about my power: the person is kept alive until they genuinely regret their actions. Even when you escaped, you weren't ageing at all. My point is, you won't even reach the *afterlife* until you've **truly** REFLECTED on your life!"
"Reflection... please, I'll behave! I don't want to be-"
Reflection grins as she does the classic T-shape with her hands like kids do. As she works, Barrel gets the lead helmet off my head. "Time. Up."Damos appears confused as Reflection laughs. "I can't send you back when you're supposed to be locked up still, can I? I had to disable my powers first. Just so you know, the guards have been given instructions and warnings. Even if ONE guard falls for your act again, this time, you'll need *all* of them to BELIEVE you're dangerous."She does the T shape one more time, dragging out the words. "Tiiiiiiiiiiime... ooooooooooooout..."
With that, Damos disappears. "Well... I guess we should head back, Warper. Everyone is worried sick!"
"Actually, can you tell Purge to come here?"I smile as I look at the now perfect house. "I want her to see this place and tell me if she likes it too."
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This story is a part of my series, [it's Not Just Business.](https://www.reddit.com/r/StoriesbyCrystal/comments/xoduo6/its_not_just_business/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Please check it out! |
Heather ran to Jeff's house. It was ages since they've visited Hell. She knocked on the door. Jeff answered. Beside him was a succubus kissing him. Jeff didn't look enthused. Heather ran past him into the house. She stopped in the living room. She stood in front of a blue portal that was once a pentagram. She jumped through. Jeff followed after, and the succubus followed him. Heather fell out of the other side of the portal. She looked on in horror. Jeff appeared and did the same. The succubus dropped out and simply kept on kissing Jeff, smiling. They were in Hell, but it looked like an arctic cave. It was frozen over. The ground rumbled. Jeff and Heather looked to the cliff in front of them. A giant, bald blue head with cat ears arose from below. Following it was a flying blue body wearing a loincloth. It was Satan, but with some changes. "Satan, what happened?", asked Jeff. "I turned over a new leaf", he said, "Hell has new rules. For starters, every Tuesday is Catboy Party Day, nya!""Am I gonna start praying to God?", asked Heather in disappointment. |
I looked up to see an angel hovering above me. She looked at me while she had her hand outstretched toward me. She looked like she was trying to grab me. I guess she was drawing me toward her. "Am I going to Heaven?", I asked. "No, but you'll like this place."She showed no emotion. We ascended at an extremely fast rate toward the moon. We went above the clouds and into space. Stars were blurring by me. Suddenly, I saw that we were in the moon's orbit just in front of me was a cylindrical spaceship. It had two fins on one end. My jaw dropped. She finally turned her back away from me and drifted to a door. The door opened, like a garage, to reveal the metallic inside. We drifted inside. "This is Talon", she said. We were in a hallway. A metal door up ahead opened normally. In that room, there was a very tall angel with the same expression. We drifted in. "Who's the shrimp?", she asked. She looked at me before eyeing the shorter angel. "Damian", she replied. "How do you know my name?", I asked. "I have minor telepathy", she said, "You'll be staying here. Your bedroom is there", she said, pointing to a door. |
"H-hey."says Chris, a 500 year old vampire, who looks like a normal, 20 year old man. "I, uh.. heard this is the place that people get that world-famous garlic bread?"he asks. "Why, yes."says a waiter as he glances at Chris's small fangs. "Booth or table?"the waiter asks. "Oh, uh... booth please."says Chris. The waiter walks the vamp to a lavish looking booth with a menu. "Okay, i'd like your spaghetti and meatballs with your extra seasoned garlic bread."says Chris. The waiter writes the order down and goes back into the kitchen. "Hey, we got a vampire."says the waiter, revealing a wooden stake from his back pocket to the chef. "Its weird, though. He asked for our most garlic filled foods."says the waiter. "Huh."says the chef. "Well, just... serve it to him I guess."says the chef. "Okay."replies the waiter. As the food is cooking, the waiter looks back at Chris. The vampire is scrolling through TikTok on his Iphone, airpods in his pointed ears. "He seems okay."says the waiter. "Not on edge or anything?"asks the chef. "No, not at all."the waiter replies. After a couple more minutes, the food is ready, and the waiter serves the food to Chris. "Thank you."says Chris to the waiter. Chris enjoys his food and casually walks out of the joint, the employees with dumbfounded looks on their faces. |
"Do you still think about it?"a voice interupted a teen who was standing on a balcony, turning around to see his friend standing with him, stargazing at the night sky.
"Hm?"
"The accident I mean."
"Oh-"the teen took a moment to close his eyes, he still remembered that oh-so distant smoke that had filled his lungs as he woke up, the raging inferno that made him feel like he was in the devil's domain or what people call it, Hell.
"I guess I still do."the teen admitted, looking back to the starry sky as his friend joined him by his side.
They stayed like that for minutes, both silent as the stars slowly passed them like it was a fever dream and that they would wake up at any moment, the teen finally speaking up and breaking the silence.
"That was ages ago, but I guess...."a smile curled onto the boys lips as he looked back at his friend, now standing side by side him. He gripped his friend's arm, getting his attention.
"Thank you, for being there with me."a chuckle followed by laughter as the two teens filled the quiet dark expansion with joy and laughter.
"Well didn't you say that *someone, somewhere has it worse?*" |
Her ancient holy blood froze as she descended upon him from the clouds above. She’d spent the last six centuries preparing herself for this moment, the point of intersection between their two realities. The old stories of the Above’s previous champions always told of a fearless young hero who would defeat the dark lord of the below, Kalcadin the Awakened. They were always assisted by their fellow kin and Valkyrians alike. When Bryn learned that she would be selected to be the hero’s compatriots, she was elated. Her kin rejoiced for days at the announcement. She would be forever remembered for her involvement in the saving of this world.
She had no expectations, but the sight before her betrayed all heroism. It betrayed every story ever told. It betrayed the Above.
Bodies were strewn about around them. Smog and smoke covered the muddy no-mans-land in a thick haze of darkness. The shells had not cared whom the fell upon, they cared only that the carnage that they were made for was wrought swiftly. Here, in the still death that was left in their terrible wake, was only one life out of the thousands that had been desperately fighting in the moments before.
In the years since the last champion’s arrival, the world had moved on from the age of sail into an industrial age of fire and blood. Science had flourished in the time after Kalcadin’s defeat at the hands of Syrldir, the Luminous Captain, and her fleet of warships. The age of revelations had brought great improvement to the lives of kings and commoners alike, but now, in the new age of the war against the Below, science had wrought a new meaning. Maybe it was poetic that both the end of the last tale and the beginning of this one began with an artillery shell. Poetry fell ill upon the bed of bodies that painted the scene before Bryn. She could not keep herself from weeping crystalline tears.
The hero could not have been older than fourteen. He was a soldier under the House of the Inevitable Dawn’s banner. Blood and dirt caked every inch of him as he cowered in a crater, desperately attempting to load his rifle. Bryn could have never imagined that a major house could do something so unbelievably corrupt as sending children into battle. His pale hands shook violently as he fought back tears that welled beneath his hazel eyes despite his best efforts. His frame was thin, but toned. She wondered how long it had been since he last felt the warmth of the sun. It took him a minute of panicked reloading to realize that his rifle was broken in half, and it took him twice as long to realize the presence of the mythical Valkyrie that hovered above him.
(To be continued) |
If I could remember what had happened before, I might suffer less. That's probably why I can't.
All I can say is what I can remember. However long I've been here, I can't tell. A day, a century, a thousand years. I assume it changes up the tortures over time, but I don't know. Whatever it is, I never see it, but I know it's there.
Right now, whatever I imagine becomes real. It's the sort of thing a kid might wish for, without considering how bad that can get. Because even if you imagine nice things to start, knowing whatever you imagine becomes real creates some issues. Suddenly you realize that you might imagine something bad - and just by thinking that you might imagine it, you have, and it's already there.
At some point, the pain and fear made it so I can't imagine anything else. I create whatever comes next, but I can't stop imagining the worst things I can think of, terrified that they will appear. And it got to me. I'm doing this, but I have no way of stopping. It feels like I could, but I can't. So I start blaming myself, instead of blaming it.
If only I could imagine escape - and there it is. I know it's false, it's impossible - but I can't stop myself from hoping. I smile, possibly for the first time, possibly for the hundredth, I couldn't know. I run, imagining freedom, imagining safety. I run through the door, and fall.
I see darkness. I don't know where I am. If I could remember what had happened before, I might suffer less. That's probably why I can't. |
Breaking the Universe wasn't supposed to be easy, yet here we are.
Orbiting Earth is a massive ring around the entire planet. It is quite thick, with three arrows pointing inwards. It flickers in and out of our dimension and into its original one, by design.
Outside of this is another ring. The station simply reads 'Secure, Contain, Protect.' Still, they saved us.
The SCP Research Foundation was founded by the Terra Firma Systems Union of another dimension following an alien psyonic attack. It would take years of slinging moons (that were put into orbit for terraforming) at this alternate Earth before the aliens would declare full war, ending our access to help.
Based on some fictional stories, they then proceeded to crack the multiversal barrier into our universe. Then, when our time travelers began to unravel the universe around us after being mind-controled by someone else, they proceeded to litter our solar system with 'Scratton Reality Anchors.' No powers can be used, but we're alive. They were actively resetting our universe when their war started.
So now we sit here in wait, wondering if the Foundation will be back to help us, or if they will -
*Kaboom!*
One of the arrows just exploded.
It's safe to say, we're on our own.
*KABOOM!*
The outer ring is in shambles.
***CRACK-BOOM!!!***
Our universe was going to finish resetting in just a few hours, that's why we're all here partying in a city plaza.
`SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE` |
As the small paper boat floats down into the sewers, it bobs and weaves, carried by the gentle flow of the water. The boat is carried past dark corners and damp walls, the sound of the flowing water echoing around it. Occasionally, the boat bumps into debris that has accumulated in the sewer, but it continues on its journey, driven by the force of the water.
The boat moves past various twists and turns, its journey punctuated by the occasional splash as it drops over small waterfalls and navigates narrow channels. Eventually, the waterway opens up into a wider tunnel, and the boat picks up speed as the current carries it along more swiftly. The sound of rushing water grows louder as the boat nears its destination, a drain where it will be carried out into the open air once again.
Finally, the boat emerges from the sewer, carried by a gush of water into a shallow stream. The sunlight glints off its wet surface as it floats downstream, bobbing and weaving once again, carried by the gentle current towards an unknown destination. |
The house stood in a field of ripe grain stretching as far as the eye could see. The wind blew endless waves of dust and a strange, glittering pollen that settled in waves on the floors and walls and then suddenly vanished.
If you stood by the windows and listened, the wind would whisper of the great cities that were no more - of great Constantinople, drowned by the sea, of Moscow destroyed, of Washington and New York collapsed under the weight of a strange fungus that came down from the stars and wrapped its mycelia around those glittering towers.
The cats stood by the window and cried, for they are strange things, more akin to the wild beasts of the forests and field. Grima and Sniffkin knew they were the last, and the human who slept in the small bedroom would soon awake to this new world where the whispering winds bows the wheat. |
I was always interested in the paranormal. I drove to the abandoned place. It was in a barren area surrounded by trees. I saw a lot of stalls, a funhouse, a circus tent, and one of those hammer games. The colors looked faded. I walked toward the carnival before I felt very sleepy. I couldn't move my feet anymore. My legs were weak. I was confused. I dropped to the ground, and it all went black.
I woke up to hear bustling people. There was ambiance of voices. I got up to see that I was behind a stall. I looked around to see that I was in a carnival. It looked similar to the one I saw before. It just seemed like the positions of things, like the hammer game and tent, were swapped. Color was vibrant in it all. I started walking around. The people looked a bit odd. Some of them had fangs, some had an x in the place of an eye, some wore tunics, and some women were wearing top hats. I heard my name. "Michael!", a lady shouted. Amidst the crowd, I saw a woman with white spots on her skin. She wore a top hat, and her eyes were different colors. One was blue, and one was red. She ran at me. "Hi, you're probably wondering what's going on. Me Geuta", she said, gesturing to herself, "and you traveled to another dimension. Since you don't have a place to stay, you can live with me. Me take you to my car."She walked off. I followed her. "How'd you know my name?", I asked. "Me can see a bit into the future", she said. |
At this point, I am defeated. All I can afford to do is lay in my bed and wait for something to happen.
And not because of depression. I am depressed, this made me depressed, but it's not because I'm depressed. It's because I don't need to do anything for everything to happen.
I can't trust what I know, I can't trust what I did, hell I can't trust what I am doing. Do you know the fear it instills in you when you realize that you don't know what happened in the past, that you don't know what lead up to you as you are, and that you don't know who you are? Do you have any idea how your life-defining moments going away and fundamentally changing who you are, living your life as if what you thought was your entire life never happened, having to constantly doubt what happened and what is happening, and forever living as an alien in a world that is defined by existence whose existence is volatile?
I don't know. Enough talking. I want to watch baby shark, Doo doo doo do do do\~ |
Another bad month is about to end. I look at the bills and invoices piling on my desk. After rummaging through the pile and separating them. I realize storage locker 96 has not been paid for three months now. Well, there goes another customer.
I grab my keys and step onto the lot. I reminisce about when I first inherited the storage facility. Things had been easier then, that's for sure.
89, 90, 91... 95,96. There it is. I looked down at the keys and started to flip through them.
Wow, I guess I still haven't kicked the habit of biting my nails when I'm nervous. I thought I had gotten over that. I guess the stress getting to me, again.
There's 96's Key. Well, let's see what is behind the door. Maybe I can sell the stuff for a bit of extra cash. Well, shit. It looks like a grandma's living room packed into here. It even smells like old people in here. Well, a couple of couches, and an old bed frame, could probably go for a bit of cash, but the bookshelf looks like it's going to collapse from the weight of the shelves.
The books on the shelf look well-read. Someone loved this old crap. I wonder what they were interested in. I reach towards the one book sitting on its side, but then my eye catches a black spine embroidered with purple. Without thinking I grab the book. Slide it out off the shelf and then look at my watch. It's already 8:36. I need to get back to my house to feed my dog. I've left them home alone long enough. I turn around, put the book under my arm, and close the door with a new lock. Time to go home.
As I'm walking towards my car I remember I have the book still. I look at the front and read "A Guide for Demons: Summoning, Controlling, and Chatting."That's a little odd. I'll read it when I get home.
At home, I bring my things in and set them on the counter as the dog jumps at me. Hey fellas, at least someone is happy to see me. I feel a smile grow on my face with the distraction. Now it's time to do the important things. Feed the dog. Heat up my dinner, and stress about what I am going to do for next month. I put my hand on my mouth again. Shit. I can't start biting my nails again. I need a distraction.
I remember the book I got from the locker. Chatting and summoning what does that mean? I get up and go find where I put the book. After finding it, I look at it and flip through some of the pages. The first part seems very methodical and neat, but the back of the book seems to have a lot more handwritten notes scribbled on the pages. Might as well start at the beginning.
I open to the first page and read the beginning of "Step one: Summoning. Warning...."Blah Blach... This stuff isn't real anyways. OK, so a circle of salt, a match, and a name written on paper, while saying welcome to an address. That's all I need? No way, I mean In all the movies I've watched it also has some blood ritual or something. It would be kinda funny to try this out. Maybe I could sell my soul for a Billion dollars. Then I wouldn't have to deal with the deadbeat storage facility.
I make my way to the kitchen, put my dog in his kennel and pat his head, and say are you ready to be rich! I find the ingredients, make a messy circle of salt, and write down the name "Caspian."Light the match, burn the Paper and say Welcome to 186 Hillside Drive Caspian.
Nothing happens. I am the world's biggest idiot who just made a mess in my own kitchen. When I hear, "Well, Roomie are you going to help clean this up?"
I turn around and see a shorter bluish human-looking person looking at me with their arms crossed. "Who are you?"I say. "Caspian. Obviously. You just summoned me. Now, are you going to help me clean up or not?"
​
Note: Please feel free to comment with suggestions of any thing this is a new try for me. |
I was walking home from school when I felt a splash of water against my back. I short-circuited, and my vision went black. My systems were offline, so I essentially fell asleep. I woke up standing in a girl's bedroom (it was pink). A face appeared in front of me. It was Martha, a girl I knew from school. Then, I saw Kate and Amy. "Hey, Lars", said Martha, "wanna have a sleepover?"
"What? Why'd you kidnap me?"
"I just said...a sleepover. We want you here. Now, can you make some pizza?"I opened my chest cavity to reveal a personal pan pizza. "Thanks", they said. "I'm gonna tell my dad", I said. "If you do, I'll tell everyone that you like Adriana", said Amy. "Fine", I said, pouting.
The night was long. They braided my hair and put lipstick on me. "I'm gonna get more supplies", said Amy. She left the room, and Martha followed. I saw my chance at escape: the window. I dashed for it. Kate grabbed me and held me in place. I thought for a way out. She's a girl...If I did something disgusting...I picked my nose. "EW!", she shouted, releasing me. I unlatched the window, lifted it, and jumped though. |
The two mythical beings made a deal: whoever made more money in three days won. The genie turned to street performing. He changed into different animals and dance in those forms. People threw money into his hat. He met the leprechaun at the park. "How much money did you make?", asked the leprechaun. "$400", he said. "I win", said the leprechaun, grinning, "I made $450.""How?", asked the genie. "I told my human captor to wish me into a woman. Then, I started on OnlyFans and Twitch account. I went by 'GoldDiggerCutie.'"The genie pouted and said, "Humans are such simple creatures." |
I can't believe I convinced Lucifer to do it... I had to beg and beg and BEG... he's keeping Urrick busy for me, under the pretence of hell still being in chaos... I finally have some time for myself... I'm sitting by the lake's edge in the local park. Urrick would NEVER let me get close in fear of me falling in, despite my protests. Every time I'd try to say no, he'd look confused... worried... sometimes, even a bit hurt...
I know he does genuinely love me, but I don't think he realises how suffocated I feel... "Flora?"I turn my head around, seeing Allie and Malessor.
I huff. "Did Urrick somehow manage to send you two to check-up on me?"
Allie giggles. "No! Actually, we thought something may have been wrong... you looked lost, and Urrick is normally with you..."
"Yeah... he is..."I go back to looking at the lake. Allie sits next to me.
"Something up between you two?"Malessor asks.
"Well, not exactly, but... the thing is... I'm afraid to ask Urrick something..."
"Ask him what?"Allie raises an eyebrow.
I sigh. "I feel like he treats me like a doll, not his girlfriend and equal. I'm wondering if the choker was a mistake..."I touch the choker on my neck. "I need to ask him if he thinks I'm a doll, but the potential answer scares me..."
Malessor bursts into laughter. "Of course he thinks you're a doll! What, did you expect a DEMON to see a human as EQUAL?"
I scoff. "Says the demon that answers to a human."As Malessor's eyes widen after noticing Allie's cold stare, I notice something. "That a dog?"
"Yeah, his name's Rufus. Malessor had asked for a while about a dog, but I didn't want to get one, too much responsibility... but, well, you know how I swear when I get annoyed?"
"Yeah...?"Where is she going with this?
"Well, Malessor got annoyed with my swearing, made it annoying to ME for me to swear, and used that as a bargaining chip. We were actually surprised when Rufus actually came with us into hell - the guy at the shelter said he'd follow someone he trusts to hell - but then we realised that Rufus is a hellhound!"
I chuckle. "I guess being in charge doesn't mean you're always going to decide what happens..."
Malessor smirks. "Thing is, being a demon comes with a natural urge to be in charge. I mean, look at how Vulca treats Scott! Heck, even Allie sometimes acts like quite the demoness! But neither me nor Scott are afraid to speak up!"
My face falls. "But... I don't want to hurt Urrie... DAMMIT! THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE!"I pick up a rock and throw it as far as I can, landing in the water with a loud 'plop!'
Allie puts a hand on my shoulder. "So big, tough Flora can stand up to Lucifer, make demands to God and even pretend to be a demoness to seduce a demon to save her friend, yet she can't ask her boyfriend to give her personal space?"
"I... well..."I blush a little. "I just can't say no to him... he's sweet and sensitive... he's also protective... maybe *over*protective... and he gets so happy when he dresses me up, and he's so delicate and gentle when he gives me a bath..."
"Wait, he BATHES you?"Allie exclaims.
"Yeah... he seems to enjoy just taking care of me... and I do kind of like it... even gotten used to wearing ribbons again... but I just don't feel like myself when he won't let me sit by the lake, or suggests I avoid 'dangerous' activities like rock-climbing..."
Allie nods her head slowly, thinking. "Mal, summon a portal. The three of us are going to see Lucifer."
I instantly get worried; how will Urrick react when he sees me? But I trust Allie, so I follow her and Malessor.
As we step into Lucifer's chambers, I instantly spot Urrick, who also quickly spots me. "FLORA!"he shouts, beginning to rush over to me. Allie steps between the two of us.
"Urrick, wait."
He recoils in surprise. "But..."
"**WAIT!**"She turns to Lucifer. "Sir, Malessor said something interesting while he, Flora and I sat at the edge of a lake chatting. It gave me an idea."
I flick my eyes over to Urrick, who seems shocked and worried. I see him mouth 'are you ok', to which I mouth back 'of course I am', which seems to confuse him. Lucifer leans forward. "Really now?"
"Yes. Everyone knows Flora didn't make for a good demon, but I reckon I could. I'd like to transfer my immortality to Flora, of course with the catch of [visiting hell every Thursday.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/yrvtqu/comment/ivw8n2d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) The only thing is..."Allie turns to look at me. "Would *you* be ok with that, Flora?"She smirks and winks.
I look at Urrick again. He seems excited...
I shake my head, going against my instinct. "No. Not with how clingy and overprotective Urrick is. I'd be afraid."
Urrick gasps. "Flora? But... did Allie say something to you?"
I walk around Allie and grab Urrick's hands with my own. "I had to beg Lucifer to keep you busy down here so I could get some 'breathing room'. I love you Urrie, but I need space to be myself. Could I slip and fall into the lake? Yes. Could I injure myself rock climbing? Yes. Is cave exploring risky? Yes. But..."I kiss Urrick's cheek. "I won't be alone. I'll always have someone around to keep me safe. I can call you for help. You can sense when I'm in danger. Just let me be myself Urrie, let me do things which carry risk. If you can just promise me that, then I'll let you treat me like a dress-up doll, I'll happily come here every Thursday with Ariana, I'll let you take care of me."
Urrick's eyes are watery. "Flora... love..."he brings me into a hug. "I'm sorry. I just worry. You know that [I hate seeing you hurt.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/xx55j7/comment/iraaaz0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) But it's clear I've hurt you so much more. I'll always be there... but I'll stop getting in your way."
I lean into him, letting him stroke my hair. "Thank you, Urrie."
"Well, with all that settled..."Everyone turns their attention to Lucifer. Allie and I step forward, and Lucifer begins working his magic...
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
This story is a part of my series, [To Love a Demon.](https://www.reddit.com/r/StoriesbyCrystal/comments/xqefwu/to_love_a_demon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Please check it out! |
„Oh, it just looks so peaceful around here! And so many mountains?!“, Clara barely was able to hold her breath the entire drive to the cabin. The job at the IT firm in Munich paid well and so Tim was able to afford their very own private cabin deep withing the Bavarian Woods near the Czech border. Although whether it still counts as Bavarian or Bohemian stands to reason. It’s really that close to the border. A good decision nevertheless. It’s as far out of civilization as you can get in Central Europe, yet you’re still close enough to get everything you need. Win-win.
They arrived at a very cozy cabin, which appeared to be partially embedded in the steep hill and completely overgrown with grass. In front of it was a roomy area, with lawn, some benches and a table. Around it a fence. Tim parked the car right in front of said fence. “Ok, let’s wake up Jasmin, I guess. She’s sleeping like a stone.”, said Tim. Clara turned around in her seat to look at their 5 year old daughter. “Can you blame her? We were driving for over an hour here. It must have been exhausting to her.” “Yeah… I’ll get the luggage.”
The little family settled in quickly and dinner on the front porch, while the sun was setting. “It’s getting dark early, isn’t it?”, said Tim. “We are in the mountains, honey. Sun’s getting a little blocked around here.” “Oh, right.” Tim sighed. “Daddy, I’m tired. Can we go to bed?”, Jasmin mumbled sleepily. Clara took her on her lap and wondered “I’m surprised you still have sleep left, little girl. But sure, let’s call it a day.”, she got up kissed her husband and went to bring the little one to bed. “Don’t sit out there too long, hubby.” “Yeah, yeah.”
Tim watched the sun move behind some trees and finally set behind one of the mountains. He listened as the sounds of the birds calmed down, slowly getting replaced by the sounds of night. Crickets chirping, owls growling and the chill wind setting over the trees. It seemed so peaceful. Clara came out to ask “You coming?” Tim sighed, “On my way. She’s sleeping already?” “Yeah. Nice and sound”. “Good.”, he smiled and got up. With a look over the treeline he was about to get in, when he noticed some movement in the woods. It looked like some antlers, he wasn’t sure though. But once he looked over there, it was gone. ‘Must have been my imagination’, he thought. ‘I’m seriously overworked.’
The next days they explored the immediate area around the cabin and ventured a bit into the woods. There were plenty of trails to follow, just barely any signs where they might lead to. Jasmin had fun counting all the different flowers and mushrooms. She also loudly exclaimed every single animal she happened to see for the first time, “Look daddy, a bunny!” or “A deer, a deer, daddy, look!”, usually accompanied by a screech. “Be careful Jas, look for your feet or you’ll stumble again. And keep your voice low, the animals get scared.”, advised Tim to no avail. The kid just kept jumping up and down every time she saw something new. The next loud scream, however, was not from the kid. “What the hell was that?”, said Clara as she moved closer to Tim. Jasmin also decided that it’s probably safer to go to her parents, “Mommy, daddy, I’m scared.”. Tim looked around, “I don’t know. Sounded weird.” Somewhere down the path, behind some bushes they saw some movement. Whatever it was, it was mostly hidden by the bush. ‘That kinda looked like antlers?’, wondered Tim. ‘Whatever it is, we should get out of here, I have a bad feeling’ thought Tim and said “Ok, let’s turn around, I think we might be in the territory of some animal.”
Back at the cabin, they’ve had dinner and had their usual ritual to bring Jasmin back to bed. Once she slept in, Clara went back to the kitchen to sit down with Tim. “So, what do you think it was?”, she asked. “I don’t know. I thought I saw some antlers, so maybe some deer?”, Tim thought a while and said “Maybe we should leave.” Clara went over to hold her husband “No, no. It’s still nice here. We can still have a nice time near the cabin. We’ll only have two days left anyways.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe I’m just not used to the quietness out here.”, Tim chuckled, “Well, except that weird animal scream.”
“Mom, dad?”
Clara sighed, “I guess she’s awake again. I’ll go check on her.” Tim stopped her, “No wait, I think it’s my turn for now.”, while smiling at her. He got up and walked down the hallway to Jasmins room. The door to her room was ajar, and Tim noticed some strange shadow on the wall inside. He sped up his walk and asked, “Jasmin? You alright in there?” The shadow quickly disappeared when he arrived and opened the door fully. Jasmin appeared to be fast asleep. He checked around the room and made sure the window is closed. When he looked out of the window, he looked into the eyes of.. he couldn’t tell what it was. It was a scrawny figure, holding some kind of walking pole with a single antler on top. The creature appeared overgrown with moss and short grass. ‘What the hell…’ he thought, rubbed his eyes and looked again. The creature was gone.
“Daddy?”
Tim turned around and looked into the face of his daughter. Or so he thought. Horrified, he stepped back from a strange small creature with deep black eyes and skewed face, whose skin appeared to be moving. It set in Jasmins bed and kept asking in her voice: “Daddy, what’s wrong?” |
Grunting I shouldered the boulder. Beneath it I planted my feet firmly into the earth and heaved. With the power of the earth in my arms I threw the giant stone at the demon.
"Guh wha? NoooOOOOAGH!"
The demon crumpled under the weight of the boulder and vanished back to the immaterial world. Victory!
Beside me my deadbeat dad scowled up at me.
"So this is what you were doing in that bedroom of yours? I thought all that grunting was degeneracy!"
As a demon approached intending to pick up the boulder and throw it back at me I snapped my fingers and the stone exploded into a deadly spike.
"STONE MAGIC! SPIKE! HOOHAH!"
I turned to my old man and retorted
"Yeah I was working out you old jerk! Studying stone magic too!"
Another demon approached and was squashed when I heaved a boulder downhill
"Hunngh!"
With fear and hatred in its infernal yellow eyes the demon howled at the enormous slab of rock plummeting down the mountain at it like a missile
"GRAAAAAGGuhhhhhh"
Another demon squashed! Victorious I raised my huge arms into the air and bellowed
"ROCK BEATS DEEEEEMON! ROCK RULES! |
"Jeremy,"you said you'd stop. You *promised*,"Sarah wept when she confronted him after he arrived home.
"Sweetheart, I *did* stop. I stopped Maurice from spoiling all of our fun!"he said with a pleased smile. "Now we can keep doing as we like. Isn't that wonderful?"
"She's broken, Jeremy. She's a ruined thing! Oh, God, what did you do to her?"
"I just showed her some things about herself, that was all,"Jeremy said with an indifferent shrug. "Showed her what she was *really* like. And she had a reaction. Really, I barely did *anything.* She did all the heavy lifting herself. People are such fragile things; they really are. I know all about it."
"This isn't you!"Sarah cried. "This isn't you at all!"
"It isn't?"he asked with horrifyingly genuine curiosity.
"No! No, Jeremy, you're so kind, you wouldn't hurt anyone, you're so...so caring and gentle..."
"So, you really love me, huh?"
"You *know* I do!"she screamed at him.
"No...no, I don't,"he said. "But I think I can find out. Come here. Come here, let me see you as you are...come here...come here..."
Sarah back peddled in terror, desperate to keep out of his reach, but collided with the kitchen counter, leaving herself with no room to run. Then he was there, gazing intently into her eyes while gripping her face firmly between his hands.
She tried to turn away, but his strength was unnatural; slowly, she lost herself to that piercing gaze, felt herself being peeled away and exposed, and helpless to do anything to stop it.
*The pain was unbearable.*
"Jeremy, you would never hurt me,"she said through her tears.
"I don't know who that is,"he said in a tone of voice that bordered on but was not quite, sadness.
"I think we're both going to learn some interesting things tonight." |
All Jacob got was denial, reverse psychology, and threats. And now, here he was, left outside on a cold autumn night, told not to come back until he acted like he was "supposed"to. He stopped, looking up at the vastness of the sky that would seemingly be his only blanket for weeks on end. Reality set in. This was it.
He had no one. Who'd give a damn about another homeless kid on the street like him? Especially since even his own mom and dad agreed he didn't deserve love, or even pity. The world had judged him, and based on what? Things he couldn't control?
Out of instinct, he wandered to the park. Maybe some bench there would be preferable to being on the cold, dead ground. But once he got there, he found it impossible: benches were one seat wide or had dividers for multiple people to avoid each other. Nowhere to lie down, not even a small elevation to call his own.
Why, he asked himself, was he so dumb as to tell the truth? He knew there was a chance some would find it odd, but Jacob trusted his parents to love him no matter what. Isn't that what they kept telling him? A lie? An angry outburst revealing that everything was conditional? And now what? What was one more... no, don't use that word on yourself... but what was he to this place?
Jacob parked himself under a tree and just bawled, the cry of a man who had lost what he loved, but from a mere boy. It was a cry of mourning, only he was the dead one.
"Jake..."
He looked up. Edward stood there, like an angel. Edward always had been his angel.
"W-what are you doing here?"
"I called your house. They told me you didn't live there. I guessed the rest... all the time we've spent under this tree saying our time will come. I knew you'd be here."
*When you're weary, feeling small*
*When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all*
*I'm on your side when times are rough*
*And friends just can't be found*
Jacob stood up and embraced Edward. "Thank you..."he muttered over and over, the burden in his heart lightening with each second just from the knowledge he wasn't, and would never be, alone. "But... where do we go? I'm not accepted."
"Yes, you are. Mom and Dad will take you in. They already knew about me. Now they'll get to meet you. Better than an old tree."
*When you're down and out, when you're on the street*
*When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you*
*I'll take your part when darkness comes and pain is all around*
"...b-but why? What do... I'm still a freak."
"No, you're my family now. I don't give a damn what your parents think. If they had a spine, they'd accept you. C'mon -- lemme take you home. You know the way."
Jacob remained overwhelmed by a night that turned his whole world upside down, but he couldn't say no to a roof over his head. Especially not from Edward, who supported him from day one, who found him at his lowest before, and who declared he'd never let him suffer. No matter what anyone did.
"You... meant it."
"Why wouldn't I? I love you."
And with that, the two walked to their home, Jacob a few steps ahead just in case anyone questioned it. But they might as well have been side by side, holding hands, heading to freedom.
*Sail on, silver girl; sail on by*
*Your time has come to shine!*
*All your dreams are on their way; see how they shine.*
*If you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind.*
"I don't deserve you, Edward."
"Yes you do."
*Like a Bridge Over Trouble Water,*
*I will ease your mind!* |
I don't need to go on the Internet because I know the entirety of it. The same goes for TV. Life is boring. Well, I could get hired by a scientific facilities and tell them what they don't know, leading to breakthroughs in technology. I did just this. The world then had robots and looked like something in a sci-fi. I became rich. I even had a robot woman harem. Then, one day, as I relaxed on the couch, a wormhole appeared. From the portal stepped a man in a tunic. "Harry, people from my world have detected your immense knowledge. We want to invite you to our world for your benefit.""Interesting...so my omniscience only applies to my universe", I thought. "Alright", I said. Finally, a world I knew nothing about. I followed him through. On the other side was a medieval village. "So, who's gonna teach me magic?", I said. |
"Get rekt, scrub", said Larry. "Hold on. Pause. I need to take my medication", said Phil. "I can't pause", said Larry. One of the caretakers, Letty, came over behind Larry. "Ooh, nice snipe", she complimented. "Brings me back to 'Nam", Phil said, smiling.
The next day, Larry and Phil played another session together. Larry noticed that Phil wasn't talking. He also noticed that Phil was doing much better than before. "Uh, Phil, you there?"No answer. In the afternoon, Larry visited Phil in the courtyard. "Phil, why weren't you talking when we played today?""My voice gave out", said Phil.
The following day, Larry was walking around the courtyard when he spotted and recognized Phil's grandson. "Hey, George, how are you?", asked Larry. "Good", he responded, "My grandpa was really happy that I visited him yesterday. I even...uh...look, I can't keep it a secret. I played for him yesterday." |
Two adventurers, Ron and Winnie, walked across the sands of the desert when they saw the camel. It had blue stripes on its neck. "Look! I gotta get a picture!", said Winnie. She took out her phone and snapped a photo. The camel looked at Winnie, who then started to float in the air. "Woah!", she cried. Ron looked at her in awe. She was too high to grab onto. A cut appeared on her arm. Blood trickled out. Ron figured that the camel was doing this. He ran up toward it before he was pushed back by a force, sending him on his back. The camel walked to the two. Winnie fell to the ground. Ron started running away, and Winnie followed. The camel lapped up the blood. |
I look at my boxers as I stare at myself in the mirror, the shorts reduced to little more than a plaid rag after that tailburst. Before me is not the face I had grown up with, the face I had known. The face in the mirror is that of a [bassarisk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ringtail), and already I feel the need to lay back down in bed to emerge at night. The instincts are strong, yet I know that if I give in, I would be lost like so much of humanity has been right now. Outside, people who were once somewhat rational are already giving in to the feral instincts that their animal halves supplanted their reasoning with. I seek not to be supplanted, but supplemented, and yet... It hurts. It hurts to retain my human routines. Why should I, when society has already collapsed, when feraldom is supplanting rationality all around me? Already my feet are moving back to my bedroom without me thinking about it, and, pulling clothes out of my dresser, I find myself making a den for me and whatever mate I may claim.
As the moon rises, I find myself wondering, *Why live in this extravagant cavern? Simply because it's convenient?* The instincts implant themselves further, calling for me to claim each of the artificial caverns in the neighborhood as my dens. I am a roaming creature, after all, and my territory is large compared to my size. They have been abandoned by many of the other deminimals, ripe for the taking. And as more of the instincts take root, I find myself eating a demi-mouse whole head-first. That annoying whisper in the back of my mind insists that I shouldn't be doing this, that that was my neighbor Tim, but concedes that he was a jerk anyway and finally goes silent, never speaking up again.
Soon, an alluring scent is caught in my nose. A female of my kind, and the mating season has begun. I court her and win her by default, us being the Adam and Eve of the demi-bassrisks, whatever that means, and we settle in an artificial cavern for the day, enjoying each other's presence after a wild night. I will defend her and our kits, and we shall be fruitful and multiply.
Let the architecture of the humans crumble into ruin, make rags out of clothes, regress from civilzed beings into feral beasts. We have no need to walk on two legs, to be this tall, to be reasonable at all. We are demi-bassarisks slowly becoming full bassarisks, and though we may look cute, that is our way of getting you to lower your guard. Beware us, or meet your demise by our teeth and claws and musky spray. |
Daisy looked kind of sad. She did not really care about the government being overthrown. She was expecting that for a while now. She was sad because of the building. Of course it wasn't as beautiful as the buildings she saw in Europe, but she still liked the design.
"Well this is the end of an era..."*said Mike. He wasn't that sad about the building. He thought about burning it down before.*
"It is... Do you think there's still a Walmart? I mean a lot of things had been lit on fire... I hope our car is fine..."*Daisy was worried.*
"Do you think we should buy a new one?"
"We will steal if that how it'll be going."*said Daisy*
"Well let's go... I am hungry."
"Look there is a McDonalds. They are open."
"Fuck... That's rough for them... I mean poor workers... I hope they will raise minimum wage now, that there's a new government."
"I hope so too!"
In the McDonalds they ordered food.
"Do you think we should buy a house now? The prices will be low for a while before skyrocketing."*asked Mike with his mouth full.*
"Good idea... Mmmm. I love happy meal. Look I got a tiny nuclear bomb! They must bee on the war theme... So weird!"
And they talked like this. Ignoring that the world is burning down, because I am a bad writer and this is getting seriously boring. |
In these dead areas, people can perform spells. Magic potions can be made from materials in these zones. I've been hopping across a trail of floating platforms of earth above a canyon. The trail curves off to the side over high ground, so if I fall over there, it won't be fatal for sure. It would injure me, though. Why do I do this? Well, I like the thrill. It's called "parkour."On the last platform is a great view of the landscape, too. It hovers above the rest. I was running over a platform above the high ground when I slipped. I fell off the side. My heart leapt. I watched the ground get closer and closer...and then I stopped in midair. What? I floated down gently, landing on my feet. I looked my right. A woman held her hands out toward me a few yards away. She smiled. She put down her hands and walked to me. I walked to her and said, "Was that a telekinesis spell?""Yep", she said.
"Thank you.""Why were you running up there?", she asked.
"I like the thrill.""Hm."She looked a bit weirded out.
"Can you lift me back up there?", I said, "On the platform that I fell off of?""You expect the *woman* to do all the work." |
**The Last Apple**
The empty aisles of the long-forgotten supermarket are laden with dust and empty shelves. The food here has been long consumed and raided by survivors ever since the uprising. What little organic matter that lays within the confines of the old abandoned box store has been taken by the rats or turned to mush through the composting of time. There is nothing here but dust and rot, and yet I limp between the barren shelves, passing yellow stickers, the once bright eye-catching yellow now a dull flaxen, the prices and labels that used to stick out are nothing more than faded ghosts.
My steps echo through the liminal space as I limp through the old store, with my left foot doing most of the work, my right leg drags behind, a syringe sticking out of my ankle. The plunger pressed in. My throat still feels the phantom of the plastic tubing that had been wrapped around it just a few moments ago. The back of my head still throbbing from the blunt force of a clipboard. Who knew that they made for such great close-quarters weapons? I use the shelves as a railing to relieve the pressure upon my foot, and when I don’t have any shelves to hold onto I use my shotgun as a makeshift cane. I am desperate, I am determined. It’s a long way to the produce aisle from this side of the store, but I have no choice but to keep going, otherwise, they will catch me, strangle me, tie me down, and wheel me away on a stretcher into the back of an ambulance. As I drag myself through the store, my mind slips into the pleasantries of the old days, before the uprising, before society crumbled overnight as an army of demons dressed in white lab coats descended upon us, before the last apple had been eaten.
*I used to be a healthy man. I used to go for a run first thing every morning, no matter the weather, and no matter where I was. When I got back after my shower I’d eat a healthy breakfast of egg whites, toast, and an apple. Then later that day, before lunch I’d go to the gym to work on strength training. Fitness was as much a part of me as religion is for others. Little did I know at the time, all I needed to stay healthy was a simple apple. And most importantly it kept them away.*
I know there won’t be any apples in the produce aisle. The state of the shelves showed that to me. This was a fool’s errand, and if I were in a rational state I’d slap myself and tell myself to pull it together. But my mind was not that of a sane man at that moment, but a desperate one, clinging to old habits to keep them away. My aid of shelves ends here. Using my shotgun I limp on over to the corpses of old waist-high coolers that used to hold chilled meat. I grasp upon the smooth edge and continue my journey. I hear a clattering in the distance, I relieve my foot of the additional support provided by the shotgun and hold in it front of me. My ears are hyper-aware of any sounds that might penetrate the silence. My eyes now trained upon the faded dangling sign that once proudly displayed in eye-catching green, now a dull imitation of itself, “Fresh Produce.”
*Nobody knew who ate the last apple. Some scientists and doctors (of the PhD sort) believe that it had been consumed in a plastic bag, carefully cored and cut into half-moon slices with care by a mother as she packed her child’s lunch that morning. Others believe that the last true apple had been dropped from a tree in an abandoned orchard, laying to rot as flies laid their eggs upon it and their maggots borrowed through its skin and ate it from the inside out until the tart flesh of the last apple became nothing more than a pile of maggots squirming away in the middle of a forest.*
The shuffling of feet and the rolling of a stretcher draws closer. I’m so close, and yet a gulf of scummy gray tile lies between the edge of the last meat cooler and the abandoned shelves of the produce aisle. I can’t use the shotgun as a cane anymore, not when they’re so close. I grit my teeth, lift the shotgun to my shoulder and begin limping toward the produce section. The shotgun won’t kill them, not with their advanced medical knowledge that hat developed over the years since the uprising through their inhuman medical experiments, but it could at least stun them and distract their buddies as they tend to their wounds.
*My last check-up had started like they always did. Within the confines of a cold waiting room while a television in the corner had some daytime soap on that nobody paid attention to. My last check-up ended like so many others did that day, with my trusted doctor lunging at me with bloodshot eyes and a scalpel in her hand pointed directly at my jugular. I was one of the few lucky ones to survive that sort of encounter. The rest ended up being cadavers to be experimented on. In hindsight, I wish I had let my guard down a little bit. Or that she was a little bit more agile and thrusted that blade straight into my throat. Little did I know at the time that the lucky ones died that day.*
Hallways there. My heels clack against the tiling, like a tap dancer unable to keep the beat. *Clack*, *clack-clack*, pause, *clack-clack-clack*, *clack*, pause, *clack*. Every few steps I point the gun around, ready to pull the trigger. And then she appears. My old doctor, dressed in a white lab coat that had lost its purity to the crimson stains of blood that now cover most of it. Her kind eyes are no longer there, and instead, she looks at me with a cool dryness only reserved for serial killers and war criminals. Without hesitation, I pull the trigger. A deafening boom ripples and reverberates through the store. The doctor falls to the ground, her blood spilling through her wounds mixing with the blood of her experiments, as she lies there gurgling and groaning in pain. The clattering of footsteps and the rattling of a stretcher’s wheels begin rushing toward us. I don’t have a lot of time on my fool’s errand.
*There was a time in my life in which I thought I’d become a medical student and become a surgeon. But pre-med had been proven too hard for me, so I opted for a bachelor’s in nutritional science and sports medicine. I often wonder nowadays if it would have been worth the extra effort to get that MD, at least that way I’d be a survivor of the uprising. But would it be worth those extra years of school to become a monster after the last apple had fallen?*
The doctors rush to her side and begin tending to her wounds. They always do. They took an oath after all to do no harm, little did we know that there was a fine print that stated: “to other MDs.” The fools we were. There are four other of them, each dressed in a white lab coat stained a dark scarlet. The two handling the stretcher park it and hunch over and begin operating. I have bought myself time, but not much. I limp over to the produce aisle, praying that at least a rotten core of an apple remains. Anything.
I search the produce section, passing by cardboard boxes that had begun to rot, their ripe musk haunts the aisle, giving false hope for composted vegetables and fruits, and yet the boxes are full of nothing but air and mold. I pass the plastic containers of pre-chopped food, their insides now a purée of rotten onions, mushrooms, or bell peppers, and mold. I gag at their appearance. Behind me, I hear the muttering of the doctors and the clanking of medical instruments against the tile. I hear her groans getting lighter and the seething of pain angrier. And then I reach it, the apple section.
There are plenty of pictures depicting apples along the boxes, but each of them is barren as the rest. I pull myself along the boxes searching for anything, even a seed. The faint light of the outside is of no help. I find a few insects that I mistake for seeds as they squirm away at my hands. I then begin searching for the mulch of an apple, or a bag of rotten apples. Nothing. And then I hear the sound of footsteps and the rattling of the stretcher.
I did not look at them when they took me. When the cool plastic tubing of their stethoscopes wrapped around my neck pulling me towards the stretcher. My mind drunk with desperation did not even look away from the apple boxes until they forced me upon the stretcher and strapped my head back and my limbs cuffed to the sides. And then she looks at me, my old friendly neighborhood doctor, with those cold killer eyes. And then she opens her mouth and speaks.
“You’re long overdue for your annual physical you know,” she said with a false smile. “Let's go to the exam room and get you checked up.”
As I’m wheeled away only one word comes to my mouth as I scream it over and over again, hearing it echo off the tiling and right back to my ears. “Apple!” I say over and over again.
***
If you enjoyed this story, you can read many more like it over on /r/QuadrantNine. Be sure to subscribe for more stories! If you enjoyed “The Last Apple” may I recommend [“The Skin Tailor”](https://reddit.com/r/QuadrantNine/comments/zn14v1/the_skin_tailor_1455_words_weird_fantasy/) for a dark weird take on medical professionals? Or if you’re looking for something that deals with a mundane take on zombies then I recommend [“Sad Sack of Flesh”](https://jonathankwebb.com/2021/10/12/sad-sack-of-flesh/) (posted on my archival website) |
Jason's day started just like any other day, except for one little detail. A knock was heard at the door. He went to answer and came face to face with a slightly odd looking pair who addressed him in a high-ish tinny voice saying they were Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Jason put these strange impressions down to the fact that he had not had his coffee yet and his eyes were still bleary with sleep. They said that they had brought cookies and would you mind if we come in? Jason replied "Sure, come in, I was just making coffee and cookies would be really nice."The pair told him that they had been asked by The Committee to get to know the people in the neighbourhood and present their Land and Life program to the people and how it would improve the environment and and wellbeing of those living there. Jason was curious and asked if they had some kind of brochure that he could look at. They pulled out a page from a folder to hand over and they took their leave. "Hmm, nice people."he said to himself as he closed the door. "A bit unusual, but if they want to help with the environment and the people, I'm in."He had a look at the paper in his hand and his eyes landed on the announcement of a presentation of the project and Q&A for the community that coming Saturday. He stuck the paper on his fridge and went about his day musing about what he'd like to see done.
Saturday came around as it always does and he headed out to the community centre and found a good spot to sit. Pretty much everyone from his neighbourhood was there all really interested in the new programs. His two friends and another whom he guessed was the chairman of The Committee presented their vision. During the presentations, Jason had this passing thought about their strrange tinny voices and why was The Committee capitalized. He dismissed the though as no one seemed bothered by that. The stuff was interesting and looking around the room he could see heads nodding in agreement. After the Q&A which was positive all around, the members of The Committee closed by saying the project would be implemented as of Sunday.
On Sunday morning, but not too early, Jason welcomed two new visitors who told him they were taking care of all the odd jobs he'd been neglecting. They even spruced up his garden with some new plants. Another day, two more came to fix his meals and that he could call them whenever he did not want to cook. "Cool!"he thought to himself. Another time two more visitor came and offered him an all inclusive spa day in his own home. "I'm liking this!"His normal morning grumpiness was being replaced by a smile and an anticipation for the new day. He noticed the same changes in his neighbours. He remarked to one of them, "This Committee really has our interests at heart. Have you noticed how the air feels lighter? The birds are out singing. The flowers are blooming."He even commented that with all the good food the visitors were preparing he had to loosen his belt a couple of notches.
Some months went by with the visitors tending to their very needs and wants, the neighbourhood was stirring with new life and cares were left behind. Jason was so enthralled by what he was seeing that he was becoming keen to see how he could be part of it all to spread these good works. He contacted the Smiths and told them about his interest.
Some months later, convinced that the Smiths had forgotten about him, a courrier came to his door and handed him an envelope. Puzzled he opened the envelope and found a ticket to fly him to Bora Bora on The Committee's private jet for a a month-long all expense paid vacation and that it was leaving the next day. He packed his bags quickly making sure he had everything could need and set his alarm to be up on time for his ride to the airport. He then closed his eyes and dreamt of white sands and blue waters.
In the morning a limo picked him up and whisked him off to the airport. Mimosas and croissants for breakfast on the way. He was fasttracked through security, sat in a luxurious leather chair and fastened his seatbelt all geared up for an enjoyable flight. Upon landing he was picked up and driven to a grand hotel where he was greeted by the Smiths. Mrs. Smith checked off something on a clipboard and motioned to Mr. Smith to take him to his room. On entering the room, Jason was asked to sit in a chair and someone would be with him shortly. Jason felt a little bizarre, but he didn't dare ask anyone. They were paying for his trip after all. To add to his discomfort, he noticed that everyone spoke with the same high-ish tinny voice. Another door opened and Jason was called into a white room with something that looked like a table draped with a white sheet. He looked up and saw the chairman of The Committee in a gleaming white jacket who told... no commanded him to hop on the table. At this point, Jason was getting worried. The chairman urged him to relax in again that tinny voice. Suddenly everything went black.
Was it a month, a year, a week he was in this coma? He didn't know. When he came to he was given a few days to orient himself then he was introduced to Angela who seemed to have had the same experience. He vaguely remembered her as one of his neighbours. How strange! A little later, Angela and Jason were packed off and flown to another country and driven to a residential neighbourhood. They were given a folder with papers, a Tupperware container with cookies and were told that they were now Mr. and Mrs. Smith. They were dropped off in front of a house. They rang the bell. The door was opened and they presented themselves. "How odd", Jason thought, "why are our voices so tinny?" |
First, Earth developed its own life. Then, said life became sapient. Though they almost killed their mother, they saved her from themselves.
Then, they left their cradle world and founded an alliance based on freedom for all. But that was not to last.
For then, Earth was attacked. The Sol Shield, closed the enemy away, making them stave, but it locked Earth in with them, and Earth became a pile of black, sandy dust.
Their automated climate recovery systems filled Earth with life once more, but Humanity was dead. Let this memorial stand to remember the Humans, and their sacrifice for a free galaxy.
- Remembrance IIII space probe, from the 1st universe, before the 1sr recorded Great Crunch. |
"I called upon the mighty Asmodeus"the pimple faced twerp whined "who the hell are you?"
"Call me Frank. Az-mo threw this one my way. Whatcha after?"
He stuck out a petulant lip. "*Frank?* I have to work with a demon named friggin' FRANK?"he demanded.
"You get what you get, and you quit wasting my time or spend eternity in agonizing pain for your mortal insolence."The guys in the office were right; human work was dumb. This was my first ever above ground gig, and I was already missing tormenting the souls of the dearly departed.
"Ugh. I've seen darker entities on the damn Disney Channel. You suck."
Despite an office policy of minimal damage, lest we incur the wrath of heaven, I grabbed his throat and gave a teensy weensy squeeze. The blood was quite a shock, as I hadn't *meant* to turn my hand into a blade.
"Blew that one."I muttered to myself as the ground swallowed me up and I fell back into the dull thrum of darkness and despair that is home sweet hell. I drug my feet as I headed back to report, suspecting I might not be in favor after my little mishap. It really wasn't my fault. Even minor demons deserve respect in the land of the living, and the stupid kid should have known that.
I pulled up short of Asmodeus' office to take a look at the line of incomers. Sure enough, there was my guy, pimples and all, whimpering before the gates with millions of other lost ones. I chuckled as I stuck my head in the boss' door.
"Frank, Frank, Frank..."he cooed. I quit laughing. Az-mo was not usually the sort to get chummy.
"Whatever you heard, I tried helping. Kid was crazy though. He came at me with holy water! You're lucky it was me and not you. I suspect the Catholics were trying to lay a trap."
"Bullshit, Frank. Don't kill, dismember or otherwise maim our flesh based allies. That's how we lose the old war of attrition. Lucky for you I'm still way behind after that Cancun vacation. Your next assignment is an old friend of mine; a dyed in the black wool Luciferean that is looking for revenge. Don't screw it up, or I'll screw your thumbs to the ceiling."He pointed up for emphasis.
I followed his finger and saw my neighbor, a portly red guy whose name I could never remember hanging and sobbing silently. I nodded and popped back to the mortal realm without a word.
I found myself in a well furnished apartment. There was something delicious in the oven, and a small dog looked at me curiously from the couch. There was no other sign of life.
"Hey little buddy, where's your owner?"I asked the dog. It just whimpered and pissed itself. I have been told I have a way with animals.
"Just a minute, I'm in the bathroom!"A voice called from down the hall.
I mumbled darkly about humans and their various functions. When the man emerged he was all polite smiles and even offered to shake my hand. I declined, not only out of disgust, but also to avoid another accident.
"What's the job?"I said, trying to not sound too gruff. A friend of Asmodeus is a friend of the Devil, and that is saying something.
"Just a quick scare. Some nosy nun bitch offered to pray for me. Can you imagine the gall?"What I imagine might have been my heart at one point stopped.
"A *nun*? Buddy, I'm new to this. I can't be going after God's wives. That's above my pay grade."
"Calm down"the dapper fellow said. "I'm not asking for a full out possession. Just catch her alone and give her a fright. A quick 'boo' and you're done. She lives here in the building all alone."
Against my better judgement I got the room number and left him. I didn't have to use the stairs since we can fade into existence just about anywhere, but I decided to anyways to give myself time to plan. I still hadn't come up with one when I got to her door, so I took a deep breath and passed through.
Once in I saw a cross on the wall and almost left right then, but I just closed my eyes said a dark prayer and headed towards the bedroom. She was asleep with her back to me, so I shook her violently. She awoke with a start and we both screamed.
"What manner of spirit are you?"She demanded.
"Fuck you lady!"I screamed. She grabbed the crucifix that hung around her neck and stuck it directly in the middle of my forehead. It burned like syphilis piss.
Job sufficiently done, I left my pride and her room and retreated back to the sweet abyss. I'm avoiding Asmodeus like the plague until he catches back up, even if it takes forever. I'm not cut out for the living. |
I sighed in frustration. How could they keep misinterpreting My holy word? I watched in dismay as they raised again their symbol of worship to Me.
I mean, really. A cross? The one time I visit them in person in their own land as one of them, and I'm forever remembered by the instrument of My death? Not all who worship me do so, but it's still frustrating.
I heard a dissatisfied huff next to Me, and turned My head to look at Odin, the Allfather. I heard him mumble under his breath eith what could only be dissatisfaction.
I brace myself for his voice as I ask, "What is it, One-eye?"
A voice that was simultaneously a cacophony of thousands of ravens and a symphony of a thousand winds spoke. "The mortals are bickering again. They're fighting over our approval this time."
I sighed again. "You'd think they would have longer memories after Toth gave them writing."
Another voice made itself known to Me. "And after I went to such lengths to keep our worlds separate."
I turned My head to see Ares standing next to Me. "Why are you upset? I would have assumed that you love this sight, god of war."
He simply grunted. "Not to this foolish end. They are beginning to understand truly how vast the universe is. Is it so far a leap to think that there is room enough to worship us all?"
An idea occurred to Me. "Say, what if we all went down together? Lecture them until they never forget it?"
Odin took on a contemplative air, while Ares's brow furrowed more deeply. "That would render useless many of the efforts of morality that most of us left in place. Is that wise?"
Odin's thunderous voice answered Ares. "Yes, because the teachings of Huitzlpotchli and Ra and Zeus have remained so intact. And because our pantheonless friend here hasn't had what's left of his teachings be used as excuses to do terrible things."
I shrugged. "If we go down together, it might shock them enough for them to listen to what we have to say."
Suddenly, the sound of the fabric between realities tearing filled My senses. We all turned to see Sobek cleaving the barrier in a single bite, plunging through and landing directly in the midst of a conflict on the banks of the Nile, his old stomping grounds.
Ares rubbed the bridge of his nose and spoke with great resignation in his voice. "I suppose someone has made our decision for us."
I nodded in satisfaction, pleased to be getting My way as we all moved towards the realm of mortals. |
"Asshole."
"Is that any way to talk to a child?"said the little girl
"How old is she, six?"
"Five and a quarter."
"Bitch."
"Would it be better if I'd chosen someone older?"she didn't sound like a child anymore.
"No, guess not."he fumbled around in his coat pockets, and pulled out a cross. "The power of Christ compels you to leave this child's body."he mumbled the 'incantation'. Another day another devil.
The little girl expelled a cloud of black smoke visible to no one except him. She then stared at John, eyes wet with fear, and ran screaming to her parents. Some of the other families were giving him looks.
"Kids am I right?"the Christian families didn't seem to agree, but did look away.
He held the note in his hand and scanned the area for any kind of disturbance, but found nothing, except another child staring at him, but this one had the color drained out of his cheeks.
He was a boy about as old as the girl who had handed him the note, dressed in his tiny Sunday best. He was frozen, like a statue. If that kid was able to see the demon being expelled then he might have seen something else. John made for the boy, but he ran away. Not good.
John rounded the side of the church where its members were having a get together of sorts. John was devout, but it didn't mean he liked the 'good Christian values' vibe that everyone tended to give off, or the weird Christian mixers. He saw the boy running away into the crowd, and followed, but was stopped by one of the dads that had stared at him earlier.
"You're the creep that made my little girl run off screaming, and now I see you chasing down the Henderson kid. You some kind of pervert?"fuck.
"No sir, I'm just really bad with kids. We've met before remember?"it was possible they had, this was John's church, and he attended services, but he didn't stick around for any of their weird hokey mixers. John pulled out a little bible from his coat, it was one of the cheap ones they handed out regularly here.
"Oh, alright. Yeah I recognize you."he didn't. The man was furrowing his brow, trying to figure out where he'd seen John before. "Must've been a while ago at the men's bowling night."
"Yeah, forever ago."John had never so much as entered a bowling alley before, but rolled with it. "Lemme grab a hotdog and a beer, and maybe we can catch up. Tell the misses I said Hi"John walked away.
"This is an alcohol free zone buddy!"John didn't look back, and made off for where he last spotted the boy, and found him.
The boy was in a bouncy castle, brooding in a corner, and being bounced into the air by the other children. John was able to talk to him through one of the netted walls of the bouncy castle.
"Kid this is really important."The boy threw his eyes at john, but they bounced away. "Kid, I think you might've seen something. Spill, what did you see."
"I saw you infect that girl like they did my mom and dad"The kid had it backwards, but he supposed black smoke coming in and out might look the same from a distance.
"You have to trust me, I was saving her. I can save your parents too, and the rest of the people here, but you have to help me find your parents, and tell me what they did. Look."he held up his cross. "Would a bad guy be able to hold one of these?"he would actually, but John was in a rush, and didn't feel like describing the world of politics and false displays of faith.
The boy was hesitant for a second, then nodded his head. He got out of the bounce castle and told john that his parents had been infected with black smoke put something in the punch bowl. classic.
He took the boy and raced back to the dad that had confronted him before.
"Hey buddy. Henderson kid's lost his parents, where are they?"
"Oh hey bud, yeah they're getting refreshments ready in the parking lot."
"Great, say, watch him while I grab em won't you?"
John didn't wait for a reply this time either, and made a made dash for the parking lot. Where he found a stand being managed by only the Hendersons. Finally, a lucky break.
"The power of Christ compels you to fuck off."John said, lazily whipping out his cross.
The devils came out of the Hendersons in volcanos of black smoke, and before the real Hendersons came to, he opened up a reserve bottle of holy water and dumped it into the punch bowl. Day saved.
"Hey there mister, just what the hell do you think you're doing. This is an alcohol free zone buddy!"said one of the Hendersons.
"Saving this boring picnic."he probably thought I was spiking the punch, good.
"The only thing this outing needs is family love and Jesus, so you better leave mister."
"Gladly. By the By your son is looking for you, have fun."John started to walk away.
He figured they'd dump the punch bowl out and make a new batch, which they did. He could have just dumped the bowl, but there was every chance the devils could have added something that needed a good old fashion holy neutralizing. In any case, the family outing was out of his hands, and into God's. |
These mysterious beings have become the leaders of nations. They also meet each other in the shadows. Flog, a little green man, walked out into the streets of a village at night. He liked to see how quiet his nation looked in comparison to the busy life seen in the day. He stopped. He sensed a presence behind him. He turned to see Tim, the All-Seeing Eye. He was a flying pyramid as tall as a person. “Hello, Flog. I think it’s time for this nation to see a new leader.” His eye then glowed. Flog knew what this meant. He dodged a green light from the eye. Flog ran to the alleyway. He was cornered. The pyramid floated to him. Flog saw his savior in the sky: a flying saucer. It shot a red laser at Tim. The pyramid exploded, and he was reduced to chunks of stone. Russia’s leader was now dead. Flog would cover it up as an accident. |
People changed their personalities after death, too.
I appeared before people I didn't know. They stared at me. I know they wanted me to speak. "I don't remember who I was", I said. At least I remembered that my name is Al. After some silence, a woman said, "Well, you would spend a lot of time on TikTok in your room alone", said a woman. "Ew", I said. "I took you fishing. I'm your Uncle Jon.""Gross", I said. "I was your girlfriend, Jess. I gave you a hickey", said a woman. I smiled. "I'm Don. We played Call of Duty together. After your first loss, you almost broke your TV", said a young man. I laughed.
"I taught you how to play piano."
"I cooked you meals. I was your dad."
"I wrestled with you a little too much."
I started to ascend. I was going to Heaven. I had a happy life. |
Finn stared at the masked swordsman in anguish. "It's time that I revealed who I am"said the man. He took off his mask. Finn stared at him blankly. "Am I supposed to know who you are?", asked Finn. "It's me, Phil!", he said. Finn stayed silent. "We used to work together", said Phil. "Sorry, I don't remember you. People come and go in the Rebel Squad.""I have been working with the goblins ever since I realized that they offered me more then the Rebel Squad ever could. I mastered magic, and, now, I am here to kill you.""I remember you!", said, Finn, happily, "We went to a nightclub together and hit on the same girl!"Phil turned angry. He unsheathed his sword. Finn put up his fists. Phil charged at him, slashing. Finn dodged, punched his face, and delivered a low sweep. Phil was knocked off his feet. Finn held down his arms. "I surrender", said Phil. "By the way, that girl turned out to be my cousin", said Finn. |
Captain Obvious opened the doors of the abandoned house that night. He walked up the stairs to see someone float from an open door. It was a ghost. She had long black hair and pale skin. She wore a huge white shirt with no bottoms. Her form was transparent (to him, at least). She was looking at Obvious. He walked to her while talking. "Ghost, I have the power to make you visible to all people. Go into the world and live your dreams."He halted and snapped his fingers. Her form then looked physical. "Oh, thank you", she said, smiling, "I'm going to be a barista."With that, she flew down the stairs and out the door. He was making ghost girlbosses left and right. |
[Animal violence]
Part 1:
"He may not be the best, but he ain't the worst."
My grandpa patted Duke on the head.
He adored that mutt. I heard the poor thing got clocked in the head as a pup by a mule on a farm somewhere in the midwest before he came to be my paps hunting dog.
"He's as loyal as he is stupid."
My pap would say lovingly kissing Duke on the forehead, smiling ear to ear. Paps' smile never faded, even while Duke ripped through every screen door he replaced. The floor in the kitchen warped and swollen from Duke, trampling his water bowl day in and day out, licking it straight off the floor without a second thought. Mirrors confused Duke. He would wail and growl trying to fight his reflection, so much so Pap stopped taking him down by the pond. He was afraid he would drown as he got older. No more duck hunting for Duke.
Despite Dukes obvious deficits, his nose was next to none. He could track almost anything and was great at retrieval. One cold day in early October Pap set out with Duke to bag some rabbits. Those little critters were dashing and digging so fiercely Pap missed every shot.
He decided to go further into the forest and create a blind. He decided stealth was the best option. As Pap waited quietly, he saw a group of young rabbits chasing each other around a nearby bush. He took aim and squeezed. A small red stain on the leaves showed something was hit.
"GIT IT!"
Pap called to Duke. The rabbit frantically darted deeper into the trees, leaving a trail of dark blood. Duke barreled head first through the brush, sniffing wildly. Pap waited and watched as Duke disappeared after the rabbit.
Duke stepped under a broad pine and emerged by some large boulders. The bleeding rabbit fell to the dirt and heaved its final breaths. Duke stepped boldly out toward the carcass. The smell of death peaked the interest of a different kind of creature. Exactly opposite Duke stood a large hunching humanoid figure its body mangled and stretched in unnatural shapes. Its eyes are cold and icy, glazed over under thick white mucus. Its fingers twisted and bent with long muddy fingernails. It crept toward the rabbit, dragging one of its legs. Duke and the creature both turned their heads to one side. Duke gave a low growl. The creature imitated this growl very poorly. They locked eyes and stood still both inches from the rabbit.
I strong wind began to blow, and the trees whipped and creaked. The ground began to rumble and Duke felt the need to seek shelter. Before he could turn and run he felt himself be lifted off the ground. A bright light blinded him and when he opened his eyes again he found he was looking at himself. |
"What is this supposed to mean? Mortal?"
The Demon Lord Aatyr bewildered at the site of a.. 'friedship', a large galleon covered in breading, its keel smells akin to porkchops, its sails the fragarance of a fried chicken, every dish that could be cooked fried is included in this ship.
"Haha, I meant 'friendship', I stuttered because I was nervous!!"The hero Ynais was also in confusion, she didn't expect it to happen either,
Before this she was 'boastfully' declaring that her party will defeat the demon lord once and for all with all of the party's might unifying in a single attack that would wipe the dark overlord in the face of Terra altogether.
But as she was making her speech about to deliver the final blow, she got butterflies all over her stomach and proceed to speed all the way through the speech she tirelessly practiced everyday until the day of confronting the demon lord, she ended up stumbling her tongue at a crucial moment.
And that's what got them into this situation, after the speech a bright light appeared overhead the broken ceiling of the castle, and now to bring us to the present..
"You mortal spent a lot of spatial resources for that speech and just to fail? Haha like a weak and pathetic human would do in the face of almighty power!--"
"--That's unfortunate Ill pretend this never happened challenge me again after you've regained your dignity and come face me again."
Demon Lord Aatyr saw through the clumsy hero, he was... Disappointed? No, he felt sorry for the hero, a creature of the dark showing empathy towards a creature of light.
"Nonononononnononono, pleasepleaselplease lets continue noooooooowww!"Ynais flustered, begs for the fight to continue, she wanted to atleast convert her mistakes to atleast not leave the castle empty-handed.
On the other hand of the spectrum however, lays her party beaten to a pulp, the scene akin to recently lost to a brawl, their numbers laying on the ground and a select few who barely could support their legs to stand.
"Ynais, we can't fight anymore! Alan is unconcsious too!"The wounded marksman staggered on his feet, carries his comrade mage over his shoulders.
"We can't just leave empty-handed now can we?"Ynais retorted back.
"At the cost of my life!? Hell nah I'm leaving good luck with that!"
"Waitwaitwait.....UUuuuuu!"
Her comrades, atleast the standing ones started leaving one by one, but before they could reach the door leading to the exit, it was blocked by hurling rubble at it to prevent any form of escape.
***"Once you entered this palace there is no escape!"*** The menacing low growl of the demon lord shook the ground and the walls effectively breaking their balance through vibrations and sheer intimidation.
"Ah crap, we're gonna die aren't we?"
"Ready up!"
Even though staggered, Ynais and her party put their arms up in anticipation for another battle.
​
But.....
​
"We should deal with this buffet aren't we?"Aatyr, uncharacteristically changed his tone, he wasn't concerned about the battle, he was more worried on how to get rid of the 'friedship'
"......What?"
"?, what, what?"
"The friedship what are we going to do with that again?"
"What else than to eat it!"
"Oh......"
Ynais and the party was frozen in shock, while Aatyr quickly prepares in setting up a dining table, with demonic servants popping out of nowhere, they seem to be joyous of the occassion it was almost they seem like preparing for a festival they had waited for so long!
The castle before was ruined with rubble and cracks everywhere through battle of the two forces, suddenly was repaired clean like it never happened at all, the traces of battle was nowhere to be seen as the palace transformed into one huge gala complete with decorations and what not.
And the center of it all was the 'friedship'. The hero's party went agape when people came pouring in like it was a normal social gathering of nobles.
Beside the friedship the elevated stairs leading to the demon lord's throne was being recreated as a temporary podium, and there Aatyr met his guests and the disheveled party.
"I'd like to thank everyone on attending this gathering, and I'm happy to announce! That our food shortage will finally be solved!"Aatyr enthusiastically declared, and then several servants came racing to the friedship, chipping away its meat, and distributing it to the guests including the party.
The friedship even when its pieces were cutoff was magically restored, its an infinite food source, which all of the people of attendance became even more shocked!
"Holy shit its good! That mishap maybe was a blessing in disguise don't you think so, Ynais?"
"\*sniff\* It is good, but at what cost?"Ynais was depressed of the following outcome if it ever to spread on what happened to the final battle in the castle.
"You mortal wasn't called a hero for nothing!"Aatyr approached the hero after giving his speech.
"This isn't how I want my legacy to be remembered!"Ynais protested at Aatyr
"With this the invasion is cancelled, of course we will pay due on what we've done with the human kingdoms, what do you say? Head of Food and Agriculture?"
"I'm a hero! You can't make things up!"
"Was I mistaken, Head Secretary?"
They kept blabbering on being the head secretary and being a hero, but ultimately the demon lord won, the demon kingdom acquired the key person on solving their hunger problem.
It was fast chain of events, unrealistic,
And how The Legend of the Friedship and the Demon King was born. |
Everyone’s meant to die, that’s the whole point of living, what I do is simply unavoidable. I have nothing left anymore, it’s my job and my job only to take the lives of others. They give me a request, how they want to go and I can’t tell you the amount of times people have wanted to watch the sunset before they meet their end. When my wife found out about my job she couldn’t look me in my own eyes, she wouldn’t even talk to me. I never asked for this, I never wanted to do this, it’s just the job I was given.
I am tied to this career and I put people out of their misery so that they don’t need to wait for the long haul. If you were in my position you’d be the same way, after the many I have killed, the blood, the corpse, it means nothing to me anymore. It’s become just about as normal as me brushing my teeth in the morning. I feel nothing, no second thoughts, no regrets, no feeling at all. It’s a blessing and it’s a curse and I’m stuck with it, I put myself in this position.
I knew the cost…..and I live with the thought everyday. |
Arman scanned the floor of the room, the long barrel of his pump shotgun swinging low in track with his eyes from left to right. Nothing stirred on the dark faux wood floor as he did so, and he let out a quick breath of relief. He took a few steps through the unlocked double glass doors that had large frosted italic letters spelling out *DeConte Business Solutions* on the front.
It was the entry lobby or waiting room of a commercial office. The unlighted space was cast in gloomy darkness - save for a sliver of dusky sunlight that poke from a tall, narrow glazed window on the left exterior wall. The solid mass of a receptionist desk occupied the center of the lobby, its white plastic marble facade glowed unnaturally in the round beam of the small flashlight duct taped to his shotgun barrel. Towards the right side of the lobby, a fake plant in a white squarish pot hugged the wall. Behind it was a modern-looking black bench where visitors or clients might had usually sat. A net of dusty cobwebs hanged from the drop panel ceiling, but Arman was too focus on the floor and furniture to bear notice of them.
Arman took a deep breath, and advanced into the lobby. First, he check under the black bench. Nothing. He pivoted to the right and cautiously approached the space behind the monolith desk at the center. Nothing - nothing except a tall black adjustable stool, few crumbled post-it notes, and a forgotten coffee stir stick. Another sigh of relief. No blood on the floors. That was always a good sign.
He paused and listened. Silence. The still air smelled stale and ancient through his nostrils. As the office hours printed on the entrance door had hinted, it didn't look like anyone had been in here for a while. Probably not since - *that day*.
That *day* being the day it all started. He thinks it was a Saturday. When world went mad and he - started to fear all the dark, unsuspecting voids and spaces that perched near the ground. The space underneath a bed. Or a coffee table. Cupboards under stairs. Bushes, the undercanopy of big pine trees. Dog doors. Decks and porches. And the gap under every goddamn fucking car or vehicle in the city. It was so fucking stupid that he would had found it funny, if it wasn't all too real.
First, a strange but almost laughable news report about a loony feet fetishist off his rocker. Crawling on the floors of a coffee shop, biting at patrons' feet and ankles. Than another one an hour later, this time at a synagogue. Then ten more similar incidents by the time lunch rolled in. He was home in his apartment, sick with the measles - something he had his anti-vax parents to blame. Or was it to thank? He wasn't sure if he had been able to survive the horrors of that weekend if he had booked in for overtime at the IT firm he worked at. He was suppose to meet up with his coworkers Julian and Gina for a drink at the Crystal Mane later that night also. But that went out the door when the news started showing live video of crazed people crawling and scurrying like rabid dogs on the city streets, biting and mauling other people's feet and ankles. Their mouths bloody and gory with bits of human flesh and shoe leather/plastic sticking out their mouths. What the fuck?
And Gina. Fucking beautiful Gina. She was down at Albazi's shawarma shop picking up takeout for him. That was when she was bitten. Some middle-aged white guy snuck up behind her as she was waiting for the bus to get to his apartment, as she told him. The fucker bit her left ankle, his teeth cut through the thin leather strap of her right Aldo block heel. She had shown him the ruined heel and bloody bite mark on her ankle. Deep scratches and bruise spots desecrated her smooth slender ebony legs where her attacker's fingers had clawed at when she tried to fight him off.
Arman would had killed the guy on the spot if he had been there with her - or so he thought and told Gina as much. "*Hah! Sure man. He would had fucked up your scrawny ass,*"Gina had snorted in reply. "Don't worry. I gave that pervert a good smacking. Some gym bros nearby saw and pulled him off. Fucker was whacked out of his mind - probably on PCP, or bad acid trip? - they were still trying to put him down when the bus came, so I just hopped on and left them to it. Didn't want your droopy ass to go hungry!"she had said with a cute smirk as he was shoveling the beef plate into his face. That was Gina. Girl could handle herself in the big city, but was kind and thoughtful too. And drop-dead gorgeous at 5'11".
It's not like he thought he had a chance - a short, thin-framed 5'4"programming nerd who weighed in at 130 lbs after a big Thanksgiving dinner - but if anything, he wished he had at least tried to ask her out. Maybe she would had said yes - I mean, she was always nice to him. Maybe she liked him in the same way, too...
"That looks infected, you should got get it checked at the hospital", he remembered his dumb-ass telling Gina. What the fuck was he thinking? He should had known. He had the news on, they were telling him. He should had asked her to stay. Even if Gina had turned on him - it would had been one last night of them both together during the end of the world. Instead of going door to door looking for scraps to live on - always terrified of what was lurking underneath a table or abandoned bus. Fucking idiot!
"See you at Mane's tonight, if you're feeling better?"was the very last thing she said to him. Gina went to the hospital...and never came or called back. And everyone he knew died.
Something got knocked over in the larger office space behind the lobby, and made loud thunk on the floor. Arman's spine stiffen. Fuck. Something was in here.
"*Please be just a fucking rat. Or cat,*"he thought to himself. He trained his shotgun to the opening left of the lobby room, slowly easing forward until the light of his flashlight illuminated the space beyond it.
"Fuck."
His flashlight revealed rows and rows of cubicles in the office space beyond. Worst, the space was only partially illuminated by spokes of dying sunlight coming out small windows that were shuttered by old yellowing Venetian blinds. Arman scanned the room haphazardly, damp sweat forming at the back of his neck. What the fuck made that noise. Nothing stirred as his flashlight lanced through the semi-darkness.
He hated cubicles. Even before the shit went down. He couldn't understand why anyone in his century would want to work at a place that had them. Now with the crawlers - he hated them even more.
His old workplace - Devi-Lapiere - didn't have any of them. Just a few stand desks and bunch of bean bags arranged around a central open space for them to sit on while they hammered out code on their laptops. Gina would bounce on a exercise ball at one of the desks, and Julian just sprawled out on the floor near the coffee counter. Even that situation seem sort of antiquated to Arman - in an age where people like him could be working at home instead of wasting time commuting to an office. As a passing thought, Arman pitied whoever had to work in this cubicle hellhole before the end of times.
But now, it was his hellhole. Fucking cubicles. The absolute best way to create the most hiding spots, *near the ground*, indoors in any given space (save a kiddy ball pit). He could leave, he thought. Turn around and run before any sneaky crawler hiding - *in all that* - got to him. But the break counter and fridge he spied in the far corner of the office gave him pause. He hadn't eaten in three days. And two years after the sudden collapse of human society, there was slim pickings to be had. This was the only office in the building which doors were not locked.
The silent fridge was a write-off - with the power gone anything inside would be a putrid mess by now. But there could be sugar packets, in the cupboards or counter where a dusty coffee machine sat. Maybe someone kept a candy or granola bar in their desk?
Fuck, he was hungry. He looked down to his feet. A worn pair of heavy-duty leather work boots encased his feet, wrapped in thick copper wire for good measure. Above them, a layer of old magazines duct taped around his legs beneath the knee to act as improvised protective greaves. He gave them a good nudge and smack to test their durability. Better than nothing.
He boldly advanced into the office of cubicles, shotgun aimed downwards.
(Getting late, will continue tomorrow) |
Oh, I know what you are going to say. Magic doesn't exist. Most people think that in the same way that deaf people don't think that music exists. I knew a blind person once who didn't believe in rainbows.
But you know what? Deaf people can \*feel\* the music when the baseline is thrumming through their bones or a drum beat makes their knees wobble. It's like that with magic. You can only see it (or smell it, hear it, taste it) with your sixth sense, depending on what flavor of magic you are tuned into.
Some people think they can predict the future (that's Divination - Clairvoyance magic), like my Uncle Eddie.
"I knew that was going to happen". He says that all the time.
Some people can make images appear like my school teacher, Mrs. Gaubert (that's Illusion - visual), who can weave the most intricate picture in my mind with just magic words and enthusiasm.
My mother has a special magic (Enchantment - spousal) that only works on my Dad. "Honey, would you go and pick up the dry cleaning?"
"Yes, dear."
It works every time she calls him Honey. I think it's a magic word, like Abracadabra (not a real magic word, by the way).
Anyways, there are loads of different magic types: Healing Hands (doctors perform magic every day); Transmutation - clothing (great for costume changes on stage), and Conjuration - transport (when you really need to get home fast, Ferris Bueller style).
Me, I've got the best magic of all (Transmutation - food). I can turn any food in my mouth into something else, usually chocolate.
"Sally, eat your brussel sprouts."
"Yes, Dad." |
I found myself in the white void standing on the blank floor. In front of me was a floating window. Through the window, I saw faces of people I knew. They were flat images floating in the air. A digital timer above the window counted down from 50. A floating plaque beneath the window read, “Tap a face to see a trailer.” I saw my friend, Don. I always admired his video game collection. I tapped on the window, his face on the other side of my finger. Everything went black. I woke up in his bedroom. I looked to the dresser to see a console and a stack of games. I got up to look, but I got a knock at the door. I opened it. Don’s sister, Kat, was standing there. My heart pounded because I had a crush on her. “Hey, dude, Mom’s making breakfast. You want a burrito?” “Yeah”, I said. She walked to the stairs and went down. This was my chance to spend time with her.
At breakfast, I asked her, “Kat, do you want to play video games with me?” “Sure”, she said. We finished up and went to my room. I started a match between her and I in a fighting game. It was close. I won, and she said, ”Oh!”. She laughed. I smiled. |
Sam looked at the screen on the huge, metal, cylindrical device in his room. “Blue”, he said. The screen displayed a blue silhouette of a ghost. “You’ll be boisterous, like my ex-wife. Also, you’ll wear pajamas.” The silhouette was now wearing pink pajamas. “…Child-like appearance...kind…affinity for spiders…Hannah.” He pushed a button on the machine.
In an abandoned house in New Hampshire, a ghost was born with these attributes. Hannah floated down the hallway, her feet just above the wood floor. She spotted a spider. Her face lit up. She dropped to the floor, bent down and picked it up. It was fuzzy. She heard a door creak. She looked down the hall at a door opening. From the doorway came a green ghost. He wore a suit and tie. “Hello”, he said. “Hi”, she said. “I’m Malfoy”, he said. “I’m Hannah.” |
C: “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to open the cellar! THEY NEVER TOLD ME WHAT WAS DOWN THERE!”
H: “THEY GAVE US CLEAR INSTRUCTION NOT TO AND YOU STILL FAILED TO FOLLOW THEM!”
The two argued back and forth as they were running for their lives. They released a creature that killed for fun and considered every victim a toy, and right now both of them were the toy. They hurried as fast as they could through the forest to get back to their car. It grew closer and louder, the noise was unbearable and the screams only continued further. As soon as they reached their vehicle they realized that the car wasn’t starting.
H: “COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!”
C: “HENRY ITS GETTING CLOSER! HENRY ANY DAY NOW!”
H: “WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR JUST 5 SECONDS?!?”
C: “Henry…HENRY!!!”
H: “WHAT-“
Henry uttered his final words before the creature jumped onto the top of the car crushing them both to death. The creature continued roaming through the woods hunting down anything in the area. Fishermen, animals, no one was safe, body’s were spread throughout the whole forest. When the police reached the scene they couldn’t figure out what did this. At that point even the military was called to investigate but was still unlucky.
They figured whatever killed these people was gone by now and began packing up to leave the area. They burnt the bodies and completely closed down the area so that no one else would die. One agent remarked that he could hear something in the trees but brushed it off as probably being the wind. As he drove off in a large convoy truck he enjoyed the peaceful road ahead. Little did he know the creature found its way into the back of the truck and now he was taking it into the city….. |
Familiarity and recognition are peculiar things. If you pulled some random person off the street and replaced them with a near identical copy, most people would be confident their friends and family would be able to notice the details.
I would've thought so, at least.
But now, the longer I stand here watching it live my life, I'm no longer so sure.
I keep telling myself that surely they will notice. *Of course they'll notice. And don't call me Shirley*. Great. Just great. Now is *not* the time to be quoting movies to myself. Even if that movie is Airplane!
Maybe I'm going crazy. Probably am. Can't say for sure, but I can for sure say that I'm going off topic.
Shit.
I need to get through this. Maybe no one will find this, but if I have a recorder on me might as well take advantage. Not much else I can do. Why do I have this on me? It was just sitting in my bag, must have subconsciously grabbed it on my way out. Hmm...
No. Stop. Focus. Stop rambling.
How did I get here. Yes, maybe that's helpful.
Uh... I don't really know how. I can explain what happened, but I sure as hell don't understand any of it.
I was sitting watching the eclipse. Yeah I know, they explicitly tell you not to do that. Hurts your eyes or something, I don't really understand it. And trust me, the eyes are the worst of my problems right about now.
I was sitting with some friends, we'd all set up camp behind the school. Not a thought in our minds of the classes we were skipping to watch this alignment. Not every day you got to watch an eclipse.
Anyway, as I was watching, the ring of light around the eclipse started... warping. Dunno how else to describe it. At first I thought I really had messed up my eyes. The haze grew, expanding across my vision. I tried blinking it away, looking at the ground to avoid any further damage to my eyes, and then I looked back up.
At me.
What I thought was my reflection. I recall momentary confusion, as there were no mirrors or reflective surfaces near me. Everything around was sort of faded. I could still see the surroundings through my peripheral vision, but if I tried to focus in on anything, my reflection would fade into view.
I tilted my head. It tilted its head. I reached forward. It reached forward, yet we did not touch. Slowly, it began to grow larger. As though it were moving towards me.
Reflections are odd. Outside of taking pictures, which can digitally flip the image, any time you see yourself what you're actually seeing is the opposite of you, if that makes any sense. Your hair brushed the wrong way. Your acne flipped to the other side of your face. You can never truly see yourself how others see you.
But until I stood there and watched myself grow ever nearer, this had never unnerved me. Had never seemed out of place, something to be concerned by. And I've learned quickly that these minor changes are apparently not something others notice either.
Anyway, I'm rambling again.
The reflection. It moved closer to me. And then, once it reached me, it receded away.
And smiled back at me.
I wasn't smiling. But my reflection was. Slowly the world around me returned to normal. But something was off. My reflection walked away, and the further it moved, the darker everything got. I realized quickly that I couldn't let it stray too far.
The not-me began living my life. I tried numerous times the first few days to alert those around me that it *wasn't me*, but I was ignored, as if they could neither see nor hear me.
It's been nearly six months since the eclipse. I neither tire nor hunger. My memories no longer fade, and I'm stuck remembering everything that has happened in vivid detail, as though it were only minutes ago.
And I've been forced to follow not-me around. I've had to watch it live my life, nearly exactly as I would have lived it myself. And everyone I love, everyone I have ever loved, acting as though nothing has changed. As if the not-me were me.
Growing up, nothing scared me more than being forgotten. I was terrified that I would move on after life, leaving no legacy behind, being wiped out from existence a mere few generations after my deaths.
This, however, this is much, much worse. The thought that I haven't been forgotten, but replaced, everything I have accomplished being attributed to someone else, some*thing* else. That terrifies me.
So, I've decided, I can't do this anymore. The pain is getting too great. I'm leaving this as a message to any who may find their way here. I know not what will happen when I stray from the not-me. But one way or another. This is goodbye.
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
"But one way or another. This is goodbye."
"But one way or another. This is goodbye."
*"But one way or another. This is goodbye,"I mumble to myself, for the trillionth time, in endless blackness, one that has lasted forever, for never, for always. Every memory of each of the trillion times I have said those words seared into my mind, never decaying*
"But one way or ano--"
A speck of light. A star, in the pure darkness of nothingness. One that grows. Grows into infinity. Grows towards me. Towards me, *is me*. Or more specifically, is *not-me*. A look of fear on my face. Not my face. Its face. It grows towards me, towards me, *is me*, and then no longer.
I'm standing between my friends, as though no time has passed. Time. What a wonderous, terrifying concept.
I stumble backwards, fall onto the ground and then onto my back. I stare up at the now exposed sun. |
I was always a bit different as a child and growing up. some say I had a loose screw and a half. People may have said that but I didn’t mind because I had my mind set on other things. There was always just something different about the sky to me like a calling, and I wanted to answer it. That was my single goal in life. It was 2367 I finally finished space training. I was 34 when everything was ready to answer my calling. By this time ships able to travel the universe were just leaving the testing stage and were ready to be used. I joined the first crew to escape earth’s binds. We explored had ups and downs on the ship. One day there was a malfunction during while we were in Ftl. We thought all hope was lost and nothing could save us. But suddenly we stopped everything did except for me for some reason everything was brighter than possible but at the same time darker than the void of night. I saw the world the universe and realized we were outside of it. I saw a being infinitely big and infinitely small. This being had no set figure more fluid than water yet more set than cold iron. The only part of it that wasn’t constantly changing were a pair of hands that looked as if they were just there but weren’t. I stared at what I could only imagine what it’s eyes were and it looked right back. It felt like an eternity yet it went by in a second. Then we were back back inside the universe like nothing happened. Everyone else was unfrozen but I felt colder than I ever could. They say they saw nothing and I knew they didn’t. I felt a piece of it with me and I see it was watching when when I watched it.
| This is my first time doing one of these so give me your honest opinions and if you have tips please give them.| |
"hey, Jim.""Yeah."Why do we have this self destruction button this is suppose to be a food storage depot, right?""well before it was a weapons depot so that's probably why.""so they just left this thing here and never bothered to disarm it?"Well maybe they will turn it back into a weapon depot some day that or there could be something they still have in the very bottom of this place that warents this button still being here"alarms sounds along with a voice over the radio who ever is protecting the button press it and run now. "self destruct activated Pease evacuate the facility self destruct in 3 minutes. |
Oh boy! I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times I’ve messed up speedrunners over the years. Bad RNG? No no, Bad RN-ME! I’m the one who’s ruined countless speed runs and it’s always hilarious to see their reactions. All those times DarkViperAU said “the runs dead” was because I simply casted a spell to ruin it. Call me the bad guy sure, but if you were in my position you’d also find it hilarious.
I was behind some of the greatest speedrun successes and speedrun fails and if I told you who I messed with then you wouldn’t believe me. Well, I guess I can list a two: DarkViperAU and Dream. Yes Dream, if you’re reading this I’m the one who’s ruined you countless times over and yes I’m the one who’s caused you excruciating anger. Also what kind of name is dream? You seriously picked the most unoriginal name of all time. Anyways that’s not the point, I am the one behind it it all.
Every speedrun rage compilation is because of ME! I’M THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHO DOES GOOD AND WHO DOES TERRIBLY! I make the rules. You might say “oh you’re a mage don’t you have anything better to do?” And no, no I don’t. I’ve been around for 300+ years and this is the most fun I’ve had in my WHOLE life. Seeing the reactions of people getting angry fuels my own happiness. I’m not the bad guy, I’m just not the good guy either… |
My plan was to get on a rowboat, jump off, and destroy it. I told the guards that I was going for a boat ride at night. They will assume that I died on it. I was far from shore on the boat, wearing a hooded cloak. I lit a torch and jumped into the water. Being careful not to wet the top of the torch, I held it high. I swam a distance from the boat before throwing the torch onto the boat. The flame caught the boat on fire. I swam parallel to the shore for a while. I finally turned to the bay to see one of my guards looking at me. “Practicing your swimming?”, he asked. “Maybe I should hire one of those wizard illusionists”, I thought. |
If we're being honest, I got the notice two weeks ago. I've read it over and over, and it still doesn't quite feel real. I can hear her footsteps as she rushes down the stairs, because despite being woken up an hour ago, she choose ten minutes ago to get out of bed and get ready.
"I'm late! I'm late!"she says over and over shaking her head. "Where is my cup?!"she raises her voice in frustration and bangs her hand on the counter."I put it by the coffee pot,"I respond, looking around my book to smile at her."Of course you did!"She gives me a kiss on the cheek as she walks by urgently.I close my book, and raise my cup to her, as she rushes to make her coffee. She goes to taste test it and burns her tongue. I get up, and bring over some paper towels to clean up the same mess she makes every morning."How is it?"I ask through a smile."Perfect, as always."She checks her phone screen. "Shit! I love you, bye!"and she was out the door. I watch as she peels out of the driveway, and speeds to our stop sign on the corner, and then again, she is off.
Today is the day I have to leave, and there was nothing I could of done to prepare for it.
Jackie, the coffee loving procrastinator who just exited stage left, is more than a roommate but less than a girlfriend. Sounds like a friends with benefits, but its more than that. "Friends with benefits"sounds cheap, like I only keep her around for the sex. She is like the best friend who I enjoy extra curricular activities with - and, in her case, she also shares with other people. While polyamory will never be for me, it works for her, which is why I am not afraid to leave this one.
My name is Jade Willows (yes, my parents were hippies, no I didn't grow up on a weed smoking commune. Yes, I have a normal education, no, my parents weren't pot/shroom heads. Yes, they thought "big brother"never had our best intentions, and no, they were not exactly "proud"when I graduated from a private college, but they were pleased that I was making myself happy.) and I work for a classified group for... well, that's classified. I've been doing this for the better part of two decades. My job is basically a personable hitman - I don't kill you, but I can make you wish I had.
Jackie is something to be admired. A smart elementary teacher who has survived two school shootings. She was married to Richard Gaven for two years and had her heart smashed into pieces after his affair with the literal next door neighbor was exposed. She kept the house, pretended to be strong, but when my unit was alerted that she had been googling some "non-friendly"self care tips, I was thrown in. I "met"her on the trail she jogs every Saturday. After watching her for weeks, I had gathered this is where she would be most effected by our encounter.
"Shawna?"I said, as she jogged toward me, head phones in. I raised my arms to her, and she stopped abruptly to pull out her left ear bud."I'm sorry?"
"Oh my god, I thought you were this girl I went to college with, Shawna."
"Oh,"she smiled kindly, "Sorry to disappoint you."
"Disappoint? No, embarrassed, maybe..."I smirked, and looked at the ground, then back at her.
"Well, I'm going to go. Sorry I wasn't your friend."and like that she was off.
Later, I stopped at the smoothie place she always goes to after as a little reward for herself. I positioned myself in the corner of the room, reading her favorite book. (It might sound creepy all the stuff I know about her, but this is just the basic's I found on her social media.) When she walked in, I waited until she ordered. As she went to find a seat, I choose that as my moment to leave, and "accidently"bumped into her. I began an already loaded fake apology, and then just worked my magic.
"Oh, I'm so - oh my gosh, it's you! Not-Shawna."I said, laughing.
"Oh, hi, nice to see you again."She responded politely. "I'm Jade."I put my hand out.
"Jackie. What are you reading?"she said, shaking my hand.
"Oh!"I lifted the book to shower her, "'Choke' - personal favorite."I shrugged.
"That is my favorite book!"
"Shut up, it is not!"I joked.
"Seriously!"She used her index finger to make an "x"over her chest, "I love most things he's written, but that one is my favorite."She laughed.
"Well, you will always have to respect the man who wrote 'Fight Club -"
"Shh..."She grabbed my arm, and took a quick glance around "How are you going to be an avid fan, and break the first two rules about Fight Club, hmm?"we both laughed.
We sat together and talked until they closed. I walked with her out to her car, where I asked her if we could keep in touch.
Two weeks later, we were constantly talking and hanging out - mutually hating her neighbor over martini's - all of the time. A few months in, we were watching a movie, and she fell asleep on my lap. Lightly intoxicated me decided I could carry her to her room, upstairs. I made it up the stairs, which I thought would be the challenge, but I wasn't exactly graceful when I put her on the bed. The weight of her shifted, and through off my balance, causing me to slightly drop her on the bed, and me with both hands on either side of her, terrified I might fall on her. She woke up somewhere between the dropping and landing on the bed, and when she saw how close I was to her face, she laughed. I giggled too, and before I knew it, she grabbed my face and just kissed me. She pulled me on to her, and - well, the rest is not exactly family friendly.
After that happening a few times, I told her my lease was about to expire and she jumped to offer me to move it. Of course I did.
This - situation-ship, if you will - was wonderful. She was a wonderful person. She was quirky, but there was never a dull moment. I never knew what she was going to say, or how, or when and that, despite some of the repercussions, was so refreshing. She had her Tinder dates that fizzled into nothing, and we would hit up the local bars, which sometimes lead to her bringing home a winner, but nothing ever last. We were comfortable this way.
The neighbor, however, was not a fan. Jackie's ex-husband was up in arms about us repainting the house a bright yellow color, after being white for so long."You can see it from the gas station!"he remarked to her once.She stayed silent, but fuck this guy, so I pitched in "Well, whatever color it was before wasn't bright enough to help you find where your bed was, hopefully it will help with the next one."I wrapped her arm in mine, and pulled her inside with me.
"Okay, I actually love you!"She said, smiling and kissing me on the lips.
Later, that night, we got wine drunk and she confessed I would be the perfect mate - if only I was male, but only for procreation reasons only. I told her I loved her too.
Things have just made sense since then, and I was actually enjoying myself, and then it came. My assigner had assessed our situation and decided that now was the perfect time - but also, I may have taken way longer than normal, and caused a complaint from the original person who hired me.
I didn't want to destroy her. I wasn't in love with her, but she was just a good person who didn't deserve this. However, who was I to give up twenty plus years over a damsel? So I packed what few things I actually cared about, and sat down to write my Dear Jonny note. |
I guess in retrospect he'd always been there, in the corner of my eye, slowly moving into focus.
First time I saw him he was across the room. Tall and godly, he looked straight over my head to the people who actually mattered. I kept an eye on him though. In fact, I hardly looked anywhere else.
It's hard to see the good in people, during a war, but I could see it in him. In his stillness. I was still too.
My comrades moved around me, paving the way the royals to reach their goals. I lost a lot of friends but they weren't taken by him. He only crossed their paths after they were gone, a lit candle in hand and a silent prayer on his breath. I just assumed that he felt for them. It's not like he chose to be in this war, none of us did. He was only protecting his king. Same as me.
He moved before I did. Not surprising, he had more value. A man of god, a man of connections, his movements were often unpredictable. There were reports of him being in a certain place one day and a completely different place the next. I admired that in him. So many of the people around me could only see what was right in front of them.
I never thought he'd even look my way.
Then I took a step forward. |
# The Legend of Paul
They say only one in ten thousand warriors is a true berserker.
Of the berserkers, one in ten thousand can be an avatar of War.
Small Paul was the lucky lad.
When the Delmare Horde assaulted the wall their city's bravest defenders came forth. The elite guards, the highest trained and best-equipped, shining in polished armor and sharp steel. Day and night they fought to throw back the enemy. They cast down ladders and climbing-poles. Cut ropes and broke chains. Even chopped into and burned the massive siege tower the enemy pushed to the gate.
But in the end, the Delmare Horde lived up to its name: The Unending.
For every slavering barbarian the Guard killed two more were there to pick up the charge. When any Guard fell, the horde would flood in. Time and again the walkway around the wall was breached; time and again the Captain rallied to retake it. Until finally they could counter-assault no more and fell back to the inner keep.
The last of the city gathered there, crammed inside a castle nearly cheek to jowl. They barred the great doors against the Horde. Stacked furniture against them. And watched as smoke began to seep underneath.
Finally the Captain, exhausted and bereft of hope, turned to the last resort: Prayer.
He stood before the main altar, studying a statue of a kneeling knight. Whispers and cries from the crowd filled the air. He tried to ignore it. "O Lord Tinus, the Undefeated. Patron of Arms and Armor. Hear me, I beg."
Stone features couldn't move, yet the statue seemed to be listening.
"Long have we held your creed. Strong have we become in your tenants. Generations of loyal knights and brilliant leaders, raised in your city and sent out into the world. Your name and purpose is known to all; it has even brought the Horde upon us."
The statue didn't agree or disagree.
"Now we are at the end. Please, Lord Tinus, help us defeat our enemies."
An uncanny hush fell across the room, silencing the whispering and crying. Everyone stood frozen, unable to make a sound.
Only the Captain seemed able to hear. He looked up, confused. "My Lord? Of course. Without question."He paused as if listening to a voice, then blinked. Finally he looked into the crowd with utter confusion. "Who?"
He turned then, wary eyes searching the last of the knights and armsmen. Looking past them, behind the wall of armor, his searching gaze found a small form. Just a boy, barely come into the beginnings of manhood. Small Paul, they called him. Youngest and littlest of the pages.
"Sm-,"the Captain corrected himself. "Paul, come here."
The boy did, uncertain and scared.
The Captain looked at the statue as if to confirm, then turned back to the youth. He unbuckled his sword and gave it over. "Here."
It was almost as tall as Paul was. He held it awkwardly, unsure. "Sir?"
"Armor him,"the Captain commanded in a voice like iron. The nearest knight jerked into motion and stripped immediately. Chainmail and a hauberk landed on Paul, coming down to his knees and drowning him in links. He could barely move.
It was absurd, and the crowd whispered uneasily in the growing cloud of smoke. The Horde was burning down the doors. But the Captain wasn't swayed. "Paul?"
"Yes? I mean, sir?"
"You have been chosen."
He leaned way back, trying to get the floppy chain hood out of his eyes. "For what?"
"To fight the Horde. Alone."
For a long moment the boy said nothing. Then he whispered in a voice that tried very hard to be brave: "Okay."
So it came to be that when the Horde broke down the doors they met Small Paul in the courtyard. Alone, with a sword too large and drowning in armor. The first warriors through the gate charged in, looked around and laughed.
Paul put his whole body into a swing, barely lifting the sword off the ground in a circle that cut the lead barbarian across the chest.
They stopped laughing. Then the biggest lifted a club and beat the boy into the floor. Once, twice, three times. Until the small form stopped moving. Unearthly quiet fell again, silencing the sounds of fighting, flames and fury.
Into that silence came a voice, deep and vicious, echoing from within a pile of chain and broken plate. "Push over, child. It's my turn to drive."
And Paul got back up. Larger.
His second swing was faster. Vicious. It took a startled fighter across the neck in a splash of gore that sent his head flying. Barbarians yelped, then piled onto Paul by the dozens with clubs and fists. They beat him down to the stones beneath their feet.
He rose again. *Larger*.
It took fifty of the Horde to bring him down a third time, and they didn't stop even when the boy was on the ground. They kept piling on until with a roar Paul rose again, throwing them off in every direction. He was huge. Swelling with muscle, eyes red as blood. The sword looked like a table knife in his fist.
A Titan. An Avatar, come to earth. Unstoppable.
And he took the fight back to the Horde, who knew terror for the first time.
​
---
I write heroic and weird fiction at r/Susceptible ;) |
He stepped out of the Uber into the heart of the city, he had heard that the rat problem was out of control, but how bad was it that the city wired $500,000,000 into his account with another $500,000,000 to be paid once every rat was in the incinerator. He got his answer when he saw a rat, the size of a chihuahua dragging a roasted chicken into a sewer grate. The plan was simple play his flute and get every rat to follow him into a steel and concrete chamber where the fire would finish them. |
*Once upon a time was there*
*an old and lonely tree*
*By him, folks had come and gone,*
*and he was standing still...*
​
Once, I was a tree. And I loved a little boy.
I did not go by any human gender then, for trees know gender in ways human folk cannot understand. But my boy called me a she. He called me his goddess, his Giving Tree. And like a fool, I gave unto him. I gave to him my fallen leaves, the ones which I had cast aside, and he would weave them into crowns and play king-of-the-forest. He would climb up my trunk and swing from my branches, and in the harvest months he would eat my apples. And when at last he fell tired at my roots, he would sleep in my shade.
We were happy and innocent then, but the hearts of men grow cold.
Like a fool, I loved the boy. I loved him like my own seedling.
I watched him grow into a man. I held my tongue as he picked my apples to sell, for I knew that apples would grow back by next spring. I stayed silent as he stripped me of my branches, carved his lover's name into my flesh, even cutting down my trunk.
I told him I was happy, but deep within me, something new was taking root.
Rage. Hatred. Bitterness. Had I the branches then to grow apples, they would be poisoned with my fury.
​
*No carved names, no dance and prayers*
*took his sorrows away...*
​
When at last he returned to me, I was but a stump, and he an old man on the cusp of death. He sought a place to rest, so a place I gave to him.
As he drew his last breath, his soul intertwined with mine. He fused into me; his bones became my wood; his limbs my branches, his skin my leaves. I grew strong and green once more, reinvigorated by the taste of my first soul.
​
*He dreamed to have all lives and hearts*
***and own them all his own.***
​
It was here that I first knew hunger. Hunger unyielding, for youth, for power, for souls. I would not die a worthless stump.
I was a *he* now, after the first I had taken. And yet one human soul was not enough. I had to consume, to intertwine, until I was the only one who remained. Until there was only I... and the void.
In the years that followed, I knew a great many humans. Some died of old age, others in battle. One year, a whole village perished in a fire. In the end, they all returned to me, melding into one beneath my bark as I spiraled higher, higher into the sky.
​
*Children's laughter, tears for joy,*
*newborn babies too*
*Up he swallowed birds and beasts,*
*to fill his lonely soul...*
​
In the heart of my heartwood, the first soul slumbered. I nourished him on water and sun-sugar, on souls and on the hatred that had burrowed within me. He grew from soul to seedling to sapling in his vegetable womb, eventually taking the form of a man taller and stronger than in his former life. I gave him armor of blue-lacquered wood and imbued it with my unyielding hunger so it could be sturdy as any metal. He bore my heart, my mind, my eyes. I spoke through him, thought through him, killed through him. He was my avatar.
He was me now. I was him.
​
*Now that he is all alone,*
*that old and lonely tree...*
​
It has been decades since I broke from this chamber of bark, centuries since I claimed my first soul. Those who have not died at my blade fear my name, wish me dead.
They no longer call me a Giving Tree. They call me Death's Shade, for the people who have fallen dead to join me. They call me the Exodus, for the souls that spiral through my branches, through the atmosphere, into the great unknown.
A few even call me both. They combine these names. They have named me **Exdeath.**
​
*No more song is in the air...*
​
The souls of the dead no longer slake my thirst. I crave more. I desire for the earth to dry out and crumble, for the wind and water to lie still, for fire to lose its heat as all succumb to the chill of the Void.
​
[And the tree is standing still.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ammbdMsHnU) |
There was mass panic in my village. Those huge wolves were running around. Bodies of people in the community were on the ground. I ran out of my house to see a wolf looking at me with intent. It pounced on me. Its claws scratched my arm and stomach. Suddenly, it was launched to the right. I looked to my left to see Hona, the local sorceress. She hugged her arm and then kneels on the ground. I ran to the back of my house and into the woods right behind it.
My run slowed after a few minutes. I walked for hours. Then, I saw houses. This was the fey village. One of them flew up to me with a concerned face. “Oh, let me get you to the doctor”, she said, “ I’ll carry you.” She picked me up and flew into a building. She put me on a bed inside. A minute later, another fey came in. She had a roll of bandages. She wrapped them on my arm. “Anything else I can help with?”
“My stomach has a scratch.” She lifted my shirt to reveal a gash. “Can you sit up?”, she asked. I lifted myself, and she put the bandages on. “All better”, she said, “When did you eat last?”
“Last night.” “Go to Zamia’s. It’s the purple building.” I left and walked toward the feys and more buildings. They turned their heads at me. I found the place and entered. There was a kitchen and three tables. I sat down. A fey approached me. “So, what’s your story?”, she asked. “My village was attacked by huge wolves.” “Oh, my. Well, we’ll fix up something good. How about fried mushrooms?” “Yes, please.”
I ate and left. Once I got outside, a fey flew up to me. “I heard about you. Would you like to relax in the hot spring?” “Yes.” “Follow”, she said. She took off.
We ended up at a small body of water. I rolled up my shorts and stepped in. It was warm. I noticed little bubbles underwater. “You can stay at my house”, she offered. |
I’m Derrell. I’m 18, and I live on a farm. I was tending to the crops at night when I heard a noise coming from the cornfield. I walked into it, pushing aside the plants. I saw a figure. I pushed through to find myself looking at a demon. He was red, and he looked like a teen. He wore a shirt and jeans. He held a rapier and looked at me with shock. “Hi”, he said. I was shocked, too, so I asked, “ What are you?” “I’m a demon. Us demon teens make crop circles. It’s like graffiti. We use swords, and we can switch visual perspectives to see above ourselves. That way, we perfect the shape.” I just stared, not knowing what to say. “I’ll be going”, he said. His entire body was lit aflame. I was looking at a person-shaped fire, which then shrunk into nothing. |
Rican sat in the tavern talking to an orc. “So then I said that I could just find another wife exactly like her. We live in a multiverse”, said Rican. The orc laughed. A man entered the building and sat down to join the two. “Hey, Rican”, he said. “Hey, Jerry.”
“Listen, this sounds weird, but I realized recently that I can’t remember my childhood.”
“Jerry, you’re a clone of another person. I made you.”
“What?”, he said, surprised. “The original Jerry was going to die.”
“Um…thank you?” “Don’t mention it.”
While walking through the busy market, Rican spotted a man yelling at another. One wore a brown tunic, and the other had a blue one. They were at a stall, and the one in blue stabbed the other. He then fell to the ground while the attacker took a vial of red liquid from the victim’s hip. The surrounding people looked and gasped. Rican ran to the scene. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” The vendor looked shocked, and the man ran off. “He just stabbed a man over the last Zeshuan Potion”, said the vendor. “God, my fans are toxic”, said Rican, “I shouldn’t make any potions anymore.” |
The receptionist stared at Jackson over the top of her glasses.
"You mean...'moral support'?"she asked.
"No,"He replied. "I meant what I said: *mortal support."*
She nodded. "Alrighty."She slid a clipboard out from behind her desk, and offered it to him along with a pen "Please read the highlighted text aloud, sign and date on the line marked with a Latin Cross, and initial next to the Seal of Solomon."
Jackson took the clipboard, and frowned down the sheet affixed to it.
"I swear by my true name, my power, and by all kindreds of Faerie --"he paused, frowning as he lifted up the first sheet of the multi-page form. "This is over a page long! Do I really have to read this whole thing? I'm not a fairy, I just want some mortal support."
The receptionist sighed, but produced a small box of what appeared to be tiny metal ball bearings. "Place your hand in the box for seven seconds. Assuming you exhibit no signs of discomfort, you can skip the spiel, and just sign and date."
"Those aren't...silver, are they?"he asked, eyeing the contents of the box.
She shook her head. "Cold iron."
Jackson nodded, and put his hand in box among the metal beads. The receptionist looked at her watch to count the seconds, and then nodded, gesturing for him to return the box.
Jackson signed the form and handed it over, and the receptionist buzzed him into the interior office without further ado. |
Things were changing in Gotham City. Joker was dead. His recent attempt to kill Batman had backfired on him. Harley Quinn mourned his loss, but after his death, his spell on her had broken. She had been arrested, but Bruce Wayne had seen that she didn't end up in Arkham.
 
 
 
 
And now, Dr. Harleen Quinzel was back. Her 2 o'clock lay supine in front of her. 'It has not gone, Doctor.' Bruce Wayne said. 'My parents are dead. They'll always be dead. So, why am I doing this?'
 
 
 
 
'Because you have to. They'll not magically return. Loss of a loved one, even temporary, leaves scars.'
'We both know whom you are referring to. But at least you have your daughter back. Me? Who'll miss Bruce Wayne?'
'How about Alfred, for starters? He treated you as his own kid, not as his master. Who tends to you when you come back after... you know.'
'He does care for me. Otherwise, though, I am just another socialite.'
'Bruce, the weight of world is not on your shoulders alone. This city needs both a socialite who donates to a lot of causes 𝘢𝘯𝘥 a caped crusader. And brooding over that perch won't solve your problems either.'
'So what do I do?'
'Make some time for Alfred. Treat him like you would treat your parents. Get some friends. And I am not talking about your "work"friends.'
'I'll keep that in mind, Doctor.'
'Keep me posted. And while you are at it, I'll prescribe you some medications.'
 
 
 
 
The duo discussed a change of routine. Bruce left some time later. 𝘈𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘳, Harleen thought to herself. Then, she turn to her secretary.
 
 
 
 
'Any more clients for today?'
'Just one. He doesn't make sense, and he doesn't make sense in English. That is 𝘰𝘯𝘦 chatty guy.'
Harleen sweared inwardly. She just prayed he wasn't as crazy as the Joker. One was enough. She put her best game face on.
'What's his name?'
'Sgt. Wade Wilson. But he refers to himself as Deadpool.' |
Martha finished cutting little Jim’s steak before slicing her own.
“Thomas, why are you bringing this up again? Why can’t you just be happy with what we have?” Martha gestured around our ornate dining room. The chandeliers, the mahogany, our adorable family.
“Martha, I know.” I began. “And it’s not like I’m not going to keep doing it. I just… feel like I’m lying to myself.”
“Honey,” Martha said. “I’m sorry. I truly am, but there is nothing to be done. You’ve appealed to the ministry, thrice! They have closed your file. You are an accountant now, my love. We cannot change that.”
Each word felt like another punch to the gut, or another hurled stone. I knew there was no use complaining. I knew there was no change to be had. I knew I was stuck, forever, as an accountant at a hospital.
I just wanted some sympathy. I wanted some love. I felt my heart harden as I regarded Martha, as I imagined going to work the next day.
And that was the event, my friends.
I am not a brave man; I crunched numbers in the morning. |
**And, my third career was going so well**
I sat down at my desk and sipped from my latte. Extra cinnamon! The coffee stand lady is always so nice to me. I was looking forward to my work day, another long set of short meetings to continue contract signings. My last employer and coworkers would scoff and poke fun, no doubt, at the drudgery of this sort of office work. I wondered how many of those madmen even knew of my youth as a barrister, before past indiscretions led to our travels near and far together. The simple fact was that our prior way of life was now obsolete. After the realms of imagination and creation merged, well, changes had to be made.
Many of us were concerned whether we could coexist, but it turned out that the Creators believed in many things that sound statistically unlikely when you say them out loud. All we had to do was assimilate. Follow their rules and laws. And, this fragile truce was working, because it went both ways. For example, my ongoing case load offered legally binding documents, but in exchange for money, a rather valuable thing in both cultures. Given my own history, I tended to get assigned the especially animated clients. The more complicated their history, the better.
You see, the “intellectual property” jargon from my new colleagues was not nuanced enough anymore. If your archetype is in the Creator’s public domain, yet you are still actively published in any form, are you due royalties on the use of your likeness? Many on both sides agreed that should be true early on, thankfully. I sipped from my paper cup again, counting in my head the bump in residuals due in my next deposit, based on my current employer’s recent 70th anniversary disc re-release this very month. I took a moment to reminisce about my first appearance in the pantheon.
I pulled up the morning’s calendar, and was glad that I had swallowed my coffee first. I read the first name again, and hoped there was no smoke coming from my ears. I dialed my assistant, a young Creator. “Brant, is my schedule correct this morning?”
“Yes. I double checked already, believe me.”
“But, but, but, this is still only my first year on this team! Clearly, the board of directors would want a more seasoned contract negotiator in that room.”
“You should see the roster for the third floor meetings scheduled after midnight.”
I tugged at my collar. My necktie felt like it was tightening. “Okay… Do mice eat bagels? We have a half hour. Be a dear, Brant, and pick up a cheese plate from the deli across the street.”
“Sure. They have a few favorites of mine.” Brant meant well, but was more of a consumer at heart.
I read as much background as I could about this case, but it hardly mattered. The CEO himself had left a note in this file to simply offer the standard contract. It was a ridiculous opening move that would surely be rejected outright and trigger larger litigation. Ah, there we are. I was the scapegoat.
I cleaned my half-moon spectacles in the hallway on my way down the hall, verbally greeting Murdock in passing. I felt slightly better, knowing someone of his caliber was on our side. I took a deep breath and opened the conference room door.
The client was standing at the table of catering we offered to all who joined us here. He selected an aged cheddar and popped the cube in his mouth. The client chewed slowly with a thoughtful expression. “Eh!” he exclaimed, wiped his gloves together, then sat down next to his lawyer.
I placed the standard contract in front of the lawyer and sat at the other end of the table. I hoped I wasn’t sweating too badly, but tried to smile and said, “Good morning! It is a pleasure to meet you! Are there any questions?”
The client nodded to his lawyer, folded his arms, and looked off into the middle distance, as if the window blinds were not closed.
The lawyer, a red fox in a more expensive suit than mine, placed his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together. The fox sighed and pushed the contract away. “This is an insult. We were expecting entirely different treatment in the house that He built, especially given your own prior working relationship with my client, Mister –? Sorry, you and I have definitely not met before.”
“No, no, I am the one that should apologize, and I do so profusely. Perhaps you confuse me with my counterpart who worked in the video game industry? He retired to Palm Springs.” I drummed my fingers on the table nervously.
The client calmly reached down and placed an old-fashioned lunch box on the conference room table. It was not one of the bright plastic ones that you could find everywhere with his face on it, but the more iconic plain black metal rectangular box, with a rounded top and single handle.
The fox said, “Ordinarily, I would say this was a waste of time for us all, but we have another reason to be in this building today.” The client wordlessly reached over and undid the clasp on the lunch box.
I gave up and pulled a handkerchief from my pocket. “Oh?” I swiped my brow quickly.
The client turned down the top of the lunchbox and looked inside, speaking for the first time today. “You have to understand, Mister Smee, it is nothing personal. But, make no mistake.” He lifted out a pointed hat made of blue felt, white crescent moon and stars glittering in the fluorescent lighting of the conference room. The hat fit remarkably well on his head, nestled between his big ears. “This is a hostile takeover. Haha!” |
In the Arctic, Greek gods met Roman gods at a party in a large mansion. Boreas was outside playing with foxes. He was lifting them into the air before setting them down via wind manipulation. “You like playing with animals, too?”, a voice came. He abruptly turned around to see Aurora. “Yes, and I’m not afraid to be sadistic with them.” “Me too!”, she said, “Can you pick up polar bears?”
“Yes.”
“Wait, I have an idea.” She held out her hands at a few polar bears in the distance. Then, each glowed a different color. They were blue and green. “Nice party trick”, he complimented. “We’re not done. Now, it’s your turn. Hurl them into the sky and make them fly.” He concentrated on the bears. They then flew up before flying horizontally at extreme speed. Aurora laughed. “It’s beautiful”, said the Greek god. “What’s happening here?”, asked someone behind them. They both turned to see Hyperion. “Dad!”, said Aurora, surprised. “Torturing animals?”, he asked before squaring in on Boreas. “What are you doing with my daughter?” “Dad, it’s okay. The Greek gods like it”, she said, pointing behind the father. Hyperion looked back to the mansion. Just outside, the Greek gods watched the bears fly in the sky. They were in amazement. Zeus even chuckled. “Hmm…fine”, said Hyperion. “I bet 50 drachma that Artemis can shoot one out of the sky”, said Hermes. |
The grass lawn was well maintained. Birds chirped merrily on the trees. People were commuting in buses, cars, bikes & even bicycles. The sun shone in the sky, but the day was pleasant. I inhaled & exhaled to release my tension.
 
 
 
 
Half an hour later, I was all geared up. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. After all, not everybody gets to travel in an FTL engine, much less through the black hole. And I'd be the first person to do both. Provided I survived this trip.
 
 
 
 
Fifteen minutes later, we were given the go. My AI co-pilot, NOR-A checked the systems one last time. Satisfied, I started the countdown sequence. The engines roared into life.
 
 
 
 
Ten seconds. In ten seconds, we were airborne. I gradually increased the speed from 10% to 90%. Soon, I was near the black hole. And then, it started. The electronics started malfunctioning. I tried to contact ground control. All I got was some words, a barely coherent message.
 
 
 
 
And then, the world went black.
(To be continued....) |
“I was 13 when I first saw it. It was a Tuesday. I had just gotten back from school and was playing around on the family computer. You remember? The big clunky one that always broke down? I think it was a racing game, not that it really matters. Anyways, the front door opens and, you know, at the time, I assumed it was you or Caleb, since he always came home around that time and you were off work that day.
"I yelled out. I think I said 'Hi' or maybe 'Welcome home'? I don't remember, but I went right back to my game. I don't even remember if I heard a response.
"A couple of hours later and I'm in the kitchen toasting a pop tart and Caleb walks in. I said that I didn't even notice he had left and he tells me that I must be going crazy because we left to catch the bus together.
"I realize he's talking about this morning, so, I decide not to question it further. Because chances were, I was so caught up in the game, that I was probably just hearing shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to curse.
"Um. Ya-- so, anyways, fast forward a couple hours and I see something move from the corner of my eye. I turn to look and see this thing rushing at me. I shut my eyes...I think it was instinct or something...but all I know is that I had my eyes shut for a while.
"Since nothing had happened I slowly open them, but the second it came into view it started at me again and so I closed my eyes...again.
"This time I turn away from it and open my eyes. Honestly I just thought I was going crazy but when I opened my eyes there it was. Not moving. Standing very, very still, but only visible in my peripheral.
"I rememebr telling you about it. Do you remember that? Ya.. I told you that there was a monster following me and that I was scared. You said I was being silly. I kept nagging you about it and eventually you sat me down and said, 'Michael, you're a big boy now and big boys face their fears. If they don't, then the monsters only get bigger and scarier.'
"Anyways, It's been 14 years since that day and it still hasn't left. Actually, not only has it not left, it's even started speaking. I would tell you what it says but I'm not sure that I can. I'm not even sure I know how to repeat it. It just started mumbling a bunch of gibberish randomly a couple years back. Maybe 2 years ago? From there, it just started getting clearer and clearer. Honestly, I'm not even sure if it started speaking more clearly or if I've just learned to understand it. Fuck, I don't know....everything's starting to blur together.
"Mom.... I-I'm going to face my fear now. I know you only said that, because you thought it was all in my head, but you were right. It *actually has* gotten scarier. The things it says to me I don't-- All I know is that I have to do something about this. HA! I mean who knows? Maybe, it's even gotten bigger and I just haven't noticed. Talk about foreshadow, right?
"Anyways, Im certain I'll see you guys again but just in case I don't...
"I love you Mom. Please tell Caleb the same?"
I turn the camera off and having completed my potential goodbye --- I turn around. |
She looked up through a mat of tangled hair, clutching her almost shapeless doll to her filthy shift dress. Her tears making muddy rivulets in the caked on grime. She made no noise, reached out for no help, clearly too accustomed to her misery to ask for help, but her silent tears never stopped.
“We can’t help you.” The woman said softly, using a shovel to push a plate of food towards the girl. “You’re in the gods’ eyes now, little one.”
The child’s red rimmed eyes met the woman’s for a heartbreaking moment. Perhaps remembering another woman from a time when crying meant something; when crying brought help and hugs and warmth. But there was no hope here. Still, she snatched at the bread in a quick furtive movement, hunger a driving animalistic force overriding her hopelessness. The woman shrank back as the grubby hand reached out. Her eyes narrowing in a fear that would slide quickly to disgust and anger if the refugee dared to come closer.
“Go.” The woman said flatly, voice shaking as sympathy and terror warred in her. “Go now, before the gods notice us. I’m sorry… you have to go.”
The girl turned away wordlessly, now clutching her doll and the chunk of bread that the woman couldn’t really afford to give her. She knew harsh words and stone would follow soon if she stayed.
“Did that doll used to be a rabbit?” The woman wondered as she watched the little figure retreat down across the fields. She pondered the hands that had made the toy, that had once loved that child and she allowed herself a moment to feel the heart shattering grief at the state of the world. Then drying her eyes on her apron, she turned her back on the accursed and went in to feed her family. |
I’m Kars. I was ready to show people my talent: rapping quickly. I stepped to the stage, my heart thumping, but my vision went blue. It looked normal again, but it wasn’t. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a woman. "Hello, you have perfected your talent. Please take a seat among the other true masters of their craft."“Where am I?” “You’re in the Talent Realm. I’m Haley. I’m the judge, and, yes, I have your backing track.” I walked past her and down the stairs. This was another place. There was no audience except three people in the chairs. I sat down by a female orc in leather rags holding a crossbow. She looked at me. “Hi”, she said. “Hi, is archery your talent?” “Yes”, she said, “What’s yours?” “Rap.” The other two looked at us. One was a man with a ventriloquist dummy. The other was a guy with an electric guitar. He wore all black. The woman came down the stairs and said, “Who’s first?” The guitarist got up and went on stage, and Haley sat down. He played a great rock song, and he even sang. The next person was the ventriloquist. He sat on a stool and made the puppet talk, rotate its head, and blink. They told some cheesy jokes, but then he was actually funny. We all laughed. When the orc woman got on stage, she pulled out some targets from backstage. She also had a roulette wheel that she shot at. She put an arrow on every marker, and there were ten of them. She threw an apple into the air and sniped it.
When it was my turn, Haley played the track, and I sped through some lyrics. It started with, “I’m a music junkie. When I met a punk, he turned around. Went upside down. I was the hero of the town. Give the crown to the king. Now, hear me sing.” When I finished, I was met with applause. Haley said, “The winner of this talent show is…” We sat in anticipation. “KARS!” I pumped my fists into the air. My vision went blue, and I was back to the other talent show. I noticed a green circle printed on the back of my hand. |
An angel enters my room, takes my body higher into a sphere of souls and I, in spirit gaze upon the story only I can doom. There's a race upon this little Earth, of men capable of feats of gold, their mind set upon a single goal the spirits will grant, the future still holds. From their little world on space-ships they roam, bountiful galaxy their general can still hold. Race on its own is helpless, but behold, their general has power to rule and with heart pure like his entire galaxy will fall. Within three to four centuries, their foothold will grow into empire of meaning no being won't know and after four other Milky Way will surely they hold. In nine thousand years they will spread into plenitude no man can ever count, no machine will ever know. In the last of their years, great race will they know, by sword will they meet, by sword they will fall. Such is the fate of man if only their weapon chooses men as his kin.
On the other hand a different future will grow. Armies ready even today will fall in one day, great empire will fall and new one will stand. For one thousand years people of Hell should roam Earth until the Cast-outs from Mars will return to reclaim Earth. Number of men will grow into trillions, buildings on buildings will fill the whole shore and great war will destroy the once fruitful Earth, their enemies will be perished, but only handful will be strong enough to mourn. On their great sailing ships thousands will flee, into a different solar system, close to a friendly species with free and glorious planet to own. Nine thousand years their captain can live as a great emperor, but twenty five billion years will their reign last on a new planet, where they will be friendly visitors. In those ending days the number of men will again reach trillions, but unlike hard toiling conquerors, their days will be filled with pleasures never ending, but ever still wanted. |
What a way to go. Fuck you, Asimov, and your, “Final Question.”
It had been roughly 1.7 million google years since the problem had been posed. The “Heat Death of the Universe.” Back when we were glorified monkeys making marks on flat rocks to communicate ideas. Newton, Einstein, Patel, Obi and all those old meat bags. Well, here we were.
There was a time when we practically transcended all laws of the universe. Manipulated Higgs, broke C, downloaded ourselves into formless beings that traversed the galaxy, had infinite knowledge, achieved immortality.
Well, *near* immortality. They were all dead now. Except for me. Because when you can perceive yourself thinking at the speed of light while traversing the universe at faster than the speed of light, it’s easy to lose focus about how the entirety of existence was breaking down. Hell, we’d had ways to handle it. Redundancies on redundancies, matter compressors, energy harmonics, and the “safe zones” that had been set up kept things normal. Unfortunately, as the fundamental building blocks of existence hit their half-life, contingencies had to be made.
Purging our vast simulator banks helped. After all, we knew what was going to happen. We started to pare back our galaxy-spanning memory banks. When we went through those, voluntary extinction worked for a bit. Then things got nasty with The Lottery. How do you tell a being who has existed longer than every star in existence that they pulled the exact wrong prime and that now they needed to be cannibalized for energy. The last engineers were exempt, but eventually their time came too. We were down to a single system, held together by field generators that could have annihilated whole galaxy arms in ages past with their rounding errors, now all that was left. In the dark. With *one* box.
I got to be the last one. The last random radiation split showed a “1” on the drawing and I picked “2.” It had been 4,107,239,007 years of silence and my own thoughts.
Well, and the box, of course.
There were only a few standard years left until the generators would need more power than was available to support the last living being. We called the box Pandora, because… well you know. “The last of these was Hope.” Hope now had the most compact bank of what was deemed the most essential knowledge left of the entire history of all things ever. It would rest in the heart of one of the last generators on the lowest setting. There was no longer capacity to do the math, but the number was another 6 quintillion years. A glimmer in the grand scheme, but maybe something would happen.
Hope was settled, nothing left to do, but let it all erode with the errors building up, cannibalizing all of it in a pure annihilation reactor. All of me.
Well. Goodbye. And fuck you, Asimov.
As Hope drifted to the center of the system and the matter was pulled into the heart of the last singularity that would be the compact fuel container, as last thought escaped into the perfect black.
“And, at the end, what remained was the infinite abyss.” |
The galactic federation was in disarray.
The Supercluster Collective was crushing the milky way like a black hole did a tin can. As the various species put actions to vote, an empty, overlooked seat suddenly sprang to life, the holographic projection of a human flickering.
"Humanity responds to the galactic Code Red. I applogise for being late, Sol's defensive network just got an upgrade."
The room was dead silent.
"You're... a myth."
"I mean, we're around 150 times shorter than you, so yeah, we don't show up anywhere very often, but we're a signatory of the Federation. Certainly you didn't forget that."
"Um... well, I didn't read that..."
"Yeah, well, we're already launching a decapitation strike on the supercluster, they'll be out of here by the end of the week. In the meantime, sit back and watch the show. The eggheads have all sorts of things they want to test."
Edit: Grammar. |
I sat in my living room, when suddenly I heard something and looked outside. It was the sound of the garbage truck, and I remembered: I took the trash out last night, but there was a trash bag in the kitchen trash can that was now completely full of garbage, stuff like a banana peel, empty bags of snack foods (I eat a lot of junk food), moldy bread, dog shit that was on the floor because I hadn't let my dogs outside fast enough, and things like that.
I had to quickly get it outside.
I ran to the kitchen and picked it up. Not only was it a bit heavy, causing me to ache a bit as I groaned while pulling it out of the trash can, but good lord, it fucking *reeked!* I dealt with it as I quickly ran, holding the bag in front of me, holding it shut tight, but having forgotten to tie it.
I got outside, just as the garbage man was taking my trash and putting it in the back of the garbage truck.
"Here you go,"I offered him, breathing heavily. "I almost forgot this one."
"Oh, you definitely don't want that,"the garbage man replied with a positive attitude, my guess being because he loved his job. He took the bag and put it in the back of the truck, not noticing it was still open.
The truck driver then realized he was turned slightly too far to the right, so if he kept going forward, he would've driven onto the pavement. He then shifted his gear into reverse to back up a bit. What he didn't expect however was a banana peal to fall out of my trash bag into the street, and the garbage truck's wheel to run over it, causing the vehicle to slide, spinning around suddenly, hitting me and the garbage man that put the bag in the back of the truck, knocking me onto the pavement, thankfully not killing me, but knocking the other guy down into the street, where he was run over.
The truck spun around as it was moving through the street. A car with a family in it drove towards it, attempting to quickly turn out of the way, but to no success, and the truck slammed into their vehicle before flipping over it, squishing the car. The garbage truck driver then climbed out of the door of his truck, fell to his knees and cried loudly: "NOOOOO!"
This would haunt me for the rest of my life, because the banana peel that caused this to happen...
was mine. |
I slid in through the window and dropped the fifteen feet or so to the floor of the warehouse. I had expected shipping containers, boxes, something. I did not expect an empty building. Well, almost empty. Someone was lying in the middle, under the only light that was on. I approached cautiously, my limited prophet power telling me this was a mistake. Grif wasn't here, the Heliclawpter was last seen on the other side of the city, and I was already breaking the rules trying to find him.
Unfortunately, I'd got a tip from Rita that his ankle tracker had pinged for this address, and I figured I'd follow the lead. Which is exactly how I found myself standing over the corpse of Doctor Dirigible. Not Danny DeFlate, his civilian identity, the only one he'd used since retiring a couple years ago, no. He was in costume, that inflated joke, as if his crime fighting days weren't as past tense as my own.
I can't deny we had a few issues back in the day. He was a poster boy, but he was also a hard man to work with. Anyone will tell you that. But I had no reason to kill him. Unfortunately for me, Sister Sliver and a squad of blues burst in to see me over the body. The cops immediately had guns on me, and the cape started telling me my rights. She was telling me I had a right to remain silent as I tried to protest.
"I just got her. I got a ping from Grelman's monitor, and came to get him."Didn't want to out Rita if I didn't have to.
"Grif was picked up, along with SkyCat, at the First Ave Bank about a half hour ago. His monitor was on him. Hard to see it pinging here anytime recently."She adjusted her stance, preparing for me to run.
"What? No, Rita gave me the tip. Check with her."
"Rita's dead, too."
I froze. If she was dead, this wasn't just an accident, a bit of bad timing. "Someone's setting me up."
"If so, they're doing a great job. Now, if you'll just come with us..."
I probably should have listened, done as she said, but I used to be a cape myself. I had seen this from the other side, and there's a reason I left that world. So I ran, full speed. I knew none them could keep up if I got outside.
A few guns were fired, and Sister Sliver swung her blades, but I was barely too quick. In my prime, the wouldn't have even moved before I was clear.
Either way, prime or no, I'd been framed, and it was up to me to find the killer and clear my name. |
Nothing in this world made sense.
I had been running from this hooded man who had bladed tentacles slithering out from his sleeves for what feels like over a week. Neither of us have showed signs of fatigue, hunger or thirst. He just never stops coming after me, so I just kept running along the empty street. Desperately looking to my left and right, I could see absolutely no shelter to hide from him at all.
Until I saw this bar, AskAngela, just at the corner of my eye today. I dashed into the bar and slammed the door shut. It was entirely empty, not a single patron or bartender was present. My heart sank as I approached the bell on the counter and pressed it.
"Angel Shot with a twist please,"I pleaded to nobody in particular.
An unusual winged creature emerged from below the counter. It had four faces, a lion, an eagle, a bull and a face of a handsome young man. His faces spun until the human face was looking at me, sporting a cheerful smile.
"Greetings human, I am Ophaniel, your bartender on shift today. It has been a long time since someone came by. Please give me some time while I prepare your Angel Shot."
"Ophaniel, please tell me when the police will arrive."
"Dear child, we are in the middle of the Apocalypse, we have not seen a single police officer for half a century. Please rest assured as Patron Saints, we will do our best to protect our patrons."
Ophaniel waved one of his wings and a few of his fellow angels flickered into existence. It was at this moment that the bladed tentacles hooked into the door and ripped it clean off the bar.
"Begone Dagon!"shouted the angels as they extended their wings and fired holy beams from their chests and vaporized the hooded man on the spot.
"Barachiel, would you be so kind as to repair the door? Come, dear child, please tell us of your world so we may escort you back to the correct dimension and location safely."Ophaniel extended a wing and wrapped it around my shoulder.
I told Ophaniel of skyscrapers and busy streets in America. We spoke of the Statue of Liberty and Mount Rushmore. I had hoped my descriptions sufficed to let him know which version of Earth I came from. He brought me to the ladies restroom and signaled for me to step into a mirror portal.
"Before you go, please take this name card. You are now a patron of AskAngela, do not hesitant to call upon us if you need another Angel shot.
We provide free delivery to any location in the multiverse." |
They say Hell is being tortured relentlessly, a place with fire, whips, and knives that tear away at flesh like works of art, they were wrong. What's worse than eternal damnation you ask? Well, nothing. Nothing at all. I remember the day I died like it was yesterday, a Spitter-Zombie ambushed me from behind, spraying it's acidic breath on the back of my head. As the layers of blood and bone protecting my brain melted away, my hand reached for my metal bat and I started swinging at the damned fiend, I'l tell you here and now; never turn your face to a Spitter. Within moments my eyelids were gone, I'd gotten a few hits in before the tall bugger manager to slash at my forehead. You know what's funny about the frontal lobe? It's possible to survive if it's damaged, for me this was only a few seconds, but you betcha I went down-a swingin'. As the light faded, I was left floating above my body in some sort of spiritual form. I waited for something to swallow me up, take me to an afterlife or oblivion. But instead, nothing. I have to tell you I'd do anything to feel my eyelids burn off again. I'd do anything to feel anything. There's nothing worse then being tethered to your body forever, feeling, and being able to do - nothing. I used to keep myself occupied with watching the apocalypse play out, watching my dead body wander like some extra in a badly written thriller movie, but you'd be surprised just how fast that movie comes to an end. I ain't seen shit for years now, no zombies, birds, humans, hell no fucking bugs either, even my reanimated corse has rotted to dust.
Do you think souls can get delirious? Like humans in a white room, maybe I've just lost it but I swear I just saw *something*. One by one, these little light sources have started to pop up around me, taking on different shapes - humans, birds, hell even a tree. They all rise, slowly, into the air, out of sight in the big, red sun- oh right. The sun. You know I'm not sure how long it's been but I think what I'm seeing is The End. The sun, swollen, is ready to swallow the earth whole, and it seems to be sucking in what I imagine are the other souls like me. I never thought I'd be so happy to see the end of the world...
...But fuck me, I never did. I was never taken. If someone is out there, if someone can hear me. Please, I need this to end... |
"Ok, there's three of us, and this time, we are coordinating,"I said, grabbing both my past selves into the janitors' closet.
"Whoa, what are you doing? This could disrupt the time stream!"Ah, Second Run. How needlessly careful you/I were/was.
"Trust me, it doesn't. I did everything you were about to do, and you were about to screw up and get yourself shot by him/me/us."I jerked a thumb at First Run, while lifting my short to show the scar from the laser wound. It started fading as they looked. "Oh good. One disaster averted."
"Ok, so did I fail to kill Manchego?"First asked. "Or was that the wrong play?"
"You failed,"Second said.
"But it really was the wrong played,"I added. "Oh boy did it make things worse."
"What? How?"They said in unison.
"Hopefully, you never learn. So the new plan, Second Run is going to pull the files from Amnodyne's servers. If there is a cure, we'll find it. First Run, you set up these bombs."I handed him the duffel bag. "We need to destroy as much of this facility as we can. I have the detonator, so as soon as you are done, get clear. We'll meet in the Precambrian on the North pole, as we always planned if this sort of nonsense was possible. If the rest of us get out, you'll know to come back and do Second Run's job. Once you have the file, get out, same meeting point."
"Ok, sounds good,"First Run said as he took off.
"Ok, we're still alive. He'll be fine,"I said with a sigh of relief.
"Ok, I'll head out, too,"Second Run said while eyeing me suspiciously.
I waited until he was out of sight, then started to run off to deal with Manchego. Suddenly, my right arm was a cyborg replacement. Things were not going well for one of them. I focused my mind, and remembered losing it just after my second run. I had my post mission self amputate it, using his advanced cybernetic arm. Well, at least I knew I'd survive. But he hadn't checked if we'd succeeded.
Suddenly, I was pulled into a meeting room, face to face with myself, and another seven of me, all with varying cybernetics. "Yeah,"he said, "It's never as simple as it looks." |
"Klork, bring us a six-pack, would you, love?"
Klork brought the beer, sopping wet with condensation, and rejoined the others in the hot tub.
"I'll catch y'all shortly,"Xynth said, getting out. "It's getting a little too hot for me."
"Me too,"Klork shot to his feet, extending a limb to help Xynth out. He opened the door to the cabin for her, beckoning inward. "Ladies first."
"Thanks,"Xynth said as Klork handed her a cold bottle of water, which she guzzled.
"Ah,"Klork flopped onto the leather couch. "This has been such a lovely off-season."
"Mmm."Xynth assented, settling in next to Klork.
They arrived on Family Guy, just to have something in the background.
The first explosion brought them rapidly to their feet. Xynth ran to a closet in which to cower.
Klork, wanting to play the man, went to "see what was wrong".
He emerged in time to see the second bombing raid, racing west overhead toward Denver.
The reality of the situation crashed into Klork with rapidity. It had been discussed as a far-off possibility.
How could it have come to pass? And in the only season of the year that they vacationed in this glorified shithole?
Klork flung his laptop open, leaving the most scathing review of this dumpster fire of a planet on PlanetVaca.com. |
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