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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19F] boyfriend says he [20M] doesn't know if he cares about me
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together a few months now and although we got off to a rough start due to some mental health issues, things were going okay. Lately we'd been stressed about finding jobs and bickering about dumb stuff, and it just feels as though he doesn't care about me, or he doesn't know how to communicate that he does. He doesn't compliment me very often, or do anything related to the 5 Love Languages despite taking the tests. We were arguing and I asked him why he doesn't do anything to show he cares, and he said he didn't know. I asked if he wanted to be with me and he says he doesn't know. He says he doesn't know if he has the capacity to care about someone in a relationship, and that he thought he cares but now he doesn't know because I explained to him how he should show he cares and he didn't know it required so much effort. I'm so heartbroken because it feels like he isn't even trying to fix anything or that he cares enough to.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend doesn't know if he cares/doesn't seem to want to make the effort to. I've never felt more alone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trusting my best friend
POST: Now this happened a few months ago, just a disclaimer.
Lately, money had gone missing from various peoples houses and the only real similarity was that my friend, lets call him Lucas, had been going around each of them. He was leaving for Denmark soon and he decided to have a massive farewell party. As things had been pretty rocky before he left between us, we decided to just even things out when he came over. We had fun, played league- all around a good time until he left when my maid found out that 100$ had gone missing. Of course i called him up and he denied it even though it was obvious as we had security systems installed in our kitchen.
Anyway, the next day was suppose to be his farewell party, and we were all invited. Because i was spiteful to him stealing from me, I decided that I wasn't going, but I also didnt want anyone else to go. So i pulled a dick move and got everyone to not come because of what he did and while doing so i told him to buy a lot of booze since we were coming.
A few hours before we were supposed to show up, he snapchatted all of us a picture of all the booze, easily 600$ in stuff not including the snacks and mixes he bought.
I felt guilty but a part of me justified it as he had stolen from us all. So come a couple of hours and he messages all of us wondering where we are and doesnt get a reply. The next day he leaves and non of us have spoken to him since.
I fucked up because even though he stole from my friends and I, I still dont think it was very nice having nobody show up to your farewell party and its been bothering me for a while so it feels good to come clean.
TL;DR: | best friend" stole from me and co. I get everyone to skip his farewell party, he leaves the country alone with no goodbyes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Slept with best friend (also ex-girlfriend's best friend).
POST: I love you guys on Reddit. Due to personal reasons, this is a throwaway account, unfortunately.
My ex-girlfriend (23/F) and I (22/M) had been dating for three years, until one month ago when we broke up (mutually). Her best friend (22/F) used to hang out with me and her all the time (4 years), and we eventually became extremely good friends.
She used to be interested in me before my ex and I started dating, but it turned into a very close friendship afterward. We even joked that I was dating the two of them, since they were so close.
My ex girlfriend and I mutually broke up a little over a month ago, after a three year relationship. We were living together, so I chose to move out and find another place to live. I have been spending so much time with her best friend.
One night, we got drunk together, and slept together. All my friends think me and my ex's best friend (also my best friend) are cute together, and should date. I am clearly attracted to her, and her to me. At least to the point of casual sex. But I don't know how to deal with this. She also broke up with her boyfriend about the same time my now ex-girlfriend and I broke up. I think I'm falling for her. She is going to a family Christmas party with me in a couple weeks. How do I progress? I don't want to ruin her relationship with my ex, but I also don't want to ruin her friendship with me. I love her as a friend, but I also want something more.
What do I do? Am I a friendship destroyer?
TL;DR: | My best friend is also my ex-girlfriend's best friend. I'm falling for her, and we recently slept together. She's hiding it. What do I do next? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] got my first tinder match [19 F] that I didn't completely fuck up within the first few messages. So far things are going good. How long should I wait before asking to meet in person?
POST: First off, I am very inexperienced with dating. All of my romantic experience so far seems like it has come from pure luck. Second, I have never met up with someone I met online before. Anyway, I have no idea what to do. She swiped right after I super liked her, so I am wondering if she likes bold moves and if that's the case I want to ask her to lunch tomorrow or saturday (the day after). However, I really don't want to fuck this up. She is exactly my type- petite, redhead, intelligent, kind of nerdy, etc. Am I over thinking this? Also, what should I do for a first date? I was thinking lunch but the small town we're in doesn't really have any good restaurants that aren't more expensive than I really want to do. Coffee seems nice, but I don't particularly like fancy coffee and I have no idea if she does either. There isn't really much else to do in this shitty town, and there is a large city within a 45 minute drive, but I don't want to ask her to get in a car with a stranger (me) or drive all that distance.
Anyway, I am probably going to ask her on a date soon anyway since that's just my gut feeling, but I want advice first in case this is likely to fuck things up.
TL;DR: | got my first tinder match that I can actually see going somewhere and I'm super nervous about how to proceed. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22/f) boyfriend insults me and doesnt apologize (25/m) then blames all the relationship problems on me.
POST: Im at a standstill in my relationship. We have been fighting a lot lately. Basically, he has issues with interrupting and talkimg over me. He has had the issue from day 1. He used to try to fight it, for a few months everything was good because he actively watched his interrupting and made sure he did it less. Now he has stopped trying. Conversations are hard, especially when I am upset. He regularly interrupts my sentences and puts words in my mouth (eg. I told him he should be nicer to the people at his work, he interrupts and says "so you're sticking up for X Person?" & im like, "No, I was going to say be nice because you work a lot of hours wi th these people in a small place. Be nice to them to make your work life easier.") It creates many miscommunications between us. Now, when I bring up the issue, he likes to tell me, "Well I may interrupt, but you do xyz," & I say ok, I can work on that, but how can I if u dont take the interrupting seriously?" Another new habit he has is not apologizing. This happens often. He told me today I needed to see a therapist from before we started dating (I am fine, he just stresses me out) & I told him I took that offensively and I asked for an apology. He said he wasnt going to because it 1. Was true and 2. Was a "statement" not an "insult" (???) Basically he is no longer the man I fell in love with and when I told him that he told me that makes him feel mentally abused (????) Does this guy even care about me? He says he loves and respects me but im so confused. Is this even worth working out? Every time I bring up an issue its because of me. He isn't to blame for any problems, he turns everything back on me..
TL;DR: | bf is not very nice anymore, respectful, or kind. Doesnt apologize for anything. Blames me for everything. Then says ill never find another guy like him again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: How can I go about asking her out?
POST: So I (18) have been friends with this girl (17) for a while now and our communication in terms of texting and face to face has been a little bad recently. I only see here around in the halls and once a week for about two hours at an after school club before I drop her off at her house.
I used to have a crush and the feelings have resurfaced. Idk how she feels about me and if she feels that we are anything more than friends. She was very excited to get me into the club, but other than that I can't be sure how she feels.
I was wondering if you know any good ways to start conversation/check to see how she feels about me?
I've been single for a while and my self esteem is kinda shot, so I'm kinda awkward about this stuff.
TL;DR: | I like this girl, but idk if she likes me back. Lack good communication. Would like to ask her out but don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (20F) Is coming over my house (20M) and would like some tips and what I should expect
POST: Well I Previously wrote on /r/dating_advice on how I should approach this girl /coworker I've had a crush on([Context] and final took the step to ask her out after finding out she was actually single. After going on our first "date" where I just took her to a coffee date and we talked for a good hour, and then talked outside of the coffee shop for another good 20 minutes. We have been texting on and off but not excessively due to the fact that she has made it clear she hates clingy guys so I didn't want to over do it. I recently invited her over to watch a movie/netflix after she suggested we should hang out again. I will be in my living room due to parents not thinking it is proper to bring a girl to a guys room. So I while hanging out should I make the move to at least kiss her or should I be more conservative? Any help would be great on how I should handle this, because she is one of the first girls I've ever asked out so I'm a little inept.
TL;DR: | Asked coworker out, date went great, now she is coming over what should I expect and how should I handle myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27m] coworker [24f] is really misunderstanding our hookup
POST: About 6 months ago, I [27m] hooked up with a coworker [24f] at a party. I knew she liked me, but I made sure she knew it was just a fun thing, no commitment, etc. I made sure she understood. She seemed perfectly ok with it...until about a month ago.
Our work schedules ramped up, and I started pulling a lot more hours, which meant that I put my social life on the backburner. She began to complain about how we don't hang out anymore (we used to go grab lunch with other coworkers, or go out for happy hour). I explained that I've been busy working, and it seemed to placate her a little bit. I skipped out on her birthday party because I was out of town...and it seemed to raise some sort of hell. I woke up the next morning to 17 SOBER texts. I replied that I was out of town (she knew I was), and then a week later, I get messages over and over again. 5 - 10 a day. All saying how I don't care about her, how she misses me, etc.
I asked her politely to stop, that she's a good friend, but I've been busy, but she really needs to relax a little. Then it went into a 20 some odd text message novel about how I'm just throwing away what I had, how she wants things to be normal, etc. I told her that I'm going to stop replying, because she's making me uncomfortable, and it turned into her calling.
I REALLY don't want this to escalate, because we work REALLY close together (literally next to each other). Is there something I can do about this?
TL;DR: | coworker and I hooked up once, seemed to understand it was just for fun, nothing serious, but is now going a bit overboard. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Saving money for a wedding?
POST: So I am 20 and I have recently received $5000. I've been thinking what to do with this money and I figured I would save it for when I get married.
I've been with my gf for 2 years and we talk about marriage. We decided we won't get married until at least one person has their degree and another one has started their career. That will happen in about 4-5 years.
Any idea of where I should put this 5000 so it can grow? I have my own savings and emergency funds , not debt, still live at home. So I wouldn't need to touch it - And if in they event we don't get married then I'll still have money growing.
TL;DR: | I have $5000 that I won't be touching for 4-5 years- what should I do with it so it can grow? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone else feel like they don't express emotion because of something that happened in childhood?
POST: Something I occasionally say in jest but which just got real for me while chatting with a friend. It started with this comic:
I usually note that I don't typically express emotion and as we were conversing about this comic, I without thinking typed this and now may have found a reason why I don't express. Transcript from the convo:
Me: I still feel like a beached tentacool occasionally. Middle school and high school were no exception, and you might not have hated me but I'm sure you remember how you acted toward me.
Friend: I do and I'm sorry for that
Me: Don't be. The only thing is you didn't hate me and you acted that way. That should say enough about what it was like growing up.
Friend: I am though. You didn't even do anything to me. Idk why I acted like I did. I was a jerk and I'm sorry igf I made you feel bad about yourself.
Me: Lol. The thing is, I never did anything to anybody and that's how everybody treated me. That's the reason I don't express emotion. It takes a lot for a kid to know all of that and act like it doesn't matter. At some point, you just break
Fin.
It's very strange to think about. I wonder what kind of person I would be had I had a different upbringing. Am I the only one?
TL;DR: | Wondering if being picked on as a kid affected me more than I thought/gave it credit for and if anyone else has had the same happen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [23M] and his younger sister are getting kicked out of their home and I [21F] don't know what to do
POST: They both live with their dad and their house has been for sale for ~5 months. Last Sunday they all went out for dinner when his dad announced that he and his new fiancee are moving in together and there isn't enough room to house them. They have about 2 weeks to find a place to live and are understandably freaking out a bit
His mother is a very successful lawyer, but when I suggested he ask her for some help, even if just for a month or two, he shot it down. They have a complicated relationship and he's not her biggest fan. I then suggested he ask some of his family members for help or a place to stay for a while so he can figure things out and he replied that he doesn't want to inconvenience them and that even just asking would be rude.
He's still in school, his sister is still in high school, there's no way they can afford anything halfway decent on such short notice. I'd honestly offer to let them stay with me, but I still live with my parents.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and his sister are getting kicked out and refuse to ask for help from his family. I feel helpless and have no idea what to do to help/if I even should. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex[22M] is getting a female roommate, and I[21F] don't know how I feel about it..
POST: He broke up with me in early August, and it's been a tough month for the both of us.
Recently, his roommate abruptly decided to move out and my ex was left to scramble to find a roommate. A friend of a friend was looking for a place, and he mentioned he was looking for a new roommate.
Problem is, she's a girl.
When he told me, he reassured me nothing is going to happen. He doesn't want any sort of awkward encounters with her and doesn't want to run the risk of losing another roommate.
I kind of told him I was uncomfortable with this decision and told him "things happen" in those kind of situations. He doesn't believe he'd do anything like that, but I'm worried he may be tempted in the future.
I know we broke up, but I still hold a little bit of hope that we may get back together. And I'm scared that if he's living with another girl, he'll start hooking up with her and our window of opportunity to salvage our relationship will be gone.
Should I be more honest with him, or simply get over our break-up and hope he doesn't do anything stupid?
TL;DR: | Ex-boyfriend is getting a roommmate, and I'm scared they'll hook up and he'll forget me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My fiance (27) didn't come home to me (26) last night because he missed his last train.
POST: My fiance lives in Tokyo, and I live in a suburb 1.5 hours from Tokyo. He said he was going to come home last night after going drinking with his basketball team. Trains stop running around midnight in Japan, and we had agreed he would be home around 12:30. At 11, he texted me, saying he would be late. Then at 12, he asked if it was okay to stay at his apartment in Tokyo for the night since he couldn't make his last train.
He said one of his teammates showed up really late, so they all stayed out later. He is Japanese, so it's hard for him to leave early since drinking together is kind of an obligation in Japan. Still, I feel like that mindset is changing, and he could tell them he had to leave if he really wanted to.
I feel like this is disrespectful to our plans to see each other that night, and he didn't worry about missing his train to my apartment since he figured he could just go back to his place. Am I overreacting?
TL;DR: | My fiance missed his train to come to my apartment and had to stay at his, but we had plans to meet. Should he have left his friends sooner? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] am becoming increasingly worried that my girlfriend [21F] is cheating on me but have no concrete proof.
POST: Lately iv gotten red flags from my girlfriend but it's definitely possible i'm just being paranoid. It is important to note that we are in a long distance relationship and only see each other twice a month due to the location of our colleges. The first red flag i got was when her facebook relationship status became hidden. When i asked her about it she seemed surprised and said it must have been a glitch and changed it back to "in a relationship" but didn't tag me. Lately she has seemed a little distant and doesn't talk as much but i figured she is simply busy and it's nothing to worry about.
Today was a big one though. We were having a regular conversation and she said "i love you" which was sweet but then about a minute later she said "no problem baby" even though i never responded to "I love you." She quickly said that she meant to send "no problem baby" to her roommate because she agreed to do her a favor and that they just jokingly talk to each other like that. Outside of these few scares she is really sweet and has introduced me to her family as her boyfriend and all that so it makes me wonder if maybe i am just being paranoid. I'm afraid to bring these things up to her because she will likely just say she is hurt i would think that. I really do love her but will not tolerate cheating, however i feel like i don't have enough evidence to confirm i'm not just being paranoid.
TL;DR: | She seems distant lately and accidentally said "no problem baby" to me instead of someone else who is supposedly just her roommate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Lost a job offer because my brother stole my identity and the courts are too lazy to clear my name
POST: My brother is a multiple-offender. He is a drug addict, in-and-out of rehab, has served 3 sentences in jail totaling 2 years, etc. He has ruined my family, my life, my savings, everything. I could go into a lot of detail of how he is a total dick, but it's not worth it.
In April 2010, he stole my parent's vehicle and bought drugs then got in an accident. He was arrested for the incident, and he said that his name was my name. (He knew my social security to prove he was me, but he was in Denver and I was in Cleveland at the time.)
I have tirelessly worked to clear my name, having gotten in contact with the state investigation bureaus and done fingerprints and hired a lawyer, and the state said "it was handled", but I just got denied a job because, as the HR lady said "they found some things on my record." It was NOT me, and I have done everything I can, but the damn laziness of the judicial system has just SCREWED me out of a seriously awesome job.
I dunno if I am venting or if there is advice I can get, but what do I do?
TL;DR: | brother commits crimes, uses my identity, I tried to clear it up to no avail, lost job offer because of false criminal record, wat do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Difficulty with SO [m20] "best friend" [f20]
POST: I'm [f20] am having difficulties with my SO [m20] best friend [f20] from high school. We have been dating for approximately 3 years and this girl has always seemed to go out of her way to spite me. Perhaps I am just having difficulties overcoming my jealous (it has been an issue in the past), but she has blatantly told me that she does not like me. I'm nearing the end of my rope with this girl and I have been trying to be the "mature" one that takes the high road. I just really don't know how to bring this up with my boyfriend without him getting angry. Keep in mind that I am not trying to stop them from being friends. I'm just lost; I've tried to extend the olive branch so many times and she's just been nasty.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 3 years has a friend who is a total bitch and I don't even know what to do anymore. How do I talk to him about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] have trust issues and am paranoid about my one month relationship with my [18F] girlfriend
POST: My last relationship ended with my ex leaving me for a guy halfway across the world, so needless to say i'm a very paranoid/jealous person right now. Normally I would try my best to trust my girlfriend, but it's getting very hard to keep my emotions bottled up. My concerns are:
1. She was considering a Friends With Benefits situation with one of her good friends, of which whom I met. The dude seems to like her, A LOT. Granted while my girlfriend said she wouldn't date him, she also said she had a crush on him freshmen year. She did say that he doesn't treat girls right and that's why she won't date him. She also said that they never did anything because it was too awkward.
2. She said she's a virgin but doesn't have a hymen. She said she tore it during dance. I don't know but to me I just don't believe it. I know she's a VERY flirtatious person (she invited people over to her house and cuddled with a guy who was shirtless. This was before she met me, however, so I'm not inclined to judge). The main concern I have is that she had sex with the friends w/ benefits dude and just doesn't want to tell me. This doesn't make sense at all because: I will find out, I wouldn't be mad if she told me this when we first met, and if I figure out now it's a guaranteed break up.
I don't really have any justification for any of these paranoias; I just have them. I'm mainly here asking for people to beat some sense into me.
Note: I know this is a one month relationship, so I shouldn't be sweating this stuff. But since this a fairly new relationship, I also don't have that trust built up yet. Also, she's done nothing serious enough to lose my trust but I just have a really hard time trust anyone because of my past relationship. I know, it's stupid and illogical to place feelings of a past ex on her, but I'm trying my best to get over it.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has a friend who makes me jealous, she doesn't have a hymen but says she's a virgin. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Betrayed by my best friend of 10 years [22 M]and my girlfriend of 2 years [20F]
POST: What up Reddit,
I've just signed up to post this and I've already posted it on another sites forum but this one is more suited.
I've recently just found out that my best friend and girlfriend have been seeing each other behind my back. The whole thing started about a month ago whilst the three of us were travelling in Vietnam.
I'm just pretty fucked up about the whole thing I only found out last night and they are currently together and perusing a relationship I don't even know how to feel.
I guess it's the lack of remorse and how disposable I was to them both that hurts the most.
I feel like beating the shit out of my snake friend I would of never expected him to have done what he's done.
I guess I'm just venting and looking for advice or similar experiences
Where do I go from here guys? My stomach is in knots at the thought of them together and what they've done. I couldn't ever think of a more disrespectful way to end a relationship.
TL;DR: | Best friend and girlfriend have been cheating, dropped me like a hat and continue to see one another what would you do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Either my bf (28m) masturbated with a condom or he cheated on me (33f).
POST: A little background: We have been dating for over 2 years with the exception of a few months when we broke up last year. The breakup was caused by him having a drunk 22f in his office naked. He was adamant he didn't do anything, we continued our relationship until I found out he was speaking to her on the sly. We broke up for a few months, dated other people and ended up back together because we thought we could make it work.
Fast forward to this week. We had a fight on Monday because he was with 2 girls at a bar and he actively tried to hide his plans from me. Didn't talk for 3 days. He texts me on Thursday telling me he is having a party at his house Friday night if I want to come. I tell him I want to talk with him but not at a party. We agree to have dinner Saturday and talk.
Saturday morning - I send him a text asking if he still wants to talk, he responds "no thanks". After some back and forth, we meet and talk it out. Things are good.
Sunday morning - I am at his place. I see that he is missing a condom. (We don't use them and he has had the same pack of 6 since we started dating again. And yes, I count them.) I confront him about it and he initially tells me that he took one out and put it in his wallet because he was mad at me and had no intention of using it. I made him take it out of the wallet (which he did with shaky hands) and I pointed out that this is a different brand than the others. (He has had that particular condom in his wallet since before we started dating and I knew that.) He then tells me that he actually used it in the shower to masturbate. He claimed he lied at first because it was embarrassing.
So here is my question. How likely is it that his story is true? I believe in my heart he cheated. I think if he had some interest in masturbating with condoms, I would definitely know it. I would like some opinions.
TL;DR: | Bf and I have a fight and don't speak for 3 days. We make up and I find he is missing a condom. He says he used it to masturbate in the shower. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Any experience running with senior dogs?
POST: I have a female 8 years (to be 9 in February) old Leonberger that weighs about 110 pounds. She just stopped acting like an insane hyper puppy a little over a year ago.
Thing is, I'd love to bring her along on my runs, but I'm afraid to be too rough on her considering her age. I train triathlons and obstacle races. Last time I went running with her, we did around 3 kilometers on trails... and she spent her evening laying on the cold floor afterwards.
I know she loves it, but I don't want to harm her because I've been too hard on her. Do you guys have any guidelines on how I should run her at that age?
TL;DR: | I have a senior dog of a giant breed. I train like a maniac and basically don't know what's a reasonable run for a dog anymore. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did i do something wrong? M 16 and shes a F 16 (No durantion)
POST: So i met the girl next door who happens to be the same age as me after recently moving into our apartment. She came over to introduce herself and we had a nice conversation and i asked her questions about the new school id be attending and we laughed and i felt like hit it off. At the end of the night she gave me her number and i texted her off and on over the next day or so.
The first day of school came and unfortunately i wasn't able to start yet do to problems in the system, she did however and invited me to come to a little local shop to have lunch with her and her friends.(students can leave campus for lunch) I felt like i made a good impression to her friends and we had a good time in my eyes. The weekend rolled around and i texted her and asked her if she wanted to hang out and maybe come over and watch a movie or something of the sort.
She then started acting weird and saying how she was too tired from volleyball and stuff and told me not tonight sorry. That was fine for me so i just said goodnight and texted her again the next day by saying' "hey :)". Since then which has been about a day and half i havnt heard from her and she said last week she would invite me to lunch again today which she never did. My question is, did i do something to scare her off like asking her to hang too soon or what?
TL;DR: | Met this girl and hit it off asked her to hang and watch a movie that weekend, haven't heard from her since. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] just broke up with my boyfriend [19M] of one month because I thought he was cheating
POST: Normally, we would try to meet up once a week or talk on the phone two to three times a week, but during the last two weeks, my boyfriend and I couldn't do either of those due to busy schedules. Once I figured that he would be free again, we planned to meet up a couple times only for him to cancel it at the last minute every time. Then one day, I go on Snapchat and I see that on his Story is a picture of a girl and a beer with a caption along the lines of "beer and bae = perfection". I instantly jumped to conclusions broke up with him that night.
Now I'm kind of regretting my decision. The worst thing is that I didn't even want to confront him about the problem because I thought he was just gonna say a bunch of bullshit to cover his ass up. I thought I would be happy for finally breaking up with him (I've considered dropping him several times before), but now I just miss him and his intimacy.
I feel a bit pathetic that I'm making such a big deal over a relationship that only lasted for about a month. I just feel like I might've ruined something good.
TL;DR: | I automatically assumed that my boyfriend was cheating and dropped him. Now I miss and regret breaking up with him because I acted on my emotions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most randomly insulting thing that you've been called by someone you've never met.
POST: I've been looking for a job for the past couple months so that I can afford to move out of my parents house and pay for next years tuition. Until then I have no money so I get around by bike. Also, being a bit of a dork I carry around a plastic light saber, wear a this awesome hat that looks like something Joseph Stalin would wear, goggles, and frequently a My Little Pony T-shirt. I think it also helps to add that I live in Arizona and have blond shoulder length hair.
Anyways, My friend started dating this girl that I don't know, and she invited me to a party full of people I've never met. I'm mingling and avoiding the alcohol with a cup full of orange fanta. I seem to be doing pretty well; talking to this group of guys and generally being awesome when this girl walks up to me and says "You're that creepy faggot who rides who ride's around on a bike." Not mad at all; just making conversation. I said something to the effect of "yeah, that's me." and blew her off, but I was really offend and kinda hurt. anyway didn't ruin the night. It just kinda threw me off.
TL;DR: | I dress weird and ride a bike. A gilr called me "that creepy faggot who rides who ride's a bike." Feels bad man. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Relationship] I (24F) have been becoming increasingly annoyed with boyfriend (25M) of 3 years porn habits
POST: My boyfriend is loving in almost all aspects of our relationship save for a few hiccups on his side, most of our problems have come from me. Despite his loving nature I can't quite get over his porn habits. Sorry if this comes off as a rant or a ramble. I'm on my phone and formatting may be a bit off.
When we first started dating he had nudes of his ex deep in his phone that I never really cared about, I knew I had to clear out pictures from me and my ex, too, just hadn't gotten around to it (but I have deleted them since and he never saw them). About a year in he screen shot the nudes to move them into a newer folder which made me confront him to delete them and after a bit of hesitation he deleted them and I haven't seen them since. Awesome. The problem now is that since then he's accumulated hundreds of pictures of girls from gone wild, different blogs, AND nudes of girls we know and some of girls he has slept with from their personal social media. It's a big deal to me. Porn is okay, I enjoy porn, too, but 1, I make sure to cover my tracks since he's really sensitive about my interest in other men (I have a history of being a bad partner and have since done everything I can to be the best I can be) and 2, I don't fantasize about anyone else, ever. I don't know what to say anymore to make him realize it's disrespectful to me and really hurting my self esteem. Or am I just being over dramatic like he makes it seem? Sometimes I'll even wake up next to him looking at them and that just makes me irritable and self conscious until he comes onto me again. I don't want to be the crazy girl who controls what porn my boyfriend looks at, but I also REALLY don't feel okay with him masturbating to girls we know and he's slept with. He says he can't help it. So guys, please help me either rationalize my feelings or help me to figure out how to talk to him about it because it's killing my self esteem.
TL;DR: | boyfriend who's otherwise pretty nice likes to look at nudie pictures of girls he slept with and refuses to budge. I feel like shit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By TRYING to get a tattoo
POST: This actually happened a few months ago but that doesn't seem to really matter.
After getting robbed for the 5th time I decided it was time to move out of state and start fresh and wanted to commemorate the enjoyable times I had in my home state with a tattoo. I told the artist I wanted the state outline with roots coming out of the bottom on my calf and told her to elaborate if she wanted to do so. I put down my deposit and waited until my appointment.
This would be my first ink so I was pretty nervous about it. Fast forward to appointment day, I go in, on my birthday no less, and wait for the artist to finish up get current appt. While waiting I go ahead and pay for my ink. Also during this time I can't stop shaking and go out to smoke a cigarette. While smoking I find my bladder is about to explode and decide to pee into a bottle in my car. I ended up spraying everywhere and have to call the shop on my way home with some bull excuse. I get home, change pants, and go back to the parlor for my ink.
I finally get seated and she shows me the sketch. It's the state outline with a tree inside of it, not what I really wanted but it's still pretty rad. As she starts shaving the back of my leg she nicks me 5 times, I'm not so good around blood so I start shaking a bit. I keep my shit together and she puts on the stencil which looked pretty cool. I'm still pretty queasy and another artist notices and stops the job until I come out of my slump.
I thought I was good to go and said let's get started and as soon as the needle starts going, before contact, I pass out. Not cool, not cool at all. I end up getting a new appointment set a few days later and leave after an hour of being that guy that can't handle himself in a tattoo shop full of people. Great birthday happening right? Anyway, I didn't even go back to the shop for the follow up because of embarrassment and lost over $350 because I was an idiot and paid up front and became the shops pussy of the year.
TL;DR: | went for ink on bday, pissed on myself outside, went home changed, came back and passed out before needle contact. Fml |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my GF [30 F] of 6 months, need courage to speak my feelings tonight
POST: Hi everybody. Tonight I plan on having a talk with my SO about our long-term sustainability as a couple, particularly my worries about it. I want to express that I've felt undesired, due to a lack of affection and expression from her (she is very stoic), and that I worry about how different we are. I've never dated anybody so different from me, and it's turned out more difficult than I thought it would be (barely any shared interests, parallel senses of humor, different wavelengths about how we experience the world).
I just need courage right now. I'm very bad at being up front and tactful when expressing negative emotions. Withholding my feelings has historically gotten me into worse trouble in the past, and I feel like I need to say some things.
TL;DR: | I want to express some negative feelings about our relationship tonight, but I'm scared. I'm just looking for some courage, in whatever form you've got. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] male interested in remaining friends with my [25 F] ex's friends. Is this possible
POST: My girlfriend of 7 months recently broke up with me. Over the course of my relationship with her, I found myself bonding with her friends when we hung out as a group. It has proven to be an enormous positive influence on my life. I was hoping to continue being friends with them after the breakup.
Her friends have pointed out that they liked me the most out of all her recent boyfriends. I am unsure if it is possible for them to look past this. They have always made an effort to make me feel welcome but it is possible that they did this for her.
Looking at my relationship with my ex gf, I am sceptical that it will be easy to be friends with her in the next couple of months.
TL;DR: | Got dumped by my ex gf. Would like to maintain the friends i have earned through the relationship. Is this possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I have been in a very committed relationship for over a year but lately have been feeling trapped and don't know what to do.
POST: I am 19 years old and female, my boyfriend is 20 years old. We have been together a bit over a year, and are in a very stable, loving relationship, and are extremely compatible. We don't fight too often, never badly, and the only large problem that faces us is my severe depression and anxiety.
Lately I have been feeling like I'm trapped, even though I know I'm not. I keep looking for things in my relationship to dislike (things I have found are petty, eg. He doesn't say he loves me first, he won't initiate sex, he doesn't compliment me as much as he used to) and I know they're only small, but they bother me. Because of these things, I've been looking for attention in other places, smiling at strangers, trying to get them to notice me, look at me, just so I can feel something. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, ever, but I feel like even just doing those little things is betrayal enough, and that's making me hate myself even more.
Due to my depression, I have a history of thinking that my partners are too good for me and I don't deserve them, and this is the case with my SO. Every time I'm in a bad place, I try to push him away, and I think that the things I've been thinking about might be related to that.
Even though I would love advice, I know a lot of people would just tell me to talk to my SO when faced with this problem, but I don't feel comfortable with that right now. I really just want to know if anyone else has ever felt anything like this, and what they've done to help deal with it. Please, anyone. I just want to not feel so alone.
TL;DR: | I have depression and anxiety, am feeling trapped in a loving relationship which I don't feel I deserve, and have been looking to strangers to make myself feel anything (but not cheating). |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: I got my dog a laser pointer to play with. Holy shit what have I done! How can I fix this?
POST: We just adopted Jack [\[pictures\]] is a super energetic 1 year old Doberman Husky Mix. He's so energetic that I can hardly keep up with him [4-6 walks a day]. He showed interest in chasing the light from my flash light, so I got a laser pointer from the dollar store last night. He loved it. He chased after it in the backyard for what it seemed forever. He stopped listening or playing with his toys, he kept running back and forth waiting for it to appear. He didn't follow me inside and instead stayed in the cold doing nothing but walk around and look for the laser. I thought. He nagged [like a husky] after we let him in for longer than usual. I just thought "Oh great, he really likes it".
Tonight I played with it again, tried to tire him so he can calm down and sleep while we're out tonight. Oh no, he kept up. When I let him in he cried and nagged for a lot longer than usual [almost an hour] while breathing heavily and rapidly. He wouldn't let me do anything. I put him in his crate with his fav peanut butter stuffed town and turned off the light hoping he'd get distracted and calm down, but he's still making some low energy crying noise.
I got worried and did a bit of research and realized how bad this could be for some dogs. The long lasting obsessions it creates. Holy crap! What can I do to fix this?
I'm thinking I'll get him a clicker and start clicker training him like I've been wanting to, in hopes he'll forget about the laser. Any other suggestions?
TL;DR: | My dog is now overly obsessed with the laser pointer I just got. Is there anything specific I can do to help him get over it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: at work, need help w/ adult site?
POST: basically last night I posted some pictures / videos from "footsiebabes.com (a suscribe softcore-ish adult site) on my blog..
Apparently someone flagged it for being pornographic, and what i didn't know was to post porn on the site I have to provide a link to the 2257 (record keeping compliance statement, all models are of age etc) of the original site. He says if i don't comply and post the info of it (Custodian of records of footsiebabes.com) then my blog is getting deleted.. the problem is I'm at work all day today and obviously can't go on an adult site, albeit softcore.
TL;DR: | I need someone to go to the site (footsiebabes.com, find the 2257 compliance statement and give me the info / link so I can keep my blog up and running. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't feel like I'm as special to my girlfriend. [21M&19F]
POST: So I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 months now but the problem is I just don't feel like I mean as much to her as she does to me. At the beginning of our relationship I caught on that she was prude/had trouble being intimate and I expressed that I would wait until she was ready. Months later when things finally did start to get sexual I found out that she had waited longer to get physical with me than she did in the past two relationships. She is still a virgin, so I could still be special in that regard but idk. (Sorry if that makes me sound immature).
I was hurt when I first heard this because I did everything to make her feel comfortable. I told her I wouldn't let that upset me so I never brought it up again. But to be honest, it still bothers me. Now, also I am about to stay with her parents for the weekend. It made me feel special at first but now I also know that I wasn't the first one to do that, and it also took me longer.
I know that it is slightly ridiculous for me to get hung up on this stuff but my girlfriend isn't a very expressive person to begin with so I, being stupid, base her affection towards me off her actions. Unfortunately it's lead me to be a somewhat insecure and jealous boyfriend, even though I do my best to hide it.
Please help! I don't know how to get over this.
TL;DR: | Still not the *first* anything with my girlfriend. Its hard for me to feel special and has led me to overthink and be jealous. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I(22f) tell my boyfriend (22m) to back off a little?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. He's an incredible, smart, sexy and caring human being. He treats me incredibly well and makes me so happy.
We get along really well and love hanging out so we tend to see each other 4-5 days a week. I love having sex with him, and he's the only person who really has taken the time to find out what I like. It's always incredible. The problem is he constantly wants to have sex. I almost never initiate because he's constantly initiating. When we first see each other, the first thing he does is say something about what he's going to do to me later. It's getting tiring. I'm actually starting to get anxious because I feel like I'm constantly rejecting him.
We pretty much have sex once a day on the days we see each other but sometimes that's not enough for him. Sometimes I'm too tired and I'm dealing with crohns as well, so I'm plain not in the mood and I feel like I'm disappointing him.
To be fair, he never has outwardly pressured me but he'll do things like pull out his dick in front of me or try and grope me, even though I'm clearly not in the mood. He obviously has a higher sex drive than me, as most of my past boyfriends did, but I never felt bad about rejecting them or pressured. I really am starting to feel pressured to have sex more often and I just don't want to, even if it is nice everytime.
There have been instances where I've said no and he's started masturbating next to me even though I don't want to do any sexual activity.
I'm getting really anxious and it's tiring having to constantly reject him.
I want to make clear this isn't a deal breaker at all. This isn't the be all end all of our relationship. There's several amazing aspects. In the past, I've never communicated with past boyfriends so I have no idea how to do this. I really want to make this work and treat this guy better than past boyfriends.
How do I approach him about this?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is constantly trying to initiate sex and it's making me anxious. How do I talk to him about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am desperate for help PLEASE someone reach out. Is he manipulated me? I've never felt so angry...
POST: Manipulating << correction (I can't edit the typo in title).
I want to start with the title - it pertains to our entire relationship. We fight all the time but we have these talks about how much we want to try and we feel motivated to do good together then it always goes down the drain. It's beyond disappointing...
We fight a lot but have agreed to work on it. Here is an example of how one of many of the fights go:
Last weekend I expressed that I wish instead of spending an hour on his phone in the morning, that he would instead spend some of that time together. We have zero days off together so weekends are the only mornings we can potentially have together.
He finally budged and agreed to put the phone down next time. Today is the first Saturday since and I woke up to him glued to his phone again. I immediately withdrew and got in the shower. When I got out he was still glued. I went in the kitchen and still for another 30 minutes he didn't put his phone down. As I was saying bye he asked what was wrong and instead of him saying sorry or "oh wow I totally spaced!" He fought back saying "well you were in the shower" then "well you seemed pissy already so why would I want to hang out with you?"
It is SO beyond frustrating because I feel that the cycle starts with him being on the phone and he swears he's on the phone cause I'm "pissy". Is he manipulating me to get his way? Advice from this situation would be helpful because he literally does this with every situation. I feel like I'm going crazy, angry at work and I feel devastated that the person I want to spend my time with does this to me. I need help...am I wrong?
TL;DR: | I am in a relationship and we never stop fighting. I just need to know if he's manipulating me or if I am asking too much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 4 years, BORED can't seem to enjoy doing anything with my SO
POST: As stated me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years. She has been absolutely amazing, she seriously has made me a better person and I love for being able to do that. However, I have not been in love with her for quite some time. We each have little to no friends, and have relied on each others company for the past 3 years (reasons for this are mental illness on both our parts, and were both university students working full time). I have become incredibly bored with the relationship (I know typical LTR stuff), I enjoy doing very little to nothing with her. I of course have not told her this and don't know if I even should. I have felt this way with her many times in the past, the feelings seem to ebb and flow. However I have felt really increasingly bored and not into 'us' for the past 6-8 months (by far the longest time). I dread seeing her and its making it harder and harder for me to get through daily affairs. This sounds horrible and its probably because it is, I feel like a terrible person. I don't know what I'd do without her, since I really have no one else, nor do I really see myself connecting with many people, but I cant really stand being with her. Not sure if I should just wait it out or try new things, I would have a hard time doing either but I obviously need to do something.
TL;DR: | Very bored with GF eventhough shes amazing, some typical LTR stuff, need some advice since I have no friends to talk to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] am always jealous of my girlfriend's past and I think I want to be with a virgin - please help
POST: This will be the first time admitting this but after almost daily internal battles with myself I've realised that I can't stand the idea of whoever I'm with having been with someone else before me/ I'm single but when was recently in a 3-4 year relationship and hurts me almost every night I hung out with them (although it set in after the honeymoon period of the relationship)/ Its stopping me from enjoying relationships and and now I'm single I worry that I'll never grow out of this and there'll be a shadow hanging over all future relationships because its not really reasonable to expect to meet a virgin/ I fear I'll always be bummed out by the idea I didn't take my partner's virginity
I'm on the waiting list for NHS counselling but I wanted to open up about this here because frankly I'm sick of it all swirling around in my head/ Obviously I'm too ashamed to talk to any friends or family about this problem because I expect this desire to be with a virgin would be frowned upon to say the least
The counselling is for depression which I think is related to the current issue by way of the really shitty time I had with my first girlfriend took my virginity before I was ready (technically assault because I did want to have sex but I didn't consent to sex without a condom)/ I ended up with her for three years and I think she cheated on me/ there was a chlamydia scare and stuff/ she also used to self harm a lot and I witnessed some pretty bloody shit/ stuck with her and a few times during miserable arguments with her I remember her saying things like 'you should be with a virgin' and I never wanted to be - its just crept into me and now I cant shake it
Anyone got any words of advice? I want to get better cause I know its not a healthy way to be
Thanks x
TL;DR: | Obsession with girlfriend(s) past and wanting to be with a virgin is preventing me from enjoying relationships and occupies my entire mind when I'm single to the point I can't concentrate on work or be happy - please advise |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Oppositional thoughts
POST: These are thoughts which compete... They may be your own competing priorities, they may be memes competing for attention, they may be breakfast competing with the gym.
Eliminate them.
The quickest way to create oppositional thoughts is to check your email or todo list (or facebook/reddit if you're still there) when you first wake up. The clean state of a fresh mind is something to be valued. It will get cluttered through the day, you don't have to worry about manually filling it with conflicted thoughts and internal conflict. Put a reminder on your wall to go for that run... do that workout... Let this be your thought.
The quickest way to maintain competing thoughts is to check memes. Unfocused media like (most of) Reddit, the TV, facebook, the news etc are scattering and scrambling your thoughts.
This may be familiar to you:
You know what they call someone without oppositional thoughts? Focused.
And someone wrought by oppositional thoughts, internal conflict and indecision? Procrastinator.
TL;DR: | When it comes to your mind, you get out what you put in. Focused content yeilds focused action. Scattered, oppositional content yeilds scattered oppositional action. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: i live in a country other than my home, make a respectable salary doing a job i absolutely love, and have not a worry in the world until i describe my life to others from back home; i seem to the the only one that isnt concerned...
POST: heres the full story:
im 33 at the end of the month, have a kid on the way, and im a kindergarten teacher in japan. (for those who know the system, im not an english teacher, and im not a dispatch, im an actual teacher at an actual private japanese kindergarten).
anyway, i love the job and its smiles all day any day.
that being said, its essentially a dead end, as there will come a time when i can no longer do the job, and theres no retirement plan, etc, as they normally deal with short termers. this doesnt bother me.
my 50k a year that will probably never go up again also doesnt bother me.
what bothers me is that when i talk to the panicky types back home, i get all sorts of hypothetical situations that could RUIN MY LIFE, despite the fact that im doing great. the consensus seems to be that i should be doing MORE with my talents. honestly speaking though, would you rather be doing silly dances with 3 year olds playing sing-a-longs on piano and guitar, walking home full of smiles, and spending your free time on chess and open source, or creating graphs that somewhat fit together with whatever it is your boss is blurting at clients lately?
is anyone else "gainfully AND happily under-employed"?
TL;DR: | my family and friends on the other side of the world think i should be "successful"; to which i can only respond "i already am". |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Parking officials of reddit, how can I fight (and win) a parking ticket?
POST: On the street in LA where I live there are a few blocks of 4 hour parking from 8am to 6pm. This morning I got up and dropped someone off a couple blocks away at 11:30 in the morning. I then returned at parked around 5 minutes later on the same side of the street but a block up. I was issued a parking ticket at 1:52. Clearly not 4 hours after I parked there.
I don't think my tires were marked, or if they were I can't see it. So I'm not sure how they thought I was there over 4 hours...
Meanwhile my roommate forgot to move her car and didn't get a ticket on the same street.
How do I fight this?
TL;DR: | I got a parking ticket in LA for parking somewhere for over 4 hours though I had only been parked in the spot for 2.5 hours. How do I fight it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] feel like I'm a surrogate girlfriend to my friend [29M].
POST: I've known this guy for a few years and for the first couple we lived far away from each other so it was just texting and emailing with occasional visits. After one of these visits he said he had feelings for me and I said I didn't feel the same. Things were weird for about a week but then got back to normal. A few months later he moved to my city for work. He's my best friend so I was super excited, and visited him a lot. I liked being able to hang out with him so much but he does things that make me feel uncomfortable. For example, he touches me like you would a girlfriend. He's always stroking my leg or rubbing my back or whatever. I called him out on it and he got annoyed and said that's just how he is. I said ok, and just kept letting him do it. Which was a big mistake, but I have severe anxiety and didn't want to get into a fight because I didn't want to upset him because I've upset him like that before and felt so so awful... I thought just putting up with it would be easier and that he might stop. I also generally don't like human contact so thought that maybe it was my issue, not his, and that I'd get over it or that he'd stop. But 4 months later it hasn't stopped (surprise surprise... I was so stupid) and I'm starting to feel really anxious about the whole thing. I feel like it's my fault I wasn't forceful enough to make him stop ages ago. Should've nipped it in the bud. But it made me so anxious and I just couldn't deal with it. Dumb. So dumb. So now... I don't know what I want. I want him to get a girlfriend so he won't be so reliant on me. I want to be able to just casually tell him and for him to not get terribly offended and upset. I want to go back in time and just tell him outright. I want somebody to tell me that this is everyone's fault but mine. I'm nearly in tears just thinking about it. What should I do? How can I tell him?
TL;DR: | Friend treats me like a surrogate girlfriend and I wasn't to tell him to stop without offending him or giving myself an anxiety attack. I don't want to lose him but want this to stop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24f) am suddenly thinking alot about my old boyfriend (28m), why?
POST: Maybe you guys can help me figure this out. This guy and I broke up over 3 years ago. It was a very intense relationship that ended up being shitty, abusive and sad. I have a new boyfriend, approaching a year who is absolutely amazing and I love him dearly. The problem is that lately i can't stop thinking about my ex. I don't want to hook up with him or anything, I am just wondering where he is at and what he is doing. I think I am kind of anticipating when I will see him walking down the street, or something.
I am trying to make sense of why he is suddenly invading my thoughts again. There wasn't much closure and the relationship ended really badly. He got very violent and I had to abandon our apartment and stay with a friend, it was an emergency situation which was complete and utter shyte. All that aside, there was always something intensely good between us, but I think that was just his hold on me and not so much anything special or unique, I just don't know. There was a lot about this person that mirrored many aspects of a sociopath. He only ever apologized when the situation was threatening to his livelihood, he could never accept blame and was/is an avid drinker/drug user. He really had me wrapped around his finger. I wouldn't consider him very "successful" in a stereotypical way however he somehow acquires things and people just cough up their goodies to him all the time. He is also very foxy.
I'm really annoyed and guilty that he's back in my mind, I haven't really thought of him for a long time. What's going on here? How should I deal with this and get him out of my head again. Whenever I think about him it makes me anxious.
TL;DR: | I am suddenly thinking of my shitty ex, and I need help understanding why and how to make it stop. Thank you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Not sure what to do at this point,
POST: So last week I asked a girl from class to go to dinner with me. We got coffee together everyday that week after class and then on Saturday we went out to dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie. It was at this point that things got uncomfortable. I was trying to read her body language to determine what she did and didn't want to do and she wasn't giving me anything. She just sat there with her hands in her lap. We still talked throughout the movie and laughed and made jokes but I just kept waiting for her to give me the OK to take her hand or put my arm around her or something. After the movie it was pretty late so I took her home. She said she had a good time and wanted to plan out another date, but now when I'm around her I feel like there is a tenseness that wasn't there before our date on Saturday. Does anyone know what might be going on or what I could do to fix this? This is the first girl I've been interested in in some time and I don't want to mess it up but I feel like there might be some confusion as to what is happening between us. Should I just talk to her about it, or is it too early to have that conversation? Sorry if I rambled at all, I just don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Went to dinner and a movie, girl gave me no physical cues whatsoever but still seems to like being around me. Is it too early to talk about what our expectations are? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't feel as special to my girlfriend [21M&20F]
POST: So I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 months now but the problem is I just don't feel like I mean as much to her as she does to me. At the beginning of our relationship I caught on that she was prude/had trouble being intimate and I expressed that I would wait until she was ready. Months later when things finally did start to get sexual I found out that she had waited longer to get physical with me than she did in the past two relationships. She is still a virgin, so I could still be special in that regard but idk. (Sorry if that makes me sound immature).
I was hurt when I first heard this because I did everything to make her feel comfortable. I told her I wouldn't let that upset me so I never brought it up again. But to be honest, it still bothers me. Now, also I am about to stay with her parents for the weekend. It made me feel special at first but now I also know that I wasn't the first one to do that, and it also took me longer.
I know that it is slightly ridiculous for me to get hung up on this stuff but my girlfriend isn't a very expressive person to begin with so I, being stupid, base her affection towards me off her actions. Unfortunately it's lead me to be a somewhat insecure and jealous boyfriend, even though I do my best to hide it.
Please help! I don't know how to get over this.
TL;DR: | Still not the first anything with my girlfriend. Its hard for me to feel special and has led me to overthink and be jealous. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my touring musician BF [27 M], together 4 years, gets upset when I ask him for details on where he is sleeping on his touring nights
POST: He tours every few months, taking one long 5 week trip once a year and 4-5 day long ones every other month.
He is a one man band and tours alone, but has friends in the cities he visits.
Whenever I ask him for details about where he is staying, for example at a hotel or at some random person's place (like the promoter, who could be female or male, for example) he gets really annoyed. He hardly gives me details, and usually says he doesn't care and that the people putting on the show have it covered.
However, obviously I care. It matters to me if he stays with another woman for obvious reasons. There are groupies and also lots of drinking and maybe even drugs involved for all I know? If tables were turned he would definitely not be okay with me staying with a man as he is very over protective and jealous.
Whenever I ask him just for a simple answer where (hotel or John's couch is enough to make me happy) he literally tells me that he is sick of me not trusting him and to fuck off. Recently when I said it's important to me because I don't want you to board with a random woman, he said "why? Because I'd fuck her?" suggesting to me that he is already defending the possibility. (Would you be okay with your partner sleeping at the place of a random person of the opposite sex after a very late night of drinking?)
Am I overreacting? I trust him but I don't trust the situation, when groupies are involved and late nights of drinking and whatever else.
Someone help please.
TL;DR: | Me [27 F] with my touring musician BF [27 M], together 4 years, gets upset when I ask him for details on where he is sleeping on his touring nights |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I don't know what to do. My wife doesn't have medical insurance.
POST: About a month ago my wife found a lump in her breast. We immediately went to the doctor and she was then sent on to have a mammogram and ultrasound done. Fortunately the hospital provided charity assistance to help cover the cost of the two tests. However, since she's only 22 the mammogram and ultrasound did not find anything due to her breasts being too dense. The doctor then suggested she talk to a surgeon to perform a needle biopsy and perhaps remove the lump. This is where the problem begins. Without insurance we have no chance of affording the cost. I'm a full time student and she's working as a mental health worker with no benefits to pay our rent. She has a bachelors of nursing from Australia and has been working towards her licensing here in the United States for 6months now but it's going to be delayed even further due to CGFNS(people who equate foreign Nursings degrees) needing additional theory and clinical hours in maternal/child which isn't required to be an RN in Australia. So we're talking 4-5months already for her to finally get her license for her to be a full time RN thus health insured.
I really don't know what to do. If she has cancer putting this off could be a death sentence but we don't have the money, not even to return her to Australia in hopes of getting treatment there. I can't even sleep at night because I'm terrified of the thought of losing her. She is everything to me. If theres any advice reddit can give us it would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | My wife has a lump in her breast. Mammogram/ultrasound not effective. Don't have money or insurance for biopsy and won't for 4-5months. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I messed up. I'm not a violent person. I hope a lawyer reads this, I need advice...
POST: OK so here's the deal. I moved accross the country to make my family whole again (ie my sons father be with my son and I). I have a really hard past, like family situations extra. I got drunk with my fathers son / boyfriend, we got into an argument. I freaked out thinking things would be like old times and how I can't function alone again, worse I would be stuck in a new state with no friends whatsoever. I wanted to leave the house. Also I was black out drunk. I went on a kick about how they would better without me and wanted to kill myself. My boyfriend sat down on top of me started screaming at me to hurt him and not me. I scratched him up pretty bad. In the end he called the police "to scare me out of killing myself " itvwas even an accident when he called.
They came took pics of him and none of me. I have quite a few bruises too. They arrested me while he begged them not to. He bailed me out of jail. I have court (no matter what he does) this week. They won't tell me how to get a public defender, or even confirm that I get one.
I'm not a bad person. I have never even been in a fight. I dedicate myself to my son. I am so scared. I don't know what to do. Neither of us want what's going on. I know if they would send me to a therapist he would say I just had a bad night that was made worse by being restrained. I don't want to go to jail. All I wanted was to be a family for Christmas and I messed up. I need advice.
TL;DR: | I scratched up my boyfriend. I was arrested. He bailed me out. I have court and feel like I'm about to get jewed. How do I defend myself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [26 M] I might be in a toxic relationship with my best friend [28 M] [x-post from r/offmychest]
POST: i have a friend (with benefits?) and we're both intense people. it gets into our friendship and there will be periods of time where everything is "normal" before we start getting under each others skin. this usually ends up in some sort of nasty fight or us fucking, usually both. i think it's caused me to develop some sort of weird crush on him.
i told someone close to me recently about the situation and she says that she doesn't think it's very healthy. he's the only guy i've ever experimented with and i think we've grown too close too fast. we've seen each other at our worsts (example: i was recently diagnosed with major depression after having an impressive breakdown. he talked to me over the phone until i fell asleep on my couch). i can't go a day without talking to him or else i get depressed and anxious, but when i'm with him i'm in this weird (almost manic?) angry-happy state. is this chemistry or toxicity or something inbetween? if i have to leave, how do i do it without destroying myself?
sorry if this isn't clear enough.
TL;DR: | i might be in a toxic relationship with my best friend. someone told me to cut him off. i tried but i can't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] am not too sure on how to feel about my girlfriend [17F]
POST: Well this may seem like a bit of a rant, but I'll try to not make it such. I have been dating this girl for probably close to 18 months now. She broke up with me a while ago and we were apart for about 6 months but she then wanted to get back together. We've now been back together for 7 months.
I'm thinking that she is more of an introvert than an extrovert. At school, she will never really approach me; it'll be me approaching her. She never seems to keep the conversation flowing either, it's usually me doing most of the talking. Even when she's at my house she might not converse or just show any signs of interest. Sometimes she may be as chirpy as a bird, but more often than not. Also most of the text messages she send me seem blunt, but again, not always.
Another thing is that we both have this mutual friend, but I am somewhat annoyed at him at the moment. When I told her she seems to take a large interest on that topic, and keep asking questions like why and stuff like that. She also seems to be able to speak to him more freely then me. I'm just not quite sure how to interpret all of it.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend seems to not be interested at times and seems to be able to communicate with other people better. Not sure on what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend has serious EX-GF Emotional baggage, advice on how to deal with this?
POST: 21f/23m Met online, hit it off really well (much better than I ever expected) He said he was looking for a relationship, recently admitted that he was only looking for sex at first but then he cares about me now, and we've been together for four months.
As time as gone on I've realised how badly he was hurt by his Ex (they had 2 year seriously deep relationship) She broke it off with him, but they still chit chat, and occasionally see each other, it's a bit too much for my liking, but I'll put up with it because I trust him.
This guy is amazing. The only thing reason I think I would ever break up with him would be over his inability to move on completely from his ex (if it ends up that he isn't capable of it)
* I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to as far as cutting contact with her - that's not fair because he needs to work through it and there's not reason they couldn't be friends.
* He recently told her he was seeing someone, and now I'm worried she going to turn on the heat because it's one of those, now that she can't have him, she wants him, sort of situations?
* How do I deal with this as "the new girl" in his life? I'm sometimes on the receiving end of some emotional stuff that ended up really hurting me, and I don't think he realises it, but I'm willing to give this a fighting chance - He's that quality of a guy. ( Some stuff I don't like - A Bday card she sent him on the mantle, a book she gave him on the end piece, her picture under his old uni work at his desk)
We've agreed to take our relationship slow, and I honestly believe in his honesty but it just scares me. I need some mature wisdom on how to deal with this?
TL;DR: | BF has a lingering EX in the picture, I didn't know about at first, hurting me a bit, buy BF is worth fighting for, how do I deal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex-fiance [m/42] wants to break up with me [f/30], but the only thing he is really upset about is that I won't let him keep MY cat.
POST: He called me a heartless cruel cunt because I won't let him keep MY cat, who's been living with us for a year now, and because of his wild mood swings I am trying to find another home for my cat because it won't be able to move with me when I go live in the one bedroom shared house I found. He has been really abusive to me, but absolutely loves my cat, but I was hoping to find it a home where if I can get stable enough to have a cat again I would be able to negotiate with the new owner and pick up my cat in a year's time or whatever. I don't trust him enough to leave it with him: not because of how he treats it but because of how he treats me.
He says I'm being spiteful, but I think if he acted with any little bit of respect towards me I would have been fine leaving it with him. But I really REALLY don't want to deal with him later on in life.
I'm also kind of depressed that he hasn't shown any emotion in regards to the breakup, but now all of a sudden he's so upset that about my cat leaving instead. WTF?! Shilo is an awesome cat, but you'd think he'd show SOME kind of feeling about OUR relationship ending.
TL;DR: | Am I being a horrible, classless cruel cunt like he says just because I won't let him keep my cat? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/F] with my ex [19 M] recently broke up (3 years). Don't know what to do.
POST: I met my boyfriend in High school. I was in 12th grade and he was in 11th. We got together around october of that year (2011) and things were great.
We had been together for 3 years but he broke it off a few days ago. I'm still kind of shocked. I dont know how to react all i've been doing is crying. He left for many reasons and it all just sounds like a lie. He would say "i can't be with you because you're too much" or "i'm tired of this" and even "This are not the same". What I do not understand is why he would say I still feel for me but that we could not be together because of how I am.
See i Suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and like it or not it would affect me and my relationship and thats why he left. I feel guilty, responsible, sad, angry and so much more. I hate this.
I feel like an idiot when i cry. How can i still love him.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 3 years left me because I am too much. Feel responsible. What should i do to get over this break up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30F] with my sibling [28M], obvious disparity between abilities causing friction between otherwise happily-married parents
POST: My brother is a great guy, but he's always struggled intellectually, athletically and professionally. For a long time, I think our parents or, at least, our mother, attributed this to having been born with complications but his issues have yet to resolve as an adult.
In contrast, I am a quick learner who finished college quickly and am successful in my career and athletic pursuits. I don't say this to gloat, but to make a point.
The disparity between my brother and me is glaringly obvious. Everyone jokes that I take after my father who is incredibly successful is *his* career and athletic endeavors as well. My father's family members are all in this same vein - smart, successful, indomitable.
My mother's gene pool is not quite so hearty as she comes from a long line of "simple" people who are just like my brother: kind-hearted, well-liked but otherwise not so bright. As such, she blames herself for my brother's lack of ability.
This causes friction between my parents which I only just learned about, though I'd suspected it for a while. Mom blames herself which Dad doesn't want, because - really - it's neither of their faults (even if my mother has coddled my brother as a means of protecting him from the world for which he is so ill-equipped to navigate on his own).
Mom gets upset when Dad gets frustrated with my brother. Brother and I aren't close because we don't share common interests (and possibly because I've always been something a reminder of what he's not). None of us asked for any of this and I don't know if there's anything I can do to remedy the situation.
I'm sure we can't be the only family like this. I feel like you see it regularly in movies/tv: "accomplished daughter, slacker son, frustrated parents". DAE have any ideas as to what I could do to diffuse this? Or do you think it's just going to simmer along until we accept our family fate?
TL;DR: | Me - successful, female, 30 - with slow-to-mature, possibly undiagnosed learning disabled brother (age 28). Parents frustrated with son. Mother blames self. Is there anything I can do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a joke about my boss's dead father without thinking
POST: I work at a local, family-owned Italian restaurant. A small place where I work with the owner (I'll call the owner) and his wife (who I'll call the boss). Around 2 weeks ago, the boss's father passed away and they have had issues with the estate ever since. They left again today for the father's house to try to sort things out(it is about a 3-4 hour drive depending on who's driving), and the owner managed to forget his phone at the restaurant.
His phone is the number they gave to the estate attorney when they need to be contacted, as well as the one they use for things like catering, reservations, and private business. Being the most trusted employee, I was placed in charge of watching the phone and updating them on any messages.
A few hours ago, the owner's phone received a call. I forgot to turn the phone volume up as I'm used to androids which don't have a specific button to set it to silent, so it didn't ring and I missed the call. The name on the call was "Father", so I thought it would be someone the owner would want to call back; I pulled out my phone and dialed the boss' s number.
The boss picks up, and I say "hey boss, I just missed a call from the owner's phone, it was labeled "Father" so I assumed it was the owner's dad and he would want to call him back."
She says thanks, asks if everything was going ok with the restaurant, and just as she hangs up I realize what I just said: I joked that she will never get a call from her father again.
TL;DR: | accidentally told my boss she wasn't going to get any calls from her Father ever again, just a couple weeks after her Father's death and in the middle of dealing with his estate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [20/m] and my girlfriend [20/f] broke up with me over text. Advice?
POST: So about 3 weeks ago my girlfriend of over 1 year broke up with me through text. It was very sudden since 1 day prior everything was going well (at least the way it seemed to me). I have plans of entering a future career in the military and her main reason for ending the relationship was that she couldn't handle being alone for x amount of time while deployed, stress, anxiety, etc. My gf was always of the anxious type and I was able to see pass that and always try to work with her on certain life issues. We talked about the future before and she only said that me being away would suck but it never seemed like it would be the end of our relationship. In addition, she said I was too sexual around her which I agree with and I have tried to change my ways. The last few weeks were not our strongest: she forgot to get me a birthday gift, she barely acknowledged our 1 year anniversary, and never really cared about what I had to say and always talked about her problems. I don't think I did anything of that nature besides what was mentioned previously. We haven't spoken since she ended it (pretty much out of no where) and I am wondering where to go from here. My heart is bleeding to get back together with her or to at least contact her, but my brain is telling me no due to the above reasons as well as her not even having the decency to end the relationship in person. Any advice? I'm torn about whether I should contact her or continue to wait.
TL;DR: | My gf broke up with me via text due to my future job. My heart says yes but my brain says no since she hasn't been treating me the best and couldn't even end it in person. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [30 F] 1 year, I snooped and there was some sketchy stuff, but now she knows!
POST: A while ago she was acting a bit distant and it triggered some mistrust on my part. (I was cheated on in the past, had a bad gut feeling but chalked it up to being oversensitive - not that this abdicates me from snooping, but just to give some background)
I got access to her whatsapp logs and did some snooping. There were some lies about guys who she used to hang out with who are actively pursuing her and they were denigrading me, but she's not done anything wrong besides hiding the fact and just stating these are her friends and that these friends have no romantic intentions There were also some strange messages between her and her boss, but no conclusive proof of anything.
The way she is, even if there was anything sneaky, I doubt she would write it out in a message. (she never says anything explicitly sexual in messages to me - and stops me if I say anything like that)
Anyway I was talking to one of her old friends who is also a friend of mine about how I feel insecure and she told me some things about her past that are irrelevant to trusting her today, but how she used to say friends are friends but she saw them kissing etc.
This was some time back but recently I let some thing slip in a comment, revealing that I knew something I wasnt supposed to. She confronted said friend and now the friend told her everything about me reading her logs etc.
TL;DR: | I snooped through her phone and let some information slip, now she knows what I did. She wants to meet me tonight to talk about things. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] have been crazy about a girl [17F] for 3 years now, is it ok to tell her how I feel?
POST: So I went to school with her for 5 years (we just graduated), and got really close for a while about 3 years ago. Without wanting to go into unnecessary detail, we never ended up dating despite an obvious mutual attraction, and the problem is I've never really gotten over her.
I know in my head that a relationship would never work (totally different interests and personalities, she's very religious I'm not at all, etc) but I cannot for the life of me get her out of my head. We're still just casual friends, but I would do nearly anything for her, despite us not even talking too often. Not sure if its relevant, but she was pretty much the sole focus of my world for a while. (Probably another discussion entirely, but I don't if I love her or not. Hell, I'm 18, how am I meant to know?)
We never really openly talked about our feelings for each other, and she obviously moved on ages ago, but I'm struggling to do the same and I think it'd help me to just tell her how I've felt for the last few years so I can try and get some closure, but I'm not sure if it's fair on her for me to kind of dump it out.
Also, she recently started dating another guy who seems really great, and I don't want to screw that over. I really do want the best for her, but I need to be able to move on, especially now we're not going to school together any more.
TL;DR: | I have an insane longstanding crush on a girl and I'm not sure if its fair to tell her how I feel in order to try and achieve closure for myself |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: A good swift kick in the nuts would help.
POST: For about four years after my amicable divorce I casually dated and maintained a few FWB. As I didn't feel I was ready, I wouldn't let anything get serious, and was up front about this with everyone who might need to know.
Recently I have come to terms with my life and have decided to open up, let my defenses down and allow something to happen if it does. Shortly after coming to this realization I begin a FWB relationship with a fairly long term friend. Though I had long since known the option was there I hadn't started this sooner as she wasn't my preferred 'look'.
Things got hot and heavy quick. We clicked hard. My impression of her was that of a great person with a great personality. I felt lucky to have her to myself. Feeling were developed, I became attached. I would go as far as saying I felt love (it's been a while). I was lead to believe the same was reciprocated.
About two month ago things came to a screeching halt. She lead me to believe that she needed a breather. I was fine with this, I have patience, and she has personal issues that need to be tended to.
Turns out I was being strung along. While leading me to believe that we still had something, she managed to find someone else.
I realize I made stupid moves, and should have ended it a long time ago, but 'love' blinds. I'll be returning to logic, it doesn't hurt so bad.
I deleted Facebook (deleted her phone number as well), will continue to hit the gym, and had no shared assets or liabilities so do not see the need for legal counsel.
One positive (I think) thing is that I realized that I am in fact, still capable of love.
TL;DR: | Got kicked in the nuts, then stomped in the face. Would like to get kicked in the nuts again so that I might ignore the pain in my head. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: California Security Deposit
POST: Hello,
I have recently moved out of my apartment in San Diego, and the landlord is wanting to charge me for a carpet replacement due to a dog urine stain. The carpet was supposedly new from my move-in.
They performed an initial inspection but did not notify me about any of the findings from it (in written or verbal form), which I've come to learn is not proper protocol. Regardless of this, I question the finding of the dog urine stain, as my dog has never urinated in the apartment (600 sq feet, trained very well and no accident when he even had Giardia), and he has never been left alone at home (goes to daycare or a friends place). I do understand however, that my senses and personal judgment can be fallible.
What I want to know is: Do I have recourse to bring in an independent assessor to verify the damages, and estimate possible remedies? The only evidence they've shown is moisture underneath the carpet, which I've suggested may be due to my carpet shampoo wash the night before the inspection. This ties back to lack of follow-up from the initial inspection, as I never got the chance to verify the original damages, and make appropriate repairs.
It isn't cheap to fix, and I don't necessarily think they are being malicious, but I just have a hard time believing it and would like to verify the damage independently. The one procedural aspect that I am going to push back hard on, is their lack of itemization from the initial inspection.
TL;DR: | Landlord charging for carpet replacement, I want independent verification of damages. Also, didn't provide itemized list of repairs from initial inspection. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M23] have recently been dumped by girlfriend of 2 years [F23] we have a child together, how do I get over her?
POST: I'll try keep this short, I went out with friends last week for the first time since my baby boy was born last year and got got carried away with my one night of freedom, this led to my situation now.
The main reason for us being in a rocky position is that during my girlfriends pregnancy she was totally turned off by sex, she caught me watching porn and saw that as the ultimate betrayal. When we did eventually have sex again I recorded it without her knowledge (weird and tbh disgusting I know) the way I saw it was I could use that to relieve myself in the future without the betrayal. Well fast forward a couple months and I forget about the video and of course she finds it and this leads to ww3 and 8 months of pain, eventually she softens towards me and I fuck up again at this party.
I've given up all hope of rekindling, she says she just can't get the video out her head. How do I get over her, I feel like the only light in my life has been extinguished, I'm miserable and although I'd love to go no contact I'll always be there for my son. Any advice would be ever so helpful.
TL;DR: | how do you get over the girl you would have given your life for? Time to turn off the Michael Bolton and grow a pair of balls but I need some direction, my brain is wired to think about her dawn till dusk. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20m] don't know how to help my friend [27m] who's parents disowned him
POST: Hi Reddit,
Throwaway for anonymity.
My friend hasn't spoken to me for a few days, while we used to talk every single day. He's been disowned by his parents, for reasons I won't state here, and the way he handles trauma is very much "I'm on my own" and he tends to pull back from those who care about him.
He is susceptible to being cared for, but one has to be extremely confident and sure about what they're doing, or it'll be worse and he'll get more upset, more hurt. We've been through more situations where he was hurt and I've heard him tell stories about him doing the same with other friends. It's the way he is.
Thing is, I'm not a confident person. I have some issues with my mental health. I'm in the process of being diagnosed right now, and there are indicators of Asperger's, some other minor issues, and/or a possible identity/personality disorder. I'm not good at being there for other people and I'm typical with having to be told exactly what to do when doing things, if I'm not certain I sort of shut down.
I want to be there for him, but I don't know how to. It doesn't help that the relationship I have with this guy is very complicated. We've known each other for about a year now, and our relationship has gone from great and partly romantic, to less so, to bad, to horrific, to being salvaged. Currently we're still on the latter. It's mostly gotten so bad because of my issues with being there for others.
Now since we've already been through so much he has told me to just lay off - I'm prone to seeking attention, this post being another example - but I don't want to just leave a friend standing out in the cold. He has others who are presumably standing by him but I don't know that for sure.
Should I just lay off and wait for him to be ready for me again? Or should I figure out how to help him, and how do I go about doing that?
TL;DR: | I have difficulties caring for my friend because of unknown mental health issues. He's being disowned by his parents, I want to help, but how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [15M] of 8 months is meeting a girl who he says is just a 'friend' while Im [15F] on holiday !
POST: My boyfriend doesn't let me meet boys or contact them. He just told me that he is meeting a girl who is apparently just his friend. They have decided to meet while I am away on holiday. When I asked if he could meet her when I get back so I don't feel so helples he declined and said it had to be while I am away. Should I be worried or am I over reacting? They said they are going shopping, I got so annoyed at this because whenever I asked to go shopping he said he wouldn't yet he will with her. He knows how upset I am about this yet won't chance the date and said he will meet her. Should I be so worried ?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is meeting with a girl while I am away on holiday and can't will not re arrange it for when I am back. Comment would be much appreciated and what should I be worried about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27/M] Brother in Law [35/M] who abused my wife [27/F] is coming to Christmas
POST: Looking for help on a family issue. New here and in a frantic hurry for advice so I apologize for rushed grammar and spelling.
Before we got married, my wife used to live with her brother in a house her parents owned while she was pursuing an education. Her Brother lived there also because he was out of work and unwilling to settle for any job.
One night a few years back they got into several arguments over the course of a few days. My wife was feeling pretty stressed about the situation so I suggested that she move in with me once the summer came around. When she told her brother about this he got pissed at the fact she wouldn't be around to look after his dog while he looked for work and storms out
After he blows up she calls me. While I am trying to calm her down via the phone the Brother returns and I hear yelling and banging then the phone goes dead. At this point i drove over their as fast as possible. I get their and she is hiding in the bushes with bruises on her arm. There is marks on the wall where he threw her.
Upset, we cram my car full of her stuff and get her the heck out of there. while pulling out the brother comes running out trying to be my friend saying he wants to be my friend still but doesn't think we'll see a lot of each other cause my wife is a bitch. I didn't say a word and peeled out of the parking lot asap.
Now we are heading over to the in laws for family Christmas this afternoon with two other brother in laws who are nothing but great to us only to learn the shitty one will be there for the first time in years.
I don't know how to deal with this guy who acts like nothing happened. I am anxious thinking about how uncomfortable this will be. I will take any advice on how to get through this peacefully.
TL;DR: | Brother in law [35/M] hurt my [27/M] wife 27/F], won't accept responsibility or apologize and now I have to be civilized for the sake of the family. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19/m) travel 500 miles to spend time with my gf (18/f) of 5 months just for her to unknowingly leave me halfway through the trip.
POST: I know I can get over her. It just gets to me because she had me come 500 miles just for her to end up leaving me. I was nearly going to be homeless for 4 days because I was originally supposed to leave on Monday and I knew absolutely no one.. gladly, I got a ticket today and I'll be home in 12 hours. I respect her choice, but it was one fucked up way to have it happen. I still kind of hope she gets a taste of her own medicine someday. I need some internet hugs reddit. 😔 Also, any advice on a good home workout would be fucking terrific. I need to get my mind off of her ASAP.
TL;DR: | Traveled a long ways not knowing it was for a break up, I need internet hugs and some good home workout techniques. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my boyfriend [27 M] of 6 months, we keep breaking up
POST: I'll try to keep this brief, I'm just looking for some advice/input. I've been with my boyfriend (let's call him Patrick) for 6 months. Recently, we've been having more and more arguments and I just don't know what to do to stop them.
The arguments are nothing significant, mostly misunderstandings because we're both pretty hard-heading and communication isn't either one of our strong suits. However, a few days ago he broke up with me (again), which led to us having a deep and illuminating discussion. He said he was ready to walk away because he, and I quote,"Thinks I am in this relationship as a waiting point until someone better comes along. He sees me as untouchable. That I am so independent and so far from needing anyone, that he thinks I will regret wasting even more time in the relationship than I already have. That I can build an empire from the ground up on my own."
I didn't know how to respond. I told him his view of me was very skewed, that I didn't mean to seem so impervious, but that I'm not waiting for someone better. I think he's an amazing guy, and he's very genuine, but his go-to emotion (so to speak) is anger. He doesn't get sad or upset, he gets mad. And he's not emotionally/physically abusive by any means, he just...detaches himself emotionally. He can go for days without speaking to me, every time we fight, it's me reaching out to him. It's hard to deal with sometimes.
Now, after our long discussion, we came to an agreement to start over. I will approach him more directly with things that he does that bother me, and he will try to be more emotionally adept to my feelings.
I guess what I'm asking, is how do I show him that I'm not untouchable? Is there a way that those of you in relationships communicate that would be helpful?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I fight all the time recently, I need help finding ways to communicate with him. I don't want him to see me as "untouchable" anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what do you do when your passion doesn't match your talent?
POST: My number ONE favorite thing to do is sing. When I am alone listening to music, I'm singing along to the songs. When I'm in the shower I'm belting out whatever pops in my head. When I'm in public, I have to force myself to stop humming whatever tune comes to mind, etc. I'd make a career out of it if I could. The problem is, I don't have the talent for it. I cannot hold a tune very well, and sound nasally. I can tell a lot of the time when I am off key, and try to correct myself, but can't seem to make myself hit the notes. I want to take voice lessons when I have the money, but I'm 99% sure you have to be born with talent to get anywhere at all in the music industry, and even then it would be extremely hard. I have an interest in computers, and helping hurting children; But nothing else inspires me quite like music and singing does. My ultimate dream would be to sing and make music for people and evoke emotion and help bring healing like music has done for me.
TL;DR: | I want to be a singer but don't have the talent for it. What have you guys done when faced with a situation like this? How have you dealt with it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How can I be firmer with my housemates?
POST: I live with my boyfriend and another couple and the two of them are driving me insane. Let's say one of them is called Bob and the other is called Sarah, Bob is the laziest, rudest and the stupidest person I have ever met, he doesn't show any common courtesy to my partner and I, he sleeps and lazes on MY COUCH all day, complains at me because I own too many things, but still happily uses all my stuff. Now Sarah, Sarah isn't as bad as Bob, but Sarah doesn't hoover, Sarah complains about things not being up to her standard of cleanliness, even though she doesn't clean.. She also thinks it's acceptable for us to buy all the amenities for the home, and complain about it when we say it's her turn. They both have no respect for any of my stuff, nor do they respect that when we have family over, we'd like to have the living room for ourselves, Bob will just sit in MY chair as well as on my couch and just play video games whilst my parents are there. I recently had my partners family over for his birthday and we had to retreat to our bedroom because they don't have the capacity to understand common courtesy. I want to be firmer and able to tell them to grow up, but I don't know how!
TL;DR: | I want my housemates to show some respect but don't know how to tell them without coming off as a jerk. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My pseudo-GF [23F] is using me [25M] to replace her ex
POST: About a month ago, I met someone through an online dating site. After the third date, she told me she had recently broken up with her long-term ex and wasn't ready for another relationship yet. I told her that I'm fine taking things slow, and things progress from there. Currently we're in a slightly nebulous fwb relationship. She gets extremely upset by any hint that we are seeing each other or dating, but I'm comfortable keeping things casual.
The problem is that while she wants to avoid calling it a relationship, she keeps trying to make it one. At first we would simply grab dinner once a week, watch tv, have sex and go our separate ways. Now she's wanting to get together almost every night. She's texting me constantly. At least five times during the day, to the point where my boss has noticed and commented on it. Long conversations every night. After she had been to my place a few times, she asked to spend the night. Last night at 9 pm, she said she was having a bad day and asked if she could sleep at my place. All these are steps that I don't take until I'm in a serious relationship.
I know that she recently decided to break up with her long-term SO, and is having a hard time getting over it, although I don't know any details. I want to help and be supportive, but I worry that I'm making things worse. Any time she hears from her ex or is feeling depressed, she clings to me to fill an emotional void, and I'm worried that this will keep her from moving on. I like her a lot, and want to help her through this, but I cannot imagine this is healty. I'm not sure of the best way to proceed without hurting her further.
TL;DR: | Girl has a rough break-up with her long term SO, and is using me as a proxy relationship to fill the void. Am I making things worse? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26] husband [27] has issues that he refuses to get help for, and it's completely draining me.
POST: I met my husband in high school, back then he had depression and anxiety stemming from a very strict and religious upbringing. He moved out as soon as he turned 18 and distanced himself from his parents, and things got a lot better.
Shortly after we started dating and eventually got married. Things were great for the first year or so, then his depression and anxiety came back, but this time along with some pretty bad anger issues. Three years ago we had a child, and all the issues got worse.
He gets upset easily and over the tiniest things (he's gone off on me before for coughing while he was watching tv), which sometimes turns into him breaking and throwing stuff. He's said some pretty unforgivable things to our child and I, but I always forgive him because I know he has a lot going on mentally (or maybe I'm just stupid, who knows).
I'm just so fucking exhausted from constantly walking on eggshells and dealing with so much anger and tension. He knows his behavior is wrong, he's admitted that, but he said he'll never get help from a psychologist or therapist for it and if it's such a big issue, I can leave. I feel like it would be wrong to leave him because of mental illness though, and I really do love him.
So, I have no clue what to do. I don't want to give him an ultimatum. His behavior is so unpredictable that I wouldn't feel safe saying that I plan on leaving until I've actually moved out. I'm also completely scared shitless to be on my own, and I'm convinced that I'll totally fail at life without him. I've been a stay at home mom since our child was born and highly doubt I can find a job seeing as I haven't worked in so long.
TL;DR: | My husband's issues are sucking the life out of me. He refuses to get help and I don't know what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [PSA] Learn from my mistakes and know that when you start a relationship with someone, you should only take it day by day.
POST: I've had my fair share of experiences and heart-to-heart conversations with friends enough to realize a unifying issue with most relationships. Just reading many of the posts in /r/relationships has made me certain that this a prevalent problem.
So what I mean by taking it day by day is that when you are in the early-middle stages of a relationship, you **should not** make huge promises for the future. E.g. "we're going to married", "what about kids", "we will live together soon". This applies *regardless of age.*
Enjoy every **present moment** with your partner. As long as you are happy with your partner that day, then you keep going. You won't feel pressured by any huge promises that may hang over your head. You and your partner can begin to enjoy each other's company.
It's not healthy to begin a relationship with a long-term view, however much you two might be in love. Take it easy, and there will be less pressure on both of you.
I wish you all the best.
TL;DR: | For those that are starting to date, don't even look past that afternoon or night. Take it day by day and maybe it'll lead to something one day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting too into a FB article
POST: So this happened a few weeks ago but let me go on:
I had finished a long day at work and I didn't get out until 1.30am (busy city restaurant) so I walk to the train station as usual for the last train of the night that comes at 2am, so while I'm waiting I pop in my earphones and scroll through Facebook and get really into this article on Jezabel. About 20 minutes later I look up and notice the sign says the train leaves in 1 minute, so I look around but I cant see it. I think to myself "that's a little odd" because usually the train stays for 5 minutes before leaving, so I walk up the platform only to see the my train, doors closing and about to take off. I run up the platform frantically waving my arms around, hoping the train driver will see me, but nope, the bugger just cruises off with my hope of getting some rest and the next ep of AHS. Turns out the train was 2 carriages shorter than usual so it pulled up further down from where I was.
I then waited until 5am for the next one because it was too far to walk and I couldn't afford a cab to my car which was 45 minutes away.
TL;DR: | I missed the last train of the night after work, while I was already at the train station, and had to wait another 3 hours for the next one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (19M) don't think I'm sexually attracted to my gf (19) anymore. Please help!! 2 year relationship
POST: For starters, I am absolutely in love with this girl. I don't think I can love anybody as much as I love her. She's still very pretty to look at, she's absolutely stunning and my friends think so too. It's just I don't really feel like having sex sometimes or doing anything with her. I just like lying down are relaxing with her. We've been dating for almost 2 years. I see other hot girls and fantasize about them but for some reason I just can't seem to get that arroused by my gf anymore. She's a great person too. I need help because I want to fix this, I don't want to leave her but I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | I(19M) don't think I'm sexually attracted to my gf(19) of 2 years anymore but I want to change it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [18 F] is in a abusive relationship with her Boyfriend [18 M] for three months, need advice
POST: So I have this friend that I have known about 5 years now, who used to be very bright and cheery, but recently she has been dating this guy who seemed nice at first, but became very abusive Mentally. I thought it was strange that she has been a little distant and not really interacting with anyone.
It was last week where she started talking to me again, and I was delighted as we are very close friends and I was a bit focused with work in the past month. But it was until yesterday that she spilled what was going on, which appalled me and to be honest made me pretty angry.
Turns out after the first month he would yell at her for talking to guys, or his friends will hit on her in front of him, she will get yelled at for "flirting". They argue every night as to why she hasn't replied to him in under 10 minutes, or if she didn't like one of his post on social media to the point she cries herself to sleep, which she has shown me text of her telling him that something made her cry and he replies "shut up."
He has also threatened to hit her and has tried to manipulate her into sexual acts, with the classic "If you loved me you would do it." or he makes himself out to be the victim. Also he tries to keep her from her friends and only I and another friend knows about this. She says she is afraid to break up with him as she doesn't know what he will do or that he will hurt her.
The most frustrating part is I live 12 hours away so there is not much I can do due to distance and I want to help her get out of there as soon as possible and have been thinking all day at work of ways I could help, but what do you guys think she or I should go about this?
Btw I'm M 22
TL;DR: | My friend is in a mentally abusive relationship and is afraid to leave him, and I'm 12 hours away so I don't have many options. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the thing you have been most loyal to throughout your life?
POST: I'm only 23 but let me start.
I went to a scout camp as a kid in the Adirondacks in New York and fell in love with the place. It is a "High Adventure" camp and involves week long canoeing or backpacking adventures for the scouts that attend.
I have been working at this camp each summer now since 2005. I started as a lowly counselor in training, worked my way to being one of the guides that takes the troops out on their treks and now to being the trek/program director of the camp.
I do a lot of off-season promotion for the camp to local scout troops on my own time and am continuously looking for ways to improve the experience for the kids. The job does not pay much but I have a lot of pride in the program we operate and keep every summer I work my ass off to make it an unforgettable experience for the people that attend.
TL;DR: | Went to a camp as kid, worked there for 7 years now and essentially run the show. Put in a lot of time and take pride in the program even though I could be making more money elsewhere. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (28F) found my (50M) biological father, and now I don't want a relationship
POST: *
TL;DR: | Found my bio dad and he's a druggie felon. Now that I've made contact, do I owe him a chance at a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my (poly) partner [23M] - girl he's seeing has disturbing ex. Urgent!
POST: Hello dear all. Posting for my partner since he is not on Reddit, he needs your help asap. So, my partner (M, 23) of one year is currently involved with another girl (we're poly) while I'm living abroad. She has a psychologically abusive ex (M). He manipulated her to stay in a relationship with him while she wanted to end things and is now stalking and harrassing her. He knows that my partner is seeing her, and has stated to her that he wants to hit him. The girl has tried to block him on all media but he still manages to text and call her (or she lets him), stating things such as "I'll come to your house if you don't call me now" and "why do you let yourself get fucked". He has absolutely no respect for her, and my partner and I are both very afraid that he will do something to her. We think she should get a constraining order, she says he'll never hurt her (which we're not so sure of, so far it just hasn't been physical YET).
The urgency: the ex saw the two of them out last night, and today my partner could not get a hold of the girl when he wanted to make sure she was fine. He is afraid that he's come to her house, or that he's convinced her to meet him. What would you advise him to do in this situation, right now? Should he call someone else? He doesn't have her family's contact details. My partner cares about this girl, and we agree that her relationship with her ex is potentially very dangerous. I want to help but I don't know much about these issues.
TL;DR: | a girl my partner's seeing has a stalking ex and we are worried for her safety. What can my partner do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my 19 [F] have been dating for 15 months and the last 5 have been long distance. Does this sound like a breakup text?
POST: My girlfriend and I are having some troubles with this semi-long distance relationship (an hour or so away). I have made every effort to try and drive to see her every couple of weeks. We were planning on seeing each other this weekend, as this was the only weekend that fit our schedules. Then a huge storm hit where we live and the roads were too dangerous to travel that far.
Her response to me telling her I couldn't make was very confusing to me. I understood her frustration for the cancellations of plans, but what I couldn't understand is her attitude toward the state of our relationship now. I have been fighting to keep us together since the first day she left for college. I have always told her that we were going to make it, and that I would try my hardest to keep us close.
I received this text today from her:
"I'm tired of doing this. I'm tired of there never being enough time, trying to work around our schedules just to get six hours with each other for one day. I don't think I can do this distance anymore. It's just getting to hard, and it's only going to get harder"
This sparked an argument because to me this sounds like she's tired of the stress and wants to break up. She later tells me that I misunderstood the text and that I am at fault for blowing up on her. I told her that I was going to text her back in a little while when we both weren't as upset, and she gets more upset that I'm ignoring her and drawing it out.
I
love this girl so much and I know that if we just make it to this summer, everything will be ok because I will be going to her college next year. We have had great memories and I love every second that I am with her. The times that I am with her make her seem like a totally different person than when we are apart. I don't want to break up when we are this close to the hard part being over (3 months).
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and I are struggling with a long distance relationship. I got a text today that seemed like she wanted to break up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Servers of reddit, what is the most ridiculous justification people have used in order to stiff you on a tip or get free food?
POST: I don't work in the food service industry, but several of my friends do, and they tell me it is hell.
My buddy told me a story about a family of five who came in to the pizza joint he worked at and ordered several pizzas. When they were served, the patrons told the server everything was fine, ate one piece of each pizza, and complained that they were all wrong. They sent the pizzas back, got several more, ate a few slices each, and the order was "wrong" again.
They managed to walk out with an incredibly reduced bill and didn't pay a tip because of the lack of "quality service."
I could take this on a larger rant about how ridiculous it is that servers/restaurant owners have to put up with blatant shit like this, but I'm curious about your stories.
TL;DR: | Family acts like assholes, gets free pizza. What's your story about ridiculous ways people got reduced bills, free food, or refused to tip because of some made-up reason? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Wrestling Regionals vs. Other priorities?
POST: I'm a high school student and I hot accepted to regionals for wrestling (which is an honor). However it is this Friday going into Saturday and Friday night is our school dance that I was going take my girlfriend to. She straight up told me that she would be a little upset if I didn't go to the dance, because I had promised her. I also have play practice, which I am a lead in, all week as well as numerous tests. So reddit, what do I do? This is my first year wrestling, so I may get my ass kicked, and I may do it next year, but for now I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Do I go to a huge wrestling tournament, or take my girlfriend to a dance I promised I'd take her to? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: He's acting like we didn't break up...
POST: I recently moved to a different state for the summer, and before doing so my boyfriend and I separated because of other issues, on top of distance. But, he is still in love with me. And I am not sure if I still am with him, but I definitely have strong feelings for him still. And I really don't know if I want this to be over, *forever*. He's great and I know I'm being extremely selfish. I just have this hope that someday it could work out, but not while I am in a different state!
I made it clear before I left that we aren't together during this time apart. Since being here though, he talks to me all the time and he still says "I love you" to me and acts like we're together. I didn't know how to deal with that, I've said "I love you" back. Because I did/do(?)
A few days ago though I told him I needed a little more space. And then I had a crazy stupid drunk night and had a threesome. And he is visiting me in 2 days.
I guess my issue is, do I need to tell him what happened before he visits me, so he can decide if he still wants to come? I feel like he needs to know for his own sake/health. He is definitely visiting me fully intending on having sex with me again. Since I've been here he has acted like we didn't even break up. How should I react when he tells me "I love you" still?
TL;DR: | He doesn't want things to be the way they are, but they are, and I know it's going to hurt him, but I don't know how to deal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I didn't realize he was one of those teachers
POST: I've been taking biology classes with this one guy for the last few quarters at my college and he seemed like an awesome dude. I lead a busy life aside from college with two jobs and need to use the public transit to get to class, which can sometimes run late. Because the bus system here isn't very reliable, I've be late to class a few times. He used to take late work the same day as long as it's before five. (these were morning classes) This quarter, however, he no longer takes late work past the start of class on the dot, no matter what. You can email in your work early though, for two points off, except I'm in the process of moving and have no internet right now. Big ass assignment is due today and because of traffic, I get there late but try and email him before I head to class at the school's computers. The email goes out at 9:03. He won't take it at all though. Am I crazy in thinking his new rule is fucking ridiculous? I mean, shit fucking happens, sometimes it's part of life. Would you not agree he should be a bit more lenient? Does anyone else have a teacher like that? How did/would you deal with it?
TL;DR: | My teacher won't accept an assignment a few minutes past the deadline when I get stuck in traffic and have no way of getting it to him before the deadline, is that a fucking dick move in your oppinion? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Please Reddit help me. Serious question regarding possible rape.
POST: My girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago for a variety of different bullshit reasons. We dated for close to a year and a half. She calls me up last night wanting to talk.
She tells me about one night a few months back where she went with a friend of ours to another one of our friends houses after a party where she had way too many drinks. This friend of ours who I hang out with regularly apparently followed her into the bathroom and had sex with her. I wasn't there and i arrived roughly 15 minutes after said incident.
She claims the reasons she gave me for the breakup were made up due to her guilty conscious. I'm feeling really depressed about the whole situation and the fact it was with a friend of mine.
TL;DR: | My gf cheated on me with a friend and she makes it sound like rape. Any advice? Should I do anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm[21m] thinking about asking a girl[19F] at my work. Should I?
POST: Hi reddit, hoping to get some advice, long time lurker and decided to make a throwaway. So this is actually my second week working and met a girl I think I would really get along with. She helped me with training and we have our laughs but I'm wondering if it's too soon. We encountered each other about 3 times but I've only worked with her once and that's only because she had to cover for someone. Basically we both have different schedules. And valentines day is right around the corner. I highly doubt I'll see her again before then.
My suggestion would be to try asking her friend who I'm working with later today in order to get her number. Me and her friend get along as well so I'm not entirely out of the question of her refusing to give her friend's number. Assuming she agrees to give away her friend's number I plan to call her and ask her out, I would much rather ask her in person but that's not an option.
Another suggestion would be to skip valentines day and try to get to know her a little more on the rare opportunities that we get to see each other. Haven't seen her since last sunday.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Met this girl at work that I like, we have different schedules. Thinking about asking my coworker for the number of the girl that I like. Should I do it? Or should I skip valentines day? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone out there actually work for the TSA? What's going on on the inside? How are you handling all of the backlash against you? I would just like to hear what's happening on the other side of this coin
POST: So, while I am opposed to the new level of security theater, I would like to acknowledge that even the people at TSA are human and have to endure the act of repeatedly touching others in a way that is uncomfortable at best. Travelers who have been through the horror of being sexually assaulted in their past are justifiably uncomfortable with all of this. I am wondering how much mental anguish a TSA employee who has perhaps been through a sexual assault has to endure just to "do their job" ? How much pain they have to endure if they have to pat down a child, bringing up possible past painful memories, AND having others call them names such as pedophile, pervert, and so on.
I'll wager anything that to many TSA employees, these pat downs are psychologically damaging. Just as much as they are to those receiving this treatment.
Now, I realize that there are those who abuse their power trips, but I would be willing to guess that many of them hate this as much as most travelers do.
TL;DR: | Just want to hear from those on the other side of this ridiculous security theater coin. Maybe we could all join forces and finally stop all of this (at the risk of sounding like an unintelligent hippie) |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Me [18 M] met this awesome girl [18 F] a few days ago, we got fairly touchy-feely at a party, she started to ingnore me, and I'm not sure if I should ask her out.
POST: Hey Reddit,
A good friend of mine from high school hosted a party last Friday night, and brought along a bunch of friends from his University that I hadn't met before. One of his friends took an interest in me, and we started talking to each other. As the night went on, both of us got a bit tipsy (5 drinks max), and started getting fairly touchy-feely with each other.
(I should mention one of my friends who doesn't drink, and would never lie to me, saw this girl tell a friend that she was interested in me.)
We were basically sitting down, cuddling with each other and holding hands saying stuff like "you're cute, you're beautiful, etc." with each other for a few hours. It was quite intimate. However, after a while, we drifted apart and began to socialise with others, and she started to ignore me.
Before we got to sleep, I asked her what all the behaviour earlier in the night was for, and she responded "Well, we were drunk." We didn't talk that much the next morning.
I'm wondering if asking her out for coffee would be a good idea. Part of me thinks its a bad idea and I should just let this go.
TL;DR: | Met a girl at a party. We got fairly touchy-feely with each other, but I think she lost interest. Should I let this one go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my boyfriend of eight months[23 M]I'm going abroad for almost two years for university and would like to know the best way to end things amicably.
POST: I've been with this guy since the start of the year. He's great, very smart, good sense of humour and we share a lot of similar tastes.
We started this relationship both knowing that I'd be going abroad in September and I'm sure I don't want to go down the whole LDR thing. I tried to bring it up when I was with him the other day but he was in such a good mood and we were having a great time that I didn't want to spoil everything. My family like him very much, though I have not met his yet, but I have met his large circle of friends many times.
How can I bring up the subject of us putting an end to our relationship and if he feels differently than I do regarding LDR how can I end our relationship amicably?
TL;DR: | Going abroad for almost two years in Septmeber, looking for advice on how to end things sooner rather than later. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28M] wife [26F] says I don't really talk to her enough or think about the future.
POST: So my wife has come to me several times and told me that she feels more like a live in nanny for our 4 month old son than my wife. She says that I never talk to her about anything meaningful including my life, work, plans, the future, etc. And she is right... Most of what I say to her is simply whatever I am thinking about at the moment, my brain is very response-based. If she asks me something, I will answer, but that's about it.
It's not that I don't want to talk to her, my brain just doesn't seem to work that way. I just don't ever think about the future. Or the past. Really my brain is 100% focused on the moment and she hates that I don't plan things for our family or talk to her about what's bothering me or ask her about her day.
I guess what I'm asking is: how do I change? I don't like being this way, I really wish I did think about the future. I would like to be able to make plans, think ahead, surprise her with things. What can I do to work on my mentality? Make lists? Set aside time daily to purposefully think about future plans? I feel like I need to change the way I think so that she gets the husband she deserves.
TL;DR: | I want to work on being able to plan things for my family and have more meaningful conversations with my wife, how do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22 /F] dumped by my _bf__ [25 M/] of 5 years, both our first relationship , how do you even move on?
POST: Well today was the day I have dreaded for some time. My boyfriend and I broke up weeks shy of our 5 year anniversary. I am still in love with him, but he says that he isn't IN love with me, but loves me and is still my friend. We both knew that over the years our interests diverged a bit and to him he admitted today that he only saw us growing father apart in the future. He most importantly needs space to get his shit together ( 25 still living at home going to community college and kinda directionless). While I can see where he is coming from, I feel utterly broken and devastated.
This is somebody I could see a future with, kids and all. I am still stupidly in love with him and this all hurts so much . One big reason he didnt see a future with me is that our interests diverge( I am passionate about social justice and education). More so that I am so preoccupied with responsibilities of keeping a roof over my head and putting my self through university that I lack time for seriously developing other interests and hobbies that he himself is serious about ( art, music, comedy) .
I am just seeking what to do with myself next. I have few friendships right now and feel pretty isolated and shy. I feel like I need to start my life over again, he's been my world since I was 17 and without him everything feels like its collapsing.
TL;DR: | Ended first relationship of 5 years , I'm still in love with him, how do I even start to pull myself out of this darkness? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by remembering I installed adblock
POST: I am an avid YouTube watcher and I installed ad-block a week ago. Not remembering I did this, I have been watching videos the last couple of days and have been severely interested in why I haven't been shown an ad this whole time. My brain even started to make things up in order to justify it. I remembered hearing rumors of how YouTube would start to allow only "YouTube partners" to upload videos. (Only people that can have monetized videos). I thought maybe as a secret revolt, top-tier You Tubers disabled their ads as a way to start a movement to "keep it free". And then I started another train of thought, that it was a revolt to the current percentage YouTube takes of the ads played on the creators content. As if it was a secret conspiracy among popular You Tubers.
Then I just now remembered I installed ad-block, and how all of the conspiracies I made up and hours I randomly spent pondering why this was happening (mostly while laying in bed at night) was a complete waste of time and that I am stupid.
TL;DR: | I installed ad-block, forgot, made up fake conspiracies as to why I wasn't being shown ads anymore, remembered, felt like idiot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think a lot of these AskReddit submissions are well written fictional stories. What should I do?
POST: It started when I was a kid. My dad would always tell me that honesty was the best policy, and that lying would take you to Hell, etc. Whenever he thought I was lying, he'd beat me, saying he was 'beating the devil out of me' and that he only did it because 'he loved me'. That was when the molestation began.
But let's not talk about that. I need help with my sister's birth mother, who just found out I like older women and tried to gut me with a bread knife. She sliced through half my pinky finger from me blocking her swing when the cops got there. They proceded to beat me and tell me I shouldn't fight women, and that it makes me a coward.
I'm with my gay cousin in another state, who just got out of prison for selling crack cocaine to an undercover kindergartener. Shit's fucked up, I know. My only way to cope with what's happened to me in the past few hours is to skim reddit posts for believable submissions. I can't though, because a large amount of AskReddits are more about telling absurdly strange stories, followed by questions that have one of two flaws: A) The obvious answer is "Get a lawyer" or B) "How the fuck should I know? My wife didn't try to kill me because my bisexual stepson was looking at porn!"
TL;DR: | I'll have an emotional breakdown if I don't find out how to handle fake AskReddits, what do I do to cope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally taking 1/4 ounce of magic mushrooms.
POST: Well, technically it was last night. It was one of my first experiences, my friends parents were out of town and he threw a mushroom sleepover for new years, which sounded like a fuck ton of fun. Being one of the first ones there, I thought I'd get creative and make my dose into a drink. After some research, I decided lemon aid would be the best choice for preperation, and after a few other people arrived I polished off most of an 1/8th of an ounce. For those who dont know, starting out people should take somewhere from 1/16th-1/8th. I decided it was gonna be a hyperspace type of night and I wanted to see the real fireworks ;D
Anyway, as 15+ people started getting shroomy, I thought mine was wearing off just a little too much and maybe I'd taken it too early.. So I found one of my mates who was walking around and had subsequently taken acid AND mushrooms, and was for all means and purposes sleep walking. I told him I NEEDED more, and without even asking for money or if I was sure he took out another 1/8th and handed it to me. After mashing them up and walking around happily showing everyone at the party my "universe in a bowl", I made it into a second drink for everyone at the party to share. A few people took smalls sips and some got a few chunks of mushroom, but for the most part I realized I had been walking around the party offering it to people, and drinking more and more as they said no thank you. Things got really interesting for a while, then extremely fun, and very sharply and suddenly everything was completely terrifying. I had convinced myself at one point that I was just the type of person to be prone to schizophrenia, and i was probably going to be stuck in that place forever. But, as is life, I came out of it after a few hours of sitting behind a couch in the dark. Anyway, the take away for you kids should be that you have to be careful with anything that could be dangerous, and once it goes in your mouth its a little harder than you'd think to reverse the process.
TL;DR: | After taking alot of mushrooms, i prepared more mushrooms for other house guests and ended up eating those as well. Learned that if you mushroom before you pizza, you're gonna have a bad time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A girl(21F) I really like told me(23M) I did a "Turn and Burn", what does that mean?
POST: We have been texting for about 2 weeks and have had 1 pretty good date, started to slow down and she recently stopped fully responding to my texts 2 days ago. I would say "Good Morning How are you?" and she would respond once, but nothing for the rest of the day, so I decided I would wait for her to text me the next time.
So this morning she texts me and says "Good morning. How are you?" and I replied with "Hi :) I'm doing good, just doing X, Y, and Z today. How are you? You have seemed quiet lately..."
She replied with, "Sorry im not trying to be quiet, u just did a turn and burn." So Im really wondering what that means, I like her a lot and want to continue to get to know her, just wondering if I did something really bad by accident?
TL;DR: | A girl I went a on a date with told me I did a "Turn and Burn" after we slowed down texting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I feel like my [21F] boyfriend [23M] has no respect for me
POST: My boyfriend is super smart - knows lots about computers, science, etc. Me on the other hand, I like art, music and dance and I wouldn't say I'm as smart as him. Sometimes, when we'll be talking and I make a statement I feel like he is quite condescending towards me and always trying to prove how my statement is wrong. Especially when it comes to science, if I remark upon something I know he'll treat it with extreme skepticism until I prove it to him. He doesn't do this with everyone though, and when other people make similar statements he shows interest and is keen to know more. With me, I feel like his response is more out of annoyance and a desire to prove I'm wrong which makes me feel like I'm being disrespected.
TL;DR: | Basically I feel like my boyfriend thinks I'm stupid and dumb. Apart from this, everything is good. What can I do? Is this relationship doomed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone here work for Cricket Wireless? And want to make some money?
POST: I use Cricket as a secondary phone provider and calling customer service has become a little more than a joke. The only "Cricket" stores around me are not a corporate store, just payment centers and are staffed with people that do not seem to know how to do much aside from taking my money. I have a phone I want to use with that service, it's an old Verizon phone that I got from my sister when she upgraded to an Android, it is flashed to work with the Cricket network. Is there a way to switch to that phone from my current one without having to go to a corporate location? If you could tell me how to do it at home, or if you could do it for me I would be more than willing to buy you a full year of reddit gold, or a game on Steam up to $30. Actually $30 in any form, whether it be games, porn, pizza, reddit gold, sexual favours, beer, gift cards to your favorite place or one word for your grave stone. Thanks in advance for any help or information you can provide, it will be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I want to switch to a different phone without dealing with customer service or driving an hour each way to a Cricket corporate store and I'll pay you $30 in any form for helping me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/m] I feel like I'm losing interest on my girlfriend (20/f)
POST: Hi,
Me and my girlfriend have been together for about a year and a few months and I love her like no else but lately I've caught myself losing physical interest on her. I really think about making out with other girls but I always tell a "No" to myself because I'll regret it and feel reaaaally shit about myself but it's always on my mind. I go out and check other girls out and wanna approach them but I always stop because I love my girlfriend very very much but I can't stop thinking about girls I saw on the street and such.
This has been torturing me for a few weeks and I really need some help on the subject. I don't wanna break up and I really really love her (which sounds stupid given I check other girls but I really do love her!) but damn I'm an idiot who wants to stick it elsewhere.
What should I do? Please, I'm desperate for help! I really wanna get back my affection for her!
TL;DR: | I feel like I'm losing interest on my gf, check out other girls on the street but I don't wanna do anything with anyone else but her! how do I get to feel like I did before? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Ok Redditors, your advice needed. My ex bringing her new boyfriend over - he used to be my friend that backstabbed me to get together with her. What do I do?
POST: Ok, so quick background. I used to be friends with that guy for few years. Then I started dating a girl and we were together for almost 4 years. The friend went off for gap year, and when he came back, he became best friends with my girl and helped her to break up with me. Then they started dating after about a month.
Now, I'm still at uni and I have to live with her for at least next 5 months or so. She now told me that my former friend/her new bf is coming over to stay here for 2 weeks. I warned her it's gonna end up badly because I really hat what he did and not gonna tolerate him being around me.
Don't want do anything stupid if she still chooses bring him over, but I really don't think I will be able to control myself. Any advice Redditors?
TL;DR: | Friend helped my GF break up with me, then started dating her. Now she wants him to stay with her for 2 weeks in the house we share. I'm enraged and looking for advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Almost 4 year old not at all interested in learning
POST: Hello everyone! I love this subreddit! I have found so much great information and advice.
So, my girlfriend has a 3 year old son (Turns 4 on July 4th) and a 7 year old daughter. The daughter just soaked in learning and still does. She knew all her letters well before kindergarten and her 0-9 numbers well before kindergarten as well. We have worked with her 3 year old son and he just has no interest. Is this ok? We are not intense or pushy about it... nothing like "You must learn!!!" lol Just want to make sure he is ready for his Pre-K class this next year. We will sit with him with the letters A, B, & C and show him the A and say "This is A." and then repeat "A, A, A" and hand it to him and point at it in his hand and say "A". Then will put it back with the B & C on the floor. We will then say, "which one is A?" , and he will hand us a B or a C usually and very rarely grab the A. Should we be concerned with this or just assume he isn't ready? Are we doing this in a way that works? Also, with numbers he seems to recognize them but almost just seems to refuse to verbally recall them. I will ask him "How many worms are there?" in his number book (there are 2) and he will show me two fingers but will not say two. He will always say the wrong number but always show the right number or fingers. He can identify colors and shapes just fine... he loves to talk, is so very loving and sweet and loves his cars, trucks, and other toys.
Any advice is welcome! Any tricks you have used or anything like that. Thanks so much everyone!!
TL;DR: | Tips and tricks for teaching an almost-four-year-old letters and numbers? We will start with A, B, C and 1-5. Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Roommate [?? M] of a girl I'm dating has been with the girl he has been dating [?? F], who is my girl's friend, for over 8 yrs. Relationship has gone long distance for the first time, my girl is in a bit of a pickle.
POST: To make the details easy...bullets.
* I'm dating a girl [23 F]
* Her friend [20's? F] moved long distance (1,000+ miles away) for a year for school
* My girl's current roommate is the boyfriend of said friend [20's? M]
* Her friend and this roommate have been dating for 8 years
Upon leaving for school, the friend told my girl to keep an eye on her boyfriend while she is away as she won't be back until after the school year is over. Unfortunately, the boyfriend is fooling around with another girl. My girl gave the guy an ultimatum (last week?) saying she would tell her friend if he didn't stop seeing this girl (nothing sexual had happened to that point, so no harm no foul). He said OK. Then last night she saw the girl had slept over (i.e. sexual boundary has probably been crossed).
My girl is in a pickle. She obviously has an obligation to her friend to tell her about her boyfriend's infidelity, but at the same time, this guy is her roommate and if the friend found out he would obviously know who told her. I asked my girl if she is on the lease and she said yes (in other words, it is not like the roommate is the sole leaser and can kick her out if shit hit the fan).
What should my girl do? I'd like her to tell her friend, but at the same time I don't want to see her get into a s****y living situation as she is here on a student visa.
TL;DR: | a girl im dating has an obligation to her friend to keep an eye on her boyfriend, who, unfortunately, is the girl's roommate. the boyfriend is messing around. what should she do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my gf [21 F] 5 years relationship, she broke up with me because wanted to date another guys.
POST: I was in a relationship with her for 5 years and we have been through a lot together. This year she had the opportunity to pursue exchange studies in USA for a period of 1 year. I helped her with all the paperwork and gave all support she needed to make the best of this opportunity. I wasn't concerned about our relationship, because we were really close to each other and I thought I knew her enough. After six months she said she was having feelings for another guy and felt confused about us. She wanted a open relationship to be able to meet other guys. In the beginning I was quite open minded about that. I little sad but supportive. A couple of days after I realize that I just couldn't do that. I don't know why, I just felt so humiliated. So she broke up with me saying she wanted to meet other guys and maybe when she come back we could see what happens with us.
On the top of that I've been struggling with depression since the finish of undergrad school. As long as I took my medicines I would be fine, but with she going to USA and another events of my life along with the pressure of my post-graduate studies made it a really painful experience.
Now I don't know how to keep going with my life. All the major things I accomplished in my life were with her. She helped me a lot to pass through my situation with depression. Rationally, I totally understand her. But I feel so despised. It seemed so easy for her making a decision between a 6 years old relationship or some random guy.
I don't know how to lead with that. Should we stay friends for a while? because maybe if she change her mind about that we could put things together. But it also makes me feel so devalued. Currently in my life all my friends are far away taking care of their lives and I don't have anyone to talk about that. Which are the best ways to put all of this behind and walk with my life?
TL;DR: | My gf went to another country for 1 year exchange studies. The distance made her rethink our relationship and now she wants to break up and I am lost with that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trapping my cat
POST: This did actually happen today, about two hours ago.
I live/work on a ranch, and as such that involves the regular vehicle maintenance. Today's job involved our trusty Ford Ranger, which we've (ab)used for over 13 years now. Battery had died thanks to cold weather, so I replaced it as well as an overdue oil change. I should also note this is one of the late 80's Rangers that was basically a F150 body with a 6cyl engine dropped in a cavernous frontend and gimped leaf springs in it.
The FU:
I finished up the work, and rolled the work table across the shop to put the tools away. Unbeknownst to me, our resident mouse remover (read: rather small tabby cat) decided that the engine compartment was an interesting area to explore, and jumped up inside. Me being the absentminded boy, I casually slammed the hood down without another thought, knowing I had already double-checked everything. Tabby cat remains silent.
I hop in the cab, hit the starter and it fires off like the day it was made. Then comes the loudest, most horrifying yowl/screech I have ever heard. This isn't your average frightened cat noise - this is a next-level shake-your-soul screaming banshee noise. I kill the engine and pop the hood - and that tabby cat bolts the fuck out and disappears. Welp.
About an hour later the cat shows up on the porch - pissed as hell, avoiding me like the devil and sans about an inch and a half of her tail. Now my mom is pissed as hell too for obvious reasons.
TL;DR: | Cat hid in truck, started said truck, cat got part of her tail cut off. Neither the cat nor my mother are on speaking terms with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (29m) date with the most beautiful girl to walk on the face of this Earth went great!! But what now? How do I keep things going?
POST: So my date went very well (I am [29 m] and she is [25 f])!! Thanks to everyone who gave advice.. all of it helped tremendously!
I found out she's from another country and she's here getting her masters degree. We had a great, short date and we found we have a lot in common. I guess the next question is, what now? At the end of the date she said we should study together sometime.. she also invited me to go with her to a concert she's going to in October. So she still sounds interested and I am definitely still interested and would like to pursue this new adventure... but what do I do now as far as communication goes?
TL;DR: | Our date went very well and we both expressed wanting to hang out again. So how do I continue to not screw this up? How should communication be handled from here on out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Maine] Received a collections letter from a prior electric company after I moved - Did they my bill to collections far too early?
POST: This situation is already resolved (I paid them before I got the letter, so the account was closed already), but I couldn't find anything online and was just curious on how this works!
My lease from a previous apartment ran out August 30th of this year. I gave proper notice and moved out. My roommates stayed in the apartment, so I notified the electric company that I wanted to transfer billing responsibility to one of the roommates.
This all goes well...or so I thought. On September 31st, I get a "final due notice" from the electric company that was forwarded from my old address and dated the 16th (so it took 2 _weeks_ for USPS to forward the mail). Apparently I forgot to pay the bill! I immediately go online and schedule a payment which goes through. This bill was dated September 1st as the final bill and I had forgotten to pay it with all the moving business I was doing.
Well, October 16th rolls around and I get a collections notice in the mail that was dated the 6th (so, again two week delay from forwarded) saying I owed the money I already paid them. I go online and the account was "paid in full".
So my question is, can the electric company really do this? During this whole event, I did not receive a single phone call (my cell phone is on file) or email from them....my first communication was the final bill then it immediately went to collections after I already paid it.
I feel like they immediately jumped to sending an under $60 bill to collections where it could have negatively affected my credit. If they called even once it would've been taken care of! I'm pretty sure I gave them my new address (didn't need power as I was moving in with another person) but they send all mail to my old one which resulted in the delays. This is more of a curiosity for information than advice since I took care of it....at least, I hope so. Nothing showed up on my report yet but I check frequently.
TL;DR: | Electric company sent bill to collections after ~30 days past due, made no attempts to contact me except for one "final notice" mail less than 2 weeks before it goes to collections. Is this the norm? |
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