JackBAI/bert_pretrain_datasets · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 1 461k
i wish i could turn off the part of my body that 's attracted to him .
if anything , though , my sex dreams about him have only become more frequent and more alarming ever since he laid his hand on my thigh .
`` and here 's your room . ''
i ca n't believe it 's right next door to nate 's room .
there are so many rooms in this place-i would have preferred to have a bit more separation between us .
`` whoa , '' i say as she pushes the door open , and my misgivings about the room are forgotten .
a canopy with a delicate white fabric settled on it hangs over the four-poster bed in the center of the room .
a matching nightstand , bureau , and vanity make up the rest of the furniture .
the wallpaper is a tasteful , blue and white pattern with small birds on it that complements the light , airy feel of the room .
i release the handle of my luggage and head over the to the window seat and kneel on it .
there 's a spectacular view of the potomac river below-the house was clearly built to play up the amazing location .
i glance to my left .
`` is that my own bathroom ? ''
`` yup-no more sharing ! ''
my mom replies gaily .
i step inside and admire the all-white tile and huge tub .
i 've never been in a house so nice .
i ca n't believe i 'm actually going to call this place home from now on .
`` you want anything to eat ? ''
my mom asks from the bedroom .
`` um , yeah , that would be great , '' i call over my shoulder .
`` ok , i 'll whip something up .
you stay here and get settled .
i 'll be in the kitchen when you 're ready to eat . ''
i wander back into the bedroom as my mom disappears down the stairs .
there is one question i have that i ca n't bring myself to ask her .
it 's just ... i know my mom worries about money , about me graduating from school with so much debt .
it 's not that i think she would have married pierce just for the money , but i worry that it might have clouded her judgment a bit .
they got married so quickly-can she really know him that well ?
maybe i 'm just falling back into my usual pattern of co-dependency and mothering her .
she 's a grown woman , i ca n't control what she does and i 'm not responsible for her decisions ... not to mention , i am hugely relieved to not have to carry around student loans for the rest of my life .
i kick my sandals off and sink back down onto the window seat .
the potomac is a dark green sliver barely visible through the bushy trees that line the back of the estate and continue down to the shoreline .
i startle as a figure breaks the stillness .
i recognize nate 's head as he walks up from the lower lawn to the pool , a lacrosse stick tucked over his shoulder .
sheesh-is he training already ?
school just ended !
i bite my lip as i watch him toss the stick on the deck and peel off his shirt .
he uses it to wipe the sweat off his face , then tosses it on a chair and kicks off his sneakers .
his body is just ... impossible .
i mean , i guess it makes sense .
two varsity sports are probably enough to give anyone a body like a greek god , but he also has the face to match .
he jumps in the pool and i watch him swim a lap , the cool blue water cascading over his muscular back and shoulders .
i need to get used to seeing him like this-and stop acting like a total freak every time we 're in the same room .
this is my new normal .
`` your food 's ready ! ''
my mom calls upstairs , her voice echoing a bit in the multi-level foyer .
i jump up and head downstairs .
i turn into a formal dining room before finding my way to the kitchen .
i stop as i realize the kitchen windows look directly out onto the pool .
great .
`` i ca n't believe nate 's already in the pool .
the water 's still freezing , '' my mom comments .
`` yeah , he 's crazy ... '' i reply , before i really hear what she said .
i 'm too distracted by nate 's backstroke , his arms cutting cleanly through the water .
`` so you two never once ran into each other on campus in the three years you 've been at uva ? ''
she asks , sliding a blt onto the glass table in the breakfast nook .
we sit down across from each other and i start eating .
`` no , well ... we had n't ever met . ''
`` but ? ''
my mom digs , hearing a slight hesitation in my voice .
`` well , nate 's really well known around campus .
he starts on the lacrosse and crew teams , he 's smart , good- '' i catch myself and pretend to clear my throat .
`` good-looking ? ''
my mom asks with a smile .
`` mom ... '' i groan .
`` well , he is .
i 'm not blind .
actually , pierce looked just like him when he was his age . ''
i see nate get out of the pool over my mom 's shoulder and shake himself off .
i force myself to look down at my sandwich as he walks across to a lawn chair and lies down .
`` what happened to nate 's mom ? ''
my mom winces .
`` pierce does n't really like to talk about it-too painful .
apparently , she cheated on him and then abandoned him and nate .
they never see her . ''
`` oh , that 's awful , '' i murmur , trying to shove down the twinge of pity i feel for my new stepbrother .
`` i think it 's one of the things that brought us together-raising a child by ourselves . ''
my eyes flick to the door as nate slides it open .
he 's put his shirt back on but it clings to his still damp torso , emphasizing his muscular pecs and shoulders .
he drops his sneakers on the mat as he shuts the door behind him .
`` hey nate , '' my mom greets him .
`` would you like a sandwich ? ''
`` you do n't have to do that , '' he says , a little gruffly .
`` i do n't mind at all , '' she replies , standing to move back to the counter .
he pauses , then sits in her abandoned chair a bit reluctantly .
`` it 's so funny that you and brynn never met at school ! ''
`` i think there might have been one time- '' he says , glancing at me , that same devilish look back in his eyes .
i feel his knee come to rest against mine under the table , and i quickly cross my legs .
`` in class .
we have been in a few of the same classes together , '' i clarify , narrowing my eyes at him .
`` we have ? ''
he asks looking genuinely surprised .
my mom quietly spreads mayo on a slice of bread at the marble island .
`` yes , '' i whisper , embarrassed .
of course he would n't remember all of the times we 've sat in the same classroom-only the time when i ogled him in the doorway of his bedroom and completely embarrassed myself .
i blush .
i want to sink into this seat cushion and disappear .
he frowns at me then turns his palm over and begins to pick at a callous .
`` so honey , pierce says you 'll start your internship on monday , ok ?

i wish i could turn off the part of my body that 's attracted to him .

if anything , though , my sex dreams about him have only become more frequent and more alarming ever since he laid his hand on my thigh .

`` and here 's your room . ''

i ca n't believe it 's right next door to nate 's room .

there are so many rooms in this place-i would have preferred to have a bit more separation between us .

`` whoa , '' i say as she pushes the door open , and my misgivings about the room are forgotten .

a canopy with a delicate white fabric settled on it hangs over the four-poster bed in the center of the room .

a matching nightstand , bureau , and vanity make up the rest of the furniture .

the wallpaper is a tasteful , blue and white pattern with small birds on it that complements the light , airy feel of the room .

i release the handle of my luggage and head over the to the window seat and kneel on it .

there 's a spectacular view of the potomac river below-the house was clearly built to play up the amazing location .

i glance to my left .

`` is that my own bathroom ? ''

`` yup-no more sharing ! ''

my mom replies gaily .

i step inside and admire the all-white tile and huge tub .

i 've never been in a house so nice .

i ca n't believe i 'm actually going to call this place home from now on .

`` you want anything to eat ? ''

my mom asks from the bedroom .

`` um , yeah , that would be great , '' i call over my shoulder .

`` ok , i 'll whip something up .

you stay here and get settled .

i 'll be in the kitchen when you 're ready to eat . ''

i wander back into the bedroom as my mom disappears down the stairs .

there is one question i have that i ca n't bring myself to ask her .

it 's just ... i know my mom worries about money , about me graduating from school with so much debt .

it 's not that i think she would have married pierce just for the money , but i worry that it might have clouded her judgment a bit .

they got married so quickly-can she really know him that well ?

maybe i 'm just falling back into my usual pattern of co-dependency and mothering her .

she 's a grown woman , i ca n't control what she does and i 'm not responsible for her decisions ... not to mention , i am hugely relieved to not have to carry around student loans for the rest of my life .

i kick my sandals off and sink back down onto the window seat .

the potomac is a dark green sliver barely visible through the bushy trees that line the back of the estate and continue down to the shoreline .

i startle as a figure breaks the stillness .

i recognize nate 's head as he walks up from the lower lawn to the pool , a lacrosse stick tucked over his shoulder .

sheesh-is he training already ?

school just ended !

i bite my lip as i watch him toss the stick on the deck and peel off his shirt .

he uses it to wipe the sweat off his face , then tosses it on a chair and kicks off his sneakers .

his body is just ... impossible .

i mean , i guess it makes sense .

two varsity sports are probably enough to give anyone a body like a greek god , but he also has the face to match .

he jumps in the pool and i watch him swim a lap , the cool blue water cascading over his muscular back and shoulders .

i need to get used to seeing him like this-and stop acting like a total freak every time we 're in the same room .

this is my new normal .

`` your food 's ready ! ''

my mom calls upstairs , her voice echoing a bit in the multi-level foyer .

i jump up and head downstairs .

i turn into a formal dining room before finding my way to the kitchen .

i stop as i realize the kitchen windows look directly out onto the pool .

great .

`` i ca n't believe nate 's already in the pool .

the water 's still freezing , '' my mom comments .

`` yeah , he 's crazy ... '' i reply , before i really hear what she said .

i 'm too distracted by nate 's backstroke , his arms cutting cleanly through the water .

`` so you two never once ran into each other on campus in the three years you 've been at uva ? ''

she asks , sliding a blt onto the glass table in the breakfast nook .

we sit down across from each other and i start eating .

`` no , well ... we had n't ever met . ''

`` but ? ''

my mom digs , hearing a slight hesitation in my voice .

`` well , nate 's really well known around campus .

he starts on the lacrosse and crew teams , he 's smart , good- '' i catch myself and pretend to clear my throat .

`` good-looking ? ''

my mom asks with a smile .

`` mom ... '' i groan .

`` well , he is .

i 'm not blind .

actually , pierce looked just like him when he was his age . ''

i see nate get out of the pool over my mom 's shoulder and shake himself off .

i force myself to look down at my sandwich as he walks across to a lawn chair and lies down .

`` what happened to nate 's mom ? ''

my mom winces .

`` pierce does n't really like to talk about it-too painful .

apparently , she cheated on him and then abandoned him and nate .

they never see her . ''

`` oh , that 's awful , '' i murmur , trying to shove down the twinge of pity i feel for my new stepbrother .

`` i think it 's one of the things that brought us together-raising a child by ourselves . ''

my eyes flick to the door as nate slides it open .

he 's put his shirt back on but it clings to his still damp torso , emphasizing his muscular pecs and shoulders .

he drops his sneakers on the mat as he shuts the door behind him .

`` hey nate , '' my mom greets him .

`` would you like a sandwich ? ''

`` you do n't have to do that , '' he says , a little gruffly .

`` i do n't mind at all , '' she replies , standing to move back to the counter .

he pauses , then sits in her abandoned chair a bit reluctantly .

`` it 's so funny that you and brynn never met at school ! ''

`` i think there might have been one time- '' he says , glancing at me , that same devilish look back in his eyes .

i feel his knee come to rest against mine under the table , and i quickly cross my legs .

`` in class .

we have been in a few of the same classes together , '' i clarify , narrowing my eyes at him .

`` we have ? ''

he asks looking genuinely surprised .

my mom quietly spreads mayo on a slice of bread at the marble island .

`` yes , '' i whisper , embarrassed .

of course he would n't remember all of the times we 've sat in the same classroom-only the time when i ogled him in the doorway of his bedroom and completely embarrassed myself .

i blush .

i want to sink into this seat cushion and disappear .

he frowns at me then turns his palm over and begins to pick at a callous .

`` so honey , pierce says you 'll start your internship on monday , ok ?