JackBAI/bert_pretrain_datasets · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 1 461k
i ask , immediately hearing stress in her voice .
`` oh , it 's nothing , but pierce wo n't be able to get out of the office long enough to go kayaking today .
i 'm just going to drive down to the office now , so at least he and i can have lunch together . ''
`` ok , should we- '' `` no , you two go kayaking and have fun , alright ?
we 'll see you tonight for dinner . ''
`` oh , alright , if you 're sure , '' i reply , wincing as i catch nate watching me , his muscular torso gleaming in the sun .
`` your dad got caught up in work stuff , and my mom 's going to go meet him at the office for lunch , so they 're not coming .
they said we should still go if we want , '' i explain as i hang up .
`` since we 're here , '' nate says with a shrug .
`` you ever been kayaking here before ? ''
`` never been kayaking at all . ''
`` well , you 'll love it , '' he replies , locking up his car .
`` says the captain of the uva crew team . ''
i smile .
in short order , we 're pushing off the dock in a tandem kayak .
with nate 's powerful oar strokes , we quickly clear the shallow , muddy water and head toward the open water .
`` you 'll get the hang of it , '' nate encourages me , and i turn around to smile sheepishly at him .
`` i think i 'm just holding you back , here , '' i laugh , trying to get the feeling of how to dip the oar in the water at the right time .
`` well , i have a lot more experience than you in a boat , '' he says .
`` we used to train for crew on the potomac in high school , but we were a lot closer in to the city .
we 'd pass georgetown , the kennedy center ... you 'd be amazed at the wildlife you can see out here , though , '' he tells me as he steers us upriver and into the current .
`` i feel so far away from everything , '' i observe as the sounds of traffic are quickly covered up by the trees rising on either side of us .
`` this land used to belong to a native american tribe called the- '' `` piscataway , '' i finish reflexively .
`` damn , i keep forgetting my stepsister is a nerd , '' he says , and i can hear from his voice that he 's grinning .
`` i wo n't even try to impress you with my passion for local history , then . ''
`` no , come on , impress me , '' i tease him .
`` i ca n't hold a candle , '' he feigns defeat .
`` you get better grades than me . ''
`` yeah , well , put me on two varsity teams and i think those grades might dip a little .
i do n't know how you do it .
my friends allison and miriam tell me i spend too much time at the library-i barely have enough time for them .
not to mention , i 'm not athletically gifted at all , '' i add , nodding to my ineffectual rowing .
`` so you 've got me there . ''
`` i met allison on the 4th , right ? ''
`` right . ''
`` but miriam ? ''
`` she 's back home in memphis for the summer .
she 's my other good friend ; she and allison room together . ''
`` why do n't you live with them ? ''
he asks , and i pause to listen to his oars dropping quietly into the water .
`` mm , i thought about it , but i like living alone .
my mom can be ... '' `` what ? ''
he prods me .
`` i 'm trying to think of a more flattering word for needy . ''
`` you can say needy if you want .
i wo n't tell . ''
`` ok , she 's really fucking needy , '' i reply , feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders .
i hardly ever talk about the more negative aspects of my relationship with my mom .
`` honestly , a lot less so since she 's met pierce , though .
sometimes i just feel like i'm- '' `` her mom , '' he finishes for me .
i turn to face him , raising my eyebrows .
`` is it obvious ? ''
i ask worriedly .
`` i do n't mean to sound resentful . ''
`` you 're allowed to feel however you want about her , '' he responds with a kind smile , and i turn back around .
`` at first i thought you were fragile , '' he says after a moment .
`` like if i dropped you , you 'd break .
i think that 's why ... that 's why i wanted to test you a little . ''
`` you mean when you felt me up at dinner with our parents sitting across from us ? ''
he laughs .
`` i ca n't believe i did that , and i do n't think i 've ever apologized . ''
`` no , you did n't , jerk . ''
`` i am sorry . ''
`` so , you do n't think i 'm fragile now ? ''
`` no .
i think you 're one of the toughest people i 've ever met .
look ! ''
he says suddenly .
i glance back toward him and follow where 's he 's pointing .
`` a great blue heron , '' he explains as i spot the huge bird with its wings spread , perched on a rock in the middle of the river .
`` that 's how they dry their feathers after they dive for fish . ''
he stops rowing for a while as we watch it .
suddenly it pulls its wings in , gathers itself like a coil , and launches into the air .
we watch it fly into the distant treetops before we begin paddling up the river again .
`` why are you interested in history ? ''
i ask him .
`` i like understanding why people behave the way they do , '' he explains quietly .
i resist the urge to ask how this relates to his own history , trying to respect the boundaries he 's put up .
`` how 's greg ? ''
he asks suddenly .
i turn around and narrow my eyes at him .
`` what ?
that 's a friendly question , '' he says with a devilish grin .
`` i ... i do n't want to talk about it , '' i reply , a little more huffily than i intend to .
`` ok ... so that either means really good or really bad . ''
`` it 's not really bad , '' i protest .
`` uh-oh . ''
i sigh .
`` it 's just , there 's no ... you know ... '' `` spark ? ''
`` exactly .
i have to tell him soon-i do n't want him to get hurt .
not that i think i 'm breaking his heart or anything- '' `` i saw the way he looks at you . ''
`` meaning ? ''
`` he 's falling fast .
i 'd tell him before he falls any further . ''
`` i think you 're exaggerating . ''
`` trust me . ''
we fall back into a comfortable silence as i think about his words .
the stillness of the river , broken only by a soft wind blowing through the trees , helps to ease my anxiety over the conversation i need to have with greg .
the concept of `` problems '' seems to fade out here , though perhaps it 's the unrelenting heat , which feels like it 's beginning to melt my body into the seat of the kayak .

i ask , immediately hearing stress in her voice .

`` oh , it 's nothing , but pierce wo n't be able to get out of the office long enough to go kayaking today .

i 'm just going to drive down to the office now , so at least he and i can have lunch together . ''

`` ok , should we- '' `` no , you two go kayaking and have fun , alright ?

we 'll see you tonight for dinner . ''

`` oh , alright , if you 're sure , '' i reply , wincing as i catch nate watching me , his muscular torso gleaming in the sun .

`` your dad got caught up in work stuff , and my mom 's going to go meet him at the office for lunch , so they 're not coming .

they said we should still go if we want , '' i explain as i hang up .

`` since we 're here , '' nate says with a shrug .

`` you ever been kayaking here before ? ''

`` never been kayaking at all . ''

`` well , you 'll love it , '' he replies , locking up his car .

`` says the captain of the uva crew team . ''

i smile .

in short order , we 're pushing off the dock in a tandem kayak .

with nate 's powerful oar strokes , we quickly clear the shallow , muddy water and head toward the open water .

`` you 'll get the hang of it , '' nate encourages me , and i turn around to smile sheepishly at him .

`` i think i 'm just holding you back , here , '' i laugh , trying to get the feeling of how to dip the oar in the water at the right time .

`` well , i have a lot more experience than you in a boat , '' he says .

`` we used to train for crew on the potomac in high school , but we were a lot closer in to the city .

we 'd pass georgetown , the kennedy center ... you 'd be amazed at the wildlife you can see out here , though , '' he tells me as he steers us upriver and into the current .

`` i feel so far away from everything , '' i observe as the sounds of traffic are quickly covered up by the trees rising on either side of us .

`` this land used to belong to a native american tribe called the- '' `` piscataway , '' i finish reflexively .

`` damn , i keep forgetting my stepsister is a nerd , '' he says , and i can hear from his voice that he 's grinning .

`` i wo n't even try to impress you with my passion for local history , then . ''

`` no , come on , impress me , '' i tease him .

`` i ca n't hold a candle , '' he feigns defeat .

`` you get better grades than me . ''

`` yeah , well , put me on two varsity teams and i think those grades might dip a little .

i do n't know how you do it .

my friends allison and miriam tell me i spend too much time at the library-i barely have enough time for them .

not to mention , i 'm not athletically gifted at all , '' i add , nodding to my ineffectual rowing .

`` so you 've got me there . ''

`` i met allison on the 4th , right ? ''

`` right . ''

`` but miriam ? ''

`` she 's back home in memphis for the summer .

she 's my other good friend ; she and allison room together . ''

`` why do n't you live with them ? ''

he asks , and i pause to listen to his oars dropping quietly into the water .

`` mm , i thought about it , but i like living alone .

my mom can be ... '' `` what ? ''

he prods me .

`` i 'm trying to think of a more flattering word for needy . ''

`` you can say needy if you want .

i wo n't tell . ''

`` ok , she 's really fucking needy , '' i reply , feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders .

i hardly ever talk about the more negative aspects of my relationship with my mom .

`` honestly , a lot less so since she 's met pierce , though .

sometimes i just feel like i'm- '' `` her mom , '' he finishes for me .

i turn to face him , raising my eyebrows .

`` is it obvious ? ''

i ask worriedly .

`` i do n't mean to sound resentful . ''

`` you 're allowed to feel however you want about her , '' he responds with a kind smile , and i turn back around .

`` at first i thought you were fragile , '' he says after a moment .

`` like if i dropped you , you 'd break .

i think that 's why ... that 's why i wanted to test you a little . ''

`` you mean when you felt me up at dinner with our parents sitting across from us ? ''

he laughs .

`` i ca n't believe i did that , and i do n't think i 've ever apologized . ''

`` no , you did n't , jerk . ''

`` i am sorry . ''

`` so , you do n't think i 'm fragile now ? ''

`` no .

i think you 're one of the toughest people i 've ever met .

look ! ''

he says suddenly .

i glance back toward him and follow where 's he 's pointing .

`` a great blue heron , '' he explains as i spot the huge bird with its wings spread , perched on a rock in the middle of the river .

`` that 's how they dry their feathers after they dive for fish . ''

he stops rowing for a while as we watch it .

suddenly it pulls its wings in , gathers itself like a coil , and launches into the air .

we watch it fly into the distant treetops before we begin paddling up the river again .

`` why are you interested in history ? ''

i ask him .

`` i like understanding why people behave the way they do , '' he explains quietly .

i resist the urge to ask how this relates to his own history , trying to respect the boundaries he 's put up .

`` how 's greg ? ''

he asks suddenly .

i turn around and narrow my eyes at him .

`` what ?

that 's a friendly question , '' he says with a devilish grin .

`` i ... i do n't want to talk about it , '' i reply , a little more huffily than i intend to .

`` ok ... so that either means really good or really bad . ''

`` it 's not really bad , '' i protest .

`` uh-oh . ''

i sigh .

`` it 's just , there 's no ... you know ... '' `` spark ? ''

`` exactly .

i have to tell him soon-i do n't want him to get hurt .

not that i think i 'm breaking his heart or anything- '' `` i saw the way he looks at you . ''

`` meaning ? ''

`` he 's falling fast .

i 'd tell him before he falls any further . ''

`` i think you 're exaggerating . ''

`` trust me . ''

we fall back into a comfortable silence as i think about his words .

the stillness of the river , broken only by a soft wind blowing through the trees , helps to ease my anxiety over the conversation i need to have with greg .

the concept of `` problems '' seems to fade out here , though perhaps it 's the unrelenting heat , which feels like it 's beginning to melt my body into the seat of the kayak .