JackBAI/bert_pretrain_datasets · Datasets at Hugging Face

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when pesh remained silent , megan tentatively asked , `` did she die in childbirth ? ''
he shook his head .
`` no , we never got that far .
we tried for over a year to get pregnant on our own , and it did n't happen .
so we were recommended to a fertility clinic .
once the iui process did n't work , we started ivf . ''
a ragged sigh came from deep in his chest .
`` the whole process was physically trying and then emotionally gutting for both of us , but especially for jade . ''
he met her gaze .
`` she blamed herself since the testing revealed that everything was fine with me .
although we were labeled as 'non-specific infertility , ' she felt that it was all her fault . ''
`` bless her heart , '' megan murmured , as her heart went out to a woman she 'd never met .
getting pregnant had been so easy for her .
although mason was n't necessarily expected , he had never been unwanted in her eyes .
but she knew what infertility did to a woman when she saw it ravage her father 's sister .
although her aunt was now the happy and doting mother of two adopted girls , she knew the emotional toil not getting pregnant had taken .
megan , herself , had once been the recipient of her aunt 's childless pain when she had announced her pregnancy with mason .
still without answers as to how jade had died , megan pressed pesh for more .
`` so what happened with the ivf ? ''
`` she got pregnant on the first transfer only to miscarry three weeks later .
we had just been through another transfer when she died . ''
pesh 's adam 's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard .
megan could only imagine he was trying to keep his emotions in check .
finally , he spoke again .
`` she had an embolism most likely brought on by the fertility medication .
i was in the kitchen making breakfast when i heard a crash in the bedroom . ''
tears pooled in his eyes .
`` when i called her name and she did n't answer , i ran back to her .
she was crumpled on the bedroom floor .
after calling 911 , i did cpr over and over again , but i could never revive her . ''
`` oh pesh , '' megan murmured .
the weight of his pain was so heavy that even she found it hard to breathe .
without looking at her , he continued staring straight ahead .
`` from what the medical examiner said , i have some peace in knowing she did n't suffer-that she went quickly without any fear or pain .
one minute she was getting ready for work , and the next she was gone . ''
`` it 's true that there is some peace , especially the fact she did n't know she was going to die .
sometimes i ca n't imagine what it must be like for terminal patients . ''
she shuddered .
`` when you wonder if every day is your last , when you have to think about all you 're going to miss . ''
`` yes , that is true , '' he said , in a hushed whisper .
when he finally turned to look at her , he gave her a sad smile .
`` it 's been two years .
every time i think i 've moved on , that i 've been able to compartmentalize my grief , a case comes through that brings me to my knees . ''
`` i 'm so sorry , '' megan murmured , bringing her hand up to cup his cheek .
he leaned his face into her hand .
his head bowed until their foreheads met .
`` you have to remember that no matter what happened to your wife , and to mary , it was n't your fault .
you were n't responsible .
you need to keep living .
you 're alive . ''
tilting her head up , she gazed into his dark brown eyes .
`` you 're alive , '' she repeated .
the rain began to fall harder .
her eyelids fluttered to keep the moisture out of her eyes as she gazed up at him .
his mouth hovered next to hers , his breath warming her cheek .
she could barely breathe in that moment .
it was like every molecule in her body was pulsing with need .
silently , she pleaded with her eyes for him to kiss her .
and then , after what felt like an eternity , he slid his lips over hers .
it was n't the first time she had kissed him-it was just the first time she was sober and had kissed him .
now her senses were heightened , and she could experience exactly what she was feeling .
his lips were tender and soft at first , and then they switched over to desperate and demanding .
it was like he was breathing her in with every brush of his lips and stroke of his tongue as if to prove to himself that he truly was alive .
his tongue danced along hers , causing her to moan .
he brought his hands up to cup her face while her arms went around his chest , pulling him closer to her .
drops of rain pelted her head and ran down her cheeks while pesh 's white coat grew moist as she ran her hands up and down his back .
she realized , in a dizzying flurry , that no man had ever kissed her like this before .
this was like lovemaking with their mouths , and she never wanted it to end .
when pesh finally tore his lips from hers , megan 's breaths came in heaving pants .
her eyes opened to stare up at him .
his expression turned from lust to anguish .
he shook his head .
`` i 'm sorry . ''
`` pesh , you don't- '' he held up his hand .
`` please , just go . ''
he turned away from her , wrapping his arms around his chest .
torn , megan did n't know if she should argue with him and stay or leave .
`` please , '' he whispered .
with her heart still beating wildly from their passionate lip-lock , she turned and fled .
as she pounded back down the stairs , her emotions yo-yoed to where she felt like a watch that had been wound too tight .
after bursting back through the door , kristi met her in the hallway .
her eyes widened at megan 's appearance .
`` i , uh , i went outside on my dinner break , and it started raining , '' megan lied .
`` next time you 'll have to remember your umbrella , '' kristi replied .
megan nodded .
`` yeah , i will . ''
`` why do n't you go to the break room ?
there 's a hair dryer under the sink .
when you finish drying off , i could really use you in the supply closet doing inventory .
seems like we always almost run out of everything at once . ''
`` sure .
i can do that . ''
as megan turned to go down the hallway , kristi reached out and grabbed her arm .
`` is he okay ? ''
megan bit down on her lip to keep a hysterical laugh from escaping .
was pesh okay ?
was she okay ?
who the hell knew ?
one minute he 'd been weeping about his wife and losing a patient , and the next he 'd been liquid passion dripping on her lips .
regardless of his emotional whiplash , she 'd experienced the same .

when pesh remained silent , megan tentatively asked , `` did she die in childbirth ? ''

he shook his head .

`` no , we never got that far .

we tried for over a year to get pregnant on our own , and it did n't happen .

so we were recommended to a fertility clinic .

once the iui process did n't work , we started ivf . ''

a ragged sigh came from deep in his chest .

`` the whole process was physically trying and then emotionally gutting for both of us , but especially for jade . ''

he met her gaze .

`` she blamed herself since the testing revealed that everything was fine with me .

although we were labeled as 'non-specific infertility , ' she felt that it was all her fault . ''

`` bless her heart , '' megan murmured , as her heart went out to a woman she 'd never met .

getting pregnant had been so easy for her .

although mason was n't necessarily expected , he had never been unwanted in her eyes .

but she knew what infertility did to a woman when she saw it ravage her father 's sister .

although her aunt was now the happy and doting mother of two adopted girls , she knew the emotional toil not getting pregnant had taken .

megan , herself , had once been the recipient of her aunt 's childless pain when she had announced her pregnancy with mason .

still without answers as to how jade had died , megan pressed pesh for more .

`` so what happened with the ivf ? ''

`` she got pregnant on the first transfer only to miscarry three weeks later .

we had just been through another transfer when she died . ''

pesh 's adam 's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard .

megan could only imagine he was trying to keep his emotions in check .

finally , he spoke again .

`` she had an embolism most likely brought on by the fertility medication .

i was in the kitchen making breakfast when i heard a crash in the bedroom . ''

tears pooled in his eyes .

`` when i called her name and she did n't answer , i ran back to her .

she was crumpled on the bedroom floor .

after calling 911 , i did cpr over and over again , but i could never revive her . ''

`` oh pesh , '' megan murmured .

the weight of his pain was so heavy that even she found it hard to breathe .

without looking at her , he continued staring straight ahead .

`` from what the medical examiner said , i have some peace in knowing she did n't suffer-that she went quickly without any fear or pain .

one minute she was getting ready for work , and the next she was gone . ''

`` it 's true that there is some peace , especially the fact she did n't know she was going to die .

sometimes i ca n't imagine what it must be like for terminal patients . ''

she shuddered .

`` when you wonder if every day is your last , when you have to think about all you 're going to miss . ''

`` yes , that is true , '' he said , in a hushed whisper .

when he finally turned to look at her , he gave her a sad smile .

`` it 's been two years .

every time i think i 've moved on , that i 've been able to compartmentalize my grief , a case comes through that brings me to my knees . ''

`` i 'm so sorry , '' megan murmured , bringing her hand up to cup his cheek .

he leaned his face into her hand .

his head bowed until their foreheads met .

`` you have to remember that no matter what happened to your wife , and to mary , it was n't your fault .

you were n't responsible .

you need to keep living .

you 're alive . ''

tilting her head up , she gazed into his dark brown eyes .

`` you 're alive , '' she repeated .

the rain began to fall harder .

her eyelids fluttered to keep the moisture out of her eyes as she gazed up at him .

his mouth hovered next to hers , his breath warming her cheek .

she could barely breathe in that moment .

it was like every molecule in her body was pulsing with need .

silently , she pleaded with her eyes for him to kiss her .

and then , after what felt like an eternity , he slid his lips over hers .

it was n't the first time she had kissed him-it was just the first time she was sober and had kissed him .

now her senses were heightened , and she could experience exactly what she was feeling .

his lips were tender and soft at first , and then they switched over to desperate and demanding .

it was like he was breathing her in with every brush of his lips and stroke of his tongue as if to prove to himself that he truly was alive .

his tongue danced along hers , causing her to moan .

he brought his hands up to cup her face while her arms went around his chest , pulling him closer to her .

drops of rain pelted her head and ran down her cheeks while pesh 's white coat grew moist as she ran her hands up and down his back .

she realized , in a dizzying flurry , that no man had ever kissed her like this before .

this was like lovemaking with their mouths , and she never wanted it to end .

when pesh finally tore his lips from hers , megan 's breaths came in heaving pants .

her eyes opened to stare up at him .

his expression turned from lust to anguish .

he shook his head .

`` i 'm sorry . ''

`` pesh , you don't- '' he held up his hand .

`` please , just go . ''

he turned away from her , wrapping his arms around his chest .

torn , megan did n't know if she should argue with him and stay or leave .

`` please , '' he whispered .

with her heart still beating wildly from their passionate lip-lock , she turned and fled .

as she pounded back down the stairs , her emotions yo-yoed to where she felt like a watch that had been wound too tight .

after bursting back through the door , kristi met her in the hallway .

her eyes widened at megan 's appearance .

`` i , uh , i went outside on my dinner break , and it started raining , '' megan lied .

`` next time you 'll have to remember your umbrella , '' kristi replied .

megan nodded .

`` yeah , i will . ''

`` why do n't you go to the break room ?

there 's a hair dryer under the sink .

when you finish drying off , i could really use you in the supply closet doing inventory .

seems like we always almost run out of everything at once . ''

`` sure .

i can do that . ''

as megan turned to go down the hallway , kristi reached out and grabbed her arm .

`` is he okay ? ''

megan bit down on her lip to keep a hysterical laugh from escaping .

was pesh okay ?

was she okay ?

who the hell knew ?

one minute he 'd been weeping about his wife and losing a patient , and the next he 'd been liquid passion dripping on her lips .

regardless of his emotional whiplash , she 'd experienced the same .