MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

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How come I never hearda you before?	I'm outta Portland. Sonrisa didn't want local talent.
Ass like your, I can see why he's worried you'll punk.	What the hell are you doing?
What the hell are you doing?	Who's Camille?
Who's Camille?	None of your business.
None of your business.	This won't hurt. Triple dose of insulin, you'll go into a coma, couple minutes you'll stop breathing and on a busy night, the coroner will probably mistake it for an O.D. Plus, it's way classier than blowin' your brains out.
How're ya doin', Max.	You mean until you showed up?
You mean until you showed up?	You're not still pissed?
Who are you?	My name's Lydia. And it seems you and I have a lot in common.
My name's Lydia. And it seems you and I have a lot in common.	You said you knew where my fiance was the other night.
You said you knew where my fiance was the other night.	With me, where he's been after work, three, sometimes four nights a week for the last two months... We have what you might call an intimate relationship.
With me, where he's been after work, three, sometimes four nights a week for the last two months... We have what you might call an intimate relationship.	How do I know you're telling the truth?
How do I know you're telling the truth?	He been sleeping in a T-shirt lately? That's so you won't see the fingernail marks on his back. Bet you didn't know your boyfriend finds a little pain exciting. He didn't either...at first.
He been sleeping in a T-shirt lately? That's so you won't see the fingernail marks on his back. Bet you didn't know your boyfriend finds a little pain exciting. He didn't either...at first.	Look, I don't know what you want--
Look, I don't know what you want--	I thought it was important for you to know the facts.
I thought it was important for you to know the facts.	And so should you. Sketchy told me I could expect a visit from you. I know all about how you threatened him. That if he didn't break it off with me, you'd save him the trouble.
And so should you. Sketchy told me I could expect a visit from you. I know all about how you threatened him. That if he didn't break it off with me, you'd save him the trouble.	Oh?
Oh?	Well, it's over between you and him. We're getting married next month.
Well, it's over between you and him. We're getting married next month.	How sweet. Standing by your man, even after what he did. You're a very understanding person.
How sweet. Standing by your man, even after what he did. You're a very understanding person.	Big part of loving someone's being able to forgive them.
Big part of loving someone's being able to forgive them.	You're also a fool.
You're also a fool.	I think you should go now.
I think you should go now.	Not before we get something straight you prissy little bitch. I decide when I'm done with your boyfriend. Not him, and certainly not you. Unless maybe you want to find out just how sharp these nails really are.
Tell me the truth. Am I a female fog bank?	You're not seriously buying into Darren's nonsense.
You're not seriously buying into Darren's nonsense.	No.
No.	He was just trying to blame you 'cause he's a slut.
He was just trying to blame you 'cause he's a slut.	Yeah.
Yeah.	Hell yeah. There's not the slightest grain of truth in anything that idiot was saying. You are a totally down-ass female and a straight-up friend who happens to be a little...
Hell yeah. There's not the slightest grain of truth in anything that idiot was saying. You are a totally down-ass female and a straight-up friend who happens to be a little...	A little what?
A little what?	You know what I'm saying.
You know what I'm saying.	If I knew what you were saying, I wouldn't be asking.
If I knew what you were saying, I wouldn't be asking.	How long you and me known each other?
How long you and me known each other?	A long time.
A long time.	Long enough for you to pretty much read me like a book, right?
Long enough for you to pretty much read me like a book, right?	Because you're probably my closest friend in the whole world.
Because you're probably my closest friend in the whole world.	And back at ya. Only there's a part of you that's... I don't know--
And back at ya. Only there's a part of you that's... I don't know--	A fog bank.
A fog bank.	More like a mystery... Which isn't bad. It's just kinduv...mysterious...
You're actually gonna bail Sketchy out.	Yeah, 'cause maybe he's learned his lesson.
Yeah, 'cause maybe he's learned his lesson.	Unlikely.
Unlikely.	And because he's my friend.
And because he's my friend.	Friends don't help other friends cheat.
Friends don't help other friends cheat.	And because I actually kinda feel sorry for guys sometimes.
And because I actually kinda feel sorry for guys sometimes.	Please...
Please...	They're prisoners to their genes.
They're prisoners to their genes.	So are dogs.
So are dogs.	They don't have a lot of moving parts.
They don't have a lot of moving parts.	Only one I can think of.
Only one I can think of.	Besides, think of the drama I'm sparing Natalie.
Besides, think of the drama I'm sparing Natalie.	I say hang the bastard out to dry, let her see him for the heel he is, then maybe she'll step to the all-girl team and let mama-licious ease her pain.
I say hang the bastard out to dry, let her see him for the heel he is, then maybe she'll step to the all-girl team and let mama-licious ease her pain.	But, of course, there's nothing self- serving in that scenario.
Don't believe everything you hear on TV.	What if he's on the level?
What if he's on the level?	Here's the dealio on Eyes Only. He's probably some wack rich dude sitting around in a trick-ass apartment, bored stupid. So he gets off on scarin' the poop outta folks like you-- I gotta go.
Here's the dealio on Eyes Only. He's probably some wack rich dude sitting around in a trick-ass apartment, bored stupid. So he gets off on scarin' the poop outta folks like you-- I gotta go.	Tell everybody hey.
Tell everybody hey.	You can tell 'em yourself tomorrow.
You blew off your girlfriend last night, even though it was the big one-oh. I'd be pissed off too if I was her.	Not half as pissed as she's gonna be when she finds out why I blew her off... I need your help, Max.
So you're straight on how this is gonna go down.	You set up on Lydia. When she's on her way over to the apartment you give me the heads up. I answer the door and pretend to be Natalie.
You set up on Lydia. When she's on her way over to the apartment you give me the heads up. I answer the door and pretend to be Natalie.	She tells you how I've been--
She tells you how I've been--	--a philandering pig.
--a philandering pig.	But you explain that you're a compassionate and understanding person who can find it in your heart to forgive me.
But you explain that you're a compassionate and understanding person who can find it in your heart to forgive me.	Or, I dissolve into an angry, hysterical wreck who never wants to see your lying ass again, which is probably what would really happen.
Or, I dissolve into an angry, hysterical wreck who never wants to see your lying ass again, which is probably what would really happen.	I just don't want Natalie to ever find out. She deserves better.
I just don't want Natalie to ever find out. She deserves better.	How'd you get her out of town?
How'd you get her out of town?	Convinced her she needed to visit her mom in San Mateo.
Convinced her she needed to visit her mom in San Mateo.	And we're sure Lydia's gonna make her move?
And we're sure Lydia's gonna make her move?	She came by the apartment once already. Fortunately, I'd disconnected the doorbell as a precaution... Lydia's not gonna back off until she gets her pound of flesh.
She came by the apartment once already. Fortunately, I'd disconnected the doorbell as a precaution... Lydia's not gonna back off until she gets her pound of flesh.	I'll give it my best shot.
I'll give it my best shot.	Max, what did I do to deserve a friend like you?
Max, what did I do to deserve a friend like you?	You don't.
Hot run to 842 Beulah, corner of Haight... And you can tell your pal Theo he just got his worthless ass fired. Not that he cares but the wife and kid might.	Theo's dead.
What the hell is that?	Gin.
Gin.	Whoa. Some of this hard liquor's a tad too manly for me. I'm a brewski man myself.
Whoa. Some of this hard liquor's a tad too manly for me. I'm a brewski man myself.	Better ease up then, Hawk. Wouldn't want to give you whiskey dick would we?
Better ease up then, Hawk. Wouldn't want to give you whiskey dick would we?	Who's Whiskey Dick?
Oh, Dicky, I c-c-can't...	You're not gonna chicken out on me now, are you? We've got your KISS song playing and everything.
You're not gonna chicken out on me now, are you? We've got your KISS song playing and everything.	I-I c-can't...
I-I c-can't...	Look, people undress in public because, A, they're exhibitionists, B, they're nutcases, or C, they need the money. I can tell you're not A, and I hope to hell you're not B. So my suggestion is, think about why you're a C and let your body party, shake your groove thing, boogie oogie oogie till you just can't boogie no more.
I feel like such an idiot. Why didn't I just say something a year and a half ago? Man, think of how much time we wasted.	Let's not think about the past. Let's just think about from today on. I'll never forget you, Jam.
Let's not think about the past. Let's just think about from today on. I'll never forget you, Jam.	Tell me about it. Church will never be the same again.
Tease? What the hell did I do to tease you mongoloids?	You got in the car, didn't you?
You got in the car, didn't you?	Oh, God, how calculating of me to lead you all on like that after you offered me a ride in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, God, how calculating of me to lead you all on like that after you offered me a ride in the middle of nowhere.	Whatever... stella.
Well, the least we, his only buds in the world, can do is take him along with us tonight and give him one last curl before he starts serving his sentence.	Just for the record, I understood the last part of what you said, but for a while there you guys were making no fucking sense whatsoever.
Just for the record, I understood the last part of what you said, but for a while there you guys were making no fucking sense whatsoever.	I was just explaining to Lex here what you and I already know. Just had to make it a little more complicated so he'd understand.
Too bad we're stuck in electronics or...	Never mind with the too bad shit. I got a crazy plan, but only the craziest among us can pull it off.
But... but, St. Bernard's is way the hell over in the next county!	So? Your mom's car has a CB, radar detector and cruise control, check?
So? Your mom's car has a CB, radar detector and cruise control, check?	We are not stealing my mom's car.
We are not stealing my mom's car.	Damn straight we are.
Damn straight we are.	Hawk, all I need is one ding on the Volvo and presto! There are my balls hanging from the rearview mirror after she gets back from Cincinnati.
Hawk, all I need is one ding on the Volvo and presto! There are my balls hanging from the rearview mirror after she gets back from Cincinnati.	And when is she due back from that groinecologist's convention anyway?
And when is she due back from that groinecologist's convention anyway?	Sunday, but...
Sunday, but...	Then lighten up. She'll never know we touched it. Alright, here's the plan. We bus it to chez Lex, grab the Volvo, bail Jam the hell outta St. Bernard's and arrive at the train station precisely on time for the 2:45 to Detroit.
There's only so much trouble an individual can get into till it just doesn't matter anymore, Lex. You familiar with a condition known as Absolute Zero?	The hypothetical temperature characterized by the absence of heat and even the slightest amount of molecular activity? Yeah, I'm vaguely familiar
The hypothetical temperature characterized by the absence of heat and even the slightest amount of molecular activity? Yeah, I'm vaguely familiar	Well, Jam is in absolute trouble. He couldn't get any deeper into shit if he was a fly sitting in a horse's ass. You know as well as me he'd give his right arm just to see Peter Criss's drum solo, never mind a whole KISS concert, check?
What the fuck!	The paint!
Now listen up. Here's the game plan.	...I mean, my mom's got insurance. What's the worst thing she could do? Ground me for the entire year? I can handle that...
...I mean, my mom's got insurance. What's the worst thing she could do? Ground me for the entire year? I can handle that...	Cool, bro, now listen up...
Cool, bro, now listen up...	...Holy shit! I am in absolute trouble! I never should have let you drive, man! Absolute fuckin' trouble!
...Holy shit! I am in absolute trouble! I never should have let you drive, man! Absolute fuckin' trouble!	Okay, shut the fuck up, Lex! Now, then, step number one, we find us a scalper. I got... twenty-five.
Dude, this is all I got.	Sorry, man, no can do. But I'll be here for a while if you scare up the extra gravy.
Sorry, man, no can do. But I'll be here for a while if you scare up the extra gravy.	Where the hell am I gonna scare up that kinda gravy in one hour?

How come I never hearda you before?

I'm outta Portland. Sonrisa didn't want local talent.

Ass like your, I can see why he's worried you'll punk.

What the hell are you doing?

Who's Camille?

None of your business.

This won't hurt. Triple dose of insulin, you'll go into a coma, couple minutes you'll stop breathing and on a busy night, the coroner will probably mistake it for an O.D. Plus, it's way classier than blowin' your brains out.

How're ya doin', Max.

You mean until you showed up?

You're not still pissed?

Who are you?

My name's Lydia. And it seems you and I have a lot in common.

You said you knew where my fiance was the other night.

With me, where he's been after work, three, sometimes four nights a week for the last two months... We have what you might call an intimate relationship.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

He been sleeping in a T-shirt lately? That's so you won't see the fingernail marks on his back. Bet you didn't know your boyfriend finds a little pain exciting. He didn't either...at first.

Look, I don't know what you want--

I thought it was important for you to know the facts.

And so should you. Sketchy told me I could expect a visit from you. I know all about how you threatened him. That if he didn't break it off with me, you'd save him the trouble.

Oh?

Well, it's over between you and him. We're getting married next month.

How sweet. Standing by your man, even after what he did. You're a very understanding person.

Big part of loving someone's being able to forgive them.

You're also a fool.

I think you should go now.

Not before we get something straight you prissy little bitch. I decide when I'm done with your boyfriend. Not him, and certainly not you. Unless maybe you want to find out just how sharp these nails really are.

Tell me the truth. Am I a female fog bank?

You're not seriously buying into Darren's nonsense.

No.

He was just trying to blame you 'cause he's a slut.

Yeah.

Hell yeah. There's not the slightest grain of truth in anything that idiot was saying. You are a totally down-ass female and a straight-up friend who happens to be a little...

A little what?

You know what I'm saying.

If I knew what you were saying, I wouldn't be asking.

How long you and me known each other?

A long time.

Long enough for you to pretty much read me like a book, right?

Because you're probably my closest friend in the whole world.

And back at ya. Only there's a part of you that's... I don't know--

A fog bank.

More like a mystery... Which isn't bad. It's just kinduv...mysterious...

You're actually gonna bail Sketchy out.

Yeah, 'cause maybe he's learned his lesson.

Unlikely.

And because he's my friend.

Friends don't help other friends cheat.

And because I actually kinda feel sorry for guys sometimes.

Please...

They're prisoners to their genes.

So are dogs.

They don't have a lot of moving parts.

Only one I can think of.

Besides, think of the drama I'm sparing Natalie.

I say hang the bastard out to dry, let her see him for the heel he is, then maybe she'll step to the all-girl team and let mama-licious ease her pain.

But, of course, there's nothing self- serving in that scenario.

Don't believe everything you hear on TV.

What if he's on the level?

Here's the dealio on Eyes Only. He's probably some wack rich dude sitting around in a trick-ass apartment, bored stupid. So he gets off on scarin' the poop outta folks like you-- I gotta go.

Tell everybody hey.

You can tell 'em yourself tomorrow.

You blew off your girlfriend last night, even though it was the big one-oh. I'd be pissed off too if I was her.

Not half as pissed as she's gonna be when she finds out why I blew her off... I need your help, Max.

So you're straight on how this is gonna go down.

You set up on Lydia. When she's on her way over to the apartment you give me the heads up. I answer the door and pretend to be Natalie.

She tells you how I've been--

--a philandering pig.

But you explain that you're a compassionate and understanding person who can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Or, I dissolve into an angry, hysterical wreck who never wants to see your lying ass again, which is probably what would really happen.

I just don't want Natalie to ever find out. She deserves better.

How'd you get her out of town?

Convinced her she needed to visit her mom in San Mateo.

And we're sure Lydia's gonna make her move?

She came by the apartment once already. Fortunately, I'd disconnected the doorbell as a precaution... Lydia's not gonna back off until she gets her pound of flesh.

I'll give it my best shot.

Max, what did I do to deserve a friend like you?

You don't.

Hot run to 842 Beulah, corner of Haight... And you can tell your pal Theo he just got his worthless ass fired. Not that he cares but the wife and kid might.

Theo's dead.

What the hell is that?

Gin.

Whoa. Some of this hard liquor's a tad too manly for me. I'm a brewski man myself.

Better ease up then, Hawk. Wouldn't want to give you whiskey dick would we?

Who's Whiskey Dick?

Oh, Dicky, I c-c-can't...

You're not gonna chicken out on me now, are you? We've got your KISS song playing and everything.

I-I c-can't...

Look, people undress in public because, A, they're exhibitionists, B, they're nutcases, or C, they need the money. I can tell you're not A, and I hope to hell you're not B. So my suggestion is, think about why you're a C and let your body party, shake your groove thing, boogie oogie oogie till you just can't boogie no more.

I feel like such an idiot. Why didn't I just say something a year and a half ago? Man, think of how much time we wasted.

Let's not think about the past. Let's just think about from today on. I'll never forget you, Jam.

Tell me about it. Church will never be the same again.

Tease? What the hell did I do to tease you mongoloids?

You got in the car, didn't you?

Oh, God, how calculating of me to lead you all on like that after you offered me a ride in the middle of nowhere.

Whatever... stella.

Well, the least we, his only buds in the world, can do is take him along with us tonight and give him one last curl before he starts serving his sentence.

Just for the record, I understood the last part of what you said, but for a while there you guys were making no fucking sense whatsoever.

I was just explaining to Lex here what you and I already know. Just had to make it a little more complicated so he'd understand.

Too bad we're stuck in electronics or...

Never mind with the too bad shit. I got a crazy plan, but only the craziest among us can pull it off.

But... but, St. Bernard's is way the hell over in the next county!

So? Your mom's car has a CB, radar detector and cruise control, check?

We are not stealing my mom's car.

Damn straight we are.

Hawk, all I need is one ding on the Volvo and presto! There are my balls hanging from the rearview mirror after she gets back from Cincinnati.

And when is she due back from that groinecologist's convention anyway?

Sunday, but...

Then lighten up. She'll never know we touched it. Alright, here's the plan. We bus it to chez Lex, grab the Volvo, bail Jam the hell outta St. Bernard's and arrive at the train station precisely on time for the 2:45 to Detroit.

There's only so much trouble an individual can get into till it just doesn't matter anymore, Lex. You familiar with a condition known as Absolute Zero?

The hypothetical temperature characterized by the absence of heat and even the slightest amount of molecular activity? Yeah, I'm vaguely familiar

Well, Jam is in absolute trouble. He couldn't get any deeper into shit if he was a fly sitting in a horse's ass. You know as well as me he'd give his right arm just to see Peter Criss's drum solo, never mind a whole KISS concert, check?

What the fuck!

The paint!

Now listen up. Here's the game plan.

...I mean, my mom's got insurance. What's the worst thing she could do? Ground me for the entire year? I can handle that...

Cool, bro, now listen up...

...Holy shit! I am in absolute trouble! I never should have let you drive, man! Absolute fuckin' trouble!

Okay, shut the fuck up, Lex! Now, then, step number one, we find us a scalper. I got... twenty-five.

Dude, this is all I got.

Sorry, man, no can do. But I'll be here for a while if you scare up the extra gravy.

Where the hell am I gonna scare up that kinda gravy in one hour?