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I'm not staring at your boobs hun..I'm looking at your heart #relax | 0non_irony
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#YouAndIBackToYoutube WHAT???!WHY???!! ITS CHRISTMAS! ITS FORBIDDEN TO DO SUCH TERRIBILE THINGS! GIVE IT BACK TO US! @user | 0non_irony
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How do we end up talking? ..oh wait..we don't talk..whooops #cutestcouple | 1irony
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Aaand the hits just keep on coming. #BadDay | 0non_irony
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Didnt have no time to wake and bake this mornin winnin 😡🙅 | 0non_irony
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@user 's twitter game is perfect tonight! #amazingness | 0non_irony
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@user #InkRivals ok,we all know Cleen is going to win, lets just end it. Not exciting. AMEN TO THAT | 0non_irony
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@user @user I expected some sort of apple quip but that's why you guys do the jokes and I do the news tbh | 0non_irony
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Check out my new post! MyFairDaily: 10 Things I've Been Loving Lately #lbloggers #holidays #myfairdaily #favorites | 0non_irony
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It's not possible to have enough time | 0non_irony
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@user you wearing the pin I sent for the rest of the video yesterday made my day. #daymade #addicted | 0non_irony
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Climate change redux: CALIFORNIANS experience drought & voted for bonds to cover.Climate changed &now we have most rain in 100 years. | 1irony
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Putin praising Constitutional Court for defending against 'arbitrary action on the part of the government | 1irony
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Perfect time to get really sick 😫😷 | 1irony
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Hey, @user DenialCSGO decided that they want to replace @user and I'm their new player. #NAShuffle Nobody is safe. #CSGO | 1irony
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Here comes the universe. #TMLtalk #Leafs | 0non_irony
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I had the best New Years!!!! Spent it with the people I love & I fucking loved it! 😍 Such a happy camper right now! 😝💚❤️ | 0non_irony
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@user Why? He has draft pick compensation tied to his name and is only six months younger. | 0non_irony
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2a TL shows Lester's 6/$155m deal's a hit Boston - Wish all announcements were made when parties involved least coherent #Notsarcasm | 1irony
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replurks acatholicprayer: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner! #Catholic #prayer | 0non_irony
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Thank you Aidyn and Adele for getting me sick. | 1irony
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@user Hey #Russia ! MAKE MONEY #TWEETING YET?||http://t.co/Q2WB7riAvK <-This #FOXNews Clip explains how||https://t.co/cpJZkEgNe7 | 0non_irony
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ï"?#Depression and #Abuse are sadly a part of many people's testimonies My Monster of a secret: #DamonLeroi | 0non_irony
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Good choice to stay up late, Lys. #study #finalsweek #deathofme | 1irony
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@user I got manually retweeted by Zach Harper. #internetcelebrity | 0non_irony
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Wondering weather to have a few drinks tonight or not 🎅🎁🎁🎄 | 0non_irony
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Fav part abt Xmas day..getting merry Xmas tweets from ppl who NEVER talk to me #kys #idontcare | 1irony
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#your biggest task is to get me to look #how shall one do that? looking #none of them #cleverclogs #shld #know #my #nakhre too | 0non_irony
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Oh this will end well. RT @user Military-Style Tech Finds Way Into School District Safety Measures | 1irony
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@user Saturday at 11:00? Damn...there goes my secret news paraphernalia.... telling | 0non_irony
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Big thanks to my teachers for the FOUR tests I have to take tomorrow #woohoo | 1irony
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But not a grocery store or pharmacy. Sensible. "@GRPress: Offices or apartments? owners of Monroe Avenue factory ponder options" | 1irony
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@user it'll be ok, just get your TA to fix it!! | 1irony
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I am also going to enjoy two beers, while sitting in my car. That is illegal. What was done to me at USC Medical, and at Penn Mar, is. | 0non_irony
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@user isnt it obvious #Sadhvi case and #Rape cases are 2 different things. You cannot co-relate both thngs to 1 sentence | 1irony
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Working cart today..gonna make that money! . 35 golfers all day 😒🔫 | 1irony
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Thanks to #TeamIpswich ED for making the news crew and I so welcome this morning, as they always do. #BlackFriday filming #ItWasQuiet | 1irony
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Yay for another work at 4am day 😐 | 1irony
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Do...or do not. There is no try. - #Yoda "Do. Do not. Try. Try again. Repeat until you get it right." - #JarrodDavis | 0non_irony
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@user Vote-Who is the most underrated actor? jimmy#oters got ter fame im | 0non_irony
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@user Also, I would not that my tone was joking, though it's difficult to properly convey that in a Tweet. | 1irony
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#Net #neutrality: #Cisco, #Intel, #IBM #warn #FCC #to #crack #down #on #ISPs: More than 60 #technology... | 0non_irony
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Plan on using the last 16% of my battery on listening to @user @user get through the day #big☆now | 0non_irony
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Congrats still SASMVT for a good run. Ulitin nalang ulit ang 6-peat next year :) | 0non_irony
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My favorite dreams are the ones where you wake up covered in tears. | 1irony
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@user I guess not. Stop insulting me. | 0non_irony
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Thinking I should lock my phone away for the night: #ifyoudonthaveanythingnicetosaydontsayanythingatall | 0non_irony
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Second major nosebleed of the day has halted my training efforts. Nares, this means war. | 0non_irony
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#indonesian#czech#mix#girl#with#my#boy#elvis#im#single by mcrodyn | 0non_irony
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Yo I got ten squad members in Khajo Chris said as he tears up...|"You ain't a gang member..." Kevin responded |#thuglife | 1irony
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Even Soweto TV didn't bother to show these fvcken awards...useless to the bone..go figure | 0non_irony
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@user How do you score on someone? | 0non_irony
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Long time no see #long#along#time#times#no#see#me#you#i#your#say#hi#hello#want#wanna#to#meet @user | 0non_irony
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Interviewed a turkey & here's what he had to say #Thanksgiving | 0non_irony
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There was a shooting in my old neighborhood where my family lives. Praying everyone is okay and stays safe ❤️ | 0non_irony
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stl.You Will Never Win Again RT @user New Manager? New Striker? New Transfer Committee? (cont) | 0non_irony
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@user and among 8 of #duleepSingh children,none had one! | 1irony
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There was a point where the effort was coming in only one direction. I left and that there was a 180° change in direction | 1irony
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@user another case of away the lads or to put it in song tell me why we don't do north london !! #TyneWeirSunday | 1irony
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@user @user gotta be a joke about tootin a Horn somewhere | 0non_irony
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really not sure I want to be in this place today #SoMuchBadNegativity #SmileYouFuckTards stop dragging my day down !!! | 0non_irony
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We all have them people on Instagram who put the most pointless hashtags #Can #you | 0non_irony
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Woke up crying because of the nightmare I had... gonna be a great day | 1irony
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☊Find out about some of our Hip Hop mixtape promotion packages | 0non_irony
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Good to see Tomas Rosicky playing tdae #ARSvQPR | 0non_irony
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#MIley #Cyrus #Is #The #Bad #Influence – Sources Say Patrick Schwarzenegger Is!: Miley Cyrus has been dating... | 0non_irony
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Prevents blood clots! More like stops blood circulation #SurgicalStockings #attractive | 1irony
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@user how do I give feedback on some food I've just. happy | 0non_irony
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Are sororities upset that their sisters are making their organizations look bad or that the world sees how some of them act?#SororitySisters | 0non_irony
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I can't stop laughing at this. The fact that they specialize in "Viral Marketing" is especially amusing. ... | 1irony
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Most useful algorithm I've learned in class so far is finding a substring by using the fast fourier transform | 1irony
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Worth a read. On #Christians and the persecution they face. #equality #respect #sectarianviolence #countyourblessings | 0non_irony
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I messed up today guys. I thought about work. D: #fail #itsabovemypaygradetocare #stillcare #lesigh | 0non_irony
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i'm 55 and i've believed for most of my life that God only created 1 race @user @user @user @user | 0non_irony
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Wow I feel great | 1irony
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I'm so glad I'm sick today. | #bullcrap | 1irony
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I'm so good at sight singing. | 1irony
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