text
stringlengths 1.96k
5.76k
| author
int64 1
50
|
|---|---|
to america he felt pretty sure he could do something there but so far as his own country was concerned he submitted to the inevitable feeling that his day was done the jew is always triumphant he said as he opened s newspaper next morning and read a full account of the proceedings in the house described with all the colour and of s most there is no doubt a leader on my unhappy position as a fallen but once trusted minister he was right there was a gravely sternly leader wherein the apparently and highly conscientious writer the of those who supported m in his scheme of self the rascal ejaculated as he read if i ever get a fresh start in the united states or south power africa i put him on a and roast him to slow music meanwhile the whole country went mad over the king no man was ever so no man was ever made the centre of more hero worship in all the excitement of a general election the wave of loyalty rose to its height and no candidate that was not ready to follow the lines of reform laid down by the monarch had a ghost of a chance of being returned as a with the of the tax on bread the popular increased were lit on every hill up from every rocky point upon the coast and the nation gave itself entirely up to joy all the long sentiment of the multitude was roused to a fever heat by the story of prince s marriage and he too next to his father became a veritable hero of romance in the eyes of the people for whom love and all to love matters form the most interesting part of life following his announcement in the house the king issued a setting forth the facts of his son s union with one of the islands and the vote of the people for or against the prince as heir apparent to the throne the result of this bold and candid reliance on the nation was one which could never have been foreseen by who are accustomed to with simple facts and who strive to cover up and conceal the too distinct of truth an electric thrill of enthusiasm through the entire country and the unanimous vote of the people was returned to the king in entire favour of the crown prince and his chosen bride perhaps no one was more astonished at this than the king himself he had been prepared for considerable he had been quite sure of opposition on the part of society but society moved for once from its usual selfishness by the boldness and daring of a heroic king had itself entirely on his side and was ready and even anxious to accept in prince a new kind of even if he had chosen to wed a beggar maid and it so chanced that there were many persons who had seen and among these was he had not only seen a vote for love her but known her he had studied her character and qualities and was aware that she possessed one of the most pure and beautiful of womanly souls and though taken by surprise at the discovery that the young sailor she had wedded was no other than the crown prince yet after the experience he had personally gone through with one he could scarcely feel that any news even of the most wonderful kind was so wonderful after all so that as soon as he learned the truth he brought all his enormous following into as regarded the prince s romantic love story and ere long there was not one in the metropolis at least who did not consider the marriage a good thing and likely to even more closely together the harmonious relationship between people and throne and so it chanced that even while the general election was still going on all over the country an incessant popular was made for the instant return of the prince to his native land the papers with suggestions as to the home of the young hero of romance and his bride and professor von mentally giddy with the whirl of events was nevertheless triumphantly elated now that you know everything he said to sir de i hope you are satisfied my jam pot that you spoke of has turned out to be a special for the whole nation i am very much surprised i confess said sir slowly i should hardly have thought such a love story possible in these modern days and i should certainly never have given the nation credit for so much sentiment a nation is always sentimental declared the professor what does a government exist for merely to keep national sentiment in order ministers know well enough that despite the various bills brought in for material advantage and improvement they have always to deal with the imaginative of the rather than their conception of logic for truly the masses have no logic at all they will not stop to count the cost of an army but they will shout themselves hoarse at the sight of the flag the flag is the sentiment the power army is the fact the king has secured all the of the nation on a question of sentiment only but there is this pleasant scientific fact the sentiment is fit to be the mother of kings and that is what i will not say of any born woman i know sir was silent consider our present queen as a mother only he went on beautiful and as a snow peak with the snow shining upon it what of her sons the crown prince is the best of them but he has only been saved from inherited mischief by his love for the other two boys and will probably be selfish sir opened his | 33 |
favoured the king s scheme vaguely ashamed in his own mind of the idea he yet found himself giving way to it now and again as he remembered how she had defended his life not once but twice and how she had often frankly declared her admiration for the heroism and energy of the so called after much perplexed meditation he came at last to one resolve she must be my wife he said his eyes gleaming with a sudden fire of passion and determination combined if as she says she does not love me she must learn to love me then all will be well with her it is possible i may reach still greater heights without her i can do nothing meantime while the results of the election to what was now called the royal government were being daily recorded in all parts of the world and the king himself from a selection of the and most proved men of the time was forming a new the news of these radical changes in the kingdom s affairs spreading rapidly everywhere by cable as news always nowadays reached a certain far corner in one of the most beautiful provinces of india a corner scarcely known to the conventional traveller where in a wondrous palace lent to them by one of the most and kindly oriental a palace surrounded by gardens that might have been a true copy of the prince and the fair of his life were passing a happy hidden away time of perfect repose the evening on which they learned that their own nation demanded their return was like the night of al better than a thousand months all day long the heat had been intense and they had remained indoors enjoying the coolness of marble courts and and fountains but with the sunset a soft breeze had sprung up and passing into the corner of the gardens had laid herself down in a silken swung between two broad power trees and there gently swaying to and fro she watched her husband reading the various european journals that had arrived for his host by that day s mail beautiful always she had grown than ever in these days of rest when love took up the harp of life and smote on all the with might smote the of self that trembling pass d in music out of sight to her native grace she now united a dignity which added to her always gracious and charm and never had she looked more exquisite than now when rocking gently in the suspended of woven silk fringed with silver she rested her head against cushions of the same delicate hue and turned her expressive eyes towards her husband wondering what kept him so silent and what was the cause of the little line of anxiety which his brow clad in a loose robe of white with a simple band of silver clasping it round her form her rich hair caught carelessly back with a knot of scarlet she looked a creature too fair for earth a being all divine and the prince presently turning his glances towards her evidently thought so from the tenderness with which he bent over her and kissed the ripe red smiling lips which so to take the offered caress they want us back my he said the nation asks for me and for you she raised herself a little on one arm do they know all yes the king my father has announced everything concerning our marriage not only to the government but by special to the people i did not think he would be so brave or so true said her eyes darkening and deepening with the intensity of her thought let me read this strange news he gave her the papers and a few tears sparkled on her lashes like diamonds and fell as with a beating heart she read of the complete triumph of the king over the and party of his march with the multitude to the government house of his bold of ending in the utter a vote for love overthrow of a and of his determination to for five years one half his royal in order to personally assist the in the national he is in very truth a king she said looking up with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes surely the noblest in the world prince s face expressed as well as admiration i have been utterly mistaken in him he confessed or else something has greatly changed his ideas i should never have deemed him capable of running so much risk of his position or of showing so much heroism and self sacrifice all my life i have been accustomed to see him more or less indifferent to everything but his own pleasure and more or less careless of the of others but now it seems as if he had kept himself back on purpose only to declare his true character more openly and boldly in the end read on with eagerness and interest till she came to the king s regarding his son s marriage with a daughter of the people she pointed to this expression with the rosy point of her delicate little finger that is me she said i am a daughter of the people i am proud of the name you are my wife said the prince and you are crown princess of the realm she looked meditative i am not sure i like that title so well she said surveying him under the shadow of her long lashes indeed if you were not crown prince i should not like it at all prince smiled and tenderly touched the scarlet passion flowers in her hair but as i am crown prince you will try to put up with it my and he kissed | 33 |
her again we must return home sweetheart and as speedily as possible though i am sorry our honey time is over looked wistfully around her over the long smooth the of and orange the lovely deep gloves of trees and away to the power peaks of the distant dark blue hills over which a great golden moon was slowly rising i am sorry too she said i could live always like this in peace with you far far away from all the world hark she held up her hand to invite attention as the delicious of a or broke the heated silence into liquid melody her lover husband took that little uplifted hand and drawing it in his own kissed it fondly and so for a moment they were very quiet while the little brown bird of music poured from its throat a of heart moving song gradually the golden splendour of the indian moonlight through the trees them in its clear luminous radiance and the two beautiful human creatures gazing into each other s eyes with all the unspeakable rapture of a perfect love touched that wondrous height of pure mutual passion which makes things seem very far off and things eternal very near if life could always be like this murmured we should surely understand god better we should feel that he truly loved us and wished us to love each other ah if only all the world were as happy as i am you will help to make a great part of it so my beloved said the prince you will bring with you into our kingdom comfort for the sorrowful aid to the poor sympathy for the lonely thought for all you will forget nothing that calls for your remembrance my sweet and one nation at least will know what it is to have a true woman s love to light up the darkness of a throne that night a cable message was sent by the prince to his father stating his intention to return home immediately the oriental who had generously placed his palace at the royal lovers disposal and had preserved the secret of their identity and whereabouts being himself much fascinated and interested by the romance of their story now commanded and for their entertainment before their departure and within a fortnight of the despatch of his message the prince s had left the mystic shores of the east and started on its homeward journey the news that the crown prince was returning with i a vote for love his bride set all the country in a flutter of excitement and the general election being concluded and the meeting of the new government being deferred until after the heir apparent s return the people of every city and town and province set themselves busily to work to prepare suitable for the of the royal pair at the islands especially the spirit of enthusiasm was complete all sorts of ideas for and sports and and exercised the minds of the simple folk who were wild with joy at the singular destiny that had befallen their of the sea as they were wont to call the beautiful girl who had grown up among them and the aged was made the centre of their interest and attention even of their but had grown very of late his age began to tell heavily upon him and the news that was returning in all triumph as crown princess moved him but little she would have been happier as a simple sailor s wife he when professor von who visited him constantly sought to rouse him from the into which he appeared to have sunk the greater the position the heavier the burden the more outwardly brilliant the appearance of life the deeper its secret bitterness but has love with her my friend urged the professor and love makes the bitterest things sweet s aged eyes sparkled faintly ay love he echoed a dream a delusion and a unless it be a love strong enough to drag one down to death and then it is the strongest power in the world it is a terror and a and in nothing shall its desire be if it calls even kings obey i chapter between two passions slowly and with hesitating steps mounted the long flight of stairs leading to the quiet which called home here she lived here she had chosen to live ever since had made her as he said the soul of the ideal here since the king had conquered the ideal altogether and had made it a centre did she dwell still though she had now some thoughts of yielding to the child s earnest pleading and taking up her abode with her and her father in a pretty little house in the which since s success as at the opera had been able to afford and to look upon as something like a comfortable dwelling place for with the election of to the dignity of a had of course come the necessity of his old quarters where his meetings had been held and he now resided in a more respectable quarter of the city in such sober yet fashion as became one who was a friend of the king s and who was likely to be a minister some day when he had further proved his political so that had no longer any need to try and out a scanty by letting rooms to and generally and himself had helped him to make a change for the better as had also the king but had not as yet moved she had lived so long among the desperately poor who were accustomed to go to her for sympathy and aid that she could not contemplate leaving so many sick and suffering and sorrowful ones alone to fight their bitter battle so had | 33 |
she said at least to when he had endeavoured to persuade her to establish herself in greater comfort and in a part of the between two passions city which had a better class reputation she had listened to his suggestions with a somewhat melancholy smile once and not so very long ago for you there was no such thing as the better class she said you were wont to declare that rich and poor alike were all one family in the sight of god i have not altered my opinion said a slight flush colouring his cheek but you are a woman and as a woman should have every care and tenderness so should my still poorer sisters she replied and it is for those who have least comfort that comfort should be provided i am perfectly well and happy where i am remembering her fixed ideas on this point there was an uneasy sense of trouble in s mind as he ventured again on what he feared would be a fruitless errand if i could command her he thought inwardly at his own to persuade or lead this woman whose character and will were so much more and strong than his own if i could only exercise some authority over her but i cannot what small debt of gratitude she owed me as a child has long been cleared by her constant work and the assistance she has given to me and unless she will consent to be my wife i know i shall lose her altogether for she will never submit to live on money that she has not earned arrived at the summit of the staircase he had been climbing he knocked at the first door which faced him on the uppermost landing come in said the low sweet voice that had thrilled and comforted so many human souls and entering as he was he saw seated in a low chair near the window rocking a tiny infant so like and meagre that it looked more like a corpse than a living child the mother died last night she said gently in response to his look of she had been struggling against want and sickness for a long time god was merciful in taking her at last the father has to go out all day in search of work r often a vain search so i do what i can for this poor little one and she bent over the forlorn of humanity kissing power its pale small face and pressing it soothingly to her warm full breast she looked quite beautiful in that attitude of protection and love her gold hair drooping against the slim whiteness of her throat her deep blue eyes full of that tenderness for the and weak which is the loveliest of all womanly expressions drew a chair opposite to her and sat down you are always doing good he said with a slight tremor in his voice there is no day in your life without its record of help to the helpless she shook her head and went on caressing and soothing the tiny babe in silence after a pause he spoke again i have come to you to ask you many things she looked up with a little smile do you need advice nay surely not you have passed beyond it you are a great man he moved impatiently great what do you mean i am for the city it is true but that is not the height of my ambition it is only a step towards it to what do you she a place in the you will get that if you wait long enough and then will you be satisfied no i shall never be satisfied never till he broke off and shifted his position his fierce eyes rested tenderly upon her as she sat holding the infant in her arms you have heard the latest news he asked presently that has left the country no i have not heard that said but why was he allowed to go without being punished for his to punish him would have involved the punishment of many more associated with him replied his estates are the opportunity was given him to escape in order to avoid further and he has taken the chance afforded him she was silent too has gone pursued he has sold i between two passions his paper to his chief rival so that now both journals are under one head and work for the same cause our cause and the king s looked up with a slight smile it is the same old system then she said for whereas before there was one newspaper by a there are now two by the royal government with which the party is united he frowned you mistake we shall no newspaper whatever we shall not pursue any such mistaken policy believe me you will be compelled to do so she declared still smiling or some other force will step in do you not see that politics always in the same monotonous round you have called me the soul of an ideal but even when i worked my hardest with you i knew it was an ideal that could never be but the practice of your theories led me among the poor where i felt i could be useful and for this reason i what brains i had what strength i had with yours yet no matter how men talk of revolution any and every form of government is bound to run on the old eternal lines whether it be imperial or republican men are always the same children never satisfied ever for change tired of one toy and crying for another so on and on till the end i would rather save a life and | 33 |
she glanced down upon the sleeping infant she held than upset a throne i quite believe that said slowly you are a woman most womanly if you could only learn to love he paused startled at the sudden rush of colour that spread over her cheeks and brow but it was a wave of crimson that soon died away leaving her very pale love is not for me she said i am no longer young besides the days of romance never existed for me at all and now it is too late i have grown too much into the habit of looking upon men as poor little up and down the same tiny hill of earth their passions their their emotions power their and their and pride do not interest me though they move me to pity i seem to stand alone looking beyond straight through the glorious world of nature up to the infinite spaces above searching for god yet you care for that said with a gesture towards the child she held because it is helpless she answered only that if it ever lives to grow up and be a man it will forget that a woman ever held it or cherished it so no wild beast of the forest no treacherous serpent of is more cruel in its inherited nature than man when he with woman as lover he her as wife he her as he forgets her you have a bad opinion of my sex said half angrily would you say thus much of the king she started then controlled herself the king is brave but beyond exceptional courage i do not think he from other men have you seen him lately no the answer came coldly and with evident resentment at the hesitated a minute or two looking at her then he suddenly laid his hand on her arm he said in a half whisper if you would only love me if you would be my wife she raised her dark blue pensive eyes my poor with all your triumphs do you still for a weed alas the weed has tough roots that cannot be pulled up to please you i would make you happy if i could dear friend but in the way you ask i cannot his heart beat thickly why why ask why the rain will not melt marble into snow i love you but not with such love as you demand and i would not be your wife for all the world he restrained himself with difficulty again why she gave a slight movement of impatience between two passions in the first place because we should not agree in the second place because i the very idea of marriage i see day by day what marriage means even among the poor the wreck of illusions the death of the despairing monotony of a mere struggle to live i shall not be poor now said all my work would be to make you happy i would surround you with every grace and luxury with love with worship with tenderness with your intelligence and fascination you would be honoured famous he broke off interrupted by her gesture of annoyance let me hear no more of this she said you were very good to me when i was a child and i do not forget it but you must not urge a claim upon me to which i cannot respond i have given some of the best years of my life to assist your work to win you your followers and to advance what i have always recognised as an exalted though impossible creed but now for the rest of the time left to me i must have my own way he sprang up suddenly and confronted her my god he cried is it possible you do not understand all my work all my plans all my and has been for you to make you happy to give you high place and power without you what do i care for the world what do i care whether men are rich or poor whether they starve or die it is you i want to serve you it is for your sake i have desired to win honour and position have pity on me have pity i have seen you grow up to womanhood i have loved every inch of your stature every hair of the gold on your head every glance of your eyes every bright flash of your intelligent spirit oh i have loved you and love you as no man ever loved woman everything i have attempted everything i have done has been that you might think me of love for the country and the people i care nothing nothing i only care for you she rose holding the sleeping child to her like a shield her features seemed to have grown rigid with an coldness power so then she said you are no better than the men you have blamed you confess yourself as false to the people as the minister you have you have served their cause not because you love them but simply because you love me and you would force me to become your wife not because you love me so much as you love yourself self alone is at the core of your social creed why you are not a whit higher than the that ever stole a people s trade to further his own ends he cried stung to the quick you judge me by heaven you do i judge you only by your own words she answered steadily they condemn you more than i do i thought you were sincere in your love for the people i thought your work was all for them | 33 |
not for me i judged that you sought to gain authority in order to remedy their many wrongs but if after all you have been fighting your way to power merely to make yourself as you thought more acceptable to me as a husband you have deceived me in the honesty of your intentions as as you have deceived the king the king he cried the king she flashed a proud and passionate glance upon him and then he suddenly found himself alone she had left the room and though he knew there was only one wall one door between them he dared not follow glancing around him at the simple furniture of the chamber he stood in which though only an was bright and fresh and sweet with of set here and there in simple and cheap crystal he sighed heavily the poor and obscure life was perhaps after all the highest and best all at once his eyes lighted on one large cluster of flowers that were neither wild nor common a knot of rare roses and magnificent tied together with a golden ribbon he looked at them and his soul was assailed by sudden resentment and suspicion his face changed his teeth closed hard on his under lip and he clenched his hand unconsciously if it is so if it should be so he muttered there may be yet another and more complete day of fate between two passions he left the room then descending the stairs more rapidly than he had climbed them and as he went out of the house and up the street he stumbled against paul whither away brave cried this being whither away to rescue the poor and the afflicted or to stop the king from on your own preserves with a force of which he was himself unconscious he by the arm what do you mean he whispered thickly speak what do you know laughed what do i know he echoed why what should i know save what all who have eyes to see know as well as i do your grasp is none of the let me go then as the other s hand fell from his arm he continued it is you who are the blind man leading the blind you who like all thick can never perceive what goes on under your own nose but what does it matter what does anything matter i told you long ago she would never love you i knew long ago that she loved his majesty curse you said suddenly in such low accents that the oath sounded more like a wild beast s why did you not tell me why did you not warn me shrugged his shoulders and began to along the you would not have believed me he said nobody believes anything that is unpleasant to themselves if you had not some suspicion in your own mind you would not believe me now i am foolish you are wise i am a poet you are a i am drunk you are sober and with it all is the only one who keeps her head clear was always the creature of common sense among us she understood you she understood me and better than either of us she understood the king no no whispered more to himself than his companion she could not she could not have known power now you look as nature meant you to look exclaimed staring wildly at him savage as a bear pitiless as a snake god what men can become when they are of their desires but it is no use my you have gained power in one direction but you have lost it in another you cannot have your cake and eat it here he against the wall then himself with a curious effort at dignity he continued leave her alone leave in peace she is a good soul let her love where she will and how she will she has the right to choose her lover the right by heaven it is a right denied to no woman and if she has chosen the king she is only one of many who have done the same with a smothered sound between a curse and a groan suddenly wheeled round away from him and left him vaguely surprised yet too to that his rambling words might have worked serious mischief gazed on his retreating figure the same old story he muttered with a foolish laugh always a woman in it he has won and power he has secured the friendship of a king but if the king is his rival in matters of love ah that is a worse danger for the throne than the spread of he off and gave the only part of him which remained active his poetic instinct up to the composition of a delicate love song which he wrote between two and several drinks late in the afternoon just after a small close drove up to the comer of the street where stood the house divided into several separate in which the where dwelt was one of the most solitary and removed portions the king alighted from the carriage unobserved and ascended the stairs on which s steps had echoed but a few hours gone by knocking at the door as had done he was in the same way to enter but as he did so who was seated within quite alone started up with a faint cry of terror you here she exclaimed in trembling accents oh between two passions why why have you come sir i beg of you to leave this place at once before there is any chance of your being seen your majesty should surely know majesty me no said the king lightly i have | 33 |
been forbidden this little shrine too long why should i not come to see you are you not known as an angel of comfort to the sorrowful and the lonely and will you not impart such consolation to me as i may in my many deserve nay no tears no tears dearest of women to see you weep is the only thing that could possibly me and make even lose his nerve he approached her and sought to take her hand but she turned away from him and he saw her bosom heave with a passion of repressed weeping he then said with exceeding gentleness what is this why are you unhappy i have written to you every day since that night when your lips clung to mine for one glad moment i have poured out my soul to you with more or less eloquence and surely with passion every day i have prayed you to receive me and yet you have vouchsafed no reply to one who is by your own confession the only man you love ah you will not now deny that sweet of your heart do you know that was the happiest day of my life the day on which i was threatened by death and saved by love his mellow voice thrilled with its tenderness he caught her hand and kissed it but she was silent with all the yearning passion which had been pent up in him for many months he studied the pure outlines of her brow and throat the falling sunlight glow of her hair the deep glory of the pitying eyes half veiled beneath their golden lashes and just now sparkling with tears all my life he said softly still holding her hand i have longed for love all my life i have lacked it can you imagine then what it was to me when i heard you say you loved my resemblance the poor and even so i knew you loved me when you praised me as and cursed me as king how my power heart burned with desire to clasp you in my arms and tell you all the truth of my disguise but to hear you speak as you did of me so unconsciously so tenderly so bravely was the sweetest gladness i have ever known i felt myself a king at last in very deed and truth and it was for the love of you and because of your love for me that i determined to do all i could for my son and the woman of his choice for myself loved i swore that he should not be deprived of love i have done what i could to his happiness but after all it is your doing and the result of your influence you are the sole centre of my good deeds you have been my star of destiny from the very first day i saw you from the moment when i signed my bond with you in your own pure blood i loved you and i know that you loved me she turned her eyes slowly upon him what eyes now and glittering with the burning fever of the sad and suffering soul behind them you forget she said in hushed trembling accents you are the king he lifted her hand to his lips again and pressed its cool small palm against his brows what then my dearest must the king because he is king go through life unless the king is loved with honour said in the same hushed voice he must go he dropped her hand and looked at her she was very pale her breath came and went quickly but her eyes were fixed upon him steadily and though her whole heart cried out for his sympathy and tenderness she did not he said are you so cold so frozen in an ice wall of that you cannot warm to passion not even to that passion which every pulse of you is ready to return what do you want of me lover s oaths vows of constancy oh beloved woman as you are do you not understand that you have entered into my very heart of hearts that you hold my whole life in your possession you not i are the ruling power of this country what you say that i will do w you command that will i obey while you live i will live between two passions when you die i will die through you i have learned the value of the good that can be done to a country by honest work in through you i have won back my subjects to loyalty it is all you only you and if you blamed me once as a worthless king you shall never have cause to so blame me again but you must help me you must help me with your love she strove to control the beating of her heart as she looked upon him and listened to his pleading she resolutely shut her soul to the music of his voice the light of his eyes the tenderness of his smile what of the queen she said he started back as though he had been stung the queen he repeated mechanically the queen ay the queen said she is your wife the mother of your sons she has never loved you you would say you have never loved her but you are her husband would you make me your mistress her voice was calm she put the plain question without a note of hesitation his face suddenly he said and stretched out his hands towards her i love you a change passed over her rapid and as a sudden radiance from heaven with an impulsive gesture beautiful | 33 |
a move o power ment as abrupt as it was passion stricken put her quickly from him and left her she listened with straining ears to the quick firm echo of his footsteps departing from her and echoing down the stairs she caught the ring of his tread on the pavement outside she heard the grinding roll of the wheels of his carriage as he was rapidly driven away he had gone as she this her courage suddenly failed her and sinking down beside the chair in which he had for a moment sat she laid her head upon it and wept long and bitterly her conscience told her that she had done well but her heart the starving woman s heart was all and for its dearest right love and she had of her own will her own choice put love aside the most precious the most desired love in the world she had sent it away out of her life for ever true she could call it back if she chose with a word but she knew that for the sake of a king and a country s honour she would not so call it back she might have said with one of the most human of poets will say then why not ill for good why took ye not your to that man my word shall answer since i knew the right and did it a shadowy form moving to and fro near the corner of the street appeared to spring forward and to back again as the king hurriedly departing glanced up and down the street once or twice as though in doubt or questioning and then walked to his the soft hues of a twilight sky in which the stars were beginning to appear fell on his face and showed it pale but he was absorbed in his own sad and bitter thoughts lost in his own inward contemplation of the love which consumed him and he saw nothing of that hidden in the semi gloom gazing at him with such fierce eyes of hate as might have even the man he entered his carriage and was rapidly driven away and the shadow no other than stumbling forward his brain on fire and a i between two passions loaded pistol in his hand had hardly his presence before he was gone why did i not kill him he muttered amazed at his own hesitation he stood here close to me it would have been so easy he remained another moment or two gazing around him at the streets at the roofs at the sky as though in a wondering dream then all at once it seemed as if every cell in his brain had suddenly become active his eyes flashed fury and turning swiftly into the house which the king had just left he ran madly up the stairs as though impelled by a and burst without bidding straight into the room where still knelt weeping at the noise of his entrance she started up the tears wet on her face she cried he looked at her breathing heavily yes he said his voice sounding thick and and unlike itself i am or i was before you made of me a nameless devil and you you are you are weeping for the lover who has just parted from you you are the mistress of the king she made him no answer drawing herself up to her full height she flashed upon him a look of utter scorn and maintained a contemptuous silence mistress of the king he repeated speaking in hard you have come to this you the angel of our cause you why i at the sight of you oh you fulfil thoroughly the mission of your sex which is to and betray men you were the traitor all along you knew the real identity of he was your lover from the first and to him you handed the secrets of the committee and played us into his hands it was well done cleverly done woman s work in all its best cunning i but treachery does not always pay amazed and indignant she boldly confronted him you must be mad what do you mean what sudden are these you know they are false why do you utter them he sprang towards her and seized her roughly by the arm io power how do w now they are false he said prove to me they are false who saved the king s life you and why because you knew he was how was it he gained such swift over all our committee and led the work and swayed the men and made of me his tool and servant through you again and why because you knew he was the king why have you scorned me turned from me thrust me from your side denied my love though i have loved and cared for you from childhood why i say because you love the king she stood perfectly still unmoved by his frantic manner by the glare of his eyes and his irrepressible agony of rage and jealousy quietly she glanced him up and down you are right she said i do love the king a horrible oath broke from his lips and for a moment his face grew crimson with the rising blood that threatened to choke the channels of his brain an anxious pit softened her face she said gently you are not yourself you you do not know what you say what has you what have i done you know my life is free i have a right to do with it as i will and even as my life is free so is | 33 |
my love i cannot love where i am i must love where love itself calls he stood still staring at her he seemed to have lost the power of speech you have insulted me almost beyond pardon she went on your are all lies i love the king but i am not the king s mistress i would no more be his mistress than i would be your wife slowly slowly his hand got at something in his pocket and clutched it almost unconsciously slowly slowly he raised that hand still clutching that something and his lips parted in a breathless way showing the glimmer of white teeth within you love the king he said in deliberate accents and you dare you dare to tell me so she raised her golden head with a beautiful defiance and courage between two passions i love the king she said and i dare to tell you so with a lightning quickness of movement the hand that had been groping after an unseen evil now came out into the light with a sudden sharp crash and flame of fire a faint cry tore the air ah oh god and staggered back stunned sick dizzy death death she thought wildly this is death and with a last desperate of her sinking force as every memory of her life swept over her brain in that supreme moment she sprang at her murderer and the weapon from his hand clutching it hard and fast in her own say say i did it myself she gasped in short quick sobs of pain tell the king i did it myself myself save your own life i forgive she and with a choking cry fell back heavily dead her hair came with her fall and shook itself round her in a gold wave as though to hide the horror of the blood that from her lips and breast with a horrid sense of stared upon the evil he had done he gazed around him he listened for to come and explain to him what had happened but up in that remote there was no one to hear either a pistol shot or a cry there was only one thing to be understood and learnt by heart tha t once living was now dead dead how came she dead that was what he could not determine the heat of his wild fury had passed leaving him cold and passive as a stone he whispered the name horrible how she looked with all that blood all that golden hair tell the king i did it myself yes the king would have to be told something stooping he tried to the pistol from the lifeless hand but the fingers though still warm were on the weapon and he dared not them he was afraid he stood up power again and looked around him his glance fell on the knot of flowers he had noticed in the morning the great roses the tied with their golden ribbon he took them hastily and them down beside her then watched a little stream of blood running running towards one of the and purest of the roses it reached it stained it and presently drowned it in a little pool he covered his eyes and staggered backward against the door the evening was growing dark through the small high window he could see the stars beginning to shine as usual as usual though was dead that seemed strange putting one hand behind him he cautiously opened the door still keeping his guarded gaze on that huddled heap of clothes and blood and glittering hair which had been i must get home he muttered i have business to attend to as to the city there is much to o much to do for the people the people my god and dead a kind of laughter threatened him he pressed his mouth hard with his hand to choke back this strange struggling passion is dead there she lies i know not who killed her no no she has killed herself she said so there she lies poor she will never speak to the people never comfort them never teach them any more never hold little in her arms and console them never smile on the sorrowful or cheer the sick never i love the king she said and she died for saying it one should not love kings tell the king i did it myself yes lie still be at peace the king shall know soon enough still muttering uneasily to himself he went out always moving backwards and with a last look at that fallen breathless form of murdered woman shut the door stealthily behind him then stumbling down the stairs he wandered blind and half into the darkening night chapter sailing to the infinite great always come suddenly with the swiftness of lightning they descend upon the world often in the very midst of fancied peace and security and the grinning of humanity for whom even the idea of a god has but furnished food for are scattered into terror stricken who are forced to for the first time in their lives that whether they believe in or no an evident law of justice exists which may not be outraged with sometimes this law works strangely one might almost say it sweeps away persons whom we have judged as useful to the community and allows those to remain whom we consider unnecessary but we all important we are not allowed to long assert or maintain our petty opinions against this unknown force which makes of all our best and most carefully conceived arrangements for example we are not given any practical reason | 33 |
why christ the divine man was taken from the world in his youthful manhood instead of being permitted to live to a great age for the further benefit teaching and of his and followers pure noble and truly of god he was tortured and as though he were the worst of and apart from the church s explanation of this great mystery we may take it as a lesson that misfortune is like everything else two sided it falls equally upon the and the with merely this difference that when it falls on the it is as we are reluctantly forced to admit the act of god but when it falls on the it is generally the proved and evident of man power in this last way and for no fault at all of her own had cruel death befallen such as her career had been it was by so much as a shadow of selfishness or wickedness from the first day of her life sorrow had elected her for its own she had never known father or mother cast out as an infant in the street and picked up by she had secured no other protector for her infancy and youth than the brooding man who was destined in the end to be her murderer as a child she had been passionately grateful to him she had learned all she could from the books he gave her to study and with a quick brain and a keen sense of observation she had become a in literature so much so indeed that more than one half the and other which he ha sent out to different quarters of the globe were from her pen her one idea had been to please and to serve him to show her gratitude for his care of her and to prove herself useful to him in all his aims as she grew up however she quickly discerned that his affection for her was deepening into the passion of a lover whereupon she had at once withdrawn from his personal charge and had made up her mind to live alone and she desired so she told him to on her own and he who could do nothing successfully without her was only too glad to give her the share of such financial results as from the various workings of the committee results which were sometimes considerable though never and so she had worked on finding her best happiness in the poor and nursing the sick her had passed without either joy or love her womanhood had been bare of all the happiness that should have it the people had learned to love her it is true but this more or less felt affection was far from being the intimate and near love for which she had so often longed when at last this love had come to her when in she thought she had found the true companion of her life and heart he had constantly accompanied her by his own choice on her errands of mercy among the poor and had aided the sick and the distressed by his own sympathy sailing to the infinite and tenderness she had almost allowed herself to dream of possible happiness this dream had been encouraged more than ever after she had saved the king from had then become her comrade always at hand and ever ready to fulfil her slightest while from his ardent and eloquent glances the occasional lingering pressure of his hand and the hastily murmured words of tenderness which she could not she knew that he loved her but when he had disclosed his real identity to be that of the king himself all her fair hopes had vanished and her spirit had shrunk and fallen under the blow worse than all when she learned that this great and exalted personage despite his dignity did still continue to entertain a passion for herself the knowledge was almost crushing in its effect upon her mind pure in soul and body she would have chosen death any time rather than and in the recent of events she had sometimes grown to consider death as good and even desirable now death had come to her through the very hand that had first aided her to live and so had she fulfilled the common lot of women which is taken in the to be wronged and slain morally when not physically by the very men they have most sought to serve the heavy night passed away and all through its slow hours the murdered creature lay in her blood and in her hair looked at by the pitiless stars and the cold moon as they shed their beams in turn through the high window morning broke and the sun shot its first rays down upon the dead upon the fixed white countenance and on the little hand grown icy cold but clenched with iron grip upon the pistol which had been so bravely snatched in that last moment of life with the unselfish thought of suspicion from the true murderer with the full break of day the mistress of the house going to arouse her came up the stairs with a bright face cheerfully singing for her usual morning chat with was one of her principal pleasures knocking at the door and receiving no answer she turned the handle and pushed it open then with a piercing scream of horror she rushed away i power calling wildly for help and sending frantic cries down the street i is dead i the news flew the houses poured out their occupants from garret to and presently the street was blocked with a grief stricken crowd a doctor who had been hastily summoned lifted the poor corpse of her whose life had been all love and pity and laid | 33 |
it upon the simple bed where the living had slept contented with poverty for many years and after close and careful examination pronounced it to be a case of suicide the word created consternation among all the people suicide they murmured uneasily why should she kill herself we all loved her ay they all loved her and only now when she was gone did they how great that love had been or how much her thought and tenderness for them all had been with their lives they had never stopped to think of the weariness and of her own life or of the longing she herself might have had for the love and care she so freely gave to others by and by as the terrible news was borne in upon them more some began to weep and wail others to kneel and pray others to recall little thoughtful deeds unselfish and patient of the dead woman who herself had been their truest friend who will tell asked a man in the crowd who will break the news to him there was an awe stricken silence no one volunteered such heart service who will tell the king suddenly exclaimed a harsh voice that of paul who in his habit of hardly ever going to bed had seen the crowd gather and had quickly joined it saved his life he should be told his face always remarkable in its thin eager intellectual aspect looked ghastly and his eyes no longer feverish in their brilliancy were by the dew of tears the king the weeping people looked at one another the king sailing to the infinite had now become a part of their e and interest he was one with them not apart from them as once he had been therefore he must have known how had loved them yes should surely tell the king the king must be informed of this went on if there is no one else to take the news to him i will and before any answer could be given or any suggestion made he was gone meanwhile no person volunteered to fetch every man who knew him dreaded the task of telling him that was dead self slain some poor but tender hearted women sorrowfully prepared the corpse for burial removing the clothes with gentle hands out and parting on either side the glorious waves of hair while with the greatest care and difficulty they succeeded by slow degrees in removing the pistol so tightly clenched in the dead hand while engaged in this sad duty they found a sealed paper marked my last wish and this they put aside till should come then they her in white and laid white flowers upon her breast and so came in turns by groups of and to kneel beside her and kiss her hands and say prayers and weep for the loss of one who had never uttered a harsh word to any poor or sorrowful person but whose mission had been peace and healing love and resignation and submission to her own hard fate until the end meantime who had never been near any royal before walked boldly to the palace all had left him his step was firm his manner and only his eyes betrayed the deep and bitter sorrow of his soul he was allowed to pass the at the outer gates but at the inner of the palace he was denied he maintained his composure however and handed in his written if i cannot see the king i must see sir de he said at this the men in authority glanced at one another and began to if this shabby being knew sir de he was perhaps of importance after a brief consultation together they asked power him to wait while a messenger was despatched to sir er with a curious air of passive sat quietly on the chair they offered and waited several minutes glancing meanwhile at the display of splendour and luxury about him with an indifference on contempt all this magnificence he mused all this wealth cannot purchase back a life or bring comfort to a stricken heart nor can it with a poet s rhyme which often and always for sometimes a thousand here seeing the tall figure of sir de coming between him and the light he rose and advanced a step or two why said sir kindly greeting him with a smile you are up they tell me you want to see the king is it not a somewhat early call his majesty has only just left his sleeping apartment and is busy writing urgent letters will you me with your message paul looked at him my message is from he said deliberately and it must be delivered to the king in person vaguely alarmed sir a step you bring ill news he whispered i do not know whether it will prove ill or well answered wearily but such news as i have must be told to his majesty alone sir paused a moment hesitating then he said if that is so if that must be so then come with me he led the way and followed entering the king s private library where the king himself sat at his writing desk sir announced the unexpected visitor adding in a low tone that he came from the king started up and threw down his pen from he echoed while through his mind there flew a sudden sweet hope that after all the star was willing to fall the flower was ready to be gathered and that the woman who had sent him away from her the day before had a heart too full of love to remain sailing to the infinite to the of her lover paul with a message from let him come in whereupon to enter did so and stood in the royal presence but quite | 33 |
silent an ominous crept coldly through the monarch s warm veins as he saw the dreary pain expressed on the features of the man who had so persistently scorned him and his offered and with a slight but imperative sign he dismissed sir de who retired reluctantly full of now he said gently what do you seek of me what is your message looked full at him as king he answered i seek nothing from you as comrade and his accents faltered i would fain break bad news to you gently i would spare you as much as possible and give you time to face the for i know you loved her the monarch s heart almost stood still what w s this hesitating tone these great tears in s eyes he repeated slowly and in a faint whisper yes yes go on go on comrade is dead an awful stillness followed the words stiff and rigid the king sat as though stricken by sudden giving no sign minute after minute slipped away and he uttered not a word nor did he raise his eyes from the fixed study of the carpet at his feet is dead went on speaking in a slow monotonous way this morning the first thing they found her she had killed herself the pistol was in her hand and they are laying her out with flowers like a bride or a queen and you can go and see her at rest so for the last time if you will this is my message it is a message from the dead still the king spoke not a word nor did he lift his eyes from his brooding observation of the ground to be a great king as you are said and yet to be unable to keep alive a love when you have won it is a hard thing she must have killed herself for your sake no answer was vouchsafed to him he began to feel power a strange pity for that solemn upright figure sitting there silent and he approached it a little nearer comrade he said softly i have hated you as a king yes i have always hated you even when i found you had played the part of and had worked for our cause and had helped to make what is now called my fame i hated you because it all and whatever you did for me or for others it seemed to me you had never known hunger and cold and want never known what it was to have love snatched away from you i watched the growth of your passion for i knew she loved you and had you indeed been the poor writer and you assumed to be all might have been well for you both but when you declared yourself to be king what could there be for such a woman but death she would never have chosen she has taken the straight way out of trouble but but she has left you alone and i am sorry for you i know what it is to be left alone you have a palace here adorned with all the luxuries that wealth can buy and yet you are alone in it i too have a palace a palace of thought furnished with and dreams which no wealth can buy and i am alone in it too i killed the woman who loved me best and you have done the same in your way it is the usual trick of men to kill the women who love them best and then to be sorry for ever afterwards he drew still nearer then very slowly very hesitatingly dropped on one knee and ventured to kiss the monarch s passive hand my comrade my king i am sorry for you now for answer his own hand was suddenly caught in a fierce grip and the king rose stiffly erect his features were grey and drawn his lips were his eyes glittering as with fever stricken to the heart as he he yet forced himself to find voice and utterance speak again speak those horrible horrible words again make me feel them to be true is dead with something like fear for the visible yet sailing to the infinite strongly suppressed anguish of the man before him sighed as he repeated is dead it is god s way to kill all beautiful things just as we have learned to love them she used to talk of justice and order poor soul she never found either yet she believed in god the king s stern face never relaxed in its frozen of woe only his lips moved dead my god my god to rise to such a height of hope and good and then to fall so low gone from me and with her goes all then a sudden hurry seemed to take possession of him go now he said impatiently go back to the place where she lies and tell her i am coming i must i will see her again and i will see you again you too he forced a pale smile yes poor poet i will see you and speak with you of this you shall write for her a a of passion and regret that shall make the whole world weep poor you have had a hard life well may you wonder why god made us men and is dead he rang the bell on his desk violently sir de at once returned but started back at the sight of his royal master s altered countenance have the kindness de said the king hurriedly not his dismayed looks to place a carriage at the | 33 |
the land of the infinite a silent passenger went forth sailing to the infinite on a voyage to the borders of the unknown in state with a purple velvet pall trailing its rich folds over the which her perished and with flowers of every imaginable or scattered about it the body of was with no religious or formal ceremony placed on the deck of a sailing and sent out to the waves for burial so had willed it so had planned it he had purchased the vessel for this one purpose and with his own hands he had strewn the deck with blossoms till it looked like a floating garden of of roses from the mast wreaths from every former member of the now extinct committee were heaped in profusion about the coffin which lay in the centre of the deck the sails were white as snow and one of them bore the name upon it in letters of gold it was arranged that the should be from the harbour and out to sea for about a couple of miles and when there should be cut free and set loose to the wind and tide to meet its fate of certain in the tossing beyond in strange contrast to this floating funeral were the brilliant flags and gay which were already being put up along the streets and as the first signs of the city s welcome to the crown prince and his bride who were expected to arrive home somewhere within the next ten days eager crowds watched the unique ceremony unknown save in old days of sending forth a dead to sail the pitiless seas and countless numbers of small boats attended the funeral vessel in a long it out to that verge where the ocean opened widely to the wider horizon and spread its high road of silver waves out to the approaching silent adventurer comments ran from lip to lip had been seen pale as death laying flowers on the deck to the last the king yes the king himself had sent a wreath as a token of remembrance to the of the woman who had saved his life the purple velvet pall with its glittering of gold had been the gift of the city of which was the lately elected louis had sent that of the great wreath of roses which lay at the head of the coffin power was the offering of the famous little who it was said now lay sick of a fever brought on by grief and for the loss of her best friend and rich and poor alike had with one another in assisting the weird beauty of this exceptional and strange burial in which no was employed but the wild wind which would in due time a hollow in the sea and whirl down into all that remained of a loving woman with the of a people s love around her from the palace windows the queen watched the weird with straining eyes and a sense of relief at her heart this unknown rival of hers this was dead her body would soon be drifting out on the wild waste of waters to be caught by the first storm and sunk in the depths of eternal silence she was glad almost she could have sung for joy the colour on her fair cheeks she looked younger and more beautiful than ever she had learned her long neglected lesson the lesson of how to love and to herself she humbly confessed the truth that she loved no other than her husband the king had now become the centre of her heart as he had become the centre of his people s trust and she watched the vessel bearing the corpse of gliding gliding over the waves she the of boats that went with it and waited with quickened breath and eager eyes till she saw a sudden pause in the procession when riding lightly on a shining wave the funeral ship seemed to stop for an instant and then with a bird like dip forward out with full sails to the open sea the crowding spectators began to break up and the of attendant boats turned back to shore the dead woman who had held such influence over the king was gone gone for ever into the watery of endless death it was with a light heart that the queen at last rose from her watch at the window and prepared to array herself for the return of her sovereign lord her eyes sparkled her lips smiled she looked the very of love and tenderness the snow peak had melted at last and underneath the ice love s late had begun to bloom she glanced once more out at the sea where sailing to the infinite the vanishing death ship now seemed but a speck on the far horizon and saw a bank of solemn purple clouds darkening the golden sunset line clouds that rose up thickly and swiftly like magic mountains into sudden existence by some witch in a fairy tale a gust of wind shook the and moaned faintly through the of the door there will be a storm to night she said her eyes following the crowds as they poured along the terrace from the shore or climbed up from the to the higher streets of the town there will be a storm and the woman who was called will know nothing of it the vessel she sails in will be crushed like a shell in the teeth of the blast and her body will sink like a stone in the angry sea so will she sleep so does her brief power over the king come to an end turning she smiled at | 33 |
her lady in waiting de who had also watched the sea funeral of with wondering and often tear filled eyes how the people must have loved her the girl murmured softly no poor person or child came to these strange without flowers many wept and some swear there is no happiness at all for them now without she must have been a sweet unselfish woman the queen was silent since she saved the life of our lord the king i have often thought of her went on i have even hoped to see her dearest madam would you not have been glad to thank her once before she died the queen s face hardened she only did her duty was the cold answer every subject in the realm would be proud to have the chance of being the king s at that moment the door opened and sir de entered then drew back in some surprise and hesitation i your pardon madam he said bowing low i thought the king was here truly the king should be here by now replied the queen gently but he is doubtless detained among the people who wait upon his footsteps as though he power were a god she smiled happily he went out to see yonder strange funeral and left no word of the hour of his return sir looked perplexed the queen noticed his expression of anxiety stay but a moment sir she added now i remember he bade me at sunset go to my own room and fetch a packet i would find from him there he may be waiting for me now she retired the radiant smile still upon her face and sir looked at his sister with concern for her tearful eyes weeping he said what is the trouble nothing she answered quickly only a of evil that funeral ship has made me sad sir said nothing for the moment he was too with his own to give much heed to hers he walked to the window there will be a storm to night he said look at those great clouds i they are big with thunder and with rain yes murmured there will be a storm madam she turned with a cry to feel the queen s grip on her shoulder to see the queen white as marble with blazing eyes possessed by a very frenzy of grief and terror a tragic picture of despairing majesty she confronted the startled de with an open paper in her hand where is the king she demanded in accents that quivered with fear and passion from you sir de must the answer to you his friend and servant i trusted his safety and of you i ask again where is the king and stunned sir stared helplessly at this enraged splendour of womanhood this embodied wrath of madam he stammered i know nothing save that the king has been sorely stricken by a great sorrow she looked at him with flashing eyes sorrow for what for whom i sailing to the infinite de gazed at her why did she ask of what she knew so well madam to answer that is not within my province she was silent breathing quickly great tears gathered on her lashes but did not fall when saw you his majesty last but three hours since madam he bade me leave him alone saying he would walk a while in the further grounds away from the sight of the sea he had no mind he said to look upon the passing away of a strange grey crept over the queen s face she stood proudly erect yet as though about to fall de ran to her in terror dearest madam cried the trembling girl be comforted be patient the king will come he will never come said the queen in a low choked voice never again never never again i feel i know that i have lost him for ever he has gone but where o god where madam said sir shaken to the soul by the sight of her suppressed agony tliat paper in your hand this paper she said with a effort at calmness makes me till the return of my son the crown prince and at the same time bids me farewell farewell and why farewell oh servant and she advanced a step fixing her burning eyes on the stricken de i thought you loved me his face flushed his lips quivered as god lives madam i yield to no one in my love and service of you then find the king and she stretched out her arm w ith a gesture of authority bring back to me my husband i the one man of the world the one man i have learned to love follow the king whether on land or sea whether alive or dead in heaven or hell follow him your place is not with me but by your master s side if you know not whither he has fled make it your business to learn and never let me see your face again till his face shines beside yours like sunshine against darkness till his eyes his smile make gladness where power your presence without him is a mocking misery out of my sight and return again save in your duty and attendance on the king madam madam exclaimed would you condemn my brother to a lasting what if the king were dead dead the word left the queen s lips in a sharp sob of pain the king cannot die he is too strong too bold and brave he has met death ere now and conquered it dead no that is not possible | 33 |
none will remember aught save her exceeding beauty or blame her that the sun and sea were her only known parents and if we credit legend hers is not the first birth of loveliness from the bosom of the waves here the wind tearing round the rattled and roared for a space like a demon threatening the whole construction of the house and then went galloping away with a shriek among the pines down to the shore a wild night said the professor with a slight shiver alas poor poor soul of an ideal as called her her frail mortal will soon be drawn down to the depths in such a storm as this i never saw her said i have seen often was to me a name merely but i knew it was a name to with a name beloved of the people longed to see her she had heard of her often she was a phenomenon said the professor slowly and i admit that her composition baffled m no one have i ever seen at all like her she was beautiful without any of the accepted of beauty and it is precisely such a woman as that who possesses the most dangerous fascination over men not over boys but over men she had a loving passionate feminine heart with a masculine brain the two together are bound to constitute what is called genius the only thing i cannot understand is the unexpected power weakness she displayed in committing suicide that i should never have thought of her on the contrary i should have imagined knowing as much of her as i did that the greater the sorrow the greater the fight she would have made against it a silence fell between them filled by the thundering noise of the wind where is asked presently i do not know the last i saw of him was on board the vessel that bore her coffin he was laying flowers on the deck he was not i think in any of the smaller boats that accompanied it he must have returned with the crowd on shore he has his duties as for the city now we must remember s eyes flashed with a glimmer of satire in the if it had not been for he would not be a or anything else save perchance a or an he said he used to be one of the in all the country when i first came here many and many is the time i have heard him threaten to kill the king ah said the professor the while he bent his eyes on the flickering fire again a silence fell the wind roared and screamed around the building and in the pauses of the gale the minutes seemed with a strange dread every of the clock sounded heavy and long even to the minded professor the storm outside was growing louder and even louder and his thoughts despite himself turned to the ocean over which prince s home returning vessel must be now on its way while that other solitary and whose sail bore the name of was also but in a darker direction down to death and oblivion carrying with it as he feared all the love and heart of a king suddenly a loud knocking at the door startled them and as rose from his chair amazed at the noise and von did the same with more alacrity a man with wind blown hair and excited gestures burst into the little room he cried the king the king he paused gasping for breath looked at him his clothes were with sea water his face was pale and his eyes expressed some fear that his tongue seemed incapable of uttering he was one of the coral of the coast and knew him well what you man he asked what say you of the king holding the door of the cottage open with some difficulty the coral pointed to the sky overhead it was with great masses of white cloud through which the moon appeared to roll rapidly like a ball of yellow fire the wind howled furiously and the pines in the near distance could be seen bending to and fro like in its breath while the roar of the sea beyond the rocks was fierce and it is all storm cried the man excitedly the are running mountains high there is no chance for him no chance for whom demanded von impatiently what would you tell us speak plainly it was the king said the coral again trying to express himself more i saw his face lit up by the after glow of the sky white white as the foam on the wave listen when the body of the woman was borne away on that vessel a man came to me out of the of the crowd i was on one of the and offered me a purse of gold to take him out to sea and to steer him in such a way that we should meet the funeral just as she was cut adrift and sent forth to be wrecked in the ocean i did not know him then he kept his face hidden he spoke low and he was evidently in trouble i thought he was a lover of the dead woman and sought perhaps to comfort himself by looking at her coffin for the last time so i consented to do what he asked i had my sailing and we went at once the wind was strong we sailed swiftly and at the appointed place he paused to take breath seized him by the arm quick go on what next at the appointed place when the vessel stopped when her ropes were cut and she afterwards sprang out power to sea i by his | 33 |
orders ran my close beside her as she came and before i knew how it happened my passenger sprang aboard her ay with a spring as light and sure as the flight of a bird farewell he said and flung me the promised gold may all be prosperous with you and yours and then the wind down and bore the ship a mile or more ere i could follow it but the strong light in the west fell full upon the man s face and i saw i knew it was the king in may you for ever be confounded and mistaken exclaimed von i left the king in his own grounds but an hour before i myself started to witness this accursed sea funeral i say it was the king repeated the man emphatically i would swear it was the king and the vessel going out to meet the storm to night holds the living as well as the dead with a sudden movement as active as it was decided old went to a corner in the room and drew out a thick of rope with an iron hook at the end and it round his waist with the alert quickness of youth made for the open door where is your he demanded ashore down yonder answered the coral but you what are you going to do you cannot sail her in such a night as this i will adventure said if as you say it was the king i will save him if he can be saved once a king s life was nothing to me now it is something the tide round these islands and the vessel on which they have placed the body of can scarcely drift away from the circle till morning unless the waves are too strong for it they are too strong cried the coral believe me there is no rain to soften or the wind and the sea grows greater with every breath of the rising gale i care nothing replied let be if you are afraid i will go alone at these words the professor suddenly awoke to the situation what would you attempt he exclaimed you can do nothing you are weak and there is no force in you to combat with the elements on such a night as this there i force said the force of my thirst for let me be for god s sake let me do something useful in my life let me try to save the king if i die so much the better then i will go with you said von desperately shook his head you no my friend you will not you will remain to welcome to tell her that i loved her to the last that i did my best he seemed to have grown young in an instant his eyes flashed with and vigour and instead of an old man full of cares and he seemed like a bold adventurer before whom a new land of promise opens von looked at him and ia a moment made up his mind he turned to the what think you truly of the night my friend is it for life or death we go death certain death answered the man it is madness to set sail in such a storm as this you are married no doubt and little ones eat your so then you shall not be asked to go with us i am ready i can pull an oar and manage a sail and i am not afraid of death by drowning for s sake let me go with you for s sake stay here cried and with an abrupt movement he escaped von s hold and ran with all the speed of a boy out of the cottage into the garden beyond von rushed after him but found himself in the thicket of pines and hemmed in by the darkness of their stems and branches the wind was so fierce and strong that he could scarcely keep his feet every now and again the moon flew out of a great cloud and glared on the scene but not with sufficient clearness to show him his way yet he knew the place well often had he and trodden that path down to the sea power and yet to night it seemed all how the sea roared like a thousand lions for prey against the rocks the rising and screamed rattling backward among stones and shells with the grinding noise of being hastily dragged off a lost field of battle he called as loudly as he could and again but his voice big and though it was made but the wail in the loud shriek of the wind yet he stumbled on and on and by slow and difficult degrees found his way down to the foot of the high rocks which formed a wall between him and the sea the rocks he had so often climbed with and of which she had sung in such tones of triumph and tenderness here by the sea my king crown d me i wild ocean sang for my with the voice of a mighty nation the memory of this song came back to his ears in a ringing echo amid the howling of the boisterous wind which now blew harder and harder scattering masses of blown from the waves in his face with flying sand and light shells and torn up weed scarcely able to stand against it he paused to get his breath that it would be worse than useless to climb the rocks in the teeth of such a gale or try to reach the old accustomed winding way down to the shore he endeavoured to collect his scattered wits if tke ceaseless of the storm would only have allowed him to think he fancied he | 33 |
might have found another and easier path to lead in the direction whither in his mad but heroic impulse had gone but the gale was so terrific and the of the great waves on the other side of the rocky barrier so awful that it seemed as if the water must be rolling in like a solid wall bent on breaking down the coast and grinding it to powder his heart ached heavily tears rose to his eyes what a grain of dust i am in this world of storm he ejaculated here i stand a strong man utterly useless powerless to save the life i would die to serve but maybe the story is not true the man can easily have been mistaken surely the king would not give up all for the sake of one woman s love but though he said this to himself he knew that such things have been indeed that they are common enough throughout all history he had not studied humanity to so little purpose as not to be aware that there are certain phases of the passion of love which make of a man s wisest and best intentions and that even as lost all for s smile and harry the eighth upset a church for a woman s whim so in modern days the same old story itself and no matter how great and famous the position of a king or an emperor he may yet court and obtain his own ruin and disaster ay lose his very throne for love it well lost restless miserable and troubled by the confusion of his thoughts which seemed to run wild with the wild wind and the thundering sea the unhappy professor his steps to the cottage hoping against hope that physically unable to cope with the storm would have returned baffled in his reckless attempt to put forth a boat to sea but the little home was silent and deserted there was the old man s empty chair the clock against the wall the minutes away with a comfortable which was to the nerves the fire w s still bright before entering von looked up and down everywhere outside but there was no sign of any living creature nothing remained for him to do but to resign himself to whatsoever calamity the forces above him chose to inflict and utterly weary baffled and helpless he sank into s vacant chair unconscious that tears were rolling down his face from the excess of his anxiety and exhaustion the shrieking of the wind the occasional glare of the moonlight through the rattling windows and the apparent rocking of the very above him thrilled him into new and ever sensations of fear yet he was no coward and had often himself on having nerves of steel and of iron presently he began to see quaint faces and figures in the glowing embers of the fire old scraps of song and legend haunted him fragments of power mixed up with long philosophical phrases of began to make absurd and glaring in his mind while he listened to the awful noises of the storm and the steady of the clock on the wall worried him to such an almost childish degree that had he not thought how often he had seen winding up that clock and setting it to the right hour he could almost have torn it down and broken it to pieces by and by however tired nature had her way and utterly heavy and worn out in mind and body and weary of the disturbed and thoughts in his brain he lay back and closed his eyes he would rest a little while he said to himself and wait and so he gradually fell asleep and in his sleep wrote so he imagined a whole eloquent chapter of his political history of hunger in which he described as a who after proving false to the cause of the people and grinding them down by unlimited such as no government had ever before inflicted seized the king of the country and sent him away to be drowned in company with a woman of the people whose body was fastened to his by ropes and iron chains in the fashion of les of and he thought that the king rejoiced in his doom and said strange words like those of the poet who sang of a similar story for never a man like me shall die like me till the whole world dies i shall drown with her laughing for love and she mix with me touching me lips and eyes meanwhile true to the instinct within him had fulfilled his intention and had put out to sea the who had brought the tidings which had moved him to this desperate act was too much of a hero in himself to let the old man venture forth alone and so following him down to the shore had despite all commands and entreaties to the contrary insisted on going with him the sailing he owned was a strong boat stoutly built and at first it seemed as if their efforts to ride the would be crowned with success old had a true genius for the manage ment of a sail his never his exertions would have done credit to a man less than half his age with delicate precision he guided the ropes as a might have guided the reins of a and the vessel rose and fell lightly over the great waves with such ease and rapidity that the man who accompanied him and took the an experienced sailor himself began to feel confident that after all the voyage might not be altogether futile the sea may be calmer further out from land i he shouted to who nodded a quiet while he kept his eyes earnestly fixed on the horizon which the occasional brightness of | 33 |
the moon showed up like a line of ted silver everywhere he the waves for a glimpse of the fatal vessel bearing death and perhaps life on board but over the whole expanse of the hills and valleys of wild water there was no speck of a boat to be seen save their own they swept on and on the wind them with savage violence when the man at the shouted excitedly see yonder there she sails with an exclamation of joy sprang up and looking saw within what seemed an apparently short distance the drifting funeral he sought so far she seemed her sails were out full to the wind and she was rising and plunging bravely over the great which rolled oa in interminable array one over the other with rugged foam that sprang like fountains to the sky a five or ten minutes run with the wind would surely bring them alongside and turned with an eager will to his work once more over the heads of the monstrous waves rising with their hills sinking in their valleys he guided the few yielding that were between him and destruction the straining sail to the ferocious wind and ever keeping his eyes fixed on the vessel which was the object of his the sole aim and end of his reckless voyage and which seemed now to and then to almost disappear the more earnestly he strove to reach it to save the king he muttered to save not to kill i for s sake to save the king a capricious gust from the beating wings of the storm power down upon him sideways as he twisted the ropes and at them in a to balance the plunging boat and keep her upright and in the loud serpent like hiss of the waves around him he did not hear his companion s wild warning cry a cry of despair and farewell in one a dark green mass ol water moving on lifted itself quite suddenly as it were to its full height as though to stare at the human creatures who thus had dared to oppose the fury of the elements and then leaping forward like a devouring monster broke over their frail sweeping the sail off like a strip of ribbon snapping the mast and rolling over and over them with a thousand heads of foam that upwards again fell into dark covering and dragging down everything on the surface with a tumult and roar it passed on thundering but left a blank behind it and men had vanished and not a trace of the wreck floated on the angry waves for one blinding second the wild waves saw the face of that best beloved fair face pitying loving to the last shine on him like a star in the darkness the next he was into the silence of the million dead worlds beneath the sea so at last he paid his life s full debt so at last his was fulfilled if it was true as he had in an moment confessed that he had once killed a king then the law of compensation had worked its way with him inasmuch as he had been forced to render up what he cherished most the love of to the son of a king and had ended his days in an effort to save the life of a king for the rest whatever the real nature of his long hidden secret whatever the extent of the torture he had suffered in his conscience his earthly punishment was over and the story of his past crime would never be known to the living world of men one sinner one sufferer among many millions he was but a floating straw on the vast of time and whether he prayed for pardon and obtained it whether he had worked out his own salvation or had lost it may not be known of him or of any of us till god makes up the sum of life in which perchance none of even the smallest shall be found missing grew the night and more the sea while the sky became a landscape of black and white clouds by the moon which appeared to run over their and plains like some scared white creature pursued by invisible foes the vessel on which the corpse of lay in purple and with flowers flew over the waves to all seeming with the same hunted rapidity as the moon rushed through the heavens and so far though her bent reed like in the wind and her sails strained at their she had come to no harm tossed about as she was and solitary there was something almost miraculous in the way she had a storm in which many a well guided ship must inevitably have gone down the purple pall with its heavy fringe of gold that the coffin she carried was through and through by the sea and the flowers on the deck were beaten and drowned in the salt spray that dashed over them but amid all the ruined blossoms of earth by the side of the dead and full to the tempest stood one living man for whom life had no charm and death no terror the king what had been reported of him was true he had resigned his throne and left his kingdom for the sake of forth on this voyage of discovery this swift and stormy sail with to the land of the unknown whether it was a madness or a sick dream that his blood he knew not but once the woman he loved was dead every hope every ambition in him died too and he felt himself to be a mere corpse of clay unwillingly dragged about by | 33 |
in a landscape which he purposes his past life appeared to him like a picture in a magic crystal and uncertain a mist of shapes without decided meaning or colour he thought of the beautiful cold queen his wife and wondered whether she would weep for his loss not she and he almost smiled at the idea perhaps there will be a ballad written about it and she will listen unchanged unmoved as she listened that night when her sang we shall drift along till we both grow old looking back on the days that have passed us by when what might have been can no longer be when i lost you and you lost me that was a quaint song and a true one she will not weep then he went over in memory the various scenes of his life brilliant useless and without results when he was heir apparent he thought of his two young sons and who were as indifferent to him as young to their and anon his mind turned more tenderly to his eldest born prince and the fair girl he had so boldly wedded the happy twain who returning homeward would find the throne ready for their and a whole nation waiting to welcome them god bless them both he said aloud lifting his calm eyes to the wild heavens they have the one shield and against all misfortune love and i thank god that i have not the sin upon my conscience of having broken that shield away from them or of having forced their young lives asunder wiser than i they took their own way and kept it may they so keep it always then a thought of the people came to him the people who had taken to him and making of him a hero greater than any monarch whose deeds have ever been since history began they will forget he said nowadays nations have short memories battles and and pass over the national mind as rapidly and as the clouds are flying over the sky to night the people remember neither their nor their triumphs in the life of individual self which each little their of one monarch quickly changes to their of another i shall perhaps be regretted for six months as my father was and then consigned with my ancestors to oblivion nothing so beautiful or so to the heart of a monarch as the love of his people but at the same time nothing so or uncertain as such love nothing so purely and nothing so desperately sad so tragic as the death of kings rapidly he the situation the new the new government members were elected and business would begin again immediately after the crown prince s return all the he had been prepared to carry out would be effected and then would come the new king s what a dazzling picture of beauty would be seen in and crowned his heart beat rapidly at the mere contemplation of it for himself he had no thought save to that the strange manner of his disappearance from his kingdom would probably only awaken a sense of resentment in society and a vague superstition among the masses who would for a long time cling to the belief that he was not dead but that like king arthur he had only gone to the island valley of to heal him of his grievous wound from which deep of rest he would return rejoicing in his strength again would know the truth for to he had written the truth and the letter would reach him this very night this night of his last earthly voyage power when his great sorrow has he said he too will forget he has all his work to do all his career to make and he will make it well and nobly even for his sake and for his future it is well that i am gone for if he ever came to know if he were to guess even through s or some other means the reason why killed herself he would hate me and with justice he loves the people he will serve their cause better than i the moon stared out of a cloud just then and to his amazement and awe he suddenly perceived the black shadow of a man lifting itself slowly slowly from the hold of the ship like a massive bulk or ghost in the gloom unable to imagine what this might be or how any other human creature save himself would venture to sail with the dead on a voyage whose end could be but destruction he advanced a step towards that shape and started back with a cry as he recognised the very man he had been thinking of he cried aghast king and looked scarcely human in the pale fleeting as he too stared in half wonder at the face and form of a companion on this dread journey such as he had never expected to see what do you here in the midst of the sea and the storm you should be at home playing the fool in your palace giving on your throne you you have no right to die with whom i loved with whom you loved echoed the king you loved her true but i loved her more you lie said furiously no man no king no emperor of all the world could ever have loved as i loved her these great waves waiting to us dead and living together are not more in their passion for us than i in my passion for i loved her and when | 33 |
she scorned me when she rejected me when she openly confessed that she loved you the king what remained for her but death death rather than at your royal hands sir i and he laughed fiercely a laugh with the ring of madness in it i rescued her as a child from starvation and misery and so i may say i gave her her life what i gave i took again i had the right to take it i would not see her by you by you by you i did the only thing left to me to save her from you i killed her with a loud cry the king no longer so much king as man with every passion roused sprang at him you killed her oh treacherous devil they said she killed herself hands oflf cried suddenly pointing a pistol at him i will shoot you as readily as i shot her if you touch me she killed herself you think oh yes in a strange way her last words were say i did it myself tell the king i did it myself a lie all women are fond of lying but her lie was to protect me her last thought was for my defence not yours her last wish was to save me not you king though you are lover though you to be i say i murdered her this is my day of fate the day on which it seems that heaven itself has drawn lots with me to kill a king why did i ever my hate of you it was in me a part of me my very life the utmost portion of my work i called you friend i curse myself that i ever did so for from the first you were my enemy my rival in the love of what did i care for the people what did you we were both at one in the love of the same woman and now i am here to die with her alone alone i say do you hear me i will be alone with her to the last you shall not share with us in our sea burial i will die beside her all all alone and drift out with her to the darkness of the grave to meet my fate with her always with her whether her spirit lead me to hell or to heaven his frenzy was so desperate so terrible that by its very force the strange mental composure of the king became quietly folding his arms he took his stand by the coffin of the dead in silence the dashing spray that leaped at the of the vessel the wind that lip the into higher and higher of green might have been and powerless for all he seemed to hear or to heed why are you with us cried again how came you on this ship where i thought i had hidden my power self alone with her to death could you not have left her to me you who have a throne and kingdom i to whom she was all my life i came as you have come answered the king to die with her or rather not to die but to find life with her she loved me with a savage curse raised the pistol he held the king looked him full in the eyes take good aim he said for here between us lies the silent witness of your deed go hence if you must with two on your soul there is no escape from death for either you or me take it how we may and i care not at all how i meet it whether at your hands or in the waves of the sea give me the same death you gave to i ask no better end for so at least shall we meet more quickly half choked with his fury looked at him with fixed and eyes he was jealous of death jealous that death should of itself seem to and the man she had loved more closely together standing erect by the purple pall that covered the one woman of the world to them both the king looked every inch a king the of pride love resolve and courage with a sudden wild beast cry sprang at him and caught his arm with one hand the pistol in the other too near he gasped you shall not stand too near her you shall not die so close to her you shall not have the chance of resting where she sleeps he fell back as the king s calm eyes regarded him almost without a trace of fear he trembled do not look so he muttered i cannot kill you not if you look so i raising the pistol he took apparent aim the king stood unmoved only murmuring softly to himself on the other side of death my on the other side there was a loud report a crash in his ears then as he staggered back stunned by the shock he saw that he was untouched had turned the pistol against his own breast and backward with a last supreme effort dragged his sinking body to the vessel s edge god save your majesty he cried wildly tell i did it myself god knows that is true the wild waves up over the deck rushed at him and an enormous foam higher and stronger than all the rest beat at the mast of the vessel and snapped it in twain it came down dragging the sail with it in a of and with that sail the name of inscribed upon it was whirled furiously out | 33 |
of farewell my love forgive me why should he think of her why should he see her before him at this supreme moment when death stared him in the face and his spirit hovered on the edge of vengeance is mine i will repay the lord his first love so lightly won so tears rushed to his eyes he thought of the wrong done to a perfectly pure and life a wrong he had forgotten in all these years till now power oh god he cried aloud forgive me forgive my weakness my selfishness my many wasted years not her face forever come between thy angel and my soul the tumultuous rushing now with a great at the vessel snatched and tore at him he himself to look again once again and for the last time across the great wilderness of waters the moon now shone brightly the clouds were parting on either side of her rolling up in huge masses white and glistening as peaks of snow the wind had not lessened and the fury of the sea was still but the fair childish face had vanished and only the clear salt spray dashed in his eyes and blinded them only the salt waves round him drawing him towards them in a cold embrace on the other side my he said god be merciful to us both on the other side for one moment the breaking vessel paused on the edge of the of waves which meeting in a centre of commotion leaped at her and began steadily to her down for one moment the fell purely on the calm face of the king who like others allied to him in throughout history had esteemed mere at the cost of love for kings though surrounded with and who seek to make them imagine themselves somewhat more than human are but men with all men s vain sins and passions mad weaknesses and wild dreams and when they love they love as foolishly as and when they die as die they must there is no difference in the actual way of death than is known to a more gold and purple on the one side more straw and on the other but the solemnity and equality of death itself is the same in both and as this dying king well knew the people care little who them provided bread is cheap and labour well paid he is greatest who gives them most and he is the most applauded who allows them the most liberty of action the personality the complex nature the character the temptations the of a king as man merely are less than nothing to the multitude who run to follow and to cheer him if he were once to complain he would be condemned and if he asked from his crowding the bread of sympathy they would give him but a stone the moon smiled the stars flashed through the clouds and all through the length and breadth of ocean there seemed to come the sound of a great rising and filling the air it on the king s ears as with hands clasped on the lilies strewn over the sleeping he welcomed the coming of the beyond and then the waters rose up and caught living and dead together and dragged them down with a rush and roar down down to that grand that sublime pause in the chain of existence that longer sleep from which we shall wake refreshed and strong again ready to learn where we have failed why we have loved and how we have lost but of things there shall be no duration neither nor nor power only love which makes weak the strongest and the and of things eternal we know naught save that love always love is still the centre of the universe and that even to redeem the sins of the world god himself could find no way than through love born of woman into life e days passed and ocean gradually smoothed out its frowning spreading a surface darkly blue and peaceful under a arch of sky and one night when the moon like a golden cup in heaven emptied her sparkling wine of radiance over the gently heaving waves a fair ship swiftly with all the force of steam and sail with flags fluttering from every mast and sounds of music echoing from her lighted came flying over the like a glorious bird soaring to its home on an errand of joy on her deck stood happily ignorant of all calamity watching with dreamy thoughtful eyes the of sea between her and the land she loved the power crown prince her husband now king though he knew it not stood beside her his handsome face brightened by a smile which expressed his heart s his deep peace and inward content naught knew these wedded lovers of the strange reception awaiting them of the half mourning half rejoicing people of national flags suddenly veiled in of black set amidst gay of a queen broken hearted and despairing weeping vainly for the love she had so long and had learned too late to value of a crown resigned of the lost majesty and hero of a nation s of the death of and the inexplicable disappearance of the famous leader and of all the strange and tragic history of vanished lives even to that of sir de whom no man ever saw again which it fell to their faithful friend von to relate with passionate grief and many tears they knew nothing they only saw home and the future before them shining in bright hues of hope and promise for love was | 33 |
by all such persons in his neighbourhood as may happen to have interests in the liquor trade sometimes the ill feeling reaches such a climax that the unfortunate man is r or else exposed to the most and injurious persecution it takes something more than the usual soldier s to daily bear with the miserable the mean the ignorant and vulgar of a petty parish in arms against its spiritual head yet there are hundreds of rural clergy who cheerfully endure these narrow and prejudices warriors for the right and the true hidden away in the and least frequented comers of the british fighting steadily under their divine master s orders without honour without hope of without personal comfort often in the end dying and broken hearted because the powers of drink have proved more potent with their than the power of christ humble heroes these in the counting of their own lives but surely to the ultimate working out of the nation s health strength and wisdom for just as one ill tempered and clergyman will with his own unpleasant attributes a whole community so will one warm hearted kindly humane and sympathetic man of the same high calling work a if slow and gradual change in the mental feeling and attitude of even the most narrow and of rustic yet with all their cheerful patience and such men are far less appreciated in the world and much less influence than those who make their money out of the people s and degradation such as mr whose original i author s note pages is now a headed complacent and pious member of the house of lords and this is natural for while the one side seeks to virtue the other vice and poor humanity will always be more prone to follow vice to its own than virtue for its own happiness till it knows better that it is beginning to know better is evident the million whose labour makes the country s position and prosperity are to the of grip in which themselves and their are held by the drink trade and with the usual sturdy common sense which lies at the core of their being they are beginning to question why they in their toiling thousands should be doomed with then children to disease and d for the benefit of a few drink companies and it is devoutly to be wished that the answer they arrive at will be in the form of such a fight against the national curse as may our land from the on its fair fame for it must be the people themselves who decide their own destiny they know by this time that they cannot rely on the advice proffered to them by party newspapers moreover the large sums of money by press companies out of the of and companies very naturally make the two trades work along the same lines hand and glove with each other the pity of it is that the press should have ever become a trade guided by money results more than by national honour in my present story i have selected only one episode out of many which drink writes across millions of homes and millions of lives there are hundreds of suffering men in the church like who would be all the better and much the happier for the confidence help and support holy orders of their confidence help and support which is almost invariably denied to them i should like to make special pleading for these for while our higher are nowadays such of view that they appear to and excuse the in their own ranks as well as in the ranks of that society which to lead conduct and morals these lesser men are keeping the church and purer than it would wise be and in their almost labours are truly bearing all the burden and heat of the day as for the drink evil i wish that every one into whose hands this book may fall would honestly try to the wide spread misery disease crime and for which that hideous vice is responsible and would add his or her wish and will to mine in a strong prayer that the wicked financial profit derived by the few out of the physical and moral of the many may be checked and finally come to naught so that the british people released at last from the dominant sway of the liquor traffic may rise to the best of everything in them the best of brain the best of work the best of health the best of life a temperate people must always be a strong people and to hold our own in the days that are coming we shall need all the strength that sound minds and sound bodies can give us there is no room in the future of britain for a national vice which a national weakness on holy orders the tragedy of a quiet life chapter i a storm of rain was sweeping over the the clouds drifted along the sky in low masses breaking asunder now and then to show fitful glimpses of blue between their dividing gloom the hills looked bare and wan and their were like the outline of a picture which the painter has in haste and carelessness every now and again a restless wind arose and blew the to and fro the landscape wore a dismal aspect and as the wet mists crept over field and common they brought with them a shuddering chill which penetrated coldly to the warmest blood and created an uncomfortable sense of physical and mental depression in a certain small village which to save all contest for not here be given its true name but shall be called the rain seemed to gather special force pouring in torrents over the clustered houses and down from their roofs into wide of mud through the | 33 |
main street as it was merely because the post office a combined business of small and the country s happened to be therein was in some respects constructed so as to give the greatest possible inconvenience to those who by chance or fortune found themselves constrained to dwell in it there were two portions of it one ancient the other modem holy orders the ancient part was composed of strongly built stone houses many of them rich in the possession of old oak and stray bits of fine left here and there where the dealer in had found it impossible to remove them without destroying the whole structure die modem was one of those model villages which weu meaning go to the pains of at great cost and little profit for their often tenants who not only find fault with the houses but at the paying of their rents when occupying the same between the two there ran a brook of not very clear water over which there was a picturesque bridge of a single span which was to have been built by the looking down fix m this bridge into the stream one saw various mute of the interior life of e village broken china empty preserved meat old pots and of every description with portions of v matter which were not altogether and here indeed though the stranger knew it not was the centre of a great the core of an internal party strife year in and year out it was a matter of dispute as to which inhabitants of the village on either side of the bridge thus turned the river into a was it the original or the model village no one could tell no one dared many had been the from the kindly something of a benefactor in his way whose mansion and deer park were some two miles distant urgent and had been the both from him and his wife a great lady of fashion that their tenants should try and keep the clean and most had been the promises received in return but no real change was ever effected each side blamed the other the people in the old stone houses declared they never did see such folk as those who occupied their landlord s model cottages while the in the model cottages declared that their neighbours of the stone hut period were semi as didn t know a dean thing when they see d it only on sundays was a kind of silent effected for there was but the tragedy of a quiet life one church a small and very ancient edifice once the chapel so of a holy in the early christian era and preserved by the until the stormy days of the when it was like all the churches in the neighbourhood deprived of its images and relics and considerably though not destroyed of late years it had been restored to something of its appearance and the simple services of the church of england were faithfully performed in it sunday after sunday by the resident the reverend richard he was a good and kindly man and when the living was first bestowed upon him he was moved to a sense of overpowering and grateful wonder at his amazing fortune he had been working as a poor in the east end of london and happened by chance to be chosen to preach a sermon on a particular occasion for some great cause of charity among his hearers was the wealthy patron of the living of and so pleased was this good squire with the young preacher s eloquence that he sought him out and made his personal acquaintance an acquaintance which soon deepened into friendship the result of which friendship was his present position and the reverend richard thought himself a more than lucky man for not only was the church of an interesting one from the point of antiquity but there was a attached to it which was quite a sixteenth century house full of untouched oak and connected by poetic tradition with the love story of a lady of that romantic period when young women were supposed to die straight off as soon as lovers betrayed their trust even as lilies die when deprived of water there were leaning and big windows and quaint chimney to this house and a garden of the loveliest old fashioned type shut in from the outer world by trees beneath some of which sir philip might have composed a and so when richard first took up his abode in this charming rural retreat he was as happy as a poet is when inspired with a fine idea life seemed to joy upon him inwardly and outwardly for he was and on the faith of his dreams holy orders and his delight and his from all financial he did what most men would have done under similar he fell in love and got married mrs was very pretty she was it may be at once stated much too pretty for a s wife she was dainty golden blue eyed light footed merry a voice like a lark and a smile like e very sunshine ever thing in that a s wife ought to be if she would stand in a respectable position with county society her quite un name too was absurd and almost her dress was always exquisitely though not extravagant and people said such people as there were in to say anything that they wondered how she could do it she was a daily joy and bewilderment to her husband during the first year of their marriage then there arrived a baby boy like yet unlike her with a wise angel and a noble head like that of the where he came from neither | 33 |
of his parents could imagine the reverend richard stared for hours at his offspring wondering why it looked so at him for he himself was quite a plain ordinary sort of man his two best features being his eyes and mouth eyes which were deeply set and darkly blue and lips that were finely sensitive and accustomed to lines of speech and smile the beauty of his baby son confused and oppressed him he was troubled by it though he knew not why his wife was not so much perplexed as delighted with her child she looked like a girl suddenly presented by a kind friend with a model doll after the birth of this wondrous boy the family in considered itself complete everything smiled upon the happy the house was lovely the garden delicious the air good and the surrounding landscape perfect at the time this true tale opens the and his wife had enjoyed their condition of bliss for three years and beautiful son was two old just at what the tragedy of a quiet life dream so far at least as the himself was concerned in the joy of securing living and the greater bliss of winning the love of felicity crowned and completed by the arrival of the boy with the fine head and countenance the reverend richard had forgotten altogether one trifling circumstance namely that he was a clever man that is to say a man gifted above the ordinary with a wide knowledge of books a keen grasp of things social and political and a natural bias towards the graces of art and learning amid the smiles of his wife and the of his infant he had so himself that he had completely lost sight of the fact that perhaps there might be wider and more useful fields of labour than when this thought first came to him he put it away as though it were a suggestion from the evil one some deadly sin yet every now and then it persistently to him and forced itself upon his pained attention he was ashamed of it and angry with himself for giving way to what he called a weakness but nevertheless the question rang in his ears with haunting are you going to spend all your life in all his life he was only thirty five and probably taking all the chances for and against there were several years before him long years for in the time on with a most extraordinary yet who could wish for a more peaceful way of passing the days than the work of souls there was no prettier old village church in england than the one in which it was his duty to and as for his personal there was no better house anywhere than his no wife no more beautiful child what more then could he desire how was it that a sudden cloud small yet perfectly perceptible had crept into his sky he asked himself the question many times angrily and with a keen self reproach but he kept his own counsel as to his inward condition of mind and not even to that dazzling creature of sunshine and his adored whose bewildering fairy beauty and gaiety of heart were a perpetual holy orders amazement to his mind did he confide what he gravely decided was a matter between himself and god on this day of dull rain and sweeping mist when even the garden looked dreary the spring not having yet made up its mind as to whether or no it meant finally to a long and winter and when in both its ancient and modem parts p its worst and most forlorn aspect there was something more than usually in the atmosphere and the reverend richard felt it he sat in his study at a round oak table strewn with letters and papers holding a pen in his hand and trying to c his mind on his next sunday s sermon opposite to him the spacious window gave him an open view of his garden a dream of beauty in june and july but just now fitting itself into his particular frame of mind as somewhat like a well kept from which the and memorial monuments had been recently removed tall dark and waved their like solemnly to and fro in the driving rain the were and marked by the muddy trail of the worm the flower borders showed some meekly little of green of waiting to grow tall if the sun would only shine upon them and a few withered drooped towards the gravel path and shivered in the of the wind s deep set thoughtful eyes ed all these trifles with a kind of morbid even for march he said to himself gently as though for the remark the weather is trying i he turned his pen about finger and thumb but wrote not a word with it a terrible conviction was forcing itself upon his mind that there was nothing to write about it was a dreadful fact nothing to write about i he a minister of the gospel with the book of all books beside him the of spiritual prophecy and power could find nothing to say on any subject in it every be was newly confronted by this amazing difficulty yet the tragedy of a quiet life it was not that he was destitute of ideas only and here was the stumbling block his ideas would not appeal to the in of were he to express himself in such language as he desired to use were he to give his heart and soul full vent and speak with the passion and enthusiasm that inwardly consumed his being as with a flame why then us | 33 |
well what of his would they be angry surprised or in any way moved to unusual emotion no oh they simply would not understand there was the core and of his trouble understand they did not understand him as it was even when he preached the oldest and most worn out in fact he was often greatly concerned as to whether they in very truth comprehended the christian doctrine at all he sometimes had a glimmering painful sense that they merely accepted it because it was the particular form of approach to the almighty which was ordained to be taught according to the laws of the country and that if by some singular chance were introduced in its stead as the religion of the realm they would accept that with equal alacrity and he had often sounded the members of his flock on the question of their belief because he felt it his duty so to but the answers he had received were for the most part vague and unsatisfactory there was farmer for example the best farmer anywhere about for forty a regular church and an man in every way yet no could honestly say he was once when the reverend had delicately touched on a certain religious matter this very ht e red and mighty of stature bad turned a pair of round eyes upon him and with a slow smile had observed now t ee do it do an t ee do it you minds your church an i minds my plough neither on us ow the a mighty to work us along through a powerful lot o yet worked we are an if we no questions we t be told no lies holy orders then there was mrs a widow with eight young children whose husband had been while working on the railway line which purposely missed altogether on its way to she too was a regular church and when was preparing some of the village lads for confirmation one of her boys had created confusion in the class by suddenly observing please sir mother says she don t see ow god can bear to live all the poor folks die what he s made the had for the time managed to this startling proposition by skilful handling of the that we are all poor sinful souls who are not expected to comprehend the ways of the almighty but he took an early opportunity of mrs on the subject of her son s remark mrs who was washing her children s clothes and whose arms half in and half out of a tub of soap pre a boiled like appearance listened with respectful patience while the quietly and with the greatest kindness pointed out that the thought expressed by master as he was familiarly called was a little yes just a little improper and ought not to have been allowed to find refuge in a child s brain well i said mrs herself up from the wash tub and heaving a short sharp sigh you may be right mr and i you are for it s not my place to with my an i ve never done it but as for thoughts in a child s brain if believe me sir they don t want no for they comes there with no trouble at all and whatever i ve said to tain t as bad as what says to me which i don t put into his ed an if god ever then it s god as is to blame your pardon mr but it s the truth i do assure you here she paused out of breath and wrung her hands free from the soap looked slightly troubled but mrs he argued you are always in church od sundays and you understand the tragedy of a quiet life no that i don t and that i should never wish you sir to think as i did she declared with energy nor ever ave i done so since i was bom an but i takes it as it comes it s all for the best so long as we our in that state of life in which it has pleased god to call us these last words she uttered in the tone of a stage then glancing at the clergyman s kindly clever face she a chair and offered it to him sit down sir she said with quite a air you looks a bit but i do make so bold as to say there s no arm in either me or or any o my the se only just curious sort o little creatures to know the why an the wherefore of everything and they gives trouble to us older folk without of it but they all says their prayers as good as gold and my youngest girl she rs so hard that she s air wore out when she s done an rolls over like a into bed after the amen bless her art i she s but four years old an all her trouble in this life is that old mrs will never get good enough to be an angel think o old mrs that as been a for these many years an is as she goes on an my wants her to be an angel lord lord i ve laughed till i cried over that an irrepressible smile crossed s face a picture of pink as an apple blossom and soft as a praying till she was wore out for crazy as the lads of the village called the ancient female in question was humorous as well as pathetic and surely there was something very purely christian in the child s feeling if she could in her heart | 33 |
brought on by the consumption of his poison with such characteristics as these every one will admit that he was a good and righteous man but he hated the reverend richard and the reverend richard so far as it was possible for a christian minister with human blood in his veins to hate hated him in return mrs a somewhat lady with a voice and an manner detested to use her own expression that odious little woman it was a case of simple cause and effect mrs being pretty and mrs plain mrs being the mother of a boy whose beauty was the wonder of all who beheld him and mrs having produced ugly boy and girl who might for all the good temper and intelligence they showed just as well have never been bom these and other equally reasons kept the two families well apart mrs indeed as a rule the sweetest of sweet creatures could not altogether from giving her pretty head a slight very i of indifference when she happened to pass mrs on the road and mrs made no the tragedy of a quiet life attempt to restrain the very which affected her nose and throat at the merest side glimpse of mrs such being the position of things it followed that there were no real neighbours in the true sense of the word for a man of learning and refinement such as the was for even squire his patron was scarcely to be called though he had plenty of good and shrewd yet the years of his life at had so far been spent in such happiness that he had never thought it possible or likely that he might with a growing mind some day need a growing and that which the intellectual spirit when it finds itself hemmed in on all sides by provincial had not as yet seriously troubled him and its first were only now to pinch him in a warning and not to say and manner are you going to pass all your life in the question put as it were by the mocking voice of some interior demon was asked of him again on this cold march morning when he sat trying to write what he felt could never be written and yet what burning thoughts were in his brain longing to communicate themselves to his motionless pen thoughts of the goodness and majesty of the creator thoughts of the discoveries of science thoughts of the inexhaustible millions upon millions of systems in space thoughts that were like lightning poems singing themselves to his inner consciousness and declaring him to be a living soul a part of god a spark of the divine sent to itself experience and difficulty fix m the imperfect to the perfect state of being the daily papers brought him news of the world s and the paltry of worked up by certain followers of who saw no shame in themselves with the of a cheap and degraded press he recognised the wrong that was being done to the pure teaching of christ and the that was wrought among men by die spread of doctrine he longed to be up and holy orders doing to don the spiritual sword and and go forth with the armies of the lord to preach with no uncertain voice but with a true note clear as a call and to help draw back the social world from the abyss whither he and all deep men could see it visibly hurrying and yet his cure was merely was his business with the rest of the world he had no need to concern himself the wind continued to howl and sigh and he continued to sit in apparent idleness twisting his pen in his fingers and wondering wondering not what he should preach next sunday but rather what he should do with his life he could only live t any rate on this planet and must he make of that once nothing but yet why not he argued with the people here need to be drawn to god need to be taught and helped just as much as the millions out in the wider world sometimes yes sometimes i feel that they in their simple way of accepting without question a faith which they really do not understand are nearer the truth than i am and yet again i cannot but feel sure that the creator meant us to use all our faculties in the comprehension of his sublime intentions towards us and that a merely blind submission is more of an to him than a service at this juncture the door of his study was gently pushed open and a lovely face peered in at him are you very busy dick asked a voice sweet as honey or may i come in just minute he threw down his pen and sprang up from his chair with a quick sigh of relief one minute isn t long enough he declared going to meet his wife as she entered and taking her in his arms come and stay half an hour i want you i want you badly here he looked down into her tender eyes i want a kiss too and he suited the action to the word i ve had a touch of the oh poor boy and put up a little white hand and his cheek you mustn t it s the the tragedy of a quiet life weather i m sure if s the weather and it s all horrid but dick you ll have to go out in the rain i m afraid there s been a very bad fight in the village and that dreadful man has nearly killed his wife isn | 33 |
t it awful she smiled and her eyes with a kind of sparkle whether of tears or laughter it would have been hard to say he loosened her firom his clasp and his face grew pale and stem again he said i must go at once he is a dangerous customer she looked at him as he hastily swept his letters and papers together were you writing your sermon darling she that is i was trying to think about it but really i m afraid my brain isn t as clear as it might be i am not quite sure what i ought to say sometimes and i feel anxious about it almost as if i were not altogether doing my duty oh dick and looked reproachfully amazed how can you say such a thing your sermons are simply bee perfectly lovely you know they are he took her pretty face between his two hands and kissed it again i know nothing of the sort little wife he said i feel myself to be dull and heavy and helpless too that s the worst of it helpless for i cannot keep even firom the public house with this he hurriedly left his study and went out into the ball his wife followed him and watched him rather as he put on his great coat and looked about for his umbrella after all dick she said how can you keep people from the public house as long as has that beer club where everybody who takes a ticket gets a big barrel of beer at christmas all to themselves it s too much to ask of a clergyman that he should be for as well as religion my dear religion and ought to go m i holy orders together and s no getting over the t when men are they have not understood the meaning of religion or else religion has not appealed to them in the way it should do the very to soil himself with so degrading a vice as the is perhaps not under the of the murmured my dear child no reasonable man should allow himself to be by anything or any one it s a sign of weakness and of course a is weak morally and only what i mean is that religion the religion of christ should be able to impress and control the weak as well as the strong now i m oe don t wait luncheon i may be detained he pressed his hat well down over his brows as he opened the street door and faced the bitter driving wind don t stand in the draught he you ll catch cold good bye good bye i come back as quickly as you can she responded and shutting the door after him with a little bang she re entered the house and began to sing softly to herself as she flitted here and there giving graceful touches of her own to the various ornaments about the pretty drawing room re the flowers which were scarce at this season and had to be cared for tenderly and generally amusing herself in her own way before going up to the nursery to the dinner of the ever interesting baby who was now promoted to the dignity of being called by his nurse master master was so named after s father who had been in hb time a notable literary man but who worn out by the patient of great for the benefit of an ungrateful and forgetful world had died more of sheer than anything else some two years before his daughter s marriage had never understood him in the least but in her pretty caressing way she had loved him while his fond of her had amounted almost to when over the learned books he wrote he the tragedy of a quiet life was more delighted than if he had received a column of praise from the most prominent in all the critical world sometimes his poor heart ached a little as he that all his best work must for ever remain a sealed book to this his only child who in her easy lightness of mind and disposition could not comprehend why any one should ever think about anything it s so stupid she would say with a charming all the thinking in the world does no good such crowds of wise men have lived and written all sorts of books and nobody seems a bit the better however when poor died his daughter was as sorry as she was frightened her mother had passed to the better world when she was barely six months old so that this was her first conscious experience of the grim of the king of terrors she hated it she with shuddering fear from the quiet grandeur of her father s form composed rigidly into that slumber from which there is no more in this world she shivered and cried at the solemn black of the funeral and looked like a poor weak little in her heavy mourning gown it was while she was yet in the state that richard first met her at the house of a mutual friend where she had been invited to stay for change and solace after her and she had comforted herself with his love just as a small hurt might comfort itself in the arms of a kind protector it was delightful to find another man ready to pet and make much of her as her late father had done it was all she wanted in life and of the graver duties and of marriage she took no thought richard was kind and nice and not bad looking richard had just got a living and what was best of all richard was | 33 |
perfectly devoted this was her own expression perfectly devoted to her and gradually the effect of her father s death wore off she forgot him more and more completely till when her baby was bom a sudden rush of tender recollection flowed in upon her mind and she said with tears sparkling in her pretty eyes i holy orders we must call him oh yes dick we must call after poor dear old her husband made no objection if it had been her wish to the child it b probable that in his condition of mind he would have consented the name of however seemed to suit the boy with the serious eyes and expression of angel and sometimes who had read many of the books written by the dead whose work his daughter had laughed at wondered whether his spirit had become re in this infant who already looked so wise beyond all earthly years moved by this thought he one day expressed it to his wife i do believe that our will be as clever a man as your father was she uttered a little cry of alarm oh i hope not she said with delightful earnestness it s so dreadful to be clever dick you don t know how dreadful it is nobody likes you i he smiled you quaint woman do you want the boy to be a fool then he couldn t be a fool declared warmly of course he couldn t but i hope he won t be clever if you had known poor you would understand what i mean a clever man is really pitiable object he is dick perfectly pitiable he always wants what he cannot get and he sees everything going wrong and he wants to put it right and of course he put it right not in his way because everybody wants to do it another way and oh it s just awful and he writes and writes and lectures and lectures and gets d and and and dreadful things and never himself one bit how can he richard laughed aloud my dear little wife you re talking at random he said the tragedy of a quiet life oh don t i and covered her shell pink ears with her pretty white hands i don t want to hear anything about mind and soul or imagination i want baby to be just baby and so it was baby at least for the present remained baby and it was only nurse who called him master nurse knew him better even than his parents and had become much impressed by his personal dignity this he showed in various ways of his own for example he disliked all dirty things and was only content with perfect cleanliness certain pictures in the nursery he strove to hide from his eyes with one tiny hand and as this gesture was not quite understood by his elders he managed to up on his cot and tear them down they were not objectionable pictures but they were unnatural that is to say they were nursery pictures of the kind which are called by the of christmas numbers suitable for children there were fat impossible and red faced carrying pale pink dogs in their arms all of which creatures moved master to quiet scorn was always hearing of some curious and original deed on the part of her son but she paid very little attention to any of the signs and symptoms of his possible future mental development all she thought of was that he was baby her own her very own beautiful baby and her chief idea was that he must be fed well and have his own way whenever it was possible this was the business of the day for her the business upon which she set all her energies baby s food baby s brain and baby s thoughts were to use her own frank utter nonsense if asked she would have said with the most charming assumption of maternal wisdom that a child of two has no brain worth considering and no thoughts worth thinking that was her opinion nurse entertained quite a different view of the matter being a trained woman whose life had been spent with children of all sorts sickly and healthy bright and dull and who had studied their moods and holy orders with close and sympathetic attention she was interested in her charge and said of to her own special friends master is a wonderful child he will be a great man but thought no such thing she thought in fact as little about the mental development of her small son as she did of the soul if he had one of the troublesome whose drunken had summoned her husband out of his peaceful study into the wind and rain on this cross and cloudy march morning she was perfectly happy in she had never wanted more than a home a husband and a baby and she had all three nothing further existed in the universe so far as she was concerned and as soon as she had finished the drawing room which was one of the little duties she on herself regardless of the fact that the had always it perfectly beforehand she tripped up to the nursery singing as she went full of a careless gaiety being so happily constituted as to be indifferent to any troubles in which she did not share and after all it is fortunate that the greater majority of women are even as she and that few of them have the finer perception and power to look beyond the circle of their own comfortable surroundings into the speechless miseries of the wider world chapter ii | 33 |
meantime while the pleasures of peaceful and contented reigned in his household the himself was hurrying through the mist and rain to the village not to the ancient stone built part of it but strange to say to the model portion where the cottages were so pretty and so devised with and little separate gardens to each that one would have thought it impossible for any man dwelling in such comfortable quarters to so sur forget himself as to come home drunk at any time of day much less in the morning before twelve o clock however such had been the case with the individual called a huge creature with enormous square shoulders and thick bull head who now leaning his powerful arms folded across the bars of his cottage gate looked up with a drowsy as he saw the approaching two or three other men were hanging about and a little knot of women with over their heads were in the road heedless of the pouring rain talking together their faces expressing a vague and pitiful terror walked straight up to and addressed him at once without what s the matter here he asked in a quiet may i come in the man eyed him over with a stupid you t he replied thickly a s s is castle go way looked at him steadily now you know you don t mean that he said holy orders gently what man you and i are old friends aren t we i heard you wanted me at him suspiciously who told you as i wanted ye he asked my wife did the answered simply come now let me in i want to speak to you privately ye wants to preach at me eh said but ye t do it no not by a long chalk i knows you parson lot beggars all of em i drunk o course i m drunk i what else should i be drunk an in it drunk an in it i there i and he made a thrust his fist into space furiously as though he knocked down an imaginary enemy paused a moment looking round among the group of villagers who stood hanging back ashamed and he said in a low tone is there anything really wrong has he hurt his wife a woman came forward and volunteered the answer yes sir i m afraid so at least as for as we can tell there was words an she ran out o the cottage screaming and then ran in again and then we heard a terrible groan and and we re afraid she s very bad she s in there said suddenly then waking as if from a dull reverie she s ad a good un this time he began to laugh thickly then with a quick change from obstinacy to he removed his arms from the gate come in all of ye if ye likes she s all right come in parson i come in t expected so much company but never mind there ain t no where dan b he gives it fair all round come in he fell back and on one side caught him by the arm you re ill he said kindly with a worse illness than you know keep steady the wretched man stared vaguely at nothing and b an to the tragedy of a quiet life fm or he jack right and as a king you alone he himself free from s hold and staggering up to his own cottage fell heavily on one of the little seats in the porch left him there and pushing open the door went into the cottage itself where the first thing that met his eyes was the unconscious body of a woman face downward on the ground with an exclamation of horror and pity he strove to lift her but in vain then stepping outside the house again beckoned to some of the villagers who were hanging round the place waiting to know the worst they came at his bidding and pressed into the little dwelling past who seemed now to be in a heavy stupor lifting the insensible woman between them they laid her on her bed and then remained in a frightened group staring at the ghastly of blood on her mouth i one neighbour more practical than the rest a and a bowl of cold water bathed the poor creature s forehead and tried to bring her back to consciousness stood by the bedside gazing down upon the pitiful sight with a stem sorrow on his own face this was what the sacred tie of marriage meant to many of the classes this to and degradation of woman by men who when by drink were lower in their passions than the beasts they drove to the pray god she is not dead i he said in a low tone the woman who was bathing the victim s forehead answered in an equally low tone oh no sir i don t think she s dead but she trembled a little as she spoke though lord knows none of us never knows whether well live from week to week the men are goin that wild on s stuff which they drinks at all hours o the day dan was quite a decent chap so i m told till he came here at that moment dan s wife opened her eyes and her poor livid lips into a little smile holy orders don t you dan i she said faintly i know you didn t mean it it was just the drink that drove you to it only the drink for you re the best an finest husband ever woman ad when | 33 |
over which an early yellow nodded its innocent golden besides why should you come back isn t there a man in the village who could keep an eye on him the tragedy of a quiet life not a man who have the to contend with him replied if he wanted to go back to the public house there s no one in the place who would dare hinder him no one who would dare repeated the doctor well no i suppose not he looked again at s slim figure and thoughtful face then he said hurriedly all right i shall be about in the neighbourhood mrs another victim of s fell over with a kettle of boiling water yesterday and her arm so i m looking after her and a few others and by the way there s that young fellow robert hell not last very long now it s galloping consumption and he has not the ghost of a chance i suppose you couldn t say a word about him to the girl s brows darkened the girl is a hopeless character he said slowly hopeless because heartless the doctor gave him a quick glance well you know best about that he said her good looks are almost as great a curse to men as the you ve certainly got enough to do with your mr your work s cut out for you in and no mistake good bye for the present he strode md stood still in the little porch of s cottage smitten by a sudden sharp sense of pain your work s cut out for you in was it so cut out had he not that very morning longed for a wider field of labour his heart ached heavily and a feeling of utter weariness overcame him he looked at the drunken man huddled on the seat dose by with an almost shuddering sense of was the soul of that disgraced human creature really valuable to the almighty creator of heaven and earth before whom our planet itself is but a grain of dust surely it was stretching too fine a point to say it was and yet science with her clear vision and scales of justice declared that not even a grain of holy orders dust was lost in the great scheme of the universe and what and who was he richard that he should presume to set any limit to the minute as well as magnificent intentions of the divine by a quick shame as well as remorse he roused himself from his thoughts and turning towards the half open cottage door gently of the woman within how is mrs now sleeping easy sir thank you and mrs brown wrinkled but kindly of face and brisk in movement came to the door don t you bother no more mr well ave a bit of trouble when dan wakes i shall be here replied quickly so you need not be anxious i m just going to the for a moment and then i ll come back again he smiled cheerily and raised his hat with the courtesy which he invariably showed to all women rich and poor old and young and hurried away home his wife saw him coming from the nursery windows and ran down to open the door with expressions of delight that he had returned so soon it s only for a few minutes he said just give me a cup of soup and a that s all the lunch i want i must go and watch till he she uttered an exclamation of surprise and dismay go and watch she oh dick what are you thinking about that dreadful man why should you it s quite absurd it really is i don t think so he said with mild has nearly killed his wife as it it will be days before she leaves her bed he s now in a heavy stupor when he wakes the first thing he will do is to set off to the public house and i wouldn t answer for hb wife s life to night if he does he must be prevented from drinking any more to day and i m going to prevent him you can t dick said his wife he ll simply the tragedy of a quiet life let him and laughed i i shall be a match for hun if it comes to mrs drooped her pretty head and her lips framed the little that was so eminently but dick she protested i don t really see that it is your business he interrupted her is it my business to prevent murder in the village or is it not he asked almost sternly why do you try to my hands she tried to look penitent but failed you might send for a policeman she murmured and have the wretched drunken brute locked up if i did that he said quietly i should deserve to be locked up myself would when sober very rightly judge me as one of the and he thinks all are no i shall deal with as i would wish to be dealt with myself if i were in his condition oh dear and clapped her hands and gave vent to a little rippling peal of laughter you in that condition fancy you poor gentle good old dick there i m sorry if i ve said anything naughty ill order the soup for you and oh dick baby is simply quite wonderful to day nurse says he is a positive miracle what has he done now and richard his momentary vexation passing threw off his wet great coat and went into | 33 |
but in a fairly straight position and that he was alternately looking at these and at a large coloured text which hung on the wall god is love his baby brow was almost with thought and his little mouth was folded into quite a severe line he studied his straggling blocks with deep earnestness g o d there was a mystery behind them if he could only with it put them together said nurse all together he turned and looked at her she made a movement with her hand so side by side all together his big blue eyes sparkled and he understood soon he had the word clear god that s quite right said the nurse in her soft soothing that s just as it should be god that s like the pretty picture up there god is love and she smiled and nodded at him he gave her a smile but at the same time heaved a small sigh god the word stared him in the face and he folded his hands together and stared back at it again it was a great sign and some dim consciousness of it seemed to affect him the real idea which had taken possession of his brain was that he must try and copy the text on the wall but the holy orders effort had been rather more than he had anticipated he therefore permitted himself to pause and reflect the nurse stopped her busy sewing for a moment and watched him she was one of the yery few women who think seriously about anything and there was a certain in the attitude of the tiny child sitting with closely folded hands opposite that mystic name on which the whole world hangs like a hanging on one of the immortal rose of life god and a child the two are near akin in purity and the words of christ except ye become as little children ye shall not enter the kingdom of heaven are true for all time almost involuntarily the nurse s lips moved in a sudden god bless the dear little soul and make him a good man and for once she did not follow her usual habit of anticipation as to his possibly being a great man a good man seemed the more natural of that small sweet creature absorbed in the study of the name by which he was to know his maker between him and dan she murmured what a difference and even was a little innocent child like that once chapter iii with the passing of the hours the clouds and the rain poured persistently over as though it meant to drown both the old and new village for good and au the brook swelled to a torrent which rattled among the cast away pots and and preserved meat quite an angry volume of sound and the vegetables began to float steadily away on a journey towards the river there to be swept into the clean oblivion of the sea sat just within the open doorway of s cottage looking at the heavy showers which spread a cold grey sheet of wet over the visible scene and in the kindness of his heart felt sorry for himself who still sleeping in the porch was likely to be chilled through by the creeping damp which penetrated to the very bones despite the warmest clothing in truth the man made a miserable picture rolled together as it were in what was more of a stupor than a his breathing was loud and irregular his face was flushed with patches of feverish red and the veins in his thick neck stood out like knotted whip cord the surveyed him anxiously and from time to time glanced at his watch it was three o clock he had been more than two hours at his post and it was only natural that he should feel tired he was tired and he admitted it to himself tired and sick at heart what after all was the good of his remaining beside this hopeless who when he woke would probably only resent his presence holy orders he had no power to persuade he was merely a parson he was not a the was the physical and moral governor of such men as the could compel them to murder or robbery but the minister of christ could not hold them back from the s sway how then how more than feeble seemed the minister of christ what use am i he thought wearily i can read the services i can preach sermons which are i can marry and bury my but i cannot hold one of them back from the public house i i can talk to them of the evils of drink i can put a true scientific analysis of s before oh yes i can do this without the least effect they listen of course they show that outward respect which they consider due to me and having heard all i have to say they straightway forget it and i am not alone in my trouble thousands of men in my calling are attempting the same hopeless task others wearied by their own ineffectual have given it up in despair and are content to met things go and there is always the same old cry in every rural town and village the parson with everybody and everything god knows i do not seek to interfere it is only that if i see human souls rushing blindly to i cannot look on without myself between them and the brink of hell and for that i am likely to be blamed and worse than blamed at that moment the gave a violent start stretching out | 33 |
his arms he entered into a kind of furious struggle with himself in the course of which he opened his eyes and about him like an angry bull he stammered seeing who s who s that the answered gave vent to an inarticulate exclamation and struggled up on to his feet the tragedy of a quiet life the i and standing upright he swayed to and fro g good morning sir good morning responded or rather good afternoon it s three o clock you t think it was as late as that did you was rubbing his hand vaguely over his hair no he said i didn t think twas so myself you ve over drunk yourself man that s what s the matter and stood up face to with him as he spoke and i know be sorry for it you ve hurt your wife very badly my wife stopped his hair and looked ow s that what s the matter come and see and turned into the cottage to follow he did so with a stumbling step and at the first sight of his wife lying in bed with her pale face and closed eyes he became as it were instantly he said in quite a changed voice wrong eh she opened her eyes and her poor thin features were by a smile of love and tenderness dan she held out her arms and as he bent over her she laid them gently round his neck dear dan you didn t mean it i know you didn t it was just the drink that drove you mad for a minute he lifted her up and held her against his breast what did i do tell me did i ye god forgive me did i ye no said his wife bravely only a very little don t you mind ill soon be all right dan but you ll keep away dan won t you you ll keep away from the drink not for my sake but for your own dan it does upset you so kiss me dan he kissed her and laid her down then looked in a be m holy orders way round the room mrs in her duty of nurse had made some tea and she now held out a of that fragrant drink this she said ml do you good and clear your ed of that stuff an you mr you ain t ad no lunch an you must be right down tired will you take a cup thanks very much i will and turned towards her to avoid the pained stare of s eyes and to give him a time in which to the situation stood for a moment as though in doubt then setting the cup of tea down on the table himself heavily into a chair mrs looked at him won t you ave tea dan she asked he made no answer quietly drew another chair to the table and sat down opposite to him better now he said cheerily and nodding towards the little doorway which opened into the adjoining room where mrs lay he added she ll be all right in a day or two if you re careful of her her life depends on you of course you know that her life her life muttered then with a sudden darkening of his features he looked full into s face what i want to know is this how do you to be ere what s your business my business and the flushed slightly and then grew pale my business is to treat you as i would treat my own brother and see that you get into no more mischief oh that s what it is is it and gave a short laugh of incredulity well i m t ye an if ye u be so good as to clear out not ask ye to call again mrs who had been sweeping up the hearth and was now putting a fresh kettle full of water on the fire to boil looked round startled dan she you don t mean that the tragedy of a quiet life l do mean it and brought his fist down heavily on the table with a fierce blow i mean that this ere reverend gentleman t no right to enter my or sit at my table without i im an i t im an i to im gear out i an if e s a man e ll straight i rose quietly all right he said i came as a friend but an the sooner the better said with a kind of angry grin what do i pay rent for a to myself an yet can t keep a busy parson out of it came ere to see me drunk eh well you ve see d it an i you liked it an as for my wife you ve card er say as ow i t er why should i er ain t she my wife why should i go to what s my own do up to j parson an see ow you carries on when the doors is shut do come in an say to your oh my pore woman your s no good an i m coming to look ye no i t an what the devil do you mean by a what no man would do all you re a parson you takes too much on a deal too much an so i tells ye to clear out o this ere afore i makes ye mrs stood as it were rooted to the ground in terror at the tone of this speech accompanied as it was | 33 |
by threatening gestures but maintained a perfectly tranquil you mistake me he said you mistake me altogether but never mind perhaps you ll understand better later on i m sorry you look upon me as an intruder i had hoped otherwise he paused then took his hat and prepared to leave the cottage i wish he continued fixing his brave clear keen eyes on the s sullen countenance i wish i might as your ask you to make me a promise gave a kind of holy orders oh ye may ask anything ye like he muttered don t drink any more poison to day and going up to him laid one hand kindly on his shoulder give me your word you won t and you come as man to man me with a smothered oath sprang up from his chair and seemed about to give vent to a torrent of abuse but meeting s steady appealing gaze full of a sorrowful almost affectionate reproach his head drooped and he gave a forced angry laugh all right i he said for peace an i promise the friendly hand dropped from his shoulder thank you and to morrow see things in quite a different light i m sure stood silent and with an encouraging smile and nod to the visibly distressed mrs left the cottage without another word outwardly composed but inwardly sorely troubled again he felt his own helplessness again he questioned himself as to the usefulness or the utter of the position he occupied when the country s press open discussion of the new theory old as the hills and false as the kiss of that christ was merely a man like ourselves what can be done with people who are only to be held in check by either fear or love of the divine he thought and when medical men unite together under pressure brought to bear upon them by the beer and spirit to pronounce that curse of the country as positively what can the workers for truth and right do our hands are rendered our souls and our hearts in the long and anxious struggle are broken he sighed and walked on rapidly almost unconscious of the pouring rain he had a faint hope that might possibly keep his promise but he could not console himself with it as likely to be a certainty and moved by an impulse the tragedy of a quiet life well he made his way to the smart looking of the model half of the village which was known by the name of the and crow and entered it to the surprise of the proprietor a heavy faced man with red hair who passed most of his time in reading the papers and himself outside hb door in his shirt sleeves can i speak to you for a moment mr he mr smiled an smile certainly you can mr i certainly what can i do for you this afternoon it s very wet for you to be out sure it is wet and looking in at the bar surrounded as it was with shelves full of shining bottles and glasses was bound to admit that so far as outward appearances of comfort were concerned had the best of it in bad weather but i ve been visiting mrs she got rather hurt this morning oh indeed i how was that and mr put on an expression of bland and sympathetic interest her replied the with a straight glance he was mad drunk and knocked her down dear dear and the placid sighed dear dear dear very sad very sad mr went on earnestly it is very sad and very so sad and bad is it that i ve come here myself to tell you that dan is not in a fit state to be given any more drink to day i ve come here to ask as a friend to help me in preventing him from getting any more will you s red face grew i don t know what you mean he began i mean continued that i want you to join hands with me in a good work a work of rescue it s quite simple it won t give you any trouble it s only just this don t sell any more beer or spirits to today if he comes round and asks you for ther refuse him holy orders s little pig eyes almost angrily mr he said with laborious dignity you are evidently not acquainted with public house rules we are bound to supply customers with whatever they ask and pay for it is not our business to whether a man is fit to have beer and spirits if he pays his money we must give him his exchange the drew himself up a trifle more stiffly erect so that if a man is drunk you must make him more drunken he said reproachfully if he is drunk on the premises and himself in a manner i can turn him out said with visible impatience but it s no part of my duty to find out the exact moment when he ss drunk or sober i tell you said the warmly that dan is not in a fit state to be given any more drink to day if he gets it he is likely to commit murder and tell you retorted with equal warmth that i know nothing about it because i haven t seen him since dinner time and don t want to see him he came in here this morning and went away perfectly sober looked at him steadily perfectly sober he you say that perfectly sober perfectly sober i would swear to it before a | 33 |
magistrate bible oath there was a moment s silence then spoke if you swear to that you would swear to a lie he said sternly and as uttered an indignant exclamation he raised his hand with a commanding gesture i repeat you would swear to a lie i your tell you so make the best of it that you can you know that left your premises drunk you know all about the injuries he has inflicted on his wife and you ox y pretend not to know yet to make a few extra pence of profit you will if occasion arises assist this wretched man to poison himself again so that the tragedy of a quiet life whether he is man or beast though no beast that lives is so fallen from self respect as a you and your class might help to the nation of its ruling vice if you would but you will not i you would rather see your die in misery and than one of your gains on the accursed you his breath came and went quickly he was shaken altogether from his ordinary composure mr however was a man who rather liked to anger his give them a rub the wrong way as he himself expressed it and the more justly irritated they became the more stolid was his own attitude his favourite meat was pork and his favourite drink s ale with the result that his physical and mental composition was made up of these two he smiled at what he privately called the s temper i m sorry you take it like that mr he said with you re very hard on us poor you are indeed we ve got to make our little bit of money somehow and if didn t take his glass at the and crow he d take it at the s head so it would be just the same in the long run and there s not a drop of harm in s if it s taken steady could not trust himself to continue the discussion well mr i have told you plainly what i he said and though it s not always wise to express one s thoughts i m not sorry for having done so on this occasion i ve been told that dan was quite a decent fellow before he came to where he cannot walk from one end of the village to the other without passing two and why he pass em demanded with vehemence why does he come inside he isn t pulled neck and crop through the doors the drink isn t forced down his throat it s his own choice and his own doing and if any change is to be worked in him why that s more your business than mine mr holy orders s eyes clouded with a quick sadness you are right he said simply but i am aware of my own i can do very little he said no more then and left mr to his own meditations which were rather of a mixed nature like most of the inhabitants of had a certain respect for the but every now and again this respect was drowned by a touch of contempt for his softness the phrase which so greatly irritated the s pretty wife why don t he let things alone and go easy he t now as he drew for himself a glass of the and drank it down with infinite look at himself now i he s a standing example to the community t he don t touch a drop of his own liquor drinks nothing but water and lets those that like his beer have it at a fair price and so makes his money out of it that s what i call common sense as for or any one else getting drunk that s nobody s business and nobody s fault such was his argument the common argument held by most people the fact that one human being is always more or less for the good or evil affecting his fellow human beings is not by the majority each thinks that its companion stands or ought to stand alone and it needs a profound insight as well as a most sympathetic intelligence to see how all the are really linked together by threads of cause and effect threads which slowly but surely them into or nations which according to their national merits rise or fall one man influences the other by word thought and deed though every man responsibility for his brother man lest it should bring himself into trouble but it was the full consciousness of such responsibility and the serious acceptance of it that moved richard to a sense of deep sorrow when he reflected that he a man of good education and placed in a position of religious authority to guide teach and control those who were set under his charge could do the tragedy of a quiet life by the demon of drink i and he through the village wearily his face growing almost haggard under the pressure of feeling wondering whether he should or should not risk a call at the ram s head which the other half of and see if he could lodge a warning there but i shall only get the same answer if i do he thought i shall be told i have no business to interfere and after all that s true enough my business is only the saving of souls for heaven but apparently i may not hinder souls from going to hell through drink inasmuch as their loss is gain to the national so he mused conscious of his own bitter feeling yet unable to look at | 33 |
the position in any other light he was within a few steps of the ram s head public house and he brought himself to a sudden hesitating as to whether he should enter it or not in a moment of a tall girl with a graceful figure and a shawl flung carelessly over her head came out and faced him with a smile rather a wet afternoon sir she said he looked at her silently something in his straight glance confused her for she coloured crimson then the deep blush slowly faded leaving her pale yet still smiling and she lifted her head with an air of haughty self assertion as though she sought to express the fact that not only was she but that she well knew the power of her beauty understood her gesture he had seen it often miller did not spare him any more than she spared other men a clergyman was no more to her than a day she was willing to make fools of both and she knew that her physical charms exercised a strange and not always influence upon the male sex generally certainly no one save the most and of critics could have denied that she was perfectly lovely an artist would have delighted to draw the exquisite oval of her face and to paint the dark liquid lustre of her eyes fringed as they were by long lashes and over arched by the most delicately well shaped holy orders brows her mouth rosy as a seemed framed for the utterance of sweet words and her tiny even teeth white as milk made her look when she smiled as she was smiling now said the gravely were you in there in where he pointed to the ram s head you know what i mean he said his voice shaking a uttle you are only a girl the public house is no place for you she gave a little shrug oh don t you worry about me mr she retorted i m all right i can take care of he said nothing for a moment she looked at him curiously and with a touch of compassion you re wet through mr i am i he answered i didn t know it she moved a step or two closer with a fascinating air of gentle i haven t been drinking mr she said in a low tone i haven t really sir here she raised her wonderful eyes to his face i wouldn t vex you for the world i know you re set against the drink and i d like to please you would you indeed and he shook his head doubtfully well perhaps you would i don t know i would i would really and gazed at him with a sweet frankness that startled him what do you want me to do with a kind of he from her why in heaven s name he thought had this girl been made so beautiful that no man not even the strongest could look at her without admiration i want nothing of you he said with studied coldness except more of character you say you were not drinking god grant you were not if you wished to please me you would be kinder and more the tragedy of a quiet life of others whom you have wronged bob for example the matter with bob she asked putting hack her shawl a little more from her and by accident or design showing the luxuriant of her rich brown hair on her head in the of a he is dying said the gently and he wants to see you again he loved you very much i m afraid he did sl murmured with a quick sigh i couldn t help it could i she lifted her eyes again with a flashing in their radiant depths he gave a slight gesture of you need not have encouraged him he said stiffly you led him on to believe you would marry him marry him she laughed i i shall never marry any one in he looked at her vaguely perplexed here was a creature ed with magnificent physical health and superb beauty a girl of radiant loveliness in the full morning of her womanhood were all her powers of charm and conquest to be limited to he found himself asking the same question for her as he had asked for himself is she to pass all her life in suddenly she spoke again i ve heard all about the row this morning she said dan nearly killed his wife and tell you one thing mr he shan t get any more drink to day i ll prevent that the s face cleared and he was conscious of a great relief will you but how can you nodded mysteriously leave it to me ill manage him i her little teeth gleamed again like pearls between the red of her lips he s a fierce brute is dan but i can keep him in order was too keen a man not to perceive that there was some circumstance her words with which he was so holy orders not acquainted he was a little troubled but to press for the if you have any influence over him he said at last hesitatingly you will be doing a kindness to his wife as well as to himself if you can keep him away firom die he gave me his promise that he would not drink any more to day his promise isn t worth a penny i said contemptuously i don t believe any man alive what a promise means but see he s all right and as you wish | 33 |
it s hard to say it but i may as well tell you then he ordered me out of his house and of course i had to go s blue eyes opened wide to go she oh dick how could you how could i stay he retorted my dear child no man has a right to stay in another man s house against that other man s will unless he s a man in possession and he laughed a little as long as pays his rent he s master of his own roof tree and he is not called upon to either welcome or entertain an guest but a clergyman the of the parish she exclaimed not even a clergyman has the right to stay in a s house if he is told to go he said quietly there s a great deal of harm done by district visiting and by the thrusting of religious tracts on people who don t want to read them when you come to think of it it s the height of impertinence for any man or woman either to walk into a house and offer advice to persons who haven t asked you for it s pretty eyebrows went up in perplexity i can t understand you dick said isn t it just what you ve done to day haven t you been all this time with and gone without your lunch and got wet through and made everything ite uncomfortable and now you say you t to have done it he smiled amused at the she chose to make of the position i j ta b i holy orders no i don t say i ought not to have done it in this case he said was with drink and i feared that he might attack his poor wife a second time had he shown signs of doing so i should have been there to prevent it but he woke partially and i think sorry for his violence at any rate he treated his wife very gently when he saw how ill she was that being the case i was not i should have liked to talk to him a little but he was not in the humour i did ask him to promise me not to take any more drink to day and he promised and told you to go finished indignantly the horrid brute and you went i oh dick i what a dreadful loss of dignity for you s gravity g ve way at this and he laughed with all the of a boy dreadful i he agreed positively awful i was like a beaten hound or rather more like a drowned rat when i met miller her pretty red lips together where did you meet her she asked hesitated well he said at last i m sorry to say she was just coming out of the ram s head his wife looked whole volumes at him and yet you really think she may wish to be a better girl she ejaculated you really think so his face grew suddenly serious i will not say i really think so he answered but i really hope so a silence followed glanced at him now and then in a somewhat way and once or twice her lips moved as though she wished to say something but she checked herself with an effort he was quietly enjoying his tea and if she knew any item of parish news that might have worried him she was not going to trouble him with it just then she took out a dainty looking piece of silk the tragedy of a quiet life she made a very pretty picture seated in her low easy chair by the fire and her husband s eyes rested upon her with fond admiration the glowing beauty of miller faded from his memory like the brief blaze of a in mid air and a sense of deep tranquillity soothed his mind after au he thought why should he not be perfectly content with his life at why should he dream of wider fields of labour if his power was insufficient to persuade one to abandon his why should he imagine himself capable of a larger and more intelligent audience to reform one man thoroughly would be a better piece of work than to try to reform and if he failed in the smaller task he was bound to fail equally in the larger he ought so he assured himself to be perfectly satisfied the position he occupied he had a comfortable living a delightful home and a pretty wife and child his domestic bliss was perfect and he was sole monarch of his little kingdom with just such and on a lesser scale as all whether spiritual or have to contend with there was in strict reason nothing that should make him either restless or dissatisfied was his god appointed place in the world and i must not he said to regard it as too narrow a field of labour there is plenty to be done and i am bound to try and do if at that moment his wife spoke how was miller looking she asked suddenly he started out of his reverie how was she looking just the same as usual very beautiful s needle flew swiftly again like a gleam of light over her and she asked no more questions r chapter iv the next day the had somewhat cleared and a pale tearful looking sun struggled to shine through of mist which rising from the spread themselves in thin grey through the valleys and hung doubtfully in air as they reached the summit of the hills there was a latent possibility | 33 |
of fine weather according to some sagacious remarks proffered by the oldest of a venerable gentleman who like the wooden in a certain make of clock only outside his door when the rose and promptly back again when it fell old mortar bricks and mortar as he was sometimes good but called by a few of his acquaintances was allowed considerable license in the utterance of his opinions on all matters good bad or indifferent not only because nobody minded what he said but also because he was in his ninety second year and as he himself was wont to remark if a man ain t to a bit when he s nigh on a when is he to at all anyway this argument was held to be wholly he therefore to his heart s content and he had almost if not quite forgotten the long long long ago when as he had been a celebrated and player renowned for his of strength throughout the whole district sometimes if any one ventured to remind him of those days the of a smile would pass over his brown and deeply wrinkled and he would wave away the as though it were a in his ear the tragedy of a quiet life ay he would murmur i was a sharp i t them as knows can tell one other r this was an utterance not always to the rustic mind but it was mortar s way so his said mortar s way of any subject he did not care to talk about as a rule however he was very fond of talking so much so that if he had no one else to talk to he talked to himself in a neatly grey linen frock with a straw hat which he had made with his own hands pressed well down over his rather long straggling white hair and leaning on a stout stick with a shepherd s handle his figure was a picturesque and part of the life of and to see him at the threshold of his cottage was like the sign of the wooden in the clock an of what the villagers called a spell o sunshine and in accordance with the dock theory he had on this particular morning just out and now stood peering up and down the village street with a kind of half cunning childish curiosity the while he murmured under his breath gray fine day ay ay the wet keep keep a bit an at dinner time well have a bit o blue sky a bit o blue sky here he smiled and chuckled do a power o good a power o good it will like a bit o blue at that moment a woman came out of the neighbouring cottage to shake a small much worn hearth rug it was mrs the same lady with whom the had held such serious converse respecting the tendencies of her son mr she said out early y are wonderful active for your time o life i how s you me responded the never better i thinks i m a younger as i older if it t for my l s ah it s the legs as gives and mrs with a resigned sigh shook a volume of dust out of her hearth rug which blowing towards poor old bricks and mortar got into i holy orders his nose and eyes and caused him to violently and why the lord made us with legs which is ever to give don t know a little extra muscle an strength put in to make em last longer wouldn t ave upset no one in the i m sure when my second boy as is gone but seven out is legs in is bath an e want no i to myself bless im let im kick while e can an upset all the water for the days is when e ll be that stiff an as e can t kick no more so don t be ard on im now here she shook the hearth rug again is your ye or will i bring ye in for breakfast the old man raised a trembling hand to his straw hat and taking it off waved it with an air of speechless courtesy thank ye thank ye kindly my does all i want he answered she s a good she don t let me miss thank ye all the same here he broke a little startled at the sudden sight of miller who came round a comer and strolled up to him in a casual way nodding and smiling bricks and mortar how are you she said he looked at her but did not answer i ve been up all night she went on addressing herself more to the air than to either of her listeners taking care of mrs oh indeed i and mrs gave a kind of did she know who it was bein so kind to er laughed and yawned i don t think she did mrs turned round and went into her cottage giving her door a slight bang as she closed it laughed more loudly she s shut me out she said stretching her arms and yawning again as if i wanted to go in you wouldn t shut me out would you mortar dear the old man held up his hand in a kind of feeble the tragedy of a quiet life shut ye out shut ye out he my if ye go on as ye re goin yell be shut out altogether not on the but in ye be those things which ye t to do an ye knows it ye poor mis able go an tell parson what ye re at make a clean breast of it an god rested her | 33 |
two hands on her and looked at him with an indulgent scorn you old fool she said you re your time mortar i god helps those that help themselves with a smile that parted her red lips in a line of sweetness she moved away the old man thrust out a shaking hand and caught her by her sleeve where s where s dan he stammered she flushed her dark laughing eyes over him where s dan with his wife of course where should he be humming a tune she sauntered on d as she went the sim came out with a of gold shedding a radiance across her path as though she were some favoured goddess of the mom the old man shaded his eyes from the sudden brilliancy a bit o blue i he i said there d be a bit o blue i but there s more clouds by an bye more dark clouds a woman s voice called him from his cottage just then and turning away from the street he indoors the bit o blue in the sky and the hanging began to roll up and disappear a a hopeful strain among the boughs of an ancient elm tree which occupied a prominent position near the middle of the village street and a genial sense of brightness began to warm and the atmosphere up at the this cheering gleam of sunshine was sufficient to put the s light hearted wife in the best of spirits she laughed she she sang she played with baby like a o holy orders baby herself and succeeded for more than the time in creating around her that particular of gaiety and charm which not only delighted her husband but also in a sense him though he would have been the last man in the world to admit such an expression as in any way the situation nevertheless it was a that sometimes when he heard s rippling laugh and her oft repeated cry of oh dear to her in nt son and also when he caught of her voice singing those songs which as base of genuine are so much in with an age whose very sentiment is only part of its sham he was apt to put his hand to his head in rather a perplexed way and make an effort to collect his thoughts lest they should become scattered too far for logical and reasonable on any given subject it was sweet to hear laugh sweet too was her little caressing exclamation of oh baby dear even the imitation songs had their fascination but and the big but that came in here could not be got over easily it was a but that action like a stone wall in the way of a chariot race and yet he could not have put into exact words why the but should so itself surely he did not want bright brilliant pretty to be serious and no most certainly not any such change in her he would have regarded with a real concern as of failing health yet to be quite frank with himself he owned to his inner consciousness that there was something he missed in his life but what it was he could not tell and he set his feeling down to his own great selfishness and ingratitude and blamed himself heartily for these two most and unworthy sins hundreds of men would gladly change places with me he thought poor working in the east end of london from home and country working among hostile for the cause of christ even country many of them clever men utterly cast away in villages the tragedy of a quiet life i glad if they could be as i am i understand my own restlessness it is a foolish state of mind of which i am heartily ashamed and he was more than usually affectionate to his wife when she came to him dressed in a neat dark blue costume with a fascinating little up felt hat to match and stated with a small sigh that she was now going to visit mrs i think the weather has cleared she said and i ve got my boots on so i shan t get my feet wet it s no good taking anything to read to her b it dick i m such a reader he laughed and slipping an arm round her waist looked at her with indulgent tenderness you don t like doing this sort of thing i m afraid he said not very much she admitted with a of her eyes you see the people themselves don t like it unless they re very very fond of you i don t think they re a bit fond of me i m sure they re not i ought to be different quite different to really please them in what ray he asked still smiling well to b in with i ought to be able to talk about horrid things quite horrid things she said with a earnestness and for instance they hue those now mrs she has a bad you know she has well she likes to talk about it and she will talk about it oh ever so long she tells you when it began to be bad and how it went on and how it is now and i try to be interested but i can t and mrs was quite pleased when she heard that mrs s eldest son had died she really was she said that he had six silver and one picture and she wondered how the would be divided and who would get the picture and when i asked her what the picture was like she said she | 33 |
didn t think it was like anybody in particular it was just a man and a cow in a sunset but it had been in the family a long time stopped to laugh then with twinkling eyes she went on and holy orders really dick i am so silly with these people i never know what to say to them because i think it perfectly detestable to count up silver when a poor man is lying dead and it seems to me just to dwell on bad legs and and then there are the babies oh dear here she paused and grew suddenly of course i ought to be immensely interested in them having one of my own but i don t think i ve got the real mother spirit no don t laugh dick i really don t think i have because all the women in the village talk quite differently about babies to the way talk was amused well of course he said you can t expect them to have your pretty little fancies can you their lives are different to b in with and it s wonderful yes when you come to think of it it is wonderful that there should be so much deep sentiment and real tenderness among them you know they often love their children much more than people in our class do opened her eyes very wide at this oh tm sure she declared no one could possibly love any baby more than i love mine no dear i didn t say any one could and checked a slight sigh but you spoke of the mother spirit and you said or you implied that the women in the village had a different feeling about it to yours now i think it is just the same beautiful divine only by different natures it is expressed differently she her brows in a little line of perplexity that sounds like poor dear dreadfully solemn and learned she said but what i mean is that the village women talk about all the little matters connected with and th e ah at him very things things x are not and dean to talk about those are what the village love to discuss by the hour of is to io the tragedy of a quiet life of the children dick but their mothers don t really care a bit about that what they about all the time are their he put his two hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes come come have we even we thought much as yet of the soul of our wonderful baby she coloured a little then laughed oh but s too young too tiny altogether she said it would be nonsense to talk about his poor little soul you think so and he loosened his gentle hold of her well i m not quite sure about that i think i often see a soul neither little nor poor looking out of s big blue eyes a soul so pure and sweet that i tremble at my own responsibility for its security in this world he spoke with such grave earnestness that she was a little abashed a silence fell between them then after a minute or two she said in a meek small voice i think i d better go now to see mrs yes do go while the weather keeps fine he answered affectionately it won t take you much time because of course you mustn t stay long with her she s not well enough for that i you ll meet doctor harry if so just ask him if she s going on all right nodded and left the room her husband went to the window and watched her along on the dainty high shoes which she called her over the gravel of the garden paths till her figure disappeared behind a screen of laurel bushes then he sealed himself at his desk to work poor woman he murmured tenderly it must be rather dull for her here sometimes she ought to have a not a poor country clergyman she was made for the graceful pleasures and of the world not for die plain routine of yet love is said to make even a desert blossom like the rose and i l i holy orders think she loves me i m sore she does god knows i love her more than my life in this assertion he used no exaggeration it was the exact and simple his nature was deeply affectionate and the and of a were worth nothing as compared with the intense and faithful passion of this quiet self contained man whose love was not for the uncertain glory of an april day but for all time and as he hoped and devoutly believed for all eternity as well if some profound in the strange of human sympathies had pointed out to him that an eternity passed with s little butterfly soul might possibly be insufficient to satisfy all his stronger immortal aspirations he would have been grieved and indignant for one of the finest attributes of true love is that it sees no and no in the beloved object thanks to this gentle blinding power he was unable to look too far into the future save with those imaginative eyes which always behold beautiful things destined never to be but which in their visionary prospect serve to charm and the mind keeping it patient and hopeful while that divinity which shapes our ends our hardest and most needful lessons perhaps if he could have seen sitting by the bedside of the unhappy mrs with her pretty little | 33 |
face set in a line of rigid offence and her whole attitude expressive of virtue he might have felt a certain as to whether she was endowed with that delicate and sure instinct which he fondly fancied was the special of her woman s nature an instinct fine enough to know when pity is resented and advice unwelcome and therefore wisely to either in most village the visits of the clergyman s wife or the district lady are regarded by the working classes with considerable and when one comes to think of it there is really something very impertinent in the idea that e a man or woman is poor and lives in a small cottage he or she is therefore to be the tragedy of a quiet life noses into homes that do not belong to them and ask questions of a personal nature on matters which are none of their business one wonders how mr would like it if the wife of the reverend mr a bo walked into his residence and said i hope you keep your rooms clean and tidy remember cleanliness is next to or you must read your bible every day my good man let me leave you this little tract on the vanity of riches as a matter of fact no clergyman s wife and no district visitor would dare to so insult a rich man then must the poor man be insulted simply because he is poor does wealth alone hold the key to the church s respect if so then the second coming of christ will be the church s fortunately for herself pretty mrs did not take this point of view at all into her consideration she was the s wife and in that position felt that her visits to the were necessary whether the liked her presence in their houses she did not pause to when she entered mrs s cottage she half expected to see the master of it the dan himself but he was not there and mrs still at her post as nurse to her suffering neighbour stated that he d bin gone to his day s work since six in the i hope he was sober said severely oh yes ma am he was quite sober he s a fine man when he s all right is dan i s only the drink as drives him wild miller sat up with him ere all night an he s bin as quiet as a lamb gave a little gasp she bit her lips as though to keep in some imminent expression of thought from rash utterance and then she hurriedly entered the adjoining room where mrs lay the sight of the sick woman in her bed pale and motionless rather frightened and she hung back awed by the aspect of the still face on the pillow with the eyes and the brown hair swept back from the holy orders hollow temples it was a resemblance or image of death which was not pleasant to contemplate at last mrs she m a nervous little voice i came to see how you were i do hope you re better mrs opened her eyes and for a moment stared then a faint smile brightened her pallid features it s mrs is it she whispered weakly thank ee ma am i m better much better i ll soon be about again here her eyelids drooped and she moaned wearily took a chair and sat down by the bedside i m afraid you re badly hurt she that dreadful husband of yours is very cruel to you mrs s eyes opened again quickly my she echoed dan dan cruel oh no ma am don t you believe it dan s the best man ever woman ad there s no one like dan in this world to me gave a little shrug of impatience how can you say such a thing i she continued why he has knocked you about most look how ill you are and yet you say he s the best man ever woman had so he is when he s away from the drink ma am and mrs moved by a sudden energy lifted herself up a little on her pillows and e didn t mean to me i know he didn t but ed ad one glass on top of t other an is poor ed was all a like an e struck out at the first thing e saw which to be me an all i should a know d better than to stand in is way that s all ma am an if you ll tell mr that dan s all right i ll be real glad for i wouldn t ave the o the parish think ill of im her voice failed her and tears stood in her eyes was sorry for her but at the same time remained more or less i can t understand you at all she said the tragedy of a quiet life it seems to me so strange that you should care for a man like that it shouldn t seem strange to you ma am you bein a wife an mother yourself and mrs let her head sink gently back again on her pillow no man s ever like the man you ve loved day and night an been to in body an soul an if ye d seen dan in ere last night back an for on me and an foot an all e could for me you d a said what a kind art e ad for all b little faults o drink an temper an e sent mrs away ome to rest for she was fair tired out poor thing an e got one of the village in to | 33 |
an sat up all night in the next room an lest i should want for one of the girls of the village came in to help you say and looked at her with gravely compassionate eyes do you know which girl it was no ma am i don t and mrs sighed i was that sleepy an wore out that it was no matter to me who came or went so long as dan was by it was miller said she sat up here with your husband all night and you actually didn t know it t oh this exclamation was uttered with shocked i call it perfectly mrs her eyes round upon her visitor i don t quite follow ye ma am she said in tremulous accents what s the shameful part of it oh well and gave a kind of hopeless gesture with her neatly little hands you re too ill to talk just now but when you re better you really ought to know exactly how things stand you really ought i m quite able to hear anything as i ought to know now ma am and mrs anxiously watched s pretty face that looked so young and kind and expressive of a thoughtful spirit an it s better you should say just what s in you mind rather than have me like began to feel a little nervous holy orders no ma am not if your happy oe was the oe of an angel from i wouldn t believe the lie you re me it s a poor thing for a parson s wife to pick up all the gossip in a village an take it for gospel an there s against my that hear from ye ma am thou you re a lady an i m only a poor woman her breath caught in a half sob but she struggled with herself and went on my dan s as true as steel to me ma am and only s stuff as im a bit now an then an as for miller dan knows as well as we all knows that she s a an stray without nor mother an only an old as doesn t care what becomes of er an there s a devil in the poor only be got out by pain an sorrow she ll get all her troubles soon enough for looks brings evil deeds so if my dan s kind to er a bit now and i m not for it here her voice broke in a sudden plaintive wail and she gave vent to a passionate burst of weeping burying her face in the pillow and crying weakly oh dan my man i you couldn t be false to me i no not you dan was speechless and utterly dismayed who would have thought a common woman would have taken the suggestion of her husband s like this an educated lady would have behaved quite differently and would have shown the indignation and scorn necessary for the assertion of her own proper pride herself for example if she had heard that her richard was carrying on as the vulgar phrase puts it with another woman she would have left him yes she was quite sure so she said to herself that she would have left him she would never have forgiven him the common woman s way of loving was totally beyond her she did not know what to make of it she stood by the bedside helplessly unable to any sympathy or consolation and she began to feel rather sorry for herself then she took refuge in the ever standing of feminine it s always the way she thought if you want to help the tragedy of a quiet life these kind of people you must never tell them anything that will really be for their good they re not a bit pleased i did hope i might be able to save the poor thing from being deceived any more but it s no use she believes in her husband and merely thinks me a liar her cheeks burned with offence at this idea and while she yet hesitated as to whether she should speak again or take an abrupt departure mrs appeared in the doorway and beckoned to her better come away now ma am she said rather you ve said enough moved a few steps then paused good bye mrs and she waited for an answer but none came i do hope soon be all right with this she stepped into the adjoining kitchen where mrs confronted her the little brown faced wrinkled hard working woman s eyes were full of tears i m sorry ma am she said i m sorry as you should ave said to about dan s on with miller we was all for of it till was well got over here she wiped her eyes with her apron it ll kill it will was completely taken for a moment then she rallied herself with a pretty of the usual offended virtue what do you mean she asked with a touch of you know that it is impossible that such a wicked thing can go on in this parish without everybody knowing it and everybody does know it except the poor deceived wife herself and the ma am your good ie don t know it said mrs trembling a for he s that kind an gentle as he don t suspect arm in no man an no woman either an we was all in a band like to try and manage so as he should never know an that it shouldn t be a to im an one of us was goin to take away by and bye | 33 |
an nobody would a bin a bit the wiser holy orders were all in a plot to deceive the i in indignantly just to screen a bad girl and x man oh it s most dreadful and you id and take communion i what an i thing it may seem awful to you ma am and mrs raised her keen shrewd grey eyes and fixed them steadily on s for you see you re a lady an an and well cared for an you re not supposed to know die ins an of sorrows an sins dan s a man say he s a good man spoilt by the drink an he s got no old now over at all an he s as mad for as he is for s poison there ain t no for it no oat can hold im an the herself go to any man good or bad that s er nature an we poor folks sees ow it i an we makes the best of a bad business an all we sa let s try to save the wife as ain t done no arm an keep the parson quiet so as e shan t fret over it an now an how i prevent myself telling her exclaimed with some excitement especially when you said her husband had sat up all last night with miller in this very and she poor deceived thing i lying ill in the next loom and left them together you actually went home and left them together dan put me out said mrs quietly an if i gone he d a throw d me out he was sober enough but be was wild to be with she came up at innocent like an said she d promised parson to take care of im an i knew she d keep im from the drink an there couldn t be no more arm done than was done already stared her cheeks alternately flushing and you mean she began i mean that s got into trouble with dan said mrs an that it s no good over milk as i told ye ma am we was goin to get quietly out o die village presently an would never ave known the tragedy of a quiet life and you would have deceived everybody s eyes sparkled with indignation as she said this you were all in a positive conspiracy to hide this dreadful thing from your own and you didn t think it wrong mrs sighed a little no ma am she confessed at last i m afraid none of us thought it wrong you see we ve all liked an we wanted to spare er more sorrow an she s ad er share was silent the position was to her quite terrible and incomprehensible here was z hopelessly bad girl in trouble according to the common and significant expression with a hopelessly bad man and yet a whole village was apparently sworn to silence about it on of the pain it would cause to the bad man s suffering wife was there ever anything more where she asked herself was the morality of these people where indeed where the christianity stop christianity was an uncomfortable an awkward suggestion perhaps only perhaps of course the villagers had a vague conception or shall we say of christ s words if ye forgive not men their neither will your heavenly father forgive you your but it was all wrong all very wrong so vaguely repeated to herself over and over again the while mrs stood looking at her in a curious half way wondering what this pretty bright eyed golden haired clergyman s wife was thinking of and its people and it was mrs who first spoke again i suppose ma am yell be the all about it now she said and her lips trembled an if ye do i m afraid be trouble i m sure there can be no more trouble than there is already answered very coldly naturally i do not intend to keep anything a secret from my husband he ought to know of this wretched shameful scandal in his and of course he will deal with it in the proper way holy orders then you were all in a plot to deceive the interrupted indignantly just to screen a bad girl and a wicked drunken man i oh it s most and you come to church and take communion i what an an i thing it may seem awful to you ma am and mrs raised her keen shrewd grey eyes and fixed them steadily on s face for you see you re a lady an you re yoimg an and well cared for an you re not supposed to know the ins an of sorrows an sins dan s a bad man i d rather say he s a good man spoilt by the drink an he s got no old now over at all an he s as mad for as he is for s poison there ain t no for it no one can hold im an the herself go to any man good or bad that s er nature an we poor folks sees ow it is an we makes the best of a bad business an all we is let s try to save the wife as ain t done no arm an keep the parson quiet so as e shan t fret over it an now you comes an tells how could i prevent myself telling her exclaimed with some excitement especially when you said her husband had sat up | 33 |
all last night with miller in this very kitchen and she poor deceived thing lying ill in the next room and you left them together you actually went home and left them together dan put me out said mrs quietly an if i t gone he d a throw d me out he was sober enough but he was wild to be with she came up at im innocent like an said she d promised parson to take care of im an i knew she d keep im from the drink an there couldn t be no more arm done than was done already stared her cheeks alternately flushing and you mean she began i mean that s got into trouble with dan said mrs an that it s no good over an as i told ye ma am we was go in to get out o the village presently an would never nor parson neither holy orders then you were all in a plot to deceive the interrupted indignantly just to screen a bad girl and a wicked drunken man oh it s most and you come to church and take what an an i thing it may seem awful to you ma am and mrs raised her keen shrewd grey eyes and fixed them steadily on s face for you see you re a lady an you re young an and well cared for an you re not supposed to know the ins an of sorrows an sins dan s a bad man i d rather say he s a good man spoilt by the drink an he s got no old now over at all an he s as mad for as he is for s poison there ain t no for it no one can hold im an the herself go to any man good or bad that s er nature an we poor folks sees ow it is an we makes the best of a bad business an all we is let s try to save the wife as ain t done no arm an keep the parson quiet so as e shan t fret over it an now you comes an tells how could i prevent myself telling her exclaimed with some excitement especially when you said her husband had sat up all last night with miller in this very kitchen and she poor deceived thing i lying ill in the next room and you left them together you actually went home and left them together dan put me out said mrs quietly an if i t gone he d a throw d me out he was sober enough but he was wild to be with she came up at im innocent like an said she d promised parson to take care of im an i knew she d keep im from the drink an there couldn t be no more arm done than was done already stared her cheeks alternately flushing and you mean she began i mean that s got into trouble with dan said mrs an that it s no good over milk an as i told ye ma am we was goin to get quietly out o the village presently an would never ave known the tragedy of a quiet life and you would have deceived everybody s eyes sparkled with indignation as she said this you were all in a positive conspiracy to hide this dreadful thing from your own and you didn t think it wrong mrs sighed a little no ma am she confessed at last i m afraid none of us thought it wrong you see we ve all liked an we wanted to spare er more sorrow an she s ad er share was silent the position was to her quite terrible and incomprehensible here was a hopelessly bad girl in trouble according to the common and significant expression with a hopelessly bad man and yet a whole village was apparently sworn to silence about it on of the pain it would cause to the bad man s suffering wife was there ever anything more where she asked herself was the morality of these people where indeed where the christianity stop christianity was an uncomfortable an awkward suggestion perhaps only perhaps of course the villagers had a vague conception or shall we say of christ s words if ye forgive not men their neither will your heavenly father forgive you your but it was all wrong all very wrong so vaguely repeated to herself over and over again the while mrs stood looking at her in a curious half way wondering what this pretty bright eyed golden haired clergyman s wife was thinking of and its people and it was mrs who first spoke again se ma am ye ll be the all about it aid and her lips trembled an if ye do i m trouble there can be no more trouble than there is p very coldly naturally i do w anything a secret from my husband he m lis wretched shameful scandal in h will deal with it in the proper way holy orders then you were all in a plot to deceive the interrupted indignantly just to screen a bad girl and a wicked drunken man oh it s most and you come to church and take what an ot thing it may seem awful to you ma am and mrs raised her keen shrewd grey eyes and fixed them steadily on s face for you see you re a lady an you re young an and well cared for an you re not supposed to know the ins an | 33 |
a lady well out of arm s way an safe with a good o your own but for us poor women it s like the let loose when dan s at his worst gave a little movement of impatience and disgust he s a brute she said he t always a brute and mrs gave a sigh afore e came to i ve tell e was a fine workman down by way but e thought to better by up ere where squire the tragedy of a quiet life gives good wages for work on of course ere e finds two as to is mouth as the village pump and an so e goes from good to bad as easy as a child downstairs it s the drink ma am it s but the drink as is the curse o the whole village shrugged her graceful shoulders and raised her pretty eyebrows as one who despised the contemptible weakness of the whole human race but she said nothing on the subject simply because she knew very well there was nothing to say the drink question was and is one of these inexhaustible topics on which both parliament and press discourse perpetually in the most obvious and worn out it is a national evil which is for ever being in the most rounded periods by gentlemen who at the same time do all they can to increase the profits obtained by the sale of to the million and who while they nobly the of the people forget to equally the equally and criminal of those same by such of their friends in the house of who are and it is all very well to blame the people for drinking poison but the worst of the evil is with the national government which not only allows poison to be made and sold freely but which actually the sale and not rewards some of the chief with and other titles of honour pretty for instance was not half or quarter as rich in this world s goods as ugly mrs the s wife yet s husband was a good and honest man and mrs s better half was a fraud why then should fortune or providence appear to favour fraud more than honesty this was the purely personal question which put to herself by way of an comment on mrs s it was no use she said inwardly no use at all for richard to take parish matters so much to heart for improvement was impossible so long as two public houses the village was the supreme ruler of the holy orders place and its inhabitants and for a a man of god to contend with a man of was as if an should contend with an it is a great pity she said at last after a pause that the people are not sensible enough to see where drink is bound to lead them and that they do not try to be better if they denied themselves a little and prayed to god to help them she hesitated here and coloured a little she had a kind of instinctive feeling that her words were but wasted breath ah and mrs shook her head god don t do much good man s the woman who s been all night on er knees a an a god to keep er man from drink an ten to one come ome and fetch er a blow on the ed for set up for im marriage ain t all a bed o roses ma am an i often thinks when we for better for worse at the altar we ve not much notion what the worse is like or we d ourselves afore we ever got married at all there goes now moved by a quick curiosity mrs went to the cottage window and peeped out the sun was shining brightly by this time and on the opposite side of the road miller was walking dressed in a plain blue cotton gown her hair in shining round her graceful head and a knot of fastened carelessly at her throat she was smiling to herself there was a lovely colour on her cheeks her step was light and she looked not only a happy girl but a good girl z girl full of the careless innocence of some forest animal that thinks no evil because it knows none she s got a rare face of er own said mrs watching her an it ll take in a good many more men besides dan mrs moved from the window her charming features had grown suddenly hard and cold she was annoyed and she had not the moral courage to admit to herself that the tragedy of a quiet life woman for the triumph of vice nor can the possessor of a pretty face be entirely satisfied with the contemplation of a prettier one i must be going now she said stiffly please send up to the if you want anything for mrs i don t think she will worry over what i have said because you see she doesn t believe it it s a good thing if she doesn t said mrs sorrowfully but there s many a woman as says she doesn t believe bad news just for the pride o not when all the time the knife s in er art do my best to keep quiet till she gets er strength up and of course went on mrs as i have promised you i shall say nothing to the about this most painful business not at present i think however here she paused and reflected i think if miller did the proper thing she would leave the village it s quite likely she will ma am | 33 |
and mrs smoothed her apron down with rather trembling hands there s plenty o men as take er plenty of men echoed in surprise plenty of men who know mrs gave one emphatic nod which spoke volumes was shocked and disgusted well good morning she said rather hurriedly good ma am and the world as in seemed a very strange place to the s pretty young wife as she tripped lightly away on her little high heels back to her own home it never occurred to her to think that she had done no good by her visit to but rather harm and she had no foresight or skill to calculate the extent to which the harm might lead she was one of the many who judge the poor by the rich or rather who consider the poor as a class of beings altogether apart from the rich hardly to be counted in with ordinary humanity a species of savage as it were to be treated differently fed differently talked to differently holy orders and the one broad grand bet so plainly set forth in scripture that god is no of persons carried no conviction to her mind she and her husband were she felt altogether of a finer quality to the gross material the of and she saw not a shadow of between her baby and the little village who crawled down to the side of the dirty brook on fine days and made mud till they looked the very of the mud themselves and though she knew that her religious creed demanded that she should believe that we are one and all the same before god she could not resist the temptation of making certain which were or according to her mood of the moment as she went through the garden on her way into the house she passed her husband s study window she saw him writing busily at his desk but he looked up as he heard her footstep on the gravel path and nodded and smiled at her and then how dreadful it all is she thought i suppose he actually thinks is a moral village and that he is helping to keep it so and he isn t the least bit of use i m sure he isn t not the very least little bit i chapter v as a natural consequence of his wife s visit to mrs could gain from her very little information as to the injured woman s actual condition beyond the fact that she was very bad and very miserable added as an i wish dick you could get dan out of the village impossible said the gently every man has a right to live where he likes provided he pays his way but if he is a positive a disgrace to the neighbourhood exclaimed with indignantly flashing eyes well my dear child it must be my business to try and reform him i can t turn him out and richard smiled have you ever thought what would happen if the were allowed to all from their several she no i t i you are laughing at me dick but you don t see the seriousness of the case oh yes i do no one the horror of the drink more forcibly than i do as i have just suggested if we could carry matters with such high authority as to banish all out of their chosen wherever we find them i m afraid i really am afraid that our would be rather scarce then you think there are everywhere as bad as she said i not only think it i know it he answered and a cloud of sadness his features for there are public houses o holy orders and as a matter of there must be though i prefer to call them poisoned people rather than if you saw a man under the effects of or of or any other such deadly you would be sorry for him you would try to apply such as might most quickly restore him to health and sane consciousness yet our drunken working men are just in the same condition and instead of trying to cure them we reproach them for poisoned while we let the go free we read in of caesar who whenever he had a grudge against any one invited that person to a friendly banquet and mixed a few drops of swift poison in the loving cup of wine now in my opinion many a and spirit is nothing but a commercial caesar whose tricks are carried on not for vengeance but for gain and who is therefore more sordid in his wickedness than even the murderer he spoke with energy and emphasis was silent think for a moment i he went on you and i do not get drunk when we enjoy our light french wine at dinner or when at some friend s house we take a glass of champagne in a way to show that we appreciate the hospitality offered us but if you or i were to drink a of s beer or of the sold at s public houses we should be to put it quite plainly drunk or rather so heavily that we should find it difficult to stand straight and it is not fair or just to the poor that they should get poison instead of pure stuff for their hard earned money they have as good a right to be thirsty as gentle folk surely and they ought to be able to buy good wholesome beer not a which is purposely contrived to thirst afresh and to the brain as well and tobacco used to be employed in the of beer these deadly are forbidden now by law | 33 |
but in how many instances is the law not privately set at defiance there s never a the tragedy of a quiet life i well i think said her pretty lips that under all the circumstances dick you as a clergyman ought to be against drink altogether i do really we could easily do without our little quantity of wine i m sure and you might perhaps have more influence over the if you were a complete like himself retorted with a slight shrug of contempt he drinks nothing but water does his example benefit the community is he not known as a money and no i am for not i like men who are manly enough to understand the first duty they owe to themselves that of self restraint and a fellow who has to wear a blue ribbon in his button hole as a sign that he never gets drunk is merely himself as a moral coward still it would surely be a good thing wouldn t it if dan could be persuaded to take the pledge she said i doubt it he would add to his fault of drink the second and worse one of for the possibility is that he would indulge himself in secret drinking then and pretend that he never touched a drop and to my mind anything s better than pretending to be honest when you know you re a looked at him a little nervously if he only knew she thought that the whole parish was just now pretending that nothing was wrong with miller and she wondered what he would say she remembered his words even a bad girl may be sorry for her and may wish to be better and he had said poor dear dick that be really hop ed did wish to be better what would he think now now if all the truth were told she longed to speak but her promise to mrs held her within and she checked the words that rose to her lips her husband glanced at her you seem to have something on your mind little woman he said tenderly any worry or vexation she coloured holy orders oh no dick nothing of that kind only i was thinking people often do pretend don t they he laughed they do most assuredly he answered a great portion of what we call our social life is made up of nothing but social lies but because such a condition of things exists we need not admire it or lend our aid in any way to support it she looked down and carefully fitted the point of her little shoe into the pattern of the carpet you wouldn t approve of a lie on any occasion would you she asked not even to cover up the sins of somebody very dear to you he was a little surprised at the question and considered it a moment no i don t think so he replied at last personally i think truth is always best because to begin with it is the law of the universe that what is shall remain and that what only seems shall perish therefore we do ourselves wrong when we run counter to the divine while a sinner his sins he is self when he them he is at once half then you would forgive any wicked persons who confessed their wickedness still looking at the carpet my dear girl you make me quite anxious here approaching her he took her face between his two hands and studied its lovely colouring fondly have you been doing anything very wrong at this she laughed and her eyes danced with merriment not very i she answered gaily confess to you at once when i have against any of the ten you may be sure of that she raised herself on the tips of her toes and kissed him you are a dear old dick you never suspect anything or anybody at that moment a knock came at the study door and on s calling come in the entered bringing a small visiting card on a large silver the tragedy of a quiet life this gentleman would like to see you sir she said took up the card and read its small neat i don t know the name he b an he told me he was a stranger to you sir said the he particularly wished to see the church he s quite a gentleman oh very well just show him into the drawing room and say come in a moment the maid retired don t ask him to luncheon implored whoever he is dick don f do that laughed as if i should ask any fellow to luncheon without knowing something about him he said really you are a quaint little woman well sometimes you are rather impulsive she answered we see so few people down here that if a very pleasant man turns up it is no wonder you don t want him to go away again at once here she also looked at the visitor s card oh that s a french name he s a foreigner let us beware of him then said smiling let us be on our guard like true bom who view everything un british with dark suspicion yet even a native of france may be a man and a brother all the same t he of course he may oh dick why are you so i but i don t want this particular man and brother invited to stop to luncheon no matter how nice and agreeable he is all right but may i ask why because there s only cold mutton there declared quite desperately and however you put it | 33 |
cold mutton is a thing even with and hot potatoes you can never get over the of it we don t mind it because of course if we have a joint of mutton at all in the house it has to be eaten cold sometimes but strangers always feel the of it so much holy orders nodded with good humoured significance very well i won t argue the point he but if every hungry fellow in the world could get a of cold mutton for the asking the might not be so very dismal after all he went off then and entering the drawing room found his visitor standing with hands clasped behind his back looking out of the window into the garden he was a little man with a clean shaven round face and a pleasant smile which sparkled up from his lips to his eyes in a very taking and kindly way he was dressed in a up tightly to the throat and a soft felt hat of the approved model lay on a chair beside him i must demand one thousand he said in somewhat imperfect english turning round as entered it is not the time to call upon the clergyman to see the church pray don t replied quickly extending a hand in frank courtesy my time is quite at your disposal for an hour at least you are most welcome to see the church i ll take you round there at once especially as you are of my own calling ah non and the little man gave a gesture i will not permit you to mistake me i am a priest of the true church the roman here his eyes with a most agreeable but that shall make no difference shall it in our meeting was quite charmed with the simplicity of his manner certainly not he said heartily we both serve the same master not so and his visitor shook a forefinger in the air not so by long ways i you serve the king i serve the pope two big personages that must agree smiled rather gravely i mean he said a greater master than either the tragedy of a quiet life ah yes you mean the good christ but nobody serves him at all in our times nobody he snapped his fingers still smiling his name is let us see the church a little puzzled and not knowing quite what to say opened the long windows of the which led out immediately to the lawn and escorted his new acquaintance through the garden to a private gate communicating with the churchyard you have my name proceeded the little priest yes that is me ah so short while ago i was le p re p re so the children of my village me ah a village not large no not so large as this he spread out his hand but now madame la has swept me out with all that she calls her rubbish she has swept me and so many more into england i and here i am and to this place i wander like what you call a tramp is it not so your church said slowly is making many in this i should think you would find plenty of friends here friends oh for that here he gave a more expressive than words yes there are many if you will do just as they tell you but not if you desire to do something for yourself i have just come from a very place in where there is a very church the cur is ill and poor ah so poor and while he has been ill the bishop ask me to take the service and when i say my bad english will not please he say t the people are so stupid they will not mind and that is true so i say the mass and confess the stupid people but i do very preaching they would not comprehend me no they can perhaps follow the latin in their but i do not ask them to follow my english in the pulpit no that would be a cruelty he laughed and laughed with him there was holy orders something quite in his cheery personality they had by this time reached the church a quaint grey stone edifice small but of perfect proportion in every line with a genuine early porch and ivy tenderly around its ancient square tower it was a veiy quiet peaceful little place in its venerable tranquillity by a few tall old trees among which some were evidently thinking of building their nests for they were to each other persistently as though the time for housekeeping had already b un the churchyard was clean and and only a few of last year s leaves had fluttered down from the overhanging branches on some of the neatly trimmed graves a sense of sweet repose softened by tender melancholy hung about this small god s acre and appeared to touch some in the emotions of the for he paused at a small rounded which covered the mortal remains of a child aged three years where a knot of white lilies lay fresh upon the wet turf and said gently ah the pity those flowers mean so much broken heart the laughing child gone the sweet lilies so pure and still sometimes yes it is wrong to say it but sometimes i feel that god must be sorry to be obliged to kill so many pretty things which he has made offered no reply the words at once recalled mrs s remark as repeated by her hopeful son mother don t see ow | 33 |
god can bear to live all the poor folks die what he s made the thought was the same as that expressed by his present visitor though differently he took a large key out of his pocket and with it the church door i see you lock up the dear lord said with a little smile you keep him a prisoner not so do we we leave our church doors open we make the lord to be at home if a man or woman is naughty he or she can and say a prayer and try to be sorry at one time i am sure in the history of this church the lord was also at home in it the tragedy of a quiet life took this without any offence of course in the past this church like all the churches of england was roman catholic he said up to the time of the masses were said in it every day and i believe that even during elizabeth s reign and despite all her laws against secret masses were held in the the is the most ancient part of the building the genuine remains of the former you know i suppose that it was once a s chapel nodded emphatically of i always read much he said they me that they should wish to leave society is not a matter for surprise but that they should live quite alone and on hard beans and water is all beyond my comprehension i at once say it is not for me a d would be more agreeable he laughed and thought him frivolous saw and understood his expression and his bright grey eyes yet more you are married he asked a slight flush warmed the s pale face yes he answered i have been married three years ah that is early days i you and made him a fantastic little bow which was half and half complimentary you are still in paradise they passed through the and entered the church itself it was a very little interior in with the formerly professed simplicity of the church of england the ugly part of it was as is usual in many churches the accommodation this being the too hard rows of light oak which much more suggest benches for a lecture hall than for a place of prayer the roof was finely arched and was supported on eight noble stone columns which to the skill of their long ago forgotten while the though lofty and spacious was spoilt by four modem stained glass windows which in their conception and colouring might have h r holy orders found fitting place in a twentieth hotel but which were much too and gaudy for a house of worship those windows are an said noticing s expression as he looked at them but they were put in by squire the patron of the living in memory of his deceased relations he is a veiy good kindly man but unfortunately he has no taste for what is and noble in art like so many good kindly men smiled par like that most excellent personage who wished to put a memorial of his wife immediately opposite the bust of shakespeare in on church he would have done it too if he had not most fortunately been caught on a point of law and so prevented imagine i your great es face to face with a modem lady in his own burial place ha ha what a stupidity but no doubt the amiable provincial gentlemen concerned in the scheme settled it over a glass of wine at dinner and could not understand that they were ignorant and enough to make the whole world laugh at them your squire is like that he does not see any laugh in these comic windows i here he turned towards the which was a very ancient one circular in shape and supported on a single column in the centre with small comer columns round it bearing curious devices of animals and flowers this is good he this is of the old faith time and it to me a story of in the place where i have been in there came to me one poor woman very brown and dirty a with a very small girl b b she say to me i have no money i am poor will you give the name to my b b i ask her if she is and she say yes so i take the b b and i it with so very curious name he paused let me see yes ar ar yes imagine for a c est then the poor thank me and beg of me two shillings she is so poor she say but you laugh why the tragedy of a quiet life for s face expressed the most merriment and his blue eyes danced with fun i know that he said and i wonder how many times and in how many churches her helpless infant be i it myself the other day gave it the same name and gave the mother the same requested two shillings i she was a church of england woman then their glances met and they both smiled we are what you english call done said gaily but the is quite safe safe for this world and also for the next if she go to one gate of heaven she will find st peter he say are you yes she say le has me true so she pass st peter if she go to another gate she meet st paul are you he say yes the clergyman of has me true so she pass st paul my friend we have been | 33 |
careful for shake hands upon it laughed gently and entering into the spirit of the thing clasped s outstretched hand with ready cordiality after all continued we are the same poor servants together trying to perform our master s orders without always them made no reply and they presently left the church was interested in everything he saw he admired the landscape now looking fresh and radiant in the glory of the noon day sun he paused to listen to a singing and his amiable round face expressed so much contentment good humour and that more than once was sorely tempted to against his wife s and ask his visitor to stay to luncheon despite the humiliating prospect of cold mutton but he feared that might be really put out in her housekeeping arrangements if he did this after the urgent request she had made to him for even the sweetest of wives may be apt to suffer from holy orders a little of temper over unexpected domestic just as the prettiest rose may have a moved by these considerations he paused at the entrance gate of the garden to bid his visitor farewell are you staying in the village he asked not so very far away replied i have an in a cottage on the hill near a very big ugly house which they tell me is the house of one the ah how fortunate it is to the beer in england to make the poor people drunk and to live on the profits excellent i i could talk to you about that said with quick earnestness i know that drink is the curse of our country and yet i deny with all my soul that we are an people we are not we are by nature a steady sober god fearing people but we permit ourselves to be and cheated our easy going good nature gives us into the hands of and our government freely the of our brains and bodies so that they may continue to poison us for their own advantage and yet go free there is nothing i feel more than the hopeless position of the unhappy wretches who are as they are simply poisoned and the drinking of poison sets up a poisonous craving which is nay by the very laws of the country we clergy can do nothing because there has been so much cant and talked about by certain of our cloth who while preaching against drink actually invest their in and shares that very naturally the themselves despise such and double dealing i say and i will always maintain that there would be few if honest were sold to the people instead of heard him attentively that is your theory he said you may be right again you may be wrong i know men and women too who love poison it is to them what you call no the tragedy of a quiet life one can do anything to stop this craving all the kings all the all the preaching all the prayer no use no use my friend and he laid one hand kindly on s arm once upon a time the priest like could do something the church had its terrors it could frighten the bad man hell on one side heaven cm the other now all no use no one believes any more in hell or heaven each poor ignorant man makes his new to his own liking the only god that is served in to day s church press and is self his voice quivered and his features grew dark with a shadow of stem sorrow he continued raising his eyes with an almost pathetic i have known what it is to love my little parish my small village in france to which i shall return no more i loved the men and women the children my heart opened over them like the wings of a bird that would shelter its yoimg i prayed day and night that i might help to make them as god would have them to be the men noble the women pure the maidens innocent the children happy see how my prayer is answered i am turned away m them altogether i wander here in england where i am told the faith will again rule as of old but i much doubt it and maybe they will give me a church presently but it will not be my home and they will not be my people and i have no more hopes of doing good no none at all i will not expect to reform the my good sir that is nor will i expect to make the and the spirit honest men that is more still i have tried many ways of serving the all no use now i am content to do very little scarcely nothing at all i say my prayers i look at nature i hear the birds sing and i have pity ah mon what pity i have for every living soul there was something quite thrilling in the intense melancholy of his tone as he spoke and was strangely moved holy orders yet we must believe he said slowly that all will be well yes we must believe and s brightened once more into a kindly smile we must believe you in your way and i in mine and not till some great sorrow breaks our hearts shall we know how much our belief is worth my friend good bye we must meet again we must indeed replied eagerly i shall call and see you do you will rs find | 33 |
me in at the hour of the for then i say a prayer for my parish in france so far away he smiled again but there was a suspicious gleam of something like tears in his eyes another cordial pressure of s hand and he had gone walking briskly down the road into the village between a double row of elms which made d arches of their brown branches against the now blue of the quiet sky looked after his retreating figure for some minutes absorbed in thought a curious sudden sense of desolation oppressed him a dreary conviction of the of things of the waste of honest effort of the vanity and folly of trying to do good when good was so often swept away and overcome now there is a man he said to himself to the disappearing who evidently loved the work he had to do in his own country he was satisfied with his little parish he was not for ever asking as i am whether a little parish was wide enough for his energies he loved his people and he was no doubt a friend to them and yet apparently his efforts are all so much lost time and i am i any better than he suppose i were to wear out my heart and brain to in trying to this one village of its evil drink i should never do it never i am no of miracles and all the odds are against me what use am i will god ever give sufficient power into my hands to save a single human almost i doubt it the tragedy of a quiet life he turned and walked slowly back to the and as he entered the hall his wife tripped forward to meet him oh dick what a funny looking little foreigner that man was she exclaimed i saw him beside you in the churchyard is he a clergyman yes but not one of our faith replied he is a roman catholic priest and whatever is he doing here slipping a hand through her husband s arm i don t believe there s a single roman catholic in richard smiled well if s not likely he came to look after any stray sheep on the he answered they re too scattered for that he had some interest in seeing the church which of course used to be a roman catholic one he is from or at any rate he seems to consider himself he has lost his living out there and i suppose he is like so many priests in england just now waiting orders from his he s a very good chap and really if you had not made such a point of my not doing so i should have asked him to luncheon made a round o of her pretty mouth a roman catholic priest i she echoed would you really dick why of course i should and he laughed a roman catholic priest wants his midday meal as much as any parson doesn t he this man interested me very much i should have liked a good long talk with him made no remark she knew that her husband s lack companionship with his own sex was one of the great to his position as of and there was a little of self reproach in her heart as she thought that had it not been for her remark on what she considered to be the of the luncheon he would have had some slight fix m the monotonous routine of his daily life in exchanging ideas with a possibly amusing and intelligent stranger and she watched him with an odd holy orders of as he glanced at the clock half an yet before we sit down to the cold mutton he said cheerily just time to write a few letters no more news of the i no none she replied conscious of a inward that her domestic peace had not so been again fluttered by the worrying complaints and demands of troublesome or thereupon he went into his study shutting the door gently behind him as a sign that he to be left alone and undisturbed chapter vi within the solitude of his own room gave himself up to a spell of quiet thinking there was time as he had said to his wife to write a few letters but he did not so much as take pen in hand to commence them seated in his desk chair he looked almost out on the fair garden prospect in front of his windows and began wondering as lately he had often wondered what had come over the spirit of the church of christ that it should find itself unequal to stand against the storm of and which with shock upon shock had of recent years b un to down the formerly strong of faith with an acute of memory he counted up the of modem and societies and which nowadays assume to be the most and accurate of the truth and with a deep sigh wrung from his very heart s core he that s famous question to the divine was not yet answered we are a thousand times less devout and less earnest than the early christians he said speaking half aloud as though to some invisible companion of his meditations instead of growing stronger we have grown weaker instead of keeping christ s teaching pure and we have it with our own foolish systems till it is like a grain of gold lost in a million tons of clay happy were those who in the past could suffer for christ s sake and testify their love to him by the witness of their lives laid | 33 |
down for the honour and glory of his holy name holy orders he rose and paced the room slowly how few there were he thought in the present times who would endure the slightest personal pain or inconvenience with joy because they believed christ had ordained it like a visionary passing before the eyes of his fancy he saw the proud and self confident heads of the church both roman catholic and to themselves something of divine authority elated with their own importance in the world of politics and society eager to obtain as much money as possible for the of their own several systems and heedless whether such money were from the pockets of the poor or the of the rich using for their own purposes the supernatural terrors of and heavens of their own invention to scare the ignorant or flatter the vain and he asked himself with a kind of passion in the demand is this christ is it what he came to teach what he died to and enforce and the answer came ringing clear and true from the depths of his conscience no the creed of the churches is not the creed of christ it is man s work to suit the craving of man s and from it spring a thousand weed like of and so called scientific which merely the poor human soul and lead it deeper and ever deeper into the mire we have deserted the plain and simple teaching of our lord for a of and opposing doctrines and instead of helping to guide us out of the various that tend to disguise his divine command our and sit silent and amid the of conflicting argument and not one of them has the courage to pronounce in his own person one straight convincing word which might silence the christian uproar surely the days are upon us of which our spoke when he said he that is an and not the shepherd whose own the sheep are not the wolf coming and the sheep and and the wolf them and the sheep and in this sense our and are for the wolf is devouring the fold the tragedy of a quiet life he threw himself again into his chair and his mind to the little priest who had said so lightly that the of christ nowadays was c est he must think it he must know it or else he would not say it murmured for he seems a man who seeks to do his best and who probably am done his best in his service to his own church and it is evident that he feels the of it all the of his own as keenly as i do here the flitting memory of a girl s face floated before him the brilliant beautiful face of miller with her eyes and curved red mouth and he gave an impatient gesture as he asked himself whether he could as the of the parish honestly say that she was a lover of and in christ he knew he could not yet she attended church regularly and in outward sunday at least she was a of the christian faith but in her inward nature she was a positive pagan whose creed was that of beauty and the purely animal enjoyment of life how many of his were according to their several tastes and inclinations in a precisely similar condition how many if put to the test would be willing to suffer for christ s sake nay how many to put it quite roughly would be ready to forego even a glass of beer if asked to do so for the honour and dignity of their religion as christians probably not one he smiled rather at the thought for his difficult task was to be the minister of the most noble and perfect gospel ever for the needs of man to a village community whose dearest aims in life were high wages for as little labour as possible and as much drink as could conveniently be swallowed in the twenty four hours of the day i shall never move them to a higher view of things he said nor will any one not only in but all over the christian world the same indifference and unless the rouse themselves from their shameful to give some sort of an honest warning ay tke i holy orders wolves will have their way oh for the power of a eloquence a fiery tongue of the first such as should not only warn but most persuade and oh that god would only help me in my task and let me understand to the full the meaning of his holy orders his eyes flashed and his face grew warm with e light of a sudden hope and inspiration then as was usually the custom whenever he yielded to any touch of exalted or emotion the commonplace asserted itself in the ringing of the luncheon bell it made such an with his thoughts that he laughed at himself for having just for one moment dreamed of great things that might be done were he only given the chance to do them and then with a serene step and cheerful countenance he went to his cold mutton and listened patiently for more than an hour to his wife s light chatter about various domestic affairs which to her were the principal aim and end of existence for she made no secret of her dislike to what she called soul talks i know it s very wrong she would declare with a look at her husband from under her soft up curling but i don t really care a bit about anybody s soul because i can t understand what it is if | 33 |
it were a hand or a foot or a nose i should of course want to take care of it and not lose it but a soul now you know dick you don t know very well yourself what it is it s so vague so so she laughed and was not at all checked in her merriment by richard s serious glance at her it s so nice she went on to look at the picture of and see her holding the little butterfly in her hand she did catch it she must have caught it but even in the picture or statue or whatever it is the poor soul is half dead and she s warming it up to life again i think you mis read the said herself stands for the soul and the butterfly is i believe i may be wrong an emblem of the life which the soul makes immortal oh but fancy life itself being no more than a butterfly the tragedy of a quiet life that be right dick anyhow whatever it is i can feel very great interest in the of people i m not much taken with their bodies you know their bodies are too awful sometimes and their souls well i oh i d not think about them no argument could possibly arise out of these easy statements and had learned by experience not to expect from his young wife what was not in her nature to give sometimes he wished that she would interest herself more in the troubles and needs of the very poorest and most among his but he found that her fastidious sense of cleanliness and order was frequently affected almost to physical by the dirt and of such unhappy human creatures as driven by sheer to the wall had into the desperate condition of not caring for themselves or for anybody else so that it seemed a kind of cruelty to insist on sending such a dainty fairy like little woman into the midst of hopeless which she had neither the skill nor the energy to relieve so he spared her all the he could the of sick rooms and tortured and only her now and then to take a few flowers to a sick child or go and talk to a clean old woman for himself all the in the daily round of his parish duties in his tender way he felt he had asked her to do quite an exceptional thing in visiting the bruised and battered and that she had so readily and gently to his wish was something of a grateful surprise to him for he knew the truth of what she had often asserted namely that she was not fitted to be a clergyman s wife she was too pretty old mortar had once in an moment said she reminded him of a christmas one o them as comes up through a in the stage all dressed in a an a as though the world was a box o on hearing this description of his wife had emphatically t loo holy orders to it yet in us he knew mm a of truth in the he not by way of denial say that s her and that her and a of for he was that the pretty little was her charming and figure e a i e d her to just a pretty little creature and no more but he loved her with all the passion of a man in whom passion was often r r e ss e d and he found an exquisite pleasure in watching the rosy flush her cheeks or the sunshine play among her gold hair she was all the beauty of woman for him in one dainty bundle of tender and his veiy own to caress and to and when die graver work of the day was done and he felt himself free to his soul from its spiritual it was with a sense of gratitude to god that he drew into his arms and pressed her soft little head over with curls against his heart then it was that he was conscious of the jo rs of manhood and frankly confessed himself too weak to be a comrade of angels on this day however his ordinarily kind and humour was not so spontaneous as usual and whether it was the cold mutton at luncheon or some other equally influence in the ere it is certain that both he and the light hearted herself were silent and more or less pre occupied was thinking of the and of miller was absorbed in somewhat gloomy speculations as to the fate of the churches in england the cold mutton came and went replaced by rice and apples altogether plain and wholesome fare but of a scarcely tending to the spirits shivered a little it s quite chilly she really i don t wonder that people abuse the english climate i every man his own climate if we only knew it answered smiling one of the unfortunate results of the way our press is conducted is that the tragedy of a quiet life loi we always know exactly how we feel about rain fog or snow but we don t hear what the italian or the frenchman thinks of his particular for you may depend upon it there s no climate quite perfect think of sunny italy she sighed with a little sentimental of her eyebrows sunny italy i never felt the cold more cruelly intense than in he answered and when the east wind ran through me like a knife while the sun blazed down on me like a furnace i felt that i had been distinctly | 33 |
orders in tm of hit te never allowed hit to hear that pot her to or her of mind in hu or for lie or he had that die not of a to feel pain it did not her and tiiat the the of a e e t in die to mental anxiety on of any one her own she had all the pretty of a whidi that ball of in it made for it to with and it tut charm that her being called openly meanwhile made die beat of hit walking to arrive at at he on die to he had been to t cottage at it commonly at the end of old and removed the high road with bade the green slope of a wooded hill two of its small windows were open and through these there came a sound of incessant groaning broken by fierce cries of hold keep her st where she is don t let her go the heard and his grew very grave he knocked at the door which was opened for him at once by a grey haired woman whose were red and swollen with crying and who at the mere t of him broke into tears oh mr my boy she sobbed my poor poor boy he s going i oh he s going away me and he doesn t know me his own mother he won t look at me he only calls for all the time and she came to see him last night and stayed with him an hour and he s been like mad ever since just like mad and early this morning he broke a blood vessel with and we sent for the doctor and he s been and he s coming back again directly but it s all no use no use i oh what shall i do what shall i do the tragedy of a quiet life pressed her hand gently but said nothing he was accustomed to scenes of despair among the poor and he knew by sad experience that though when in health they have the habit of talking about death when it comes to others as though it were the most congenial of for conversation they are invariably taken and shaken from their ground altogether when the real terror visits their own homes quietly he entered the cottage and stepped into the little room where the dying man lay a room that had grown sadly familiar to him during the past six months for in the round of his to the sick he had never missed a daily visit to bob partly on account of the hopeless nature of the sufferer s disease and partly because the poor fellow had shown so much patience and courage in with the inevitable he was only twenty two years old and through much pain and mental anguish had displayed a martyr s quiet heroism and resignation never complaining of the fate that was cutting the thread of his life ere he had time to it into a useful pattern and always expressing such a cheery ith in god and a future immortal existence that had grown to look upon him as a kind of lesson to himself and others a model example of the strength which is bestowed on those who in the moment of fix their faith on the saving power of the divine therefore he was painfully startled when instead of the humble and youth who had listened for many weeks so gratefully to his kindly teaching and who had repeated prayers after him with all the devout simplicity of a child he saw before him a gaunt with a face of desperate agony a strange distorted creature sitting half upright on a bed that had become a mere tangled heap of clothes in the tossing to and fro of the feverish body upon it a wild non human thing with blazing eyes and mouth which shrieked incessantly hold her see where she goes will no one stop her running running running look look running straight into hell all io holy orders the tt her i ber ber body there s no god i there never was t pale to the op to the bed and tried to get an arm round the you know me the wild rolled round in their fixed him with a the t and with a supreme bob flung out his arms and hands as though to keep come to see the last of me have you well fm i m glad you ve come exhausted be sank back upon his breathing hard and st hit mother at the foot of the bed him in terror i m glad he repeated thickly fm glad youve come i i want to q to alone mother i thankful to be recognised the poor woman hastened to his tide with extreme difficulty he lifted his head and kissed her the good bye he take it fm sorry not to have been a more useful son to you now go i want to be left alone alone with m he indicated the by an imperative sign with a wild outbreak of pitiful sobs and tears his mother turned and out of the room and deeply moved and feeling that the final moments of this poor fighting life had come knelt down by the beside scarcely had he done so when a burning hand caught him by the shoulder get up from that said the dying man in a weak fierce whisper don t pray it s no use there was something so intensely horrible in tl e manner of his utterance that could find no words wherewith to answer him and could only gaze at him in amazement | 33 |
it s no use i tell you went with my last the tragedy of a quiet life breath i want to make you remember that it s no use i i want i want to ask you why you have told me so many lies get up from your knees stand like a man and answer me slowly and as if impelled by some stronger force than his own stood up a vague shadow seemed rising before him a dumb s of his words i have told you no lies he said in a voice of steady tenderness and sweetness i have never you i have taught you to the best of my poor ability the of christ s saving message to mankind and i have to express to you the blessing of his love and pity for us all your mind is clouded by physical i my poor boy or yon would never say there is no use in prayer let me try to prove to how very close god is to us both at this so dose that he can make death itself seem easy death i i care nothing for that i want to die and s features hardened so that the pallid skin of his face looked like an ivory mask carved into a frown of reckless despair death is the end of all things and i want all things to end i want to get out of the for good and all it s life that matters s his eyes in a kind of fury he struggled for breath supported him in his arms and he fought inch by inch for the power of speech she s alive she s all soft flesh and lovely to touch and to look at and i ve prayed for her prayed prayed prayed and the t you call god is deaf and blind and impotent i he has done nothing he has looked on and laughed while she went to her his weak voice rose to a kind of scream and you say god is good that he loves us it s a lie i no good god would have left alone he would have saved her he would have saved her from his voice stepped his whole frame was shaken by an he mastered the by an almost effort and went on talking or rather muttering in fitful io holy orders a hi he to live where men to ir l to fed out for i end then you and your kind and telling as oar passions are sins t i why die beasts and die birds are better off than we are no one them for and die god yon talk about seems to care far even more than he cares for for they re ever so and love i say t i if s what die lord never knew t what he love for a woman t and there he to be our brother in tried to speak hot desperate with his own rapidly increasing weakness was so terrible to witness he was held silent don t preach but listen t went on the thin wild have years of yet ive only got minutes she came to see me last night i touched her hair her face i held her in my arms that s all the heaven i want and i m willing to go to hell for it i but she she s lost lost try if you can do anything save her from herself from the shame out of s arms he fell back on his pillows and a strange awed stare within his and turned his features to the semblance of grey marble moved by a speechless pain and sorrow the once more dropped upon his knees o merciful he cried let thy light shine upon this passing soul that it may see the glory beyond the gloom and know thee as thou art in all thy love and wisdom say unto this storm of life peace be still and let there be a great calm the stony upon the bed seemed to fix him with a last look the lips moved save and the words came fe like a breath upon the air give her give her my love a tense stillness followed and burying his face in his hands prayed long and earnestly when he rose he the tragedy of a quiet life knew he was alone with a dead man reverently closing the eyes of the corpse he went out of the room and gently told the weeping mother that her son was at rest his lips trembled as he uttered the words for in his own heart he felt they were scarcely true young had passed from life to death in a condition of mind which religion itself had no chance to improve or sustain and was too honest with himself to disguise the fact every grain of faith and resignation and hope had been swept away like dust before the wind by what merely the beauty of a woman i the loveliness of smiling flesh and blood which the dying man had to the last moment of his conscious existence and there was no sort of heaven in the craving only a very real and positive hell i did wrong thought miserably i did a very wrong and foolish thing in persuading to go and visit the poor unhappy fellow i ought to have known better the mere sight of her completely unsettled his mind unable to bear his own reflections and distressed beyond measure by the hysterical break down of mrs who | 33 |
like the woman in the testament was a widow and her dead boy the only son of his mother he soon left the cottage and resolved to take a brisk walk of a mile or two before returning home to show a more or less grieved countenance to his wife who could not patiently endure even the shadow of trouble he had scarcely gone a few yards beyond the village however before he was met and confronted by the very person who despite himself was uppermost in his thoughts miller she was a little breathless as though she had been running and her cheeks were beautifully flushed with the delicate pink of an opening rose mr she began and then stopped checked by the stem gravity of his expression a warmer crimson her face and her eyes flashed a sudden challenge is anything wrong nothing he answered coldly only that i have just come from bob s r no holy orders m a studying die of a which pinned at tiie of her e too he t and too wear on a march afternoon she caught his i and a trembled oo her lips u bob dead she then sudden v really dead he bent his head silently did you see him die again he made a dumb affirmative sign poor i wish i had there she said and an odd of ha features he was so fond of me that i am sure he would have taken me for his guardian just come to fetch him to heaven she uttered these words in the most natural way in the world and for a moment he gazed at her in mute then he spoke and for once his usual sweetness of manner failed him no doubt he would i and his voice shook sick men are often the victims of delusion she laughed softly it s nice to be i she said it s pleasant to be told pretty things especially when one s ill i m sure poor bob died hard and i would have made his death quite easy it seems so strange to think that he s gone i was with him last night for an tf told me to go and see him and he was ever so happy and he asked me to kiss him and i did he wanted to die then just that very minute took a sudden grip of his own mental forces i am sorry he said very that i asked you to go and see him for i think your visit was the immediate cause of his death and when i went to him to day it seemed to me as if he had lost all faith in god because he was leaving me with poor bob he said last night he should meet me in heaven but i him no i was not going that way the tragedy of a quiet life iii s accents were sharp and stern i cannot permit you to talk to me like this you are a mere girl a foolish girl and you should know that your words are wicked and unworthy of you as a christian i thought you were going to try and please me he broke off vexed to see sudden tears in her eyes i can t please you mr she said slowly it s not in me to do it and i m not going to try i shall never be good goodness me i can only be myself sec and with an unconsciously effective she swept one hand round indicating all the landscape here are trees and grass and flowers and birds i love them all none of them have any churches or to teach them and yet they all make their own happiness their own way they die of course everything dies but not till they ve most of them had a good time i want my good time and i don t care how i get it i like to be admired i like every man who sees me to want me more than anything else on earth for the moment it is never more than for the moment you know and she shot a glance up at him from the shadow of her curling lashes but it s always a grand moment i kept away from bob because he was ill and i thought i did him harm but when you said go and see him i went though i knew it would be the death of him put yourself in his place mr suppose that you loved a woman more than god and that death was taking you away from her altogether would you not curse and swear just as bob did completely taken by the confident of her speech and manner he looked at her for a moment in grave amazement she met his look with a smile of perfect sweetness but he set his lips hard and her resolutely as though she were a fair sent to tempt his soul i do not understand you he said coldly you talk in a way you should not and i think you know it i cannot for a moment imagine myself or any man loving a woman more than god ii holy orders ty m i i saw one not ago in die the dead mi the lawn and there came a lot of other round it and making the most and the got thicker and thicker and each seemed to have to say about the and then settled in a mass it and i watched the till suddenly all flew away and there was not | 33 |
a of the left i it was gone here she put on a oe of the greatest seriousness what do you suppose became of it can t and again have you any idea she raised herself on and with a touch to arrange his tie more yes i have but i don t like to say it she i think it was eaten up i do i believe that s the way get rid of their friends and relatives i of course fm wrong and some old would tell me i m a perfect fool but that s how the thing appeared to me and when i see all the villagers of round mrs s cottage and wanting to look at the corpse what they say you know it makes mt all over i struggled with his feelings he tried to check his mirth and to look serious but it was no use was perfectly to her there was nothing of grave import in life or death persons and events presented themselves to her in a manner which to him was incomprehensible and yet he could hardly reproach her and yet he knew well enough that the way in which she viewed the sorrows of others proved her to be lacking in that delicate sympathy which poets in time used gallantly to maintain was the best charm of a perfect woman she had indeed a resembling that of die modem press which chiefly in its ability to make a jest of everything even of the honour and renown of the country on whose too easy it there is a strong taint of the monkey in all semi educated men and women the tragedy of a quiet life he pulled himself together and decided that it was not a man s business to manage the girl at all his wife must be called upon to take her in hand and yet as this idea crossed his mind he knew how absurd it was for him to entertain it for a moment and as well seek to bring the opposite poles together or ask fire and water to mingle in he said at last i should like to have a quiet talk you she looked up quickly now she asked not now in two or three days time after poor bob is buried come to the what will mrs say and she smiled the question rather than spoke it something in her tone annoyed him he drew himself up a trifle stiffly mrs will say as she has always said he replied that she hopes i may persuade you to be reasonable and gentle to be more careful of your conduct laughed lightly i don t think she hopes anything of the kind she said she knows i m past all that i can t be reasonable not in the way you mean reasonable people are always so dull i hate being dull but i won t be a trouble to you mr i promise that i ll make a change see here and with an impetuous movement she laid one hand confidently on his arm you re a good i m sure at least i know you re trying to be good you re trying to be better and wiser than the birds and the animals i m not the testament tells us that god cares for the and the lilies of the field i don t presume to be more valuable than a and i m certainly not half so nice as a lily of the field if god looks after me as much as he does after those two things i m all right i don t mind the rest but i swear to you here she spoke with extraordinary vehemence and her great eyes glittered like stars on a wintry night that next time you see me be different i will s holy orders her a she at him to and withal so that he at a ion what to reply after a he said is that a promise that s a and with a sudden she flung up her arms to do jou hear it almighty god it s a promise i he from her with a kind of nervous dread upon him there was something so wild and reckless about her that he with the usual sensation that always affected him when he thou t of die one great curse of his parish he was to remove whether die had been drinking she t his look and understanding it laughed aloud know what you think she if one of die who about god in the bible were to stand here now and begin to and scream you d say he was drunk wouldn t get a hearing at any price i and his utterance of her name was like a sharp exclamation of pain she echoed half sadly half poor a girl with only a face for a fortune i that s the trouble well good bye mr i ve made you a promise and see iii keep it good bye before he could utter a word in answer she had gone running past him over the old stone bridge into the village with the flying of a bird he turned to look at her as she fled and all at once as though a had been struck in his brain he heard the frantic cry of the dead man who had loved her i see where she goes will no one stop her running running running look look running straight into hell shuddered as with an inward cold something must be done for that girl he said something must be done before it is too late chapter vii | 33 |
two or three days passed and during this interval took upon itself a curious aspect of bland and decent an aspect it always assumed whenever there was a death in the village everybody had known for a long time that young s illness could only have one possible termination and when that fatal end arrived no one was really surprised or very sorry yet all tho it the proper thing to affect an air of gentle resignation as of persons who were by a cruel and destiny blinds were drawn in the cottage windows of both old and new and even the venerable mortar sat in his chimney comer refusing to move and apparently considering himself a more or less injured party because he was not yet laid out as a corpse for said that there bob t three an look at me goin on for ninety three this august seems to me the lord don t want me i m sort o left in the while the plough goes on as long as this state of things lasted rather avoided the village for experience had taught him that the rustic mind in the of death and that when folk are preparing for a funeral it is a kind of personal for them in which they resent all interference he knew or rather he imagined that if he were wanted he would be sent for he had yet to learn that under certain circumstances of difficulty to what are called the common people the very last person they think of consulting is the of tb s ii holy orders it ou t not to be to but lo it is and ae fa not to in nine cases out of ten tbe of the parish is so in himself and his own that he has no sympathy to spare for any wandering or wounded member ot his flock i do not wander he says why should you pursue so a course am not wounded why do was not one of the of whom there are so many the world nowadays in the name of christ and had the po est or most of sought his aid in trouble he would have given it with all his heart and power no matter at what cost or pain to unfortunately his did not entirely grasp this he had been with them a little over three years and though they were all i d e in his favour yet the memory of at least two past had made it difficult for them to understand that a man may be a parson and honest at one and the same time so they were cautious not to say in their dealings with him r perhaps it would be better to describe their general attitude towards him as one of mingled with respect he himself was sorrowfully conscious that there was an invisible wall between his personality and their humble lives sl wall which he had now and then looked over by chance but which he had never been able to scale nevertheless he bore his very he was patient minded and hoped almost against hope some day a day no matter how distant provided it should come at last some day they would that he was truly their friend faithful in purpose and loving in intention seeking to live the christ life to the best of his human ability a life easy to preach of but more difficult to practise than any theory ever to the world by teachers un divine and in his instinctive knowledge of the fact that when one of their little community was taken as they put it they preferred to be left alone to manage their own peculiar ceremonies of laying out and watching the dead without the intrusion of one who though the tragedy of a quiet life the head of the parish was more or less a stranger to their habits and customs he kept away from them during the time that he knew they were all like children at a fair enjoying the preparations for the funeral of bob the made no sign and on the strength of the idea that no news was good news he supposed all was well once or twice he felt strongly inclined to call at dan s cottage and make as to the condition of that s ill used but wife but remembering dan s fierce anger at his busy decided to leave matters as they were for the present once he asked if she had heard anything about mrs and that charming little lady had given her shoulders a most expressive shrug as she replied no not a word you know dick they don t want us especially when we notice their domestic quarrels they quite hate us then they really do and perhaps after all they are right k quarrelled with you or you quarrelled with me i shouldn t like anybody to come and ask me about it i really shouldn t not even a bishop he laughed at the open of her child like blue eyes my dear i only wanted to know if the poor wretched woman had recovered he said lightly dan had undoubtedly hurt her very much oh but she liked it declared she wouldn t hear a word against him i and dick you ought to remember that if women like to be knocked down by their husbands you really can t prevent it i if mrs were any worse the doctor would have sent us word i m sure you needn t be at all anxious on that score nobody in the village is about her at all they re all quite taken up with that poor dead man and | 33 |
they won t think of anything else till he s buried dear me and she heaved a little sigh i do wish it didn t remind me so of he exclaimed what do you mean oh i know it sounds dreadful and and all that i she said with a smile but i really can t help it ii holy orders dick i a i aw one not long ago in the dead was on the lawn and there came a whole lot of other round it and making the and the crowd got thicker and thicker and each seemed to have to about the body nd they settled in a mass upon it and i watched the business till suddenly they all flew away and there was not a of die left i it was gone here she put on a of the greatest seriousness what do you suppose became of it can t and have you any idea she raised herself on and with a touch pretended to arrange his tie more yes i but i don t like to say it she i think it was eaten up i do t i believe that s the way get rid of their friends and relatives i of course fm wrong and some dreadful old would tell me i m a perfect fool but that s how the thing appeared to me and when i see all the villagers of round mrs s cottage and wanting to look at the corpse that s what they say you know it makes mt all over struggled with his feelings he tried to check his mirth and to look serious but it was no use was perfectly to her there was nothing of grave import in life or death persons and events presented themselves to her in a which to him was incomprehensible and yet he could hardly reproach her and yet he knew well enough that the way in which she viewed the sorrows of others proved her to be lacking in that delicate sympathy which poets in time used gallantly to maintain was the best charm of a perfect woman she had indeed a resembling that of the modem press which chiefly m its ability to make a jest of everything even of the honour and renown of the country on whose too easy it there is a strong taint of the monkey in all semi educated men and women the tragedy of a quiet life a tendency to grin and chatter and throw at the sun the man who is a cross between an and a savage cannot be expected to appreciate the highest and purest things of life and it is just because the are gaining undue in human that poetry has been killed outright and all the sister arts are slowly dying too many are in control of our press our and our government and it is possible we may have to wait a couple of centuries yet before with fire and sword we our stables and recover the true types of noble manhood and for the grace and the glory of england meanwhile it is the fashion to sneer down warmth of heart and sentiment and though she had a certain amount of tenderness and feeling in her dainty composition was so r from wishing to give way to such weakness that she preferred to laugh at a serious subject rather than take time to consider it her husband looking at her now as in all her pink and white she smiled up into his face in a flash of comprehension how utterly futile it would be to talk to her about the spiritual and moral needs of miller for a moment he had thought that perhaps he could persuade her to have the girl at the for a day or two so that she might talk to her and reason with her like a sister so he had said to himself in the simple foolish way of a perfectly man who is generally hopelessly ignorant of the complex nature of a woman but somehow after her story of the s funeral he felt that he could not speak to her at all on the topic which just now was uppermost in his mind if the loneliness and sorrow of a broken hearted widow deprived of her only son could not move her to any sense of real compassion then the uncertain prospect of a girl s especially when that girl was as beautiful as would scarcely appeal to her interest by his own thoughts he gave a slight sigh his wife put her arms about him you re vexed fm sure she murmured you don t like my way of looking at i know it s quite wicked of me but i holy orders he her with a you have a heart one he and may you always it i f v myself fm i feel the of rather and i t poor s tortured or his mother s despair i it would be disagreeable i and drawing herself away from him she gave a tiny shake of her skirts of defiance and you didn t do him any good by going and at his bedside fm sure you i he was silent sometimes she went on people get worse they see the should fm thou of course it will be au right when die because youve my husband and there you are au ready with a sudden passionate exclamation he her in his arms my darling don t talk like that you oh my love my wife i don t you know i couldn t live without you i do you think i could pray by your she clung to him trembling a little couldn t you | 33 |
she why not his hands closed over her little golden curled head and he pressed her almost roughly to his heart don t ask me he whispered back it s too hard a question j a silence followed a silence in which love and love only held them both in almost heard the strong of the warm life blood in his veins while at the same time his spiritual inward self shuddered as it were on the brink of an abyss of eternal cold s had for the moment startled him with a kind of tenor for if he could not pray by the of one whom he himself loved where was his professed faith in the great creed of christ with which he sought to console others he dared not pursue the thought the exquisite emotion he felt in the mere act of holding his wife in his close embrace was but a part of his ordinary earthly experience and existence the tragedy of a quiet life a bodily ecstasy with which this world alone was connected and which certainly was not promised in the world to come for there according to scripture both marrying and giving in marriage are at an end and souls are as the angels of god in heaven whether those angels as in the poem of lee the love of human beings on earth is a point only fit to be argued by and but so r as richard was concerned he would not at that moment have exchanged the delight of his m personal passion for all the glory of an paradise of course the ardent glow of feeling was it always is no human being can stand too long upon the peak of joy it is always necessary to come down sometimes to fall off but managed to make a more graceful descent by slipping gently out of her husband s arms and shaking her pretty head at him as though he were a naughty boy we ve been quite sentimental she said and ca dick how you ve my hair he smiled and going to his desk b an to turn over papers mechanically his nerves were quivering like swept by a storm and every touch upon them awoke a tone of melody or discord in days to come he was destined to remember those few moments with meaning when the overwhelming knowledge of his own weakness as a minister of christ had borne down his imagined spiritual force with a sudden chill blow when he had that the dying s words might yet challenge him from the grave as to the use of prayer and when for the first time he had felt like a reed shaken in the wind by the mere dread thought of being called upon to pray for his own wife s departing soul a witty french philosopher us that there is nothing which we can bear with greater than the misfortunes of others and no one is more called upon to display this heroic form of endurance than a clergyman often he becomes so accustomed to it that he forgets he is not holy orders and when he is made the object of a in die of he is not only but he it that god whom he to should upon him with rods in yet rods are often laid across his bade and if be correct in the that nothing it without a cause for f then we must presume he has deserved the even his be not apparent and so truly did grasp the sense of his own that in a kind of semi conscious way he mentally sought to punish for enjoying too happiness i am really one of the most fortunate men in the he argued god has benefits upon yet how many times a day lately have i not at the of my life at i ought to be ashamed of my discontent i am not half grateful enough for all the blessings i have for my wife and child for my house and all its comforts for the peace and health of a country life for the chances of helping and comforting my why there are a thousand things which should move me to and yet i am often aud dissatisfied i have even imagined that i deserve a wider sphere of than my present charge what conceit on my part evidently i must take myself strongly in hand i need to learn the lesson of gratitude the one least known by all the world of men and even as he thought so he acted and set about all his duties with a patiently renewed and earnestly zeal when the day came for s funeral he performed that last sad religious with a gentle tenderness and compassion for the deeply distressed mother of the dead lad that did not fail to impress all those of his who were present with a sense of something like surprise that a parson should deem it worth his while to be so and kind to the tragedy of a quiet life the merely common folk there were however very few that followed the corpse to the grave and those few were or appeared to be more than grieved always keenly sensitive to impressions caught one or two of their glances at him and wondered what they had in their minds when all as over and the poor weeping mrs had thrown a small bunch of white upon the coffin that held everything that was mortal of the son she had brought into the world for no greater end than this he waited a few moments in the churchyard while the small group of slowly dispersed and an uncomfortable feeling came over him that | 33 |
there was something wrong but what it was he could not determine he watched the casting of rich brown earth into the open grave and presently spoke to him though he knew there was nothing in the way of information to be got out of a man who had won for himself the of silent on account of his extreme poor seems to have had very few friends he said jacob and general useful man about the church looked up for a second then down again and went on with his in all the village knew him and knew how long and patiently he had suffered continued i have thought that all the village ud be ere interrupted but it ain t he his hands and worked with fresh energy the people seemed so sorry about it and so sympathetic h re despite himself thought of s description of the s funeral they must be able to forget very quickly or some other event must have happened of greater interest turned his head and weather beaten slowly round and surveyed the with a pair of very vague grey eyes that s it he holy orders he threw more of now invisible h t moment by the like an figure with the wind blowing about him in snow white as of the mantle of a saint va martyr bat there s he b an told m an i knows ud i an i but i t ii maids an an i bam t he continued his and it would be useless to ask him any questions presently bade him a cheery good day and left him all the rest of that a he happened to be busy there was a great deal of to dear and accounts to make up so that he did not go out but remained for the most part of the time in his study not a sin came near the and the hours slowly and somewhat heavily away with the of evening he put by his books and papers as usual and gave himself over to the quiet joys of which for him were very few and simple chief among them was the e of seeing his small son and put to bed a function in which master displayed himself to the best advantage kicking out his little limbs in every direction and positively in every splash of the in the water no angel ever smiled more than he did when as a and only wings he sat on hb nurse s knee waiting for his clean night gown to be put on he was all radiant with and good nature and it was difficult to that such a beautiful innocent little being was destined to become that too often sad and weary thing a man it was a point on which often dwelt with a certain wistful and tender solicitude sufficient for the day is the evil thereof he the part of it all is that the evil is sure to come that night he sat in the drawing room reading or rather pretending to read while his wife sang to him another of the tragedy of a quiet life his purely domestic pleasures had a very small voice there was not a thrill of emotion in it but it was pretty and bird like and sounded particularly sweet in a more than usually senseless song about meet me in de com when de wind am there was no real sentiment in the thing but somehow as he heard the clear light child like the nonsense which passed for a love he was touched to a feeling of something like tears he laid the open book he held gently on the table and looked lovingly at his wife s dainty figure seated at the piano the gleamed on the gold of her hair twisted in its many shining love locks and flashed on the white of her arms s a in de clouds an de stars am oh meet me in de com when de wind am she sang in tender little notes of level tune perfectly monotonous and yet in their way and sufficient to charm any man who was not too a critic a knock at the drawing room door broke the spell the music ceased and a maid servant entered dr brand would like to see you sir she said dr brand the echoed the name in some surprise and glanced at his watch why it s nearly ten o clock yes sir but he said it was urgent somebody dying again sighed her husband made no answer to this but quietly left the room brand was awaiting him in the study i m sorry to disturb you so late in the evening mr he said but i thought i d better come and tell you myself mrs is she worse she s dead dead stood amazed there was a shock in the of the announcement dead i thought she was getting well so she was and dr harry took two or three turns holy orders tip and down the room m rather a way there was nothing at all in the nature of her physical injuries that should have killed her it was worry the woman fretted herself to death when did she die just now half an hour ago mr and the doctor spoke with sudden and emphatic earnestness we mustn t think of charging with having caused the death of his wife one would be strongly inclined to do so but knowing all the he broke oft and again paced up and m it s a wretched business he said i wish to god you had known the whole thing from the beginning then your wife would not have been | 33 |
mixed up in it my wife the s voice and face expressed utter and genuine bewilderment my wife well it was your wife who told mrs all about dan s with miller and of course it got on the poor creature s mind then when went away from the village the day before yesterday dan behaved like a madman and made a scene wait wait a minute and put his hand to his forehead in a dazed way i don t understand you you say you wish i had known from the beginning known what brand looked at him for a moment hesitatingly it s not a pleasant story mr he said at last and i wish i hadn t to tell it the villagers have all been trying to hide it and hush it up honestly i believe only for the sake of the poor woman that s gone who was a decent hard working body but here it is dan has been miller s lover for the past six months miller her lover good god and stared before him with strained eyes naturally the women knew went on brand with all her cleverness could not hide her guilt from f i m and mrs was aware of it but i she did not quite like to tell you anyhow after s drunken the tragedy of a quiet life attack on his wife when mrs went to visit her she found so i heard from mrs that had been up all night with dan in the kitchen next to the room where mrs lay ill and she was so and indignant that she told the truth to mrs then and there which think was an move had been listening as though he were lost in a dream and then he in a level tone of voice what happened except that mrs begged her not to mention the miserable scandal to you till mrs got well and she promised but the trouble of it is mrs never really rallied thoroughly she was sometimes better and sometimes worse and the finish of it all came when it was known that had gone gone repeated she has gone yes no one knows where there was a brief silence then the spoke i am sorry he said gently very sorry i did not hear or find out all this for myself before i should i should have understood better how to act it is very difficult for the clergyman of a parish to make his influence felt or his presence useful if he is purposely kept in the dark concerning matters which ought rightly to be brought to his attention i do not easily suspect evil and a slight flush warmed the of his face and it may be that i i myself am possibly to blame for the incident of miller s staying the night in s cottage while his wife was ill for i chanced to meet her in the village on the day the assault took place and she told me she could and would keep dan away from the drink of course she could and would interposed brand grimly as long as he had a r he wanted no other poison i had no idea went on rather sadly i could not have possibly imagined or thought for a moment that a girl like for with all her she seemed to holy orders me to have ome about would have allowed to be ood bj a man ai there certain women who love d and u a brute but he is a fine and tbat all that miller about she no of any kind i that type of woman ia new to you but it s common to me doctors tee m e than and as for refinement well if has any of that about her it s the refinement of whidi is odious perhaps i t to have told you what was going on i wish yon had answered gravely the doctor looked at him well i think it would have helped the he said and it isn t my business to report the of the people they re no better and no worse so as i out than other folks in lonely villages and from a perfectly common sense and matter of point of view i don t believe any very great harm would have been done if mrs had not most spoken to mrs of her husband s for the miller girl nobody would have said anything would have gone away as she has gone now she always wanted to go away and it was what she was planning and intending to do not out of shame for herself or sorrow oh no don t think that at all but merely because she was tired of dan and his and thought she would like a change mrs would have recovered i m sure and dan might have stiu made her a fairly good husband as such husbands but now i expect there ll be mischief simply because my wife did what she thought was her duty to do with coldly sparkling eyes dr harry smiled somewhat sadly or what we sometimes duty is not always a safe guide he said we sometimes even the best of us mistake it i m sure that mrs meant to be kindness itself when she warned mrs of what was going the tragedy of a quiet life on but it would have been better to have left the poor creature in ignorance as matters stand i m afraid he broke off and walked up and down you re afraid of | 33 |
what demanded brand stood still and faced him well i m afraid things may be made unpleasant for your wife he said she s not a fit person to contend with rustic and if i were you i should not let her go alone into the village for a while she might get insulted the looked as he felt completely bewildered insulted he echoed what do you mean simply this dan is a brute as you know and in his fury which is more for the loss of miller than anything else he that mrs has killed his wife and that hell have vengeance for it killed his exclaimed i who would not hurt a fly the man must probably he is answered brand but are dangerous i assure you mr dan is an ugly customer leave hun alone don t offer him any on hb wife s death he won t understand it if here the doctor folded his arms and looked in the face if you could the condition of a tiger deprived of its mate and its prey together at one and the same moment you might have some idea of dan s present humour he s on the drink too and there s no one to keep him away from it if you decide to see him yourself that is of course your though i think it will be most unwise but for heaven s sake don t let your wife go anywhere near him s eyes expressed a great wonder and sorrow my wife he said poor little woman she has done him no harm he thinks she has and the doctor looked away for a moment from the clergyman s pale puzzled face and thinking as we all know is more than half believing he has i holy orders made up hu that if she had not his wife about and himself nothing would have h mis would have lived would have stayed on in the village of it s true enough that s often an extraordinary lot of caused by talk no end of trouble might be by keeping a still tongue in one s head dr interposed with gentle dignity i am quite sure my wife had not the slightest idea of causing any distress to poor v to any one i don t know what she said she has not told me a about it but i am sure she meant everything in the best and kindest manner she never gave me the least hint of what you teu me concerning and nd i myself should never have suspected it he paused moved by a sudden of for one fleeting instant s beautiful and brilliant eyes flashed before him like a picture in a dream and the thought that she she with all her youth and loveliness should have consented to become the wanton partner of dan s vices his every sense to the verge of he his nerves by an i am very sorry for all this trouble he went on quietly than i can express in words i suppose i am very dense but i have always believed in the goodness rather than the of my fellow creatures and i had hoped to see even dan turn out a nobler fellow than he seemed as for miller i knew she was vain of her beauty and heartless to the corresponding measure of her vanity but i never thought she was he broke off then with a slight sigh continued perhaps i had better not speak of her i will tell my wife what you say i shall understand the whole situation better when i have talked it out with her but i shall let nothing interfere with the course of my duty you may be sure of that the doctor looked at him kindly well don t exceed your duty all mr the tragedy of a quiet life he said leave or ill alone for the present don t m this case offer your sympathy or service till you re asked for either let the storm blow over first r in other words let dan drink himself to death if he likes don t interfere rather singular advice murmured faintly smiling and not in keeping with christian charity christian charity is out of place in some quarters answered brand gloomily so is christian forgiveness general forgave the treacherous rascal who afterwards and killed him certain races don t understand forgiveness or kindness either and are not in my opinion of any race at all they are an artificial monstrous of the bottle and the beer and the less one has to do with such of disease the better he paused then went on in a tone well good night mr i m sorry i had to come up at so late an hour but i thought it would be the wisest course to tell you myself just how things stood it s very kind of you said shaking hands with him is always and though i do not anticipate any serious trouble with dan still i shall keep an eye on him i m sure my wife will be quite shocked to hear of poor mrs s death we had no idea her condition was so serious it wasn t serious said brand not serious in the way of actual danger to life till till she knew good night in another couple of minutes he had left tlie house and with a slow step and troubled countenance returned to the drawing room where his wife was still at the piano singing songs she saw by his manner that something was wrong and | 33 |
springing up from the music stool ran or three steps to meet him what s the matter she began he took her hands gently in his own my dear child he why didn t you tell me about miller and dan holy orders i a hot blush her face and ni ck i couldn t dick i it seemed too horrid and you were so g nd you thought the girl had some good in her he sighed heavily i did i certainly did think so i he said but if you couldn t tell me your husband was it quite necessary for you to tell mrs she opened her eyes in genuine at his question i thought certainly she id under a i the circumstances i felt it was the proper thing to do but i promised the woman who was nursing her that i would not say a word to you about it till she got better again he sighed she will never get better be said my dear she is dead the delicate rose tint of the pretty so dose to his own into sudden whiteness oh dick i i m i m so sorry r and like the little creature she was she began to cry i m sure she i m sure i never thought she was so ill as all that i wouldn t have told her he drew her into his arms and her shining hair soothingly that s just it darling of course you wouldn t have told her i know you wouldn t me if i say you have told her i don t often you little one do i and this is my only word you shouldn t have told her but you didn t you didn t think he kissed her and held her tenderly while she wept and rubbed her eyes and made her nose red after the fashion of a vexed child and half vaguely he wondered how many troubles in the world could be set down to that first cause didn t think in nine the tragedy of a quiet life the millions of bitter and tongues that have broken millions of loving hearts had didn t think behind them and half the mistakes and of mankind could be put down to didn t think if all the truth were known when when did she die murmured presently to night dr brand came up here to tell me and to warn me to warn you she looked at him with startled wet eyes yes to warn me against dan he is on the drink again and is dangerous more dangerous than ever so it appears now miller has gone miller gone where no one knows here he released her from his arms and walked slowly up and down the room presently he stopped again and faced her it seems an awful thing to say to you but i suppose you must know it brand wants you to keep away from the village just now for a few days at any rate wants me to keep away she exclaimed but why for a reason that is almost too horrible and unnatural to think of and s voice trembled with indignation as he spoke dan says you have killed his y my poor little and he ll have vengeance for it now there don t look so frightened for at his words she had dropped on the sofa in a small huddled heap her dainty tea gown falling about her in cloudy folds from which her face peered like that of a ghost killed his wife she whispered with white lips he says i have killed his wife oh dick dick and she stretched out her arms to him let me go away don t let me stay here it s too awful she seemed about to faint and the terrified expression of her eyes alarmed him my dearest you mustn t take it in this way he r holy orders sitting down beside her and putting an arm round her waist the man is an habitual and doesn t know half his time what he s talking about the fact is he killed wife himself no one else had any hand in it vm not so sure oh vm not so sure and she shuddered violently she bad not a word to say against him she loved even when i told her what i had heard and what i knew about miller she wouldn t believe it oh dick it s my fault i it s my fault really i i know it is it is through me that the poor woman has died and she suddenly gave way to an outbreak of hysterical weeping uttering little gasping cries and sobs that her whole slight frame was in despair he knew not what to say that would comfort her he could only hold her in his arms and try to soothe her by murmured words of love mingled with kisses and caresses you must send me away oh you send me away i she sobbed i m afraid i m afraid of dan hell say something cruel to me he will dick h don t let him come near me don t i never meant any harm but though i never meant it i see i have done it ind i shall never get over it dick never how can i go on living in after thb oh dick to think that i your should be so dreadfully accused i must go away darling you will let me go away at once wont you i and baby | 33 |
and we will all go together to the sea side for a while till this trouble is over and as she spoke she dried her eyes choked back her tears and looked at let us start to morrow morning i for a moment he was silent for a moment the of self sounded in his soul suggesting the is this the help a wife should give her husband in hours of difficulty and then he bravely put the thought aside you shall do as you like he said kindly only remember that if you go away just now it will look as if you really thought dan s wild and wicked words had sober justice in them why should you be afraid of a i the tragedy of a quiet life you are perfectly innocent of any intention you spoke to mrs as nineteen out of twenty women would have spoken under the circumstances and my chief regret is that i did not know the whole story as i might have perhaps been able to suggest a different course for you to take is probably much more enraged by the loss of miller than by the death of his wife and you certainly have nothing to do with that i confess i don t like the idea of your going away i would much rather you stayed at home and went on with your ordinary duties in your usual manner like a brave little woman her lips quivered and more tears fell i m not brave she said i never was and i never shall be i think it will be simply dreadful if i have to go about the village hearing all the details of mrs s death over and over again and all the story of miller s running off with one of the other men one of the other men repeated surprised what other men i don t know i m sure and she sighed wearily it s all quite strange to me and quite horrid but mrs said when speaking of that there were plenty of men who would take her even knowing everything ut her so i can only suppose she has gone with one of them and i think it will be really cruel of you dick if after what that awful man has said you force me to stay here i i force you he said my dear can you imagine my force to you in any way save the force of love she did not hear or rather she did not choose to hear the little touch of reproach in his accents well then let me go she pleaded it would make me perfectly ill to be shut up here for i know i shouldn t dare to go out while all the people are over mrs s funeral and that dreadful is about the village saying such horrid wicked things about me i d much rather be away holy orders you ll find the dreadful about just the same when you come back he said she wiped her eyes and smoothed her hair and the shadow of a returning smile flitted over her face perhaps not she rejoined he will have after miller and gone out of the place altogether her words annoyed him and yet he could not have reasonably expressed annoyance he took a couple of minutes to consider and then made up his mind very well he said have it your own way you shall go you can start to morrow morning for that s not so very far off with and the nurse i the change will do all three of you good she interrupted him by throwing her arms round his neck and kissing him oh you are a dear old dick she exclaimed her eyes sparkling with a sudden gaiety that dispersed all traces of her recent tears and terror it will be simply lovely to get out of for a little while because well you know though it s ever so pretty it s dull awfully dull sometimes there are no shops and no people worth looking at and when there s nothing but going on it s a little trying it is really dick you don t mind it because you have such grand ideas about duty and all that but i m i haven t any grand ideas and i do mind it often if this house and garden could only be moved into some place he looked at her earnestly you don t like then he said she shook her fair head very not at all she replied how could one like a dreary little village where the people do nothing from one year s end to another but get drunk and quarrel and die i le smiled a trifle bitterly it s a small of a very large part of the world around us look at it how you will and rising from the tragedy of a quiet life beside her he paced the room in an to his struggling sense of impatience and think how many such dreary villages there are in great britain where often the most promising me among the clergy have to work for the best part of their lives is by no means the worst example of such lonely and when i came here first i thought myself a very lucky man for the possession of the living enabled me to marry and his voice trembled a little and and we have been very happy and our boy was bom here oh i know all and she smiled up at him and it s all lovely and sentimental and nice | 33 |
so much a fool as to break the rule of his order he is finished done for i i myself would go further i would say that any minister of the gospel who is finished also done for yes indeed i quite done for holy orders he in a mj was more than annoyed to that he laid am no and never shall be of any for i am one of the i and nodded his head that is why i say my veiy rode of me but yon will pardon for what does our lord teach as take no thought saying what shall we eat or what shall we drink or shall we be for after all these things do the for your heavenly father that ye have need of all these but seek ye first the kingdom of god and his and all these things shall be added take no t for the morrow for the morrow shall take thought for the of now will yon teu me my dear that a married man is able to take no thought for the morrow was silent for a moment then he said but surely even a catholic priest does not work blindly on regardless of his ah but that is just it it is precisely what so many priests do work blindly on des blindly is very true they do not know and they must not see they obey as soldiers obey their superior so we obey the orders of rome we may be in one place to day another to morrow but we move under command it is not our business to make question always before us hangs the cross with the patient upon it it is the model of our lives we must nail down all personal desires we must ourselves it is hard sometimes but and here r s voice sank to a sudden tenderness when the troubles of youth are past when we can look back upon what we thought was so cruel to miss we find that we have not lost so much as we have gained something struggled in s soul akin to a passionate pain and protest was this man this priest of a the tragedy of a quiet life rival creed nearer the truth of christianity than he and was christianity itself such an arbitrary law after all that it forbade the love of woman young s words came back upon his memory love i say love i it what the lord christ never knew it s what he missed love for a woman and there he to be our brother in sorrow and it seemed to him that the ace of gleamed like a in the air and vanished you speak with a very admirable resignation to the rule of your church he said then but if science is a of divine law as we are bound to think it is then science shows us that the union of sexes is the cause of their continuance without love and marriage mankind would cease to be the birds and beasts the insects and the ers mate and are happy in they are god s and serve him without complaint or and surely he cares for them i it is we who complain it is we who we fight against law and would upset it if we could by training ourselves to live unnatural lives and thinking that we serve god best by opposing ourselves to his visible i do not agree with you that marriage a man for devotion to the service of christ on the contrary i believe it him smiled it is well for you that you think so he said and in these matters we must not argue too far the opinion is different but the woman is always the same i yes the woman is always the mischief here his smile into a laugh imagine if there had been no woman in the case this good england would still have been but the nation ran away from the pope all because the so affectionate henry the eighth fell in love with pretty anne so much will hang on a thread no anne no church true and a sudden warmth of feeling s pale intellectual face with a light as though some fiery thought had inwardly it a woman is at the holy orders core of reform in die of we m affect to women and make of power may even in the of our df to avoid them as in the of our own but they in the end i yon no anne no c my thoughts go and i say with all no no christ gave him a quick surprised look he we agree so let us now cease to be serious let us talk of something droll of this village for instance parish for which you are too big too big not i r and he fm i m too small and too weak altogether to manage even poor of souls i fed my bitterly you see there s not much to be done in a place where the love of drink is the people s chief passion the church and the public house are rivals for the favour of and naturally the stronger wins and the stronger is hinted can you ask the public house of course the little priest was silent and took one or two turns up and down the study with his hands clasped in meditative behind his back and presently found himself telling the story of the though he carefully refrained from mentioning the share his wife had taken in its development listened with keen and | 33 |
attentive interest at the end of the he gave an eloquent gesture with his shoulders and hands but then the man is a murderer he he has killed his wife must there not be an and a punishment s eyes grew sadly troubled well the doctor does not think the poor woman died of the physical injuries her husband inflicted on her he said it was worry that did the mischief she was getting well till till she heard about the girl in the case the tragedy of a quiet life ah the girl and nodded the girl to whom the husband made love it was a pity she heard of that at all some idle neighbour told her i suppose did not answer for a moment his flushed and he turned away it was quite by accident she heard it he said all the village knew so i understand it seems that i was the only one kept in the dark looked at him curiously with a slight smile ah they were afraid to tell you i you look too good to hear such naughty tales i now there is the advantage of the confession i in my this wicked pretty girl would have told me all her sins and the big would have come to me to ask forgiveness and i should have frightened him oh yes indeed i then noting s troubled he went up to him and patted him kindly on the arm do not worry yourself this thing will arrange it is unpleasant it is a matter of the drink always the drink i do not understand this england drink rules the people and the makers of drink sit in the house of parliament yet so much talk about i and government the of all the liquor it is beyond me to comprehend how wise your es was how wise when he wrote that if hamlet should be sent to england his madness would not be noticed as all the people there were as mad as he so true true to this day smiled glad of the turn in the conversation for he did not wish to say much about miller he felt that he could hardly trust himself on that subject without betraying more irritation than would seem necessary he entered quickly into pressed to stay to an invitation which was readily accepted and set about making his guest feel thoroughly at home there was indeed something novel and pleasant to him in the society of a man who though his theories were of a rival creed was at any rate of a higher order of intellect than any of iso holy orders he hid been to meet for die past three in and around and he determined to make the moat of it a good long talk with a and intelligent individual of his own was a mental and one that he was not often privileged to the gentleman m the so as birth and education went was die patron of die mr the resident squire who was ever in residence and he good and kind hearted was profoundly and dull brains as he had being concentrated on which he pronounced and his outlook on the world being limited to the points of a horse compared to him was a wit and and that he was also a r catholic priest bent on the commands of his by making as many as was to quite for if there was one sure on which he as a minister of the church of england firmly it was the severe simplicity of his form of faith he could never understand any or superstitious as being possible to sane and thinking men and the of for his to rome had always struck him as one of the most lamentable in church history which could only be set down to the working of an over imagination and a want of logical balance in the brain to sacrifice the free god given force of reason for mere slavery must ever be the act of a weak mind therefore he was quite at his ease with his new friend who closely observant of him and taking pains to draw him out soon discovered that imder his quiet self contained manner which by those who knew him not was considered soft when it was merely there was a rare and brilliant nature quick to grasp close of thought and them into clear evidence and that this nature was strengthened by a singular force of will all the more powerful because it was so seldom exercised was not a for nothing he too was a clever man and had been trained the tragedy of a quiet life to recognise in others is one of the most valuable characteristics of and it was after a discussion on the of the age in religious matters that he suddenly put the very question which whenever it occurred to himself considered the of a demon are you going to stay all your life in the colour rushed to s brows and his eyes lighted up with a why do you ask shrugged his shoulders it is a narrow circle and you should have wide influence if one cannot fill a small place successfully and i am sure i cannot what should one do with a large and looked at him you yourself are content with a mere handful of the ah but i am sure of change said i may be the cm of the tin for four five years but scarcely longer rome plays a big game of with the world and she is always moving her when the is built oh there is to be a is there of course what would you the | 33 |
french fathers are turned out of france they come naturally to england they will buy the so ugly of in time when the of the beer makes failure he laughed then went on yes there will be a on the and in time a population i begin that when i have done my task i go elsewhere it is but a turn of the wheel there were all over england once there will be again no one puts any stop in their way and where there is land to be sold well the church has money was silent for a moment then he said perhaps after all it is a good thing that this should happen rome will gather together the the superstitious and pardon my frankness the cowardly iso holy orders he had been to meet for die past three in and end he to make the moat of it a good long talk with a intelligent individual of hia own a mental and one that he waa not often to enjoy the gentleman in the ao aa birth and education went waa die patron of the mr the resident squire who waa ever in and he good and kind waa and dull aa he had being on hunting which he pronounced and hia outlook on the world being limited to the of a compared to him waa a wit and combined and that he waa a r catholic bent on the of hia by aa many as was to quite for if there was one sure on whidi he as a minister of the church of england firmly it was the severe simplicity of his form of faith he could never understand any or superstitious as being possible to sane and thinking men and the of for his to rome had always struck him as one of the most lamentable in church history which could only be set down to the working of an over imagination and a want of logical balance in the brain to sacrifice the free god given force of reason for mere slavery must ever be the act of a weak mind therefore he was quite at his ease with his new friend who closely observant of him and taking pains to draw him out soon discovered that under his quiet self contained manner which by those who knew him not was considered soft when it was merely there was a r re and brilliant nature quick to grasp close of an them into clear evidence and that this nature wa strengthened by a singular force of will all th e because it was so seldom for nothing he too was a the tragedy of a quiet life to recognise in others which is one of the most valuable characteristics of and it was after a discussion on the of the age in religious matters that he suddenly put the very question which whenever it occurred to himself considered the of a demon are you going to stay all your life in the colour rushed to s brows and his eyes lighted up with a why do you ask shrugged his shoulders it is a narrow circle and you should have wide influence i if one cannot fill a small place successfully and i am sure i cannot what should one do with a large and looked at him you yourself are content sl mere handful of tlie ah but i am sure of change said i may be the cur of the tin for four five years but scarcely longer rome plays a big game of with the world and she is always moving her when the is built oh there is to be a is there of course what would you the french fathers are turned out of france they come naturally to england they will buy the so ugly of in time when the of the beer makes failure he laughed then went on yes there will be a on the and in time a population i begin that when i have done my task i go elsewhere it is but a turn of the wheel there were all over england once there will be again no one puts any stop in their way and where there is land to be sold well the church has money was silent for a moment then he said perhaps after all it is a good thing that this should happen rome will gather together the the superstitious and pardon my frankness i the cowardly into iso holy orders provincial he had been to meet for die past three in and around and he to make the moat of it a good long talk a and intelligent individual of his own was a mental and one that he was not often privileged to the only gentleman in die neighbourhood so as and education went was die patron of the mr the resident squire who was ever in and he though good and kind hearted was and dull brains as he had being concentrated on hunting which he pronounced and his on the world being limited to the points of a horse compared to him was a wit and combined and that he was also a r catholic priest bent on the commands of his by making as many as was to quite for if there was one sure on he as a minister of the church of england firmly it was the severe simplicity of his form of faith he could never understand any or superstitious as being possible to sane and thinking men and the of for his to rome had always struck him as one of the most | 33 |
lamentable in church history which could only be set down to the working of an over imagination and a want of logical balance in the brain to sacrifice the free god given force of reason for mere slavery must ever be the act of a weak mind therefore he was quite at his ease with his new friend who closely observant of him and taking pains to draw him out soon discovered that under his quiet self contained manner which by those who knew him not was considered soft when it was merely there was a rare and brilliant nature quick to grasp close of thought and them into clear evidence and that this nature was strengthened by a singular force of will all the more powerful because it was so seldom exercised was not a for nothing he too was a clever man and had been trained the tragedy of a quiet life to recognise in others which is one of the most valuable characteristics of and it was after a discussion on the of the age in religious matters that he suddenly put the very question which whenever it occurred to himself considered the of a demon are you going to stay all your life in the colour rushed to s brows and his eyes lighted up with a why do you ask shrugged his shoulders it is a narrow circle and you should have wide influence i if one cannot fill a small place successfully and i am sure i cannot what should one do with a large and looked at him you yourself are content with a mere handful of the faithful ah but i am sure of change said i may be the cm of the tin for four five years but scarcely longer rome plays a big game of with the world and she is always moving her when the is built oh there is to be a is there of course what would you the french fathers are turned out of france they come naturally to england they will buy the so ugly of in time when the of the beer makes failure he laughed then went on yes there will be a on the and in time a population i begin that when i have done my task i go elsewhere it is but a turn of the wheel there were all over england once there will be again no one puts any stop in their way and where there is land to be sold well the church has money i was silent for a moment then he said perhaps after all it is a good thing that this should happen rome will gather together the the superstitious and pardon my frankness the cowardly into holy orders her fold men and women are afraid of t h e mid v ea and their own abominable would be than free i o half believe in and payment to tbe church will buy their escape from eternal torment and we shall see them as they we shall know smiled and his e y e b row s you are mon ami i so bold that i like you i i almost love you i for you are true true to your own conviction and you are not afraid of one or many persons that is a magnificent courage to which i bow my soul i flushed warmly conscious that his impulsive words might have justly given his guest cause for annoyance i beg your pardon he said frankly and earnestly for the moment i myself my speech i it ought never to have been said to a minister of the church of rome i did not mean to be i assure you i but you seem so broad minded and so e from the of superstition yourself that you unconsciously led me to express thoughts which in your presence were better left he broke off visibly embarrassed done i exclaimed good i that not at all i every man s opinion is interesting to me and i am the last person to take offence at hearing it and as for broad mind ah you will soon know that is very large in me i take within my brain all all struggles for the good all sorrows all difficulties and i say alas poor men and poor women so slow to learn so hard to live so quick to die the great god cannot be angry long with these sad mortals it is all so trifling see they are bom and they do not know they feel afraid and yet they hope they do the wrong thing because they are not taught the right one they cry a little and pray a little like poor children who are naughty their good father give them a and put them to bed in the churchyard it is finish good night and then they wake the tragedy of a quiet life up in die bright morning of heaven fresh and happy and is it not so your church and mine both teach that pretty lesson and we shall never do better mon ami with all the education and all the science we shall never do better his keen blue grey eyes kindly and there was a suspicion of moisture in them i am for everything he went on and sorry for everybody one church is as useful as another and though i know the of mine as well as i know the of yours i say it matters not for all churches must move one way the way that shall give | 33 |
hope to the hopeless that shall comfort the good and frighten the bad and that shall help the poor weak ones for the strong can stand alone can any one however strong stand alone looked full at him and you will i there was something singularly compelling in his tone and was thrilled by it with a strange sensation akin to fear to stand alone had never been his ambition he had set before him as his aim and end the quiet life of a country clergyman established with a wife and in a peaceful village where no disturbing of the larger outer world should ever trouble his and contented calm far removed from the and call of humanity the struggle of nations the rise and fall of and all other urgent things which with great of eager breath and vital stir of hurrying blood are the actual heart beats of the world he had attained what his dreams had pictured as the most beautiful life for any man the life of quiet contemplation and limited influence happily associated with the of love and domestic tranquillity what then remained for him but a satisfaction as perfect as any that could be found on earth what did he need that he was not possessed of surely nothing i holy orders if he be be then warn a lurking in hie to he fm no name yoa will not always be here went on at him that is te s e e me yon will have what some of the so many in england say is a call yoa will ay go forth and you i am older than you and i have not lived so long not to know many i have seen the of trying to do good but you you have not learned oat lesson and you will try i you will half kill in the to do kind actions and they will all be they will back as curses upon you they always do the life of our lord and read the lesson each of his was treated the same he hath a and for the great crime of mankind he was see you it is the same always it will always be the same i but you will not quite believe this and you will try to imitate our lord if you try too far you also will be nailed to the and put in the perhaps you will rise perhaps not i that depends on the strength of the soul within you then you think there is no such thing as justice asked for the good none at all replied emphatically none not one bit not in this world no not at all i know not but for the bad there is much enjoyment they have what they call great fun and often die in their beds quite peacefully with the smiles of angels and if they have much money the say ah how good what souls are here gone to heaven of course i would say the same myself if a very bad person left me a hundred thousand pounds he laughed pleasantly yes that is so the bad person does very well as a rule it is natural to be bad apparently it is f to be good or i will put it that we have made social and moral laws into which the natural man does not fit when the unnatural man himself to obey the tragedy of a quiet life those laws the natural one fights against him and so it goes on always trouble always misunderstanding i so it has been from the so it will ever be you are more of a philosopher than a priest said smiling exactly so i am i i might have been another if i had not seen how foolishly himself wasted his life think of it to write the de he went to the holy land and there his sister the most true friend he ever had died of fever well i what use was all the agony the sickness the weariness the does the great world in all its sections care for the de not one bit i all the writers may write as they please but the divine personality remains divine and why because it is a simple tender loving personality itself to the poor and the suffering there are no complex side issues to its work it is love only i that is why it will remain with the world when and are forgotten they were seated in s study during this conversation luncheon was over and they had drawn their chairs up to the fireside for though the day was fine and bright a cold march wind was driving its through the air and the blaze of sparkling coal was cheery and full of comfort was in a vague sort of fashion to think how little he had noted the absence of his wife from the lunch table the meal had been a simple one but perfectly well served no particular confusion had occurred among the because the mistress of the house was away and the pleasure he had derived from the presence of a stranger who could talk about matters in which he was interested entirely softened if it did not quite the previous wretched sense of utter solitude desertion which with the departure of and baby had fallen like a cloud upon him and he was than he cared to when presently rose to take his leave must you go so soon he asked i have not said half what i should like to say holy orders v h m d pressing hand cordially | 33 |
yoa been very silent i have done all the talking and you have listened that i your way now you are a dumb i but some day you you also will speak they parted on the mutual tiiat to see deal of each other in die future agreed to over as as he to die g near the tin of which now am and in us turn promised to call at tiie whenever he found in thou mind yon i wont have you of my f not even to save die drink of be not mon i never try to or anybody it is too much trouble i open my little or tin and let the people come or stay away as they please but here is the fault of what we call our christianity if one church cannot make a bad man better it is that he should be left in his than that any other should make him good ah and he smiled as uttered a few quick eager words of protest i not mind why should i but you know it is as i say you speak as your training makes you speak and you are right to do as you are told i i do what i am told but i keep my own opinion and i say if a man is bom more savage than and there are many such it is better to soften his cruel nature by a superstition than to give up his soul altogether you will not make him understand the grand scientific no you will never teach him the miracle of the system his brain will be too shallow to accept it but he will comprehend the devil he will be troubled especially in drink by pictures of the horns and hoofs and tail yet the horns and hoofs and tail are quite common we see them every day in the oxen and as a part of the tragedy of a quiet life the devil they are only the relics of an old pagan the of the god pan and his leaping but no matter there are thousands of excellent persons calling educated who never heard of the god pan or any pagan m at all and if we may believe the so wonderful newspapers the children in are growing up without knowing any more of christ than they do of pan it is a wonderful age so clever as to be too clever and our lord s ore being so quickly fulfilled that his unworthy priests must surely tremble his voice sank and a sudden sadness darkened his features like the shadow of a cloud was silent and in a certain sense was astonished at the emotion evinced by this simple ordinary looking little man to whom at a first glance no one would have given credit for possessing any great interest in things beyond the merest commonplace duties of his calling seemed to read his thoughts for laying one hand upon his arm he went on if i were a man a man with an eloquent tongue and above all if i were a handsome man for the is always more to the male and female savages than the i would be a prophet to this time of what is coming yes of what is coming of the terror the doom that is coming not because god is angry no but because wrong must be made right by the order of the eternal which god cannot alter unless he would destroy himself there is no such thing as chaos there never was it is all law and we must obey if not then k y sl and he smiled strangely if i were a gifted man a man like i would be something of an like me exclaimed my dear sir you my powers altogether i am a nothing the most of and teachers and though i deeply feel the things you say i cannot express them not in said no that i understand to you most talk as to a child holy orders but there is a world outside and to that will speak when the time is ready he shook hands again and went on his way and left alone busied himself among his books for the rest cf the afternoon s words troubled him and made him dwell more or less on remote possibilities in the future therefore he sought to cool his mind by plunging as it were into a deep weu of study a from announced h r safe arrival at on mare and her delight at being by the sea and satisfied that she was evidently perfectly happy without him he tried for the time being to imagine h unmarried and free from all the responsibility of having other lives dependent on his own what would be his purpose in life now under such circumstances the answer came at once to resign his living and go to london london the mighty mass of good and evil london with all its deep horror beauty and london the lost soul of vast section of humanity a soul that is sinking so surely nd swiftly into choking of vice that not even the outstretched beams of the cross seem able to bear it up from destruction yet what should he do in london preach the wrath to come it would be called by the press and the public or such portion of it as by its lying daily newspapers would be induced to jest at and condemn him well what then did that matter he asked himself did not the ancient of the modem | 33 |
between em ow dare he come tell that lifted his calm clear eyes and looked full at him if you mean that for me he said slowly never came between you i only tried to save your wife from you you were too drunk to know what you were doing and you might have murdered her also tried save you yourself f gave a short laugh fine talk that is he exclaimed re r pulpit i save me from myself what d e mean i am myself an l there ain t no me outside myself any fool knows that an f it s me myself that would a bin all right ef she d a j bin left alone she was a on ne an round all well as could be till your wife parson here he his dark face forward with a threatening movement your lady wife with er airs an er graces an cr mean tongue came in tales an killed er rose suddenly and walked straight up to him dare to speak of my wife again and i ll put you out of the house he said in low perfectly even tones i don t want any quarrel with you dan but if you force one upon me it will be the worse for you stared for the moment completely taken by the s rapid movement and resolute expression then he gave vent to a hoarse chuckle so you ve got a bit o pluck about ye ave ye i he sneered can t ave your wife touched ow about my wife then my wife as is dead s pose your wife was a mine is s pose you was a goin to er into the ground to ow would j w like it one man s no worse an no better than t other if we goes by church an poor s as good as rich so i t s pose your s as any right to be took care of more n mine an ef ye knew that your wife ad bin killed by a lot o cursed an mischief m ye d feel like the man or the woman what done ye the bad turn the tragedy of a quiet life he chuckled savagely again as moved away from him with an involuntary gesture of and added you knows right enough bein parson t save ye from bein a man you justice an rights for rich an poor but when it comes to the game on square you t want your own wife blamed though mine s dead an s the right an justice o that he threw up one hand with a defiant snap of his fingers adding an all the fuss about a too by the lord i as ef t as cheap an common as on a hedge for men to gather em an sour too ef they gathered when ripe i what s to do with em i say let em rot or take em when they re offered stood still and listened there was a curious in the air like the oppressive sense of heat before thunder and he waited with an irritated sense of impatience for the lightning of a woman s name some likes men an some t went on dan them as t keeps off clear them as does comes to the first whistle an there s as turns yer ed silly more n the drink wi their looks an their smiles an their an their s an i t mind you an everybody else in the village that i went fair an crazy over miller here he paused and seemed to gather himself into a black brooding of anger remained standing in the same position and place coldly attentive what the h u was it to you burst forth again whether i ad the or she ad me what call ad your to go an an tales to mine i ve as good a right to ave a as any man an i ain t bound to ask leave of the parson neither s lips were dry and he found it difficult to speak a feverish tremor ran through his veins savage instincts such as he hardly knew be possessed stirred within him urging him to throw himself upon this brute and shake him into utter and it was only by the strongest possible effort that he maintained his self control i holy orders you are certainly not bound to ask a parson or any one else for leave to do anything he at last slowly in accents of irrepressible scorn you are a free man in a free country as men and countries go you can commit as many sins as you like you can disgrace yourself and others you can indulge in every sort of vice and you can drink yourself to death if you decide to do so and no other man can hinder you but you are to god for your conduct i laughed god oh all right i t mind god he t interfere he s made men to mate wi an to mate wi men an ow ihey do t t matter to im as long as tis done i god didn t look out o the sky an say t ye go wi dan i or dan t ye go i i not e i there ain t no nonsense o that kind in all creation wi an visitors i mind though t say but that ef ad a bin a straight td a left er alone but she was bom a bad un as sweet as an as as a an she d a took any man she wanted it to be me but it might | 33 |
a just as easy to be you the drew his quickly and his eyes grew dark with repressed pain but he said not a word in reply it might just as easy to be you repeated dan taking a sort of stupid satisfaction in the assertion one was as good as t other to she d a took any one she ad a mind to she fancied me an i was the one yes i was and he gave vent to a low she can t get over that whatever she an she goes an the actor fellow she s gone with now is the second much good may it do im but ef she d stayed on in the village she d a got every man she wanted an she d a ad you as sure as you re alive she said as much to me once when she wanted to me i ll make love to the parson some day dan see ef i t she an she the pins out of er air an lets it all fall about er to drive a chap silly i ll look at the tragedy of a quiet life im so r an she makes a cherry of er mouth an er big eyes an i ll old of im so an she puts er arms round my neck an when e goes to read the prayers in church e u see but my face at the altar that s what she said gospel true an she d a er still was silent he was very pale but he stood motionless he had nothing to say no argument was possible with such a man as this no one t swear as she worn t the finest on the went on as pretty as the devil could make er an as an gay as a young an ef it s god s will that a should take to a man an a man to a why t e show it why t e talk to the birds an the beasts an tell em they re all a goin to ell they what we re told not to do an it s all rot an so far as a man s for a man s a man wi the ways of a man an ef you worn t a parson you d be an say the i ain t done no more arm than a what out a new mate every spring he paused waiting for to speak while himself vaguely wondered what he was expected to say at last he forced himself into utterance when you married your wife he said coldly you swore before god to be faithful to her did you not dan s eyes shifted to and fro uneasily i did he answered sullenly but there ain t no man in the as sticks to one woman then meeting the s straight glance he burst out savagely there ain t i say ay ye may look an look at me till yer eyes falls out o yer ed an it t make no to my way o there s not a man alive low nor as ever to is wife all is days year in an year out i t care who e be the squire or m they se all made o the same stuff an she knew that well bein a sensible all along knew it an so does all know t they jest they t it but they do ah an holy orders ain t no exception they goes for the most an many on em ud risk ell for a like that they ud an small blame to em td take the chance of ao in the next cheerful an so long as i could ave in this one an now thanks to your where she t no business i ve lost as well as o course i know d that there actor fellow as was a round way ad got is eye on er a smooth faced old enough to be tr father wi grey airs an a made up skin but e to be a gentleman e did an that s what wanted she told me she d be a lady se she be a lady in a theatre hke what we reads about in the as o money she ain t got an as thousands o pounds worth o debts for the clothes she wears an a rich an lives with ever so many lovers an is took about by an goes on board the king s that s bein a real lady that is t so she an that s what she s after an by g d shell ave er way look ere parson you talks o the drink an the arm the drink to the man but ef you wants to put a stop to real mischief you ll ave to stop the papers that s your ticket stop them into die village wi the s london tales o what the dirty folks is a wi for those tales drives more country to the bad than any lot o men love to em the paper more arm than all the put together heard this attentive patience the coarse eloquence of the man moved him to a certain surprise he had not thought i capable even when sober of expressing himself so forcibly for there was truth in what he said truth that could not be denied and his thoughts wandered to the actor who had taken he caught himself wondering whether he could be traced and the girl rescued rescued but to what purpose would the rescue serve the has grown and indifferent to the ruin of women he sighed | 33 |
ye leave out the best part o my with ye an that s what i said about your an it s what i stick to my s death lies at er door an for that matter s goin off sudden like lies at er door too and i ll here he raised a clenched fist in air have it even with er yet she s away i knows she s away this afraid to ear of all the trouble she s brought upon a poor man s ome but she ll have to m holy orders come back an i con wait patient i can bide my time i made no answer he was inwardly quivering with suppressed rage but he knew it would be worse than useless to continue arguing with a man for whom there was no god and no conscience he drew some papers towards him and feigned to be busy examining them d ye ear me said in a louder tone i can bide my time turned a calm pale face upon him hear he rejoined and i say god you i his eyes shone and clear despite their strained look of suffering they were eyes that expressed a soul to the performance of duty no matter how difficult or such duty might be r was a god forgive you t uttered than by the lips of this country whose passions as a mere man were all on fire whose hands longed to be at the throat of the brute whose threats were so vague and yet so suggestive of cruelty and who would have given every penny he possessed to be permitted to kick the cowardly of his wife out of the house no early christian martyr saying god forgive you to his roman more praise for self restraint and heavenly patience than at that moment for he showed no sign of what was passing in his mind and so tranquil did he seem that staring at him began to be angrily conscious of his inferiority as to gentleman he gave a coarse laugh that s all ye is it god forgive ye he sneered that s all got to say looked at him that s all he said there was a pause and for one moment the two men gazed full at one another as though each sought to drag forth some thought in both their souls then dan opened the study door roughly went out and the tragedy of a quiet life it after him he was gone with a deep sigh of relief sprang up and threw back the windows admitting a rush of fresh cold air i don t think i could have stood it a moment longer he said half aloud the room of the pot house good god is the soul of a man like precious to the infinite and divine powers does it deserve to be can it be honestly considered as more valuable than the soul of a beast of the field which has the virtues of and humility and if it is so considered who is to save it what force on earth or in heaven could stop this from drinking himself into madness save death none surely none it is his own choice and no one can hinder him least of all the parson whom he and whom others like him equally despise because religion is brought into contempt by the very laws of the land such laws they would punish a newspaper for against the king but they leave it for the against christ we the clergy preach and though there are bad amongst us the good the good who try to do their duty but what is spoken from the pulpit is contradicted by the press the whole country with and filthy literature which so called praise and the ministers of christ s gospel appeal in vain against the wickedness and corruption in high places because these are grown so strong and are so well established by actual law that it will need a second coming of christ to the of the social hive the second coming of christ when will that be god knows i would it were soon he paced up and down his room and his glance presently fell on a pretty photograph of his wife that stood on a small table near his desk the sweet young face smiled at him and he paused in front of it looking at it long and earnestly till suddenly he found his eyes with tears poor little woman he murmured tenderly poor innocent little woman and then he thought of miller he remembered holy orders every detail of her the last time he had seen her he knew the exact and particular shade of blue she had worn he could almost see the fashion of her open at the throat to show the whiteness of her skin and the of the flowers she had just above the full curve of her bosom and even she had come fresh from the embraces of dan a shudder ran through him a kind of such as might possibly affect a sensitive man if he were told that a delicately bird had men the and been trampled by a swine could she not have been saved from such a te bob s dying cries save rang in his ears with if he had only known i but he had never even suspected that she could or would have had so much as a passing fancy for such a creature as dan her with no more evil than an excess of vanity and he had thought of her as a wild half educated girl endowed with an extraordinary beauty which in her | 33 |
case amounted to a misfortune a girl who needed to be dealt with firmly yet kindly and he had hoped that in time with care and teaching he might have helped to mould her character and fit her for some service as this reflection crossed his mind he felt his face grow hot with mingled anger and shame for while he like a fool had been meditating on possible ways and means for her better training she if her lover t be believed had merely been to number him the of the parish among her the whole episode worried him he would have given a great deal had he been able to forget it but it was just one of those uncomfortable which in the whole length of a lifetime refuse to be forgotten that evening he found the very lonely and himself very restless it was a fine night though cold the sky was covered with masses of dense which drifted along so slowly as to almost appear motionless and now and then a solitary star gleamed forth like a glowing through smoke to vanish again as it appeared a of frost made the tragedy of a quiet life the air keen and and deciding that a walk would do him good before retiring to rest he put on his hat and overcoat and went out as he shut his house door behind him he stood for a moment in the garden listening as it were to the silence it was a silence heavy and intense yet suggestive of an under current of sustained sound that sullenly refused to make itself audible one heard nothing yet felt that there was everything to hear oppressed and by his own thoughts he went quickly across the lawn and through the dark winding to the gate which opened upon the and there leaned for a moment looking at the dim twinkle of the lights in the village of very few and uncertain in their like glow worms shining in a moist of green a handful of souls he mused just a handful scarcely enough to make the merest speck of dust in the whirl of the i and yet we must believe that god cares for even this handful he the gate and passing out walked on down the road towards the bridge from that point he could command a view of both old and new and here the solemn stillness of the night was broken by the noise of the little stream running along no doubt with quite as busy a cheerfulness as when the built their arch of stone across it on either side of the bridge to the east on the one hand to the west on the other a strong of light shone forth with a vivid yellow brilliancy and sighed impatiently as he looked at what he knew was the fiery of drink flaming from the two public houses which so far from being rivals were concerned in making as much as they could for themselves and for to whom they were tied out of the bodies and souls of the villagers who consumed the deadly poison they were to sell all the mischief is there he said half aloud in the drink which it would seem that heaven itself is powerless to fight against if by some miracle of those holy orders two public houses could be or done away with i should have more hope of the men and women committed to my charge but while the actual laws of the country permit so many blood as and spirit to make utter of the moral and physical condition of the people what can i or any member of ray calling do our are met with derision and we ourselves are looked upon as tools for our pains even the teaching of christ himself hardly touches the drink question for he preached his gospel in the east where is not a national vice i have heard special quote hi own words and actions as arguments in favour of the because he praised the more than the in the and also because his first miracle was to turn water into wine and they recall his choice of the whom he commanded to follow him and they relate the story of how made him a great feast in his own house and there a great company of and others that sat down with them so they would argue the founder of the christian faith would seem to have rather favoured than blamed the of drink to the people it is all very difficult and very the evil is one which we clergy ought to fight but we lack both the means and the authority for combat just then he heard a confused din as of shouting and laughter echoing out on the air from the public house whidi was nearest to where he stood the and crow with whose proprietor mr he had ventured to plead against the sale of more drink to dan on the day of that man s assault on his wife he walked towards it halting immediately opposite its brightly lit up windows two of which were open at the top though the blinds were all drawn to prevent any stray by from seeing what was going on inside one blind however was not quite down between its lower edge and the there was about an inch of clear glass and through this some half a dozen small boys of the village were earnestly the tragedy of a quiet life peeping all holding each other by the arms and pressing their noses against the pane the tin like of a bad piano badly played struck the of the outer air with a rough blow of vulgarity and every now and then the roar of men s laughter by | 33 |
a feminine scream or hysterical outraged the peaceful hush of night the boys who were through their inch of window pane were frequently with mirth at certain moments they bent and doubled up their childish figures with such an excess of laughter that as they stood in the darkness by the of the lights within they suggested to the mind a band of fantastic engaged in watching the progress of some mischief to humanity looked at them but though he knew every boy in the village he could not immediately identify them presently however when he saw them rolling together as it were one upon another in a prolonged and united fit of ecstasy he went straight up to them boys what are you doing here he asked gently they all turned and stared at him one of them a little with a of fair curls falling over his innocent blue eyes answered we was the folk patted the small head and do you think they re worth looking at he asked another bigger boy spoke they se like the at the he said all a over each other an a at chairs an tables to keep steady an there s as is all their air down an silly one of his sunday school lads took him gently by the arm i wish you d all go home he said kindly not a pretty sight it s a shocking horrible sight try to forget you ve ever seen it or if you must remember let it remain in your mind as something to be feared and avoided there s holy orders nothing so vile and ugly in all the world as a know vm right don t you they peeped up at a chorus of small voices answered yes sir he smiled and led them along in a little group away from the scene which had so fascinated them run home like good children he said home to your mothers and to bed i if s time for you all to be sound asleep good night i god b ess you i off went all the uttle caps in a good night sir lifted his own hat and stood bare headed in the quiet for a moment while these small of future manhood went their way in obedience to the impression his kind voice and manner had made upon them and there was a moisture in his eyes as he watched them disappear poor little souls he murmured who can blame them if their early of life and the things of life are dark and crooked man s wilful degradation of himself is bad enough but when he his children and through them the of his own disease to future generations surely no estimate can sufficiently the enormous extent of his selfishness and crime it is not of ourselves we should think for ourselves are always too much with us it is of others others upon whom our conduct and example may have a lasting good or evil influence at that moment a yell of hysterical laughter pierced the air and through the open doorway of the and crow some eight or nine men and women came out into the road the piano went on inside and two women with their hair tossing loosely about their faces and their hats falling off like battered on their backs began to dance wildly opposite each other in the fantastic common to the stage and known as the cake walk i the tragedy of a quiet life come on dan they screamed come on an show us a bit o yer quality i and of laughter went up from the whole group as dan in a condition that can only be as dead drunk suddenly staggered forward and his swollen and out of all intelligent human semblance by the red fire of the liquor that inwardly and consumed him and his massive figure swaying with an helplessness like a drifting log to and fro in the strong cross currents of a swift stream the women rushed at him and seized him one on either side and each an arm and so between them the wretched fool was made to heavily backwards and forwards like a clumsy bear in chains amid repeated shrill and hoarse of laughter step it out dan cried one man stumbling back against the public house door step it out td dance all night if my old was dead another roar of laughter hailed this and the insane cake walk went on with vigour improved and sustained by sundry fits of on the part of which were loudly applauded by the of hands and stamping of feet all at once and quite quietly stepped out from the shadows which had till now concealed his presence and stood for a moment in view of the company there was a sudden pause an equally sudden silence then one of the women who held s arm burst into a laugh it s the parson she me it s the parson stopped in his like shuffling and tried to steady himself the parson he e a of ere im out d ye ear boys im out we t want no ere talking an mighty an wi the poor man s ome here he gave a heavy forward and would have men but for the women who holy orders still held him up we t want no he repeated raising his rough voice to a savage roar damn em all i say eh boys damn em all without a word or further look the turned and walked away as he disappeared the self important proprietor of the and crow mr suddenly showed himself at the threshold of his premises and smiled on the group of his recent customers who were together with dan whom | 33 |
mr s birthday dan wouldn t miss that if e d got twenty wives bein buried he s a new hand at the an of course they ll drink is said nothing silent was not usually so mr s birthday it is i he went on with a kind of inward chuckle that s a fine thing for ain t it and he threw an extra large of earth into the grave he drinks is own in water an he s kind enough to let his men drink it in poison the let this satire pass without comment dan has left the village for good then i suppose he said or for bad retorted ay it seems like it with this last remark he into his usual watched him working for a while and then rain beginning to fall returned to the and to the quiet of his own study here he made combat against his own sense holy orders of utter depression by writing a long letter to his wife though he was not at all sure she would read it through the charming was fond of asserting that letters bored her especially when she was expected to answer but he felt the necessity of expressing his thoughts to somebody even though that somebody might be as far as mental was concerned the merest nobody so he an eloquent tender graceful and affectionate telling her everything be imagined she might wish to know softening all that was gloomy or unpleasant in the incident and only dwelling particularly on the fact that pan himself had now left the village to work at s ten miles off so that she need not fear any personal annoyance from him in her daily walks at home don t stay away now unless you like he concluded think that a day without you and is to me longer than a year and come back soon for i am very lonely want you every for life itself is too short a span in which to express how much i love you and he signed himself as usual her devoted husband feeling satisfied that his appeal would bring her back at once in fact when his letter was posted he began to look up the possible trains by which she could return the very next day she will be sure to come he said to himself when she knows is out of the village she mil want to get home as quickly as she can but in this he was mistaken did not want to get home quickly by any means he was indeed altogether unprepared for the ease with which she managed to exist his company she answered his letter and told him she was so happy at the sea side and baby was so well that it seemed dreadful to have to return to too soon i m so glad darling she wrote in her pretty running hand that the dreadful man has gone out of the place he was a horror but he s just the sort of that would like to have in his nasty yards the tragedy of a quiet life rolling about or driving a along i should say he would do very well as a hand and as he will always be he will be quite a nice advertisement for s ale won t he baby is so and lovely i he makes the most beautiful sand and actually finds just a few days longer dear old dick and we will come home he sighed as he finished reading the light school girl sentences then he smiled poor little woman he murmured tenderly i it s very dull for her here very dull i even love itself is not always sufficient to monotony love itself here he paused and began to think as to the nature of love it has been defined as the law of attraction between the sexes and if any estimate is to be formed by the conduct of the present day man and woman in their marriages it seems no more this but to richard it was much more to him love meant the of life it does not mean this to the majority of men once now and again the vision of the ideal shines into the soul of a poet or other world s but that it should descend firom the high and dwell with a plain country parson is a strange and unusual yet so it was and the conception of perfect love which he cherished with such tender made him a much greater man than he himself to be and in were hidden beneath this central pure flame which his existence and the intellectual power that lay within him was being steadily nourished and strengthened by many springs of bitter sweetness to flowed through his whole being though they often poured themselves to waste on the very small and limited plot of love s garden ground which his pretty wife with her graceful figure and charming face represented and moved by the which always led him to consider her happiness more than his own he resigned himself cheerfully to the loneliness her absence imposed upon him to let t holy orders her enjoy herself at the sea side as long rs she liked without any personal complaint meanwhile he went about his ordinary duties with energy believing that if he mingled familiarly with his and showed no sign of or embarrassment they would open their hearts to him freely on the matter of the episode concerning which he felt there was much more to learn than had yet been but in this expectation he was disappointed the villagers were sad not to say sullen they received him everywhere enough but they were distinctly not in the humour to any confidences | 33 |
a different sort of parson to most of your class holy are really holy to you and you evidently want to do the right thing well i do it and never mind if you re called names it s still possible to preach christ to humanity in the true way a way i hope i may find said gently i shall not forget your words as for the villagers falling off in attendance at went on brand pay no attention to it they only for a week or like children they ll soon come out of the comer the chief element of trouble has left the place miller yes i wonder where she has gone put the question quickly and with eagerness brand at him does it matter oh it matters nothing but the wreck of a young girl s life she has wrecked it herself if it f a wreck said brand you may consider her as ruined but she considers her made she has gone off with an actor a fellow pretty well known for his character and conceit he gets up provincial amateur dramatic societies and for county that will fee him for training them to make of themselves on die stage he snapped up for her face and figure and has got her a place so i hear at some london theatre as a girl i shouldn t wonder if she ends by becoming a you jest and s brows darkened she has gone to a life of shame you think of course you would think so here brand smiled she doesn t anyway she b an the life of shame here here in apparently innocent looking little and i repeat with her beauty and her wa rs she probably marry one of our who has no idea of a woman beyond her body virtue is out holy orders of date the odd made by some of out modem men show that they have apparently ceased to care whether woman ia good or the reverse only the other day a girl who was brought up before a magistrate on a charge of her had five offers of before she left the court what can you make of that i know plenty of good honest girls fit to be excellent wives and never a breath of scandal has touched them yet they don t get one offer of man much les five of a certain none of whose children were bom in and who nevertheless is a leader of society the times are corrupt and the best and most patient of us can only pray that some great revolution will break out upon us before it is too late and the nation of its accumulated he spoke with strong feeling adding it s no good my getting on these topics my thoughts brim over and i talk too much but the days are ripe for another peter the to pre ft new and higher of course if a preacher came he would be laughed at he would be made the butt of the cheap newspaper and the joke of the stable and the but if he were a strong and above all a sincere man he wouldn t mind all that and he might turn back the tide of national disaster even now thought over this conversation for days after it had taken place days that were rather more than usually productive of meditation owing to his being so much alone the little roman catholic priest came over to see him several times his visits making a pleasant break in what to him was a long and irksome solitude and the at first merely congenial acquaintance between the two men began to into a warm friendship was not only and kindly but he also was gifted with a cheerfulness of disposition so great as to make his presence eminently welcome and desirable in dull weather a fact which he himself appeared to recognise for he generally chose cold east windy for over to the sometimes in the ver teeth of a strong gale blowing hard against him em r a i the tragedy of a quiet life i love the cold i he would say i love the cross wind i they are good to fight often i have quarrel in my quarrel with the world quarrel with wicked human quarrel with myself and it is better to use one s angry force against bad weather than against bad men that is how your did he was often very angry he must have wished to chop off heads instead of that he down trees so wise of him to get rid of hot blood it is what you call to let off steam was often amused at the little man s philosophy i believe you are never out of temper he said to him one day you never seem to be annoyed or anxious or sorry about anything spread out his plump hands a air ah you mistake he answered i am not of stone my not all indifferent no but to be why should i be at what for whom for some one who thinks he troubles me then i give him a pleasure by showing that le is of importance to me then again to be anxious will make me that i am not at all sure of god this would be wicked for i am sure of him here he shook his finger emphatically in the air sure remember in this age of n to put so to the credit of a priest roman but to be sorry ah yes i am sorry all | 33 |
church will rather let a man s soul perish altogether in wickedness than he will see a priest of the church roman save him and i say to you is that christian had risen from his chair during the last two or three minutes and was now standing his companion with a look of very real distress in his eyes do h n you think me so narrow so he began was beside him instantly tapping a friendly hand on his arm no no i do not think that you the man are so but you the priest the parson of the church is it not your duty to keep all your own sheep in your own fold it is so certainly but hesitated pained and perplexed but ah it is a but now i will tell you what your business is my friend it is to say at once that you do not think the roman can save the soul of the or any soul whatever that you do not believe that any church has any good in it but the english church that is what you should say to me why do you not say it the tragedy of a quiet life he looked up with a bright questioning glance was silent let us be men you and went on let us say what we think and be honest before all things for the good god is surely looking at us let us bravely confess that neither of us are at all sure whether we or our different churches are strong enough or pure to save any soul and so in our different ways of teaching let us do our best without quarrel it is quarrel that makes all the mischief quarrel that again nails our dear lord to the cross we must not grudge one another our very small and a quick impulsive movement he held out his hand pressed it warmly you are right he said and i certainly shall not grudge you any victory you may win over but i think you ll have to conquer first laughed ah that i will not try a is worse than a when he does not drink his own beer i he then calls himself respectable and the devil b ins to love him i the church may have some power over a really bad man who knows he is bad and it but never over a respectable fraud that evening the little priest remained to dine and sleep and what with the of an intricate game of followed by an examination of certain old books and which possessed and of whidi was an able and intelligent judge the time passed so quickly and agreeably that all depression and were banished and for one evening at least life at ceased to be tedious and the s outlook seemed to have so much so indeed that he was in a manner startled when shortly after s departure next morning he received a from his wife announcing that she was returning home that very day surprise however soon gave way to delight and his spirits rose to an almost boyish pitch of excitement as he went about the house putting of such as he holy orders could find or on the various tables in the rooms urging the servants to make everything look as bright as possible for their mistress s coming and all the time feeling in his own mind that the best he could do was but poor service for so fair and a creature as who so he imagined have had a palace to dwell in with gaily attired at her and call rather than an old fashioned country with only an old fashioned country to place his heart under her little feet and thank her for on it for i am old fashioned he with himself there s not a doubt of il i m old fashioned in my opinions and my ways and tm dull i don t wish to disguise it l m certainly dull i wonder how a can put up with me sometimes for if find life in rather slow what must she with all her grace and beauty find it poor little soul and yet no prettier home ever threw open its doors to any woman than when just as evening was closing in arrived and springing lightly out of the old dog cart which had been sent to the station to meet her submitted to be caught in her husband s embrace and kissed with all a lover s oh dick she exclaimed as she entered the house we have had such a good time look at baby did you ever see such a brown darling the brown darling here handed over by nurse to receive his father s caresses was indeed the picture of health though he was only very slightly brown the sea had certainly given a warmer tinge to his fair skin and his eyes were more wonderful than ever or at least so richard thought as the little fellow raised them to his face with all the serious sweetness that painted in the eyes of his child angels at the feet of the virgin it was difficult to imagine a child with such eyes ever growing up for eyes so pure and brilliant are never seen in the head of an man evil thoughts and gross desires soon the first heavenly clearness of those of the soul and such the tragedy of a quiet life men and women as possess any heart conscience or feeling must surely when looking into a child s eyes feel something of r even of shame that such beautiful trust and therein expressed should be destined to and disappointment was often troubled by such | 33 |
an emotion and at times he would even think whether the world being what it is it is right or just to inflict upon any innocent spirit the doom of mortal life especially if as advanced maintain life is only another name for death i am thankful said a philosopher once that i have no children i could not have endured the terrible responsibility of bringing more into such a hell as man has made this world for his brother man at the present moment however the and gaiety of s presence drove every other thought out of her husband s head and the happiness he felt in having hb wife and child the two treasures of his heart safely home again his own roof tree was too great to be clouded by so much as the and how the little woman to be sure i chiefly of the shops in mare and of the fashions in that from fashionable sea side resort where the is the principal personage in evidence and where the attired of take the air much more frequently than my lady tom of london town but modes as could display were of course positively to the fancy of a pretty feminine creature whose purchases had often to be made at the small general store in village where a mild fat man of bacon and plain with equally zealous and hands occasionally but only occasionally went to and even to to buy little for herself and baby dear but shops were expensive she said and shops a little behind the time and as for well no self respecting woman would ever descend to such a level of costume as that set forth by models seemed to have fitted itself into a blank place in her holy orders and she of dress in a rippling way that was quite bewildering to though he did his best to understand it all and to with the ardent feeling which no mere husband s love could rouse in her the thrill of the lace the joy of the hat the dreamy delirium of the tea gown i wish i were rich enough to buy such pretty things for you he said gently as she finished a on the glory of a blue frock embroidered in silver you ought to have them of course i ought she agreed merrily as she came and seated herself like a on his knee i ought to have the most beautiful clothes for i l w i do j and baby ought to be dressed like a little prince but youve only a clergyman poor dear dick and tm only a clergyman s wife and there we stick i don t we here she kissed lightly and after all it s no good having nice clothes when one lives in there s nobody to dress for no i suppose there isn t richard sighed then his eyes sparkled with a kindly mischievous little smile there s only mrs and you can always make her jealous if you only wear a cotton frock i nodded her fair head very of course i always do and i always shall but that s such easy work she s so and she hasn t a of taste she ought to have dan was silent he held his wife s left hand in his own and his eyes rested on the wedding ring that encircled her tiny third finger what a symbol it was till death do us part till death the thought of death gave him a pang and he folded the warm little hand closer you re glad to be home again darling he asked wistfully glad to be with me she looked at him smiling of course fm glad to be with you dick i m not quite the tragedy of a quiet life glad to be home because well because it s a bit dull and the people are so stupid and the villagers drink so dreadfully his kind face clouded a little yes i know i know it must be dull for you i wish i could change the character of the place and the people altogether for the better he said rather sorrowfully but you will have no more very great annoyance never comes near the village oh i m not of him w she said carelessly it s all over you see his poor wife is buried i m sure she must be glad to be out of her misery and that wicked girl has gone away nobody knows where and we shall have peace except when more drunken men knock their wives about as they re sure to for the whole neighbourhood simply with however even peace is rather tame when one gets too much of it isn t it some people find it so he answered slowly till they make war and then they for peace again never satisfied just like me laughed but i m going to be very good dick i promise i m going to visit all the old crippled men and women and take of soup into all the cottages and after the pigs and the poultry and the babies and leave tracts all about everywhere i will there and the people shall show me all their bad legs and sore toes and and other horrors and look at them because though i di f think god wants me to look at them particularly still i suppose it s my duty to do so and be ever so and proper she broke into a silvery little ripple of mirth and threw her arms round his neck you wait and see wear an old woman s if you | 33 |
like ill try and be very and in fact you won t know me i ll be so good and quiet her gay laughter rang out again and richard half pained half amused was fain to laugh with her but that night as she lay sleeping on his arm her lovely gold hair loosely round her like a shower of round a rose he looked holy orders at lier with a strange da sense of complete the pale glimmer of the night limp showed him the whiteness of her throat and bosom the long of her eyes sweeping the delicate bloom of her cheeks the crimson of her lips through which the breath came and went all this beauty of body as his he thought and yet yet he had somehow failed to possess the soul that surely was contained like a jewel in that exquisite of pearl and ivory it was an soul the soul of a butterfly rather than the soul of a woman but this he would not admit even to himself no man cares to that his wife is of all persons in the world the one least sympathetic to him for he has generally made both his own choice and h s own mistake and richard was for the immediate hour no stronger or wiser than most of his sex and therefore himself with the outward loveliness of the woman he adored accepting it a the of an inner nature which he was not pure enough to so he soothed and his restless with the gentle of humility and self while the dumb mysterious forces that secretly work in with natural laws to mould the character of a human being of whom the world has need gathered closer together around him in light clouds of counsel clouds which were destined to and break over his devoted head in a storm of command chapter xi time passes slowly in an english village so slowly indeed that to active and ambitious minds the lapse between one sunday and the next seems more like months than days the smaller the of persons the is their outlook on life and the more self do they become the infinitely little matters of a provincial town loom large to the brain of the provincial and still more important are the of the village pump to a handful of villagers such people know and care to know nothing cf the larger world whether kings or handle the reins of government is a matter of indifference to them provided their own plots are seasons come and go the sharp spring offers them just sufficient matter for grumbling till summer arrives to be grumbled at in its turn as being either too moist or too dry or too windy or too summer passes into autumn which brings them their annual burden of cherished complaints and divers other and pains then the long winter down over them with its mornings and nights of black frost and its pale cold of utter when nothing occurs of any interest from the beginning of the day to the end of it nothing to rouse the intellect or give the slightest to the vital forces and no reason is apparent why such lives should be lived at all unless it is necessary to remind man that in his type he is not much higher in the scale of creation than a of course for those whose minds are tempered to fine issues holy orders and whose brains are not rendered by the constant pressure of solitude and monotony there is much pleasure to be found in the rural life so by certain poets who have never lived it for the intellectual eye beauty everywhere and in everything in the red of d ing leaves at the damp fall of the year in the sparkle of frost on the window pane ij the thousand and one things that help to strike harmonious on the strings of sentiment but even to a intellect no matter how well controlled by a spirit a rural district which is wholly lacking in refined or intelligent society is apt to grow more to live in as the time goes on for is like steel it strike against something of the same resisting quality as itself before sparks of fire can be thus it happened that the reverend richard shut as it were within himself ceased to struggle against what appeared to be his life s and unconsciously but none the less surely became more and more of a silent reserved and almost shy man quite managing in this way to the breach which had been so created between himself and his by the episode it was a breach that he could not help his gentle efforts to build up harmony again out of what had been a discord in the parish were not appreciated and dan foul mouthed and dan in a place of trust at s dan earning good wages every week and drinking two of free poison every day one in the and one more in the evening besides a number of other drinks at his own expense was spoken of by the people as something of a hero while his dead wife was as a martyr to church interference miller s name was seldom mentioned though were about that her portrait as one of the chorus girls in a greek classical play had been seen in a london it was mrs who heard this piece of news and she repeated it to mortar she was took with no clothes on and mrs the tragedy of a quiet life in announcing the startling ct which is to say just a shift off er an er air down that ud be all over the aged bricks and | 33 |
mortar chuckled so it so it ood he an mighty fine she d look in a shift mighty fine wouldn t she now just the shape for a shift i d give a bob to see her like that myself mercy on us mrs shot this exclamation at him as fix m a pop n an you on the brink o kingdom come well mr i ad thought better o you shook his grey head to and fro like the figure of a chinese s the arm s the arm he demanded if we the bible the lord made us at the first wi no on an we was all good and as in the wood then ow d ye get out o that mrs made no attempt to get out of it she simply gave another and retired into obscurity nothing however of the supposed public representation of reached the ears of either the or his wife so far as they two were concerned the villagers seemed to be together in a conspiracy of silence on the subject and once when seized by a sudden restless desire to know or hear something of the lost girl called at the miserable and ill kept cottage where the old woman lived who was understood to be s or great aunt he was met by a torrent of firom the bent and wrinkled who like one of the worst looking of s shook her fist in the air and bade him get off her she was half dressed and more than half drunk and her voice rang sharp and shrill by what was familiarly known in the neighbourhood as s off my she you black of a parson you round to me inter my grave as ye are ye not for me thank i holy orders drove my away from met e to do my work an my a pore old soul like with the t and here tears made in the dirt on her face an did it to you whether she was one man s art or an the kid as was a would a bin rare an useful to me if t ad bin a boy oft an out wi ye i dan s worth a dozen of ye it was impossible to speak with the old creature in her fury and shuddering inwardly at her words and u they implied made no attempt at either or argument and the name of miller never passed his lips though the thought of her lay deeply concealed in his mind the months on slowly and bringing no very marked change to lis surroundings or its inmates the increasing intimacy between the and their friend of an opponent church on his first introduction to the s pretty wife had made no attempt to conceal his frank admiration of her beauty and grace and was like many another charming woman pleased to have her good looks appreciated by some other man than her husband for husbands even the most affectionate ones sometimes to say the sweet which came so readily to their lips when they were lovers and wives often vainly for the fond observation of eye and tenderness of speech to which they were accustomed before marriage was like a child in her eager response to flattery she loved a compliment and her whole nature for as a river plant for water saw this and humoured her and kindly as a father might humour a spoilt daughter and they became great friends he liked the little creature he listened to her gay about baby dear and all the other small domestic concerns which made up the sum of her daily life with the most patience though now and then he suppressed a slight sigh of weariness and glanced curiously at richard wondering how it had chanced that the tragedy of a quiet life complete had become united in holy matrimony and he occasionally gave secret thanks to the tes that had made him a roman catholic priest and a though this was a point upon which often dwelt with delightfully earnest it must be so dreadful for you she would say raising her beautiful eyes full of compassion to his face to have no one to love you and take care of you i think the rules of your are simply cruel i just fancy no one to mend your shirts and and things how ever do you manage and would smile ah madame he would answer to mend shirts and b an easy matter and my housekeeper who is as old and sad to see as you are lovely and charming is careful of me in that regard then she is a good cook all wives are not that madame she wash she mend she iron she she work for me from morning night for very money but she never she never she do all i tell eh she is happy and so am i but really now sometimes persisted wouldn t you have liked to be married and then shook his head madame i have seen the world he replied do not be angry with me to your question i must answer no thought this very wrong and absurd of him unnatural she termed it to her husband he s really such a pleasant little man she said so clever such a good and all that it is sad that he should be a roman catholic priest now if he were a church of england clergyman and there were a mrs how nice it would have been for me richard smiled at this it might not have been nice at all he said you might not have liked mrs she might have been holy orders jealous of you | 33 |
things might have happened that would have made our two families mortal foes you never can tell s all right as he is better single than married think opened her eyes wide better single she r oh dick would you rather be without he took her in his arms now darling aren t you turning the whole question round the wrong way he demanded you know i wouldn t couldn t be without you you know i wouldn t couldn t be better single but is different he has vowed himself to the service of god only he broke off was looking at him in surprise but haven t also vowed yourself to the service of god she asked haven t taken holy orders a slight shadow of perplexity swept across his brow yes of course i have but somehow it is different how different surely a married man can serve god as well as a bachelor oh and she gave vent to one of her musical rippling of merriment you might just as well say a bird can t sing when it has a mate she ran off gaily and left richard half smiling half serious and not a little troubled in spirit by the lurking consciousness that after all the roman catholic church has good authority for the of priests inasmuch as the founder of the christian faith has certainly demanded from his all or nothing and yet to give up the joy and consolation of human love was surely too much to ask and against the very teaching of all nature but then again what is the example furnished by the natural world to eat sleep breed and die nothing the natural world itself voices no thought it merely suggests thought to its dominant creature man that dominant creature is permitted to use its vast resources to into its secrets to the depth of its hidden treasures and though in strength as compared with the huge forces around him is given the eyes and the mind to the tragedy of a quiet life weigh and consider not only the material and physical nature of the globe on which he dwells but also the movements and mysteries of larger worlds beyond his ken with such es as these is there no higher intention for a being so richly endowed than that of the usual of animal life on the planet there is there must be else creation were little more than a cruel comedy and richard thinking of these things could not but admit to himself that christ s mission to humanity was to teach and that higher intention of life wherefore it followed that his servants and ministers should equally both by and example teach and the same principle now did the roman catholic church on these lines better than the this was the question he put to his conscience and his reason replied at once in the strongest possible negative again did the church and all the which like branches from a tree around it truly and faithfully the doctrine of christ in all its purity here the reply came hesitatingly and reluctantly no but we do our and an inward passion of regret moved him as he thought of the of the modem day the of the law which in liberty of conscience in religious matters forgets to set a restraint on open against god and things divine and which in re new methods of education blindly the way for the bringing up of a generation of a generation without without morals without heart without love without pity such an evil and generation as is bound to be the disgrace and ruin of a once glorious empire we do our best he repeated sorrowfully we do our wretched little best i and we know how wretched and little it is we know that the press fights the pulpit as fight always under cover of and friendship with a poisoned knife in a velvet glove we know even know that if the government could stop the sale of strong drink all over the it would not because of orders to the national it would rather see one quarter one half of the population or through drink and all set free to the race of and than make any positively firm stand against the evil it will not even frame laws that shall insist on the selling of pure to the million as a matter of right and justice the who beer the who should be heavily punished not only by a fine which is a mere farce but by several months imprisonment without any of getting bought off and in that case government would have to several members of its own house but nothing will be done nothing that is to say of any real service and will increase and and the earth and subdue it ministers of the gospel are blamed because their teaching of christianity cannot persuade men and women to greater self control but what minister of a parish would hold the place for a week if he dealt plainly with every one in it preacher ever preached truth to a king or queen without receiving a polite intimation that majesty would not again require his services why if an entered the private apartment of king edward the seventh or the and ventured to reproach either one or the other the heavenly messenger would be out of the royal presence by a or court for we are the after all we pretend to believe in god and yet if we are that our conduct is opposed to everything god like we are at once offended no ministers of the gospel can do nothing or at | 33 |
least very little in such an age as the present all we can hope is that a change is coming a world s catastrophe maybe when the one shall be taken and the other left thoughts such as these were often in his brain but be gave them no utterance often and often he longed to preach in a way that he had never yet attempted a way that should rouse energy and awaken conscience but he knew very well that if he spoke with the tongues of men and of angels he could not move the inhabitants of i the tragedy of a quiet life brook to more than a stare and dull smile and half afraid of the spirit that to utter itself through his lips he retreated as it were further and further into the close of his own isolated and mind there to do battle against himself and control what he considered were the fancies of an imagination and so the days and weeks went on placidly and the still and the of both public houses in fat and made good profit out of an community the little roman catholic mission but slowly there were barely twenty people to attend mass at s tin but he as its priest was never and never complained full of cheerful ness and energy his figure was soon a familiar object in the villages and he was always ready to assist the sick and poor whether they professed his own form of or not he had made his promised attempt to convert dan but his efforts were wholly vain that creature more by drink than ever was not as he himself expressed it going to be a damned pope s penitent faithfully and patiently tried his honest best to save what remnant of soul there was in that base ton of material man but he had to give up the task at last and after a final appeal and argument which had nearly ended in dan s him with blows in the public street he had left him to the tender of mr meeting that gentleman by chance one day however he was bold enough to stop him in his walk and request him to have an eye on dan as the man was dangerous mr stretched his wide ugly mouth into its usual grin dangerous he echoed in tones really i don t quite understand you do you not that is a pity and the little priest planted himself still more firmly across the path along which h v r the tragedy of a quiet life his manner implied that he wished the subject dropped and did not pursue it in the short space of little more than two years long ages seemed to have rolled away since the affair which however was as fresh in the mind of every of as though it had only just occurred dan himself never allowed it to be forgotten dan who had become a veritable demon in his drink never ceased the story of what he conceived to be his wrongs and his injuries to would listen to his and as everything he said was always repeated with the whole district for miles round was affected by a vague distrust and dislike of the and gave them what is called the cold shoulder people said oh no there was nothing exactly them but mrs was a mischievous woman one could not be too careful and again it was always a mistake for a parson to too much with his and mr was rather in that way and his wife was well really such a very conceited little person i and so on and so on with that spread of little which are like the of a from and dirty minds little which are far more wicked than open because they cannot be proved sufficiently to the law to meet with the law s punishment to say that mr and mrs did not aid and dan in his congenial task of making it difficult for richard and his wife to live pleasantly in would be to their undoubtedly great abilities no two people ever lived who more enjoyed the business of others and even as mr delighted in beer so mrs delighted in this virtuous couple however went to church regularly not church but another more modem one with a high situated nearer to the and they were also regular respectability sat on their brows who could doubt the honesty of mr with his smile and eye who could suspect s a romance of two worlds the soul of the sorrows of satan the master christian power god s good man holy orders boy the mighty holy orders the tragedy of a quiet life by author of of co street w c london first in r author s note the chief incidents of the following story occurred some years ago in an obscure and dreary little village not on the but in a lonely and district lying some few miles inland from the north east coast the of the parish at that time was something of a hero in his quiet way and fought bravely against the overwhelming forces of the drink interests in his neighbourhood whether he really conquered or was conquered in the struggle has never to my knowledge been determined and does not to the present narrative but his single handed combat lasted for a long time and was pathetic to the extreme of patience and endurance and his history though known only to a few has furnished sufficient material for a similar character to his in my imaginary friend richard who may perhaps in his own person move the public to thoughtfully consider the silent bravely endured by many noble men of the church who have devoted and | 33 |
are their lives to the conditions of the people and to lifting them out of the of that devouring of all reason health and good drink in certain rural districts especially those which are solitary and secluded and far away from great there is a general dislike of a parson he is looked upon as a sometimes he is one far more often he is not but a strong feeling holy orders nearly always exists against him and this is and encouraged by all such persons in his neighbourhood as may happen to have interests in the liquor trade sometimes the feeling reaches such a that the unfortunate man is regularly or else exposed to the most and injurious persecution it takes something more than the usual soldier s to daily bear with the miserable the mean the ignorant and vulgar of a petty parish in arms against its spiritual yet there are hundreds of rural clergy who cheerfully endure these narrow and prejudices warriors for the right and the true hidden away in the and least frequented corners of the british fighting steadily under their divine master s orders without honour without hope of recognition without personal comfort often in the end dying and broken hearted because the powers of drink have proved more potent with their than the power of christ humble heroes these in the counting of their own lives but surely to the ultimate working out of the nation s health strength and wisdom for just as one ill tempered and clergyman will with his own unpleasant attributes a whole community so will one warm hearted kindly humane and sympathetic man of the same high calling work a if slow and gradual change in the mental feeling and attitude of even the most narrow and of rustic yet with all their cheerful patience and such men are far less appreciated in the world and much less influence than those who make their money out of the people s and degradation such as mr whose original i am told so far from coming to ruin as in the author s note pages is now a headed complacent and pious member of the house of lords and this perhaps is natural for while the one side seeks to virtue the other vice and poor humanity will always be more prone to follow vice to its own than virtue for its own happiness till it knows better that it is beginning to know better is evident the million whose labour makes the country s position and prosperity are to the of the grip in which themselves and their are held by the drink trade and with the usual sturdy common sense which lies at the core of their being they are beginning to question why they in their toiling thousands should be doomed with their children to disease and degradation for the benefit of a few drink companies and it is devoutly to be wished that the answer they arrive at will be in the form of such a fight against the national curse as may our land from the on its fair fame for it must be the people themselves who decide their own destiny they know by this time that they cannot rely on the advice proffered to them by party newspapers moreover the large sums of money by press companies out of the of and companies very naturally make the two trades v along the same lines hand and glove with each other the pity of it is that the press should have ever become a trade guided by money results more than by national honour in my present story i have selected only one episode out of many which drink writes across millions of homes and millions of lives there are hundreds of suffering a ed men in the church like who would be all the better and much the happier for the confidence help and support vm holy orders of their confidence help and support which is almost invariably denied to them should like to make special pleading for these for while our higher are nowadays such of view that they appear to and excuse the in their own ranks as well as in the ranks of that society which to lead conduct and morals these lesser men are keeping the church and purer it would otherwise be and in their almost labours are truly bearing the burden and heat of the day as for the drink evil i wish that ev ery one into whose hands this book may fall would honestly try to the wide spread misery disease crime and for which that hideous vice is responsible and would add his or her wish and will to mine in a strong prayer that the wicked financial profit derived by the few out of the physical and moral of the many may be checked and finally come to naught so that the british people released at last from the dominant sway of the liquor may rise to the best of everything in them the best of brain the best of work the best of health the best of life a temperate people must always be a strong people and to bold our own in the days that are coming we shall need all the strength that sound minds and sound bodies can give us there is no room in the future of britain for a national vice which a national weakness on july i holy orders the tragedy of a quiet life chapter i a storm of rain was sweeping over the the clouds drifted along the sky in low masses breaking asunder now and then to show fitful glimpses of blue between their dividing gloom the looked bare and wan and their were like the outline of a picture which the painter has in haste and carelessness every now and again a restless | 33 |
year of their marriage there arrived a baby boy like yet unlike her with a wise angel face and a noble head like that of the infant where he came from neither of his parents could imagine the reverend richard stared for hours at his offspring wondering why it looked so at him for he himself was quite a plain ordinary sort of man his two best features being his eyes and eyes which were deeply set and darkly blue and lips that were finely sensitive and accustomed to gentle lines of speech and smile the beauty of his baby son confused and oppressed him he was troubled by it though he knew not why his wife was not so much perplexed as delighted with her child she looked like a little girl suddenly presented by a kind friend with a model doll after the birth of this wondrous boy the family in considered itself complete everything smiled upon the happy the house was lovely the garden delicious the air good and the surrounding landscape perfect at the time this true tale opens the and his wife had enjoyed their condition of bliss for three years and their beautiful son was two old just at what is called the interesting age and it was at this very juncture that a kind of mysterious change came over the spirit of the the tragedy of a quiet life s dream so r at least as the himself was concerned in the joy of securing living and the greater bliss of winning the love of felicity crowned and completed by the arrival of the boy with the fine head and countenance the reverend richard had forgotten altogether one trifling circumstance namely that he was a clever man that is to say a man gifted above the ordinary with a wide knowledge of books a keen grasp of things social and political and a natural bias towards the graces of art and learning amid the smiles of his wife and the of his infant he had so himself that he had completely lost sight of the fact that perhaps there might be wider and more useful fields of labour than when this thought first came to him he put it away as though it were a suggestion from the evil one some deadly sin yet every now and then it persistently to him and forced itself upon his pained attention he was ashamed of it and angry with himself for giving way to what he called a weakness but nevertheless the question rang in his ears with haunting are you going to spend all your life in all his life he was only thirty five and probably taking all the chances for and against there were several years before him long years for in the time on with a most extraordinary yet who could wish for a more peaceful way of passing the days than the work of souls there was no prettier old village church in england than the one in which it was his duty to and as for his personal there was no better house anywhere than his no wife no more beautiful child what more then could he desire how was it that a sudden small yet perfectly perceptible had crept into his sky he asked himself the question many times angrily and with a keen self reproach but he kept his own counsel as to his inward condition of mind and not even to that dazzling creature of sunshine and his adored whose bewildering fairy beauty and gaiety of heart were a perpetual and modern parts p its worst and n there was something more than usually t atmosphere and the reverend richard felt he sat in his study at a round oak t strewn with letters and papers holding a his handy and trying to c his mind on his r opposite to him the spacious ve him an open view of his garden a and july but just now fitting itself into of mind as somewhat like a well kept the and memorial monuments removed tall dark and wa like solemnly to and fro in the driving i is were and marked by the muddy g worm the flower borders showed some m tie of green of waiting f the sun would only shine upon them and a drooped towards the gravel path a the of the wind s observed all these trifles with a kind of for march he said to himself gently as tho for the remark the weather is trying the tragedy of a quiet life it was that he was destitute of ideas only and here was the stumbling block his ideas would not appeal to the intelligence of were he to express himself in such lai as he desired to use were he to give his heart and soul full vent and speak with the passion and enthusiasm that inwardly consumed his being as with a flame why then his well what of his would they be angry surprised or in any way moved to unusual emotion oh no they simply would not understand there was the core and of his trouble t understand they did not understand him as it was even when he preached the oldest and most worn out in fact he was often greatly concerned as to whether they in very truth comprehended the christian doctrine at all he sometimes had a glimmering painful sense that they merely accepted it because it was the particular form of approach to the almighty which was ordained to be taught according to the laws of the country and that if by some singular chance were introduced in its stead as the religion of the realm they would accept that | 33 |
with equal alacrity and he had often sounded the members of his flock on the question of their belief because he felt it his duty so to but the answers he had received were for the most part vague and unsatisfactory there was farmer for example the best farmer anywhere about for forty miles a regular church and an excellent man in every way yet no one could honestly say he was once when the reverend had delicately touched on a certain religious matter this very huge red faced and mighty of stature had turned a pair of round eyes upon him and with a slow smile had observed now t ee do it do an t ee do it you minds your church an i minds my plough neither on us ow the almighty to work us along through a powerful lot o trouble yet worked we are an if we no questions we t be told no lies suddenly observing please sir mother says ow god can bear to live all the poor car had for the time managed to this star n by skilful handling of the that we an il souls who are not expected to comprehend the mighty but he took an early opportunity of ii rs on the subject of her son s rent who was washing her children s clothes tis half in and half out of a tub of soap like appearance listened with while the clergyman quietly and with the pointed out that the thought expressed by l l as he was familiarly called was a l little improper and ought not to have been in a child s brain t said mrs herself up tub and heaving a short sharp sigh you ma and i you are for it s not my p with my an i ve never done it thoughts in a child s brain if believe t want no for they comes there all and whatever i ve said to tain t a says to me which i don t put into his the tragedy of a quiet life that i don t and that i should never wish you sir to think as i did she declared with energy nor ever ave i done so since i was bom an but i takes it as it comes it s all for the best so long as we our in that state of life in which it has pleased god to call us these last words she uttered in the tone of a stage then glancing at the clergyman s kindly clever face she a chair and offered it to him sit down sir she said with quite a air you looks a bit but i do make so bold as to say there s no arm in either me or or any o my the se only just curious sort o little creatures to know the why an the wherefore of everything and they gives trouble to us older folk without of it but they all says their prayers as good as gold and my youngest girl she so hard that she s fair wore out when she s done an rolls over like a into bed after the amen bless her art she s but four years old an all her trouble in this life is that old mrs will never get good enough to be an angel i think o that old mrs that as been a for these many years an is as she goes on an my wants her to be an angel lord lord i ve laughed till i cried over that an irrepressible smile crossed s face a picture of pink as an apple blossom and soft as a praying till she was wore out for crazy as the lads of the village called the ancient female in question was humorous as well as pathetic and surely there was very purely christian in the child s feeling if she could in her heart the almighty to an old ugly dirty confirmed who was a disgrace to herself and her neighbours into an angel good little he said still mrs i think it is necessary for us elders to impose a certain restraint on our speech in the presence of very young children and s remark was almost i will not say quite but almost lo holy orders on the verge of what you his mother said and it appears he only repeated now those words those words was which demanded mrs well just lo this effect hesitated that you wondered how god could live watching all the poor folks die that he made himself mrs s eyes curiously i ain t goin back on it she said it s what i thinks though hi freely own my tongue often gets the better of me but mr take me myself if i sees a fly a in the milk i it out an gives the poor know a chance for its life though is a nuisance in the summer time as everybody but god made em i if they thinks at all they wants their lives as much as we do ours and though i m told in church as god ad only one son an killed him in order to wash out our sins in the blood i can t never believe twas meant that way mrs gasped richard you excuse me you don t know what a terrible thing you are saying look ere mr and mrs leaned her wet arms across the wash i ain t goin to for a moment that the almighty is a person than ourselves not a bit of it i now i wouldn t kill a son of | 33 |
mine to save anybody there i an i m only an our wretched little sins as they is all comes through our not better wherefore i says the blessed lord came down from heaven to show us how to live patient and die quiet without an trust to the father of us all to do right by us in world we ve been brought ere without our own wish an got to suffer a deal o woe that s my view of religion an a bad one no doubt it is but lord love ye mr and here her round face beamed at him don t ye over me one bit you ll never see me miss a sunday out of church for the an the prayers us all good even if we can t make it all out and you re a real bom which is what we wanted the tragedy of a quiet life for this parish ad a man previous what lived with his cook quite a fine on the sly an all of us it an couldn t say for says my pore dear as is gone we must im in the an that you will mr was impossible so that when he died of a fit twas a good for all round an i m sure we couldn t wish for a better parson an wife than you an your lady so now sir and she nodded at him you ve no need to as i says for you your an to the best o my powers i ll do mine an i ll bite my tongue ard before i let it talk over s ed bout what he s a bit too yoimg to see for proper with this most uncertain and entirely explanation had to be content and never afterwards saw mrs in church without a nervous he began to be afraid of getting on religious subjects with his at all and found that it was safer to utter vague about the weather and the crops than to mention the doctrines of original sin and divine pigs furnished a more appreciated subject of discourse the birth growth and of these interesting animals being more important to the inhabitants of than any other event which an industrious press might chronicle in any part of the world there was no one in fact to whom he could impart the growing sense he had of his own to deal with this rough human material which though undoubtedly endowed with the spirit which for yet had no means of its real of thought he was a man and he had no other of his class with whom to exchange ideas true there were two great houses the one of his patron squire who had selected him for the living of and who was hardly ever in the place his wife and daughters preferring to drag him about in the wake of mischievous modem society which to spend its money on foreign rather than to help forward the equally beautiful and much more healthy pleasure places at home the other the villa to use w h h holy orders of the of the district whose hideous the some eight or ten away with the squire ever ton and his pretty wife were on terms of pleasure and intimacy whenever that gentleman was at home with the he was at open for had two public houses a criminal for so small a place and both were tied to messrs and co who kept well supplied with the poison that ever went down the throats of men in the shape of beer himself was a self satisfied who had allied himself for his own advantage to the daughter of a in order that he might claim to be connected with the aristocracy he was a persistent church and a publicly that is to say he drank nothing but water and gave his friends nothing but water while he made his money out of the working man s or rather let us say the working man s delirium brought on by the consumption of his poison with such characteristics as these every one will admit that he was a good and righteous man but he hated the reverend richard and the reverend richard so far as it was possible for a christian minister with human blood in his veins to hate hated him in return mrs a somewhat lady with a voice and an manner detested to use her own expression that odious little woman it was a case of simple cause and mrs being pretty and mrs plain mrs being the mother of a boy whose beauty was the wonder of all who beheld him and mrs having produced ugly boy and girl who might for all the good temper and intelligence they showed just as well have never been bom these and other equally reasons kept the two families well apart mrs indeed though as a rule the sweetest of sweet creatures could not altogether refrain from giving her pretty head a slight very slight toss of indifference when she happened to pass mrs on the country road and mrs made no the tragedy of a quiet life attempt to restrain the veiy which affected her nose and throat at the merest side glimpse of mrs such being the position of things it followed that there were no real neighbours in the true sense of the word for a man of learning and refinement such as the was for even squire his patron was scarcely to be called though he had plenty of good humour and shrewd yet the years of his life at had so far been spent in such happiness that he had never thought it possible or likely | 33 |
that he might with a growing mind some day need a growing and that which the intellectual spirit when it finds itself hemmed in on all sides by provincial had not as yet seriously troubled him and its first were only now b to pinch him in a warning and not to say and manner are you going to pass all your life in the question put as it were by the mocking voice of some interior demon was asked of him again on this cold march morning when he sat trying to write what he felt could never be written and yet what burning thoughts were in his brain longing to communicate themselves to his motionless pen thoughts of the goodness and majesty of the creator thoughts of the daily discoveries of science thoughts of the inexhaustible millions upon millions of systems in space thoughts that were like lightning poems singing themselves to his inner consciousness and declaring him to be a living soul a part of god a spark of the divine sent to itself through experience and difficulty fix m the imperfect to the perfect state of being the daily papers brought him news of the world s and the paltry of religion worked up by certain followers of who saw no shame in themselves with the of a cheap and degraded press he recognised the wrong that was being done to the pure teaching of christ and the that was wrought among men by the spread of doctrine he longed to be up and chapter xiii the sun had sunk below the horizon when lean ing his across his garden gate looked down the darkening road outside with some not having been able to finish his writing as quickly as he had anticipated he had sent to meet on her way back bom the woods saying she s very smart to y in a new white she declares she has put on to please y u not me i so be generous and give you all the advantage of it i you go and find her among the and be her escort home had accepted the errand with delighted alacrity and had gone off at once but he had now been absent some tim evening was to dose in and there was no sign of his return one or two stars in the warm sky and the of a perfect peace with the deepening shadows the of leaves and ascended sweetly bom the earth and just where the stood a of thrust its against his shoulder m its delicate all the spirit of the firing he could not see the village bom his point of and as he waited listening for the first ai or the first sound of his wife s laughing voice as he had so often heard it out merrily in conversation with he he heard a strange smothered cry as of several persons moved by one sense of horror a sudden thrill ran coldly through his heart he the and took one or two the tragedy of a quiet life weather fm sure it s the weather and it s all horrid but dick you ll have to go out in the rain i m afraid there s been a very bad fight in the village and that dreadful man has nearly killed his wife isn t it awful she smiled and her eyes with a kind of sparkle whether of tears or laughter it would have been hard to say he loosened her from his clasp and his face grew pale and stem again he said i must go at once he is a dangerous customer she looked at him as he hastily swept his letters and papers together were you writing your sermon darling she no that is i was trying to think about it but really i m afraid my brain isn t as clear as it might be i am not quite sure what i ought to say sometimes and i feel anxious about it almost as if i were not altogether doing my duty oh dick and looked reproachfully amazed how can you say such a thing your sermons are simply bee perfectly lovely i you know they are he took her pretty face between his two hands and kissed it again i know nothing of the sort little wife he i feel myself to be dull and heavy and helpless too that s the worst of it helpless for i cannot keep even from the public house with this he hurriedly left his study and went out into the hall his wife followed him and watched him rather wistfully as he put on his great coat and looked about for his umbrella after all dick she said how can you keep people from the public house as long as has that beer club where everybody who takes a ticket gets a big barrel of beer at christmas all to themselves it s too much to ask of a clergyman that he should be for as well as religion my dear religion and ought to go i holy orders together and there s no getting over the fact when men are they have not understood the meaning of religion r or else religion has not appealed to them in the way it should do the very to soil himself with so d a vice as the is perhaps not the of the murmured my dear child no reasonable man should allow himself to be by anything or any one it s a sign of weakness and of course a is weak morally and physically only what i mean is that religion the religion of christ should be able to impress and control the weak as well as | 33 |
her pretty white hands i don t want to hear anything about mind and soul or imagination i want baby to be just baby and so it was baby at least for the present remained baby and it was only nurse who called him master nurse knew him better even than his parents and had become much impressed by his personal dignity this he showed in various ways of his own for example he disliked all dirty things and was only content with perfect cleanliness certain pictures in the nursery he strove to hide from his eyes with one tiny hand and as this gesture was not quite understood by his elders he managed to up on his cot and tear them down they were not objectionable pictures but they were unnatural is to say they were nursery pictures of the kind which are called by the of christmas numbers suitable for children there were fat impossible and red faced carrying pale pink dogs in their arms all of which creatures moved master to quiet scorn was always hearing of some curious and original deed on the part of her son but she paid very little attention to any of the signs and symptoms of his possible future mental development all she thought of was that he was her baby her own her very own beautiful baby and her chief idea was that he must be fed well and have his own way whenever it was possible this was the business of the day for her the business upon which she set all her energies baby s food baby s brain and baby s thoughts were to use her own frank utter nonsense if asked she would have said with the most charming assumption of maternal wisdom that a child of two has no brain worth considering and no thoughts worth thinking that was her opinion nurse entertained quite a different view of the matter being a trained woman whose life had been spent with children of all sorts sickly and healthy br ht and dull and who had studied their moods and manners holy orders with dose and sympathetic attention she was interested in her charge and said of him to her own special friends master is a wonderful child he wiu be a great man but thought no such thing she thought in fact little about the mental development of her small son as she did of the soul if he had one of the troublesome whose drunken had summoned her husband out of his peaceful study into the wind and rain on this cross and cloudy march she was perfectly happy in she had never wanted more than a home a husband and a baby and she had all three nothing further existed in the universe bo far as she was concerned and as soon as she had finished the drawing room which was one of the little duties she imposed on herself regardless of the fact that the house maid had always it perfectly beforehand she tripped up to the nursery singing as she went full of a careless gaiety being so happily constituted as to be indifferent to any troubles in which she did not share and after all it is fortunate that the greater majority of women are even as she and that few of them have the finer perception and power to look beyond the circle of their own comfortable surroundings into the speechless miseries of the wider world chapter ii meantime while the pleasures of peaceful and contented reigned in his household the himself was hurrying through the mist and rain to the village not to the ancient stone built part of it but strange to say to the model portion where the cottages were so pretty and so devised with and little separate gardens to each that one would have thought it impossible for any man dwelling in such comfortable quarters to so far forget himself as to come home drunk at any time of day much less in the morning before twelve o clock however such had been the case with the individual called a huge creature with enormous square shoulders and thick bull head who now leaning his powerful arms folded across the bars of his cottage gate looked up with a drowsy as he saw the approaching two or three other men were hanging about and a little knot of women with over their heads were in the road heedless of the pouring talking together their faces expressing a vague and pitiful terror walked straight up to and addressed him at once without the matter here he asked in a quiet may i come in the man eyed him over with a stupid you t he replied thickly a s s is castle go way looked at him steadily now you know you don t mean that he to preach at me eh said i it no not by a long chalk i knows you j n no drink beggars all of em d i m drunk what else should i be drunk an in it there i made a thrust with his fist into space s knocked down an imaginary enemy i moment looking round among the stood hanging back ashamed and tone re anything really wrong has he hurt his wi m came forward and volunteered the answer ir i m afraid so at least as for as we can words an she ran out o the cottage scream ran in again and then we heard a terrible we re afraid she s very bad in there said suddenly then waking in reverie she s ad a good un this time laugh thickly then with a quick change to he removed his | 33 |
man but a pint of mixed poison is a different matter altogether and as you say is responsible if dan wakes up in two or three hours and gets more drink and his wife altogether will be the real murderer not that s the right way to put it said it s a strong way but it s the right way however i ll take care no more mischief is done for the present at any rate i ll look after when he wakes look after him and the doctor s eyes what will you do with him holy orders s thin delicate face looked a shade more and serious don t quite know he said simply but i am placed here in this as guardian of the moral and welfare of all the people under my charge and must try my best i am quite aware here he hesitated a moment then spoke out more bravely am quite aware how little a clergyman can do even at the best of times to warn or persuade i know that the very doctrines of our lord are in these strange days of rank placed ar it were under suspicion but i am to all that and prepared for failure always still as said before i must try my best brand was silent he had a great respect for the with an under sense of vague compassion as a medical man whose practice lay chiefly among the he knew exactly how much and how little to expect of them he knew that they resented all interference even if it were for their good and equally he knew that most of them possessed an inexhaustible fund of warm homely which if appealed to in the proper way never failed to move them to a right condition of mind in fact as he often said among his own it was not religion which had so much hold on them as the sentiment of religion and the most successful spiritual of their conduct was the man who most maintained that sentiment in his own attitude and behaviour towards them i think resumed after a pause in a tone i ll just run up and tell my wife that i shall not be home to luncheon and then i ll come back here and wait till wakes he won t wake for at least an hour said brand surveying with some the heap of man doubled up in the porch over which an early yellow nodded its innocent golden besides why should you come back isn t there a man in the village who could ke the tragedy of a quiet life not a man who would have the strength to contend with him replied if he wanted to go back to the public house there s no one in the place who would dare hinder him no one who would dare repeated the doctor well no i suppose not he looked again at s figure and thoughtful then he said hurriedly all r ht i i shall be about in the neighbourhood mrs another victim of s fell over with a kettle of boiling water yesterday and her arm so i m looking after her and a few others and by the way there s that young fellow robert hell not last very long now it s galloping consumption and he has not the ghost of a chance i suppose you couldn t say a word about him to the girl s brows darkened the girl is a hopeless character he said slowly hopeless because heartless the doctor gave him a quick glance well you know best about that he said her good looks are almost as great a curse to men as the you ve certainly got enough to do with your mr i your work s cut out for you in and no mistake good bye for the present he strode and stood still in the little porch of s cottage smitten by a sudden sharp sense of pain your work s cut out for you in was it so cut out had he not that very morning longed for a wider field of labour his heart ached heavily and a feeling of utter weariness overcame him he looked at the drunken man huddled on the seat close by with an almost shuddering sense of was the soul of that disgraced human creature really valuable to the almighty creator of heaven and earth before whom our planet itself is but a grain of dust surely it was stretching too fine a point to say it was and yet science with her clear vision and scales of justice declared that not even a grain of holy orders dust was lost in the great scheme of the and and who was he richard that he should presume to set any limit to the minute as well as magnificent intentions of the divine stung by a quick shame as well as remorse he roused himself from his thoughts and turning towards the half open cottage door gently of the woman within how is mrs now sleeping easy sir thank you and mrs brown wrinkled but kindly of face and brisk in movement came to the door don t you bother no more mr well a bit of trouble when dan wakes i shall be here replied quickly so you need not be anxious i m just going to the for a moment and then i ll come back again he smiled cheerily and raised his hat with the courtesy which he invariably showed to all women rich and poor old and young and hurried away | 33 |
home his wife saw him coming from the nursery windows and ran down to open the door with expressions of delight that he had returned so soon it s only for a few minutes he said just give me a cup of soup and a that s all the lunch i want i must go and watch till he s she uttered an exclamation of surprise and dismay go and watch she echoed oh dick what are you thinking about that dreadful man why d you it s quite absurd it really is i don t think so he said with mild has nearly killed his wife as it it will be days before she leaves her bed he s now in a heavy stupor when he wakes the first thing he will do is to set off to the public house and i wouldn t answer for his wife s life to night if he does he must be prevented from drinking any more to day and i m going to prevent him you can t dick said his wife positively he ll simply knock vou hat i the tragedy of a quiet life let him and laughed i i shall be a match for him if it comes to mrs drooped her pretty head and her lips framed the little that was so eminently but dick she protested i don t really see that it is your business he interrupted her is it my business to prevent murder in the village or is it not he asked almost sternly why do you try to my hands she tried to look penitent but failed you might send for a policeman she murmured and have the wretched drunken brute locked up if i did that he said quietly i should deserve to be locked up myself would when sober very rightly judge me as one of the and he thinks all are no i shall deal with as i would wish to be dealt with myself if i were in his condition oh dear and clapped her hands and gave vent to a little rippling peal of laughter you in that condition fancy poor gentle good old dick there i m sorry if i ve said anything naughty ill order the soup for you and oh dick baby is simply quite wonderful to day nurse says he is a positive miracle what has he done now and richard his momentary vexation passing threw off his wet great coat and went into the dining room there to wait till the light refreshment he had asked for was served to him i m prepared for anything he has begun to write v declared nurse gave him a pencil and paper just to keep him quiet and he wrote all over it in the sweetest running hand don t laugh dick it s re y wonderful of course there are no real words on the paper it s only but still it shows that he wants to write doesn t it i m afraid it does said with an air of mock gravity and it s a very bad sign it shows that holy orders trusting no longer that earthly flower would be heavenly fruit come from the poor no souls and to die with the brute the passionate words of the greatest of modem english poets through his brain they had been written in a grand scorn for the but were they true and if true why should life be lived at all when there was nothing to live for self slaughter might be called cowardly but surely self deception was its equal in cowardice a mellow measured sound here upon his ears it was the church clock striking midnight the house was very silent he supposed the servants had gone to bed he had no idea that they were all sitting up together in the kitchen talking in frightened whispers over the day s ghastly for the slightest movement on his part and ready to guard him from any reckless act of grief or desperation he might be moved to commit he did not know that was likewise on the alert waiting in his bedroom with the door just slightly so that he could hear even the indeed was sorely troubled he did not know what to do for the best he murmured many and ave mechanically out of old routine and habit but felt that they were wholly inadequate to meet the occasion his and kindly nature was easily moved to tears and he wept freely over the fate of the little woman for whom he had felt an almost paternal affection and friendship how horrible it had been to see her lying dead among the how horrible he had gone to the woods gaily along light of heart and thinking no evil of any man every now and then whistling by way of a call to her he had found her pretty hat with its blue ribbon lying among the last year s leaves and he had picked it up and swung it on his arm then he had whistled again and then then he had seen her lying downward on the ground with blood through her the tragedy of a quiet life she flushed suddenly h how can i miller is a real bad it isn t only bob she s a brute to others as weu i know i he said sorrowfully but is dying and he loved her he would like to see her again just once and she will not go near him well if she won t i cannot make her said so don t ask me to try dick very well he laid | 33 |
his hands on her shoulders and for a moment bent an earnest rather wistful gaze upon her then he kissed her gently you must do as you think best you won t be long away will you she pleaded as she followed him out of the dining room into the hall no not longer than i can help he answered and in another couple of minutes he was gone horrible villagers i and uttering this exclamation to herself gave a stamp of her foot to enforce it they are just simply awful oh they are drink drink drink and gossip gossip gossip all day they come to church on sundays and stare at each other and pretend to say their prayers and then they go home and run each other down as and as they can and they actually call themselves christians she gave a toss of her pretty head and ran upstairs to her precious baby never considering for a moment that perhaps she herself was not altogether christian in the sentiments she had just expressed concerning the inhabitants of nurse she exclaimed as she tripped lightly into the pretty airy room where master was just now considering the possibilities of a square wooden block with the first letter of the painted mr has had to go down into the village again to see after that terrible and he s only had a cup of soup and a it s too bad there is such a lot of holy orders and wife he saw him open the door and hesitate then enter and shut himself ia a rush of tears to the priest s eyes from his view poor poor fellow i he said softly if he could only cry like a woman it would do him good his brain is on fire with or else it is with despair the sight of her so calm so peaceful so may the of healing as for me will pray for him but god forgive me if i say for it seems but little use and with that he smote his breast and muttered many times for this lash utterance which according to the teaching of his amounted to that sin against the holy ghost known as of god s mercy and down he buried his head in his hands and earnestly and the loving pity of heaven for his and meanwhile little sleeping as he was accustomed to do all alone in his was disturbed and by a strange dream he thought he saw his mother standing near him there was a pale brightness all round her like summer ti and she had a white dress on and a of white shining flowers in her hair she looked at him and said very gently father wants you darling was so sleepy that he could not quite understand her so he rubbed his eyes with his two doubled up little fists and for a moment only stared at her without speaking then she came closer to his bedside and bent over him and kissed him her kiss was so quick and t and warm that it was like a flame and the touch of it woke him up yes he sure he was wide awake and equally sure that his mother stood smiling at him though her ce was very sad and she said again baby dear wants and he was sorry he had not jumped up before in obedience to her call but be answered now at once a rights i are you better to this she did not reply and when he looked at her again she was gone he slipped hastily out of bed and the tragedy of a quiet life yes that s right said nurse mother s name begins with a a stands for mother s name quite was almost breathless at this sudden outburst of master s learning the darling she isn t he sweet oh nurse i m sure hell be very she jumped up from the floor and looked out of the window oh isn t it i she said we might have gone out if it had cleared up only just a very little i hate being indoors all day she sighed poor dick fancy his going to watch awful he wasn t always so bad i ve heard said nurse slowly there s good in him somewhere but it s hard to discover however if it s to be found at all the will find it you think so and with her little white fingers on the window pane as she looked out at the lowering sky i m not at all sure he s too good and gentle and some of the people about here call him soft that does make me so angry i and i wish he would be hard hard as nails that wouldn t be like christ said the and a christian minister has to try and be as like christ as possible looked at her curiously you are a real aren t you she asked i mean you really do think christ wants you to be good and to take care of your soul nurse who was a quiet and woman seemed a little startled by the i t think i quite look at it in that way she replied but i love the beautiful life and teaching of our lord and i don t ask any questions i just trust him and do tlie best i can but that s not you know said holy orders that s not all you ve i to believe i sometimes here she broke off and laughed oh no i i never think at all it doesn t do but i ought never to have been a wife because i don t like visiting the | 33 |
sick and the poor and all that kind of thing and though i m a mother tm not fit to hold a mothers meeting or over a girls friendly society or wants somebody old and plain and for that and tm not old and vm not plain and i m not i i m just i yes it s so nice to be silly when one is young and at present i really cannot be anything else even baby wiser than i shall ever here she lifted the child from the floor and held him up to the window he at once showed displeasure at the sight of the pouring rain and struggled to get down dear me nurse she exclaimed almost how restless baby is he really seems dissatisfied with everything nurse smiled again oh i don t think he s dissatisfied ma am she said but i ve always noticed that he doesn t like being taken away from one thing to do another you see he was busy busy echoed with wide open eyes why what on earth was he doing he had his and the nurse pointed to the scattered blocks that lay about the floor and i think he was trying to make words he often to spell quite long words correctly if you put him down i m sure he ll go back to his work laughed merrily go back to his work oh baby dear you queer little soul here she set him on the floor much to his delight the idea of your working she laughed again while master yet made straight for his bricks and down comfortably set himself again to the labour of arranging them in such form and as he imagined the tragedy of a quiet life m t lead to the comprehension of the language used by the strange human beings among whom he as a small transformed angel had now to take his place and part his mother watched him for a moment then yawned it s time for lunch now she said with a glance at the clock i must go down and have it all by myself it s really too bad of dick to put himself out so much all for the sake of such a hopeless character as dan hell do no good i m sure she sauntered out of the nursery singing as she went nurse made no remark and only continued her sewing a little more quickly glancing at her young she saw that he had set three letters of the in line on the floor wide apart but in a fairly straight position and that he was alternately looking at these and at a large coloured text which hung on the wall god is love his baby brow was almost with thought and his little mouth was folded into quite a severe line he studied his straggling blocks with deep earnestness g o d there was a mystery behind them if he could only with it put them together said nurse all together he turned and looked at her she made a movement with her hand so side by side all together his big blue eyes sparkled and he understood soon he had the word dear god that s quite right said the nurse in her soft soothing that s just as it should be god that s like the pretty picture up there god is love and she smiled and nodded at him he gave her a smile but at the same time heaved a small sigh god the word stared him in the face and he folded his hands together and stared back at it again it was a great sign and some dim consciousness of it seemed to affect him the real idea which had taken possession of his brain was that he must try and copy the text on the wall but the holy orders of it was a little after seven when they started and by quarter past eight they had left the neighbourhood of the far behind them and were through another county at a speed which set all laws for at defiance no one had seen dan mount the car the road where he had picked up his friend in need had been quite deserted at the time and even in the fields on either side there was not so much as a stray left working after sunset so that no trace was left of him as to how or where he had gone he this with a sullen sense of satisfaction his brain was still heavy and confused with drink though like many brutes of his type he had the appearance of being sober he sat and watched the the trees the farms the scattered villages all past him as it were in the hurry the air lashed his face like a wave of water the skies and the earth mingled gradually into one grey of colour as the evening darkened slowly down one curious cluster of bright spots remained with him however and always danced in front of his eyes a gleam of yellow as of in bloom a whiteness as of a woman s garment and a dark red stain as of blood he was worried by these vivid of memory yet he knew quite well what they were he knew he had killed mrs the wife as he had called her and he was not sorry he was vaguely frightened when he thought of it but he was not sorry there was no or regret within him in a dull sort of way he tried to argue with himself that it had to be his clouded thoughts constantly to with a bitterness none the less intense because familiar and futile the | 33 |
only girl he ever loved the only girl he ever loved he repeated this over and over again till it set itself like a refrain to the rush of the car she was a real beauty she was and he had been robbed of her never never should he forget the night when he went home to his cottage meaning to be kind and gentle to worn and and she had begun to cry and speak of and to say how parson s chapter iii with the passing of the hours the clouds and the rain poured persistently over as though it meant to drown both the old and new village for good and all the brook swelled to a torrent which rattled among the cast away pots and and preserved meat with quite an angry of sound and the vegetables began to float steadily away on a journey towards the river there to be swept into the clean oblivion of the sea sat just within the open doorway of s cottage looking at the heavy showers which spread a cold grey sheet of wet over the visible scene and in the kindness of his heart felt sorry for himself who still sleeping in the porch was likely to be chilled through by the creeping damp which penetrated to the very bones despite the warmest clothing in truth the wretched man made a miserable picture rolled together as it were in what was more of a stupor than a sleep his breathing was loud and his face was flushed with patches of feverish red and the veins in his thick neck stood out like knotted whip cord the surveyed him anxiously and from time to time glanced at his watch it was three o clock he had been more than two hours at his post and it was only natural that he should feel tired he was tired and he admitted it to himself tired and sick at heart what after all was the good of his remaining beside this hopeless who when he woke would probably only resent his presence holy orders he had no power to persuade he was merely a parson he not a the was the physical and governor of such men as the could compel them to murder or robbery but the minister of christ could not hold them back from the s sway how then how more than feeble seemed the minister of christ what use am i he thought wearily i can read the services i can preach sermons which are i can marry and bury but i cannot hold one of them back from the public house i can talk to them of the evils of drink i can put a true scientific analysis of s before oh yea i can do all this without the least they listen of course they show that outward respect which they consider due to me and having heard all i have to say they straightway forget it and i am not alone in my trouble thousands of men in my calling are attempting the same hopeless task others wearied by their own ineffectual have given it up in despair and are content to met things go and there is always the same old cry in every rural town and village the parson with everybody and everything god knows i do not seek to interfere it is only that if i see human souls rushing blindly to i cannot look on without myself between them and the brink of hell and for that i am likely to be blamed and worse than blamed at that moment the gave a violent start stretching out his arms he entered into a kind of furious struggle with himself in the course of which he opened his eyes and about him like an angry bull he stammered seeing who s who s that the answered gave vent to an inarticulate exclamation and i the tragedy of a quiet life the and standing upright he swayed to and g good morning sir good morning responded or rather good afternoon it s three o clock you didn t think it was as late as that did you was rubbing his hand vaguely over his hair no he said i didn t think twas so myself you ve over drunk yourself man that s what s the matter and stood up face to face with him as and i know be sorry for it you ve hurt your wife very badly my wife stopped rubbing his hair and looked ow s that what s the matter come and see and turned into the cottage to follow he did so with a step and at the first sight of his wife lying in bed with her pale face and eyes he became as it were instantly he said in quite a changed voice what s wrong eh she opened her eyes and her poor thin features were by a smile of love and tenderness dan she held out her arms and as he bent over her she laid them gently round his neck dear dan you didn t mean it i know you didn t it was just the drink that drove you mad for a minute he lifted her up and held her against his breast what did i do tell me did i ye god forgive me did i ye no said his wife bravely only a very little don t you mind ill soon be all right dan but you ll keep away dan won t you you ll keep away from the drink not for my sake but for your own dan | 33 |
it does upset you so kiss me dan he kissed her and laid her down then looked in a be holy orders way round the little room mrs in her self appointed duty of nurse had made some tea and she now held out a of that fragrant drink this she said brightly do you good and clear your ed of that stuff an you mr you ain t ad no an you must be down tired will you take a cup thanks very much i will and turned towards her to avoid the pained stare of s eyes and to give him a little time in which to the situation stood for a moment as though in doubt then setting the cup of tea down on the table flung himself heavily into a chair mrs looked at him won t you ave your tea dan she asked he made no answer quietly drew another chair to the table and sat down opposite to him better now he said cheerily and nodding towards the little doorway which opened into the adjoining room where mrs lay he added she ll be all right in a day or two if you re careful of her her life depends on you of course you know that her life her life muttered then with a sudden darkening of his features he looked full into s face what i want to know is this how do you to be ere what s your business my business and the flushed slightly and then grew pale my business is to treat you as i would treat my own brother and see that you get into no more mischief oh that s what it is is it and gave a short laugh of incredulity well i m t ye an if ye ll be so good as to clear out i ll not ask ye to call again mrs who had been sweeping up the hearth and was now putting a fresh kettle full of water on the fire to boil looked round startled dan i she you don t mean that the tragedy of a quiet life i mean it and brought his fist down heavily on the table with a fierce blow i mean that this ere reverend gentleman t no right to enter my or sit at my table without i im an i v permit im an i to im out t an if e s a man e ll do t straight i rose quietly all right he said i came as a friend but an the sooner the better said with a kind of angry grin what do i pay rent for a to myself an yet can t keep a busy parson out of it came ere to see me eh well you ve see d it an i you liked it an as for my wife you ve er say as ow i t er why should i er ain t she my wife why should i go to what s my own do up to your parson an see ow you carries on when the doors fa shut do come in an say to your ob my pore woman your s no good an i m coming to look ye no i tl an what the devil do you mean by a what no man would do all you re a parson you takes too much on i a deal too much an so i tells ye to clear out o this ere afore i makes ye mrs stood as it were rooted to the ground in terror at the tone of this speech accompanied as it was by threatening gestures but maintained a perfectly tranquil you mistake me he said you mistake me altogether but never mind perhaps understand better later on i m sorry you look upon me as an i had hoped otherwise he paused then took his hat and prepared to leave the cottage i wish he continued fixing his brave clear keen eyes on the s sullen countenance i wish i might as your ask you to make me a promise gave a kind of holy orders oh ye may ask anything ye like he don t drink any more poison lo day and going up to him laid one hand kindly on his shoulder give mc your word you won t and believe you i i as man to man mc i with a smothered oath sprang up from his chair and seemed about to give vent to a torrent of abuse but meeting s steady appealing e full of a sorrowful almost affectionate reproach his head drooped and he gave a forced angry laugh all right r he said for peace an i i promise i the friendly hand dropped from his shoulder thank you i and to you ll see things in quite a different light tm sure stood silent and with an encouraging smile and nod to the visibly distressed mrs left the cottage without another word outwardly composed but inwardly sorely troubled again he felt his own helplessness again he questioned himself as to the usefulness or the utter of the position he occupied when the country s press open discussion of the new theory old as the hills and false as the kiss of that christ was merely a man like ourselves what can be done with people who are only to be held in check by either fear or love of the divine he thought and when medical men unite together under pressure brought to bear upon them by the beer and spirit to pronounce that curse of the country as positively what can the | 33 |
workers for truth and right our hands are rendered our souls and our hearts in the long and anxious struggle are broken he sighed and walked on rapidly almost unconscious of the pouring rain he had a faint hope that might possibly keep his promise but he could not console himself with it as likely to be a certainty and moved by an impulse the tragedy of a quiet life well he made his way to the smart looking of the model half of the village which was known by the name of the and crow and entered it to the surprise of the proprietor a heavy faced man with red hair who passed most of his time in reading the papers and himself outside his door in his shirt sleeves can i speak to you for a moment mr he mr smiled an smile certainly you can mr certainly what can i do for you this afternoon it s very wet for you to be out sure i it is wet and looking in at the bar surrounded as it was with shelves full of shining bottles and glasses was bound to admit that so far as outward appearances of comfort were concerned had the best of it in bad weather but i ve been visiting mrs she got rather seriously hurt this morning oh indeed how was that and mr put on an of bland and sympathetic interest her husband replied the with a straight glance he was mad drunk and knocked her down dear dear and the placid sighed dear dear dear very sad very sad mr went on earnestly it is very sad and very lad so sad and bad is it that i ve come here myself to tell you that dan is not in a fit state to be given any more drink to day i ve come here to ask you as a friend to help me in preventing him from getting any more s red face grew i don t know what you mean he began i mean continued that i want you to join hands with me in a good work a work of rescue it s quite simple it won t give you any trouble it s only just this don t sell any more beer or spirits to to day if he comes round and asks you for either refuse him ly orders ij him and this si ur ed by hi inch persons i t ay to l the u reaches r r r an s regularly c the and a than bear t j l e r and n r against its r u ii c clergy t e and pre or he il t and the true ea frequented comers r i t ra r der their divine r r ut hope of re t in the end r e the powers it l i t e in the f to the v r th h ur t h own v i one t i r f nd it of author s note vii pages is now a headed complacent and pious member of the house of lords and this perhaps is natural for while the one side seeks to virtue the other vice and poor humanity will always be more prone to follow vice to its own than virtue for its own happiness till it knows better that it is beginning to know better is evident the million whose labour makes the country s position and prosperity are to the of the grip in which themselves and their are held by the drink trade and with the usual sturdy common sense which lies at the core of their being they are beginning to question why they in their toiling thousands should be doomed with their children to disease and degradation for the benefit of a few drink companies and it is devoutly to be wished that the answer they arrive at will be in the form of such a fight against the national curse as may our land from the on its fair fame for it must be the people themselves who decide their own destiny they know by this time that they cannot rely on the advice proffered to them by party newspapers moreover the large sums of money by press companies out of the of and companies very naturally make the two trades v along the same lines hand and glove with each other the pity of it is that the press should have ever become a trade guided by money results more than by national honour in my present story i have selected only one episode out of many which drink writes across millions of homes and millions of lives there are hundreds of suffering men in the church like who would be all the better and much the happier for the confidence help and support vi holy orders nearly always exists against him and this is and encouraged by all such persons in his neighbourhood as may happen to have interests in the liquor trade sometimes the feeling reaches such a climax that the unfortunate man is regularly or else exposed to the most and injurious persecution it takes something more than the usual soldier s to daily bear with the miserable the mean the ignorant and vulgar of a petty parish in arms against its spiritual head yet there are hundreds of rural clergy who cheerfully endure these narrow and prejudices warriors for the right and the true hidden away in the and least frequented corners of the british fighting steadily under their divine master s orders without honour without hope of recognition | 33 |
without personal comfort often in the end dying and broken hearted because the powers of drink have proved more potent with their than the power of christ humble heroes these in the counting of their own lives but surely to the ultimate working out of the nation s health strength and wisdom for just as one ill tempered and clergyman will with his own unpleasant attributes a whole community so will one warm hearted kindly humane and sympathetic man of the same high calling work a if slow and gradual change in the mental feeling and attitude of even the most narrow and of rustic yet with all their patience such men are j appreciate world and much th make their money out degradation such a author s note pages is now a headed complacent and pious member of the house of lords and this perhaps is natural for while the one side seeks to virtue the other vice and poor humanity will always be more prone to follow vice to its own than virtue for its own happiness till it knows better that it is beginning to know better is evident the million whose labour makes the country s position and prosperity are to the of the grip in which themselves and their are held by the drink trade and with the usual sturdy common sense which lies at the core of their being they are beginning to question why they in their toiling thousands should be doomed with their children to disease and degradation for the benefit of a few drink companies and it is devoutly to be wished that the answer they arrive at will be in the form of such a fight against the national curse as may our land from the on its fair fame for it must be the people themselves who decide their own destiny they know by this time that they cannot rely on the advice proffered to them by party newspapers moreover the large sums of money by press companies out of the of and companies very naturally make the two trades v along the same lines hand and glove with each other the pity of it is that the press should have ever become a trade guided by money suits more than by national honour in my present story i have selected only one episode lit of many which drink writes n i of homes and of lives there y t men in the church who would be all the better and the help and support vm holy orders of their confidence help and support which is almost invariably denied to them i should like to make special pleading for these for while our higher are nowadays such of view that they appear to and excuse the in their own ranks as well as in the ranks of that society which to lead conduct and morals these lesser men are keeping the church and purer than it would otherwise be and in their almost labours are truly bearing all the burden and heat of the day as for the drink evil i wish that every one into whose hands this book may fall would honestly try to the wide spread misery disease crime and for which that hideous vice is responsible and would add his or her wish and will to mine in a strong prayer that the wicked financial profit derived by the few out of the physical and moral of the many may be checked and finally come to naught so that the british people released at last from the dominant sway of the liquor may rise to the best of everything in them the best of brain the best of work the best of health the best of life a temperate people must always be a strong people and to hold our own in the days that are coming we shall need all the strength that sound minds and sound bodies can give us there is no room in the future of britain for a national vice which a national weakness on i holy orders the tragedy of a quiet life chapter i a storm of rain was sweeping over the the clouds drifted along the sky in low masses breaking asunder now and then to show fitful glimpses of blue between their dividing gloom the hills looked bare and wan and their were like the outline of a picture which the painter has in haste and carelessness every now and again a restless wind arose and blew the to and fro the landscape wore a dismal aspect and as the wet mists crept over field and common they brought with them a shuddering chill which penetrated coldly to the warmest blood and created an uncomfortable sense of physical and mental depression in a certain small village which to save all contest for shall not here be given its true name but shall be called the rain seemed to gather special force pouring in torrents over the clustered houses and down from their roofs into wide of mud through the main street as it was called merely because the post office a combined business of small and the country s happened to be was in some respects constructed so as to give the greatest possible inconvenience to those who by chance or fortune found themselves constrained to dwell in it there were two portions of it one ancient the other modem i holy orders and his delight and his from all financial care he did most men would have done under similar circumstances he fell in and got man mrs was vary pretty she was it may be at once stated much too pretty for a clergyman s wife she dainty golden blue eyed light footed with a voice like a lark and a smile like the very sunshine everything in fact that a clergyman | 33 |
s wife ought not to be if she would stand in a respectable position with county society tier quite un christian name too was absurd and almost her dress was always exquisitely though not extravagant and people said such people as there were in to say that they wondered how she could do i she was a daily joy and bewilderment to her husband during the first year of their marriage then there arrived a baby boy like yet unlike her with a wise angel face and a noble head like that of the infant where he came from neither of his parents could imagine the reverend richard stared for hours at his offspring wondering why it looked so at him for he himself was quite a plain ordinary sort of man his two best features being his eyes and mouth eyes which were deeply set and darkly blue and lips that were finely sensitive and accustomed to gentle lines of speech and smile the beauty of his baby son confused and oppressed him he was troubled by it though he knew not why his wife was not so much perplexed as delighted with her child she looked like a little girl suddenly presented by a kind friend with a model doll after the birth of this wondrous boy the family in considered itself complete everything smiled upon the happy the house was lovely the garden delicious the air good and the surrounding landscape perfect at the time this true tale opens the and his wife had enjoyed their condition of bliss for three years and their beautiful son was two old just at what is called the interesting age and it was at this very juncture that a kind of mysterious change came over the spirit of the the tragedy of a quiet life s dream so for at least as the himself was concerned in the joy of securing living and the greater bliss of winning the love of felicity crowned and completed by the arrival of the boy with the fine head and countenance the reverend richard had forgotten altogether one trifling namely that he was a clever man that is to say a man gifted above the ordinary with a wide knowledge of books a keen grasp of things social and political and a natural bias towards the graces of art and learning amid the smiles of his wife and the of his infant he had so himself that he had completely lost sight of the fact that perhaps there might be wider and more useful fields of labour than when this thought first came to him he put it away as though it were a suggestion from the evil one some deadly sin yet every now and then it persistently to him and forced itself upon his pained attention he was ashamed of it and angry with himself for giving way to what he called a weakness but nevertheless the question rang in his ears with haunting are you going to spend all your life in all his life he was only thirty five and probably taking all the chances for and against there were several years before bim long years too for in the time on with a most extraordinary yet who could wish for a more peaceful way of passing the days than the work of souls there was no prettier old village church in england than the one in which it was his duty to and as for his personal there was no better house anywhere than his no wife no more beautiful child what more then could he desire how was it that a sudden small yet perfectly perceptible had crept into his sky he asked himself the question many times angrily and with a keen self reproach but he kept his own counsel as to his inward condition of mind and not even to that dazzling creature of sunshine and his adored whose bewildering fairy beauty and gaiety of heart were a perpetual holy orders amazement to his mind did he confide what he gravely decided was a matter between and god on this day of dull rain and sweeping mist when even the garden looked dreary the spring not having yet made up its mind as to whether or no it meant finally to a long and winter and when in both its and parts presented its worst and most forlorn aspect there was something more than usually ing in the atmosphere and the reverend richard felt it he sat in his study at a round oak table strewn with letters and papers holding a pen in his hand and trying to fix mind on his next sunday s sermon opposite to him the spacious window gave him an open view of his garden a dream of beauty in june and july but just now fitting itself into his particular frame of mind as somewhat like a well kept from which the and memorial monuments had been recently removed tall dark and waved their like solemnly to and fro in the driving rain the were and marked by the muddy trail of the worm the flower borders showed some meekly little of green of waiting to grow tall if the sun would only shine upon them and a few withered drooped towards the gravel path and shivered in the of the wind s deep set thoughtful eyes ed all these trifles with a kind of morbid even for march he said to himself gently as though for the remark the weather is trying he turned his pen about finger and but wrote not a word with it a terrible conviction was forcing itself upon his mind that there was nothing to write about it was a dreadful | 33 |
fact nothing to write about he a minister of the gospel with the book of all books beside him the of spiritual prophecy and power could find nothing to say on any subject in it every week he was newly confronted by this amazing yet the tragedy of a quiet life it was not that he was destitute of ideas only and here was the stumbling block his ideas would not appeal to the of were he to express himself in such language as he desired to use were he to give his heart and soul full vent and speak with the passion and enthusiasm that inwardly consumed his as with a flame why then his well what of his would they be angry surprised or in any way moved to unusual emotion no oh no they simply would not understand there was the core and of his trouble t i not understand they did not understand him as it was even when he preached the oldest and most worn out in fact he was often greatly concerned as to whether they in very truth comprehended the christian doctrine at all he sometimes had a glimmering painful sense that they merely accepted it l it was the particular form of approach to the almighty which was ordained to be taught according to the laws of the country and that if by some chance were introduced in its stead as the religion of the realm they would accept that with equal alacrity and he had often sounded the members of his flock on the question of their belief because he felt it his duty so to do but the answers he had received were for the most part vague and unsatisfactory there was farmer for example the best farmer anywhere about for forty miles a regular church and an excellent man in every way yet no one could honestly say he was once when the reverend richard had delicately touched on a certain religious matter this very huge red faced and mighty of stature had turned a pair of eyes upon him and with a slow smile had observed now t ee do it do an t ee do it i you minds your church an i minds my plough neither on us ow the a mighty to work us along through a powerful lot o trouble yet worked we are an if we no questions we t be told no lies s holy orders then there was mrs a widow with eight young children whose husband had been killed while working on the railway line which purposely missed altogether on its way to she too was a regular church and when was preparing some of the village lads for confirmation one of her boys had created confusion in the class by suddenly observing please mother says she don t see ow god can bear to live all the poor folks die what he s made i the had for the time managed to this startling proposition by skilful handling of the that we are all poor sinful souls who are not expected to comprehend the ways of the almighty but he took an early opportunity of mrs on the subject of her son s remark mrs who was washing her children s clothes and whose arms half in and half out of a tub of soap presented a boiled like appearance listened with respectful patience while the clergyman quietly and with the greatest kindness pointed out that the thought expressed by master as he was familiarly called was a little yes just a little improper and ought not to have been allowed to find refuge in a child s brain well said mrs herself up from the wash tub and heaving a short sharp sigh you may be right mr and i you are for it s not my place to with my an i ve never done it but as for thoughts in a child s brain if you ll believe me sir they don t want no for they comes there with no trouble at all and whatever i ve said to tain t as bad as what says to me which i don t put into his ed an if god everything then it s god as is to blame your pardon mr but it s the truth i do assure you here she paused out of breath and wrung her hands free from the soap looked slightly troubled but mrs he argued you are always in church on sundays and you understand the tragedy of a quiet life no that i don t and that i should never wish you sir to think as i did she declared with energy nor ever ave i done so since i was bom an but i takes it as it comes it s all for the best so long as we our in that state of life in which it has pleased god to call us these last words she uttered in the tone of a stage then glancing at the clergyman s kindly clever face she a chair and offered it to him sit down sir she said with quite a air you looks a bit but i do make so bold as to say there s no arm in either me or or any o my they se only just curious sort o little creatures to know the why an the wherefore of everything and they gives trouble to us older folk without of it but they all says tht ir prayers as good as gold and my youngest girl she so hard that she s fair wore out when she s done an rolls over like a | 33 |
into bed after the amen bless her art she s but four years old an all her trouble in this life is that old mrs will never get good enough to be an angel think o that old mrs that as been a for these many years an is as she goes on an my wants her to be an angel lord lord i ve laughed till i cried over that an irrepressible smile crossed s face a picture of pink as an apple blossom and soft as a praying till she was wore out for crazy as the lads of the village called the ancient female in question was humorous as well as pathetic and surely there was something very purely christian in the child s feeling if she could in her innocent heart the almighty to an old ugly dirty confirmed who was a disgrace to herself and her neighbours into an angel good he said still mrs i think it is necessary for us elders to impose a certain restraint on our speech in the presence of very young children and s remark was almost i will not say quite but almost holy orders on the verge of and it appears he only repeated what you his mother said now those words those words was which demanded mrs well just to this effect hesitated that you wondered how god could live watching all the poor folks die that he made himself mrs s eyes curiously well i ain t goin back on it she said it s what i thinks though til freely own my tongue often gets the better of me but there mr take me myself if i sees a fly a in the milk i it out an gives the poor know in seek a chance for its life though is a nuisance in the summer as everybody knows but god made em i if they thinks at all they wants their lives as much as we do and though tm told in church as god ad only one an killed him in order to wash out our sins in the blood i can t never believe twas meant that way mrs gasped richard you you excuse me you don t know what a terrible thing you are saying look ere mr and mrs leaned her wet arms across the wash tub i ain t goin to for a moment that the almighty is a person than ourselves not a bit of it now i wouldn t kill a son of mine to save anybody there i an i m only an our wretched little sins as they is all comes through our not better wherefore i says the blessed lord came down from heaven to show us how to live patient and die quiet without an trust to the father of us all to do right by us in this world we ve been brought ere without our own wish an got to suffer a deal o woe that s my view of religion an a bad one no doubt it is but lord love ye mr i and here her round face beamed at him don t ye over me one bit you ll never see me miss a sunday out of church for the an the prayers us all good even if we can t make it all out and you re a real bom which is what we wanted the tragedy of a quiet life for this ad a man previous what lived with his quite a fine on the sly an all of us it an couldn t say for my pore dear as is gone we must im in the an that you will mr was impossible so that when he died of a fit twas a good for all round an i m sure we couldn t wish for a better parson an wife than you an your lady now sir and she nodded at him you ve no need to as i says for you your an to the best o my powers i ll do mine an i ll bite my tongue ard before i let it talk over s ed bout what he s a bit too young to see for proper with this most uncertain and entirely explanation had to be content and never afterwards saw mrs in church without a nervous he b an to be afraid of getting on religious subjects with his at all and found that it was safer to utter vague about the weather and the crops than to mention the doctrines of sin and divine pigs furnished a more appreciated subject of discourse the birth growth and of these interesting animals being more important to the inhabitants of than any other event which an industrious press might chronicle in any part of the world there was no one in fact to whom he could impart the growing sense he had of his own to deal with this rough human material which though undoubtedly endowed with the spirit which for yet had no means of its real of thought he was a man and he had no other of his class with whom to exchange ideas true there were two great houses the one of his patron squire who had selected him for the living of and who was hardly ever in the place his wife and daughters preferring to drag him about in the wake of mischievous modem society which to spend its money on foreign rather than to help forward the equally beautiful and much more healthy pleasure places at home the other the villa to use holy orders of the of the district whose hideous the landscape some eight or ten | 33 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.